Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 2

I was in total shock, and nothing was really sinking in. Usually in difficult circumstances for business I turned to George, and we’d talk things through, and we’d find a solution and make a plan. He had gone and I’d only just met Emily and we had no relationship. I detected that she felt I would still be loyal to George whatever she did but in my favour, she seemed to need my help.

Sally had always been loyal to me but right now I didn’t have a position to justify a secretary so either she’d be out of a job or moved to another job in the company. She couldn’t afford to lose her job either with 2 children to raise and her husband in part-time employment. I wanted to find a place where we could meet and talk in confidence so I sent her a message and asked her if we could meet outside the office at a convenient place of her choice. I said I didn’t have a car so somewhere close would be better for me. She responded with several angry emoji’s and suggested a small wine bar close by that was usually quiet at lunchtime.

I had detected some resentment towards me from both Jenny and Melanie, both of whom were ambitious and with better academic qualifications than me even though they lacked business experience. Had one, or both, leaked information about my private life to Emily since I’d bumped into both at a LGBT event? We never spoke and I’d been at the other side of the room so I had thought they’d not to recognised me. They had been with a group of girls I knew quite well who sometimes worked at the club so it was possible it was one of the girls who let my secret out.

Emily took me to the side office that had been the location of George’s secretary/assistant until she went on maternity leave. George had been using Sally to save expense. Did that mean I was meant to sit there replacing his secretary and what of Sally? I wasn’t a secretary, nor anybody’s assistant and I’d reached a high position through hard work.

It came like a shot from a gun. ‘Jules, I want you to move your belongings here and then you are close at hand and you can take all my calls and decide which are important and which you can deal with without me being interrupted. I trust you know how to handle and transfer calls and keep a diary. I may be away from the office quite a bit so I’m relying on you to find me if anything urgent crops up. We’ll sit down every morning I’m here and decide my priorities for the day. I may get you to sit in some meetings and take notes.’

‘But this is Georges secretary’s desk not a General Managers.’

‘Yes, but I need you close at hand, and I’ll handle the duties you had under George and the rest will be undertaken by Jenny and Melanie. I’ve already spoken to them and given them new employment contracts with salary adjustments. Both are on board 100%.’

‘So, you’ve promoted them and I’m demoted?’

‘Look at it that you’ve been moved sideways for now until we reorganise the business and responsibilities. Bear in mind that both are now senior management so please treat them accordingly. You will have to come to terms with them being elevated above you and you are being compensated. I’ve already said your salary package will stay the same.’

‘But what about my car and fuel expenses and other Senior Staff conditions?’

‘The car goes at the end of the month so I suggest you buy or rent a run-around and that shouldn’t be too expensive to run.’

I felt like bursting into tears, but I gritted my teeth, so she didn’t see any weakness.

‘Come on then Jules I have a meeting at 10am and I want you to notify senior staff it will be in the Boardroom. We don’t need the junior staff and administration people and it shouldn’t be a long meeting. Let’s say about 30 people so some can sit, and the rest can stand. You can sit alongside me and note down any questions and answers. Please check the boardroom is arranged properly. I have a couple of calls to make. Oh, and before you go, please make a pot of coffee and bring me some cups and saucers. Keep it fresh through the day and tidy dirty cups away as necessary.’

‘Emily please this is degrading. I’m a senior staff member at Director level.’

‘Jules my style is different to what you were used to under George. We are all in this together and as for the chores you must get used to the change. The days of using female staff for mundane tasks have gone.’

There was no point arguing or my situation would get worse. Emily clearly had a personal agenda, so I decided to stay silent and wait for my opportunity to reclaim my status un the Company. My alternative was to resign but I needed to leave on my terms.

I accompanied Emily to the 10am meeting and we were joined by Jenny and Melanie neither of whom could look me in the eye. Everybody stood up as we entered the room until the four of us were seated. Jenny and Melanie sat either side of Emily and I had a seat a yard or so behind the three of them with a notepad to take notes. All my staff looked at me and I am happy to say they seemed puzzled and sympathetic. They all appeared as shocked as I had been when I’d met with Emily on arrival to the office. Sally made a point of waving and showing her disapproval of the change in my status and was clearly uncertain about her own position.

Emily didn’t pull any punches and she announced that she was taking over from George with immediate effect and that he’d left the company by mutual agreement. I knew that wasn’t the truth but nobody was asking questions at that stage. Then she said that I’d agree to stay on as her personal assistant to ensure a smooth transition and that her target was to change working practices and return the company to profit, Jenny Isaacs and Melanie Baxter had been given non-executive roles by George and had now been promoted to Executives and since they had been groomed to take over for the two current incumbents they would take the positions of James Austin and Harry Whitaker who had been relieved of their duties by telephone and told to stay home until called to the office. Everything was happening at break-neck speed, so no wonder rumours had been scarce.

I couldn’t see the expressions on the faces of Jenny and Melanie, but I found out later from Sally that both had big smirks on their faces. They had let both George and I down by liaising with Emily directly and helping her with her strategy. Neither had enough understanding of our business nor the required experience to take so much responsibility. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Emily announced that the Company would be posting updates, but their priority was to shareholders who would be meeting herself and the Chairman the following day.

Sally spoke up and asked for clarification about her role since I had taken a new position that conflicted with hers. Emily said that she’d be taking the role of assistant to Jennifer and the current Manager of Sales, Charles Cameron would be assistant to Melonie.
. She then announced that Jennifer Issacs had been appointed as Executive Manager of Purchasing and Melanie Baxter appointed as Executive Manager of Sales and Marketing. Both had been given the responsibility to restructure their departments and help sort out the old boys club that had existed under George.

This was like a nightmare and there didn’t seem to be any logic in the changes. Sally was a first-class secretary and was my assistant. Charles was well respected in the industry with lots of contacts. He might just leave.

Then Emily announced that she wanted staff to feel prouder of the company and project a better image with no more casual days. She advised that Jenny would be issuing all staff below Executive Management level with a form of uniform consisting of company shirts and trousers to project a consistent image to customers and visitors and 2 sets would be issued. Jenny advised that they were due for delivery the following day and that the shirts had the company logo on the pocket and were white with trousers in black. Female staff no longer needed to wear skirts or dresses that should reduce their expense and allow a levelling up with male staff. All employees would have polo shirts in summer and long sleeve cotton shirts in winter months. Female staff would however be allowed to have a lightweight cotton version of the shirts and could wear a cardigan in winter months whilst male staff would have a sweater. Any women who preferred a sweater had that option. I was amazed that this was a priority action and since staff came in different shapes and sizes lots would complain. I remember thinking ‘good luck there.’

The rest of the morning was a blur. I seemed to be at Emily’s beck and call and hardly had chance to sit down and sort things out. She wanted a full list of all my business contacts and to highlight the top fifty. Her plan was to meet them all and for me to introduce them and explain that she’d taken over from George. I was pretty sure that her idea was to identify those who might be attracted to her fluttering eyelashes. She could certainly turn it on from when necessary, according to George so I was going to watch and learn. At least that was the general plan.

As if business in our industry could be won by flirting with the high-level staff. George and I trained staff to understand that it was a combined effort at all levels. I feared Emily might be too naïve to be successful and our chairman would soon find her out.

At lunchtime Emily headed out of the office with Jenny and Melanie that was a good opportunity for me to leave on time to meet Sally. She was already seated in a booth and had ordered 2 glasses of house wine and some nibbles. She stood up to greet me and we hugged for quite a while before she finally relaxed her grip.

‘Julian I’m so sorry. This is totally unjust and almost criminal. Surely you won’t accept this situation. I’d walk out and make them pay. I can find a good employment lawyer if you like.

‘It’s OK thanks I’m trying to decide my options and I’m not rushing into anything.’

‘But she’s promoted two unpopular members of your team who are already a pain in the neck as well as lacking experience. Just because they are women and fit her agenda I suppose. I’m ashamed, totally ashamed.’
‘Sally don’t get so worked up please. George is fine and he’ll easily find another job and when he does, he’ll call me.’

‘But that’s crazy. He built our business and lots of people benefited. Not just greedy shareholders but us employees. Who on earth made such a stupid decision?’

‘The shareholders and the Group Chairman. Emily is related to him. That might have influenced the decision.’

‘Well, I won’t be hanging around. As soon as I get chance I’ll be away. I liked working for you and I know how much effort you put into your job. You care about people and customers trust you.’

‘I suppose you are right, but I don’t have a say in the matter. I might have been an executive, but it doesn’t seem to count for much. Nobody consulted me or even gave a warning.’’

‘We ought to organise a walk out or a work to rule or something. Show the greedy devils that this is a business that was built on teamwork and trust. I’ve had it. Anyway, what’s wrong with your car. Why have you walked here?’

‘I was told I was going to lose it. Possibly I could keep it until the end of the month.’

‘What. You are mad? That’s part of your remuneration, Don’t let them bully you please. Take the afternoon off and go take some legal advice.’

‘I can’t. I have to handover things to Emily, I don’t want to give them any excuses and I’ve already shaken hands that I’ll take the new job with Emily.’

‘Come on Julian. It’s not just about you it’s the careers and livelihoods of all of us. This restructuring and the way they’ve dealt with key staff is probably unlawful.’

‘OK let me think about it.’

We headed back to the office, and I don’t remember eating or who paid the bill. I was still in a blur.

Around 4pm Emily called me into her office to ask that I clear my car and hand over the keys before I left the office. I didn’t care anymore what they did to me, so I did as instructed and just handed over the keys. I was welling up inside and had to dash to the bathrooms and find a cubicle where I stayed until I had calmed down. What had I done to deserve this treatment? I was again almost on the point of resigning and walking out as Sally had suggested. I called George instead and he calmed me down and told me that he needed me to stay there so we could get our jobs back and correct any damage done. So, I stayed silent.

I left the office at 5-30pm that was unusual, but without transport I needed to catch a bus home and I’d no idea of the service I needed or the schedule. Emily did tell me that she had a car sorted for the following day if I was interested to buy it. It turned out that my car was being handed to Melanie and she was prepared to sell hers to me at a knock down price. I said that I’d think about it but it was humiliating and I was sure that Melanie was enjoying every moment.

At my apartment I threw my things across the room and let out a loud scream. I was surprised that neighbours didn’t come running to see if I’d been murdered or something. I had no appetite, and I needed a drink, so I poured a large gin and tonic and half of it disappeared in seconds. Two refills were consumed before I decided to shower and dress and go into town to take my mind off work. It helped and I soon found myself outside the Cat’s Club where friends of mine hung out.
I don’t think any of them knew me other than as Julia or Jules and I’d never met them away from the club. At least we could chat about other things and after two more drinks work was the last thing on my mind. I rarely consumed alcohol so I was feeling a little drunk and it was only 9pm. There were several guys in the bar who were on a business trip, and they approached us to check us out. I wasn’t prepared to get too involved as it was not my scene, but Cathy was turned on and Karen was encouraging her. I just needed to escape as soon as possible before I made matters worse. It was bad enough being found out by Melanie or Jenny without somebody else seeing me with a guy.

Luckily the guy’s lost interest when the drag show started, and I took the opportunity to leave. I excused myself and took a cab home. I needed to sober up and eat something, so I ran a bath and made myself a sandwich.
I had a better night’s sleep thanks to the G&T’s, and I woke up early with a surprisingly clear head. I felt calmer than I had the day before and I had a cooked breakfast before getting ready for another nervous day at the office. I’d only eaten a third of my sandwich the night before, so I was ready for something substantial inside me to soak up the alcohol and luckily, I had some eggs and bits and pieces to make myself a large omelette.

I took the bus that was much busier than I expected and arrived at the office at around 8am to find Emily already in her office checking her messages and reading some of my most recent reports.

‘Ah Jules good morning. Do you mind getting us some coffee and joining me? I want to go through your recent reports with you and make an action plan.’

I headed for the kitchen to make a fresh jug of coffee and before long I was surrounded by other staff members keen to fill their cups and scurry back to their seats.

The next hour or so was spent explaining about the key customers in my reports and who were important and who paid on time as well as those who placed repeat business and had a history with our company. The upside was that Emily complemented me on my reports and said that I clearly knew the business and the competition so my role in her support was important, so we achieved the goals she had promised to shareholders. At least it seemed like I had some value and a role to play going forward if I could tolerate being cast aside.

We were interrupted by a call from Melanie who advised that the new outfits had arrived and that she was about to arrange for staff to collect them. By the time I left Emily’s office most had been allocated and those that were left in the men’s section were much too large for my small frame.

Melanie couldn’t resist telling me that I’d be better to try outfits from the womens area that were similar and that I looked to be a similar size to her that was a common womens size. I let her see how angry I was, but it didn’t seem to faze her. ‘Just take them and go and try them on. You’re a bit light up top but I think they seem to be the right size. You just see.’ I was sure she was doing this on purpose because she knew about my cross dressing.

The trousers were clearly a different style to my own, but they did fit. I was experienced enough to tell that would be the case even without Melanie’s advice. One of her staff was giggling in the background as I left the changing area that had been set up, so I knew they were nothing like a men’s fit. They were higher on the waist and fitted snuggly back and front. The trousers were boot cut and slightly long in the leg. The polo shirt was like the men’s version but with opposite hand buttons, but the size was about right. Melanie said I’d look better in a blouse like the other secretarial staff and handed one for me to try on. I gave her my best black look saying this was stupid and I coloured up as I took the blouse from her.

‘Wow you look great. Must be all the practice you’ve had and your diet. I suggest a low heel rather than shortening the trousers that I think fit perfectly. Just turn around. If you wear some of your feminine undies, they’ll look even better.
‘But there are no pockets and I’ll have no jacket, and this is clearly a feminine uniform.’
‘Don’t make such a fuss. Staff know you’re out of work interests so what’s your problem. Emily will be impressed. I bet you’ve loads of shoes that you can wear with those so why not pop home at lunchtime as you are close enough? You can use a small bag for your belongings. I bet you have plenty in your closet that would be adequate. You can change from your business suit and be one of the first to adopt the new style.’

‘What about you? Why aren’t you wearing this outfit?’

‘It doesn’t apply to senior management. I’ll be wearing business suits from now on same as Emily. We do have you to thank for our opportunity with Emily. You hired us,’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 4

I had a wonderful night’s sleep dreaming a lot. It was so realistic that I couldn’t wake up when my alarm went. In the dream the company was now 100% female employees and was the only male. I had been retained on the basis that I agreed to live and work as a female employee and that I was receiving hormone treatment and my breasts had already developed such that I needed a bra. I was the envy of my colleagues and when I used the bathroom, I had no choice but to sit down since my appendage had shrunk to almost nothing. I’d looked for the men’s bathroom, but it had been converted to a rest area with sofas and a large screen tv showing fashion programmes. Staff were now allowed to take regular breaks to relax and chat and there was a pair of massage chairs for those needing to chill out and put their feet up for a while. Several male employees had accepted Emily’s new rules for male employees the top priority of which was that they had to undergo hormone treatment to change their behaviour with a sex change as an option. That involved removing their testicles and for some all of their male parts. I was exempt because I passed the initial tests and interviews and was considered sufficiently female without any treatment. According to the report my testicles were small enough to be defined as non-existent and I was unable to achieve an erection. I could not perform even if I had urges because it was lifeless.

When I eventually woke sufficiently that I saw the time I realised that I had been dreaming. I quickly got out of bed and took a shower to wake up properly I stood with the water splashing into my face and soaked my hair. Was this the plan for our company to retire or make all male employees redundant. Would I really be retained if I passed as female in such a situation? This was impossible. No employer would get away with such sexism.

I was behind schedule, but I decided to shampoo and condition my hair. I decided to let it dry naturally and tie it back into my customary loose ponytail style on my way to work or in the men’s room in reception. It was getting quite long now, and it was full. I had missed my regular hair appointments recently due to the pressures of work supporting George.

I was actually quite excited to get dressed in my new uniform even though I’d shown my opposition to the idea. I thought this was a very androgynous look that was exciting, and it was clearly Emily’s way of putting me in my place. I was now operating at a lower level and staff needed to see I was no longer in charge. They needed to see that I also had to follow the new rules whatever my objection. The shirt only needed a padded bra underneath, and I knew I’d pass as a female employee. I decided to wear a silk camisole underneath it that wouldn’t be noticeable much like the black Sloggi panties I liked to wear. I knew that I had to take care that I didn’t get too carried away and also that nothing showed. I needed to be as certain as possible that I blended in with other male employees rather than the females and that the trousers weren’t too obvious. More like slacks I suppose than trousers.

I liked the effect that the low heel was having that seemed to go well with the cut of the trousers and a heel gave me chance to look taller although I knew that I’d still be shorter than Emily who liked to accentuate her height with 5” stiletto heels. The rumour mill suggested that she liked to cover her legs for some reason. Maybe they were scarred in an accident or something or just didn’t like men staring. I’d heard she’d been blessed with model like long shapely legs and a cute butt. She covered that with a jacket that I’d not seen her remove. No wonder she had the air conditioning temperature adjusted in my office. She clearly preferred to wear trouser suits. Maybe she had lesbian tendencies.

When I checked myself in the long mirror, I saw that the trousers were tight in the crutch area so that there was very little room for the male appendage. Standing to relieve myself would be a problem not least because there was no fly. Lucky that I was wearing these firm hold panties to keep me well tucked, but could I last all day trussed up? I opted to wear black tights since the trouser material was light and the weather forecast wasn’t great with rain expected as well as a strong breeze. Since I was wearing short boots, the tights would not be obvious to anybody interested enough to take a second glance, but I needed a jacket and a heavy coat. I opted for a double-breasted blazer from the Julie side of my wardrobe that looked OK with the trousers. Not exactly a masculine look but I was running out of time. I had a raincoat that would cover everything, and I found a computer bag that was intended for i-pads to carry my wallet and other bits and pieces. It didn’t exactly look as good as my masculine outfits I normally wore for work and again this was clearly the image that Emily wanted to distinguish between senior managers and staff.

As I walked to the bus stop it was windy as forecast, so my hair was all over the place and I regretted sleeping in and not using my drier and tying it back. One upside was that I admired my reflection in shop windows and as a result I had a spring in my step. If I had a touch of make up the image could be that of any young businesswoman heading to the office. Not that many walk to work or take a bus these days. There were lots of people rushing around so nobody seemed to bother me and even the owner of the newsagents where I stopped to buy the Morning Post didn’t look up at me as I paid. I was glad I had kept my appearance as normal as possible.

The top and bottom of it was that I felt happier than in a long time despite the shock of the changes at work. Unfortunately, that mood soon changed when I got on the bus. I realised that I was not as comfortable dressed in the company uniform as I would have been wearing a normal business suit. Not that I used the bus service of course. I felt several sets of piercing eyes staring at me from the moment I sat down to the minute I left the bus. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, and I sat upright trying to look out of the window, but I was facing inwards. I crossed my legs that did seem to come naturally but unfortunately since I was sitting high up on a side seat my trouser legs lifted and exposed my leg covered in black tights rather than socks. Whatever my intent I was being seen as a female employee on the way to work. I so wanted to stare right back at the peering eyes, but I didn’t want to risk sending the wrong signals. I opened my bag and searched for my compact so I could look at myself in the mirror. I needed to get a car to avoid this sort of experience even if it was of lower standard than the one that I had been driving. Melanie’s would have to do for now.

When I arrived at the office, I headed straight to the men’s room only to be stopped by a young guy I didn’t know who re-directed me to the ladies’ rest room. I knew it was early and so to avoid a scene I apologised and went inside. Luckily it was empty, so I quickly removed my raincoat and tidied myself and then started to put a brush through my hair. Before I had chance to put on my hairband to tie my hair into a ponytail the door burst open and in came the new receptionist who we’d hired to replace a retiree. She was very pretty, and she also was wearing the company uniform but with a skirt rather than trousers.

‘What awful weather. It’s made a real mess of my hair and I’m supposed to create a glamourous image as guests arrive. I just spent a fortune on a new style, and it was obviously a waste of money. Sorry I’m Maddy by the way. Who are you?’

I introduced myself as Jules, Emily’s assistant, that clearly impressed her. ‘Oh, the new chief. I haven’t met her yet, but I understand there have been some big changes. I half expected the job offer to have been withdrawn. How long have you worked here then? I can’t afford to lose this job I’m getting married soon and we’ve taken out a big mortgage on our apartment.’

‘I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get a word in but I took the chance. I’ve worked here several years but things have changed a lot. Ms Waterton is my boss but she’s new to the business so there is a lot of nervousness and uncertainty around.’

‘Well at our level we don’t need to worry. Let them do what they like. Just as long as I keep my job until I’ve married and we are settled down. I don’t intend working for long, we want a family asap.’

‘Oh, that’s expensive. Are you sure you can afford it?’

‘Well, we both can rely on the bank of mum and dad if we get in a mess, but I must make sure I’ve hooked him first. His family are loaded. They are paying for everything on our wedding day as well as the honeymoon. They are desperate for grandchildren. Are you in a relationship? You don’t have a ring.’

I just responded quietly with a no I’m not so lucky. She might have heard me but it wasn’t likely as she just carried on. ‘I was engaged within 2 months of our first date. It’s amazing how soon guys can be manipulated when sex is on offer.’
I needed to escape before I got the rest of her life story. Women can certainly talk and that was one thing I needed to work on during my excursions as Julie. My voice was fine since it was never very deep, but I knew that I was too polite and very quiet in company of others. I’d always been bullied and teased because of my slight build and high pitched voice that never really broke.

I escaped before anybody else came in with my hair roughly tied back into my normal style, but I had no shirt collar to tuck it into. The polo shirt was a looser fit around the neck even with the top button fastened. My hair found its own place to settle. I wish I’d sorted it out properly before I left home. I decided I need to have it trimmed as soon as I had time.

I arrived at my desk as Emily appeared. ‘Morning Jules. Can you pop into my office after you’ve made a fresh brew of coffee? I just tried myself, but I made a bit of a mess. I’m not very good at domestics.’

Sally was just clearing the mess when I went into the kitchen and said that I had a challenge on my hands looking after Madam. She just smiled and said welcome to the club. I’d soon been relegated to office admin level even in Sally’s eyes. The King is dead long live the Queen.

‘Morning Sally this is very degrading. I’m having to wear a uniform and Melanie delighted in allocating me trousers and tops in womens sizes.Just look at me I have been mistaken as female several times already this morning. I was re-directed from the mens room to the ladies and in the ladies I met the new receptionist. Did I really select her from the shortlist provided by HR?’

‘Yes, you approved it because you felt she had potential as well as the right image for a receptionist. By the way you do look good and at home in the new uniform. It really suits you. Just turn around let me see front and back. Are you happy with it?’

‘I can’t be anything else but happy since I have no choice.’

‘Well Jules you’ll have to take care around some of the male employees or you’ll be covered in bruises. Those pants are quite tight and lots of the guys have wondering hands. Still, I think Emily will soon be sorting them out.’

‘Well, as I said I’ve had more than enough male attention already. The bus ride was awful. I felt like a piece of meat. You don’t think the uniform is obviously feminine do you?’
‘Not too feminine more total feminine. You look great and if you had boobs, you’d look more like a female member of staff than most of us do in pants and shirts. Not everybody has the slim waist and soft features that you have.’

‘Well, I am already aware I’m going to have to try to adjust my outfit and buy some men’s pants. As I said I met a young guy coming out of the gent’s bathroom as I was entering and he didn’t recognise me. He stopped me entering and eyed me up and down then pointed me to the ladies. It was so embarrassing. Good job I didn’t know him from Adam.’

‘Well get used to it I think Emily will be happy with this look. Just you wait and see.’

‘What do you mean? What are you saying? Do you think she’s done this to me on purpose?’

‘Maybe. But I was warned by Melanie. Apparently, she does have an eye for attractive women and not just the young ones. Maybe she is anti-men and sees you as more female than male. If you play your cards right and flirt a little you could be in there like me with Melanie. I won’t be hanging around. You look great and with some make-up and eye-lash extensions you could cash-in. My friend could help. Imagine the fun you could have. Have you ever gone out fully dressed? I bet you have.’

‘I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t intend changing my appearance. Anyway, Emily is too serious about her career to let her image slip or show weakness. She hasn’t been here for long; I hardly know her. I thought she was just a feminist and a workaholic.’

‘Probably you’re right but just wait for your chance to test the water and then jump right in. That’s all I’m saying. Melanie says she told her and Jenny that she went to a girl only college as a boarder. Most of them get intimate and turn out preferring the company of girls. You might be a half-way house. A girlfriend with extras.’

I just couldn’t believe how this conversation had developed with Sally as she was never normally so open. I certainly had no intention of playing the bimbo with Emily and lowering my guard. It was bad enough that I’d been outed by somebody, and I didn’t need rumours to get worse.

I arrived at my desk and gathered my notebook and took Emily her coffee.

‘Thanks Julie.’

Did I just hear her right?

‘Julie before we start an update. There was a problem with your replacement car. If you pop to see Melanie she will explain. You might be on public transport for a day or two but I’m happy to give you a lift home anytime that fits. Especially if we need to work late whilst we are getting things turned around.’

I didn’t like the delay and was too kind accepting to give up my company car to Melanie. Neither did I fancy the bus every day after my earlier experience, but it might be better than accepting a lift offer from Emily.

Things were going from bad to worse.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 4

I had a wonderful night’s sleep dreaming a lot. It was so realistic that I couldn’t wake up when my alarm went. In the dream the company was now 100% female employees and was the only male. I had been retained on the basis that I agreed to live and work as a female employee and that I was receiving hormone treatment and my breasts had already developed such that I needed a bra. I was the envy of my colleagues and when I used the bathroom, I had no choice but to sit down since my appendage had shrunk to almost nothing. I’d looked for the men’s bathroom but it had been converted to a rest area with sofas and a large screen tv showing fashion programmes. Staff were now allowed to take regular breaks to relax and chat and there was a pair of massage chairs for those needing to chill out and put their feet up for a while. Several male employees had accepted Emily’s new rules for male employees the top priority of which was that they had to undergo hormone treatment to change their behaviour with a sex change as an option. That involved removing their testicles and for some all of their male parts. I was exempt because I passed the initial tests and interviews and was considered sufficiently female without any treatment. According to the report my testicles were small enough to be defined as non-existent and I was unable to achieve an erection. I could not perform even if I had urges because it was lifeless.
When I eventually woke sufficiently that I saw the time I realised that I had been dreaming. I quickly got out of bed and took a shower to wake up properly I stood with the water splashing into my face and soaked my hair . Was this the plan for our company to retire or make all male employees redundant. Would I really be retained if I passed as female in such a situation? This was impossible. No employer would get away with such sexism.

I was behind schedule, but I decided to shampoo and condition my hair. I decided to let it dry naturally and tie it back into my customary loose ponytail style on my way to work or in the men’s room in reception. It was getting quite long now, and it was full. I had missed my regular hair appointments recently due to the pressures of work supporting George.

I was actually quite excited to get dressed in my new uniform even though I’d shown my opposition to the idea. I thought this was a very androgynous look that was exciting, and it was clearly Emily’s way of putting me in my place. I was now operating at a lower level and staff needed to see I was no longer in charge. They needed to see that I also had to follow the new rules whatever my objection. The shirt only needed a padded bra underneath, and I knew I’d pass as a female employee. I decided to wear a silk camisole underneath it that wouldn’t be noticeable much like the black Sloggi panties I liked to wear. I knew that I had to take care that I didn’t get too carried away and also that nothing showed. I needed to be as certain as possible that I blended in with other male employees rather than the females and that the trousers weren’t too obvious. More like slacks I suppose than trousers.

I liked the effect that the low heel was having that seemed to go well with the cut of the trousers and a heel gave me chance to look taller although I knew that I’d still be shorter than Emily who liked to accentuate her height with 5” stiletto heels. The rumour mill suggested that she liked to cover her legs for some reason. Maybe they were scarred in an accident or something or just didn’t like men staring. I’d heard she’d been blessed with model like long shapely legs and a cute butt. She covered that with a jacket that I’d not seen her remove. No wonder she had the air conditioning temperature adjusted in my office. She clearly preferred to wear trouser suits. Maybe she had lesbian tendencies.

When I checked myself in the long mirror, I saw that the trousers were tight in the crutch area so that there was very little room for the male appendage. Standing to relieve myself would be a problem not least because there was no fly. Lucky that I was wearing these firm hold panties to keep me well tucked, but could I last all day trussed up? I opted to wear black tights since the trouser material was light and the weather forecast wasn’t great with rain expected as well as a strong breeze. Since I was wearing short boots, the tights would not be obvious to anybody interested enough to take a second glance, but I needed a jacket and a heavy coat. I opted for a double-breasted blazer from the Julie side of my wardrobe that looked OK with the trousers. Not exactly a masculine look but I was running out of time. I had a raincoat that would cover everything, and I found a computer bag that was intended for i-pads to carry my wallet and other bits and pieces. It didn’t exactly look as good as my masculine outfits I normally wore for work and again this was clearly the image that Emily wanted to distinguish between senior managers and staff.

As I walked to the bus stop it was windy as forecast, so my hair was all over the place and I regretted sleeping in and not using my drier and tying it back. One upside was that I admired my reflection in shop windows and as a result I had a spring in my step. If I had a touch of make up the image could be that of any young businesswoman heading to the office. Not that many walk to work pr take a bus these days. There were lots of people rushing around so nobody seemed to bother me and even the owner of the newsagents where I stopped to buy the Morning Post didn’t look up at me as I paid. I was glad I had kept my appearance as normal as possible.

The top and bottom of it was that I felt happier than in a long time despite the shock of the changes at work. Unfortunately, that mood soon changed when I got on the bus. I realised that I was not as comfortable dressed in the company uniform as I would have been wearing a normal business suit. Not that I used the bus service of course. I felt several sets of piercing eyes staring at me from the moment I sat down to the minute I left the bus. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, and I sat upright trying to look out of the window, but I was facing inwards. I crossed my legs that did seem to come naturally but unfortunately since I was sitting high up on a side seat my trouser legs lifted and exposed my leg covered in black tights rather than socks. Whatever my intent I was being seen as a female employee on the way to work. I so wanted to stare right back at the peering eyes, but I didn’t want to risk sending the wrong signals. I opened my bag and searched for my compact so I could look at myself in the mirror. I needed to get a car to avoid this sort of experience even if it was of lower standard than the one, I had been driving. Melanie’s would have to do for now.

When I arrived at the office, I headed straight to the men’s room only to be stopped by a young guy I didn’t know who re-directed me to the ladies’ rest room. I knew it was early and so to avoid a scene I apologised and went inside. Luckily it was empty, so I quickly removed my raincoat and tidied myself and then started to put a brush through my hair. Before I had chance to put on my hairband to tie my hair into a ponytail the door burst open and in came the new receptionist who we’d hired to replace a retiree. She was very pretty, and she also was wearing the company uniform but with a skirt rather than trousers.

‘What awful weather. It’s made a real mess of my hair and I’m supposed to create a glamourous image as guests arrive. I just spent a fortune on a new style, and it was obviously a waste of money. Sorry I’m Maddy by the way. Who are you?’

I introduced myself as Jules, Emily’s assistant, that clearly impressed her. ‘Oh, the new chief. I haven’t met her yet but I understand there have been some big changes. I half expected the job offer to have been withdrawn. How long have you worked here then? I can’t afford to lose this job I’m getting married soon and we’ve taken out a big mortgage on our apartment.’

‘I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get a word in but I took the chance. I’ve worked here several years but things have changed a lot. Ms Waterton is my boss but she’s new to the business so there is a lot of nervousness and uncertainty around.’

‘Well at our level we don’t need to worry. Let them do what they like as long as I keep my job until we settle down. I don’t intend working for long, we want a family asap.’

‘Oh, that’s expensive. Are you sure you can afford it?’

‘Well, we both can rely on the bank of mum and dad if we get in a mess, but I must make sure I’ve hooked him first. His family are loaded. They are paying for everything on our wedding day as well as the honeymoon. They are desperate for grandchildren. Are you in a relationship? You don’t have a ring.’

I needed to escape before I got the rest of her life story. Women can certainly talk and that was one thing I needed to work on during my excursions as Julie. My voice was fine, but I was too polite and very quiet in company of others.’

I escaped before anybody else came in with my hair roughly tied back into my normal style, but I had no shirt collar to tuck it into. The polo shirt was a looser fit around the neck even with the top button fastened. My hair found it’s own place to settle. I wish I’d sorted it out properly before I left home.

I arrived at my desk as Emily appeared. ‘Morning Jules. Can you pop into my office after you’ve made a fresh brew of coffee? I just tried myself but I made a bit of a mess. I’m not very good at domestics.’

Sally was just clearing the mess when I went into the kitchen and said that I had a challenge on my hands looking after Madam. She just smiled and said welcome to the club. I’d soon been relegated to office admin level even in Sally’s eyes. The King is dead long live the Queen.

‘Morning Sally I just met the new receptionist downstairs. Did I really select her from the shortlist provided by HR?’

‘Yes, you approved it because you felt she had potential as well as the right image for a receptionist. By the way you look good in the new uniform. It really suits you. Just turn around let me see front and back. Are you happy with it?’

‘I can’t be anything else but happy since I have no choice.’

‘Well Jules you’ll have to take care around some of the male employees or you’ll be covered in bruises. Those pants are quite tight and lots of the guys have wondering hands. Still, I think Emily will soon be sorting them out.’

‘Well, I must admit I’ve had more attention already. The bus ride was awful. I felt like a piece of meat. You don’t think the uniform is too feminine do you.’
‘Not too feminine more total feminine. You look great and if you had boobs, you’d look more like a female member of staff than most of us do in pants and shirts. Not everybody has the slim features that you have.’

‘Well, I am already aware I’m going to have to try to adjust my outfit and buy some men’s pants. I met a young guy coming out of the gent’s bathroom as I was entering the office building, and he pointed me to the ladies. It was embarrassing. Good job I didn’t know him from Adam.’

‘Well get used to it I think Emily will be happy with this look. Just you wait and see.’

‘What do you mean? What are you saying? Do you think she’s done this to me on purpose?’

‘Maybe. But I was warned by Melanie. Apparently, she does have an eye for attractive women and not just the young ones. Maybe she is anti-men and sees you as more female than male. If you play your cards right and flirt a little you could be in there like me with Melanie. I won’t be hanging around. You look great and with some make-up and eye-lash extensions you could cash-in. My friend could help. Imagine the fun you could have. Have you ever gone out fully dressed? I bet you have.’

‘I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t intend changing my appearance. Anyway Emily is too serious about her career to let her image slip or show weakness. She hasn’t been here for long, I hardly know her. I thought she was just a feminist and a workaholic.’

‘Probably you’re right but just wait for your chance to test the water and then jump right in. That’s all I’m saying. Melanie says she told her and Jenny that she went to a girl only college as a boarder. Most of them get intimate and turn out preferring the company of girls. You might be a half-way house. A girlfriend with extras.’

I just couldn’t believe how this conversation had developed with Sally as she was never normally so open. I certainly had no intention of playing the bimbo with Emily and lowering my guard. It was bad enough that I’d been outed by somebody, and I didn’t need rumours to get worse.

I arrived at my desk and gathered my notebook and took Emily her coffee.

‘Thanks Julie.’

Did I just hear her right?

‘Julie before we start an update. There was a problem with your replacement car. If you pop to see Melanie she will explain. You might be on public transport for a day or too but I’m happy to give you a lift home anytime that fits. Especially if we need to work late whilst we are getting things turned around.’

I didn’t like the delay and was too kind giving up my own car to Melanie. Neither did I fancy the bus every day after my earlier experience, but it might be better than accepting offer from Emily.

Things were going from bad to worse.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 5

‘Now then Jules let me look at you please. They made a good job of the uniform don’t you agree? Turn around please let me see you from the back. I hope you like it. It looks snug and comfortable. No bumps or VPL to be seen. I don’t think you need to bother changing the trousers to a men’s cut. I recommend you keep that style and fit.’

I blushed and stuttered some sort of a response along the lines that it did feel quite comfortable, but I had been mistaken for a female employee on my way in. I said it would be better if I was re-issued with trousers like the rest of the male staff.

‘But a good fit that suits you is a good thing isn’t it not a bad thing?’

‘Not exactly because I know it makes me look androgynous that causes embarrassment. I was stopped from entering the men’s room so ended up doing my hair in the ladies’ bathroom. It was awkward when I was confronted earlier so to avoid making an issue and to keep a low profile I quickly went in out of the way until he’s gone. Luckily it was early with nobody around and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see why the mistake was made. My hair needs cutting, and I should have tied it back at home.’

‘I like you better with that look but why not higher your ponytail a little to show it off more. Then the blond streaks will stand out. As for your outfit the more casual look is much better on you and your men’s suits seem far too big. They bury you. They don’t seem to go with your figure that is very slim for a man. You have a very narrow waist and a cute curved bum that your jackets obviously covered in a suit.’

‘Is that why you called me Julie because I look feminine? It is not right.’

‘Well, that can just be between us if you like. You do like dressing in female clothes, don’t you? I just assumed that would be your female name.’

‘I don’t dress in female clothes except on special occasions. I admit that I’ve always liked the feeling when I dress because the materials used in womens clothes are much nicer. I do sometimes dress in private or to go out with girlfriends but never at work though. Nobody knew I did this but obviously somebody must have recognised me somewhere when I was out with friends and leaked the information. Gossip mongers with nothing better to do.’

‘Or maybe they saw you if you joined in any of the transgender protest marches around here.’

‘I only joined the Gay Pride march that was two months ago and I did dress appropriately but I can’t have been recognisable. I had a long wig and make-up.’

‘Well, make-up just accentuates your feminine features it doesn’t hide anything like a mask for example.’

‘I was wearing a mask when we set off but I was persuaded to remove it.’

‘Well, none of that is relevant and what’s done is done. Just give it time and I think you will become braver. I don’t have a problem how you want to appear outside work as long as you do the job that I need you to do.’

‘But I was in charge here before with only George as CEO as my direct superior. Now it seems like I’m secretary level and I’ve lost all respect from the workforce.’

‘Don’t worry we’ll soon sort that out. You are not secretary level I made you my PA. That’s a powerful position in any organisation.’

I nodded meekly and took a sip of coffee that was getting cold. I had to accept the situation for now and it could have been much worse. My priority was keeping the pay cheque, paying off my debts and supporting my family.

‘Right Julie let’s crack on please. You can call me Emily by the way, but I prefer Ms Waterton when we are with customers or in board meetings where you can take notes and help me get to understand the business.’

‘It will take time but after that what happens to me?’

‘Nothing planned it’s up to you. I will always need a PA and you can travel with me sometimes. I hope that won’t be a problem for you. I want to really expand the business and find new customers who value our support. Ones that pay and keep coming back. You should highlight the customers who have females running the company or in positions of power. They will be the most loyal and trustworthy.’

‘We have just a few like that. A handful really.’

‘We’ll soon change that. Didn’t you ever access Company reports that disclose this sort of information?’

‘I left that to our finance department, but they focus on the company’s ability to pay rather than the Owners and Directors.’

‘We’ll be changing that. We need to get to know the customers at all levels and build relationships. No wonder getting paid has been a problem.’

‘It was my job to build customer relationships.’

‘It’s a team effort. George was too lax then. I think we’ll have to run through some of the bad debts and go meet the culprits. I bet they all drive fancy cars. Can you bring your list, and we’ll highlight some priorities?’

‘Are you saying that I cost George his job?’

‘Not directly but you were a team, and he should have been more diligent. We all have a role to play, and we watch each other’s backs. Women are always better looking after the purse strings. We’ll be appointing a new CFO and I have someone ready to step in.’

‘But what about Andrew Frobisher? He has been with us for almost 20 years.’

‘I can tell. He is not doing a very good job. I had a chat with him and how he survived I’ll never know. A good CFO is one who gets involved. We don’t want bean counters in that role. That’s my impression of Andrew.’

‘He’ll be devastated. He works long hours and he’s the one who turns off the lights.’
‘
‘Well wait until you meet Pam Parkinson. You’ll soon see the difference. I already let her take a look at some of the financials. She highlighted the key actions in less than an hour.’

‘So when does she start?’

‘Next week. I paid a fee to her employers, since she was smart enough to have a release clause It will be money well spent just wait and see. The department has plenty of hard-working female staff. They just need leadership, and we’ll soon win their loyalty.’

‘George and I identified our main debtors and it’s true that they caused us headaches and we tried to take them to court but auditors made us write off huge sums until we had settlements in place.’

‘Order book is important but as I said this business needs a woman’s hand at the tiller for a while. Men are too soft. I’m going to show you how to run a business where profit and cash in the bank counts more than order book.’

‘Why waste your time with me if we are weak?’

‘Based on my assessment you are more likely to take on board these new policies than the macho men you’ve employed in the past in the company. I haven’t much time for old fashioned styles of management in male dominated companies.’

‘But why remove all my authority? You must have decided I’m not capable of doing the job.’

‘Julie, I make judgements of people regardless of gender and you have lots of empathy and sensitivity that are important. I think we could develop your personality if you follow my advice. I rely a lot on my initial instincts about people and you have potential in the right job. Now come on we have work to do. Tell me the company who failed us the most and fix up a meeting please. Here in my office is best for us, so please insist. If you need my help, then just transfer the call through to me.’

It was my chance. I’d soon find out if she was as good as she thinks she is. Emily is a strong personality with fixed views about men and she was so sure of herself I felt she was dangerous. I could show her up and she would be embarrassed. However on the upside she did seem to want to retain my services but as for teaching me anything or changing my ways in line with her ideas I didn’t think that was necessary.

As I thought about the last few years with George in control as far as I was concerned, we had proven ourselves and built the company, but shareholders just seemed greedy. I decided to go to my desk to do as she had instructed and report back to her as soon as possible, I knew who was top of my list of customers we needed to sort out, and I smiled to myself as I thought about how they would react to a woman in charge, especially one like Emily. Decision made.

The company was run by an arrogant Indian businessman, Devenah Viraj Rao and his son Shivay was his deputy. Their family had arrived in UK and set up a business that Rao fully controlled. We had had supplied them with a whole production line that cost several million pounds and was financed by our banks. We only received about half of what was due. They had argued the equipment was not as they specified and didn’t produce the products fast enough for them to reduce the labour force in line with their plans.

Rao was always very rude, especially to me and he called me Hijra that was embarrassing. He made it clear he considered me ineffective and that I was doing a job that needed a strong more masculine leader. I couldn’t resolve the disputes between our companies, so George had eventually become involved. The perfect opportunity for Emily. Rao would put her in her place, and he had made it clear he had no intention to pay. Their parent company guarantee was worthless because they were based in New Delhi so taking them to court was likely to be expensive and time consuming.

Emily instructed me to set up a meeting to introduce her as our new CEO who had replaced George. I was to tell them that because of their job I had been demoted so I knew Rao would want to come and gloat as well as to show off to his son. It would be a good test of her true ability to make her realise this was a tough job in a male dominated industry beyond her skill set. I decided not to disclose Emily’s gender.

I went back into Emily’s office with a file, and she immediately set it aside and said she had read Georges reports and was aware of the outstanding monies owed. She smiled and complemented me saying this would be the perfect opportunity to prove her capability to shareholders.

I contacted Shivay who agreed to a meeting the following day but at their office rather than ours because we were the supplier. I convinced Emily and since they were about 100 miles away, she said she would drive and pick me up from home.

I made a list of a few other difficult customers and started writing a summary report to issue to Emily and she made a few phone calls and then called me back into her office to dictate a few letters. I was no secretary, but I scribbled notes as fast as I could. Emily seemed to be enjoying herself. We were interrupted by a call that was for me related to a quotation we had submitted. She insisted on the call going onto loudspeaker and introducing herself as the new CEO and that I was now her PA. The customer went a little quiet whilst Emily talked about herself, and her qualifications and she told them that George had resigned rather than the truth.

We never got around to finding out why the customer had called. Emily didn’t seem to realise this had happened and it seemed she felt so pleased with herself to have made a business contact who she would develop a relationship. After the call ended, she asked me to quickly formulate a key contact file that she could access and to transfer contact information from my own files.

I asked if she wanted any meetings in the afternoon as I wanted to get my car sorted out and insured but she told me we had too much to do and that she wanted me to arrange a working lunch in the boardroom with her new management team starting at noon with a break for lunch at 1pm. I’d no time to do much and no idea where to start so I panicked a bit before I decided to call Sally for help. She offered to assist but told me to book the boardroom first and contact the attendees personally as they might have other arrangements. She would organise the caterers and meet me to confirm the lunch items. This was crazy. Too many things to do as well as taking Emily’s calls.

I managed to speak to everybody but had no idea of the agenda so there was no preparation expected. Some were a little shirty, especially the 3 men, Jack Roberts, Bill Nightingale and Warren Atkinson who were all attending production meetings that would have to be cut short.

I met Sally in her office, and she gave me the contacts at the caterers and a choice of menus for future reference. Then she took me to the kitchen alongside the boardroom that I’d never seen before, and we checked that we had clean utensils and crockery which we transferred to the boardroom on a side table.

