by Christine
I couldn’t stand my mother any longer so I moved out of her house a year ago. I was only seventeen when I moved away and a year had passed since then. I only regretted having to leave my thirteen year old brother. He didn’t deserve to be with the weirdo’s but I didn’t have any choice. Taking him would have been like kidnapping. The conditions Mother set to allow me to leave was that I leave alone and leave most of the stuff behind. A majority of the clothing, the computer and almost everything she bought for me. It was accepted. I couldn’t stay there with her and that weird guy that she was marrying. I hated him and her for accepting him in our house.
Brian my brother had always been treated like the black sheep unwanted, neglected and mistreated by my mother. Sadly, there was nothing that I could do to protect him. When I left, things clearly took a turn for the worst for him. His behavior changed radically since I left. He was more fearful, his mood, He withdrew into himself, but I am no counselor, or therapist so what did I know. All I know was that his attitude had become very fearful and there were signs that I ignored, like he became afraid of physical contact. One time when he visited me, he couldn’t sit down without pain but when I asked him, he didn’t want to talk about it he and assured me there was nothing going on. Boys can be so strange so I left it alone.
The signs that there was a problem became more evident and noticeable the last time Brian visited me, Richard dropped him at my place. Richard was my mothers new husband and was talking to Brian in the car before he let Brian come out. I could tell by the look on Brian’s face and how he was moving that the situation had became even worse for my brother. When he got out of the car, there were several very noticeable features. His clothing was one thing that I was very clear. He had on very tight girls jeans on, his shirt was very feminine styled. His hair was parted like a girls and I detected a faint hint of blush and eye shadow on him. As he walked down the driveway of my house he swayed his hips side to side. It seemed to me as if Richard forced all of this on him and Brian was clearly upset by it. Richard had him intimidated, and I intended to get him to talk to me about it.
He walked, no swayed up to my door like a fashion model on a runway. He knocked on my door and I opened it for him with a big warm smile. I loved him so much, and moving away from my parents house was hard because I missed my brother. He gave me a tight hug and told me that he missed me so bad. I wrapped my arms tightly around him. That was when I identified another big problem. By wrapping my hands around him and squeezing him to me, my hands on his back felt a thick strap on his back and under his shirt. I felt it, moving my hand around I felt the thick claps in the center of his back. Moving my hand up his thin shoulders, I felt the thin shoulder straps and the cups on the side of his chest.
“OH MY GOD, Brian what the hell is going on, the way you are dressed, your face and how you were moving!?” I asked him while shoving him away from me nearly freaking out.
I mean, my God, a bra in addition to everything else. What the hell is going on with him. All the time I knew him, he never showed any signs of him wanting to crossdress. Now he was wearing a bra under his shirt tight girls jeans, a blouse and makeup.
He stuttered pathetically, “What are you talking about, sis?”
I raised my voice, “Don’t play stupid brother. You are not an idiot and neither am I. You have on girls styled jeans, a pink blouse, you are wearing a bra, you have a light shade of lipstick, rosy cheeks, and eye shadow. And that is a girls hair due. Now, its time to explain this to me because I know you never crossdressed while I was living there. “
I looked him up and down slowly and several other features revealed themselves. A panty line visible under his jeans, and the jeans themselves were low cut hip huggers. I looked closely at his jeans, it had the word, Julie.
“Oh that, yeah just ignore that. Please don’t hate me sis. Its nothing to freak out about.”
“Julie,” I said questioning. “If its you, I can accept that it is a fetish. It would be cute and we could do a lot with it like shopping trips. But I know this isn’t you, you aren’t a crossdresser. When I lived there, you were a very boyish boy. I think this is Richard abusing you, am I right?”
He tried to play it innocent. “No nothing to do with my stepdad. You have to get off of this sis. There is nothing going on with him and me so get off this fetish you have. I am not gay!”
“Him forcing you doesn’t make you gay, it makes you a victim. You can tell me anything.”
He said though tears, “He is doing nothing to me. Please believe me, theres nothing to talk about.”
“If this isn’t Richards idea, then it must be yours. Your idea to try wearing womens clothes and go by the name Julie. Your other leg says PRINCESS across your buttcheek. Are you wanting to change yourself into a girl now?”
He said nothing. Boys were so strange. He would rather have me think this was his idea than to admit a man forced him into being his homosexual lover. I never will understand boys.
“I can't help you unless you talk to me but if this is the life you want, you will get it. I find it hard to believe that dressing this way is your idea and that you want to be a girl named Julie Princess. Please tell me about this, Brian. You need to tell me, “ I pleaded. “Telling me the truth is the only way you can get out of this situation.”
He became angry, “ How many times do I have to tell you that nothing is going on. Stop preying, its none of your damn business. Richard isn’t molesting me or having any sex with me.”
I looked at him and said very seriously, “If he isn’t then why haven’t you sat down yet Julie.” His body trembled at the name.
“Sit down beside me!”
He mumbled softly, “I can’t sit down”
“Why not,” I asked him.
“That is none of your business. “
“As your sister, it is my business. I want you to be safe from Richards perversions. Tell me what is going on so I can help you. And protect you,” I pleaded with him. I needed to protect my brother even if he didn’t want me to.
He screamed, “Nothing is ‘going on’ why wont you stop asking me.”
This was clearly going nowhere. “Fine ok, that must mean you want to dress this way!”
“Fine, I want to dress this way now leave it alone,” He asked me.
“Yes, Julie Princess.”
“Please don’t call me that!”
“Julie Princess, that’s your name isn’t it. Its written on your jeans and since ‘Nothing is going on’ Its your idea so that’s your name unless you tell me differently. Do you have anything to tell me?” I stood infront of her waiting for an answer. I was loosing patience with his stupidity.
“No,” He said.
