“What was keeping you guys?” asked Cathy as the four of us walked into the locker room to change for our practice.

Donna grinned as she said, “We were just watching some boys play basketball in the gym.”

As she slipped on her sports bra, Sarah said, “And it looks like Tammy got a date.”

Cathy looked at me and giggled. “Must be a good one. Tammy still looks excited about it.”

Donna giggled, “She was talking to Shaun McAlister.”

Brandi smirked. “Oooh! A bad boy!”

Annoyed at being talked about, I said, “He’s very nice. He seemed so shy.”

Cathy grinned. “I can see why you’re so excited.”

I smiled and softly said, “It’s very strange. I’ve never been so excited about a boy before.”

Brandi frowned, “Just be careful that he doesn’t get you into trouble.”

I frowned at Brandi. “I don’t think I have to worry about that.”

Brandi gave me a curious look. She laughed and said, “I’m not talking about sex, although you should worry about that as well. No, Shaun is part of that street racer crowd. Remember Nichole last year? She was hospitalized after the car her boyfriend was driving rolled? She was riding with him during a race.”

With a look of concern, Cathy said, “I remember that. You need to watch yourself, girl.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “I only just met him and you already have me getting hurt in a street race. I’m not stupid and my dad would never allow me to ride in a car during a race!”

Brandi shook her head. “Nichole was told not to ride during a race as well. That wasn’t her first time to ride, either. Look. I don’t have to tell any of you how devious boys can be when it comes to them talking you into their cars or letting them in your panties. Just be careful, girl.”

“I always am,” I said annoyed that Brandi would think I’d let some boy control me.

But why the hell did I accept a date from Shaun? Yes, he’s gorgeous. Yes he’s nice. And yes, there’s that dangerous bad boy element. I never thought I’d be attracted to that kind of boy. I never thought I’d be attracted to a boy, period. But here I am. I can’t stop smiling about it. It’s insane.

And Paul was a fluke. I didn’t become attracted, you know, like really attracted to him until after that kiss. Oh my God, that kiss. I lied when I told everyone I didn’t care that he started seeing Clarissa. What was so special about her? My sister Cynthia had the same questions when Paul dumped her for Clarissa. One of these days, Paul is going to have to explain it all.

It’s crazy to think both my sister and I got dumped by the same boy. Dad never liked Paul anyway. I wonder if he’ll like Shaun? Shaun is into street racing and motocross as well. Dad does like motorsports, after all.

“Hey Tom. Or I guess I should say Tammy since you’re a full time girl now,” greeted my sister Cynthia over the phone. No question as to who it was. Nobody else would answer the phone that way.

“Cynthia! My soon to be globally famous sister. I feel so honored and privileged that you have deigned to call me again in less than a week,” I said in response to my sister. “To what do I owe this privilege of your phone call?”

I could see her scowl over the phone as she said, “Keep it up, twat-boy and this will be my last call to you.”

I sighed and asked, “Promise?”

“Are you done?”

I grinned and said, “Yes.”

Cynthia said seriously, “I won’t take up a lot of your valuable time, but I just had to ask. What the hell is up with you lately? I just got a text from Cathy that said you accepted another date with a boy. What’s changed with you? You always used to get annoyed if a boy asked you out.”

I laid back on my bed and said, “Cathy needs to stop blabbing. But yes, I have a date with a boy. I’m not completely sure why I said yes. It used to drive me crazy to be mistaken for a girl.”

Cynthia laughed. “I guess after Paul, you’ve decided boys aren’t so bad?”

I shook my head. “Honestly, I have no idea. A group of us were walking through the gym and I saw this one boy and wham! I was just suddenly attracted to him.”

Giggling, Cynthia said, “That’s the way it happens. So, who is this boy? Or is he a mystery man?”

I rolled over on my tummy and had to brush away the hair that fell across my face. “I’d seen him around before, but had never paid much attention before. He’s Shaun McAlister.”

“Oh, nice!” cooed Cynthia. “I didn’t know you were into bad boys.”

I sighed. “I didn’t either. I’m not really into boys at all.”

Cynthia laughed. “You say that while building a list of boyfriends. You know… Dad’s gonna shit bricks when he finds out your new boyfriend is a street racer.”

Shrugging uselessly, I said, “No reason Dad should know that. I mean, come on, Cynthia. He’s just taking me to a movie. And maybe out to eat. I really kinda doubt he’ll find me all that interesting.”

Laughing, Cynthia said, “Girl, you’re perfect for a guy like him. You’re beautiful, and you’re naïve. He’ll have your panties down around your ankles before you know it.”

Twirling my hair, I said, “I don’t believe Shaun is like that at all. He seems very nice.”

Cynthia sighed. “Girl, you have a lot to learn about boys.”

“Granted. I don’t have your vast wealth of experience with boys,” I said with a grin.

Growling, Cynthia said, “I hope you’re not suggesting I’m a loose girl.”

I giggled, “I didn’t say it.”

“Well anyway,” said Cynthia. “I really don’t know much about Shaun other than he’s hot. I didn’t know his other girlfriends. He’s probably actually somewhat tame. Guys like to create this dangerous, macho persona to impress their friends and attract girls like you who are attracted to bad boys. They all believe that nice guys finish last.”
I paused a moment and then asked, “I wonder why Paul isn’t a street racer. He’s got the car for it.”

Cynthia chuckled. “You have to admit. Paul’s just a poser. I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but face it. Paul doesn’t have the cajones to race. He took me to one of their get-togethers once. He knows everyone. We even went to a race. It’s exciting, hearing all those engines roaring and seeing all those boys with bulging muscles. Then the cops show up and everyone leaves. So really, Paul only uses his car to pick up girls. I mean it worked on me. And it worked on you too.”

I grinned at my phone. “Well, all I expect to get out of Shaun is a free movie. And maybe hang out with his racer friends. I’ve always been interested in fast cars. It’s not like I’m going to fall in love with him.”

Cynthia said, “Be careful sis. Falling in love is easy. Hey, I need to go. I’ll call you later.”

I was sitting with the other cheerleaders for lunch. We had been discussing the skit for Friday’s pep rally. Brandi and I both thought we were trying to fit too much in and that it was going to be an embarrassing disaster. Cathy was insisting it was going to be hilarious. While I was trying to make a brilliant point, Sarah poked me in the arm.

Sarah leaned close to my ear and said, “Incoming boyfriend.” She then pointed. Sure enough Shaun was heading towards our table. When he got close, all conversation stopped.

I smiled and said, “Hey Shaun. What’s up?”

He jerked his head to one side and said, “Tammy. I need to talk to you for a second.” He then stepped away from the table. I just shrugged as everyone just looked at me with a questioning expression.

I stepped up close to him. “Hey, baby. What’s up? Is something wrong?”

He stood really close to me. “Oh no. Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to verify what time to pick you up on Saturday.”

I looked at him like he was a dork. I said, “Dork. You could have just called. But is seven good?” I wanted to give myself plenty of time to get ready.

Frowning, Shaun said, “I can’t call you during school. I wanted to buy the tickets now and I needed to know which showing. Picking you up at seven puts us at the eight o’clock showing.” He looked down at his phone and then back to me. “Actually, the seats I want aren’t available at eight. How about picking you up at six? It’s a popular movie.”

“I guess it is,” I said. “Six is okay.”

Shaun nodded. “That’ll work. Do you have a curfew?”

I frowned and nodded. “Yes. Eleven thirty.”

Punching buttons on his phone, Shaun grinned. “Perfect. That gives us plenty of time. Okay, babe. We’re all set. Catch ya later.”

I waved as he hurried away.

“What was that about?” asked Cathy when I returned to the table.

I stabbed a piece of my salad and said, “He’s already buying the tickets to our movie.”

Cathy shrugged. “Well, that’s efficient.”

Brandi looked over at me. “What are you guys going to go see?”

Swallowing my bite of salad, I said, “That new Nathan Adams movie, Waiter, There’s a Fly in My Soup.

Cathy grinned. “I heard that’s one of his best movies. His girlfriend is in it.”

Sarah frowned and asked, “Isn’t she something like twelve?”

Donna chirped, “Well, I heard she was kicked out of the fifth grade because she’s pregnant.”

I laughed. “You guys are goofballs. I doubt any of that is true. I’m just planning on staring at Nathan.”

Cathy laughed. “Sounds like a plan!” The bell rang signaling the end of the lunch period.

This was only my second time out as cheerleader and I wasn’t one bit nervous. It was a little bit chilly being out in the autumn night air in the short uniform. But it didn’t bother me at all. I loved it. I wish I could have been a cheerleader all along. It’s funny how the plan for me to use the restroom near the coach’s office has been completely forgotten. I’m completely accepted as a girl and nobody cares if I use the girls room.

I was standing next to Cathy down on the field. In a moment we’d pick up the poles with the school’s banner to stretch across the gauntlet we were forming for the players to run through. Standing across from us was Donna and Brandi.

Donna grinned and shouted over to me. “Hey Tammy! Guess who I saw in the student section?”