‘Don’t we have staff come in for this sort of thing Sally?’

‘Didn’t you see us do this before in your meetings. Secretarial staff always sorted these things out and then you helped yourselves.’
‘Well, I hope Emily doesn’t expect to act as waitresses. We are not lackeys. We have our own jobs, and I haven’t done anything yet this morning that was on my to-do list.’

Sally was most helpful, and I was so glad that I’d always treated her kindly and built a relationship. I guessed she felt sorry for me and knew about my personal circumstances with my family in care homes. She was trying to ensure I stayed on the right side of Emily who was testing me and pushing me to my limits.

Whilst I was updating her about mums’ health condition Melanie appeared in the doorway of her office.
‘Ah Jules I thought I heard your voice can you pop into my office a moment. Sorry to break up your chatter Sally but can you ask Charles Cameron to join us please. He should be in the office this morning before he heads off to Poland,’

I followed Melanie into her office, and she closed the door Looking me up and down and smiling. She had obviously invested in a new outfit, and she looked taller and slimmer in heels. Copying Emily’s style.

‘Please sit-down Jules. You look smart in the Company uniform. It suits you.’

‘Thanks, but I’m not sure it is the right style for me. These pants are giving people the wrong idea about me. I need to change them for men’s pants.’
‘They look fine to me, and they fit well. You should keep them.’

I didn’t much want to prolong the meeting, so I just gave a weak smile. I couldn’t believe Melanie had been given this position and that James Austin and Harry Whitaker had been relieved of their duties. Both were in their fifties and close to 60th birthdays but they had lots of experience and I was in no doubt that George would be in contact with them. Melanie was good but not ready for leading the Sales team.

‘Now then Jules you seem to be settling into your new job and Emily seems satisfied with you, but I don’t want you interfering in sales because that’s my job. I understand you might be visiting key customers with Emily, so I want you to give me regular updates. She won’t have time to go out securing new business and that’s my job. So, keep in touch please and By all means Sally can help you settle in to your job. I only want to ensure Emily gets full support to turn the company around and I fully expect George to be competing with us at some time in the future. I will be keeping a close eye on you as I don’t want you behaving as an insider passing information.’

‘I have no contact with George, and he may well just retire since he can afford it. He was grooming me as his successor, and we hired fresh blood like you and Jenny to eventually move to senior positions.’
‘Yes, I understand but we weren’t progressing fast enough but Emily has given us the opportunities we wanted. So, the wheel has turned Jules and so take care not to cause any ripples and hopefully you’ll survive.’

‘I am being careful.’

‘Good. Now I have an update on the car. It will be ready tomorrow. You’ll be able to collect it with all the documentation sometime after lunch.’

‘But I might not be back from our meeting.’

‘What meeting is that?’

‘Emily asked me to set up a meeting with Rao’s company who owe us a lot of money and then to set up another meeting with a key customer to try to close a deal.’

‘Who might this company be? They are they my customers.’

‘It’s not for me to say or I’ll get into trouble.’

‘Never mind I’ll ask Emily myself. Either I’ll go with her instead of you or all three of us will be going.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 6

I was surprised at how Melanie seemed to have changed in such a short time. She’d always been wary and slightly nervous in my company but now she seemed totally confident and was displaying her newly found authority. Maybe George and I had been holding her back and not giving her the opportunities she deserved. My thought was broken by Melanie.

‘Jules is there anybody there. Come on pay attention. I wanted to know who you were visiting. Are you refusing to tell me?’

‘No but I didn’t want to cause any trouble. I was just following Emily’s instruction as her PA.’
‘Yes, your new role and hopefully you’ll surprise us all and prove Emily right to retain you on the payroll. I think your loyalty to George didn’t do you much good.’
There was a knock on the door and Melanie got up and walked across to open it. I was pretty sure that walk was for my benefit as she strode assuredly in her heels glancing back to catch my reaction. It was Charles Cameron, so I stood up to shake hands to congratulate him on his promotion. He was dressed in a normal business suit with no company uniform, but I didn’t say anything.

Melanie spoke after we settled into our seats. ‘Now then Charles you know that Jules has been retained as Emily’s PA, so I asked her to join us. Sorry I meant him. It’s just that PA’s are usually females. Anyway, we’ll soon see such practices disappear. Jules is going to arrange some appointments with key customers, so I want you to work together so we are all on the same page about our key customers and they don’t take advantage of us.’

‘Yes, ma’am it’s not a problem.’

‘Ma’am. Where did that come from. They are similar age and Charles was on a higher grade until Emily arrived.’

She was quick to intervene ‘No need to refer to me as ma’am in informal meetings like this Charles. Just use Emily or Ms Baxter. You should of course use ma’am when important clients are visiting or if you are addressing Ms Waterton.’ I guess my chin dropped until it almost hit the desk.
She must have seen me looking at how Charles was dressed since he wasn’t wearing the new uniform. She quickly spoke before I was able to comment.

‘You see that I’ve decided that senior sales staff in my department wear business suits rather than the Company uniform when they are out on business trips or meeting clients. Charles keeps one of his uniforms in the office in case visits finish by lunchtime. We have to project a professional image at all times.’

I agreed with Melanie, but had she discussed it with Emily? It did seem like the uniform policy was inconsistent and I wondered how Emily would react.

‘Now then Jules as Charles already knows we are strengthening our sales team and bringing in some fresh blood with younger ideas and she’ll be on an attractive salary and bonus arrangement. Starting next month, we will have a new Sales Executive Account Manager. Emily thinks fits her plans. She will be my second in command for sales and she will be Charles’ in-line boss. You may have come across her in the past, she’s the same age as Emily and they were at private school together and their families know each other. They have exchanged a lot of ideas together in recent months. Her name is Heather Carmichael, and her father is head of an investment company in London so he has a lot of contacts who might point is to major projects here and for export.’

‘But she works for one of our main competitors. I know of her, even though we have never met. She isn’t Sales Manager or Executive level though. Her boss was the real threat to us. He was always slashing his prices to beat us and wining and dining those with influence. Why would Heather Carmichael leave? She’ll have a clause in her employment contract to prevent it. She will be added cost.’

‘Well, she was able to get around that according to Emily. But this is confidential. The cost is worth it she can have an instant impact, It wasn’t difficult for her to manipulate the situation so she could walk out. Apparently, her boss always took a fancy to her, and he couldn’t keep it in his pants. Allegedly he got over-excited one day and went too far after buying her some perfume. Whilst she was testing it he was playing with himself under his desk. Supposedly he stood up to show her the effect she had on him, so she called him a dirty old man and left the room and the next day she reported him. He denied everything of course like most men do in such situations. Since there was no witness, and she didn’t immediately report him their CEO agreed the best solution was to pay her compensation and allow her to leave without any restraints.’

‘I suppose that is why George was reluctant to employ too many female staff in senior positions. It’s a minefield.’

‘You have a lot to learn Jules. Maybe Emily was too generous to give you a chance to re-build your career.’

Charles cut in. ‘I met her last night with Melanie, and she seems very switched on with lots of confidence. I think she’ll be a great asset to the company.’

‘Well said Charles. I think you’ll make a good team and Heather won’t be in any danger from Emily or me. Nor from you Jules I expect.’

I let that remark slide by unchallenged. The meeting closed and I headed back to my desk. By the time I got there I suspect that

‘But you should take care Melanie. If she has a friendship with Emily won’t that cause problems between you?’

‘I think we women will work well together to set examples to the staff and show the shareholders the Chairman made the right decision to get with the times.’

Then there was a knock and Sally popped her head around the door. ‘Sorry to interrupt but you have a staff meeting that is starting shortly Melanie. People are starting to gather in the meeting room.’

I was glad to get the chance to leave since I felt that I was being made to feel humiliated. Sally said she’d call me when she got out of the meeting to help set up the lunches that would arrive at 11-30. I passed a few employees from the sales department who were hovering around, and we were all in uniform as per the dictate. I was just one of the staff now that was clear, and as I walked through the main office most staff looked the other way to avoid my embarrassment. Most had been hired under my watch.

Emily’s door was closed when I returned to my desk and she was on a call so I logged onto my computer and opened the site for Marks & Spencer. If I was to visit clients with Emily and Melanie, I needed a suitable jacket to improve the appearance of my uniform. They would both be wearing business suits and my preference would be to wear one of mine if Emily agreed.

After searching the men’s department and finding nothing that was suitable, I switched to the womens department and found they had an elegant blazer in black that would match my trousers. It looked masculine enough with long sleeves and longer fit than male style so it would cover my butt and my frontage when fastened. It was a business style jacket and it seemed to match the men’s style I envisaged would be suitable it was tucked in at the waist for a much slimmer fit. With my narrow shoulders and slim waist it looked ideal so I decided I could call in after work and the store would be open provided I left on time and took the bus home. I called the store to ask them to set aside two jackets in sizes 14 and 16 just in case the fit was not as shown in the image. I left my name and contact number that satisfied the kind assistant who helped me. At least I had something that didn’t appear too casual for a business meeting.

Emily buzzed me when she completed her call, so I went into her office to find out what she wanted. She wanted me to go to her apartment at 2-30 pm to meet some workmen who were carrying out some maintenance work and I could use her car and leave the meeting early if it was still going on. I had little choice but to agree since as her PA I was supposed to assist her with most things.

At noon I had a call from reception to say the caterers had arrived with the lunch items, so I called Sally, but no answer. She was probably still in the meeting with Melanie, so I texted her and told her I’d be upstairs setting up the lunch. In reception I was greeted by two young delivery men with the trays of sandwiches and accompaniments. They introduced themselves and I noticed how both looked me up and down. They seemed friendly and joked with me about me not looking strong enough to carry the trays and offered to carry them. Whilst enroute to the boardroom they said they’d not seen me before but worst of all they referred to me as Julie. I decided not to correct them to save embarrassment. Perhaps it was Maddy, the receptionist, who had told them that was my name, but I decided I needed to consider a haircut and to pay more attention to my appearance.

As they left the taller one gave me a business card and said to call them when we’d finished and they’d return to collect the trays. He was definitely treating me as if I was female and I tried to escape his gaze. As much as this felt awkward a part of me was flattered and I knew that if I wanted to I could be a lot more convincing.

I let Emily know I was upstairs if she needed me and set about laying out the lunch as best I could on the side table and I covered everything to keep it as fresh as possible. Sally joined me as I was almost complete and with a few adjustments everything was ready. We made some flasks of coffee for the table and put bottles of water at each place with a glass.

‘Well Jules you passed. I bet you never expected to have had to do this did you?’

‘No never. It’s like I’m being re-trained starting at the bottom.’
‘Well, the good thing is that Emily seems to be giving you chance to stay with the Company. I think she likes you.’

‘Maybe or perhaps she feels sorry for me but that isn’t likely given her reputation.’

‘She is smart to hang onto you if you want my opinion. You know the business and she is using all your knowledge to her advantage.’

‘I guess that is one way of looking at it but on the other hand what about all the employees? What about my family? I can’t just give in and let them all down. It’s not how I was raised.’

‘Look Jules sometimes you have to think about yourself, or you will lose your ability to care about others. I think you are such a sweet and kind person. Maybe changing roles for a while will let you see what life is like at the lower end of the scale. Most people have lived through hard knocks and maybe you had everything go your way growing up. You were raised in a comfortable middle-class family and had a good education.’

‘Yes I know. I’m advantaged but also very naïve. I was always a whimp at school and I was bullied. People though I was gay but I’m not. Even the sandwich man took me as either gay or as a woman. I must project a soft image.’

‘Yes you do project a soft image but it’s a caring image. So what made you think he thought you were a woman.’

‘First of all the way he was looking at me. I swear he fancied me as a woman. He might have punched me if he thought I was gay.’

‘Did he make any lewd comments or touch you?’

;’No, in fact he was very nice and carried the trays upstairs and offered to come back to collect them.’

‘Yes that’s Max he’s the owners son. She raised him very well and he’ll take over the business soon. Did you fancy him?’

‘No Sally. No way. I thought he was nice and much nicer that all the boys I met at school.’

‘Well, I was just checking. You seem very content to work as a PA to Emily and quite comfortable in the new uniform. It suits you better than it suits me. I’m too big in the hips.’
‘What does your mum think of all the changes and the threat of losing your job.’

‘She doesn’t think anything because I didn’t tell her anything. She has enough on her plate and sometimes I don’t even think she knows I’m there. Ignorance is bliss.’
‘Come on we’d better get back to our desks. I’ve to be back here for the meeting shortly since I’m taking the notes.’

After a quick turnaround at my desk I followed Emily back to the boardroom where everybody was waiting. I sat alongside Emily as she welcomed everybody and explained the purpose of the meeting and that I’d be taking notes that I’d issue. I sensed apprehension and most only knew Emily through rumour and listening to her short introductory speech when she took over mine and Georges positions. I guess that was a cost saving I hadn’t considered.

Then Emily did a presentation without any notes or prompt cards talking for at least 20 minutes uninterrupted. She set out her plans to improve the customer base and work as a team where everybody had an important role to play. She wanted to focus on team spirit and to deliver products on time in budget and then to ensure they were reliable and that customers paid progress instalments to reduce our reliance on head office financial support and bank financing. All seemed so simple but not so easy in practice as George and I had found.

There was a short break to ask questions and I was impressed the way that Emily responded without any hesitation or deflection. She was selling herself and no doubt the management team seemed as impressed as me.

Then she surprised me by referring to George and myself. ‘I want to give huge credit to George Waterton and Jules here. They built this company and as a result we have a lot of shareholders who have benefited considerably. It’s just that we have a lot of very aggressive competitors now who have made the market very tough, so we have to become even better. You will see some new faces and some changing roles in the next few weeks. I am strengthening areas that need a more modern approach and I’ve already promoted Jenny Isaacs and Melanie Baxter because they are talented young women with a desire to do well. I have a new Financial Controller arriving soon who is key to our success and a new assistant for Melanie in Sales who transferred from our main competitor. We can attract the best talent because of the reputation this company has attained through hard work. I want to build on that success. ‘

At the end of her speech there was some muffled applause and Emily suggested we break for lunch. I had the job of ensuring everybody came up in an orderly fashion and that coffees were poured. I was last to take a plate and go back to my seat.

Emily turned to me and complemented me on my efforts and the selection of sandwich and I owed it all to Sally so I gave her the credit.

As we cleared the table to re-start the meeting I noticed the 3 production managers grouped together in a corner and whispering. They were always difficult for me to handle since they felt I wasn’t experienced enough in production matters and never spent any time on the tools. Probably they felt secure in their jobs as there weren’t many females in their departments. They didn’t feel that women liked to damage their nails or get their hands dirty so it was going to be another key challenge for Emily.

The meeting re-started on schedule and Emily did seem to interject to keep things on track and was aiming for a 2-30 pm finish. I had to help clarify actions reading back from my notes and deadlines were set. There was a little grumbling but in general everybody had things to do before the next meeting. Emily wrapped up the meeting and everybody dispersed.

I called Sally and she came up to help tidy up and she asked if I was going to ring Max and invite him back. She winked as she said it and I stuck out my tongue.

She asked how the meeting had gone and I had to admit that it went very well and that everybody seemed impressed with Emily.

‘I guess the business needed a woman’s touch. I sense you two will make a good team.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 7

I rang the number Max gave me and he picked up immediately. ‘Hi Julie are you done?’

‘How did you know it was me?’
‘I asked Sally for the number I should call to collect and when I called and here is your name and your image.’
‘But my name is Julian or Jules not Julie.’

‘Well I’m only telling you what I see in front of me. Who would ever call you Julian. Anyway you are the PA to the MD. Who hires a man for that job? But no problem if you prefer me to call you Julian. Are you telling me that you swing both ways and you have a girlfriend.’

‘I’m a man and I was the Managing Director until recently.’

‘Pull the other one. I know a hot babe when I see one and if you want a night out some time I’d be happy to show you the sights.’

‘What sights? There are no sights around here.’

‘You probably aren’t looking in the right places. I think you’d be surprised and very impressed.’

If he was trying it on, I wasn’t interested. If he was just a womaniser, then he needed prescription glasses. Either way I didn’t want to see him so I decided to ask Sally for her help. When I called to explain she just giggled. ‘Don’t take any notice and don’t hide or he’ll make sure he chases you until he gets you cornered. A few girls have been out with him and his priority was to get inside their knickers.’

‘Well nothing doing here then. He surely doesn’t think I’m a woman.’

‘Why not? A little make-up and a sway of your hips and he’d be like putty in your hands.’

‘Very funny. I think he needs his eyes testing. Will you deal with him when he comes and say I had to go out on an errand for Emily.’

‘I will of course. But he might take that as a signal that you prefer to play the bait in a chase.’

‘I’ll not let him get chance to get within a mile of me. I need to change these trousers and my image if he is so easily confused. I’m not anybody’s bait.’

Sally did as she promised and met with him, so he didn’t hang around for long. He tried to call me, but I blocked his call.

I was relieved that Emily had asked me to visit her apartment to meet the maintenance staff and ensure they understood her problems with her bathroom. I took her car and nervously drove so that I didn’t cause any damage it. It was a top of the range Mercedes car and clearly Emily was ranked much higher than both George and I had been. I relaxed and enjoyed the experience and soon arrived at her apartment building. It was high end and as I entered the car park the security guard waved me through the barrier and I parked in a visitor bay.
‘Hello miss I am expecting you so you can use the door over there to the lifts. Julie isn’t it?’

I just smiled and nodded and took the keys and security fob from my bag. I might as well accept that I looked more female than male to some people and go with the flow. I found her apartment. The maintenance men were already inside and seemed busy. I introduced myself as Emily’s PA and again they assumed I was female and so I was treated as if I knew nothing. I asked if they’d identified the problem and could correct it and they shook their heads and sighed as if they were having difficulty.
‘It looks like a big job and we might not have the parts young miss. We might have to buy parts and come back tomorrow.’
‘Please try your best. My boss pays a lot for this apartment and she says that this sort of problem shouldn’t happen.’
‘Well if she is an expert then she is welcome to come and tell us the solution.’
‘Sorry I didn’t mean it like that. She just expects you to be the best and most experienced maintenance staff around and to carry spares.’
‘Well dear we aren’t cheap but we are the best around. This is an old building that was refurbished, and we would have done some things differently. You can’t beat experience. Tell you what. If you pop to McDonalds and buy us two Big Mac meals with large coffees it might just speed things along. It’s on the corner less than 5 minutes walk from here.’
So bribery was the answer and I decided that it was worth the expense so that Emily would be happy. I was having a hard time being accepted as male in this outfit and when I looked in the mirror I could see why. I decided I might as well tidy my hair and reposition my pony tail higher on my head. In for a penny in for a pound as they say.

When I got back to work I reported that everything would be working when Emily got home that brought a smile and a nod of approval. I made some fresh coffee then drank mine sitting at my desk whilst I called Sally. She said that I’d been missed and that Matt was disappointed that I wasn’t available. Too true I wasn’t. She told him that I was engaged to be married and that I was not interested to meet him. I asked her why she didn’t just confirm my true identity that would have killed any relationship in its tracks. She just smiled and said she thought it would teach him a lesson. If he ignored her and approached me and kept chasing he would be shocked and too embarrassed to show is face again.

‘How does that help me? Surely he can tell I’m a man?’

‘Well who knows? I think his brains are between his legs and you turn him on. Not a surprise really. If you had boobs most people would take you as female. You are much too pretty in the face to be a man. I’d love to see you when you dress to go out.’

‘Sally, I appreciate your support and friendship but please don’t go there. It’s a difficult enough time for me as it is.’

‘Just saying. Please don’t take offence but I can see the change in you since the pressures of being our leader have gone. You look much more relaxed, and it shows mostly in your face. It’s soft and you have beautiful eyes. You must have good genes.’

I didn’t have chance to respond or to continue as Emily interrupted. She wanted me to call Jack Henshaw to her office for a chat about Rao’s job. He was one of the 3 production guys responsible for the technology and product development. I got through to him and he sounded a little peeved to have to break off in the middle of something. They were locked in Emily’s office for over an hour only breaking for a few minutes when I made a fresh pot of coffee and took it in. Jack was never a big fan of mine since he was a man’s man and I expected he’d have even less respect for Emily. From the stern look on their faces I expected they’d argued. I hoped he didn’t resign and walk out. He was a big asset.

Voices were raised as I closed the office door behind me. That carried on for at least 30 minutes and then the door opened and he left her office shaking his head without even acknowledging me. Under his breath I heard him say ‘She doesn’t understand. F’ing idiot.’
After a few minutes I went in to clear the cups and Emily was on the phone. She smiled so I detected she’d had a successful meeting. She was talking to someone important since she paused whilst I was in the room.

She was too busy to go back in to talk to her for the rest of the afternoon and she just sent me a message confirming she would pick me up at 8am the following morning and to be ready. She said that Melanie would join us so somehow, she had got to her that was a surprise.

It was my opportunity to leave on time and I popped my head around her door to say goodnight. She was on the phone so she just waved. I headed directly to Marks & Spencer to buy my new jacket and hoped it would fit and look professional. I didn’t like the idea of being dressed semi casual whilst both Emily and Melanie would be in their business suits. I wasn’t looking forward to meeting Rao either having lost my status in the Company. He would be grinning from ear to ear for sure.

I headed to the lady’s department and found a server who checked that the jackets had been set aside. She looked me up and down as if she wasn’t sure whether I was in the right department or not and asked for my name. Ah Ms Cole. Julie is it?

‘It’s actually Julian Cole and it’s Mr.’

‘Oh sorry are you buying this for your wife or your girlfriend? I thought they wanted to try both jackets to decide which fits.’

‘The jacket is for me. It’s just that I need it to look smart and match my outfit and I’m not very muscular, so men’s jackets tend to bury me. These jackets look like men’s jackets.’

‘Yes sir they do except they are cut to suit a woman’s body shape and they are narrower across the shoulders and cut in at the waist. Really, they have room for a bust which you don’t appear to have so best to try the smaller size. You are quite slender for a man if you don’t mind me saying and wider across the hip than I’d expect.’

The jacket fitted perfectly, and it matched my trousers so it was half way towards a business suit. I admired the image in the mirror.
‘If you don’t mind me saying sir I think it would look even better with a white shirt or blouse than it does with your t shirt. Do you have one at home or would you like me to show you the difference a good shirt makes. Are you wearing the outfit for work or for somewhere special?’

’It’s for business meetings.’

‘Enough said then the shirt would be better.’

She produced one from a rack that I put on in the changing room and she followed me in. Thank goodness the shop was quiet. It wasn’t my first visit into the ladies’ changing rooms so I wasn’t nervous but this time it was a purchase without the need for any pretence. She had selected a fitted shirt and I was delighted with how it looked even though she tried to persuade me to wear a bra to improve the fit still further. The shirt did make my outfit more professional like a business suit I was used to wearing, so I decided I’d take it. If Emily objected, I’d insist it was necessary because of the importance of the meeting and especially with this client.

I headed home satisfied with my purchases and called for a takeout from Deliveroo to save me cooking anything since I’d hardly eaten all day. I took a quick shower before it was due for delivery and popped on a pair of fresh panties and some lounge pants with a crop top and let my hair down and brushed it out. It was my normal casual outfit at home and the delivery guys were used to this look. I liked to feel I could relax as a young woman would do and I lay on the sofa and reflected on my day. The new dress code enabled me to be a little more feminine without causing offence and I was already comfortable working for Emily as her PA. She was quite nice to me if I behaved in a feminine way and dressed in the uniform. So far, so good.

After my meal I tidied up and pressed my new shirt and my trousers before trying them on again. I decided to wear some knee-high stockings and a pair of my stiletto heels that were perfect with the trousers. I’d happily wear those if I had half a chance that was not possible.

The shirt looked good with the trousers and was better outside rather than tucked in. I liked the cut of the jacket that fitted me better than any of the jackets in my wardrobe. Since both shirt and jacket were designed to accommodate breasts I decided to put on a bra under my shirt to see the effect of my inserts. I loved the image in the mirror. I Would love to go to the office like this and work as a female but it was impossible. I wanted to see the reaction of Emily and Sally, even without make-up, that might be for another day.

I changed back into my leisure clothes and watched tv for a while with my legs curled underneath me and my hair down thinking about the changes that were taking place in my life and what my family and colleagues would think of me. Then there was the meeting with Rao. I was trying to decide how to introduce Emily and Melanie and to explain my new role and was fearful of Rao’s reaction. In his culture women weren’t treated with much respect and certainly would find it difficult to be in charge of a company the size of hours. His son had similar traits but was a nicer personality. I might not get a word in anyway if Rao was true to form. I eventually went to bed around 10-30 pm and just crashed.

I was awake at 6-30 am before my alarm sounded and I showered quickly and got dressed. I spent quite a bit of time on my hair before being resigned to putting it into my usual ponytail tucked into my shirt collar. I couldn’t wear a t shirt underneath my shirt because it didn’t look right so I opted for a camisole which didn’t show, and it felt nice.

At 7-30 my doorbell rang. It was Melanie and Emily was waiting outside in the car. I picked up my computer bag that had my laptop inside and put in my wallet-purse since even my jacket has limited pocket space.

‘You look nice Jules, but I hope Emily is happy about you wearing a shirt instead of the company top.’

‘It didn’t seem appropriate to turn up with a casual outfit, so I bought the Shirt and jacket last night.’

‘It looks fine but they are feminine style aren’t they so if you are comfortable then why not?’

‘What made you want to attend the meeting? You know what Rao is like. Emily will have her hands full. He’s a shark.’

‘Well, he is a customer and the quicker I get out and about and build up my contacts list the better. I need to show Emily that I’m the right person for this job. She’s had more faith in me than you had. I’ll prove it to you too and let’s see what you think about working with limited opportunities to be promoted like we’ve had.’
I said nothing and we went to the car where Emily was waiting.
Melanie opened the rear door for me just to ensure she was sitting alongside Emily and I was less important. Emily turned to speak and asked if everything was set up with Rao and that he was definitely attending the meeting because otherwise she wouldn’t waste her time. I hadn’t had anything back to say otherwise so said yes and nodded.

‘Good because I asked Henshaw to go their first thing this morning to check they were using the production line and earning revenue. He boasted how well connected he is and he developed the controls and did all the commissioning. He boasted how good it was and that he could view what was happening remotely and didn’t need to visit. But I won that argument. He needs to learn who is in charge.’

She set off on the journey that would take us about 2 hours if the roads were clear without delays due to roadworks. None were planned so we arrived in good time. We just had time to visit a local Starbucks for a coffee and a chat and Emily said to let her do all the talking. She smiled at me as we walked in and said I looked nice and I had made a good decision. I think Melanie was surprised.

‘I don’t want to arrive early so Rao can keep is waiting so we’ll sign in exactly at 11-45. An hour should be long enough time to do what we need to do.’

Rao sent his secretary to meet us and escort us to his office that had a massive old oak boardroom table and leather chairs. He was presenting himself as a big businessman and when we entered he looked me up and down and grinned. He could see that Emily was in charge but he ignored her and the same with Melanie.

‘Now then ladies what brings you here today? Is it a social call? We’ve already had a visit by Jack Henshaw who has checked that everything is working as specified.’

Emily responded. ‘Yes I sent him because you shouldn’t be using the plant since it’s not paid for and I was surprised it was handed over.’

‘We made the progress payments and you have a Parent Company Guarantee from our head office in New Delhi. What’s the problem?’

I was shocked by Emilys aggressive response. ‘That’s a worthless piece of paper as you know and if we try to take you to court in India we’ll be backwards and forwards for 5 years at least and still get nothing. I’m not here to pussy about I want your money transfer to our bank this afternoon.’

‘Just like that? Who do you think you are? I don’t deal with women and where is George Garside?’

‘He is retired for now. You took advantage of him and Jules. They trusted you but I don’t and now I’m in charge so you deal with me.’

‘Well you might as well leave now then. I’m the customer and you are the supplier so let’s get that straight. You are wet behind the ears.’

Before he had chance his secretary interrupted the meeting and said he had an urgent call. He looked angry as he slammed down his phone.

‘My production line has stopped and my Manager says Henshaw fiddled with something when he was here earlier. I’ve lost a whole mornings output that is useless so you’ll be paying for that. I have a big contract to deliver.’

‘Well Mr Rao I had a serious meeting with Jack Henshaw yesterday and told him that he should not have handed the plant over unless he had permission from George or Julian. He seems to have had a very close contact with you and your son and took his decisions himself. I wonder how he funded the purchase of a new BMW and has booked a cruise around the Indian Ocean? Would you know anything about that?’

‘I know nothing about your employees and where they get their money. That’s your business not mine.’

‘Yes it is my business and I have a new Financial Controller with good contacts at the banks. It seems he had some large transfers from overseas around the time your job was being installed. So I confronted him. Make your mind up about the next steps. If you transfer everything that is owed to us plus some compensation, then you can use the plant and Jack will start it remotely. If you misbehave again, you’ll be reported and we’ll take legal action.
I’ll watch for your message on my phone on the way back. I won’t say it’s been a pleasure doing business with you but I’m sure you’ll make a lot of money with this equipment. You are in England now not India so take care.

‘That’s it with your company. This is blackmail.’

‘Yes but you should know better. You could go to prison. Your Indian lawyers can’t help you much in the UK. Judges don’t get bribed.’

We upped and left. Melanie was speechless and so was I.
‘Did Jack really admit to being bribed?’
‘Not exactly but it was clear to me that he had got involved above his head. We don’t do that sort of thing do we?’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 8

Emily didn’t want us hanging around the car park and she wanted to get back to the office before 4 pm so she could meet with Jack Henshaw before he left for the day. She stopped at the first services for fuel and so we could have a snack and a drink. We needed to use the restrooms after our snacks that weren’t very appetising and whilst Melanie and Emily headed one-way, I headed to the men’s. I was stopped by a large muscular guy who didn’t speak he just pointed me to the ladies. I was so embarrassed I just froze and for a moment I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t rude but he clearly waited until I did as he said. It wasn’t as if I had much choice since I was bursting.

Emily and Melanie had already disappeared, so I followed them. They were hardly likely to make a scene or complain and I just hoped it was quiet. I looked straight ahead and headed for an empty cubicle. Only 2 were engaged so at least it was just the three of us. I sat and waited listening to Melanie and Emily chatter, but it was just simple girl-talk and nothing work related. As I heard them leave I opened the door to check myself in the mirror and wash my hands. A young woman entered but didn’t look in my direction, so I dried my hands and headed for the door. I hoped Emily and Melanie wouldn’t see me leave and they were across the hallway still chatting.

Emily spoke as I joined them. ‘You took a while is everything OK? You look a bit flustered.’

‘I’m embarrassed. I just got stopped going into the gents by a large brute of a man who pointed me to the ladies. He probably knew I was a man but he looked at me as if I was some sort of pervert.’
‘Well it’s not like it was busy and you didn’t meet anybody in there did you? I doubt anybody would take much notice you since we all respect each other’s privacy. You do look more like a businesswoman than a man so no harm done.’

Melanie chipped in ‘Yes and with your bag on your shoulder I can understand the confusion. It wouldn’t bother me as long as you were there to use the facilities. I guess you are used to passing for female in public.’

Bitch! I decided not to react, and we headed to the car. Emily decided that Melanie should drive and we would sit in the back so Emily could dictate some notes for me to type up and make a few calls. Melanie like the cat that got the cream as she looked at me in the drivers mirror with a big smile on her face. It was no big deal to me but it did remind me that I needed to get hold of her car so I could visit mum and dad. I’d neglected them but the only upside was that neither would know much about it.

‘Come on Jules please come back to earth. Let’s get started so do you have your notebook to hand please.’ Was this deliberate to put me in my place? Was anything that urgent?

I produced my notepad from my bag and she acknowledged my readiness and smiled at me. ‘I think you are doing really well Jules. I am pleased that I decided to give you this opportunity.’
‘Thank you. I’m trying my best but it’s not easy.’ Melanie was almost ready to burst out giggling. I could see her looking at me in the mirror.
‘ I had a feeling I could bring out your feminine as soon as we met. You are very androgenous and people are sure to hesitate when they first meet you. You seem at ease and quite calm despite being challenged. Maybe I should allow you to wear this outfit style every day since it suits your figure and it does emphasise your femininity. You’ll fit in better as we change working practices.’

‘Thanks I just didn’t want to let you down today in front of Rao. I can’t believe how easily you put him in such a difficult position. I would never had guessed he had bribed one of our key staff so he could cheat us out of millions.’

‘Maybe you were too nice for the job Jules. You see the good in people and you are very trusting. I checked Rao through contacts from my uncle and he has swindled a few people over the years. In his culture it is much more accepted than in ours, so he has no qualms about his behaviour. I just asked myself how he was able to take ownership without paying and how he had avoided being struck off as a Company Director. I think all three production guys let you down. I’ll be dealing with that in the next few days but please keep this to yourselves.’

I was quite capable of confidentiality, but I wasn’t confident that Melanie would do the same. She was still immature even though she was talented and doing very well. I guessed that it was going to be a test so hopefully she’d understand her new responsibilities and take care.
The next hour seemed to flash by. I called Jack Henshaw and told him that Emily wanted to meet him in her office at 4-30pm then Emily rattled off several letters to directors and senior staff. I did my best to keep up with her as she dictated and had little experience to call on. I didn’t have much chance to think about what she was dictating but it seemed that she was outlining her strategy and action plan to turn the business around. From what I understood she was saying I was surprised how much she had grasped about our business in such a short time. She did ask my opinion on a few things, but I was caught out with little to contribute so she just carried on. I was being very careful not to appear to disagree and I didn’t want to be critical given my circumstances. Jack had been a bit rude when he took my call, so it was a good job we weren’t on loudspeaker. He wasn’t very respectful to me either and even though I tried to keep my phone close to my mouth so his voice couldn’t be heard I sensed Emily picked up on it.

Emily was expecting Rao to respond before we arrived back at the office so she checked her e-mails and messages regularly. I sensed that despite her confidence she was still nervous and I really hoped that her strategy worked. I knew it would give everybody at work a big boost even if it was proof that she was the right choice to take over from George and I. She was so confident in herself. I wanted to say something and to reach out and hold her hand but I resisted.

As we arrived at the office to park the car Emily had one last look at her phone. ‘Yes. He’s sent a message to say the money will be in our account tomorrow and he will send the proof within half an hour. He asked for his plant to be started so they could set up production for tomorrow. He can sweat a bit. I need to see Jack Henshaw first.’

My first job was to make a pot of fresh coffee for Emily whilst she freshened up in her en-suite toilet. I poured one for her and admired how she looked so cool and relaxed as she sat behind her desk. She was beautiful and she knew that men found her very attractive and were distracted.

‘Jules what are you doing tonight? Anything planned?’

‘Well I’m picking up my car I hope and I had thought of popping to see my parents.’

‘OK that’s a priority. I was going to invite you to dinner so we could have a proper chat about the business and my expectations. I think it’s better if we talk away from the office where we won’t get interrupted.’

‘But you have a meeting with Jack Henshaw. I don’t have to go tonight so it depends on you really. You’re the boss.’

‘Well if you don’t mind postponing your visit I’d really like to buy you dinner. You’ve taken the changes in your stride without causing me any trouble.’

I couldn’t miss up this chance to protect my future earnings so I quickly decided it was the right thing to accept the invite. ‘Do you want me to make a reservation somewhere? What sort of time do you think?’

‘Lets say 7pm and I’ll leave the choice of venue to you. Somewhere quiet would be nice that serves good food. I think we deserve a nice dinner.’

‘Do you want anybody else to join us? Anything you don’t like?’

‘It will just be the two of us. I like most things so you choose. You don’t need to worry about the price it’s my treat.’

I’d never been much of a socialiser as Julian and dinner dates were mainly on business. It was always me doing the inviting, so dinner and lunch meetings were always quite formal and focused heavily on business. Not that it was a common occurrence. I did know a few good safe restaurants based on my outings as Julie with the few friends, but I couldn’t really go there with Emily for fear of being recognised. I opted for an up-market restaurant on the outskirts of the City that had a 5 star rating and secluded dining. I imagined it was the sort of place that Emily was used to visiting coming from a wealthy background. There was no problem making a reservation and I expected it was because it was midweek and expensive for the average Joe.

I let Emily know and she said I could leave early to collect my car since she was meeting with Jack Henshaw and didn’t need anything. She offered to pick me up at my apartment at 6-30 pm and before I left the office I thanked her and confirmed the venue and the time of our reservation. I made a fresh pot of coffee and placed it on a tray with cups and saucers. I would have time to shower and change as long as the car was ready.

At the garage I was met by one of the salesmen who hardly seemed old enough to be out of school. He was called Alex and he was slightly built with his hair in a pony tail as I liked to wear mine. I found out later that he was the owners son learning the ropes. Not exactly a typical car salesperson. He greeted me and sat me down in a waiting area on a low seat and for some reason I automatically cross my legs and sat forward on the seat. He offered me a drink whilst he gathered the various documents and the service record for the vehicle. He seemed to be following a strict procedure and ticking things off from his check list.

‘Are you the colleague of Melanie? I understand she was kind enough to sell it to you since she’s now got a company car. Ms Cole, isn’t it? ‘

Surely, he could tell I was a man unless I’d misheard. If he was good at his job he’d see that the documents had my name and address in black and white. Was he blind? He was much more effeminate than my first impression of him and possibly gay so maybe he just treated customers as he found them and had no prejudices. I wouldn’t say I felt offended that he mistook my gender and he made me feel completely at ease anyway. However he continued to refer to me as Ms Cole and I suppose I was slightly flattered. So I decided not to say anything to correct him and I’d met plenty of young people like him in the Gay Village on nights out who referred to their male friends with feminine pronouns.

‘I understand that Melanie has been promoted and she was really excited to tell us. Do you work for her now? She is an old friend of my sisters from school and she keeps us updated. I am so pleased for her. She says she owes it all to her boss who gave her the chance and to her new boss who promoted her.’

I didn’t feel like responding as I wanted to get home but he was trying to be nice, I just wanted to get the car and get home to think about why Emily wanted to talk outside the office and what I wanted to say.

‘We have looked after this car since she first purchased it from the garage. It is Julie Ann isn’t it despite what the paperwork says.’ So he knew all along and nothing needed to be corrected. ‘Do you mind me calling you Julie Ann? I have lots of friends who are dual sex or have changed sex and this is a nice car for a young businesswoman like you. It’s compact and it is a very reliable model. I’m sure you’ll like it.’

‘Thanks, I’m looking forward to having a car again. I’ve been lost without one these past few days and I’d forgotten what it was like to take public transport. It’s not so pleasant.’

‘No, it’s not I agree. Not that I’ve used it much of course. I drive a VW Beetle myself or take a taxi. Melanie insisted we gave it a full service and a deep clean and a polish, so it looks like new. The perfect run around for a secretary or admin assistant and it only has 15,000 miles on the clock.’

‘Do you mind if we just check the paperwork for the change of ownership before you send it off?’

‘Of course, Julie please feel free. Do you want to take it for a short spin so I can show you how everything works?’

I couldn’t believe my eyes. ‘This is wrong. You’ve filled the document in as Julie Ann Cole. That’s not legal. My name is Julian Alan Cole. I’m male not female.’

‘What? Oh, I’m so sorry. It must have been after the discussion with Melanie. We obviously misunderstood what she said. We should have checked the document with her after we filled it in. I thought we were doing her a favour since she has been super busy recently.’

I felt myself blushing and I tried to emphasise my maleness by standing legs apart but dressed as I was and with my hair loose and blowing in the breeze, I’d obviously given the wrong impression. I decided not to engage in more conversation since I just wanted the keys and to drive home as soon as possible.

The car was compact as Alex had said, but it handled very well, and I felt feminine whilst driving it home. I took a detour to test its suitability and it passed. I wasn’t sure whether I dare go back to that garage again after the misunderstanding. He didn’t even ask me for any proof of identification he was so embarrassed, and the short spin offer was not taken up. Part of me was insulted but at the same time I was enthused and slightly aroused at being mistaken for a woman on more than one occasion dressed as I was. Why hadn’t I adopted the name of Julie Ann instead of Julie when I was chatting with friends online?

I parked up and admired my new car as I locked it and took note of my new registration to notify the landlord of my apartment building. It easily fitted the space compared to my company vehicle that I’d lost so I wouldn’t have the same problems I’d had before.

Once in my apartment I checked online for messages since I’d neglected my friends since my demotion, too embarrassed and concerned that I might say something I’d regret later. I checked my phone messages and my regular e-mail account and there wasn’t anything urgent and just the dinner booking confirmation and a reminder from Emily that she’d be picking me up on time.

I decided to call Sally to tell her all about the meeting with Rao and how Emily had completely outmanoeuvred him. I was so proud of her, and Sally noticed how staff morale had improved since her arrival and taking over from George. She took care to explain that her comment wasn’t a criticism of me because she knew I was following instructions. I told her I was nervously waiting for confirmation that Rao had paid up and that Jack Henshaw had reset the controls so the plant couldn’t be operated until they had. She had heard a rumour from the workshops that Jack had been in trouble and called to Emily’s office to be sacked. I doubted that would happen until Emily was satisfied, she had a replacement on hand and she was unlikely to get much co-operation from the other 2 senior staff in the production area.

I was sure that Emily would let me know when the money was transferred and sure enough, I got a message with lots of thumbs up emojis to my phone and a well done. I hadn’t done anything, but I was getting a pat on the back. I replied with some smiley faces.

After taking a shower I looked in my wardrobe to decide on something suitable to wear for dinner. I wanted to look nice since it seemed like a celebration of sorts. There wasn’t much choice so it was either go back to jacket and slacks or my Julie wardrobe that wasn’t really an option in the circumstances. I decided to go for an androgenous look wearing my spare work trousers that were out of the womens section. I’d wear the jacket I’d been wearing for our meeting with Rao that I hoped was lucky. I so liked the fit that I had decided to buy more of the same. My male suits wouldn’t be needed whilst ever Emily was in charge. I wished I’d purchased a spare shirt because I wanted to look my best. It was too late to go out and buy another and no way was I going out in a company t-shirt. After a more detailed search I found a silk shirt I’d worn on a couple of occasions to parties that attracted a lot of positive comments. It seemed to go with the trousers and jacket. It was a colour between mauve and purple that seemed to match my complexion. I put on a bra because I was feeling a little mischievous and I felt that Emily wouldn’t make fun or reprimand me. I left out the inserts that I usually wore with a bra that was with great reluctance.

I decided to style my hair rather than put it back in a ponytail since Emily seemed to have liked it that way. Checking my face it was still smooth with just a need to trim my eyebrows a little bit that hadn’t been touched up in a while. I had always been tempted to shape them but it was too risky since this was a business dinner with Emily not a date and hard to hide to hide thin and shaped eyebrows. If only I’d had the courage to accept dates I’d been offered when I’d been out as Julie with friends. I tried a little make-up just to check what I could look like on a date but quickly removed it since I was short of time and just in case Emily arrived early.

She messaged indicating that she was on the dot, so I had a quick spay of cologne, picked up my phone and bag and headed downstairs before she picked up a parking ticket. As I opened the door and sat in the passenger seat Emily turned and smiled.

‘Mmm somebody smells nice. You look very stylish too. I’m regretting not calling home to get changed. Are you ready to celebrate? We’ve earned a nice dinner tonight after sorting old Rao out. Did you ever imagine it would be so easy?’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 9

‘Emily you were amazing today. Rao is so arrogant and bigoted. He thinks he is superior to everybody because he owns a company and has accumulated wealth. He never had any respect for me or for George Garside and even his own workforce seem to despise him. He treats them terribly. I will never forget the look on his face when you accused him of bribery’

‘Well Jules, I did enjoy it too. Some men need to be put in their place and I think he is a crook. But in truth I was just a fresh pair of eyes. I was able to stand back and consider how a customer can manage to takeover and operate our equipment without paying and ignore all requests to settle. There is usually money involved. We do seem to have 3 greedy guys in the Company who need sorting out. That’s my priority now we can’t tolerate staff stealing or being involved in bribery.’

‘I am surprised. They were always such loyal and hardworking guys.’

‘Well let’s see when I meet them. No doubt my discussion with Henshaw has been fed back to the other two. Anyway, on to better things did you sort out your car OK? Any problems?’

‘I picked it up thanks and it seems in good condition. It’s smaller than I’m used to but that’s not a bad thing. It should be more economical to run than a big car. I did have some problems with the sales guy though. The paperwork was wrong but we got it sorted.’

‘What happened? Let me know if I can help at all. I need you to be mobile since you might have errands to run from time to time.’

‘It was a stupid mistake I suppose. He filled in the transfer of ownership document as Ms Julie Ann Cole. He says they must have misheard the voicemail message. He could see I was male when I arrived.’

Emily laughed ‘ Well I suppose you do have an androgynous look. What with your long hair and pretty features.’

‘You don’t really think I look more female than male .
do you Emily?’

‘Well let’s put it this way Rao’s son couldn’t take his eyes off you today even though Melanie and I were in the room. You must have noticed surely.’

‘I did think he was behaving strangely, and it made me a bit uncomfortable. I thought he might be trying to put me off my guard.’

