A Coy Pond and a Couple of Trees Part 2
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Giselle meets a couple more people, and even leaves her house. All this while her backyard gets a little more amazing... Hope YOU like it...

***

Tuesday Night

I decided if I was going to meet Derrick I would dress a little sexy. Why not. This was supposed to be a week of experimenting with sex, and I might as well join in. It's what Lainie would have wanted, I tried to convince myself.

I had on a snake print mini dress. It was so tight I had to wear a waist cincher. It was sleeveless and showed so much of my cleavage. I wore a thick collar to cover the breast form seam and my expensive gold necklace positioned right above my boobs. I had on nude pantyhose and nude six-inch platform pumps. I wore more makeup slightly heavier than usual, then glued on my big false eyelashes. I painted my nails red, the same color as my lips, and slipped on my big golden hoops.

I clicked down the stairs to wait for the men. Bryson had something to do after working on the yard and he told me he would be back in a couple of hours. This was better, I could get myself all dressed up and then mentally prepared. I had a date and I was ready for it. The orgasm he had given me today was a complete ice breaker.

I had a bottle of wine all ready when the bell rang. Bryson had been walking in and out the last couple of days it was nice that he was finally being respectful to me.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, I would be meeting someone else like a girl. It used to scare the hell out of me but I think I was finally getting used to it after only two days.

"Giselle, god you look great." Bryson took me in his arms and kissed me on the lips. We moved more into my living room. "This is Derrick, my son."

Derrick walked in and took my hand. He was as tall and as handsome as his father. "Dad was right you are totally beautiful." He smiled at me as I led them in. He handed me some flowers.

"Thank you, let me put these in water and I will pour us some wine." I had them sit around the coffee table.

It's crazy but I didn't really remember seeing Derrick around on the block, though he said he had lived here his entire life. I was so unobservant and I tended to rush into the house. Bryson then put his arms around me. I was thinking this was it, I would have to take care of both of them now. but we just started talking and I was liking the attention. He was telling Derrick how he would watch me while I was in the backyard. "I never imagined," He told us, "That this sexy woman would be in my arms right now. You know you would never look at me." He laughed as he gauged my reaction.

"You were probably being sneaky, I never noticed you, I thought I was all alone."

"You won't be all alone anymore," He then kissed me. I opened my lips. It was my first real kiss from a man, and I felt Derrick watching us approving. Then the front bell rang.

Derrick stood up, "I'll get it, that's got to be Terri."

"Terri?"

We were still on the couch when Derrick came back in.

"Giselle, I'd like you to meet my fiance."

"Hi. Oh, my gawd. Look at you." She skipped over as I stood up. She kissed my cheek and I felt her stubble. She had long brown hair and was about as tall as me in her heels, she was quite nice looking, except for the slight shadow of her beard line. Terri was definitely a crossdresser.

I was a little confused and looked at Bryson. Did I now have to take care of the three of them?

"Terri lives in the green house across the street, what are the odds of two hot trannies on the same block."

I got another glass for Terri as she sat into Derricks' arms, they looked quite comfortable together.

I poured the wine and we cheered to new friendships and Terri told us how they met. "I was trying to sneak into my garage with my car but it wouldn't open. The block was filled with kids and neighbors, ha, I was wearing a tiny, tiny, mini I didn't want anyone to see."

"It was too late, I saw. When she came out of the car she had the most incredible legs." Derrick then kissed her. "I ran over so fast to give her a hand. I really wanted to see who the owner of all that hair was."

"I wasn't used to talking to someone I didn't know. Then Ray walked out, gawd, he was so pissed."

Derrick laughed, "He was pissed at me talking to his girlfriend,"

Terri interrupted, "And at me for talking to another man. And for going out in a dress in the first place. He doesn't like me in drag. Haha."

Ray was her boyfriend, and I knew I had seen him. He would say hello in the morning when he would walk to the subway. I had seen him Friday.

"I now have two boyfriends," Terri giggled, "One for my girl side and one for my boy side. I like the girl side so much better of course." And then they kissed, it was nice. I liked the two of them right away and Derrick seem to really have feelings for her.

***

We talked and drank for most of the night, I was enjoying myself. I had company and my body was leaning into Bryson, I was loving being in someone's arms. Then things took a little turn.

Terri disengaged from her fiance's arms and moved closer to me. "You know one of the boys' biggest fantasies, don't you? Tandem blow jobs, ha." She giggled, she wanted to see my technique for giving head, even though I told her I didn't have any. "Come on boys, down with the pants. This is the moment you have been waiting for." She was a little crazy and very funny, I decided to do whatever she wanted. I was liking her very much and as long as I didn't have to suck multiple cocks I was happy.

"I don't know how proficient I am at this," I told her and they all laughed, but I was serious. They all thought I was a wanton woman but in reality, I was just an amateur crossdresser.

The men sat on the couch with their pants and briefs at the ankles. I moved the coffee table and we kneeled between their legs. I couldn't believe I was going to do this. Looking at my long nails gave me a little more incentive.

"Wait," Terri yelled and got up to take a video with her phone. "The internet will love this." She then got back down and played with Derrick's cock. "Do what I do, Giselle, I am a pro at giving head."

I suddenly felt very glamourous with my long red nails and my hair touching Bryson's thighs. Both me and Terri were about the same height in our heels and on our knees. and we dipped our heads to take the cocks into our mouths. Father and son blow jobs.

We were just two women taking care of two men. I followed what she was doing, there was room for so much improvement. She was able to take the entirety of her boyfriend's cock into her mouth but I kept gagging and coughing. She told me I just needed a little more practice. I started wondering if I would be doing more of this in the future. I couldn't see Lainie letting me have a man over the house to practice my sucking. I could imagine that conversation though; 'Oh, Lainie, Bryson is coming over for some head, I'll try not to let his moans drown out the television.'

I loved the feel and heat emanating from his dick, it just wasn't the same with the dildo I had hidden upstairs. The dildo wasn't as thick as Bryson and it usually wasn't attached to a body when it was in my mouth. My favorite part was him lightly playing with my hair and holding my hand. Our fingers were intermingling, I felt a little special.

"Come on baby," Terri was encouraging Derrick. "I want you to cum, cum for me." She then went down on him again, I was impressed.

Soon I felt Bryson tense up and he started moving a little faster, his hands now on my shoulders. I engulfed him again and waited for my prize. Soon he was cumming into my mouth. I had to lean back and have him slip out of me for some air. I watched him pump, and then some more jism flew from his cock. I went back and cleaned all the sperm off of his dick and thighs. My hand went to push into my crotch and I started to cum. I tried to look at him but I kept closing my eyes, it was way too intense. I was trying to watch Bryson's smile as I felt my panties fill up with spunk. When I was done I rested on his lap looking up at him, I felt wonderful. I didn't realize they were all watching. I was completely lost in my own orgasmic state.

Terri ran her fingers through my hair as I laid my head on Bryson's lap. "Looks like I need some lessons from you, honey." And then they all laughed, including me.

***

It was late, everyone was getting ready to leave.

"Since the boys are going to be busy in your yard tomorrow, I set up a spa day for us."

I was surprised, I never went out of the house as a woman, but I would totally love a day at a spa. "Maybe you should go without me, I'm not comfortable around people I don't know."

"Well you know me and I will introduce you to everyone."

"But..."

Terri put her finger to my lips. "Eh eh eh, no buts." We walked to the door and I hugged Terri goodbye, maybe it would be nice to have a friend. "Be ready at nine, we can have a quick workout. Then we can leave at noon, let's make the boys pay for a limo, ha."

I then kissed Bryson, it was late and I was worn out. I held onto him as he held and rubbed my body. He kissed me again, his tongue in my mouth, and his hands on my ass. I could feel him trying to lift up my tight dress.

"Let's save that for another day," I told him between kisses. I had never been this sexually fulfilled in my life.

"Before I go, I want to show you something." He took my hand and led me into the backyard. He turned on a switch and the lights went on, new and bright. "This is what I picked up before I came over." He pointed to the pond that the men had created at the far end of the yard. "Like it?"

The pond was bigger than I imagined and surrounded by lights and a little fountain. The water was continuously running and sounded wonderful. "Oh my god, I love it." The pond was filled with fish, there had to be twenty of them.

"You won't be alone in your backyard anymore." He smiled and we watched the fish swim. We watched for a long time.

***

Wednesday

Terri came over early and we heard the men enter the backyard. We watched them through the blinds.

"You know if you'd like we could take care of every one of those sweaty men." She told me, looking out the window. I was a little nervous thinking she would really ask them. She had a devilish gleam in her eyes.

We then did a workout that she was obsessed with.

"First take this." And she handed me two pills. "This is mainly for our butts, men love a nice big rear end." I did notice that hers was very round and firm, it was probably her best feature. We did squats and worked with weights for an hour and then we got ready to head into the city for our spa day.

I went to get showered and changed. Terri wanted us to be in something comfortable and then the spa was going to dress us in one of their outfits. I couldn't wait. I pulled on a black dress with red roses, my three-inch black heels, and a matching bag. I then got ready to leave, but I remembered my one piece of jewelry that didn't get clipped to my ears. I never wore it. It lived in a little purple box inside my vanity. A necklace. I had it for so long, I was always afraid I was going to lose it.

When the limo pulled up all the men including Bryson and Derrick stopped to watch. Part of me was nervous leaving as a girl, I wasn't used to being seen while dressed, but being with Terri made it so much easier. She even waved to people on the block as we got into the limo. We then waved goodbye to the men through the windows and headed into Manhattan.

***

An hour later we were in a private room at the Butterfly Studio Salon. Ara, a beautiful Korean woman made us get undressed and put on robes, she also made us wash off our makeup and take off our wigs. Terri's hair was so much shorter than mine. My hair landed right below my shoulders, if I could style it instead of wearing a wig I would.

"Bend over onto this table," Ara asked us. We did and soon our bare asses were getting cold. First, she gave us both injections, I was totally unprepared for it and yelped. "Ha, just one more in the other cheek." She then rubbed lotion all over our backsides. "This is 'Buttocks Plumping Lotion' I want you two to rub this in every morning and night. I'm going to also give you supplements to take home."

Ara told us we were receiving 'Brazilian Butt Boost,' it was part of the spa package. It was the same pill Terri gave me this morning. We then went into the steam room and then into a pool. The only thing femme about us was our mascara but no one even noticed. We were soon talking to other CDs and women.

Next was a shower and I was taught to use an enema. After we dried off we headed back into the salon. Ara brought in little swatches and matched them to my skin. She told me it was a surprise for tomorrow. She then took strands of hair from a book and matched them to mine.

"Another surprise." She told us and I looked at Terri who gave me a huge smile.

We were now on a table where all the hair on our body was removed, especially from places I couldn't reach. Next came a full-body massage. More lotion was put on our bodies and then Ara tucked our 'clits.' She used a tiny piece of surgical tape and laughed when I was surprised at the new woman in the mirror.

"Ha, it is still there, just on a little vacation for a couple of days, haha." She put us in bras, panties, and pantyhose and then picked us out outfits. She was going to match our makeup to the clothes she picked out for us. She talked the whole time making sure I knew what she was doing. She wanted us to learn. I knew it was going to take me longer than one lesson to get even close to mastering it. Another two women came in and did our nails. Soon I had long dark red extensions to match my toes. Next came our wigs, which were cleaned and restyled and looking better than ever. They parted mine on the side and the long red locks landed on my breasts.

Soon we were standing in front of the large mirrors. I had on a black glittery dress which came down way above my knees, my barely black stockings shining in the light. The dress was long sleeve and showed a fair amount of cleavage that Ara created for me. My heels were black, strappy six-inch platforms with a sexy ankle strap.

Ara watched the two of us primp in front of the mirror. "You know this is just the preamble to the main event."

"Is it?" I smiled.

"Yes, I want to see the two of you tomorrow at 2:00 pm. You two are going to be beyond gorgeous."

***

I couldn't drag my image away from the mirror. I couldn't believe how passable and different I looked. Terri also looked amazing, her beard line was completely gone. She told me she had to shave every six hours, but she just started laser treatments. I decided I would go with her in the future. It wasn't easy being a perfect 'woman.'

The salon gave us new matching pocketbooks and a shopping bag with our arriving outfits in them. I slipped on big black sunglasses and we headed out to the front of the salon, clicking on the tiled floor.

"Terri! Oh my god, your gorgeous." An older woman slung her arms around her. "Let me see."

Terri posed and gave a little twirl. "Mom, this is my friend Giselle, Bryson's girlfriend." Wait, was I a girlfriend. That little phrase made me all kinds of excited and with a huge smile on my face I hugged Terri's mom.

Wait Terri's mom?

"Call me Teresa."

We followed her outside into the chaos of the city. I was loving the attention my legs were getting from passing men. I was strutting and I never strutted. One spa day and my confidence was booming. We walked towards the corner and Teresa stopped in front of a huge RV.

The door opened and she ushered us inside. "This is my husband, Greg." Terri gave him a hug, it was her stepfather. We moved into the back and sat at a table as the RV took off. "I cannot wait for this weekend dear, you must be so excited."

***

As we headed over the Manhattan Bridge, Teresa poured some Kahlua shots with cream sitting on top.

"Let's toast to my little girl and her beautiful friend." She held up her glass.

"My very beautiful friend," Terri smiled, and then we drank.

"This is the only indulgence I have. Little tiny shots of coffee, I love it." She smiled and I fell in love with her, I wished my mother was receptive to my crossdressing. "You know," She moved closer to me, "I love Terri with an 'I' much more than Terry with a 'Y.'" She laughed as Terri with an 'I' shook her head.

"Mom doesn't care for gay men." She shrugged, "So she turned me into a girl."

We all giggled, but it made me wonder if it was true. I wanted her to turn me into a girl too. Please.

***

Wednesday Night

By the time we had dinner in the kitchen of the RV and headed back to Rockaway the men in my yard were gone. Bryson had texted me and said he would be busy tonight with the payroll for his company. I was actually going to miss him. Terri's step-father pulled up onto the quiet block and moved into Terris' driveway, it took over the whole space. In Manhattan, it looked tremendous but in Rockaway, it looked almost a block long.

Once we were outside, Ray, Terri's other boyfriend came out to say hello. He hugged Teresa and her husband and then they went to go back into the RV.

"Mom you can stay in the house," Terri told her. "We have plenty of room."

"No, Greg likes his mattress, we are going to head down to the beach parking lot. We don't want to be in the way."

Terri shrugged and she invited me inside instead. She whispered to me, "She doesn't want to acknowledge my gay boyfriend."

She showed me her house, it was set up like mine but her yard was only a tenth of the size. She then showed me the pictures on her walls of Ray and her male self. "Ray will be gone by next week, right honey!" She called to him in the other room.

"I would stay if you let me!"

She whispered, "He won't stay with me in dresses. He doesn't like drag queens. Wait until he finds out I am now presenting myself as a feminine person. I was never a drag queen."

He then walked into the kitchen with us, He walked over to one of the pictures we were looking at, It was the two of them in cowboy hats. "Look how happy we look, we are the perfect couple." He looked back at Terri, "I don't understand how you could choose Derrick over me."

"Derrick loves the female me and you miss the other." She shrugged, I could tell Ray loved her. It must be hard for him, though Terri knew exactly what she wanted and what she was becoming. The pull to be female was very strong, I felt it myself all the time.

Ray grabbed her hand, "These nails are so long. This is really what you need? Wouldn't you rather need me?"

Terri smiled with a crooked grin. "I'm sorry baby, would you like us to give you head, Giselle can use the practice." I knew she was crazy so I shot her a surprised look.

"Ha, you should see your face, Ray wouldn't be able to get hard anyway with a girl on his dick, haha. Unless you want him to suck you?" Ray shook his head annoyed and went back into the other room.

"No thank you." I definitely didn't want that, when I was dressed up I was all woman.

***

End of Part 2 of 4

A Coy Pond and a Couple of Trees Part 3
By Sabrina G. Langton

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Author's Note: Gissele has a busy weekend coming up. We find out a little bit more about her past as her and Bryson start to fall in love. I hope YOU like it...

***

Thursday

Once again I was saying goodbye to Bryson and the men, to continue their work on my yard. I couldn't believe it was taking so long, all Lainie asked for was a pond and some trees. That morning I found her note 'I wanna coy pond and a coupla trees, that's it, how much?' Then a little scratch of a price underneath, this was so Lainie, it was messy and quick, I started to miss her a little. I sniffed the post-it, I tried to find her scent, I was thinking I should call her.

"Hey, Giselle! I can't wait to see you later." Bryson was smiling, I could tell he meant it. I started to get a little excited so I walked over to him, I was in my little dress and hugging him in the middle of the street. I was standing right in the middle of the street. The Limo was waiting to take us back to the salon. I knew the next time he saw me I would be a different 'woman,' well, according to the girls at the salon.

On the way to the city, Terri took something out of her pocketbook. "How do you like my ring?" She slipped it on her finger and showed it to me. "I don't like to wear it around Ray."

"It's stunning," I told her, it had so many diamonds and it must have cost a fortune.

"Ray was so mad at me when I accepted Derrick's proposal." She shrugged. "But he could have asked me first. I want to be a bride, don't you?"

I looked up, I wasn't ready for that type of question. "Mmm, I guess." I lightly touched my necklace, I knew it wasn't as beautiful as Terri's ring.

"Plus Ray doesn't want a bride. I think I would be too uncomfortable being married as two men anyway, but as a man and a woman, it will be nice. We will fit in on the block so perfectly."

Once back in the city the anticipation started again. I couldn't imagine what the women in the salon had in store for us.

"We are going to be busy today," Terri said while watching the traffic move around us. "I hope you have lots of stamina."

"I hope so too."

***

Once at the salon Ara ushered us into a dark room. We were going to start getting our hair removed by a laser, and today they were going to start inside our panties. We were soon panty-less on a massage chair. One woman was pointing a device near our crotch while another one was putting us in our new breast forms. We were both receiving D cups. The color was a perfect match and the silicone started right below the boobs and then right under my chin. It also covered my shoulders and some of my arms.

Then we had more shots and lotion on our asses. I felt a little numb this time and it seemed like my butt was bigger. We were then given robes and led into a different part of the salon. In two hours the workers gave us hair extensions. Mine was a perfect match to my own red hair. It was full of curls and landed right below my new boobs. They also gave us new lashes and my eyebrows became darker, thicker, and much more feminine. When they put us in front of a mirror I almost fainted, my heartbeat so much faster and my eyes began to tear. Then Ara pierced my ears, I began to tear even more. I now had diamonds glowing and shining through my hair.

We then went to get dressed, soon I was wearing a dark red velvet dress coordinating with the red on my long nails and lips. Underneath I had a tight corset. The dress was strapless and the sleeves were pushed down right above my elbows. I had on matching panties and nude pantyhose underneath and six-inch platform black heels. They put a velour collar around my neck to hide the seam of the breast forms. The boobs looked completely natural. Ara then helped me with my gold necklace.

Terri had on a dark purple dress, short with lots of cleavage we were both very sexy. "I can't wait for Derrick to start playing with my boobs, he is going to love them.'

Ara ushered us out and took some pictures in a small studio. While posing with the lights in our eyes I saw two figures watch us then approach.

Soon I was in Bryson's arms, "I'm sorry I missed you." I was quite shocked, I didn't expect to see him this afternoon, I would be more shocked as the day went on.

***

The four of us walked next door into a hotel and made our way to a place called 'Upstairs at the Kimberly Hotel.' We took the elevator to the roof. I felt so glamourous clicking in my heels and showing off my shoulders and cleavage. The space was beautiful, we were surrounded by glass and all the buildings of the city were peering in around us. I never went into places like this, but today I felt like I belonged here. My dress and hair were perfect, and I fit right in. All four of us walked into the bar, it was tremendous.

Derrick walked ahead of us and put his hands on a woman's shoulders who was sitting at the bar.

She turned around, "Huh... oh my lord you made it." And they hugged. They hugged for a long time, it sounded like the woman was crying.

Derrick then kissed her cheek and pulled Terri closer to him. "And this is Terri." The woman stood up. She was studying her from her purple heels to her dark brunette hair. She touched her cheek and then hugged her, Bryson and I watched from behind them. I felt strange being privy to such an intimate moment.

"Let me see the ring." I heard the woman ask. She then held it close, she smiled.

I held onto Bryson's arm as the older woman looked beyond the two of them to view us. She looked at me then Bryson.

"Hi, Susan, it's nice to see you again."

She walked around Derrick and Terri and leaned in to kiss Bryson. He smiled at her and then she turned her gaze on me. I felt like I didn't belong here, I was an outsider. "Susan, this is Giselle." Her eyes brightened, she seemed suddenly happy to see me. She kissed my cheek and told me I looked lovely.

We talked to Susan for a while as I watched the lights of the city turn on, I was so distracted. Someone handed me a glass of wine and we congratulated Susan. She suddenly started to cry again and she held Derrick. "I am so glad you showed up," She then looked toward Bryson. "You all look so perfect together. And you and Giselle are welcome to come too of course."

Bryson held me tighter, "Really? That would be great thank you."

I didn't really know what was going on, and I didn't want to ask. We drank our wine in the noisy bar and then Susan said she had to leave, we were going to see her later.

Terri turned to me, "I'm so happy she approves of us, ha. But of course, she would, girlfriend we are gorgeous." She then hugged me and we clinked glasses.

"Thank you for coming with me everyone, it's been so long," Derrick told us as he drew Terri closer to him. "My mother tends to make me nervous."

That little revelation started to make ME nervous. I turned to Bryson, "Is that your ex-wife?"

"It is. I haven't seen her in eight years. I knew she would love you."

"Me?"

He smiled, "Of course you, I never would have had the nerve to see her again if I didn't have you on my arm. You give me so much confidence."

A man then called out and announced, the wedding of Ted and Susan was about to start. I looked up at Bryson. "Are we going to a wedding?"

"I think so. We are definitely dressed for it."

***

Late Thursday Night

I couldn't believe I looked like a fashion model and was going to a wedding. I never thought that's where I would have ended up this morning. It should have been a traipse through my closet this week instead it was a run-through for real life.

They led us to a table next to the band, it was for six people. I was liking this even better, I wanted to show off. We met the two other people at the table, they were older and friends of the bride's. I couldn't wait to introduce myself. Starting right now I was a brand new person.

Susan and her soon-to-be husband were next to us at a table of eight. She waved as we walked through and introduced us to him. Then there was another table of seven on the other side of us. The seventh person was the photographer.

The restaurant was beautiful and surrounded by glass and further off New York City, Broadway never looked so good. I excused myself to wander while they served drinks and salad, I wanted to see what Fiftieth Street looked like from this vantage point, I wanted to see the city. I put my hands on the glass, I could see my reflection and I was quite content.

'Blamin' it all on the Nights on Broadway
Singin' them love songs
Singin' them straight to the heart songs'

The Bee Gees were running through my brain again, then the band started to play. Was I manipulated into coming here? Maybe, but who cares I looked phenomenal in the reflection of the window. Look at those breasts, I thought. It was fine, what was I worried about. I get a night out in a nice dress with friends, it was a weird surprise, that's all.

I went back to the table and sat with the others. Bryson stood and held my hand as we sat. Susan and Ted then stood up and a minister delivered their nuptials, it was nice and romantic. The hotel was beautiful and full of flowers and candles. Susan looked very happy to be getting married. Bryson told me she left him and Derrick years ago, he was glad she had finally found someone to love.

After the ceremony and dinner, we all got up to dance, me in my tight dress and high heels. I loved the sound they made when we got to the dance floor, and I hoped I didn't mess up. It would be my first time dancing with a man. The band started playing and Bryson held me in his arms. I was loving everything about this moment. The lights of the city were now above us. I looked up, I saw our reflection in the glass ceiling. My red hair was glowing from the lights.

"Are you having fun?" He whispered as I looked up at the sky.

"Mmm, I am," I whispered back. I didn't want to tell him that I had never been more excited in my life. Being all dressed up and hanging onto a man was doing something massive to the part of my brain which took care of my sexual desires. I started to think about Lainie, she would hate this. She always needed to sneak out early during anything that involved other people. Me? I would sit in the back and watch, I would take it all in with a drink in my hand. I wanted to be happy in my surroundings but sometimes it just didn't happen. Plus, I didn't want to be happy alone, I felt it didn't count. And other times the mood was all wrong, I could feel it with my fingers, it was tangible. Now here I was dancing and I was enjoying the company and the music. I glanced over at Terri and Derrick, they were dancing beside us. I was even happier for them. I was hoping Lainie was having as good a time as me. If not better.

Before the song ended Bryson started to sing along in my ear. "'Heaven Must be Missing an Angel.' Is this song about you?" he teased. "Cause you are here with me right now, ha."

Little did he know that singing to me was probably the easiest way to get into my panties. I loved that, it was so goofy to have someone sing to you, but I loved it.

He started singing the next song as the band mixed it up. "You know I can't smile without you, I can't laugh and I can't sing..."

I started to giggle, he was definitely turning me on with this corny song. I held him tighter as he kissed me, his tongue entering my mouth with ease. My hands around his neck and feeling his body press against me. His hands were tight on my narrow waist. I didn't want to separate, I wanted him to tear off my dress and make love to me right here on the dance floor. I could imagine myself saying 'Don't fuck me yet, just wait for the bridge.'

I stopped sucking his tongue and looked at this man holding me. "I don't really want to tell you this, but you singing to me is making me a little bit excited."

He looked a little surprised. "Of course it is. That's my technique. I sing to all my conquests." He smiled again. "Starting now."

"Everybody back to your seats for dessert," The waiters said and I reluctantly sat. My panties were so wet. I felt like such a dork, enjoying my date's attempt at wooing. It was something I was definitely not used to.

Terri was showing off her ring to our new friends at the table. "Derrick found this at an auction in Englishtown, New Jersey. It belonged to a woman who worked for Tiffany's, we think she stole it. She looked very devious, haha." She held it up to show us again, it was even more beautiful as it glowed from the candlelight.

Derrick smiled at me and noticed the chain around my neck. "Giselle, where did you get that necklace, it's gorgeous."

I just smiled and said it was a long story. Then Terri stood up and started hitting one of the glasses with a spoon. "Ladies and gentlemen, Giselle is going to tell us a yarn."

My mouth was wide open.

"Close that mouth dear," She told me, "and get on with it." She laughed and grabbed my hands. I looked around the table. I didn't like being the center of attention, plus Bryson's large calloused hands were investigating my thighs.

I theatrically took a large gulp of my red wine and placed Bryson's hand on the table where I could see it. I needed to concentrate.

"Are you sure you want to hear this? We could all get up to dance again instead if you want."

"Baby, just tell us." Terri laughed again. "I want to know something REAL about you. You are a freaking enigma."

The table laughed, I was beginning to enjoy myself... immensely.

To tell this story I would have to announce to the others that I was a crossdresser and I really wasn't looking forward to it. I didn't even know if these two other people would understand. But then I figured I was literally out of the closet what was the big deal. What was the big deal all of these years?

"Well, When I was younger I would go out every once in a while all dressed up, in a dress." I looked at the people at the table and they didn't seem too flustered or surprised so I continued. "I was twenty-one and I thought I was gorgeous. I used to go to Kings Plaza Mall in Brooklyn and window shop. I would go an hour earlier before the stores were opened, I was too nervous about seeing people close up. The only people in the mall were the older people doing their laps around the food court."

"Ahh, Giselle was making friends." Terri patted my hand.

"That's right... but, I really just loved hearing the click of my heels echo through the halls of the mall, and I loved going into the ladies' room. It was quiet and empty. One morning I was fixing my makeup and brushing my hair in the mirror, it used to be so long. Then, the lights went out. I got tense and slowly made my way out the door to head to the parking lot. It was like a dream, there was no one there and it was pitch black and completely quiet. The mall wouldn't be open for another half hour at least. I headed down the stairs holding on to the banister and went to look for the doors to the garage, they were locked. I walked back and went to turn right to go to another pair of doors when a man ran into me, knocking me over. I went flying, I even lost one of my heels. More importantly, he fell and dropped shopping bags that had broken and something noisy was sliding all over the floor. I felt some under me. I heard it but could barely see anything. I looked up and I thought I saw a knife and he was cursing me. He was cursing in two languages and getting closer. Suddenly the lights went on and three mall cops arrived with their guns drawn. Two grabbed him and one grabbed me."

"What? That's crazy." Bryson said and he moved closer to me. "Were you okay?"

"Mmm, not really but god, I was so nervous. I was wearing a little blue dress and one high heel, I was so embarrassed. The mall cops took me to an office and handcuffed me to a chair. I had a huge bruise starting to form on my arm where the guy ran into me. I also had a huge run in my stocking and I probably looked a mess. They told me I was looking at four years in jail."

Terri was listening with interest. "Four years for brushing your hair? They got some nerve."

"I was in the office for over two hours before someone came to view the Closed Circuit camera recordings. They watched me enter the ladies' room and then the stairwell, the same time the thief was in the store. They thought I was part of the team that robbed Lohmans Jewellers. Then they called my mother. She came about a half-hour later and dragged me out limping, she was so mad. She said I was an embarrassment, she made me sit in the backseat with a blanket around me." I shrugged, I felt a little sad and angry remembering.

Bryson held my wrist, "Ahh, then how did you get the necklace?"

"Well, a couple of days later I got a call. The Jeweller said they wanted me to come in so they could apologize. They were quite nasty to me while I was in the office. When my mother found out she screamed at me. She wouldn't let me go, but I snuck out anyway. I had to get all dressed up again so I got changed in the car. I was hoping they thought I was a real girl. I was thanked by Mr. Lohman himself and he gave me this necklace. He put it on me in front of a whole store of people and a photographer. It made the local news." I touched my necklace, it was the only jewelry I owned that didn't go on my ears. "I thanked them, they thanked me and I never went to the mall ever again. Or anywhere else."

"I will take you again." Bryson smiled at me and rubbed my hand.

"I locked myself in my room after that until I could afford my own place. I didn't even tell my mother I was leaving."

"So she thinks you are still in your room?" Terri commented.

"She does. She probably locked it from the outside. I haven't talked to her since."

***

The wedding was winding down, I was playing with my necklace and feeling a little sad after my story. Derrick and Bryson were talking to the Maitre d.

"I got us a room, is that okay?" Bryson told me. "It's so late." He sat down and gave me a little hug. "Someone is coming to get your sizes for clothes for tonight and tomorrow. A personal shopper."

I was surprised. "Really?" I wasn't ready to spend the night with a man. The night was so special I didn't want to spoil it. "Can we get two rooms?" I asked him. "I don't think I'll be comfortable if we shared one."

He just smiled at me, kissed my cheek, and headed back to talk to the Maitre d.

When he came back he grabbed me and we headed to the floor for one last dance. He kissed my neck, I was falling under his spell again. After our initial meeting, he became so nice, I liked how he was treating me. "Bryson?" He stopped and looked at me. "Um, maybe we can just sleep together. I think I would like that." I smiled at him. "Is that okay?"

I knew it would be okay.

***

Later Thursday Night

I loved dancing, I loved being held even more. I can't believe I went to a wedding, it was a dream come true for me. Getting all dressed up and dancing with a man. And now I couldn't believe I was about to share a hotel room with one.

We were no sooner inside our room for the night when there was a knock at the door. "Good evening." There was a young woman at the door with a shopping bag and a beautiful blue dress on a hanger. She handed them to me, "Have a good night." She winked and she was gone, leaving me alone once again with my man.

"How's that for service?" Bryson laughed. I went into the other room to check out what the personal shopper had gotten us and to undress. It had been a long interesting day, and I couldn't wait to take a bath and change. I left Bryson the items for him and took mine into the large bathroom.

I slid into the bathtub and put on the water jets. I heard Bryson talking to me outside of the door and I suddenly missed him. I cleaned quickly and got out to start getting dressed. My hair was up in a ponytail, still looking amazing. I was staring at a woman in the mirror. My little earrings glistened. My breasts were beautiful, they were damp and just ready to be fondled. All my makeup was cleaned off but my eyebrows and eyelashes still looked perfect. I decided on just a touch of mascara, lipstick, and blush. I had to try to do my routine even though I was entertaining a man.

As I got dressed and made up, Bryson took a shower.

Walking into the large fancy hotel room I stood in front of the large window. Once again Broadway was so beautiful. I was blaming the whole night on the lights of Broadway. They were so seductive.

I moved over to the mirror and I let my hair down. I started brushing the long red locks flowing over my shoulders, just like in that mall ladies' room all those years ago. I then realized I had to be a woman, that's what he expected. That's what Bryson expected from the moment he spied on me in the backyard. I looked up and suddenly caught his eyes in the mirror, I'm sure he was surprised by the type of outfit I had on. I never would have picked out something like this for myself. I knew he was going to love it. It was a bright purple slip, slightly boned, and had garters attached to it. My stockings were sheer, taupe, and gorgeous and I slipped into my black pumps. My breasts looked incredible in the cups of the lingerie and held with little straps. I felt my gold necklace from Lohman's and held it, I was changing into a completely different 'woman.' I would soon be saying goodbye to that twenty-one-year-old crossdresser that got into so much trouble years ago.

He was behind me as we gazed at each other in the mirror. He started to kiss my neck and he played with my hair. When his hand went to grab my breast he whispered in my ear. "So after the robbery you never went out again?"

"I didn't. Not until Terri took me to the spa. It feels like years ago, I can't believe it was yesterday."

"I want to take you somewhere. I want to thank you for being here with me."

I felt I should be thanking him.

He held me tighter, we started to move to imaginary music. He then whispered again, I felt his lips brush against my ear. "Do you like piña coladas, and gettin' caught in the rain?" He quietly sang. I looked at him in the mirror, I felt I had a weird grin on my face. "I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

I shook his hand as he tightened his grip on my breast. "Are you trying to seduce me with The Piña Colada Song?"

"Um... maybe." He kissed my shoulders and back. "I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

I giggled, I thought it was cute especially since he seemed so sincere about it. I turned around, his lips were level with my eyes. I loved that he wanted me. He had wanted me from the instant he first saw me and it turned me on thinking about it. I suddenly felt like I was a seductress and I wanted him to fuck me. I couldn't believe I wanted to feel him inside me.

"I will let you make love to me if you can tell me who sang that song. You have three guesses." I narrowed my eyes.

He stopped and looked at me. "I can make love to you? Really?" He was pleasantly surprised with that option.

"You can. Three guesses, you have a minute, mister." I moved more into the room. I put one hand on my hip and the other played with my red hair. I could see his mind working, he had no clue who sang it.

"Um, Cat Stevens?"

"You think Cat Stevens was going to sing about being into champagne?"

"Uhh, no, no, umm hold on let me think. Neil Diamond?"

"Closer." He was disappointed, I was loving this game. I was loving that my virginity was the prize.

"Wait, do you know?"

I turned around and bent over, showing him my ass. "I do, that is some of the useless information that resides inside my brain." I rubbed and patted my backside. When I turned around I noticed he was wearing a maroon velvet robe almost the same color as my dress from the wedding, and his cock started peering out of it.

"I can't concentrate," His hand went over his eyes as he thought hard. "Um, oh wait, Steely Dan?" He seemed so proud of himself. His smile was huge, I couldn't let him down.

"Close enough, they both sang about piña colada's, ha." I giggled again and put my arms around him. He grabbed my waist and we leaned in for a kiss. This one was different than all the others. This is the one that was leading me down the path to falling in love. Lainie always called me a romantic. I was a sucker for candlelight, seduction, music, and especially romance. I fell in love with her over a weekend.

"Sing to me," I asked him.

He laughed and held me tighter, I felt his cock push into my belly.
"Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain."

There was another knock at the door, he would never get to finish that song. He went to answer it and came back with a cart with fruit, champagne, and glasses. His cock was still hard and sticking out of his robe. "Whew, thank god I was at least close. Because, I'm not much into health food, but I am into champagne."

"I'm guessing that's all the lyrics you know."

"Mmm, maybe. But it doesn't matter, you already agreed to let me have you."

"Did I? Are you sure? I was thinking about health food and got distracted. Ha."

***

We were on the balcony drinking the champagne, he was once again behind me. He pointed beyond the city. "That's where our houses lie. I still can't believe I live next door to someone as beautiful as you. I was always jealous of Derrick. He found such a perfect partner."

"You should have introduced yourself to me before. We could have been together this whole time. You could have sung to me over the fence."

He laughed and he took my glass. "Do you want to hear another verse of that Piña Colada song?"

I giggled as his hands started playing with my ass, and he kissed my neck and shoulders again. I couldn't believe how much of a hot zone my neck and ass were. He was rubbing my behind so thoroughly I was getting excited. We were making out with the city as our backdrop. I had to reach up and hold onto him to kiss him properly. I loved that he was so tall, I loved that he was all man.

"Bryson?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not a tranny, I think I'm gender fluid is that okay?"

"I think it should be fine." He laughed and I felt his cock push against my stomach again. "I could check with my lawyer if it would make you happy." I gave him a look and then laughed, I was enjoying myself.

I was thinking that Lainie's silicone cock would be aiming perfectly below my crotch, Bryson was too tall and I had to take him into my hand to try to aim his hardness lower.

"Bryson can you put your cock," I backed up and pointed to my 'pussy' "here." I smiled, I was all of a sudden such a flirt. He smiled as he bent and his cock nestled under me, under my lingerie. I stood on my toes as he moved back and forth. I was getting so wet, this is what I loved. I caught a glimpse of the couple in the reflection of the windows. I hoped someone was watching us, and they would assume we were just a man and a woman. Bryson started to kiss my breasts but I could tell he was uncomfortably bent. He then lifted me and carried me into the middle of the hotel room. I was in his arms and we kissed again while he held me.

"You are really going to let me make love to you?"

"I really am." I had Lainie's dildo inside me, but Bryson was so much bigger, I was just hoping I could handle his entire large cock in my ass.

He laid me on the bed, his cock was so big, I nervously made a grab for it. I moved to the edge and took him into my mouth. His cock had been inside my lips all week. I had never had so much sex before, so much wonderful sex. I sucked as he lost his robe. I was now with a naked man. My hair floating around my face, I was lost in my own eroticism. I was tucked into little purple panties but so excited. I stopped sucking and moved back onto the bed. I propped myself onto my elbows while Bryson watched.

"Bryson? Am I sexy enough for you?"

"Unfortunately you are too sexy, next time you might want to tone it down." He laughed as he crawled up to me and put his lips to my stockinged legs, and he made his way up slowly to my purple panties. I laid down and bent my legs, I wanted him to have full access. I felt him nuzzle the silky lingerie and kiss my thighs. He moved the crotch of my panties over and started kissing me. I felt his tongue enter my little tight hole as he slightly lifted me. His tongue felt so long and soon he put in a finger, then two, then three.

"Oh my god, baby," I moaned. I was so ready to be taken.

"Do you always smell like flowers in your panties?"

"Of course. Freshly cut."

I felt his fingers reaching inside me as his lips explored the surrounding areas. I never had a lover taste me there before and I felt myself opening up and ready to accept his penis.

He then got up and sat on the edge of the bed, he made me squat over his lap. Slowly I descended on his hard prick, hovering on my heels. I felt him enter me, just the head of his cock. So many months ago Lainie stopped putting her silicone cock inside me, she heard me beg for it, she didn't think that was the appropriate response. This was a million times better. It was warm and attached to a real man.

"I'll go slow baby," He whispered as his cock went deeper inside of me. He held my thin waist as I moved up and down at my own pace, taking a little bit of his cock inside me at a time. Soon I was sitting on his lap. My eyes opened wide realizing that I could take his whole cock inside of me. I was quite excited by that revelation. After we fucked for a while he pulled me off and I laid on my side on the bed. Once again his cock went inside of me, he slid right in, I felt like such a whore. I couldn't wait for him to make love to me in my own bed.

"Can I watch as you fuck me?" I asked.

He smiled as I got on my back. I opened my legs and Bryson leaned on the top of me as we kissed. I felt his cock rub against my crotch and belly. I was wondering how he was ever going to be able to slip back inside of me. He then got up and took hold of my thighs. He had a huge grin on his face as he aimed his cock at my waiting hole. I felt the head again and then he slowly pushed in. I wanted him to kiss me but he was miles away from my lips. I wanted him to hold me, I wanted him to love me.

He pounded his cock as I begged him to go harder. I wanted to watch his face as I made him cum, I wanted to know I was doing this correctly. I reached out my hands, my long nails wiggling and begging him to get closer to me. He pushed in closer as I made contact with his hairy chest. He looked at me and I felt him cum, he pushed even harder and I started to cum myself. My 'clit' was facing down still hidden in my panties and the contact I had from his moving cock was making me crazy. I screamed as I felt his sperm shoot inside of me.

When we were done he laid on top of me, still rubbing his wet cock on me. I was extremely happy, I came as a 'woman.'

"That was fantastic," He told me between kisses. I started to lightly cry, I wasn't prepared for feeling like I did. I suddenly felt silly and sexy and worried. How would I ever tell Lainie I slept with Bryson and I loved it. Sex with her couldn't compare. Sex with her had no intimacy, but here I was underneath a man who was licking my tears and playing with my breasts.

***

We made love once more time during the middle of the night. Bryson's cock found its way inside of me on its own. I don't even think we moved and then suddenly he was in. I had such a strong orgasm that I slept straight through until mid-morning. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go back to real life.

***

End of Part 3 of 4

A Coy Pond and a Couple of Trees Part 4 (The End)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Thank you for making it to the end. One door closes and another one opens, and we find Bryson's plan all coming together. I hope YOU like it...

***

Friday

Bryson was lying on the bed watching me get dressed. The 'Personal Shopper' found me a beautiful dark blue dress with polka dots. It had a little black belt and it went perfectly with my heels. I hadn't worn my own clothes all week. I was thinking everyone had better taste than me.

"Giselle? Do you want to know why Susan left me?"

I was brushing my hair and straightening my dress, I turned around to look at him. "I don't know. Do I?"

"She found videos on my phone." He stopped looking at me, I could tell he felt uncomfortable telling me this, he focused his eyes on my legs. "She was so mad. It was such a silly thing. We were young and I thought we were in love."

"What kind of videos?" I sat and he moved over and put his head in my lap.

"Well," He started rubbing my legs, through the cotton of my dress. "You feel so nice." He was stalling, I was getting nervous again. "She found videos that I had taken of her getting dressed and undressed." He looked at me. "She didn't like that I was spying on her, I didn't know she was paranoid about it."

"Did it turn you on knowing that you were spying on her?"

"Not really, I just wanted to see her body, she was so uncomfortable with it. I have never seen her in her lingerie and I definitely never saw her naked. She was always under the covers in her PJ's when I got into bed with her." I bent down and kissed him.

"She left me when Derrick was twelve. Something was happening to her mentally. She went on medication and went to therapy, I didn't know what to do. I'm glad she's finally happy. I can officially relax."

He pulled me into him and we started to make out on the bed, he seemed like such a good man. "Do you have any videos of me on your phone, ha?" I giggled.

"I do."

"Really?" I was surprised, when would he have time.

"Once Lainie told me who you were I would watch you in the backyard. I watched you walk around in all those sexy high heels you had. There is nothing like a woman in high heels. You were so beautiful, too beautiful for me. And of course too beautiful for that empty backyard of yours, heh heh. You were as pretty as Terri. I promised Lainie I wouldn't meet you until I came over to do the yard."

"Really?" He smiled as I laid down next to him and pulled his hard cock out of his pants. We were late to check out but I wanted to feel him. I wanted to make him cum one more time while he was thinking of me traipsing through my yard. I didn't want to tell him that I felt someone was watching me, part of me loved that. I wanted to be part of somebody's fantasy. Wearing heels outside was part of mine.

***

We met Terri and Derrick in the lobby, I apologized and told them I had to take care of Bryson one more time.

"Oh my gawd, you are turning into me, you whore." We laughed but I did want to be more like her. She seemed so comfortable in her world. She was rubbing off on me.

We got back into a new limo, Bryson wanted to drive straight through Brooklyn on the way to our homes in Rockaway. It was one long Avenue after the Manhattan Bridge. From bridge to bridge. Terri and I leaned into the men's arms the whole way. We were so tired but completely content.

Almost an hour later, I had my eyes closed and I heard Bryson ask the driver to turn left. I was thinking we were almost home.

"We're here." He said as I looked out the tinted window.

"We are?" Derrick said as he looked amongst the concrete walls.

"Come on let's go to Lohmans, let's see where you got your necklace." Bryson grabbed my hand and we were in the cold parking garage.

I didn't want to tell them how much I hated it here. How much crazy drama my mother caused by making such a scene when she picked me up years ago. She walked into the mall office and grabbed me out of the chair. She dragged me through the mall with no shoes, and a sore red ring around my wrist, and then out to the parking garage. She wouldn't let me in the car looking like a girl. She messed up my hair and made me wipe off my makeup with tissues. Everyone in the garage was watching me. I tried to hide behind the car. Once in the back seat, I had to undress and then hid under the blanket, listening to her threaten me the entire time.

I told them. "We don't have to do this, it's okay, let's just head home."

Bryson took my hand, "Please, I called, that store is still here. Aren't you a little curious?" I closed my eyes, I could tell he had good intentions, but I wasn't that sure it would help anything. I was way over that part of my life. We started walking inside, Bryson led us directly to the jewelry store. I saw my reflection in the window. I looked perfect in my blue dress and sunglasses. They wouldn't remember me at all, they would only remember the disheveled scared little 'girl.'

A man walked out when he noticed us outside. "Mr. Hughes?"

"Yes," Bryson told him and shook his hand.

"And this must be Giselle, please come in." He was excited but I was shocked that he might have really recognized me. It was six long years ago. "Come," He told us and we followed him into the middle of the store.

We were surrounded by glass display cases. Huge chandeliers hung from the ceiling and light music was being pumped through the speakers. Mr. Lohman had a huge smile on his face when he introduced us to his wife and three other workers. Soon some customers gathered around us, we were all of a sudden part of a crowd. Mr. Lohman took my hand and led me to a beige pillar in the middle of the store. It was full of picture frames, three sides of them.

"This is your section." He told me, his wife had her arm around me and pushed me closer. "I remember slipping the necklace on you. You were so nervous, you were shaking."

He pointed to an old newspaper article. Twenty-one-year-old me looked so bemused to be given something, anything. There were three on just the front side of the pillar.

He told me that the thief took over seven hundred thousand dollars worth of jewelry. "We almost got all of it back. They were finding items near the garage for months afterward. If you weren't at the wrong place at the right time they never would have caught him."

I turned around and Terri had tears in her eyes, she walked up to me and hugged me. "You were almost a local celebrity."

"Almost," I giggled.

"I'm going to have to get your autograph."

We walked around and looked at the other clippings. There were even pictures from the closed-circuit cameras and one of me checking the door of the garage. One of the workers took pictures of me with the Lohmans and then we took a group shot.

"One of those pictures is going right here." Mrs. Lohman was pointing to a spot right on top of the others. "Our little heroine has returned, haha."

"Miss Giselle please sit." I was soon surrounded by everyone and Mr. Lohman looked closely at my necklace with a Loupe Magnifier. "You have kept very good care of it."

Little did he realize, it was kept in a jewelry box for years. I would put it on for pictures and put it right back into the box. It wasn't until meeting Lainie that I decided to wear it, I even forgot I had it on.

He then took out a 'Ring Sizer Measuring Tool' and placed it on a couple of my fingers. "You have beautiful nails, my dear." He then measured my wrist and then thanked me for coming back after all these years. "We have tried to call you numerous times but someone keeps hanging up, haha."

"Well, it wasn't me."

As we were about to leave he gave Terri and me a box. Inside was a thick gold bangle bracelet. "This is a thank you for coming to visit us."

"Come back whenever you are nearby." His wife told us, and she kissed the four of us goodbye. "Now when I tell people that story it will have a wonderful coda. Bye."

I felt perfectly at ease as we made our way back to the limo and I was praying Bryson didn't want to take me to visit my mother. Not that I knew where she lived anyway.

Before we took the bridge back to Rockaway we ate at a fish restaurant and went a little sightseeing by Dead Horse Bay. I told them more stories of when I was younger and hung around the Army buildings, went water skiing near the golf course, and drank cheap wine around Floyd Bennet Field. I felt surprisingly better than ever. Maybe I did have a couple of demons to exorcize. Maybe I was ready for a little change in my life.

***

It was late when we entered the block, I kissed everyone goodnight and Bryson walked me to the door.

"Well? Did you have a great time this week or what?"

"I did. Thank you." We hugged in the darkness and then he kissed me goodnight. Once more his tongue entered my mouth. I had my arms tightly around him.

"Bryson? How many times do we need to kiss before you become my boyfriend?" I was trying to be cute, but I kind of wanted to know. I wanted to fall asleep tonight knowing I had the best boyfriend.

"According to my calculations, mmm, one more." And it was our longest one yet. I had my long nails in his short hair, and he was fingering my bra strap. We finally came up for air and he left to go home. I watched him walk next door, and then we waved and entered our houses together. It was a little romantic, silly, but still romantic.

***

Friday Night Still

I couldn't believe I was home by myself, I hadn't been alone all week. The men were done in the yard and it was more quiet than usual on a Friday night. It was another two weeks until the beaches were open. Lainie would be home sometime this weekend, I hadn't thought of her once, I don't even think I had time to miss her.

After I took a long bath I slipped into a short silky white nightie. I put my hair up into a ponytail and slipped on beige thigh-highs and white pumps. I was never able to become a girl so easily in my life. I was so feminine just walking out of the bath. Something happened to me after being with Bryson, I didn't even consider myself male anymore. I could still feel his hands on my body and I was still sore from his hardness. I hated to think of the conversation I would have to have with Lainie when she comes back. For her, dressing up was only for sex, I hated to bring up the idea that I wanted to do it more. Especially now, I wanted to do it forever. I decided I was going to introduce the rest of my block to Giselle.

I put on YouTube and found 'Escape (The Piña Colada Song),' grabbed a blanket, and slipped onto my couch. I had the little leather box Mr. Lohmen gave me. I put on my new bracelet, I didn't want to do it in the limo in front of everyone. I didn't want everyone to know how fulfilled I was to receive something this nice. It was my second piece of jewelry. I slipped it on and admired the way it looked on my thin wrist. The bracelet, the breasts, the hair, even my face were so feminine, I didn't have to try hard at all to be a girl right now. I was going to lay down and slip into a blissful sleep.

'Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the...'

My Apple dinged. "Hi, Giselle."

"Hi,"

"You are so close, can I come over and see you? I won't stay long." Bryson was whispering, I had my eyes closed. He still wanted to see me. How was I ever going to lose this smile on my face?

"Okay, just walk in, the kitchen door is open."

I hung up and pulled the blanket tighter around me, I drifted off, the TV softly playing a different song.

When I woke there was a man on the floor leaning against the couch, his hair was inches from my face. I could smell his soap and I reached out to touch him. My dream was becoming real. He turned around and kissed my cheek. He fixed my blanket and sat back down. I put my arm around his shoulder, then played with his hair while he leaned back against the couch again. I fell asleep.

***

Saturday

I woke up, it took a while for my eyes to adjust. I didn't know where I was, I didn't even know who I was. I heard breathing, Bryson was on the floor covered with a small blanket. I slipped off the couch and cuddled into his arms. This is how I wanted to wake up in the morning, with the warmness of someone next to me. Bryson adjusted and I slipped seamlessly into his arms.

We woke a couple of hours later. He was watching me and running his fingers through my hair.

"Morning."

I smiled, "Good morning, oh I had such a great sleep. We can take it easy all day."

"Not today, today is going to be busy, beautiful." And then he kissed me and I climbed on top of him.

"You are going nowhere yet," I told him as he laughed. His hard body under me, I was so light. First I gave his cock a tentative suck, I wanted him wet. I felt I was getting better at cocksucking, maybe one day I would be as good as Terri. I looked up at him while he was hard and reaching the back of my throat. I kept on sucking. I then moved back up, losing his cock from my lips and now my ass rubbing his hard wet manhood. He didn't even try but his cock made its way into me again. I couldn't believe how easy it was to fuck after the first time. His cock must have had sonar.

I started pushing back on him, "What are we doing today?"

"Well first, I want to show you the backyard." I felt him push into me more, I couldn't speak. I lifted myself and he grabbed my waist. I felt myself bounce on his hard cock again. Each push down he went just a little bit deeper, and he felt so huge.

"I can't wait," I told him. He started to buck a little faster, a smile on his face. We fucked for a while, I felt him build to an incredible orgasm. He kept saying my name and moaning. All of a sudden he started coming inside of me. His jism was making its way up and I felt some drip down. I was loving bouncing on his cock. I wasn't ready to come, I was still too tired. "Keep pushin' baby, I'm almost done."

He smiled even bigger and pulled me in for a kiss. I pulled away to look at him. "Don't move too far away from me." I wanted to feel his breath on my face. I wanted him to be in kissing distance. "Are you happy your girlfriend made you come?" And then my orgasm hit. I was moving down on his dick and I came all over my white panties. I wasn't tucked in anymore but it was hidden by my nightie. I came for so long. When I was done I let him slip out and I lay on his chest.

"Are you glad your boyfriend made you cum?" He asked.

"Mmm, I'll thank him when I see him." We laughed, I didn't want to move at all.

***

Slowly I got up and made coffee, Bryson wanted to show me the backyard after I came out of the shower.

Walking out, I took my supplements and rubbed the cream on my butt, I couldn't wait for it to be as big and round as Terri's. I slipped a navy blue tank top and a green and blue striped mini skirt. I had on nude pantyhose and three-inch tan pumps.

Bryson was drinking coffee in a robe when I walked in. "Wow, good morning, your hair looks amazing."

"Really?"

"Really." He put his face into my neck and nuzzled me. "Okay, it's almost showtime."

We walked out the kitchen door, of course, it was still open. We were no sooner outside and I noticed people walking into the yard with chairs. An entire row of them. I turned and looked at Bryson, what could he possibly be up to?

"We are kinda havin' a little party around the koi pond and new trees." He smiled a little sheepish.

"A little party?"

"Mmm, here are your new trees." And he pointed to a row of them, maybe twenty along the border of the lot. They were totally hiding the fence. "Over here we made a new garden, vegetables, and spices. And on this side flowers, nice right?"

I had to admit it looked incredible I was speechless, but also distracted by all the people milling about. We moved to the middle of the yard onto a flat surface probably made of wood.

"And under here, somewhere" Bryson stamped with his foot, "A new pool, from here to there."

"A new pool? Did Lainie ask for that?"

"No but it was always in Derrick's plans, he designed everything. We are going to set up the chairs and tables on it for today."

We then made our way to the back with more hedges and trees, they surrounded the koi pond and running fountain. A little wooden sign was in the water, the fish were swimming around it, a light was on top for viewing at night. It said 'A Coy Pond and a Coupla Trees.'

"Um, Bryson?"

"Mmm."

"Someone spelled the sign wrong." I was smiling, I could tell he loved it, he loved listening to the bubbling water, the neighbors in the background. He loved that I was confused.

"No, that's what Lainie asked for, that's what she got. Do you think she will be surprised?" I looked at him, I shrugged, I haven't thought about her or her requests from almost a week ago. "You can tell everyone the 'Coupla' trees are from Italy," And he laughed, he took my arm, he showed me the rest of the yard.

The yard was so much more beautiful during the day, the whole area was amazing. They even put up some lights, a couple of speakers and they painted the cabana blue. It was a completely different yard. This was a yard for someone with more friends than me.

We walked all the way to the back. Between two trees and surrounded by flowers was a little stage. "And right here is where Terri and Derrick are going to get married."

I looked up at him, "Married?" Then more people arrived, we were in everyone's way. A catering cart, a couple of bartenders, and waitresses, we left them to go inside. I asked him again, "Married?

"Yes, you are correct." He kissed me, then checked his phone. "I'm gonna get dressed. Terri is on her way over."

***

Saturday Afternoon

We were in my bedroom, Ara was dressing Terri in her long white gown. She looked beautiful, I was happy for her. Ara was teasing Terri's hair giving it more height when she spied me watching her in the mirror. "Giselle? I know it's a little late but will you be my maid of honor?"

"Really?" Really was the word I used most in my life, I was constantly surprised. I was very surprised right now.

"Yes really. Who else would I ask?"

"Um, yes, definitely yes. Is my dress okay for maidofhonoring?"

Ara laughed, "Is that a real word?"

"Ha," Terri laughed with her, "You look beautiful, yellow is definitely your color, it matches the flowers." I was wearing a short yellow chiffon dress and yellow platform pumps. I felt underdressed but I didn't have too many options for public consumption. My wardrobe was going to expand with Terri in my life.

When her hair and makeup were done, her mother, Teresa came in to help. She kissed me hello and told me I had a beautiful house.

"You know," Terri turned to me, "It was always the plan to have the wedding here, your yard is so perfect."

I touched her shoulder, "It's even more perfect now with you, Ara, and your mom here." I smiled. I was quite happy, tired, but happy.

The three of us went outside. The chairs were already set up on a platform covering the pool and music was on. The Bee Gees were playing as the guests took their seats. Ara sat up front next to Terri's mom, and Susan and Ted. Even Ray and some of the workers were here. I knew so many people at this wedding, I met so many this week. Everyone on the block was here too, even Mr. Lohman and his wife made it.

A slight breeze made its way around us as my boyfriend kissed me, he kissed me in front of everyone as I made my way beside him, after walking down the aisle. Bryson and I were on the stage with Derrick. The DJ started the wedding march and Terri walked down the makeshift aisle with her stepfather. It was nice, I wanted to cry I was enjoying myself so much.

I stood back and watched Terri and Derrick get married, it was so romantic when they both said 'I do.' Everyone cheered. Then there was suddenly a commotion behind them. I heard someone yelling. I turned around, Lainie was back. Her week on her own was over.

"What the fuck is going on?" Lainie and Joan were watching, their hands on their hips. I could tell she was looking for me. "Where the fuck is Samuel?" That was my male name, but Samuel wasn't here anymore.

Everything sort of stopped. The crowd watched as I hopped off the platform in my yellow heels, I had to get her to calm down. I didn't want her to ruin Terri's wedding. Why was she so mad? When I reached the two of them Bryson was right beside me.

"Lainie, please let's go inside." She looked at me, Bryson's hand was on my hips.

"What the fuck... Look at you, what did you do?" I didn't know if she was talking to me or Bryson.

"Let's go inside, please," I begged. Everyone was watching us. She was annoyed as she followed me to the side of the house and I heard the Bee Gees go back on through the speakers.

She was even more livid, thank god Joan was quiet. "What the fuck is up back here, didn't you read my note? All I asked for was a coy pond and a coupla trees." She looked around and gave a nasty face to Bryson. Then she focused on me. "And now YOU'RE getting married? Right in the yard! You gotta be shitting me!" She pushed me.

"What? Why are you yelling?"

"Why does he have his hands all over you?" She put hers on her hips again and stared at Bryson. "You were just supposed to keep her busy this week, this is fucking ridiculous. Now you're getting married... "

"Lainie, I'm in yellow..."

Bryson interrupted us and turned me around. "You know we could get married too, it would be nice." He then pulled a ring out of his jacket. "Mr. Lohman brought this with him today."

"Fuck!" Lainie watched as he slipped it on my finger, and then she stormed off, "Fucking assholes..." She stomped on all the flowers in her path, and then she and Joan were gone.

I looked up at Bryson. "Really?"

"Yes Really, heh heh."

***

Another Beautiful Saturday Afternoon

I loved my new backyard. The four of us sat at the new white tiled table listening to music, it was still the 1970's back here.

'If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape'

We were all in bikinis and bathing suits while the fountain bubbled and the neighborhood was alive with people going to the beach.

"Would you like a Piña Colada?" I asked the young couple standing over us. They both took a glass as Bryson and I happily showed them the property. "We live right next door." I pointed past the line of trees with my long orange nails. I told them we hosted two weddings here. They were impressed and took pictures.

We sat down and waited for others to come to the open house.

"Have you heard from Lainie?" Terri asked me, her top was small so she went without boobs, unlike me.

"Not at all. I was hopin' she met someone on the cruise."

Bryson poured some more of the frozen drinks. "You know Lainie figured you would be alone that whole week she went away, she wanted me to keep you company so she didn't feel guilty about sowing her wild oats. That's her words. I don't really know how to sow those things."

"Ha, I guess she didn't expect me to fall in love."

"Well, she did tell me you fall in love very easily." We laughed.

"Really? Well, she was right about that."

***

We sold the place on the first day of the open house. It was too bad, we were having so much fun. Bryson was correct in thinking that with the pool and new gardens the property would be worth more than twice as much. I would use some of the money for when we go away on our honeymoons together, we didn't want to leave the busy beaches just yet. Maybe we will take a cruise to Florida. Maybe.

'Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain...'

***

The End

***

The Story Behind...
A Different Pair of Queens

***

Um, not that anyone asked... but... just in case...

I was in Gowanus, I was in Downtown Brooklyn, years ago. I'm gonna say 2008, 09. I was going to a new venue called the Bell House. I was going to a concert by the Posies, they were going to perform their 1993 album, Frosting on the Beater. I left work regular time, six or so. Gowanus was about forty minutes by the R train from Midtown Manhattan, not too far, doable, I would just have to get home somehow after the show. Home was just more Brooklyn, more south.

4th Avenue, near President, Union, wasn't the happenin' place it was now. I walked off the train before seven, was cold, was meeting my friend at eight-thirty I had time to kill. I passed something called the Lyceum, I walked up 4th Avenue, dark, full of apartment buildings, closed auto shops and warehouses. I walked towards 5th, busier, brighter. A couple of bodegas, empty-looking storefronts.

I needed some place to hide for a while.

I finally came to a place, looked okay. I didn't want to go in but it was January, it was freezing. The main reason was... I was alone, I don't do alone good. I have a social thing, not a big thing, but a thing. 'Gingers Bar' had a big sign out front, I went in, it was quite dark inside. I could tell no one was happy to see me, I was part of the Bridge and Tunnel crowd, too-old, too-male, too boring to be out in the middle of an up-and-coming former Spanish neighborhood.

I was a little uncomfortable but at least the bar was empty, I could hide in the corner. There were two women in tanks at the far end, another bigger woman on a rotary phone maybe drawing, doing something with her hands. She was probably drinking a Pepsi.

"Um, can I get a Sam Adams?"

The bartender wasn't happy to see me, I'm guessing she wasn't happy to see anyone so I didn't feel special. She had tiny glasses, tiny eyes, her arms were crossed and I couldn't read her t-shirt.

"Not here."

"Oh, okay, I'll drink anything but Heineken," I smiled she turned away. She came back with a cold glass of, hold on let me remember the taste, oh yeah Heineken. I could tell she was teaching me a lesson. It was before the craft beer boom, life drinking beer wasn't as much fun as it is now.

I drank slowly, I didn't want to interact with the pissed-off bartender again. I had nothing to read, I think I had a flip phone, I parused the take-out menus strewn on top of the bar for company. More people came in, another couple of women sat in the back at a table, two more sat across from me. No one was leaving, must be an okay place, no one was drinking either. Three younger men then came in and sat next to me. I nodded, they sat a stool away.

The one closer to me was black around twenty-five or so, he knocked on the bar in front of me. "Well look at you sightseeing, ha. Well at least by yourself." He laughed some more, while I made a confused face. I didn't care, I didn't have to pee, but I still had to kill another forty minutes. I figured maybe I better order another beer, I would have bought the three guys next to me drinks just to show I was sociable, I would have given the bartender a big tip, but instead, I think the light above me went off. They were trying to get rid of me, I think, I might have been paranoid. This happens to me when I do anything by myself in a public place, I start to feel singled out, my heartbeat starts to race.

I needed to focus on something, thank god the three guys started talking, of course, I listened. I was really nosy. Finally, something was going on at this dark bar with the bad beer selection.

"So she says to me, she says it with a straight face. She says Sand' it's good that you never hid this dressing and makeup thing you do." Sand' the guy at the other end, wearing a yellow shirt, said this to his friends. "It's good you showed us these routines and stuff when you were a kid."

"Who Melia?"

"No, come on my mother, Melia she can barely hear. But listen, she says to me, me and your dad are so glad you are not one of those crossdressers or transvestites who don't tell anybody, they are the worst."

"What?"

"This is what she is tellin' me. We are all in the dining room eatin' burgers, and this is what she brings up in front of the neighbors, in front of Melia."

"So what, she's happy you do Drag, what's the big deal."

"Well I might do Drag but I'm still cross-dressing. No? She tells me she hates crossdressers, she says they are bad for the family, she saw it on some talk show or sumthin'. Says she recorded it, we can all fuckin' watch it together."

"Yeah, that will be a great night in."

"Yeah, it's probably all that sneakin' around, ha, bad for the family, ha." Finally, the guy next to me was getting involved, he was being too quiet.

I was glad I listened, I was kinda fascinated, I wanted to throw in my opinion. I had been crossdressing since I was nine, but I bet they wouldn't even believe me.

"Hey, would you like another beer?" I turned, I was distracted, there was a new bartender. This one looked like she liked bartending.

"Oh no thank you I have to go, I'm goin' to a concert," I pointed behind me, "But, thanks." And I gave her a tip because she talked to me.

I listened to the three guys contemplate the existence of TVs and CDs and TS's, then they moved on to queens and gays and lesbians, Italian delis, auto shops, and consignment stores. I wasn't as fascinated anymore. I didn't have a personal investment in the rest of the conversation. I perked up a bit when I heard Melia's name though.

