"Okay then," Luke said confidently as he looked up at his twin sister. "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Lucy replied. "We do this together, right?"

"Aye, always," Luke said, giving his sister a gentle pat on the back as the two of them walked toward the imposing main gate of Durham University...

----------

Luke and Lucy Miller were born on the 22nd of March 2001 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne as the first, second and ultimately only children of their parents, both of whom worked hard to provide for their children. Growing up, the pair were almost as inseparable as they had been in the womb, always playing together at school, sharing the same friends, even sharing the same toys- even those toys that were traditionally only enjoyed by boys or girls. When they were younger, they even occasionally shared each other's clothes- such as before their first day of primary school.

"Do you think mummy and daddy will be angry at us?" Lucy asked as she fastened the grey school trousers around her waist.

"They don't get angry when we wear each other's t-shirts," Luke replied, before sharing a grin with his sister as their father knocked on their bedroom door and let himself in.

"Now then, you two!" Paul- the twins' father- said with a proud smile on his face. "All ready for your first day at school? Let's get yas downstairs, I want to take some pictures before we- oh- oh, right. Very funny you two!"

"What's funny, daddy?" Luke asked as he fiddled with the elastic waistband of the pleated skirt that covered his upper legs.

"You know what!" Paul said, before sighing. "Come on, get your trousers and your skirt off, it was a funny joke but we need to be serious now, and you'll especially need to be serious when you get to school!"

"But why can't we go to school dressed like this?" Lucy asked, her mouth curling into a pout as her father helped her remove her trousers before holding out her skirt for her to step into.

"Well, you could wear trousers if you wanted to," the twins' father replied. "But only girls can wear skirts to school- or anywhere else, for that matter."

"But that's not fair," Luke whined as he reluctantly stepped into his sister's discarded trousers. "Why can't boys wear skirts if girls can wear trousers?"

"Because that's just the way it is," Paul replied, even though he knew the answer wouldn't satisfy his children's curiosity.

"But that's not fair," Luke repeated as his father silently cursed.

"Well- maybe it is, maybe it isn't," the increasingly exasperated man said. "I know it's a bit of fun when you're at home, but if you went to school like this, the other boys might think you're a girl, and they wouldn't like you if they did."

"What's wrong with being a girl?" Luke asked.

"Nothing if that's the way you were born," Paul replied. "But you were born a boy, and you need to remember that. Now come on downstairs, you don't want to be late on your first day, and I want some pictures to put up on our wall!" Reluctantly, Luke and Lucy followed their father down to the living room, where they posed for the photographs that would remain on their parents' wall even after they started university.

However, on that first day of school, all Luke could focus on was how unfair it was that he had to change out of what he saw as his skirt, and seeing all the other girls having fun at school only made him feel worse. Unbeknownst to him, though, his sister was feeling just as uneasy while wearing her skirt and was just as envious of the other boys as Luke was of the girls. And yet, Luke and Lucy knew better than to disobey their father, and continued to wear their school uniforms without protest.

At home, however, they continued what their parents saw as their 'game'. Whenever one of the twins got a new outfit, it would inevitably be the other twin who wore it first. Whenever Lucy got a new party dress, her parents would discover Luke modelling it for her in their bedroom. When Luke got new football boots, it was Lucy who first kicked a ball in them. When Lucy was signed up for ballet class, it was Luke who would first walk downstairs wearing the uniform of pink tights and a leotard.

The twins' parents had naturally assumed that the 'game' was a phase that the twins would eventually grow out of, but even at that early age, Luke and Lucy could sense that something wasn't right in their world. However, it would be many more years before they'd be able to identify what the problem was- and there would be many more obstacles put in their way beforehand.

On the twins' eighth birthday, Luke and Lucy's paternal grandparents had showered them with gifts. Luke had received two new videogames for his Wii, several Kung Fu Panda themed toys and a brand-new smart suit, complete with his first ever grown-up tie.

Lucy, meanwhile, had received several fancy hair clips and braids, an armful of High School Musical themed merchandise and a sparkly party dress with matching shoes.

What the twins' grandparents didn't know, however, was that it was Luke who was the fan of High School Musical, while Lucy was the one who had loved Kung Fu Panda.

After the family had eaten a special birthday dinner and Luke and Lucy had blown out the candles on their cake, they returned to the living room, where the elderly couple were soon eager to see the twins in their new outfits.

"Come on then, get upstairs and get yas selves changed," Derek- the twins' grandfather- urged. "We spent good money on those new clothes, we want ta get at least one photo before we go!"

"If you don't know how to tie your tie, your grandpa can show you when you come downstairs," Eileen- the twins' grandmother- said. "Same for your shoes, Lucy, I'll help you with those if you struggle with them."

"Well- okay," Lucy said as she grabbed her new dress and shoes, while Luke followed her upstairs carrying his suit. When they reached their bedroom, however, Luke instinctively reached for his sister's dress, while she took his suit out of his hands without even thinking.

"Should we do this while grandma and grandpa are here?" Luke asked as he slipped the new dress over his head, giggling at the feel of the soft fabric against his bare skin.

"Mum and dad don't mind us doing it," Lucy replied with a shrug as she fastened the buttons of the suit's white shirt. "Grandma and grandpa will just tell us to go upstairs and change like they do."

"Well- I suppose," Luke replied, before fastening the new sparkly shoes to his feet and giggling as he swished the dress around his legs.

As the twins returned to the living room, their grandparents had wide, excited smiles on their faces. However, those smiles immediately turned into frowns when they saw the outfits their grandchildren were wearing.

"Wha- is this- is this some kind of joke?" Derek spat, his eyes immediately filling with an anger that scared the eight-year olds.

"Ugh, it's just- it's just a silly little game they play," Paul said with a tired sigh as he regarded his children with a look of utter disappointment. "They think it's funny to wear each other's clothes, it- it's nothing."

"I'll get them changed into their proper clothes," Sarah- the twins' mother- said as she tried to usher her children toward the living room door, only to be stopped by an angry outburst from her father-in-law.

"You mean they do this all the time!?" Derek yelled, making the terrified children freeze on the spot. "And ya think it's just a game to turn my grandson into a poof?"

"Dad, it's just a phase," Paul said calmly in a vain attempt to soothe his father's anger. "They're just being kids-"

"Aye, but they're not bein' a boy and a girl, they're bein' a girl and a boy!" Derek snarled.

"Derek, please, you're making them upset," Eileen whispered nervously.

"Well they're making me upset!" Derek growled, before taking a deep breath and looking his son in the eye. "You need to start teachin' that boy ta be a man."

"Dad, he's literally just turned eight," Paul retorted.

"It's never too early!" Derek insisted. "How old were you the first time I took yous to see the Toon?"

"...Eight," Paul replied.

"An ‘how old were yas when I taught you to fish, or ride a bike?" Derek asked.

"Not much older than Luke," Paul conceded. "But I did silly stuff when I was a kid, didn't I? Remember that time I fell out of a tree and broke my wrist?"

"You din' fall out of a tree wearing a bloody dress though, did you?" Derek spat. "You need to step up son and stop this- THIS before ya turn that boy into a queer! Unless you're into that sort o' thing now, are ya?"

"...I'll talk to him after you've gone," Paul sighed heavily.

"And make sure Sarah talks to that girl of yours as well," Eileen said. "It's not healthy for a girl of her age to be playing with boys' things like that."

"Luke, Lucy, let's go upstairs and change," Sarah whispered, her voice quivering with emotion as she took her children's hands and led them up to their bedroom. "Luke, you go first, change into what you were wearing before." Still trembling with fear from his grandfather's anger, Luke silently nodded and entered the bedroom, sighing sadly as he removed the dress and pulled his plain jumper and trousers back on. As he laid the dress on his sister's bed, Luke couldn't help but run his fingers over the delicate fabric, desperate for one last feel of it against his skin.

As Luke was changing, Lucy's head was hung low as her mother took her into the bathroom, where she was sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

"Lucy..." Sarah said, before sighing and giving her daughter a hug as the 8-year-old girl broke down in a flood of tears. "It's okay, it's okay, don't worry..."

"Why do grandma and grandpa hate us?" Lucy asked, earning another sigh from her mother, who struggled to hold back her own tears.

"Oh- oh, they don't hate you, Lucy," Sarah replied. "They- they're just a bit old-fashioned, that's all. I know you think it's funny to wear your brother's clothes, but when your grandma was your age, any girl who wore trousers was seen as being weird, someone no one wanted to be friends with. And you like having friends, don't you?"

"But I have boys who are friends," Lucy pleaded.

"Aye, you do," Sarah conceded. "But as you get older, that'll change. I know you're a bright girl, and you sometimes have trouble fitting in with the other girls in your school, but the more you fit in, the more friends you'll make, and the happier you'll be. And believe me, you WILL want more friends who are girls than boys."

"So that no one thinks I'm weird?" Lucy asked despondently.

"That's right," Sarah said. "I know secondary school seems like a million years away, but it'll be here before you know it, and when it is, all of this will seem like it was a million years ago."

"Okay, I guess..." Lucy said in an uncertain voice.

"Hey, trust your mam, okay?" Sarah asked with a smile. "Now come on, I think your brother's almost done, do you want to try on your new dress?"

"I hate wearing dresses," Lucy pouted.

"You might feel that way now," Sarah replied, "but in a few years' time, I guarantee you'll prefer wearing skirts and dresses to trousers."

"But you wear trousers all the time," Lucy said, flinching as an angry look started to spread over her mother's face.

"And when you're grown-up, you can choose what to wear too," Sarah said. "But while you're a kid, you wear what your mam and dad say, okay?"

"Okay..." Lucy said in a sad, defeated voice, her feelings not eased by the extra hug she received from her mother.

"And I need you to promise not to wear your brother's clothes anymore, not even for a game, okay?" Sarah asked, smiling as Lucy sadly nodded.

"Okay," Lucy replied, her heart breaking with every step she took toward her bedroom. As much as she wished that she and her brother could continue their 'game', as their parents put it, she knew how much trouble they'd be in if they continued...

As Lucy was ushered into her bedroom to get changed, Luke was led by his father into his study, where the older man let out a long, tired sigh.

"Luke," Paul said, before letting out another sigh. "This game has got to stop. You know that, right?"

"But why does it have to?" Luke asked, making his father fidget uncomfortably.

"Well for one, you saw how upset it made your grandfather," Paul replied.

"But what if Lucy and I don't do it when they're around?" Luke asked.

"Well, I'll be honest with you son," Paul said, before taking a deep breath. "It's making me upset as well."

"But why?" Luke pleaded.

"Because you're pretending to be a girl, and you aren't a girl!" Paul replied, biting his lip as he saw tears start to form in his son's eyes. "Luke, you- you're not a stupid kid, far from it. Let me ask you this- what do you think would happen if you, or any other boy, went to school in a dress?"

"...The other boys would probably laugh at me," Luke mumbled.

"Right, and you don't like being laughed at, do you?" Paul asked, smiling as his son shook his head. "And I'll be honest with you, son- you'd be lucky if all they did was laugh at you. I- I should say, before telling you this, that I'm not proud of this, okay?" Paul smiled sadly as his son nodded in agreement. "Luke, you- you know what being gay is, right?"

"It- it's where a man is in love with another man, isn't it?" Luke asked.

"Right," Paul said. "Well, when I was at school, just a bit older than you, there was this one kid who was gay. And every day at school, there used to be these other kids who'd try to beat him up."

"Just because he was gay?" Luke asked.

"Because he was DIFFERENT," Paul clarified.

"But I'm not gay," Luke protested. "I don't even like boys, I just like wearing clothes..."

"Well- well that's even worse," Paul said. "Luke, if you tell any boy at school that you like wearing your sister's clothes, you WILL get beaten up. Do you understand?" With a look of pure terror in his eyes, Luke silently nodded, bringing a smile to his father's face that did nothing to ease the young boy's fear. "Good. Now I need you to promise me that you're never gonna wear your sister's clothes again, okay?"

"Okay," Luke mumbled.

"I didn't hear that?" Paul asked.

"I promise I won't wear Lucy's clothes again," Luke said, his cheeks flushing with shame as his father smiled.

"Good lad," Paul said as he started to lead his son back downstairs.

"Dad," Luke asked hesitantly.

"Yes?" Paul replied.

"Did- did you beat up the gay kid when you were in school?" Luke asked.

"Oh- oh come on, Luke, you know I'd never hit you," Paul sighed, crouching down and giving his son a gentle pat on the arm. "...But yes, I'm ashamed to say I did."

"Did you get in trouble for it?" Luke asked.

"Oh god, loads!" Paul chuckled.

"Did you get in any trouble with grandpa?" Luke asked, making his father pause and bite his lip.

"...No," Paul replied honestly. "Now come on, let's get downstairs, don't want to keep your grandma and grandpa waiting, do you?" Paul smiled as Luke shook his head, though deep down inside, the little boy's head was reeling from the onslaught of emotions.

Why should it make his grandparents angry if he happened to like wearing his sister's clothes? How could it hurt them when it made Luke so happy? Why should he be denied the thing he loved more than any toy, especially on his birthday? All of these questions flooded Luke's mind as he and his sister were led downstairs, where their grandparents' moods immediately perked up at the sight of them wearing their 'correct' clothes.

"Now, isn't that better?" Eileen asked. "Do you love your new dress, Lucy?" Withering under the glare of her parents' stares, Lucy meekly nodded as she fiddled with her uncomfortable dress.

"And as for you," Derek said, hesitating briefly as his grandson flinched, "I got one final gift for the three of us. Two weeks from now, I'm gonna take you ta see your first Toon game against Chelsea. Just me, you and your dad."

"What do you say, Luke?" Paul asked, remaining stoic as Luke stealthily gulped.

"Thank you, grandpa," Luke said, in his mind already mentally dreading the event.

Thirteen days later, Luke, his father and his grandfather were sat in the main stand of St James's Park, watching intently as their home team ultimately lost 2-0 to the London team. Despite the defeat, Luke's father and grandfather remained in high spirits as they left the ground, and Luke couldn't help but notice that despite the loss leaving the team in danger of relegation, his grandfather was considerably less upset than he was on his birthday two weeks earlier.

"Ah, never mind, we'll win next time," Paul said confidently as the family made their way through the stadium's car park. "Chelsea was a bit of an ask for Big Al's first match back in charge."

"Aye, but that doesn't mean we just give up," Derek sighed. "Tha team need ta fight like their lives depend on it. They barely looked like they were moving out there. What d'you think, Luke?"

"Hmm?" Luke asked, having not paid attention to the conversation.

"If ya love something, ya got to be prepared to fight for it, right?" Derek asked his grandson, who meekly nodded in response. "Ugh, Luke... Look, I- I'm sorry if I scared yas on your birthday, okay?"

"...Okay," Luke said, confused by his grandfather's sudden contrition.

"Ya just- I dunno," Derek sighed, exchanging a glance with his son before speaking again. "Ya just can't go around 'playing' like ya did on your birthday, okay? I know ya might just think it's a bit of fun, but believe me when I say that if anyone other than your family finds out, you're ganna be in a lot of trouble, okay?"

"I know," Luke mumbled. "Dad already told me."

"Good," Derek said, shooting his son a brief proud smile. "So just listen to ya dad, okay? When you’re his age you'll probably look back on all this and cringe with embarrassment. Heh, if I'm still alive then, anyway!"

"Ah, you'll outlive us all, dad," Paul chuckled as the family climbed into his car and began the short drive back home.

While Luke was trying his hardest to enjoy his day out at the football, Lucy, her mother and her paternal grandmother were exploring the many shops of the vast Metrocentre- more specifically, the clothing shops. Lucy groaned internally as her mother led her into yet another store, as she immediately knew what would be coming next.

"Now, this one looks beautiful!" Eileen said with a proud grin as she picked out a silver-coloured party dress with a flared, multi-layered skirt- a dress that just so happened to be in Lucy's exact size.

"Do you want to go and try it on, Lucy?" The girl's mother asked with an enthusiastic smile that Lucy felt obliged to at least try to emulate.

"Well- okay..." Lucy said, earning a frown from her mother.

"I know you're tired," Sarah said sternly. "But we're only going to go to a couple more shops, then you can go home and show off your new dresses to the boys. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"...Yes, mam," Lucy said, while internally, she was screaming at the prospect of spending yet more time trying on what she considered to be silly-looking, impractical dresses. However, she knew that she had to play along with her mother and her grandmother, had to pretend to be interested in the clothes and shoes they were buying for her, when all she really wanted was to be able to go to the football match with her brother and her father.

A few minutes later, Lucy stepped out of the changing room clad in her new dress, which she obligingly twirled for her relatives.

"Beautiful!" Eileen said with a proud smile as Lucy tried her hardest to look enthusiastic.

"Do you want to get this one, Lucy?" Sarah asked. Internally, Lucy was screaming 'no' at the top of her lungs, but she knew that the quicker her mother ran out of money, the quicker she'd get to go home...

"Yes please!" Lucy said, forcing a smile on her face as she did another twirl.

"Well we'll put that on the 'maybe' pile," Sarah said as she produced another dress for the increasingly frustrated girl to try on. "Ooh, and we need to stop at the dancewear store on the way home too, you need a new leotard for ballet!" Lucy kept her forced smile in place as she took the new dress from her mother and returned to the changing room, praying desperately for the afternoon to end...

The twins returned back home at almost exactly the same time, and while Lucy reluctantly modelled her new dresses for her father and her grandfather, Luke tried his hardest to sound enthusiastic as he recounted his day out at the football to his mother and grandmother.

Eventually, though, the time came for the elderly couple to leave, and while their parents sat down to watch television, Luke and Lucy headed up to their bedroom, where the latter wasted no time in taking off her new dress.

"I hate this dress," Lucy moaned as she changed back into her preferred jumper and jeans. "I wish I could've gone to the football with you."

"I hated the football," Luke pouted. "It was just a load of old men yelling all the time." Lucy smiled sympathetically at her twin, and an idea quickly formed in her mind, something she knew would cheer Luke up.

"Do- do you want to wear this?" Lucy asked as she handed her brother her new dress.

"I- no, no thanks," Luke said, backing away from the dress in fear.

"Wh- what's wrong?" Lucy asked. "It's just a dress, it's not going to hurt you, and it felt wrong, you know, me wearing this before you?"

"I said no thanks!" Luke snapped.

"Oh- Luke, come on, please..." Lucy said, biting her lip as tears started to form in her eyes. "You know you love wearing my dresses..."

"Well I don't anymore!" Luke spat, turning his back so his sister couldn't see the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Why are you saying this?" Lucy asked. "Mam and dad don't have to know about it if we don't tell them, right?"

"I said no!" Luke snarled, before grimacing as he felt his hands shake and his stomach tighten. Unwilling to listen to anything else his sister had to say, Luke ran out of his room and into the bathroom, where he sat down on the floor, quietly weeping.

Two months later, Luke forced a smile on his face as he helped his father carry his belongings into what used to be Paul's study, but was to become Luke's very own bedroom.

"You're sure you're sure about this?" Paul asked his son as he turned Luke's bed on its side and began manoeuvring it into the new room. "Because I don't mind giving up my study, it's only right that you have your own bedroom, but if you change your mind-"

"I won't," Luke said firmly. "I want to have my own bedroom, away from Lucy."

"Well- that IS your choice," Paul conceded. "I just wish I knew why you two have barely talked since your birthday." The young father sighed as his son could only reply with a shrug. "Well- okay. Where d'you want your bed, by the window or against the back wall?" Paul let out another frustrated sigh as Luke again replied with a shrug. "Okay, back wall it is." Paul manoeuvred the bed into position, and once the mattress and sheets had been replaced, he stood back with a proud smile on his face, before giving his son a firm pat on his shoulder.

"Well?" Paul asked. "What d'you think?" Luke bit his lip before replying as he surveyed his new bedroom.

The room was everything the average 8-year-old boy could dream of. The walls were all plastered with posters of Star Wars characters or football players (all wearing the black and white of Newcastle United, naturally). The shelves were filled with action figures and books about football and action and adventure novels. Luke's father had even removed his Wii from the living room and hooked it up to a spare television in the room. Luke desperately wanted to love his new room... But secretly, he hated every inch of it.

He hated that he, from his perspective, had been forced to abandon his sister. He hated that he would no longer be able to talk to her at night and no longer be able to play their own secret games- particularly the one game that had never left his mind over the previous two months.

When Lucy had offered him the dress, Luke had been desperate to take it and wear it, even if only for a few minutes. he wanted to feel the soft fabric swishing around his legs with every step. But he knew he couldn't. He knew that if he did wear the dress, his father would find out, then his grandfather would find out, and then all of his worst fears would come true. So Luke threw the dress back in his sister's face, and had hated himself for it every second since. His new room would only be a constant reminder of how he'd rejected his sister- though from Luke's perspective, the alternative would have been much, much worse. And yet, he couldn't shake the dress from his mind- or the pleated skirts and white socks his sister and the other girls at his school wore, or the leotards and tights that his sister wore to her dance class...

Lucy bit her lip to hold back tears as she watched her brother settle into his new room. When Luke had rejected her offer to wear her dress, Lucy's young heart had shattered, and not just because she felt like she'd lost her brother, but because she's lost the only person who could understand how she felt. Lucy didn't fully understand why, but every time she wore a dress, or her school skirt, or her dance uniform, she felt uncomfortable, as though the clothes weren't meant for her, or, more likely, she wasn't meant for them.

Lucy had complained to her mother several times about having to wear clothes she hated, only to be told every time that she was just 'going through a phase' or that she'd 'grow to like it'. Her father was even more dismissive- even when she expressed interest in spending time with him, like watching football, she was rebuffed, told 'it's not something girls would like' as though she was unable to make that decision for herself. The only person who seemingly understood Lucy was her brother- everything she hated, he loved, and vice versa, and that had enabled them to bond in a way few siblings, even twins ever do. But suddenly, out of nowhere, Luke had broken their bond, leaving Lucy feeling more alone than she had ever been before.

"H- hi," Lucy said as she walked into her brother's new room, where Luke and their father were busy putting the finishing touches to the room. "Can I do anything in here?"

"Ah- no, Lucy, think we're almost done!" Paul said with a chuckle. "Do you want a hand rearranging things in your room?"

"No, I'm happy with things where they are," Lucy replied.

"But you've got all that empty space now, where Luke's bed used to be," Paul retorted. "We can put a new wardrobe or a chest of drawers in there, or maybe even a make-up table for when you get older?" Lucy tried her hardest, but couldn't prevent herself from letting out a shiver at the prospect.

"I guess," Lucy mumbled, shrugging her shoulders. "Can- can I have sleepovers?"

"Well- sure, I guess," Paul replied. "I mean, I personally think you're a little young for them, but you're a smart kid, so are your friends, we can get a couple of sleeping bags in your room, and if your friends' parents are okay with it, we-"

"No, I mean-" Lucy interrupted. "Can- can I have sleepovers in here? With Luke?"

"...Well, umm, it- it's not appropriate for a boy and a girl to have a sleepover," Paul replied. "I mean, if you had a sleepover with your friends, would you want Luke barging in?" More than anything, Lucy thought to herself.

"...No," Lucy mumbled.

"Tell you what," Paul said, momentarily getting his daughter's- and, unbeknownst to Paul or Lucy his son's- hopes up, before cruelly dashing them moments afterward. "I'll talk to your mother about it, and we'll see if you can have any sleepovers."

"Really?" Lucy asked.

"With your friends only," Paul said, barely noticing as Lucy's face fell. "Girl friends only."

"Okay," Lucy mumbled, before sighing as she left the room and headed back to her bedroom, which felt emptier than ever...

Over the next few years, Luke and Lucy gradually drifted further apart. They stopped hanging out together at primary school, with Luke playing football with the other boys while Lucy forced herself to hang out with the other girls in her class. At home, they spent most of their free time in their own individual bedrooms, Luke playing on his Wii while Lucy preferred to read in her bedroom- when she wasn't having the sleepovers she'd 'asked' for. The only time the twins spoke to each other was first thing in the morning, or during mealtimes. Even during the school holidays, they preferred to stay out of each other's way- and while neither twin would admit it, they both despised the situation. Both twins wanted nothing more than to play with each other as they had done when they were younger, to swap toys, games and especially clothes- but they knew that if they did that they would be risking the wrath of their parents and grandparents, which too high a price for the 8 year old kids to pay.

The twins' 9th, 10th and 11th birthdays passed almost identically to their 8th, but with one significant difference. When the twins' grandparents bought their grandson a new pair of jeans, it was their grandson who modelled it for them. When they bought their granddaughter a dress for the summer, it was their granddaughter who modelled it for them. Luke accompanied his father and grandfather to more and more matches at St. James's Park and forced himself to take an interest in 'his club', while Lucy went on more and more shopping trips with her mother and grandmother, including the one shopping trip that made her the most anxious- the shopping trip to buy her uniform for her first day of secondary school.

"Come on then, let's have a look at the both of yous!" Eileen said to her grandchildren as they descended the stairs in their new uniform (Luke's having been bought online weeks before). The 11 year old twins forced smiles on their faces as they entered the living room, Luke dressed in his smart white shirt, school tie, grey trousers and grey blazer, while Lucy wore the same tie and blazer (albeit with her buttons on the opposite side), a soft white blouse, a knee-length grey skirt and opaque grey tights.

"Ah, don't ya two look all grown-up?" Derek said with a proud chuckle as he took picture after picture of the twins with his digital camera. "Hah, I remember ya first day at primary school like it were yesterday!" Unbeknownst to each other, Luke and Lucy both remembered that day for a completely different reason- on that first day, they'd initially dressed in each other's uniform. Luke and Lucy deliberately avoided each other's gaze as, also unbeknownst to each other, they both felt that exact same urge once again.

"Are you looking forward to your first day at your new school?" Eileen asked the two children.

"I guess," Lucy replied with a shrug.

"Huh, I'd have thought you'd be a bit more excited by it?" Eileen said, confused by her granddaughter's almost emotionless response.

"They're just a bit nervous, that's all," Sarah said.

"Oh aye, that's understandable," Derek chuckled. "I remember ya dad's first day at big school like that was yesterday too!"

"Dad..." Paul said, playfully rolling his eyes as the elderly man continued.

"It took him four goes ta tie his tie properly!" Derek joked as his grandchildren forced smiles on their faces. "Thought he was gonna hang himself at one point with it!"

"Come on, dad..." Paul chuckled, while Luke and Lucy tried their best to enjoy the situation and not think about how much they envied each other...

Despite their nerves, the twins' transition from primary to secondary school went smoothly, thanks mostly to them being able to hang out with the same friends they hung out with at primary school- though with the twins also being in separate classes for each subject, it meant that they drifted even further and further apart, barely even speaking to each other at mealtimes anymore- and certainly never at lunchtime at school, for fear of being teased by their friends.

Six months passed, and soon it was time once again for the twins' birthdays. Unlike in previous years, when the twins' presents for each other had been bought by their parents and had had their names written on the label, for their twelfth birthday, Luke and Lucy had been encouraged to pick out their own gifts to give to each other. Each twin had spent a long afternoon at the Metrocentre- Luke with his father, Lucy with her mother- and eventually, the big day came.

The twins returned from school on their twelfth birthday with eager smiles on their faces. Firstly, because it was a Friday, meaning they had their whole weekend to enjoy themselves, but secondly, because each was eager to see what they had bought the other. Each twin had secretly hoped that the other had got them something 'special', something they would truly enjoy- however, each twin was braced for disappointment, just like on their previous three birthdays.

"Come on then, you two," Paul said as he ushered the two excited twelve-year olds out of his car and back into the house. "You've had a long day at school, think you've earned yourself these presents!" Luke and Lucy both giggled in excitement as they entered the living room, where their mother was waiting with two large piles of presents- one pile wrapped mostly in dark blue paper, the other wrapped in glittery pink and silver paper. Just as they'd done for the previous three years, the twins' hearts sank as they quickly realised whose pile was whose.

"You can open one gift before you get changed," Sarah said, even though neither twin needed much incentive to get changed out of their hated uniforms. "Lucy, which gift do you want to open first?"

"I- I want to open Luke's first, if that's okay?" The twelve-year-old girl replied, earning an awkward stare from her brother.

"Of course it is!" Sarah replied with a chuckle as she dug around in the pile for the boy's present. "Luke, would you like to open your sister's present first too?"

"Umm, sure, okay!" Luke nervously replied as he was handed the small gift from his pile. The twins simultaneously tore off the wrapping paper, and each feigned delight at the gifts they received- even as inside, their hearts sank.

"Oh, cool, thanks Luke!" Lucy said with a forced smile as she studied the purple scrunchie in her hand.

"You should have seen the look on his face when he bought that!" Paul teased his son, who rolled his eyes in response. "Thought he was gonna die of embarrassment right there in the shop!"

"Dad..." Luke moaned as his father chuckled, not wanting to correct him over one thing- Luke's main emotion hadn't been embarrassment, but envy. Envy that Lucy would be able to wear the scrunchie to school, to her dance class- or even simply that she had hair long enough to tie back.

"So come on then, what did your sister get you?" Paul asked his son, who let out an involuntary sigh.

"...Football stickers," Luke said, showing his father the many packs that Lucy had wrapped up for him.

"Aye, well that's a good enough present," Paul said. "Might have enough to finish your album there, or at the very least, finish the Toon- which is all that really matters, ain't it?"

"Yeah," Luke chuckled as he placed the stickers in his blazer pocket, along with the multiple other swaps that already lived there.

"Go on then, get changed," Sarah ordered her children. "I've got your special birthday dinner in the oven so don't take too long up there!"

"Before you go," Paul said, "isn't there something you two need to say to each other?" Luke and Lucy both rolled their eyes, before turning to face each other- neither twin picking up on the look of anger and disappointment in the other's eyes.

"Thank you, Lucy," Luke said politely.

"Thanks, Luke," Lucy mumbled, before smiling as she and her brother were dismissed.

Once she was in her room, it took Lucy no time at all to discard her uniform in favour of her favourite jumper and jeans, though as she let her shoulder-length hair hang free, she remembered the new scrunchie sitting on her make-up table and let out a long, angry sigh.

How could Luke have been so insensitive as to think she would've wanted a gift that reminded her of just how feminine she was? Had he completely forgotten everything that Lucy had told him over the first eight years of their life? Or was he deliberately trying to wind her up, trying to torment her with the fact that the older she got, the more feminine she'd get, and there was nothing she could do about it?

As she stared at the scrunchie, Lucy felt her rage grow more and more, until it eventually hit boiling point...

As he entered his bedroom, Luke kicked off his shoes, took off his blazer and sighed as his new stickers fell out of his pocket. Why on Earth did Lucy think that he'd want or even like a gift like that? She surely knew that he didn't like football and only went to matches because his father and grandfather made him. She must've known how much he hated playing football at school, whether during PE lessons or at lunch. And she must've known how much it reminded him that he was undoubtedly a boy, and that's all he ever would be...

Luke opened the door to his bedroom, determined to confront his sister over the gift, only to find the girl herself stood at his door, a look of pure anger on her face.

"What the hell was that present meant to-" The twins said simultaneously, only to pause in confusion mid-sentence.

"What?" Luke and Lucy simultaneously asked, only to sigh and shake their heads.

"You know what, I'll go first," Lucy snarled.

"I'm the oldest, I should go first," Luke protested.

"Well I'm going first anyway," Lucy spat. "Why did you think I'd want a bloody scrunchie? D'you think I'd, what, love wearing it while I'm prancing around in a stupid leotard pretending to be a ballerina?"

"Well- well why did you get me football stickers?" Luke growled. "Do you think I actually enjoy going to school and swapping them with all the stupid arsehole boys there?"

"I don't see why not," Lucy snorted. "It's all you've done the last four years."

"And all you've done is girly shit," Luke spat. "Make-up, dresses, dancing?"

"And- and I've hated every bit of it," Lucy said, lowering her voice so that her parents couldn't hear. "Mum and grandma don't listen, they don't even care, but- but I hate- hate all of this." Lucy tried her hardest not to cry as she gestured to her uniform and her hair, but try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks.

"...I hate football too," Luke mumbled. "Dad and granddad keep telling me I should love it, that I'll grow to love it, and I try to, I really try, but- but I- I'd much rather go to your dance class instead."

"What, as- as one of the boy dancers there?" Lucy asked.

"N- no," Luke whispered. "I'd want to go wearing what you wear, as- as one of the girl dancers."

"Oh- ugh, Luke..." Lucy sighed.

"Please- please tell me you won't tell dad?" Luke asked in a scared, feeble voice.

"No, of course I won't!" Lucy said. "I- I'd really, you know, I- I wish I could join the school football team. But not, you know, the girls' team, I- I really wish I was a boy."

"Like- like you did years ago?" Luke asked.

"Exactly like that," Lucy replied. "I know, mum and dad keep saying it's a phase, that I'll grow out of it, but- but I just haven't. If anything, it's even worse now than it was all that time ago. Some days, it- it's all I can think about..."

"...Me too," Luke mumbled, before sighing. "But if we ever told mum or dad-"

"So- so we don't tell them," Lucy shrugged, before nervously biting her lip. "Do- do you want to, you know... Wear my skirt?"

"I- what?" Luke asked.

"My school skirt, the one I've got on now," Lucy said. "Do you want to wear it now, just for a bit?"

"I-" Luke said, before tears started to form in his eyes.

"Oh- oh god, Luke..." Lucy moaned, taking her brother by the hand and sitting down next to him on his bed. "I- I'm sorry if I-"

"No, it's okay," Luke moaned. "And yes, literally all I can think about is wearing your skirt, but if mum or dad find-"

"They won't," Lucy insisted. "They just- we won't tell them. Tell you what, whenever I put any of my clothes in the washing, I'll let you wear them first. Would you like that?"

"Ugh, totally," Luke sighed as he exchanged a smile with his sister, the first time both twins had genuinely smiled for a very long time. "And if you want to wear any of my clothes, well, that's okay too."

"I will, definitely," Lucy replied. "I mean, who cares what grandma and grandpa think, anyway?"

"Heh, I guess..." Luke chuckled. "So- so can I wear your skirt now? 'Cause, you know, it's Friday and it's gonna be washed tomorrow?"

"Luke! Lucy!" The twins' father's voice bellowed from downstairs. "What's taking so long? Are you arguing again?"

"...Maybe later," Lucy said with a grin that was matched by her brother. "We're coming, dad..."

That evening, before the twins went to bed, Luke snuck into his sister's room, where she was waiting with the skirt she'd worn to school that week. Even though he only wore the skirt for a few minutes, Luke felt the previous four years’ worth of anger melt away as the loose garment swished about his knees.

The twins repeated the same ritual the following Friday evening, and every Friday evening during their first year of school. To Luke and Lucy, the Friday evenings were the most special time of the week, not just because of the clothes, but because they were once again the best friends they were during childhood.

However, as they would soon discover, nothing lasts forever...

During the summer of 2013, before the twins' second year of secondary school, their parents had bought them each a new school uniform- and as before, Paul had bought Luke's uniform online, while Lucy had to endure a shopping trip with her mother and grandmother.

As she'd done the previous year, Lucy had begged her mother to buy her a pair of trousers for school, but yet again, she had been turned down, her mother and grandmother both stating that there was no point in wasting money when she had a perfectly good skirt that she could wear instead and several pairs of tights for when the weather was colder. Despite her inevitable stress at having to wear the garment when school started in September, Lucy knew better than to argue that they could always buy the trousers instead of the skirt or the tights.

On their first day of Year 8, the twins headed to school dressed in their 'gender-appropriate' uniforms and picked up from where they had left off at the end of year 7. Lucy spent her break and lunch times gossiping with her girl friends while Luke played football with his boy friends. When the twins arrived back home, they headed up to their rooms to change into their casual clothes- but not before Luke had spent several minutes wearing Lucy's skirt while she wore his school trousers.

This ritual continued every day throughout the first few weeks of school, with Fridays being an extra special day for the twins as they didn't just exchange their skirt and trousers, but their whole uniform too- Luke wore Lucy's blouse, tights and shoes, while Lucy wore Luke's stiff white shirt and also his PE kit of shorts and a (usually dirty) blue rugby shirt.

Friday nights were also special for Luke in particular, as it was the night of Lucy's last dance class of the week, and every Friday; before she put her uniform in the wash, Lucy allowed Luke to dance in the pink tights and powder blue leotard she had been wearing just minutes earlier.

A few weeks before their thirteenth birthday, however, things began to change forever for the twins.

"Okay," Lucy said with a smug grin as Luke balanced on one leg, with the other held out to his side. "Now how about a back catch?"

"Watch THIS," Luke said, stretching his left leg behind him and catching his ankle with his left hand, grinning as Lucy enthusiastically applauded.

"That's better than I can do!" The twelve-year-old girl giggled. "Maybe you should go in my place after all?"

"Nah, doubt we'd get away with it," Luke said with a sad sigh. "Maybe when we were younger..."

"Also, you might be TOO good at it and Mrs. Christopher might cast you in a recital!" Lucy teased, making her brother giggle appreciatively.

"I wasn't going to be the one to say it," Luke said, smiling smugly as he performed a ballerina's curtsey. "Ahh... I really wish I could, though. Like, even if I joined the boys' class, that'd be something, but- ugh. Can you imagine the spaz attack dad would have about that?"

"Aye, I can," Lucy snorted. "I asked dad if he could get me a ticket for the Crystal Palace match on our birthday, like, to go with you and granddad, he looked at me like I'd just pissed myself. And he KNOWS I'm following the Toon's season too."

"Well- he can just keep being a caveman then, see if we care," Luke said, going to strip off his leotard before smirking as an idea popped into his head. "Hey Lucy, watch this..."

"But that's the point, I DO care," Lucy snorted. "I don't want to go through my life being some sort of bloody dancing doll! I want to do things I want to do, not what I'm told to! Do you get me?"

"Aye, I do," Luke said. "But, like, I AM doing what I want to, you know?" Lucy smiled as Luke gestured to the skin-tight one-piece garment that was stretched over his body.

"Well- I guess," Lucy sighed. "Doesn't get me any closer to playing football though, does it?"

"So- so we'll go to the park one day, just you and me, kick a ball around a bit," Luke offered. "I mean, we're thirteen in a few weeks, mam and dad are bound to give us a bit more freedom, right?"

"Well- ugh, I hope so," Lucy sighed. "I- wait, did you want to show me something?" Lucy perked up as her brother nodded and moved to the centre of the room, laying flat on his back on the floor before arching his back upwards, making a perfect 'U' shape.

"Well?" Luke asked.

"Better than I can do!" Lucy replied, giggling as Luke shuffled on the floor in his upside-down position. Both twins immediately froze in terror a few seconds later, though, when a loud 'popping' sound came from Luke's direction, and the young boy felt a cool breeze pass over the now-bare gusset of his tights.

"...Ohhhh shit," Luke said as he laid back down and fiddled with the now-separate halves of the leotard's gusset, before hastily pulling the ruined garment over his head.

"Oh- oh no no no..." Lucy said, her face contorting into a look of horror, before a smile started to spread across her face. "...Actually, you know what? You may have just done me a MASSIVE favour..."

"Umm, how, exactly?" Luke asked, frowning in confusion as his sister snatched the leotard from him before changing back into her jumper and skinny girls' jeans. Confused, Luke went to follow his sister, only for Lucy to stop him and gesture at his legs- a reminder that he was still wearing her pink dance tights. After making sure that the coast was clear, Luke headed to his bedroom to change into his own jeans and t-shirt before heading downstairs, where his sister was busy trying to explain to their parents her version of what had happened.

"...Just split, just like that," Lucy said. "Thank god it didn't split in class!"

"Well- aye, that's true!" The twins' mother chuckled. "It's no big deal, you were outgrowing it a bit anyway. We'll go out tomorrow and get you a new one, okay?"

"Well..." Lucy said, biting her lip and fidgeting awkwardly. "I'm kinda, you know... Not really liking ballet anymore?"

"What?" Sarah asked, a look of sheer disappointment coming over her face. "But you're so good at it..."

"I'm hardly the best in the class," Lucy shrugged. "Mrs. Christopher says I'm gonna have wait longer for pointe shoes as well, and 'cause they cost so much, it'll save you some money, like?"

"We don't mind spending money on you doing things you love," Sarah said. "What will you do with your time if you stop going to ballet?"

"Well- I can think of something to do," Lucy replied. "I can join a sports team at school, maybe?"

"Do you like any sports?" Sarah asked.

"I like football," Lucy replied with a shrug.

"But you've never played it before," Sarah retorted. "How do you know you'll be any good at it?"

"Well, I-" Lucy stammered, before frowning as her mother smiled.

"Tell you what," Sarah said, "you have a think about it, and talk to me again when you know what you really want to do." Which means 'think about it until you change your mind', Lucy angrily thought to herself.

"Okay," Lucy mumbled, handing her mother the ruined dancewear before trudging back upstairs, passing her brother on the way.

Luke looked on sympathetically as Lucy took one of the pillows from her bed and pressed it against the wall, before banging her head into it over and over. It was a ritual that Lucy had developed shortly after the twins' last birthday, and Luke had observed that it had become more and more frequent as the weeks had gone on.

"Hey," Luke said, placing his hand on his sister's back in an attempt to calm her down. "It'll be okay. Just keep sucking at ballet and eventually you'll just get kicked out, right?"

"Oh aye, mum'll LOVE that," Lucy snorted sarcastically.

"Well- well I can always keep breaking your leotards, then?" Luke offered, smiling as his joke got a smirk out of his sister.

"Aye, well that's gonna be the thing, isn't it?" Lucy moaned as she threw her pillow back onto her bed. "Come on, stand next to me."

"Umm, why?" Luke asked as he stood face to face with his sister.

"'Cause this is the problem," Lucy sighed. "That leotard was already small on me. The next one's hardly gonna be baggy- it's a leotard, for god's sake, it's got to be skintight. And you're already 2 inches taller than I am."

"...So the new one probably won't even fit me," Luke realised, sighing heavily as his sister nodded. "And things are only gonna get worse."

"Aye," Lucy sighed sadly.

"Well, we- we can just make the most of it while we can, can't we?" Luke shrugged as he sat back down on his sister's bed. "And I mean, you can still wear my clothes when you want to, can't you?"

"Well- I guess," Lucy mumbled, before groaning loudly and collapsing back down on her bed. "Ugh, this would be so much easier if we'd been born the right way round, you know?"

"What, me as a girl and you as a boy?" Luke asked.

"Exactly," Lucy replied, before letting out a long, pained sigh.

"Can't argue with THAT," Luke said. "But, you know, you can still talk to me about anything, you- you know? Any time you need to, right?"

"Thanks," Lucy said with a warm, genuine grin. "Don't be too pissed off when I get you football stickers again for your birthday, okay?"

"As long as you're okay with chocolate?" Luke asked.

"Nah, chocolate is ALWAYS welcome," Lucy replied, her grin widening as her brother gave her a gentle hug before leaving her alone in her room.

The twins' thirteenth birthday passed without incident a few weeks later. Their grandparents had taken them out on their usual trips to the MetroCentre (for Lucy) and St James' Park (for Luke), and as usual, neither twin particularly enjoyed the trip. Much to their relief, though, their grandparents had simply chalked that up to being typical moody teenagers, and had promised that there wouldn't be any further birthday trips out.

As the twins got older, though, their bodies began to change more and more. By the end of their second year of secondary school, Luke stood almost three inches taller than his sister, and while he was far from overweight, he had a noticeably wider chest and waist as well. However, it was smaller, less noticeable changes that were causing the twins the greatest stress.

"Okay," Paul said, trying to stop himself from grinning with pride as he stood next to his son in the bathroom. "You've got the cream on, next step, you take your razor and place it against your skin, just like this." Paul held his safety razor underneath his foam-covered chin, the blades pointing toward his chin. Slowly, and with trembling hands, Luke emulated his father, earning a playful sigh and an eye roll from the older man. "There's no need to be so nervous! If you get cut, you get cut, but you're not going to do yourself any permanent injury! But as this IS your first time, you're better off taking it slow. So just watch what I'm doing, and follow along. Take the razor and gently pull it across your face just like this. Be gentle- this isn't a race." Luke nodded as he gently pulled the razor across his face, following his father's instructions to the letter.

Minutes later, Luke's face was clean of both shaving cream and the light layer of fuzz he'd been growing over the previous few weeks. While Luke was happy to once again have a smooth face, he was unnerved by the wide grin on his father's face- and the knowledge that in the future, he'd have to repeat the ritual every day of his life.

"Well?" Paul asked, barely containing his glee. "What d'you think?"

"It's okay, I guess," Luke replied with a shrug that made his father chuckle and roll his eyes.

"Try to get enthusiasm out of a teenager," Paul chuckled as he reached inside the medicine cabinet for a small bottle of translucent liquid. "Now, d'you know what this is?"

"Umm... Aftershave?" Luke replied.

"Spot on!" Paul said, his proud grin widening. "Now this isn't cheap, so you don't wear it after every time you shave, only on special occasions. But I think today definitely qualifies as a special occasion, don't you?"

"I-" Luke began.

"Let me guess- 'you guess'," Paul interrupted, before chuckling again as his son shrugged. "That's okay. I know this whole puberty thing can seem scary to you at times, but trust me, once you're through the other end, you'll be laughing. And shaving IS a skill you're gonna need." Luke flinched as his father dropped some of the aftershave onto his hands and rubbed it into his cheeks, making the teenaged boy flinch as it stung his still-raw skin. "Aye, it stings a bit at first, but you'll get used to it." 'I doubt it', Luke thought to himself as he breathed in the scent of the aftershave- an unmistakably male scent.

"Thanks, dad," Luke mumbled as he pulled his t-shirt back on.

"Hey, it was a special day for me too!" Paul chuckled. "Every dad looks forward to the day when he teaches his son to shave. I still remember when my dad taught me, heh. And one day, you'll get to teach your son too!" Luke suppressed a shiver at the thought before a question popped into his head.

"But- but what if I don't have any sons?" Luke asked.

"What, if you only have daughters?" Paul replied, his son detecting a subtle sneer in his voice. "Well, I- I suppose you'll have special days with them too." 'Like you have with Lucy?' Luke thought to himself as he was ushered out of the bathroom.

"I guess," Luke shrugged.

"Say that one more time and it'll officially be your catchphrase!" Paul teased. "Want to go downstairs and show your mum?"

"I- umm, sure," Luke said, forcing a smile on his face as he headed downstairs, where he tried not to fidget as his mother fussed over him and his smooth face. Once the novelty of the first shave had worn off, Luke headed back upstairs, though as he always did when he was stressed, he didn't head into his bedroom, but rather his sister's.

"Hey Lucy," Luke said as he let himself into the room without knocking, frowning as Lucy snorted angrily.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Lucy asked as she rolled over on her bed and stared witheringly at her brother.

"When have I ever needed to knock?" Luke retorted.

"Ugh- fine, have a seat somewhere," Lucy sighed as she grabbed her iPad. "What do you want, anyway? And what's that smell? Smells like that shit aftershave dad wears sometimes..."

"Aye, that's 'cause it is," Luke sighed.

"Why would you be wearing dad's after-" Lucy asked, before grimacing as she realised the answer. "Ah. Right."

"Yeah," Luke said. "'Right'."

"Well- all I can say is that it could be worse," Lucy moaned.

"What, worse than growing hair on your face and slashing it with a razor every day?" Luke snorted. "Got any, you know, examples of what's worse than that?"

"I have, actually," Lucy responded angrily. "Top drawer of my nightstand." Luke frowned as he moved over to the drawer and opened it, finding within it Lucy's hairbrush, her watch, her sunglasses... And a nearly empty box of tampons.

"...Oh," Luke said, backing away from the sanitary product like it was a coiled snake. "How- how long?"

"Just a couple of months," Lucy sighed. "I told mum, she said- she actually said 'let's keep it a secret from your father and your brother'."

"What?" Luke snorted. "How is that gonna help you or anyone else?"

"Because mum and dad both live in this weird 'bubble' where men and women live in completely separate universes," Lucy scoffed. "Like, you even knowing about periods will make you, I dunno, melt or something."

"Probably," Luke shrugged.

"Though for the record, I HAVE learned to shave," Lucy said, rolling up the leg of her jeans to reveal the smooth, hairless leg underneath- a stark contrast to the wispy hairs covering Luke's own legs. "Armpits as well. Mum's promised to take me to a proper salon for my next birthday to get my eyebrows shaped too."

"Lucky you," Luke snorted.

"And yes, I know you'd kill to be able to do any of this," Lucy scoffed. "Spare a thought for someone who doesn't have a choice, okay?"

"Well- I don't envy ALL of it," Luke sighed as he closed the nightstand drawer. "I guess shaving isn't THAT big a deal..."

"Aye, well, it'd be nice to pick and choose which bits of being a boy or a girl you get to put up with," Lucy sighed.

"...But, you know, you kinda can," Luke said. "I mean, not right now, but when we're older, you know?"

"Umm... What?" Lucy snorted. "How, exactly?"

"...Follow me," Luke said, leading his sister into his bedroom, where he opened his wardrobe and pulled out a box filled with magazine and newspaper clippings. "Mum and dad don't know about this, so please, PLEASE don't tell them, okay?"

"Aye, you know I won't," Lucy reassured her brother. "What is all this about?"

"Have you heard of the Angels?" Luke asked.

"What, that shit reality show that was on ITV2?" Lucy asked, earning a frown from her brother.

"It's not 'shit'," Luke protested. "It's actually pretty good if you take the time to watch it, they're not at each other's throats the whole time, they're, you know, friends?"

"Whatever you say," Lucy snorted. "What about the show, anyway?"

"You know that one of the women on the show used to be a man, right?" Luke asked, earning a look of confusion from his sister.

"Wh- really?" Lucy asked as she studied the clippings. "Which one?"

"Can't tell, can you?" Luke asked with a smug grin that widened as his sister rolled her eyes. "Jamie, the second one from the right on that photo."

"She's gorgeous," Lucy mused. "And she really used to be a man?"

"Until she was nineteen," Luke replied. "She's taking hormone pills, had breast implants, lots of stuff like that."

"Aye, well- good for her," Lucy scoffed.

"Oh- I- I thought this would help?" Luke said, upset by his sister's callous dismissal.

"Umm, how?" Lucy asked. "You show me a girl who used to be a guy. It's not like I've never seen one before."

"...So, umm, you- you've looked into this already?" Luke asked.

"If by 'this' you mean 'transgender things', then, well, yeah," Lucy confessed. "I just, you know, looked it up on Google, I found a few sites, read a few blogs..."

"Jamie-Lee Burke has a blog," Luke mumbled.

"I was- I was looking more for, you know, blogs of guys who used to be girls," Lucy said. "I thought, well..."

"It'd be more, what, relevant to you than a girl like Jamie-Lee?" Luke asked. "I- I get that. Really, I do. I- I'm sorry if I, you know-" Luke grunted and smiled as his sister gave him an unexpected, but not unwelcome hug.

"Nah, it's okay," Lucy said with a smile. "You were trying to help. Heh, you're about the only person in the world who is."

"And the only person who knows what you're going through," Luke chuckled. "So, umm, do- do you think, you know, that you're transgender? That you, umm, should really be a man?"

"...I'm not 100% sure," Lucy confessed. "But I am, you know, 85-90% that- well, yeah. I SHOULD be a man. I feel like it, deep down inside, that who I am, I'm- I'm just, you know, wrong."

"You should tell someone," Luke said softly.

"Umm, like who, exactly?" Lucy snorted. "Mum? Dad? You really think they'd understand? How d'you think dad would react if you told him you wanted to be a girl?"

"I- umm, I dunno..." Luke mumbled.

"Exactly," Lucy said. "You do- you do want, you know, to be a girl, don't you?"

"...Maybe 70%," Luke replied with a shrug. "If you're, you know, 85-90-"

"Oh- okay," Lucy said, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice. "I thought, you know, 'cause you were following blogs yourself, and this Jamie-Lee woman, that-"

"I need- ugh, I dunno," Luke sighed. "I need to think about it more, that's all. Heh, even though some nights I can't think about anything else."

"Well- aye, I know THAT feeling," Lucy sighed, before giving her brother another welcome hug. "So any time you want to talk, just ask. And no, you don't need to knock, as long as I don't need to knock to come in here, okay?"

"Deal," Luke chuckled as he returned his sister's hug.

Over the course of the following months, the twins took each other up on their offer multiple times, with Luke confessing to Lucy his increasing desire to wear the clothes, the make-up and the jewellery that she hated, and Lucy confessing her envy at Luke growing taller and stronger, being more physically active than her- and especially spending time with their father, who Lucy felt forgot about her a little more with every passing day. The twins would regularly spend hours in each other's bedrooms, talking about their feelings of frustration at being in the wrong bodies, their fantasies of living the lives they so desperately wanted to live, and their anger at the people who they knew would try to prevent their dreams from coming true. During their discussions, Luke and Lucy came to realise that each of them had only one person in the world in whom they could truly trust- each other.

Thanks to their discussions with each other, by the time the twins had turned fourteen, they were both over 99% convinced that they were truly transgender, 'born the wrong way round'- but by the time they were both fourteen, their physical changes had taken an even firmer hold on their life.

Whilst Lucy was stuck at a relatively petite 5' 3", her main growth spurt having long since finished, Luke was 5' 8" and still growing. None of Lucy's clothes came close to fitting Luke, no matter how hard the twins tried. Both of them even followed online tutorials on learning how to sew and alter clothes, but it was to no avail.

On the day before their fourteenth birthday (which fell on a Sunday)- despite their parents' and grandparents' promise the previous year, Lucy was taken to a local salon for the beauty treatment she'd so dreaded, while Luke had gone with his father and grandfather to the match at St James' Park, a 2-1 defeat to Arsenal. All throughout the day, both Luke and Lucy wanted nothing more than to scream in frustration, to yell at their parents that no, they would not go along with what they were told they must do, and they would not be who they were told they must be by the people who pretended to care for them the most. However, just as they had done their whole lives, they remained quiet. They played the parts they were expected to play, even as they felt themselves die a little on the inside.

When they returned home, however, Luke and Lucy immediately perked up, as they were back in each other's company, and could finally drop the mask and stop pretending- though for Lucy, at least, that would be much easier said than done.

"...You, umm, you- you look nice," Luke mumbled as his sister paced around her bedroom, trying to walk off her nervous anger and frustration.

"I look stupid!" Lucy hissed in reply. "I fucking well feel stupid too!" Lucy sighed as she gazed into her mirror at the expensive make-up that had been applied to her face, at the eyeliner and fake eyelashes that highlighted her blue eyes, and the dark pink lipstick that added unwanted volume to her mouth. "Ugh, Luke, I- I know you'd love all this, but-"

"No, I- I'm sorry," Luke sighed. "I should've known saying that'd, you know, make you angry..."

"Worse is that I've got a whole weekend of this," Lucy sighed. "Got to put all this make-up back on first thing tomorrow morning and keep my hair like this for the big, fancy meal we’re having. And wear a stupid dress as well, of course."

"That I'm never going to get to wear," Luke sighed sadly, making Lucy frown before giving her brother a long, tight hug. "We need to do something about this. NEED to."

"Yeah, I know," Lucy sighed. "But what, though? What can we do that wouldn't involve mum and dad finding out?"

"We- we could tell a doctor," Luke shrugged. "All the blogs I've read have said that if you want to transition- medically at least- you need to see a doctor first. We could always make an appointment and go in together, maybe?"

"What good would that do, though?" Lucy asked. "Sure, they can't tell mam and dad, but they can't tell anyone else either, and they can' give us any hormones or any other pills either, definitely not without telling mam and dad."

"Well- it'd be someone else to talk to?" Luke shrugged.

"I'm happy talking to you, though," Lucy said, making her brother sigh.

"If you were that happy, you wouldn't be stomping around the room, would you?" Luke retorted.

"I'm unhappy because of this!" Lucy snarled as she pointed at her made-up face. "Ugh, Luke, I- I'm sorry again. I don't want to snap, but it's not like- ugh, never mind..."

"I- wait right there," Luke said, momentarily leaving his sister alone in her bedroom before returning with a small package in plain wrapping paper.

"What's this?" Lucy asked as she took the package from her brother. "Clothes? You really think this'll help?"

"Just- just open it," Luke said. "It's, like, a 'private' present. One I couldn't give you in front of mum and dad, something for you-"

"Oh- oh my god," Lucy said as she removed the wrapping paper to reveal a football shirt bearing the black and white stripes of her home team.

"It was mine, last year," Luke explained. "It won't fit me anymore, but it might fit you. Heh, figured I should, you know, return the favour for all the times you-"

"Thank you," Lucy said, giving her brother another tight hug. "I love it. Really!"

"Even if it is a year out of date?" Luke asked.

"Better late than never?" Lucy replied, earning a giggle from her brother. "I- I have something for you too, wait a sec..." Luke smiled as Lucy opened her wardrobe and fished a small package out of the bottom, wrapped in just a Tesco carrier bag. "I- I got this for you, I kinda had the same idea, heh."

"What is it?" Luke asked, before gasping in happiness as he opened the bag to reveal a 3-pack of plain black tights in large size- a size that would be far too big for Lucy, but just the right size for him.

"Figured you could, you know, hide these away," Lucy mumbled. "And, you know, you can't wash them ever, so, like, don't overuse them- just like I can't this shirt, heh."

"It's perfect," Luke said with a grin as he gave his sister a gentle hug. "Thank you SO much."

"...What are brothers for?" Lucy said with a happy, contented giggle.

None of the presents the twins received the following day on their actual birthday made them as happy as the presents they had received that Saturday evening. As always, Luke received football-related gifts, a few items of clothing- boys' clothing, of course- a couple of DVDs and a new videogame. Lucy's presents consisted mainly of clothes, as well as some make-up, perfume, a few ornaments for her bedroom and a new, fancy journal, the only present she didn't resent- even if she would have preferred it to not have a floral pattern on the cover. As always, the twins exchanged 'public' presents with each other, with Luke receiving a Guardians of the Galaxy DVD while Lucy received a new, fancy pencil case. This year, however, the twins had an easier time accepting each other's gifts, knowing that they had received their 'real' gifts from each other the previous day.

Luke and Lucy endured the evening meal with their parents and grandparents, the latter being especially relieved when it ended and she could remove her fancy dress and scrub her face clean of her make-up, even if it was only a brief respite before the twins returned to school the following day. However, both Luke and Lucy found it easier to pull on their hated school uniforms when they knew they had their birthday gifts to each other waiting for them when they returned home.

As they knew they couldn't wash each other's gifts, Luke and Lucy only 'indulged' sparingly over the following months, and their 'indulgences' became less and less frequent as spring gave way to summer and eventually autumn, which brought with it the start of a new school year, more specifically, the start of the twins' GCSEs.

Luke and Lucy had both been successful academically in lower years, but they knew that Year 10 was when things really began to get serious. However, both twins relished the challenge that lay ahead of them, especially as the subjects they chose to study provided a rare occasion when they were entirely free to make their own choices. Rather than study a 'manly' topic such as sport, or metalwork or woodwork, Luke instead opted for art and two foreign languages. Lucy, however, surprised her parents by choosing to study PE and electronics. However, there was one area where both twins were as enthusiastic as each other- science.

Luke and Lucy had been fascinated with science, in particular chemistry, ever since Luke had been given a basic chemistry set for his tenth birthday. On that same day, Lucy had received a new pair of ballet slippers, but secretly, she had more fun helping (or even watching) Luke try out the many experiments within the set. As the twins has got older, their interest in science hadn't waned, but when they entered secondary school, they also developed an interest in biology- specifically, the biological differences between men and women, and the way those differences could be overcome or even reversed.

By the time the twins has started their GCSEs, they were already familiar, thanks to Wikipedia and other websites, with the differences between male hormones and female hormones, and the effect it would have on the human body if a person replaced their assigned gender's hormones with those of the opposite gender. It was something both twins were eager to experience, and as such, they threw themselves into their science schoolwork.

Over the course of their GCSEs, Luke and Lucy helped each other study on an almost nightly basis, their regular discussions about their feelings and their ambitions being supplemented by talk of revision and exams. And it paid off- when the twins received their GCSE results in the summer of 2017, both were thrilled to learn they'd got 8s in biology and chemistry- more than enough to secure the place at the further education college they'd applied to. However, the end of the twins' exams had also left them without anything to distract them from the fact that both of them had continued to grow and change over the previous two years. Both of the twins were sixteen, meaning that Luke was almost a man, and Lucy was almost a woman- and the situation was becoming unbearable for both of them.

Luke stood only a shade under six feet tall, with well-defined muscles and an unmistakably masculine jawline that was regularly covered in light stubble. Lucy, meanwhile, stood a mere 5' 4" tall, which may have been average height for a woman, but was far shorter than Lucy had hoped to grow. She had a narrow waist, curvaceous hips and bottom and soft C-cup breasts on her chest, all of which had made her the object of desire for many of her male schoolfriends. While Lucy wasn't entirely repelled by the attention, and even found some of the boys attractive, she felt that the attention was unwarranted, as while the boys may have liked her body, she herself hated it.

However, on one fateful July morning, things would finally begin to change for the twins.

"Are you going to spend the whole summer sulking in your room?" Paul chastised his daughter. "This is the longest summer break you'll ever get, you should be out enjoying if with your friends!" What friends? Lucy self-pityingly thought to herself as she thought about the girls from her school, many of whom would be soaking up the sun on the Tyneside beaches wearing tiny bikinis, or hanging around coffee shops or back gardens in loose, tiny summer clothing that showed off their body. Lucy, meanwhile, was desperate to hide her body away from the rest of the world, figuring- or rather, hoping that if it was out of sight, it would be out of mind. However, as hard as she tried, nothing could pull Lucy out of her funk- especially not her father.

"I'm happy in here," Lucy moaned. Well, happier, Lucy thought to herself. Or 'less miserable'. Slightly less miserable, anyway...

"It's a gorgeous day outside, you don't want to spend all if it indoors!" Paul said.

"And who are you to tell me what I want?" Lucy whispered quietly. "Not that you'd ever change the habit of a lifetime..."

"Okay- fine, have it your way," Paul sighed in exasperation. "But don't come whining to me when you suddenly find it's September and you've wasted your whole summer break!"

"I won't," Lucy grunted as she rolled off her bed and skulked over to her wardrobe, retrieving the football shirt she'd stashed at the back- the same shirt her brother had given her two years earlier. In what had become a ritual for her, Lucy pressed the soft fabric against her face and inhaled, trying as hard as she could to concentrate on the feel and the smell in the hope that it would blot out the feelings generated by her body. As always, however, Lucy was forced to face the cold, hard truth that her body had not changed, and nor was it going to.

On the other side of the landing, Luke laid on his bed lazily scrolling through videos on his phone. When the Grand Tour had launched on Amazon, it hadn't taken much to convince his father to shell out for an Amazon Prime membership, but Luke couldn't have cared less about the antics of Clarkson, Hammond and May- it was the show that originally featured six, but had since expanded to ten supermodels that interested him the most, not least because two of the ten women were born as boys, just as Luke had been.

"It's sometimes difficult," the refined voice of Jamie-Lee Burke spoke quietly from Luke's phone. "Just trying to be yourself when the whole world tells you you're someone, someTHING else."

"How did you cope?" The interviewer asked, prompting a smile from the blonde woman.

"With my friends," Jamie replied. "True friends, the ones you can really talk to, are rarer than diamonds. But I also had a lot of professional help, too. I still speak to my gender identity counsellor from time to time, and there's no shame in that, in seeking help if you need it."

"What advice would you give to young transgendered people who might not be able to live life as the gender they want?" The interviewer asked. "Or who might be prevented from doing so by their circumstances?"

"I would say that there ARE people out there who will help," Jamie said. "Even if it feels like the whole world is against you, believe me, it isn't."

"Easy for you to say," Luke sighed as he tossed his phone aside and laid back on his bed. He'd watched the video of Jamie's interview countless times, and each time he'd hoped to get some kind of insight, some kind of revelation that would help him break free of his male body, but each time, he'd been disappointed. Each time he finished watching the video, he stared down at his athletic, masculine 5' 11" frame and sighed.

Luke would've given anything to be able to be a girl, even if it was for only 30 seconds. But none of his sister's clothes fit him, he couldn't buy any of his own, he couldn't even apply any make-up out of fear of being caught. Like his sister, Luke was afraid of the consequences of being HERself- and that's what made him most depressed of all.

With a heavy sigh, Luke picked himself off his bed and loped downstairs to get a drink, when he discovered his father deep in an unusual phone conversation.

"Aye, that'll be grand," Paul said as he paced back and forth in the living room. "Alright, she'll see you then." Luke frowned in confusion as his father ended the phone call, before turning to him with a serious look on his face.

"...Dad?" Luke asked. "Who was that?"

"The doctor," Paul replied.

"Wh- are you alright?" Luke asked, concern quickly spreading across his face.

"Aye, I'm fine," Paul replied. "It's your sister." Panic gripped Luke's body and his heart started to race at the news- while he would've been devastated at the loss of any member of his family, the mere idea of his sister becoming ill filled him with a greater sense of dread than he had ever felt in his young life.

"Wh- what, is- umm- is- wh-" Luke babbled.

"You've probably not noticed," Paul said sombrely, "but lately she- she ain't been herself. Your mam and I are- we're worried that she might be depressed. We've booked her an appointment at the GP tomorrow at eleven, could you nip upstairs and tell her?" Luke gripped onto the banister for support as the adrenaline quickly disappeared from his body- after all, his father wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know. He also knew that Lucy would be ballistically angry at their father once again making a decision for her- but he also knew, thanks to watching the interview with Jamie-Lee Burke, that the appointment presented a golden opportunity- for both of them...

"Sure," Luke said with a shrug as he headed back upstairs, trying not to run out of fear of giving away his excitement about his plan. When he reached his sister's bedroom, he opened the door and entered without knocking, just as he and Lucy had agreed all those years ago.

"Hey Luke," Lucy moaned. "Heard you and dad talking downstairs, what were you talking about?"

"...Umm, you, actually," Luke mumbled, flinching as his sister shot him an angry stare.

"Should I even bother asking?" Lucy snorted.

"He- he's booked you a doctor's appointment for tomorrow," Luke explained, his tension levels rising as Lucy's stare got even angrier.

"I'm NOT sick," Lucy growled.

"He's worried that you're depressed," Luke explained.

"I-" Lucy began, only to be cut off by her brother.

"And you are depressed," Luke continued. "Don't bother denying it, this is me you're talking to. You're depressed, and so am I."

"So what's a doctor going to do?" Lucy scoffed. "Give us both some pills that make us dopey? No thanks."

"Well, there are pills that'd help us," Luke suggested. "They're called hormones."

"Oh- yeah, like THAT's gonna happen," Lucy spat. "I like actually having a bed to sleep in, thank you very much."

"Aye, so do I," Luke sighed. "But I also like wearing skirts. I like wearing make-up. I like being able to be free to talk about my feelings, watch what I want, say what I wa- heh, just to BE who I want."

"None of which will happen in a ten-minute meeting with a doctor," Lucy retorted.

"No, but after a load of meetings with a gender identity counsellor, it might," Luke said. "I was watching an interview with Jamie-Lee Burke-"

"Now THAT's a surprise," Lucy scoffed.

"-And you know what she said?" Luke asked, undeterred by his sister's sarcasm. "That there's no shame in asking for help if you need it. And let's be honest, we need help."

"We need better parents," Lucy sighed.

"Yeah, well, I can't argue with that," Luke said. "But things aren't going to get any better if we do nothing, and this- well, it's something, you know?"

"Well- I guess," Lucy said. "Though did you notice how dad just made this appointment without even talking to me first?"

"He's a MAN," Luke shrugged. "Talking about things like feelings or depression are just- 'ugh' to him."

"But you can?" Lucy asked, a sly smile spreading across her lips.

"Yeah," Luke replied. "So what does that say about me?"

"...You total GIRL," Lucy teased her brother, who simply smiled smugly in response.

"Thank you, BOY," Luke replied, feeling a sense of true happiness as his sister giggled happily.

However, as the twins discovered later that night, even this first step toward living the lives they dreamed of wouldn't be entirely free of obstacles.

"Wha' that girl needs ain't a doctor's appointment, it's a good hiding!" Derek spat as his grandchildren listened on from Lucy's room, directly above where the argument was taking place. "That'd soon teach her ta stop bein' depressed! That boy o' yours, too!"

"Dad, it ain't the fifties anymore," Paul retorted. "You can't just solve a problem by giving it a hiding!"

"Ya can't, but I can!" Derek scoffed, making his grandchildren simultaneously roll their eyes.

"I'd like to see him try," Luke snorted. "Just- what planet does he live on?"

"Ugh, one I never want to visit," Lucy spat.

"Are- are you still up for going tomorrow?" Luke asked hesitantly. "To the doctor's, I mean?" Lucy paused before answering to listen to the argument continuing beneath her.

"Wha' this world needs is less hand-holdin' and more good, honest graft!" Derek snarled. "Get tha' boy in the army, they'll teach him ta be a real man!"

"And find that girl a nice husband she can settle down with!" Elaine insisted. "That's probably why she's miserable, 'cause she hasn't got a boyfriend yet!"

"...Oh yeah," Lucy replied. "I am DEFINITELY up for tomorrow."

The following day, the twins put their plan into action. Realising that it'd look odd if Luke accompanied Lucy to her appointment, he left the house early, planning to rendezvous with his sister at the GP's surgery.

Lucy, meanwhile, had played the role of the sullen teenager to a T, protesting and whining about going to the appointment only to be told in no uncertain terms that she would be going- just as she had hoped. Knowing that her father would insist on driving her to the surgery, Lucy had managed to convince him to drop her at the front door and let her go in alone, for fear of being seen by any of her friends- a concern that was totally fictional but which she knew her father would believe. After all, he still thought of Lucy as being the stereotypical teenaged girl he was expecting, rather than the conflicted teenaged boy she knew she was, deep down inside. Once Paul had driven off, Lucy summoned her brother via a text message, and the two of them waited for Lucy to be called in to speak to their family doctor.

"Hello Lucy, Luke," Dr Sutton had said with a smile. "Lucy, it's just you that your dad asked me to speak to today, and given what we're discussing, are you sure you want-"

"Yes, I want Luke to be here," Lucy interrupted, exchanging a nervous smile with her brother. "Why I'm here affects him as much as it does me."

"Well- okay, it's your meeting," Dr Sutton shrugged. "I guess twins are closer than most sibling relationships, after all."

"Yeah, we- we have a lot in common," Luke said, smiling as his sister chuckled nervously.

"Before we begin," Dr Sutton said, "I want you to know that everything you say in here is completely confidential. I won't tell your parents anything you tell me without your explicit consent, even if what you say has to concern them. As I said at the start, this is YOUR meeting, not theirs." Lucy took a deep breath and felt herself calming down following the doctor's reassurances- which felt very similar to those her brother had given her the day before.

"Okay," Lucy said.

"Your father asked me to see you as he's worried that you've been depressed recently," Dr Sutton said in a soft, professional voice. "I'm not going to patronise you by saying that all teenagers are moody- only you can tell me what the problem really is. Lucy, is there a problem you want to discuss with me today?"

"...Yes," Lucy replied as she felt her heart race and her whole body becoming flustered. She was about to tell someone other than her twin the secret that had consumed her whole life, and she felt simultaneously terrified and exhilarated at the prospect of someone new learning about her secret- about the 'real' her.

"Take your time," Dr Sutton said.

"All my life, I- or rather, we..." Lucy said.

"We- we've felt like we- we were 'wrong'," Luke continued.

"Okay," Dr Sutton said. "Can you describe in what way you feel 'wrong'?"

"We-" Lucy began, before freezing, her throat refusing to obey her and say the words she'd longed to say for years.

"We feel that we were born the wrong way round," Luke said firmly. "All my life, I- I've dreamed about being a girl."

"And I- I've always thought that I should be a boy," Lucy explained, her heart racing as the doctor simply nodded.

"You say you've had these feelings your whole life?" Dr Sutton asked, smiling as the twins both nodded in response.

"I- we've, umm, we've read online about things like gender dysphoria," Luke explained. "We- we think that describes us."

"I feel- I actually feel ashamed of my body," Lucy said, blinking back a tear. "Like, this is just not who I'm supposed to be!"

"I understand," Dr Sutton said. "Have you told your parents about this?" The doctor frowned as both teenagers scoffed in derision. "I'll take that as a 'no', then. If I can be serious for a minute, I should tell you that I can't diagnose gender dysphoria. That has to be done by a specially trained counsellor, who I'll be only too happy to refer you to if that's what you want."

"Definitely," Lucy said without hesitation.

"Please," Luke said, a nervous smile spreading across his face.

"This counsellor won't be able to diagnose you in one meeting," Dr Sutton said. "It can take some time. I'm sure you're aware of hormone replacement therapy as well?" The doctor smiled as both twins nodded. "They can prescribe that if they feel they should, and as you're both sixteen, they won't have a problem with prescribing an adult dose if they feel it's necessary- and you won't need permission of your parents to do that, either. That said though, as you are still living with your parents-"

"Yeah, that is the problem," Lucy sighed. "We know it ain't gonna be easy."

"But this is a journey we want to take," Luke said softly. "T- together." Luke grinned widely as he stared into his sister's eyes, seeing for the first time in years the glimmer of hope. They were under no illusion that the journey would be a quick of easy one, but they had taken the first steps, and together, they would take the next step, and the next, and the next, and however many steps were necessary until they had fulfilled their dreams- dreams that for the first time ever, started to look like a reality.

Luke and Lucy had their first meeting with their gender identity counsellor just over a month after confessing their feelings to each other, and just a few days before they started college. As they had done their whole lives, the twins attended the counselling session together, despite the counsellor's offer of separate appointments. During the session, Luke and Lucy told the counsellor everything they had told Dr Sutton, and at the end felt relieved to get their frustrations and stresses off their chest, and happy at the knowledge that their next meeting was only a few days away.

However, as much as they enjoyed speaking to their counsellor, the fact still remained that when they emerged from their first meeting, Luke was still just as male and Lucy was still just as female as they had been when they entered the meeting, and neither of them were any closer to figuring out how to tell their parents what they'd wanted to tell them for over a decade.

While fully transitioning wasn't yet an option for the twins, they were able to make smaller, subtler changes to their daily lives as they began their college studies- with Lucy's changes being significantly less subtle than Luke's.

"Are you sure you want to wear that to college?" Sarah asked her daughter as the sixteen-year-old girl grabbed her rucksack and joined her brother downstairs.

"Yep," Lucy bluntly replied, earning an exasperated sigh from her mother.

"It's a little plain, isn't it?" Sarah asked. "You want to make a good first impression on your first day at college. Believe me, the next two years will go a lot easier if you have friends that you-"

"Mam- I'm okay, really," Lucy interrupted, earning an angry frown from her mother. "Why is it such a big deal what I wear, anyway?"

"Because I don't want you to be unhappy at college, that's why," Sarah replied. "You ARE going to want to make friends when you're there. And believe it or not, I do still remember being your age, and back then, nobody wanted to be friends with the plain-looking loner."

"Oh- geez, thanks mam," Lucy snorted, deepening her mother's frown even as she herself flinched. In the months since leaving school, similar arguments had become increasingly frequent as Lucy had rebelled against her mother's attempts to turn her into the girl she wanted her to be. And yet as much as she wished she could tell her mother the real reason for her 'rebellion', Lucy kept quiet, her fear continuing to overpower her depression.

"You know what I mean," Sarah sighed. "With everything you've been through the last few months, I- I just don't want you to be miserable. is that so bad?"

"Wearing some lipstick and a trendy skirt isn't going to make me less miserable," Lucy scoffed. "The opposite, in fact."

"Well- it's your life, you wear what you want," Sarah said, throwing her hands up in defeat as the twins left the house and made their way to the nearest bus stop.

"Yeah, if only that were true," Lucy sighed as her brother smiled at her sympathetically.

"One day, she'll get it," Luke reassured his sister. "We'll make her get it. Even if she and dad didn't say a thing about what I'm wearing..."

"You wear jeans and a t-shirt, big deal," Lucy scoffed. "I wear it and the fucking world ends."

"...Mam does kinda have a bit of a point, though," Luke said hesitantly, flinching as Lucy looked at him with the same angry stare that their mother had used on her moments earlier.

"...About what, exactly?" Lucy asked.

"We aren't gonna know anyone at college," Luke said, earning a frown from his sister as she was forced to concede the point. "It would be nice to maybe make some new friends?"

"If I'm going to make friends," Lucy said firmly, "then I'm going to make them as me, not as some fake, plastic version of me!"

"Right on, sister," Luke said with a smile that Lucy eventually mirrored. "And the same goes for me. If anyone would ever want to make friends with- well, 'that' Luke, anyway."

"I do," Lucy said with a shrug that widened her brother's smile.

"We'll do this together, right?" Luke asked.

"Aye," Lucy said. "Always." The teenaged girl smiled confidently as she and her brother boarded the bus, though inside, she was almost paralysed with fear. What if her mother had been right? What if she was walking into a place where no one wanted to be friends with her? Or even worse, what if the friends she made were just like her 'friends' from school- shallow and superficial, girls who would judge Lucy purely for wearing jeans and no make-up, just like her mother said- girls to whom she could never show the 'real' her?

Unbeknownst to Lucy, her brother was gripped by the exact same fear as her. He too wanted to make friends, but not with the same meatheads he'd hung around with at school. He didn't want to spend all of his free time playing football or talking about which girls he'd want to have sex with the most- the type of 'banter' that had made Luke extremely uncomfortable at secondary school. What worried Luke the most, though, was whether or not he'd be able to keep his 'mask' in place, whether or not he'd be able to keep up the pretense of being an ordinary boy- or even being a boy full stop. The older he got, the more certain he was that him being a boy was wrong, and the more effort it took to behave the way 'he' was expected to. He knew that one slip, just one tiny flaw in his behaviour would irreparably ruin the rest of his time at college- if not the rest of his life...

Fortunately for the twins, they always had each other. They stayed glued to each other during their first day at college, such as when they were meeting their tutors, registering with the school library or touring the campus. Even their toilet breaks were synchronised so that they wouldn't be without the other's company for too long. Luke and Lucy were both relieved to discover that they were in all of each other's classes as well, and over the first week, they gradually began to settle into the college routine- even if they were no closer to making any new friends. Luke and Lucy discussed joining one of the college's many societies together, but that was hampered by the fact that as close as they were, they had very few interests in common. Lucy had no desire to join any of the performing arts societies that took Luke's interest, while Luke flat-out refused to join the college's football team- even though, much to Lucy's irritation, there was no girls' team that she could join. Luke's suggestion that Lucy could always start a team of her own was not met with positivity from the young woman.

Eventually, the last days of Summer passed, and as Autumn began, the twins quickly settled into their new routine. Despite Sarah's fears, no one at college said anything about the androgynous-looking girl or her shy, sensitive brother- at least, not to the twins' faces. However, not much else was said to the twins' faces, either. Their classmates were polite enough, but both Luke and Lucy knew they were the outsiders, the loners in their college, the 'weird twins who only hung around with each other because no one else liked them'. They also knew the reason for this- and knew that because they could never tell anyone the reason, things were unlikely to change.

However, in the second week of October, the twins finally received a much-needed ray of hope from a very unexpected source.

"Okay," Mr. Patterson, the twins' teacher, said at the start of the lesson. "I hope you all read chapter 4 over the weekend, as you're gonna need it for your next assignment. To start off, I want you to pair up, but with someone you've not worked with yet. Sorry, you two!" Luke and Lucy grimaced as they were singled out by their teacher, as while they knew his teasing was good-natured, they were both secretly terrified at having to work with another person and losing the 'safety net' that they had in each other.

Knowing that he had to 'keep up appearances' and pretend to be just 'one of the guys', Luke approached one of the other boys in the class, trying his hardest not to sigh at what he knew was coming next.

"Alright mate?" The other boy said with a cheeky grin. "Not got a partner either, like?"

"Well, umm, not anymore, no!" Luke replied, internally cringing at the other boy's lack of reaction to his joke. "I'm, umm, I'm Luke, by the way."

"Neil," the other boy said. "So, you're pissed off that you're not allowed to work with your girlfriend, then?"

"Oh, she- she is NOT my girlfriend!" Luke said, cringing again at the look of confusion on the other boy's face.

"What, you- you're not, like, a poofter, are you?" Neil asked as Luke's stomach began to churn. He had to go right there, didn't he? Luke thought to himself.

"Umm... No..." Luke replied, though internally, he knew he wasn't being 100% truthful.

Luke rarely thought about sex for a number of reasons, but mostly because every time he did, he felt ashamed- ashamed that he felt boys more attractive than girls.

All throughout his time at school, whenever Luke's friends had bantered about the more attractive girls in the school, Luke had gone along with it- nodding when he was supposed to nod, laughing when he was supposed to laugh and sneering at the girls deemed less attractive by his 'clique'. Fortunately for Luke, his sister was never the subject of any of the 'clique's banter, and even more fortunately for Luke, he was never expected to come with any names of his own, as while the rest of the boys were obsessed with getting a girlfriend, Luke was obsessed with being a girlfriend. His obsession with girls ended with their clothes, hair and make-up. But he never dared to tell any of his 'friends' this for fear of how they'd react, and Luke didn't dare tell Neil either for the same reason- and he certainly didn't dare tell Neil how attractive he found him...

"...She's my sister," Luke explained. "We're twins."

"Ah, okay," Neil said. "You don't look a lot alike, though?"

"Well- no," Luke said. "On account of her being a girl and me being a boy." Luke bit his lip as he waited for Neil to respond- he didn't want to patronise the boy, but at the same time, he hated having to self-identify as a boy.

"Okay, fair enough," Neil chuckled, setting Luke's mind at ease. "What's this thing we're meant to be doing then?" Luke smiled as he and Neil began to read through the assignment together, relieved that he didn't have to answer any further personal questions.

However, while Luke was able to relax, Lucy felt herself grow more and more uncomfortable with the study partner she'd found herself with. Other than a quick exchange of 'hi's, she and the other girl had barely spoken, the red-haired girl instead preferring to immerse herself in her phone. Friendly girl, Lucy thought to herself as she tried not to scowl. Several awkward moments of silence passed as the girls waited for their assignment to be handed out to them, and despite herself, Lucy couldn't help but stealthily peep at the girl's screen, scowling when she saw that she had the Angels' app open. However, when she looked back a few seconds later, Lucy frowned with confusion when she saw that the Angels' app had been replaced with the official Newcastle United FC app.

"...Toon fan, then?" Lucy hesitantly asked, hoping that the other didn't notice (or didn't mind) her snooping.

"Aye," the other girl replied. "Went to the Liverpool match last week with my dad, we got tickets for the Bournemouth match too, 'cause that's on my birthday, like."

"Cool," Lucy said. "I- I'm Lucy, by the way."

"Susie," the other girl replied with a smile. "So... Annoyed at being separated from your boyfriend, then?"

"Oh- GOD, no!" Lucy snorted. "He is absolutely NOT my boyfriend."

"That's a bit of an emphatic denial!" Susie chuckled. "So... Amicable ex? Not-very-amicable ex?"

"Twin brother," Lucy said forcefully.

"...Okay, I'll just sit here with my foot in my mouth for the rest of the morning, then," Susie mumbled.

"N- no, don't worry about it THAT much," Lucy mumbled. "I'm just surprised, like, you didn't know? Like, we don't make a secret of it?"

"I- ugh, no offence, but, I- I try not to, you know, shove my nose into other people's business?" Susie replied.

"Yep, me too," Lucy chuckled. "And I do appreciate it, I really wish other people would take a hint and not poke their nose into my private life, heh."

"...That sounds like something else I shouldn't pry into any further, so I won't," Susie said with a grin.

"And I appreciate that too," Lucy said, a wide smile quickly appearing on her face as well. "So, do you go to see the Toon play much?"

"We try to go at least once a month," Susie replied. "Me and my dad. 'Cause, you know, I'm an only child... I think he always wanted a son, but it's cool, I like football, so everything's great, heh!"

"Yeah..." Lucy sighed. "I keep trying to persuade my dad to take me, but he'd rather go with Luke instead, so- yeah."

"Is he a bit old-fashioned then, your dad?" Susie asked, half-smirking and half-grimacing as Lucy rolled her eyes. "Never mind, that answers THAT question, heh!" Lucy smiled as her new friend started to blush again. "Sorry, I really should learn to keep my nose out, heh..."

"Nah, I don't mind," Lucy shrugged, before chuckling tiredly as their assignment was handed to them.

"Well, maybe we can pick up the conversation at lunch?" Susie asked, before sighing sadly. "...Unless you'd rather hang out with your brother at lunch?"

"No reason we can't all hang out together, the three of us," Lucy shrugged. He'll certainly be interested that you're an Angels fan, Lucy thought to herself.

"Cool!" Susie giggled as Lucy relaxed more and more.

Lucy had been so certain that she'd never have anything in common with any of the girls on her course that it had never even occurred to her to just talk to one of them and see where it led. Lucy was looking forward to talking more with Susie at lunch- but she was also wary.

Like her brother, Lucy was attracted to boys, but she also found herself being attracted to many of the girls at her college- and Susie was one of them. Lucy found the girl funny, friendly and very cute- but she knew that if she even thought about starting a relationship with Susie, or any other girl, there'd be hell to pay with her parents, her grandparents and anyone else who found out. Not being able to tell anyone about her sexuality had become a source of frustration and misery for Lucy- but over the months, Lucy had become accustomed to the misery, to the extent that she almost didn't want to imagine her life without it. However, taking a chance on befriending Susie had worked out better than Lucy could've hoped for- and it made her wonder if she should start to take any other chances...

After a long morning of hard work, all of the class were relieved when the bell rang to signal the start of the lunch period- and no one was more relieved than Luke. He was relieved that he wouldn't have to listen to any more of Neil's drivel about football and he was especially relieved that he wouldn't have to listen to any of his jokes about the girls in their class and how they were 'gagging for it'. He could head to lunch, sit with his sister and just enjoy not having to pretend to be someone- or something- that he wasn't.

Luke's hopes were dashed, however, when he entered the canteen and discovered that Lucy wasn't alone at their usual corner table.

"Hi Luke!" Lucy said with a wide grin that immediately irritated Luke. Lunch was their time, when they could drop their public act and just be candid with each other, not having to worry about what anyone else said or thought. However, as irritated as he was, Luke trusted his sister enough to know that she wouldn't have invited a stranger to sit with them without a good reason, and given that she was even more reluctant to make new friends than Luke was, for her to have made a new friend in just a morning made Luke confident that the new girl, whoever she was, might become his friend too.

"Hi," Luke said with a smile as he approached the stranger. "I- I'm Luke, Lucy's brother."

"Susie Parker," the new girl said, grinning as Luke sat down with his meal. "Lucy here's been telling me all about you!" Luke suddenly froze in his seat and glared at his sister. All? The teenaged boy thought to himself as his anger suddenly returned.

"Well- not ALL about you," Lucy said, smiling sympathetically in an attempt to reassure her brother. "Just, you know, the shit stuff."

"You've not been talking long, then?" Luke asked, forcing a smirk onto his face as the two girls rolled their eyes.

"BOY," Lucy said, again smiling sympathetically so as to let her brother know she didn't mean what she'd said- she knew all too well how insulting that three letter word was to Luke.

"Lucy's been telling me that you're a Toon fan," Susie said.

"Aye, all my life," Luke replied, knowing sadly that he'd have to play the part that was expected of him- that of the stereotypical boy. It was a role he was familiar with, but that didn't mean he liked it, or wanted to spend any of his lunch playing the role, especially not after his morning with Neil.

"Cool," Susie said as an awkward silence fell over the table. "So, umm, do you- do you like, have any other hobbies?"

"Umm, not really..." Luke said, subtly glaring angrily at his sister. "I can always go and sit somewhere else if you two-"

"No- don't, not on my account anyway," Susie said.

"Nah, it's okay," Luke said. "Probably should talk more with my partner about the project anyway."

"Luke, seriously," Lucy said firmly. "Susie- Susie's also a big fan of the Angels."

"...How do you know THAT?" Susie asked with a frown.

"I- I kinda saw you checking their app," Lucy replied. "When I first sat down, you know?"

"Oh," Susie said, her frown deepening. "Okay... You- you didn't say anything in class about it? Are you a fan too?"