I just shrugged. The team was lining up in preparation of running through the banner.

Donna shouted, “Shaun!”

Grinning, I shouted back, “Cool. He was worried he might not make it.”

Cathy frowned at me and then poked me in the ribs. “Pay attention!” No sooner had she spoken than the team ran through the banner. The team needed to win this game or we could forget about going to the play-offs. I wasn’t ready to hang up my cheerleader uniform just yet.

We finally worked our way back around to the student section and we went up into the stands to take a break. On the way up the stairs to the stands, I saw Shaun and waved at him. We both made our way over to the railing that separated our area from the student area.

Grinning, Shaun took my hands and said, “Hey baby. You look great out there, jumping and cheering.”

I laughed. “Thanks. That’s kinda what we do. Hey, I can’t really stand here and talk. After the game, you do plan to come and join us at Lorenzo’s House of Pasta, right?”

Shaun squeezed my hand. “I’ll be there!”

“See you then!” I said as I stepped back to join the other girls back on the field.

It was a really close game and quite frankly, our team looked like they were going to go down in defeat. But one of the other players who wasn’t Paul managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and guaranteed that we’d go into the play-offs. As before, Cathy and I kissed his cheeks as the reporters snapped a few photos.

As we walked off the field, all the cheerleaders clustered near the coach, the coach said, “Great job, everyone! But I need to make one announcement so we’re all clear. Anything could happen in the new few games but things look good for the team. So don’t make any plans to be home for Thanksgiving. One of the play-off games is scheduled for the Friday after Thanksgiving and it’s all the way across the state.”

Ashley was walking close to Cathy and I and she sighed, “Well shit. I was looking forward to going to my grandmother’s for Thanksgiving. Is it bad to hope we lose?”

Cathy said, “Probably. I think the football coach’s job is hanging on if we make state or not.”

Ash laughed. “I don’t even like the coach. He’s rude to all us cheerleaders.”

Cathy nodded and looked glumly at the ground. “That’s true.”

I just shrugged. “Well, it’s starting to get really cold and I don’t have anything to wear. If Paul and I were still together, I might be more interested in the play-offs.”

Ashley laughed, “I knew it!”

Looking very unhappy, Donna joined us as we headed towards the bus. She snarled, “This sucks. My dad has already bought plane tickets to Hawaii for Thanksgiving!”

As we waited outside the bus, Sarah ran up and said, “Isn’t this great! I’ve never been to any play-offs before!”

Cathy laughed. “At least we have one happy cheerleader to cheer on the team.”

Several people, including Shaun, had beat us to Lorenzo’s.

Shaun looked at me and grinned. “About time you got here!”

I squealed as I ran up to him and gave him a hug. I then sat down close to him. He put his arm around my shoulder. He bent down and nuzzled my neck.

Shaun suddenly waved at someone walking in through the door. He said, “Hey Paul! Good game.”

I looked over and saw Paul entering the restaurant with Clarissa hanging all over him. Her micro skirt exposed her black lacy panties while just standing. She wore the reddest lipstick I’ve ever seen along with ridiculous fake lashes. What a whore. Oops, I hope I didn’t say that out loud.

Paul grinned and waved to Shaun. He said, “Hey man, what brings you here?” And then his eyes fell on me and he quickly looked away. He knuckle-bumped Shaun.

Shaun laughed and said, “You saw my black Mustang out there, right? When are you going to pit that red, pussy Dodge of yours against it?” I hadn’t really seen it yet, but Shaun drives a midnight black Shelby Mustang. Many weekends he’s out racing it on the street.

Paul laughed self-consciously. “You know I quit racing. My Dad would kill me if I got so much as a scratch on that car.”

Shaun laughed. “Bullshit, Paul. You’ve just gone soft. And speaking of soft, have you met my new girl?” He pulled me close to him.

Paul smirked. “She’s a cheerleader and I’ve gone out with her. Of course I’ve met her. I didn’t know you were dating her.”

Shaun nuzzled me again. “Yep” He ran his fingers through my hair. “She’s one sweet girl. But then, you know that, don’t you?” With a finger under my chin, Shaun turned my head to face him and he gave me a quick kiss.

Clarissa scowled at me. She said, “Come on, Paul. Let’s find a place to sit.”

Looking down at my hands, I said in a small voice, “Why did you say that?”

Shaun shrugged. “Just making sure he knows you’re mine now.”

I have to say, I didn’t much like Shaun’s sudden aggressiveness. What happened to that sweet, shy boy who asked me out? Why do males have to be so damned macho when other males are around? I never acted that way. But then, I’m also sitting here wearing a cheerleader uniform with my boyfriend’s arm around me.

I saw Cathy looking at me. She mouthed the words, “Are you okay?” I nodded and looked away.

These after game get-togethers are usually loud and rowdy with the boys thinking they have to show off to the girls. Since a couple other football players also had muscle cars or wanted one and interested in racing them, the usual testosterone fueled conversations took a high octane turn this time with Shaun getting hit with questions about beefing up their cars. Even Paul joined in on the occasionally heated discussion. I didn’t really mind. Since my dad enjoys motorsports I was less lost in this conversation than I am in general talks about sports.

While we were all eating and enjoying the party atmosphere, I kept noticing Clarissa just practically laying on Paul almost like she was poured over him. She kept playing with his hair and kissing his neck, ears, cheek, whatever. So yes, I started putting my hands all over Shaun, nibbling on his ears and just lavishing him with attention. Call it childish, but I just couldn’t help myself.

As the clock edged towards midnight and past my curfew, Shaun turned to me and said, “Well crap, Tammy. Look at the time. I should probably take you home.”

I nodded. “Dad cuts me a little slack for these after game things. But yeah. I do need to go. We won’t be doing these during the play-offs since they’re all out of town.”

We waved and said our good-byes and left the restaurant.

Shaun had parked his car where he hoped it would be protected from door dings and scratches.

As we walked up to his Shelby Mustang, I just stopped and gasped. “What an awesome car!”

Grinning, Shaun said, “Thanks babe. Wait until you hear and feel that engine. It’s guaranteed to make girls wet.” He flashed an evil grin.

I doubt that would be happening to me. So my shy, sweet boyfriend uses his car to seduce girls. But basically, he had me by the balls with his smile. I should probably use a different expression even though I still have them.

I saw him wince when I slid a finger along the glossy finish. “This is a beautiful car!”

Grinning, he unlocked the doors. “Wait until you ride in it!” He opened the door for me and keeping my knees together, I slid into the passenger seat. Wow. Leather seats! He closed the door and ran around to the driver’s side.

After he got inside, he reached over and picked up the seat belt. “Let me help you with that.” Turns out it was a five point belt system like you find on race cars and aircraft.

He then turned the ignition on. The body flexed slightly from the torque of the engine. The exhaust noise was quite loud. I could feel the vibration of raw power coming up from the seat.

After I gave him my address, he floored the gas pedal to burn out. I felt myself pushed back into my seat as a cloud of burning rubber surrounded us. I don’t know if he was hoping to impress me or scare me.

He looked over at me with a grin, his expression begging I be impressed.

I glanced over at him and asked, “Do you like buying tires?” He just shook his head.

We didn’t talk much on the drive to my house. I thought for sure we’d get pulled over, but we didn’t. And finally he rolled up to the curb in front of my house.

Grinning, Shaun said, “You’re home. Safe and sound.”

“Thanks for bringing me home. I think that’s the fastest trip ever from Lorenzo’s to my house.”

Shaun shrugged. “I didn’t want you to be too late.”

“Thanks again,” I smiled. “This is definitely a cool car.” I popped the buckle on the harness.

We sat there in an awkward silence for several moments. Finally, Shaun leaned over and kissed me. I turned to face him and leaned into the kiss. I closed my eyes and moaned softly as we continued to kiss.

I disengaged and pulled back, taking a couple deep breaths. I said, “I need to go. Thanks again for the ride home.”

Shaun grinned at me and said, “See ya tomorrow at six.” He gave me another quick kiss.

As I opened the door and started to step out, I said, “Oh. Don’t peel out when you leave. My dad hates that.” Shaun nodded.

As I stood on the sidewalk and waved, there was a sudden squall of tires as Shaun’s Mustang fishtailed slightly as he roared away. I just shook my head.

After I entered my house, from his seat on the couch, Dad said, “You’re late. Who was that who dropped you off?”

I plopped down on the couch next to Dad. “That’s my new boyfriend, Shaun. You’ll get to meet him tomorrow. We have a date.”

Turning his head from the TV to look at me, Dad said, “Another new boyfriend? What’s with you and all these boys? He’s not one of those street racers, is he?”

I just shrugged. “He might be. He has a really nice car.”

Dad gave me a stern look. “Listen to me, Tammy. I don’t want you riding with this boy while he’s racing. It’s just too dangerous.”

I sighed. “Daddy, I’m not going to ride with him during a race. Don’t worry. I think you’ll really like Shaun. He knows all about cars. Just like you.”

Shaking his head, Dad said, “It’s late. You should probably get to bed.”