“There you have it,” I spat at him. “Since its all your idea Julie, perhaps you would like to show me what you are wearing and I can loan you some more stuff to wear at home. Sisters share! I can give you some very pretty stuff. Stuff that will really attract guys. “
His little mouth hug open, “I thought you were on my side, you can't do this to me!”
“If this is your idea then I am helping you. Do you have anything you want to tell me?"
My idiot brother opened his arms innocently, “There’s nothing to tell. When will you get off that kick?”
I said, “Fine. I'm off the kick. If you want to be more girly lets do it right. “
The idiot saw no way around it, his shoulders slumped, “Fine sister. I want to be more girly. “
This was fun, the power I had. It was like a rush. I knew I was going too far but I still felt I had to help him so I had to push him until he realized he needed help. My stupid brother, Rather than admit he was being abused by Richard, he was willingly to let me make him more girly. He had given me control rather than admit he was being abused. How stupid is that!
My voice rose to a commanding tone, “Take off your outer clothing and let me see that bra and panty that you have on, Julie. Then lets go from there, okay”
He moaned helplessly, “What ever.” His arms crossed and lifted his shirt over his head revealing a two large padded cups poking out from his chest. Geez, they must be D cups. Impossible to hide and quite sexy. I smiled at him and he hid his face. He struggled to pull down the jeans that looked like they were pasted to his hips. Luckily they weren’t and he slide them down to show he was wearing a incredibly sexy pair of purple silk panties embroiled across the sides with feminine lace. I didn’t know what to say about him any longer. This was just too much. He was standing in front of me wearing a pair of bra and panties.
“You can still tell me what the deal is and I will help you. “
“What will you do if I tell you, sister.”
“I will call the police and tell them what you told me. They will take my statement and verify it with you then go arrest Richard and our mother. “
“NO way sis. After that, everyone will know. Everyone from school will know. The guys I hang out with at school. Its not like it is for girls. Girls get sympathy, boys get teased and called gay. Forget it. “
“Fine Julie. If you would rather have me believe its your idea and this is what you want, I will help you along and make you the prettiest princess in our family. Lets get you in nylons and heels. I think I have the perfect pair of them in my closet. Come along, Julie princess.
the truth
Chapter 2
I didn’t know what to think of this now. I mean, on one hand I knew that I loved my brother more than anything else in this world and that somehow I had to help him but, on the other hand his reluctance to give me anything to go on and admit the truth had pissed me off and made me want to humiliate him. That humiliation excited me, I liked that rush of power and at the same time it made me disgusted with myself. One thing I knew I had to keep in my mind was that I was doing this to help him, not to get a power rush. I didn’t want to turn out like my mother or her scumbag sleezy husband. However warped that may sound it was the truth. If Brian wouldn’t help himself then I had to help him against his will.
I suddenly remembered that I had left Brian in the other bedroom, I had went to my own bedroom to pick out some nice clothes for Brian to wear. I didn’t want to do this to him but I had to if I was ever going to help him.
I went back into the guest bedroom to see my innocent brother sitting on the bed, wearing his bra and panty set my mother must have brought him. My god he looked feminine! Despite the obvious attempts to emasculate him, his body type was decidedly feminine anyway. His hair was done but it was soft and stylish, natural curls that didn’t need curlers. His hips narrow and his waist was small. His face had a very soft and pretty look to it. His cheekbones were very rounded and soft, all rounded down to his chin which was very small. His face looked like a girls face. It all made him into a good target for a pedophile, like our stepfather. I always knew my mother was unfit but I never though she would stoop to choosing a pedophile for a husband, and choose his needs over the needs of her own children. I always knew that my mother was a very selfish woman so this shouldn’t have surprised me.
It did
A lot
I went though my closet and picked out several pretty gowns I had worn in high school dances and such.
Wow my old cheerleading uniform; he will look cute in that!
I went though my lingerie drawer and picked out a few sexy nylon stockings and then got a nice pair of red stiletto heels. I gathered them all up and headed back into his room.
When I got back to him, I saw his face in his hands. His body language told me he was very troubled. His face was streaked by lines of wet tears.
Oh my god, the look on his face was like a painful stab through my heart. This was my brother and I had hurt him. The look of betrayal on his feminized face struck me even more. I struggled to keep my own face stern and hard.
I gazed down at him, unfeeling and stern. “I see you are struggling with yourself, Julie. I have some things here for you to try on, for me. “
His jaw dropped in shock as I laid out the nice gowns beside eacher on the bed. I picked out a specially tight fitting pink gown I wore to the senior prom, the red nylons I had picked out. I handed the nylons to him and asked, “Julie have you been taught how to put nylons on?”
He shook his head, “No I haven’t Crystal. I don’t want to learn either!”
I shook my head in disappointment. “You must call me Miss Crystal from now on and I will teach you how to put on your own stockings. You cant just yank them up because their made of thin easly torn fabric. “
I rolled one of them up and placed it on the tip of his toes. I softly rolled it up his foot and his calf. “Do you see Julie, you must roll them up your leg genty and take care to do it in a even motion so as not to rip the fabric. “ I rolled it out up his thigh and gave the other stocking to him, “Now do the same to the other leg, Julie and remember what I taught you.”
He shook his head, “Crystal you are my sister, why are you doing this to me. Why must I learn how to put on Stockings for. You know that I am a boy. “
He was right but I had my own plan and I realized that this was a important time if I was to maintain control. I winded my arm back and slapped him hard across his cheek. “Julie, listen here girl!” I spoke harshly, “Don’t ever ever question me. We have discovered that there is nothing going on between Richard and you, and that being a girl is your own idea so you must learn how to do it right. How ever if there is anything going on with Richard and you then doing this right will make it nicer for him. HE will get a real kick out of you in nylons. “
My voice rose even more, my face took on a fearsome scow, “No more talking, put on the other nylon girl. Remember the lesson, we have a long night ahead of us!”
