They moved into the living room. The old but comfortable sofa welcomed them both. They sat apart, but at a angle so they could talk. Michelle's knees touched Sam's. Unwilling to part from such an understanding warm presence.

"So how long have you felt this way Michelle?"

She thrilled at being called by her female name. Until today no one had ever called her anything but Micheal, or freak.

"I knew when I was seven years old. I tried my mother's clothes on. She indulged me, much to the disgust of my stepfather. He called me a freak and threaten to beat it out of me."

"It's so sad how people think along rails. There is very little difference between males and females. We as humans amplify them. You are a man so therefore you will act this way and wear this."

"My mother indulged me, but only when my father wasn't about. He grew to hate me."

"Did you know we all start of as female, but our XX, or XY, chromosomes determine how we develop. Testicles are like a descended womb. The clitoris is a shortened penis. Vaginal lips are the same skin as scrotal tissue. The...."

"Please Sam too much detail!"

Sam noticed her nose wrinkled when she laughed.

"Sorry, always on as a surgeon. What I mean is sex is of the body, gender is of the mind. If you feel like a woman you need to express yourself as one. Have you ever been out as Michelle?"

"What! good god no. My mother died when I was eleven and my step father threw all my girls stuff away. He said he would throw me out if he saw me in anything girly."

"You need to go out, relate to the world as Michelle, see how it relates to you."

"I can't people would laugh, they would all see I'm a man."

Sam dragged her up, and stood her in front of the mirror in the hall.

"Look at yourself. All I see is a very attractive women. You even painted your nails."

"I have had plenty of practice. I hadn't dressed since I was eleven.I tried to fight it. But being alone in a house with a bedroom full of women's clothesI couldn't help it. When I found the wig it just seemed like fate."

"Come out with me now. Come for a walk."

"I can't I'm too scared."

"Look Michelle, you need to realise you are an attractive woman, think that you are and that's what people will see. I'll be there nothing will happen. Just trust me I'm a doctor."

She laughed at that remark and dried her eyes.

"Just a suggestion, get some lower heels and a handbag. You may want a coat it's getting a little nippy."

"I have studied every makeup and deportment video on youtube in the last year. I do know what to wear and when, Mr doctor. Ok, I'll come if it's doctors orders."

She went to the bedroom. She put on some low heel wedge court shoes and a plain, mid length black coat. She checked her look in the mirror. She saw a attractive looking housewife type of women looking back. This might work she thought. She headed down the stairs, her heart and stomach doing cartwheels.

Sam linked arms with her and they headed toward the town. As they passed the station there was a throng of people, a train must have arrived. Hertford East was the end of the line, so there were never too many. They passed the couple without a second glance.

In the town Sam stopped to look at a menu in the bistro. He saw their reflection in the window, a good looking couple he thought. He saw Michelle's radiant smile. She was happy. This was the right thing to do.

Sam led her through the town to Hertford castle. He loved history and felt he need to explain it to her.

"See that mound, that was the original motte. There was a building on top. Just after 1066, the Normans forced the local to build the mound then the build walls around the base."

"You love history don't you"

They crossed the bridge into the castle grounds. On the other side of what was once the moat, they held hands. She looked into his eyes.

"Tell me more. I've lived here for two years, and didn't known any of this."

"We must remember our history Michelle. Those in the past have made many mistakes, so we don't have to make them again. They way beautiful, special people like you were treated for instance. We should accept people for what they are, not what we expect."

She wanted to reach up and kiss him. She didn't need to. He lent down and kissed her. Her arms around his neck, she cocked her right leg up as she reached up meeting his kiss.

"Sorry Michelle, I just couldn't help it."

"I would have kissed you if you hadn't Sam."

They walked around the grounds and Sam explained that the castle gatehouse was built about 1170 and rebuilt 1463. Parts of the wall may be 800 years old. The French captured the castle for a year in 1215.

She stopped him again reached up for another kiss.

"I think you are capturing my heart Sam. I'm falling in love with you. It's scary, I've never felt this way about anyone. You're too good to be true."

"I feel the same way about you. I have always found special ladies like you very attractive. Some women are feminine by nature, some just don't bother. Women now seem to treat their femininity as a weakness and reject it. Special women like you crave it and cherish it. Femininity is a strength that compliments masculinity. My wife seemed very feminine until I married her. Then I realized she used it to bag herself a rich doctor. Well I'm not rich now."

"I don't care about that. I just love they way you understand me. I've never told anyone about myself, but with you it felt easy."