I had to leave, it was getting late. I only said goodbye to the one guy next to me and the new bartender. I thought about what Sand' said. I thought maybe his name was Sandy, Sanford, I thought about his mother. Wait maybe, Sangia? I thought about the conversation at the bar the entire walk to the venue, maybe half a mile away, it was all the way on 7th Street. I thought about it while I watched the Posies play their album. I thought about it while I took public transportation back to my neighborhood. I was thinking it was such a weird conviction to have.

Was it because the mother knew that her son was dressing up, it was better in some way? Maybe she was thinking if she stumbled on it by accident it would be worse. I couldn't understand why one thing was bad and the other was better. One was negative and the other was positive. If Sand' wasn't a working drag queen I'm sure the mother wouldn't even know that he wore dresses and heels.

Maybe.

I thought about this for years, it always bothered me. That meant that if you were more sociable, more proud, and so much more assured of your sexuality then that was better. Hiding in the closet like I have done since I was young was bad, worse, well only if you were caught, which of course I had. I had been caught several times, I thought I was a Ninja or part of the CIA, but I wasn't, I was clumsy, nervous, and not too bright. Maybe the mom was right, whatever show she watched had informative writers and observant producers.

Maybe.

I decided to write a story about it twelve years later. Well to be fair I didn't start writing until eleven years later, so it wasn't like I was sitting on this idea, but it was festering in the back of my mind. Some things are there for decades just waiting to be moved around, brought to the front, waiting to keep me up at night. Once I wrote the story, edited it a lot, and read it back a bunch of times, I didn't need to think about it anymore.

I just didn't care.

Let it get into someone else's brain, let it fester somewhere else, or let it be forgotten I didn't care anymore. All I cared about now is if I liked my story or not, did I like the characters, did it make sense. Why did I not use the angry bartender, she would have made a great character, I could have given her a personality.

Or maybe not.

So everything I wrote above this line was what I remember, I embellished the dialog a little, just a little, there was a Sand' and a Melia and definitely a mom. Oh and the concert was great, probably the best one I have ever seen, they had really good beer, an IPA I think, and I was just a little distracted. Just a little. But I wasn't by myself.

Thank you all for indulging me.

***

The End

***

A Sister 'til Christmas 2
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hi, just suddenly realized how close this Christmas thing is a coming... Phew, I better get moving... I hope YOU like it...

***

'Listen to me baby
Listen to my plea
I'm in the middle of nowhere
And it's worrying me'

The next day was when the visits ended. For the cold lonely week after that, I waited for the bell to ring, I looked out the windows, playing with my hair, spying on my reflection. Sara knew what I was doing but she never said anything, she was ready to move on to something else, she wanted to go out to the town together, but I was ready to cry.

I was wishing I paid more attention, wishing I started to chat, held his hand, begged him to stay. I wanted to feel his jacket, smell his aftershave, rub his rough chin, but I didn't, I was too nervous, too shy. I let the silent tears fall down my cheeks but I wouldn't turn around and look at Sara, I wouldn't leave my reflection, I think my heart was broken.

I heard her get closer, felt her breath on my neck. "I'm goin' crazy we have to start going somewhere at night, c'mon don't you want to show off that dress, those heels? Don't you want to show off our boobs?"

I turned around, she was actually wearing a low-cut sweater, she was actually showing the tops of her small breasts. "I do, but um, you go, I'll stay home, I'll do the laundry tonight and you can visit Rachel again."

Rachel was a woman she met sometime over the summer in Historic, Smithville, four miles away from here. Sara was getting bored living in the middle of nowhere, but not me, I was still loving it, even though I was missing my mystery man. I would spend all morning exercising, organizing my new dresses, heels, makeup. I would get deliveries almost every other day. More outfits, brushes, nail polish remover. I finally had everything I needed, everything I wanted, life was almost perfect, and my room was finally a sixteen-year-old beauty queen's wet dream.

She let out a loud breath. "When you are Sam you are so easy, everything is about me, but as Sabrina, it is all about you. Shit, just come with me, I want to take you to Rachel's restaurant, I want to introduce you to everybody."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I'm ready to go out. I don't want to meet everybody."

"Ugh!" She was angry, the holidays weren't as much fun as she hoped. I felt I was becoming more like her, I was becoming introverted, I wanted to be alone. Now she was becoming more like me, well my other self. I was always looking for a loud party, a crowd, a new restaurant. I guess being surrounded by trees, in the middle of nowhere meant changes... for both of us.

She took the car keys, she slammed the front door, she was gone and I was back in my room, drinking something to keep me warm. I wanted to try something new with my eyes, my lips. I wanted to order more nightgowns and slips, I wanted to enjoy my femme life until Christmas. I wanted to forget Sara was disappointed with me, again.

Once she got to Ruffino's she must have felt better, I was sent pictures; The front of the restaurant with the Christmas lights, the inside with decorations and her new friends. I also got shots of her pasta, their drinks, their desserts. Now I felt bad for not going out, but I didn't think I could, I would be too uncomfortable. I knew I would have loved to of shown off how feminine I had become, how perfect my dress and body were, but I wasn't ready. I knew she would tell everyone about me, she would make me anxious, she would tell everyone about my Double-D breasts. I'm sure she was telling everyone about them right now.

Ding Dong.

*

It had been five long days, five days without a man, a rose. Now he was here, he was holding a red one this time, he was smiling at me while I played with the hem of another thin brownish lace dress, as I looked down at his knees.

"I was hoping you were going to come to my restaurant tonight, I couldn't wait to see you." He handed me the rose.

I lifted it to my lips again, I loved the feel of it on my sticky gloss, I loved the scent making its way to my senses. "Thank you." I didn't have the confidence to ask any more questions.

"I was talking to Sara and Rachel, they suggested that we have an early dinner together before the restaurant opens. It will just be us."

I was feeling myself get nervous again, the excitement inside of me slipped away. "Sara and Rachel?"

He smiled. "You have a beautiful voice."

"Do I?"

"Ha, you do." He started walking around me, looking at me, my legs, my dress. He put his hand on my arm. "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? It will be nice and quiet, I can pick you up at three?"

"They really suggested it?"

"Kind of, they wanted to have Rachel's husband join us, the five of us, maybe six, but I thought it would be better with the just us two. You can get used to going out." He smiled, he watched me smile back. "It will be nice having dinner with a beautiful woman."

I froze. He was now going to pick me up at three, I was too excited to chat or show him my collection of roses.

When he left, I wished I felt his rough cheek.

***

'I'm going to wear black." I was leaving my room, Sara was futzing, cleaning, and putting up more reindeer decorations in the kitchen, she wasn't paying attention to me, she was paying attention to Rudolph.

"Yeah, so."

I walked out and showed her my outfit. It was a three-quarter-sleeved sweater dress, tight, very tight, and very short. The hem came halfway between my knees and my panties, I left the vagina ones in my drawer. I was wearing expensive nude pantyhose, I was sliding on the tiles.

"For lunch at Ruffino's."

She stopped cleaning, she looked at me, "Wait you're going out to Ruffino's? Today?"

"Yes today at three, the man with the roses came over last night and invited me, he said it was your's and Rachel's idea."

"Ross came by last night, why didn't you tell me?"

I was now feeling defensive, I felt like she was getting annoyed again. "I was sleeping when you got home, plus I thought you knew."

"We talked about it, but I didn't know it was happening today. He didn't say he was coming over to the house last night when he was leaving." She huffed, went back to her decorations, I went back into my room. I closed the door, I would try not to talk about it until Ross came to pick me up.

I was looking in the mirror, putting on my lashes, "Ross?" I now had a name, a strong name, a name for a man. I finished my eyes, my mascara, my rose-colored shadow. "Hi, Ross, nice to see you again." I was practicing as I brushed and darkened my eyebrows, outline, and filled in my lips. More rose, more color. "Thank you I got them on sale. 70% off. Practically stole them, ha." I said as I slipped on my heels, four-inch pumps, and shiny silver.

"I know you will like my new color."

After he left last night I painted my toes a dark pink, darker than my lips, I sat and got ready to do my fingernails. Painting my nails would relax me, it took me so long but it was so worth it. First I took off the old color with cotton pads and Q-tips. Slowly I took off the top of the bottle with the brush. I always started on my thumb and worked my way around. I had a UV LED nail lamp and I let them dry, I watched, I loved this. Sara said it was silly and unneeded, but I just loved it. I enjoyed the way my hands rested on the vanity, glowed from the purple light, made my small hands look so feminine. The lamp was something only a woman would own.

When I was younger, living with my parents, when I was in high school, I wanted to paint my nails when I dressed, my toes, my fingers. I needed to do everything. I needed to have full makeup on, jewelry, a dress, stockings, and heels. I so needed to paint my nails. At night I would put on one of my mothers' old nightgowns, I would get under the covers, I would take out the red, the purple, the orange, and paint. Twenty nails all colorful all night, it made me so happy. One morning I awoke to a puddle of red glitter, the sheets, the pillow cases even the wood frame was slathered in glitter polish. It was hard to explain, it was harder to tell anyone. I was punished, had to stay home while everyone went out to the park, the mall, the City, wherever, it didn't matter. My mother now knew I was up to something, had a secret, a quirk. Crossdressing became much more difficult.

Now I had my own room with my own UV LED lamp, my own facial cleansing device, life was easier, better than when I was young with my family. When we came to the house in November, my wife had Jada, this olive-skinned, beautiful Spanish woman come over, she owned a shop in town, she put long gel nails on us, waxed us, turned us into sexier women. I was so embarrassed, I barely spoke, but I was quite excited about it and the outcome. She brought me the lamp, she picked so many polish colors, she made sure I had everything I needed. Jada now stopped by every couple of days, always with something for me, something she says I would love, and I did. I would let her do what she wanted, whatever she thought I needed. I wasn't embarrassed anymore, I was thinking maybe going out to lunch and starting quietly would be a good introduction for me, good for my stress level, good for both me and Sara.

I put on my longer wig again, hiding my own long strawberry-blonde hair. I put on big silver clip-on hoops next to my pierced ears, another avenue of femininity from Jada. I put on my Black Opium perfume, I filled my black pocketbook with more lipstick, nail polish, mascara, even an extra pair of stockings. I waited by the mirror, I waited for the bell.

When we first got married, Sara didn't like when I fixed my makeup by myself, she wanted to help, she wanted to supervise. I then had to let her apply it, work on my lashes, it was easier, I couldn't argue with her. She figured she was a 'real' woman she would show me, show me her tricks, her shortcuts. She would introduce me to her products, her colors, even her perfume but I already had my own, I was used to being a 'woman.' I had been wearing female clothing since I was ten, eleven, I had been used to putting on makeup and fixing my hair for years, probably even longer than Sara.

I didn't want to tell her that I hated her help, absolutely hated it. She was condescending, she was pushy, she told me she was always right. She would get annoyed if I told her something she didn't like, she would make me cry, she made me feel so ignorant and sad. This was supposed to be fun, something that we did together, something that I so desperately needed.

She told me I should be thanking her for letting me do this, letting me become feminine, letting me take over her weekends. Other wives wouldn't be so understanding.

I thanked her, I always did, I bought her little presents and I always cooked. I learned to make her favorite coffee drinks, I learned to use the grinder, the frother wand. Soon I took care of the entire house, took care of her. After she was done helping I would let her pick out an outfit that she would buy me, I would let her take pictures. Finally, she would get tired of her feminine husband and move on to something else. I then hid in my room, I would smile in my mirror, but then in bed, I would cry to myself. I was confused, I couldn't tell if she liked this side of me or not, I just couldn't figure her out. Then in the morning, I would check to make sure there was no nail polish on my bed and sheets or even my fingers.

Slowly I did what she showed me, learned as quickly as possible just to get her out of my mirror. Then I went back to my original ways, my original brands. Part of me knew she never forgave me. It annoyed her that I didn't use her soaps or shampoos, she hated that I smelled like a different woman. She also began to realize I didn't need her help, or want to imitate her style, I didn't want to look or act like her at all, I wanted to look and act like me.

I didn't want to be her sister I just wanted to be her friend.

*

"Sabrina, you have a visitor."

I heard the bell, I heard Sara, I didn't want to leave my mirror, she didn't sound as happy as she did before.

"Okay, be right out."

I realized Sara would see what looked like a date. A man was coming to pick me up and take me out, it screamed date. She would watch him take my hand, lead me outside, open the door for me, she would watch a man take me out on a date. I'm sure other husbands in dresses had men come over and take them out to dinner, I'm sure it was a thing, maybe not in Port Republic, but still, somewhere.

I stood, I stopped by the door, I took a deep breath, watching my hidden cleavage, my breasts move on my chest. Maybe it would have been easier if we all went out together, it wouldn't look so much like something romantic. I knew I never would have gone for that anyway, I never would have been able to sit with five other people, making small talk.

"Sabrina! Are you coming out?" And I heard her laugh.

I took another look in the mirror, my makeup looked so good, my hair was perfect and this dress was so tight it showed off my breasts, my thin corsetted waist, my long legs. I looked like a woman who should be dating already. What was the big deal? I was thirty. I'm sure men found me attractive, wanted to spend time with me, they used to when I was younger. On some level, Sara must realize that's where all of this was heading.

I opened the door, I walked in on the two of them talking. She made a face, she knew I was too feminine, too good at this, then suddenly everything around me stopped. Ross smiled at me, it was something I wasn't prepared for. He walked over, he took and kissed my hand, he gave me more roses. A dozen, a handful.

"Thank you."

My voice felt higher, lighter, I smiled as he watched my dark lips, he moved closer as I took the flowers. I could smell his aftershave.

"Ross?" I said his name, it gave me a chill. "Would you like to see my roses?" And he followed, I showed him, I showed him my ultra-feminine bedroom with my vanity, my collection of blush brushes, my UV lamp, and eye makeup palettes. The mirror on my closet door reflects us back, a man and a woman in her maroon and pink bedroom. A man and a woman getting ready to go on a romantic date. He watched as I slightly bent and put the roses in the water, the vase, fixing them, I had some baby's breath, I was making them look perfect. My long hair fell about my face, I laid one side over my ear exposing my hoop, I sniffed, he bent and sniffed with me, he laughed as he moved up. I was watching him, I liked that he did that, I liked he was so comfortable with me already.

"So what's the special today?"

I jumped. Sara was at the threshold of the door, she was leaning, I hoped she didn't see that little interaction.

"A couple of things, since it's so close to Christmas. I will have Sabrina bring you back something."

"Or I could just come." She had her hand on her hip, I wanted to leave, she was teasing me. "Ha, Sabrina almost had a heart attack, she doesn't like to be out looking more girlie than her sister." She laughed some more as I grabbed my bag and we headed for the car. Ross held my waist and he opened my door, he even held my hand helping me into the seat. If Sara was watching she would know that this was definitely a date.

*

The trip to Smithville was so fast, we barely heard a full song on his speakers, I barely said a word. Sara thought we were in the middle of nowhere but I knew we were just off the express ramp to everywhere.

"Here we go." He shut the car, he touched my wrist. "This is going to be nice, I hope you are hungry."

And I smiled, I took off my seat belt. He opened my door and even helped me out. It was feeling even more like a date. I looked up at the Christmas lights, they were all off, it was too light out, it didn't look as festive as the picture I had seen the night before.

I started to remember I was out in daylight, freakin' daylight. I was wearing a dress and smiling at passersby, I couldn't believe I could feel so comfortable so quickly. We said hello to people on the sidewalk, people he knew. Every one of them smiled, they weren't surprised we were on a date, they weren't surprised Ross was with a 'woman.' We walked closer to the white stucco building, he opened a large wooden door and I walked in, it was beautiful, it smelled of oregano and baking bread.

"Ahh, finally!" A woman was moving toward me, I froze, she put her hands on my arm, she asked me to spin. "Sabrina, let me see you. Just, beautiful, so glad you came."

"Hi."

"I'm Rachel, I know you have heard SO much about me." She winked, she giggled, she complimented my dress and nails. "Sara says you have the most perfect hands, and the most sexiest nails, and you do." And she took them from me, she held them to her own, our hands were the same size. My long dark pink nails were looking fantastic in the orange glow of the restaurant. I was thinking I was surprised Sara would compliment me, she rarely even mentioned anything I wore or did any more. I was surprised I would even come up in a positive conversation.

We intertwined our fingers as she pulled me more into the restaurant.

"Thank you, I'm a little obsessed with my nails."

"Feet too?"

"Of course." And I felt my eyes go wide, as I giggled, as I felt Ross' strong hand on the small of my back.

"She is not going to leave you alone until you show her."

So I did, I leaned on the bar and took off my size nine and a-half silver pumps, one at a time and I showed off my delicate toes in the nude pantyhose, I wiggled and the two of them approved.

Then she showed me hers.

*

We toured the rest of the restaurant. It was lovely, it was quite large. It had a big circular wooden bar right in front leading straight to the back, it had two dining rooms, and a small alcove to the side surrounded by fairy lights. There was a table all set, looking ready for a romantic date. Candles, two empty wine glasses, holly. I smiled at the pair of them, I wanted to tell them I was excited about this first date, the first one with a man in a long time. I wanted to tell them I was nervous but so looking forward to it, so looking forward to being myself... on a date.

"There are only two others here, the chef and Jake the kid that helps with the dishes. Would you like to meet them? Or is meeting Rachel too overwhelming like it is for the rest of us?"

"Ha, I'm sorry, my personality is too big for Smithville." She had her hands on my shoulders, I knew why Sara liked her so much, she was her opposite too, I felt completely comfortable.

"No please, I would love to meet everyone." I smiled, I bit my lip. I then realized others will be meeting my feminine self. Sara would be surprised, she would shake her head and be annoyed that I was being easy and not difficult. She didn't understand it wasn't me, it was her. I didn't want her catching me being too femme, too dainty, too anything. I could just relax and be myself. I started to solidify the theory in my mind that it was her presence that made me uncomfortable out in the world.

I met the two others as even more people walked in, more kitchen help. I didn't even mind as they showed me the appliances, the huge freezers, the wine cellar, or the restrooms.

I excused myself. I smiled, I was being cute, I was feeling confident. I went into my first ladies' room in years. I looked a little different in this mirror, younger with the soft lighting, happier surrounded by porcelain and dark tiles. I was ready for a first date, I was ready to tell a man about my life.

I wasn't ready for a phone call. "Hi."

"So, how're things going?"

"Um, good, good, I just finished the tour, it's so cute here." I giggled, I felt I was being too cute myself.

"Hmm, remember this is one of your Christmas presents."

"Oh? Okay, thank you?"

I didn't know why she would say that, it felt weird. Was she finally giving me a man of my own for Christmas? She used to always threaten to bring guys home with her to visit me, to watch movies, and share cappuccinos together. She told me she wanted to see me squirm, see how uncomfortable I got, how embarrassed I was as she brought up male body parts, ones so much bigger than mine.

"Another thing, I meant to tell you this yesterday, but, um, my mother called she wants to visit."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she wants to come on Christmas Day to Jersey, what is that like another week?"

"Mmm." I was wondering why she was telling me this, why I couldn't find out about the visit when I got home.

"Well, that's it. Are you sitting at the table looking at Ross right now, are you being rude?"

"Um, no, I'm in the ladies' room."

And she laughed, she laughed louder than I thought appropriate. "Ha, I can't believe I'm talking to my husband while he is hiding from his date in the little girls' room, you are too much." I let her laugh some more. I wanted to tell her I wasn't hiding, I wanted to tell her she shouldn't have called, I wanted to tell her I was going to kiss him goodnight so don't wait up for me.

I didn't, I said bye and hung up. She made that call to throw me off and it worked. I was wondering if her mother would be surprised to meet me in my red Christmas dress. I was wondering if Sara was going to make me change genders.

*

I forgot about Sara as Ross held my chair. We had red wine, we had dinner, we had dessert, and incredible conversation. I took pictures, I sent them, just like Sara did the night before. At first, I wasn't used to being by myself with a man, wearing my larger breasts, crossing my legs, and rubbing my thighs. At first, I thought I was nervous, I thought I was going to mess up, make mistakes, make a fool of myself. Then we talked some more. He made me laugh, he liked my earrings, I told him I liked his aftershave. We talked about weather and traffic then things that we loved, liked music and traveling. We went back and forth, and then we laughed some more, we were both becoming more comfortable, and silly, we were adults, and we could talk like them. We were both on a first date.

"I apologize for showing up unannounced last night."

"Oh, no that was fine. I was very happy you did." And I bit my lip, moved my shoulders.

"Rachel said Sara was a little miffed with me. The two of them have become buddies. They can be busy together, it leaves more time for us to do this again."

"Will we do this again?"

"Um, yes, well, if you want, it is up to you." And he held his wine glass closer to mine, "Cheers."

"Cheers."

It was getting closer to six, closer to the opening of the restaurant and more people were trickling in. I didn't mind, I liked people coming by saying hello to Ross, and him introducing me. We were hidden in this little alcove, but I smiled as everyone passed. I think I was beckoning them in with my perfume and demeanor.

"Warren, Veronica, this is Sabrina, she just moved to Port Republic, right next to the park." And he would take my hand, his wife would say she loved my silver heels, their kids would wait impatiently to sit and eat. I acted like someone meeting someone else, it was so much easier than I thought it would be.

"So Sara says you are visiting until Christmas."

I love that he was so interested, his eyes were totally focused on mine. Blue with long dark lashes, his, dark brown, dark eyebrows, his look made me feel so warm. "Mmm, that was the plan. She called me before and told me her mother was coming that day, so now I don't know." I shrugged, I was still enjoying myself.

"Her mother? Not your mother too?"

I looked at him, I was confused. Wait... Did he know who I was? Didn't Sara tell him? "Um, no just hers."

"Oh, she told us you two were sisters." He took my hand again. "Well, she told Rachel and me about you, said she called you her sister."

"Oh, no I'm actually her..." I looked around, I felt tiny, I started to blush. I whispered, "I'm her husband, I'm sorry."

"Oh? okay, ha, good to know." And he squeezed my hand, he didn't seem that bothered by this new information. He must have known I was a crossdresser, transgender, or even genderfluid that is how Sara always wanted to introduce me to the world. I guess I was finally meeting it... the world.

"I'm genderfluid. But I have been living as a female full-time since Thanksgiving." I felt I needed to say that, needed to inform him about the full-time situation. And then I told him even more, told him about the new house, the plan for December, and then we finally moved on to something else, we talked about his car, his other restaurants, his wife, his divorce.

"She moved to Western PA, we sold the restaurant we owned together in Philly, I don't even know what she is doing now."

"How long have you been divorced?"

"Two years. I have been living in Smithville, right next door to Rachel and her husband for two whole years, and this is my first date."

*

Rachel made us sit at the bar with her. She was the bartender and she didn't want us to leave, she made Ross promise to keep me here a little while longer while she asked all types of questions. While she served drinks to others, keeping me in the conversational loop.

"Sara doesn't really tell us too much, coffee drinkers don't open up, unlike us." She made us something dark, rimmed with candied cinnamon, we clinked glasses. "Where are you from?"

"Middle Village, Queens. I was blessed with a New York accent, my friends love hearing me say the words water and coffee." I smiled, took a sip, "My coffee tastes like hot water. Ha."

I felt Ross move into me slightly squeezing my body."Mmm, I think we love it too." And they both laughed along with a couple of other people at the bar. "Well, me and Rachel are from Philly and I don't detect an accent at all. You could be from around the corner." I turned to look at him, I spun on the chair with his arm still hovering around me, part of me wanted to kiss him, right here at the bar, right in front of Rachel. In bed, I will imagine that is exactly what I did, in bed I will imagine I was a more assertive, proactive 'woman.'

Thank god, Rachel distracted me. "How long have you been married?"

I squished my lips, thinking, I looked to the ceiling, "Mmm, four years."

"Me, six." She then reached out and ran her fingers through my hair. "You are so beautiful, is that your hair?"

"No, my hair is redder than this, I wish this was my hair."

"Me too," She shook her head, her ponytail, she smiled as she took hold of it. "I have six different ponies at home. Ha. And I don't have to feed any of them. Ha. Only the cats."

"Ha..."

Ross now had his hand on my waist, my arm, even my hands, I felt so comfortable with him. He whispered in my ear, I felt him against the silver hoop. "I'm going to get something together for Sara, I'll have Jake deliver it. I will be right back." I watched him walk away.

When he turned into the kitchen, I missed him. I liked people knowing we were together, it was comforting. I was hoping the others at the bar assumed it was Ross and I that have been married for the last four years, it was exciting. I decided in my head I was going to play the quiet wife out with her popular husband, meeting his friends. I knew I could fall into that role seamlessly.

If I was out with Sara she would be on her phone, talking to someone at work, or talking to her sisters or mother. She would ask for hot coffee, she would be annoyed watching the bartender put the cup in the microwave, she would go back to her phone and sulk that we weren't at a coffee shop or a Bed, Bath & Beyond. But I liked a busy restaurant, a happening bar, usually I just hung with the bartender like I was doing now, but this was different, now I was part of a happy couple.

"Hey, Rach." A man walked in, he handed his coat to her, and sat in Ross's spot. "A dark beer please."

"You are in the boss's seat, ya know." And she smiled as she went to get his drink.

"Really, I can tell it's the best seat in the house," And then he looked at me, he smiled, his gaze went down to my breasts.

Rachel cleared her throat as she put down his stout, "Um, enjoying the view?"

He spun, a little embarrassed, I was being quiet I wasn't used to being looked at like that, I wasn't used to even more men surrounding me. I noticed even those that walked in or sat at the other end of the bar were watching me, I would catch their eyes, I would see them looking at me, my eyes, hair, then breasts. I was enjoying the attention, I was assuming they all found me attractive as I found them.

The man grabbed her hands, "I am," He then pulled her closer to him and they kissed.

"Sabrina this is Michael, my husband of six with the roaming eyes."

"Hi," I took his hand.

"Sabrina? Finally, we meet, I have heard so much about you."

I was just about to ask what, but Ross walked behind me, put his arm once again around my waist, joined the conversation. We talked for another hour. I was having a perfectly lovely time.

*

End of Part 2

*

The author at her desk hardly working...

A Sister 'til Christmas 3
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Okay, here we are easing into the holidays, another big date and a little backstory... Just a little time shifting, nothing too major.... I hope YOU like it...

***

I was looking at my phone, I had three texts from Sara, I didn't want to be rude and answer them.

"I'm sorry I kept you out for so long." We were outside, it was starting to snow, it was light, just flurries but it was beautiful. I was freezing.

I smiled, closed my eyes, and felt the light snow, I lifted my chin. He could never imagine how happy I was, sliding in my pumps, holding my arms around myself wishing they were his. We walked to the car, I was going to remember this day forever.

"Sabrina?"

I stopped and looked around, I felt the snow on my lashes, my lips, my cold shoulders. "Jada, hi."

Soon we found ourselves two storefronts down, I was sitting in Jada's raised salon chair, we were about to drink Shankey's, a sweet Irish whisky.

"This will warm you up, I would have brought you a coat, I have at least a dozen at home."

We giggled. I shrugged, "I never go anywhere I didn't think I ever needed one." And we laughed together.

"So you come into town and you don't visit?" She was wandering around her shop, she was filling up a shopping bag.

"I didn't realize you were on this strip. It's now my favorite part of Smithville."

"This is the spot, 'cause you have me, the gym, the olive oil shop, and then Ruffino's, there is no reason to go anywhere else." She laughed, she started playing with my hair, she took hold of my hoops. "Clip-on?"

"Mmm, I can't wait 'til my piercings heal, I can't wait to wear something big and bouncy, I can't wait to make noise and jingle."

"I love these earrings on a woman." Ross then stood up and looked at me closer, "Can I move your hair? Can I see your earrings better?"

"Um, okay."

And he ran his fingers, through my blondeness, moving the hair out of my face and over my ear. I felt this was my first time looking at him, studying. He had such dark eyes, dark messy hair, and the makings of a beard on his chin and cheeks. He was quite tall as he bent slightly to look at my ears, my eyebrows, my long lashes. I was thinking how perfect he was for me, how did they ever pick out someone so masculine to make me feel even more femme? I couldn't wait to see how delicate my hands looked in his. I gave him my best smile as he touched the little pearl dot in my ear, then he rested his palm on the big hoop. "You are so lovely, Sabrina. Um, you got great ears too, ha." He pulled away a little embarrassed.

"Doesn't she? Do you want another piercing, two like me?"

I started to think. Did I? I think I did, but when Jada came over to the house a couple of weeks ago to pierce my ears the first time, um, something happened, I knew it was going to happen again. It might be fun with an audience, but I was so transparent I knew someone would size up the situation.

"Well,"

"Come on, it's quick, one two..." She took off my hoops. She held up a little torture device. A little gold dot was going to go in my ear.

So I smiled, I held back my hair as Jada put the little piercing gun to me. After the left one, I had a little chill, after the right, I came in my panties just like the first time. I had my eyes closed, Ross was inches away from me, I could smell him, could almost feel his breath.

"All done. Anything else my dear?"

I opened my eyes slowly, wide, my lips pursed, I felt my disposition become a little flirtier, a little more sure of myself. "Well, I would love a ponytail like Rachel." And I knew the look on my face was much more femme, more sensuous, I wasn't a mystery to myself at all.

Jada ran her hands through my hair. "Can we lose this hair for a second?"

I looked at Ross, he was going to see me without my perfect girl hair. "Um, okay." I saw her fingers get closer to me. "I would also love nails as long as yours, they are lovely." I was thinking I would also love real breasts, a perfect nose, and darker, thicker eyebrows. Ooh and maybe a dog. "I would love eyebrows like yours too." I smiled, I wasn't even embarrassed, I'm sure the whisky and the last hour at the bar with Rachel were feeding into my exploration of more feminization. I was afraid my laundry list of all things girlie was going to be discussed and displayed and then put into action. I knew I would feel incredible, then get guilty thinking about Sara, afraid of what she might think, then I would have another wonderful orgasm.

I shook my head, my hair was quite long I had been growing it out for the last two years or so. Unfortunately, it had been stuck under a little cap all day, it didn't look too nice, it felt flat and bland. She pulled out a book of hair samples, she held them to my head, to my real hair color as Ross and I watched amused, as we finished our sweet Whisky. I then realized I had large lashes, colored lips, and a double piercing. I knew I still looked feminine with my flat lifeless hair.

I put back on the wig as Jada made a call, she had a huge smile on her face. "Okay, can you come in tomorrow, honey? I will have one of the girls pick up the extensions in Philly."

"Um, I think so."

"Then we can have lunch together." Ross grabbed my hand, he lifted me out of the chair.

"Can we go shopping? Christmas shopping?"

"Ha, yeah, of course, that would be great." We hugged Jada goodbye, sometime tomorrow I would be a different woman, so much more different than Sara. Wait until she finds out I was going shopping and to the salon without her. Wait until she finds out I was now wearing Ross's large coat.

*

We were outside the house, the kitchen light was on, I knew Sara was up, probably drinking decaf, definitely wondering why I never texted her back.

"What time would you like me to get you?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm sorry for bothering you, you are probably working."

"What, I'm the boss, I can do what I want." He reached over and took my hand. I looked down at the two of them, mine was so femme, so perfect, I wanted to tell him I wanted a picture of our hands, I wanted to look at them tonight. I wanted to dream about his fingers investigating my ears and thighs, or my fingers intertwined with his.

"Can we take a picture together?"

He smiled, "Sure, let me pull over." He drove beyond the trees, closer to the farmhouse next to mine. We took off our seat belts and moved closer together. We both took pictures with our phones, I took one of him holding my hand, my legs crossed, then his hand on my knee close to the hem of my dress. He held up his, I looked at the image, now with two piercings in each ear. I couldn't believe that was me, I couldn't believe I was in a picture with a man. I couldn't believe I went on a date. I couldn't believe I was having deja vu, I had done something like this so many years before.

***

So Many Years Before...

*

"Can I stay?"

"Really? They have a pool, there will be lots of people, I'm sure you will have fun."

"I know, I'm just a little tired. I just want to hang around in the lobby, maybe I'll read my book."

"Okay."

When I was eighteen my parents took me to Florida for a month with their friends. A husband and wife and two daughters. We had adjoining rooms, a big living room in between, and a beautiful view of the huge pool surrounded by palm trees. I wanted to stay in the hotel, The Floridian, they wanted to go visit more friends. I wanted to investigate the outfits the older daughter wore.

"Now, you are sure you don't want to come?" My mother had asked me constantly the same question over the last two days, I could tell she didn't really trust me alone. She always assumed I was up to something, had a more mysterious motive. I always told her not to worry about me.

"Oh, ya gonna leave me alone with some jerks from Florida?" Liz was the older daughter, she was probably twenty-one, twenty-two, and always carried a thermos of coffee. She was beautiful, had perfect big breasts, long brown hair, and sometimes wore beautiful tight dresses. All I could think about was wearing them, or even her bra, her heels, I couldn't wait for them to be gone for the day. I never had access to clothes like this before.

"Mmm, I'm sorry. Tomorrow will be a day just for you. Anything, whatever you want to do. Okay?" I told her, I smiled big, I would do what she wanted anyway, she was quiet but fun. I wanted to be just like her.

She shook her massive head of hair, her tiny plastic earrings, she gave me a look. "I'm holding you to that." She made a face and then the six of them were gone, leaving me in the large beautiful air-conditioned hotel room. Leaving me alone with dresses, heels, and so much makeup. I was shaking like crazy, it was going to be a wonderful day.

*

An hour later I was wearing the bright flouncy red dress that was left on the chair near the bed. I was wearing the dress that went out last night to dinner. It was a tank with a hem that barely covered my panties. Underneath I had on the beige bra I found hidden under the chair, I filled it with tissues giving me a perfect B cup, just right for my body frame. I found the beige panties hidden under the bed. Liz was in a rush to get into bed last night, they were all in a rush to get to Hollywood, FL today. I was in no rush at all, I could barely breathe, I could barely stop shaking and shifting my legs while looking at the new girl in the mirror.

I was nervous, I was putting the finishing touches to my makeup. I was being so neat, so tidy. Just a little blush, mascara, shadow. Just a touch of Liz's dark red lipstick. I only had on light colors before, never anything dark, my mother barely wore makeup. At home, she had a beautiful vanity, plenty of room for everything, but she kept her recipes and receipts in the drawers, old diaries, socks. I wanted lashes, clips, bangles, makeup, and more makeup, I always thought how disappointing, how sad that the vanity was barely feminine.

Holding the hair dryer, I blew and brushed my hair as femme as possible, I put a little barrette on the side. My hair was slightly long, just over my shoulders and it was of course, strawberry blonde. I was blessed with girl hair, girl hands, and of course, girl's feet. I slipped on the beige pantyhose I found on the floor in the corner, I put on the four-inch red sandals. They were at least one size too big, I had smaller feet than a woman.

I put on a little bit of the Avon perfume, I found in the bathroom, I took one of the pocketbooks hanging in the closet, I went back into my own room. I took pictures, I practiced my walk, my strut, my spin. It didn't take long until I was in front of the huge mirror in the bathroom, rubbing my 'clit' and talking in my soft girlie voice. I wanted to feel like this all day, I didn't want to get too excited, I didn't want to cum, but I did. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to feel guilty, I didn't want to see the disappointed look in the blonde's eyes in my mirror. I wanted to cry. All this work, all this preparation, and now it was over.

I leaned against the counter I didn't want to open my eyes.

I forced myself to blink, I slowly walked back into Liz's family's room. I sat in her chair surrounded by shopping bags, dirty clothes, cardboard cups, and water bottles. I crossed my legs, I didn't move, I waited until whatever was inside of my mind passed. I wasn't ready to take off her clothes, her makeup. I wasn't ready to end this perfect feminine day.

I took a deep breath, I blew out, I breathed in. I sat for so long, I waited until that feeling came back, the feeling I needed. I started painting my short nails, dark red, Darker and more exciting than anything I had ever done before. I made a mess, I cleaned it up, I was shaking again.

Soon I was ready. I was ready once more to be a girl for the day. I couldn't believe it but I was ready to go out. I never went out, I barely left the bathroom back in Queens, but here I was ready to investigate Miami as a teenage girl.

"Hi, I love this hotel." I would say to the people working, "Hi, I love your bikini." I would say to the girls younger than me and not as cute. "Oh I love how well you fill out those trunks," I would say to the boys, to the men, to the lifeguard I couldn't stop looking at for the past couple of weeks.

It was too hot to walk around the palm trees in pantyhose. It was too slippery to walk by the pool in heels. I went into the little drugstore and bought a book, a romantic Jacqueline Susann novel. This would be something to help me fantasize, something to keep me looking busy as I rub my thighs and made believe I wasn't checking out boys. I found a quiet, cool corner in the huge lobby. I said hello to an older couple, a little girl with a stuffed dolphin, one of the maids in a uniform I wish I could try on. I smiled as people watched me sit back, slide my dress underneath me, crossing my legs.

I got through two chapters playing with my hair and biting my lip, it was fun, I was so relaxed. My red sandal was bouncing, slightly dangling off my foot, I could barely smell my perfume over the scent of white bird of paradise, adonidia palm, and angel's trumpet surrounding me. I looked up, there was a man five feet away.

"Hey, that dress looks really familiar."

***

I was looking at the girl on Ross's phone, remembering her being younger, ready for an adventure. Remembering her in red and meeting a young man in the lobby of a busy hotel. A different man's voice drew me back to the snow, the trees.

"Tomorrow we will be taking pictures of you with a new ponytail. I can't wait." He smiled at me, he took another selfie of us.

I was far away, I had to pay attention to the man with his fingers on my thigh. "I had so much fun today." I looked up, his face was so close to mine, he then moved even closer. He put his phone down, he put his arm around me, my nose slid against him and he surprisingly kissed me. He kissed a 'married woman,' he kissed her slowly, his tongue slipping into her mouth, with her perfect pink lips and four earrings. He didn't know she could barely breathe, he didn't realize she was over-excited. He didn't realize she could scream at a moment's notice.

I was holding in a scream as his tongue swirled inside my mouth, slowly he pulled out, I tried to keep it, I tried to suck. I smiled, today was ending on a perfect note. I kissed him lightly on his lips. "You are so mean, making fun of me getting a ponytail?" I squinted my eyes, trying to be cute.

He grinned, "I don't think so. I am looking forward to seeing you and your tail tomorrow. I had fun today too."

I shifted in the seat, my nylon leg now over his, my hands with the slightly long nails went to his cheeks. We kissed again, harder, his hands on my waist and back. I loved kissing, I loved the roughness of his chin and cheeks, I loved the scent of a man.

"You must have so many girlfriends. You have the kindest eyes, you have the best eyebrows."

"Mmm, do I? heh, I am not as popular as you think."

I smiled up at him as he drew me into his body, I was enjoying how he was holding me, keeping me warm, getting me too excited. I rubbed my cheek on his rougher one, holding him tighter, enjoying being with a perfect man. I loved that he took me out today and complimented me, I loved the way his hands were investigating my body.

"Uhh," I was suddenly surprised, I started to lightly moan, then my eyes opened wide and I started to unfocus. Then something happened, I wasn't ready for it, I started to orgasm. I was totally startled, felt the wetness in my panties expand, I wiggled my bottom, I bounced my ass on the seat, rubbing my nylon leg over his body. I felt my next move was to rip off his clothes, see his chest, then play with his, um, manhood. I felt I had to shake myself out of this, had to become a little reserved, had to act like it was a first date again. His hands were still rubbing me.

"Ross, um, thank you for kissing me," I said in my shakey, Queens accent. Trying to catch my breath.

"I have been wanting to do this since the first time I saw your picture."

"Picture?"

He was hugging me, we were so close as he talked, whispered. "Mmm, when Sara came to the restaurant, it must be over a month ago now, she was showing Rachel pictures of her sister, ha, well you." He started kissing my neck, my ears. "I heard them discussing some plan, she was going to hire someone to come bring you flowers, she wanted to see how you would react, I could tell she wanted to tease you. Then someone volunteered me."

"She was going to tease me?"

"Well, she said you would be all nervous and run and hide in your room. I saw the pictures of the gorgeous woman she had up on her laptop. I was so glad they convinced me to visit and not some random actor like she was planning. All I did was watch the clock the first night and wait until almost seven before I left. I couldn't wait to see you." He started playing with my hair, and once again he was focused on my eyes. "I asked Sara if I could come every night, you were so beautiful and so quiet."

"That was your idea?"

"Mmm, she just wanted me to visit the once, but I couldn't stay away. Back then I thought you were her, well, she told us you were her genderfluid sibling, she told us very little about you. Part of me likes that you are married, ya know, is that weird?"

"No," I put my arms around his neck again and pulled him into me. "No, I don't think so. I don't feel like a married woman, I am definitely more of a sister than anything else to her and that's the way I like it."

We started to kiss again, I ran my fingers through his hair, I was holding him so he couldn't move away. I was enjoying a man's tongue inside of me.

He moaned, he pulled slightly away, he gave me small kisses as he talked. "Then she came to the restaurant and said I shouldn't bring you any more roses, she was a little agitated, she also had company again that night. She is a very different person sometimes, depending on who she is with." I felt his lips on my neck, the top of my dress. "It was Rachel's idea to have you see the restaurant, it was mine to take you out. I am so glad I did."

We kissed some more, I felt like a teenager in a father's car, making out with an older boyfriend. I slid my hand down to my stockinged legs and rubbed, I inched over to his crotch, I wanted to see if he was hard. I wanted to know if I was turning him on. There was a hardness to the right of his zipper, it was attempting to crawl down his leg, I started to pet him. Our tongues sloppily went in and out of each other's mouths as I pushed on him harder. I started to press, he was making noise, a grunt, a sigh, a louder moan. I pulled away from his lips, I watched his face as I played with his manhood hidden in his pants, I wanted him to look at my lashes, my soft eye shadow, as I played with his hard cock.

"Sabrina, your fingers are magic."

"Mmm, I know, ha."

Soon he was moving erratically, as I held and rubbed and pushed, he moaned louder, I knew he was cumming, I felt his hardness throb. I was so happy he had an orgasm while gazing into my blue eyes, It made me smile to think about it, I was in another world. Another world where it was only Ross and me, it was snowing and Christmas never came.

My phone was still buzzing, but my brain was buzzing louder, my libido was going crazy and I knew one little breeze over my 'clit' and I would cum like crazy again.

His hand went on top of my dress, I came like crazy... again.

*

I heard her, I tried to stay reserved, nonchalant. I planned on not looking into her eyes.

"Don't you answer the phone?" She walked into the living room, she was on her own Apple.

I looked around, I put the shopping bag Jada gave me on the table. "I saw Jada in town, I went to visit her."

"It's after ten. What did you do for what... seven hours?" She had her hand on her hip, I could tell she was getting even more annoyed than she had been earlier. "Your first time out like this and you are out almost all day."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I had fun. I felt okay the whole time. I even met everyone, they all asked about you." I smiled. "They said to say hello. Hello."

I smiled at her, finally making eye contact, but she couldn't be bothered.

"Seven hours?" She shook her head and went into her bedroom. I cleaned up the cups and things on the little table, the remnants of the food from Ruffinos. I shut the TV, repositioned the reindeer-patterned blankets, then hid in my room with my bag full of goodies from Jada.

*

"Sabrina!"

Sara was calling me, I just stepped out of my shower, refreshed, I was in a towel, I was getting ready for the new day. I didn't tell her what I had planned.

"Rachel tells me you are going to Ruffino's for lunch, what the hell?"

I didn't want her to see me with no makeup, with no wig or dress. If she saw me she would talk to me differently, she would treat me like her husband and not her sister.

I slightly opened my bedroom door, "Let me get ready."

"Why are you going out? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I, um, am going to visit Jada again."

"Shit, then I'm coming."

*

I didn't realize one little phone call from someone could change the direction of your day. Maybe even the direction of your life.

Briiiing...

"Hi honey, I got the new hair, what time ya wanna come in?" Jada was calling, I wasn't even almost dressed, I was stressed and nervous.

"Oooh, I don't know a couple of hours, I have to put on makeup and find an outfit, I'm shaking a little it might take a while."

"Mmm, can you come in now, just like you are? I have a dress here to show off your top and bottom forms and I can do your makeup. Ross says he will come by at one."

"Okay. Um, now Sara wants to come."

"Oh? You don't want her to?"

"Not really, I don't want her to see me getting my nails and hair done, or see me with Ross." I heard Sara in the other room, I think she was talking to me, she was making me more nervous.

"You know what? You come on in now, let me worry about Sara." And she giggled, I felt the weight lift off of me.

I put on my wig, "Jada's going to call, I'm gonna go, bye." It was strange and quite unexpected, I didn't even wait for a reply, I didn't even have on foundation. I left in jeans, converse, and my green sweater, I looked like I was going to snow blow the parking lots not go shopping in the arms of a man.

*

'Are you gonna to leave me
And leave my heart astray
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Come and show me the way'

Two hours in a styling chair is a long time to not get a good look in a mirror. The anticipation was making me slightly unhinged. Jada's shop was busy, the stylists were buzzing, it was Saturday and girls were coming in to look gorgeous for their weekend. I was in the back, I didn't think I could talk to the other clients yet, I just moved my colored lips around a lot when someone spoke to me.

"These boobs we got you are amazing, they look perfect with your coloring, your skin tone. From now on you are showing them off."

"Did you pick out the breast forms?"

Jada was arranging them in the dress, she gave me a small red push-up bra to wear underneath.

"I did, Sara asked about them. I made her get the best ones, Double D, the best-padded bottom too." She started playing with the top of the forms, moving my hair, holding up my chin. "Do you want to be a 'Boy Toy,' a 'Mommy,' or a 'Slut'?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have collars, I want to cover the seam of your forms. Ha, don't tell me you're shy?" She giggled as she checked my ponytail, my earrings, my flushed cheeks.

"I have one at home, it's frilly it hides it perfectly."

She ended up putting a piece of red fabric around my neck, matching the 'Christmas Red' dress. "This is perfect, no worries at all. Inside your head you can be a Boy Toy, a Mommy, and a Slut, you can be whatever you want to be, ha. Inside my head, I am all three."

I giggled with her, I couldn't wait to see what she did with my hair, I could feel it around my face, I could feel it on my shoulders and back.

Knock, "Can I come in?"

"You can, she is all ready to go shopping." Jada stood next to me as Ross walked in. She helped me out of the chair. I was nervous, I wanted to see what I looked like, I felt so different.

Ross moved closer, "May I?" His hands hovered near my hair. I shook, feeling and seeing the soft tendrils. He put his hand on the ponytail.

I spied Jada's eyes, she had a wide smile on her face.

"Wow, you look amazing." Soon he had both hands in my hair, he was playing with the two long wisps surrounding my face. They were redder, more 'me color' than 'wig color.' He put his hand under my chin and we kissed.

***

The first and second time I kissed a boy, I was eighteen and in Florida. I was in red.

*

We were in the hotel lobby, I was holding my book tight. "Liz told me her sister was young, you don't look that young."

I was lying to the boy that took her out to dinner the night before, took her out all week. I was getting nervous, he was still standing over me.

"This is definitely the dress she wore last night, look this is where she spilled her, um, pina colada." And he touched the hem, there was a lighter spot, it was a little hard. I was embarrassed having a man touch me, my legs.

"I better go." I stood, he was at least five inches taller, he was wider, he was quite tan, cute. I slipped around him making noise in the plastic heels.

"Wait!"

I spun, he handed me the black bag. "Why don't you stay with me, maybe I can get reacquainted with this dress." He smiled, he made me move closer to take the bag. For some crazy reason I said okay, he finally let go.

*

"ID."

The bartender had his hand out, the boy had his hand on my back. "She's with me, she's twenty-one. Look at her breasts, man."

I felt myself get redder than the dress, the bartender looked at my chest, my bra stuffed with tissues, he seemed to approve. He gave us both frozen pina coladas, maybe I will spill some too. I wanted to be like Liz.

"I'm Hendrix, and you are not Liz's sister."

"I'm not?"

"No, and I have a good idea who you are. I can tell by the color of your hair." And he touched it, he ran his fingers through it. I liked that, I liked how intimate it was.

"Don't tell anyone." I looked up at him, I bit my lip.

"Your secret is safe with me."

He smiled. I told him my femme name as we sat drinking pineapple-based drinks all day, here in the quiet and empty large grass-roofed building, listening to music and the bartender. I kept on trying to answer both of their questions in my femme voice, it wasn't easy, I was never femme for this long before. Soon others came to sit near us, but we ignored them, instead I let him play with my hair, I played with my icy glass, I concentrated on my painted nails. After a while, I felt I had a stupid smile and a foggy, squinty look on my face. My lipstick was all but gone but I didn't have the nerve or the tube to touch it up.

"Are you from Queens too?"

"Mmm."

"I live in Jersey, the shore."

"Mmm."

"You're not as chatty as Liz, heh. I guess not all girls from Queens are."

I think I smiled, I had my hand suddenly on his chest. "I had a great day today, but I don't think I'm used to pineapple." And I hiccupped, put my fingers in front of my lips, and he laughed.

I was a little disoriented when I tried to stand, I realized I had to get changed. I had to say goodbye to him. I held onto the stool as he fixed my hair, wiped some colada off my chin. We said goodbye to the bartender as he put a free drink card in my palm, I stuck it in the black bag. I had Hendrix's arm around me for support as we walked back toward the rooms. His was right above us, we were on one and he was on two. He made a noise, he saw Liz before I did, he dragged me away behind a little cabana. I must have had a weird, nervous look in my eyes, he bent down and he kissed me. It was quick, just a peck on the lips.

"It will be okay. Where are your clothes?"

"Um, why am I naked now?"

"Heh, no, I mean do you want Liz and the family to see you? You know in her dress."

And then I got really worried, my hands started to shake. My fingers went to my lips, I didn't have a plan. "Um, I guess they are in the hotel room, probably on the bed. What should I do?"

He looked at me, he started to rub my breasts, the tissues. "Give me another kiss and I will get your clothes, I will even tell everyone I saw your other half on the beach."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He kissed me again, this time he had his tongue inside of me, he ran his hands up my back, I put my arms around his neck. I was eighteen and I was kissing a boy, a man. I didn't want to let go, I didn't want to stop. I knew guests were walking behind him, watching as I held tight, as I let him taste the remnants of our afternoon on my lips and tongue. He smiled at me and then we kissed again, longer, a little messier, it was quite wonderful.

"Wow, you kiss better than Liz. Stay here." And I watched him move away from me as I held onto tightly to the wall, as I watched him walk over towards the rooms. Sixty-five minutes later I told everyone I spent the day under an umbrella on the beach. Someone gave me beer. Hendrix smiled as I made up a story, him and Liz were going out again tonight. He would never tell her about me.

I still had to get her dress and all her things back onto the hotel room floor. I still had to figure out a way to take off the red nail polish I had hiding in my pockets.

***

I could tell Ross was mesmerized by my new look. "I just left Sara at Ruffino's, she is in a great mood, she said they are going to watch movies on the couch all day. Rachel made snacks for them."

"Oh?"

Ross was filling me in as Jada finished me up.

She was using hair spray, then finishing spray on me, she finally let me look into her mirror, she finally let me see my new hair. I had to bite my lip, I felt myself become a little too excited, a little too over the edge. I was now a little redder with darker roots. It was closer to my color as a teenager, reddish blonde, strawberry. The pony was high on the back of my head and long, it came down a couple of inches past my shoulders. It was held up with a little red scrunchie. My hair was parted in the middle with two long dangling wisps surrounding my face, I looked so feminine, I looked like a well-kept woman, I thought I looked very expensive. I was imagining my hands would never get dirty.

"I told her you would call her, tell her what we are doing."

Ross was now behind me, looking at my darker eyes with longer lashes in the mirror. Even my bottom lashes were dark and thick along with my darker, thicker eyebrows. I looked again at Ross, he was focusing on my lips, they were so big, plump. They were matte red and so inviting. I put my fingers to them, my nails were so long and fire engine red, twice the length from what they were this morning, the same size as Jada's.

"Well, how do you two like the decolletage?" Jada was next to us, taking pictures.

"The what?" I couldn't pay attention, I was looking at my eyes, lips, and nails, oh and of course my boobs.

"That cleavage, c'mon it's incredible. Ross take a grab, let me get a picture of you holding on to them."

Suddenly Ross's palms were under my boobs, pushing them slightly up through the V-cut of the red dress. The waist was tight, I now had on a corset, I also had on the vagina panties giving me more hips and more ass. The dress was slightly full and landed mid-thigh showing off my beige pantyhose. I was standing in my five-inch red platform pumps, I was leaning into Ross. His hands were firmly on my boobs, I was trying not to have an explosive orgasm.

"Maybe you should call Sara now, while you are being fondled." Jada giggled as she handed me back my phone.

I watched Ross's eyes as he lightly kissed my exposed ear, as the phone started to ring. "Hi, it's me." My voice was shaky, like my hands.

I felt him lean into my ass, I felt my body melt into his, I felt Sara would be able to tell something was up with my voice.

"Mmm, we are going shopping, okay, have fun, say hello to him for me." And I hung up quickly, put the phone against my chest, and tried to keep my eyes open.

Ross kissed me on the neck, "Everything good?"

"Mmm."

"Sara is with our friend again, do you know him?"

"Who James? Mmm, I do."

I smiled and shook my head.

***

'Where does our love lie
In the middle of nowhere
How can you let it die
In the middle of nowhere'

Over the summer we talked about vacation. Well, Sara did the talking. I love that she wants me to think that Port Republic was so random. It wasn't.

"I think we should buy a house there, for weekends, vacations."

"Really? It sounds far."

"We live in Queens, everything sounds far." Well, New Jersey from New York? Is not that far, it's not like San Fran or Spain far, it's nothing like Florida far. I knew the reason she wanted a house there, I knew she would use it to get away from Queens, from me.

Before she found a house she traipsed around Southern New Jersey, visiting different little towns, visiting the beaches, but she already pinpointed where she would settle. She wanted to move to Port Republic, she wanted to live close to a man she met years before. A man she just started sleeping with. She wanted to make sure her needs were being met while her 'sister' visited, while her 'sister' went away with her in December. I knew the winter break was for her, she needed it more than me, she was busy at work and traveling to and from the Southern part of Jersey. She said it was for us, but it was really for her.

I was quite okay with everything. I had to be.

'Are you gonna to leave me
Leave my heart astray
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Come and show me the way'

*

I felt I had to tell Jada about me and Sara, I'm sure she knew we were married. I was good at secrets but this one was unneeded, this one would be fine for the world to know, especially now if both she and I were with men. I had to tell Jada and Ross that I knew about Sara and her 'plaything.' 'Plaything,' that's what she always called him, she never used his name. When she spoke of him to me she stopped herself, she always said 'never mind you won't understand,' she would make it sound like he was the best lover in the world. He was the best thing that ever happened to her.

I was hoping he really was. I was hoping he treated her right. I was hoping someone would find me a 'plaything' of my own, though I would never call him that. I wanted a lover with a name. It was going to be hard finding someone if I never left the house.

"And then I met you. I didn't even have to leave the house." I had my long finger on Ross.

And the three of us laughed. Jada put the makeup she used on me in my little black bag.

"I have had this bag for years, I got it in Florida."

My friend Liz left it in her hotel room and it makes me comfortable knowing I have a little bit of her with me. When I told her I stole it from her, she cried, she put her arms around me. We talk sometimes, but I still miss her. I miss her every day.

***

I had my first hangover when I was eighteen and in Florida.

*

"God effin' Florida is so hot." Liz had a headache. I didn't want to tell her I had one too. I was betting mine was worse.

"At least the bus is cold."

We had two large coffees, getting colder than the bus, in our hands. I promised her I would do something with her today, the day after I spent it with Hendrix. The night after she did the same. She wanted him to come with us but there was no way I would have been able to even look at him, dressed as a boy.

"You know that effin' maid threw all my clothes in the closet, even my best dress." She looked around the bus, we were surrounded by senior citizens, there was no one under seventy, not even the driver. She whispered, "I'm making the hotel get it cleaned, it had a huge stain on it, it was a cum stain, ha." She giggled as I watched her. "That Hendrix has bad aim, ha. And he cums like crazy."

Last night, I got into her room, I put all the clothes I borrowed in this large closet. Hendrix was with everyone by the pool, they were all exhausted by the drive. I still had her black bag, I kept it in the back of the closet in my suitcase.

After that, I went to the little drugstore and bought a nail polish remover, the girl behind the counter told me "Nice red, Red." I just smiled, I was dressed as a boy but in my mind, I was all girl. I threw up like a girl behind the drugstore.

Today we were spending the day in Disney World. Our parents didn't want to go, even her sister didn't want to go. I would have been just as happy taking a scenic boat ride or shopping on Biscayne Boulevard. I would have been even happier just sleeping. We spent the day walking around the park, drinking black coffee, laying on the grass, and watching her shop. She bought Minnie Mouse ears and wore them the rest of the day. It wasn't until the sun went down that we both felt better, she said she was going to introduce me to pina coladas. Turned out that just the smell of them made me retch, crazy but they still do, once you get sick on frozen cocktails you are maimed for life.

We spent the rest of the night eating sandwiches and having drinks, I was so nervous someone was going to ask for my ID. I didn't have boobs to make me look older today.

"We look so sophisticated drinking wine." And we clinked glasses. She talked about the families, she talked about her younger sister, she talked most of the day about Hendrix. It was nice.

When I have wine, when I hear 'When You Wish Upon Star,' when I think of Disney World I think of her and Hendrix. I think how nice of a time I had. I didn't know which day I liked more, the one with a boy or the one with a girl. I felt I was not so secretly in love with them both.

***

End of Part 3

A Sister 'til Christmas 4 & 5
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Oooh, I'm getting nervous... Christmas will do that too me. I put 4 and 5 together so the whole story is out by Christmas Eve... This will be fun, I promise... I hope YOU like it...

***

"We, my dear, are going to Philly."

I was freezing, I had my arms tightly around myself, with only my black pocketbook for warmth.

"Uh, uh, uh, okay." My teeth were rattling as I rubbed my arms.

"We are going to Philly to get you a warm coat." And we jogged to Ross's gray car which was blending into the winter background.

He took his tan wool one from the backseat and placed it over my legs, I slipped my arms under it. He moved a bit of hair from my sticky lip gloss, he kissed my cheek and we left Smithville. I turned slightly to watch him drive, to watch his hands on the wheel, for some reason it was turning me on, making me just a touch excited, I was glad my legs and nails were hidden. I just enjoyed his hands, the ride, I kept a slight smirk on my face the whole time.

"Your hair almost matches your dress."

"Almost, ha, maybe that was Jada's plan." I shook the tail, I love the feeling of it bouncing around me, the feeling of it on my neck.

We had an hour's ride and after a few minutes I slipped off the coat, I showed off my legs, I ran my long red nails on my thighs.

"You look incredible today, but then again I think you always look incredible."

I turned, his eyes were on the road, the expressway.

"Thank you, I think you look incredible too."

"Ha, do I?" He smiled at me, he looked a little embarrassed he pushed back his hair.

I liked flirting with him, it was something that I always imagined doing with men but very rarely tried. I never had anyone to flirt with, I never had an opportunity. I realized at that moment I needed him. If I was with Sara and I felt a little frisky in the car she would laugh, she would tell me to relieve myself in the back seat. She was no fun.

"Ross what would you do if I wanted to play with you."

"Play with me?"

"Mmm-mmm. What would you do, would you tell me no and banish me to the back seat?" I moved the hem of my dress higher, I had my palms now on my upper thighs moving closer to my red silk panties.

"Ah, Sabrina, maybe I better pull over I can't concentrate." And then he smiled and shook his head. Once again I got him distracted and he changed plans. He kept glancing at my legs and now completely visible panties. I was tucked but showing off the silicone slit, it was very noticeable in the transparent red silk. I was getting excited sitting here with new hair and nails, I was too excited not rubbing against the man that was so close, yet so far away.

He pulled into a rest area. We were behind some tractor trailers and we slipped into the back seat of his grayer BMW iX. We met in the middle and he kissed me, once again I put my arms around his neck. He had my waist and he pulled me even closer.

"Ross I'm sorry I get like this, I'm not used to having my hair up or my breasts so noticeable."

"Really? You are so beautiful, what, do you hide?" And he made a slight laugh as his hands went to the breast forms.

"I do, I'm really good at that." I then walked my fingers down to his crotch, he opened his legs and I opened his zipper. I wanted to see my long nails holding his manhood, I wanted to see how sexy it looked, how excited it would make me. We stopped kissing as I pulled it out of the briefs, pants, and out into the open of his backseat.

He put his hand in my hair and pulled me into him, he was gripping the ponytail as our mouths reconnected. We made out as I played with his cock, as I felt the hair surrounding it as I felt his balls. I was enjoying the feel of a man, the feel of a man who found me beautiful.

"Mmm," He moaned as my two hands kneaded his dick.

"I want you in my mouth, baby."

"Oh, god..." He lay back against the rear door as I pulled down his pants to his thighs. "You can't be talking like that, you are making me a little too excited."

"Sorry." I raised my shoulders as I looked into his dark eyes, I wasn't sorry at all. I slipped between his legs and slowly bent down to kiss his cock. I pushed it with my lips from his balls to the tip and then looked up at him. He was smiling, he had his eyes wide open, he was enjoying a 'woman' on his manhood. I kissed the tip, a loud 'muah.'

"Ready?" I asked, I was being flirty and girly again.

"Oh my god yes..."

And I let him in, took his cock through my tight lips, over my tongue, just reaching the back of my throat. I gagged and let him slip out. I took a breath and did it again, I got used to his length, his girth. I started to suck, I was loving the taste of a man, it had been too long for me. I let his cock move in and out of my lips, I let his body thrust, I let my fingers wander over his thighs. Soon I was concentrating just on the head of his cock, tasting his precum, getting ready for even more.

I couldn't believe our relationship would ramp up so fast. I knew I would be excited with a man, with anyone who found me attractive, I just didn't think I would have his pants down and his cock inside me so quickly.

"Sabrina, I'm gonna cum."

"Oh? Okay, baby." I slipped off of his legs, I put my face right below his cock as I leaned on his body. He took hold of himself and started rubbing. "In my mouth." I stuck out my tongue, I waited for his cum. I rubbed my legs together, my clit tight between me, my hands started to shake as I held on tighter to his legs. I smiled and flirted I couldn't wait until he unloaded on and in me.

"Ahhh.." He let out a large breath, a loud moan as he kept pumping.

I was getting ready, my voice trembling, "I want you, I want to taste you." I stuck out my tongue just as his cum shot out of his cock, just as he finished his last pump. It landed on my chin, my cheek, my eyes and some made its way into my mouth. I let him watch me swallow, then push some more into my mouth. His dick still dribbled and I took him back through my red lips, I sucked. Feeling him on my tongue.

"That was incredible." He breathed out and ran his fingers through my hair again It's funny but I could tell he loved the two strands hanging in my face. I could tell that was what he focused on, concentrated on.

"Mmm." I continued to moan and suck as I rubbed my legs together again, I let him slip from my mouth, I moaned, I showed him my tongue, I started to cum. I tried to swallow what was left in my mouth but some dripped down my chin, onto my chest. I immediately put my long fingers on the front of my panties and rubbed them. I had to close my eyes, I felt his hand on my cheek as I came, I kept doubling over, it was so intense, I hadn't had a cock in my mouth in years, plus one that tasted so good. I let out one more moan and landed with both hands on his chest, his cock pushing against my belly, wet but happy. I let him play with my hair some more as I played with the buttons on his flannel. I felt it was an even trade. Soon my palm was on his naked chest.

"We should drive to Philly all the time." He chuckled.

"Good idea." I kissed his chest, I could have happily fallen asleep, rubbing and playing with all his hair now tickling my cheeks.

*

"If I didn't bother you this holiday season what would you be doing." I was bothering Ross, we were at Macy's, there were so many decorations. We had shopping bags full of gifts over our arms.

"Well, I probably would have been working or reading at the bar while Rachel and her husband would try to talk to me."

"Try?"

"Mmm, they don't let me read, ha. She would be making me all kinds of crazy drinks to try too."

"I think I would love that. Could I sit next to you? I can wear something very Christmassy." He laughed, he shook his head, I could tell he thought I was acting cute. I could tell he liked me. "I could turn your pages."

"Ha, could you?"

I wiggled my fingers, showing off my nails.

I was thinking that if this was two weeks before I wouldn't have anyone to buy presents for, but now I had a list. I even snuck off and bought something for Ross when he went to the men's room. We shopped for about two hours, I even bought a coat, a long, maxi, it was a pinkish white, and made of wool like his. It came down to my ankles, hiding my legs.

We then went to an Italian restaurant close by that Ross knew of. We had an early dinner and drinks. When I went to the ladies' room there was a crowd of people milling about. When I came out they were still there, and twice as many as before, women and men all dressed up for a party. I noticed many of the women were wearing stockings, I was surprised, I was quite happy. I was glad my dress was short so I could show off my own as I slowly made my way through the crowd, smelling the wonderful perfume and aftershave.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, "Wow, love that dress, love it." I spun around, and a woman in a long green gown was smiling at me, she had the most incredible heels. "You look, sensational darling, just sensational."

"Thank you so do you."

She took my hand, she looked at my nails, they were the same length and color as hers. "Are you here for the party?"

"No, just dinner," I smiled, I was enjoying being surrounded by people, a crowd, handome men and women. I love this woman holding my hand to hers.

"Are you finished?"

