by Little Katie

Part 1

"Mom, where's my glove?" John yelled out.

"Where did you leave it?" his mother called back.

"I left it on the counter last night."

"Well, I put it in the closet, where it belonged."

John rolled his eyes and scampered off to his room. His mom always told him to put his things in their proper place, but as with most nine year olds he was busy thinking of other things.

Despite his forgetfulness of this rule, John was a good boy; he always minded his parents, did well in school, and participated in a number of extra curricular activities. Such as today, he had a little league game which he had to be at within the next hour. He was small for his age, not the smallest boy on the team but definitely near the bottom of the list. His brown hair was neatly combed, coming down just past his neck. If it wasn't for his mom though the hair would be in shambles. He checked himself out in the mirror, his red cap placed slightly crooked atop his head. He adjusted his jersey and made sure it was tucked in. He adjusted his belt so it was perfectly in the middle.

"Got to look good for all my fans," he spoke to his reflection.

"Well, sport, you better get something in that belly of yours before you faint in front of all your fans," his mom's appearance startled him, but the embarrassment of the situation caused him to blush.

"Come on downstairs and eat your Wheaties," she said as she patted him on the behind. John ran down the stairs and sat at the place his mom prepared.

His mom always did things like that to make John happy. The banana was already sliced in the bowl and all he had to do was add some milk. It took his mom a little longer these days to make it down the stairs, being seven months pregnant has that effect. John was half-way through the bowl when his mom came and slumped in the chair beside him. Soon he will have a new brother, someone to teach all kinds of cool things too. His parents decided to get the gender determined before hand, opting not to paint the nursery the wrong color.

"So kiddo" his mom began, "you all set for today's game?"

"Yeah, I hope I get a lot of at bats this game, I did good last week, didn't I?"

"As long as you try your hardest, you'll always do well."

His mom was always reassuring that way, always positive. John knew his role on the team though. He went in half way through the game and played right field. He knew he wasn't as good as some of the other kids, and some might even make it to the majors someday just on natural talent. He had fun just being part of the team and hanging out with his friends. Last game however he was exceptionally good, getting a hit in each at bat, including a triple. His dad had told him that the triple was the hardest hit to get, cause you had to run as hard as you could. He tried to make his dad proud and had felt he did that last week and wanted to repeat.

"I know," John continued, "but, it feels better when I get hits."

"You're a hit with me anyway, kid, no matter how you do in the game."

John just smiled, allowing a little milk to trickle down the side of his mouth. His mom wiped it with a paper towel before it got on the uniform. John took the paper towel and finished.

"I think Jessica is going to be there to watch you today."

"I guess." Jessica lived three doors down and had been a life-long friend to John. She was a year and a half younger but they always got along great, even if she was a girl. They always played each others games, which made it kind of fun at times. One time they would play house, and the next they would shoot some hoops. John didn't mind playing with her, she was the only one in the neighborhood that he could be with without needing a ride.

"Oh, you two look so cute together, what a couple." His mom teased.

"Mom!" John raised his voice, but the blushing gave it away that he did have certain feelings he could not yet explain.

"Okay, okay. Anyway we got to call you a cab. Remember, I'm picking up your dad and going to the doctor but we should be there for the start of the game and see our little slugger, okay?"

"Okay, you know I don't get in for awhile though so you don't have to rush, let the doctor make sure little brother is okay." John said as he patted his mother's stomach.

His mom pulled him into a hug. "You know we will. Soon there is going to be another person here, but your still my sweetie."

John laughed and gave his mother a peck on the cheek. His mom went to the phone and dialed the cab service. He heard her tell them park that they were playing at and the fact that it was a little boy. She hung up and gave John 10 dollars. "The cab is only 8 but you be sure to give the driver all 10 as a tip, okay. Your bat and bag are at the front door."

John put the cereal bowl and glasses in the sink and ran some water on them. He didn't have to clean it, but he did anyway. He was considerate that way. His mom sat at the table drinking coffee and chatted more about Jessica.

"I think she likes you, too, you know?"

"Mom she's only seven."

"She'll be eight in a month and that still doesn't change the fact that she likes you."

John wanted to know how mom knew that Jessi liked him. But, the cab was outside and blew its horn.

"Got to go mom, love you."

"See you soon."

John made his way to the door and his mom called out "don't forget your protection."

John grabbed his helmet, "Got it mom." Though talking about two different types of protection, John made an honest mistake. The protection that his mom was talking about was sitting on the bed, when she saw it she giggled.

"I better bring this with me." She laughed to herself and placed it in her carry bag.

----

John sat in the back seat of the cab, a nice plushy town car. He sat with his back on the door, his baseball bat resting between his legs as he taped the lower part of the handle. He always did this routine before a game. He had read that Derek Jeter did the same thing, and he liked to emulate his favorite player. John wasn't paying attention to the drive much and answered the driver's questions politely. Most of the questions dealt with baseball and how the Yank's were doing. Suddenly, John heard a loud screech; he looked up and saw the grill of truck then darkness.

----

"I saw the whole thing officer." a black gentleman said as he gasped for air. His arms were dirty with blood, some of it his own. His face had some ash on it and he was sweating profusely. As the EMT worked on cleaning him up an officer was taking notes.

"Go on, what happened?"

"Okay, it was that truck's fault first of all. I was sitting on the stoop, just having a bagel, watching the honeys, you know. Well, anyway, the cab went through the intersection, it had the light, man. Well this truck, the driver wasn't watching nothing. He went right through the red, man. Well bang, he tore right through the cab. Pinned it against the wall over there.

"Man, I ran over quick, there was that kid in the back, he was out, man. I thought he might be dead or something. Well their was a fire too, and I didn't want the kid to be dead if he wasn't. So I busted the back window, that's how I got these," he said showing the officer his scraped up arms. "Man, I pulled the kid out and put him on this side of the street, he was all busted up and bleeding. I tried to go back for the driver, I wanted to man, but it was too late. The fire was already inside, nothing I could do, man. The fireman pulled him out, I hope he's o.k. I hope they're both okay."

The officer had the gentleman sign the report and took down other information.

-----

"What do we have here?" the doctor yelled.

"Car accident sir, youth, lacerations to the head, possible brain damage and a gash in the groin region."

The attendant gave the doctor vital signs and approximated age and gender, based on clothing. They couldn't be to sure though. The wound to the head caused the doctors the most concern, the wound to the groin made determining gender with certainty impossible.

"Send him into ER3, get neurology down here, stat" the doctor barked out orders.

"Sir, ID has yet to be determined, we don't know who to contact."

"Mark that on his chart, we'll deal with the red tape later."

"Yes sir, the neurologist is here."

"The best way to deal with this is let Dr. Hetner work his magic on the head and I'll work on the wound to the groin."

The doctors each worked their perspective area. The neurologist stitched up a nasty cut that went from just above the eyebrow back to his ear. This was needed for the CAT scans that would follow and the MRI if need be. The swelling on the back of the head gave clues that the neck got snapped back and that their maybe some spinal cord injuries that may need attending.

The doctor working the lower end had his own set of difficulties. He determined the sex of this child by using medical knowledge, the outward physical clues were gone, completely. Some blunt object had torn the penis and testicles from the body.

"Nurse, did the EMS bring in a bio bag?"

"No sir, why?"

"He's missing something important."

"He, sir. Oh my."

"I can't make the decision which way to go on this one, not without parental notification and approval. Let's pack the wound and at least stop the bleeding. Call the police and let's try to trace the parents."

---
Several hours passed before Mr. and ms. Corsi arrived at the hospital. They new something was wrong when they arrived to the baseball field and didn't see John anywhere. They found out from the coach that he didn't arrive and a call to the cab company sent them calling the police department. It was finally from the police that they found out about the accident and made a mad drive to the hospital.

The doctors approached the couple. Explaining things to parents was always a task they hated. In this case at least the news was good, in light of how bad it could have been. The worry on the couples face was enough to know the concern they had.

"Mr. And Ms Corsi," the doctor looked down at the name, "let's step into the conference room."

John's parents followed even though their urge was to find out what was going on. They finally got into the room, John sr., John's dad, couldn't contain himself anymore.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on, I filled out more paperwork and got more run around and I still don't know a damn thing."

"Sir, we understand that, we apologize for that, your son has been in a terrible crash as I am sure you already know. I'm Dr. Lee and this is Dr. Hetner, a neurologist, he will explain our preliminary concerns and I will discuss some secondary ones, please sit down."

John's parents did just that. The office was at least comfortable, and some of their worry was put to rest by the fact that they weren't led to a morgue; but a neurologist was pretty serious stuff.

"Ok, lets get down to it," Dr. Hetner started. "any time a blow to the head occurs there is need for some concern." He placed an x-ray on a lighted wall. "As you can see there is some swelling here towards the rear of the skull, fortunately it is nothing too serious, he may have some headaches for a time and maybe some balance problems until the swelling goes down. Unfortunately though, the swelling is severe enough to render your son comatose. Now with any coma, there is no time frame as to when he will regain consciousness. It can be a few hours, a few weeks, maybe months."

John's mother began to cry, "My poor baby," she sobbed.

"It will be ok." Dad replied. Turning to the doctor "Is there anything we can do?"

"Yes, Mr. Corsi, spend time with him, talk to him, even in this state he may still be able to hear what you say."

"You mentioned secondary concerns" John's mom addressed Dr. Lee "what are they?"

"It has to do with his genitalia ma'am" Dr. Lee started.

"What about them?" John Sr. raised his voice slightly.

"They are gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"Somehow in the accident something tore them off, they were not recovered, and even if they were the time that has passed now would render them useless."

"What are our options?" John's dad said looking intently at Doctor Lee after a moment of stunned silence.

"Well, we re-routed the urinary tract for now the best we could, there are several options that we can take. We can leave it the way it is now and use hormones when the need arises in a few years. He won't be able to perform sexually though and that may cause some psychological problems. The second option we thought of unfortunately can't be performed do to the extent of the damage, we were thinking of having a plastic surgeon mold a penis and even though it wouldn't function as the real thing it would at least look 'normal'. But as I said the damage makes it impossible to do that.

"Finally, and the one I recommend, is sexual reassignment surgery, he will go through the remainder of his life as a female, which may not be ideal for you, but at least there would be some chance for a normal life, a plastic surgeon can fashion a vagina and make it look practically like he was born with it."

"Are you nuts?" John Sr. yelled.

"Sir, if you look at all the possible choices you have, you have to go with the one that will lead to the best quality of life. I didn't say it was the ideal situation, but it may be the best choice. In the end, the ultimate choice is left to you and your wife."

"How long do we have to make the choice?" John's mother asked.

"Preferably a few days, the operation can take place at any point, but right now the wound is open and we are going to have to close that soon. I would say 48 hours we are going to need to know how to continue."

"Give us that time, let us think, this is too much." Sr. answered.

"That will be fine, maybe now you would like to see your child."

"Yes, yes, that is the best thing I can think of right now."

The couple were led to their son's room. He lay on his back, his head wrapped in bandages. His mother cried and touched his cheek. His father put his arm around his wife, trying to be as reassuring as possible. It was a hard thing to see. They just watched him for awhile. Neither saying a word, each thinking how life can change.

----

John Sr. looked at his wife, she had fallen asleep a half hour before, it was a long day, it was good that she slept. He looked at his son, laying there still, tubes and wires coming out of his body. This day was suppose to be fun for him, now look at this. He knew the whole story of what had happened, poor breaks on a truck, poor timing on the cab. Nothing really could of prevented it.

"What are we going to do kid?" he said as he knelt by his child's side. "So young, full of dreams, can those dreams be altered so quickly? If you knew what they wanted to do, you'd probably throw a tantrum. Not that I can blame you mind you. But, what are the alternatives?

"Without your manhood, growing up a man will be hard. The things that you will miss out on, the agony of knowing what you can't have. Unable to fulfill a lovers desire, it's torture. The hormone shots, too, from what I hear, are no joy either. This shouldn't of happened to you sport. It's a tough choice, and unfortunately one you won't have any input on.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, going through life without one, it gets you in trouble you know. Oh, you probably don't yet, huh. You won't either, now that this has happened. Not real fair either, aye?

"But, we got to make this choice soon. Do what's best for you, even if you don't see it right away. We love you kiddo, no matter what you have there. I don't know still. It's not the choice I ever thought I'd make as a father. It isn't even between being boy or girl. Its between been girl or nothing, isn't it? If I was in your shoes, making the choice for myself, I wouldn't know what to do really. If I had to chose between being a girl or nothing, which one?

"If you keep going on as a boy, it's a sham, you'll be missing the part that makes you that. I guess the choice is obvious. I got to at least give you a chance of love. I hope when you wake up, you understand."

John Sr. sat down next to his wife, close to the bed, and dozed off. He wasn't suppose to spend his weekend here. His sleep was sporadic that night, the beeping of a machine, the sound of footsteps, a slight breeze, all caused him to wakeup. He just wanted this night to end, wanted to wake up in his own bed and realize that this was a poor dream. Each time he awoke he wished that, each time the reality of the situation made him rethink the whole thing.

In the morning they had to change the bandages, that seamed like a good enough time for John Sr. to take his wife to the cafeteria for breakfast and to discuss his decision. They sat in a bland room, eating bland food.

"You made a choice, I can tell." His wife said.

"I think so," John frowned.

"You're going to let them change him aren't you?"

"I can't think of any better solution, can you?"

"Its going to be rough."

"At first, but its going to be rough when he wants to be with someone and can't."

"I suppose, I just see him as a boy, you know me, I see now."

"Yes, but we got to look further on this one, this isn't should we take his training wheels off now or next week."

"I know, I wish he had a say in it though."

"Even if he was awake, I don't think he's capable of this choice, it's like asking him if he'd like to go to the dentist."

"Yeah, but its so drastic a change, it's not like when we painted his room when he went to camp last year."

"I know we will deal with it, one step at a time."

"Slowly, dear, o.k.""

"I know."

"Remember how you said you thought the baby would be a girl, because we should have one of each."

"I guess now we will, huh." John Sr. took his wife by the hand and placed it on her plump stomach. They just sat there in silence after that. Each one thinking if this was truly the best thing, each one knowing it was.

The Corsi family went to Dr. Lee's office and informed them of their decision. It wasn't received with any type of emotion, even though it was an emotional decision.

"I really think this is the best choice, I?m sure you took a lot of time to reach that conclusion to. I spoke to a plastic surgeon friend of mine about the possibility of the surgery happening. If you want we can even have it done later today. It is preferable that we do it as soon as possible, an open wound is not something we like to keep around here?"

"This afternoon would be fine. Can we watch?"

"Unfortunately no, you can't be in the OR and the hospital isn't set up with a viewing room. You can however wait close by, or if you want, you can make use of our chapel."

"We'll stay as close as possible."

-------

That afternoon the Corsi family waited outside two swinging doors. Beyond which their son was becoming no more and their daughter was being created.

They discussed how things would change. How his dad wanted to ease him into femininity and his mother wanted to immerse her new daughter into it. They decided it would best let her decide how she will embrace the new body.

There would be other obstacles as well. The doctor had told them that the swelling in their child's head had gone down tremendously and there was still no sign of irreversible brain damage. She might even wake up sooner then later.

They had started referring to John Jr. as her. Thinking it was best to get used to it as soon as possible. It was definitely going to be a change.

They played around with names also. At first, they were going to go with variations of John, maybe Joan or Joanne or Jane. They finally went with the name they had chosen for a daughter previously, when Mrs. Corsi was still carrying their first child; Emily. Of course they knew that she might not want to take her new name right away. But, they were satisfied in their choice.

After a few hours the doctors came out.

"Congratulations it's a girl" the plastic surgeon joked. No laughter greeted him so he went into the details of the operation. The lack of existing materials made it a little more difficult then usual. He informed them that the area would be red and take time to heal. But over all a success, theye may be need for further 'fine tuning'."

"Can we see--her?" Mrs. Corsi asked.

"Go right in."

They walked into the OR, it looked more sterile then it sounded. They saw their new daughter, the bandages finally were removed from her head. Mrs. Corsi pushed back the hair that was dangling on her forehead. "Sorry baby, we had to make this decision." She cried a little and gave a little kiss on her new daughter's cheek.

Her dad came up beside her. Started to sing a little lullaby.

"My little girl, pink and white like peaches and cream, is she my little girl? Plenty of boys pursue her, many a likely lad, many will try to woo her from her faithful dad, but my little girl gets hungry every night and she comes home to me."

On the last note the hospital staff came up to John, 'sir we need to move your son-"

"Daughter." he corrected.

"Sorry, daughter to her room now, you can meet her up there in just a little bit."

John reached down and kissed his daughter on the cheek, he hadn't kissed that body in a long time, the child had seemed to outgrow it. But, oh, how life can change.

by Little Katie

Part 2
Going Through the Stages

This is part 2, if you haven't noticed. This is the part of the story I like, got the intro out of the way. This deals more with the issue at hand, and has more dialogue, I hope you enjoy.

The last three days had not been pleasant ones for the Corsi family. Their child lay terribly injured in a hospital bed, and totally unaware of what had transpired. The games of summer were being missed, replaced by an endless sleep. John Corsi Jr. no longer existed really, replaced by a sleeping shell, a shell now female.

The continuing coma the wounded child had fallen into agonized the family, the feeling of helplessness invaded every particle of their being and sapped their will and energy. John Sr. skipped going to work, not because of a problem with his job, he honestly wished he were at work, at least he could be doing something, anything but waiting around. But he wanted to be there when his child woke up, he wanted to give her a hug and a kiss.

John still had problems referring to his child as her, mentally. It seemed so strange. Je corrected people if they made the error, but inside it still felt -- off. Things were definitely going to change, he could only hope not for the worst. He didn't really care that his son of nine years had been snatched away and replaced with a girl; at least his child still lived.

But just for now there were no signs of life, only a sleep that never seemed to end. John and his wife talked to their child, they sang songs, told jokes, anything to snap him, her, out of the deathlike stillness.

Yesterday, Mrs. Corsi had to be physically removed from the room by the nurses. While her husband went to pick up some lunch, she shook the child, crying, yelling, "Wake up, honey, time to get up, wake up, baby, please wake up now. We need you to wake up." She ontinued sobbing as the nurses led her away.

An orderly took her downstairs to the counselor. She didn't think she really needed a counselor, but it felt good to have the peace to compose herself. John Sr. heard about it when he got back and met his wife downstairs in the lobby. They embraced and with her head on her husband's shoulder, Mrs. Corsi wept.

They went back to the room after an hour or so. They knelt down by the bed.

Now John Sr. tried to snap his child out of the comma, trying different ploys. "If you wake up," he promised trying to sound light and cheerful, "I'll get you anything you want, everything you want if you open your eyes."

When that didn't work he tried something else, "If you don't get up right now," he said in a sterner voice, "you won't be allowed out of the house till next year." Nothing happened.

Finally, he pleaded, "Please come back to us, we love you, we need you to wake up."

Still nothing happened; exhausted, he lay his head on his child's torso and went to sleep. Sleep seemed an odd thing these days or two entirely different things; for the adults it represented a needed escape, but for the child it remained a prison. Who knew what dreams came to the child, if any, but the dreaming had gone on too long.

Now the whole family slept, the darkness had taken them all into itself.

It finally happened about three a.m. that night, or early morning. In the silent hospital, where not even the sound of hard soles on linoleum could be heard, the child woke up with a gasp.

She found herself, in a foreign place, unsure of what had passed. And she hurt, she hurt all over. In terror, she screamed, a loud scream that pierced through the halls like the needles that went through skin in this place. The noise woke her parents, and at first frightened them, but then brought them a great joy as they realized its source.

Her mother leaped up to her feet and embraced the child in the bed. "Don't worry, baby, mommy's here, it will be o.k. we missed you, oh God, did we miss you, honey."

The child stopped screaming recognizing her mother's voice, but she couldn't respond, words escaped her efforts to use them. She felt and knew the hugs came from both her parents, knew them well and felt comforted even though still frightened and distressed.

Her eyes hurt, they couldn't focus, and a constant feeling of dizziness and pain kept her from concentrating on anything else.

"Mom, I can't see anything, it's all blurry," she complained when she finally found the words.

"They've been closed for a long time, baby. They need to get used to being open again."

"I hurt, mommy, I hurt all over."

"We know, baby, we know."

Her mother explained in the simplest terms about the accident and about the hospital. She explained about the head injury and about the coma. She explained everything, except for the fact that the child was no longer a boy. She couldn't find the words, she didn't know how to phrase it to take an edge off the raw fact. She wanted to and she might have found a way to say it, but before long the medical staff filled the room, running test, checking reflexes. They took a good 40 minutes. With the testing done, she hugged her child once more.

"Mommy, I'm tired."

Fighting the urge not to lose her child to sleep again, she said all she could for the moment. "The rest baby, we will be here when you wake up. Rest well."

The child fell asleep, a different kind of sleep, this time. They knew their child felt uncomfortable, repeatedly stirring to find a position that did not cause more pain. Her parents held each other close, and each rested one hand on the child. Happiness and hope filled them.

"Did you tell her?" John Sr. asked quietly when certain that Emily would not hear.

"I didn't have time. I didn't know what to say."

"Will we ever?"

"How do we do it? I don't know if she is going to like this any?"

"The sooner the better though. Perhaps I should do it."

"Maybe, let's see if an opening presents itself. It's better she hears it from us then from the doctors, or finds out on her own."

"I'm sure something tomorrow will come up."

They went to the nursing station and asked if the hospital had a place where they could sleep. The last couple of nights in chairs had been unbearable. Now that their child had escaped her sleepy jail, perhaps they could rest somewhere more comfortable. The nurse allowed them to stay in one of the empty rooms for the night, telling them that this was a one night stand and actually firmly against the rules. Tomorrow other arrangements would be required. They thanked her and slept well, ennervated by relief and exhaustion.

The next morning they went back to the now familiar room where their child was once again conscious. The hospital gown had been finally wrinkled and the covers were turned down by her belly. She lay quietly but her eyes followed them as they entered.

"Hey baby, good to see you awake," her dad said.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be sorry you did nothing wrong."

"You want me up, and I couldn't get up."

"We know you did your best, baby, your brain needed to get better" Her mom reassured her, patting the bedclothes, careful to choose a spot where she knew the child had not been injured.

"I need to tell dad something, secret."

Her father came near the bed and bent his ear down to her. "What's up sport?"

"I didn't want mom to hear, but my willy hurts."

"Um, we need to have a talk about that actually."

"Why? What's wrong."

John Sr. decided to be honest, if blunt. "It's gone, it couldn't be fixed." He had to say it a second time.

"What do you mean gone?" she shouted suddenly as comprehension and horror filled her eyes with tears.

"The accident -- took it away, and we had to make a decision about it." John felt his rationality of purpose failing.

"What decision?" the child trembled.

"We had to make you a girl." her father whispered now, so low it was inaudible.

"What?" the child asked straining to hear.

"We made you into a girl." Her father replied in a louder tone.

"You did what! How could you!" The child's voice got louder again.

"We didn't have a choice, we had to do what was best for you."

"And you did that!" the child screamed this time.

"We had to."

"How could you! I hate you, I hate you, go away, get away from me. You ruined my life!" Weakly, she flailed small arms at her father's head.

John Sr. wanted to interrupt, wanted to explain, wanted to try to calm the angry child but his wife tapped him on the shoulder. "Let's leave her to herself for now, o.k., don't take it harder, it's hard news, she doesn't know what she is saying, she doesn't mean it, and no matter what you say she won't hear it."

John stepped back and let his wife lean over the child. "Baby," her mom told her in a soft voice, "we know you are upset, we are, too. we are going to go, so you can be sad or mad if you need to. I see you're sad, if you need to cry, let it out, baby, it will be good for you."

"Boys don't cry," the child screamed at her mother with tears in her eyes.

"O.k. baby." Mrs. Corsi kept her voice even and calm. "We will be back in a few hours. We have to make phone calls and let everyone know that you woke up. Everyone has been so worried about you. We still love you, we will always love you."

The child on the bed said nothing, her face pinched with emotion, she simply glared as her parents walked out of the room.

They knew that there wasn't anything left to say at the time, it was something that she would have to deal with on her own. They went to their car and drove home, started making phone calls. The first calls were to the family, telling them only that their child awoke from the coma. Only the closest members of the family knew of the gender change. Talk must be spreading, but the Corsis just figured it would spread on its own and that they would deal with the rest of the family and friends about it at a better time, if ever such a time existed. They then made calls for others to make calls to spread the word that the coma had been broken.

Meantime, Emily, formerly John, though she still did not know her new name, sat in an empty hospital room. She pulled the pillow over her head and sobbed. She rode the roller coaster of her emotions, up and down.

"How can they do this to me, what did I ever do to deserve this. I'm sore all over, I can't move without hurting, my head hurts and they made me a girl, this can't get any badder. This can't be happening, it must be some kind of bad dream. They're just lying, they got to be. They just said it to be mean to me, or maybe to make me not think of the pain. Yeah, that's it, they just wanted me to think of something other then my head. It's like when they say Brussels sprouts are strong pills. That's it, just a joke. Yeah."

The child smiled, assuming it was all just a bad joke. She pulled down the covers and tried to look at the region in question. All that could be seen were bandages, so she could neither confirm nor deny her suspicion. She lay back and tried to watch some cartoons, thinking that would cheer her up. She felt relieved and happy that she had convinced herself that she was somehow still a boy. After a half hour a nurse came by.

"How you doing, Hon?" the nurse asked showing slight concern.

"I'm sore all over and my head and bottom hurts."

"I understand, do you know how to adjust the bed to get more comfy?"

"No, how?"

The nurse showed the child how to operate the bed to make it go up and down. She also showed the child how to use the call button. "Now remember this is to be used only if you are hurting more then usual o.k. dear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Such a polite little thing aren't you? O.K. lets change the bandage down there."

The child blushed a little, but was curious as to what would be seen. She still thought that her parents had lied about the gender change.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby. We've all seen it before around here." The nurse had the child lift the gown a little. She gently removed the bandage, the child look down eagerly, hoping her penis was still around somewhere. The nurse pulled away the gauze, but Emily looked down and didn't see anything familiar. It was red there and she could see stitches. But her penis could not be seen. She looked down a little further, as far down as she could, bending in the middle hurt but she wanted to see. Nothing appeared that was familiar. Tears welled up in her eyes as the nurse cleaned the area.

"I'm sorry it hurts dear, I'm almost done."

"Ahuh, it's okay," Emily replied automatically. She wanted to disbelieve what she had been told and she tried not to think of what hurt where.

The nurse finished cleaning the area, and gently taped the bandages back up, using fresh gauze and the utmost care to not cause any more discomfort than she must. "Is that better, dear?"

Emily didn't respond at first, she just looked down at the area, even though it was covered now, and the hospital gown had been pulled back down over the bandage. "Where is it?" she asked when the nurse turned to move away.

The nurse knew exactly what the child meant. The whole staff at this point knew. "Didn't your parents tell you, dear?" she asked.

"Yes, but I thought maybe they was fibbing."

"Well, they weren't."

"I guess not." Emily choked on a sob.

"Oh, I know baby, cry let it out."

"But, but, boys aren't suppose to cry"

"We know that's not true, boys cry all the time, and honey, you aren't a boy any more, well, not on the outside"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, inside you are still you, and you've got to decide what you are, ultimately it's all up to you. But, it's good to be what makes you happy, and your folks will help you out. They seem like such nice people."

"So, on the inside I can be a boy, and can do boy stuff?" Emily asked.

"Well, I think you will figure it all out, give it time, dear, I have other rooms to visit, but if you ever want to talk, I am more then happy to spend a few minutes with you after work or on a break."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Such a polite child," The nurse said as she left the room.

Emily tried to watch more cartoons, or anything to not think about the one thing that filled her every thought. "What am I?" the age old question asked by philosopher and fools alike. Now being asked by a child, who though in a building full of people, felt very much alone. She tried to read some of the cards that people had left and looked at a few drawings. Some were very funny, but any laughter was brief and unfulfilling and left no joy.

Lying there, alone with her thoughts and her pain, she became angry again and tried to talk her anger out. "Try to make me a girl, I'll get them," she said to herself, not knowing what she might mean by such a promise.

"I'm not going to live as a girl, if they think that they are nuts. I'm gonna live my own life, who cares what I have down there." The thought served as fresh fuel for her anger.

"I hate them for doing this to me, I hate them all. I'm not doing anything like a girl, I'm not going to cry or wear dresses or play with dolls." She didn't swear, she didn't know any words vile enough for how she felt. "I'm not gonna do any of that stuff. I bet they even painted my room pink, when I get home I'll paint it back. No, I'll paint it black, that'll teach them." Her eyes burned. "They want to do this to me, I'll tear apart any girl stuff they get me. I don't care if it's even slightly girly, I'll burn it up." The anger in the little child did not go away as she spat out her thoughts.

She reached down and pushed on her bandages, causing searing pain. "I don't want you, girl part!" she cried. Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she fought them off while causing more pain to herself.

"See all you do is hurt, I hate you." The child struck the bandages, but the pain from that almost made her pass out. She bit her bottom lip to keep from screaming and pulled herself into the fetal position. She wanted to call for the nurse but couldn't find the button. Her eyes were red now from the pain as well as her anger. She couldn't take anymore, she sobbed almost unable to breathe because from the pain and emotion.

Someone found her like that, perhaps an orderly, she heard calls for the nurse, and became aware of people around her but couldn't see or think about anything but the pain. The doctor ordered a drip. She didn't know what that was, but hoped it would help. After a while the pain did subside.

"What happened, honey, what did you do to hurt yourself, or did it start on its own?" the doctor asked.

"I was trying to move my arm and couldn't hold it up and it fell on it," the child lied, trying to avoid getting into trouble.

"Oh, I see, well let's try to not lift our arms over anything important shall we." The doctor grinned and tugged gently on the child's hair.

"Yes, sir." Emily grinned a little, thankful that the pain had stopped and that she didn't get reprimanded for hitting herself. She was unlikely to be in trouble at all, but at her age she couldn't know that for sure.

When they left her alone again, she slept some more and while she slept her parents returned. They placed more gifts and get well mementos around the room. They were eager to get their child back home, but that was still at least a few days away. They also carried with them a bag that contained a pink nightgown and what had been John Jr.s' favorite stuffed animal. They hoped Emily would love it just as much.

Most kids had little teddy bears or something, this, however, was a stuffed pig. It was what she had snuggled with on cold winter nights or when a storm raged outside her windows. They thought that maybe she would associate the nightgown with the familiar comforting pig if they presented them together. They had debated whether they might be rushing it, but both thought the sooner she accepted her situation, the quicker she could learn the things she needed to know.

But for now she slept and her parents sat guard. Sometimes one of them pushed a stray hair away from the sleeping child's face, or picked a bit of lint or paper off the bedclothes.

"Luckily we didn't go for that hair cut last week." Mom said.

"Yes, at least, the hair got a head start."

"You think she's still mad?"

"Maybe, I hope not. It's a hard thing." Dad shook his head.

"I know, can't blame her, though, but I hate her being mad at us"

"It will be O.K, she'll adjust."

"I hope."

About that time the child started to stir. Slowly she opened her eyes.

"Hi mommy, hi daddy." she said softly when she saw them.

"Hi baby," they responded, happy that the last outburst hadn't lingered.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," said Emily.

"It's ok, we understand, it's not easy. We brought you something," her mom said.

"Really, what?"

Dad pulled out the stuffed animal and presented it to her.

"Pinky," she squealed with joy, taking it and hugging it. "Thanks."

"We got something else for you, something new."

"Oh, good, what?"

Mom pulled out the nighty, it wasn't too extravagant, just a simple cotton nighty with the word "princess" across the chest written in dark purple. The length would come down to the knee when worn.

"What's that" the child exclaimed.

"It's a nighty." Mom explained.

"I know what it is, but -- why?"

"Well, we thought, maybe, you might want to wear something pretty."

"Give it to me."

Her mom handed her the nighty. Emily tried to throw it out the window. It didn't even come close and the child winced in pain. Her mom tried to console her. "It's okay, honey," she said, reaching out her arms.

"Get away from me," Emily screamed, flailing again.

"Sorry, baby." Mom said, a little unsure of what to do now.

"Don't call me that, don't call me anything."

"Honey, we are sorry this happened, but sooner or later we will all have to deal with it." Her dad tried to calm her with reasonablness.

"I don't want to deal with it." She turned her face away from them.

"It'll take time."

"No, it won't, I'll never be a girl, never. Go away from me, leave me alone."

"We will honey, for now, you can call if you need us. We'll give you time. We love you, baby," Mom told her gently.

"Yeah, right." Emily said as sarcastically as a nine-year-old could manage.

"It's the truth, and you know that, it's always been the truth. Maybe tomorrow we'll bring a friend."

"O.K." She relented in her anger a little. It hurt to be mad at her parents. "I love you, too, I guess. I just want to be alone for now o.k.?" She didn't turn back to look at them.

"We'll see you in the morning, then, get some rest," her father said.

She nodded into the pillows, the back of her bandaged head still toward them.

Her parents left, she watched their shadows disappear from the wall. She snuggled up with her stuffed animal, holding it as tightly as she could without causing herself any pain.

"Why did this have to happen to me? Huh? God? Why? I'm sorry if I was bad, I won't be bad anymore if you turn me back. Please? I'll do the dishes, I'll clean my room, I'll give all my toys away. Anything, but please turn me back." The child sobbed onto the stuffed pig, thinking what else she could offer to be spared from a life as a girl.

She promised anything she could think of, large or small, she even asked God to take her to heaven now, if she could be a boy again. But, in her heart she knew it wasn't going to happen. This was the way she would be forever, and she hated it. Exhausting anything she could think to promise to God, she drifted off to sleep once more. She turned her head, seeing the nighty, and fell asleep.

The next morning, Emily woke but did not open her eyes yet. She had the strange sensation that someone was watching her. She assumed that it was just her parents, back again. But, she heard a voice that was not that of her parents. It was soft and high pitched. It was a voice that was familiar and warm. It brought a smile to her, at least internally.

She kept her eyes closed for yet a little while longer, not sure she wanted to face people. But, she finally gave in and slowly blinked her eyes open. Right there at the side of the bed she saw somehthing that had always brought happiness. A sweet, cute, long blonde-haired, blue-eyed, button-nosed little girl stared at her and smiled.

"Hi Jessie," Emily said softly, her throat felt dry, and she was unsure really what to say.

"Hi, Emily" said Jessie with a bounce of fun in her voice.

"Who?"

"You, Emily, Hi."

"I'm not Emily, I'm John, you know that."

"Oh, your parents said," she paused mid-sentence as John Sr. whispered into her ear.

"Do I need to know something?" Emily asked her dad.

"Um, well yes, you can't go through life as a girl with the name John, so we had it changed." John Sr. informed her a little afraid of another outburst.

"But, I'm not a," he began but knowing the truth, he didn't bother saying anything more.

"It's something to get adjusted to." He dad acknowledged.

"Can it just be me and Jessie for now?"

"That will be fine." Her mom said and the parents left the room.

"How many people know about Emily?" she asked her little friend when they were alone.

"Just adults and me, I overheard them when they told my parents, they aren't letting kids know, but I know, but I didn't tell anyone, promise, all my heart swear." Jessie answered, hardly taking a breath.

"It stinks."

"Why?" Jessie said as she hopped up onto the bed.

"Cause of things that you don't know."

"Tell me, please."

"You'll laugh."

"No, I won't, I promise, I won't laugh at nothing."

"I guess it don't matter any more anyway."

"Aw, you teaser. Hey, what's that?" Jessie asked while pointing to the nighty that still lay balled up on the floor.

"My parents wanted me to wear it, they want me to be a girl now."

"I don't think they want you to be, like they planned it or nothing. I think it just happened, and I think it's gonna be fun, much funner then being a smelly boy." she laughed. "You should wear the nighty, maybe you'll find out they are comfy, I don't know how boys can wear pants all the time, I mean once in a while is nice, but always boys just wear pants pants pants, even to bed they wear pants." She laughed more and folded the nighty as neatly as she could.

"But, I can't do something I wanted."

"Like what, you tell me now."

"O.k. You didn't know this but I really like you."

"I like you, too, we're friends, we play all the time."

"No, no, not just like that. Like I had feelings for you, like moms and dads have feelings for each other."

"Really, wow, I kind of do for you too. Me and my mom talked about you lots. It's natural she says. You are so cool, why didn't you tell me, we could of dated." She laughed some more and blushed slightly.

"Well, that's over now, I can't be like that with you."

Jessie pouted, "Why?"

"Cause I'm a girl now, and girls can't date and stuff."

"Who says, girls can so date each other, it happens all of the time, my mom does it." Jessie then did something Emily didn't expect. She leaned over and puckered her lips and she planted a kiss right on Emily's lips. It wasn't a mouth watering, liquid swapping, tongue sucking kiss. It was a soft and gentle kiss, it was pure and innocent, but it sent feelings through Emily that she never felt before. It sent those same feelings through Jessie as well. Emily blushed, she turned red, but she put her right arm around Jessie and the two cuddled up on the bed.

"What am I going to do?" Emily asked.

"About what?"

"About me, about you, about being a girl now."

"Well, me and you can be Jessie and Emily, just like we was and how we wanted, except you got a different name, we can play the same stuff still. I can help you being a girl too, and it's a lot of fun. You'll love it, honest. And you know what?"

"No, what?"

"I still like you just the same. Even those feelings I told Mom."

"For real?"

"Yes, honest to goodness." Jessie said and then kissed Emily on the cheek. They both giggled.

"I guess I'm stuck this way, I don't know if I'll like it. Maybe I can just live as a boy with the wrong parts."

"Whatever you pick, I still like you, O.K." Jessie said and then gave Emily a gentle squeeze, even though she was only seven she understood that she did not want to make her friend hurt more.

They lay in the bed together, watching cartoons and enjoying each other's company, much as they had done before the accident. After an hour passed it was time for Jessie to go home. Though Emily was sorry to see her go, she was glad her friend had come for a visit.

"Jessie's mom is downstairs waiting to take her home. Perhaps, now we can spend some time talking about things, calmly." Emily's mom said.

"Okay, I'll try," Emily smiled. Jessie's visit and good humor had had a marked effect on her outlook.

"Good, and so will we try," her father said.

"So what are we going to do?"

"Well, we know that you don't really want to be a girl, and if we could take back the accident and not allow all this to happen, we would, you know we would. But we can't do that."

"I know, I'm not mad at you, just at stuff, I don't mean to take it out on you, honest, I love you."

"Oh, we love you too, honey," her dad said.

"And we want you to be happy," her mother continued.

"So, do I have to be a girl?"

"Well, outwardly yes, but we would like you to give being a girl a real try, maybe we can come to an arrangement."

"What kind of an arrangement?"

"Give it a year, try your hardest to be like a girl and if after a year you don't want to -- well, after a year we'll figure out something else."

"A whole year?"

"Just one little year, it won't be that long."

"Can I still play baseball?"

"Sure, girls play baseball, this year is over, though because you're hurt, well every where but next year you can sign up just like this year."

"What do I have to do as a girl then?"

"Just dress and get used to the idea, Jessie said she would help, and so will I," Mom told her.

"So I guess it's Emily now, huh?"

"Yes, that was the name we picked out while you were in here." Mom said as she patted her stomach. In all the distress and upset, everyone had almost forgot about the new baby. Emily would have a little brother before the year she had agreed on was over.

