July 4, 2023

Sherry crept up to her house, she was off work early and wanted to surprise her son. Her boss didn’t close early very often, so he wouldn’t be expecting her, and she was bringing home some take out. When she opened the door, she saw a girl in a blue chiffon dress go streaking up the stairs. “My son has a girl over? He’s not allowed to have anyone over while he’s home alone, much less a girl!” she thought.

“Brandon! Get your butt down here right now, and bring your friend with you. You are in big trouble mister,” she said, not realizing just how prophetic those words would be.

She heard some very tentative footsteps on the stairs and the girl started walking down; with her head down so far, Sherry could hardly see her face. The girl looked to be about 13 like her son, with long blonde hair. When she reached the bottom, she looked up and softly mumbled something.

“Who are yo… Brandon?”

“Hi Mom.”

“Wha… You-you are… Why… Y-you’re in a dress?” she stammered.

“This is me, Mom. I didn’t expect you home yet, but I guess my secret is out. I’m a girl, Mom. My name is Sylvia now.”

Sherry stumbled over to the couch and collapsed. “Am I dreaming? If so, I need to wake up from this nightmare.”

“Mom, I’ve known for a while now that I’m really a girl. I’ve always felt wrong, I’ve always wished I had been born a girl, but I know now that I am a girl, I was just born in the wrong body.”

“Stop it! You are not a girl, you are my son!

“Mom,” he said as he sat down on the couch while smoothing his dress under him, “I am a girl, I was born a girl.”

“Brandon!” she said a bit hysterically, “You are just confused, all of this woke propaganda has confused you. There are only two sexes, and you are a boy.”

“Mom…”

“Don’t ‘Mom’ me young man! I don’t care what you want to pretend to be, in my house you will not do that! I will not have my son prancing around like some kind of sissy! You are my son, and you will always be my son. Now go to your room and get your ass dressed like a normal person. And you better bring those… things… to me, they are going in the trash!”

Brandon turned away and trudged up the stairs. “Is this the Twilight Zone or something? I can’t believe it. My son is trying to tell me he is really a girl! Admittedly, he’s a just a little guy, but then puberty hasn’t started yet. Maybe he’ll be like his dad; he didn’t start growing until he was in high school. I should probably make him cut his hair, that long blonde hair could have him being called a girl at school, which could cause this delusion. I'm glad I came home early tonight, I have to nip this shit in the bud. I need a drink!” she thought, anxiously.

Sherry poured herself a brandy and sat down at the kitchen table. “I don’t know where I went wrong, should I have remarried after his father left us? Did he need a male influence in his life? It has been just the two of us since he was three.”

“Mom, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” Brandon tried out in his room. “Aarrgh, I can’t say that, I’m not sorry! This is me, I’m not some hairy muscle-bound moron scratching my butt and farting while I watch football. But now, when I change out of my clothes like usual, I can't keep them.”

Brandon came back down the stairs after a bit, handing Sherry the dress. Without a word, he just turned to go back back upstairs, walking very slowly.

“Brandon, I don’t know what to think about what just happened. I need some time, but you must realize that I can’t just let this go, I will talk with you in the morning about this. For now, let’s just let this go and we can have some dinner, I brought home some of your favorite Chinese take-out .”

“I’m not hungry,” he said sullenly, heading back upstairs.

“You come back here this instant, we are not going to waste this food.”

With a huge sigh, Brandon turned back around and sat down as Sherry set out some food. He picked at it a bit, eating a little before he asked to be excused and went to his room. Sherry went out and threw the dress in the trash, done with it.

In the morning, when she went to wake him up, she noticed that his eyes were red as if he had not slept. She told him he was grounded for the next two months and had better be on his best behavior, but that this would be the last time that she would bring this up if it never happened again.

August 11, 2023

“Brandon, get down here please.”

“Yes, Mom?”

“It’s a little bit early, but you have been very well behaved, so you can end your grounding today. Your friends called just now, wanting to know if you are still grounded, so I told them you can go with them to the movies. Go get dressed in something nice and buy your friends some dinner before the movie, here’s my card. I love you son. I know it has been hard on him these past 6 weeks or so, but it is for his own good. I can’t let him ruin his life with this cross-dressing crap.”

“Finally. I wish I could go out as myself, but I haven’t even been able to come out to my best friends yet. I’m terrified that they would react just like my Mom, and I don’t think I could take that from them too. I’ll probably have to wait until I graduate high school, but that is still so very far away. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to wait that long,” thought Brandon.

“Brandon, your friends are here,” Sherry yelled up the stairs to him. “Have a good time, be home by 11.”

“OK, Mom,” he replied, going out to meet his friends. Jason’s Mom was waiting outside in her car, along with Jason, Terry and Robert.

“Oh, man, it’s good to see you Bran, I was beginning to think those two months were going to last forever!” said Robert, “I hope you appreciate that we waited for you to see the new ‘Mission Impossible’.”

While he appreciated that, the movie he really wanted to see was “Barbie”. He just didn’t think the guys would want to see that, and was afraid of what they might think of him to even ask. “This is getting on my nerves. As long as I can remember, I’ve wished I had been born a girl, but in the last six months or so that I’ve realized I am a girl on the inside, that this boy facade is what is pretend.”

“Thanks, man, I appreciate that. You guys are great friends.” I wonder….

September 1, 2023

“Mom, I’m home.”

“In here, son, I’m in the kitchen,” Sherry said, “It’s been three weeks since I let Brandon off his grounding, and I don’t think he has laughed or even smiled since then. Was I too harsh? I even think I’ve heard him cry sometimes at night, but I don’t want to embarrass him by saying anything. He’ll get over it in time, he would really be embarrassed if anyone else found out about the incident. He’s a big boy, after all.”

Brandon trudged into the kitchen and sat down, a somewhat sullen expression on his face. His usually fine features seemed a little hollow and his face was kind of pale, with shadows around his eyes.

“Brandon, have you lost weight?”

“I don’t know, maybe, I just haven’t had much of an appetite.”

“Son, I’m worried about you. You haven’t been spending much time with your friends, so I called Terry up and he said there is a pool party at Jason’s this afternoon. I know Jason will be there, along with his twin sister Ellen. You should have fun there, go get your bathing trunks. But first, I made your favorite meal, a French Dip sandwich and French Fries. They will be here in a half hour.”

