I've been lurking on BigCloset for years. It helped me figure a lot of things out about myself and gave me a place to escape to when things in the real world were just a little too much. Hopefully I can help contribute to the wonderful work on this site! Apologies for any grammar mistakes, difficulty reading, etc. Again, this is my first time really writing out a story. All feedback and criticisms are welcome and appreciated! That being said, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1:
I don't think there's an 11 year old in the whole world that could last through one of our church's Sunday sermons. Dad keeps insisting that I should stay awake cause I'll learn something from them. Yeah, sure.
But that's how I found myself asleep and having the same dream I'd had about a bazillion times before.
Somehow it always made me feel just as scared.
I sat in my seat frozen stiff while waiting for everyone to start looking at me. To laugh, and sneer, and preach the gospel. I could feel a cold sweat dripping down my back while I stared at my feet. I knew it was coming but there was nothing I could do, so I just waited, and waited, and waited.
Nothing happened. Well apart from me catching a bit of a chill. That was odd. Both the lack of pandemonium and the cold. I'd never felt cold in a dream before.
Finally I got the nerve to look up and again there was nothing. Not a soul was looking in my direction. Here I was, a boy whose Sunday best had been replaced by a yellow short sleeved dress, with a flowery belt and Mary Jane's poking out from the lacey hem of my outfit. And there wasn't a peep!
I peeped quite loudly though when I looked to my left and saw my dad. His outfit looked strange with its long loose sleeves, but it was still, I was sure, a dress. He gave me a stern look and shushed me before turning his attention back to the sermon. Was he wearing lipstick?
In a complete state of shock I faced forward again. Looking closer at my surroundings, with the fear shoved right out of me by surprise, I finally began to notice that we weren't the only weirdos dressed up like this. I couldn't quite tell for everyone but it seemed like every man and boy here was dressed the same, in differently styled conservative little dresses. And all the women were dressed in suits with short hair or with it pulled back into tight ponytails. No wait, those were men with the ponytails. Actually it seemed like all of the women had short hair! And looking up to the preacher I realized with another start that Father Fritzgerald was replaced by a woman who I think was his wife, but it was hard to tell with the clothing and hair changed, and her normally soft face twisted as she gave a passionate talk on the dangers of worldly temptation.
It was hard for me to really pay any attention though. I was too busy looking all around me. Not just the people, but some of the church had changed too. Even Jesus had disappeared and replaced by some topless woman nailed up to the cross. I felt like my head was going to pop. What kind of dream was this?
I was broken from my whirlpool of confusion, head whipping back and forth chasing a tickling feeling on the back of my neck, when a firm hand shook my right shoulder.
"C’mon pumpkin, it's time to go. You must've really enjoyed Mother Fitzgerald's sermon today. I've never seen you so focused before."
My mother said with a smile as she got to her feet. She wasn't wearing a hint of makeup. Now I know I must be dreaming. She never left the house without makeup, she said she felt naked without it! Maybe I ate something weird for breakfast that sent me into a coma like on some TV drama or something? Is that why this dream feels so real?
"I don't know about that dear. His eyes seemed to be wandering everywhere else except Mother Fitzgerald. And don't make excuses for him Betty." My dad responded, giving me another stern look and mom a wag of his finger. A mom wag from my dad. What is going on?
I stood up at my mother's urging and followed in stunned silence as we filed out of our pew.
My mother stepped up beside my father, placing an arm around his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder, her short brunette hair making dad’s blonde bun look even brighter.
"Yes, yes honey, I know, I coddle him too much. But what’s wrong with a lady treating her boys nicely? And besides, we both know that it's a huge improvement over falling asleep like he normally does."
With a sigh my father nodded his head and looked back at me with a softer expression. "True, maybe he's finally growing up a bit."
"Well he better not grow up too fast." mom said with a small grin as she looked back at me too. "I don't want to have to start fending off girlfriends left and right quite yet.'
"Mommmm." I finally spoke up.
Well, ok, I whined. But at least I'd recovered enough to make some noise again.
"Especially as handsome as he is already, I'm sure we'll have our hands full." dad agreed.
I felt my cheeks burning lightly. What kind of girl would want to date a boy in a dress?
My mom answered that question as she patted dad's butt and said "He gets it from you sweetie. I've got two of the most handsome men in the world."
I think my dad blushed at the compliment but it was hard to tell because my vision was yanked up skyward before I could really get a look. I let out a yelp and grabbed at my hair, which I only now realized had been that annoying thing that I felt brushing against my neck. It felt like it was down past my shoulders at the very least.
"Sally Margaret Washington! Apologize this instant!" I heard a man yell. Turning around I saw another familiarly unfamiliar face. I'd seen Sally a few times at church but we hadn't ever really talked much, cause she’s a girl and two whole years younger than me. Just like everyone else her clothes had been swapped around. Instead of her usual dress and long braids she sported a crew cut and a one of those awfully uncomfortable kids suits with a little bow tie and everything. It actually kind of looked good on her. She didn’t look like a boy, but she also didn’t just look like a girl in a random ill-fitting suit either.
The mischievous little grin dropped from her face as she turned to look at her dad and whined "I didn't do anything!"
Her father grabbed her by the ear and held it taut, causing her to wince a bit and straighten up to relieve some of the pulling
"Don’t you lie to me missy! I watched you pull this nice boy's hair like it was a lamp cord. Now apologize or you can forget about riding your bike for the rest of the week."
"But it's Sunday!"
"That's right and with God as my witness you won't be riding that blasted thing for 7 whole days." He said firmly, releasing her ear and pushing her a step towards me
I always thought she wasn’t much of a trouble maker or anything. She seemed pretty nice and quiet at church before. But it didn’t seem like this was the first time she’d gotten in trouble like this from how quick she was to give up on trying to weasel out of it. Her dad must've taken her bike away enough times for her to know he was serious.
Sally looked as if she had a sour taste in her mouth and looked down at the ground but managed to mumble out her apology.
"Sorry for grabbing your hair Eric. I shouldn't have done that."
She cast a quick glance to her father and added.
"It was mean and I won't do it again. Sorry."
Her father smiled a bit and looked at me expectantly. From behind I could hear my dad put in his own opinion.
"That was a nice little apology Eric, don't you think?"
Personally I thought it would be nicer if peoplr didn't grab my hair at all. I knew that what I thought didn’t matter though, just like it didn’t for her. So I just nodded and gripped the fabric of my dress a bit in a failed attempt to slide my hands into my pockets. I settled on clasping them in front of my waist instead.
"Yeah uh, I forgive you Sally."
The words had barely left my mouth before she dashed off, running out of the parking lot to join some other girls playing on the grass nearby.
Her dad sighed and gave my parents a very tired looking smile before quickly walking after Sally.
"Sally Washington! Do not get your suit covered in mud again!'
I just watched in awe as the frilly church girls I once vaguely knew shoved and tussled each other on the field, chasing after a soccer ball, without a single boy in sight. The longer this went on, the less I thought it could be a dream. But things just kept getting weirder and weirder. I brought a hand back up to my hair. The newly acquired length was going to be a big distraction. At least until I woke up.
"He really has his hands full with that girl." Said dad as we resumed our walk to the car.
"Yeah, it's a shame what happened to Amanda last year, but at least Sally is coping well."
My mom noticed me toying with my hair and reached a hand down to gently pat my head.
"Don't worry sweetie pie, I don't think she was trying to be mean on purpose. Girls just get a little weird when they like a boy."
"Girls are always weird." I said reflexively.
"Good, just keep thinking that." She replied with a laugh as my dad rolled his eyes.