"Well, not really," Lucy replied. "The reason I recognise the app is 'cause-"

"No," Luke whispered, his tension levels quickly skyrocketing.

"'Cause Luke-" Lucy stammered. "Luke's kinda a fan too."

"Wha- really?" Susie asked, keeping her voice lowered to spare the young man's blushes.

"...HUGE fan," Luke confessed. "I know, I know, it's kinda, you know, gay..."

"And what's wrong with 'gay'?" Susie asked, smirking as Luke's tension visibly started to recede. "You- you aren't, are you? 'Cause I'm totally cool with it if you are, and I can keep a secret as well, honestly."

"Wha, did- did you tell her already?" Luke asked, before biting his lip as Susie frowned in confusion and his sister fixed him with an angry glare.

"...Tell me what?" Susie asked. "Is, like, is there- actually, you know what? If it's a secret, I get it, you don't have to tell me, I mean, for god's sake, we've known each other for less than five minutes, seriously? But if you like the Angels too, then I guarantee you've got a friend in me, heh!"

"...Thanks," Luke whispered as he and his sister calmed down again.

"But there is one thing I NEED to know," Susie said with an impish grin.

"Umm, okay...?" Luke said.

"Who's your favourite Angel?" Susie asked.

"Ah, that's easy," Luke replied with a grin. Jamie, the young man thought to himself. Or Kelly. For obvious reasons that I probably shouldn't tell you just yet... "It's, umm, it's Alice."

"Well, obviously!" Susie giggled. "I mean sure, she's from Stockton, but that's still the north, right?"

"Totally," Luke replied with a giggle. "And no, there's nothing wrong with 'gay' even though I'm not- well, you know." Not technically, anyway, Luke thought to himself. Not if I'm really a girl and only fancy boys, right?

The three teenagers spent the rest of their lunch period getting to know each other better, with the twins learning about Susie's childhood, her frustration at being an only child and her difficulty with making friends, while Susie heard stories about the twins' frustration with their parents and grandparents- though both Luke and Lucy were careful not to let slip the real reason for their frustration.

Eventually, the afternoon drew to a close, and with their work done for the day, Lucy and Susie said goodbye to each other, but not before each promised to add the other on Facebook that evening. As she headed toward the exit of the college, though, Lucy grimaced when she saw her brother head toward her with a look of anger on his face.

"...So, then?" Luke asked through gritted teeth. "Did you tell her?"

"What?" Lucy snorted. "Of course not! She only knew there was a secret because you blabbed it to her."

"Well- okay, maybe," Luke said, before sighing angrily.

"What?" Lucy protested again. "You're the one who said it'd be nice to make some new friends..."

"Aye," Luke agreed. "And it'd have been nice to know them for longer than five minutes before telling them about you know what!"

"Ugh, for god's sake, I didn't tell her already!" Lucy growled. "Please believe me on that?"

"...Fine," Luke sighed. "And- and you're right, she obviously didn't know until I nearly- well, yeah."

"Yeah," Lucy said.

"I still don't want it getting around the college that I like the Angels, though," Luke mumbled. "It came up when I was chatting with the guy I'm working with and he wrote it off as 'gay shit'."

"Well, we won't be inviting HIM round any time soon, will we?" Lucy asked with a smirk.

"No chance," Luke chuckled. "But- but Susie...?"

"I- I'd like to get to know her better, aye," Lucy said, before smiling sympathetically. "But you're not getting replaced, okay? You're my best friend, you always have been, and you always will be. It's just nice to finally, you know, have a best 'girl' friend, that's all."

"Even though you're not really a girl?" Luke asked quietly, making Lucy pause to think.

"...No reason boys and girls can't be just friends," Lucy said with a grin that Luke mirrored- as agitated as he was, he was happy to see his sister finally smiling.

"Very true," Luke said with a grin as the siblings headed toward their home. Like his sister, he was looking forward to getting to know Susie better, and hoped that he could as good friends with her as Lucy obviously hoped to be. However, he was also wary- Susie had to know that he had a secret and would undoubtedly pry into it, and Luke knew that if his secret did come out, his life would be over. College, family, friends- all over in an instant. Luke prayed that his sister's judgement was correct, and that Susie would turn out to be the friend they both always dreamed of having...

Over the following few weeks, Lucy and Susie grew ever closer as friends while they worked on their project together. Luke had no such luck with Neil, but he didn't expect to- Neil was an almost stereotypical meat headed boy, only interested in girls and football. Luke played along, engaging in the banter that was expected of him, but all the while his mind was elsewhere, imagining what it would be like to have a true friend, a female friend like Susie that Luke could hang out with. Sure, Luke had Lucy, but he knew that she was no more a girl than he was a boy. In theory, Luke could always have hung out with Susie anyway, but he knew there were two major obstacles to that. Firstly, everybody, especially his parents, would assume that Susie was his girlfriend, and second, and most importantly, Susie still didn't know about Luke's biggest secret- and Luke was terrified at the prospect of telling her...

Eventually, November rolled around, and brought with it the party that the twins were looking forward to, but also secretly dreading- not because of having to spend the day with Susie, but because of the reaction the 'party' had received from their parents.

"I still don't get why she'd want to spend her birthday watching football," Sarah said as the twins grabbed their coats and prepared to leave the house. "I mean, sure, you said that she's a tomboy, but what about all her other friends? They'll be bored stiff..."

"Speaking of 'stiff'," Paul teased his son, earning an eye roll from the sixteen-year-old boy. "Oh come on, you FINALLY get a girlfriend and you're going to keep us waiting forever to meet her?"

"Susie isn't my girlfriend," Luke meekly mumbled, inwardly sighing as his father simply chuckled in response.

"Of course she isn't," Paul laughed. "Well, just be glad that your first girlfriend at least likes the same things you do!" Yeah, Luke sarcastically thought to himself as he and his sister tried not to roll their eyes.

"Well, the important thing is that the three of you have fun today," Sarah said with a sincere smile. "And I am glad that you're both making friends."

"Even if for one of yas 'friend' is in inverted commas!" Paul teased his son, chuckling as the teenager rolled his eyes. "Go on, go and have fun at the football. I'll keep an eye out for the three of you in the crowd, maybe then I'll finally get to see what this 'Susie' girl looks like!"

"You'll meet her soon, I already told you," Lucy said, before internally breathing a sigh of relief as the sound of a car's horn came from outside the house. "We'll see you later."

"Stay safe, you two!" Sarah called after her children as they left the house, not hearing the frustrated groans they both let out once the front door was closed.

"...You know we're going to have to introduce Susie to them sooner or later," Luke sighed. "That's a conversation I'm NOT looking forward to."

"A conversation with who, mum and dad or Susie?" Lucy asked.

"All of them," Luke replied with a snort. "I mean, yes, I keep saying to them that Lucy isn't my girlfriend, but- ugh. Once they get an idea in their head..."

"Uh- yeah?" Lucy snorted. "This is me you're talking to, remember? Mum had it in her head for years that I was gonna be a ballerina, never mind the fact that a, I couldn't dance, and b, I hated dancing."

"Still, at least we get to do what WE want today," Luke said with a grin as he opened the car door and he and his sister slid onto the back seat.

"Or rather, what the birthday girl wants!" Lucy said with a teasing grin. "Happy birthday, Suse!"

"Happy birthday!" Luke cheered.

"Aww, thanks you two!" Susie replied from the front passenger seat with a wide grin.

"What did you get today?" Lucy asked eagerly.

"Well, this, for starters!" Susie replied, turning around as far as she could to show off her brand-new Newcastle United football shirt. "And some money, a few DVDs, the usual stuff."

"I've tried to remind her that seventeen isn't as big as the birthdays either side," Susie's mother teased her daughter, earning a sigh from the birthday girl.

"Did you get any Angels stuff?" Luke asked, before biting his lip as he earned a frown of confusion from his friend's mother.

"Odd question for a boy to ask," Mrs. Parker chuckled.

"Nah, there's no reason boys can't be into the Angels," Susie said with a shrug. "And no, I didn't, though I'm going to be getting the Out of Heaven tour DVD once it's out. Wish I could've gone down south to go to one of the shows last month..."

"Or they could've come up here," Luke chuckled, again cringing as his friend's mother looked at him with confusion. "Anyway, umm, will we be meeting everyone else at the stadium?" Luke frowned with confusion as his question earned disapproving looks from the two women in the front of the car, before triggering an awkward silence within the vehicle.

"Umm..." Lucy said, meekly attempting to break the silence. "Luke and me, we- we clubbed together on your present, hope you don't mind?"

"No, of course not!" Susie replied, the smile returning to her face as she took the carefully wrapped package from Lucy's hands and looked expectantly at her mother.

"...Yes, go on, you can unwrap it now," Mrs. Parker said, smiling as Susie eagerly tore into the package to reveal a small bundle of clothes and CDs.

"We didn't know what exactly we should get you, so we sort-of got you, like, a mixed bag of stuff," Luke explained.

"Also, we couldn't agree on what to get you," Lucy said.

"Ah, really, this is great!" Susie giggled. "Thank you both SO much for this!"

"It must be nice to be as close as you two are," Mrs. Parker mused. "Though I suppose being twins, it's kinda part of the territory, heh. I always regret Susie not having a little brother of sis-"

"Mum!" Susie hissed, silencing her parent, much to the surprise and confusion of her two friends.

"...Anyway," Mrs. Parker said in a subdued voice, "it's just a pity Susie's dad had to work today, he usually goes to matches with Susie, but I'm sure the three of you will have fun by yourself."

"Yeah," Luke said, trying his hardest not to frown with confusion as the car pulled into the car park of St James' Park.

The three teenagers quickly jumped out of the car (with Susie handing her presents to her mother for safe keeping) and made their way to the turnstiles, the two girls' excitement levels rising with every step they took. Luke, however, felt increasingly distracted, not just by the prospect of having to sit through yet another football match, but by the question he'd asked during the car ride but hadn't received an answer to. The question nagged at Luke's mind until he finally blurted it out, stopping the two young women in their tracks.

"So... Are we meeting anyone else here?" Luke asked, biting his lip and trying not to flinch as the birthday girl turned to him with an angry look in her eyes.

"No," Susie replied bluntly. "No, we're not, okay?"

"Umm... Okay..." Luke said, his voice trailing off into an indistinct mumble. "Sorry..."

"Ah- jeez..." Susie said, letting out a heavy sigh before giving Luke a quick hug. "No, I'm sorry, I- ugh. Long story."

"You- you don't have to tell it if you don't want to..." Luke mumbled.

"Seriously," Lucy said. "And I'll talk to idiot here when we get home about not prying!"

"Thanks," Susie whispered. "But I- ugh. Let's just say I- I never really made many friends at school, heh. This... This might be the most people I've ever had at my birthday party. There. I've said it. Can we please watch the match now?"

"Wha- really?" Luke asked, frowning as he was unable to control his tongue. "Someone as cool as you?"

"Ha!" Susie snorted. "You think I'M cool?"

"Well, compared to us you definitely are!" Lucy said, frowning as her new friend just sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, umm, anyway, like you said, time to watch the match, right?"

"Aye, definitely!" Susie said, smiling a smile that the two twins could obviously tell was forced.

Neither of them could quite believe what Susie had said- to them she was quirky, funny and outgoing, an ideal friend for anyone. She was especially ideal for two people who had been so dependent on each other that they'd rarely if ever entertained the idea of having other friends.

All throughout primary and secondary school, Luke and Lucy had had other kids they'd hung out with from time to time, but no one they'd really called friends. They'd always been the loners, the weird twins who had their own thing going on, and that had suited both of them just fine. With Susie, they'd taken a chance- a risk, even. It had never occurred to them that Susie might have taken just as great a risk in befriending them, but as the familiar sound of Mark Knopfler's guitar filled the stadium, Luke glanced over at his new friend and saw the sadness in her eyes, like she was keeping a great secret she didn't dare tell anyone. For the first time, Luke began to wonder whether or not he and his sister had more in common with Susie than either of them had imagined...

The match ended disappointingly for the supporters in the ground, with Newcastle losing one-nil, but the three teenagers still had smiles on their faces as they headed out of the stadium- none wider than that of the birthday girl.

"Thanks for coming today, I had a great time!" Susie enthused as she gave the twins a friendly hug each. "Well, despite the result, heh!"

"Ah, we'll get 'em next time!" Lucy confidently chuckled. "Assuming, you know, you'd want to go with us again?"

"Umm, of course!" Susie giggled. "It was you two that made it fun today, not the football, hehe! Even if SOMEONE looked bored stiff during the match..." Luke frowned as the other two teenagers' eyes turned in his direction.

"...What?" Luke asked defensively. "I'm just not, you know, that into football, that's all..."

"I can confirm this," Lucy said with a giggle, biting her lip as Susie momentarily looked lost in thought, and as her brother looked at her with a frown on his face.

"Meh, whatever, it's not like it's written anywhere that you have to be a football fan to be a boy," Susie chuckled, before sighing as her phone buzzed to inform her of a new text message. "Yep, that's me mam, time to go home, heh."

"Aww," Lucy said with a mock pout, before chuckling. "Ah well, as long as you had fun, right?"

"Aye," Susie replied with a grin. "And I really did, loads, heh! We'll have to, you know, hang out some other time, maybe?"

"Definitely," Luke replied without hesitation, smiling as his sister nodded approvingly. "I mean, you can never have too- umm, too much fun, right?"

"...Right," Susie said as Luke grimaced- he knew that Susie knew what he was originally going to say, the catchphrase of one of the most famous women in the UK. "Are you sure you two don't need a lift home?"

"Nah, dad'll be here in a bit," Lucy replied.

"Think he wants actual proof that I watched the match, heh," Luke chuckled. "But we'll see you on Monday, right?"

"Of course!" Susie giggled, before giving the twins an awkward wave. "Well, umm, thanks for my presents again! See yous on Monday!"

"Bye," Luke and Lucy said simultaneously as they waved their friend goodbye.

"Well, that was fun, I guess," Lucy said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I guess," Luke said. "For a football match anyway, heh."

"Oh, I- I'm sure next time we hang out with Susie we can do something you enjoy," Lucy said. "Even if you'll have to pretend to hate it while I pretend to love it, heh."

"Well..." Luke said, before sighing and frowning.

"...'Well' what?" Lucy asked.

"It- ugh, nah, I don't want to say this," Luke said, before sighing again. "I was going to say 'assuming there is a next time'."

"There's no reason we wouldn't want to hang out with Susie again, is there?" Lucy asked.

"None that I can think of," Luke replied. "I'm just wondering if she'd want to still hang out with us. I mean... For the reason you know why."

"...Aye," Lucy sighed. "I mean, I still remember what mum said on the first day of college, 'no one wants to be friends with the plain-looking loner'. Even fewer would want to be friends with- well, I don't need to tell you, do I?"

"Indeed you do not," Luke said with a long sigh. "I mean, part of me actually thought, you know, if we made more friends, I could forget about- ugh. I even told Dr Adams this and- yeah. Dunno why. But the more I hang out with Susie, the more I feel like I need to, well, change, you know?"

"I kinda thought the same thing, sometimes," Lucy confessed. "But the more I do ANYTHING, the more I want to transition. Hell, if I sit perfectly still on a chair for an hour and don't think about anything, I'll still want to transition more than I did at the start of the hour."

"And the big question is," Luke said, "can we ever trust Susie enough to tell her about this? Can we ever trust ANYONE, not just at college but anywhere else?"

"Well, I dunno about you," Lucy sighed, "but pretty soon I don't think I'm gonna have a choice."

"Me either," Luke sighed. "...Did you- did you believe Susie when she said she, you know, was kinda a loner herself?"

"Meh, maybe," Lucy shrugged. "I mean, I've not seen her hanging out with anyone else at college. Then again, we can hardly talk, heh."

"Aye," Luke said, before sighing as he heard a car horn in the distance. "Dad'll be here soon, if that's not him already."

"Yeah," Lucy whispered, before letting out a long sigh as they headed to the stadium's multi-storey car park where, as they expected, their father was waiting for them.

"Hi you two!" The twins' father said with a grin as Lucy climbed onto the front seat of the car while Luke slid onto the back. "Pity about the result today, but did yous two have fun anyway?"

"Yeah, it was pretty cool," Luke replied.

"Even if you're still not bringing your girlfriend home to meet your parents?" Paul teased, laughing heartily as Luke rolled his eyes. "I know, I know, she's 'not your girlfriend'. You're not fooling anyone, Luke!" If only you knew, the sixteen-year-old boy thought to himself as he and Lucy turned their attention toward their phones.

"How d'you know she's not MY girlfriend?" Lucy asked from the back seat, smirking as her father rolled his eyes.

"Oh, aye, very funny," Paul laughed. "Seriously, Luke, when are we gonna meet her?"

"I dunno, soon, maybe," Luke replied with a shrug.

"...Okay, fine, hint taken," Paul sighed. "Believe it or not, I do just about remember being your age, heh. I know what it's like, wanting more independence, not wanting your folks interfering in every aspect of your life... Just know that if you, you know, want some 'advice', you can talk to me about anything, Luke." If only, the sixteen-year-old boy thought to himself as he and his family made their way back home.

The twins returned to college the following Monday as usual, and with the exception of a recap of the match on Monday lunchtime, no more was said about Susie's birthday, or her 'party', or what the red-haired girl had implied before the start of the match. However, what she'd said continued to linger in the twins' minds, and as the days went on and Christmas grew ever closer, they began to notice that the three of them had become just as isolated from the other students as the two of them had been at secondary school. Luke and Lucy couldn't help but wonder why this might be- and whether or not Susie had more in common with them than they knew...

Eventually, the end of term rolled around, and while the twins were excited about the impending festive season, it was more because of the time they'd get to spend away from college than the actual celebration of Christmas itself. Both Luke and Lucy knew that on the 25th of December, they would both open presents that neither of them wanted. They would be forced to dress in smart clothes that both of them detested- a smart shirt and a tie for Luke, a posh dress, shoes and make-up for Lucy- and would have to sit around listening to their grandparents talk about 'the good old days' for hours on end, the same as they'd done for every year they could remember. However hard they wished, Luke knew he wouldn't come down the stairs on Christmas morning to find dresses, make-up and perfume sets in his presents, while Lucy wouldn't get the football tickets and men's cologne that she wanted. And neither of them were any closer to the diagnosis of gender dysphoria that they both longed to receive...

What neither twin knew, however, was that two days before Christmas, they would get a present that would turn out to be far greater than any dress or football ticket.

"Okay, that's one term done!" Susie chuckled as she and the twins headed out of their college on the afternoon of the 22nd of December. "You two got much planned for the holiday?"

"Nope," Lucy replied with a sigh. "Same old shit we usually do."

"Specifically, Christmas dinner with our mega old-fashioned grandparents," Luke sighed.

"Meh, count yourself lucky," Susie shrugged. "I don't have any living grandparents, not anymore."

"Ah- sorry," Luke grimaced. "I kinda assumed- heh, I don't know WHAT I assumed. But, you know, we still hardly know anything about you..."

"Meh, I've never liked, you know, opening up..." Susie shrugged. "Will you two- will you two, you know, be free during the holiday? Or do you, like, go away to spend the holiday with your grandparents?"

"No, just Christmas Day," Luke replied.

"And they live here in Newcastle," Lucy clarified. "Well, our grandparents on our dad's side do, anyway, our grandparents on our mam's side live in Spain so I kinda wish we'd go to see them one year, heh!"

"Hell, I would, and I burn to a crisp if I'm in the sun for, like, five seconds!" Susie chuckled. "But I meant, like, are there any free days when I can, you know... Come over? Just to, like, hang out? Watch TV, listen to music, you know?"

"Umm, if you want," Lucy mumbled.

"...Well THAT sounded enthusiastic," Susie snorted.

"Ugh- no, Susie, we don't mean it like THAT," Luke sighed. "We- we'd love it if you came over, it's just- our dad has kinda got it into his head that- umm, that you- you're my girlfriend."

"Ah," Susie said, before grimacing. "You- you don't think that too, do you?"

"Umm... I'm not sure what the right answer here actually is..." Luke mumbled, before smiling embarrassedly as his friend giggled.

"That was- that was probably it," Susie replied with a chuckle. "And it won't, you know, kill me to pretend for a few hours, hehe!"

"Heh," Luke chuckled. "So, umm, when do you- when do you want to come over?"

"How about tomorrow?" Susie replied with a shrug.

"Umm... we'd have to clear it with our parents first, but sure," Lucy replied. "I'll text you to let you know, okay?"

"Cool!" Susie giggled. "It's been ages since I... Umm, never mind, heh. See you tomorrow!"

"Yep, fingers crossed!" Luke said, before sighing as their friend walked away.

"...Are you sure about this?" Lucy asked. "You know what dad's gonna say, right?"

"Yeah, I know EVERYTHING he's gonna say," Luke sighed. "But I figure, you know, he may as well meet Susie now rather than later, get it out of the way..."

"I guess," Lucy shrugged.

"And maybe if he, you know, sees that me and Susie aren't- well, aren't a thing, he'll stop going on about it," Luke mused.

"Well, that's definitely true," Lucy said, before letting out a tired chuckle. "Guess I'd better hide 'you know what' in case she comes into our bedroom, heh."

"Yep," Luke sighed as he thought about the three pairs of tights that were still securely hidden at the bottom of his wardrobe- and that he still held in his hands on a near daily basis to try to stave off the feelings of stress that were a constant part of his life. However, Luke's efforts were in vain, as even on the rare occasions that he dared to slip the tights on his legs, he knew he'd have to take them off mere seconds later. Luke tried his hardest to look forward to the 'playdate' the following day, but deep down, he knew it would almost certainly end up being something that had to be endured, rather than enjoyed.

The twins were up early the following morning and had only just finished breakfast when a knock came from their front door. Instinctively, they rose from their seats to greet their friend, only to grimace when their father jumped to his feet first.

"You two wait there," Paul commanded. "I'll let her in." Luke and Lucy both grimaced and fidgeted as they waited for what seemed like an eternity, but was in actuality just a few seconds, before their father returned with their new friend in tow.

"Hi guys!" Susie said with a nervous grin as she stood in the middle of the living room, fidgeting awkwardly while Paul sat back down.

"Hi," Luke replied with a grin.

"...Oh aye, romance ain't dead, is it?" Paul snorted, before chuckling. "Hint taken, I'll get out of ya way."

"Thanks," Luke said, before sighing and standing up. "Hi Susie. Sorry about that."

"Nah, your dad's okay," Susie shrugged. "So, umm, what d'you two want to do? 'Cause, like, it's freezing outside..."

"We can listen to music in my room if you'd like?" Lucy replied with a shrug, smiling as her new friend nodded.

"Lead the way!" Susie chuckled, but as Luke instinctively went to follow the two girls, a subtle cough from his father stopped him in his tracks.

"Luke, got a sec?" Paul asked, and Luke could immediately tell from the way he said it that it was not intended as a question.

"Umm, okay," Luke replied.

"Look, I know it's embarrassing to have your dad comment on your girlfriends," Paul said in a quiet, almost gentle voice. "But even after ten seconds I can tell that Susie's a decent girl, and-"

"Dad, we HAVE had 'the talk'," Luke interrupted, trying not to shudder at the memory of when he was thirteen.

"Well- yes," Paul said. "But what I'm trying to say is- well, have fun, but be careful, you know?"

"Umm, I think," Luke replied, before forcing a smile on his face as his father gave him a firm pat on the shoulder.

"Good lad," Paul chuckled. "But most importantly, HAVE FUN. Heh, you know- and I don't mean anything by this, I'm just saying, but- but your mum and I have wondered before whether or not you were, you know, a bit- umm..."

"Gay?" Luke asked, trying not to fidget nervously.

"Well- aye," Paul said, before chuckling again. "But thank god we now know you're not, eh?"

"...Yeah," Luke said, before smiling as he heard the familiar strains of Out of Heaven come from the room above them.

"...Yeah, alright, up you go," Paul said with a grin. "Don't want to let your sister hog your girlfriend, heh. Though you ARE lucky that they get along so well."

"Yeah," Luke said. "Umm, thanks, dad."

"You're welcome," Paul chuckled. "Now remember- Have. Fun!"

"Will do," Luke said, smiling as he was finally able to leave the living room and head up the stairs. However, he was totally unprepared for the sight that greeted him when he opened his sister's bedroom door.

While Paul and Luke were speaking, Lucy and Susie made their way up to the former's bedroom, where Susie sat down on the bed cross-legged while Lucy tidied up some of the mess on her floor.

"Ugh, sorry about this," Lucy sighed as she hastily bundled away some of the clothes and left-over wrapping paper that littered her room. "Meant to tidy up yesterday, but- heh. Kinda thought we were gonna hang out in Luke's room, you know? He's- well, he's a lot tidier than me, heh."

"Meh, my room's no cleaner," Susie shrugged. "I kinda take more care when putting away my clothes though, heh!"

"...Yeah," Lucy mumbled, trying not to grimace at the feel of the soft fabric of the bras and t-shirts in her hand. If it had been a football shirt or a pair of jeans, Lucy would've taken a lot more care with them. "Anyway, bit hectic, you know, Christmas and all that, heh."

"Well, yep," Susie chuckled. "Kinda lucky in a way I only have my mum to buy for, heh."

"Yeah," Lucy whispered, before clicking on her iPod and filling the room with music. "Umm, if you don't mind me asking- I mean, umm, you told us about your grandparents yesterday, but-"

"Do I see my dad?" Susie asked, smiling as Lucy blushed and nodded. "Not really, not anymore. He moved away when I was twelve, and- yep. I can't even remember a time when he lived with us, so- yeah. Don't consider him a big loss. And god knows- ugh, never mind."

"No, go on," Lucy said. "Umm, if you want to, I mean..."

"...Ugh, you'll find out sooner or later," Susie sighed as she began to tremble with nerves. "I mean, there are some kids from my school at our college, and I'm surprised they haven't told you yet, but- yeah."

"Don't- you don't have to-" Lucy stammered.

"Nah, no point hiding it," Susie sighed. "And better you hear it from me, I guess. I- ugh. There's no real way to say this gently, but I- I'm pansexual."

"...Umm, okay?" Lucy asked, biting her lip as an awkward pause came between the two of them. "Umm... And?"

"Wh- what, seriously?" Susie asked with a frown. "I mean, I appreciated not getting kicked out of the window, but- ugh. When I was thirteen, and at school, I- I kissed another girl. And was found out. And that was it. Life over, at least as far as school went, anyway."

"Why- why should I care if you're not, you know, 100% straight?" Lucy asked.

"...Yeah, I don't know why," Susie chuckled, "but when I first met you, I thought- I thought there was something, you know, 'not caveman' about you, heh."

"Yeah," Lucy whispered, before biting her lip and sitting down next to the ginger haired girl, taking a deep breath and leaning in closer to her, closing her eyes as their lips met...

"Oh- shit, umm, sorry," Luke stammered, his cheeks reddening as he stood in the suddenly open bedroom door.

"Oh, umm, Luke, hi!" Lucy said, gripping her duvet hard to try to stave off feelings of sheer panic. "Umm, Susie and I, we were- umm, we-"

"It- it's okay, I can, you know, go away..." Luke mumbled.

"No- ugh, no, you may as well know too," Susie sighed. "I mean, you two do, like, EVERYTHING together, so- heh. I mean, you probably figured it out already, like?"

"You- you're gay?" Luke asked, his pulse suddenly racing.

"Well- well, pansexual," Susie explained. "But, you know... Kinda gay? I mean, what does it matter what gender someone is, right? If you fancy someone, why let that stop you? Just because it's 'normal' to only fancy people of the opposite gender? Pfft, whatever, right?"

"I couldn't agree more," Luke said breathlessly. "So, like are- are you two now going out, then? 'Cause you know what mum and dad will say-"

"I- ugh, I dunno," Lucy sighed. "I mean, it was literally one kiss for one second, and then you came in, and-"

"Hint taken," Luke sighed, turning to leave the room only for Lucy to reach out her arm and stop him.

"You're not going anywhere," Lucy said firmly. "Because..." Lucy took a deep breath to steel herself as she felt her entire body fill with nerves.

Susie had entrusted her with what was obviously a very personal revelation, and for the first time ever, Lucy felt empowered. Sure, she and Luke had spoken to Dr Adams about their gender identity issued, but he was professionally obliged to maintain his silence, while Susie wasn't. And yet, Lucy felt like she could begin to trust the ginger haired girl. She just needed to be 100% sure first...

"...Susie," Lucy asked nervously. "You said- you said it shouldn't matter what gender a person is, right?"

"Aye," Susie replied with a shrug. "Why?"

"What about gender identity?" Lucy asked.

"Well- well we've got Out of Heaven playing in here, that should answer that question, shouldn't it?" Susie replied with a chuckle. "Why do you ask."

"Because..." Lucy said, taking a deep breath and squirming where she sat. It's now or never, Lucy thought as she briefly looked into her brother's eyes, both for support, and to let him know that what she was about to do was as much for him as it was for her. "When we kissed, I- I didn't consider it, you know, a 'gay' thing. Because I- I've never really felt like I was a girl. Not really. Deep down, I- I've always thought that I was a boy. Should be a boy, I mean. What I'm trying to say, is- ugh."

"We- we're transgender," Luke said, sitting down next to his sister and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Deep down, I've never really felt like a 'boy' either, I- I always wanted to be a girl."

"Wh- are you two- are you two serious?" Susie asked, making the twins tense up and hesitantly nod. "Because if you are, then, well, you- you might be the coolest people I've ever met, heh."

"Wh- really?" Lucy asked.

"Aye, why wouldn't I?" Susie replied. "So, like, you- you've both always felt like this?"

"For as long as we can remember," Luke replied.

"...Okay, seriously, I knew there was something about you," Susie said with a smile. "And before you say anything, yes, you can trust me to keep your secret, heh!"

"Th- thanks," Lucy said, smiling as she felt both her and her brother's body decompress.

For the first time in a very long time, the twins could see light at the end of what had been a very long tunnel. They'd taken a chance in trusting Susie, and it had paid off, which made both Luke and Lucy wonder- if they could open up to their friend, maybe one day, they'd be able to open up to the whole world...

Even though the twins didn’t see Susie again for the rest of the Christmas holidays, they remained on a high until their return to college at the start of January. Having a genuine friend, someone in whom they could confide opened up new possibilities for Luke and Lucy, possibilities that both were eager to explore, but with caution- caution that was validated when the twins went to their counsellor for their first meeting of 2018.

“…Well, I’m glad to hear that you’ve both had a good Christmas,” Dr Adams said to the twins. “And it’s encouraging to hear that you’re making new friends as well, but I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that you will still need to be careful going forward.”

“Well- aye, that’s true,” Luke sighed. “But it’s, you know, progress, right?”

“Oh, definitely,” Dr Adams replied with a warm smile. “When you say ‘progress’, I assume that means that your long-term goals are still to transition, right?” Luke and Lucy both paused as they considered their answer. For years, they’d fantasised about what it would be like to live their live- not just experience life, but truly live it as the opposite gender. Even though they were seeing Dr Adams with their stated goal being to actually transition, neither Luke nor Lucy genuinely believed that goal was attainable and that it would always remain a fantasy. For months, it had seemed to the twins that they were travelling in the wrong direction, but suddenly they were undeniably back on track. And while this made them nervous, they were also excited about the possibilities that lay ahead of them.

“…Yes,” Lucy eventually replied.

“Definitely,” Luke said in a firm voice. “Some days, it- it’s all I can think about.”

“Have you told your new friend this?” Dr Adams asked.

“Yes,” Luke whispered. “And she- she has offered to help in any way she can, but- heh. I’m not sure what help she can actually give, you know?”

“Well, for now, she’s another pair of ears, another shoulder you can lean on for support,” Dr Adams said. “I will always be here when you need me, but it’s important to start building up a network of friends, a support network to help you come out further. Of course, you’ll always have each other, but as time goes by you will find it helpful to have a framework of friends who aren’t- well, who aren’t in the ‘same position as you’.”

“Yeah,” Luke said with a nod.

“Is there anything else that happened over Christmas that you’d like to discuss?” Dr Adams asked, causing Lucy to fidget in her seat as she briefly looked into her brother’s eyes for support.

“…No,” the sixteen-year-old girl eventually replied, though she knew that her counsellor could instantly tell she wasn’t being truthful.

“…Okay,” Dr Adams said hesitantly. “We’ll move on, then. Do you both have your diaries with you?”

“Yep,” Luke replied for the pair of them before handing over the journals that they’d both been keeping, journals that detailed their feelings of depression and dysphoria, and of events that triggered feelings of stress and anxiety. However, Luke also knew that there was something Lucy wasn’t telling her counsellor- the same thing that she omitted from her journal, which she could only discuss with one other person.

The following day, the twins returned to college. Despite the hard work ahead of them, it actually came as a relief for Luke and Lucy to be back in their familiar environment, especially when they were greeted by their newest friend.

“Hey you two!” Susie said with a giggle as she approached the twins. “Did you have a good new year, then?”

“Yeah, wasn’t bad, thanks,” Luke replied, before fidgeting uncomfortably as he saw the awkward look shared by the two girls. “…Okay, this time I AM going to let you two talk privately, heh.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Susie mumbled, before silently leading Lucy to the nearby toilet block. After checking that they were alone, the ginger haired girl took a deep breath before letting out a long sigh.

“…So, then,” Lucy mumbled.

“Yeah,” Susie grimaced. “About that- about that kiss, umm, I-“

“I-“ Lucy interrupted, before grimacing. “I just- ugh, I dunno.”

“Do- do you, you know, like me?” Susie asked hesitantly.

“…A little, maybe,” Lucy mumbled, before sighing again. “Look, Suse, I’ve- I’ve never really, you know, actually kissed anyone before, and I- ugh. Like I said, I dunno. Do- did you, umm, did you, you know, like it?”

“…A little,” Susie mumbled. “Do- do you want to be, you know, girlfriends?” Lucy frowned as Susie grimaced, realising what she’d said too late to prevent the words from leaving her mouth.

“I don’t want to be anyone’s ‘girl’friend at all,” Lucy sighed as she double checked that she and Susie were alone. “Hell, I- I felt a little sick inside just coming in here, to the girls’ toilets, you know?”

“Yeah, sorry, sorry,” Susie sighed. “Guess I’m really going to have to watch what I say, huh?”

“Well- I don’t want you, you know, walking on eggshells around us,” Lucy replied. “I mean, we know you don't mean anything, like, nasty by it, but we- we just, you know, want to be us. On our terms.”

“Well- I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I argued with that,” Susie chuckled.

“Yeah,” Lucy whispered. “So, umm, do- do you, you know, want to- want to be my, you know, girlfriend?”

“I- I’m not really a ‘girlfriend’ person,” Susie replied with a grimace. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I find you attractive, Luke too, in a kind-of, you know, shy way, but- but I’m just not into, you know, relationships… If you want to, you know, have some ‘fun’, then, you know, that could be cool?”

“Umm, well, I- I’ll think about it,” Lucy chuckled. “Though- heh, don’t tell anyone, but- but I wouldn’t make Luke the same offer, heh.”

“Gotcha,” Susie said with a wink, before sighing sadly. “You know, I- I kinda wish there was more I could do for him, you know? I mean, we can chat privately like this, and I guess you and him obviously can, but I can’t so much as look at him without your dad and my mum planning our wedding, heh.”

“I know what you mean,” Lucy sighed. “And it’s not like he’s gonna make any friends here who’ll be as well, cool as you are, and- heh. It doesn’t help that I keep thinking of ‘him’ as ‘him’. He’s no more ‘him’ than I am ‘her’.”

“Yeah,” Susie mused. “And, well, in a way it’s almost easier for you than for hi- than for your twin.”

“Nice catch,” Lucy said with a smirk. “I’d love to know in what way my twin has it harder than me, though.”

“Well, you show up here in jeans and no make-up and no one’s gonna look twice,” Susie retorted. “If Luke puts on even a scrap of make-up, or a skirt, or anything feminine, he- well, he’ll end up like I did at school.”

“Well- yeah, I suppose there is THAT,” Lucy grumbled. “Though I mean, you know, having to sit down to take a piss doesn’t seem like THAT much of a hardship, it’s basically reminding me every time that, well…”

“There- there’s ‘something missing’?” Susie asked.

“Basically,” Lucy sighed. “Ugh, we- we’d better get to class, don’t want to be late first day back, heh.”

“Yeah,” Susie said, before pausing and grinning.

“…Suse?” Lucy asked. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” Susie replied. “Oh, umm, yeah, I just- I just had an idea, that’s all.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Lucy said with a sigh as the two girls headed to their class.

Over the next few weeks, the twins slowly settled into a new routine. They would attend college throughout the week, they would see their counsellor on Tuesdays, and they’d hang out with Susie at the weekend, usually in Newcastle city centre but occasionally at the twins’ house. On those occasions, Luke had to endure yet more teasing and occasional unwanted and unsolicited ‘advice’ from his father, but as Valentines’ Day passed and it was clear that Luke and Susie had no plans with each other, Paul slowly began to realise that his assumptions about the two teenagers had indeed been incorrect. However, this didn’t prevent the middle-aged man from giving his son yet more unwanted ‘advice’, which included repeated urges to make a move on Susie before it was 'too late'. Unbeknownst to Paul, or even Lucy, Luke had spoken with Susie about the 'offer' that the ginger girl had implicitly made, and both had quickly come to the agreement that the 'offer' would never been taken up. However, both Luke and Susie enjoyed talking with each other, and while Susie was happy to chat with Luke anytime they wanted (and she agreed with Lucy that of the twins, Luke was by far the more feminine), she still wished that there was more she could do for him. Especially as the twins had yet to make any other friends they could rely on.

Eventually, the twins’ seventeenth birthday came around, and it came almost as a relief to them that it fell on a weekday. However, their parents were still determined to make a fuss of them, as was demonstrated when they descended the stairs on that special Thursday morning.

“Happy birthday, you two!” Sarah said, greeting both of her children with a hug that the twins reluctantly reciprocated en route to the sofa, which had been piled high with presents. As with most years, it wasn’t hard to tell whose presents were whose. Lucy quickly deduced that the presents wrapped in pink and silver paper were hers, while the ones in dark blue paper were Luke’s- and, as always, she was right.

“Wow, thanks for all this!” Luke said with forced enthusiasm while Lucy tried her hardest not to sulk.

“You can open one present now,” Paul said. “Just one, the rest’ll still be here when you get back from college.”

“Umm, okay,” Luke said, exchanging a quick glance with his sister that said ‘this is going to suck’ before picking a present out of the pile. Rather than open any presents that were obviously clothes, which Luke knew would disappoint him, he instead picked up a small carefully wrapped box, reasoning that whatever was inside would at least likely be gender neutral. However, Luke had mentally prepared himself anyway for the disappointment he received when he opened the gift to reveal a new electric razor.

“You like it?” Paul asked. “It’s the same model as mine, now that you’re shaving regularly, I figured you’d want something to make it a little easier, heh!”

“Yeah, thanks dad!” Luke said with forced enthusiasm, even as he felt his insides start to churn.

It wasn’t that Luke enjoyed having facial hair, quite the opposite, but he hated shaving just as much as he hated growing the hair in the first place. Every time he shaved, it acted as a reminder that unless he took action to change things, this would be him for the rest of his life. As Luke silently pondered whether or not the razor would work on his wispy leg hair, his eyes passed over the photograph of the male model on the front of the box. While the model was unquestionably objectively attractive, Luke felt nothing as he stared at the image, such was his growing contempt for the male gender. Nonetheless, he forced a smile on his face anyway as he carefully repacked the box and placed it on the sofa next to him.

“This is great, thanks!” Luke said, while Lucy grimaced as she realised it was her turn. Rather than take a present she felt would be 'neutral', as Luke did, Lucy opted to open a present she was certain she wouldn’t like first, in order to get it out of the way as quickly as possible. She reached for a brightly-coloured package that she could immediately tell contained an item of clothing, and as she tore open the wrapping paper, she imagined revealing a new football shirt, or a pair of jeans, or even a plain sweater… Anything other than the sparkly knee-length party dress that was actually contained within the paper.

“I know you’ve got a bit of a tomboy phase going on right now,” Sarah explained as Lucy examined the dress, trying her hardest not to feel disgusted by it. “But that won’t last forever, and that’s a dress you’ll be able to wear anywhere.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with forced enthusiasm as her palms begin to sweat. “Thanks, mum!”

“You’re very welcome!” Sarah replied, oblivious to her child’s distress. “Now like we said, you can open the rest once you’re back from college, before your grandparents arrive.”

“G- grandma and grandpa are coming round?” Luke asked, his own stress levels starting to increase.

“Well, it’s your birthday, why wouldn’t they?” Paul replied. “I know you’d rather hang out with your friends- well, friend… But it’s just one night and they ARE your grandparents.”

“And think of it this way,” Sarah said, “you’ll be able to wear your new dress!”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a forced smile. “Great…”

Neither of the twins had smiles on their faces when they arrived at college later that morning, and even the arrival of their best friend did nothing to lift their spirits.

“Hey, happy birthday you two!” Susie giggled, before sighing sadly as she saw the looks on her friends’ faces. “That bad, eh?”

“Could’ve been worse,” Luke sighed. “Will be worse, later tonight, anyway.”

“Don’t tell me- your grandparents are coming round?” Susie asked, smiling sympathetically as the twins both nodded. “Say no more, heh. I have actually got some presents for you, but I- I think I’ll save them until Saturday, if you don’t mind?”

“Oh- no, we don’t mind at all,” Lucy said. “We’re just grateful you got anything for us at all, heh.”

“What, seriously?” Susie chuckled. “After how you spoiled me on my birthday?”

“We chucked a load of stuff in a box, hardly ‘spoiled’,” Luke retorted with a snort of laughter.

“Meh, it still meant a lot to me,” Susie said with a shrug. “I just hope, you know, I can return the favour, heh!”

“Get us out of tonight and we’ll consider that favour returned!” Lucy said with a sigh as the three of them headed toward class.

That afternoon, after the twins had returned from college, they headed up to their bedrooms to prepare themselves for the evening ahead- not just physically, but mentally as well. Luke sighed as he changed out of his tracksuit bottoms and hoodie and stared at the smart trousers, shirt and tie that had been laid out for him. Before he dressed, however, he gazed at the new electric razor on his nightstand, which his father had ‘thoughtfully’ plugged in to charge after he’d left for college. With a sigh, Luke took his ‘gift’ into the bathroom and switched it on, carefully moving the razor over his stubble-covered cheeks just as he had done countless times with his ordinary razor. When he was finished mere minutes later, he gazed at his face in the mirror- it was smooth and free of hair, but still very clearly the face of a boy- a young man, even. However, Luke let out a small smirk as he gazed down at the fine, wispy hairs covering his legs. After ensuring that he was alone, and that no one was going to interrupt him, he gently ran the razor over a small patch of his calf, wincing as the razor pulled at some of the longer hairs. When Luke had finished, he gently stroked the patch of smooth, hairless skin that had been left behind, sighing happily as he imagined his whole legs being hairless, or covered with a thin pair of tights…

Luke let out another sigh, this time one of sadness as he cleaned the hair out of his new razor and returned to his bedroom to change into his smart clothes. As miserable as Luke felt, though, he knew he'd got off lightly when he exited his bedroom and saw his sister stood in her new dress, with thick black tights covering her legs, smart shoes on her feet and a light layer of make-up on her face.

“Not a word, Luke,” Lucy growled. “Not. One. Fucking. Word!”

“Wh- really?” Luke retorted. “You think I of all people was going to say something?”

“Just- just don’t, Luke,” Lucy sighed. “I don’t want to hear ANYTHING, I just- I just want to get through tonight, then we can forget all about this shit.”

“Okay,” Luke whispered, trying to stealthily glance at the dress as they made their way to the stairs, only to grimace when Lucy stopped after 2 steps and glared angrily at him.

“What?” Lucy snapped, fury boiling over behind her eyes.

“I- umm, I was just-“ Luke mumbled, before sighing. “I was just wondering how well the dress would, you know, fit me…” Luke stared at the floor and tried not to cry as his cheeks burned, before flinching as his sister gave him a gentle hug.

“Ugh, Luke, I- I’m sorry,” Lucy sighed. “I know this is probably as hard for you as it is for me, heh. And I- I doubt the dress would fit you anyway, heh.”

“Probably not,” Luke mumbled. “Ugh, let- let’s get this over with, like you said.”

“Yeah,” Lucy replied, giving her brother’s hand a gentle squeeze for support before leading him down to the living room, where their parents and grandparents were both waiting for them.

“Wow, don’t you two look grown-up?” The twins’ grandmother gushed as Luke and Lucy stood before them, feelings like soldiers being inspected. “I can remember just a few years ago when you were knee high to a grasshopper!” The twins tried not to fidget as they glanced over at their grandfather, who was clearly thinking about the same birthday that they were, when they came down the same flight of stairs wearing the clothes they actually wanted to.

“Th- thanks,” Luke mumbled.

“Aye, yas just stan’ there and make us feel even older!” The twins’ grandfather said with an obviously forced chuckle. “Year from now I’ll have two adult grandchildren, heh!”

“It’s no’ any easier for us!” Paul chuckled. “Eighteen months from now they’ll have flown the nest, off to university and then god knows where, heh!”

“Well, enjoy it while it lasts,” Eileen said with a grin. “And you two make sure to enjoy it too! You’re already more than halfway through your teens, before you know it all this time will have flown by, and you’ll be in your twenties and up to your ears in bills!” Luke and Lucy glanced at each other as their grandmother spoke, both thinking the same thing- that in their current bodies, time was more likely to drag than to fly by- though not nearly as much as the evening would.

A short while later, the family were sat around Derek and Eileen’s dining room table, tucking into the fancy dinner that Eileen had prepared and, in the case of the twins at least, trying to hide their extreme feelings of stress.

“Go on, tuck in!” Eileen urged her reluctant-looking grandchildren. “You deserve a special treat on a big day like this!” Luke and Lucy both forced smiles on their faces as they stared down at the roast dinner, complete with Yorkshire puddings, vegetables, gravy and a small mountain of mashed potato, before slowly forcing it into their mouths. Lucy flinched as she felt her stomach grumble with every forkful she swallowed- a feeling not helped by the way her dress clung to her body, constricting her like a python.

“Aye, it might no’ seem as big as tha’ sixteenth or eighteenth, but it’s still worth celebratin’!” Derek said with a proud chuckle. “So, son, when ya gonna teach Luke ta drive?”

“Umm… If I ever get the time!” Paul replied with a chuckle. “Need to get them their provisional licenses first, we’ll be sending off for them next week though, don’t worry!”

“Though we were thinking of getting them both driving lessons in the summer, kind-of as late birthday presents,” Sarah interjected.

“Why’d you do that?” Derek snorted. “Ya can teach ya own son to dive, just like I taught you and my dad taught me!”

“Well- yeah, but I do work full-time,” Paul retorted.

“So?” Derek snorted. “I taught ya on weekends, teach Luke on weekends!”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have two kids to teach,” Paul reminded his father, who simply shrugged in reply.

“So?” Derek said again. “Sarah can teach Lucy, what’s important is that you’re the one to teach your son to drive!” As she listened to her parents and grandparents argue, Lucy felt her stomach churn more and more. She desperately wanted to not just call the old man out on his blatant misogyny, but also tell him and everyone else that in actuality, she WAS her father’s son. She wanted to have her father teach her how to drive, or how to shave, or even how to fish. She wanted the father-son relationship that Luke had long since lost interest in. But most of all, she just wished to no longer be invisible.

“Please- please may I be excused?” Lucy asked, internally screaming at the meekness of her voice.

“Not until you’ve cleaned your plate!” Eileen replied, unknowingly making her granddaughter scream internally as she forced yet another forkful of food down her increasingly narrow throat.

As Lucy struggled with her meal, Luke also felt himself grow increasingly tense. Like Lucy, he wanted to learn how to drive and would be perfectly happy to have his father teach him, were it not for what his grandfather was implying. Derek clearly expected that at some point in the future, Luke would have children of his own, specifically, a son who he would teach how to drive, or how to shave, and with whom he would have to have ‘the talk’… Luke let out an involuntary shudder at the thought, which thankfully didn’t get picked up by the rest of his family- with the exception of his sister, who smiled sympathetically at him even as her own stomach heaved.

“Well, we’ve got time to think about it, anyway,” Paul said, hoping to defuse the situation. “What’s most important is that the two of them enjoy their birthday.”

“Well- aye, I can’t argue with tha’!” Derek chuckled. “Have yas got any plans for tha’ weekend?”

“Umm… Not really,” Luke replied. “Probably just hanging out with Susie, that’s all.”

“Oh?” Derek replied with a wide grin on his face. “Don’t tell me yas finally got yas self a girlfriend?”

“She’s more ‘girl who is a friend’,” Sarah said before Luke had a chance to reply. “She’s Lucy’s friend more than Luke’s.”

“Ah, why’d ya want ta hang out with her instead of a girlfriend or a real friend?” Derek chastised his grandson, who felt himself shrink further into her chair, though not before internally groaning as he instinctively knew that when his grandfather said ‘real friend’, he of course meant ‘male friend’.

“Susie’s fun, that’s all,” Luke mumbled, his cheeks reddening as his grandfather let out a derisive snort.

“Ah, what does it matter who they hang out with?” Paul asked in defence of his child.

“I don’t recall you having any female friends when you were Luke’s age,” Eileen retorted.

“Well- no, no I didn’t,” Paul conceded. “But that was, like, thirty years ago. Times have changed.”

“Too much,” Derek grumbled as the family continued to silently eat their meal, Lucy struggling more and more with every mouthful she swallowed.

Eventually, the family finished their meal, and despite the twins’ desperation to return home and change out of their uncomfortable clothes, their grandparents insisted that they stay for their final 'treat'- a very rich chocolate cake that Eileen had baked that day. As the slice of cake was placed in front of her, Lucy felt two things- anger that her slice wasn't as big as Luke's, but also relief that it wasn't as big as she felt her stomach tie itself into a knot. Even though ordinarily, she loved cake, the mere smell of it, the mere thought of it just made her feel more ill. Every second she spent in her dress and shoes, every second spent with make-up on her face was a second she felt like tearing her own skin off. It was her birthday, and yet she felt like she was being punished. Being made to wear clothes she hated, spend time with grandparents who refused to understand her, force food down to her stomach that just made her feel sick- all of it was torture to Lucy. And the icing on the cake was, in a very literal sense, the icing on the cake. Defiantly, Lucy dug into the cake with her fork and shoved the cake down her throat, almost relishing in the feelings of pain and nausea that washed over her with every bite.

“Delicious, thanks,” the seventeen-year-old girl said, trying her hardest not to retch with every word she said.

Mercifully for the twins, they left the house a short while later, and it required all of Lucy’s willpower to keep her meal down on the car ride home- something that didn’t go unnoticed by her brother. When they reached their home, Lucy wasted no time in discarding her shoes and running up the stairs to the bathroom, with Luke following behind her every step of the way.

“L- Lucy?” The teenaged boy asked as his sister slammed the bathroom door behind her. “Are you alri-“ Luke’s question was answered when a loud retch and the unmistakable sound of liquid hitting liquid came from the other side of the door. “…Lucy?”

“Go away,” Lucy weakly moaned.

“Lucy, please, can I- can I come in?” Luke said softly, smiling sympathetically as his sister opened the door. Luke could immediately tell just how unwell Lucy was- her face and body were drenched in sweat, staining her dress and her tights, her hair was matted and her mascara had run down her face from the tears she’d shed. Instinctively, Luke opened his arms for a hug, and sighed sadly as Lucy leaned into him.

“Luke, I- I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t,” Lucy wailed, her entire body tensing up at the undignified, unmanly way she blubbered.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Luke said soothingly.

“Yeah, but it isn’t though, is it?” Lucy snapped. “If something doesn’t change, this’ll be me for the rest of my life. And if it doesn’t change, I- I don’t know how much longer the rest of my life will be.”

“Well- well please, please don’t say THAT,” Luke said, biting his lip cautiously. “We’ll talk to Dr Adams, I’m sure she can do-“

“Nothing,” Lucy interrupted. “She can’t do ANYTHING, not until we tell mam and dad, that’s what she said, remember? And we can’t tell them, ‘cause then they’d tell grandma and grandpa. So that leaves me stuck at square one, in this stupid body and this stupid fucking dress!”

“You- you know that no matter what, we’ll be together, right?” Luke asked. “The second you come out to them, I’ll come out too, no matter the consequences. Believe me when I say that I want this change just as much as you do.”

“Yeah, well I don’t see you throwing up, do I?” Lucy snapped as she pushed past her brother and shut herself in her bedroom. Luke felt himself cringe under his sister’s angry glare as he was forced to concede that she had a point- outwardly, at least, he wasn’t anywhere near as unwell as his sister was. Inwardly, though, all he’d wanted to do all evening was to be in his sister’s clothes, her skin, even. To strip away the layers of manliness that his father and grandfather had piled on him over the years and to be the perfect girl that he always wanted to be. Whether or not she liked it, or even acknowledged it, their parents and grandparents were much gentler, much kinder with her than they were with Luke. They never pressured her into playing football, into getting dirty, into getting a girlfriend- into 'becoming a man'. It was all that occupied his mind, every second of every day, and with every day that passed, it only seemed to get worse… And yet, as Lucy correctly pointed out, he wasn’t throwing up because of it.

“Luke?” Paul asked as he climbed the stairs, snapping his son out of his reverie. “Is everything okay up here? I thought I heard shouting?”

“Ah- yeah,” Luke grimaced. “Lucy, she- she’s not feeling well, she’s been sick, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Paul said, a look of concern spreading across his face. “Sarah? Can you come up here, please?” Any reason why you can’t check in on your own daughter? Luke thought to himself as he tried not to sneer.

“What’s up?” The twins’ mother asked as she bounded up the stairs.

“Lucy’s feeling a little bit poorly,” Paul replied, making Luke stealthily roll his eyes. “Luke says she’s been sick.”

“Aye, okay, I’ll go in and check on her,” Sarah said softly, before gently knocking on her daughter’s bedroom door and letting herself into the room.

“You’d better get ready for bed too,” Paul advised his son. “Still got college tomorrow, heh!”

“Y- yeah,” Luke said, before sighing and heading to his bedroom to finally get out of his smart clothes. Meanwhile, in her room, Lucy groaned as she felt her mother sit down on the end of her bed, readying herself to offer advice that Lucy had absolutely no interest in hearing.

“Hey, birthday girl,” Sarah said softly, not noticing as Lucy tensed up at her use of the word ‘girl’. “You feeling a bit under the weather?”

“Mmph,” Lucy grunted into her pillow.

“I know it’s probably not how you wanted to spend your birthday,” Sarah consoled her daughter. “But- as much as I hate to say it- your grandparents won’t be around forever, and you will miss them when they’re gone.” I doubt it, Lucy angrily thought to herself.

“…Yeah,” the teenage girl half-heartedly mumbled.

“And you didn’t do yourself any favours with how fast you wolfed down that cake!” Sarah chuckled, sighing as she failed to get a response from her daughter. “Get yourself an early night, if you’re still feeling ill tomorrow I’ll call into college for you.”

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, before sighing as her mother gently stroked her hair, bringing back memories of when she was younger, when her mother would brush her long hair every morning. Back then, Lucy had enjoyed spending the time with her mother- but as time went on, she began to look back on those memories with resentment, as it was just another way her parents were turning her into the girl she desperately didn't want to be.

The following morning, Lucy was still in bed when Luke got up, and had yet to stir when he left the house. As he travelled to college, Luke couldn’t escape the feeling of guilt that had plagued him since the previous night. Lucy’s dysphoria had grown so bad that it caused her to be physically ill, while he was heading into college feeling none the worse for wear after their ‘birthday party’. Sure, he couldn’t escape the desire to completely abandon his masculinity and be just like the other girls heading into college with their skirts, their make-up, their hair and everything else wonderfully feminine, but for the first time in ages, he began to question whether or not he truly NEEDED to be like them- or whether his feelings were nothing more than just a silly whim…

“Hi Luke!” Susie said, snapping the young man out of his fantasies. “Flying solo today, then?”

“Umm, yeah, Lucy’s not feeling well,” Luke replied, biting his lip as his friend smiled sympathetically, instinctively knowing the reason why.

“I saw the photos on Facebook,” Susie whispered. “That can’t have been easy for you, last night.”

“Yeah, well, it was harder for her,” Luke sighed. “I shouldn’t really complain when I got off easy compared to her.”

“Well- but was it still hard for you, though?” Susie asked, smiling again as her friend nodded. “Just ‘cause Lucy’s had it tough, it doesn’t mean you’ve had it easy.”

“Well- I guess,” Luke said with a shrug. “I just- I just wish there was something I could do for Lucy, you know?”

“I think, yeah,” Susie said. “Though if it helps you are the best bro- sorry, the best sibling ever, you know? For putting her needs before yours.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t feel like the best sibling ever right now,” Luke said, before sighing. “Mind if I sit with you today in class?”

“I’d mind it more if you didn’t!” Susie replied with a chuckle as the two of them headed to their first class of the day.

Lucy remained on her brother’s mind all throughout his day at college, and when he returned home, he was relieved to see her sat up on the sofa watching TV- and unsurprised to see her in her preferred hoodie and jeans combo, with no trace of cosmetics on her pale-looking face.

“Hey Luce,” Luke said as he hesitantly sat down next to his sister. “F- feeling any better?”

“Mmph,” Lucy angrily grunted in reply.

“For what it’s worth, Susie says she missed you at college today,” Luke said.

“Mmph,” Lucy repeated.

“And- and so did I,” Luke mumbled, before sighing. “Lucy, I- I’m sorry for- for yesterday, I mean, I should’ve-“

“No- ugh, no, I’m sorry,” Lucy interrupted with a sigh. “I shouldn’t have bitten your head off, I- I definitely shouldn’t have said you had it any easier than I did.”

“…You were right when you said I didn’t throw up last night, though,” Luke mumbled.

“Meh, not really,” Lucy retorted. “I mean, factually right, maybe, but- yeah. Last thing I want to do, last thing I NEED right now is to push you away, heh. So- so I’m sorry.”

“A- apology accepted,” Luke whispered. “Heh, shall we- shall we agree to never fight again?”

“Sounds good to me,” Lucy giggled.

“Good,” Luke whispered. “Do you- do you think you’ll be better by tomorrow? Not from the- well, you know, but- but your stomach?”

“Meh, maybe, I dunno,” Lucy sighed. “the ‘other thing’s gonna take more than bed rest to cure, heh. And yes, I will tell Dr Adams when we see her next.”

“Good,” Luke said firmly. “’Cause Susie’s invited us round to her place tomorrow, says she’s got, like, a ‘late birthday surprise’ for both of us.”

“Sounds cool,” Lucy shrugged. “Doubt she’ll be able to get what I REALLY want, heh.”

“What either of us REALLY want,” Luke chuckled.

The following morning, Luke and Lucy greeted their friend with a tight hug each as they entered her home, where they were quickly whisked up to her bedroom.

“Hey you two!” Susie giggled excitedly. “You feeling any better, Luce?”

“Meh, a little,” Lucy replied with a shrug. “Thursday night was just so, so shit though.”

“Ugh, I- heh, I can’t even imagine,” Susie sighed. “And I wish, I really, really wish there was something I could do to help you out.”

“Yeah, I know you do,” Lucy sighed. “And I appreciate it, but- meh. Don’t think ANYONE can solve this ‘problem’, heh.”

“Well, I might be able to help a little,” Susie said as she retrieved a carrier bag from underneath her bed.

“What’ve you got there?” Luke asked curiously.

“Call it… Call it a late birthday present,” Susie replied with a grin as she tipped the contents of the bag onto her bed, revealing a small pile of old-looking clothes.

“…A skirt?” Lucy sneered as she picked the short denim garment off the bed and held it up to her waist. “How’s this meant to make me feel better? It’d be way too big for me anyway…”

“Yeah, but-“ Luke stammered, his eyes widening.

“He’s getting it…” Susie said with a wide, cheeky grin.

“It- it’d be the perfect size for me,” Luke said, taking the skirt from his sister and holding it up to his own waist.

“I hoped I’d guessed your size right,” Susie said as she unfolded the other clothes, revealing among other things, a pair of tight brown shorts and two feminine-cut t-shirts. “Oxfam didn’t have a huge selection, I’m afraid, and it was the only place in my price budget, heh.”

“Seriously, this- this is more than amazing,” Luke said, his hands trembling as he tightly gripped the soft denim. “Can- can I try it on now?”

“I would be offended if you didn’t!” Susie replied, her grin widening as she and Lucy turned their backs on the young man.

Luke's hands literally shook with excitement as he peeled off his jeans and sweater. As he delicately held the skirt out in front of him, her marvelled at how even the fabric felt softer than the stiff denim of his jeans. He almost felt a sense of disappointment as he slid the garment over his hips- other than the occasional brush of the fabric against his bare thighs, he barely felt it at all, but he then realised that that was the point of the skirt- and the fact that his legs were bare beneath his knees more than made up for not feeling the denim against his thighs. After pulling on the t-shirt- which, like the skirt, was far softer than any t-shirt he had in his drawers at home- Luke took several breaths to compose himself before turning around to face his sister and his friend again- both of whom, he noted, were wearing trousers and looser tops than him. For the first time in a very long time, Luke felt like he truly belonged.

“O- okay,” Luke said, his whole body trembling with excitement. “I’m ready.” Luke bit his lip anxiously as the two girls turned around, before letting out an excited squeak as they both grinned widely.

“Nice to finally meet you, MISS Miller!” Susie said, exchanging a hand which Luke eagerly shook.

“Thanks!” Luke squeaked, bouncing up and down with excitement, which only increased when he saw his sister looking on with an approving smile on her face.

“So, how does it feel?” Lucy asked.

“Honestly?” Luke replied. “It- it hardly feels any different, I mean, on the outside, at least, but on the inside, I- I feel completely different, like a whole new person.”

“Yeah, I think I get what you mean,” Lucy said with a grin. “You look different, too, and, like, not just ‘cause of the clothes.”

“Thanks,” Luke said bashfully. “My- my legs are a little cold though, heh.”

“Aye, well, we can do something about that too!” Susie giggled as she opened one of her drawers and fished out a small unopened cardboard box. “All yours!”

“Wh- are you okay with me wearing this?” Luke asked as he opened the box to reveal a pair of brand-new black tights.

“How many times have you seen me wear a skirt or a dress?” Susie replied with a snort of laughter. “Those tights will probably never get worn, so knock yourself out, hehe! Do you need a hand putting them on?”

“Ah- no,” Luke chuckled. “I know how to put on a pair of tights, trust me!”

“He does, I can vouch for that,” Lucy giggled as Luke stretched the flimsy garment over his legs.

“Honestly, this- you really don’t know just how amazing this feels,” Luke sighed happily. “Like, for the first time in ages, I can just, you know-“

“I think I get it,” Susie said softly. “And if I’d known about Thursday night, Luce, I’d have got you, like, a pair of boy’s jeans or something too, but-“

“Don’t- don’t worry about it, honestly,” Lucy said.

“Well, next time I’m in town, I can always have a look?” Susie offered.

“…What, and spend all your own money on us?” Lucy said. “We can’t ask you to do THAT, really…”

“Well, then give me a fiver and I’ll have a look for you, if that makes you feel better,” Susie shrugged. “Same applies to you Luke, if you- Luke?” Susie and Lucy both frowned with confusion as they saw the young man sitting on the bed, looking sadly down at his new clothes and trying not to cry.

“L- Luke?” Lucy asked. “Are you okay?”

“Y- yeah,” the young man sighed. “It’s just- it’s just that at the end of the day, I’m gonna- I’m gonna have to take all of this off. Go back to being ‘Luke’ again, have to pretend to be a boy for everyone…” Lucy blinked back tears of her own as she sat down next to her brother and gave him a long, tight hug. For the first time, she realised that however bad it felt for her, it felt just as bad for her brother. Lucy’s stomach began to grumble as she was gripped by a feeling of guilt over how she had spoken to her brother on their birthday. Luke had always been supportive of her, and it was her turn to return the favour.

“I- I’m sorry,” Lucy whispered.

“Heh, why are you apologising?” Luke chuckled. “Everything you’ve done for me, both of you… Guess I should just enjoy it while it lasts, heh.”

“Well- well it’s not like this has to be the only time it happens,” Susie said. “Like I said to Lucy, anytime you want, just give me some money and I can get you more clothes. I do my own laundry so it’s no hassle washing them too.”

“Th- thanks,” Luke whispered emotionally. “This is probably my best birthday present ever, hehe!”

“You’re welcome,” Susie said, before giggling and rolling her eyes. “And I can hardly call you ‘Luke’ while you’re dressed like that, can I?”

“You can always have my name if you want,” Lucy chuckled. “God knows I don’t want it!”

“That… Might get a little confusing,” Luke giggled.

“Well, we don’t have to think about it right away,” Susie said with a grin. “You just sit back, relax and enjoy the day, MISS Miller. And that goes for you too, MISTER Miller, hehe!”

“Thanks,” Lucy giggled as she sighed happily.

“What are you thinking right now?” Susie asked her friend.

“That I wish we were triplets, heh,” Lucy replied, triggering a tight group hug.

As Luke predicted, when the time came to change back into his own clothes, he found he had to force himself to even start to remove the skirt, tights and t-shirt- and he shed tears for every garment that left his body. Even the promise of another session the following weekend wasn’t enough to stem his tears, but Luke tried his hardest to look at the situation positively. Femininity was available to him any time he wanted- just not every time he wanted. Over the following few weekends, Susie kept her promise and gradually built both twins a stash of clothes, including more skirts, tops and even a short dress and fashionable bodysuit for Luke, while she acquired a couple of smart shirts and a pair of boy's jeans for Lucy, including another beloved Newcastle United FC shirt. And each time the twins dressed in the clothes of their true genders, they dreaded returning to being the genders they had been forced to live in all their life.

As the months passed, the twins’ discussions with their counsellor grew more frequent as their feelings of dysphoria worsened. Dr Adams listened to the twins’ concerns and their stories of stressful incidents, such as Lucy’s breakdown on her birthday, and agreed with both twins that ultimately, they must transition for the sake of their mental health. However, she reiterated the fact that until they had come out publicly- especially to their parents- she was unable to prescribe anything medically, which only served to further stress the twins out. Even as the twins' outward appearance gradually changed, with Luke's hair growing longer while Lucy maintained a shorter style, and Luke steadily (but not unhealthily) losing weight, the doctor maintained that nothing could be done while their parents were kept in the dark.

As he had promised, shortly after their birthdays, Paul began to teach Luke to drive while Lucy received lessons from her mother. Both twins passed their driving tests before the end of the year, however as their parents couldn’t afford to buy them cars of their own, they couldn't enjoy the increased freedom that came with being able to drive- especially not the freedom to be who they truly wanted to be.

However, as the twins began their second and final year of college, their lives gradually began to change- not least on the occasion of their eighteenth birthdays.

“Ah, here they are!” Paul said with an excited grin as his children descended the stairs in their light grey dressing gowns. “Happy birthday, adults!”

“Thanks,” Luke chuckled, brushing his shoulder-length hair behind his ears before tucking into the special breakfast of bacon and eggs that had been set out for him.

“Thanks,” Lucy said quietly as she scratched at the short, but growing hair on her leg.

“Now, it’s the same rules as always,” Sarah said excitedly. “One present before college, and you can open the rest when you get home!” Luke and Lucy sighed simultaneously and began to reach into their pile, hoping as with last year to get the present they wanted the least out of the way first. However, within seconds, they were stopped by their father, who had a wide grin on his face as he retrieved two large, gift-wrapped boxes from behind the room’s other sofa.

“Not so fast, you two!” Paul said with a wide grin on his face. “This year, we get to decide which presents you’re opening first, and it’s going to be these ones!” Luke and Lucy looked at each other apprehensively as they took the gifts from their father. They’d initially assumed that the boxes contained yet more stress for the two of them- a fancy evening gown for Lucy, and a tailored suit for Luke- but the weight of the boxes quickly convinced the twins that they did not contain clothes. What surprised the two of them the most, though, was that unlike the rest of their presents, the boxes were wrapped in identical green-coloured wrapping paper…

“Go on, open them!” Sarah urged. The two teenagers wasted no time and tore open the presents, both gasping excitedly as they revealed two brand-new, identical laptop computers.

“Oh- oh my god!” Lucy exclaimed.

“W- wow!” Luke gasped. “Thank you, seriously, thank you for these!”

“Well, you’re going to need proper computers when you go to university, not just iPads,” Sarah said. “And did you really think we weren’t going to spoil you on the most important birthday of them all?”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy said, smiling genuinely at her gift for the first time in many years. She had no doubt that many of her other presents would cause her stress, that she’d find dresses, shoes and make-up kits in her pile, and that she’d have to suffer through yet another excruciating evening with her grandparents. However, for the first time ever, Lucy actually started to feel an increased sense of freedom, like her parents were finally treating her as an adult. She just wished that they could treat her like a man…

As the twins had predicted (and dreaded), when they returned home and opened the rest of their presents, they unveiled the predictable gifts of football memorabilia and aftershave for Luke and make-up and perfume for Lucy, before they were ushered up their bedrooms to change into their new, smart clothes for dinner with their grandparents. Luke sighed heavily but resigned himself to his fate as he pulled on his smart trousers, shirt and tie, but as Lucy went to step into her dress, she paused and started to sweat heavily as she remembered the trauma she suffered the previous year. Defiantly, Lucy placed her new dress back on its hanger and pulled on her smartest pair of black trousers, her plainest white shirt and her favoured pair of flat lace-up black shoes. With her hair slicked back and her face make-up free, Lucy had never felt as smart as she did in that instant- or, more importantly, as masculine. Sure, her trousers were form-fitting and her shirt was technically a blouse, with the buttons on the left-hand side, but from a distance, Lucy could easily pass for any other teenaged boy. As she left her bedroom, she bumped into her brother, but unlike twelve months earlier, she had a smile on her face.

“Not one word,” Lucy said with a teasing smile on her face.

“Not even ‘you look more like a boy than I do’?” Luke asked, smirking sadly as Lucy giggled.

“…Meh, okay, I’ll let you get away with THAT,” Lucy replied, before bracing herself for the inevitable as she headed downstairs to where her parents were waiting.

“L- Lucy?” Sarah asked with a frown that her daughter quickly mirrored. “Why aren’t you wearing your new dress?”

“Meh, I’m- I’m just more comfortable in this,” Lucy replied with a shrug.

“Don’t you like the dress?” Sarah asked. “It was very expensive…” And thanks for the guilt trip, Lucy thought to herself as she groaned internally.

“Well, I- I do, umm, I do like it,” Lucy fibbed. “I just- I just prefer this, that’s all.”

“Well, it’s your birthday, I suppose,” Sarah mumbled, making her daughter’s stomach churn at what she perceived as emotional blackmail.

“Come on, we don’t want to keep your grandparents waiting,” Paul said, ushering his children out to his car and blissfully ignorant of the fact that they would be only too happy to keep their grandparents waiting- ideally forever.

A short while later, the family pulled up outside the elderly couple’s home, and both Luke and Lucy steeled themselves for the criticism they were inevitably about to face.

“Happy birthday, you two!” Eileen said, emerging from the house to greet both of her grandchildren with a hug each.

“Happy birthday, Luke!” Derek said, giving the young man a firm handshake. “I see ya dad didn’t get ya a haircut for ya birthday, then? Happy birthday, Lucy.” The young woman felt her anger slowly start to rise at the nonchalant, offhanded way her grandfather greeted her, but it was nothing compared to the tension that gripped her body when her grandmother looked at her quizzically.

“Have you both just come from school?” Eileen asked. “You were there late if that’s the case…”

“Ah- no,” Sarah replied before either twin could speak. “They don’t actually wear uniforms at college, heh, normally they just wear jeans and hoodies. This is them dressed up, believe it or not.” Lucy felt her stomach churn again as she inferred the disappointment in her mother's voice.

“What, don’t you have any pretty dresses you could’ve worn, Lucy?” Eileen asked, and while the teenaged girl opened her mouth to reply, once again, her mother interrupted her before she could speak.

“No, I think she’s just decided that she doesn’t like dresses,” Sarah replies. “I’d hoped that she’d have got that phase out of the way earlier, but whatever I suppose.” Lucy bit her lip to keep herself from frowning as her cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and rage- feelings that only deepened as she gazed over at her grandfather, who clearly couldn’t have cared less about her or what she wore. Lucy’s rage wasn’t helped either by the fact that her mother herself preferred to wear trousers except on very special occasions- though she at least had chosen to wear a dress, something she knew she'd be reminded of later that night.

“So, other than a pair o’ hair clippers, what ‘dya dad get ya?” Derek asked Luke, who withered under his grandfather's gaze even though there was no malice behind the question.

“I, umm, we both got new laptops,” Luke replied, glancing over at his sister for support, only to discover that she was staring intently at the floor.

“Aye, and?” Derek asked.

“And, umm, that was mostly it,” Luke replied. “We got a few other things, but the laptops were, like, the main present.”

“What, ya didn’ get him a car for his birthday?” Derek asked his son, who frowned in reply.

“Well, the- the laptop cost enough as it was!” Paul chuckled.

“I’m no’ saying you shoulda bought him a Bentley!” Derek retorted. “But a boy needs a car, especially if he’s gonna be a man!”

“Well- I did look into it,” Paul said, barely suppressing a sigh. “But even cheap cars cost a packet nowadays, especially when you factor in insurance as well for an eighteen-year-old, and there’s no way we’d have been able to afford two of them.”

“Why’d he need two cars?” Derek scoffed.

“Well- one for him and one for Lucy,” Paul replied, momentarily knocking the wind out of his father’s sails.

“Well- aye, I guess,” Derek mumbled as his grandson again glanced over at his twin, this time locking eyes with her and exchanging a look that said ‘this is going to suck’.

Fortunately for the twins, they only stayed at their grandparents’ house for another two hours, but that was long enough to make them both highly agitated. However, unlike the previous year, Lucy felt none of the nausea and actual physical pain that had ruined her seventeenth birthday- she even enjoyed the special cake that had been made for the occasion. There was no confusion in Lucy's mind as to why she enjoyed the day more than she had the previous year- it was all to do with what she wore, how she looked and, most importantly of all, how she felt. And yet, as she returned home at the end of the day, Lucy still felt her stress levels climb- though unlike the previous year, she acknowledged that her brother’s would be just as high, if not higher than her own.

“Hey,” Luke said, gently knocking on Lucy’s bedroom door after he’d changed back into his jeans and sweatshirt. “Luce? You okay?”

“Come in,” Lucy replied. Luke slowly opened the door and was unsurprised to find his sister sprawled out on her bed in her own jeans and sweatshirt.

“Hey,” Luke said softly. “Are- are you okay?”

“…Aye, I’m fine, I guess,” Lucy sighed. “I should really be the one asking you, heh.”

“I’m okay,” Luke mumbled. “Just- ugh, I dunno. Just fed up, I guess.”

“I’d offer to let you wear one of my dresses, but I doubt any of them’d fit,” Lucy sighed.

“Meh, I appreciate it anyway,” Luke sighed. “And I’m sure Susie’ll have something new for me tomorrow, heh. It’s just- ugh.”

“You won’t be able to wear it again on Sunday?” Lucy asked.

“Aye, exactly that,” Luke moaned. “Have you- have you set up your laptop yet?”

“Got it downloading updates now,” Lucy replied, pointing to the brand-new computer on her dresser. “Though I’ve already, you know, looked online for, like, ‘help’.”

“…Yeah, me too,” Luke sighed. “I’ve- heh. I’ve actually signed up for, you know, a few ‘helpful’ message boards, a couple of subreddits… I hope- I hope you don’t mind, but-“

“But- but what?” Lucy asked.

“I- I kinda signed up under- under the name ‘Lucie’,” Luke confessed. “Like, with an ‘ie’ at the end instead of a ‘y’.”

“Why would I mind about that?” Lucy snorted. “I want rid of the name as fast as possible, heh.”

“Thanks,” Luke chuckled. “And you can, you know, use ‘Luke’ as a name if you want, however you want to spell it. L-U-C maybe? I dunno.”

“Oh aye, ‘cause I sound French, don’t I?” Lucy snorted, before smiling. “But thanks anyway, really.”

“You’re welcome,” Luke chuckled. “Heh, hopefully- hopefully, you know, on our nineteenth birthday, we’ll actually get to be ‘Luc’ and ‘Lucie’, heh.”

“I’m not holding my breath,” Lucy sighed.

“Well, you never know,” Luke mused. “I mean, this time next year, we’ll be at uni, won’t we?”

“If we both get in,” Lucy replied, reminding her brother that they had a lot of work ahead of them.

In the weeks that followed, exams and university applications meant that the twins barely had any free time for anything else, including spending any 'special time' with Susie. Luke and Lucy sent off applications to study Chemistry at universities across the country, from as far south as London to as far north as Edinburgh, but both of them had their hearts set on one university in particular- the prestigious university of Durham, less than twenty miles from their hometown. They spent several days reading up on their subject, hoping to impress their potential professors at their interviews, and as spring drew to a close and summer began, they got the news that they’d been hoping for- dependent on their exam results, they had been accepted to start studying chemistry at Durham University, starting in September 2019. The twins were equally delighted to discover a short while later that Susie had received an identical letter to theirs.

They were less delighted, though unsurprised, when their parents threw a big, fancy celebration for the two of them to celebrate their acceptance into the university. While Lucy was able to wear a pair of trousers and a shirt to the ‘party’, she wasn’t able to escape the fact that when she picked up her student ID at the start of the course, it would have the name ‘Miss Lucy Miller’ on it and display her gender as unambiguously female, while Luke’s ID would show his gender as unambiguously male. Sure, in their student dorm, they’d have the freedom to be the ‘real’ them behind closed doors, but eventually, they would have to leave their rooms and go back to being the people they didn’t want to be, the people they felt they simply weren’t on the inside. Even talking with their counsellor didn’t help- they pointed out that for the twins to receive any practical help, such as HRT, they would need to first come out to their parents, and while the twins would be living away from home for the first time ever, they still couldn’t risk not having a home to go back to.

Eventually, the twins finished their final exams and were rewarded with their hard-earned extended summer break. While the twins had, with Susie’s help, built up large stashes of clothes that they kept at the ginger haired girl’s house (and fully intended to take with them to university), they had only ever worn the clothes indoors, and had all but resigned themselves to the fact that those were the only circumstances under which they’d ever get to wear them. All that changed, however, in the second week of July, when they arrived at Susie’s house and were greeted with an unexpected surprise.

“Hi you two!” The ginger haired girl said as she led the twins through to her bedroom. “Go on, pick yourselves out an outfit, let me know when you’re changed, hehe!”

“Okay, thanks Suse,” Luke said as he reached into the hidden section of his friend’s closet and pulled out a light top and a short, floaty skirt.

“You’re more excited than usual today,” Lucy told her friend as she picked her favourite Newcastle United shirt and a pair of baggy jeans out of the hidden section.

“Well… Maybe, hehe!” Susie giggled.

“…Okay, go on,” Luke said with a giggle as he finished dressing and started brushing out his shoulder-length hair to a more feminine style. “You’ve obviously got something planned, what is it?”

“Well… I was going to save it for a surprise, but I might as well tell you, hehe!” Susie giggled. “First, though, do you still have any money left over from your parents for passing your exams?”

“Aye, loads,” Lucy replied.

“Enough for a trip down to London next weekend?” Susie asked.

“L- London?” Luke asked. “What’s in London, and why next weekend?”

“I’m very glad you asked, MISS Miller!” Susie replied, smiling as Luke giggled at the use of his preferred title. “And the answer… is this!” Susie giggled as she handed the twins an envelope each, which they quickly tore open to find brightly-coloured lanyards, along with stickers, keychains and small booklets filled with QR codes- all of which bore the logo ‘AngelCon 2019’.

“A- AngelCon!?” Luke squeaked excitedly. “You- you’ve got us tickets to AngelCon!?”

“Well- well I do expect you to, like, pay me back for the tickets!” Susie giggled. “But yep, three tickets to the biggest party of the summer, hehe!”

“Oh my god, this is SO cool,” Lucy gushed as she examined the promotional material. While she wasn’t as big a fan of the Angels as her brother, or even Susie, she’d seen every episode of the show and had been inspired by the stars’ lessons of unconditional acceptance, of the value of friendship and being true to oneself. She and Luke had watched footage of the first AngelCon, which had taken place in Los Angeles the previous November, and when they’d heard that the 2019 convention would be in London, they’d looked into getting tickets, only to not bother as they expected the demand to be too high. However, neither of them were going to turn down the opportunity that their friend had presented to them.

“We- we’re probably gonna need to book a hotel,” Luke said. “And trains, too, doubt dad’ll let us drive his car all the way to London, heh!”

“Already taken care of!” Susie giggled. “Ahh, this is gonna be so cool, hehe! And you know the best part of this, right?”

“Umm… Other than getting to meet the Angels?” Luke asked.

“Well… Best part for you maybe, hehe!” Susie giggled. “In London, there is absolutely NO danger of running into anyone we know. So you are going to be able to spend all day, every day, dressed the way you are right now. Unless, of course, you’d rather wear a cute summer dress, or a light playsuit… I’m assuming you’d rather not wear what you wore on your way to the house today?” Luke bit his lip as he contemplated the possibility. He didn’t exactly cut a feminine figure at 5’ 11” with a wide chest and a masculine jawline, and even in a city where no one knew his name, the chances of being ‘clocked' were high enough to give him genuine cause for concern. On the other hand, Lucy and Susie would be with him the whole time, and if there was any event that would provide a guaranteed safe space, it was AngelCon. For years, the chance to spend as relatively little as 24 consecutive hours as the girl he wanted to be had seemed like a fantasy, a pipe dream destined to never come true. And yet, here it was, the opportunity of a lifetime that had simply dropped into his lap. And he wasn’t about to turn it down.

“Hmm… That summer dress sounds AWESOME,” Luke giggled. “How about you, Lucy? Looking forward to a whole weekend of just being ‘Luc’?” Lucy paused as she considered her response to the question. She knew that unlike Luke, she’d have no problem ‘passing’ despite only standing 5’ 4” tall. All she had to do was scrub her face clean of any make-up, style her hair neutrally and wear clothes that weren’t form-fitting, and she’d be fine… Just like she’d been doing over the previous few months. However, there was a big difference between presenting as an androgynous, boyish girl and coming out and actively stating that one was male, and as desperate as Lucy was to cross that line, she was still nervous. She knew her parents would be upset. She knew her grandparents would be furious. But most of all… She knew that if she crossed that line, even for a day, even for an hour, there would be no way she’d be able to go back. While she was aware that Luke had it just as hard as she did, she envied him being able to take off the skirt at the end of the day and go back to being a boy, however reluctantly. However, Lucy knew that if she was going to live her life as a man, she’d have to take that first step eventually- and AngelCon was a good a place as any to take it.

“…Let’s do this,” Lucy said quietly, before grinning as her friend and her brother surrounded her in a tight group hug.

The following Friday afternoon, the three teenagers gathered at Newcastle’s vast railway station, buzzing with excitement about their trip to the nation’s capital. While Luke and Lucy were dressed in the same clothes they wore when they'd left their home, they both had their overnight bags with them, and secretly, they were just as excited to get to the hotel to change as they were about the event the following day.

The train ride to London took almost three and a half hours, and after the additional half hour taxi ride from King’s Cross station to their hotel the twins were desperate to change into the outfits that were hidden within their overnight bags. Once they were booked into their room, Luke and Lucy wasted no time in unpacking their cases, and after a quick discussion, Luke was ushered into the room’s small bathroom to change first.

Luke took several deep breaths to stop his hands from shaking as he removed all of his clothes and gently stepped into his short, flared skirt, before pulling a loose white tank top over his head. Even before he'd fixed his hair or make-up, Luke stepped back to look at himself in the bathroom mirror and was enthralled by the sight that greeted him. The figure in the mirror was never going to win any modelling contracts, but it took very little stretch of the imagination to look at them and believe that they were indeed a young woman, getting ready for an evening out with her friends. However, Luke was far from done. After fastening a narrow belt around his waist and popping several cute, playful bracelets onto his wrists, he carefully brushed his shoulder-length hair out into a cute flippy style, before setting to work on his make-up. He would only apply a little foundation, followed by eyeliner, mascara and very faint eyeshadow- not even any blush or lipstick. However, it was enough to complete the 'illusion'- however, to Luke, it was no illusion. He felt more 'real' than he had ever done in his life, and he intended to savour every moment of his- or rather, her weekend.

“Well?” Luke asked with a cheeky grin on his made-up face as he emerged from the bathroom and struck a pose for his sister and his friend.

“Looking cute, MISS Miller!” Susie giggled. “Never mind the Angels, I think people are gonna be asking for YOUR autograph tomorrow!”

“Oh- shut up…” Luke said with a bashful grin as he sat down on the edge of the bed, keeping his knees pressed tightly together. “But- but thanks, heh.”

“Your turn now, MISTER Miller!” Susie said, sharing a grin with Lucy as the she disappeared into the bathroom.

Whereas Luke took almost twenty minutes to perfect his look, Lucy took less than five. The only challenge Lucy faced was with the one final gift that Susie had given her on the train ride- a wide elastic bandage. It hadn't taken Lucy any time to work out what its intended use was, and Lucy focussed on her breathing as she unclipped her bra and let it fall unceremoniously to the floor. Lucy wrapped the bandage tight around her chest, wincing at first due to the discomfort it caused her breasts, before finally finding an arrangement that didn't hurt, but more importantly, didn't show any 'shapes' underneath the baggy t-shirt she pulled on after her favourite pair of boy's jeans. Lucy took a few final deep breaths to get herself used to the new pressure on her chest, before forcing a smile on her face and emerging from the bathroom to the approving smiles of Luke and Susie.

“Looking good!” Susie giggled. “How- how’s the bandage?” The ginger-haired girl bit her lip as her friend paused before replying.

“…It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world,” Lucy replied. “But it’s a damn sight better than wearing a bra, heh!”

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Susie chuckled.

“Me too, hehe!” Luke said, earning genuine smiles from both of his friends, before taking an anxious deep breath. “I suppose we’ve got to, you know, head out now?”

“Well- it’s up to you,” Susie replied. “I can always, like, go out and grab something for us to eat and bring it back here, but, well, I won’t be able to bring the whole of AngelCon back tomorrow, heh!”

“…Then let’s do this,” Luke said defiantly.

“All right!” Susie giggled. “Luce? What do you say?” Lucy paused as she considered her answer. Just as she’d predicted beforehand, once she'd gotten comfortable in her outfit- or rather, in her new identity- the thought of going back to who she was chilled her blood. To her, the door to the hotel room represented the point of no return. If she stepped through it once as ‘not Lucy’, then in her mind, there was no way she’d ever be able to step through it again as ‘Lucy’. There would be no going back, and as much as she desperately wanted to take that step, she was also afraid. However, as nervous as she was, she knew one simple truth- she wouldn’t be taking those steps alone.

“…Let’s do this,” Lucy said firmly, smiling as she followed her brother and her friend out of the room.

The three teenagers ate their dinner in a fast-food restaurant that was a mere 5 minute walk from the hotel, but to the twins, it might as well have been on the other side of the world. With every step they took away from the sanctuary of the hotel room, Luke and Lucy grew more and more nervous. They knew that they looked the part, and deep down inside, they more than felt the part, but it was still a step into uncharted territory- and just one comment from someone about their appearance could have had the power to send the twins scurrying back to their hotel room. However, the longer they stayed outside, the more confident they felt. The crowd that they expected to be waiting to jeer at them simply didn't appear. The sneers, the abuse and the threats were nowhere to be seen. The most attention Luke received was from a couple of guys who liked the look of what they saw as a nearly six-foot-tall girl- attention that made Luke blush and brought back feelings he hadn’t felt in a long time.

After their meal, the twins returned to their hotel room, where Luke reluctantly wiped away the make-up that he’d worn with pride throughout the evening. He was reassured by the fact that he’d be reapplying it the following morning anyway- but that did nothing to ease his stress, as he was still unsure when he'd ever have the chance to apply it again after that.

The following morning, the twins woke up early, and after a quick breakfast in the hotel restaurant, rushed back to their room to prepare for the day ahead.