"Grand, now I have to go pretend to have a good time, I know about the party; I just didn't want to go as I can’t let anyone see how I feel. This is really getting me down, nothing seems to be worth it. I couldn't afford to let Mom see that I saved my dress, so I hid all of my girl clothes in that shed that they never use in a suitcase mixed in with their suitcases. Maybe I can sneak off and wear something for a bit."

“Brandon, let’s go! Quit dawdling up there, your friends are expecting you.”

Brandon meandered down the stairway and went straight out the door to the car. Sherry followed, saying, “I don’t think you are going to get very far without me.” Brandon said goodbye once they were there and Sherry said she would be back in 4 hours.

“Brandon! Glad you made it, it wouldn’t have been much of a party without you,” said Jason.

“Hi Brandon,” said his sister Ellen, “I’ve something to show you upstairs, please come with me.”

Once in her room, Ellen shut the door and locked it reaching under her bed. She pulled out the suitcase that he had hidden and said, “Brandon, do you know anything about this?”

“It looks like one of your suitcases.”

“Well, it looks just like mine, but this one is mine,” she said, pulling out an identical suitcase from under her bed. “I was getting ready to go to my aunt’s next weekend, and when I opened it up.... Do you want to guess what I found?”

“Not really.”

“It is full of girl’s clothing, but mixed in there is a pair of gym shorts with your name on them. Care to tell me how your shorts ended up in this suitcase full of girl’s clothing?”

“Err… You see… I’m…” he stammered, staring at his shoes, “I don’t know?”

Ellen went and sat by Brandon, put her hand on his chin and pulled his face up to look at her. “Brandon, I think these are your clothes. I’ve seen how you look at girls at school, and it seems like you are just looking at their clothes and how they carry themselves. You don’t look at me or the other girls like the other boys do, you are respectful and seem to just be watching us. Am I wrong?”

Brandon blushed and said, “You’re not…” trailing off into mumbles.

“A little louder?”

“You’re not wrong, I like how the girls look in their clothes.”

“And if I’m not wrong, you wish you could look like that.”

Brandon blushed even redder and looked back down again.

“Brandon? It’s OK if you do,” she said, taking his chin again, “you wouldn’t be the first person at school to identify as transgender. I’m still your friend either way, but I think you need someone to confide in.”

“Call me Sylvia? But please, don’t do that around anyone else, I couldn’t take it if they reacted like my Mom did.”

“Only if we girls can hang out together tomorrow, come over in the morning and we can go for a walk through the woods. You can get changed here, no one will be here except my Dad and he will be working in his office all morning and afternoon on his book. When he is writing, he squirrels away in there for hours,” she replied, “now come on, let's join the others for the pool party. I’m sorry you have to wear those ugly swim trunks, but I didn’t see a swim suit in your suitcase, Sylvia.”

September 2, 2023

“Mom, I’m going over to Jason’s, Ellen is going to help me with my History homework.”

“OK Brandon, I’m glad you are going over to a friend’s house. Have a good time.”

Brandon knocked on the door, and Ellen opened the door after a few moments. “Sylvia, how are you, girl? Ready to have some girl time?”

Blushing, Brandon said, “Are you sure no one is here other than your Dad?”

“Absolutely! Now come on, it is time to get ready!” she said, and grabbed his hand to drag him upstairs.

“Now, go take a shower and wash your hair with the shampoo in there. I left an outfit in there for you, when you come out I’ll help you get ready. Go on, scoot!”

When it came time for Brandon to come out of the bathroom, it was Sylvia who came out instead, dressed in a flowered peasant skirt with a pale pink blouse. Ellen sat her down, blow dried and styled her hair, and then did a little makeup with a spray of perfume. Sylvia looked in the mirror when Ellen was done and saw a cute, barely teen-aged girl looking back at her.

“Is that really me? Oh my god, I look wonderful,” she squeaked, “thank you so very much!”

“Girl, get some shoes on, it is time to go for a hike! You have some cute pink sneakers in your suitcase, perfect for taking a walk.”

After spending a couple of hours in the woods just talking and having Sylvia learn how to talk and act more like a girl, the girls came back for lunch. Ellen led Sylvia into the kitchen, and they started making some sandwiches. They were just about done when a voice came from the doorway, “Ellen, who is your friend? I don’t think I’ve met her before.”

Sylvia jumped a foot or two in the air. “Eeep, you scared me! Ellen said you would be locked in your study all day!”

“I’m struggling with a chapter, so I thought I would get something to eat.”

“Here Daddy, you can have my sandwich, I’ll make another for myself. Want some mustard on it?”

“Thank you Pumpkin, that would be wonderful. What are you girls up to today?”

“Sylvia and I went for a walk in the woods, and now I think we are going to watch some TV.”

“If you wish, you could take the bus to the mall and watch a movie, I know you haven’t seen ‘Barbie’ yet. What about you, Sylvia?”

“I would love that sir, I haven’t seen it yet either, and I really have wanted to. Thank you very much for the offer.”

“So polite, you could learn from her Ellen.”

Ellen stuck out her tongue at her Dad, saying, “I’m polite! Well, most of the time… all right, sometimes I am.”

“Here kids, here’s some money for both of you, go have fun. Thanks for the sandwich Ellen, I’ll see you when you get back.”

After he left, Sylvia said, “You said he wouldn’t be out here, what if he figures out who I am? I shouldn’t have done this! Ack! How am I supposed to go to a movie like this? People will see me!”

“Relax girl, you look wonderful, no one will know who you are. If we run into anyone at the mall, I’ll tell them you are one of my cousins down to visit.”

After a bit, Ellen finally talked Sylvia into going to the movie, and the boys they met at a cafe after the movie never doubted the story for a moment. Sylvia went home afterwards in boy mode, and would never again refer to or think of herself as Brandon.

October 15, 2023

“No, Brandon, no! I thought we were done with this girl crap, you are not going to dress for Halloween as a girl, I don’t care what you say, No!”

“Mom…”

“I said no, Brandon. And that’s final! Say another word about this and you will be grounded again, maybe until you are 18!” Sherry yelled, stomping out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Ellen as she gave Sylvia a hug, “I should have never suggested it.”

“Yeah. Me too. I really should have known better, but I would have really enjoyed being Wendy, after all Ellen is going to be Peter Pan. I guess it’s OK for girls to dress up as boys for Halloween, but not for me to be a girl.”

“I’ve got to go home Syl, I’ll see you at school. I’m so sorry,” she said with a sob as she hurried out the door.