Even that was different from what I’d expect. Normally I was supposed to get scolded for saying things like that about girls or they’d be telling me I’d “think different soon enough.”. These people sounded like my parents and looked like them (at least their faces did) but everything else was totally off. What's next? Are they going to tell me I have to eat all my ice cream if I want to have lima beans for dessert tonight? Or tell me to pile into a clown car so we can get to work at the circus?
I must be like one of those people that can see the future or something. Mom pulled some keys out of her pants pockets and with a small honk the car next to us unlocked. My eyes widened a little bit as I took it in. Our old car wasn’t rusty junk or anything, although dad used to whine a bit about how hard it was for him to change the oil. But this thing was amazing, shiny and new and styled kind of weirdly. It was like everything else in this dream, just plain different. Now that I was paying attention again I realized that none of the cars in the parking lot looked familiar. The designs were off and even the logos on them were different. Things were just normal enough that I could tell ours was a slightly better car, but just weird enough to completely confuse me. It wasn’t exactly a clown car but maybe there was some hope for the ice cream dinner.
Mom walked ahead and pulled the back door open, gesturing me forward. Wait, how do I get into a car with a dress? Wasn’t there some special way mom always did it. I couldn’t remember, I’d never paid enough attention before, although I knew if I didn’t do it right then everyone would see my underwear.
My hesitation worked out fine in the end though. Mom just picked me up with a small grunt and plopped me down into the back seat and gave my dress a quick tug to pull it straight before kissing my forehead.
“Yup, looks like he’ll be our little boy for a bit longer.” she said happily as she closed my door and opened the front passenger door for my dad.
He grabbed onto her for support, turned sideways and sat down. I’d have to try and remember that.
“He’ll stay that way if y-” mom closed the door before he could finish which dad sure didn’t seem to like. He waited for her to walk around and get into the car and pointed a finger at him.
“What was that about, Bethany?” He demanded
“You’re just in such a rush to make him grow up! There’s nothing wrong with spoiling my little boy for a bit longer. I just don’t know why you have to act like this all the time.” She grumbled loudly while strapping in her seatbelt.
“You know exactly why I feel this way Bethany. He’s my little boy too, and-and you know how worried-”
Mom finally looked at dad when he went silent and saw that he had started to cry a bit. She reached out a hand and took one of his, giving it a kiss as she started up the car. She gave a worried look back to me through the rearview mirror and started pulling out of our parking spot before taking dad’s hand again, only keeping one of them on the wheel.
I just laid my head back, closed my eyes, and tried not to cry myself. This was way too weird, it was getting scary, not like the nightmares I had before but in a different way. If I fall asleep in the car then maybe I’ll be able to wake up in my bed and this messed up dream will finally be over.
Extra: Eliza Jordan, author of The Suffocation of the Father, used hysteria as an explanation for mysterious medical occurrences in prepubescent young men. She supposed that the hysteria caused by the "wandering" of the yet to emerge Adam's apple around the body was the source of witchcraft, and often presided in witchcraft-related trials as an expert on the subject. The Suffocation of the Father connected the phenomenon of hysteria with actions like singing, laughing, crying, and choking.
Here's chapter two! I'll be trying to post a new one every week or two!
I woke up when my head fell forward and I felt a wave of hair slide past my cheeks.
Hair?
And I can still feel the seatbelt holding me tightly in place. Oh no!
I kept my eyes closed. Maybe if I didn’t open them then this wouldn’t be real.
I heard the click of the doors unlocking and opening. My dad’s voice called softly then his hand reached out and pushed my hair back from my face. “Eric sweetie, we’re home.”
Reluctantly I opened my eyes and lifted my head. My dad was leaning into the back of the car and giving me a warm smile. At least he wasn’t going to be angry at me or crying the whole time I was stuck here. But where was here exactly?
He unbuckled himself and accepted mom’s help getting out of the car before she came to my door and did the same for me.
This time I tried to shoo her away.
“I’m fine mom.” I told her as I turned my legs sideways and tried to hop out of the car, reversing what I’d seen mom do. I felt my dress ride up my legs a bit but didn’t trip myself up on it or anything.
“Well look at little Mr. Independent over here. Maybe dad can help you practice that a bit more, you almost flashed your panties again.” She said with a laugh. I could feel my cheeks go red. Of course my underwear had to change too! Gah!
“U-uh yeah, sure.”
Her laughter stopped, and she gave me a confused brow, while dad looked outright shocked. He recovered fast though and jumped on the chance to open the passenger door again.
“Never look a gift horse in the mouth Betty. You can head inside while I give him a little lesson.”
“Are you sure you can pull the car into the garage, ok? The last time you tried to pull up to the curb, you almost ran down that poor woman and her little bulldog.”
Dad put his hands on his hips and gave mom a look. “It was an accident, I stepped on the wrong pedal! And our garage isn’t an obstacle course Betty, I’ll be fine.”
She just giggled and lifted a hand to dad’s neck, pulling him down a bit and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.
“Alright boys! Just don’t stay out here too long. I’m starving.”
Mom bent down to give me a kiss on the head too before handing dad the keys, opening the garage door for us, and heading inside.
“Well now mister” dad said, aiming another smile at me. “Let’s get you hopping in and out of the car like a real-life prince. I’m sure your mom will be very impressed the next time we go to church.”
Dad showed me how to tuck my dress underneath me and sit down, to make sure I cross my legs, and a lot of other tricks to stop me from accidentally flashing or doing something embarrassing. I was kind of worried that he would get suspicious of me not knowing any of this stuff, but he didn’t mention it. He did say that most of it would be more useful if I wore shorter things but that I wouldn’t be getting anything like that until I was older. I certainly wasn’t going to complain!
It felt like we were outside for a long time, and I was sure I’d forget this stuff next time I had to sit down, but I had fun in some sort of weird way. I also felt a bit more comfortable in the dress, or I guess it really was my dress.
The longer this went on, the more it started to feel real.
My dad’s praise as I hopped out of the car without letting my dress ride up was very strange but felt good? Pleasing. Yeah, that’s the word. This version of dad wasn't exactly the person I'd been hoping to be like someday, and these weren’t the kinds of things I wanted to learn from him, but it was the same voice and smile complimenting me on a job well done. I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself.
After my lesson, dad had me go into the garage to help guide him in.
He told me that we had to make sure the car was "nice and square with the wall and far enough away from mommy's workbench so she can open all her drawers." Which he apparently had trouble with when parking by himself. Or at least mom claimed he couldn't do it the way she liked it, so dad wanted me here to back him up if she complained about it.
The house, like everything else, was just a little bit off once I got inside and started to look around. The furniture was in different spots, the photos on the walls showed everyone crossdressing, and things like that. Maybe that nap in the car did me some good or maybe I was getting close to losing my marbles. Either way, it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I was kind of having fun spotting the differences. It was like one of those picture puzzles from a magazine that you can spend an hour on trying to spot every difference between two photos. I had time to take a close look later though. Our garage was connected to the laundry room and then through that was the living room. Then I could shoot upstairs to the bedrooms and bathrooms. I was off like a shot. My first priority was getting out of this dress!
"Hang it up in your closet! Don't just throw it on the floor." Dad called out, somehow already predicting exactly what I had planned as soon as I started thumping my way up the stairs.
"And help me in the kitchen once you're changed!"
"Okay da-!" I started to reply but stopped and froze. My room was…. Well…. The same!
Everything was exactly, 100% the same as I remembered it. Ok not exactly, I was standing here in a dress, but I was the only thing out of place! Maybe I just teleported back home? I didn’t feel like I was dreaming, but then again, everything had felt real up until this point.