She sighed. "I guess I can go the year, can you help me with that thing," Emily said as she pointed to the nighty.

Her mom gently removed the hospital gown, and slowly lowered the nighty down onto her new daughter, being careful not to pull too hard or cause any unnecessary discomfort. She also put a small ribbon in her daughter's hair, it was a small butterfly, but it took some attention away from the bandages on the head.

Emily looked down and read the shirt, upside down. "Princess, huh, is that me now?"

Her parents laughed, "If you want."

"Sure, why not? I got to get use to it I guess."

They all embraced gently and Emily got a kiss from each of her parents.

---

Wow, what a whirlwind, huh. Is it long? yes. Is it good? you tell me. There is more to come, definitely. There is one more chapter taking place in the hospital, and probably transition back to going home. I have plans, oh definitely. But I am like Bill Watterson {Calvin and Hobbes}, I'm letting the story write itself, so what I have in mind now might not happen. Enjoy, and please leave a comment, I love to read them.

by Little Katie

Part 3
Not as Bad as She Thought

---

Well, here is part 3. Still in the hospital. This should be the last installment taking place completely at the hospital. I was hoping to have her home by now, but things got longer than I thought. Enjoy.

---

Emily lay on the hospital bed in the room by herself, a few days after waking from her coma. Visiting hours had ended and though her parents could have stayed, they returned home, trying to get life back into order. It would still be a few days before she would be allowed to go home.

The bandages had been removed from her head and groin, but she still felt afraid to look. A nurse came every few hours to put some ointment on her wounds. She didn't feel as sore as she had been the last few days, but still, some pain lingered. She sipped on a can of apple juice and tried not to think about things, but sometimes that was just not possible.

"This is so unfair, why do I got to be a girl now, for a whole year, too. It’s the worst punishment ever," she told herself.

She tried again to think of something else. "Why didn’t Jessie tell me she liked me before all this happened, maybe if she did I wouldn’t of wanted to play baseball, I would of stayed with her." That wasn't so good either but it suggested something else to her.

"I can’t believe she kissed me." Emily thought as she closed her eyes and relived the moment. Seeing Jessie’s face get big and move in closer, feeling her soft lips lightly touch her own, tasting a hint of raspberry, hearing a gently smacking sound as the kiss ended.

Feelings welled up inside of Emily, feelings she couldn’t yet explain or even put a name to. A warmth grew in her stomach, and goose bumps lined her arms. She sighed and smiled, just remembering being with the girl she may have been in love with her whole life.

"Thinking of something nice, sweetie?" asked nurse Rose, the same nurse that had had a little talk with her a few days ago.

Emily blushed, "No, well, maybe." The child’s face went beet red at this point and the nurse sat down next to her.

"It must be a boy then," the nurse grinned, teasing her. "Thinking of someone cute?"

"No!" Emily protested, "That’s just gross!"

The nurse laughed, "You’re young yet, boys get better, trust me, honey."

"I won’t ever like a boy like that, never, ever."

"Oh, a girl then, don’t worry, sweetie, some girls are like that." The nurse smiled, reassuringly.

Emily blushed again, feeling that nurse Rose could read her like a book.

"Well, I bet she is a very lovely girl, just like you," Rose went on.

"But, I’m a..." Emily stopped mid sentence, "Oh, yeah, like me, I keep forgetting."

The nurse smiled again, and fussed with Emily's hair, "You know what?"

"What?"

"You’re going to be some looker, once that scar heals, all the boys and girls are going to be jealous of you."

Emily blushed again, she hadn’t really thought of that. Maybe she could be more popular or get to go to the cool parties. All the girls got invited to them.

"Okay, speaking of scars, let's fix you up." The nurse put a drop of ointment on her fingers and gently massaged it into Emily’s forehead. Emily winced in pain but held in tears the best she could. "Don’t worry sweetie, this will make it heal better and tomorrow these stitches come out anyway. Now, let's take care of the others." Nurse Rose pulled down the covers and neatly folded them and placed them on a chair. "Okay, Princess, lift the nighty up." She giggled, reading the nickname on the nighty that Emily had worn almost everyday since she woke up from her coma.

Emily turned her head and lifted up her nightgown. She didn’t want to look down there and see. The nurse gently massaged the ointment in, taking special care here where things were even more tender. Emily cried, she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to, but tears streamed down her delicate face. It wasn’t so much the pain that she cried about; she cried for the part of her now missing.

"Sweetie, I’m done."

Emily kept crying, even though the pain had mostly stopped. Nurse Rose sat on the bed and held her. Emily put her head on the nurse’s chest and cried. The nurse gently rocked the child, "It's going to okay, honey," she told the little girl.

"No, it won’t be okay, I hate that."

"Hate what, sweetie?" Rose asked, not sure if Emily meant the comment or something else.

"What’s between my legs now."

"How can you hate it, you didn’t even see it? It's quite remarkable, you know."

"I don’t want to see it. Anyway I saw it the other day and I never want to see it again."

"It doesn’t bite you know." Rose said while making a snarly face and pretending to bite at air.

"Don’t make me laugh, I know you are trying."

"You know what I think, I think you are afraid to see it, I think you know you will see it and like it and that scares you."

"No way, boys aren’t scared of anything."

"Then why don’t you just look, if you are so brave?"

"Okay, I will then."

Emily pulled away from the nurse's embrace and sat up in the hospital bed, her nighty already up to her waist from getting the ointment, her child's legs bare and her groin exposed. She closed her eyes for a second, and realized that she could feel the cool air blowing on her new skin. It sent a sensation through her body just thinking about it. She slowly opened her eyes and bent forward.

She pulled the nighty up further and looked at her new anatomy. A few stitches remained of the area that had once been her willy. She looked further down where she could see a small slit. It was pink all around the middle and it didn’t open as much as she had imagined. She had actually never seen what a girl looked like and the misconceptions of youth didn’t prepare her for reality.

"Is that all it is?" Emily asked.

Nurse Rose laughed, "Yes, what were you expecting?"

"Where’s the hole?"

"What hole?"

"For the willy to go into, isn’t there suppose to be a hole, I thought it was all it was, was just a hole."

The nurse smiled. "Silly girl, it's there, it's just not on the surface, it's behind those folds. But you're right about how a boy and girl make a baby." Still smiling she touched the young girl's face, "Now, was looking at yourself down there so bad?"

"No, I guess not," Emily admitted. "It still looks weird."

"That’s because it's still healing and you aren’t use to seeing it. Do you think a boy's 'willy' doesn’t look weird to a girl?"

Emily blinked at the nurse. "I never thought about what a girl would think."

"Well, now you will, won’t you?"

"I guess, I don’t have a choice."

"You do, but I think you already made it."

"What do you mean?"

"Um, look down." Nurse Rose giggled.

Emily looked down, she noticed that she had been -- petting -- her new anatomy, and hadn’t even realized it. Nothing vulgar, just her three fingers barely grazed over the slit, the light touch felt rather good. Emily blushed and pulled her nighty back down. "I’m so sorry,"

"Sweetie, don’t worry, we all do that at least once in a while. Get your rest and try to keep your hands where we can see them." Nurse Rose laughed as she placed a clean blanket on top of Emily.

Emily placed her hands on top of the blanket and at her sides, blushing even more then before. As the nurse went to leave the room, Emily stopped her. "Ma’am."

"Yes, sweetie."

"Thank you."

"Such a polite little girl."

"I'll try to be." Not only did it shock Emily to hear herself say that, it shocked her even more to realize she sincerely meant it.

The nurse closed the door and the room grew quiet again. Emily put her hand back under the blanket. She slowly felt the new skin, touching the area but not pressing down, that might have hurt. It felt strange and exciting to be touching her new self in this way.

After a few seconds she stopped. "I guess this is me now, a little girl. Maybe it won’t be bad." She shook her head, trying to dislodge that thought.

"What am I saying? Am I nuts? I don’t know anymore. It's so different then what my friends said it looked like, bunch of fibbers. I just got a year, then I pick. I wonder how Jessie got use to being a girl."

Emily turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. She pictured the kiss she had shared with her friend, again and again. "We should of opened our mouths and did a grown up kiss," she blushed as she pictured the idea. Slowly and gently she drifted off to sleep, smiling.

In the morning, Emily awoke to find her mom fussing with her hair. "Did I wake you, Princess?" her mom whispered.

"No, I was getting up anyways." It bothered her just a little that she didnt blush at the nickname this time.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" her mom asked.

"I’m bored, I want to go home." Emily tried not to pout or whine.

"Soon, baby, soon."

"Why do I got to stay here, it's so boring."

"Well, today the stitches come out and they want to keep you overnight for observation, then tomorrow you can come home, okay?"

"Another day?"

"Yes, just one more day, then you can come home and live your life again."

"Cool." Emily smiled at the thought of getting out of the hospital and being back to her own room and her toys.

"I bought something special for when you leave tomorrow also, I hope you don’t mind."

"What did you get me, oh boy?" Emily still loved to get little gifts from her parents, just as most children her age.

Her mom went to the closet and pulled out a white dress that had a pink border around the waist to separate the top from the skirt.

"What in the world is that?" Emily asked a little afraid she knew the answer.

"I thought you would like to look pretty for when you left here."

The little girl shook her head firmly. "I’m not wearing that."

"Honey, you said you would give it a year."

"But, I didn’t say I’d wear stuff like that."

"It’s what girls wear, don’t you want to look pretty?"

"No, can’t I wear jeans, or pants?" The pout and the whine threatened to come back.

"Baby, you can’t wear anything coarse like jeans, you still need some healing down there."

"So, I don't have no choice, again," Emily said, a bit sarcastially to cover her pain and embarrassment.

"You mind your tone, young lady," her mother warned. Emily's parents doted on their child but backtalk would be tolerated only in extremities such as that first night after Emily woke up.

"Sorry, Mommy." Emily sheepishly replied as she realized that she had, in fact, been out of line.

"We understand this is tough, it's tough on us all. Your dad and I want you to be happy, haven’t we always?"

"Yes, but..."

"But, nothing," her mom interrupted, a little exasperated. "We know it's hard to let go of the past, but believe me, what we are asking you to do is for the best, okay?"

"But, people will see me!" Emily wanted her mom to understand.

"What’s wrong with that? People will see a pretty girl in a pretty dress."

"But, my friends will make fun of me." Now that objection she knew would never work.

"Then they wouldn’t be such great friends after all, now would they?"

Emily sighed. She could have expected that answer. "No," she admitted.

"And, you are going to have to tell them sooner or later."

"You didn’t tell them?"

"No, we thought it would be best for you to do that."

"How?"

"Well, I would try telling the truth, they will understand."

"I hope."

"Me too, baby." Emily’s mom went over to the bed and hugged her.

They laid the dress on top of her, the skirt seemed long enough that it would go to the knees. Emily touched the fabric. It was very soft and silky. It was light too, she could not remember ever wearing something that felt so delicate. Emily ran her hand through the skirt and started crying.

"What’s wrong, baby."

"I don’t know if I can do this." She shook her head and tears ran down her cheeks.

"Do what baby?"

"Get used to all this, being a girl stuff."

"We will help you." Her mother used a tissue to wipe Emily's eyes.

"But, everything is so different."

"Not everything."

"The clothes are, my body is, the way I’m going to have to act is. What’s not different?"

"Let's see," said her mother, putting an arm around her. "The fact that dad and I still love you, the person you are under all that skin, that sweet, honest, wonderful person I gave birth to. Those are all the same, all the things that made you an awesome son, are going to make you an awesome daughter."

"But, I’m scared."

"We know, and we are going to be there for you, every step of the way."

"Oh, Mom." Emily through her arms around her mothers neck and sobbed on her shoulder. Her mom gently rubbed her back and tried to be reassuring as possible. They had to cuddle each other around the pregnant woman's bulging middle.

They stayed that way awhile, just holding each other and reassuring and being reassured. Finally a nurse entered the room, pushing a wheelchair. "Time to get those stitches out," she announced cheefully.

They placed Emily in the wheelchair and rolled her down the hall, her mom walking one step behind. They came to a surgical room and wheeled Emily inside.

The doctor informed Emily's mother that she would have to wait outside. Though mother and child both objected, the doctor said it would be for the best.

The actual removing of the stitches took only a short while, maybe ten minutes at most. They began with the stitches in her forehead. The bright light scared Emily because it blinded her, it had to be pointed so the doctor and the nurse could see everything and this meant that it shone right in Emily's face. With her eyes closed, she could only feel the doctor cut and remove the stitches. She stayed as still as possible, even though every instinct told her to flinch, or even jump off the table and run away.

"Now, lift your gown and lay back." the doctor told Emily in a demanding tone.

Emily followed doctor's orders. She lay back on the table, and the paper they had put down crinkled under her body. The doctor spread her legs and put her feet on two little rests Emily had not noticed before. She got very self conscious, this would be the first time a guy had seen her as a girl, at least while she was conscious of it.

It made her very uncomfortable, not at all like last night with the nurse, where it had almost seemd like a game. The doctor acted much more cold and matter of fact. She watched as he removed the stitches though she could not see as well as last night, her position made things convenient to the doctor not her. His big, but somehow delicate hands were just above her new anatomy she knew. Her legs began to tremble as the doctor removed the last of the stitches. Her lips quivered in fear, this was something she would be glad to have over.

"All done, sweetheart," the doctor told her finally. "Just lay back and relax a little bit and I'll get your mom in here, all right?"

"Yes, sir." Emily said in a shaky voice. She lay there with her feet still in the rests on the side of the table. The nurse patted her leg a little reassuringly.

Her mom came in and saw her baby tremblin on the table.

"It’s a little traumatizing for some children." The doctor explained.

"She’s strong, she’ll get over it quick," her mom said as she moved quickly to Emily's side.

"Anyway, I wanted you to see my work, before we bandage the area for a little while." The doctor moved closer also.

Emily didn't like being on display one bit, even if it was for her mother. She was instructed to keep her legs spread wide while the doctor pointed out the structures to her mom, explaining what he had done during the surgery. He used a lot of big words that Emily didn’t understand. Finally, he pulled the new anatomy apart to show how things looked inside. Emily felt so embarrassed, she started to cry.

"I see," Emily’s mom said as the doctor went on explaining. She felt a little stunned herself, "I think we should stop now, Emily is very scared and I’m sure you can tell me the rest without the visuals."

"Ah, yes. Usually, when a procedure of this nature occurs, the patient is much older and curious about the feelings down there. Forgive me," the doctor sounded as if he realized he had been callous and maybe even cruel. "I forgot the nature of this particular operation for a moment. I’m so used to dealing with more mature patients."

"That’s okay" Her mom wanted to say more, much more, but decided to accept the doctor's explanation as an apology. The doctor left and the nurse got ready to transport Emily back to her room but left the child and her mother alone for some time to recover their dignity.

"Are you okay Baby?"

"I guess," Emily cried a little, still hurting from the embarrassment.

"I know that wasn’t very pleasant, but you were very brave and I am proud of you."

"Is everyone going to touch that like that?"

"No ,baby, when it's time, A long time from now," her mother emphasized, "it will be something that you will do with a boy and it will be gentle and feel wonderful, trust me."

"The doctor touching that didn’t feel good at all."

"Well, doctors have a way of doing that," her mother admitted. "But you can’t keep calling it ‘that’"

"What do I call it, the only word I know you will wash my mouth out with soap." Emily complained.

Her mother laughed, "Well, we can call it a couple of things, what do you prefer? We can call it a cunny, or call it your honey or cookie or peach?"

"Cookie? Honey? Peach? What is it, something to eat?" Emily tried to make a joke.

It must have been funny, Emily’s mom almost hit the floor laughing so hard. "You’ll find that out when you are older. Maybe for now we should stick to cunny. Is that okay?" she finally managed to ask.

Emily had laughed too, though, she wasn't exactly sure why. "Okay, Mom," she said as she adjusted her nightgown again, still wanting to be sure things were completely covered up.

The nurse came back and they wheeled Emily back to her room. She was able to get in bed by herself now, and sat up talking to her mom.

"I got to go soon," her mother said finally, "but I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, is it something bad?" Emily asked.

"No, it doesn’t have to be."

"Just ask," Emily huffed, trying not to worry.

"Well, your dad and I wanted to redo your room before you got home."

"Um, how bad is it going to be?"

"Honey, not bad at all, just something special for our little girl."

"But Mom, can you -- I mean you're about to bust." Emily felt a little put out that her mother seemed to be looking forward to doing this so much.

"Oh, I’ll be fine."

"I don’t know."

"Oh, please honey, we got all the supplies already, and your dad is looking forward to it. Just for the year, part of the deal, if you don’t like it after a year, we will let you decorate it next."

"Um, well maybe."

"Come on, be a sport, we’ll get you a stereo for yourself, too."

"Really," Emily considered. "I’ve been asking for years for a stereo, will you get the one from Sears with all the lights?"

"You got it, sweetie."

"Okay, I guess you can" Emily beamed, more excited than what she let her words reveal. They were probably going to do this anyway but at least she would get the stereo she wanted out of it.

"Well, we better get started, by the way you may get a visitor later." Her mom said as she winked.

"Can’t wait." Emily kissed her mom and watched her leave.

Emily watched the early morning soaps. Not really paying attention to the plot, but not finding anything else on she felt stuck watching.

"I hope Jessie gets here soon," she thought "it’s so boring here. Maybe she’ll kiss me again. Maybe something more." Emily laughed and dozed off.

It was around four o’clock when Emily’s mom came back.

"Hey, sweetie, I got you a happy meal. Figured you might be tired of the hospital food." Her mom said presenting the small bag.

"Oh boy, I’m starved." Lunch in the hospital had been uninspired and Emily hadn't eaten much. She neatly took the hamburger and small fries out. She took the small toy out too, it was a miniature doll with lots of hair and a small comb.

"Mom!" she exclaimed and then laughed, "I love it." She shook her head still smiling a little ruefully and placed the doll on the side of the bed.

"I saw a little friend heading over here, so I’m going to let you two be alone."

Her mom left and called over to someone that it was okay to visit. But in through the door didn’t come Jessie. Emily was a little disappointed, but tried not to show it. Instead Sean came in. Sean from her little league team was a large boy, and not very popular with the other kids on the team. It wasn’t that he wasn’t nice, it's just that his size made him the target of a lot of jokes, and he didn’t handle that well. He came and sat down next to the bed.

"How you doing, John, looks like you got messed up good." Sean said trying to make a half joke out of it.

Emily hadn’t been called by her former name since waking from the coma, it almost seemed odd to hear it again. "I’m okay," she said. "I’m not as sore as I was, I might go home tomorrow."

"Yeah, they try to keep you here forever, I think they put something in the food to make you stay longer." Sean laughed.

"Yeah, it’s pretty bad."

"We missed you playing baseball, no one drops a fly ball just like you."

Emily laughed. "We can’t all play first base and not move," she joked back.

"I hear you won’t play the last game next week, will you at least come and dress out?"

"I don’t know, I guess." Emily hadn't thought about it till then.

"Come on, you got to, it will be fun, we can make jokes about the other team, it sucks to do it on your own."

"I’ll try, it’s up to my parents."

"Hey, I just noticed something."

"What?"

"Your shirt says ‘princess’, did you know it said that?"

"Yeah, I saw it yesterday, it’s because..."

"Don’t tell me," Sean interrupted, "you're not one of them," Sean made an over exaggerated motion of bending his hand and fluttering his eyes.

"No!" Emily exclaimed, "it's because..."

"You don’t have to explain, hospitals do screwy stuff all the time, I think it's because they like to mess with you. When I got my tonsils out they put me in a gown so big, it looked like you could fit in three more of me."

"Yeah, I remember you telling me," Emily laughed.

"Don’t worry I won’t tell any of the guys, they probably wouldn’t quit."

"What is everyone saying about all this?"

"Nothing, just that it's messed up, and you're in the hospital with stitches in your melon."

"Nothing else?"

"No, why, is there something else?"

"No, you know how lies get started, I was just making sure. Hey, where are all the others anyway, you’re the only one to visit."

"You know them, to busy with their own stuff to care about anyone else."

"Why did you come? Did your parents make you? It’s not like we been real close friends."

"Well, we can be friends, can’t we?"

"Yeah, sure, Why not?" Emily smiled.

Sean smiled back. "Awesome, that’s why I came, no one had to make me. It was just right to come, I guess."

"Cool, I’m glad you did. I don’t know if to many guys are going to stay my friend."

"Why?"

"I can’t tell you right now."

"Okay, well just don’t go wearing that shirt, princess." Sean laughed. Emily just smirked, trying to go along with the joke that had become her reality.

"Yeah." Emily said.

The two watched some of the early afternoon cartoons. Making jokes about the commercials. Emily felt a little uncomfortable though, knowing that there was a huge secret inside her, but too afraid to let it out. She didn’t want to be made fun of, and could not think of how to bring the subject up.

After an hour of cartoons Sean had to head back home and Emily’s mom came back to the room.

"Mom?" Emily said in almost a whisper.

"Yes, dear?"

"You didn’t tell people I was a girl did you?"

"We did to the people that count."

"But, what about my friends?"

"Well, that’s something you have to do, don’t you think"

"I guess."

"They are your friends and didn’t we have this conversation last night?"

"I know, but what if they make fun of me?"

"Didn’t we agree that if they did then, they aren’t very good friends?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, did you enjoy your meal and your visit?"

"I guess."

"You are certainly doing a lot of guessing lately, aren’t you?" But mom smiled to show she didn't mean that to be scolding. "Don’t worry about what your friends think, just be happy with yourself."

"I’ll try, but I don’t know."

"I know baby, I know. I got good news though."

"Really, what?"

"Tomorrow afternoon you can come home, Jessie is going to come with me and we are going to dress you up and go home, isn’t that great?"

"Yeah," Emily decided. "I can’t wait."

---

Like I said, I try to make the length somewhat bearable and find good stopping points. Sort of like a to be continued. Tomorrow she is finally out of gowns and nighties (not like that, dirty person you). One person questioned if her parents were pushing this on her, I will answer that shortly, but remember, this wasn’t something planned and everyone is trying the best they can, including me. Feel free to leave messages, it inspires me, and it makes me question myself and think about what is going on.

by Little Katie

Part 4
Overwhelmed

Weehee, are we having fun yet or what? Oh, the world awaits young Emily, but at least she's out of the hospital. Poor little thing was getting bored. Leave comments please.

---

At dawn, the air in the hospital room felt crisp and cool. Emily looked out the open hospital window and watched the pink sky turn blue.

"How funny that is, the sky is going pink to blue and I'm going blue to pink," she thought, musing on the irony of the situation. A tear welled up in her eye. "I'm going out there today, and I don't know anything anymore. Are people going to make fun of me? I feel so scared."

Her lower lip trembled as a million thoughts flooded her brain and she couldn't make sense of any of them. The only constant sensation had become one of fear and uncertainty. "Why couldn't I have died?" she cried and pulled the blanket over her head. Under the cover, she pulled her plush animal close to her chest and wept uncontrollably.

Emily stayed there for quite some time, but slowly ther tears stopped. She lay still under the covers and listened to the silence. It felt very peaceful actually. She heard nothing except the hum of the air conditioning unit. Enjoying the peaceful moment, she stayed hidden from the world the only way she knew how.

Slowly she became aware of other sounds. She listened to herself breath, slow, deep rhythmic breaths. She folded her arms around her chest, keeping her plush animal close to her body. She began to hear her heart beat, slow and steady.

She felt her blood pulsing elsewhere, she hadn't been quite ready for that sensation. She placed the toy gently to her side, making sure she didn't disturb her blanket fortress. Her hands slowly lifted her nighty to her waist. She lay still for a second, listening to make sure no one else was around.

Finally certain it must be safe, she gently placed her hand on her vagina. Without any movement, she rested her small hand on her new anatomy and waited to see what happened. It throbbed slightly underneath her hand, like feeling a pulse but in an area completely foreign to her. She felt very self-aware of what she was doing, and she pictured her position in her mind's eye. For some reason, this caused her some excitement and a new feeling welled up in her belly once more.

The new area got warmer and the pulse seemed stronger. Emily felt she could almost enjoy this feeling, and she had the urge to explore more, to experiment with this newfound sensation. But, an overwhelming feeling of shame came over her. She didn't know why, but she quickly removed her hand and pulled down her nighty. She took a deep breath and emerged from her place of solitude.

She looked around the room, imagining that perhaps someone was watching, but not a soul was present.

She looked at some of the cards and balloons that decorated her room. All had the same sentiment, Get Well Soon. She was glad to see them, even if the notes were redundant. She looked at the balloon that was made to look like an oversized baseball. It had a big construction paper card attached and everyone drew pictures and signed it.

"Well, at least they made me a card, if not visited" Emily thought. "Still it would have been nice to see some more people. Too busy with their own things, making fun of girls and playing in the dirt was more important then spending just two minutes with me. Some friends, I wonder what they are going to do when they find out about me? Probably make fun of me like all the other girls. Maybe they'll understand and not treat me different. Doubtful."

Emily was amazed that she was starting to see herself as a girl. True the outside was that of a girl, but the inside, on the inside a war was raging. In one moment she was content with what she was, willing to face the fate that life brought her and in the next she loathed her existence and thought that even death would be a more preferable end then to live as a fraud.

The war inside had consumed her emotionally, but the body on the outside felt worn out physically. Between the pain and rebuilding, the emotional uncertainty and the overwhelming boredom, Emily drifted asleep.

Sleep was a better place of solitude for Emily, inside her dreams she could wage war with herself in peace. The two beings occupying the same body, could reason their case. The body of John would plead to remain a boy, drawing upon a lifetime of experiences. The body of Emily would plead about the new adventures that they would have, and drew upon the facts of the present. It didn't really matter what was said, the arguments always wound up in a draw and anything gained was inconsequential.

But, as the days passed, Emily was at least getting used to her new body, even comfortable in the fact of who and what she was, but that was only when she was by herself. Half-sleeping in the cool hospital room, her hand once again wandered under her nighty. She gently rubbed the new skin; the sensation of warmth filled her face and torso. Slowly she let go of her surroundings and it was just her.

She pictured herself in a grassy field, the warm sun hitting her bare flesh. She felt free here, at ease with being a girl. In reality, she still gently rubbed the outer skin, yet in her dream she was running and jumping and laughing. The two really didn't add up, at least not to Emily when she was aware of both her dream and reality. She opened her eyes, and the sun was higher in the sky. A feeling of shame came to her, not at strong as the other times, but she still felt like she was doing something wrong. Once again she adjusted the nighty and placed her hands on the outside of the covers, where they could do no harm.

Emily turned on the television and watched some of the early morning cartoons. This too was another escape, an escape from thinking about what she was and an escape from the boredom. The door slowly opened and nurse Rose came in, smiling as usual. "How's my favorite girl?" she cheerfully asked.

"I'm doing o.k. I guess." Emily gave a half smile.

"Worried about facing the world, huh?"

Emily just nodded and gave a small pout. She turned off the T.V to give the nurse her undivided attention.

"Well, I don't think you will have anything to worry about." Rose said as she pulled a chair to the side of the bed. "In fact, I think a girl as sweet and polite as you are will go far in the world."

"I don't know, I just think people will hate me or something."

"Oh no, no one hates sweet, polite, pretty girls." Rose said as she placed ointment gently on the child's forehead.

"I'm not pretty."

"I disagree, and when you get confidence in who you are, you will agree."

"Will I ever have confidence?"

"Baby, you are going to do just fine."

"You say that like you know it's a fact."

"It is a fact, that's why."

"How do you know?" Emily leaned forward, as if a big secret was going to be revealed.

"Because, you adapt quick, if I said you were my favorite girl a week or so ago, you would of bit my head off or cried."

"Oh," Emily said, remembering some of her previous outbursts. "Sorry" she added meekly.

"Nothing to be sorry about, it's a big change. Anyway I see you getting more and more comfortable with yourself."

"How's that?" Emily was afraid maybe some of her earlier exploration did get discovered after all.

"By your smile, by the way you don't always look away when people look at you, like you did the first few days. You had some of us worried. You're a sweet girl, and that makes people care about you."

Emily blushed and turned away in embarrassment. It was true that she was getting more comfortable with being a girl, around those that knew. Still her greatest concern was those that didn't know yet. The nurse pulled down the covers, the gentle breeze brought Emily back to reality.

"O.K we got to do this too, up with that nighty."

Emily raised her butt off the hospital bed and lifted up the nighty. Revealing her vagina to the nurse had never been an issue, she never knew why either.

"You getting use to having one yet?" The nurse asked while attending to her duties.

"I don't really know, I haven't even gotten from bed to go potty."

"That's something you will learn quick, here we made sure not to give you to much liquids to avoid trauma."

"Huh?" Emily didn't understand what was said.

"We didn't want you to go wee so you wouldn't bust." The nurse laughed as she finished up. Emily noticed the lack of sensation down there, from when the nurse touched her. It wasn't like when she touched herself before and it definitely wasn't like when the doctor had touched her in front of her mother.

"But soon you will learn how to go like a girl, it's not that hard, you sit down and nature does the rest," The nurse said as Emily came back from her thoughts.

"I guess, I haven't really thought of it."

"Well, I am done here, if you want to pull your nighty down you can." Nurse Rose said while realizing it had taken Emily longer then usual to recover herself.

"Oh, yeah I forgot." Emily laughed and adjusted herself. "I can't wait to get out of this nighty."

"I'm sure the boys will be thinking the same thing soon," Rose joked.

"Huh, Oh yeah," Emily said as she finally caught onto the joke. "I meant because I been wearing it so long, it feels like it's dirty."

"I understand, my little princess patient is going home, finally." Rose made an exaggerated voice, in a teasing tone.

"Finally is right," Emily smiled, wanting to leave the hospital.

"Well, soon, your mom and little sister were filling out some paperwork."

"That's not my sister, that's my," Emily really wanted to say girl friend, but paused. "That's my friend Jessie."

"Oh, I see," Rose gave a little wink. "Any way, you have been a very special patient and I got you a little something."

"Aw, you didn't have to."

"I know, but I did anyway." Nurse rose reached went outside to her nursing cart and brought back a neatly wrapped package. It was white paper, with the words you're special written in pink all over. The pink ribbon was tied very carefully and was in the exact center of its panel.

"This is great, really." Emily said and she carefully undid the bow, taking special care not to tear into it. She never opened a package in this manner before, but she really wanted to save it, because getting the gift alone made her feel special. She finally got to the box inside the wrapping, opening it up revealed a small silver tiara and a few butterfly hair clips.

"I love them," Emily exclaimed, "thank you, oh, so very much."

"I'll miss you, such a polite little girl is hard to find." Nurse rose bent down and kissed Emily on her forehead. Emily smiled back and mouthed thank you. Nurse Rose walked out the room, turned back just before leaving, "You be real good to yourself, and know who you are on the inside and you will do just fine." She left the room, closing the door gently.

Out of all things that happened, good or bad, Emily new that she would miss nurse Rose. If it wasn't for the joy of finally going home, she may have even cried at leaving a new friend.

After watching some more morning cartoons, Mom finally entered the room, carrying with her a small duffel bag and Jessie entering one step behind.

"Guess what, kiddo, you're going home." Mom said enthusiastically.

"Yippee," Jessie said while throwing some confetti over Emily.

"You said it, I can't wait. Look at what nurse Rose got me." Emily showed her mother and Jessie the tiara and the hair clips.

"Wonderful, you can wear the hair clips today, I think the tiara can wait for a special occasion."

"Okay, Mommy," Emily smiled.

"Well, let's get you ready, we are going to go out to eat on this special occasion and you need to look your best."

"Isn't Dad here?" Emily asked, worried that he might not of shown.

"Of course, silly, he is waiting in the lobby finishing some paper work and giving us time to get you dressed."

Emily was relieved, it had crossed her mind that she and her father might grow apart, now that she wasn't his little man.

"O.K. let's do that hair first." Mom pulled out a brush from the bag and a pair of scissors. She brushed the shoulder length hair backwards, being very cautious of the scar. She grabbed the back of the hair gently, and but a hair tie around it, forming a small ponytail. "This way we can keep the hair up off your back and it wont be so hot." Her mother explained. She then brushed some of the hair in the front forward, Emily could see some of the hair right in front of her eyes. Her mother took the scissors and made the length even and just above the child's eyebrows. Emily never had bangs before, or worn her hair in a manner even close to this. It felt a little uncomfortable feeling the hair touch her forehead. "How's that?" Mom asked.

"Beautiful." Jessie chimed in, "Don't forget these." She added while handing Emily's mother the hair clips.

"Oh, can't forget these," She placed one on each side of Emily's head.

Emily was a little nervous, she just submissively sat there as her hair was done. Her mom reached in and pulled out a small hand mirror, some powder and lip gloss.

"Okay. Let's get your face done."

Emily looked at the lip-gloss. "No way, I'm not wearing lipstick."

"Come on, try it."

"No, I'm not wearing any makeup."

Her mom frowned a little bit, but decided that this wasn't a fight worth having at the moment. Besides she didn't want her daughter wearing makeup until she was a teen anyway, except on special occasions.

"Oh, o.k. you don't have to. Here take a look and tell me what you think." Mom hid her disappointment about the makeup and handed Emily the hand mirror.

Emily was afraid what she would see. She figured she'd look like a boy in a girl's hairdo. She raised the mirror in front of her face, but closed her eyes.

"I did my best to hide the scar." Her mom said trying to be reassuring.

Slowly Emily opened her eyes and looked in the mirror. Her mouth opened slightly. Her mom didn't know if it was in amazement or in terror.

"What's wrong baby?" Her mother asked.

"That's, that's, it's a girl in there."

Her mom laughed, "What did you expect?"

"A boy pretending."

"Nope, that's you, our little girl."

"You're absolutely gorgeous, darling" Jessie quipped.

Emily and her mother laughed. "I guess" Emily said, still in a state of half shock.

"Ok, Mrs. I Guess, lets get out of that bed and out of that nighty and get dressed. Chop, chop."

Emily put her feet of the sides of the bed. She hadn't been standing too much over the last week or so. She cautiously placed her bare foot on the cold tile floor. Gently she stood up, her legs still a little sore. With unsure footing she stood up completely, afraid that her legs would give out from under her.

"You okay?" Jessie asked, going over to Emily. Emily placed her hand on Jessie's shoulder.

"I'll be okay, just sore."

"Okay, kiddo, off with the nighty." Her mom teasingly commanded.

"But mom, what about Jessie?"

"What about her?"

"She'll see my... um?"

"She's got one herself you know?"

"Oh, but, she hasn't seen, well" Emily fumbled for an excuse.

"I won't laugh or nothing, I promise." Jessie said, trying to put Emily at ease.

"Sure, why not, I've been wanting you to see me" Emily stopped mid-sentence.

"Young lady," her mom scolded, "Don't think I didn't know what you were about to say, we'll have none of that, understand?"

"Sorry, Mommy." Emily blushed. She pulled up her nighty, partly to take it off and partly to hide her red face. She finally took it all off and handed it to her mother. Her mother took extra care to fold it neatly. Emily thought she took too long seeing the predicament she was in. Standing in front of Jessie naked may at one point have been a fantasy, now she felt inadequate. Especially with the feelings she had revealed to Jessie, just a few short days ago.

"Lets get you cleaned... I heard you didn't get a sponge bath these few days."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, can't go out stinky, can you?"

"No."

Emily's mom filled a little basin with warm water. She gave Jessie one hand towel and took the other. "Now, Jessie, don't wash the scars, it will hurt okay?" Jessie nodded and started to soap up the towel. Her mom started soaking the other towel as Jessie started to wash Emily's body. Emily stood there, wanting to object, but afraid of being reprimanded.

"Honey," her mom said softly, "I know that this isn't ideal, but it's not something you can do on your own yet. I'm very sorry if you are not comfortable, but it's just us girls here, nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?"

"I can't help it, I feel like an idiot."

"I know, no one likes not being able to do for themselves."

Jessie had already soaped up Emily's arms and was working on her belly. She skipped avoided the scar and then moved to the back. She soaped up the back while Emily's mom rinsed the soap off the front. Jessica washed Emily's backside and went down to the legs, Emily started to shiver from being exposed to the cold tile so long. Jessie worked her way back up the legs. Jessie then placed the towel on Emily's vagina and began to rub.

"Hey!" Emily jumped backwards, her muscles not ready for such a reaction caused her to fall to the ground.

"What?" Both Jessie and Emily's mother asked.

"She touched my cunny."

"Jessie, I didn't say to touch that."

"You said everywhere." Jessie tried to explain.

"Well I didn't mean there, that's private property, you wouldn't want Emily to touch you there."

"I wouldn't stop her."

"Young lady, for shame, you might talk like that with your Mom, but not in front of me, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mrs. Corsi, I'm sorry."

Emily's mom helped her to her feet and began to rinse the soap off. "Now, say you're sorry to Emily."

"Sorry, Emily, I didn't mean to scare you."

Emily just nodded, but was thinking more about how Jessie said she wouldn't stop her if she tried. "Why do I always find things out too late," she thought to herself while try to imagine the situation. She quickly dismissed it, afraid people may be able to read her thoughts.

"All done," her mom announced, "Now we can get dressed."

Her mom pulled out a pair of undies. They were white with little purple hearts on them. She handed them to Emily and told her to put them on. Emily stared at them, they looked different then any other pair she had ever worn. They didn't even look the same shape as other pairs she had worn.

"For a person that didn't want to be naked, you certainly are taking a long time to remedy that." Her mom said.

"I don't know how."

"How, what?"

"How to put them on." She held the pair up to her mother. "Which way is the front."

Her mother turned the pair around. "There you go."

"How did you know, where is the hole."

Emily's mom laughed, just realizing that an ex-boy wouldn't know such a thing yet. "Ours don't have a hole, you got to pull them down for what you are thinking. The way you tell is look at the tag in the leg, it always goes on the left."

"Okay, left." Emily pulled the cotton panties up her legs; they felt different too. They felt softer and more snug. She carefully pulled the waistband to the scar. She winced a little bit as the elastic first made contact with her wound. A few seconds though the pain subsided and she relaxed her face.

"How's that feel?" Her mom asked.

"Different." It was only a word, but it was the most accurate description she could come up with, without spending a few hours saying why it felt that way.

"No pain though."

"Only at first, but it went away fast."

"Good, we were worried you'd be too hurt to wear them. Are they too tight." Emily's mom felt along the elastic towards her backside and felt the elastic in the legs.

"Mom! Quit." Emily exclaimed while pulling away.

"Just making sure they were the right size for you. They are and now I won't ever have to check. Just remember what it feels like so when you need bigger you can tell me."

"O.K. geesh, this is a lot to remember."

"You'll learn, its easy, and you can get different kinds to, like mine." Jessie said as she lifted up her skirt, revealing what looked like a piece of cloth between her legs being held by a thick white rubber band.

"Young lady, please, it is not a nice thing to do, to flash your undies at people, we are suppose to be teaching Emily how to be a lady. You are not being a good example." Mrs. Corsi reprimanded once again.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just behave or wait outside."

"I'll be good, I promise." Jessie frowned.

"I'm sorry for being short with you, I know we are all doing the best we can." Mrs. Corsi put her arm around Jessie, realizing that she was dealing with young girls, not young adults.

"Okay, lets hurry up and finish." Emily's mom pulled out an all white garment.

