Long days are often met with short evenings. The time just seems to slip away faster after all the busy work is finished, it’s like the calm causes the clock to turn faster. At least, that’s how I often feel. My mornings are often spent with my cousins, tending to the plants all over the garden. Springtime flowers blooming means all hands on deck for pollination, including me. I’m not able to do as much as the honeybee colony does, but I know my help is appreciated. With the crisp morning air, it’s honestly my favorite time of year. The soft blooms of primroses and winecups make for amazing beds for a noon nap, and the calm winds mixing all the fragrances of Spring together in the midday warmth make that nap all the more cozy. 

My afternoons are spent at home in my workshop until the evening runs around. I’ve got a long list of work to do from the whole garden that never seems to get finished. But I love the work, having my hands stay busy makes me happy. Though I do try to slip out and spend time with my friends or my girlfriend, Amber. Of course, she’s usually out with her band practicing, or just hanging out with her other girlfriend, Victoria, who sings in the band. With me heading out early in spring to help pollinate, we often don’t see each other until the sun’s almost down. But I look forward to it every single day.

But that’s my usual day. Today? Today felt different from the moment I woke up. Glancing out the window, it was looking like some pretty bad storms were rolling in from the distance. I’d have to stay in, it’d be too dangerous to fly around, and – I still really hate thunder. I’d have to start looking for my antennae covers so I won’t have to stress about hearing it. The frustrated groan I let out at the distant rumbling told all and was met with a surprising “well, glad you’re finally up,” from the living room.

I looked at the clock and – Wait, what? It was midday already? I slept in? I never sleep in. Walking into the living room I saw Amber sitting on the couch noodling some notes on her bass and writing things down on a notepad. She gave me the damndest smirk once she noticed me in the room, and I couldn’t help but blush and try to hide away. “Breakfast is on the table, but I’m sure it’s already cold by now. I was hoping to surprise you this morning with it.” she said, her attention going back to the music she was writing.

“O-kay?” I stammered, “I’m surprised you’re still here. I thought you loved storms like this?”

“Everyone else in the band’s busy, and I’ve got a few songs for our next set to write out,” she said, turning over another page and continuing to write.

I walked over to the kitchen table, and there I saw both our spots at the table set with plates full of food. Did she really go through all the trouble of cooking this morning if she wasn’t going to eat it? I had to have been standing there for quite some time, I was still waking up and the confusion of the ready-to-eat table settings left me even more in a daze. That daze was instantly uprooted by a bright flash that looked like it had been right outside the window, and I could feel every inch of my body coil up. I braced for the inevitable

BOOM!

I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking, nor the rest of my body from locking up. Seconds passed that felt like an eternity, and only a very distant rumble made its way to the garden. I began to let out a very pained sigh of relief, as two arms found their way around my shoulders. “Shhh… It’s okay. I’m here.” Amber said, in the softest voice she possibly could.

I let my arms meet hers, grabbing them firmly as I did my best to calm down. My labored breathing started to slow as she kissed the top of my head, each one sending a newer, more calming wave of comfort all the way down my body. “I heard that it was probably going to be a really bad storm outside today, so I decided to stay home,” she said, slowly swaying the both of us from side to side.

She held out her hand, showing my antennae covers, which I quickly grabbed and slipped on to muffle the outside storm. “S-sorry..” I struggled to say, “I-if I had known you w-were going to cook I’d h-have woken up t-t-to eat with you..”

“Hey, hey,” she shushed me again, “it’s alright. Take a deep breath, it’s all going to be okay.”

I did my best to nod, every breath becoming easier and easier as she slowly walked us to the table, pulling out my chair and gesturing to me to sit in it. “I turned off your alarm for a reason, but I didn’t expect you to sleep so long,” she said with another smirk, “this was supposed to be a nice surprise for you when you woke up, and now it’s all cold!”

“It’s still very nice of you, Amber,” I said, hiding my face again, “thank you.”

That damn smirk of hers, it always gets me, even at my lowest. Even if she didn’t spend the last few minutes grounding me, just a quick smile from her would melt all the worries away. She gets a certain glint in her eyes when she’s happy, it’s almost as if stars fell from the sky and landed right into each one. And those lips, soft, warm, irresistible, and – “Uh.. Darbee? Are you waiting on me to choke or something? What are you staring at me like that for? I promise. It’s not poisoned, just because I hardly cook, doesn’t mean I don’t know how,” Amber said, snapping me back into reality.

I was staring at her. I didn’t even realize. We’ve been together for so many months now, it shouldn’t be weird, right? Did I make everything weird today? She started giving me a very knowing glare, and then went back to eating. All I could feel was my face all flushed, as I started glaring at my food. I hadn’t even touched it, and she was almost finished. Taking in some much-needed deep breaths, I went ahead and started eating too. It was quiet for a while, up until Amber finished eating. She stretched as she got up, and went back into the living room to continue working. Meanwhile, I was still frozen with embarrassment.

The flashes outside started to build in both frequency and intensity, and the rumbling of thunder outside was getting louder, even through my covers. I suddenly didn’t want to be alone. Leaving my food and walking into the living room, there she was again. Going between playing a few notes and writing them down. She seemed lost in her work, as she often gets. She’s been the one writing all her band’s music since it was formed, before her own transition. Apparently, her lyrics started getting too obvious to everyone in the band except her. Things worked out nicely for her though, hormone therapy was exceptionally kind. Much kinder to her in some regards than it was with me, it’s hard not to feel jealous sometimes. She hadn’t gotten dressed and was still wearing her usual nightwear of yesterday’s shirt. Her hair was still a mess too. But honestly, the messy look suited her. – I guess I couldn’t help myself. I was staring at her again. At least this time she didn’t seem to notice. I really am hopeless sometimes, aren’t I?

My thoughts were halted by possibly the brightest flash of lightning so far, so bright it even seemed to catch Amber’s attention away from her music. My heart stopped as the sky tore open. The roar that followed shook our whole house; it was so deafeningly loud. You could feel the charge in the air that was left behind. Wherever it struck, it was close – and I was feeling every bit of it. I could feel the whole world collapsing in on me again, I couldn’t stop myself from falling into the couch. I couldn’t exactly control where I was falling, and I landed right onto Amber. She let out a quick yelp, as she wasn’t expecting me to plummet like I did, but it was far from a hard landing. Maneuvering her guitar down to the ground, she immediately adjusted and the back of my head was softly greeted by her hands.

The storm continued to rage on, but there didn’t seem to be a risk of another huge boom. I had all but shut down, the only thing keeping the whole world from caving in was her. Feeling her breathe, hearing her heart beating. It didn’t take much for me to feel safe in her arms, especially on a day like this. I was grasping at her collar as she gently ran her hand down my back. I couldn’t help my wings from twitching. It felt nice, and being this close to her was never a bad thing. Especially if it was helping keep me grounded. I’m not sure how long I laid there with her, minutes could have blended into hours for all I knew. I could only hope to lie there waiting for the storm to subside.

It was easier to ignore the storm the deeper I cuddled into her, at least that's what I was trying to tell myself. I just wanted to be closer to her today, we haven’t had time like this together in weeks. I had calmed down enough to be able to move again, and my breathing was settling down back to normal. Picking myself up enough to thank her for helping me again today, I was greeted by her warm smile. I guess it was her turn to be staring at me, she seemed to have been doing it for some time now. I lost track of how long I was laying on top of her. “Thank you,” I whispered, “today sucks.”

“Aww, breakfast wasn’t that bad, was it?” she teased, tugging on my shoulder.

I couldn’t help but giggle, “yeah, it was just a bit too salty today,” as I was lifting my head to better talk to her.

“I’ll just leave making everything too sweet in the mornings to you then,” she laughed, “I’m glad you’re feeling better. It sounds like the worst of the storm’s gone too.”

She was right, the rain had stopped assaulting the ground outside, and the thunder had finally gotten far enough away that I couldn’t hear it at all through my covers. I took off my covers and finished wiping my face. I didn’t realize how hard I had been crying. Amber gave me another warm smile, and I returned the favor. She started pulling me in close again, and I immediately went to rest my head on her chest again. I’m not sure what came over me, she’s been so soft and caring for me for the past while. But I couldn’t help myself, as I started gently biting above her collarbone. She let out a soft gasp as I did, and I felt compelled to move up. She honestly looked surprised when our eyes met. She had a lot planned today, I guess this wasn’t on the list.

I let myself get closer. It was like gravity was pulling me in, and I was letting it win. Letting my hand rest along her cheek, I slowly leaned in to kiss her. Too slow for her, I’m assuming, as she started gently pulling me in with her hand at the base of my neck. She had a lot planned today, I guess this was her changing plans. She didn’t waste any time overriding gravity and making our lips meet.

Kissing her melted away every remaining bit of anxiety and tension the storms had given me. Feeling her hands run through my hair and all the way down me, I couldn’t stop myself from swaying while on top of her. A soft, silent dance to the cadence of the moment. Pushing myself up just enough to see her face again, she was giving me that same damned smirk again. “Hi,” she said softly.

Her eyes pierced right through me, making me feel weak. She clearly wanted control over the situation, part of me wanted to give it to her. Another part of me though? Didn’t. I saw some faded marks on her neck. Tori always leaves a few when she and Amber have their nights together. I don't get jealous, but nothing else could really describe how I felt seeing them. I needed to leave some of my own. The moment my teeth met her skin, she let out a very audible sound of surprise crossed with pleasure. “Hi,” I smirked, letting the moment take over me.

The look in her eyes changed, almost as if she wasn’t expecting this from me. I went back to her neck to give it more attention, I didn’t quite leave the mark I wanted to. So I tried again, and again. Each time leaving a soft kiss behind. Her hands were firmly holding me close to her, her fingers gently clawing into my back. I couldn’t help my wings from twitching, I was feeling my whole body start to warm up. Firmly grabbing me, she pulled me in for another kiss. I went to adjust to better get on top of her and – miscalculated. I found myself staring at the ceiling. I lay there in shock hearing Amber’s uncontrollable laughter. Of course, I had to slip and fall right off of her! My whole body was still warming up, but for entirely different reasons now. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so embarrassed before!

After picking myself up, she helped me onto the couch again. “I’m sorry,” she said, laughing still, “you should have seen the look on your face when you fell!”

I could only glare at her, I was too embarrassed to talk. “Oh, come on, don’t pout,” she said, gently putting her hand at my cheek, “you’d be laughing at me too if you saw the face you just gave me.”

My feelings of embarrassment quickly turned to defeat, though. I ruined the moment by being a complete klutz. This was the first time in weeks we’d shared time together like this, and I blew it! I wasn’t able to stop myself from tearing up through my pouting. Something Amber very quickly noticed. She did her best to wipe away some tears before trying to console me, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Lifting my head up slightly so we could see each other, I struggled to get words out through the lump in my throat that came about from my crying. “T-things have j-just been so busy lately. It feels like I n-n-never see you anymore. I-I miss you, and I was en-enjoying time with you. But I b-blew it!”

She started looking at me with the most bewildered face I’d ever seen her give, and then, she started laughing again! “Excuse me?” she asked between giggling.

“You take one spill and think you’ve ruined the moment? Seriously?” she continued.

“But I–” she interrupted me with a quick finger to my lips.

“I think I’d tell you if you did. So you fell, big deal,” she brought her hands back to the side of my face, leaning in to kiss me again.

“If you want more time with me, you just have to ask. You know that” she said, as she finished wiping tears from my face.

Afterward, she went to rub her neck and I could only think that I may have overdone things a little. “Like you could fully kill the mood after what you were just doing to me anyway,” she said with a quick wink.

With that, I broke again and started laughing too. “There they are, there’s that smile,” she always knew exactly what to say to cheer me up.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she said, standing up with a stretch, “I think I’ve earned a bit of quiet time in bed. That is unless you have – other – ideas?”

I felt my heart quickly jump back to where it was just moments ago, once again being compelled to be close to Amber. Before she managed to walk away, my arms were wrapped around from behind her. I gently nuzzled into her shoulder, “I have plenty of ideas,” I said, my voice slightly muffled by her shirt.

“I can’t wait to hear all of them,” she smiled, grabbing my hands and walking us to our room.

I found myself slowly swaying the both of us as we went, our dance continuing. The best thing you can do on weird, bad days, is to end them early. And this? I could always end a day like this.

We were supposed to be rehearsing. But there I sat for almost two hours waiting for everyone else to show up. I took the time to noodle out some practice, one of us had to at least. Claire and Nick are usually here before me, I was starting to get anxious. At least Tori is always late, but never this late. “■■■■■,” I said to myself, “are ya sure you just weren’t stupid and showed up the wrong day like last time?”

“No, you’re right where I want you!” a voice said, from behind me.