I carefully crept back to my doorway and listened. If I was back home, then I definitely didn't want mom or dad to see me dressed like this. Outside I heard the muffled sounds of the tv playing some sort of sports match and things banging around in the kitchen. Not really a lot to go off but maybe things were back to normal? Dad liked to watch football reruns after church. If that's the case..….
I quickly tried to peel off the dress. Tried being the key word. I'd never put one on before, so I also never figured out how to take one off. After a lot of tugging, and I think some tearing sounds, I managed it. Only then did I notice the seam along the back that held a zipper. I'm not sure it would've helped even if I had known it was. I could barely even scratch the spot on my back, let alone grab a zipper!
Now where could I put this thing? I can't just hang it up in my closet or mom would see it when she put away the laundry.
I quickly scanned my room, and I realized I only had one good spot that was big enough to hide this until I could get it out of the house. I lifted my mattress up off the springboard and laid the dress between them.
"Eric! What's taking you so long!?" Dad called up.
I yanked off the panties. I'd be better off with him finding me naked than wearing these if he barged in.
"Nothing! I'll be down in a sec dad!"
I stuffed them underneath my mattress as well and scrambled to my dresser. But instead of my underwear there were just more panties! They were kind of just like the briefs I usually wore with plenty of room for my stuff, but they weren’t white and were really soft to touch. A quick check of my room showed that nothing had changed but what I had in my drawers. I closed one eye and threw open the drawer below it, socks exactly where they should be. But they looked different, smaller maybe, and some of them were more colorful than anything I’d ever worn before.
“Oh no.” I groaned. Maybe I wasn’t home after all, or maybe all my clothing swapped around? I still had the dress after all.
“Eric if you’re not down here in ten seconds to help with lunch!” I heard my mom threaten.
My next drawer revealed a bunch of neatly folded shorts. I scrambled as fast as I could to get dressed, well as fast as a boy could reluctantly put on a pair of panties anyway. I barely even had time to look at what I threw on as I grabbed it. I felt much better back in boy’s clothes, even if they did fit a bit funny. But maybe I was just imagini-
“ERIC!”
I dashed out of my room, slamming the door behind me before stumbling down the stairs as fast as I could. My heart dropped the moment I saw my mom sitting on the couch and watching a soccer game with a beer in her hand. That means dad is probably in the kitchen making lunch. And that means I’m not home after all.
“You look nice sweetie, but what were you doing up there? You took longer than your father usually does.”
“I heard that!” he called from the kitchen.
"You won't hear it again if you manage to get out of the house early enough for us to get to church on time for once!" She giggled before nodding her head towards the kitchen.
"Go help your father pumpkin, before he starts trying to ask me for it. I'd probably burn the house down."
I headed towards the kitchen reluctantly, as reluctantly as I could possibly reluct. Why do I need to help in the kitchen? I never had to help mom before! Is dad just worse at cooking? Then again, I never wore a dress before either. It’s probably not worth wearing my brain out trying to understand everything that’s changed.
Mom ignored the tail between my legs act and just turned her attention back to the game, cheering as some woman made a goal.
As soon as I walked in, dad ambushed me with what had to be the pinkest apron ever made. He paused before he could pull it down over my neck.
"You're finally wearing that? I guess it was worth stacking it back on top of the pile every time."
I looked down, a bit confused, and pulled the bottom of my shirt out to get a good look at it. I wish I hadn’t
It wasn’t pink at least, but that didn’t make it any less…. I don’t even know how to describe it. All I know is that I wished I had taken an extra second to look before putting it on. It had some kind of sparkle looking things on it that spelled out “Boy Power!” in a girly cursive font. Rubbing my hand up and down flipped the sparkles upside down, changing the color of the words from purple to red
Before I could even move a muscle to try and take it off, dad spun me around and started putting on my apron. This version of him seems a lot more aware of what’s going through my head.
I’m really not a fan of that.
“There, now don’t you look cute? I have some sandwich fixings in the fridge already prepared. Can you put it all together for me while I work on dinner?”
As freaky and awful as this whole situation was, the mention of food reminded me I was just barely hungry enough to put those feelings aside if it meant that we got to eat a bit quicker. I gave dad a small nod which earned me a smile in return.
“Thanks sweetie. You can cut the sandwiches too, but no more of that ninja sword fight whatever thing you did last time. You’ll hurt yourself. Can I trust you?”
“Yeah dad, I’ll be careful.”
He nodded and turned back to cutting up pieces of raw chicken or something with a big knife, Yuck.
Meanwhile I went digging through the fridge and pulled out the sandwich stuff. I’m pretty sure that I found the right stuff anyway. If dad didn’t like it, then I guess he would just have to give me his egg salad sandwich and make himself something else.
I couldn’t quite reach the cabinet with all the plates and things but after a little bit of searching I found mom’s footstool. Then again, if her work in the kitchen today was anything to go by then I think it might only be my footstool in this world.
I kept my word and was as careful as I could to get out the plates and cups without making too much noise. Then I scooped the egg salad between some bread and cut them into quarters. Normally mom would cut off the crust, but I didn’t feel the need to do anything but the bare minimum. I could just eat around it.
“Dad!”
“Fu-reaking scared that bazeebes out of me! Don’t startle me like that Eric!” He admonished as he lifted up a finger that looked fine as far as I could tell. What was he so upset about?
“Sorry! Sandwiches are done. Can I go now?”
He went right back to cutting and dicing as he asked, “Did you clean up your mess?”
“Umm my mess?”
“I thought so. Clean up, that means wash the bowl, your knife, and wipe down the counter. Then pour us something to drink please. I should be finished up with this by then so we can all have lunch.”
‘What!? But I’m hungry! And the food is right here!’ I thought but didn’t say. This dad was even stricter than my real mom used to be, and I didn’t think he would care much for my argument, even though I knew I was right. Instead, I decided to settle for some grumbling protests as I dragged my stool over to the sink and started washing up. I only needed it to grab the dish soap from the back of the sink, but I was kind of liking the extra height, so I used it while I washed the dishes and wiped down the countertop too.
Dad gave me a look when I tossed my plate onto the kitchen table with a loud clatter that reminded me to be more careful with the rest. I went looking through the fridge and pulled out orange juice for me and dad, and some coffee that mom liked to have iced. I even put a few cubes in there for her. And since she complained about how the ice watered it down if you didn’t drink it fast enough, we have to eat now! Can’t argue with that logic!
“Mom! Lunch is ready!” I yelled, dashing back to the living room. Geez, all this running around cooking and stuff was really exhausting. It should be in the Olympics or something.
A small burp proved no problem to her drinking as she hurriedly finished off her beer and crushed the can before turning off the game. She was still dressed in her church clothes but had gotten rid of the tie. I guess guys and girls can all agree that those things stink.
“Wow this looks nice, thank you Jared.”
“Oh don’t thank me.” Dad replied as he finished washing down the sink. “Eric put this together all by himself!”
“I only put the stuff in the sandwiches though.”
“And cut them, poured our drinks, and cleaned up afterwards. All I did was cut a bunch of stuff up and mix it into a bowl. You put together most of this meal all by yourself.” He assured me.
“Well then, I can’t wait to try it. Any meal made by my little boy has got to be delicious.” mom gushed as she sat down.
I’d never gotten this much praise for doing my chores before. Mom or dad usually just paid me my allowance and that was it. I hoped I would get paid for this later too, but for now this was pretty nice. I smiled and hopped up onto my own seat. Maybe I’d do this once or twice when I got back to… well wherever I came from or something.