"I thought I was going to wear the dress in the closet."

"You are silly."

"Then what's with the dress in your hand?"

"This isn't a dress silly, it's a slip, you wear it under your dress so boys don't see your goodies."

"A dress under a dress, that sounds dumb."

"Well, you'll know why when you're older. Now lift your arms." Emily did and her mom lowered the slip over her head carefully. She smoothed it out and made sure it was as perfect as possible. It was very soft.

Emily liked the feeling of all the softness of her clothes but didn't let on. She looked down and saw a small bow at her chest, and the lacey work of the top.

Her mom then went to the closet and got the simple dress that was hung there. "Back up with those arms." Emily did as was told and the dress was placed on her. The dress left her arms bare and came to just above the knee. "O.K. look in the mirror, tell me what you think."

Emily's mom opened the bathroom door, which revealed a full size mirror on the other end. Emily once again felt shocked at the reflection. Even more so now that she got the complete picture. There was no hint of the boy she had been just a while ago.

Looking back at her, she saw a cute little girl with a button nose, her hair combed into a ponytail and the butterfly hair clips accenting the look perfectly. Her white dress was bright and clean, the pink border that lead to the skirt part of the dress gave just the right amount of contrast. Even her little arms and legs gave the look that this was a precious girl. She blushed as she realized this, and the blushing only added to the look.

"Th-th-that's me?" she stammered.

"Yes, aren't you adorable." Jessie chimed in and her mother agreed.

"Yeah," Emily sighed.

"Okay, almost done, sit in the chair." Emily followed her mother's directions. Her mother then pulled out a pair of socks and placed them on Emily's feet. They only came up to her ankle and had two layers of ruffles. She next placed a pair of white shoes on her feet, and then strapped the front part. The shoes were narrower then what Emily had ever worn and had a small heel in the back. Emily got up and took a few steps, adjusting her balance.

"All done, let's get out of here." Emily's mom announced.

Slowly they left the room, mom grabbed the bag with all of Emily's belongings. She explained to her daughter that they would come back for the cards and balloons later. Emily didn't object, she was finally free from that prison.

They rode the elevator down to the lobby. Emily looked at herself in the mirrored finish. Her mom smiled while observing this, but didn't let on.

They got to the bottom floor and walked towards Emily's dad.

"Who is this child?" John sr. asked.

"Daddy!" Emily protested.

"Daddy? Oh, I couldn't be your daddy."

"Huh?" Emily started getting worried.

"I couldn't make someone as beautiful as you."

Emily didn't know if he was teasing or being serious. Her face revealed this.

"Oh, come here, you." He opened his arms wide and Emily fell into them. He rubbed her back. "I love you, boy or girl you will always be loved by me, you understand," he whispered into Emily's ear.

"Uhuh." She replied and kissed him on the cheek. This was the second time she kissed her father since becoming a girl; she hadn't done that in 5 years as a boy. It just came natural to do it though.

"Oh, aren't I a lucky man, a kiss by a beautiful angel"

Emily blushed. Still not use to be complimented, especially with the words beautiful and angel thrown in there.

"Well, we are all set, let's go." John said.

The car was parked out right out front. The group headed towards it. Emily's dad opened the trunk and her mom put the bag and odds and ends in. Emily just stood staring at the door. Jessie was let in on the other side and Emily's dad came over to let her mom in. Emily just stood staring at the door.

"Your highness, shall I open the door to your chariot?"

Emily didn't say a word she just stood their staring at the door.

Her dad opened the door, figuring that the silence was a cue to do such a thing. With the door opened, Emily just stood there, shaking in place.

"One second, hun," Emily heard her dad say. He put his arms around his daughter. "A little scared?"

Emily nodded. The sight of the car had brought back some memory of the accident.

"Afraid that you will get hurt again?"

She nodded again.

"I promise you, you will not get hurt, okay?"

"Last time I got in one, my whole life changed, what will happen this time?" Emily finally spoke.

"Last time was a one in a million thing to happen, how many times did you ride in a car before that, millions and billions right."

"Yeah, but," Emily couldn't think of anything, she was just consumed with fear.

"Did you ever get hurt with me driving?"

"No."

"I need you to be brave, I need you to trust me, okay?"

"Okay, I'll get in, but I'm still scared."

"I know baby, you're such a brave girl, it's okay to be scared but you've got to face your fears." Her dad patted her gently on the tush as she got into the car. He got in the front and looked back and told her to buckle up. Everyone buckled up, which wasn't a usual family practice. Emily sat in the back trembling. Jessie sat in the middle seat and held onto her. Emily buried her head in Jessie's chest as the car pulled away. She couldn't bear to look.

Other than the fact of being scared half out of her wits, the ride was pretty uneventful. Emily would occasionally peek at the view, but if they came up on an intersection, she returned her head to Jessie's chest. Each time Jessie would gently rub Emily's back. They finally pulled into the parking lot of a diner. Emily had never been here before.

"Daddy, what is this place?"

"This is Casa Milan, it's very good." Her dad informed.

"Why is this my first time here then?"

"Because it's a bit out of the way from our house, but it was on our way home, in a round about way."

That was enough of an explanation to satisfy Emily.

The group walked in through the frosted glass door. The restaurant was a little crowded, but not packed. Emily's dad told the waiter that they had reservations.

"Why is everyone watching me, someone is going to know it's me and tell everyone." Emily worried to herself "Why won't they look away, it's because they know. Why did we have to go out to eat, why couldn't we just go home, or just stay in the hospital. Stop looking." Emily tried to shrink back behind a potted palm. Her mom came over to her and took her hand.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Everyone is looking at me."

"Don't be silly, who is looking at you?"

"Everyone."

"Point one person out, and if you can we will deal with it."

Emily took a closer look, no one was looking directly at her, they hid it by looking out of the corners of their eyes. That's what she thought, at least. The fact was that everyone was too wrapped up in their own meal and own company to have noticed the group come in.

"They're looking, they are just hiding it."

"Now, don't be silly, let's have a nice meal, together, as a family."

The waiter informed the group that their table was ready. They were led to a table by the window. Though Emily normally sat at the spot closest to the window, this time she chose to forgo that honor so someone wouldn't pass by and notice her.

The table was nicely prepared, each spot having water and lemon. A basket of rolls was placed in the center of the table. Emily looked at her reflection in a spoon, somehow concerned that what she saw in the hospital might have changed on the way over here.

Emily's mom placed the napkin around her neck, "You don't want to spill anything on that pretty dress." Her dad did the same for Jessie. They ate rolls and drank water. They looked at the menu and discussed what they each wanted. A waiter finally came to take their drink order, but the group had in fact been ready to order their meal.

"What will it be then, sir?" The waiter addressed John Sr. but was staring at Emily.

"The two young ladies would like spaghetti and meatballs, my wife will have the chicken al Fredo, and I'll have the veal Parmesan."

"Very good sir, and what to drink?" the waiter still stared at Emily and it was becoming more and more obvious. Emily tried to shrink down in her chair, to look away, to make exaggerated movements, but nothing seemed to work.

"Cokes all around."

"Very good sir," the waiter left. As soon as the waiter got two steps away, Emily buried her head into Jessie's chest. John got up and decided to track him down.

"Hey," John called to him.

"Yes, sir, is their something you forgot?"

"Yes to ask you why you were staring at my daughter? I didn't want to cause a scene."

"I am sorry, I couldn't help but notice that nasty scar over her head, I'm pre-med at NYU and was just curious."

"Well, Mr. Pre-med, she just got out of the hospital today and is very self-conscious about it, you staring didn't help one bit, she was on the verge of tears."

"Oh my, I didn't realize, I will apologize right away."

John returned to the table first and shortly after the waiter returned with the drinks. He then knelt down next to Emily.

"Little girl."

"Yes," Emily said so quietly that the words were barely heard.

"I'm sorry I was staring at you, it's because I noticed the scar on your head and it was rude of me. I was just trying to figure out how it happened. Please except my apology, you are still a very pretty little thing."

"I accept, sir."

The waiter went over to John, "Again sir, I'm sorry, to make up for it dessert is on the house tonight if you so desire."

"Fair enough."

The waiter walked away again. "It must be something with doctors," Emily quipped. Her mom laughed, but no one else knew the joke.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch and they each ate their fill. Emily ate half her meal, feeling too full for dessert. Her dad decided that the meal was sufficient and asked for the check. He paid and left a nice little tip; the waiter again apologized.

The family got back into the car, this time it was a little easier for Emily to enter, but it still scared her. Emily got into the center seat, buckled her seat belt and pulled to make sure it was secure. Jessie got in and buckled up also, as soon as she was finished Emily placed her head on Jessie's shoulder. The car pulled away and Emily squeezed onto Jessie and began to sob.

"It'll be okay. baby." her dad called back, noticing what was going on. "We will be home real soon."

"Ahuh." Emily murmured back. "It's not just that. It's everything."

"Still adjusting, baby, still adjusting. You will get used to the new you, give it time.

"What about my room and my toys and my clothes?"

"Well, you know we changed your room, we think you are going to like it. We put a lot of your clothes in storage for now, if they still fit in a year and you want to, you can wear them again."

"Um, okay." Emily returned her head to Jessie's shoulder. She took a small breath through her nose and noticed an odor. It was sweet smelling, like flowers. She took a bigger whiff, the fumes smelled almost heavenly. It started to relax her a little and she nuzzled her head into Jessie's chest. Jessie in turn rubbed her back with one hand and squeezed her leg with the other. This made Emily get those feelings in her belly, the kind she could not yet explain.

Finally, they were back home. A place Emily longed to be, a place she dreamed of every night while in the hospital. Also a place she feared, because her room, her whole world, was going to be different. She envisioned that everything would be so pink and feminine that it would make her sick. She got out of the car after Jessie, and they walked behind Emily's parents. At the door her dad placed a blindfold over her eyes.

"It's a big surprise." Her mom said.

"Okay." Emily went along with it.

They walked upstairs to the room. Emily's dad actually carried her up; she hadn't been carried in a very long time. She felt someone take off her shoes.

"Why'd you take my shoes off?" Emily asked.

"You'll see," mom replied. "We are here, your new room, don't take the blind fold off yet."

Emily was placed back on the ground; her feet fell into a think, soft plush carpet. She wiggled her toes and giggled at the sensation.

"What do you feel, honey?" her dad asked.

"It's fluffy."

"Now smell the air?"

Emily smelled the air, it had a very light scent, but definitely a scent was there. "It smells like the garden."

"Okay, remove your blindfold."

The moment Emily had feared has arrived, she hoped that if she hated it that she could fool her parents. Slowly she pulled off the blindfold and opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the dark pink plush carpet under her feet. She looked up and hardly recognized the place. Her walls were painted white and a pink border separated the wall from the ceiling. The bed was new too, and full-size with a canopy. The bed had a white quilt, sprinkled with small pink and purple hearts, the pink sheets barely visible. In the corner sat a white writing table, her dresser had been painted from brown to white and the knobs had been replaced with ones that looked like red hearts. Her night tables each had little pink lamps and a rose in a glass jar. Her closet doors were painted white also, they were open and the inside looked almost bare. The window had white and pink drapes and a wooden seated area was now in front of them. They were padded with pink cushions and white throw pillows on each side. Some plush animals now sat there.

"Well?" Jessie nudged while Emily was still trying to take it all in.

Emily started to tear.

"That bad?" Her dad asked.

"No, that good."

Her dad bent down and wiped her tears. She gave him a big hug and a kiss. She went over and hugged her mom. She didn't want to admit the room was to her liking; in fact she wanted to appear nonchalant about it. But, it was so overwhelming and so well done; it was obvious her parents put a lot of time into this. She felt so loved that she couldn't help but love the room.

"Maybe she is excepting her fate," Dad whispered to Mom as they watched the girl's look around the room and explore.

"Maybe, but for now let's not push things." Mom whispered back.

"You missed the best part, Emily." Her dad called to her and then slid the closet door so the other side was visible.

"My stereo!" She exclaimed.

"A deal's a deal" mom said.

Her parents were shocked that instead of running to her new toy, that she ran to them and gave them hugs.

"Can Jessie sleep over, please?" Emily asked.

"If it's okay with her parents, sure, why not?"

---

Now evidently with each installment I write longer and longer. So the next installment should be roughly the size of a Sunday newspaper and part 6 should be a novelette. Maybe. Good news, I do know where it's going and even scribbled down a rough outline, so, yes, an end is in sight.

by Little Katie

Part 5
Daddy's Girl

By Little Katie

Ah, part V, next time I'll have to use my other hand to count with. She's home, isn't that great, and a sleepover as well, oh boy (or girl). I need to clarify something, there are some sexual scenes contained in this part, and before people start shouting child porn, note it is clearly exploratory as most kids do. But if you are offended by such things, please keep any comments to yourself, all other comments welcome.

---

Emily sat on the old swing that overlooked her back yard. She gently rocked back and forth, allowing her bare feet to lightly graze the cool evening grass. She inhaled the evening air, enjoying the smell of nature and the outdoors. Her movement stilled after a bit as she got caught up in just being out of the hospital.

"I missed this place," she said to herself, "it's exactly the same, but everything is different. Maybe its just that I'm all different."

A lady bug landed on her bare arm. She sat and watched it as it crawled up towards her elbow. It seemed so beautiful to her that she tried to hold in her giggle so as not to frighten the little creature. She lasted a few seconds before giggling softly. The creature flew away.

"Bye, bye, pretty lady bug," Emily said softly, kind of sad that the creature went away. She rocked back a tad further, the breeze of the motion could be felt up her dress. She wasn't use to feeling a breeze that high on her leg. It felt different, but it caused slight pleasure. Alone, she felt safe to explore such things, but at the same time a feeling of loneliness and isolation was with her as well.

"Jessie is here." Her mom called out.

"I'm coming." Emily shouted and ran towards the house, leaving her shoes next to the swing. Jessie had gone back home to get things for the night, but that was several hours ago. Emily met Jessie at the door and smiled and gave her a big hug.

"Took you long enough." Emily teased.

"I had to clean my room and then pack. Here, take one of these bags."

Emily took a pink duffel bag from off the ground. "You're only spending the night, what's all this, moving in?"

"I brought my Barbie stuff so we can play and have fun."

"Oh, okay, let's go to my room. Mom, we're gonna spend the whole night in my room is that okay?"

"Sure, dear, just don't make too much noise and don't tear the place up."

The two girls raced up the stairs upon hearing the okay from Emily's mom. Emily closed the door behind them and placed the bag on the end of her bed.

"This is gonna be fun.' Jessie said with excitement.

"Yeah, I never had a girl sleep over with me."

"It's a lot of fun, we can stay up all night and talk or play with dolls or listen to music or tell stories."

Emily smiled at Jessie, and sat on the bed, Jessie sat down next to her.

"What are you thinking about?" Jessie asked, placing an arm around Emily.

"You."

"Me, what about me?"

"You remember when you kissed me in the hospital."

"Yeah," Jessie blushed.

"I really liked it"

"Cool, so did I"

"You ever kiss like grown ups do?"

"No, did you?"

"No." Emily blushed, realizing that though she may have lied to a few of her friends, she was much too timid to attempt such a thing.

"Want to?" Jessie gushed.

Emily just nodded, not wanting to say anything, unsure what words to use.

Jessie leaned toward her and parted her lips. Emily followed suit and moved toward Jessie. Before long their lips met and they softly tasted each other, each unsure exactly what they were doing, but liking it just the same. It seemed like they were kissing for an eternity, but only fifteen seconds had elapsed. They both stopped simultaneously.

"How was it?" Jessie asked.

"Wow, that was so good, I--" Emily turned beet red and hugged her friend.

"It was good for me too, you're my first," said Jessie.

"You're my first, too, I hope my only."

"Aw." Jessie flung her arms around Emily and the two rubbed noses and sat in silence for a few moments. Suddenly a knock came at the door.

"Yes?" Emily asked as the two girls created some space between them.

"Just making sure you two were okay" Emily's dad said, coming in, "and I brought you up some snacks so you girls can keep to yourselves."

Both girls thanked him and took some cookies, chips and sodas from his arm.

"Oh, by the way," Emily's dad continued, "when someone knocks you might also want to adjust your skirts." He winked at Emily and smiled. Emily adjusted her dress, which inadvertently had gotten raised above her panties. She buried her head in a teddy bear as her dad left.

"You think he knows?" Emily asked.

"Nah, he probably thinks we was wrestling or something."

"I hope so."

"Anyway, he's cool, he's so not like your mom."

"What do you mean?"

"My mom says your mom is uptight, like in the hospital, geesh."

"What?"

"I never had my mom get so upset because I showed my undies, it was just girls there and you were nudey."

"I guess, maybe she has to get use to it."

"Nah, your mom's always like that and you know it, if something can be wrong with something, she'll find it."

"She's okay and she's pregnant, my dad says girls go screwy when carrying."

"Okay, maybe. Just think, soon you'll have a real doll to play with and change and stuff. I bet your mom has you baby sit now that you're a chick."

"Huh? What's that got to do with anything?"

"Everyone knows you can't have a guy baby sitter."

"Why?"

"I don't know, you ever have a guy watch you, not your dad?"

"No."

"See, anyway speaking of dolls, let's play some Barbie and I can teach you better about being a girl, okay?"

Jessie and Emily emptied the large pink duffel bag carefully. They placed each doll on one area of the floor and they separated the clothes to the appropriate doll. They set up the doll furniture to make a mock house, each room having its specific items. Jessie dressed the brunette Barbie in red shorts and a white blouse. She sat down and took a small brush and worked on the doll's hair. "Got to make her pretty, she's got a date with Ken."

It wasn't the first time that Emily had played with dolls, in fact before the accident, they played many types of games. But, this time Emily paid close attention to Jessie. The times that she played with dolls, as John, she just went through the motions without paying much attention. She thought if she had to spend the year as a girl, then it would be best that she learned what to do. She picked up the blonde Barbie, and put a blue sequined gown on her and the matching shoes. She sat down and began to mimic Jessie, paying close attention to getting her doll's hair to match her friends. "Who is this Barbie going to date?" she asked.

"The other Ken doll, his name is Ben, they are twins." Jessie laughed. "You got to dress him up for the date too, and then you got to tell me the story of the date too."

"Okay, I think I know how I want the date." Emily replied as they both took a Ken doll. Jessie dressed up her Ken in blue shorts and a white polo shirt. She put sneakers on his feet and placed him and her Barbie into the car. Emily dressed her Ken doll in a tuxedo and matching accessories.

"You tell your story first, tell me about their date," said Jessie.

Emily took the doll and started to role play. "This is Ben, he is going to take Barbie on the best date of her life. First he will take her to a six star restaurant and buy her lobster and wine. Then he will order his limo to pick them up because they were drinking. They will go to the opening of Ben's new play that he wrote. They will sit in the best seats, up and away from people. After that they will go to Ben's mansion. When they get there he will surprise her and propose to her. She will be so happy and say yes. Then they will kiss and cuddle and fall asleep."

"Wow!" Jessie said as she looked at Emily with astonishment.

"What?"

"You never ever told a story like that, it was good. Usually you say they go out to McDonalds and go home and only take a second. I loved it better then any other story, I home mine is good."

Emily watched as Jessie acted out a date where Ken and Barbie did a bunch of sports things. They went to play tennis, and then water skiing and all kinds of athletic things. Emily got interested in the story line, more so then ever. She also was in deep thought, thinking about how she was acting different than in the past. Could she be liking becoming a girl, or did it even matter now that Jessie was here?

"Its getting late," Jessie said, looking at the clock, "it's past nine."

"So? I thought the point was to stay up late."

"Yeah, but in bed, and telling jokes and things, we need our pajamas."

"Want to use my bathroom to change?" Emily asked.

"No, we can do it right here. We are both girls now, you know."

"Yeah, I guess its okay."

Jessie removed her jeans and shirt. Emily watched her carefully as she did. She had dreamed of such an occasion ever since she learned the difference between boys and girls, yet now it seemed moot. "I guess if I wanted to see it, I could look in the mirror," Emily thought to herself.

Jessie put on a white tee shirt, it barely covered her tush. As she moved, Emily could see her underwear peek out. A few months ago this would have driven her wild, but now she didn't have the same kind of feeling about it. She liked what she was seeing, but her impulse to stare or to try to see through the clothing was no longer there. She simply enjoyed seeing what she saw for what it was.

"Okay, your turn." Jessie called out.

Emily slowly lifted her dress and took it off. She found an empty hanger in the closet and hung the dress on the door. "Maybe Mom needs to wash it special," Emily thought to herself. She caught herself out of the corner of her eye in a mirror by the door.

"You know this slip would make a pretty good dress too." She said to Jessie.

"It's a little thin."

"Maybe good enough to sleep in."

"You're just stalling."

It was true, she was simply stalling. She didn't worry about Jessie seeing her in just her undies, but that her old feelings might return and she wouldn't know how to handle them. But, she did need to get ready for bed. Finally she removed the slip and stood in front of the mirror again. She gazed at her crotch, the skin tight panties seemed alien and the lack of any bulge made her realize that nothing had returned. She found a nighty in the second drawer of her dresser; though there were several to chose from, she picked a soft, pink, sleeveless one. She noticed that none of the pajamas had any bottoms to them. She slipped the nighty over her head and noticed in the mirror that it didn't exactly cover everything. The lower region of her panties were clearly visible. "Oh well, she already saw me naked" Emily mused to herself.

"You're adorable!" Jessie squealed.

"Quit that." Emily blushed and turned away.

"You know what's nice to do in the summer?"

"What?"

"Sleep with no panties on, its cooler."

"No."

"Yeah, want to?"

"I don't know, I guess if you do it, I will."

"Okay, but if I take my panties off and you don't then I'm going home." Jessie warned.

"Deal."

Jessie sat on the window bench. The shades were drawn so she didn't worry about others looking in. She slowly removed her panties.

"See nothing to it." She said as she flung her panties at Emily.

Emily looked in disbelief for a second, starring at Jessie's vagina. While still staring she removed her panties as well. Though Jessie's nighty concealed some of her privates, Emily had no such comfort. Emily felt the air gently brush against her vagina, she felt pleasure but was afraid of it being known.

"Let's get into bed," Jessie said as she leaped onto the full size bed. Emily pulled the covers down and climbed in. Soon after Jessie followed suit.

They looked at each other and laughed. Emily reached over and turned the lamp off.

"Jessie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I think I'm still in love with you."

"I know."

"I mean like wanting to be with you."

"You are with me, silly."

"I mean." Emily trailed off.

"You mean this," Jessie took Emily's hand and placed it high on her own thigh.

"Um, yeah," Emily kept her hand still as she felt her friends thigh.

"I told you in the hospital I wouldn't stop you."

"I thought you were joking."

"No." Jessie said as she parted her legs slightly. "I've loved you since I was a baby, why stop now?"

"Cause I'm not a boy anymore."

"So what, that doesn't stop anything." Jessie kissed Emily, softly their mouths touched as their tongues danced together. Emily's hand moved to Jessie's mound, slowly, as if not to feel any heavier then air, Emily rubbed.

"I'm sorry I jumped in the hospital when you touched me, you took me off guard."

"Want me to try again?"

Emily nodded meekly as she opened her legs slightly. Jessie went real slow as she made her way up Emily's leg. Trying to mimic her friends touch, Jessie rubbed very slow and gently. "It even feels like mine." Jessie informed.

"I hadn't thought of it, but you're right." Emily touched her own along with Jessie to confirm the comparison. She felt a little bit of moistness in them both as well. Her body was tingling and her belly felt warm. Her face was warm as well and she couldn't understand why. The sensation caused her pleasure and also some guilt, that she shouldn't be doing this. But, the pleasure exceeded the guilt considerably. She noticed that as Jessie's hand moved back and forth, her own hips moved rhythmically in the opposite direction.

To her surprise Jessie was doing the same thing. They each looked at each other and kissed softly again. Their hands left their privates and embraced each other.

"Do you like that?" Jessie asked.

"It's weird but feels good."

"Yeah," Jessie agreed. "I never had someone do that before."

"Me neither." they both laughed.

"You feel hot?" Jessie asked.

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah, let's not sleep in anything."

"Sure."

Jessie removed her nighty and threw it beside her side of the bed. Emily followed suit. The light that filtered into the room was limited and didn't help Emily see anything new. She was curious if her friend's looked like hers. She never had compared what she used to have to the other boys, the opportunity never arose.

"This is fun, I'm glad I slept over, if you weren't a girl this would've never happened."

"Yeah, I'm glad too." Emily said but her words surprised her; was she glad because she got to explore with someone she had dreamed about or was she glad that she was a girl? She just didn't know.

The girls hugged each other and snuggled together. Emily loved the feel of her bare skin touching her friend. It was so soft and warm, it sent the same type of feeling through her body as when Jessie was rubbing. She couldn't exactly explain why this was. Jessie adjusted herself and now their privates were touching each other. Not the whole part, just the upper portion. Emily and Jessie each sighed contently. They looked at each other and smiled softly. They dozed off to sleep, each in her own personal heaven.

Around 2:30 in the morning, Emily stirred lightly. She and Jessie were still embraced, but, she felt something different from her groin area. "Crud, I got to take a pee" she thought, not wanting to leave her friend. This was the first time this fact of nature had happened to her since becoming a girl. In the hospital, they had taken care of it somehow, she didn't want to think about. She lifted Jessie's arm from around her waist and slowly rolled away.

The soft plush carpeting kept her from making a sound as she hopped to the floor. The cool air whispered against her soft, pink flesh. She made her way to the door and slowly opened it. She looked into the hallway to make sure the coast was clear, remembering that she was, in fact, naked. She darted across the hall and into her bathroom. The bathroom was hers, except in the morning when her dad used it to shower and shave, saying that her mother's 'junk' always got in his way.

Emily closed and latched the door as was her practice. She stood before the bowl and lifted the seat. She then relaxed her bladder as she had done a millions time before. She felt the warm liquid spray down her leg. She fumbled trying to find something to aim and make it to the bowl. "Oh my God," she thought as she came to her senses.

She closed off her bladder and put down the seat. She sat there on the bowl and let nature finish. Her legs were wet, and her pride was damaged. When she was done, she took a terrycloth towel and wiped up her leg and placed it on the floor to get the rest of the mess. She would come back and clean the rest when she woke up in the morning.

Emily unlatched the door, and checked the hall for her parents. Figuring no one would be up at this hour, she slowly shuffled her feet. "Why does this have to happen to me?" She sobbed. She opened her door, entered her room and slowly closed it, the latch barely made a sound.

She sat on the edge of her bed and cried. "I can't even do the simplest thing like potty, how am I ever going to get use to this?" she thought, trying to not make a sound, but crying none the less. A small hand touched her back.

"What's wrong, why you crying?" Jessie asked.

"I made a mess, I can't even go pee right."

"How did you make a mess, girls can't miss."

"I forgot and tried standing up. It got all over my leg and floor."

Jessie laughed in spite of herself.

"Forget you then." Emily said, as she pulled away from her friends touch.

"No, I'm not laughing because you made the mistake."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm laughing cause I did the same thing when I was five, I wanted to go like my dad."

"For real?"

"Yes, it's okay, I still love you."

Emily sat back down, and Jessie wrapped her arms around Emily's back. "I don't think I would be able to get through this without you."

"That's why I'm here." Jessie giggled. Emily laid back down, and rolled to face Jessie. Jessie brought Emily's head into her chest and petted her hair. "It will be okay." Jessie kissed Emily on the forehead and they both went back to sleep.

At about 8 a.m. John senior entered his daughter's room; her mother was making her favorite breakfast. He opened the door gently, not wanting to scare the two children from their sleep. They were cuddling each other and the sun lit their rosy bottoms. He laughed softly at seeing this, even though his first reaction had been shock and anger. "I guess it's not that bad," he thought to himself, "it's just youthful curiosity and I guess since they are now both girls, no harm is done."

John walked to the bed and gently shook his daughter on the hip. "Wake up, sweetie, you too, Jessie." He said as he shook the other girl. Emily stirred and slowly opened her eyes. She saw her dad standing there, she quickly looked for the sheet to cover herself up. She threw it over herself and Jessie, who was also coming to.

"Morning, Daddy," Emily said meekly, afraid that she was going to be in real trouble.

"Morning, sweat pea," He said, sitting down on the bed. "Have a nice sleep over?"

"Yeah" Emily said, waiting for the bomb to drop.

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble," John said, noticing the worried looks on their faces. They both smiled and looked relieved.

"Thanks, Daddy." Emily said and Jessica seconded.

"You're just lucky it was me that came to wake you and not your mother, she would of flipped, understand?"

The girls nodded their heads, knowing that what they had done should be a secret, and also, that John knew they had been naked.

"Now, give me a hug and a kiss and then get dressed before Mom does find out."

Emily let the sheet drop and hugged her dad and kissed him on the cheek, Jessie did the same thing. He patted each girl on the rump and gave them a slight push to get ready. He turned and smiled at them as he left the room.

"Too cute," he thought as he walked down the hall, "it must be great to have such innocence."

"I thought we were dead" Jessie exclaimed.

"Yeah, good thing it wasn't my mom, she's like really strict on being clothed, she wouldn't even let me get undressed to run through the sprinklers when I was a baby."

"Your dad saw us, you know, naked and all." Jessie giggled.

"So what, he's my dad."

"He's cute too."

"No, he isn't, quit that and get dressed before my mom comes in."

Jessie put on the same clothes she was wearing yesterday, knowing that soon she would be back at home.

Emily went to her dresser and got a pair of yellow undies and slid them up her leg, the elastic hurt when it touched the scar, but the pain soon went away.

She looked in the other drawers and found a blue denim skirt. The zipper and tag were both in the back.

"What's wrong with this thing?" Emily asked while pointing out the skirt.

"Its suppose to be that way, put it on and I'll zip you up." Emily pulled the skirt up above her waist slightly so the material wouldn't rub against her scar. Jessie zipped up the back and gave Emily a small swat on the tush.

Emily found a white tee that had an outline of a star on the chest. "Not too bad." She thought and she put it on.

"Hey, it don't fit," she said as she looked down and saw her stomach showing.

Jessie laughed. "That's the style, you look cute, let's go and eat."

The girls made their way down the stairs and the odor of French toast greeted them. They each ate their full, and afterwards Jessie went home. She did however leave her toys behind, this way Emily had something to play with, she was sweet that way.

Mom sat down next to Emily after the table was cleared. "So how was your first sleepover?" she asked

"It was a lot of fun."

"What did you guys do?"

"We played with her dolls and that was fun and we listened to the stereo some, mostly we just talked and slept."

"Sounds like a you did have fun then, good. See, being a girl doesn't mean you don't get to do some really neat stuff."

"No, I guess it don't."

"Good. What happened in the bathroom, I normally don't go in there but it smelled."

"Oh, I had an accident in the middle of the night and was too tired to clean it then, I'm sorry."

"Did you get the sheets too?"

"No," Emily replied, "I forgot I needed to sit and tried to do it like a boy."

"I see," her mom raised an eyebrow, "you got to remember these things."

"I'm trying, it was the first time."

"Make it your last, we don't need to get the floor messy and smelly, and what if you were out somewhere and did that, so think."

"Dear," Dad stepped in, "it was a one time thing, let her adjust to things."

Her Mom just gave her Dad a look. "You need to start remembering you're a girl, you're Emily, Johny is dead, you hear, you aren't a boy."

Emily's eyes welled up and she bolted from the room. Her father turned to go after her. "Let her be, let her have a good cry," said her mother.

John turned back to his wife, "What the hell is your problem? Why did you say those things, she's a little kid you know, and this just happened."

"We can't coddle her, she's got to adjust and if we keep pussyfooting around it, its just going to be that much harder."

"Wait, wasn't it you that said take it slow."

"This way is best for her, if we go gentle and try to be lenient she is going to think that stuff can just go on. She's cursing me under her breath, but she won't piss on the floor again."

"That's cruel, I can't do that to her. All those other things you said weren't cool either."

"We got to cram ten years of being a girl into her as soon as possible, this is the best way. It may be harsh but in the long run, you'll see."

"I think you;re wrong, and what happens if she does have another accident, new plumbing isn't going to be that easy to get use to."

"Then I'll put her in diapers until she learns. This way in a month I'll have two babies instead of one. The humiliation alone should teach her then."

"You're wrong, woman, just wrong, and I'm not having this argument until you come to your senses."

John walked out of the room and back up the stairs toward his daughter's bedroom. Even with the door closed he could hear the tears. He knocked on the door gently.

"Who is it?" Emily yelled out through the tears.

"It's Dad, can I come in?"

"I guess."

John walked in to see Emily hiding under the covers, her head buried in a pillow. He sat down and rubbed her back, trying to coax her out.

"We need to talk, sweet pea, don't hide from me, please?"

Emily pulled down the blanket from over her head and rolled to face her dad. Her eyes were red and her bottom lip trembled slightly. John opened his arms and Emily jumped into them, crying on his chest.

"That's okay, honey, let it out."

"Why?" Emily asked as it was the only question she could think of.

"I don't know completely why? Your mom thinks it's best to be strict with you, that it will help you get used to being a girl quicker."

"But I'm dead, she said it herself."

"I don't think she means it the way you do. That part of your life is over, being John Junior, perhaps, maybe not, we still made a deal. But inside, you are still the same person, just the shell is different, but everything that made you special as a boy, makes you equally special as a girl."

"But, why is she being mean, she was never like that, she hates me."

"No, honey, she doesn't, she loves you very much and this is just her way of dealing with things. That and her hormones are running wild with this baby on the way. You remember how she was crying a while ago, because I gave her a rose."

"Yeah."

"Same thing I think, she just can't control it and we have to be understanding too."

"But it hurts."

"I know, she'll come around and figure that out, you know Mom."

"I guess," Emily said as she wiped off her tears.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I like that we had this talk, we haven't talked this much in a long time."

"I like that we talked too, it's nice."

"No what else is nice?"

"No?"

"Holding you."

Emily blushed, "I like it, too."

"Do you like being Daddy's little girl?" John asked not really knowing why, perhaps just to see the reaction.

Emily blushed a bit more. "I kind of do." Emily wasn't saying that to make her dad happy. She answered it truthfully, shocking them both. But being held by her dad's strong hands, being vulnerable emotionally but knowing she was safe in his arms, gave her a sense of joy.

Her dad wiped away her tears, and wiped the tear that had formed in his own eye. He held onto her and rocked her slightly, realizing that he too, enjoyed having a Daddy's girl.

"Wow," her dad said, "I think we both made a big step out of all this mess that happened to you."

"I don't know."

"I hope you were being honest about liking being Daddy's little girl, it makes me feel special."

"You are special Daddy, and it's true, really, I don't know why, but I really like this and like that you like me like this. Do I make sense?"

"A lot of sense."

"I also like this," Emily through her arms around her Daddy's neck and gave him a huge kiss on his cheek."

"That was sweet, honey." John kissed his daughter back, placing it right on her forehead.

"Am I wrong for liking this?"

"No, not at all, I love this, but not as much as I love you."

Emily began to tear again as she kissed her father for a second time. His hands held onto her, one on her back and the other on her bottom.

"Emily?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, I love you a whole bunch."

"I Love you too, Daddy, with all my heart, honest."

"Why don't you play some and let's give Mom a bit of a rest today. I'll take her out somewhere just the two of us, this way you can have the house to yourself. Will that be okay with you?"

"Yes, Daddy."

John left the room, but not before getting one more kiss, this time on the lips. He smiled, "I can get use to this" he thought. He told his wife that Emily was okay and she gave him an I-told-you-so look. He also told her that they should go out, just the two of them, give the parents and child a break from each other. She agreed, and made a half-hearted apology that she may have been wrong.

Emily sat in the window and watched as her parents walked to the car in the driveway. Her dad, noticing her, gave her a little wave. Mom did, too. Emily blew them each a kiss and smiled and laughed.

"What was that all about?" Mom asked John.

"Just a little talk and an understanding we reached."

"Oh, gonna clue me in?"

"No," John joked, "it's between Daddy and his little girl."

John opened the car door for his pregnant wife and then got in on his side, they drove off to points unknown, well, unknown to Emily at least.

Emily watched as the car drove out of sight. "I guess I don't really mind everything about being a girl. It's nice being with Dad and Jessie. I don't know why Mom has got to be mean."

Emily walked to her bathroom, the towel was still where she left it. "It smells a little, but its not all that bad." She bent down and picked up the towel. She walked down the stairs and threw it straight in the washing machine. She put a cup of detergent in, just as she seen Mom do a thousand times and started the wash.

She went back upstairs with a bottle of spray cleaner, a sponge and some paper towel. She started to scrub the area with the sponge. "Cinderella, Cinderella" she started to sing as she worked. She giggled at herself as she finished drying the area with the paper towels. "Gee, that wasn't so hard" she said sarcastically.

Emily went back to the room. She decided to make her bed. She just felt that everything should be neat. She made her bed with care and it looked almost as good as when she first saw it.

She turned her attention to the dolls on the floor. She pretended that Barbie was being taken to France with her husband Ken. "Wee, madam this is the Eiffel Tower," she made the second Ken doll say as she made a small tent out of a wash cloth. She laughed a little, but got bored quickly. "Dolls aren't a lot of fun without a friend." Her old toys could not be found, she assumed they were put in storage with the other boy clothes. She put on her stereo, she watched as the display lit up to the beat of the music. All of the sudden a song came on, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world, imagination..." Emily just laughed at this song, but it caused her to dance. She twirled and rocked her hips and laughed, she felt free now that she was alone. Even her longer hair felt good as it swished against her shoulders. After the song she felt tired and sat down by the window. She swung her feat and stared at the empty street.

She saw the grass and realized that the last baseball game was coming up tomorrow. "I think I'll go, I don't want to just stay in the house all the time." she thought to herself. "I'll be in uniform anyway so I won't have to explain nothing to no one. I hope Mom and Dad let me."

Emily got tired of staying by the window, and as all children do, went on to something else. She went downstairs and found a magazine. It was odd, it was Teen for preteens. She laughed, "shouldn't they just call it Preteen?" She took it outside and sat on the swing. She rocked back and forth and read the magazine from front to back. It contained articles on make-up and boys. It also contained articles about menstruation and she wondered if now she was a girl if that would happen to her. She decided she better ask her Mom that one, in case something happened.

Our young lady, Emily, is learning some of the joys of being a girl, and though there are some problems so far she is being a trooper. Like I said the sex was exploratory, my four-year-old niece has been caught playing with some boys, so it happens. Anyway, this is another example of the story going in a different path and me just going along for the ride and writing it for you. A lot of this chapter was not planned, or was planned differently than what happened. Enjoy, and please, post your comments.

by Little Katie

Chapter 6
The games we play

Oh, I'm just churning out the chapters now though, aren't I? I was a little disappointed by the lack of comments, poor Emily is worried no one likes her. But life goes on, as you will see here. Another chapter where things just seem to happen and I only get one outline point done, don't worry next time I will get three because they are all entwined.

---

 

Emily sat in the den, trying to find something to watch on the television. She tried to watch some of her old favorites, but they seemed too violent for her. She didn't know why she wasn't enjoying it, but everything felt off. Wrestling seemed too barbaric, action shows didn't seem to have any good characters and their wasn't a baseball game in sight.