October 22, 2023

“Hey Ellen?” Sylvia called up to Ellen’s window.

“What are you doing out there, it is almost 10 o’clock at night! I’m supposed to be settled in to go to bed.”

“I had to ask you a question. Do you still have the Wendy costume?”

“Of course, but your Mom said you couldn’t use that. Why are you asking?”

“There’s a Halloween party this Saturday, and Mom is going to have to work. I’m supposed to go as a pirate, but I don’t want to go like that! Could I come over and change before the party?”

“Walk with me to school tomorrow, and we’ll talk about it, now get yourself back home before your Mom finds out you are gone.”

October 29, 2023

“Ellen, I just can’t. Mom keeps dragging me with her to Church, and I can’t take it any more. The pastor went on and on about how the “woke agenda” is destroying this country and said that it is OK to force people to conform to the Church’s beliefs, that anyone using the LGBT initials was going to hell. I’m just too depressed and worn out to want to go to that party,” Sylvia said through her tears.

“Syl, you know I’m always here for you, and I would never do anything to hurt you, don’t you?” Sylvia just nodded her head. “Well, we watched a bit of the TV show 'I am Jazz' yesterday, and everyone in my family agreed that transgender rights should be supported, and that they would accept anyone who was like Jazz. I couldn’t help myself and when I said I knew someone who is, Jason said, ‘Oh, you mean Sylvia? I saw you talking with her and I figured out that she used to be Brandon after a bit, but I thought when she was ready to tell me, she would. They probably think that Brandon’s gay at school by now, because he talks and walks a bit differently.’ Mom and Dad were a bit surprised, but they had said you reminded them of Brandon before.”

Sylvia just looked at her shoes, and with a very quiet voice said, “I’m glad they accept me this way, why can’t my Mom?” and started to cry. “I’m still not going, even though I want to so much. It would just hurt too much to have to come home and hide again.”

October 31, 2023

“Brandon, what are you doing in bed? Don’t you want to go out with your friends for Halloween? You have that wonderful pirate’s costume, I’ve even got a fake beard and mustache to go with it. You will look all macho!”

“Mom, I don’t feel well, I’m going to stay home.”

“What’s wrong honey, is it your stomach again? You’ve been having trouble with that for a while now, even though the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong. I’m sorry you are going to miss out on a good time. Get some rest.”

Sylvia laid in bed for awhile, then got up and dug in her closet. Buried in the back of the closet, she had a large bottle of Tylenol*, according to the internet if you take enough of them, you can end it all. After looking at it for awhile, she put it back in the closet and got back into bed. "Not tonight."

November 23, 2023

“Brandon, you look so thin, are you eating enough?” asked Aunt Sue while they were alone in the back yard.

“I’ve been having some stomach issues, but the doctor says I’m OK.”

“Well, I brought your favorite sweet potato casserole for Thanksgiving, that should put some meat on your bones.”

“Thanks, Aunt Sue,” said Sylvia, giving Sue a hug.

“Well, that something you haven’t done in a couple of years now. Don’t stop though, I’m glad you did.”

“Aunt Sue, can I ask you a question without you telling my Mom about it?”

“I can’t promise that Brandon, but I will say that I won’t tell her unless I think that she has to know about it, and I will tell you if I am going to do so. Will that do?”

“I guess it will have to. I can’t get this out of my mind. You aren’t religious, yet Mom is, why is that?”

“When we were little girls, your Grandma gave us the choice of whether we wanted to go to Church or not. My friends didn’t go to Church, and neither did most of your Mom’s, but her best friend did, so she would go with her. I never liked Sally; she took after her father, who was a bigot and an alcoholic. But Sally doted on your mother. When your father left, it was Sally who supported your Mom and I came to realize that no matter how radical her ideals were, Sally was good for your Mom. I don’t agree with their extreme far-right beliefs, and I don’t like how it has dragged your Mom into those, but she needed Sally’s support. It just about destroyed your Mom, as you remember, when Sally died three years ago. She depends on that Church now, as she has alienated most of the people she grew up with. I do believe in God, I’m just not fond of organized religion.”

“Aunt Sue, what do you think about LGBT people? I know some kids from school who are gay, and they are very nice people. Yet Mom says that they are sinners and demons and are going to hell.”

“There are some Churches who accept LGBT people and there are some who won’t. I think people should be allowed to be whoever they are, as long as they are not hurting others. Those groups like in her Church believe they have to force people to be just like them. They feel like having LGBT people around would cause their children to be like them, but in reality, their children are exposed to far more “normal” people than they are to LGBT individuals. If having someone around that was different could really cause someone to change, then there wouldn’t be a single LGBT person in the world, as those people are being exposed to more “normal” individuals and that would cause them to become “normal” instead. Does that answer your question, Brandon?” she said, using air quotes every time she said “normal”.

“Yes, Aunt Sue. I have one more question for you, but I’m afraid to ask it.”

“Brandon, no matter what that question is, I want you to know that I will always love you, and I will always accept you, no matter what or who you are. And I can also tell you that, if I am right about that question, I won’t tell your mother about it.”

“Would you call me Sylvia? Just, not around Mom though.”

“Of course Sylvia. Now, let’s get downstairs and help your Mom with the dinner, OK? Oh, but one thing, is there anything Sylvia would want for Christmas?”

“Some make-up? I’ve got a secret spot I could hide it.”

“Of course, you know you are my favorite niece, after all.”

“Aunt Sue, I’m your only niece.”

“Well then, that proves you are the favorite.”

December 7, 2023

“Mom, tell me about Grandpa Bill?”

“I think I’ve told you everything I know about him, he drowned saving some other sailors that had been on the USS Arizona with him. Thanks to him, three sailors made it home to their families from Pearl Harbor. He might have survived himself, but he took too much shrapnel from bombs. They were able to recover his body, and he was entombed with his shipmates aboard the Arizona.”

“I didn’t mean how he died, what kind of man was he?”

“Your great-great… oh, I forget how many greats there are in there… grandma wrote about him for the memorial they have there. He was a quiet man, and a very well-liked man. He was generous and kind, and accepted everyone for who they were, no matter their color, their religion or their politics. I’ve never heard a bad word about him from anyone.”

“I bet Grandpa Bill would have let me be me. I know there wasn’t much acceptance back then, but he sounds like the kind of man that would. Why is my mother so mean? I know she loves me, but if I can’t be me, what point is there in living?”