"My wife called me a pervert because I looked at pictures of gender reassigned women. I'm sorry if I seem old fashion, but I enjoy feminine women."

"Were they naked pictures?"

"I'm a doctor, how many women do you think I've seen naked?"

She laughed.

"Point taken."

"I would love to have a relationship with you Michelle, but I'm afraid as soon as we get serious you will start wearing jeans and men's shirts like my wife did."

She kissed his cheek and said.

"I wouldn't care if I never wore a single pair of trousers again in my life. These clothes feel so right, so me."

"I really am falling for you Michelle."

He showed her the rest of the castle and had one more surprise for her.

"The main building there was home for Elizabeth the first as a child. There was a myth she was a man. The myth said Elizabeth died of the plague just before Henry, her father was to visit. So they took a village boy called Neville and dressed him as Elizabeth to avoid Henry's anger. That's why she was the virgin queen."

"Wow, was that true. I wouldn't have minded being Neville if it were."

"No, just a rumor, that's all. Do you fancy a drink in the Six Templar's?"

The pub was just outside the castle wall. Michelle knew it well, as it was the least expensive pub in Hertford. She was worried she would be recognized and didn't want to spoil her perfect day.

"How about we get some wine and take it home?"

They left the off licence, and walked home hand in hand, looking forward to an interesting night to come.

©Leeanna19 2022

There was a chill in the air by the time they walked through the front door. Sam went into the kitchen to get glasses and a cork screw. Michelle lit the old log effect gas fire and turned on the old radio gram. It took a few seconds to warm up as it was the pre-transistor valve type. Michelle loved it as it had a deep rich sound.

She flicked through her LP's and selected Lou Reed's Transformer. She loved collecting classic vinyl albums. She put the record on the turntable and closed the lid.

The music started as Sam came through to the living room with the wine and some nibbles on a tray.

"Classic, Lou Reed, don't tell me you like this type of music too?"

"I love Pink Floyd, the Beatles, Iron Maiden, Fleetwood Mac, ELO and many of the 70's and 80's bands."

"I can't believe it. I love that era too. Vinyl gives such a warm feel, I love hearing the crackle between tracks."

"That radiogram must be fifty years old, but I love the sound."

They chatted about music they liked and disliked for a few minutes, then Perfect Day was playing.

"Thank you so much for today Sam, it was my perfect day. You made me so happy. I got to experience a day as a woman."

"You are a woman Michelle a very spec..sorry I have to stop calling you that. You are a wonderful person. Why does it have to be just for today. Stay here as a woman full time."

"I can't I need a job to pay the rent. I'm down to my last few hundred pounds. I have to be a man to work."

"Michelle, I'm your landlord.For your sake and mine, stay as Michelle. I'll pay the bills. I want you to be happy. I want Michelle in my life."

Michelle sobbed, and Sam moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her in close.

"It's ok, just let it out."

Michelle told him about all the pain she felt growing up. The encounters she had with boys when she thought she may have been gay.

"It's understandable Michelle, many trans people go through the same thing. These names like trans,Bi, gay are just labels though. If you look at a mouse or a dog, can you see if it is male or female without looking between it's legs? Do they act differently? No. As I said to you before, It's just what we humans do. We put things into boxes to understand the world. Some people get scared if you don't stay in your little box. it's bullshit really. You are a woman and you should live as one if you wish."

She turned her head and kissed him, her tongue exploring his. He lent into her pushing he back into the sofa. Her hand fell down to his leg and found the hard protrusion there. Her eyes widened.

"Did I do that?"

"Sorry Michelle, I can't help it. I'm attracted to femininity. You exude it."

"I'm flattered. Let me see if I can help you with it."

She started to unzip his trousers,but Sam stopped her.

"You don't have to Michelle."

"No please I want to, I owe you, let me do this for you."

"You owe me nothing, I just enjoyed a day with a beautiful woman."

She kissed him and undid his belt. Their breathing became heavier. Sam's hand caressed her stockings, and moved up as high as the suspenders. She grabbed his wrist.

"No please, I'm don't want you to touch me there. Just lay back."

Sam relaxed and lay back. Michelle gently caressed his ridged member. She pulled his trousers completely off, then went to the bathroom to retrieve a bottle of baby oil. She coated his member and his balls and gently resumed pleasing her man. He right hand was stroking his twitching penis in slow sensuous movements, while her left gently massaged his balls.