I saw his little body trembling and the look of sadness and shock on his face. Uncomprehending betryal. He didn’t expect such harsh treatment from his sister in a world suddenly turned against him. His mother turning her back on him, Her husband abusing him and his own father leaving forever to make a new family and now his only support left, his sister suddenly becoming cruel and wicked. The look on his face said it all, it was so sad.
His shaky hands rolled the other stocking up his leg and looked at me for approval.
I nodded my head in approval, “Very good Julie. Your bra and panties mach and I approve of them.”
I pointed to his chest, “Your bra, did you put it on or did Richard or Mom?”
“I..I, I put on the bra miss Crystal. I have an entire drawer full of girls underthings at home. “
I smiled, “That is very cute Julie. You are learning how to do feminine things. Show me how you put the bra on.”
His jaw dropped again but remembered not to argue with me. He slide the shoulder straps down and took his arms though them and turned the bra around till the claps in the back was infront and unhooked the bra and took it off.
I looked at his chest, I pointed to his red and swollen nipples. “Julie, explain that please?”
My guess was Richard played with them a lot till they were red. He looked very embarrassed and simply said, “Mom tells me not to play with him so much but I think it feels good. “
Yeah right. But I said nothing and let him wrap the bra around his chest and hooked the clap in front and turned it around and put his arms though the straps.
“That is very good.”
I looked down at his crotch, he must have it tucked or taped in back which was good. I had a better idea for his next visit but that will do for now.
I picked up my pink evening gown and helped him in it. He looked almost perfect in it. “Julie you can keep it did you put on your makeup yourself?”
“Yes Mother taught me how. Can I get out of this thing Miss Crystal, please? “
“Why do you want out of it, it looks so nice on you”?
He started tearing up again but I remained stern. “Julie you will keep that on and love being a sissy girl, do you understand!”
“Ye yes Miss Crystal!”
“Do you know how to walk in heels?”
“No miss Crystal, she has me in things she calls platforms. “
“You will learn now, sit down and let me put these on you!”
He did as I told him and put them on and with little instruction, he was steady enough to stand on them.
My cell rung and I went out of the room but told Julie to practice walking across my room.
It was Richard. He asked me how everything was and he was ready to pick up Brian in an hour.
I had to speed up my plan for tonight and I wanted it to be kind of a shock for Richard. I packed up a purse full of makeup and a vibrater along with a secret item.
I went back into the room and ordered him to take gown off and I watched, very pleased as he did.
“Richard will be here in an hour so we will have to save the shopping trip for another day, put on the cheerleading outfit. I want you to see him wearing that and carrying this purse. The purse is very important go leave without it.
Within 45 minutes, he was dressed as a cheerleader and carrying the pink purse and swaying his hips as I taught him. It was both, cute and disturbing. But Richard winked at me as he left with the saddened boy.
Authors note, I have decided to continue the story because of the interest
I propped myself on the doorframe going outside while I watched Brian walk out to meet Richard. By that time, it was like I was on pins dearly hoping that Brian would do what I told him to do. I knew it would be very hard for him to kiss Richard but it was for his own good.
I told him to give Richard a big romantic open-mouthed French kiss like a girl would kiss a lover. I also told him to act very flirty and a little slutty with Richard and to behave like an airheaded bimbo.
I watched Brian prance down my driveway swaying his hips like a girl, and twirling strands of his hair in a fashion. I noted in surprise that he had this walking in heels thing down. I watched the entire exchange between them. Richard looked surprised at the outfit Brian was wearing. He had on my blue and white high school cheerleading outfit and Richard liked it a lot. He got out and admired it. He looked up at me from across the driveway and smiled knowingly. I smiled back and Brian wrapped his arms around Richard, and got on his tip toes, then started kissing Richard the way I told him to. It looked like a very good effort but I knew the eternal struggle Brian must have been having. I really felt bad for him. It was like a physical pain in my gut. I knew he was feeling disgust and revolution but I also knew he had to do this.
The kiss lasted a full 30 seconds and Brian played the part of a flirty girl just right. I played my part right. I discreetly pulled out my cell phone and recorded the entire thing on video. Neither of them had a clue and I was relieved when the kissing was over. The first part of my devious plan had worked brilliantly. I finely had something serious but I knew I needed more than a recording of him kissing Brian. Yes, kissing a 14-year-old crossdressed boy like that was very inappropriate, it wasn’t enough to get serious charges with. Charges that would put him away for a long time. That would have to wait.
I watched them get in the car and drive away. My gut twisted as I hoped that the next part of the sinister plan would work as I hoped. I had gone back inside and booted up my PC to see the program I installed would work. I plugged in the USB card that would receive signals from a recording device I secretly put in brains purse. Everything had to work for the plan to work. The recorder in his purse had to work, The USB receiver would have to work, the program on my computer that would take the signals and let me listen in would have to work.
I started listening and I could hear Brian’s voice clearly. He was trying to be flirty and brave as Richard was asking humiliating questions about the kiss and various other things about his girlyness.
I knew it was time to go. I had a date with Amber and didn’t want to be late. My mother didn’t want me in a lesbian relationship with a woman. She said it was wrong and she let her scumbag boyfriend try to ‘convince’ that I should be with a man. He didn’t do such a good job but that is beside the point. I had to freshen up and get myself ready for her. It was nothing serious, just going out to a dinner and then we would hang out. She was such good support at these difficult times. She disapproved of me having a same sex relationship with Amber but she approves of Brian and Richard. How fucked up is that? But in her strange way of thinking, I do understand. She has always had some hatred for her son and never really cared about his well-being.
I just couldn’t listen anyone. Richard was talking about blowjobs and making Brian ask him if he could give him a blowjob. It was just so disgusting and degrading to Brian that I had to turn it off. It kept recording. I had gone into the bathroom to freshen myself up for my date. I just hoped that everything went well. So I put on my nicest dress and shoes. I decided to wear my red gown with a very low neckline. It was very open in the back. Yeah it sounds trashy but it really wasn’t for this woman. I knew how to please her. I got in my car and drove over to her favorite Italian restaurant.