December 25, 2023

“Oh, Sue, I forgot to tell you, I found one present you had for Brandon under the driver’s seat so I brought it in. He’s opening that one now. What did you get honey?”

Sylvia had already torn the wrapping off, and when she saw the make-up set she flinched, dropping the make-up on the floor right in front of her mother.

“There must be some mis…” started Sue.

“MAKE-UP! You bought my son MAKE-UP?” screamed Sherry, “Why in the world would you buy your nephew MAKE-UP?”

“I’m sorry,” said Sue to Sylvia, “is it OK if I…” Sylvia just nodded and stared at her shoes.

“Sherry, I don’t have a nephew, I have a niece. Now, I kno…”

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” shrieked Sherry, “I don’t have a daughter, I have a son! You and your woke shit isn’t welcome in this house any more, GET OUT! Brandon, get your ass in your room, I will be up there as soon as I calm down. You are grounded for the rest of your life!”

Sylvia trudged up to her room, while Sue tried to reason with Sherry to no avail. Sue had to leave before it got physical, and Sherry sat down on the couch to settle down, falling asleep for a little while.

Sylvia sat on her bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Her Mom had finally pushed her over the edge, she felt that life was not worth living anymore. She went to her closet, took out the bottle of Tylenol* with a water bottle, and methodically swallowed every pill. It wasn’t long before she became lethargic, and soon after that, she started convulsing like she was having a seizure.

Sherry woke up and decided to go talk to her son. When she went in his room, she saw him convulsing on his bed, with foam coming out of his mouth. Screaming, she went to him and saw the empty bottle of Tylenol*. Panicked, she rushed to her purse and used her cellphone to call for help. Once the ambulance came, they were able to stabilize Sylvia for transport to the hospital. Sherry followed in her car.

December 31, 2023

Sherry woke up from her nap in the hospital room where Sylvia was comatose. Even though the hospital had been able to save her life, whether she ever woke up from her coma was unknown. Sherry had been staying there since Sylvia was admitted, except to go home at night.

“Dear God, please save my child. I don’t know why he did this to himself. This woke agenda has poison…”

“No, dear sister, you have poisoned her. You were more interested in what your Church has said than what your child has said. If she dies, you have only yourself to blame,” said Sue as she came into the room. “Your daughter needs you now; if you are going to pray, you need to pray for yourself to abandon your extreme beliefs. You have two choices. You can have a dead son, or you can have a live daughter if she wakes up from this, because if you force her to be something she is not, she will not choose to live.”

Sherry collapsed on the floor, sobbing “No, no, no. I can’t… no, I must! Sue, please tell me what to do.”

Sue told her to pray for forgiveness, and to learn to accept who her child was. Sherry did and then made a New Year’s resolution. “I resolve to change. I will not be the person I was. I want my child to live, I love hi… her. I will embrace this change and help Sylvia to become the child she wishes to be.”

“Mom, where am I?”

*Paracetamol in the UK

“Mom, I’m home!”

“Bobby, get in here!”

“What Mom?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, yes Mom, what do you want?”

“I went to change your bed right now, and I found a baby doll tucked in by your pillow! Where did this come from? Is this the one your cousin Holly couldn’t find when she came to visit the other day? She was heartbroken having to go home without her favorite dolly!”

“Yes, Mom, that is her dol…”

“WHAT! Why would you take her doll baby? What in the world is going on with you young man, first you won’t let me cut your hair, and now you have her baby doll!” she yelled, “Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Mom, I found her doll stuck in Dad’s recliner last night, and I know Holly doesn’t like her dollies to be lonely, so I put her in my bed so she wouldn’t be lonely. I was going to call her when I came home from school that I had found her baby, and that I would keep her safe until she came back next week.”

“Oh, my. Oh, my. Bobby, I am so sorry I yelled at you. It has just become so difficult for me to understand you these days, that for a minute…. Never mind, I was about to say something silly. You can go ahead and hang on to her dolly until she comes to visit next month. Now go and get changed and do your homework.”

Once I had the room to myself, I took a little time and cuddled with my baby doll. It hadn’t been lost at all, Holly gave her to me, you see she is the only one in the family that knows who I really am. I will have to admit, Holly put on a good show of pretending to have lost her doll. I’m going to have to find a good hiding place for her for during the day, though.

"Suzy, I can't decide," Bobby whispered.

"Bobby, you don't need to whisper, no one is around. And even if they were, it is 2023 and, at least here in Calfornia, no one cares if you buy a blouse."

"OK Suze, which one, the light blue silky one or the white with roses and lace? I can't afford both of the.... eep!"

"Can I help you?" asked the young sales lady who had come up behind us both. "I think I can solve your dilemma, if you will answer me one question. Are those for you, or for someone else?"

"Um, well, you see, I think I will...."

"That answers that question, they are for you, and I'm willing to use my employee discount for you if that will help. I think they would both look wonderful on you, does a third off make them affordable?"

"Why, I mean, what are you talkin..."

"Silly, I have a cousin who is just like you, only she never got the chance to be herself. She lived in Tennessee and it didn't turn out very well. I'm Angie, by the way."

"Angie, I'm Bobb... Barbara and this is my bestie, Suzy. I appreciate the offer, and I will take both."

I've got a problem today, I hope that mom understands. I need to get some new underwear.

"Mom, I need some new underwear."

"I don't understand, how can you need new underwear, I bought you new underwear at the beginning of the school year, and it is only November. What have you been doing with them, taking them off and giving them away to boys at your school like in Sixteen Candles?"

"Mooommmm!"

"Well, then, explain it to me how you can need new underwear already."

"Um, you are kind of half right, I gave some I hadn't worn away. You see, Bobby needed them for Barbara."

"Why would a boy need to get panties for a girl?"

"Because Bobby doesn't have any for when she is Barbara."

"Suze, I've got a problem, the sole has come off of my shoes, I can't walk like this."

"Try going to the office, they might have some shoes in the lost and found, maybe you can borrow something from them."

"Good idea," I said as I left to the office, which thankfully wasn't far as my sole flopped around, being only attached at the heel.

"Sorry, Bobby, I'm afraid there aren't any shoes in the lost and found that might fit you," said Mrs. Peterson, the school secretary.

"Suzy, help! They don't have any shoes that I could wear"

"Here Bobby, try these," Suzy answered, as she handed me her sneakers (trainers for you Brits) she wore for P.E.

"Suze! These are girl's sneakers, I can't wear pink sneakers!"