Lucy smiled as she again wrapped the medical bandage around her chest, before pulling on her favourite pair of jeans and her trusty Newcastle United FC shirt, while Luke giggled excitedly as he stepped into his newest denim mini skirt and Out of Heaven t-shirt from their most recent tour. However, pride of place for both of the twins- as well as Susie- went to the official AngelCon 2019 lanyards that the teenagers wore around their necks. A short taxi ride later, and the three of them were stood in the extra-long queue that stretched around the sides of London’s O2 Arena.

As the twins studied the many faces in the crowd, they felt their anxiety quickly dissipate. As cruel as Luke felt for thinking it, he soon concluded that not only was he not the only person in the queue who was presenting as the 'opposite' gender, but he was far from being the most 'noticeable'. However, despite that, everyone in the crowd, him and Lucy included, were being accepted without question as the people they said they were. To the twins, it felt- appropriately enough- like heaven, as for the first time, they had real, concrete proof that their feelings were valid. They weren’t ‘abnormal’ or ‘wrong’ for feeling the way they did. They weren’t hurting anyone, and they weren’t breaking any laws. They were part of a community that had had to endure so much hardship, so much discrimination simply for needing to live their lives the way they needed to. But they weren’t alone. They were part of a community that looked out for each other, even when those outside the community sought to silence them. And the community had powerful members- one of whom the twins made a beeline toward when the meet and greet sessions began.

“Hi, what’s your name?” The world-famous voice of Jamie-Lee Burke asked, smiling her trademark smile as the twins nervously approached her table.

“H- hi, I- I’m-“ Luke said, before pausing. He couldn’t very well give his real, or at the very least, his legal name. He was certain that, of all people, Jamie-Lee would be understanding of their situation, but she was also the last person he wanted to embarrass himself in front of.

“I’m Luke,” Lucy said firmly, giving her petrified sibling’s hand a supportive squeeze. “This is my sister Lucy.”

“Aww, that’s so nice that the two of you are so close!” Jamie gushed.

“Well, we are twins,” Lucy said with a nervous grin. “So we’ve kinda, like, had a whole lifetime plus an extra nine months of ‘close’.”

“Ah, now that is SO cool!” Jamie giggled as she autographed the twins’ photos. “I’m guessing by your accents- and, well, your shirt- that you’re from Newcastle, right?”

“Aye,” Lucy replied softly, before exchanging an awkward glance with her brother.

“You- you’re kinda, you know, an inspiration for us,” Luke said nervously. “For, like, both of us.” Luke bit his lip as the famous transwoman paused, furtively glancing at their bodies and their facial features, before a wide, genuine grin spread across her face.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Jamie said softly, wordlessly acknowledging what the twins were implying. “I think you’ve probably inspired each other more than I’ve inspired you though, hehe!”

“Well- maybe,” Lucy chuckled, before she and her twin posed for a selfie with the famous woman. “It was SO cool to meet you, like, in the flesh.”

“Likewise,” Jamie said with a grin as the twins walked away, signed photos in hand and feeling like they were floating after meeting one of their idols.

The twins (along with Susie) spent the rest of the afternoon getting selfies with the other Angels and checking out the various stalls and other attractions the convention had to offer. However, nothing came close to the feeling of excitement the twins felt at meeting Jamie for the first time. They’d read up on her life story and knew that when she’d first come out publicly, she’d faced rejection not just from her family, but from the whole country. However, rather than withdraw into her shell, Jamie had risen above the criticism and bullying to become the icon that she was, and if she could do it, the twins certainly could too- together, as always.

The twins and Susie headed to the main stage later that evening and were enthralled by the fashion show put on by all of the Angels from around the world, emceed by the world-famous actor Billy Porter. After an impromptu song by Out of Heaven brought the evening's events to a close, the trio headed back to their hotel, and even though it was almost 1am by the time they climbed into their beds, none of them felt even remotely tired- but they knew they had to get their rest if they were to return to the arena for the following day's festivities.

Even though the Sunday lacked the excitement that had been generated by the anticipation of the previous day, the twins still made the most of the day, watching the shows, getting autographs and selfies with all the members of Out of Heaven and, most importantly of all, enjoying the opportunity to simply be themselves, free from any burdens or responsibilities. However, the time came for the convention to end, and both Luke and Lucy felt their hearts sink as they realised they had to head back to their hotel- and soon afterwards, back to Newcastle. As they began to pack their travel cases for the journey home, both Luke and Lucy had only one thing on their minds.

“I- I don’t want to go back,” Lucy mumbled, pausing her packing before sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I- I just don’t. I can’t, I- I just can’t go back to being ‘Lucy’ again, I- I-“

“It’s okay,” Luke sighed, sitting down next to his sister and holding her as she slowly wept. “I don’t want to go back either, heh. But- but we’ll talk to Dr Adams on Monday, and she-“

“She’ll do fuck all, like she always does!” Lucy snapped. “Give us fucking useless reassurances that she’ll help only when we tell our parents and get kicked out onto the street!”

“Well- well we’ll be starting at uni in a few weeks,” Susie said.

“I can’t hang on another few weeks,” Lucy mumbled. “I swear, I don’t think I can hang on another few HOURS without- ugh.” Luke felt his blood run cold as he pondered what his twin was implying.

“No, but-“ Susie said as she desperately racked her brains for a way to help her distraught friend. “But- but, you know, if you talk to the uni, they’ve got, like, a secretary who deals with applications, and they- they might be able to help, you know?”

“…What- what are you suggesting?” Lucy asked, frowning with confusion as her friend began to smile knowingly.

A couple of weeks later, the twins fidgeted nervously in their seats as they sat before the secretary in charge of admissions of Durham University. The fact that they’d lied to their parents about going down to Durham for just a look around was one of the reasons for their discomfort, but a larger reason was the fact that they’d stopped at Susie’s house along the way, where Lucy had changed into a pair of smart trousers, a smart shirt- with buttons on the right hand side- and her old school tie, while Luke had changed into a plain black pencil skirt, a clean white blouse and a pair of very smart black flats.

“Okay,” the secretary, a middle-aged man named Croft, said as he finished reading the prepared statements the twins had supplied. “I’ve read your statements, along with the letter your counsellor has provided. As I’m sure you know, gender identity is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act of 2010, and we here at Durham University take our responsibilities regarding the act very seriously indeed. If you choose to transition while studying with us- well, that’s your choice, and the staff will support you every step of the way.”

“Thank you,” Luke whispered, his excitement levels almost reaching fever pitch. To his right, however, his sister looked less optimistic as she expected the older man to begin his next sentence with the word 'but'.

“I do have some questions, though,” Mr. Croft said, causing Lucy to frown as her suspicions were proven correct. “You’ve mentioned that you haven’t yet come out to your parents?”

“No,” Luke replied. “They- they’re kinda old-fashioned, our grandparents even more so.”

“I see,” Mr. Croft said. “I am just worried- more for you than anything- what will happen when you return home for the holidays or reading weeks.”

“That- that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we come to it,” Lucy said firmly. “I need you- really need you to believe me when I say that I am physically incapable of living life as a woman.”

“Just as I am when it comes to living life as a man,” Luke said.

“…Okay,” Mr. Croft said, before taking a deep breath. “The way I see this going forward is quite simple. The university can’t force you to live your life in a gender with which you don’t or can’t identify. We wouldn’t dream of asking you to do that. However, the responsibility for how you handle your transition lies solely with the two of you. If you experience discrimination because of your gender identity, we will step in to sanction the perpetrators. And it should go without saying that any transgressions on your part shall be sanctioned just as severely.”

“Of course,” Lucy said quietly.

“Otherwise, we will leave you be,” Mr. Croft said, bringing a smile to the twins’ faces. All they’d wanted their whole lives was to be allowed to be the people they truly were, deep down inside. Mr. Croft may have intended his message as a caution, but to the twins, he may as well have been a genie granting a lifelong wish.

“That- that will be absolutely fine,” Luke said with a nervous giggle.

“The one remaining thing,” Mr. Croft said cautiously, “is what you wish to be called at university. You registered at the university under the names of Luke and Lucy, and while they may still be your legal names, I’m assuming you would prefer not to be addressed by those names?”

“…That’s correct,” Luke replied. “At times, we- heh. At times we’ve kinda, like, ‘swapped’ names, I’d be called Lucie- with an i-e at the end, Lucy would be called Luc, but spelled with a C…”

“Well- well one way of looking at it is this,” Mr. Croft said. “Starting the chemistry course next year will be a man named Luke Miller and a woman named Lucy Miller, both born on the same day. It would take virtually no paperwork, just a couple of notes from me, and you would be able to start university as Lucy, while you would start as Luke. Would that be agreeable to you?” The teenager who was known as ‘Luke’ for the first eighteen years of their life bit their lip and started to tremble nervously at the prospect. No need to hide who they were- who SHE was anymore, not even behind a name. She would be out in the open, a girl with a girl’s name, just like all the other girls at the university. As excited as she was by the prospect, though, she was also anxious. It would be a big step. She’d be presenting herself- her true self- to the world for the very first time. However, as AngelCon had proved, she didn’t necessarily need to be afraid. She’d have Lucy- or rather, Luke to support her. She’d have Susie. And she’d maybe even make new friends over her time at university. However, she might also make new enemies, people even worse than her grandparents.

Unlike their twin, the teenager who had formally been known as ‘Lucy’ had no such reservations. The door had finally been opened for them- for HIM- and he wasn’t going to hesitate to step through.

“That would be perfect,” the newly named Luke replied, fidgeting slightly to try to make the elastic bandage around his chest more comfortable.

“Ye- yes,” the newly named Lucy said as she adjusted her smart skirt. “That- that sounds great to me.” The twins both giggled excitedly as they looked at each other, before concluding the meeting by signing the papers Mr. Croft had prepared, both twins delighting in signing their new names for the very first time.

For the remaining few weeks of the summer, the twins returned to their birth genders, and despite the fact they knew their time living as their birth genders was coming to an end, they both found themselves feeling increasingly anxious as the summer slowly gave way to autumn, both at the possibility of living life the way they wanted- and fear of the exact same thing. Susie continued to support them and was excited to learn that she’d be living in the same dorms as the twins, but for all three teenagers, as the summer break dragged on, it seemed like the start of university seemed like it would never come.

However, it did.

"Okay then," Luke said confidently as he looked up at his taller twin sister. "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Lucy replied. "We do this together, right?"

"Aye, always," Luke said, giving his sister a gentle pat on the back as the two of them walked toward the imposing main gate of Durham University...

“You know,” Luke said to his sister as they waited in line to have their photos taken, “I kinda expected my first day at uni to have a bit more fun and a less, you know, paperwork.”

“Or even a bit more learning,” Lucy laughed as she tried her hardest not to fidget.

To both of the twins, their first day at university had been a dream come true, and while that was true for a great many of the other teenagers in the room, for the twins, it had extra meaning. When Luke woke up in his dorm, he immediately smiled at the sight of his textbooks on his desk, the large Newcastle United poster on his wall… And the absence of any even remotely feminine clothing in his wardrobe. It took him no time at all to comb his short hair and wrap his elastic bandage around his chest, before pulling on a plain pair of jeans and his brand-new college hoodie. After slipping his feet into a pair of brand-new trainers, he headed along the corridor to his sister’s dorm room, where she had also begun the day with a smile on her face.

Like Luke, Lucy had also opted to wear her new hoodie on her first day, but that was where the similarities ended. Instead of a pair of jeans, Lucy had opted for a casual grey skirt that ended 3 inches above her knee and a pair of opaque black tights. Instead of combing her hair, she brushed it out into a cute shoulder-length style; instead of an elasticated bandage, she applied a light layer of foundation to her face, followed by eyeliner, mascara and a light layer of lipstick; and instead of trainers, she slipped her feet into a pair of dark grey shoes with a 1” wedge heel. After meeting up with Susie, the twins headed toward the main reception area of the university to register on their course and collect their ID… And it was then that the reality of their situation began to dawn on them.

As Lucy accompanied her friends into the university’s main reception, she suddenly became very conscious of the fact that she was six inches taller than her brother and her friend, and that everyone who laid eyes on them would instantly be aware of that fact. They would then quickly pick up on her masculine jawline, her wide shoulders and her large hands, and they’d wonder why this person was wearing make-up, and why they were wearing heeled shoes and a skirt…

Like his sister, Luke was also overcome with nerves when he entered the reception area and found himself having to present himself to the assembled crowd. Unlike AngelCon, there was no guarantee of a safe space among the crowd, and even though Luke had tried his best to look as plain as possible, just like his twin, there was no disguising the fact that he was much shorter than average for a boy, with a skinny frame and even skinnier arms. While the crowd might have overlooked a tomboyish girl, they were less likely to so easily dismiss a boy with girlish features like Luke, and as much as he hated himself for thinking it, being with his sister only made Luke seem more out of place as a boy.

Both Luke and Lucy had read many blogs from transgender people in similar situations to them, and they often spoke about the ‘whispers and giggles’ they had to endure everywhere they went. While Luke and Lucy both consciously knew that everyone in the room was going to be excited at the prospect of starting their course and there would naturally be plenty of giggling, both teenagers couldn’t help but think they every giggle they heard was directed at them.

Fortunately for the twins, though, they weren’t stepping into the unknown alone. They knew that wherever they went, Susie had their backs, just as they had hers. Whatever difficulties, whatever teasing or bullying they had to face, they’d face it together, as they always had. However, both twins understandably would have preferred to have not had to face any bullying at all- and both held out the hope, however vain, that they’d be able to make new friends regardless of their ‘statuses’.

“Okay, stand on the mark on the floor please,” the photographer said as Luke stepped in front of his desk. “Look into the screen, and… done. Go to the next desk, they’ll have your ID waiting for you. Next!” Luke bit his lip nervously as Lucy took his place in front of the camera, while he took his passport and registration form along to the person creating his student ID, fully aware of the fact that his passport and registration form bore different names- and, more crucially, different genders.

“Okay, name and date of birth please?” The woman behind the next desk asked, making the young man bite his lip nervously.

“It- it’s Luke, Luke Miller,” Luke replied hesitantly before handing over his documents. “March twenty-second, 2001.” Luke fidgeted and felt his body start to sweat and itch with anxiety as the woman took his documents and frowned. “There- there’s a letter stapled to the back of the form. From the admissions secretary. That should, like, explain stuff.” Luke felt his leg jiggle uncontrollably as the woman studied the letter, her frown deepening with each line. The prospect of spending three years at university with an ID card that read ‘Lucy Miller, female’ filled Luke with dread- but so did the prospect of the woman calling Mr. Croft down to reception and discussing the situation in front of everyone present…

“…Okay,” the woman said, before pressing a few buttons on her machine. A few seconds later, she handed Luke a small, laminated card that made him smile when he saw what was written on it.

Name: Luke Miller
Date of birth: 22/03/2001
Gender: M
Expires: 30/06/2022

“Like it?” Luke asked his sister with a wide grin as he showed off his new card.

“I will do when I get one of my own!” Lucy chuckled as she approached the desk, her own documents in hand.

“Hi,” the woman said, letting out a quiet sigh as she took Lucy’s paperwork from her. “I suppose you have a letter from the admissions secretary as well?”

“Well- umm- yes…” Lucy mumbled, her entire body tensing up as she suddenly felt several pairs of eyes turn her way- including the angry eyes of her brother. All of a sudden, Lucy felt very exposed- she had been casually outed by an employee of the university less than 30 minutes after setting foot in the building, and everyone would now be asking questions- not to mention whispering, and giggling…

“Here you go,” the woman said, handing Lucy her ID card. Even though the details on it gave her name as 'Lucy Miller' and her gender as 'F', Lucy still felt self-conscious as she slipped it into her purse, imagining every pair of eyes in the building following her as she walked back to the corner where her brother was stood, his face contorted into a scowl and his body almost quivering with rage.

“Better get used to THAT, I suppose,” Lucy mumbled, frowning as her brother rolled his eyes.

“Well I don’t plan on getting used to that!” Luke sneered. “I can’t believe she just said that! There’s got to be someone we can complain to, right? ‘Cause I don’t plan on spending the next three years being treated like THAT.”

“Well we- we can look into that later,” Lucy sighed. “Still got, like, the library to register for, and the student union, and there’ll probably be someone there who can help, right?”

“Well- I guess,” Luke said with a sigh as Susie approached with her ID in hand.

“Hey, you two,” the ginger haired girl said with a sympathetic smile. “I kinda heard what just happened…”

“You and everyone else,” Lucy sighed. “On the plus side, I guess no one’s chasing us out with torches and pitchforks, like.”

“Not yet, anyway,” Luke snorted.

“Nah, no need to be pessimistic like that,” Susie said with a shrug. “I doubt anyone would realise what was so important about the letter anyway. Everyone’s, like, too busy with their own stuff to worry about either of you. Ehh… you know what I mean, I hope, like, you realise I didn’t mean that as an insult, but-“

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Luke said with a sad smile. “Just kinda hoped- heh, I dunno why, but I kinda hoped things would be, you know, easy? Like, we’d just come along here, get on with our own business without anyone, like, asking any awkward questions…”

“People will get used to us eventually,” Lucy said. “It’s probably just, like, teething problems, that sort of thing.”

“I’m not holding my breath…” Luke grumbled as he and the two girls made their way toward the university library.

After spending another 45 minutes in a queue at the library, during which both twins continued to feel out of place- and continued to hear whispers and giggles that they couldn't help but think were directed toward them- the twins received their brand-new library cards. Both Luke and Lucy were grateful that they only had to hand over their student IDs rather than the letter from the admissions secretary or worse yet, having to answer any awkward questions. With the morning’s tasks completed, the three teenagers headed toward one of the university’s many cafes for lunch, getting their meals and sitting at a small table at the side of the room- just as they’d done all throughout the previous two years at college.

“Aye, this makes a change, doesn’t it?” Luke snorted sarcastically as he picked at his burger.

“Meh, it’s still only our first day here, it’s not like we’ve had a chance to actually meet anyone yet,” Susie said with a shrug. “Once we’ve actually started on our course, like, maybe things will be different, I dunno.”

“Well- maybe,” Luke shrugged. “It’s not like anyone’s going out of their way to say ‘hi’ to us though, is it?”

“It’s not like we are either,” Lucy reminded her brother, who opened his mouth to reply, only to simply sigh and nod in agreement. “Though if we did, we’d have to, like, ‘explain’ ourselves, I guess.”

“Explain what?” Susie asked with a shrug. “That you’re a guy and a girl just starting university? I think most people can probably tell that already.”

“Aye,” Luke said. “But there’ll be plenty who won’t be able to tell which of us is the guy and which of us is the girl.”

“If that’s the case, then maybe they need to go back to kindergarten, never mind university,” Susie snorted, before grimacing. “You two- you two aren’t having second thoughts, are you? I mean, like, not just about, like, transitioning, but about uni, the whole thing, like?” Lucy bit her lip and shared a look with her brother as she pondered her answer.

She, like Luke, always had the option of abandoning her transition and simply attending university in the gender to which they were assigned at birth. But Lucy knew that her brother would never be willing to do that, and if that was the case, then neither was she. Nor was either twin likely to abandon their studies before they’d even started- they’d worked hard to earn admission to one of the most prestigious universities in the world, let alone the UK, and they deserved to be there just as much as anyone else. Living independently in the gender they truly identified with had been a dream of theirs since they were children, and just because the reality had included more hurdles than they'd expected, it didn’t mean that it would be any less worthwhile in the long run.

“…No,” Lucy replied firmly.

“HELL no,” Luke said. “This is who I’m meant to be, and where I’m meant to be, and if I have to take on the whole university to prove it, well, bring them on.”

“Atta boy!” Susie said with a giggle. “Though… Let’s not hope it’s TOO much of a fight, eh?”

“Fingers crossed,” Lucy chuckled nervously.

After the twins finished their lunch, they headed toward the university’s main Student Union building, once again finding themselves in the middle of a large crowd and feeling like they didn’t blend in. However, the twins took some comfort from the fact that the attention of the crowd wasn’t on them, but rather on the tall, dark-skinned young man at the front of the room.

“Hello Durham freshers!” The young man said in an ebullient London accent. “On behalf of the Student Union, I’d like to welcome you all to the uni. I’m seeing a lot of new faces out there, and a lot of nervous ones too!” The twins both bit their lips as they tried not to imagine the young man staring directly at them, followed by the rest of the crowd…

“Before I go on,” the young man continued, “I should probably introduce myself. My name’s Jerome Borden, I just graduated from the uni with a BA in politics and international relations last year, and I’m taking a year out before doing my master’s to act as the president of the Student Union. If you have any questions, feel free to come and speak to me or any member of the committee, our door is always open at any time of day. A lot of you are probably asking ‘what are the benefits to joining the SU?’. Well, I’m glad you asked, and I’ll let our events officer answer that question for you. Jess?”

“Hi everyone,” the young brown-haired woman said. “My name’s Jessica Corby, I’m the events officer for the Student Union, and I’d like to tell you about some of the things we have planned for this coming academic year!” As the young woman continued to speak, Luke and Lucy felt themselves both gradually tuning out her voice. As fun as the events and societies all sounded, the twins knew that if they signed up for them, they'd face the same problem they faced when getting their student IDs. As much as they wanted to kick back, have fun and forget about their ‘differences’, they knew that it would never be that easy, no matter how reassuring Jerome, Jessica and the rest of the Union sounded. Nonetheless, both Luke and Lucy had already made up their mind to sign up for the union, and with some trepidation, once the presentation was over, they joined the already-long queue. After a short wait, the twins approached the front of the queue, where Jerome was waiting for them with a wide grin on his face.

“Hi!” The tall, dark-skinned man said with a friendly voice. “Have you got your IDs?”

“Yep,” Luke replied nervously as he and Lucy handed over their freshly printed ID cards that prominently displayed their correct genders. The twins fidgeted as Jerome examined the cards, briefly frowning with confusion before a wide grin spread across his face.

“Ah, cool, are you two twins then?” Jerome asked, smirking as the two teenagers let out simultaneous relieved giggles.

“Ah- yeah, yes we are,” Lucy replied.

“And I’m guessing you’re from just down the road as well, going by your accents?” Jerome asked.

“Aye, Newcastle born and raised,” Luke said.

“Nice,” Jerome chuckled as he scanned the twins’ ID, before biting his lip as he glanced back and forth between the cards and the twins’ faces. Luke and Lucy both felt their bodies grow tenser and tenser as Jerome typed a note into his iPad, before reaching into a small folder behind his desk. “I- I’m going to give you something,” the dark-skinned man said hesitantly. “If I’m making the wrong assumption, just- just feel free to throw these away, we can always print more, but if- if these are any use to you, then please take them.” Luke and Lucy frowned with confusion as Jerome handed them each a small pamphlet, before feeling their entire bodies tense up as they saw the words ‘Durham University LGBT Society’ printed at the top in colourful letters that the twins felt could be seen from a mile away.

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled, before she and Luke hastily hurried away from the table to a secluded corner of the room, where they both let out long groans of frustration.

“Typical!” Luke spat.

“I- I’m sure he didn’t mean anything, you know, nasty by it,” Lucy whispered. “I’m sure he thought he was, you know, helping…”

“Some help,” Luke snorted. “He might as well have given us a sign saying ‘look at the freaks’ and told us to hold it over our heads or something.”

“Well- well it doesn’t mean we’d HAVE to hold it,” Lucy said. “And, you know, we were going to check out the LGBT society tomorrow anyway, weren’t we?”

“Well- aye, I guess,” Luke mumbled. “Ugh, I dunno, I- I just want to, you know, be a guy, like, a normal guy, not, like, a trans guy… I just want to be male first, transgender second, if that makes any sense?”

“Well- yeah, I mean, this IS me you’re talking to, remember?” Lucy replied as she gestured to the skirt that was hanging from her waist. “But this- I’m sure this is just, you know, teething pains or something. Give it a couple of weeks and it’ll be like we’ve been here forever. You’ll see.”

“Not sure I’ve got the patience to wait that long,” Luke scoffed, making his sister frown- as much as she loved Luke, she didn’t always love his temper, and she had noticed that it had got worse over the previous months. She’d hoped that Luke being able to be the boy he truly was inside would’ve eased his stress, but if anything, Luke had only seemed to get angrier since starting university. Lucy could hardly blame her brother for his anger, though- she’d felt just as tense when Jerome handed her the leaflet, regardless of how he intended the gesture.

“Hey you two!” Susie said with a grin as she approached the pair, which faded when she saw the frowns on their faces. “What- what’s up?”

“This is,” Lucy sighed, handing Susie the leaflet, only to frown when the smile returned to the ginger-haired girl’s face.

“Ah, this is cool!” Susie giggled. “You said you were going to sign up, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-“ Lucy replied.

“It- it’s kinda, you know…” Luke continued, before sighing angrily. “He just, like, handed it to us without even asking, like, we’re THAT obvious, you know?” Luke and Lucy both frowned as their friend barely suppressed a giggle. “…What?”

“Oh- I’m, sorry, it-“ Susie replied. “It’s kinda cute the way you two finish each other’s sentences like that, that’s all…”

“Funny,” Luke snorted, before sighing and sitting down on the floor, closely followed by his sister and his friend. “I just- ugh. I dunno. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy any more than I want them, you know, pointing and laughing at us, I guess.”

“Ehh, I get that, I suppose,” Susie shrugged. “Still, though, ‘sympathy’ isn’t the same thing as ‘friendship’, is it?”

“Well- I guess not,” Luke replied with a shrug. “And you’re right, I DO want to check out the LGBT society. Knowing our luck though, even there we’ll be singled out…”

“Well, there’ll be at least one person there who’ll be on your side,” Susie said, giggling and rolling her eyes as the twins frowned. “Umm, me? Like, I fancy women, that qualifies me at least as ‘B’, right? Even if I identify as ‘P’, like.”

“Well- true,” Lucy said, a smile slowly spreading across her and her brother’s face. “And I’m sure Jerome is actually on our side, he’s just, like, getting used to his new role just like we’re getting used to ours. BOTH our new roles, heh.”

“Well- I guess,” Luke shrugged.

“And he probably knows a few things about being on the receiving end of discrimination, too,” Susie said in a quiet whisper.

“…Also true,” Luke mumbled, before letting out a long, tired sigh. “I don’t want ‘being a victim’ to be the only thing we have in common, though.”

“Don’t think any of us do,” Lucy sighed. “But, like, we’ll make new friends when we sign up for the LGBT society tomorrow.”

“Most if not all of whom will have been victims too,” Luke reminded his sister, who could only frown and nod in reply as the excitement in the room continued around them.

Once all the freshers in the room had met with Jerome or one of the other union officers, the tall, dark-skinned man returned to the front of the room and addressed the crowd again.

“Okay, thank you all for coming today,” Jerome announced. “And many thanks to all those of you who signed up too! If you’re still on the fence, you can join the union at any time, just drop me or any of the committee an email and we’ll get you sorted. In the meantime, I hope you all had a great first day here at the uni! We’re all heading to the union bar now and you’re all welcome to join us, even if it might get a bit cramped in there! If it helps, though, for tonight only all union members get a 20% discount on all drinks bought at the bar!” Most of the students in the room cheered at this announcement and gradually made their way out of the large room, heading as one in the direction of the bar. Luke and Lucy, however, weren’t as enthusiastic as their peers- something their friend quickly picked up on.

“Okay, so are we heading to the bar then?” Susie asked, hoping to cheer her friends up but at the same time taking care not to sound insensitive to the anxiety they'd experienced.

“Ehh, I suppose?” Lucy replied, sighing as her friend frowned. “…What?”

“It- ehh, never mind,” Susie sighed. “I was going to say you could maybe be a bit more enthusiastic, but- never mind.”

“Yeah, hard to feel enthusiastic about being found out by literally everybody in that bar,” Luke snorted.

“Though we- we did choose, all three of us, to live away at uni for a reason,” Lucy said. “I mean, like, Newcastle’s only a short train ride away, we could easily have travelled back and forth every day, but we- we came here so we could be the REAL us. And I- ugh. I don’t want to, you know…”

“Don’t want to what?” Luke asked.

“Don’t want the ‘real me’ to spend all her time holed up in her room,” Lucy replied. “But you- you’re right, maybe, like, take it slow for the first few days, wait until we’ve made a few more friends… Ehh, no offence, Susie.”

“Ah- trust me, none taken,” the ginger girl chuckled. “I’m- I mean, I’d be kinda nervous too, not just in your, like, ‘situation’, but- heh. I am a TOTAL lightweight when it comes to booze, and, like, just a few drinks, I try to snog the wrong person, and- well, yep.”

“You’re kinda not in the same boat as us, though,” Luke snapped, before grimacing. “I- I'm sorry. And I do get what you mean.”

“Once we get signed up with the LGBT society, then things will get better,” Lucy said confidently. “Then we’ll have somewhere that we know is a safe space.”

“It’s just shit that we even need a safe space in the first place,” Luke sighed. “Even if we are, like, overreacting to Jerome, it- ugh.”

“I know what you mean,” Susie sighed as she and the twins started heading in the opposite direction to the rest of the crowd. “So… dinner then back to our rooms for some reading, then?”

“Aye, works for me,” Lucy replied with a heavy sigh, taking one last glance back at the crowd heading to the bar before following her brother and her friend to the cafeteria.

After a quick dinner, the three teenagers spent the evening in Lucy’s room, alternating between reading material for the course and watching Netflix. The trio headed to bed just before 11pm, though neither of the twins slept much that night, both of them wondering whether they’d ever be able to enjoy the social life of their classmates, whether they’d have to hide the ‘real them’ forever- and whether they’d ever have to hide behind their birth genders again…

The following morning, the twins woke up early, and just as they had done the previous morning, pulled on their hoodies, with Luke opting for the same pair of slouchy jeans while Lucy pulled on a short denim skirt over her black tights. Luke and Lucy met with Susie for breakfast, and while they talked at length about their course, none of them brought up their encounter with Jerome the previous afternoon. After their bellies were full, the trio headed toward the nearby lecture hall for their first ‘official’ day at university.

When Luke, Lucy and Susie arrived at the lecture hall, they were unsurprised to discover it already more than half full, with many of the seats near the back already taken. With nervous grimaces, Luke and Lucy headed up the stairs toward a free row of seats halfway up. With each step, the twins grew more and more anxious as they heard the familiar sounds of whispers and giggles around them- sounds they had already started to grow accustomed to, and that they knew consciously would only be due to anticipation about the upcoming lecture, but which they still couldn't help but think were directed at them. The twins consoled themselves with the fact that everyone there was there for the same reason, and that was to learn, not to point and laugh at them. Nevertheless, they couldn’t help but shrink into their seats whenever anyone else passed them and glanced in their direction.

The lecture lasted for an hour and 20 minutes, at the end of which both Luke & Lucy’s brains were frazzled with both the information they had to take in, and the knowledge that it was merely lesson one of a three-year course. At a loose end until the afternoon, Luke, Lucy and Susie headed to the library to do more reading for their course, before heading to lunch at the same cafe they'd visited the previous day, instinctively heading to the same out of the way table they'd previously sat at.

“Okay,” Lucy mused as she tucked into her sandwich. “Beginning to think we’ve maybe bitten off more than we can chew, heh!”

“Meh,” Susie shrugged. “It doesn’t seem all THAT much harder than what we were doing at A level. Oh- umm, unless- unless you mean, well, you know…?”

“…A bit of both,” Lucy mumbled in reply. “I mean, like, no one seemed to, you know, ‘notice’ during the lecture, did they?”

“I didn’t notice anyone ‘noticing’,” Luke said. “Then again, I was trying hard not to, well, ‘notice’, if you get what I mean.”

“I guess,” Susie shrugged. “Feeling a bit more positive than last night, then?”

“Meh, a bit,” Luke replied. “But, like, no one was ever going to say anything in a packed lecture hall, were they? They’d probably get thrown off the course completely.”

“No one’s saying anything in a packed lunch hall, either,” Lucy reminded her brother. “And besides, even if people are, well, ‘looking’, I’m sure they’ll get used to us soon enough.”

“The sooner the better,” Luke mumbled, before frowning as he remembered one thing- with the exception of Susie and to a lesser extent Jerome, they hadn’t actually interacted with anyone else at the university, instead keeping themselves to themselves. And while Luke had no problem with staying under everyone else’s radar, even he was forced to admit that he couldn’t expect people to get used to him if he wasn't giving them anything to get used to.

Both twins, however, were excited by the prospects the afternoon would bring- specifically, the chance to make new friends. Once they’d finished their meal, they eagerly made their way to the Student Union building, where the student union displays had been replaced by a large number of stalls advertising a myriad of different special interest societies. Both Luke and Lucy felt genuinely excited at the sight of all of the societies, at the many chances to make new friends and new hobbies, but it was one society in particular that caught their attention, which they and Susie made a beeline to once they entered the hall.

“Hi!” The tall blond man said in a soft east midlands accent to the trio as they approached the stall, behind which was a multitude of flags including a rainbow flag and a blue, pink and white flag that had come to mean a lot to Luke and Lucy over the previous few months. “Are you interested in joining the LGBT society?” Luke and Lucy momentarily froze at the blunt nature of the young man’s question, wondering whether or not he’d ‘sussed’ them as easily as Jerome had the previous day. It took them several seconds to realise that in this instance, it wasn’t an unfair question- they were, after all, stood at the society’s booth and were there specifically to join the society, after all.

“Umm, aye!” Susie said, breaking the awkward silence that the question had triggered. “Do you- do you need to know which, umm, which ‘letter’ we are?”

“Not if you’re not comfortable telling us,” the blond man said with a warm smile. “I’m Rick, by the way, Rick Collins. I graduated from the uni last year and I’m sticking around to help run the society this year. And I don’t mind telling you I’m, well, ‘G’, hehe!”

“I’m Susie Parker,” Susie said with a grin. “And I suppose I’m technically ‘B’, but I think of myself more as pansexual.”

“’P’ it is, then!” Rick said. “There’s room for every letter of the alphabet in our society, hehe!” Luke and Lucy both fidgeted awkwardly as Susie finished filling in her details, neither twin wanting to single themselves out as they began to imagine the whole room staring at them, just waiting for them to approach the booth and ‘out’ themselves. After a brief pause while Rick smiled supportively at the two of them, Lucy took a deep breath and stepped toward the table… Only to freeze when she heard a giggle from behind her.

“I knew it,” a loud whisper said, making Lucy freeze on the spot. She whipped her head round to try to find the source of the whisper, only to frown with embarrassment as she noticed a group of four girls stare in her direction with wide grins on their faces, only to turn away and giggle when their eyes met Lucy’s. Lucy closed her eyes and tried not to weep as she prayed for the ground to open up and swallow her whole, before letting out a startled yelp as she felt another hand close around hers- though much to her surprise, the hand didn't belong to her brother.

“It’s okay, honey,” Rick said gently as he gave Lucy’s hand a gentle squeeze. “They’ve been there all afternoon, some people with a mental age of five think it’s funny to laugh at other people!” Lucy giggled as Rick raised his voice toward the end of his sentence, earning angry sneers from the group of girls that washed over him like they were nothing. “I’ve messaged Jerome to see if he can send someone down to get rid of them, but he hasn’t messaged me back yet.”

“Yeah,” Lucy whispered, frowning at the mention of the Student Union’s president’s name- something that didn’t go unnoticed by Rick.

“Wh-do you have some kind of a problem with Jerome?” The blond man asked, before scrunching his face into a tight grimace. “Oh, please tell me it’s not ‘cause he’s black…”

“Ah- no, not at all,” Lucy hastily replied. “We- we’ve got no problem with race trust me! It’s just- ugh. Yesterday, at the SU sign-up thing, he- he gave us a pamphlet for your society. Without, like, without even asking us, he just, like, assumed…”

“Ugh, Jerome…” Rick sighed with an overdramatic shake of his head. “I- I can guarantee you he did NOT mean to offend you, he would’ve only given you those pamphlets if he thought he was helping you. Though I am going to have a word with him about jumping to conclusions, trust me!”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy chuckled as she finished filling in her details on the form, only to hesitate before turning away from the booth, for fear that the gang of girls were still there.

“It’s okay, they’ve moved on,” Rick reassured the young woman. “I think maybe I scared them away for you, hehe! Either that or they’re jealous that you rock a denim mini far better than they ever could!”

“Heh, thanks,” Lucy said, blushing as a smile started to spread across her face, before stepping back to allow her brother to step up to the desk.

“H- hi,” Luke said nervously, glancing over his shoulder as he began filling in his registration form.

“Hi!” Rick replied with a wide grin that Luke soon mirrored. “Are you three friends, then, like from secondary school or college? I’m just asking ‘cause of your accents, heh.”

“Umm, us and Susie, aye,” Luke replied. “Me and Lucy, we- we’ve known each other a bit longer than that, heh!”

“We- we’re twins,” Lucy explained, blushing even deeper as Rick squeaked excitedly.

“Ah, that is so cool!” The tall young man enthused. “So you’ve known each other your whole lives plus nine months, then?”

“Something like that,” Luke mumbled, his smile widening, before deepening into a frown as he paused, expecting a question from the taller man. “I- I’m sorry, I was- I was kinda, you know, expecting you to ask a question…”

“I’m not going to ask anything you’re not comfortable answering,” Rick shrugged. “And given that I’ve only known you, like, three minutes, I don’t know you well enough to know what you are and aren’t comfortable answering, so I figure best to err on the side of caution.”

“Heh, thanks,” Luke chuckled bashfully.

“Hopefully, we’ll get to know each other a bit better in the next few months,” Rick said with a smile as Luke bit his lip.

“Yeah, umm,” Luke mumbled. “You’re kinda- kinda assuming too…”

“Oh- oh god, no, I didn’t mean it like THAT!” Rick said flapping his hands anxiously. “I do have a boyfriend, heh, though I- heh. No assumptions, heh.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled. “I’m kinda not looking right now anyway, heh.”

“Well, other than looking for new friends,” Lucy interjected.

“Well, you’ll definitely find those here,” Rick said with a smile. “You can never have too many, right?”

“Oh, you- you’re an Angels fan too?” Lucy asked.

“Well, duh!” Rick chuckled. “Though in my mind I’ve promoted them all from 'angels' to ‘goddesses’, heh! I don’t think there’s an official university fan club, though… Maybe someone should found one?”

“Yeah, maybe- maybe next September!” Lucy chuckled. “Do you- do you have any, you know, recommendations for, like, ‘friendly’ societies? Like, for people like us?”

“They should all be,” Rick replied after a moment’s thought. “Though I admit that’s emphasis on ‘should’. All I can recommend is to, well, put yourself out there. Make friends, get to know people… If you do run into any, well, ‘giggling toddlers’, just come to me or Jerome, we’ve got your back.”

“Heh, thanks,” Luke said, genuinely relaxing for the first time since setting foot in the university.

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, grinning bashfully as Rick beamed a wide, genuine smile at the trio as they moved away. However, as hard as she tried to focus on the positives, like Rick's unconditional support, the teasing Lucy had been subjected to gnawed away at the back of her mind.

For the first time ever, she’d faced active discrimination simply for being who she was, and it cut her deeply. It wasn’t even anything 'major'- just a few giggles and sneers- but to Lucy it may as well have been a blow to the face. It was a reminder that she was an outsider, that she was different, that there will always be those who believed that she didn’t deserve to live the life that she wanted to, or even needed to live. And worst of all, in Lucy’s mind, it was just a taste of things to come. One day, giggling, the next day, teasing, the next day, even worse. All of a sudden, the skirt that Lucy had been excited to wear to university started to feel very uncomfortable.

“Hey,” Luke whispered to his sister. “You okay?”

“Meh, I guess,” Lucy replied with a shrug, before sighing. “…No. Ugh, I- I dunno. I mean, we’ve been literally braced for the worst-case scenario ever since we got here, and, like, that was barely anything, but still…”

“Yeah, well, try to remember that you’re not alone, okay?” Susie said softly. “You’ve got us and now you’ve got Rick as well, and I’m sure the rest of the society will be on our side too. Not ‘your side’- OUR side.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered.

“And it wasn’t ‘barely anything’ if it made you upset,” Luke insisted. “You’re a girl, just like I’m a boy, and if anyone thinks that’s funny, or if anyone wants to disagree, I’m more than happy to change their minds for them.” Luke bit his lip as he tried to reassure his sister- the teasing Lucy had faced had hurt him just as much as it had hurt her, but unlike Lucy, Luke had had to physically restrain himself from confronting the girls.

“Thanks,” Lucy chuckled. “Wouldn’t kill me to grow a thicker skin, though.”

“Well, maybe, maybe not,” Luke said. “But like Susie says, we’re not alone. If we get worse heading our way, we’ll deal with it together. If we get nothing else, we’ll still deal with it together. Right?”

“Right,” Lucy replied with a grin. “Always!”

“We- we’re going to have a look at some of the other societies,” Susie said. “You coming?”

“I- I’m going to sit down for a bit,” Lucy said softly. “Just going to, you know, read up on the LGBT society a bit. I’ll catch you up.”

“Are- are you sure?” Luke asked.

“I’ll be fine, honestly,” Lucy said with a smile that immediately fell as her brother and her friend walked away. Still feeling self-conscious following the confrontation, Lucy slunk off to a small seating area at the side of the room, where she sat down and started checking the LGBT society’s page on the university website on her phone. She was only alone for a few seconds, however, when she became aware of someone standing over her- and it wasn't her brother or her friend.

“E- excuse me?” The young dark-skinned woman asked with a mild Indian accent. “Is- is anyone sitting with you?”

“Umm,” Lucy mumbled as she felt her body tense up. She braced herself for more teasing, more giggling and potentially even worse, but she quickly reasoned that anyone who wanted to make fun of her probably wouldn’t ask for permission beforehand. Also, the fact that the Indian girl looked just as anxious as Lucy felt hinted that she probably wasn’t there to cause trouble after all. “…Sure, have a seat.”

“Th- thanks,” the Indian girl said, elegantly lowering herself into the seat next to Lucy. “I- I’m Priya, by the way.”

“Lucy,” the tall transgirl replied, before biting her lip as an awkward silence fell over the two of them. “What- umm, what subject are you studying?”

“Economics,” Priya replied with a smile. “I actually- I actually won a scholarship last year, heh.”

“Lucky you!” Lucy chuckled. “I- I’m studying biochemistry, me, my brother and our best friend are all on the same course.”

“Ah, that’s cool!” Priya said with a nervous chuckle. “So are you- are you and your brother twins?”

“Yep,” Lucy replied. “Umm, do you- do you have any siblings?”

“A brother and a sister,” Priya replied. “Though not twins, my brother’s four years older than me, my sister’s 16 months younger, so we’re not in the same school year.”

“Ah,” Lucy said, leading to another awkward silence. “What- umm, what part of the world are you from?”

“London,” Priya replied with a sad smile.

“Ah, cool,” Lucy said. “I mean, umm, what part of- where were you born?”

“…London,” Priya replied more firmly, frowning as Lucy grimaced. “If you mean ‘where was my family originally from’, then the answer is Kolkata, but I’ve only spent, like, a total of three, maybe four months of my life in India.”

“Ah- sorry…” Lucy mumbled as her cheeks turned red. “Ugh, can’t believe I’ve been mistaken for racist like, twice in five minutes…”

“Especially-“ Priya said, before biting her lip and continuing cautiously. “Especially as, well, you were on the receiving end of discrimination just now too.” The Indian girl tried to smile sympathetically at Lucy, but all the transgirl wanted to do at that moment was crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.

“You saw,” Lucy mumbled.

“I did,” Priya whispered.

“How- how many other people saw?” Lucy asked, closing her eyes as she dreaded the answer.

“I don’t know,” Priya replied, before sighing. “Lucy, I- I don’t want you to think that I’m being, you know, condescending or anything, but- ugh. Earlier, I- I said I have one sister. While that’s technically true, I- I feel like I actually have, like, seven. Back in London, I- I kinda have, like, a ‘clique’, a gang- not ‘gang’, but you know what I mean- of girls. Two… Two of the girls were transgender. And I don’t want to seem like I’m jumping to conclusions, I mean, I swear I probably wouldn’t even have noticed if it wasn’t for those girls-“

“I-ugh,” Lucy interrupted. “You’re not being condescending, but I- I don’t want pity either.”

“Do you want a friend?” Priya asked, smiling sympathetically as Lucy was unable to answer her question. “’Cause I know first-hand what it’s like to be discriminated against.” Lucy bit her lip as she instinctively knew that was the Indian girl was saying was true.

“So- so what are you saying?” Lucy asked. “We can be, like, outcasts together?”

“Well I’d rather be- well, ‘incasts’ in a group of friends I really like,” Priya replied. “I said earlier that I have two transgender friends in London, and I- I haven’t always been kind, or as kind as I should have been, to the younger of the two girls. I dunno if it’s because she was, like, nearly three years younger than me, but- yeah. Really don’t to make the same mistake twice. So, well, bottom line… Want to be friends?” Lucy paused as she pondered the Indian girl’s request. She didn’t doubt that she was being sincere in her request, but at the same time, Lucy didn’t want to only make friends with people who felt sorry for her- or even with people who only made friends with her just because she was transgender. Lucy wanted friends who liked her for who she was, like Susie did. However, every time she tried to think of a reason to decline Priya’s request, one saying, one catchphrase ran around her head over and over again.

“…You can never have too many friends, right?” Lucy asked, giggling as her new friend let out a squeak of excitement.

“Oh, you’re a fan of the Angels too?” Priya asked.

“Well, duh!” Lucy giggled, slowly starting to relax as she started to put the other girls' discrimination behind her.

“I- I didn’t want to assume,” Priya mumbled. “Like, with it being a cliché and all that, heh.”

“It’s okay,” Lucy shrugged. “I- I actually met Jamie-Lee, like, this summer just gone. We went down to London for AngelCon and- yeah. Greatest couple of days of my life, heh.”

“Yeah, we were at AngelCon too, all eight of us,” Priya said. “Though if we’re comparing ‘Angel brags’, I DID study ballet for four years at the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance…”

“Oh- no way, really?” Lucy asked, giggling as her new friend smiled smugly.

“Yep,” Priya said. “I quit when I was sixteen, I was never really good enough to go professional, not like my sister, but I- I still really, really love dancing. Have you- have you ever taken any dance lessons?”

“Ah- no, HELL no,” Lucy chuckled. “My- ugh. My dad and my granddad’s heads would probably explode if they ever saw me go anywhere near a ballet class. Heh, we’ve never even seen Billy Elliott, despite being from the same part of the world, heh!”

“Heh,” Priya chuckled. “Did wonder if I was being quote-unquote ‘racist’ there, heh.”

“Think you’re on safe ground,” Lucy replied, sharing a giggle with her new friend.

“I- I’m actually on my way to sign up for the dance society,” Priya said. “I mean, it’s been a while since I last danced en pointe, but I did bring my pointe shoes with me, and it’s good exercise… Do- do you want to, umm, you know… Come along with me?” Lucy looked at her new friend with a mixture of surprise and horror on her face. It didn't take long for Lucy to ponder her reply.

“Oh, I- I really, REALLY can’t dance,” Lucy babbled. “I- I told you I’ve never taken any lessons, before, I’d be hopeless, I’d-“

“They have loads of different types of classes within the society,” Priya interrupted. “Including classes for absolute beginners, I’m not just, like, signing up for advanced ballet, but I’ve always wanted to try street dancing, so I’m signing up for the beginner class there too, and- and I have asked another girl on my course if she wants to sign up too, she’s had no formal classes either so- yeah. You really, really wouldn’t be alone.” Lucy bit her lip as she more carefully considered her reply. Within minutes, she’d gone from feeling like the worst person in the world to gaining a new friend with the potential for even more. And the truth was, as stereotypical as it may have been, Lucy DID like the sound of the beginner dance class. At school, she’d grown to envy the girls who regularly made up dance routines during their playtime, and had always wanted to be part of a group like that. And now, that acceptance was being handed to her on a plate. And yet, as convinced as she was by Priya’s sincerity, there were still concerns in the back of her mind. What if any of the girls who'd bullied her were in the group too? What if she made a fool of herself in her first class? As Lucy asked herself these questions, however, she came to a revelation- they were all questions she’d asked herself before.

What if going to university as a girl would lead to her being discriminated against, or worse? Well, for Lucy, that question had already been answered: she’d receive the support of friends, both old and new, and figures of authority like Jerome or Rick. What if she made a fool or herself wearing a skirt, or make-up, or anything else feminine? Well, she hadn’t. Sure, some idiots had found it funny, but the vast majority of the students had treated her as nothing out of the ordinary. Despite what had happened, taking the plunge and attending university as ‘Lucy’ had paid off for her so far. Lucy decided that she may as well take another 'plunge'.

“…Sure, why not?” Lucy replied, earning another excited squeak from her new friend as they headed through the crowd.

As Lucy was making her new friend, Luke and Susie were stood looking at the queue for another of the university’s many societies- one that had stood out to them more than any of the others. And judging by the length of the queue, they weren't alone in feeling that way.

“Are you sure you’re sure about this?” Susie asked her friend, who fidgeted nervously.

“Yep,” Luke replied bluntly, though internally, he was far from certain. At a slender 5’ 4”, he was dwarfed by most of the men surrounding him, but that didn’t deter him- he loved football, and he wanted to play the sport for the university. Whether or not he actually could, though, was a question Luke found himself unable to answer.

Even if he signed up for the society, Luke didn’t expect to make the university's first team, but he was determined to give it a go nonetheless, reasoning that if he couldn’t prove himself as a footballer, he’d at least go some way toward proving himself as a man. However, with each step that brought him closer to the sign-up form, he grew less and less confident. After all, just because you played football, or even liked it, it didn't make you a man. Even if you played on a team with other men, it didn't mean they had to accept you as one of them. Luke wasn't even sure that it meant he'd be able to accept himself as a man...

“H- hi,” a young man with a soft Geordie accent said from behind Luke and Susie, momentarily startling the two teenagers. Luke forced a smile on his face as he turned around to greet the dark-haired newcomer.

“Oh, umm, hi,” Luke said, trying not to frown at losing his train of thought.

“Are you- are you looking at the football society too, then?” The young man asked.

“Meh, maybe,” Luke replied. “I- I never really played much at school, so maybe- maybe just as a fan, heh.”

“Yeah, same here,” the young man said with a sad sigh. “I- I’m Gavin, by the way, Gavin Penny.”

“Luke Miller,” Luke replied. “This is my friend Susie.”

“Nice to meet you,” the ginger girl said with a warm smile. “Are you from Newcastle too?”

“Aye,” Gavin replied with a proud grin. “Lifelong Toon fan and proud, heh!”

“Same here,” Luke said, gesturing to himself and Susie. “Which college did you go to?”

“Umm, Newcastle College, Scotswood Road,” Gavin replied. “I’m doing modern art.”

“Yeah, our college was on the other side of the city,” Susie said. “And we’re doing biochemistry, so- yeah. Not a lot in common, heh!”

“Apart from the most important thing?” Gavin asked, smirking as his two new friends both nodded in agreement. “And- heh, and umm, kinda something else, too… I- I don’t want to assume, but are- are you-“ Luke felt his entire body tense up as he awaited Gavin’s question. While, like Lucy, he’d braced himself for the possibility of being ‘clocked’, he was no less anxious when the time finally arrived. Luke tried to console himself with the fact that Gavin was at least asking out of curiosity, and seemingly without malice, but he still felt his body tense up- and still felt guilty that his sister had had it far worse than he did…

“Are you-“ Gavin continued to stammer. “Are you two a couple?” Luke felt his entire body decompress as the question was asked, before smiling and shaking his head.

“Nah,” Luke replied. “We- we’re just friends, that’s all.”

“Ah,” Gavin said with a smile. “I kinda- I kinda thought, ‘cause I- I saw you at the LGBT society booth, and I’m kinda- kinda, well, ‘G’.”

“Ah, okay,” Luke replied.

“Yeah, I’m- well, if I only had those four letters to pick from, I’d be ‘B’,” Susie said with a smirk.

“Also- also ‘B’,” Luke said. “And, umm… And, umm, ‘T’ as well…” Luke grimaced as a look of shock spread across Gavin’s face, followed by a wide grin.

“Okay,” the dark-haired young man said. “Now THAT I would not have guessed!”

“What, really?” Luke asked skeptically. “Never mind the fact I’m, like, a foot shorter than most guys?”

“Last time I checked, being male wasn’t a rollercoaster,” Gavin shrugged. “As in, like, there’s no height limit.”

“Well- I guess,” Luke mumbled.

“And you should totally try out for the football team,” Gavin said, his smile widening as Luke’s frown deepened. “I’m serious! It’s about time the team got some ‘representation’.”

“…What team, the football team or ‘Team LGBT’?” Susie asked with a smirk.

“Why not both?” Gavin replied with a shrug that made Susie giggle, even as Luke continued to frown.

“Tell you what,” Luke said. “I’ll try out if you do.” This time, it was Gavin who frowned, bringing a look of confusion to Luke’s face.

“Much as I’d love to,” Gavin said quietly, “I doubt my multiple sclerosis would let me.”

“Oh- oh god, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Luke mumbled, his cheeks reddening as his new friend rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, I appreciate that, but I don’t really need your pity, thanks,” Gavin sighed. “MS doesn’t stop me from supporting the team, though. Nor does being G, B or, well T.”

“And no ‘letter’ should stop me from playing for them?” Luke asked, smirking as her new friend nodded. “Meh, okay, I’ll give it a go then, what’s the worst that can happen, like?” Other than being laughed out of the booth, Luke darkly thought to himself. Or beaten up, or spat at…

As much as he focussed on the worst-case scenarios, though, Luke remembered what his sister had said the previous evening- he couldn’t spend the whole three years at university holed up in his room. With a determined nod, Luke led his two friends to the queue for the football society, quickly reaching the front of the queue where a tall, good-looking blond-haired man was waiting for them.

“Hi!” The blond man said enthusiastically. “Are you just wanting information for the society, or do you want to try out?”

“I- I’d like to try out, please,” Luke replied confidently, before fidgeting as the blond man regarded him with a quizzical stare. “For the- for the men’s team.” Well done, Luke thought to himself with a grimace. THAT's not going to raise any eyebrows.

“…Okay,” the blond man said with a shrug as he handed Luke a form. “Just fill in your details and get them back to me, try-outs are Thursday afternoon. I’m James Thorn, team captain and head coach.”

“Thanks,” Luke said with a determined nod as he also picked up pamphlets for Susie and Gavin, before walking away with a confident smile on his face. Even if he didn’t make the team, he could still say that he’d tried. After all, like he’d said to his newest friend, no ‘letter’ should prevent him from doing the things he loved.

On the other side of the room, however, Lucy was feeling increasingly nervous as she and Priya headed toward the dance society’s booth, where the Indian girl greeted her course mate with a smile, while Lucy waved politely, conscious of the fact that she stood a full nine inches taller than both women.

“Hi Claudia!” Priya said with a giggle. “I twisted your arm, then?”

“Ye- yeah,” The petite blonde girl replied in her soft West Midlands accent, before turning to Lucy and biting her lip nervously. “H- hi, I’m- I’m Claudia, Claudia Chapman.”

“I’m Lucy Miller,” Lucy replied, cautiously extending a hand for the petite girl to shake, before smiling and leaning in for a hug instead, which Claudia happily returned. “So, umm, Priya persuaded you too, then?” Lucy couldn’t help but let out a quiet giggle as her new Indian friend chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah,” Claudia replied. “We- we sat next to each other in our first lecture, got talking… She mentioned that she did ballet in London, I said that I’ve never taken any dance lessons before, and here I am.”

“It wasn’t quite THAT quick,” Priya interjected. “But I am glad you’re both here, hehe! Shall we sign up?”

“Umm, sure!” Lucy replied, even though her stomach was almost churning at the prospect of putting her name down for the society- something not helped by the height difference.

“Hi!” The young woman stood at the dance society’s booth said as the trio approached. “I'm Laura, I'm the secretary for the university's dance societies. Are you interested in joining one of our classes?”

“Yep!” Priya replied with an excited giggle. “I’d like to join the pointe class and the beginner street dance class, please!”

“Okay,” Laura said, before letting out a grimace. “Ah, I- I’m afraid those two clash, the classes are both at the same time, so I’m afraid you’ll have to pick one or the other.” Lucy fidgeted as she saw the dilemma in Priya’s eyes- it would be just her luck to make a new friend who introduced her to a new hobby, only for the friend to abandon her less than ten minutes later, even if she had also just made another friend who’d be in the same boat.

“…Put me down for street dance,” Priya said with a warm smile that made Lucy breathe a quiet sigh of relief.

“Are you sure?” Laura asked.

“Positive,” Priya replied as she flashed a smile at her two new friends.

“Okay,” Laura said. “I’ll also pass your name along to advanced ballet if that’s okay, they don’t do pointe work, but you’ll be able to keep in practice at least.”

“That’d be great, thanks!” Priya said with a smile, before letting Claudia step up to the table.

“Hi!” Laura said to the petite blonde woman. “Are you three signing up together?”

“Ye- yeah, but I- I have literally zero dance experience,” Claudia replied.

“That’s absolutely okay,” Laura said with a warm, friendly smile. “We have classes for people of all skill levels, and I know for a fact Kacey, the teacher of the street dance class, is very friendly, I’m sure you’ll get on perfectly. It is beginner street you want to sign up for, right?”

“Umm, yeah,” Claudia replied, before giggling nervously as her student ID card was scanned. “Are we- are we going to have to wear, like, costumes, or special clothes or anything?”

“Not for street, not really,” Laura replied. “Even stage costumes are going to be, like, jeans and crop tops, that sort of thing. No fancy tutus, I’m afraid!”

“St- stage?” Claudia asked anxiously. Her anxiety, though, paled in comparison to the fear that suddenly gripped Lucy's body.

“Yes…” Laura replied, before smiling sympathetically at the petite woman's clear anxiety. “Though they can’t make you dance on stage if you don’t want to, but trust me when I say there is literally no other feeling like it!” I can think of a few, Lucy thought to herself as she had to fight off a wave of nausea.

“Yeah,” Claudia chuckled, before stepping aside and letting Lucy approach the desk. As she tried to walk forward, though, Lucy felt her legs freeze to the spot. It had taken her literally months just to be able to leave the house as the girl she really was, and had taken all of her strength and willpower to simply speak to Priya and agree to join the dance society. But dancing on stage? Putting herself in front of an audience, with the spotlight on her, and all of her flaws- her many, many masculine flaws- was another thing entirely. Especially as she’d been ridiculed not fifteen minutes before when she was merely keeping herself to herself…

“Hi?” Laura said, bringing Lucy’s attention back to the present. “Are you here to sign up for the street dance class too?”

“Hmm”? Lucy asked, before pausing as she considered her response. While Lucy was reluctant to subject herself to any further ridicule, she kept coming back to the fact that, just like she'd told her brother and her friend the previous night, she didn’t want to hide herself away her whole life. What little she knew of Priya and Claudia told her that they were decent girls who had the potential to become great friends, and while she had no intention of abandoning Luke or Susie, all three of them had come to the university with the intention of making new friends. And besides, dancing seemed like a lot of fun to Lucy. It would keep her fit, and better still, could give her ‘instructions’ on how to carry herself like a woman- something she’d only had a few days’ experience of, after all. “…Yes, I’d like to sign up for street class, please.”

“Cool!” Laura giggled. “Just scan your ID there, please.” Lucy grinned nervously as she scanned the card that proudly listed her gender as ‘female’, though her smile quickly turned into a frown.

“I- umm, I kinda have no dance experience either,” Lucy mumbled.

“Well, like I said to your friend, that’s not a problem,” Laura replied with a smile. “And we can cater to all shapes and sizes too, just because you’re nearly six feet tall, it doesn’t mean you can’t dance as well as anyone else, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy nervously chuckled as her panic levels rose again- if Laura had made the observation about her height, she must surely have noticed the other parts of her that were ‘unusually shaped’ for a girl, and while she herself may be sensitive enough to not say it out loud, she must surely have noticed the reason for the 'unusual shapes'. “I- umm, my- my other, you know, ‘thing’… Will that- will that be a problem?”

“Umm… What ‘thing’?” Laura asked, making Lucy grimace with frustration.

“My- my ‘thing’,” Lucy repeated, her heart racing as the other woman continued to look confused. “That I- I’m transgender.” Lucy bit her lip and braced herself for a backlash, but rather than look angry or disgusted, the blonde woman instead had a look of surprise on her face.

“Oh, you- really?” Laura asked. “I- I’d genuinely never have guessed!”

“Is it- is it a problem?” Lucy whispered anxiously.

“No, of course not!” Laura replied with a giggle. “It’s just- I really wouldn’t have been able to tell, you know?”

“Oh- come on, really…” Lucy mumbled.

“I’m serious!” Laura said with a supportive smile that made Lucy blush. “Though I admit, it’s not like I’d be, you know, looking or anything, but, you know, you’ve walked up to me wearing a skirt, and make-up, and with your hair… Only thing I’m going to think is ‘this is obviously a woman, why question it?’.”

“Heh,” Lucy chuckled quietly as a smile spread across her face. “Not- not everyone has thought that, though.”

“Ugh, have people been giving you a hard time about it?” Laura asked softly.

“Well- not as hard as it could be, I suppose,” Lucy sighed. “Just, you know, a bit of behind my back whispering, that sort of thing…”

“Still though, that’s not exactly going to help you,” Laura said. “Have you spoken to Rick at the LGBT society? He should be able to offer you a lot of help, and not just advice but practical help too.”

“Yeah, he- he kinda chased off a bunch of girls who were, you know, giggling…” Lucy mumbled.

“Sounds like Rick,” Laura said with a cheeky grin. “Well, if you ever have any trouble in this society- and you absolutely shouldn’t- let me know and I’ll do the ‘chasing’, hehe!”

“Thanks,” Lucy said with a smile as she took her paperwork from the table and headed back to where her new friends were standing.

“Is everything okay?” Priya asked. “You were kinda a while…”

“Y- yeah, everything’s fine,” Lucy chuckled, before taking a deep breath as she felt her whole body relax. “I just- I just wanted to make sure that I was, you know, okay with them, sort of thing.”

“Why wouldn’t you be okay with them?” Claudia innocently asked, frowning as her two new friends started to fidget.

“You- you didn’t tell her, then?” Lucy asked her Indian friend.

“When did I have the chance?” Priya retorted. “After we got talking we came straight here.”

“But- while I was talking to Laura?” Lucy asked.

“I’m not going to gossip about you behind your back when you’re literally ten feet away!” Priya replied with a forced-sounding chuckle that disguised her irritation at the implication.

“Seriously, guys,” Claudia interrupted. “What- what am I missing here?” Lucy and Priya both paused as they looked at each other hesitantly, before the taller girl spoke up.

“That I- ugh,” Lucy said with a sigh. “I guess I AM only going to have to tell you once, I- I’m transgender. Like, born male, but not anymore.”

“Wh- really?” Claudia asked, raising Lucy’s anxiety levels again. While virtually everybody she’d told had reacted positively to her, it would only take one person reacting negatively to potentially make her life a nightmare. Especially if they'd be in the same society together for three years...

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy replied as she squirmed.

“Huh, that’s cool,” Claudia said with a friendly smile.

“Umm, okay…” Lucy said hesitantly.

“What? It’s, like, 2019, why should it matter?” Claudia asked, smiling nervously as her new friends grinned widely at her. “…What?”

“I think this might be the start of a beautiful friendship,” Priya mused as she and her two new friends headed off to check out the rest of the societies together, Lucy beaming a wide, proud grin.

After roaming around the booths with their friends for another half an hour, the two groups rendezvoused at the LGBT society’s booth, where the twins introduced Claudia and Priya to Gavin and Susie, and most importantly, to each other. After chatting and getting to know each other for fifteen minutes, the group started to make their way away from the excited crowds.

“This has been fun!” Priya said with an excited giggle as the six teenagers left the hall. “What have you guys- sorry, guys and girls got planned now?”

“Umm, probably heading back to our rooms, maybe do a bit of reading, watch Netflix maybe,” Lucy replied with a shrug.

“You- you’re not going to the Student Union bar, then?” Claudia asked. “There’s another freshers’ night- heh, think there are freshers’ nights all this week.”

“Though it’ll have a hard time topping last night, right?” Priya said with a grin as Luke, Lucy and Susie all fidgeted uncomfortably. “…What?”

“We- we kinda, you know, stayed in last night,” Lucy replied. “In our rooms…” Lucy felt herself blush as her three new friends looked at her confusedly.

“Oh, you really missed- oh,” Priya said, her eyes widening as she realised the reason for the twins' reluctance.

“Y- yeah,” Lucy grimaced. “We’d have felt kinda- kinda, umm…”

“Exposed,” Luke interjected. “That’s probably the best word for it, heh.”

"Aye, I suppose I get why you might think that," Gavin said quietly. "But, like, we're all here for the same reason- well, reasons. To learn and to have fun. And the university DOES guarantee safe spaces like the bar for people like you and me." Gavin smirked as Priya and Claudia looked at him with confusion, before pointing to the rainbow badge on the strap of his backpack.

"They can't guarantee that no-one will be transphobic, though," Luke retorted. "Or homophobic. Or racist or anything like that."

"Well, in that case, we'll tell them where to go," Susie said. "If anybody hurts any of my friends, even if it's 'just' emotionally, I'll rip their arms off." A brief but awkward silence fell over the group as the twins started to fidget, both thinking the same thing.

"...Thought you were going to say a different body part to 'arms' there," Lucy said, smirking and blushing as her four friends all laughed not at her like the giggling girls from earlier, but with her, like the friends they were.

"Well, if you want me to do those too, I will!" Susie said, making the other five teenagers laugh even louder. "But only on people who piss us off."

"Agreed," Lucy said with a giggle as she, her brother and their friends made their way to the union bar.

A short while later, the group were sat around a small table in the union bar, and even though it was hot, noise and crowded, neither Luke nor Lucy wanted to be anywhere else at that moment in time.

“Cheers!” the six teenagers all toasted, clinking their glasses together before settling back into their seats.

“You have to admit,” Susie said to the twins quietly- or as quietly as she could in a crowded bar, anyway. “This is better than Netflix in our rooms, isn’t it?”

“Well…” Luke replied hesitantly as he glanced around the room. Despite his friends’ reassurance, he was still conscious of the fact that he was one of the shortest, if not THE shortest guy in the room. He was conscious of the fact that he and his sister had been ‘clocked’ twice in as many days, and no matter how dedicated the university was to promoting diversity, as he'd said earlier, they couldn’t guarantee that every student would be accepting or welcoming of them. However, Luke was forced to concede one fact- that he, Lucy and Susie had already made three good friends in the space of their first two days of study, and from what Lucy had told Luke, part of the reason for their friendship was because they were transgender. And even beyond Gavin, Priya and Claudia, the twins had a support mechanism in place in the shape of the societies they had joined, as well as the Student Union, despite Jerome’s initial faux pas. For the first time in a long while, Luke felt optimistic about his future. Even if he didn’t make the uni’s football team, he’d still have fun cheering the team on with Gavin and Susie. And watching his sister dancing, too…

“…Much better,” Luke said with a wide, genuine smile that his five friends mirrored. “So, Priya, how long have you been into dancing?”

“Umm, since I was twelve,” the Indian girl replied.

“Somebody had ballet taught to them by a bona fide Angel…” Claudia teased, making Priya blush as her friends all blushed.

“Oh, you were at Krystie Fullerton’s school?” Susie asked. “I heard that’s really exclusive, hard to get into.”

“Me and my sister signed up just after it opened in 2013, before the Angels were a 'thing',” Priya retorted. “At which point it became easy to get into only if you knew the right people, hehe!” Priya grinned as her friends all gave her good-natured jeers.

“And in fairness,” Susie chuckled, “if you ever see me in a pair of tights and a leotard, you have my permission to shoot me, heh!”

“Meh, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea,” Priya shrugged.

“You got THAT right,” Luke snorted, earning sympathetic smiles from his friends. “Eh, I’m okay. Not worn a pair of dance slippers in years, and I intend to keep it that way!”

“You’d look better in football boots, anyway,” Gavin said with a teasing smile.

“Though street dance is apparently just done in regular clothes and trainers,” Lucy said with a grin. “And it’s open to boys as well as girls…”

“I’ll pass, and you know why!” Luke said, smirking and shaking his head as his sister giggled, before the excitement levels at the table were increased by the arrival of a figure the twins had met earlier in the day.

“Hey, guys and gals!” Rick said with a playful grin. “I’m glad to see you’re all having a great time, but if I can just interrupt for a sec, I’ve had to drag someone over here who has something he’d like to say to you two…” Luke and Lucy both frowned and felt their anxiety levels rise as the blond man waggled a finger in their direction, before smirking as Jerome skulked up to their table with a nervous smile on his face.

“Hey guys,” the tall dark-skinned man said with a tired chuckle. “I- heh. It’s been brought to my attention that yesterday, I may have kinda been a bit unintentionally insensitive when talking to the both of you. For that, I humbly apologise- Rick’s spoken to me and explained the situation and- yep. I’m truly sorry for any offence I caused.”

“Apology accepted,” Lucy said softly.

“…Apology accepted,” Luke said, before smiling genuinely as Jerome breathed a sigh of relief.

“I mean, the more I think about it,” Jerome said, “it’s kinda like if someone just handed me a leaflet for the rap society, heh. Not that I don’t like rap music, but- yeah.”

“Or if someone handed me a flyer for a local curry house,” Priya said stoically.

“Well- exactly,” Jerome sighed. “Trust me when I say that I HATE discrimination of any kind, and I am absolutely mortified to think that I’m actually guilty of it. Even if it was unintentional, it doesn't excuse it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it,” Lucy said. “Like you said, it was unintentional, now you know not to do it again. And it’s not like we weren’t already planning on joining the society.”

“Heh, I guess,” Jerome said with a warm, friendly grin. “You should think about joining the SU committee next year, you know? Not- not in a, like, ‘affirmative action’ kind of way, but because you seem, you know, really mature.” Lucy giggled and bit her lip as her brother and friends teased her with playful jeers.

“I- I’ll think about it,” Lucy chuckled. “Want to just get settled in first, get a start on our coursework, that sort of thing.”

“Well, that’s fair enough,” Jerome chuckled. “I just hope you’ve had a warm welcome here at the uni.”

“Yeah…” Luke replied as he looked around the room again, but more specifically at his new friends- friends that as little as 24 hours ago, he thought he’d never make. While he was unsurprised that Lucy had made new friends, for the first time in a long while Luke was feeling optimistic that he and Lucy would go on to make many more friends, both on their course and in their societies. Friends who would accept them as the boy and girl they were, just as Susie did, just as Gavin did and just as Priya and Claudia did too. Luke was optimistic that while university would be hard work, it would also be fun for both himself and Lucy, and that they would finish their course as the man and woman they were destined to be.

However, both Luke and Lucy were realistic enough to know that the road ahead wouldn’t be smooth…

“Good!” The tall young man said as Luke effortlessly lobbed the ball back to him. “One more, come on.”

“Sure,” Luke replied, stopping the ball dead with his feet before chipping it back into his training partner’s hands.

“You sure you’ve never played on a team before?” Luke’s training partner, a young man named Darren, asked in his thick Yorkshire accent as he and Luke followed the rest of the team off of the pitch.

“Heh, I wish,” Luke snorted, thinking back to his time at secondary school, when his choice of sports teams included netball, hockey, gymnastics or nothing- the latter of which was far more appealing to Luke than pulling on a short, pleated skirt or squeezing his body into a skin-tight leotard. It had been bad enough that he’d had to wear a skirt the rest of the time he was at school, but much to his relief, those days had eventually ended. As Luke thought back on his first month at university, he realised that he’d genuinely never been happier- not because he was allowed to wear trousers, or play football, or not have to worry about his appearance, but because for what felt like the first time in his life, he no longer needed to put on an act.

While Luke still spent most of his time hanging out with Susie and his sister, he’d slowly started to make additional friends, some of whom he had become close with- especially those who had gone along to cheer Luke on at football practice.

“Nice one, mate!” Gavin playfully cheered as he gave Luke a fist bump on their way back to the changing room.

“Cheers Gav!” Luke chuckled. “Think I’m just about getting the hang of this, heh!”

“You’re a hell of a lot better than I’d be!” The thick Mancunian accent of Kieran Baxter chuckled as he gave Luke a friendly pat on the shoulder. Like Gavin, Kieran was a fan of the university’s football team and often watched the training sessions with him, but what surprised Luke and Gavin the most was that their first meeting with Kieran had been at the university's LGBT society.

In their first month at university, neither Luke nor Lucy had missed a single event organised by the LGBT society, thanks in part to Rick’s infectious enthusiasm for the events, but mostly because it was, apart from classes, the only opportunity Luke and Lucy had to hang out with each other and with Susie. While they still occasionally hung out in their rooms, the twins had gradually come out of their shells and socialised more with the other students at the university, with Luke's participation in football training sessions being just an example of that. However, as happy as he was to have a social life away from Susie and his sister, Luke still found himself relying more and more on the safe space provided by the LGBT society- especially as not everyone on the team was as welcoming of his presence as Darren.

“Alright, gay boys?” A young man with a similar accent to Darren's said with a snort of laughter as he jogged past the trio, making the three young men roll their eyes.

“…Well, I WAS going to make a joke about the old cliché of gay men not being able to play football,” Kieran sighed.

“Can he get away with saying that to us?” Gavin asked. “I mean, it’s technically not untrue for me and Kieran…” Luke fidgeted as he felt his two friends look expectantly at him- as much as the perceived insult offended him, there were several things preventing him from speaking out- not least the fact that he still didn’t want to draw any untoward attention to himself.

“I- ehh…” Luke sighed. “I don’t want to go running to Jerome or Rick every time someone calls me a name. I chose this life, I should, like, accept the consequences. And he’d probably just claim ‘freedom of speech’ anyway.”

“It doesn’t seem right to me that he has more freedom to be bigoted than we have to live free from bigotry,” Kieran snorted.

“Me either,” Luke sighed. “But, well, that’s just the way it is. And besides…”

“Besides… What?” Gavin asked.

“Besides… Ugh,” Luke spat. “He’s the star striker of the A side, I’m, like, a midfielder for the C side. Who do you think the team’s going to want to keep if it came down to me or him?”

“Well- maybe he’ll educate himself,” Gavin shrugged. “That is what you come to uni to do, isn’t it?”

“It’s what you’re supposed to do,” Kieran sighed. “But anyway, no matches this weekend so you don’t have to put up with him again until Tuesday.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled nervously.

“So… Union bar tonight, then?” Gavin asked, earning a smile and a nod from Kieran.

“I’ll have to check with Lucy first,” Luke replied.

“Just ‘cause you’re twins, it doesn’t mean you have to be permanently joined at the hip!” Gavin teased Luke, who rolled his eyes in response.

“Aye, I know,” the young transman retorted. “I just don’t like, you know, leaving her in the lurch, that’s all.” Luke bit his lip to try to hide the guilt that he felt at having a social life that didn’t involve his sister- however, as he often reminded himself, Lucy had made just as many friends as he had, if not more.

Lucy took a deep breath and adjusted her leggings and sports bra before stepping back into the middle of the dance studio, trying her hardest not to think about how the latter garment was ‘surplus to requirements’.

“Okay girls,” the class instructor, a young girl with a north-eastern accent named Kacey who was barely older than Lucy, ordered in an enthusiastic voice. “We’ll do bars one to four. And five, six, seven, eight…” Lucy grinned as she and the five girls beside her copied Kacey's steps, her grin widening as she kept up with the other girls, before the music stopped, and all six girls stepped to the side of the room to get their breath back.

“You were awesome,” Priya said reassuringly to the tall trans girl, before turning to the shorter girl next to her. “You too!”

“Thanks,” Claudia giggled bashfully. “I still feel, you know, REALLY self-conscious when I’m dancing, but- well, it IS a lot of fun, hehe!”

“Trust me, I know how you feel,” Lucy chuckled. “At least you don’t, you know, stand out…”

“And neither do you!” Kacey chastised the tall brown-haired girl, who giggled and blushed. “I’m serious, Lucy, for a beginner, you- you’re really good!”

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, before biting her lip. “Do- do you mean, like, as a dancer, or- or as a, you know, girl?”

“Honestly?” Kacey replied, smiling as Lucy nodded. “You’re a natural at both.”

“Seriously,” Priya concurred with a warm smile as the class began to disperse. “So… SU bar tonight, then?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Claudia replied with a giggle. “Though I can’t have too much to drink, my train back home leaves early tomorrow, so- yeah.”

“Yep, same here,” Priya chuckled. “Downside of living 250 miles away from home instead of just 20…” Priya smirked as she looked expectantly at Lucy, who simply fidgeted uncomfortably at the implication.

“Yeah, I- heh, might as well be a million miles away for me, dressed like this…” Lucy blushed and tried not to cry as her dark-skinned friend stopped in her tracks, cringing and almost bending double with embarrassment.

“Oh my GOD,” Priya moaned. “I- I’m SO sorry Lucy, I can’t believe I just said that…”

“It- it’s okay, really,” Lucy said, even as tears started to form in her eyes.

“No- no it isn’t,” Priya sighed. “I still have a LOT to learn, heh, even after six years of having transgender friends.”

“For what it’s worth, you’re a lot further ahead than a lot of people in this uni,” Lucy sighed as she pulled on her dance society hoodie and followed her friends out of the studio.

“Oh, Lucy...” Claudia sighed sadly. “Are you still getting grief from the other students on your course?”

“Well- not ‘grief’ as much,” Lucy replied. “I mean, like, no one’s gone out of their way to be mean to me, but I- I still see the way people look at me, and- yeah. Makes me grateful for the safe spaces I do have, heh.” Such as the LGBT society, Lucy thought to herself. Pity Rick can't be my 'guardian angel' everywhere else in the uni...

“Everywhere in the university should be a safe space,” Priya snorted. “Everywhere in the world, even. I mean, I was in a shop buying stationery the other day, and I swear as I left it, I heard someone say ‘thank you, come again’.”

“Ugh,” Claudia snorted. “I mean, I hear the phrase ‘white privilege’ thrown about a lot and, well, I never felt all that privileged growing up, but when I hear stories like that- I kinda get it, yeah. And you can add ‘straight privilege’ and ‘cis privilege’ to that list as well.”

“Yep,” Priya said, before sighing and shaking her head. “I- I think this is probably enough politics for a Friday evening, heh! So, I’ll ask again: SU. Bar. Tonight?”

“Totally,” Lucy replied with a confident smile that betrayed the nerves she felt inside- nerves that she knew her brother was feeling too.

Even though the twins’ university was only a short train ride from their family home in Newcastle, they, unlike many of their classmates, had opted not to return home during the weekends. Even Susie had travelled back more than once to visit her mother, but the twins had continued to stay in Durham. When their parents had asked if they’d be returning to Newcastle, the twins would reply with excuses such as being overwhelmed with their studies or hanging out with friends, but with each excuse, the twins felt guiltier and guiltier, even if they were partially true.

Both Luke and Lucy still loved their parents and found themselves missing them more and more as the weeks went on, but they knew deep down that they wouldn’t be able to go back home for one major reason- that when they went home, Lucy would have to become Luke again, and Luke would have to become Lucy. Both twins saw this as a price they were unwilling to pay, but as the weeks went on, they knew that they’d have to return home to see their parents sooner or later, and they were running out of excuses.

However, neither Luke nor Lucy saw this as a reason to put a dampener on their fun- especially not on a Friday night at the end of a long week of studying.

“Hey guys!” Susie said with an excited grin as Luke, Gavin and Kieran met her outside the bar. “Good time at football practice, then?”

“Yep, it was fun!” Luke replied, consciously deciding not to tell his friend about the 'encounter' the three of them had had at the end of the practice session even as his two friends fidgeted uncomfortably. “What’ve you been up to? I half expected to see you at practice.”

“Just been doing a bit of reading,” Susie replied with a shrug. “Didn’t want to, you know, get in the way…”

“Oh, come on, you wouldn’t get in the way, you know that, right?” Luke asked, grinning as he gave the ginger girl a tight one-armed hug.

“Yeah, we could always use another cheerleader, heh!” Gavin joked as the four teenagers entered the bar and found themselves a table, saving space for their friends who were yet to arrive.

“One who’d actually look good in the uniform, too!” Kieran interjected, laughing and flinching as Susie threw a pretend punch at his side.

“If you ever catch me wearing a cheerleader costume, you have my permission to shoot me in the head,” Susie snorted, before giggling herself. “Ah, maybe next week. Besides, I was packing my case for the weekend, probably going to get the last train to Newcastle tonight. Are- umm, do you know yet if you’ll be heading back home, Luke?”

“…I haven’t decided yet,” the young transman mumbled in reply. “It’s something I need to talk over with Lucy, anyway.”

“Well, if you do go back and you need any moral support, you know where to turn, right?” Susie asked with a grin.

“That applies to me too,” Gavin said. “I mean, I wasn’t planning on going back home this weekend, but it’s hardly a hardship, right?”

“…Thanks,” Luke chuckled, a genuine smile spreading across his face as he realised once again that for the first time in his life, he didn't just have a friend, but many friends, and genuine friends too. “But, like I said, I still need to talk it through with Lucy.”

“Well, obviously,” Gavin said. “Where one goes, the other goes, right?”

“Well, apart from football practice and dance class, anyway,” Kieran said with a mischievous giggle. “Ahh… I always wondered what it’d be like to have a twin, you know?”

“Have you got any siblings, Kieran?” Susie asked as she sipped her beer.

“Two brothers, one older, one younger,” the Manchester native replied. “We’re not, you know, all that similar, though.”

“In fairness, neither are me and Lucy,” Luke mused.

“What is it we’re not, now?” Lucy asked as she, Priya and Claudia approached the table and greeted everyone present with a hug.

“Luke was telling us that despite you being twins, you’re not all that alike,” Gavin replied, making Lucy smirk as she examined her own attire of black leggings and pink trainers and compared it to the loose football shorts and beaten-up brown walking boots that her brother was wearing- not to mention the layer of fine hair covering his shins that was absent from her own legs.

“Well… he’s got a point, hehe!” Lucy giggled, making her brother smirk. “Did you have a good training session?”

“Did you have a good dance class?” Luke retorted with a smirk as the twins’ five friends all giggled.

“It was good thanks, yeah!” Lucy replied with a grin. “Only way it could be better is if someone agreed to come along…”

“Oh- don’t, seriously,” Susie scoffed, before pointing at Gavin and Kieran. “These two have just spent the last few minutes trying to get into a cheerleader costume, I don’t need you piling on as well!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let it go for now,” Lucy chuckled, before smirking devilishly. “Do they have a cheerleading society at the uni?”

“Yep,” Priya replied. “Nearly signed up for it, but I wasn’t on my secondary school cheer team so thought it might have involved a bit too much catching up. That, and because I’m, well, petite, means I’m the one who’s going to get thrown around everywhere, heh.”

“Didn’t you tell me that your sister used to be a cheerleader?” Claudia asked.

“Yep!” Priya replied with a smirk. “And as she’s even smaller than me, so, yeah. Good job years of ballet and gymnastics means she doesn’t suffer from motion sickness, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled, before biting her lip and fidgeting awkwardly- something her friend immediately picked up on.

“Is something wrong, Lucy?” Priya asked.

“Ah- no, no,” Lucy replied, before sighing. “I’m, you know, trying not to ask, like, a racist question.”

“Let me guess- wondering what my family would think about us prancing around in skimpy clothing?” Priya asked with a sigh, before smiling sympathetically. “It’s okay, I mean, it’s okay to think it, heh. And to answer your question, my parents are SUPER liberal. My father’s actually volunteered to campaign for Sadiq Khan in the next mayoral election.”

“Definitely different to our parents,” Luke snorted. “Especially our grandparents, heh.” Luke smiled across as his sister, who was fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat at the mention of their father's parents.

“Let- let’s not talk about our parents when we’re trying to have fun, please?” Lucy asked. “Especially on a Friday night?”

“I’ll drink to that!” Gavin cheered as he finished his drink. “Anyone want anything from the bar?”

“Aye, another beer please,” Luke replied, finishing his pint and handing the glass to his friend.

“Just a small white wine please,” Lucy said, briefly locking eyes with her brother again, both understanding that they would need to have 'the talk' about whether or not to go home that weekend, just as they'd done every Friday night since starting university.

The seven teenagers stayed in the bar for another two hours, before Susie announced that she needed to leave to catch her train. Rather than let her go alone, the group, some of them already unsteady on their feet, accompanied her to the station, where all six of them bade Susie farewell with hugs- Luke and Lucy's hugs being the tightest of them all.

“See yas all on Monday!” Susie said with a wave as she boarded her train. “Maybe even sooner, heh!” Luke and Lucy both laughed at their friend’s joke, but both fidgeted awkwardly as they glanced at each other again.

Once Susie’s train had left, the six remaining students made the short walk back to their campus. While Gavin, Kieran, Priya and Claudia were still buzzing from their evening of fun, Luke and Lucy’s anxiety levels continued to rise. However, mere seconds after arriving back at their dorm building, Kieran's phone buzzed to inform him of a new notification.

“Ooh, I’ve just had a text from Shane from the LGBT society,” Kieran said with a smile. “Apparently, there’s a party on his corridor tonight if anyone’s interested? And yes, straight people will be allowed, hehe!”

“Ugh, I’d love to, but I have to be up REALLY early tomorrow,” Priya sighed.

“Same here,” Claudia said with a sad smile. “Maybe next time, if the party wasn’t on a Friday, heh. Though at the same time, I get why it has to be on a Friday too, so- yeah. Maybe next week.”

“All round to Claudia’s next Friday evening, then,” Gavin joked, making the blonde girl blush. “And I would love to, but- yeah. Kinda, you know, need to get back to me room and take my meds, heh.”

“Oh- oh, Gav, are you- are you feeling okay?” Lucy asked, concerned for her friend.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Gavin replied with an annoyed sigh, before smiling sympathetically. “I just have, you know, my up and down days. I’ll get some kip, I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure,” Lucy said, smiling as her dark-haired friend nodded.

“Well, like Claudia says, there’ll be other parties,” Kieran said with a grin, before turning to the twins. “How about you two, then? If you’re not going back to Newcastle tomorrow you won’t need to be up early, right?”

“’If’,” Lucy replied as she exchanged a knowing glance with her brother. Both twins knew that it was a discussion they needed to urgently have. However, both Luke and Lucy were desperate for a reason, any reason to not have to discuss it, and the party was just the excuse they were looking for- and would be a good chance to blow off some extra steam as well.

“…Just let us get changed first,” Luke said with a confident smirk that widened as Kieran cheered and giggled.

“I’ll text you the room number,” Kieran said excitedly. “See you there!”

“Yep!” Luke said with a grin as the group started to disperse, though rather than head back to his own room, Luke followed his sister into her room and sat down on her bed with a loud sigh.

“Yeah…” Lucy chuckled as she removed her hoodie and pulled a tight black long-sleeved top and a dark red skater skirt from her wardrobe. “Kinda inappropriate us changing together, isn’t it? Also, no offence, but you’re probably the last person I’d go to for make-up tips, heh!”

“Compliment accepted,” Luke said with a smirk. “Nah, just- ugh. I keep thinking about what Susie said at the train station, that we can’t avoid going back home forever…”

“Did she say that exactly?” Lucy asked.

“Well, she definitely implied it,” Luke snorted. “And- ugh. If it were up to me, I’d just stay here, like, all the time, but I- well, you know…”

“What we do, we do together,” Lucy said softly, sharing a smile with her twin. “I know. And I- ugh. I know we’ve got to deal with it eventually, but- like, we’re still settling into uni, getting the hang of things, we need time to, you know, be ourselves, spread our wings, get the hang of our coursework… Reckon mum and dad will buy that excuse for the fourth week in a row?”

“Worth a try,” Luke chuckled, jumping off his sister’s bed and giving her a quick hug. “See you at the party!”

“Aye,” Lucy said with a smile as she watched her brother walk away, marvelling at how, once again, they'd arrived at the same conclusion almost immediately- just like if they were thinking with one mind.