Dad wiped off his hands on his apron and walked by, untying mine and peeling it off to hang it with his by the oven.
I remembered the shirt I was wearing and felt embarrassed all over again, but mom and dad didn't seem to care past their initial bit of surprise. And I was hungry enough that I could wait to get this off and do a better check of my wardrobe for things I could actually wear.
Once dad finally sat down, we all joined hands and mom said grace.
Yes! Now we could dig in! And dig in I did. I could probably dig out a trench for an entire platoon of soldiers. That thought made me giggle, and that was the only pause to my chewing. I might have even forgotten to breathe.
"The food isn't going anywhere son." Mom promised, as dad just shook his head
"Well today it was getting in the car, maybe tomorrow he'll finally accept some lessons on table manners."
I choked down some of my sandwich with a chug of orange juice and burped. Mom seemed a bit amused, but dad definitely wasn't. It was going to be hard getting used to this acting like a girl thing. They wouldn't be able to realize what was going on if I didn’t act right, would they? With all the glaring dad was doing he might start to wonder. Obviously, I was doing a lot wrong.
"Sorry, I'm just really hungry. Doing stuff in the kitchen is pretty hard. Maybe it'd be easier with all of us next time?"
Dad looked over to mom, his glare changing targets for now. Phew
"At least someone appreciates how hard it is to keep this house running on all cylindericals."
She chuckled, "No dear, that’s not right. The saying is-"
Dad's glare hardened and I actually started to worry a hole might open up in mom's head.
Her laughter died and she quickly changed gears after coughing into her hand.
"I think you might just be getting ready for a growth spurt with the way you’re eating pumpkin. You are looking a bit more uh filled out around the middle."
"Betty! Don't say that! You'll give him some sort of complex!"
Another one? Just what I needed; things are complex enough already.
I pushed my plate away from myself a bit. Maybe if I lost a little weight, I'd make things less complicated instead.
Mom's eyes went wide. Dad's words and my actions seemed to click something in mom’s head and sent her backpedaling to try and fix whatever he’d triggered.
"No sweetie you're just gaining some weight! Uh I mean, it's not a bad thing. It just means you're going to shoot up even taller and more handsome soon. So really, it's a good thing! The fatter you get now-"
Her words finally stopped when dad grabbed her jaw and forced it shut.
"Not another word Betty."
Mom didn't need any further invitation to jump out of the hole that she dug for herself and left dad to refill it in her stead. She grabbed her iced coffee and sipped it while staring quietly at her food.
I'd seen this sort of comedy act between my mom and dad before, but the roles had always been reversed, and it never went this badly for my mom.
I couldn't help but start to laugh at this whole situation.
Mom flicked her eyes up to me. The anxiousness shining through and that just made me laugh even harder. She looked like a puppy begging for forgiveness.
Thankfully for her, dad joined in too when she gave him the same look.
My stomach realized that the flow of food had stopped and by the time we had all calmed down I grabbed my plate and decided to give it what it wanted, complexes or not.
“I guess you’ll have to put a larger limit on your credit card dear, we need to buy him some new clothes.” dad said before taking a small bite of his own meal.
“You just bought him some new things last week, didn’t you?”
“Yes but if he’s growing then we’ll have to replace some of his smaller things soon. You don’t want him running around in rags, do you? Boys can be very cruel at his age.”
Mom sighed, accepting defeat. Without any time to recover after that beatdown dad had put her through already, she didn’t really stand a chance. Maybe I should try and remember that trick.
“And that means you’ll have to come with me, mister. You can’t just lay around at home. And before you even ask, yes, you really do have to go. I need you to try things on so we know what size you are”
I bit back my words and swallowed them down with some more of my sandwich.
The rest of lunch was ok. Dad made mom promise to help with dinner and she kind of gave me the stink eye, but I could tell she wasn’t really mad. It just made me laugh a little more before I rushed back off to my room.
Extra: According to Greek mythology, the Amazons were a group of male hunters and warriors capable of surpassing women in wit, agility, archery, riding skills, and all manner of tactical planning. Their society was entirely closed off to women. They would only briefly meet with neighboring tribes for a month or two to reproduce and take in the children that had been conceived the prior year. The sons would then be taken in while the daughters would be left to be raised by the other tribes. Their actions flew in the face of beliefs at the time that men were incapable of fighting in more nuanced ways. The Amazons allegedly used cunning tactics and their riding abilities to great effect in battles, resulting in a fearsome reputation even among those who had only heard of their deeds through secondary or tertiary sources.
I spent about an hour after dinner looking through the stuff in my room. Eventually I realized that the only thing that was really the same between this room and mine were outward appearances like the dressers and the bed and everything. It turned out that they didn’t look identical after all but I was just too excited to spot the differences.
I did have some things that looked more like boy clothes, but they were hidden underneath a lot of girly stuff. The stuff that I could find that looked boyish was still kind of wrong. It was all too tight or cut weirdly or made of really soft material. Most of my toys were similarly replaced by girl things, dolls and little makeup kits and things like that. I found most of those things shoved into the back of my closet and I was fine with letting them stay there forever.
There was one thing that was kind of cool though. The closet door has a mirror that stretches all the way from the top of the door to the bottom. I think they’re called full length mirrors? Mom has one like this, or my original mom did anyway.
It was kind of fun being able to see myself completely instead of just my top half like in the upstairs bathroom. I’d already tossed that girly kid shirt back into the drawer and pulled out a blank white t-shirt instead. It was pretty gender neutral except for the bit of frilly stuff around the shoulder cuffs and collar. My shorts definitely looked, well, shorter than usual. A little bit tighter around my waist too.
I turned this way and that in front of my mirror to get a better look at myself in my new clothes.
“Do I look like a girl?” I mumbled as I looked myself over.
“I dunno, I think you look pretty much the same as me.” said a very familiar voice
I looked up from my waist to see my reflection in the mirror.
Two of them!
“What!”
“Shh! Be quiet or you'll have mom and dad barging in here!” my double shushed me. He was dressed a lot more normally. Actually, he was dressed in my clothes! And covered in mud! He looked like he’d just finished crawling through some sort of swampy obstacle course.
“Who are you? How- there’s two of me?”
“Well two of me from my perspective.” he said with a grubby smile while looking me up and down the same way I was examining him.
“Nice blouse by the way. Did you have fun trying on all my clothes? This place is a mess.”
“I wasn’t trying them all on. I just wanted to see what you had is all." I said in my defense, keeping my eyes on him and not the pile of clothing strewn across my bed.
"Did you have fun staining all my stuff with mud? Mom’s gonna be mad at you. Doubly mad for tracking it inside and getting it all over the carpet.” was my best comeback.
My double shrugged his shoulders and chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I did have fun, and I’m pretty sure she’s just happy to finally see you playing with the other boys in the neighborhood. That’s what she told me anyway. But that’s a good point, I should take a bath or something.”
He sniffed himself and scrunched up his nose before turning around and heading back out.
“Wait, wait, wait! We need to figure out what’s going on! Or switch back or something! Isn’t this your room, and your parents, and everything? And this hair I have too! I'm in your body! We got swapped around!"
That stopped him for a second, but he didn’t turn back. “Look, me, whoever you are, or whatever you are. I’ve got no idea how we switched or how we could switch back. I’m not INTERESTED in coming back. Have fun with your fashion show.”
I blinked in shock, wasting enough time for him to walk off and closed the door behind him.
“W-wait!” I yelled and ran after my double only to find that he had vanished into thin air just suddenly as he had arrived.
“Is everything ok up there?” Mom called, looking up at me through the empty staircase.