She slowly flipped through the channels, and finally came to one she liked. Her mom watched this one all of the time, but she never stood around to see what it was all about. But, "Touched by an Angel" was a very good show and she was following the story. She really got into it, crying when the scenes were sad, laughing at the little jokes. She was amazed how the angels made the people change. In the beginning they hated God and at the end they wanted nothing more then to be with Him.

"Dear God," Emily knelt on the floor, "I don't know if you recognize me, it's me John Jr. of New Jersey. Well, I'm Emily now, I don't know if you were paying attention. I know you are very busy. Can you send me an Angel to make me used to all this or turn me back, please? Amen."

Emily didn't pray all that much, but she felt good about the fact that she did then. She heard the car pull into the driveway, she opened the door and waited for her mom and dad to come up the walk.

"Hey, kiddo." Her mom said.

"Hi, Mommy." Emily said while looking down at the ground.

Emily's mom took her by the chin and raised her eyes. "You have no reason to look down little one."

"I guess."

"I love you, don't ever forget that, you understand."

"Yes, Mom."

"Good, lets go to the table, we brought you some food from Burger King."

Emily went to the kitchen and sat down at the counter. Her mom always got her food she liked whenever she wanted to say sorry, but couldn't. Her mom placed the Whopper Jr. and fries in front of Emily. Mom fussed with her hair for a little bit, "You got to learn how to comb this right, you know."

"I know, I wasn't going anywhere."

"That's not an excuse, a young lady should be neat and presentable."

"I'll try."

"No trying, you will, trying sounds like you plan to fail."

Emily frowned and stared at her food. Dad cleared his throat, reminding his wife to perhaps change the subject.

"So," Mom said, "do anything fun while we were gone."

"I read some, and listened to my stereo." Emily cheered up.

"Reading is good, read anything interesting."

"Well, one of the magazines was talking about periods, will I be getting those to know."

"Young lady that is not a conversation for an eating table."

"Sorry."

"Sorry, you are starting to sound like Jessie."

"Dear, she was just curious." John stepped in, "No, dear, that won't be happening to you, you get to luck out."

Mom just peered at her Husband.

"Vivian relax. Emily your mother is right though, private stuff like that is inappropriate at the table, now you know okay?"

"Yes, Dad."

"What else were you wondering?" Her mom asked, kind of coldly.

"I was kind of wondering, if maybe, maybe I can go to the baseball game tomorrow to be with my friends.

"That's an excellent idea," Mom said cheerfully.

"You mean I can go?"

"Yes, you should see your friends."

"Thanks, Mom." Emily smiled.

"What pretty thing are you going to wear?" Mom asked.

"Huh?"

"Well, you got a lot of dresses to pick from and won't they be surprised to see you?"

"I thought I would wear my uniform."

"No."

"Yes." Dad said simultaneously with Mom.

"Why would you need to wear a uniform, you won't be playing."

"Because she wants to be with friends and has to find her own way to tell them." Dad answered for Emily.

"Well, what better way to tell them, then by just showing up."

"Maybe it is not her way." Dad said, then turned his attention to his daughter "Emily, how do you want to go to the game?"

"In my uniform."

"That is not an option, young lady, you go looking pretty or don't go at all."

"Then I won't go, and I won't eat your food," Emily said as she through the remainder of her food in the garbage, "and I won't ever leave my room either." Emily ran up the stairs and slammed the door behind her.

"You just had to start didn't you?" John said to his wife.

"There you go coddling again, she has got to tell them she is a girl. What, is she going to lie to the world the rest of her life?"

"She will tell them, but let her figure out her own way."

"Then she won't do it, you know that."

"Why won't she do it? Because if it was reverse and you had to be changed, you would hide it."

"That's different, I am older."

"No, it's the same, let her go to the game, and let her be with her friends."

"She puts that on, then she is lying, and I won't be privy to a lie."

"What lie?, there are girls on the team to."

"That's not the same."

"Am I missing something, why?"

"Because you know she won't be acting like a lady, she will be acting like a boy and being called John again."

"You are really living in a world of your own, do you know that? Acting like a lady or a boy, she is only nine."

"Well, if you want to take her and lie to everyone, then you go ahead, I will not be going with you."

* * * * *

Emily buried her head under her pillow, holding it tight against her ears, trying to block out the sound of her parents fighting. They didn't fight much, but when they did Emily hated it. "They're fighting and it's all my fault. Make it stop, please, make it stop." Emily cried as she tried to block out the noise. Finally it died down, it seemed like an eternity. Her door swung open, the noise of it crashing into the closet startled her.

"Mom?"

"Here, here is your uniform. I hope you're happy." Mom threw the uniform on the floor with force.

"Mom, I won't go, okay, I won't even be mad."

"No, it's too late for that, your dad will take you and you do what you want. But if you let people think you are something you aren't then you are a liar, I hope I didn't raise a liar." She closed the door hard as she left.

Emily picked up the uniform from the floor. She hung it on the door.

"All I use to think about was putting this on and being happy, now it's making me so sad. Stupid uniform. I guess I wont ever be a Yankee now."

A small knock came at the door.

"Come in dad." Emily said softly.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Well the way Mom left, I didn't think if she wanted back in she would have knocked."

"She'll get over it, she went in the bedroom for a nap."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Making you and Mom fight."

"Honey, you didn't make us fight, we fought on our own, we just are seeing things differently, that's all, we still love each other and we both still love you."

"Well, she isn't showing it well."

"Remember, it's been hard on her, she's having issues herself."

"Is she mad at me?"

"No, she is more mad that she can't fix things for you."

"Huh?"

"Well, if you scrapped your knee, you know how she would kiss it to make it better and make you something special. Or, like when you are sick she would wait on you hand and foot?"

"Yeah."

"Well, she can't do that for you now, she can't do anything to make things easy, we know this is difficult for you and for a while it's going to be."

"Well, I guess I can understand. She isn't making it not be hard."

"We will all make sense of it soon, honey. Together as a family, we will find away. Right now it's just going through the change that is causing a little pain."

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Please hold me, make me feel safe."

"Oh, honey." John opened his arms and caught his little girl as she leapt into them. She put her head to his chest and through her arms around his neck. John sat down at the windowed bench,

"It'll be okay, baby."

"I know," Emily whimpered, "but right now I just need to be held."

"Need?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You were never like this before?"

"I know, but it feels right."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it. Just stay there, baby, as long as you need, I will always be here for you."

Emily didn't respond, she just cuddled closer to her father. She placed one hand on her cheek and rested against his chest. She placed her free hand, palm down on the rest of her father's chest. His right arm wrapped around her shoulder while his left wrapped around to her hip. He gently rocked his daughter.

"Hush now, don't you cry," he began to sing. "Wipe away tear drops from your eye. I'm lying here safe in bed, it was all just bad dreams spinning in your head."

John marveled as he looked down upon his girl as her countenance changed. The worry and fear and pain had left her face. She looked peaceful and calm and blissful. He could almost feel the warmth that filled the child. She was once again safe, once again in the fortress that was her daddy's arms. John felt her as she took a deeper breath, the warm air of her exhale cause the hairs of his hand to tingle. His baby was asleep.

"This has not happened in so long, little one." He thought to himself.
"Do you know how special you are, do you know how special you make me feel? Maybe this happened for a reason, precious. Maybe all that pain we all had to go through was to lead to this reward. I hope it is worth it for you, I wouldn't trade it in for all the money in the world. You were a great son, I won't take that away from you, but as my little girl, I love you all the more. You would never be like this as my son, we wouldn't let you would we?

"Having to hide behind the false male facade, but this is the real you, isn't it? I love you for that, and I apologize that I didn't get to know it sooner. As my little girl, you are perfect, do you know that? You don't even have to try to be like this, you are an angel. The accident that almost took you away from me, brought me to find the real you."

John stood up and placed his girl on the bed. He gently lifted off her shirt, placed it on the night stand gently. He then reached under her, finding the zipper, and slid the skirt down her legs. He took a second to look down at his little girl, pink and perfect. He found a sheet in the closet and gently placed it over her. He bent over and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep well, little one." John stood at the door and watched as Emily slept.

Emily found a stuffed bear in her sleep and hugged on it. Her thumb found her way to her mouth. John thought that this was the most beautiful sight in the world. It was a long time since this being had sucked its thumb. It made her look less like nine and more like three.

"If she could start that young again, this would be easier." He thought.
"Too bad, she is still perfect. If Vivian could see this side of her maybe she wouldn't worry. Emily is adapting to being a girl, quicker then I would of thought or hoped. She just wants it to happen magically."

John went down to get the couch ready for himself. He knew that he was destined for this punishment tonight. His daughter slept in one room and his wife slept in another just a few feet away, but they were worlds apart, at least for the moment

* * * * *

It was around eight in the morning, John's back was sore from the uncomfortably too small couch. He went to the bathroom and did his morning ritual of shaving and washing up in the child's bathroom. He then went to his room and sat next to his wife.

"I'm sorry" Vivian said.

"I know, I'm sorry we had to fight."

"I don't know what comes over me sometimes, she's hating me now, isn't she?"

"No, not at all."

"If I was in her shoes, I'd be hating my mom." Vivian crinkled her nose trying to look cute for her husband.

"She is just worried about the fighting yesterday, she'll be fine I think."

"I need to make it up to her, maybe if I got her something special, like a TV and VCR?"

"Maybe saying your sorry would be better?"

"Maybe, I'll have a chat with her when she gets home."

"That will be good. I better get her up so she can get ready."

"Tell her that I love her, okay?"

"I already did."

"Well, tell her again."

"Okay, I will"

John wanted to ask his wife to come, but he knew she was stubborn after a fight, even if she did admit she was wrong in her own way. That, and being eight months pregnant she was more self conscious about being out in front of people. The aluminum benches at the park were no help either.

John walked down the hall, slowly opened the door that led to his daughters room. He stood there and watched her sleep. Somewhere in the night she had lost the sheet that covered her. Her little pink panties were the only thing that kept her from being naked. "Maybe she wanted to lose them too," John thought, "or maybe that's just for guests." John chuckled. He walked over to the bed, gently placed his hand on his daughter's back and shook her softly.

"Come on honey, time to get up, time to get ready."

Emily stirred and rolled over slowly. She fluttered her eyes at her father.

"Morning, sunshine." John said.

"Morning, Daddy." Emily sat up and held out her arms towards her father. He bent down and gave her a hug.

"What a nice reward for waking someone up."

"It's a nice way to wake up, too." Emily giggled and gave her father a kiss. She hopped out of bed and took the uniform shirt off the hanger.

"So not afraid of me seeing you in your panties?"

"Dad!"

"Well you were shy yesterday, what changed?"

"Well, you're my daddy, and Jessie isn't here with me."

John chuckled. "Oh, so your going to prance in your panties in front of me when your friends aren't here."

"Yes," Emily laughed, "unless you don't want me to."

"No, go right ahead."

Emily skipped around the room a little, John smiled at her. He gave her a small swat on the backside. "Get ready or we won't have time for breakfast.

"Okay, I was only teasing with you."

"And what a tease you are." John said while glancing at his daughter's naked behind while she took off her panties. This amazed him. His son wouldn't be caught dead being seen naked, now as his daughter she is more free. He didn't even mind, in the past he might have, lately he had been less stringent. "She does have a nice little tush after all," John thought to himself. He felt it was a shame it had to be covered as Emily pulled up a fresh pair of panties.

Emily then put the jersey on, placing each hand in through the arms and then buttoning the front. All the while her dad looked on. She kind of enjoyed having him there. It gave her no sexual pleasure that her dad was looking on, in fact sex never did enter her mind. She was allowed to be vulnerable with her father, and being naked in front of him was less vulnerable than she was the night before. She felt a joy in her stomach that she felt safe in his presence, that was why she didn't ask him to leave.

"You look real pretty like that." John said staring at his little girl. The top just did cover her panties and he thought it was cute as all get out. "You should go just like that" he teased.

"Daddy!" she blushed as she pulled on the pants. She carefully buttoned them, trying to avoid her scar. She tucked her hair under her cap and put on an old pair of sneakers.

"How's this?"

John was at a loss for words. He thought when Emily got dressed in the uniform that his son would return. But that did not happen, on the contrary, it was the opposite. She looked as cute as the other girls on the team did. Her face was softer and her being seemed much softer.

"Well?" Emily demanded.

"You look fine, sweetie. Come here." John didn't want to tell her that she looked like a girl. He knew that if Emily thought she couldn't hide the fact that she wouldn't go or that she would worry the whole time.

Emily walked over to her father, thinking he was going to adjust something on the uniform. Instead he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her butt closer to him. He gave her a soft kiss on the lips and she returned it. "There is nothing like a child's kiss, so innocent and so pure." John thought.

"Okay, lets go." John told his girl.

"What about breakfast?"

"We'll stop on the way."

Emily got to the car, and felt nervous about getting in. Her dad opened the door for her. "Remember, you're safe with me," he reassured. Emily got in and buckled herself up. "I am safe with him, aren't I?" she smiled inwardly.

Her dad got in the opposite side, buckled himself up and started the car. He took his daughter's hand and squeezed it slightly. She smiled at him, with those beautiful hazel eyes starring back at him. He put the car into gear and they drove off.

On the way to the park they stopped at a drive through. They ate their meal while parked in the parking lot. They chatted about nonsense things mostly.

"Now, Emily," John said "If you want to tell them about you being a girl you go right ahead, but if you don't then you don't have to. Go at your own speed."

"Thanks, Dad. I don't think I will today, I'm just seeing them again for the first time and I don't think a baseball field is right."

"That's okay sweetie, should I go back to calling you John, just for today.

"No, call me sweetie, I like that. This way the guys don't have to know and we don't have to lie."

"Okay, sweetie," John agreed, figuring that she must have heard some of the argument and wanted to avoid making her mother upset.

"Let's move out." John said as they started towards the park.

The pair pulled into the parking lot, the rest of the team was already there. Kids were seen putting on cleats and getting their equipment ready. Emily took a deep breath, butterflies filled her stomach.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah, a little I guess."

"Don't worry you'll be fine, just be yourself."

"That's what I'm worried about." Emily said as she gathered all her strength, opened the door and stood outside the door. Her father walked to the front of the car and waited for his daughter to meet him there. They walked towards the gate that led to the field, his hand resting lightly on her back, giving her support and urging her forward all at the same time.

Her team finally saw her and their faces lit up.

"Hey it's John," one of them yelled.

She lightly jogged over to them. "Hey, heard you guys were winning without me."

They all laughed and each said hi and sorry that they couldn't visit her in the hospital.

"Cool scar." One said. Pointing to the barely visible mark that showed under her cap.

"That had to hurt, John."

"To bad it didn't happen during school, then you'd be getting a real break."

"Yeah, that sucks, it cut into your summer vacation."

All the kids surrounded her and the feeling was light. The business at hand took over and the kids got to the field to warm up.

"John, going to warm up?"

"No, the princess can't play today," the coach said.

Emily was shocked, and angry. The boy that asked didn't even hear the comment, but Emily did, and she was mad. She glared at Sean, "That finker, he ratted me out."

"Come on, princess," the coach said, "wait on the bench and enjoy the game."

Emily looked at him for a second, then walked over to the bench. She sat there, kicked her feat in the dirt some and glared at Sean some more.

The team was finally done warming up. David, who had the opportunity to play the whole game since Emily was no longer participating, went over to the coach.

"Coach," David addressed the lanky, golden haired leader, "Am I going to have to split time again, now that John is here."

"Nah, the princess can't play, so you keep up the good work."

"Can't he quit that," Emily thought, "that four-eyed moron."

Sean came into the caged dugout and sat down next to Emily. "Hey, what's up?"

"Don't talk to me."

"What, why?"

"You know why?"

"No, I don't, tell me."

"Don't play dumb with me, Sean, you know good and well what you told people."

"You're loopy."

"Sure, throw insults at me, too. Just go away." Emily turned her back to Sean.

Sean looked dumb founded, not knowing what she was referring to. "It's been a couple of days," he thought, "maybe he is mad that I didn't join the swarm when he got here."

"Hey, John."

"What?" Emily snapped.

"Are you mad because I didn't swarm you like the others?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"You told them about my shirt, the one in the hospital I was wearing, and don't you try to hide it either."

Emily got up and walked to the stands to sit next to her dad. Sean just looked dumbfounded. He didn't tell anyone about the shirt. The fact was that after he left, he forgot all about the nighty until reminded of it just then.

"Something wrong, sweetie?" Dad asked.

"No, just Sean bothering me."

"I thought he was your friend?"

"Me too."

"Anything serious?"

"Nah, I'll get over it." Emily squinted her nose, looking just like her mother.

"Okay, well I think you should go and sit in the dugout like you are supposed."

"Okay, Dad." Emily said as she made her way back to her team. She just needed a little break, she just didn't want to continue the conversation with Sean. "He probably just let it slip out or something," Emily thought. "And no one said anything but the coach, maybe I should just let it slide."

"Hey princess, did daddy give you a shoulder to cry on?" The coach said as he passed by.

Emily growled, she want to punch him right in the face. She knew that wouldn't do any good. She decided to sit at the furthest end of the bench, it didn't leave much of the view for the game, but it kept her away from the coach and his comments.

"And, to think, I use to think he was cool, he's being such a jerk, both him and Sean are both idiots," Emily fumed. She just sat there and watched as much of the game as she could. She wasn't the only girl on the team, there were two others. She didn't talk to them any more than the others, right now she felt isolated.

"Maybe I should try and get to know Becky and Rachael better," Emily thought as she watched the girls standing on the field. One played second base and the other was playing right field. "I mean, they are nice and they like sports, just like I do. Plus we are all girls now. Maybe its like how it is with boys, you must all stick together. That's the way it is at school, at least. Right now though, I won‘t try to be more friends with Becky and Rachael, people might think something and with this moron coach and his princess every time he speaks to me."

The game went on, the team lost. Emily wasn't as sad as usual that they had lost, but was still sad. She lined up behind her team mates and shook the hands of the other team. This was the first time she ever made it through a game without getting her uniform just a little dirty. She was temped to throw some dirt on herself, just to keep the streak alive.

The team was going to go to Chuck E. Cheese, for a post game celebration.

"Why don't you come with us?" Sean asked.

"Nah, I think I'm just going to go home with my dad."

"But it's always fun, John, we can play the games and put our tickets together, I'll even let you have them all."

"No, it's okay. I'm a bit tired."

"You still mad at me?"

"Just a little bit, but that's not why I'm not going."

"Well, I didn't tell any one, but even if I did by mistake, I'm sorry, okay?"

"It's okay. I'll let it go, but I'm going to go home."

"Okay, see you at the awards banquet."

"Yeah, it's in two days, right"

"Yeah, wear your uniform, I'm going to and a lot of the other guys will to."

"You bet, see you."

Emily walked to her dad, who was waiting next to the car. He opened the door for her and closed it behind her. He got in and the other side and they pulled away.

"Enjoy that you came today, sweetie?"

"Yeah," Emily said silently.

"Well, I hardly saw you, you were sitting so far away from everyone."

"I guess."

"Anything wrong?"

"No, just wanted to see everyone."

"A little too much too soon maybe?"

"Maybe."

The conversation trailed off then and they drove a bit in silence.

"Can I go to the awards banquet Monday?" Emily asked.

"Sure you can, honey."

"Good, today was a little weird."

"Why?"

"People were calling me John again and it was just kind of strange."

"Well maybe you were starting to get use to your new name."

"Yea, I like Emily, it fits my body at least."

"Yes," Dad chuckled, "It fits the rest of you too."

"Maybe. It's just weird, I wanted to tell them I was Emily, I really did. It just didn't come up. I don't know how."

"Well you could go to the banquet in a dress and they would see." Dad teased.

"Ah, no," Emily laughed.

"Well you are going to have to tell them."

"I know, but not while dealing with sports stuff."

"I have an Idea."

"What?"

"How about next week we have a party. This way you can prepare, and plan everything and it will be at home, so you can feel safe."

"Yeah, that would be good, I guess."

"Well we can make invitations, just saying you got big news, and the parents can come, this way we know everyone will behave."

"Yes, that sounds good, and we can have a big cake and stuff."

"Yes, it will be a very lovely party. We can get you a party dress too." Dad teased.

Emily blushed, but didn't answer back.

"No objections to getting a party dress?"

"No."

"Really, you would let us get you a big frilly dress and all that?"

"Yes, it would be a good way for people to know that I am serious, and they are real pretty. Can I pick it out?"

"Sure, your mom would be so pleased."

"So would I," Emily giggled.

Before they knew it they were home again. Dad opened the door for his daughter and she got out.

"You know what, I think when you get in you should tell Mom our idea."

"I guess."

"She will be very happy, trust me."

"Okay, Daddy."

They went into the house, John called to find out where his wife was. She was in the living room folding some clothes. Both father and child went in to greet her.

"You two have fun?" she asked.

"It was okay, Mom." Emily replied.

"Do your friends know about you yet?"

"No."

Mom frowned a bit, "I guess I expected too much."

"Dear, we came up with a compromise that I think you will agree is a good plan."

"Now, really?" Mom asked sarcastically.

"Tell her, honey." John prodded his daughter.

"Dad and I thought we could throw a party, and tell everyone then. We can make it real nice and stuff."

"And when would this party be?"

"Next week Dad said."

"You promise you will tell everyone at the party?"

"Yeah, that will be the whole reason for the party."

"She even agreed to wear a party dress, I thought you two could have fun picking one out," Dad chimed in.

"Really." Mom's face lit up. "You sure about this?"

"Yes, Mom, I think it would be real good and I can look nice and people would know I didn't make nothing up."

"Come here, baby."

Emily went by her mother and received a hug and kiss. Hugs were a little difficult these days for Mom because she was really showing.

"See, she is coming around." John told his wife.

"Dad, what happened to all my toys," Emily said while changing the subject, "all I have is the dolls that Jessie left."

"They are in the toy box where they belong."

"What toy box?" Emily asked.

"Go upstairs and I will show you."

Emily ran up the stairs and waited in her room. John was about to go upstairs when his wife stopped him.

"Dear," Vivian started, "I thought we agreed to put that nonsense in storage."

"No, we didn't, we just agreed on clothes."

"We said all of the belongings that were masculine."

"I didn't think you wanted to take away toys as well, just let her have fun as she needs."

Vivian rolled her eyes.

"Look, she is going to have this party, and dress in a party dress, I think that says a lot of how she is excepting her fate. Let her be on this one."

"I suppose there is no use in arguing the point. But, we are going to be picking out a very pretty dress."

"I think she wants that." John said as he headed upstairs.

"Looks like my little plan with the coach paid off," Vivian chuckled within.

John got to his daughter's room and opened the door. He assumed that since she was expecting him, that he didn't need to knock. When he got in however, she had already removed the baseball slacks and was working on the jersey.

"Oops I should have knocked." John said to ease any embarrassment.

"Its okay, I just wanted to get something else on."

"Want me to go?"

"No, you can come in."

Dad closed the door behind him. His little girl removed the jersey completely.

"Now I can prance around some more." Emily giggled as she skipped around her father.

"Let me show you your toy box." John said walking over to the windowed bench. "See the seat lifts up." He demonstrated the fact.

Emily walked over and saw all her old toys, cars and action figures and guns. "Cool, Daddy." She said while giving him a kiss.

"Emily?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"You are beautiful, do you know that?"

"No, I'm not," she blushed and turned away.

"Honest, you are, even when you were in your uniform."

"For real?"

"Come here."

Emily went by her dad and he put her in front of the mirror. "Look at those pretty eyes and that pretty smile."

Emily blushed all the more.

"Look at those rosy cheeks and those dimples. You're good enough to eat."

"Daddy," Emily giggled. Emily wasn't use to this kind of treatment from her dad but she liked it. His big hands rested on her small hips.

"You are very brave, little girl, for what you did today, it's hard to keep a secret like that."

"Yeah, but I need to tell them, I don't even think I can tell them everything."

"Maybe you should just do this." John said as he slid his girl's panties down her legs.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed, "I can't let them see me like this."

John was shocked that she made no attempt to grasp for her panties. In fact she stepped completely out of them.

"And besides, it's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?"

"Um, at times I really like being a girl, it's like the best thing in the world?"

"And at other times?" John probed.

"It's the worst," Emily finished the sentence.

"What time is it now?"

"It's the best of the best."

"Oh, why?"

"Cause I get to be daddy's girl," Emily said while she turned around. John now could see her cunny straight on and not looking in the mirror. He marveled at the job the doctor had done. His hand slid off the child's hip and cupped her soft, pink, heart shaped ass. He pulled her into him. Her warm flesh rubbed against him. Her lips looked so inviting, as did the rest of her.

"Honey, go on and play, we will call you for dinner, okay."

"Yes, Daddy." She gave him a peck on the lips.

John watched her as she walked towards her dresser. "She's too cute." Emily pulled her undies back on. She put on a pink cotton dress, the spaghetti straps barely held the loose top in place. John looked and could see a hint of nipple and laughed to himself, "I'm going to have a real heartbreaker if she ever realizes all she got going for her.

"See you later, honey."

"Bye, bye daddy." Emily said in a cutesy little kid voice.

John closed the door and headed down the hall to take a cold shower. Emily remained in her little world, and decided to go through the toy box.

---

Oh, a party, actually two if you count the awards banquet. If I told you what was planned it would reveal too much and simply ruin it all. So for those that like this story, hang in there. Oh, by the way an inch or so below this blurb is a comment button. Just pointing it out, you may have missed it.

by Little Katie

Chapter 7
A Little Play

By Little Katie

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This is part 7. It is rather short, in comparison . It is for a reason however. One, it sets something up that will appear later. Two, the action fell before something else that will happen and this made a good stopping point. Everyone have fun with this one, the next installment will have some more real world action.

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Emily took some of the cars out of the toy box. She thought that the toy box itself was very cool. You couldn't even tell it was built into the bench. She pulled out some action figures too and put them in another pile. Finally she pulled out two jet fighters and placed them on the floor as well. She remembered building the fighters from model kits, it took almost two weeks as she tried to do the very best job in the world; she pretty much succeeded too. She sat down on the carpet, the thick plush padded her tush and the fabric felt soft and warm on her legs. She started to play with the cars.

"Beep, beep." she clowned around. She found a Cadillac in her collection. "This is John, he's going to be a world famous baseball player, he is going to the ballpark to sign a multi-million dollar contract." Emily drove the car through some makeshift streets in the carpet.

She then grabbed a garbage truck from her collection. "This is Bob, he drives a truck for the city, he works very hard and he is very tired because he works another job at night." Emily made the garbage truck drive through different makeshift streets. "John and Bob are coming to the same intersection." Emily had the two toys coming close to each other, but moved them very slow, very deliberately. "'Oh good I have the green light' John says as he starts to go through the intersection."

Emily kept her scenario going. "Oh no!" Emily rose her voice, "Bob has dozed off behind the wheel of his truck." Emily slowly pushed the to garbage truck into the Cadillac . "Crash, oh no, John is hurt bad."

Emily searched through her toys and found a police car and an ambulance. "Woo-wee-woo-wee," Emily simulated the sounds of the sirens. She drove the emergency vehicles through the make shift streets and had them arrive at the scene of the accident.

"'Hurry, quick, John might not make it' the policeman tells the ambulance driver. 'Right away to the hospital.'" Emily still played on, as if in a trance, as if she wasn't in control of the toys and was watching a play transpire. "Woo-wee-woo-wee." Emily sounded as she pulled the ambulance as quick as she could. "Finally they are at the hospital."

Putting her hands to her cheeks, she said immediately, "Oh No! They were too late." Then she threw a small handkerchief over the ambulance. "Poor John died, they couldn't save him."

Emily stood back from her creation, the two vehicles lay on their sides in one area as the police cruiser looked on. In another area, a handkerchief covered a toy ambulance. Emily's lower lip began to quiver, "Poor John is dead." A tear fell down her cheek, it landed on her forearm.

"Stupid cars," she said as she kicked the ambulance. She picked up all her cars and threw them back into the toy chest. "And you guys stay in there until you can play and drive something nice," she warned them. She closed the lid and went back to the floor.

Emily wiped her eyes with her forearm. "What do we have here, we can play army attack," she said confidently. She split up the action figures into two different piles and each group was given one of the fighter jets. "This side is the U.S.A." she declared placing a small flag in the center of the group. "And these will be the evil terrorists." There she put a black flag that had a red skull on it.

Emily placed the groups to form two half-circles. She sat next to the terrorists group. She picked up one of the figures and made it "walk" to the dividing line. "'We shall take all your land and rape your women, mahahahahahaha.'" Emily grabbed another figure from the U.S.A side. "'No we will stop you.'" Emily clashed to two figures together.

For some reason at that moment, she looked up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She saw a beautiful little girl in the mirror, wearing a pink dress and smashing together two army figures. She looked down at her hands and noticed that she too was playing with the same figures. She looked back up and noticed the girl was still staring at her. She felt somewhat off to be playing such a game.

"Little girl," Emily addressed the mirror, "you don't look very happy playing with those boys' toys." She looked back down at what she had in her hands, "You know what, I'm not happy playing with my toys either, let's put them away, maybe they will be fun tomorrow." Emily reached down and gathered the rest of her army men and placed them into the toy chest.

She flew the two jets around the room, "Zoom!" she laughed. "I think I will keep these two out, maybe I can still be a pilot some day." Emily placed the two jets neatly on top of her dresser. "I guess I don't like playing with those toys anymore," Emily thought, "it just doesn't feel right, doesn't feel me." Emily went over to the mirror again.

"Little girl, why are you here? Why are you watching me? I don't remember you, and I don't remember asking you to come here. Why can't you go away? Why can't you let the little boy come back, sometimes I miss him so much. I guess you can't go away, can you? You are a cute little thing, your hair is very pretty and your dress is very pretty, even you little smile is very pretty. I just wish you asked before you came here, is that too much to ask for?"

Emily stared at the little girl in the mirror. They both made angry, hateful faces at each other. All of a sudden the little girl smiled and Emily smiled back. "Its okay, little girl, I can't stay mad at you to long, you're too cute." She kissed the little girl in the mirror.

"Silly, Emily thought.

She turned on her stereo, she still liked it very much. She turned through the stations, when she found one that played a soft little melody, no words, just music. The piano played on, and Emily moved her feet in small steps.

"Oh, Prince Charming," she play-acted, "I would love to have this dance." Emily closed her eyes and held out her hands to mimic a dance.

"Oh, I don't come to many balls, this is my first," Emily twirled and returned back to her original position.

"Marry you, become a princess? I don't know, we just met, what would the subjects think?"

"That you were beautiful." Dad answered as he watched from the doorway. Emily opened her eyes and spun to find him.

"Daddy," Emily protested as she blushed at being caught playing in such a way.

"May I have this dance," John said, holding out his hand, "or is that just for princes?"

Emily took his hand, "You're better then some dumb old prince any day. Daddy."

"Well, you are still my princess." John held her hand and placed his free hand on her lower back and pulled her close to him. "Shall we start?"

"A-huh." Her dad guided Emily around the room, periodically spinning and dipping her. She smiled and laughed, it was really fun for her.

The song on the radio stopped and so did her dad. "Thank you ever so much, princess, for this dance." He bent to one knee and kissed her hand.

"Thank you, Daddy," Emily threw her hands around his neck and hugged. He hugged back, pulling her closer.

"You are very sweet and beautiful." His hand slipped down to her buttocks and he gave a playful squeeze.

"Isn't that sweet," Vivian said as she came in. "I sent you to fetch her for dinner and you two are playing and hugging, your food is going to get cold."

"Sorry, hun, we had to get at least one dance in before the ball was over."

"It's okay, I think it's precious, I guess you were right, she is a real daddy's girl. But, chop-chop or the food will get cold and I need to get off my feet." Mom hurried them along.

"Yes, Mommy." Emily left the room in front of her parents.

"What do you think?" John asked his wife.

"If I didn't see it, I wouldn't have believed it."

"See, the doctor was right, kids are resilient and she's going to accept her new role."

"Well, we will see, she has her good days and bad. You said yourself, not to expect miracles, and we don't know what she does on her own."

"She'll be fine, I think she is starting to like being a girl."

"By the looks of it you're beginning to like her being a girl, too."

"Well, I must admit, when this first happened, I thought I would hate it. But, there is something about having a little girl, I can't put my finger on it."

"Oh, you're just a big softy for a pretty face."

"Yes, I am." John said as he leaned in and kissed his wife gently on the lips.

"Let's eat, I'm starved and so is the baby."

John helped his wife down the stairs and the family ate together. Emily was very polite and seemed at ease with herself and her family.

"Mom, this chicken is very good tonight." Emily complimented.

"Thank you, sweetie, maybe soon I can teach you about cooking."

"Really? Cool."

"Yes, we will have a lot of fun with it, it will have to wait until after the baby is here, though. Not enough room." Mom laughed.

"Mom, tomorrow can we go pick out the dress for my party."

"So soon?"

"Well I thought it would be nice to look at it and get used to it before the party."

"It will have to wait till Wednesday , I think your dad could take us after work then. Think so, dear?"

"You bet, I'd never miss a chance to spend time with the two most beautiful girls in the world."

Emily blushed.

"Still not use to the compliments are you?" Mom asked.

"I don't know, they are different."

"Well, you will be getting a lot, you are very pretty, oh and in a cute little dress with all the frills and trim. You would be to die for."

Emily sat back and smiled.

"I think we will also need a stick for her." Dad said.

"A stick?" Emily questioned.

"Yes, to fight off all the boys."

"Daddy!" Emily blushed.

The meal over, the family decided to move the evening into the den. Emily cleared off the table, rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. She entered the den to find her mother and father sitting on the loveseat. Her mom patted her lap, "Gently" she cautioned. Emily slowly climbed onto her mother's lap and put her head on her mother's chest. Vivian combed through the child's hair with her fingers.

"I guess this happening to you wasn't all bad." Mom pointed out.

"No, maybe not, I wouldn't wish that this thing would happen though." Emily said.

"I know, baby, I know. But your dad and I are very proud of how you are handling everything."

"I guess, sometimes it's real easy and sometimes it's real hard."

"Well, it's still new, you will see as time goes on, the harder parts will be few and far between."

"I hope."

"I know, baby."

Emily rested and got cuddled by her mother. She felt warm and cozy where she was. Her dad gently rubbed her calf.

"Well, I am tired, you two." Mom announced. "Can't wait till this one comes out, maybe I will have more energy." Mom patted her belly.

Emily slowly climbed down and helped her mother to her feet.

"Thanks, sweetie, make sure she doesn't stay up to late, you." Vivian addressed her husband. Vivian vanished slowly up the stairs.

"It's just us, princess. What do you want to do? We can play a game or watch TV or whatever you like. But I think we should spend time together."

"We can just cuddle and talk." Emily said sheepishly.

"Sure, come here."

Emily hoped on her father's lap. His big hands wrapped around her body, making her feel safe. Emily smiled at him as he smiled back.

"You really like this, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Good, I like doing it for you."

Emily felt her dad's hand rub her back and then move to her leg. He gently messaged her lower outer thigh.

"You know what," Emily broke the silence, "if the accident never happened, then this would have never happened, either."

"I guess not, sweetie."

"I don't know about the rest, but I'm glad about this." Emily reached up and pecked her dad on the lips gently.

"Yes, this is a good thing, I love you, and now I'm getting to show it more openly, I don't think that would have happened if this mess hadn't occurred."

"Yes, so maybe sometimes I'm very happy I'm a girl, now."

"Me too." Her dads hand moved a little higher and he playfully pinched and squeezed her buttocks.

"Ouch," Emily said softly and then laughed.

"Sorry, its just so pinchable, I can't resist."

"It's okay."

"I guess so, you aren't moving away."

Emily wiggled her butt in her fathers hand, they both laughed.

"Okay, you little scamp," her dad said, "it's getting late, time for a bath."

"Okay, Daddy." Emily went up stairs and drew her bath.

A few seconds after the water stopped there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Emily called out.

Her dad entered. "I brought you a soft wash cloth, be careful with your wounds."

"Thanks, Dad, I will" Emily replied as she pulled her dress off and placed it on a nearby hook.

"We also have to put some ointment on, you want to do it or me."

"You can, Daddy", Emily smiled slightly and pulled down her panties, the scar still looked a bit red.

John watched his daughter as she entered the bath, "You're too cute, you know that?"

Emily blushed and began soaping up. Her dad laid a towel on the floor in front of the tub. "Make sure you use that and call me when you are ready for the ointment." John said and then left Emily to her privacy.

Emily washed up. She enjoyed the bath, the warm water felt good against her pink skin. It felt especially nice on her vagina. She sat there for awhile, after her washing was done, and just enjoyed the warm feeing.

She got out of the tub and stepped onto the towel her dad left for her. She gently dried off and wrapped a towel around her head. She knew that her dad would be applying the ointment to her wound so she just wrapped a second towel around her waist. She had seen her mom do this a thousand times, and with slight difficulty she got the towel to stay on. She entered the hallway and searched for her dad.

Dad was sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper.

"Dad, I'm ready."

"Okay, why don't we do this right here, hop up on the table."

Emily walked over next to her dad and he helped her get onto the table.

"Lay back, honey."

Emily laid on her back, her dad unwrapped her towel. She laid there, exposed to the world. The air felt cool against her moist skin, causing goose pimples. Her dad parted her legs ever so slightly, revealing the complete scar that ran from the top of her groin to the beginning of her girlishness.

"This won't hurt a bit."

"I know," Emily said softly.

Her father put some of the ointment onto his fingers. Slowly and gently he applied it to the scar. Emily's legs and butt tensed up, anticipating that the pain and humiliation would soon began. Her father went back and forth, and then in little circles softly. Emily murmured slightly. This did not feel the same as when the doctor had touched her. She felt safe, and loved. Her muscles relaxed and she realize that it didn't feel all that bad being touched by her father. She made a little noise.

"You okay, honey?"

Emily blushed a little, "Yes, Daddy." Emily wasn't moaning in pain, but delight.

"There you go, all done."

Emily just lay there, her legs still parted and relaxed, unsure of what exactly she was feeling.

"You sure you are okay?"

"Yes, just thinking."

"Don't think too hard," her dad said patting her leg.

Emily laughed, her smile shining with innocence.

"You're too cute. Do you know what we do with girls that are too cute?"

Emily adjusted herself and propped herself on her elbows. "No, what?"

"We gobble them up." Her dad grabbed behind her hips and pulled her butt to the end of the table. He lowered his head and started to slobber on her stomach.

Emily laughed like crazy, flailing her arms and legs.

"Oh, so tasty." Her father blew against her stomach some more. He then kissed her belly. Emily laughed some more. "You're such a cutie."

Emily smiled, liking the attention and the feelings of love. She heard her laughter fill the air, and the feeling of her dad's lips on her stomach excited her. She felt unsure what to do and simply enjoyed the moment.

"Okay, time to get ready for bed." Dad said while lifting his head off of Emily's belly.

Emily sat up. "Bed?" she asked.

"Yeah, its getting late and I have to get up for work.

"Oh, okay, but we was having so much fun."

"Well, there'll be other days and we can have more fun on other days."

"Okay," Emily frowned, thinking how much she liked the time with her father. She had visions of more happening, but it just ended, she wondered if she did something to make her father stop. Maybe she enjoyed it too much, or maybe it was starting to be like what she did with Jessie.

"Want me to take you and tuck you in?" Her dad broke her train of thought.

"Yeah," Emily smiled while forgetting her previous concern.