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Daddy.” I slid off the couch and hurried to my room.

“Want me to make breakfast?” I asked Dad as he walked into the kitchen on a bright Saturday morning.

“Sure, honey. What have you got?” Over the weeks, Dad has gotten used to seeing me in my light blue babydoll pajamas. I started wearing them just as I started substituting for Cynthia, even though obviously, I didn’t wear pajamas to school. I just loved the way they felt. I’ll probably keep wearing them after Cynthia returns.

I opened the fridge and took a quick inventory of the contents. “How about scrambled, eggs, sausage and orange juice?”

Dad, wearing his boxers and a t-shirt that definitely needed washing, sat down at the kitchen table with his tablet computer and started flipping through his news app. “That sounds great, honey.” Dad never used to call me things like honey before. I guess it’s his way of dealing with my new reality even if it’s temporary. Cynthia is *supposed* to come back home again. I think.

As I gathered items to make the eggs with, like a bowl and spatula, Dad frowned at his tablet.

“So, princess. Tell me more about this new boyfriend of yours. You say he’s into street racing?” asked Dad as he continued to look at his tablet.

As I started cracking eggs, I said, “Well, his name is Shaun. Like me, he’s a senior. He’s on the basketball team. He’s really cute and really nice.

Dad asked, “What’s his last name?”

Furrowing my brow, wondering what Dad is getting at, I said, “McAlister. Shaun McAlister. About six – two.”

Dad set his tablet down on the table. “Okay. I just wanted to be sure this wasn’t him.”

I frowned as I started scrambling the eggs. “Who him?”

Looking up from his tablet, Dad said, “Oh, some street racer. He ran a red light and killed this poor elderly couple just out for a drive, last night.”

My eyes widened. “Oh, that’s awful! Shaun wouldn’t be involved in anything like that. Where was it?”

Poking at his tablet, Dad said, “Garland City.”

I frowned as I turned on the heat under the skillet. “Daddy. That’s like what? Eighty miles from here?”

Dad frowned at me. “Not impossible either to be someone from here. But honey, I need you to promise something.”

I was just about to pour the eggs into the skillet. I stopped and asked, “What?”

Looking very seriously, Dad said, “I want you to promise me you’ll never ride with this Shaun guy when he races.”

I frowned. “Daddy, I don’t even know if he races. I just met him a few days ago.”

“Promise me,” said Dad sternly.

I sighed heavily. “I promise, Daddy. I promise. Same as last time you asked.”

“Hey girl. Whatcha up to?”

“Hey Cathy,” I said over my cell phone. “I’m just trying to select an outfit for tonight.”

“Wear a skirt!” Cathy said without hesitation.

I laughed. “I already have that picked out. It’s funny though. Two weeks ago, not only would I not be going on a date, but if I did, I wouldn’t be picking out an outfit for it,”

Cathy said, “Wow. That’s right. I totally forgot that you’ve only been a girl for about two weeks. You’re such a natural.”

I sighed as I held out two different tank tops to try to pick one. “That’s the problem isn’t it? You’d think that everyone would remember that two weeks ago, I was a boy. Well, technically, I still am. But I’m totally accepted as a girl. It would cause a ruckus if I entered the boys room now.”

Cathy laughed. “Well, enjoy it while you can. Your sister won’t be gone forever.”

I sat down on my bed amid the clothes I was looking through. “That’s just it. Should I be enjoying it? I only volunteered to fill in for my sister’s cheerleader position. And now I’m dating boys. It’s crazy. I really don’t understand what’s going on!”

Cathy interrupted and said, “Let me ask you something real quick. And you need to be totally honest.”

I glanced at my clock and noticed it was just two in the afternoon. I said, “Okay.”

Cathy paused for a moment and then asked, “Have you enjoyed being a girl these past couple of weeks?”

I looked down at my nails that I painted this morning before lunch. “It’s not like I’m actually a girl you know. I’m just pretending and…”

Cathy interrupted again. “Have you enjoyed being a girl?”

I sighed as I checked my choice of tops again. I said, “Being totally honest… yes.”

Cathy said, “Okay then. Now. Do you like Shaun?”

I shrugged to myself. “I don’t know. I mean, he seems okay. I really don’t know him well. I feel almost like I’m lying…”

Cathy sighed and interrupted again. “Do you like Shaun?”

I ran my fingers through my long hair. “Yes.”

Cathy laughed. “There. Perfect. Now enjoy your date tonight.”

I sighed. “Is it really just that simple?”

Cathy exclaimed, “Will you stop? Quit trying to analyze everything. Just enjoy your date with the one of the most gorgeous boys at school. Whatever happens next, enjoy this moment now!

I laughed. “Okay, okay. I’m just really nervous. I’m afraid he won’t like me.”

Cathy said, “Girl, he’s going to just love you. Have fun. But I need to go. Call me when you get back from your date. I really got to hear all about it.”

I stepped out into the living room where Dad was watching a game show on TV. He looked up at me and just stared. He said, “Oh my, Tom. Or I should say Tammy. You look very pretty tonight. Just beautiful.” He looked me up and down and said, “Do you have a longer dress?”

I smiled at Dad while I twisted left and right to pose for him. I said, “There’s nothing wrong with my skirt. You know Mom would agree with me.” It was almost time for Shaun to arrive.

Dad frowned. “True. Do me a favor and go back and wait in your room and give me a few minutes to interrogate… I mean talk to this Shaun character.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Daddy. But I just know you’re going to love him.” I turned and pranced back to my room. Yes. I pranced.

I was suddenly nervous when the doorbell rang. I heard Dad open the door. I was so worried Dad would say something to sabotage my date. I checked my make-up for the billionth time and smoothed my skirt. I could hear Dad and Shaun talking, but I couldn’t make out what was being said.

After a few minutes, Dad yelled, “Tammy! Shaun is here!” I checked my make-up again and checked my outfit in the mirror to make sure my butt looked cute. Doubts about dating a boy started trickling through my mind. I took a deep breath and walked into the living room.

I smiled the instant I saw Shaun. He was gorgeous and had even taken a shower.

Shaun’s face busted out into a huge grin. “Tammy! Hi. You look… you look just, just beautiful.” He held out a small bouquet of flowers towards me. “These are for you.”

I took the flowers and sniffed them. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.” I then handed them towards Dad. “Can you put these in some water for me?” He just nodded.

Shaun chuckled. “Yeah. Your dad and I were just talking. I’m impressed he used to road race motorcycles in his college years using small local airports for the tracks. I think they still use one for Gymkhanas.”

I just stared at Dad. “You used to race motorcycles?”

Dad grinned. “Yep. Until I met your mother, it was my biggest interest.”

I stepped close to Shaun and he took my hand. I asked, “I never knew that. Do you still have the bike?”

Dad shook his head. “Nah. I sold it. I wish I hadn’t. I pretty much built it myself. It was red and blue, I added clip-on bars and a local fab shop custom made the fiberglass fairing and seat. 600, four cylinder engine with four carbs. It was a beautiful bike and a screamer. Even won a few times on it.”

I looked at Dad in astonishment. “Wow Daddy. That’s a side of you I’ve never seen before.”

Dad suddenly looked wistful. “The last time I was even near a race track was in Florida for the Daytona 200. You and your sister were probably too young to remember going to it.” Dad had never brought this up before. Ever. I’m taking it as a sure sign he likes Shaun.

Shaun gave my hand a squeeze and said, “Well Tammy. Are you ready to go?”

I looked up at Shaun and smiled. Even in my high heel sandals he’s taller than me. I said, “Yes!”

Shaun tugged on my hand and said, “Let’s go. Nice meeting you Mr. Garret.”

Dad looked straight at Shaun. He said, “Nice meeting you too, son. She needs to be back home by eleven thirty. Not eleven thirty-one. Eleven thirty.” Dad always has to be so dramatic. He was no different with my sister.

Shaun nodded. “Yes sir. I’ll have her back safe and sound and on time.”

Shaun opened our front door and leading me by my hand, we walked towards his car. Being late October, the sun hung low in the sky and the deep black of his Shelby Mustang was even more intense in the Autumn light. I had never thought black could be intense.

As we approached his car, Shaun said, “You’re dad’s pretty cool. I never would have imagined he raced bikes. I got the impression he’s protective of you. I have to say, I don’t blame him a bit.”

I just nodded. He embarrassed Cynthia more than once if her date was late bringing her home.

Shaun opened the passenger door of his car and held my hand to help me get in. I should have worn flats. But then he’d be way too tall for me.

As he slid into his seat he leaned towards me as if to give me a kiss. I guess to him, we established kissing the night before. But I pulled back and pointed at my face and said, “Lipstick.” He just rolled his eyes and sat up straight. I didn’t want to have to repair my make-up before we even got to the Cineplex. You’d think guys would understand this.

Shaun hit the ignition and his car rumbled to life. I was fumbling with the harness and he leaned over and helped me with it. We then slowly pulled away from the curb. No squealing tires, no burning rubber.