Sam had never had this from his wife. Sex with her was like a chore, she just kept asking him to hurry up. Michelle was driving him wild.

His eyes were growing wide and his breath quickening. She knew he was close. She lent down and took the head into her mouth, sucked and swirled her tongue around . He exploded, pumping his seed into her mouth. She swallowed it, and licked him clean.

"Oh god that was amazing, please let me do something for you."

"You already have. Just treating me and wanting me as a woman has given me the best day of my life. Were you serious about letting me live here as a woman?"

"Yes Michelle, I'll buy you whatever you need. You can keep the place tidy, shop, cook, clean. Play the housewife if you like. I certainly want you as my girlfriend."

"No Sam, if you like. Do you want me chained to the kitchen sink? Are you into bondage?"

She laughed at his feigned shock.

"When I said I'd get you whatever you needed I didn't mean chains. You can help with the renovation though, it needs a woman's touch."

©Leeanna19 2022

They talked into the early hours of the morning. Sam told her that he had been involved with an on off relationship with his room mate in medical school. He said the sex was very infrequent as he never felt fully comfortable with being with another man. The only time they had sex he used to insist his room mate wore a pair of knickers that one his old girlfriends had left behind. His room mate soon tired of this.

Michelle told him before he dropped out of uni, he had had several boyfriends. He was usually the passive partner. He was often refereed to as a pretty boy.

"Well that makes sense Michelle. Femininity is as passive force. Yielding, but powerful. I sensed it in you the day I met you. I honestly then read you as gay."

"Well I suppose I am aren't I?"

"Did you dress with your boyfriends?"

"No, I was afraid of being called a freak. That still hurts when I think about it."

"Well it's not your step-father's fault really. He's been conditioned to think like that all his life. I bet he hates gays and lesbians."

"Huh, yeah he does. He had a stack of lesbian porn mags next to his bed though."

"Typical bloke really. You disgust me, but can I watch."

She laughed. He was so easy to talk to, and had so much empathy.

"Do you see yourself as women sexually Michelle?"

"I'm trying to work that out. I thought I was gay, but it never really clicked. I dated a girl once, but I just wanted to get into her knickers, quite literally . She sensed I wasn't masculine enough and dumped me after the second date. I like men, but from a female perspective. I like it when you hold me I feel protected. I makes me feel calm and wanted."

"That sounds like a very female response to me. Can I hold you again?"

They drew closer, and she sunk her head into his chest and felt his arms wrap around her.

"It's going to be alright Michelle. You are going to be what you should have been. I will do everything I can for you."

She looked up with shiny eyes on the verge of tears.

"Why? why help me you hardly know me?"

"Well I can see you are in pain. My job is to help those in pain and I think I'm falling for you. Sorry I said that, I don't want to scare you off."

She kissed him.

"Lets just see where this goes. I feel the same way about you, but please give me time."

"You have all the time in the world. How about a date? Saturday I'll take your for a meal in Hoddesdon. There's a nice pub by the river."

"It's a date, I'll find something nice to wear from all the women's clothes you own."

"What? I don't own any, oh!"

"It's your house, so they are your clothes."

"Ok, I hereby gift you all of the clothing in the main bedroom. In fact you should move in there. It's a woman's bedroom, a woman should be living there."

"Thank's Sam I'll move in tomorrow."

They both said goodnight and went to their own rooms.

The next day while Sam was at work Michelle sorted through the clothing properly. She had only ever taken the odd item. She was afraid of being caught or some realizing what she had been doing. It was dead women's wardrobe after all.

She opened all the drawers and found a treasure trove. There were girdles, panti-girdles, corselettes, and bra's. Some of the foundation wear was in sealed Marks and Spencers packets. She found four packets of unopened vintage nylon stockings. There were many pairs of cotton granny pants, she thew those away. She even found some long leg, silk bloomers. These had lace at the edges of the legs. They must have been a real turn on fifty years ago. She decided to keep these as she wanted to see what they felt like to wear.

She went through the dresses. Many were vintage. Not quite to her liking , but too nice to throw. By the end of the day she had tried on most of the coats,skirts,blouses, dresses, shoes and even some cardigans. She sorted out two bags of clothes for the charity shop. She really needed some more modern lingerie. She liked the idea of the foundation garments and decided to keep most of the ones that fitted her.