"You going to sleep like that?"

"Yep," Emily laughed.

John picked up his daughter from the table. He kept one hand on her back and the other on her ass. They walked up the stairs and into her room. He gently placed her on her bed.

"Honey, you are beautiful, you know."

"You keep saying that."

"Yes, and I'm hoping someday you will realize that for yourself."

"I just might," Emily smiled. Her dad gave her a peck on the lips. She felt his eyes as they looked over her body, or at least she thought he was. She laid thefd submissively as her dad covered her with a sheer, pink sheet.

"Sleep well, honey."

"Night, Daddy, I love you."

"I love you, too."

Emily lay there in bed, feeling the night air gently blow against the sheet. "I can't believe I did that," she thought. "Dad hasn't seen me naked since I was like 3 and that was by accident I think. Now we were playing while I was naked, how I changed." Emily replayed the memory in her head for a second. She smiled as she pictured her dad touching her wound gently and slobbering on her belly. "Jessie was right, Dad is cool." She felt a sensation between her legs,

"Oh my." Emily quickly removed her hand from her crotch, she didn't realize she had been feeling herself up. Guilt and shame filled her body, she covered her head with the sheet. "I can't believe I did that while thinking about my dad." She tried to chase the images from her head. She rolled over and buried her head into the pillow. "If Mom knew what I was thinking and doing she would tan my hide something fierce," was Emily's last thought before falling asleep.

---

Once again I hope you all enjoy reading. I tell you though, I had been a bit discouraged about the lack of comments and feedback, but it has been getting better. If you didn't know, I'm a feedback queen. I am enjoying the development of this story, little Emily is trying to cope, sometimes she does real good, and sometimes she struggles, don't we all?

by Little Katie

Chapter 8
The Final Out

---

This is my longest chapter by far, and also the most difficult to write.

---

 
Monday finally arrived, the weekend had sounded its last note. Emily watched television in the den as her mother sat crocheting some booties.

"Mom, do we have enough pairs?" Emily said making half a joke out of it; her mom had finally got the hang of it and was making real progress.

"Probably, but I just feel the need to be ready."

"Me too," Emily replied.

"Really, why?"

"Well, I spent most this time gearing up to be a big brother, now I guess I have to gear up to be a big sister," Emily said somberly.

"I think you will just do fine."

"I guess."

"Quit guessing," Mom corrected.

"Well, I think I'll be doing stuff that I wasn't planning on doing."

"Like what?"

"Baby sitting, changing him, helping you feed him."

"Oh, you weren't going to do that before."

"Heck no, I figured I didn't have to."

"Do you think you 'have' to now?" Mom emphasized.

"I kind of want to." Emily smiled slightly. Her mom beckoned her over. She went and stood by the side of the chair.

"You're a sweetie." Vivian said as she rubbed her daughter's head.

"Sometimes."

"Yes, true, sometimes." Mom teased. "We have a little while before Dad comes home and you two have to head to the banquet, want to learn something?"

"Yeah, sure." Emily said excitedly.

"Go upstairs and get the doll on the bed and bring down the diaper bag."

Emily ran upstairs as quick as her little legs could take her. She found the items that her mom requested. She came back down to the den and saw her mom waiting.

"Okay, Emily, lay the doll on the floor."

Emily, treating the doll as if it was an actual living being, gently placed the doll on the floor. She was very careful of the head, wanting to show mom that she was capable of doing this.

"Good job, now pull the two snaps in front apart and move them out of the way."

Emily found the two snaps, a bit of material concealed them from ordinary view. She fumbled a little trying to get them off, but with a little work they did separate. She pulled the onsie apart revealing a small disposable diaper.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Emily looked back and smiled at her mother. "No, just the snaps are so little."

"You'll get used to it. Now, find the little plastic tabs and pull them apart."

The tape part was clearly visible, Emily pulled it apart, using a little care. She was enjoying herself, she didn't realize playing such a game could be fun. "Too think, soon I will be doing this for real," she thought.

"Okay, good job," Mom praised, making Emily feel proud inside. "Now pull down the top part of the diaper, air it out." Mom laughed.

Emily did just as her mom had said. She noticed, to her surprise, the doll looked like a boy.

"Hey, it's got a pee-pee."

"It's called anatomically correct."

"It's cute."

"Hush that talk, or I'll crack you, are you going to think that way 'if' you change your brother."

"No, ma'am, I'm sorry, it just surprised me."

"Okay then, if we can have no more of that we can continue."

"Yes, Mommy."

"Yes, Mommy," Vivian mimicked. "Now grab both legs and gently lift him in the air."

Emily followed with the utmost care, trying to overcome her previous error. She had the baby's bottom in the air. Her mom instructed her to remove the diaper and she did that as well.

"Now, get a baby wipe," Mom continued to instruct, "Wipe down there very good, if not the baby can get a rash and then we will be up all night."

Emily washed the baby's bottom. Getting both the butt and penis. Her mom looked on, making sure she didn't focus on one spot a bit too long.

"Good girl."

Emily paused slightly. She had never heard that compliment before, but she didn't mind it.

"Now," Mom continued, "Place a clean diaper under the baby, make sure that you spread it out before hand."

Emily lifted the baby's bottom up, using the same method as before. Using her free hand she slid a diaper under the doll, spread out the tabs and lowered the doll again.

"O.K, now put the front back up and then tape it snuggly."

Emily did just that, covering the doll's middle and then taping the diaper into place. The job she did was admirable, especially for a first timer.

"Wow, you are a natural." Mom congratulated.

"Thanks."

"Too bad you can't have any of your own." Her mom said callously.

Emily looked down at the doll, admiring her work. "Yeah, too bad," She said sadly to herself.

"Okay, take everything upstairs and get ready for the banquet."

"Yes, Mom." Emily walked slowly up the stairs, feeling somewhat dejected by what her mom had said. She held the doll, as if it were a real baby, the diaper bag slung over her back.

"Good, she is upset about going to this stupid thing and pretending to be John." Her mom thought to herself. "She knows she is happier living the truth, this should be the end of those charades though."

Emily placed the supplies back on her mom's bed and shuffled her feet back to her room. She closed the door behind her gently, gathering herself. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. "I guess I won't ever have kids now," she thought.

She saw the pretty girl staring back at her in the mirror. "You want to have a baby when you grow up don't you?" The girl in the mirror nodded. "You would be a good mommy too, won't you?" Again the girl in the mirror nodded. "Well too bad, you don't exist." Emily pulled off her yellow dress and threw it across the room, it landed in a heap on the windowed bench. She hastened to get her uniform. Without looking in the mirror, nor caring to, she buttoned up the jersey and threw on her pants. She found her old pair of tennis shoes and put them on as well. "This will get rid of that silly girl," Emily said to herself. She turned and faced the mirror.

"Ack, what are you still doing here?" She looked and saw the little girl in John's baseball uniform.

"Go away, you're not wanted here." Emily walked up and hit the mirror. Luckily, it didn't break. The girl just looked angrily back at her. "I'll get you." Emily mussed up her hair, pushing the bangs to the back, making it look as boyish as possible. Then she put on her baseball cap.

"See, I'm a boy." she told the girl in the mirror. "Now, go away."

Emily turned and went to her dresser. She took the two fighter planes down and started racing around the room. She enacted a marvelous dog-fight. There were barrel rolls and loop-the-loops. "Rat-tat-tat-tat." Emily cried out, simulating machine gun fire. "Evasive maneuvers," she yelled, causing the lead plane to make a sharp bank. "Switching to heat seeking missiles"

The door opened up, her mom stood in the entrance way. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Playing," Emily said as she paused.

"Look at that foolishness that you have in your hands."

"These are my planes, I like them."

"Those are not appropriate toys for a young lady, wouldn't you rather play with the doll some more?"

"No! I'm not a young lady, I'm a boy." Emily yelled out.

"No, Emily, you were a boy. Now, you are not."

"I'm not Emily, my name is John." He yelled back.

Emily didn't see the hand that came at her until it was too late. Her face stung from the smack that her mother gave her, she could feel her cheek already getting red. "Enough, another word out of you and you won't go tonight, you understand, young lady?" Mom scolded her, emphasizing the word lady.

Emily nodded, she knew that when her mom made a threat, that if you took her up on it, she would follow through.

"Now, go downstairs, your father's waiting. Remember to hand out the invitations to your party tonight. We are going to be making a lot of arrangements and it would be a pity if no one showed."

Emily nodded once more.

"Now go, and be a good little girl at the party." Her mother rubbed it in some more.

Emily huffed out of the room and down the stairs.

"That girl's got to learn her place in this world, she's got to be taught a lesson." Her mother said to herself.

At the front door John waited for his little girl. He saw her huff down the stairs.

"There's my princess, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, okay." Emily said as she got closer.

"What's this on your face?"

"Mom hit me."

John looked up the stairs, debating with himself if he should have a word with his wife. He decided that it would be better if he let things cool off.

Emily walked out to the car and let herself in, slamming the door behind her. John who was going to open the door for her, walked around the car and got in.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it Emily?"

"No," Emily made a growling sound, "Can we just go."

"Yes, we can, but can I ask you something?"

"It's not like I can stop you?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." Emily said, pouting and looking straight forward
out the window.

"Oh, I could almost be sure that you were really mad at me."

"Why?"

"Because you certainly are taking your anger out on me, so I figured I must have done something really bad to you."

"No, Dad you didn't," Emily calmed down. "I'm sorry, it's just mom, she makes me so mad sometimes."

"What happened? Let's talk about it now, deal with it now, and then we can enjoy the rest of the evening. If not, it will just eat away at you, and you'll stay mad, and you might miss out on some real fun."

The logic appealed to Emily, now that it had been explained to her calmly. "It's just Mom, she's got to say this is for girls and this is for boys, and you aren't a boy anymore and you can't do boy things. It's not like I can do everything every girl can do either. Then she calls me Emily in such a voice, makes me feel mad, then I said 'I'm John,' cause its like she forgot all about him and me being the same. Then she hits me."

"Do you want me to call you John?"

"No, it's not that, it's just her."

"Well, she's having a hard time, just like we all are, we just handle it different."

"But do I have to stop doing everything I like?"

"No, you've got to realize, her mom and dad were very strict and raised her to think some things were for boys and some things were for girls. Like being a police officer or soldier, she thinks those are only for men, but you know what?"

"What?"

"There are many fine police officers and soldiers that are women now, those barriers don't exist."

"Even fighter pilots?"

"Even fighter pilots."

Emily smiled, John knew that she had a love for planes, he was glad he could make his little girl smile. He reached over and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Still daddy's little girl? Or you don't want to be that anymore?"

"No, I want to be. I like that part of all this." Emily reached over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Let's move out." Her dad said as he put the car into gear and they headed towards the banquet.

"Have a look at the invitations, they are in the small
box in the back seat." John told his daughter as they stopped for at a light. Emily reached back and removed an envelope.

"You are cordially invited to a party at the Corsi home, please come for a big announcement. Cake, food, fun and rides for everyone." Emily read the shiny red lettering out loud.

"What you think?"

"I like them, it doesn't give anything away."

"I thought so, too, one of my friends at work made them up."

"Do I know him?"

"No, but his boy dresses like you and we have grown to be good friends since this happened."

"Dresses like me? He plays baseball?"

"No, the other stuff you wear."

"Oh, he had an accident too?"

"Not exactly. Let's just say, for him, the accident was being born a boy."

Emily didn't really understand but said okay anyway.

"You might turn out to be really good friends."

"Maybe."

Her father pulled into the restaurant parking lot, most everyone else had already arrived. They walked in and went to the back where the little league team was holding their banquet. It was a closed off section, more for keeping the kids out of the customer's hair then vice versa.

Emily separated from her dad and went to mingle. Her dad went to converse with some of the other parents. The music blared, making it hard to hear oneself think. The facility was plain except for the occasional group of balloons. The food was laid out buffet style, consisting of mostly kid favorites. There were hotdogs and hamburgers and chips, not much for nutrition.

Emily wasn't all that hungry so she retrieved the box of invitations from her dad and got busy handing out some of the invitations to her teammates. If they asked any questions, she just told them it would be a party for what she had to go through in the hospital. She thought that it was a pretty honest answer, while at the same time it didn't reveal the complete nature of the surprise. She came up to Sean, and smiled slightly.

"Do I get one?" Sean asked.

"Yeah." Emily answered looking down.

"You still mad at me."

"No, not really, it was just weird being around everyone again."

"I am sorry if I didn't pay more attention to you, it looked like you were getting swamped when you first got there."

"No, it was okay, I didn't mind that."

"Okay, guess you were just having a bad day."

"I guess." Emily said, realizing that Sean probably didn't have anything to do with the coaches action.

"I hear that everyone is going to get a trophy."

"What one did you get?"

"Probably loudest mouth." Sean laughed, Emily laughed with him.

Emily went around, handing out the rest of the invitations. The music died down.

"Settle down," the coach said while getting up to the podium, "Can I have your attention?"

The kids all stopped what they were doing, and settled down in their seats.

"That's better. Okay, thanks to all the parents for coming, and for all you kids for a great year. We all had fun didn't we?"

Some of the children cheered, Emily just sat back soaking it all in.

"Okay, everyone gets a small trophy for being a part of
the team, but we have a few special awards to give out first."

The coach went on to give the usual awards that accompany a sports banquet. Charlie got the award for most valuable play, Greg got the award for most improved, and Sean got the award for sportsmanship. The sportsmanship really shocked Sean. "Why?" Sean asked.

"Well, for all the comments you made, we figured you deserved one for not getting into a brawl." The coach laughed. "No honestly folks, for all the comments he makes, Sean here probably has the most number of friends that are on other teams. We all know he does it in fun, and so do they, and it makes for a more entertaining evening."

Sean beamed confidently and smiled as he walked back to his table. He shook the award at his dad and mouthed, "Look!"

"O.K, now not everyone can get a trophy like that, but like I said every receives one for being on the team. The only fair way to do this is by alphabetical order."

Emily knew her name was near the top of the list. The coach went through all the names with A's and B's and Emily got to the edge of her seat to walk up like everyone else. The coach was running down the names with C and then jumped to D without calling out her name.

"He forgot me," she thought, "that jerk."

The rest of the team got called up to receive their awards and no one remained but Emily. She figured it just must have been a mistake.

"Okay, we got one more award. This person had a lot of personal stuff happen to them towards the end of the season."

"Phew," Emily thought, "I thought I would have to beg for one."

"Now, for the award for most changed, Emily Corsi."

The room got completely quiet for a second. Then the children began to ask each other questions. They knew the last name but not the first. Emily sat still in her chair and hoped that she didn't hear what she thought she heard.

"Don't be shy, princess, come get your award."

Emily slowly stood up and walked up to the front in a fog. Her teammates looked at each other in disbelief.

"Okay, let me explain. We all know that 'John'," the coach made the quotation marks with his finger,s "was in an accident, but one of the things you didn't know was that they had to make him into a girl."

The team started to laugh at her, "I can't believe this," she thought to herself.

"Hey," Charlie yelled out, "He use to throw like a girl, now his body caught up."

The team just laughed all the more.

"Now batting, Betty Crocker," Charles laughed a bit louder and the team joined in.

Emily grabbed her trophy, her face burning red with anger and embarrassment.

"Oh no, she's getting mad, better watch out or she'll slap you." Charles continued relentless, then the coach gave him a look that he better cool it.

Emily slowly made it back to her table, each person that she passed snickered a little. She sat down and put her head in her hands.

"I can't believe that jerk," Emily thought, "telling everyone now. Why couldn't he wait? What an asshole, I should find a gun and shoot him. No, I should cut his thing off and see how that makes him feel." Emily wanted to cry, but knew that would cause the teasing to never end. Maybe she could play it off somehow.

"Okay," the coach called out, "you guys have another hour to enjoy yourselves." He cut the microphone off and the music went back to its defining level. Emily watched her dad make a bee line up to the coach. He could see them yelling at each other, but Emily couldn't tell if it was in anger or just because of the music.

"Hey," Charles yelled behind him.

"What?" Emily questioned.

"The girls are over there, why don't you join them?"

"Why don't you shut up?"

"No, faggot, why don't you try to make me."

Emily quickly assessed the situation, Charles was bigger and stronger then her. Plus, he had all his friends with him. Emily could never get that much support to protect her.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I would, make your move."

"Get out of my way, moron."

"What are you going to do, run to daddy like a little sissy? Yeah, that's what you are going to do. I bet he likes you like a girl. I bet he fucks you good, you little faggot, I bet you like it, too."

The kids that joined Charles laughed, each calling her a faggot or a slut. Emily pushed her way passed Charles and started making her way to her dad.

"Look at the slut go, she can't get enough of daddy's dick." The group laughed, Emily pretended like she didn't hear it. She found her dad still talking or yelling at the coach. Whatever they were saying stopped as Emily got near.

"Dad, can we go?" Emily yelled over the music.

"Yes, in a second, why don't you meet me by the car?"

Emily took the keys and made her way into the parking lot. She unlocked the door in case she needed to jump in, but decided to stand in the night air and wait.

"John, oh, I mean Emily," someone called out.

"What?" Emily asked nastily, thinking she was going to have to get into a fight as she turned around. It was Sean.

"I just wanted to talk."

"Want to make fun of me like the rest of them?"

"Why?"

"It's what you do best."

"When people are in the mood for it."

"Well, everyone is sure in the mood, come on give me one of your great one liners."

"Why didn't you tell me in the hospital?"

"Oh, right. Have this happen that much sooner. How dumb do you think I am?"

"I don't know, how dumb are you?" Sean made an attempt at a joke.

"Go to hell." Emily said as she entered the car and locked herself in.

Sean walked back to the party, not really sure what to think. A short while later her dad came out, carrying the trophy that Emily forgot.

"You okay, sweetie?" Dad asked as he buckled up.

"Yeah, just peachy." Emily spat out in anger.

"Want to talk?"

"No!" Emily kept her face forward and her features stern.

"You sure?"

"Just drive, Dad, just let's get home, okay?"

"Okay," her dad started the car. "Let her fume, let her fight it out in her head," he thought. "Let her stay mad a little while and not push her. That moron, I should have laid him out right there, he had no right putting her on the spot like that. Yeah, real good, John, go and get yourself arrested, that would have helped."

Emily sat in the car motionless. The rage in her head blocked out any hope of thinking. She just knew one thing, she was mad. She knew why she was mad, but she couldn't think about solving the problem before her. The fact was, she was angry and she was going to stay that way.

The ride was quiet, and the silence made it seem that much longer.

"Dad?" Emily asked, softly

"Yes, sweet pea?"

"Can I invite Jessie over for the night?"

"Sure, I think that would be fine."

"Good." Emily went back to staring out the window.

"Good indeed," John thought, "let Jessie come over, the two can talk things out, say things that she wouldn't readily tell me. She'll get it out of her system and then it will be in the past. Jessie has been accepting and supportive throughout this whole thing. Emily needs someone like that, that isn't family."

They finally arrived home, it was the quietest trip ever in that car. Emily got out of the car on her own and the two entered the house, not a word was said between them.

"How was the banquet?" Mom asked.

"Don't ask." Emily replied.

"Well, I did, what happened?"

"The dumb coach called me Emily when giving out my trophy."

"So, that is your name isn't it?" Mom replied.

"He didn't have to tell everyone, I wanted to do that myself."

"Well, maybe he didn't know you were still lying to people."

"He shouldn't have known himself." Emily said, thinking that she didn't tell him.

"Well, he needed to, he's an adult."

"Barely, Mom."

"You watch how you talk about your elders."

"Well, why did he have to use the name Emily, anyway?"

"Because I told him to. How long did you think you were going to live this charade anyway?"

"You, you, you told him to do this?"

"Yes, I most certainly did, you strutting around like something you aren't."

"God damn it, Mom."

Vivian had heard enough, she took the back of her hand and slapped Emily. Emily fell back into the wall and then down to the floor. She grabbed her head, at her scar, her mom had inadvertently hit it. Her dad knelt quickly to the floor to check that she was okay.

"Jesus, Viv, do you ever think before you do anything."

Vivian knelt to the floor, "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to hit you on your wound, but you had a slap coming to you. Young lady's do not use such language, and no child of mine is going to, either."

Emily was about to yell something back, but her father squeezed her arm causing her to pause.

"Emily," Dad said, "why don't you call Jessie and see if she can spend the night? Then you can get changed and wait in your room, I will send her up when she gets here. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," Emily sobbed.

Emily walked off to the other room and waited to dial Jessie. She wanted to stop crying before she did. She also wanted to hear what her parents were saying in the adjacent room.

"You're a real peach, you know that?" John said sarcastically.

"What, what did I do?" Vivian replied.

"I thought you made a deal to wait until the party for her to tell people what happened."

"No, I just said we could have the party, I didn't say she could go on lying to people."

"She didn't lie to anyone."

"Not telling the truth to people is the same as lying."

"You think maybe it just didn't come up, it's not like they could see through the clothes, you know there are two girls on the team, too."

"Yes, but I bet they didn't hide the fact that they were girls though, did they?"

"What are you trying to do, want to make a bad situation worst?"

"No, but I am not going to be a push over and allow the rules we set up to be walked all over because of convenience.'

"What about showing some compassion?"

"The sooner she comes out to everyone, the sooner she'll accept her fate, the sooner she will get comfortable with living life as a girl."

"If she so chooses, remember this is only for a year, then she gets to pick."

"Oh now, honestly, do you think that I'm going to allow her to live a lie the rest of her life?"

"Your amazing, you know that."

"Watch, in the end, you will see my way was right."

"Right, every time she gets comfortable with what she's become, you pull a stunt like tonight. Every time her feminine side comes out you go and do or say something stupid."

"Yes, like her playing with those stupid jet planes was so feminine."

"Look, I am not going to get into a fight with you about sexism or equal rights, because evidently you've been asleep your whole life."

John stormed off upstairs. Vivian went off to the den, smiling to herself. "Men can never get things through their heads. Just wait, in a few weeks when that old 'boy' spirit is broken, you'll be thanking me."

Emily dialed up Jessie and invited her over. Jessie said it would be okay but it would be about an hour before she got there. Emily told her that would be fine and to go straight to her room when she got over.

Emily walked up the stairs, she knocked on her parent's bedroom door.

"Come in, sweet pea."

"Hi, Daddy," Emily said meekly.

"Rough night, huh?"

"I'm sorry you and Mom are fighting over me again."

"Honey, you didn't cause this fight, and we weren't fighting over you, but your Mom's actions to you."

"It's still about me, maybe I should just do whatever she wants, but I don't know what she wants all the time."

"Honey, I don't think she knows what she wants all the time."

"I guess," Emily smiled slightly, "I don't know what I want all the time either."

"I know, it's a hard time, hard time for us all, but we all love each other, and this will pass okay."

"Okay, Daddy."

"What do you want, have you thought about it."

"Sometimes I think about it, and sometimes I want to be a girl and sometimes I want to wake up and find this is just a bad silly dream."

"I understand," her dad opened his arms and hugged her. His hand stroked her hair gently. For a moment Emily felt safe again.

"You know what I want to do now,though?"

"Tell me honey."

"Play war with my toys and get the madness out of me before Jessie comes over."

"Can I play, too? I've got some madness in me, too."

"Yes, let's go."

The two went into Emily's room.

"Let's have a dog fight." Emily announced.

"O.K can I be the Mig?" her dad asked, knowing how Emily loved playing with the F-15.

"Yeah, let me get them." Emily looked on her dresser, but they weren't there. "Mom must have threw them in the toy box, I hope they are okay."

"I'm sure they will be fine."

Emily went over to the toy box and opened it up. To her horror the toy box was empty except for the dolls that Jessie had been loaning her.

"Mom!" Emily cried out.

"Yes?" Her mom said, making her way to the room.

"Where are all my toys?"

"In your toy box, why?"

"All that's in there are Jessie's dolls."

"I know, I figured you would get more stuff on Saturday."

"Where are all my cars and army guys and planes?"

"I gave them to the Salvation Army."

"You did what?" Both Emily and her father said simultaneously.

"Those are not appropriate toys for a young lady, ghastly little things that they were."

"My planes, too?"

"Yes, especially those."

"I worked on those for hours, you had no right."

"You watch your tone, I had every right to, I can't stand little tomboys, you will be a proper young lady and you'll like it."

"No, I won't watch my tone, that was my stuff, Mine. I won't be a proper young lady either and you can't make me like anything I don't want..."

Vivian went to strike the child again, to take the fight out of her. John caught her hand mid-flight though.

"Okay, no more fighting tonight." John announced. "You," John looked at his wife, "I will talk to you about this later. Just let her be for now, let everyone calm down."

"Are you sending me to my room?" Vivian said smugly.

"Yes, you are all for a girl's place in the world, the world your parents told you existed. Well, I know one of those things was being obedient to your husband. I know you want to set a good example for your daughter, don't you?"

Vivian glared at her husband, but it was true what he said. She walked out the room, and went to her own.

"I can't have anything." Emily cried out.

"Now, don't you start either, you still have things, not just those things."

"But, it's not right."

"I agree, but there isn't much we can do now, is there?"

"No, but can't I even have toys?"

"Well, you will be getting some things on Saturday, I am sure. I will make sure parents know about it."

"But what about now?"

"Well for now, you got what Jessie left, and she will be over. And you got me."

"Yes, but what about the dogfight, we can't have one without planes."

"Sure we can, use that great imagination of yours." John held out his arms to the side. "Mig 1 ready for take off. He 'flew around the room'. "Targets in sight, no Capitalistic Dog aircraft in sight.

"Oh no, you don't." Emily put her hands out to the sides, "Acer one, cleared for take off."

She started to fly around the room as well. Soon, they were chasing each other, taking turns at who chased who. They were ran around the room, getting up onto the bed, benches and chairs.

At the end, Emily jumped up on the bed, in order to escape the enemy. Her dad yelled out, "Got her," and wrapped his arms around her and gently tackled her onto the bed. They both lay there motionless for a second, laughing and huffing for breath.

"See," her dad said, "We didn't need any toys, now did we?"

"No, I guess not, but still."

"We will figure something out, okay?"

"Okay. I better get ready for Jessie she should be here soon."

"Want me to go?"

"No, stay till Jessie comes, please."

"Okay," John kissed Emily on the cheek and then sat down on the windowed bench.

Emily kicked off her sneakers and placed them in the closet. She then undid her belt and took off her pinstriped pants. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair was let down from all the 'flying'. The little girl stared back at her, with her little legs hang out of the jersey she looked extremely cute. She smiled at the little girl.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think this looks cute, just like this?"

"I think you look cute anyway you dress."

"You got to say that, cause you're Daddy. But forget it's me you;re looking at and just what I'm wearing."

John looked over his little girl. The white jersey came down just below her panties, her long, slender legs showed some signs of being toned. Her body glistened from the workout she had just gotten. She was more than cute, she may be one of the most beautiful sights in the world, John thought.

"Yes, honey, very cute." John smiled at Emily, not wanting to throw more praise on her than she could handle.

"Good," Emily walked over to her dad, he wrapped his arms around her and gave her tush a playful squeeze. He gave her a small peck on the lips for good measure as well. At that time the door bell rang.

"I'll let her up, if you do what you did last time, be sure to lock your door okay, and keep a tee-shirt close in case me or mom want to come in, unless you like showing the world. I'm also going to go for a little drive, I think, let things between your mom and me settle down. I'll bring you back some ice-cream."

Emily blushed as her dad left the room. "I don't mind if YOU see," she laughed to herself. "Okay," is the only thing she actually said out loud. Her dad disappeared through the door.

"If people knew what I thought some time," Emily mused to herself, "I would be more than in trouble. I'm such a pervy, it's going to catch up to me one of these days."

A second later Jessie came to the room, carrying two duffel bags.

"Moving in?" Emily joked, using the same line the first time Jessie slept over.

"Ha Ha, very funny, you could have come down and helped."

"Sorry, you bring more toys?"

"Yeah, I got the Barbie Corvette and the RV and all the baby Kelly stuff."

"Cool, we can practice what this house is going to be like in a few weeks," Emily chuckled.

Jessie threw the two duffel bags onto the floor next to the closet. Emily sat on her bed and Jessie soon joined her.

"What happened to your face?" Jessie asked.

"I got into a car crash, remember," Emily replied trying to hide the fact that she had been hit twice.

"No, those marks are different and I can tell that it was a hand. Did the car hit a hand?"

"No," Emily laughed nervously.

"Was it your mom or your dad?"

"Mom."

"Did you deserve it?"

"No."

"Aw, I kiss the pain away." Jessie hugged her friend and gave soft gentle kisses on the red hand marks.

Emily smiled. She felt a little bit like a baby, but it wasn't a feeling that she minded.

"Feel better?"

"Yes," Emily squeezed her friend around the waist.

The two sat there for a little while, Emily enjoyed listening to Jessie's heart and Jessie enjoyed comforting her friend.

After a while the two separated, Emily went to her stereo and turned on the radio. The classical station still was playing, she left it there to see if Jessie objected.

"I like this stuff," Jessie said.

"Me too, me and my dad was dancing to it before."

"Oh, I wish I was there then."

"Why?"

"Maybe he would have danced with me."

"Why?" Emily asked again.

"He's such a hunk."

"Maybe you're right." Emily blushed.

"Want to dance?"

"You bet." Emily exclaimed.

The two grabbed each other around the waist and slowly made their way around the room. They were laughing and smiling and twirling the whole time. Then, slowly, Emily reached down and kissed Jessie gently on the lips. Jessie returned the favor and they continued to dance and kiss at the same time. The music had stopped and so did they.

"That was great," Emily said.

"Yeah, your becoming a better kisser, practicing with your dad."

"No! You stop that." Emily warned and then blushed.

"Oh, maybe not for real like we do, but you been practicing in your head."

"I told you to quit." Emily got red with embarrassment.

"Okay, I will, but we both know I'm right."

"Let's play with Barbie," Emily said, trying to change the subject.

"Okay."

Emily went to the duffel bag that held the Barbie dolls. She unzipped it and noticed an outfit in there.

"What's this," Emily held up what almost looked like a girls bathing suit. The material was soft and the pink was very light, if it were to get wet, no one would have any problem seeing right through.

"It's a unitard."

"A what?"

"It's so you can do ballet in it."

"Oh, you going to do a ballet tonight?"

"No, mom thought maybe you might be interested in it, I told her you wouldn't be."

"I don't know, is it fun?"

"Yeah, a lot."

"Does everyone wear pink?"

"No, there are a bunch of colors, some people wear others, but a lot wear pink."

"I don't know, maybe I can? I like doing stuff that is work."

"It's work, but it's very prissy, I didn't know you were into that."

"Sometimes I don't know what I'm into at all. It's weird, but when I am with you, being a girl is the best thing in the world."

"And with your dad, too?"

"Yeah," Emily then realized what her friend was getting at, "Hey, you tricked me."

"Well, you answered, not me. When don't you want to be a girl?"

"Around everyone else, especially that Charlie Munson."

"He's that boy on your baseball team, right?"

"Yeah, he's an idiot."

"I wouldn't worry, no one likes him, he's too full of himself."

"He seems popular to me."

"Just with ultra-jocks and those that like them, but not like all around liked."

"Maybe, maybe I'll do ballet, too."

"Cool."

"Yeah, my mom would like that I bet."

"Will you like it?"

"I don't know."

"Don't do it because your mom wants you, too." Jessie informed.

"I guess."

Jessie laughed.

"What?" Emily asked.

"You look hot in that jersey and I can see your panties."

"So, you saw me naked last time."

"I'm just pointing it out, you going to sleep like that."

"Probably."

"I was hoping we could sleep like we did last time."

Emily smiled. "Want to head to bed now, it is after nine?"

"Well, can we just get like that but still stay up, I didn't really get to see you in the dark."

"Yeah, I guess."

As soon as Emily said yes, Jessie started to unfasten the clasp on her overalls. With one motion she let them fall to the floor. She then pulled off a pink tee shirt that was under it and threw the items into her duffel bag. She then slowly removed her undies, it was the same style she wore the last time over. She stood there in front of Emily, completely naked except for a pair of white ankle socks.

"Your turn." Jessie told her.

Emily stood up and began to unbutton the jersey. She got all the way down and pulled it off. Carefully she placed it on a hanger and hung it on the closet door. She pulled off her white cotton panties and placed them next to the bed, "Just in case."

The two girls looked at each other naked. Each liking what they saw, each wearing nothing but a silly grin and a pair of ankle socks.

"Hey," Jessie said, "you're getting breasts." She went over and pointed at the slight swelling of Emily's chest.

"No, I'm not, I've always had these, I think." Emily looked at herself in the mirror. Her chest did look like it was swollen, a very little bit. It just looked like maybe something was trying to push it out.

"I don't know if I can get breasts, I know I can't have a period." Emily informed.

"My mom and I were wondering about it."

"About what? If I get a period?"

"No, but if your thing looks the same as ours on the inside."

"I don't know, I never saw yours and I don't know what it's supposed to look like."

"We can check."

"Huh?"

"Sit down and spread your legs and I can look in and see, then I will let you do the same thing to me, okay?"

Emily thought about it for a little while, the last time someone was pointing out something in her, ahd not been a pleasant experience. The curiosity however was way too much and she finally agreed.

She sat down on the windowed bench, keeping her butt halfway off the edge. She spread her legs as best she could, reveal the full extent of the change. Jessie got on all fours, her small hands felt cold as the touched the outer lips. She spread the labia apart and examined her friend.

"Wow." Jessie exclaimed.

"What do you see?" Emily asked.

"A small Martian has built a fort in there" Jessie teased.

"Be honest." Emily warned.

"It looks like any other girl's."

"How many do you see?"

"Just my own sometimes with a mirror."

"Oh, okay, I was worried for a second."

"Okay, let's swap, my turn to be the patient."

Emily got up, and Jessie took her place on the windowed bench. Jessie spread her legs and Emily took her place on all fours. She spread her friend's lips, causing Jessie to jump slightly. Emily put her head in closer, trying to get a closer look. She noticed a slight odor, the a kind of pleasurable one.

The children were wrapped up in their exploring. So wrapped up that they didn't hear the door open to the room.

"What in the world is going on in here?"

"Mom," Emily exclaimed as she spun around, "I can explain."

"Very doubtful," Vivian yelled, "Jessie get your stuff you are going home."

"Mrs. Corsi we were only..."

"I know exactly what you were doing," Vivian interrupted.

"But we were..." Jessie again tried to explain.

"You are only making things worst, get your stuff and go, you are no longer welcome in this house and no longer allowed to play with Emily, do you understand?"

"Yes," Jessie said as she hurriedly put on her overalls.

Upon seeing that Jessie was dressed, "Now go and don't come back this way again."

Jessie grabbed her stuff and ran out the house.

"Mom, we were just..."

"You," Mom cut her off, "how could you, I am not raising a lesbian, do you understand?"

"I am not a lesbian," Emily said, unsure of what a lesbian might be.

"I'm not raising a little slut, either." Vivian grabbed her daughter by the hair and pulled her to the center of the room. She then threw Emily onto the bed. Emily's feet were on the floor and her torso was bent over onto the mattress.

"Stay like that," her mother warned. Emily made sure to obey, and stood bent over there with her bare ass in the air. Emily didn't know what hurt more, the sound of the smack or the feeling coming from her bottom.

Emily cried loud, while her mother spanked her repeatedly. "Do you understand, you will be a proper young lady. Proper young lady's do not have relationships with other ladies. Do you understand?"

"But we were..." Emily didn't finish the sentence before her mother popped her again on her fleshy and now red bottom.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom," Emily said, knowing that any other comment would receive another smack.

"Now get this through your head, you are a girl now. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, for this year I'm a girl."

"No," her mother cracked her again on the bottom, "you are a girl, permanently, and until you find some way to end that fact, you will behave like a young lady should."

Emily just lay there quietly.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom," Emily said hatefully.

At that moment her dad had come back. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Your little slut daughter was caught going down on her friend."

"She did what?" Dad asked in disbelief.

"Oh, yes, I caught her performing oral sex on that little whore next door."

"Oh!" John really didn't know what to say.

"I can't even look at our little whore anymore, she makes me sick, if you want to talk to her about what is right, then go ahead."

Vivian got up and stormed off to her room, slamming both the door to Emily's room and to hers. Emily stayed there still bent over her bed, rubbing her sore bottom.

"Emily, is what Mom said true?" Her dad asked.

"No." Emily cried.

"Is she making it up then?" Her dad probed.

"No, she just didn't know what she saw."

"Maybe you got curious, and just took one little lick and Mom walked in?"

"No, that's not what happened either."

"Were you licking your friend in her private spot?" Her dad was trying to ascertain exactly what was going on.

"No," Emily replied.

"Then what were you doing, that Mom would think such a thing?"

"I was looking at her part, because we were wondering if I looked the same way she did. We weren't being whores or doing nothing sexy. Just looking, honest."

"I believe you baby, didn't I tell you to keep your door locked."

"I forgot to, it just kind of happened."

"Okay, let this die down some, a few days perhaps, and we will talk about it like a family."

"But, she said I can never see Jessie again." Emily started to cry again.

"Like I said, in a few days we will talk about it like a family."

John rubbed his daughter on the back and noticed that the strikes that she received on her bottom were a bit excessive. He could already see the bruising starting to form and was afraid welts would follow shortly. He bent over his little girl and gave her a kiss on the back, she still had her face buried from the world. He slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Shortly after that, Emily could here the yelling from down the hall. She couldn't make out every word, but the ones that kept coming up were "whore" and "lesbian" and "abuse." Not always in that order.

"Find away to put an end to being a girl," Emily said quoting her mother. "I'll find an end for sure." Emily cried in her pillow. Her bottom hurt and every time the wind blew it was like fanning a flame. Emily thought of putting on a nighty, but she was afraid any more contact with her sore bottom would only increase her pain.

The house got quiet, Emily listened and couldn't hear a peep. The last sound she heard was her dad heading down the stairs to sleep on the couch. Emily lay there in the darkness for a good hour.

"I can't take much more of this," she said to herself. "I didn't ask for this, don't you understand. Everyone hates me now. I have no more friends for baseball, they all laughed and made fun of me. My mom thinks I am a whore. I am breaking up my parent's marriage, all they do lately is fight about me. I can't see the only friend I still have left, this is no way to live."

Emily got up slowly. Her bottom was still hot from the beating she received earlier. In fact, it hurt even more, now that the adrenaline had burned out of her. She slowly opened the door that lead to the hall. She looked both ways and saw that the coast was clear. She darted across the hallway and made it to the bathroom. She closed the door as quietly as she could. She made sure that she locked it and looked at herself in the mirror.

"You caused all this, you caused all these stupid little problems. I got to put an end to you, sorry." Emily opened up the cabinet, so she could no longer see the little, teary eyed, girl in the mirror. She found a box of razors that her dad used to shave.

She carefully removed one of the razors, placing the rest of the box back into its proper place. While still in the sheath, she lay it down next to the sink. She remembered that she had forgotten something.

Emily unlocked the door, the coast was still clear. She ran to her room, she grabbed a piece of paper from her writing desk and a pen. She paused for a second, she thought she may have heard something. She looked in the hallway, thinking perhaps one of her parents would be there.

The hall remained empty, it had just been her imagination. She tip-toed back to the bathroom. Taking the same care as before she slowly closed the door, making sure it made no sound. She laid the paper on the bathroom counter. She penned these final words: "I am sorry. Love Emily and John."