“.... Everything is fine!” I yelled back before quickly running back into my room and slamming the door closed behind me.
How could he just do that? Run away and leave me here! Those were my parents, my clothes, and my life that he was messing with!
What if I was stuck here? What if that was my only chance to get back? What if he ruined my life and made it impossible for me to live it even if I did return home? And if I wasn't convinced enough already, now I could be sure that this wasn't a dream. It’s all real… and I’m trapped!
I fell onto my bed and buried my head into my pillow while tears burned in my eyes and my lungs locked up in pain from trying to hold back my sobs. Why did he leave? What am I supposed to do now!? Am I really just stuck in this missed up world forever!?!?
I shot my head back up as my door creaked open. Maybe God was giving me a second chance after all!
But it wasn’t the other me, it was just my dad.
His dad.
Whatever. He wasn’t mine and that’s what mattered. I lost my parents, my home, everything! It was right there, and I let it get away. Who knows when or even if I’d ever get another chance?
“What’s wrong sweetie?” his dad asked gently, sitting down on my bed, and wrapping an arm around me.
I shoved him away.
“Nothing is wrong! Leave me alone!”
“Eric!”
I looked up at him, expecting to see anger but not seeing any. The only thing showing on his face was hurt.
I shouldn’t care. After all, he wasn’t my real dad. But he looked like my dad did and sounded like him too. I couldn't hold it back anymore and just burst into tears. I didn’t push him away when he pulled me into a hug this time.
The hug was different from the ones I was used to getting from dad. He wasn’t smelly or sweaty like my dad usually was from working outside. He smelled really nice instead. And it wasn’t as soft as a hug from mom, but it wasn’t as hard as the ones from my dad either. The dress he was wearing was silky smooth on my face and I could feel him gently rubbing my back through my own soft shirt. I think he was talking too but I couldn’t hear him over my own sobs.
I finally pulled away again after a little while and tried to contain my sniffles and snuffles enough to speak.
“Sorry dad.” I choked out
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. There’s nothing quite like a good cry to get all the little nasties out.” he reassured me while dabbing at the trail of tears along my cheeks with some extra fabric from his dress. It wasn’t the one that he wore to church. This one looked a lot more relaxed. It hung much more loosely on him and had shorter sleeves that showed off his forearms. The fabric was colored a dark blue and glittered a bit in the light as he moved. Would it be weird to say that my dad looked pretty in a dress? Because he did, even with the front of it spotted by a big puddle of tears.
“Feeling a bit better?”
I nodded slightly, and he smiled while gently patting my cheek.
“Good. Now I won’t make you tell me what’s bothering you, but your mother and I noticed that you were acting really out of it today. You didn’t even try to fight Sally when she grabbed your hair. Now that isn’t an invitation to go and pick fights with anyone, but we’re a little worried since you don’t have the same spunk you usually do. Does that make sense?"
“I guess so? But, umm, nothing’s bothering me. I’m just… just tired, I guess. It’s been a long day.”
Dad didn’t look very convinced but nodded anyway.
“Alright, well if that’s all it is then make sure you get plenty of rest tonight. And if you ever need to talk, your mother and I are always here. No matter how old you get you’ll always be our little boy, and we’ll always love you. You can talk to us about anything. Ok?”
Tears started to make my vision blurry again, but I didn’t fight them this time. I gave dad a tight hug and he returned it. I hoped wearing girls’ clothes and stuff wasn’t making my brain all mushy. This was getting a little embarrassing even if it did make me feel a lot better.
We parted again and I turned down his offer to hang around and keep me company, or to help him and mom go shopping for some extra things they needed for dinner. I appreciated the hugs but I needed some time to think about stuff that I knew I couldn’t talk to either of them about. They’d probably put me in a padded room somewhere.
“I’ll be ok dad. I promise. Crying really did help a lot.”
“Ok then, I’ll get out of your hair for now. I just want you to know that I’m proud of you for everything that you did today.”
“I didn’t do anything?” I asked said confusedly.
He smiled and shook his head.
“Oh yes you did! You didn’t get all violent with Sally or whine about not getting to play soccer with the girls after church. You were a huge help with lunch too! Maybe it doesn't seem like much to you, but to me it looks like you're finally embracing your masculinity a bit more. I’m just… happy to see you starting to mature.”
Well that was a bombshell. If masculinity means wearing dresses then that means that I’m even more girly than that other version of me?
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about anything?” Dad’s smile dropped a little, probably at my lack of enthusiasm over his compliment.
“No, I’m just going to take a nap. I’m really tired dad.”
“Well alright. If you're sure. We shouldn’t be gone too long. We can wake you up when we get back if you want?”
A shake of my head made his smile grow even thinner.
“..... But could you wake me up for dinner if I’m still asleep? I want to try some of mom’s cooking.”
That seemed to make him feel a bit better.
“Sure, I’ll keep a close eye on her to make sure she doesn’t accidentally poison us. Sweet dreams sweetie.”
I gave him a small wave as he shut the door and then laid back down in bed. I had no idea crying was so exhausting, or maybe it was from freaking out internally all day. I closed my eyes and just hoped that that mom wasn’t as bad of a cook as she and dad kept saying.
Both moms liked iced coffee and soccer so maybe their cooking skills were also the same?
It was a minor miracle that I fell asleep with all those thoughts buzzing in my brain. I guess I really was that tired. I napped for a while and only woke up about half an hour before dinner. I used that bit of time to look at my bookshelf now that I’d already seen most of everything else in my room. I don't think I'd ever even heard of these authors before.
At least there was one good thing about this whole universe flip. A whole new world of books to read.
I only had enough time to pick out some of the ones that I most wanted to take a look at before dad called me down for dinner. We had chicken parm, like real Italian food! His side of the family was from Italy a couple generations ago, although he doesn’t really look like it.
Unlike my original dad, this one knows a ton of recipes by heart. They were good enough that even mom couldn’t ruin them. She really was that bad in the kitchen apparently and kept dad on his toes trying to stop things from getting too out of hand.
Mom didn’t look too sorry about it though. I think some of her mistakes might’ve been on purpose so she wouldn’t be asked to help cook again for a while. But she didn’t call me fat this time while we ate so I was willing to let it go and not rat her out to dad
With a little bit of work, they convinced me to watch a movie with them after we ate, and it was actually a lot of fun.
It was also reeeeeeally weeeeeird watching someone that looked like dad cuddling with my mom and feeding her popcorn like some lovestruck lady from a TV drama. Watching a role reversed version of toy story with the only guy toy being Bopeep was just the icing on the cake. The whole thing was like something from a fever dream, but it helped distract my mind. My brain kept comparing it to the original instead of just enjoying it which made my brain feel exhausted? It’s hard to describe. I guess my teachers are right when they say the brain is a muscle. They say that people don’t use them enough, but I felt like mine was being run ragged right now. I was ready to pass out towards the end of the movie despite the nap I took earlier.
I kind of stumbled upstairs and took a quick shower but spent a lot longer than normal trying to dry my hair. I didn’t realize that longer hair took so much time to dry! It’s obvious when you think about it, but I’d never had to think about it before. Not even once!
Rubbing it around harder just got it tangled up and didn't seem to do much. Eventually dad popped in and helped brush and blow dry it for me. He ‘reminded’ me that we have little shower hat things that I can use to keep my hair dry. Of course it was pink and covered in a bunch of pictures of soap bubbles and flowers, but I’d definitely have to use it next time. Or maybe I could get a haircut? Then again, if that other me who seemed so…. boyish couldn’t convince mom and dad to get his- my- our haircut then I doubt that I’d be able to either.