The place was as I expected when I got there. The lights were very dim and it was a very formal place. The waiters were wearing white suits and we ordered our favorite platter.
She was wearing a sharp black suit that made her look very serious but also sensual. There wasn’t much to say about it. It was simply a woman’s business suit.
“Thank you Amber,” I told her as soon as we ordered. “Your advice on how to bust my stepdad is working out. I plan on getting him as soon as we can. “
She gazed at me and responded, “Does that mean you got the stuff I told you about that would let you hear what was going on. “
“Yes,” I answered. “It was very expensive but I will make it up soon. Helping Brian is worth anything. I just have to.”
She agreed. “So tell me. Did you take my advice on getting it moving? “
“Yes. I didn’t like making him dress like that. But if it entices Richard and makes him make his move then we can trap him and its all better to free my brother.”
Her mood changed somewhat. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. There was just something about the way her eyes looked. “I bet he looked very sexy in your outfit. If we can free him then you could have a lot of fun with a sissy like that. “
I felt my anger start boiling. I hated anyone talking about him like that. “Stop that Amber. If this works then surely I will be the last person they chose to be his guardian. I am only eighteen.”
“Not to worry,” she chimed in soothingly. “I will be there to help out. “
There was something about her look and the way she said it that sent chills though me. I brushed it away and quickly changed the subject. “What ever, we don’t have to worry about that. How was your week?”
She told me very well while she started rubbing her hand along my leg under the table. Our food came and we ate it quickly enough in-between idle chatter and rubbing each other.
We were back at my place in less than two hours and I turned on the speakers again. Sounds of horror filled the house. It sounded like Richard was having sex with Brian and Brian was crying in humiliation. It really broke my heart and Amber told me, “It is time, Crystal. Make the call now! They will catch him in the act!”
I called 911 and reported a strong suspicion of child abuse and gave them the address, my name and was told that someone would be in touch with me.
A plain clothed male detective came to my place in less than fifteen minutes.
“You reported a very strong suspicion of child abuse on your brother, Brian. You gave some very vivid descriptions of what you suspected. Two officers are checking out your complaint. What made you suspect such things, crystal?”
“A lot of things from his abrupt change in his mood. He went from an outgoing fun typical teenage boy to someone very repressed, afraid. He started jumping at any physical contact. When I saw him, he hardly spoke and the last few times, he wouldn’t sit down. The last time he came, he showed up wearing women’s undergarments, woman’s jeans and makeup. “
He jotted it all down on a pad and agreed that there were signs of sexual abuse.
“There is more detective. I have proof.”
I took out my phone and showed him the video of him kissing Brian and I told him that he put on the cheerleading outfit. Then I showed him the evidence on my computer and that was when he showed some concern.”
“I don’t think you should have done that Crystal. But we will be in touch. “ He stood up and left and everything seemed well for a few days.
Their case became stronger and He started speaking about his abuse and the detective came by to take further statements from me.
Everything seemed to be going well until three days later. I received a call early in the morning from the same detective. He got right to the point quickly that brought me out of my sleep. “Crystal, we have a big problem here with Brian. “
“What is the problem,” I asked still foggy from my sleep.
“Well, Because of the problem with his family, none of them will take him. He has been saying at a state home and hes getting bullied badly. We have no where else and you are his last hope. Social services isn’t happy about it but I pulled some of my strings and they very reluctantly agreed. Crystal, Will you accept him?”
That brought me out of my fog. I mean, me responsible for a child. I am only freaking eighteen. I started freaking out. “Me are you serious detective. How can I even be considered? I am only eighteen, and I am his brother how can I be his guardian!”
“calm down crystal. I am not talking about permanent guardianship. This will just be temporary until we can find proper foster parents. It will probably be only a few days to a week at most. Please, you are his last hope. “
I agreed and said I would. I freshened myself up and awaited the detective and the social services person to deliver Brian. My mind was racing by now. After what I pulled on him, how in the hell was I going to do this. He wouldn’t trust me and I knew this wouldn’t work out at all but my only hope was they found someone else. Fast.
All too soon a car pulled into my driveway and a detective along with a well dressed middle aged lady got out of the car and a fearful teenage boy came out of the back seat. He followed them slowly up to my door.
I was clueless. I didn’t have any clue how to proceed. I let the three in and the older lady carefully looked over my place. She told me that it met with her approval. I didn’t have any clue what it required to meet to her approval so I simply nodded. She said the department of social services world stay in touch with me and they left him there.
He just sat in a chair looking at me very fearfully. I figured the best thing to do after that was explain where everything stood. I sat down in a chair infront of him and started my side.
“Brian, I know you are very afraid of me and you don’t know how that hurts me.”
HE snorted loudly. I guess that was contempt.
“Yeah. It doesn’t mean much after what I did but I can only say, It is what helped end your abuse. I promise you that I wont ever hurt you again. I am sorry that I hurt you when I did. “
“yeah sure. Miss Crystal. Shove your sorry up your ass. Your apology means nothing. “
“It was me that called the authorities to free you. I know you can’t trust me and I hope this is quick until they find better people to care for you. For now, lets make this quick and present. Let me show you where you will stay.”
I took his hand and lead him into his bedroom. When he got there, he looked very upset. It was blue and like any normal boys room. He looked though it and it was clear that he didn’t approve. I asked him about it but he didn’t say anything. That was when I decided that the best thing I could do was just leave it.
I slept and hoped that he would sleep as well. I woke up the next morning and he was up a few minutes later. I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He just glared at me hatefully so I decided to make him some eggs. I told him that I had to go to work but a kind woman named Amber would be keeping an eye out for me.