"I can't live being two people," she said as she picked up the razor.

Slowly she removed the razor from the sheath. The silver finish glimmered in the bright light of the bathroom. Emily discarded the cardboard sheath into the wastepaper can. She took the razor and held it firmly in her hand.

"This will teach them," she said to herself.

Slowly, almost methodically, she placed the razor onto her wrist. Emily replayed the days events in her head:

Too bad you can't have any babies of your own." Mom said, after teaching her how to change a diaper.

"Now for the award for most changed, Emily Corsi." Coach called out at the banquet.

She heard Charles and her ex-friends call her a faggot.

"I can't even look at our little whore anymore!"

"This life isn't worth it," Emily said as red filled her eyes, followed by darkness.

 

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As I said, this was a difficult write.

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Chapter 9
Dearly Departed

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This has got to be the toughest write I have done in this series. I cried while writing, and it may or not affect you the same way. Is death the end or a new beginning, or does it matter?

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An eerie silence filled the Corsi household. No one recognized the sound, nor even acknowledged its existence at the time. Emily begin to feel dizzy, the room began to spin around her. The normally cold tile floor, felt warm beneath her. "This will teach them", she thought as she closed her eyes.

Suddenly, Emily felt light as air, she floated about the bathroom, not fully aware of what had happened. She looked down upon the floor. The little girl that she use to see in the mirror lay there still. Emily paused for a second, "She's no longer in the mirror" she thought.

Emily looked at the tiny body, lying still in the fetal position. Red poured onto the floor, it looked like a river of blood was flowing in the bathroom and the river flowed from the little girl's hand. "Oh my," Emily thought, "this is much more messy then I had thought. Mom is going to be real mad." Emily listened to the silence, she listened for all her worth. She heard the sound of a heart beat, the little girl was still alive.

"Quick, quick, someone come," she tried to yell but made no sound. "Oh, no, poor little girl," Emily swooped down next to the child, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. What have I done? I didn't want this." Emily began to cry, laying next to the little girl, trying to reverse what she had done out by pure effort of will. The sound of the heart beat grew ever quieter, the drum beat ever softer -- till it was still.

"No, little girl, don't die." Emily placed her hand on the small child, she felt the body grow ever colder by the second. Emily slept by the child on the floor, trying somehow to give it warmth, knowing that she had caused this all.

Morning came, the bang on the bathroom door frightened Emily. She flew into the air and hovered over the still child.

"Emily," Vivian yelled, "open this door this instant."

"Emily," Vivian said is a calmer voice, sensing something was wrong, "please open the door for Mommy, I'm not mad."

"Emily," Vivian started to get frantic, she pounded on the door, ever louder, "is everything okay? This isn't funny anymore, open up.

Emily did try to answer, but her voice could not make a sound. She knew her mom was addressing the little girl on the floor. "Please get up child, please," Emily pleaded. While she begged, there was a loud crash, and the door flew open. Emily fled back against the wall, knowing that she would have to explain this mess somehow.

Emily's mother stood at the door, her eyes as wide open as her mouth. Vivian stood at the door in disbelief.

"Mom," Emily tried to explain, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I didn't know." Vivian stared at the little girl on the floor, she didn't look up to hear what Emily was saying.

Vivian made no sound, she made no movement. Emily realized she couldn't see or hear her, she could just see the little child on the floor.

"Oh my God," Vivian yelled as she dove to the floor, "my baby, what did you do, why?"

Vivian grabbed the still child in her arm, soon her robe was stained with the child's blood.

"John," Vivian screamed, "John hurry, John quick. Oh my God, run, John."

Downstairs where he had been sleeping after the argument, John had just started to stir from when he heard the call from his wife. He knew that voice, and he knew something serious had happened. At first he thought she had started her labor. He ran up the stairs as fast as he could.

"What's wrong, hun?" he yelled at the foot of the stairs.

"Come here, quick," Vivian yelled from the bathroom.

John ran to the bathroom, he looked and saw his little girl laying on the floor.

"Oh no." John said as he saw what happened, "hold on, baby, hold on."

"I'm right here daddy," Emily yelled from above, watching the action below. "Daddy look." Emily cried because her father couldn't hear her.

John tore his pajama tops, making bandages out of the torn shreds, he wrapped each bit around his little girls wrist, hoping that somehow, he wasn't too late.

"Keep pressure on them," John said as he wrapped his wife's hands around his makeshift bandages.

John ran to his bedroom, slipping a little in the child's blood as he left. He grabbed the cordless phone and dialed 911 as he raced back.

"Yes, this is an emergency," John yelled, "come quick, my little girl slit her wrist. No, I don't know exactly when, we just found her. No, I last saw her last evening when she was going to bed. She's nine. Hurry, please. I am calm."

John gave the operator the address and then knelt by his little girl, the blood on the floor began to soak in his pajama bottoms. He took the child's head and placed it in his lap.

"Hold on, baby, please, be strong for daddy, I need you." John pleaded.

"Daddy," Emily cried from above, "I didn't know, honest, I didn't know. I'm sorry, so sorry."

Sirens could be heard in the distance, growing ever closer. There was a loud knock at the door, help had arrived. John rushed to the door, unlocking it and letting the paramedics in.

"She's in the bathroom, follow me." John raced up the stairs with EMT closely behind. "Here she is, right here. John pointed out the child.

"Ma'am, we need you to step away, we need to do our job." The EMT told Vivian.

Vivian clung to her child, "Save her, please God."

"Ma'am, you got to let go."

John came in and had to physically pry Vivian's arms from around their child. He dragged her out of the room and let the paramedics try to save the little girl.

The paramedics tried to get a pulse, they found none, they pounded on the child's chest and blew in her mouth, nothing. They tried these things repeatedly, nothing worked.

"Try harder, please, I take back, okay, I take it back." Emily still tried to yell.

"Sorry, ma'am, it's too late." the paramedic said with a frown.

"No, no," Vivian screamed, "she can't be gone, try again."

"Ma'am, we didn't get here in time, she must have done this several hours ago."

"No, damn it, you're lying, No." Vivian screamed and John held her from rushing the paramedics.

The paramedics took out a big black plastic bag. They gently placed the child in it and zipped it up.

"No," Vivian cried, "no."

The EMT placed the bag onto the cart and wheeled it down the stairs.

Vivian stayed still for a moment, and so did John, both standing there, watching their child leave the house for the very last time.

John went to put his arm around his wife.

"Don't touch me." Vivian yelled.

John took a step back.

"You did this," Vivian accused. "You drove her to this, you made my baby do this. Had to be soft, now look at what you done."

John stayed still. He didn't move at all, even though his wife began to slap his face and beat on his chest.

"It was your fault," Vivian yelled and started to call him every curse in the book.

John stood there, motionless, he could feel nothing, numbness surrounded and filled his body.

Emily just watched and cried, she created all this, she knew she had. There was nothing that she could do about it now, and nothing she could say. Nothing her parents could hear anyway.

"Daddy, Mommy," she yelled, "I'm sorry, I love you."

Her house faded into darkness and her parents grew smaller. "I love you," she yelled as hard as she could, her parents images darkened and disappeared.

Emily felt very cold, very afraid. She cried in the darkness, but no one could hear her. She longed for the feel of her father's arms, arms that could make her feel safe, even in this place. They never came. She stayed in the darkness alone, not knowing how much time had passed. Sometimes she slept, at the times she didn't sleep, she cried.

One day, light began to enter back into her eyes. She didn't know where she might be, near some kind of building. She floated on inside. Her parents were there, so were all her friends. Her mother wore all black, her face covered in a veil. Occasionally she raised a tissue to dry her eyes. Her dad had also dressed in his blackest suit; the only color, the white dress shirt he wore underneath. He shed no tear, but from the look on his face, you could tell his heart had been broken.

Many people came up to them, saying how sad it was that this had happened. Some said to not blame themselves. "How could I not blame myself," John thought every time he was told not to. Vivian also blamed John, she made that known anytime someone was in earshot. All of Emily's friends were dressed in dark clothing. Emily floated to the inner room. A small white casket stood at the front, the flowers surrounding it made it seem almost peaceful. She glided up to the casket; to her surprise, the small child was in a neat gray suit.

"This isn't right," Emily said, "she should be in a pretty dress."

No one heard her, no one could.

Jessie entered the room, her small frame looked frail. She wore all black from head to toe as well. She walked up to the casket.

"Wake up, Emily," she said.

"Wake up," she said even louder, she threw her hands on the lifeless body, "wake up, I need you, I love you."

Jessie's mother came and had to carry her away.

"I'm sorry Jessie, I didn't think, I'm so sorry." Emily shouted. "I love you, too," Emily said as the doors closed behind Jessie.

Emily watched what went on from the back of the room. Everyone walked up and said good bye in their own way. Some silently, some with small words. The pastor of their church got up front and gave a small speech, saying how tragic it was to lose someone so young, how we must gather strength in God to move on. He said that in time, we will grow strong, and that they will never forget John Jr., life will continue. It is all part of God's ultimate plan.

"They called her John, maybe it is still John to them. Everything says John." Emily went around the room and sure enough all the flowers were to John, and all the cards were to John. Emily sat next to her parents.

"You sure with all this John stuff?" Dad asked Mom.

"Yes, I guess that accident did kill our baby boy after all."

Emily sat there, stunned, knowing that whatever she said would not be heard, they were deaf to her voice now. She saw her pastor spray water on top of the casket, and then close the lid. Several of her teammates walked around the casket and carried it out the door and into a big car. Emily jumped in with it and waited to see where it went. The car drove around to the baseball field and past her house. It then went to another field, Emily knew this was the final field the body would see. They spoke more words there and the people said some final words. Then everyone went their own way, everyone except the pastor and Emily's parents.

Slowly they lowered the white casket into the ground. "No, stop," Emily yelled. "I'm right here," she jumped and waved, but no one could see her. The casket dropped at the bottom of the grave, it gave an unsettling thud. John picked up a shovel, taking a big scoop of dirt, and threw it on top of the casket. "Good bye, sweetie," John cried, "I wish you knew how much I loved you, how far it reached. I will miss you, you don't know how much I hurt."

"Daddy," Emily yelled and cried, but her father still could not hear her.

Her mom took the shovel next, in like manner she took a scoop of dirt and threw it atop the casket. "I wish you would have thought before you did this, we loved you, we could have worked this out. You just needed to give me more time to get you used to all this. Everything would have been fine."

The pastor removed a blanket that covered the tombstone, her parents just stood there, looking at it.

Here lies Our Beloved Son: John Michael Corsi.

"Time to go little one," a voice called out.

"Huh, what, you can see me?" Emily said as she turned to find who was speaking to her.

"I've been watching you your whole life, little one, it is time to go." A beautiful lady, who dressed in all white, looked as if she were shining. Her long blonde hair, flowed down her back and danced in the wind.

"Who are you?" Emily asked.

"More important than who am I, is what I am? I am your Angel, I've come to take you home."

Emily didn't know how she knew, but she knew that the Angel would take her up to be with God. Emily walked toward the beautiful woman. The Angel put her arm around the child, and they both floated off to the light. The light called to her, and Emily longed to get there quickly.

The light shined brightly, so brightly that it blinded the child momentarily as she flew through it. After a few minutes Emily's eyes adjusted to the brightness and she looked around. The buildings were all marble, they felt smooth to the touch. Emily looked down and saw that her feet were planted on a solid gold, brick road.

"Here, wear this child." The angel handed Emily a garment.

"It's a dress." Emily said.

"It's a gown, put it on, child."

"So, even in heaven I got to dress like a girl?"

"Child, everyone here wears that, it's our official fashion." The angel giggled slightly.

"Even boys?"

"Yes, even boys, but according to my records you were a girl down there on Earth."

"Only towards the end." Emily tried to correct.

"I know towards the end, and I know about the accident and the change, I was with you, you just didn't see."

"Oh, so am I still a girl up here."

"Child, look down and tell me what you see."

Emily looked down, she noticed only smooth skin, even the scar was gone. "Oh, I guess I'm still a girl."

"You assume too much, child. Look at the whole area, tell me what you see."

Emily bent down to see her whole groin, not only was there no scar and no penis, but there wasn't anything else, either.

"I got nothing there." Emily observed, marveling a little.

"Correct, in heaven we do not have gender, you can be whatever you want whenever you want."

"What if I want to be alive again?"

"You should have thought of that sooner, shouldn't you?"

"Yes," Emily said meekly.

"Well, no worries, you'll have lots of time to think of it while you are here. If you so choose. There are a lot of other things you can do while you are here, and there is no better place than heaven."

"Yeah, I only wish I got here later.

"Well, think on that, and I will come and get you later. Have fun and explore some also; you will see, nothing you desire will we lack."

"Bye," Emily waved as she watched the angel disappear.

Emily walked along the golden pathway, looking down and marveling at the beauty.

"I must have hurt a lot of people," Emily thought, "It was a stupid, dumb, thing that I did."

Emily walked up to the sea. She had been looking at it from afar, the water looked as clear as glass. She came upon the water sooner than she expected. She looked down into the water and noticed the little girl staring back at her.

"I'm sorry, little girl, you deserved better then to have me be your reflection. You were a good little girl, pretty too, I shouldn't have done what I did."

Emily shook her head and closed her eyes. The world remained silent.

* * * * *

Emily opened her eyes again, she saw the teary eyed girl staring back at her. The marks on her face were red, and the tears had caused her eyes to puff.

"I'm sorry for what I was thinking little girl," Emily told the reflection in the mirror, "but I couldn't do that to you."

Emily slid the razor back in the sheath and placed it back into the medicine cabinet. She closed the cabinet door and stared at the little girl, who looked back at her.

Suddenly, she fell to the floor, crying and weeping. Had she seen a glimpse of what might have happened, or had it all been a child's daydream? She kept seeing the faces of her parents, solemn and crying. She kept seeing Jessie, her small hands trying to wake the sleeping child in the casket. "What was I going to do?"

Emily saw in her mind, the body of John lying in the casket, and the tombstone that bore his name. She heard her mother's words, "The accident killed our son after all."

"John and Emily are the same," the child said to herself, "I did not die in that accident, and I did not die now, we are the same person, we will be the same person, just different."

Emily felt a renewed strength in her, she felt it through her legs and picked herself up off the floor. She stood in front of the mirror again, looking at her reflection. "Don't worry, little girl, I may not have in the past, but I love you now, we will figure this stuff out together." Emily kissed the girl in the mirror.

Emily slowly tiptoed out of the bathroom, and walked downstairs. She walked into the living room where she knew her dad would be sleeping.

"Something wrong, sweet pea?" Dad asked, knowing it could be any number of events, but he didn't think of the one that had so nearly just happened.

"Yes," Emily answered.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Then what can I do to help you?"

"Just hold me and rock me and make me feel safe."

"You bet," John opened up his arms. His daughter jumped into them like she had been missing his embrace for an eternity. He lay back on the couch and pulled the covers over both of them. He gently rocked his little child, not knowing how close he almost came to losing her.

She closed her eyes, and fell asleep in his arms. In this fortress, Emily felt safe from the world's harm and from hateful words; she also felt safe from her own impulses as well. John, too, fell asleep; holding his little girl gave him great comfort, and a feeling that he was very important.

---

This event was taxing. It was emotional for me and for my own reasons, it needed to be written. It gives Emily some finality about the accident and what she was and is. I know a lot of the story has been an emotional roller coaster, or maybe not. If you have any feelings about this chapter please comment; this chapter more then the rest, it will mean something, even if you hated it.

by Little Katie

Chapter 10
The Day After...

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This has been a ride, truly it has. The last few chapters were emotional for me. This chapter takes more of a look at the parents and develops them some. It deals mostly with the day after Emily contemplated suicide.

---

The alarm clock went off at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m. This was John Sr.'s daily routine to get up this early and get ready for work. He slowly stirred as he realized that his daughter was still sleeping on his chest. Emily did not stir, she seemed oblivious to the sound of the alarm. John reached to the floor and shut off the noise, thinking it was better that she slept without interruption. John sat up, with his daughter still in his arms, and wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"Waking up like this, I can get use to," he thought.

John placed one arm under his daughters buttocks and the other on her back. Emily was still warm and pink from a night's worth of cuddling. With a little work, John stood up without disturbing his daughters rest. He used to do this, but that was a long time ago, when he had a son and his son was small. John walked up the short flight of stairs and made it to the child's bedroom. He slowly opened the door and walked across the plush carpeting. He lay Emily down in the bed, making sure her head found the pillow.

"Isn't she beautiful," John thought, watching the orange light from the mornings sunrise play against Emily's soft pink skin. "To think a few months ago, she didn't even exist. Now, I don't think I've ever seen a sight so pretty." John slowly and gently touched his daughter's back, feeling the soft skin on his hand. He bent down and lightly kissed the child on the cheek. "I love you little angel," he whispered.

John headed for the bathroom, but before going he took one more look on his child. "Precious," he said while slowly closing the door.

He entered the child's bathroom, the one he used every morning to get ready for a rough day of work. John closed the door behind him and started running the hot water. He opened the medicine cabinet and noticed that one of his razors was out of its place.

"Odd," John thought as he picked up the sheathed razor. He pulled it out, almost cutting himself because the razor had been placed back in the opposite way to how the manufacturer had made it. "Someone has been using my stuff." John examined the razor closely, noticing that it hadn't been used. He placed the fresh razor blade into his razor and after lathering his face, was ready to shave. As was his custom, John turned his head to the left and began to shave the right side of his face. He then turned his head and was about to take care of the opposite side when a piece of paper caught his eye. John bent down next to the toilet bowl and picked up a sheet of lined paper.

"I am sorry. Love Emily and John." John Sr. read aloud.

"I wonder what was going on in here last night," John thought, thinking perhaps his new daughter might have been contemplating suicide. "No," he thought, "she is too young. But, then again, this has been a very traumatic experience. We will have to talk when I get home, make sure everything is okay.".

John folded the note and placed it on the counter. He finished shaving and splashed on some aftershave and cologne. He went down the hall and poked his head into his bedroom. His wife was still sleeping "She looks almost innocent with her eyes closed," John chuckled to himself. He grabbed a suit, tie and dress shirt from his closet, and a clean pair of socks and underwear from his dresser. John took his clothing and headed downstairs to the den. John got dressed while watching the morning news, though he didn't really pay attention, some noise was preferable to the ramblings of his own head.

Luckily, Vivian had remembered to set the auto dial on the coffee machine. John made himself a cup, black and sweet, and grabbed a sweet roll from the refrigerator. He ate what had become his usual breakfast and was ready for the day to begin. He shut off the television and headed out to the car. The day's daily battle with traffic and people who really shouldn't be on the road was about to begin.

A normal 15 minute drive on the weekend was an hour odyssey in weekday traffic, but John finally made it to work in one piece. The tall New York city skyscraper awaited John's arrival, as it had everyday for the last 12 years. John was a market analysis for a major brokerage firm, it wasn't the love of his life, but it paid the bills.

He had a small office on the 62nd floor, not much to brag about, but at least it wasn't a cubicle. John sat down in his big leather chair, and looked about his office. He noticed something for the very first time. Though he had pictures of his wife and of his son, he had no pictures of Emily. He had informed the office of what had happened, and in fact it had been a major topic of discussion for a few days when he returned. He was the guy who's son became his daughter. Most of the comments had been, "sorry it happened," "tough break," or the more callous, "at least you have another one on the way."

John really didn't discuss his own feelings on the matter, afraid maybe a comment would be taken the wrong way. "I like having a daughter," he wanted to tell people, "she is the most beautiful thing in the world." He kept his mouth shut though, thinking that work and home never did mix well either way. John only had a serious talk on the topic with one other employee, that was Bob. Bob had a similar situation going on at home, but where Emily was made a girl because of an accident, Bob's boy was becoming a girl by choice.

They talked about the social ramification of things, and thought it would be a good thing for their two children to meet. Bob had become a close friend since the accident, perhaps knowing what it was like to simultaneously lose a son and gain a daughter. "It's going to be interesting when those two meet," John thought, "they are both making a unique transformation."

It was 8:30, John had caught up on his messages and figured now was as good a time as any to call home.

"Hello?" Vivian said after she picked up the phone.

"Honey, hi, how are you this morning?"

"Back is kind of sore. You?"

"Yeah, my back is sore too, we keep fighting like this and I think I'm going to have to buy a new couch."

Vivian chuckled a little bit, "I guess you are going to have to stop fighting then."

"Funny," John said trying to ease the tension.

"So, what's up? Forget something?"

"No, found something, did you see the note in the Emily's bathroom."

"No, she was in there when I woke up and I didn't notice anything when she left, should I have?"

"Maybe, I don't know. We are going to have to have a little family discussion when I get home, calmly."

"Yes, I figured we might."

"You did?" John said shocked.

"I've really been flying off the handle and over reacting, haven't I?"

"Maybe just a little."

"Maybe I shouldn't have banned Jessie completely, but I was so shocked."

"Well, maybe we can talk about that tonight, too, maybe it was just kids exploring, if it was something more, then she shouldn't sleep over."

"We will see, I can't see a girl and another girl together, it's just wrong."

"Honey, you have been raising Emily from birth to like girls, in fact, I know you were trying to get Emily interested in Jessie before the accident."

"True, but that was then."

"Honey, I'm at work, I really can't discuss this now, just do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Lay off her a little today, let her play with Jessie out back or in the den. That way you can keep an eye on things and she won't have to be alone all day."

"I will, I won't like it, but I will. Why can't she invite one of her baseball buddies?"

"After the treatment she got last night, I think she will need a day or two, okay?"

"Okay, you're the boss."

"Love you."

"Love you, too." Vivian said as she hung up the phone.

"I wonder what note was left behind," Vivian thought as she settled down into the firm chair in the den, "maybe when I let Emily out I will do a little cleaning in her room." Vivian smiled. "No, I am sure I will find out soon enough, I think I meddled enough for this week. She did seem quite upset last night anyway, she probably needs a rest from me."

Vivian laughed to herself as she started her knitting. "Last night was rough at that banquet, good, that means we got the truth out in the open. Besides now at this party on Saturday, she can concentrate on having a good time and not on making some extravagant announcement.

"Ooh, I can't wait until tomorrow, getting Emily her first party dress. I'm going to make sure that it has the most ruffles and the most frills possible. She is going to be so cute, it will humiliate any 'boy' she has left out of her. Make her so cute that the boys notice, start getting her interested in one of them perhaps.

"To think, a girl experimenting with another girl, for shame. I will let that little tramp come over and play with Emily, but no more behind closed doors. She's turning out just like her mother, poor thing, has no good role model to show her how a girls suppose to act."

Vivian finished the sock she had been darning, and decided to inform her daughter that she could invite Jessie over. She made it up the stairs, only a little winded, and went into the child's room.

"What are you doing?" Vivian asked.

"Dancing," Emily said matter of factly.

"And where are your clothes young lady?" Vivian asked in a scolding voice, noticing her daughter hadn't a stitch on.

"I haven't gotten dressed yet, I just got out of the bath."

"What would people think?"

"People aren't here, i'ts just me."

"I suppose not, but young lady's don't do such a thing."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't proper."

"But, why?"

"Do you see me doing such things?"

"No. But that didn't answer my question."

"Ladies just don't, that's how I was raised and that's how you'll be raised."

"But, Mom, am I bad for being like this?"

"It's just not right, who else do you see dancing around naked?"

"No one."

"And what would you think if you saw me dancing around naked, you wouldn't like it, would you?"

"I don't know."

"Honey, hush, I'm a lady."

"Does taking off your clothes make you less then a lady?"

"No."

"So why is it wrong?"

"It just is."

"You still haven't given me one reason yet."

"Because I'm your mother and I say so, now get dressed or I'll dress you myself."

"Okay, okay." Emily gave in, figuring her mom was more likely to dress her like a baby than anything else.

"Once you're done, you can invite your little friend over."

"Really?"

"Yes, but you must stay in either the den or the yard, and you must keep your clothes on, do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

"That's more like it." Vivian took a secret delight in her child being obedient. "Now before you call, I want to see you dressed, got that?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good girl." Vivian compleminted as she walked out the room.

"To think," Vivian thought, "Going around with nothing on. Argue with me that there is nothing wrong with it, why I should have cracked her one right there. The only people who go around naked are those asking for dirty things to happen, just like my dad use to say.

"Oh God, I am turning into him though aren't I? I promised myself I wouldn't and for awhile I was getting away with it. Sure, I didn't have a daughter, it was easy. Then poof, this happened, and what do I do, I turn right into my father. I hated him for being so strict and rigid, and now I'm doing the same thing.

"It's her room, she's right, no one can see her. Now, I can see if a boy was in there with her, maybe then it would be wrong, but by herself, what's the harm. Maybe tonight when John comes home we can bring that up."

Emily went down to the den where her mother sat watching the news. The blue velvety dress came just above her knee, the white trim on the sleeves gave it just the right amount of contrast.

"Is this okay mom?" Emily asked.

"Come here."

Emily walked directly in front of her mother.

"You look very pretty in that."

Emily blushed, "Thanks."

"What did I do to get such a beautiful daughter?"

"Put me in a taxi."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know, I was just teasing."

"I have been a little rough on you lately, haven't I?"

"I don't know, just like usual, I guess."

"No, I've been letting everything get to me, and really been flying off the handle. Dad wants us to have a family meeting when he gets home."

"About me?" Emily said.

"Yes, and about him and about me. About us all. I know I've caused you some pain since this happened, trust me though it's for the best."

"Well, I do wish you let me keep my toys."

"We will talk about this more when dad is home, I will explain to you both."

"Okay."

"Give Mom a kiss and go call your friend, remember in the den or the yard, not in your room, you understand."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl," said Vivian.

Emily smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek then placed her hand on her mom's belly and felt the baby move around. Emily placed her ear on her mother's belly, listening for the baby's heart beat, but most likely hearing her mother's instead. Vivian stroked the child's hair, it was getting to be a good length. "She is cute like this," Vivian thought noticing that while the child bent over the dress lifted up to reveal her panties. "She is like a little girl, let her be, she is new to all this, after all."

Emily stood back up and smoothed her dress down. She ran off to use the phone in the kitchen. She called Jessie and invited her over. It didn't take but a few minutes from the time Emily hung up the phone until there was a knock on the door. Emily let her friend in and they went out to the back yard. They sat down on the swing, each putting an arm around the other and gently swaying in the breeze.

Vivian watched from the den's window. "How cute those two are," she thought. "Wasn't long ago I thought they should be an item, then Emily came, and now I want them to be just friends. If Emily's grandpa saw them like I caught them, it would have been the belt. She is lucky I'm not him. My butt still hurts from the time he caught me playing doctor, and I was only four at the time.

"She is too young for what they were doing, oral sex between a 9 and 7 year old. The horror. Now, if they were teens...

"Hush yourself, Vivian, you mustn't think such things, it's just not proper. Even though a part of me found it a bit erotic, maybe even exciting, I can't let that part of me show. What would people think? Part of me would have liked to get a closer look, though. For shame on you, Vivian, that's your daughter you're thinking about.

"I should have just closed the door and let them have their little fun, but they saw me; I had to react the way I did. What would Emily think of me if I went 'oh, it's okay', or even worst, 'lick on the bump'. Vivian, you know better to think like that, if your father knew what you were thinking, it would be the belt for sure."

Vivian went out on the porch and sat in a wooden rocking chair. Emily and Jessie waved at her and she waved back. The two were chatting about something, Vivian couldn't make out what. "Maybe Emily is lucky," she thought, "she has someone to explore that with, maybe I wasn't mad, maybe I was jealous."

"Your mom is watching us." Jessie informed Emily.

"Well, after what she thinks she saw last night do you blame her?"

"Maybe, I told my mom, she didn't like it much either."

"Yes, but we weren't doing that."

"Yes, but it had to look like you were kissing it."

"Ewww." Emily laughed.

"I know, Mom said that we are too young to kiss down there, I don't know why anyone would want to."

"Yes, it's got to taste like pee or something. Yuck."

Jessie laughed, "I think kissing on the mouth is good enough and maybe rubbing is nice to, but I'm not kissing pee."

"Me neither, you know what? I kind of just like cuddling anyway, it's the nicest."

"Yeah, I can stay here all day."

Jessie leaned her head on Emily's shoulder, they both enjoyed each others warmth as they gently swung on the bench. Emily felt warm all over and the light breeze tickling her thigh added to that sensation.

------

The afternoon went by without any conflict, Emily helping her mother with knitting. In fact, Emily turned out to be kind of a natural at it, and was working on one bootie while her mother was working on the other.

"Finished." Emily called out.

"Me too, let's look." Vivian took the bootie Emily made and compared it to the one she had finished. "Almost a perfect match, but I think yours is better then mine." Vivian pouted.

"I learned from the best," Emily smiled.

"Come here ,you." Vivian patted the cushion she was on. Emily came and sat right next to her mother. Vivian put her arm around the child and pulled her close.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Why can't we be like this more often?"

"I don't know, I'd like to, I love this."

"So do I, you're a sweetie, you know that."

"I learned that from the best, too."

"You are going to be a big help when the baby comes too, I just know it."

"I want to be, I hope you teach me a lot."

"Maybe we both can learn from each other."

"Huh?"

"Well, I got to learn to be more relaxed I think, and I think you could teach me that, I forgot it somewhere."

"Um, okay, I guess." Emily answered a bit confused.

At that time the door opened up, Dad was home from a long day of work.

"Where is everyone?" he called out.

"In the den, honey," Vivian called out.

"Now that's a beautiful sight." John said as he saw the girls he loved on the sofa. Vivian had an arm around Emily's shoulder and Emily was resting her head on her mom's breast. "Have a good day, you two?"

"Yes, we did, Vivian answered.

"Well, I think now is a good time we all had a little talk, while everyone is calm."

"Ok, Dad." Emily said as Mom nodded.

"Okay, first, I saw a little note in the bathroom this morning, I was a bit confused, would you like to explain it?"

Vivian was eager to hear about it too, her husband had mentioned it, but not what it said.

"Well, it just said I was sorry?"

"Sorry for what, sweetie?" Mom asked.

"For causing so much trouble and being yelled at, I guess."

"Why did you sign it both Emily and John?"

"Because sometimes I feel like I'm both and it's ripping me up inside sometimes." Emily started to tremble.

Vivian petted Emily's hair, trying to calm her down. "It's hard, baby, but you got to let that boy side go now."

"But it's a part of me, it's like letting go of an arm. Everyone seems to hate me now."

"Who, who hates you?"

"All my friends from Little League, they all made fun of me and said nasty things."

"Oh, honey," Mom said, "they were just surprised and it's going to be difficult in the beginning, but aren't you glad I had coach tell your secret, don't you feel better?"

Emily jerked herself away from her mother, "That's right, you did tell him to tell people, I almost forgot, why?"

"Baby," Vivian started to explain, "the longer you waited, the more difficult it would have been. It's like when you have a band-aid on, if you pull it off slow it just hurts longer. But, pull it off quick, even though it may sting, it gets better that much faster. It's the same thing with this, we pulled off the band-aid, now things can get better faster."

"But I felt like a moron."

"I'm sorry, really, but now it's out, now people know, it was going to be difficult whenever you told them."

Emily sat their and sulked, sitting apart from both her parents.

John cleared his throat, "What were you doing with my razor?"

Emily looked shocked, so did Vivian. Emily just looked down at the floor.

"Honey, tell me? I won't be mad at you, I promise, were you going to hurt yourself?"

Emily looked down at the floor still, tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Baby, no." Vivian said. "Why?"

"Because everything was going bad and kept getting badder and badder."

"Things couldn't get that bad," Vivian said.

"Well, they did, I had no friends from the team, not even Jessie was allowed to be my friend last night. I didn't have anything left that I liked."

"Why didn't you tell us?" John asked.

"Why and have mom yell at me some more or hit me some more?" Emily wailed.

"Honey, no matter how much I yell, I still love you. And, hitting you was wrong, I'm sorry about that, but don't ever think that I don't love you. I was just shocked about seeing you."

"You were shocked even this morning when I was alone."

"I shouldn't have been and I have been thinking about that, too, today."

"Really?"

"Yes, it is your room and you can dress anyway you want in it, even if it's not dressed at all."

"For real?"

"Yes, its kind of cute anyway," Mom smiled.

"Even when Jessie is over?"

"Honey, you are too young for what you were doing."

"Dear," John interrupted, "Let her explain what she was doing, maybe it's a misunderstanding. Emily?"

"We were just looking to see if mine and hers looked the same, since you know mine is made by a doctor."

"You weren't licking each others?"

"Yuck," Emily jumped in before her mom could say another word.

"See, they were just exploring," said John sr.

"But two girls, honey?"

"We might have to accept the fact that is the way Emily is, she is going to like girls like that, it's how we raised her until recently."

"I guess, but Emily, wouldn't you like to find a nice boyfriend to spend time with?"

"A boyfriend, gross, I don't think I can ever like boys."

Vivian just frowned.

"Anyway, there is nothing wrong with two girls together." John chuckled.

"That's because you're a guy, and it's the ultimate guy fantasy."

"So what?" John admitted.

"What if it was two boys, then what."

"That's different."

"No, it's a double standard and you know it."

"If this never happened, and our son liked boys, I wouldn't love him any less, we just have to accept it."

"You know what," Vivian stated, "she is too young to decide and it's way too early for this conversation."

"Okay, next is the party, do you know how many of her friends are coming?"

"Probably none." Emily answered.

"Well, little-miss-know-it-all, you're wrong." Mom corrected. "Everyone said they would come."

"Really?" Emily beamed with delight.

"Yes, really, see told you it was better to get it out of the way, they are still your friends. They just needed time to adjust."

"Okay, so we need to pick out a dress tomorrow, correct?" Dad asked

"Yes, we do, a very pretty one." Vivian answered.

Emily smiled, she was looking forward to the party more then ever.

----

Wednesday came and Emily decided to take a nap before her father arrived to take her and her mother to pick out a dress. Emily lay in her bed, the light breeze from a box fan danced across her skin. She stirred slightly, having the feeling that someone was watching her. She opened her eyes and looked towards the door, no one was there. She rolled over to look out the window.

"Ah!," Emily yelled, upon seeing a figure standing inside her room in front of the window.

"Sorry, baby, I was just watching you.".

"Mom, you scared me."

"I said I was sorry."

"What are you doing in here?"

"You looked so cute, I was thinking about when you were a baby."

Emily blushed, "I'm still little."

"You look very comfortable."

"I am."

"Mind if I join you, we can set your alarm for before your dad is due home?"

"Sure." Emily said, assuming her mom meant join her for a nap.

Vivian reached down and removed her house coat, revealing nothing except her pregnant body.

"Mom!?" Emily exclaimed in shocked.

"Do you mind if I join you, it looks like fun?" Vivian asked again.

"I thought you didn't like this."

"Well, I got to thinking, and it is just us girls."

"Yeah, but why the change?"

"I simply thought it would be a good way for us to bond. That is if you still want to take the nap with me?"

"Sure," Emily smiled, "hop on in."

"I don't think I will do much hopping."

Emily laughed as her mother clambered into bed. Emily looked at her mother, delighted both by what she saw and that her mom wanted to share something with her. Vivian lay on her side, and placed her arm over her daughter. The two snuggled up the best that they could.

"This isn't too bad," said Vivian.

"No, it's kind of nice."

"Yes, but let's keep this between you and I, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Vivian smiled, drawing her daughter's head onto her breast, letting her use them as a pillow. Emily fell back asleep there, with her mother stroking her hair. Vivian looked down at her daughter, "Sleep little one, enjoy this as much as I am."

"I wonder if she would like to suckle again, it would be nice. For shame, thinking such things about your own daughter, about a child." Vivian decided it was best to close her eyes and take a nap herself.

-----

The alarm went off at 5:30, a good half hour before John was due back home. Vivian reached over and turned the buzzer off. Emily was still on her breast, sleeping like an angel. Vivian gently moved the child, making sure she didn't wake her.

Vivian sat up, it was getting to be more and more of a chore. She stood up, with some work and turned and face the child. "Such a cute little thing," Vivian thought "she is going to drive people wild. The boys are really going to miss out if she only likes girls. I can see John's point though, we raised her to like girls, before all this mess happened.

"I guess I am as bad as he is, it is kind of exciting to think about it. Vivian, for shame, get those dirty thoughts out of your head. Her little honey is cute though, almost made me laugh when she said yuck about tasting it. I wonder how a young girl... Vivian, you're in danger of thinking something you shouldn't. So what, no one is around, she is asleep."

Vivian reached down, her hand gently on Emily's thigh. She slowly pulled on it, causing the leg to part.

"Mom, is it time to get up?" Emily stirred.

"Yes, dear, why do you think I'm shaking your leg?"

"Okay, are we going to leave right when dad gets home?"

"Yes, and we are going to go out to dinner, so make sure you look presentable for a change."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, be a good girl, and get dressed."

Emily got out of bed, arching her back to stretch. She lifted her arms in the air and then bent down to the floor. Vivian looked for a second, admiring the view.

"Okay, okay, enough dawdling, time to get dressed, we don't want to keep Dad waiting."

"I was just stretching."

"Well, stretch while putting on your clothes."

"You aren't dressed either."

"You watch your tone, young lady, it takes me only a second. I'll be back in 5 minutes, you better be mostly ready."

Vivian left the child's room and headed back to her own. "See what happens when you get too close," she thought, "those thoughts, you should be ashamed of yourself. What kind of parent are you? What would your father think? Thinking about another girl, just like that time in college, he would go through the roof."

Emily looked through her drawers and pulled out a pair of pink panties. She slid them up her legs to rest against her groin. "I prefer not having these things on," she laughed to herself. She found a pair of white socks with pink ruffles, and put one on each foot. She grabbed a slip, she only had two, she glided it down her body and smoothed it out.

"This is getting to be simple," Emily thought about getting dressed. Emily found the white dress with the pink borders, the one she wore when she came home. It was really the only nice "going out, fancy" dress that she owned, the rest were more casual. She put it on with care, making sure everything was smoothed out, and the proper length.

Emily walked over to the mirror, the little girl smiled back at her. "You look very pretty, little one," Emily said to the reflection. "I've come a long way, I think." Emily kissed the mirror, and laughed. At times, she found it hard to believe that that was her own reflection looking back at her.

Her mom opened the door, causing it to hit Emily in the head. Emily fell down with a thud.

"Ouch!" Emily cried.

"What are you doing standing in front of the door like that?"

"That's where the mirror is."

"Oh, oops. Well, I didn't hit you that hard, get up."

Emily got to her feet, her mom motioned her to spin around. Emily obliged, taking an exaggerated slow spin.

"Very good job, young lady." Mom complimented.

"Thank you," Emily bowed at the waist.

"We are going to have to teach you how to curtsey."

"Courtesy what?"

"Not courtesy, curtsey, it's the way girls bow, I can't show you now, I'll get your little friend to."

"Okay." Emily said, not sure what her mom was talking about.

At that moment a horn beeped, Dad was home.

"Go down and meet your father, I will catch up."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl," Vivian said as Emily left the room.

Emily hurried down the stairs and got into the back seat of the car.

"Mom is coming, she is just slow."

"I know, she is carrying another person."

"Yeah."

"How was your day?"

"It just went on and on and on forever, I thought you would never get home."

"Well, we will pick out something nice, anxious are you?"

"You bet, I never thought I'd ever get a party dress."