‘I can tell when someone is trying to make eye contact believe me. Anyway that was part of my reason for inviting you to dinner so let’s talk more later.’

For the rest of the journey, I was conscious of how I was sitting in the car and how I was behaving. Maybe I had been spending too much of my free time as Julie.’

Emily was impressed at the venue I’d selected for dinner and she hoped that the menu was as good as the ambience. She let me go first as we entered and held the door. I didn’t catch on until we were inside and we approached the maître d’hôtel. He greeted us and turned to Emily to check our reservation before inviting us to take a seat in the bar area for a pre-dinner aperitif. Emily was smiling as we looked at the drinks menu.

‘What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?’

‘Not at all. He thinks we are a couple. Is this restaurant used by the gay community?’

‘No not that I know of. It is the best place in town to eat according to some of my friends because it has a great chef. It is pricey that usually means the clients have good income and dine out regularly.’

‘I like the décor and it’s well attended but not too busy and it looks like the dining area is well spaced to give some privacy. I like it and if the food is good we may be setting up an account with them so we use it for business. I like to entertain customers and you could be tagging along sometimes if you don’t mind?’

Emily selected a non-alcoholic cocktail and I was persuaded to join her. The barman was very nice and chatted to us whilst he was preparing them. He told us how successful the restaurant had become since Henri took over as maître d’hôtel and that he’d met some interesting people, many who visited regularly. Our table in the bar was in a nice quiet position and our waiter brought the menus for us to consider whilst enjoying our aperitifs. I daren’t look at the prices on my household budget so I waited until Emily invited me to choose whatever I liked since she was paying.

The barman made a few suggestions based on customer comments and I opted for the mussels that were in season as my starter. Emily selected a smoke salmon dish that she said was a particular favourite. We chatted about items for the main course and even considered sharing a plate but eventually we decided to select Dover Sole with a side salad and new potatoes. The barman had kept looking at me since we sat down so I asked Emily if something was wrong. She said she couldn’t see anything and perhaps I ought to get used to men looking at me and take care not to make too much eye contact with them or they’d get the wrong idea.

‘Why do you say that Emily? I’m just a guy out for a meal.’

‘Well to be perfectly honest Jules I’m not surprised the garage salesman had you down as Julie Ann. You walk and talk like a woman most of the time. Just look how you are sitting right now with your legs crossed. Someone has been an influence on you and in fact we should talk about it. It’s the perfect surrounding here away from the office so I hope that you can trust me to keep our chat in confidence. You seem much more relaxed like this.’

‘Emily I haven’t deliberately adopted more feminine mannerisms. I suppose it’s the uniform that started it and my loss of seniority. I seem to be your secretary now and that’s how staff seem to view me. Maybe I should have just accepted redundancy and found another job because the longer this goes on like this the more difficult it will be to find a job as a Managing Director.’

‘I did expect some sort of resistance to the change and for you to leave and then contact a lawyer or the Industrial Tribunal people.’

‘I did think about it quite seriously and a few people were urging me to object and put in a claim. But so far I’ve had nothing to complain about. You’ve treated me quite well and showed me where George and I were going wrong.’

‘Well Jules I don’t want to lose you and I certainly don’t want to see the tribunal people involved distracting us from turning the Company around. Do you think you can trust me to help you? I think you will make a great PA and we’ll make a great team.’

‘But PA’s are usually females and they are far more capable than males at supporting their boss.’

‘Well how about I treat you as a female PA rather than an ex Managing Director becoming a novice male PA.’

‘How is that supposed to work if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘It means I can train you how to become a PA and carry out secretarial duties without expecting you to meet my high standards from day 1.’

‘But I’ve no idea what you expect of me. I wouldn’t know where to even start.’
‘You’ve started so don’t worry about it. I need your support more than anything and if you made Managing Director then you know half the jobs I’ll be looking for you to do for me.’

‘So do I have to sign anything of acceptance or prove I have qualifications? I can type and file but I’m self-taught like most people these days.’

‘Fine that is the basic part of the job. I’ll teach you how to set up my filing system and you seem to be able to keep up with me taking notes. You know what the MD job entails and you’ll be my eyes and ears and a contact point for staff and customers.’

‘Is that it then? Does that mean I don’t need to have a settling in period with an appraisal by HR?’

‘I’ll deal with that but there is one advantage of this job that I think you might like. Having seen your outfit today and recognising that most staff know about your cross dressing I don’t mind if you experiment a little with your outfits and wear a little make-up.’

‘Why would I want to do that? I might be a closet crossdresser, but it doesn’t mean I’m ready to come out to everybody. There is no way back if that happens.’

‘So, you expect to find a way back to become the MD again and maybe even the CEO?’

‘No, I didn’t really mean it like that. I meant I’m out and it is hard to recover and revert back into male mode.’

‘Well, I really think you should give it some serious thought. I need you to be happy and settled. I’m here to stay because I have a job to do. I made a promise to my uncle and I will succeed rest assured. I understand the dilemma you have more than you perhaps realise. I’ll show you something in confidence later if you like.’

‘Of course but why me. Why the promotions of female staff and exodus of experienced male staff?’
‘Men can be gentle and kind as most women are and of course lots of women are much stronger and assertive than previous generations because of equal rights. I was raised to believe in myself and that I was the equal of any man.’
‘I think you’ve already demonstrated that in just a few days. Staff have had a wake up call, especially the men. Female employees seem to have come to the fore and voiced their opinions.’
‘Jules I think you should be more confident in yourself. Your best attributes were recognised by George but he wasn’t the best leader. Your best skills are normally associated with females based on what I’ve learned from your files and since we first met. Women make good leaders too. You kept morale going even though the business struggled with cash flow.’
We were interrupted and moved to our dining table where our starter course was waiting. Emily decided we should enjoy a bottle of white wine with dinner and since neither of us were big drinkers she selected a half bottle of Prosecco to celebrate the meeting success. It was a substitute for champagne but much better in both our opinions. She made a toast.

‘Here’s to a successful partnership and a long-term relationship.’
I must have blushed, so she smiled and reached out to touch my free hand.

‘We will succeed Jules and I’m looking forward to your strong support.’

I nodded and said thank you for giving me the opportunity to stay on and keep my salary that was much appreciated in view of the considerable expense of care for my family. She smiled and said I was welcome.

We chatted all through dinner with Emily intent on keeping our chat as light as possible and away from work topics. I found myself opening up about my childhood experiences and how inferior I was to other boys of my age. At one stage I was moved to the girls sports activities with two other small boys where we could compete on an equal basis. Three girls took our places that was deeply humiliating. Several of the girls were outgrowing the three of us and even matched the stronger boys in our class. We never really lived this down and it became a regular event when we failed to meet our teachers targets. The upside was that we were made very welcome by the girls and there was no fighting or bad behaviour. It helped our grades, so our teacher felt his decision was vindicated. However, it was to have a lasting effect on me because I felt happier around girls.

Whilst chatting I looked around the dining room and whilst it wasn’t full all of the tables seemed to be occupied by women and mostly in couples. I tried not to stare but it seemed like this was either a ladies night or some sort of convention. Emily noticed too and she smiled at my expression.

‘Are you sure that this isn’t one of your regular venues although I don’t see any transgenders or crossdressers here. It’s more like I was right to assume that you’d brought me to a LBGTQ venue on a ladies night. Am I right?’

‘No honestly. I had no idea. This does seem to be totally female clientele tonight. Why didn’t he tell me when I made the reservation?’

‘Well, your voice isn’t very deep and maybe he also mistook you for Julie Ann. But it doesn’t matter does it? We haven’t been asked to leave so let’s enjoy the evening and you have my permission to let Julie Ann out.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Why not pop and put on some make up and blend in with the other diners. You can use the ladies bathroom and I have some make-up if you wish to try it. Henri didn’t challenge you and neither did the barman so I doubt anybody else will complain.’

‘Do you think I should as I feel a bit out of place like this at the moment. I do have some lipstick and my eye make up in a pouch in my bag that I carry for some reason.’

‘Well off you go and in the meantime I’ll look at the desert menu or get them to bring the desert trolley around.’

It took me a few minutes to build up my courage but Emily seemed to give me no choice. ‘Julie if you do as I suggest I’ll show you something when you get back that I mentioned earlier. Your presentation won’t worry me at all or influence me in any way. I promise.’

I stood up and nervously crossed the room towards the bathrooms. One of the waiters pointed to the door I needed and I entered and hoped it would be empty. Luckily it was so I quickly applied my eye shadow and a small amount of eye liner. I had a small tube of face cream that would have to do and a sample perfume I picked up at a make-up counter. Not expensive but it made me feel more like Julie. I removed my pony tail and brushed my hair out letting it hang loose and headed back to our table.

‘Wow Julie that’s quite a look you have now. Who would dream of challenging you now.’

‘Are you sure I don’t look like a drag artist?’

‘Not at all. That’s a very natural look. I guess you’ve had plenty of practice’

‘A bit I suppose. Only since I was 15 years old. I was encouraged by a few of my girlfriends at school and I entered competitions. So what did you offer to show me?’

‘It’s a photo. Here look and tell me who you think this might be?’

‘She is very beautiful. Is she a model?’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 33

As I approached the station entrance, I spotted Jina and as our eyes met she waved to ensure I recognised her. How could I forget her after just a few hours apart and her similarity to my boss. They both had the presence to stand out amongst a crowd with similar stature and striking hair colour. Jina let hers hang loose blowing in the slight breeze and it was hard to think she had been Emilys younger brother since she looked so gorgeous. I was pretty certain that Em could look just as striking if she let her hair fall loose and added a few highlights but she seemed a lot more focused on her job than her appearance.

Despite it being a cloudy, sultry day Jina was wearing cut away shorts and a tight fitting top displaying her perfectly formed breasts. She had fabulous shapely legs that attracted the gazes of passers-by, especially men, and I was sure she was enjoying every moment. There was no doubt that she had made the right choice to live her life as female and it showed in the wide smile across her face. We kissed and hugged each other gently as we met.

She spoke first. ‘Hi Jules you look nice today. I’m so excited that you agreed to meet so that we can have some private time together. I think you’ll enjoy the experience with my friend and my sister is going to love how you look after my friend has finished with you.’

I felt nervous and a little awkward to be dressed in feminine clothes in broad daylight on the High Street and Jina did her best to keep me calm treating me as a friend even after spending such a short time together the night before. I still had the feeling that Jina thought I was an experienced cross dresser and that she thought that Em and I were in a relationship, especially since we were staying in the company apartment together. I’d hardly had much chance to chat at length with her but she seemed to know more about me than I would have expected considering she wasn’t supposed to be in regular communication with Em. Surprisingly things hadn’t been as awkward as I anticipated between the two of them so Em’s story that she needed my support so she could be comfortable at the party seemed more of an excuse to spend a weekend with me than fact. I’d resisted showing my private life to anybody before Emily took over but she seemed to give me little choice ever since she decided to force me to carry out menial tasks and affect my confidence. It had taken a while to regain my composure and smile.

‘Isn’t it wonderful to enjoy being women and to spoil ourselves? I’ve been able to experience it full time for more than two years now and before that I just used to crossdress part-time like you are doing. I’m so looking forward to getting to know you and maybe I can help you build your confidence and consider becoming a woman as I have done. If we can meet up regularly hopefully I’ll find out what you think of my sis and she’ll let her guard down. I can already see how much she’s changed since we left home. But I wonder if she is as bossy with you as she was with me.’

I decided to be as honest as I could about the real reason I’d agreed to accompany Em. ‘Well I want to be truthful to you Jina now I’ve seen that you and Emily have come back together. I haven’t known her that long and she took the job that I’d been doing as well as the responsibilities of my boss that made me very angry at the time. But she treated me fairly and she is certainly unique. I think that she is doing an amazing job, much better than I was doing.’

‘Oh well I didn’t realise. You seem so right for each other.’

‘I admit that I was scared of her at first when she was sent to our company to re-structure it and I had other problems besides work that affected my confidence. She told me that the board felt that I was hardly qualified to do the job she was designated to do but I was older and had more experience in the industry. I had no choice but to do as instructed and she almost humiliated me by giving me a role with no power that was low level with a lot of administration duties.’

‘So you were in charge until she arrived. That must have been embarrassing?’

‘Yes I’d had a secretary to do these things she asked me to do. I realised that for some reason she was trying to help me because she actually respected my knowledge of the business so my opinion soon changed. I can now see why your uncle sent her to take charge of the business and sort out the problems. She soon stamped her authority and she seemed to identify what was wrong in the business from day one. I don’t need to worry about the consequences of my decisions anymore. I actually look forward to going to work now and already I would do anything for her.’

‘So why did you just cave in. Did the job mean you had to dress as a woman? Couldn’t you just take the role as a man.?’

‘Well you know Em far better than I do and I think she likes to be the dominant one at work and socially and she ensured that I knew who was in charge from day one. She soon found out somehow that I was a crossdresser and that I had transvestite and transgender friends and took advantage of me.’

‘It’s hard for anybody to hide that if the truth be known. We all slip up.’

‘I guess she saw that I was quite excited by her treating me like a female employee and maybe that was why she made a rule that employees should wear uniforms and it gave an excuse for them to exploit my feminine body shape because of my hips, thighs and butt. She arranged that one of my former staff to buy the uniforms and since most of our office staff are now women she selected a design to appease them and very few sets were ordered of male size. I was issued with womens trousers that unsurprisingly fitted me very comfortably.’

‘That sounds like Em. She’ll have soon had a plan to find your weak spot.’

‘Since then things just developed but I can’t complain because Em has treated me very well and I soon adapted to the role as her secretary. I found myself adopting feminine mannerisms and female colleagues treated me as one of them.’

‘That sounds encouraging. She likes to be in total control and to feminise men and if you don’t mind I hope it works out. For both of your sakes. So you aren’t in a relationship then?’

‘Not exactly. It’s no different to most bosses and their secretaries I suppose. Can you keep a secret if I tell you something in complete confidence?’

‘I have no reason to tell anyone anything you tell me whether it’s in confidence or not. So feel free to tell me anything you like.’

‘Well after we had been drinking last night I found myself in a compromising situation with Em. We’d both had more to drink than we expected and I don’t think either of us could stop ourselves and we were in the company apartment with no one else around. Things developed from nothing and in the end we slept together. It was a first for me and as wonderful as it was I doubt that Em considered it to be serious. I never slept with anybody before, male or female. It was amazing for me and I sensed that Em enjoyed herself but she didn’t say anything about it this morning. But even so,she did seem different at breakfast.’

‘Well let’s see what she thinks when my friend has worked her magic. I have a lot to thank her for so hopefully you will have the same opinion. You’ll be surprised by her skills.’

‘It sounds a bit scary. Is it going to be expensive since I’m not as well off as people think because of my commitments looking after family in care homes.’

‘Don’t worry she is a close friend and we used to work together. She owes me a lot of favours and Bennie too so there won’t be any charge’

We headed into the station to purchase underground tickets so I found out we were heading to the West End where most theatres are located and where there are lots of restaurants and bars.

‘Does your friend work in the West End? It will be quiet at this time of day won’t it?’

‘Yes and yes hence it’s a good time for her to help. She has a business there with two other people and they have a thriving business supporting several of the theatres and drag shows. They supply costumes and Fiona specialises in make-up. She is transgender and she used to work in the clubs and we met when I worked behind the bars when I first left home.’

‘But I’m sure that I’m not transgender even though I’m dressed like this and working now in a job that is usually associated with women. Until Emily came into our company I had a normal life as a man, even though I was slightly built and smaller than most of the men who reported to me. I was just a part time crossdresser and I kept a low profile and didn’t harm anybody. It was a secret I kept from even my closet colleagues at work, not that I had many friends. But I guess somebody spotted me when I was out with friends I met on the internet. ‘

‘So we all started out in the closet until we recognise that it is not illegal as long as we don’t visit female bathrooms or expose ourselves. You clearly have no problem passing and your practice crossdressing has clearly paid dividends.’

‘But this was not in my plans and it was forced upon me by your sister. Now I seem to be almost full time with no time to be myself anymore. My life is just a whirl so I haven’t even considered living as a woman it’s just sort of happened and no doubt my promise to come to your party with Emily gave her an excuse to go further. My outfits have become feminine and I’m wearing make-up and have had treatments and re-styling of my hair. I have a job that is more associated with female employees so I look and act more female at work so this look socially is the consequence. I now have to be at Emily’s beck and call and outside work I’m visiting and helping my family so it’s hard to get back control of my life.’

‘Don’t tell me that you don’t like this change because from my observations you look so comfortable and content. You seem happy enough so it doesn’t seem like you put up much of a fight.’

‘What choice did I have? It seems that Emily soon found out all about my past personal life and possibly even before she arrived to take over from George. Then she soon put me in a situation where she challenged me that was embarrassing for me. I couldn’t lie. She seems to be able to be able to read people and then extract the truth whether it’s business or personal. Once I admitted it she encouraged me to take my crossdressing experience to a new level. To start with she insisted that I wore a uniform at work then I was tricked into accepting it was gender neutral. But it wasn’t.’

‘That sounds like my sister. But believe me this look suits you. At home I could never hide my liking to dress in her clothes and I kept it secret from my parents until it became impossible for me to be the boy they wanted. It was Emily who exposed me since she found me dressed one day. It gave her the chance to become the favourite and she started to boss me around. But don’t worry about how you present here in London. It’s not something you need to hide and anyway you seem comfortable dressed as you are and you’ll fit in perfectly at my party. Wait until we get back. It’s my betting that even Em won’t recognise you and that you’ll be amazed by Fiona’s amazing skills. I am sure you’ll trust her advice and you’ll like her.’

As we travelled the underground I was aware of the number of heads that turned to stare and I hoped it was to admire Jina but for sure they seemed to include me. Jina seemed to enjoy the attention so she responded and walked rather like a model on a runway turning occasionally to smile. She could swing her hips as good as any young woman trying to catch attention. I hardly dare look anybody in the eye in case they laughed or made derogatory comments.
Luckily the underground wasn’t overly busy like it is on a weekday during rush hour, so at least we could walk quickly and we weren’t pestered or squashed like sardines. I did have one scare when a group of female passengers approached us to ask if we were on our way to a Pride event like they were. I assumed they had recognised that I was male but it turned out they were part of a group of lesbians from Brighton and they assumed Jina and I were a couple. Jina burst out laughing when I said that they looked normal and I coloured up with embarrassment. She said I’d be meeting several of their friends later who would likely as not confuse me even more so she recommended to keep an open mind and treat everybody the same whatever their appearance.
We arrived at Leicester Square without any further incidents or confrontations apart from some mild touching and the occasional suggestive comment from a group of men who were old enough to be my father and were on a weekend break with their wives who had gone shopping. They were heading to a football game of some sort and were drinking canned beers. I still felt very nervous as we left the platform and found our way up the escalators to the exit to street level. Jina was still very protective and had insisted to hold my hand squeezing it gently from time to time that helped a lot.I know I had feared the sort of touch that happened in the Crocadile Dundee film a few years ago when he was told that a woman who was at the bar was actually a man in drag.
Leicester Square itself was very busy with lots of weekend visitors and sightseer’s so luckily I didn’t have to worry about being noticed or challenged even if my masculine features stood out. Not that I needed to worry since I’d not encountered any problems so far at work, nor in any of my outings since my job had changed. I was getting paranoid I supposed because I was losing my real identity.
Luckily we didn’t have to join the throngs anyway since it was only a short walk from the station before we turned into a side street that is where Jina said that our destination was located. We soon arrived outside the shop front. It wasn’t so much a shop but more like a small theatre foyer much bigger than I expected. It was almost a Victorian style frontage so I couldn’t help feeling that it must be very expensive to lease, especially in this location. On entry we were met by Jina’s friend Fiona who was strongly built and several inches taller than both of us and a few years older.
She was very friendly towards Jina and they hugged for a while before Fiona turned her attention to me. ‘Now then who do we have here Jin, a new friend of yours who we’ve never met before. She is not local or I’d know her because she is very beautiful. Why are you both here and requiring my help. Of course whatever it is you want it will be my pleasure.’
I turned to Jina and stuttered a reply saying that I didn’t understand because I wasn’t expecting anything but that Jina asked me to accompany her to meet a friend. There was only some talk of a makeover for Jinas party later. It turned out that Fiona had arranged some assistance for the evening so would be attending for a few hours. She was in the business of supporting performers from several shows and reviews in the West End with prosthetics.
‘So you aren’t just a make-up artist then’
‘No I help with longer term make-overs that don’t need hours in make-up pre-shows and focus on transformations rather than pure drag. More subtle changes to the body rather than anything extreme. Prosthetics have come a long way in recent years. Sometimes I help transgender friends out so it helps them decide their ideal body shape for their build. For you with a small chest and narrow shoulders I think a 36C bust might be ideal. It keeps the right proportions. Although you are quite wide across the hips for a man and maybe a 38C or D is an option.’
I was almost speechless. I couldn’t wear breasts full time. I needed to retain my masculine identity even though I was being treated as female at work. Mum and Dad would be horrified if they realised what was happening to me. I was their only son with no cousins and they hoped I’d marry one day and they’d have grandchildren despite their aging decline.
‘Come on Jules don’t be scared. It’s not permanent and Em will be happy. She said as much to me last night. You’ve been accepted as female at work and just look at you today as we travelled the tube. We both fitted in with the group of girls heading to a Pride event. I’d love to have been going there and for you and Em to join me. Let Fiona do her magic. You’ll be amazed.’
Fiona reached for a display album and coaxed me to sit whilst she showed a variety of options with some very happy customers. So many variations of shape and size.
‘Come on Julie let me see you stripped to the waist and we can clean your skin and remove any traces of body hair to ensure we get a strong bond.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 10

‘Well Julia close but not close enough. She certainly would have liked to have been a model. She is pretty enough and she’s tall enough but she was much too shy and she had a disadvantage to overcome unlike most models.’

‘Is she related to you? Do you have a sister or a cousin?’

‘I had a brother growing up but he left home when I was around 8 yrs old. I really wish I’d had a sister to confide in and to spend my time with. Sometimes my brother looked after me and we played lots of games together. I loved him more than he realised and I missed him terribly. Some nights I cried myself to sleep.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry did he have an accident or something?’

‘He just disappeared, and nobody would talk about him. My mum told me that he’d had a big argument with my father that started when his grades at school dropped. It affected his prospects of going to a top university, so dad enrolled him in a private school. He hated the idea of attending a boys only school that was a boarding school, so a few nights after he was dropped off he packed a bag and ran away.’

‘But who is the girl? Is it a relation or was it someone your brother was involved with?’

‘You could say that. He was deeply involved with her, and she took over his life completely.’

‘Did he make her pregnant or something? Did they fall in love?’

‘This is my brother George in his new life as Georgia. He disappeared completely and never got in touch with us. It was strange because my father wouldn’t let us try to find him. Eventually with my uncles help we managed to get in touch. About 2 years ago he agreed to meet mum and I and we went to London and met her.’

‘So, he was living as a woman?’

‘Yes, and she seemed happy. He looks totally feminine although he hasn’t had any surgery or any hormone treatment. He has a partner, but we still haven’t been introduced. I don’t know if they are male or female, but I really don’t care as long as he is happy. I’ve missed him so much in my life. Or should I say her.’

‘How did she manage to look after herself for all these years from such a young age? It must have been very difficult for her on her own in London. Did she live on the streets?’

‘No, he wasn’t penniless when he left. He had an inheritance from our grandfather that was in his bank account and mum wouldn’t let dad interfere and try to stop his access. The bank told her he was regularly drawing funds, so it was a relief. She wanted him to be safe wherever he was and hoped he’d eventually get in touch and come home. I think dad eventually regretted being so strict although his behaviour led to big arguments, and they eventually split up. It was awful watching them fight and I felt so sad.’

I found myself feeling so sorry for Emily. For the first time I sensed some vulnerability, so I was relieved when the desert trolley arrived, and the conversation stalled. We made our selections and I then I tried to lighten the chat. ‘It must have been tough for all of you. Now I feel so honoured that you have confided in me and that you are prepared to give me a job rather than making me redundant. This photo is amazing. Beauty runs in your family I think.’

’Honestly if you were to meet her you would never suspect she was born a boy and you flatter me. She is much more beautiful than me.’ There was a softness in her face that I’d seen for the first time. Since she arrived. She looked her age and so feminine rather than the persona she adopted at work.

‘So do you keep in touch with Georgia and what about your poor mum?’

‘Mum has been in regular contact in the last three years and so have I. We had a few weekends in London together including with mums’ brother and his wife before I joined the company. He is our chairman of course. We were all determined to help although she resisted for a long time. If not, then I don’t know what would have happened. When I first met her, she told me that she had been suicidal until she found a job and kept herself busy. I would hate that to happen to you. I’m hoping she is now in a serious relationship but it’s for her to tell us rather than for us to pry.’

‘Wow that’s quite a story. I hope that doesn’t mean you think I suffer from gender dysphoria like your sister. I’m fine, honestly.’

‘Well, given what happened in my family I decided to play it safe when I was asked to step in by my uncle. He had intended that George join the company after attending university since they had no children of their own. I doubt I’d have got chance as the niece, so it made me more determined than ever to prove myself and he did change his attitude as a result.’

‘Well, you must have made him very proud and your mum too of course.’

‘I’m glad that I did find a way to retain you. Your experience is important. You are a lot older than Georgia was when she decided she was more female than male. It is so sad that she decided she had to leave home. I wish I’d been older and there wasn’t such an age gap between us. My father should have been more understanding. I miss him too for all his faults. I’m sure he now realises he was wrong to try to force her to stay as a boy, but he’s never met Georgia. I guess his rejection of George inspired me to work hard and prove to him I could be as good as any man. So, I lost a father and a brother, but I still have a loving mum and now I have a beautiful sister.’

‘It makes me feel like a fraud dressed like this. I had no idea about your background. I didn’t even know that my cross dressing was such common knowledge.’

‘I’ve told you this so that you know that you can always talk about it with me if you feel depressed or threatened. If you want to express yourself openly rather than hiding your feelings and desires, I will ensure that we introduce some company rules, so employees realise we are forward thinking. In your case I’ve given you the chance to change your role and responsibility that I feel will be to everybody’s benefit.’

‘But Emily it can’t be as simple as that. Employees know me as a man and as the Managing Director. As your PA I’m surely going to lose their respect and male employees will probably make fun or treat me cruelly.’

‘I’m not going to say this will be easy, but we will change attitudes and the company will benefit I assure you. I wish my sister had the same opportunity and didn’t feel she had to run away.’

‘So I she didn’t have a problem switching her name to Georgia since her birth name was George?’.

‘No she waited a while before she went through the official name change process. I guess you could also do an easy switch sometime to Julie Ann if you were so inclined. You should seriously consider it.’

‘So, are you saying that I should live and work as a female rather than a cross dresser?’

‘If it is how you feel then why not? We can start by letting you adjust slowly and wear more feminine clothes and make-up. I’m not saying dresses and skirts but at some point, that is an option if you so desire.’

‘But what about your rules on uniforms?’

‘You are my PA and so of course there is flexibility so you will be expected to set an example to our female staff. Of course, I’ll be helping with advice as necessary. We can’t have them not buying into the changes I’m making. We have to all stick together.’

‘I’m not sure that I can change given the prejudices or that I’ll feel comfortable but if you think this is OK, I’m willing to try. I don’t know what George Garside and the senior staff would have made of it if I’d done this with him in charge.’

‘Well Garside had his opportunities as CEO so let’s not worry about him. Let him seek new opportunities or relax and spend the compensation package.’

Emily reached across and took my hand. ‘Is it a deal?’

‘Yes of course it is.’ The touch turned into a handshake.

‘Great now shall we have a coffee or some tea perhaps and sit in the lounge?’

Our waiter escorted us to two comfortable seats on a quiet corner where we had a good view of the rest of the lounge, and we ordered coffees and relaxed. Emily had surprised me and I never expected an evening where she told me some of her personal background. She must really have trust in me yet we hardly knew each other.

‘Now then Julie since Jules is no longer here how about you tell me if you have a dream or even a bucket list. Something that you’d like to share in confidence that you’ve always held back and perhaps would tell your best friend or your sister.’

‘I don’t have a sister or a brother or any cousins for that matter. I’m the last in the line for the family and I’ve had to cover all the care home costs as well as maintaining their properties and paying household bills because their assets are greater than the limits set by the Government. My aunt and uncle rented a property all their lives and my uncle passed away a few years ago. Mum asked me to deal with the fees for my aunt as well and she’ll pay me back, but I think she is optimistic. She assumes I will inherit everything one day.’
‘I guess that is quite a burden and I’m sorry you had to change your itinerary to see them for me. What about a best friend?’

‘I don’t have a real best friend just a few girls who I go out with a few times a month. I’m not one for dreaming since I never seem to have time. Certainly, before you arrived my life was really hectic, I never got chance to sit still. You don’t know how much changing roles has helped me. I was crashing out every night so tired and there were so many things to do. I have my own domestic chores on top of everything else.’

‘Well hopefully you’ll have time to sit and dream so let me suggest something. Think what life would be like if this job was permanent and you had financial assistance as a contribution to care home costs. I’m sure we can sort that out together if you don’t mind me helping.’

‘That’s so nice of you but I hardly know you and you have enough on your plate.’

‘Well, I am your boss and I have a certain responsibility for you. I don’t have any friends around here to distract me so outside work we can be friends if you like. Just like girlfriends not anything more than that so why not think about it?’

‘Emily it would help a lot so I will say yes please.’

‘Good. Did you ever dream of going for a spa day or going shopping with a girl friend? How about this weekend since I’m all alone in a strange city?’

‘That isn’t something I’ve ever done before, so I have no idea where to go.’

‘I’m sure you’ll have time to do some research tomorrow. Perhaps Sally can help. No need to involve Melanie or Jenny. I don’t want them to feel I’m leaving them out. It’s just casual, nothing formal and no business.’

‘But what sort of spa day are you thinking about?’

‘Some pampering and a foot massage and a pedicure would be nice. Wearing heels all week for a woman can be painful on the toes and the balls of the feet. I suppose you will have some experience yourself?’

I stuttered a response and coloured up a bright scarlet. ‘A little I suppose.’

After our coffees Emily settled the bill and gave a generous tip thanking the waiter for a nice dinner. On the way-out Henri stopped us to check we’d had a good night and chatted with Emily for a while asking about our business and I was introduced as Julie Ann, her PA who she’d asked to set up a business account with them.

I was taken aback as Henri took my hand and shook it firmly. He gave me his business card and asked me to call him anytime that was convenient. I was conscious that my make-up removed any trace of maleness and I knew I’d have to carry on the illusion. Emily smiled as we walked to the car and said she was impressed with the way I took her teasing in my stride.

I thanked her for dinner and a nice evening and she dropped me off at my apartment and wished me goodnight squeezing my hand gently as I opened the car door to get out. For the first time in my adult life I felt really happy and relaxed. This woman had appeared out of the blue and within a few days she had unearthed Julie and I was on a high. I wondered if I’d be able to sleep. I watched her pull away from the apartment doorway and waved. What an amazing young woman. She wasn’t a feminist at all and she was making sensible business decisions so far and taking action.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 11
I was on a high and no way would I be able to sleep and since it wasn’t too late I messaged Sally to see if she was still up and available for a chat. Within minutes she called me back, keen to know what Emily had wanted to discuss with me. She was worried in case it was bad news. She immediately sensed that I was on a high and that I had so much to tell her that I was having difficulty getting the words out.

‘Sally she just wanted to reassure me that she fully understood my personal situation and that she wanted to help. She was so pleased to receive confirmation that Rao is paying up and she was amazing today. I can’t believe how my luck has suddenly changed and I am sure she wants me to stay with the company and to work for her using my experience. She fills me with confidence and who cares if people think I’ve been demoted. She says she wants me to carry on as her PA.’

‘I’ve never seen you so excited as this before. Something must have happened.’

‘Well she did tell me a lot about her personal life that shows her trust in me. I can’t say anything about what she said but she was also smart enough to work out that I have a feminine side and she said that is the side of me that she thinks needs to be developed because it’s why I gained respect with people and their trust.’

‘So did you tell her that occasionally you like to dress and go out as a woman?’

‘No. She found out from somebody at work and I’m sure it wasn’t you who told her.’

‘I have never said anything to anybody so unless somebody has seen you around town or is making assumptions because you are single I don’t think there is an explanation. I never heard any rumours or tittle tattle. There are plenty of gossips who would love to spend hours making up stories or spreading lies.’

‘I know but I’ve always trusted you and I never let anybody else see me dressed.’

‘So if Emily knows is she prepared to keep your secret.’

‘Not exactly. She says she thinks I should be a little more expressive at work and let staff see the other side of me without going over the top.’

‘What? She says you can cross-dress at work? ‘

‘Not exactly. She says I should let my hair down and wear a little make-up.’

‘Let your hair down? You mean sing and dance?’

‘No silly. I know you are joking. She means to dispense with the ponytail.’

‘Well just be careful Jules you have a lot to lose and nothing to gain. I don’t want to see you hurt. You were a great boss to me and I owe you a lot.’

‘Thanks Sally but I don’t think Emily is intent on doing anything except trying to help me. She has some experience with a person who struggled with gender dysphoria.’

‘But Jules you don’t have gender dysphoria just a liking for dressing as a female. I don’t think you want to live full time as a woman surely.’

‘Why not? It’s not bad is it? Of course, I haven’t had any desires to live full time but lately I’ve had pangs I must admit since I’ve taken the job as PA and had to wear a uniform.’

‘You should have objected. I think it was a deliberate trick not an accident at all. You had grounds to just walk out, and you’d have won in court.’

‘But really Sally I let it happen and I couldn’t stop myself. It’s so difficult to explain. I didn’t think anybody would notice yet I would know. It is the same feeling I’ve had every time I dress and go out except it is lasting all day.’

‘Well I admit that you do seem like a new person and it’s all credit to Emily for protecting us from unemployment and giving you the chance.’

‘But it seems like I’ve taken your job. You were my secretary.’

‘I don’t have any complaints since I have a similar role working for Melanie and with the same terms and conditions. It’s not as demanding so I have more time with my husband that he likes. I think Emily will expect a lot from you once she settles in. She is smart.’

‘Well, I’m glad that you don’t resent me accepting the job and I don’t know what I’d have done if you had fallen out with me.’

‘Well on that point I’d better go as my husband has already gone upstairs to bed and he’ll be waiting for some happy time.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you but I really appreciate the chat.’

‘One last thing Jules. How was the meal and the venue? Steve is sure to ask me since he knows it was you on the phone.’

‘Oh sorry. It was really good. Emily was impressed and the staff were so polite and efficient. She has asked me to set up an account there, so we use it with clients. She paid for everything that was a first for me. I could get used to it.’
‘Well sleep well and I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Yes and I hope Steve is keeping everything warm for you.’

‘I needn’t worry about that. He is always ready. I need to put something in his food I think to calm him down If I stay in my seat most of tomorrow, you’ll know why. Better you come to meet me I think rather than expecting me to call by your office.’

By the time I’d rung off I was feeling a lot more relaxed. I was happy for Sally because I knew they were both trying for a family and I hoped tonight was the night. I guess that was why she was happy for me to take the role of Emily’s PA. Zero chance of me ever being in that situation, but it did make me think about Emily. What if ever she became pregnant and decided to be a stay-at-home mum? No chance. She is a career woman and no sign of her being in a relationship as far as I could tell.

I hugged my pillow and had a good night’s sleep. I did dream a little but all thoughts of work and problems with staff or the business were far from my mind. I expected they were burdens that Emily was now carrying and hopefully she would cope much better than me.

I treated myself to an extra ten minutes in bed since I would be driving to the office rather than catching a bus. I felt relaxed and so I took a quick bath rather than a shower and reflected on my growing relationship with Emily. I would never have expected that I’d find a boss better than George if I’d been asked a few weeks ago. I didn’t want to let him see me like this in a secretarial role where I’d given up the responsibilities, he’d loaded upon me. I had hoped that one day I’d be joining him but right now my allegiance was clearly with Emily. How amazing was that in such a short time. I hoped I wasn’t getting infatuated by her but she seemed so special.

I thought about the encouraging comments that Emily had made over dinner and decided to wear a little make-up and style my hair rather than scrunch it up into a pony tail. I wished I had a greater selection of blouses, but I washed through the one I’d worn in the meeting with Rao and hung it to dry. I opted for a company tee shirt. It looked ok but I decided to be more adventurous and wear a lightweight bra underneath. I still wasn’t happy until I added some of my smaller size silicone inserts. They were sufficient to give the illusion of small breasts and the tee shirt now looked to be a perfect fit. Dare I? I removed them.

I had breakfast and tidied around so that my apartment looked spick and span since I was visiting mum and dad later after work. I wore the jacket I’d purchased from M&S then stopped at my door. I shouldn’t be such a coward and I should consider that Emily had encouraged me to be more adventurous, so I re-inserted them. I felt amazing. I could always remove them at work if I changed my mind.

As I walked to my car I passed two residents chatting to the car park attendant. They glanced in my direction that gave me a massive feeling of butterflies in my stomach but then they smiled. I’m sure they knew it was me. I wished I’d been brave enough to wear heel but that was for another time if today went well.

At the office it felt like I was walking the plank as I made my way along the corridor and through the entrance to our department. A few people were arriving at the same time but everybody seemed pre-occupied. Lucky me.

Emily was already in her office with the door shut so I deposited my bag and switched on my computer and knocked on her door. She invited me in and turned to look at me.
‘Well Julia you look delightful today. I hope you enjoyed our dinner together last night. I’m glad that you took my advice. How about some coffee to get the day going then you can contact the other two rascals and tell them I want to see them in my office? Go for 9-30 and 10-30 please and no excuses. I was going to ask HR to send someone to sit in but I think it would be better if that’s you and you can take notes.’

‘OK Emily who do you want first?’

Either will do. Let’s start with Ricky Robinson. He seems to be the cocky one who sneered a lot during my presentation. I think the other one follows his lead. That’s Bill Whittaker isn’t it?’

‘Yes he’s the older one and he trained the other two.’

‘So I enjoyed last night. It was a good choice so well done. I never expected to find such a venue here close to our workplace. It was high quality at a fair price with good service and plenty of privacy. You did drop on a good night though. I hope you weren’t too embarrassed. Still we blended in quite well don’t you think.’

‘Yes I’m sorry about that but it was a surprise to me. I’ve never heard anybody talk about it and I suppose most people in our company prefer lower cost and less salubrious surroundings. You were very kind to pay. Will you let me pay my half of the bill at least.’

‘No it was my treat. We needed to chill out and I’m glad you were able to join me. I appreciate you changing things around, so I expect you’ll visit your family tonight after work?’

‘Yes. I am looking forward to seeing them although I’ll have to go early before they get ready for bed. Neither mum or my dad are able to understand too much about what’s going on. It’s so sad to see. My aunt is pretty much in the same condition.’

‘Well don’t forget my request to go shopping together and to book a spa day if this fits. I don’t want to distract you again from visiting.’

‘I will be happy to join you since I find weekends do drag. I’ve nothing arranged and I will be pleased to accompany you although I’m nervous about going to a spa. Do they have mixed sessions?’

‘I’ll leave that to you to investigate. I never thought about it before to be honest. I’ve usually gone with a group of girlfriends.’

I sorted out Emilys coffee and then called Ricky Robinson. He was on his breakfast break so he wasn’t very happy to be interrupted and he let me know about it. ‘ What does madam want then? I’m a busy man. Some of us have work to do unlike you and madam. She’s taken Georges job so who took yours? Seem like you don’t need to be replaced as you had a nothing job like most of that lot up there.’

‘Well Ricky I think it’s best if you attend as requested. Emily is the new CEO and she wants a face to face meeting with you.’

‘I’ll see if I can re-schedule a test and just tell her she is costing the Company a lot of money.’

I so wanted to say something rude back to him and I felt he showed no respect at all. I was pretty sure he knew what was coming and no doubt Jack Henshaw had updated him on the previous day’s events.

When I rang Bill Whittaker he was much calmer and more respectful. He was polite and clearly very nervous since he had a lot more to lose than the other two. He asked if I was alright and apologised for not saying something to me and thanking me for my past support. I would be surprised if he had done anything illegal or been involved in back handers. He had always been a reliable worker, but it seemed like his two colleagues had let him down.

At 9-25 am Ricky turned up at my desk. I was surprised he was on time but he wasn’t any more polite than he’d been on the phone.

‘Is this you sucking up to madam. Has she got you dressing like a woman and behaving like one already? She better not try with me. This is a man’s industry and she better realise that the company is only as good as the key people in the workshops who are the real brains. Are you gay or something? We need George back in charge. She hasn’t a clue about the business. Who does she think she is? Let her go run a fashion company or a supermarket chain. If she wants a fight, then she’ll get one from me. I don’t need this job so she’d better take care or I’m off. I can walk into a job anywhere with my track record.’
I didn’t think his attitude would get him far enough to even sit down never mind exchange opinions. He had never behaved like this before. I concluded he had been in cahoots with Jack Henshaw and was scared he was in trouble. I called HR who were late and they said they were just preparing something for the meeting and would be joining us shortly.

I knocked on Emilys door and we went into her office. She never looked up and so we stood waiting for her to finish what she was doing.

After what seemed an age, she spoke. ‘Mr Robinson there is no need for me to delay you so no need for you to sit down. You have a choice to make. You can leave the premises immediately of your own accord or you can be escorted by our security staff. You have taken advantage of the trust of the company management, and we don’t want anything to do with you anymore.’

‘You can’t do that. This company is built around people like me who have the expertise and the skills to give customers what they want.’

‘Yes that’s true. The trouble is that they are supposed to pay the company not you.’

‘Are you accusing me of something? I worked hard to develop the equipment we supply and make it work. It’s my skill that customers appreciate, and they come back for more.’
‘I think you should go home and think about what you just said. You are an employee like we are and we all work for the company and its shareholders.’
‘Look you need me so best you retract your threat and I’ll head back to my office and get back to work. Just call George Garside if you want to know my value. My team are called the Invincibles. Nobody can beat us.’

‘Well every team has a weak link and we just found the main flaw in the Invincibles team.’ T

‘Jack Henshaw told me you were trouble and that you have accused him of taking bribes. If you are accusing me of the same thing, then you’d better put it in writing or say it in front of witnesses.’

‘Julian is here as a witness. Ah here is Ms Latimer from HR who I believe you know. Yes we are certain that you have both been receiving gifts and other benefits in kind from our customers. Once we have conducted a full investigation then you will be hearing from us through the Company solicitor. In the meantime, here is a letter of confirmation that you are immediately suspended without pay until further notice. Now is it to be with a security escort to the door or with Ms Latimer’

He left with Ms Latimer.

‘Now then Julia will you quickly type up your notes recording the meeting for our records. HR can send a copy to him. Next step is what to do about Bill Whittaker? I don’t think he has been involved but we still need to interview him. We are going to need him to advise us who he has trained as back up to these two rogues.’

I went to my desk and typed as fast as I could and just about finished when Bill Whittaker arrived. He was ten minutes early. He looked at me somewhat surprised I suppose to see me in Sally’s old seat typing away with my head down.

‘Oh Julian I thought it was a new secretary. You look different. Are you OK?’

‘Yes I’m fine thanks Bill. Other than my new job I haven’t changed.’

‘But you look so different and I thought it was a.. Sorry I don’t mean to be offensive but you do look different.’

‘It’s OK Bill but be prepared to give some honest answers in your meeting with Ms. Waterton. She likes honesty and you have nothing to gain by staying quiet.’

‘OK. I have no idea what is happening around here and we have just kept our heads down in the workshop. Nobody tells us anything.’

‘Well Emily will no doubt be making some announcements in due course and she is shaking things up a bit. It seems much worse than it is and things will quickly settle down I’m sure.’
Ms Latimer arrived and shook Bills hand. He’d never met her before since she’d only been with the company a few months. I’d actually recruited her so my situation was a little awkward to say the least.

I knocked on Emilys door and we were invited in and sat down. Bill looked nervous and stuttered a good morning.’

Emily sat up straight in her chair. ‘ Now then Bill, or is it William? Thanks for coming to see me.’
He responded and said everyone calls him Bill except his wife.

Emily explained that she understood that he was one of the three key managers in production who developed and installed the company products and production lines that he acknowledged.

‘Bill I’m going to get straight to the point there has been some serious misbehaviour going on involving equipment we have supplied and I want to know if you were part of it?’

‘I’m sorry Ms Waterton but I’ve no idea what you are talking about. I’ve been too busy sorting out design faults and modifying control systems to ensure we meet the specifications and meet our profit margins to get involved with politics or anything else.’

‘I understand you were responsible for training Jack Henshaw and Ricky Robinson. Is that right?’

‘Yes I was as Julian here knows. They were both good at their jobs and learned quickly.’

‘So how do you feel about them Bill? Have they achieved the success you expected?’

‘Not really. They seem to have changed and in particular Ricky became difficult to manage so I relied on Jack. I had too much to sort out. I don’t think either of them understood that they were given chances that others would have liked.’