"Bobby, then you will have to go barefoot or just flop around in those," she replied. "That's what you get for not having any gym shoes and just wearing your sneaks all the time. If you want, you can wear my Mary Janes instead of my sneakers."

"Suzy, you are just too much, I'm tempted to try to take you up on that, you wouldn't dare!"

"You're on," she said as she snatched the sneakers away from me.

I tried on the Mary Janes, which fit quite well, and said, "OK Suze, you had your joke, I'll wear the sneakers."

"Nope, you can just wear those today, besides, they look good on you, much better than those ragged sneakers you always wear."

She knows when I am lonesome
She cries when I am sad
She's up in the good times
She's down in the bad
Whenever I am discouraged
She knows just what to do
But girl,
She doesn't know about you

I can tell her my troubles
She makes them all seem right
I can make up excuses
For why her clothes are mussed
We can talk of tomorrow
I'll tell her things that I wanna do
But girl,
How can I tell her about you?

How can I tell her about you?
Girl, please tell me what to do
Everything seems right whenever I am you
So girl, won't you tell me
How to tell her about you

How can I tell her I become you
Whenever she is away
How can I say it's you I think of
Every single night and day
But when is it easy telling someone the truth
Oh girl, help me tell her about you
How can I tell her about you?

Girl, please tell me what to do
Everything seems right whenever I am you
So girl, won't you tell me
How to tell her about me?

I was just about to lose my lunch when I feel an arm snake around my waist, and someone else sit beside me on the bench. Strange, I think, the bullies in this little town usually begin by throwing my stuff in the trash and knocking me around a bit.

“It’s OK Jackson, those girls abuse everyone,” says a soft voice behind me. Turning around, I see several girls I don't know, along with my best friend and neighbor Deanna with her arm around me.

“Are they always like that?” I ask, putting my head back on the picnic table.

The blonde girl on the other side of me says, “Usually they are much worse, you just run faster than they do, you were halfway across the yard before we could even get up. By the way, I’m Heather.”

“And that’s Gwen, Molly and Stephanie,” says Deanna.

“Why would they want to pick on me?” I whine. “Isn’t it enough that the soccer players seem to think I’m a punching bag?”

“It’s the green monkey syndrome,” says one of the other girls, “If you take a monkey from it’s tribe, paint it green, and then return it to it’s tribe, all the other monkeys will pick on it, even if it was an alpha monkey before. They pick on anyone who is different.”

“But, I’m no different from any other chubby dweeb? Why would they start calling me names like that?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know Jackie,” says Deanna. “We weren’t close enough to hear what they were saying.”

“Deanna!” I yell, sitting up. “You promised you were never going to call me that at school! I don’t really know those girls, how do I know that won’t get around the school by the end of the day. I’m finished!” I moan as I slide under the table.

“I’m sorry Jackson, but I promise they won’t tell a soul, we’ve all been hassled by those same girls and I know they wouldn’t want anyone to give them more ammunition for them to be tormented by. We’re all members of the ‘Itty Bitty Titty Club’, it was something those girls would harass us about, but we’ve come to take that as our club name with pride so they can’t hurt us with it.”

“That’s what they said I was part of now,” I say, as I desperately try to melt into the concrete. At least I don’t feel like I’m going to upchuck now. “Did they follow you over?”

“No, Tiffany and her court of jesters don’t believe in exertion, you’re safe,” says Heather. “We’ve got some time yet before lunch ends, want to come join us?”

“Fine. Why not? It’s not like I would start getting bullied by sitting with the girls.”

  I'm not going to post any more than this until the whole story is written, and I'm about halfway through. You will need to have the Bradley Hand ITC font installed for it to display correctly. One thing to note, although it will be clear very early in the story, is that the story is originally from 12-year-old Jake's perspective, and is being read to an audience by 16-year-old Jake.

  Dramatis Personae
  Jake – The protagonist.
  Cathy – Jake’s sister.
  Mom – Mom.
  Grandma – Mom’s Mom.
  Grandpa – Do I really need to say it?
  Pumpkin Face – The hamster.

  As I sat in the church pew with the preacher rambling on and on, all I could think about was just how much I would miss my sister. Cathy was my big sister, my best friend, my protector and my confidant. I’m only in sixth grade,¹ and short for my age to boot. ‘Why do we add ‘to boot’ when we say things like that? Weird,’ I thought. Middle school was proving to be a bit much for me. I felt like any moment I would start bawling like a baby, but when I looked at our Mom, I felt I had to be a big boy, as now it was just the two of us. She was sitting there, looking small and withdrawn, in spite of the fact she was much taller than I was, she had been a college basketball star. Mom says I will start growing soon, but even so, it isn’t any fun being the shortest one in the entire school. One of the few things that she had told me about my Dad was that he had been short until he was in high school.

  I moved closer to Mom and, as I laid my head on her shoulder, she wrapped an arm around my shoulders to comfort me, saying, “It will be OK, Jake.” It amazed me she could think of me at that moment, and the simple act brought me to tears. My tears seemed to break my Mom, and she just started sobbing, uncontrollably. That was more than I could take and, as the two of us sat there sobbing our eyes out, the damn preacher just kept rattling on about God’s grace. ‘Where had God’s grace been when He took Cathy?’ I realized at that moment that I couldn't rely on anyone else, and that I would have to do something special to help her. Cathy and my Mom had always been as close as a mother and daughter could be; losing her only daughter, I knew, would be something that would be hard for her to overcome.

  After the funeral, we had a whole bunch of people come over to the house, many of them bringing food. I stood around with Mom as people tried to say nice things, things that they thought would bring us comfort. Me, I just wanted them all to go home. After a little while, Mom told me it would be OK for me to go upstairs to lie down for a bit, and that she would come get me after everyone had left.

  I sat on my bed and wondered how I could survive junior high without her. I wondered how I would get through the coming days. Hell, I wondered how I would get through the next five minutes. There was a huge empty hole inside me. I felt like an empty eggshell. But I also knew that I had to help my Mom, and I felt helpless to do so. ‘What are we going to do without my sister? No one could replace her, no one could ever fill that empty hole.’ I went into her room, hoping I could feel a little bit of her presence.

  Cathy had a very girly room, which was spotless, as usual, with a four-poster canopied bed taking up the middle of the room. She had posters of a couple of bands (with boys, of course) and pictures of flowers on the walls. There was a strange kind of desk with drawers and a mirror that was filled with all kinds of girl's stuff, most of which I had no idea of what they were. Stuffed animals were on the bed, along with her fancy pillows, and against the wall was a shelf with her doll collection. In one corner, she had a computer of her own, while I had to make do with the family computer. I picked up one of her stuffies, and I could smell her shampoo or lotion, or something, so I lay down, crying into the silly little thing.