A short while later, the twins made their way through the halls of residence to Kieran’s corridor, where they could hear that the party was already in full swing. Lucy fidgeted slightly as she adjusted her thin tights under her short skater skirt, but the smile remained on her face as she headed into the party, knowing that even an unofficial event of the LGBT society would be a safe space for her and her brother. Luke and Lucy had been invited to dorm parties by other students before but had always declined unless they knew that one of their close friends would be there as well. The twins usually justified their decision by reasoning that they still needed time to get used to university life, but as time went on, they were forced to acknowledge that they had settled in just as well as anyone else, and their excuse was just that- an excuse. Secretly, they also acknowledged that the real reason wasn’t so much that they were waiting for them to get used to university life, but rather that they were waiting for the university to get used to them.

In their first four weeks at university, Luke and Lucy hadn’t faced any violence or threats of violence from their fellow students, but neither had it been plain sailing for them. Both twins knew that wherever they went, they would stand out and draw attention. As adept as Lucy got at fixing her hair and make-up, it only went so far to disguising her masculine face (especially her jawline), and no matter what style or length of skirt, or what type of shoes she wore, she would still stand nearly six feet tall. By comparison, even with his chest bandaged and clad in baggy clothing, such as the loose shirt and jeans he wore to the party, Luke was always conscious of his short stature and his ‘cute’ looking face. And even though they considered it unthinkable to not be together, they knew that whenever they were together, it only served to amplify these 'traits'. Wherever they went, they attracted stares, whispers and giggles from those passing them by, even when among friends. Sometimes, the twins found themselves almost wishing that they were confronted directly- at least that way, they’d have a justification for confronting their tormentors. Even their weekly telephone meetings with their counsellor were proving to be fruitless, as despite their commitment to living their life in their new genders, they were still no closer to securing a prescription for hormone replacement therapy- and worse yet, the one major thing preventing the prescription was the one thing the twins dreaded the most.

In the four weeks since their course started, Luke and Lucy had yet to see their parents face to face, meaning that more crucially, their parents had yet to see them. Whenever Lucy spoke to her parents, it was with Luke’s voice, and vice versa. The twins badly wanted to stop keeping their parents in the dark, not just for the practical purpose of obtaining HRT, but because by not telling them, it made the twins feel like their identities were somehow not real. Whenever Lucy applied her make-up or pulled on a skirt, or whenever Luke bandaged down his chest or pulled on his preferred baggy jeans, they felt like they were only pretending to be the people they felt they truly were on the inside. The twins knew that they couldn’t keep up the pretense forever, but they also knew that the price would be too high if their parents rejected them. However, no matter what, the twins would always have each other, and moreover, they would also have their new friends- friends that Luke and Lucy at one point thought they’d never make.

Friends who also gave Luke and Lucy a warm welcome when they arrived at the main party room, where Luke and Lucy each grabbed a bottle of beer before mingling with the crowd. Most of the partygoers were students that the twins knew from the LGBT society, but there were still a few unfamiliar faces, who nonetheless welcomed and accepted the twins unquestioningly as they were.

“Hey you two!” Kieran said with a giggle as he gave the twins a hug each. “Glad you didn’t have more BORING things you needed to do, hehe!”

“Nah, we were never going to miss this!” Luke replied with a grin.

“Even if it is a bit of a cliché that the two of you have shown up together?” Kieran asked, grinning as his new friends both frowned. “Oh, come on, you know I don’t mean anything bad by it, but you are always, you know, together?”

“Not ‘always’,” Luke retorted. “I’ve never seen Lucy at football practice, for one thing.”

“And I’ve never seen Luke come to dance class,” Lucy interjected.

“Nor are you going to,” Luke snorted, earning a giggle from their new friend.

“Maybe not,” Kieran conceded. “But it is so cute how you finish each other’s sentences, hehe! And roll your eyes simultaneously, too.”

“Think I’m gonna need more of these,” Luke snorted as he gestured with his beer bottle.

“Plenty more where that came from,” Kieran said, smiling as Luke headed to the cramped room’s fridge. “I’m especially glad that you came too, Lucy. I think in four weeks we’ve exchanged, what, five words with each other?”

“Well, before tonight, maybe,” Lucy replied with a smirk as she and Kieran sat down on the room's sofa. “I mean, I’ve seen you hang out with Luke, especially at LGBT society, but- yeah. What you said before isn’t exactly unfair, we are used to, well, sharing everything, heh.”

“I know, I- I’ve kinda talked to Susie a bit as well,” Kieran said, making Lucy smirk as he blushed. “Not- not just about you two, I mean, but- yeah. She told me about how she was ostracised at school for kissing a girl… I can kinda sympathise. Well, not with the whole ‘kissing girls’ thing, but- yeah. I grew up in Didsbury, and while yes, it’s very much a ‘Labour’ part of the UK, it doesn’t mean it’s an LGBT paradise the way that, like, Brighton is.”

“…Ah,” Lucy said quietly. “I guess that’s, like, the one thing about not coming out while we were at school- we didn’t have that level of shit to deal with.”

“You just have different shit to deal with now?” Kieran asked with a knowing smirk.

“Not as much as I expected, if I’m honest,” Lucy replied. “I think people are finally getting used to me, heh. It’s at home where the shit’s waiting for me.”

“Well, yep,” Kieran said with a sad sigh. “If you need any help or any advice on coming out to a family that weren’t expecting it, well, I’m the man to come to, heh!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lucy said with a smile as she finished her drink. Moments later, Luke returned with three more beers, earning cheers from his sister and his friend.

“Go on then, what did I miss?” Luke asked as he sat down next to his sister.

“Nothing important,” Lucy replied with a grin. “Just getting to know Kieran a bit better, don’t want you hogging ALL the boys!”

“Oh aye, funny girl,” Luke snorted.

“I will confess, though,” Kieran mused. “I was kinda surprised when you told me that you were still, you know, interested in boys. I mean, obviously, I know that gender identity and sexual orientation aren’t linked, but- well, yeah.”

“It’s my life,” Luke shrugged. “I’ll live it however I want and with whoever I want. I don’t care about labels like ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or even ‘cis’ or ‘trans’. Well, for the most part, anyway.”

“Preach!” Kieran cheered. “As long as this means you’re still going to be at pride?”

“Well, Durham pride, yep!” The young trans man chuckled as his sister fidgeted.

“Would you rather I didn’t sit between the two of you?” Lucy asked, giggling as the two men rolled their eyes at her.

“This is a party, you can sit wherever you want!” Kieran replied with a giggle. “Or stand, or dance, or whatever- or even, whoever takes your fancy!”

“…I’m okay sitting for now,” Lucy said with a grin as she took a swig of her beer and surveyed the scene. All around her were people her age laughing, dancing and having fun, and whether it was thanks to the beer or the company, for the first time ever she started to feel like she was somewhere she truly belonged. There was no pressure on her to ‘man up’, or to pretend to like things she hated, and most of all, there was no pressure on her to BE someone she hated. She was free to be whoever she wanted to be, a freedom that Lucy had long since craved- and a glance at her brother instantly revealed that he shared her feelings.

As time had gone on, Lucy had noticed how her brother had become increasingly stressed out and anxious about everything in his life. She’d witnessed him lashing out, breaking down and often boiling over with frustration, and had occasionally been on the receiving end of his anger- which had always been worse when Luke had had to pretend to be a girl. But for the first time in a long time, his face displayed a look of genuine happiness. For the first time, just like Lucy, Luke was free to be himself. And neither twin wanted that feeling, that sense freedom to end.

“Come on,” Luke said with a grin as he finished his beer. “Let’s have some fun!” Lucy didn't need to be asked twice, and the twins spent the next few hours forgetting about all their worries and simply enjoying being who they were- who they'd always wanted to be.

“Ugh, I needed that, I really did,” Luke said with a heavy sigh as he returned to his room, where he flopped onto his bed while his sister sat down at his desk.

“What, the party, the booze, or both?” Lucy asked with a tipsy giggle.

“Both, all of it, everything,” Luke replied. “The chance to forget- well, you know better than anyone, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy mused. “I don’t see it as ‘forgetting’, though. More like ‘remembering what we now have’, if that makes sense.”

“Perfect sense,” Luke said with a smile. “Anyway, lots of exercise followed by lots of alcohol means I really, really need some sleep now, heh.”

“Hint taken,” Lucy chuckled. “So... got any idea what we can do tomorrow? The last thing I want to do is stay cooped up in my room all weekend, heh. Well, I can think of one worse thing, heh.”

"Aye," Luke said darkly. "But- whatever. We don't NEED to go back home, right?"

"Right," Lucy replied. "So... decision made on what we're NOT doing tomorrow, heh. I'll- I'll text mum or dad first thing. That just leaves the question of what we ARE doing."

“I’ll leave that up to you as well,” Luke yawned. “Whatever you choose though, make sure we’re not leaving Kieran by himself.”

“Will do,” Lucy said with a grin as she turned off her brother’s light and headed back to her room.

As Lucy removed her make-up and got ready for bed, she pondered on what her brother had said, and how she’d replied. With no make-up on her face and her hair slicked back, she undoubtedly had a boy’s face. If she removed the clothes she was wearing, she’d undoubtedly have a boy’s body- especially if she stripped naked. It was something she was never not conscious of, but as the weeks had passed, it was something she had come to not be ashamed of. It was simply a part of who she was, who she had become, and a reminder that there was still a long way to go on her journey. Lucy only wished that Luke could feel the same way about his body- and that their parents would accept them the way they’d accepted themselves. However, Lucy reasoned to herself, that was an argument that could wait for another time, as the one thing they’d gained the most of since starting university was freedom- the freedom to be the people they felt they truly were inside, and the freedom to not have to ask for permission from or explain themselves to those who would seek to deny them their freedom. Lucy knew that the confrontation was coming sooner or later- but it was a bridge she could cross when she came to it. Or, at least, that was what she believed…

“Ugh,” Luke moaned as his phone’s ringtone blared throughout the room, worsening the headache with which he’d woken up. With a sigh, Luke unplugged his phone from its charger and looked at the screen, frowning as he didn’t recognise the number. “He- hello?”

“Hi mate, it’s James Thorn here, have I caught you at a bad time?” The voice asked, making Luke frown as he tried to shake the cobwebs out of his head- if the captain of the university’s football team was calling him early on a Saturday morning, it had to be important.

“Umm, no, I can talk, what’s up?” Luke asked.

“You sure?” James asked with a chuckle. “Sound like you maybe had a couple too many lemonades last night?”

“…Something like that,” Luke said with a snort of laughter.

“Well, can’t say I blame you for having fun,” James laughed. “I’m calling to see if you’re up for playing today?”

“Wh- what, in a match?” Luke asked. “I thought the C Team weren’t playing this weekend?”

“Well, you’re not,” James replied. “But we’ve had a couple of guys on the B Team come down with flu and, well- okay, I’ll be honest with you, you’ll probably be warming the bench for the match, but it’s good experience. If you’ve got other plans, though, I can find someone else just as easily.”

“N- no, I’ll be there,” Luke said, his heart beating faster at the prospect of not just playing football, but having a genuine excuse to give to his and his sister's parents as to why they would be unable to go home. “Usual place?”

“Yep, same pitch,” James replied. “I’ll see you there!”

“Cool, cheers mate,” Luke said, smiling as he ended the call and flopped back onto his bed. Once again, Luke was plagued by the one thought he’d been unable to shake off since starting university- that he was only pretending to be a boy, and that when all of his 'layers', all of his clothes, his hobbies were stripped away, all that would be left was the girl he so desperately didn't want to be. And while he knew he had to address those feelings sooner or later- whether it was with his sister, his counsellor or someone else entirely- the football match at least meant that he could pretend just a little bit longer.

After showering and dressing in his preferred baggy jeans and college hoodie, Luke made the quick walk down the corridor to his sister’s room, gently knocking on the door five times to let her know it was him before awaiting her response.

“Yeah, come in Luke,” Lucy replied, smiling as her brother entered the room and sat down on her bed. “You’re looking pleased with yourself, then?”

“Well, I should be,” Luke replied with a grin. “Might be playing for the uni’s B Team today…”

“Oh- seriously?” Lucy asked, her grin widening as her brother nodded smugly. “That’s great news! What time’s the match?”

“What, thinking of watching this time?” Luke asked, his grin widening as his sister blushed. “It’s okay, I know there’s things you’d rather do than watch football, heh. You got enough of that when you were- well, before uni, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled, before biting her lip as she pondered how to word what she was about to say. “Also, there’s, well- do you- ugh, this is going to sound SO bad…”

“No, go on,” Luke said softly. “You know you can ask me anything, right?”

“Y- yeah, well, that’s kinda the point,” Lucy sighed. “Do you- do you think we spend too much time together? I mean, here we are on Saturday morning, we’ve got the whole day to ourselves, and how are we spending it? Talking to each other.”

“If you’d rather I left, I’ll go,” Luke angrily snorted, before sighing. “I- I’m sorry Lucy, I just- ugh. You’re not wrong in what you’re saying, I mean, I get good news about the team and first thing I do is come straight round here, rather than texting Gavin, or Kieran, or anyone else on the team.”

“Yeah, and I- I do appreciate it,” Lucy said. “I mean, you ARE the most important person in my world.”

“I- I feel the same way,” Luke said, before sighing. “I mean, let’s face it, if mum and dad find out about- well, how we spent our first month of uni, it’s not like we’ll have any other family, is it?”

“Well- you never know,” Lucy replied.

“No, but I can make an educated guess,” Luke grumbled. “Ugh, anyway, it’s not something we have to worry about for now.”

“No, but we will sooner or later,” Lucy said. “Well, Christmas at the latest. God knows I- I don’t think I could go back to, well, being a boy again, not after this last month.”

“I know I can’t go back to being a girl,” Luke snorted. “Just thinking about it is making me sick. But like I just said, I don’t to worry about it for now. Not when I’ve got a match to prepare for, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a smile. “Pity Gav had to go back home, you know he’d have loved to watch you play.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, before shrugging and sighing. “There’ll be other games. I’ll text Kieran as well, see if he wants to come along. Heh, and there you were thinking that we rely too much on each other when we’ve already got all these friends!”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” Lucy chuckled. “Both of my friends have gone back to their hometowns, though.”

“What ‘both’?” Luke retorted with a gentle chuckle. “Kieran’s your friend as well, isn’t he?”

“Well- aye, that’s true!” Lucy laughed. “You can never have too many friends, boy or girl, hehe!”

“Exactly,” Luke said. “Kieran’s said he’s eager to get to know you a bit better, too, so this’ll be a good chance.”

“Umm… He is gay, isn’t he?” Lucy asked confusedly.

“I doubt he meant ‘get to know you’ like THAT,” Luke replied. “He’s living away from home for the first time too, wants to make new friends, that’s all.”

“And what better way to do that than by making two friends for the price of one?” Lucy asked, smirking as her brother chuckled.

“Exactly,” Luke chuckled. “And I’ve got time before the match, so I'll text him and see if he wants to get a drink in the town centre before it. I’ll give you some time to get ready first.”

“What, are you saying it takes longer for me to get ready now that I’m a girl?” Lucy asked.

“Are you saying it doesn’t?” Luke replied, smirking as his sister rolled her eyes before ushering him out of the room.

45 minutes later, the twins and Kieran were casually strolling along Silver Street, window shopping as they watched the world going by. Both twins mused on how, while they were keenly observing everyone who passed, very few people were 'observing' them- as far as anyone else was concerned, they were just three ordinary students from the university enjoying their weekend- which was precisely what they were.

“That’s really cool that you’ve been given this opportunity for the team,” Kieran said, smirking as his friend blushed.

“It’s just one game,” Luke mumbled. “And besides, I might not even play, James said I’ll be a substitute, so- yeah.”

“Yeah, but still though, you must be doing something right,” Kieran said, before biting his lip. “Ah… I- I kinda meant as a footballer, not- well, you know… Though I suppose it could be a compliment… maybe?”

“…For what it’s worth, I took it as a compliment,” Luke said. “And don’t worry, I agree 100%. Especially as it gives me an excuse to stay in Durham another weekend, heh!”

“Yeah,” Kieran chuckled. “I know THAT feeling, heh. How did your parents take it when you told them this time?”

“Luce?” Luke asked his sister with a smug grin, before turning to their friend to explain. “We take it in turns to, like, call our parents to give them excuses as to why we can’t go home. Other than ‘we don’t want to’, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled nervously, before grimacing. “Though I- I kinda haven’t, well, you know…”

“Oh- what?” Luke asked, a frown spreading across his face.

“Well, they haven’t called us either,” Lucy said defensively. “I just figured, you know, if they don’t ask, we don’t need to tell, right?”

“They’re gonna be pissed off next week, though,” Luke scowled. “You know, like, when it’s my turn to call them? And you’re normally the one who has to remind me to call them!”

“Well- well I’ll call them next week, then,” Lucy mumbled as tears started to well in her eyes. “I just don’t- ugh. I…”

“…What?” Luke asked, his anger giving way to concern for his sister.

“I- well, you- you’ve got a deep voice, you know? For a girl,” Lucy mumbled. “Well… so do I. Deeper, like. So when I have to use it, like when I’m talking to our parents…” Luke grimaced and had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying as tears started to flow from his sister’s eyes.

“Ugh, Lucy…” Luke moaned as he and Kieran led the distraught girl to a nearby bench, where Luke gave his sister a tight, comforting hug. “I- I’m sorry, sometimes- sometimes I forget you’ve got this just as hard as I do, heh.”

“No- no, it’s okay,” Lucy sighed, taking several deep breaths to compose herself. “Like you said, I should’ve done it, I should’ve- heh.”

“Let me guess- ‘manned up’?” Luke asked, rolling his eyes as his sister nodded.

“Ugh, I HATE that phrase,” Kieran spat. “You don’t need to guess that I heard it a lot when I was growing up, especially from my older brother.”

“Hell, I am literally trying to ‘man up’ and I still hate it,” Luke said. “Though admittedly, not as much as Lucy does.”

“I bet,” Kieran said.

“There’s no reason to let it ruin our weekend, though,” Lucy said as she wiped the last of her tears from her eyes. “I’ll send dad a message on Facebook, explain we’re busy this weekend, simple as that.”

“I thought you’d told me you didn’t have Facebook?” Kieran asked, before nodding as a look of realisation spread across his face. “Ah, of course, you don’t have it in your- well, your-“

“Our real names,” Luke said, smiling sympathetically as his friend nodded.

“Okay, that’s done,” Lucy said, pressing the ‘send’ button on her messaging app. “Now how about we, you know, have some fun?”

“Sounds good to me!” Luke cheered, helping his sister to her feet as they and Kieran continued down Durham High Street. However, they had barely got 50 yards before Lucy’s phone started to ring, and the colour drained from her face as she checked the caller ID.

“Lucy?” Luke asked with clear concern in his voice. “Ehh, is- is that dad?” Luke grimaced as his sister nodded. “Want me to answer that?”

“What, you answer my phone?” Lucy asked. “That’ll probably cause us even more problems. Nah, I- I got this.” Lucy took a deep breath and cleared her throat as she prepared to speak in the voice she had consciously not used for over a month. “Hello?” Lucy winced as she said this one wimple word, trying not to feel too anxious about how alien the voice sounding coming from her own throat- or worse, whether anyone had heard her and wondered why the tall girl had a deeper voice than most boys.

“Hi Luke!” The twins’ father said as Lucy tried not to flinch at the user of her deadname. “I got your message, where are you right now?”

“Umm, Silver Street,” Lucy mumbled in reply.

“What a coincidence, so am I!” Paul chuckled, causing Lucy to freeze with fear. “…Hello? Luke? You still there?”

“Umm- umm, yeah, yeah I am,” Lucy said, trying her best to disguise the shock in her voice. “You- you’re here in Durham?”

“What!?” Luke shrieked, before clamping his hands over his mouth in shock as he tried to process the unexpected information.

“Is that your sister?” Paul asked with a chuckle.

“Umm, ye- yeah, sh- umm, they’re here too,” Lucy replied. “Wh- why have you come to Durham?”

“Why d’you think?” Paul laughed. “It’s been a month since I’ve seen either of yas, and okay, we’ll have all of Christmas together, but I’m missing the both of you! I mean, okay, you’re leading your own lives and I respect that, I really do, but I’m still your dad, you’re still my son and Lucy’s still my daughter, you know?” I know, but you definitely don’t, Lucy ruefully thought to herself as she wondered just how much her father would respect his children leading their own lives if he knew the whole truth. “So I figured,” Paul continued, “if Mohammed won’t go to the mountain- well, I’m sure you know the rest, heh!”

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy stammered.

“Anyways,” Paul said, “I’m at the Caffe Nero so I’ll get yas both a drink and see you there, okay?”

“Y- yeah,” Lucy stammered. “Sounds great!”

“See ya in a bit!” Paul chuckled as Lucy ended the call and tried her hardest not to scream.

“…Luce?” Luke asked, fidgeting nervously as he dreaded what his sister had to say. “What- where is he?”

“At- at the Caffe Nero,” Lucy mumbled, trying to take what little comfort she could from speaking in her preferred feminine tone.

“What!?” Luke hissed. “We- we passed that, like, five minutes ago!”

“Yep,” Lucy said, clenching her jaw as her whole body felt paralysed with fear. “And he’s expecting us back there pretty much now.”

“Oh- Jesus Christ…” Luke groaned.

“You- you think you’ve got it bad?” Lucy snorted. “You can go in there wearing whatever you want, how- how am I meant to go and meet him like this?”

“It’s not going to be a barrel of laughs having to pretend to be a girl again!” Luke growled, before sighing. “But- yeah, I guess you’ve got a point. Can you- can you go back to the dorm to change?”

“It’ll take at least 15 minutes to get back there,” Lucy sighed. “And the queues in Primark means that’s not an option either…”

“Why- umm,” Kieran said hesitantly. “Why don’t you- I mean, ‘cause we’re, like, the same height and size, or near enough, right?”

“K- Kieran?” Lucy asked. “Are- are you- saying I should wear your clothes?”

“…Why not?” Kieran replied with a nervous shrug. “I can- I can wear your clothes back to uni, change into my clothes when I’m back there and leave yours waiting for you when you get back?”

“S- seriously, I can’t ask you to do that,” Lucy said with a nervous chuckle.

“It’s not like you’ve got many other options, like you yourself just said,” Kieran said softly. “And I’ll be fine, really. I’ll head straight back to the dorm, no one will even notice me.”

“Even with your hair?” Lucy asked, gesturing to the much shorter hair on her friend’s head.

“You’re wearing a hoodie,” Kieran shrugged. “I’ll put my hood up. Seriously, the longer we spend arguing about this, the longer your dad’s going to be waiting.”

“…He’s right, Lucy,” Luke said, giving his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze that did nothing to calm her anxiety. “Unless you can think of any other way in the next five seconds?”

“…No, I can’t,” Lucy sighed, before turning to Kieran with a sympathetic but grateful smile on her face. “So, umm, how- how d’you want to do this? I mean, it’s not like we can swap clothes out in the middle of the street…”

“I saw a McDonald’s a way back, they should have a disabled toilet,” Kieran replied. “It’ll be big enough for both of us, I mean, I don’t fancy trying to pass clothes under or over other cubicles.”

“And then there’s the fact that one of you would have to go into the ‘wrong’ toilet,” Luke said darkly. “And the other one would emerge from the ‘wrong’ toilet.”

“Well- okay then,” Lucy sighed, her anxiety levels rising with each step she took toward her destination. “Thank you SO much for this, Kieran, I- I really don’t know how I’ll be able to repay you for this.”

“It’s really no trouble at all,” Kieran replied. “You can always buy me a drink next time we’re in the union bar, heh. And besides, it’s just clothes, you know? Okay, I mean, to you- both of you- it’s more than that, it’s, like, an identity thing, and I get that- I mean, like, I hope I do, anyway.”

“Well- kinda, yeah,” Luke chuckled. “It is a bit- well, a lot more complicated than that, but it’s not something you’re really going to need to know, heh.”

“I’d like to, though,” Kieran shrugged. “Anything that’ll help me be a better friend to the two of you.”

“Trust me, what you’re about to do means you don’t have anything to worry about in ‘friend’ stakes,” Lucy chuckled. Whereas I have everything to worry about… Lucy thought to herself anxiously.

The three teenagers arrived at the McDonald’s a short while later, and while Luke stood in the queue to buy the three of them some fries, Lucy and Kieran stealthily made their way into the disabled restroom where Lucy began the unwanted task of stripping away her femininity. As Lucy wiped away her make-up with a wet wipe she had in her bag, she felt herself grow tenser and tenser as for the first time in a very long time, she started to see the boy she used to be staring back at her from the mirror.

“Hey,” Kieran whispered softly. “You okay?”

“No,” Lucy replied, earning a sad frown from her friend. “Ugh, I- I’ll be alright. I’ll just go and see dad, then come right back to uni and change back- well, put my ‘mask’ back on, I suppose.”

“What ‘mask’?” Kieran asked gently. “From where I’m standing, it looks to me more like you’re putting a mask on- heh, just as I am.”

“Heh, I guess,” Lucy mumbled. “But- ugh. A lot of people would disagree with you.”

“Are you one of those people?” Kieran asked.

“Well- no, I guess not,” Lucy replied.

“Then what does it matter what all those other people say or think?” Kieran asked.

“It matters a lot when one of them’s your dad,” Lucy replied, biting her lip as her friend frowned. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, Kieran. Sorry that you got dragged into the middle of this, heh. I really, really am grateful that you agreed to this.”

“It really, really isn’t a problem,” Kieran said softly.

“Heh, I wish I could say the same,” Lucy sighed as she slowly removed her shoes, her skirt, her tights and her hoodie, carefully folding them on the toilet lid before turning to face her friend, who was in a similar state of undress.

“You okay?” Kieran asked.

“I will be when you stop asking that,” Lucy scoffed, before frowning. “I- I’m sorry. I just want to get this over with.”

“I understand,” Kieran said, pausing before picking up Lucy’s discarded tights.

“Do you- do you need a hand with those?” Lucy whispered.

“I- I’ll figure it out,” Kieran said, hesitating before stepping into the clingy garment. As Kieran pulled on her skirt and hoodie, Lucy steeled herself before slipping her feet into Kieran’s jeans, shuddering at the feel of the coarse denim against her hairless legs. Lucy had exclusively worn female clothing for so long that pulling on a pair of men's jeans- something she'd done countless times in her life before uni- felt utterly alien to her. However, much to her horror, she found herself quickly getting used to the feeling of the baggy garment.

After pulling on Kieran’s woolen sweater over her lacy camisole, Lucy took a look at herself in the mirror and started to slowly weep. She’d worked hard to be the woman she truly felt she was on the inside, and to have it all scrubbed away in mere minutes just reinforced her feelings that her friend was wrong, and that 'Lucy' really was just a mask she was wearing. Consciously, she knew that when she returned to her dorm, her preferred clothes and make-up- and moreover, her preferred identity- would be there waiting for her, but it didn’t ease her anxiety that she had been sent straight back to square one, that becoming ‘Lucy’ again would take more than simply a change of clothes and a layer of make-up.

“Hey,” Kieran whispered. “You- heh, alright, I won’t ask it, but- well, you know?”

“I- I just want to get this over with,” Lucy sighed. “Are you okay with- umm, I mean, do you- do you want me to put some make-up on you, to, like, help with the disguise?”

“Ehh, only- only if you’ve got time, and I don’t think you do,” Kieran replied with a grimace. “It’ll be okay. I’ve got plenty- umm, I mean, I can always put my hood up, plenty of, like, ‘protection’ from being, you know, ‘spotted’.”

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy said, fidgeting awkwardly in her friend’s clothes and trainers that were one size too big. After taking a deep breath, Lucy poked her head out of the toilet, and when seeing that the coast was clear, beckoned her friend to follow her.

As she headed back through the main area of the restaurant to where her brother was stood, Lucy found herself feeling even more self-conscious in her friend’s clothes than when she’d entered wearing her own clothes. Lucy imagined that she felt the whole restaurant staring at her, that even though she was a genetic male posing as a boy, they would see that it was just a 'pose' and would wonder what was wrong with her...

“H- hey,” Lucy whispered to her brother, who smiled sympathetically, before giving the tall girl a gentle hug.

“You okay?” Luke whispered, earning a nod from his sister in reply.

“I just want to get this over with,” Lucy mumbled.

“Yeah, I know that feeling,” Luke sighed, before turning to his cross-dressed friend and smiling as he handed him a bag of food. “I got you a burger meal, I dunno whether you like McDonald’s but I figured some junk food is the least we could do to say thanks, heh.”

“Thanks,” Kieran said quietly. “And I- I do love McDonald’s, heh.”

“I seriously owe you one for this,” Lucy said quietly.

“Which I’ve already gone some of the way toward repaying,” Luke said, giving his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Like I keep saying to you and you keep saying to me: we do this together. Always.”

“…You guys are still so cute, heh,” Kieran said with a quiet chuckle. “I’ll text you when I’m back at the dorm, I probably won’t go out again today so you can come and pick up your clothes whenever.”

“Cheers,” Lucy said, giving her friend a gentle hug as they left the restaurant before bidding him farewell with a wave. “Okay, let’s get this over and done with, then.”

“Yeah,” Luke mumbled darkly.

“You- you know,” Lucy mused as the twins made their back down the High Street, “we’ve known Kieran for, like, less than a month, and he’s already done more for us than, like, any of the friends we made at school? Well, apart-“

“Apart from Susie,” Luke interrupted. “I was actually thinking the same thing, and I think I know why that is, too.”

“…Go on,” Lucy urged.

“Kieran’s only ever known the real us,” Luke said. “Same with Gavin, Priya and Claudia, they made friends with Luke and Lucy, not, like, Lucy and Luke, if that makes any sense.”

“Perfect sense,” Lucy said. “Though, again, Su-“

“Susie did know ‘Lucy and Luke’,” Luke interrupted. “Aye, I get that. But, you know, Susie’s cool, she actually gets us. Unlike some people…” Lucy bit her lip and steeled herself as she and her brother entered the coffee shop, where their father spotted them immediately and made his way over to them with a wide grin on his face.

“Hey, Lucy!” Paul said as he gave Luke a gentle hug that made the young man's chest tighten- both at the use of his deadname and at the feeling of being hugged as a daughter. However, Luke knew there was nothing he could do about either his father's attitude of his use of the wrong name- not immediately, anyway.

“Hi, dad,” Luke replied tiredly, knowing that his father would barely be listening to him throughout the meet-up.

“Hi Luke!” Paul said, giving Lucy a firm handshake and a much wider grin than he did his other child.

“H- hi, dad,” Lucy said, trying her hardest not to fidget as she sat down, consciously not holding her knees together as she'd done every time she'd sat down for the previous month.

“Well then,” Paul chuckled. “You two do still exist, then!”

“Erm- yeah…” Luke mumbled.

“I’d begun to wonder whether or not you’d run off to join the circus or something,” Paul said. You’d probably think that was better than what we'd actually been doing, Luke thought to himself.

“Yeah…” Lucy said awkwardly. “We- we’ve just been kinda, you know, busy- like, with our course, and stuff…” The twins paused and waited anxiously as their father raised his hand to silence them.

“You don’t need to explain yourselves to me,” Paul said warmly. “You’re both eighteen, you’re both adults, it’s only right that you should have your independence, lead your own lives the way you both want to.” Yeah, right, Lucy thought to herself.

"Are you- umm, you didn't fancy going to the match today, then?" Luke asked hesitantly.

"Well, for starters. we're actually playing tomorrow," Paul replied, making Luke grimace. “But even if we weren't, as much as I love the Toon, I love the two of you much, much more.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy said, trying her hardest not to blush.

“Thanks,” Luke mumbled, leading to an awkward silence at the table.

“Anyway,” Paul said, “I want to hear all about what you’re doing at uni! All these lectures, all these societies you’ve joined that mean ya can’t come home to spend even one weekend with your mam and dad?”

“Well, umm, there’s not a lot to tell,” Lucy mumbled.

“I- umm, I’m on the football team,” Luke said, before grimacing and internally screaming as he realised that his answer would only result in more questions.

“…What, as, like, a cheerleader or something?” Paul asked, making Luke’s chest tighten with anxiety and anger.

“They- they do have a girls’ team too, dad,” Lucy retorted, though the angry glare coming from her twin’s eyes made her flinch- she knew how much Luke loathed even the implication that he was female.

“Oh- well, fair enough, I suppose!” Paul chuckled. “I guess it IS 2019, heh! How about you, Luke? You on the team as well? Not the girls’ team though, obviously!”

“Heh,” Lucy chuckled as she felt her own anxiety rise, with the clothes she was wearing feeling itchier than ever. “Umm, ah- no, no I’m not on any team, heh.”

“So what do you do at the weekends usually?” Paul asked. “Other than the obvious, heh!”

“The- the obvious?” Lucy asked.

“Well, yeah…” Paul replied. “You know, like, partying all evening, all weekend- not to mention the ‘other obvious’ thing I can’t say in front of your sister, heh!” Lucy fidgeted and tried her hardest not to scream as her father gave her a playful nudge with his elbow.

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy mumbled.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Paul chuckled. “Like I said, I get it- you’re eighteen, you want to spread your wings, there’s literally nothing wrong with what you’re doing.” Luke and Lucy glanced at each other, both instinctively knowing that their father would not have been as relaxed had he known the full truth about their university lives. “I know that when I first moved out, I went out to the pub or to a club every night of the week, heh! But I still made time for my mam and dad. Admittedly, though, where I was working there was a lot less pressure than where you’re studying!”

“Heh,” Lucy forced herself to chuckle.

“So, other than football and studying, what else have ya been doing the last few weeks?” Paul asked, making Luke and Lucy both tense up as they prepared to fabricate stories that they knew their father would want to hear.

The twins talked with their father for another hour, inventing stories about their university life such as Luke's time on the girls' football team and Lucy's claim to have tried out for the university's darts team despite the fact that she'd never thrown a dart in her life. Once the hour was over, the twins excused themselves, with Lucy exchanging another awkward handshake with her father while Luke endured another tension-filled hug. Without saying a word, the twins made their way back to the university campus, though both Luke and Lucy's tension levels remained high throughout the walk back.

Every second that she remained in Kieran’s clothes was a second that Lucy felt more and more anxious, more and more like an imposter that was about to be found out at a moment’s notice- but what she would be found out to be was something she couldn't say. Lucy began to wonder whether or not she truly was a boy pretending to be a girl, or a girl pretending to be a boy, or something else entirely.

Meanwhile, as he made the short walk back to his dorm, Luke felt his stress levels grow higher and higher. Unlike his sister, he hadn’t needed to change his clothes, or apply make-up, or fix his hair, and yet, he still felt like his whole body was being squeezed in a vice. Having to pretend to be a girl, even in the context of being his father’s daughter, had been more than Luke could handle. Even though it had only been an hour, it had felt like an eternity to the young man, and it took all of his willpower to not sprint back to the campus, back to where he felt truly safe, where he could once again be his true self.

When the twins arrived back at their dorm building, Luke wasted no time in making a beeline for his room, only to frown and feel his anxiety levels rise even further when he saw his sister head down a different corridor to the one their rooms were on.

“Wh- where are you going!?” Luke angrily snapped.

“Umm, to- to Kieran’s room?” Lucy meekly replied. “To, like, get my clothes back, I- I’m SO glad no one actually, you know, saw me…” Lucy bit her lip as the anger in her brother’s eyes grew- it had been nothing short of a miracle that she’d avoided running into anyone she knew on the walk back to her dorm, and the closer she got to her true identity- and the safety that came with the university's walls- the more desperate she became to return to it.

“I- ugh, I-“ Luke stammered, before doubling over as his breath caught in his throat and he began to hyperventilate.

“L- Luke? Luke!?” Lucy asked, starting to panic herself as she saw her brother begin to freak out.

“I- I’ll be alright, just leave me alone,” Luke gasped.

“Bollocks you will!” Lucy snorted, gently helping her brother back to his feet and escorting him to his room, where he crashed on his bed with a long, pained wail.

“…How pathetic am I?” Luke spat, turning his head so that he didn’t see his sister roll her eyes.

“Don’t say that!” Lucy chastised as she hastily composed a text message on her phone. “That- that was hard for both of us.”

“Yeah, right,” Luke snorted. “I went there dressed as ‘Luke’. I’m still dressed as ‘Luke’. And dad- ugh.”

“Dad only saw you as ‘Lucy’,” Lucy whispered.

“And he only saw you as ‘Luke’,” Luke mumbled. “But you’re not the one totally freaking out.”

“Well- no, no I’m not,” Lucy mumbled, her cheeks reddening with guilt as she again wondered why she wasn’t reacting as badly as her brother. Sure, she’d felt uncomfortable having to pretend to be her father’s son, and she was anxious to change back into her- HER- own clothes, but she wasn’t panicking like her brother was. Lucy briefly wondered whether or not her nerves were eased by the fact that she knew that Kieran would return soon with her proper clothes, before wondering whether her brother’s thoughts were thinking beyond that afternoon. “Are-“ Lucy began hesitantly. “Are you, umm, thinking- thinking about Christmas?”

“…Well I am NOW, thanks for that!” Luke spat, before rhythmically thumping his head into his pillow. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, I really don’t know how I’m going to get through Christmas. Sorry- how WE’RE going to get through it.”

“Well, we- we’ll get through it the same way we always have,” Lucy said softly, before smiling as a gentle knock came from Luke’s door. “Together. And by ‘together’ I don’t just mean the two of us, not anymore.”

“Hi,” Kieran said with a nervous wave as Lucy opened the door and gestured for him to enter.

“Thank you so much again for what you did today,” Lucy said softly as she gave the young man (who was once again dressed as a young man) a gentle hug, before taking from him the carrier bag he'd brought with him. “You have NO idea how much I owe you for this.”

“It was my pleasure, really,” Kieran chuckled. “Though I- I’m afraid I may have, heh, sweated a bit- you know, with nerves…”

“It’s okay,” Lucy said softly. “I can wash the clothes when I wash yours, and I was going to throw those tights away anyway, they were getting a bit past it, heh!”

“Yeah,” Kieran said, before sighing sadly as he sat down next to Luke on his bed. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Luke mumbled back. “Th- thanks for your help today, Kieran.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Kieran said with a friendly smile. “I don’t mind being the ‘fairy godmother’ for one day, heh.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled, before frowning as he gazed at the clock in his room. “Ugh, I’ve got to get going, got a match to get ready for…”

“Don’t- I don’t think you’re in any condition for the match,” Lucy said. “Not today. I’ll get changed, I’ll go and see James and tell him you’re still feeling ill.”

“No,” Luke said firmly. “I- I’ve already let you down today, I’m not letting the team down as well!”

“How- how exactly have you ‘let me down’?” Lucy asked. “Like I’ve said a million times, we do this together, right?”

“…Always,” Luke mumbled with a nod. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, Luce.”

“And stop apologising too,” Lucy ordered. “Today’s been shitty for both of us. But we can move past it now. We’ve got a phone call with Dr Adams on Monday afternoon anyway, we- WE can talk more about it then. In the meantime, we put today behind us, okay?”

“WAY behind us,” Luke said, breaking into a smile for the first time since he returned to his room. “Ugh, you’re right, I know you’re right, I- I just can’t help but think that this- this life we have, it- it could all end at a moment’s notice, you know? Seeing dad today just hammered that home for me. I never, never, NEVER want to be a girl again. Ever. Even- even to be seen as a girl, or thought of as one, it- it literally makes me want to puke. No offence.”

“You know I’m not going to take offence at that,” Lucy chuckled. “And- yeah, I know where you’re coming from. There’s a part of me that never thought I’d have to wear clothes like this again. But I know it’s only temporary. We- that is, I am Lucy Miller. When I was meeting with dad, I was just pretending to be a boy. The real me is female.” At least I really, really hope it is, Lucy thought to herself.

“…Aye,” Luke sighed. “And thanks.”

“Don’t think anything of it,” Lucy said softly. “You are and always will be the most important person in my life. I would do ANYTHING for you.”

“Same here,” Luke whispered.

“So cute,” Kieran sighed happily. “I mean, they say twins are supposed to be close, but- yeah. Heh, sorry if I’m, like, intruding or anything…”

“Nah, you’re okay,” Luke said with a grin. “I mean, you can never have too many friends, right?”

“Always been my motto,” Kieran giggled. “I will give you some space, though, if that’s what you want.”

“Ah, actually, I- I kinda need to change,” Lucy said, gesturing to Kieran's clothes that were still covering her body. “Then I’ll go and have a word with the footie team for you.”

“Thanks,” Luke said as he sat up on his bed and let out a long sigh.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kieran said, smiling as he gave Luke’s hand a gentle squeeze. “What kind of ‘fairy godmother’ would I be if I just left you in the lurch?”

“We still really, really owe you for today,” Luke said softly as Lucy headed back to her own room. “God know if I’d had to wear Lucy’s skirt… Heh. Like I had to a million times when growing up.”

“Well, you won’t need to anymore,” Kieran chuckled.

“Well, fingers crossed,” Luke snorted. “And fingers crossed that you won’t need to, either!”

“Yeah,” Kieran chuckled nervously as he and Luke said goodbye to Lucy with a hug each.

Lucy let out a sigh as she returned to her room and immediately stripped out of Kieran’s jeans and sweatshirt, examining herself mirror clad only in her camisole and panties- something that at least helped her to feel slightly feminine as she covered them with Kieran's clothes. Acting almost automatically, Lucy pulled on a tight dark grey turtleneck, followed by a pair of opaque black tights and a black pencil mini skirt, before sitting down in front of her mirror and carefully reapplying the make-up she’d so hastily scrubbed away that morning.

As Lucy ‘reassembled’ herself, she gazed in the mirror at the teenage girl staring back at her and smiled. She once again felt 'whole', and the face that stared back at her was unquestionably that of a girl. However, Lucy wondered whether or not she'd ever be able to see the girl inside without any make-up on her face. After all, Luke didn't need make-up to see the boy inside- quite the opposite, in fact. After slipping her feet into her favourite pair of flats, Lucy grabbed her handbag and made her way out of her dorm, steeling herself for the inevitable confrontation as she headed toward the sports fields.

“Just a sec,” the unmistakable Lincolnshire accent of James Thorn said as Lucy knocked on the door to the football team’s changing room. Lucy braced herself for the inevitable jeers and catcalls from the other men in the room- and the inevitable unwanted memories of her own times in such changing rooms when she was at school. “Oh, hi Lucy!”

“H- hi,” Lucy said nervously as many of the other men on the team- some almost in a state of total undress- cheered and whistled at her.

“Heh, trust me, you wouldn’t be cheering if you knew what was underneath that skirt!” One of the boys in the team shouted in a coarse Yorkshire accent.

“Shut it, Barnes,” James snorted. “How can I help, Lucy?”

“Ehh, it- it’s Luke,” Lucy replied quietly. “He- he’s still feeling kinda unwell, he won’t be able to play today.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that,” James sighed. “Is he still feeling the effects of last night?”

“Or PMS?” Barnes yelled, smiling smugly as he earned laughs from several of his teammates.

“Seriously, one more word and I’ll fucking bench you,” James threatened.

“Oh sure,” Barnes snorted. “You’re really going to drop your best striker for using his freedom of speech?”

“Let- let’s go somewhere else to talk,” James sighed as he led Lucy away from the jeering boys.

“Does- does Luke really get changed in there with those guys?” Lucy asked, the thought making her feel uneasy.

“What, those guys?” James asked. “Nah, that’s our A side, Luke plays for the C side. Most of the A side players don’t have any brains above their ankles, heh. Great for playing football, not for much else. But- anyway. Tell Luke I hope he gets well soon, if he wants, I’ll keep him in mind in case there are any more openings on the B side.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said uneasily- something that wasn’t lost on the young man.

“What- what’s up?” James asked.

“Hmm?” Lucy replied. “Oh, it- it’s nothing, I don’t want to keep you from your match.”

“Nah, it’s okay, I’ve got a couple of minutes,” James shrugged, before smiling sympathetically. “Are you worried about your brother?”

“Maybe a little,” Lucy mumbled. “It’s just- ugh. I mean, you know me, my history… I’ve kinda got, like, first-hand experience of boys’ locker rooms and- well, I’m kinda worried that, you know, Luke doesn’t- well, not much, anyway…”

“It’s okay that you’re worried about him, but you shouldn’t be,” James reassured the young woman. “Luke can look after himself, he’s a lot stronger than you think.”

“Yeah, I wish that were true,” Lucy sighed sadly.

The twins spent the rest of their Saturday and the whole of Sunday staying in their rooms studying, watching TV and trying to take their minds off of their encounter with their father- and the fact that their next encounter would be along a lot sooner than either twin would’ve preferred. It came as a relief to Luke and Lucy when Monday came around again, as it marked a return to their normal routine of studying, but also the return of the rest of their friends.

“Ugh, I am SO sorry you two went through that,” Susie sighed. “If I’d known I’d have jumped on the first train from Newcastle, I really would.”

“Me too,” Gavin concurred. “What help I’d have been, anyway.”

“Which is probably ‘none’, no offence,” Luke sighed, before smiling. “But I do appreciate the gesture.”

“And thankfully we had the hero of the hour around to help!” Lucy said, giving Kieran’s hand a gentle squeeze and making the young man blush.

“Honestly, it was nothing,” Kieran mumbled. “I saw a friend in need and helped out, that’s all. Any one of you would’ve done the same.”

“Yeah, but we weren’t able to,” Priya sighed. “And my clothes wouldn’t fit Luke anyway.”

“And there’s no way in hell I’d ever want to wear them, no offence,” Luke snorted, making the Indian girl giggle.

“Honestly, none taken!” Priya chuckled. “I just- I just really wish there was more I could do to help you. Both of you.”

“Same here,” Claudia said quietly.

“Honestly, this-“ Lucy said, gesturing to the seven people sat at the table, “this is fine, just knowing that we have friends who’ll be there for us, it- it’s more than you know.”

“I can vouch for that from experience,” Priya said softly, while Lucy bit her lip, worrying that the 'locker room environment', especially compared to her dance class, would mean that Luke would need the support far more than she would.

“Anyway,” Luke said. “Anyone got any plans for Halloween on Wednesday?”

“You mean, ‘are there any parties we can crash’?” Gavin asked with a grin.

“And I thought it was only Lucy who was supposed to be able to read my mind,” Luke said, sharing a joke with his sister as they and their friends relaxed. However, while he was genuinely looking forward to his first university Halloween party, he was more concerned with distracting himself from the possibility of a meeting with one or both of his parents the following weekend- or worse still, Christmas...

After their lunch was over, the twins returned to Lucy's room, where they both prepared themselves for what they hoped would be the most help in easing their anxiety from the weekend.

“Well, I can definitely see how that must’ve been a stressful weekend,” Dr Adams said over Lucy's speakerphone. “What’s most important is how are you feeling now?”

“Happy to be back to- well, normal, I guess,” Luke replied. “By which I mean, like, my studies and all that.”

“We’re probably the only people in the country who actually look forward to Mondays, heh,” Lucy chuckled.

“Well, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that,” Dr Adams chuckled. “But this is something that will need to be addressed sooner or later. What would you have done if your friend Kieran hadn’t been with you?”

“I- I don’t even want to think about it,” Lucy mumbled in reply, before letting out a long, frustrated sigh. “Yeah, but I know I do need to think about it. Heh, as well as liking Mondays, we’re probably the only people in the country under the age of 25 who AREN’T looking forward to Christmas.”

“Indeed,” Dr Adams said. “Have you thought yet about how you want to approach coming out to your parents?”

“Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl,” Luke replied quietly. “But not as much as the thought of being a girl again.”

“Same here,” Lucy mumbled. “I mean, like, about being a boy again.”

“I understand,” Dr Adams said. “Well, I am here to help, as always. But you both need to understand that what happened this weekend could easily happen again. I don’t want to make you paranoid, but you need to take this seriously if you are to live permanently as your preferred gender. You are both still serious about ultimately transitioning, I assume?”

“200%,” Luke replied confidently.

“Absolutely,” Lucy said. “And I guess we knew it wouldn’t be easy, but- ugh.”

“But that’s why you want my help,” Dr Adams said softly. “And that’s what I’m here to do- to help you.”

“I know,” Lucy sighed. “But I- I just keep thinking about, you know, all the worst-case scenarios. Like, my friend Priya’s got two transgender friends in London, and she’s told us about how one of them was actually kidnapped by their father and forced to live as their birth gender, and- well, I doubt our parents would do that, but- yeah.”

“And I wouldn’t put it past our grandparents,” Luke snorted.

“Well we’ll file that thought under ‘absolute worst-case scenario’ for now,” Dr Adams said softly. “And we’ll worry about your grandparents later. For now, it’s important to recognise and acknowledge the positives in your lives, too. I want you to tell me about some of the positives that have happened to you over the last week.”

“Not many,” Luke snorted. “Well, I did get picked for the uni football team’s B side, that’s something, even if I didn’t get to play in the end because of my dad.”

“Though I did talk to the team captain on Luke’s behalf,” Lucy said. “And he has said that the opportunity will come round again. Though-“ Lucy bit her lip as she paused, her brother and her counsellor waiting expectantly.

“…Though what?” Luke asked as Lucy continued to fidget. As much as she wanted to talk about the teasing she'd received from Barnes- and her worry that Luke had to endure the same, if not worse- she knew that Luke wouldn't appreciate her bringing that up while he was unprepared to talk about it.

“Ehh- not important,” Lucy said with a smile. “Things are still going good for me in the dance society, I’m having a lot of fun, though it’s mostly just the chance to hang out with girls- sorry, OTHER girls who accept me for who I am.”

“I’m glad you’re continuing to make friends,” Dr Adams said. “It’s good to focus on the positives in your lives, that you have your friends, and each other to rely on.”

“Aye,” Luke whispered.

“Always,” Lucy said as she reached across and gave her brother’s hand a gentle, supportive squeeze. Both Luke and Lucy mused on how they did have a lot to be grateful for, how there were many positives in their lives- but how a confrontation with their family was inevitable…

“You two look exhausted,” Priya said as Luke and Lucy sat down at their usual table in the Student Union bar. “I don’t need to guess why, do I?” The Indian girl bit her lip as her two friends both shook their heads.

“Ugh,” Luke sighed, sharing a knowing glance with his sister. “Never mind ‘back from holiday’, I feel like I NEED a holiday.” Luke allowed himself a smile as his friends Gavin and Susie smiled sympathetically.

“Aye, same here,” Lucy sighed. “I’m just really, really happy to be back at uni, though. Can’t wait for the first dance class of the year, work out a bit of stress, heh!”

“We’ll have to see if they’re still accepting sign-ups for the Tae Kwon Do society as well, then?” Claudia teased her friend, who rolled her eyes in reply.

“Don’t tempt us,” Luke snorted. “Meh, the important thing is that we’re back at uni now.” For now, at least, Luke ruefully thought to himself as his mind flashed back to two weeks earlier.

----------

“Lucy!” The twins’ father shouted up the stairs, waking the young man from his slumber. In his tired, disoriented state, it took several seconds for Luke to realise that instead of being in his university dorm, he was back in his bedroom in his parents’ house- and his father expected him, not his sister, to answer his call.

“I’m awake,” Luke replied, making no effort to disguise the tiredness in his voice or the lower, more masculine pitch he'd used during his first semester of university. “I’ll be down in a bit.”

“It’s almost 9:30,” Paul said with a laugh. “When you were younger, you’d have been up before seven on Christmas Eve!” Yeah, well, when I was younger, I sometimes looked forward to Christmas, Luke thought to himself, taking little comfort from the fact that what his sister had to endure was just as bad.

Sure enough, when Luke finally trudged down the stairs, he found Lucy sitting on the sofa, wearing a plain hoodie and pair of jeans with her hair slicked back, her face devoid of make-up and trying her hardest not to look as miserable as she felt.

“Ah, good morning, finally!” Sarah teased Luke.

“Morning,” the young trans man replied as he sat down next to his sister.

“What have you two got planned for today, then?” Sarah asked, not flinching under the withering stares from her children.

“Nothing much, really,” Luke replied.

”N- nope,” Lucy mumbled, internally cringing at the masculine pitch of her voice.

“Good,” Sarah said, unknowingly making her children nervous as a smile spread across her face. “I was thinking, Lucy, how about you and me have a girly say out? We can do a bit of shopping, get our hair and nails done, what do you say?” Lucy felt her heart swell as her mother made an offer she'd only ever dreamed of hearing, before feeling her heart sink as she realised that the offer wasn’t intended for her, but for her brother- whose eyes widened in sheer terror at the prospect.

“I- um- ah-“ Luke stammered nervously as panic gripped his body.

“I know you’ve got this whole ‘tomboy’ thing going on right now,” Sarah said. “Which really doesn’t suit you, by the way. But I figured as a Christmas treat, we could get glammed up before we go to see your grandparents tomorrow?” And thank you for reminding me of THAT, Luke thought to himself as he felt the bile rise in his throat.

“Uhh…” Luke groaned, his mouth physically unable to form the words he desperately wanted to say- that he didn’t want to see his grandparents, that he didn’t want to have his hair or nails done, and that he most definitely was NOT a ‘tomboy’, but just a boy…

“Oh- actually,” Lucy said as she racked her brains for a way to 'save' her brother. “We- we kinda arranged to meet up with Susie for- umm, with Susie AND Gavin for lunch.”

“Well- well Susie could always come with us,” Sarah suggested. “It could be my treat, like.”

“Umm, actually, we-“ Lucy said, racking her brains as she thought of an excuse to give her mother. “We’re probably going to be busy all afternoon.”

“Oh, okay then,” Sarah said, making no attempt to hide the disappointment in her voice. “Well, if you change your mind or you become available later in the day, just give us a call, okay?”

“Okay,” Luke mumbled, before groaning in pain as his mother left the room.

“It’s okay,” Lucy whispered as she gave her brother’s hand a gentle squeeze. “It’ll be okay.”

“H- how?” Luke snorted angrily. “When? When will any of this be okay? You know that when mum says ‘if you change your mind’ she means ‘when you change your mind’. And who are you texting?”

“Susie and Gavin,” Lucy replied with a tired sigh. “Figured that just in case, you know, we’re being checked up on… Ugh. Maybe we’re both being paranoid, I dunno. Trust me when I say you’re not the only one stressing out about all this.”

“Yeah, I know,” Luke sighed, leaning his head on his sister’s broad shoulder. “And I know that you’ve got it just as bad as me, I mean, no one looks at a tomboy, right?”

“But everyone looks at a guy presenting as a girl,” Lucy sighed. “It’s going to be even weirder if we do meet up with Gavin today- he’s never met ‘not-Lucy’ before, remember?

“Ah- shit, yeah, you’re right,” Luke sighed. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, Luce. And thanks for, like, coming up with an ‘escape plan’, heh.”

“Hey, we do this together, right?” Lucy asked with a sad smile.

“Always,” Luke whispered, giving her brother a gentle hug before their parents returned to the room.

“So what’s this I hear about the two of you making plans that don’t include your long-suffering parents?” Paul asked with a frown that made the twins cringe, before letting out a light-hearted chuckle. “Oh come on, I’m just pulling yas legs, of course you’re gonna want to spend time with your friends! And I’m glad you’ve made more friends at uni too. So, are we ever gonna meet this ‘Gavin’ fella or are ya gonna make us wait forever like ya did with Susie? He lives in Newcastle, right?”

“Umm, aye,” Lucy replied, fidgeting uncomfortably.

“…Well?” Paul asked. “We ever gonna meet him at any point? I know, I know, ya don’t want ya parents embarrassing ya in front of ya mates, but with yas both in Durham it sometimes feels like yas both strangers, ya know?” You don’t know the half of it, Lucy thought as she fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Well, umm, maybe,” Lucy mumbled.

“Is he on your course as well as Susie?” Sarah asked. “Or is he maybe someone’s boyfriend…?”

“Mum…” Luke mumbled as he tried not to blush.

“Oh, come on,” Sarah teased. “All throughout your time at school we were worried that you weren’t making friends, I mean, you had each other, but we’re just pleased that you’re now actually making good friends, you know? It’d be nice to meet them just once.”

“Well- maybe some time,” Lucy shrugged.

“So how did ya meet this Gavin guy, anyway?” Paul asked. “Is he on the same course as you?”

“Umm, no, he does modern art,” Lucy replied, before silently cursing as she realised her answer would only result in further questions. “He, umm, he’s a fan of the football team.”

“…What, Lucy’s team, the girl’s team?” Paul asked derisively. Shit, Lucy thought to herself as she desperately racked her brains for an excuse.

“He- he’s gay,” Luke said, trying not to flinch as his twin glared at him.

“Umm… Okay,” Paul said, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. “Is- is there something you need to tell us, Luke?” Lucy felt her eyes widen even further as she was suddenly put on the spot, having to resist the urge to elbow her brother in the ribs.

“I- I’m not his type,” Lucy said, biting her lip to keep herself from smirking at the ‘technical truth’ she’d just told.

“Well- fair enough,” Paul shrugged with a loud sigh. “Just don’t tell your grandparents tomorrow that ya hang out with a poof, heh!”

“Yeah… no danger of that,” Luke snorted as he and Lucy tried to relax enough to be able to eat their breakfast.

After they’d finished eating, the twins returned to their bedrooms to get ready for their impromptu day in the city centre, and while Luke pulled on his usual jeans and hoodie without a second thought, Lucy let out a sigh as she returned to her bedroom.

In her room at the university, she had her wardrobe full of her clothes and a dresser full of her favourite cosmetics. However, all of those treasured possessions were under lock and key, either at university of under the care of Susie, and every trace of ‘Lucy’ had been scrubbed away and would remain that way until the end of the holiday. Lucy cringed as she pulled on an outfit almost identical to her brother's, and even though she knew the holiday would soon be over and she would soon get the chance to be ‘Lucy’ again, she wondered whether or not she’d be able to return to that life as easily as she’d left it…

“I had wondered how you two were doing,” Susie said sympathetically as the twins sat down next to her and Gavin in a coffee shop in the city centre. “Wasn’t surprised to get your text this morning, heh.”

“Me either,” Gavin sighed. “Though I am kinda surprised that you’d, you know, want me to see you like- well…” Lucy frowned, her cheeks reddening as her friend glanced at her.

“Y- yeah,” Lucy mumbled, fidgeting in the clothes that had quickly become unfamiliar to her. “Believe me, if I had any say in the matter, it’d be different, but- ugh. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah, I know a thing or two about awkward comings out,” Gavin sighed. “Why is it, like, the default assumption that everyone is straight and cis, anyway? I mean, I came out to my parents when I was fourteen, and at first, they were like ‘you’re only fourteen, how can you know you’re gay’? Well, how do people know they’re straight when they’re fourteen? But that’s, like, a silly question to most people.”

“Most STRAIGHT people,” Susie snorted as the twins nodded in agreement. “Ugh. Anyways, what do you guys want to do? I mean, I’ve done all my Christmas shopping already.”

“Same here,” Gavin said. “I mean, I’d be leaving it a bit late if I hadn’t, heh. And the MetroCentre’s going to be rammed today, so- yeah.”

“Honestly, just being out of the house is good enough for me,” Luke sighed. “I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow.”

“Your grandparents?” Susie asked, smiling sympathetically as the twins nodded.

“I doubt our ‘presents’ will be much fun, either,” Lucy sighed. “We’re going to wait until we get back to uni before we give our presents to each other, like.”

“And we bought the usual ‘fake’ ones to give to each other,” Luke explained. “Lynx Africa sets for Luce, Angels Funko Pops for me, that sort of thing.”

“…They do Angels Funko Pops now?” Susie asked.

“Aye,” Luke replied with a grin. “A couple of which I’m going to give to Lucy when we get back to uni- well, as well as the ones she gave me, heh. Kinda like a ‘private gift giving’ sort of thing.”

“That makes sense,” Gavin said with a shrug. “And it works out well, as the presents we’ve got the both of you probably would’ve been disappointing if you opened them under your, well, ‘old’ names.”

“Oh- you didn’t have to get us anything, really,” Lucy said.

“Ah, come on, how long have we been friends?” Susie retorted.

“And it’s not like we got you gold watches or anything,” Gavin chuckled. “Just a few trinkets for your uni rooms, something to say ‘thanks for being friends’.”

“Well- okay,” Lucy sighed. “But we- we kinda didn’t get anything for you, only cards…”

“And, like, we only exchanged cards the last two years, too,” Luke said to Susie, who simply shrugged in response.

“Meh, cards are cool,” Susie said. “Seriously, don’t worry about, like, ‘balancing the books’ when it comes to presents. That’s not what Christmas should be about, anyway.”

“Aye, well, it should be about family, but that ain’t happening this year either,” Luke sighed. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to listen to us whine, especially not today, heh.”

“Meh, it’s a stressful time of year for you, listening to you vent is the least we can do,” Gavin said with a shrug. “I would say ‘consider it another present’ but given what we were just talking about, that probably wouldn’t be helping much!”

“Not really,” Luke snorted.

“But thanks regardless,” Lucy said with a smile. “Ugh, let- let us do SOMETHING for you at least, even if it’s just, like, a meal or something.”

“You really don’t have to,” Susie said as Gavin got his phone out and began checking it.

“But if you do really want to,” Gavin said, “there’s an escape room nearby and I’ve always wanted to check one of those out. It’s not too expensive either, only £15.”

“An escape room?” Lucy asked, before shrugging. “Sounds fun. Okay, guess it can be our treat then!” Everyone at the table smiled as Gavin confirmed the booking on his phone before leaving the coffee shop and making their way across the city.

The four teenagers spent the rest of the afternoon having fun as they solved puzzles, cracked codes and ultimately escaped the room with only a few minutes to spare. All throughout the afternoon, both Luke and Lucy were able to forget about their stresses, about Lucy's 'wrong' clothes, Luke's 'expectations' from their mother and the inevitable awkwardness they'd come to associate with a visit to their grandparents'. However, as they made their way out of the escape room, Luke and Lucy realised that escaping the lives waiting for them back at home would be considerably harder than solving a bunch of puzzles…

The twins arrived home shortly after 5pm, tired from both the excitement of the day and anxiety about what the rest of the festive period would bring- anxiety that intensified when they entered the living room to be greeted by the smiling face of their father.

“Now then, you two!” Paul chuckled as the twins sat down together on the sofa. “Did you have a good day out with your friends?”

“Umm, aye, it was fun, thanks!” Lucy chuckled nervously. “We- umm, Gavin had booked us into an escape room, so that was fun.”

“What’s one of them when they’re at home?” Paul asked.

“Umm, you know, it’s where you’re locked in a room together, and you kinda, like, have to solve puzzles in order to escape, hence the name,” Luke replied.

“Ah, kinda like the Crystal Maze?” Paul asked with a knowing nod. “Heh, when I was your age, if two boys and two girls were locked in a room together, the last thing they’d be thinking about was escaping!”

“Paul!” Sarah chastised her husband, giving him a playful whack on the arm with a tea towel.

“What?” The middle-aged man protested. “I’m just teasing, you know?”

“You can tease without being inappropriate,” Sarah snorted, before turning to her children. “I just got off the phone with your Nanna and Grandpa in Spain, they wanted to speak to you but when I explained you were both out they understood. They will want to talk to the two of you tonight on Skype, though.”

“Okay,” Lucy said with a shrug- while they rarely saw their grandparents in Spain, the twins got on well enough with them, though not well enough to entrust them with their true identities.

After a quick dinner, the twins tried to relax by watching television with their parents, but stress over the upcoming video call threatened to overwhelm them, causing both to leave the living room early and get the call over and done with.

Luke grimaced as he sat on his sister’s bed while she loaded up Skype on her laptop. It was hardly a new situation for Luke- at university he’d spend many evenings sat on his sister’s bed as they helped each other to study- but he still felt nervous. In all of his time as ‘Luke’, he’d barely even thought about the grandparents that he hadn’t seen in the flesh for over eight years. The last time they saw him, he was a healthy, outwardly happy ten-year-old girl. Luke felt himself fidget as he thought about how they would react to the androgynous-looking person looking back at them from their screen- or rather, at the androgynous people, as Luke was reminded when he saw his sister slick her shoulder-length hair back from her forehead.

“Hey,” Luke whispered. “You okay?”

“Mm?” Lucy replied, before sighing and nodding. “Ugh, yeah… I just want to get this over with, and yes, I know how bad that sounds.”

“Nah, I agree 100%,” Luke snorted. “Even if Nanna Julie and Grandpa Dave are less of a pain than Grandpa Derek and Grandma Eileen, they still- well…”

“I know what you mean,” Lucy whispered, before forcing a smile onto her make-up free face as the Skype call connected and the two well-tanned senior citizens appeared on screen.”

“Hi you two!” The elderly woman said with a wide grin. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” Luke and Lucy replied with wide grins.

“So, what have yas two been up to since we last talked?” The twins’ grandfather asked with a wide grin on his bearded face. “Working hard at university, I hope?”

“Oh- aye, definitely,” Luke replied.

“Not broken too many young girls’ hearts, I hope?” Dave asked, making his taller grandchild fidget uncomfortably.

“…Not YET,” Lucy eventually replied, the meekness of her reply going unnoticed.

“Atta boy!” Dave chuckled. “And you, young lady? Working hard as well, I hope?” Luke bristled and tried his hardest not to frown as he was addressed as ‘young lady’, but a frown still spread across his face as he replied.

“Umm, yeah,” Luke mumbled. “Like… Really hard.”

“And hopefully not being too distracted by all those boys at university?” Julie asked, chuckling as Luke rolled his eyes.

“And I hope you’re looking after your sister, young man!” Dave said, again making Luke bristle.

“We- we kinda look out for each other,” Luke retorted, trying his hardest to keep the anger out of his voice. “And we’ve got a group of friends too, so- yeah.”

“Aye, well that’s good ta hear,” Dave said. “I remember your parents being worried while you were growing up that you two weren’t making as many friends as other kids.”

“I remember them also being worried that you used to wear each other’s clothes!” Julie laughed as her grandchildren tried not to blush. “Thankfully, you grew out of THAT phase quickly!”

“…Yeah,” Lucy chuckled nervously. “Umm, anyway… What- what will you be doing tomorrow?”

“Same as we do every Christmas Day,” Dave chuckled. “Relaxing by the pool, eating dinner with our neighbours, watching the Queen's speech, the usual.”

"Heh, it- it's the usual for us as well," Lucy chuckled.

"Heading to your other grandparents' house for dinner?" Julie asked, smiling as the twins nodded. "Well, be sure and send them our best wishes!"

"Will do," Lucy said, trying her hardest to relax as the conversation moved on to other topics including the weather, sport and countless other things that the twins tried their best to feign interest in.

Luke and Lucy let out a long sigh as the call eventually ended, though while they were relieved that the obligation was over, they were still frustrated that they were no closer to coming out publicly, nor did they have another ally on whose support they could rely.

The twins spent the rest of the evening watching television with their parents, doing coursework, briefly chatting with their friends online and trying hard not to think about the confrontation that awaited them the following day. However, as much as the evening dragged on, it eventually came to an end, and as the twins settled into bed and tried to sleep, the only thing on their minds was how much they missed their university friends- and how much they missed their university lives.

“Come on, wake up!” Lucy heard her father say the following morning as she was shaken awake from her slumber. “Merry Christmas, son!”

“…Merry Christmas, dad,” Lucy replied with what little enthusiasm she could muster up. “What time is it?”

“About four hours later than when you’d have got up five years ago!” Paul chuckled. “Ya mum and ya sister are already awake, so get your dressing gown on, then we can get downstairs and actually start opening some presents!”

“Sure!” Lucy said, forcing a smile on her face as she threw her sheets back, wrapped her plain boy's dressing gown around her cold body and followed her father down to the living room, where her brother was waiting with a frown on his face.

“Merry Christmas Luc- umm, Luke,” Luke said, biting his lip with embarrassment as he used the name that he knew his sister hated, and frowning as he awaited the inevitable unwanted response.

“M- merry Christmas, Lucy,” Lucy replied with an apologetic look in her eyes.

“…Right, well, now that’s over with,” Paul said, sensing the awkwardness in the room, “I’ll just grab your mother then we can start opening your presents! Hopefully THAT will put the smiles back on your faces!” Luke and Lucy both grinned at their father’s suggestion, though as had become the norm for the festive season, both twins dreaded what they were about to open.

After their mother returned to the living room with bacon sandwiches and coffee for the twins, Luke and Lucy began opening their presents, forcing smiles onto their face even as each present proved to be more disappointing than the last.

Lucy felt her heart sink as she unwrapped gifts that obviously contained items of clothing, only to find a new pair of men’s jeans, two men’s sweaters and a handful of t-shirts, including a brand-new Newcastle United FC replica shirt. In her other gifts, she found shaving kits, men’s deodorant sets and fancy beers- all of which seemed to serve to remind Lucy that no matter how hard she tried, she’d never be a ‘real’ woman.

Meanwhile, Luke felt his tension levels rise as he unwrapped gifts such as scented candles, fancy soaps and toiletries and cosmetics sets. Unlike his sister, Luke had left his clothing gifts for last in the vain hope that he’d somehow be able to forget about them, but when the other presents ran out, he knew he couldn't avoid them any longer. As his mother looked on excitedly, Luke felt his stomach churn as he unwrapped a new pair of women’s hipster jeans, two close-fitting t-shirts and worst of all, a brand-new form-fitting dress with long, lacy sleeves and a slender knee-length skirt.

“Umm, th- thanks,” Luke mumbled as he desperately tried not to throw up over the front of the new dress.

“I know you didn’t like the one we got you for your birthday,” Sarah said, “but this one’s a lot more ‘grown-up’.”

“Y- yeah,” Luke stammered anxiously.

“And that’s not all!” Sarah said with an excited giggle as she handed Luke one final present, which Luke was immediately able to deduce was a shoebox from its size and shape. “You’re still a size 5, aren’t you?”

“Umm, aye,” Luke replied, grimacing at the reminder that even his feet were unmistakably feminine. His mood worsened, though, when he opened the shoebox to be greeted by a pair of shiny black pumps with a thick 3” heel.

“Well?” Sarah asked expectantly.

“Umm, uh- thanks,” Luke said, gritting his teeth so as not to scream. “I- umm, I- I’ll try them on later, maybe…”

“Maybe when you go round your grandparents’?” Paul asked, unknowingly causing a sense of panic to grip his child.

“Maybe,” Luke whispered, carefully putting the shoes and the dress to one side, trying his hardest to avoid touching them, almost as though he feared they would burn him.

“Well, you’re going to need to get ready for your grandparents’ in a bit,” Paul said, causing Luke’s stress levels to rise yet again. “Though you've got plenty of time to enjoy your presents in the meantime, heh!”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy said nervously as Paul switched on the television and the twins tried to relax .

Eventually, though, the time came for the twins to head upstairs to change, ready for their trip to their grandparents’ house. Lucy sighed as she exchanged her otherwise comfortable pyjamas for a smart pair of black trousers and a button up white shirt, and while she had never worn heels before- she only wore trainers or flats at university- she still felt a twinge of envy as she laced up her smart black shoes, knowing that her brother had a more feminine option waiting for him. However, as envious as she felt, Lucy felt much worse for her brother, knowing that their parents would be expecting Luke to wear his new dress and shoes to their grandparents- and knowing that his brother would rather die than do that.

As Lucy had assumed, while she was getting ready for their trip to their grandparents’, Luke was pacing back and forth in his room, trying his hardest not to have a panic attack. He hadn’t worn a scrap of make-up in months, hadn’t worn a dress or a skirt in even longer and had never ever worn heels, and yet his parents were expecting him to become the elegant young woman they obviously pictured in their head, no matter how little their mental image reflected reality- or how reluctant he had been nine short months earlier.

Luke wanted to scream and shout at his parents that he wasn’t the woman they wanted him to be, that he was and always had been a boy, but Luke knew that he couldn’t do that for one simple reason- his sister. If Luke were to explain that he was the ‘real’ Luke, it’d raise questions as to who the ‘real’ Lucy was, and Luke knew deep down that his sister would have it ten times harder than him when she came out. Luke and Lucy insisted that everything they did, they did together, but with every passing day, Luke found himself wishing more and more that Lucy was as ‘ready’ as he was…

“Hey,” Lucy said as she gently knocked on her brother’s door. “You ready?” Lucy frowned as she received no response from her brother, before sighing and gently opening the door. Lucy frowned as she entered the room and was greeted by the sight of Luke spread out on his bed, dressed in just a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

“Hey,” Luke grunted. “And before you ask, no, I’m not wearing this to grandma and grandpa’s.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Lucy whispered gently. “Though I- I guess you’re not wearing the dress either?”

“Good guess,” Luke scoffed, before groaning with pain. “How- how deluded are mum and dad, anyway? I literally couldn’t make it any more obvious that I’m not interested in all of that girl shit, and they want to turn me into Kim Kardashian or something.”

“Their presents have been a little ignorant, aye,” Lucy sighed.

“A ‘little’?” Luke snorted, before letting out a sigh of his own. “I- ugh. We knew this holiday was gonna suck. I just didn’t know it’d suck THIS much.”

“Well- it’ll be over soon,” Lucy sighed. “Then we can- heh. We can get ‘back to normal’.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, a smile briefly flitting across his face at the thought. “Ugh, may as well get this over with, I guess.”

“Yep,” Lucy said. “Do you- do you need to borrow anything? Clothes-wise, I mean?”

“Nah, I’ll find something,” Luke grunted. “Ugh, if only we were still the same size, heh. Then I could get rid of the dress to you, heh.”

“And the shoes,” Lucy sighed. “Try finding high heels in a size 10.”

“Try finding shoes like that in a size 5,” Luke snorted as he gestured to the smart shoes on his sister’s feet. “Ugh, I dunno. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Lucy said, giving her brother’s hand a gentle squeeze as she left the room. However, Luke was far from sure- and secretly, neither was Lucy.

Eventually, though, the twins returned to the living room ready for their trip to their grandparents’ house, and while Lucy felt uncomfortable in her clothes, she at least knew she’d be able to ‘fly under the radar’. However, both twins knew that the same couldn’t be said for Luke.

“Looking smart, son!” Paul said with a grin as he gave Lucy a playful pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, gazing over to her brother and their mother, the latter of whom had a confused look on her face.

“Why- why aren’t you wearing your new dress?” Sarah asked as she examined Luke, who was dressed almost identically to his sister.

“I- umm, I just didn’t feel like it,” Luke replied with a shrug, his stomach churning as he suddenly felt like a little boy again- or worse still, like a little girl.

“Well, it- it cost a lot of money,” Sarah said. “Surely you want to get dressed up, don’t you?” You literally learned NOTHING from my birthday, the young man thought to himself as his left fist involuntarily clenched into a fist.

“Well, I- I don’t like wearing dresses,” Luke protested. “Or skirts, or anything like that, I-“ I am a boy, Luke thought to himself. Deep down, I am and always have been a boy. However, as much as he wanted to blurt out the truth, he knew that he couldn’t- not without his sister’s support and approval. “I- umm, I haven’t worn a dress in ages, I just- I just feel more comfortable like this.”

“Well I’m not saying you should wear it around the house,” Sarah snorted. “Just on, like, special occasions. Go and get changed, we’ll wait for you in the car.”

“N- no,” Luke said firmly. “I’d rather wear this.” Luke bit his lip as an angry expression spread across his mother’s face.

“You know,” Sarah said disdainfully, “you have a LOT of growing up to do if you want to live in the real world.”

“So is part of ‘growing up’ letting yourself be dressed by your parents?” Luke asked, immediately regretting the words the second they left his mouth.

“…Okay, you know what?” Sarah snapped. “If you don’t want to go to your grandparents’, then don’t go. We’ll enjoy Christmas Day without you.”

“Works for me,” Luke snorted, turning around to storm back upstairs only to pause and briefly glance into his sister’s eyes. It was only after Lucy nodded her approval that Luke left the room, returning to his bedroom and letting out a long, frustrated scream into his pillow.

Luke spent the next three hours in his bedroom, trying to distract himself with his phone or his PlayStation, but all he could think about was how his actions had threatened to ruin not just his Christmas, but his family’s Christmas, and worst of all, his sister’s Christmas. Luke felt a sense of intense guilt as he thought about Lucy having to endure their grandfather’s jibes alone, without him there to back him up. Luke and Lucy had always said that whatever they did, they did together, and for the first time since they’d come out to each other, they were alone.

Luke hesitantly got off his bed and paced across the room, barely suppressing a shudder at the sight of the dress and the shoes where they’d been left on his chair. Tentatively, Luke approached the garment and gently stroked it with his fingers. It felt soft to the touch, unlike the clothes he was wearing- or even the many dresses he’d been forced to wear as a child. Luke tried to convince himself that even if he did slip the garment on, all it would mean would be that he not a girl, but rather just a boy wearing a dress- no different than when Kieran had worn Lucy’s clothes back to university two months earlier. However, to Luke, that wasn’t the point. He needed to be seen for who he was, not who his parents- or even the rest of the world- expected him to be. Putting on the dress or the shoes would be like admitting defeat, like admitting that he really was just pretending to be a boy all along. And that was a price Luke wasn’t willing to pay.

With a pained sigh, Luke returned to his bed, but his attempts to distract himself were thwarted when his family returned less than twenty minutes later and he heard a pair of gentle footsteps head up the stairs to his room. When his bedroom door opened, however, it wasn’t his sister who was stood in the doorway, but his mother.

“Hi,” Sarah said softly. “Can I- can I come in?”

“…Sure,” Luke mumbled, sitting up on his bed and allowing his mother to sit next to him. “I- I’m sorry…”

“No- no, it’s okay,” Sarah sighed, giving her child a gentle hug. “I’M the one who should be sorry. Of course you shouldn’t have to wear a dress if you don’t want to, I mean, you ARE an adult and you should make that choice for yourself.”

“Th- thanks,” Luke mumbled.

“I just- I suppose I overreacted a bit as it IS an expensive dress,” Sarah said. “But you- you really don’t like it, do you?” Luke’s cheeks flushed as he shook his head. “That’s okay. We’ve still got the receipt and the tags are still on it, so we’ll return it tomorrow and give you the cash. The shoes, too.”

“Thanks,” Luke whispered. “And I- I do appreciate the gesture, I just- umm, I- I just don’t like wearing dresses.”

“Aye,” Sarah whispered, a contemplative look briefly spreading across her face before she continued. “And I- that is, your father and I, we- we have noticed that about you lately. Well, that, and, well- things like you not liking dresses or make-up, the fact that you cut your hair short, the way you reacted when I suggested we went to a salon, we- umm, Lucy, is- is there something you- something you want to tell us?” Luke felt his heart pound as his mother looked at him expectantly. He wanted to scream, yell to his mother that yes, there was something he wanted to tell him, but a glance at the figure of his sister stood in his bedroom door reminded him that the choice wasn’t his alone to make.

“Umm, I just-“ Luke stammered, his heart starting to race.

Not only was his mother not angry about the dress, but she was seemingly encouraging him to tell the truth about himself, with the implication that he’d be accepted no matter what he said. To Luke, it was like a Christmas miracle, but as desperate as he was to finally come out to his parents, the terrified look in his sister’s eyes brought him back to reality. Luke and Lucy had repeatedly said that whatever they did, they did together- always. If Luke came out, he knew he would be putting his sister in an impossible position, and he would never do that to her. No matter how much stress it caused him to keep his true self a secret…

“I, umm…” Luke mumbled. “I’m just- I’ve just got my own, like, style, that’s all.”

“Well- okay, if you’re sure,” Sarah said softly.

“I am,” Luke nodded, biting his lip as he knowingly lied to his mother.

“Okay,” Sarah whispered, making her son fidget as he knew instinctively that she knew he was keeping something from her. “I’m about to make some supper, then we’re going to watch Strictly and Michael McIntyre. Are you feeling up to that?”

“Umm…” Luke said, briefly glancing into his twin’s eyes. “Can you give us a couple of minutes, please?”

“Take all the time you need,” Sarah said softly, giving her child a gentle hug before leaving the room. Seconds later, Lucy took her mother’s place next to Luke on the bed and gave her brother a long, tight hug.

“Hey,” Lucy whispered, smiling sympathetically as Luke tried not to cry.

“H- hey,” Luke sighed. “Ugh… Merry fucking Christmas, eh?”

“Yep, you said it,” Lucy sighed. “Kinda envy you not having to deal with grandma and grandpa, heh.”

“Ugh, sorry you had to go through that alone…” Luke groaned. “Were- were they bad?”

“No worse than usual,” Lucy shrugged. “Usual stuff, like, asking when I’m gonna get a haircut, have I got a girlfriend yet, etc. etc. I- ugh. There’s no ‘good’ way of saying this, but he- I mean, like, grandpa, he- he didn’t even seem to notice that you weren’t there.”

“What a surprise,” Luke sighed as his sister fidgeted awkwardly.

“Luke,” Lucy whispered. “If you- if I, I mean, if I- if you hadn’t seen me in the door, if it’d just been you and mum, would you- would you have, like, come out to her?”

“…Maybe?” Luke replied, frowning as he suddenly felt smaller than ever. “Probably, I- I dunno. I mean, it was like she was actually asking me to tell her the truth, but- ugh. Whatever we do, we do together, right?”

“Aye,” Lucy whispered, giving her twin’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Always.”

“When you’re ready, I’ll be ready,” Luke said softly. “But, like, I can take this as a kind of ‘win’, you know? I don’t have to wear that dress or those shoes and I’m gonna get the money for them, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a smile, though both she and Luke knew that a real win would’ve been if she’d been able to wear the dress instead of Luke…

The twins spent the rest of Christmas Day trying to relax, watching TV with their parents and chatting with their friends online. Luke kept the details of the dress from his friends, considering the matter resolved and wanting to put it behind him, but both twins did express an almost desperate desire to be reunited with their friends at university- not least because they both knew they’d have ‘real’ presents waiting for them when they returned.

The next few days seemed to crawl by for the twins. They tried their best to distract themselves with coursework and Christmas television, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t escape the fact that while they remained in their parents’ home, Lucy would be forced to present as ‘Luke’ and vice versa. As the days passed, the ‘ray of hope’ Luke received on Christmas Day seemed more and more like a thing of the past, the young man wondering whether or not such an opportunity would ever present itself again, and if it did, whether he’d be ready to take it up- and, moreover, whether or not his sister would also be ready.

Eventually, though, 2019 came to an end, and the start of 2020 brought with it a return to university, where both twins felt safe and free to be themselves once more. On their first evening back in their rooms, Luke and Lucy exchanged the presents they’d bought for each other but weren’t able to exchange in front of their parents- but which meant more to them than any of their other gifts. Luke eagerly unwrapped a Lynx Africa gift set and replacement studs for his football boots. Lucy, meanwhile, had a smile on her face as she unwrapped a new lipstick set, a soft denim pencil skirt and fancy hair accessories. What made Lucy smile the widest, though, was that while she was unwrapping her presents, she was already wearing a short denim skirt, had accessories in her hair and was also wearing lipstick. The twins unwrapped Susie and Gavin’s presents afterwards, and while they were smaller, almost trivial gifts, both twins treasured them as they were intended for the people they were, not the people they had been- or had to pretend to be for their parents' benefit.

A short while later, the twins’ friends began returning from across the country, and it wasn’t long before the group of seven teenagers were sat in their usual spots in the Student Union bar, regaling each other with stories of their Christmases. However, while it was the twins’ story that gripped the group the most, Luke and Lucy were more focussed on the future, rather than the past.

----------

“Well, no arguments there,” Kieran said with a sympathetic smile. “God knows I’m happy to finally be back too."

“Was your Christmas as stressful as ours, then?” Luke asked.

“I…doubt it, somehow,” Kieran chuckled. “I’m just happy to finally be back among friends, heh.”

“And you can never have too many friends!” Gavin toasted, laughing as the group all clinked their glasses together.

“So true,” Lucy sighed happily as she straightened her brand-new denim skirt. “And at least now we have ages to wait until the next time we see our parents.”

“And, like, we know we will have to deal with the same situation again,” Luke said. “But not for months, and that- well, it’ll give us a chance to, like, regroup, sort of thing.”

“Well, if you need any help from us, you only have to ask,” Priya said with a warm smile.

“Ditto,” Susie said, the twins blushing as everyone sat at the table nodded in agreement.

“Though I reckon I’ll be less, like, ‘experienced’ than Priya when it comes to, well, this sort of thing,” Claudia said quietly. “Because of, you know, your two friends in London who are trans?”

“Well- kinda yes and no,” Priya said. “I mean, I know- mostly- what things I should and shouldn’t say, but that’s just more common sense than anything else. Laura and Ashley are both, like, really different people, so- heh. The best way to describe it is ‘everyone’s journey is a different one’- if you two agree?” The Indian girl smiled nervously as the twins both nodded in agreement.

“Can’t argue with that,” Lucy shrugged.

“Even when it comes to the two of us,” Luke said, biting his lip as he remembered the opportunity he’d had on Christmas Day- and the reason he’d passed it up. “And, like, not just ‘cause we’re ‘going the opposite way’.” Luke grimaced as he exchanged an awkward glance with his sister.

“Anyways,” Lucy said. “What’s everyone got planned for tonight?”

“Literally nothing,” Gavin replied. “Dunno if the LGBT society has planned anything, I’ve not seen anything on Facebook or WhatsApp.”

“Netflix night in our room, then?” Luke asked, smiling as his friends all nodded in agreement.

Later that night, as the seven teenagers crammed into the small room, the twins mused on how they’d come through their latest challenge unscathed, but seemingly only by the skin of their teeth. Luke thought about how close he’d been to finally being able to live as his true self- though the more he thought about it, the more he realised that just because his mother was asking ‘the question’, it didn’t mean she’d like the answer if he’d said it to her. And the more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt as he realised that despite Lucy becoming increasingly feminine even when presenting as 'Luke', neither of their parents saw in her what they thought they saw in him- something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Lucy either.

Even though she was dressed the way she wanted, Lucy still struggled to get comfortable as she and her friends watched their movie together. She knew deep down that while their parents might be willing to hear the truth about her brother, the same could not be said about her. No matter how feminine she presented, her father and especially her grandfather would never accept the truth. And while Lucy didn’t begrudge the 'opportunity' her brother had had on Christmas day, she didn't want to ‘hold him back’ either. Lucy couldn’t help but feel that their promise to each other to always do things together was going to be more difficult than ever to keep…

“So then,” Susie asked Luke and Lucy as they and their friends sat around their usual table in the Student Union bar. “Looking forward to Sunday?”

“Ooh, yes, I’d almost forgotten about that!” Priya giggles as the twins’ blushes deepened.

“…Maybe a bit,” Lucy mumbled.

“Maybe even less than that,” Luke sighed. “Tough to get excited about your birthday when you know your presents are gonna suck.”

“Sorry if we’re putting a dampener on YOUR birthday, Gav,” Lucy said to the young man who was exactly one day young than her and her brother.

“No, I know you two have to put up with a lot of shit,” Gavin replied with a sympathetic smile. “So yes, I don’t mind sharing my party with you, hehe!”

“Might be our last chance for a while…” Kieran said, giggling and grimacing as he was showered with jeers from the other occupants of the table.

“Just for that, YOU can get the next round!” Lucy ordered, smirking as the young man slunk off to the bar.

“Heh… he’s not wrong, though,” Claudia said quietly, before grimacing as the jeers turned toward her. “And yes, I’ll get the round after Kieran. But, you know, everyone’s so terrified of this virus, even my mum’s said I should stay in Durham at the weekend and only go home during the holidays, you know?”

“Reckon we can persuade mam and dad to do the same?” Luke asked Lucy, who giggled into her drink.

“Worth a try I suppose,” Lucy said, before sighing. “But at least we’ll be back here on Monday, no matter what happens.”

“Though not wearing the summer dress mam will inevitably have bought me,” Luke snorted.

“I thought you said things have been going better there?” Kieran asked. “Since what happened at Christmas, I mean?”

“Well- yes and no,” Luke replied as he thought back to the months since Christmas.

Even though his mother had been happy to return the dress and shoes she gave him for Christmas (and he was more than grateful for the money), Luke still felt uneasy for the remainder of his Christmas holiday, as though he’d crossed a line with his parents that there’d be no going back from. Right up until the twins has returned to university at the start of January, their parents had handled Luke with a lot more caution than they had before- but both twins were quick to notice that the same could not be said for Lucy. As far as Paul and Sarah were concerned, Lucy was still the same tall, handsome boy they’d imagined she was throughout her childhood, happy to talk about football and girls and be 'one of the lads'. However, Luke was no longer treated as 'one of the girls' by his mother, and while Luke was glad to have that weight off his shoulder, his family’s uneasiness around him quickly replaced that source of stress with another, different one.