I barely had any time to put my bass down before Tori leapt over the couch and on top of me. “I guess it’s good I gave you a key to my place, you can get away with being here early all you want,” she said, coyly tapping at her wrist.

Early? Seriously? Checking my phone confirmed it. Throwing my head back into the couch cushions was all I could do. It’s not like I could hide the embarrassment on my face either. Tori made sure of that by keeping her weight firmly on my arms. The best I could do at this point was try to play it off. “Well, I figured it’d be nice to actually have the door unlocked this time. So you’re not having to explain why you lost your keys to everyone.”

“Oh, shush. That only happened the one time,” she leaned closer to kiss me, “okay, three times but who’s counting? Now get that smug look off your face.”

After a while, she got comfortable on top of me and rested her head just below my collarbones. I could feel her take her hands and start tapping her fingers up and down my sides before trying to get under my shirt. “Hey, careful, what if the others walk in?” I said, calmly grabbing her arm.

“Then they’d be in for one hell of a show, you know Claire would love to watch,” she said giggling, “Besides, they’re not coming today. Told them I wanted some time with you – alone.”

“We have a big show coming up, Victoria. We need to practice, not just have –” she put her finger at my lips.

“None of that today, okay? I’m joking. If I wanted sex I’d have asked yesterday,” she said getting up and sitting on the chair next to me, “This is something different. We need to talk, and Nicky and Claire both agreed it’s something you and I need to talk about alone.”

“What?”

I was confused, what did she mean? Talk about what? Taking a deep breath, she picked up one of the spirals I had been writing all of our music for the next set in. “It’s – This.”

“Oh, come on!” I started to get really defensive, “You can’t just suddenly say my music’s terrible, I’ve been writing for us since we got the band together.”

“It’s not that, it’s just –”

“Just what, Tori?”

“Hey, calm down. It’s not anything about how good it is or not. It’s about what you’ve written so far in general,” she started, “see, I showed it to Gwen, and –”

“Why’d you show it to her? She’s not in the band and you two only just started dating. I told you I don’t want anyone just–”

“■■■, look. I told you, we’ve known each other a while already. She’s not ‘just anyone,’ and she – She said some of what you were writing was like a cry for help. Now, I know you like to write about what’s going on inside your head, but –”

“Not this again, Tori. I told you the last time, I have my low days and I promised I wouldn’t write anything too dark again on those days.”

She sat back, looking at me. Hand on her chin, clearly thinking of some way to say what she needed to say. I took the opportunity in the silence by grabbing my guitar and setting it down by the couch. Then I went about picking up my other spirals I had been writing music in, save for the one Victoria had been holding firmly to her chest. It was my scratch one, where I’d throw random phrases and verses to see if any stuck well enough to flesh out fully. I wasn’t sure if there was really anything in there worth the worrying look she had on her face as I was putting the other notebooks in my bag. By the time I sat down again, she was biting her finger, which usually meant she had worked through all she needed to say. It also meant I wasn’t going to be able to get around it, so I’d better just listen.

“See, ■■■■■ – Over the past few weeks, everyone’s noticed you’ve been acting a little – weird. I tried to laugh it off with them like, ‘oh it’s just his usual time of the month to be down, it’s normal,’ but then –” she adjusted and was looking me dead in the eyes, “you met Gwen, right after I started dating her. And I started to see it too.” 

I adjusted to meet her gaze, still wholly confused as to what she was talking about. Or what this had to do with Gwen. Opening the notebook she started flipping back and forth through the pages until she found what she was looking for. “There, ‘I see myself in the window, but I don’t recognize her face. I bang from the inside, can she even hear me?’ It’s that that caught her attention.”

“Nothing in that one’s finished, you know how my scratch book is,” I tried to explain.

“Yeah, which makes it the rawest of your thoughts you write out. I also know you, ■■■. You throw all your feelings, thoughts – and wants – in our songs sometimes,” she said.

“Oh. That’s what this is? Hey, you told me it was cute confessing to you like that, especially when you didn’t realize until we were in the middle of the song on stage,” I said with a smirk, “but that doesn’t mean I feel like that with Gwen. Yeah she’s really pretty but she’s your girlfriend not mine.”

“No, that’s not what this is. Did you really just ignore what I just read out to you? What you wrote?” she asked, pointing to the stanzas again, “like, ‘I break through the glass, I’m falling free. But I don’t see a safe way down. Who will I be when I hit the bottom?’ You wrote that after you met with her, right?”

I was doing all I could to keep from getting frustrated, it’s like she thought she was being obvious but I just couldn’t see what she was getting at. “Okay? Yeah. I wrote that after you introduced me and talked with her, I don’t know what that has to do with anything?”

“Clearly what you both talked about sat with you, hun. She says it did with her too, she said people don’t usually talk to her about transition stuff like that,” Tori continued, placing her hand on mine in a bid to help calm me down.

I guess she could tell I was getting frustrated. Sometimes I wish people would just say what they want to say outright, trying to piece together what they mean is a chore. I hate getting frustrated at her too. “You wanted me to get to know her, and she’s the first person like her I’ve ever met, so –”

“Get to know her like, her favorite food or movie or some shit like that. Not what it’s like to be the way she is,” she cut me off, grabbing my hand fairly tight, “She said it felt like when you two were talking – well, like you were jealous of her.”

“Well, excuse me for not quite being used to the idea of you dating other people yet, especially when it’s somebody I’ve never met, but you’ve known for years,” I huffed, “but I’m not jealous that she’s with you.”

“That – isn’t what I meant. Yeah, I knew her years ago, but that was before I got to actually know her ,” she paused, biting her finger again being careful not to nip herself with her fangs.

“Okay, so what do you mean? I don’t get what the big deal is?” I asked.

“Why… Did you ask her those personal questions? Can you tell me that?”

“I don’t know, I guess they’re the first ones that went into my head for me to get to know her,” I was trying to piece together my thoughts, but it felt like there was a growing panic, pounding away in my chest where my heart was supposed to be.

It was getting distracting, I couldn’t quite keep my thoughts together. Why was I panicking? Why was she asking all these questions? I thought she wanted to talk with me, not interrogate me. I didn’t know what all of this was about. What was wrong with the things I asked Gwen? I thought I was supposed to get to know her? I didn’t really put much thought into asking her what it was like for her to be trans. I’d never met anyone who was trans before. The pounding in my chest just kept getting louder. 

“Do you remember what you said about her when we got home that night?” Tori continued, grabbing my hand a little harder from seeing my growing distress.

“Yeah? I said I liked her, she seemed real. Like you’d both be good together.”

“Okay. – What about her made her feel ‘real’ to you?”

“I guess – Her confidence? The way she understood herself. In a way I never really have.”

“Can you say that last one again for me?” Tori said, giving my hand a quick squeeze.

“She understood herself in a way I –”

Oh.

The panic I was feeling felt like it exploded and ran all throughout my body, I could feel my antennae burning. If I was standing I would probably fall over. Victoria almost immediately switched to sitting on the couch next to me. Her hand met my back, gently rubbing between my wings and trying to keep me calm.

“Hey, hey, ■■■■■? Can you breathe for me, please?”

I was struggling to keep my thoughts together, I took the deepest breath I could manage. “So what, this whole time today we are talking is because you think I might be – trans too? W-What?”

“Maybe not, Gwen only wanted me to talk to you if it felt like a possibility. After seeing what you were writing lately, yeah I started to feel like maybe –”

“Again?” I cut in, interrupting her, “There you go again talking about the music. What do you mean?”
“Who’s perspective did you write this from exactly? Yours? Like a lot of the other ones in the scratch book?”

“I mean – Yes, but –”

“And why did you write it specifically from ‘ her ’ perspective?” she asked, pushing the topic further.

“Well – You’re the one singing, and I –” I was struggling to even speak at this point.

“But I change all that stuff when I’m the one singing, remember? Nick sings too, right?” Tori was looking at me with the softest eyes I’d seen in a long while, “Shh, hey, there’s nothing wrong with it if you are, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I promised you I’d always be by your side.”

I ran out of breath again, I stopped being able to think. It’s like somebody had instantly finished building a wall inside of my head. Everything I tried to say after that just was lost. But her hand stayed firm on my shoulder. I looked at her, hoping there might be some answer. Something, anything that I could possibly say. But that panicked feeling overwhelmed me. It was terrifying. “Oh God…”

I felt paralyzed at that moment, Tori was just looking at me softly still. Putting her hand against the side of my head, letting her fingers run through my hair. “I can’t tell if you’re thinking this through, or just can’t think at all,” she said with a bit of a smile.

“I don’t know what to think, Tori…”

“Then tell me how you’re feeling, hun? Let’s work through it together.”

“Everything just suddenly feels wrong, and I – feel wrong,” I wasn’t even sure of the words coming out of my mouth.

I started collapsing into my hands but Tori kept holding my head up, now with both of her hands. “That’s okay, I’m here. We can figure out and try what feels right,” she said, making sure our eyes could meet, ''if that’s what you want?”

Nodding was the best response I could give her. It felt like my mouth was glued shut, and every breath I was trying to breathe escaped before it could form words. Tori was doing everything she could to help me feel safe, both with how soft she was holding my head up and the tone of her voice. She was always good at making me feel safe, but this felt different. Then again, everything felt different. What felt right to even try? What options were there?

“Ah, there it is. Your thinking face, I thought you’d left the building for a while there,” Tori giggled, interrupting my thinking, but I couldn’t help but laugh a bit myself.

“There’s my girl, there’s that smile.”

That did it. It felt like a knife flying to my heart to cut it free from being tied down. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I started crying. “I mean,” she said wiping the tears from my face, “if you want to be? I thought I’d try it and see if you liked it.”

It was like I could suddenly breathe again. It felt like everything was finally falling into place with just those two words, ‘her girl.’ – Me? It couldn’t just make sense like that, right? Girl. I liked that. A lot.

“Well? I mean this could all just be a bunch of nonsense and I’ve made you cry for no reason, or maybe it’s not exactly ‘girl’ and I should have tried something somewhere in the middle first,” she was starting to ramble, “I mean, it’s not like it would change anything either way, hell you’re already wearing my shirt as it is. I never cared that you’d steal them from time to time, they do look good on you already and –” I think my deluge into self discovery might’ve made her self-conscious, and maybe a bit embarrassed. 

She stopped talking when I grabbed both her hands with mine. I was finally feeling the strength to talk again. “Yes, I’d like that,” I managed to let out through tears.

“Oh, thank God. I thought you’d just sit there like a fossil stuck in amber all day,” she said, heaving a sigh of relief, “I was getting worried I’d broke you.”

“That.”

“What? Right. I know, you probably feel stuck right now in general. But I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. Nothing has to be different yet if you don’t want it to.”

“No. ‘Amber.’ I like that. Can – Can we try that?”

“Yes. Yes we can,” she said, as she started to cry herself.

We cried and held each other for what felt like hours, the both of us falling asleep on the couch. I always hated sleeping on the old thing, but somehow I ended up having one of the most restful nights of my life. No amount of back pain I’d be feeling the next day could compare to how I was feeling inside. Finally having a sense for something I didn’t even know I needed, I was ready for whatever came next.

It’s not uncommon for me to come home covered in pollen after a long day’s work. All of it is almost impossible to dust off some days. Especially near impossible to wash out of my hair, but I still manage to do so after a lot of extra scrubbing. It’s even worse to get out of my clothes. Some days I just figure it’s easier to just throw it all on the floor in mine and Amber’s room, and put it in the wash later. Which is exactly what I do. After that, I check to see if I’ve got any new workshop orders. Today I didn’t, which meant I could just wash off and crash for a few hours. I was so excited, I would have danced then and there if I had the energy. Sadly, all the energy I had left this afternoon would instead be spent getting clean from the stubborn mess of pollen all over me.

I started walking through the bedroom into the bathroom, tossing my clothes behind me as I went. I’d pick them up later. It was kinda cold in the apartment, but I didn’t mind. A little shake, stretch, and hot shower would keep me warm. I ended up catching a glimpse at myself in the mirror while stretching. I usually avoid mirrors the best I can, but something about the bee looking back at me made me smile. By this point it'd been a good year and ten months since I made the decision to start hormones, and all the changes I had seen so far were still amazing to me to this day. All except – the one area I wish would show a bit more change – I huffed at my reflection, cupping my breasts in my hands. I tried to lean in and squeeze them together a bit. But I was met with stabbing pains. I over-corrected my momentum and bumped my elbow into the sink top. Sending extra force onto one of my breasts. “Ow!” I shrieked.

The same usual pain I’ve felt since I started hormones. Everyone always tells me all that pain means they’re growing. I’m struggling to believe it. I just wish they’d grow more. No sense moping, I figured. I got the water running for the shower, making sure it was nice and hot just how I like it. Stepping in I felt an immediate change in both my body and my mood. As all the stress from the day melted away like wax dripping from a candle.