"Never thought you would have the need, a few months ago."

"When this first happened, I didn't think I would be interested in stuff like this."

"So what changed your mind?"

"Well, I figure if you can't beat them, might as well join them."

John laughed at the cliche, "I guess that is one way to look at things.

Vivian made her way to the car and got in, the family was off to a small shop at one of the strip malls. It was a short ride, especially when compared to John's daily trip to the city. They came upon a store, bland by the facade, named "Christina's Boutique". One would hardly know it was there if it wasn't for the painted window in the door.

John, being the gentleman that he was, opened the door for both Vivian and Emily. They were on their way in, Emily felt both excited and nervous at the same time. Part of her wanted to dress real pretty, see what it was like and please her mother. Another side of her wanted to hop back in the car and forget the whole thing, hide under a rock and let life pass by without anyone noticing what she had become.

The family walked inside, the cool air was a treat after the few seconds in the muggy air. Emily stood spellbound as she saw the displays of dresses and accessories. Everything looked frilly and feminine, she wasn't sure if she loved it or wanted to be sick. Her mother and father spoke to a tall slender blonde woman. She looked up there in years, but had a certain air of grace about her. Emily walked around the clothes, looking at all the lace and bows. She touched some of the dresses, they felt cool, soft and silky. She thought that to wear them must be very comfortable.

"Emily, come here." Mom called out.

"Yes, ma'am"

"My what a very polite young miss you have there," the proprietor said.

"Thank you," Vivian said as Emily made it by her side. "Honey, this is Christina, she owns the shop."

"Nice to meet you," Emily said as she held out her hand for a hand shake.

"Absolutely adorable." Christina said as she gently took the child's hand. "I hear you are having a very special party this weekend."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And you want to look your very prettiest, don't you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, then let's get started, I've got several dresses I would like you to try on, would that be okay?"

"Yes, that would be very nice."

"Good, come to the back, we got a nice size fitting room, do you want both your parents or are you still shy around Daddy."

Emily blushed, "No, they both can come."

"Good, nothing wrong with Dad seeing you in your skivvies anyway, it's like wearing a bathing suit. Follow me."

Christina lead the family back to the dressing room. It was quite large, much larger then any of the ones at department stores. It had two wooden benches and mirrors going around three walls. A small dresser stood along the back wall, holding all kinds of clips and accessories in its drawers.

"Emily," Vivian said, "get undressed here with your dad while I go pick out a few items for you to try on. Okay, hon?"

"Yes ma'am." Emily closed the door to the dressing room, only her dad and she remained inside.

"Excited?" Dad asked.

"A little."

"Your first party dress."

"I know, it will make Mom happy."

"You, too?"

Emily blushed, "Kind of."

"You know, it's nothing to be ashamed of that you like all this girl stuff."

"It's just weird."

"What is, the dresses?"

"No, that I like it." Emily blushed.

"It is quite all right. Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes."

"I like you like this, too, I feel I can be closer to you."

"Me too, that's what I like best."

"Can I tell you something else, now that we are alone?"

"Sure."

"It scared me that you were thinking about hurting yourself the other night."

Emily looked down, not knowing how to respond.

"Honey," John lifted his daughters chin, "I love you and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. There is nothing so bad that we can't work it out."

"I know. I was just so sad, it looked the better way to do things."

"But, it isn't, is it?"

"No, I would make a lot of people I love very sad."

"True. So you promise that before you grab a razor or something we can talk?"

"Yes, Daddy." Emily threw her arms around her dad and received a warm hug and peck on the lips.

"Okay, let's get this dress off." Dad said as Emily stood in front of him. Emily raised her arms and dad gently pulled off the dress and hung it neatly on a hook. It took only a few seconds for the cold air to hit the rest of Emily's body.

"Excited or cold, baby?" Dad asked.

"Huh?" Emily didn't know what he was referring to.

"Your breasts, honey, your nipples are pointing."

Emily looked down, her small nipples stuck out from the skin. Emily got very red from embarrassment and folded her arms over her chest. "I don't have breasts," she proclaimed.

"No, not yet, but they are developing."

"They are?" Emily said in amazement.

"Yes, haven't you noticed that your getting small mounds, I mean you are naked enough of the time."

"I thought I was getting fat."

"Well, they are fat, that's what they are made of, it's how you girls store your fat."

Emily removed her arms from in front of her chest and examined them in the mirror. They did look a little swollen, especially with her nipples erect.

"Don't worry, they will grow, you're still young." Christina said as she walked in holding a dress in each arm.

Emily spun around, embarrassed at being caught.

"Don't worry," Christina added, "you aren't the first girl to wonder if her chest will grow, just give it time."

Mom came in behind her, she also was carrying a dress. "Okay, let's see which one of these we like the best."

The dresses were hung on a small bar on the door. "Try the one I picked out first." Mom said as she handed Emily a white dress. Emily held it up over her body, it had ruffles everywhere and seemed to be extremely short. Emily handed the dress back to her mom.

"It looks short," Emily explained.

"Just try it on for mom." Vivian said removing the dress from the hanger.

"Yes, ma'am," Emily answered, not wanting to get into a debate with her mother in front of a stranger.

Emily lifted her arms as her mother lowered the frilly dress on top of her. The two layers of skirts were not long enough to hide her panties and the frilly arms made them look much to big for a child her size.

"See, too short," Emily explained

"You have to put these on." Mom said while handing Emily a pair of ruffled underwear.

Emily pulled on the pair, though the waist and leg bands fit fine the panties had way to much room in them. Emily thought it best not to point this out and looked at herself in the mirror. "I look ridiculous, I look like an infant, not a girl."

Vivian and Christina were cracking up. "She makes an adorable baby" Christina said.

"Yes, won't her little friends be surprised how cute she is" Mom added.

"Ma!" Emily protested.

"Yes, little baby?"

"You can't be serious."

"No, honey, we are just teasing, but you do look darling. I always wanted a baby girl, especially one like you."

"Mom," Emily blushed making her look even more like a toddler.

"Oh, you didn't raise her from a baby?" Christina asked.

"No, we just got her." Mom tried to explain.

"Oh, how wonderful, I think adoption is great, she is a very lucky girl."

Mom just nodded, and Emily just looked at the big toddler in the mirror, not knowing how to respond.

"Okay, let her try on the real dresses for the party," Dad finally said, breaking up the silence.

Emily pulled off the frilly panties and John helped her out of the dress. Now was the time to try on the real things, the ladies had their little fun.

The first dress Emily tried on next was all white as well. It was sleeveless and had a long flowing skirt that reached the floor. A big pink bow sat at the waist and tied behind her. Two small pink flowers were crocheted on the skirt as it pushed out away from Emily's legs.

"Let's see you walk a little." Christina advised.

Emily made a short but careful trip from one side of the room to the other. She returned to the center of the room and gave a slow twirl.

"What do you think, Emily?" Mom asked.

"I don't know, its white, won't it get dirty?" Emily answered, shocked her mother wanted her input.

"True, try the other one on, then we will pick."

"Yes, ma'am," Emily answered causing her mother to smile.

Emily tried on the second dress. It was a dark pink, short skirted dress. The sleeves were sheer pink, allowing the child's arm to be seen. The skirt, which came six inches above her knee, had a white border around the bottom. This one also had a bow, but very small in comparison to the other dress. A white flower adorned the center of the chest. Emily took another stroll for everyone, finishing with a twirl and a smile.

"I think we have a winner," John said.

"Yes, I think so, too," Vivian agreed.

"Excellent choice, will you need some accessories, stockings perhaps or gloves or shoes or a tiara?" Christina added, trying to increase the sale.

Vivian agreed to get a pair of stockings and some matching shoes for the dress. Emily's mom went to the counter to pay for it all.

"Dad, can we look at something?" Emily asked

"Sure."

"Look at this, I saw it when I first came in." Emily went over to a mannequin that was wearing a ballet costume.

"It's very nice."

"Jessie does ballet too, she brought one over."

"Is that something you want to do?"

"I don't know, I was just thinking about how they looked."

"Well, if you do, I am sure we can work out some lessons."

"Thanks, I don't know though."

"We are all ready, grab the boxes, hun." Vivian called to them.

"Two boxes," John inquired.

"Yes, two, I got something for me."

"Okay," John answered, perplexed because the store only catered to children. He took the two boxes and put them in the trunk. The family got into the car and went off to dinner, talking and planning for the weekend party.

---

We keep getting closer and closer to the party. It should be quite a fanfare. I wonder if people would show. I wonder what's in the second box. Well, I don't wonder because I know. Do you? Next chapter should be the party. Enjoy. Thank you for all the wonderful comments I've been reading lately. It makes the work worthwhile and shows me that it is appreciated.

by Little Katie

Chapter 11
The Princess Ball

---

Well, it is finally here, the party that was mentioned so many times. I know that a lot of people commented on the earlier chapters, I kind of understand why, I will fix some things in the rewrite. I should have made it more obvious that it was a dream sequence, my mistake. This is a bit more uplifting though. I hope you enjoy.

---

Emily lay in her bed asleep, the sky outside her window hinting that the morning sun would soon be shine in on the child. Vivian and John stood at the door, watching her sleep in peace.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Vivian whispered.

"Yes, most certainly is."

"I wonder why she chooses to sleep naked?"

"Probably just really comfortable, it is warm out, you know."

"True, but she never did that, you know, before."

"Maybe it's one way to get in touch with what she's become, like a constant reminder."

"We should ask her." Vivian said.

"Nah, she probably doesn't realize why she does it, she is still young, impulsive."

"I wish we had her from birth though, would have made things easier."

"Yes, it's got to be tough, I couldn't have handled it."

"I just always wanted a little baby girl, but you couldn't come through could you." Vivian playfully punched John in the shoulder.

"You will just have to make do with getting one at nine."

"Still a baby girl would be nice."

"Well, we already know you're carrying a boy. So don't get ideas."

Vivian laughed softly.

"Think she will do good at the party today?" John asked.

"Well, I called all the parents and ensured that all her friends will be here, and everyone will be on their best behavior."

"Hope they can see that underneath it all, it's the same person."

"But, she isn't, look at how much she changed?"

"Honey, she is the same underneath, just outward appearances maybe are slightly different. I'm talking about the core, what will always be."

"Don't get so philosophical."

"I just don't want you pushing things, we came close to losing her."

"I don't believe that she was that serious about it, she had a little bit of a bad day, kids that age don't do such things."

"It happens, probably a lot more then we want to admit. I don't want to push her over the edge, just let her be and what will happen will happen."

"If she was close to doing something then it's because of you."

"How do you mean?"

"Your such a softy, a child needs discipline, needs boundaries."

"A child needs love too, and compassion."

"Are you trying to say I had something to do with her grabbing the razor."

"No, I'm not trying to lay blame at all. I am just saying don't push, let it come."

"I did all I need to, her friends know and that was going to be the biggest hurdle. Today she will get a bunch of new toys, appropriate toys."

"Didn't you do anything that wasn't just for girls?" John asked sarcastically.

"You know my dad, and I think he was right."

"Well, we better get things set up, people are going to show up at 10 right."

"Yes, let's decorate. Remember I supervise, you do the grunt work." Vivian said patting her belly.

"I guess it's a reversal from work, I was due."

John and Vivian went down the stairs. John went to the garage and pulled out a big box of party supplies.

"What did you order, hun?" John called out.

"The only thing I could think of. Empty the stuff out."

John did as he was commanded. A couple of bags of pink and white balloons, some pink and white paper ribbons, white paper table covers and pink paper napkins. John set up the tables as Vivian filled the balloons with helium and tied small plastic weights to keep them from floating away.

John finished with the half dozen folding tables. He put the paper table clothes on each. Afterwards he made his way back to his wife. The small den in which she sat was littered with the balloons.

"Think you, got enough there?"

"Just about, tie these up the banister and place a few in bunches outside.

"Yes, sir," John said smugly.

Vivian gave him a look and John grabbed a bunch of balloons and bowed and went on to his task.

John tied a group of four balloons to the bottom of the stairs and did the same to the top. He went out to the front and put a group of four on each side of the pathway leading to the door. He then made his way to the back, making sure that each table got the same amount of balloons.

"She really is going overboard with this pink and white motif," John thought to himself as he went back to the den to get his next task.

"Put these napkins at the tables and set the chairs up. I want to be done by the time she wakes up." Vivian gave orders to John.

John grabbed the napkins, his wife did a good job of folding them. He placed each at their place, he looked down and noticed some writing in white. "It's a girl," John read. "Boy, she really knows how to drive home a point." John then set up the chairs, making the most out of the room available. He also set up a small stereo system, should the need arise.

"Anything else?" John said while entering the den.

"Yes, last thing, put these two things up." Vivian handed her husband two plastic bags.

"What's this?"

"Open them up and see for yourself."

John did just that. He pulled the lettering apart. "It's a girl!" In alternating pink and silver letters shined before his eyes.

"Aren't you pushing this a bit far?"

"Not at all, it's a theme. Remember last Halloween you wanted your pirates theme, you constructed the stern of a ship, that was going too far."

"I guess. Will you just behave during the party?"

"On my very best behavior."

John stared at his wife for a second. He was looking to see if he could get any hints at to what she was really planning. Nothing revealed by her expression, he went on to the tasks that were assigned. He put one of the signs up over the mantle, making sure that it was nice and even. He went out back and found a good place near the head table to place it. He strung it across the longer table, it barely fit, but it did.

"Doesn't look that bad either." John said as he looked upon the setup he created and smiled.

John went back to his wife, and sat down on the sofa.

"How's it look?" Vivian asked.

"Pretty darn good."

"I hope we have enough food?"

"I've seen the spread, trust me we got enough for three of these parties."

"What time you got?"

"Almost eight."

"We better get her up and in the shower."

"Yeah, it's just that time."

"I'll get the dress and help her get ready, she never dressed up like this, I want everything to be perfect."

"You sound nervous."

"It's not everyday you introduce a nine-year-old girl to the world."

"Didn't you do that at the banquet<"

Vivian gave a little grimace, "It's not the same, now, go wake her up."

"Okay, you're the boss, today." John said as he made his way up the stairs.

"Just like every other day," Vivian murmured to herself.

Emily slept on the purple sheet, her left hand propped up the pillow and her head. She gently sucked on her left thumb as her right hand reached out toward the headboard. Her light pink skin contrasted perfectly with the dark purple sheet. The comforter and top blankets had fallen to the floor, probably from losing some epic battle during the night. John stood at the doorway admiring the beauty of his daughter. "Almost a shame to wake her," John thought. "She looks so peaceful."

John casually walked over to his daughter's bed, gently lowering himself to sit on it. He tried hard to give his daughter those precious few seconds extra of sleep. Her long hair draped over her shoulders and the soft, delicate features of the child's face showed that at least in sleep she was free from any torment. "You can barely see any hint of my son," John thought as he eyed the little beauty. He gently placed his hand on the child's shoulder and shook her lovingly.

"Time to get up, sweet pea," John whispered into her ear.

Emily stirred slightly, and batted her eyes until they were fully open. She focused upon her father. "Morning, Daddy," Emily said as she sat up and propped herself against the headboard.

"Morning, sweetie, did you sleep well?"

"Yes, yes, I did," Emily replied.

"Today's the big day."

"Yeah," Emily said unenthusiastically.

"Not excited anymore?"

"Yes, I am, but," Emily trailed off.

"Kind of nervous, too?"

"Yes, I got butterflies in my belly."

"Don't worry, just be yourself and everything will be fine."

"But, who am I?" Emily asked straight faced, like she had been asking herself the question and coming up empty.

"You are my child and I love you very much."

Emily hugged her father and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You are going to look so pretty today, just wait and see."

"I guess."

"Trust me you will and you will see, your friends will go back to being normal.

"I hope so."

"Still afraid we will have a repeat of the banquet?"

"Yes, I'm scared they will laugh at me and say mean stuff again."

"Well, this is your house, you don't have to worry about that stuff here, Mom and I will make sure of it."

"Mom didn't make sure of it last week by telling coach to give me that dumb trophy."

"Mom meant the best, really she did, sometimes we just don't see the method behind her madness."

"Well, I hope wearing this dress makes her happy."

"It will, and it will make me happy too, and I hope it makes you happy as well."

"I don't know, I'd rather wear nothing than a dress."

"Well, I guess that's one way to prove to them that you are a girl, but you might get more proposals then you can handle." Dad laughed.

"Daddy!" Emily said with mock anger and then joined in the laughing. Emily got out of bed, raising her hand to the sky, she stretched out the night's stiffness.

"Okay, honey, you better go take your shower, got to be ready for the first guest when they come."

"Yes, Daddy," Emily said as she headed out the door. In the hallway she ran into mom.

"Big day today, kiddo." Mom smiled.

"Yeah," Emily replied without much energy.

"Aren't you excited?"

"Yes, I'm just still waking up," Emily said searching for an excuse.

"Well, we are going to get you looking as pretty as possible. I want you to take a shower and don't wash your hair, we simply don't have the time. Then I will meet you in your room and help you get ready."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl, now chop-chop." Vivian playfully smacked Emily on the bottom, urging her toward the bathroom door.

Emily got the idea and hurried into the bathroom. All of her father's things had been moved out the day before, "Just in case she got other impulses." Emily thought that maybe that was for the best.

She ran the water for the shower, making sure the temperature was just right before getting in. She grabbed a bottle of strawberry shower gel, missing the days when a shower consisted of just a bar of soap. She lathered up a washcloth and cleaned herself diligently. She rinsed off, but instead of getting out right away, she stayed there and enjoyed the solitude. A few minutes passed by and she thought it would be best to get out before pruning. She shut the water off and wrapped a towel around her waist. She dried while still standing in the shower, starting at her chest and working her way down. When sufficiently dried she threw the towel to the floor and stepped on it while exiting.

Emily made her way to the mirror and examined herself. "My God," she thought, "They are growing." Emily pinched her chest and sure enough there was some fat beginning to form.

Emily shook off her horror and made her way back to her bedroom. Mom sat on the bed anticipating her daughters arrival.

"There you are, we are going to make you look like a doll."

Emily smiled and walked over to her mom. She wasn't truly looking forward to this, but let on that she was. She wanted nothing more then to make her parents happy.

"We got to do your hair, but first put these on." Mom held out a pair of ruffled underwear.

"What is this?" Emily questioned.

"Panties."

"Why do they have these things?" Emily pointed out the ruffles.

"Just for looks, now put them on and quit questioning everything."

Emily figured it would be a long enough day and decided not to argue the point with her mother. She stepped into the underwear and pulled them up. The ruffles were behind her and the front looked just like any normal pair. The silky material felt cool against her skin, it sent a sensation of pleasure through her body for a moment.

"See, that's pretty nice, isn't it?" Mom said, sensing the effect.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl, now sit down next to Mom, let's do your hair very pretty."

Emily did as she was told. Her mom started with her bangs first, making sure they were just perfect. She then gathered the hair in the back and brushed it back. "It's growing quicker then I thought," Vivian told her daughter as she placed a bright pink hair tie over the hair, forming a quaint ponytail. "There you go honey, look in the mirror, tell me what you think."

Emily stood in front of the mirror, the hair did come out looking nicer and neater now that it was up. She looked and saw the ruffled panties, "ridiculous," she thought. "It's very nice, Mom, I like it like this," Emily told her mother.

"Good, maybe we can keep your hair like this often, it will keep the hair off your neck."

"That would be nice."

"Now come here, still got to accessorize before we get the dress on."

"Yes, ma'am," Emily walked back to the bed, Mom patted the mattress and Emily sat down.

"We got something special, for such a special party."

"What?" Emily asked atheistically but hid her angst at what it could be.

"Stockings," Mom said, "hold out your legs and ill get them on you."

Emily lifted her leg, her mom had a rolled up piece of material in her hand. She slid the silky material on the child's foot and then proceeded to go up until she reached the child's thigh. The elastic ban made a snapping sound as it clinged to Emily's flesh. Vivian followed the same procedure for the other leg as well.

"Go take a look and tell me what you think," mom instructed.

Emily found herself in front of the mirror. The white stockings felt cool against her flesh. The rose pattern seemed almost unreal. "You get more like a girl everyday," she told the little girl in the mirror under her breath.

"Spin around for Mommy."

Emily did just that, feeling this at least would make Mom happy enough not to do anything to make this day be one she would regret.

"Okay, back here." Mom called, and Emily did just that. Mom produced a small glass flask that had a ball on the end. "Stay still and close your eyes." Emily did just that, she felt a mist of liquid hit her. The overwhelming smell of sweet flowers made her cough a little bit.

"Don't worry honey, it will wear off soon," Mom ensured.

"Yes, mommy."

"Now we are ready for the dress." Mom removed the garment from the box. "Up with your arms." Mom commanded as Emily followed the orders. She lowered the dress on her daughter, it felt a little tighter then it did in the store. She slipped her arms through the sheer materials that covered her shoulders. She smoothed the dress down, the skirt wasn't nearly as long as it was in the store.

"It shrunk," Emily told Mom.

"No, honey, I got the correct size, the one in the store was too big, this is the way it's suppose to look."

"But people will see up it." Emily protested.

"That is highly unlikely, and if they do that is what the panties are for."

"Yes, ma'am," Emily said dejected, feeling like her mom tricked her once more. She looked in the mirror, when she spun the skirt kicked up a bit and revealed her ruffled bottom. Emily thought she looked more like a little kid then someone that was soon going to be ten.

"One more thing, honey, then we are done."

"What, a big lollypop, so I can look more like a baby."

Vivian raised her hand, and Emily flinched. "That was a warning, adults will be here today and you better be on your best behavior. Another comment like that and I am sure I can find diapers to fit you, you understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"And, I was referring to the tiara that the nurse gave to you. She will be coming today."

"She is," Emily's face lit up.

"Yes, she is anxious to see how you were doing."

"Cool."

"Yes, cool indeed." Mom placed the tiara on her daughter.

Emily looked in the mirror, the little girl smiled back at her, almost teasing that she had won some kind of battle between her and Emily's male side. Emily slipped on her shoes, it added another inch to her height, but the little girl still looked as precious as could be.

"Now go downstairs and show your father, I am sure he will be as pleased as I am, and remember to behave."

"Yes ma'am"

"Good, girl," Mom said as Emily left the room.

"Good girl, indeed," Vivian thought, "getting closer to being Mommy's little baby doll, at least for a little while."

Emily slowly made her way down that stairs. "Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this," she thought with every step down. She held onto the railing, which was not her usual custom, fearing uncertain in the low heeled shoes. She found her father in the kitchen, also dressed up, wearing a suit without a tie.

"Oh, my." John said as his eye caught his daughter walking into the room.

"How do I look?" Emily asked in a quiet voice.

"Wow! You look more beautiful then ever." John was awestruck.

"I feel like a fool."

"That's just nerves, baby. Trust me you look great, I have never seen such a beautiful girl."

Emily stood there and blushed. She turned her head and looked down at her shoulder, and crossed her feet, rubbing the top of the right shoe on the top of the left. She looked very much like an embarrassed girl doing that, John thought.

"Come here." John beckoned Emily to him. Gently wrapping his arms around, to not wrinkle the dress, he gave a reassuring hug. At that moment the first knock of the door came.

"You want me to let in the guest?" Dad asked.

"No, it's the first one and I think I'll do it. You can get the rest."

"Okay, it's your party." Dad smiled as Emily left the room. He could almost see a glimpse of her panties as she walked away. "She still doesn't know how cute she is."

Emily opened the door, it was Sean and his mother. Sean's mouth dropped slightly and he stood in disbelief as he stared at his old friend.

"John?" Sean said in wonder.

"It's Emily now, remember."

"I guess so." Sean stood motionless still, his mother nudged him on the back. "Oh, yeah, I got you something."

"Thank you, come in, the party is in the yard." Emily stood to the side to let her guest pass. Sean went towards the back and his mother stopped right in front of Emily.

"Look at you." Sean's mom said.

"Yes?" Emily wondered if she was going to be made fun of or complimented.

"You're an absolute doll aren't you?" The large women said while pinching Emily's cheek.

Emily blushed, she enjoyed the treatment and the attention.

"Well, I know this is probably rough for you and all. You probably won't be used to being a girl for a while. Let me just say for the record though you are very pretty and you are welcome to come to my house and play with Sean whenever you want."

"Thank you, ma'am." Emily said while trying to absorb the comment.

"Where are your parents, sweetheart?"

"Probably both in the kitchen now."

"Okay run off and be with your friend, we old people will stay out of your hair."

Emily watch the large woman head off to the kitchen and decided she should join Sean out back.

Sean was sitting in a chair, munching on some popcorn when Emily caught up to him. He stared at Emily as she walked towards him. His chubby little cheeks were a bit fuller now that he had them full of popcorn.

"What?" Emily said, conscious that Sean was staring at her.

"Nothing."

"It's got to be something, you keep looking at me."

"Well, I guess I didn't believe it until seeing you
dressed like this."

"So I guess you want to make jokes again."

"Why do you keep doing that to me?"

"Doing what?"

"Every time I try to talk to you, you try to turn it into a fight and say I'm making fun of you."

"Well, I guess I'm just expecting it."

"You're my friend."

"Really, even now I'm changed?"

"Yeah, what has that got to do with anything?"

"Well, Charles and the rest didn't seam to want to be my friend."

"I'm not them, I will never be them."

"I guess." Emily sat down in front of Sean.

"Honest, I am still your friend. I think people get stupid over this boy-girl thing anyway. Mom says in a few years it's going to pay off that I'm nice to girls."

"Maybe, I don't know."

"So what's it like?"

"What is what like?"

"You know, being a girl, is it a lot different?"

"In some things it is, like dressing, in other things you just don't think about it."

"So your thing is gone, completely."

Emily nodded.

Sean made a face, "Ouch, that must of hurt."

"It did after, I don't remember when it happened, I was knocked out."

"I wouldn't know what to do if it happened to me."

"Me either," Emily laughed.

Other guest started to arrive. Emily, being a good hostess, left Sean and greeted each of them, thanking them for coming and for the gifts, which each had brought.

Before long the party was in full swing. The tables were full and kids hung together in groups. Emily sat at the head table, a lot of adults came to her. Some said they were sorry this happened, others told her how brave she was, many told her she made a very pretty girl. She heard the comment about making a pretty girl, she started to wonder if that was a compliment or an insult.

After a good twenty minutes, the parents all gathered inside, they were having their own, adult type, party away from the kids. Emily was sure that even though she wasn't there, she would be the main topic of conversation.

As soon as the adults were out of range, Emily was left to fend for herself against any ill-willed comments that might come her way. Charles was the first to come up to her, she knew it would happen and regretted that it did so early in the party.

"Hey, faggot," he called out.

"My name is Emily, is that to hard for your little brain to remember?"

"Hey, I'm surprised you can sit."

"Huh, why?"

"I figured with all the fucking your dad does to you, you must be sore."

"Shut up, that's so gross."

"Will you put out for all of us, are you going to be a baseball whore, like Rachael and Becky?"

"You wish, you couldn't get any girl."

"Well, I know you probably cream for me, now, don't you? Maybe I'll let you suck my cock, if you ask real nice."

"Find it first." Sean called out.

"Stay out of this, it's none of your business."

"I'm making it my business, why don't you just cool it?"

"Who's going to make me?" Charles sneered.

"Maybe I will, you don't need to be such a jerk all the time."

"I know what's going on, you two are boyfriends, you a faggot to Sean?"

"Do you know how stupid you sound?"

"Is sissy John your girl friend?"

"No." Sean said defensively.

"Then mind your business."

"No, go find something else to do and HER name is EMILY."

"She can pretend all she likes, but the slut can't fool me."

Dad poked his head out the door. "Everything okay?"

Charles and his two buddies went to the punchbowl and left Emily and Sean alone.

"Yeah, everything is great dad." Emily called back.

"Okay, lunch will be out in a little bit." Dad said as he disappeared from view.

Charles walked passed Emily on the way to another table, "You going to eat his dick in front of us all?"

Emily just ignored him.

"Don't listen to him, he's an idiot." Sean said.

"Everyone likes him, though, he's going to make school suck."

"We don't like him, so not everyone." Sean laughed.

"Thanks for sticking up for me."

"What are friends for?"

Becky and Rachael walked up to them. Each of them wore a party dress as well, though theirs came down below their knees. Becky wore a light blue dress with puffy sleeves and Rachael wore a soft pink dress that was adorned with pearl-like beads. "Mind if we borrow Emily for a moment?" Becky giggled.

"Sure, make sure you rewind her before you bring her back." Sean laughed.

"Let's go somewhere, where just we can talk okay." Rachael said.

"Sure," Emily lead them to a far end of the yard, there was just a shed there for the lawn care stuff. The girls went around a corner, out of sight.

"What's up?" Emily asked.

"He's cute isn't he?" Becky said.

"Who me?" Emily asked.

"No, Sean, I said 'he' didn't I?"

"Yeah, but some people haven't caught on yet."

"I think he likes you."

"Yeah, he's my friend."

"You still got a lot to learn, don't you?"

"Yes."

Becky and Rachael both laughed, Emily joined in a second later.

"So," Rachael took over the conversation, "you are really one of us now?"

"Yes, I'm trying."

"No, I mean you don't have any boy things hiding between your legs?"

"No, it's gone."

"Cool."

"I guess."

"Do you like being a girl?"

"Sometimes, yeah, but some things I'm not sure of yet."

"Well we wanted to tell you that you can be our friend and we can help you with stuff."

"I thought we were friends." Emily said, not thinking they were ever enemies.

"We were acquaintances, there is a difference. But, you were always nice, not like that idiot that was giving you a hard time before."

"What do I do about him?"

"Just ignore him, in a few years he will be begging just to talk to you."

"I doubt that."

"Trust me, my sister went through it. She's in high school now, and the boys won't leave her alone."

"Yeah, but she is good looking."

"So are you silly, or haven't you noticed that."

"People keep telling me that, but I don't know."

"Well, take it from us, you are going to be getting a lot of calls from boys later on." Becky laughed.

"You do any girl stuff yet?" Rachael asked.

"Like what, I mean I dress and stuff. Do you mean sex stuff?"

"No, why would I ask for that, we aren't boys, it's not all we think about and we don't go around making up stories either."

"I don't know what you mean about girl stuff."

"Ballet, gymnastics, you know, things that you used to think were just for girls."

"I do some knitting with my mom, cause the baby is
coming, I'm good at it, too."

"Cool, you going to be a babysitter?"

"I hope so."

"Ask for 5 dollars a night, they probably would give you a thousand a night if they get desperate enough. But five is good, they can afford it and think you aren't taking advantage of them."

"You mean they will really pay?"

"Sure, my aunt give me 20 a night, but she has twins."

"Cool."

"You play with any dolls yet?"

"I play with my friends Jessie's dolls, but it's only fun if she is around."

"Where is she?"

"She has to spend the next week with her dad, it's one of those divorce things."

"Too bad, this is a nice party, she is missing out."

"Yeah, it's fun kind of, I feel maybe I'm too old for it."

"Nah, sometimes it's fun when there isn't anything else to do. You think of anything you want to do that you haven't yet."

"I was thinking ballet, I actually wanted to ask my dad and mom, but they were doing this party."

"Cool, ask, you can do it with us, it's only twice a week."

"Yeah," Becky added, "and you get to hang out with a lot of cool people."

"Do you all wear pink?" Emily asked.

"Some do occasionally," Rachael answered, "But the little kids are the ones that are usually all in pink, most of us wear black."

"Oh, Jessie said it was mostly pink."

"How old is she?" Becky asked rolling her eyes.

"She is seven."

"That explains it." Becky laughed. "Those little kids are adorable."

"Food's ready," Dad called out.

"We better get back to everyone else." Emily told them.

"Okay," Rachael said, "so want to be friends?"

"Yea, you bet." Emily said, smiling.

"Okay, hold your pinky out." Becky instructed.

Emily stretched out her hand and held out her pinky. Becky did the same, crossing her pinky with Emily's. Rachael did the same thing, all three pinkies were intertwined. "Okay," Becky said, "On the count of three we all say 'friends'. Ready, one, two, three."

"Friends," they all said in unison, then burst into a fit of laughter.

The three girls headed back to the party together. Emily stood in between Becky and Rachael, her arms were on each of their shoulders and each of them had their arm around her. Dad watched as they approached, noticing how happy Emily appeared to be.

"Not getting in too much trouble, were we, girls?" John asked the trio.

"No Daddy, just talking, you know girl stuff." Emily giggled.

"Okay, here's a plate, be careful not to be messy."

"Yes, sir." Each girl took a plate and made their way to the head table. At one end a nice pile of gifts accumulated.

"Your dad is cute." Rachael said.

"Why do people keep telling me that?"

"I think she needs her eyes checked." Becky joked.

The girls showed Emily how to sit down in the skirt, Emily didn't know she was doing it wrong. Or as Becky said "You're going to give everyone a show."

The party went on, the kids ate and chatted amongst themselves. They were all well dressed and that made most games out of the question. They did have a doll-shaped pinata, that burst with a bunch of candy and coupons for free sundaes and the like.

The parents had decided that the gifts probably should be opened later, after everyone left. They justified it because it wasn't a birthday or Christmas and many of the children might start begging for gifts and annoying the adults. It was coming up on 1 pm and the parents decided that it was long enough for a party. The kids had their fill of listening to music and of chatting with each other. That and they already set the record for keeping clean in nice clothes and the parents didn't want to tempt fate. Everyone began to leave, one by one.

Soon the only guest that remained was Sean.

"You going to stay forever?" Emily asked.

"No, just like being the last, someone might of left something behind really cool, that's how I plan on making my first million."

"How?"

"I Figure if everyone leaves something I can open my own Wal-Mart." Sean laughed.

"You're silly." Emily said while noticing Sean was still staring.

"Sometimes I can be, but not all the time."

"Getting used to seeing me as a girl?"

"Yes, its different, not bad different, just different. But, you are still cool."

"Thanks."

"I was wondering if," Sean trailed off, looking like he lost his nerve to ask something.

"If what?"

"If you had a good time and really like being my friend?" Sean recovered.

"Yes, the party was nice, except for Charles. I always like being your friend."

"Cool."

"Becky and Rachael think you're cute, they told me."

Sean blushed, "Cool." It looked as if he wanted to say something more, but the words never materialized.

"Well, I got to go, Mom is waiting," Sean finally spoke.

"Okay. Thanks for coming and thanks for sticking up for me."

"Anytime, ma'am." Sean tipped an imaginary hat and then took Emily's hand and kissed it, just like in the old style movies.

"You are too silly." Emily laughed while pulling her hand away.

Sean just said bye real quick and ran off to meet his mother.

Dad came up beside her, "What was that all about?"

"Sean being silly," Emily answered.

"Yeah, guys are like that around pretty girls."

"Dad, he's a boy and my friend."

"Yes, true, anyway," Dad changed subjects, "we got a surprise visitor, go to the den to meet them."

"Cool," Emily smiled and ran off. She got to the den in record time. "Nurse Rose," she squealed.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite patient?"

"You're not in white."

"No, that's just for work."

"I'm glad you came, Mom said you would."

"I know, she asked, said you were having some difficulties, too."

"Sometimes."

"Well, what do you think about being a girl, different aye?"

"Yes, all the counseling in the hospital didn't really prepare me, I don't think."

"Nah, the thinking of it and the reality are usually different."

"I noticed." Emily sat across from Nurse rose, her legs crossed at the ankles and her hand in her lap.

"Well, you are getting some things down right." Nurse Rose pointed out.

"I know, it's just a battle sometimes between the girl me and the boy me."

"Honey, a lot of people have that, you just have different circumstances."

"I know, I just wish I got used to be a girl all the time and didn't have times of not liking it."

"Well, do you spend more time liking or not liking being a girl."

"I think now more time."

"You just need to be born again a girl."

"That sounds like church."

"Kind of," Nurse Rose laughed, "just in this instead of being born to God, you let your girl side all the way out."

"Huh?"

"It's like your mom, she has a baby inside her, but that baby won't grow to be someone like you unless you let it out. If you want to be a girl, truly do, unless you let it all the way out, you won't grow and be happy."

"I think I get it."

"Good, cause I'm not sure I got it." They both laughed.

"I'm still glad you came."

"Well, I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"Next week is my wedding, I haven't any young girls in my family, I was wondering if you would do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything."

"Would you like to be the flower girl, all you have to do is sprinkle rose leaves on the floor."

"You bet." Emily smiled.

"Good, I will have the prettiest flower girl in the world."

The two sat in the den for awhile, chatting about the wedding, and the party. Before long, nurse Rose had to go, still a lot of planning to do before her wedding. She hugged Emily and went on her way.

"Have fun?" Dad asked, with Mom by his side.

"It wasn't as bad as I thought." Emily answered.

"By the look of the smile," Mom interrupted, "I'll say it went much better then you expected."

"Yes," Emily laughed. Her parents were happy to see her so joyful.

"You didn't even remember about your dress, it was like second nature."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't mind at all." Emily admitted.

"Good, you can help your dad clean up in it and then you can open your presents, deal?"

"Deal." Emily ran off to get some garbage bags.

"It's nice to see her happy." John told his wife.

"See, I told you to trust my methods," Vivian said smugly.

---

This makes for a nice stopping point. There are still presents to be opened. Oh and Emily a flower girl, sounds like fun. Next chapter should be in a week or so. I am slowing down the pace, another project has come up and I do have college classes to pass Enjoy and comment... even the negative ones inspire me to write more.

by Little Katie

Chapter 12
After the Dance

Emily met her father outside, a handful of garbage bags by her side. She casually tossed them on a table closest to the door. The yard was a mess, paper plates littered the tables and the yard had scraps of paper here and there.

"Try not to get dirty," Dad instructed.

"I could just take the dress off," Emily replied.

"Well, you still have one more visitor."

"Really, who?"

"Remember I told you about my friend Bob and how he has a child like you?"

"Oh, yeah, he wasn’t supposed to be born a boy."

"Good, you remembered."

"So what do I call her, him or whatever?"

"I guess you will decide when the time comes," Dad said giving a knowing smile as the two cleaned and talked.

"Yeah, well I hope they are nice."

"I am sure, they made those great invitations."

"Yes," Emily agreed.

"So did the party go well?"

"It was okay."

"Just okay? You seemed to be having lots of fun with your friends."

"Just with Sean and the girls, I really didn’t spend time with a lot of the others."

"Well, was the time spent with those three worth it?"

"Yes, very much so, I didn’t feel as weird."

"Getting a hang of all this girl stuff?"

"No, not really, but sometimes it's really cool."

"Well, by the way you look; I’d say you had it down pat."

"Oh, Dad." Emily blushed.

"Didn’t people tell you how cute you were?"

"Sean’s mom did, but I felt a little silly in this thing, I look like a little kid."

"You are a little kid; don’t try to grow up so fast, you got to relearn a lot of things."

"I didn’t mean like that, I meant like I was four or five."

"Did anyone say anything to you about it.”?

"No."

"Maybe Mom is better for picking the fashions, we've neither one of us been picking out girl's clothes to wear for a long time."

"I guess you're right, it does kind of feel really good."

"It looks good, too," John said as Emily bent down to pick up a stray cup, flashing her full ruffled pantied bottom to him.

The two almost finished cleaning up the yard, when a short balding gentleman entered the yard.

"Trying to clean up your messes before company comes, I see."

"Bob," John said just noticing his friend's presence.