It took less than ten minutes to navigate the streets to get to the Cineplex. The parking lot was filling up. Looking across the sea of cars, I said, “Sheesh. I hope we can get in.”

Shaun nodded. “I know, right? You’d think this was a date night or something.” He then winked at me.

However, it really didn’t take long to find a spot. It just wasn’t particularly close to the entrance. And then, once we entered the Cineplex, we found it to be jumpin’ with people.

Getting close to my ear, Shaun shouted, “What do you say we skip getting a pizza or bowling and just go ahead and get in the popcorn line. It looks like it’ll take a while just to get through that.” He’d bought our tickets on-line, so we could skip that part of the process.

I nodded and shouted back, “Sure. You’re the boss.”

Shaun grinned. “And don’t forget it!” He laughed as he took my hand and led me to the end of the popcorn line.

I have to admit, I felt very self-conscious standing in line, holding Shaun’s hand, wearing a short skirt, heels, make-up, long hair and earrings. Not to mention being constantly stared at by literally dozens of boys. Granted, this happens at school as well, but this seemed to be at a higher level. It really didn’t give me any solace to see that I wasn’t the only girl to get unwanted attention. A fleeting feeling of shame coursed through me as I remembered that I too, would stand there and stare at cute girls. I chuckled at a random thought that maybe all boys should have to spend a month as a girl to see how it feels.

While we were just standing in line, waiting for our turn to get a snack and a drink, a voice called, “Hey Shaun!” We both turned to see Paul one row away. Clarissa was standing behind him.

Shaun said, “Hey Paul. Like, what’s up dude?”

Trying not to shout it too loud, Paul said, “Just wanted to let you know about a grudge race tonight at ten thirty on South Farm Road Fifteen.”

Shaun looked thoughtful for a moment. “Who’s racing?”

Paul responded with, “Hollister and Stokes. Two thousand bucks. Hollister wants his money back.”

Shaun laughed. “Idiot. He’s just going to lose again. His dad is going to kill him blowing all that money. Sure. We’ll be there.” Shaun turned away from Paul.

I sighed. “I guess you can just take me home before you head over to the race.”

Looking disappointed, Shaun said, “I’m sorry, baby. I just figured you’d come along. Have you ever been to a street race?”

I shook my head. “No. I haven’t.”

Grinning, Shaun said, “Well come along then. They’re over pretty quick. As soon as the race ends, we all split to avoid the cops and meet back up at some place like Taco del Rey where everyone is handed their winnings.”

I furrowed my brow. “Winnings?”

Shaun laughed. “Duh! People bet on the race, of course.”

I looked at my feet. “I dunno. My dad said…”

Smirking, Shaun said, “Your daddy won’t be there. Come on. Do something exciting.”

I sighed. “Okay. Just this once.” Shaun put his arm around me.

We finally got our snacks and made our way to the auditorium. Shaun had picked two really good seats. After sitting, I snuggled up against him. He threw his arm around my shoulder and leaned his head against mine. The movie hadn’t really gotten started and I was already in heaven.

The movie was funny with lots of action. Some of the action was pretty intense and I found myself tightly holding Shaun’s hand. I loved being in Shaun’s arms. At one point where the movie slowed down, I looked up and saw Shaun just staring at me. He smiled when he saw me look up. He bent his head down and suddenly his lips were pressed against mine.

I closed my eyes and melted as his soft lips pressed into mine. I actually enjoyed his kiss more than Paul’s which had been just this side of heaven. He pulled back and smiled at me. My emotions are all over the map after his kiss. In the back of my mind, I knew I shouldn’t be on a date with a boy at all. Looking up at this beautiful boy I found myself falling in love. I find Shaun irresistible but I don’t know why. Then he kissed me again.

When the movie’s credits started to roll, if someone was to ask me what the movie I just watched was about, I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t get my mind off Shaun long enough to pay attention.

Shaun took my hand after we got up from our seats. Shaun said, “We need to hurry if we’re going to get to the race by ten thirty.” He then led me by the hand through the crowd of people in the Cineplex and out to the parking lot. I was really hoping to hang around the theater and play some of the latest games as the Cineplex is about the only place to find such games anymore. But to be a good girlfriend, I guess I need to take an interest in the things my boyfriend likes to do.

It didn’t take long to get to the lonely stretch of road where the race would be held. Cars lined the highway on both sides with people milling around in small groups. Shaun parked his car next to Paul’s and we got out and walked over to a large group. I saw Paul in the group, but no Clarissa.

As we approached the group, one guy I’d seen at school was talking on a cell phone. He then said to everyone nearby, “Okay. Mitch said they’re set up and ready.” He pointed at two boys near him, “Okay, guys. Get in your cars and let’s do it.”

One of the boys said, “Wait. Who’s gonna start us?”

The other boy said, “Yeah. It’s gotta be a cute girl.”

Shaun, who was still holding my hand, suddenly lifted my hand up in the air. “We have a volunteer right here!”

One of the boys racing said, “Damn. How did you get the prettiest girl at school to start us?” Shaun just grinned.

I was appalled. I whispered to Shaun, “What are you doing? I don’t know anything about this?”

As he led me to the middle of the street, Shaun said, “It’s easy.” He then said to no one in particular, “Who’s got the flag?”

The guy who’d been talking when we arrived said, “I’ve got it.” He walked up to me and handed me a red rag. “And, since I’d be willing to bet that you’re the most honest person here, you can hold this as well until the race is over.” He then handed me a well worn bank bag. It was kinda heavy.

Horrified at suddenly being involved, as I took the bag, I asked, “What the hell is this?”

Shaun stood me in the middle of the quiet highway as two cars positioned in either lane. He said, “All you have to do, babe, is hold this flag high. When both cars flash their lights, count to ten and drop the flag. And then run straight forward to get clear.”

Getting scared, I said, “I’m going to get run over, aren’t I?”

Shaun patted my butt. He said with a grin, “That’s why I said run forward. Don’t worry babe. You’ll be fine. We’ll then head to Taco del Rey to wrap up the race.”

Down the road, a couple of people had established a finish line at the stop sign at the next intersection.

Scared out of my mind, I stood in front of the two cars that were revving their engines. I glanced over to Shaun and he gave me a thumbs up and grinned. Suddenly both cars flashed their lights to signal they were ready. I counted to ten and dropped the red rag. I was suddenly deafened by the roar of engines and squalling of tires.

Crying, I ran up to Shaun and hit him a few times on his chest. “You bastard! How could you do that to me!?”

Laughing, Shaun grabbed my hand to prevent any more hits. He said, “You did great, Tammy! Now let’s get out of here before the cops decide to arrive.” Everyone started dispersing.

As we got into Shaun’s car, I said, “That was insane!” I managed to buckle my own belt as Shaun started to drive off. I looked out the window and said, “Isn’t Taco del Rey the other way?”

Shaun shook his head. “We won’t go there directly. I’m going to circle around the old gas plant.” We then went easily and quietly down the street so we wouldn’t attract any attention.

As we cruised down the highway toward the gas plant, Shaun’s cell phone rang. He spoke in a low voice so I couldn’t hear clearly. Finally, he hung up and looked over at me. “Well, that sucks. The cops suspected a race tonight so a couple cops are hanging out at Taco del Rey. We can take care of the money tomorrow evening during our regular meeting on the mall parking lot. I need to take you home anyway.”

I folded my arms tightly under what passed for breasts. I stared straight ahead. “Am I a criminal now? Are we Bonnie and Clyde?”

Shaun chuckled. “What are you talking about? The cops don’t know you. Nobody is going to rat you out.”

I looked over at him and scowled. “How could you do that to me?”

Shaun looked at me curiously. “Didn’t you have fun? Wasn’t that exciting to drop the flag between two powerful cars with their engines roaring and the smell of burning rubber? I’d be surprised if the front of your panties don’t have a wet spot.”

His car rolled up along the curb in front of my house.

I disconnected my seat belt and scowled at Shaun. “I was terrified! I mean really! How could you do that to me? I hate you!”

He slid closer to me. “Girl, I could tell you were excited.”

I continued to keep my arms folded tightly in front of me. “I’m serious. I hate you!”

Shaun leaned in close and whispered. “I didn’t hear you.” His face was almost up against mine.

I whispered back, “I… I said I ha…”

His lips suddenly pressed into mine.

He pulled back a moment. I whispered, “I said I hate you.”

He put his arm around my neck and pulled me towards his lips. He kissed me hard and I moaned softly. I put my arms around his neck as he kissed me deeply. I gasped, “Oh Shaun…” He was kissing me passionately. He pushed me back against the car door as we kissed with deep passion. I closed my eyes and moaned. I sucked his tongue into my mouth. I wanted his kiss to go deeper. I wanted to kiss him forever. He started massaging my breast, my nipple becoming rock hard.

I was kissing his neck and nibbling his ear. He kissed along my neck and shoulders. Before I realized it, he’d pulled my tank top over my head. We continued to kiss in overheated passion. I was having trouble breathing. I felt my bra go lose as Shaun unsnapped it.