‘So were they close?’

‘Yes too close and I suspect that they were doing things on the side to line their own pockets.’

‘So did you think about telling anybody about your concerns?’

‘I did. I told George Garside but then the next thing I knew he was gone. After that I just kept my head down like most people. He was a good guy.’

‘Shouldn’t you have told Julian? Why George?’

‘I’ve known George a long time, he hired me and Julian rarely came into the workshops or to site like George used to do. It was a sensitive subject.’

‘Mo doubt George can verify this?’

‘I have no doubts at all. He is straight as a dye like most of us who work here. Two bad apples don’t spoil the crop’

‘So you have no problem working for me then?’

‘Not if you have the courage to sort these two out and believe me.’

‘Well Bill I’m pleased to hear your honesty and you’ll be glad to know that action has already been taken. I don’t tolerate collusion or people cheating the company and fellow employees. Now tell me if I give you the responsibly of finding replacements will you take that task?’

‘We already have suitable candidates but I’m not sure you’ll approve them.’

‘Why wouldn’t I approve them? If you’ve trained them and recommend them I’d be a fool to ignore you.’

‘Well Ms Waterton the problem is that both are male and as I understand you prefer to adjust the gender balance in the company. We don’t have any women down on the tools.’

Emily just laughed. ‘Bill I admire your directness but you are wrong. I’ve a responsibility to shareholders and I’ve replaced ineffective staff with fresh talent. I don’t have any prejudice and hopefully that message will soon get across.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 12

Bill seemed a lot more confident as he left and he smiled as he looked me in the eye. I was pleased for him and hoped Emily was satisfied that he was an honest employee.

Ms Latimer seemed to want to get back to report to her manager so she excused herself leaving Emily and I alone.

‘Well Julia we haven’t exactly followed procedure this morning but don’t worry I have the full support of my uncle. He put me in touch with a friend of his who is a private investigator. It is pretty clear these two have been milking the company and both have had some sizeable chunks of money in their bank accounts and had gifts of holidays’

‘Surely a private investigator can’t access people private bank accounts.’

‘I can only guess they are in the same lodge and it’s amazing what these people can find out.’

‘You mean these groups still operate?’
‘I wouldn’t know for sure since they are male dominated and I’m not likely to ever get invited to join.’

‘So how to prove it? Our solicitor, Louise Roberts, will need evidence and she can’t join the lodge either.’

‘I’ve already spoken to her and I told her everything the private investigator unearthed. She recommended to confront them face to face and let them take action against the company since it opens the door to a police investigation and charges against them and the customers who were involved.’

‘But what if they decide to just accept that they are suspended and stay silent?’

‘Without pay? Is that likely?’

‘We can get on with the business and we know the companies involved so we’ll focus on how best to deal with them when Pamela Parkinson joins us as CFO. She likes a challenge. I want you to meet her before she starts and also to set up a meeting with Louise tomorrow at her office.’

I left Emily making some urgent calls and was asked to make some coffee for both of us. I called in to see Sally on the way as I’d promised, and she seemed really calm and relaxed. She had a broad smile on her face and she winked. I knew that Steve had done his duty and she had had a good time. She said that she liked my new look that I’d completely forgotten all about having been occupied all morning in the meetings. I knew by her face that she’d had a late night and as she told me she felt that she needed to remain at her desk and stay as still as possible. Whether this was for comfort or to maximise the chance of pregnancy I didn’t have a clue. I hoped it was the latter since both would make great parents. She asked if I wouldn’t mind filling her cup on the way back to my office and I agreed with pleasure. I’d miss her if she did get pregnant but then I’d be sure to visit her and keep her as a friend whatever.

In the coffee room a number of girls had gathered since it was coffee break time. They went quiet as I entered but then carried on chatting. I seemed to be accepted as an equal rather than as their former boss as MD. I knew all of them by name and they were all dressed in the company uniform that looked smart but they didn’t seem happy to be wearing trousers rather than individual fashion outfits. Dianne Browne stepped forward who was now a secretary to Jenny who Emily had promoted.

‘Julian you look nice today. The outfit suits you but can’t you persuade Emily to relax the rules as the weather is turning. We much prefer lightweight skirts and dresses and we don’t want to suffer like the men do through the summer. You must have influence.’

All I could say was that I’d do my best but they felt that the rule change was more to do with my integrating rather than anything else so they were being punished unfairly.

I was happy with my outfit but I did agree that it was unfair. Maybe Emily didn’t think I could be persuaded to make the step to full female attire. I thought I was being stupid and over-thinking so I left and headed back. Sally was grateful for the top up and I wasn’t sure if Emily would stop talking long enough to take a sip. I’d removed a few cold cups in the short time I’d been her PA.

I took a walk to M&S at lunchtime to buy a sandwich for Emily and whilst I was in the store I had time to buy two more of the shirt/blouses I’d worn to the meeting with Rao. I looked at myself in the mirrors and I was definitely looking more feminine with make-up and with my hair down. The bra and inserts helped a lot. I was totally at ease in the womens department so took some time to look at the displays.

The afternoon soon passed and Emily agreed that I could leave early to visit my parents. I freshened up in her private bathroom with her permission and she wished me luck. I was glad to arrive at the care home early for a change and found mum and dad in the lounge area waiting for their early evening meal that was more like a late afternoon tea that we had when I was growing up.

I was a bit shocked when I approached mum because she didn’t recognise me at all..’Who are you? Where is Julian? I don’t want you to feed me. Julian does it.’

‘Mum, it’s me Julian. Don’t you recognise me? Come on let me sit with you a while and we’ll have something to eat soon. I’m early.’

‘I’m waiting for Julian so don’t come near me. I don’t want you to feed me. I’m fed up of nurses fussing over me and bossing me about. I’d rather feed myself. Go away.’
‘Mum it’s me don’t you recognise my voice. Look at me. I’m your son.’

‘Look young lady please go away. I want to go home and Julian is going to take me when he gets here. He promised. Where is dad. We will all go together.’

‘Mum come on just drink some tea and have a biscuit and I’ll go and find Julian for you. I promise. Just stay calm. He’s around here somewhere.’

It broke my heart and tears were running down my face as I made for the closest bathroom that was the ladies. I washed my face and dried it as best I could remove all traces of lipstick and make-up. I tied my hair back and removed my bra and the inserts. I looked more like myself and hopefully now mum would calm down. Luckily nobody came into the bathroom, and I left without anybody challenging me.

‘Ah Julian. Hug me please. I’ve been waiting all day. I need to come home. Please take me. I don’t know anybody, and a new girl just tried to tell me she would feed me my dinner. I want dinner at home. Where is dad? Can’t we all go together.

‘Mum we can’t. These people are looking after you until you are better since I’m at work all day.’

‘But who was that lady? I never met her before.’

‘Come on mum drink your tea and we’ll go meet dad in the dining room and see what’s for dinner. Maybe she was one of the care workers who will look after you when you go home so try to be nice to her.’

‘But I want you to look after me. Not a stranger.’

‘Mum just give her chance please. Everybody here is very nice, I’m sure she’s very nice. ‘

I managed to get mum to eat some of her soup and soon after my aunt joined us but they were like strangers that brought tears to my eyes. Aunt Maureen was much worse than mum and she didn’t recognise anybody. It was so sad to see my family deteriorating in front of me. I so wished I’d had brothers and sisters or cousins to talk with and help me to share the pain. How to decide what’s best for the three of them? It made me wonder if they’d been exposed to something earlier in their lives that contributed to the onset of dementia. I managed to get a little more sense out of dad who at least recognised me. It was like they’d become my children. I supposed that one day I might be in the same condition but who would visit me? I had no relationships and doubted I’d ever be married with a family.

I stayed for an hour or so but mum never stopped talking about the woman who had visited her and she eventually asked the supervisor who came to check on us. She had no idea what mum was so agitated about since she’d not been around when I arrived. I just said that mum was confused but she didn’t seem convinced. I decided it was probably safer to ensure that I didn’t make the same mistake again. I couldn’t risk causing a scene so whilst Emily was encouraging me to explore my feminine side I had to hold back and accept it would cause a problem if I didn’t take care.

As I left I called at the office to see the supervisor who had been talking to us as she requested. She introduced herself even though her name, Moira, was clearly displayed on her badge on her uniform asked me to sit down for a few minutes and explain again why mum had been so upset. I repeated that she had been confused and that nobody else had visited just me.
‘What about your sister or cousin? Could they have visited?’

‘I don’t have any siblings or cousins I’m afraid. Mum calmed down and I’m sure she’ll be fine.’
Then she insisted to show me a video clip of me arriving and walking from my car to the main lobby entrance.
‘Well, who is this then Julian? Would you perhaps like to explain?’
I had no choice but to admit that it was me. I walked in with small steps, and I did look more female than male. There was a short close-up of me with my hair down and my make-up was clearly visible.
‘Problem solved then Julian this is why your mum was confused. It is quite clear that this is how you presented when you arrived, and you have the same outfit. I don’t think it’s your twin, is it?’
‘No, it’s not it’s me. That’s how I dress for the office. We all wear uniforms.’
‘But I thought you were the managing director so surely nobody is insisting you dress like this.’
‘No, they aren’t. I’ve changed my job at work. We have a new CEO and the role of managing director is defunct now. I’m her PA to help her settle in.’
‘How strange. Anyway, that’s none of my business and neither is the way you dress as long as it doesn’t cause upset. It’s difficult enough keeping patients calm and your family have been well behaved to date. Do you intend dressing like this in a more feminine outfit for future visits? If so we need to convince your mum that this, is you and not a stranger. I can’t insist and neither can I ban you from visiting.’
‘Well, it might be difficult to convince mum that she saw the same person so I decided that it’s best for me to visit as I’ve always done. It’s not a problem.’

‘OK I’m glad to hear that. But you did look very nice as you arrived so it would be a shame if it caused a problem. We do have 2 nurses who are transgender, so I’m used to dealing with the issues they have from time to time. If I can help you anytime here is my card. Thanks for the explanation and if you need a place to change when you visit in future that can be arranged.’

I thanked her and left and at least she didn’t appear to be making an issue out of it. I supposed her offer was genuine and she’d seemed very nice.’

‘Back home I took off my shoes and sat down for a while to reflect on the day. I had a small bottle of wine in the fridge, so I poured myself a glass and checked my e-mails and messages. Then I searched on my computer for a spa that might be suitable for Emily and I and luckily, I found a nice hotel about 20 miles away that offered spa days that looked nice. They had special offers, at weekends so I made a reservation for a pamper day on Sunday for the two of us. The pamper day experience included massages, facial, manicure and pedicure and use of the hot tubs and swimming pool. It didn’t say anything about segregation on male and female guests, so I just took it as read. Lunch and drinks were provided.

I made myself a snack and took a shower before watching some tv until my eyes started to close. The news headlines were depressing so I’d switched channels to watch First Dates that was a programme about people meeting up for a first date with the programme staff selecting compatible people from the list of applicants. I’d never really dated so I realised that I wasn’t unique after all and if push came to shove, I could always write in and see what happened. Only one of the pairings seemed to work out and 3 pairs had no connection and just said goodnight after the meal. It seemed like the programme used two restaurants, one in London and the other in Manchester.

The next day at work went much as planned. Emily asked me to set up two customer meetings from the short list of good customers I’d produced and then to prepare for the meeting with Louise Roberts in the afternoon. I did seem to be surrounded by women in everything I was doing since Emily arrived but having said that Louise was a very proficient lawyer who I’d had dealings with over the phone on a number of occasions.

When Louise arrived, I went down to reception to collect her. She looked me up and down and didn’t say anything, but she did at least smile before shaking my hand.

‘Julie I’m sorry but I thought you were the Managing Director, and your name was Julian. I feel so embarrassed.’

‘No don’t apologise my name is Julian and we spoke several times when I was indeed the MD. Since Emily Waterton took over from George as CEO, I’ve taken up the position of her PA.’
‘That’s a surprise Julian. I have talked with Emily, but she told me that she was a director working in confidence for the Company Chairman and she showed me a letter of authorisation. I’d have assumed that she was your PA since she is younger than you. I thought you were being groomed to take over as CEO.

‘I can’t complain since Emily has been very fair to me and she seems very street wise and confident in her ability. It rubs off.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 13

As we took the lift to our floor, I felt Louise looking me up and down and I tried to look away but it was impossible in such a confined space.
‘Well Julian, I must say you have totally shocked me today. Is that why Emily switched the meeting to her office, so you don’t leave the building and meet strangers with your more feminine look?’
‘Sort of I suppose but she was short on time, and she just came over a long conference call with our Chairman and two group directors. She is very good at managing her time and far better than I ever was.’

‘Well Julian, is that how you like to be called because it seems strange, I think you were always prompt in our meetings and well prepared so don’t underestimate yourself.’

‘Thanks that’s kind of you to say so but I do have weaknesses and I’m trying my best to deal with them. Emily seems very capable and soon got on top of things. It’s been amazing watching her in action.’

We arrived and walked through to Emily’s office, and I knocked, and we entered. After the introductions I made some tea and joined both at the meeting table.’
Emily thanked Louise for coming to her office and that she had about an hour if that was ok with her. Then she explained about the situation with Rao’s company and what had happened in the 3 meetings earlier. She didn’t think that Bill was involved in any corruption or misdemeanours, but she’d be keeping an eye on him. I was asked for my opinion, and I agreed without hesitation.

‘Well Emily I think we took the right course of action to put these two on the back foot. In some ways I hope they do involve lawyers and try to claim unfair dismissal, but I don’t suppose you want a fuss and the press getting involved. They don’t always tell the whole truth and usually they put a spin on things and take the side of the employee with the company as the big bad wolf.’

‘Well, we don’t want any publicity if we can help it because I have no doubt Rao’s company is not the only one who they have persuaded to pay for their services.’

‘Certainly, that seems to be the case from the PI report, but we need more concrete evidence. If we take them to court, they may get scared and admit to their crimes. This is serious business and not a case of suspending them and just smacking their hands. It could unearth who else might have been involved so you have a choice to make. How far do you want this to go? It’s no problem for us either way.’

‘I’ve spoken to our chairman and he is determined to get to the bottom of this and expose all their crimes.’
‘Well, it might not look good for Julian here or indeed for your former CEO. He is under suspicion and I’m certain that he is involved. What about you Julian? You were under suspicion along with the 2 staff who have been suspended but neither I or Emily believe that you were even though you needed money. Can you confirm that we were right to discount you from this gang?’

I was speechless for a few minutes. I worked hard for the company and I never did anything wrong in my whole life. Mum would have put me over her knee and stopped my pocket money for a month. She was a devout Christian and I went to church with her every Sunday. ‘Look please believe me Louise I never stole a thing in my whole life. I daren’t ever do anything wrong or break the law. Mum and Dad taught me to be grateful with what I had and to respect others. Please believe me.’

Emily chipped in before I broke out in tears. ‘Jules, I made my own judgement about you before I offered you the job as my PA. You are the sweetest and kindest person I’ve met in a long time and I could tell how shocked you were when I confronted Rao and then Jack Henshaw and Ricky Robinson. I like to think that I’m a good judge of character.’

‘Thank you, Emily, it’s a big relief. I can’t afford to lose my job let alone go to jail. I have 3 people depending on me.’

‘Well, there is another person under suspicion and maybe you can help by helping us checking them out.’

‘But I’m not a private detective and I guess that I’m too trusting. I find it difficult to believe that George Garside did anything wrong. He was always kind to me and he was my mentor.’

‘Yes, Jules you were too close to him and I have a feeling he was taking advantage.’

‘So are you going to report him to the police or threaten him or something.’

Louise spoke up. ‘Jules it would be good if we had a little more concrete proof and all we have is a big black hole where lots of money disappeared. We are talking hundreds of thousands of pounds or even a few millions. The financial reports don’t stack up and I don’t know how the company auditors missed it.’
‘But I was involved in the audits along with the financial staff. Sure, we had some bad debts and a lot of people owed us money but everything was signed off.’

Emily responded. ‘Yes but somebody did a good job of convincing them that bad debts were temporary and the money would be received. Some of the audit staff were changed and a lot of the ones checking numbers were young and inexperienced.’

‘How come you trust me with all this information?’

‘That’s Emily’s judgement not mine. She has convinced me to trust you and we have a task for you to carry out if you want to really prove your innocence beyond all reasonable doubt.’

‘I am not sure because this seems too much for me to absorb at the moment. What does it involve?’
Emily responded. ‘Let’s do a conference call with Pamela Parkinson first. She wants to update us on her findings. Are you OK with that Louise?’
Louise nodded her agreement and had apparently already met with Pamela and Emily so there was no need for introductions other than with me. Emily confirmed that I was the former MD who was now her PA and that I was settling into my new role but still had a lot to learn. She smiled at me as she said it and said she was happy with my progress and that she was confident my experience would be of great benefit. It seemed that they’d discussed my role together before Emily took up her role. Pamela wasn’t even an employee at that stage, yet he was involved in deciding my future.

Pamela gave an update. ‘Well Emily I’ve been able to find out some interesting information through my contacts. It all needs confirmation, before any action is taken that is the difficulty. It confirms the Chairmans suspicions were correct, and I think that we should keep the pressure on.’

‘So, you mean that George Garside is involved?’

‘Yes, almost 100% certain. He has 2 offshore companies in the Cayman Islands so financial information is limited, and I’ve tried to find out what I can from contacts at the Inland Revenue. No luck so far though other than they know he has a substantial US Dollar account that he has had for at least 10 years as well as a Euro account. His companies seem to have links to three UK companies that are registered in the name of Jack Garside. who I believe to be his son, but I’m not sure yet. He is the main shareholder and there are two other directors listed both of whom own some shares.’

‘So have you evidence to prove they have received orders and been paid for jobs that have no inventory and yet were delivered?’

‘Yes. Just to let you know that one of the other directors is related to Andrew Frobisher, my predecessor as Financial Director. His daughter according to my contacts.’

I was speechless and I found this hard to believe. I was sure that this couldn’t be right. Suddenly, I felt sick and dizzy, and I had to grip hold of Emily’s desk. All the colour must have drained from my face because Emily jumped out of her seat and came around to hold onto me. I gripped her arm feeling as if I was going to faint. Pamela gave me a glass of water to sip and then Emily insisted I lay down on the floor and she lifted my legs and rested them on my chair. I felt so stupid and weak.

‘Just take a few minutes and don’t fret. It just seems like a panic attack but there is no need rush back up. Take a few minutes and then sit up gently and sip your water.’

I was terrified because it now appeared like I was involved in the fraud and had panicked. As I sat staring ahead Emily held my hand and smiled to try to reassure me.’

‘I’m sorry Emily. I don’t know what came over me. It was the shock of hearing what was going on behind my back and that George might be involved.’

I was helped back into my chair and since the colour returned to my cheeks, I insisted that the meeting continued to avoid it taking place without my attendance.’

I sat quietly whilst the discussion continued, and Louise explained that it might be difficult to access information about the company In Cayman Islands and that George and his son were involved in the UK companies. No accusations were made against me that seemed strange.

As I recovered my composure I intervened. ‘George doesn’t have a son. He has a daughter so it can’t be true.’

Pamela seemed to take exception to her information being challenged and came back sharply ‘Are you sure because my contact sent me some information about Jack Garside, and he lived at the same address as George until a few years ago. My contact doesn’t make mistakes.’

‘George doesn’t have a son he has a daughter. However, she left home because she declared she was gay. I have seen her and now she dresses as a man. She is FTM so maybe that’s the confusion.’

Louise quickly cut in ‘What’s FTM if you don’t mind my ignorance? Is it a qualification?’

Emily knew so she explained it was an abbreviation for a person who decided to become male rather than her birth gender. ‘Oh I see. Have you met her. Sorry I mean him.’

‘Yes, before she started living full time as a man. He moved into his own place in Manchester away from home, but George managed to overcome his embarrassment and helped him as much as he could. Jack was born as Jacqueline Janice Garside, and she preferred the big city life and she liked the club scene there.’

‘You refer to her as he so does that mean her change in identity was recent?’

‘About a year ago as I recall. She dressed as a man for about 3 years and that’s when I met her at a club in Manchester which I visited with friends. George would never talk about her unless pressed so when I met her, she asked me not to say anything. She had a girlfriend at the time who owned the club.’

Penelope interjected. ‘So, about eighteen months ago is when the UK companies were first registered. Definitely it is Jack Garside in the documents I’ve seen. Je is male with a passport photo, and he has a beard. But we can’t use these documents as they are unofficial from a friend who would get into a lot of trouble.’

Louise then said this was useful information that we could work on and said that this was where I could help. ‘How about you try to meet her to catch up and have a chat about his dad and your concerns about his future. Maybe she still uses the same club. You could also meet George Garside to see if he’ll let something slip. He was fond of you as I understand.’

’Not exactly fond but he was a good friend as well as my boss. I’m OK to try to find Jack that she even used a school from what she told me. I met her when I was dressed and we had a few drinks and a long talk about gender related topics.

‘It would really help if you can confirm she was female when the UK companies were first registered. She must have changed her personal documents. Did she have a sex change?’

‘No as far as I know she just took hormones and her characteristics and she told me that her voice soon changed. I thought she was male when we were introduced and she actually asked me to dance. She had facial hair and her arms were tattooed and quite hairy and muscular. We had a few dances together whilst we were chatting.’

‘So do you think you can find out if she runs these companies and if they actually produce anything? They do have a website that I can share with you if you wish.
Emily asked for everything to be sent to her to keep me clear of any trouble and she suggested she go with me to the club if I could persuade Jack to meet me there.

‘But Emily this isn’t your scene and you’d stick out like a sore thumb.’

‘Let me worry about that Jules. I realise that it’s a gay club and it won’t be the first time I’ve been to one. I attended a girls college and we went to all types of club when we had chance. Lots of the girls preferred female company or gay men. Besides I trust you and I want to be certain nobody accuses you of being involved with Garside & Co.’

Louise seemed satisfied that we weren’t doing anything wrong and she had already drafted legal letters to be sent to each individual and a draft of what we would say to the police.

Emily wanted to know a little more about the venue. ‘So this club is frequented by a lot of the LGBT community in Manchester and Jack Garside is still a regular visitor?’
‘As far as I know. I would have dated her until I realised she was Georges former daughter.’

‘So do you have his contact details?’
‘Yes I have his mobile number and I’ve an idea where he lives.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 14

Louise took note of the number and suggested I ring it whilst we were present so they could listen in. It rang out for a while and I was just about to terminate the call when it was picked up.

‘Jack Garside.’

‘Hi Jack this is Julian Cole speaking. I used to work for your father and we met once if you remember. We exchanged numbers but a lot has happened since then as you probably know and I’m calling because I’m really worried about your father.’

‘Hi Jules of course I remember you and I’m sure that dad is fine but thanks for your concern. I can see it’s you even though you sound a bit different because your name came up on my phone. It’s a pity we couldn’t keep in touch because you were very beautiful that night. I got into trouble with my girlfriend for spending too much time with you and dancing with you. As I recall you were uncomfortable at first, but you were fine when the slow dances started. I suppose we did spend a lot of time chatting, so no wonder Rachel was jealous.’

Luckily Emily and Louise couldn’t hear what Jack was saying to me and I tried my best not to blush or give anything away about my social life. I hardly recognised Jacks voice that was very masculine and much deeper than when we’d met.

‘I am surprised you haven’t been in contact or met up with dad yet. I know he thought a lot about you. There isn’t anything wrong is there?’

‘Nothing to be worried about I hope but maybe we can chat and you can put my mind at rest. It’s quite sensitive. He hasn’t been in contact with me at all and he indicated he had a job lined up and there might be an opportunity for me. He promised to keep in touch and a few things have happened recently at work. I need to get out but I’ve not pestered him in case things weren’t working out as he hoped.’

‘He’s fine I assure you. I guess he doesn’t want to put you in an awkward position until he gets to the end of the 6 months paid leave as he has to sit on his hands.’

‘So, I’m better not to worry or contact him then?’

‘Yes, just be patient for now and I’ll have a word with him for you. But it might be helpful if you can share what’s been happening since he left. You can explain to me if you like in case anybody is keeping an eye on you.’

‘That would help a lot so is there any chance we could meet up sometime? I’m sure I’m expected to leave this place to work for your dad so it’s uncomfortable and his replacement is shaking things up and looking under stones to find reasons why we were struggling for cash.’

Emily looked at me and waved her finger to stop me saying too much but I needed to convince Jack to meet me and that I was on the same side as George and I had information to share. It seemed to be working because Jack responded positively.

‘OK but we need to be careful and I think the Gay Village is as good as anywhere, down Canal Street. I could meet you down there dressed like you were before so we blend in although I look a bit different now with this hair all over my body due to the hormones. I’m less like a butch lesbian that pleases Rachel and she encouraged me to grow a beard in case you don’t recognise me.’

‘You could sent me a photo if you wish although I think I’ll recognise you even if you were wearing a Santa Claus outfit.’

‘I hope not. This has cost me a fortune and I’ve bulked up a bit at the gym. They never question me although I have to wear a packer.’

‘What about your breasts? Do you bind them?’

‘Used to but I had top surgery 6 months ago and the scars are hidden with a chest tatoo. I feel fitter than I’ve ever been. Dad is finally accepting me as the son he always wanted but mum is none too pleased. No grandchildren to pamper.’

Emily was indicating that I was doing a good job to gain Jacks confidence so she put her thumb up. Louise seemed to be recording the call. My end at least.

‘Well Jules the meeting might work for you dressed as you like to blend in but I have a girlfriend and she does get quite jealous if I get too close to people.’

‘Well I could bring a friend if that helps. Maybe have dinner the four of us or just drinks at a bar or at a club.’

‘That might work. I think Rachel will be OK if a meal is involved and she knows how close you were with dad. We can always get them talking whilst you and I catch up. I’m sure dad will agree it’s better for us to meet together rather than you two meet up. He’s taking special care to keep a low profile.’

‘That’s great so when is convenient and where should we meet. I haven’t been down to your part of Manchester in a while with my friends. Certainly, since I got a new boss.’

‘A friend of ours has a nice restaurant and bar that is a few minutes from here. Tuesday nights are nice and quiet so we could have something to eat and then a few drinks. Does your friend know much about what went on or your business?’

‘No she is just a friend I met when clubbing. Nothing too serious. Not yet at least. She is a bit younger than me and she is quite attractive so Rachel might be distracted and happy to chat to her. Her name is Charlie.’

‘Does she approve of your passion then?’

‘Well, we met on the dance floor and she could tell straight away. She is very smart and moved here from London, so she doesn’t know many people or anything about what I do for a living.’
‘So, she is gay and doesn’t mind that you have extra bits?’

‘Yes, but you were attracted weren’t you? She just came out of a relationship.’

‘So, you are on the bounce?’

I looked at Louise and Emily and they indicated I should wind up the chat. ‘Sort of. Anyway, Jack I’m at work and I have to go now so how about next Tuesday?’

‘OK I’ll check and confirm and give you the name of the bar and a time. You’ll like it and hopefully so will your girlfriend. See you Tuesday. I’ll see dad over the weekend to update him.’

We finished the call and it was a relief.

‘Well done Jules. That went better we expected. He like you I think.’

‘Yes so hopefully we will meet next Tuesday for something to eat and a few drinks.’

‘So I gather and I’m your lesbian girlfriend am I?’

‘Well it seemed the only way to get him to meet so he can bring his girlfriend. I’ve never met her but she is quite a business woman so you should get on very well. You wanted to be there and it’s easier for him if it’s a foursome.’

‘Yes it’s OK I can be your escort and try to distract her. Best to try to avoid suspicion and I can play the part. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve chatted up a girl. I’ll be interested to see how you handle yourself.’

We finished the meeting and I left Emily and Louise to chat and wrap up. Now Emily was going to see the other side of me that I had always hidden away from anybody at work. I didn’t feel as nervous as I would have done 2 weeks earlier since Emily was aware of my out of work divertissements that were innocent as far as she was concerned.

I googled the gay and LGBT clubs and bars in Manchester to look for the one owned by Jack’s girlfriend or her family. I’d probably had too many drinks when I’d visited and just followed my friends. It had good reports and was popular with the lesbian community. It looked like it had good décor and seemed easy to find. There were a few other bar/restaurants close by all convenient to Canal Street that I’d visited several times with friends. I wondered if it was Jack who had financed the purchase of the club and put it in his girlfriend’s name. I recalled his girlfriend was still quite young and her family didn’t seem to be particularly wealthy as far as I was aware. Unless of course they had won the lottery. I was glad that I’d left the meeting venue up to Jack who would know the best places. I just hoped that Emily wouldn’t feel too embarrassed to visit the gay part of Manchester but the good thing was that nothing seemed to phase her.

The rest of the day wasn’t too exciting since Emily was locked in her office and busy on the phone most of the time. She did pop out to confirm our arrangements for the weekend and said that she would drive and pick me up both days. Better to be spoiled in her executive car and use company fuel. My company vehicle was much lower standard and even George didn’t drive such an expensive model. Then again, she had been hired to sort out the company and the Chairman was her uncle. In any case for the low mileage, I did the income tax would have been horrendous and I had been satisfied with the car that I’d had to give up to Melanie Baxter. She wouldn’t have been used to funding the inland revenue as much as some of us have been and it reminded me, I should notify them that this perk had been retracted.

Saturday was planned for a shopping trip and Emily called for me at 9-30am so we could beat the rush. I didn’t particularly need anything because I was being quite frugal with my budget due to the costs of supporting my parents and my aunt. Emily seemed to have other ideas and she seemed quite excited, and she insisted that she was going to treat me and help me choose the best style that suited me. I had two wardrobes of clothes that I funded but in truth some outfits were looking more worn than I liked.

After a breakfast snack we headed to the level where some of the better designer label shops were located and I wished I had the money to spend on such luxuries and more important some occasion to wear them. I watched with interest as Emily quickly scrutinised items on some of the racks and passed some of them to me to carry.
‘Come on Julie I need your assistance please. Can you carry these?’

‘But I can’t go with you Emily we are on the ladies’ floor and these are female changing rooms.’

‘Come on spoilsport don’t be such a chicken. We are spending and you can easily pass for female. You should have planned ahead and put on some make-up and styled your hair. If you are worried we can come back later and try a few things for you to wear and first we can get you more in character at a hair salon and call at a make-up counter.’

‘But I can’t. Please just let me carry a few things and I’m quite happy just watching.’

‘Julie, I didn’t bring you here to mope about feeling jealous and wishing you had the opportunity to spend, spend, spend. I’m treating you this weekend because you deserve spoiling for all the things you do for your family and the way you’ve accepted the change in your role.’

‘But that is wrong. You aren’t responsible for what’s happened. It’s down to me.’

‘I think you’ve been used Julie because of your kind nature. I still don’t think you can believe that people you respected have cheated the company and let you down and the shareholders down.’

‘But I am here to help you and I don’t need anything. It is so embarrassing. I can’t accept your kindness. It’s not right.’

‘Well put it this way I’ve been appointed to sort things out and I need your help. The least I can do is help you in return. It’s not a gift it’s a reward. Also I have a deep interest in understanding how you feel and I want to understand what my brother has gone through and how I can build bridges between him and our family. We let him down. I may need your help soon. A lot of families get destroyed when these things happen. I want you two to meet soon and just take it that I’m being selfish by sponsoring you for a while. Sometimes opportunities come along and when we first met and I watched you accept the injustice that occurred it made me think a lot. You have given me a path forward whether you understand or not. Two paths really.’
‘OK I’m sorry to hear about your family problems and I have no idea how I can help but whatever you think might help I’ll do my best.’

‘So let’s leave these with the assistant and go get you sorted out. It will answer you concerns about tomorrows pamper day if I’m right. I want you to experience a nice massage and a facial and you will find that a lot of stress is released and you’ll wonder why you never did it before.’

‘OK but I’m paying you back for all of this so please let me pay my share.’

‘Look Julie if it’s so important to you then I’ll keep a tab and consider it. However whilst I can’t guarantee anything I think we’ll be paying you a nice bonus.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 15

Emily grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me to the escalator, and we went down to the beauty and cosmetics floor. We headed towards a hair and beauty salon called Renaissance that looked expensive and occupied at least 2 units.
‘Emily this is too much. It looks like it’s going to be by appointment only and it’s a Saturday, so it’s bound to be full.’
‘Come on don’t be so pessimistic We can try at least.’
I let Emily lead the way and a smartly dressed lady stepped forward to greet us and asked if we had any appointments. She looked through her appointment book shaking her head and so Emily took her to one side, and they whispered together. The lady disappeared into the salon.
‘We’re in luck. She has a young trainee who is keen to gain experience and I agreed that she could practice on you with the owner supervising. Needs must so I said yes and offered to pay extra.’
‘What? She might make a mess of my hair and my hairdresser will go ballistic when I go for my next appointment.’

‘It’s not just your hair she will throw in a few extras that is a test if her skills for Cindy, the owner. She is confident that Jillian will do a good job. She was a star pupil at training college and she is ready to have her own clients. So you are very lucky. It is the only way to queue jump and you’ll be fine.’

‘I’m not sure about this Emily. It seems so sudden. Can’t we walk around the Mall a while and discuss this?’

‘No Julie I don’t think we’ll get the chance if we delay a decision and it’s time for you to let your true self have some fun. Trust me but most of all relax because other than me nobody knows you here. They must have lots of clients who enjoy their feminine side like you.’

I relented and calmed down. It was true that we were unlikely to meet anybody who knew me, and I was unlikely to visit again on my own. I looked up and smiled at Emily as Jillian came out to meet us. She escorted us to a spare chair where I was seated facing the large mirror. She introduced herself properly and thanked me for trusting her and said she was a little nervous but very excited. Emily cut in and said that we had full confidence and to take her time because we weren’t in a hurry. She said that I was her best friend and that this was a special treat, and we weren’t going to a function, so a daytime look was fine. She was going to have a coffee in the mall and make a few calls whilst I was in the chair, and she’d come back in an hour or so or when I messaged her. It felt like I was in a dentist’s chair so I almost reached out to ask her to stay but she just smiled and said to trust Jillian and follow her advice.

Jillian chatted away telling me that she’d always been interested in hair styling and make-up right from her early schooldays and that she used to get sent home from school for breaking school rules because of her heavy make-up. Her mother never chastised her and let her experiment actively encouraging her since she was always glamourous as an ex-model. Looking into her face I could see how expert she was with her own make-up, and she had beautiful blonde hair with streaks. That gave me confidence but what was I thinking? I hadn’t come out for a make-over just to go out shopping with my boss who was a stranger in the area.

Jillian was so excited to be getting the chance to prove she had the skills to her boss, and I couldn’t move. I seemed to be frozen or even glued to the chair, nervous and tongue-tied. Part of me wanted to enjoy the experience and the other part felt I needed to escape and go home.

Jillian caught my attention again by producing a styling book showing lots of models with several hair style options and a variety of colouring. She explained which she thought were best for each model and which she’d have recommended if asked.
‘Jillian please we don’t have much time and these all look expensive, and they are not suitable for me. I only came in because my boss wanted me to have a tidy up. You do know I’m a man, don’t you?’

‘So what. I was born a boy too but who says looking nice is exclusive rights of people born in female bodies? We have equal rights.’

I was speechless. No way was I looking at a boy in the mirror. Jillian was all girl. I tried to smile as I looked in her eyes and stuttered a few words telling her that she was very beautiful and an asset to the salon. I guess she must have inherited her mother’s looks.

‘So, are we going to make some decisions then or do you want to pack up my things and leave? I’m not going to do anything that can’t be reversed if you don’t like it. Trust me please.’

I felt a little ashamed of myself, so I just nodded my agreement. ‘OK then. I do trust you so I’m sorry if I offended you in any way.’

She sprung immediately into action before I changed my mind. She quickly suggested several style options for my hair that she felt would better suit the shape of my face and said the ponytail I’d been wearing for I don’t know how long was not good for keeping my hair in the best condition. She also recommended that she shape my brows a little since it would emphasise my femininity for those in any doubt. I was dumbstruck but inwardly excited to see the results, so I nodded my agreement. I didn’t really say yes I just nodded. Then she pointed to a photo of a model in her book.
‘See this style here. Your hair is long enough, or I if I’m wrong, I could add a few extensions to give it more body if you prefer a l longer style. Short, face-framing layers work really well for most hair types, and they are such an easy way to add movement and keep your hairstyle interesting,”
She moved my head around fluffing up my hair. ‘For a modern take on the style, we could do layers that shape the face instead of flip into it. This cut is especially great for people with thick hair like you who need a manageable shorter style for work, though it also works well on thinner hair types as well since it adds loads of volume.’ I had no idea what she was talking about.

‘But it looks totally feminine, and I must think about the reaction of my family and people at work. This is a beautiful model in the book, so she is bound to look good.’

‘In my opinion and that of thousands of others it’s amazing what a hairstyle and make-up can do for a woman. Men miss out. I assure you that you have the features to carry this off. It’s my professional opinion. So? Am I good to go Miss Julie?’

‘I suppose so.’

She smiled and covered me in a waterproof apron guiding me over to a sink where I could lay back whilst she shampooed and condition my hair. She gently massaged my head, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her strong fingers. Soft music was playing in the background, and I almost drifted off to sleep. The products had a beautiful aroma unlike my Wash & Go lotion, and she gently dried my hair before wrapping it in a towel.

‘Your hair is in a pretty good condition considering you never had any treatment and not too many split ends. It won’t take long so I’ll just tidy up your eyebrows whilst it dries a little. I don’t want to use a blow drier. You have nice long eye lashes. Do you use eye liner to emphasise them?’

‘Not really. I have done when I’ve been out with friends, but I could never do that during the week when I’m working.’

‘Well, if I applied a little would emphasise your eyes.’

‘I think we are visiting a make-up counter later, so I don’t know what Emily has planned for me.’

‘Well, here is a card for my friend who is not far from here. Her name is Sarah Jane. She is one of us.’

I was taken aback a little when she said ‘one of us’ but Jillian just carried on as if everything was normal and I wasn’t trying to hide my feminine side.

I heard Emily’s voice as Jillian was applying the finishing touches to my hair. It hadn’t taken long even though she’d added a few hair extensions. Looking in the mirror I saw Emily approach us and then a broad smile appeared on her face.

‘Wow looking good. Well done, Jillian.’

‘Emily this is a shock to me. I can’t wear this style out and about and especially not to the office. I’m a man and this is a woman’s style.’

‘It looks the perfect style for my PA Julie. I promise not to reprimand you. Anyway, we have the whole weekend for you to get used to it and it will be helpful tomorrow and if we find the right outfits you will not be refused entry. On Tuesday I’m sure this look is going to attract Jacks attention and reduce the risk of any suspicion about your motives for a meeting. It’s sure to get back to George as well that will confuse him a bit if he meets you as I hope.’

‘So do you think it’s OK to keep it in this style after today?’

‘Of course, I have no reservations at all. My brother crossed the bridge without difficulties so why not you? This young lady has an amazing career ahead of her don’t you agree.’

‘Yes, she is very talented and very nice too.’

‘Come on then let’s go to the next place to finish your look.’

‘Jillian has recommended a friend of hers.’

‘Oh good. Perhaps she’ll call her and introduce us and ensure we can fit her schedule.’

Jillian made the call and confirmed we could go straight around whilst it was quiet. Emily went over to Cindy to thank her for her support, and she paid the bill leaving a large tip. ‘Come back anytime please. It has been nice meeting you and I’d like the chance to hear how your new look went down.’

On the way to the make-up counter, I explained to Emily that Jillian was a boy living as a girl. ‘Nothing surprises me these days Julie. I must admit I would never have guessed.’

The make-up counter was in a central counter on the main corridor of the mall and there was nowhere to hide with passers-by free to look on. I hesitated but Emily pushed me forward and we introduced ourselves.

‘Hello Julie. It seems like Jillian has done a great job with your hair so let’s finish the model look. Are you open to ideas or is there a particular look you are aiming for? Are you going somewhere special or just going on a date.’

Nervously I responded. ‘Nothing special. We are girlfriends just chilling out and doing some shopping over the weekend then heading over to Harrogate for a spa day tomorrow.’

‘Oh nice. Nothing too heavy then that will spoil. Are you just looking for ideas to go with your new hairstyle.’

Emily interrupted. ‘Yes that’s about right. She’s not very good at finding the right shades. She tends to look like a drag artist if she’s not careful.’

‘We can’t have that can we. Everything in moderation. You have beautiful eyes so let’s start there.’

Less than an hour later she sat me up and let me look in a mirror. All evidence of my maleness had disappeared, and I was amazed and once again speechless. Emily had been sitting on a seat close by glancing over occasionally to check progress. I was looking for a positive reaction and I was relieved when Emily raised a thumb and came over.

‘So how much did you take note Julie? Are you able to re-create this look yourself?’

I shook my head and said Sarah Jane was an artist and I wouldn’t get close but Emily said not to worry as she would help. I couldn’t really admit that I did have a few years of experience of application but more for night-time outings in subdued lighting.

That done Emily suggested we had a coffee at Costa coffee and then we could head back to purchase the items I’d tried on and maybe a few extras.

‘Emily it’s getting out of hand. All this is costing a fortune. Are you sure it’s OK?’

‘Of course, it is. It’s an absolute pleasure to see you look so happy and I’m being well paid to sort out the Company. It’s not like I’ve anything else I’d rather spend it on. Nothing anyway that gives me such satisfaction.’

I stayed quiet. I supposed her remuneration was much greater than the combined package that George and I had received and if she achieved the desired result the shareholders would be more than satisfied and no doubt will be approving a big bonus. So hard work doesn’t always bring reward, but emergency repair work often brings much greater benefit. Still, I had my chance and struggled. As a result, I’d hardly dared face them and now with this appearance no way on Earth were they ever going to get chance if I could help it. At least Emily was trying to protect me.

Inside the coffee shop I was conscious of my need to relieve myself that was becoming uncomfortable. There were no customer toilet facilities in the coffee shop since public toilets were convenient just across the court. Emily could see my problem and said it would be a good test for me to pay a visit to the ladies on my own now my male features had been erased. I didn’t have much choice since I couldn’t last until we arrived home and we still needed to collect the clothe items we’d set aside. I figured it was the excitement that was affecting the urgency so I stood up to excuse myself so I could hurry across.

‘Julie wait a moment. Here take my bag. You’ll need a tissue and some wipes for your hands and I always carry them for public facilities. We need to get you a bag and some bits and pieces so you blend in with other girls.

‘Emily this is crazy. What if I get challenged or stopped?’

‘You must have done it before surely. Just be confident and don’t hesitate. It’s not like anybody is going to be monitoring the visitors. I’ll see you back here.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 16

I nervously headed to the door for the ladies restroom and two middle age women were just coming out as I reached to push the door. They were chattering and luckily they never acknowledged me as I stepped aside to let them pass. So typical these days since manners seem to have gone out of the window.

I nervously entered and was relieved to see that there was nobody else present. It was a large place with lots of cubicles, so I headed to the furthest away from the entry. At least I’d have a wall on one side and hopefully less chance of anybody else using the next cubicle. It was a relief to sit a while and I nervously looked at my phone for any messages and switched it to photo so I could see my face up close. The style that Jillian recommended did look good and there was no way I was going to be able to adopt my usual ponytail as it was too short at the back and longer at the sides. I guessed the best option might be to book a few days holiday and stay away from the office until we’d seen Jack and then maybe to have a shorter style that would appear more masculine.

I looked in Emily’s bag to find some wipes, but they weren’t suitable for the face to remove make-up. I wanted to keep it on anyway, so I didn’t search with any real commitment.

Since nobody had entered whilst I emptied my bladder and took photos, I finished my business and crossed to the sinks where I got a full view of myself in the large well-lit mirrors. With expert make-up and a new hairstyle, I could see a woman looking back and all signs of Julian had melted away. I really liked what I saw, and I felt my stomach churning with excitement. It was the opportunity I’d always wanted so I didn’t know why I was being so stupid. If Emily felt it was feminine and was happy to be seen with me then why should I be so nervous about colleagues. She would be with me and no doubt she would step in if necessary. My apprehension was more to do with my immediate family but all three were in various stages of dementia and they were deteriorating rapidly and hardly recognising me. The care home staff didn’t seem to have time to be concerned about my change in appearance and they were rushed off their feet most of the time and relieved to let families spend time together.

The door opened and two women entered chattering away. One stared at me in the mirror and I suspected she realised I wasn’t female and that she was going to make a scene. However, I was wrong she just smiled and complemented me on my hair and asked me who had styled it. Nervously I gave her Jillian’s name and told her about their location in the mall.

My first real visit to an all-female restroom free of trans girls and transvestites and thanks to Emily for sending me alone. Such a small event boosted my confidence enormously and I almost skipped back to where Emily was waiting.

‘All OK then? Any problems?’

’No problems and it was quite strange really. I was alone admiring the make-over and then two women entered, and they seemed to treat me as if I was in the right place and even asked about my new hairstyle.’

‘So there we are then. We just need to change your outfit and you can totally relax and we can spend the day as I hoped and let you explore some more.’