"Mmm, yes." And I giggled.

"Then come with us." She continued to hold my hand while she introduced me to about six others, six people in suits and dresses, six people I never would have met if I was in my bedroom posing in front of my mirror, or sitting reading Ross's book over his shoulder at the end of the bar.

I texted Ross, I told him I was immersed in the crowd and to come and save me. I had to stand on my toes so he could see my ponytail, soon we silently followed my new friends. I introduced him as the crowd made its way to another part of the restaurant.

Two doors opened, lots of lights, lots more people. The music was loud and soon we were dancing. I wasn't the best dancer but I could move, I could fake it. Sometimes when I am by myself I practice as if I was a stripper, a lap dancer. I kicked my heels up, shook my breasts, and rubbed my ass on the bed, this time I did my moves on Ross. His lips were on my neck, his arms and hands touching me. I wasn't even embarrassed that all the other girls were so much sexier than me, they all sang, they all grabbed my hand, and got me involved with their dance moves.

"Here you go."

A man came over with drinks, little ones, pink and green ones. Everyone grabbed one and swallowed, it was sweet, it was kinda hot, it was fantastic. I kissed Ross with my minty tongue, I rubbed against him, I was starting to have too much fun. I could only think in the moment, with the bass, the feel of the music. Then one of the other men led us to the middle of the dance floor, more people, even louder music, they started to sing. We started to sing with them.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
underneath the Christmas tree"

I was having so much fun, I had Ross's arm around me, as we got in the circle and sang to each other. I could fake being a soprano in a crowd. Everyone had a smile, everyone was having almost as much fun as me.

"I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you"

Everyone yelled and clapped when the song was done, then something quieter came on. Ross spun me, I ended up in his arms. We moved to a darker section of the dance floor. The man with the drinks gave us two more and I made him have one with us. The three of us toasted to Christmas, toasted to the DJ, and toasted to this great party that we created and crashed.

I put my arms around Ross's neck, he put his hands on my hips. I was feeling just a little lightheaded, I was feeling very calm, so relaxed, so satisfied. I let him pull me into him, his hard body against me.

"Mmm, I like this, Sabrina." He whispered in my ear.

"So do I, I love to dance. Did you know that I love kissing while I dance?"

"I didn't, but that's good to know, 'cause so do I."

And then he kissed me, it was different, it was slow and deliberate. My fingers went into his hair, his fingers traced my bra strap. He kept pushing into my body and we slowly ground. He was sucking my tongue as I messed up his hair, suddenly I started to orgasm. I held on to him, he watched as my eyelashes flickered, as I felt my panties get moist. He then pushed harder against my crotch. I felt my body shake, as he watched me again, I knew he was cumming too, I knew he was enjoying himself as our bodies rubbed together. I held on, I was enjoying the moment, I think I have been waiting for this moment since the first moment he brought me a white rose.

"My god, " I breathed out, I leaned against him, so satisfied, so happy that the day was turning out extraordinary.

"Ha, wow, I wasn't expecting that." he smiled, kissed my red lips again."

I had such deja vu, I was remembering the first time I danced with a man, a slow dance, a quiet song. I was remembering he made me rub his manhood, he made me suck on his tongue. We heard people and we both came.

I figured that's what you do.

***

The first time I danced with a man I was in Florida.

*

"What the hell, it's my last night here, what could you possibly have to do?" Liz was mad her summer boyfriend was busy. Lately, he was always busy.

"I have to do something with the family, I'm sorry. We still have tomorrow." Hendrix bought her flowers, he brought her coffee, he was trying to be nice to her but she wasn't having any of it. She wasn't believing him. She wanted to see him tonight but she couldn't, he was seeing some strawberry blonde.

*

Since my first afternoon with Hendrix, we sort of became a thing. I would borrow something of Liz's to wear from her hamper or the bag she kept filled with dirty clothes. I didn't mind, usually, I just washed them. I even got to borrow her heels a couple of more times.

Mine and Liz's family were going to the pool today, say goodbye to the friends they made the last four weeks in Miami. Hendrix's mom and dad were going to a luau. I was outside his door, I was praying Liz didn't see me.

He opened, "Hey, c'mon in." I slipped in quickly, my stomach was an acid mess, I was nervous, I thought this was a bad idea. "My mother's things are in the bathroom."

"Okay. Are you sure it's alright?"

"Of course."

He wanted to see me once more before I left his life before he would have to say goodbye to his trans girlfriend. He told me he never even imagined that it was an option, now he was more open-minded, he couldn't wait to get back to New Jersey and find more girls like me, or like Liz. He told me he couldn't wait to investigate the new possibilities.

I had beige panties and pantyhose on under my clothes, I bought them at the little drugstore. I figured I would be gone in a day, who cares what the girl at the counter thought anymore? I also bought false eyelashes and a 'Liquid Lipstick,' I had never worn before. It was called pale mauve, it was beautiful, I hoped it went with the mother's dress.

He knocked, "Here you go." He handed me a plastic cup of red wine.

"When will everyone be back?"

"Not 'til after midnight, we have plenty of time. How 'bout you? Will they miss you?"

I thought, I watched myself apply the lashes. "Maybe, I just told them I was going for a walk on the strip, I told them I was going to stay out late."

"Ahh, great, I can't wait to see you all made up again. Do you like the dress? There are not too many to choose from, ha."

I picked it up. It was long, made of lace and bright white. "It's beautiful." I put on his mother's bra, stuffed with more tissues. I then slipped on the dress. It had thin straps, just barely covering the bra. The front showed just a hint of my breasts, just a hint of cleavage that the bra made. The back was low, just about covering the straps. I then slipped on the shoes. They were wedges, a four-inch heel with ankle straps. They fit better than Liz's heels but I wish I could borrow a pair of hers, but everything was in her case now, everything was by the door waiting to be in the belly of a plane.

I finished my makeup, a little bit of the mother's foundation, a little blush, and a lot of mascara to go with the false lashes. Then I brushed my hair, parted it on the side, I made bangs then pushed them back with a hair band. The band made me look different, even younger, more innocent. I then took a deep breath, I was going to put the lipstick on in front of Hendrix.

"Wow, very nice." He walked closer, but I slipped by him and went to the mirror above the drawers. "I love how much you change, you are a completely different person now." I smiled at him through the mirror I showed him my new lipstick tube. He moved closer and watched me as the mauve covered my lips, it was sticky and shiny. He rubbed me through the dress, he didn't say anything about the color of my lips, he was too busy rubbing himself against me. This is what we generally did together, usually, his manhood would be rubbing against a part of my body.
Anything, he said he liked it all.

*

Later on, when I put my things back into my black bag I noticed the free drink card. "Oooh, I forgot about this."

"We should go."

I smiled, he was teasing, I was enjoying listening to music and drinking his parent's red wine while cuddling on the small couch. He had his arm around me as I rubbed his chest, as he kissed my lips.

"Quick, we'll get a drink then take it back to the room."

I shook my hair, "No, please."

I know how he convinced me, after a long wet kiss we went outside, I held his arm as we walked through the cars in the parking lot, we slipped into a different entrance of the long grass-covered bar.

The bartender looked at my filled-out bra, he remembered me, and we got our free drinks but stayed closer to the back door where it was darker. It was pretty crowded, we were well hidden, but I was ready to go back to the room. I wanted to feel him against me, I wanted to kiss some more.

"Let's stay for a while, don't you like everyone watching you in this dress?"

"I guess, but everyone is looking at my breasts." He smiled, bright white teeth, tan, darker complexion, he was quite gorgeous. With his short dark hair, his tight t-shirt, him and Liz were a great couple, they were both so gorgeous together. I started to feel bad I ruined her last night in Miami. I would have to make it up to her somehow.

He slyly held my breasts as we kissed again, soon the music got lighter, he put his arms on my waist and I leaned into him, he was hard and it made me smile. I thought of myself as a very amateur crossdresser and here I was making a man hard. The thought of it excited me. I pushed my body into him as he started to kiss my neck, then we danced, it felt so good, a couple of others were dancing beside us. My first dance with a man. We started to kiss again, I was going to miss this, miss having a man in my life.

Back in Queens, I was an unpopular boy, but here in Miami, I was a busy woman with a boyfriend, and a friend who was a bartender. "Here you go." He smiled, he pushed his way back through the crowd away from us.

We sipped the new rum drink, then Hendrix saw someone enter the bar. He took my hand and led me to a hallway, even darker, near another exit. We spilled our drinks.

"What's the matter?" I was now nervous, excited, but nervous.

"I just saw Liz and her mom, they were at the front of the bar. Let's stay here, hopefully, they won't stay long."

"I can't believe out of all the places..."

"What it's the bar by the pool, I knew Liz would come in sooner or later. You know her." He smiled at me, I could tell he liked that she was only a couple of yards away. I could tell he was wishing he got caught with another woman.

We were surrounded by brooms, boxes, cases of beer. I had to calm down, relax, so we started dancing again, all alone and holding each other in this tight little spot with just a bit of light trickling in. He put my hand on his crotch and I started to rub him. He licked and bit my naked shoulders, he kissed my neck and cheek. I continued to play with him, he was getting harder.

"I have an idea."

He put me against the wall, I could feel the music on my back. He fondled my breasts. "I am going to miss these."

"So am I, I wish I was bigger."

"Really? Bigger? A Double-D maybe?"

I giggled, he was still rubbing me. "Mmm, I think I would love that, maybe when I get older my body will fill out more."

"Ha, maybe." He then kissed my neck, then chest, breasts, then bent his knees, he started kissing my belly as he rubbed the fake boobs in his mother's bra. He got lower, pushing his face into my crotch, kissing the lace that was covering me. His hands went on my ass as he pushed his face harder into me, moving around, making me excited.

"Sabrina?"

"Mmm." I was quiet, I didn't want anyone to hear us.

"I want you to imagine I am making love to you."

I opened my eyes, he looked up. "What? No, let's go back to the room, please."

"No, don't worry, it will be fun."

I was thinking it won't be, someone will hear, and what does that even mean? "No please." I moved off the wall, but he stood in front of me, he was so much stronger, he was a good three inches taller than me while I was in his mother's wedges.

He started to kiss my neck as he held me tight. We then kissed and I forgot all about his plan, Liz and the others in the bar. We could barely hear them, barely even hear the music, just feel it. He made me undo his button and zipper to his pants and I played with his cock through the briefs. He was whispering directions to me as I kneaded his hard dick. I then brought his shorts and briefs down to his knees, I stood back up and we kissed again, me grabbing his hard cock.

"First we bring up your dress." He bunched it up in his fingers and I took hold, exposing my legs, my pantyhose, and panties. He started to rub his hard cock against me. "Do you like this?"

"Mmm."

He moved back and bent a little, he positioned his cock under me, under my 'pussy.' He started to move, slightly thrusting, I closed my eyes, I could feel the pressure as he pushed against my tucked 'clit.'

"God this feels great," He said as he held my arms, as he pushed his manhood into me, thrusting against my 'pussy.' "I am going inside of you." He then kissed my lips, "My cock is hard I am starting to fuck you. I am sliding right inside of your pussy." He started moving harder, pushing me more forcibly against the wall. His cock was thrusting under me, I was getting excited, I held onto his neck with one hand, still holding my dress up with the other. "Do you like my cock going inside of you?"

"Mmm, yes." I bit my lip as he thrust some more, as he held and shook my body, kissing my neck and cheek. He kept pushing as I held on, I was banging against the wall, I was enjoying his body almost thrusting into me.

After a couple of minutes, he whispered in my ear. "I am going in deeper, you are so tight. My little virgin is going to cum with me, I am going to get her very pregnant." He laughed.

"Are you? Oh my god, baby, I love this, I am ready to cum."

"Of course you are, you are getting fucked, little girl, you are giving me your virginity." He breathed out as he kept pushing, thrusting. Soon I couldn't take any more, I let go of the dress and held onto his shoulders as I moaned, I held in a scream, I felt his orgasm start just as I came into my panties. He kept pressing his cock into me. Soon his cum was all over me, he was kissing and licking my neck, his cum was dripping down my pantyhose and panties. His hands were now on my ass rubbing the nylon. We held each other tighter, his cock feeling even harder than before, making the wet dress wet. I had to close my eyes, he was shaking me, pushing me more into the wall.

"Ahh," I breathed out, I had to stop moving. I grabbed his face and we kissed. We made out harder, more sloppy against the wall, vibrating with the bass of the music. I was holding him too tight, I was loving the afterglow. Slowly his tongue left my mouth, he pulled up his briefs, his pants, and I rubbed his cum into my dress, pantyhose, and into my crotch, I let my hem fall and smoothed out my dress. I would now have cum on it just like Liz, just like millions of other girls.

"Would you be angry if I said I had sex with Liz in this same spot?"

"Um, really?" I was trying to fix my hair, take it out of my lashes. "No, I wouldn't be angry." I smiled, "Do you have a place back home where you take all of your girls?" I was trying to be cute but I was a little sore, I wanted to rub my crotch but I didn't think it was appropriate.

"I do, but I have never taken two such beautiful New Yorkers like you and Liz, ha." He grinned wide as he laughed, as he kissed me once more. Taking my waist we walked back into the crowded loud bar. On my last night in Florida, I was wearing a dress and it was fantastic, perfect, I would remember it forever.

"What the fuck! Who is this?"

Liz didn't recognize me, she didn't even look at me, she yelled at Hendrix, she pushed him. I got so nervous as I moved closer towards the front door, past the bartender, past the pool, passed the families, past my family's hotel door, and upstairs to his. I waited and hid by the ferns. I closed my eyes, I was a little drunk and still so excited, of course I didn't have a plan.

******

"Mmm, ahhhhh..." I was stretching, I was sort of pushing the roof of Ross's car, then tapping it with my long nails. "That felt so good, I needed that."

Ross was watching me, he had a weird little smile on his face. "Me too. Mmm, are we ready to venture back to Smithville?"

"I think we are." I leaned against him as he put on his seat belt. I licked his lips, I was flirting, I was in quite a sensuous mood all of a sudden.

We had fallen asleep in the car, in the parking lot. It was nice and romantic, me in my new coat and him under me, my arms around him keeping him warm. I dreamt of warmer climates, tropical. I dreamt of a place with no snow, a place where I became myself and met someone who would change my life. And now I feel it was changing once again.

Sometimes in your life, you finish a chapter, you put down your book, you decide to cruise, take in the scenery, and organize your bookshelves instead of reading. You go about your life, you meander. Then someone drops a huge hardcover book into your lap, your hands finger it, beautiful illustrations on the front, blurbs from famous authors and personalities around the world on the back. You start to explore, you take it all in. You start to realize another metamorphosis is coming. Sometimes you know it's happening, but sometimes you don't realize it until later.

Holding Ross, feeling his heartbeat, his breath on my neck, I knew there was going to be a change, a major one, I knew life was picking up speed just like it did when I was eighteen and on vacation in Miami. I knew I was more mature and more ready for changes now. I was more than happy, feeling the huge, heavy metaphorical book on my lap.

"It's still early, can we go to your restaurant?"

He smiled, he kissed me quickly on the lips. "We can, we will be there before ten. Everyone will be glad to see you."

*

Saturday night in Historic Smithville. Nothing like a Saturday night in Middle Village, Astoria, or even Flushing. Queens was full of subways, cabs, Ubers, people going out for the night. Here people stayed in, sat by the fire, rested from shoveling or cooking a big dinner for the family. Main Street was crowded tonight, the week before Christmas, it looked like NO one was home sitting by the fire. The lights of Ruffinos were on, the orange glow of the restaurant showing the interior, showing people, showing life.

We walked into the crowd, lots of clinking, me with my new coat. We waved to our favorite bartender as she made room at the front bar. "Look at this, you two were gone all day. Sabrina your hair is gorgeous." She reached over and played with my ponytail, shaking her own. "Ha, I have something special for YOU."

"Looks like she was missing you." Ross talked over the crowd and I giggled, I was having fun already.

Soon he had something dark in a pint glass, me something red, fancy and looking great in my hand. "Here you are, a cranberry martini, it goes perfectly with your nails."

I smiled and we cheered, soon we were surrounded by Jada and the two husbands. We sang all the Christmas songs that were played, we yelled over all the choruses, I drank every bright red martini Rachel put in front of me.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"What's that?" I kinda yelled in Ross's ear. The beeps' were quite deafening.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Oh, the security system. There is kind of a glitch!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

He went behind the bar and sat in front of a computer as the alarm beeped louder and louder. People were getting nervous, the music was completely drowned out, the conversations completely stopped. I ran behind the bar with him, I looked over his shoulder, I could tell he didn't know what he was doing. I didn't want to mention, that um, I did.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I called into his ear. "Get me a pencil and a piece of paper."

BEEP BEEP BEEP

He looked at me for a beat too long, but then he shook his head and suddenly took off. The beeps sounded louder than before, I could see Rachel, Jada, and the husbands watching me, the quiet reddish-blonde studying the computer screen. Ross returned, handing me the items. I pressed a couple of keys on the keyboard with the eraser part of the pencil, my nails were too long to type.

BEEP BE

The beeping stopped mid-beep. The crowd cheered and I started to giggle.

"What's the password?"

I handed him the paper and pencil, he wrote, I watched, I was having fun, the music was still playing and everyone was watching us. They were watching me with my new ponytail, my new nails, I was the new girl in town wielding a pencil. I looked at the slip and typed the letters into the computer, one character at a time. I asked him more questions than he was ready to answer.

"Done. Next time it beeps it means you are being burgled." I giggled again, Ross kissed me hard, then I got a hug from Rachel. I had to explain I work in IT, I work in security, I used to work for an alarm company years ago, almost every summer, I was very familiar with this security system. I held up the paper with the password then put it into my mouth, I chewed, I swallowed with help from the martini. "Your password is very safe." Ross rubbed my belly and laughed, we were having too much fun.

"Hey is everything okay?" I heard a deep voice cutting through the music, we all turned around. I was still holding my martini glass, Ross's still had his arm around me. "The alarm, is it still acting up?" I looked over the slight crowd. A man was walking over to us, he was holding hands with Sara. "I can take a look if you want."

I felt like I was caught wearing someone else's dress.

***

I was caught wearing someone else's dress one time in Florida.

*

A man with clippers told me I was hiding behind a Cinnamon Fern, next to me was a Royal Fern, and hanging above us in baskets were Boston ones. He handed me a sunflower, I was on my knees, I was waiting for Hendrix, now I was holding a flower.

"That's a Beach Sunflower, smell it, it is wonderful." He smiled, he never asked why I was hiding behind the ferns, he just cut around me. I had leaves on my bare shoulders.

"Thank you, it's very nice." I sniffed again, my nose was yellow. I scrunched it in the black bag, I stood up. I saw Liz. "Shit." I tried not to move, I was hoping she didn't see me, I was hoping she didn't notice the guy with the sheers. She started walking closer, I knelt down again, I was very close to the man's crotch. I would suck him off if I knew it would get Liz off of my scent. I was in his way, he was pushing me with his large hands, but I kept on moving in front of him, trying to stay hidden. It didn't work.

"YOU are the one my boyfriend is seeing on the side?" Liz looked mad, she had one hand on her hip, she was pointing at me with her short coral nail. "What the fuck?"

"No, it is not me miss sorry." I slipped away as the man with the giant scissors distracted her. I ran to the stairs, slightly tripping, I landed against a wall then hid behind more Boston Ferns.

"Sam!" Liz was yelling, I would have to let her see me. I have the seat right next to her on the plane tomorrow, she will ask me a zillion questions either way. I walked out of the ferns. Liz just watched and shook her head. She looked at my feet. "What you can't run in Wedges? What kind of girl are you?"

*

We were on lounge chairs near the closed pool, the lights were off, I had my chin on my soft wet knees, the long white dress covering my legs. I had Liz in front of me and Hendrix in his own lounge to my right.

"I think you should wear this outfit tomorrow on the plane. Then we will be even." Liz kept picking at Hendrix's mom's lace dress, she wasn't as angry as before. While I was hiding in the ferns, Hendrix was not making believe he was fucking her in our spot. In all of our spot.

"Please, don't say that. I'm sorry about this." I thought I was going to cry again, I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

"Oh stop, I'm only kidding, you look great. If it wasn't for that stupid hair color of yours I wouldn't even of known it was you. Nobody has your red, everyone in Florida is blonde."

"Plus I almost told you." Hendrix was drinking something orange, he was loving this little conversation.

"Mmm, plus Mr. Secrecy over here almost spilled everything. Let a man in your panties and he will tell you almost anything. There you go, your first piece of advice from one who knows too much."

We ended up talking and drinking coffee for a while, I felt like the third wheel. I even let Liz see my legs in the hose, I even let her check out the wedges close up but she didn't approve, she was going to buy me pumps once we got back to Queens.

I changed clothes and washed the makeup off of my face in Hendrix's hotel room while they made out on the couch. I walked past them, and out the door, I didn't want to bother them, I really didn't want him to see me without lipstick.

"Hey, Sabrina!"

I turned, the two of them were by the door just as his parents made it home.

"Sabrina, thanks." Hendrix was waving to me, his parents were wondering why this non-descript boy had such a girlie name. "I'll say goodbye to you tomorrow."

The next day Liz made me wear her lingerie under my boy clothes on the plane. I was so nervous, I imagined everyone could see my bra strap, see my shiny nylon ankles. I was so tense thinking I was walking too femme, feeling too female. I was glad the rest of the friends and family were on the other side of the plane. I read my romance novel, I had my legs crossed enjoying the slight liquid feel of the pantyhose.

Every once in a while Liz would reach over and squeeze my thigh. I think it was a warning. "Listen, sister," She whispered just before we landed. "In a couple of weeks, we are heading to the Shore. I need to pick up where I left off last night, ha. You are going to have to find yourself a different boyfriend."

***

It was still snowing outside, I found myself a different boyfriend.

*

The two of them had snow on their shoulders.

"Hey Jim, Sara, what are you two having?" Rachel made more room at the bar, everyone shifted making space for the new couple. My hand started to shake, I had to put down the martini glass.

"Coffee for me, decaf."

"I'll have what Ross is having." He then kissed Rachel on the cheek.

"Okay, baby brother." Rachel smiled at me after she revealed who James was. I looked at her again but she didn't look familiar to me, well at least beyond our meeting here at the restaurant.

I was still feeling so uncomfortable, so exposed. I never spent time with Sara and her new boyfriend, they saw each other on the side. He would never even come to the house, they would always meet somewhere, I liked that they kept me uninvolved with their relationship. I was usually home, dressing in front of my mirror not outside in the world socializing with friends at a crowded local restaurant.

"We heard the alarm, figured I would see if I could do something again." Jim gave Rachel their coats, I tried to hide behind Ross and Jada's husband, I tried to act like it was just another Saturday night.

I felt Ross's arm slide up my back, he moved me in front of him, "Well, surprisingly we had a professional, right here at the bar. And all she needed was a pencil." He kissed the side of my hair.

James smiled, "Of course."

I grinned embarrassingly as the two of them looked at me, as Sara's eyes took in my new hair, my new eyebrows, maybe even the new set of earrings. "A pencil?"

Ross lifted my hand, showing off my longer-than-usual nails. I wiggled them out of a force of habit, sprinkling some magic on the crowd. Sara shook her head, I could tell she didn't approve of the length or color. I could tell she didn't believe in magic.

"So you are beautiful and talented, very nice. What was the problem?" James didn't seem that surprised.

I finally made eye contact, I have spoken to him before of course, he wasn't the one that made me nervous. "Um, I just checked the logs, whenever the power dipped it set off the alarms. It won't go off for that anymore." And I shrugged, I smushed my red lips together, I was being cute and uncomfortable at the same time.

"Ahh, very good, that can happen. When you are ready for a career change you can come work for me, ha."

Sara gave him a look, I could tell she didn't like him talking to me, or calling me beautiful and talented. After a couple of sips of her coffee, she took my arm, and we went into the ladies' room together. I was missing Ross's arm around me, I was missing being surrounded by people instead of darker tile and porcelain, oh, and a strong disapproving glare.

"What's with the hair?"

"Oh, Jada fixed it for me, why you don't like it?" I was looking at her through the mirror, she was focused on the ponytail, I didn't realize it was so high. I was washing my hands, I was trying to act casual but it wasn't working.

"Stop, I didn't say that. It's just, well, it's pretty different and is it your hair? No wig? Since when have you been this adventurous with a style and some color?"

I just shrugged, I didn't want to talk about me."You look nice. I never saw that top before."

"Well, Jim and I went shopping after we watched a couple of movies. Now that you are out, well, out of the closet, maybe you will go shopping with us. You can take your new boyfriend. I can see he can't keep his hands off of you."

"Mmm."

"Maybe you shouldn't let him get so handsy, you know, in front of everybody."

"Mmm."

I started fixing my hair, brushing the tendrils, fluffing the ponytail, I knew she wanted to talk about Ross, but I didn't want to discuss it. I put on more lipstick as she watched, as she waited for something, anything. I never told her when I was presenting female I liked men, though I could tell now, she knew all along. She seemed surprised that I was enjoying myself, that I had a new look that wasn't so easily changed. It was going to be hard reverting back to her husband after the holiday and she knew it. I smiled at her through the mirror, my new darker red looking fantastic, looking sexy enough to have a boyfriend waiting for me to leave lip prints all over him. I was thinking we should leave soon, I was thinking I didn't want to tell her what I had planned in my mind. What I was planning on doing with my new boyfriend's lips and body.

"Don't you think it's a little crazy we are in the ladies' room together, and two men are waiting for us on the other side of this door?"

I quickly looked into her eyes, I didn't know what to say. I felt like I was talking to Liz all those years ago. Sara sometimes didn't seem like she was disapproving of me. I could tell on some level she liked it, it was probably turning her on a little too. Just like it did Liz all those years ago.

"I guess."

"I guess, you gotta be kidding me. C'mon let's go back, I want to see you acting all girlie and sexy with a man that can't keep his hands off of you. You can push your big boobies into him. Ha..." And she giggled all the way through the door and back to the crowd. Of course, Ross immediately grabbed my waist and kissed me, he even slipped in his tongue. I could tell my being with the wife was turning him on a little too. I was wondering if I was the only one who was uncomfortable in this situation, I wanted to be kissing in the snow, not in front of other people.

Soon both Sara and I were on the laps of our men, close to the bar finishing our drinks. It was fun, it was even more crowded and I was starting to relax, but I was also getting a little excited and I could tell, so was Ross. I felt his manhood grow underneath me. I wiggled a couple of times to tease him as I smiled at Jada, I could tell she knew exactly what I was doing.

"So I was thinking," Jada took the two strands surrounding my face, she was twirling them in her fingers. "I ordered some extensions in this wonderful color of yours. Come on in and we will make you even more stunning."

"Okay."

"You know, you are probably the only real redhead in this bar, maybe even the town, ha."

"Can I watch this time?" Ross was asking Jada, she giggled some more.

"You can, I also have something I want to do with these lips." She lightly tapped them as I smiled, I forgot there was Sara and other people around us watching. "I have lots of plans for you, why don't you come in on Wednesday afternoon? I am having the Christmas party that night, so you can come all sexy with perfectly plump lips, ha."

"Okay, I would love that."

Sara watched the whole exchange, I could tell she couldn't believe I was offering to go to a salon and getting invited to a party.

Jada turned towards Sara and James, "You two are coming right?"

"Of course, we can't wait."

"We better go. Ready, baby?" Ross once again kissed my cheek as I wiggled my bottom.

"Oh? Sure whenever you are." And we kissed once again as he squeezed me, I was loving this, loving being the easy girlfriend of the bar owner. I was just wondering where we were going.

"Goodnight." Ross waved to everyone as we headed outside, me, now in my brand new long coat, me with my brand new outlook getting covered in snow.

*

"I don't know why but having Sara and Jim see us together was exciting."

We were in his car a couple of blocks away from the restaurant, we were away from the town, the lights, the little crowd in the orange glow of the bar.

"Really?" I asked, I knew he liked that, I knew he wanted his hands on my red dress. I took off my seat belt, I slid closer, I had my coat wrapped around me tightly. "It is not cheating if your partner knows. So what do you mean exactly?"

And he started to laugh, he put his nose into my neck, under my chin. I felt him kiss, felt his face in my hair. "I don't really know, ha, we could discuss. Would you like to come see my house? I live, right, there." And he pointed, he had his finger aiming at a white house, snow surrounding it, a lampost right in front. "And Rachel and Mike live there." As he pointed to the house fifty feet away. Dark red, front porch light on, just waiting for them to return.

I slid away, I gave him a devious smile. I opened the door and stepped out, I started running in my heels to his house, I slipped, I fell in the snow. I heard his car door open and close, I got up and ran some more. I ran through his gate, to the back of the house, clicking on the dark slate. I hid behind a tree, just like all those years ago in front of beautiful ferns with a man protecting me with his sheers.

"Sabrina?"

I heard him call, I was quiet, I was still, I was loving this but my feet were freezing. I was doing a little dance trying to stay warm.

"Sabrina, I can hear you breathe, I can smell your perfume."

When he got closer I took off again, headed for some far-off trees. I slid some more, I tumbled into another small hill of whiteness. I felt my face was full of melting snow, I looked up, he was hovering, he had a huge smile on his face. He held out his hand but I moved past it and went for his dark crotch, I felt for his manhood, he was so hard. I started to rub as my teeth started to chatter, as my body shivered in my new light pink coat. I loved how my long nails played with him, I loved the contrast of the red and the dark brown.

"You are still excited."

"Baby you are crazy, oh and of course I am." He crouched down and took the snow out of my hair. "Would you like to see my house, or would you like me to bring you some tea right here in this beautiful bed of snow?"

"Um, tea please."

*

"Ross?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think we are in the middle of nowhere?"

He helped me onto his couch, holding my wet coat. I lay down, I stretched, I lifted my wet feet.

"Mentally or physically?"

"Ahh, very good. Let me rephrase, ha. Do you think we are in the middle of nowhere geographically?" And I smiled, I loved that he said that. I loved talking to someone about something other than bills, traffic, and relatives.

He took off my heels and gingerly placed them on the floor right next to the couch. I put my feet up and shook, I wanted him to take care of me, take off my stockings, my feet were soaked but the rest of me was fine.

"Hmm, I think we are in the middle of everywhere." He smiled as he pulled down my pantyhose, his fingers on my waist, my thighs, and my calves. I held my panties, just in case they slipped down. He lay the wet stockings on one of the chairs. I fixed my dress, covering myself a little better. He then sat and started lightly kissing my toes. He watched me as my painted toes grazed his cheeks. Slowly he moved up licking my knees, there was a touch of snow, a little drip of wetness. "Mmm, you taste great, right here in the middle of everywhere."

"I think that is the correct answer. Did you know that I have been to Smithtown before, Port Republic too, I would come to South Jersey when I was younger. I even had jobs, I used to work on the beaches too."

"Did you?"

"Mmm, selling pretzels and ice cream. Oh and installing alarms, ha."

"Really. Too bad we never met, I used to go to the Shore every summer, from a teenager until I got married." He then started kissing the inside of my thighs, my body was shivering. I started to play with his hair as he licked and kissed some more. He made his way up my belly through the thin red dress, he glazed over my breasts, neck, then chin. He was watching me, he was so close, I put my hands on his face, I wanted to remember his features, I wanted to feel the beard growing on his chin and cheeks. Every time I thought he was going to kiss me he would pull back. My heart would beat like crazy then be disappointed. He would get so close, I could feel his breath on my nose, my lips, even my long lashes when he moved higher up. I couldn't take anymore I finally took hold of his hair above his ears with my long fingers, in a tight grip I brought him to my lips. We kissed I let him enter me, I let his hands wander over my breasts.

"You like to tease me."

"Do I?"

"Mmm."

"Well not on purpose."

I let him move back, I gave him that look that I perfected. I learned it from Sara, it was a cross between being angry and suddenly realizing you are in the middle of everything, everywhere. I grabbed his head again and we kissed, harder, his tongue making its way over my teeth, playing with my tongue. I moved my body upwards and we tumbled to the floor, we were now rolling around his rug, his hands all over the rest of my dress and body. My nails scratching his cheeks and chest.

I smiled at him, sliding my hand down to his crotch, I unzipped his pants as he played with the D cups. Soon I had his cock in my hand. "We have been together all day." I moaned then rubbed my lips and nose against him as I kneaded his hard manhood.

"We have. I never had so much fun in my life." He then kissed me hard again as his manhood rolled around my hands, as I tickled and played. "Remember we had a fantastic lunch and were singing with all those people in Philly?"

"Mmm, I do baby."

"It feels like a million years ago." He moved up, he took off his shoes and pants as I started to unbutton his shirt. We were sitting up on our knees, I had his cock in my hands, he had his hands on my waist. We kissed, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, I was enjoying myself too much, I was getting too excited about being with a semi-naked man.

"Remember we even went shopping, I bought my first coat," I remembered, I closed my eyes, my mind racing.

He pulled me down onto him and I slipped down his body.

He had his hands in my hair as I descended onto his hard cock. "Ahh, and you fixed my alarm, you met everyone at the restaurant, you let me rub your body all night. Then you ran away from me."

I pulled the head of his cock out of my mouth, "But I let you catch me." And I took him into my mouth again, he was breathing heavily, he was thrusting his body into my mouth. He slipped out again leaving a thin rope of precum from me to him. "I don't let just anybody catch me." And I sucked some more.

"I'm glad I'm the lucky one." He ran his fingers through my hair again, "God, you feel great, it is incredible that we met, crazy but incredible."

"We would have met sooner or later." Then I turned around, I hovered over his cock as I slid my ass in his face. I felt his lips on me through my dress as I pushed into him, as I took him back into my mouth. I sucked as he rubbed and kissed my ass. Soon I was feeling dizzy, I didn't know what was happening, I was too excited. Ross was grunting and thrusting his hardness into my mouth. I slipped off of him, I couldn't concentrate with him massaging and licking my backside. I put my mouth slowly on his cock again and moved him through my lips. I felt the head hit the back of my throat, I let him out slowly. I did this for so long as he played with my pony, as he pulled and twirled it around his large fingers.

I felt my body vibrate, shiver, I suddenly felt myself start to cum The front of my panties were getting so wet, cum was leaking out of the slit in my flesh panties. I rubbed against his naked side, and stomach, leaving a new trail of wetness on him.

I sat on his legs, bending over, looking at him. "Ross, I need you, I want you to cum for me." He started to pump himself with both hands, he was moving so fast and his cock was brushing against my chin and my tongue. I played, feeling the pre-cum drip down his cock making it even easier to rub. Suddenly he moaned, he grunted even louder and a huge string of cum shot out of his cock. It landed on my eyes, in my hair. I took him into my mouth, he pushed all the way to the back of my throat again as I sucked, felt his jism go down my throat, I swallowed it all. I then pulled off and licked him clean. His fingers playing with my ponytail again. I smiled at him and moved the bit of jism from my cheek and nose, sliding it into my lips with my long red nail.

I swallowed again, I showed him my empty tongue, he was watching, he was smiling. "Mmm, thank you for that, baby." He leaned back, he stretched and I lay on top of him, trying to keep him warm with my slightly smaller body.

I was surprised I was acting so flirty and sexual around him, part of me wasn't ready for that, but the other part thought 'why have I waited so long.' I still tasted him on my lips as we fell asleep on his rug, pushed against the couch. His cum inside me reminded me of the first man I ever had in my mouth, the first time a man made me so excited that I climaxed. The first time a man told me I could never fall in love with him.

***

It was nine years ago, we were near the Jersey Shore.

*

"Come on let's go."

"I'm not wearing these, they are way too big."

Hendrix had his arms folded he was waiting for me, we had work to do. "That was the size you told me you want to be, come on let me see them."

I wouldn't move, I wouldn't leave the mirror.

"Sabrina c'mon, we are gonna be late."

Liz said it would be a great idea to work with Hendrix over the summer, install alarms during the week, serve ice cream on the weekends. Now it was the weekend and I was wearing a green summer dress, short, see-through. I was wearing a Double D-cup bra, a little tape, and falsies pushing up my own breasts, creating a decent-looking cleavage. I wouldn't leave the mirror.

"Just think how big the tips will be with breasts that big."

"I don't know." He then walked into the bedroom, the one I shared with his younger sister and her Bichon Frise. He was suddenly behind me, I watched him through the mirror, his hands went and started fondling the larger breasts. I leaned forward, my red hair finally longer and in my eyes, reaching past my shoulders.

"Wow, these feel incredible, maybe tonight you can visit me. I won't say anything to Liz."

"Hendrix, stop teasin'." He then grabbed my hand, we drove to the beach, I made so much money in tips that weekend, I had so many dates. I made so much money the entire summer, the entire NEXT summer, and the one after that. I loved going to Seaside Heights, Point Pleasant, or Cape May, anywhere there was work, anywhere we could sell ice cream or pretzels. Anywhere I could wear my Double D-cups and a thin flowered flouncy dress. It was wonderful. I hated going back to Middle Village, to my parent's house.

Every summer Hendrix let me take him into my mouth just the once, he would guide me, teach me. The beginning of my visit and that was it. The first moment he saw me in a skirt, in heels, his cock would come out and he would smile. I tried to make it last I knew this was it, I soon realized we were friends and not lovers, but he knew it way before I did.

I would stay with his sister in Jersey but he would end up spending most of June and July commuting between here and Queens, Liz never came to the shore. Every summer we worked hard, we played hard, we became even better friends. He told me what he loved, I told him the same. He told me he loved Liz, he begged me to get her to move to New Jersey with him or anywhere, he wanted to be with her all the time but she was working, she had other boyfriends, she had men. We realized it was never going to happen, but I knew what he liked, I knew his type. I knew he liked the opposite of me. A quiet coffee drinker with a Queens accent, not a trans redhead with Double-D breasts.

***

End of Part 4 & 5

A Sister 'til Christmas 6
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: We have made it through the snow to the final chapter. Of course, it is the most festive... filled with parties and songs, filled with Christmas cocktails and friends, filled with backstories, histories and a little magic... ha...

I hope YOU like it...

***

'Baby, won't you tell me
What am I to do
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Getting nowhere with you'

Sara was brushing her hair, short, dark brown, a little darker at the tips. She wanted a quiet day in front of the television, she wanted someone to make her coffee, someone to do whatever she asked. She was still on vacation, on a break, she wanted to take advantage of the mellowness of the new house, the beautiful view of the fallen snow through the picture window, the warmth of the big blanket on the back of her sectional.

Then the front doorbell rang. She knew her day was going to veer off in a different direction unless she did something about it.

*

Whoosh, whoosh, clink. I had so many outfits in my closet, so many that looked like costumes.

The TV was on, Sara was extra quiet, I had made her dinner, I had made her cappuccino, she was content for a while. I was showing Ross my roses and the inside of my closet, revealing all of my dresses, all my high heels. I couldn't believe she let me bring him into my room again. I couldn't believe I wanted him to pick out a dress for me to wear to Jada's party the next night.

"Do you like this color?" I showed him a gold dress, sparkly, I would never wear it out but I would wear it for him if he liked it.

"I do. I especially love what you have on." I was wearing an orange and white plaid gingham dress, it had puffy sleeves, a tight waist, and a full skirt. I felt like a doll in it. I had on brown cowboy boots with a three-inch heel, and a matching bag over my shoulder, like I was going out shopping or to visit neighbors. He slid his hands over my ass, feeling the smoothness of the dress, my pantyhose, even the padded panties. I turned and he pulled me into him, we kissed. I had my hands around his shoulders, my breasts pushing into him. He ran his fingers over my back, my bra strap. My eyes opened wide, I had the bedroom door open. His tongue was inside of me as I stared at the empty hall, hoping Sara didn't get up from her program, hoping she didn't investigate what her sneaky slutty 'sister' was up to. I wasn't used to this, having a man in my room... in our house, it made me uncomfortable.

"Um, Ross, can I show you the trees in the back, they look so beautiful after the snowfall." I smiled, he kissed me some more. I didn't want him to know I was worried about the wife, I wanted him to think I had options with a man in my room.

"Okay, that will be great."

"You might have to help me, my boots are going to be slippery."

*

I called to Sara, told her we were going outside. We were putting on our coats when she walked in on us, I turned around surprised.

"What are you going outside for?"

"Um, I want to show him our property, show him the pines." I shrugged, I would show him those things besides some other things.

"Are you going to change your boots? You can wear a pair of mine."

I looked down, I had on the only boots I owned, all my other shoes were either pumps or sandals, these made me just a touch taller and they were made for grass and probably horses but not snow. Plus, I definitely wasn't going to exchange these for her Uggs, it would be easier to reach his lips with the extra inches. "No, we'll be quick." I smiled, "We will be right back."

She watched us both suspiciously as we went out the side door. She watched us from the kitchen window as we walked deeper into the backyard. Ross held my hand, we walked slowly. My toes were getting cold right away walking in the icy inches. I was holding my coat tightly around me. We ducked under one of the larger trees, the ground was dry, there were only a few brown leaves by our feet.

We started to kiss again. I could tell Ross liked the idea that Sara was only a few yards away, hidden by trees. I opened his jacket and slipped my hands inside, pulling him tighter to me, my face resting on his shoulder. "Mmm, I could stay like this all day."

"Me too." He ran his fingers through my ponytail, I didn't want to tell him it would be gone tomorrow. I was thinking I would be a completely different 'girl' after leaving Jada's salon the next afternoon. I was also thinking sadly that I might be a completely different person on Christmas day.

I looked up, he was taller than me, even in the higher heels. He was so masculine, so solid, so tall and so hard, I missed him the last couple of days. Sara thought I was talking about him too much, bothering him at work or with phone calls. She told me to take a break and I did. She took a break from James too, she said she didn't mind if we just relaxed, just watched TV or the snow, just getting prepared for the rest of the holidays and the visit from the family. Ross begged me to let him visit, I was very easily swayed.

I kissed the side of his lips. "I have been baking the last couple of days."

"You've been busy, it smelled wonderful in the kitchen."

My pink wool kept me warm as I put my hands on his chest, as I pushed my softer, orange and white body against him. I decided to pull his shirt out of his pants, I giggled, I had the cutest little smile while I fumbled with his flannel. I watched him watch me as I started to undo his pants, the button, the zipper, my hand now on his briefs. I felt I was turning into someone different, something more sexual, more spontaneous.

"I'm sorry it's so cold, and you are so warm." I played with him, my long nails feeling his manhood. "I want to do something. Do you think it will be alright? Do you think Sara will see us?"

He looked back toward the house, He had a wide grin careening across his face, he played with my hair again, he bent and kissed me. "I don't know, but I hope not. Do you want her to see us?"

"No, at least I don't think so. This morning she told me that my voice becomes higher and more feminine when I am with you. She said I sounded like a teenage girl when we were at the restaurant the other night."

He looked at me, he started licking his lips, he was watching mine. "I love your voice. I would like you to leave me messages every night, I want your voice the last thing I hear before I fall to sleep." He kissed me again, his tongue went inside my mouth and I sucked him, he twirled in my mouth, I slowly pulled away.

"You," I touched his lips with my long nail. "Are teasing me again."

"I'm not, I love your voice, I also love your lips." And he kissed me harder, deeper. "Would you believe that I even love your boots?"

"Boobs?"

"Ha, that too."

He opened my coat and grabbed the two of them, both our arms were hidden from view by our respective outer clothing. He rubbed, he fondled, I liked how he was handing me, how he made me squirm and feel. He slid his one hand under my short dress, he slid the other into the front of my pantyhose, playing with me as I played with his hard cock.

He made a face. "You feel, um, nice."

"Do I? I have on a pair of weird panties. Sara gave them to me, an early Christmas gift." I then took my hands and pushed him more into my silicone 'vagina.' I felt his finger slip in, I felt him rub and explore. I gasped. "That's not really me, I'm sorry."

"No? It feels nice. Do you like when I do this?" His fingers pressed hard, his palm pushing against me. I felt him pushing on my 'clit.'

I stopped, I paid attention, "I think I do. Ha." I giggled, then we talked quietly as we fondled each other, me with his cock in my hands and him with my small 'clit' moving with his fingers. I told him about the special panties while his three fingers felt inside of them.

We were rubbing and kissing. I could never explain to him that it wasn't this that made me excited, it was the conversation, the whispers in my ear, the compliments about my hair and dress. Even the memory of us at his restaurant talking to our friends. I wondered if he would ever understand a girl like me, one that worried about her appearance, her mannerisms, even her scent constantly.

"You smell so good, you smell like Christmas morning."

After that it didn't take long until we both started cumming, both of us kissing and giggling, pushing into each other, and trying to stay warm in all this wool. My body started shaking as I tried to hold on to him, tried not to slide down to the leaves, tried not to take him down with me.

I had a handful of cum as I brought it to my lips, as I wiped it all on my waiting tongue. "Mmm, you taste even better today. Like cinnamon." I gave him my wide grin and then licked the rest. I stuck my tongue in his mouth and we shared some. He then put his wet fingers in front of my face, tracing my lips with his sticky digits, giving me a new wet lip gloss. The front of my pantyhose was slightly damp and soon we pushed our bodies together, making me wish we would be frozen and stuck together for the rest of the darkening afternoon.

We heard footsteps in the snow. We held each other's bodies as we turned toward the sound. My dress was hidden by my long coat, but still raised and now stuck into the top of my pantyhose, exposing my front and nylon ass. Ross's pants and briefs slightly dipped below his upper thigh, barely staying up.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

We were quiet, I felt caught, I felt like I was back in Florida as a teen or at my parents' house hiding in the bathroom with a pair of my mother's heels, her underwear, her new scarf, and nail polish.

"Shit. Jada called, she wants you to call her back." Sara was watching as we were still embraced, she was looking at us, annoyed we had to go out among the trees and in the cold to be alone, our coats hiding his returning erection. "She has questions about something, um, Ross you better go, Sabrina, will see you tomorrow at the party."

His pants fell below his knees.

***

"What are you doing?"

Years ago, my mother was holding a weird little hook, metal, looked like a paper clip that lost its shape. She was glaring at me but I was quiet. I was twenty-two, I was too old to be caught slipping into my mother's two-inch heels while wearing one of Liz's dresses, thankfully hiding my mother's panties from view. I was too old to be caught with her red scarf and nail polish in my hands.

"What are you doing with that?"

She made me get changed, she made me clean up the bathroom, she told me she could override the lock with this little piece of metal. She shook it, she held it up like it was the holy grail. It was the nail polish all over the bed, the pillowcases again, she wasn't happy. She asked me a million questions, she made me nervous only because she was so disapproving.

"I'm calling Liz." She called, "She's coming over, get dressed like a man, sometimes you are so ridiculous." An hour later Liz was watching me as I was racing around my room, cleaning, trying to stuff my girl things even deeper into my closet, under books, inside the drop ceiling. She told me to relax, she told me she would figure out something, she laughed at my fumbling and said everything will be fine.

A month later I met a girl, she looked just like Liz, they could have been sisters. Four of us went out for hamburgers, beer, and drives through Queens. It was nice, it was okay, it took my mind off of other things. We would do it again, we would do it all summer. Hendrix couldn't believe I wasn't going to stay with him and his sister that year. He couldn't believe I met someone, a woman. He couldn't believe he would probably never see me or Liz ever again.

***

'Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe'

*

I felt a little uncomfortable, I was under the mistletoe, I think. This party was filled with women, all beautiful, I felt I didn't deserve to be hanging out with them, mingling, giggling. I slipped into the bathroom, the house was so big there were at least five of them, I was in the furthest one, I was going to hide.

My phone buzzed, 'Where are you?'

Sara was looking for me, I didn't even know what to tell her. Every time she walked away from me I felt so alone, I went into panic mode.

'Just washing up I will meet you in the kitchen in five.'

Oh my god, five minutes, why didn't I tell her in six hours? I could get in a nap, mess up my lipstick and put on a less revealing dress. Everyone here had perfect noses, boobs, perfect hips, and incredible lilting voices. Me? I looked so out of place and not curvy enough, I wish I stayed home, or that Ross was here already. I looked more female with a man beside me. Everyone did.

Jada wanted to start her party with just the women from her salon, it was their Christmas get-together, so no men. Well, no men until later, I personally couldn't wait, I was missing Ross, especially since my time as a female was coming to a close. My heart was breaking so I wouldn't dwell on the specifics, not dwell on the end, even though after leaving the salon this morning it was going to be extremely hard to look anything but feminine, just like this beautiful amber feminine bathroom.

"God look at these incredible light fixtures."

I checked how warm my skin looked in the mirror. I opened it up and peeked at Jada's drug options, there were none, just Q-tips, cough drops, a couple of creams, and DayQuil. I took a shot of Dayquil anyway, orange, but it tasted like black licorice. I rubbed some of her expensive lotion on my hands and elbows, then moved back from the mirror. I can't believe I wore this dress, I can't believe I was showing such perfect subtle cleavage. The dress was black and white checked with puffy shoulders and three-quarter sleeves. The hem came to mid-thigh showing off my thick tan pantyhose. I took short breaths because Jada's girls put the tightest corset around me, and even padded up my hips. My ass was twice as wide as usual, my waist so thin in comparison and my breasts looked too big as a result of it.

I was used to being at home, squeezing these silicone breasts in front of my mirror, taking pictures, or trying on outfits, I should have known things would be different with real women around to compare myself to. Jada said I should show off more, she wanted me to become a 'woman' like her, like her friends and co-workers, who were all here. They were flirty, touchy, feely, and fun, I didn't think I had the tenacity to even try to be like them even though it was exactly the way I felt inside my brain.

I moved back. I gazed in the sepia-tinted mirror again, my hair looked quite nice. The extensions were perfect, strawberry blonde and leading down over the forms showing off my pearl earrings and gold dots. It was so long, so red, and hiding something I wanted to be hidden. I moved it out of my eyes, moving closer, even my makeup looked incredible, but of course, it would, I left the salon less than two hours ago. I had longer false lashes, some kind of fillers in my lips and cheeks, some kind of supplements in my belly. I felt and looked wonderful but nervous. I didn't have one hair on my entire body, just the little trimmed patch in my panties, and more redness on top with my perfect thicker eyebrows. I took a deep breath, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth with the white toothbrush on the sink. Shook myself out of this funk and headed into the kitchen.

Both Sara and Rachel were holding drinks, they smiled as I got closer. "Ah, there she is, my checkerboard princess." Sara put out her hand, she pulled me closer. "Sabrina, Rachel says she helped make some of the food at the party, it's from Ruffino's."

"Oh, the food is SO wonderful," I was thinking of the beautiful restaurant, the corner of the bar, I was thinking of the men smiling at me, and another one holding my waist. I took Rachel's hands, they were perfect again, she had long black nails with designs, she was a perfect girl. "God, I love these nails." I held them up, I looked closer, "I wish I had the imagination to get nails like this."

"We can start going to Jada's together. We can get the works, ha. We can try to persuade Sara to come."

I looked at Sara, "Mmm, maybe." I smiled, Rachel was making me feel so warm and welcome but Sara walked away, she made a face. She would never go to a salon, she definitely wouldn't go with me.

*

The party was steamrolling forward without me. I once again, sat alone in a little chair in the kitchen, my print dress clashing with the wallpaper. I had my hands on my thighs, my legs crossed, showing off my black sandals, my six-inch heels. Here I was in the middle of nowhere and there were still so many stunning women.

"Drink?"

"Okay, thank you." One of Jada's friends poured me something dark pink, quite strong. It was okay, I will sit here, look at all the great legs, and spin on this chair. I wasn't paying attention, I was getting dizzy. I was doing the math, I was figuring out how big the kitchen was and how small my kitchen set would look in it.

"Ah found you, hiding in the kitchen, of course." I heard Jada's slight giggle, I looked up.

"Hi, sorry I'm early I am the only guy here at the moment, ha. Sorry if it's weird." It was Ross, he was smiling, he was thinking it was weird. I loved that he said that, the only guy here, I started to feel amazing. I came to an abrupt stop in the revolving chair, but my stomach kept going.

"No, I, um, think it's great. I couldn't wait for you to show up." I stood up, I was probably looking more feminine already. I watched Sara on the other side of the kitchen, she gave me a look, then went back to her coffee. I could tell she liked it better when I was dateless, like everyone else. Hopefully, soon the rest of the men will be here and we can start to assimilate, blend into the background, otherwise I was just going to run into the backyard and hide under the trees, me and Ross, enjoying the party from afar.

"You look spectacular. I never would have guessed checks were my favorite color."

I smiled and gave him my drink. I sort of pushed down the hem, fixed the cute puffy sleeves, wiggled my wider rear end. It was similar to the orange gingham that he loved me in the day before, that is why I agreed to wear it. I was brushing myself off, I didn't know what I was doing but I was getting a compliment, and it made me nervous. I was so glad I didn't wear my gold dress that was hidden in the closet for a reason, a good one, it tended to shed.

Ross handed me back an empty glass, "Sorry." I got distracted.

"Hmm," My eyes were squinted, my dark pink drink totally gone. I moved closer to him, put my long beige nails on his cheeks. "Really."

"I mean normally I don't get distracted, but normally I wouldn't expect such a beautiful woman to be sitting on a revolving chair in the kitchen looking so spectacular." We kissed. I pulled away quickly, I hoped no one saw but everyone did. Good thing Sara was somewhere else.

*

Jada was getting ready for an adventure, she didn't tell us what it was, but she was in and out of the house barking orders at someone outside.

I was glad all the husbands, all the men were finally here. Now we could get lost in this marvelous house, now we could traipse, look at the artwork and make out in the dark corners. There were plenty of them, dark corners, I mean. Now we could have drinks with crazy names, dark, strong, rimmed with sugar, cinnamon, or lime. Now we could cheer, we could sing with the carols playing over the television, playing on little speakers above and below us, now Christmas was finally here.

"Hey, Look at you, look at that hair."

We spun around, we were hiding, we were searching for Jada's speakers, we weren't expecting anyone.

"Hi, James, thanks for noticing." Ross laughed, he was such a card after a couple of drinks.

"Ha, you too of course." He walked over to me, he lightly touched my hair, it was long, longer than it ever was. When I was younger Liz made me grow it out, she wouldn't let me cut it for years until my mother made me, when I started work in the city, right before I met Sara. "It's so long, it's so red. I remember when you used to have this same crazy smile on your face all the time too." He kissed my cheek.

"You do?" I smiled, I didn't realize I was even smiling, I was feeling so festive, so different than at the start of the party. I was so excited being in the company of men.

"I do," He smiled and walked past us, back toward the furthest restroom, my favorite one.

We watched for some reason, we watched the door close, we waited until it was quiet once again, hiding in this hallway surrounded by tinsel.

"I met James at a super bowl party. Right here in this house, must be almost two years ago."

I looked up at Ross, "Oh?"

"Actually I'm going to say everyone here was probably at that party, Jada's friends and co-workers are probably all the same as back then. The only new faces are Sara and of course, you." And he tapped my nose.

I placed my hands on his shoulders, I was just about to lean in, show him I was a great new face.

"Okay! Come on, let's go, the bus is here!" Jada was clapping her hands as James slid by us. I was confused as we took our coats, buttoned up, we headed outside, then got on a minibus. It was so cold, but with my new long coat, it was perfect.

"I remember when you didn't even own a coat." Ross was teasing me.

"Well if we lived in Florida I wouldn't need one."

"Wait are we going to Florida? All right, NOW I'm excited." James was behind us. He seemed pretty excited.

"Maybe we are going to Disney World." I told them, they laughed. "I wish I had some Minnie Mouse ears, ha."

"Here you go." Jada's husband gave out mulled wine in coffee cups instead.

I'm going to guess Sara was the only one with coffee in hers. They gave us an idea of what we were going to do as we drove through town, past the holiday light show, past the children looking up at the tree. We drove by Ruffinos and Jada's shop, we were heading to Pomona.

Jada was clapping some more, "Okay we are almost there. I want to see big smiles." Soon we stopped, right in front of the AtlantiCare Regional Medical Center. We followed her and her husband into the Emergency entrance, we gave out gifts and candy to everyone waiting. I hugged a little boy who was crying. We went upstairs and gave out more gifts and candy, Jada gave flowers to the nurses and candy canes to those on the phones and giving away free information.

I was holding Ross's hand, we were in the back of the crowd, the rest of them were singing and playing with the children and talking to the older men and women sitting on the benches. Almost everyone was chewing on Starbursts and sucking more candy canes. I decided to pull him away, pull him toward the side, we were by ourselves. We walked the halls, we turned into the maternity ward, it was quiet as we handed out the rest of our candy and said hello and sorry to those we interrupted working on a quiet Wednesday night. I was having fun talking to the young mothers, the new parents even the siblings coloring, or on their games or phones.

We walked down the hall. "Hi." We heard a voice, we turned back. I peeked, then walked into a room, it was dark, just the light from the bright hallway seeping in.

"Hi, merry Christmas." I smiled, it was a young girl who was reading a paperback in the dark.

She gave us a tentative smile, "Visiting?"

"Mmm," I felt Ross behind me, "This is Ross, I'm Sabrina."

"Really? So am I? Look." And she showed me her plastic bracelet and I looked, I looked really close, like I was making sure she wasn't lying, like she was wanted for stealing cars or cats.

"Okay, looks like you are who you say you are." I picked up my phone and put it to my lips, "Okay all clear, ha."

She laughed as I checked my coat for more candy canes, more lollipops but we were done. I'm sure Jada and the rest were looking for us. I felt like we have been wandering for ages.

"I love your dress."

I looked down, I held my coat open to show her the checkerboard, show her my new hips. "I didn't want to wear it, but now I kind of love it. I think it is so, so, me."

"It's beautiful, it is so, so, me too, haha." she rubbed her belly. "It goes so well with your coat too." And she reached out, she touched the long pink wool, she felt the brass buttons, she ran her hand over the lining. "Feels so soft, you must love this too rubbing against your dress."

"I do. Would you believe, this is my first coat, ever?"

"Ever?"

"Yup."

"And I helped pick it out." Ross laughed.

"Ooh, I hear some of the others," I bent down and touched her leg, my long nails grazing the blanket. "We better get going. When are you due?"

She took my hand and brought me closer, she put my hand on her large belly.

She looked up, she seemed distant. "Well, they think after Christmas, they said there were complications." She shrugged, she started to cry. Ross and I sat on her bed, I let her cry into my coat. I rubbed her arm, her hair, I started to cry with her. "Please come back to see my baby, Sabrina." And she started crying some more.

"Oh, okay, I will." I felt my cheeks getting wet.

I started feeling sad, I would have stayed here all night if Sara and James didn't walk into the room. "Ready?"

I sniffed, I tried to smile. Was I ready? Ready for what? I think I was suddenly ready for anything, but mostly I wanted to see the 'Other Sabrina's' new baby, that was my goal, that was the only thing I really wanted to do. That was the only sure thing in my future, all I wanted to do before the new year before my life started over again.

I hugged her, I kissed her hair, as Ross stood up, she let him kiss her goodbye. I took off my coat and gave it to her. "You can borrow this, I'll pick it up when I see the baby, okay?"

"Really?"

"Mmm-mm, it will keep you warm right here in your warm room." And I shook my head, the three of us were crying. I was glad Sara went back to the crowd, leaving us alone again with the 'Other Sabrina.'

She picked up the coat and put it against her cheek wiping her face, making me miss her already. "And it smells so nice, is this what you always smell like?"

"It is, now. It's Dior, it's perfect for Christmas." And I smiled as I gave her our phone numbers. "I can't wait to see the baby." I wiggled my fingers, sprinkling her with the magic power from my fingertips. She smiled, my magic power was already working.

*

Everyone was mellow once we got back on the bus. I had a feeling in my chest that I wasn't used to, something, I don't even know what, like I was missing something like I left something back at the hospital, and it wasn't my warm coat.

"Now you have to get another one. More shopping." Sara was behind me, she was tapping my puffy shoulder. She had a look I never saw before, one I couldn't even decipher. I was doubting she had that same feeling I did, inside her.

I was cuddling with Ross, my phone buzzed. 'Would you mind if I stayed over at the house tonight?' I looked, it was from James, I smiled, I showed Ross. I texted back, 'Not at all, have fun.'

Of course, once again my teeth were chattering, I was used to it. Ross took off his coat and put it around us, I drank the rest of my not-so-hot wine, I fell asleep in his arms. When I awoke we were in front of his house. Everyone was getting a ride home, nobody was going to drive after a night of cocktails and Christmas concoctions.

I didn't even look back at Sara and James as we headed off the bus, as we said goodbye to everyone, and I kissed Jada. I hopped off the bus then I went back and hugged her, I wouldn't let her go. "Thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you for this hair." She laughed but I was crying again, I waved to the half-full bus. We waved once again as it drove off fifty feet away and let out Rachel and Mike. We waved to each other and I wiggled my fingers again, more magic, then went into the houses, closing the front doors in sync.

*

Was I really doing this? Was I really standing in front of him, holding up my dress, showing off my nylons? I lifted higher and showed him my panties, the padded hips.

"Wow, this is what was happening under your dress?"

"Mmm, do you like?"

"Heh, I do, I might like it a little too much." He moved closer, we started to kiss, his fingers went to my breasts, he then kissed my neck, between my breasts. "I love this part of you, I think I might like every part of you, can I investigate?" He laughed, his hands went lower, he had my hips and he pulled me closer to his hardness, I had to pull down the dress, I felt him push into me, my belly.

I closed my eyes, I put my arms around his neck, I wanted this, especially after tonight, I was ready to be taken. My heels were high and I still had to stand on my toes to whisper in his ear. "Can we go visit that young girl again?"

"Sure, whatever you want to do. Maybe on Christmas day, we can bring her and the baby a present."

"Ooo, we can, that will be nice. I think you are pretty nice too, you know, for a man." And I gave him the look I have perfected in my mirror, a little flirty, a little mysterious. I let go of him and moved backward. "I want to show you something."

"Okay." He smiled, he watched interested. Then I spun around. I lifted my hair, my new extensions, felt it in my fingers. My checkered dress was showing off my back, barely concealing my bra strap. None of it was me, it was the silicone breast forms. My Christmas present. I had a little black collar hiding the seam. Jada said no one would know, but I knew, I had something hidden below my neck, below my hair, a present from Jada.

"Wow, that's great, can I touch?"

"Mmm-mmm."

Soon I felt his fingers near my cervical spine, just slightly above my shoulder blades. I felt his fingers even through the silicone. I felt him run them over the letters, seven of them, the name of the young girl we met tonight. He kissed my neck, then my cheek, I dropped my hair, hiding the script again, 'Sabrina,' a bluish green, a nice compliment to the red tendrils, and the black and white checkered dress.

I turned looking at him again, I loved the look on his face, he seemed quite infatuated with me, his eyes never left mine.

"I don't really know my way around this house, so I might get a little lost." I stuck out my tongue and ran, ran down a short hallway, ran back making noise in my heels, I turned into the kitchen. I stood on the far side of the kitchen table. I waited for him to appear.

Ross was laughing, his coat was on the floor behind him, he was unbuttoning his shirt, I moved so he wouldn't get any closer. "You love being chased, hmm."

"Not really, but I love being pursued, especially by you. A man who is getting undressed in front of me." When he walked around the table I moved away from him, I kept the distance the same. I kept showing him my tongue, as I tapped the table with my long nails. I looked behind him, "What's that?" He looked and I scooted around him, back out of the kitchen. I went into a dark room, I banged my shin, I stood with my back in a corner. I wiggled my fingers, hopefully, I had an invisible spell or a metamorphosis one, maybe I will turn into a lamp or a Grecian statue.

The dim light went on, Ross had his shoes and shirt off, he was watching me. I made believe I didn't see him. "Um, I think I found you. Do I win?"

***

Years ago a man wanted to see ME.

*

Ring, ring.

"Hi, I want to visit you and Liz this weekend is that all right?" Hendrix didn't understand why we didn't want to see him, he didn't realize we grew up and things had changed. Both Liz and I were married now, we were both older, we both had our own houses, and Liz was now far away in Florida. The only thing the same was our Queens accents.

"No, not a good time. Can't we just talk?" I always wanted to talk, I missed him, I missed those great summers at the beach getting redder than my hair. I didn't want him to see me, I didn't want him to know that I changed so much.

"Sure." But I knew he was disappointed, I knew he missed Liz, I knew he felt he missed his chance at true happiness. "One day," He told me, "I will find you the love of your life, one day, and when I do YOU will have to find one for me."

"Okay, that will be my new goal in life." And we laughed, we talked for hours. I sat in the basement, while Sara sat upstairs in front of her TV, as she sipped her cappuccino, forgetting that there was even someone else breathing inside her house.

***

"Ross, you win."

He pulled back, he smiled, "I did?"

"Would you like to see your prize?"

"Are you going to run away again?"

"I might, but that is the chance you will have to take. One morning, you will think I am next to you in bed, but I might be gone, I might be hiding in Queens, in New York City, not a sleepy little Jersey town."

He smiled, he stepped out of his pants. He watched me as I pulled up my dress showing off my body again, my nylon thighs, my sheer panties, as he answered me. "I will search the city, I will hire a team of private investigators, I will put posters up all over the telephone polls. I will not rest until I find you. You'll see..."

I smiled, I lifted the tight dress over my wider hips. I wanted him to see and feel the silicone pussy again, I wanted him to put his fingers inside of me. I slipped down my pantyhose and panties exposing what was hidden underneath.

"Please don't look for me, I will be back. Say you won't do any of that."

"I can't promise Sabrina, I can't let you leave my life, not when it has finally started to become exciting with you in it.