I got dressed and left him there alone. I came back to my place eight hours later. I looked around the place and it looked like he had cleaned up the place well. That was odd, he never did any cleaning before but I shrugged it off. Amber was there and Brian was beside her. He seemed even more upset than before. I tried asking him but he was very quite. Well if he wouldn’t tell me then I couldn’t do anything. I was stupid. I didn’t suspect a thing until two days later, I came home from work and saw what the problem was. I had come home early and saw him, wearing a maid’s outfit and cleaning. She was standing over him, very harsh and shouting demeaning orders.
I felt like kicking her ass. My rage boiled hot as I approached her. “Amber, how could you do this to him. You betrayed me. “
She looked innocently. “Why Crystal, he is a sissy. You have to learn how to treat a sissy appropriately. You were always too soft. “
That did it and I slugged her. My rage exploded. “Amber get the hell out of my house now! It is over. I don’t ever want to see you again and never contact Brian. Get out!” I was yelling at her. She got the message. She left after telling me that I wont be able to do this alone. I suspected that she was right but I didn’t want her help.
After she left I took care of Brian. I let him take off his clothes. He spoke to me finely. “Crystal, Thank you for that. But, why didn’t you call the police?”
I had the distinct impression he was testing me. Seeing if I would report my girlfriend. I would. “Brian, I will if that’s what you want but I was trying to spare you some more humiliation. “
He shrugged, “I can handle it. After what Richard did to me, I can handle anything. “
“Okay Brian. “ I made the call and she was arrested too. We answered questions all night.
After everything was over for that night, he asked me a question that totally blew me away. “Why do you insist on treating me like a boy. Can we get some girls clothes?”
I was shocked, “Brian, why?”
“I am a girl!”
Brian’s words were so outrageous that I was momentarily taken. I was stunned into silence. For several long seconds, I just looked at him stupidly. I opened and closed my mouth several times trying to find some words to say. I finely managed to tell Brian, “You are not a girl Brian. Regardless of what mother has told you, you are a boy. “
Brian’s words were so outrageous that I was momentarily taken. I was stunned into silence. For several long seconds, I just looked at him stupidly. I opened and closed my mouth several times trying to find some words to say. I finely managed to tell Brian, “You are not a girl Brian. Regardless of what mother has told you, you are a boy. “
He simply looked at me and said, “I was never a boy and when I pretended to be a boy, I was bad at it. That is part of the reason those boys as the boy’s home treated me badly. I was always supposed to be a girl. “
I knew there was something very wrong now. He was so insistent on this that I was starting to get scared. My mother must have brainwashed him badly.
“Look Brian,” I said sternly.
He butted in, “I am Julie. Please call me Julie
“No Brian,” I said. “I will not call you by a girls name anymore. You are a boy. What ever mom told you is wrong. I know that you have been scheduled to see a psychiatrist and we will discuss this tomorrow. “
He wouldn’t let it go, “Mom always said I was meant to be a girl and she was right. It wasn’t mom that convinced me but when I decided to take her advice, something clicked but it also attracted her boyfriend. But That doesn’t mean I wasn’t supposed to be a girl. You will see, moms doctor told her I had something called GID. “
I had no idea what GID was but he suddenly said, “I swear, now look. Do boys have this!” He took off his shirt I bought for him and when he wasn’t wearing a bra, I could see them clearly. Two small mounds on his chest puffing up his nipples. They were clearly two breasts. My god what had mom done to my poor brother. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I ran to my own bedroom and started crying. I still didn’t buy the GID. I know there are transsexuals but my brother had been abused and manipulated by a wicked woman. He wasn’t a transsexual. He was an abused child. I just hoped that the doctor would help him though this confusion.
I was so wrong. We went into the doctors’ office together and he spoke to Brian for around an hour and then called me in. He explained to me that he had been already diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder and it was A diagnosis with a lot of evidence and support to back it up.. His abuse was not the cause of his condition. He went on about Brian’s condition and the hormone dosage he was on for Hormone replacement therapy, and how his body must get regular checkups to keep the dosage at a safe level so he doesn’t get poisoned.
I had no idea. It was clear that I was so in over my head with this. I asked the doctor if I could speak to him alone and he let Brian go into the other room with the nurse.
“Doctor, This is all so new to me. I had no idea that my brother was like this. I can’t believe it was withheld from me. Now the state lays this child on me to take care of and I have no experience with a child and now I am told he has a gender disorder ontop of it all. I don’t know how to deal with this. It is overwhelming what am I supposed to do!”
“Crystal. You can get help too and I will do my best. The first thing that you need to do is be supportive and loving toward your sister. She will need a lot of support. Can you support her?”
My sister. Julie. This will take some time to get used to but I can do it. “Yes,” I told him firmly. “I love my brother Brian and I will love my sister Julie the same. Are you going to cure her?”
“If you mean by curing her by making her accept being a boy, no. The only cure is making her body into the image she desires. That means a girl. Only then can she be in peace. Do you understand, Crystal?”
“Yes I understand. So what now?”
“She has a trial in which she has to testify against her step father and her mother. You need to help her prepare for that. You also need to help her with her appointments with the endorogoist. He prescribes her the hormones that she takes to grow as a female. “
This was all so much. I was on overload and it felt like the world was spinning. I didn’t know if I could handle all of this responsibility I did understand and said, “Yes I understand. I will take her. You know, for all my life, it was Brian and my little brother. Calling her my sister and the name Julie will take some getting used to. Thank you for making this clear. “
He let me go then and we got in the car. I looked over toward my,…my sister. “Julie, I am sorry about the things I said. I was wrong. “
“That is alright. Our mother kept both of us in the dark about a lot of things. She let me transition but she used it against me and didn’t protect me at all. I see that you will protect me from people that want to hurt me, and that you accept me. “
Julie forgave me but I could see it in her eyes that there was something more that she wanted to say. “Julie, was there something else that you wanted to say?”