I let myself stand there enjoying the water for a while. I could get away with spoiling myself with an extra long shower today, right? All the pollen from today was just that stubborn. That would be my excuse if anyone asked, even if a majority of it had already rinsed off of me. The rest, which was firmly stuck in my hair from what I could feel, would need a bit of extra time anyway.

A noticeable amount of time had passed by the time I felt satisfied getting clean and pollen free. I began bracing myself for the cold as I shut off the water. Stepping out of the shower, I realized I didn't even get a change of clothes ready. I groaned at my own pratfall in forgetting something so simple. Honestly at that point I had lost whatever energy I had to get dressed anyway. The bed was feeling like a magnet and all I wanted to do was let myself get pulled in. It was still barely past midday. But all I wanted to do was sleep, and spoiling myself with a nap couldn't hurt. Right? I could reward a hard day’s work by wrapping myself up in my blankets, and nodding off to sleep. Which is exactly what I did. I don’t remember the last time I drifted off to sleep that quickly, but it was very welcome.

Unfortunately, breaking my deep slumber was Amber abruptly flopping onto the bed – hard. She must have not known I was under all the blankets, I guess I had been in bed a lot longer than I usually am for naps. The both of us letting out a quick scream mixed with terror and pain, she followed slightly panicking with “Oh my God, Darbee? I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were in bed this early!”

“It’s okay – I’m okay.” I said groggily, attempting to sit upright at the same time, “The heck are you doing here, Amber? I thought you were gonna stay at Tori’s tonight?”

“I forgot a change of clothes so I wanted to come back here to get them really quick, and she just texted me that something else came up and she had to cancel on me,” she said, flopping onto the bed and almost taking me down with her as she went.

“Well if you want to call it an early day then I’d like to get back to sleep,” I said, tugging in an attempt to wrestle the blankets from under her.

She didn’t budge aside from adjusting to look straight at me, then a little down, then back up with a smirk. “Looks like I’m not the only one who forgot a change of clothes,” she giggled.

It took a bit for me to realize what she meant, only just remembering that I had crawled into bed naked. I tried to pull at the blankets again to cover myself to no avail. She choked on a laugh and got up for a quick second to let me have the blankets, which she adjusted herself under with me. She started gently tracing my sides with her finger. “Oh come now, don’t be embarrassed. I don’t mind you in bed like this, you know that.”

I could feel my face flush near instantly, between the tone of her voice and the way her eyes stayed well away from my own. She was giving my whole body that damned smirk of hers, and she knew I could tell. “W-well if you don’t mind then I guess I’ll j-just lie down,” I was stammering again, damn it.

“Then I guess I’ll just hold you, since you’re so set on an ‘early day,’” she knew exactly what she was doing as she said that.

In an attempt to hide my bright red face, I laid down and turned away from her. I heard her huff lightly and sigh. After a short while of catching my breath, I was met with Amber’s arm reaching over me as she pulled me in gently. I let out an audible yelp when her skin touched mine, she was so freezing cold and – Naked? Did she really take the time to–? She didn’t give me much time to keep my thoughts together as she started holding me tighter, resting her face at the nape of my neck. Her breath sent a shiver down my body, despite it being warmer than the whole of her body. “H-Hi – Hi there,” I murmured out.

“Hi,” she said softly, pulling herself in closer, “it’s very warm in here. How are you not overheating?”

She took to nuzzling into me from behind, her breasts pressing firmly against my back as her hands began to wander across my sides again. “Ah-Amber…” I gasped, my whole body starting to quiver.

“Oh? What is it, Sweetbuzz?” she said, wrapping her still cold arm between my breasts.

“Y-you’re r-really cold today…” I said, trying to keep my body’s swaying in check while I was in her arms.

“Well it’s a good thing my girlfriend’s a nice pocket heater, isn’t it?” she giggled, giving me a gentle squeeze.

“You’re so mean!” I cried, hugging her arm tight.

“Aww, how am I being mean today? I only want to stay warm,” She said, having the audacity to start gently rubbing between my breasts with her thumb.

“T-tha – aahn!” I could barely keep any composure at this point, I needed her.

“I’m sorry. Should I stop? I know you really like your naps, it’s up to you,” she whispered into my ear as she started gently tracing her fingers around my breast.

Okay, that’s it, she wins. Or does she? I did my best to roll over without giving her a face full of hair and wings. She had the biggest smirk on her face I had seen in a while, but she also couldn’t hide her own face being beet red too. I don’t think she expected me to turn over just yet? It didn’t matter, my hands found themselves on her cheeks. So far the only warm part of our bodies that were touching. I went in for a deep, passionate kiss and she reciprocated by wrapping both her arms around my neck and keeping me close. I started tracing up and down her sides, all along the bright purple markings that went down past her hips. We kept making out as she started to audibly react to me tracing her figure. Pausing the make out session for just a moment to breathe, our eyes locked. I could tell there was a mutual yearning as our foreheads gently pressed against each other. She kept gasping, letting out soft moans as she nudged my head up with hers, and started to kiss me from the top of my neck to the middle of my chest. “I’ll consider that permission to keep going,” she said looking up at me.

I nodded as she cupped one of my breasts in her hand, and started carefully biting on the other. I winced, they were still so sore. Taking notice, she stopped right away. “No, no. It’s okay, Amber. Keep going, please?” I asked, moving her hair from her eyes and kissing her forehead.

My more explicit consent must have given her a rush of confidence, without hesitation she continued, pulling me closer with a firm hand on my back. She took to kissing across my breasts going from one to the other, before leading into a soft bite on each of my nipples. Every breath escaping my lungs was ladened with soft tones of pleasure, and she was loving every second. I was too. My breasts were still sore but – I could barely focus on that. Any pain I could be feeling was being eclipsed by the waves Amber was causing across my body.

My back buckled, and my hip firmly went into her tummy. My leg wrapping across her sides was met with her hand gliding across my thighs. She started moving up again and started leaving her marks just under my collar and the lower half of my neck. I couldn’t help but grip on to her tighter, my fingers digging firmly into her back. This made her buckle in closer too, nearly screaming. I guess my nails had gotten pretty long lately, not that she was ever going to complain about that. The only way we could be any closer at this point was for us to be inside of each other.

Pulling away for the briefest of moments so the both of us could breathe, she went right back to kissing me, the both of us gently biting each other’s lips. By now I was grateful we didn’t have neighbors living nearby. I started pushing against her shoulder hoping she’d understand the hint that I wanted her on her back. I wanted nothing more than to return every favor she had given me today and then some if I could. Thankfully she did, and I found myself straddling her hips right away as we both adjusted positions. It was hard to ignore her more than obvious excitement greeting me from behind, but I managed. I wanted to admire the beautiful woman in front of me. Her infuriatingly perfect, perky breasts. The way her purple markings almost look like they were flowing like water along her arms and sides. The dots of almost neon bright freckles across her skin. Her soft, irresistible skin that twitched as I was running my hands along her body. Seeing somebody who can take all control away from you with one well timed smirk look so vulnerable can do wild things to the mind. Her eyes were screaming ‘please,’ and I could only hope I could get her body screaming ‘thank you.’

I took both her breasts in my hands, taking note of how her shoulders were rising up and almost helping me tease her chest more. I stopped and arched myself along her body, running my nose up from her navel to her collarbones. Her hands were still running along my sides, she wasn’t freezing anymore, having stolen enough of my heat, jerk. 

Tracing my figure like she was sent even more shivers down me. My lips were quivering, but I did my best to start kissing her neck. Her hands found their way to my shoulders again and started holding on to me tight. She always likes to remark about how she can’t really sing, but at this moment I could swear she was gasping out the most beautiful song into my antennae. It only got louder as I started to bite into her neck. I didn’t want to leave too many marks, Victoria needed space for some too after all, a good metamour deserves just as much sometimes. I figured a few from me would be enough for today before trailing down her body once again.

Her fingers started digging into my back just the same as mine did hers moments ago when my lips met her breast. It wasn’t so bad, until she started scratching my back. Hard. I was taken by surprise and it made me bite down a lot harder than expected. “Aaaahn! Shit! Ow!” she yelped, or moaned? 

I couldn’t exactly process the noise she just made as I immediately shot up, and began hovering just over her. “Oh my – Amber! I’m so sorry!” I cried, wiping a bit of drool from my cheek. 

She started laughing, meanwhile I was just left with this look of pure worry that I hurt her biting as hard as I did. Looking up at me while rubbing her breast she took a big breath, “that. Hurt!” and continued to giggle.

“I’m so so sorry!” I kept repeating my apology.

Taking me by the hands and pulling me back down into a warm embrace with her demeanor changing. “That – Also felt really good,” she said with a slight shiver, “don’t be sorry.”

Throwing her head back onto the bed, taking me with her and into her arms. “Jeesh, Darbee. You’re lucky you don’t have fangs or Tori’d be really jealous about my new bite marks,” she said while caressing my head.

I looked at her confused, then I looked up and down her body where I had been leaving marks, and I could tell the one just now on her breast would be the darkest out of all of them. If she was the kind to walk around topless I’d bet money that it’d be so dark that in contrast to the rest they’d be invisible. I was left feeling so bad! But Amber just laid there holding me as if I didn’t just seriously hurt her. “But I – But –” I tried to stammer out my confusion, but she cut me off and started kissing me.

“Shh, it’s okay. I do think I’m going to need a second before I can help you finish too. I know I like it a little rough but you really need to warn a girl next time,” she said, giving another smug look my way.

“H-hey! You’ve never scratched like that before! Maybe you should be the one warning me, you jerk!” I huffed.

Wait, ‘finish too?’ Did she really? Did I? Oh! I felt my face start to flush again as I started putting my face firmly into her chest again. This time, only to hide. She had plenty of cleavage to hide in anyway. I’d never gotten her to finish so quickly, and I didn’t expect it to be an accident! I didn’t even notice given how quickly I flew up away from her. I’ve been sitting here worried she was mad at me for being too rough and now I had this overwhelm of feeling stupid. “C-careful there, I’m still a bit sensitive,” she said, her thumb rubbing my shoulder.

I took that as the call to start adjusting so I could lay into her better, with one arm resting across her tummy I got comfortable right under her arm. I’m not quite sure how long I laid there embarrassed by myself, but she didn’t seem to notice. In fact – she had fallen asleep. Maybe I was just silly for being embarrassed? Especially with all the evidence of a job well done right in front of me. “I guess I’ll have to wait for my turn later,” I whispered, pulling the blankets over the both of us.

“Looks like I’m getting my early day after all.”

I don’t get very many days off, “busy as a bee” doesn’t justify exactly how busy it is sometimes. It’s bad enough that I often take on too many workshop orders, but late Spring is really important for the harvest festival to go without any problems. Nevertheless me and my cousins always manage to come out of Spring okay. Earning quite a lot of free time in the process.

For me, free time is best spent with friends. We all usually take turns deciding what we all do together, and today it was my cousin, Beatrice’s turn to decide. She enthusiastically asked all of us on a big shopping day. Which I gleefully agreed to, since I was needing new clothes anyway.

I awoke to a gentle knock on the door. Amber started stirring too, but once she noticed I was the one awake, she adjusted back into bed and quickly fell back asleep. I gave her a gentle kiss, and got out of bed. It was kind of cold for a morning in spring, but that was because I was still naked from the day before. Taking one of Amber’s overshirts from the floor to cover myself up, I went to check the front door. I did my best to gently crack it open to peek out, but was met with an excited “Darbee!” as Beatrice jumped at me with a hug almost taking the both of us to the ground.

“Trix, h-hi to you too! – The door’s wide open!” I screamed, further covering myself in the hope nobody was flying by.

“Oh, wow. I’m so sorry!” she said, covering her mouth as she got out of the way letting me close the door.

“In my defense, how was I supposed to know you were gonna open the door naked?” she asked, crossing her arms with a slight pout.

“By not barging in when I crack the door open? You goofball. You could have hurt the both of us,” I said, still making sure Amber’s shirt was covering me.

“Look, please just sit down, I’m going to get dressed then we can go meet everyone at the Flats, okay?” I said, pointing to the couch.

I walked back to mine and Amber’s room to get dressed, leaving Beatrice softly humming to herself on the couch. Beatrice is the kind of person that you need to take in doses, being extremely excitable over almost everything. Her gait is also just bouncy enough, it’s almost like she skips along everywhere she goes. A lot of her sisters call her Bubbles sometimes because of this, and it’s certainly an apt nickname.