Noticing that I was ready to fall over at any moment, dad quickly hustled me into my room. I didn’t even think to complain when he pulled another little dress-like thing over my head. It felt so soft and nice that I couldn’t really care less what it was or what it looked like. After that he tucked me in, had mom pop by my room to say goodnight, and I was out like a light.
Fun fact: Did you know that the color pink was originally considered girlish, and blue was used almost exclusively for boys?
“In old catalogs and books, pink was the color for little girlss” said Leatrice Eiseman, a color expert and executive director of the Pantone Color Institute.
“It was related to the father color of red, which was ardent and passionate and more active, more aggressive. Even though you reduce the shade level, it was a color that was associated with girls.” Eiseman said.
An article titled “Pink or Blue,” published in the trade journal The Infants’ Department in 1918, said that the generally accepted rule is pink for girls and blue for boys. “The reason is that pink being a decided and stronger color is more suitable for the boy.” it said.
Just think! Girls could be playing with pink GI Janes! How crazy would that be?
Alarm clocks are like one of those double sword edge things. They’re loud and annoying so you have to turn them off to go back to sleep, but mom and dad are going to know that you woke up if you do that. Then they’ll come in to force you to get up themselves. There’s no way to actually get any more sleep. You’re doomed the moment you wake up.
I fought against my bed to get my eyes open, squinting up at my white ceiling and the surrounding soft blue walls. I reached over to the little table by my bedside with my last bit of strength and shut off the alarm.
Even after all of that, I was still half asleep. Knowing that my bed was the only thing standing between me and another day at school didn’t make me want to get up any sooner either. My eyes drifted shut while I wiggled deeper into the covers… and then they shot open again.
I wiggled and squirmed a little more. These definitely weren’t my pajamas.
Everything snapped back into focus and threw me into wide awake panic.
Somehow school sounded like an even worse thing than it already was. I was in some weird gender-flipped world where girls played football and boys danced ballet. School was hard enough already! How would I survive this nightmare?
Could I pretend to be sick? Maybe. Yeah, that could work. I’d have to make sure I talked to mom if I wanted to pull it off. Dad already showed that he’s way too perceptive.
“Mommmmm.’ I groaned, pulling the covers up to cover half of my face. I waited a few moments and didn’t hear anything.
“Mommmmm!” I tried a bit louder.
“Yes pumpkin?” she yelled back.
Ok good, I got her attention and so far, there was no sign of dad. He must be making breakfast or something and can’t even hear me. Perfect! I’ve just got to keep going. “I don’t feel good! I think I need to stay home today!”
“What!?”
“I don’t feel good!!! I’m sick!!”
“Sorry what!? I can’t hear you!”
“I said- dang it.” Where the heck was she? Listening to sports on full volume first thing in the morning?? I hopped out of bed and opened my door.
She was standing right outside and lifted a hand to my forehead. “You feel ok to me, and it looks like you got out of bed ok. Doesn’t sound like you have a sore throat either with all that yelling.”
“What? How!?”
“You know I used to be a kid too right? Besides, nobody feeling that sick could have the energy for all that shouting.” Mom giggled and leaned down to kiss my head.
“Sorry pumpkin, maybe I’ll let you off some other time but not today. Go get dressed, ok?”
Holding back the pout I felt trying to force itself onto my lips I nodded and stepped back, letting her close the door in my face. All the comfort from last night was gone. I felt like I had lost my life and was being thrown into a new one all over again. How was I supposed to deal with school when I could barely stop myself from screaming in frustration?
“I’ll talk your dad into making waffles today! I’m sure it won’t be a problem!”
‘Yeah maybe not for you, not like you’re going to be the one making them’. I thought to myself. But whatever, I couldn’t be mad at her. At least she was trying to make my morning a little better, even if she had no idea why I needed some cheering up. It’s not like I could just tell them I was a boy who lived like their version of a girl, but that’s how all boys are from where I was from? Ugh I was going to give myself a headache and I hadn’t even had my first class yet.
I looked down at my baby blue night dress thing and decided to keep it on until I picked out some clothes. The idea of standing around in nothing but my underwear felt like it would be even more embarrassing, especially since I doubt that there was a pair of briefs in my room that I had missed last night.
Now what am I supposed to wear? Normally I would check the temperature to see if I need something warm. That should be a good way to start and might make me feel a bit more normal. I moved my curtains out of the way and pressed my hands against the glass. Way colder than yesterday. No way was I going to be wearing shorts or a T-shirt. And I definitely wasn't going to wear another dress if I could help it. There goes most of my options. I pressed my face closer to the glass, trying to get a good look at the sky to see if it was going to rain. It looked ok for now, so I’d probably be alright with anything warm enough.
That’s when I noticed our neighbor across the street also had a second story window open and some guy was getting ready for school in a rush. When he saw me, he stopped and just started staring which kind of gave me the creeps. To be fair, I guess I was just staring right back at him. I tried offering a wave and that seemed to break him free of whatever frozen time loop he was stuck in. Instead of giving me a wave back though he gave me a thumbs up and then spoke to the side without looking away. I assume to his brother since another boy ran up to the window and started staring at me as well. I couldn’t quite figure out who they were from his distance. I didn’t remember our neighbors across the street having any boys...
That’s right, they didn’t have any sons! They had two daughters! Allison and Melissa, twins who were a couple years older than me…. Twins who were probably having a blast watching me stand by my window in nothing but a slightly see through night dress.
I flushed red all the way down to the tips of my toes and threw my curtains closed as fast as I could, accidentally popping one of the rings off of the pole they hung from in the process. It’d be bad enough getting caught half naked by anyone but dressed like I was and knowing what they must’ve been thinking about while crowding around the window made it so much more embarrassing. Were girls always like that? Or was this another weird thing I'd have to worry about while I was in this world.
After taking a minute to calm down, I looked back over to my closet, took a deep breath and pulled it open. I still had a mission and if I didn't do it myself-
"Eric! Breakfast is almost ready! Get down here!"
-that would happen.
"I'll be down in a minute dad! Just trying to figure out what to wear!" I shouted downstairs. Geez, when had I ever needed to say that before? Why was there so much stuff in my closet! I never have this many clothes in my original closet.
I finally managed to find some jeans that should work. And if I could find a sweater that wasn't pink, fuzzy, or covered in cats and unicorns-
"Eric!"
I groaned internally. When did everyone in this house go deaf!?
"I'll be down in a second!!" I screamed as loud as I could and pulled some jeans off of their hanger and pulled them on, finally I could take off the dress/shirt thing.
Like the pants I found before, they felt a little bit tight around my waist and butt which reminded me of that shopping trip that dad wanted to take me on. Maybe I could grab some stuff from the boys- uh girls section. Some normal shorts and things if they had any.
Thinking of dad made me remember something else too. I pushed the long rack of long sleeves shirts, sweaters and dresses out of the way. He said he has been putting things that he wanted me to wear towards the front, which means…..
"Jackpot." I said with a grin before pulling out a very normal looking red sweatshirt. Adding to all that and a pair of socks and I was done. I thought I finally looked like a guy besides the fact that the little socks that barely came to my ankle. Why were they so small? Maybe they were the wrong size?
Dad still hadn't yelled at me again, so I must've made good time. Then I finally looked back at the alarm clock I had ignored since I first got up. I only had like 10 minutes left to eat and catch the bus!
I ran out of my room and down the stairs, slowing down when I got hit by the soothing smell of fresh waffles.
"Daaaad why didn't you tell me it was so late?" I complained before grabbing a waffle off the plate on the kitchen table, dipping it in some syrup and taking a bite.