Every time Luke spoke with his parents after the new year, he had one simple thought in his mind: ‘they know’. Luke could tell during every phone call that they his parents were being careful with the pronouns they used, with their choice of words and even the way in which they said them. And while Luke felt that the behaviour should make him more confident about coming out, in actuality it had the opposite effect- that if he ‘confirmed their fears’ he’d be condemning himself to being disowned, and worse yet, might also be condemning Lucy to the same fate. Luke knew that while Lucy was as committed to her feminine lifestyle as he was to his masculine lifestyle, she would almost certainly have more to lose by coming out. It was ‘acceptable’ for a girl to wear the jeans, hoodie and brown boots that Luke was wearing- it was not ‘acceptable’ for a boy to wear the black leggings, short denim skirt and ballerina flats that Lucy was wearing, to say nothing of her make-up or hair accessories.

Meanwhile, Lucy had also noticed the change in her parents’ attitude toward her brother. While she felt excited for him, she also felt guilty about being worried for herself. In the six months since she’d started university, she’d come to embrace her new feminine lifestyle more and more. She’d quickly become close friends with both Priya and Claudia- almost as close as she was with Susie, while she enjoyed her dance class more and more with every passing lesson. Most of all, though, she loved the acceptance she received not just from her friends, but from her professors and the vast majority of her fellow students. While there were still those who greeted her with childish giggles wherever she went, for the most part Lucy could go about her business at the university without being harassed or bullied simply for being who she was. She’d even caught the attention of a few of the young men at the university, though she chose not to pursue any of this ‘interest’, as she reasoned that she would have enough ‘difficult questions’ from her parents without further complicating matters. Lucy didn’t envisage herself coming out to her parents any time soon, even though that was, according to their counsellor, the twins’ final hurdle standing between them and their ultimate goal of receiving the hormone treatments that both were eager to start.

Beginning the process of medically transitioning had been the twins’ ambition for several months, but they knew the process would not be quick even once they’d begun their treatments. However, regardless of how eager they were and how long they had successfully lived independently in their new genders, the final ‘hurdle’ remained in front of them, and to the twins it seemed insurmountable- even more so than their studies (in which the twins were both averaging a 2:1 grade) or the threat being posed by COVID-19. All the twins knew was that when they did start HRT, they would do so the way they had always done everything in their lives- together.

“Well, either way, we’ve still got Saturday night to look forward to!” Priya cheered, earning cheers from her friends that loudened as Kieran returned with their drinks.

“Is anyone else coming on Saturday?” Claudia asked. “Or is it just us ‘magnificent seven’?”

“I’ve got a training session tomorrow afternoon so I can ask if any of the footy team are interested,” Luke said.

“Anyone other than Barnes, at least,” Gavin snorted to the general agreement of the table.

“What is that guy’s problem, anyway?” Susie asked.

“Ugh, I dunno,” Luke spat. “Unless you’re white, straight and cis, you’re something to be laughed at, according to him. He’s like every school changing room ever, all rolled into one.”

“Don’t forget ‘able-bodied’,” Gavin snorted. “I’ve heard he was talking shit about the Paralympics a while back, like how it’s not a ‘real’ sporting competition.”

“Why does the uni even put up with him?” Priya asked.

“Because he’s scored 38 goals in 21 games,” Luke sighed. “A lot of people reckon he’s good enough to go pro, but just can’t get into a club’s academy.”

“Can’t imagine why, maybe they interviewed him?” Susie joked, earning giggles from the table.

“Anyway, let’s not talk about morons like him,” Gavin said. “Any other cool people we can drag along to my- sorry, OUR party on Saturday?”

“All the other cool people I know live in London,” Priya sighed. “And I’ve heard a couple of them are feeling under the weather too, so- yeah. Travelling from London to Durham and back is probably the most idiotic thing you can do under the circumstances.”

“And the next round after me is on Priya!” Claudia teased, earning an eye roll followed by a giggle from the Indian girl.

“Ahh- fair enough,” Priya giggled as the drinks continued to flow.

Later that evening, the twins, accompanied by Susie, returned to Lucy’s room, where they tried to distract themselves with reading for the following days lecture- however the upcoming weekend quickly ended up proving to be a greater distraction.

“Having difficulty concentrating?” Susie asked Lucy as they flicked through their textbooks.

“What makes you think that?” The tall trans girl replied.

“Well for one thing, you haven’t turned a page in over fifteen minutes,” the ginger-haired girl replied, earning a sigh from her friend.

“…Okay, maybe a little,” Lucy said with a tired moan. “Dunno if it’s the alcohol or, like, Sunday, but my mind’s all over the place tonight.”

“Mine too,” Luke sighed.

“Do you- do you two want to get to bed?” Susie asked. “Maybe some sleep will help, we WERE in the bar for a while…”

“Nah, I’ve not been sleeping much lately anyway,” Luke replied with a yawn. “And ig- ignore THAT. I’ll probably be yawning all evening. And all day tomorrow, heh.”

“As long as you don’t yawn through Gav’s party!” Susie chuckled, barely suppressing a yawn of her own.

“OUR party,” Luke reminded his friend. “Though we’ll probably need another one after Sunday, heh.”

“Well- assuming the worst-case scenario, anyway,” Lucy said, grimacing as her brother frowned.

“Care to explain what the BEST-case scenario would be?” Luke asked.

“That we come out and get accepted by our parents, maybe?” Lucy replied.

“Wh- really?” Luke snorted. “You think that’s actually likely to happen?”

“You asked for the best-case scenario,” Lucy said with a shrug.

“I meant ‘realistic’ best case scenario,” Luke retorted. “And yes, I know, I know, we have to come out before we can get hormones. I just- ugh.”

“You don’t think you’re ready yet?” Lucy whispered, smiling sympathetically and giving her brother a gentle hug as he simply nodded and moaned with pain.

“Dunno that I’ll ever be,” Luke moaned. “But I know, I- I just can’t go back to being, well…”

“To being ‘me’?” Lucy asked, smiling as her brother chuckled.

“Just like you can’t go back to being ‘me’,” Luke said. “Ugh, I- I dunno. I just feel sometimes like I’m living in some kind of fantasy world and it’s gonna come crashing down at any second, you know?”

“Better than anyone,” Lucy sighed.

“Well, lucky then that you’ve got friends to remind you that this IS reality,” Susie said warmly. “And on Monday we’ll be right back here as normal. THIS normal.”

“’This normal’ being ‘talking about coming out and not actually coming out’,” Luke sighed. “And ‘not being on hormones’, and ‘constantly being paranoid about our parents finding out’.”

“Well, if you wanna be pessimistic about it, sure,” Susie shrugged.

“I- ugh,” Luke spat. “You- you’re right, Susie, I’m sorry. Guess I’m just more tense than usual, heh.”

“We both are,” Lucy sighed. “Another thing we always do together, heh.”

“Just wish it wasn’t always,” Luke sighed as he picked up his textbook and tried in vain to concentrate on his work.

The following morning, the twins woke up at their usual time and followed their usual morning routine, both of them tired at the end of the week and due to their anxiety costing them hours of sleep- something that didn’t go unnoticed when they rendezvoused with their friend before their first lecture.

“Hey,” Susie said softly. “You guys sleep okay?”

“As well as we normally do,” Lucy replied with a barely suppressed yawn. “Happy we’ve got no classes this afternoon, heh.”

“I’m only gonna be running around a football pitch for an hour and a half instead,” Luke chuckled. “Though training rather than a match, so- yeah, heh.”

“Whereas I’ll be squirming around a dance studio for an hour, heh,” Lucy said, blushing as her brother and her friend giggled. “What? It’s good exercise, you know.”

“I’ll stick to the gym if you don’t mind,” Susie chuckled as she led her friends into the lecture hall, both twins grateful for the distraction both of the lecture and their friend's teasing.

Forty-five minutes later, after carefully packing away several pages of notes, the twins accompanied the rest of the class to the department’s computer lab, where the class was tasked with modelling the complex chemical structures they’d learned about in the lecture. As had become the norm, the class were split into pairs, however following the first week, Luke & Lucy's tutor had 'encouraged' them to work with some of the other students. While Luke paired up with Susie (as Lucy and Susie had worked together during the previous seminar), Lucy scanned the room for any free seats, smiling when she happened upon a free seat next to someone she'd worked with before- and with whom she'd enjoyed working.

“Hey Phoebe,” Lucy said as she approached the tall blonde girl. “Is- is this seat free?”

“Sure,” Phoebe replied in her soft Seattle accent. “Still not allowed to work with your brother, then?”

“Aye,” Lucy replied with a dramatic sigh that made the American girl laugh. “But I don’t mind, I mean, I came to university to make new friends, heh.”

“Same here,” Phoebe said quietly. “Whatever side of the ocean they live on, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said, before grinning. “Hey Phoebe, are you- are you doing anything this weekend?”

“…Well, it’s not like I can just get the train home,” the American girl chuckled, before smiling sadly. “Chances are I won’t be going home anytime soon at all if this virus keeps going the way it is.”

“Yeah,” Lucy sighed sadly, before biting her lip nervously. Even though she knew Phoebe, there was a large gap between knowing a person and considering them a friend- and Lucy was sincere in her desire to make new friends. Lucy hoped that Phoebe was, too, and even though they’d never hung out outside of class, Lucy felt optimistic. She just hoped that Phoebe wouldn’t have a problem with having a transgender friend- a feeling of paranoia that had prevented Lucy from seeking out new friends in the past. “But, you know, before then, umm… it- it’s actually my birthday on Sunday. Well, mine AND Luke’s, heh.”

“Oh, happy birthday for then, then!” Phoebe giggled. “Nineteen?”

“Yep,” Lucy replied. “Well, um, mine and Luke’s birthday is on Sunday, but a friend of ours’ birthday is on Saturday, so we’re having, like, a triple party tomorrow night, and, well, if you want to come along, maybe…?” Lucy bit her lip as she saw the American girl’s eyes widen and an anxious look spread across her face. So much for making new friends, Lucy thought to herself.

“Well, umm, I-“ Phoebe stammered. “I, umm, think you- think you should know, like, I- I’m not, like, interested in- in girls, I mean, as I know you identify as a girl, but-“

“Oh- oh shit, no,” Lucy exclaimed, blushing with embarrassment as she inadvertently drew the attention of several of their classmates. “I- I’m not, like, asking you ‘out’ out, I’m just- like, as a friend, I- ugh. Shall we start again?”

“Probably not a bad idea?” Phoebe replied, her own cheeks turning a deep red.

“Okay,” Lucy whispered. “Phoebe, would you like to come to my birthday party tomorrow?”

“Yes please,” the American girl hastily replied, before sharing a giggle with her new friend. “Ahh… I am SO sorry, like, I dunno what I was thinking when you- yeah.”

“Yeah…” Lucy chuckled. “Maybe let- let’s just put that to one side, heh.”

“I don’t even know if you, like, ‘like’ girls…” Phoebe mumbled.

“In fairness, I don’t know that about you, either,” Lucy retorted. “Don’t even know if so-called ‘gaydar’ applies to trans people, but- yeah. I don’t even know that about myself for certain. I look at you and all I think is ‘I really wish I had your- well, figure, heh’.”

“What, really?” Phoebe asked. “’Cause, like, you have to be at least two dress sizes smaller than me even though you’re taller. I was SO depressed when I came over here and found that what’s a size 12 in America is, like, a 16 over here. Or a 12, 14 or 18 depending on which shop you’re on, like, can you PLEASE tell your shops to, like, be consistent?”

“Heh, I wish,” Lucy laughed. “And for the record, this skirt’s a 14 but my top- that I’m wearing underneath my hoodie, my t-shirt, like, that’s a 16 too, so- yeah. No disguising my shoulders with make-up, heh.”

“You do a good job,” Phoebe said. “Like, of make-up, and- well, presenting as a girl, I mean.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered.

“Oh- oh god,” Phoebe moaned. “I- I didn’t say something I shouldn’t have done, did I?”

“S- sorry?” Lucy asked.

“’Cause, you know, we’ve not spoken much,” Phoebe babbled. “I’m never sure what I should or shouldn’t be saying, like if there are any topics I really shouldn’t talk about to a trans person, or-“

“Honestly, I took it as a compliment,” Lucy chuckled. “I’m assuming it was meant as one?”

“Well, of course,” Phoebe replied, her cheeks reddening again.

“Then there’s no problem, really,” Lucy said, before sighing. “And it’s not like I’ve not put my foot in it a few times too, heh. One of, like, our ‘group’ is Indian- well, British, actually, she was born here, but you know, ethnically Indian?”

“Oh, is that the girl with the scholarship?” Phoebe asked. “I think she’s studying economics or something like that?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” Lucy said. “The amount of times I put my foot in it, but she was okay with it…”

“Well, we learn from our mistakes, I guess,” Phoebe chuckled. “Kinda in the wrong place if we’re not able to do that, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy said, earning a warm smile from her new friend.

“So, umm…” Phoebe said. “Are you- are you doing anything after class? And I’m asking as a friend, not as, like, anything else, heh.”

“Got my street dance class after,” Lucy replied with a sympathetic smile. “Though if you’re not doing anything…?”

“Ah- no, I REALLY don’t think so,” Phoebe chuckled. “My parents signed me up for ballet class when I was 8, and- yeah. THAT didn’t last long, heh!”

“That’s more dance experience than I ever had growing up,” Lucy snorted. “My- well, Luke took ballet for a few years. As you might imagine, not his fondest memory.”

“I bet,” Phoebe whispered. “Well… I can watch, I suppose.”

“I’d like that,” Lucy said with a smile, happy that she’d made another friend- and more importantly, another friend who'd unquestioningly accepted her for who she was.

After the class was over, the students dispersed, with some heading to the cafeteria while others headed back to their rooms to relax. This latter group included Lucy, who smiled as she pulled on the leggings and trainers that made up her street dance 'uniform', but she let out a sigh as she pulled on her crop top. In her day-to-day life, Lucy routinely wore a top that gave her chest additional 'shaping' for many reasons, most of them personal. While it was mainly to maintain an outward 'projection', another major reason was that it gave Lucy confidence- confidence to be the person she truly wanted to be, to project the image of the teenage girl she truly felt she was deep down inside. The more people focussed on her, the less likely they were to notice her height, or her broad shoulders, or her masculine jawline and her many other masculine features. However, Lucy quickly learned that the ‘padding’ was impractical for dancing, when she was in constant movement- as were the ‘pads’ themselves. Reluctantly, at her instructor’s advice, Lucy had agreed to attend the lessons flat chested, which had ultimately made Lucy start to dread the lessons that she’d enjoyed so much to begin with.

Nonetheless, she still had a wide grin on her face as she rendezvoused with her friends outside of the girls’ locker room, though even this served as another reminder to Lucy of how she was 'different' to the other girls. Lucy tried to draw comfort from the fact that the university’s covid rules meant that none of the other girls had changed in the locker room either, but it did little to distract her from her anxiety- or the fact that she was the tallest of her group of friends by a clear nine inches.

“Hey Lucy!” Priya said with a grin. “Did you have a good morning?”

“Had a busy one, heh,” Lucy replied. “Lecture went on for AGES, then we had to model loads of stuff on the computer, which also took ages, so- only just got out of there, heh.”

“We’ve been doing reading all morning,” Claudia said with a tired smile of her own. “Historic economic trends, that sort of thing.”

“It’s pretty interesting in small doses,” Priya mused. “After a while, though, your brain just sort-of starts to ‘slide off’ the words and they stop sinking in, heh.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Lucy chuckled. “I mean, I got a 7 for my maths GCSE so I’m not, like, useless at it, but- yeah. What you’re describing is a bit too ‘theoretical’ for my liking!”

“The module on cryptocurrency looks like it’ll be ten times worse, though,” Claudia sighed. “But oh well. At least NOW we can just relax and enjoy the weekend, heh!”

“And not just a weekend, but a party weekend!” Priya giggled, her laugh intensifying as Lucy squeaked excitedly.

“Yep!” Lucy giggled, forcing herself to focus on the party itself rather than the confrontation with her parents that she knew would inevitably occur the following day. “I invited another person along from my course by the way, I’m assuming that’ll be okay?”

“Well, it’s Gav’s party, so he’s the best person to ask!” Priya chuckled. “Though I don’t see why it’d be a problem. You can never have too many friends, right?”

“Too right,” Lucy said, giggling excitedly as she followed her friends into the dance studio. Despite her stress, Lucy was determined to focus on the positives in her life- and Priya and Claudia were two of the biggest. Secretly, she hoped that Phoebe would be too...

While his sister was getting ready for her dance class, Luke was alone in his room getting changed into his football kit, but still feeling many of the same emotions as Lucy. Where Lucy padded her chest, Luke bound his down, but for the same reason- to project the image that he was indeed a man. Where Lucy had allowed her hair to grow, Luke had kept his short. Where Lucy had been meticulous about removing body hair, Luke had allowed his to grow untamed. And where Lucy had kept her distance from the girls’ locker room (even before covid), so had Luke from the boys’ changing rooms- but for a different reason. Despite encouragement from Luke and their female friends, Lucy had chosen not to change in the girls’ locker room for fear that it would make the other users of the room uncomfortable. Luke, however, was wary of using the boys’ changing rooms for fear that it would make HIM uncomfortable.

While he enjoyed playing football and got along with many of the other members of the team, there were also those who continued to mock him both on the pitch and off. Luke had to face regular ‘teasing’ such as teammates blaming a poor performance on it being ‘the wrong time of the month’, and while Luke tried to not let it get to him, or tried pass it off as harmless banter, each insult stung him more and more until all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry- which he knew was the worst possible thing he could do under the circumstances.

Like Lucy, Luke tried to focus on the positives in his life, especially his social life, but this proved to be difficult even when greeted by a friendly face at the exit of the changing rooms.

“Hi Luke!” The smiling face of James Thorn, captain of the university team’s A team, said as he led the other players out onto the training pitch. “You alright?”

“Not bad, thanks,” Luke semi-lied in reply. “You?”

“Can’t complain,” James replied. “I’m heading home straight after this, actually. Figured I’d go and see my parents while Boris still lets us, heh.”

“Oh- okay,” Luke said, trying to hide his disappointment that he wouldn’t be able to invite his friend to the party. However, the tall young man quickly sensed the change in Luke’s mood.

“You okay?” James asked.

“Hmm?” Luke replied. “Umm, yeah, I just- heh. I’m going to see my parents on Sunday as well, and- yeah.”

“Ah,” James said, having long since been made aware of the twins' history with their parents. “Not something you can get out of, then?”

“Nope,” Luke sighed as he and the team began warming up. “Especially as it’s our birthday as well.”

“Ah, happy birthday for Sunday then!” James chuckled. “Got any plans? Like, non-parent plans, anyway?”

“It’s Gav’s birthday tomorrow as well, so we’re kinda having, like, a joint party,” Luke replied. “Would’ve invited you if you were around.”

“Ah, okay,” James said. “Well, maybe next time, heh!”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled with a grimace. If there IS a next time, Luke thought to himself. If I still am ‘Luke’ 365 days from now- or even 3 days from now…

2 hours later, Luke and Lucy, both tired and sweaty from their exercise, congregated outside the student union bar with their friends, all of whom were relaxed- but excited- ahead of the weekend.

“That was a LONG week,” Priya said with a sigh as she relaxed back into her patio seat and stretched out her tired legs.

“Not as long as the weekend’s gonna be,” Luke said, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “I- I’m sorry, I just- ugh. Always stressed when we go back home, and there’s no escaping this one, heh.”

“I wish there was more I could for you guys than simply keeping my fingers crossed,” Claudia said quietly. “I mean, I was just scared enough coming all the way to uni, but you- all of you- have made it so that I’m not scared anymore, if that makes any sense.”

“Perfect sense,” Lucy said softly. “And it’s not like you haven’t done the same for both of us, heh!”

“That’s for certain,” Luke said. “I’m gonna be so glad to come back on Monday, heh.”

“Your parents aren’t THAT bad,” Susie reminded her friend. “I have met them, remember?”

“Well- true,” Luke conceded.

“And if they have learned from what happened with the dress at Christmas time…” Susie mused.

“Also true,” Lucy said. “But, like, that’s still two days away. What’s everyone’s plans for tonight?”

“Sitting here and trying not to melt,” Priya replied.

“Pretty much that,” Claudia chuckled. “Might call my boyfriend later, seeing as I won’t see him this weekend, heh.”

“Ah- sorry ‘bout that,” Lucy mumbled.

“Nah, I don’t mind, honestly,” Claudia said. “If he didn’t have to work- in Coventry, like- I’d probably have invited him up here, heh.”

“It’d be pretty cool to finally meet him,” Priya mused. “You do tend to talk about him a lot…”

“Oh- no I don’t,” Claudia mumbled. “Maybe a bit, you know? I figure that the more I talk about him- heh. We REALLY didn’t want to go down the long-distance relationship route, but I didn’t get into Warwick, and there was no way I was going to turn down Durham, so- yeah, heh.”

“Well, he’d better go to sleep every night thinking about what he’s missing!” Susie said, smirking as the blonde girl blushed.

“Oh, he does, I make sure of it, heh!” Claudia giggled.

“How about you, Priya?” Lucy asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention a guy- or, like a girl, or- heh. I’ll be blunt: do you have anyone waiting for you back down in London?”

“Well- not unless you count my sister, heh,” Priya chuckled. “I’ve had boyfriends, but- yeah. This is a bit TOO long distance for me. But I’m okay, like, I- I’m here to learn and to have fun. BOYS can wait. No offence, Luke.”

“None taken, I think,” Luke chuckled.

“We actually have, like, a forfeit,” Priya said. “Me, my sister and our friends. Anyone who brings up boys in a conversation- like, unprovoked- has to send a selfie to the group of them with a pair of tights on their head.”

“That’ll be kinda difficult for our group,” Susie said. “What with there being three boys as part of the group. And the fact that I literally have zero pairs of tights with me here at the uni, heh!”

“I’ll let you borrow some of mine,” Claudia teased, giggling as the ginger-haired girl gave her a playful shove.

“While we’re speaking of boys, though,” Lucy said, “where are Kieran and Gav?”

“They were at football practice as normal,” Luke replied with a shrug. “Probably just, I dunno, showering or something.”

“Even though they were only watching and not playing?” Priya asked. “Though saying that, I could definitely use a shower… and a nap…”

“I won’t take that personally!” Susie retorted, making the Indian girl blush.

“Sorry, sorry,” Priya chuckled. “And to answer your next question, no, I don’t have a fever or a cough, and yes, I’ll buy the next round of drinks after Claudia, heh.”

“Good,” Luke snorted. “Heh, almost wish we WERE in lockdown, then we wouldn’t have to worry about Sunday.”

“Don’t tempt fate like that!” Susie chastised her friend. “We’ll be fine, this whole coronavirus thing will be over in a month, tops.”

“Is that your professional opinion as a biochemist?” Priya teased the ginger-haired girl, who rolled her eyes in response.

“Only if you tell me, as a professional economist, how to become a millionaire,” Susie retorted, earning giggles from all of her friends at the table. “Ah… I dunno, though. I mean, they've already suspended the premier league, and the grand prix was cancelled last weekend, though that was in Australia, so- yeah...”

“Well, as long as tomorrow’s party isn’t cancelled, heh,” Claudia chuckled. “Think we’ve all earned a party after this week!”

“Definitely after the last six months,” Luke said, exchanging a knowing glance with his sister. Before anyone could say anything further, though, the table was interrupted by a text message alert from Luke's phone.

“Who’s that?” Lucy asked, nervous that the message might have been from one of their parents.

“Kieran,” Luke replied. “Gav’s not feeling well so he won’t be down tonight, and it doesn’t look like he’ll be at his party tomorrow as his mum’s coming to pick him up.”

“Is it- you know…?” Claudia asked hesitantly.

“It’s more likely to be his existing, well, ‘thing’ flaring up,” Luke sighed. “Kieran didn’t say anything about a cough.”

“Poor guy, though,” Lucy said with a soft sigh. “He must be gutted about missing tomorrow night. First, like ‘proper’ student birthday party and all that…”

“Well, there’s no point in having the party now, is there?” Luke mumbled.

“Uh- yes, yes there is,” Priya retorted, pointing at the twins. “Two good reasons for having the party, and I’m sure Gav would agree.”

“Well- I guess,” Lucy shrugged. “Assuming dad doesn’t come to Durham a day early again or whatever.”

“Ugh, don’t even joke about that!” Luke moaned. “Ugh, I dunno, I just- I want to get the weekend over and done with, you know? I’d rather have the party afterwards, heh, that way I can actually, you know, enjoy it, rather than- well, you know.”

“Rather than be stressed out all night?” Lucy asked, smiling as her brother nodded. “I know exactly what you mean. And, well, this just means one thing, doesn’t it?”

“And what’s that?” Luke asked.

“We’ll have to party even harder tomorrow night!” Lucy cheered, earning grins from her friends and a tired, nervous smile from her brother as the drinks continued to flow.

The five teenagers remained at the bar until late that evening, before heading back to their dorms and almost immediately falling asleep. None of them were early to wake up the following morning, but all eventually dragged their tired, hung-over bodies out of their beds and convened for a late breakfast in the cafeteria. However, despite the alcohol they'd consumed the previous evening, neither of the twins slept much, such was their anxiety about the impending weekend.

“Morning, you two,” Susie said as Luke and Lucy approached where she was sat along with Priya and Claudia. “Sleep well?”

“Ugh, eventually,” Lucy sighed, taking a long sip of her coffee. “Heard anything from Gav this morning?”

“He’s posted on Facebook,” Susie replied. “He’s on the mend, but really disappointed at having to spend his birthday shut indoors, not seeing any of his friends.”

“We were thinking of sending him, like, a video message later on,” Priya said. “When we’re all a bit more ‘awake’, heh.”

“I was about to say,” Luke said in a teasing voice. “That’s a very, well, ‘petite’ body for the amount of sambucas you were drinking last night!”

“Especially as you’d been exercising immediately beforehand!” Lucy teased her friend.

“…So I felt like, you know, cutting loose a bit,” Priya mumbled, before sighing and giggling. “Won’t be doing that again for a while, though!"

“Me either,” Claudia said with a sigh, before smiling as the sixth member of their ‘gang’ approached.

“Hey guy and gals!” Kieran said in his soft Manchester accent. “Sorry I was absent last night, I just- I just thought Gav should have someone stay with him until his parents got here.”

“You’re a good friend,” Lucy whispered, giving Kieran’s hand a gentle squeeze. “And you’ve not missed much- well, not this morning, anyway! We only just got here ourselves.”

“We were talking about sending a video message to Gav,” Priya explained. “Just to wish him a happy birthday, you know.”

“Ah, he’d definitely like that,” Kieran said with a smile. “And to answer your next question, he did mention the party last night, and he is insistent that it goes ahead without him.”

“He does seem like that kind of guy,” Claudia mused. “Always thinking about his friends, that sort of thing.”

“Well, you can never have too many,” Priya said with a knowing smile. “What time’s the fun starting tonight?”

“Seven o’clock, same as always,” Kieran replied. “Was going to be in Gav’s room, I don’t mind you all cramming into mine, heh!”

“We’ll be there,” Lucy said with a smile. “Assuming I can shake this damned hangover, anyway…”

“You’ve got nothing planned for this morning or afternoon, then?” Priya asked.

“Doubt I’d be able to concentrate on anything,” Lucy sighed, before letting out a long moan. “I know, I know, I can’t live my life like this, getting all panicky about the prospect of simply seeing my parents.”

“WE can’t,” Luke said softly. “But there’s nowt we can do about it right now, so- yeah.”

“Apart from try to distract ourselves with coursework and parties, heh,” Lucy said with a grin.

“Which we’re more than happy to help with,” Priya said, mirroring her friend’s smile. “The parties, that is. Got enough coursework of my own to worry about!”

“Same here,” Claudia giggled. “For both things, heh! And as it’s MY birthday in two weeks, I’m expecting a massive party as well, heh!”

“And we’ll finally get to meet this boyfriend of yours!” Priya teased her friend. “And two weeks after that you’ll all hopefully get to meet my sister for her 18th!”

“Assuming she won’t mind a bunch of strangers gatecrashing her party?” Lucy asked.

“Well, she knows the saying having too many friends,” Priya retorted with a smug grin that earned a cheer from the assembled group, even though inside, Luke and Lucy's anxiety levels remained high about the following day.

Logically, both Luke and Lucy knew that in all likelihood, they would return to the university the following Monday and carry on with their lives as normal. However, they also knew that every time they met up with their parents was another occasion on which they could be ‘found out’. Another occasion where their world could come crashing down, where they could find themselves without any parents- or worse yet, without a course to go back to, or any ability to be the people they'd been for the previous six months. Ever since Christmas, Luke and Lucy knew that the odds of successfully keeping their parents in the dark about their true selves was getting lower and lower- however, with no other options open to them, they simply had no alternative but to carry on as they were- regardless of how anxious it made them.

However, the twins also made a point of trying to enjoy their lives as much as possible, and the student parties they regularly attended played a large part in that. After a lazy morning and afternoon of trying to distract themselves with coursework, mobile games and social media, Luke and Lucy felt themselves become energised as afternoon turned into evening and they began to get ready for the party- THEIR party. While it was far from the first party they’d attended since starting university, both Luke and Lucy felt they needed to make an extra effort for what was explicitly THEIR party. Rather than wear the casual clothes they usually wore to student parties, the twins returned to their dorms to change into special outfits they’d picked out for the evening ahead.

Luke smiled nervously as he combed his short hair into a tidier style than his usual scruffy mop. Ever since his sixteenth birthday, Luke had taken steps to keep his hair short- or at the very least, short for a girl. As he looked at his reflection in the mirror, though, Luke couldn’t help but sigh- as short and as masculine as he tried to make his hair, it didn’t disguise the very feminine-looking face underneath it. His thick but androgynous eyebrows didn’t help the 'illusion', nor did the fact that he hadn’t grown a single hair on his soft, smooth cheeks. However, Luke consoled himself with the knowledge that everyone who had been invited to the party would recognise him and accept him as a boy, even if he sometimes struggled to believe it himself. Nonetheless, he smiled as he pulled on his smart shirt, trousers and shiny black shoes, before liberally spraying himself with his men’s Lynx deodorant. However, despite the fact that he looked, sounded and even smelled convincingly masculine, he found himself envying his sister- she at least had the option of 'disguising' herself with make-up, while he had to rely solely on his own bare skin.

As she set about her make-up, Lucy found herself musing on how normal the action had become. She never left her room without at least a layer of foundation and eyeliner, sometimes adding eyeshadow, lipstick and occasionally even false eyelashes. However, as she applied her favourite light red lipstick, the young woman thought about how, in the past, she only ever applied make-up so as to blend in with the other girls, to appear as ‘normal’ as possible. Even at the many student parties she'd attended, she'd never tried to 'stand out', or show off an individual look. At a university where there were often many exotic and even wild make-up styles, Lucy’s look was comparatively plain- but not as plain as if she wore no make-up at all. Without it, there would be nothing to disguise her masculine jawline, or her nose, or the fact that she still had to shave her face every morning…

On this particular evening, though, Lucy very much intended to stand out from the crowd. It was HER party, after all- hers and Luke’s- and for once, blending into the background was not an option. As well as her lipstick, foundation and eyeliner, she liberally coated her eyelids with dark, smokey eyeshadow before teasing her thickest, heaviest false eyelashes to her natural ones. With her make-up complete, Lucy turned to her wardrobe to pick out her outfit for the night. As with her make-up, at previous parties she’d been comparatively casually dressed, often wearing the same clothes she’d worn to her classes or occasionally a fancier skirt or more low-cut top. Most of these fashion decisions were by necessity- unlike most of the other women at the university, when Lucy started her course the only clothes she had were the clothes she was wearing and what few clothes she’d been able to stash at Susie’s house. As she also had no part-time job, acquiring new clothes was not something she could do regularly, but she had gradually assembled a modest, yet stylish wardrobe, and her most recent acquisition was an outfit she was dying to wear.

While Lucy usually wore short or knee-length skirts to classes or in her room, when she saw the jumpsuit in the charity shop window, she knew she had to have it. Its long, flared legs, cinched waist and low V-neck suited her figure perfectly, as did its navy blue colour and wide shoulder straps. After making sure she was securely ‘tucked’, Lucy zipped up her jumpsuit at the back and smiled as she slipped her feet into a pair of black sandals with a blocky 3” heel- another charity shop find Lucy knew she had to have, especially due to how difficult it was to find any heeled shoes to fit her size 10 feet. As Lucy fastened the strappy sandals to her feet, she wondered if they had originally belonged to another transgender woman, or a crossdresser, and what that woman was doing now…

“Hello Miss Miller!” Susie said with a grin as Lucy opened the door and let her into her room. “I had a feeling you’d go with that jumpsuit!”

“How could I not?” Lucy replied with a smile. “It is MY night, after all.”

“Too right it is!” Susie giggled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you looking so, well, confident!”

“And why shouldn’t I be?” Lucy retorted. “Like, this isn’t just a birthday party, it’s a celebration, like, of being ‘Lucy’ for six months. Six months more or less continuously. And while it’s not been completely plain sailing, I’ve not done a bad job of being a girl, have I?”

“Damn right you haven’t,” Susie replied with a warm smile.

“Okay, so maybe I’m not ‘filling out’ the jumpsuit- well, maybe not the right part of it, anyway,” Lucy continued. “But when I start hormones then, well, maybe.”

“Yeah,” Susie whispered, exchanging a glance with her friend as they remembered that Luke and Lucy still had a major obstacle standing between them and the hormone treatments they so badly desired. “Well, anyway, shall we crack open the booze or wait until the birthday BOY gets here?”

“Both,” Luke said with a grin as he let himself into Lucy’s room and greeted his friend and his sister with a tight hug each. “And thanks for wearing heels, Luce, as if you weren’t taller enough than me as it is!”

“Only ‘cause it’s a special occasion,” Lucy retorted, before squeaking excitedly as another familiar face entered the room.

“Hey, guy and gals!” Rick said with a wide grin as he greeted all three teenagers with hugs and air kisses.

“Hi Rick!” Lucy said with a giggle. “Glad you could make it tonight!”

“Oh please,” Rick chuckled. “As if I’m going to miss the birthday party of two of my favourite people? It’s a pity Gav can’t be here to make it a hat-trick, heh.”

“Aye,” Susie sighed. “But we’ve all sent him messages to let him know we’re thinking of him.”

“Good,” Rick said as he helped himself to a drink. “I’ll have a chat with him when he’s feeling better, just to let him know, well, the same thing you just said, hehe!”

“It’s weird how close to him I’ve become after only knowing him a few months,” Luke mused.

“Meh, you could’ve said the same thing about me,” Susie shrugged. “I mean, that’s literally what friends are for, isn’t it?”

“That’s what I always say,” Rick concurred. “Though in fairness I don’t have any friends who are literally lifelong, unlike you two- well, lifelong plus an additional nine months, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy said as she blushed shyly.

“I do, however,” Rick continued, “have a LOT of friends I’ve known for a few months- say a couple of years, give or take- who I’ve met through the LGBT society. And I hope you won’t mind, but I’ve invited them all along tonight?”

“Well, you’re a fan of Jamie-Lee Burke as well, aren’t you?” Lucy replied as Rick nodded. “I don’t need to tell you what she says about friends, do I?”

“Indeed you don’t,” Rick giggled as the room gradually started to fill with revellers.

Luke and Lucy spent the evening drinking and dancing, but more importantly, simply relaxing and enjoying being with their friends. Both Luke and Lucy marvelled at the number of people- and not just people, but genuine friends who showed up. Even though there was never more than 15 people at a time at the party, and the majority of them hung out in the corridor or adjacent rooms, it was still more people than either of the twins had ever had at one of their parties. Both of the twins made a point of enjoying every second- especially Lucy, who made a point of dancing with every guy who came to the party, relishing every second of being treated as the woman that she truly was inside.

The party ended just after 1:30am, with Luke and Susie being the last to leave, though not before sharing one last drink and one last very welcome hug with Lucy. As she sat down to remove her make-up, Lucy sighed as she saw the boy that she used to be start to appear in her mirror. With her make-up on, Lucy had acknowledged that it had been easier for others to accept her as a girl, but as she removed it, she realised that the same could be said of her as well. The more she looked at her reflection in the mirror, the more she couldn’t help but see the same boy that had stared back at her for nineteen years- the same boy she would be forced to be for her parents’ benefit the following day. And while she comforted herself with the knowledge that she’d be back at university the day after, she couldn’t help but wonder that when she put on her make-up, whether it was the ‘real her’, or just a disguise to hide the ‘real him’…

When Luke returned to his room, he let out a tired sigh as he kicked off his shoes, unbuttoned his shirt and unfastened his trousers, before sighing as he sat down on the edge of his bed and slowly unzipped his vest. Luke let out a quiet, pained moan as the breasts that had been suppressed throughout the day hung loose, and while he was glad to be free of the physical discomfort, the sight of the soft mounds on his chest brought forth the same feelings that Lucy's face had for her. While Luke could ‘disguise’ that aspect of himself, like Lucy could with her make-up, unlike Lucy, the discomfort he felt while 'suppressed' was a constant reminder that he was not ‘anatomically correct’. Luke knew that he would be able to ‘bind’ again the following day and his parents would barely notice, but he would always be aware that he was ‘disguising’ himself, and that feeling would be made all the worse every time his parents called him ‘Lucy’, or ‘daughter’, or worst of all, ‘girl’…

Lucy was the first to be woken up the following morning, her head throbbing both from the excitement of the previous night and the sound of her phone’s ringtone blaring mere inches from her head.

“He- hello?” Lucy said in her soft voice, immediately wincing as she saw the caller ID too late.

“God, you’re sounding rough for this time of morning!” Paul chuckled down the phone at his oldest child. “No need to ask if you had fun last night, then!”

“Oh, umm, hi dad,” Lucy said, wincing again as she consciously lowered the pitch of her voice.

“Hello and more importantly happy birthday to you, son!” Paul said with a hearty laugh as Lucy winced again- both from the volume of his voice and his use of the word ‘son’. “I’ve just got into Durham and I’m parked in one of the multi-storeys, what time d’you want me to come and pick yas both up?” Lucy felt herself start to panic as she realised the confrontation she was dreading was imminent, but took a deep breath and calmed herself down as she realised she at least had a way of delaying it for a short while longer.

“I, umm, I’ll need to wake up Lu- Lucy, first,” Lucy replied, wincing once more at the use of her own name as her brother’s deadname.

“Aye, okay, I can find a coffee shop and wait somewhere,” Paul said. “Text me when ya both ready and I’ll come and pick yas up from the front gate. Is Susie coming too or has she already gone back home?”

“Umm, I dunno,” Lucy replied. “Is there any reason why Susie would come with us?”

“Well, aye, it’s your birthday and you’re gonna want to hang out with your friends, aren’t ya?” Paul replied with a chuckle. “I’ve got five seats in my car so we can swing by and pick up your friend Gavin as well, it’d be nice to actually meet him for once- well, while we’re still allowed to, anyway. I’d have treated yas all to tickets to go and see the match against Man City yesterday, if it had actually happened, like.”

“Well- yeah…” Lucy grimaced. “I- umm, Gavin, he- he’s not feeling well. It was actually his birthday yesterday, but he’s got, like, a medical condition so he had to go home early, and- yeah…”

“Ah, that’s a pity,” Paul replied. “From what you’ve told me he sounds like a nice enough lad.” Even though I’ve told you that he’s gay? Lucy thought to herself “We can always meet him another time, then. If Boris Johnson allows us to, anyway. Either way, we’ve got a load of presents at home that we’re itching to give the both of yas, so wake up Lucy and Susie and let’s get going, okay?”

“Well- okay,” Lucy said, trying her hardest not to sound resigned to her fate.

“And happy birthday again!” Paul cheered, before ending the call. With a loud sigh, Lucy composed a text message to her brother and her friend, both of whom were still asleep- albeit not for long.

“Fuck’s sake,” Luke moaned as his twin’s text message woke him with a start, his head pounding from the night before. Luke let out a long sigh as he read the contents of the message, before splashing his face with cold water from his sink and staring at his reflection in the mirror.

Even though he would wear no make-up or jewellery, even though he would wear baggy boy’s clothing and his chest binder, and even though he felt just as masculine as he did the previous night at the party, Luke still felt his stress levels rise. No matter how obvious it felt to him, or how much of a male image he tried to project, he knew that his parents would only ever see him as their daughter. He desperately wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them until they realised the truth, but he knew that wouldn’t help him, and would in fact cause more harm than good- not to him, or to their parents, but to Lucy. Luke and Lucy had promised each other that whatever they did, they’d do together, always, and both had implicitly included coming out in that promise. And yet, Luke knew that he couldn’t bottle up his feelings any longer, no matter how much his sister might need him to.

With his stomach churning, Luke pulled on his preferred jeans, hoodie and walking boots, making sure his chest binder was as comfortable as it could get before rendezvousing with his sister outside her room- where he was overtaken by a feeling of guilt.

Rather than the fancy jumpsuit and heels she’d worn the previous night, Lucy was also clad in a pair of jeans, a hoodie and her own men’s trainers. Her face bore no trace of the expensive make-up she wore the previous night, and her hair had been slicked back into as androgynous a style as she could manage.

“H- hey,” Luke whispered, trying his hardest not to cry at the sight of his sister with her hard-earned femininity stripped away. “You- you okay?”

“I will be when I’m back here tomorrow,” Lucy replied with a sigh. “Let- let’s just get this over with, okay?”

“Sure,” Luke whispered, giving his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze as they headed down the corridor, finding their friend waiting for them outside of her room.

“Hey, you two,” Susie said gently as she gave the twins a gentle hug each. “But first, happy birthday, heh!”

“I doubt it, but okay,” Luke snorted, forcing a smile on his face as Lucy sent the text message to their father and the three teenagers headed to the main gate of the university.

When they arrived, it didn’t take them long to spot their father, who was stood by his car with a wide grin on his face.

“Now then, you two!” Paul beamed as he exchanged loving, yet awkward hugs with both of his children. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks, dad,” Lucy mumbled as he got into the passenger seat of the car, while Luke and Susie slid onto the back seat.

“And thanks for coming along, Susie,” Paul said. “I figured that while it was still legal to, like, hang out with your friends, these two would appreciate it.”

“No problem Mr. Miller, thanks for the lift!” Susie chuckled. “You think we’re definitely going to be locked down, then?”

“Meh, maybe I’m being paranoid, but I dunno,” Paul replied with a shrug. “My work is really paranoid about this whole covid thing, if you’ve got even a slight cough you get sent home for the day. But, then again, I’m not a doctor, and there’s a lot of things- like, about covid- that I don’t understand but, you know, have to accept as a fact.”

“My mam’s the same way,” Susie said. “Actually said it might be safer for me to stay home if someone in the uni- like, the WHOLE uni- gets sick with it, but, like, that’d be really impractical, trying to learn from home. Especially in chemistry, where a lot of it is, like, hands on.”

“Well hopefully you’ll be able to use some of this hands-on work to come up with a cure for this thing,” Paul chuckled. “Though don’t worry, I’ve got you better birthday presents than just Bunsen burners and test tubes!” I doubt it, Luke thought to himself as the car headed home.

Just over half an hour later, the car pulled up outside the Millers’ home and the three teenagers got out, Luke and Lucy exchanging a supportive glance as they entered the living room, where their mother was waiting for them along with a large pile of presents. Much to the twins’ surprise, though, they couldn’t immediately tell whose presents were who’s, as unlike in previous years, they had all been wrapped in identical black and white stripped wrapping paper.

“Happy birthday, you two!” Sarah said, giving each of her children a long hug. “It seems like forever since I last saw either of you!”

“It was Christmas, it was literally less than three months,” Luke replied.

“Well, it feels like we have a lot longer to make up for,” Sarah said as she gestured to the pile of presents. “Hence these!”

“Well- yeah, thanks!” Lucy said with a forced giggle of excitement. “Who- whose pres-“

“Now we’ve done things a little different this year,” Paul said, interrupting his child. “We know you usually take it in turns, but Luke, we want you to open your presents first.” Luke instinctively started to reach toward the pile, before realising that his father had actually meant his sister. Luke hesitantly sat down, his anxiety levels continuing to rise as his sister reached for her pile.

“O- okay,” Lucy said, taking each gift as it was handed to her by her father. Lucy carefully unwrapped each present, revealing men's clothing, deodorant sets and the other presents she always inevitably got for Christmas and her birthday. With each gift she unwrapped, Lucy feigned her gratitude, but what she and Luke couldn’t help but notice was that several of the presents were being set to one side by their father- both twins assuming that those presents were intended for Luke. Or 'Lucy', as the labels would inevitably say.

After Lucy had finished unwrapping her final present, a new electric razor, she sat back in her seat and tried not to feel deflated by yet another disappointing birthday. She prepared to feign interest yet again (but tried not envy) in the gifts that Luke was about to receive, but much to the surprise of all the teenagers, the twins’ parents suddenly became nervous, fiddling with the presents instead of handing them over.

“R- right then,” Paul said, taking a deep breath to compose himself. “Lucy, we- we’ve done something a bit different with your presents this year. We- we want you to know that if we’ve got this wrong, we can always take everything back and exchange it, we’ve got all the receipts, that’s not a problem. But, like, you- you never tell us what you want, what you, like, REALLY want, so we- umm…”

“We’ve- we’ve used our instincts,” Sarah said as she nervously handed over Luke’s first present. “Again, tell us if we’re wrong, please, but- but also, please, please tell us if we’re right.” Luke hesitantly took the package from his mother, but gasped with shock and almost dropped it on the floor when he read what was written on the label.

“What, what is it?” Lucy asked quietly, gasping as Luke showed him the label.

‘To our OTHER son on his nineteenth birthday.’

Lucy felt herself become overwhelmed with emotions as she read the label- on the one hand, she was excited, ecstatic even to see her brother final be recognised for the person, the MAN that he was. But there was one word on the label that Lucy couldn’t look beyond- the word ‘other’. In their focus on Luke, they had seemingly been ignorant of the change in Lucy herself- but why should their parents have suspected that something was ‘amiss’ about her? She’d carefully hidden her femininity from them, never worn the clothes or the make-up she loved so much, never acted in the way that had become increasingly natural to her… However, Lucy recognised that an opportunity laid before both of them, an opportunity that might not present itself again.

“…S- so?” Sarah asked, her hands trembling. “Did- did we get it wrong?” Luke bit his lip as he looked toward his sister pleadingly, almost as though he was seeking permission with his eyes. When Lucy simply nodded, Luke turned back toward his parents with a look of pure fear on his face.

“…No,” Luke replied firmly. “You- you got it right.” The look of relief on his parents’ faces was soon mirrored on Luke’s own face as nineteen years of anxiety seemed to melt away in an instant. He had been not just recognised, but accepted by the people who mattered more to him than anyone else- anyone other than his twin, anyway, to whom he shot a sympathetic look, only to smile when Lucy simply nodded again.

“Well- well, then go on and open it!” Paul chuckled, his smile widening as Luke tore open the wrapping paper to reveal a Lynx Africa gift set- an identical one to what Lucy had opened mere minutes before, further sinking the trans girl’s heart.

“Well, then,” Paul said with a nervous giggle. “I guess I’ve got two sons now, haven’t I?” Luke opened his mouth to reply, only to pause as he once again looked toward his twin. However, rather than nod, Lucy said two simple words to his brother.

“Together,” Lucy whispered. “Always.” Luke nodded and gripped his twin’s hand as she took a deep breath.

“Actually,” Lucy said, surprising the room as she shifted to the same voice that had become second nature to her over the previous six months. “You- you don’t have two sons. Luc- Luk-“ Lucy paused as she alternated between her twin’s deadname and current name, realising that neither would be appropriate in the situation- not until she said what she had to say, anyway. “My twin isn’t the only person around here who’s transgender. I- I am too.”

TO BE CONTINUED

“I- I’m sorry, what?” Paul asked, confusion and anger seeping into his voice.

“I- I’m also transgender,” Lucy said firmly as her grip tightened on her brother’s hand. “For- that is, ever since- ever since we started university, I- I’ve been living as a girl. Going to classes, going to parties as- as a girl.”

“I- I- just… what?” Paul asked.

“Luke, what are you sa-“ Sarah asked, only for her child to interrupt her.

“It- it’s Lucy, now,” Lucy said, her body shuddering as she introduced her true self for the first time. “Since six months ago. My name is- is Lucy.”

“And- and mine is Luke,” Luke said, exchanging a smile with her sister as they shared yet another moment together. “Our professors, our friends at uni all know about it.”

“Is- is this some kind of joke, some kind of prank?” Paul asked Lucy. “Like, you hear your sis- your new brother admit to being transgender so you pretend to be as well?”

“There’s nothing to ‘admit’ to, it’s not a crime,” Lucy pleaded.

“I- I never said it was,” Paul said defensively.

“And it isn’t a joke or a prank,” Susie said quietly, sharing a smile with her two best friends. “This- this is true.”

“And how long have you known about this?” Sarah asked the ginger haired girl.

“Since the start of college,” Susie replied. “So, like, autumn 2017.”

“Since- how long have you hidden this from us!?” Paul exclaimed.

“’Hidden’?” Luke retorted.

“Well- not you, like, but him!” Paul said, pointing at Lucy as she began to squirm uncomfortably in her seat.

“’Her’,” Lucy said firmly. “My pronouns are ‘her’ and ‘she’.”

“Since when!?” Paul exclaimed.

“I- I just told you, since the start of university!” Lucy replied as tears started to form in her eyes. “How- how can you accept Luke but not me for doing the exact same thing?”

“Well- well it’s not the exact same thing, is it?” Paul asked. “And I’m not rejecting you, I’m just-“ Paul closed his eyes and moaned with frustration as he realised that he had no adequate way to finish his sentence.

“What your father is trying to say,” Sarah said hastily, before grimacing as she also struggled to finish her sentence.

“…Is that it’s easier to think about a girl becoming a boy than a boy becoming a girl?” Luke asked, earning an angry glare from both of his parents, though both Paul and Sarah quickly averted their gaze from his determined stare.

“You never gave us any hints,” Paul mumbled. “Your sis- you- your brother, I mean, sh- HE looks, you know…”

“I ‘look transgender’?” Luke asked, his anger levels rising.

“Well- well I’m sorry if that sounds insensitive, but yeah, ya do,” Paul said, before turning to Lucy. “But you, you look- well, ‘normal’.”

“’Normal’!?” Luke snapped.

“I- I mean, like-“ Paul stammered.

“Your father means that you haven’t, well, made any effort to, well, ‘present’ yourself,” Sarah explained to Lucy, who felt her tension levels rise along with her brother’s anger.

“Be- because I was scared to,” Lucy replied, silencing her parents. “I was afraid that if I told you- well, if I ‘told you’ that- that you’d hate me for it. Seems I was right.”

“No- ugh, no of course we don’t hate you,” Paul sighed as he slumped down into his chair. “We could never hate you no matter what you did. We- we’re just concerned for you, like, for your safety, and your health…”

“For my happiness as well?” Lucy asked. “Because I can tell you right now that I’m way, WAY happier living as Lucy at university than I ever was as ‘Luke’.”

“Same here, with the names reversed,” Luke said.

“And I know I don’t ‘pass’,” Lucy said as tears formed in her eyes. “But that shouldn’t matter, it’s what’s on the inside that should count. And on the inside, I- I feel like a girl. I have done for pretty much as far back as I can remember.”

“And I suppose you knew about all this too?” Paul asked Susie, making her flinch.

“I did, yep,” the flame-haired girl mumbled in reply, before taking a deep breath. “And every- everything they said, I can vouch for. I get to see every day just how much happier they both are than when they were at sixth form college.”

“I- well, okay,” Paul said, sighing heavily as he leaned back in his chair. “I think I’m gonna need a minute to, like, process all of this.”

“You didn’t need a minute for Luke,” Lucy snorted.

“Oh- believe me, we absolutely did, way more than just a minute in fact!” Paul scoffed.

“Your father and I have been agonising over this ever since Christmas,” Sarah explained as she struggled to control her emotions. “We’ve talked about it almost every day, wondering whether we’d done anything wrong, worrying how you might respond.”

“We were terrified that if we got it wrong, you’d end up hating us,” Paul said, his voice trembling.

“And we were scared that if we told us and you disapproved, that you’d hate us,” Lucy retorted, silencing both of her parents.

“…Honestly, I feel offended by that,” Paul said matter-of-factly. “Not by anything, anything that yas two have done, but at the thought that any parent could ever hate their child.”

“Or that any child should feel afraid of their parents,” Sarah said, causing her husband to close his eyes and frown.

“Nothing you’ve done is illegal,” Paul said, though to the twins, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of the truth than stating an objective fact. “Nothing you’ve done is immoral, at least not as far as I’m concerned. And yas are both adults, living your own lives. So if you’re telling me that the person I thought was my son is now my daughter- and, of course, the person I thought was my daughter is now my son- then I accept that.” Luke and Lucy both felt themselves decompress as the stress and anxiety of the situation started to leave their bodies. Their anxiety began to rise again, though, as they looked to their mother expectantly.

“Then- then I suppose I do too,” Sarah said, forcing a smile on her face as her children wept tears of relief. “But you need to understand that this isn’t going to be easy for you. For EITHER of you.”

“Yeah, after six months of uni we’ve kinda figured that one out already,” Luke snorted.

“But we’ve got friends who help us,” Lucy said. “Not ju- umm, no offence, Susie, but not just you, like.”

“None taken, I love being part of this ‘clique’,” Susie chuckled.

“So, this Gavin fella’s in this ‘clique’ as well, I take it?” Paul asked, sighing as his children nodded, before turning to Lucy with a look of concern on his face. “He’s not your boyfriend, is he?”

“Well- no,” Lucy replied bluntly. “Like I’ve already told you, he’s gay.”

“Aye, and?” Paul retorted, before grimacing. “…He isn’t likely to be interested in someone pos- umm, presenting themselves as a girl.” Lucy felt herself bristle at her father’s faux pas, but chose not to confront him over it, reasoning that he at least made an effort to address her correctly.

“Right,” Luke said, earning a look of concern from his father.

“He- he isn’t YOUR boyfriend, is he?” Paul asked.

“No, but what would it matter if he was?” Luke replied.

“Well, aren’t- aren’t ya trying to be a boy?” Paul asked.

“I’d like to think I’m more than just ‘trying’,” Luke snorted. “But gender identity doesn’t have anything to do with sexual orientation. Lots of trans guys still feel attracted to other men, so- yeah, I guess.”

“Well- fair enough, I guess,” Paul sighed, before leaning forward and letting out a tired moan. “Today has NOT gone the way I thought it would.”

“Kinda came as a surprise to both of us as well,” Luke said. “But, well, I guess we’re both still alive and not out on the street, so that’s a win, isn’t it?”

“I’d have hoped that a ‘win’ would be a lot more than just that,” Paul sighed.

“Well- aye, there is one more thing,” Lucy said. “That’s being able to live openly as the people we really are inside. THAT’s a win as far as I’m concerned.”

“Well- can’t argue with that, I guess,” Paul said. “But your mam was right when she said that it isn’t gonna be easy for either of you.”

“You- your grandparents wanted to come today,” Sarah explained, sending a chill down the twins' spines. “We told them it wouldn’t be safe- because of the virus, you understand, but really, we- we were concerned about how they’d react to you, Luc- Luke.”

“Well, if they did, then it’s their problem, isn’t it?” Luke angrily retorted.

“And ours,” Paul said firmly. “Do yas remember your eighth birthday? When they bought you that suit and that dress and yas came downstairs wearing it the wron- wearing it the other way round?”

“I’ve been trying hard to forget it,” Luke mumbled.

“We can hardly blame you for that,” Sarah said softly. “In hindsight, it SHOULD have been a ‘clue’, even if we did think it was just a phase or some silly game back then.”

“But the point is,” Paul continued, “I had to really, REALLY talk your granddad around back then. To get him to, like, apologise, realise it was just a game- well, you know what I mean, but, like- nothing, you know, ‘harmful’.”

“And by ‘harmful’ you mean ‘might cause someone born a boy to become a girl full time’, right?” Luke asked.

“Well- ‘harmful from his perspective’, then,” Paul corrected himself. “And he took a lot of convincing, believe me. If I’d done anything like that when I was a kid- well…” Luke and Lucy felt their cheeks flush as they remembered what their father had said earlier- that no child should ever have to be afraid of their parents. The twins both wondered whether their father was speaking hypothetically, or from experience...

“D- dad?” Lucy asked hesitantly.

“Don’t- ugh,” Paul sighed. “The important thing is that you’re happy, both of you.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled.

“Are you- are you seeing someone about this?” Sarah asked. “Like, a doctor or someone?”

“A counsellor, yeah,” Lucy replied.

“Who’s trying to help us, not ‘cure’ us of being transgender,” Luke said aggressively.

“Good,” Paul said. “When- when we, you know, looked into it for your sake, one of the things that came up was this ‘conversion therapy’ shit. And from what I read it didn’t seem any less awful than what your granddad might have done.”

“This may sound harsh,” Luke said, his usual bravado faltering, “but I wouldn’t shed any tears if I never saw him again.” Luke withered in his chair as his father glared angrily at him.

“Well I WOULD,” Paul growled. “O- old-fashioned or not, he’s still my dad, and I don’t want to be forced to choose between you and him. Though I- I guess the ball’s in his court when it comes to that. Heh, I guess I’m just going to have to get used to you wearing a dress whenever you come back round here, heh.” Lucy fidgeted in her seat as she suddenly became aware of the thick, heavy boy’s jeans she was wearing- something she’d been able to put to the back of her mind before her father reminded her of her attire.

“Y- yeah,” Lucy chuckled. “Though- though most days I normally wear, you know, leggings with a skirt over them… yeah.” Lucy tried not to cry as she saw her father fidget in his seat- despite him having said that he'd accepted her, she knew that there was a long and bumpy road ahead of them even before her grandparents got involved.

“Well- anyway,” Sarah said. “Despite everything that’s been said, it’s still your birthday today, so how about some cake?” Luke and Lucy exchanged a knowing glance, both knowing that their mother's use of the words 'despite everything that's been said' meant that the road ahead with their mother would be no smoother than with their father. However, they also both knew that the 'bumpiest' part of the journey was now behind them- and they had more than earned the right to celebrate.

“P- please,” Lucy mumbled.

“Sounds great,” Luke said at the same time as his sister, forcing a smile on his face even though he knew that his entire life had changed- and while he wanted to believe that it was for the best that his parents knew about his true self, he couldn’t say for certain that that was the case.

After a filling, home cooked meal and several slices of the rich chocolate cake that Sarah had made, the three teenagers were all tired and bloated, but gathered their energy as they readied themselves for their journey back to university. As the clock ticked over to 6pm, Luke, Lucy and Susie followed Paul out to his car, and soon they were headed back south toward Durham. For the first time since they started their studies, though, neither Luke nor Lucy felt the usual anxiety to get back to their new lives, thanks to the knowledge that they no longer had to 'hide' their true selves when back home.

“I just had a thought, actually,” Paul mused, attracting the attention of the three teenagers, all of whom had become engrossed in their phones. “L- Luke, right? You said you were playing football for the girls’ team at uni, but that can’t be the case, can it?”

“Well- erm, no, that’s right,” Luke mumbled. “I- umm, I actually play with the boys. Like, on the boys’ team. Against o- other boys.”

“…Is that safe?” Paul asked, not noticing the angry look that flashed across his son’s face.

“It’s not like I’m playing rugby, or bare fist fighting,” Luke grumbled. “And I play defensive midfield, so it’s not like everyone’s lining up to tackle me either. And I’m on the uni’s third team, not the first team, so it’s not like anyone gives a shit either way.”

“Okay, okay, I’m just concerned, that’s all,” Paul snorted. “You think I’d be a piss-poor dad for not accepting you for who you are, well the same goes for not looking out for you as well.”

“Thanks,” Luke mumbled, averting his gaze to not let his father see his face flush with shame.

“And on that topic,” Paul continued, “I hope now that yas won’t be so anxious about coming home every weekend. Or whenever you feel like it, of course. Lucy- you wear what you want, honestly. As long as it’s decent and it’s not a Sunderland shirt, I honestly won’t mind. In fact, I’m looking forward to seeing yas both next weekend!”

“Umm, we- we don’t know if we’ll be free next weekend,” Lucy said. “I think Luke’s got, like, a training session, right?”

“Only if Boris says we do,” Luke shrugged. “Hell, he might not even let us go out at all.”

“I doubt it’ll get THAT bad,” Paul said, though the twins could tell from the solemnity of his voice that he didn't fully believe what he'd said. “Either way, I want yas both to know that you don’t need to be afraid anymore. You don’t EVER need to be afraid of me or your mam.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered. “And- and grandma and grandpa?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Paul said quietly. “But we’ll be on your side the whole time, I promise.”

“Thanks,” Luke said, a genuine smile spreading across his face as the car travelled onward. For months, Luke had grown to believe that his dorm in Durham was his only 'true' home- the only place where he could truly be himself. After the events of the weekend, though, Luke began to realise that he, and by extension, his sister, now had two places they could truly call home.

When they arrived back at their dorm, Lucy wasted no time in changing out of her boy’s jeans and hoodie into a clingy black long-sleeved top and a knee-length denim skirt. As she folded away her jeans, she felt a surprising pang of sadness as she realised that she no longer needed to keep the clothes, or any of her old boy’s clothes either. That chapter of her life was now behind her, and while she was excited at the prospect of living as a woman without compromise, she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic about the excitement that becoming a girl brought her- and nervous at the fact that she felt like she’d passed a point of no return.

“Took you long enough!” Susie teased Lucy as the tall girl entered her brother’s dorm. “And looking good too, or at least better than last time I saw you!”

“Thanks,” Lucy said with a giggle as she elegantly sat down on the edge of Luke’s bed. “Today was… a lot less painful than I was expecting, heh.”

“You’re telling me!” Luke snorted. “I mean, for the first time ever I actually get something I want for my birthd- oh.” Luke bit his lip and blushed as he remembered that the same couldn't be said for his sister.

“...Nah, I don’t mind you saying it,” Lucy said softly. “And believe me, I was as excited as you were when dad brought out those ‘alternative’ presents. Even if- heh.”

“Even if you knew you weren’t going to get any yourself?” Luke asked softly, blinking back a tear as his sister nodded.

“But, like I said, it’s okay,” Lucy said with a smile. “It all worked out in the end. I mean, I’m sat here like this, aren’t I? And next weekend I could be sat at home like this. Well, covid permitting, anyway.”

“Aye,” Luke said softly, before turning to his and his sister’s friend. “And thank YOU for being there for us.”

“Wha- me?” Susie chuckled, before shaking her head. “Hardly feels like I did anything at all.”

“You were there, that’s plenty,” Lucy whispered, a wide grin spreading across her face. “I really don’t think either of us would be where we are right now if it wasn’t for your help.”

“Well, that’s just what friends are for, isn’t it?” Susie asked with a wide grin of her own.

“Totally,” Luke said as he shared a group hug with his sister and his friend.

Despite the excitement of the day leaving him feeling utterly exhausted, Luke found himself struggling to fall asleep that night. The thrill of being able to successfully come out to his parents was negated by the fact that his mother was right- he did still have a bumpy road ahead of him. As much as he wanted to celebrate, he still felt the niggling sensation that there was worse yet to come- though he couldn’t say whether that would come from his grandparents, or from the people like Barnes on the university football team, or from ‘external factors’ like covid or his studies. He and Lucy hadn’t even begun hormone treatments, and while coming out to his parents was a major 'obstacle' that was no longer in their way, and Luke was eager to begin taking testosterone, he knew from his research into HRT that there was no guarantee that it would change his body for the better. However, Luke took comfort from the fact that two of the most important people in his life had acknowledged that he was indeed a man- and better yet, that Lucy was indeed a woman. When Luke eventually fell asleep, that fact put a smile on his face that had been absent for a long time.

The twins woke up early the following morning and went about their morning routine as usual, but when they met up for their first lecture, both had wide grins on their faces and a renewed sense of enthusiasm.

“Morning!” Lucy said with a nervous giggle as she gave her brother a hug, before adjusting her short pleated skirt. “Still doesn’t seem real, does it?”

“Well… bits of it don’t, heh!” Luke chuckled. “Going to be a HELL of a call with Dr Adams this afternoon!”

“Too right,” Lucy said. “Hopefully mam or dad can join the call as well, like, so we can, you know, ‘prove it’.”

“Aye,” Luke said, biting his lip as he pondered his next question. “Have you- have you thought about, you know, hormones? Like, testosterone for me, I’m assuming oestrogen for you?” Luke felt his nerves increase as Lucy paused to consider her response- as desperate as he was to begin the treatments, he didn't want to go ahead with them if it meant leaving Lucy 'behind'.

“I’ve THOUGHT about it, aye,” Lucy replied. “And- I guess, I suppose. It’s just- ugh. We’ll talk after, or maybe even during the meeting with Dr Adams, okay?”

“Well- okay, I guess,” Luke said, trying to hide his disappointment at Lucy’s ambiguous answer as they headed into their lecture.

The lecture and associated seminars took up the entirety of the morning and early afternoon, and by the time they were finished, both Luke and Lucy’s minds were frazzled from the information they'd absorbed and the nerves of their upcoming meeting with their counsellor. However, both twins were determined to enter the meeting relaxed and with a positive mindset, and there was one place where they knew they would get that- and one group of people who would always help them in any way they could.

“Oh my god, that is so cool!” Claudia squeaked after the twins had finished relating to their friends the tale of their birthday. “I would hug you, but we’re apparently not supposed to do that anymore, heh.”

“I- I’ll accept, like, ‘virtual hugs’, heh!” Lucy chuckled. “And yes, you would not believe how much of a weight off my mind- off OUR minds it is. Like, we don’t have to hide anymore.” Except from our grandparents, Lucy thought to herself as she exchanged a knowing look with her brother.

“Are you doing anything to celebrate?” Kieran asked. “Like, a party or anything?”

“We literally just had a party on Saturday!” Luke reminded his friend, who giggled and blushed. “But I guess I wouldn’t say no to another one, heh. Depends on what our counsellor says today.”

“Depends on if Boris says anything today,” Susie mused, rolling her eyes at the jeers she inevitably received from her friends. “And I bought the last round, I’m not getting the next one!”

“You can get the first one tomorrow, then,” Lucy chuckled smugly. “Where’s Priya, anyway?”

“Going straight to her ballet class,” Claudia explained. “Couldn’t stop in here first as she’s not allowed to change in the changing rooms anymore, nobody is. And I’m not saying why as I’m skint until the end of the month!”

“Fair enough,” Luke shrugged. “And… ugh, never mind.”

“Umm, okay,” Lucy said, concerned by the sudden change in her brother's attitude. “Are- are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Luke sighed. “I- I’m just thinking that as the locker rooms are, well, locked down, and the football team has to change in their rooms… Heh. Let’s just say I'm not shedding any tears about that.”

“Ugh,” Kieran spat. “Is Barnes STILL being a pain in the arse to you?”

“Not as bad as he has been,” Luke sighed. “Just the usual ‘jokes’, I think his last one was whether or not they’ll be getting a tampon machine in the boys’ locker room.”

“Hilarious,” Susie snorted sarcastically.

“Meh, I’ll live,” Luke shrugged. “One thing I’ve found over the last six months is that there are a lot more people with me than against me.”

“With US,” Lucy said, earning a warm smile from her brother. “So… Priya doesn’t like the idea of sitting around the bar in just a leotard and a pair of tights?”

“We are TOTALLY pranking her into doing that,” Claudia said, earning a loud laugh from everyone present at the table- with the twins laughing louder than anyone else.

After finishing their drinks, the twins made their excuses and headed back to Lucy’s room, where they mentally steeled themselves for their impending phone call.

“Hey,” Luke whispered as he noticed Lucy’s hands starting to shake. “You okay?”

“Y- yeah,” Lucy replied hesitantly. “I just- heh. A bit nervous, that’s all. I mean, god knows why, right? The hard part was yesterday, this is practically a formality…”

“I know what you mean,” Luke sighed. “It still, like, doesn’t feel 100% ‘real’, like, not long from now I could be taking testosterone, and a few months after that I might not need this stupid ‘squashy’ vest anymore, then after that I could have a passport that says ‘male’ on it… Ugh, I dunno. But, like, we’ve got to focus on the positives, right? I don’t have to pretend to be female at all for the rest of my life, not even for one second.”

“Exactly,” Lucy said. “Heh, and 12 months from now, I might end up needing to wear a bra, and having smoother skin… Heh. But it’s up to what Dr Adams says. We shouldn’t get our hopes up TOO high, but we HAVE been living full-time as, well, ‘us’ for six months, that has to count for something, surely?”

“You’d have thought so,” Luke said, taking a deep breath as his sister’s phone rang and the familiar number of their counsellor appeared on screen. “Well, showtime, then.” Lucy smiled and nodded, before pressing the button to answer the call.

“Good afternoon, Lucy,” the voice of Dr Adams said through the speakerphone. “Is Luke there too?”

“Aye, we’re both here,” Luke replied. “And I hope you got my last email?”

“I did indeed,” Dr Adams said, the twins smiling at the positivity in her voice. “We clearly have a lot to discuss today, but the most important thing is: how are you both feeling?”

“…Weird,” Lucy replied after a brief pause for thought. “Like, it’s a major relief that I’m, you know, ‘out’ out, but- but it’s like it didn’t solve as many problems as I’d hoped it would.”

“In what way?” Dr Adams asked.

“It’s like- well,” Lucy replied as she carefully pondered her words. “What I guess I’m thinking is ‘so now what?’. Like, my parents know about ‘Lucy’, but it hasn’t really changed anything, I’m still at uni, I’m still in the same body…”

“It’s understandable that you’d feel that way,” Dr Adams reassured the young woman. “Transitioning is a journey and can be a long one, and while the step you took yesterday was undoubtedly an important one, it’s also a very early one on the road to being the person you were meant to be.”

“I guess so,” Lucy shrugged.

“I kinda feel the same,” Luke said. “I mean, it was even set up for me, my- our parents ‘sussed’ me and decided the best thing was to unconditionally accept me. I mean, I should feel seven feet tall, but I- nothing’s changed, you know?” Luke bit his lip and averted his gaze from his sister, hoping that she didn't realise that her awkward coming out was the source of his awkwardness.

“Well, whether you realise it or not, you will have come out- pun not intended- of the weekend stronger than you were before,” Dr Adams said. “You have demonstrated again that you are genuine in your desire to live your lives as your true genders, and the question of ‘what next’ is indeed a valid one.”

“We were thinking about, you know, hormones,” Luke mumbled.

“Which is also understandable,” Dr Adams said. “It is, after all, the next logical step on your journey. However, while I feel you have met any and all ‘conditions’ that I would have liked, I still want to speak at length with both yourself and your parents before I write out a prescription. I should add, though, that the discussion with your parents is more of a formality than anything- you are, after all, both adults, so it’s not like you or I need to seek their permission. I do, however, need both of your consent to speak with them before I call them. Obviously if there’s anything you don’t want me to discuss, it won’t be brought up with them- this is just to get their perspective of the situation as the people who have known you the longest of all.”

“I’ve got no problem with you calling them,” Lucy replied instantly.

“Me- me either,” Luke said with slight trepidation in his voice.

“Okay then,” Dr Adams said. “I’ve allowed time to call them after we’ve spoken, unless you have any objections to them joining in this call?”

“No objections,” Lucy replied.

“Nope,” Luke mumbled.

“Okay then,” Dr Adams said. “I just need to put you on hold while I call them on the number you gave me, just a second…” Luke and Lucy both bit their lips nervously as the sound of easy-listening music filled the room.

“Why do I feel like we’re about to come out AGAIN?” Lucy mused.

“Why does it feel like that’s what it’ll feel like every time we have any contact with mum and dad?” Luke retorted, frowning as his sister had no reply for him. “Exactly.”

“Well, it- it’s early days, let’s give them a chance,” Lucy said, before her breath caught in her mouth as the hold music ended and a familiar voice filled the room.

“Hello?” Paul’s voice resonated through the room. “Luke? Lucy? Are yas there?”

“H- hi dad,” Luke said.

“Hi, dad,” Lucy said, smiling as she realised that her father would be expecting to hear a higher pitch to her voice. “Are- aren’t you at work today, then?”

“Nah, I’ve not been getting as many shifts thanks to covid,” Paul replied. “But I’d have taken this afternoon off anyway after your doctor contacted me.” Luke bristled at the use of the word ‘doctor’, feeling that it meant his father still saw his gender identity as an illness, but he held his tongue to allow his father and his counsellor to continue.

“Obviously I don’t need to introduce the three of you,” Dr Adams said in an ultimately futile attempt to lighten the mood. “Is there anything you’d like to say to each other before we begin?”

“Umm, nope,” Lucy replied.

“Nope,” Luke mumbled.

“…Okay,” Paul said. “I- I guess I’ll say something then, and that’s that your mam and I are proud of both of yas. We don’t say that enough and certainly didn’t say it enough yesterday. You’re both mature- certainly more mature than I was at your age, heh- and we couldn’t be happier that you’re both becoming your own people, whatever gender you choose to live as.”

“Thanks, dad,” Luke mumbled.

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered emotionally.

“That was very well put, Paul,” Dr Adams said. “From the email Luke sent me this morning, I understand that you were prepared when he came out to you and your wife, but that Lucy’s coming out came as a shock to you?”

“Aye, that pretty much sums it up,” Paul replied. “We’d noticed for a while that- well, Luke had been unhappy with, you know, ‘his’ life, and we bought her- him a dress at Christmas, and the way he reacted, we- we knew something wasn’t right. Luke had always been a bit of a tomboy, and- well, you see trans people in the news all the time nowadays, and in every walk of life, so we put two and two together and this time, we actually got, well, four.”

“I will speak to you more about your reaction to their coming out later this afternoon, when we speak privately,” Dr Adams said. “But Luke and Lucy have asked me to bring you into the call as there are other, more physical aspects of them transitioning that you may not be aware of, and this information is usually better coming from a medical professional.”

“Wha- we’re not talking surgery, are we?” Paul said with obvious concern in his voice.

“Not immediately,” Dr Adams replied. “But in the short-term, hormone replacement therapy is an option for Luke and Lucy.”

“That’s a bit sudden, isn’t it?” Paul asked.

“It’s been six months,” Luke replied. “How much longer should we wait? We’re both certain about this, dad.”

“And I would not consider prescribing this treatment unless I felt it was necessary,” Dr Adams said. “And that they were both ready for it. There are still a few reassurances I need before I write the prescription though, so we're not there yet, but we are certainly heading in that direction.”

“Well- it’s still a big change, you know?” Paul said with clear concern in his voice. “Don’t you need to think about this, you two?”

“We HAVE thought about this,” Luke replied firmly. “Some days it’s all I can think about. How long should we keep thinking about it, anyway? Until we change our minds?”

“Well- no, of course not,” Paul mumbled in reply. “But if you choose to do this, it- I’m worried about, you know, side-effects, consequences…”

“All of which I will help Luke and Lucy through,” Dr Adams said softly. “Mr. Miller, it’s important- especially to Luke and Lucy- that you understand that this is not a whim, or some kind of game. Transitioning is serious, I won’t deny that, but so is your children’s desire to transition. They understand the consequences, and I will make sure that they are aware of any and all side-effects associated with HRT.”

“I hope you’ll appreciate that from my perspective, this is all extremely sudden,” Paul said with an air of resignation in his voice. Lucy bit her lip as she realised that when her father said 'sudden', he wasn't referring to the twin that he and her mother had spent 3 months waiting to come out.

“And I hope you’ll appreciate that from our perspective, we’ve had a whole lifetime of this,” Luke said, biting his lip and frowning as his father remained silent.

“I will speak to you in more detail about this later,” Dr Adams said softly. “But thank you for coming on the call today, Mr. Miller.”

“You’re welcome,” Paul mumbled. “Luke, Lucy- I’ll see you two next weekend, okay?”

“Okay,” the twins whispered, frowning as their father ended the call with a sigh.

“Well, that went about as well as expected,” Lucy sighed.

“It’s pretty clear he’s been taken by surprise by your announcement yesterday,” Dr Adams said calmly. “I’m sure that given time, he will adapt to the ‘new normal’.”

“He was surprised by MY announcement, at least,” Lucy snorted. “You could literally hear him cringe when I spoke for the first time.” Lucy’s frown deepened, but softened when her brother put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“Time will make things easier for all of you,” Dr Adams advised. “I’ve dealt with far too many transgender people who are simply abandoned by their parents the second they come out. And while I don’t deny that the call could have gone better, you at least have a good foundation on which to start building a new relationship with your parents.”

“But not grandparents,” Lucy mumbled.

“One step at a time,” Dr Adams advised. “But regardless of what your parents or grandparents think, they can’t prevent you from becoming the people you truly are inside. And if you wish to begin hormone replacement treatments, then I’m happy to start you on that path.”

“Definitely,” Lucy said confidently.

“100%,” Luke concurred, his excitement levels rising as the call continued.

After the call had ended, the twins had a plan of action set out in their minds. They would return to see their parents the following weekend, but as their true selves for the first time. They would make their parents understand the situation, then have their support as they tried to come out to their grandparents. A short while later, they would begin their hormone replacement treatments, and from there, their lives would only get better.

However, later that night, their lives- along with the lives of everyone in the country- would be turned upside down as they sat down in front of their television at precisely 8:30pm.

"Good evening," the prime minister said with a serious look on his face. "The coronavirus is the biggest threat this country has faced for decades– and this country is not alone. All over the world we are seeing the devastating impact of this invisible killer." The twins listened intently as the blond-haired man continued his speech, before their hearts- and the hearts of millions around the country- sank as they heard the words they'd dreaded to hear for weeks.

"From this evening," the prime minister said, "I must give the British people a very simple instruction- you must stay at home."

“…So now what?” Lucy asked.

Lucy blinked her eyes twice as she slowly woke from her slumber. As she took in her surroundings, she was momentarily confused- she wasn’t in her dorm in Durham, but rather in her old bedroom in her parents’ house in Newcastle. Her disorientation vanished, however, when she glanced at her chair- and, more importantly, the short denim skirt and tight grey t-shirt she’d worn the previous day. Worn openly, in front of both of her parents, with neither of them commenting or even batting an eyelid.

As she swung her smooth, hairless legs out of her bed, Lucy thought back to the Saturday exactly two weeks earlier, when her father had arrived at the front gate of Durham University to pick herself and her brother up. She thought about the anxiety she felt on that day, her ongoing uncertainty that she would truly be accepted by her parents and about the decision that she faced- a decision that her brother had found much easier.

“…So, are you gonna pick something or are you gonna go back to Newcastle in your pyjamas?” Luke had asked as Lucy, clad only in the shorts and camisole she wore to bed, stared into the travel case that was filled with skirts and dresses- HER skirts and dresses. Skirts and dresses that she’d worn all throughout her first year at university and that she’d have no problem wearing if it was an ordinary university day- which it most definitely wasn’t.

Even though she’d come out to her parents three months earlier, and even though they'd seemed to accept the fact that their son was now their daughter (and vice versa, which Lucy noted they had had an easier time accepting), Lucy had yet to fully ‘present’ herself to her parents, especially her father. Whenever they’d spoken on the telephone, she’d used her affected feminine voice, but always ended up lapsing back into a deeper tone, figuring that it would make her parents more comfortable. On the two occasions they’d met face to face, Lucy had worn a t-shirt and a pair of jeans- a girl’s t-shirt and girl’s jeans, but t-shirt and jeans nonetheless. None of those phone calls or meetings lasted for longer than two hours, but the looming summer break would last for far, far longer. Lucy and Luke were about to return to their homes for three months, and while she had the option of wearing girly jeans and a t-shirt throughout the break, Lucy knew that if she didn’t take the plunge and present herself ‘fully’ to her parents, she might never muster up the courage do so.

“…This one,” Lucy mumbled as she picked a plain knee-length denim skirt out of her drawer.

“You’re sure?” Luke asked gently. “’Cause I guess you could always wear jeans today and, like, the skirt tomorrow, or-“

“No,” Lucy interrupted. “If I don’t do this now, I- I- I might never, you know?”

“They’ve had three months to get used to the fact that you’re a girl,” Luke reminded his sister. “They’re expecting to see a girl.”

“Just like they did the last couple of times I saw them?” Lucy retorted.

“Well- well they were the warm-ups, the practices,” Luke said, before biting his lip. “Luce, you- you do still want to be a girl, don’t you?”

“Well- yeah, of course,” Lucy sighed. “Some days it’s all I can think of, even when I’m wearing make-up or a skirt. I just- ugh. I don’t want to be the 5’ 11” girl with a jaw like Mr Incredible, that’s all.”

“Hey, I’m 100% with you on this one,” Luke sighed. “Try being the shortest guy on the football team by a full 4 inches. Heh, when we were having our team photo taken Barnes actually suggested I should wear high heels to, like, make up for it. Took all of my willpower not to chin the twat then and there.”

“Ugh, I’m SO sorry to hear that,” Lucy sighed. “So, umm… what make-up d’you think I should wear?” The tall teenage girl grimaced as her brother regarded her with a withering stare. “Yes, yes, okay, I know, wrong person to ask…”

“WrongEST person to ask,” Luke retorted. “But in all seriousness, just wear what you feel most comfortable in. That’s what I’m doing. Though I will say that just ‘cause lockdown’s been ‘relaxed’ or whatever, it doesn’t mean we’re going to, like, hang out with anyone this summer.”

“Well- true, I guess,” Lucy sighed as she applied a light layer of mascara and eyeliner. “Sucks that we can’t even give Susie a lift back home. Hope we’ll get to at least see her over the holidays.”

“Aye, same goes for Gav,” Luke said. “I was hoping we’d be able to meet those friends of Priya’s, like, down in London? Guess THAT’s not happening now either…”

“Yeah, I was looking forward to that too,” Lucy sighed. “But- you know? This virus can’t go on forever, I’m sure we’ll get the chance to head down eventually, if not this year, then maybe next.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, before smiling sympathetically as his sister put the finishing touches to her look. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Lucy said, taking a deep breath before grabbing her travel cases and leading her brother out of the halls of residence and toward the car park.

With every step they took, the twins found themselves growing more and more nervous, finding it harder to fight the urge to return to the sanctity of their dorms. However, they continued to force themselves ever forward, only pausing as they caught sight of their father stood next to his car.

Lucy bit her lip nervously as she tried to gauge her father’s reaction to seeing her ‘fully’ as herself for the first time, her nerves only increasing as he remained stoic, unreadable. She found herself almost wishing that he would react angrily, or criticise her look, or anything to show that he at least acknowledged that she had changed- but no reaction was forthcoming. Lucy tried to console herself with the fact that he was at least implicitly, if not explicitly accepting her…

“H- hi dad,” Lucy said in a voice barely louder than a whisper as her father helped put her case into the boot.

“Hi Lu- Lucy,” Paul said with an obviously forced smile. “Hi Luke.”

“Hi dad,” Luke said. “Umm… good drive down here?”

“Aye, the roads were pretty quiet,” Paul replied. “No prizes for guessing why, heh.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled nervously as he climbed onto the back seat of the car, while his sister elegantly lowered herself onto the front passenger seat.

“So, umm…” Paul mumbled. “Have yas two got anything planned for the summer holidays?”

“Not really,” Lucy replied. “And no prizes for guessing why, like.”

“Well- aye, I suppose that’s true,” Paul said. “Just your luck that you’d have your first big summer break when there’s a worldwide pandemic going on, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a forced chuckle. “Umm, dad, you- you are, you know, okay with us-“

“Typical that it’d postpone the Euros and the Olympics as well,” Paul chuckled. “Still, at least the Toon will get the chance to finish off the season. Heh, I would offer to take ya to a match, Luke, but- yeah. Doesn’t look like THAT will happen any time soon either.”

“Guess not,” Luke mumbled. “Though I- I would have liked that.”

“I figure I’ve got nineteen years to catch up on, so- yeah,” Paul said with a heavy sigh.

“Me too,” Lucy said, frowning as an awkward silence filled the car.

“Well- aye, that’s true as well,” Paul conceded.

“Yep,” Lucy said, leading to another awkward silence that lasted until their return to Newcastle.

When the twins had returned home, they’d wasted no time in heading to their respective bedrooms and unpacking their suitcases. Both Luke and Lucy had felt an odd sense of apprehension as, following their father’s advice, they emptied their wardrobes of the clothing of their former genders and replaced it with the clothes they’d worn all throughout their time at university. While Luke had felt no regrets about ridding himself of the skirts and dresses he hardly ever wore anyway, Lucy felt sentimental as she discarded her old boy’s jeans and sweaters, musing that they were at least comfortable during winter, and wondering if it’d hurt if she kept the odd one or two items of clothing. However, she reasoned that in order for her transition to be taken seriously- especially by her parents and her counsellor- she had to prove that she was as committed to it as her brother was to his. After all, whatever they did, they did together- always.

Once the twins were settled in, they’d descended the stairs into the living room together, just as they’d done countless times in the past, but this time felt different- special, even.

“Now then,” Paul said hesitantly. “You’re both looking, umm, healthy.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered, frowning as yet another awkward silence fell over the family.

“So…” Paul said. “Do- are you two, you know, comfortable? Do yas need me to get you anything?”

“Honestly-“ Lucy replied, before sighing. “Honestly, dad, we get that you’re trying, and this is a lot for you to adjust to, to take in…”

“No, it’s your lives, what you want is what’s most important,” Paul said. “And it’s not like I haven’t had plenty of time to, like, get ready for it.”

“It’ll be normal enough before too long,” Luke said, trying to reassure his father.

“Well- aye, I hope so,” Paul sighed. “But I’m willing to try, and so’s your mam. She’ll tell you as much when she gets home from work.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered. “And to answer your earlier question, yes, yes we are comfortable. More comfortable than I’ve ever been, in fact.”

“Totally,” Luke concurred. “This IS who I was meant to be. As for anything you can get us… All we need is your support.”

“And your love,” Lucy whispered.

“Well- aye, you know you don’t need to ask me for that!” Paul chuckled. “And I suppose you’re right, it’ll be normal soon enough.”

As she mused on her memories of that first day, Lucy couldn't help but think of how, in the two weeks since their return to Newcastle, her parents had been true to their word in their promise to accept the twins in their new genders. However, she knew there was still a long way to go. Luke and Paul had bonded as they’d watched Newcastle United matches on the television, but Lucy and Sarah had yet to find a common interest to bond over- and worst of all, Lucy sensed that they missed their 'old' children- the boy that Lucy had been and the girl that Luke once was. Lucy knew- or at least, strongly suspected- that the bond that had existed would take a long time to rebuild.

However, with every passing day, the situation in the household became more and more normal, as Lucy observed when she padded downstairs in her lightweight dressing gown to find her parents and her brother already awake and eating breakfast.

“Morning!” Paul said with a cheery smile that Lucy tried her best to mirror.

“Morning,” Lucy replied as she grabbed a cup of coffee and a banana and sat down next to her brother.

“What have yas two got planned for today, then?” Paul asked. “I get there’s not much for yas to actually do right now, but your summer holiday will be over before ya know it, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Luke replied. “We can, like, meet up with people outside, so I might send a message to Susie and see if she wants to meet anywhere, I dunno.”

“Well- make sure you both have as much fun today as you can,” Paul said, before letting out a tired, nervous chuckle. “Especially as there are no part time jobs I can lean on you to apply for, heh. And…”

“…Yes?” Luke asked, frowning with confusion at his father’s hesitation before sighing. “Grandma and Grandpa are coming round, aren’t they?”

“…Yep,” Paul replied. “We’ve no’ seen them since the start of lockdown, and they- they said they wanted to see yas both, welcome you home from university… Hey. There’s no need to be pessimistic about this, I mean, it IS 2020, not 1920. Sure, they may be a bit set in their ways, but they’ll soon realise that they don’t get a say in this, and they WILL accept you. I will personally guarantee that.”

“Paul,” Sarah whispered quietly.

“When- when are they coming round?” Lucy asked as she felt her anxiety levels start to rise.

“This evening,” Paul replied. “I’m going to set up the barbecue, we’re going to have a couple of burgers, I’ll explain everything, I’ll introduce you, everything will be fine, I promise.”