In the time that I had almost been tackled at the front door, back in our room Amber had somehow ended up stretching out and taking up the whole bed. There was no way she was comfortable in the position she was sprawled out in, but she obviously was. I took some time to find a nice shirt to go under Amber’s. I don’t usually tie off outfits with anything of hers, but seeing as I was already wearing it what’s the harm, right? It by no means fit me, as baggy as it was on her, it could be worn like a dress on me if I really wanted to. Albeit though, it’d be a rather short dress compared to what I usually wear. It still smelled enough like her that I didn’t mind.

After some time had passed, I returned to the living room to see Beatrice herself had been in the kitchen helping herself to some of my treats. I didn’t mind, I let her do it often. Her sweet tooth was almost as bad as mine and us bees can practically taste sugar in the air sometimes. Nonetheless she seemed very happy to see me, as we both went on our way to the Flats.

The Flats, as most of the Garden had come to call them, was an enclosed group of tree stumps cut off at different heights and sections of. On them was a series of shopping centers, with stores of all kinds. We were greeted by the rest of our group, Antoinette, and Silvia, who were already sitting around at the top of one of the stumps on a bench, near the food courts. Antoinette, an Argentine ant was sitting around on her phone, probably talking to her younger sister. I was honestly surprised Vera wasn’t there, Enette’s sister is usually glued to her hip. Maybe she’s gotten old enough to not need a constant babysitter, I thought to myself. Silvia was also there, she was also a Honeybee, but she wasn’t from the Garden’s hive. She’s always been kind of secretive and avoidant about where she came from. Not that we minded, or ever felt like prying. 

“Took you long enough, it’s not that long of a flight is it?” Enette asked, her eyes not even looking up from her screen.

Antoinette is in the middle among her many sisters. Most of her older sisters were alates, which set her apart. Her lack of wings never seemed to bother her, well. Nothing ever really seemed to bother her at least from what any of us could tell. She spent a lot of her time at home, not having to work but instead taking care of her younger sister, Vera, while her mother did colony business. The two of them were usually inseparable otherwise because of how often they’ve spent together.

“Sorry! I didn’t think it’d take so long to get ready today,” I said, giving Trixie a knowing side-eye. 

She just nervously giggled, I had agreed not to mention that she got distracted and flew right into a small branch along our way to the Flats and fell all the way to the ground. She’s the epitome of klutz most days, and I’m often the one who has to help pick her up when she falls. There’s a shocking amount of Beatrice shaped holes around the Garden that we do our best to cover up or hide.

“Hmm,” Enette mumbled, as she went back to her phone. She started sipping on a cup of coffee beside her. She’s hardly ever seen without one, whether she has it from her personal flask of cold brew, or from the nearby coffee shop. There’s been days I’ve seen her with her own packets of instant coffee. 

“Oh, come now, Enette. We have all day. It’ll be fine,” Silvia said, standing up with a stretch, “Though I hope the fall today wasn’t too bad, Bea? You’ve got one hell of a bump on your forehead.”

Beatrice, letting out the squirreliest of squeaks, started hiding her forehead with her hands. Silvia couldn’t help but start laughing, and Enette just let out a soft chuckle. Silvia was one of the most observant people I’ve ever known. I’m not sure why, but she’d always notice even the most subtle out of place things about those around her, whether it’s emotional or physical. She’s always been one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and seeing as the both of us were outsiders welcomed into the Garden’s big Honeybee hive, it was only natural we’d be friends.

“Anyway, it’s your day to decide what we all do. Where do we start, Bubbles?” Silvia continued, as she and Enette came closer to the two of us.

Trixie started to tap her lips in thought, before nonchalantly blurting out “I don’t know!” in the most singsong way she could.

The three of us pretty much groaned in unison as she began standing on her tiptoes looking all over the different shops around the Flats. It took us a good while to even notice she had already walked a good distance away from us, she had done it so abruptly. Honestly, I was impressed she could even be so stealthy. “So,” I began, “how are the two of you today? It’s been a busy Spring so far. I don’t think we’ve had the chance to hang out since the solstice.”

“Oh, you know. The usual business around the Garden of making sure no flower’s left unloved for us bees. I think I saw you napping almost every day in the daisies, Darbee? Honestly I prefer the violets, they smell much better” Silvia said.

“Imagine having time to nap? You bees are lucky. Mom’s been busy trying to make quotas for the supercolony, so I’ve been having to spend even more time making sure Vera doesn’t destroy the place. While everyone else has been working well into the night. I’ve been getting even less sleep than usual,” Enette said with a yawn.

Her yawn was contagious, and I couldn’t help myself. “Speaking of, I’m surprised Vera’s not here with you today? Did any of your other sisters agree to watch her today?” I asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah nah. She has some alate-whatever princessy stuff to worry about today, Mom needed her,” she said between coffee sips.

It had been a solid while of non-stop walking and the three of us were just following Beatrice hoping she’d finally pick a store to go into. “Bea, where the heck are you going? I thought you wanted to shop, not drop from exhaustion?” Silvia asked, slightly annoyed, “You could at least slow down and talk with us too, y’know?”

“Yeah, Trix, I thought we were all supposed to be hanging out, not playing follow the leader,” I teased.

She stopped dead and went back to tapping her lips and standing up and down on her tiptoes, “Sorry! I guess I got carried away,” she said with a nervous giggle, “Oh! Darbee, you said you wanted new clothes, right? Why don’t we go try a bunch on?” she asked, her wings fluttering almost fast enough to take flight.

“Okay, but all the clothes shops are all on the other end of the Flats. We’ve been following you the complete wrong way for that, that’s a really long walk now,” Enette said, finally taking her eyes off her phone.

“Oh, it’s no big deal, Enette. I can always pick you up and carry you,” I said.

That was enough to get her to stop looking at her phone and give me a sharp glare, and I couldn’t help but laugh in response.

“Walking’s fine, I’ve got nothing better to do today, and I wanted to spend it with you all anyway,” Silvia said, “Of course if how long it’ll take to get to the other side of the Flats is a problem, Enette, I could always pick you up instead.”

“Or me! I’m very good at carrying things!” Beatrice exclaimed.

Enette just let out a large sigh, turning around and starting to walk towards the clothing stores. “I’ll be fine walking on my perfectly capable feet, thank you, you’re all more than free to join me.” 

“Whoops, did we touch a nerve there?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Silvia said, “she’s normally okay with jokes like that. Vera usually takes the first opportunity for any of us to fly with her since she can’t yet.”

“Maybe that’s the reason? She’s missing her baby sis? They’re never apart like this.” Beatrice added.

I shrugged and went to match pace with Enette, who had finally put her phone away and was staring at the ground as she walked. We all started chatting and talking about how our Spring had been going so far and it seems the most eventful it had been for any of us was Enette herself, who saw a lot of her older sisters leave the Garden to start their own colonies. A usual right of passage for alates. She didn’t say much beyond that, I wanted to speak up about it, but Silvia put a hand on my shoulder and motioned me to not say anything. I trusted her judgment on that. Beatrice took note too. If there’s one thing the three of us can understand, it’s the silent way we can still communicate with each other just by moving. It’s something all of us bees share that not many other bugs in the Garden pick up on.

Before long we had found our way on one of the connected stumps with clothing stores all along the edges. Some of the trees in the Flats were cut from the middle and still had supports that allowed the trees above to still grow, the grafting supports also had elevators to help anyone who couldn’t fly or climb on to different levels. Beatrice once again started skipping ahead, and entered one of the boutiques to enthusiastically look around for things to try on. “You all go ahead, I’m good today,” Enette said, leaning her back against the wall just outside of the boutique.

“Oh, heaven forbid you ever wear something other than a black hoodie and skinny jeans once in a while, Enette,” Silvia teased, walking inside.

“Pleaaaaaase, Enette,” I pleaded, “I’ve missed all of you, I don’t want you to be lonely out here.”

She peeked at me through one open eye. Did she really intend to nap the whole time we were shopping? Looking at how darker than normal the bags under her eyes were, part of me wondered if she’d need the nap and I felt a little bad. She smiled warmly, and started walking into the boutique herself, where Beatrice was already twirling around in a summer dress, not too dissimilar from the one she entered the store with, with a modest pile next to her ready to try on.

The boutique itself wasn’t that large, but it had plenty of clothes to choose from. It was honestly a little too bright for myself, so I wasn’t exactly sure what Enette would try on. I think it’d be interesting to see her in something bright for a change, but I guess we’d all have to be satisfied with her at least browsing today. Silvia, on the other hand, didn’t seem interested in trying on new clothes, but was primarily looking into new shoes. She was the tallest of the four of us, so it was always a little shocking to see her try on heels. 

Myself? I was sort of – stuck. For lack of a better word. I’d always freeze up looking for clothes before and early on in transition. Even now, as far in as I am? I still struggle to go into boutiques like this and try on clothes. I guess it helps that I wasn’t alone, also it’s not like anyone regularly clocks me too. But, unfortunately, that wasn’t going to stop me from freezing up and overthinking. It also helps that it was a very quiet day, and there didn’t seem to be anyone else but us, and the cashier, who looked like they were ready to fall asleep at any moment. 

I had to have been there a good while, because Enette’s hand found its way just below my wings, giving me a nice shock back to reality. “Darbee, are you okay? Did your brain fly into a zapper or something?” she asked, pulling in front of me.

“Hmm? Oh, hi, Enette.” I said, snapping back, “did you need my help trying anything on?”

“Uh, no. You just looked like a moth in fog lights, and I thought you needed some help,” she said, putting her hands on my shoulders.

“Heh – No I’m fine, thank you, Enette. I–”

“Daaa-haaar-beeeeee!~” I heard a voice coo from behind me.

Oh great. This again.

“Aaaand!~ DRESS ASSASSINATION!” Trixie gleefully screamed, pulling me from behind with a dress still on a hanger, letting it drape over the front of me by the collarbone.

“Hmm, not sure it’s their color, Bubbles. Maybe try something else?” Silvia said, peeking over one of the clothing racks. 

“Uh, guys..?” Antoinette tried to speak up, still trying her best to make sure I was okay.

And I was, all things considered. If I’m being honest, I think the pull back to reality was very much needed. This happens every time I go shopping with Trix. Even before I had come out to her, she had this almost instinctual “know,” and would always try to slide whatever dress she thought looked great on her, onto me. I’m not sure she expected the outcome when she first did it to me, but it’s been a tradition almost every time we go shopping together. Heck, even on days we aren’t anywhere near clothes she somehow sneaks a dress.

“Noooo I wanna see them wear it, they’ll look so cute!” she pouted, as she started to gently push me to get changed.

I gave a quick smile to Enette, who seemed to have gotten the memo that I was okay. She rolled her eyes, let out a sigh, and went back to lazily browsing through the store, occasionally checking her phone. I let Trixie guide me the rest of the way to the changing room, it felt like at any second she’d lift me up into the air by the hanger. Probably would not be the ‘dress assassination’ she was hoping for if that did happen. I made sure there was a hand firmly between the dress and my neck to minimize that risk even if it wasn’t going to happen.

“Trix, h-hey! Not so hard!” I exclaimed, as the two of us got closer to the changing room.

When she let go, I turned around holding the dress. She was just standing there with the brightest smile she’s had today. It took me a moment to realize she’d picked out a matching dress to the one she was already wearing. Again, a common trend when she picks dresses for me to try on. We looked really similar despite being as far removed cousins as we were, even more so than some of her other sisters. I understood that she wouldn’t stop glaring at me until I tried it on, so with a quick eye roll I turned around and entered the changing room. I could hear her giggle behind me, which I couldn’t help but smile at. She is infectious. It’s why you need to take her in doses, otherwise your heart might give out from the aura of giddiness she exudes.

I’ve honestly grown to enjoy how my body fits dresses now. It’s not like I had the most unfeminine figure before hormones, but honestly having more hips definitely helps. The dress Trixie picked wasn’t what I’d normally wear, but it was well within her usual attire. It had a nice rose pattern, and the red faded into black at the bottom, and was poofy on the top to help emphasize everything there. Not like Trixie needed emphasis up there herself, but I appreciated the assistance. The skirt of the dress was slightly pleated too, which really helped with shaping overall. It also gave it plenty of flow, it was really hard to not give a few spins in place to watch it twirl.

“Darbeee!!” I heard from outside of the curtains, “hurry uu-hupp! I want to see!”

“Okay, okay, Trixie! Hold on, one second,” I said, stepping out from the dressing room.

It wasn’t long before she started clapping happily, “I knew it! It looks great on you!” she exclaimed.

“See, Silvia. I knew it’d look great on them!” Beatrice said, grabbing me by the shoulders and pulling me in front of Silvia.

“Hmm, yeah I stand corrected. Red really is her color,” Silvia said, with a slight smirk.