I watched him reach for my panties, his finger going inside the opening, he started to play with the vagina slit, he started to put his fingers inside, I felt him touch me.

"Huh...'

"Are you okay?"

I am," I started breathing harder, he had two fingers massaging me, his other hand went behind me, playing with more silicone, flesh-colored, he had his fingers outside of my hole. He started to lightly play with me, he was squeezing my front, he was tickling my back, I had to kiss him before I screamed.

I held his hardness as we made out in the quiet apartment, in the slight darkness of his empty room. We stood by the window, no curtains, no blinds, showing off to the imaginary people in the snow looking at the Christmas lights. I wanted them to see a man and a woman making out by the window.

He then slipped his fingers further inside of my front and back, I was being fingered from both ends. I played with the hair on his chest, it was crazy how excited I was. I was on edge the entire month, dressing so sexy was putting me in overdrive constantly, now being with Ross I was ready for the complicated directions to the next level, ready to be taken by a man.

He took his fingers from me as he let me lose the rest of his clothes, soon I was with a man in just briefs. I wanted to enjoy myself, I spun, I held up my hair. I felt Ross bring down my zipper, and felt my dress pool to the floor. He kissed the name of the girl we met tonight, he tasted the blue-green of the ink on my upper back. I then let him rub my ass, kiss my shoulders, play with my breasts. I turned, putting my hands on my hips showing off my long beige nails, beige for Christmas, matching my toes, matching the silicone.

"I love a man in white." I teased as I ran my nails over his chest, his hair below his belly button, barely showing above his briefs. I never felt like this before, I never felt so femme, or even so excited. We locked eyes as I ran my hands over his hard chest again, his hard stomach, his even harder cock that was peeking out of the top of his briefs. I moved my hand down and played with him, feeling him through the cotton. His hands went back onto my breasts, we smiled, we let each other investigate our respective bodies.

I bent down in front of him. "Can I do this?" I asked, I pulled down his briefs, his cock flipped up in front of my lips. I took him inside of me, I sucked a little harder than the other night. I was too excited, I thought I would faint. I kissed the length of his cock, I kissed his balls and thighs then slipped off his briefs. I walked backward and leaned on the large window, my ass smushing the window, showing off even more to the neighbors. He came closer, my pantyhose and panties hovering about my thighs, my corset still tight around me.

He took hold of his large cock and moved closer to me. "Can we try this, can I put it inside of you?"

"I don't know." I slightly opened my legs as he bent and slowly slipped his manhood through the opening of the silicone panties, through the artificial vagina, pushing into my real body. I love how it looked, his cock entering me, disappearing into my slit. He pulled out a little then pushed in once again. We discovered he had to go under me, just like Hendrix did so many years before, he was going to make believe he was fucking me. I wondered if Sara knew a real cock would one day make its way through this hole, one day making me feel wonderful.

His cock pushed inside the slit, grazing my 'clit,' I wanted to see what it looked like, I wanted to watch a man make love to me. I wanted to watch it disappear in my 'pussy.'

"Ahh, Ross, is it okay? do you like this?"

"I do, but I want to be inside the real you, I want to make love to a woman like I have been dreaming about since I first saw you. Since the first time, I saw your picture."

We stopped thrusting, I looked up at him, "Really?"

*

I kicked off my heels. He watched as I brought down my stockings and panties and foam curves. He watched as the flesh-colored one made its way down my legs, past my ankles, and discarded. I hid my little 'clit' as he watched, I then slipped back on my nude pantyhose, I needed them, I wanted to feel silky smooth. I slipped back on my heels and moved closer to him. We kissed as he rubbed my ass, my real ass, my flesh, and blood.

He took off my bra and my breasts popped out, he started to suck and lick. "Can we take this off too? I would love to feel your skin, I want you against me."

"I don't know."

"Please?"

I realized I had to, he had to see me at least this once. He had to see the real me. I took off my little collar, then I pulled the forms over my head, it was tight, it was messing up my hair. I turned, I showed him my back as I put back on the bra, it was too big but I needed it, I needed something that looked like breasts. I felt him come closer, he moved my hair, he kissed between my shoulder blades.

"You have your name on your back too? It's so beautiful, so fancy, I love it."

"Mmm." He made me feel so good as I lifted my hair again, let him investigate the seven-letter word, my name. The little girl's name was on the back of the silicone boobs. "It was Jada's idea, she is so wonderful. She said you would discover it and love it. I can't wait to tell her that she was right. It isn't permanent, it will probably fade in a couple of months. "

"I will remember it being there forever."

He picked me up and brought me over to his bed, he lay on top of me as we made out. We kissed, we cuddled, we moved all over the bed. All the blankets spilled onto the floor. I got up on all fours, I arched my back, he started to rub me again through the stockings. He had my cheeks in his hands, rubbing, feeling the smoothness of the nylon. He kneeled behind me, he started to kiss my backside, he pulled down the pantyhose and started to lick inside of me. I wiggled, I was so ready for him, ready for his manhood, I wanted to feel him.

"Mmm, You taste so good." He started kissing my back, the corset, as he moved his body closer to me, as his hard cock grazed against my thighs and ass. He held onto my waist, I felt his cock right outside my opening, I couldn't wait, I couldn't breathe. I felt the tip, he held it as he rubbed my back some more. Slowly he pushed, I felt every inch as he thrust into me, slowly his cock was disappearing inside of me, not some silicone flesh. I tensed and he stopped, he let me get used to his girth, his manhood. He started pushing again, giving me encouragement, compliments, little rubs, and kisses on my back.

"Oh, my god, Ross you feel so good inside of me." I wanted to tell him that I had never done this before, I was a virgin. I only ever had men in my mouth, this was never an option, I never met anyone I wanted to make love to me before. Soon he started thrusting harder and I felt his balls against my bottom.

"I am all in Sabrina," And he squeezed my ass cheeks, he thrust inside me even deeper.

"Ahh, it feels so good."

He stayed against me, his cock buried. He rubbed my back again, we didn't move.

"Are you ready? Ready for me to make love to you?"

"Yes, god yes, I am so ready." I moaned, my voice was so high, as he started pumping, fucking me in his bed, in his bedroom with no curtains, like we were fucking in the snow. He made me go onto my back, so I spun around, I wanted him back inside of me, I was missing him. I opened my legs, covering my 'clit,' he smiled and aimed his cock once more at my hole. Slowly he went back inside of me.

I screamed as he fucked me for some more, I watched, I watched his cock disappear, it was magic. Finally, I was moaning louder, I was vibrating, I couldn't breathe, and I came all over his belly, my cum all over him. He started to thrust harder.

"Oh my god, Ross you are so deep inside of me."

Then he came, I felt him shoot, I felt his jism. His cock was moving so much easier as he pumped, as he thrust, and grunted. I had my nylon legs around him pulling him in tighter, holding him inside of me. Finally, I grabbed his shoulders, my arm around his neck I drew him into me and we kissed. I didn't want him to stop, I started cumming again, I was lightly moaning into his mouth, as he pumped the rest of his sperm into me.

When he finally slipped out of me, he got a towel and cleaned us up. I got up, put back on my breast forms and one of his t-shirts then watched him put on his briefs, a pajama top. I felt like I was watching a little boy. I smiled as he got dressed, pushed back his hair. He disappeared into the bathroom and came out smelling like underarm deodorant and baby powder.

"You are such a boy," I said in my perfect Queens accent.

"Thank you, I think." and he slipped into the bed with me.

"Mmm, I love how you smell, I also love how you taste." And I licked his lips, then we kissed again, I messed up his perfectly combed hair. We fell asleep in his sloppy bed, less than two days before Christmas, less than two days before everything would change.

*

The next morning, I was at his table, I didn't disappear, I didn't run away. Both of our phones dinged. We got a text. 'Thank you, you two.'

I looked up at Ross, we both sent the same message back, 'Thank you too.'

***

"Why can't you just stay home today, it's Christmas Eve, we always watch those old cartoons, Charlie Brown, Rudolf, Frosty." Sara didn't understand why I wanted to go out. She didn't understand why I needed to see Ross, feel him, have him kiss me hello. "Just cause you are wearing a dress doesn't mean we have to upset tradition."

I called him, he understood, then I went and made cookies. More baking as Sara watched. She had on her white overalls and a Christmas sweater underneath, her Uggs hiding her toes. Me? I was dressed for dancing, dressed for a fancy restaurant, dressed to go out with a man and sit at the corner of the bar. I had a short green dress, nude stockings, and nude five-inch pumps. My nails still beige like my toes. I then snuck into my room and watched myself in my mirror. Just a little walk, just a little primping of my red hair. I put my pocketbook with the long gold chain over my shoulder. I held my phone, I made believe I was talking to Santa, made believe Charlie Brown was lonely this Christmas. I made believe I was talking to Liz.

"Hi, merry Christmas you, ha, yes, it has been a perfect holiday." And I giggled like I used to when she called me, lied when she asked me how I felt, then felt guilty that I never visit her or the kids. "Bye, I miss you, muah." I sniffed my roses, I left my room, went back to celebrate the holiday with my 'sister.'

"What would you like a cappuccino or a latte?"

"Definitely cappuccino, you make the best ones."

I smiled.

1/3 espresso, 1/3 steamed milk, and 1/3 foam. I wiggled my fingers over them like I always do. Placed some chocolate chip cookies on the tray next to my homemade Pirouette ones with the filled mugs. Poured Cognac into little aperitif glasses then sprinkled a little more magic over everything. Christmas Eve the same as it ever was, only now I had on this exquisite dress and long nails. I was lucky that my wife let me lounge around like this, let me cook in the kitchen, let me date a man. I could give her a perfect Christmas Eve, she deserved it.

I walked in, clicking on the wood floor, a big red smile on my face. "Here we go, some snacks to go with our shows."

"Mmm, looks great."

And we watched the television all day, I made her so many cappuccinos, gave her so many pieces of cookies, broken in half, in quarters. She spent some of the time on the phone, talking to James, talking to Jada, her mother, and her sister, talking about the following day.

When it was late, we changed into our red holiday nightgowns with white trim, we watched more TV, I had bourbon on ice, I needed something less sweet, I needed something to help me forget this might be my last night for a while in a nightgown. I immersed myself in the holiday specials, we sang, we laughed, we fell asleep on the couch. Just two 'women' with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads.

*

'Mmm, where did my heart land
In the middle of nowhere
Where are the dreams I planned
In the middle of nowhere'

We were on the Mullica River Bridge, the middle of nowhere, we were driving aimlessly, I didn't want to see Sara or her family on Christmas just yet. Ross and I left Jada's, he stayed the whole time, I was a mess, I was shaking, I didn't understand the big deal. I didn't like when she was angry at me, or disappointed, I didn't like that she was using her family as leverage. I was so nice to her, always, especially yesterday, the day was all about her.

I wanted to apologize, it used to be all about her. But, this morning she was adamant, she was stern, she wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Sam no, just stop. Just go to Jada, she said she will help and get you back to normal."

That's what she said, normal. That word, normal, it made me sad. It made me sad right away. I was wearing my orange dress, the one I originally met Ross in. I thought I looked great, sexy even, but now here was Sara telling me that wearing this orange dress was not normal.

"Okay."

"My mother and sister will be here at two." She looked at me, she was focused. "What time?"

"Two." And I left, got in the car, the first time I have driven since we got to Port Republic, here in the middle of nowhere. I went to Ruffino's and talked to Rachel and Mike, they were getting ready with orders, more food. Then Ross came with me to Jada's house. I felt terrible bothering her on the holiday.

"Oh my god, that dress is amazing." Jada loved my choices, she loved everything I wore, especially if she picked it out. "Orange is perfect to clash with your hair, ha, maybe you should be in green."

I wanted to tell her I was in green last night, I was here to become normal, but normal to Jada, her husband, the women she worked with, or even Ross and I, was a completely different thing than it was to Sara.

*

We saw the sign announcing our little town, Port Republic, New Jersey. To think it was just a place in my past and now I was here, I wanted to stay here with Ross, with Jada, with Rachel. I wanted to visit Ruffinos, wanted to run out amongst the trees, the snow, the paths that led to the middle of everywhere. I realized this was now my town, no more Middle Village, no more Queens, my accent sounded like a local. I could talk and converse and not have to worry that everyone would think I was a townie, an out-of-towner, someone who only visited for the holidays or the summer.

We made one stop before we got back to my house. Just the one.

We had everything we needed to celebrate the holiday. A couple of days before I baked, the day before I cooked, I got all of the liqueur together, the mixers, and all the presents for relatives and friends. Christmas was ready, it was set, it was time to go be involved.

The three of us were now outside, right in the Middle of Nowhere, two different cars were near the lawn, two cars I haven't seen in a while.

I walked behind, I wanted to enter the house last.

"Oh my god, Hendrix? What are you doing here?" Sara's mom was the first to see him, the first to hold out her arms. Ross was in front of me, he was holding the shopping bags, just a couple more packages, flowers, I hid behind him.

"Well, first of all, no one ever calls me that anymore, no one except Ross here even calls me Jimi, ha. Surprisingly I am dating your daughter." And James smiled as he walked over towards Sara, she was leaving the kitchen. "We have been dating for a while."

"Wait, why are you here?" She walked past her mom, her sister, and the others gathered around the coffee table. James took the glasses she was holding. Then she saw me, she stopped, she was shaking her head, she wasn't surprised. She told me later the only thing she was really surprised about was that I didn't make a run for it, didn't hide back in Queens, San Francisco or Walmart. I didn't even try to hide in the trees behind the house.

She turned around, she made everyone focus, "So I guess it's finally time everyone meets our new friends. Mom, Pam, this is Ross." He hugged, he met the family. "And of course, this, is my other sister, Sabrina."

Her sister and her mom looked at me. Her mother walked closer while I was wearing one of Jada's perfect 'Christmas green' dresses. Short, spaghetti straps, hugging my figure, so imperfect for Christmas. I was still wearing my hose and now carrying a brown leather bag, matching my pumps. Jada finally took out my little pearls and traded them for thick golden hoops. I was dressed for the summer, I wasn't dressed for snow in New Jersey. I wasn't even wearing a coat.

"Um, Sabrina, hi. You look beautiful in green." Her mother gave me a hug, I knew she had an idea of who I was, that conversation had come up uncomfortably in the past. I closed my eyes when we hugged again. I opened them, Sara was watching, James had his arm around her, she seemed kind of okay about this new development. She gave me that look that she uses every once in a while, the one where I am completely confused and she knows it.

We heard a louder voice, "Look at this, finally. What, you have no time to come to fucking Florida?" Behind Sara, wiping her hands on a reindeer towel, a huge smile on her face. Someone I was more than surprised to see, though I was guessing it was her kids all over the living room.

Sara's mother took my hands and shook them while watching my darker made-up eyes. "So now we know the Sabrina that the girls used to talk about, ha, I wish we knew all those years ago."

I watched Liz give James, well, Hendrix a hug, I watched her whisper something to Sara, then she turned. Her eyes were squinted, her lips were pursed, she was going to yell at me, she was going to give me a piece of her mind. She was going to ask whose dress I stole. I stood next to Ross, taking his arm. I felt my face get hot, I felt everyone's gaze on me.

She reached out and touched the material of my dress, she was close to my breasts, my real ones, Jada used tape and little filets to give me a nice B or C cup, she wanted me to show off my shoulders, chest and the little tattoo she put under my hair.

"So whose dress are you wearing now?"

I smiled, she didn't think I had any of my own, they were always borrowed. This time she was right. "Um, Jada, my friend that does my hair and makeup, but I have a closet full of my own now.

"Ha, really? You are going to have to show me." She touched my chin, my cheek. "My god, Sabrina, you look fantastic, how 'bout me?"

"You look fantastic too." Then she hugged me, we cried, it had been way too long. I looked over again at Sara and Hendrix, watching us. Liz's husband held my shoulder, then I hugged him too. I met all of the kids, all three of them, all familiar from pictures sent to my phone. We gave out presents, we caught up, we cried some more. Then we sat, I made drinks, Sara, Hendrix, and Ross helped set the table with me, it was turning into a perfect Christmas.

*

After dinner we relaxed, Sara brought in the cookies I made, the little glasses of Bailys, Cognac, and Amaretto. We sat around the table, everyone leaned back, everyone was quite happy and listening to music.

'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Oh, baby, all I want for Christmas is you'

"So things worked out quite well, I see." Liz was rubbing my arm but she was looking at Ross.

"It did, perfectly." He leaned over, he kissed my cheek.

Hendrix leaned into the table, a sneaky smile on his face. "Who would have ever imagined one little phone call from someone could change the direction of your day? Maybe even the direction of your life."

"Ha," Liz laughed, she shook her head. "Who could ever imagine? Well, I could, ha. A surprise call from Hendrix, here, and it led to him meeting Sara, then Sabrina meeting Jada, Rachel, and of course, Ross. No imagination was involved it was completely planned. I know soul mates when I see them, ha."

And we laughed. Personally, I would have never imagined it. It was Liz that re-introduced Sara to James, someone from our past. It was Liz's and James's plan for me to meet Ross, for him to give me a rose, for him to make me a part of his life. Rachel told me later it was really easy to convince Sara. Jada told me it was even easier to convince her to get the silicone panties and breasts.

Sara stood. "Okay enough of this, who is ready for coffee, 'cause I sure am."

"God, me too." Liz laughed.

It turns out everyone was ready for coffee, so I made cappuccinos, I wiggled my fingers over everything.

"Just so you know Sabrina put a little more of her love and magic on this batch of cappuccinos, so they should be amazing."

"Magic?" Ross asked, his eyes following me as I sat next to him, leaning into his arm.

"Of course." Sara handed out the cups, forks, and napkins with Santa on them. "Sabrina always sprinkles magic on everything she makes, she has been doing that for years." She looked at me, "For years. I know, I watch, heh."

I just shrugged, I didn't even think she knew, I didn't like to talk about the magic in my fingers. I held up my hands and wiggled, spraying just a little, my long beige nails, beige for Christmas, and showed everyone my technique. I didn't really think my powers were that strong, but now, maybe it was. The rest of the day was pretty magical.

*

Ring, ring...

Then we got the call, the one I was waiting for, the one I figured wouldn't come until next week when the four of us would hopefully be in Atlantic City for New Year, hitting the casinos, watching a raunchy burlesque show, and then having wild sex in expensive hotel rooms. We would have to drive back, get back to this part of Jersey as soon as possible.

"Okay, be right there."

I went into my room, picked up a rose. A white rose, a perfect gift from Ross. It had some magic of it's own.

We all got in our cars, all eleven of us, we picked up Mike and Rachel borrowing them from their family. We picked up Jada and her husband, a couple of the women from her shop, Justin, and a couple of the guys from Ruffinos. We were a crowd, we were singing, we had candy canes and presents.

I knew where we were heading, up the stairs to the right, through a huge set of doors. We said hi, we wished everyone a merry Christmas, I don't think the staff was ready for a crowd. There were two women outside of the open door, on their phones.

"Hi, can we go in?"

They looked around me, they looked down the hall, they shrugged, they weren't ready for a crowd either.

"Mmm, mmmmm, mmmm mm." She was on the bed, humming, nursing the baby, I walked closer, I watched. Looking up, she had my coat around her shoulders, my perfect long wool pinkish coat. Pink for Christmas. She smiled and made a gesture toward her breasts, her lap, toward her new baby.

I lay the rose next to her as I lightly kissed the top of her hair, looked at her beautiful new child. Then everyone else came into the room. She was quite surprised, she had a huge smile on her face. Everyone got to see the baby, everyone got to take pictures and give out presents. Everyone said goodbye. Some said they would see her again, some would visit. I told her I was going to bring her a white rose every day until she left the hospital.

"Bye, the Other Sabrina." I squinted my eyes, I was teasing.

She smiled, "Bye, um wait, maybe YOU are the Other Sabrina."

And my eyes looked to the white ceiling, a quizzical smushed smile on my face, I glanced over at Ross and he just shrugged. "Mmm, maybe you are right." I went over and kissed her messy brown hair again.

We all laughed, we said goodbye to baby Brian, we went home and had more cappuccinos. Of course, I couldn't sprinkle love and magic on top of them, I was all out. I used it all for baby Brian and Sabrina.

It was worth it, freezing right here in the Middle of Nowhere.

***

'Where does our love lie
Right slap in the middle of nowhere'

The End

***

Thank you All for reading! Happy Holiday and a Beautiful New Year, Love Sabrina...

Daydreaming on Deck (Part 2)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's note... More ticking inside our heroines' head. We find out what she has been up to this last year, we learn a little more of her past...

***

Logan texted, he would be here at two. He was driving. I asked him if I could get dressed up, I had a little black dress I had been dying to wear. He said he couldn't wait to see me in it.

I took a long bath then a short shower. I stood in front of my mirror, my full-length one, the one on my closet door, the one Linda hung up for me, the one that keeps on falling. I posed. I was naked. Well almost, I had on a black bangle bracelet. My 'clit' was tucked back, I had on my D cup breast forms. I was a 'woman' getting ready for her date. I let out the most feminine sigh, the most startling little squeak. I didn't know where it came from. I put on my black corset, I slipped on my black panties, I slid on my sheer to the waist nude pantyhose. I found the most perfect bra, with more black lace, lots of cleavage. I loved going shopping and buying bras. I loved looking through all the styles, telling the salesgirls I was a D-cup, telling them what my 'husbands' favorite color on me was. If they asked I would tell them I was transgender, that was the term Linda wanted me to use, I wanted to be consistent. No one ever asked, I don't think they cared or maybe they just thought I was a woman doing her shopping. Part of me didn't want to ever know what they thought.

"Hi," I would say to the women at the mall, "I love your nails, I love your heels." I would smile, I would get compliments back. They would pick out a dress that was perfect for my new figure, perfect to get my 'husbands' pulse racing. We would giggle together, I would give them a big tip, I would send over muffins and fruit. I would tell my imaginary friends about them and their sales. I wanted to tell the girls in 'Victoria's Secret,' or the older women in the larger department store how much I appreciate them being nice to me, listening as I carried on about nothing. I wanted to take everyone out for drinks, invite them over to my house for coffee, have them meet my perfect 'husband.' Sometimes I wanted to cry.

Sometimes, I felt silly, I felt 'frivolous,' I felt a slight pain under my breasts. I felt Linda was disappointed in me. So I stayed in the car, I put the music on loud. I would cry just a little. I then went back home. I would cry in front of my mirror. She didn't like that I went out dressed, she thought I would draw attention to myself, get in trouble. She never took me out. We never ate dinner out as two women, shopped as two friends, went for a power walk around the lake in shorts and a crop top. She never told her friends about her transgendered husband. She never even told Logan. I did.

I sat at the vanity, I had rollers in my hair, I was using the blow dryer. I had some product in it, my hair always smelled amazing. I was putting on my foundation with an expensive airbrush kit. Linda thought it was too extravagant, too complicated for me. She read me the instructions. She pointed to all the buttons, showed me how to hold it. She was annoyed when she was done, she slammed the door and left me alone. The women at the salon said it was a present, told me to have fun with it. I was satisfied with my brushes and pencils, I was satisfied with my fingers, but I was so happy they were thinking about me. I was happy they had faith. That day I looked in my mirror and cried, Linda made me feel embarrassed, she told me it was too hard for me to understand. I would never be able to use it. I was just a dumb blonde that shouldn't even bother with these things.

That was last summer. I tried not to think of the times I felt uncomfortable, I only wanted good karma surrounding me. I meditated, the mind was a powerful tool. I hummed my favorite song. I put on my long eyelashes, my mascara, penciled around my eyes, then brushed and darkened my eyebrows. I had them waxed and shaped over ten months ago, I tried to go once a week. I was having the hair on my face removed there too. Sometimes they would wax my entire body. They called me Miss, I loved it. They showed me how to do my eye makeup, make my eyes bigger, make them pop. They showed me how to do my lips, how to blend in the colors, how to make them look sexy. One of the customers at the salon said I had perfect blow job lips, and then immediately apologized. I came back an hour later with two bottles of Prosecco. I thanked her for apologizing, I told her I loved my lips. She kissed my cheek and left a red mark.

I smiled into my lighted mirror, it always made me look better. I wished I could carry it around with me, talk to everyone as a reflection. In the mirror my lips did look spectacular, my white teeth were perfect. I had them whitened a year ago, I go every couple of months. I started wearing a retainer, I wanted to fix my slight overbite. The dentist told me it was fine, but I wanted it perfect. I wore it all night while Linda wore her headphones, she didn't even know about it.

I had to shake my head, I felt the rollers on my shoulders, I had to stop daydreaming and get ready. I always did this, I was a dreamer. My teachers in high school all said I had a great imagination, Linda and her friend Helene said I had ADHD. I couldn't help that I took so long to get dressed. Linda was quick, twenty minutes, makeup, hair, and at least four phone calls. She didn't dawdle. Me? It took ages, it took forever, it made me so happy. The girls at the salon told me I didn't need too much makeup to achieve a look I would look great in. They taught me how to look natural, they showed me how to go glam. I like something in between. When I sat in front of the mirror, I sort of spaced out. I imagined I was getting ready for a big party to meet so many people to dance and drink with, and then say goodbye to new friends. I imagined I was going to work and I wanted to do something different with my hair. I imagined I was getting ready to go to bed with my 'husband' to have him make love to me, have him scream out my name as he had the best orgasm of his life. Phew. Doing my makeup and hair was just a small part of my routine. Linda sometimes stood behind me, surprising me, easing me out of my fantasy world. She would laugh and shake her head and tell me to stop talking to myself. I'm sure she was wishing I took up parachute jumping or rock climbing instead of learning to contour my cheeks.

My lips were pink, my top lip was my favorite, I knew how to make it look perfect. I kissed my reflection and she kissed me back. I put on my long press-on nails. Also, pink to match my toenails and lips, I was almost ready.

I slipped on my little black dress. It had thin straps, which covered my bra. The hem came down to the middle of my thighs showing off my perfect legs, my knees my ankles. I had on four-inch opened-toed pumps with a slight platform. I loved platforms, all the height without the huge arch of the foot. I didn't have a problem, posing and walking in heels. The women at the mall would shake their heads when I showed them how easy I could glide in six to even ten-inch heels.

I took my hair out of the rollers, I shook my head, I ran a brush through it. I then put on a big, black and pink chunky necklace, to cover the seam to my forms. My breasts and cleavage looked so real and femme, I was hoping Logan was a breast man, a leg man, a man that was going to be nice to me.

A little Chanel on my knees, ankles, and wrists. I found a perfect clutch, filled with the necessities, hung the little strap around my wrist. I brushed my teeth again, I sprayed some breath freshener. I went to sit on the new porch to look out the window, at Capistrano. I was nervous, my legs were crossed and bouncing. My heel was dangling off of my toe. Every car that passed I lost my breath a little bit, I wasn't used to dating men. I said it out loud, "I'm not used to dating such a good-looking man," I giggled, the anticipation was making my leg bounce even more. My heel fell off.

I realized it was the first time I would be seeing Logan without Merch. The first time we would be together not on my deck. This would technically be our fifth date. I giggled to myself, a high girlie giggle. When we first met, he wasn't looking for me, he was looking for Linda. He didn't believe that I was transgender, he didn't believe I was in my mid-forties either or was the husband of the house. I was six years his junior and the two of us were both married for twenty-two years. We both had two children and we lived a couple of hundred feet apart. We had never met before he had seen me in my dress and heels, even though we both had been living in this town for more than fifteen years.

I would get all dressed up and take my selfie stick to record walking on the deck. I loved the sound of my heels on the wood. I loved the sounds of my bracelets and earrings jingling. I did this for the two to three days that Linda allowed. I loved being outside, fixing my hair. I heard him before I saw him. The first time he saw me he called me a beautiful lady.

He said, "Oh, I'm sorry beautiful lady but my dog wants to visit you."

It was cute, that was his line. His big dog came up the steps to the deck and sniffed my ankles. I bent down and pet his neck, his head. he licked my hands. Logan told me if Merch, his dog liked me then he would like me too. I smiled, he was being so nice. I figured I would tell him I was a male dressed as a female and he would excuse himself and leave. I would give him the option. "Ooh let me go," He said, he ended up leaving, but just so he could feed the dog. He waved to me as I watched him walk back toward his house. I mentioned I would be dressed again in a couple of days if he so happened to come and visit me again. I didn't tell him that I didn't do it as much as I liked. I wanted him to think I had a choice.

Three days later after work, I was recording myself again, lost to the world, in a short red dress and high-heeled sandals. The dog ran up, he was so happy to sniff a familiar ankle. Logan seemed happier to see me too. We had wine, we talked, he laughed at my favorite movie selections, we took pictures, I laughed at his favorite fast-food restaurants. He held my hand to look at my extra-long red nails, I told him I felt very glamourous this morning and giggled. He said he wanted me to scratch his back and I did. We stayed talking for a couple of hours. I felt his hard shoulders and arms. I tickled him, he laughed. I forgot all about Linda. I completely forgot I wasn't a real woman.

But that was then, now we were going out together. In front of other people. People were hopefully going to assume.

I looked at the clock, it was still early, it was almost two. I pulled out my compact and checked my lips. I smiled, I looked so good, I was a beautiful 45-year-old woman. I said that out loud, "I think I'm a beautiful 45-year-old woman, in my own way, maybe from across the room... or across the street" I giggled, I had to remember what the girls from the salon told me or the ladies at the stores in the mall, they were always full of compliments and they made my courage and willpower a little stronger. No one would look at me funny, or weird, no one would think I was anything but female. Especially if I was out with a man.

"Sorry, I will be out with a man," I told my compact. "So I won't be home, forward all my calls."

The third time Logan came to the back deck I was wearing a long red gown. It was my favorite type of outfit, more red, redder, my favorite color too. The front was so low cut, my breasts were completely visible. I looked very slutty, I had on dark red lipstick on my perfect blowjob lips. I had on beige stockings and black four-inch pumps. My hair was brushed so nice and had hairspray on it to keep the style. I had on big black triangle earrings and a thin watch on my wrist. I also had on a big beige floppy hat, it was sunny, it was early. I was taking videos of myself posing. I had my phone on a chair and I was practicing sitting and crossing my legs. Bending to show off my breasts. The seam in full view of my camera. Merch barked and surprised me, I almost peed my panties. Logan asked me to take off my hat, he started playing with my real hair, he was constantly staring down at my chest.

Maybe I should of worn that dress for this date, Logan couldn't stop looking at me. He kept on glancing at my breasts. I was smiling the whole time, I was looking off into the forest behind the deck making believe I didn't know he was checking out the boob situation. My legs were completely out of my dress too. I had a slit up to the top of my thigh. I was constantly rubbing my legs, feeling the nylon, dangling my heels. I was bouncing my legs, feeling and hearing the swish of the nylons. Even my red silk panties would be seen if I shifted the right way. I wore that dress that day on purpose, I knew he was coming over, I knew he would love it and give me his full attention. I now had it all on video, the two of us talking and touching all afternoon.

I was still daydreaming by the window, my other heel fell off as I heard the car pull into the driveway. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop shaking. I put my shoes on and stood by the door. I waited for him to knock, ring the bell.

Ding dong.

I got ready to open, to present myself. What was the big deal we have been together four times already? I opened the door. "Hi." I smiled, just another woman meeting her date.

"Hi, yourself, wow you look incredible in that dress." He was looking at my legs, he handed me flowers. "I'm sorry. I was spacing out a bit."

I smiled, "That's okay I do that all the time. I don't recognize you without the dog." I told him, then smelled the flowers. I invited him in, he was wearing a nice jacket and dress pants. He was in the house and Linda wasn't.

I showed him the old extension on the house, Linda had been discussing it with him. I showed him my room, the artwork on my walls, my stereo system, our wine bottles. I showed him the ceiling fan Linda installed, the wallpaper she put up, the new spices I bought at the market. I then showed him the two empty kids' bedrooms, he told me he had two empty rooms too. He held my hand as we looked at my daughters' drawings on her wall.

"Maybe we should go," I told him, I wanted to sit in his car I wanted to start this date, I didn't want it to start off so sad.

***

He reserved us the best table at La Traviotta, the best view of the gardens in the back, and the best view of the wine cellar. I told him that's one of the things I loved about this place.

"I always wanted a wine cellar," Logan said as the owner brought us over to look at his. There were over four hundred bottles. Logan found a year he liked, once he tasted it we walked back to our table, he pulled out my chair and I sat down. I was having fun already, we ordered the cheese plate.

"I am a sommelier."

Logan looked at me, "What? Really?"

"Mmm-mmm, I went to school in France then Italy, then worked in Monterey, among other places. But it was so far away from our little Southern California town." I smiled, he was paying attention, he was holding my hand. "The last time I was working for almost six months but Linda wanted me to come back, work from home, she said the kids missed me."

"Ah, you loved it?"

"I did, I try not to think about that part of my life. It was very different."

"You are getting more interesting and attractive by the second." He chuckled as he rubbed my arm. "Linda never mentioned that, what is your day job now?" He couldn't imagine a woman like me would be so interesting.

"I'm a video editor and sometimes a producer. I get something, I make something, I'm almost an artist. It doesn't take an awful lot of my time anymore. A couple of days a week. I also work with a couple of restaurants online, I help them pick out their beer and wine lists, I know a little bit of everything." I smiled, I didn't like to talk about myself but he was listening. "What do you do besides take your dog for walks?"

He laughed, he took my other hand. "I look for pretty women to have dinner with me."

"This is technically brunch. Oh and that's not a job."

"Says who? Sometimes it's a lot of work." We laughed it was nice. "I used to be a ‎Financial analyst, now I'm semi-retired. I now do whatever anyone asks me to do."

We ate the cheese and the jalapenos, pine nuts, and honey. We totally devoured the homemade bread. I told him I was thinking about quitting my job, I was part owner, maybe sell my half. I wanted to work in a restaurant or bar again, I wanted to meet people.

"What about Linda, what does she think?"

"She doesn't even listen to me, she thinks all my ideas are silly. Once the kids left the house she was done anyway, she moved on with her life. She ramped up her golf playing, she took on more clients." I shrugged. "But it's okay she's finally enjoying herself. Sometimes I don't think she even needs me. How about you, do you miss being married?"

"I do, I miss mornings the most. I miss waking up with someone." They started to bring more food, we smiled at the help. "I also miss company walking the dog, Natasha, my ex used to come with me. She wanted to keep the dog, so we compromised, I bring him over to where she works to visit."

"Oh, that's nice." I looked at him, he didn't seem that sad. He kept glancing down at my breasts, my hands even my earrings. I could tell he was enjoying this time with me. "You know, I would fight you to the death for the dog." I gave him a fierce look, squinting my eyes.

"Well, I would give him to YOU. He loves when I visit, heh. Then I would get to visit you more often too. But then YOU would have to take him to see Natasha. Sorry."

"I'll work something out." We laughed.

We then had salad, a main course, he let me pick out a Bordeaux, a French wine in an Italian restaurant, to eat with the filet mignon he ordered. I told him a story. "When I was in France, Bordeaux actually, I was working in a field. I wanted to learn how the grapes were picked, selected. I was with two men, they were both so much older than me. Dark from the sun, they were working so hard, they were sweaty, hot, and tired. We sat and had water under a couple of trees, and a little girl suddenly wandered over holding flowers."

"Out of nowhere? Did you ever see her before?"

"No, I was there for about three weeks already and there was no time to investigate the towns at all. The little girl was sniffling, she handed me the flowers. She spoke, but I couldn't understand her, the men told me she wanted to give me a gift because I was so white. She had never seen anyone so white before. She hugged, then kissed my legs, and then ran off. The men called me fantôme or phantom after that."

"That's such a nice story."

"I only saw her one more time, the day I was leaving. Almost a month later. Nobody at the vineyard knew who she was or had seen her around before. She gave me more flowers, she said, 'fleurs pour le joli fantôme.' I hugged her and gave her a bottle of wine, my watch, and a box of raisins. Imagine? it was all I had. I cried when the van I was in drove by her. She was waving to me. I waved back, I still miss her and I don't even know why."

***

We said goodbye to the owner and the staff. They invited us back for a special meal, pairing wines with dinner. They told me it would be nice talking with someone who knew about the wine they served. I took pictures of the wine cellar, artwork, and ephemera surrounding the bar. I wanted to show Linda, to remind her how beautiful this place was. We left, we walked around the neighborhood. Our neighborhood.

I loved listening to the sound of my heels clicking on the sidewalks, passing the people glancing our way, nodding their heads as a greeting. "Thank you." I told him, "for taking me out."

He smiled, he took my hand and we sat on a bench in front of a closed Dry Cleaning store. "Sabrina, I don't know how to tell you this." He put his hand to his face, "I hope you don't get mad at me." I turned toward him, I started to get nervous. I was thinking Linda told him something, he was somehow doing me a favor.

"What?"

"Well, I purposely went to your house. I was talking to Linda at the lumber yard, I have seen her several times since I started my project, you know she seems to know everything about hardware, permits, she's so informed." He looked at me, but I didn't want to talk about her. "She also told me about you, said her husband was a little bored, a little depressed, needed some company. That week I was behind the house on that state land, and I saw a pretty woman in a black dress on the deck. To me she was so beautiful, she was all I could think about. I thought at first it was a mirage, heh, I knew it wasn't Linda. I had to come up with a plan to meet her."

I was watching him, he wanted to meet a woman. I hoped that is how he still thought of me.

His arm went around me as people passed us, we smiled up at them. "Well, actually the dog came up with the plan I just followed, heh. I was surprised when you told me who you were. Pleasantly surprised. I was doing a favor for Linda and talking to a lovely woman at the same time." He lightly tapped my nose. "Two birds, one stone."

I looked at him, he kissed me. It was nice. We kissed again, my mouth opened and our tongues danced. Linda was twelve blocks away and I didn't care.

***

It wasn't that late, we were in front of my house. The lights were off, I didn't realize Linda would still be out.

"I was wondering," I looked over to him, I had my legs crossed, my nails were tickling my thighs. I had his complete attention, I was turning into a flirt. "Would you mind if we went to your house? I would love to see the dog."

He smiled and we drove off, we were at his house in six minutes.

He gave me the tour. Of course, Merch was happy to see me, I had on my Chanel perfume. The dog sniffed my ankles as we had coffee, we had some Baily's, I was enjoying myself. "Logan? Is this a date?"

"I think so, I'm sorry maybe I should have been more specific when I asked, heh."

I watched him pour more coffee, I grinned when he was done, I was enthralled. I was holding my hair out of my face, I liked wearing this dress, these heels, smiling in my pink lipstick. Linda would have never sat and had coffee, dessert, she would be in bed with her headphones. She would make me sleep in my own room if I was in girl mode. She would make me shower twice to get all the perfume off.

"Um, I like that you are this new woman, is it really only a year that you have been out dressing like this?"

I moved closer to him on the couch, I took out my phone. I had never shown these pictures to anyone. I always felt they weren't real, they were just some fairy-tale I imagined. "This is me in Bordeaux and then Paris, about ten years ago." I showed him pictures of me working, "I learned and worked in six different places while I was there. I was very busy."

"Wow, you were always very beautiful, I didn't realize you were working as a woman. Living as a woman."

"I didn't want to leave there. The owners wanted me to stay but the family wanted to know why I wasn't coming home." I shrugged and showed him pictures of me from five, six years ago in Northern California. I wore such a long wig then, darker than my real color. "Linda was mad that I kept on going away for months at a time. She finally made the kids call again, and I missed them. Even though they were both away at college." I showed him more pictures from cafes and small bars that I had helped open or worked in. I considered it my other career in my other fairy-tale life.

"And who is that?" He was pointing to a tall man that had his arms around me.

"That is someone I met in San Francisco. He visited me quite a bit while I worked in Monterey." I showed him more of us together, some of us dancing and even one of us kissing. I missed him. "He's married now and doesn't call me anymore. That was the best two months of my life." I took a deep breath, I never told Linda about my liaisons with men, though there weren't that many.

I put my phone down, he put his arms around me tighter and I moved against him, my hand on his chest. He kissed the top of my head. "I like this, thanks for showing me those pictures. I'm glad I know more about you. Thank you for coming to my house and learning more about me."

He held me a little tighter, I then moved down and put my head on his chest, when I was in France and California I wore a wig, I was glad that I now had my own hair. I felt much more real like this. I was looking at my long nails on his arm, my nylon leg draped over his. He started to caress me. He put his hand under my chin and we kissed again, it was wonderful. It was exactly what I needed. It was exactly what this bored, depressed, lonely 'woman' needed. His one hand went to my breast as the other held me close. I lightly touched his face with my nails, I played with his messy hair. And we just kissed a sloppy kiss, on his chin on his cheek on his lips. Kissing a man was so different, better somehow and it was unplanned, I was getting a little too turned on. I glanced at his crotch, a man hasn't been attracted to me in so long. Very rarely do I even come in contact with one, just to talk, touch, flirt.

He took my hand and placed it on the front of his pants, and I started to rub. He rubbed my breasts and kissed my neck. I made the most girlish sigh when I got the chills running right down my back, my arms filled with goosebumps, my panties were getting tighter. I wanted him. I wanted him to be happy with my femme appearance. I wanted him to be happy he met a new woman.

I broke away from his embrace, I reached down to his zipper. I heard the teeth rattle, I heard my bracelets jingle. I giggled when I put my hand on his briefs. I made him stand up. I pulled down his pants and shorts, his cock was inches in front of me. I started to rub it, his hands started playing with my hair. I kissed his cock lightly, "I like when a man plays with my hair." My hair and his cock rubbed against my face. I stood up and I felt him take in my scent, I kissed his neck.

"You feel so good against me," He whispered.

His cock was getting bigger, harder, he was very impressive. My hands looked so tiny and feminine jerking him off. He had gotten so quiet, we kissed again as I rubbed his dick. I was watching my grip, my long fingers around him, feeling him. Soon he started breathing more irregularly, moaning lightly, I started pumping a little faster. I then played with his balls, pushing his cock with my wrist. I rubbed his hardness against his body, I used to be good at this. I used to be able to take care of a man. I imagined someone was watching from outside the window, just someone passing by, being pleasantly surprised. I would tell them they could get in line, they could be next.

Logan woke me up out of another daydream. "I'm, I'm gonna cum." he announced, I giggled, I'm making a man orgasm. I pushed harder, I then grabbed the top of his cock and caught his sperm in my fingers, it made it easier to maneuver his dick, play with him, which made it easier to rub. I kept on pushing his cum around his manhood, he leaned back and we kissed again harder. I felt his tongue in my mouth, my hair on his face. He was so much bigger than me, taller, I had to inch up. I opened my eyes wide, I started to cum myself, my 'clit' had reached over my tiny panties, had broken out of its tuck. I rubbed on his hip as I still played with his now softening wet cock. I didn't stop looking at him as I moaned into his lips, lightly kissing them until my orgasm subsided. I gave him one more lick of his lips and chin and laid my head down on his chest. He held me tight. I was worn out, a man had made me happy for the first time in years. If someone looked in the front window at us they would think we were husband and wife.

"I looked up at him. "Can I stay and wake up with you in the morning?"

He glowed, he kissed me. My phone rang.

***

End of part 2 of 5

Daydreaming on Deck (Part 3)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's note... More of our story about a quiet, married, older, new transgender woman, a listener, but she never tells anyone about all the conversations she has inside her head... I hope YOU like it...

***

We were a couple of houses away. I could see Linda's car in the driveway.

I wanted to stay with him, I wanted to take more pictures, I was feeling so feminine, it was the type of experience I have been craving. I would come up with something later to tell my wife.

"Can I kiss you goodnight?" He whispered.

I took off my seatbelt I leaned over and he kissed me. A car drove around us, we were taking too long. The driver would tell someone he had seen two teens making out in their car, in the middle of the road. Logan pulled on my hair. We looked at each other. He then ran his fingers through it, making eye contact. He put both hands in my hair, then started to caress my cheeks, my strands in his fingers. He then grabbed another handful of hair from the back of my head and drew me to him again, holding me against his lips. We kissed. I was getting excited all over again. He then let me go, we pulled apart slowly.

"I love your hair and your lips. I want to see both on a pillow on my bed one morning. Hopefully soon."

"Soon." I echoed, I was getting enraptured again but I had to get back to Linda. I had to come up with an excuse anyway, just in case she asked.

We pulled up to the house, I wanted to kiss him again but I had to get out, "Goodnight, and thank you." and slowly made my way to the door. I waved to him and he drove away. I had too much fun tonight, I felt like I didn't deserve it.

***

"Wow, that was a long dinner." Linda got up off the couch, she was ready for bed. "I saw Helene, she told me she saw Logan with a beautiful blonde at that restaurant."

"Did you tell her it was me?"

"Tell her, that my blonde husband was out with a male neighbor, yeah that's what I need spread around our little town."

I shrugged, I didn't care. Years ago she wouldn't tell anyone I was learning and working in France, as a woman. She wouldn't tell anyone I was in Monterey wearing designer dresses, quietly meeting clients for lunch, visiting so many wineries. A woman who was making twice as much money as she was. Now she had her chance, it was her idea, maybe she didn't truly believe it, but she still wouldn't tell anyone her husband was transgender.

***

The next couple of days I dressed up to meet Logan. It was like years ago when I was sneaking around. No one knew how extensive my wardrobe was back then, now it was complete, it was perfect. My body was thin and round and thick in all the right places, I wanted to show off. Last year I promised Linda I would stay on the deck, only a couple of times a week, I wouldn't get too used to it. I wouldn't get too comfortable in my heels or using my long nails. I would just stay in the back, hidden by trees, from people. Things now had to change, I didn't want to be lonely anymore. I had experienced too much, with the women at the salon and the mall, with Logan and Merch. Even with my own progress.

I would see the two of them through the trees, my knees would get weak, my breathing all ragged. They were always surprised by my outfit of the day. I wanted to be a fairy tale, I wanted to be overly feminine and have some fun. I wanted them to see me being a fantasy. Monday I wore a long pale blue ball gown. Long silver earrings, my hair slightly up in the back. I clicked around the wooden deck in my clear plastic heels, taking videos and calling Linda, making sure she wasn't going to be home early. I had already worked, cleaned the house, made dinner, I was ready. I waved when they came in view. I struck a pose when the dog rambled up the steps. I curtseyed and held my chiffon when they got closer.

Logan didn't make fun of me or laugh, he just smiled, dropped the dog's leash, and took me in his arms. We kissed, the trees our only audience. The dog sitting on the bench chewing his birthday bone.

"You look fantastic." He told me, he kissed my neck and slipped his lips down to my breasts. I was thinking were we moving too fast, what was the protocol? I wasn't used to a man's hands on my body.

"So do you." I had my long nails in his hair pushing his face against me. I felt his body against me. "One day can I walk with you and Merch? Can you introduce me to people?"

He looked down at me, he was so tall, he had a sneaky smile on his face. "I can, and I will." His face once again made it down to my breasts, to my stomach, my dress was so full, it had a long slip underneath. The hem came to the ground, even hiding my heels. Logan was squatting his lips millimeters from my 'pussy,' millimeters from the white silk panties hiding it. "Mmm," He said as he nuzzled me, my flat mound, smelling like powder. He looked up at me, holding my hips. "Can I see your legs?"

I smiled, I glowed, no one had ever asked me that before. "Of course, you can." I slowly drew my long dress up, bunching it in my hands, holding it against my body. My ankles, calves, knees, white thighs are now in view.

"Mmm," He kissed my thigh, played with my legs, nuzzled his face against me. He kissed the female mound in my panties, he licked the line of hair hiding in the transparent panties, he sniffed the part of my body right above them, he made me moan. I was shaking as he stood up, I dropped the dress, he sat on a big wooden chair, I fell into his lap. "I wasn't expecting a princess, but now I will always expect the unexpected" He laughed as we kissed, I felt his cock getting hard, felt his body hold me, I was enveloped by his arms. I rotated my ass, feeling his cock swell.

We talked about our date, the restaurant, the cheese plate, and the wine cellar. I told him the music there was perfect, subtle, and romantic. He told me the silverware was ornate and heavy, he told me my eyes looked radiant, my voice soft, subtle, and romantic.

I slipped off him, I got down on my knees. My hands on his thighs. The dog barked, I lost my breath, my heart stopped.

"Good morning."

"Beautiful day out." He told them.

"It is, have a nice day."

I was on my knees leaning against his legs watching the couple holding hands, heading toward the lake. I was glowing. I made him bend down and kiss me. "That was nice. I bet they would have stayed if, well you know." I told him, "I usually never see anyone back there, maybe we can have friends together."

"Maybe? You mean definitely."

I took his cock out, I smelled the musk of his body, I rolled him around my face, my red-painted lips. I put him into my mouth, he slid down so easy. I felt him reach the back of my throat, his hands in my hair again. His hands making me a mess. I moved up and started licking him from the head of his dick to his balls, I kissed him from top to bottom, I licked his hard belly, his hard thighs, his extra hard manhood.

I grabbed his cock with both my hands, loving how he looked gripped with my long red nails. My thick silver bracelets around my wrist, my princess dress enfolding me, making me warm and more excited. "I want you to cum in my mouth." I kissed his cock, I smiled, I licked the head. I licked and licked, then I started pumping, I jerked him off. My tongue right against him, just waiting for him to squirt, shoot, enter me. I rubbed my nylon legs together, feeling the friction, felt myself move in my panties, once again I was getting ready to cum in my panties, two days in a row. I haven't had a man for over five years and now I was on a roll. Now a cock was near my mouth. When was it going to enter my pussy, when was I finally going to lose my virginity?

I started to suck again, I felt myself getting more excited. His hands went into my hair, guiding me on his dick. I was thinking that I wanted to take Logan to visit friends, visit the women in the mall, the salon, have him watch me get my lips done, my hair styled. Even my legs waxed. I wanted him to help me zip up my dresses, take off my corset, hold on to his shoulder so I could slip on my heels. He started to cum, I was daydreaming again. I had a man in my mouth and once again I was drifting off.

"Sabrina, this feels incredible." He was loving this, this would be the best part of his day, his week, his...

"Uhh, " I started to moan, I couldn't breathe again, I was cumming in my panties. How crazy was this, I didn't even have to touch myself, didn't have to push and rub and squeeze. I just had to be near a man, a man I was starting to enjoy, both his company and body.

I cleaned his cock with my tongue, I felt the cum drip down my legs, making my off-white pantyhose slightly sticky. I felt his cum drip down my throat making me more excited, more happy. I tucked him back into his pants in case we were visited by the couple again. I stood in front of him and lifted the dress, exposing my legs, my wet silk panties, I straddled him. My long cotton bodice and sparkly seafoam tulle hovered around his body. We kissed and then I relaxed against him, we would have to do this again. And again.

***

Linda was home, I was all de-glammed. I served her dinner, I thanked her for fixing my closet mirror. Again.

The next day I wore a burgundy Lolita dress. I bought it last Christmas but never wore it, I felt silly, but it looked incredibly sexy on me. Obviously, Logan thought so too, he was hard before he even made it up to the deck. I had him in my mouth and made him cum before we even said hello, before even petting the dog. He didn't want to leave me, looking so young and innocent. We walked the dog together for the first time, but I had to kiss him goodbye, I had to get dinner and drinks ready again for Linda.

After he left I changed into non-gender-specific clothing. I put a meal together. When Linda walked into the kitchen to greet me she asked why I smelled of perfume if Tuesdays weren't one of my regular dressing up days. I just shrugged. "I don't know. I was in the mood to smell nice." I could tell it wasn't a good enough answer. I felt her studying me the entire night. I heard her listening to me talk to myself by my bedroom door.

***

Wednesday morning, Linda wouldn't leave, she was on the phone, complaining about something not working or broken or missing. She kept on pointing to things for me to give her. She finally left but was still on her phone, she told me she would be home early, she told me to make something she liked, for once.

I texted Logan, I had to get dressed and begged him to come early to visit me. He was working but was going to stop by. I told him I had another hot fantasy outfit to show him, I would just have to change it before Linda got home. He was over before I hung up the phone.

I had a cheerleader outfit that I never wore, it was too revealing, too much of nothing. It was a white and cyan short tank top with a little matching skirt. My belly button would be exposed, along with my smooth stomach and hairless arms and shoulders. My body was now so much thinner I would look so cute in something like this, but it was an outfit for the bedroom, not the outside wooden deck. I put on sheer to waist pantyhose, no panties, I was thinking I was an older slutty cheerleader. I tucked myself in and put on a small panty shield, just to keep me in place. I slipped into my five-inch white pumps with straps, I started talking to the woman in the mirror, she was as excited as I was. "This cheerleader doesn't wear sneakers," I told her, acting cute. "She is in charge, she's head cheerleader." I giggled, I was getting a little excited.

I went back to check myself, my makeup, I smiled, I licked my lips, I was finally ready. I was too sexy for a Wednesday mid-morning, but not too sexy for Logan. I flat ironed my hair, making it look so much longer. I had just a touch of makeup and red lipstick once again to match my nails. I grabbed my pom-poms and ran outside to practice my cheers. I wanted to do a Clasp, then a High-V, and end with my signature Touchdown motion. Maybe a handstand to show off my pantyhose and legs, but maybe not.

Once again the dog rested quietly while Logan watched me from the bench. I don't think he was quite ready for this presentation, my moves, my outfit. He didn't move.

"Well?" I asked, my hands on my hips. He was still a little frozen, his mouth was open. I threw my pom-poms at him and ran. I hid from him behind the table, we went back and forth each gaining just a little bit of distance from the other. We laughed, we ran, I was having too much fun. I was making so much noise in my heels. He called the dog and Merch slid around my legs, I was disoriented, I held onto one of the deck chairs, I looked up and suddenly Logan was holding me.

"I win."

He picked me up and held me in his arms, I kissed him. He was so strong, I was so light. Then he walked back over to the bench and I plopped on top of him again. He held my nyloned thigh. Merch jumped up next to us. I had my head on Logan's shoulder, he kissed my cheek, he started to rub my breasts. He went under the tank top, started playing with me in my cute white sports bra, it was tight, he had trouble putting his hands under it. He squeezed and I felt him get hard under me.

"Is this a preview of things to come?" He whispered in my ear, kissing my neck, I rubbed his chest.

"No," I kissed him, his tongue entered my lips, "This is what's happening right now, don't drift away on me."

He laughed as I got on my knees, I pulled him out of his pants, I was great at this now. I sucked his cock once more hoping someone would come by to visit. I played with him again with my long nails. Logan moaned and I wished we had visitors behind me having drinks, maybe another couple looking for a good place to make love, maybe someone lost asking for directions. He came all over my top, I pumped and he shot. I tried to find it all with my fingers and then put it as sexy as I could in my mouth.

"I better change, I can't have Linda seeing me as a high school cheerleader with cum all over my uniform."

"Why not? You can tell her that's who you are now."

I thought he was being facetious, but he seemed quite serious. He took my hand and I sat back down on his lap.

"Maybe you are ready to become a cheerleader, a princess, anything. Maybe you are ready to just become you." He moved my hair out of my face, he put it over my ear, he was looking at me. His fingers traced my lips, my nose, my ears. "If you need me, I'm here. I will do anything for you." I put my arms around him and we kissed.

"I'm too scared, I don't want to say or do anything that will make my kids uncomfortable or Linda angry at me.."

"Okay."

"Unless..." I shook my head, I didn't know what I wanted or needed.

He smiled, we stood up. He rubbed my body, he held us together. He bent and kissed my breasts in the polyester. It was now his turn to get on his knees. His head under my short skirt, his face snug against my midriff, his hands on my ass.

"God, you feel so good, Sabrina. This feels amazing." And he then started to kiss my pubic area, I held on to his head as he kissed and licked. I never expected a man to ever do something like this to me, I was getting nervous, I had to get out of this outfit, I had to look presentable for Linda. "Mmm," He said as his tongue went below my crotch, just grazing the panty liner. "You taste fantastic, mmm." He moaned as he kneaded my ass, he pushed his face more into me. I started to feel light-headed, I messed up his hair, my whole body was gyrating, I was trying to hold on. I started to moan, I was making noise, I started to cum as he pushed his nose and chin and mouth around my soft mound. I felt my panties get wet from his saliva and my orgasm. I held him until I could breathe again. He was still licking and kissing me. I giggled and shook as he stood up, he then picked me up and carried me into my room, my heels grazing the walls, and we fell on the bed.

I was slightly on top of him, he looked very satisfied with this 'woman' in front of him, the skirt was high on her thighs. His hands were now on her face and hair again.

"Maybe, I am ready. Ready for whatever's next." He smiled, we talked for a while, he came up with a plan, just an idea.

I then had to get changed, I let him watch, while I found a more demure outfit. An outfit fit for an afternoon with the wife AND new boyfriend. Something to wear while I was serving drinks.

Something that wouldn't distract her. Mainly because he had something important to discuss with her. Maybe there was someone she could meet.

***

End of Part 3 of 5

Daydreaming on Deck (Part 4)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's note... Part four, and we take a little trip down south, a little trip inside the mind and reminiscing of our heroine... I hope YOU like it...

***

Thursday morning, I woke up late, I waited for Linda to leave. We both had too much to drink with Logan last night. I tried to clear my head, I couldn't wait for the day to begin. I had an appointment.

Brrrring...

I picked up my phone, "Hello?"

"Hi, Sabrina, can I meet you at the salon today, I would like to meet Angela."

Logan knew what my answer would be. "Okay, I can't wait to see you later."

I stood, looking at my sorry reflection, I would feel and look so much better later. What was Linda going to say, with me dressed as a woman, ready to go out to dinner? She already agreed to go, she couldn't cancel now. There was no way I could be with Logan and not look sexy and glamourous, this was the only me he knew. She would now know that we had a completely different relationship than the one she assumed.

I decided I wouldn't worry about this now. It would have to be a surprise for her.

Last night, Linda had a great time, she talked to Logan about her problems at work, her credit cards, her 401K. She got it all out of her system. All the things she tells me and I daydream I drift away. She was so happy complaining, happy with dinner and the crazy drinks I was serving that she didn't mind me leaning into him, almost sitting on his lap. Kissing him before I went to get dessert. She thought it was great that we were getting along so well. She told him I needed a new friend, someone to hang out with. She wanted him to teach me how to drywall, put in an outlet, barbeque.

She was watching me in my short navy dress, stockings, and orange strappy heels. Did she really think we were bonding as men? Did she really expect me to wear denim and flannel? I wanted to wear something short, show off my legs, play with my long hair. I wanted him to find me prettier and more exciting than Linda. That was my plan all week and I think I achieved it.

"Linda, I was wondering if I could take the two of you out to dinner tomorrow. Someplace special, it's in Escondido. About ninety minutes away." He was hopeful, he leaned in, waited for her answer.

"Oh, okay, um what time?" She asked and looked at me, I had taken off my hairband, I was chewing on the end of it.

"Whenever you want. I can pick you up from work if you want, four?"

"Okay sounds great. I will be looking forward to it."

I truly hoped she would have a great time, I hoped she wouldn't focus on me. I hoped she had gotten so used to me in heels she wouldn't even notice anymore.

***

I was in my car, my hair down, slight makeup, wearing tight jeans and a sweater. I was outside of the salon, I brought flowers for the girls, I brought a bottle of wine for Angela, the woman who would work on my hair, the woman I told Logan about. The woman who I have met almost ten months ago. I would look different when I left today, I would feel more like myself. Linda wasn't going to be happy about it. I was nervous, I didn't want to leave the comfort of my car.

Knock, knock.

"Are you coming in honey?"

I jumped, I was daydreaming again. It was Angela. I got out and gave her a hug, my hands filled with presents and a shopping bag with my outfit.

The salon was quiet on Thursday afternoon, the girls were happy for someone to come in, they gathered around me and said hello. They always made me feel so good.

After Linda and I decided to change our lives, I scouted around for someplace to have my hair, nails, and legs done. Took me almost three months to narrow one down. One that was far enough away from the house so they wouldn't know Linda or any of her friends. I made four appointments before I actually walked through the door. I would cancel at the last minute, I would cancel while still in the parking lot. At night, I put cash in envelopes, dropped them in the mailbox with my name, and said I was sorry, I just couldn't do it. The fifth time one of the girls was outside the back of the shop, leaning against the building, she watched me park. I saw her walk over, I swallowed, I was going to leave again but now she was in front of me, in front of the car.

"Sabrina?

I opened the window a little more. "Mmm-mmm."

She put her hand through the little bit of opening I made. She took my hand. "I'm Angela, are you coming in today?"

"Mmm-mmm."

I was on the verge of tears. She helped me out, she held onto my arm, I wouldn't be able to run away. We walked into the store. She personally introduced me to everyone in the salon, even two of the customers. She took me to her big styling chair. I sat, I was nervous. She sat on a stool next to me. A younger girl brought over two glasses of wine and I smiled. Angela touched my hair, it was a wig, expensive but still a wig.

"Are we losing this today?"

"Mmm-mmm."

"Can I see what we have to work with?"

"Mmm-mmm."

I looked around, there was only one stylist and one older woman in this part of the salon, ignoring us. I took off my sunglasses, I took hold of my hair, I took off the wig. The long light blonde wig I always wore. Angela stood up and put her hands in my hair, messing it up, pulling it a little, checking in the mirror.

"Wonderful, it's so long, I am going to have some fun with this." She smiled at me in the mirror. She styled, she helped me with makeup, she pierced my ears. We made more appointments. Angela and two of the other girls walked me to the car.

Angela kissed my cheek, "Next time call when you are here I will come and get you."

They waved as I left, I pulled over two blocks away and cried. They were so nice, I was crazy for being so nervous. I should have saved all the nervousness for when I showed Linda my new look but surprisingly she didn't care, she told me I could wear a hat. A big one. The only thing she didn't like were the earrings.

***

Here I was, more than eight months later. In my favorite chair, with a bunch of women who knew my name, my size, my coloring.

"Angela, I'm ready for something new. Something a little drastic."

She stood behind me, looking in the mirror, smiling. She would never know how happy she made me months ago, how happy she was making me right now with her hands in my hair. But soon I would tell her. First I showed her a picture of me in my white dress in Bordeaux, France, years ago. I was so heavy, my wig was always a mess. My dress was an off-the-shoulder, peasant dress, that came down below my knees. This was what the other women who worked at the vineyards wore, I was just another one. I had on sandals with a chunky heel, the others wore sneakers or flip flops, I needed to wear heels.

"Would you believe that was me almost ten years ago?"

"I would honey, but things change, you are more beautiful, more confident now. You have a nicer figure and bigger boobs too." She laughed and played with my hair. "Now what are we doing?"

"Anything, whatever you think. I trust you. I just have to look good in that white peasant dress, It's in my bag. I am wearing it tonight."

"It's going to be a little big on your tiny body."

"I know, that's the look I'm going for."

***

I was in front of the mirror, my mouth was open, my hair looked incredible. It was full of curls and was a little darker, fuller, and shinier. My big golden hoops were peering through it. Angela added some extensions making it thicker and a couple of inches longer. Another one of the girls gave me nail tips, dark red, long, and now a part of me. No more press-ons to get lost when I played with my hair or adjusted my bra. They matched my toes and looked so feminine. They also thinned and darkened my eyebrows and plumped up my lips. The last thing Angela wanted to do was give me eyelash extensions. I kept on putting it off, it was too permanent, lasted too long and they would be too noticeable as a male. But she kept on telling me to stop and accept the fact that I was almost all female now. She told me it was on the house but then I would have to prance around the shop to show everyone how great I looked. I laughed, closed my eyes, and let her get on with it.

***

When she was done she joked that I could now wake up glamourous on my lover's pillow, and then, a man walked in.

"Oh I'm sorry, the woman up front told me Sabrina was here." Logan was looking at us, teasing. "She's about this high, probably not paying attention."

"Ha, yes we know that one," Angela laughed, "I'm sure we could find her for you." She then smiled at me in the reflection of the salon mirror. "Well, am I going to get an introduction?"

I stood up and took the leopard cape off of me. I was all in white. My old white dress, which Angela tied with a bow and a clip around my waist to make it tighter. Making the top more fitted and the dress part more full and shorter. The hem reached right at my calves showing off my white stockings, my white crotchless pantyhose with a pale blue line above the fake garter. I had on pale blue four-inch pumps. I had on no bra, the girls wouldn't let me wear the strapless one I had brought.

In France I never used a bra, I had no breasts and no one seemed to care, they called me poule mouillée. They hardly ever used my name, but they weren't mean, they treated me with respect. I had shown them so much, I had given as much as I had gotten. I taught them about music, read them some books, taught them some English, and showed them how to make buffalo wings, mojitos, and small talk. Life was hard, it was dirty, but it was fine. We had fun and I drank so much great wine.

Logan was watching me. I adjusted the top of the dress, it was off the shoulder with material just covering my breasts. My silicone forms were glued to my body, they were a half size bigger than my favorite D-cups. I wouldn't be showing any nipples during dinner and I would still show off my perfect shoulders.

I needed to wear this ragged white garment, I needed to put this ghost, this phantom to rest. I needed to show Linda and everyone else how much I had changed. I was a completely different 'woman' than the last time I wore this dress when I walked off the plane from France. She picked me up at the airport, she made me change in the backseat of the car. I was a male by the time I got on the highway.

Logan looked quite surprised as I spun around toward him. "Wow, you look sensational." He walked up to me and kissed me, he held my long hair.

"Everybody!" Angela called to the other women in the shop. They filled the room. "Sabrina is going to introduce us to her friend." She smiled a wicked smile when she said, friend. "Come on."