  The next thing I knew, I woke up very disoriented. As I realized where I was, I looked around for my sister, ready to apologize for being in her room, when I remembered the past couple of months. She had been feeling sick for a while, and the doctors hadn’t been able to figure out what was wrong. Finally one of them did some kind of test, and we found out she had cancer. The idiots had thought she was just a silly girl, and hadn’t bothered to run a test for childhood cancers until Mom insisted. If they had only caught it earlier, she could have had treatment, and at least a chance to live. As it was, it was a Stage 4 cancer somewhere in her girl parts, and it had already moved into other parts of her body. They said it was meta-sized,² so I guess that means it just got too big to cure? Less than two months between the diagnosis and the funeral.

  I realized I couldn’t hear the people anymore, so I went downstairs to find mom just sitting on the couch, looking at a photo album, sort of. It seemed more like she was just staring into space, even though her eyes were fixed on the album.

  “Mom…,” I started.

  “Cathy?” Mom practically screeched, then jumped off of the couch and crashed over the coffee table, shattering it into pieces. “Oh, son, I’m sorry, you sounded like her for a moment,” she said after a moment. “I was looking over these pictures, and for a little while, I just got lost in memories.”

  “It’s OK, Mom,” I replied. “Can I look through them with you?”

  We spent the next few hours looking through photo albums, some of them the ones she would put together of just me or my sister, and others of the whole family. We even looked at the old ones, the ones with Dad in there, as he had left us when I was just an infant. Oddly, there weren’t very many of me when I was little. ‘Maybe Mom didn’t feel like taking pictures after he left?' Mom never would tell me what happened, and I knew better than to push. Cathy had sometimes thought she could remember him, but I think she just remembered what Mom told her about him.

  “It’s about bedtime for you, unless you are hungry. Were you able to eat very much of what people brought over?”

  Just about then, my tummy gave off a rumble that just about rivaled the sound of thunder. “Does that answer your question?” I said, as she smiled at me. I think, under normal circumstances, she would have giggled about that, but neither one of us was in any mood to laugh or giggle.

  Mom fixed up some food for us from what they brought over – there was still so much food that, even though she had stuffed the refrigerator and the freezer with casseroles, salads, breads, cakes, along with about any other food you can think of, there was still a whole table full of stuff. Cathy had been very popular in school, and was one of the highest-ranking girl scouts in the state. She had even been one of the most vocal supporters of the movement to have girls allowed in the Boy Scouts. But, by the time it happened in February, she was too sick to participate. Even so, there were many of the Boy Scout members who came by to ‘pay their respects.’ ‘How do you ‘pay respects?’ Is there a special kind of money you pay them with? If so, I don’t think we collected any.’ Sorry about that; my mind takes these odd journeys sometimes. Let me get back to the story. Jake. Between her friends, Mom’s friends from when she used to work, the church – and people who just felt like they needed to be there – I think half the town had stopped by or been at the funeral. We both started yawning halfway through, and we both went to bed without a word.

  Since I had had a good long nap, I woke up well before the sun came up and lay there for a while. It just didn’t seem fair. ‘Why is it that some people die so young, who are such good people and who could have done so much, when others that are vile and do nothing but hurt others live long lives? There are days when I don’t like God very much, and there are days when I wonder if he really is real. I’ve never ‘felt the holy spirit’ or anything, but it sure seems like other people do. I wonder if they are just trying to convince themselves he is real, because they need that comfort?’ With those kinds of thoughts running through my mind, I decided to get up, in spite of it being dark outside, and try to find something to do to get my mind off such somber thoughts.

  My room was a typical boy’s room, I suppose. I didn’t have a spotless room, but I didn’t have a total mess, either. I had my own posters up on the walls, with my favorite being the one of Millie Bobbie Brown in Enola Holmes. Mom was a big Sherlock Holmes fan, and had read me many of his stories over the years. She always told me that if you think hard enough, and logically enough, that you can find the solution to any problem. Her favorite quote was, ‘Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.’ I had a collection of baseball cards, bobbleheads and a few souvenirs from games I had gone to on a shelf, along with my video games. Since I didn’t have a computer in my room, Mom had let me keep the game system I had won, along with a TV in my room. I tried to busy myself with ‘Marvel’s Spider Man’ but my mind kept wandering, even though I was playing my favorite game. I thought briefly about trying to play a multiplayer game, but the few friends I had that were playing my favorite multiplayer game, ‘Among Us’ would all be asleep. Besides, if I can’t pay attention to ‘Spider man,’ I knew I couldn’t pay attention to a silly game like ‘Among Us.’ What? I liked it! I hate interruptions, but go ahead, ask if you must. Sigh. Yes, I know it wasn’t popular in 2019, but don’t you people remember how popular it became during Covid? Now, let me get back to reading my 12-year-old self’s story. Jake. Yes, I know you know who I am, but this is also being transcribed for people to read.

  It was still dark, so I went to see if Mom was awake and heard voices in her room. I opened the door a little and peeked in, but it was still dark and all I could make out was Mom, asleep in her bed. Just as I was about to close the door, I heard her mumble something. The only word I could make out was ‘Jackie.’ I crept into the room, until I could hear her more clearly. It seemed like she was talking in her sleep.

  “Oh, Tom. She’s gone now, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I miss her so very much, there was so much I was looking forward to doing with her. I’ll never get to see her go to a dance, have a boyfriend, graduate school, get married…. Hell, I’ll never get to do anything with her, ever again. I miss you, in spite of everything, although I’d never take you back. As much as I adore my little Jake, I can’t help but remember when they thought we would have another girl; at least I would have had Jackie still. I miss my Jackie.”

  I soon realized that Mom wasn’t talking in her sleep, but was just talking to Dad as if he was still here, sort of. There was a photo album I hadn’t ever seen on the bed, so I grabbed that, backed out of the room, and went back to my room to think. ‘They thought I was going to be a girl?’ As I sat on my bed, that idea just kept going round and round in my head, like a hamster in his wheel. With that image in my mind, I went and made sure Pumpkin Face had food and water, I hadn’t been paying him much attention since Cathy died, but I had always made sure he had food and water, checking it several times a day. I got him just before Halloween last year, which is why I gave him that goofy name. Between his color and his round face, it just seemed to fit. But it didn’t stop me from wondering what life would have been like if I had been born a girl. It certainly would have made it easier being short, as no one thinks twice about a short girl. Boys, on the other hand, well, let’s just say some of my classmates loved to stuff me in a locker, along with other less fun things. I never went into the school bathrooms alone unless I had no other choice.