“Paul, can we speak?” Sarah asked firmly, gesturing toward the kitchen as the twins looked on nervously.

“…Well, when you think about it, what’s the worst that can happen?” Lucy asked. “It’s not like we live with Grandma and Grandpa, we’ve not seen them in seven months and barely even noticed they weren't around.”

“Well- aye, I guess,” Luke sighed. “D’you really think it’s gonna go as easy as dad said it would, though?”

“It could,” Lucy replied. “I mean, they’ve spent the last four months being isolated, same as everyone else, maybe they’ve, you know, changed?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Luke snorted as he picked up his phone and began composing a text message. “I’m messaging Susie, in case you’re wondering, just seeing if she wants to do anything today.”

“Message Gav as well,” Lucy said. “He’s said that MS doesn’t make him higher risk for covid, so- yeah.”

“Will do,” Luke said. “Though I think we’re going to need cheering up tomorrow rather than today, heh.”

“So ask if they’re free today AND tomorrow,” Lucy shrugged. “Like dad said, we need to make sure we have as much fun as we can, right?”

“True,” Luke said, before pressing ‘send’ on his phone. “And I guess no matter what, we’ll be going back to Durham in September. Heh, unless the virus goes, like, nuclear or something…”

“Yeah, that’s optimistic,” Lucy chuckled, smirking as her brother gave her a gentle shove and their parents returned from the kitchen.

“Now then,” Paul said. “Have yas decided what ya gonna do today, had any response from your friends?”

“Not yet,” Luke replied. “Only just texted them, heh.”

“Fair enough,” Paul said with a shrug, before grimacing as another awkward silence filled the room.

“Anyway,” Sarah said, “Do you both know what time you’ll be home?”

“…Dunno what time we’ll be OUT yet,” Lucy replied with a nervous chuckle.

“Well, whenever you go or return, it’s important that yas don’t get too worked up about tonight,” Paul advised. “Whatever happens, you’ll still be waking up in this house tomorrow morning, and you- well…”

“I’ll still be a girl and Luke will still be a boy?” Lucy asked.

“…Aye, that,” Paul mumbled. "But everything will be fine, you'll see. You'll be back to having fun in no time, I guarantee it." As Luke opened his mouth to reply, his phone pinged to notify him of a new message- something that both father and son couldn't help but smirk at.

"...It's from Susie," Luke said. "She's free, can meet up anytime."

"See?" Paul asked with a smug grin. "What did I just say? Fun, just like yas should be having on your summer holiday. So, eat up, get dressed and go out and enjoy your summer!"

Luke and Lucy smiled as they obeyed their father's 'order', and while they both had every intention of enjoying the day, deep down inside, both felt almost overwhelmed by anxiety about the upcoming barbecue. However, they tried their hardest to put those thoughts to the back of their minds, something that was made easier when they headed to the city centre and saw the smiling face of their flame-haired friend.

“Hey guys!” Susie said, smiling sadly as the twins waved and sat down on an adjacent bench, making sure to maintain the mandated two metre distance between them. “Feels like ages since we last saw each other, heh.”

“Ugh, I know what you mean,” Lucy sighed as she smoothed the skirt of her short summer dress while Luke adjusted his baggy jeans. “How’s things at home?”

“Cramped,” Susie snorted. “With me and mam there all the time… heh. Made me remember why I was so desperate to move away to uni, heh.”

“Is your mam furloughed, then?” Luke asked, smiling sympathetically as his friend nodded.

“So’s our dad,” Lucy sighed. “Our mam’s still going into work full-time, as she, like, works for Tesco.”

“But neither of your parents got the dreaded ‘rona, though?” Susie asked, smiling as the twins both shook their heads.

“It’s pretty silly that we can’t sit any closer together, as none of us obviously have it,” Luke snorted.

“Aye, but the point is, we might, you know, ‘not obviously’ have it,” Susie retorted. “Like, I was talking to Rick from the LGBT society not long ago, he said he felt fine all throughout lockdown, but one week near the start he just randomly lost his sense of smell and taste. Didn’t feel ill otherwise and just kept carrying on as normal, but- yeah. Almost certain to have been, well- yeah.”

“And we were hanging out with him same as always,” Lucy mused. “Ugh, can we- can we talk about something a little more, you know, upbeat?”

“More upbeat than the literal plague?” Susie asked, earning a chuckle from her friends. “Ah, can probably manage that, heh. What’ve you two got planned for tonight?” Susie frowned with confusion as her friends’ demeanours suddenly darkened. “…What?”

“We’ve told you before about our grandparents, haven’t we?” Lucy asked.

“Aye, you have,” Susie replied, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “Are you seeing them this weekend?”

“Heh, tonight actually,” Lucy replied. “Haven’t felt this nervous since- heh.”

“Since we first came out to our parents,” Luke chuckled, sensing what his sister was thinking.

“And- and that went okay, didn’t it?” Susie asked. “And- and I don’t mean this, like, disrespectfully, but- but are your grandparents, you know, all that- all that important? Like, in the grand scheme of things sort of way.”

“What do you mean?” Lucy asked.

“Well, like, my grandma died when I was thirteen,” Susie replied. “But I always remember her sneering whenever someone like Alan Carr or Graham Norton was on the TV, and- yeah. I know she wouldn’t approve of my, well, ‘preferences’, but you know what? I really couldn’t care less. It’s my life, not hers.”

“Well- yeah, I get that, but- ugh,” Luke spat. “I know, like, logically there’s nothing they can do. We’re adults, it’s our lives, but- yeah. There’s always, like, the paranoia, that our parents might choose them over us, or Grandpa might get violent…”

“How much can a seventy-plus guy do against two fit teenagers?” Susie asked rhetorically. “And I’ve met your parents, don’t forget. Think you’ve got nowt to worry about for that first thing either.”

“Well, fingers crossed,” Lucy chuckled nervously.

“Either way, I’ll make sure I’m free all tonight in case yas both need to chat,” Susie said with a warm grin. “Meantime, I’m starving! Shall we try to find somewhere that sells food that’s actually open?”

“Aye, sounds good to me,” Lucy replied. “Though we’ll probably only have a little bit to eat, dad’s having a barbecue later, like, when our grandparents come round.”

“Assuming we’ll still have an appetite,” Luke snorted as the three teenagers headed to a nearby food vendor.

After eating lunch and saying goodbye to Susie, the twins returned home, where they attempted to while away the afternoon with a combination of reading, television and videogames. However, no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their minds off of the impending evening, and when they heard their father fire up the barbecue, both Luke and Lucy’s nerves started to jangle- especially when their father called out to them mere seconds later.

“Luke!” Paul shouted from the back garden. “D’you want to give us a hand out here?” The twins looked at each other uncertainly as they processed their father’s request.

“…He’d better have meant you,” Lucy said with a shrug as her brother nodded and strolled out onto the patio.

“Can you get out those baps please?” Paul asked, gesturing to the packet of bread rolls on the garden table, before grimacing at his double entendre. “Ah- umm, like- I mean-“

“The bread,” Luke interrupted, before separating and opening up the baps. “Yeah, I know.”

“…For what it’s worth, your bro- your sister would probably have been in hysterics at that joke,” Paul mumbled.

“Yeah, I doubt it,” Luke snorted. “And you- were you expecting to see her instead of me?”

“No I was NOT,” Paul insisted, though Luke sensed from his body language that he wasn't being entirely truthful. “Your name is Luke, that means YOU are my son. Not your br- your sister.” Smooth, Luke thought to himself.

“…Right,” Luke mumbled. “What- what time will they be here?”

“Not long, a few minutes probably,” Paul replied. “And do. Not. Worry. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

“Yeah, right,” Luke snorted.

“Honestly, you’re getting all worked up over nothing,” Paul said, smiling as he heard a car pull up outside his house. “And speaking of…”

As Luke was helping their father with the barbecue, Lucy remained on the sofa, idly flicking through her phone and not even noticing the car pulling up outside their home. However, seconds later, a noise reverberated through the house that nearly made her drop her phone in shock.

“HE DID WHAT!?” The unmistakable sound of the twins’ grandfather bellowed from the rear of the garden. Lucy strained to hear what her father was saying in reply, but his voice was indistinct, especially when compared to the older man's rage.

“AND YA JUST LET THEM!?” Derek yelled. “CLEARLY I DIDN’T CLOUT YA HARD ENOUGH WHEN YA WERE A KID!” Lucy felt her blood chill at her grandfather's words and immediately felt terrified for her brother, who was no doubt also feeling the brunt of their grandfather's rage. Lucy remembered the promise that she and Luke had made to each other- that whatever they did, they did together, always- but as hard as she tried, she found herself unable to rise from the sofa to join her brother in the garden. In her mind, Lucy was 6 years old again, coming down the stairs wearing her sister’s party dress and being yelled at by her grandfather. The difference was that back then, it was a game, whereas in the present, it was Lucy’s life- and back then, her grandfather ultimately apologised for his outburst, whereas in the present, Lucy knew he would never forgive her this time.

Lucy only moved from the sofa when she heard her grandparents’ car drive away, and when she entered the garden, she was unsurprised to find her father stood at his barbecue with a sad, faraway look on his face, while her brother was hunched over with his back to her.

“D- dad?” Lucy whispered.

“So,” Paul said in a dark, sombre voice. “I may- I may have been a bit, well, optimistic… yeah. Don’t suppose you’ve still got much of an appetite, then?”

“Not really,” Lucy mumbled, her stomach churning at the sight of the meat that was ready to be grilled. “L- Luke? Are you okay?”

“I- I’m gonna go back inside,” Luke mumbled, pulling away from his sister’s arms as she went to hug him, leaving Lucy and Paul alone in an awkward silence.

“…Seems a shame to let all this food go to waste,” Paul said hesitantly. “D- d’you want to text Susie and Gavin, see if they want to come round for a, like, socially distanced barbecue?”

“I- I dunno,” Lucy mumbled.

“I just- I just figured you could use some the company of some friends right-“ Paul said, before pausing as his daughter leaned in for a hug- a hug Paul was only too happy to reciprocate.

As he laid on his bed in his room trying not to cry, Luke replayed the confrontation with his grandfather over and over in his mind. His grandparents had had wide grins on their faces as they arrived, and even the sight of him in plain jeans and a t-shirt- boys’ jeans and a baggy t-shirt- hadn’t drawn any notice from them. All that had changed, though, when Luke’s father began his explanation. The anger in the old man’s eyes, along with the speed with which his mood changed, was immediately and irreversibly seared onto Luke's memory. However, like his twin, what stuck in his mind the most was what the old man had said to their father- 'that he should have clouted him harder'.

Luke closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of the stress he felt from the confrontation, but as hard as he tried, his anxiety levels only grew, and the knock that came from his bedroom door did nothing to help.

“I’m not hungry,” the distraught young man mumbled.

“Luke?” The gentle voice on the other side of the door asked. “It’s Lucy, can I come in?” Luke paused and let out a long sigh, before sitting up on the edge of his bed.

“…Sure,” Luke sighed, forcing a smile on his face as his twin sat down next to him and smoothed her short summer dress over her legs.

“Hey,” Lucy whispered.

“H- hey,” Luke mumbled.

“I- I’m sorry,” Lucy mumbled, her cheeks reddening with shame.

“What for?” Luke snorted. “You didn’t do anything…”

“Yeah, that- that’s the point,” Lucy sighed. “I didn’t, but I should’ve. If I’d gone out into the garden when I heard Grandpa shouting-“

“Things probably would’ve been worse,” Luke interrupted. “And not because of anything that was your fault. Lucy, did- did you hear what Grandpa said to dad?” Luke bit his lip and frowned as his sister solemnly nodded her head, her cheeks reddening further. Unable to say anything further, the twins simply leaned into each other for a long, tight hug.

“D- dad says we can invite Susie and Gav around if we want,” Lucy said. “To, like, eat all the meat instead of letting it go to waste.”

“Isn’t Gav vegetarian?” Luke asked, smiling as his sister giggled.

“…Just Susie then,” Lucy laughed. “I think we both need some company right now.”

“I’ve got all the company I NEED right now,” Luke said with a sad smile that his sister mirrored. “Though you can never…”

“…Have too many friends!” Lucy giggled, before sighing. “We- we should go downstairs, I mean, dad got it just as bad as we did, right?”

“Worse,” Luke whispered in reply, letting out a sad sigh of his own as he and his sister got off his bed and headed downstairs to the barbecue, where their parents were talking.

“Hi you two!” Paul said, sporting a smile that the twins could immediately tell was forced. “Have you texted your friends, Lucy?”

“Umm, not yet,” Lucy replied. “I’ll text Susie, Gavin, he- he’s vegetarian, so probably not interested in a barbecue, heh.”

“Heh, good job he didn’t come round while your grandparents were here, then,” Paul chuckled nervously. “Gay AND vegetarian? Heh…”

“Dad, are- are you okay?” Lucy asked, grimacing as her father briefly paused and a faraway look spread across his face. That look, though, was quickly replaced by the same insincere grin he'd sported earlier.

“Oh- aye, I’m fine!” Paul chuckled. “How are the two of you?”

“Been better,” Luke mumbled in reply, making his father pause yet again.

“I- I’ll talk to your grandparents,” Paul said gently. “It was probably just a shock for him, I’m sure that if I give him time, he’ll- well…”

“…Yeah,” Luke said, unconvinced by his father’s optimism. “Dad, don’t forget that I saw just how angry he was.”

“L- like I said, probably just came as a sock- shock, whatever…” Paul mumbled as he turned his attention back to his cooking. “Let’s just eat, then yas can put this behind ya for now- like, yas can get back to enjoying your holiday, like?”

“Sure,” Lucy whispered, though her stomach continued to churn with worry- not just for herself and her brother, but for her father too.

The family sat down to eat their dinner in the garden a short while later, with Susie joining later that evening. After the five had eaten, and while Paul and Sarah were clearing away the remnants of the meal, Susie took the opportunity to speak to the twins, having sensed their tension from the moment she had arrived.

“Hey you two,” the ginger-haired girl said with a sympathetic smile. “I- I’m guessing things didn’t go great this afternoon, then?”

“Is it THAT obvious?” Lucy mumbled.

“Well, I figure part of the reason I’m here is to cheer you both up,” Susie replied with a quiet chuckle. “Which I’m always happy to do, by the way. And I figured if your grandparents were, you know, okay, they’d have been here eating with the rest of us…”

“…I keep forgetting how smart you are,” Luke said with a snort of laughter. “The only positive about the afternoon is they didn’t stick around long, just a couple of minutes then they threw a massive tantrum and buggered off.”

“They also didn’t actually SEE me,” Lucy mumbled. “God knows how much worse THAT would have made things.”

“Ugh, I really, REALLY wish I could just give you both a hug right now,” Susie sighed. “Stupid covid- in general, I mean, I’ve not got it, like, but- yeah.”

“I dunno, it would’ve been a million times worse if we’d been inside,” Luke chuckled. “But I do appreciate the offer, heh.”

“I just wish there was more I could do to support you guys,” Susie said.

“Well, it’s not like we haven’t had our wins over the last year,” Lucy shrugged. “We’re here as the gender we really are, our parents have accepted us, uni has accepted us- for the most part, anyway…”

“And we- all of us- have a bigger circle of friends,” Susie said. “Still doesn’t mean you should accept being yelled at by OAPs who should know better.”

“Well- aye, that’s definitely true,” Lucy chuckled.

“I guess what they say is true, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends,” Luke said with a sad smile.

“I dunno, not ALL of my family is a pain,” Lucy said with a giggle as she wrapped an arm around her brother’s shoulder.

“And we’ll be back with all our friends in a few weeks’ time, and you’ll be able to put this summer far behind you,” Susie advised.

“Well- the first part is true,” Luke sighed. “Gonna be a while before I can put all of THIS behind me…”

Susie stayed chatting with Luke and Lucy for another fifteen minutes, after which the twins headed back inside and straight up to Luke’s bedroom, where the young man flopped down onto his bed while his sister took a seat in the corner of the room.

“…Well, today sucked,” Luke moaned. “Not like it was never going to, but- yeah.”

“But on the plus side, we’re never going to have to do that again,” Lucy said. “Grandma and Grandpa now know, even if they don’t approve, so we can tell Dr Adams, and maybe, you know, take one step further toward HRT?” Luke allowed himself a smile at the prospect- both he and Lucy had talked extensively with their counsellor about beginning hormone treatments, and the prospect of developing muscle mass and growing facial hair greatly appealed to him. As did the prospect of not having to wear his uncomfortable chest binder- or worse yet, a bra- or having 'monthly problems' either.

“Aye, that’s true, I guess,” Luke said. “Really feel bad for dad, though. Like, he’s going to be right in the middle of things now, right?”

“Aye, that’s true,” Lucy sighed. “But we didn’t choose to be transgender. Grandma and Grandpa DID choose to be transphobic. Remember what Jamie-Lee Burke said once, on an episode of the Angels? We shouldn’t have to change who we are, or pretend to be someone we’re not just to make bigoted bullies feel better about themselves. We should be proud of who we are.” Lucy bit her lip as she awaited her brother's response, wondering whether he'd agree or be as sceptical as she secretly felt about her words.

“Easy to say when you’ve not got someone literally shouting in your face,” Luke mumbled, before frowning. “Ugh, but- but you ARE right. I’m not proud of, like, potentially breaking the family apart.”

“Yeah, but it’s not US who did that, is it?” Lucy retorted, smiling as the frown slowly disappeared from her brother’s face.

“They won’t see it that way, though,” Luke mused.

“Their problem, not ours,” Lucy said firmly. “If I want to wear this dress, I will. And I do. And, well, I am.”

“Same,” Luke said, before snorting with laughter. “Well, opposite, but same. And you’re right, but it- it’s going to be difficult, the next few weeks, you know?”

“Aye,” Lucy said softly. “But whatever we do, however we face it, we do it together, right?”

“Aye,” Luke said with a wide grin. “Always.”

The twins spent the rest of the evening trying to relax by watching TV, playing videogames and browsing through their friends' social media. However, as hard as they tried to put the events of the afternoon behind them, they were forced to acknowledge the fact that their family had been damaged, possibly irreparably- and not just for them, but for their mother and especially their father as well. Neither Luke nor Lucy got much sleep that night.

The following morning, the twins didn’t get up until long after their parents had, having been awakened by the sound of the television coming from the living room. Both Luke and Lucy reluctantly climbed out of their beds and headed downstairs wrapped in their dressing gowns, smiling sympathetically when they saw their father sat on the sofa with a wide grin on his face.

“Morning!” Paul said. “Ya mam’s gone out to the shops so help yourselves to breakfast, we’ve still got plenty of meat from last night but if you want to save that for lunch, I’ll understand.”

“Thanks,” Luke mumbled, while Lucy sat down opposite her father.

“Dad,” Lucy whispered. “Are- are you okay? After yesterday, I mean-“

“Aye, I’m fine,” Paul replied, before sighing and smiling. “I’ll talk to ya Grandpa in a bit, now that he’s had a chance to sleep on it a bit, he- heh. He’s just a bit old-fashioned, but it- it’s nothing you need to worry about. You shouldn’t let anyone else tell you how to live your lives, you and Lucy. Not even me or your mam.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled, consciously choosing not to correct her father's use of her brother's deadname even as Luke frowned.

“So,” Paul said, smiling as his son returned from the kitchen. “What do the two of you have planned for today? Heh- never mind, I think I can guess. How about… what WOULD the two of you have had planned for today if it wasn’t for this bloody virus?”

“Umm… I dunno, really,” Luke replied with a shrug.

“Our friend Priya was talking last year about introducing us to her friends in London,” Lucy mused. “I think a few of them are transgender, she wanted to introduce us, like, get us a bit more of a support group, sort of thing.”

“Aye, I can see how that’d be good for the two of you,” Paul nodded. “You can’t chat to them over the internet, then?”

“Well- aye, I suppose we could,” Lucy shrugged. “Not the same, though, really.”

“Better than nothing though, surely?” Paul suggested. “And you- you should have as much fun as you can. When you’ll be working, you’ll only get 4 weeks’ holiday for the whole year, never mind 3 months at summer!”

“Not sure it’ll make much of a difference if we’re not allowed to go anywhere,” Luke snorted. “But- aye, you’re right. I’ll send a message round to everyone, see if anyone’s up for, like, a group chat today or something.”

“Meaning I should probably get dressed and put some make-up on,” Lucy said, biting her lip as her father nodded, while fidgeting awkwardly in his seat.

“A- aye,” Paul said. “But- but maybe get some breakfast first?” The middle-aged man smiled as his daughter nodded, before fidgeting again and biting his lip as he was left alone with his son. “So, umm…”

“Y- yeah,” Luke said between sips of his coffee. “Dad, are- are you alright?”

“Aye, I told you, I’m fine,” Paul replied, though his discomfort was obvious to his son. “Are YOU okay? I- I know yesterday must’ve been a bit, you know, difficult…”

“I’ll be fine,” Luke said, before frowning as an awkward silence filled the room. “Dad, umm, did- were you and Grandpa, you know- did you do much together as a kid? Like, as father and son?”

“Well- aye, I suppose,” Paul replied with a shrug. “It was the late seventies, early eighties, there weren’t any smartphones, no internet, even the best videogame machines moved at, like, one frame per second… So, yeah, we went fishing together, went to matches at St James' Park, why- why do you ask?”

“Oh, it- it’s nothing, just curious,” Luke mumbled, his cheeks reddening as his father smiled.

“Feeling a bit like you’ve missed out?” Paul asked softly. “I get that, I mean, all the time I spent with Luk- with Lucy when h- she was younger, all the time you spent with ya mam… If ya want- if you want to, like, make up for lost time, when things start reopening, we can always, you know, go fishing or something.”

“That- that could be nice,” Luke said, forcing a smile on his face even as he was frustrated that he didn’t get an answer to what he really wanted to know about his father and grandfather but had been too afraid to ask. Luke found himself wanting to open up to his father and vice versa, but was confronted by the unavoidable thought that such a desire might be considered unmanly- which was the last thing that Luke wanted to feel following the previous day's confrontation.

While her father and brother talked, Lucy showered and pulled on a similar light dress to the one she'd worn the previous day, before applying a light layer of foundation, followed by some eyeliner and mascara- though even that subtle look felt like a full face mask to the young woman. When she returned to the living room, she discovered that her brother had returned to his bedroom, but her mother had returned and was unloading shopping in the kitchen.

“Need a hand?” Lucy asked her mother.

“Aye, please,” Sarah replied. “If ya can get the frozen stuff away first.”

“Sure,” Lucy mumbled, biting her lip as all the questions that she wanted to ask her mother raced around her mind- questions about how she felt now that Lucy was her daughter, not her son, and how she felt about Luke’s transition. Most of all, though, Lucy found herself wanting to ask her mother what she expected of Lucy- both as a daughter and a woman, and what advice she had for her new daughter. For as long as she could remember, Lucy had fantasised about being a woman, but when the fantasy became a reality, she found her life had only become more complicated. Lucy desperately wanted the support of her mother- but from her perspective, it seemed like her mother was only doing the bare minimum to support her daughter.

With the shopping put away, Lucy returned upstairs, where once again, she convened with her brother in his bedroom. Despite her own inner conflict, Lucy smiled sympathetically as she discovered Luke sprawled out his bed.

“You okay?” Lucy asked softly.

“Meh, better than I was yesterday evening,” Luke replied. “I dunno. Dad seems to be in complete denial about everything.”

“Yeah, mam too, but in a different way,” Lucy sighed. “I just wish I knew what they were REALLY thinking. Heh, maybe not to the same extent as Grandpa, but- yeah.”

“Can’t fault the old bastard for his honesty, at least,” Luke snorted. “Meh, but like you said yesterday, it- it’s done now, no sense being all paranoid about it. As for mam and dad, it- like, if the virus wasn’t messing everyone around, we’d be spending more time with Susie, Gav and everyone else, we probably wouldn’t be around them all the time, so- yeah.”

“Blame everything on covid?” Lucy asked with a chuckle.

“It’s what everyone else is doing,” Luke said with a tired chuckle. “Like I was just telling dad, I was really looking forward to meeting Priya’s friends in London this summer, but that ain’t happening now, heh.”

“Guess not,” Lucy said with a sad chuckle.

“Though I did send Priya a message to see if she fancies a group chat later, so- yeah, maybe,” Luke sighed. “Like dad said, internet chats are better than nothing, I guess.”

“He’s not wrong there,” Lucy mused. “And I- I suppose we’ve got to give him some credit, like, this can’t be easy for him but it’s obvious he’s, like, got our backs.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re having a harder time of it than he is,” Luke snorted, before letting out a long, tired sigh. “Ugh, I dunno. Fancy some Call of Duty?”

“Nah, if I play any more videogames I think my hands will permanently claw up,” Lucy chuckled. “Might go for a run later if you feel like it?”

“Will let you know,” Luke replied, letting out a long sigh as he switched on his PlayStation 4 and started playing.

Less than an hour later, though, the twins’ mood changed when Luke received a reply from Priya to his earlier text message. Luke and Lucy both had wide, excited smiles on their faces as they booted up the former’s laptop and logged into Zoom, where they were quickly greeted by the smiling face of their Indian friend- and a nearly identical-looking face cuddling her from behind.

“Hi you two!” Priya said, before sighing with resignation as her lookalike planted herself in her lap and gave her another long, tight hug. “Luke, Lucy, this is my sister Suri, Suri, this is Luke and Lucy, please stop being a pain."

“Hi!” Suri said to the twins, who giggled and waved in reply. “Don’t mind me, I’m just getting in some Priya time before she heads back to the Arctic Circle.”

“The ‘Arctic Circle’ that’s actually south of where we normally live?” Luke replied, smirking as Suri giggled nervously. “Ah, it’s okay, I’m just pulling your leg.”

“Normally she’d be on her own laptop,” Priya explained, “but our parents are both furloughed so they’re wanting to cut down the electricity bill as much as possible.”

“Meh, understandable, I guess,” Lucy said. "Our dad's furloughed too, and he- yeah..." Lucy tried not to grimace as she remembered the previous day's confrontation, especially as she didn't want to burden her friends with the knowledge of what had happened.

“I’m going to add everyone else into the call now,” Priya said, smiling in an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Luke, just so you’re forewarned, this call might get a little girl heavy, heh!”

“Meh, I’m okay with that,” Luke replied. “You can never have too many friends, right?”

“Hell yeah!” Suri giggled as other faces filled the screen, including the one that Lucy was hoping to speak to the most.

“Hi girlies!” The gentle voice of Laura Ruddock said as her immaculately made-up face appeared on screen, making Lucy tingle with excitement at the prospect of talking to another girl in the same circumstances as her. As she smiled, though, Lucy suddenly felt a knot in her stomach.

While she’d seen pictures and videos of Laura before on places like Instagram or TikTok, Lucy had always viewed them in the context of having been staged, of having been a performance put on for the camera- she knew that Laura was a budding actress, after all. However, when she finally saw Laura in a natural, candid environment, Lucy was astonished by how effortlessly feminine she was. Had Lucy not known beforehand that Laura was transgender, she would never have suspected that Laura was anything other than 100% female, and the more she looked at the blonde girl’s face on her screen, the more inadequate Lucy felt. Unlike her, Laura didn’t have a wide, masculine chin, a bulky, muscular chest or even a prominent Adam’s apple. Lucy tried to console herself with the knowledge that Laura had been transitioning for almost seven years, while Lucy had yet to hit one year and hadn't even started HRT yet, but one question refused to leave her mind- ‘how am I ever meant to live up to this example?'.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Luke and Lucy, my friends from university!” Priya said with a wide grin as the twins nervously waves.

“Ah, so YOU’RE Luke and Lucy?” Laura asked with a giggle. “Finally, we get to chat, hehe!”

“Y- yep!” Lucy replied, giggling nervously as other faces joined the chat.

“Ah, about time, Miss Moore!” Priya teased one of the new faces, a girl with blonde pigtails and freckles, who sighed and rolled her eyes at the teasing.

“Yeah, well, some of us don’t break up for another week,” the newcomer retorted. “Who are the new faces?”

“Ashley, this is Luke and Lucy, the twins from Durham I told you about,” Priya replied, bringing a wide grin to the newcomer’s face.

“Ah, finally, I thought we’d never get to meet!” Ashley said with a giggle that Lucy tried her hardest to mirror.

Like with Laura, Lucy had learned much about Ashley from Priya’s stories and following her on Instagram and TikTok. And even though Ashley wasn’t a budding actress, Lucy had assumed that her social media 'appearance' had been as staged as Laura's- but her appearance on the video chat was just as effortlessly feminine as Laura’s, even though she’d been transitioning for less time. The fact that it was still more time than Lucy had been transitioning did little to ease her anxiety.

“It- it’s nice to meet you,” Lucy mumbled as her cheeks started to redden.

“And don’t worry, I’ve already explained to Luke that he’s probably going to be a bit outnumbered on this call, heh!” Priya giggled.

“I can always call up Ian, see if he’s free if you’d like?” Laura offered.

“Maybe- maybe later,” Luke chuckled. “Kinda, you know, want to get to know everyone first- but like I just said, you can never have too many friends, right?”

“Hell yeah!” One of the other girls on the call cheered, making both the twins grin as they were introduced to the wider group and vice versa.

The ten teenagers spent the next hour talking about their lives in Newcastle, London and at university in Durham. Eventually, other matters meant that the teenagers started to gradually drop off the call, eventually leaving just Lucy, Laura and Ashley. Lucy tried to maintain control of her anxiety as she conversed with her two fellow trans girls, but despite their friendliness, she still felt like the odd one out. Much to her frustration, she found that this feeling was even more profound than when she was the only trans girl in the room, like at her university's street dance class.

“Okay,” Laura said commandingly, her genuine smile widening. “Now that we’re alone, Lucy, feel free to ask any ‘sensitive’ questions you want, I promise me and Ash won’t be offended. Though before we begin, I just have one question- for you, Ash. WHY are you wearing purple lipstick, glittery eyeshadow and have your hair in pigtails?”

“Because one of my sisters is seven years old, another one is nine years old, they’re stuck indoors the same as us and have enough excess energy to light the whole of London for a month,” Ashley replied, before sharing a giggle with her friend. “Besides, I look K-Y-O-O-T cute, don’t I?”

“So cute,” Laura giggled. “Ah- sorry, Lucy, I just had to know, hehe!”

“No, that- that’s fair enough,” Lucy chuckled nervously. “Do- umm, do you have a lot of sisters then, Ashley?”

“Four, and one brother,” Ashley replied. “All younger, as well as seven and nine I’ve got another sister who’s fourteen, a brother who’s four and a baby sister who’s one.”

“And I’ve got an older brother who’s twenty-seven,” Laura interjected, “and a sister- well, technically stepsister but legally half-sister- who’s thirteen. How about you, Lucy? Any siblings other than Luke?”

“Umm, nope, just him,” Lucy replied with a smile.

“Ah, it must be cool, though, to have someone who can be THAT close to you?” Ashley asked. “And who knows what you’re going through, like, with your transition?”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” Lucy replied. “We sometimes say that we’re on the same journey, just heading in opposite directions.”

“Heh, I like that!” Laura giggled. “Kinda feel a bit guilty I’ve had such a, like, ‘head start’ on my journey now, as I’ve been transitioning since I was eleven.”

“It doesn’t matter when you make the journey, though,” Ashley mused. “Just that you make it. And you’re sure that it’s the right journey for you.”

“Which I know I’ve never doubted,” Laura said with a wistful smile. “Anyway, sorry Lucy, like I said, any questions about transitioning, no matter how sensitive, please ask.”

“This includes about SRS,” Ashley interjected. “Which Laura was meant to be having this year- right now in fact, heh.”

“Thank you very much co-bloody-vid,” Laura snorted.

“Yeah, I- I think I’m about as far from SRS as it’s possible to get,” Lucy chuckled. “I’m not even on hormones yet…”

“Really?” Ashley asked. “That- that does surprise me, like, ‘cause I’ve been taking them for over a year now and you- yeah. Wouldn’t be able to tell, honestly.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled bashfully. “I think the make-up is doing most of the heavy lifting though, heh.”

“Umm, hello?” Ashley asked, gesturing to her own heavily made-up face before giggling. “Ah, doesn’t matter either way, heh. You know you’re a girl on the inside, so it doesn’t- or at the very least, shouldn’t matter what you look like on the outside.”

“Even if making the outside cute is always a LOT of fun,” Laura giggled. “Needless to say, if you need any fashion or make-up tips, we’re also here to help.”

“Including advice on, like, ‘tucking’, or hiding your Adam’s apple,” Ashley said, before grimacing as Lucy unconsciously lowered her chin to disguise her throat. “Oh- umm, not like, you know, yours is- well…”

“It- it’s okay,” Lucy said. “I mean, I’m 5’ 11”, I’ve got a rugby player's chest, I- I know I’m never going to, you know, ‘properly’ pass. Heh, I sometimes feel like a hippo at street dance, especially next to tiny girls like Priya and Claudia.”

“Okay, well, you know Megan, the girl with glasses who was on the call with us?” Laura retorted, waiting for Lucy to nod before continuing. “She’s three inches taller than you and has a 42-inch chest. Didn’t stop her from being great at ballet.”

“Or a gorgeous, feminine woman,” Ashley concurred. “Don’t ever think that you can’t make it, Lucy, or that it’s not worth the effort, because it is. This is a journey, but it’s not a race.”

“Totally,” Laura said, smiling sympathetically as her new friend chuckled, even though on the inside, Lucy was far from convinced. Despite Ashley's reassurance about transitioning not being a race, Lucy wondered if she'd ever get off the starting line...

Lucy spent the next twenty minutes taking Laura and Ashley up on their offer, peppering them with questions on all topics- HRT, advice on how to pass in public and even their experiences at their dance classes. With her head buzzing from the information she received, Lucy ended the call with a promise to stay in touch with the other girls, before heading downstairs to find her brother sat cross-legged on the sofa, browsing through his phone with a smile on his face.

“Hey Luce!” Luke said with a grin. “Good chat with Laura and Ashley?”

“Umm, yeah,” Lucy chuckled as she sat down next to her brother.

“I dunno about you, but I DEFINITELY needed that after yesterday, heh,” Luke chuckled. “Laura gave me a link to her friend Ian’s Facebook, I’ve already sent him a friend request, and he looks like a pretty cool guy from his Facebook wall. Hopefully I’ll get to chat to him next time- not that I minded being in a chat with eight girls, heh! Oh- sorry, NINE girls, heh. Well, eight girls and my sister, anyway!”

“Yeah,” Lucy giggled. “You- you’re looking, you know, happier than yesterday, like?”

“I’m definitely feeling happier,” Luke said. “I- I dunno. Maybe it’s because- and I don’t mean anything bad by this, I really don’t, but- but talking to someone else who trans, but other than you, like, has made me think that, you know, we’re not as ‘wrong’ as people like Grandma and Grandpa make us out to be? That, and you know that what Laura went through is, like, a million times worse than what we had to endure yesterday.”

“Well- I guess,” Lucy said. “Doesn’t make what happened yesterday and less unpleasant, though.”

“Oh, I agree, and I imagine Laura would as well,” Luke mused. “But still, you know? I just introduced myself to seven total strangers, said ‘I am a boy, end of story’, and they didn’t question it for one second. And you did the same thing, only replace ‘boy’ with ‘girl’, right?”

“Well- aye, that’s true,” Lucy replied with a giggle, and while she consciously agreed with her brother’s words, on the inside her confidence had been dented.

Despite Laura and Ashley’s assurances, Lucy knew that she would never be able to ‘pass’ as well as either of them- or even as well as her own brother. She tried to allay her fears by rationalising that she was yet to start HRT and that she'd undoubtedly feel better when she did, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard she tried, she would always be just a boy pretending to be a girl. The encounter with her grandparents had only strengthened that belief, and despite their best efforts, so had the talk with her new friends. Lucy tried to put her fears to the back of her mind- after all, she thought, she could wake up the following day feeling more eager than ever to be the girl she felt she was. And whatever she did, she’d do it together with her brother- always. At least, that's what she hoped…

Luke grunted as his phone’s alarm woke him from a deep sleep. His mouth was dry and his head throbbed, but what concerned him most was that he didn't recognise his surroundings, particularly the feel of his bed- the mattress was much stiffer than his usual one, the pillow and the sheets thinner than what he was accustomed to. As his eyes started to focus, he was able to take in his surroundings. In his room, in addition to his bed, there was a wardrobe, a desk, his laptop, a large poster bearing the crest of Newcastle United FC… and best of all, his university hoodie, hastily dumped on the back of the chair from where he’d thrown it the previous night. A smile slowly crept across the young trans man’s face as he silenced his alarm and rolled out of bed, stretching his tired muscles as he stared at himself in the mirror on his wardrobe. After what had felt like an eternity, he was back where he wanted to be- at university, and best of all, among his friends. He’d survived the summer break and had come out of it feeling stronger than before- however, as he retrieved the elastic bandage from his chair and wrapped it around his chest, he was reminded that he still had a long way to go.

As Luke was waking up, just a few metres down the corridor, Lucy was already awake and starting her day. The young trans woman let out a sad, tired sigh as she ran her hand over the fine layer of stubble that covered her cheeks- as well as her arms, her chest and her legs. As she removed the unwanted hair, Lucy thought back to her own summer holiday- specifically, the way that she, as far as she was concerned, had caused a rift in their family.

Lucy was under no illusion that it was her transition, rather than her brother’s, which had caused her grandfather to react the way he did. She was certain that that if he had seen her dressed the way she’d been, that she’d have had to bear the full brunt his anger, whether that meant harsh words- or even worse. All throughout the summer, Lucy had been forced to ask herself one question: was it worth it? Was it worth enduring the anger of her grandfather, the fear of being exposed, or insulted, or humiliated just for the privilege of being able to wear a skirt instead of a pair of jeans? Lucy was convinced that the answer was an unqualified ‘yes’, but as summer went on, she found herself questioning her resolve.

However, the summer break had finally come to an end, and as she thought about the previous night, Lucy remembered the smile that had been on her face- and the cute top and skirt she'd worn- as she met up with her friends and spent the evening celebrating in the Student Union bar- even if they had been restricted to just one pre-booked table.

As she applied her make-up for the day ahead, Lucy tried to cling to the feelings that she’d felt the previous night- feelings of happiness and fun, but more importantly, feelings of acceptance and love, and a feeling of belonging, like she truly was the person she was meant to be. In the cold light of day, however, Lucy could only see the stubbly face of a teenaged boy staring back at her from her mirror, almost like it was taunting her that she would never truly be who she wanted to be.

However, Lucy was determined not to let her negative feelings overwhelm her. After ensuring her make-up was perfect (particularly her cat eye eyeliner), Lucy grinned as she pulled on a pair of opaque black tights, followed by a short faux leather A-line skirt and a pair of ankle boots with a chunky 2-inch heel. After eschewing her university hoodie in favour of a plain beige top and a fashionable black cardigan, Lucy grabbed her bag with her books and headed out into the corridor, where she found her brother and her best friend already waiting for her.

“Hey Luce!” Susie said with a grin that was mirrored by the tall trans girl. “Recovered from last night yet?”

“Heh, nearly,” Lucy chuckled. “Probably the last time we party on a Sunday night for a while, and not just because of you know what.”

“Aye, that’s true,” Susie sighed sadly. “Did- did you hear of anyone catching it over summer, like, anyone you know?”

“Not that I recall,” Lucy replied. “You?”

“Nope,” Susie replied, before smirking as Luke rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Luke, are we being too ‘gossipy hen’ for you?”

“…That and there have got to better things to talk about than ‘who did and didn’t catch covid over summer’,” the young trans man replied, smirking as his sister and his friend giggled. “And it’s hardly ‘gossipy hen’ when we barely saw you over summer, heh.”

“We chatted literally all the time online,” Susie reminded her friend.

“Aye, well, that’s not the same and you know it,” Luke said. “It- heh. It kinda felt like, you know, back before we were out publicly? Having to hide ourselves away in our rooms, not being seen by anyone…” Susie and Lucy smiled sympathetically as the young man’s voice trailed off.

“…Lucy, give him a hug,” Susie ordered, making the tall trans girl giggle as she obeyed. “I would, but, you know, social distancing and all that.”

“I’ll let you off this time,” Luke chuckled as he wriggled free of his sister’s hold. “Are we meeting up with the others for lunch?”

“Yep, already texted Priya,” Lucy replied. “It’s gonna be good to get back into the routine, you know? Forget about all the other shit going on in the world right now.” And I don’t just mean covid, Lucy thought to herself as the small group headed toward the lecture hall.

The trio had only barely taken their seats, though, when they were interrupted by the voice of one of the friends they'd made the previous year.

“H- hey, guys,” the soft Seattle accent of Phoebe Adams said, smiling nervously as the three Geordies turned to face her. “Umm… room for one more?”

“Sure!” Lucy replied with a smile as she, Luke and Susie moved up to make room for the tall blonde girl.

“Ya don’t need to ask in future, you know,” Luke said with a supportive smile. “It’s not like we own the row, heh.”

“And it’s not like we didn’t hang out last year, too,” Lucy reminded Phoebe.

“Well- true,” Phoebe replied. “But- you know, covid and all that…”

“I’m not coughing,” Luke shrugged. “Did- did you get it over summer, Phoebe?”

“Ah- no, I didn’t,” the American girl replied. “My parents, on the other hand… I mean- don’t get me wrong, they’re fine, they recovered quickly and only had mild symptoms, but- yeah.”

“But- but you didn’t get it, though?” Lucy asked.

“Well, no, I’d have struggled to get it when I didn’t go home over summer,” Phoebe said with a sad sigh as Lucy cringed.

“Ah- sorry,” Lucy mumbled.

“It’s not your fault,” Phoebe said with a shrug, though her face betrayed her emotions. “It’s not like you invented covid, heh. And hopefully, I’ll be able to go home for Christmas.”

“Well, if you can’t, my mum always makes too much food for us,” Susie said with a warm smile that her American friend mirrored. “Assuming Boris and Chris Whitty let us, anyway.”

“Thanks,” Phoebe chuckled. “No offence, but hopefully it won’t come to that, heh!”

“None taken, and fingers crossed!” Susie said with a grin as the lecture hall began to fill.

After the lecture- which consisted mostly of an introduction to the second year of the course- the four students made their way to the university cafeteria for lunch, waiting for the arrival of their other friends. Within minutes, they were joined by Priya, Claudia, Gavin and Kieran, and in no time at all, the spirits of everyone at the table were as high as they'd been before the summer break.

“Hi, fellow ‘bubblers’!” Gavin chuckled as he sat down at the table, making sure to keep a safe distance between himself and the other students, who were all sat close to others on their respective courses. “Won’t hug for obvious reasons, heh!”

“No offence taken, for obvious reasons!” Lucy chuckled. “I hope you’ve stayed safe over the summer?”

“Like I had much of a choice?” Gavin replied with a derisive snort of laughter. “Fortunately, covid doesn't affect people with MS any worse than everyone else, but that didn't stop my family from wrapping me up in cotton wool all summer.”

“Ugh, yeah, can imagine,” Susie sighed. “Had your first lecture yet?”

“Yeah, didn’t really learn anything though,” Gavin replied. “I’m more looking forward to getting signed back up for all the societies tomorrow, though.”

“Totally,” Priya agreed. “Is everybody else going for the same societies they were in last year?”

“That’s the plan,” Lucy replied. “I mean, LGBT society’s a must, even if Rick isn’t in charge anymore, and I did really enjoy street dance last year.”

“Well, that’s two for street dance, then,” Priya teased, smirking as her blonde-haired classmate rolled her eyes.

“Yes, yes, fine,” Claudia said with a mock sigh, before giggling. “Three it is.”

“…Just three?” Priya asked expectantly as she glanced across at Susie and Phoebe, the former of whom rolled her eyes while the latter blushed.

“Not a fucking chance,” Susie replied. “No offence.”

“None taken, I think,” Priya said with a tired chuckle.

“And I- heh,” Phoebe said as her cheeks started to redden.

“Ph- Phoebe?” Lucy asked. “If- if you don’t want to, all you have to do is say-“

“Yeah, that- that’s the thing,” Phoebe interrupted as she chuckled again. “Over lockdown, I, like, started watching Joe Wicks and following his workouts- you know, to lose a bit of weight, and- heh. You posted your friend Nicole’s workouts on your Facebook, so I started following her workouts as well, and- yeah. Found myself having a LOT more fun than I expected.”

“So… fab four this year, then?” Priya asked, she, Claudia and Lucy all cheering excitedly as the American girl nodded.

“But just to try it out, to see if I like it,” Phoebe clarified.

“Sure,” Priya said with a shrug. “No pressure at all, if you don’t like it, you shouldn’t feel obliged to continue with it just because we are. But, you know, there is a saying…”

“Does it involve rearranging the words ‘friends never can too you many have’?” Claudia asked with a smug grin, triggering a mass giggle from all the girls at the table.

“Maybe,” Priya replied with an equally smug smile. “Also, you know, the street dance class IS open to girls AND boys…”

“Are you on the dance society’s committee this year, by any chance?” Luke asked, earning an eye roll and a chuckle from the Indian girl.

“Thought about it, but then I saw just how much reading we have to do for my second year,” Priya replied.

“Long story short: it’s a long story,” Claudia said with a tired laugh. “A really, REALLY long story.”

“The sort-of textbooks that could double as sledges when it snows?” Gavin asked with a chuckle that loudened as the two girls rolled their eyes. “In fairness, I think we’ve all got a lot on our plate this year, heh.”

“You study modern art, your textbooks are filled with pictures,” Susie said, before giggling as Gavin threw a sachet of ketchup at her.

“Pictures where we have to dissect every tiny detail to work out what’s going on with them,” Gavin retorted. “But to answer your implied question, Priya, ordinarily I’d love to join your dance class, but-“

“Yeah, it- it’s okay, I get it,” Priya said, exchanging a sympathetic smile with the dark-haired young man.

“I’m out too, no offence, like,” Luke said.

“None taken,” Priya said. “So… Kieran? Any reason you wouldn’t want to join the class?”

“Any reason I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by over a dozen women doing aerobic exercise for an hour?” Kieran asked. “I can kinda think of one, yep.”

“Okay, okay, point taken,” Priya chuckled. “Well, if you run into any straight guys who might be interested, let me know, heh. Which isn’t mean in a discriminatory way, but-“

“Yeah, we- we get it,” Gavin chuckled. “Though speaking of straight guys, here’s one right now you might want to try to persuade…”

“Hey guys!” The friendly, smiling face of Jerome Borden said as he made his way past the table with his lunch in hand.

“Hey, Jerome, have you got a sec?” Luke asked, smirking as Priya shot him a death glare.

“Umm, sure, what’s up?” The dark-skinned man replied.

“Priya has something she wants to ask you,” Kieran said with a smug grin as the Indian girl rolled her eyes.

“…I’m just trying to drum up some support for my street dance class, that’s all,” Priya sighed. “Well- it’s not MY class, but it’s the one I, like, go to, and- yeah. I figure it’s, like, my duty to help out where I can, if that makes sense.” The teenagers at the table all grinned as Priya started to blush, while a knowing smile spread across Jerome’s face.

“…I’m not much of a dancer, but have you ever thought about being on the Student Union committee?” Jerome asked, chuckling as the Indian girl blushed further. “Seriously, like. There were a few people on that committee last year who could’ve used that attitude, heh.”

“I- I’m pretty overwhelmed with my uni work as it is, and it’s only day one!” Priya chuckled.

“Which is also the reason you’ve left the committee, isn’t it?” Lucy teased the tall young man, who chuckled and sighed.

“Maybe,” Jerome replied. “My replacement will hopefully do a decent enough job, though.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” the distinctive voice of Rick Collins said as he gave Jerome a friendly pat on the back. “He’s not wrong though, when he says that the Union would benefit from having guys and gals like you more active on the committee, or at least the organisational side of things. I mean, you of all people should know my views on representation, right?”

“Well- I guess,” Lucy shrugged. “Maybe next year- depending on our workload, heh.”

“And depending on who’s taking over from you as chair of the LGBT society,” Kieran said with a smirk.

“Umm, I’m pretty sure I told you it was Livvy, Livvy Straw?” Rick replied. “I sent you an email about it a few weeks ago, anyway.”

“Yeah, I- I may have not checked my uni email much over summer,” Kieran mumbled, to the amusement of his friends. “Kinda needed a clean break, heh.”

“Yeah, can’t say I blame you, in fairness,” Rick sighed. “Think we all needed a break after everything this last six months. But still, back to work now- literally for me, as I still need to pick ‘our JB’s’ brain for advice about, well, how not to be a shit SU president, heh!”

“Will we still see you at LGBT society meetings?” Luke asked.

“Just try and stop me!” Rick said with a cheeky grin and a wink as he followed Jerome to another table in the vast cafeteria.

“He seems pretty cool,” Phoebe mused. “So he was the chairman of the LGBT society last year?”

“Yep,” Lucy replied. “Helped us a lot when it came to settling in, in giving us, like, a safe space where we can be us, free from discrimination, that sort of thing.”

“I still reckon it sucks that you need a safe space at all,” Claudia mumbled. “So you’re living life as the opposite gender to the one you were born as. Big deal.”

“Aye, well, sadly, to some, it IS a big deal,” Luke sighed, though his frown gradually disappeared as Phoebe gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“But not to the people who matter,” Priya said firmly. “Not to the people who love you- both of you.”

“Aye,” Lucy said, trying to mimic her friend’s confidence, but deep down inside, her stomach continued to churn over the fact that in her eyes, their transition had cost them their relationship with a large part of their family.

“Anyway,” Gavin said. “What’s everyone’s plan for the afternoon? I thought I might head to the library, check out all the freshers registering, that sort of thing.”

“Count me in,” Kieran said with a shrug. “Societies don’t take sign ups until tomorrow, do they?”

“I think if you were signed up last year, it rolls over to this year anyway,” Priya said. “I don’t think they want huge crowds in the Student Union building anyway because of you know what, so- yeah. I’m only going along tomorrow to see if street dance and pointe class don’t clash like they did last year.”

“…Plus, she’s bought a matching face mask and scrunchie that she wants to show off,” Claudia teased her friend, who rolled her eyes and giggled.

“Aww, I want a matching face mask and scrunchie!” Lucy giggled. “Now that my hair’s FINALLY getting long enough, anyway.”

“I was about to say,” Priya said with a warm smile. “You seem to be getting girlier every time I see you- which I obviously mean as a compliment!”

“Thank you,” Lucy replied with a smug grin. “It still feels like the whole, well, ‘thing’ is taking forever, though.”

“But hopefully,” Luke said, “this afternoon we’ll get some long-overdue good news.”

“Which is- which is why we’re going to need to give this afternoon a miss,” Lucy said. “Hopefully we’ll have something to celebrate this evening, heh.”

“Which I think I know what it’ll be celebrating,” Priya said softly. “I’ll keep my fingers crossed for both of you.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered as she felt her nerves start to increase at the prospect of what the afternoon would bring.

After finishing their lunch, Luke and Lucy returned to the latter’s dorm room, where they sat down on the bed with Lucy’s phone in between them. It wasn’t long before the phone rang, and both twins had nervous smiles on their faces as they answered the call.

“Hi Dr Adams,” Lucy and Luke said simultaneously into the speakerphone.

“Good afternoon, you two,” the twins’ counsellor replied. “It was your first day back at university today, wasn’t it? How’s it been?”

“It’s been okay,” Lucy replied with a shrug.

“Yep,” Luke said. “We’ve just been, like, getting on with it.”

“Are you feeling any of the nerves that you felt at the start of last academic year?” Dr Adams asked.

“Not really,” Lucy replied. “It’s, like, everyone’s used to us now, so- yeah, if that makes sense.”

“And the workload is WAY bigger this year, so- yeah,” Luke said, before snorting with laughter. “I doubt anyone will have the time to be transphobic this year, heh.”

“Well, hopefully, anyway,” Lucy said with a tired chuckle. "If only it worked that way, like."

“As long as you’ll both be able to find time for yourselves,” Dr Adams said. “Are you planning on continuing with the extracurricular societies you joined last year?”

“Yep,” Lucy replied. “We were just talking about that at lunch, actually. I’m really looking forward to doing street dance again, actually, especially as I’ve lost almost a stone since this time last year.”

“I’m looking forward to football too,” Luke said. “I mean, I’m at about the same fitness I was this time last year and- well, umm, it- it’s not like anything else about my body has, you know, changed…”

“Okay,” Dr Adams said, before letting out a quiet chuckle of her own. “And hint taken, okay. I was going to save this for later in the call, but I can tell you’re eager to discuss it now, and this IS your session after all. As you know, after you came out to your parents in March, we began the process of preparing to start you on HRT.”

“And then, literally just a few hours later, the entire country went belly-up,” Lucy sighed as she felt her nerves start to grow.

“Indeed,” Dr Adams sighed. “Normally, we’d have had the physical and blood tests done in weeks following your coming out, but as it is, we’ve had to wait a bit- well, okay, a lot longer. However, I have received back all the information I need, and to cut a long story short, yes, I am prepared to start you both on a provisional dose of HRT, starting immediately.” The twins both grinned widely as they absorbed the news- their dreams had finally come true. However, inside, both twins were feeling very different, conflicting emotions.

While she was excited by the news that she’d received, Lucy also felt extremely nervous. Even without what she'd learned from her sessions with Dr Adams, she knew enough about oestrogen to know what effects it would have on her body- and that they would quickly prove to be irreversible. Her skin would grow smooth and soft, her waist would narrow, and her hips would widen, and slowly, but surely, she would begin to develop breasts. And while Lucy was excited about the prospect of all of these things, she was confronted by one inescapable thought- that she would still only be pretending to be a girl. Even with her ‘enhancements’ made of flesh and blood, rather than silicone and plastic, there was only so much they could change about her. She’d still be almost six feet tall, she’d still have a masculine skeleton, a masculine jaw, and worst of all, the knowledge that no matter how she presented, she’ll always have been born male. Lucy’s first year of university, living full time as a girl, has been a great adventure, and the happiest time of her life. As the reality of her transition began to sink in, though, Lucy found herself questioning if she was truly ready for the life ahead of her- and moreover, if she deserved to live that life.

Conversely, when he heard Dr Adams’s announcement, Luke had to physically restrain himself from bouncing up and down with excitement. He saw the prescription as validation that everything he felt while growing up, all of his anger and all of his resentment was justified. He categorically WAS born as the wrong gender and was going to get all the help he needed to put his life right. And he was more than willing to shove the fact- the FACT- of his diagnosis in the face of anyone who disagreed, whether they were his fellow students or his family. However, as the discussion moved on to the more practical aspects of the treatment he was to receive, Luke realised that as much as he wanted to confront people, to rub his success in their faces, he didn’t actually know anyone he could confront. His grandparents wouldn’t listen, the idiots on the football team, like Barnes, didn’t even play on the same side as him and the only people he regularly hung out with at university were the LGBT society, who seemed almost mandated to support him, and his friends like Priya and Claudia, who didn’t question his masculinity.

Unbeknownst to Luke, though, Lucy was thinking the exact same thing, and as the session started to draw to a close, the opportunity arose to address it.

“Well, we’re almost out of time for this week,” Dr Adams said. “I’ve already sent the prescriptions to a pharmacy in Durham, Luke, they’ll contact you to arrange a time for your testosterone injections by the end of this week.”

“Thanks,” Luke whispered nervously.

“Is there anything else you’d like to discuss before we end the call?” Dr Adams asked.

“Well, actually-“ Luke and Lucy said simultaneously, before giggling and blushing at their synchronicity.

“You- you go,” Luke said.

“No, really, you can go first, I don’t mind,” Lucy replied.

“Okay, Lucy- you first,” Dr Adams said, taking back control of the call.

“O- okay,” Lucy said, smiling as her brother nodded his approval. “It’s just- it’s a bit complicated, but put simply, last year at university, we- we kinda kept to ourselves, or at the very least our friendship- heh, our friendship ‘bubble’, pun not intended. But, like, it was- we only, you know, hung out with people who we knew were guaranteed to accept us for who we are, and- well…”

“I guess we- we’re nervous about being more ‘open’ with other people,” Luke continued, sharing a smile with his sister. “Believe it or not, this is the exact thing I was gonna ask.”

“I actually can believe it, given how long I’ve helped you two,” Dr Adams chuckled, causing both twins to blush. “I will admit, you are the first set of twins I’ve treated, but it’s true what they say: sometimes you do think with one mind. But to answer your question, it’s only natural to feel nervous about putting yourself out there more. This is something even cis people fret about regularly, getting out of one’s comfort zone, though obviously cis people typically don’t have to worry about the level of discrimination that you two are vulnerable to.”

“We’re only asking ‘cause-“ Lucy said, before chuckling. “Heh, a couple of our friends were thinking, like, we should- as in, we’d be good candidates to be more involved in the Student Union, or on the committee of the LGBT society, that sort of thing.”

“And would you like to take a greater role in these things?” Dr Adams.

“Umm… I dunno, really,” Lucy replied.

“Same here,” Luke said. “I mean, it’s nice to be thought of like- well, in those terms, but- yeah. It’s a lot of responsibility that I’m not sure I’m ready for yet. But at the same time, there are a lot of other people our age who are stepping up, and- heh. I dunno. Maybe I’m still nervous about, like, ‘putting myself forward’, that sort of thing.”

“That definitely goes for me too,” Lucy said. “Heh, even at the LGBT society, which is, like, a guaranteed safe space, sometimes I feel, like, out of place. Maybe that’ll change when I- when I start HRT, I dunno.”

“Well, as I’m sure you’re aware, HRT isn’t a ‘magic pill’,” Dr Adams advised. “In its most simple terms, it is a way of enabling your body to better match your true gender identity. Though there are obviously genuine psychological benefits to it as well.”

“Okay,” Lucy whispered.

“The one thing to remember,” Dr Adams said, “is that while this is a big step, it’s not one you’ll need to take alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way. From what you’ve told me, you have many genuine friends who will help you. Your parents are on your side, and above all else, you’ll always have each other.”

“Aye,” Lucy said with a smile.

“What we do, we do together, right?” Luke asked.

“Always,” Lucy whispered, though deep down inside, she wondered whether or not her brother was moving too quickly for her to keep up.

“Is there’s nothing else, do either of you want to speak with me individually before I end the call?”

“Nope,” Luke replied with a confident smile.

“Umm, nope, I’m fine,” Lucy said.

“Okay, then I’ll speak to you both next week,” Dr Adams said. “I imagine you’ll both want to celebrate with your friends- well, as much as the current rules permit, anyway!”

“Yep!” Luke said with a smile. “Thanks as always for your help.”

“Yep, thanks!” Lucy chuckled, before sighing as the call ended. “… Excited, I take it?”

“Well, duh!” Luke replied, barely containing his happiness at the news. “I mean, it sucks that I have to have an injection when you can take a tablet, but a needle in the arm once a week’s a small price to pay, right?”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled- though her ambivalence didn’t go unnoticed by her brother.

“Is- is everything okay?” Luke asked. “Luce?”

“Hmm?” Lucy replied. “Oh, umm, yep! Everything- everything’s great, I just- heh. It seems like everything’s, you know, going so quickly, and- heh. We’re going to have to tell mam and dad about HRT at some point too.”

“Well, there ain’t much they can do about it,” Luke snorted. “I mean, we’re nineteen, we’re adults, we don’t need their permission or anything.”

“Aye, true, I suppose,” Lucy said.

“And we don’t need their permission to go out celebrating if we want to!” Luke said with a confident smirk. “Well, as much as we’re allowed to, anyway.”

“Aye, true!” Lucy giggled. “I’ll text the girls, see if we can meet up somewhere, given that the bar’s probably already fully booked.”

“I’ll text Gav and Kieran,” Luke said. “Hey, d’you suppose Rick would be up for a party? Or is he, like, too busy with SU stuff, maybe?”

“Can’t hurt to ask him,” Lucy shrugged. “Ooh, text Jerome too, you know he’ll be pumped about news like this.”

“But not as pumped as we are, right?” Luke asked his sister, who responded with an excited squeak- even as deep down inside, she was still nervous about the prospect of making changes to her body that could prove to be irreversible...

Later that night, the twins, their six close friends along with Rick, Jerome and a handful of their other friends from the university’s LGBT society congregated over Zoom to celebrate the twins' news with music, dancing and a lot of alcoholic beverages. However, with everyone having classes the following day, the party lasted for less than two hours, with Luke and Lucy (who had 'attended' the party in the former's room) being the last to leave the call.

“That was a GREAT night,” Luke said with a tired yet happy grin as he walked his sister back to her room. “Been a pretty good day too, heh!”

“Yep!” Lucy giggled. “Ah… I’m- I’m kinda nervous, you know? I mean, about my body changing. I mean, I know what to expect, but- yeah. I still reckon it’ll be a surprise when it, like, actually happens. I mean, like, the changes, heh.”

“How much have you had to drink?” Luke asked, smirking as his sister rolled her eyes and giggled again. “But yeah, I guess I get what you mean. But, like, it’s not like we haven’t changed at all physically yet, if you get what I mean?” The young trans man smiled as he lifted the cuffs of his jeans to show the fine, wispy hairs covering his shins. “I mean, like, it’s not much, but it’s not nothing either, right?”

“True,” Lucy said. “I- I’d better get back to my room, we’ve got a long day tomorrow, heh!”

“Aye,” Luke said, before leaning in for a long hug with his sister. “But- like, we did it, heh! Taken the next step, like.”

“Yep!” Lucy said, her giggle not disguising her nerves, which were only exacerbated by her inebriated state.

As she laid in bed that night, Lucy mused on what her brother had said about the changes they had already undergone. Lucy regularly shaved the hairs on her legs and her arms, the hair on her head had grown out and her dance class, along with other exercise, had helped to narrow her waist and tone her muscles. And yet, all of those changes could be easily reversed. It would take literally zero effort to not shave her arms or legs- or even her face- cutting her hair would be trivial once covid restrictions were eased, and all it would take for her waist to widen again was a few months of her regular 'student diet' and no exercise. The changes brought about by HRT, though, would be much harder to reverse. However, Lucy knew that just like the other changes she had experiences, those changes would be for the better. She'd dreamed of being a girl her whole life, for so long that she was forced to admit that she didn't know how to react to that dream becoming a reality...

“Mmph,” Luke moaned, his head throbbing as his alarm woke him from his slumber the following morning. The smile quickly returned to his face, though, when he remembered the events of the previous day. Despite his hangover, Luke had a spring in his step as he washed his face and combed his hair. Even wrapping his elasticated bandage around his chest felt like less of a chore than usual- while it still reminded him of where he’d come from, he also saw it as a goal-a promise, even, that one day he would no longer need to use it, and he was closer to that goal than ever before. After pulling on a comfortable pair of jeans and his trusty Newcastle United replica shirt, Luke all but jogged the short distance down the corridor to his sister’s room before eagerly knocking on her door.

“What!?” Lucy protested as the banging woke her up. “How- what- what time is it, anyway?”

“8:30, breakfast time,” Luke replied as his sister opened the door with her bedcovers huddled around her. “Are you going to wear just your sheet to the cafeteria?”

“Oh- give me a break, I had a lot to drink last night,” Lucy moaned. “…And so did you, how- how are you so perky this early in the morning? We don’t even have any classes this morning!”

“Aye, but I want to get breakfast early, then me, Susie and Phoebe are heading to the library to get some early reading in,” Luke replied. “Obviously, you can come too- if you, like, get dressed first.”

“…Gimme a sec,” Lucy said, closing her door and letting out a long sigh. After throwing her sheet back onto her bed, Lucy turned to face her full-length mirror, sighing at the image that greeted her.

Staring at her from the mirror was- biologically speaking, anyway- the face and body of a young man. A slender young man with long hair, but a young man nonetheless. Even ignoring his wide jaw and prominent Adam’s apple, his shoulders were broad, his hips were narrow and his chest was flat. However, Lucy knew that at the very least, the latter two of those characteristics didn’t have to stay the same forever. As she'd mentally reminded herself the previous night, over time, oestrogen would make her skin softer and smoother, it would narrow her waist and widen her hips, and slowly, but surely, breasts- actual flesh and blood breasts- would grow on her chest. Oestrogen wouldn’t do anything about her skeleton, and certainly wouldn’t do anything about her genitalia, but even the latter could be taken care of further down the line.

As she once again reminded herself, Lucy had fantasised about looking into a mirror and seeing a girl staring back at her. The longer she stayed at university, the more and more that dream seemed to come true. While her clothes and make-up couldn’t disguise her jaw or her skeleton, it did convincingly project the image of her as the woman she wanted to be. An image that many of her fellow students accepted without question, but which Lucy herself knew, deep down, was just a mask- or worse yet, just a fantasy. However, regardless of whether or not it was a 'mask', Lucy felt that she had more than earned the right to wear it if she so chose. And she wasn’t going to let anyone tell her otherwise- not even herself.

After quickly splashing her face with water and removing what little facial hair had grown since she last shaved- and musing that permanent removal of facial hair was another change she could make- Lucy applied her make-up before pulling on a comfortable pair of black leggings, her favourite pair of trainers and her university hoodie. As she glanced in her mirror one last time, she smiled at the image that greeted her- that of any ordinary female student- just as she'd dreamed her whole life.

“Took your time,” Luke said with a tired chuckle as Lucy emerged from her room. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I- I’m fine, just maybe overdid it last night, heh,” Lucy chuckled.

“Aye, well, we had a lot to celebrate, didn’t we?” Luke asked with a grin.

“Totally,” Lucy replied, mirroring her brother’s smile as they headed toward the cafeteria.

“Morning, you two!” Susie said with a grin as the twins got their breakfast and sat down at the table where she and Phoebe were already eating. “You’re not suffering too much this morning, then?”

“Well… I’M not,” Luke replied with a grin as his twin rolled her eyes.

“I thought I saw you ‘indulging’ a bit last night,” Susie teased the tall trans girl. “You sure you’re okay to hit the books this morning?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Lucy replied with a shrug. “Maybe just a bit, you know, like, I’ve had a lot happen all at once, it- I’ll- I’ll be fine, honestly.”

“If you’re sure,” Susie said, smiling gently as her friend nodded.

“Positive,” Lucy said. “Besides, last night was just a warmup for welcoming all the new freshers to the LGBT society tonight, wasn’t it?”

“Well- I think yesterday was a good enough reason to celebrate by itself, if that makes sense,” Susie said with a grin.

“I definitely think so,” Luke chuckled.

“…I guess no arguments here either!” Lucy giggled. “Hopefully the rest of freshers’ week will be a little less, you know, ‘headachey’, heh.”

“Well- for us, if not the freshers themselves!” Susie said, earning a laugh from everyone at the table. Alcohol-induced headaches, at least, Lucy thought to herself as the teenagers quickly finished her breakfast and headed toward the university’s vast library.

After a morning spent reading up on the latest scientific journals- when Lucy and Luke weren't reading up on and answering questions from their friends about HRT- the four young students headed to the cafeteria for lunch, where they met up with their other friends- all of whom were still buzzing after the previous night.

“Hey guys!” Priya squeaked excitedly as she sat down along with Claudia, Kieran and Gavin. “Recovered after last night yet?”

“You’re, like, the hundredth person to ask us that today!” Lucy snorted in reply.

“Maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but not far off,” Luke chuckled as he casually munched his food. “But to answer your question: yes, mostly anyway, heh!”

“Do you know- do you know yet when you’ll like, have your first ‘treatment’?” Kieran asked. “If that’s not too sensitive a question, like.”

“Well, our counsellor sent the prescriptions electronically,” Luke replied. “So it should be at the pharmacy on Friday. Assuming they’re not backlogged due to you-know-what, anyway.”

“Though we’ll understand if you don’t want another party for the first actual pill,” Lucy chuckled. “I don’t even know if the pills mix with alcohol, heh!”

“I’m pretty sure Laura’s said in the past that there’s no, like, bad reaction,” Priya said. “I don’t know how much she knows about testosterone but I’m sure she knows someone who will, and I’m certain I can, like, arrange an introduction.”

“Thanks,” Luke said with a warm smile. “I’m really, REALLY pissed off that we couldn’t go down to London at summer, it’d have been amazing to actually get to meet all your friends, you know?”

“Covid won’t last forever,” Priya said with a confident smile. “I mean, we won’t be at uni forever either, but- but we’ll stay friends, right?”

“Too right,” Susie said, earning murmurs of agreement from all of her friends. “So, what’s everyone been up to this morning?”

“Getting everything ready for when the fun starts tomorrow,” Gavin replied. “And that’s ‘fun’ in inverted commas, as opposed to the ‘fun’ without them that we’re going to be having tonight, heh!”

“Have you ALREADY got a party lined up for tonight?” Priya asked incredulously.

“Well- not as such,” Gavin replied. “But there’ll definitely be something put on by the LGBT society. But don’t worry, I’m sure I can blag a few ‘ally’ invitations, heh!”

“As long as you’re sure we wouldn’t be intruding?” Phoebe asked, smiling as Gavin- along with Susie, Kieran and the twins- all smiled and shook their heads.

“You can never have too many friends,” Lucy reminded her classmate.

“If you don’t mind me asking, though,” Claudia said in a timid voice, “I- I’ve always wondered why, you know, ‘T’ is included in with ‘L’, ‘G’ and ‘B’? I mean, you’ve probably already explained this to me, but- yeah. Gender identity doesn’t have anything to do with sexual orientation, does it?”

“Generally speaking, nope,” Luke said with a shrug. “I mean, I consider myself to be bisexual, so- yeah. Just as long as anyone who, like, gets with me understands that they’re getting with a man, regardless of- well, 'stuff'.”

“Fair enough,” Claudia said. “Sorry if that was, you know, a sensitive question…”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Luke replied with a grin. “There’s a big difference between asking ‘cause you’re curious and asking ‘cause you, I dunno, get off on the thought of ‘unconventional’ sex or whatever.”

“Yeah,” Claudia chuckled nervously.

“Though I reckon it’s all down to, like, attitudes,” Lucy mused, biting her lip as her friends looked at her with confusion. “Like, why LGBT issues are often treated the same way regardless of, well, ‘letter’. Most transphobes are inevitably going to be homophobes as well, and I’d be willing to bet that a good chunk of them are misogynists as well. I mean- and I’m just saying this as a fact, I don’t mean anything bad by it, but- but Luke’s had a less shit about his transition than I have.”

“…Can’t argue with that,” Luke mumbled as he struggled to return his sister's gaze.

“I don’t get how that would make someone misogynistic, though?” Phoebe asked. “Surely a misogynist would be angrier at- umm, well- a woman becoming a man?”

“It’s misogynistic,” Lucy explained, “because a ‘woman becoming a man’ is seen as, like, a step up, but a ‘man becoming a woman’ is seen as somehow demeaning.”

“A lot like a man being in love with a man,” Kieran said quietly. “When I got my first boyfriend, pretty much all of my friends would ask me ‘so which one of you is ‘the girl’’, like being a girl is somehow a bad thing?”

“These people probably wouldn’t get on well with my friend Harriet,” Priya chuckled. “She’s radical- and I mean RADICALLY feminist. One of her favourite sayings is ‘a skirt is a symbol of strength’. And trust me, neither she or her girlfriend are, well, ‘the boy’ in the relationship, for want of a better way of putting it.”

“But she- she’s trans-inclusive, right?” Luke asked.

“Totally,” Priya replied. “She can’t stand TERFs. Though I do sometimes wonder if, like, she’d feel that way if she didn’t know Laura or Ashley. Though both of them are SO girly, that- yeah. No mistaking either of THEM for boys, believe me!”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled nervously as she fidgeted in her seat. “So she’d, like, not have any problem with, you know, trans girls in women-only places?”

“Nope,” Priya replied with a shrug. “Nor would I. The whole ‘trans people only pretend to be women to gain access to women’s spaces to assault them’ is total bullshit. Just meet- well, any trans woman and you’ll understand why. And I’ve had the pleasure of making friends with three, hehe!”

“Yeah,” Lucy said, smiling even as inside, she continued to feel uncomfortable. While she’d enjoyed her brief chats with Laura and Ashley over the summer break, she had always felt somewhat inadequate compared to them. She’d rationalised that as them having transitioned for longer than her, but she often found herself getting ‘lost’ in their conversations. Lucy hoped that starting HRT would ease these feelings and make her feel more like the girl she’d always wanted to be, but as the day of her first tablet drew near, Lucy found herself feeling more anxious than ever. What if she still didn't fit in with Priya's friends? What if her body didn't develop the way she wanted? What if it didn't develop at all?

After lunch, however, Lucy’s worries began to ease- or at least, get shifted to the side- as she and her friends headed toward the place where she knew she would feel safest- even if, as she remembered, it was the place where she had her first experience of explicit transphobia almost exactly twelve months earlier. However, Lucy quickly put those thoughts to the back of her mind as together, she, Luke, Susie, Gavin and Kieran approached the stand, giggling as the young woman at the stand playfully sighed and rolled her eyes.

“And is that any way to greet your ‘fab five’ from last year, Livvy?” Gavin teasingly asked the new chairperson of the university’s LGBT society.

“Yes, yes, it’s great to see you all as well,” The blonde-haired Middlesbrough native replied with a chuckle. “Even if you are wearing THAT.” Luke grinned smugly as Livvy gestured toward his trusty Newcastle United shirt.

“Keep crying down in the Championship,” Luke chuckled. “But aye, we’re all here to sign up again, heh.”

“Which I’d have hoped you’d remember can be done over email, and today is really more just for freshers,” Livvy reminded the group. “Again- not that I’m not glad to see you all today.”

“We just thought we’d come and, you know, offer some moral support,” Luke said with a shrug.

“I notice that none of you offered to ‘morally support’ the committee this year,” Livvy said, before shaking her head and giggling. “But I do appreciate it.”

“Gotta represent where we can, right?” Kieran chuckled. “Seriously, though, anything we can do, just ask. Right, guys and gals?”

“Too right,” Susie replied with a grin as everyone nodded.

“Well- I definitely do appreciate it,” Livvy said with a warm grin.

“It’s the least we can do,” Kieran said. “After all, you do throw the best parties, especially welcoming ones for freshers that second year students can usually go to as well…” The five teenagers all chuckled as Livvy took a deep breath, before sighing and letting out a tired chuckle.

“Annnnnd THERE it is,” Livvy teased. “Seriously, though, as much as we’d love to have a welcoming party, you-know-what means we have to be a bit more ‘scaled back’ than last year, heh. Bubbles only, maybe only a Zoom meet-up I’m afraid. At least until we’re all settled in and can ‘bubble’ together. Or until we all get vaccinated. Or covid goes away of its own accord, heh.”

“Ah- fair enough,” Kieran said. “And in fairness, we did do a bit of celebrating last night…” Luke and Lucy both rolled their eyes, the latter blushing as their Mancunian friend gestured toward them.

“But you all kept safe, I hope?” Livvy asked.

“And we all took lateral flow tests before coming back, we’re all ‘clear’,” Lucy replied. “And we’re all wearing these, too.” Livvy smiled as Lucy, along with her friends, gestured to the light blue masks covering their mouths and noses.

“Though we’d much rather be wearing THOSE!” Gavin said with a giggle as he gestured to the cloth masks on Livvy’s stall, all of which bore the colours of a pride flag, whether that was the classic rainbow flag, the blue, pink and white of the trans pride flag or any of the many other flags that were proudly displayed at the stall.

“Well…” Livvy said with a twinkle in her eye. “I would offer to sell one to you, but we’re not allow to handle coins, so I guess I’m going to have to give them to you for free!” The five students all giggled excitedly as they took the masks from the table, Gavin and Kieran taking the same rainbow-coloured masks that Livvy was wearing, while Susie took a pink, yellow and cyan mask and Luke and Lucy helped themselves to masks with the blue, pink and white pattern that had become very important to them over the previous few months.

The five teenagers wasted no time in swapping their plain masks for their new ones, posing for a socially distanced group selfie once they’d all changed. As the group bade farewell to Livvy and moved away from the stall, though, Luke and especially Lucy began to feel even more self-conscious than usual. While they certainly felt no shame in being transgender, especially following their good news the previous day, they usually made no effort to advertise that fact- but that had changed once they'd donned the masks. However, while they felt uneasy at singling themselves out for potential ridicule, they quickly realised possibly the greatest advantage of wearing their mask, when they rounded the corner and nearly ran into a young man wearing exact same facial covering as them.

“Oh- umm, h- hi,” the young man said nervously in a soft Cheshire accent.

“H- hi,” Luke replied with a nervous wave, before elbowing his sister in the ribs.

“Hi,” Lucy said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “I- umm, I like your mask, heh.”

“Well- yeah, I can kinda tell,” the young man said, smiling sympathetically as the tall trans girl blushed. “I- I’m Anthony, by the way. Anthony Mayhew.”

“I- I’m Luke,” the Geordie trans man said as he exchanged an elbow bump with the newcomer. “This is my sister Lucy, we- we’re twins.”

“Ah- cool,” Anthony said with a nervous chuckle. “Well, umm, I- I look forward to, like, getting to know you better. At the LGBT society, I mean, I- I assume you’re all members from, like, your masks?”

“Ah- yeah, we are,” Lucy chuckled.

“Cool,” Anthony said as he fidgeted nervously. “I- I’m feeling kinda outnumbered here, heh.”

“Well, you definitely shouldn’t be,” Susie said with a warm smile. “’Cause I don’t see this as five against one, it’s definitely six against zero. And, hey, we’re meant to be living to a rule of six, aren’t we?”

“Well- I suppose,” Anthony chuckled.

“And you can never have too many friends, right?” Kieran asked.

“Well- I guess not,” Anthony chuckled, prompting a confused look from his new friends.

“You- you’re not familiar with that saying, then?” Lucy asked.

“…I guess I’ve probably heard it somewhere,” Anthony replied with a nervous chuckle.

“Not- not an Angels fan, then?” Kieran asked.

“Ah- no,” Anthony said with a tired chuckle. “Not really my ‘thing’, heh.” The five students all smiled supportively as Anthony unzipped his hoodie to reveal a t-shirt bearing the image of the TV character known as 'The Mandalorian' and the phrase ‘This is the Way’ written underneath. What Luke and Lucy couldn’t help but notice, though, was the distinctive ‘shape’ of the young man’s chest underneath the t-shirt- and the fact that he started to blush as he hastily zipped his baggy hoodie back up.

“Yeah, sorry…” Lucy mumbled. “Probably a cliche to assume that all trans people like the Angels, heh. It’s especially bad for us to think that!”

“Meh, no offence taken,” Anthony said, before fidgeting as an awkward silence fell over the group. “Umm, anyway, it- it was nice meeting you…”

“Likewise,” Luke said. “We’ll talk soon at, like, LGBT society meetings, right?”

“Yeah,” Anthony chuckled. “That- that’d be nice. I’ll- I’ll, umm, I’ll head off now…” The group of five students waved Anthony off with smiles on their faces, though once he was out of earshot, Luke let out a long, tired sigh.

“…And now we know why we’re not on the LGBT society’s committee, heh,” the young trans man sighed. “We’d do a good job on the ‘scaring freshers off’ society, though.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Lucy mused quietly. “We did do one good thing, at least- we let him know he wasn’t alone. I can’t speak for him, obviously, but the poor guy must’ve been terrified the first few days he was here, not knowing anyone, not even being able to get to know anyone due to covid, so- yeah. Think that’s our good deed for the day done, heh.”

“Well- can’t argue with that,” Luke said. “God knows how terrified I’d have been if I came here but I didn’t have you with me.”

“D’aww,” Gavin teased the twins, who both rolled their eyes. “I would say ‘get a room’, but I don’t want to be seen as encouraging incest, heh!”

“Oh- shut it, you!” Luke snorted as his friend laughed even louder.

“Well, anyway,” Susie said. “Like you said, we’ve done our good deed for the day, and like Livvy said, we don’t actually need to be here in person to sign up for societies, so… anyone fancy something to eat?”

“Sounds good to me,” Kieran said.

“I- I’ll catch you up in a bit,” Luke said. “Just want to check in with James from the football society first, let him know about, like, the testosterone treatments. Don’t want to be, like, accused of breaking any rules- God knows there were enough people who thought I did last year, heh.”

“They drug test you on a university team?” Gavin asked.

“Well- I haven’t been tested yet,” Luke replied. “But I don’t want to, you know, be accused of hiding anything. God knows I got enough of THAT last year as well.”

“Well- we’ll be in the cafeteria when you’re ready,” Susie said as she and her friends bade farewell to Luke with a fist bump.

As he wondered among the stalls- while taking care to keep the mandatory two metre distance from his fellow students- Luke mused on his and Lucy’s conversation, specifically how anxious they had both been the previous year. Luke was forced to concede that without Lucy, or even Susie with him in his first week, he’d likely not have had the courage to leave his room, even if he had mustered up the courage to join the LGBT society. And he certainly wouldn’t have the courage to sign himself up for the society whose stall he made a beeline toward, though Luke’s confidence faded somewhat when he saw that the person he wanted to speak to was accompanied by the last person he wanted to even see, much less talk to that day.

“Ah, not even hiding it anymore, then?” The smug Yorkshire accent of James Barnes said as he pointed at Luke’s facemask. “I thought the whole point of pretending to be a guy was that you’re supposed to hide it?”

“Barnes- don’t,” James Thorn cautioned as he adjusted his own facemask, which proudly bore the logo of Lincoln City FC. “What can I do for you, Luke?”

“Umm, can we- can we talk privately, please?” Luke asked, trying not to blush as Barnes laughed.

“Looks like you’re not going to be single long, Thorny!” The Yorkshireman teased.

“…Yes, we can talk privately,” Thorny replied. “Barnes- piss off for five minutes, okay?”

“Sure,” Barnes said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Just leave a sock or something on the doorknob if you need more time!” Luke and Thorny both rolled their eyes as Barnes walked away, before sighing.

“Ugh, wanker,” Thorny muttered under his breath before shaking his head. “Anyway, what’s up, Luke? If you’re here for a Newcastle United facemask, I’ll have to have that ordered I’m afraid- though I do like the one you’re wearing!”

“Thanks,” Luke said with a shy chuckle. “I just- I just wanted to let you know that- well, two things, really. First, I’m planning on staying on the team this year.”

“Glad to hear it,” Thorny said with a smile. “Why do I sense that the second thing’s going to begin with ‘but’?”

“Actually, it isn’t,” Luke said. “I- heh. Me and my sister, that is, we- we’ve been prescribed hormone replacement therapy by our gender identity counsellor. For me, that’s gonna mean testosterone injections, once every week.”

“Ah- well, congratulations… right?” Thorny replied. “That IS a big deal for you, right?”

“Oh- you have no idea, really,” Luke chuckled. “But I was just wondering if, you know, it’d be, like, over the limit or anything-“

“I- I’m not a doctor or a pharmacist or anything,” Thorny chuckled. “Hell, I’m studying computer science, so I’m about as far away as it gets, heh. But the FIFA rulebook at least says that as long as testosterone levels are within, like, normal levels for the gender you identify as, then there’s no issue. So as far as I’m concerned, you should be fine.”

“Well- great!” Luke chuckled. “Though I’m guessing we’re not going to be playing any actual games any time soon, right?”

“Because of the same reason the Euros got postponed?” Thorny asked sadly. “And the same reason we’re wearing masks, heh. Yeah, it is kinda difficult to play football socially distanced, heh. We can still train, though. Work out a bit, maybe. Either way, we’ll work something out, and I’ll keep you posted.”

“Thanks,” Luke said, giving his friend a thumbs up as he walked away. Before he could get far, though, he paused as he heard his earlier tormentor return to the stall.

“What did the ladyboy want?” Barnes asked, instantly triggering Luke’s anger.

“Not cool using that word, mate,” Thorny replied.

“Huh- I guess you’re right,” Barnes said, offering Luke a glimmer of hope that was soon dashed. “Ladyboy is when it’s a guy pretending to be a girl, right? So what would she be, ‘gentlemangirl’ or something?”

“Yeah, well, don’t ever say that to Luke’s face, at least,” Thorny snorted.

“What?” Barnes protested. “If she wants to be a man, she should be able to deal with a little banter.”

“There’s a difference between ‘banter’ and being a prick,” Thorny cautioned.

“There’s also a big difference between having a prick and not having one,” Barnes said.

“So- so what you’re saying is, if Luke was post-op, you wouldn’t give him such a hard time?” Thorny asked.

“If he was post-op, he’d probably find it more funny,” Barnes shrugged.

“You do realise that makes literally no sense, right?” Thorny asked.

“…Fine, forget I brought it up,” Barnes sighed in a tired voice as Luke barely suppressed a growl and walked away, quickly reuniting with his friends.

“All good, then?” Susie asked.

“Yeah,” Luke semi-lied in reply. “We gonna get something to eat, then?” Luke smiled as he accompanied his friends, but deep inside, he felt uneasy- and for the first time, he found himself doubting whether HRT would solve any of his problems. Barnes's casual bigotry had made it clear to him that no matter how much testosterone flowed through his veins, how flat his chest was or even what he had between his legs, there would still be those who saw him as only pretending to be a man. However, despite his anxiety, Luke was determined not to burden any of his friends with it- not even his sister, despite the fact that unbeknownst to him, she was feeling the exact same way that he was.

Later that night, Luke and Lucy convened in the latter’s room for the LGBT society's first Zoom meeting of the year. Just before the scheduled start time of the meeting, though, Lucy was interrupted by a knock on her door- and was confused by the sight that greeted her when she opened it.

“Hi Luce!” Susie said with a confident grin as she let herself into the dorm.

“H- hi, Susie,” Lucy said confusedly. “Umm, what- what are you wearing?”

“You like?” Susie replied as she turned to show off the short denim skirt hanging from her hips. “I thought about what Priya was saying earlier, about how skirts are symbols of strength, so I thought, you know, why not be girly and strong?”

“Even though you are wearing trousers underneath?” Luke asked, smirking as the ginger-haired girl gave him a playful shove.

“They’re leggings, actually,” Susie retorted. “Bag- baggy leggings- okay, they’re trousers. But why shouldn’t I wear what makes me comfortable and strong at the same time?”

“No reason I can think of,” Luke chuckled, his smile widening as Susie sat down next to him and playfully rested her head on his shoulder, while Lucy sat down on the other side of him, trying not to fidget at her friend's arrival. Even despite the trousers Susie wore underneath her skirt, Lucy had never known her friend to be so overtly feminine, making her feel comparatively underdressed even in her own casual skirt and hoodie.

However, as the Zoom call started, Lucy found herself focussing on the positives in her life- and much to her delight, she was quickly reminded of how many there were. She focussed on the many friends she had, both old, such as the familiar faces that had greeted her upon her return to university and the faces on the laptop screen that warmly welcomed her back to the LGBT society, and the new friends she’d made, such as Phoebe and Anthony, both of whom she looked forward to getting to know better during her second year. However, Lucy couldn’t escape the fact that there were many negatives in her life as well. The ever-present threat of covid had meant that for the most part, she could only see her friends at a two-metre distance, or worse yet, over a computer screen. The street dance lessons she’d enjoyed were on indefinite hold, and worst of all, the hormone treatments she’d been looking forward to were causing her more anxiety with each passing day. Lucy just hoped that she would be able to follow Priya’s advice and view her skirt as a symbol of strength, as Lucy found herself feeling more vulnerable than she had done in a long time…

Meanwhile, with each passing second, Luke found himself mentally counting down the days until he would receive the first testosterone injection that he so badly craved. However, he too couldn’t escape the negatives that blighted his life- both those caused by covid, and those caused by the ignorance of people like Barnes. However, Luke was determined to rise above such setbacks with the help of the physical changes that would happen to his body, but more importantly the help he knew he'd get from his friends, and most importantly of all, his sister. Secretly, Luke was ecstatic that he and his sister would be starting HRT at the same time, as it meant that they would be able to fulfil the most important promise they made to each other- that whatever they did, they would do together, always.

However, both twins secretly feared that that might not be the case for much longer...

“Luke!” Paul shouted up the stairs. “Come on, get out of bed, it’s nearly 10 o’clock and we’ve a lot to do today!”

“Yeah, alright,” Luke grunted in reply as he threw back his bed sheets and pulled on his dressing gown, only pausing to look at himself in the mirror before leaving his bedroom.