‘Emily, can I ask you something please? Why are you pushing me to become more feminine? You don’t know me and yet you’ve seemed to encourage me from day 1 and some friends think that I’ve been weak in just accepting my changing role and not standing up for myself. Now I am starting to look like a woman that seems to be what you want. It can’t be just because of your brother surely?’

‘True. It’s not just that. I guess I wanted to see how beautiful you really are, and I sensed how feminine you were when we first met. I did have some advance information and you weren’t singled out for redundancy by the board or expected to take leave like George. I was asked to establish if you had the necessary respect and authority to remain as Managing Director and it was a split decision between board members. I am quite happy to take the role of CEO and Managing Director and I do believe that you are more suited to a support role. I’ve already told my uncle that there is a lot of work to do here, far more than anticipated and I want the challenge.’

‘So, the intention was to bring in a new CEO with me retaining my position as MD?’

‘Yes, it was part of my brief but I don’t think that you are cut out for so much responsibility. You have a lot of knowledge and skill that is beneficial, and I wouldn’t like to lose you.’

‘But Emily that’s so unfair. How can you make such a judgement in such a short time?’

‘ Because I’m paid to do that, and I believe that I’m a good judge of character. You seem much happier as each day goes by. I’ve already seen the change in you.’

‘Of course, you have, and the changes are going to be difficult to explain. I was just accepted as a woman in the restroom without the blink of an eye.’

‘Come on Julie admit it. You like the new look and I feel you prefer your new role. Let’s have a day at the spa together and if that is too embarrassing, I promise we’ll leave immediately, and I’ll drop you home.’

‘But then what? Do I lose my job? Is it your decision or does it need Board approval?’

‘Oh Julie at times you are such a wimp. It’s my decision of course. I took the job based on no interference.’

I was stunned into silence for a few minutes and my mind was racing. Why had I been so stupid to accept the change of role, and could I really trust and believe Emily? I felt that I could but she had a vested interest of course. She would get my job as well as my former bosses and she seemed to like the power and the chance to make a name for herself. What was not to like?

‘Look Julie lets go sort out the clothes we set aside. If you don’t want them we’ll just put them back on the rails and even cancel the spa day Is that what you want?’

‘I don’t really know what I want at the moment. I’m more confused than I was a few days ago since my appearance has changed. I don’t seem to look like myself anymore.’

‘Well what’s your problem then. Wouldn’t it be nice if we just carry on shopping for a while? We can look around for something else and call back to collect the other things later. You might as well enjoy your new look for the rest of the afternoon and get our moneys worth. Who knows how you will then feel.’
I accepted that was something I’d like to do. I liked the feeling and Emily was with me to deflect any unwanted attention or suspicions. I had never had the chance to do out much in the daytime and I could continue shopping whilst presenting as female in daylight hours with a much more feminine look. Emily smiled and nodded and then she hooked my arm in hers and guided me towards an accessories shop. It displayed purses, wallets and handbags of all sizes and styles and in a variety of colours.

‘I think you need a small cosmetic bag and a casual bag for starters then maybe a small clutch if our dinner date is still on tonight. Are you up for a nice quiet dinner somewhere after we call home to change?’

‘But you won’t have much time to go to your place and change by the time we’ve finished, will you?’

‘I thought you might let me spruce myself up at your place. I have a bag in the car boot. I always carry one for emergencies.’

‘I was a little taken aback at the speed of things and worried that my apartment might not look as smart as it should. I’d barely had enough time to worry about my chores in the last week or so. I nodded and said as long as she would forgive any mess.

Whilst I did have bags and accessories in my spare room I accepted Emily’s advice on a small selection, one of which she felt I should use for work. She insisted I try some custom jewellery and a small less manly wristwatch and two rings. The bill was escalating out of control and was well outside my budget.

‘Now then Julie let’s go to the sports shop and kit you out for something more suitable for tomorrow at the spa. Something more casual I think with some flats or tennis shoes.

By 4pm I was whacked out and ready to take a shower and relax. Emily still had lots of energy and had purchase lots of things for herself as well as for me.

As we drove to my place I felt myself nodding and I must have fallen asleep since we seemed to be home in minutes. Emily helped me carry all my bags to my apartment as well as her overnight bag. First priority was to dump the bags and quickly tidy around whilst Emily used the restroom. Then we shared a nice pot of tea and sat down to relax.

Emily was going to wear her black trousers with heels that meant she’d be taller than me and she had a nice dress shirt that was good for any restaurant requiring smart attire. I offered her the use of the guest bathroom to shower and change and I unpacked my shopping bags and then took a shower in my ensuite. I was tempted to take a peak at Emily since she was so gorgeous but mainly through envy rather than voyeurism. I resisted the urge.

Emily suggested that I wore a skirt and blouse with a small heel so we could visit a nice seafood restaurant rather than an average snack type place and scanned for something a little more upmarket.

‘We need to show off your new look and seafood is not too filling is it? How about some lobster or seabass or something for a nice change?’

I had been spoiled enough but I couldn’t refuse.

We reserved a table for 6pm and arrived on schedule that was a short taxi ride since Emily wanted to relax and have a drink to celebrate my first day out as Julie. She kept referring to it as my Coming Out that did bring a blush to my cheeks each time. It was nice to be welcomed and addressed as ladies but I was nervous in case any other customers I knew might be dining there. A quick scan of the restaurant didn’t identify anybody but it was still early and the tables weren’t fully occupied.

I let Emily choose our meal and she insisted on a sharing plate of seafood followed by grilled seabass fillets with a few potatoes. We shared a bottle of white wine. I knew that the seafood platter would overface me and that I’d make a mess even though the restaurant supplied hand protectors like surgeons gloves. I didn’t disappoint. Emily just laughed and kept passing me fresh wipes. She consumed most of the fresh crab, especially the claws and legs whilst I focused on the prawns and the mussels. It would have been sufficient for me but I knew that we had the seabass to come. Light but delicious with a sauce.

We chatted all through dinner and eventually the subject of her brother was raised. She wanted to visit him the following weekend and she wanted me to join her as Julie and to attend a party together to which he’d been invited with a close friend. Was this the pressing need for me to present as Julie so that she didn’t look out of place?

‘A whole weekend as Julie? Are you sure? In London?’

‘Yes. Nothing wrong with that is there? It’s his 25th birthday. Or hers should I say and her partner will be there along with a lot of their close friends. I really need to go so will you come with me? We have a company apartment we can use. I checked and it’s free all weekend.’

I was a little taken aback. A weekend in London with Emily, as boss and PA, in a company apartment, with me presenting as female. What if the board found out or any employees for that matter? Should I insist to go as myself and just dress for the function and what of her brother and his friends? I didn’t even think to ask his name.

‘But Emily this is a bit of a shock. Are you sure I would not cause you embarrassment? People could find out at work and make two and two add up to any number you want to think of. I don’t know anybody and if I went as Julie I’d be asking for trouble for both of us. Where is the apartment and how private is it? I don’t even know your brothers name? Why me of all people? Why not a real friend?’

‘The apartment is in Kensington so it’s a really nice location a stones throw from the Kensington Palace and the Royal Albert Hall. It’s a Pride weekend in London so it’s more likely to be more embarrassing for me than you. Lots of Jackies friends will be attending with several from Canada. They all meet regularly at these gatherings. The party is at a venue just off Kensington High Street.’

‘Is there any family attending? What about your mum?’

‘My mum no but my cousins will be there as far as I know. I should at least show my face. T think there is an event at the Royal Albert Hall that a lot of his friends are attending. They intend to announce their engagement based on what he’s told me but mum prefers to stay away.’

‘Well I would like to help if I can but are you sure about this. It’s a strange request considering we hardly know each other.’

‘It would mean a lot to me and I’d feel more comfortable. I know that Jackie want me to be there. I never met his/her partner.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 17

Our conversation stopped with the arrival of the desert trolley that was filled with a variety of nice sweets and we both looked at each other waiting for the others reaction. Guilty pleasures to tempt us and an enthusiastic waiter who was refusing to move. ‘Ladies please let me tempt you with some of the specialities by our chef who has worked very hard today and awaits your feedback.’

We looked at each other and I could see that Emily had her eyes on the tiramisu whilst I was tempted by the traditional trifle that took me back to my youth and parties at home. I immediately thought of my mum and parties with friends from school and my uncle laughing and joking and pretending to dip his spoon before any of us had chance to be served. He was such a joker with children and it was sad to think about his loss of memory with the onset of his dementia. All three were now fading quickly and were behaving like children but without smiles on their faces.

Emily snapped me out of my reverie, and I focused on the waiter and pointed to the trifle. ‘Just a half portion please. It’s too tempting to miss and takes me back to my boy.. er childhood.’

‘And you Miss. What is your preferred choice?’ Emily smiled and pointed to the tiramisu and it was served so quickly that she had no choice but to accept a full portion.
I resisted to eat at my normal speed and tried to eat slowly and delicately and Emily smiled in acknowledgement.

‘So Julie? Did you decide yet? Will you come to London next weekend. I promise to look after you and ensure you don’t get into any mischief.’

‘Are you sure that you want me hanging out with you like this? You must have lots of male friends who would willingly escort you with no risk of you being humiliated.’

‘Well, I don’t get much chance to socialise so my list of options is not great. Most are now in serious relationships and anyway I’m asking you and it’s a chance for you to get away for a weekend and meet other people who have similar experience and interests. I really want to see you relax and be yourself and it will be good for both of us. It’s not formal I assure you. We don’t have to stay long either if you feel uncomfortable.’

‘OK but I’m going to have to visit my family on Friday before we go so how will we travel and what time do you think you’ll leave work?’

‘Great so we can talk about that at the Spa tomorrow since it’s a good opportunity to sort out the details whilst we relax.’

I had finished my trifle before I knew it and Emily had a clear plate too. She reached across the table and took my hand and squeezed it gently. ‘Julie I am so happy for you. I’ve seen a huge cloud lift and a big smile on your face all day. I sincerely believe that this is the real you and you were obviously struggling to hide your real identity from people. I think the treatment today has brought out just how beautiful you are, and I hope you can see it yourself. I’m so pleased that you have spent the day with me. I can see that your confidence has increased significantly, and you are a totally different person to the one I first met. You should step out of the shadows more and at work rest assured that you’ll have my full support.’

I decided not to pull my hand away since it was comforting and reassuring to feel that I was accepted the way that I felt inside. Emily also seemed like a different person away from the office and I liked working for her and spending this time together. She was pushing me and I guess I needed it. However as far as the invitation was concerned travelling outside my area dressed as female was scary. I couldn’t just run home if I lost my nerve, or I was challenged or even attacked. Things were moving so fast and I wanted to put her off. Surely, with her looks and personality she was in a relationship with a big circle of friends. She was too confident to be a loner like me.

We had coffee in the lounge area in two comfortable high back chairs conveniently positioned so we had a little privacy. That was especially important since I was now sitting in the open wearing a skirt with no dinner table to hide my legs. I did my best to sit down correctly and as upright as possible crossing my legs as the skirt rode up a little on my thighs. Emily gave me a smile of approval but I was nervous since I felt like I was in the spotlight as other customers and waiters passed by and cast a look in our direction. Emily looked slim and smart in her trouser suit and she sat upright too that was more natural. I wasn’t sure how long I could sit straight since I was also experiencing something new. Sitting in darkened bars or nightclubs was much less worrisome. Also never having had a girlfriend or a being in a relationship of any kind I was not used to the attention I was receiving from Emily. She seemed to delight in fussing over me and she was treating me like a date.

I felt desperate to call Sally to explain what was happening and seek her advice. However, on reflection it wasn’t exactly fair to disturb her and so I resisted. Anyway, I doubted I could find a quiet place or the opportunity for some privacy for a call. It would have to wait. I was receiving plenty of complements from Emily who said that I knew how to behave and she was impressed. I did like to keep myself in shape with yoga and Emily did comment that I had a nice figure that most women would crave with nice hips that gave me a feminine shaped butt. I did focus on my glutes in my exercise routines but most of my exercises were light in front of tv before breakfast. I felt so pleased to be receiving complements and I tried to return them but Emily didn’t let me.

After coffee Emily paid the bill and suggested we left for home since we had an early start and it seemed appropriate since the restaurant was now quite busy and there was a buzz so we had to speak up that was becoming awkward for me. We had agreed to an early start to Harrogate that was a nice drive and we could check in any time after 10 am for the Spa Day. It felt strange to be spoiled so much and around Emily she wouldn’t hear my pleas to contribute to the bill.

I was in a happy mood as we headed to my place and closed my eyes when Emily played some soft relaxing music on the Easy Listening channel.

When we arrived back in front of my apartment building I opened my eyes. I was surprised how quickly the journey had been. Emily switched off the engine and turned to me with a serious expression on her face.

‘Julie, I hope today has given you enough confidence for tomorrow and next weekend. I think we can check in for a girly spa day. I don’t think there is any way you can check in for the men’s spa even if you want to try. Anyway, I had taken the chance and registered you as Julie Ann rather than Julian. You don’t mind, do you?’

‘I don’t suppose I have much choice even if I wanted to have I? I just hope that there is no nudity or other women around who might be offended by my presence.’

Emily opened the passenger door for me and explained how to swivel keeping my legs together since I was conscious of my legs in view in the skirt. Not that there were any passers-by to worry about. She gave me a hug and hung on for a few moments before saying goodnight and I watched as she drove away and gave me a little wave. What a day I’d had that had been so nice. I didn’t want it to end. Roles and expectations were certainly different with Emily around.

After a very comfortable nights rest I woke to the sound of my alarm just as my telephone beeped with a message. It was Sally who was up early and keen to know if I was alright after my shopping trip with Emily and asked if the Spa day was still on. I responded with a short message asking if she was ok and if she was alone to have a quick chat before I got showered. She rang me immediately to check if everything was OK.

I must have come across as very excited as I quickly unloaded about my day with Emily and how I’d been spoiled. She asked how I looked this morning and if the treatment and the new hairstyle gave me the feminine appearance even without make-up. I crossed to the mirror nodding my head and didn’t know what to say for a few minutes.

‘Jules tell me that you are ok you’ve gone quiet.’

‘Sally I can’t stay like this and the more time I spend with Emily the more feminine I look. She seems to like me like this and it’s like I’m in dreamland. I wanted to call you last night to seek your advice because she’s asked me to go to London with her next weekend but not as myself as Julie Ann.’

‘Wow does that mean you two are an item? It sounds like it.’

‘No not at all. She needs me to accompany her to her brothers engagement party. I can’t say anymore than that over the phone and I have to take care since it’s sensitive.’

‘Wow. A weekend in London and you coming out to her family. Will her uncle be there? It might be awkward for you.’

‘It’s not that sort of party it’s just friends and no other family will be there apart from Emily.’

‘Well I’d be there for sure but do take care but I think she’s hitting on you.’

‘Sally it’s not like a straight forward boyfriend and girlfriend thing. She wants me to spend the whole weekend as female as a girlfriend. I think that was why she wanted to feminise me yesterday.’

‘More Wow. This is sounding interesting. Do you think she likes you as a woman? Is she lesbian or something? I never heard of this sort of relationship before. Do you like her? Has she kissed you or made advances?’

‘No Sally. Nothing like that and I’m taking care that is why I needed to chat. I value your opinion and advice since we’ve known each other a long time.’

‘Well Jules I think you are in a difficult position and in all honesty you need to take care. The changes at work are pretty extreme and unnecessary as far as a few of us are concerned. It seems that anybody with loyalty to you or George has been removed and inexperienced people put in their place. Could it be that Emily wants your jobs permanently rather than being hired to sort things out?’

‘What makes you say that? I don’t think so.’

‘But she’s taken your job and you had supporters amongst shareholders didn’t you? Surely they didn’t want to see you fired. Are you sure about Emily. Maybe she is deliberately setting you up and showing that you like to dress and act as female hoping you will lose their support. Even her uncle can be outvoted and I’m sure they can see the nepotism.’
‘Sally I am sure that Emily is genuine. My salary might be reduced but the rest of the terms and conditions seem to be the same. She seems so nice and she’s smart.’

‘I’m just saying to take care and don’t be lulled into a false sense of security just because you have a job. You are better than a PA.’

‘Thanks for your advice Sally and I will watch out. I think she is very smart if this is a scheme like you suggest but I don’t think so.’

‘Look Jules call me anytime. I’m safe because I’m pregnant at long last and I might just resign rather than take maternity leave. If everything goes well of course. I don’t rate Melanie Baxter. She is too full of herself and hasn’t got the experience. Otherwise you’d have promoted her.’

‘Sally thanks for sharing your concerns. I can’t see a way out of my situation at the moment so I will just go along with it for now. We are going to the Spa Day after I get ready, and she’s made the booking and paid in advance.’

‘Are you going as two women or a mixed couple? Have you ever been to a Spa Day? You might feel awkward if you are registered as female. ‘

‘I’ve no idea what to expect.’

‘Well, it depends on the venue. Often, they are fairly exclusive and private so it might be just the two of you. I guess much depends on the cost and what’s included in the package. Sometimes it involves full massages and steam room whilst nude. You get towels and bathrobes of course but nothing underneath so you’ll have to take care.’

‘I am sure that it is quite safe. Surely these places are private with no risk of full exposure.’

‘Just take care Jules that’s all I’m saying.’

Sally had certainly made me feel more nervous. I knew it was possible that I was being naïve but I felt confident that I was a judge of character and Emily seemed totally genuine.’
About 30 minutes later I was showered and dried and trying on the casual gym outfit we’d purchased the day before. It was dressy enough for travelling and from the ladies department as were the sneakers. I had no other leisure outfits that were suitable for a Spa day that would enable me to pass as female. I liked the outfit and it wasn’t cheap so I couldn’t not wear it. We weren’t going anywhere afterwards as far as I knew so I only needed a t shirt shorts and fresh underwear in my sports bag. I decided to pack my cosmetic bag although I’d no idea if another session of make-up was included.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 18

Before I’d had chance to put on any make-up my buzzer sounded. Emily had arrived early and was expecting me to invite her up to my apartment. I released the lock and opened my apartment door awaiting her exiting the lift at the end of the corridor. She surprised me by taking the stairs and she appeared with a broad smile across her face hardly out of breath.
‘Keeps me fit and no point going to a spa day out of condition is there?’
I smiled nervously still apprehensive about what might lie ahead. ‘I don’t know what to expect and I certainly couldn’t have climbed the stairs as quickly as that.’

We went inside my apartment, and she sat at the breakfast bar whilst I tried to tidy a few things away out of sight. I explained that I was trying to decide whether or not I should make-up my face but she hadn’t and she said not to waste my time since we’d be removing it anyway after we checked in. Emily had beautiful smooth skin and certainly didn’t need make-up, but I was a different prospect. I was lucky to have smooth skin since I’d shaved what hairs I had whilst showering. Still my skin wasn’t smooth and soft like hers.
‘We’ll be getting facials and I’ve included a thalassotherapy pool session in the package before our lunch to sooth our bodies from aches and pains so just pack your bag and let’s get going.’

‘Does that mean we will be stripping down and exposing our bodies? I can’t do that or we’ll be ejected.’
‘No we won’t we’ll just have the neck and back done and our hands and feet and maybe our legs. Nothing higher that our thighs so don’t panic. When we go for the pool session there are so many bubbles caused by the jets that nobody is going to see anything. Anyway it will just be the two of us in the pool that is like a big bath and I promise to look away. ’

‘So, nobody hosing us down then?’

‘No, I’ve checked on line and with the hotel so you can relax. If it still bothers you then you can wear a swimsuit or some bikini bottoms. I’ve packed some just in case and they will fit you.’

I felt better and was also reassured that we were wearing similar outfits and that we were of similar size. I didn’t look like a man dressed in feminine sports gear. I felt comfortable in Emily’s company and was finding it hard to believe that she was anything but sincere in her behaviour despite Sally’s concerns.

The drive to Harrogate was much quicker than I expected that no doubt was because it was early on Sunday and the hotel was set in the countryside rather than in the town, so it was peaceful and picturesque in a nice setting. We headed to the spa and checked in with Emily taking charge and ensuring that we had the exclusive package she’d booked that was out of my income bracket. I wondered what mum and dad would think of me if they could understand what was going on. Somehow, I doubted whether I’d have ever had the courage to explore this side of me for fear of embarrassing them. I didn’t have anybody close to me to upset anymore.

The receptionist was very friendly and chatted to Emily whilst I stood a few feet away. They seemed to be deliberately lowering their voices and I couldn’t make out what they were discussing. It would have been rude to step closer, so I tried to look away and read the brochure that I picked up from a side table. I was impressed with what I saw of the facilities in the photographs.

We were given security bands and escorted to a lounge area where we were served coffee and croissants. There were small tables with other guests all of whom were females. No males at all. After our refreshments we were directed towards the changing areas and fortunately there were private dressing cubicles, so I was able to avoid any embarrassment and I opted for the bikini briefs with the added protection of a soft white dressing gown covering me in case of unexpected visitors and to protect my modesty from Emily.

We entered the door marked thalassotherapy and Emily went first with me staying behind in case it was occupied. It seemed to be reserved for our session and a female attendant explained how it worked and how long we should stay in the bath. She switched on the jets and left us to our own devices. Emily turned her back, removed her bathrobe and placed her towel on a bench then stepped into the large bath and lay back until she was fully submerged up to her shoulders. I couldn’t avoid looking at her and she seemed quite confident about exposing her breasts in front of me. She beckoned me to join her and said she’d protect my modesty by looking away.

I turned away before removing my robe and eased myself into the water that was a few degrees above room temperature. It was very salty since it was supposed to be a seawater bath but we were at least 70 miles from the sea and I couldn’t imagine it being piped or transported that distance. We were side by side and then Emily reached to increase the intensity of the jets that surrounded us. Now it didn’t matter if I was nude since the Jetstream’s made it impossible to see much. Not that I was looking of course. We had 20 minutes with jets gently massaging our bodies according to Emily and it was very relaxing although I was at a loss to see the logic of using seawater. It was supposed to soften and tone up the skin and cure aches and pains. I’d heard of athletes and racehorses running in the sea to aid the recovery of muscle injuries but the furthest I’d ever ventured at the coast was up to my knees since it was the North Sea that was too cold. Probably that caused numbness rather than curing anything.

‘This is nice don’t you think Julie?’

‘It’s relaxing but I’m trying not to talk in case I swallow the salty water. I hope it is treated like in a swimming pool.’

‘Well, we do have seawater pools at some seaside places so it’s no different.’

The jet pressure was set to automatic, so it increased in intensity then reduced and increased again a few times and more jets opened in the base of the bath and the effect was like sitting in the surf at the beach on the oceans edge but without the discomfort of sand to worry about.
Emily sat up to get more comfortable exposing her breasts above the water line as she did so, and she seemed to be completely at ease in front of me. ‘Come on Julie don’t be shy. It’s not like you have much up top to worry about but I realise this might be your first time sharing a bathing bath. Is it?’

‘Yes, it is. I never did anything like this before and it is a bit weird. It’s not fair on you.’

‘Don’t worry Julie I’m used to bathing and showering topless. Don’t forget that I went to an all-girls school so exposing our breasts was almost natural. You must have showered or bathed with boys after gym class or sports activities at school.’

‘I did but it was awkward, so I usually waited until most of the boys were done or I’d shower later at home. If I went in the large communal bath, I’d be last out otherwise I was the subject of ridicule. I wasn’t comfortable without my swimming trunks that were not allowed. I was slow through puberty.’

That caused Emily to smile a little and she took my hand and squeezed it. ‘Didn’t the sports master ever intervene?’

‘No because they always waited until he was distracted or in his small room. I suppose that I was my own worst enemy since I let them see I didn’t like it rather than just laughing with them.’

‘Boys are so cruel it must have been awkward. I notice that you do have a puffy chest for someone so slender. Was that the real problem or just lack of size down below?’

‘Yes, it didn’t help when I was accused of having girls boobs so mum insisted, I visited the family doctor. He said it was common for boys in their early teens and it was supposed to sort itself out in time, but it never did. I’ve got used to them I suppose.’

‘Well, I’ve seen girls at college with flatter chests. They’d have gladly swopped with you.’

‘Some of the upper body exercises I do each morning are supposed to tone up my chest area and I tried to intensify my routine, but recently I’ve given up.’
She laughed and said, ‘Well pardon the pun but maybe they’ve grown on you.’

I smiled back ‘I don’t think they’ll ever compete with yours. It must feel good to wear a bra.’

‘It’s something that girls look forward to as they go through puberty and so now you’ve almost gone through yours at work so it’s a good time to enjoy yourself and get yours out of your underwear drawer.’

‘You mean you want me to wear one for work? That is a big ask.’

‘It is not an ask Julie it’s time you faced facts and realised how feminine you really are. Tomorrow can be the day you came into full bloom and once through that obstacle then Tuesday should be a piece of cake. Afterall you did great yesterday and if the rest of today goes as planned your nervousness will be gone I’m sure. It’s not like your boss is going to suspend you or give you the sack. It’s not a justified reason these days unless I’m mistaken. Do you need it in writing? I’ll do that if it helps.’

I was too embarrassed to acknowledge what Emily had offered and to continue the conversation so after a period of silence I suggested we move on to the shower before the next activity that was a choice of a facial and then a body massage or a visit to the state of the art gymnasium before lunch. It was a given as far as I was concerned even though I was apprehensive about being exposed. I wasn’t into building muscle or running or going on steppers, lifting weights whatever and I preferred yoga to keep myself fit. Sadly, it wasn’t an option.

Emily was conscious of my shyness and reluctance to exercise so she showered first whilst I sat outside the communal shower area waiting until she had finished. She stepped out and walked towards me after drying herself somewhat seductively that she must have done purposely to look for a response. Nothing was left to the imagination and whilst there was no effect on my manhood, I couldn’t help but be impressed with her slender body and smooth tanned skin. She then wrapped a fresh large towel around her body and gave me a broad smile. ‘All yours Julie and remember there is no need to wash your hair that comes later so just use a shower cap. No need for us to look glamourous at lunch since we’ll all be in the same situation. No men around to ogle us. Present company excepted of course.’

I removed my bikini bottoms with my back to Emily and took a shower cap from a shelf and turned on the shower. I used the shower gel to soap my body and stroked my nipples that were getting aroused and I’d no idea why. Maybe because of the kind comments from Emily and her acceptance of me having what amounted to budding breasts. The water was warm and comforting and I closed my eyes to let the spray fall onto my shoulders and then onto my back before realising what I’d just done. When I opened them I was facing Emily who was waiting with my towel to wrap around me. She saw everything yet she said nothing.

I took time to dry my body and removed the shower cap and she held out my bath robe and passed me a fresh pair of slippers that were complementary. What could I say she had seen everything yet she never reacted. She just passed me a fresh pair of panties out of my bag that she insisted I wear during lunch. She had done the same.

‘Julie I’m pleased to confirm that you have just graduated to womanhood. I knew this was the real you when we first met. You have pretty features as we found out yesterday. Are you ready to eat?’

‘Like this? Shouldn’t we dress first?’

‘You are one of the girls now so we can relax since this is normal for girls only in a Spa café.’

I followed her through to the café and we found a table in one corner. There were about 12 girls spread over 4 or 5 tables all chattering and they all looked across as we entered. Emily said hello and introduced us but I’d no idea of any of the names that were offered in response. A few of them were relaxing before attending a wedding the following weekend but the bride wasn’t in attendance.

We ordered soups and salads that came fairly quickly and were served with sparkling water after Emily decided we should decline the offer of wine that was part of the package. My first experience of visiting a spa and so far so good.

After a coffee we headed towards the massage and beauty rooms.

Surely Sally was wrong about Emily. It felt like she was treating me as a girlfriend rather than as her PA or a work colleague. She was pushing me hard though and I couldn't stop myself. This weekend and this day out were special and today was a dream come true.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 19

Emily took my hand again as we met our masseuses who checked our booking and she stepped aside out of my earshot to talk in private with the senior one who had a name badge Charlotte that seemed an old fashioned name for a woman in her mid-twenties. She then said that she would be my masseuse and her assistant Lauren would be taking care of Emily. I was uneasy not knowing what to expect and conscious that my real identity would be disclosed.

There were two beds arranged side by side just a few feet apart and Emily lay down on her stomach whilst Lauren removed her robe exposing her back and cute buttocks and long slim legs. I turned away slightly embarrassed for Emily who didn’t seem concerned at all. Lauren covered her from her shoulders to her ankles with a large towel and then helped her to turn over to lay on her back and raised the top of the bed slightly pulling back her hair and holding it in place with a headband. Then Charlotte turned to me and smiled.

‘Now then Julie Anne I understand this is your first time. I hope you will enjoy.’

I was desperate to keep my lack of bosom and genitals out of sight as I was positioned and then turned over, but Charlotte just smiled and whispered to me not to worry she’d seen it all before. I wasn’t sure what she meant. Did she know?

‘Now then Julie Anne we start with a gentle head massage and then we’ll tackle the remains of yesterdays make-up that you don’t seem to have managed to remove fully. I’ll give you some cleaning pads and make-up remover samples to take home. Most girls have this problem so hence they come here for facial cleaning and massages. I think you’ll enjoy the experience, and you’ll have nice soft skin by the time I’ve finished.’

With such a scrutiny I was relieved that I didn’t have the remnants of beard or moustache growth that had been a problem since my teen years due to the lack of testosterone in my body that had always caused me embarrassment until now. I knew my skin didn’t compare with Emily’s or either of the masseuses. I didn’t expect to be under a light and to have the next comment either from Charlotte.

‘I think you ought to have a chat with our laser treatment specialist, but she only visits twice a week. I think she could get rid of these stray hairs on your chin. I can get rid of these, but they’ll grow back. Still, you are lucky since most of our customers like you have to shave regularly. You have a woman’s skin, almost baby skin, so what treatment do you use?’

Emily looked across and smiled. ‘I did tell them that you were trans and that you were preparing for surgery next year. It’s not a problem is it Charlotte?’

‘No, not if Julie Anne is living as a girl as you explained. We pride ourselves on discretion and I doubt anybody would challenge or complain. Julie Anne is quite beautiful so she must have good genes.’

I decided it was best to stay silent and to talk with Emily after our facials when we were alone. Least said the better. However because I said nothing Emily chipped in. ‘Yes it was my opinion too the first time I met Julie Anne. I could see she needed help. We’ve had a wonderful weekend together and this is the icing on the cake. I wanted her to enjoy what we girls look forward to more than anything. Better even than sex.’

All three of them burst into giggles and I shook my head not believing what I’d just heard. Surely not.

Then Charlotte got to work massaging my temples and scalp then my cheeks and down to my neck. It was so nice that I closed my eyes and kept them closed whilst she applied eye make-up cleansing liquid to my eyelids and then cleansing cream all over my face and neck to remove all traces of make-up from my visit to the salon the day before. It took about 15 minutes with several applications and wiping with soft pads soaked in rose petal water.

Charlotte had massaged my arms then my hands whilst the cleansing cream was doing its work. I hoped it wasn’t removing my surface skin. ‘Julie Anne you will be surprised at the effect. Open your eyes and take a look.’

My skin was smooth and shiny and just like it had been renewed. It was a nice surprised. I managed a smile without any difficulty, so it wasn’t sore. Charlotte then applied some finishing cream massaging my face. ‘All done and ready for a visit to the make-up room later after the next massage and your visit to the hot tub and sauna.’

Emily was ready too and she turned onto her front ready for her body massage. Lauren turned the towel down exposing her shoulders and upper back and commenced. As she worked down to the small of her back she removed her towel and set it aside to apply massage oils. OMG what if she had to turn over?

As Charlotte took hold of my towel I spoke out or should I say I spluttered in panic. ‘Is it just a back massage? Do I have to turn over at all.’

Charlotte smiled. ‘As if. Don’t worry and frowning will spoil my hard work. It’s just your back and I promise to be discreet. We have seen it all you know and lots of customers seem determined to try to embarrass us.’

I could see that Emily was sniggering and trying to hide her face. Until Lauren pressed hard into the small of her back that took the smile off her face.

Massages over we had a fresh fruit drink wrapped in our robes before entering the pool area. Emily suggested that we wear our bikini briefs to avoid me going into shock in the sauna and steam room. We had exclusive use but I still was on guard in case of other guests.

It was a nervous experience, and I was pleased to head to the hot jacuzzi where I sank happily into the water hiding my body away. Two other female guests joined us and I hoped they wouldn’t stay long since I was topless with nothing much to show except some puffiness. Emily seemed oblivious and quite happily displayed her firm breasts in front of the three of us.

We stayed for about 30 minutes, and I did manage to enter the conversation from time to time whilst trying to send a signal to Emily not to encourage them.

All she could do was laugh after they left, and so I said we ought to go shower and get dressed before anybody else appeared.

Emily smiled and nodded her agreement and said that I’d done well and now she was absolutely certain that I could pass undetected whilst dressed since I’d done so well almost naked. I did feel relieved and totally relaxed but now I wanted to know why Emily had said that I was trans and that I was considering surgery.
‘Well surely Julie, it helped you to gain access that clearly worked. They would have soon noticed your lack of breasts and your dangly bits however you tried to hide them. What’s so wrong anyway with a little surgery to help you feel more comfortable. You don’t need to have more than a little boost up top. That would be nice wouldn’t it? Just the feeling of filling out a bra.’

‘I think that’s a step too far just now and it would be too expensive anyway. This look is nice for now and it’s fun. I’m not in a good position with my finances as I’ve explained. Getting old needs to be properly planned and finances protected. I really do appreciate your generosity and help but I feel I need to pay you back as soon as thing settle down and I get on top of my finances. It’s been difficult for me with no one to turn to. Then you appeared out of the blue.’

‘I think George should have been taking more of the load and helping you deal with your problems. Bosses have to do that sometimes but maybe that’s a feminine thing. You have a lot of female traits and forgive me for helping to bring them out. But you were confused. As far as I can see and some men took advantage of your good nature. Maybe George did too. We’ll have to see what we find out when we do more digging.’

‘I don’t think George took advantage of me. He is a really nice guy and he treated me like a son.’

‘Maybe his daughter was jealous and wanted to be treated like a son too. I wonder if she could be part of the problem. Did she ever get involved in the business?’

‘Not that I’m aware of but George kept a lot of things to himself about his home life.’

‘I guess we all do that. Does anybody know my uncle is the Group Chairman and CEO?’

‘I don’t think it’s widespread knowledge but it’s hard for me to say since I’ve lost a lot of contact with staff and employees since becoming your PA.’

‘Well, it’s not really a concern but I just thought it might scare people and have leaked back to George’s daughter, sorry his son, so better if we act quickly and after this weekend, I think you are ready. I’m sure it will knock him off his guard and he will probably be a little confused to see the change in you.’

I didn’t think it was necessary to go to this trouble but since my new image was sure to be fed back to George and I was enjoying the experience, thanks to Emily, I was happy to follow her guidance. If only people would accept me, and I could carry on as her PA I’d be happy. My visit to the spa had been a dream come true and I’d never have dared do it without Emily riding shotgun.

We showered again on adjoining cubicles to remove the chemicals from our skin that were likely to have been added to the hot jacuzzi and shampooed our hair. We dried ourselves using more luxury towels maintaining our privacy. I wasn’t at all comfortable to let Emily see me fully naked even though she’d seen me from behind in the shower. She seemed to have less qualms and maybe she was looking for my reaction. If so she succeeded as I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she gently rubbed herself down. She was still discreet, and I sensed that she was smiling to herself. She took care about exposing her breasts other than side profile. They were rounded and as firm as any model. I was in awe since I had never seen a woman naked, nor had I experienced watching a woman partly undressed having declined many invites to visit girly bars with customers.

We wrapped ourselves in our robes and after brushing through her hair Emily approached me and sat me down in front of the large mirror to help me brush out then blow dry my hair to ensure that I retained the look created the day before. It didn’t seem as difficult as I’d expected and I liked it a lot better than the pony tail I’d always worn for work or the loose shaggy look I often wore at home. My hair looked in much better condition. Then we both sat side by side to apply a little make-up with Emily passing on a few tips to improve my techniques before she eventually took full control. She said that my efforts were those of a teenager starting out and not realising that a little was better than too much.

I kept looking at her in the large mirror. She always smiled back. It took us about half an hour largely because Emily insisted on explaining each stage and she kept emphasising the correct sequence of application. She used the products we’d received after the make-over I’d had in the mall. She took a few photos at each stage using my phone to use as a guide in case I forgot. How could Sally be right about her motive for pushing me to explore my feminine side to embarrass me? Emily was being so nice to me and she’d not talked about work all weekend. It was more like she wanted me as a friend and that she was teaching me to become the sort of PA she wanted but with the experience of the company and its products that she needed from time to time. I was having so much fun and it was taking my mind off the concerns about my family. Who cares if she is on a mission?

By the time we were finished I was desperate for a drink so insisted to buy us coffees in the coffee shop come bar area. We dressed and deposited our robes and towels in the baskets provided and headed to the café. I felt relaxed and my skin was so smooth. We found a spare table and I was totally at ease in the company of other guests who seem to be mainly from the spa and leisure centre rather than the hotel.

Most of us were dressed casually. Looking at the surroundings I was impressed. Nobody pestered us and we could get attention of staff whenever we wanted. I remember feeling that lt it would be a nice place to spend a weekend that I’d keep in mind to try once I s through my current difficulties. I might even treat Emily one day to thank her for her support and for keeping me in employment. She seemed to be enjoying herself too as she chatted to other guests around us. She seemed so relaxed and in her comfort zone around strangers in a nice hotel and I was proud of her.

Since it was already late afternoon Emily looked at her wristwatch and beckoned me to get ready to leave so we did a quick visit to the ladies room before she settled the final bill. I’d never have thought of such a venue or such a nice afternoon if Emily hadn’t suggested it. Men don’t have a clue about pampering experiences so well done Emily.

On the drive home Emily pressed me to continue my look at work the following day and said that she would pick me up if it helped that I finally accepted before we arrived. I remember sighing with relief as she exited the car and opened my door. We kissed lightly and hugged before I turned to wave goodnight as I punched in the security code. What a weekend. Could I carry this on? Emily seemed to be able to twist me around her little finger.

As I entered my apartment, I turned on the light and looked in the hallway mirror. In no time at all I had become Julie and Jules was gone. How on earth was my family going to recognise me and how would work colleagues react?

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 20

Emily called just to say that she had arrived at her apartment safely and that she hoped that I’d decided on an outfit for work the following day and started planning outfits for the week ahead to include the night out in Manchester and the weekend trip to London. In truth I’d just sat down on my sofa and curled my feet under me reflecting on the weekend and how best to face up to the challenge of appearing at work as Julie and how I might explain what happened for anybody who commented or asked.

Emily made it all sound easy but there would be no going back once I disclosed my feminine side. It seemed much easier for a woman to dress in masculine clothes and leave off make-up and change her mind and revert than for a man. The only upside was that I’d been wearing female slacks and a ponytail and staff had accepted me. At least to my face and Lord knows what they might have said behind my back.

I eventually followed Emily’s advice and went through to my bedroom to look through my wardrobe and drawers. It wasn’t like I was short of options that was part of my problem but appearing in a dress or a skirt was a declaration of intent and neither option was a subtle change.

I opened my laptop and searched for outfits for the modern secretary or PA. No male outfits so my new role as Emilys PA had been accepted without controversy or confrontation and female staff members seemed to be supportive. Male employees seemed to ignore me altogether and preferred to walk the other way. Emily had promoted a few female employees, so they had nothing to complain about and if anything they were going out of their way to emphasise their new status and my inferiority.

I decided on a black knee length skirt with a white blouse since I’d be sitting behind my desk most of the day so to all intense and purposes, I’d still appear neutral at least, but then again I doubted Emily would let me sit still all day. The skirt that Emily had purchased for me was tight fitting just above the knee. I had another shorter skirt that wasn’t appropriate but nothing else in black. My M&S blouses would be ok for my first day but the skirt meant I needed to wear tights and heels and luckily I had several options.

As for the night out in Manchester I felt a dress or something fairly casual and sporty would be more appropriate and I’d be calling home to change anyway so Emily could help me to decide.

As for the weekend I was sure that the party would be casual dress but the problem for me was that I’d never had much coaching about choosing outfits whilst growing up and I really needed help. I was pretty sure that Sally would give me honest advice provided she was fully on board of me spending a weekend with Emily and trusted my judgement about her intentions. I was even more convinced now that Emily was genuine and was not looking to embarrass me and steal my job. That had already gone as far as I was concerned and the change in role hadn’t been all that bad. It was much less stressful being given tasks and doing Emily’s bidding than running the company providing that I was accepted by colleagues and not the subject of ridicule or abuse.

For the first time in ages, I had a full night’s sleep and needed my alarm to wake me. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time that I put down to the day at the spa and particulary the body massage. Luckily, I set my alarm earlier than normal because Emily was calling in to give me a lift to work and ensure I fulfilled my promise. I must have been mad to agree, and I did wonder about calling her to tell her I was ill. She arrived half an hour early and I let her in. She had called to buy 2 coffees and breakfast baps although my stomach was churning in fear so struggled to eat mine.

Emily agreed that the skirt and blouse were ideal for the office, but she insisted that I wore a bra and packed it a little to give me more shape that I did and she was proved right once again. She approved of my choice of dark tights and heels that meant we were similar height. I doubted I’d manage to wear these all day, but she said I should take a pair of flats for wearing whilst at my desk.

As we sipped our coffee, I showed her my choice of outfits for Manchester and London and I could tell by her expression that she felt I’d made the wrong choice.

‘Look for our trip to Manchester it’s the Gay Village so won’t you be a little underdressed? I’d expect us to come across some very flamboyant outfits if it’s anything like my experience around Soho in London.’

‘Well, I thought the idea was to show my feminine side rather than parading around as a drag artist.’

‘True but I think that something a bit more colourful and daring is better. A short skirt to show your legs and maybe stiletto heels to make them seem longer and to show you have nice calves and slim ankles.’

‘But stiletto heels are difficult for walking around for long periods and they add to my height that I’m trying to disguise.’

‘It is the gay village. Won’t other visitors come in all shapes and sizes?’

I knew that she was right, and my excuse was lame.

‘If you are going to meet and chat with Jacqui then I expect you’ll get plenty of chance to sit down. Hopefully in a corner somewhere for privacy.’

‘Better not call her that. She is now Jack, and she looks more masculine than me. Especially now after this last week or so.’

She laughed ‘That’s not difficult since you have very soft feminine features. I noticed immediately and others did too.’

‘Do you mean your uncle?’

‘No chance. He is oblivious to modern trends and I doubt he’d ever have recognised you as Julian even though you’d obviously met a few times. He doesn’t do it deliberately.’

‘I have met him 4 times, along with George, but he did look right through me each time.’

‘That’s him. Anyway, come on let’s get moving and you can think about my suggestion through the day. You’ll get plenty of chance whilst I’m locked in my office or in telephone conference call meetings. My first is 9am so we need to get going soon. I have a load of e-mails to get through before then.’

My first day in a skirt. This was going to be awkward and with Emily locked away in meetings most of the day I expected to get several curious visitors once word go around. I must be mad, but Emily was not going to let me back off.

I made a jug of coffee as soon as we arrived at the office before anybody was around. I had to hurry but it wasn’t as quiet as I anticipated. I never saw the office come alive so early that surprised me. It never did when I was in charge. Staff certainly seemed to be more motivated since Emily took charge or maybe she scared them because of the changes she’d made. Whilst I got a few smiles from a few female staff I passed the men that were in early kept their heads down. Maybe they feared they’d be replaced by female staff if they put their head above their computer monitors and were frightened of being demoted like I was.

Sally hadn’t arrived when I called her phone at her usual start time and her boss Melanie picked up. ‘Sorry Julie she’s not in yet and I expect she might be experiencing difficulties with morning sickness. I assume you know she’s pregnant, so she’ll be leaving us soon. Whilst you are on the phone, I have an offer for you. Are you interested in taking her job whilst she is on maternity leave once Emily finds a new PA?’

I was speechless for a few moments. What did she know? Maybe that confirmed what Sally had told me that Emily was setting me up. Had she told Sally in confidence? How could Melanie be the right choice for the job if she couldn’t be trusted to keep sensitive information to herself? None of this seemed to add up. So, I decided to confront Sally as soon as I had the chance. Over the phone Melanie seemed to be positively gloating about our reversed situations and now her in a position to decide my future. I sensed a wide smirk on her face. To think I’d given her the first opportunity for a senior position

Whilst I was happy for Sally now that she was pregnant after months of failed attempts, I was sad that she’d be leaving as she was the only true friend in the company. I was really going to miss her. If I survived of course. I’d have to carry on developing my relationship with Emily and hope that my instincts were right. At least my confidence was coming back as I settled into my new role working for Emily. I’d always relied on my gut feeling, and this was the biggest test yet.