  I must have sat there for quite some time, because I suddenly realized I could feel the sun on the back of my head. It had been as dark as night – that’s a laugh; isn’t night always dark? – when I had sat down. I didn’t really find it funny, though. As I sat there, I wondered if I would ever find anything funny again. Today was Saturday, but I had no desire to go watch TV as I didn’t think even Warner Brothers cartoons could make a difference. I took out Pumpkin Face and played with him for a little while, letting him run through my hands over and over. There was something kind of calming and soothing about having the little guy run across my hands as I switched them back and forth. Finally, I heard Mom’s door open, and I put my little buddy away, making sure to give him some treats when I did.

  When Mom came into the room, I could tell that she had not slept much last night, if any. She looked like the proverbial 10 miles of bad road, as Grandpa used to say. I got up and hugged her, saying, “How about I help you make breakfast today?”

  With a sad kind of a smile, she replied, “Sure, thank you, precious gir… sorry Jake, that is something Cathy would do.” We went downstairs where I did my best to help her, but I burned the toast and spilled the orange juice. I knew Cathy wouldn’t have made those mistakes and resolved to do better. Mom just quit asking me to do things, though, so I just sat watching her. When she got out the stuff to set the table, she grabbed Cathy’s favorite ‘Rocky and Bullwinkle’ glass, the one she inherited when my Aunt Stacy died. She sat down with it, and stared at it for a moment, saying, “Jake, it just isn’t the same. There is something special about doing things between a mother and a daughter, and I’ll just have to forget about ever doing that again.”

  After all the thinking I had been doing, and after listening to the things that Mom had been saying, something seemed to click. I knew what it was I would have to do. I’ve eliminated the impossible; I can’t bring back my sister. So, now I have to try the improbable.

1. Sixth Grade: For those on the Eastern Side of the pond, that is the equivalent of your Year 7.

2. Metastasized: Cancer that has spread to other parts of the body.

Yes, I had Mom help me with the footnotes when I was 12, as Roberto didn’t understand some of these. What do you mean, I forgot to say Jake? Don’t you think the readers could have figured it out by now? Oh, right, you don’t know my comments will be in italics then.

One Dress

 

  Is a place that doesn’t exist any more. A state where 10 year old children could play outside until late at night, accept candy from strangers and walk to the store all by themselves. It isn’t so much that the state is far, far away, but the time that is so far, far away. Yet, not everything is as rosy as it seems.

  Christmas time in Glendale, Arizona is usually quite chilly. That day, though, I was hating the long pants and sweater that Mom had made me wear. It wasn't too bad when I went out to play that morning but, by noon, the desert was sweltering. Deanna and I stopped by her home at the far end of the trailer park, since it was closer and I hadn’t wanted to walk all the way home in this heat.

  “Mom?” called Deanna from her front door.

  “In here, dear.”

  “It’s too hot, I’m going to go change, is it OK if Larry waits here while I do?”

  “Of course, dear, he’s family. You two are nearly inseparable, anyways. Ask him to turn around first before you change, though.”

  “Moooom! Really?”

  With that, Deanna grabbed my hand as we went to her room. “What Mom doesn’t know won’t hurt us. Do you want to spend some girl time, or go back out to play? She’ll be busy with her accounting work for hours.”

  “I haven’t been me for days, I hate it when you have to go to your cousin’s. Girl time!”

  “I have several new dresses, let’s do some modeling. Let’s see who these look best on! I have a dark green one that I got just for you, I think it fits with your red hair better than my darker Italian appearance.”

  Deanna and I spent the next hour or so trying on different outfits, after she brushed my Beatle's Mop Top hair cut into a better look. The dress was an A-line dress that had a dark bodice with a lime green skirt, finished off with lace around the Peter Pan collar and the puff sleeves, and it certainly looked better on me. She looked better in pretty much all of the other dresses and outfits, though, as the rest were not really my colors.

  After that, we sat down and played with her dolls for a while. This time, though, we forgot that I needed to go back to being Larry instead of Laura.

  “Deanna! Larry! Lunch time!”

  “OK, Mom,” we chorused, running out of the room and into the kitchen.

  “What’s for lun…,” I started, coming to an abrupt halt as I remembered how I was dressed. I could feel my face burning as Mrs. Serratt turned to face us.

  “Oh, my. What in the worl… hey, come back here!”

  I ran out of the house as fast as I could and, when I ran, there were few people, adult or child, who could catch me. I could outrun most of the middle school kids, at least in a sprint. I ran home, knowing that no one was home. Mom was out with my sister at a girl scout meeting by now, and Dad was still at work at Luke Air Force Base. Without pausing, I threw open the front door and crashed onto the floor in the living room. I hate the doors in mobile homes, they all have this raised bar on the floor of the door frame. When I stood up…

  “What are you doing in our house, girl? I think you are in the wrong… Larry? What in the world are you doing in a dress! What are people going to think! You are a boy, not a girl!” said my Mom, coming over to where I was standing. “I didn’t raise you to be a freak!” she continued. Slapping my face and knocking me onto the floor, where I could feel my mouth bleeding, she said, “Now go get that shit off and then you can explain to me why you are embarrassing me like this!”

  “But Mom, I jus…”

  With another slap that sent me crashing into the coffee table, she shouted, “I said get!”

  I stood up, and turned towards my room – which just happened to be in the direction of the still open front door – then I ran back out of the house.

  “Get your Arsch wieder hierher, verrücktes Kind.”

  “Nein!” Du bist nicht meine Mutter!” I shouted back, wanting to hurt her by saying she wasn’t my mother. How could she call me crazy and a freak? Aren’t mothers supposed to love their child no matter what?

  I ran until I could run no farther, out into the desert to an abandoned iron building of some sort. My ribs hurt from the coffee table. All the kids in the neighborhood used it as a hang-out, and there I found my only other friend, Jimmy. Jimmy lived on the other side of the tracks, in the worst part of town. OK, by today’s standards, it wasn’t bad. It was just where the poorest people lived, in run-down houses. Mom didn’t like him, but he was my friend. He was the only boy that stood up for me when I got picked on, as the bullies in the school liked to do. We had just moved there, and I was the latest target.