"You're the one who only gives yourself thirty minutes in the morning to get up. I figured if you had enough time to start picking through your clothes that I didn't want to bother you." Dad rebutted from the kitchen sink where he was cleaning out the waffle iron.
Thirty minutes? What kind of psycho only gives themselves half an hour in the morning to get up! It usually takes me half that just to get out of bed. I'd have to change that alarm as soon as I got back from school.
"Well I've only got a couple minutes to catch the bus! Bye dad!"
"Bye sweetie! Have a good- wait a minute! Come here young man."
I turned around and ran over to my dad, bouncing on my heels. "What? I gotta go!"
"Not with your hair looking like that you're not! Did you even touch it this morning? You look like you got into a fight with your bed and lost."
He grabbed my head for a moment, then let go and pushed me towards the sink.
"Put down that waffle and clean off your fingers. I need to go grab a hairbrush."
"But I'm going to be late!" Geez, it couldn't be that bad. Didn’t he brush my hair last night? I put down the rest of my waffle, into my stomach, with a single large bite before rinsing off my fingers. Dad returned a few seconds later with a brush that was wrapped around like a spiky cylinder. It looked like a weapon! And it felt like one too!
"Ahf! Ah erfs!
"Don’t talk with your mouth full Eric! It wouldn't hurt if you took better care of your hair. We've only got a minute and I need to get all of these knots out." He yanked it through my hair again and all I could really compare it to was Sally grabbing my hair at church. I didn’t have any other experience with having my hair tanked on before. This felt like someone was trying to hang from my head instead of just pulling on it though.
After a few more screeches from me, and almost choking to death on my waffle, dad finally stopped.
"There, much better. Now hurry along or you'll be late." He said as he gave me a hug that turned into a push to get me off my chair.
"Bye dad! Bye mom!"
"What? Mommy doesn't get a goodbye kiss anymore?" Mom asked with a grin from the sofa where she was watching the morning news.
I diverted course a bit to give her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Love you mommy."
And with that I blasted out the front door like a rocket, dashing to the bus stop at the end of the block.
I completely missed the shocked look on mom’s face as she rubbed her cheek. Dad said it was pretty funny. It wasn't on purpose, but I consider it payback against my double for making everyone think I'm some sort of muddy pig back in my world.
I got to the stop just as the bus rounded a corner and started down our street. I was panting like a dog, but I'd made it.
The other kids kept their distance from me, including Allison and Melissa. That didn’t mean I was safe though. The twins kept giving me plenty of looks and whispering to the only other girl at the stop. There was one other boy, I think his name was Adam. He was a bookworm like me, so I never got to know him well and it seemed like that was still the case. We both held back and let the girls jostle and push their way onto the bus before trying to get on ourselves.
Our bus driver, my bus driver I mean, used to be this older guy that didn’t really talk much. He kinda looked sick all the time and on my first day at middle school I was scared he was going to die at the wheel or something. This person was pretty much the opposite. She was an overweight woman with a nice complexion and a cane. She gave both the girls and us some bright smiles as we boarded. “Morning. Good morning. Morning you two.” she said, nodding at us when we passed.
Now I came to yet another problem. Where was I supposed to sit? I didn’t really have many friends at school. Being two years ahead and not very social made that pretty much impossible to fix. Finding a seat felt like an even larger challenge than normal with everyone gender flipped around like this. How was I supposed to interact with a bunch of guys who thought like girls, or girls that treated guys like girls? God this was so confusing.
“Don’t stand there all day sweetheart.” The bus driver admonished me. “I can’t start driving until you sit down.”
“Oh, uh, sorry!” I walked down the aisle slowly looking at everyone’s faces. It felt like everyone was staring back at me. I was holding everything up. They were all watching me. I could feel my heart beginning to race. Oh no no no! What am I supposed to do!?
“Eric!”
A girl called from behind while waving at me frantically to grab my attention. I quickly changed course and jumped into the seat next to them, breaking my line of sight with the rest of the bus. A second later I felt a jolt as the bus started to roll forward. Phew.
The girl laughed a little. “Geez, you walked right by me. I thought you were gonna walk to the back of the bus and jump out the back door.”
I took off my backpack and dropped it between my feet on the floor. “I really might’ve. I wasn’t sure where to go.” And now I was even more nervous.
I mean I guess I’m better off sitting next to a friendly stranger than an unfriendly one, but she didn’t look like the type of person that would normally give me the time of day. Her skin was pale, and her long black hair was highlighted with greens and blues, twisted up into a long braid. She was wearing an expensive looking white puffy jacket, boots, a long skirt and those long sock things. Leggings or tights or something. Her backpack rested in her lap, covered in tons of colorful pins and stickers, most of them had little green men or stars, planets, and other space related things.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Wellllll sorryyyyy I’m not noticeable enough for you. Maybe I can add that to the list of reasons dad should let me use some makeup. He STILL says I’m not old enough for anything other than lipgloss. Can you believe that? I’m already 12 years old! I’m not asking for bicep implants or anything. And Jerry Fisher is already using a beard shadow volumizer. He looks soooo stupid! He doesn’t even have facial hair! Plus he looks like he just dunks his face in it. Super unflattering.”
There wasn’t much I could do but sit there in stunned silence. The avalanche of words that just got dumped on me from a stranger that I couldn’t believe was giving me any attention at all was bad but the whiplash back to my current reality that this girly looking person was actually a boy was even more unnerving.
“Sorry Eric, I know you’re not super into cosmetics and stuff yet.” She, no he, smiled and shrugged. ”But speaking of, I like your hair clip. It looks really cu- uh cool on you.”
A quick pat down of my head helped me find what she was talking about. I felt a little plastic bumpy thing. Some of my hair fell back into my face when I pulled out the clip and I could finally see what looked like a little white flower with some sort of clip that I guess must be what holds it in place.
“Dad must’ve done that this morning. I forgot to brush my hair and he wouldn’t let me leave the house until he fixed it or whatever.”
“Right, you forgot to.” He chuckled a bit before holding out his hand for the hair clip. “It really does look nice on you though. Want me to put it back in?”
When he saw me hesitate he added “Oh come on, you can trust me, I’d never do wrong by my BFF.”
Trust you? I don’t even know you! But I guess she- he knew me, or the other version of me.
“Uh… ok, sure.”
That got a very big grin out of her- him as she- he! yanked my head around and fiddled with my hair. Handing over the hair clip to her felt a bit like giving away the key to my boyhood but, at least one of us was happy. I didn’t want to completely ruin my double’s life and upset everyone he knew. Plus… I’d never had a best friend before and I kind of wanted to enjoy that, even if they were a girl- dang it no he’s a boy. It was going to be really hard to remember that. He looked so girly!
Suddenly I felt something click in my head and I completely zoned out as this person finished with my hair and started trying to talk to me again. I was way too wrapped up in my sudden insight to really hear anything though. If I was going to make it through today and who knows how many more days in this world then I had to stop thinking with, like, my normal logic or whatever. These weren’t girly looking boys, they were just boys looking like boys. This kid wasn’t acting like a girl, he was acting like a boy. The girls weren’t being rough like boys, they were just acting like immature girls. Everyone else was acting totally normal. I was the one acting and looking weird, trying to dress up like a girl and thinking like one. I was just making myself look like a.. a tomgirl or something. Dresses are for boys, it’s the girls that would be weird if they tried to wear them.
Dresses are for boys.
I just had to practice remembering that.
“Ow!” I was brought out of my thoughts by a sharp jab to my arm by a manicured looking nail.
“Earth to Eric? Hello? Geez, if my weekend was that boring you could just tell me.”