I kept an eye on Emily’s outside line and she’d been on a long meeting call and then a few shorter calls. I’d managed to refresh her morning coffee but the best I got was a smile and a wave of acknowledgement. About 10-30 am I got a call from Sally who had only just arrived to the office. She told me that she’d been feeling ill and I told her I’d intended to call around to see her after work to check on her and to check if she needed anything. She thanked me and said she appreciated my concern.

I told her that word was obviously getting around about my appearance and me wearing a skirt. Nothing much was said to my face but Sally was intrigued. She couldn’t resist and she put down the phone and came to see me to see for herself. She was very complementary. I told her that I’d had a great weekend with Emily and that I trusted her and admitted that she’d insisted that I wear make-up and a skirt for work because I had looked so feminine and seemed like a new person. I knew there was a risk that a number of staff came around just to look for themselves and some would try to coax me to stand and walk in front of them, but I didn’t fall for it. Sally wanted me to stand to see for herself and because I trusted her, I stood up and turned around so she could get a full view front and back.

‘You certainly pass as Julia and I like the new voice. Did you realise how that has changed and how you have adopted a few female mannerisms? Is this look for keeps?’

I couldn’t speak so I reached forward to hug her. I asked if she was OK and with tears in my eyes, I told her how pleased she was that she was pregnant at last and how I was going to miss her. She looked me up and down with a smile thanking me and she said she was OK and that she had seen the image of the baby in her first scan but decided to keep the information quiet until everything had progressed more. It felt so nice but at the same time a little awkward to be scrutinised in front of the woman who had been my loyal secretary and yet had never known about my passions of dressing and going out with transvestite friends. I told her how difficult it was to face employees who had all worked as sub-ordinates and that I hardly dare leave my seat and had used Emily’s private toilet/bathroom to avoid contact or embarrassment.

As for the staff who had called to see for themselves, I took care to remain seated as they stretched their necks looking for confirmation of rumours, but I had ensured that none got the chance.

Sally sat in a chair alongside my desk and said that she was worried about me because I’d seemingly lost all my confidence since losing my position and the change in role had had a massive effect on me. I admitted she was right but that at least I had my job and a regular salary so I was fine and that I was confident that things would work out.

I wasn’t needed by Emily who was clearly very busy so it gave us chance to talk a little more, so I told Sally what Melanie had said to me about me losing the job with Emily and her suggesting I take the role of her secretary as maternity cover. I asked if Melanie had said anything to her. She admitted that she had, and it was her who had made the suggestion that Melanie had readily accepted.

‘So, is this information on which you concluded that Emily was setting me up? Or is there more?’

‘Yes, that is all that I know and I don’t know anything more than that. I didn’t want to see you out of a job, so I tried to help’

‘I really appreciate that. But Emily does seem to be more than a boss.’

‘I assumed that Emily had probably confided in Melanie and that she had decided that she wanted to take your job permanently. I think that you were a great boss and lots of the employees think that too. But if you start coming to work as Julie instead of Julian, or even let people see that you cross-dress then I fear that lots will change their opinion. Some are very old fashioned. It won’t sit well with them.’

‘Sally, I promise to take care. Please don’t worry about me because you have to think about yourself now and the bundle of joy inside you. I am so pleased for you. I’m used to challenges but your support is really appreciated.’

With that Sally stood up to leave and I hugged her again. Just then Emily’s door opened and she appeared. ‘Ah Sally it’s nice to see you and Melanie tells me that congratulations are in order.’

With that Sally burst into tears and put her head on my shoulder that caused Emily to step back and she frowned and look embarrassed for causing upset. Then she apologised and Sally eventually said it was OK it was just the emotional change that had taken place and that her hormones were all over the place. Emily invited us into her office and shut the door behind her. She sat her down and asked me to make a fresh coffee or some tea. I left them and before I realised it I was walking through the office in my skirt and heels in full view of everybody. I nervously made drinks and carried them on a tray. Going back it felt like I was walking on a tightrope as I wobbled in my heels. The skirt restricted my stride so I walked with small steps with the cups and saucers rattling on the tray as if to attract everyone’s attention.

Sally had calmed down by the time I got back and I poured the drinks. They were chatting quietly and turned their attention to me. Emily spoke.

‘Sally was telling me what a good boss you were and how you’d become friends. That’s so important between boss and secretary and I have already seen why she thinks so much about you.’

I was glad to see Sally smile and see the side of Emily that I’d seen in case it changed her opinion. Then Emily asked what she thought about my new look and if it worried her at all.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 21

Emily sat back in her chair and twiddled her pen between her fingers waiting for a reaction from Sally who bit her bottom lip and turned and looked at me then took a deep breath. I froze and it seemed like time was standing still as our eyes locked. I wanted to hear what Sally thought but not in front of Emily who I hardly knew. I feared that Sally might speak honestly without holding back since she had nothing to lose.

‘Well Emily as you know I’ll be on maternity leave soon and Julian was my boss before you arrived. I think he has been unfairly treated and I’m not sure what is going on or what to think. I owe him so much and to see him like this concerns me a lot. I have to speak up for him because he deserves better. He was the MD and he worked hard for the company and he put the Company ahead of his family and friends. It’s like you’ve cut off his balls and just because he enjoys his feminine side by cross dressing from time to time is no reason to humiliate him like this.’

‘Really Sally you surprise me. Julian has willingly taken the role of my PA and my assessment was that his femininity has been released without any pressure from me or anybody else. I don’t think you know Julian as well as you think you do. Julie Ann has been there all the time and I’m surprised that you never noticed.’

It was like I wasn’t in the room, and I tried to speak but I couldn’t. In truth I had enjoyed working for Emily and spending time with her. My life had changed dramatically, and I didn’t feel like it was in a downward spiral. I was scared that Sally would say too much and spoil everything. I had a job and it seemed like I had experienced a social life this last week or so and had chance to breathe instead of worrying about work and my aging family who were declining rapidly.
Both were looking at me so I reached across to hold Sally’s arm and indicated her to back off a little. I feared that she was digging a hole for me. It wasn’t as if I was unhappy at the moment, quite the reverse and I almost looked forward to spending time with Emily and I wanted to please her because she had treated me so well and quickly made an impact.

Sally put her hand on mine and she got the message and nodded. ‘Emily, I think you should let Julian give his reaction. He clearly looks like a young woman so calling him Julian is a bit weird but he was my boss and I really care about him.’

‘Sally I know you two had a good reIationship and that the changes I’ve implemented can’t be easy on both of you but this is not Julian here it’s Julie Ann and you should address her as a female colleague. As a friend too which you clearly are. You can see in her face how happy she is and over the weekend I’ve seen a caterpillar turn into a beautiful butterfly. I’m proud of her the way she responded to my coaxing to let her true feelings come out.’

‘But I could understand if this was taking place somewhere far away from here, but she is in the midst of people who worked for her and then there is her family to consider.’

‘See how easily you have accepted Julie Ann?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You already refer to her using the name she is adopting. You see a woman now not a man.’

‘But that’s not fair. It’s because you refer to him as her and use her feminine name.’

‘Of course I do. That’s what she prefers isn’t it Julie?’

I nodded my head and looked to my lap. Sally took hold of my hand and squeezed it looking into my eyes. ‘Is Emily right? Do you prefer to be Julie Ann from now on and to deal with any difficulties that might arise.’

‘Yes, I feel Emily meant no harm at all. I have always felt I was trapped as a man. It’s like I can be myself.’
‘I just hope this is the right decision. You are treading a minefield in my opinion and one wrong step and boom.’

Emily took charge and said that we should leave the discussion where it was and let Sally get back to her desk. She asked me to stay and I just said to Sally that I’d see her later and she just shook her head a little and smiled as she left.

I got up to go back to my desk, but Emily asked me to sit down again. ‘Julie is something bothering you? I get the feeling you have doubts and that you might feel I’ve bullied you into something you didn’t want. Do you want to say something? You know that you can talk to me and share any concerns.’

‘Maybe but I’m not sure. Anyway we have delayed you long enough. You have lots to do today with a full schedule.’

‘True but I am your boss and I will always make time. I can move a meeting if you need to talk. Just go freshen up a little while I make a couple of calls. Back here in 15 minutes if that’s OK? How about we have a fresh pot of coffee?’

I felt better for the break and the chance to visit the bathroom. My stomach was churning and I felt a migraine coming on that had always happened when I was under intense pressure. I sat and closed my eyes for a few minutes and massaged my temples and the bright light that appeared first as a dot got bigger and bigger until it seemed like it was so large that it disappeared from my vision. It always seemed to work as long as I sat quietly and closed my eyes.

Once I felt OK I looked at myself in the mirror and as usually happened my face was pale and drawn. For once though I had a solution and I took out my pressed powder case and foundation cream and that certainly helped bring some colour back to my cheeks. I refreshed my lips and as a result I felt much better. This make-up set was a gift from Emily with the instruction to use it little and often. I was ready to go back into her office and since I’d already walked through the office I decided to make the fresh coffee in the staff kitchen. I felt my knees trembling but luckily the kitchen was empty so I filled a fresh jug from the percolator and walked as quickly as I could with my head down back to Emily’s office.

She greeted me with a smile and complemented me on my progress applying fresh make up and my choice of lip colour. It seemed like I should have had this option as a solution to recover from a migraine attack long before now. I poured our coffees and sat down.

‘Don’t forget to cross your legs when you sit and smooth out your skirt at the back as you position yourself on the seat.’

‘Emily I’m so sorry for the fuss that Sally made but she has become a really good friend and she cares about me.’

‘Yes don’t worry I fully understand. Now what’s at the back of all this? Don’t you trust me? You’ve come a long way in such a short time and I fully understand how you must feel because I’ve been through it already with my brother after he came out.’

’I know but really it was more to do with something that Melanie said to me that she must have shared with Sally. So Sally got concerned and drew her own conclusions.’

‘And what conclusions may they be? I assure you that she has more than likely misunderstood.’

‘Well I called Sally earlier but she hadn’t arrived to the office so Melanie picked up. She as much as offered me the job of her secretary whilst Sally is on maternity leave because she said that you were hiring a new PA.’

‘Really. It just shows how things can get twisted. I’m hiring my former PA not replacing you. She works for a head hunting company now so I thought she was a good person to find a new Managing Director since she knows what I expect of people.’

‘But I thought you were taking a dual role replacing both George and I.’

‘I’m OK doing that on a temporary basis but that’s a really big job as you will know from your own experience. I’m not Superwoman and I want the CEO job on a permanent basis and an experienced person as MD who I can trust. Someone in my own image.’

I was speechless and I gulped down a mouthful of coffee that was much too hot so I almost choked.

If you look on your planner when you get to your desk you will see she is coming in today at 4-30 pm. Her name is Dee Devlin. Short for Diedre Devlin. Her family is Irish and they came over from Cork. We go back a long way. We were at a private girls school and college together. We were very close and shared a room. She is married now with a young son so the switch to head hunting fitted her lifestyle as she can work from home. Devlin is her married name. I was chief bridesmaid at their wedding.

‘So Melanie jumped to conclusions?’

‘Yes but then she is still new in the job and she’ll get better as she matures. Unless of course you want to move jobs and be her secretary. It makes life a bit easier in some respects but then I don’t do easy as you’ve already realised.’

‘So my old job is still open? Will you be recruiting a female MD or is it not decided?’

‘It’s going to be up to Dee to decide the short list of candidates and you’ll obviously get to meet her when she arrives. She’s quite a woman. I could have easily fallen in love with her and we were inseparable until Aiden came on the scene. She fell head over heels and she knew him from home. He’s a neurosurgeon.’

‘Oh that’s nice. He must work hard and be well paid?’

‘Yes, don’t we all when we take on responsibility.’

‘Do you mind me asking if you’re in a relationship?’

‘Not at the moment. I’ve had a few narrow escapes but nobody has floated my boat yet. I guess I’d like a man with the personality and lots of the traits that Dee has. Maybe they don’t fit the stereotype man these days. Perhaps my character puts them off. I can’t help who I am I suppose.’

‘Well you deserve to meet someone special. He’ll be lucky when he finally turns up. As Fred Sirieix says when he introduces his show First Dates Hotel, there is someone out there for everyone. Perhaps you should visit his holiday hotel in Italy. It’s so romantic.’

‘Well I don’t get much time to watch programmes like that and I’ve never heard of it, nor of Fred for that matter. It sounds like the last straw and it’s not like I’m ready to settle down into a relationship yet and I’m not pining for children as much as my parents expect it of me. I get added pressure of course given my brothers situation and maybe you’ll be able to give me your opinion of him and his lifestyle after the weekend. Mum thinks our genes were mixed up a bit.’

‘Well it’s not like I’m an expert but I’m sure that the two of you meeting up and spending time together is a good thing.’

‘I’m looking forward to it and of course to the weekend with you. Thanks for agreeing to accompany me. It means a lot and I hope that a weekend away will do you good. We don’t have to stay long to the party. I’d like to relax a little again like we did last weekend. I might even take you to Harrods if you like. Have you spent much time in London?’

‘No just a couple of short trips on business. Well maybe four altogether when I think about it. On one occasion we attended a luncheon for the Institute of Directors since George was speaking. I was there for moral support I suppose. We ended up at a Gentlemen’s club for drinks with some customers then went on to Soho and they were buying drinks for hostesses that seemed inappropriate, so I left and went back to our hotel. I wondered why George suggested an overnight stay instead of taking the train home that evening.’

‘Well that’s why some men like business trips. They get away from their wives and behave like overgrown schoolboys. My uncles says I shouldn’t let it get to me but it does. I am pleased to hear that you didn’t approve and that you ducked out. By the way have you had a girlfriend. Or do you have one should I say. Or even I should have asked if you are in a relationship.’

‘None of those. I never had time or much of an inclination I suppose. I have been a loner most of my life. I got on more with the girls than the boys at school. I suppose they felt sorry for me in a way.’

‘Well, we both seem to have free time on our hands at the moment at weekends. I’d like to spend some time with you if you get bored. Maybe you can introduce me to your family, so they know that you are in good hands. Did you tell them about the changes?’

‘Not much point as they are all three in a poor state and hardly know where they are or what’s going on around them.’

‘So are you satisfied with what I’ve told you about my plans for the future and that Melanie and Sally had the wrong end of the stick.?

‘Thanks I doubted that they were right. So for this afternoon didn’t you have a meeting scheduled with the new CFO, Mrs Parkinson?

‘Yes but she has an urgent meeting at her current company so I’ve arranged to meet her this evening for dinner. Would you like to join us? ‘

‘Thanks but I shouldn’t as I ought to visit mum and dad. We are out in Manchester tomorrow evening. If it’s important for me to meet Mrs Parkinson then of course I’ll come.’

‘OK I fully understand. Of course you could leave work early if you’ve done what is urgent and collated and issued all the management reports as I asked. I assume that you contacted travel department and reserved seats on the train for London at the weekend? We travel first class by the way even though it’s not a business trip. I’ll sort out the cost at the end of the month. We don’t travel economy at our level.’

‘Yes I’ll ensure that everything is arranged. How are we getting to Manchester. Are you driving or do you want me to drive?’

‘I want you to book a car and driver please as we might have to take in a few drinks to get the information we need from Jack Waterton. It could be a late night. Can you take a drink? I hope so as I don’t want you to be ill. It’s part of the job and I always ensure I drink a lot of water over the course of the night. It means more trips to the bathroom but better to empty our bladders than our stomachs.’

I managed to get everything done by the time that Mrs Devlin arrived and happy to say she was 15 minutes early. What a beautiful woman and no sign she’d had a baby. She looked tall and slim as if she exercised regularly. She was probably around the same height as Emily and equally as attractive. Slightly red hair that I supposed was to be expected for an Irish lady. What a beautiful accent. As I collected her I was aware that in her heels she was slightly taller than me and she had a firm handshake. I thought she might have just left a salon she looked so good. She said she was pleased to meet me and that Emily had told her all about me changing roles from MD to her PA. I felt myself colour up but she said that Emily had spoken well of me and had been impressed with my commitment and support.

When we arrived at Emilys office Emily shot out of her chair and they hugged like long lost friends. I sorted out some water and some tea for both of them and then excused myself. Since I was now committed to meeting Emily and Ms. Parkinson later, I had little time to call home to change so I decided to let mum and dad meet me as I was dressed and hope that they weren’t too confused. I figured it was best to let the manager see me and let them know this would be the new me and seek their advice and co-operation in dealing with mum and dad.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 22

I finished my tasks so I could leave early that included making a reservation for dinner for Emily and Ms Parkinson. I told Emily that I’d try to meet them later and perhaps join them for desert or coffee. I’d explained to the restaurant who were very helpful since we’d used it many times when George and I visited for private meetings or with key customers. I wondered if they’d recognize me with the changes in my appearance but at least I knew they were discreet. I asked for a quiet table.

I was cutting it fine to spend time visiting mum and dad and then get back to meet Emily and Ms Parkinson, so I decided that I didn’t have time to go inside my apartment, so I exited the taxi and to collect my car from the multi-Storey. I really wished I’d had time to change into something more casual and less feminine because turning up wearing a skirt was probably asking for trouble. I was optimistic since I’d found a sympathetic manager who was helpful and understanding about my situation, but I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of other visitors if mum became stressed again. I decided to report directly to the manager’s office on arrival and his deputy was on duty who I’d met on my previous visit. She commented positively on my outfit and suggested that she introduce me as Julian’s girlfriend from work and that he was out of town on a business trip.
She suggested that if I was to visit regularly dressed as I was then I should keep up the façade since it was unlikely that she would understand that her son had become her daughter and appear as myself from time to time. She was deteriorating fast and soon she’d have no recollection of me or anybody else. So I agreed to introduce myself as a serious girlfriend and that we were living together and hoped we’d be married soon when mum was feeling better. She said this might help calm mum and hopefully she would co-operate more and eat properly and let the nurses help her to shower and dress. She had been refusing to take her medication. Dad was not a problem since his dementia was further advanced and the same for my aunt. Both were being well treated and seemed healthy although she told me that their memories were in serious decline.

I felt awkward and guilty initially because I was deceiving mum but gradually, I could see her eyes lighting up as if she was waking from a deep sleep. She didn’t reject me or cause a scene and she seemed really pleased to hear that her son had a steady girlfriend, so I was accepted with her arms reaching out and a smile. I stepped forward to hug her in her seat and our faces were close, but she didn’t recognize me under the make-up and with my hair styled. How could this be? We sat down and mum insisted to keep hold of my hand. She already seemed much more alert than in recent visits and very keen to chat. Usually, I couldn’t get a word out of her.

She asked if I liked him and if we were in love and if we would be having a family so she could be a grandmother. All in one short sentence. It was difficult to respond since I didn’t like telling lies and I was still her son dressed in female clothes and when she was fit and herself I’s expected her to be angry if she knew that I cross-dressed. But she seemed so happy. She sat up straight and took hold of both my hands and told me that I was beautiful and that I’d make wonderful bride. Then she put her arms around me and hugged me placing her head on my shoulder and I didn’t want her to let go. It had been ages since we’d hugged and at least it was some form of acceptance.

After a few minutes I was able to gently maneuver her back into her seat and pour some tea that had been delivered with some biscuits since it was normal practice during family visits. It felt weird for my own mum to be chatting to me as the girlfriend of her own son and be so welcoming to someone who was seemingly a perfect stranger. I had not seen mum smile at me the way she was doing now since I was a teenager. All because she believed that I had finally met a girl who I might marry and settle down with a family one day soon. I wished for her sake that all this was true but relationships and girlfriends had not been high on my agenda.

I kept expecting her to recognize me and then cry out or suddenly reject me as a stranger like she did in my previous visit. She became even more accepting and friendly asking me questions about where I came from and how long we’d been dating and where I lived. Then the bombshell question had we made love together and was I able to satisfy her as she had been satisfied when she first met my father.

This was getting too much for me and going too far too quickly. I wanted to tell the truth, but I couldn’t, she seemed to be chatting more normally than I’d seen in ages even if the subject was embarrassing for me. So, I played along and pretended to be shy. Due to her persistence, I finally told her that I had been part of Julian’s life since he was a teenager and eventually y a few years ago he’d plucked up the courage to ask me out. We’d kept our friendship secret because I had a long-term boyfriend and then after a few dates I knew this was serious. I then decided to say that we worked together and that a few weeks ago I’d moved in with him and was now part of his life.

She wanted to know why he’d never taken me home to meet her and dad. I suppose I answered truthfully saying that he was too shy to admit he had a girlfriend to anybody, and risk having to answer inquisitions and share his personal feelings. At first it seemed that mum accepted this explanation until I realized that she had probably become puzzled and confused again. But then she surprised me and shed a few tears. She looked into my eyes and just said that Julian was always shy and secretive, but he still did very well, and she was proud of him. Now I had to wipe a tear and look away. She took my arm and said now she felt sure that he was going to be very happy, and she was determined to get well as soon as possible to enjoy some time together. She asked if I’d visit again soon and take her out somewhere shopping. She wanted to find dad to tell him but she couldn’t find him anywhere. In truth his situation was deteriorating, and he was sedated.

The visit upset me, but the manageress was delighted that her suggestion had worked and at the response from mum. She was certain that mum had not realized she was talking to her son even though I’d had my doubts at times. I called in to see dad and my aunt, but neither were awake. They were sleeping like babies in their rooms. So peaceful with little hope of improvement so I was advised to visit as often as I liked and to spend as much time with mum as possible.

I burst out crying when I reached my car to leave. I could put up with the changes of my situation at work but watching my only family fade away was unbearable. Why was life so cruel’ I was determined to make the best of the situation whilst ever I could start with proving my innocence and establishing if Emily was being true to me. I couldn’t call home since the restaurant was at the other side of town, so I made a stop at a shopping arcade to freshen up and re-apply my make-up. At least mum liked me as Julie, so I was determined to make time to take her out whilst ever she was well enough. As long as she didn’t expect to go shopping for a wedding outfit.

By the time I arrived at the restaurant to meet Emily and Ms Parkinson I had recovered although I didn’t exactly look my best. The restrooms were not ideal for a make-over and paper towels weren’t a substitute for a soft towel.

When I reached the dining area, I was met by a familiar face who was the head waiter. He looked me up and down but didn’t say anything about recognizing me and just referred to me as Miss as he asked if he could help and if I was dining alone. When I told him I was meeting 2 guests and the company name the light went on. I knew that he was gay but not that that mattered much since he didn’t hide the fact. It was just that he seemed disappointed to see me as I was.

Emily and Ms Parkinson welcomed me and had just finished their main course. I was introduced as Julie Ann and Ms Parkinson insisted that I call her Pam. Emily asked about mum, but I didn’t want to say too much and just said she was better than I’d expected, and I was glad that I’d visited. Pam looked very professional, and I felt a little under dressed alongside the two of them.

.I ordered some fresh fruit as a desert and some coffee that I needed. Then they updated me on their conversation about George and their ideas for the visit to Manchester. They hoped that my appearance would deflect attention away from the real agenda that was to establish a connection between George and Jacks offshore companies. Pam had already established that George and Jack had been on a trip to Cayman Islands together that would have probably been to appoint the required company officers and bank accounts. There was no confirmation yet whether or not George had funded Jacks business in Manchester Time would tell.

Then I was asked to talk about other key staff in our organization and about the systems and procedures for financial approvals and expenditures. George did keep a lot of things to himself and dealt directly with Frobisher. Accounts were audited internally and by an outside audit company introduced by Frobisher that was not my decision. Emily had evidence to confirm my comment.

I gave a list of the key employees in the Finance department and their job titles and Pam said she’d be interviewing them one by one in the next few days. She wanted to install a new accounting software within the next few months for tighter control and focus on bad debts and cash control. We were too generous with suppliers and not firm enough with customers. All good stuff but say it easy.

I found Pam to be very astute and much sharper than Frobisher and I could see why she was rated by Emily. They were similar in personality, and both seemed to be out to prove themselves in what they perceived to be a man’s world. Sometimes they seemed to ignore that I was still a man underneath.

When we’d finished Emily paid the bill and then held me back to let Pam leave ahead of us. She said that she hoped I could see why she had appointed Pam and that she was a person of high integrity who had been head hunted by Dee Devlin. I said that I believed that she would stir things up and send a few ripples through the Company. She seemed nice too.

The other reason that Emily wanted to talk was to check how I’d been received at the care home since I was still in the outfit she’d recommended earlier in the day. I burst into tears and told her my concerns about all three of them but on the brighter side the manager had recommended she introduce me as my girlfriend, and it worked. Mum had seemed so pleased to hear that I was in a relationship and that we were in fact living together with plans to marry. Mum had seemed to come back to life.

‘Julie that’s amazing. I’ve been worried about you ever since you left the office. I’m so happy for you and I hope your mum wasn’t too confused.’

‘That’s the point. She wasn’t confused and she seems to look forward to me taking her out and to recovering enough to go home and be fit for my wedding.’

‘Well Julie I hope that I get invited. But joking apart I’ve heard certain things can stimulate a dementia patient and if you need my help at all I’ll be happy to assist.’

‘I might need your help with the wedding dress.’

‘Very funny. Come on we have another long day tomorrow and we need our beauty sleep.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 23

I arrived home almost buzzing as it sank in how well my visit to see mum had been and then as a result of the way I was being treated by Emily and accepted by Pam. I was pretty certain that neither were of the opinion that I had been involved in deception or fraud and if indeed George had been involved in something then I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. How could I not notice? If he was responsible then why didn’t I spot it, it was my job to operate the business. Emily was making a far better job of it than I had been doing.

I removed my make-up and took a nice relaxing bath before bed and then set out my outfit for work the following day and a casual outfit for the evening. I opted for black leggings and a brightly coloured top for Manchester that I felt was safer than wearing the sort of clothes I’d worn on previous visits to the Gay Village. I knew that the leggings showed off my best features that were my well rounded and firm buttocks and hopefully Jack would be distracted if our chat was not progressing very well. I had some butt lift spandex underwear to help and to keep my frontage as flat as possible. I preferred to avoid tape since I didn’t think I could last all evening without a visit or two to the bathroom. I was hoping that Jack would be more friendly if he thought I was transgender like him.

I was up early since I was apprehensive about the meeting with Jack Garside and had not decided how to broach the subject of Georges involvement in setting up and funding of Jacks business and I needed a plan. Emily wouldn’t be able to help me much since she’d need to keep a low profile. In some respects, I thought it might be better if I was alone and Emily stayed somewhere close. The difficulty would be that being alone in the Gay Village might not be the wisest thing to do as tough as Emily appears at work.

I sat eating my morning muesli and sipping my coffee with the morning news on in the background. I started making a few notes on my scribble pad that usually was a list of shopping items I needed. First, I needed to explain my change in appearance since the last time I’d met Jack when she was Jackie. It had been a while and before she started her testosterone treatment and started living full time as Jack. George had confided in me and explained how sad he was to lose the chance of grandchildren but how proud he was to have the son he’d always wanted. Jacqueline had struggled in her early years through school and insisted to be called Jackie and she’d stood up to bullies. Most were girls not boys and whilst I never said anything to George I had suffered bullying problems too so I could relate.
George did tell me that Jackie was doing well at college and that she had started her own business and moved to Manchester and invested in a girlfriends bar/restaurant and seemed to be in a relationship. I didn’t realise that it was in the Gay Village that I’d visited a few times with friends. George never told me the name of the bar and I may well have visited it without knowing. As far as I knew Jackie was in a lesbian relationship and then she started living as a man and became Jack.

I felt it would be better if I showed interest in how Jack had dealt with her transition on the basis that I felt that I was born in the wrong body that meant I had been discriminated at work ever since George had left. My boss seemed to like humiliating me and my secretary, Sally had suggested that I resign and take legal action but my financial situation was not adequate to take the risk and I had heavy bills. I needed George but had to keep my distance but I needed to let him know that there was suspicion of fraud and both of us were the subject of scrutiny. I could try to feed back any information I could but not directly.

I hoped that would sound plausible and that Jack would act as an interface if I visited his partners bar regularly and met him. I thought I needed some sort of evidence of an investigation and hoped that Emily could give me ideas and agree to provide something. It had to be to do with possible involvement with an offshore company and not declaring it with the Company. I couldn’t think of a Plan B if this didn’t work. I would consult with Emily during the day.

I felt different today and I cleared my dish and mug and ate an apple whilst I went through what I might do if Jack became suspicious. There wasn’t much I could do if he didn’t believe me so I really had to act like the victim at work because of my gender confusion that had been exacerbated due to the sudden departure of George and my demotion to PA. I could say that I liked this change in role that suited me better but I’d have preferred that it was George who was my boss than this cruel and arrogant woman who had taken his job. I felt tears welling in my eyes so I found a tissue. I felt so emotional now that I’d not experienced to such an extent before, even when being bullied.

I felt that by coming to terms with adopting more of a feminine persona I was more comfortable with make-up and a skirt. I took a quick shower and readied myself for work. I took more time than I should have done because I kept stopping and admiring the image in front of me. This was what I’d dreamed of and I had Emily to thank for recognising it and giving me the push I needed. In a short time she seemed to understand me better than anybody.

I arrived at work a little earlier than usual and had left everything ready in my apartment for a quick change and freshen up before being collected by the car and driver I’d booked. We would collect Emily enroute since her apartment was on the way to the motorway.

Emily was already in her office when I arrived at my desk, and she’d left some fresh flowers to put in vases for her office and my side table. Another new job for me that I’d never experienced before. I knocked and opened her door and said good morning and took two vases from what used to be my cupboard. She said that I looked nice and that I smelled nice as I asked if we could chat later about tonight. I went to put the flowers in the vases before the office became busy and set off the coffee percolator. Hopefully it would still be at least half full by the time I got back from taking the vases to my desk.

When I returned Sally was there and she smiled and asked if I’d set off the coffee and ensured I filled our flask. She complemented me on my outfit and in turn I said that I was glad to see how well she looked and said that pregnancy suited her. She felt much better without experiencing the early morning sickness due to a change in her diet and some stomach medicine. I told her about my visit with mum and dad and what the manageress had suggested that worked. Mum had believed that I was my own girlfriend that amazed Sally and I admitted that her acceptance was a big relief since I could visit without worrying about changing clothes. We agreed to have a quick lunch together to chat more.

In my meeting with Emily later in the morning I outlined my ideas for the meeting with Jack that she felt should work. She agreed to provide some evidence of her scrutiny of Georges possible involvement with an offshore company in Virgin Islands which of course was a red herring. She told me that she would dress more appropriately for a visit to the Gay Village and find a friendly bar close to where I’d be meeting Jack and keep in touch by text. I told her that I was worried about her being alone but she assured me that she could handle herself and at the appropriate time she would join us once I was sure that Jack would not recognise who she was.

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. ‘Jack has a girlfriend so why not you?’

I confirmed the arrangements I’d made for the car and driver before I went to lunch and updated Emily. She went to a meeting in the Board Room and Melanie was involved so Sally and I took advantage to take an early lunch. Sally wanted more detail about mums reaction to her sons surprise girlfriend who appeared out of nowhere. I told her that she’d moved in with me and we were talking of wedding bells. Mum had become more chatty that for a long time and she seemed to be stimulated by the news. It could go wrong but equally she might not remember any of it next time I visited.
At least the discussion about mums reaction to me presenting as my girlfriend kept us off the topic of Emily taking advantage of me and setting me up for a fall.

After lunch Emily called me into her office and provided me with ‘evidence of a Group Board Meeting’ to show Jack if necessary. It was supposed to be a copy of a notice to Board Members issued by her uncle reminding them to declare all outside interests, particulary involvement with offshore companies. There was even an extract from Board Minutes that looked genuine so we agreed that this ought to be enough to alert Jack and be fed back to George.

Both Emily and I left work early and I arranged that we’d pick her up at 6pm since it would take us about an hour before we were dropped off in the Gay Village. The driver would pick us back up around 11pm and would park close by.

I was nervous but excited as I got ready and changed into the outfit I’d set aside. Somehow the leggings worked much better than a skirt and gave me added confidence. I didn’t need any padding since I was blessed with natural curves and with the spandex underwear nothing more than a slight bulge was evident at the front. I’d plenty of experience of tucking myself and I managed to create a thigh gap that was another advantage of wearing tight leggings.

The driver called me to tell me he was parked outside and I thought I recognised the voice. To my horror it was a middle aged ex-employee of the company’s bank who I’d met several times at the bank. He looked at me with a puzzled expression. ‘Julian is that you?’

I was taken aback and stuttered a response. ‘Yes it is Wayne. Please keep this to yourself. We are having a night out in Manchester with a customer who is into this sort of thing and asked us to participate.’

‘Wow you look amazing. Better be careful. Don’t tell me you’re going with George?’

‘No chance. He is not with us anymore he is on leave and probably will retire.’

‘Oh well do give him my regards. Are we collecting your client? Or somebody else from your company?’
‘The latter. She is my girlfriend and she’s joining us to ensure that we don’t get into any trouble. Anyway what are you doing driving a car for our courier service company?’

‘I became obsolete. Banking is not the same with so much business online these days. It’s a young man’s game. Well young woman’s game if the truth be known. My job was taken by a young girl I’d trained a few years ago and she was promoted above me then she made me redundant. I’ve got a pension and a payoff, so this job keeps me occupied. For now, at least.’

I quickly sent a text to Emily asking her not to talk about George or her position since the driver used to work for the bank and knew both George and I. She responded immediately with OK that was a relief. I then said that I’d panicked and told the driver that Emily was my girlfriend from work and that she was accompanying me and we were meeting a customer who enjoyed visiting gay bars and regularly dressed in womens clothes. I said I was sorry but that was the best I could come up with on the spot.

When we arrived Emily was outside waiting. She looked amazing and I couldn’t believe it was her. She was wearing a low-cut figure-hugging bright yellow ress that finished half way up her thigh showing her stunning legs. She had at least 5” heels on so she would tower above me. Wayne let out a long wow and a comment. ‘Lucky you Julian. I think I’m gay if this attracts girls like her.’

Wayne jumped out to open the door and Emily slid alongside me and shocked me by kissing me passionately on the lips.

‘Hi Jules. That was a rush so I hope I haven’t kept you waiting. I hope you like my outfit. I wasn’t sure what to wear since we will be with your best customer. He’s notlikely to be turned on I hope. You said he’ll be in drag and most girls in the clubs like to show their assets.’

I could hardly speak. Emily had kissed me passionately and I was still trying to take in her body and her legs even though I’d seen them almost naked at the Spa. Adding a dress that showed her full cleavage and strong thighs had a dramatic effect. I suddenly felt the pull on my spandex panties. She smelled wonderful. I knew that there was a danger of Wayne being distracted driving on the motorway and saw his eyes light up in the drivers mirror.

Emily took my hand and leaned into me. She smiled and winked then whispered ‘Play along then’
I nervously responded and leaned across and kissed her on the lips. ‘There you are you minx. Have some of your lippy back.’

‘Oh Jules I’m so looking forward to meeting your friend. If he looks as good as you then I’ll be spoiled for choice. Is he bringing anybody with him?’

‘I’m not sure yet. He has a boyfriend, but he gets a bit jealous if he’s left alone and not centre of attention and this is supposed to be part business.’

‘Well Jules I don’t mind if she drags him away early. We can always hit a few bars on our own. I’m in the mood for a good time and it could be your lucky night.’

Emily more or less behaved herself for the rest of the journey with occasional lapses and each time she did she hitched up her skirt a little and I saw Wayne straining to get a better view. It was hard for me to tell whether Emily was putting on a show or being serious. She kept giggling which was so unusual since she seemed mature beyond her years at work. She was like a student on a night out dressed to kill. Her beauty put my efforts to shame.

Wayne dropped us close to the Gay Village on Princess Street that was close to the bar/club that is owned by Jack and his partner. We agreed he would pick us back up at the same place where Wayne could park and wait if necessary. I called Jack to let him know I’d arrived and he suggested to meet at a bar close to the canal that was quieter than most early evening and he’d arrive in about 15 to 20 minutes. Emily and I quickly walked their and found it and Emily found a suitable vantage point where she could sit at the end of the bar and get a wide view. My knees were trembling as I ventured alone to the bar and ordered a drink that was a weak vodka and tonic. Hopefully I could top up with tonic or even water if necessary to stay as sober as possible.

Since it was still quite early the bar wasn’t crowded and I found a small table with 2 seats by the window. I just hoped that Jack would arrive soon and that I’d recognise him. He had never seen me dressed as a woman so the responsibility was on me to watch out for men who were alone that seemed strange. I was approached a couple of times in the next 5 minutes but neither were old enough to be Jack. Then I recognised a face who was standing at the bar that I guessed was Jack. He was certainly different in his overall frame and stature but his features were still quite feminine. I waved as discreetly as I could hoping it was him and not someone who thought it was his lucky night. Emily was being chatted up by two guys as I glanced across and seemed to be joking with them.
Then I had a tap on my shoulder. ‘Julian is that you?’

It was Jack and he had appeared without me noticing him leaving the bar.

‘Yes. Hi it’s me but it’s Julie Ann now. You look so different, and I’m impressed. I’m so glad to meet you again and thanks for agreeing to meet me. I’m going through a difficult stage since your father went on paid leave and I miss him terribly. He was my mentor and I’m struggling with my identity and have nobody to help me. My only family are in a care home and all three are struggling and won’t return home..’

‘Let me get you a drink to calm you down and if I can help then I will of course.’

He brought me another gin and tonic but this one almost took my breath away. ‘That’s a real one with proper gin not one for casual visitors. I know the owner Cheers.’

I took another sip and this time I caught the flavour. I liked the taste.

Jack took the other seat and I noted the way he was sitting with his legs sprawled whilst I had to sit upright with mine crossed. ‘I must say Julie Ann you look cute and your make-up is impressive. Have you been to a salon?’

‘No this is my handiwork although I’ve had some coaching. ‘

Our small talk continued and I looked across at Emily a few times for reassurance. She seemed to be safe and comfortable and was chatting to the bar staff. Jack asked if I’d travelled alone and if I felt comfortable dressed as I was in a bar. I told him it was my first experience alone although I’d visited this part of Manchester several times with friends. I then said that I’d come with a girlfriend who would be meeting me later when I sent her a message since I wanted to chat with Jack alone.

‘So why the secrecy?’

‘Well as you can see I’m now dressing as a woman and I want to move on and consider taking hormones and maybe have a boob job and even more intrusive surgery when I can afford it. I just thought you might give me the benefit of your experience and also I wanted to try to get a message to George if you don’t mind.’

‘Well I’m not an expert on male to female and as you see I took testosterone and changed the other way. I’ve had a mastectomy and a hysterectomy, and the course of treatment was quite intrusive so I had to put up with a lot of scrutiny and prodding about. No point trying to be fitted with a penis though since I didn’t much care for the final result. I prefer to have some satisfaction and use my strap-on.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 24

I was a little surprised how open Jack had been about her/his transformation and it made me want to ask more detail, but I was cautious because I didn’t know him all that well. George never mentioned about her sex change and it was at least 2 years since we’d met at one of his social evenings. Also, I caught Emily’s glance that reminded me that my priority was to find out what I could about Jacks business association with his father and not to get distracted too much.

Looking into Jacks face up close, as I’d observed, he still had feminine characteristics and he looked more like his mother than George but now he had a beard of sorts and a more prominent forehead. I wondered if he’d struggled at first to be convincing as a man although he was clearly much stronger now and he was as tall as me even though I was wearing heels. I couldn’t imagine her/him as a criminal since he was charming and very polite. Neither could I see George cheating the company. How could it be possible that they would resort to criminal actions to fund their own business and for George to deceive the company and auditors without somebody becoming suspicious? I still wanted them to be innocent even though they were considered guilty by what had been uncovered to date.

‘Are you OK Julian, sorry Julie Ann, you’ve gone quiet all of a sudden.’

‘Sorry, it’s just that you made me wonder what you’d gone through to reach this stage and how you managed to come out looking so good with a girlfriend and a business. I’ve done nothing but worry about my future and how to move on and with Mum and dad in care I feel I’m letting them down. I’m not even telling mum the truth and she even believed I was my own girlfriend yesterday who had agreed to marry me. I feel so guilty. You seem to have settled into a nice life here in Manchester. I thought you lived in London and had a good job in the City.’

‘Yes, I did but it was really high pressure job for little reward. To be honest it was no job for a man let alone a single woman with everybody competing for the same opportunities and no one to unload problems to or cuddle up to at night. I hardly slept for days on end especially if I was involved in flotations on the stock market. It’s fast moving and everything happens at 100 mph so mistakes are bound to happen. The hours are crazy because of deadlines and meeting after meeting and the job depends on commissions and bonuses. It’s just nonstop trying to prepare for presentations and set up meetings. For a while I was a floor trader at the stock market. You wouldn’t believe what goes on if I told you. I was in a poor state of health and I almost ended it all.’

‘So what happened to turn it around if you don’t mind telling me? Did you just pack in? You seem very happy living as a man, and you seem physically strong body and much more muscular than ever I have been. So natural.’

‘It took me 12 months to build this physique and that’s not including the time I spent preparing for surgery and then going through the process. In truth I’ve been living as a man now for about two and a half years. The last time I recall meeting you I was still able to hide the changes and appear as female.’

‘No wonder George kept things to himself. You must have had a real struggle. He did tell me about your hormone treatment and his pride in you as a son but not much else. My situation is nothing by comparison.’

‘Do you intend living full time as a woman then? Or do you just dress for fun like lots around here?’

‘In truth Jack I don’t know at the moment. I never intended dressing full time but it’s sort of happened. Now I’m really struggling and it’s only recently that I’ve dared dress like this at work. My new boss is accepting, and she has pushed me into a secretary type job that at first I thought was to humiliate me and get me to resign. Since she arrived, I’ve lost all my authority and I’m in a deep hole. I’ve wanted to talk with George, but I was warned to keep my distance. There are some things going on so please tell him to be careful and anyway I can’t face letting him see me like this or how I’ve been forced into this new role and pushed into femininity. Imagine what he would think of me seeing how I caved in and how far I’ve let this go in such a short time.’

‘Look Julian I had a similar situation. It got really nasty and dangerous. I got involved with the wrong sort of people. Investment bankers and traders just work and play, and lots rely on stimulants and boosters to even get up in a morning and go to work. I looked like shit and I soon got addicted. I didn’t recognise myself and when dad saw me he stepped in. It’s a hard habit to break and it’s not cheap. On top of losses I was making as a floor trader, largely through bad advice and bad tips, I was spending a fortune on stronger stimulants and became addicted. As well as the money I was spending on drugs the rental cost of my place in London was a far beyond my means. I was never there. My bills and my debts racked up and I almost ended up in the river Thames and dad found out.’

‘So how did you break the downward spiral?’

‘Dad took control of my finances and spent 2 weeks with me. He told everybody he was on a business trip but he was in London all the time. He confronted the pushers and stopped access to me. He settled all my debts to stop the threats and I immediately felt the pressure lift. He bought my apartment, albeit at an inflated price, that freed me from my high rent problem, and I managed to think straight so I was able to regain control of my decision making. He was spending more time with me whilst he stayed in London and that was when he really accepted me as a son rather than as a daughter. He supported me even though mum was none too happy and didn’t agree with my lifestyle or plans.’

‘I don’t know how he managed to focus on supporting me with so much going on at his work so credit to him and thanks to you for your part in covering for him. So I owe you too and I won’t forget.’

I did absorb the added pressure for me that I was glad to take but I just wish George had talked to me. He must have had some sleepless nights. What a dilemma.

‘Yes, but he said he had outside pressures but it was under control. He called it family business and said that family should take care of themselves.’

Well Julie Ann the upside, if there was one was he was giving me support and accepting me as a son. It was something I’d always craved for. I then found that living as a man gave me considerably more confidence in my decision making and I was soon treated differently by colleagues.’

‘It’s funny because in my case I felt quite the reverse. The pressures of being a man and a son didn’t seem to fit properly with me and I know that mum really wanted a daughter.’

Whether or not Jack was listening I wasn’t sure but he just carried on and opened up even more saving me the problem of asking awkward questions.’ Whilst dad was negotiating the purchase of my apartment, he checked me into a rehabilitation centre to deal with my drug problem that fortunately was caught in time. I steer well clear nowadays. Then he encouraged me to leave my job as a floor trader and he set up a property investment company registered in our joint names. He put up all the guarantees and arranged our bank facilities through his contacts and somebody from work did the business plan and found an accountant and someone to provide the admin support.’

‘Wow. All this whilst running our business. He never said a word to me, even in confidence.’
‘I think he intended to inform you, but he didn’t want you to get into trouble I suppose.’
‘Well, I’d have done anything for him.’

‘It’s done now and whilst he is on leave and it’s doing him good if you ask me. He can at least focus more on our business and he is like a new man. It’s something that he really enjoys.’

‘So you are now much closer since you moved to Manchester so who is running the bar and the club?’

‘That’s all under the control of my girlfriend aided by her two brothers. They were happy to get involved and we my girlfriend is a shareholder. It’s set up as a company with a few other bits and pieces of business linked including our Property Investment Company. We own a few properties in the UK and offshore. Dad looks after them with a silent partner. So everything is under control and our business is doing fine. My girlfriend loves the bar/club business so we don’t need to interfere too much. Customers really like her and it expanded as word spread around the village. It has become a popular spot already. It’s hard work for the 3 of them but she likes being in charge. I daren’t interfere.’