Suddenly his lips were on my small breast, his tongue pressing into my nipple. Oh God I wanted him so bad. He pressed his crotch of his pants against my panties. As I continued to gasp with his kisses, I wanted him, but this had to stop. This was going too far and way too fast.

Sucking on my nipple, Shaun gasped, “I want you, baby. I need you.” His words finally broke me out of the lustful insanity clouding my mind. Breathing heavy, I broke away from him and put my palms on his chest to try to push him away.

He gave me a confused look as I tried to push him back. I said, “Shaun, no. We can’t do this. Please stop.” He bit my nipple before pulling away. I had let him get me carried away. I didn’t mean to place my hand there, but in trying to move him back I pushed on the hardness in his pants and he suddenly groaned loudly and I was surprised to find the front of his pants very wet as well as my hand. I couldn’t believe how much got on my hand.

I don’t know what possessed me to do so, but I licked my fingers. I started to cry. This was nuts. How could I let this happen? I just had sex with a boy! This doesn’t really count, does it? I didn’t even see his thing.

Grinning, Shaun leaned over and gave me a long, deep kiss. He pulled back and looked me straight into my eyes and said, “I love you, Tammy.”

And under a cloud of temporary stupidity, I said in a lusty whisper, “I love you too.” I can’t believe I said it. I just told a boy I loved him. I couldn’t possibly mean it. I looked into his eyes and said, “Oh God. I love you so much.”

Shaun tapped his phone and he said, “It’s eleven fifteen. You should probably get to your house.”

I looked up and couldn’t see anything as the windows were all fogged over. My bra was laying on the car floor. If don’t have my bra on when I enter the house, Dad is going to kill me. Or kill Shaun. Or both of us. I managed to put it on quickly enough. Where the hell did my tank top go? Shaun found it in the back seat. I quickly put it on.

After I got my clothes back on and hopefully my hair presentable. I opened the passenger door. “Good night, Shaun. Thanks for an… um, interesting evening.”

Shaun smiled. “I had a great time, Tammy. I’d love to take you out again.”

“I’d like to go out again too,” I said trying to smile. “Maybe just get a taco or something.”

Shaun looked at me and grinned. He bent over and gave me a quick kiss. He said, “Good-night, babe.”

I slid out of Shaun’s car and ran towards the house as I heard Shaun gun his engine and he sped away. Dad of course was still awake when I walked through the door. His eyes widened when he saw me and as he just shook his head, he said, “Go to bed.”

I said, “Good night, Daddy.” I ran to my bedroom. I almost passed out in shock when I saw my face. Holy crap! My face was a total disaster! What Dad must have thought when he saw how much my make-up was smeared. I ran to the bathroom to wash my face. It was then that I noticed I could still smell Shaun on my fingers. I hoped Dad didn’t notice. I hoped it wasn’t going to take gasoline to remove the smell.

“You did what?!” screamed my sister Cynthia over the phone. “Did he penetrate you? Does he now know you’re not really a girl?”

Keeping my voice low so Dad didn’t overhear me talking to Cynthia, I said, “To be honest, I never actually saw or touched his thing.”

Obvious relief in her voice Cynthia said, “I think then, that means that technically you’re still a virgin. I could ask Mom if you like.”

“No! No, no. That’s okay.” I said quickly. I’m sure she was joking, but you can’t be too sure.

“Still, girl. You need to tone things down a bit. Next time you might not be so lucky,” said Cynthia stating the obvious. “So. Now that you’ve slept on it, do you still think you’re in love with Shaun?”

I smiled at the phone. “To be honest sis, I uh…” I stumbled over the words, not really wanting to say it. “Yes, I love Shaun.”

“No!” shouted Cynthia. “You do not love Shaun! You can’t.”

“But I do love him,” I said sincerely. “I really do. And I think he loves me.”

“No. Just because he fucked you, doesn’t mean he loves you!” exclaimed my sister.

“You just said he didn’t,” I said, feeling confused.

“Close enough,” said my sister. “There’s been several times I thought I was in love too, one of those times being with Paul. But it turned out to not be the case.”

“It sure feels like love,” I said in my defense.

Sounding cynical, Cynthia said, “And how would you know what love feels like?”

I said, “I’ve felt it before.”

“When was that?” asked Cynthia.

“After kissing Paul.”

Cynthia laughed. “Well, there’s your problem! You fall for every boy you kiss! You need to stop that!”

“Stop kissing boys or falling in love?”

Cynthia simply said, “Yes!”

“I can’t help who I fall in love with,” I said seriously.

“This is true,” agreed Cynthia. “Just do yourself and me a favor and just slow down. I don’t want you getting hurt so be careful how you toss that word ‘love’ around.”

After a few more minutes on the phone with Cynthia telling me how much she’s in love with her co-star, we disconnected. But Cynthia is right. I let things get out of hand and I’m not sure how to fix it. Is what I feel for Shaun really love or just infatuation? I just need to stop dating boys. At least stop dating the most beautiful ones. When I talked to Cathy, she just said she was happy for me and hoped everything worked out.

When I entered the kitchen looking for something to eat, Dad was at the kitchen table munching on a Pop Tart. He pointed at the chair opposite him and slid the box of Pop Tarts over to that side of the table.

I sat down and looked in the box. Dad just stared at me for several moments. Finally, he said, “Son, we need to talk. I try not to meddle in your as well as your sister’s lives. But sometimes, as a parent I have to. Look. I’m not a prude or anything, but I’ve had enough experience with your sister coming home from a hot date with a face that looked like yours last night to have a good guess about what went on. Honestly, I never dreamed I’d be having this conversation with my son. And I really have to ask about a couple of things. I saw a suspicious spot on your skirt last night. Tell me the truth, son. Did you have sex with that boy?”

How do I answer him? I’m not entirely sure of the answer myself. There was no penetration. I didn’t even see Shaun’s penis. But it’s obvious I turned him on and he just couldn’t hold back his reaction. And I tasted it. Is that sex?

I felt tears welling up. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “No Daddy. I didn’t. I’m not saying things didn’t get hot but I didn’t have sex with Shaun.”

Dad nodded. “I’m going to trust you. Just don’t give me a reason not to. The other thing I want to ask you about. Last night there was a street race. Were you and your boyfriend there?”

I had a feeling Dad already knew the answer. So I’d get into some serious shit if I lied. I nodded. “Yes, Daddy. Shaun wanted to watch this grudge race.”

Dad nodded. “Thanks for being honest. I saw a video on the computer this morning of the start of the race and saw you dropping the starter flag. That was a dangerous thing to do. Those cars have too much power for the kids driving them to handle safely.”

I shrugged. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I was asked to do it.” I didn’t want to say Shaun pushed me into it. I didn’t want to give Dad a reason to tell me not to see Shaun anymore.

Dad interlaced his fingers and said, “You know those races are illegal, right?”

I nodded.

Dad continued, “I’m not going to tell you not to go with your boyfriend to these races. You’re just like your sister and I know you’ll go anyway to be with your boyfriend. But if I have to come down to the police station to pick you up, you’ll be grounded until you’re thirty. Understood?”

I nodded. “I understand, Daddy.” I knew he wasn’t kidding.

I had run into Cathy outside the school building. We had a few minutes before classes started.

Cathy asked, “Do you think he really means that?”

I nodded. “I don’t think he can ground me past my eighteenth birthday, but yeah. He was pretty hot about it. I mean, he’s never liked street racers anyway.”

Cathy shook her head. “So is he going to say you can’t date Shaun?”

“Not yet. He doesn’t like me dating boys anyway and then add that Shaun is a street racer; it makes it tougher,” I said with a sigh.

Cathy smirked at me. “Just keep your nose clean, girl. I gotta run. See you at lunch.”

I gave her a grin as I looked down at my phone. I was about to be late myself. As I rushed into the school entrance, I heard my name called. I turned around and saw Shaun running up to me.

I flashed him a big smile. “Hey, honey.” He slid a hand down one of my back jeans pocket and walked into the school with me. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be by to pick you up tonight around seven.”

I gave him a confused look. “Is this a date?”

Shaun shrugged. “We might get something to eat if you want. But there’s a car club get-together tonight in the parking lot of the old water park. I wanted you to meet some of the guys.” There used to be a water park in town with water slides, swimming pools and an arcade and it all went belly up before I was born. “Are you okay with that?”

I smiled at him. “Of course. Just kinda took me by surprise.”

Shaun said, “I guess I should have called, but hey, you’re my girl now. You should know I’m spontaneous. Gotta run.”

As he hurried off, I smiled to myself. I’m his girl.

I floated through my morning classes on a pink cloud of girldom. As the lunch bell rang, I started to put away my spiral notebook that was reserved for the notes for my history class. I glanced at it and on the first page, I’d run out of space to write Shaun’s name over and over. I’ll have to borrow someone’s notes because I don’t think I heard anything the teacher said.

After I picked up my lunch in the cafeteria, I saw Cathy wave to me. She was of course sitting with the other cheerleaders. I started to head in her direction when suddenly, Shaun’s hand was on my lower back and redirecting me.