“I don’t know how to say this but. You said that you wanted this to be quick. Until the state could find foster parents. Is it still true that you don’t want me?”
Wow how the things I said can come back to bite me. “No Julie it isn’t that I do not want you. I love you. I am young. I am not much older than you are and I hope you understand that this isn’t a lack of caring. I am ill-equipped to be responsible for a child’s welfare. I don’t think that I am the best person for the job. There are people that are much better suited for careing for you than I am. You need them.”
Julies face became contorted with anguish and grief. Tears begun to flow down her small face and she started letting out soft cries. She said though anguish and tears, “Crystal you are all that is left for me! You are my family, I don’t want anyone else but you! Please please please you cant leave me like the rest! You must, you have to take me!! I know that you can do this you just have to! We can work together please don’t give up!”
The anguish and desperation was evident on her face and the way that tears were just streaming down her face endlessly. She looked at me and her body was heaving with her strong uncontrollable cries, and her small body was trembling, she was so afraid, no terrified that she would loose me.
Her desperation hurt me too and I knew then what I had to do. I had to keep us together as a family. I doubted that the state would me be Julies permanent guardian. The state would fight me all the way. I didn’t have the resources to fight it. But I knew that for Julie’s sake, I would have to fight now. Some how, I would have to find a way to do this. Her survival depended on it.
I gathered up all of my courage and said, “Julie, I will never leave you willingly. I will keep you and take care of you. I am sorry for what I said to you before, I take it back. “
The anguish in Julies face begun to leave as she relaxed. That was a relief. I knew she would never survive without me. It was sad and I knew that I wasn’t ready for this, but ready or not, I had it. It was up to me so I had to somehow make myself ready. I had to make myself grow up and start being responsible like a parent. I knew I could do it.
I was still driving down the road toward my place, I looked at her and said, “Julie, everything will be all right. It will be a long ride but we will make it and I will make sure no one hurts you ever again.”
She smiled back at me, she looked more reassured now. I wish that I was as sure. I don’t know where I would get the finances to make these ends meet. I had to get an attorney that can help me with my case with Child welfare so I could fight for guardianship of Julie. I had to get her back into some kind of school. When her mother was arrested, she stopped going to school because of the publicity of it all. She was right, her peers would use it to tease her. She didn’t need that but if I don’t get her into some school, the state will surely use that against me.
I really felt sandbagged. Any public school was out of the question but I sure as hell didn’t have the finances for a private school, or tutors. I couldn’t go to my mother, she sure wouldn’t help me and even if I tried to force her, she wasn’t much better off than I was. That’s why she married Richard. Richard was financially very well off, but that meant he was well protected and had a lot of resources to make things very difficult.
I told Julie to find some of the things of mine that she would like to wear for now and we would go shopping for some clothing of her on this weekend.
While Julie was nosing though my closet, I made a quick call to a good friend of mine for help. She was not there so I left a urgent message that I had a emergency and I needed help. She was a lawyer so I knew she knew how to help me. At the least, if she wasn’t willing, she could direct me to people who could help. She had a lot of connections.
I had to go back to check on my…sister. I could hear music so I opened the bedroom door and I about feel down laughing. She was dressed in all pink tight Capri pants, a hot pink tee-shirt that said in sparkly letters, ‘BARBIE’ and she was dancing to the music, “IM a Barbie girl”
My mouth dropped and I started laughing she was stunned at first, then she started to laugh with me. We were laughing for a bit and then she told me that she liked that song.
I thought it was kind of prissy but perhaps that is the kind of girl Julie wanted to be. I had the feeling that she was just being silly.
I ordered a pizza for us to eat and after we ate, I told Julie that we really needed to talk about something serious.
She was sitting across from me wearing one of my purple miniskirts and the Barbie tee-shirt.
“Well Julie, you know that there is a trial coming pretty soon. As soon as they get though the defence motions, they will go ahead with the trial and I am told that you will have to testify. You are vital to it all. “
“I know, Crystal. I will testify, “ She told me
I knew but that wasn’t all. “That is good and I know you are a very strong girl. We need to get you over to the DA’s office so you can be prepped. But there are other matters too. Like school. “
She cringed. “I know what things were like. I want to get you into a private girls school. Where there are only girls and no boys to mistreat you. “
“That sounds nice, Crystal. How can you do that when I am a boy.”
I told her, “You are not a boy. You are going though transition. You are a girl. I think there is a chance if we have the right support. The point is that I Must get you into school or the state will take you away from me. I would hate that to happen. We are meeting a nice woman that I know that will help us. I want you to be nice to her.”
“Okay Crystal. If you trust her!”
“I do she isn’t like that other bitch that hurt you.”
“Yeah, She thought it was hot to stick a penis looking rubber thing up me.” Julie started sniffeling.
I walked over and hugged her. I told her in a soothing voice, “Julie, try not to think of those things. She will go to jail for what she did to you.”
She looked up, “No you don’t understand. It freaked me out. I didn’t know about those things before. I mean, I knew they were made but this was different. It was much different. She was like wearing it so she could use it on me like a boy uses his thing. It was like a leather harness thing that the penis rubber locked onto to, it wrapped around her hips and stuck out of her crotch. When I was forced over, it felt like I was being abused by a guy. But she was a woman. It freaked me out and I’m still not over it!” Julies small body trembled and her face looked contorted with mental anguish. Below her blonde bangs, her eyes poured tears out. I moved next to her and wrapped my arms around her.
I started getting angry again. Julie never said this to the police. This wasn’t just abuse he was discussing. It was rape. Oh my god, it was so hard to believe that my friend would do something so horrible to my sister. I know she did that to me and she had those kinds of toys. We played force games together where she was the mock aggressor but I never imagined she would really do it to anyone, much less a innocent child. We had to have another discussion with the DA about upgrading the charges against her.