‘I’m so pleased for you Jack, and for George. At least he’s now doing what he likes most and reports to no-one. I’m glad that he was able to support you in your decisions. Sadly, I’m all alone in that respect.’

‘Well Julian just try to keep optimistic and you never know what the future might bring. Try to decide if this is the real you and that you are prepared to live the life you want. You do look comfortable and I could never wear such clothes. I hated femininity and being the focus of men’s leering. Not that I ever tried to look glamourous.’

‘You always looked fine to me. I never saw you in make-up or a skirt or dress but you had a nice figure.’

‘That was the top of my list to change. I used to bind as tightly as I could and I hated my hips and large thighs. It’s taken a lot of effort to slim down and at least I don’t need to bind anymore.’

‘What a pity that we are born in bodies that feel all wrong. It is really getting to me lately.’

‘Anytime you need a shoulder to discuss the options and how best to proceed don’t hesitate to call me. I’m sure that hormones will help like they did with me. You are very lucky to have inherited features that make it easier for you to pass. Think positive and I’m sure that you will be amazed at the effects that hormones will have on you. Not just your appearance but how you’ll feel.’

‘But Jack just to let you know that I’m not necessarily considering hormone treatment. I still don’t really know if this is how I want to live the rest of my life.’

‘Julian I’ll promise to keep in touch and to have a word with dad. I’m sure you’ll benefit from his support if your family are too ill to discuss things with you. He’ll want to help since he had a lot of time for you.’

‘Thanks Jack that would be great. But please tell your dad that I’m not expecting any financial support just moral support and advice. Is he thinking of finding another position as a Chairman/CEO or sticking with your business?’

‘You’ll have to ask him as I’ve no idea. He’s abroad at the moment enjoying his freedom and time with mum, taking in some sunshine and relaxation.’

‘Oh. Anywhere nice? I’d love to be relaxing in the sunshine by a pool.’

‘They fell in love with the climate and lifestyle in the Caribbean and went back to look at buying a vacation home where they’d spend winters. No doubt they are enjoying themselves and they do enjoy dining in the open on fresh seafood. Helps dad control his weight.’

It seemed like things were adding up without me needing to say much about the board minutes so I decided to wait a little to see what more information Jack divulged. He seemed to trust me and maybe he saw me as a loyal ally of his dad who had nowhere to turn. Emilys suspicions could still be right of course because Georges salary wasn’t that great and hard to see how he might accrue sufficient wealth to bail out Jack and invest in property even with his bonuses. Was he holidaying in the Caribbean? Was he buying properties there? I held back from asking if this was the Cayman Islands. Somehow, I didn’t want it to be the case.

.’Well then Julian how about we go to our bar and you can meet my girl Gemma and then tell us what you think? All feedback will be welcome.’

‘OK Jack but let me visit the restrooms first since I’ve not been since we left home. I don’t have a womans capacity unfortunately.’

I needed the chance to let Emily know how open Jack had been without any pressure from me and that he wanted to head to their bar. She joined me in the restroom and checked for any other visitors. All was clear so I rattled off what Jack had told me so far full of excitement that she had to calm me down. ‘Look Jules I agree that you should keep developing Jacks trust and his sympathy.’

She decided it was better that she kept a low profile and find me in the bar later and I could message her as if we’d agreed to meet at a set time to go clubbing. Jack was waiting as I exited and fortunately Emily hung back giving us time to leave the bar. It was getting busy outside and Jack pointed me towards their bar that was only 5 minutes walk away. It was bustling with a crowd spilled onto the pavement outside and Jack had difficulty moving through since he was so well known.
We made it to the end of the bar and Jack pointed to the busy bar staff and to the beautiful blonde lady who seemed to be centre of attention. Jack waved her over.

‘Gemma, this is a young woman I wanted you to meet, Georges girl Julie Ann. Not Julian as I might have mentioned but his daughter. You might have more in common than you think.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 25
I was a surprised at Jacks comment and obviously looked puzzled as Gemma wiped her hands with a cloth and then reached over the bar to shake hands. She had a strong handshake and a bigger hand than mine. Her fingernails were expertly manicured and polished in a deep red colour. She had several bracelets on her right wrist and a matching gold necklace that hung almost to her ample breasts which were on full display in a low-cut top. I remember thinking ‘the typical British barmaid.’

‘Welcome Julie. Nice to meet you at last since George has spoken a lot about you. Forgive Jacks humour he was always envious of your relationship with his father. He always said that he treated you like the son he’d always wanted. Jack wanted the same treatment. You look very nice tonight. I’m quite envious. I’ll have to keep an eye on Jack. You are just his type.’

Jack smiled and shrugged his shoulders and responded ‘ She’s so jealous if I even look at anybody, let alone speak to them. I can’t wait to let dad know how nice you look. Can we have a selfie. The three of us together at the bar.’

Gemma came to our side of the bar. She was at least 3 inches taller than Jack and I but I did notice she was wearing heels. They were three- or 4-inch heels I guessed similar to mine. She took hold of my hand and opted to be in the centre of the photo and seemed to thrust out her bosom’s putting mine to shame. My frame seemed smaller than hers and then I realised what Jack had meant when he said Gemma and I had more in common than I might think. Surely she wasn’t transgender as well. We’d understood Jack and George had set up the business with 3 siblings and it was 2 brothers and a sister.

I smiled weakly as Jack took several photos at arms length and then he asked a customer to take 2 more with us in full picture. It certainly looked like 2 females with a handsome guy rather than the other way around. Maybe Jack and Gemma had met in the Village since there were so many bars with transvestites, drag queens and transgender people.

I looked across the bar whilst Jack and Gemma checked through the photos and the two main bar staff had a look of Gemma. One attractive young woman in her mid-twenties and a male about 5 or 6 years older. It made sense if Gemma was indeed transgender since the female looked like her sibling and there were allegedly 2 brothers and a sister. Maybe she had appeared as a drag artist which is how they’d met or they’d been in a group that gathered to help each other deal with their gender issues. Hopefully all will become clear as the night progressed. She wasn’t a typical drag artist like those on Rue Pauls Drag Race and more the buxom bar maid displaying her assets to attract customers and flirting with them across the bar.

I tried my best not to be too inquisitive and opted to treat Gemma as a birth female to be on the safe side. Maybe Jack would tell me later when we were alone. Then they hugged each other, kissed a little and Gemma returned to the other side of the bar. Quite a few customers were arriving with some in party mood and clearly celebrating. One group of young women was particularly noisy since it was a hen party with the bride dressed up and she was clearly intent on getting drunk since she held a bottle of champagne that she was drinking directly from the bottle causing it to fizz and spill down her frontage. Gemma leaned across the bar and took control to calm them down. Then she arranged for a DJ to start the music to distract them and get them to dance and quiet down. It had a marginal effect.

Jack took me to quiet corner to sit down so we could at least hear each other. ‘Well what do you think of Gemma?’

‘She seems to be in control of the place and very confident. She is stunning. Does she sing at all?’

‘Sometimes of course but mainly she acts as bar manager and compare. That’s how we met. She was performing in one of the clubs and she invited me on stage to sing a duet. We had a fun night so I returned there a few times and we’d have a laugh and sometimes hit the other bars and clubs. She accepted me as male. You have realised that she was a male once upon a time haven’t you?’

‘Not really. Well I wasn’t certain but at one point I did wonder. She has amazing breasts and she is very pretty. Her make-up is immaculate.’

‘Yes dad thinks she’s beautiful too and he couldn’t believe her bust was almost natural. Mum is not so sure about our relationship, especially since she was a drag queen but then she looked on the upside and realised that unless we both had surgery she has a chance of grandchildren one day. I don’t much fancy the idea of waddling around for 6 months though with a large belly.’

‘So you have a normal arrangement between the bed sheets then?’

‘If you mean we have a good sex together then of course we do. I always take the lead role though and initiate things. Often she is too tired after being behind the bar all evening but she almost always joins in. I am pretty good at bringing her little man to attention.’

It was a good point for me to switch subjects to talk about George and work. I told Jack that I had access to some of the senior management meeting notes and heard snippets of discussions between Group Board Members involving the Chairman. It seemed there was an investigation underway related to corruption and George was implicated. They didn’t seem to have any proof at this stage, but I’d seen meeting notes suggesting that he had set up offshore companies and diverted company funds that I didn’t believe. I wanted to help George if I could, but it was extremely difficult and dangerous.

Jacks expression changed. Suddenly he looked angry but he stayed silent. I don’t think that he was certain whether or not I could be trusted. I felt nervous and bit on my finger looking around to avoid eye contact. After a minute or so Jack seemed to calm a little and he responded.

‘We need to get you and dad together, I think. Somewhere safe and private. I’m concerned in case dad is in danger and under surveillance so we might have to take care with telephone calls and text messages. I’m sure that he’s done nothing to justify such suspicion and scrutiny. Why don’t they just meet him face to face? Who are these people? They seem to be quick to judge. I appreciate you letting me know a little of what is going on. But please be careful. I’ll update him.’

‘I owe your father so much for his support and the chances he gave me. I am so annoyed about the way he has been treated. Do you think you should that I should interrupt his vacation and let him know that he is under suspicion.’

‘Don’t fret Julie he has done nothing that implicates you. He used lots of his business and banking contacts to help fund his investments and re-pay my debts. They set up businesses offshore to limit access to their dealings. It’s what happens every day of the week in high office. Government ministers and even Vice Presidents do it, allegedly of course. Politics seems full of people who take advantage of their position. It’s how things get done and it’s human nature for people to take advantage of information that comes their way. It’s not a given that it will result in large profits. Dad wouldn’t ever steal anything and I added to his problems. I think the worst he’s done is just act on information at his disposal and leak it.’

‘Yes maybe. Don’t forget in big organisations Directors have a responsibility to disclose their dealings and particularly if they set up offshore companies.’

‘OK I understand that but does it say anything about the obligations of friends and family in these rule books?’

‘Not that I know of but I have a copy of the Board Minutes in my purse where the Company Chairman reminded Directors about the rules for disclosing information about involvement in offshore companies. Here you can have this copy if you keep it confidential. Maybe you can talk with George later and remind him?’

‘Of course. Just keep calm and let us deal with it. Enough for now the show is starting because Gemmas sister, Amy, is at the back of the bar and Gemma has disappeared. Let’s relax a little and have a few drinks since you’ve come all this way and you are all glammed up. Let’s enjoy the show that will be starting soon. I’ll let you know dads response sometime tomorrow, but it might be late due to the time difference at his holiday venue.’

‘Do you mind if I call my friend and ask her to join us?’

‘Why not, that’s fine by me. As long as she doesn’t mind the gay scene and watching Drag Acts.’

‘Actually, she’s arrived already. She was worried about me for some reason. She’s been keeping an eye on us from the end of the bar. She was over there talking to an attractive young woman.’

‘How funny. That woman she has been chatting to is Amy. She and her brother William are silent partners in this place. You should know that Amy is gay so is your girlfriend gay too?’
‘Yes but not fully out.’

‘Amy likes women but she is a straight lesbian if there is such a thing. She likes independent women who can stand up for themselves. She’s not trans and she has no intention of following mine or Gemma’s examples. She especially likes tall and very feminine women and it looks like they have been having a good time. I’ve been watching them for a while. She isn’t usually distracted from serving at the bar. I’m not surprised she took interest since I have been fancying your friend myself. When I saw her come in I knew she wasn’t straight. I can spot them from a mile. I’m only looking though. Gemma keeps me under a tight reign and I’ve felt her piercing eyes already warning me to behave myself.’

‘So you saw her straight away even though she promised to keep a low profile?’

‘Not trying very hard with a figure like hers and in a dress that screams look at me.’

‘I guess not.’

I realised that the attention that Emily was receiving made me feel a little jealous. I would rather have been spending my evening with her and relaxing than being involved in trying to nail George to the cross. Better she made her own judgement rather than relying on me. Tonight as I looked at the bar I didn’t see my boss but a beautiful young woman smiling and joking. At work she was professional with a ruthless streak who didn’t take any prisoners. She was skilled enough to take over the jobs of myself and George with moderate ease. Why couldn’t I match her management skill and ability to assess situations decide what was needed and take action. I realised how weak I’d been as MD.

Jack was distracted to talk with a staff member so I sipped my drink and looked around. I didn’t get out much socially and this was a change for me. What I was realising day by day was that even though work was Emilys absolute priority she still found time to treat me with kindness and I was enjoying my new role. I liked being at her beck and call because she made me feel so special. Already I would do anything she asked. I wanted to spend more time with her and I wanted this evening to be a success and to make her proud of me.

I thought ahead to the weekend. With tonights feedback after talking with Jack I hoped that we would now be able to relax and then enjoy a nice time together in London. I’d never expected to feel in awe of a female boss before and she was like no other woman I’d ever met.

I managed to catch her eye and she smiled. I think that she had realised that something had happened. She seemed to sense that she had been rumbled and I hoped she didn’t think that I’d told Jack who she really was or that he’d found out somehow. I couldn’t text her since Jack was now sitting close to me so the best I could come up with was to smile and wave so that it put her on her guard. Jack then stood up and said he was going for a word with Amy and he was away before I had chance to stop him. I followed as quickly as I could in my heels.

As I approached Jack had already outstretched his hand to introduce himself as part owner of the bar. Emily looked so comfortable with her legs crossed exposing some thigh and Jacks eyes didn’t miss them. As she uncrossed her legs and slipped off the stool he moved forward to kiss her cheek. He said that I’d told him that she was my friend and guardian for the evening so he wanted her to join us for drinks at his table so that we could watch the live show that was about to start.

Emily smiled and looked at me and nodded. Jack told her that it was a drag show with lots of blue material so he hoped she wouldn’t be offended. It didn’t seem to worry him that it might upset me of course but then I’d seen plenty and more than likely I’d have seen tonight’s artist. I was introduced to his sister-in-law, Amy. Emily raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. I quickly said they were joint owners of the venue but it seemed that Emily had worked that out and had been doing her own fishing. She winked at me.

Jack spoke up ‘ You two look to be having a good time. I didn’t really like disturbing you both but please join us at our table. It’s better than a seat at the bar. Amy will get the drinks and arrange cover for herself so she can take a break.’

He guided us towards his reserved table at the side of the small stage and once we were seated Amy arrived with the drinks. A fresh vodka and tonic for me and one for herself and two tumblers of whisky with ice for Jack and Emily.

As Jack toasted us I looked around to see that the room was filling quickly with a mix of customers in all types of outfit. It seemed to be a popular venue for transvestites and lesbian couples sprinkled with some outrageously dressed drag queens and a few drag kings. Some I recognised from my previous visits to the Gay Village but I’d never been to Jacks place or been dressed as I was in more regular feminine attire. I felt a little out of place and Emily and I must have stuck out like sore thumbs.

The lights dimmed and Gemma appeared on the small stage with a mic. She welcomed everybody and then singled out myself and Emily as friends of the family visiting for the first time. There was muffled applause and then she told a few blue jokes before the first performer came through the curtains. Her voice was clearly deep for even a barmaid but nobody seemed to be able to concentrate. She was a natural comedienne and she looked the part. The first act was not quite as OTT as those who appear in Ru Pauls drag race but still very funny and entertaining.

As the room quietened as the act finished Amy returned to her bar duties in anticipation of a sudden rush and Jack then introduced himself properly to Emily as the son of my former boss. I was careful not to intervene and Emily said that she was working on an assignment and was based down South near Cambridge. She had moved around quite a lot since her father was in the forces. To answer a question from Jack she said that we’d met at a mutual friend’s wedding and been on a table of singletons sitting next to each other. She felt that I was quiet and shy for a young man but she’d taken a fancy to me. She’d had to work hard to get me chatting but managed and thought that we were a good match. If only it was true. Then she said that we had been dating on and off for a few months and eventually she’d worked out that I liked to visit certain bars and like feminine things. She knew that I regularly visited Leeds and Manchester with friends who had the same interests.

When Jack looked at me I nodded my agreement so he seemed satisfied with Emilys explanation. But she couldn’t stop and embellished it further.

‘It took me a while to encourage Julian to let me meet Julie Ann and I saw a different person who I liked even more. Now we are having fun as girlfriends and I’ve invited her to London to have a weekend break together to be my date at a party. She needs a break because recently she’d had problems at work. She’s been side-lined and her boss sacked and replaced. I want her to spend a weekend as a girlfriend without telling anybody who she was. This is who she is and as you see for yourself Jack she is beautiful.’
‘Yes I agree Emily. You make a good pair. You seem perfect for each other. Maybe you can find Julie a job so she can make a clean break.’
I interjected. ‘Sorry Jack that’s not possible. Not at the moment at least. I’m stuck with the hand I was dealt I’m afraid.’

Changing Roles

By Julie Dawn Cole

Chapter 26

Gemma reappeared on stage and introduced the next act who was a very butch drag king called Ivor Peacock that brought a burst of laughter and welcome applause. She’d styled herself on KD Lang with a masculine hairstyle and she sang 2 songs that I’d heard whilst growing up that my father enjoyed. A tear filled my eyes as I thought of him and how quickly he’d declined since admission to the care home surrounded by other aging residents who were in various stages of cognitive dissonance. He’d been such a strong and clever father and held a variety of positions in his career.

When Ivor sang Hallelujah the whole of the room seemed to become totally silent and at the end we all stood and applauded in appreciation.

Emily turned and was smiling ear to ear and she complemented Jack on finding such talent for a venue that was seemingly not high profile. He smiled and said it was a personal friend from London who was due to appear at The Arena in Manchester the following evening as the main support act. They’d both worked together in London in the City and Ivor had done well for herself.

Emily responded. ‘It seems like you have done too Jack if this is just a hobby.’

‘What do you mean Emily this is where I live and it takes a lot of running. It is pretty much full time even though I don’t do the hard slog behind the bar. It keeps me entertained and out of trouble.’

‘Oh sorry please forgive me. I just thought you were a silent partner here and did something else.’

‘I don’t know who told you that and gave away my secrets.’

‘It was just something Kim ha said when we were chatting at the bar. Sorry I wasn’t being nosey.’

‘You aren’t undercover from the Tax Office I hope.’

Emily smiled and responded. ’What? Looking like this? I don’t think their employees see anything of real life or could afford a dress like this. I think they disappear at night anyway. Funny creatures.’

I thought that Emily had managed to deflect any suspicion, but I hoped that now she’d be more careful. She did back off a little after that to leave everything to me.

Now the customers were becoming more boisterous as alcohol kicked in as parties celebrated and I could see that both Emily and I were receiving attention so Jack stepped in to ensure we weren’t pestered too much. When I needed the bathroom I waited until the small dance floor was filled and Emily insisted to accompany me whilst Jack guarded our drink. He assured us that we would be safe and he’d watch out in case we were followed.

Emily was wanting to chat a little and she was pleased that we’d gained trust from Jack and that I’d hopefully get to meet George or chat with him. Clearly he was over in Cayman Islands in her opinion even though she doubted it was a holiday destination. She realised it might have been better to have placed a travel restriction on him in case he never returned to the UK although as far as I was aware he’d not been accused of anything due to lack of information. I was obviously being used to identify chinks in his armour. What if I declined to assist or misled them a little? I owed George some loyalty. My life seemed to be so complicated now and at least changing my role had removed stress and maintained my income. But what if the finger was pointed my way? I had to take extra care.

Inside the bathroom We found just a short queue for the cubicles and two young women all over each other and they just looked up when the door opened and then carried on. I thought the other young women were attracted to Emily and they made a few derogatory remarks but Emily wasn’t phased at all. She stared them down and asked if anything was wrong. No response on their part as Emily stood legs astride ready to fend off any threat of trouble.

I never expected to feel scared of young women, even in a ladies bathroom and should have been able to deal with any trouble myself. I wasn’t a weakling just a little outside my comfort zone. On nights out with friends we’d always used the mens bathroom since most customers were transvestites or in drag and gay men never seemed to object. Nevertheless, we always took care and watched each other’s back. Once we were freshened up we left and headed out.

We sat with Jack who had ordered more drinks and tried to keep the conversation light. He was a quiet person unlike his father who would have been cracking jokes and telling stories albeit I’d never seen him in a venue such as this.

After a while Emily insisted that we danced to avoid being dragged to the small dance floor by some over-excited girls who were hanging around our table. They were hardly able to stand let alone dance.

‘I’m going to have to teach you how to take the female pose and follow your partner or you’ll stand out like a sore thumb.’

‘I can’t Emily or I’ll trip and fall in these heels. I’m not yet ready to walk properly let alone dance and follow your lead.’

‘You’ve got rhythm so just follow me and hold on. The main thing is to relax.’

‘What are we going to do now Emily? Should we stay whilst Jack is happy to spend time with us or just say goodnight and head back home?’

‘I’m thinking I might get somewhere with Kim if I can get her away from the bar. She still keeps looking my way and locking eyes.’

‘What do you mean by get somewhere? Do you mean you fancy her?’

‘Oh jealousy? Of course not. I meant I hope to get her to leak more information. She seems a little naïve and quite innocent and she appeared attracted to me so if I play along a bit who knows what she might say. You are OK about that aren’t you?’

‘Oh. Sorry of course it’s up to you. I have just misunderstood a little. I didn’t mean to imply anything.’

‘Good. It would be helpful if you distract Jack. How about you suggest to go somewhere more private and try to contact George for a chat. He seems to think you’ve both been unfairly treated. I’ve not taken advantage of you, have I?’

I decided to just shake my head rather than answer and she didn’t delay in excusing herself leaving me alone with Jack. She headed back to the bar and within minutes Kim was serving her with a drink and leaning on the bar smiling.

Jack looked at me and said that Emily had better take care since Kim was clearly making a move and had a reputation with beautiful customers. I told him that Emily was capable of handling herself but that she had told me that she would like to give me chance to talk more with Jack and she felt in the way.

I asked if it was possible for us to call George whilst we were together and after a long pause he took me by the hand and led me to the staircase that accessed the accommodation where he lived with Gemma. It was quite large with a side room that was obviously Jacks office and we sat down and Jack produced a mobile phone from his pocket and sent a message.

Almost instantly I recognised the voice of George at the other end and Jack switched to loud speaker mode.

‘Hi dad. Somebody wants to speak with you. Is it convenient?’

‘Depends on who it is son. It’s convenient since mum is out for a few hours with two of her friends.’

‘Let me switch to video to make it more interesting. Here we go.’

‘Julian. I that you?’

‘Yes George I hope it doesn’t shock you.’

‘My God is there something in the water over there? What has happened? I thought Jackie to Jack was a big enough shock but surely not you as well?’

‘This has been something I’ve done in private since my early teens because I liked being able to look like girls at school who had chance to wear nice things. I did it in secret as a hobby I suppose, As I grew, I never really kept pace with other boys due to my smaller frame and I got bullied a bit. I worked hard with my studies and qualified. You gave me my first job and mentored me, and I was determined to give my passion secret to respect what you did for me. I couldn’t let you down George and give people the opportunity to infer anything about your reasons for promoting me. So until you left I kept everything separate and hidden. Since then I’ve been given a new role as if my secret was out. It seems like Emily Waterton had an ability to read me. She treated me like most people treat their personal secretaries and she encouraged to be myself and change my appearance to fit.’

‘What do you mean a new role? You were the MD and this seems a bit extreme. You are better than this. Come on Julian are you sure it’s not somebody blackmailing or threatening you to get at me? For Gods sake man you have to stand up for yourself. Changing your job to such an inferior position. You should have walked out and gone straight to a lawyer. I could have sorted one out for you. I still can. Jack has the details. Don’t tell me you are enjoying this new role and that you are transgender too?’

‘I’m sorry George but since Emily Waterton took over she’s changed a lot of things and got rid of our management team. I quickly realised that she is smart and quick to identify what needs to be done. She might lack experience in our business but she spots problems before they become disasters or unmanageable. You know my circumstances with family so I had little choice but to accept her offer to stay but in a change of role as her assistant with no power.’

‘Good God man are you crazy? Walk out and take them for constructive dismissal. You don’t go to work like that I hope. Why didn’t you get in touch sooner?’

‘George I haven’t been forced to dress like this or wear make-up. At work I had to wear a uniform that was abandoning my suits and wearing a different cut of trousers and a shirt without a tie. I suppose it’s developed a bit further towards a more feminine style’.

‘You’ll be telling me next you go to work in a skirt.’

I didn’t have the courage to answer honestly or explain much more. I tried to switch the subject.

‘Jack they are investigating where lots of money has gone and already proved that some fraud was taking place and will be prosecuting. Rao more or less put his hands up to bribing our guys to set up their factory machines without paying his bills. It seems there is more under investigation, but I don’t know any details. They suspect you are the mastermind and that Andrew Frobisher was deeply involved. He was escorted from the premises.’

‘I know since Andrew contacted me. We decided not to keep regular contact and that he take legal advice.’

‘ But George the Chairman seems to have had suspicions and he brought in Emily Waterton to run the business and eek out the bad apples who might be involved. They suspect that you’ve set yourself up using company funds and had support from key customers.’

‘Madness Julian. It’s madness. You know me better than that. Do I look like a criminal?’

‘Of course you don’t George. I can’t believe you’d steal anything but I don’t have much of a say anymore.’

‘Why? You were the MD working for me. You ran the business and had enough control to spot any misdemeanour. My money came from inheritance and some shrewd investments guided by Jacks friends. I had some good tips.’

‘George help me please. I don’t know what to think anymore. I miss you and I fear that I am switching my loyalty to Emily. She seems to have a very compassionate side as well as a ruthless one.’

‘Look Julian we’ve planned to return in a couple of weeks so can you last out until then. Just keep in touch through Jack and update me when it’s appropriate. Don’t put yourself in an awkward or vulnerable situation and trust me.’
The call ended and Jack passed a tissue to dry my eyes. ‘Sorry Jack but George has been like a father to me too. I miss him and I love him.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 27

I couldn’t believe that I’d just said that. It sounded so girly, and he’d trusted me to be his right hand man as MD. Had he taken advantage of me because of my nature and exploited my weaknesses and lack of experience? Since Emily had arrived, I’d seen how far short of being a strong leader I fell short.

Jack took my hand and pulled me toward him and put his other arm around my shoulder. ‘Look Julie we’ve both had a lot of support from dad, and I was very envious of your relationship with him, and it caused me to do some stupid things. I wanted him to treat me like a son and I felt he had the relationship I wanted with you and not me.’

‘Jack I worked for him and he was just my mentor.’

‘But put yourself in my place I was suffering from gender confusion, and I had mixed up emotions. I always knew that I was a boy, but dad had a hard time accepting that. So I needed to earn extra kudos and outperform you. I studied hard to prove myself and got a job in the city and moved to London where I lived and was accepted like this as a man. But it was high pressure and was taking stimulants to give me extra energy and stop me keeling over. The only break I had was when I went for private treatment for top surgery, but it wasn’t possible to sit still. I worked long hours from my apartment and eventually I went back to work, but it was far too soon. I needed extra boosters, and it was expensive and assed expense on top of the treatment, so things got worse not better.’

‘So are you saying all this was the result of my relationship with your father?’

‘You were the son that I wanted to be spending so much time with him. It’s a strange twist to see that now I’ve become his son and when you both meet, he’ll see you were always really a woman. He made a big mistake.’

‘But I never did anything to deflect his attention away from his family. He didn’t show me affection just professional support and guidance and as opportunities came up he pushed me forward.’

‘Yes, but I had to leave home and make my own way. It eventually became impossible for me to meet the targets I set myself. I knew that if I’d had a fair deal as a boy I could have achieved so much more and made him proud.’

‘Jack he was proud of you. He never said anything about you living as a man and always referred to you as Jackie. He said you were in a man’s world and outperformed all your male counterparts.’

‘It came at a price, and I had a breakdown and got into serious debt, and I had problems with other types of dealers rather than those in the City.’

‘So that is why George took a break and was out of contact. To help you sort out your life?’

‘Yes. I packed in my job and recovered whatever we could and moved north. Eventually once dad got things sorted out, we looked for something to do to give me income and occupy my time. This place came on the market. I spotted it as a result of my frequent visits around this part of Manchester after it was recommended by a family friend. I made lots of new friends in the community around here. It was hard at first since FTM were not commonplace. More MTF, crossdressers and lesbians were in the minority. I found a few places that I liked and had a few relationships, but dad was keen to ensure I didn’t get too involved with drug pushers. He arranged for consultations and proper hormone treatment, and it didn’t take long before I could pass as male without any challenge. My voice dropped and since I’d had initial surgery it meant I no longer had to bind. I built up my upper body strength at the gym. Best of all was that since I left London dad has treated me like the son I always wanted to be’

‘All this must have been a big change and a lot of financial outlay? I could never have afforded it and even more so now.’

‘Yes, but I had some great friends in London who saw me struggling and they wanted to help. Most were female colleagues who wanted me to break free of my dependence on drugs and they saw my priority was to overcome my financial problems. They gave me good advice for investments and dad provided the funding, so he took the risk and bank-rolled me.’

So, it seemed I’d gained Jacks trust and he was assuming I needed help too. It did sort of confirm that George had taken advantage of his position and possibly had carried out some sort of fraud or borrowed company money. However, he was no fool and surely, he never expected to get away with it if it were true. I wondered if he borrowed money and got in too deep himself. He wouldn’t steal it as far as I was concerned. I needed to see him face to face.

Then Jack suggested we pay a visit to meet a friend at a bar/club close by that he’d regularly frequented. He asked if it could be just the two of us since Emily would stand out like a sore thumb and he hoped that she wouldn’t take offence if she wasn’t included. Why was he trying to split us up? I doubted that Emily would agree if asked and she was keeping a close eye on me.

‘If it makes you uncomfortable, I can ask someone to join us to distract her whilst you and I chat to my friend. It might help you to understand how my father was able to raise the funds so quickly that he used to free me from threats that caused me to behave so stupidly down in London.’

I couldn’t believe my luck. This might just prove to Emily that George did nothing wrong, so I nodded my agreement. Jack assured me that since Emily wouldn’t let me out of her sight then he would arrange to distract her whilst I had a talk to his friend. He said that he’d already recognised her preferences, and she would like the venue that was one of the top three venues in the Gay Village for one side of the community. I was guessing what he meant by his remark, but I didn’t think he was as smart as he thought. I was sure that Emily was astute enough to realise that it was better to blend in at Jacks place and give the impression she was gay to avoid suspicion. She already seemed to trust me enough to object or to intervene unless she felt I was in some sort of danger. Jack seemed to be underestimating her like most people seemed to do before she turned the tables on them.

It didn’t take long to reach Les Filles that was a place I’d visited and was better known as Filles. I already knew that it was a very lively nightclub and music venue and likely to be full even pn a weeknight with a queue outside most evenings. It was one of the larger venues and the most popular with the lesbian community as one of the longest-running gay clubs in Greater Manchester, It advertised itself as "Manchester's Favourite Gay Venue" and it was also popular with transgender and transvestites but less so with gay men.

Jack was well known by the 2 large bouncers guarding entry, so we were allowed to jump the queue and go straight in walking past the ticketing and payment kiosk. He also was able to order our drinks without fighting his way to the bar. Whilst he stood out dressed in male clothes this was not unusual since a large percentage of customers and all the bar staff were similarly dressed even though they were clearly young women.

Jack caught the attention of one of the bar staff who immediately came over to us and came from behind the bar to speak with us. She looked very androgenous with short hair and make-up. She stooped a little to kiss me on both cheeks. She was very beautiful and a few inches taller than me even though I was wearing heels. I guess she’d have been described as an Amazon and this seemed to be verified by a strong handshake. She moved to welcome Emily and introduced herself as Jo short for Josephine that was verified by her nametag that said she was bar manager. This was the first time since I’d first met Emily that she seemed awkward and unable to speak. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was clearly caught on the hop and couldn’t disguise her awkwardness. Their eyes seemed to lock for ages before Jack intervened and told her that we were there to meet her boss and would she mind looking after Emily to give us chance of a personal discussion.

We were directed upstairs to a private lounge where Frankie was waiting. Clearly Jack and Frankie were good friends and after introductions Jack explained that Frankie was a 25% shareholder in his bar and they were working closely together. Frankie’s father was a close friend and former business associate of George and they’d gone to school and college together. They’d dated and then married twin sisters hence Jack and Frankie were cousins.

After Jack explained about my relationship with George it became clear that she was familiar with what had happened at work during the period George was CEO. She seemed to know all about the removal of key personnel, so Jack then explained that I had been Georges Managing Director and I’d was not involved. Also, that I’d been demoted and that I was now the PA of Georges replacement that had brought about my change in lifestyle and appearance. I had the impression that Frankie had immediately recognised that I was cross-dressed or in transition. Frankie asked if I felt more comfortable dressed as a woman and although I was shocked by her question I nodded and whispered yes. Jeck explained that George had never met me with this new appearance and that he was unaware of my desires and passion for dressing. He then emphasised that by accepting the job as PA it had given me the opportunity to witness some of the investigations that were taking place that were pointed at George who was suspected of fraud. He had arranged for George and I to meet so that I could fill him in with more detail and discuss a strategy to counter the allegations before things got serious.

It soon became apparent that Frankie had been deeply involved in sorting out Jacks problems when he was in London and that she, or her family, had loaned money to George that he’d seemingly paid back in full. I wasn’t sure how much and how directly she’d been involved because it seemed that the two families were very closely allied. Frankie and her family seemed to own a lot of properties around Manchester and a few were in the Gay Village. Frankie preferred to focus his attention to Les Filles which was a big attraction to lesbians. I wondered how Emily was going on and if she felt comfortable.

Because Jack had good connections it did seem as if a plan had been made based on their knowledge of the financial markets and it did seem that his friends had quickly rallied around and helped George. The money he had borrowed had been used to invest in shares in companies who were involved in initial public flotation with advance information provided so George had the chance to buy at low prices and then sell as share price increased rapidly in value and just before they peaked. It didn’t seem legal, but it seemed commonplace amongst the closed community of investors based in the City of London. It was explained that it was a case of identifying the best runners and riders in advance, just like horse racing and that there were no guarantees of success. I didn’t know what Emily and her uncle would make of this information if I decided to feed it back. Perhaps George had still needed other income or access to working capital through diverting company funds that I was pretty sure would be investigated. I was unfortunately now in receipt of information that I wouldn’t be able to refuse to disclose under oath and I hoped it wouldn’t come to that. But Emily was smart enough to keep a record of who I’d met and attempt to connect the dots if I tried to keep things to myself.

It wasn’t difficult to identify Frankie’s family name and I had no doubt that Emily had done this already and searched on google to find out about their business empire. I guessed that she may have already checked to establish if they were registered through Companies House. It turned out that they were in fact registered as a property development company and all the directors would be listed that I was certain would be quickly compiled.

Then to my surprise Frankie said that she would help me if I decided to leave the company and could offer a job with their company more in line with my experience and previous status. but it might be wise to carry on in my current role for now to avoid any suspicion at least until after I’d met up with George. She felt that I needed the chance to talk through things. She then asked for some information about my new boss so that she could check her out. I tried my best to answer without giving any clues that it was Emily. I hoped that she wasn’t going to do anything stupid.

I thanked her for giving me the opportunity to unload my problems and for her kind offer and promised to keep in contact through Jack. We went back down to the bar to find Emily but she was nowhere to be seen. Jack found out that she had been dancing with Jo and that they’d been around until a few minutes ago.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 28
It seemed strange to me that Emily would leave the main bar area unless it was to use the bathrooms, so I strained my neck trying to look right around the large room including the darker corners. It was already quite full so it wasn’t easy and I moved to the staircase leading to the upper balcony to gain some height. A few girls jostled me pushing by and pressing against me or touching my arm and whispering in my ear with lewd remarks. One girl was so aggressive that she almost knocked me off balance. It didn’t take much since I was still a novice in heels. I clung onto the stair rail and watched Jack and Jo went over to the bar to talk with the bar staff.

I decided to check out the bathrooms even though I was apprehensive in view of the experiences I was having in the open bar. I tried to take the direct route and squeezed past couples who were dancing or should I say propping each other up and slobbering. Some had drinks in their hands that were spilling. It was definitely time to leave before I was mauled. I nervously entered the ladies bathroom and found Emily in one of the cubicles being sick. I let her know it was me and gave her some paper towels from the wall cannister. She grabbed my arm and squeezed it and looked up at me.

‘Oh Julie thanks. Sorry about this. Somebody spiked my drink and I’m trying to get rid of as much as I can as quickly as I can to avoid passing out. I need some water please.’

‘You can’t drink tap water Em I’m going to have to get you a bottle of water from the bar. Will you be OK? Are you sure? Where was Frankie? Do you think it was her?’

‘No she had been distracted talking to a customer who was being aggressive and then this girl approached me. I can handle myself but I was suddenly surrounded and somebody started fondling my breasts from behind. Then they disappeared. Please get me the water. The taste is terrible and I might pass out before you get back.’
She was wrenching again so I closed the door and hurried to the bar and managed to get a bottle of still water tossing a five pound note onto the bar in payment. Emily was still wrenching when I got back and she took the bottle and consumed the full contents. She stood up straight but wasn’t very stable so leaned against the side of the cubicle. I called the driver and managed to keep her on her feet by putting her arm around my shoulder whilst we headed to the exit. No sign of Jack or Jo but I decided to get Em as far away as possible as quick as possible. The driver wasn’t too happy about the possibility of Em being sick in his car and produced a blanket from his boot to place around her and catch anything Em might project. We opened a rear window for fresh air whilst we journeyed home.

I called Jack to let him know what had happened and he apologised and offered that we go back to his place but I declined and thanked him for the offer. I was to call him when we got home to let us know Emily was OK or if any doubts we should go to straight to A&E. The driver produced another bottle of water that Em managed to sip before falling asleep. I kept trying to keep her awake and she stirred from time to time as the car sped along the motorway.

As we arrived at my place she came round a little and we managed to get her out of the car and up to my apartment. I tipped the driver and managed to get Em into my room and onto my bed. She was mumbling and moaning a little but it seemed like the worst was over. Thank goodness she’d realised her drink had been spiked. I called Jack to let him know we were at my place and that Em seemed OK and might have a hangover the next day. He promised to call.

Em was too phased out to undress herself so I removed her outer clothes leaving her in her underwear and tucked her into bed under my duvet. She opened her eyes and smiled. I was still concerned so I quickly undressed and decided it was safer to sleep alongside. She probably wouldn’t remember anything and I could move to the sofa before she woke up and came around. I didn’t remove my make-up and Em had hers on anyway. Not that it mattered for once.

Just as a precaution I left one of my bed lights illuminated in case Em woke up wondering where she was. I lay back thinking about what I’d learned and hoping that Em would be OK. I propped Emily up using cushions and tried to keep awake so I could keep checking on her. I didn’t want her being sick in her sleep and choking. She stirred a few times so I wrapped my legs around ger and put my head on her shoulder, so she felt comforted. I must have nodded off sooner than I thought because the next time I looked at my bedside clock it was almost 3-30 am. I was curled up in a ball facing away from her and she had her arms and legs wrapped around me. She was sleeping soundly so I daren’t move. I could feel her breast filled bra on my back and her tummy was pressed firmly against my buttocks. It felt nice and wasn’t used to sharing my bed or being intimate with anybody. I hadn’t felt so comfortable since the days mum allowed me into her bed when I’d had a bad dream. I felt happier than for a long time and was able to relax at last and go to sleep knowing her efforts to get rid of the spike in her drink and drank lots of water.

It was just after 7am when I next stirred and usually, I’d be showered by this time ever since I’d been demoted to PA and required to dress appropriately. Emily was never late to the office but I wasn’t going to disturb her since she was probably going to have a hangover. I managed to free myself from her prolonged hug without disturbing her too much. She looked so beautiful in the morning light and for once she was not my boss but just a friend who’d needed taking care of.

I removed last nights make-up and showered then dried myself and popped on my dressing gown. She was still fast asleep, but she’d at least turned over again and moved across the bed into the place I’d vacated. I headed to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee that was always welcomed to start my day and brought me around. I filled two mugs and went into my bedroom and sat on the bed placing the mugs on the side table.

Then came the first signs of life with Emily peering over the duvet and blinking. ‘Oh Julie I’m so sorry. Are we at your place? Have I embarrassed you?’

‘ No Em,.everything is fine. We are probably running a bit late but please take your time since we don’t know what was put in your drink and I’m just relieved that you seem ok. We have lots of time to get ready and I can go with you to change for work and pick up your car. We may still arrive at work before most of our staff.’

‘Well I really do appreciate you looking after me and letting me stay here. I think that clearing my stomach worked and I don’t feel too bad. I’ve felt a lot worse in my college days.’
She didn’t seem at all embarrassed to be half naked in her underwear in front of me that made me think I was now viewed as a female sub-ordinate. Once again as I found on our spa day, I found myself staring in wonderment. I was very envious of her figure and her work outfits didn’t seem to do justice to her slim waist and ample breasts. My own breasts seemed to come to life as if they were trying to compete and I ran my fingers over my nipples.

She did take up my offer of a shower to refresh her and I had a new toothbrush and mouthwash to help deal with the after effects of the alcohol and the sickness. She said that she needed to get home to change and pick up her bag for the weekend in London that was already packed. I was not so well organised and I still needed to pack the things I’d set aside once a final decision was made after I’d seen the weekend weather forecasts.

I tried to encourage her to eat something and she at least managed a bowl of cereal before dressing. We agreed that she would help me decide on what went into my weekend bag and how to mix and match to travel as light as possible. I needed an outfit for the party that wasn’t too revealing and fortunately Emily was feeling well enough to take charge and give me advice. Then rather than me drive we took a taxi to her place since it wasn’t really very wise for either of us to drive until later in the day to be certain that alcohol levels were low. After she dressed and applied her make-up she turned to me, thanking me again for taking care of her and allowing her to stay over. She hugged me tightly and I felt tearful as she held me closely. I was so happy that she’d come into my life but tried my best not to get too carried away.

‘Well Julie at least the evening seemed useful and well worth me being ill. Jack clearly trusts you so let’s sit down and discuss later in the office to record what you found out and then what you need to do next.’

Everything was returning back to a professional basis and it seemed like everything was down to me, but I at least felt so pleased that I’d gained the full trust of Emily and that she’d report favourably back to her uncle and shareholders. I felt that I’d gathered enough information to show that George did nothing wrong that at the same time would avoid any further suspicion of me and investigations. I didn’t want to be suspended and certainly not taken to court. I needed to write everything down before I sat with Emily later to be sure I didn’t miss anything.
……………………………………………………..

About an hour later we arrived at the office with our bags safely stored in the boot of Emilys car and just carried light bags with some travel clothes so we could change in the office later ready to catch the 5-50pm train that I’d booked for later.

I ensured that Emily had fresh coffee and plenty of water before I sat at my desk to prepare my notes. Sally contacted me and was keen for me to meet her for lunch so she could catch up with me and ensure I was OK and I assured her that things couldn’t have gone any better. I left out the part about Emily having her drink spiked and that she’d shared my bed that I knew would be misinterpreted whatever I said. She already knew that we would be staying in the company apartment in London that would no doubt create all sort of rumours so I tried to get her to keep secret.

Emily set up a joint discussion involving Pam Parkinson and our lawyer Louise Roberts. I felt a little uncomfortable about sharing information I’d gathered from Jack but just hoped they’d be careful what they disclosed until an appropriate time. Pam was to meet with auditors and finance staff to look in much more detail at transactions recorded in the company books and the audit reports for the prior two years. I gave my feedback as honestly and briefly as I could with a few prompts from Emily. Louise advised that she had prepared some draft communications addressed to George and had held back from reporting him to the police. Emily had provided a brief update to her uncle, the Company Chairman.

Emily decided to hold back on any further legal action until after I’d met with George and hoped that we could avoid any publicity.

At lunch with Sally, I had to be extra careful but luckily she seemed more interested in the possible developments in my relationship with Emily. It wasn’t difficult to keep her more interested in gossip than facts, so I exaggerated the detail of our time in the bar and on the dance floor then slipped into the conversation that Emily had been taken ill and that I’d had to take care of her. There were lots of nods and winks, but I held firm. It did make me realise that Emily and I enjoyed each other’s company and that she had hired me as her PA to protect me. I had been very comfortable wrapped in her arms with the pressure of her breasts on my back. I felt awkward about it although Emily didn’t appear to have realised what had happened.

The office started to empty as 4-30pm approached and Emily suggested we change into our travel outfits using her private bathroom. She went first and had changed into cotton pants and a light cotton top since the weather was nice. She had a blazer and wore a pair of flats that matched her shoulder bag. She left her computer and briefcase in the office. She had selected a short skirt for me so I felt embarrassed and complained that it didn’t help my attempts to hang on to some level of masculinity. ‘But Julie you need to show off your shapely legs or what’s the point in shaving? You’ve proved that you can walk and sit properly without displaying next weeks washing. I removed your choices for the weekend from your bag and you’ll find you have more options available with lighter cotton dresses. I’ve brought you some silk nightwear too that are in my weekend case.’