Shaun said, “Hey baby. Why don’t we go sit with the guys?”

I hesitated. “I was going to sit with my friends.”

Shaun glanced over to where Cathy was sitting. “The cheerleaders? Who wants to sit with those stuck-up bitches?”

I stopped walking and Shaun almost knocked the tray out of my hands. Pissed, I said, “I’m a cheerleader! Am I a stuck-up bitch too?”

He knew he’d just stuck his foot in his mouth. He said, “No. You’re my girlfriend. I need you with me.”

I smiled at him. Well, I guess if he needs me. I let him lead me to the table his friends were sitting. He pointed to where I should set my tray down.

Shaun stood behind me and said, “I’m sure you all know Tammy. You see her every week at the pep rallies. I’m hoping to get her involved with our club.”

The guy who had given me the bank bag smiled at me. “Thanks again, Tammy for being the starter. Thanks for holding on to the cash. Shaun and I got it all handled Sunday afternoon.”

One of the guys I hadn’t seen before said, “Sexy girls are always welcome.”

The conversation switched to car talk, with everyone talking about what they’re doing to their cars and who they think can win. I was more than happy to have the focus switch from me. Shaun held my hand the whole time.

I didn’t think he would, but sure enough, right at seven, Shaun shows up at the front door. He doesn’t come in. He just waits from me. I had changed my clothes and freshened my make-up and then he led me to his car.

After kissing me, Shaun said, “I found this great little place to eat. I think you’ll love it.”

I turned towards him and not wanting to sound annoyed, I said, “I’m sure it’s great, Shaun. But I really would appreciate more time to get ready for a date.”

He nodded. “I guess I did rush things. But baby, I just want to be with you.”

I laughed and said, “Well, don’t wear me out.”

He put his hand on my cheek and very seriously looked me in the eyes. In a breathy voice, he said, “I love you, baby.” Then his lips were pressed against mine. I closed my eyes and leaned into his kiss.

He pulled back and slowly drove his car away from the curb. I just sat there and stared at his beautiful face. What have I done?

Looking incredulous, Cathy asked, “You went out again? That’s three nights in a row.”

“I love him Cathy, but this really seems excessive. He calls me after he brings me home to say good night and I don’t mind making out in his car. Last night he took me to a race. I think he wants me to join him more often.” Cathy and I were standing outside the school building, waiting for the bell to ring. Or should I say waiting for Shaun to arrive to walk me inside.

Cathy gave me a long look. “I’ll be honest with you. I think he’s more obsessed with you than in love.” She chuckled. “He’s going to have some serious separation anxiety this weekend when we go out of town for the first play-off game.”

I took a deep breath and asked Cathy, “Should I be worried with him showing so much attention? He doesn’t even like me talking to other guys.”

“Tammy, you need to be careful,” said Cathy. “Tell him ‘no’ once in a while for God’s sake. I don’t think he’s evil, but he’s definitely trying to possess you. Oh. He’s here.”

About then Shaun came up and put his arm around my waist. “Hey babe. Heya Cathy. How’s everything going?”

Cathy said, “I’ll leave you two alone. Girl, call me later.”

I smiled at Shaun. “Going good. I’m excited about tomorrow morning when we leave for the game tomorrow night. Are you coming?”

Shaun shook his head. “Probably not. Lack of funds. Do you really have to go?”

I laughed. “Of course I have to go, silly.” I pointed at the uniform I was wearing. “I’m a cheerleader, see? Are you coming to the pep rally this morning?”

Shaun grinned. “Of course I’m coming! It’s just the weekend won’t be the same if you’re gone.”

I frowned at him. “I’ll be back late Saturday night. It’s not like I’ll be gone all weekend.”

Shaun nodded. “But hey. I’ll be by the same as usual tonight about seven.”

Frowning again, I said, “I have to get up early in the morning.”

Shaun shrugged. “We won’t be out that late.” He stepped back a moment to look at me. “What’s wrong babe?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Shaun, it’s just… well, it’s just you don’t ever ask. You just tell me we’re going out.”

Shaun stepped back and looked irritated. “Well, I’m sorry. I thought you liked going out. Say the word and I’m out of here.”

I shook my head at Shaun. “Oh stop it. You know I love you and love being with you. But sometimes you just need a break.”

Nodding, Shaun said, “I get it. I understand. Maybe I have been a bit too intense.”

I smiled at him and said, “Thanks.”

Shaun asked, “Just curious. Did you have any plans for this evening?”

I said, “Not really. I kinda thought…”

Shaun grinned. “Great! I’ll pick you up at seven! Gotta run.” He then darted off into the school.

I sighed as I watched him go.

Dad frowned at me. “Going out again? I thought we might watch a movie on TV. And you have that trip in the morning.”

As I brushed my hair, I said, “Shaun promised not to keep me out too late. He knows about the trip.”

Dad shook his head. “You’ve been seeing an awful lot of that boy lately. It’s every night. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

I shrugged. “I love him, Daddy. I want to be with him all the time.”

Dad’s frown deepened. “There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. And honey, that skirt is much too short.”

Outside, I heard a car door close.

“He’s here, Daddy. I don’t have time to change.” I kissed his cheek. “Bye Daddy. Love you.” I ran out the front door before Shaun even had a chance to ring the doorbell.

Shaun grinned broadly as I ran up to him and kissed him. He said, “Oh baby. You’re looking hot tonight.” He took my hand and led me back to his car.

He kissed me again after we got inside his car. He said, “You’ve never seen me race, have you? Thought you’d want to watch.”

Unsure of how I felt about that, I asked, “You have a race? With who?”

As his engine rumbled into life, Shaun said, “Never met him. Some punk from across town challenged me. He thinks he has the hottest car on the strip.”

Worried, I said, “Well, who cares what he thinks, right? He’s a nobody.”

Shaun shook his head. “I can’t walk away from a challenge. I have to shut him down. I’ll blow his doors off.” He looked at me and then leaned over and ruffled my hair. “Don’t worry about it.”

We drove down a dark desert highway. Rows of cars lined both sides of the street. He found a spot to park. As we got out of his car he said, “There’s a race before I go. Joey and Carl got into a snit over who’s car is fastest. Joey has beat Carl three times already.”

They were just getting ready to roll their cars out. There was a skinny blonde with her arm around Joey. I’ve seen her around school, but couldn’t remember her name. I was shocked when I saw her reach inside Joey’s car and extract a helmet which she immediately put on, pushing her hair under the helmet.

I had my arm around Shaun. I looked up at him and said, “That girl is putting on a helmet!”

Shaun nodded. “Yeah. So? That’s his girlfriend. She’s going to ride with him.”

My eyes widened as I said, “You’re kidding! Seriously? Isn’t that dangerous?”

Shaun shrugged. “No more dangerous than usual. Joey is a good driver. We haven’t had anybody crash since last summer.”

Worried, I watched the girl climb in through the passenger window as the door wouldn’t open. I held Shaun tight as another girl walked out between the cars and held up a red rag. Both cars were rocking back and forth from revving. The girl dropped the flag and both cars disappeared in clouds of burning rubber.

As it turned out, Joey won the race. He came driving back. Carl damaged his engine and was going to have to get a tow back to his house.

I just stood back as Shaun checked under his hood. Apparently there wasn’t a lot of worry about cops showing up. While I was standing there, the skinny blonde that rode with Joey walked up to me.

“Hi. I’m Angel. Are you Shaun’s girlfriend?”

I turned to her and smiled. “Hey Angel. Yeah, I’m Tammy, Shaun’s girlfriend.” It still seemed odd to say I was Shaun’s girlfriend.

“Are you going to ride with him?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No. I don’t think I should.” Dad made me promise I wouldn’t.

Angel looked at me curiously. “Why not? It’s really cool. It’s such a rush! Don’t you ride with him normally?”

I nodded. “I ride with him all the time. It just seems overly risky for a race.”

Angel chuckled. “Really? You’re worried with Shaun driving? Girl, he’s the best. You should try it. It’s a blast.”

Shaun walked up behind Angel. “Were you thinking of riding with me? I’d love to have you come. You could be my good luck charm.”

I smiled weakly at Shaun. “I don’t know, honey. Seems scary to me. Besides. My dad is against it.”

Shaun chuckled. “I’m not going to say you have to. But your dad doesn’t seem to be here.”

“I… I don’t know.”

Shaun shrugged. “Well, I got to get my car on the line.” He started to walk away.

Angel held her helmet out to me. “Here Tammy. You know you want to.” She grinned at me.

I hesitated a second as I watched Shaun walk to his car. I looked at Angel who nodded. “How do I put this on?”

Angel grinned and told me to pull on the straps to spread the helmet enough to squeeze my head inside. She then ran the strap through the D rings. Grinning, Angel said, “You’re good to go.”

I started to run towards Shaun. Stupid helmet was heavier than I expected. I shouted, “Shuan, wait!” He turned around and saw me running to him with the helmet on.

He smiled and waved me towards him. “Come on!”