I looked around, there were now eleven of us in the back room of the salon. So many colors, so many accents, I had known them all so long. I wasn't nervous, or shy around them, they were my friends. They were nice to me, they always asked how I was and I was always happy to see them.

"Everybody, I would like you to meet Logan, we are kind of dating," I told them and they smiled. They told him their names and kissed his cheek, he was quite surprised we were so popular.

Angela of course wanted to know more. "And what does kind of dating mean?"

"Oh, you know," I said, being coy. "Okay thank you, everyone, I must be going now. I have a dinner appointment." I winked, I gave Angela the wine I brought so she could share it with her other customers. She handed me a white pocketbook filled with goodies, and we said goodbye and made lunch plans. Angela wanted to know more, much more, she wanted to be filled in on everything, she was so happy and quite surprised I was going out with someone.

***

I left my car in the salon's parking lot as we walked to his, out front, I heard a bark, Merch was in the car. "I have to take him with us, I'm sorry." Logan smiled.

"Sorry? I get to put my hands all over someone who loves my nails." I showed Logan my longer than usual red nails and he laughed.

"Okay, hop in."

We were getting ready, he drove a couple of blocks, "Sabrina can I ask you something, you might think I'm a little weird."

"Um... maybe," He pulled over.

"There is one thing I love that women do." I looked at him, this was it, this was probably why his wife left him, why he has been alone the last year. "I love when women put that brush on their face, I don't know, doing their makeup? I don't know what they do but I love watching."

I opened my bag and pulled out a blush brush, "Like this?" He smiled, I took out my compact, I rubbed the brush over my cheeks, my forehead, my chin. Logan and Merch just watched me. I pulled out a bigger one, my powder brush. Around my eyes, my cheeks again, I ignored him, I looked in my mirror. I kissed my image and then put everything back into my bag. Checked my hair in the visor mirror, I was making believe, they weren't watching me, I turned around to look at the two of them. "Are we going?"

He was silent he was still studying me, a huge smile on his face, a huge hard-on in his pants. I could tell he enjoyed that little show immensely. "Um, yeah, sorry. Let's get Linda."

***

"Please don't tell me, that's YOUR hair." Linda was looking at me, my hair of course was long, darker, and curly.

"Why, what's the matter?"

Linda was angry at me already, she hated my hair, she hated the dress, she called me ratty. "I know this isn't one of your dress-up nights. Didn't you just do this yesterday?"

"I did, I figured we were going to go out..." I was going off-plan, I didn't think she would be this pissed in front of Logan.

"What, now you are always going to go out as a woman, what to every restaurant now, what the fuck. And why are your boobs so big? Ahh, I'm sitting in the front." Linda hopped in the passenger seat, she slammed the door, I was going to sit in the back anyway. "I don't want to look at you."

I wanted her to talk to Logan during the ride anyway, not the back of our heads, and especially not at me. I was hoping she would forget I was even back here with the quiet dog, I think she was making him nervous too. It was going to be a long ride south.

I pet the dog, I read my book, I let them converse. I only looked up when I heard my name. "Sabrina? Why would you fucking curl your hair? Why would you dye it now?" Linda turned around, she was studying me. "You are not a teenager."

I thought it looked so nice, it felt wonderful. I held onto the dog for some strength, I was silent, I didn't like when she got like this. Usually, she only cursed over the phone, never at me or the kids. "Angela said it looked nice."

"Angela? You should have asked ME first before you did something so drastic. How long does this last?" She went back to looking out the front, ignoring me again. I caught Logan's eye in the mirror. I was hoping everything would be fine, I was hoping this wasn't a disastrous plan. I was thinking wait until she finds out my eyelashes are longer, my ears were pierced again, and my lips were more full. It wasn't just makeup. Wait until she hears I had botox injections in my forehead and around my eyes, she is going to be livid, I will need to hold on to the dog again when she finds out.

The rest of the drive she was quieter, we went along the water, it kept her attention. The only things she asked me were, who sang this song, who was that guy in that movie, what is the state sales tax, what liquor goes into a daiquiri? I was sometimes her Google, even though she said I was a dumb blonde and I didn't know anything. She told me I was full of useless information. I only knew what I wanted to know. I wished she would stop calling me names and start treating me like an adult, an adult woman. She had promised she would last year, I promised to give her support in whatever she did, though I knew mine was asking an awful lot more.

We passed the sign for Escondido. "Almost there." Logan looked in the mirror again, he smiled as his eyebrows went up. I'm sure he's surprised that Linda never asked any questions about where we were going. I was also wondering if he was wishing he was with her instead of me.

***

"Over here!" We heard someone call and the dog ran out of the car door. He was licking the woman on the face near a beautiful open-air restaurant. "Merch I missed you."

The three of us got closer, it was my first time meeting Natasha, Logan's ex-wife. They kissed, they seemed quite happy to see each other. He introduced her to Linda, but they said they had met before. I was standing behind Logan, I was nervous again. He took my arm and brought me closer to Natasha, she actually hugged me. "You are so beautiful, and I just love your hair." She looked at me, her fingers playing with the ends of my strands. I didn't want to look at Linda, I didn't want her to give me another unapproving face.

A man walked out, shook all of our hands, He was quite happy to see us too. "Hi, welcome to 'La Buena Vida'" It was Ricardo, Natasha's new husband. "Come, I will show you around, I will show you our little wine selection." He laughed and winked at me, I like that I was being singled out. I also liked that Linda was a little distracted, she hung back and talked to Natasha while the three of us entered the restaurant. We passed by customers out front under a tent, all in various stages of dinner. I smiled and they all smiled back.

"I always wanted a restaurant of my own," Natasha told us as we sat on the side, looking at the desert. Watching the sunset. "Something, beautiful, even sexy. Something that smells like heaven."

Merch sat on my feet, under my chair. I was surprised he would rather sit with me than the ex. I pet his head to say thank you. I was the only one given a wine list, it was handwritten. I looked up at them, Ricardo spoke to me. "We are hoping you approve of our stock. It is mostly Californian wines, but some Spanish, couple very interesting." He smiled, Linda was looking at me, I could tell she didn't know that Logan had told them about me. He told them everything, even about our little dalliances on the back deck. They knew we had been intimate and they were probably surprised we weren't sitting next to each other, Linda was between us, physically and metaphorically.

I looked over the list, it was quite extensive for such a small place. They let me pick out a Malbec from Argentina and soon we were toasting in Spanish and eating roasted vegetables and sausage.

Linda asked the couple how they met. "Well, we knew of each other for over twenty-five years. Ricardo is my Uncles stepson." She smiled at us. She must love to tell this story. "We fell in love when we were younger, but my father didn't like the idea I was dating him. He didn't approve at all, ha."

Ricardo laughed with her and held her hand, "He didn't think she should be dating her cousin. Her handsome older cousin."

"So we drifted apart, and I met Logan." She shrugged, we drank more wine. we laughed.

It was Logan's turn to hold Natasha's hand, "I knew you two were in love, it was that look you gave each other, I always knew." He had a sad smile on his face, then he looked over at me, past Linda. She gave me a weird glance.

Thank god Natasha spoke again. "What do you do? You meet your soul mate, it just happens. It's never planned and it's always at the most inappropriate time." She shrugged again and looked at Logan. "But we had two wonderful kids, so many wonderful loving pets, it, um, where's Merch."

"Oh," I said slightly startled, "He's right here." I pat his head, he was looking at me, his tongue out.

Natasha laughed, "Seems like you are replacing me, you are becoming the popular one up there in Capistrano."

I felt a little uncomfortable, I was never the popular one. I was hoping Linda wasn't going to ask a follow-up question, so I spoke, "This is a beautiful location, fantastic view, a perfect place to drink wine and talk." I giggled, I was nervous.

"Thank you, it is." Ricardo watched as a man walked over with his guitar, he said hello and talked to us, then he moved on into the restaurant. "That's Raymond, our entertainment. Does anyone else play guitar?"

"Sabrina does," Linda told them. Natasha and Ricardo were looking at me, I was playing with my wine glass.

"I also play piano, I taught both my kids and the neighbors' kids."

Natasha picked up her glass and we clinked, "It is important to teach children and to bring more music into this world," She laughed, we all laughed with her.

Ricardo stood and he helped the staff with more food, we ordered more wine. They poured. "So Sabrina, what do you think of this one?" He held the wine glass up. " It is grown and bottled right near here in Ramona."

I held it up to the light. "Mmm, the color looks perfect." Then I sniffed, I put almost my whole face into the large glass, I smiled, I was loving having an audience watch something I was great at. There weren't that many things where I was an expert, unlike Linda, who knew pretty much everything.

I tasted, just a sip, swirled it around my tongue, my cheeks. I sipped again, "Mmm, strong sense of black and blue fruit flavors, a very velvety mouthfeel." I took another sip, closed my eyes. I felt my long lashes flutter, "A nice long and rich finish of, mmm, vanilla maybe mocha, mmm some spices, baked apple spices. Ha," I started to giggle, I put my fingers to my lips, they were all paying attention to me, I definitely wasn't used to this, with Linda's friends I was usually put at the end of the table, sometimes with the children. I was used to it, I was never the priority up in Capistrano. "I'm sorry, it's a wonderful Cabernet, we should be enjoying it not studying it tonight."

"No," Natasha laughed, "It's good to know, to study, it makes the experience better. The more we know about food, wine, life, the better." She winked at me, we all clinked glasses and she kissed Ricardo, they were in love, they were enjoying themselves, just like us.

After dinner, Logan was drinking water, he was going to be driving back soon, and then Natasha asked me about my transition. I pet the dog a little more, he was my rock. I wasn't prepared for that question, Linda knew I was seeing a therapist but she didn't know I started on hormones. I hoped she wouldn't discover it now, here, I had a bigger mouth after a couple of glasses of wine.

"Sabrina is not transitioning." Linda looked at me, then at Natasha, "Sabrina is a regular, run-of-the-mill crossdresser." She got a little loud, a couple of the other customers turned around. She was embarrassing me.

I smiled, "We don't have to talk about me, we..."

Linda stood up, her chair fell backward, "Admit it, go on just admit you are a crossdresser, you sit in front of your fuckin' mirror jerking off and talking to yourself. I know, I have been living with you for over twenty years." She fixed her chair and sat down hard, then drank the rest of her wine. I excused myself and jogged into the ladies' room.

There was a knock, it was Logan, "Sabrina, are you okay?" I heard people talking, I had my hands on my face, I didn't want to be coddled, I just needed a little bit of time by myself. I heard Linda. She called me by my male name. I wouldn't answer.

"Just open up. We better leave I had too much to drink."

I didn't want to go, I put water on my face, I stood in front of the mirror. I looked terrible, there goes my theory that I look better in front of one. Hopefully, I look better in real life, but real life suddenly sucks.

Two weeks before I met Logan, Linda and I went out with her work friends to a German restaurant. I sat at the end, six people away from Linda. She never sat next to me when we went out, I think on some level she was disappointed in me. They got into a discussion about the answering machines at work, the phone company, the expense, then it escalated. They were soon cursing and laughing and hitting the table. I was looking at the paintings, the steins, I got up to wash my hands.

When I left the restroom I walked passed the bar, I noticed all these little bottles filled with brightly colored liquids. I told the bartender I was just looking, there was also a man at the end of the bar going through a book, the reservations list. "Excuse me," He called. "Would you like to try something?"

"Oh, no thanks, I'm just looking."

"Come on try something, from my hometown." He did have a thick Germanic accent. "Do you not drink alcohol?"

I smiled, "I drink lots of alcohol."

"Good." Soon we had two little glasses in front of us, with a clear liquid. "This is Bauer’s Obstler, a schnapps distilled from apples and pears."

I tried it, "It's wonderful, not too sweet, and very strong." He then poured another, darker, heavier scent.

"This one is Kräuterlikör. Prost." He held up his glass and we clinked.

"This is fantastic, a lot of spice, feels great on the tongue. Where are you from?"

He finished his drink and smiled. "Ridgewood, Queens."

I said goodbye and vowed I would come and sit at the end of the bar with him the next time I came in. We would talk about New York City. I went back to the main room, six feet away. Everyone was gone. The workers were cleaning up.

I decided to walk home, which took about an hour and a half. Linda heard me walking into the hall, she was in bed, it was late. She called to me "Check the doors before you go to bed." She didn't miss me, she probably didn't even know I was missing, I felt like she was disappointed I came back.

***

I had to walk out of the restroom, I looked over and Natasha was waiting for me by the side, "Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry, let's get away from them, Ricardo will keep them busy. Let me show you something."

We walked to the back of the restaurant, she showed me pictures of her and Ricardo's time together in Mexico, Spain, Argentina. She showed me all the things she found on her travels. "All these pictures are from the last um, sixteen months, it looks like a lifetime." She smiled at me, I felt a little better. She showed me more pictures, older ones. One with her kids and her ex-husband. She put her finger on his image as she spoke. "Logan was an angel when I told him about Ricardo. We cried for days, it was hard for us." She looked at the rest of the pictures on the walls, I followed. "I will never forget how he made me feel like it wasn't my fault, it was fate." I hugged her, we moved out of the way of other customers, we started to cry.

She shook her head, wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She took both of my hands. "On Saturday I got you an interview at the winery in Ramona. It is just a formality, they just want to talk."

"Really about what?"

"Well about working there, Logan says you are ready to move on, maybe even leave Capistrano, leave, well you will have to decide. The winery is another twenty minutes south. It's actually closer to where we live. There are also other places interested." She smiled, she grabbed my arm. We walked around the restaurant, she introduced me to a couple of her favorite customers. I saw Linda watching me, I saw her disapproving. She didn't look that sorry anymore.

We ended up sitting with an older couple. Natasha introduced us, "Maryanne, Raoul, this is Sabrina she is from Capistrano, where I used to live."

"Ooh we love it there, we have friends near Mission Bell Park, we go visit a couple of times a year." I smiled, I held their hands we had some tequila together. They laughed when I asked for extra salt and drank the whole shot.

"I'm sorry I drink like a girl," I said and they laughed.

"Sabrina might be working at the winery," Natasha told them.

"Not in Ramona?"

"Of course."

"We love it there, you will enjoy it, tell Marco we said hello. Tell him to give you a raise already." They winked at me as we got up to leave. They made me take the bottle of tequila.

Natasha and I then went outside to the front of the restaurant, we took the stairs to a lower level. She opened the door, "This is going to be our wine cellar, we have been waiting for someone to help us, you have stepped into our lives at the most perfect moment." She held my hand as I looked around, the temperature was perfect, it was dark and it was as big as the restaurant. "Fate once again."

"Fate, serendipity, or maybe even just a daydream."

We walked through another door. A little room, a couple of windows, a bed, desk, chair, and more wine. "If you want you could stay here, we only use it when we drink too much, heh. Which are most nights of course. Think about it. But make sure you come Saturday. Do something for yourself... and Logan, but mainly for yourself. Ricardo, and I will be right here if you need anything. Everyone needs a second chance, even Linda."

***

It was quiet going back home in the car, I was still in the back but now I was laying on the dog, my curly hair mixing with his black fur. I didn't want to even see Linda in my peripheral vision, thinking she would embarrass me again. An hour and a half later when we got to her work, Logan let her out near her car, I stayed making her believe I was sleeping on the dog.

"Let's go," She knocked on the back window.

"I'm going to get my car, it's in the salon's parking lot."

"Come on, now, get it tomorrow."

She was once again treating me like one of the kids. I said goodbye to Logan, I was hoping he would kiss me but I didn't want to chance it. I started to go into the backseat, I wasn't thinking, then she yelled at me again.

She started driving, we weren't that far from home, we followed Logan's car. She shut off the music, "What was that all about?"

I looked at her, I didn't really know what she was talking about, there was no underlining reason to go out for dinner. Logan just wanted her to talk to Natasha and Ricardo, just to show her that sometimes life takes a different turn, a better one.

"Well? They seem to think you and Logan are in some type of relationship."

I stayed quiet, I didn't want to talk about this, it was too late, I was too tired. I just rubbed my eyes.

"And I thought we discussed the wine school, the wineries, whatever. I thought you were over that."

"We didn't really discuss that, I just miss it, that's all. I think I need a change."

"Ugh... You know why you could never work in that industry. At least not in the U.S."

I did know, it was stupid, it was an impulse. "I know, but I could explain."

"Explain, I know what you would do, you would just try to take a job as a woman, a trans woman, all of your certificates have your fucking female name, how stupid could you have been. You should of asked me, you could of been working in that field for years. You could of been working in LA. In the industry, not just restaurants."

I put on the music, I wanted a distraction, but she turned it off again. "You are just another one of the kids sometimes."

We were in front of the house, thank god we wouldn't have to finish this conversation.

***

End of Part 4 of 5

Daydreaming on Deck (Part 5)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's note... Here we are at the end of another story. I used to write very fast, I would be on another couple of romances even before I started spell-checking the one I was finishing. (Which could take a while) Now I am in some sort of cruise mode...

I did something, that surprises me. I put my picture in that little box that pops up. No filters, no AI, no drawing or painting by someone I admire, ya know just me. Nervous me, the one not paying attention. I have on sunglasses but that doesn't count. I feel very comfy lately and it is not helping my writing, ha, trading one thing for another, I guess, but it doesn't really matter. Thank you so much for reading my story with a ton of internal dialogue and I truly hoped YOU liked it...

***

I slept in my room, alone again, with the door locked. Linda was talking through it but I ignored her. It was such a wonderful week and now it was hell, but this time it was mostly my fault. I fell asleep listening to music.

I woke up to her banging on my door, "I'm leaving in a half-hour, I have to meet Helene."

I forgot she was going away, I got up, I washed, and then put on my robe. I took my makeup off the night before but I still looked completely feminine. My eyelashes, eyebrows, lips, even my double pierced ears. I primped my hair and put one side over my ear. It was so unlike the last week when I was in lingerie under my robe and semi-gender non-specific on the outside.

She was at the dining room table, her bags were on the floor. I was behind her, she turned around. "God, I hate that fuckin' hair. Maybe by the time I get home, you will shave it off." She started to laugh, I was thinking I haven't shaved in almost a year.

"You were mean to me in front of everyone last night. You have done that before and you never apologize."

She moved closer to me, I could tell she was getting angry, this was going to ruin her weekend.

"Well usually it's because you say something stupid, or you're not paying attention, or you bring up some reference that nobody knows. It's never me it's always YOU." I knew she didn't pay any attention to me, I was always so quiet. Last night I was with people with who I could actually converse, obviously, I was making company all these years with the wrong crowd. I think I was even married to the wrong person.

She finished packing, she zipped up her bags, poured coffee into her metal thermos.

"It won't be ME anymore. I have a job interview tomorrow. I am going to take it."

"What? Where?"

"It's a vineyard, someplace called Ramona Ranch, it's near Natasha and Ricardo."

"And what was up with them last night, they were so infatuated with you. They kept on asking you questions... It was ridiculous. Logan too." She picked up her bags she headed towards the door. "Believe me you are not that interesting or even that likable. You don't even look that much like a female. Shit!" She looked at me, she was waiting for a response. She was being mean to me on purpose and I was glad, she was giving me strength, just like Merch did last night. "And you know, I was going to start having a little thing with Logan, I figured he was single and we kept on running into each other, heh. I know we aren't working out well anymore." She pushed herself out the door.

I called while she was outside, part of me didn't even want her to hear me. "I'm not going to be here when you get home. Have fun on your trip." I turned around and walked to my room, she didn't make a sound, she didn't move. Then I heard the front door once I was in my room. I had the door locked, the stereo nice and loud, Joni Mitchel then Julie Covington then Kirsty MacColl, all of mine and the kids' favorites, keeping me from hearing Linda yell through my bedroom door. Sunday night will be a different world for both of us, for all of us.

I finally heard the car take off, the front screen door was broken and off its hinges. Something for Linda to fix, give her something to do besides playing golf once she gets home from her weekend.

***

Once I was dressed, I made some phone calls. I was at the table in a simple light beige dress, beige pantyhose, and mocassins. I called my business partner and asked him to take over the whole business. He was surprised, but he said he would.

I then called the kids and explained to them that I was transgender. They both said they knew, they knew for years, it was easier than I thought, I didn't feel bad at all when I said goodbye, hanging up with each of them, staring off into space. I was smiling thinking they took more after me. Jenny was working as a photographer, she was a whizz at photoshop, she was very busy. She lived about a half-hour away from Las Vegas, it wasn't too far, and she loved it. Sometimes she sang and played piano at one of the small clubs near the casinos. I would drive to Nevada and watch, then sleep in the car before making the trip home. I was always proud of her, especially her song selection. Her last song was always 'Days' by Kirsty MacColl, it always made me cry, it made everybody cry. I usually bought everyone a drink and told them that was my daughter. Linda never came, she thought Jenny was being frivolous and wasting her sleeping time. 'Days' would float around my mind for days.

'Thank you for the days
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me
I'm thinking of the days
I won't forget a single day believe me'

Marc was a manager of a hotel in New York City, In Tribeca. He always wanted to live in New York City. He wanted to visit the museums, the theaters, the concert venues. When he finally went to Madison Square Garden to see a concert he sent me so many pictures, I was very happy and proud of him. He was having a great time and then he met a woman there, now his girlfriend, they have been living together for about a year. I have a picture of them being chased out of a VIP area by security guards in the Garden. It was taken on a security camera, it always makes me laugh.

Neither of my children could put up drywall, fix an outlet or even balance their checkbook. Neither of them would ever leave me at a restaurant. I started to think they were exactly like me, I couldn't wait to tell Logan. I couldn't wait until Linda discovers it for herself.

Mark and Jenny both wanted me to visit when everything quieted down when things became more normal. I knew things would become normal soon I wasn't worried at all. I was going to be on a plane or sleeping in my car in no time.

I heard a noise, a noise in the back, on the deck. I looked out the window, Merch was standing tall on the ledge of the window looking in, his tail was wagging.

I called Logan. "Hi, I have your dog."

"Merch really, you came to visit?"

"No he showed up, I gave him a can of chunky beef soup, cold of course." We laughed.

"Today is the end of construction, the men must have left one of the gates open. I will be home in a couple of hours. Can you let him watch you for a couple of hours, you can show him some of your brushes?"

"I can, I'm glad you two are so alike."

We started to talk, I was keeping him from working but he didn't rush me off. I told him that I realized the trip to Escondido wasn't about us, or Linda, it was about me and I wanted to thank him. Mainly because it was never about me. I wouldn't see him until later so I packed. I packed some of my female clothes. Some of my makeup and shoes, some of my accessories that have been hiding in my closet. I wanted to show them off. I was finally leaving Linda's home, as of right now I wouldn't miss her, and I wouldn't miss her house. I would mainly miss the two empty children's bedrooms. The back deck was all I ever really enjoyed, everything else reminded me of hiding and locking and hoping nobody needed the bathroom. I was ready to become me. I was ready to say goodbye to all this daydreaming in my head. Maybe I was just on deck waiting for real life to start, just like Natasha, just like Ricardo.

***

I decided I was going to walk Merch through the little woods, through the trees to his home. I found a long rope and tied it to his collar, he watched me try to make a knot. I took my bag filled with a few things, I headed to Logans' place, I wanted to see what it looked like from the back, holding a big dog. I was hoping he was outside on his deck by the time I got there.

It was further than I thought. It took about twenty minutes, I just followed the dog. Driving, we were exactly six minutes apart. I saw him on the deck, he was setting up his table, he was waiting for company. I let go of the dog as he ran and bounded up the steps. They were happy to be reunited again. I was still in the woods, surrounded by trees, surrounded by my uncertainty and shyness. Linda called me uninteresting, unlikeable and she told me I didn't look like a woman. I guess Logan didn't care, he walked down the stairs and walked over to me. Of course, I had drifted off, he was in front of me before I realized it. He took my bag, he kissed my lips. He then took my arm and led me up the stairs. We were quiet, there was food cooking, there was music playing. He took me in his arms and we danced.

***

It was wonderful being here with the two of them, drinking wine and talking about nothing at all. My phone rang. My heart stopped I didn't want to talk to Linda.

It was Angela. "Um, Sabrina are you coming in today? Your car is in the parking lot and everyone is stopping by thinking you are here."

"Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry, I'm about to have hamburgers with Logan. You know what? Have everyone come here, to his house. He has got plenty of room, haha." I was being facetious.

"Okay."

I was surprised, but extremely happy. I traded my moccasins for three-inch heels and put on darker lipstick. Now I was ready to serve drinks.

An hour later the deck was filled with people, we were eating and drinking. We had hotdogs and hamburgers, french fries and salad. I had to have someone drive me back to Linda's house to get more soda and wine, more vegetables, and more dip. It was a perfect Friday night, we laughed, we danced, I told everyone I was taking a job at a winery. We cheered, it was so nice. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, it was so spontaneous. I sent pictures to the kids. I sent them pictures of Merch and Logan and his deck lights, I sent them a picture of me and Angela and told them she was my best friend. I sent a group shot of everyone waving to the camera, even the dog.

I would have to leave my car in more parking lots.

***

I was in Logan's bedroom, it was very big, it had huge windows and floor-to-ceiling curtains. I imagined I was in a mansion, a castle, a hotel. I was wearing my short white, nightie. I had on nude thigh highs, white panties, and a pair of strappy white pumps. I had on my beige bra to hold my breast forms and I had my hair in a band, held high on the back of my head. I wanted to see my earrings, long gold below and little gold dots above. I had just taken a long shower, I was now putting on my lip color, I had taken forever to put on the little bit of makeup I had in my pocketbook. It was late and I was making believe I was on vacation. I was talking to the woman in my mirror. "Maybe we will go skiing tomorrow." She smiled at me, I was using one of my big powder brushes. "Or maybe not. I didn't bring my gloves." Squishing my face.

"Or skis," She said surprising me.

I giggled. Logan was playing with the dog, he told me to call him when I was ready. I was ready.

I was on the bed, checking my nails as he walked in. Shaking my ponytail. "Can I help you?"

He smiled, he moved next to me on the bed, he kissed my hand, my arm then my neck. He kissed my lips. "Oh hello," He said, "Will you be staying the night, would you like a wake-up call?"

"Mmm, yes, and yes."

I laid back and he started licking my neck, making his way down my body. He nuzzled my breasts, kissed my stomach, lifted my nighty. "Mmm, very sexy. All this for me?"

"Most of it." I giggled some more, he was tickling me with his rough face, his light beard. He had his mouth on my transparent panties, his nose and chin investigating. He took the front of my panties into his mouth, he sucked, I was completely tucked, I am sure I felt like a woman to him. I started to moan, I was liking whatever he was doing. His fingers were on my legs, my nylon, he started kissing down my body again. He lifted my leg and kissed my heels, my ankles. I moved up on my elbow to watch, to watch him enjoying himself, to watch him get more excited.

"I was talking to Ricardo this morning," He said as he kissed and played with my legs and heels. "He said you were very talented and intuitive, both he and Natasha plan on learning a lot from you."

"Really? That's nice, usually, no one remembers me the next day."

He stopped, he looked at me, "Starting now, I want you to stop that. You are a beautiful, exciting woman no matter what you think or whatever Linda says. She is just trying to get a rise out of you"

I didn't know what to say, I felt a little nervous. "Okay."

I lightly shook my head and then he stood up, he took off his robe, his shirt, his briefs. His cock was hard. I put out my fingers drawing him in closer. he teased me, he was too far away. I got all the way up and slid to the end of the bed. I looked up into his eyes as his cock snuck between my breasts. I rubbed and squeezed, I dipped my head and took him into my mouth. We moaned we sighed. I sucked him, his hardness making it into my mouth causing a friction through my lips. My red lips. I took hold of his bare ass and guided him in and out of my mouth. He played with my ponytail. I didn't want him to cum yet, I wanted to enjoy the feel of his dick inside me, but Logan had other ideas. He slipped out of my mouth, he kissed me and I moved back onto the bed.

"I had a fantastic time tonight. I always have fun when I'm with you." He smiled, he kissed me again. "I told everyone you were my girlfriend. And they were quite happy for me. One of the older women, Jane, said that I was the luckiest man in the world."

"Ha, really? she is so nice."

"She told me when we are ready we can have use of her house in Tahoe." We laughed and I made plans in my head.

"Will we need skiis?" I giggled.

Logan's face explored my body again, he went down and took off my panties, I stayed tucked as he licked and sucked the line of hair that is usually hidden in my tight bikinis. A couple of times he looked up at me, I thought he was going to ask where my 'clit' was, had it been removed, or was I just great at tucking, if he even knew what that was. I was small, I was great at tucking. His finger went inside me and I moved, I started to get hard and I asked him to lay next to me. I didn't want him to view that part of me yet, but I wanted his fingers inside me. I took his manhood and played with him, my long fingernails tickling his cock and balls, his finger now inside me to the knuckle.

"Oh my god, Logan." I closed my eyes, I was loving this. He added another finger. "Oh my god," My head went back, my midsection went up, I let go of his hard cock. He took something from the side table and I felt the coolness inside of me. He kissed me again, I put my arms around his neck, I wanted to taste him all night. He gave me one more kiss and maneuvered his body in front of me, he was so hard, his cock was throbbing. He lifted my legs, took my nylon thighs in his hands as I covered my 'clit.' He put the head of his cock at my opening and slowly he pushed. He moved my legs to get a better grip and slipped in a little more. I watched him, he was so focused, he was enjoying this new relationship.

I got up on my elbows, he watched me. I took my hair out of the band. I smiled at him and shook my head. My hair swung around my face, my earrings jingled. I was trying to be sexy. He suddenly pushed his cock more into me, he was all in. I felt his body against me, my eyes got wide, I laid back down on the bed as he pushed into me, we started to fuck, it was wonderful. I started moving, matching his rhythm. After a while we changed positions, I was now on my side, a leg in his hand, it felt amazing, he was making me feel like a 'woman' like I have been doing this my whole life. I wasn't a novice I was a mature sexually active 'female.'

He spun me around once more, he was in front of me again. I watched his cock enter, the entire length of it push its way into my body, I screamed when he pushed in harder, I moaned, I was having an orgasm. "Oh, my god, Logan, don't stop." It wasn't even hard. I was covering myself and caught it all in my hand. He watched as he continued to fuck me, I could tell he was so happy he made me come. I started to lick my hand and Logan started to cum inside me. He screamed out my name. I felt his jism shoot, I felt his sperm make its way down my tunnel. I moved my bottom I wanted his cum to make its way through my body, I wanted him to be a part of me. I held him tight as he kept his cock hard and buried.

He laughed, he let down my legs, I was a little sore. he laid down next to me and we kissed. He stopped and looked at me, looked at my eyes, my lips. He played with my hair, lightly touched my face. "You are incredible. Everybody loves you. Natasha told me that we looked so comfortable together."

"Did she?"

"She did, she called this morning too. She apologized for bringing up your transition. I gave her your number she is probably going to call tomorrow."

"Okay. I really liked her, I wish I had friends like her my entire life. Sometimes I feel like I wasted my time, but talking to her yesterday I realized I just wasn't ready. Now I am. Do you know what I mean?"

"I think I do."

And we kissed again, he held my breasts, he rubbed his wet cock against me. We fell asleep holding each other. We fell asleep with his hardness against my thigh. Tomorrow morning he will find me on his pillow, in his bed, that should make him very happy.

***

I was awoken, I was looking at Logan, he was sound asleep, heard him lightly breathing. I felt someone looking at me, I felt a presence, I wasn't used to sleeping with someone in a strange bed. Especially not a large hairy man. I heard a sniff. Merch had his paws on the bed, he was standing tall above and behind me, I think he needed something. I got up, I was still wearing my heels, I followed him to the back door. I put on his leash and we walked in the woods. I was breaking the sticks on the forest floor with my five-inch pumps, it had to be three or four in the morning, it was so quiet. Usually, I was nervous out alone, especially in something as thin as my nightgown, but with the dog, I felt pretty indestructible. Being with Logan and Merch had given me so much more confidence. I decided I was going to call Linda tomorrow morning, though I'm sure the kids have already called her. I would explain. I would tell her I need to do this, need to move on just like ten years ago when I went to France. The only difference was that I wasn't ever going to come back, and I wasn't doing it alone.

Merch was quick, just a quick pee in the woods, we headed up the back stairs. I saw Logan watching through the window, his hand on the pane, a huge smile on his face. He was naked.

I took off my heels before I went into his bedroom, I was now five inches smaller.

He was smiling at me, as he walked over to me. "You seem to be becoming indispensable around here." He whispered.

"I have?" He walked over to me and held me.

"I never realized you were so little." He kissed the top of my head and we got back into bed. We put the covers on, I heard the dog somewhere in the room.

Logan was facing me, our noses almost touching, it was nice I felt safe and relaxed. He touched my cheek, "It's nice having someone in bed, it's usually a very lonely place. If you want you could stay here. If you don't think you can go back."

"Maybe." I looked at him, he had been so nice to me but was it because of the promise of more sex, or did he really have feelings for me. I felt I was too old and mature for just sex, I think I needed more. I knew Linda was tired of me, my routines, my apologies, even my silence. I would keep my answer for a while. "Mmm maybe."

We started to kiss again it was nice. I put my hands on his chest, he put his in my hair and breast. "Natasha says you can live at the restaurant if you like too. You have a lot of options."

I smiled, it was such a crazy idea but I loved it. No one has ever invited me to do anything like this, no one has ever tried to take care of me. "Mmm."

We kissed some more and I leaned against him, my hair under his chin. I felt that I fit in this position so perfectly. I hated to compare him to Linda, I hated to compare the two situations. Linda and I haven't been intimate in years, maybe two years. I figured once the kids left the house we would have more time, more occasions to fool around in the big quiet house. I was wrong, she didn't like my perfume and she wanted to work more, she wanted to get away from the house. Her house, the one she was always working on.

I felt his cock, he was hard again. I played with him, imagining what his manhood looked like, it was dark, we were under the covers. He kissed me as he came into my hands, I licked them clean and told him, thank you for everything.

***

We got up early, picked up my car, and went in to visit Angela. We took the cases and boxes that I had at the house and put them in Logans' car. We went out on the deck, I called Linda.

"Sorry to bother you on your trip," I told her, I think she was surprised I was calling.

"Oh, yeah, that's alright, we're on a break."

"I'm sorry how things have turned out." I felt myself start to cry and Logan sat closer to me.

"Don't be sorry, I think it was inevitable. We have always been so different but I thought that's what made our marriage work."

"Mmm, me too."

I heard her talking to others, I heard her say she was almost done. I guessed she was done. "I find it crazy that you ended up with Logan."

"Really?"

"I thought for sure I would end up with him, with someone, he and I are very similar, I was always running into him at the Home Improvement stores. I figured he would take one look at you and I'd get all his sympathy."

"Oh? Funny how things happen."

"Yeah, funny, I invited him over to the house not realizing there would be a much prettier woman there for him to meet. We will be telling this story to our new friends you know."

"Mmm."

I said goodbye, I didn't tell her that Logan already told me some of that. I also didn't want to tell her she couldn't compare herself to me, I was always going to be the nicer one.

We picked up the dog. We drove south and I sat in the back, I watched Logan in the driver's seat. I was calm, my life was changing very rapidly, but I was quite calm. I had my hand on the Merch's neck, he didn't seem to be nervous at all. I held him and felt much better.

I went to the interview, they offered me the job, a couple of days a week. They were interested in my transition, interested in my ideas on helping their restaurant and services, interested in me. Natasha and Ricardo also hired me to set up their wine cellar, on their other floor. They promised me I would be quite busy.

That night we stayed in the little room in the basement, Merch, Logan and I. It was fun, we stayed another night. We made love in the little bed under the windows, listening to the workers set up the restaurant for the day. Smelling the sauces cook in the huge pots. I draped my arm around his neck, I was loving the silk of my slip, I felt his breath on my hair.

I asked him which of my outfits, out of all of them were his favorite. He looked down at me, I was wearing a pale blue slip, white stockings, and heels. My heels were scratching his legs.

"Well, is this a preview or is this what is happening right now?" He asked, and I moved up a little on the bed, I wanted to think about this. I wanted to pay attention, finally.

"Mmm," I put my finger to my lips, my long nails were suddenly the focus of his full attention. "This is what happening right now, right this very second."

He laughed, he shook his head, I must have had a serious look on my face. "Then this. This is my favorite outfit of yours. Whatever you are wearing at that moment it will be my favorite." His hand went on my breasts. He pulled me to him and we kissed, we listened to everyone else working.

I then asked in his ear if I could stay with him when we got back to Capistrano, at least until I was ready to settle in. It turned out we were never apart after that. It was nice being together, it was nice being a couple. It was especially nice being part of the conversation and not being hidden at the end of the table.

***

"I always look better in a mirror," I told her, she smiled, she was a listener like me. I was putting on my lip color, three steps like Angela taught me. Line, fill, then gloss. Almost red lips grew larger, happier.

I had my music low on my phone, so I heard a shuffling outside my bedroom threshold, the door was wide open showing me the morning light from the front window. "Are you talking to me?"

"Um, yes?" I didn't want my imagination to run away from me, the mind was a powerful tool. "I'm almost ready."

I finished brushing my hair, the curls were gone, it was now long and straight, parted on the side. Sometimes it covered my left eye, hiding my long eyelash, I could be quite sexy when I got in a mood. "I was thinking," I went back to our conversation in the mirror, I saw her head tilt, eyes squinting, paying attention. "I only SEE myself in a mirror, how then do I know it's better?"

I felt hands on my shoulders, I looked behind myself, behind my reflection. He kissed my cheek. "You are right, you do look better inside a mirror." Of course, the reflection smiled, she loved a compliment, even at my expense. "Are you ready? You promised to take me on your usual gallivanting run today, say goodbye to everyone."

I stood up, I was dressed so nice today, our last day. I had a flouncy white cotton top, short sleeves, and cold shoulders. I had on a short seafoam skirt, the same color as two of my princess dresses. I had on four-inch white sandals, with a natural chunky heel, I could reach his lips perfectly. We kissed in my new bedroom, our new bedroom. We would be saying goodbye to it soon, it was full of boxes, tubs, moving blankets, and bundles of Wine Enthusiast Magazines.

"Logan?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you going to miss this house?" I got close to him, my hair against his face.

"A little. This is where my kids grew up, I will always have memories of it. How about you?"

I thought, I put my head on his shoulder, my arms around his neck. "I'll miss it too."

"No baby, about your house, you know the one with the great porch and the huge deck."

"Oh, I will, but it made me sad seeing the empty bedrooms every day. I was missing the kids, the company."

Logan decided he was done working on the house, fixing drywall, replacing appliances, it was time to do something else, it was time to sell. We decided we wanted to go to restaurants, go to different towns, cities. Visit friends, family, museums, Madison Square Garden. We bought a house in Ramona, it was quieter and not too far from the Restaurants and Vineyard I would be working in, not too far from Natasha and Ricardo. Maybe an acre away.

***

We first went to the mall, I introduced Logan to the women in the larger departments stores. I took him to Victoria's Secret, I wanted to show him off. We then went to Angela's, I didn't want to go in, I didn't want to say goodbye. I told him about the time Angela waited for me, and brought me in herself, holding my arm so I wouldn't run away.

He laughed. "They loved you right from the beginning."

We were outside the door, Angelas picture was right in the window welcoming the clients, I made him take a picture of me with it. Angela came out, of course she dragged me in. I hugged everyone, it was so hard, my eyes were a mess. She made me show her my new ring. My only ring. She made me show everyone. A couple of the girls were crying, I hugged them tightly. I told them that we were moving less than two hours away, but it felt so far, I didn't think my heart would be able to say goodbye to my favorite place, but I did. I gave everyone presents, I gave everyone smiles, Logan took notes as he watched from the big styling chair that I use to sit in. I invited everyone to come to visit, more parties, told them we had two extra rooms, three extra beds, and room for more. Told them we could have drinks in the lanai. Told them we didn't have to miss each other forever.

"Come on let's take one big group shot." Logan lined us up, he took over a dozen pictures, he even got in a couple of them. One day one of them will be on our wall in the living room. One day I will be serving wine from Bordeaux and eating clams or oysters or something no one loves yet, like Boulette d'Avesnes, surrounded by other pictures. New pictures we would take, of our new friends, our extended family.

We drove off, It was nice, it was sad, I was very happy. I sent some pictures to the kids.

We had two more stops to make before we left our little town, before we headed to our new life, to be with our new unpacked furniture.

We parked behind the moving vans. First, we picked up Merch, I sat in the back with him again. I had my book, he had his bone, it wouldn't be a long trip, we would listen to my favorite music. We pulled up, six minutes away. We parked behind another couple of moving vans.

Jenny was in denim and flannel talking to the moving men. "Done?"

"We are," We hugged, and Linda walked out. They were going to get a house together, live in Nevada near Jenny's job. They were both pretty excited.

The dog was sniffing the bushes, investigating the house and back deck. Merch would miss this place more than anyone. We had bottled water while hanging around the fence. Watching others work, watching the house go from full to empty.

"I was wondering," Linda walked closer to us, just on the other side of the small white fence. "When you tell the story about how you two first met, and you will, I hope you say I was the one that brought you two together."

"We will." Logan chuckled.

"Maybe that was my plan," She giggled, "My plan all along. Maybe I knew it would end like this, saying goodbye as best friends."

I was thinking probably friends, definitlely not best friends. But this was nice, it felt like an ending but also a new beginning. In my head I was talking to my reflection too, she always liked a good story, something with a happy ending.

"I will start this little love story on the deck in my black dress with gold polka dots." Everyone shook their heads and smiled. "We talk, the dog rambles up to sniff me, and somewhere on the fifteenth hole, in a golf cart, Linda is thinking, wow that was pretty easy. Haha."

"Well, it wasn't that easy," Linda said.

"Ha..."

We waved goodbye, I sat in the back with the dog again, I had my book on my lap. Our new home was less than two hours away. I was going to perfect our story instead, the day Logan and I fell in love. Linda thinks that was the day we met, but it was actually the day we fell in love, I was in black with gold polka dots.

"Ahh...," I breathed out as we passed the familiar houses, streets. I waved to all the people I didn't get to meet. I took a picture of the front of the Dry Cleaners where we shared our first kiss.

The story would be complete by the time we pulled into Ramona. I would have every detail exactly the way it was, the way I wanted to remember it. Maybe I will call it 'Daydreaming on Deck.' or maybe just 'To Ramona,' we'll see, it depends on where the story ends.

It might even end right here. The End.

Girltime at the Hideaway 2
by Sabrina G. Langton

***

Here is a story that has been running through my head for over a decade, ha, imagine, don't I need room for other, more important things? Like, um, politics, directions, and appointments I keep missing... Oh well, maybe not. I finished this over a year ago, and it wasn't working for me... I read, I tried, I changed, and then I gave up... pop. Then I had an epiphany, yes an epiphany.... I read it as a Television show, episodic, with a slight laugh track, and it worked. It totally worked for me, I hope it works for YOU as well. So here is Episode 2 of Girltime... I hope YOU like it...

***
Episode 2

I loved being out on a date. We took three separate cars.

Ross held my waist as we entered the movie theater, my thin corsetted waist. I could tell Misty and Chan were happy that we were getting along. We walked into the theater and took over an entire row, every couple had their own love seat.

Ross leaned over, "I haven't been out on a date in a long time, I'm glad it's with someone so beautiful." I didn't know what to say, I wasn't used to compliments, so I just smiled. My new whitened teeth probably glowing in the darkened theater.

The movie was your average romantic comedy and I loved it. Ross slipped his arm around my shoulders halfway though and I eased into him a little. I felt his hand on the bare skin of my shoulders, it was nice.

I have always wanted to do this. I have always wanted to be the girl on a date, snuggling with her boyfriend. I was suddenly proud of the big breasts that Misty and Chan gave me, I kept getting admiring glances from men walking next to us. They all gave me eye contact and smiles as they walked up the stadium stairs. Ross was having trouble himself keeping his eyes on mine. After the movie he held my hand and lifted me up, my lips were so close to his, I had to stop myself from leaning in and kissing him.

Chan and Mitchel said goodnight taking Misty and her husband with them. Ross and I stood by ourselves in front of the theater. I was hoping he wasn't planning on leaving me too soon, he still kept on glancing at my breasts and I wanted to show them off some more.

"It's still early," He said, "Would you like to go somewhere? I know a nice place a couple of blocks away."

I almost blurted out WOULD I? But I just demurely smiled and shook my head. We ended up walking the three blocks to a small Mediterranean restaurant with tiny tables.

Everyone greeted Ross like a rock star, and he knew every customer in the restaurant. He introduced me as his friend and we took a quiet table in the back. It seems they loved having a local chef stop by. I was learning more things about him by the second.

He was being so nice to me and giving me all types of attention. I was having a wonderful time eating off of little dishes. He had me eating out of his hand, literally.

"Ross?" An older couple walked over to our table. "My, my, my I haven't seen these eyes in forever." The woman said. "And who is this lovely thing?"

Ross and I stood up, he was excited to see them. "Sabrina, this is my friends Ramesh and Pavani Vasa. And this of course is Sabrina." They both took my hands, they were dark and had slight British sounding accents.

"Vasa? Like the Vasa Gallery?"

"That's us." Ramesh beamed. "You know of our little haven?" He was being so charming, the Vasa Gallery was beautiful and so immense and I was sure I had seen them before.

"Oh," I smiled. "I love it there. I go ALL the time."

They laughed and were quite happy Ross was with an art lover. We invited them to sit with us, even though it was a tight squeeze.

I was interested in art and had been an art major in college. I also knew a little too much about the gallery it was right near UCLA and I would drop in as my male self when I was supposed to be going to class or studying.

"My favorite is the Leo and Diane Dillon paintings and woodcuts. I could stay in that wing for hours." I told them. They seemed slightly impressed that a young 'girl' knew so much about the two artists, who were popular so long ago. I could name and describe every piece of Dillon art they had, I had been there so much.

Pavani said, "We are selling much of our stock to make room for some new acquisitions, the weird section in the back is the first to go."

"The outsider art?"

"You know of them?" Pavani pulled a catalog of paintings out of her bag and showed me the ones she was selling. When she showed me the prices I asked if they were the starting bid for the auction.

"Oh, no," Ramesh told us. "Our salesman tells us that is a good price, but they did sell very quickly, we are just waiting for checks and money to come in."

"I would raise the price maybe three hundred percent or more, on all of them," I told them. I knew my outsider art especially Daniel Johnston and Wesley Willis, and they had plenty of them for sale. "Those artists are gone. Johnston and Willis were so great there will never be anyone like them ever again." I was pretty passionate. "Maybe you should sell them to knowledgeable buyers in Chicago or Texas, something sounds wrong to me."

"Mmm, we will have to check," Pavani told us then gave a confused look at her husband, "I will talk to Linda the accountant first thing in the morning."

We said goodnight after we finished our drinks and they told me they would check the prices with a couple of different galleries too, just to be sure. They would have to get it revalued by the right people before the money comes in.

"Goodnight, nice meeting you."

***

"Wow," Ross said as we walked back to the car. "I didn't realize you were an art expert. Misty told me you worked in computers."

I clutched his hand a little tighter as we walked. I giggled, "I have lots of special powers." I think I was flirting.

"Ooh someone is getting more interesting and mysterious." He then stopped and turned to look at me. His hand went to my face and I felt him lean toward me. He kissed me in front of a Crunch Fitness storefront. There were over a hundred stationary bicycles watching us through the window, a third were occupied. I suddenly realized I was receiving my first kiss. I moved closer to him as his lips reached for me again and my hand went on his chest. It was a wonderful moment, I couldn't wait to call the girls tomorrow and tell them unless someone on one of the bikes told them first.

Ross was happy I took car service to The Hideaway and he could drive me home. I made sure of it. I felt incredible as I sat crossing my legs under his watch. He seemed happier than when we first met, and I couldn't wait for another kiss when we said goodnight.

*

The house was empty but I felt funny having him come in. I would have to clean it out before explaining too many of my and Lillian's items. I would have to reopen the side door that led directly into my room on my side of the house so I could avoid the rest.

He walked me to the door, it was quite late.

"Here I am," I said. I was quite nervous, a man had never walked me to my door before. I took out my key and Ross opened it for me. I turned to him and I smiled as the door creaked open. He leaned into me and we kissed, I was so excited. Just a little kiss on the lips, it was nice. I felt my body against him, my new boobs pressing against his chest. I wasn't ready for it but I started to have an orgasm. A man was making me cum in my tight panties, I didn't know where I was for a couple of seconds.

I then wondered, did Misty and Chan think I was perfect for him or he was perfect for me? His hands then went on my waist and he kissed me again, my mouth was open a little more. I was still in a daze with my eyes closed, as he pulled back and started talking to me.

My eyes got wide, and he asked again. "Would you like to go out tomorrow, shopping? I know a great market."

"Um, okay."

He looked at his watch. "Eight or is that too early?"

"Um, okay." I don't remember walking into the house.

***

I wanted to call one of the women to ask what to wear to a market, what the heck is a market anyway. I woke up at six to get ready. I decided on my long white skirt and matching top. With my breasts glued on I wanted to show them off, while going braless. The top was cropped and showed off my tight belly. It was more of a tube top with big ruffled straps, very feminine. The skirt was long and tiered, made of thin cotton and reaching my ankles. I put on four-inch chunky sandals and had a big straw bag. My hair was brushed and parted in the middle looking nice and long, just showing a pair of light blue round earrings. I painted my twenty nails to match.

I was at my new vanity, it was a gift to myself and it was beautiful. It was reclaimed wood stained white and had three flexible mirrors, it was something that I never had the nerve to buy for myself before, how would I explain it. But here I was fixing my mascara and putting on my dark red lipstick. I looked like I was having more fun than usual, hopefully, Lillian and Chester would stay away the rest of the weekend.

My phone started to ring. "Hello?"

It was Chan, "So you scored another date, you vixen."

"I did," I giggled, "We are going shopping to a market, I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be nervous, have fun. Ross goes there all the time he picks up items for the restaurant. It's a little dusty wear a hat, haha."

So of course, I did. A wide-brimmed straw one.

*

I was waiting outside for Ross to appear. I waved to a couple of confused neighbors walking their dogs. I'm sure they were wondering who the woman in white was, I hope they get used to her, to me.

When Ross arrived he made me model my outfit for him. I made him take pictures so I could send them to the girls, I hoped they would approve. I was loving showing off my body in the form-fitting skirt.

The market was very busy when we arrived. Ross knew everyone and he introduced me to more people than I have ever met in my life. All the vendors with food had us try some. I was eating things that I never even heard of, but I didn't care I would eat anything. You never knew when the greatest thing would pass through your lips. Haha.

We stayed and walked around the entire morning. We started to head back, first stopping at The Hideaway. I met the head chef for the first time, Marcos. He was a large Greek man, probably in his late forties. He was very excited with whatever Ross procured for him. He promised to cook something special for me the next time we were in the restaurant.

I did feel a little dusty in my white outfit and asked Ross to take me home to change.

"I love you in this, you are exquisite." He grabbed me and we kissed again. This time I put my arms around his neck and drew him closer, I wanted to show him I was enjoying his lips on mine. Being in his presence was making my panties very wet and he was treating me so nice, which was enhancing my excitement. I was just hoping my skirt didn't show it. It was so tight, light and thin.

His phone started ringing, interrupting our make-out session. "Hi, yes, she is with me now. Okay, see you soon." He smiled at me. "The Vasa's want us to visit."

"Ooh, I'm am up for that." I patted myself off, imagining the dust rise, and we drove a couple of blocks to my favorite gallery.

***

"Sabrina, welcome back." Pavani said laughing as she grabbed my hands. "Beautiful blue." She said looking at my long nails.

Her husband Ramesh walked out and ushered us into the center of the gallery. It was a huge space full of modern and recent art. I spun around taking it all in, to me, a gallery was something you put on like a big blanket, not just for looking at but immersing in. Like jumping into. We walked into the back where the jewels were. The galleries of the Dillions and the outsider art, always my favorite. I have been to so many galleries in New York and most in the LA area, but this was my favorite place.

The Dillion's art always reminded me of my parents. They were both big science fiction fans and read constantly. They were older than most of my friends' parents and stayed home more and just read... and ate. We ate very well. Both of my parents were also wonderful cooks.

Leo and Diane Dillion painted covers for a lot of science fiction classics that my parents read. I would study all the covers. I took pictures and scanned them, I have a huge folder filled with book covers on my computer. Once I had some extra money I would fill the missing holes in my library, buying them on Amazon and eBay or the local bookstores. I have an impressive collection. I never thought I would ever see an original cover artwork in person, until I walked into the Vasa Gallery.

"The first time I walked into the gallery, I was so unprepared for the artwork that I knew so well, I lost my breath, I sat on that bench for an hour." I pointed to the long wood bench near the glass doors. I shrugged and scrunched up my face, and they all smiled at me. I probably sounded a little obsessed again like I did the night before.

Ramesh spoke, "Sabrina I wanted to tell you... you were correct with the pricing on the cataloged items. We had them revaluated and, I hate to say, we fired the salesman. He had been with us for over two years."

"Really, did you find out why?" Ross looked up surprised.

"No, but we think he was reselling our stock. We checked into some of the older paintings he sold for us. All of them were underpriced." He shrugged then grabbed my hand. "Now we have you, thank you. You have saved us hundreds of thousands of dollars, we hope." He laughed as Pavani came over and hugged me, she steered me to one of my favorite spots in the world. I felt the climate and atmosphere change as we drifted to the back.

"I am so glad you love our little oasis." Pavani told me as we went through the bigger glass doors.

The back part of the gallery was always dark and quiet. It had four huge Dillon woodcuts and over a dozen book jacket paintings. There were even some pencil drawings and exercise doodles strewn around. They were beyond beautiful. One of the jacket paintings called 'Strange Wine' is my favorite. An elf with a large glass of red wine, cheering to me as I smiled at her. She was surrounded by some of the characters from the book. A collection of stories by my parents' favorite author, Harlan Ellison. Another LA resident. Subconsciously I think that's what led me here to LA from New York. Misty and Chan, Ross and the Vasa Gallery. I started to tear up like always as I got closer to it. Part of the painting was the author's face, his hair an array of trees. It was perfect, beautiful, and filled me with lovely memories of my parents and the recently deceased author, and of course of nights reading all those wonderful stories.

Ramesh and Pavani stood around me as I quietly looked at the painting. "This is definitely my favorite, I'm glad it will always be here." I sniffed, I had my fingers on my lips, as they listened to me.

Pavani patted my back, "Well it's not here for long." I turned and looked at her, my heart suddenly sank. "It's yours."

"What?" I didn't hear her, I was getting cloudy as Ross stood next to me for support.

"We want you to have it, as a thank you. No one will love it as much as you do. It will make us very happy if you accept our gift."

I then started to really cry, I didn't even have any words but I told them, "Then everyone else in the world won't be able to see it."

She laughed, "Then invite them over, ha. I love that you are thinking about everyone else in the world." She hugged me as a man took it off the wall and wrapped it up in paper, and it then sat on the back seat of Ross's car. I don't really remember much. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.

Ross was now driving us back to his house for lunch, smiling the entire way. The painting enjoying the ride behind me.

***

We were standing in Ross's kitchen, it was huge and had an incredible view of the landscape and pool in the backyard. He gave me a quick tour and we ended up outside.

"Do you want to go in the pool?" He asked me. "I'm sure we could come up with something to wear.

I did but I knew I couldn't, my breasts would definitely not hold up under scrutiny or water. "No maybe another time, but I do feel kinda dusty maybe I'll wash up."

He led me upstairs. "You know I still have all of Jennifer's clothes in her room, I never got rid of anything. Misty says I'm just lazy, but, I don't know."

We walked into her room, it was like she was still there. "Maybe I'll just use the bathroom."

“Well at least look in her closets, please, take something, you will look amazing in everything.” He said. He kissed me on the cheek, gave me a warm smile, and told me, “I’ll make us some drinks, come downstairs when you are ready.”

I wandered around, it seemed kind of strange to be snooping in my date's, deceased girlfriend's bedroom. It felt like a Lifetime movie moment. I then sat on the bed looking through one of Jennifer's many photo albums. She was beautiful, tall, had short hair, impeccable taste, long legs, and no boobs whatsoever. Ross's dead girlfriend. I got a chill thinking about her, I'm sure she didn't like that I was nosing around.

I got up to look through her clothes, I wasn't going to put on anything but I felt like it was some kind of test for Ross, to see if he was ready to put her memory to rest. Maybe now was the time to let her go. Her dresser mirror was full of pictures, she was very popular, she looked like she had lots of friends. I was surprised she didn't get along with Misty and Chan, they were tough but they were the nicest women I had ever met. I started thumbing through more of the pictures under the frame of the mirror. She was a singer and a waitress? I couldn't really tell. She had a pretty full life, it's so sad she was gone.

I was then looking in her drawers, she had so many garter-belts and even a couple of corsets and panties. A girl with my kind of tastes. I then checked the bottom draw, I found so many unopened packages of pantyhose and stockings, it was full of them. Noone has this many nylons unless she was a, wait, no, no way.

"Shit, what the hell. Jennifer is a TRANNY!"

I looked again at her pictures around the mirror, of course, she was a CD or a drag queen. She loved to take pictures of herself in every one of her outfits, she loved stockings and heels... she loved to show off... she loved to flaunt her femininity... she was more like me than I realized. I noticed that even her friends were probably drag queens.

"Shit, why didn't this come up in the conversation," I said to myself. No wonder Misty said to let it play out and not tell Ross I was transgender, now I understood, he already knew. I was upset, I felt like I was being played by the only friends I had. They all knew. I thought I was finally passing, what a joke I must have been to them. What kind of special project was I anyway.

I slammed the pantyhose draw and ran down the stairs in my heels. Ross must have heard me, he was moving to the bottom of the stairs. I was so angry and embarrassed, I couldn't even look at him. "Jennifer was a queen? When were you going to tell me?" I ran to the door.

"Wait, Sabrina." He held my arm. "What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm leaving. Don't follow me." I started to cry, I was outside on the steps.

"Please, let me explain. Please Sabrina come back."

I pulled away from him again. He called to me. "Then let me at least drive you home."

I was moving I had to get away, I had to think.

He started to run after me I was in the middle of his street, causing all sorts of drama. "Ross, stop following me, I don't want to talk about this." I started to jog as fast as I could in my heels. I cut through a lawn and ended up around the corner. I sat on a low cement fence surrounding a neighbors lawn. "What the hell, why am I so upset?" I whispered to myself while shaking.

I decided to call an Uber just as a man and a woman asked if I needed help. "No thank you," I said as composed as I could. I felt more dusty than ever.

***

I was in my room laying face down on my couch. Thank god Lillian wasn't here. My phone had been dinging constantly. I wouldn't touch it.

"Sabrina?" I heard a woman outside the house. "Sabrina, let me in." Misty was here. I couldn't look at her, I felt like such a fool. I looked even worse. After three excrutiating long minutes of ringing and knocking, I went to the door. I was wearing my top and panties, everything else was strewn somewhere in the house.

I opened the door.

"Are you okay, what the hell happened?" I let her walk past me and we ended up back in my room. "Tell me what happened."

I plopped into my chair, I don't know why I was so freaked out, I had my hands over my eyes. "I found out Jennifer wasn't ALL girl," I told her as I looked up. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Jennifer! Who cares about her, why are you even thinking about that?" She didn't seem angry at me just a little startled. "Ross told me you ran out of his house and didn't come back, we were worried more than anything. Next time ANSWER your phone, don't ever do that to me again."

I felt bad now, I got up and she held me. "I'm sorry." I sniffed. "I thought I was passing so well as a girl, now I realize everyone is just playing along."

She pulled back to look at me. "You, my dear... are crazy. I need a drink."

I opened a bottle of wine and remembered the Dillon. "Oh no, I left my painting in Ross's car. Oh, God, I hope he still lets me hostess at the Hideaway, he probably hates me now."

Misty shook her head as she picked up her phone. "Ross? Get over here now and fix this."

***

Misty made me get dressed and she scolded me, while she fixed my makeup. "We are all your friends," She told me, "You are too used to Lillian fucking with you, you have to trust people. Tell me you will trust me."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I trust you. I was being dramatic. It was just such a surprise."

I looked up and heard Ross at the front door. I had such a weird feeling in my chest.

"In here," Misty called.

Ross stuck his head in first. "Hi. Can I come in?"

Misty shook her head. "Of course you can. You know you two are perfect for each other. You are both so weird."

Ross brought in my painting. I couldn't give him any eye contact. I made him rip it open to show Misty. After letting me show her all the details she got ready to leave. "I have a husband I have to be with. Now work this out or I will never talk to either of you again." She gave us both a point of her finger and then she was gone.

I felt a little sheepish. He made me stand up and said, "I'm sorry. We were thinking, we were going to discuss this," And he lightly touched my top above my breasts, "all together one night, you know, when we got drunk."

"We can get drunk now."

"We can." And then he kissed me. It lasted a long time. I ran my long nails through his hair.

***

We ended up on my couch finishing the wine. "I like this." He told me.

"The wine or hanging out?"

"Both." And we laughed. He made me get onto his lap. He pushed the hair out of my face. "I'm sorry about this afternoon, I won't keep any more secrets from you. Misty told me I have to throw all her stuff out."

I suddenly didn't care about Jennifer anymore and put MY tongue in HIS mouth this time. It was what I was focused on, what I had been staring at. I love making out with him I felt like a teenager. When his hand went to my boobs I chuckled. "I'm sorry but they aren't real."

"Ha, I don't care they still feel amazing and they are still attached to a beautiful woman. One that I can't stop thinking about."

I was enjoying him rubbing my body, I had on a short light blue dress, it was thin and my boobs were showing through the fabric. He caressed them, I could tell he was loving it, his cock was so hard and pushing into me. Jennifer had no breasts in her pictures, I wonder what he loved. Maybe he loved large ones. Misty always made me wear C cup or even D. I loved big breasts, they were one of my favorite things about dressing up.

He then started kissing them through the dress. I don't know what happened but I felt an electrical charge run through my body. I had never felt this before. A man was fondling and kissing my boobs, nothing could be better. I suddenly started breathing irregularly and I held his head against my bosom, hugging him tightly. I slipped my long fingers under my pantyhose, and inside my panties, I started to rub myself. I held onto Ross with my other hand as he played with my breasts. I started to cum. It was even more intense than last night.

"Oh my god, Ross, oh..." It felt amazing, I barely touched myself and I was cumming. I put one of my long fingers with my long nails to my lips and took a little bit of my cum into my mouth, he smiled as he watched. I ran my long nails through his hair, we were nose to nose looking into each other's eyes I was loving all the attention he was showering me with. I finished my orgasm but I still couldn't catch my breath.

Ross looked at me with a huge smile on his face. "That was a surprise."

We then made out some more, I wanted him to feel as sensual as I did. I slipped off his lap, feeling the marvelous glow of my orgasm. The cum was sliding around my panties making me all sexy and squishy.

I leaned into him and asked as sensuous as I could. "Can I take this out to play?" While rubbing his manhood with my hand. He smiled and I swear he grew three inches. I unzipped him with my long nails and he moved up, I brought his pants down. I started rubbing him through his briefs and then wantonly slid his cock out into the open. It was the first time in years I had a cock in my hand other than my own. He was so huge and hard, I was impressed, he was at least four times larger than my little 'clit.' Ross was all man and he was all mine.

The discovery of Jennifer was just a distant memory in my mind but I felt like I learned something today. I felt like I was maturing, finally growing up, it was a nice warm feeling.

We kissed lightly as I played with his dick, I wanted to do this right, it was our first time. I started rubbing against it with the palm of my hand as his hands went to my breasts again. "You are so hard," I told him like he didn't know. "I love playing with you, I love playing with something this hard," I whispered, I was trying to be flirty and sexy but I knew I was probably sounding like a naive teenage girl. I would have to learn some better banter. I would have to ask Chan.

I looked up at him as he was touching my face and smiling at me when suddenly he tensed. I knew he was going to cum. I knew I was going to love it. I started jerking him off a little faster as his hands went into my hair. He was pulling me to him as he lightly pulled my hair, my real blonde hair. My face was rubbing against his, my hair was in his mouth.

"Sabrina, that feels so great, I'm gonna cum." I started pushing and massaging his cock, I felt like such a young girl. I was loving this. "Ahh..." He moaned as he started spurting jism on my dress and pantyhose. I leaned into him, I rubbed his cock against me, the cotton of my dress now taking all his sperm, I wanted it all on me. Next time I wanted him in my mouth.

We kissed hard again as I cleaned his cock with my blue dress. I was giggling I felt so good, so sensual. My eyes closed and my voice felt like it had gone up another octave. "Mmm, Ross, I don't want to let you go." And I didn't, we stayed like that into the night and we both came again.

We heard Lillian and Chester come home, we stayed quiet, I was glad they didn't mention his car, I was glad they didn't call for me. We smiled when we heard her yell when she yelled at Chester. He apologized, he was learning, it took him a long time.

I looked into Ross's eyes. I was hoping everything would be fine, life would get better. Part of me was hoping my little world didn't fall apart again.

"Ross, can you do something for me?"

"I can. Whatever you want."

And I smiled, I forgot what I wanted him to do, what I wanted to ask. I forgot that some people didn't get mad at little things, at things I asked, or at anything in general. I forgot not everyone was always angry with me.

"Ross, can you hang up my picture?" And he did. And we woke up Chester and Lillian with the light hammering. And then she yelled through the door. My world was back to normal.