"John, you work too hard, let the wind clean it up and entertain your guest." Bob chuckled.

"Well, you weren’t due for another fifteen."

"I like being punctual. Who is this beautiful little creature?" Bob pointed out Emily who was standing a step behind dad, using him as kind of a shield from the stranger.

"This is Emily." John put his hands on Emily’s shoulders and presented her to his friend.

Bob got down on one knee and got eye level with Emily. "You are absolutely beautiful, did you know that?"

"People keep telling me," Emily quipped.

"Believe them, they definitely aren’t lying."

Emily blushed and turned away, not yet used to hearing such praise from a stranger.

"You have yourself quite a winner here, John. She’s a keeper for sure."

"I wouldn’t trade her for all the tea in China." John said.

"That’s because you drink coffee," Emily put in.

John and Bob both laughed at the comment.

"Well, little girl," Bob addressed Emily, "I brought someone special of my own, I thought you two would like to meet."

"Yes, sir,"

"Katie, come on out, it's okay."

A small figure appeared from behind the door, it must have been watching the exchange as soon as it began. The girl that walked toward them had long flowing brown hair with a wavy look to it that reached down past her shoulders. The big blue eyes were locked on Emily. The long flowing sleeveless blue dress danced in the wind and accentuated the eyes well.

"That’s a boy?" Emily said in disbelief.

"Only on the outside," Bob explained.

"Go and talk to her, get to know her good." John put his hand on Emily’s ruffled bottom and pushed her towards Katie.

"Hi, I’m Emily." She introduced herself.

"Hi I’m Katie, how old are you?"

"I’m nine, almost nine and a half."

"Cool, I’m thirteen almost."

"You’re pretty." Emily complemented, making Katie blush slightly.

"You’re pretty, too."

The two got into small talk about the party and Emily went into the whole story to how she was changed. Katie listened in awe, fascinated by the details.

"So how is she holding up?" Bob asked John.

"Getting better."

"Still on suicide watch."

"Yeah," John said solemnly, "I took all my razors and stuff from the bathroom, but she seems to be doing better."

"It’s hard for these kids sometimes; I know Katie was thinking about it sometimes. It’s not a good thing when your outside and your inside don’t match. With Katie, things got better when she was allowed to dress the way she felt and grow her hair out."

"Yeah, my wife said we should try to force Emily to wear dresses and all, let her at least attempt to live in the body she has now."

"Well, how is she doing?"

"I don’t know, still early. Sometimes she seems perfectly happy and content being what she is, and other times I worry."

"At what other times?"

"Usually after my wife does something stupid."

"That should be a hint." Bob laughed.

"She means well, I don’t think she does things particularly out of spite."

"You know women, lot of head games."

"I hope Emily doesn’t develop that."

"Why should she? She’s got you wrapped around her finger."

"How so?"

"I can tell by your eyes, you are absolutely in love with her as a little girl."

"I loved her as a boy, too."

"Not the same way though, right, it's different with girls isn’t it, be honest."

"I suppose you are right, you go through the same thing?"

"You bet, we are much closer now that we are father and daughter. That wall that develops between sons is gone now."

"We were starting to get there, but we never did, this happened first."

"But you are happy it did, aren’t you?"

"To be honest, I am very happy. I am getting to know the real person inside, and she is remarkable. Sweet, funny and cute."

"Yes, it is amazing how we notice things, when we view them in a different light."

"So any word on getting Katie altered permanently?"

"You know how bad she wants it, but no one will touch her until she is 18. I might just go out of the country."

"That’s a possibility."

"An expensive one, I’ve been talking to some people in California."

"That’s still part of the states you know." John joked.

"But some of those doctors travel, I don’t want to go to a hack."

"I understand."

"Any way," Bob changed the subject, "you ready for the upcoming business retreat."

"I hate those things, team building exercises, we sell money, we don’t need a team."

"Don’t let upstairs hear you, your management."

"Well, at least it is only two days, I hope it’s better than last year."

"What? You didn’t like building a fort out of discarded trees in the pouring rain?"

"I still have nightmares." John laughed.

In the meanwhile, Emily was showing her guest around the house and gave the grand tour of her room, making sure to point out the stereo.

"Wow, this is great, your dad must have spent months making all this stuff." Katie Complimented.

"Nah, he always does things like this fast, he’s good with his hands."

"Always have to like a guy with good hands," Katie chuckled.

"Huh?" Emily didn’t quite get what was so funny.

"Nothing, let's have a little girl to girl chat?"

"But, you’re a boy."

"No, I’m not, Mom just put me together wrong inside her."

"But why would you want to go through all this?"

"Can we close the door for privacy and I’ll tell you."

"No, I got to keep it open, anyway we can hear people coming if the door is open."

"Okay, why I want to be a girl, I don’t"

"Then why do you dress up?"

"Let me finish, I don’t want to be a girl, I am a girl. It’s inside me."

"Oh, they made me a girl."

"Did they?"

"Yeah, 'cause I got into a wreck and when I woke up, POW! I’m a girl."

"Well, you certainly don’t seem to be fighting it any, look at you?"

"I know, Mom says I got to be."

"Have you fought her on it, have you cried and put up a fight?"

"Well, I told her I was still a boy, once."

"Once, that’s it?"

"I got slapped."

"But, you didn’t do it more?"

"No, it hurts."

Katie walked around Emily, studying every inch of her that she could see.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked.

"I was seeing if I saw any boy in you."

"How?"

"By the way you stand, you know boys stand different then girls, they talk different, too."

"Do not."

"Yes, and you definitely don’t talk or stand like you have any boy in you."

"Well, I got to hide it because of Mom."

"No, I don’t think you're hiding it, I think it's natural to you."

"Are you always this rude?" Emily started getting flustered.

"Let me ask you something?"

"Okay, but it better not be dirty."

"Not at all, do you hate everything about being a girl?"

"No."

"Do you hate half the things about being a girl, then?"

"No."

"Well how much do you hate being a girl?"

"I don’t know, maybe ten percent."

"Ten percent!" Katie exclaimed, "That’s less then
what most girls hate being themselves!"

"Is not, girls like being themselves all the time."

"Okay, what do you miss about being a boy then?"

"Baseball."

"Girls can play baseball, so that don’t count."

"Not in the majors they don’t."

"Well, that can change, were you playing in the majors before?"

"No," Emily laughed and her face became red.

"Anything else?"

"A lot of my friends aren’t my friends anymore."

"Well, if you can change back, right this minute, would you want to be their friend, knowing everything you do?"

"No, they are jerks."

"Do you hate the clothes?"

"No, I did at first a little, but they are kind of nice."

"You look cute in them too. So what do you hate about all that happened, I think you are lucky."

"Why?"

"Because I bet before the crash you wondered what it was like being a girl, maybe even dreamed about it."

"Shut up." Emily’s face got red with anger.

"Don’t worry, I won’t tell."

"Maybe I did once or twice, but--"

"It’s okay, everyone does it, I want to be a girl where my body matches everything else."

"You can have mine then."

"Listen, you can fight all you want, but I think deep down you love this. And, that’s all I’m going to say about it."

"Good."

Emily and Katie stayed in the room a while longer. Katie was full of knowledge about the difference between boys and girls and shared that with Emily. She told them how boys and girls sat different, and walked different and thought different. Katie even showed some demonstrations on how the two sides didn’t do things the same.

"I wonder if I have a girl brain or a boy brain," Emily wondered to herself.

"Do you know what’s a curtsey,?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, it’s a way for girls to bow, if you bow like a boy you flash everyone your panties."

"Oh," Emily laughed at the thought, "Can you show me?"

"Sure, you bet."

Katie found a good place to stand, one where nothing could get in her way. She put one foot behind the other, and while bending at the knee she held her skirt out.

"See, Easy."

Emily tried to do the same thing, but when she went to bend at the knee, she almost fell flat on her face.

"Don’t worry," Katie said, "it takes a little time to get it down right. Just practice, practice, practice."

Emily smiled back, feeling a little foolish about how awkward the movement had felt. She tried again.

"Good job, did we miss a performance?" A voice called from the door.

"Dad," Katie said.

"It’s time to go, honey," Bob instructed.

"Okay, bye Emily, it was fun. Think about what I told you before."

"I will, maybe you can come back sometimes, you were lots of fun." Emily left the invitation open, hoping maybe she had made a new friend.

"Ill pester my dad, he’ll bring me back."

"Let’s go, scamp." Bob put his arm around his daughter and ushered her away.

A minute later Dad came up to the room.

"You have fun?" he asked.

"Yes, she knew a lot of stuff."

"Good, hope you learned good things."

"Dad, do I have a girl brain or a boy brain?" Emily blurted out.

"I don’t know, I guess that’s really up to you." Dad sat on the bed next to his daughter.

"You mean I can choose?"

"I suppose, I think it is something that just comes to people."

"Oh."

"What brain do you think you have?"

"I don’t know anymore, the same one I always had I guess."

"Well, don’t tax you brain to hard, it will come to
you, and one day you will know for sure."

"I guess."

"Hey, there are still presents to open downstairs in the den."

"Can I open them now?"

"Yeah, that’s why I brought it up."

"Goody."

"This may sound odd, but can I carry you downstairs?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"Well, you look like such a cute little girl and I never had the privilege of carrying you downstairs as a little girl."

Emily blushed, "Yes dadda, carry me." Emily played along, putting her thumb in her mouth.

John scooped up Emily, placing his hand firmly on her ruffled bottom and letting her head rest against his shoulders. He slowly made his way down the stairs, enjoying the moment for what it was. He squeezed some of the ruffles together, playfully pinching Emily’s bottom in the process. He made it to the den, Vivian was there waiting.

"What do we have here?" Vivian asked.

"I don’t know," John played along, "I went to go get Emily and I found this precious little girl instead."

"Aw, does she want to be a baby, now?" Vivian said eagerly.

"No, Mom. I was just goofing around with Dad."

"Oh," Vivian felt a little put out that she stopped the little game.

"Okay, let’s open some presents," John said while placing Emily on the floor.

"Oh, I can’t wait." Emily said with surprising enthusiasm.

Emily sat on the couch, as the presents were laid about her. She couldn’t wait to see what she got, so she tore right through the paper.

"Look, a vanity," Mom said as Emily held up a metal box that was adorned with little white flowers. Opening it revealed a mirrored back, matching brush and comb and assorted hair accessories.

Emily opened a small box next, inside was a pair of heart-shaped earrings.

"How am I going to wear these?" She asked.

"We could go and get your ears pierced if you like, you are old enough." Mom answered.

"Really? I think I would like that."

"My, my, aren’t you a bundle of surprises today?" Dad added, noticing Emily a bit more at ease.

Emily opened a few more boxes, most of them were clothes: A mini skirt, a sheer nightgown, a few romp-around dresses and a sundress. She smiled as she opened each, happy that people thought enough to give her a gift. She then opened up some of the smaller boxes, it was as if people were on a Barbie theme, because before too long Emily was wondering who had more clothes, her or her new dolls.

Emily came to the last one.

"It’s from Charles," She said with bitterness in her voice she hadn’t displayed at any of the other gifts.

"Read the card and open it." Mom instructed.

"What every girl needs." Emily said, looking a little quizzical at the box. She then tore open the package.

"Mom, what’s a sensual massager," Emily asked looking at the long candle shaped device.

"It means it makes you feel good," Mom said while not looking too happy.

"Why would every girl need a back massager?" Emily said while she flipped the switch to make it buzz.

"They were probably being silly, let me have that." Mom took the device from Emily, turned it off and put it by the side of her. Emily knew that she was upset, but wasn’t quite sure why.

"We got a few more things," Mom broke the silence, "that are just from us."

"Oh, goody." Emily smiled.

"First," Dad handed Emily a long thin box, "Open this."

Emily pulled the ribbon to the side and pulled the lid of the top. "It’s a ballet suit." She smiled.

"We know you enjoy being athletic and when we saw you eyeing it in the store, we thought you may enjoy it." Mom said.

"Does this mean I can do lessons?"

"Yes, after the baby comes and things settle down you can."

"Great, Becky and Rachael asked me and I think I would like to a lot."

John and Vivian gave each other a look as to say, "Who is this person and what happened to our child?"

"Last one," John said handing Emily a small box, "we were debating whether or not to give it to you, but seeing the mood you are in, you might like it."

Emily opened the small box, a chain and charm greeted her eyes. "Special daughter," she read out loud and smiled.

"I love it," she exclaimed, giving her father and mother a kiss on the cheek each.

"I take it you are happy being a girl now." Mom said.

"I don’t know, but right now I’m very happy."

"Happy being a girl?" Mom probed.

"Yes, I guess so."

"Good, maybe soon you’ll like boys."

"Yuck," Emily made a face.

"Was worth a shot, maybe you should go upstairs and get into some run around clothes." Mom instructed.

"I might take a nap, I’m beat."

"Good idea, I’m beat too, I think I’ll rest on the couch." Mom told everyone.

"Dad, can you help me get out of this stuff?"

"Sure, I can give it a shot."

Emily jumped up and wrapped her arms around her father’s neck, her legs wrapped around his torso as his forearm nestled under her bottom.

"I suppose you expect to be carried around all the time now."

"Well, soon I’ll be too big to, and then you will have missed out."

"Guilt only goes so far you know," John tweaked his daughter’s nose, as she laughed.

"It works for now," Emily giggled and winked at her mother who was almost out of breath from laughing so hard.

Soon the pair made their way out of the den and up the stairs.

"Sure," Mom said to herself, "She’s a little girl with him, what about me? I’ll have my day soon, I’ll have the chance at a little girl before this one comes around." Vivian lifted her tired feet onto the couch, laid back and closed her eyes. "Sure, I’ll have a little baby Emily yet."

John opened the door leading to Emily’s room, and let her plop to the bed.

"The buttons are in the back daddy," Emily informed. "I don’t know why they would put them there, it's like they know you are going to need help. If I was by myself I’d be trapped in here forever."

"You make that sound like a bad thing."

"Well, I would get smelly after a few days." Emily laughed as John unbuttoned the dress.

"Nah, we will douse you in perfume." John went along with the joke, lifting the dress off his daughter.

"Well, I’m free now."

"That you are," John looked down at the little girl, in his eyes she looked younger than nine.

"I had fun today, lots, don’t tell Mom though."

"Why not?"

"Because, today was good, but she might think every day I will feel this good."

"So?"

"I don’t know if every day I will feel this good, and Mom don’t understand that."

"I think she does, I think even though her methods are archaic, she means the best?"

"She means the best, sure, but sometimes what she thinks is the best really hurts."

"Still mad about the banquet?"

"A little."

"Well, little pixie, I have the perfect remedy for madness?"

"What?"

"Tickle torture." John threw Emily down against the bed, running his large fingers against her sides. Emily kicked and yelled and tried to get away, but nothing prevailed.

"You can’t escape, little girl." John continued to tickle her.

"I give up, I give up." Emily screamed in delight.

"You got to give me a kiss first."

Emily reached up and kissed her father on the lips, causing him to cease. Emily lay on her bed, out of breath, near exhaustion.

"What a nice reward."

"Want to nap with me."

"I was thinking about working on my car, but tell you what, I will lay with you until you doze off."

"Great," Emily said as she pulled the ruffled panties off, "these were getting me to feel ridiculous."

"Do you think that’s a good idea?"

"What?"

"Being naked, with me here?"

"You're just Daddy."

"So you won’t do this for all the boys?" Dad tried to make light of the situation, but couldn’t help but notice that he kept looking between Emily’s legs.

"No, just you." Emily laughed, not noticing the effect she was starting to have.

"If I let on," John thought to himself, "she may think she is doing something wrong, I just got to remember she is my daughter, don’t do anything to hurt her. You wouldn’t forgive yourself."

"Come on, Dad, maybe you can tell me a story and make me go to sleep."

"Okay, sweetie." John got into the bed with his daughter, fighting the urges that were with him with all his worth. It was easy as soon as they were both under the light blanket. "Out of sight, out of mind, good." John thought to himself. He put one arm under Emily’s head and one hand gently rubbed her arm. She felt so warm that it gave John a sense of peace.

"Emily?"

"Yes, dada?" Emily mimicked baby talk.

"Why are you acting so different?"

"I don’t know, I guess I’m just getting comfortable with everything."

"So you think you want to remain a girl?"

"I don’t know, it's just clothes, on the inside I can be anything."

"I suppose you are right. What do you think you are inside?"

"I don’t know yet, I talked a lot to a lot of people, I think it’s still a battle."

"Looks like the girl is winning, honey."

"She is now, maybe for good, I don’t know. Sometimes I forget all of this and go back to how I was before. There is a lot to being a girl or a boy that people don’t think about."

"But you have to."

"Yes,"

"Well, I love you, no matter what."

"I know." Emily put her head against her father’s chest, fluttered her eyes, and fell asleep for her nap.

---

Yes, yes. I did write myself into the story. Vain, maybe a little. Actually, I introduced the character because after this story is done, the next one will be about yours truly. After the emotional trauma of chapters 8 and 9, I've been keeping things a bit light. Is life perfect, no. Is life ever perfect, only if you have some powerful mojo. Enjoy, leave comments.

Please note, this story was written in 2002. Things have changed, I have changed. I was working through a lot of different things back then, some of them scary, some of them I can't even explain any more. I hope this is still enjoyable. I am posting at the request of others.

by Little Katie

Chapter 13
Baby Emily

Perhaps the most controversial piece I ever posted

I posted this way back in 2002. I was first starting out writing stories and I wouldn't even qualify myself as an author back then. I had a loose outline, but I had no clue what I was doing. This spewed forth and big closet erupted. This was back before there was a rule about blasting author's and believe me, I got both barrels. It's something I did, something people still ask to see, so I moved it over. Feel like blasting me, have at it.

13. Thirteen. One-three. Such an odd number, filled with superstition and oddity. Well in the honor of the number 13 this chapter is strange. I almost didn’t submit it because someone submitted a similar theme. But, I was convinced to put it in anyway, enjoy.

Emily lay awake in bed, her eyes wide in perceived terror. She felt something uncomfortable between her legs, but was afraid to confirm her suspicions. She lowered her hand between her legs, sure enough it was damp. She placed her hand on the sheets, they were wet as well.

"I can’t believe it, two days in a row." Emily said out loud, almost in tears. This problem had started the morning after her father, John, had left town on business. She knew she missed her father terribly but didn't think that could really be the cause.

She got up and went to the bathroom. Running warm water from the bathroom sink, she soaked a wash cloth. After wringing it out, she cleaned the area between her legs. She took another washcloth and dried herself thoroughly. There was a knock at the door.

"Yes, Mom."

"We need to talk, miss."

"I figured," Emily opened the door. Mom did not look at all happy.

"Any explanations young lady?" Mom asked callously.

"No," Emily said, trying to search for any excuse imaginable but coming up blank. She didn't want to mention Dad being out of town as a reason, that wouldn't make Mom happy either; and besides she didn't really believe it.

"What did I say would happen yesterday if you wet the bed again.”?

"Pampers." Emily said sheepishly.

"What about them?"

"You would make me wear them again."

"Is that what you want?"

"No. Not at all."

"Then you shouldn’t pee your bed."

"I know, I don’t know why, really, I’m not doing it on purpose."

"Is it because your dad is away, maybe?"

"No, I don’t think so," Emily answered, wanting to use that excuse, but wanting to be honest at the same time.

"Maybe the pressure from everything got to you?"

"I don’t know," Emily began to cry.

"Come here, baby." Mom said the last word with a different inflection, then usual, with a kind of joy in her voice.

Emily went over and received a hug from her mother. Vivian stroked Emily’s hair and put her daughter’s head on her swollen belly.

"Listen, get the things to clean up the mattress and wash your sheets. I will let you go this last time, but next time. Do you understand?"

"Yes, mommy." Emily answered, knowing that her mother preferred that title more than any others.

"Good girl. Chop, chop, before the stain sets.

Emily ran off, getting a bottle of spray cleaner and a scrub brush to clean up the mess. She went back to her room; mom already pulled the sheets off for her. Emily sprayed the outline of the stain and scrubbed with the brush, it was hard work, but it was her mess after all. After the mattress was sufficiently cleaned, Emily took the sheets down to the washing machine. Mom had taught her how to wash linens a few days before; Emily followed the routine given to precision.

"Emily," Vivian called out from the kitchen. "Come here."

"Yes, Mommy," Emily said while entering the kitchen, greeted by her smiling mother.

"Time to get dressed." Vivian informed.

"You going to dress me again?"

"Yes, I am going to need the practice for the little one, you don’t mind do you?"

"No, Mommy." Emily answered, even though she didn’t know what correlation her being dressed up had to do with the baby coming.

"Good girl, I knew you would be a big help. Lay on the towel on the table."

Emily obeyed her mom, knowing that to argue would be an exercise in futility. Ever since her dad left the day earlier, Emily’s mom took more direct care of her. She would help her get dressed in the morning and then changed in the afternoon. Emily simply lay passively on the towel.

"Who’s my pretty, baby girl?" Mom spoke in a kind of baby talk that grated on Emily’s nerves.

"Me," Emily smiled back.

"That’s right and mommy loves her baby." Emily felt humiliated being spoken to this way. Hopefully it would end soon.

Vivian produced a small pair of frilly underwear, and slowly pulled them up her daughter’s legs. "Do these fit well," Vivian asked as her hands rested on her daughters buttocks.

"Yes, Mommy," Emily answered, not really sure what to say.

Vivian pulled her hands through the legs; her fingers ran across Emily’s slit slowly. Emily felt awkward as she did this. She wanted to object, but was scolded for suggesting such a thing occurred yesterday. She just let it go.

"You look so precious." Vivian complemented.

"I look like an infant," Emily protested.

"Well, what do you expect for someone who wets there bed, another word like that and I will take back my promise and put you in pampers right now."

Emily stayed quiet, not wanting to give her mother any more ammunition.

"Good, I see there are no objections." Vivian put a pair of frilly socks on Emily’s feet, calling them tootsies as she did. Next, Vivian sat her daughter up, putting over an overall type dress on Emily. A big picture of a happy little teddy bear holding a heart adorned the front.

"Oh my, does mommy’s little baby look cute."

"Yes, Mommy." Emily rolled her eyes, Vivian pretended not to notice.

"Thank you for the help, you are just going to be home anyway and I appreciate you playing along."

"It’s okay, Mom," Emily answered. "Maybe she is just playing a little game with me" Emily thought, she knew I was staying home today."

"I made you something special for breakfast."

"It’s not a bottle is it?"

"No," Vivian laughed, "Not unless you want one."

"No." Emily said flatly.

Mom went behind the kitchen counter and produced a big chocolate muffin. "It should still be warm, and I know you like them."

"Wow, it’s huge," Emily complimented, "thanks."

"We can go out back on the swing and spend some time together. Start enjoying each other’s company again, how does that sound."

"Great, Mommy," Emily said between a bite.

Emily and Vivian walked out to the back yard. The dress that Emily had been put in was extremely short and she could feel the breeze tease her upper leg as she walked. "I guess I don’t mind to much," Emily thought to herself, "after all it is just my mom here." The two reached the sturdy wooden swing, Emily had to help her mom sit down.

"Won’t be too long now," Vivian said as she patted her belly.

"Yeah, it's like you’ve been pregnant forever."

"Not that long, baby, but I know what you are saying."

"I bet he is big when he comes out."

"Maybe, we will see when he gets here, I hope not before your father gets back."

"If he don’t I can drive you to the hospital."

"If he doesn’t, I have made arrangements," Vivian laughed. "But, thank you very much for the offer."

"Oh, I was just saying." Emily sat down next to her mom and enjoyed having her arm stroked.

"Did you enjoy being a flower girl yesterday?" Mom changed subjects.

"Yes, it was cool."

"What was so cool about it?"

"Everyone was so nice to me, and Nurse Rose looked so pretty."

"You looked pretty too, it was nice of her to get you such a nice gown."

"I liked it a lot too. I was scared I would get it dirty, I didn’t want to eat or drink anything after."

"From what I heard you were a perfect little lady, too."

"I really tried to, no one there knew I was ever a boy except Nurse Rose."

"Did that help at all?"

"Well yeah, I didn’t think about it, I was just myself."

Vivian kissed her daughter on the forehead, "That makes me very proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because you are learning, baby. I think you are accepting what has happened to you."

"I guess, I don’t know."

"I think if you were born a girl, even knowing everything you do now, you would be having the time of your life."

"Maybe, the party was cool and the wedding was cool. But, then there are times when I feel alone, like no one knows what I’m going through."

"I think we all have that."

"Even you?"

"Yes, even me." Vivian reassured.

Emily got a strange look on her face, her eyes squinted together and her eyebrows lowered.

"What, think that’s strange?" Vivian asked.

"No, I don’t feel too good, my..." Emily struggled to get the words out. Emily tried to relieve some stomach pressure. Without warning, she began to feel her panties fill and a warm wet feeling encompassed her backside.

"Baby," Mom looked on in horror, "you didn’t."

Emily struggled for words, but the embarrassment of soiling herself was too much. She pushed away from her mother and sobbed.

"It will be okay, do you feel sick?"

Emily nodded as she cried.

"Mommy will take care of you. Here is what you do, walk to the house and take your clothes off by the door. I will give you a plastic bag and wash them right away. Then go right upstairs and see if you have any more in you and then take a warm bath. After, I will give you some medicine and you go into bed and take a nap, okay."

Emily nodded. Mom went up to the house, Emily didn’t see her smiling as she followed. She was too concerned feeling the wetness drip down her leg. She got to the door and did everything that her mother instructed her to do. She felt sick and felt sickened by the whole ordeal.

Emily got out of the tub, still shocked by what had happened. "Maybe I am really sick, I can’t control my pee-pee or my pooh." Mom came in when Emily was dry and gave her some pink medicine. Mom took Emily by the hand and placed her down on her bed.

"I put some plastic sheets down, just in case."

"Thanks, Mommy," Emily said softly not knowing what to say.

"Try to get some rest and we will see what to do later if you can’t control yourself."

"Okay." Emily grabbed her pillow and turned away from her mom. The sheet barely covered her body.

"Sleep good, I will wake you later."

Emily was surprised that she felt so tired.

"May cause drowsiness," Mom whispered, "I will have my baby girl before too long."

Vivian went in to her bathroom, she removed a small package of ex-lax from her pocket. "Better put this stuff away before it accidentally winds up in something," she laughed. She ran some warm water and stopped up the sink. She reached under the counter and grabbed a bottle of vinegar and mixed it with the still water. Then from behind the bowl she took out a baster and drew some water into it.

"This should be the last accident before I’ve decided I have had too much."

Vivian walked back to Emily’s room, baster hidden from view. Sure enough Emily was dead to the world. Mom slowly walked over to her, and moved her legs apart. She took a moment to admire the view of the little girl. "She is going to make such a cute little baby," Vivian said out loud. "At least for the day until her dad comes back." Vivian placed the baster between the child’s leg and slowly let the water come out. She made sure to get the child’s privates as well as the bed. "Makes it more convincing," Vivian thought. When she was done, she went back to her room. She got a small box out of the closet and prepared for when Emily would wake up.

An hour later the sunlight danced upon Emily’s face, causing her to wake. She felt the wetness under her bottom, "Not again," She sobbed. "What’s wrong with me," Emily pondered as she sat on the end of her bed.

"Your awake," Vivian said as she peeked through the open doorway.

"Yes," Emily said in a small voice.

"Feeling better,"

Emily simply looked down at the floor, too ashamed to answer. Vivian walked over to the bed.

"Another accident I see."

Emily nodded in agreement.

"Okay, I didn’t want to do this, but you left me no choice."

"Do what?"

"Put you in pampers."

"No." Emily yelled in protest.

"Evidently that’s what you want or you wouldn’t keep having these accidents."

"I’m too big for Pampers, they wouldn’t fit anyway," Emily said defiantly.

"Just come with me." Vivian grabbed Emily by the hand, practically dragging her to the master bedroom.

"Lay down on towel on the bed," Vivian commanded.

Emily heard some anger in her mom’s voice and did exactly what she was told. Vivian put Emily’s feet on the bed close to her buttocks and spread her knees. Vivian then got a box of baby wipes out and began to clean Emily’s groin. Vivian went painfully slow as the wet rag went over Emily’s vagina and scar. Emily did not enjoy the feeling of humiliation, but Mom took a secret delight.

"Now stay like that, baby," Vivian commanded.

"Yes, Mommy," Emily said softly.

Vivian went to the other side of the bed and produced a box.

"Isn’t that the box that my party dress came in?" Emily inquired.

"No, it’s a different box but from the same store," Vivian said as she produced a disposable diaper from the box.

Emily looked on in horror as her mother placed the diaper under her butt. Vivian then pulled the other half of the diaper over the top of Emily and fastened it like an old pro.

"How’s that feel, baby?"

"Like I’m stupid."

"It’s okay, I’m sure why ever you are having accidents will stop by the time your dad gets home, and if so we won’t have to tell them you needed this, deal?" Mom asked.

"You mean it, you won’t tell," Emily was worried about having anyone else know she was in diapers.

"Yes, but, only if you are a very good baby and do everything mommy says."

"I knew there was a catch," Emily thought as she nodded.

"Good, I need the practice of a baby anyway, so if you be mommy’s little baby girl for the next two days and you make it through the night before dad gets home without an accident, I won’t tell a soul."

Emily didn’t feel like she had any other options. "Okay, deal."

"Great, let's get little baby Emily dressed real pretty."

"Oh, great," Emily thought.

Mom pulled out a pair of ruffled panties, it was the same pair she tried on at the store. Vivian slid the panties up Emily’s leg and over the pampers. With the pampers on they were a perfect fit. Then the little baby dress that she had tried on at the store also made an appearance, Emily submissively allowed it to be put on her.

"Oh, my baby girl looks so precious."

"I don’t know how to be a baby anymore?"

"You are doing fine so far," Vivian looked down. Emily’s frilly behind stood showing to the world as Vivian placed booties on her feet.

"Here you go." Mom put a pacifier in Emily’s mouth. "This will keep you from talking back, and remember we have a deal."

Emily wanted to protest, but the thought of being exposed to her dad seemed worse than the treatment she was receiving.

Vivian came back with a digital camera and took a few pictures, "For keepsakes of my baby girl."

Emily stood up off the bed and tried to take a few steps. Walking was difficult because the diaper caused her legs to be much wider than usual and the booties made the hardwood floor of her parents� bedroom that much more slick.

"Perhaps you should crawl," Vivian suggested.

Emily simply looked at her, not knowing if it was a joke or a sincere notion.

"I mean it," Vivian said more sternly, "Crawl. It’s a part of our deal."

Emily lowered herself onto the floor, her knees and hands touched the soft carpeting. She took a few uneasy movements forward, struggling to maintain her balance.

"That’s a good baby," Vivian looked on.

"I don’t know how babies can get around like this."

"When you were a real baby you did fine, in fact I had to run just to keep up with you."

"Really?" Emily smiled.

"Yes, now let's go downstairs and get you some dinner."

Emily crawled out of the room with mom right behind her. Vivian smiled when she saw Emily’s frilly panties in full view. When they arrived at the staircase, Vivian held onto Emily’s hand as they made their way down the stairs. Vivian lead Emily into the den, a small blanket was stretched out in the middle of the floor. An assortment of plush dolls and a baby rattle was there as well.

"Lay down on your blankie as mommy gets you some din-din."

Emily crawled to the blanket and rolled her eyes when she was sure that her mother couldn’t see. She laid herself down on the blanket, enjoying the soft, fluffiness of it.

"You make such a pretty baby girl, I’m glad we are making up for what we missed."

Emily smiled back, not sure exactly what to say.

"Here you go," Mom placed a pacifier in Emily’s mouth, "Be a good wittle baby while mommy-wommy is getting your din-din."

Emily stared up thinking, "She has lost her mind." Emily laid there sucking on the pacifier as her mother left the room. The pacifier had a very calming effect on the child and before long Emily was enjoying it. "It’s not that bad, kind of makes me feel safe for some reason," She thought as she played with two stuffed animals.

"Oh," Vivian said, "I see someone is being a very good baby and playing nicely."

Emily made a small wave with her hand, not being able to speak with the pacifier in her mouth. Vivian lowered herself down on the sofa and beckoned Emily to come to her. Emily rolled onto her stomach and crawled to her mother and then onto the sofa.

"Time for din-din, baby girl, lay on your back."

Emily lay on her back and Vivian adjusted so Emily’s head was on her mother’s lap. Vivian produced a bottle from her pocket, Emily looked in horror.

"Remember our deal," Vivian told her, "Think it's only for a day or so." Vivian shoved the bottle into Emily’s mouth after removing the pacifier. Emily didn’t fight or push it away, instead she passively allowed it to happen.

"Besides, baby girl, I put some medicine in it to help you not pooh-pooh."

Emily smiled, hoping at least that will get taken care of. She lay on her mother’s stomach drinking from the bottle as her mother stroked her hair and cooed at her. It wasn’t too long until Emily had finished all the milk from the bottle.

"What a good baby, drink it all up."

Emily nodded.

"Mommy is very proud of you."

"Mommy, I got to go?" Emily informed.

"So?"

"I need help to get out of this stuff."

"No, you don’t"

"How can I use the potty in this stuff?"

"You are in your potty, just go."

"Mom!" Emily protested.

"Okay, in a second, little spoil sport." Vivian rubbed the child’s belly, "You look like such a beautiful baby."

Emily smiled. Vivian began to tickle her side, causing her legs to kick and Emily to laugh.

"Look at the happy baby," Vivian said while making funny faces.

"Mom, stop, I’m going to wet." Emily tried to warn but that made her mom tickle harder. Emily couldn’t control herself anymore, she felt the warm liquid leave her body. Vivian kept right on tickling, Emily couldn’t regain herself to stop.

"Mommy, I wetted." Emily informed as she looked downcast.

"It’s okay, you’re a baby, and babies do that. Mommy will change you. Lie right here as I get a fresh dipie." Vivian said as she put the pacifier back into Emily’s mouth and then went away.

Emily lay on couch, well aware of the warm liquid that invaded her middle. She wanted to cry from the embarrassment of the whole situation, but decided it would probably make the situation worst. Emily concentrated on sucking the pacifier, which for a reason she couldn’t explain made her feel at peace. A minute had past when mom came back into the room carrying a new diaper and a small blue box of baby wipes.

"What a good wittle baby-waby," Vivian cooed. "Mommy-wommy is going to cwean you awl up, yes I is."

"Mom?" Emily took the pacifier out of her mouth.

"Yes, baby."

"Are you going to talk like that all the time?"

"Oh, let me have my fun, spoil sport."

"I was just wondering, that’s all."

"No, I probably won’t talk like this all the time, now let’s get you changed."

"Yes, Mommy."

Vivian smiled down at Emily, knowing that she somehow managed to have a baby girl, even if for a little while. She reached down and pulled down the ruffled pair of underwear. Emily stayed there, passively allowing all to occur, not really knowing how she arrived at this predicament.

"Oh my, how much you wet," Vivian commented as she saw the yellow outline on the diaper. "Time to get these off as well."

Vivian didn’t need to pull up the dress, it was short enough that she could reach the tabs without moving them. She slowly unfastened the tape and pulled down the front part of the diaper, revealing Emily’s bottom.

"Look what I see," Vivian said cheerfully. "I can see why Jessie likes to look."

Emily didn’t answer, after all what could she have said back that wouldn’t sound wrong. Vivian removed the diaper from under the child and grabbed the box of baby wipes.

"Let’s get you all clean, don’t want you to develop a rash."

Vivian slowly and gently placed the wipe on Emily’s vagina. Emily was startled by the cool feeling and hop back a half inch, her mother just followed. Vivian slowly began to wash, going up and down with great care. After a few seconds Vivian began to go a little harder, arranging her middle finger so it rubbed the middle of Emily’s slit, causing it to part.

"Mom?"

"Yes, baby," Vivian answered sounding like she was getting out of breath.

"I think it's clean?" Emily said, feeling that somehow something was wrong.

"I suppose we don’t need the baby wipe then." Vivian tossed the baby wipe in a small trashcan, Emily felt relieved. But, two seconds later Vivian’s bare hands returned to the child’s vagina and rubbed again.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Emily cried.

"Making you feel good, don’t you like it."

"No!" Emily said while she jumped back.

"Why do you let your dad get close and not me?"

"Maybe because dad doesn’t do that kind of stuff."

"I was just trying to make you feel good."

"I don’t want you to make me feel good like that."

"Why won’t you let me get close like you do your father?"

"Maybe because he doesn’t do mean things all the time." Emily yelled and ran up the stairs as best she could. She ran into her room and locked the door.

"That didn’t go as planned," Vivian told herself. Vivian walked up the stairs and knocked on the child’s bedroom door.

"What?" Emily yelled through the door.

"Open up, baby."

"No!"

"Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get all upset."

"Say you're sorry." Emily commanded.

"I’m sorry, really I am, I just want you to be happy."

"Sometimes you don’t act like that," Emily replied as she unlocked the door.

"Thank you, baby," Mom said as she entered, "I’m really sorry, could you ever forgive me?"

"Yes, but that downstairs didn’t feel right."

"I’m sorry, I won’t do it again."

"Okay, I forgive you."

"Will you do me a favor, can you still be Mommy’s baby for the next day, I won’t tell your dad you been wetting either way you chose."

"Will it make you happy?"

"Yes, I always wanted a baby girl, at least this way I can have one for a day."

"Yes, Momma." Emily said as she hopped on the bed and put her thumb in her mouth.

"Thank you baby, I do love you, you know."

"I know, Momma." Emily laid there passively as her mother put a fresh pair of pampers on her.

Vivian sat on the bed and placed her daughters head on her lap and stroked her hair.

"I was trying to make you feel good downstairs, I would never hurt you."

"It kind of felt good," Emily replied, "but wrong at the same time, kind of like at the doctor's."

"Maybe if you were ready for it, maybe if I didn’t just do it without you knowing it was coming."

"I don’t know, I just know what I felt then."

"Well, can I know, would you like me to make you feel good like that?"

Emily thought for a second, "No, it just doesn’t seem right, and I feel good just like this, okay?"

"Okay," Vivian replied.

"I thought, you thought it was wrong, anyway."

"Well, I changed my mind, anyway you are probably right, I shouldn’t be doing that to you. I was just curious, if you can understand that."

"I can, I was curious with Jessie until you got all mad."

"Well, I should follow my own rules. I’m going to rest, you play here like a good baby, come get me if you need a changing."

"Yes, Momma." Emily smiled as her mother closed the door as she left.

"Vivian," she spoke to herself, "you really need help, you really went too far this time, and you tried twice, what’s wrong with you."

Vivian went to her bed and lay down. Tears began to trickle down her face. "Something is definitely wrong with me, what the hell have I been doing."
________________________________________

I told you it was strange, not too bizarre, just different. Seems that Vivian got her wish, and got her baby girl. Did she go too far, what are the ramifications of her actions? She seems to be a bit remorseful there at the end.

Author's Note: I am still that person who wrote this and I am not the person who wrote this, if you could understand that. This is part of my past and I won't deny it any more than I would deny that I wrestled or that I was abused growing up. Am I pleased with it. No. I was working through stuff back then and, oh well. I will take all request for me to remove myself from the site into consideration. (by the way, this isn't the worst chapter of the story)

Comment, be mean, Ive been through it before.