She would talk to Sam about it when he got home. She showered and changed into the silk bloomers. They felt absolutely wonderful. The silk caressed her legs and bottom as she walked around the bedroom. She had to take them off to put the black corselette and stockings on. She put the bloomers back on over them and felt the elastic break on the waist. They were very old and she made a mental note to buy some elastic when she went shopping. She opted for a pair of plain black knickers that were in one of the unopened packets.

She put on a full silky black slip with a nice lace edge. You don't see these now she thought. She loved the silky feel though. She stuffed the bra part of the corselette with tights and stockings. Breast forms were something else she would talk to Sam about. The dark blue dress looked so much better now she was molded into a more feminine shape by her underwear. She sat at the vanity and did her makeup. Finally she put on her wig and stood to see the results.

She felt joy like never before. This woman, this pretty woman in retro clothes was her. She turned and admired the dress swish around her legs. She felt confidence flow through her. She would go shopping and buy something nice and cook dinner for Sam. She wondered what he would think of her look. She would find out later, but now she felt happy to be, and feel like her own woman.

She slipped into a pair of black two inch court shoes, put on a mid length leather coat with a wide collar and picked up her handbag. As she headed towards Tesco's, she wondered if her hair was long enough for a woman's style. Perhaps she should get her ears pierced at he same time? She felt so confident she thought she could face doing something like that for the first time in her life. She owed Sam so much. The wonderful man who believed in her. She was going to cook him a nice meal to show him how much she appreciated what he had done for her.

She smiled at passers by, and noticed the approving glances from men of all ages. This was her new life, she thought. They see a pretty woman, not a freak. The demons from her past were slowly leaving her. She got a trolley and wandered down the aisles looking for things she thought Sam would like.

The possibilities were now endless.

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle picked up a couple of sirloin steaks and vegetables to go with them. She wasn't read while she walked around, she just looked like any other woman in the shop. This gave her an enormous sense of satisfaction.

While there she browsed the rack with tights and stockings. This was something she'd always wanted to do, but always felt people would think she was a pervert when dressed a man. Odd that she thought. You often she women looking through men's underwear in shops. No one thinks that's strange. You assumed they were buying for there men, or you just didn't care. After all, not exactly exciting are they, men's boxers. The only time he used to feel comfortable looking at lingerie in a shop was near valentines day or Christmas.

The thought occurred to her. Now she was a woman, she could look through all the women's shops in the town. Matalan's was just across the road! She stopped herself. Her bank balance would be down to double figures soon. She would have to see if Sam was good on his word.

Panic hit her. She'd have to use her card to pay, it had her male name on. Then she realised how stupid this was. No one would look at it, it wasn't the 1990's.

Standing in the queue she heard a voice.

"Excuse me luv."

She turned to see a old lady supported by a walking frame. She replied softly.

"Yes, is everything alright?"

"That's a lovely dress. I used to have one just like it. That was fifty years ago though. Where did you get it."

"Oh my aunt died and she had a cupboard full of vintage clothes. I thought they were too nice to throw away."

"Well it looks beautiful on you dear."

"Next please."

Michelle turned and said goodbye to the old lady and started packing her shopping into her flowery bag. She paid and felt a surge of pride. She had spoke to a woman and she never thought she was anything other than another woman.

Walking back to the house she felt optimistic. This might actually work! She could fulfill her dream of living as a woman. She got back home and snt a text to Sam asking what time he would be home as she was cooking dinner. Sam replied saying he would be home around six thirty.

She turned on her laptop and browsed the Matalan website for clothes that she would need. She would ask Sam after dinner. Around five she put on an apron that had been hanging in the cupboard and started preparing dinner. She felt like the perfect little housewife, in the kitchen, getting dinner ready for her man. She felt at peace. This is what her life could be now if Sam wasn't lying. She had never had faith in anyone like she had in Sam. He was her knight in shining armour. He rescued her, and was going to change her life.

Sam arrived as she was setting the table. She lit a candle in the center as Sam took his coat off.

"Special occasion?"

"Just a special thank you to you."

"I'll change and have a quick wash. Down in five."

They sat chatting enjoying the excellent steak.

"I love the way you cooked the chips, skin on. Much better than the frozen ones."

"I'm glad you like it. I'm attempting to become a domestic goddess for you."

"Well you look like one. That dress suits you."

"I wanted to ask you about what you said. About buying me the clothes I need."

"Sure Michelle, I meant it. I have some thing to show you. Lets go and sit in the lounge.

They went though to the lounge and Michelle put Dark Side of the Moon on the radiogram. She turned it down low so she could see listen to Sam.

"I got some information for you at the hospital today, here take a look."