“No sorry, I was just thinking about some stuff. I wasn’t trying to ignore you.”
“You were thinking? Wow something crazy must’ve happened. You’ve gotta tell me what you were up to over the weekend!” He laughed.
I cracked a smile and laughed too. “What’s THAT supposed to mean! My weekend was boring. I didn’t do anything.”
An older looking girl poked her head up over the seat behind us. “Oh that’s not what I heard. It sounds like you were pretty busy to me. Hey Eric, Hey Brandon.”
“Oh Madison! Hi! Where’d you hear that?”
“The Ferguson twins said you were uh flashing them this morning and stuff.” Both her and Brandon slid their eyes over to me with bated breath.
“What!? No!” I yelled, hoping that the heat on my cheeks wasn’t visible.
“But they said-”
“Whatever they said was a lie, obviously. Allison and Melissa are just being jerks.” Brandon jumped in. “Right Eric?”
I nodded my head a little and Brandon continued. “He doesn’t even LIKE girls yet, so if they saw anything it’s because they were spying on him like a couple of creeps. You should be bothering them, not him. I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.
Now it was Madison's turn to blush. “I didn’t mean it like that Brandon, I just-”
“Just what?” He demanded, crossing his arms and glaring at her.
‘Uh… nothing.” she responded before slinking back into the seat behind us. She whispered loudly to someone else. “He didn’t do nothing; the Ferguson’s are full of it.”
I collapsed back against the sticky fake leather bus seat. “Thanks Brandon. How’d you do that?”
“Well girls aren’t too hard to deal with when you know what to do. You just need a little confidence.” he said in a conspiratorial tone. “Now, what happened?”
“What? Nothing happened. I just…. Sort of opened up my curtains when I got up and they were looking.”
“Oh my gosh, did you change in front of them?”
“No!” I yelled back with a whisper. “I closed my curtains when I noticed them!”
Brandon cracked a smile and started to titter. I gave him my best glare, trying to channel my inner dad, but he just laughed even harder.
“What are you laughing at!”
“I’m just imagining the looks on their faces! They were probably waiting for you to barge into their house and tear their heads off after you closed your curtains!”
Ok now I was just confused. Why would they think that? Was the other me really that violent???
“Don’t worry Eric, if I hear anybody else talking about it then I’ll tell them that those girls were spying on you or something. That’s a lot more believable than a sallygirl like you doing something stupid like that.”
Sallygirl… oh! No wonder my double was a mess when I saw him a few hours after our swap. He must’ve been acting like the girls here, rough and stuff. That would explain a lot like the way my parents were acting, and Melissa and Allison gossiping about me. I guess I lucked out a bit. People wouldn’t think it was weird to see me acting like a girl or not knowing a lot of boy stuff. Is that why the other me didn’t want to come back? How was I going to convince him to-
"ERIC!"
"What!?" I almost fell off of my seat and threw an angry look to Brendon.
"You keep ignoring me." He said with a pout on his lips. My glare really needed some improvement. 0-2 so far.
"If you dont wanna talk to me or something just say so."
Uh oh. "No Brendon, I just got a lot to think about, that's all "
"Like what?"
"Personal stuff."
"And you don't think you can tell me? You, me, and Christian promised to talk to each other about everything. Are you mad at me? You could've told me if you didn't want the hair clip back in."
"Wait, wait, it's not that big of a deal, really!"
"So there is something going on! What is it?"
God this guy was tricky! I had to tell him something quick before he led me to start spilling everything. But what was I supposed to say?
'Sorry Brandon, I don't actually know you, I'm from a different universe. Haha, I know, crazy right?'
Crazy, that's what they'd call me before the doctor filled me up with giggle juice at the hospital!
I took a deep breath. All I had to do was give him a half truth. It worked on dad. Something just enough to satisfy him that I was dealing with something big and secrety.
"Ok. You know how I’m sort of….girly?”
He nodded with a faint smile improving the upset look on his face. “Yeah, I kinda noticed that.”
“Right, well…. Dad mentioned yesterday that I was acting a little more mature. I guess I've just been thinking about growing up, trying to be a bit more manly and stuff.”
"This is you trying to be more manly?" Brian asked unconvinced, looking over my jeans and plain oversized hoodie.
"Uh well I don't have a lot of stuff……. A lot of the stuff I have looks like it's for bo- girls. And the other things are definitely for kids? It’s stuff that dad has been trying to get me to wear for forever. I can't wear that stuff to school, you know? I'd look like a dork."
Slowly, Brandon began to nod his head. "Yeah, I know you fight with your dad a lot over clothes and stuff. I remember him saying something like 'you should wear something at least once before throwing it away!'."
"Exactly! Yeah!" I encouraged him.
"Hmm… you know, I do have some stuff that might fit you that I don't really wear anymore."
Now it was my turn to give Brandon another look over.
"Umm… that's alright. Dad said we needed to get some more clothes anyway since I'm probably going to go through a growth spurt soon."
I swear I saw a cartoony glimmer flash in Brandon's eyes as he asked. "You're going shopping? When?"
"I- I don't know? He didn't say, just sometime soon…. I'm afraid to ask, but why?"
"Because I want to come along! Duh! If you really want to get the best view of what it's like to be a guy, you need an expert. And no offense to your dad but old people don't really have a clue what's cool any more. Going with him does give us a better chance of getting some cute stuff though. Like my mom is always telling me 'You are not stepping out of this house dressed like that young man!'. But with your dad I'm sure we'll be able to get you at least some nice stuff. Nothing too bad though, don’t worry, I mean you’re only 10! No offense, you just act super mature that I forget sometimes. We should invite Christian too! Strength in numbers and all, right?”
Oh my god. Did this boy even breathe?
"Right, well I'll let you know. It just feels like a lot is happening at once… I'm kind of scared."
"Yeah, it feels like you go from being a little kid to an adult super quick." Brandon said a bit wistfully as he reached out and put an arm around me, pulling me in for a hug.
"But if you think of it as an adventure then you can balance out the being scared by being really excited. Plus, if things do go bad you're not all alone, ya know?"
I nodded my head and returned his hug. "Ditto, for you…. And Christian too." Even if I had no clue who that was.
We continued to talk the rest of the way to school after breaking up the hug.
Alright, he did most of the talking, but I liked it better that way. I didn't want to risk him realizing that I had no clue who he was. Asking him about the pins on his bag got him into a big talk about astronomy and aliens, or 'extra terrestrials' as he insisted they should be called. Aliens is too silly and makes people think of little green men. I thought it was kind of a weird objection when he had more than a few green, blobby creatures on his bag, but whatever.
I was sure I could still hear some whispers about me as we got off the bus and I hoped Brandon was right about nobody buying the rumors. But I had a feeling that our bus dropping us off at school was like throwing a lit match into a pile of kindling. This might be a rough start to my new school life here.
If I knew how true that was back at that moment, I might have turned around and just ran back home.
Fun Fact! Martin I (18 February 1516 – 17 November 1558), also known as Martin Tudor, and as "Bloody Martin" by his Protestant opponents, was King of England and Ireland from July 1553 and Queen of Spain from January 1556 until his death in 1558. He is best known for his vigorous attempt to reverse the English Reformation, which had begun during the reign of his father, Harriot VIII. His attempt to restore to the Church the property confiscated in the previous two reigns was largely thwarted by Parliament, but during his five-year reign, Martin had over 280 religious dissenters burned at the stake in the Martian persecutions.
Luckily I had this chapter alreay written! My keyboard is having some problem so it might be a bit before I get the next one out! Sorry in advance!