I felt the moment hit me, and I decided to twirl around a bit, much to both of their amusement. Beatrice started twirling with me, and we both couldn’t help but giggle at each other’s antics. The fun moment was cut short, however, when I saw Enette sitting at the front of the boutique staring at her phone. I don’t think the three of us even noticed her shuffle there, but she was staring at it in horror. She looked at the verge of crying. It wasn’t long before it started buzzing, and she emphatically answered.

“Sí, ma? What?! – I mean, I don’t understand, isn’t she still just – Yes, mother. I – Claro. I’ll be home soon,” she said, hanging up, “damnit!”

Enette quickly got up and ran outside, and I began following but was stopped by a sharp “Darbee, wait,” from Silvia.

“But I–” I stammered, looking at her confused.

She motioned at me to turn around, as she ripped the tags off the dress I was wearing. “There, now go. I’ll drop your other clothes off at your house later. I’ll go ahead and buy this so you don’t get in trouble,” she said walking towards the counter.

“Right, sorry! Thank you, I’ll pay you back!” I said, before hurriedly running to find Enette.

She didn’t get far, and it wasn’t particularly hard to catch up with her. She never really was much of a runner, preferring to just walk instead. When I got close enough I could hear that she was crying between labored breaths. “Enette, wait I –” I said, reaching out my hand to her shoulder.

She swiftly turned and swatted my hand away. It hurt quite a lot, but the look in her eyes right after let me know she didn’t realize it was me. “Oh.. Darbee. I’m sorry I –” she said before just about leaping to me and holding me tight, “fly me home, please? I won’t be able to get there fast enough otherwise.”

I didn’t want to question her, the way she was looking into my eyes said it all. I had never seen her like this. Without saying a word I lifted her up and started flying to her colony. If I tried to say anything she’d probably start crying. I needed to be fast.

It wasn’t particularly easy flying like this, she was holding tight and it was a little uncomfortable. She was still trying not to get in the way of my wings, which I appreciated. It’s not like she needed to hold tight, I had her. But she wasn’t hiding very well that she had started crying, so I didn’t want to say anything.

I felt a tug on my shoulder, followed by a soft “Darbee?”

Her eyes were red, but she had mostly gotten herself together, but her voice was still extremely shaky. “She’s sending her away! She’s sending her away early!”

“What!?” I exclaimed, “Vera can’t even fly yet!”

“She knows, but..”

“Enette, why would your mom try to send her off early? It’s too dangerous for her to leave the garden, even with a royal party!” I continued to question and argue, but Antoinette just gripped my dress tighter.

I realized that in that second me also freaking out was doing the furthest thing from help. Taking in a deep breath and calming myself down, I noticed her looking back up at me. “It’s my fault, we had a fight last night and I–”

I stopped and cut her off. “No, it’s not. Whatever freak decision your mom’s making isn’t your fault, Enette.”

“No, you don’t get it, Darbee. She doesn’t like how close the two of us are, she never has. I wanted to take her with us today, and we fought about it,” Enette reinforced, “she was going on and on about commencement stuff and Vera’s royal duties and –”

Her voice had gotten stuck in her throat, and she just started crying again when she saw how close we were getting to her colony. “Look, Enette,” I started, “I’m sure we’ll be able to figure this out, don’t worry. She’s barely older than a pupa, she won’t be able to start her own colony for years.”

“She doesn’t want to do that though, that’s part of the problem. She’s watched all of her older sisters leave, and she’s scared. I tried to tell mother that, and –”

Both of our attentions were taken by an incoming “BIG SIS!” from our side, seconds later a small bug making a b-line straight towards us. I didn’t have time to react before we collided, and the three of us were sent hurling down to the ground below.

Getting up and rubbing my head, sure enough the first thing I saw when I reopened my eyes was Vera, Enette’s younger sister. She hadn’t wasted any time after tackling Antoinette and me to the ground. She was holding onto the poor girl for dear life, crying herself.  “H-hey, kiddo –” Enette said, strained.

“So much for not being able to fly,” I said, attempting to nurse a growing welt on my head, “If you could even call that flying.”

Vera only blew a raspberry at me in response, her eyes were more bloodshot than Enette’s. “She’s got the take off pretty okay, it’s everything else she’s been struggling with. Especially the landing.” Enette said, running her hands through Vera’s wavy hair. “Dale, hermanita, what’s the hurry?”

They were both rubbing their eyes, Vera very sniffly started saying “Mama’s upset and you weren’ home and she said I was supposed t’have comenciment next week like Clara and Lia did. But we haven’t seen either of them since they did their comenciments.” 

I could only understand a few words with how fast she was speaking, while Enette seemed to be able to understand her perfectly like she normally does.

Clara and Lia were two of Enette’s older sisters, princess alates who had already been sent off to run their own small colonies connecting her family’s massive supercolony. They left this spring, and the year before even more of her sisters left the same. She had cousins, siblings, niblings, you name it, all across the continent by this point. However, there seemed to be next to no contact after the point of them leaving after commencement. What good would sending Vera off so early do? She’s still so little and hasn’t even reached puberty and she was being given a commencement ceremony? Next week even? This was all so weird.

“Look, I’m just confused by all of this,” I started, “don’t you think maybe if we had a talk with your mom we can figure all of this out. It sounds like you didn’t have much of a discussion last night when you two argued, Enette.”

“Maybe? Like I said, she’s been extra stressed lately. I’m just as lost as you are in all of this,” she replied before hugging Vera tightly.

We both jumped as Vera shrieked in pain, and Enette let go immediately. Then, I saw it. Vera’s wing had torn in the fall. It didn’t look too bad, but it certainly looked painful. “Gosh,” I tried to take a closer look but Vera flinched before my hands even got near it.

“Oh, just great. Mama’s gonna flip about this,” Enette said, rummaging through her bag for a bandage, “do you wanna help me real quick with this, Darbee?”

Bandaging her wing didn’t seem to cause Vera too much pain, but she certainly wasn’t going to be able to fly any time soon. Or practice falling like she does, at least. Which meant whatever ceremonies she’d have to take part in wouldn’t be an option. I could only worry about what her mother was going to say. She might even blame me.

“Lucky you, chamita, looks like you’re gonna have to stay here until that heals,” Enette said, lifting Vera back up carefully, “Sí va, vaina, let’s go face the music. Mama’s gonna be upset you ran off like that. Though she might be even more upset with me since I’m such a ‘bad influence’ to make this happen.”

“Wait, she called you that?” I said with confusion.

“No. She did,” Enette said, poking Vera’s sides causing her to giggle.

Her giggling was contagious, and I found myself joining in. Instant regret quickly set in since my head was still reeling from getting knocked by Vera moments ago. It was a given we’d have to walk the rest of the way to Enette’s home, luckily it wasn’t that far at this point. We were walking fairly quietly the rest of the way, and I could feel a growing anxiety from both Enette and Vera.

“Darbee? I think it might be a good idea if you head home now. Thanks for getting me most of the way,” Enette said, giving me a worried look.

“Huh?” I wasn’t sure where that came from.

“Look, Mama only kinda likes you because you’re not some ‘total punk’ like your girlfriend. I don’t want to risk any blame being put on you for Vera getting hurt,” she explained.

“What? After all that? It’s not either of our fault. I want to help with this,” I pleaded.

“Look, I get that you like to try and find ways to help when you think there’s going to be problems, but it’d be easier if I handled this. I’d rather you not get caught up in my mother’s bullshit right now with how high-strung she’s been.” 

I knew at this point there was not talking her down, Enette was as stubborn about stuff like this. Truth be told, from what she just said, it sounded like she was not so subtly trying to tell me I was only going to get in the way and exacerbate things. Which is always the last thing I want. “Okay, I guess I’ll let you take it from here. But please keep me updated on what’s going on?”

She nodded, and I let the two of them go on ahead. I went about finding somewhere nearby to sit down and get myself together. My headache had only gotten worse, and sitting down was the only thing that made sense to ease the pain. I started reaching into my pock– wait, this dress doesn’t have pockets. I let out a loud groan that made Enette in the distance stop and turn back for a second. All my stuff would have to be back at mine and Amber’s home by now, if Silvia brought it back.

Swallowing what little was left of my pride I started the trip home. I was hoping for a nice calm day and all I got out of it was a dress covered in dirt and a welt on my head. While not being the worst day I’ve ever had, I’m glad I could help Enette at least. The whole flight home, my mind was on Enette, I don’t think I’d ever seen her like that. I was worried, but I couldn’t check on her until I got to my phone. 

Outside on our balcony was a bag from the boutique the three of us were shopping at earlier in the day, with a note from Silvia saying “you’re welcome, you owe me.~” I shuffled through to find my keys, only to be met by an already unlocked door. Amber was already inside, having moved everything off of the coffee table in front of the couch with a guitar laying across it.

“Oh, hey, babe,” she said without taking her attention away, “welcome home. Silvia said you might be a bit.”

“Yeah, I – Wait isn’t that?”

“Tori’s guitar? Yes.”

“And she’s letting you touch it?”

“After Nick thought it’d be funny to snap a few of her strings trying to tune it today, she’s letting me put new strings on.”

I was on autopilot by this point, sliding onto the couch and resting my whole head on Amber’s shoulder. I must have dozed a bit because the next thing I know I’m falling into the cushions while she got up to put the guitar back in Tori’s case. “I’ll let her tune it, she’d had enough of other people getting that thing so high-strung it snaps without warning.”

“High-strung? –” bolting up I started rummaging through the boutique bag again for my phone to see if Enette had tried to message me or anything, “crapcrapcrap, Enette!”

I had a few missed calls and texts, but none from her. Bea was worried sick about if I got home safe or not, and I made sure she knew I did. I wanted to text her, but I figured she’d rather let me know herself. Amber sat back down next to me and pushed my phone screen down, “Darbee, you have to trust that she’s going to be okay? I only know what Silvia mentioned, but Enette’s going to be okay. Whatever this is will be sorted out, just give it time.”

She kissed my forehead, making me wince slightly. It still had the wanted effect of calming me down, though despite the bit of pain. She was right, I needed to learn to trust that people can work through their own issues by themselves sometimes. Otherwise I’d probably be arguing with Enette’s mother right now. Not going to lie, I was still going to worry until I got some bit of news. I let out a noise you’d expect from some unknown monster in the outside forests, and Amber just looked at me with both horror and concern. I know it wasn’t what she was trying to do, but I still burst out laughing, “I have had the longest day, can you just hold me for a while?”

“Maybe after you change and get all that dirt off of you, that dress would look way cuter on you without it,” she teased.

“Aw, I thought the look suited me after I lost to Bea in a ‘falling-out-of-the-sky competition,’” I snarked back.

“A new champion rises from the dust and dirt!”

That earned a playful push, as I went about standing up to change. We’d spend the rest of the evening just lazing about together until my phone started going off. It was Enette, I wasn’t going to waste any time answering. “Hello? Enette? Is–”

Enette almost immediately interjected. “Hi, Darbee, yeah everything’s fine. We were committing the world’s biggest cases of assumicide today,” she said.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Mama, she’s retiring. Vera isn’t leaving. I don’t know there’s so much going on I need to call you later when I’m not so overwhelmed,” she said, sounding extremely exhausted and emotionally spent.

Our call didn’t go far beyond that, I thanked her for calling me to update and then I let her go. I sat there in shock for a while, before taking in a deep breath and went right back to cuddling Amber. “I was right, wasn’t I?” she asked.

“You were, for once,” I said, wrapping myself around her just a bit tighter.

“Don’t you mean always?” she said, nudging me softly.

“Yeah, sure, for today at least,” I said with a laugh, “thank you.”

Enette seemed okay, and it also seemed like a lot was about to change. Don’t know if it’s for better or worse quite yet. I’m not going to let that get to me, though. For now I was more than happy to enjoy the nice calm moment I feel I earned after a day like today.

A loud and excited gasp found its way to my antennae from across the table, “ohmigod, really!? Darbee, I’m so happy for you!”

I took a second to recoil, Bea sometimes can’t exactly handle how loud she gets. She cycled through shock and embarrassment accompanied by a soft giggle when she saw my reaction. “S-sorry I didn’t mean to get so loud.”

Enette was sitting next to her, and had tilted hard enough away from Bea that one wrong shift would mean she’d hit the ground. Silvia, as usual, seemed unphased by this aside from the slight twitching in one of her antennae. Being the only one of us who lives with Bea and the rest of the honeybees in their hive, she's more used to it than Enette and me.

“Well, I can’t quite follow up on that, but I’m happy for you too, Darbee,” Enette said, sitting properly back in her chair.

“Yeah, I knew you’d probably start hormones soon, but to just walk out the clinic the same day meds in hand? That’s impressive,” Silvia chimed in.

“Mmhm! Today’s my first day taking them, too. I know it’s probably all placebo right now, but I haven’t felt this good in ages!” I said, a grin spreading wide across my face.