"What are you doing? Don't you know it's late?"

We breathed, we let her get mad, we knew it was late. I didn't care. I let him kiss me goodnight standing in front of my new painting, Strange Wine.

"One day we will be making love in this same spot," I whispered, I didn't want anyone to hear, I didn't want anyone to yell through the door. "No more drama, no more exes, no more of anything, just us, and our future orgasms."

And he laughed, he shook his head and kissed me again. Little did he know I wasn't kidding.

***

The End of Episode 2 (Stay tuned for Episodes 3 & 4... and maybe more)

***

Girltime at the Hideaway (Episode 3)
by Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Here is the next Episode of 'Girltime' with Sabrina, Misty, and Chan. Sabrina gets ready for her new career, and tries to make the most of her sabbatical. But first, there is music, ha... there is always music... I hope YOU like it...

***

Episode 3

***

"Hmmm, nine and a half." Dusty Springfield was playing. She was always a nine and a half.

'I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go'

My closet was so organized, dresses on the left, skirts in the middle, and tops and blouses on the right. My shoes were in their original boxes lined up along the floor. I wish I had more room, I wish I had a closet with windows. Mmm, I would love that, In my next life, I am having windows.

'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see?'

The week was going to be so busy, busy. But I didn't care I had on music, I had speakers all over my room, all over my house. One button on my laptop and I could access them all.

'That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
It happens to be true, I only want to be with you'

I set it up last summer, gave me something to occupy my time while the wife, Lillian was hanging with the boyfriend, Chester. But now I was busy, busy, with no time for unimportant things only time for friends, only time for Ross, Dr. P., more exercise, my new job, and of course, Susan, who wanted me to come into the lawyer's office. She wanted to have lunch and go over some things, I couldn't wait.

I wore a smart black turtleneck and a gray skirt with matching sandals. Chan, from the salon, told me not to wear pantyhose with these heels. I also had on my smaller hoops, my business look was perfect but my boobs were still nice and big. I couldn't wait to check my watch, check my phone. I wanted everyone to see a busy, busy 'woman.'

*

It was quite quiet for a Monday afternoon.

"Hi, anybody here?"

"Come in." Susan was waiting for me in her office. "I got some good news and some great news. Do you want to get a cappuccino first or do you want it now?" She smiled.

"Cappucino then news, that's how they do it in the movies."

We went to the cafeteria and sat way in the back, away from the partners and the salmon secretarial pond. Susan laid out everything on the sticky table. "The good news first, your name will be official on the first of next month along with all of your government and state documents. Sign here, and here, Miss Sabrina Giselle Langton."

"That's so wonderful," I smiled. I was getting closer to becoming who I have always wanted to be. I was wondering how I was going to tell Lillian, but I suddenly didn't even care, and I knew she wouldn't either.

"The great news," She said as she got up and sat on her desk in front of me. "There are four bids for your software company, Jukt, one is from Apple."

"Really? I wasn't expecting such a big deal."

She stood up. "Well, it is. Thirty-five million is the highest bid, but forty-six from Apple."

"I don't want to sell to Apple, I want my employees to stay, everyone loves it there, it's a nice place to work. Apple will just absorb it and change everything." I started to panic. "Am I doing the right thing, should I just try to run it, still?"

Susan looked through her folder, she pulled out a couple of pages. "Mmm, I suggest... hmmm..." She thought. "You sell it for the thirty-five, we finish our cappuccinos, then you move on to the next venture."

"Done."

***

When Tuesday came, I was all sorts of excited, about my first day as a Hideaway hostess. Just one quick stop to say hello to Misty and Chan and then I would be spending the rest with Ross. I couldn't wait.

I felt fantastic, with more music, and a simple long-sleeved sweater dress, blue-gray with a geometrical pattern. The hem came just above my knees. I was wearing four-inch gray pumps and my favorite hoop earrings. I wanted to start a little on the conservative side before introducing some of my more interesting and sexy outfits. Just catching my reflection in the mirror was so intoxicating. I kept on waving to myself and myself kept waving back, didn't she know I shouldn't be distracted on my first day?

My lips were dark red matching my long nails, it was my only little sexy indulgence. Well, the only thing that people could see. I was just another 'woman' getting ready for work, that's all, no big deal. I still smiled continuously at myself in the mirror, I was beyond happy, and then... I wasn't.

"What are you rushing around for?" I forgot Lillian was home and I made the mistake of making coffee. She was coming in from the porch. "And why do you look like a fucking school teacher?"

"I'm going to work," I told her. I didn't want to tell her, it just came out. I felt it was the wrong thing to say, but it was too late, I didn't have coffee yet.

"You are not going to work like that, I know everyone at your company. I don't want them to see you dressed up like some fucking sissy. Stay home!" She was scrutinizing my outfit, but I knew it was perfect, I checked with the girls last night.

"Um, I got a hostess job at a restaurant."

"You what?" She stood there looking at me like I was crazy. "You got to be kidding me... a hostess, shit. I thought you were taking a break, you said you needed this sabbatical. Now you are working as a hostess? What are you fucking kiddin' me?"

"It's only a couple of days a week."

"You are ridiculous, and don't let Chester see you like this, he has no respect for you as it is." She then threw the mail at me. "Here... Fuck!" I don't know why she was suddenly so interested or mad, she was probably only worried I would somehow embarrass her.

I was a little upset as I picked up the mail, but the thought of being with Ross all day superseded it.

***

"Hello welcome to The Hideaway," The very large Elaine, said that was one of the only lines I needed to utter at my job. The others were; "How many in your party," and "Follow me." I was thinking I could handle that, even highly excited in high heels. Especially in high heels.

Ross watched as Elaine trained me for my new position, I was pretty delighted. Beforehand I went across the street to just visit the women but Chan decided to re-do my hair. She parted it on the side and it met on my right shoulder, showing off my golden hoop. I looked way too cute, the girls said I was going to be very popular today and I couldn't wait to find out what that meant.

Before I trained with Elaine, I went to see the boss. I knocked and he told me to come in. I love that he stood up as I got closer. "Mr. Marler? I'm ready to work." I was shy I had my hands in front of my face, I was shifting from one heel to another.

I could tell he was a little nervous, I don't think he was expecting me to come in all shy and girlie. "Um, yes, um sit down."

It's funny how this past weekend I had his hard cock in my hands and his tongue in my mouth and now he was all business. I decided I was going to have fun with it. "I'm a little nervous sir, I'm sorry. I wish I wore something a little shorter."

"Um, no that's okay, it's short enough. Sabrina sit, relax. Do you want a drink?"

I smiled "Maybe later. Maybe two, a lot later." I stood up and walked to the other side of his desk and sat down. I crossed my legs and bit my lip. My fingers played in my hair.

He watched as I wiggled my bottom, moving his pens and papers with my ass, knocking over his empty coffee mug, making him believe I was trying to get more comfortable.

"You look so good, it is going to be hard getting anything done today." He smiled.

"Really? Is there anything I can do about it? I mean anything, sir? I'm here to please."

And then it was just us, I moved onto his lap and he was kissing me and playing with my hair. He rubbed my breasts and kissed my neck. I bounced a little on his lap wondering if he would like it and if it would make him excited. I wasn't going to leave this office without him cumming.

I kissed him, his lips, and then his mouth, it felt wonderful. I needed this in my life, I needed more positive reinforcement. "Thank you again. Thank you for letting me do this." I told him as he kissed me and I pushed down on his cock, feeling him through the thin dress. His manhood was so hard, pressing through his gaberdine and against my ass. His hand slipped under my dress and onto my pantyhose, I felt him make his way to my panties. He started rubbing me, I acted all surprised.

"Mmm, Mr. Marler do you treat all your employees this good?" I cooed in his ear as he laughed.

I rotated my ass, feeling his cock grow and throb, then he started to cum. I was so excited I made him spurt into his dress slacks. I rubbed his chest and played with his hair some more as we made out, squeaking in his chair with wheels. Now I could relax for the rest of the day. Just another Tuesday, letting the boss play with my legs and breasts.

*

I dusted myself off and headed to the front door. I felt so much more alive after being with Ross, so much more sexy, more interesting, and ready to take on the customers, and the day. The distant memory of Lillian's angst was very far behind me.

At eleven-thirty some lunch customers came in and very pregnant Elaine helped me escort them to tables. Once she was satisfied I understood the basics she left me to it. I was now officially one of the hostesses, I was more than thrilled, I had a perfect feminine job.

Soon I was quite busy, but I never got tired of smiling. I introduced myself to everyone who came in. "Hi, I'm the new girl, Sabrina, make sure you tell the bartender I am doing a great job." I would wink and smile. Everybody seemed to be having fun, having a great day. I was hoping I was making it slightly better. After lunch, it quieted down but later more people came just to sit at the bar.

While I was waiting outside, waving to the cars a man came in asking for the owner, he was carrying a cooler.

"Hi, I'm from 'Over There Brewery.'"

I looked behind him, trying to be cute, "Over there?" I pointed.

"Ha, maybe just a little further." He smiled and put down his cooler. "I was hoping to see if they would serve my beer here. I'm not doing too good today." The man told me with a sad smile. I went in first to check with Brian and then I brought the man to the corner of the bar, Misty's spot. And then left them to go back to my post.

The Hideaway was suddenly quite busy and I filled up most of the tables in the main restaurant area. I was having fun. I was completely over my nervousness, actually, I couldn't believe I was worried about meeting so many people today, everyone was so lovely. Chan and Misty came to visit me to make sure I wasn't messing up and putting people in the kitchen or the insurance office next door.

"I have been using my GPS just in case," I told them with a smile.

As they left Chan yelled from across the street. "Don't get too comfortable, there is always room for advancement, ha-ha."

*

The man from the brewery was saying goodbye to Brian and Ross, As I was erasing some of the specials we ran out of, off the blackboard outside.

"How did it go?"

He made a face, "Eh, they said they don't have another empty tap for another beer."

"Mmm. Is your beer great?"

"Ha, it is."

I wondered. "We get a lot of people in and out of here all day. Mmm, why don't you just give them a keg? I will put something on the blackboard here, I have just a little power but don't tell anyone." I shrugged. "It will be good to get the name out on the street. No?" I giggled.

"I don't know?" He said.

"It will be given away or sold and people will be drinking your beer in a popular bar, with a popular hostess, in a popular part of LA. Just a thought."

"You know what? Okay. I'll bring one over, what do we have to lose? I will put your name on it. In bright red marker." He laughed, I gave him my name. It was probably the closest thing he had to luck all day.

***

I was getting ready to go, letting the next hostess take over when I spotted a familiar face.

"How was the first day?" Pavani asked as she walked up to the front of the Hideaway.

"Better than I would have ever imagined." I smiled and hugged her. I told her Ross hung the picture, 'Strange Wine' that she gifted me, and I showed her the shot I took of it on my phone.

"Saturday we are having a party at my house, I want you to come and see all the lovely pieces I have. I want someone to come who will appreciate it, haha. Everyone else will be there for the food and drinks, haha."

"Oh my God, really?"

"Of course. You will brighten up the party, tell the boss, heh. Plus I want you to meet my two sons, I want to show them off to a pretty woman. I also have something of a surprise." She winked and waved goodbye.

***

This week I was having so much fun. I avoided Lillian and Chester as much as possible. I started using my side door of the house more, they didn't even know if I was home or not. As long as I kept the music low.

I realized all I had to do was keep the house relatively clean and full of the type of food they usually eat in the fridge, then they would leave me alone. I still did their laundry and got their dry cleaning, they kept me busy but I didn't mind. As long as I didn't have to talk to them life was so wonderful.

The next time at work, Thursday at the Hideaway I met so many more people. The bar was much more crowded than on Tuesday, it was more fun and noisier. I took a break and was invited to hang out with three men who worked next door at the Insurance office. Bill, Derek, and Hutch told me they usually came in for late lunch on Mondays and Fridays but they wanted to meet the new hostess.

"Ooh, I hope I get to meet her too. I heard so much about her." I kidded with them, I looked around.

Brian said they have been coming in for years.

While I was hovering at the bar the man from 'Over There' walked in, and I greeted him like we had known each other for years. Brian immediately hooked the tap up to his keg. My name was bright red on the top of it. Soon the six of us were drinking something hazy and bitter, it was quite wonderful.

"What do we call this beer?" Brian asked the brewer.

"Sabrina's Hazy Red IPA, of course."

Of course.

***

Saturday

Ross was all excited to be going to the Vasa's, he figured he would meet so many people who would book parties and meetings at the Hideaway. He was all ready to give prices and menu ideas, he was very happy that I let him accompany me.

"You better be nice to me or I might take Brian instead." I would then smile, I was turning into a flirt.

Friday during Girltime I told Misty and Chan about the party and they insisted I come into the salon beforehand to get ready.

I walked out of the shower at their salon in two towels, one around my hair and another around my body. They put me in a strapless beige bra, corset, panties, and nude seamless pantyhose. Chan fixed my hair giving me a high ponytail, I was nervous, I wanted my hair in my face. I realized long ago that I could always hide behind my bangs or long wig if I got nervous. I was usually nervous.

I turned left, then right looking at my ponytail in the mirror. "Chan, do I look okay? I don't know if I am comfortable showing my ugly face this much."

She stood behind me, I could see her scrunched face in the mirror. "You have got to be kidding me." She hit me on the head with her brush.

"Oww."

She then put on my makeup, paying attention mostly to my eyes. She gave me longer than-usual false lashes and a slight pink eyeshadow. I was still nervous. Misty put dangling earrings on me, they were long ovals with gold hearts at the bottom. They were very feminine. Then I was given dark pink lips, they always looked larger and plumper when I went to the salon.

Chan stood behind me. "Well? Still nervous?"

"Nope?" I was but I didn't want to tell her that. I didn't want to get hit again. I shook my head more vigorously, I wanted to see how my earrings bounced around my cheeks anyway. Then they showed me my dress and I got tense all over again. It was a strapless dark pink party dress. It matched my lips and long nails perfectly. Chan slid it up my body and zipped me up in the back. The dress was full and frilly and the hem came to a couple of inches above my knees. The top completely covered my breasts. The women put only my C-cup forms in and I looked perfect. I held onto Chan as I slipped on my five-inch nude pumps with a slight platform. I looked like I could be ready for a party.

"Should I be showing so much skin?" I asked innocently. studying my shoulders and arms in the mirror.

"Do you want me to get the brush?" Chan looked at me a little too excited, ready to start hitting me again.

"No, I'm fine."

It was now the three of us in front of the mirror, I wish I was more like them. Just glancing at them in the reflection, they had so much confidence and charisma, they were both stunning. I hope at least a little of their confidence was rubbing off on me, I wish I could bottle it and spray it on with my perfume. I would share it with everybody. I then put on a little bit of my Chanel and a squirt of breath freshener.

They were both smiling at me. "I should win an award." Chan mentioned while she fluffed my ponytail, "I turned a hostess into a diva. Make sure you fill my tip jar." She laughed as she gave me my nude clutch, filled with things she said I would need. By the time Ross came to collect me, I wasn't nervous anymore, mainly because he loved my shoulders.

***

Ross took my hand as he helped me into his car, I loved this. I loved being the passenger. I slipped in, my clutch in my lap, my legs crossed. I smiled at him, I was having fun already. Living with Lillian was so tough, actually, it was hard work. Once she discovered I was transgendered it was all downhill. She was nasty, she was arrogant, she did nothing but curse at me. She said I ruined her life but look at all the money she made while we were married. She benefitted from my business. She even met a man, someone who I assumed loved her. And not only that, I did all of the housework, and her laundry and all she had to do was pay the bills. She would never trust me with any money. Plus they had sex so much more than when I was involved, but that could have been my fault. I certainly didn't even like her anymore, I'm not even sure I ever did, she just convinced me it was time to get married. I used to be such a pushover, but now... I was going to a party.

I had to focus. I was looking at Ross, he was so handsome, he was so assured of himself, now he was stuck with me, Chan, and Misty's little project. He was getting over his deceased girlfriend and now he had to deal with me, a nervous, needy transgirl. "Ross?" I had to ask, I had to make sure I was reading our situation correctly. "Are you having fun? I mean in general."

He looked at me, he looked quite concerned that I was crazy or on the stranger side of things. Misty always told me I was weird and I was used to this look. They must compare notes with each other because it was way too similar.

"I am." He reached over and kissed me. "I think I might be having too much fun, is that a thing?"

"It is. When you are not having too much fun anymore, I want you to tell me, okay? Then I can call for some backup."

He laughed, "Okay." I thought it was a weird thing to tell him, but I wasn't kidding as we headed to the Hills.

*

Ross helped me out of the car, I gripped his hand. I stood up in my little dress and heels and felt the soft breeze on my stockings. I felt so femme, so tall, so much like a girl, what if someone realized I wasn't? What would happen if someone looked at me funny, or said something I wasn't prepared for? My mind was suddenly on overload, this was why I sometimes stayed hidden in my room.

"I have never been here before." He said as he looked over to the huge mansion, looking towards the sky.

I moved closer to him, I think as long as I was close to Ross or even Pavani I would probably be okay. Even a call to Misty from one of the secluded bathrooms would probably make me feel better. I felt better with a plan.

Suddenly he grabbed me from behind and kissed my neck, I realized that was his favorite part of me. Not my breasts, my legs, my hair. No, it was my neck, a part of my body I couldn't femininize. Thank God I was blessed with a very unnoticeable Adam's apple. I wondered if he liked Jennifer's neck as much as mine, I wanted him to love my hair, my fingers, my legs, my voice, but I had no control. Whatever he loved, he loved. Whatever he wanted to rub against or kiss was going to have to be okay with me.

The Vasa's lived in a tremendous villa in Beverly Hills, it was beautiful. Ramesh and Pavani greeted us at the door. I gave Pavani a necklace, that Misty ordered for me. It was a holograph of the moon, it was the size of a Susan B. Anthony coin. Like anyone would even remember what that was.

"Oh my, it's so beautiful." She held it up and showed the woman next to her, it was quite a wonderful necklace. I always tried to make someone happy, I wanted everyone a little happier than me. "Did you know my name means Full Moon?"

I smiled, "I did."

There was one unknown thing about me. I knew too much. Too much of nothing. I was always reading, doing research, looking up things for the sake of looking up things. I had hundreds of words that I loved in a memo on my phone. That was part of my personality. I knew so much about music, movies, art, almost anything unimportant to others. I was a wonderful conversationist if I wasn't nervous or tense or quiet. I was a great party guest if I wasn't hiding in the bathroom. I was guessing wearing heels would make me even better at all of those things, or at the least, taller.

Soon we held beautiful glasses of Cabernet and we walked around the party. There was so much artwork on the walls and statues and figurines all over the stylish furniture. It took me forever to get into the main room, Ross was totally amused as I dragged him from wall to wall. I loved art and I especially loved someone's art in their homes, the things they themselves loved and saw every day. I felt like a pain in the ass moving from piece to piece but I was excited by the decor, the smell of the food, and the handsomeness of the guests. I'm sure everyone was wondering who invited this random 'woman' with the great heels and hot boyfriend, or maybe they weren't, maybe I was just in the way saying 'excuse me' too much.

Ross knew I was having a good time and introduced me to so many people he knew, he was amazed I remembered everyone's name. I also noticed how many glances I was getting in my dress. I felt both men and women were checking me out, inspecting my outfit. I originally felt I was showing too much skin, but looking at what the other women wore, I started to feel quite conservative. I would never doubt Chan again. I made Ross take a picture of us and I immediately sent it to them. I wanted them to see how nice we looked together. I just wrote 'Thank You, You Two.' and Misty wrote back 'Don't spill anything on that dress!'

I lost Ross for a couple of minutes and ended up talking to a couple of women with nicer dresses and jewelry than mine. Their hair was so beautiful I wanted to run my fingers through it, I wanted to stick my fingers through their earrings. But then surprisingly, they complimented my hair, and also my nails, and it made me so happy. I think they were genuine and it made me feel so good. I told them about the salon, and I said to use my name, "or maybe you betta' not." They both laughed. Chan's tip jar was going to be so full the next time I saw her... then I would hide it.

I walked around the party again. I was studying some sculptures on the piano, by someone that I didn't know. I asked one of the two women close to me to hold it up so I could take a picture of the signature. I told her I was too clumsy and smiled showing her my long nails. I was enjoying myself, I felt the slight air-con on my pantyhose legs. Suddenly someone held my waist, I felt a kiss on my neck again. Ross was back and I introduced him to the two women at the piano.

"Sabrina?"

I heard Pavani calling me so we made our way over.

"I want you to meet Meghan." We took each other's hands, she was as tall as me in her heels. "Meghan works at the gallery with me."

"I love it there, you are very lucky," I told her.

"And I heard you have our 'Strange Wine' print, I would love to see where you hung it up. I'm sure it changed the whole feel of the house."

I checked my thin watch, "Well we can go now, but the security men are surrounding it. We are going to have to peer over their shoulders." We giggled and we talked for quite a while, I was liking her very much. We both had so much experience in galleries and museums. I just wished I could tell her all my stories. All my stories from New York City when I was male. Even most of the ones from California were too. I would need to get more. I skipped the part where I worked in computers and hardware.

The Vasa's and Meghan told me the names and artists of all the artwork we passed that I didn't know, and we soon ended up one floor below surrounded by even more beautiful people, more paintings, more sculptures. Some I could probably tell a little tidbit of information on but I held it in, I was getting over-excited.

We were suddenly surrounded by more guests and Pavani made us sit at a beautiful Parisian-type bar. I loved sitting on a barstool crossing my legs, just like at the Hideaway. Little things like this made me very happy. My legs looked incredible, my heels very sexy showing the pink of my toes, the hem of the dress was so flattering. I had to stop myself from rubbing my silky legs with my long fingers.

I looked up, "Have you ever had Absinthe?" Ramesh held up a bottle as I shook my head, and read the label. Ross said he had it when he visited Europe. They poured a little bit into a glass and added a drop of water and a sugar cube. "Usually we put it in this decanter, but it is just as wonderful like this.

They passed out little glasses and we raised them. "Cheers."

I took a little sip. It was wonderful, it was bitter, and I felt it travel throughout my whole body. I felt quite warm and content. Pavani watched me as I took another sniff and another tentative sip. I felt like I was in another world. Whenever I tried something new, I put my entire attention and focus on it. Just like the beer from 'Over There,' I wanted an opinion ready just in case someone asked. In my head I always gave things a score of one to ten, I was always rating things, I have done this since I was young. I made the mistake of telling Lillian I did that, and she told me to go to a Psychiatrist, she thought I was crazy. Maybe I was, but I still have a great system.

The Absinthe was a nine. The party was off the scale. Lillian? Eh.

I felt Ross's arm around me and someone was talking to me, but I had my eyes closed, I was feeling the liqueur slide down my throat making its way through my body. I imagined I could follow its descent. I was enjoying this moment immensely. I needed to feel it go through my body, my new feminine body. I opened my eyes, my lashes fluttering.

"I am guessing you like it?"

I smiled, all four of them were watching me. I didn't say anything, my eyes went up and I made a very satisfied face. I was saving this look until Ross made love to me, but it was how I felt at that moment.

Ross kissed my cheek, "When Sabrina loves something she can get easily distracted."

We made our way back upstairs, the Vasa's about to move on to other guests. Soon a younger man walked over to talk to Pavani and Romesh while we were on the steps. "Sabrina this is my son, he has something to show you."

He went back downstairs and I followed leaving the others on the steps to their own devices and drinks.

"My mother tells me you will like this." We walked into his room, it was quiet, I felt a little funny having some of the guests see me entering her son's bedroom. I could imagine they were talking about me. He then pointed above his desk. "This is a Martín Ramírez sketch, it's from 1950."

"Wow," I looked up, it was quite amazing. I had only seen these before and ones similar to it on the web, it was probably untitled and it was of a train and tunnel. I had never seen a Ramírez in real life. "It's beautiful. Can I get closer?"

"Sure, here." He gave me a little stool and I kneeled on his desk. My silky knees knocking things over. I felt a little unstable in my heels but I had to have a more intimate look. The sketch was beautiful and it was original. I loved it, my heart was beating a little faster than usual, it was the exact type of art I loved. I studied, I spied the signature, I didn't want to leave, this party was turning into something else, something amazing. No one would ever know how much fun I was having, hidden in this dark bedroom. I told him a little history about the print, about a book I once read, and even a little about the author.

He laughed as he helped me down, "You are the only one to ask for a closer look, my parents gave it to me because I love trains. They tell me it's priceless."

"It is, but more importantly is that you love it. Anything you love is priceless. Remember that should always be the priority, money and color and history are second." I smiled at him and both of us laughed. "What the hell am I talking about?" I felt the alcohol running through my body. He smiled at me and he showed me a couple of other things he had hung up, even some of his own drawings.

We went back out into the hall with people again. "Wait, Miss Sabrina, before we go up let us have a quick drink. Have you seen our bar?" Once again I was sitting on a stool, making eye contact with others, my legs crossed enjoying a drink. I had something new with sugar and Champagne. Of course, it was wonderful.

"This is my favorite part of the entire house. This bar, surrounded by windows and artwork, is where I always do my homework. And the art surrounding us is all from my parents' hometown in India."

I looked around, the artwork was so interesting, I was so comfortable here. "It's nice, I want to get a book, take this drink, and lounge on that little couch. I would soak up the sun through the window and the ambiance of the artwork." I smiled and we finished our drinks, I could easily get comfortable and assimilate very quickly.

*

I found Ross talking to some women, they were all quite beautiful. It's crazy but I never felt like I was beautiful, or cute or even attractive. Standing next to a cis woman always made me feel inferior. Being with Misty and Chan made me feel slightly better, they were always giving me compliments and always told me I was doing fine. Now here I was at this party, a party filled with friends and acquaintances, and I felt quite good about myself. My hair looked so nice and I was wearing an expensive designer dress and heels, I could see some of my reflection in a far-off mirror. I looked like a regular party guest and I was now hanging onto the arms of a man with my long pink nails, one that I had recently kissed. I was quite content. Wait... It also could be from the alcohol swirling through my system.

I was now holding another glass of red. "Thank you," I told the man in the black jacket, or was it a sculpture? Was I talking to inanimate objects now?

There was a tap on my shoulder, a tall young man was talking to me. "Hi, Sabrina?"

I smiled, I squinted, I felt so popular all of a sudden. Both Ross and the women turned around. "That's me,"

"I was asked to show you my Polaroid collection."

"Another son?"

"Heheh I am."

I kissed Ross on the lips, right in front of the beautiful women. I drew my body into him, I put my ponytail into his face, and whispered, "I will be right back, don't you move." I wanted them to know he was mine, he was taken, I waved to them as I walked away. I followed the second son. Once again we went downstairs, passed the party-goers. Once again I was sneaking into a younger man's bedroom. I was hoping people were watching, gossiping about me this time.

I looked back to see who was talking about the sneaky blonde. 'Did you see that woman in pink? She was in and out of the boys' bedrooms the entire party. Well did you get a load of her legs in that dress? She is such a flirt, and I think I saw her with a man, an older man by the way. No way. Yes, way. Look she keeps on adjusting the top of that crazy frilly dress she has on.'

I was giggling to myself as I made a fanciful conversation in my head. Here I was in another bedroom. Here I was looking once again at a wall.

Once I focused on the subdued light I was pleasantly surprised. "Oh my God." I moved closer, there were about a dozen pictures. All people I recognized. I put down my wine and bag and moved closer. "Are these taken by Patti Smith?"

"Ha, yes they are, my mother said you would know."

It was crazy how the artwork and pictures in this house were just as special and incredible as in their gallery, maybe even better. I was mesmerized, I studied every single one. The son left me alone with the pictures, I imagined being there when they were being taken, being in the background at CBGB or the Factory. Waiting for Candy Darling and a cab on The Bowery, freezing in my strapless dress. I loved Polaroids as an art form, I loved the look, the intention, even the white frame surrounding the photo.

I was about halfway down the wall when I was handed another cocktail. "Sabrina this has egg whites in it. Is that okay?"

I turned around as I was handed a frothy drink. "Um, am I in heaven right now?" I smiled, I was very happy when someone made me something. "A drink and something to view, something to learn, ha." I sipped as we looked through the rest of the pictures and I told him the names of every one of the celebrities in them. New York in the seventies, that was my major, my shtick, my modus operandi. That was what I knew better than almost anything, even more than the Dillons or outsider art. That was my hometown, the old neighborhood.

I was enjoying the drink and the pictures but I felt I was spending too much time away from Ross, I was so missing holding onto a man. I wanted to go back upstairs and act like a girl. We downed our drinks and we went back upstairs. I had to stop and look at the glare of another picture to lick the froth off of my perfect pink lips. I then felt for my tongue with my fingers, it felt like it disappeared. The other son then deposited me back where we started. I was a little unsteady.

"Hi." I put my arms around Ross's neck and held on from the back. "Mmm," I then kissed him on the shoulder. I nuzzled into him, I think I could have taken a nap.

"Hey, I missed you." He turned around and kissed me, it was nice.

I looked at his lips. "Aww, aren't you so cute?" I touched his cheek. "You are a TEN, so stop being so nice to me already."

*

The rest of the party was wonderful, I think I ate, I know I had another red wine. I suddenly knew I couldn't stand. "Ross I don't feel so good."

He deposited me on the couch and told me he would be right back. I was leaning against a huge man. I looked at him "Are you another wall?"

"I am."

I squinted, he was slightly blurry. I sniffed, I felt his arm, his chest, his nose, I squeezed him, my long pink nails were a blur. "You are a wall that talks, I am a little scared." He put his arm around me, I felt better. Ross came back with Pavani and the two of them helped me up. I said goodbye to the wall.

"Pavani that wall needs a picture."

I ended up on a bed, it was so comfortable, I was so warm. I felt a blanket go over me, I felt my silky feet rub against each other. I panicked, I opened my eyes. I saw a blur. "MY PUMPS!"

I heard Ross laugh as he rummaged. "Here you are." I took them into my hand and put them under my chin, I must of had a very big smile on my face. "Ahh, thank you, Mister." I fell asleep, right away. I dreamt I was at a wonderful party, one that smelled of leather.

*

I woke up slowly, I still had the smell of my pumps to comfort me. I was in a pale blue room, pale blue comforter, pale blue glow from the sun. I got up. I had a slight pounding in the back of my eyes. I sat on the bed, there was a man on the floor, under another blanket. I dropped my pumps just missing him. Was I still at the party? It was Ross curled up on the floor, there was so much room on the bed. I felt bad that he probably had an uncomfortable night. I climbed over him and went into the bathroom. I looked at all the art on the way. More beautiful artwork, all were from album covers, all from the seventies, I had recognized every one of them. I had to force myself away from the prints and head into the bathroom before my bladder exploded.

The blonde in the mirror still looked pretty good. Her lips and eye makeup seemed to have survived the night.

My hair was still up in the pony and still looked perfect. I got undressed and jumped into the shower. I was feeling better. I couldn't believe I drank too much, I could drink people under the table, even over the table. I had tried so many different things last night, maybe I just wasn't used to it. I started feeling bad, I hoped I didn't ruin the party. I hoped I didn't make a scene. I could just imagine calling Misty and Chan. 'Hi I made a scene, but my dress is clean.'

I put back on my bra and panties and left off the corset and stockings. Thankfully the dress slipped on without them. I fixed my makeup and put on my pumps. I slipped on my watch, it was 10:00 AM. I didn't want to wake Ross, I glanced again at the artwork and then I quietly went out the door. I was downstairs near the sons' bedrooms, it was quiet. I saw the perfect spot, the day bed next to the bar, and wished I could live there. I next tried to quietly make it up the stairs, a woman saw me and took my hand. She led me into the kitchen, I think she was my fairy godmother because she gave me coffee.

"Good morning." I turned around it was Pavani. "Are you going to another party?" She smiled looking at my dress, she didn't seem upset with me. Maybe I DIDN'T make a scene.

"Good morning, I'm sorry about last night."

"What? Sorry you had such a great time, sorry you met so many people, or sorry you made my sons very, very happy, having a beautiful woman enter their bedrooms."

"Um, all three?"

"Ha, don't be silly. There are a couple of stragglers somewhere in the house. I just said goodbye to two of them." Pavani left and came back with a long black shirt and put it around me. I went into another bathroom and changed. I was going to miss my pink dress but now I looked ready for a Sunday morning, still in my heels.

The kitchen was slowly filling up with people. Romesh, the two sons, and another two people saying goodbye and thank you.

Pavani watched me as I poured another coffee. "See you weren't the only one staying the night."

"I'm surprised, usually I can easily handle my liquor. Actually, I now work in a bar, I'm quite a professional." I giggled.

"I'm sorry Sabrina, we shouldn't have had that Absinthe drink." One of the sons said.

"Really? I made her an Absinthe sour." The other one told us.

Pavani got up and looked into my eyes. "Wait so you had three glasses of Absinthe. Stick out your tongue." I did. "No wonder you were knocked out. Boys tell her you are sorry for getting her loopy."

They did, but I didn't care, "All the drinks were so good. I just loved the frothy one. I lost all feeling on my tongue after that." I giggled.

Ross then walked in and one of the sons gave him coffee. He put his arms around me. "How are you feeling?"

"Very good." I moved into his arms.

"The boys gave their 'Art Teacher' here more of the green fairy. It is only about ninety proof. Sabrina will be back to normal in a couple of days."

"Actually after another coffee, I feel pretty good so far. Maybe we should play tennis or golf, I'm dressed for it." I smiled and stretched.

"Or go out for a champagne brunch." Pavani stood and poured more coffee.

"I'm just glad you got to sleep with your pumps." Ross laughed.

"Oh my god, me too."

*

Before we left Pavani made a call. She then handed me a number. "Call Monday. I'm am sorry about the boys, this will make up for it. You know you made quite an impression on Meghan too. The boys told me you were very interesting and that they learned quite a bit more about their art. You would make a wonderful presenter and teacher."

"Would I? Well, just seeing the Patti Smith pictures and those prints made my life so much more wonderful." I was holding onto Ross and Pavani was smiling at me. "I will never forget it, thank you so much." And I hugged her. "I would love to investigate the rest of the house."

"Well, that could be easily arranged, ha. And thank you for the present. I am wearing it," She showed me, it felt like a month ago that I gave it to her. "You know what?" She held my hand, I assumed she was studying my quick makeup job. "I was just thinking, you were so comfortable with everyone at the party, and you were so glamorous and popular. You also know a lot of information about everything, even things I didn't expect you to know about. Would you like to work at the gallery?"

I closed my eyes, did I not wake up yet? I opened them again.

"Sabrina? Are you okay, you seem a little glassy-eyed? Just nod if it's a yes."

I think I nodded.

***

The End of Episode 3... stay tuned for more...

Girltime at the Hideaway (Episode 4)
by Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hi... next, just a little bit of shopping. In real life, I never, shop like this. I would love too, of course, but it never happens. Unfortunately online is the way I go. Sometimes, I will gather up the nerve and take a friend to GoodWill, a consignment store or charity shop. Sometimes I find something to love, usually a top or sweater, and it makes me quite happy for a long time, ha... I love that someone loved it before me... Oh well, I am slightly crazy. Here is the next episode and I hope YOU like it...

***
Episode 4

***

I had so many things to tell Chan and Misty. Another job, that's crazy. Lillian will be even more angry with me. I was so relaxed the entire ride home, I had my seatbelt on and I was tilted toward Ross. I had my cheek on the seat watching him, my eyes were half-open. I had such a good time last night, last week. Life was starting to get wonderful. I couldn't believe how things had turned out.

"Ross?"

"Mmm."

"I sold my company."

"Really? That's great. So I suppose you are going to let me give you more hours?"

I smiled, I was suddenly so tired, I watched his hands on the wheel and imagined his fingers in my hair. I looked at his thighs, they were thick and strong, I imagined they would look so sexy surrounding my body. We stopped at a light, I looked up at his eyes. "Thank you for staying with me last night."

He grinned.

We got to the front of my house too soon, my imagination was in overdrive. He helped me out of the car, I had my dress and clutch in my hand. I wouldn't be able to put my arms around his neck when he said goodbye to me. Maybe I will invite him in, make love to him.

He kissed me, it was nice, I pushed my body into his. We were making out in front of the block, in front of the people walking their dogs. His arms around me, his fingers on my strapless bra. I heard Lillian yelling behind the door, Chester must have gotten in her way. I looked at Ross, I didn't want him to meet them. I didn't want him to be subjected to their bad karma. "Tsk, please call me later.

He smiled, "I will," He kissed me again.

***

I stayed in my room, I stayed quiet, I went to sleep early and dreamt Ross stayed over.

Once Monday morning hit, I knew I was going to be busy. After Lillian left for work I slipped on shorts, heels, and a top, cleaned the house, washed the dishes, did the laundry, and then got on my phone.

"Hello, Pavani Vasa asked me to call."

"Oh, yes, Sabrina... Langton?"

"Mmm-mmm."

"I have eight tickets for fashion week at the forum, do you want me to messenger them over to you?"

Ooh, I was excited, I wasn't expecting this. "Um, I can pick them up." She gave me the address, I would go when I went to visit Susan at the lawyers, or get my prescription, or see Dr. P the therapist.

There was a sudden commotion at the front door, my heart dropped, Lillian was home. I heard her make her way through the house. She was yelling and cursing, just a regular day for her.

There was a banging on my door. I didn't want to open it, life was too good to have to deal with the avalanche I call Lillian. "Hi, what's the matter?"

She looked at me, she was annoyed. "Where the fuck did you put my laptop?"

"Um, I didn't move it."

"And what the fuck are you wearing?" She was looking at me, she was pressing my boobs, "You are so ridiculous."

I was in a crop top and shorts, denim shorts, they were very tight, my crotch looked perfect in these and my ass cheeks were hanging out. My belly was showing and the top of my forms were peering out. I knew I looked pretty sexy, I shouldn't have been presenting so much cleavage to talk to Lillian, I wasn't prepared. I walked out, to help her find the laptop.

She dumped my basket of laundry, all my lingerie was on the floor. I'm sure it wasn't hiding in there. "This is what you wear, you really are a fucking sissy." She kicked it around, she was so unpleasant. I found her laptop not a moment too soon. It was right by the door in a shopping bag. I apologized just to get her to leave. She slammed the door and called me a couple of names I couldn't spell.

***

I had on another gray wrap dress and black stockings, I looked very professional. I had a nice thick belt around my waist and it gave my midsection perfect definition. I slipped into three-inch black chunky heels and grabbed my matching pocketbook.

First I went to the lawyers, legally my name wouldn't be changed for another couple of weeks but Susan gave me everything I needed. Even a form for my new driver's license. She changed all my credit cards and all my city and state items had my new name. She also said the money from the sale of the business was already in my bank account under my brand-new name. The name I gave myself when I was a teen.

"You are going to have to invest, or buy something big." Susan laughed, "We are going to need a tax write-off. Also, I checked your prenup and you don't even have to tell you know who."

"Ooh, I didn't even think of that."

"I will also have the divorce papers for you two to sign later this week. I could drop it off at the bar, we could have a drink."

"We could... or two" I hugged her and then said goodbye to everyone else, I was quite popular here. I told her when I got more settled, I would get everyone together for a thank-you lunch. I knew a great sushi restaurant.

Next, I went to the pharmacy and then to my Therapist's appointment, Dr. P. He was telling me, "The best thing you can do is work, and talk to people, get comfortable. I am not really worried about your transition, you have those two wonderful women to help you. I wish every transgender woman and man had two people like them, I hope you realize how lucky you are."

I smiled, I realized it. I thought about it every day.

I told him about my relationship with Ross and he seemed surprised. "Of course, it was completely set up by Misty and Chan."

"Well, that's okay then, if they are friends, it will be fine. I approve." He laughed and took my hand.

"I just feel a little embarrassed."

"Really about what?" He started to write on his pad.

"Ross and I have known each other for only a couple of weeks now, but I don't really know when to start having, um, sex. I feel way too nervous about it."

"Are you talking to Lillian about this?

"No, definitely not."

He started to think, he leaned back. "You know what? Introduce this new guy to Lillian and Chester, let them meet him. Let them see how you have changed and grown."

"Do I have to?"

"Ha, you are an adult you can do what you want, ha. I think you will have closure once these two worlds meet. Then all of you can move on. I also would like to see this Ross, I wouldn't mind meeting your two friends too."

I made tentative plans, all my friends at my doctor's visit, that should be fun. I will have to bring extra chairs.

***

My last stop was at the offices of Betsey Johnson, I was going to meet one of Pavani's friends.

"Hi, sit." She told me as I walked in, she was very tall and striking. I handed her a bottle of wine while I took in her outfit. Her dress was pretty amazing I would love to dress up for work like this every day. "I have eight tickets. Friday, opening night at the forum."

"Thank you so much, I can't wait." She handed me an envelope and then pulled something out of her desk.

She was looking at me, she seemed impressed somehow, "I love your dress, the color is perfect on you. I wish I could wear gray." I smiled as she stapled some things together and handed them to me. "We are having, well sort of a sale I guess, at one of our locations. It's Wednesday night, real quick from seven to about eight."

I looked at the papers she gave me, they were blank and had an address attached to them. "Ooh, I love your designs."

"You are going to love this, I just have the three tickets. But just go to that address and have fun, they are going to love you, you are gorgeous."

She then got a call. So I smiled, thanked her, and left. I couldn't wait to tell Chan and Misty.

***

"So, let me get the calendar." Misty seemed pretty surprised by my sudden socialness. "And you are making these plans to go out, I'm very proud of you."

"Me too, I'm proud too, I want credit!" Chan yelled from the back, she was working on one of her clients.

"I'm sorry it's so sudden, I'll understand if you are busy."

"We are getting unbusy for Betsey and fashion week." Misty laughed and wrote it in the book. "So Wednesday, a quick drink, and then we head downtown to the store, and Friday we get glammed up and prepared to be fawned over."

"I was going to order a limo, who else should we take? My therapist says I should take Lillian."

She stopped and looked at me, "Really? Well, that's an interesting development. We can discuss it when we go shopping if you want."

"I want to go shopping!" Chan was still yelling from the back studio. "Make sure I am part of this!"

Misty walked in to talk to her. "Of course, you are part of this... you are driving."

***

Wednesday

The three of us did have a quick drink at the Hideaway, a surprise Girltime on a Wednesday. I made them finish off the keg of my Red IPA, Brian said it went very quickly and he was going to order some more. Then we headed to the Betsey Johnson outlet.

Misty was looking at the address on the ticket, then up at the storefront. "It looks closed, do you think it's the right place?"

I got out and checked, all the lights were off and the sign said it closed at 6:00 PM. "We must have missed it." Then the lights went on and the girls got out of the car. "Should we go in? Are we early?"

Chan was leaning on the window, a tall woman popped up right in front of her and beckoned us in. "Shit, she scared the crap out of me." We laughed as we headed inside.

The young girl introduced herself, "I'm Connie, here are your bags, find something you can't live without. Mwah!" She locked the door again, and then she was gone.

We walked around the store for quite a while, I found three complete outfits, and then on the wall, I saw the most perfect dress. It was a long gown, copper-colored with a split right up the left leg. I fell in love with it. Connie helped me take it down. I tried it on, I thought I would cry.

She was rubbing my shoulder, "See I knew you would find something you couldn't live without. Can I ask you something?" She now had her hand on her chin.

"Okay."

She then brought me further away from the two women. I had to look up at her she was very tall, she had a lot of hair, and she smelled incredible. "You are so beautiful, please don't be offended but, um, are you trans?"

It's crazy but no one had ever asked me that. Years ago I was shopping in a very tasteful dress, and a man asked 'if I was one of those queers.' But since then I felt I traveled under the radar. I feel if they knew, they didn't say anything. Generally, people were very nice to me.

"I am," I made a weird smile, I bit my lip.

"I hate you." She looked at my feet, "You have such little feet. I transitioned four years ago and I'm still a size twelve, what the heck, what's the rules?"

We started to laugh, I introduced myself. I told her I loved her hair and her perfume. She told me again she was jealous of my feet.

"You know, I have shoes that would go perfectly with that copper dress." Connie went into the back, behind the cash register, she sang, she made so much noise. She walked back with a pair of metallic, copper sandals, with a gorgeous four-inch heel and a thin ankle strap. It was perfect for me and this dress. They were just slightly big, maybe a size up, but I didn't care at all. I figured Misty and Chan would have some trick to keep them on me all night.

I took one more walk around the quiet store, check on the other women, I felt so content, that I went up to Connie to check out. She put the three dresses in the bag she gave me when we first came in. It had the designer's name and logo on the front, it was so nice. She then started giving me accessories, earrings, bangles, even a purse. She next gave me a clutch for the copper dress and one for another green one I had.

She then looked at me, squinting her eyes. I was wearing a short red dress, showing too much leg and cleavage. Misty and Chan were dressed similarly sexy. "I hate asking you this but what size shoe are you?"

'Eight and a half."

"I hate you even more but you... are going to love me." She then went into the back singing again, then came out with nine shoe boxes tied in two ropes.

She looked at Misty and Chan. "And your sizes ladies?" Misty was a seven and a half and Chan was a six. Connie came out with five pairs for Misty and only two for Chan. "Six is very popular." She laughed and handed us the shoes over the counter. "Unfortunately they don't carry shoes in my size." And she held up her sparkly pumps. "I always have to improvise."

I had out my wallet, ready to pay.

"Thank you, ladies, please come again. And have fun at the festivities." She laughed when I asked how much I had to give her. "Ha, that's okay, these are last year's dresses, we are getting ready for the new ones. Just make sure you wear one to the fashion show." And she gave us more tickets. We said goodbye and I invited her to come for dinner and drinks at the Hideaway.

I walked to the door with the two women and then I walked back to the counter. I hugged Connie. "Thank you for being so beautiful." She smiled, and her eyes became slightly misty.

We went and put all of our items in the trunk, we were more than excited. I couldn't wait to reorganize my closet. I couldn't believe the night was another ten.

***

The End of Episode 4 (Stay tuned for Episode 5...)

Girltime at the Hideaway (Episode 5)
by Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hmmm, we are ending this episode with a plan, an idea, a little sexual interlude, oh and some music, of course. Something crazy, fun, and feasible, ha... I hope You like it... and thank you for joining me at the end of the bar for some much-needed Girltime...

***
Episode 5

***

Thursday

I was so busy at the Hideaway today, I barely got to see Ross. He was getting a party set up for lunchtime and he was quite busy himself.

I was watching him walk from his office to the kitchen to the tables with the decorations. I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't being such a great girlfriend. I wanted to be the best, I didn't realize it would be this hard.

Since my sabbatical started, and the selling of my business, life had gotten so busy. I was either at the lawyer, the therapist, the doctor, or even the Hideaway, next week I would start my job at the Gallery and be even busier. I feel like I wasn't giving Ross enough attention. Things were going to change tonight.

When I was in high school I had another girl living inside my head. She did the things I was too nervous to do. She was the bad girl, her name was Giselle. She was way sexier and way more adventurous than Sabrina. She was the one who got all dressed up to drive and flirt with men on the streets and parkways. She was the one with the tough Brooklyn accent who made the phone calls asking crazy questions about designs and sizes and colors to the local stores. She was the one who kissed a boy first, actually, she kissed three. I didn't get to be with a man until I met Ross, I was such a lightweight compared to her. I always wondered where was she when I met Lillian, and why she let me get involved with her. She was also the one I assumed the men would love and want more. Personally, she made me a little nervous, I couldn't believe she was a part of me.

I was going to introduce her to Ross. I talked to Misty over the last weekend and made plans, she thought I was completely insane but she and Chan were totally into it. Misty even found me an outfit, I just had to bring my Mary Janes and lingerie to the salon.

After work on Thursday, I headed to the salon. The women put me in pigtails. They had to add them because I wanted them to clip off easily. They also gave me bangs, they attached right to my own hair. I now had a fringe just lightly brushing my long lashes. I looked very cute. My make-up was all pink. Even pink lip gloss, which I never wore. My cheeks were rosy and my eyes looked softer in a slight brownish makeup, younger-looking than my regular long lashes and dark shadow.

I had on a little white bra to push up my breasts and little white frilly panties. Chan pulled me into a white corset giving me a wonderfully thin waist. I then put on white opaque thigh-highs with a garter on top. I slipped on the Catholic schoolgirl uniform. The skirt was short. pleated, blue, and plaid, with a crisp short-sleeved white shirt, with cap sleeves. I slipped on the two-inch Mary Jane's and little feminine eyeglasses. I was completely sexy. I gave the two women air kisses as they laughed and shook their heads.

"You better not go and get yourself pregnant," Chan yelled, as I snuck out the back door. I went back in and stuck my tongue out at them.

I was over-excited, I was hyperventilating in my Jeep looking in the rearview mirror. I was nervous, so I closed my eyes. Slowly I opened them and then smiled my glossy evil pink smile, Giselle was back. I wanted her to give head to my new boyfriend tonight. If she could only keep her eyes on the road and off the men she was passing. She was such a flirt.

I already called Ross and told him I was making him dinner at my house. I had everything planned, the meal, my outfits, and all the special effects.

***

When I was younger I didn't know what type of 'woman' I wanted to become. Did I want to be wild and sexy or nice and demure? Did I even have a choice? Demure seemed to be more my speed anyway so I brought forth Sabrina, the kinda cool, kinda funny, kinda self-deprecating one. It turned out, that was the genuine me anyway, I didn't have to work at it. Giselle, I slightly hid away, she was sexy, street smart, and ready for anyone.

Anything.

I used to use dark purple lipstick, lip liner, and gloss when I was being her, that's what got me in the zone. When I was young she used to get me into so much trouble. She got caught shoplifting twice and when she was sixteen she got caught drinking alcohol, amongst other things. Ha, I still blame her for every wild thing I ever attempted as a young 'female.'

I had my head in the house and my ass in the little skirt hanging out of the door. "Lillian!" I called just in case. Her car was parked out front but she must have gone with Chester. She told me she was going out to the Roadhouse again anyway, but of course, I didn't believe her, being Giselle I didn't believe anybody.

I set up my laptop, getting it ready for later. I put my lasagne in the oven and then put on some music. I found a new pop playlist a girl who looked similar to Giselle put online, perfect for my new look. I was waiting at the door when I saw Ross's car pull up. I wanted Ross to visit me and see my artwork and books, we were always at his house. He had been here twice before and once, only outside the front door. I also wanted to show him how well I cooked and cleaned, and how wonderful I would be as a housewife.

But first, he had to meet Giselle.

*

I shook my head, I blew out some air. I was ready. I opened the door before he had a chance to knock. I was chewing Juicy Fruit, and wearing my black-rimmed glasses low on my nose as I opened the door. Glancing at him over the glasses and under my fringe, "Hey." He stopped and looked at me. He was gorgeous in his turtleneck and sports coat. He backed up, he checked the address, I think he was making sure he was at the right house.

I was bouncing, I had a hand on my hip, and the other playing with my pigtail. "Come on in, I been waitin' for ya," I said in my perfect Brooklyn accent.

"Hi. Um, is Sabrina home?"

"Soon." I took the bottle of wine from his hands and I turned around and walked into the house. He didn't move. I looked back, "Are ya comin' or what?" As Giselle, I had an edge. I left the door open, I was hoping he was checking out my teenage-looking legs and butt. We headed to my room on the side of the house. He gave me his jacket and I told him to sit. I threw his jacket on the couch.

He squatted down into the recliner while I stood a foot in front of him, still chewing. I wanted him to see my stockings and heels now, and I checked my nails. I started to fix my thigh highs while he watched. Giselle was such a flirt. The smell of fruit punch swirled around me from my gum.

"Is Sabrina here, is she coming home soon?"

"Maybe, she tol' me to keep ya occupied. Wanna beer?"

"Sure."

I handed him a six-pack of warm Budweiser cans, that I hid behind one of the lamps. It landed in his lap. He smiled and pulled one out of the plastic rings. I grabbed it and opened it for him. I had extra long black pointy nails. They were going to be easy to take off later. The warm beer started to foam and overflow onto the floor so I put my pink lips to the opening. He watched as I sucked.

I gave him the beer, "Here dat." I picked up the five other beers and plopped into his lap. I still didn't think he recognized me. I watched him over my little glasses. "So Miss L. says you're alright and I should be nicer to you than I am to anyone else."

"She said that?"

"Mmm, how nice should I be?" I smiled and grabbed his shoulder. "Do you want some gum?"

He seemed a little confused, I liked how he was acting. "Umm, okay." I took it out of my mouth and put it in his, now he would smell like fruit punch too. He smiled, he chewed, I think he was starting to guess it was me.

I put my pigtails in his face and then I went down on my knees and leaned on his thigh, I took the five beers with me. I smiled up at him over my glasses. I was ready to take him into my mouth. He took a big slug of the warm beer, he looked a little nervous. I took the can from him and did the same, watching him, watch me. I handed him the can back, spilling some on his pants.

"Oops." I moved higher up on my knees and started to rub his legs, I slid my hands up under his shirt. I started to rub his nipples. "You're kinda old, ya know." I smiled, "But I kinda like older guys."

"Do you?"

"Mmm."

He started to nervously laugh as I was making my way toward his crotch. My long nails were dancing on his thighs tickling his bulge, my long black nails. I could tell he was tense, especially after I took his zipper and brought it halfway down, I unsnapped his pants. I looked up at him, I licked my pink lips.

I heard a truck outside. I froze, I looked into his eyes again. I started to stand up, fixing my skirt. I was trying to spy out of the window. I heard the front door open.

"Shit." Unfortunately, Giselle was gone.

"Sabrina whose car is in the driveway?" Lillian was standing by the door as it swung more open from the wind. I walked into the hall. Ross didn't move.

"It's Ross's car."

She was looking at me, then Chester walked in. They both stared at me in my schoolgirl uniform, their heads shaking. My breasts were so pushed up, I felt them both looking at my pronounced cleavage.

Lillian moved closer, she had a smirk on her face. "Why are you dressed up like a cheerleader?" Chester started to snicker as I heard Ross getting up from the recliner and heading closer to the open door behind me. I saw them both look behind me toward him.

"Oh, hi." He said.

"This is Ross," I smiled, trying to stay composed. They were silent looking at my legs and at Ross, his pants were unbuttoned. I was nervous, I got caught. I got caught playing with a man. I was afraid I was going to ramble and get sent to my room alone, to think about what I had done. I had to break the silence, it was killing me. "Um, we were wondering if you wanted to go to a fashion week party with us tomorrow?"

Lillian was still quiet, this was the longest she had ever gone without talking. "Go where?"

"Tomorrow, the forum..."

She shook her head, "I can't take you seriously, looking like fucking Britney Spears," Chester chuckled some more. "Just text me the details, and we'll go, we're not doin' anything." She then started laughing, she grabbed something off the couch in the living room and gave me one more look as she swept by. I hadn't moved, I wouldn't dare. She shook her head, "You are so fucking ridiculous, the two of you. When are you gonna grow up?" She slammed the door, I didn't move until I heard the truck pull away. I think I peed a little in my panties.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and shook my head, I had my hands on my face. Ross came up behind me and kissed my neck, he was still chewing gum. He rubbed my shoulders, "Giselle? I thought Sabrina told you to be nice to me."

I smiled to myself then I turned around to look at him. I lowered my glasses and kissed him, a wet one, a kiss an eighteen-year-old girl would give him. Lotsa tongue. I put my arms around his neck, his hands went down to my ass, they went under my skirt, feeling my frilly panties. I led him back to the chair.

"I'm sorry 'bout that, Mister. Miss L. tol' me we were gonna be alone. Talkin' to more adults is extra." I got back on my knees, I brought down his zipper all the way, I pulled down his pants. I reached and felt his cock inside his briefs.

"Nice shorts, did your mother buy them for ya?"

"Um, ah no."

I rubbed and played while he had his confused smile back, he was enjoying himself. I then pulled down his briefs, it wasn't easy. I threw them over to where his coat lay watching us. I then kneeled between his legs, while he kept them close together. I forgot all about the visit from Lillian.

Ross was so hard as I kissed the side of his cock. I pushed it against my lips, I smelled his male musk. He then let out a moan as I took him into my mouth, he slid through my lips. I felt myself get wet inside my white panties. Ross then started to play with my pigtails, as I moved up and down on his dick. I sucked a little harder, I moved around a little more. Giselle could never sit still. He started moving and pushing himself down my throat, I let him buck a little hard as I gripped him tight in my lips.

I let him slip out, he looked at me. I had to fix my glasses. "The boys at school usually cum by now." I smiled then started licking him, from the bottom to the top, I tickled his thighs, then kissed them. I pushed my chin and cheeks against his cock, he started moaning. I started licking again, I was licking his balls and then thighs again, 'Giselle' was having a wonderful time.

"Ahh, god that feels so good, S.., um, Giselle I am loving this. You are incredible."

It made me smile that he was talking to me like the high school girl I could become. I started to lick and suck some more. I now loved having a hard cock in my mouth, I loved playing with a man, why did I wait so long. Just feeling his legs against me was turning me on, my breasts pushing down on the chair between his thighs, my face buried in his crotch.

I completely went down on him, his cock buried deep down my throat. I kept him inside me and sucked, I swirled my tongue on the head. I looked up, I wanted him to watch me as his cock made its way slowly out of my mouth with a plop. "I hope my boyfriend doesn't find out about this, he's quite jealous."

Ross's smile got even bigger, he was enjoying himself. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Ha, I got a couple." I went back to his manhood and started to pump. My long black nails looked incredible around his hard manhood. "If ya see them tell 'im you are a friend of the family. They'll leave ya alone. Unless you don't want them to." I started playing with him much faster as he watched. My both hands pumping him.

He started to yell. "Oh, fuck, oh my god..." He started to cum, I caught it all in my mouth. I let him take over and pump his cock, depositing his sperm directly onto my tongue. I was quite happy receiving his sperm directly into my mouth. I licked him clean again. I swallowed every bit he shot out. I then sucked his cock some more, relishing the smoothness and hardness even after he had cum. I played with myself as I kissed his cock, his thighs, and then his belly. I felt my long nails on my crotch and I pushed and played with myself until I came. I took a deep breath and gave a little giggle, Giselle was having way too much fun. She didn't rate things so we would never really know how much fun she had.

I crawled over to the couch. Finally, I found his briefs. I stood in front of him and watched him put them on, pull them up, and fix his now-softening manhood. I then fixed my disheveled skirt, stockings, and I kissed his nose.

"You were okay, ya know."

I then went and sneakily pressed a button on my laptop, then I picked up the remote, and skipped to the next song in the playlist.

"This is my favorite song." Pointing to the ceiling, pointing to where I thought the music was coming from. I scrunched up my face.

'Hmmm, is it?"

"Ha," I giggled, "It is. Well, how was that Mister, did you like it?"

"I did, you must be one popular schoolgirl."

I smiled, then kissed his cheek. "You have no idea." I sat back into his lap, he was still quite hard. We kissed, and somehow I got my Juicy Fruit back, and it was my turn to chew. I opened another beer and we drank it together. I moved my body against him as I played with his hair.

We heard the sound of the garage door. We froze. We heard a car, it shut off, we heard a door. "Is that Lillian again?" He asked.

"I hope not, she's such a bitch, lately."

I stood up, we heard someone outside the door, I had speakers all over the house. "Ross! Giselle, are you here?" We heard Sabrina, well Sabrina's voice playing through my speakers. I had set up a whole program, a whole macro of sounds and it was working perfectly. Ross was stiff as a board.

"Um," He looked at me a little confused.

"We're in here Miss L.!" I called.

"Okay, I'm gonna get changed. Giselle, do you want to stay for dinner?"

I turned to look at Ross. "No thank you, I already ate. Plus your boyfriend is done wit' me."

"Okay." And we heard her shuffle off.

I then bent down and kissed him on the lips. We made out together as we heard 'Sabrina' moving through the house. "I betta go." I pulled him up off the recliner and he gave me a hug and another kiss, I molded into his body.

I went to the door and gave him a nice girly wave. He smiled and waved back. I closed the inside door, opened and closed the front door, and ran into the bathroom to change.

***

Seven minutes later I opened the door to my side room, the pop music was still playing. I walked in putting my hands on my hips. I had on a denim dress, white and blue, and very distressed. It was sleeveless, the front went right up to my neck, the hem right below my panties showing off my nude pantyhose. The dress was so tight and with the corset still on my body looked quite feminine. I had on five-inch platform nude pumps. I had a thick gold chain around my neck which Chan gave me, it matched my big thick gold hoops. I put on a little bit of darker mascara and painted my lips a dark red. I took off the plastic black nails, revealing the slightly shorter red ones underneath. My hair was easy, I took off the clips to the pigtails and the fall of my bangs and then just brushed my hair, parting it on the side. Last I put on my perfume and brushed my teeth, no more Juicy Fruit.

"Hi baby, did you miss me?"

Ross was smiling, I was glad he had a confused look on his face. He grabbed me around the waist when I got closer, he kissed my belly. He stood up and we kissed. I kissed him slowly, our tongues mixed, I put my arms around his neck and rubbed my body against him. I was a 'woman' now not a teenage girl. I had my lips on his cheeks, my hands in his hair.

We pulled apart, he had a weird smile on his face. "You... are crazy."

"Me, why? You didn't like Giselle? Was she mean to you? I told her to be nice, where is my phone?" And I made believe I was looking for it.

"No, no, she was great, no, please come back here." He grabbed me again, pulling me to him, and we kissed some more. I was thinking how much I liked this, how much of a flirt I was becoming and Ross seemed to be fine with it. I didn't want to tell him, knowing he was a phone call away I was always horny, always just a little on edge and I had never been like that before.

I then changed the music, something to put us in the mood again.

'I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go'

"You will like this music so much better," I told him. I walked back over and fixed his hair, wiped the pink lipstick off of his cheek, and shook my head. I noticed the Budweiser cans next to the chair. "You let her drink." I pointed, "She's only eighteen. You are a very bad influence." I stifled a smile and grabbed the bottle of wine. "Come on let's sit in the kitchen, I'm a little disappointed in you, I hope you didn't tease her. She is probably not used to being so close to an older handsome man."

I heard him stifle a laugh as I dragged him by his hand.

He sat down at the kitchen table, he couldn't get the sly grin off of his face. I rubbed his shoulders, feeling how hard and strong he was. I loved having a man to play with, to hang with me, to talk to. When I was home I spent most of my time here in the kitchen. It was one place Lillian and Chester avoided. They usually ate out or called for deliveries. Other times they made me cook for them, no matter how late it was, and then they sat in the living room in front of the TV watching reality shows. They would bark orders, they always treated me like 'the help,' but I still felt comfortable here. I was surrounded by all my pots and dishes and wine glasses.

"You must be hungry." I kissed his cheek and sat down. We had cheese and fruit, a bottle of red wine, and dinner. I gave him a tour of the house. I showed him my artwork, my paintings, my pictures. I brought him back into the side room, in front of my new Dillon painting. It made me feel so warm, so comfortable. I put my hands on his shoulder as he drew his arm around me. I leaned into his body, he could never imagine how happy he made me. We kissed, we had coffee, we shared the cookies I made. Sneakily I pressed my laptop.

We heard a knock at the front door, we heard the door open. I looked at Ross, he braced himself for another visit from Lillian.

"Hey Miss L. I forgot my books." We heard 'Giselle.'

"Okay." I smiled at Ross and sat in his lap.

"I found it." We heard her call, her little New York voice.

It was my turn. I called Giselle. "Lock up when you go. Thanks again for keeping Ross busy!" The door closed. I made the music louder, we were alone.

'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see?'
'That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
It happens to be true, I only want to be with you'

***

The End (For Now... More to come...)

***

Life Seems to Suck Sometimes (Part 2)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Well, well, well, our heroine's life gets a little more interesting now that her girlfriend knows about her girl side... We now meet a few more people to complicate, I mean to, um, make our t-girls life, so much more fun and exciting... You'll see, ha... I hope YOU like it...

***

Part 2 of 5

The next couple of weeks with Lilly weren't that weird, but she was always bringing up the crossdressing.

"You know I really wasn't that surprised, you're so skinny and your legs are so girlie. I knew you shaved, now I know why." I was 5'8" and weighed about 145 pounds and she was now studying my body so intently it was making me nervous. She was looking at my hairless arm, she then looked at my ears. They have been pierced for three years. She shook her head and I poured her another drink. I made Caipirinha's, they were one of her favorites.

She used to laugh at me all the time, claiming my tastes were so Spanish, especially since I was an O'Doherty and 100% Irish, and also paler than the Horchata I made her right before the Caipirinha. Now that she knew my history with the Sosa sisters she understood, but she didn't really approve.

"I don't understand," She made me sit down at the kitchen table with her. "My company has those Drag Race parties all the time and you never once dressed up. Just think how much fun you would have had."

I was thinking she had to be kidding me, I wasn't a drag queen, it wasn't about 'showing off' like that. I wasn't wearing a dress in front of her friends, I was great at it.

"The next one is like two weeks away, I can't wait to see what you are going to wear, heh."

"I'm not doing that, please don't ever bring it up again." I was getting disappointed to think she thought I was that type of person. I didn't need any more attention. Especially from people she knew and worked with.

Now ever since she found out about me, it came up constantly, even on television or in conversation with others. It's almost like the world wanted to be reminded how much I loved to dress like a woman. All it did was make me more uncomfortable around her. I knew it was just a 'Frequency Illusion,' it just felt like it was coming up more now that Lilly knew about me. She was always watching for signs of me acting femme, she would smile when I did anything slightly girlie.