Covid had meant that the three months since the start of his second year of university had been mostly uneventful- there simply hadn't been any opportunity for anything spontaneous to happen. Lectures and seminars carried on as usual, albeit socially distanced, with those same social distancing rules meaning that lab time was also severely diminished. Meetings of the LGBT society had taken place exclusively over video chat, the student union bar remained closed and worst of all- for Luke- football training had become much more infrequent, and with no physical contact allowed they couldn't even have so much as a practise match against each other. Luke couldn’t even take comfort from the fact that this change had resulted in people leaving the society, resulting in Luke becoming a reserve for the university’s ‘A’ team- there was little point in being on a team that couldn’t play against anyone else, after all.

As he looked into the mirror, though, Luke smiled at how he had at least had a ‘win’- and a significant one at that- since the start of the new school year. While it had been delayed by covid, much like everything in 2020, Luke had allowed himself to feel optimistic- ecstatic, even- when he received the first injection of testosterone from his local GP. While the number of injections he’d received had been small, he felt himself growing stronger with each molecule of testosterone that entered his veins, more assured that he was becoming the man he was always destined to be. And with only a few days of 2020 remaining, he found himself actually looking forward to what 2021 would bring.

Before Luke could celebrate the new year, though, he had another ‘celebration’ to get through first- that of Christmas, which was less than 24 hours away. Even though it would be the first Christmas where his family knew about his true identity, which Luke saw as evidence that it would be better than all his previous Christmases, he still felt wary. New covid restrictions that had been introduced meant that the family were unable to entertain any guests throughout the holiday period, with one exception- Christmas Day itself. On Christmas Day, the family would be allowed to ‘bubble’ with other household, and despite his reassurances over summer, Luke knew that his father would want to celebrate the festive period with his parents. Luke was certain, though, that the elderly couple wouldn’t want to spend time with their grandchildren- at least not with them the way they were.

As her brother was taking care of his morning needs, Lucy was already awake and helping her mother finalise the house’s decorations for the big day. While she’d helped her mother in the past when she was very young, it was the first time in over a decade that Lucy had involved herself with the decorating, and the first time she had done so as her mother’s daughter. However, even though it had been nine months since the twins’ birthdays, Lucy still felt awkward whenever she was around her mother and could instantly tell that her mother felt the same way. And, just like her brother, she was anxious about the prospect of the ‘family reunion’ the following day- not least because unlike her brother, in the nine months since she came out, Lucy had not physically laid eyes on her grandparents or vice versa thanks to the restrictions that had been put in place. However, the following day, for one day only, the restrictions were going to be lifted, and with every decoration that she added to the living room, her anxiety levels rose higher and higher. She found herself longing to return to the relative safety and comfort of university life- even if restrictions had also meant that her dance society meetings had been curtailed, just like her brother's meetings with the football society.

“Where d’you want me to hang this?” Lucy asked her mother as she held up a decorative greetings card holder shaped like Santa's sleigh.

“Above the fireplace, same as always,” Sarah replied, her voice not betraying any emotion whatsoever.

“Umm, okay…” Lucy said. “It’s just that, like, we haven’t had as many cards as usual, probably ‘cause of covid, but-“

“Well- well it’ll be nice to have it up for tradition’s sake,” Sarah interrupted with a smile on her face that Lucy could immediately tell was forced. “Didn’t you get many cards from your uni friends before you came home for the holidays? I remember the primary school days when you and your si- umm, your twin would come home with armfuls of them…”

“Ah- not really, no,” Lucy mumbled in reply, choosing to overlook her mother’s barely avoided faux pas. “We, like, send e-cards now, ‘cause of, you know, covid, and the environment and stuff.”

“Do you- do you not have many people to send cards to?” Sarah asked quietly, not seeing the look of anger that briefly flashed across her daughter’s face.

“Actually, I’ve probably got more people to send cards to than I’ve ever had before,” Lucy replied, allowing herself a small smirk. “And you’ve heard me talking to my friends online a lot, especially Priya, Claudia and Phoebe.”

“Well, I- I’m glad you have so many friends, I really am,” Sarah said softly. “That’s not going to stop me from worrying about you, you know?”

“I know,” Lucy whispered, internally screaming with frustration as she prepared herself for the same talk she and her mother had had countless times before. “But honestly, I’m doing okay. We both are. We- we’re both doing much better than we were- well, like, before.”

“As long as you’re sure,” Sarah said, not noticing her daughter frown and bite her lip.

In the three months since she’d started HRT, Lucy had yet to notice any significant changes to her body. Her chest was still flat, her hips narrow, and her skin still felt coarse even when compared to her brother's. Where she had noticed a change, though, was in her mental state. Things that hadn’t affected her previously suddenly triggered intense emotions within her, and she often found herself openly weeping for no discernible reason. Logically, Lucy knew that these changes were to be expected, and her discussions with Dr Adams affirmed that the changes she was experiencing were evidence that the HRT was having the desired effect, but Lucy still felt frustrated. She had fantasised about being a woman for so long that the reality of the struggle she faced had come as a shock to her, even after a year of living openly as a woman. Lucy knew that there were no ‘miracle cures’ to resolve how she was feeling. However, if miracles were to happen, she reasoned that there was no better time of year for it than the festive season.

“I’m sure,” Lucy said, forcing a wide smile onto her face, which turned into a smirk as her brother slowly descended the stairs to the living room, dressed in his usual attire of a pair of loose jeans and his university hoodie. “Sure I could’ve used some help putting these decorations up…”

“Yeah, well, you’re still taller than me, so you’re the best choice for it anyway,” Luke replied with a smug grin, earning an eye roll from his sister. How is he coping so well when he was so messed up before his transition? Lucy thought to herself as she dusted the glitter from her hands and sat down next to her brother on the sofa.

“Oh, aye, you two just take the weight off why don’t ya?” Paul said with a derisive snort of laughter as he entered the living room.

“Literally only just got up,” Luke retorted. “Not even had breakfast yet.”

“Well, eat up quick, ‘cause we’ve got tons to do for tomorrow!” Paul said, smirking as his children both rolled their eyes. “Oh, come on. I get that this Christmas ain’t gonna be like any other that you’ve- hell, it’s not like any Christmas I’VE experienced before, heh. But I’d have thought that you two would be looking forward to it a bit more, like, because you’ll- well, you know…”

“We’ll actually be ourselves for the first Christmas ever?” Luke asked, smiling tiredly as his father nodded. “I guess I maybe am, maybe a little…”

“Well, at the very least, this year ya you know ya won’t be getting a new dress!” Paul chuckled in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood.

“Don’t suppose you’ll tell me if I AM?” Lucy asked, biting her lip as her father chuckled nervously.

“Well- well you’ll see in less than 24 hours ‘ time,” Paul replied. “Assuming you don’t sleep until noon tomorrow as well!”

“Hey!” Lucy mumbled in protest. “I was up at 8 o’clock today helping with decorations…”

“Aye,” Paul chuckled. “It was ya brother I was talking to!”

“Hilarious,” Luke snorted as his mother passed him a bowl of porridge. “What d’you need my help with, anyway?”

“Got ta get more chairs out of the shed,” Paul replied. “You know the drill by now, they’re kinda buried at the back, under a load of junk, so maybe wear a pair of jeans that's already in the wash so ya don't get that pair dirty.”

“Okay,” Luke said with a shrug, before frowning. “…Why do we need extra chairs when we’re not allowed to have anyone over? I thought we were, like, eating Christmas dinner on our laps this year?”

“Because Christmas is a time for family,” Paul replied, biting his lip nervously as he saw anxious looks spread across his children’s faces. “And it’s also a time, like, for forgiveness, for letting bygones be bygones, that sort of thing.”

“I really, REALLY hope you’re not suggesting that we need to be ‘forgiven’ for being who we are,” Luke said, his mood instantly darkening.

“Well- no, of course not,” Paul replied. “But, like-“

“If anything, THEY should be asking for OUR forgiveness,” Lucy grumbled.

“…You’re gonna need to accept that there are some parts of the world who just aren’t ready for the two of yas yet,” Paul said, sighing as he sat down opposite his children. “Ya grandparents are just, like, lagging a bit behind, that’s all. But they’ve had months to think about it- months where they’ve been isolated by themselves so haven’t had anything to do BUT think about it. And it IS Christmas, so- yeah. Summer was- summer was just a shock to them, that’s all. They’ll be more open to the two of ya now, I guarantee it.”

“Do you- do you REALLY believe that?” Lucy asked.

“I do,” Paul replied as he fidgeted in his seat. “I also believe that when the two of ya were born nearly twenty years ago, your grandparents were as over the moon as new grandparents can get. Heh, hard to believe it’s nearly twenty years. So much has changed since 2001, even when you don’t include covid.”

“Even when you don’t include the two of us as well?” Luke asked, frowning as his father paused.

“…Aye, including that, too,” Paul said. “Even as recently as twenty years ago, I doubt society as a whole would’ve been- well, ready for the two of you.”

“Legally, too,” Lucy mused. “The gender recognition act was only passed in 2004, the equality act was only passed in 2010 so- yeah. As hard as it’s been, it could’ve been a LOT harder.”

“Well, as long as ya both know that me and ya mam will ALWAYS support the two of you,” Paul said. “Not to mention all the friends you’ve made at university! It’s the two of you’s luck that you’d both be stuck indoors when you’ve just turned eighteen and you’ve got friends nearby that you can hang around with.”

“Yep,” Luke sighed. “If we weren’t in tier 3, we’d probably have found a way to hang out with Susie and Gav today, but, well, doesn’t look like that’s happening until we get back to uni.”

“Assuming they don’t tell us all to start learning remotely, anyway,” Lucy sighed.

“And on the subject of ‘remotely’,” Paul said, “I’ve got to log in to work at 11:30, so we need ta get these chairs shifted!”

“Yes, yes, okay,” Luke sighed, finishing his breakfast before heading back up the stairs to change into the 'unclean' clothes recommended by his father.

As her brother was getting changed and her father was unlocking his shed, Lucy allowed herself the chance to relax in front of the television while also idly scrolling through notifications on her phone. Lucy sighed sadly as she opened Facebook messenger, only to discover that there had been no new messages in her group chats since the previous evening. Lucy reasoned that all of her other friends were too busy with their families over the festive period, but it still brought home to her that despite her parents’ insistence, she didn’t have that many friends that she could rely on. Aside from Susie and Gavin, who lived locally, Lucy considered her close friends to only include Priya, Claudia and Phoebe, none of whom lived within 200 miles of Newcastle- and the latter girl didn’t even normally live in the same hemisphere as her.

With a sigh, Lucy jumped off the sofa and headed through to the kitchen, smiling as she discovered her mother hard at work preparing food for the following day.

“Hi mam,” Lucy said softly. “D’you need a hand in here with anything?”

“No, I’m almost done,” Sarah replied as she slid the baking tray into the oven. Okay then, Lucy thought to herself as she fidgeted awkwardly.

“Are we-“ Lucy said, before hesitating. “Umm, are me and Luke gonna call Grandpa Dave and Nanna Julie later?”

“Umm, if you want to,” Sarah replied. “As long as you do talk to them at some point over the Christmas holidays, that’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Lucy whispered, biting her lip in frustration. “Mam, are- are you okay?”

“HMM?” Sarah replied. “Oh- aye, I’m fine, just got a lot to do for tomorrow, heh. Even if you and your- your brother aren’t, well, kids anymore…” ‘Kids’, Lucy thought to herself.

“O- okay,” Lucy whispered, barely stifling a sigh.

For all of Lucy’s life, she’d wanted her mother to acknowledge her as her daughter. She’d imagined what it’d be like to be able to bond as mother and daughter- what it would be like to have her mother teach her to bake, or to have their hair done together, or even to sit down and talk candidly with each other. However, when the reality finally arrived, she found that her mother was distant- almost like her new daughter was a stranger to her. Lucy reasoned that the change was a large adjustment for her mother and that it’d take time- however, over nine months had passed since the twins came out, yet her mother was still as distant to her as she was at the start. And yet, every time Lucy asked what was wrong, she received the same non-committal answer as always. Lucy was forced to admit to herself, though, that she knew- or at the very least, strongly suspected what the real problem was…

As Lucy was sitting back down in the living room, hoping to distract herself with Christmas television, Luke had changed his clothes, pulled on a pair of gloves and made his way into the back garden, where his father was busy clearing things out of his shed.

“How much crap do you have in here?” Luke asked with a chuckle, which loudened when his father regarded him with an angry glare.

“Watch your mouth,” Paul jokingly cautioned. “Never insult a man’s mother, his football team or his shed.”

“Are these- are these mine and Lucy’s old schoolbooks?” Luke asked as Paul handed him a heavy box full of exercise books. “What do you need these for?”

“Whenever we need a trip down memory lane,” Paul replied with a chuckle. “And you never know, you might feel nostalgic one day, too. We’ve still got all of your old school photos, too- ehh, though I get you might not be as nostalgic to look at THOSE.”

“Given that in most of them, I’m wearing a grey pinafore and have my hair in pigtails, not really,” Luke snorted, smiling as his father nodded sympathetically.

“Do you- do you really have no pleasant memories of childhood?” Paul asked. “Like, not even past Christmases?”

“…Maybe a few,” Luke conceded. “Maybe I’m just, like, looking through rose-tinted glasses or something, but- I guess my childhood wasn’t THAT bad. Heh, dunno if I’d be saying that if you still saw me as ‘Lucy’, though.”

“I get that,” Paul said as he handed his son another box, one full of old toys.

“Ah- now THESE you can get rid of,” Luke snorted as he opened the box to reveal a pile of old dolls and their clothes- dolls he’d been given as presents in Christmases past but had barely, if ever, played with. “Absolutely zero nostalgia here.”

“Well- aye, true, I guess,” Paul sighed. “When charity shops start to reopen, I’ll see if they’re interested, though I suppose you could always put them on eBay if you wanted?”

“Why me?” Luke asked as he examined the old toys.

“They’re still your possessions,” Paul replied with a shrug. “You’re the one racking up all that student debt, might as well put the dolls to some good use, right?”

“Well- I guess,” Luke sighed. “Though I’d feel kinda, like, wrong if I didn’t split the money evenly with Lucy, like.”

“It’s your choice,” Paul said, before smiling and chuckling proudly. “Though it does make me, you know, happy that the two of you are still so close even after making all your new uni friends.”

“What we do, we do together,” Luke retorted. “Always. That’s, like, something me and Lucy say to each other, and it’s a promise we both take VERY seriously.”

“Glad to hear it,” Paul said softly as he began passing his son chairs from the middle of his shed.

A short while later, the two men returned to the house with the folding wooden seats, smiling as they saw Lucy still curled up on the sofa with a mug of tea, the remote control and a tub of Quality Street.

“…In fairness, ya did do a good job with the decorations,” Paul chuckled, earning a tired smile from his daughter. “Anything good on TV?”

“Just the usual stuff,” Lucy replied. “I take it we’re all watching The Snowman later, as usual?”

“Aye, not even covid can keep that off the TV, heh,” Paul replied with a sad smile. “I remember seeing it when it was first on TV- heh, almost forty years ago now. Bawled my eyes out at the ending, which- heh. Ya granddad did NOT approve of that, heh…”

“Yeah…” Lucy said, fidgeting awkwardly as her father got a faraway look on his face. “Umm, anyway, it- it’ll be nice to, like, be allowed to cry at it this year.”

“I hope that doesn’t mean that I’m not,” Luke said with a chuckle as he and his father stacked the chairs in the hallway.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year,” Paul said, “it’s that it’s pointless to try to keep the two of yas from doing what ya want to do! Heh, and on the subject of TV, is there a Christmas special of Pointless on today at all?”

“Umm… might be, I’d need to check the Radio Times,” Lucy replied.

“I always thought you two should apply to go on that,” Paul mused, chuckling as his children simultaneously rolled their eyes. “I’m serious! You’re both easily smart enough to. And as I was just saying to Luke, you’re both going to have a mountain of student debt once you’ve graduated.”

“Aye, but I can just picture the Twitter comments now,” Lucy snorted.

“Who cares about a bunch of anonymous keyboard wankers?” Paul retorted. “I’m certain they’ve had trans contestants on there before.”

“Well- we’ll think about it,” Luke said, hoping to pacify his father and get him to drop the subject. “I’m just going to see if mam needs a hand.”

“Okay,” Paul said as his son headed toward the kitchen.

“Hey mam,” Luke said as he looked over the food that was being prepared for the following day. “Need a hand with anything?”

“Umm, nope, I’ve got everything in hand here,” Sarah replied bluntly. O-kay, Luke thought to himself.

“Are you- are you making the Christmas gingerbread men this year?” Luke asked.

“Ah- no, I’m not,” Sarah replied. “I thought that, maybe, you two are- are getting a bit old for them, that’s all.”

“Well- okay,” Luke said, not disguising his disappointment. “Can- can I have a go at it if you don’t want to?”

“Are- are you sure?” Sarah asked. “Is it something that you’d- well, you’d want to do? Normally, I mean?”

“Sure, don’t see why not,” Luke said with a shrug as he tried not to grimace at his mother's reluctance. “…If you mean ‘is baking a thing a boy would want to do’, well, most of the guys at uni watched Bake Off this year- admittedly, there wasn’t much else to do on Tuesday evenings, but- yeah.”

“If you say so,” Sarah said with a shrug. “It’s just- when you were younger, making the gingerbread men was always something we used to do together, as mother and daughter.”

“…Why does that mean we can’t do it together now, as mother and son?” Luke asked, smiling sympathetically as his mother remained silent, contemplating her response.

“It’s- it’s kinda hard to know what I should do,” Sarah eventually replied. “For both of you. I feel like I’m treading on eggshells all the time, like- imagine that you wake up one morning and suddenly your children are completely different people to who you thought they were.” Luke bit his lip as he could see his mother struggling to control her emotions.

“…But we’re not children, not anymore,” Luke retorted. “We’re adults, and if you want, like, advice, or to know what we think or feel, you can always just ask us. As for your preconceptions… I can’t help you there. Only that you spent the last two Christmases trying to force me to be someone I’m clearly not. Now that you’ve finally accepted me for who I am, why not let me lead the way for once?”

“Because I’m your mam,” Sarah replied. “And I’m always gonna worry about you. Both of you. You know, it’s not impossible that you might be a mo- umm, a parent one day yourself.”

“Well- maybe,” Luke shrugged, consciously ignoring his mother’s near slip. “It’s not exactly high on my priority list.”

“Well- no, I accept that it wouldn’t be,” Sarah said, before chuckling. “And I’m no rush to be a grandma, before you say anything!”

“Wasn’t going to,” Luke said, sharing a quiet chuckle with his mother. “But when you think about it, though… were we- were we every really that close as mother and daughter, though?”

“I used to think we were,” Sarah replied, before sighing sadly. “Then again, I also used to think that you were a girl. It’s kinda hard to admit that you’re so wrong about something you were so certain about.”

“Aye, I can believe that,” Luke said softly. “But I’m happy to, like, put that behind me if you are.”

“So am I,” Sarah whispered, before smiling. “Go on, get the baking stuff out of the cupboard.” Sarah and her son shared a grin as they began mixing the dough together.

A short while later, Luke followed his mother into the living room, carrying a tray of the sweet treats, which immediately brought a smile to his father’s face.

“I thought I smelled those!” Paul said excitedly as he reached for the biscuit on the top of the tray, only for Luke to suddenly pull the tray away from him.

“Ah- the top two are reserved for me and Lucy,” Luke said, taking the two larger, elaborately decorated biscuits from the top of the pile and allowing his father to help himself to the rest.

“What’s this?” Lucy asked, looking up from her phone to find a gingerbread man- or rather, as she could immediately tell from the shape of the biscuit, a gingerbread woman- thrust in her face by her brother.

“I thought I’d make a couple of extra special ones, just for us,” Luke replied as he showed Lucy his own gingerbread ‘man’, which, like Lucy’s biscuit, was decorated with blue, pink and white icing in the design of the transgender pride flag.

“Ah, cool!” Lucy giggled, before smiling as Luke took a selfie of the two of them with their biscuits. “Wait, were you- were you baking with mum?”

“Yeah,” Luke replied. “I know, I know, I’ve whined about having to do it in the past, but- yeah. I hated it when I HAD to do it, but, like, CHOOSING to do it, it- it was pretty fun, you know?”

“Mm,” Lucy mumbled as she took a bite of her biscuit, while inside, she felt her stomach sink.

As a child, Lucy had always wished that she’d been allowed to join in with her then-sister and mother when they prepared the baked treats for Christmas, or for birthdays or other special occasions. Growing up, she’d hear Luke complain about how he was being forced to take part in activities he hated, but she’d love to do, and when they came out, Lucy had hoped it would help her grow closer to their mother. However, over the preceding nine months, Lucy and her mother had grown no closer than before she came out- and seeing her brother and their mother bonding so well even after they’d come out only served to rub salt into the wound for Lucy.

“Ah- Facebook comment incoming,” Luke said with a grin as he checked his phone. “Heh, it’s from Laura Ruddock of all people, says ‘OMG so jealous of those gingerbread people’, heh.” She’s not the only one, Lucy ruefully thought to herself.

“Who’s this Laura Ruddock then?” Paul asked with a playful chuckle. “I thought you both said you were single right now?”

“She- she’s a friend of a friend,” Luke replied. “Lives in London, went to school with our friend Priya. She- she’s also transgender, so, like, has been, like, advising, sort of thing.”

“Ah, so kinda like a support network, then?” Paul said.

“Aye,” Lucy replied with a shrug. “But, like, online only, as she lives in London.”

“Tch, what ISN’T online nowadays, thanks to covid?” Paul snorted. “But it’s good that the two of you do have this help to fall back on if you need it. As well as friends like Susie and Gavin up here, I mean.”

“Yep,” Luke said with a grin, as Lucy forced herself to smile, remembering that while they certainly had more friends than when they were children, they didn't have THAT many- certainly not when compared to Priya's 'other gang' in London.

“It would’ve been nice to actually hang out with them more, but- yeah, not much we can do about that, really,” Lucy mumbled. “We haven’t so much as met Laura face to face yet, or any of Priya’s other friends from London, so- yeah.”

“Well, covid won’t last forever,” Paul said with a shrug. “Especially not now we’re getting a vaccine for it. Heh, and speaking of which, after ya graduate yas’ll probably both be looking for jobs in London, heh. Just as long as ya both remember where home REALLY is.”

“…It’s not like there aren’t research firms in Newcastle,” Luke said, earning smiles from both of his parents as they enjoyed the baked treats.

As day quickly turned into twilight, followed shortly afterward by night, the family settled down in front of the television, all shedding a tear as they watched Raymond Briggs’s Christmas classic ‘The Snowman’ just as they’d done for every year of the twins’ lives. After a quick dinner, the twins headed up the stairs to Luke’s room, where they logged into Zoom, ready for the call to their grandparents in Spain.

“You okay?” Luke asked his sister softly as he set up his laptop.

“Hmm?” Lucy replied. “Umm, yeah, fine, why d’you ask?”

“You just seem a bit, you know, quiet, that’s all,” Luke mused. “Like, this is our first Christmas as our proper selves, and- well, I- I just thought you’d be a bit more excited, that’s all.”

“Meh, I guess I- I guess I’m just nervous, you know,” Lucy said. “Like, anxious about tomorrow, sort of thing. With what’s gonna happen, and all that, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Luke said, smiling as he gave his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze. “So… how’d you like the gingerbread ma- well, gingerbread girl? Reckon I can make the Bake Off next year, or maybe 2022?”

“…Best make it 2023, we’re probably gonna be busy with finals in 2022!” Lucy replied, sharing her brother’s chuckle.

“Aye, true,” Luke said. “Assuming we don’t also stay on to do a Master’s.”

“Have- have you been thinking about doing that?” Lucy asked.

“A little,” Luke shrugged. “Gonna wait to see what grade I get at the end of this year, though. And, of course, I’m only gonna do one if we BOTH do. What we do, we do together, right?”

“Always,” Lucy replied. Well, most of the time, she thought to herself, forcing herself to maintain her smile as Luke placed the call. Moments later, the faces of the twins’ maternal grandparents appeared on screen, Lucy noticing that the wide smiles they wore quickly faded as the twins came into view.

“H- hi, you two,” the twins’ grandmother said in an uneasy voice.

“Hi Nanna Julie, hi Grandpa Dave,” the twins replied, keeping the smiles on their own faces even as they fidgeted at their grandparents’ reaction.

“Umm… merry Christmas!” Luke said, before biting his lip anxiously.

“Merry Christmas!” Julie replied, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “I- I’m sorry, it’s just-“ You think we’re disgusting? Lucy ruefully thought to herself.

“No- no, it’s not that,” Dave said. “Your mam told us about your change, showed us photos and, well, prepared us for what to expect, it’s just- it’s just a bit of a surprise to actually see you- well, not in the flesh, but over camera in the flesh, if you get what we mean.”

“Yeah,” Lucy whispered as she felt her tension levels start to subside.

“But you both look very well,” Julie said, a proud smile slowly spreading across her face. “Your mam wasn’t lying when she said that this change has made the two of you happier than you were before.”

“MUCH happier,” Luke said with a smile.

“Totally,” Lucy concurred. “It’s like, we’ve been obsessed with making this change for so long that now we’ve made it, it’s, like, not weighing us down anymore, our minds, like.”

“I can see that,” Dave chuckled. “Very clearly, in fact. The two of you have this ‘glow’ about you that you didn’t before, if you get what I mean? It’s like you’re finally coming out of your shell, and not a moment too soon!”

“Though I imagine being at university is playing a part there,” Julie teased, making the twins grin bashfully. “Are you enjoying your second year?”

“Well, as much as we can,” Luke replied. “We’re still not allowed actually IN the Student Union bar, and at this time of year, the terrace isn’t really an option, heh.”

“Which got us some teasing from our southern friends,” Lucy interjected. “People going ‘aren’t Geordies supposed to be immune to the cold’ and all that.”

“I assume you didn’t tell them your grandparents moved to Spain specifically to get away from the cold?” Dave laughed.

“…It didn’t come up,” Luke chuckled.

“Though there’s no escaping from covid at the moment,” Julie sighed. “Here, there or anywhere. Are you locked down in Newcastle yet?”

“Err… sort of,” Lucy replied. “We’re in tier 3, so we can ‘bubble’ with relatives on Christmas Day, but we’re effectively locked down other than that.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of what we can and can’t do,” Luke said. “At home and at uni, I mean, I can train with the football team, but only, like, ball skills, and we’re not playing any actual matches either.”

“And no boyfriends or girlfriends either, then?” Dave teased, chuckling as his grandchildren both blushed.

“That’s- that’s not really a priority right now,” Lucy hastily replied.

“For either of us, really,” Luke said. “For one thing, the uni’s LGBT society’s been just as affected by lockdowns as everything else, so- yeah. Just our luck that we’d finally get away to uni only for the entire world to shut down, heh.”

“But you are at least enjoying it, I hope?” Julie asked.

“Totally,” Lucy replied with a smile.

“And it definitely helps that we’re both on the same course,” Luke said.

“Really?” Dave teased. “You’re not sick of each other after nearly twenty years, then?” The twins both smirked as they gazed at each other, before returning their attention to the camera.

“…Nah,” Luke and Lucy said simultaneously.

“What we do, we do together,” Luke said with confidence.

“Always,” Lucy concurred, finally fully relaxing as she and Luke spent the next hour entertaining their grandparents with tales of university life.

Later that evening, after whiling away their time watching television with their parents, the twins returned to Luke’s bedroom, where his laptop was still set up, and logged back in to Zoom for a call- however, both Luke and Lucy were much more enthusiastic about the call than their chat with their grandparents- because of who they'd be calling.

‘Hey you two!’ Kieran said with an excited giggle as he appeared on the twins’ screen, along with Gavin, Susie and Claudia.

“Hey, guys and girls!” Luke replied. “Is it just us tonight, then?”

“Priya’s in a call with her London friends,” Claudia replies. “As they’re in tier 4, so she can’t actually SEE any of them this Christmas- well, not face to face, anyway. Same with Phoebe, as she obviously can't fly back to America.”

“So you’re stuck with us, I’m afraid,” Gavin said, smirking as the twins chuckled.

“Trust me, we’re really not ‘stuck’,” Luke retorted. “If we were able to, we’d honestly be spending as much time with you guys as possible.”

“Ugh, I know that feeling,” Kieran sighed. “Just my luck that I turn eighteen just in time for covid to shut down Canal Street, right?”

“I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go on a night out there,” Gavin sighed sadly.

“And you will,” Kieran said. “The second things back to normal, we will.”

“Any chance we can visit Coronation Street while we’re there, too?” Claudia asked, smirking as she earned playful jeers from her friends.

“There’s more to Manchester than just two streets, you know,” Kieran scoffed.

“Aye,” Susie giggled. “Also, two football clubs that keep hogging all the trophies!”

“Really?” Lucy asked with a snort of laughter. “Talking about football, today of all days?”

“Christmas Eve and Boxing Day matches are traditional,” Gavin retorted with a shrug. “Just ‘cause we can’t actually go to SEE any of them…”

“Well, next time the Toon play on Boxing Day, AND fans are allowed in the ground, how about we go?” Luke asked. “Us four Geordies, anyway. Southerners can also come, assuming you don’t instantly freeze when you get off the train, anyway.”

“I was about to say, Newcastle in the middle of December…” Claudia teased, smirking and blushing as the four north easterners playfully jeered her.

“The weather might be shite, but the company’s awesome,” Susie said with a grin. “Are you all spending tomorrow with your families, then?”

“Yep,” Claudia replied.

“Same,” Kieran sighed. “Assuming I can put up with my brothers, anyway.”

“Are they being a pain?” Susie asked softly.

“Ugh, a- a little,” Kieran replied with a dramatic shrug that instantly brought smiles to both of the twins' faces.

“Is that shade on your nails part of why?” Lucy teased, smirking as her friend giggled while showing off the glittery purple polish on his fingernails.

“…Maybe,” Kieran replied with a blushing grin. “Well, I figured, why not embrace my queerness? Like, why should girls have all the fun?”

“I can’t argue,” Luke replied, “but I’ll leave all that ‘fun’ to you if you don’t mind, heh. Spent long enough trying to have less ‘fun’ if you get what I mean.”

“I do, and I agree completely,” Kieran said. “Not least because it leaves more ‘fun’ for the rest of us, hehe!”

“Speaking of which,” Luke said, “have you heard from Anthony at all over the holidays?”

“Who?” Gavin asked, before nodding as he remembered. “Oh, right, Mando.”

“Who?” Claudia asked, confusion written across her face.

“He’s in the LGBT society, a year below us,” Luke replied. “Another, like, trans guy. Big into Star Wars, wore a ‘This is the Way’ t-shirt on his first day so the nickname kinda stuck- mainly ‘cause Anthony himself encouraged it, heh.”

“And to answer the question, not really,” Gavin said. “I’d have thought he’d spend more of his time chatting with you than with anyone else- no offence, like, but because-“

“-Because trans guys have to help each other out, I get it,” Luke interrupted with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll shoot him a message later tonight, just wish him a Merry Christmas, like. I think he’s on good terms with his family, so- yeah.”

“And speaking of,” Susie said, “how are you two doing, like, when it comes to tomorrow?”

“…Nervous, I won’t lie,” Lucy sighed.

“But, like, mam and dad are on our side,” Luke said. “There’s nothing anyone can do or say that’ll stop us from being us or being back at uni come the new year. And do NOT mention Boris bloody Johnson saying ‘stay at home’ again!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Susie said with a smug grin that earned a giggle and eye rolls from the twins.

“I do, you know, worry a bit,” Lucy mumbled. “That, like, every Christmas will be like this. I don’t want to be known as the one who ruined Christmas for the family…”

“And you WON’T,” Luke insisted. “Remember what Livvy told us a few weeks ago: there’s nothing less reasonable than expecting us to stop existing just because it’d make some bigoted arsehole’s life somehow easier.”

“In fairness, she didn’t put it EXACTLY like that,” Kieran chuckled. “But she did have a point. Anybody who thinks that I’ve somehow ‘harmed’ them by doing this-“ the people on the call all grinned as Kieran held up his manicure again- “needs to stop being such a whiny little bitch. Even if they’re family. No- ESPECIALLY if they’re family.”

“And especially if they’re the type of people who yell ‘snowflake’ at anyone else for showing just a tiny bit of empathy,” Gavin snorted. “Like being a cold-hearted bastard is somehow better.”

“I suppose it’s, like, a self-reliance thing, maybe?” Claudia mused. “Like, this idea that people should be able to cope independently, overcome adversity or something.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had symptoms from my MS kicking my arse for the last ten years, so I know all about having to ‘overcome adversity’,” Gavin snorted, before frowning. “Ugh, sorry Claudia, I didn’t mean to take it out on you, just- yeah. You’d be pissed off too if you’ve had as many people as I have telling you ‘It can’t be that bad, just man up’ or shit like that. Like they’d be some kind of superman if they were disabled or something.”

“It’s kinda the same when it comes to gender dysphoria,” Luke said. “Not that I’m saying it’s a disability as such, but there were days before I started transitioning when it was VERY, like, disabling. And we get the same kinds of morons too, like, ‘can’t you present as a woman but still feel like a man on the inside’ or ‘is it really that bad being a girl?’. Well- yes, yes it is. For me. That’s the point.”

“Empathy,” Claudia said with an understanding nod. “Ugh- sorry if I’ve brought everyone’s Christmas Eve down, heh.”

“Well, we just watched ‘The Snowman’ for the twentieth time a while back, so we were kinda ‘down’ anyway,” Lucy said, earning a chuckle from her friends.

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Kieran sighed. “I think I first watched that when I was six, and I remember bawling my eyes out at the end. And then my older brother being on my back about it all Christmas.”

“Luckily, I know that my sibling will always have my back,” Luke said with a grin as he gave Lucy a gentle hug.

The call lasted for another two hours, before the twins decided to log off, both knowing that they would need all the energy they could spare for the following day. As she laid in bed later that night, Lucy found herself unable to sleep, and while this wasn't out of the ordinary for Christmas Eve, for the first time since she was a child, she found herself feeling excited about the following day. For the first time ever, she KNEW she’d be opening the presents she wanted to open- no shaving kits, no football boots, no aftershave or anything stereotypically masculine. However, as Lucy wondered what kind of gifts she would be opening, it suddenly dawned on her that the previous chapter of her life was over and wouldn't be coming back. It was a feeling that was becoming more and more frequent as she transitioned- that with every day that passed, she was venturing further and further into the unknown, and she grew more and more scared about what she might find as her journey progressed.

Nonetheless, Lucy was asleep when her alarm went off at 7am the following morning, and after stretching her tired muscles, she slid out of bed, wrapped her body in her warm purple dressing gown and padded across the landing, smiling when she saw her parents’ bedroom door open but her brother’s door still shut.

“Luke?” Lucy asked as she playfully knocked on the door, before taking a deep breath and singing. “Do you wanna build a snowman?”

“Yes, yes, I’m up,” Luke replied with a tired snort of laughter. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll be down in a minute, okay?”

“Okay,” Lucy said, smirking as she headed down the stairs, before gasping as she entered the living room.

Laid out in front of Lucy was a scene that was instantly familiar to her from all of her previous festive seasons- a Christmas tree in one corner of the room, decorated with all the ornaments that she and Luke had made throughout their time at primary school. Numerous Christmas cards of all shapes, sizes and colours were blu-tacked to the wall and a seasonal cartoon was playing on the television. What attracted Lucy’s attention the most, though, were the two piles of presents on the large sofa where they usually sat- one pile wrapped in blue wrapping paper, and one in pink. Lucy’s heart almost skipped a beat when she realised that for the first time ever, the pink-coloured gifts were meant for her, and not her brother.

“Merry Christmas, Lucy!” Paul said with a wide grin as he emerged from the kitchen, giving his daughter a tight, loving hug as she continued to take in the sight.

“Merry Christmas!” Lucy squeaked excitedly. “You- you’ve gone to a LOT of trouble this year, then!”

“Well, aye!” Paul chuckled. “You’d almost think we were your parents or something, heh. Is Luke not up yet?”

“He’s awake, I just talked to him,” Lucy replied. “He should be down in a bit. And yes, I’ll wait for him, heh.”

“Never said you wouldn’t,” Paul chuckled. “Some Christmas traditions will always be the same, at least.” Lucy bit her lip as she felt her father's words sting, but she chose to remain silent- after all, past traditions or not, her parents HAD accepted her as their daughter, and she was about to open ‘Lucy’s’ Christmas presents for the first time ever- something that would’ve been unimaginable to her twelve months earlier. However, the more she pondered this, the more she realised that it wasn’t an unreasonable thing to expect from her parents.

Lucy’s thoughts were interrupted a few moments later when her brother walked down the stairs clad in his own warm dressing gown and clutching a small, carefully wrapped package that he placed by the side of Lucy’s piled, earning a quizzical look from the young woman.

“Open that one last,” Luke instructed his sister, before grinning and giving her a tight hug. “And Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” Lucy giggled as she returned the hug. “So… NOW can we open the presents?”

“…Go on, then,” Paul replied with a tired chuckle, grinning as the twins eagerly started to tear into their gifts. “This is the most excited I’ve seen you be about your presents in ages, heh. …And in hindsight, I guess it’s easy to see why. But the important thing, the absolute most important thing is that the two of yas are happy. And on that note, don’t be afraid to tell me or your mam if ya don’t like any of the presents- we won’t be offended, we’ll just chalk it up as a learning experience and try a bit harder for your birthday.”

“Absolutely,” Sarah concurred as she emerged from the kitchen with warm mugs of tea for both of the twins. “Though we did put a lot of thought- a LOT of thought- into what we should get the two of you this year, so hopefully we got most of it right.”

As it turned out, though, the twins’ parents had got all of their presents right. Luke was ecstatic as he unwrapped a pair of brand-new Puma football boots and shin guards, as well as men’s deodorant sets, two new smart shirts, a pair of black trousers and a new pair of smart black men’s shoes. What excited Luke the most, though, was the shaving kit and designer aftershave that he unwrapped last.

“I realise you’ve not got any need for that yet,” Paul said, “but from what you’ve told me, ya will soon, so I figured it’s best to get that ready in advance rather than be caught out, if ya get what I mean.”

“I do, thanks,” Luke said, a genuine grateful smile spreading across his face. “Heh, looks like we both got shaving kits this Christmas then!”

“Yep!” Lucy giggled as she held up her brand-new women’s leg razor while Luke took a photo of them both with their gifts, which was almost instantly uploaded to Facebook. However, while Luke was clearly excited about his new present, Lucy found herself feeling more self-conscious than ever.

As she’d opened her presents, Lucy had initially felt just as excited as Luke. For the first time ever, she was unwrapping the gifts she’d dreamed of since she was a young child- make-up sets, bottles of designer perfume, two new dresses, a new smart pencil skirt, two tight sweaters and a pair of smart court shoes with a 2-inch heel. With every present that Lucy unwrapped, she felt more and more accepted by her parents, and yet, she still felt uneasy. She couldn’t help but notice that while her father was eagerly discussing teaching her brother how to shave, her mother was remaining silent- there was no discussion of, for example, shopping for her first bra. As awkward as Lucy felt, though, was nothing compared to what would come next.

“Now then, these presents,” Paul said as he produced two plain envelopes, one addressed to Luke and one to Lucy. “These are appointments- well, referrals, really. We’ve- we’ve given your details- not, like, as an obligation, but…” The twins frowned with confusion as their father’s voice nervously tailed off, before biting their lips anxiously as their mother continued for him.

“They’re referrals to a fertility clinic,” Sarah said bluntly as her children fidgeted. “To save- well, ‘cells’, in case- well, in case you want to have children at some point, you can, well, freeze ‘stuff’ here.”

“Obviously we don’t need to tell the science students what THAT entails,” Paul mumbled. “But- and don’t feel that you’re, like, under any obligation to take up these referrals. We would like to have grandchildren- like, eventually- but that’s entirely your choice to make, not ours.” Much like the ‘other thing’, Lucy thought to herself as she fiddled with the envelope.

“Well, regardless, the clinic isn’t going to be open on Christmas Day, so you don’t need to think about it right now,” Sarah said.

"O- okay," Luke whispered as he and Lucy carefully placed the letters on the coffee table.

“Well, anyway,” Paul said, slapping his hands on his thighs as he stood up. “I hope you’ve both had a better Christmas- well, so far, anyway- than yas usually do.”

“Oh- much better, thanks,” Lucy chuckled nervously.

“By miles,” Luke concurred.

“I’m glad to hear it, I really am,” Paul said with a warm, loving smile. “Yas both look a million times happier than I’ve seen you in years, especially since before- well, yeah.”

“Yep,” Lucy whispered.

“We should- we should probably get dressed,” Luke said. “What time- what time are grandpa and grandma coming round?”

“Lunchtime, same as always,” Paul replied, his mood suddenly darkening. “Go on, get yaselves dressed. Luke- you’d better go first, god knows how long ya sister will take in the bathroom!” Lucy rolled her eyes as her father laughed at his own joke, but as she moved aside to allow her brother to stand up, she grimaced as one final gift poked her in her side- the same gift Luke had handed her mere minutes earlier.

“…Almost forgot,” Lucy mumbled, blushing as her brother sat back down and looked at her with an expectant smile on his face. Lucy grinned as she unwrapped the present, before frowning as she uncovered what was inside. “…An old doll?”

“Aye,” Luke said, his expectant smile transforming into a proud grin. “Don’t you remember that one? I got it for Christmas when I was 11, just after we started secondary school.”

“I remember me being really jealous and you never playing with it,” Lucy replied, before rolling her eyes and smiling as their parents looked on with proud smiles. “…Thanks, I get- I get the gesture you’re trying to make. Well, succeeded at making. Heh, wish I’d kept some of my old football sticker albums now.”

“…Nah, you don’t,” Luke retorted, chuckling as his sister blushed and averted her eyes. “But that’s okay. They’d have gone mouldy in the shed anyway, heh. We- we’d better get dressed now.” Lucy smiled as she and her brother stood up, but before her brother left, she made sure to give him a long, loving hug, while their parents' smiles widened even further.

While Luke washed his face and brushed his teeth, Lucy sat alone in her bedroom trying to mentally psyche herself up for the day ahead. She smiled as she stared at the doll that she'd given pride of place on her shelf- a symbol of her ‘victory’, just like all of the other presents she’d received that day. However, it also served as a reminder of a goal that she wasn't convinced she could achieve. The doll was slender but curvy, had long, thin legs, long, golden blonde hair, a cute teardrop-shaped face and was unmistakably feminine in every imaginable way. Lucy, on the other hand, was tall, had a wide chest and shoulder, shoulder-length brown hair that was already thinning and an unmistakably masculine jawline. To Lucy, the doll represented everything she ever wanted to be… but also everything she knew she never would be.

However, Lucy knew her brother well enough to know that he wouldn’t have given her something to depress her, but something to aspire to. She knew that Luke didn’t have a poster of Callum Wilson on his wall as a reminder of what he can never be, but rather as something to aspire to. Luke would never be six feet tall and have a chiselled six pack, but he would be male- and in fact, he already was male, just as Lucy already was female. She deserved to not just be recognised as female, but celebrated as female- and she deserved to celebrate Christmas as the woman that she truly was.

Once Luke was finished in the bathroom, Lucy took her turn, brushing out her hair to maximise its volume and applying a subtle layer of make-up to her face. After returning to her bedroom, Lucy pulled on a panty girdle she had bought a while back- something she'd hoped would help with the shape of her body- before rolling a pair of opaque black tights up her smooth, hairless legs, straightening out any wrinkles before stepping into the new black pencil skirt she’d received that morning. After pulling on a tight purple turtleneck sweater (and taking care not to ruin her make-up), Lucy stood back and examined herself in her mirror.

Sure, she was still 5’ 11. Sure, the clothes she wore bore the numbers ‘14’ and ‘16’. And sure, she’d never win any beauty competitions, or look like the doll on her shelf. But she could look at the reflection in her mirror and say, unambiguously, ‘I am a woman’.

“Looking good!” Luke enthused as Lucy stepped out of her bedroom and did a twirl for her brother.

“Thanks!” Lucy giggled. “You’re looking very… smart too, hehe!” The twins shared a smile as Luke shrugged and showed off the smart shirt and trousers he was wearing.

“Selfie for Facebook?” Luke asked as he retrieved his phone from his pocket.

“…Sure, why not?” Lucy replied, posing for the selfie even as she felt nervous at the prospect of showing her look off to the entire internet- though even that paled in comparison to the confrontation that was looming.

“Looking good, you two,” Paul said with a nervous smile of his own as the twins descended the stairs into the living room. “Very- very grown up.” Damned by faint praise, Lucy thought to herself as she forced a smile on her face.

“Th- thanks,” Luke whispered as he and Lucy sat on the sofa, desperately trying to keep their nerves in check.

The twins tried everything they could think of to take their minds off of their grandparents' impending arrival, from browsing Facebook and exchanging occasional messages with their friends, to showing off their presents to each other to even watching the traditional Christmas Day service on television. However, time inevitably marched onwards, and shortly after 1pm, a knock came from the front door.

“Right,” Paul said as he stood up. “I’ll get that.” Luke smiled sympathetically as he felt his sister tremble with nerves next to him.

“Hey,” Luke whispered, gripping his sister’s hand for support. “It’s going to be okay, okay? There’s nothing they can do.”

“Easy for you to say when you’re not the one sat here in a skirt,” Lucy retorted.

“There-“ Sarah said hesitantly, before taking a deep breath. “There’s still time to change, if that’s what you want.” What, my clothes or my gender? Lucy thought to herself as she felt a wave of anger wash over her.

“…No,” Lucy said firmly, smiling as her brother’s grip on her hand tightened.

Seconds later, the door to the living room opened, and for the first time ever, Lucy came face-to-face with her grandparents as their granddaughter. Much to the twins’ surprise, though, rather than shout, or scream, or turn red with fury, Derek instead remained calm, with the exception of a single scowl as he glanced at the two teenagers. An awkward silence filled the room as Paul sat back down next to his wife, while Derek and Eileen remained standing, fidgeting awkwardly as they cast furtive glances at the two teenagers.

“M- merry Christmas,” Lucy said in a shaky voice.

“Merry Christmas indeed,” Derek snorted in reply, before letting out a sigh of pure disgust. “Ya know, I’ve had months ta think about this. Not like I’ve had owt else ta do with this bloody virus still hanging around. And I’ve come ta the conclusion that tha two of yas are both adults, and ya entitled ta do what ya want.” Luke and Lucy felt their hearts swell as they heard their grandfather speak- was a Christmas miracle about to happen? “That doesn’t mean I have ta like it, though.”

“…Oh,” Lucy mumbled as she suddenly felt very, very small under her grandfather’s angry glare.

“Dad-“ Paul said softly, only to be silenced as the elderly man continued talking, unaware or uncaring that his son wanted to speak.

“As far as I’m concerned,” Derek snorted, “yas are both nowt but a pair of silly kids, prancing around pretending ta be something ya not and ya never will be! And I ain’t gonna sit around and pretend that this shit is normal. Goodbye. I hope yas both proud of yaselves!”

“D- dad, wait!” Paul said, rising from his chair only to be silenced when his father turned around and pointed a finger in his face.

“And YOU-“ Derek snarled. “Are a disgrace of a father. Goodbye.” An awkward silence filled the room as the elderly couple left the house, slamming the door as they went.

“D- dad-“ Luke whispered.

“Well, anyway,” Paul said, clapping his hands together and forcing a smile on his face. “Guess that means there’ll be more food for the rest of us, won’t it? Maybe yas should call Susie to see if her and her mam want to help us eat it, I think ‘rule of six’ still applies with ‘tier three’ or whatever, like.”

“Dad, are- are you okay?” Luke asked.

“Hmm?” Paul replied, having barely even heard the question. “Oh- aye, I’m fine, really! We- we shouldn’t let all of this ruin our Christmas. I mean, what’s Christmas without a family argument, right? I’ll call them tomorrow, it’ll all be fine, you’ll see.” Luke nodded at his father’s insistence, but he knew instinctively that he was putting on a brave face and deep down inside, he was hurting.

“The real question,” Sarah whispered hesitantly, “is are you two okay?” Lucy bit her lip as she pondered her answer to her mother’s question. On the one hand, her brother was right- in a practical sense, nothing in her life had changed. She was still sat wearing the same clothes she was before her grandparents had visited. She was still Lucy. But that didn't stop her from feeling an inch tall- not even the calming grip of her brother’s hand on hers.

“Aye, we’re fine,” Luke replied, ignorant of his sister’s tension. “But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- if they’re going to speak to us like that, I will not be sorry if I never see them again.”

“Well, I-“ Paul replied, only to close his mouth as his son continued to talk.

“I know, I know, you would be sorry,” Luke said. “Even after he spoke to you like that?”

“He’s still my dad,” Paul said in a quiet, almost meek voice. “And I mean, he IS getting old. Ya dunno how much longer he’ll be around, him or ya grandma.”

“Well, we’re not the ones who need to compromise,” Luke said firmly. “You’ve said this yourself in the past.”

“And I stand by that,” Paul retorted. “Like I said, I- I’ll speak ta them tomorrow. We shouldn’t let it ruin our Christmas. YOUR Christmas.”

“…Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, even as she continued to fidget in her clothes, which were once a source of comfort and excitement, but suddenly felt more uncomfortable than ever…

The Miller family worked hard for the rest of the day to put the confrontation behind them, but despite their best efforts a dark cloud still hung over the household for the rest of the holiday. Before long, though, January came around and Luke and Lucy eagerly returned to their studies on campus- the one place they felt truly free to be who they were. Despite the continuing restrictions imposed as a result of covid, the twins wasted no time in settling back into their student lives, but the confrontation over Christmas continued to prey on their minds- especially Lucy’s.

Both twins were forced to ask themselves how big a price they would be prepared to pay to live the lives they wanted to live- and how big a price they were willing to ask others to pay for them…

“You okay?” Lucy asked her American friend, who paused to take several deep breaths before replying.

“Yeah,” Phoebe replied, momentarily lowering her mask to take a deep breath, but making sure to raise it back before exhaling. “I dunno if it’s the mask or not, but this is kinda harder than I remember!”

“Okay,” Kacey- the leader of the class- said as she observed the two students taking time getting their breath back. “I think that’s as good a time as any to take a break. Lucy, can I have a word please?”

“Hmm?” Lucy replied, surprised by her being singled out. “Umm, sure, what’s up?”

“Nothing’s up, I just wanted to see how you were,” Kacey replied. “We’ve not talked much since the start of the semester.”

“Yeah, things have been pretty busy,” Lucy replied. To put it mildly, the young woman thought to herself.

Following the confrontation with her grandparents at Christmas, Lucy had immersed herself in her work and her extra-curricular activities in an attempt to distract herself from the stress she felt, and the increasing feelings of discomfort she felt with her life. The confrontation has been brief- just a few minutes at most- but her grandfather had left a lasting mark on her when he’d said ‘prancing around pretending to be something you’re not’. Lucy had lived her life for over 15 months as a woman, and in all that time, she’d felt more alive than she ever had when she'd presented as a boy. She had no desire to go back to being a man, but she still felt anxious nonetheless. She was keenly aware that she was much taller and had broader shoulders than all of her friends. Every time she spoke, she had to make a conscious effort to soften and lighten her voice. And even though no one dared to confront her directly, she knew the reaction she elicited from the students who weren’t her friends. With every day that passed, Lucy found herself wondering more and more if the 'end result' was worth the extra effort she had to put into her feminine life...

“Yeah, my second year’s been pretty hectic too,” Kacey said sympathetically. “Think everyone’s has, heh. But at least we’re allowed to dance again… sort of, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said, half-listening to her friend.

“Anyway,” Kacey continued, “me and the other dance societies have talked, and when the restrictions have eased enough that we can have, like, full audiences, we want to put on a proper stage performance, like a variety dance show. I thought that 'Happy' by Pharrell would be a perfect song for the circumstances and I was wondering if you’d be interested?” Huh, so I’d literally be prancing around pretending to be something I’m not, Lucy self-pityingly thought to herself.

“I- I’ll think about it,” Lucy replied with a tired-looking smile.

“Okay, well, there’s no rush, I guess,” Kacey said, smiling beneath her mask. “Even with everyone now getting vaccines it looks like covid’s going to be here for a LONG time.”

“Yep,” Lucy sighed.

“Typical that it’d be our time at uni that gets ruined by it, eh?” Kacey asked rhetorically as Lucy stealthily sighed behind her mask. “Still, I suppose all we can do is make the most of what we’ve got, heh. Speaking of, got anything planned for the rest of the evening?”

“Just hanging out with Luke,” Lucy replied. “Comparing study notes, that sort of thing. Might get on a group call with everyone later, haven’t made my mind up yet.”

“Fair enough,” Kacey said with a shrug. “Well, give my love to your brother and I’ll see you on Friday!”

“Sure!” Lucy chuckled, forcing a smile underneath her mask before walking away and reuniting with the rest of her friends.

“Hey Lucy!” Claudia said with a giggle as the tall girl approached. “What did Kacey want to talk to you about?”

“Umm, same thing I think she’s talking to everyone about,” Lucy replied. “The after covid performance thing, like.”

“Ooh, yes!” Priya giggled excitedly. “It’s been AGES since I last danced on stage. Heh, since anyone last danced or did ANYTHING on stage, I suppose. My sister was just telling me the other day that it looks like her end of year uni performance will be over Zoom again- well, ‘again’ as in her last year of further education also had a Zoom performance, like.”

“Your sister’s studying drama, isn’t she?” Phoebe asked.

“Yep,” Priya replied. “Well, 'Theatre Studies'. Didn’t I introduce you to her over Christmas?”

“You may have done, heh,” Phoebe replied. “For most of the break I was on Seattle time, so memories are kinda fuzzy, heh.”

“Heh, fair enough,” Priya chuckled, before turning to Lucy. “You remember talking to Suri at Christmas, don’t you, Lucy?”

“Hmm?” Lucy replied, having only been half-listening to the conversation. “Oh- aye, a little. Sorry, I was miles away just then, I was- I was thinking about, like, performing on stage, heh. Never done it before, so- yeah.”

“Welcome to the club,” Phoebe said with a nervous chuckle that Lucy echoed. “Heh, and it looks like we’re about to get the stink eye for hanging around too long. Catch you all on Zoom later?”

“Sure,” Lucy said, forcing yet another smile behind her facemask, before sighing and heading toward one of the university’s sports fields, where she expected to find her brother.

Just as his sister finished dancing, Luke stretched his body to cool down after a long session on the pitch with the other members of the university’s football society. Like Lucy’s dance society, Luke and the rest of his team had to maintain a two-metre distance from each other, but this hadn’t stopped them from continuing to work on and improve their skills. With fewer freshers having joined the society the previous September, and many established members choosing not to return due to covid=related concerns, Luke had found himself suddenly elevated to being one of the most senior members of the team, and in consideration for the society's 'A' team. While the prestige of the potential role excited him and motivated him to train harder, he still felt a sense of caution- firstly, that there was no guarantee he would be picked for the team; secondly, the ongoing situation meant there was a chance there would be no matches, meaning no one would be picked for the team; and thirdly, Luke remained wary of those on the team who still saw refused to see him as the man that he truly felt he was.

“Come on, you kick like a girl!” The unmistakable Yorkshire accent of James Barnes has called several times throughout the training session, and while Luke knew consciously that the jibe wasn’t directed at him, it still stung with every repetition, and he found himself feeling almost relieved when the team's captain had blown his whistle to end the session.

“Alright, good work everyone,” James Thorn called, applauding his team as they returned their balls to the equipment crate and headed past the changing room, still dressed in their kit.

“It still seems weird that we can’t even shower,” one of the newer members of the team- one Luke hadn't been fully acquainted with- commented. “I mean, we’re literally washing our whole bodies when we do that, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, but covid’s spread by water droplets,” Luke retorted. “So you’re literally breathing in and out steam while you shower, so- yeah.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s the only reason you don’t want to shower with the rest of us, isn’t it?” Another member of the team asked, making Luke frown and roll his eyes- though what angered him more were the members of the team who laughed along with the 'joke. Will this ever end? Luke angrily thought to himself.

“Shut up, Barnes,” Luke snorted, even though he knew that it wasn’t his regular tormentor who had insulted him. Luke allowed himself a sly smirk, though, when he got the reaction he expected.

“What?” Barnes protested. “I didn’t say anything!”

“Only ‘cause someone else beat you to it,” Luke retorted, allowing himself a wider smile as his jibe earned laughs from his team-mates- even if, as Luke noted, they were much quieter than the insult that had been directed at him.

Luke allowed himself to bask in his small ‘victory’ as he split off from the group and headed back toward his corridor, stopping off to shower before heading back to his room and booting up his laptop and opening up his coursework. Luke had only managed twenty minutes of work, though, before his computer beeped to notify him of an incoming Zoom call. Despite his need to focus on his coursework, Luke found himself grateful for the distraction- especially after the events of the afternoon.

“Hey Luke!” Gavin greeted his fellow Geordie. “Good training session?”

“Aye, it wasn’t bad,” Luke replied with a shrug. “Got a good sweat on, that sort of thing.”

“Cool,” Kieran said with a quiet giggle. “Are we interrupting anything? You seem kinda distracted, is everything okay?”

“Nah, I’m okay,” Luke replied. “Just got a lot of coursework, that’s all.”

“Join the club,” Gavin chuckled. “We can leave you be, if you’d like?”

“Ah- hell no,” Luke said with a wide grin. “Trust me, the distraction is more than welcome, heh.”

“Are you still getting grief from some of the other players on the team?” Kieran asked softly. “Now that you’re, like, in a more senior side?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Luke replied with a smirk as he remembered his earlier ‘banter’ with Barnes. “I am missing my favourite cheerleaders though, heh.”

“Oh- shut up, you,” Gavin snorted as the three friends shared a chuckle, before grinning widely as another friend joined the chat. “Hey Anthony! Didn’t think we’d see you online today?”

“Well, it’s not like I had any better offers,” the young transman replied, smirking as his friends all playfully jeered. “Seriously though, how is everyone today?”

“Good,” Luke replied with a grin. “Bit tired as just been at football practice and got a ton of coursework piling up, but glad of the distraction, heh.”

“Yeah, same here,” Anthony said. “Well, not the football, but the coursework, heh. And speaking of, I’m still convinced I’m on the wrong dose of T as I've been sweating buckets lately even without exercising, but I’m still no closer to seeing a doctor about it than I was a few months ago.”

“Have you talked to your counsellor about it?” Kieran asked, smirking as Luke and Anthony looked at him quizzically. “…What? Just ‘cause I’m not trans myself, doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep, you know, up to date on trans issues. Got to be a good ally, right?”

“I never doubted it,” Luke said with a smirk, his smile widening as he heard a knock on his door. “Just a sec, be right back.” The young man suppressed a chuckle as he opened his door to find his sister standing in front of him with an unimpressed look on her face.

“’Meet me on the field after practice’, he says,” Lucy said with a scoff as her brother squirmed. “’We’ll head back to my room together’, he says.”

“Ah- sorry…” Luke said with a grimace, before sighing and rolling his eyes as his sister giggled.

“I’ll let ya off this time,” Lucy said as she sat down on her brother’s bed and waved to their friends on-screen. “Hey fellas!”

“Hi Lucy!” Gavin said with a wave. “Ya just back from street dance?”

“Aye,” Lucy replied. “So I’m a bit sweaty as I’ve not had chance to shower yet- would apologise but one thing about Zoom calls: there’s no smell-o-vision, heh!”

“Already had that discussion with Luke and Ant, heh,” Kieran said with a smirk as Luke rejoined his sister on his bed. “Any of the other girls gonna join us on the chat?”

“What are you, straight?” Gavin teased the young man, who sighed and rolled his eyes in reply.

“Just don’t want Lucy to feel outnumbered,” Kieran replied. “I WOULD call this call a sausage fest, but let’s face it, that’s not all THAT appropriate under the circumstances.”

“Meh, I thought it was funny,” Anthony said with a quiet chuckle. “Though I’m also voting for more girls on the call.”

“Though you ARE straight,” Gavin retorts, before chuckling. “Okay, hang on, I’ll just invite everyone in…” The twins smiled happily as the faces of Claudia, Phoebe, Priya and Susie all appeared on their screen.

“Hey everyone!” Priya giggled. “Long time no see for all the other girls, heh!”

“Well, most of the other girls,” Susie retorted, smirking as Priya blushed. “It’s okay. I think I needed a break from lanthanides and actinides before my hair caught fire, heh.”

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Gavin snorted. “Obviously, if anyone needs to drop out of the call to do coursework, feel free to do so at any time.” The twins allowed themselves a giggle as a brief silence fell over the call, while no one left.

“Yeah, didn’t think so,” Kieran chuckled. “Even if second year is WAY more intense than first, heh.”

“Maybe cover your ears, Anthony,” Luke teased, smirking as his fellow trans man rolled his eyes.

“Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t afraid of a little hard work,” Anthony retorted. “I WAS expecting uni life to be a little, like, ‘louder’, but there’s nothing any of us can do about that, I guess.”

“We can always make our own noise,” Kieran said with a smirk. “Though I hope for your sake- and ours, really- that we’re allowed to have face-to-face meetings of the LGBT society again before you leave uni. Now THEY were fun!”

“Absolutely,” Susie concurred. “And I know you’ve talked a lot with Livvy, right?”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool,” Anthony replied with a grin. “As are all of you of course, heh!”

“Right answer,” Gavin said. “And you’re spending the evening with us instead of your London gang, Priya?”

“My sister and Laura are busy rehearsing for their latest Zoom performance,” Priya explained. “Three of the other girls are also at uni, one’s in the last year before uni and one’s livestreaming a dance class, so- erm, I mean, it’s not that I don’t WANT to hang out with you all, but-“

“Nah, I get it,” Lucy said. “We’re friends, but they’re- in the case of your sister, literally- family.” Luke smiled as his sister wrapped an arm around him to emphasise the word ‘family’.

“No reason you guys can’t be family too,” Priya said with a shrug. “The family you choose is always more real in a way than the family you were born with, right?”

“Ugh, tell us about it,” Luke snorted. “For starters, you can choose not to have transphobic bigots in your family.”

“Or homophobic,” Kieran interjected.

“Or racist,” Priya snorted. “Not that anyone in my biological family is racist- well, obviously- but- yeah. First year of secondary school was NOT fun, before my sister joined the following year, anyway.”

“Well, I hope we’ve all helped to make year 1 and 2 so far of uni better for you,” Gavin said, chuckling as the Indian girl smiled and nodded. “Same goes for you, Ant.”

“Oh- trust me, you have,” Anthony said with a sad chuckle. “Secondary school really was a choice between ‘pretend to be a girl’ or ‘be everyone’s punching bag’. I tried to get through it, like, slowly- I mean, I last wore a skirt to school when I was twelve, my hair hasn’t been long enough to cover my ears since I was fourteen and I’ve never worn make-up at all. That didn’t stop some of the morons shouting stuff like ‘hey lezza, show us your tits’ or stuff like that. And even worse, my parents actually used that as an argument, like, ‘do you want to be like those boys’. Well- no, no I don’t. But those boys aren’t, like, the only representatives of what it is to be male, if you get what I mean.”

“Totally,” Priya whispered. “It sounds so much like what Laura and Ashley went through at school, only they were physically assaulted as well- not that I’m saying what you went through is any better, like.”

“Nah, I get it,” Anthony said. “I’m just glad that there so much less of that shit at university, heh. Like, wearing normal clothes instead of a uniform somehow makes you more mature, I dunno.”

“And none of us have been, like, physically hurt,” Lucy said. “Also, at secondary school, there’s no, like, formal support group dedicated to making the lives of LGBT people easier, like there is here.”

“That’s why ‘informal support groups’ like us are so important,” Priya said.

“Not to mention so cool,” Kieran said to the approval of the entire call. “And no offence, but I think we’ve had enough seriousness for one night!”

“Good, ‘cause I’ve thought of tonight’s topic, hehe!” Claudia said, earning good-natured teasing from her friends as she uncharacteristically raised her voice. “What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?”

“That IS a good one,” Gavin conceded. “And I’m surprised that you, Miss Chapman, came up with a topic that’s so obviously open to erotic interpretation!” The petite blonde girl blushed as her friends let out quiet, teasing chuckles.

“Obviously, don’t share anything that you don’t want to,” Claudia giggled bashfully.

“Oh- nuh-uh,” Kieran teased. “You brought it up, you go first!” The assembled young people all grinned as Claudia blushed, before speaking.

“Well- okay,” Claudia said. “It’s actually one I had last night, which is, like, why I thought of the topic. I was in my childhood home- in Coventry- and I was getting ready for school, when all of a sudden everything in my bedroom turned into soup. Like, my furniture, my bed, my TV, everything: soup. And it’s weird, ‘cause even though it was red and looked a little like blood, I instantly knew it was soup. It didn’t turn into puddles or anything, everything was the same shape as it was before, it was just made out of soup. So naturally, I was a bit confused by this, so I opened the door, went downstairs to find my parents, but instead of my living room, it was a horse stable from where I used to ride when I was younger, but instead of the pony I used to ride, instead there was-“

“Soup?” Kieran asked, giggling as the blonde girl rolled her eyes.

“No,” Claudia replied. “It was- and I have no idea why- a topless Richard Hammond cooking burgers on a barbecue. Whatever the hell THIS means, I have no idea.”

“If I had to guess,” Gavin said, “you’ve been stuck inside for too long, you’re sick of processed food, or you fancy middle-aged short blokes. Or all three. God knows I think we’ve ALL been stuck inside for too long.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Susie said with a sad sigh. “Not that it isn’t fun already, but this chat would be a lot more fun in the student bar, heh.”

“Annnnd for bringing the mood down, you’re next!” Kieran teased the ginger-haired girl, who sighed and rolled her eyes before taking a deep breath and recounting the tale of her dream.

As they listened to their friends’ stories, Luke and Lucy both mused on how such a disparate group of people had only come together and become friends because of the bond between the two of them. Luke’s friends were football fanatics who were gay and male, while Lucy’s friends didn’t care even remotely about football and were all female, cisgender and straight. And yet, to them, it never felt like there were two discrete groups interacting- it was all one, close-knit group of friends, just as Luke and Lucy had been individual, yet inexorably connected for their whole lives.

The chat continued until late evening, by which point most of the group of friends had dropped out to work on their coursework, Luke and Lucy included. The twins beavered away for over two hours until they were virtually unable to think anymore, at which point Lucy returned to her room, tired from the day’s exertions but eager to start again the following day.

Lucy woke with her alarm the following morning, and after stretching, set about her morning routine with a smile on her face, even if said smile was partly forced. After relieving herself and showering, she returned to her room and sighed as she sat down in front of her mirror. Months of hormone treatments had finally started to have the desired effect on her body- her skin was softer, her waist was narrower, and her hips had started to widen- but there were some places where oestrogen couldn’t reach.

The shape of Lucy’s face was still unmistakably masculine, not helped by it being attached to her 5’ 11” body. What frustrated Lucy more, though, was the feeling of coarse stubble as she ran her fingers over her cheek. Lucy had discussed laser hair removal treatment with her counsellor, but covid had prevented any action from being taken, meaning Lucy still needed to shave her face regularly. Her hair had grown long, past her shoulders, but with no salons open it lacked any style or definition besides 'long', and Lucy groaned with frustration as brushing her hair only seemed to emphasise her split ends. After applying her make-up- and wincing at the feel of her liquid foundation against her freshly-shaved skin, Lucy pulled on her underwear, frowning as she performed the complicated steps to 'tuck' herself within her panties, before smiling as she felt the soft cotton of her bra touch her sensitive nipples- even if she only barely filled the A cup of the soft garment. After rolling a pair of soft, opaque black tights up her legs, Lucy stepped into a grey tank bodysuit for extra warmth before pulling on her trusty university hoodie and favourite short denim skirt.

“Looking not bad, Miss Miller,” Lucy mumbled to herself with a smile as she bent down to retrieve her dark pink converse. As she did, though, she felt a 'pop' come from her crotch, followed by the sudden feeling of the flaps of her bodysuit hanging loosely against her thighs. “…Fuck.” Lucy groaned as she lifted her skirt to reveal the separated flaps of the undergarment, before sighing as she removed her hoodie and bodysuit, discarding the latter garment on her bed and replacing it with a soft cotton camisole before pulling her hoodie back on.

“Must’ve shrunk in the wash,” Lucy mumbled as she grabbed her bag and headed out into the corridor, smirking as she saw that her brother’s door was still locked and there was no sound coming from the other side of it. “Yoo-hoo? Wakey wakey!”

“Yes, yes, I’m awake,” Luke replied from the other side of the door. “Just a sec…” Lucy stood back as Luke emerged from his room clad in his usual baggy jeans, brown walking boots and hoodie combo with his own bag slung over his shoulder. Lucy mused on how, despite his shorter stature, her brother already projected the image of a confident young man- his chest was flat- though Lucy knew this to be due to use of a chest binder- he had light, wispy hair of his own growing from his chin- which Lucy knew her brother was very reluctant to shave off- and his hair, while not ‘short’, was scruffily ‘styled’ in a masculine way. Anybody looking at Luke wouldn’t think twice about him declaring himself as male- those who weren’t in the know already, anyway.

Those ‘in the know’ included everyone on the twins’ course, but to their continuing relief and appreciation, none of their fellow students batted an eyelid as the two of them entered and took their usual seats along the row from Susie & Phoebe (social distancing preventing the four from sitting closer together). Just like all of their fellow students, they paid close attention in their lectures and worked hard in their lab work, and just like all of their fellow students, they breathed a sigh of relief when their classes ended for the day and they were able to relax for the rest of the day. As they headed back to their rooms, though, Luke and Lucy were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice from behind.

“Hey, Luke! Lucy!” The voice of Livvy Straw- the chair of the university’s LGBT society- called out. “Have you got a sec?”

“Sure!” Lucy replied with a smile. “Didn’t think we’d see you before the meeting tonight?”

“Yeah…” Livvy replied awkwardly, confusing the twins with her demeanour. “It’s kinda why I want to talk to you, like- about the meeting. Like, not just tonight’s, but going forward.”

“Umm… okay?” Luke asked, his confusion deepening.

“Okay…” Livvy said, before taking a deep breath. “I’m just going to come out and ask: would either or both of you be interested in joining the committee for the society? Only it’s getting on for finals time, and most of the committee are in their third year, and not many guys from your year or even the freshers stepped up to replace them, so- yeah. Lots of vacancies- not that I’m saying I’m coming to you because we’re desperate, but- yeah. If you’re interested, just let me know and I’ll see what we can do?”

“Umm- well, it’s not something we’ve really thought about, to be honest with you,” Lucy replied. “I mean, we’re flattered to be asked, but- yeah.”

“We’re not really all that, like, ‘big’ on politics, if ya get me,” Luke concurred.

“Well, you don’t have to be,” Livvy retorted. “It’s not, like, a political thing, it’s more a ‘helping out others’ thing. And I know you two have been helping out Anthony a lot, and you’re always willing to lend a friendly ear to anyone else who might need one.”

“Well- aye,” Luke said with a shrug. “You can never have too many friends, right?”

“Well, that’s what I’ve heard, anyway!” Livvy giggled. “Anyways, I’ve got to go, see if I can get a few more recruits, but I’ll see you tonight at the meeting!”

“See you then!” Lucy said, smiling behind her mask and waving as her friend left.

“Ooh- actually, before I forget,” Livvy said, turning back toward the twins, “did you see which way Susie went, Susie Parker?”

“Umm, aye, she went off toward the library, I think,” Luke replied. “She’s even less ‘political’ than us, though. Very, like, overtly so, too.”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” Livvy said with a nonchalant shrug. “But, you know, it’d be rude not to ask, right? I’ll see you guys this evening.”

“Sure,” Luke said as he started to smirk.

“See you,” Lucy said with a wave, before giggling and turning to her brother. “So then, Livvy and Susie?”

“Couldn’t really be any more obvious,” Luke said with a smirk as they headed back toward his room.

After a quick dinner, the twins spent the late afternoon doing coursework, before putting it to one side as the clock ticked over to 6:55pm. Grinning with excitement, Lucy opened up her laptop and logged on to the Zoom meeting, giggling as their arrival was met with cheers.

“Hi everyone!” Lucy said as she and Luke waved to the eight friends of theirs who were already on the call.

“Hey guys!” Livvy replied for the group. “Did you have a good afternoon?”

“Aye, same as always, I guess,” Luke replied. “Did you catch up with Susie in the end?” The twins smirked- as did many of the other students on the call- as their friend blushed.

“Yes, I did,” Livvy replied. “And no, she isn’t interested either. In- umm, in being on the committee, like. In fact, hardly anyone I’ve spoken to has been interested. Those I didn’t catch up with, on the other hand…” Luke and Lucy shared the chuckles of everyone else on the call as their Mancunian friend's face appeared on screen. “And what time do you call this, Mr Baxter?”

“Five minutes before the stated start time of the meeting,” Kieran replies, earning giggles from all present. “And I’d heard you were on the warpath- well, whatever the recruiting equivalent of a warpath is, anyway.”

“Word DID spread, then,” Livvy chuckled.

“Yep, but not quickly enough,” Kieran replied with a sly grin. “As you can count me 100% IN.”

“Ah- really?” Livvy asked.

“Sure, why not?” Kieran replied. “I’m on top- careful now- of my coursework, and outside of this society it’s not like anyone has ANY kind of social life right now, so we need each other more than ever, right?”

“Too right,” Gavin concurred. "Even if we do already spend most of our time away from the committee hanging out as well..."

"Never heard you complain before, honey," Kieran retorted, giggling along with the rest of their friends as Gavin mimed a kiss at the screen.

“Alright, we’d better get this thing started,” Livvy said as she tried to stifle her laughter. “I think everyone’s here who’s gonna be here?”

“Almost,” Lucy replied, grinning as she pinned Susie's window on her screen.

“Ah, hello Sparkler!” Livvy tease, giggling as the flame-haired girl blushed.

“I told you not to call me that in p- at all,” Susie replied, her cheeks reddening further as her friends all ‘ooh’ed. “What- what did I miss?”

“Look at you, changing the subject!” Abbey- the society’s vice-chair and one of the twins’ friends from the year above them- teased. “We haven’t even started yet, heh. Just waiting for everyone to log on.”

“Though Kieran did agree to be our ‘gang’s’ rep on the committee,” Luke said with a smug grin as the young Mancunian man blushed and giggled bashfully.

“Sweet!” Susie chuckled. “Now I know who to pester next time the bar runs out of beer. Which will probably be the next time we’re allowed in it, heh.”

“I’ll probably be the reason the bar runs out of beer,” Kieran retorted, earning laughter from everyone on the call as Livvy called the meeting to order.

Ninety minutes later, after the meeting wrapped up, the twins packed away their things and got ready to head to their respective beds, only to be suddenly interrupted.

“Who’s that?” Lucy asked as her brother’s phone chimed to let him know of an incoming video call.

“Umm… Thorny,” Luke replied, smirking as his sister frowned with confusion. “James Thorn, captain of the uni football team.”

“Ah, cool,” Lucy nonchalantly replied. “Want me to give you some privacy?”

“Nah, it’s probably just about tomorrow’s training session,” Luke replied as he answered the call. “Hi James!”

“Hi Luke!” The captain of the team replied with a smile. “I’m just ringing round everyone about tomorrow’s training session.”

“Is it- is it cancelled?” Luke asked.

“No, the opposite actually!” James chuckled. “We’re going to start doing defensive drills again, but in, like, a limited way. Basically, one player will be attacking, they have to make it past two defenders. I’m just letting you now as obviously, we’ll have to be masked for this, and it’s your choice if you want to take part in it or if you’d rather sit this one out.”

“Nope, sounds fun to me,” Luke replied with a smirk.

“Cool!” James said. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then!”

“See you!” Luke said, waving as the call ended while his sister sat back and fidgeted awkwardly.

“…Do you like him?” Lucy asked hesitantly.

“Hmm?” Luke replied. “Aye, he’s okay, I guess.”

“Ah- no, I- I mean, like, do you ‘like’ like him?” Lucy clarified.

“…What, as in- as in ‘like’ like/” Luke replied. “…I dunno. I mean, like, he’s good looking- objectively, like. Where did THAT question come from all of a sudden?”

“I dunno,” Lucy replied. “You seemed to, like, ‘like’ him, I guess. It’s just- heh. When you think about it, we spend all of our time hanging out with gay guys and straight women. And it’s not like either of us are rushing to start a relationship, and, like, I’m not sure if we would even without covid being a thing.”

“Okay…” Luke said. “Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something that you think will really offend me?”

“’Cause we’re 19 years and 11 months old and we’ve known each other for 20 years and 8 months?” Lucy replied, making her brother smirk. “I mean, though, nearly a year and a half into uni and neither of us have had, like, any dates. And while I guess you could blame covid for that, it hasn’t stopped Susie and Livvy, or Claudia and her boyfriend, like.”

“Well- I guess not,” Luke shrugged. “Luce, are you- are you feeling okay? ‘Cause this has kinda come out of nowhere, like.”

“Not really,” Lucy replied. “It’s something that’s been on my mind for ages, like.”

“Well, this is the first you’ve talked about it, though,” Luke retorted.

“I suppose,” Lucy shrugged. “But- you know? When it comes to reasons why I’m not in a relationship, Covid’s like, WAY down the list. And we both know what’s top of that list.”

“I think I do, but say it anyway,” Luke said, trying not to show his irritation at what his sister was hinting.

“If you insist,” Lucy said. “The fact that I’m nearly six feet tall, I’ve got a torso like a rugby player, a jaw like David Coulthard, and oh yes: I have a penis.”

“Does any of that matter, though?” Luke asked. “I’m 5’ 4”, I’m not exactly well-built, and oh yes: I have a vagina.”

“And you’re as single as I am,” Lucy reminded her brother. “Ugh, I- I dunno.”

“I think I get it,” Luke said softly. “Heh, but ya have to admit, uni hasn’t gone ANYTHING like we thought it would before we started, heh. Being single is the least of our concerns right now.”

“Meh, true, I guess,” Lucy said. “Maybe it’s just the hormones giving me a kicking, heh. I- I’ll be fine. Though you- you have to admit, like, if one of us does start a relationship, it’ll be something we CAN’T do together.”

“Maybe, I guess,” Luke said with a sigh. “Though I’ll happily have you as ‘best woman’ at my wedding if you’re happy with me being your ‘gentleman of honour’, heh!”

“As if there was ever any other choice?” Lucy said, grinning as she gave her brother a hug before putting her trainers back on. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Of course,” Luke said. “And don’t worry too much, okay? No matter what, you’re still the most important person in my life. What we do, we do together, aye?”

“Aye, always,” Lucy said, smiling as she left the room, though for the first time, Lucy began to wonder just how long they would be able to remain together in the way that they had been their whole lives- and whether or not it was in their best interests to do so.

The following morning, though, both twins pushed such thoughts to the back of their mind as they rendezvoused for breakfast in Luke’s room, before heading together toward their first lecture of the day. However, Luke and Lucy- not to mention the rest of their class- found themselves distracted throughout the day, not because of the previous night’s discussion, but because it was Friday, and the weekend was nearly upon them.

After their final seminar of the day, Luke and Lucy rushed back to their rooms to get changed- Luke into his well-worn football kit, while Lucy exchanged the plain denim skirt and hoodie she’d worn to her classes for the tight leggings and crop top that had become as much of a uniform to her as Luke's football kit was to him. As she examined herself in her mirror, Lucy found herself musing on what she’d said the previous night.

Sure, she was tall and broad-shouldered, but she wasn’t bulky- her waist was significantly narrower than it had been twelve months earlier, while her hips were widening, and while her breasts weren’t noticeable under her baggy hoodie, there was no disguising them under her tight crop top. Her hair was long and sparkled in the light, while her skin was smooth and hair-free. Everything about her exuded ‘girl’- but she knew that for some people, that wasn't enough. For those same people, nothing would EVER be enough...

However, Lucy knew that her friends- her true friends- would unconditionally accept her as the woman that she was, which was proven true when she arrived at the dance studio and was greeted by enthusiastic waves from the other socially distanced women.

“Hey girls!” Lucy greeted Priya, Claudia and Phoebe.

“Hey girl!” Priya replied, making Lucy giggle excitedly. “Weekend starts here, woohoo!”

“Woohoo!” Lucy cheered along with her friends. “I am SO ready for some rest.”

“Rest AND finishing off that assignment we got today?” Phoebe asked, giggling as Lucy nodded.

“And the next hour isn’t going to be very ‘restful’,” Claudia reminded her friend.

“I’d better rephrase, then,” Lucy said. “I am SO ready for some FUN!” Lucy giggled as she joined in with the ‘woohoo’s of her friends as they jogged into the dance studio and took their places. Any distraction is a welcome one, Lucy thought to herself.

As Lucy and her friends were warming up, Luke jogged out to one of the university’s playing fields, where the rest of his team was waiting for him.

“Sorry I’m late,” Luke said as he swiftly exchanged his trainers for his trusty studded football boots.

“Needed to make sure your make-up was just right?” Barnes asked, laughing by himself as Luke rolled his eyes. “What colour lipstick have you got on under your mask?” You just won’t stop, will you? Luke thought to himself.

“It’s a pity your mask only stops us from seeing your mouth, and doesn’t stop us from hearing it,” Luke retorted, allowing himself a smirk behind his own mask as his jibe earned more laughter from the rest of the team than Barnes's had.

“Okay, enough,” James Thorn ordered as Barnes shot a dirty look at the young trans man. “Do I have to separate the two of you today?”

“Hey, I’m only having a little fun,” Barnes replied, not taking his eyes off of Luke.

“Very little,” Luke said, smirking as he earned another angry glare from Barnes, before wilting and nodding in a conciliatory fashion as the team’s captain looked at him sternly. As the team warmed up, though, Luke felt a sense of pride that he was once again able to bounce his nemesis's insults back at him.

“Okay,” James Thorn announced, calling a halt to the warm-up. “Like I told you all last night, we’re working on ball control today. The way this’ll work is that two of you will play as defenders, and one of you will try to get past the defenders, make it to the penalty area and take a shot on goal. Tommy- no prizes for guessing what you’re going to be doing.” The entire team chuckled as their regular goalkeeper gave his captain a thumbs up. “I want everyone to take at least one turn in attack and two turns in defence- it’s important that you get a chance to practise mixed skills today, and defence: you need to work together as a team. Okay, no time like the present, I’ll take the first turn in attack. Let’s go!” Luke nodded along with the rest of the team and stood on the sidelines as he watched his captain effortlessly dance around the defenders, only to be denied a goal by Tommy’s outstretched fingers.

Before long, it was Luke’s turn, and as he jogged out to the centre circle with the ball, he didn’t realise that one of the people he’d have to try to defeat was the boy with whom he’d earlier exchanged barbs. You really want to do this? Luke thought to himself with a smirk- he knew that while Barnes was skilled as a striker, he had less experience defending, so Luke was confident that he could dribble past him. As Luke set off dribbling the ball, he feinted away from Barnes only to immediately run in the other direction, and was ready to deal with the other defensive player when he suddenly felt a large weight slam into his side, causing him to clatter to the ground with his legs caught underneath him.

“Umf,” Luke grunted as the wind was knocked out of him. Before he could try to get up, though, Luke let out a scream of pure agony as what felt like an explosion went off in his right leg.

“Not so funny now, are you?” Barnes whispered into Luke’s ear before untangling their legs, eliciting another scream from the young trans man as the team gathered round.

“Stay back, stay at six feet, everyone,” James Thorn ordered as he crouched down next to Luke. “Luke, are you okay? What happened?”

“Oh, he’s fine,” Barnes replied with a dismissive snort. “Just needs to man up a bit, heh.”

“Barnes- just fuck off,” James Thorn snapped. “THAT isn’t helping! Everyone- training session over. Jake- go to the first aid room. We might need to call an ambulance as well. Luke, can you hear me?”

“Y- yeah,” Luke whispered, desperately trying not to cry despite the extreme pain he was in.

“Can you stand?” The captain asked, smiling sympathetically as Luke tried to push himself, only to fail and fall onto his back with another loud groan of pain. “Okay, just- just wait there, Jake will be back soon. Danny, can you- can you go to the dance department please, and find where the Street dance class is being taken? And go in my bag and bring me my phone, I- I should call his parents.”

“Oh, god…” Luke moaned, covering his tear-filled eyes with his forearm.

“I’m sorry, but they- they need to know,” James Thorn said softly. “Luke, I won’t lie to you, there- there’s a very good chance your leg is broken, and if it is, well, then- yeah.”

“I bet that cunt Barnes did this on purpose,” Luke groaned, shivering as shock started to fill his body.

“We- we can’t know that for certain,” James Thorn said, before sighing as Danny returned with his phone.

“I’ll go to the dance studio now,” Danny said softly as his captain sighed and dialled the emergency contact number he had saved in his phone.

A few minutes later, Luke’s teammate entered the dance studio where Lucy was practising, and when he and Kacey approached her with sombre looks on their masked faces, the young trans woman immediately knew she was about to receive bad news. After a quick nod from Kacey, Lucy rushed to the side of the room to grab her bag, hastily dialling her parents' home number as she left the studio.

“Come on, come on,” Lucy moaned, her entire body gripped with anxiety as she waited for her call to be answered.

“Lucy?” Paul asked as he answered the phone, prompting a sigh of relief from his daughter.

“D- dad,” Lucy whispered. “Have- have you heard yet about- like, Luke?”

“I have,” Paul replied with a pained sigh. “Has the ambulance got there yet?”

“They said it’s on the way,” Lucy replied. “It’s taking it’s time because of- well, yeah.”

“Yeah,” Paul whispered.

“Are you- are you going to the hospital?” Lucy asked.

“Well- I can’t,” Paul replied. “’Also ‘cause of you-know-what. He won’t even be allowed to have visitors, not even you.” Lucy felt the blood drain from her face at the news- even though subconsciously, she knew that would be the case, to hear it said out loud just served to drive it home that what Luke was about to go through, he’d have to do alone- which meant that she would be alone too.

Lucy rushed to the football field after her phone call, only to arrive in time to see her brother being put in the back of the ambulance and driven away. Lucy waved at Luke in the vain hope that she’d remind him that she’d be thinking of him, only to be greeted by the slam of the ambulance's rear doors. In a daze, Lucy returned to her room and fired off a text message to Luke, practically begging him to call her when he could. Desperate for some company- ANY company- Lucy booted up her laptop and logged into Zoom, breathing a long sigh of relief as she was immediately invited into a call.

“Lucy, thank god,” Gavin said with a concerned look on his face. “How is he? Have you heard anything?”

“Umm, no, nothing,” Lucy mumbled in reply. “I- umm, he- I saw him, like, in an ambulance…” Lucy’s friends smiled supportively as tears started flowing freely from the young woman’s eyes.

“Hang on a minute,” Kieran said as he typed into his computer. Moments later, the face of James Thorn appeared on Lucy’s screen, bringing more tears to her eyes despite her best efforts.

“Hey guys,” James said softly. “Hey Lucy, how- how are you doing?”

“…Not great,” Lucy mumbled between sobs. “I mean I- I should’ve been able to do SOMETHING, I should BE able to do something instead of just sitting here…”

“Trust me, I don’t think anything could’ve prevented this from happening,” James said in a dark voice. “You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“The whole point of being twins is that we’re meant to look out for each other,” Lucy said as she tried to dry her eyes and compose herself. “We’re meant to do everything together. As a team.”

“Yep, I know a few things about teamwork too,” James said. “Trust me when I say that you have nothing to feel guilty about, really.”

“If you say so,” Lucy sighed. “But the fact is that he’s still hurt, and I’m not.”

“Would it make you feel better if you were hurt?” Gavin asked, making Lucy pause as she contemplated her response.

“I dunno,” the young woman mumbled. “Maybe? At least then Luke wouldn’t be going through it alone…”

“Have you texted him?” Gavin asked. “Just to let him know you’re thinking about him?”

“Of course,” Lucy replied. “He’s not texted back, though, last time I checked he hadn’t even read it yet.”

“Then when he does, he’ll know he isn’t alone,” Gavin advised. “You’ll be there with him in spirit, even if you can’t be physically.”

“…I know,” Lucy sighed. “I just- ugh, I dunno.”