“Oh oh oh! I’ll be able to throw so many more cute dresses on you!” Beatrice clapped with a beaming smile.

“She’s not a dress up doll, Bea.” Enette quipped, setting down her large cup of coffee.

“They,” Silvia said firmly.

“Uh, actually – Both are fine, gals,” I said gently, scratching at my cheek, “it’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is though, you asked us to try using ‘they’ more, and I feel like it’s respectful that we do,” Silvia said affirmingly.

“T-thank you. Eheh,” I stammered.

I was embarrassed, I’d never really hassled anyone about my gender stuff. Everyone basically used to always call me a girl anyway, even before I came out. It was almost like everyone else in the garden knew I was a girl before I did. I never had the backbone to correct anyone either, not that I wanted to. Plus it’s not like Enette was wrong, I really do like the sound of both. But I also was grateful, I owe a lot of me feeling safe to these three, and the little bit of consideration goes a long way for that.

“Well, I’m still excited,” Beatrice said, chirping with excitement, “I’m super-super happy for you!”

Her excitement was contagious, and I couldn’t help myself from joyously swaying from side to side. Oh, who am I kidding? I was gonna be a little dancy today no matter what.

I was looking forward to today, summer was in full force and that meant the Flats once again had all of my favorite sweets. Me being in such high spirits from starting hormones today only made it all taste sweeter, placebo or not. Everything seemed brighter, it was nice. It had maybe been five months since I came out to everyone. Having them all sit with me at a table so often really was nice.

We talked for a while, about the upcoming season’s pollination work, about the other small here-and-there updates with everyone else’s lives. Enette’s baby sister, Vera, even called to ask when she’d be home. “Just a little while more,” she said, “I wanna finish my coffee and spend some time with friends, vaina.”

Of course she was already on her third large cup. The baristas here at the Flats’ shop have a special order named after her: large, iced, and strong enough to make even the strongest hearts jitter. I wonder, does she ever sleep?

“So, Darbee. How’s that order of mine coming along?” Silvia asked, catching me off guard after a bit of a lull.

“Oh! Y-yes, right!” I started, “Amelia’s been having me work more on the instrument orders for this year’s Pyre Lantern festival!”

She was giving me a disappointed, yet understanding look. Nervously laughing, I continued, “Plus, uh.. That wood you asked for is very hard to work with. I’m scared I’ll break it with how hard it is to come by too.”

“Wait, you ordered an instrument from Amelia’s workshop?” Enette asked, “I don’t remember you saying you played anything.”

“No. I ordered a bow. From Darbee. Who just happens to work in Amelia’s shop.”

“A bow?”

“Yeah. I’m worried I’m getting rusty, and I’ve been wanting a new one for quite some time now. But, it’s ironic I’m going to have to wait for one made from Late Hawthorn,” Silvia said, sitting back in her chair. 

“I’m sorry!!” I cried out, “I’ll get it done as soon as I can! There’s just a lot of orders all piled up!”

“Calm down, I’m not upset or anything,” she said, reassuring me.

“Honestly it’d be a whole lot easier to work on friend stuff in your spare time if you had your own workshop. Wasn’t Amelia ordering new tools in? Maybe she’d let you have her old ones,” Enette asked.

“Yeah! You work so hard for her when you’re not out in the garden pollinating with us! I’m sure she’d be willing to give her old tools to you!” Beatrice chimed.

Amelia Harper, my boss and mentor, was a kind woman. One of the older bugs in the garden. She is a rather successful luthier, and runs a well-kept woodwork shop a small way from the Honeybee Hive. Originally, I wanted to pick up a little bit of woodworking as a hobby, but it quickly became a very promising job for me working under her. One of the first things I ever did was carve out my own reed flute. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. I haven’t been working with her for too long, but she’s already trusting me to work on so many important orders, it’s a hair’s width to being overwhelming. That being said, it is nice to have something else to do when every other bee and I are done tending to all the flowers across the garden.

“That’d be the dream, yeah? I’d love to have a nice workshop at my place. Wouldn’t be too much work to get it set up if I had the tools. Whether or not Amelia gives them to me? I wish..” 

Adjusting myself in my chair with a slight slump, I continued. “But yeah, I’m sorry Silvie, it might take a while. I wasn’t expecting so many fresh orders.”

“Darbee, you’re doing that thing again where you say sorry way more than you need to. I told you, it’s alright. I’m patient,” Silvia said, rolling her eyes.

“Besides, I get enough of that from Bea back home,” she continued, causing Beatrice to giggle a little.

“I’m sorry!” Beatrice jokingly chimed, almost singing as she said it.

I just nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. The two of them just started laughing, even Enette smirked a little. She ended up nudging me a little and that broke the seal and I started cackling too. Fully absorbed in the silliness of the moment. It was cut short by Silvia’s eyes locking behind me, with her giving a subtle gesture to turn around. “Uh, I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” the voice from behind me said a little sheepishly.

I turned around, maybe a little faster than I usually would because I knew that voice. Sure enough, it was her. I felt my heart pulse through every small part of my body. “A-Amber?” I stammered.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here. Darbee, was it?” she said, with a slight grin.

I’m guessing my reaction to seeing her wasn’t all that subtle. I nodded quickly and she pulled a chair from the table next to us and sat in it backwards, leaning on the back of the chair. She was about as close to me as she could get without touching me. “Wait, you’re Amber? Ohmygod, Darbee you’re right she is pretty!!” Beatrice exclaimed.

“Bea!” I whined as my face started burning.

“Oh? She’s talked about me?” Amber asked with her own face starting to blush.

“That’s right! She hasn’t stopped talking about the wonderful person who saved her from that big bad storm last month!” Beatrice continued.

“Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t brought you up yet today. The ‘cool girl in the leather jacket that saved me!’” Silvia said, mocking me in the process.

“Not you too!” I cried out, burying myself into my arms on the table.

The three of them started laughing at that point, and I just hid myself deeper. “Honestly though, thank you. I’m glad someone was there to help her during that flash storm. It was too dangerous for any of us to have stayed out.” Antoinette said, reaching over and putting her hand on my arm in support.

It didn’t help much, but at least she wasn’t joining in on Silvia and Beatrice’s antics. “Plus, it’s been nice to see her be happy and gush over someone for once. She’s usually really reclusive about this stuff,” Silvia chimed in, finally over her bit of laughter.

There was a small pause followed by a slight giggle from Bea. What now? I tried to dig a little bit more into my arms, but I felt everyone’s eyes on me. The pause was broken by Amber calmly speaking up. Asking, “I’m sorry, did we overdo it a little?”

“No. Just. You all caught me really off guard and I –” I started, raising my head up and meeting those vivid green eyes of Amber’s.

She had adjusted to get even closer to me while I was hiding in embarrassment, and my entire ability to speak just left me. Seeing this, she just smirked at me while I sat there blinking at her. She tried again to break the silence, “I take it you’re not usually like this?”

Shaking my head no as my gaze remained locked on her, she kept smiling. She was just sitting there calmly in a well fitted shirt and jeans. But she wasn’t wearing that nice jacket I’ve commented on and off to the girls about. It was a fairly warm day, so maybe her jacket was a bit too heavy to wear? Her figure really was on full display. I began wondering a bit if I’d have the confidence to wear something like that soon? I also hoped she wouldn’t take too much notice at me looking her up and down like I was. It was really hard not to. After a point, I think Bea, Silvia, and Enette each said – something to me? My name, maybe, and questions about me being okay? I was struggling to pay attention to anything other than the bright emeralds in front of me. I could hear my pulse through my antennae, but my heart felt still. And it was like I was hyperventilating yet somehow I felt perfectly calm with every breath. All of this lasted until the instant Amber gently raised my head up with her index finger and thumb, asking, “hey, are you okay?”

I wouldn’t have been surprised if her hand started melting or bursting into flames at that exact moment. My mind and body underwent a full system reboot, and my face went all flushed and it felt like it was on fire. I didn’t expect her to touch me at that moment, and the shock of it was enough to stop me from my zoned-out dissociative state. Even if it did make me bury my face into my hands and just murmur out, “y-yeah I’m fine!”

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting to see ‘under someone’s thumb’ be so literal today,” Enette snorted.

That made three, I had become the source of amusement from all my best friends today. Beatrice started giggling again, and then Silvia and Enette followed. Even Amber joined in a bit. She had a really sweet laugh. I took a moment to take a deep breath, and tried to calm myself.

Amber then, after letting me calm down a bit, finally started talking again. “See, I don’t just usually barge in on conversations like this. But I wasn’t sure if I’d get the chance to see you again any time soon after last time,” she explained, “and last time, having kept you from drowning like you almost did wasn’t exactly the best of times to bring this up, but –”

Silvia gave me a stern look, I hadn’t told everyone just how bad I was caught out in the flash thunderstorm that hit us recently, I didn’t want them to worry. Then, after pulling out a crumpled up bit of paper, Amber tried to hand it to me, continuing what she was just saying. “Me and my band are going to be playing at the King’s Cap tonight and I was hoping I could try and get you in tonight to come see us? I’d love to talk with you after the show too.”

“Huh? Oh! I’d love to,” I exclaimed as I felt myself lighting up, “it sounds like it’d be really fun!”

“Uh, Darbee?” Silvia interjected, “Are you sure about that? King’s is usually busy this time of the week. That’s a lot of people, and a lot of noise.”

“Well, I mean. You don’t have to if it’ll be too much for you,” Amber said with a bit of defeat in her voice, “I thought I’d still ask.”

“Nonono I’d love to, really,” I tried to reassure her, “don’t worry! I can just wear my storm covers tonight, they’re a little bulky but they’d still let me hear you playing without me getting too overwhelmed!”

Silvia smiled, “well, as long as you think you’ll be okay,” her attention went to Amber, “is this just an invitation for them, or can we all go?” she asked.

“Oh! Right, yeah you all can, sure. I can make sure you have good seats tonight too,” Amber replied with a hinge of surprise.

“But,” she continued, “that might mean you have to show up early,” and once again those wonderful eyes of hers fixated on me, “and, seeing as I know where you live at least. I could probably pick you up?”

It felt like I was about to fly right out of my chair when I gave her a cheery, “yes! I’d love that!”

“Great! It’s at nine tonight, so I’ll pick you up at six and you can help us get ready backstage too?”

Nodding enthusiastically, I started dancing a bit in place and again Amber giggled. Beatrice started beaming again, “ooooh, Darbee’s got a da~ate!”

I began to shrink again a little, and Amber just coughed a little while she started blushing. “I should get back to what I was doing – See you tonight!” she said before waving all of us goodbye and hovering off to who I assumed were her friends. A spider and a ladybug both greeted her. The spider in particular was wearing Amber’s jacket and started hugging her as they got close enough. She started poking Amber in her sides before Amber playfully pushed her a bit, and Amber started hiding in her hands just like I did a moment before. “Oh, would you look at that? Seems she can dish it, but can’t take it,” Enette commented before trying in vain to loudly get the last bits of coffee from the ice in her cup. 

 I turned back towards the girls with a huge smile on my face. Looking around, they were all happy too. It didn’t take long before Beatrice started dancing herself, and she asked “So what do you think she wants to talk to you about after the show?”

“I don’t know, but I’m hoping it’s something along the lines of me getting to see her again after tonight,” I replied.

Silvia gave me a warm smile before tapping on her left wrist where a watch would normally be, saying “seeing as she’s picking you up so early maybe you should run home now and make sure you haven’t lost your ear covers again? It’s already almost four.”

She started pointing up at the nearby wall clock, and she was right. Where did all the time today go? It didn’t feel like much time had passed since we sat down. Feeling a rush of urgency come over me I hopped up nodding in agreement, “right, yeah! I probably should,” I started, “I’ll go ahead and go get ready! See you all tonight!”

I gave them all a quick heart gesture with my hands, with them doing the same in return as I took off. This really was shaping up to be one of the best days I’ve had in a real long time, and I was more than looking forward to whatever else tonight had in store.

The night air was warm, and tacky. It was as bearable as it could be while still being notably unpleasant. It was the company I had at the time that made up for it. I had found myself outside with Amber and her band, The Tearaways, to help them pack up. All of the equipment and gear was up to the bands themselves to bring, it seems. King’s didn’t usually host a lot of bands from around the Garden, so it made sense to me. The rhythmic booming occasionally reaching us from the inside of King’s was coming from the band that came on after them. “Is there a reason we’re packing up like this,” I asked, “you guys only just finished, right? I’m sure my friends wouldn’t mind if we all sat together and enjoyed all the other bands.”

Victoria, who was organizing all the equipment in the back just shot me a nervous yet pointed look, then proceeded looking over at Amber, who herself seemed nervous fidgeting and rubbing her arm at what I just said. “Okay, I guess I forgot to mention on the way here earlier; we’ve got some – history – with the band on right now. Tori would rather we just pack up and split than risk running in with the rest of Toxcyn tonight,” Amber explained.

