When Paths Cross
Caution: Suicide referenced
My life changed today.
That sounds like a cliché, but it's true.
And since it's almost Halloween, maybe that’s why things happened like they did.
But I should begin at the beginning, with what had become a depressingly typical experience for me, getting beat up.
Pretty much since I had moved to this neighborhood last year, I had been a constant target for bullies. Their official reason for the abuse was that I was a “sissy”, but I felt sure if that hadn’t been the excuse, they would have found something else.
Especially since they had no idea how much of a “sissy” I was.
Mind you, neither did I, until today.
They weren’t stupid, and used words instead of fists on those occasions when they thought they might get caught, so when the fists and feet first stopped hitting me, I assumed they had spotted an adult who might interfere with their “fun”.
I was wrong.
I hadn’t taken any headshots yet, otherwise I would have believed I was hallucinating because of a concussion.
Because coming towards the group of bullies surrounding me was a girl.
She was wearing a white dress that fluttered in the breeze, which covered her to just above her bare feet.
I could tell her feet were bare in part because they weren’t touching the ground.
Then I looked further up her body, and if I had been capable of doing so, I might have tried to run,
Because her head was tilted oddly to one side, and it only took me a moment to realize that it was in such a position because her neck was broken.
My tormentors seemed as unable to move as I was, as she drifted slowly towards us.
And then she spoke, in a cold, alien voice.
“What do we have here? Children. I can’t really PLAY with children.”
The way she said “play” sent shivers up my spine.
She seemed focused on the bullies, but that didn’t make me feel much safer when she said, “But I can still give a lesson, oh yes I can.”
Then she reached out her hands, and flame came out of them, engulfing my tormentors, who began to scream.
I closed my eyes, unwilling to watch such horror, but a moment later the screaming stopped and I peeked, and saw that the bullies seemed unharmed, physically at least.
Somehow I knew that mentally was a different story.
Then she said, “Go, children. But do not forget this lesson.”
And the bullies ran off, leaving me alone with the girl.
“Is it my turn now?” I asked, trying to get to my feet so at least I could meet my fate standing.
“You are already in more pain than I would be allowed to give, even if you were not also a child, and even if you hadn’t summoned me” She responded.
I said I didn’t summon her, couldn’t have summoned her.
“The walls between worlds are thin here, child. Your voice carried far.” she replied.
And she showed me crying in my bedroom, crying out for justice, for vengeance, or even for my tormentors to just leave me alone.
I wept.
“Clearly you are not ready for my talents.” The creature said, “but as a thank you for summoning me and bringing me such entertainment, let me show you something”
The world around us vanished.
If you had asked me where I thought we were going, I would have pictured Hell itself, but what I saw was a quiet park with sweet smelling flowers and freshly mown grass.
In front of us was a still lake, and it was to this the creature pointed to, saying, “Look in the water.”
I obeyed, and saw a reflection I didn’t recognize.
My reflection was that of a girl.
“I’m a girl? How?” I exclaimed.
“This is a place of spirit. And as you see, your spirit is that of a girl” the creature replied.
Before I could really process that, the park, the flowers, the lake, and my female reflection were gone, and we were back where we started.
The creature said, “this plane is . . . uncomfortable for me, so I will leave. But let me say one more thing before I go. You see this body I wear? She was like you, a girl spirit trapped in a male body. She could not find a way to change that paradox, and so negated her existence. You now know what you are, and the challenge you face. Perhaps, you will do better than she did. Or perhaps you will follow her fate, in which case I may be wearing your body the next time I’m on this plane. Regardless, we are now connected, and that will allow me to watch what happens. I suspect it will be very entertaining - for me at least.”
With that, the creature faded away, leaving me alone.
And not sure what else to do, I staggered home, and hid in my room, as I’ve always done.
Which leads me to right now, trying to make sense of what happened.
And even if I don’t know what that creature was, I’ve come to one decision. No matter what, I won't give it the satisfaction of watching me give up.
Somehow, someway, some day, I’ll be the girl I saw in the reflection.
The alternative is not one I even want to think about.
To be continued . . .
When Paths Cross 2
It's been two months since I encountered a creature, who saved me from a beating by some bullies, and then was forced to face the truth that I am a girl in a boy’s body.
At the time, I vowed that I would find a way to get my inner girl out to frustrate the monster who had apparently expected me to give up. But the first couple of days showed me there wasn’t going to be an easy path forward.
There was a newscast about a proposed “bathroom bill”, so that you’d have to prove you were born as a woman to use the woman’s bathroom, and my mom’s attitude wasn’t sympathetic to trans people, it was obvious she considered them mentally ill and in need of a cure.
My stepfather didn’t even have that much compassion, and thought they should be beaten up if they try to use the ladies room, and then went on a rant about how the culture is “feminizing” boys and men.
This sent me into a spiraling depression.
Then something completely unexpected happened. I came home from school one day, to find both my mother and my stepfather waiting for me.
They looked worn out, and my mother’s eyes were red as if she had been crying for hours.
And then I saw the creature who had saved me from the bullies, still in the body of a trans girl who had committed suicide. There was something different about her, she seemed less frightening, kinder.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her.
“I have shown your parents your truth. I have shared with them your pain. They . . . understand now.”
Then my mother said, “I can’t believe I didn’t know, didn’t see how much you were struggling.”
Even my stepfather seemed kinder than he’d been, and he actually asked for my forgiveness for how he’d treated me.
After we talked for a while, I was able to pull the creature aside, and ask what had happened.
“There is a human saying, ‘pride goes before a fall.’ That is what happened to me. Before, when I visited this plane, I stayed in spirit form, but this time I took control of this girl who had passed away, thinking it would create a larger effect.”
“It certainly did that” I said, “but why did it make such a difference for you?”
“This body had the impression of the girl’s soul still in it. An echo, you could say. The more time I spent inside, the more that soul influenced me. And she could not stand the possibility of you having the same fate as she had. So eventually, I had no choice but to make the attempt to make sure that didn’t happen.”
I looked over at my parents, and then said, “It looks like you succeeded. So will you be returning to your home plane now?”
“I cannot” it replied, “I am bonded to this body, and it cannot survive there.”
I asked, “Then what will you do?”
“I will probably die. This body has no protection against hunger, thirst, or cold. And I have nowhere to go.” it replied.
“What about the family of the body you’re wearing?” I asked.
“Unlike your parents, who only needed a nudge to see the truth, her parents are a brick wall. Even if I still had all my power, I wouldn’t be able to reach them without breaking them. And my power is almost gone in any case.”
“You could stay here, with us. Right, Mom?” I said.
“We owe you a great deal for preventing a tragedy from happening to our ... daughter.” my mom said, “So yes, you could stay with us.”
The creature was silent for a while. Finally, it said, “I can make it so I have always been a part of the family, so there would be no questions. If I do, though, I will be all but powerless. I will basically be a normal human girl.”
“There are worse things to be,” I pointed out.
My mom said, “Obviously you can’t go by the name of that poor girl. We need to give you a new one. How about . . . Hope.”
“That is a name I can try to live up to,” it said, and used its power.
So now I have a new sister, and all of us together have Hope.