Shaun helped me in and buckled the five point harness and made sure it was snug. He then put on his own helmet and got in his car. His car rumbled up to the starting line. I watched the girl with the flag step between the cars. With the revving engines, I was getting really nervous. Both cars signaled they were ready and the girl dropped the flag.

With a roar of the engine and squal of the tires, I was shoved into the back of my seat. I was vibrating like crazy as we dashed down the street. I saw the other car through the window as we slowly pulled ahead. I thought I was going to throw up.

And then Shaun let up on the gas, loud popping from the exhaust. I was pushed forward against the harness as Shaun applied the brakes. As we slowed down, Shaun looked over to me, his eyes bright.

“We won, babe! After I saw that punk’s car tonight, I thought I might not beat him. But you were my good luck charm!”

I smiled at him, happy to help him win, though I didn’t believe any of it. But holy shit… was that a rush!

Shaun rolled his car up to the curb in front of my house. We were back well before my curfew because I had to get up early for the school trip.

He turned and put his arm around my neck. He said, “I’m going to miss you, baby. Even though it’s just a few hours, it will seem like forever.”

I smiled at him. “Don’t be so melodramatic, honey.”

He leaned closer to me. “I’m serious, babe. I truly have never loved anyone as much as I love you. You’re the most wonderful girl I’ve ever met. Not just gorgeous, but smart and great sense of humor. You’re perfect.”

I shook my head. “Nobody’s perfect, honey. I love you more than any other boy, but let’s not get carried away.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. Oh God. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. I slid my arms around his neck. Why do I love this boy so much? We kissed for a long time.

I looked over at Cathy in the darkness of the school bus. She didn’t say anything. She just shook her head. I looked around to all the cheerleaders. We all had the dark rings and black streaks down our cheeks. I think we were all cried out. I know it’s silly to cry about the results of a high school football game. But we’re all cheerleaders and have a deep emotional investment in our school.

It was our first play-off game and we traveled half-way across the state just to have it all end with a 13 to 0. It wasn’t just the cheerleaders who were crying.

In a quiet voice, I said to Cathy, “I guess this ends my cheerleading career. I don’t know if I even know how to be a boy anymore.”

Cathy narrowed her eyes at me. “What are you talking about, Tammy? You’re a girl. We still need you as a cheerleader. That doesn’t end with football season. Don’t forget about basketball and track and field.”

“Are you sure? I thought I was a cheerleader just during football,” I said looking at the passing car headlights out the bus windows. “Besides. My sister should be back in a few weeks.

Cathy shook her head. “I don’t think it’s just football. And besides. You’re a girl. Period.”

I grunted. “I’m sure the school has other ideas.”

Cathy looked at me and said, “I overhead coach tell the principal that she has you until graduation. You’re too valuable as a cheerleader to lose. Besides, I don’t believe you want to be a boy.”

I thought of Shaun. “You could be right.”

You wouldn’t have expected it from the emotional trip back home that night after the game, but life and school goes on and the world seemed to take little notice. My romance with Shaun started to heat up. How could it possibly get any hotter?

Shaun must have paid attention to me, because he started asking for dates instead of assuming I wanted it. I rarely said no, but I was happy that he was asking. And we’re not always having an expensive dinner at Gildersleaves. Or even a cheap one at Taco del Rey. One beautiful October Saturday, Shaun got a bucket of chicken and I brought a blanket to lay on the grass along with some sodas and we had a wonderful picnic of laying by the lake at the park. Not to mention a lot of kissing and fondling.

Every time we were together, there was that underlying tension of sexual desire. Shaun really wanted to dive deeper into our relationship. Cynthia was adamant that I avoid sex, even if it was actually an option. After all, I’m only seventeen and still in school. Cynthia said that if she can avoid sex with all the constant temptations in Hollywood then I should be able to tell one boy no. I have to anyway. I should never have become Shaun’s girlfriend. Or even Paul’s. Or anyone’s. Cynthia was right when she said I was playing with fire.

But continuing to live for the moment instead of being smart, I kept going with Shaun to his street races. Not just attending, but riding with Shaun. Guilt weighed on my shoulders as I continued to lie to Dad where I was going. I foolishly thought I could keep Dad in the dark forever. Cynthia, while she wouldn’t rat me out, kept reminding me that I was playing with fire. But nothing seemed to matter more than my love for Shaun.

Dad looked pissed when he said, “Why do you keep dressing like that? I mean, what’s happened to you?”

I was wearing a micro mini skirt and skimpy tank top exposing my bra along with high heel strappy sandals. I was also wearing more eye make-up than I used to along with a red lipstick. I usually stick with pastels. Shaun loved my new looks.

I said, “I’m growing up, Daddy. I’m not that sweet little girl you used to kiss goodnight.”

Frowning, Dad said, “That’s the issue here. You never were that sweet little girl. But you were my sweet daughter. What happened to her?”

I heard the front door open. Shaun doesn’t knock anymore. He such a fixture around the house, he just comes in. I don’t think Dad likes that. I said, “It’s like I just told you, Daddy. Anyway, Shaun’s here. Catch me later.” I picked up my purse and left my room. Shaun put his arm around my waist and we kissed. He led me to his car.

I felt a pang of guilt as I entered Shaun’s car. I’m turning into a bitch.

“Where are we going?” I asked as I fastened the five point harness.

“Remember that punk from a couple weeks ago?” asked Shaun as he started up his car. I nodded. “He’s back and he’s challenged me again. I’ve heard his car is a beast.”

I looked over at Shaun and pouted, “You said you were going to stop racing so you can spend more time with me.”

Shaun smiled wryly. “I didn’t say *when* I was going to stop. But this is a personal challenge, babe. I can’t just walk away from it.”

I frowned. “Yes you can. Nobody cares about all these race results. Just tell this clown to get bent.”

Shaun shook his head. “No. This is a personal challenge. I have to accept it. I don’t expect a girl to understand.”

I think I was just put in my place. I said, “Shaun, if you love me, you’ll stop this pointless racing.”

Shaun’s eyes flashed a furious anger. “Don’t you ever say that! Girl you know I love you, but don’t try to come between me and racing. Racing is who I am. If you can’t handle that, then maybe you’re not the right girl for me!”

I really need to stop wearing mascara. I felt tears welling up. “Don’t say that! I love you more than anything! I’m just… worried.”

Shaun cupped his hand on my cheek. He looked over at me and smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me, Sweetness. I’m the best. Remember?” I nodded as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I took my compact out of my purse to fix my make-up.

This must be a big event. There were a lot of cars lining the street and a lot of people. Several waved at us as Shaun slowly drove his car next to his challenger. While Shaun’s car was mostly factory on the outside with its deep glossy black finish, the other guy’s car was painted flat black. There was also a supercharger scoop jutting out of the hood. Shaun’s car just had a hump in the hood where it sat over the turbo charger.

When Shaun stopped at the starting line, a guy walked up to the drivers window. He said, “We need to start this now. Somehow the cops got wind of this race and they’ll be here soon.”

Shaun nodded. “Let’s do it.” He started revving his engine as I put my helmet on. Shaun had got me my own helmet. A girl I knew from English class ran between our cars holding a red flag. Both cars revved their engines up and then the girl dropped the flag.

The scream of tortured tires filled my ears and both cars were enveloped in the smoke of burning rubber. The challenger’s car immediately pulled ahead, the supercharger giving him an instant kick in power. I was confident that Shaun’s car would catch him and pass him further down the street.

Just as we pulled even with the challenger, there was an explosion under his hood and his car jerked savagely into Shaun’s. The impact actually broke the hood latch and it flipped back against the windshield, shattering the glass in several places. Shaun fought hard to keep control of his car as we skidded sideways, tires shrieking. I screamed. The other car rolled three times before coming to rest on its top.

Shaun finally killed the engine and brought the car to a stop. I just sat there shaking and crying. I was absolutely terrified. The night was suddenly filled with red and blue flashing lights.

Shaun reached over to touch my arm. “Tammy! Are you okay?”

I took a quick inventory of myself and decided I wasn’t hurt. I said, “I’m okay. What about you?”

He growled through his helmet, “I think I dislocated my shoulder.”

A flashlight was suddenly in my eyes. Through the window, a police officer said, “Please exit the car, miss.” Great. I’m going to be arrested.

When I got out of the car, I was asked to remove the helmet. I looked around and it was mass chaos. People were running everywhere. Some cars were trying to get away only to be stopped. The girl who had flagged the start was being treated rather gruffly by two cops who were handcuffing her. She was resisting, so that just made it worse. I was too numb. I cried as handcuffs were snapped onto my wrists. I saw the driver of the other car being placed on a stretcher and a cop was spraying a fire extinguisher into the car’s engine compartment. I had no idea what happened to Shaun.

Taking my arm, a cop led me over to a police car. Inside was another girl, crying and looking terrified. The cop pushed my head down to clear the door frame of the police car. The girl looked up at me as I sat down. She said in a whispered whimper, “My dad’s going to kill me.” Me too, sister. Me too.