Victoria let out a heavy sigh, and signaled to me with her hands to lift up an amp next to me into the back of the van. She was making sure not to stuff things on top of what looked like a makeshift bed. I had a feeling it was better not to ask. Amber tried her best to maneuver to help me lift things, but she soon looked a bit shocked by how I was lifting the heavier pieces of equipment with ease. I very often surprise people with my strength, given my disarming size and demeanor. Enette is always saying that I must have been an ant at some point in some past life. The two of us are often in the position to carry all the heavy stuff amongst our friend group, so tonight, lifting a few speakers and amps was honestly light work. Tori, taking notice, started to chuckle. It was quickly shattered as her face wrinkled in disgust, as a far away voice echoed from inside the club. I had managed to get the last bit of equipment on the ground inside, and Tori did a double check to make sure everything was in there. “Okay, that’s that. Let’s get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to risk running into any one of them when their set is over,” she said briskly.

Amber hurriedly motioned her to stop, and pointed at me from behind her back, and Tori’s expression softened as her shifting gaze came my direction. She looked back at Amber and let out a soft sigh. “Alright. You know where the van’ll be. Don’t stay out too late with her, alright? See you tomorrow.”

“Them.” Amber said a bit firmly.

“I thought you told me it was both, but okay,” Tori replied, jokingly.

She hopped out and let their drummer, Claire, into the back before closing the door. Nick, a vibrant Flannel Moth, settled into the front seat. He was their lead guitarist, and also sang alongside Tori. That left Amber on bass, she sang too most of the night. And honestly, from what I could hear she did more than Nick, at least tonight. But that wasn’t much of my business. His voice could’ve been stressed for all I know. That, and I figure having the flashy moth, and bombshell spider up front-and-center was part of the appeal they were going for. I’d be lying, however, if I said my focus wasn’t mostly on Amber.

They started to drive away and make their way across the cobbled paths and out of sight. The garden is home to a lot of insects who can’t fly, and they rely on being able to get around at comparable speeds. Even those of us who can fly sometimes need the help to carry heavy stuff across. That being said, it is a bit of hassle to get human things adjusted for our sizes. I try not to think about it too much. Not too long after the van had left, I felt a tapping on my shoulder. “Earth to Darbee, you in there?”

Amber looked at me with a slight smirk. I guess I had zoned out in thought. There’s a reason I don’t try to think about certain things too much. I tend to space out and my eyes glaze over. My friends say it’s endearing, I worry it’s distracting. Case in point, right now. I can feel the switch flick back on in my head, as I blink and my focus is instantly on Amber. “Y-yeah, sorry! I-I didn’t mean to space out there!” I was failing at keeping my stutter at bay.

Amber could only let out a soft laugh. “You’re okay,” she reassured me, resting her hand on my shoulder, “come on, I don’t wanna stick around here too when the next band has to come out back and pack their stuff.”

“But what about my friends? I said I’d be right back after I helped you pack things up,” I muttered.

“Oh? Darn, I was so looking forward to spending more time with you tonight,” she said, walking forward a few steps, then turning around towards me again.

She was giving a soft look my way that shot right through me, “I guess I should have asked earlier. But I’d rather not pull you away if your friends are gonna worry.”

I could feel my heart skipping, like I’d miss something important if I didn’t follow through at this exact moment. “I mean… I can always tell them where I am later. I wouldn’t mind spending more time with you, if that’s alright?” 

After giving a knowing wink, accompanied by a smirk that once again shot through me, she started walking off in the opposite direction to the Tearaways’ van. I quickly hopped forward to walk alongside her. Once the music started to slow down, she picked up the pace. I let curiosity get the better of me. “So is there a reason you don’t want to run into anyone?”

Slowing down a bit once it seemed enough distance was reached, she began rubbing the back of her neck. “We’ve got a bit of bad blood with a few members of Toxcyn – namely their drummer,” she explained, “see, he used to date Tori. He also used to be our drummer. But he started getting into the habit of beating on – more than just the drums – when Tori and I started getting close. He was a real jealous type.”
“Oh –” I let out, softly.

“Nick promised to kill him next time they saw each other, he was really pissed seeing him getting ready after us earlier. I hope that wasn’t too obvious to anyone in the audience.”

It was. I wasn’t quite sure what to say at that moment, I felt like it’d be better to listen. “And I promised I’d rip his wings off,” she sighed, “But I know Tori would rather we try to ignore him and we’d be able to just – Be. Not having to deal with him directly.”

“Gosh,” I started, “that sounds like a real mess. I’m sorry.”

“Hmm? Why? You couldn’t have known,” Amber said, as we kept walking.

The cobble path we were walking along was right alongside the massive pond at the edge of the garden. Many of the businesses on the path had plenty of advertisements and fliers for the upcoming Pyre Lantern festival. And across the pond, you could see the temporary dock set up where you could get an up close view of the lanterns and fireflies who danced with them.

“Say, I know a decent spot to grab a bite down the pond, if you’re hungry? I could go for some grilled aphid,” she continued, clearly trying to shift the conversation away.

“O-Oh! Y-yeah, I could eat!” I wasn’t expecting to get pulled into a dinner with Amber tonight, or more time with her at all if I’m being honest.

I could tell that she could tell that I was really nervous. She slowed down just a bit to match the speed I was going at for that reason. “It’s really good to see you again, and dry this time too!” she started to laugh.

“Tell me about it,” I said, letting out a soft chuckle in response to her. “ I don’t think I’ve told you thank you quite enough for not letting me drown. So, thank you,”

“Oh, so when you said thank you like, a million times, while holding onto me tight wasn’t enough?” she said, continuing to laugh.

I started locking up and blushing, unsure what to say in response. We had met just a few weeks prior during a really bad late-spring storm. I was late getting home from my pollination duties, and ended up getting caught in the freak downpour. I’m a terrible swimmer, and I ended up getting stuck in a flooded flowerbed. I was very lucky that she was nearby and heard me screaming. She managed to pluck me out and we sat under the cover of some leaves until the sun came out again, talking the whole time. The way the light hit her face then at that moment lit something in me I didn’t know existed. I could feel it raging right now.

Letting out a sigh, and regaining her composure, she looked over at me again. “Sorry,” she started, “I guess I shouldn’t laugh about it? That probably was a very traumatic moment for you.”

“No, it’s fine. It would’ve been so much worse if you weren’t there. You made that whole experience so much better,” I said, darting my eyes up at her, “I don’t think I could’ve asked for anyone else to make me feel as safe as you did in that moment.”

She started blushing, trying to turn her head away as if to hope I didn’t notice.

“Hmm? Are you okay?” I prodded, as she kept trying to hide her smiling face.

“I’m fine. I’m just – really glad I was able to help when I could, is all,” she said, trying even harder to keep composure.

“Oh, wow. Are you blushing right now?” I teased.

“Maybe a little,” she shied away a bit more, scratching her chin with her index finger, “what’s it to you?”

“Nothing, except maybe a bit of disappointment that I don’t get to see that pretty pretty smile of yours I like so much,” I continued with my teasing.

She started coughing erratically after choking on a nervous laugh. “Ohmigosh, are you okay?” I said, finding myself rushing towards her in a small panic.

“Y-yeah,” she said, catching her breath again, “wow I am bad at this,” she groaned.

“Oh good, we have that in common!” I chimed as she started glancing over to me, her face still flushed.

“Oh! Look, we’re here,” she said pointing to my right.

There sat a small unassuming restaurant with maybe two or three other bugs, including the staff there had to be maybe six people altogether inside. I’d never been there before, but I could smell from outside that it was going to be delicious. It was a fusion place, a bit of local cuisine crossed with something Asian I wasn’t too familiar with. We walked in and the man behind the register waved to Amber. I guess she was a regular here? She then began gesturing to the corner booth for me to sit down there. I looked around at the faded decor and then at her, she started to look really nervous. Part of me was worried, and a little sad that I couldn’t disarm her as well as she disarmed me. I don’t remember the last time anyone made me feel so safe. Our attention was diverted to a waitress coming by with water, a salad for the both of us, and some fresh spring rolls. She also gave a single menu to me, and Amber just gave a quick thumbs up. I guess she’d been there plenty enough times to know what her favorite was and the staff knew as well.

“This is mine and Tori’s favorite place, we usually come here after every gig if we can” she started, “if it’s your first time I’d avoid anything you can’t pronounce, okay?”

I shook my head and started to read through, and thought I’d get something safe. Veggie-flower stir-fry seemed easiest. I rarely, if ever, eat meat, I prefer more sugar than anything. But pillbug wasn’t bad on occasion. But I wasn’t in the mood to be too adventurous tonight. I pointed to it on the menu, and the waitress nodded and walked off. After processing the last few moments, I caught a glimpse at her again. She seemed to have calmed down after eating a bit of comfort food. “So,” I began to ask, “you and Tori come here a lot? I wouldn’t have minded if she came with us.”

“Uh,” Amber chuckled nervously, “she and I are on a bit of a break right now.”

“Oh, I – Uh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –”

“Nonono, it’s nothing bad,” she interrupted me, “she’s just struggling with a very bad breakup right now, and doesn’t want me to get wrapped up in her broken heart right now. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. In fact, she’s asked for a break with all her other partners for the same reason. But we’re still together.”

“Wow, that… Sounds really messy. I’m still sorry,” I said assuringly, even if my heart started sinking deep into my stomach when hearing that “together.”

I guess it was a little foolish of me to think this was a spur-of-the-moment date. Of course a girl like her would be taken. Of course I’d gotten my hopes up, and gotten a little too into the moment to even try and flirt with her. I don’t think I can remember the last time I felt this embarrassed with myself. But the way she held my chin up and looked into my eyes earlier today? What was that? Did it mean anything at all? Why am I letting myself get so worked up over this?

I’m guessing Amber noticed my sinking, and broke the silence I let myself fall into; “she’s a tough girl, she’ll pull through. But the next time you see her, you might wanna thank her. She’s the one who encouraged me to try and take you on a quick date tonight,” Amber said, taking another bite from her spring roll.

Wait. What? Now I was feeling my heart tumble in confusion. “She encouraged you? S-s-she doesn’t mind you being out on a date with another girl?”

Amber just started laughing, “well, yeah. What? Did you miss when I said “partners” – plural? She’s dating two other people right now, even if all of us are on a bit of a break to let her heal.”

“I guess I did – And you’re okay with that?” I asked, a bit confused.

“Well, it took a bit of adjusting at first, but that’s polyamory for you. We made it work, a lot better than some of her other exes,” she replied, “I’m guessing this is all new to you?”

“I remember my friend Enette’s six sisters, all tried to date the same guy once. That didn’t end pretty. I think that’s when she decided she was actually aromantic and didn’t wanna deal with any romantic relationship,” I said.

“Oh. My. God. Yeah, that was Nick. He thought he’d get back at Tori not wanting to date him big time doing that. All he got were six very angry princess ants who wanted him to go off to their own colony with them,” Amber said, her hands over her face trying to hide her frustration.

“Wow. Small garden, I guess,” I began nervously laughing.

We both laughed for a while, and we got a bit silent for a few moments as our food arrived. She had gotten some noodle dish, it looked very good, even if aphid wasn’t really something I liked eating. My stir-fry was still sizzling a bit, I bet if I looked at it just wrong enough I’d burn myself. I did my best not to directly touch the plate.

“So,” she said, breaking the silence again, “I’m guessing that means you’re probably not open to something like that? I mean, it’s okay if you’re not. We can just call this a friend’s night out and go from there.”

I was taken a bit by surprise by her boldness, but I also really appreciated it. “I’m – Not really sure,” I said softly.

I looked down at my food, then I looked back at her. She was giving me the softest eyes, a look that I wasn’t expecting at all. I could feel something in me wanting to scream yes to her. “I’ve never felt – this – before. With anyone. It’s new, and it’s scary.”

After taking a bite from her food, she began adjusting her posture so as to listen better, clearly waiting for me to finish what I was about to say. “And I know since that day we first met, I’ve thought about you a lot. So much so my friends have been teasing me about it, because I’ve never – ever – felt like this about anyone.”

I took a second to take a few bites of my stir-fry, and to put together more of my thoughts. “I know I feel something, and I really do want to see where that something goes,” her eyes lit up as I said that, “but I don’t know where I’d fit into that all if you’re already seeing someone, you know?”

“I guess I can understand that,” she started, “I’m not going to try and pull you into anything you might not be comfortable or ready for.”