“…You need someone to be with you just as much as Luke does right now?” Kieran asked softly, smiling as his friend nodded.

“Then if that’s what you need, that’s what you’ll get,” Gavin said. “We might not be able to be there in person, but we are damn sure not leaving you alone. You OR Luke.”

“…Thanks,” Lucy whispered, trying to ease her anxiety as her friends began telling her about their days to try to distract her from her anxiety about her brother- and about herself.

The chat lasted long into the night, until almost 1am, with Priya, Phoebe, Claudia and Susie also eagerly volunteering to keep the distraught trans woman company. Eventually, though, all of the students became too tired to even talk any more- none more than Lucy, who despite her anxiety, found herself falling asleep almost immediately after her head hit her pillow.

However, she was woken mere hours later by the sound of her phone ringing, and when she saw the caller ID, she immediately became awake and alert.

“Luke?” Lucy said into the phone in a state of near panic. “Where are you? How are you?”

“Well, there’s good news and bad news,” Luke replied in a tired, almost dazed voice. “The good news: I’ve got a LOT of morphine in me right now, heh. The bad news: my leg’s definitely broken, and I’m going to need some screws putting in it and a cast for, like, ages. The good news: they can do that tomorrow morning. The bad news: I’m going to be in for a few days afterward so they can keep an eye on me. The good news: more morphine!”

“Heh,” Lucy chuckled as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

“More good news: I’m in my own room,” Luke continued. “The bad news: that’s because we don’t have our gender recognition certificates yet, and as such, they had to initially put me on a ward with several old women who kinda took issue with me being there.”

“Ugh,” Lucy spat. “So sorry you had to go through that. Well- all of this really. Though they’d probably have more of an issue with me being there than with you.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not a competition,” Luke sighed. “Even when I had my binding vest removed, they weren’t any happier.”

“Please tell me the nurses didn’t take that off in front of everyone?” Lucy asked, sighing with relief as her brother laughed. “And why did you need to take it off? You didn’t hurt your ribs, did you?”

“It’s not the most comfortable thing to sleep in,” Luke snorted. “Then again, neither is having everything flapping loose in front of me. Reckon I can ask them to cut my tits off when they fix my leg? Like, two for the price of one?”

“Given that you’re in an NHS hospital and the price for fixing your leg is zero, you might be pushing it a bit,” Lucy reminded her brother, who laughed again.

“Yeah, just means I’m gonna be waiting ages before they finally get done,” Luke sighed. “They’d probably make me wait ages to fix my leg if it wasn’t, like, I can’t walk without it. Fucking covid…”

“Couldn’t they have put you on an all-male ward, though?” Lucy asked.

“Not according to the nurses,” Luke sighed. “Something about safeguarding, again because I don’t have this magic certificate that says I actually am a man. They probably think that any guy would see ‘person with a vagina who can’t run away’ as an invitation to do whatever they wanted, I dunno.”

“I’ll have to make sure I never need the hospital, then,” Lucy whispered as she shuddered at the thought of herself being in an all-male ward.

“Meh, if you do, let me know and I’ll beat them with a crutch or whatever,” Luke said in a tired, slurred voice. “Think the morphine’s starting to do its thing again so I’m gonna ring off now, let you get breakfast or whatever.”

“It’s 4:40am,” Lucy reminded her brother.

“Right, well, I’ll call you again when I’m awake,” Luke mumbled. “G’night, sis…”

“Goodnight,” Lucy whispered, sighing and weeping as she ended the call. Happy that Luke was at least okay, and would be on the mend soon, she laid back in bed and tried to get back to sleep. However, the fact that they would be apart for days weighed on her mind throughout the night.

Lucy woke up the following morning and went about her Saturday almost in autopilot, barely touching her breakfast or lunch and unable to concentrate on her coursework as she waited for Luke’s call- though she didn't have to wait long.

“Luke, hi,” Lucy said into her phone a mere two seconds after it had started ringing. “Are you out of surgery? How did it go?”

“Well…” Luke said hesitantly, causing his sister’s nerves to jangle.

“Let me guess,” Lucy sighed. “You’re on lots of morphine and you have good news and bad news?”

“Oh, definitely,” Luke replied. “The good news is that the surgery was a success, my leg’s all pinned back together, the cast is in place, and I should make a full recovery.”

“…And the bad news?” Lucy asked.

“I’m gonna be in hospital for another couple of weeks, while I wait for my sense of taste and smell to return,” Luke replied with a loud sigh.

“Oh- oh god, you-“ Lucy moaned, tears forming in her eyes once again.

“Yep,” Luke sighed. “Two lines on the test, though at least the nurses had enough tact to not ask me if I was hoping for a boy or a girl, heh.”

“God…” Lucy moaned. “So it’s gonna be ages before you’re back at uni?”

“Maybe even longer,” Luke sighed. “The doctors, they’re saying- they’re saying that it’d be better- when I get out, like- for me to- to attend classes virtually. Like, from home. To avoid putting too much stress on my leg, and to avoid, like, getting covid again, sort of thing.”

“…Oh,” Lucy said, her heart sinking as she suddenly found herself feeling more alone than ever. “Will you- will you be alright?”

“Well- aye, the doctors say I’ll make a full recovery,” Luke replied, making his sister sigh.

“That’s not what I meant,” Lucy moaned.

“I- yeah, I know,” Luke sighed. “But I’ll be okay. Mam’s already said they can set up, like, a workstation for me in the living room, and as dad mostly works from home anyway, there’ll always be someone on hand to, like, do all the running around for me. And Steve has said he’ll do me extra sessions to help me catch up with what I’ll miss. Heh, I’ll be back before you even have the chance to miss me.” I doubt it, Lucy ruefully thought to herself.

“Well- that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry,” Lucy said. “And I- I already miss you.”

“Yeah, I miss you too,” Luke sighed. “But hey, ya know? Whatever we do, we do together, right? Even if we’re, like, physically separated?”

“…I used to think so,” Lucy mumbled as tears started to form in her eyes.

“…Yeah, me too,” Luke sighed as both twins wondered when their lives would get back to normal- or even if their lives would ever get back to normal…

“Come on then, hopalong, we ain’t got all day!” Paul said with a chuckle, which became a full blown laugh when his son regarded him with an angry glare.

“It DOES still hurt, ya know,” Luke replied as he hobbled into the house, carrying a shopping bag in one hand and leaning on a crutch with the other arm.

“Aye, and tha doctors say it’ll hurt more in tha long run if ya don’t regularly exercise it,” Paul retorted. “And yas got ta keep those lungs o’ yours working too!”

“I only had a VERY mild case of Covid,” Luke reminded his father as he dropped the shopping bag in the kitchen, before returning to the living room and exchanging a tired smile with his sister. “…Hi Lucy.”

“Hi Luke,” Lucy said with a tired smile as she briefly looked up from her phone. “Good trip out?”

“Well, aye,” Luke replied with a one-armed shrug. “I mean, it were Tesco and not Ibiza, but- yeah.” The twins shared a smirk at the young man’s joke, even as they both tried not to fidget.

It had been just over five weeks since Luke broke his leg, and three weeks since he was discharged home from the hospital and, in that time, the twins had barely spent any time together, especially when compared to how close they'd been before the young man's injury. With Luke attending classes remotely from Newcastle while Lucy remained in Durham, and with their workload increasing as they approached the end of the academic year, opportunities to interact outside of class or coursework sessions had been extremely limited. The twins made a conscious effort to remain connected with regular Zoom calls in the evenings, but Luke’s need to keep up with his exercises and catch up on coursework, along with his painkillers making him drowsy, had seriously affected his availability for fun. Although the young trans woman was able to rely on her other friends for support, the fact was that there were things she could only talk about with her brother — things she couldn't even talk about with her counsellor and certainly not with any of her friends. While the start of the Easter holiday had offered more opportunities for the twins to talk, Luke's busy schedule had meant that opportunities to simply sit down and talk were still limited, although, when they did, the twins were disturbed to find that the events of the semester meant that had very little to talk about.

“D- do you need a hand with that?” Lucy asked as Luke hobbled through the living room with another shopping bag.

“I’m not a TOTAL invalid,” Luke snorted in reply, before sighing at the upset look on his sister’s face. “…Sorry, Luce.”

“S’okay,” Lucy shrugged, before turning attention back to her phone.

“Chatting with anyone?” Luke asked, dropping the last of the shopping in the kitchen before sitting down next to his sister with a loud sigh.

“Nah, Amazon,” Lucy replied, showing her brother the selection of black skirts on her screen. “Figured I’ve got birthday money burning a hole in my purse, and I’m gonna need a new smart suit for interviews, like for jobs, or if we, like, do a Masters.”

“Yeah, think I’m pretty far from Masters level right now,” Luke chuckled, before fidgeting awkwardly. “And I can’t imagine you have THAT much money burning a hole….”

“I thought — I thought you didn’t want to talk about that?” Lucy asked hesitantly. “I mean, we knew they probably wouldn’t…“

“Yeah, I- I’m not talking about Nanna and Grandpa,” Luke scoffed. “I mean, like, in general, money’s a bit tight, that sort of thing.”

“Well — aye, I guess,” Lucy said.

“Though you’d have expected at least a card….” Luke grumbled as he remembered the twins’ birthday exactly two weeks earlier, and the celebration they’d held the day before that.

With the twins’ twentieth birthdays falling on a Monday, the family had decided to celebrate the previous day, rather than make them both wait an extra week or open their presents separately — neither option appealing to the twins as much as the Sunday celebration. Lucy had taken the first train on that Sunday morning from Durham to Newcastle, and upon arriving at her home had wasted no time in exchanging a big hug with her brother for the first time in weeks, although it had felt like forever to the both of them.

“Hey sis,” Luke had said, his voice filled with apprehension, but with a sense of relief at finally being with his twin again, too.

“Hey bro,” Lucy had replied, barely keeping her emotions in check. “Heh, long time no see, eh?”

“Other than all tha times yas been chatting on a screen!” Paul had playfully chastised his children, who were both forced to concede his point. “Now come on, yas got two big piles of presents on tha sofa that need opening!” The twins needed no further prompting, and immediately began to open their carefully wrapped gifts.

Luke had a wide grin on his face as he unwrapped, among other gifts, two new video games, two smart blue shirts and a bottle of designer aftershave, while Lucy smiled politely as she unwrapped a new fancy dress, a new pair of dainty flat shoes, a bottle of expensive perfume and a chunky resin bangle. As had always been the case, the twins also received cards with Amazon gift vouchers from their grandparents living in Spain but, unlike their previous birthdays, they received nothing from their paternal grandparents — not even a card.

“I- I’ll talk to them in tha week,” Paul had said in reply to his parents’ snub of his children — though Luke and Lucy could easily tell he wasn’t relishing that prospect, and didn’t expect anything to come of the call — and sure enough, in the two weeks that had passed since the birthday, nothing more had been said of the issue.

Fortunately, on their actual birthday the following day, the twins were able to celebrate with their university friends — or rather, Lucy was able to celebrate with them in a socially distanced setting, while Luke remained in Newcastle, only able to join the ‘party’ on a screen from his sofa. When the Easter holidays had finally begun, Luke took every opportunity he could get to get off his sofa and try to exercise his leg, though this of course meant less time to simply sit and talk with Lucy — especially when the topic turned to their paternal grandparents.

“Meh, I think we both knew that — well, ‘when,’ like, not everyone would accept us,” Lucy said with a shrug, even as she felt just as angry as her brother.

“Aye, I know,” Luke sighed, as he dragged the coffee table closer to the sofa and rested his injured leg on it. “And I guess it’s not like we don’t have friends — good friends, even. I texted Susie and Gav in the car to see if they want to meet up at any point — somewhere close by, obviously.”

“Cool,” Lucy replied. “Any idea when we’re meeting up? I assume I AM invited, right?”

“Well — aye, obviously,” Luke replied with a chuckle. “What we do, we do together, right?”

“Always,” Lucy said firmly. “Well, apart from broken legs and Covid, anyway…”

“Trust me, you’re better off without either,” Luke snorted as he tried to make his injured limb comfortable. “But whatever, we’ve got lost time to make up for, right?”

“Well — aye, that’s true!” Lucy chuckled. “Any idea where we can meet up with Susie and Gav? I wouldn’t fancy going on the Metro with your leg like that….”

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” Luke said with a dismissive wave. “Won’t be that many people on the Metro anyway, we’re still in what, tier 3?”

“Something like that,” Lucy replied. “Though it might still be packed, what with it being the holiday and all.”

“Meh, in that case I guess you’ll just have to be my carer,” Luke joked as his sister rolled her eyes. “Though- though it can wait until tomorrow, as — don’t tell dad — but I REALLY need to rest my leg after that shopping trip, heh.”

“Scared he’ll tell you to ‘man up?’ ” Lucy teased.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Luke snorted.

“Wha… dad hasn’t been THAT bad, has he?” Lucy asked, frowning as her brother sighed.

“…I’m still in the WhatsApp group for the footy team,” Luke mumbled in reply. “Just keeping up, like, even if there’s no way I’ll be able to play again before September, if at all. These last few weeks since the- heh, the ‘accident,’ Barnes has been worse than ever.”

“Why is he even still on the team?” Lucy sneered. “He literally GBHes you and gloats about it, and the uni do nothing?”

“…It’s a broken leg, hardly ‘grievous bodily harm,’ ” Luke mumbled in reply. “And there’s no way of proving he did it deliberately, accidents and injuries happen all the time.”

“Well — yeah,” Lucy conceded. “But surely the gloating about it would be enough to kick him off the team?”

“Freedom of speech,” Luke replied with a shrug.

“There’s a big difference between ‘free speech’ and ‘verbal harassment,’ ” Lucy scoffed.

“But a very, VERY small difference between ‘verbal harassment’ and ‘banter,’ ” Luke reminded his sister. “Look, can we — can we change the topic, please? I don’t even want to give that smug Yorkshire twat the satisfaction of us talking about him even if there is no way for him to know about it.”

“You got it,” Lucy said with a nod, before smirking. “…Still recovering from Saturday, then?”

“There was nothing to recover from!” Luke replied with a snort of laughter. “Claudia’s party ended at what, 8pm? Okay, she had to go and eat with her family, but still….”

“Yeah, but, like, painkillers and alcohol?” Lucy asked.

“I was okay,” Luke shrugged. “You drank more than I did, anyway.”

“What, two and a half glasses of wine?” Lucy retorted. “And besides, I’m, like, ‘bigger’ than you….” The twins paused as an awkward silence filled the room — neither Luke nor Lucy needed reminding why she was considerably taller than he was.

“Alright, that’s tha shopping all away,” Paul said as he re-entered the living room, seemingly unaware of the sudden tension between his children. “Thanks for yas help by tha way, Lucy.”

“Ah — sorry, was a bit distracted….” Lucy mumbled, her cheeks flushing.

“Not that I want ta sound like yas granddad, but whoever invented smartphones has a LOT ta answer for,” Paul said with a derisive snort of laughter. “And I’m just pulling yas leg, I know the two of yas want to catch up, get back ta the whole ‘twin thing’ properly. God knows you’ve definitely earned this holiday, heh.”

“…It’s not like you HAVEN’T earned the bank holiday,” Lucy replied. “Especially as you’ve had to, like….”

“…Work from home and wait on me hand and foot?” Luke asked with a snort.

“Neither o’ which I minded doing,” Paul said firmly. “Especially not tha waiting. I’m ya dad, I’m meant ta look after you when you ca — umm, well….”

“’Can’t look after myself?’ ” Luke asked. “The sooner I can get rid of these crutches, the better….”

“Let’s tone down tha talk about ‘getting rid of crutches,’ if ya don’t mind,” Paul said with a quiet chuckle, before biting his lip as his attempted joke earned him angry glares from his children. “Anyways, I overheard yas talking about that video party ya were at on Saturday, got any more o’ those planned for the holiday?”

“Not really,” Lucy replied. “I think it’s Priya’s sister’s birthday next week, but we don’t know her all that well, so we probably won’t get an invite, even if it is just a video one. Maybe if we’d been able to actually go to London at any point in the last twelve months….”

“At least I had the sense to break my leg at the one time in human history when it doesn’t matter, heh,” Luke snorted.

“…I would say ‘that’s tha spirit,’ but it really isn’t,” Paul sighed. “Yas not wrong, though. I dunno. At least by summer ya leg will be a bit better, and hopefully tha country will be too. Though I’ll repeat: yas both need time away from screens this holiday as well, some proper fresh air.”

“I literally just got back from the shops,” Luke argued.

“Which I drove ya ta, door ta door,” Paul retorted, before sighing. “Okay, fair enough. It’s yas holiday, if yas want ta spend it on your phones — that’s up ta yas. And yas have made plans for tomorrow, at least. Just — I thought tha whole point o’ coming out, o’ living yas life tha way yas wanted to was so that yas didn’t have ta hide yaselves away all the time?”

“The ‘point’ of coming out was to be able to live our lives on our terms,” Luke replied. “Well, ours and Chris Whitty’s terms, anyway.”

“Well — can’t argue Britain’s chief medical officer, I guess,” Paul said with a tired chuckle. “I’m gonna head out ta tha garden, give tha grass a quick mow, just in case either of yas need anything.”

“We’ll be fine, ta,” Luke said, exchanging a brief, appreciative smile with his father before being left alone in the living room with his sister and the rapid-fire message notifications her phone was receiving. “…Someone’s popular today, then?” Luke smirked as his sister chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Priya’s added me, Claudia and Phoebe into a group chat with her sister and a couple of her friends,” Lucy explained. “Apparently her sister uploaded an Instagram photo yesterday of her wearing a home made Playboy bunny costume — like, for Easter — and it’s descended into a conversation about how skimpy is TOO skimpy when it comes to costumes, and what was the skimpiest costume everyone’s ever worn.”

“…Fair enough,” Luke said with a smirk. “And your contribution was…?”

“To say that you shouldn’t be thinking about your twin sister in a skimpy costume!” Lucy replied, smiling as her brother laughed loudly. “Seriously, though, I don’t think I even own any, like, costumes. Unless, like, you count all the women’s clothing in my wardrobe….”

“Which I obviously don’t, and neither should you,” Luke said firmly.

“I know, I know,” Lucy sighed, glancing briefly at the knee-length denim skirt and dark tights that covered her legs. “Sometimes I do still feel like, you know, an interloper in these conversations, like a fraud….”

“Which you ain’t,” Luke reassured the young woman. “And besides, you’re not even Priya’s only trans friend, are you?”

“Nope, and the other two are also in this chat,” Lucy replied. “Ashley — the younger of the two — shared a photo of her in a tutu with clear straps and a low back that made her look like a ‘ballet bunny,’ and she isn’t even eighteen yet! And as for Laura — well, I can give you the address of three websites where she’s modelling actual SWIMWEAR. And not, like, frumpy swim dresses, but actual bikinis that look like they’d be too big on a Barbie doll, let alone her. So you’ll forgive me if I feel a little ‘inadequate’ by comparison.”

“Luce, I’m 5’ 4”, thin as a rake and I spent most of the last eighteen months trying to keep up with literally an entire football team of tall, athletic guys,” Luke reminded his sister. “Okay, it didn’t exactly end well for me, but my point is that I know what ‘inadequate’ feels like. And I don’t feel like any less of a man as a result.”

“I never said I feel like any less of a woman,” Lucy mumbled as she turned her attention back to her phone.

“In what other way would you feel ‘inadequate,’ then?” Luke asked, sighing as his sister failed to answer the question. “I hope you talk to Dr Adams about this, and not just me — not that I’m not happy to help, of course, but…“

“Yes, I talk to her,” Lucy interrupted. “I- I’m sorry, Luke, I- ugh. Without uni to, like, ‘distract’ me, things are a bit — yeah. Got lots of time to think about, well, things. Got nothing BUT time right now….”

“Try having nothing but time and not even being able to walk properly,” Luke retorted with a snort of laughter, frowning as he failed to cheer his sister up. “But — seriously, Luce. Don’t measure yourself against other people’s standards. So what if Priya’s friends like posing in tutus or bikinis? It doesn’t mean you have to in order to be a girl. Now if you WANT to, then there’s nothing stopping you, right?”

“Other than the fact that I’d look stupid?” Lucy mumbled.

“…You’re literally the one who just said I shouldn’t be thinking about you in skimpy clothing,” Luke chuckled.

“You brought it up!” Lucy retorted.

“Not the ‘looks’ side of things, I didn’t,” Luke stated. “I know how I ‘looked’ when stood next to the rest of the footy team. It didn’t make me FEEL any less manly, just like you wearing a — well, whatever, really — should make you feel any less girly. And believe me, I have eighteen years of experience with that shit. I may have looked like any other teenage girl when I was wearing a school uniform with a skirt, or a swimsuit, or whatever, but I always, always felt out of place. It’s surely the same for you, right?”

“Well… yeah,” Lucy conceded. “Being a foot taller than a lot of my friends — hell, being nearly a foot taller than my own brother doesn’t help the ‘out of place’ feelings any, though.”

“Maybe when we’re finally allowed to PROPERLY hang out with people again, it’ll help you feel better,” Luke mused.

“I hope so,” Lucy sighed, though she remained unconvinced by her brother's reassurances.

The twins spent the rest of their afternoon alternating between browsing the internet, watching television and catching up on their coursework. After dinner, though, as evening began to draw in, the twins headed up to Luke’s bedroom for what had become a nightly tradition: not just for them, but for all of their friends as well.

“Hey you two!” Priya said excitedly as the twins joined the ongoing video call. “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought, with it being a bank holiday, we could have an ‘extended’ chat today? Feel free to invite anyone else you want!” Luke and Lucy nervously giggled as they waved at the faces on the screen, which included not just their friends Claudia, Phoebe, Gavin, Kieran and Susie, but also all of Priya’s friends from London and two girls from Coventry that Lucy recognised as being Claudia’s friends as well as a few faces that neither twin recognised.

“After all, you can never have too many friends, right?” Laura Ruddock said from the top right corner of the screen, smiling smugly while Lucy again felt inadequate at how effortlessly feminine the nineteen-year-old girl looked, even with no make-up on her face or filter on her screen.

“Right!” The twins cheered along with the rest of the crowd.

“And I’m glad you’re both here, actually,” Laura said as she started to stand up from her laptop.

“…As she hasn’t shown off to you guys yet,” Suri — Priya’s sister — said with an overdramatic sigh as the blonde woman leaned back toward her camera with a mock-angry glare.

“I’m not ‘showing off,’ ” Laura protested. “Okay, maybe I am, but it’s because I want to show off… this!” Laura giggled as she stood back from her camera and showed off the dress she was wearing — which instantly caught Lucy’s attention.

The dress was strapless, knee-length and clung tightly to every inch of the young woman’s body. The entire garment was made of a glittery, deep charcoal grey fabric, except for the bottom three inches of the hem, which were covered in shiny, jet-black sequins. What stood out the most, though, was the feather detail that ran around the top of the dress, drawing attention to Laura's otherwise modest cleavage. It was undoubtedly fancier than any dress — or any other item of clothing, for that matter — that Lucy owned, and Lucy felt an almost uncontrollable urge to wear it — though that urge was dampened by the knowledge that even though she and Laura shared the same 'status,' she would never be as slender or as effortlessly feminine as the blonde woman.

“That dress is GORGEOUS,” Claudia gushed as Laura did a slow twirl to show off the details of the bodice and the laced-up back. “It looks a bit expensive for a student’s budget, though….”

“It helps when you’re friends with the designer and have modelled for them before,” Laura replied with a smug grin. Makes sense that you’d be a model as well, Lucy thought to herself. “And I’m saving money by still living at home, which means I can also call on my sister to lace me into this thing, heh.”

“I was about to say, it kinda looks like a two-woman job,” Kieran teased, giggling as Laura rolled her eyes.

“BOY,” the blonde woman snorted at the Manchester native’s teasing. “But you’re not wrong, heh. And it came with a threat from my mum to ground us both if she ever catches Lily wearing this, heh.”

“Can you technically ground an adult?” asked one of Laura’s friends that the twins didn’t recognise, a tall girl with glasses.

“My mum probably could,” Laura snorted. “But I’m glad you spoke up, Miss Cartman, as I know for a fact that this dress would look GORGEOUS on you. Same goes for you, Miss Miller!” Lucy paused briefly before responding — even though she had legally been ‘Miss Miller’ for eighteen months, she still found it strange whenever she was addressed by that title.

“Wh… me?” Lucy asked with a chuckle.

“You’re the only ‘Miss Miller’ here,” Luke reminded his sister, giving her a playful shove as she blushed.

“Damn right you are,” Laura giggled. “And not that you aren’t already gorgeous and girly, but trust me, you — and Megan — would look STUNNING in this dress. Maybe pair it with some thin tights, elbow-length black gloves, high heels — I mean, obviously — a chiffon stole and tie your hair into an updo, and you will be the belle of ANY ball.”

“Especially when I’m banging said updo into every chandelier in the room,” Megan protested, sighing as she saw the confused looks on many of the call's faces. “…I’m 6’ 2” barefoot, as Laura well knows, hence why my supposed BFF is constantly trying to get me to buy shoes with, like, a five or six-inch heel. And before you ask — not that I’d consider it an insult — I am cis, I’ve just picked up ‘giant genes’ from god only knows where, as my dad’s 5’ 9” and my mum’s 5’ 3”. Not that being cis has stopped me from experiencing more than my fair share of transphobia over the years.”

“Even one incident of transphobia is more than anyone’s fair share, cis or trans,” stated another of Laura’s friends, a ginger-haired girl with freckles and a face filled with righteous anger.

“Too right,” Laura said, before smirking again. “So I’ll put you down as a ‘maybe’ for the dress then, Meg. Lucy? Is this dress gorgeous and girly enough for you? Though I mean, bare shoulders AND living near the North Pole…”

“Hey, watch it, southerner!” Susie chastised Laura, making the blonde woman giggle before Lucy had the chance to reply.

“And is it just a coincidence that you’re shilling this dress to the two girls who’ve had birthdays in the last two weeks?” Megan asked, smirking as her blonde best friend rolled her eyes.

“Yes, yes it is a coincidence,” Laura replied. “A coincidence that the two most recent birthday girls would flatten entire cities with their gorgeousness in this dress. Lucy?”

“I- umm,” Lucy replied hesitantly.

“Is — are you alright, Lucy?” Laura asked with genuine concern for her friend.

“Yeah, just…” Lucy replied, before sighing. “It’s not like I’ve got much to, like, ‘hold up’ a strapless dress, if you know what I mean.”

“Ah… discussion’s about to get VERY womanly. Boys — out,” Priya ordered with a semi-serious look on her face. “We’ll let you know when you can come back in. Luke — you too.”

“This is literally my bedroom,” Luke protested.

“And are you a girl?” Laura asked, smirking as the young trans man sighed and jumped off the bed. “Thought not.”

“I’ll come and get you when we’re done,” Lucy said with a smug grin.

“And as for you, MISS Miller,” Laura said, before sighing and smiling supportively. “Literally every trans girl has had the same, well, ‘anxiety’ that you’re feeling.”

“Pretty much every cis girl has too,” Suri interjected. “I’m hardly ‘curvy’ myself, heh.”

“Maybe not, but at least you’re petite,” Lucy said.

“Yeah, ‘cause being mistaken for a twelve-year-old all the time is so much better,” Suri snorted, before sighing. “I- I’m sorry, Lucy, I think — I think what we’re trying to say is that at some point, every girl has anxiety over her appearance.”

“And that’s why we have sisterhoods like the one we have right here,” Ashley — a transgender friend of Laura’s and the youngest of the assembled group — said with a proud smile on her face. “Every girl deserves to know that she’s not alone — never alone. Heh, the help you’ve all given me over the years has definitely made me a better big sister to my sisters.”

“Of course, when all else fails, a new dress IS one of the best pick-me-ups out there, hehe!” Suri giggled as Laura beamed smugly.

“If not THE best,” Laura giggled. “Well, best pick-me-up other than a big, strong MAN who can literally ‘pick me up,’ hehe!” Lucy smiled in bemusement as Laura’s friends jeered, while the blonde woman stretched a pair of thin tights over the top of her head. “Don’t worry about these, this is just a silly in-joke, heh. This dress, however, will be perfect for girls of — well, any ‘size.’ This band’s elasticated, it grips on the top of your boobs — or wherever, depending how much cleavage you want to show — and doesn’t slip, and the whole bodice is laced in so even if the top wanted to slip, the rest of your torso simply wouldn’t let it.”

“Cool,” Lucy chuckled. “Though I- I’ll think about it, heh. You’re not getting commission on these sales by any chance, are you?”

“…No, but I am on the TikToks and IG posts I make about the dress,” Laura said, blushing as her friends playfully jeered again. “And I didn’t hear any of you jeering when you got a ‘friends and family’ discount on those t-shirt bras I promoted last year?” Of course you’re an underwear model as well, thought Lucy.

“…I would jeer that too if I wasn’t wearing one of them right now,” Ashley mumbled, smirking as she lowered one sleeve of her top to show off the strap. “Comfortable bras like this have been a lifesaver ever since I started HRT, heh.”

“And not just for trans girls,” Another of Laura’s friends, a pale-skinned girl with jet black hair, mused. “I mean, sure, lacy bras are sexy, but when your nipples are sensitive it can be like wearing sandpaper.”

“Same with thongs when it’s the wrong time of the month,” Priya sighed as Lucy found her cheeks growing redder and redder at the topic of discussion. “There were some times in ballet class, both at home and in Durham, when all I wanted to do was strip off all the lycra and pull on a big, comfy pair of cotton knickers, my loosest bra and curl up on the sofa with a blanket I’d just taken out of the freez- umm, Lucy, are you... are you okay?”

“I- I’m just wondering if, like, I- I should be listening to this, heh,” Lucy mumbled.

“Why shouldn’t you?” Laura’s ginger-haired friend asked. “I mean, you ARE a girl, and, like, not just an ‘honorary girl’ either. And you are taking hormones, aren’t you?”

“For about six months now,” Lucy replied. “Not exactly as long as, well…“

“It’s long enough, trust me,” Laura said softly. “One day would be long enough. Hell, zero days would even be enough if you knew that you truly were a woman on the inside.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered.

“Though as this is meant to be an ‘everyone’ chat, I think we may have left the boys out a bit too long, heh!” Priya said, smiling smugly as the faces of Gavin, Kieran and the other males returned to Lucy’s screen.

“You can come back in now,” Lucy shouted, trying not to snort with laughter at the look of fury on her brother’s face as he hobbled back into the room.

“…Next time you’ve got a broken leg, I’m going into YOUR room to talk about football all day!” Luke snarled as he sat back down and elevated his injured limb.

“BOY,” the majority of the assembled women all heckled, with the notable exception of Lucy.

“Yes. And?” Luke replied with a smug grin as he was heckled again by all but one of the assembled women.

The young men and women continued to chat for another hour, the topic of conversation seemingly changing every two minutes but all those assembled took care to ensure that no one felt left out — especially not the twins. Eventually, though, the number of friends on the call started dwindling, and Luke and Lucy let out tired sighs and giggles as they logged out of the chat immediately following Priya, Susie and Gavin’s departure. However, they both frowned with confusion as immediately after they left the call, they were invited into another video chat hosted by Priya.

“…Did she forget something?” Luke asked as he accepted the chat request, only to frown with confusion as the twins found themselves alone in the chat with the Bengali girl.

“Umm… hi?” Lucy said, but before Priya could respond, they were joined on the call by Susie, Gavin and Claudia — until, before long, every one of their close friends from university was on the call.

“Hi again everyone,” Priya said with a chuckle. “Sorry if I’m holding anyone up from doing anything, but I just wanted to see how you all are — I mean, I love my London friends, but they can be a bit, like, much sometimes. Especially Laura and my sister, but seeing as they are literally in training to be drama queens — well, yeah, heh.”

“Nah, I like them,” Susie said with a shrug. “They’re fun, friendly — and Laura is, like, hotter than the surface of the Sun, heh. And not just as in ‘hot for a trans girl,’ like — umm, no offence intended, Lucy.”

“None taken,” Lucy said with a shrug, even though she couldn't help but muse on how few people have ever called her, or even thought of her as hot — Lucy imagined that she could count those people on one hand.

“Sadly, she’s also very much straight,” Priya teased, giggling as the ginger-haired girl rolled her eyes and blushed. “And has been seeing her current boyfriend for just over a year, so — yeah.”

“She can’t have ‘seen’ him THAT much over the last twelve or so months,” Susie retorted, before giggling. “Seriously though, I really hope I get to meet your London friends soon, they all seem really cool. Even if they might cause the boys to be a bit, you know, outnumbered, heh!”

"I can always invite Anthony along too," Luke mused. "For a bit of extra 'muscle,' heh."

“If it helps,” Priya replied, “if the eight of us, nine including Anthony, and the seven of them hung out together, then if I’ve got my maths right, LGBT people — which includes ALL of the boys — would outnumber cisgender straight people ten to six.”

“…It helps a little,” Kieran giggled. “And if any of your friends have any cute twin brothers, it’d help even more….”

“All either too old or too young, I’m afraid,” Priya said with a giggle. “And I wouldn’t want to try managing a long-distance relationship in the middle of a pandemic, heh. It’s tough enough just keeping up with my sister!”

“I hope you meant ‘keeping up with your sister’ in the metaphorical sense and not in this kind of way,” Luke joked as he lifted his injured leg for the camera to see. “It was hard enough keeping up with Luce even when I was in hospital with nothing to do but stare at my phone all day, heh.”

“Ugh, can imagine,” Priya sighed sadly. “Still, now that more people are getting vaccinated, hopefully Covid will be a thing of the past before long. And we’ll finally be able to get back to uni. And, more importantly: our dance studios!”

“Woohoo!” Phoebe cheered. “Now if you’d told me twelve months ago that I’d have THAT reaction to getting back into a dance studio, I would NOT have believed you.”

“Heh,” Priya said with another sad sigh. “I- I’m sorry, Phoebe, I keep talking about ‘long distance’ and forgetting you’re probably more long distance than all of us put together.”

“It’s okay,” Phoebe replied in her refined Seattle accent. “My parents understand, I mean, they’re waiting for the vaccines themselves, wearing masks everywhere, staying home when they can….”

“Or, to put it another way, they voted for Biden?” Gavin asked, smirking as the American woman rolled her eyes.

“No comment,” Phoebe replied.

“The first ever president who doesn’t hold press conferences on the White House lawn as he’s too busy yelling at teenagers to get off of it?” Gavin continued to the amusement of his British friends.

“Well, we know who we’re going to see at the Edinburgh Fringe festival when it starts again,” Susie teased her fellow Geordie, who responded with even louder laughter. “In all seriousness, though, I can’t ever remember a time when I’ve had as many friends as I do now. I mean, school absolutely SUCKED after I was outed, and I honestly thought that college would be the same. But then I met Luke and Lucy, and now I’m at uni — yeah. School kinda — kinda felt like a prison, you know? You even had the uniform and the gang culture, heh.”

“And the uniform DEFINITELY felt like a prison to me, even by itself,” Luke mused. “Heh, even being stuck in the same room for twelve months straight without being allowed to go anywhere somehow feels less confining.”

“Can imagine,” Kieran sighed. “If we’re allowed to travel this summer, we are DEFINITELY taking a trip somewhere, all of us — the more the merrier, in fact!”

“I’d totally be up for that,” Claudia said with a smile. “Do you have anywhere in particular in mind?”

“Well, half of my friends are from Newcastle, and I haven’t even been there properly yet,” Kieran replied. “Despite going to university just down the road, heh.”

“If I’m still in England at that time, I’d love to see London,” Phoebe suggested.

“Brighton might be a bit of a stereotypical suggestion, but it’d be nice to see how they live down near the equator,” Gavin suggested, laughing as the South-based students on the call rolled their eyes.

“…And then right back to Edinburgh to catch Gavin’s show,” Priya teased with a smirk.

“All of these things we’d already have done if it wasn’t for the dreaded C word,” Phoebe sighed. “But — ugh, sorry, I didn’t mean to bring everyone down, heh.”

“Hardly your fault, unless you came to England via Wuhan,” Susie snorted. “And I would ask what everyone’s plans are for the rest of the night, but I think we all already know, heh.”

“Reading, reading and more reading,” Priya replied with a sigh. “Suri’s still on a chat with Laura and some of their uni friends, I might see if I can invade that. Heh, I haven’t had the chance to meet THEM either, despite me being back in London!”

“But — but they’re all cool with Laura, aren’t they?” Lucy asked hesitantly. “I mean, like, hanging out with a trans girl?”

“Well, I mean, she doesn’t advertise it, but she doesn’t, like, deny it either when asked about it,” Priya replied with a shrug. “And she has the same tattoo that Jamie-Lee Burke and Stephanie Abbott have, so... I guess they’re okay? I dunno. But if they weren’t, I know Suri wouldn’t hang out with them either. I mean, it’s not like the two of us haven’t faced discrimination either.”

“Can’t argue with that, I suppose,” Lucy said quietly.

“And I don’t suppose you get many ‘Barneses’ at drama school, heh,” Luke said with a derisive snort of laughter.

“Who’s won more BAFTAs recently, Graham Linehan or Russell T Davies?” Gavin asked with a smug chuckle.

“At this rate, you’re the one who’s going to end up winning the most BAFTAs!” Susie teased her friend, earning laughs from all of her friends. “In the meantime, though, I still have a degree to study for, and these proteins aren’t gonna study themselves, heh. I’ll see all of you tomorrow — well, all the Geordies on the call, anyway, hehe!”

“See ya!” Luke chuckled as the ginger-haired woman left the call.

The other students gradually dispersed over the next few minutes, including the twins. With the call finished, Lucy elegantly rose from her brother’s bed and headed toward the door, only to be stopped as her brother gently grabbed her arm.

“Hey,” Luke whispered softly. “Are you — are you okay?”

“Hmm?” Lucy replied, confused by her brother’s concern. “Sure, fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just — what you asked about Laura,” Luke replied. “You weren’t just asking if they were okay with Laura as, like, an individual, were you?”

“…Was it THAT obvious?” Lucy whispered, biting her lip to keep her emotions in control.

“To me, aye,” Luke replied. “Maybe it’s ‘cause I’ve known you for twenty years or because I’m in the same boat, but — yeah.”

“Not EXACTLY the same boat,” Lucy snorted, gently flicking the few wispy hairs on her brother’s chin. “You have to admit, you pass a LOT more than I do.”

“I wouldn’t say I ‘pass,’ ” Luke snorted. “It’s just the double standard of no one giving a shit about a woman wearing trousers or baggy clothes. Heh, or even football boots any more.”

“But someone born male wearing a skirt and make-up will cause the world to end?” Lucy asked, smiling as her brother sighed and nodded. “That kind of mentality will never make sense to me. Who exactly am I meant to be hurting by dressing like this?”

“I dunno,” Luke shrugged. “I try not to think about bullies, how sad and small their lives have to be to get off on — well, you know.”

“Like Barnes?” Lucy asked, grimacing as a look of pure fury spread across her brother’s face.

“…Let’s just say I won’t shed any tears if he ever ends up with a broken leg,” Luke spat. “Or neck, or whatever. But I choose not to think about the sad bastard. You should do the same about any dickheads who give you a hard time.”

“Easier said than done,” Lucy sighed.

“Maybe true,” Luke sighed. “But think of it this way: we’ve already done the hard part, right? Mum and dad know who the REAL us are. We’re taking hormones, we’ve got loads of friends, and most importantly, we can actually see each other face to face again. I mean, my leg aside, life is good, right?”

“Better than I’ve ever known it,” Lucy replied, smiling as she exchanged a hug with her brother before returning to her own room.

The twins spent the rest of the evening studying, before opting for an early night ahead of their trip out the following day. As a result, they were awake early the following morning and, after Lucy showered and Luke washed (not wanting to risk damaging his cast in the shower), they wasted no time in getting ready for the day ahead. For Luke, this entailed simply combing his hair, pulling on his chest-binding vest, his trusty Newcastle United shirt and a pair of loose jeans, followed by his special outdoor sock over his cast and his favourite brown jacket.

Lucy, however, intended to make a statement following her feelings of inadequacy during the previous evening's chat with Laura and her friends. She didn’t intend to wear anything as formal as the dress the blonde trans girl had modelled the previous day, but she didn’t intend to be a slouch either, so she eschewed her usual look of her university hoodie, a denim skirt and leggings in favour of something less 'casual.' After stretching a pair of thin black tights over her hairless legs, she stepped into a short tartan skirt she’d bought with her birthday money, musing on how much shorter it was than most of her other skirts. A clingy black top with a low-cut round neck followed, along with a cropped black leather jacket and a pair of shoes with a 1.5” wedge heel and a thin ankle strap. After checking that her plain but elegant make-up was free of flaws, she grabbed her favourite handbag and headed down the stairs to where her brother was waiting.

“Took your time,” Luke teased, earning an eye roll from his sister as she opened the door for him.

“Really?” Lucy asked. “No comment on how I look?”

“Like I’ve said a million times before, any comment would be inappropriate coming from your twin brother,” Luke replied. “Though that is a look I haven’t seen on you before.”

“Thanks, I think,” Lucy chuckled, before taking a deep breath as she stepped out into the spring air and immediately shivered, a sudden feeling of vulnerability washing over her as the world stretched out before her.

In the safety of her bedroom, she had felt confident and feminine. She looked — and more importantly, felt — delicate, girlish, and maybe even sexy. However, in her room, she’d only had to convince an audience of one. Out on the street, she’d have to convince everyone — and Covid had meant that it had been a long time since she’d presented herself to the world in such a manner. Lucy knew that she wasn’t alone — her brother would stand by her as he always had, as would Susie and Gavin — but she wished that was enough to fight off her paranoia. Paranoia that was not helped when she saw her and Luke’s oldest friend approach them while wearing nothing but a hoodie and a pair of old, ripped jeans with no make-up on her face, yet still looking effortlessly feminine — more feminine even than Lucy, in the tall trans girl's mind at least.

“Hey guys!” Susie said with a wide grin as she approached, but remained two metres away from the twins. “Gav not here yet?”

“Not heard from him yet,” Luke replied as he and Lucy donned their facemasks. “What’s the plan for today, then? Just heading to the Metro Centre to hang out?”

“Aye, sounds good to me,” Susie replied. “I mean, it doesn’t sound like MUCH, but after the last twelve months….”

“Totally,” Lucy concurred. “It’ll be nice to do some actual shopping other than on my phone, heh.”

“Irony being that you’re going with two guys and one girl who exclusively shops on her phone, Covid or no Covid,” Susie retorted, smirking as the tall girl giggled. “But I can make an exception this one time, hehe!”

“Me too, as long as we stop at GAME as well,” Luke chuckled. “Want to pre-order the new Resident Evil game that's coming out next month.”

“If you insist, BOY,” Lucy teased, giggling as a smug smile spread across her brother’s face.

“You’re feeling sassy today, Luce!” Susie teased her friend. “Looking hot, too!”

“Thanks!” Lucy said, grateful for the validation as she posed to show off her short skirt to her friend. “I felt I kinda, like, had to ‘up my game’ after yesterday’s call, heh.”

“Hmm, funny that I didn’t,” Susie replied as she showed off her well-worn jeans and loose hoodie, before sighing sympathetically. “But seriously, I do get where you’re coming from. Priya’s London friends would make anyone feel, well, ‘inadequate,’ I guess.”

“But like I’ve said, it’s not a competition,” Luke added. “God knows there are plenty of trans guys out there who are taller than me, more muscular than me, have actual, proper facial hair rather than whatever the hell I have going on on my chin and also have, well, ‘attachments.’ And probably don’t have hollow bones either, heh.”

“And I’m willing to bet that most of them would give their left — well, leg — for a date with Lucy,” Susie said, giggling as Lucy blushed. “And I’d also be willing to bet that if it wasn’t for Covid, both of you would now be in a relationship. With — with other people, like, not — well…“

“We guessed,” Luke chuckled, before sighing sadly as they saw the fourth member of their group approach.

“Hey, you three,” Gavin said with a tired sigh of his own as he rolled along the pavement in his wheelchair.

“Gav, mate,” Luke said gently. “If you’re not feeling up to today, we could always…”

“I am absolutely, 100% up for today,” Gavin interrupted, before taking another sigh. “My body, on the other hand, isn’t. AGAIN. So I don’t need pity, but I do kinda need someone to push this thing for me before my arms fall off, heh.”

“Girls, looks like you’re both playing nursemaid today,” Luke said with a smug grin as he gestured to his crutches, while Susie grabbed the handles of Gavin’s wheelchair and began to push him toward the nearest Metro station.

“Don’t get used to this,” Susie said, before letting out a quiet giggle of her own.

It didn’t take long for the four friends to reach the station and, after buying their tickets, they headed down to the platform to wait for their train to Gateshead. However, as they waited, they quickly found themselves attracting unwanted attention.

“Hey look, the freak circus is in town,” the four friends heard a sneering teenaged voice shout, immediately making them all tense up.

“Just ignore them,” Lucy sighed, even as she felt tears start to well in her eyes. “Petty little men with petty little minds and petty little dicks.”

“What did you just say!?” The same teenager who had heckled the group yelled, his amusement being instantly replaced by rage. “You don’t fucking say that to me you dirty fucking tranny!” Lucy bit her lip as fear and anger caused every nerve ending in her body to stand on end, but held her nerve and kept walking along with her friends.

“Luce,” Luke whispered. “Maybe we should…“

“I SAID YOU DON’T FUCKING WELL SAY THAT TO ME!” The teenager screamed in a barely coherent voice as he suddenly charged toward the group.

Lucy didn’t hear what happened next — all she was aware of was the feeling of two hands on her back roughly shoving her forward, causing her to lose her balance and go crashing to the floor. As she fell, she tumbled into her brother, who landed awkwardly on his injured leg — though any concern for his own safety was swiftly dismissed as he looked up to see his sister lying prone on the edge of the platform, her head and right arm hanging over the edge as two teenagers — including, Luke assumed, the one who had shouted at them — descended on her and began kicking and stamping on her legs.

The assault lasted for less than ten seconds, but to the twins, it felt like an eternity. Luke had never felt as helpless as he did then, seeing his sister be set on by the teenaged animals, while Lucy herself was feeling her entire body go numb and barely registering each hit, until the thought entered her mind that her life might be about to end.

As soon as it had begun, the assault ended with Luke seeing in his peripheral vision the two thugs running off, pursued by a member of the transport police. Meanwhile, a crowd of concerned onlookers helped Lucy back to her feet, only for her to immediately go limp in their arms and be guided to the nearest bench. With assistance from Susie, Luke scrambled to his feet and hobbled over to his sister, holding her in his arms as she quietly wept into his shoulder

The next hour seemed to pass in a blur for both twins as she remained on the bench, refusing the offer of help from onlookers while Susie kept her topped up with sweet tea from a nearby cafe — donated by the owners free of charge — to try to calm their nerves. Mere minutes after the attack, police officers arrived to speak to and take statements from the twins, as well as phone footage from any onlookers. Shortly afterward, with Lucy refusing to be taken to hospital, a taxi arrived to transport the twins back home. Luke kept glancing at his sister all throughout the ride home, but the twenty-year-old girl betrayed no reaction, merely staring blankly out of the window and remaining silent. When the taxi arrived home, Lucy stepped out of the car, silently gesturing to her brother that she could get out of the car by herself. As she walked up the path to the house, though, she stumbled, having to catch herself on a nearby fence multiple times before eventually reaching the front door and letting herself and her brother into the house.

“Yas back quick!” Paul called from his small office area, chuckling as he went to greet the twins. “Did yas forget something, or…” the middle-aged man paused as his daughter stood before him, trembling and as pale as a ghost. Her hair was mussed, her make-up trashed and her clothing was dirty and torn. “L- Lucy?” Paul whispered, before rushing forward to hug his daughter as she broke down in a flood of tears.

As Lucy fell into her father's arms, though, she couldn’t help but muse on how awkward it felt, how awkward her father felt — and how awkward she felt to be in the position of needing to be held.

While Luke filled in Paul on what had happened, Lucy headed upstairs to change, rejecting her father’s offer of assistance out of fear of yet more awkwardness. As she looked at herself in the mirror, though, she let out a long, anguished sigh.

While her make-up look had been flawless when she left the house, it was wrecked upon her return, with her lipstick smudged, her mascara running all down her face and the make-up doing nothing to hide the ugly purple bruise that was developing on her chin. Her face was not the only part of her that had sustained damage, though — her left palm was badly grazed and bleeding, while deep bruises were visible on her legs through her shredded tights. Lucy moaned as she slid the clingy hosiery off her legs, moaning even louder as she inadvertently left blood stains on her shoes and her skirt — not that she’d ever be wearing the skirt again due to the large tears on the hem. Her jacket had been scuffed, but not torn, which Lucy was grateful for, along with her top escaping damage, but what stood out to Lucy the most — literally — was that in the altercation, her genitalia had become untucked.

Standing before her in the mirror was a person who was dressed as a girl… but unmistakably had a penis. If she stripped to her underwear, she’d be a person wearing a bra and a pair of panties… who had a penis. Even if she was fully covered up and perfectly ‘tucked,’ she’d still have a penis — and as the day’s events had proved, people didn’t even need to see it to ‘know’ about her. Meaning that even if it was no longer there, people would still ‘know’ about her. Everyone would always be able to ‘know’ about her, just as she’d never be able to ‘forget’ about herself….

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Paul whispered, slumping back into the sofa as Luke finished recounting the day’s events for him. “Did yas get an incident number? Or at least contact details o’ tha cops who are dealing with the case?”

“We got a number, yeah,” Luke replied with a whisper.

“Good,” Paul said. “’Cause even though I know he won’t, I want that bastard ta spend the rest of his miserable life in a prison cell. No… UNDER a prison cell.”

“Sounds good to me,” Luke said with an angry snort, before frowning with confusion as his twin walked down the stairs into the living room. “…Luce? Are- are you okay?”

“No,” the twenty-year-old replied as they sat down opposite Luke and their father, dressed in their university hoodie and plainest pair of jeans. “I- I’m not. I- I’ve come to a decision. I don’t- I don’t think I want to be a woman anymore….”

TO BE CONTINUED

“I- I’m sorry, what?” Luke asked incredulously as Paul muttered a barely audible ‘Jesus Fucking Christ’ under his breath.

“I said that I don’t want to be a woman any more,” the distraught youngster replied. “I don’t want to be a woman, and I don’t want to be called ‘Lucy’ any more.”

“Well it’s going to be confusing around here with two ‘Lukes,’ ” Luke replied. “’Cause I sure as hell am not giving this name up.”

“Alright, okay,” Paul said loudly, instantly silencing his two children. “Lu- Lucas, that’ll what I’ll call ya for now ta avoid any confusion. That’s what we’d have called ya both if we had two boys anyway, Luke and Lucas.”

“…I can live with Lucas,” the newly named young man said quietly, feeling his cheeks burn as he faced his family. “…Yeah, Lucas — Lucas Miller. I like that.”

“So… what, that’s it?” Luke asked. “Ya have one setback and ya just quit?”

“Wh- ‘setback?’ ” Lucas replied indignantly. “I nearly DIED today! If I’d fallen one foot further I’d have been on the tracks!”

“O- okay, maybe ‘setback’ was the wrong word,” Luke conceded. “But it’s not like you, you know, broke your leg or anything?”

“Guys! Enough!” Paul snapped, instantly silencing his two children. “Luce- Lucas. Are ya — are ya absolutely sure about this? ‘Cause over the last few years, everything yas been through, even the hormones you’ve been taking you — I mean, I don’t want to word it like your brother, but this — isn’t this a bit sudden?”

“…Over the last couple of years, have you ever taken the time to ask me how I’m truly feeling?” Lucas asked, earning a stern stare from his father in reply.

“Whenever I thought you needed help,” Paul replied with a low growl. “Which wasn’t often thanks to Covid, you being away most of the time and — oh yes — the fact that ya couldn’t trust me or your mam with your secret for months — years, even.”

“I’ve been around the whole time, though,” Luke said firmly. “By your side every second of the day. And you’ve never said ANYTHING to me. Whatever happened to ‘what we do, we do together?’ ”

“How could I have told you when I knew you’d react like this?” Lucas asked, before biting his lip to hold back tears as the front door opened and the twins’ mother rushed into the living room with a clear look of anguish on her face.

“I got home as soon as I could,” Sarah said, before holding back tears as she saw Lucas’s bruised face. “Oh god, Lucy…” Lucas sniffled and allowed himself to openly weep as his mother held him in a gentle, loving hug, but his relaxation was short-lived.

“Not anymore,” Luke snorted, making Lucas groan as a confused look spread over their mother’s face.

“L- Lucy?” Sarah asked, her frown deepening as Lucas shook his head.

“N- no,” the young man whispered. “I- I’m not Lucy anymore. I- I’m Lucas.” The young man tried to hold back his tears as his mother looked at his father for explanation, only to be met with a shrug from the older man.

“L- Luce- Lucas,” Sarah said softly. “Are… are you sure about this? Have you talked it through with your counsellor?”

“N- not yet,” Lucas mumbled. “I- I’m going to, umm, going to arrange a call for later.”

“Well, I hope you talk it through with her carefully,” Sarah said, still visibly struggling to process what she’d been told. “It- it’s a big decision, and-“

“Yeah, I- I know it’s a big decision,” Lucas interrupted, leading to an awkward silence in the room.

“Well, umm, if- if you’re sure,” Sarah mumbled.

“Mm,” Lucas grunted in reply. “I should — I should get upstairs, call Dr Adams….”

“Lu- umm, Lucas, wait,” Luke said, scrambling to his feet and hobbling toward his twin. “I- I want to understand. Like, why you’re doing this. P- please?”

“I- I need some space,” Lucas replied, turning his face so as to hide the tears in his eyes and unknowingly preventing himself from seeing the tears in his twin's eyes.

Defeated, Luke fell back onto the sofa, sinking into his seat as his parents headed into the kitchen to talk. To Luke, his twin’s announcement had come completely out of the blue. Every time Luke had seen ‘Lucy,’ ‘she’ had shown no signs of believing ‘herself’ to be anything other than 100% female. Luke found it impossible to believe that if Lucy — or rather, Lucas — had been unhappy, he wouldn’t have told him. They’d shared everything — not just the good times, but the difficult times as well. Luke had always felt that he could trust his twin with anything and that the reverse was also true, but if Lucas felt that he couldn’t confide in him, Luke wondered just how close they truly were — and whether Lucas felt as alone as he now felt….

In his bedroom, after trying and failing to reach his counsellor by phone, Lucas sent an email instead, requesting an urgent appointment, before opening his wardrobe and his drawers and feeling his head start to spin. In front of him was the collection of clothes that he had yearned to have for so long, that were once contraband but had since become his everyday. Lucas sighed as he pulled out the three nearly identical denim miniskirts that had become part of his — or rather, ‘Lucy’s — signature look at university. When he’d first worn them, they’d felt almost like armour, garments that ‘Lucy’ could use to protect ‘herself’ and send a statement to the world that she was unambiguously a woman. However, after the morning’s events, ‘Lucas’ saw them less as armour and more like a target he’d deliberately painted on his back.

Lucas felt the pain and regret build inside him as he emptied drawer after drawer onto his bed — blouses, bodysuits, dresses, skirts and even shorts and jumpsuits ended up in the pile. Underwear followed next — tights, panties and bras, the latter of which made Lucas feel especially conflicted as he felt the imperceptibly small but tender mounds on his chest. ‘Lucy’ had worn a bra that morning, but ‘Lucas’ would almost certainly never need to wear one again. As Lucas ran his finger over the soft cotton of the undergarment, though, he began to feel sad — almost nostalgic for the feeling against his chest….

Lucas’s attention was snapped away from his growing garment pile by his phone beeping to inform him of a new message. Lucas smiled and sighed when he saw the message was from his and his brother’s oldest friend — but he frowned when he read what the message actually said.

‘Are U ok?’ Susie’s message read, followed by several ‘sad’ emojis. ‘Just had a text from Luke saying you’ve had an odd turn?’ Frowning, Lucas replied with a simple text of ‘I’m fine’ before switching his phone to silent and sitting down at his dressing table, growling angrily as he saw his plain reflection.

His anger had been directed toward his brother — after all, who was he to ‘out’ Lucas to their friends before he was ready? However, as Lucas stared at his reflection, he realised that all his brother had done was bring forward the inevitable. Even with his hair hanging loosely around his face, even after months on oestrogen, the truth was that he had a man’s face. Even when covered with make-up — as it was that morning — it would always be a man’s face. Lucas would have no trouble passing as a man again, and as he slicked his hair back and looked at his reflection, he realised he couldn’t NOT pass as a man.

Sighing, Lucas picked his phone back up and prepared to send a more detailed, not to mention more honest text to Susie, only to discover that he’d had several missed calls in the time he was sat at his dresser — not from the ginger-haired girl, but from Kieran. Frowning, as he'd always thought of Kieran as more Luke's friend than Lucy's, Lucas hit redial and prepared to lay down on his bed to take the call, only to sigh when he remembered that the contents of his wardrobe were strewn over the bed — not to mention two lace-fringed pillows and delicate pink cotton sheets.

“Lucy, thank god,” Kieran said, answering the phone after two rings. “Susie told me what happened today at the metro station, I was worried sick about you guys!” …And as Susie witnessed that first-hand, that’s fair enough, Lucas thought, musing on how he didn’t flinch or even react to being called ‘Lucy.’

“It — yeah…” Lucas sighed. “The important thing is that me and Luke are both okay, just a few cuts and bruises, that’s all.”

“…Lucy?” Kieran asked his voice filled with confusion. “Are you sure you’re okay? You sound kinda, like, weird, like you’re not yourself?” Lucas smirked in bemusement at his friend’s comment — he’d spent so long imitating a feminine voice that reverting to what he felt was his ‘natural’ voice felt strange to him as well and as Kieran had never heard that voice before, it no doubt would come as a surprise to him.

“Yeah, I’m….“ Lucas replied, before sighing. Their friends would have to find out sooner or later…. “I- I’m not, like, ‘Lucy’ anymore. I — my name is now ‘Lucas.’ I- I’m not a woman, like, anymore.” Lucas bit his lip and tried not to cry as his friend paused before continuing.

“…Are you sure about this?” Kieran asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Positive,” Lucas replied. “I- ugh. Something’s been, like, ‘wrong’ for a while now. Like, ‘off.’ I didn’t know what it was but it- it turns out it was me all along. This morning just proved that, I guess.”

“Still though, it’s a bit of an extreme reaction, isn’t it?” Kieran asked. “I don’t know whether or not this would be offensive, but — you never struck me as being, like, masculine. You were — well, I guess ‘Lucy' was — just as girly as, like, Priya, or Claudia or any of the other girls on campus.”

“No offence taken,” Lucas replied with a shrug. “And I- I hope you don’t take offence, but — why were YOU of all people looking at the girls on campus?”

“Umm, no reason, just…” Kieran mumbled in reply, before sighing. “Lu- Lucas, I — will you, like — I mean, what are- what are you going to do with, you know, ‘Lucy’s’ clothes?”

“I dunno,” Lucas replied with a shrug. “Sell the fancy stuff on eBay, give the cheaper stuff to Oxfam, I guess. Why?”

“Can- can I have some of it?” Kieran asked in a small, almost terrified sounding voice.

“Why would you want any of my old cl- oh,” Lucas said, his eyes widening as he pieced together what his friend was implying. “So- so you-“

“Yeah,” Kieran whispered. “And I didn’t want you to find out like this, especially not with what you’ve been through, but- ugh. For what it’s worth, I DON’T consider myself to be transgender, at least not- not fully. But there are times when, you know, there’s a part of me that wishes they were a bit, like, more girlish. And again, I am SO sorry that you ended up finding out like this, on today of all days, but….“

“Don’t — don’t worry about it,” Lucas chuckled. “And obviously I’m happy to be your, like, ‘secret keeper’ if ever you need someone to talk to about this. And yes, obviously, you can have your choice of the clothes.”

“Thanks,” Kieran said gently. “And obviously, I’ll give them all right back if you ever change your mind about being ‘Lucas.’ Or even if, you know, you ever feel like being ‘Lucy’ again even for an evening, or whatever.”

“Trust me, that’s not going to happen,” Lucas scoffed.

“You say that now,” Kieran said. “But will you still feel that way in a week’s time?” Lucas paused to think — for years he’d been obsessed with becoming ‘Lucy,’ with being able to express the feminine feelings he’d harboured for his entire life. And while he’d rejected that life following the assault that morning, it didn’t mean that those feelings never existed. It also didn’t mean that he could never be feminine again, if he wanted to — after all, he could follow Kieran’s example and 'dip his toes in' occasionally if he so chose.

“…I’ll let you know in a week’s time,” Lucas said quietly, smiling when his friend laughed. “And thanks for feeling you could trust me with your secret, I know how hard that must have been for you. Heh, I know first hand how hard that must have been.”

“That’s why I knew that whether ‘Lucy’ or ‘Lucas,’ you were the perfect first person to tell,” Kieran whispered. “It was one of my resolutions for 2021, to tell someone — preferably you. Heh, guess my plans just got moved forward a bit. And obviously, if you ever need any help, any assistance, anything at all, please, PLEASE call me. I do not like it when one of my friends is hurting.”

“Sorry,” Lucas mumbled.

“Oh- no,” Kieran said firmly. “YOU don’t apologise. That fascist scumbag who hurt you? THEY should be sorry. Them and everyone like them.”

“No argument here,” Lucas chuckled. “So, umm- do you want to come to Newcastle to, like, pick up the clothes or something?”

“It can wait until we’re back at uni,” Kieran said. “And I repeat: as far as I’m concerned, I’m only borrowing them, keeping them safe for you.”

“Keeping them warm?” Lucas teased, smiling when his friend giggled.

“Cheeky,” Kieran replied. “And obviously, when we’re back at uni, I’ll introduce you to ‘Kiera,’ hehe!”

“I look forward to it!” Lucas said. “Talk to you soon, Kieran.”

“You’d better,” Kieran replied, before ending the call. As he laid back on his bed, Lucas let out a long, tired sigh. He remembered back to the time in Autumn 2019, when Kieran had worn his skirt and university hoodie back to their dorm when he and Luke had been surprised by their father — why hadn’t he pick up on the clues then? And if ‘Lucy’ had had ‘Kiera’ as a confidante — in much the same way that Luke had his fellow trans man friend Anthony — maybe he wouldn’t have made the same decision….

“Hey,” Luke grunted as Lucas slunk down the stairs to sit next to him on the sofa. “Did ya talk to Dr Adams?”

“Ah- no,” Lucas replied. “Left a message.”

“You were talking to SOMEONE….” Luke said as he engrossed himself in his own phone.

“Oh- yeah, umm, I- I talked to Kieran,” Lucas said.

“Right,” Luke said. “Ya can talk to Kieran, but not me, then?”

“HE called ME,” Lucas retorted. “And anyway, why have you already told Susie about me being — well, ‘me’ again?”

“I didn’t,” Luke snarled. “I just said that you were feeling unwell after what happened. Which you ARE.”

“Just ‘cause I’m not transitioning anymore, it doesn’t make me unwell,” Lucas spat.

“I didn’t say THAT,” Luke retorted angrily. “Luce- ugh. You’re shaken up after what happened. I am too. I was after that twat Barnes broke my leg, too. I was so blinded by anger, I couldn’t think straight for days, especially when I was cooped up by myself in hospital.”

“I’m not angry, though,” Lucas said. “Maybe I’m getting angrier now….”

“I didn’t say that YOU were angry,” Luke said. “I’m saying that you’re scared. God knows anyone would be in your position.”

“…Maybe a little,” Lucas mumbled, biting his lip to blink back tears before letting out a long, pained sigh. “Where are mum and dad?”

“Mum’s in the kitchen,” Luke replied. “Dad’s gone out for a bit, I dunno where.”

“Hopefully NOT to find the bastard from this morning,” Lucas grumbled, before sighing and standing up. “I- I’m gonna see if mum needs anything. D’you want anything from the kitchen?”

“No thanks, I’m not hungry,” Luke mumbled, sighing before picking his phone back up and opening Facebook. Taking this as a hint that his company was no longer desired, Lucas let out a long sigh and headed into the kitchen, where he discovered their mother busy preparing what looked like a cake.

“Oh, hi Lu- umm, Lucas,” Sarah said in an almost nervous voice as the young man entered the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?”

“N- no, I’m okay,” Lucas replied. “I was just wondering if, y’know, you needed a hand with anything in here?”

“No, I’m fine,” Sarah replied. “Just making up one of those coconut cakes that you and Luke both love, you know, like you had on your birthdays?”

“Thanks,” Lucas said with a smile.

“Your grandma taught me this recipe when I was about your age,” Sarah said as she continued mixing. “I always thought I’d pass it down to my daughter one day, heh.”

“Well… what stopped you?” Lucas asked, biting his lip as his mother put down her bowl.

“Well, for one thing, a daughter who decided one day that she didn’t want to be a daughter anymore,” Sarah replied in a dark voice. “And then ANOTHER daughter who decided one day that she didn’t want to be a daughter anymore either.”

“Well — umm…” Lucas replied as he felt tears well up in his eyes once again. “You can — you can always, you know, teach me still, like, I’d LIKE to learn, still….”

“Well, then it wouldn’t be a mother-daughter tradition, would it?” Sarah retorted, not seeing the tears well in her child’s eyes.

“I- I’m sorry,” Lucas mumbled.

“I wish — I just wish I understood what was going on with you,” Sarah sighed. “You AND Luke.”

“You could always ask us,” Lucas said. “As a kid I was always jealous of how close you and Luke were, all the things you did together. Then I come out as your daughter, and it’s like you didn’t even want to know me.”

“…You were already at university at the time,” Sarah reminded her child. “And we were locked down literally days after you came out, it’s not like we could’ve done anything together even if we wanted to!”

“ ’If’ we wanted to?” Lucas asked.

“…Maybe you should ask your brother if he wants this cake,” Sarah said in a low voice. “I wouldn’t want it to go to waste, after all…”

“Maybe I should,” Lucas said, walking out of the kitchen and past his brother without saying a word. Lucas rushed up the stairs and into his bedroom, where he flopped down on his bed, surrounded by all of ‘Lucy’s discarded wardrobe and wept into his pillow….

Luke allowed himself to lose track of time, as he browsed through social media on his phone after his argument with his twin, only finally looking up when Paul walked through the front door, dramatically sighing as he sat down in his usual living room chair.

“…Good drive, then?” Luke asked nonchalantly.

“I didn’t mind tha drive so much,” Paul replied. “It was when I got ta where I was going that things got a bit less good.”

“Okay….” Luke said. “Where did you go, anyway?”

“Ta see your grandparents,” Paul replied, sending a shiver down Luke’s spine.

“Okay,” Luke mumbled. “And as you presumably DIDN’T drive all the way from the north of England to the south of Spain and back again in 45 minutes, I assume you mean…“

“Yep,” Paul said, staring at his hands clasped in front of him before continuing.

“…And I’m guessing it didn’t go well, then?” Luke asked. “I’m not sure I even WANT to know….”

“Well, ta cut a long story short,” Paul said, “I told ya grandpa about your leg, about today’s — well, ‘incident,’ about Lucy-slash-Lucas….”

“…And?” Luke asked.

“And….” Paul replied, before taking a deep breath and sighing. “He said — and I quote — ‘I hope they had some sense kicked into them.’ ”

“Wha… seriously?” Luke asked with an angry sneer.

“Yep,” Paul sighed. “Though I imagine he got even angrier after I told him he could fuck off.”

“Seriously?” Luke asked with a chuckle.

“Seriously,” Paul echoed. “I thought his head wa’ going to explode when I said it ta him. I made it very clear ta him that either he supports his grandchildren for who they are, or as far as I’m concerned, he’ll have no grandchildren and no son either.”

“…Thanks,” Luke whispered, blinking back a tear of his own. “That — that can’t have been easy.”

“Sprinting up the side of Everest would’ve been easier,” Paul said with an exhausted-sounding laugh. “I hope you never have ta — well, I hope I never do anything that’ll make yas — both you and Lucas — have to talk ta me tha way I talked to my dad. AND my mam. She looked heartbroken, bless her, but she — I don’t think she’s ever once dared ta speak up ta my dad as long as I’ve been alive. Which is no doubt why he married her, heh.”

“Yeah,” Luke whispered as his cheeks began to burn. “I- I’m sorry that you had to, like, go through that, and-“

“No! YOU don’t ever need to apologise,” Paul interrupted, before giving his son a reassuring smile. “If my dad wants ta be stuck in tha 1970s, then he can stay there for all I care. Keeping yas both happy is my priority, not keeping him happy.”

“Thanks,” Luke said, sharing a genuine smile with his father.

“And on that subject, I still feel bad that yas had your day of fun ruined, with Susie and Gavin,” Paul said. “I think your mam’s baking a cake, how about ya invite them round and we’ll have some dinner out in tha garden today?”

“What, like a rule of six, socially distanced belated birthday party?” Luke asked, smirking as Paul nodded. “Well I know I’D love that. Can’t speak for ‘Lucas,’ though….”

“I’ll go and talk ta him,” Paul said softly. “You go and text Susie, let her know tha offer stands. Probably.”

“Okay,” Luke said, picking his phone back up as his father disappeared upstairs. With a sigh, Luke opened his messaging app and read back through the messages he’d earlier exchanged with his flame-haired friend.

‘Are U home yet?’ Susie had texted. ‘Lmk when you’re home, I’m really worried about you two.’

‘We’re back,’ Luke had replied. ‘I’m okay. Can’t say the same for Lucy.’ Luke took a deep breath as he scrolled to the unread message he had received since sending his reply.

‘Oh no,’ Susie had typed with a ‘sad’ emoji. ‘Wish there was something I could do for you both. Send her all my love xxx’

‘Will do,’ Luke typed, before sighing, deleting his message and pressing the ‘call’ button on his phone. Luke didn’t even have to wait for a second ring before his friend answered.

“Luke?” Susie asked, almost in a state of panic. “Oh, thank god! Are you guys okay? Still at home? You said something was wrong with Lucy, is she okay? Is-“

“We’re both — well, ‘fine’, I suppose,” Luke replied.

“You don’t sound ‘fine,’ ” Susie retorted. “Is your leg okay? And what’s up with Lucy? She texted me back, but-”

“My leg’s fine,” Luke interrupted. “But Lucy, she- he- they- ugh. I- I dunno. It’s probably best that you speak to Lu- to ‘them’ yourself, get the full story that way.” Luke bit his lip and frowned as he found it impossible to refer to his twin — his brother — using male pronouns, even though he knew he would have to learn to, and quickly.

“Are- are you sure?” Susie asked.

“…I know that I am,” Luke replied. “Can’t speak for my twin, though….”

“Well, o- okay, I’ll call her, then,” Susie said. “I just wish that I could just, like, see you guys, reassure myself that you are both okay.”

“Honestly, we’re — physically, we’re fine,” Luke said firmly. “Though dad’s doing his usual ‘let’s all have something to eat and forget about the traumatising thing that just happened’ thing. If you fancy, I dunno, a barbecue or an outside dinner or whatever.”

“Text me the time and I’ll be there,” Susie said, bringing the smile back to her friend’s face.

“Thanks,” Luke whispered. “I- I’ll let you get off so you can talk to- well- yeah…”

“Yeah,” Susie whispered, not hearing her friend’s groan of frustration as she ended the call.

While his tears had long since run dry, Lucas remained on his bed having not moved an inch from where he had earlier flopped, his entire body numb from the day’s events. As he laid motionless on his bed, countless thoughts ran through his mind over and over- was he ever truly a woman? Were his feelings ever real? Did he only become ‘Lucy’ in order to help Luke? Did he ever even enjoy being ‘Lucy?’ He certainly never enjoyed sticking out like a sore thumb everywhere ‘Lucy’ went, nor did he enjoy the teasing, the scorn, the ridicule — or the physical abuse….

The sound of Lucas’s phone ringing distracted him from his funk, and a brief smile flickered across his face when he saw the caller ID.

“Hey Susie,” Lucas croaked weakly.

“Lucy, hi,” Susie said with an audible sigh of relief. “What — where are you right now? At home? Have you been up to the hospital at all?”

“Ah- no, I’m at home,” Lucas mumbled. “And it… umm, I- I’m not Lucy. I mean, like, not anymore. I’m- my name is Lucas. Well, now it is, anyway.”

“…Oh,” Susie said, audibly taken aback by her friend’s declaration. “I see. Umm, are you- is this, like- I mean, are…“

“I’m sure,” Lucas interrupted his friend. “I’m also sure I’m going to have to answer that question a million more times in the coming week, heh.”

“Well, it IS kinda a big deal, you know?” Susie retorted. “Changing who you are, how you present to the world, your…“

“It’s not like I haven’t done it before,” Lucas interrupted. “Heh, only this time people seem to be a LOT more willing to accept ‘Lucas’ than they were ‘Lucy.’ ”

“Well I’m not one of those people,” Susie said firmly, bringing a confused frown to Lucas’s face. “Don’t forget that I used to know ‘Old Luke.’ I know how miserable you were back then, how — well, ‘lacking direction’ your life was.”

“I’d rather have no direction than be thrown in the direction of an oncoming train,” Lucas retorted.

“Are you really going to let that obnoxious transphobic cunt win, though?” Susie asked. Lucas paused as he considered his answer. He’d been exposed to enough transphobia, both in-person and online — especially since the start of the pandemic — that he’d come to one unavoidable conclusion — ‘Lucy’ would never be accepted by some corners of society no matter how hard ‘she’ tried. ‘She’ would always face discrimination, abuse, violence… but Susie was right. Denying the existence of ‘Lucy’ would be giving in to what the transphobes wanted — for there to be one fewer transgender person in the world. However, Lucas reasoned that if that was their goal, and they wouldn’t stop until it was achieved, it would be better to be ‘Lucas’ and still alive than ‘Lucy’ and underneath an oncoming train.

“…I’m still alive,” Lucas replied. “I’m still in one piece. That’s a win as far as I’m concerned.”

“Really?” Susie asked. “Because to me it sounds less like a ‘win’ and more like ‘the absolute bare minimum anyone deserves.’ ”

“Well — let me ask you this,” Lucas said. “Would you be willing to accept ‘Lucas’ as a friend?”

“Yes, of course I’d be willing,” Susie replied without hesitation. “So would all of your real friends, you know that, right?”

“Then what have I lost by becoming ‘Lucas?’ ” the young man asked.

“That’s a question only you can answer, I guess,” Susie replied, before letting out a long, tired sigh. “Look, Luce- Lucas. Of course I’m going to support you. Of course I’m still going to be your friend. But I- I’m worried about you, you know?”

“Yeah, well, ‘Lucy’ was too, every time ‘she’ left the house,” Lucas replied. “ ‘Lucas’ has a lot less reason to be worried about going out in public. Can you argue against that?”

“Well- no, I guess I can’t,” Susie replied. “But is being safe enough to be happy?”

“You did A-level biology, you’ve heard of the hierarchy of needs,” Lucas said with a shrug. “Right now, ‘wearing a dress’ is pretty far down the list.”

“…I also know that the hierarchy of needs is a pyramid, and the more important stuff is toward the bottom,” Susie retorted.

“Top, then, whatever,” Lucas sighed as he sifted through the various garments on his bed, his fingers tingling at the feel of the soft fabric passing beneath them. The dark purple one-shoulder dress he’d worn with shiny leggings to an LGBT society event in his first year; the black and white striped bodysuit with the rhinestone detailing on the front; the dark grey ankle length skirt that swished around his legs with every step he took….

“Anyway, I- your dad’s apparently cooking a barbecue or something,” Susie said. “So I’m gonna see you later. Please, PLEASE don’t make any rash decisions you’ll regret later.”

“Eighteen months too late for that,” Lucas said, before letting out a quiet moan. “I- I’ll see you in a bit.”

“See you,” Susie whispered, hanging up the phone and leaving Lucas alone with his tears….

The twins spent the next couple of hours by themselves, Luke trying to distract himself with social media and games on his phone while Lucas sorted through the clothes on his bed. Lucas kept the clothes that were androgynous enough to pass off as men’s clothes until he was able to get 'proper' male clothing of his own, and sorted the unambiguously feminine clothes like skirts and dresses into another pile to give to Kieran. It was when Lucas reached the leggings and crop tops that he usually wore to dance society, though, that he let out a long sigh.

Despite ‘her’ initial reservations, ‘Lucy’ had ultimately had a lot of fun with the other girls at the dance society. ‘She’d’ lost weight, gained in fitness level and grown closer to ‘her’ new friends than ‘she’ ever had to anyone save Luke or Susie. ‘Lucy’ had even been looking forward to returning to the society after the Easter holiday and had been rehearsing for what ‘she’d hoped would be their first post-pandemic performance.

However, Lucas knew that it would raise too many questions for ‘him’ to show up and take over from where ‘Lucy’ left off. Sure, there were other boys in the dance society, but they were learning different steps to the girls — and besides, the boys weren’t Lucas’s friends, Priya, Claudia and Phoebe were.

Rather than put it off any longer, Lucas typed a quick message to Priya asking if she could call him, and sighing as his phone lit up mere seconds later with the requested call.

“Hey girlie!” The Indian girl said as her grinning face appeared on Lucas’s screen, making him fidget awkwardly — even when wearing no make-up and trying to present as male, Priya could only see 'Lucy.' Lucas mused on how it was more likely to be a case of Priya being more familiar with him as a girl than as a boy, but he also wondered whether ‘Lucy’ passed better than he’d thought — or whether ‘Lucas’ will struggle to pass as well.

“H- hi, Priya,” Lucas mumbled in reply. “I- I’m just calling ‘cause, umm, have- have you- like, has anyone told you what happened today?”

“No,” Priya replied, immediately frowning with concern. “Is- is everything alright?” Lucas took a deep breath to steady his emotions as he considered his response. “…Lucy?”

“Ph- physically, we’re fine,” Lucas replied. “Me and Luke we- ugh. We- we were attacked today. Assaulted, by, like a- a random member of the public-“

“Oh- oh my god,” Priya exclaimed. “Are you okay? What happened? Did they catch-“

“We- we’re fine, just a few bumps and bruises,” Lucas replied. “The police haven’t caught him yet but there was loads of CCTV. They think he targeted us ‘cause Gav was in his wheelchair and Luke was on crutches and- ugh. I’m sorry to have to burden you with this, but I- I wanted you to know before you heard from anyone else.”

“It’s not a ‘burden,’ not even close,” Priya said. “And I appreciate being told, I just wish there was something I could do for you. But we are TOTALLY having a girly day when we get back to uni, a day of pampering, or-“

“Yeah, that — that’s the other thing,” Lucas interrupted. “That — that probably won’t be appropriate, as I- I’m not, like, ‘Lucy’ anymore. I’m Lucas. I- I’m a boy again.”

“Oh, okay,” Priya said, taken aback by the news. “Are- are you su-“

“Yes, yes I’m sure,” Lucas interrupted, before sighing. “Sorry, I- I’ve just been asked that question a LOT today, that’s all.”

“It’s okay, I get it,” Priya said. “Is this — is this just because of the assault, though?”

“…Not ‘just’ because of it,” Lucas replied. “I- I’ve not been, like, happy for a while now.”

“Well — well why didn’t you say something?” Priya asked, tears starting to form in her eyes. “We could’ve done something to help you, I could’ve asked Laura and Ashley to call, I-“

“Yeah, I- I’m not sure that speaking to either of them would help much, no offence,” Lucas interrupted as 'Lucy's’ feelings of inadequacy bubbled back to the surface.

“They don’t just talk about, you know, frivolous stuff like dresses and dancing,” Priya retorted. “Both of them have been where you are, both — both of them have suffered violence as a result of being transgender. You know how Ashley always has that flick of hair over one of her eyebrows? It’s actually covering up a scar she got when another girl at school hit her in the face with a shoe. The scar’s very faint now and normally you can’t even see it when she’s put on make-up, but — well, she always knows it’s there. I don’t know if you’ve met Laura’s friend Ellie yet, she’s in her third year of uni and she’s experienced similar too.” So, three transgender girls, all of whom have experienced violence simply for being who they were, Lucas thought to himself. Four if you include me… should I include myself in that list?

“I- umm, yeah…” Lucas said, fidgeting awkwardly. “I’m not really sure that helps, sorry. And on the topic of dancing, I- umm…”

“Yeah, I- I get it,” Priya sighed. “I- I’ll talk to Kacey for you if you don’t want to do it yourself, but I- I’m sure that a space will always be held open for you. You or ‘Lucy.’ Same goes for just hanging out in general.”

“There’s no problem with me now being a boy, then?” Lucas asked.

“Should there be?” Priya replied, sharing a smile with her friend. “I’ll see you when we get back to uni but if you need to talk at any time, day or night, 24/7, just call, okay? ‘Cause when my friend’s hurting, it means I’m hurting too.”

“…Sorry,” Lucas mumbled.

“Apology NOT accepted, as you have nothing to apologise for,” Priya said, sharing another smile with her friend. “Take care of yourself, okay? Boy or girl, you’re still a friend, and that’s what’s most important.”

“Thanks,” Lucas whispered. “See you when we’re back at uni.”

“See you,” Priya said softly, before ending the call and leaving Lucas with the task of sorting out 'Lucy's’ remaining clothes. The young man sighed as he picked up the leggings and crop top he’d discarded earlier, before shaking his head, chuckling and returning them to the drawer they came from. After all, Lucas reasoned to himself, as close-fitting garments, it wouldn’t be appropriate to donate them to charity or to Kieran….

A short while later, as he continued to distract himself with his phone, Luke allowed himself a sly smile as the smell of baking began to fill the house. Grabbing his crutches, he slowly clambered to his feet and hobbled toward the kitchen.

“Hey mam,” Luke said, momentarily distracting Sarah from her task. “Is it someone’s birthday or something?”

“Ah- no,” the twins’ mother replied. “I just thought with your father planning a dinner party for everyone and — well, with the two of you, I- I thought you deserved a special treat. Like, to try to take your minds off of things.”

“Thanks,” Luke said with a smile. “Even if it will be more calories to burn off once I can finally get back to exercising properly, heh.”

“Oh please, as if there’s an ounce of fat on you!” Sarah teased, before smiling sadly. “I was… I was just telling your si- umm, your- just telling Lucas about this recipe, how I’d hoped one day to, you know, pass it down to a daughter like my mam taught it to me, that sort of thing.”

“I think I remember you telling me that when I was younger,” Luke mused. “Heh, I remember us doing a LOT of mother-daughter things together. Not that I ever appreciated any of them, heh.”

“Yeah, well, if I knew then what I know now,” Sarah said, before sighing. “…And if I knew then what I know now about your twin, heh.”

“She… heh. ‘He’ looked pretty upset when he went past a while ago?” Luke asked.

“Aye, well, I’m not surprised,” Sarah said. “I may- ugh. I may not have been as, you know, kind to him as I should’ve been. It’s… it’s a lot to take in, you know? Losing a daughter, gaining another one only to lose her as well, all in the space of two years. One of which was spent being unable to do literally ANYTHING you want to.”

“…Who was ‘lost?’ ” Luke retorted. “I’m still here. I’m still the same person I was before, only now I’m no longer pretending to be someone I’m not. As for Lucas… I think he’s got a lot of thinking ahead of him. I mean, selfishly, sure, I’d like a brother, but I’d much rather have a sibling who was happy with who he OR she was. That — that’s the same for you and dad, right? I mean, I don’t think I’m ever going to want kids of my own, and I don’t even want to, like, freeze any eggs, but…“

“You’re right, it is,” Sarah interrupted. “At least, it should be, heh. Before you were both born — but after we discovered that we were having twins — me and your dad would talk about things like ‘what if it’s two boys’ or ‘what if it’s two girls.’ We were both over the moon when we learned we were having one of each, but… yeah. You said that Lucas has to do a lot of thinking, well, so do all of us. And I- I think I need to talk to him again. Properly, I mean. Can you — can you take over in here for a bit? I just need you to mix the icing, that’s all, you can do it sitting down at the table if you need.”

“I’m okay to stand and do it,” Luke said with a smile that his mother reflected. “Do I need to add anything more to it?”

“No, just mix it until it’s spreadable,” Sarah replied. “…Though the full recipe’s on the side there, in case you want to have a look at it.”

“Thanks, mam,” Luke said, his smile widening as his mother left the kitchen.

With his task completed, Lucas sat alone in his bedroom surrounded by three piles of clothing. The first pile contained clothes he deemed androgynous enough to keep — jeans, sweaters and the odd t-shirt. Sure, they were made of a softer material than he’d worn when he was a boy, but Lucas didn’t see that as a bad thing — after all, his skin was the only one they’d come into contact with. the second pile contained clothes to give to Kieran or donate to charity — dresses, skirts, jumpsuits and any shirts or blouses that Lucas felt were now inappropriate for him. The third pile, though, was what made Lucas the most conflicted- clothes that were undeniably feminine, but that he couldn’t let go of.

A large part of the pile was made up of underwear — while he was happy to give to Kieran anything that he’d never worn, even items like panties and tights, Lucas reasoned that anything he had previously worn would not be appropriate. As he was reluctant to simply throw them away, he stored the items back in the drawer they’d come from until he knew for certain what he wanted to do with them. The same applied to the outfits that he considered ‘special’ — as well as his dance society clothes, he also put aside the skirt and top he’d worn to AngelCon in 2019, the jumpsuit he’d worn to a student party in the past and any dress he'd received as a Christmas or birthday present from family. Consciously, Lucas believed that he’d never wear the clothes again — at least, not in public — and yet he couldn’t bear the thought of another person wearing them, or worse yet, them ending up in a landfill somewhere.

“Knock knock?” Sarah said as she gently tapped on Lucas’s door, distracting the young man from his thoughts.

“C- come in,” Lucas said, clearing a space on his bed that his mother sat down in. “I- umm…”

“I- I just wanted to say I’m sorry, for snapping at you earlier,” Sarah said as she gave her son’s hand a gentle squeeze. “God knows it’s the last thing you needed today.”

“Well… I guess,” Lucas mumbled as tears flowed freely from his eyes. “And I- I’m sorry to, for everything…” The young man moaned with pain as he leaned into his mother for a long, badly needed hug.

“No- no, don’t EVER apologise for needing help, especially not mine,” Sarah said. “I’m the one who should be sorry, not just for how I treated you earlier, but for everything over the last eighteen months. I- I didn’t know how to react to you being my daughter. And I know now that I- I should’ve just asked. So I- I’m sorry. And I hope you can forgive me.”

“Of course I can forgive you, you’re my mam,” Lucas sniffled.

“And son or daughter, you’re my child and always will be,” Sarah said, openly weeping herself. “Whatever you need, whenever you need it, just ask. PLEASE ask.” Sarah frowned with confusion at the chuckles coming from her child. “Wh- what’s so funny?”

“I- heh,” Lucas chuckled. “I called Priya earlier- my friend from the dance club at uni, the Indian girl? She said the exact same thing.”

“Well that just means you have great friends, doesn’t it?” Sarah retorted. “But none of them can replace your mam. I hope you remember that in future, as I know I’m gonna from now on.”

“I will,” Lucas whispered as he leaned in for another much-needed hug, wondering yet again whether or not friends would accept 'Lucas' as easily as they'd accepted 'Lucy....'

A short while later, the family, along with Susie and Gavin, gathered in the back garden to eat the special meal that the twins’ parents had provided, with Sarah’s coconut cake being the undisputed star of the meal. Despite his initial anxiety — and a little initial awkwardness — Lucas was relieved when Susie and Gavin accepted his new identity just as easily as they’d accepted 'Lucy,' with the same being said for his friends from the dance society when he returned to university a few days later.

However, while Lucas’s fears were eased upon his return to university, his anxiety remained high — after all, while the girls from the dance society remained his friends, he felt even more out of place among them than he had as 'Lucy,' especially as he was no longer participating in the activity that had brought them together in the first place. Similarly, while he had a bond with Gavin and Kieran, he didn’t share their enthusiasm for football, leaving only Susie and Luke as the two people he felt comfortable simply being around. And while Lucas was undoubtedly grateful for their love and friendship, even there he felt anxious — especially around his brother. After all, they’d always promised each other than what they did, they would always do together, and by rejecting ‘Lucy,’ Lucas felt that for the first time ever, he was breaking that promise….