I put on my canvas shoes that were also flat so Emily was still marginally taller and heels would have been awkward for the distances I expected we’d be walking with bags. Emily decided to take a couple of photos of me and a few selfies just to prove how feminine I looked in an attempt to make me more comfortable.

The train journey was uneventful and I was impressed at the attention and service we received in First Class. The staff were very polite and we had coffee and light snacks that were complementary. I supposed they were in the price of the tickets but we had a weekend saver rate that was great value.

I didn’t want to travel by underground to Kensington and Emily wouldn’t have it anyway so we took a cab. The driver chatted all the way as he cut through smaller back streets to avoid the evening traffic. As we pulled up outside the apartment building I was speechless. It was one of the prime buildings and clearly this apartment was going to be spectacular and very valuable. A prime asset for the Company. I knew that George had used it on a couple of occasions but he never let on much.

We collected the keys and key cards from a janitor come night watchman and he directed us to the ornate lift to avoid walking up the stairs. Wow it was at least three of four times the size of the largest apartment in my building. Everything was brand new as if it had just been decorated throughout and there were three bedrooms and two bathrooms.

‘Well Julie what do you think? Is this to your taste? We should take full advantage.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 29
‘Wow it’s amazing. Who lives here and how come we are allowed to stay this weekend? Are they on vacation?’

‘Nobody actually lives here as a permanent resident it is purely for special guests and key company employees. I’m surprised you were never given the opportunity to use it since you were Managing Director of a subsidiary. A few Executives at Managing Director level have had the privilege but it is restricted use so that it is available for invited guests who have business with the Group. It is an opportunity for them to bring their families to London. Primarily customers from overseas who get to meet our Chairman. I’ve often participated in the visits accompanying my uncle. He and I have a very close relationship.’

‘So it’s like a business entertainment suite and a way of enticing key clients of the Group to feel special and then doing business with us?’
‘Yes, or as a reward but only in special circumstances. It isn’t often made available to our particular company customers since we aren’t the biggest earners in the Group. I got it this weekend because it was vacant and my uncle knew I was in town at my brothers’ party and he wants to catch up with me so I could fill him in on my progress. As I’ve said already, he knows all about you.’
‘What do you mean he knows all about me? Has somebody employed a private detective to follow me? I presume he knows about my change of job and that I was demoted and now work for you. Will he be at the party?’

‘Yes he knows you are my PA. He supported my decision to keep you on board because he trusts me and I doubt that he will be at the party. It’s not his scene.’
‘Or does he just keep me on board to avoid a scandal and assume that I will be too worried about my crossdressing being exposed.’
‘That is hardly logical if you think it through Jules. Just trust us. Whilst we are in town, I’ll definitely be meeting him. Probably on Sunday morning before we go back North if you are OK looking after yourself for a few hours. I promise to keep you updated. You do trust me, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I do. It’s not easy though.’

‘You can always pamper yourself and take advantage of the sunken bath that has jacuzzi jets or take a walk through the park and the Princess Diana memorial. I can arrange for breakfast to be brought in by the concierge who looks after the residents in the building.’

‘I suppose it depends on how tomorrow night goes and if we stay late,’

‘Well we don’t need to worry about that now. Talking about food makes me hungry. We are due to meet Georgina and her fiancé for food soon. Your chance to meet my brother. Or should I say my sister. Then you can tell me what you think.’

‘Emily why didn’t you tell me we were meeting them tonight? I only brought dressy things for tomorrow night.’

‘It’s nothing formal so don’t worry. We are fine as we are and it’s a chance for us to chat that will be impossible tomorrow. As I said I think having you with me will help a lot and if you don’t mind I’d like to introduce you as my girlfriend. I’ve never met George’s partner and I think if they see me as an equal rather than George’s straight. spoiled and privileged sister who went to private school and a girls college. Lot’s of their friends will be at the celebration tomorrow night and I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable around me,’

‘But Emily it will be a lie and we don’t know much about each other apart from work and we’ve nothing in common.’

‘We can say that we met at a club in Manchester and I don’t mind letting people think I’m gay and it will allow me to blend in. You have visited these places and cross-dressed and it will break the ice and the main thing is I hope that my relationship with Georgina will be back on track. I want her to be comfortable with me again like she was when we were at home.’

‘Emily you might be making things more complicated by this approach. What about afterwards? I just work for you now and then there is your uncle to consider. He knows the truth.’

‘But he won’t be there and George is not likely to meet him in the near future.’

‘Do you call her George by the way. That is more boy than girl. Doesn’t it upset her?’

‘I’ve always called him/her Georgie.’

‘Well Emily I don’t mind if you want to say we are dating but won’t it be obvious that I’m a man dressing in female clothes?’

‘Well lots of women have masculine features and traits these days but as a woman you don’t fit in that category based on how you look these days. You hide your masculinity extremely well.’

‘So you think we’ll be assumed to be a lesbian couple rather than you dating a trans person?’

‘Why not? You can show me properly your Julie side. The woman I know who you really are.’

‘This seems all wrong to me. I like my feminine side but I also like to keep it private or to close friends who I can trust.’

Emily just shrugged her shoulders and smiled. ‘It’s time that you came out properly. I told you that you can trust me and that I’ll support you. Surely it’s a better path to follow than the one that Georgina had to follow.’

‘OK, I’ll do it. But you owe me. Only because we are meeting strangers who don’t know me from Adam.’

‘Surely you mean Eve.’

‘Very funny.’

‘We are meeting them in a wine bar at 8pm so lets just freshen up and go. It’s only 15 minutes’ walk and I’m ready for a drink.’

‘So am I OK like this? Maybe I should remove my make-up and these inserts?’

‘That would defeat the plan. I think it’s better if I remove most of my make-up and you enhance yours. Let’s look like you’re my femme partner and I’m the more butch one who is smitten by you. Maybe you can give yourself a bit more padding to fill out your bra and I’ll go braless. It’ll be a relief to be free for a while even if it means my nipples are on display. It’s a chance for you to practice for tomorrow. Let’s see how Georgina reacts to her sister becoming a member of her community and if she will come back into my life and let me help her and spend time together like we did growing up. I hope that you will help me to understand how she feels and what I can do and say to make her comfortable around family and friends.’

‘I’m sure that she still loves you and never intended to hurt any of you but I’m sure that she will have felt rejected. Maybe you are over the first obstacle by referring to her as she and accepting that she is now your sister rather than your brother.’

‘Jules we have had no choice but when you see her I hope that you can talk to her one to one and see if she will confide in you. She probably won’t believe that I’ve suddenly become lesbian but at least she knows I had a lot of girls as friends since I was forced to attend girls schools and colleges. Even if she quickly recognises you as transgender as long as we appear to be in a relationship it might help a lot.’

‘It’s a tall ask Emily but of course I’ll try my best. I wish I had a brother or sister so anything I can do to help to bring you close together again.’

…………………….

Emily disappeared to her room to get ready and I went into the bathroom to look at my hair and see what was needed to enhance my make-up if this was possible. My hair was long enough now to brush out and it almost reached my shoulders. It was certainly growing fast these days and noticeably thicker and benefiting by regular brushing before I went to bed. Emily had taken to wearing hers in a pony-tail much like I’d been doing and it suited her and added to her image of being totally in charge at work. However this was another side of her this evening. She seemed nervous about meeting her new sister even though some contact had been made along with her mother.

I decided to apply more mascara to my eyes and use a stronger shade of eye shadow and this seemed to work. When Emily and I checked each other out she insisted to try a different shade of lipstick that was darker and I was surprised at the effect. Now she had none on her lips and she laughed and said that would soon be corrected when we kissed later to show we were in a relationship. I felt a tingle of anticipation since I’d never really kissed before other than soft pecks or kisses from my mum and aunty. How strange that my first kiss with a woman might be with our sexes reversed.

‘So Jules what do you think? Do I pass as a butch lesbian or not?’

‘It’s hard to say since I know that you’re my boss and that you are not lesbian at all.’

‘Well you never know. I played a few male parts at school and college and kissed a few girls. Not many boys around so we had to practice on each other.’

I didn’t pursue the discussion and clearly must have looked embarrassed because Emily changed the subject.

‘I just had a message from George. They arrived already so come on let’s get a skiddadle on. Have you checked your bag to ensure what you have what you might need?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘All girls carry a tampon, a packet of condoms, small pack of tissues and some lipstick. The tampon in case of an accident, condoms in case they are lucky, tissues in case he needs relieving and lippy in case it’s a blowjob.’

I was speechless, Was this really Emily talking? She just burst out laughing. ‘Jules you should see your face. Have I shocked you. Welcome to the real girls world. We are no different to men. We all like some fun and we aren’t scared to talk about it.’

We headed out into Kensington High Street to walk to the wine bar that served Spanish food and Emily fancied some tapas. As we walked she insisted that I hold onto her to keep me steady on my heels that she insisted I wore. I wasn’t a novice and I knew to take small steps.

The wine bar was down a side street with quaint red brick buildings and was open fronted with two tiers and tables looking onto the street. As we approached Emily let go of my arm and surged forward as she saw Georgina who looked stunning. They hugged and clung to each other. Then they turned to me and Emily introduced it as her girlfriend Julie and presenting her sister Georgina.

‘Hi Julie, this is indeed a surprise and by the way it’s Jina since Georgina is a mouthful. Glad to meet you and to see that sis has finally admitted to being in a relationship. You look very nice.’

Then she turned to introduce her boyfriend Bennie. ‘His name is Benjamin to his family but I prefer Bennie and some of his friends call him Ben. Big Ben but he’s not a giant as you can see. So you just have to guess why he was christened Big Ben.’

Emily interjected to save Bennie’s embarrassment and said Jina should behave. ‘So it seems like all four of us are similar height. Without us girls in heels of course.’

I could sense Jina looking at me closely and I was pretty sure that she had her doubts about me being female.

‘So Julie how long have you two been dating and where did you meet?’

‘We’ve been friends for a while but only dating since Em moved North with her job’

‘So young love then? How cute. My sister has at last stepped off the shelf and dipped her toe in the water. So sis you’ve come out at last?’

‘I was never in and just took care not to let mum and dad find out too much about my personal life since they expected to become grandparents by now. As you know I have a career and becoming the little wife at home like mum was has never been in my plans.’

‘Here that Julie. Looks like it’s over to you. But she’s not fully equipped and it might be a while before FTM transformations can involve sperm production.’
‘That’s enough George. Don’t spoil the evening.’

‘OK sis I was just joking. And it’s Jina now.’

She took hold of Bennies arm and he leaned forward to kiss her. As they parted and turned towards Em and I, Jina spoke ‘Come on you two would you like a glass of wine. We’ve got a bottle of red already and it’s really nice.’

We sat together on two-seater sofa across from the seats occupied by Bennie and Jina and Em took my hand. ‘Are you OK with wine Jules or do you prefer a soft drink?’

I wasn’t a great drinker but for Em’s sake I needed to be sociable.

Bennie and Em looked at the menu to decide on the food opting for a lot of tapas. In the meantime it gave me chance to chat with Jina who was quite talkative. I asked her about the arrangements for her party and who would be attending and it was clear that no family from neither her or Bennie side had been invited. I managed to confirm that Ems uncle wouldn’t be attending that was a relief.

Then I was hit with a hammer blow. ‘’So when did you come out and do you live full time?’

How could she tell? I didn’t think I’d dropped my guard at all and I didn’t have any masculine features that were obvious.

‘What do you mean? When did we both come out as lesbian?’

‘Yes, what else?’

‘Well it’s a shock to me to find my sister finally in a relationship and then to have been introduced to you as her girlfriend. You weren’t born female were you?’

‘How did you guess? Is it that obvious?’

‘Not at all but it takes one to know one. I wonder if this is you full time or if you spend your life between two genders.’

‘Well until I met your sister I was mainly living male with some excursions but she is now my boss and she’s has employed me as her PA. I like her and she treats me really well and has sympathy for my desires. I like dressing as female and she is trying to understand your feelings and be of help not to be critical. Hence she invited me for the weekend.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 30

After getting comfortable and taking a sip of wine Emily spoke up and asked Jina and I if we minded if she had a private word with Bennie about the party arrangements since she wanted to contribute. Jina tried to stop her and insisted that they would pay but Emily was adamant and gave her a look that I’d seen many times in the short time I’d known her. Jina just shrugged and shook her head slightly and caved in. So they both picked up their wine and moved to the bar leaving Jina and I alone. It was clearly meant as an opportunity for me to talk privately with Jina so I moved alongside her so we could talk quietly. Jina looked a little taken aback so she spoke first responding to me.

‘Wow Julie. So you are sleeping together? I never would have guessed Em was so adventurous. She was always so reserved at home. Not that we saw much of her since she was at private college for long periods. I declined that opportunity.’

‘No Jina please don’t jump to conclusions. We are at the early stages and I’ve never been close to anybody so it’s all strange to me. I guess I am relying on her to decide if there is anything between us. You know her far better than me.’

‘Well you probably already know that Em is a deep person who doesn’t show her true feelings very often but she is actually very caring under the hard shell. Much stronger than I ever was growing up that is why our uncle took her under his wing. Mum let it happen since dad was never around.’

Well in truth sometimes I want to tell her how much I love her but how can anybody fall in love in such a short time? How would she react? She would probably sack me.’

‘No she wouldn’t. Under that hard crust she is a pussy cat really and I looked after her when she was little. I miss her.’

‘She is very beautiful so I can’t see why she would be interested in me. We are quite close but with our situation at work it wouldn’t be right to put Emily’s career at risk if it became general knowledge around the company.’

‘Well Em needn’t worry since she is strong and anyway she has my uncle at her back. He needs her to carry on his legacy because he knows I’d never work for him. I’m just not interested in that sort of life. Especially after the way the family reacted when I came out and I’m perfectly happy with Bennie. He has a good job and he loves me as I am.’

‘I understand how you feel and I’m sure that Emily does too.’

‘Anyway, who needs the hassle of running a big business? Money isn’t everything and we are quite comfortable. When I left home I soon met plenty of people who accepted me for who I am. Even before I met Bennie I was much happier. This is me just as the song goes.’

‘ Yes I can see that you are beautiful just like your sister. It must be in the genes.’

‘I guess I was lucky. I’ve never had any problem dressing and living as a woman. I soon found a job in a bar which is where I met Bennie. He was a customer.’

‘ Well I’m happy for you and I’m sure your mum, uncle and Emily would feel the same. They all care about you based on what I’ve learned from her in the short time I’ve known her. Maybe it was just a shock and they didn’t know how to react.’

‘They didn’t even try.’

I took hold of her hand and looked into her eyes hoping I could help mend bridges. ‘ Now Emily is involved in your uncles business and there is no more expectation on you. They might be more supportive and understanding than you think if you give them chance. Emily seems to be very sincere.’

‘It’s difficult to have this discussion with Emily and Bennie so close.’

‘Sorry but I’ll just say this last thing. Both Emily and your uncle have obviously discussed my situation at length and must have learned from the experience with you. They decided to retain my services and I would have been in great difficulty if I’d lost my job due to family health problems and the costs of care that I have to cover.Emily had seemed to understand that I was struggling with my identity. She probably forced the situation with her uncle so that I was retained.’

‘Well I’m happy for you too Julie and I hope it all works out. But two of us in the family? Not much chance of normality and a happy life for mum doting on grandchildren is there? Well, I suppose it is possible for you and Emily but her work will always come first and she can’t spare the time. How far would you be prepared to go to match mums expectations? She’s no chance with me now she knows Bennie and I are together.’

‘Jina you have a vivid imagination. Em and I are in a casual friendship at best. As for taking it any further I suppose that’s up to her. She is a workaholic as you know so imagine the sort of pillow talk we’d have?’

We laughed and Jina screwed her face up. ‘Just stop and take a few notes Julie whilst I think on.’

Our laughter brought a reaction form Emily and Bennie at the bar who looked over and smiled.

We settled down and it gave me chance to say more that I’d planned if I had the opportunity. ‘Jina Emily told me in confidence about you. She said that she’d lost a brother through her ignorance and that her and your mum were determined to recover the situation and do whatever they can to keep in contact. They love you dearly.’

‘Yes and I’m trying too but it’s hard to forget what was said and the way they looked at me when they first saw me like this. The look of shame in their faces.’

Now I realised why Emily felt that she needed help from someone outside the family since Jina was really hurting and felt she was an embarrassment. It made me realise how fortunate I’d been growing up through the love of my parents and how right I’d been to keep my cross dressing secret. However I had been lonely and I had no siblings or extended family so no real experience of relationships so what contribution was I supposed to make? I had little in common with Jina since I hadn’t felt that I was born in the wrong body, I just liked to feel feminine and was fortunate to have the features that enabled me to pass comfortably. Before Emily arrived I’d taken my cross-dressing to another level and ventured out frequently with some acquaintances but I had no close friends or anybody that I could confide in. Living alone gave me lots of opportunity to spend time in girly mode and I’d regularly spent evenings as Julie after quickly changing from my work suits. I never took it any further because I had responsibilities whilst ever my parents were alive.
In truth until Emily arrived and changed my circumstances at work I had been too ashamed of my cross dressing in case I was found out and that couldn’t have been the case with Jina as she went through her teenage years feeling trapped. .

‘Jina I have always wanted to have a brother or a sister and now I’m hurting so badly because I’ve no family to turn to when my parents are fading away before my eyes and confined to a care home. I’ve always felt that I had little chance of marriage and raising a family of my own because even though I might have a relationship and get married one day I’m basically impotent.’

‘You mean you can’t eject or experience an erection? But doctors can surely help. Maybe it’s been the stress of your job and the added pressure of your family burden.’

‘Well Jina I can’t recall ever having a sign of morning glory in my teenage years like other boys at school and even transvestites and t-girls seem able to do that based on what I’ve seen. Nothing seems to bring even a twinge of excitement. Is it the same for you?’

‘Not really but I felt it was a problem because I knew I was a girl and I wanted to experience penetration and have breasts like mum and Emily. I intend having surgery and I’m taking hormones that help a lot. This is all me up top and the medication has at least lessened embarrassment down below. I can easily satisfy Bennie and hopefully after an operation he can return the favour. It’s just like I have an oversized clit at the moment that Bennie likes to tease with his tongue.’

‘Don’t you have any penetration then?’

‘Not often but of course sometimes it leads to that and it’s not as if some girls don’t do that sometimes. Of course that throws the responsibility back to you with Emily so you’ll have to consider that. ’

‘Yes that’s why it’s so crazy because neither of us are equipped for penetration of the other and hence I can’t see much future for is as a couple. It scares me.’

We sat quietly and then Jina reached across me and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug. ‘Don’t give up. Just let Emily take the lead. Trust her because she is smart and strong and very astute. She’ll find a way to make it all work. Uncle made the right selection even if I gave him no choice.’

I looked into her beautiful eyes and my lips quivered but I managed to speak. ‘Thanks Jina I will. Perhaps one day we might be family together and we’ll see more of each other. I long for someone I can lean on and share things with who understands me. Emily is helping but work will always come first for her. Family and friendships are important, Please don’t give up on your family because blood is thicker than water. Also if you are around it’s better for me. Emily does really care for you andI’m sure that your mum does even more. Life is too short for you to spend this time apart.’

I did at last sense a light bulb moment with Jina so I backed off and changed the subject to complement her on her make-up skills and ask for her advice so I looked as feminine as possible for her party. She seemed to be really pleased at the complement and then went into great detail telling me what I might do to look totally convincing and bring out all my best features. She offered to meet me the following morning and take me to her friends salon if I could prize myself away from Emily for a couple of hours,

Before I had chance to respond Bennie and Emily were standing over us smiling. Emily sensed we had got off to a good start and said we looked like two girlfriends. Jina squeezed my hand so she could respond.

‘Yes sis I like Julie and I want to help her. I’ve offered to meet tomorrow morning and we can both go to a friend of mine who was responsible for improving my make-up skills and identifying a style that suits my figure. She would like to join me if you agree. Bennie will be playing golf so he’ll be off early with his friends’

‘Well I suppose I’m jealous really for you to steal Julie from me since we came here to spend time together. I suppose I could switch things around and call my uncle to meet him tomorrow instead of Sunday. I can take a cab to his home I suppose.’

‘Great then let’s do it. Let me spend time with Julie to help increase her confidence and maybe we’ll have a light lunch together later.’

‘Don’t think you can steal her all day sis. I hope to be back before lunch so maybe I can join you both somewhere and it would be a treat you for your birthday.’

I looked at Jina who seemed to like the idea and since the objective was to get the sisters back together I smiled and nodded my agreement.

As the evening continued we had another bottle of wine and more tapas and Jina and Emily chatted about the arrangement for the party. It seemed that about 50 guests had been invited and Bennie had hired a company to set everything up in a private room with a bar and arranged for a DJ and a Karaoke. The guests seemed to ne close friends of Jina from the LBGT community that didn’t seem to concern Bennie at all, nor Emily for that matter since she’d anticipated it anyway.

Jina and Emily were chatting and reminiscing, and it was apparent that they’d been close growing up and that Jina had protected her and spent lots of time playing games and helping with her school work. She had been a good student as a young boy with high grades and was ear-marked to be head boy until her life changed when she suddenly announced that she was not going to carry on at school and she wanted to leave. She seemed as headstrong as Emily listening to them chatting whilst trying to chat with Bennie. Clearly their father wasn’t around much either so Jina got her way even though their uncle tried to step in.

At least the conversation was calm and both were getting things off their chests and it gave me chance to find out a little about Bennie who ran his own business letting out commercial properties. He was keen on golf and fitness and he regularly attended a gym. Quite a catch for Jina but then so was she for him.

Around 10-30 pm we decided it was time to leave as Jina and Bennie needed to take the underground to their home and late night on the London Underground wasn’t always safe. Then Emily intervened and suggested they visit the apartment so we could all relax and have a coffee and a nightcap and they could take a cab home. She said she had a card and a gift for Jina that she could open tonight rather than at the celebration.

They didn’t take much persuading so we all walked back to the apartment together and it was definitely helping Jina and Emily bond again as they chatted. Bennie did remind us that he had a 6-30 start to go play golf but Jina soon persuaded him that he’d have to play with a hangover and the fresh air would soon sober him up.

Back at the apartment I found myself making coffee and serving it whilst Emily produced a bottle of Port from a wine cupboard that she said was better than drinking spirits. Emily made a toast and produced Jinas birthday card and gift. The card was sent on behalf of the two of us that surprised me and the gift tag also said from Em and Julie. Jina had a tear in her eye as she read the message in the card and then stood and hugged Emily before pulling me to my feet to join the hug.

She then picked up the gift and opened it to reveal a watch with matching bracelet, necklace and earrings that were clearly very expensive. The message inside was ‘To My Beautiful Sister. In will love you forever.’ Jina loved it and tears rolled down her cheeks.

Before long half the bottle had been consumed with the toasts and I felt my speech was slurring and I was losing my balance as I excused myself to use the bathroom. It was a good time for our celebration to break up so Bennie called a cab. I freshened up as best I could. It had been a wonderful evening and I was so happy for Emily and Jina and with luck tomorrow was going to be just as good.

After they’d gone we cleared up and then Emily hugged me and thanked me from the bottom of her heart. As we stood together she leaned in and kissed me on the lips and held it for what seemed an age. I couldn’t help myself and just responded and maybe it was the effects of the alcohol.

‘Come on Julie lets continue this in your room. I think I’m falling in love with you.’

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 31

Emily took my hand and led me into the bedroom that she had allocated to me that was luxurious compared to my apartment and the one I’d grown up in at home. It was even better than most hotels I’d ever stayed in and I’d been excited by the prospect of sleeping under the freshly laundered and crisp white sheets in the large inviting bed. Emily sat down on the bed and gently pulled me to her side.

‘Jules you were amazing tonight and you did everything I’d hoped you’d be able to do and more. My memories of growing up with a brother melted away as I watched you two chatting and I saw I had a beautiful sister and she was bonding with you and as you relaxed in her company I saw just how feminine you are when you let down your guard.’

I smiled but stayed silent. Whilst the smile was to acknowledge the complement the silence was because I was concerned that she had commented on my femininity that she had clearly accentuated since her arrival at work. I was realising that she was turned on by our reversal in roles and she was a new age of woman who needed to be recognised as equal or superior to colleagues, especially the males. She spoke softly whilst holding my hand.

‘I realise now that George has always been Georgina and that when we were growing up he behaved like a big sister and was happiest when we did things together. In truth I never saw the girl or the boy just someone I adored and who I followed around and hugged every day. I was probably ten years of age before things started to change and arguments between George and our parents started. Sometimes they were loud and intense with lots of cursing and shouting. Dad would get really angry. I would sneak into Georges bed at night and hug him until he fell asleep. In a matter of weeks dad insisted that I go to private school whilst George was sorted out and by the time I returned everything would be calm again. It never happened and my time at private school went on until I left for college and university.’

I could see a softer expression on Emily’s face than I’d seen before in the short time we’d spent together at work and increasingly socially. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to go from a loving family environment with a caring sibling, brother or sister, to a school with dormitories 7 days a week, filled with other children and no parent to snuggle if you hurt yourself or to give you advice or assistance. What on earth had been going through the minds of her parents to send her away whilst they sorted out her brother?

I could only begin to imagine the hurt that Emily went through every day seemingly being punished. I had no reason to complain or deny help to my own parents for the love I’d received in my life even if I had no siblings and now felt all alone. Clearly the private education and the lost family connection was a factor why Emily had become strong and independent that perhaps had been one of the objectives of her father. But from what I’d learned he finally gave up on George and abandoned his family after an affair at work What on earth had George and Emily gone through and what was the effect on George and his mother after Emily was sent away? I dreaded to think.

Emily noticed my quiet and spoke up to bring me back from my reverie. ‘Jules you are quiet. Are you feeling awkward because I kissed you and told you that I love you? Have I embarrassed you?’

‘No Emily. I was just thinking of how life must have been for each one of you these last years and how you all suffered in your own way. You all lost each other’

‘Well we all struggled I suppose and mum was almost at the point of a nervous breakdown so she relied on my uncle to get through it. I did too and he took me under his wing and visited me regularly. He paid all my fees. Anyway that is by the by. More important than that did I embarrass you?’

‘Not really but you surprised me with the kiss. It’s not the sort of thing I’m used to experiencing so I didn’t know how to react. Maybe it was a natural reaction after such a nice evening with Jina, I realise it was a very emotional experience for both of you.’

‘You make me smile sometimes. You are so naïve. I think you missed out a lot growing up. Did you never feel like you wanted to kiss somebody or even to be kissed?’

‘I guess not. I didn’t really have close friends in my school or college days just casual acquaintances.’

‘It does show Jules and that is a reason that I want to help you. I kissed you because I felt the urge. You are so vulnerable, and you’ve just accepted the changes in your appearance and your lifestyle without any resistance or complaint. Not one attempt to resist the changes in your job and you just accepted me as your boss and supported my decisions without any objection.’

‘I didn’t have much choice and besides I soon saw that you were a strong leader and a decision maker. It’s hard to believe that somebody so inexperienced in the business can take charge and become instantly effective. It’s not normal.’

‘Thanks, but maybe it’s because the foundations were set by you and George and it was only that you missed what was going on under your noses.’

‘Well I can see that some of the changes have helped identify an element of fraud or corruption but it doesn’t explain why you singled me out and trusted me to come here and meet Jina and why you have spent so much time with me outside work.’

‘I guess I showed my true colours and let my guard down for once. I was intrigued from the first time I met you and took the trouble to find out more about you. I had no intention to take the role of CEO or to move North but when my uncle asked my opinion on the business that you and George were running I saw an opportunity to meet you and find out about you.’

‘I hardly recall meeting you except in passing when a group of you visited us with your uncle.’

‘Well, I did remember meeting you. It didn’t seem like you were cut out to be a Managing Director and I wondered if you had the job because you were a man rather than give a woman the job. I did soon realise that you had a lot of feminine traits, and my mind wondered a bit as I watched your reactions and the way you carried yourself. It was as if you were a woman masquerading as a man and I sensed it from the moment we shook hands when we were introduced. You have such small hands and slender long fingers that are very feminine. I wanted to lean across and kiss you because you reminded me of one of my girlfriends at university. She is married now with a baby on the way.’

I was surprised and didn’t know how to respond but then Emily placed a finger under my chin to hold my face still and leaned across to kiss me again. This time I tried to push back a little and show that I liked the affection. Emily put her arms around me and held me close and I didn’t want to break free. I guess we stayed like that for a few minutes before Emily pushed me gently back to lay on the bed where we stayed a while kissing each other. This was all new to me, but Emily wasn’t perturbed at all and just took charge.

Eventually I managed to speak fearing that things would go too far. Emily had already placed my hand on her breast and was stroking my inner thigh. She pushed her tongue into my mouth seeking a response I did my best before coming up for air. ‘Emily we should stop this and get to bed. It’s getting late.’

‘Whatever you wish Jules. I suppose we should remove our make-up and use the bathroom.’

With that she got up and headed to her bedroom and I sat up completely confused. What was Emily expecting of me? How could a beautiful woman like her show affection for me? Especially since I was en femme. I looked in the mirror and saw my lipstick was smeared and my hair dishevelled. I went into the bathroom and slowly removed my make-up and undressed. I still looked more female than male even after removing my bra and putting on my sleep shorts and t shirt. My stomach was churning as I cleaned my teeth and used my mouthwash. I had never felt like this before, and I wondered if I’d be able to sleep.

I turned off the lights and slipped into the huge comfy bed and lay there reflecting on the events of the day and what Emily had said to me. Was I really so feminine that people noticed even when I was dressed in male clothes? Did I really have feminine traits that were obvious. Why had nobody ever said this and was this why I enjoyed cross dressing and going out to gay bars?

As I felt myself drifting off to sleep I sensed the door opening and I sat up as Emily entered. ‘Are you still awake Jules? I thought you might need some company for a while. I couldn’t let you go to sleep without saying goodnight and having another cuddle. Do you mind?’

‘No Em it’s fine. But I was almost asleep, and I guess it’s the wine that did it.’

‘It has the opposite effect on me it makes me feel alive. I could just snuggle up with you if you feel tired. I promise to behave.’

‘Well I’m embarrassed but it’s difficult to refuse since this is your hospitality weekend and I’m a guest. But I hope you don’t expect much since I already admitted to Jina that I have no experience and to the best of my knowledge it’s because I’m impotent. Also, it seems now that I’m half way to being transgender if there is such a condition. So I don’t have much reaction to approaches by women or men.’

‘Well why don’t you just relax and we can explore things together. I’ve had plenty of time under the sheets with girlfriends but that doesn’t mean I’ve slept around and especially not with men. You have stirred something inside me, and I hope that I can stir something inside you. How do you feel when you see me? I find that I want to hold you and never let you go when I see you. Even at work when you come into the room, I find I’m distracted and it’s not like me.’

‘I do find myself being distracted too but at the same time I’ve been trying to deal with my demotion to a PA and being treated more like a female member of staff. It sounds like you had a reason for retaining me that wasn’t just because of my experience in the job.’

‘Well if that’s the impression I’ve given you then I hope that you can forgive me. I think this was you all along and I just gave you a little push.’

Emily moved towards me climbing under the sheets and then leaned over to kiss me again. I liked it and held my position on the bed until my back started to ache a little. I lay back and Emily rested on her elbow on the pillows so her face was close to mine and she put her hand underneath my t-shirt and touched by ‘breast’ stroking it gently and taking my nipple between her fingers until I felt it respond and it became firm.

‘See there is some response. I’m sure I can stir something down below if you let me touch you. Would you mind?’

‘No but please don’t be disappointed since I’m not as developed as most adult men or many teenagers for that matter.’

‘Would you like to touch my breasts and explore under my panties to see what reaction you might get. Don’t be shy.’

I returned the favour and her breasts felt warm and inviting so she suggested that I kiss them and see the reaction. Her nipples seemed to treble in size and as she covered them again they pushed through the silk of her nightdress. She lifted it and pulled me beneath it until I could reach her nipples with my tongue. I kissed and sucked on both of them amazed by the response. She was almost purring like a cat.

She then took my hand and drew it towards her thighs and then gently stroked her pubic area that seemed freshly shaven and well-trimmed. ‘Let me explain the parts that you are touching and you should be able to see by my reaction which are most sensitive. Don’t be scared.’

She started by moving my fingers gently across her outer lips and then explained about her clitoris that seemed like a small penis. She widened her legs and pressed my hand so my fingers explored inside her. Suddenly my hand was wet with a light sticky substance and she closed her eyes and groaned. ‘See what you do to me Jules. This is how I feel sometimes when you stand close to me. Imagine if our relationship was to develop further. Do you mind if I touch you?’

Her hand moved beneath my shorts and beneath the panties I was wearing and for the first time in my memory I sensed a response and some stiffness. As she stroked me the soft and flaccid appendage that was part of me came to life. It felt as if it had doubled in size and as she stroked it I felt it become as rigid as a stick.

‘Well,well Jules something is happening below deck. Are you sure this is a first time for you?’

‘Yes the first time it has ever been so hard like this. Before it has been a bit floppy sometimes like a sausage out of a fridge. This is like it came out of the freezer.’

‘Well let’s see if we can defrost it. It just needs a cuddle. Let’s just remove those sleep shorts and panties.’

I didn’t resist and lay back as Em prompted me to lift my hips whilst they were removed and discarded. She then slipped out of bed and crouched and inserted something inside her that she said was necessary as a precaution at this time of the month. Clearly she meant she was inserting a condom of some sort. Then she pulled back the sheets exposing my lower body and my erection We kissed again and Em placed my hand on one of her breasts and then the other stroking her nipples. She then lifted my T shirt and removed it and kissed my breasts. I was still stiff as she lay on top of me and rubbed her tummy against mine. She carried on for quite a while before lifting herself and holding my erection so she could position it in the right place to connect.

Then she made love to me and clearly had several organisms before I suddenly exploded myself. I had never experienced a feeling like it.

‘There you are Jules now you will find that you are fully de-frosted. You do realise that you just lost your virginity don’t you?’

Of course I did and I wanted more. What an experience. I clung on as long as I could until we automatically disconnected and Emily kissed me and lay back. In moments she was fast asleep and I lay for a while wondering if I should go to the bathroom to clean myself. Whoever would be laundering the bedding would know what had taken place. Still on the positive side the bedding in Emilys room was still fresh. It took a while for me to relax and fall to sleep. I felt so relived that I had finally ejaculated and could be considered part normal.

I recalled a song from a musical ‘Why can’t a woman be more like a man?’ I think Emily ticked that box and I was looking forward to the next day.

Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 32

Just a warning to those who may be sensitive to intimate detail in a story. This chapter contains some description of intimacy in the interests of explaining the development of a relationship.

…………………………………..
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Emily stirred a little with a wry smile on her lips. Maybe she was enjoying the feeling in her groin or the power she’d had over me as she took my virginity. It clearly wasn’t her first time, but it was definitely mine. I realised what I’d been missing since puberty and why classmates boasted so much about their ability to explode and the laughter as they exchanged stories of their exploit with girls and how they let them massage them to climax in various secret places around the school. It was all strange to me and so was my late development. I had to avoid the changing rooms and use the bathrooms for privacy when undressing.

I recall being embarrassed one day when I was stripped naked by a group of bullies and pushed into the girls changing rooms. The loud squeals and laughter were heard by teachers and it was me who got a detention.

I was restless as I relived my various experiences from my schooldays. Girls had more privacy in their changing rooms and I wished it was the same for boys. I suppose it increased my shyness and made me more of a loner although two girls did befriend me and walked to school with me every day and invited me to their table in the refrectory most days. It helped but at the same time I was called Julie from that point on. I couldn’t wait to leave school and at least my college days were better.

I turned onto my side trying to keep a safe distance apart from Emily that wasn’t difficult in a king size bed but each time I inched away I sensed that Emily followed me. A silly thought. What word should we now use since we went metric in the UK? Millimetered or Centimetered?

After 5 more minutes of trying to drift off I was about to give up and make myself a drink when Emily reached and pulled me towards her spooning me and wrapping herself so tightly that I couldn’t move. She was warm and completely naked and I felt her firm breasts in my back and her tummy pressed against my butt. She whispered for me to relax and go to sleep as we had a busy day ahead. It was so nice to have the comfort of her body and I could feel her dampness that showed that she had been satisfied too.

……………………………………

I guess it was around 7am when I realised Emily was missing and I opened one eye and peeped over the duvee. I should get up and use the bathroom as my bladder was full and there was no sound from the bathroom so I reached for a dressing gown and quickly crossed the room and sat on the toilet to relieve myself. It was a Japanese model with water spray for cleaning private areas so I couldn’t resist trying it out. I could imagine it was designed by female engineers but it was ideal for me too.

As I headed back to my bed to examine the extent of the soiling of the sheets Emily surprised me. She was standing fully naked with a small tray with two mugs of coffee and some biscuits.

‘Ha Jules you are awake at last. I used my bathroom so that I didn’t wake you and decided to make us a drink to help us recover from last nights drinking. She didn’t seem embarrassed at all to be fully naked and unfortunately I found myself staring and slightly dumbstruck.

‘Like what you see? Sorry about this but I suppose I’m used to parading around like this in my apartment so I didn’t think. You’re not embarrassed I hope?’

I managed to avert my eyes and respond but I must have blushed because she reached for a second dressing gown and put it on before climbing into bed alongside me.

‘Was last night really your first time Julie?’

‘Yes, I know it’s hard to believe at my age but I was bullied at school and scared of relationships. At home I was raised as a good catholic and I daren’t have to admit to masturbation in confession in case I got into trouble with the priest who was very strict. Lots of boys were severely punished.’

‘So did you attend church regularly? I never heard you mention it.’

‘I did until something awful happened to two of the younger choirboys. My father got angry but he wouldn’t say what upset him. I went to a really strict Catholic school even though my dad wasn’t a catholic, just mum. School insisted we all attend church and regularly attend confession where I was expected to be truthful and find things to confess.’

‘So you had nothing to confess did you?’

‘Not really. We all laughed about it. Lots of boys admitted to masturbation but I had no cause to do that. It was silly and it upset me so dad intervened. He insisted I change my school to a conventional state school and he stopped me attending Catholic church from that day. Mum wasn’t happy because they’d committed that I would be raised as Catholic. I never found out what caused dads anger and the extreme action of changing schools. Unfortunately it changed my life. At the new school I was singled out and bullied because I was quiet and sensitive and because I was catholic. ‘

‘Boys can be cruel. I guess your dad thought he was doing the right thing, just like my father.’

She hugged me and sighed. Really her fathers intervention had a much bigger impact on her than my fathers intervention had been. At last I was still living at home with plenty of love and attention.

We drank our coffee as we chatted and it was clear that she would have preferred to spend the morning with Jina and I instead of meeting her uncle and talking business. Still it was important to me and I hoped Emily would be reporting that I had not been involved in any malpractice and hopefully she had also reached a decision to give George the benefit of the doubt and that they’d allow him to defend himself face to face. I was 90% certain that he has nothing to do with misappropriation of company funds or manipulation of financials. However we were both in responsible positions and from a selfish perspective it was better for me if George had been involved in some sort of cover up.

‘Come on Jules wakey wakey. You seem miles away.’

‘Sorry Em I was thinking of the comparisons between our lives growing up and the challenges we had to face. I am so sad that you and Jina lost each other. She seems so nice and I’m sure that she understands the impact that her decisions made on you and the rest of your family. Nobody wins. Not even her.’

‘Well lets do our best to relax this weekend and not think of the past. I want her to celebrate her birthday and hopefully we can start to re-build our relationship. I can see now that she is very feminine and beautiful and has made a new life for herself. In many ways I can see that you are similar, particularly in personality. I think that is why I was drawn to you.’

‘Em you can’t mean that this is more tan a casual friendship surely You can have the pick of any man, or woman for that matter. Why would you be attracted to me, especially like this?’

‘ I think you are cute and I want to carry on where we left off last night. If you want to that is?’

‘You mean to make love together again? Surely it was the effects of the alcohol last night wasn’t it?’

‘Didn’t you enjoy making love with me?’

‘Well yes I did but it wasn’t as if I initiated anything and took advantage of you. It was more the other way around you making love to me.’

‘Yes but what is wrong with that? I have always taken the initiative in my relationships. There is no rulebook it is down to the two people involved and you seemed to respond very well.’ Hard to believe it was your first time. How about we make the best of this luxury and our social time together?

‘If guess we could try. But nobody will disturb us will they? What about …….?’

I didn’t get chance to finish my sentence since Em pressed her lips against mine and held her position until I relaxed and responded. I didn’t want her to stop and she pressed her tongue gently between my teeth and into my throat. I was totally speechless as she looked for my response. I followed her togue with mine into her mouth and she reciprocated. It was very sensual and I found myself stiffening even though my erection was semi firm and not adequate to satisfy her if that was her intent. Our fun time continued for quite a while, and she pushed my thighs apart and lay on top of me pressing her tummy firmly against mine. I could feel her hip bone and she pressed back and forth as if she had a penis before she manipulated herself until my semi rigid penis was enclosed by her vaginal lips. She seemed to be able to hold me and massage me until I stiffened sufficiently for her to reach organism. That happened several times but fortunately I didn’t reach a climax before she pulled back.

‘Sorry Jules but I wanted to enjoy the experience of making love to you without the inconvenience of a condom. Was it good for you?’

‘It was really nice but as I said I am basically impotent, so I hope it didn’t spoil it for you.’

Emily smiled and lay back alongside me placing her arm under my neck and drawing me in to kiss me. I definitely came a few times so you didn’t spoil it for me. I think I finally found a love partner who floats my boat. I like to take the dominant role but girls I’ve met didn’t have the adequate size of clitoris to satisfy me and toys aren’t the same.’

‘But it felt like you had an invisible penis and that we were holding me so I couldn’t pull away. ‘

‘Yes, I was holding you and as you found out I learned how to use my pubis joint to simulate a penis.’

‘Em please that’s too much information.’

‘Well in truth Jules I do like being a woman and I feel lucky. I’m not surprised that Georgina made her choice to change her gender. I have never had any desire to be a man. I am lucky that I can choose this lifestyle. I feel empowered as a modern woman and there is no reason in my opinion why I can’t enjoy the lifestyle that men have enjoyed with a partner or girlfriend who I can spoil and look after. Someone to make love to when the mood strikes us and to spend the rest of my life with. Ideally, I would like that to be a male but with a strong feminine side. Someone like you. I feel lucky that our paths crossed.’

‘So that is why you kept me as your PA and took control of my life treating me more like a female employee?’

‘Well if you want to put it like that then yes.’

She leaned over again and kissed me and we snuggled together under the duvet where we stayed for a while until I reminded Em that we both had appointments and we needed to get ready and have breakfast. Em had arranged breakfast in the apartment and there was a knock on the door before we had chance to shower and dress. I put on a gown and some slippers and answered to find a pleasant young man with a trolley laden with a selection of rolls and croissants with orange juice, fruit and yoghurts and a pot of freshly brewed coffee. I thanked him and said we would serve ourselves conscious that I wasn’t properly dressed with an androgenous look in the absence of make-up. He obviously couldn’t decide so he didn’t refer to me as sir or madam.

Em had a broad smile on her face as she joined me and said I was so quick to answer the door not giving her chance to respond. ‘He will have thought it was his birthday and I expect he was wondering who you were and who I had invited to stay. That was Declon who delivered breakfast who tries to catch me semi clothed. I wonder what he thought of the young woman staying with me?’

‘Em please. He didn’t even look me in the eye and I’m sure he was being discreet.’

‘He’ll say something to me as soon as he gets chance and I’ll let you know what he thought of you.’

‘Does that mean I’m not the first to stay here with you? Do you make a habit of this?’

‘Don’t worry Jules my guests are just girlfriends not bedmates. When we have shopping trips. I’ve just told you my preferences. Hence I’m still single.’

We enjoyed the breakfast and Em proved to have quite an appetite. I feared she might want to share my shower but we were running out of time and she used the one in what was supposed to be her room. I didn’t need to wash my hair as I was joining Jina at her friends salon. I selected the outfit I’d brought for the day from my wardrobe that comprised of leggings and a top. As I walked around the room in my underwear I reflected on my days of cross-dressing in secret and here I was with feminine outfits as options and nothing from my male wardrobe at home. I was applying my make-up when Em appeared at my door and she reminded me not to go overboard or I’d be Georgina’s friend out of a job. After a spray of Eau de Toilette I felt ready to accompany Jina and feel feminine. Em was quick to tell me how nice I looked that gave me just the boost in confidence I needed.

I returned the complement and was hoping for a positive outcome of her meeting with her uncle. The last thing I wanted was for my former boss George Garside to be arrested for corruption or fraud. I hoped I could help prove his innocence if given the opportunity and more time.

I waited outside the hotel until Em managed to flag a taxi and we hugged then I headed to the underground station where I’d arranged to meet Jina. I was gaining in confidence with every step and felt comfortable in feminine mode. Maybe I’d benefited from the night of intimacy with Em and losing my virginity at long last.