“Mr. Garret? I’m Lt. Lewinsky at the police department. I’m calling about your daughter, Tammy Garret. …. Yes, she’s safe and we have her in custody. She was arrested at an illegal street race. Yes sir… yes sir… She was in one of the vehicles involved in the accident. Yes, sir. We’re sure. She was inside one of the cars involved when she was taken into custody. … She had no injuries, confirmed by paramedics on the scene. … Yes, sir…. Yes, sir. We are not pressing charges this time. … Yes, that’s correct. She’s waiting for you to come pick her up. No sir. We can’t leave her in jail to teach her a lesson. … Yes, sir. Just come down to the station and pick her up. Thank you.”

The police officer hung up the phone where he apparently was having a conversation with my dad. He looked over at me and smiled. “Your father will be here shortly to pick you up. Just stay in your seat until he arrives.”

I stared at the floor and cried. “He’s going to kill me.”

The police officer flashed a brief smile. “Oh I doubt that. Your father seemed quite concerned and was glad to hear you were safe.”

I looked dourly at the cop. “I guess you’ve never had parents. One moment they’re all ‘oh thank God you’re safe!’ and the next moment they’re beating the shit out of you for making them worry.”

The cop looked down his nose at me. “Regardless, your father will be here soon to take you home. Just sit tight.”

I sat there quietly, leaned over to stare at the floor. Occasionally a tear drop would hit the floor. How the hell did I arrive at this point? Just because I volunteered to be a girl for a few weeks? Cynthia’s been a girl her whole life and she’s never been arrested. Boys. I was warned not to get involved with boys. Boys will always get you into trouble, I was told. If I’d never kissed Paul, I would never have wanted to kiss Shaun. This is all Paul’s fault. And why the hell did Donna have to stop that afternoon in the gym to watch Shaun and those other boys? If she’d just let us walk on past, I’d never met Shaun and I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Donna needs a good slapping! Shit man. My problems all started when that little tease sister of mine just had to go make a movie leaving me to be the nice guy who against his own principals agreed to take her place as a cheerleader! Damn her eyes! It’s all her fault!

I don’t know how long I sat there waiting. But after a while, two feet appeared in my field of view. I looked up and saw Dad scowling at me. I attempted a smile. “Hey, Daddy.”

Dad asked, “I hope you have a good explanation for this.”

I stayed seated and exclaimed, “Daddy. This isn’t what it looks like.”

Dad looked over at the cop seated at his desk. The cop smiled knowingly. Dad asked, “Are we good to go?”

The cop smiled. “Yes, Mr. Garret. Everything is signed and here’s your receipt.” Taking the slip of paper, Dad nodded to the cop.

Looking at me, Dad said sternly. “Get up. Let’s go home.” He looked around and asked, “Is that boy here?”

As I stood up, I asked, “Shaun?” I looked at the cop “He’s probably in jail.” I said sadly.

Dad frowned. “I hope you got a good look at him that last time because you’re never seeing him again!”

A shot of cold ran through me. “What do you mean?”

Setting his jaw, Dad said, “First, I’m pressing charges against him. He had no business putting you in danger. And secondly, I’m forbidding you from ever seeing him again.”

“But Daddy!” I shouted. “I love him!”

Dad shook his head. “You’re done with him. For good!” I saw a female cop at her desk across the room snicker.

“I love him!” I cried.

Dad grumbled, “Stop talking nonsense. I should never have let you date him in the first place. Let’s go.” Dad started walking towards the exit.

I started bawling my eyes out as I fell in behind Dad as we walked out the door. He can’t tell me I can’t see Shaun! I’m almost eighteen!

When we got to our car, Dad opened a back door for me. He said, “I blame myself. I should never, ever have allowed you to date a boy. You have no business dating boys. Especially if you trick them into believing you’re a girl.”

It was very late and I was exhausted. Dad didn’t even have to tell me to go straight to bed.

“You got arrested!” exclaimed Cynthia. “How cool is that?” It was the Sunday after the worst night of my life and my sister decided to invade what peace and tranquility I had by giving me a phone call.

I frowned at the phone. “How is it cool? I now have a police record!”

Cynthia laughed. “Yeah. As a girl! That’s too funny.”

“On top of that, I could have been killed!” I cried over the phone.

“Yeah, there’s that,” said Cynthia dismissively. “I have to say, I don’t blame Dad for being pissed at your boyfriend. You notice NASCAR drivers don’t take their honeys with them on a race.”

“I’m a little pissed at him myself, but how can Dad justify saying I can’t ever see him again?” I asked.

Cynthia sighed. “He’s our dad and he has veto power until I think we’re thirty.”

“But I love Shaun!” I exclaimed. “He has no right to keep me away from him!”

Cynthia said, “Shaun almost got you killed.”

“Bull shit!” I cried. “I didn’t get my hair messed up, much less killed or anything.”

Sounding stern, Cynthia said, “Give it up, girl. Dad isn’t going to back down. He talked to Mom this morning and she agrees. Look, Shaun was fun, but seriously girl. You need to find a new boy.”

I sighed. “I should just stop dating boys altogether. I shouldn’t anyway.”

Cynthia said, “You don’t want to quit boys! Girl, let me tell you something. You really need to come out here. These aren’t dopy high school boys. These are college guys. In their twenties or even older!”

“Horse shit!” I exclaimed. “No way would Mom let you date a college guy!”

Cynthia laughed. “She doesn’t need to know!”

In the background, I heard Mom say, “What?”

Hurriedly, Cynthia whispered into the phone. “Talk to you later. I gotta go.” She hung up.

It was like two thirty in the morning when my phone buzzed. The caller ID said it was Shaun calling. I quickly answered.

“Shaun!” I whispered excitedly into the phone. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you all week at school!”

Shaun said, “Babe, come outside. Your dad might hear you in the house. Be very quiet. I’m parked in front of your house.” He hung up.

I blinked at the phone for a few seconds. What the hell? I was in my satin blue baby doll PJ’s. I didn’t care. I wanted to see Shaun! I quickly got out of bed and crept as quietly as I could through the house to the front door. I gently opened the door and hurried outside. Shaun was standing in the darkness next to his still damaged car. I ran up to him and hugged him.

Shaun put his arms around me and held me tight. He bent his head down and kissed me passionately. He leaned back and exclaimed in a hushed voice. “Oh God, baby. You are so gorgeous! I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too, Shaun!” I whispered in the darkness. My arms around his neck, I kissed him deeply. “Where have you been? I didn’t see you at school.”

Shaun sighed. “I got expelled. God, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”

Shaun then held me out at arms length. “Here’s what I need you to do, baby. Go back into your house and get dressed. Pack just a few things you can’t live without and hurry back out.”

I gave Shaun a confused look. “Pack? Why?”

Shaun grinned. His teeth white in the darkness. He said, “You could say we’re eloping. Yeah. Word it that way for your parents so it doesn’t seem like a kidnapping. As soon as you’re packed and in the car, we’re heading down to Mexico. I have some friends down there. As soon as we cross the border, I’ll get a priest to marry us. You’ll be my wife!”

I stepped back from Shaun and asked in shock, “Married? Wife? Why? I’m just seventeen! I haven’t finished school yet!”

Setting his jaw in a grim expression, Shaun said, “Exactly. When you’re my wife, we won’t have to listen to oppressive fathers and school administrators.” His face burst into a wide grin. “Think of it babe! Just the two of us. Starting new lives. Starting our own family. No one to tell us what to do. It’ll be great!”

This is insane! This is crazy! I can’t marry Shaun. Dad would claim this as a kidnapping married or not. And as soon as Shaun takes my clothes off, he’ll hate me. I can’t go with him! I mean, I just can’t!

He tugged on my arm. “I love you, Shaun, but I just can’t go to Mexico and marry you! I can’t just leave home!” I started to cry again, but at least this time I wasn’t wearing any mascara.

Shaun grasped my shoulders. “I have to leave! With or without you. I love you, baby. I need you. Come with me! I want to make you mine!”

I was shaking as I cried. “Oh Shaun, I love you so much. I would marry you, but … but I just can’t. I can’t go with you.”

I was surprised to see tears forming in Shaun’s eyes. He nodded. He then put his arms around me in a tight embrace. Into my ear, he said, “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, Tammy. I will always love you.” He then kissed me long and deep. I closed my eyes and slid my arms around his neck as we kissed probably for the last time. I didn’t want to let him go. He finally pulled away. He touched my cheek. “Stay beautiful.” He turned away and got into his car. I collapsed on the cold, damp grass.

Just then, Dad came bounding out of the house. Shaun’s car roared to life and with a squeal of tires, he roared away.

Dad shouted at me, “Is that who I think it is? What the hell is he doing here?”

Crying, I said, “He came to say good-bye. He’s gone forever, Daddy.”

Scowling, Dad just said, “Good riddance!” He looked at me for a moment and then asked, “He didn’t hurt you or anything, did he?”

I heaved a huge sigh. “Just my heart.” I thought it best not to mention that Shaun wanted me to leave with him.

Dad turned and walked back into the house.

I just sat in the damp grass and cried.