I just held Julie and told her, “I am sorry about what she did to you and I am sorry for ever trusting her. For now on Julie, I will have to be very careful over who I trust with you. “
She hugged me back and said, “Crystal, it isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself please. Blame her. She hurt me!”
“I know Julie.”
Our doorbell rang. I stood up as Julie visibly prepared herself to meet a new person.
I went and opened the door and it was her. Melanie standing there in a sexy looking mini, a white blouse that showed the black straps underneath. She always liked to dress sexy. I once asked her around it and she casually said, why cant an attorney look sexy but still be taken seriously.
It was true, and no one misstaked her as someone not to be taken seriously after they knew her. Her opposition would always find out she was very competent. She usually won. She was very good at her work.
She gazed down at Julie, she asked, “Is this the child that you mentioned. ”
“Yes, Melanie,” I said. “This is Julie.” She was beside me looking up at Melanie. She looked uneasy but I held her hand hoping to reassure her.
She looked at Julie for a few long seconds. Then she said, “My lord, there is no boy in her. Not even an Adams apple. Before I can help Julie, I need to know more about her so I can know what kind of placement would be appropriate for her. Can you get me her records crystal? “
She knelt down and told Julie, “I am on your side Before we place her in a school, I know a few talented tutors that will work with her. Don’t worry crystal; I can get her in a good school in two weeks or less. “
She took Julies hand and said, “Lets sit down and talk. Tell me about when you were a boy and what convinced you that you were better off as a girl.”
Melanie had sat down beside Julie and she was waiting for an answer. Julie looked afraid and very reluctant to answer her. I could tell by the look on her face and her posture. This stranger, to her had asked a very sensitive question and her experiences hadn’t been very pleasant.
I took Julies hand and said to Melanie, “Can you wait here while I talk with my sister please, Melanie. I know you mean well but she is very afraid right now. I think that I can talk to her.”
I asked Julie to follow me and we headed toward my bedroom while Melanie stayed in the living room. Once we were there, I sat down on the edge of the bed and she sat down beside me. I put my arm around Julie hoping to make her feel comforted and safe.
“Julie, my sister,” I said softly. “This woman is one of my best friends and she hasn't ever hurt anyone. I trust her a lot more than I ever trusted that Amber. She is just trying to help you so I will need you to cooperate with her please. Can you do this for me?”
Julie looked up and our eyes met. I could tell she was still afraid and not entirely trusting my judgment but she nodded and said, “Yea, I will try to trust her. If that is what you want.”
“Yes,” I answered. “If you let her, she will help you. So we need to trust her unless she shows that she cant be trusted. But I personally don’t think that will ever happen. Please answer her for us. She will make it so you will live with me and no one will separate us. Can you answer her questions please?”
That seemed to help reassure her. She said firmly, “Yes I can Crystal. Thank you for doing this.“
I knew that she would cooperate even though she had a very unsure, worried expression on her face. I mean, she had a deep frown, her eyes looked around in suspicion, she kept fidgeting, Those were signs that she was upset.
We went back into the living room where Melanie was waiting. I carefully glanced over at Julie and saw that she has a more assured look. It was as if she was ready to tell a big secret. I only hoped that she would cooperate with this woman.
Julie sat down across from the woman. She braced herself and took a breath and let it out very slowly. “You asked me what made me feel that I was better off as a girl?”
She said, “Yes, Julie and I still want to know, that is, if you are ready.”
“I am,” Julie said. “I do not remember exactly when I realized that I felt better as a girl than as a boy. I do know that my mother hated Brian. Even when my sister lived with us, she helped my sister Crystal out and yet she never helped me out with school work and such. She only treated me with hostility. I was treated like a outsider. I saw how she treated my sister and how she treated me. I was around eleven years old when I decided to try being a girl to see if I could win my mothers approval. It only provoked laughter from her, I never showed Crystal for some reason. But I didn’t stop. I kept trying harder to convince her that I was a girl. It didn’t work, but it did get some unwanted attention from a guy that she was dating at the time. But you had asked what convinced me, it was trying to gain my mothers approval at first. But I realized that I fell into it and I didn’t like being a boy after that. I spent more and more time as a girl and then I found that I didn’t want to turn back.”
Melanie listened and then asked, “When did your mother accept you enough to get you onto hormone treatment?”
I noticed that Julie suddenly stiffened uncomfortably. Her face seemed to darken. I wrapped my arms around her and told Melanie, “I don’t think that is important now.“
“It is OK Crystal. “ Julie said, “Melanie, it wasn’t my mother that did that. It was Richard. I said that me dressing like a girl provoked unwanted attention. The first time, I was alone with him. Mom worked late and I was dressed in one of my sisters old night gowns. You see, my sister was out for the night with one of her friends. Richard saw me and told me to come and sit down with him. I remember that I didn’t want to but he was very insistent. He was in that mood where he didn’t accept ‘no’. He pulled me to him and I ended up sitting on his lap. I felt him stiff, under my gown. He started rubbing his hands on me and I remember feeling very, sickened, uncomfortable. He kept asking me if he was making me feel more girly. I remember crying. I was saying no as he started kissing my cheek and my lips. He started moving his hips around and then he stood up and pulled his jeans down. Then he made me rock myself on him until it was too much. Then he pulled my panties down and and…”
Tears were streaming down Julies face. I held her tightly, she whispered, “That was the first time I had sex. Richard had sex with me. I remember feeling so dirty. It hurt a lot but he made sure to use a lot of what he called, lubricant. Mother came in much later and I was still being held near him. Mother smiled and went to bed. He let me go and they seemed to talk about it.
After that, mother seemed to accept me as a girl but she was never warm toward me. But after that, I was being taught how to conduct myself as a girl, by mom and Richard. Richard got me some hormones to start taking. He pushed it all.”
I felt sick. I never imagined that my mother was so cruel. She let this horrific abuse happen under her nose.