"Well maybe we could go out, we could wear something short and sexy together if you'd like." She had a smile on her face, but I knew she was just trying to make the best out of this surprise of mine. Lilly didn't like dressing up. Hopefully, it will fade into the background.

I filled up my glass and I started to think, mixing the rum and sugar. I loved alcohol, I loved drinking and socializing, I loved making drinks and watching everyone enjoying what I made. I wasn't an alcoholic, my entire Irish family was, even my parents, my father died of alcoholism, his liver was a mess, but I didn't have the propensity for it. I had the genes but that was it. Crossdressing on the other hand was something I needed, I went through withdrawals, there was a lot of pain when I wasn't being a girl. I could never even explain it to anyone other than Angie, she was exactly the same. Now SHE was living as a full-time woman.

I wish Lilly could just get over this... one thing.

I was always so good to her. I liked to spend money on her, take her places and introduce her to new things. I rarely asked for anything in return. I rarely asked for anything. I closed my eyes and finished my drink. "Lilly," I opened them and looked at her, feeling a little embarrassed. I knew what I was going to say was going to sound immature. "I'm sorry, but you have to realize I'm not a boy in a dress."

***

After getting caught by Lily, I started to dress up a little more. Now that it was 'out there' I had no other choice. I was starting to wear my nightgown or slips to bed once again. I only spent time and slept in, my girlie bedroom. That week I came home from work and spent the night filing and painting my toenails, and putting on my press-on nails on my long fingers. Just sitting in front of my vanity mirror, coloring or reading made me so happy. I loved watching how nice my cleavage looked in my different dresses or how my hair fell into my large lashes. I would blow out of the side of my mouth making my hair move. I felt quite cute.

As soon as I was in the house I put on earrings, why did I let them almost close up, it was crazy. Next, I started doing my exercise and hair regiments again. I even flirted with the idea of putting my pictures back up on social media. I had so many, and I had all that sexy video that Angie shot of me. Especially the one of me sucking the guy in the white car. That was my favorite, it always made me cum watching how excited I was. I'm sure it would make others happy and cum too.

I was also now visiting Angie and Trevor during the week again. Trevor only ever saw me as a woman, I wanted to keep it that way.

Angie told me I was dressing just a little too slutty and she wanted me to take my time with my makeup, to look like one of the Sosa sisters again.

"I love you in your flouncy dresses, Nena." She would tell me.

I could tell they were happy to see more of me but warned me not to get too out of control.

Ha, like that could happen again.

***

A couple of weeks later Lilly and I went out to dinner, she called me, she wanted to take me to my favorite tapas restaurant, Lola Bistro. We went there all the time. It was one of the only places I would go by myself, as a man or a woman. I didn't usually do alone 'good,' especially if I was going to be talking to someone. I wasn't even that shy, I just had this little social anxiety that made me a little tense. If I was with someone it didn't even exist. Usually, when I came to the Bistro I just picked something up to go, but I would always stop and talk with Clair, one of the owners. Her brother was transgender and we would talk about them sometimes. She loved when I was Giselle, she loved how I dressed, she loved that I sounded like one of her relatives. She would hold my hand and we would drink a bottle of red wine together. I was glad I had a friend like her.

After a wonderful meal, we went back to Lilly's place. She lived in a small apartment with an Aunt, about twenty minutes from Metuchen.

"Why don't you make drinks," She asked me, "And I'll check on my Aunt."

There was never anything good, liqueur wise in this house unless I brought it. I had to improvise. I mixed beer and orange juice over ice and walked into the living room.

"An OJ Surprise."

"Ooh looks good," She smiled and drank, "I have a favor to ask you."

Lilly liked to start almost anything with that line. I was used to it. I was used to closing doors, scratching her back, or yelling at some driver who almost cut her off. 'Can you do me a favor and yell at that prick.'

I always did whatever she wanted anyway. She was as busy as me, and I wanted to help.

"Would you work at the event my company is producing on Saturday? It's a breast cancer awareness fundraiser"

"Saturday?" Another girlie Saturday would be lost, but I couldn't say no. "Okay." It was also only two days away.

"Well let me explain first, but thanks for being so supportive." She laughed and walked away, coming back out with a dress on a hanger. She took it off and held it in her hands, it was long and pink, bright pink. I swallowed, I started to sweat.

"One of the models for Saturday canceled. I was wondering if you would be able to fill in?"

I had my mouth open, I didn't even know what to say. The dress was so feminine.

"It's your size, a ten, I checked, and it's too late to get another one, I already asked. And look how long it is, it's just like the one I saw you wearing."

"You can't hire someone else to do this?"

"I've been trying, we needed fourteen girls, now we have thirteen. Mr. Flores hates the number thirteen. He's got a thing... Ugh, I would be an employee of the year if I found someone." She laid the dress on the table. "Look it's so pretty and you will look stunning in it."

I touched the dress, it was beautiful, but I don't think she would understand how different I would become as a woman. I didn't want her to be too surprised.

"Please," She started to lightly cry, "I need someone, I would do it myself but I would never get into this dress. You are perfect, you would be so beautiful."

She sat down. It was such a crazy request, I wish Angie was here I would do whatever she told me to do. "Okay," I told her, I had a feeling it was a mistake, "Where and what time?"

Lilly stood up, she was crying harder, She hugged me, and then she hung the dress on one of the doors and then walked back over. I looked past her at the dress, it had little spaghetti straps, I don't know how I was going to get away with something that slinky.

Lilly wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She almost had a smile on her face, she then started taking off her clothes. She was trying to stop crying. "Thank you... What is your name as a girl?"

She was down to her bra and panties, I was distracted. "Um, Giselle."

"Mmm, thank you, Giselle, that doesn't sound Spanish." She pushed her breasts into my face, I couldn't speak. I had to put down my drink. I kissed her through her bra, she was about to take it off, it was so smooth, it was nylon. It was something.

"No please, leave it on." She laughed as I kissed into her cleavage. I put my fingers inside her panties, I wanted her to keep them on too. I loved a woman in clothes, sexy clothes preferably. If I was a woman full time that's all I would ever wear.

She grabbed my hand and made me stand up. She led me into the middle of the floor, she took off my shoes, socks, and pants. I wouldn't let her take off my shirt. My chest, arms, and stomach were too smooth and feminine. I started kissing the top of her head and hair, she was so short. She then laid spread out on the floor. She had a huge smile on her face, I was thinking if she really wanted to thank me, I should be laying down spread out.

She got up on her elbows. "Well, see something you like?" I dived into the front of her panties, I knew what she wanted. I had one hand on her breast and the other massaging her ass. I kissed and ran my nose into her clit. I loved how she smelled, I loved when she was nice to me and paid attention. I wished she wore sexier lingerie. I wished she wore stockings.

"Thank you again, you are so good to me." She then moaned, "You know that I will now owe YOU a favor, a big one." She moaned even louder, thank god her Aunt was almost deaf. "Choose wisely. haha." She laughed as she pushed my face deeper into her vagina, just a little bit of nylon between my tongue and her clit.

Between her juices and my saliva, her panties were becoming drenched. Lilly started pushing her crotch more into me. I held her ass with both of my hands now, my lips working on making her crazy. I could taste her as I sucked her and the nylon. She started to orgasm and she screamed, I put a finger inside her and kissed the insides of her thighs, then massaged her legs. She was shaking, she was laughing, she was enjoying my touch on her body, she was coming down from the high of her orgasm. When she was exhausted, I moved up and nuzzled her breasts, I then took the blanket off the couch and covered us.

The next morning her Aunt fell on top of us.

***

Saturday afternoon I went to Angies, she was going to help me get prepared for the event. Trevor was going to watch.

"Nena," he said, "I got a beer and I got my seat, whenever you are ready." We laughed, he loved to watch the two of us dress up. He told me he liked women all dressed up more than naked, exactly like me. Sometimes we would be in her bedroom and he would be lounging on the bed. I loved an audience. The two of us loved showing off to the right person.

Angie was looking at the dress, "I am a little surprised you agreed to this."

"A little? So am I," I was hoping it would be fine, "Lilly told me all I had to do was open some doors, pose for pictures, and look beautiful. Doesn't sound too hard."

I handed Trevor an envelope. "What's this? A list of demands, haha."

"Ha, Lilly paid me already. I want you two to go out for dinner. I want you to send me pictures of your drinks."

Trevor opened the envelope, he counted, "Nena this is twelve hundred bucks!"

"I know, It's a union job, you now know someone in the union." We laughed, and I unbuttoned my short-flowered dress. It pooled at my feet. "Okay, you two, I am so ready."

***

I woke up that morning completely nervous and slightly nauseous, but standing in Angie's house with a glass of wine and with two of my best friends, I felt like I could take on the world.

Angie was tightening the corset around my waist, "Suck in. You know life seems to suck sometimes but..."

"But," I interrupted "When it gives you lemons, make Lemoncello."

"Correct." We laughed and she got me dressed.

"Lemon Jello?" Trevor wondered.

I had on the long dark pink dress, it had a deep slit reaching up to the top of my thigh. It was showing off my perfect left leg in nude pantyhose and my four-inch silver sandals. I had on my C-cup breast forms, this time glued to my chest and now hidden behind the fabric of the dress. My back was almost completely bare. The dress had thin straps, a tight waist, and was long and full, just my toes peered out from the bottom.

Angie fixed my hair, she wouldn't let me wear a wig. "It's time to show the world you are a natural blonde," She added some extensions and it was draped over my shoulders. "You have no hair on your entire body, the world is going to have to take our word for it."

The two of them were having a great time, I was thinking I was going to start dressing up more often, just like the years before. I loved this, I would just take it slow and try to hang with my friends, and if Lilly wants to go out with me as another woman, maybe I would be okay with that. She didn't realize it, but she had sex with Giselle the last time at her Aunts house.

Angie made my lips and nails dark pink, my lips were so full and my nails were so long. I had on extra long dangling earrings that almost reached my shoulders, I tinkled when I moved. I smiled at my reflection in her mirror.

"I made your eyeliner longer and your eyes look so much bigger, the lashes are so long and thick. I wanted to bring out your Spanish heritage, haha."

She was teasing me, but I did look more South American, I felt like I could be a third Sosa sister. After Angie was done I spritzed on my Chanel perfume and took pictures to send to the sisters. I picked up the little beaded bag that went with the dress and posed. I even took pictures with Trevor, he was so huge and being over six feet in my heels, I still looked small and feminine in comparison.

The Sosa's sent compliments right back, it was five PM here, so Brazil was only two hours ahead. I wished they still lived two towns away instead of two time zones.

We heard a beep, "Looks like your ride is here. I hope you like 'em big" Trevor laughed.

We finished our wine and I kissed them goodbye, a good thing my dark pink lips were smudge proof. I grabbed my bag and the two of them walked me to the car. I made the limo driver take more pictures of us, I was suddenly so excited. I then took pictures with the limo driver, the people of Angie's block must have thought I was either a diva or crazy. Or both.

***

We picked up two more girls on the way and made our way to the event. It was at a large event/convention hall on the Atlantic Ocean, almost an hour away. Someone came out and ushered us inside. All three of us had similar dresses, mine seemed to be the only one with such a high slit. The slit came almost to my hip and it showed my entire leg. The other two had two little slits in the front up to both of their ankles. I was glad I had the sexier dress. One of the women even had long sleeves.

I was put in a room, full of water bottles, tables, and mirrors. Most of the girls were getting their makeup done, but I was completely ready. I texted Lilly that I was here, but I was guessing she was too busy to see me. She wasn't.

I heard her call, a third of us were blonde, I was hoping I blended in. "Giselle?" I was going to wait until she recognizes me, I did look a lot different. Angie always made me look more like her than the Sosa sisters. Plus I wasn't wearing the long wig Lilly saw me in. I was standing with the two other women from the limo and a man was putting jewelry on me and then he put postcards into my beaded bag. I watched Lilly look at all of us, she looked at me then kept on going. I watched her stop and turn around to face me. I posed.

"Giselle?"

I looked at her and flipped my hair, I knew how to act like a flirt. "Maybe." I looked away.

"Oh my god, Giselle? I can not believe that this is you. Is that your real hair?" she was running her fingers through it. I looked around I didn't want the other girls to even think I might wear a wig.

"You look incredible, I can't wait until you meet Mr. Flores." She made me spin around, she couldn't believe how high my heels were. "Are you going to be able to walk in those?" She laughed and then introduced me to a couple of clients with her in the backroom, she told them I was someone she knew. I introduced her to the two models from the car. I told them she was my Accountant.

***

They gathered all of the workers together and gave us a pep talk. The fourteen of us in pink dresses were the last to go out on the floor. Me and a dark-haired woman, Rachael were going to work on the doors of Conference Room three. Once we got there they instructed us on our job. We were to open and hold the doors for the guests, hand out the little postcards with QR codes for donations, and mingle.

"I'm a great mingler," Rachael told me.

"Not me, I'm more of a blend-in type of person." We laughed together, it was going to be fun. Unfortunately, we could only drink bottled water, even though there were so many bars set up around the convention area.

There were a lot of couples and breast cancer survivors, everyone was so positive and nice. I was starting to relax and enjoy myself, especially since Lilly was nowhere to be found. I realized I could just be me not the person I needed to portray to Lilly. People were entering and exiting the doors, we were quite busy but once the guests were done speaking we had time to pose for pictures. I loved posing with my hand on my hip and my leg peaking through the slit, I felt very sexy. I couldn't believe how many phone numbers I was given by men. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, I was totally in my element, and I was so glad I had a new accomplice, Rachael.

An older man came up to me, he was dressed quite nicely but he smelled like cigars and money. I liked my men to smell like underarm deodorant and toothpaste.

"I couldn't wait to take a picture with the most beautiful woman here."

He smiled at me and of course, gave me a card with his number. He took a selfie of us. We ended up talking for a little while. He was a little obsessed with his car.

"Have you ever been in a convertible?" He asked, and I shifted to my other leg, looking for someone to get me out of this conversation.

"No, I haven't."

"Well I have a white Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet, it's parked right outside. We could take a quick ride along the coast."

I touched his chest, I was flirting, "Some other time, I am a working woman."

Just then Lilly returned with a bunch of people. "Giselle!" She called me "I want you to meet Benjamin, Mr. Flores!"

The man with the Porsche kissed my hand and gave me keys. "I'm here for a couple of weeks, the car is right outside if you want to take a spin." I didn't know what to do, Lilly was walking over so I put the keys in my bag, and shrugged. "Just call me." He winked.

He then said hello to Lilly and the others and then circulated back into the room.

"Giselle, this is Benjamin." Lilly had a tremendous smile on her face.

He walked closer to me, he was quite good-looking and at least twenty years older. He took my hand and kissed it. "Thank you so much my dear for stepping in. Lilly has only given you praise. You are now our first choice for everything from now on." He smiled at me, while still holding my hand. He had a wonderfully strong Spanish accent, not too dissimilar from the Sosa sisters.

"Thank you, sir. I am having such a wonderful time." I then introduced him to Rachael. I asked him to make HER his first choice I was very happy being second. The two of us were making him laugh, we were really enjoying talking to him. I could tell he was in charge, I felt a little special. He was spending so much time with us. Rachael moved on and took some pictures with people she knew and Benjamin took my arm and moved us closer to his family.

Mr. Flores then put my chin in his fingers, "Giselle? I love your accent. Where are you from?"

"Mmm, Edison, New Jersey." I smiled as he laughed, and then his wife, Delfina walked up to us, I was introduced to her and their two kids. His wife was so young and gorgeous, his children were tiny, they must have been around six or seven.

"This is Alma," He said, as I bent down and took her hand.

"Hi, Alma, you are so pretty, I love your purse." I smiled and showed her mine. I even picked up the keys of the Porche and jingled them to make her smile bigger. "Someone gave me these." I made a big shrug.

Mr. Flores then brought over his son, "And this is Bruno, he couldn't wait to meet you. He had been watching you most of the night."

I smiled at this little boy, I liked having an admirer. I very rarely came in contact with children, but I loved them. "Hi, look at that suit. You are so, so handsome." He smiled at me. He was quiet at first, but I knew he wanted to talk.

"My dad made me wear a tie." I took it in my fingers and fixed it for him, he didn't look at me, he seemed very shy. We took a couple of pictures of me with the Flores and then just the children and even some with just me and the little boy.

Lilly went back into the middle of the hall barking directions and I talked to Mr. Flores and his wife for a little while longer, I liked them very much. I told them where I got my voice from and they laughed. "My friends were from Brazil, they thought my New Jersey accent wasn't mysterious enough."

"We are from Argentina, and I speak Spanish, but I also speak Italian and Portuguese. Your accent is making me miss my home country very much, ha."

Little Bruno, seemed to of attached himself to me. My leg was sticking out of my slit and the little boy put his arm around my nylon knee. I smiled down on him, he was being cute. I had my hand with my long fingernails playing in his hair.

I felt him pull my dress, "Miss, I think you are pretty like my mom." He told me and the parents smiled.

I put my hand over my lips, I liked that he said that, it was such a nice thing to say. Plus his mother was so stunning, there was no way I was even close to her beauty. I could tell his parents were proud of him for acting so mature. "Thank you so much. Well, then you should call me by my name. I tapped his nose. I'm Giselle."

It was the first time in my life that I felt I really was. It was a defining moment for me.

His smile was so big after I touched his nose. I felt like I turned on a switch. I looked down at him, now clutching my thigh, and started thinking he was going to grow up to be a legman. "Giselle, You have such a nice dress." He lightly rubbed my hip, "and hair." He peered up at me, one eye was closed. I started thinking he was going to grow up to be a crossdresser.

Maybe on some level, he felt we had something in common? I hoped he could find three local women to support him as I did. Ha.

I smiled, then bent down and gave him a big hug, I held him tight. I gave a little cry. This was the second-best part of the night.

***

The event started winding down and the music from the speakers got a little louder. Most of the guests were getting ready to leave, and Rachael and I were talking and taking more pictures now than ever. I also handed out all the rest of my postcards, I jotted my name and my number to the men who asked for them. Little did they know it was for the Lola Bistro. It was the only number I knew from memory.

We were about to leave our stations when a man walked up to me, I thought I had seen him standing by the bar before when I was talking to the Flores family.

"Hello, I hope you are not leaving so soon." He also had a slight Spanish accent and he was very good-looking. He had dark hair and a nice suit. He was a lot taller than me in my heels, my eyes were in line with his lips. I liked that this type of man was interested in me.

"No, I can stay, my parents are going to pick me up later." He looked at me confused and then laughed. He walked closer to me, I got a slight whiff of his deodorant. I smiled to myself.

"I'm Marcelo, I'm playing music here today."

I listened as the music played from the speakers, "You sound very good."

He laughed. "Well thank you, I guess. Let's get a drink, let's sit down and talk. You can tell your parents you are in good hands." I took his arm and he led me over to one of the long bars.

I was so dying for a glass of wine, and dying to talk to a man while in this dress. The bartender brought us drinks and we drank Chardonnay together, he seemed to be very interested. He was paying so much attention to everything I said, and I was kinda punchy and flirty, who knows what the heck I was going to say.

"I hear you were the last-minute replacement. My father would have freaked out with a thirteen of something at this event. He is very superstitious."

"He is? Well, I'm so glad I was free. And I'm glad I'm not thirteen years old anymore." I smiled at him, showing off my white teeth and pink lips.

"Ha, me too."

I rarely got to meet any men, but today was full of them, I had to do something like this again. Talking to men and children... well talking to anyone all dressed up was very intoxicating. Marcelo and I conversed for quite a while and I was having a wonderful time. It felt like a date. He kept touching my hand, and he was intently watching me every time I played with my hair. I felt myself flirting and I was glad Angie wouldn't let me wear a wig. We started moving closer together and he was whispering in my ear, the music was still playing, then someone came and took him away. I was suddenly sad, I actually clutched his arm for a second. He said he would be right back. I was quite happy talking to a handsome, interested man.

I was alone, I started to feel a little uncomfortable. I was nursing my wine when Rachael walked over. "Can you smile sunshine?"

I looked up and smiled.

"There is an UBER outside, wanna share?"

"Sure where are you going?"

"Princeton and you?"

"Metuchen, that will be perfect." We grabbed our bags and I said goodbye to the lone bartender and stragglers that were left. I went back to the bar again but I couldn't find Marcelo or Lilly, I was feeling disappointed and I told Rachael. I checked my phone, nothing from Lilly at all, I didn't want to text her, I figured she was probably still busy with the event. I did feel a little abandoned, but I had fun and a new friend to spend time with. I wasn't upset for too long, just a tiny bit sad. I have been sad before, 'Life Seems to Suck Sometimes... I made Rachael take one more lap with me around the convention center just in case, it was quite empty. One last look from the door and we left.

We got into the back of the last UBER. "So do you want Savignon Blanc or Malbec?" She pulled two little bottles from her bag. I laughed, this was going to be a nice ride. The driver pointed out some cups and we shared.

We giggled the entire ride. I told her I gave all the men the phone number to my favorite restaurant, and she said she gave them all her phone number, from when she was a kid. We couldn't believe how popular we were, but the UBER driver reminded us about our sexy dresses.

It was after midnight by the time we made it to my home. I invited Rachael and the driver in to see my place. I told Rachael she could stay whenever she wanted, I had an empty bedroom.

"I can decorate it for you if you'd like." I teased her

"Okay, but when I'm not in pink I'm a goth, haha."

"Well, I can come back." The UBER driver told me, he was probably around thirty and he seemed nice, but I didn't think it would sit right with the rest of the community. Maybe tomorrow I would think differently.

***

I waved goodbye and then took a long shower. I came out smelling like roses. What a wonderful day, I was totally unprepared for it. I slipped on my white nightgown, my breasts nestled into the cups. I put my hair in a ponytail with a scrunchie, I just loved doing that. I admired my smile in the mirror, then I took pictures for social media. I logged into one of my old accounts. I wanted to show off. Just a couple of pictures from the night, I would never look this great again. I took one last picture of me in my nightclothes and said goodnight to my account.

My bed was big and soft. I was on my back looking at the ceiling of my room, I was thinking of Marcelo, I didn't even have time to give him my number. My real number. I took a big sigh, and then I started thinking of the little boy, Bruno. He was so cute, I loved that he didn't judge me, he just told me I was as pretty as his mother. I loved that, I started to cry. "Why am I crying?" I said to the ceiling. Even the Flores were so nice to me, I was just a worker, I was surprised they talked to me that long. And everyone else, they were so grateful and happy, they all were having a great time. I even made a new friend.

There was still something, something that ruined it a little. I couldn't believe Lilly introduced me as someone she knew, that's what bothered me. "What the fuck!" I yelled to the ceiling. Someone she knew? She should have introduced me as her boyfriend, well, girlfriend. A friend even. And then she left me.

And then my bell rang.

***

End of Part 2

***

Life Seems to Suck Sometimes (Part 3)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***
Author's Note: Hmmm... this is the chapter with just a little angst, just a little. We also find out how our heroine got her name. (It's cute, I swear.) Life starts sucking just a little bit, but we are strong we can take it, we know it's only temporary... ha... I hope YOU like it...

***

Part 3 of 5

I heard someone attempting to open the front door. I opened it, Lilly was slightly disheveled. She was holding a half-full bottle of vodka and a shopping bag.

"Hi, hope I didn't wake you." She pushed by me and collapsed on the couch. She had her eyes closed as she talked. "Benjamin was so happy with me, he said I did a, 'scuse me, a great job."

"Lilly, how did you get here?"

"Car, it took forever, I got lost on Route one. Ha." She laid down on the couch.

"You shouldn't of driven, you couldn't get a ride? I would of come and got you." I was disappointed that she would get in a car in this condition.

She then opened her eyes, "I gotta get changed, I need a toothbrush." She swayed to the bathroom and took longer than I expected. I had time to think about Marcelo and Rachael, and then make coffee.

She came out in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, her workout clothes, and walked into the emptier bedroom. I brought in coffee and she took a sip, she lay on the bed. I put the blanket over her, I was going back to my own. I didn't want Lilly to ruin my night any more than she has.

"Where are you going? Stay with me. I don't care if you look like a girl. You looked like one all night, I felt like I didn't even know you." She moved up, then opened her eyes. "Wait, I forgot, do you still look like one?" She saw me in my small nightgown and then fell back under the covers. I shut off all the lights and got in bed with her. She didn't smell of toothpaste.

I thought she was sleeping, but ten minutes later I felt her take my hand. She put it on her leg. I was so tired I wasn't paying attention. I felt something hard. Hard and long. I put on the light, she had a crooked smile on her face.

"Surprise!" She moved up and pulled down her sweatpants, she had a huge strap-on dildo. It was blue and it almost went down to her knee.

"What the fuck is that?"

"It's a dick, don't you want to play with my, 'scuse me, dick?" She was watching me with her eyes half-open.

"That's not a dick." I then got up and slammed her door. I went into my bedroom, I was once again on my back. "What the fuck!" I yelled to the ceiling. I heard her call me, I ignored her until I fell asleep.

***

Sunday morning, I felt indifferent. I had slept in my sexiest nightgown, it was white and I felt like a brand new bride in it. And then I remembered Lilly was here with her big plastic fake dick.

Sunday afternoons were for my mother. Out of all the people I had to spend time with, my mother was the least needy. I would go over for lunch and visit her and her second husband. He never got my name right, he never even looked at me. Lilly never came, but she would make me come over to her place after I was done.

I called my mother and told her I would be busy today. I didn't want to show her my new look, I didn't want to change my hair and nails.

I also wanted to wear something I haven't worn in a while.

Lilly got up she was quiet, she was still drunk. I called up Trevor and asked if he would come with me to drive Lilly's car home.

***

"Lilly where is the car?" I asked her but she couldn't remember, it took about twenty-five minutes to find it. I put her shopping bag in the back and she got in. I introduced her to Trevor, he was going to drive her car, I didn't want to talk to her.

I was wearing something short and revealing, I wanted to show Lilly I could become a 'real looking woman' very easily if I wanted to. Once inside my own car, the phone rang. "Nena, you following or leading?" It was Trevor, thank god he was doing this for me.

"Following."

Twenty minutes later I was outside her Aunts home, she took her keys and bag and ran into the house. I didn't even have time to get out of my car.

Trevor was at the passenger window. "She said she doesn't want to talk. She knows an awful lot of curse words, did you know that" He laughed and got in. "She also asks for a lot of favors. Haha"

I told him how great the night was. I couldn't wait until the two of them saw my pictures. Then I told him what happened when she got to the house, I told him she was drunk. Then I told him about her huge fake dick. "What was she thinking?"

"Maybe she thought you would like it."

"It was so big and fake looking. It was a parody of a real one, I like when a cock looks like a cock. Did she tell you she left me at the event last night?"

"She didn't say much, but she wanted me to tell you she met someone and they hung out at the hotel next door." He looked straight ahead.

I stared at him. "And he let her drive like that, that's ridiculous."

***

I dropped off Trevor and went in to say hello to Angie, she didn't approve of my outfit. It was an orange tube top and a short distressed denim skirt. I paired it with white four-inch heels.

"Last time I saw you wear something like that we were in the back of some jerk's car." She told me.

I just shrugged, this wasn't a day for a flowered dress. I said goodbye and thank you and went right to the Mall, the parking lot was crowded. I knew who I was looking for.

Angie grew tired of sucking cock at the Mall but not me. I was going three times a week after that initial introduction. Short skirt, tight top, boobs but never a bra. This was the type of outfit the men responded to, well the ones that were looking. I would be there a half-hour and easily play with three cocks. I was always looking for GBD-1122, turns out he worked in the mall, I found him in a different parking lot. I used to leave notes on his car. I wanted to leave him one now.

It was still early, I stepped out of the car and a huge man called me over. I gave him my phone, I wanted proof. I slid in and gave him head. He wasn't too big but he was very appreciative. I missed this. Why would I need something plastic and fake when I could have something attached to a human. He played with my real hair and I took him down my throat, he came for so long. He praised me the whole time, I needed that. I even let him rub my legs, they were covered with white pantyhose. I looked like a slut. I put on the stockings after I left Angie's, she would of certainly known what I was up to otherwise. After two more men, I went home to put the videos on social media, it was activated and getting lots of traffic. I couldn't wait to shoot and then put up more.

***

Monday morning I put my hair in a baseball hat. My work was extremely needy, SO much more than Lilly. The year before I created a macro that had made the company sixteen million dollars that year, they gave me my own office, they gave me a raise. During lunch, I went to the Mall to look for GBD-1122. There was a time when I had his cock in my mouth twice a week, sometimes more. He had a habit of making me feel good about myself, he knew how to stroke my ego, and I knew how to stroke his hard manhood. I went once again at night. I was determined to find him. It wasn't that long ago and his car wasn't that old, I couldn't imagine him getting another one.

Since my hair was still perfect, that night I was dressed up and set about visiting that lone parking lot again. Monday was a quiet night but I did find a couple of men to take care of. I was so much better at this than when Angie and I first came here. Putting on makeup knowing that you were doing it for men was nice. I loved putting on mascara and painting my lips knowing that they would be appreciated. I was wearing another crop top and a short stretchy skirt. It made bending down in the backseats, or maneuvering around the steering wheel easier. I should write a pamphlet, it would be extremely short but totally indispensable. The first man of the night, I gave him a hand job while reaching into the driver's window. My ass was on display to the other drivers. I was getting hard and pressing into his car door. I let him play with my breasts as they hung. I was wearing my double D forms and they looked and felt incredible. He was kissing one and playing with the other. I rubbed him with both hands and he came all over the steering wheel. He gave me two twenty-dollar bills and I slipped them into my back pocket when we were done. I felt very sleazy.

Once home I was still so horny. I put some old pictures up on my account and even put one of my new videos. I changed again, I had on a tight white sweater, showing off so much cleavage. My skirt was short and showed off my legs in beige pantyhose. I looked so cute, matching with my white pumps. I then pulled out my silicone cock with the suction cup. I couldn't believe I was still so worked up. I was glad Lilly wasn't really talking to me, I knew I wouldn't be bothered tonight. I was walking around my room posing and sucking on the hard cock, I had never done this before. I needed cock in my mouth something terrible. I sat at my vanity. I then put on a slideshow of all my new pictures on my laptop. I had a strong touch of Autogynephilia, I loved looking at myself in all of my feminine glory. I was quite proud of how I turned out. I started to feel like one of the Sosa's again, I just wished I looked a little happier in my pictures. At least the couple that I had from the event on Saturday showed me with people, I looked so happy to be part of a crowd.

It didn't take long, fapping in front of my computer, the hard seven-inch cock in my mouth. One day I will give it a name. Being with the men in the Mall parking lot was so anonymous, I longed to call out my lovers names as they made me orgasm or I made them cum. I would love to just cuddle in someone's arms after it was over at least just once. This night I just closed my eyes and lived in my imagination for a little while longer.

Tuesday was exactly the same, a couple of handjobs and quick suck and then back in front of my laptop. My silicone dildo was never this popular before. I searched for GBD at the Mall, but saw nothing of course. Then on Wednesday, I found his car, I put a note on his windshield asking him to meet me on Thursday night. Our spot. With love from Nena.

***

The entire week I went to the Mall parking lot, intending to meet GBD, but meeting so many others. I felt like I was losing control a little. My wrists, mouth, and jaw were so sore when I got home. My makeup was done a little too quickly on those nights and I definitely wasn't dressing up to the Sosa sister's standards. A couple of nights I didn't even wear my false lashes. Once I found the white car I was looking for I felt a little better. I feel like I had to close this chapter of my life. This would be the way to end it. Late Wednesday night I called Juliana and Márcia, I couldn't believe how much I had been missing them. They were like comfort food or a childhood movie to me. When I heard their voices I felt a little more grounded.

Years ago, in their little house in Edison, when I told them I was probably transgender, they didn't even know what it meant. Juliana is now a therapist back in Brazil and Márcia and her Mom now run the family business. I felt like all of us have grown. All of us have taken chances and lived and loved a little more. I missed them and I needed to share my life with them again. I needed them to get me back on track.

I started to remember, it was long ago. I felt so young around them, I was wearing one of Márcia's flowered dresses and my hair was probably in a ponytail. I was sitting at their kitchen table, I just turned nineteen, we were having a wonderful dinner. We were definitely drinking wine or some sort of specialty drink. I probably made it for them, they were easy, they loved everything.

I remember that day so vividly I was feeling a little melancholy, my mother was getting remarried. She and her new husband were going to Atlantic City with their new friends. I wasn't invited, I was the only one not to attend the wedding. My mother told me I would have a terrible time. I wanted to see her in her dress, I wanted to throw rice.

I was a little sad, looking at the three beautiful women. I would do anything in the world for them. I knew I would never really be like them. They were letting me stay the weekend, and I was so grateful.

"Mamãe Sosa, if I was your third daughter what would you have named me?" I asked her, for some reason I started to form tears. She was so good to me, I spent more time here than my own home. I loved her and her two daughters more than anyone else in my life. They would never tell me I would have a terrible time. They would show me their dresses, they would let me throw rice.

She gave me the look she always saved for me. I couldn't really tell what it meant, but I loved it. I knew she was happy. She put her hand in my hair. "Mmm, let me think. Mmm, nineteen years ago, mmm we were still in Goiânia. The girls and I were living with a man named Claude, he was from Paris and he worked with my father. I was so in love with him, meu amor."

"I remember him, He was nice and he was gorgeous." Juliana reminded them.

Mamãe Sosa laughed, "You," she took hold of my wrist, "you would have been his child, ha, ha... We would have called you something French. Something like... Giselle." Her eyes widened.

I looked at her and held her hand, "Can I be Giselle?"

"Of course, you can, my little love child from my Parisian lover, ha."

I smiled at my new mom, relishing my new name. "Maybe we can call him for child support." They laughed, they were always laughing. They thought I was so funny. My tears were totally gone.

After that, I felt so much better about myself. I didn't mind being transgender. I didn't mind whatever I was, I was part of a family. They then got me my own subscription to Vogue Magazine. The Sosa sisters sent catalogs from their favorite clothing places to my house. They wanted me to get started on a collection of my own dresses. A collection of perfect flowered dresses, from Spain, mostly. My mother never asked me who Giselle was, but the catalogs were always in my room. If she asked I would have told her. Actually, I would have had Mamãe Sosa tell her.

Ring. Ring.

I couldn't wait to hear their feminine voices. "Hi, is it too late, can you talk?"

"Giselle? Of course, you still sound so maravilhosa. I have missed your voice."

I talked to them for an hour. First I asked how they were, and asked about their mom. I even asked if they had heard from Claude, which made them laugh. It has been more than three years since I had seen them, it felt so much longer, so many things have changed in our lives. I then gave them my update. I told them about the job and all the extra money I had been given. I took updated pictures of my townhouse and showed them all my new curtains and new couch and dresses. Lastly, I told them about Lilly and then sent pictures from the Breast Cancer event.

Juliana said, "You are becoming even more beautiful. When are you coming to Brazil? When are you coming to visit the rest of your family?"

We all laughed. They were my family and I missed them, saying goodnight was hard. I was thinking, would I ever get to Brazil? Would I EVER see them again?

"Goodnight Giselle."

***

It was Thursday night, I hadn't heard from Lilly since Sunday. It was the longest we had ever gone without seeing or hearing from each other. I started thinking, I had never gotten angry with her or disappointed until now. I was always so easygoing anyway. She was the one with the temper but she rarely got angry at me. I did her every favor she ever asked for. I thought about it, yes everything, I was a pretty good boyfriend. Turns out being a girlfriend was a different story.

Once home from work I took a shower and washed my hair. I put a couple of rollers in to curl the bottom and picked out my outfit for the night. I wanted to be slutty. I put on my D-cup white bra and filled it with my forms. It had full coverage, I didn't want to be hanging out. I slipped on a yellow tank top that barely covered the bra straps. I had on white panties that had little roses around all the trim. They were very fancy-looking and pretty sexy. I put on nude thigh highs and then a short full denim skirt. It wasn't tight at all and the hem landed at the same level as the tops of my stockings. I slipped into four-inch nude pumps and grabbed my matching bag.

I had a date at eight, I was meeting a man in his car. Sometimes when it's late and I can't sleep I take my silicone friend to bed and make-believe I'm pleasuring the man in the pine-smelling car. It always works, I cum and then fall asleep. Other times I just color.

***

I saw the white car and parked right behind him. The lot was pretty busy, Thursdays and Saturdays were the busiest. I saw him glance at me in his rearview mirror, I decided I was going to change the rules. I was going to bring him home. If Lilly could be seeing someone else so could I. I was wishing I gave some of the men from the corporate event my real number. I very rarely came in contact with real men for something like a date.

He walked out of his car and came to my window. "Hi, I haven't seen you in so long, do I get a kiss?"

I smiled up at him and pursed my lips, we kissed on the cheek. "I was thinking, why don't you follow me I know a better place."

I could tell he didn't want to leave the lot, he checked his watch and finally said okay.

"I could drive you back if you want," I told him but he got in his car and followed me.

We got two perfect spots right in front of the house. He followed me up the steps and then followed me into the townhouse. I looked around outside, I didn't want anyone seeing me bring a man into the house for some reason. I even double-locked the door, I was acting a little paranoid.

He glanced around the room, he seemed pretty impressed. I made drinks and handed him one, "Port wine and tonic with lime," I told him. He smiled as he drank, I was going to start entertaining more men, starting right now. I was going to sneak them through the basement.

"You live alone?

"Sometimes," I was being cute.

He moved closer to me and kissed my neck. He had one hand on his glass and another on my hip. He was much stronger than I thought, I felt him pull me into his body. I took his glass and placed it on the table. I put my arms around his neck and he slipped his hands under my skirt and rubbed my panties. He pulled back and smiled at me.

"You are hot. Do you know you were my first tranny?"

The bell rang and I froze.

"What the fuck," I whispered. Then my phone rang. We disengaged and I went to answer it, this was crazy. "Shit." My hands started to shake.

"I have to ask you something, open up." It was Lilly, why does she keep on showing up with no warning?

"Um, can you come back in an hour, please, I'm in the middle of something?"

"Wait, you're dressed up, I don't care. Actually, that's better, I have the pictures from the event and I have to call Mr. Flores. Just open the door."

I looked over at the man, he gave me a 'what's the matter look.' I took his hand and his drink and brought him into my room.

I was feeling a little frantic, "I can't believe my girlfriend is here I will get rid of her a soon a possible. I'm sorry." He then grabbed me, I dropped the glass and it broke, making my stockings and the bottom of his pants wet. He pulled me close, his face right in front of mine.

"Let her in, then come back in here."

He was making me nervous, "I don't want her to know you're here, please..."

"She won't know, let her in but if you don't come back in this room I am going to introduce myself to her," He gave me this weird grin. I started to shake, I put on music and closed the door.

Lilly was holding her laptop when I opened the door. "About time. Why you lockin' the door?" She walked in while I held it open. "Why didn't I realize you are always dressed like a girl. Was I not paying attention?" She put down her computer and looked at my legs. "That skirt is kind of short." She seemed a little surprised.

"Well, um, this is just for in the house."

"I circled the block two minutes ago and your car wasn't out front, must have been a quick change." She then went to the kitchen and put down the laptop. "I got all the pictures back, there is a lot of them, I will give you all of 'em." She then picked up the drink on the table and sniffed. "And do me a favor, make me one of these, please."

I couldn't believe I had a man in my room, and he was being a fucking jerk. I should just tell Lilly and make him leave, but I didn't want her to know. I didn't want her to think I was gay, or liked men, or was cheating on her. Even though I was doing all three. Being gay was the first question she asked me, I would feel like an even bigger fool. I gave her a drink and told her I would be right back, I dropped a glass, I had to clean up. I walked back into my room with Windex and a towel. I closed the door and he grabbed me. I dropped the Windex this time.

"Can't believe your girlfriend is here, you don't want her to find out you're a faggot, huh? Let's see how quiet you can fuck then," He then pushed me onto the bed.

"I'm not letting you fuck me," I whispered.

"You most certainly are." I stood up and he pushed me back on the bed. He ran his hands on my nylon legs. "God you are so fuckin' hot, I wanted to fuck you the first time I ever saw you. You are so much hotter now."

"Wait, let me give you head, we can't be doing this. Please." I slipped by him and put the music louder. He grabbed me again and pulled me back onto the bed, I tripped on my heels and fell on my backside.

"Turn around, let me see that ass." He grabbed me harder by the hips and spun me around, he then pushed me down on the bed and slapped me. He put his full weight on top of me as he kissed my neck and arms. He then pulled my hair.

"Oww."

"What the fuck I thought you said you were a tranny?"

He was getting loud and I tried to turn around to look at him but I couldn't move. He started rubbing my back and then he went back to my legs, I started to turn around and he forcibly turned me over. He grabbed my breasts. "You lyin' to me, these real too." He put his hand under my top and then under the bra. I could tell he was satisfied they were fake, but he wasn't going to like what was in my panties. I was completely tucked, I had a tiny bit of tape. My 'clit' was small, to begin with, and I never had a problem hiding it. He reached under and pulled down my panties, bringing them over my heels. He stuffed them in my mouth. He grabbed my hands and he held them on my stomach. He was so strong, I was getting nervous in his grip.

I heard Lilly call through the door, "Do you have a thumb drive or something for the pictures?"

He was smiling he pulled down his pants, his cock was so hard and throbbing. He let go of my hands as he pulled my body closer to the end of the bed, my ass was almost hanging off.

Lilly knocked, "Giselle I need a drive."

I pulled the panties out of my mouth as he leaned into me. "I have to find one, I will be right out."

He got close and whispered, "Giselle, I like that. You couldn't of picked a fucking girlier name for yourself." His smile was so big, he was enjoying this. He lifted my skirt and got lower to investigate my crotch. I pushed him, I tried to get up and his body went on me again.

He put his hand on my throat, "Do you want her finding out about this?" He slightly tightened his grip, "Just stop, you know this is the reason you brought me here." I then felt his cock get closer to my 'pussy.' He let go of my throat as he moved up and put both of his hands on my legs, he bent them back. He kissed my knees and licked the nylon. "Mmm, nice baby girl, you almost have a pussy, ha." His hands were now on the back of my thighs, his cock was looking for a hole. He moved closer and I felt him right outside of it. "I am going to love fuckin' you, I hope you are a virgin. A virgin tranny with no cock." He gave a little laugh and spit, I felt him push in. It hurt, I wanted to scream. He pushed more and I put my hand on his hip I tried to stop him from pushing into me too quick. He then started pumping, getting a little deeper with every push. I felt him inch in even more. He let out a huge sigh once his cock was buried inside me. I felt his body leaning against me. He was taking my virginity against my will.

"You are so tight." He bent down as close as he could, bending my body back. "If you are gonna scream now is the time." He then started pumping again, he was fucking me so hard, he was going so deep. He had an evil grin the whole time. "You like me fucking you with your girlfriend right on the other side of this door. I'm fucking her fairy boyfriend who likes cocks. Maybe I should fuck her too"

I looked at him, I was full of disgust, "Hurry up asshole." And I shook my body, his cock fell out and he slipped it back in.

He started to push harder, he was moving me more onto the bed. He was grunting with every push, I then felt him cum. He fucked me until his orgasm subsided. I stayed completely tucked the whole time. He shook me a little more, he pulled out and finally let go of my thighs. I would be red for days, I could still feel his hands on them. "First you and now her." He said.

I kicked him in the balls with my heels.

He let out a slight yelp, I jumped up. I was over him as he doubled over. I whispered, "Just shut up, I let you fuck me, now be quiet for like five minutes. When did you become such an asshole?" He was still doubled over and his pants were down so I grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. I stood up and straighten myself out as best as I could. I raised the music some more and went into the kitchen.

"Here you go." I gave Lilly a hard drive. She was silent, I didn't know what she heard. I was listening, and thinking the man might be dead he was too quiet. I thought for sure he was going to make a scene. My hands were shaking.

She called me over. "Look how beautiful you were." And then she went through a couple of the pictures. I couldn't wait to see all of them, but I couldn't concentrate with a man in my bedroom, one who just screwed me. And I felt a little funny standing here with Lilly while wearing no panties, I was glad his cum wasn't dripping down my legs.

Lilly then picked up her phone as I filled up her drink, I was still shaking, things seemed so crazy.

"I promised I would call Benjamin once I was with you." She told me and laid her phone on the table next to her laptop. I didn't really understand what was happening, I downed my drink. "Hi, Ben. I'm with Giselle."

I looked at Lilly as I heard Ben's voice. "Hey, ladies, thank you so much for calling. Giselle, did you see the pictures?"

I cleared my throat, "Yes, some of them."

"Great, you looked wonderful, and thank you again, you can not even imagine how much anxiety I would have been in if you hadn't magically appeared." He laughed. "I have one more thing to ask of you and then I will let you get on with your life."

I shot a quick look at Lilly and she shrugged.

"My son has done nothing but pester me about you, he told me he had such a nice time on Saturday and he begged me to invite you over."

Lilly gave me a weird look, "Your son?"

"Yes you met him at the event, I was thinking... can the two of you come over this Saturday? We can have a perfect authentic Argentinian meal, a barbeque, you two will love it."

"Okay," I said a little too quick, I just wanted Lilly out of the house, I wanted to get rid of everyone.

"Great, I will have a car pick you up at two, send me an address. We will have a party in the yard."

"Okay that sounds great," Lilly told him and we said goodbye. She hung up, shut her phone, and closed the laptop. "I didn't know that's what he was going to ask. I thought he wanted to just ask you about the pictures. Maybe he wants us to babysit."

"Maybe. I think I'm pretty good with children,"

"Do you remember the kids' names?"

"Alma and Bruno," I tried to smile at her, I don't know if I succeeded. "Maybe you better go, I don't feel too good."

She looked at me and then touched my chin, "Your lips are smudged. Every other time I saw you, you have looked so perfect."

She packed up and I walked her to the door. "Thank you," I told her.

She smiled, then walked down the stairs, "No thank you, you are going to make me employee of the year. You are such a diva. You are going to break the hearts of children everywhere." She laughed and I watched her walk to the car. I watched her drive away. Tonight, I was going to miss her.

I almost forgot I had an unwanted guest. I ran back in and opened my bedroom door, I would have to clean and mop once he was gone. He was laying on the bed, looking at his phone. He looked up when I stood over him. "Done? Hold on... one... sec... Okay." He got up, tapped my ass as he passed me, and walked out of the room. He made a grab for, sniffed, and then he finished Lilly's drink. "Where's my wallet?"

I opened it and looked at his name and address, and then threw it at him. "You were a jerk, I would have given you all night."

"All night? I gotta get home, my wife is gonna be pissed. I don't have all night."

He walked to the door and I followed, I was so disappointed in him. He was always so nice in his car. Angie was right, never get involved with people from the parking lot.

He turned around as he exited the door, I was about to close it on him. "Wait, can we do this again? Up until you kicked me in the nuts I was having a pretty great time."

I stared at him, he wanted to get together again? I couldn't believe I was seeking him out and thinking about him this whole time. I need better taste in men. "You want to do this again?"

"Yeah, you are so hot and it was fun. I love hanging out with you. Sorry, I got too rough, I was getting into it."

"You called me some nasty names." I didn't know what to say, I was surprised, he was playing a game. "Um, I'm going to need flowers, candy, I need you to start apologizing, big time."

"You got it. Sorry, Giselle. Next time you see me I will be holding a huge bouquet of roses." He walked down the steps.

"Goodbye Raymond." He looked back at me and then got into his car. I closed the door, leaned against it, and slid down on my ass with a little thump. What a fucking night.

***

End of Part 3

***

Life Seems to Suck Sometimes (Part 4)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hmmm, this is the sweet chapter, also the one with the most sex... So sweet and sexy, just like all of us here in the Big Closet... Nothing we are not used to, ha... Thank you so much for reading and I hope YOU like it...

***

Part 4 of 5

The next morning I was a mess. Life seems to suck sometimes. I had to get up for work and I was so late. After a long shower, I put my hair up into a wool hat. When I got to work I asked my boss, Mr. Fulsom, if I could talk to him.

"Okay come on in."

I sat across, I had been working here for almost six years. I had taken the job while I was still in college. When I started I was working for free, now I'm guessing I was one of the highest-paid employees.

"I need a couple of weeks off," I told him, a strange grimace sneaking onto my face.

"Okay, you have a lot of time coming to you, why don't you take off all of June. Just call and check in every once in a while." He picked up his office phone. "Jan, can you transfer ten thousand dollars into O'Doherty's account, thanks."

"You didn't have to do that."

He shrugged, "It's just extra for your vacation. I want you to eat, you are getting so skinny."

Little did he realize, I was at my perfect weight, this was what I had been working towards. My long hair and my figure.

"And I'm glad you left at a decent hour all last week, ten to twelve hours a day is a crazy work schedule. You don't have to work so hard."

"I know," I shrugged, "Everything here is cleaned up but I'm working through some things, I should be fine after a break."

I got up, I told him I had a couple of things to finish today, and then I would sneak out early.

He laughed. "You never have to sneak, do whatever you feel." I snuck out a couple of hours early anyway.

***

I got home, the block was nice and quiet on a Friday afternoon, and changed, all this back and forth between male and female was making me crazy. I would now have a whole month to relish in my femininity. I was going to stay a girl the whole time, I didn't even care what Lilly thought, though she didn't seem to be minding it. I changed into a short denim dress, it was tight, I wore a push-up bra and showed as much cleavage as I could make. I put on a little too much makeup and put on my long nails. I painted them bright pink. It was still early, but I was going to go back to the Mall parking lot. I wouldn't be looking for Raymond.

Ring. Ring.

I picked up on the second ring, I was putting in my big gold hoops. "Hello."

"Nena, what are you doing later?" It was Angie, it always made me happier to talk to her. I hadn't seen enough of her this week, or in my life lately.

"Nothing, of course. I'm going to run out now, need anything from the mall?

"What? You are going to the mall? Can I come with?"

I couldn't go with her dressed like I was. I didn't even like her seeing me when I wasn't impeccably dressed. I was getting lazy, or maybe horny, I didn't even know anymore. "Okay, I just need to get changed, I'll pick you up."

***

I beeped, I was sitting on the hood of my car, looking all sexy. I changed into a short pink dress, the collar right up to my neck, a Sosa special. I had on my nude thigh highs and nude pumps, this time with a slight platform and ankle straps. I had my matching purse with a gold chain sitting in the back seat. I was ready for the mall, I was completely ready to hang out with Angie.

Beep. Beep. "Mama you wastin' time," I yelled as Angie looked out of her door. She was surprised, who did she think was going to be beeping.

"I shoulda' known, you be the one makin' a racket." We hopped in the front and took off. I drove right by my favorite parking lot.

I told Angie I had off for the next month, she was ecstatic. I also told her I called up the Sosa sisters Wednesday night and that I had another outing as Giselle with Lilly the next day.

"Wow, you are a pretty busy girl, what happened to that once-a-week dressing-up schedule?"

"I am completely off the grid now,"

She laughed. "Finally. One day a week, I thought you were crazy."

Once at the Mall, we went and picked up our new hosiery. We had the whole department to ourselves. Angie then decided I needed new hair. We went to her salon, Golden Doves. Everyone was surprised to see the boss on her day off. She pointed and gave all sorts of instructions. She made me sit and not move. It was a long two hours but when they were done my hair was long, down to the middle of my back and a light strawberry red. Darker than my natural hair. The women at the salon also colored my eyebrows, making them match, each other.

"No one knows you are not a natural redhead." She laughed as I also got eyelash extensions.

We then both got acrylic nails put on and then painted, gone was my bright pink and it was replaced by a softer one. It went so much nicer with my dress. When we left her salon, I couldn't stop checking out my new hair and nails. I looked more like one of the Sosa sisters now than ever. Their hair was always so long, all my wigs matched them. I could never get my hair to look like this, no matter how much product I put into it or how many times I have tried. Angie had to pull me away from every reflective surface we passed.

We went out for a light lunch and I reluctantly told Angie what else had happened the night before. She held my hand the entire time. She seemed surprised. "So am I right in thinking you are done with that parking lot?"

"I guess." I looked up at her.

"You guess?"

"No, you're right I'm done."

"I'm sorry I introduced you to it, you need more mature relationships, Nena. Are you done with Lilly too?"

"I think so, I was going to end it tomorrow, probably after the Flores visit. You know she has been very understanding about this whole girl thing."

"Well, Lilly is acting like an adult. Now it's your turn." She then took out her phone and called Trevor. She made plans for tonight. She smiled at me and made faces, while I tried not to pay attention.

When she hung up she put her fingers in my hair, "I can't wait to watch you show off your new sexy hair, it will be good practice for tomorrow." I didn't really know what she was talking about.

***

We went to a book store, I told her about Mr. Flores' children, I showed her the pictures of little Bruno and me. I wanted to get coloring books. I had crayons all over my house, I loved to color, it kept my mind focused. I even had some of my works on my wall in my room. Lilly had never even seen them, until recently.

"Do children other than you still color?" She asked.

"Of course, but you must color with them, children want company, just like you and I." We laughed. "There is nothing like a little company."

I picked up four of the large Crayola Crayon boxes with sixty-four crayons. The more the better. I ended up buying seven books, all different types. One of course for Angie to practice at home, with her new crayons.

***

"I want you to make drinks tonight," Angie told me as we walked up her stairs into her house. I was parked right in front, right in the driveway. I stood on her steps and surveyed the block, it was so much different from mine, it was all houses and lawns and children. It was two blocks away from my townhouse, with a swimming pool, tennis court, and access to the shops. I liked this so much better. I was standing at the door too long, I heard Angie call me.

"I have all your favorite ingredients in the kitchen Nena!" Angie laughed.

"All of them, do you have room?" We laughed together. I haven't hung out with Angie on a Friday afternoon alone in over a year. We put our bags down on the dining room table.

I looked in her kitchen, there were only three things on her counter. She walked up behind me, I felt her hands on my shoulders and her face in my hair. "Nena this hair totally suits you," And she kissed me loudly. "Do you remember the night, I told you that Trevor asked me to move in with him?"

"I do."

"You made me that crazy drink, with the 'Lifesaver.' Only a white girl could get away with a 'Lifesaver' instead of a lime." She kissed my cheek.

That night I made her my specialty a 'Brooklyn Paloma,' I wanted to cheer her up, she was so nervous about moving in with a man. Actually, I had only made that drink once, it was the only ingredients I had in my kitchen at the time. Sometimes you have to improvise and you always have to give it a name. Everything I ever made up on the spot I lie and say it was my specialty. I had so many specialties. People would accept it better if I wasn't trying it out on them for the first time. Everything was always better the second time around.

"I could make anything into a white girl drink."

"I know, that's your superpower." She laughed. "I have someone coming over tonight I want you to meet. Trevor should be home in an hour or so, they should get here together."

"Really? You want me to stay?"

"Of course, we should hang out more. You work so hard, we never get to hang. You know, Trevor says that out of all of our friends, you are the only one he would live with on a desert island."

"Is that good?" I queried.

"I think it is. He says it ALL the time." She giggled some more. "I think it's because you are beautiful... and resourceful, haha."

***

I helped Angie put the food in the oven as we drank our specialty drinks. I cut up limes for when Trevor got home, I didn't need to subject him and his guest to another one of my white girl concoctions.

We heard the door, "Angie, Nena?"

"In here we will be right out!" She walked over to me and fixed my dress. "I have been saving this moment until I knew you were ready. Are you ready?"

"Um, I don't know. Am I?"

"Ha, you are, now take in those drinks, let's get this night started."

Next to Trevor was a man. A tall well-proportioned man, he smiled at me when I walked into the room. I had a tray of drinks and I suddenly got a little nervous holding them, Trevor helped me put it on the coffee table.

"Giselle," Trevor grabbed my arm and kissed my cheek, it was the first time I ever heard him use my name. He then looked at me, "I want you to meet Bryson, Bryson Rogers. I want you, my future wife's best friend, to meet mine.

Bryson took my hand and he kissed my cheek. "So nice to meet you," He said in his deep dark voice.

I just smiled, I was afraid to talk, and then I looked at Trevor. "Future wife?"

"Ha, ha yes. Angie said that I could surprise you. Ha, are you surprised?"

I looked over at Angie, she was grinning her crazy grin. "I am, and I am quite happy about this news. I have to tell someone." I skipped past all of them and opened the front door. There were people out gardening, fixing their cars, even some children playing. "Trevor and Angie are going to get married!" I yelled to them and waved, they didn't seem that surprised, but I did get a thumbs up from one of the kids.

I was crying and giggling as I walked back in, I needed to tell somebody. I didn't know anyone I could tell, I was going to sneak into the bathroom and call the Sosa Sisters later. We picked up our drinks and congratulated them.

"Giselle made these, she is a regular Cosmetologist."

I looked at her, "Is that someone who makes Cosmopiltans?" It was crazy that she messed up that word considering that was her line of work.

"No, haha, I mean, mixologist."

Bryson sipped, "It's wonderful, what is it called?"

"A Paloma, it's popular in Mexico. The 'Lifesaver' around the straw is my idea of a little local color."

They laughed and we drank, we even had another round. We ate dinner and then sat for dessert. Bryson brought something from a small bakery in his neighborhood. We sat and listened to music, I was enjoying the company. I loved not having to answer any crazy questions like the ones Lilly was lately asking me. I loved not thinking about work or driving around the mall searching for something and someone bad for me. I loved leaning into a man and talking to friends.

Why was I making myself so busy? Why did I avoid being Giselle for so long?

One day? Just one day a week? No wonder I went a little crazy.

It was getting late, we were wrapping up dinner. We were standing in the kitchen and I was cleaning all of the glasses. THIS was the way I loved to be busy.

"Bryson, why don't you walk Giselle home?" Angie looked at me. "She is very close, I wish she was closer."

"I would love to."

***

We walked by my car in the driveway. It was after ten, the neighborhood was quiet but on my block, it was still quite busy. The restaurants were still open and the coffee shops were crowded.

Bryson held my hand, "This is a nice town." I squeezed and smiled. We sat down outside one of the coffee shops, I could see my front door from here and I pointed it out to him.

A girl walked over to us. "Two coffees?" He looked at me and I lightly shook my head. "Giselle, you are very pretty and so much fun, I have to thank Trevor for finally introducing us."

I started looking more closely at him. I was wondering if I could start dating a man. I was thinking I would love to try. He was quite handsome and he was so wide and tall, he was probably the same size as Trevor, just noticeably lighter-skinned. And I loved people watching us and seeing a man and a 'woman.' When I was by myself I thought I stood out, with a beacon of light on me.

He took my hand, "I have to tell you something," He looked up at the clouds, "I am seeing a woman, we have been together for about, mmm, a year." He looked at me, but I wasn't that surprised. "Trevor tells me I am like someone who is stuck in traffic. I have my hand on the horn. He wants me to get off at the next exit ramp, but I am having trouble." He shook his head.

I smiled at him, he was being cute. "I feel the same, I just can't make it over to the exit lane. It's crowded and no one will let me change lanes." I smiled and he then squeezed my hand. He lifted it and kissed my fingers.

"You have beautiful hands too," We were holding hands once again. "One day I am just going to get out of my car, slam the door, climb over the other cars in the way, and run down the exit. I want to take a different path, I'm just not ready."

Our coffee came, I looked up at the waitress, she was probably about my age. "Thank you, I'm Giselle and this is Bryson."

"Hi, I'm Maria."

"You are so nice Maria, thank you for working so late." I smiled up at her, she was about to walk away. "Oh, Maria?

"Mmm?"

"Can you believe I live right there?" I pointed right across the street to my townhouse complex. "And I have never been here. Would you mind if I make this my favorite place?"

"Haha, not at all. I hope you like your favorite spot." I did, we had our coffee and then Bryson walked me the quarter of a block home. There was an empty spot in front of the house too. But I now had a favorite one. Angie's driveway.

I opened the door, Bryson put his arms around me and kissed me goodnight. It was my first real goodnight kiss from a man. We kissed again. Our lips were tightly together, when his tongue found its way inside I pulled him closer, his hands roamed my body. I was wondering if Maria was outside the shop watching.

"Is your girlfriend going to miss you tonight?" I whispered in his ear.

"Not at all, Friday is my night. She tends to take the other six days." He laughed and kissed me again.

"You are very lucky, six nights with someone. I would love that. If you like you can stay?"

He didn't answer. We locked the door.

***

I held his hand as I led him toward my room. I would give him the tour another day. I knocked and then turned back to him. "It's empty." I smiled and we went inside. I put on a small light and I started to take off his shirt. I ran my fingers through his chest, he was so hard and strong. I lightly kissed his shoulder. I stood back and put my hands on my hips. "I wish I was wearing something a little sexier." At least my lips, hair, and new eyebrows were still perfect. I had a whole closet of outfits I could be modeling.

"You mean to tell me you can get even sexier?"

"I can." I played with my long hair, my dress was so conservative, though the hem did reach way above my knees. My sleeves were three-quarter length and I had just a slight belt around my thin waist. The neckline reached all the way up, even hiding the little chain I had on. I turned around and held up my hair. I felt his hands on the little zipper. I felt it move down the length of my back, and I got chills, he helped me take it off, it fell hiding my heels. I pushed my pink pantied ass into his crotch. I turned around and slid down his pants, taking his shoes and socks off in the process.

We kissed. We kissed deliberately, I let him taste me. Slowly he entered my lips again. I felt my breast form push against his chest. I felt his hard cock make an appearance, and I pushed more into him. My nylon legs rubbed against his bare ones. I whispered in his ear. "Would it be okay if I let you have my body?"

He looked at me. "Would it be okay... if I got out of my car, jumped over the next one, and ran full speed down the exit ramp?"

"Ha.." I looked at him and lightly kissed his lips. "It's okay if you want to stay relaxing in your car a little longer," I kissed his neck, "listening to music," I pushed my breasts into him, he started to look down, "daydreaming, waiting for traffic to open up. I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"No, can't you see me in the car right behind you? Look in your rearview mirror, I'm waving. You should pay more attention to your surroundings." I giggled. "Let's have tonight. We can worry about the rest of our lives some other time. I'm sure we will be seeing a lot of each other once our friends get married." He smiled and we kissed again. I led him to the bed and fell onto him.

It was crazy to me how I have been dreaming about being with a man since I was a teenager before I even met Lilly or the Sosa's. Now, here I am the second day in a row, I hoped that this set a precedent. I will have a different man every night.

We made out and rolled on my bed, I was loving how he kissed and caressed my body. His mouth nibbled on my thigh, kissing my nylon knees and ankles. He chuckled when I told him I wanted to keep my heels on. Sometimes I slept with them all night. Life was too short to go without sexy shoes and stockings.

I was on my back, he was kissing my hairless belly and he inched down to my panties. I let him do what he wanted.

"Giselle? Thank you for letting me experiment. Can I really make love to you?"

I moved up onto my elbows, "I would love that, but make sure you take notes. I want to give it to the next man that occupies my bed."

He smiled and went back and kissed the mound in my panties. He looked at me again, while his hands played with my body. "I have to wear a condom, I told my partner that I would only be unprotected with her. Is that okay?"

"It is."

He magically pulled out a condom and pulled down my panties. I stayed tucked but once he started playing down there I'm sure I would start to come loose. I wasn't as tightly tucked as last night. He put a finger inside me as he moved up and started kissing me again. We stayed like this until he had three fingers inside. He fingered and kissed, I was losing my breath and voice.

I turned to my side and I felt his cock against me. I squeezed him between my cheeks. I felt him against my hole, 'my pussy' was waiting to be invaded. "Bryson, I'm so ready for you."

His cock started to push between my cheeks again and he licked my arms and shoulder. I felt the head of his cock just outside of me, just waiting to enter. He was so much bigger than the unwanted invader yesterday, but I was mentally prepared.

"Oh my god," I yelped as he pushed in, maybe I wasn't that prepared. I felt a stinging inside of me and I bit my lip. I felt him rub my arm as he slid in more. He consoled me the whole time, I felt like a little girl. He started moving his hard cock in and out of me, each time it felt like he was getting deeper. All of a sudden I felt something inside me give and he pushed straight through. I moaned so loud and his body was now completely against me. I felt his stomach on my back. He rubbed my stockings as he pushed harder once more. He was kissing my shoulder and neck, he started pulling my hair.

He made me get up on my knees. He grabbed me by my hips and he was in once again. he started pumping harder, I couldn't breathe, I was loving it so much. The bed was making so much noise as his body moved behind me, I fell and he pumped more, never losing his stride. I felt myself move my ass into him, grinding and then making a circular motion. I felt him hitting spots inside me making me shiver. I was begging him to go harder. And he did.

He pulled out, I wanted him back in I felt so empty. I went onto my back. This was the position I was in yesterday, but the view was so much better. I would never let Raymond near me again, I don't care how many flowers he was prepared to give me. There were too many men in this world that were wonderful.

"You look great in this position." He laid on top of me and we kissed, slow and sloppy, with my hands in his hair, my legs around his waist. He then moved up. He smiled and aimed his cock at me again, he bent down and we almost kissed. He was inches from me, I could feel his breath as his cock slipped in and he pumped away again. My nylons rubbed against his body with every thrust, I still had my heels on and they looked so sexy in the air. He moved up and grabbed my waist again. "I'm gonna cum baby where do you want it?"