A few more minutes passed and our eyes locked again, I could feel myself breaking a bit. I felt like I could cry, it was like I was about to miss out on something, and regret it. “So, why don’t we take some time, together, to work and figure things out. It doesn’t have to just be tonight. But however it all shakes out,” she paused for a second and extended her hand out to me, “I’d really, really like to keep seeing you.”

Taking a deep breath, I reached out and grabbed her hand gently. “I’d really like that too,” I said.

Both of our wings started fluttering, and I smiled in a new way that I haven’t before. She went back to her noodles, and started humming happily to herself. I couldn’t help but sway a little side to side. I felt happy. This was a new happiness, and I very much welcomed it. “So, first day on hormones, yeah?” she asked, once again breaking the silence.

“Oh, right! Yes!” I giggled, “my doctor is starting me pretty low, but he’s already written a few letters for surgeries if I want them. He’s really on top of this stuff, and I wasn’t expecting it. All he has to do is sign them.”

“Don’t they usually do that for most bees cuz their uh – bits – explode,” she jokingly asked.

“Oh, please, that’s just a myth,” I snarked, laughing at how ridiculous of a question that was, “I think it happened to one poor guy before either of us were born and now every honeybee spreads it just to scare all the little boys around the hive.”

“I see, I see,” she said, gently nodding.

“Of course it scared me too, so much so that I started taking estrogen,” I sarcastically quipped, causing her to spit out her water she was attempting to drink at that moment.

We both spent the next while laughing, and the rest of the night talking well until the restaurant closed, and we were the only two left inside. We both paid for our meals, and happily flew back to my home. “Do you wanna sit and talk a bit, still?” I asked, pointing to the bench I had just on my porch.

“I’d love to, but I really should call Tori and see if she got home safe,” she said with a hint of regret in her voice, “hey, unlock your phone and let me see it real quick.”

I nodded, and handed her my phone. I saw her fiddle with it for a bit, before pulling me closely in for a duo selfie, “now, let me see your pretty pretty smile, yeah?”

I did my best to oblige before my face finished flushing with what felt like a neon red heat. She went back to fiddling with my phone for a second. “There,” she said while handing it back to me, “call me or text me whenever. I’ll answer as soon as I can, always.”

Gently grabbing my hand and pulling it up, she kissed it before picking up off the ground. “See you around, Darbee.” she said with a wink before flying off.

It was almost like she took my heart with her. Taking a deep breath, I turned around and headed inside. In what felt like an instant, I found myself face first on my bed. My feet kicked while I squealed happily into my pillow. That’s when I started getting messages from mine and my friend’s group chat.

I opened it up to find a bunch of messages asking if I was okay, followed by the selfie that Amber had just taken of the two of us, attached to it saying “don’t worry, I got them home safe - A.”

What followed was about fifteen or more messages of Bea gushing and sending every heart emoji possible because we apparently looked “soooooooooo cuuuuuute!”

To avoid accidentally calling everyone I switched open to my picture app and took a good look at the selfie. I could feel my heartbeat through all of my body, as I pulled the phone close to me and once again gleefully kicked.

I think today was the best day I’ve ever had so far, and something told me I’d have many more just like this.

This chapter is just very spicy smut, you're free to skip it as it does not serve much to the overall story!

Another night, another battle with insomnia. I think I laid there for hours looking at the ceiling with my thoughts racing. About how far I’ve come the past few years, and how much further I still have to go. How lucky I am to get to share this life, this journey, with the beautiful women gracious enough to give me their time. Focusing on the good like that, really does help me drift off to sleep. I usually go between Tori’s place and Darbee’s place, and tonight I was spending it with Tori. I looked over at her sleeping frame and smiled, and kissed the back of her head before once again trying to curl up in the blanket to sleep. Usually, that’s all it takes. Some nights it’s not that easy, unfortunately. After rolling and looking at the clock to see another hour pass, I frustratingly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Tori usually keeps some kind of sleep aid in her medicine cabinet. I hastily poured two, maybe three into my hand. I’m not sure I was too frustrated to really check, and downed them. I hate how groggy they make me feel when I wake up, but it’s better than how groggy I am when I don’t sleep at all. Grumpingly going back, I settled into bed again, cuddling up with Victoria who was out cold. After what felt like an eternity, the sleep meds kicked in and I more or less crashed, rather than drifted off to sleep.

I don’t really like taking sleeping meds in general. Not just because of how they make me feel after waking up the day after taking them, but also because part of me worries I’ll end up only being able to sleep if I take them. An added effect of taking them often leads to wild dreams too, which I barely even remember the morning after. The memory is like a film stripped burned away by daylight’s bulb. Which I don’t often like, some of my most creative moments come from recollecting my dreams, I’d really rather remember them. There could be a chance that I’d need to get used to them to remember the more wild dreams, but it doesn’t seem worth it to me. So whatever weird and wild dreams I’d be having are going to be forgotten as they come no matter what.

I wake up to an unexpected weight on my stomach, and I’m far too groggy to really process it. I do my best to roll over and look at the clock, only to find Tori’s nightgown draped over my bedside table. “Ah ah ah. No moving.” she whispers into my ear, the heat from her breath sending a pulse through my neck. My throat was still dry, and the best I could do was gasp out air. My eyes having finally adjusted I saw her on top of me, completely bare and smiling. “Good morning~” she softly said. Her voice being somewhere between a sultry flirt and an expecting moan. Stretching forward, and taking my breasts in her hands, she started to gently play and tease them. My back arched as my voice finally just barely returned to me, letting out a gentle moan. I was still groggy, so it took a bit to register that I was also naked. She didn’t even wait until I was fully awake to undress me and get started. At least, it seemed, she wanted me awake for whatever it was she had planned. Not sure how long she’s had something like this in mind. We’ve had a long standing agreement: That at any point she wants me? She can have me without even asking. Something she took to readily, as she started kissing up and down my neck towards my breasts, gently nibbling on one of my nipples, making me squirm and gasp even more.

I wanted to return the favor to her, and touch that wonderful body of hers as she was on top of me playing with my body, but I couldn’t move my arms – she had them tied up to our bed in a carefully strewn together web. I tried to move my legs, but they too were bound and tied. She paused after realizing I was trying to move, and started giggling, “took you long enough to notice… Didn’t you hear me when I said: No. Moving?”

“Good morning to you too, babe,” I said to the best of my ability with her pulling me in to kiss me, and gently putting her finger on my lips – She didn’t want me talking either.

Continuing with her plans, she started running her hands up my arms, and then slowly down my sides. It tickled, and it was hard not to let out a bit of a giggle between moans. They quickly escalated into mild, passionate screams as she started clawing into my sides. I lurched, arching my back upwards at her. Wrapping her arms around me, she dug her nails into my back just enough to leave marks, as she started biting at my neck with the intent to leave even more marks. “That’s a good girl… Sing for me..” once again nibbling and whispering into my ear. She was playing me like an instrument, and all I could do was oblige her.

After a while of this, she started kissing her way down my body further down my hips and started gently rubbing my thighs, my legs started trembling anxiously at her touch. I could start to feel just how tightly she had me tied up, trying in vain to dismiss the built up nerves by rubbing my thighs together. “Someone’s all excited,” she teased, kissing along my pantyline, “does she want more?”

I was already feeling like I was about to burst, and she could tell. I let out a soft “mmhmm” that was somewhere between crying out in pleasure, and begging for more – I saw her reaction of bliss at hearing it from me.

She gently took me in her hand and started stroking, almost immediately my moan riddled breaths were following her rhythm. Her other hand was still caressing me and occasionally teasingly pinching my breasts to get a quick shock out of me. “Good… Good girl…” she repeated, pulling her hands down my hips. 

With no indication, she took me in her mouth. I nearly screamed, all I could let out was a soft “oh!...” and I felt her once again quake at hearing me all the way in the back of her mouth.

We had been together long enough that she knew just when to slow down, or even stop, just so I could last longer. For as much as HRT has aided in my overall sensitivity, I was still only really able to cum once before needing a fair bit of rest. Tori didn’t want to wait around on my time, we were still on hers. I caught a glimpse at the clock and saw that the minutes had looped around the hour. I couldn’t read what hour it was, only that at least one had passed. I began hearing, and feeling her own voice start to rise as I looked back and saw she had pulled a hand away from me and was pleasuring herself while still tending to me. Almost as soon as I noticed, she moved upward, and straddled me. Kissing me in a way that almost seemed like she was trying to steal the air from my lungs. She reached into the hidden pocket we keep above our headboard and pulled out a condom, tearing it with her teeth and doing her best to pull it over me. She had herself at a bit of an awkward angle on top of me, but she took the opportunity to suck a little more on my breasts as she managed to pull the condom over my bits. She didn’t even wait at all before starting to ride me, resting her hands at the top of my hips to stabilize herself. It was quite the show, watching her body rise and fall on top of me as she made sure I was going deep inside of her. There were enough times it seemed like we were breathing in sync, and the wonderful noises coming from her made up for the lack of feeling the thin layer of plastic between us caused. She didn’t mind it at all, though. I could feel her gently squeezing with every thrust downward, and she was picking up the pace. I was doing my best to not make her do all of the work with my limited mobility, and it seemed to help her quite a lot. It was helping me too, quite a lot as it let us get even closer together. It was letting feel more from under the condom.

Curiosity got the better of me, and I looked over at the clock again, and once again, the minutes had looped around. It didn’t feel like we were at it for that long. She really was making sure today was hers. I was brought back into the moment by her firmly grabbing me by the cheeks and redirecting me to look right back at her. “Watch me, Pet. We’ll be done when we’re ~~ done,” she managed to say between panting as she rose and fell on top of me.

Moments later it was like she was struck by lightning, as she got even faster. Her nails dug into my hips as she was squeezing her legs into mine. This lit me up even more, we were both right there! We kept at this heightened pace for an extremely short amount of time, before she let out something akin to a howl of a “Yes!” followed by her taking in a breath with such fervor, you’d think it was her first time breathing air. 

I felt the rest of her body react as the explosive moment swept along her body. I loved watching her cum. The whole ‘I’m in charge of the situation’ bit that she puts on melts away and it’s just us. There. The love we feel for each other being followed through on. She loved watching me too, and by the look in her eyes as she regained composure, that’s exactly what she wanted to do as she kept riding me. Shuddering and shaking each time as more waves crashed over her. But it was now her focus to take care of me until we were both satisfied. It had to have been a bit too much physically for her to take at the moment, so she slowly moved off of me, to go back to pleasing me with her hands. Slipping the condom off, and once again gently stroking me with her hands.

She leaned in to kiss me again, biting at my lips as she left to kiss up and down my neck. Leaving soft bites as she worked her way to my breasts again. All at once I felt it all build up in my core, and I couldn’t help but cry out loud how close I was. I felt my whole body lurch, as my back arched as high as the webs I was tied up in would let me, as I finally came after hours of pleasure. Even though she hates the aftertaste left by condoms, she still took to cleaning up what little dribble was coming out from below. After being on hormones for so long, it’s a wonder anything comes out at all. 

She started gently petting my hair, “there we go. Good girl,” she softly spoke, as she leaned in to kiss me again. 

She began to undo the webbing that kept me from moving, and let out a “shit, I’m sorry!” as she showed me how red my wrists were, “I didn’t think I did it up that tight.”

“W-what did you expect? We were at it for hours…” I said, rubbing my hands and wrists to help ease the tension that had built up in them.

“I still had a LOT of fun, though,” she giggled and went about cuddling into my arms.

Holding her close, I started rubbing at her bare back. “Really? Wow, I couldn’t tell.”

“I know you’re joking. But I’d be down for another round if you’re so skeptical?” she joked, nuzzling her head into my shoulder.

“I.. Need a minute. Also I think I’m hungry? Hard to tell at the moment. What time is it anyway?” I asked, pulling off her gown and handing it to her so I could take a good look at the clock.

It was just shy of noon. She woke up and didn’t waste any time, it seems. Now, though? She was just slowly tracing her fingers along my chest, in-between, around, and above my breasts. But being careful not to touch them directly, as they were fairly sensitive at the moment after all the attention they got. I let in a large breath that lifted her head up just a bit, and she cozied in closer. That’s when it hit me, the high was over and I was coming down hard. I don’t think I was this tired last night, even after taking the sleep meds. I felt a kiss to my cheek. “Go ahead, sleep. I need to get up and pee after all of that. Plus, it’s better if I cook anyway, you’re terrible at it.”

“I only caught the pan on fire the one time, Tori, give me a break.” I teased, gently pushing at her shoulder as she was getting up and over me.

Slipping on her nightgown, she left me a gentle kiss on my forehead, before leaving to the restroom. Letting out a much needed stretch, I found myself quickly curling up. All I could think to myself is maybe there’d be a different way to fall asleep at night if I just spoke up, rather than trying to shovel pills down my face. Questions for later. Now? I really just wanted to get back to sleep.

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