  “Ah, hello there, I’m Jimmy. You must be new to the area, I haven’t seen you arou….” With that Jimmy stood there for a moment with his mouth hanging open. “Is that… are you… do I… Larry?”

  “Maybe…?” I was too tired to run, and I just hoped he wouldn’t react like everyone else had.

  “What in the worl…”

  I walked back out, and over to the edge of the ravine. It wasn’t but thirty feet away, but it took me a little bit to get there. If he chased after me, I could always go over the edge.

  “Larry, wait. Please talk to me, I’d really like to know what is wrong.”

  “I’m in a dress. That’s what’s wrong. Everyone hates me now, so don’t come any closer or I’m going over the edge.”

  “Just one question then. What’s your name?”

  “What?! You know my name, don’t be stupid. I’m out of patience!”

  “No, not that name. You aren’t Larry right now, you are…?”

  “Just call me ‘Freak.’ Or ‘Crazy.’ Those are the names my mom just gave me.”

  “No, that’s not your name. Neither one of those fits you. Let me guess… Tammy? Cindy? Janet? Let me know if I get close.”

  “Jimmy? You aren’t… you don’t… I mean…”

  “Do I think there is something wrong with you? Naw, you’re just finally being you. Why do you think they pick on you? And why do you think I protect you? You move like a girl, you throw like a girl, you do almost everything like a girl. Everything except run.”

  “I’m Laura, I think. I’m not really happy with that name, but that is what Deanna calls me when we play dress up.”

  Jimmy and I sat down and talked for a while, until it started to get late. We finally settled on Amelia for my name. Mom had never let me go over to Jimmy’s house, so we decided to go to his house for dinner. My face had swelled up from my mom’s hitting me, and with my busted lip and my eye starting to show a bruise, we told his parents that I had run away from home as my mother beat me. Mrs. Williams had been beaten as a child, so she agreed to keep me at their house for a few day to let my parents calm down and to get worried.

  Mr. and Mrs. Williams were the most wonderful people that I had ever met, kind and generous, in spite of living such a difficult life. They talked with me, and I confessed that I wasn’t really Amelia, and that I was really a boy. We had many long talks, and they helped me to understand myself. But the whole time I was there, I was Amelia. They had a daughter about my own age, and I was able to borrow clothes from her when my dress got dirty. I felt bad for her, as she had so little compared to me, but I would have traded lives in an instant. Money is no substitute for love.

  By the time I was ready to go back home, I had talked with them about how I wished I was a girl, and how much I hated being a boy. Yet, I knew I couldn't stay, and that they could not afford another child. I had to go back home. I said goodbye, and left on my own. I knew that they would get in trouble for keeping me as a run-away, so not even Jimmy could go with me.

  When I got to the mobile home park I saw that there was a police car in front of my house. I was too scared to go there, so I went to the only other place I knew to go. Deanna’s.

  I knocked on the door….

  “Laura!” said Mrs. Serratt. “Oh, child, I’ve been so worried. How could you go off and scare us like that! Deanna has been… DEANNA! She’s home!”

  I heard a door crash open and something – or someone – thud into the wall of the hallway of their house. “LAURA! You’re back!” shouted Deanna as she rounded the corner, throwing herself into a giant hug with me. “Don’t ever do that again, silly girl!” she continued, giving me a kiss. Chaos ensued as both Deanna and her mother tried to talk and hug me, all at the same time.

  Once things calmed down, Mrs. Serratt said, “Your Dad came by the evening you left. He has been looking all over for you, and they have the police searching the desert. I explained to him what had happened, and he has talked to your mother, I know. You are going to have to go home to talk to them at the very least. I don’t know how that will go, but know this. You will always have a home with us if it comes down to that. And you can be who you are, whatever that ends up to be.”

  “But you said, ‘What in the world…’ ”

  “Silly girl. I was going to say, ‘What in the world are you doing coming to lunch in your good dress?”

  All I could do was blush, and mumble, “Sorry.”

  “Forgiven, dear child. Have you eaten? I’m won't ask where you have been, but since your dress is clean, I know someone took care of you.”

  “I’m too nervous to eat. Can you come with me to go home? Both of you?”

  We left to walk to my house, and it felt like I was a prisoner walking the last mile to death row. I was simply terrified. Would I come home and find that I couldn’t be me? That I would have to go back to the joyless kind of life I would have as a boy? Would my mother pretend to accept me, and then beat me again? What did my dad think about all of this? I had so many questions going through my head, it came as a surprise when we arrived at my house. At least the police were gone now.

  I walked up the stairs to the front door, and I couldn’t bring myself to open the door. Deanna knocked on the door and, when it opened, I saw my big sister. I just stood there with my eyes down, and waited.

  “Yes? Deanna, Mrs. Serratt, have you seen him? I mean, her. And who do you have with you, does she have infor… OH MY GOD!” she said, squealing that last bit and getting louder as she went. “LAURA!” She catapulted herself out of the door, picked me up in a bear hug and swung me around. “Mom! Dad! She’s home!” she yelled, with tears in her eyes.

  I wish I could tell you it was all peaches and cream after that, but I can’t. I can tell you that I was allowed to be me, and that my Dad accepted Amelia with open arms. I can tell you that my sister and I became besties, and we still talk every day, no matter what part of the world the Air Force takes her to. I can tell you that my mother never beat me again, but she didn’t exactly accept me. My father and mother divorced a few years later, mostly due to her infidelity. My stepmother accepted me for who I am, though, and we even became friends with Jimmy and his family. Deanna and I stayed best friends all through school and into college, but we drifted apart when she went to medical school on the east coast.

2024-11-16 07:41:48 -0400

I recently came out to my wife, and this reworking of John Lennon's "Woman" says just how it went. Amazingly, it takes very little reworking!

Woman
I can hardly express
My elation for your thoughtfulness
After all, I'm forever in your debt

And woman
I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For giving me the freedom of a dress

Ooh-ooh, well-well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh-ooh, well-well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Woman
I’m glad you understand
The little girl inside the man
Please remember, my life is in your hands

And woman
Hold me close to your heart
However I dress, it won't keep us apart
After all, it is written in the stars

Ooh-ooh, well-well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh-ooh, well-well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Woman
Please let me explain
I'm glad I didn't cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again

I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah-yeah
Now and forever