Where? I didn't know, no one ever asked me questions like this. It was usually 'Who are you?,' 'What are you doing in this house?' 'Why can't you make me happy?' Well, no one ever really asked me that, but I was very rarely on my back with a huge cock inside me. "Cum on my stomach?"

He smiled as he pumped some more. "Okay." He thrust one last time, he was so deep, I started to orgasm myself, I hid my 'clit' with my hands, I was squirting onto his cock.

"Oh, my god, Bryson it feels so good," I then let out a huge yell as he pulled his dick out of me. He ripped off the rubber, his cock was aiming at me. He was smiling as he played with his hard cock, he started to cum, the first shot landed right above my crotch, then my stomach, then bra.

He leaned down and started kissing me again. "You were incredible." We kissed some more and I felt his cum on my body, I wanted to taste it. He lifted and laid next to me, his wet cock still hard and rubbing against my ass. I took my finger and wiped his cum from my bra. I tentatively put it to my lips. I turned to him and he watched me taste him, I sucked on my finger. I took the little last bit of cum I found on my belly, and put my finger with my long impossible nails on my lips. I rubbed his cum into the pink and smiled. His cum mixing with my lipstick. I licked my lips and he grabbed my hips and started pumping again, his cock was once again between my cheeks.

"Giselle, sorry I'm gonna cum again. Ahh..." And he did. I felt his jism between the cheeks of my ass and some on my hip. Next time I want a man to just cum in my mouth, like the men in the parking lot. He laid down exhausted. I turned so I could see him. We held each other, my forehead against his. What a wonderful day this has been. I couldn't wait to tell Angie and the Sosa sisters I got fucked on my new beautiful comforter.

***

It was quite late, I was completely exhausted. We woke and he had fucked me once again in the middle of the night. I didn't realize I was so flexible in bed with a man. We were in so many positions, I felt like a porn star and I was still wearing my nude pumps. I could feel his cum inside my belly, it was nice, it was somewhat comforting. I stretched and put my head on his chest, I felt his arm wrap around me. I was glad we made love, I was glad he experimented with me. It made me giggle to think that was how he phrased it. Little did he realize but I was experimenting with him too.

He whispered, "Giselle? Are you up?"

"Mmm."

"Angie told me you had a girlfriend."

"I do, well I did. I still might..." I moved up and laid on my back as Bryson leaned on his elbow. His other hand investigated my breasts through my bra.

He was looking at me. "Did you sleep with her, dressed like this? In a bra and stockings?"

"No," I closed my eyes. "I like men."

"Well, they most certainly like you."

I awoke again, he was looking at me, he started putting his fingers on my lips. "You have such nice lips and your eyes are so blue." He kissed my bra and started nuzzling my breast forms. I reached for his head and pulled him down, feeling him on my breasts. I felt his heartbeat and I heard him breathing, it was so late. He started to whisper again, "Giselle, What's the difference between transgender and gender fluid?"

I didn't even have to think. "Higher heels." And I fell asleep, I hope he didn't leave before I woke up in the morning. I wanted to go to our favorite coffee shop.

***

I woke up early, I took a shower, I made myself beautiful.

I made coffee, I bought muffins, I bought fruit, I made fruit salad. There was no way I could keep this up, but I like to think that I might. I heard the shower in my room going, I knew Bryson was up. I also knew he would be going back to his girlfriend, and I was okay with that. I'm sure we would see each other all the time, and we would always have this memory, maybe he would invite me to HIS wedding. I had to admit I had never felt more feminine in my life, wearing a dress is nothing compared to having a secret little tryst with a man. I knew Angie was going to love it when I tell her how it felt. I couldn't wait to tease her.

I was wearing my sexy denim dress, it was tight and it showed a fair amount of cleavage. "Good morning." He was naked, just a towel around his shoulders. Did he think I would be up for another romp in the bed, I didn't want to assume. "Do you have a robe I can borrow?"

I smiled and gave him one, of course, it was too small, he was a man, but he put it on anyway. It was a nice morning, he started to ask me all types of crazy questions. I felt like I was with Lilly.

I only answered one.

"I did feel like a woman after you made love to me, thank you." I kissed him and sent him on his way with the muffins. He was at the bottom of my steps, I called to him, "Don't forget to wave to me when I am behind you. Make your music louder, we can listen to it together."

He stopped and looked at me, he ran back up the steps, he took my hands. "I think I'm just going to sit in your car with you. Why should we be by ourselves?" And he kissed me, in front of the whole neighborhood. I was so glad we were together last night. It was going to be nice hanging out in a car, ha.

I waved to him once again from the top of my steps. "Bye Bryson." It was nice, I was still so sore.

"Bye Giselle, I'll see you in my mirror."

***

I'm guessing Bryson went to visit Trevor and Angie before he got into his car. I got a call thanking me for the muffins.

"Well?" Angie enquired,

"I got them in the coffee shop I can see from my steps."

"Not the muffins, Bryson."

I giggled, "It was nice. Can you do my makeup before I go to the Flores?"

"I can but I'm going to need a little more gossip."

"It will have to wait, I want to tell you and your future husband in person."

***

Lilly called and said Benjamin was having a Limo pick her up, she would come and get me around one PM.

"Can you meet Angie today?"

"Really? I always felt you didn't want us to meet for some reason."

"That's because your boyfriend was a jerk, he didn't know what he was doing, I can't believe we let him hang around as long as he did." I was feeling a little too confident, this was how I felt last Saturday. It made me a little nervous.

"Ha, listen to you. I didn't realize you were so sassy. Haha."

***

I knocked on the door, I was holding six different dresses, and a shopping bag full of accessories. I didn't know what to wear to an Argentinian BBQ.

The door opened. "Well, look at this," Angie had her hands on her hips, "Trevor! Someone is here for you." She walked away and I followed. I dropped everything in a heap on the floor.

Trevor hugged me. "Angie is mad you didn't tell her about your night of passionate romance."

"What? All we did was play UNO? I won."

"Ha," Trevor let me go and started to laugh, "Well then Bryson met someone on the way back from your place. Haha."

I grabbed Angie from the back and hugged her. "Angie, it was so, so incredible, it was a perfect night. Thank you, that is the best thing you have ever gotten me. Except maybe this hair."

She turned around, she had tears in her eyes, "Your hair still looks amazing, why did we wait so long I will never know." We hugged again. She looked at me again and took the hair out of my eyes, "Did it hurt?"

"It did."

"GOOD!"

***

End of part 4

***

Life Seems to Suck Sometimes (The End)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hmmm... the last chapter where we laugh, we cry, we go out for drinks and we enjoy each other's company... ha... of course, what else would we be doing... Thank you my lovelies for sticking around and I hope YOU like it... and remember 'ef everybody else... ha...

***

Part 5 of 5

I told them everything, while Angie picked me out one of the outfits. Trevor thought I should wear jeans but Angie wanted me in a long dress. "No flowers this time just long vertical stripes. That's your style." It had pink, white and cyan ones. I had on nude pantyhose and white platform sandals. The dress had little spaghetti straps and I wore a strapless white bra with matching panties. Angie gave me a necklace from her collection and did my makeup.

"You just need a little color, you are glowing today." She added pink to my lips and eyes. My long nails matched this dress better than the one I had on yesterday. She gave me a touch of mascara and a slight brush of blush to my cheeks and forehead. Some setting spray and we were done.

"Lilly is going to pick me up here with a limo," I told them.

"Really? Do I finally get to meet her? I was jealous Trevor met her first."

"I realized I was just being silly, I should have had you meet her a year ago. I was afraid something would slip out, something I didn't want her to know."

Angie was fixing my hair with a curling iron, "We could have been hanging out this whole time."

"Well Lilly isn't a 'hanger outer,' so I can't really just blame myself." We heard a car horn.

***

We were in Angie's living room, Lilly was wearing jeans and heels, maybe Trevor was right.

"You look so nice," I told her.

"Yeah, but look at you two. You three. You three are gorgeous." She smiled and investigated my hair. "Is this all you?

"Doesn't she look incredible?" Angie cut in. "No more wigs, this is all Giselle."

Lilly looked at me, it was a weird look. "Maybe we better go, it's getting late."

I grabbed my bags and we said goodbye and slipped into the back of the limo. I had never been a passenger so much in my life. It was nice having someone else in control, I mean drive me around.

The Flores house was close to the convention center we were at last week, so we had close to an hour ride. I showed Lilly what I bought for the children and she laughed. "No one will love crayons as much as you."

"Me?"

"You always have them on your tables, but I've never seen you use them."

I usually colored my books at my vanity, I loved to watch myself in the mirror, my tongue sticking out of the side of my mouth, I think it was part of my Autogynephilia. Catching a glimpse of my breasts or earrings. It was comforting, I used to color so much as a child, I grew up loving bright wonderful tones and hues. Looking at the dress I had on confirmed it.

We passed by the convention center, I noticed a lone white car in the parking lot. Lilly watched me as I turned around to get a better look. "Last Saturday was so nice. I'm glad you had fun."

I smiled at her, "I did. Um, where did you go at the end of the night, I was looking all over for you."

She moved slightly away from me, her back more against the door. She shrugged her shoulders, "I came back, I saw you talking to a man at the bar, I didn't want to bother you."

"Oh, I didn't know." I looked at her, I felt disappointed in myself. "He was very nice, I wish you met him."

"Well, I went out with two guys from work, we went to the Windjammer." She looked disappointed in herself. "I got a little drunk. But the two of them were so much worse." She looked at her watch. "Um, it's after two we are going to be a little late."

"No worries."

"Um, those two guys... well Jim, he is the one who gave me that crazy strap-on thing. It was his idea, he told me his boyfriend loves it. He had it in his car, I still can't believe I took it. I brought it back to his house and I left it dangling on his doorknob."

She looked at me and I started to laugh. "That's crazy, you left it out for his neighbors to see?"

"I did. Was that wrong?" She rubbed her eyes, "He called me the next day and asked how it went. I told him it didn't go too well."

"Well, it's a story we can retell, we can get a couple of miles out of it, ha."

***

I didn't know why, but I was nervous as we walked to the backyard of the Flores house, the property was huge. We heard Bossanova music as we made our way to the ornate gate. My hands were full, Lilly opened it.

"Ah, here you are," Mrs. Flores, Delfina came up to us, she took one of my bags and gave us hugs. "Beautiful women to brighten my garden," She said in her light Spanish accent. "Ben!"

Benjamin walked out with the two children in his hands. "Welcome, come in, come in, the children are so happy to see you."

Alma and Bruno ran up to me and they both hugged my hips, I felt the other three watch as I bent down. "I have missed both of you, can I have another hug? I want to be even happier." And they did, Alma around my shoulders and Bruno around my neck. I was surprised I had this effect on children, adults were usually pretty nonchalant to my presence. "I have something for you two, let's go someplace quiet and leave the adults to themselves."

The other three laughed and I followed the children into the yard. It was nice it was only us and someone at the barbeque pit. "That's Jay, he's doing the cooking today," Ben told us and we waved.

The children led me away from the adults and we sat at a picnic table. I saw Lilly taking out all the bottles I brought, and show them to Benjamin. He studied each bottle and jar, I smiled at him as he waved to me.

The two children showed me the games they had next to us, they seemed quite happy that someone was visiting them. I took out the crayons and coloring books. "I was wondering if we could color together." They both had smiles on their faces.

Alma laughed, "Bruno loves to color, he has pictures up all over his room."

I looked up at the little boy, with thick brown hair and brown eyes. He looked more like his mother than his father, they both did. I tousled his hair. "Let's make more pictures, then I want to see both of your rooms. I want to see where you have fun."

He smiled at me "Okay."

I had six books and we each took one, and one of the boxes of crayons each. They both picked one with animals, but of course, I took the one with princesses. Of course, Lilly would look at this and think how typical of me. How stereotypical, someone who wore dresses would want to color more dresses. I always found a dress that was similar to what I had on and colored it to match. I had been doing this since I was young. I had coloring books in my closet completely filled with past outfits. When I was young I had so few, my books would be filled with black and red dresses to reflect it. I only had to buy a box of six crayons. As I grew up, and my wardrobe grew, so did my color palette. I was proud now to show off my new books with all the colors of the rainbow, maybe I was finally ready to become a woman. My closet has finally caught up to my box of crayons. My sixty-four box of crayons.

"How are the children doing?"

I looked up, it was Benjamin. I smiled. "We are doing fine, thank you."

He smiled and sat next to me, he handed me a drink. "This is what we used to drink in Argentina, it's just Fernet and Coke. Have you ever had that before? I just smiled, I had everything before.

"Thank you," and we clinked glasses, the children clinked with their juice boxes.

***

It was a wonderful day, I investigated the children's rooms with them and their mom, Delfina. They hung up my pictures on their walls and they gave me some of theirs to take home. I was in Bruno's room, it was so big, it was so colorful. I watched him tape my picture to his busy wall. It was a princess in a striped dress, all white, pink, and cyan. I sat on the bed, I was getting emotional. I started to cry as I watched the two children.

Delfina put her arms around me as she sat. "Are you okay?"

I turned to look at her, she was a perfect specimen of a human being. She was beautiful, she had a wonderful husband and two perfect children. I was so happy for her. I started to cry a little more, as she hugged me tighter.

I felt Bruno's hand on my leg, "Don't be sad Giselle."

I looked at him, my eyes were so watery. His room was nothing but a blur. I picked him up and put him on my lap. He leaned against me as Delfina put her head on my shoulder. "I'm not sad, I'm quite happy. I'm sorry I can't get my emotions correct today." They laughed and hugged me tighter.

We heard someone call us. Bruno looked at me and patted my cheek, "That's my brother. He can't wait to see you."

***
I went into the bathroom to check my makeup, and to compose myself. I was having a wonderful time even though I couldn't stop crying. Now I was going to meet another brother.

I clicked down the stairs and then out to the yard. Ben and Lilly were talking to a man. When I opened the screen door the three of them looked at me. The three of them had smiles on their faces. The man broke away from the others and walked over to me as I made my way towards them.

"Marcelo?"

"Very good, you remember me?" He laughed and hugged me. "You are even more beautiful in daylight." I was a little stunned, and I could feel Lilly's eyes on me. I wonder if she realized this was the man I was at the bar with last week. I wonder if she had any idea I had done nothing but think about him since we split.

"Are you the brother?"

"Ha, I am. Is that okay?"

I smiled at him, the day seemed surreal to me. "It is, I so love Alma and Bruno, no one has ever been nicer to me... ever."

"Ever? Then you are not hanging around with the right people." He laughed and I heard his slight Spanish accent. I suddenly felt very at home. He took my hand and we sat at the long family table, all of us. We had our Fernet and Coke's and we were served salad and rice and lots of meat. We talked, we laughed, and Marcelo and I even went and played games with the children. I felt my Spanish accent get a little thicker while I talked to him. He smiled whenever I said anything slightly funny.

We were drinking coffee, the three boys were having a catch with one of the footballs. We sat and watched. Lilly was playing with my hair. "You know, before we met, your mother used to tell my mother that you needed more friends."

I turned around to look at her. "Really?"

"She told me, once the Sosa girls moved away you were always by yourself. See I knew of them before you told me. Personally, I think your mother just wanted you out of the house, haha."

"I'm sure Giselle has plenty of friends now," Delfina said, after refilling up our mugs.

"Well," Lilly put her head on my shoulder, "she has me, that's really all she needs but it's nice to have a little backup." She looked up at Delfina.

"Ha, I want to be the backup then."

Marcelo came back and sat next to me, he held my hand. "What am I missing, you three are so quiet."

"Nothing," I told him, "We are just being silly, These two think I need more friends."

"They do? Well then sign me up."

***

I was watching Lilly talking to her boss and his wife, she was so comfortable. She was at home wherever she went. I wish I was more like her. She would never start to cry watching children. She was always in control.

Lilly was going to take the limo home, but Marcelo wanted to drive me. I wanted him to take us both but Lilly said she didn't want to be the third wheel. She was surprisingly okay with everything today. I took her back outside I wanted to ask her something.

"Lilly, remember when you told me that you owed me a huge favor?"

"Of course."

"Well, I want to collect."

She laughed, "Do you? Right now?"

I smiled, "Can you do me a favor and let me be a jerk for a little while longer and you can be understanding and nice about everything, forever?" Just then the screen door opened and the two little ones ran out. They gave us hugs goodbye.

I caught Lilly's eyes, "Okay. If that's how you want to waste your favor." She laughed and we said goodbye to everyone else.

***

We were in Marchelo's car, it was nice and big, he had R&B on the stereo. My head was back against the seat and I had my eyes closed, it had been another perfect day. I opened my eyes and I watched him drive, he was so quiet. I started to lift my dress, I watched him as I crossed my legs and brought the hem over my knees. I looked down, I wanted to see my heels, I wanted to rub my stockings. I was doing this for me, but I knew Marcelo would enjoy it too. I was out all day in this marvelous dress, my nails still looked amazing after the two days. I watched as they tickled my nyloned thighs. I had fantastic legs, it was one of the things I was most proud of, now I was proud I had more friends than legs.

"Giselle?"

"Mmm?"

"There was a time in my life when I thought I would never see you again. Last week, I got so busy, I went back to find you and you were gone. The bartender told me you were waiting for me. I felt terrible."

"I was quite sad you disappeared."

"Well I told my father I met the most beautiful, interesting woman and we looked through the pictures from the event. I was a little surprised to see a picture with little Bruno's arms around you. I feel like he found you for me."

I turned my head at him and smiled. "You have a wonderful little brother, I am guessing that you have a wonderful life." I looked back out the window, my hands still on my thighs, it was dark out but the coast still had some light. By coincidence, we passed by the convention center again.

"Marcelo, wait!" I yelled he pulled over.

"What's the matter?"

"I have a crazy idea." First I made him kiss me and rub my thighs, and then I made him turn the car around.

***

We were in the white Porsche. The keys jingling in the ignition. I couldn't believe the car was still here all alone, all week. I saw the note I put under the windshield wiper of Marcelo's car, it was flapping in the slight breeze. It was a picture that Alma colored, she didn't like it, but I folded it up and put it into my purse anyway. I was glad it came in handy.

"Should we put the top down?" Marcelo was looking for a switch, a button almost anything.

"Of course."

"Let's try this." There was a whirring sound and the top started to collapse. The ocean air completely enveloped us. "Who's car is this?" He asked me again, but I didn't know.

"Someone staying close to here, he has a thing for cars," I told him, he laughed and we took off. It was a nice comfortable ride, the man from the event had every reason to be proud of it.

We were heading away from my townhouse, we were now on the highway. My hair was blowing in the full breeze. Thank god it was my own, I would be holding tight if it wasn't. Once again I lifted my dress, I wanted to feel the wind on my nylon encased legs. I pushed the hem up to my panties. I put my knees together, I wanted to feel the breeze consume me. I wanted to feel like a woman.

"Marcelo?"

"Yes?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I wasn't a complete woman?" I asked him, my accent as thick as it ever was, the radio was loud and the wind was rustling through our bodies. I looked straight ahead.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I'm either transgender or gender fluid, or maybe just trans, I don't really know. But I know exactly what I'm not."

"I think I will believe you if that is what you are asking." He said in the most delicious accent I had ever heard. "My father told me, Lilly had told him something about you. She is very proud of you, you know. She told my father you were very brave."

"Did she?"

"She told my father, she wanted you to be happy but she was a little worried." He shrugged his shoulders.

I turned and looked at him again, "Really? Everything sounds so complicated, maybe, for now, we can just make the music louder?"

"Of course."

We sped by several cars on the turnpike, the music was blasting. I realized I had to find the owner of this car. I hoped I didn't have the only set of keys. I started to laugh. I waved to the people in the slower cars.

"Marcelo?"

"Yes?"

"Stay with me tonight."

"Ha, ha, okay. If that will make you happy."

"But let's first find a quiet spot, let's luxuriate in this wonderful car."

***

We were back on the way towards home, it was cooler and the top was still down. We pulled over into a park with a lake, I wanted a view.

Marcelo put up the top of the car. We went into the back seat. I moved closer to him and pulled up the hem of my dress again, I wish I had on something shorter. His hand took hold of my thigh and I moved closer to him, my head on his arm. I was tired but excited, I was with a man, a man that I had been thinking about all week. I was in the back seat of a car. How many backseats have I been in the last couple of weeks?

I moved my legs up and then under me and now put my head on his shoulder. His arm went around me. "Do you really want me to stay at your house tonight?" He asked.

"If you want, I have an extra bedroom." I looked at him and he kissed me.

"Thank you. Thank you for not being cross with me for leaving you at the bar last week." I moved into him even more, I put my other hand around his shoulder.

"Are you supposed to stay at your father's house tonight?"

"Mmm."

"Will they be worried? Should you not stay?"

"My father would never talk to me if I left you again, heh."

"Call and tell them, I don't want them worried." I turned his head to me and we kissed. His arms went around my body, it was wonderful. Three days, three different men. Marcelo was different, he was the one I had been dreaming about the most.

***

The back of the Porsche was so big and wide compared to the other cars I was used to. He leaned into me and we kissed. My eyes were closed I was enjoying this. I felt my long nails start to investigate his shirt, and I started to unbutton. I rubbed his hard chest and tickled him with my nails. I made my way down to his pants.

"Vamos ver você se exibindo." I said in my imperfect Potuguese.

"Show off?" He kissed the top of my head as he laughed. "Okay." He maneuvered back a little and I unzipped his fly. He was quite hard, his cock was aiming down to his thigh. I had to take his briefs and pants down to get his cock to appear, he was so big. I kissed him once again as I took hold of it. I knew I was going to enjoy this.

I used both of my hands on his manhood as he kissed me, he started to kiss and lick my neck. I pulled back, I took my hands from his cock and pulled up the hem of my dress again, bunching it up above my waist. My legs were perfect and creamy in beige nylon. I pulled back a little more to show off. I brought one of my legs over him and his hand went down to caress it.

"I love your legs," He told me, "I can't wait to see you in something shorter." He then put both hands on my thighs and lifted my legs onto him, his cock came in contact with the nylon. I let him rub and play with me as his cock throbbed. I had my hands around his neck he was making me over-excited. "Giselle, you have a beautiful body, I can't wait until I get to explore all of you."

"Mmm," I moaned as his hands were all over me, I was practically on his lap. "Would you like me to suck your cock," I whispered seductively into his ear. "I want to take you into my mouth."

"He laughed, "You talking like that is going to make me cum," I started to kiss down to his chest. "And you smell amazing, you smell like flowers."

I wanted to look at him, I wanted to see the man that was so nice to me. "Marcelo, I am going to make you very happy. Your cock is going to make me even more." I moved down his body and took his hard manhood into my mouth. I smiled up at him as I licked the sides. I had one hand gripping him and the other rubbing his leg. I felt the hair around my face, I let it slowly move around me as his cock made its way into my hands and mouth.

"Ahhh," He let out a big sigh as I went completely down on him, his hands were playing in my hair. I went up and down on his hard cock only slowing down to try to take him all the way inside me. I felt him go down my throat. His large cock was inside me, I had my lips pressing against the hair on his crotch. I moved up slowly letting him feel the air again. Each time I did this his body started to buck. I knew he was going to cum, but I wanted us to cum at the same time.

He slid out of my mouth and I smiled. "Baby, I want to cum with you." I reached into my panties and untucked, I was too excited. I started to rub as I licked his cock and he watched. His hands were still in my hair, then my cheek, he couldn't take his eyes off of me.

"Oh, my god, Giselle, I'm gonna cum, ahh." I put my pink lips against his hardness and started to rub, him and me. I pushed his cock against my cheek, my lips sliding on the entire length of his manhood. He started to spurt and I gobbled him up, I felt him cum in my mouth. I started to orgasm myself as I rubbed. I couldn't believe we did it and my bottom was still moving like crazy.

I looked up at him as the little bit of his cum was dripping out of my lips and down the length of his cock. I licked and swallowed it all as he watched. I pulled off and took a deep breath. "Woo," I rubbed myself in my panties a little more and then moved up and leaned on his chest. I was so tired, but I felt so good, laying in Marcelo's arms.

I closed my eyes and then heard a screech. We both inched up, there were two cars behind us. I fixed my dress as Marcelo tried to fix his pants. There were four policemen outside surrounding the car. One was holding a gun.

"Can you vacate the vehicle and put your hands up!" I looked up at the cops and we slowly got out of the back door. The one with the gun pointed us to a park bench and made us sit down, Marcelo's pants were still undone. Two of the policeman started going through the car.

Another one was on the phone. "Maybe twenty minutes." He told the others.

Another one asked for ID, one of the Policemen had to get my bag from the car. We handed him our licenses and then they handcuffed us together. I saw the cops study my ID. I was more confused than nervous. I have been in handcuffs before.

The cop stood before us, we were trying to zip up Marchelos pants. "Miss, who's ID is this?"

I looked up at him, "It's mine officer," I said in my slight Spanish accent. He looked again and then shook his head. He then went and shared the information with the others. They all glanced over. It's crazy but I wasn't that embarrassed. I was thinking about what Lilly said about me. If it was a couple of weeks ago and if I was by myself I would have been mortified. Being with Marcelo, it didn't seem that big of a deal. I had been arrested before.

They asked us a bunch of questions and I told them where I got the keys. I could tell Marcelo was pretty amused by my story. I told the cops I left a note on the other car in the convention centers parking lot, explaining that we took the car and we would be back with it. They didn't seem to care.

The cop gave us back our ID and then looked at me a little disapproving. "Miss, are you a guy in a dress?"

I had to bring up my neck and move the hair out of my face to look him in the eyes. "No. And you should never ask that question to anyone." I just looked, challenging him for a follow-up. He shrugged and moved away.

I grabbed Marcelo's hand, it felt crazy in handcuffs. "I'm sorry about this."

"That's okay. It's just a misunderstanding."

I smiled, he wasn't angry at me. I kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you. You know Life Seems to Suck Sometimes?"

"Heh heh, does it?"

"Mmm," I put my head on his shoulders and waited, I was more worried about what his parents were going to think of me.

Ten minutes later another Police car showed up and the man from last week's event walked out of it. He looked in the car and saw us through the windows on the other side, we had the lake to our backs and a bright lampost above us. He had quite a smile on his face as he made his way around. He stood in front of us and he smiled at me. He turned to one of the policemen, "It's okay. I gave her my keys."

He took my hand with the handcuff, "Giselle it's nice to see you again." Marcelo's hand was held up next to ours.

"Funny meeting you here," I told him, and he laughed and so did Marcelo.

The police undid our cuffs and they left. We stood and stretched. I took the man's hand, "I'm sorry. I'm also sorry it's so late, I hope we didn't wake you."

He walked into the car. "That's okay. I did give you the keys, I just figured you would have called me and I would have driven. ha. Do you need a ride?"

***

Soon we were back at the convention centers parking lot, I took the note off of Marcelo's car and handed it to the man. He turned it over, looking at the picture, and then read my little note, and laughed. "I have been calling you all week, they keep telling me you haven't come in yet. I don't even know what that means."

I smiled and took a pen out of my bag, I wrote my real phone number on the colored page. I knew a woman who would be perfect for him and told him.

"My name is Jim." He shook Marcelo's hand, I kissed him goodbye and he got ready to leave.

I leaned into his passenger window, "Jim, Thank you again, today was fun. I will definitely call you to make plans." I waved and he was gone. I put my arms around Marcelo. "I hope you are not going to tell your family how much of a bad girl I am."

"Ha, ha, you know if I tell my father, he will fall in love with you even more."

***

It was after one AM when we pulled up in front of the townhouse, the spot in front was empty and he pulled in. We were exhausted. We both took showers and changed.

I'm sure we were planning on sleeping but I put on a short maroon nightie anyway. I also put on different breast forms and they looked perfect bulging out of the cups. I had on a tiny pair of matching panties and sprawled out on the bed. I heard Marcelo finish in the next room. He knocked, he was wearing his briefs.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight here, or do you want to sleep alone, all alone in the other bedroom?"

He moved down next to me, he went right for my breasts and kissed them, then he kissed my lips. "I guess I will go next door." And he got up, my mouth was hanging open. He was walking to the door.

He jumped back into bed and held my cheek in his hand, "Like I would be able to leave the smile of a bad girl." He chuckled then kissed me, his tongue played inside of my mouth. He was making me happy.

We got under the covers, and he held me as I draped my arm over his chest and put my head on his shoulders. I moved up and kissed him goodnight.

"Goodnight Giselle."

***

I woke up early, I took a shower, I made myself beautiful.

I made coffee, I knew there was no way I could keep this up. I still had on my little nightie when Marcelo left the bedroom. Sometime in the middle of the night, I gave him a handjob. We made out and I played with his cock. We were both exhausted but I didn't want to waste my time with a handsome man. I rubbed his cock as it stood straight up. It didn't take long, soon I was rubbing the cum all over his stomach. I moved up and licked him completely clean.

I kissed him lightly on the lips, "Goodnight again, I love that you smell like toothpaste and deodorant." I had the most wonderful dreams after that.

He still smelled incredible and sexy when he walked up to me in his briefs. I hugged him and we drank coffee. "Can we go out for breakfast? I want you to see my wonderful town."

"Sure," He smiled, "Whatever you want. I will do anything you ask me to."

***

He got dressed and I got changed. I put on red shorts and a tight red top. I had on nude pantyhose and my tennis shoes. My hair still looked amazing and I brushed it over my left shoulder. I had red lips and red nails and a slight copper color over my eyes. I took a picture and sent it to Angie.

She called me "Who is this woman in shorts?"

"Ha, I think that might be me. We are going to the little coffee shop in town for breakfast, can you come?"

"We?"

"Yes, I want you to meet someone."

***

I asked for Maria at the coffee shop and gave her flowers. I thanked her for working so early. She showed us to my favorite table in front. I felt hands on my back and I got a kiss from Angie and Trevor. It was nice, I introduced them all and everyone seemed to be having fun. I could tell they both approved of my new man. I should have been doing this the whole time that I knew Angie, we should of always double-dated.

We kissed goodbye and made plans to meet for a late lunch at Lola Bistro. I was going to ask for a table of six.

***

Once home I made a couple of calls and then went to join Marcelo on my couch.

"I am off for the next twenty-eight days."

"You are, congratulations." He kissed me and I lay next to him.

"I am going to color, clean, paint, and redecorate and then buy brand new liquor for my cabinet. And you can come here whenever you want, you can even bring the family."

"Okay, I'm going to put that on my calendar."

"Are you always this cheeky?" I asked him, I felt something push against me. "And always this hard?"

***

We had reservations for three PM. Everyone was going to meet us there. I still had on my red short set, with the racing strip down the right side. I felt cute, Marcelo told me red was his favorite color, green was his second.

I let him make love to me while we stood looking out my front window. He eased down my shorts and pantyhose. With just a little lube he entered me. I had my hands with my long red nails holding onto the window sill. He eased in slowly and soon his body was caressing mine. He was completely inside me, it was a wonderful feeling being full of a man.

He moved through my long hair and kissed my neck and cheek, as I looked out on Sunday afternoon. I didn't call my Mother, I might not call her all month. I was daydreaming wondering if her new husband would ever remember my new name, Giselle is pretty hard to forget. I suddenly didn't care, Marcelo's hand went to my tucked-in 'pussy.' I felt his fingers explore me as he pushed his cock in me. His lips still kissing my ear and neck. I rotated my bottom as he pushed in more, he was in so deep and pushing once again so hard. I loved that I had this effect on him. I started to cum in his hands and I felt him shoot his cum into my bottom. We smushed together, I was feeling his juices move inside me. I smiled to myself thinking Sunday outside this window never looked better.

***

I had one stop to make before we went to visit Clair at the bistro.

I loved it here, it was small and quaint and the food was fantastic. It was one of the few places that Lilly genuinely loved. I was going to miss her today.

The three of us walked in and I kissed Claire on the cheek and then introduced her to Marcelo. I even introduced her to the kid who brought the two cases of wine on a hand truck. Clair's was a BYOB and I wanted everyone in her restaurant to celebrate with us. I brought a case of Argentinian Malbec from Salta, the Flores hometown, and a case of Chardonnay from Goiânia, Brazil. Goiânia was where the Sosa's were living and were born.

I said thank you to the boy with the hand truck and Clair showed us to her favorite table.

She took my hand and whispered to me, "This is the first time I have seen you with a man. Is he someone special?" I smiled and raised my perfect eyebrows. "Very good,"

Soon, Angie and Trevor were walking in, Rachael and Jim were behind them. I introduced everyone and we sat down, opening a bunch of the wine bottles.

"Giselle, I have these for you." Clair handed me a large orange envelope with my name on it. I opened it and looked inside. I decided to just dump everything onto the table. Everyone watched.

"What is this?" I held up one of the pieces of paper.

"Why that is your messages, you have been getting calls all week. Someone named Jim had been calling every couple of hours." I looked towards Jim and Rachael and we laughed.

Rachael grabbed my wrist, "I better check on my old childhood home in Newark."

I laughed, "You better, I'm sure there are ten times as many as these."

***

We all said goodbye, Rachael and Tom were going to go out to a movie, and it made me very happy. I couldn't wait to see everyone again. The only one who was missing was Lilly. We walked back to my townhouse and I called her. I asked if she would come over tomorrow night. I hung up, a huge smile creeping across my face.

Marcelo was holding my hand, we were standing in front of the townhouse, "You look very happy."

"I am, I think my life just clicked. I heard it, it went right into the slot. I have been trying to force it in for years. I hang up with Lilly and bam, right in. Thank you." I kissed him. He was one of the extra pieces I needed. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I was in red and he seemed okay with it.

***

Today surprisingly enough was Lilly and my anniversary. My mother introduced us exactly a year ago. I had been buying her presents for the last couple of months, but I took back nearly everything and bought her new ones today at the Mall. Funny, but I didn't even glance over at those far-away parking lots.

I don't know why but when I got back I was in this crazy mood, I was dancing in my kitchen, drinking Brazilian coffee. I decided to call the sisters. We had to do a conference call they were working.

"Hi, I miss you two, send me a picture so I can see what you are wearing." Each of them did. I then took a picture of myself. I was in white, no flowers, no colors. I bought this today at a store I have never been into before. I went shopping on my own. The salesgirl let me wear it out the door. It was long, white, and sleeveless, it was quite transparent from my knees down. It had a little ruffle covering my breasts and a little bit of my upper arm. I had bought three-inch white sandals and Angie had her girls paint my nails white with little red dots. They even blew out my hair, it flowed so nice around my face and shoulders. They even pierced my ears again, I had big gold hoops and little gold dots, they looked very sexy hiding behind my hair. I had on soft copper eyeshadow and lipstick. Angie gave me a tube to put in my little white bag.

When I showed the sisters my outfit they told me I looked so different.

"I feel different, would you believe I have a boyfriend?" I told them and then sent them more pictures.

"You look so nice together. You are getting more beautiful every day." Juliana told me.

"One day I will be almost as beautiful as you two, haha."

"As beautiful as your half-sisters?" Márcia said. "You know what we realized talking to Mamãe, if you are theoretically Claude and Mamãe's daughter that makes you our half-sister."

"Does it?"

"Of course," Juliana laughed. "So from now on, we want you to call us 'my sisters' not 'the sisters' okay Giselle?"

"Really? Okay, thank you."

"We miss you, call us later with Lilly, let's see what she thinks of her presents, Haha, bye meu amor."

I had to stop and take a breath, I loved them so much, they made me feel wonderful. I felt like talking to them was a dream.

I called Angie and bothered her at the shop, I was a little overexcited, I was crying. I told her what 'my sisters' told me. She told me she was now crying and she would call me back. I couldn't wait to tell Lilly. I think this is what it's like to be happy.

***

"This is rum and coke?"

"Mm mm."

"That's it?"

"Well, there is lime in it too."

"Do you feel okay, let me touch your forehead?"

Lilly was making fun of me because I went so basic with drinks tonight. "Okay, then cheers. Is it really a year?"

"It is, it's also the last time you ate over at my mother's house. Let's not talk about that, I want to tell you what my sisters said." And I told her, and we hugged, and she checked my temperature anyway.

"Okay let's open presents."

"Presents?" She looked at me a little weirdly.

"Yes, here you go." I handed her a pile of wrapped gifts. She opened them all and said she loved everything. I even gave her, her own coloring book and 64 pack of crayons. The last thing she opened was a dress, a white one, exactly like the one I was wearing.

She looked at me. "You know I don't wear dresses like this, I always look fat."

"Lilly, it's time you became a woman, it's time you start dressing like me." I giggled. Lilly was perfect she didn't need to become anything else but Lilly.

"Ha," She laughed and shook her head. So she put it on, she went into the bedroom and came out looking beautiful. Even her tennis shoes looked perfect with it. "Wait, is there something different in that room?" She got up to investigate. "What the fuck, how did I miss that. It's beautiful. There's curtains, mirrors, a dresser too?"

She came out with her mouth open.

"I was thinking if you want, you could move in, the place is big enough for the both of us. Your Aunt is so much better now, she'll be fine on her own."

Lilly was pretty quiet, her mouth was still open. She ran home and packed a couple of bags, when she came back we had another rum and coke, and ate some things out of a box. The table was a mess.

"When are we going to start fighting over the parking spot in front?"

"What parking spot?" I asked looking out the window.

"Giselle, what are you talking about, everyone in the complex gets a spot, that one that I'm in now has your house number on it. That's how I know your home."

"I looked at her. "Really? I usually park on Angie's block, I hardly ever get this spot."

"You got to be kiddin' me. All this time I thought you had company? Or I just figured you weren't home."

"I was always home."

"I thought you were popular, haha, well if anyone else from this complex parks there I'm leavin' a note. A big one. I used to drive by waiting for your car to appear. You know that changes everything."

"THAT changes everything?"

***

Sometime in December

I love Saturdays

Both Angie and I were wearing long flowered dresses, I loved when we dressed alike. Mine was white and backless. My breasts looked incredibly large hidden by the fabric upfront, and my hair was so long and wavy. It almost reached my waist. Angie wore blue, her favorite color, it of course matched her phone case. Both of us had nice slits up to our thighs, showing off our legs in silky pantyhose. The men were disappointed we were at a table, our legs were hidden under it, unseen by their eyes. Marcelo had his hands on my thighs, he was whispering in my ear. We had been together now for six months, it was making me feel all warm inside as he slid his hand up and down my leg getting closer to my tiny white panties. I noticed Trevor was doing the same thing to Angie's. We had the best boyfriends.

I saw Mr. Flores watching me, Benjamin. He held up his glass. "Giselle, how do you like your Caipirinha?"

I smiled, "Oh it's wonderful. I have had one before, but this one is definitely my favorite."

He returned my smile. "You have tried everything. I guess I can't introduce you to anything new. I will keep on trying." We clinked glasses. He and his wife just loved me, I could feel it. I loved them as well, and I especially loved their children. I think I went to visit them mainly to see the kids. I loved hanging out inside their rooms, I was the family's babysitter, I usually fell asleep on one of their bedroom floors. They knew that I would do anything for them, or their children, or even their neighbors, though they really didn't ask much of me. Marcelo was so nice to me too, I never expected to be with a man like him, he treated me like the princess I thought I was. He treated me like one of the princesses on our bedroom walls, mine, Angie's, Rachael's, Lilly's, and the children's. Every time I go to visit the kids they make replicas of my outfit, they make me very happy, I have taught them well.

The restaurant was dark and romantic, there was a piano player somewhere nearby. I could hear but not see. We were six, at a table for eight. The rest of the party was making its way over to us. The men let go of our thighs and we all stood up.

"Sorry, we're late." She said.

They weren't late, WE were early. I was excited about going out with everyone, I pushed them out the door when we were at the Flores home. We had a celebration. Lilly was also wearing a long dress, she now wore one all the time.

She was with another of the Flores' friends, Urbain, another Argentinian export. They looked great together, I had to ask later about how long they'd been dating. A conversation for another day. I would have to catch up, she had been sleeping over at his house lately, our townhouse was so quiet without her.

"Okay everyone while you're up, lift your glass." Benjamin, held his up high and we followed. "Lilly, congratulations... To the Employee of the Year. May you have an even better one next year." Everyone laughed. There was no way next year would be better than this.

"I'm going to guess," Lilly looked at me, "That this was just Giselle's excuse to get everyone to go out together. I'm not falling for Employee of the Year."

Benjamin laughed, "Ha, ha you are probably right, but there is a plaque. We didn't skimp." his wife handed it to her and Lilly read.

She shook her head then glanced at all of us at the table. "Okay, thank you, everybody. It seems legit to me, haha, let's drink. Cheers." The glasses went up and we drank. "Mmm, very good," She smiled and finished her entire glass. "This Caipirinha is almost as good as the one's Giselle makes."

"Ha," Benjamin and his wife watched us as we laughed. He looked over at me again. "What can't you make?"

"Well, I still can't make a proper Paloma."

"Well thank god for that," Angie laughed, "We all need something to suck." I could tell the Flores had no idea, but they were having too good of a time to ask.

Lilly asked, "Angie, where are you two going on your honeymoon?"

"We are going to New Orleans. Trevor wants to eat and I want to drink." Angie laughed and Trevor agreed. It was only a couple of weeks until the wedding, I was very excited, I would be wearing another long dress with a high slit.

We were still standing and everyone was talking, you would have thought we haven't seen each other in years, but we were always together.

Benjamin clinked his glass with mine, "Giselle, you are perfect for my son, I am so glad Bruno found you for him. I am so glad Lilly found you for all of us." I was so glad too, I was happy here with my friends, drinking Caipirinha's, drinking anything. Just being out, I held Angie's hand, she had a beautiful engagement ring.

We all finally sat. Dinner was wonderful, we laughed and told stories from our lives. Urbain wanted to know where I was from, he said he loved my accent. I told him Edison, right around the corner from Goiânia, Brazil. He was a little surprised. Just a little.

Marcelo stood up, "I want to make another toast, to everyone at this table. It is so nice that we are all together, and we are all celebrating an award," He lifted his glass to Lilly, "And now we are all going away together. Brazil is going to be incredible this time of year. We are having a wedding and meeting even more friends." He looked at me and smiled. We all stood up again, we all clinked glasses.

I remember, last month I was on Alma's floor in her bedroom, we were coloring. Marcelo and Bruno were at her computer playing a game. Benjamin and his wife walked in on us, "Children, dinner is ready." I smiled, they always treated me like I was one of their kids.

I looked up at them, crayon in my hand, and asked them to sit on the floor with us.

"I've been having this dream," I told them. "That I am in this huge field of Laelias. I am in Brazil surrounded by those lovely pink flowers, and all of you are there with me. Plus Lilly and Angie and Trevor, and I can feel that I don't want to leave, the flowers smell so wonderful. Then my sisters Juliana and Márcia show up, they tell me dinner is ready, Mamãe Sosa is waiting for us, she has been waiting a long time for all of us. They say we have to go now, there is a surprise." I then shrug my shoulders.

"And what's the surprise," Delfina asks.

"I don't know. I always wake up before I can leave the Laelias." I giggled.

Marcelo walked over to me and knelt. "Maybe there is no surprise, maybe they bring dinner to all of us and we eat in the field."

"I would love that, I wish I could stay asleep and find out what happens." I closed my eyes imagining I was still there, with everyone.

The Sosa family owned a Bed and Breakfast. It had thirteen rooms but I didn't tell Benjamin that. I didn't want him to get too anxious. We were taking over four of them, the best four rooms with views, all in a row.

We were going to have Angie and Trevor's wedding, and then Marcelo and I were going to stay a little longer than the others. He was going to play in their lounge. He was bringing his guitar, keyboard, and accordion, they were going to love him in Brazil. Juliana wanted me to update all the computers at the B and B, I could actually do that here in New Jersey but this was a great excuse, I wouldn't even tell her. And then Mamãe and Márcia were going to let me bartend. They had a nice big wrap-around bar on the bottom floor. They told me I could make lots of friends, like I needed more, and I could make all kinds of crazy drinks. The thing was I could only come up with something out of necessity, whatever was hanging around. I might have to check online instead.

Back at the restaurant, we were still standing at the table. Marcelo was giving everyone the itinerary when the waiters brought us over dessert, we stayed for so long. It was Saturday my favorite night, this was now my favorite restaurant. It would always bring back all these great memories.

"Can we have eight more Caipirinha's please?"

***

It was the day before our flight to Brazil, and Marcelo wrote me a song...

'You know we should be ridin' along some highway
With the top down just contemplatin' crimes
What am I tryin' to do
What am tryin' to prove
It's just Life Seems to Suck Some....... Times.......'

Marcelo lightly touched my hair, I looked up at him. "You know, I now understand what the moral of your motto is."

"Mmm"

"It's that life SEEMS to suck, it doesn't actually suck."

"Mmm." I shook my head gingerly, I was busy actually sucking, 'cause life seems to suck sometimes.

***

The End

***

Author's Note: Hmmm... I think this is it. (I think.) This is the story I have been saving for the end, of, well, you know, the end... Don't cry, ha, save it for another story, save your tears for when you really need it, when you want to make a statement, when you want to show the world you are ready for release... and all that... I really do hope YOU liked it.

I know I have a habit of sounding sarcastic and facetious, but I really mean everything I say, everything I have ever said... Thank you, I love you all... Sabrina...

***

Runnin' Away With Me (Part. 2)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's note: Lotsa red, a lil' backstory, oh, and a lil' music... Here's Part 2 of my nice sexy story about a crossdresser who still doesn't know why everything thinks she's a woman. I hope YOU like it...

***

I was in the shower, everyone was out, I was alone in the house. Alone in the house for the first time in years. I had music on my phone and my eyes were closed, the water streaming on my face. I didn't want to wet my hair, it looked so perfect but I had to, I had to immerse myself in the water. I was a little confused. Maybe I was a girl on Halloween years ago when I was seventeen. Well, I was, but maybe I was really a girl, a girl everyone knew. Maybe last Christmas everyone expected me to go into the City all dressed up with Jenny and Mitch, it was so much fun. It was my favorite day ever.

"Ever."

Jenny wanted to see me, it had been so long. We finally made plans for Christmas. After the Rockettes Show, we went to Macy's, I bought a bra, it was beautiful. White lace, expensive, soft. I bought Jenny one too, her Christmas present, we were going to match, Mitch said he couldn't wait until she wore it for him. He had a huge smile on his face. Gorgeous Mitch with his short dark hair, his light beard, his licensed NFL Giants sweatshirt wrapped around his big body with his hood up, he was actually having a better time than me and Jenny. Little dark-haired Jenny in her new red dress, holding hands with me in my new green and white skater dress and red nails. Mitch loved the show, the dancer's legs in stockings and heels, shopping in Times Square. He said he didn't want to go back to North Bergen for a while, he wanted to stay, see the Christmas Tree, FAO Shwartz, people-watch. He said he loved hanging out with two sexy women, he felt so popular, holding hands with two women carrying even sexier lingerie in their little bags. He said Christmas was already here for him.

I remember hugging him and saying thank you for taking me, not leaving me in my boring apartment Upstate, I felt like I was impinging on their time together. I was always the third wheel, whether I was dressed as a starlet or not. Even living far away I was the third wheel on the phone, the three of us complaining about some movie or friend who we didn't see anymore.

"Are you crazy?" He told me, we were in Bryant Park watching the tourists ice skate, we were having fun. I had a paper cup of hot mulled wine warming my hands, my little green gloves. "Sabrina, we love you, Christmas would not be the same without your red hair, your terrible jokes, or your embarrassing observations."

I laughed, "Well thank you, I think." And we laughed, and we watched, and we drank our wine.

We sat on a bench, we were talking to a young couple with three very young children. The wife loved our accents, our dresses. She loved our nails. We had long red nails, with holly leaves on them, it took so long at the salon but I enjoyed myself. I liked that the women, called me Miss, asked if I wanted tea, asked if I had a boyfriend, they said they loved my hair color, they wanted to style it.

The couple were from Omaha, Nebraska, they were in for a family get-together. They missed New York but they were so happy to come back and see their friends, and see the sights. They wanted to move back but Omaha was so open, with so much room, they had such a big house. They used to live in Queens, they thought it was so beautiful this time of the year, just a little crowded, nothing like Omaha. We talked to them for quite a while, looking at the lights. I was playing with their kids, having a catch with a stuffed elf. I shooed away a huge Elmo and Spiderman. Everyone was watching me, I smiled I was having fun. The next morning I would miss this, upstate and by myself again.

"Can we all take a picture?" The wife asked. "I want to remember you three." I stopped an older man and asked him to take a picture of us. We posed. He took about fifteen. I was behind the bench, then I was next to Jenny with our arms around each other, then I had two of the kids on my lap, They had my long hair in their hands. I sent everyone the pictures. I have two people from Nebraska in my contacts. We all do.

We were in the middle of Broadway we were going to eat, someplace different, someplace we would never be able to find again.

"Hey! Turn around quick," Mitch took our picture, Christmas lights above us, heavy traffic, and people behind us. Click, and then we ran, ran to the other side, I ran in five-inch platforms. That picture was now in my Mother's living room, full of fingerprints, people have looked at it, asking who was the redhead with Jenny? 'What? That's Sabrina, she had on a new dress, she had long lashes for the holidays, she looks just like Pam if Pam was older and wore long lashes and had red hair. Ha.'

I heard my phone, I jumped out of the shower, it was Carson.

"Hi, want me to pick you up?" He asked, he had a nice voice. I was liking him a lot already.

"Oh, I don't know what we are doing."

"I miss you, when are you leaving for Phoenix?"

"Um, tomorrow, tomorrow morning." I started to feel sad. Only Jenny and Mitch ever missed me. Carson, I saw just sixty minutes ago. "Okay come and get me."

"In an hour?"

"In an hour and a half, I will be the one with the red, red hair, you can't miss me."

"Ha, I am missing you already."

***

The closet and drawers were empty, everything was packed up for the move. My mother packed everything in boxes and bags for USPS, for the plane. I had a few things in my backpack, nothing I could wear for Carson. I had my perfect blue-flowered bag at Jenny's. It had a couple of things inside it, just a couple. I originally thought I would only wear the contents of that bag hidden in the bathroom and then maybe under my clothes on the plane. Just to feel like me. Just to get prepared for Phoenix.

Ring. "Hi, Jenny, Carson's getting me in like eighty minutes, I need an outfit."

"Wow, you two are a thing already, ha, come on over, wear something of mine, we can get dressed together."

I put on more red lipstick and some light makeup. Just a touch more mascara on my eyes, I brushed my brows with a tiny brush. And then I snuck over, I found my nude platform pumps near Pam's bedroom against the wall. I was in the purple flannel again, and completely naked underneath. I went to the back door. It swung in. "Oh, Sabrina, I'm sorry come in. Jenny! Sabrina's here!"

It was Jenny's mom, I have known her since I was six. Seventeen years ago. I met her the same day I met Jenny, the same day I met Mitch. Did she know my femme name? Did she actually recognize me? I was distracted, I saw a picture up on her fridge of me and Jenny and Mitch at Grand Central Station, I met them for lunch before they caught their train to Boston. We went out for oysters and martinis. It was at the beginning of summer, two summers ago, on their way on vacation. Was that picture always up there, I don't remember seeing it before. I haven't been in this house in a long time. That day I was with them for fifty minutes before the train came, I was dressed so nicely in a mini skirt and boots, I took a bus from school, my first time. I wasn't nervous, I had a book, ear pods, and dark sunglasses. My bag was covering my nylon knees.

I was distracted, even more, Jenny's rabbit made its way around my legs. "Hi, Mr. Visicious." I bent down, I pet him, I scratched his ears with my long nails, then he ran around me again. I pat the top of his head before he sniffed and ran off.

Mrs. Dreyer was getting ready to leave, she had her pocketbook in her hand. She walked closer, she was going to ask why I had long lashes, long nails, why was I a girl all of a sudden, what happened. I moved up, she reached out and took my hair in her fingers. She had to look up at me, my heels were five inches tall. "Sabrina, this color looks incredible on you, I wish I had your hair."

I smiled, Jenny walked in. "Next time I'm going red too."

"Make that three."

*

'But it was just my imagination
Runnin' away with me
Tell you it was just my imagination...'

I loved Jenny's room, it was all purple, it had a row of American Girl dolls on a shelf above her bed, lace curtains, a pile of Cosmo magazines, Sid's cage on a beautiful paisley tablecloth with all of his toys and alfalfa. She had two beds and two huge mirrors, we would kid that there was one for each of us, and, most importantly she had music playing. Our favorite song. We had a playlist of thirty-five different versions of the same song, almost all, so similar, that we tended to drive Mitch crazy while we listened to them all.

'...runnin' away... with me'

And of course, we almost always sang, Jenny in her perfect soprano, me a little gravely, quieter...

We were looking in my blue bag, there was nothing to wear for an outside fair, with dogs and cats and of course rabbits. The skirt and top I had on last night was the only real outfit I had taken with me, it was now in the wash.

"What were you thinking? Where are all your clothes?"

I wasn't thinking, and I didn't remember. "Um, I think they are probably all wrinkled, some are in Phoenix already. I sent them ahead."

"Why wouldn't you bring clothes with you? We still got a day and a half. We still have the trip to the airport. Was the plan to run around naked all weekend with your boobs and heels making Carson happy."

Jenny went to her closet. Full of outfits, beautiful clothes, shoes. I was always jealous of it, jealous of her taste, her presents, her life in this wonderful room. We were almost always two girls in here, for years, hiding from her mother, playing in her closet. Letting me imagine I was her sister, her best girlfriend. She put a white dress on the other bed, a denim jacket, a nude bag to match my heels. "Okay, you're done, my turn." She was going to be in a brown peasant dress and black booties. We were going to look fantastic. "Your hair looks great still, you washed it?"

"I did."

"God, you are so good at styling it now, remember how I always had to fix it for you? Ha."

We stood in front of her mirrors, we undressed, she picked out a few items from my bag, a pair of white panties, my perfect white bra, nude pantyhose, I slipped on the white dress. It came about three inches above my knees, it was short-sleeved with a crew neckline, no cleavage. I put on a white embroidered collar to cover my seams from the breast forms. I slipped on my heels, the denim jacket, and pulled my red hair out of it. It was so long, getting longer, I bent forward and brushed. When I stood back up, in front of her mirror, it cascaded around me. My smile grew.

"Jenny? Is it just my imagination running away with me?"

"Ha, you are such a dork, no your hair looks amazing. No wonder Carson can't wait to see you. He did nothing but put his face in it last night, your ears must be so sore. Ooh, Let's send some more pictures to Gracie, hold your blue bag." We posed, we made faces, we played with our colored hair.

I noticed a bunch of framed pictures hanging on the inside of her closet door. "Last summer? The day you got Sid?"

"Mmm-mmm, of course." I walked closer there were three more, all from the same day. "You told me, surprisingly, that was the best day of your life, then we went to Radio City at Christmas, and then that was your best day. Haha. God, I was so glad."

I was looking, I was thinking, "I remember this, we picked him up at the shelter, he was tiny, we were there last night." I started remembering more from the night before. We went to Jenny's friend's house, to Meg's, where we had our hair and nails done, then we went to visit the animals. "We met Carson there. He is in this picture." I had my finger on his face, next to the two of us with Mitchell and Sid. I was all in white and beige, I had the same outfit on as last night. I was wearing the same pumps.

"Of course we were, that was the plan."

"The plan?"

Jenny shook her head, she pushed the closet doors open wider, she was pointing to another one of the pictures. "Here, we started at Meg's just like last time. I wish we dyed your hair then. Next, we went to the shelter." She pointed to the one I was touching, holding the rabbit. "Then we went to Rumba Cubana on 45th. I think we even ate the same exact meals, well at least the three of us did, haha. And then we went dancing in the back. Look."

"I don't really remember that."

"Well sometime before that, the shots made an appearance."

"Oh? I don't do shots, that's one of my rules." I bent down, I was looking at the other picture of us in Rumba Cubana's backroom, from last summer, we were with so many people. I only recognized two people, someone from grammar school and one of the dancers. The colored lights were on, the place was packed. It must have been packed last night too.

"Well last night you were having fun, you were with Carson, and you were doing shots. Rum. Tonight no shots, remember your rule."

"Wait, I had my nails painted gray last time too?"

"I guess, c'mon let's go he will be here soon." Jenny finished putting on her makeup, she sprayed some perfume. She was looking down on me through her mirror. "Are you going to get up?"

"Mmm," I stood, "Um, you know your mother didn't say anything about me wearing makeup, I was wearing these heels too." I put on some of the perfume I found in the bathroom, I now smelled like her mother again.

Jenny turned around to look at me, her hands on her waist.

I was looking in the mirror, I put in my thick gold hoop earrings and a couple of bangles I found in my blue case. She then handed me her big beige bag. "You don't think it's weird she didn't say anything? Your mother always says something. Why didn't she ask me about being a girl?"

"Sabrina, will you stop, you are starting to freak me out, now c'mon."

I put a couple of things inside the bag. I put on a pair of big dark glasses I found on Jenny's vanity.

"What do you think?"

"Mmm, nice, but Carson is going to want to see your eyes."

"He can take them off of me. Um, speaking of taking things off, you can't believe how great this morning was." I smiled, remembering making love with him, and forgetting about the pictures.

"I heard. We all heard." She then suddenly hugged me, her arms around my neck. I held her around her waist, she was quiet for a couple of minutes, then she looked up at me. "Ugh!" She was crying, "Okay let's go out you can tell Mitch all about him." I closed my eyes and let Jenny pull me outside while wearing her white virgin dress.

***

"Hi girls!"

"Hi," Jenny and I said in unison. Mitch's parents were walking the dog, heading toward town, heading to the fair. I stayed back, I felt embarrassed being in such a feminine outfit. Soon Mitch came out of his house, another Giant's jersey, another hat. He hugged me and then he grabbed Jenny. We waved to the neighbors, I started playing catch with little Trey from down the block, his parents talking to Mitch's parents. I looked over at them all talking, I seemed so far away, then the giant beach ball hit me in the head, it bounced high.

"I got it." Trey ran and then kicked the ball towards me. "Sabrina, kick it high, I want to catch it." I did but it wasn't easy in my pumps.

Jenny laughed as I did a high kick. "Look Sabrina is trying out for the Rockettes again. You will never be flexible enough Red, haha."

Before I went to college, Jenny would take me out dressed up shopping, and visiting. I would get so nervous once we got near the block. I used to sneak through Trey's parent's backyard. I didn't want anyone to see me so fancy in my new outfit walking through the front door. I didn't want to cause a scene. I slipped in the back, it was the corner house, I would walk through the yard and then hop over the fence. Sometimes I was in a flouncy dress, it almost always got stuck, always got caught on something. I ruined so many skirts and blouses.

I would make believe I couldn't move and the fire department would have to come and save me, would have to slip my cotton dress off of me, then the fence. 'Oh thank you, gentlemen,' I would imagine saying to them, 'I don't know what I would have done out here all night almost naked.' I then imagined I took them into my bedroom, following me while wearing only my lingerie, and gave them all something to remember, something they could tell the other firemen at the firehouse. The ones who couldn't be bothered. I would be a legend, a great story to tell around the dinner table.

'Just my imagination
Runnin' away with me'

I would stand by the back of the house, I would listen for my mother, then I would sneak in the back door, take a quick shower, and put on the most exquisite lingerie I had hidden under the bed. I would then get paranoid and look out my bedroom window hoping no one was still up and out watching me. I would slip under the covers, sucking a lollipop and reading one of Jenny's borrowed Cosmos.

"Bye Sabrina!"

"Oh, bye"

Trey ran off with his parents, giving me a high five as he passed. How did he know who I was? He used my name. I was starting to get confused again, then we heard the beeps.

Beep, Beep.

*

'Each day through my window I watch her as she passes by
I say to myself, "You're such a lucky guy"
To have a girl like her is truly a dream come true
Out of all the fellows in the world, she belongs to me'

"Can we make a quick stop at our friend Meg's, I want her to give us a blowout?" Jenny was in the back with Mitch. She was leaning on the front seat between Carson and me. "Sabrina can always use a blowout."

They laughed, and soon Carson was pulling his Chevy into Meg's driveway.

"Do we have time?" I enquired, I didn't want him to be late at the shelter.

"We're fine, we don't have to be there 'til four." Carson held my hand as we walked in.

Meg's house was big and it had a salon on the first floor, it was quite nice looking. There was beautiful Italian tile on the floor. There was a big couch, a TV, and a couple of chairs for those who were waiting, then toward the back, she had three styling chairs. They sat right in front of a huge mirror and a shelf filled with combs and brushes and dryers.

Meg smiled as we walked in. "So, you too are loving your hair, am I right."

"You are SO right, but Sabrina thinks she's imagining everything, like she's in some weird dream with cherry red hair, ha."

I was of course looking in the mirror, Carson was next to me. It was the first time I was relaxed all weekend. I loved coming here. Meg used to paint my toenails when I was younger when I was less of a girl. She thought it was great, she used to tell me I was going to be her best customer. Right now, I was one of her happiest.

"So today!" Jenny was talking loud over the hairdryer, "Is the day we get it right. Meg's, the shelter, Cubana, then we dance, we have more fun and then we say goodnight!"

I just smiled, Jenny had another plan. I would do whatever she wanted, I always wanted to be with them. I had only seen Mitch and Jenny once since last summer. Only at Christmas in the City, since she got the new rabbit. I was a terrible friend sometimes, but I had my reasons, bad ones, but reasons. While I was watching Jenny I was getting sad fast, realizing for the first time I would be so far away from her. Once I was in Phoenix, I would be without the three of them. My heart was starting to break. I felt something in my chest, I was going to cry.

I was shaken out of my disruptive thinking. While Meg was blowing and brushing my perfect red, Carson started putting his fingers through it. "This is all I want to do."

Meg laughed, "What? Make a mess."

"If that's what this is called then, correct."

Carson then kissed me, I watched in the mirror. First, on the side of my head, he had a mouthful of hair, then my ears, and finally my lips. Meg shook her head and hovered the dryer above me. I felt like I have known him for so long. His lips now kissing my face and neck. I felt so comfortable around him, it was making me sad, happy and hard again that I would be saying goodbye to him on Sunday.

***

There were so many kids outside of the shelter. There was a food truck and an ice cream stand, both were busy.

"You two can go over there, and you three can go inside by the office." Carson was getting us ready for the people coming into the fair. We were all surrounding him, he had his arms around me. He was pointing. My mother and sister would be with the cats, Jenny, her mom, and Mitch by the rabbits and small mammals and he and I would be by the dogs.

"How long have you been a vet?" My mother asked him.

"Mmm, let me think, seven years now. This is my favorite shelter though, and there are a lot of them in North Jersey. Plus, this is where I met your daughter." He smiled at me, I was surprised I was part of that answer.

"This is mine too, this is where we found Sid, we should have taken him to visit today." Jenny laughed, and we all went to our respective stations. Others were working already and children were milling about inside the shelter already.

*

The two of us took a few of the kids into the back room to pet and play with some of the dogs. I loved watching children with animals, that was the reason we first came here. Jenny and I were completely surprised when she walked out with a rabbit, she fell in love. So did I.

There were two other people from the shelter there. We said hello and I bent to pet some of the dogs, I remembered coming last night. I remembered petting this same brown and white dog. She rubbed against me, my long nails now tickling her side, her stomach. I have been here three times, I have been here in the same outfit twice. Jenny was weird sometimes, she always wanted to recreate situations, and things, she always wanted to make them better, get them correct. Our graduation from high school, plenty of past Halloweens, even going to see the Marvel movies, me as Pepper Potts, Mitch as Captain America, and Jenny as... Wonder Woman. She would argue with everyone when we got inside. She would have screaming matches in the ladies' room, it made us laugh, she was always Wonder Woman.

We have even play-acted the day she met Mitch so many times, I played the next-door neighbor, Trey's mom. I had to say, 'Finally a little girl on the block, there are too many boys.' That's what she said, I had to use a high Jamaican accent, I was great at it now.

We never recreated the day I met Jenny and Mitch in boy mode, but we always redid the day Mitch met Sabrina. We would be playing Monopoly, me in this pink dress with flowers, little pink flats. Jenny had on a denim dress and sneakers. We were cute, her mother and sister were out shopping. We were drinking cream soda and eating pretzels, we were both eleven years old. Trey's mom was keeping an eye on us, calling every once in a while through the back door. 'Are you two alright?'

'Yes, good, we are playing a game.'

'Okay, tell your mother I played the game with you.'

We laughed, it was nice, I liked being a girl. We had on strawberry perfume. I didn't want to tell Jenny that in my mind I was always a girl, that was the way I was born. 'Girls' like me were born not made, I didn't care what people said or wrote, I came out of the womb a 'girl.'

Mitch walked in holding a football, wearing a Giant's t-shirt, surprising us. He stopped and he watched, he was looking at the board, the play money, he was quiet. Jenny smiled at him "Mitch, do you want some cream soda?"

"Sure."

She got up to get him a bottle, I didn't want to look at him, it was the first time he saw me in a dress, I felt stupid, silly, embarrassed.

"Sabrina, it looks like Jenny is winning, she is always winning, ha."

I looked up at him, he knew my name, "Mmm-mmm."

Jenny walked back in, we played a different game, we played with Mitch, and we heard Trey's mom outside the door. 'Do you have a boy in there?'

"Yes, it's Mitch," Jenny yelled back.

'Okay, cause your mom is coming down the block, tell her I just left.'

"Okay, thanks." I went into Jenny's room and changed. It made me sad, but I was happy Mitch met the real me. And it was, what is the correct word for it? Easy... Holy fuck it was so Easy.

*

End of Part 2 of 4