She asked, “While he was molesting you, did your mother ever see it happen? Did she ever encourage it?”
Julie seemed to think for a while, then she said, “Yes. but she didn’t care much either way. It was like it gave her a break from sex with him if I took some of the load. She walked in a few times but just walked back out. She left me there knowing exactly what would happen. Some times, when she would leave for a whole weekend, she made sure to dress me extra sexy for the occasion. She made me up pretty. Makeup, lingerie, the works. She had a talk with me, she told me that while she was gone, I was to behave as his wife. It was revolting, but I did it for her approval and love. And I was his wife, because there was no other option. I realized early on, refusing him brought punishments. Rapes, beatings, she would even locked me in my room for days without any food. “
I could see that Melanie seemed pleased. She said, "Since your mother knew it all and let it continue, even helping it, even encouraging it. We can make a good case against her. I think we are better off going against Richard though. We can make him pay for your school. Julie what did she mean by, as his wife?”
“Sex, he had sex with me a lot. I kept the place clean, did laundry, cooking, and sex with him. The sex was: oral, anal, my hand, my breasts, any part of me would get him off, and the various positions of anal too. I never knew how many. Sitting on him, on the floor on all fours, laying on my back on the bed. And when mom brought that latex pussy thing, he would even do missionary on me. That was a strange thing too because, it somehow attached to my senses so that to make me feel the vaginal sex penetration. It was freaky. I felt the sensation of vaginal sex. I could feel contact with the vagina and it got wet. I had to serve him and be subservient, wanting, faking orgasms, Some of them real, the whole model Stepford Wife thing.“
I wanted to puke. Mother was very sick and perverted!! She had let this man rape my brother, making her son pretend to be her own husbands substitute wife. This was beyond sick. They BOTH had a lot to answer for, AND PAY THEY WOULD!!
Melanie stood up and said, “Thank you Julie. You are a very strong girl to go through all of that and answer my questions. You did help me a lot. I will start drawing up the papers to file a suit against Richard. I hope that he will settle and give Crystal enuogh to put you though school but if not, oh well. “
Julie smiled and thanked Melanie but then just walked into her bedroom and shut the door. I guessed that it was emotionally draining. Not all of the questions were answered and now, at least for me, there were even more questions. Like why did I always see Brian when I was fifteen and sixteen if she was being made into a girl. How did they get those doctors appointments to make this all official? It was all very maddening. I simply wanted the truth. It seemed to me that like the truth was hidden from me and I still had no clue about my Sister.
Once Melanie left, I peeked into my sister’s bedroom. Her clothes were all off and she looked like she was crying. She was face down into her pillow, her body was heaving as if from powerful sobs. I went over to her bed and put my arm around her. I asked her, "Is there was something that I can do?"
She looked up with her tear stained face and said, “No, just stay here with me and hold me if you don't mind. “
I just stayed there with my arms wrapped protectively around Julie for a while. I felt her soft cries and the tears making my blouse wet. Her small head was cradled on my shoulder. This was so sweet and I felt myself slowly become even more protective of my sister. I knew that she needed my support and protection now more than ever before. I needed to protect her if she were to ever survive. I seriously doubted that she could survive without me. I fervently hoped that Melanie could help us.
It was more than thirty minutes later when she finely stopped crying and she rose her head up and said, “I feel better now, do you want to go get ice cream?”
“There is always room for ice cream, Julie.” I told her,” but as you can see, I am wet, lets get cleaned up first. “
What she needed was a shower. So I headed to my bedroom to take off my wet shirt and change, and freshen myself up. I changed and heard her turn on the shower. After she finished and came out with a towel wrapped around her, she seemed much better. She was dressed and we were ready to head out. Julie was wearing one of my blue miniskirts and a pink top that hugged her chest. I didn’t see any boy in her at all.
I asked her, "Do you want to go shopping for clothes after we had ice cream?"
Her face burst into a bright smile as she said, Yes, I'd like that very much." Her smile looked like it could brighten a room.
“Lets go and get some ice cream them,” I said cheerfully. We got in the car and drove off.
I kept glancing at Julie. I finely asked her, “Julie how did it feel for you when you had to be a boy?”
Julie seemed like she was fretting for an answer. After a what seemed like a full minute, she told me. “Crystal, when I had to be a boy, it was like I was all tense, I had to watch myself carefully. I had to make sure Julie was hidden. I had to make a big effort to be Brian. Being Julie was much easer and it made me happy. As Brian, I was very unhappy.”
That made a lot of sense. I think that was when finely understood. “Thank you Julie. Don’t let anyone convince you that you aren’t a girl. I love my sister very much.”
We pulled into a Dairy Queen and walked in. I watched Julie carefully to make sure she was safe. We both ordered dilly bars and sat down at a table to eat them. Julie sat down gracefully and smoothed her skirt behind her. I mentally noted that her movements were very feminine. I don’t know how I didn’t notice that before. It is so obvious now. I also saw Julie glance over at a few boys nearby in the next table. There were three boys around the same age as Julie. Julie shifted in her seat uncomfortably as one of the boys smiled at her. She leaned over to me and said quietly but with a touch of fright, “Crystal, lets get out of here please!”
I knew she felt very uncomfortable with boys so I said, “Alright Julie.”
I took her hand and we stood up and left. We passed their table and one of the boys reached over and pinched Julies butt. She jumped and squealed. She hurried out the door as I followed. I felt like decking that boy but I wanted to be with Julie.
She begun to feel sick in the car as we drove away. She said, “Crystal, lets just go home please. I don’t feel like shopping anymore.”
“Alright, Julie. We can shop tomorrow morning. I am sorry about that.”
“It isn’t your fault that boys are jerks. You have nothing to feel sorry about. You protected me. Lets go home and get some sleep. “
We did and she ran up to her bedroom, covered up. She was just curled up in her bed and I stayed with her trying to comfort her.