She saw leaflets on gender reassignment and hormones. There were even leaflets on breast enlargement and facial feminisation from a private clinic.

Her heart rose up to choke her.

"You bastard! I fucking believed in you. I thought could trust you, I have never trusted anybody like that. I think i even loved you! You're just like my fucking step dad. You think I'm a freak, you want to cut me up and pump me full of pills."

She ran sobbing her heart out up the stairs. She slammed and locked her bedroom door.

"Michelle please it's not like that. I was only trying to help. Please listen."

Between her sobs she replied.

"No piss off I'm leaving. I'll be gone by tomorrow night."

"No Michelle, please don't go, I love you. just...."

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle sobbed herself to sleep. Anger, sadness and fear made a tight ball in her chest that prevented her from breathing easily. Eventually she dropped off. When she woke she had that brief feeling of amnesia, then the full reality of what had happened the night before came rushing back.

She had no money, but had to leave. She had thought she had found someone who actually accepted her for just being her. The disappointment was raw in her mind while she sat up in bed and considered her options. The only place she could go was back home to her stepfather. If she did it would mean giving up being Michelle. What could she do? She couldn't stay here after last night.

She made the call.

"So what do you want you little pussy. Want me to show how to be a real man?"

"Dad, I need to come back for a little while. Is that OK?

"Why should I let a little queer like you back in the house?"

"You know half the house is mine. Mum left it to both of us. I could force you to sell to pay me off."

"Then you'd never see the place again. I know how fond you are of the place you used to ponce around in dressed as a sissy girl."

"Listen I don't want to argue. I'm coming home tomorrow. I'll stay out of your way, you won't even know I'm there."

"Don't try to throw your weight around with me princess, or you'll feel the back of my hand like you used to."

She put the phone down. This was her only option. She was scared of what he stepfather might do. He had tried to bully her into signing over her half of the house a few times before. He was still a violent drunk.

She went downstairs to make herself some breakfast wrapped in a silk kimono she had found in a drawer. She would miss being Michelle so much, but she couldn't stay after what she had said to Sam.

On the table was a letter. She expected it was notice to terminate her tenancy. She opened it and read it.

My dearest darling Michelle,

Please accept my heart filled apology for my thoughtless actions last night. I couldn't sleep thinking of how I must have made you feel. I don't think you are a freak. I think you are a precious butterfly that I have been privileged to witness and help emerge from its cocoon.

Please forgive me. My actions were one of a doctor who seeks to heal. Being a surgeon I try to help through surgery, and sometimes forget that surgery is not the only answer. The trans people I meet all want surgery and I just wrongly assumed you were the same.

You are a women, whatever path you take, and it tears my heart out to think what I carelessly did to you. Please don't go. I want to help you along your journey and to help you realise what wonderful person you are.

If you go, just know I will always be here for you, to offer an ear, a hug or advice. It is a privilege to have known you.

I have to work late today, and won't be back until nine. I won't call. I will leave you to make your own decision. If you go just turn off all the lights. If you decide to stay, please turn the living room light up full with the curtains open. I would just like to know if I'm walking into a house of warmth and love or empty shell.

Before you decide, please turn on the radiogram. There is a message from me to you ready to play.

Tears were falling on to her kimono as she went through to the living room. She turned on the radiogram.The record had started to play before the valves had warmed enough to allow the sound. Then it came fading in, until she heard.

You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

You are so wonderful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
Can't you see

As Joe Cocker voice filled the room she collapsed on to the sofa and sobbed.

Sam had hard a hard day at the hospital. He found it hard to concentrate. He had nearly called Michelle several times during the day but had resisted. This had to be her decision. His heart started to beat faster as her neared the last corner to their house. He had forced himself not to speed on his way back. He was desperate to find out what she had decided.

As he turned the corner, he was startled. Every light in the house was on. All the curtains were open and some of the windows had lamps glowing in them.

He parked the car and ran to the door. She was staying!

©Leeanna19 2022

Sam rushed through the front door and saw Michelle waiting. She choked on her words.

"I'm so sorry Sam. You treated me better than I have ever deserved, and I threw it back at you. I'll go if you want."

Sam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. He kissed her forehead, and said.

"I'm sorry too Michelle. I should not have assumed you wanted to change gender completely. I just thought I was helping. Now I see how thoughtless I have been. I would love you to stay. My offer to help you with your new life still stands."

She hugged him tighter. It was going to be ok. She would talk to Sam and explain how she felt and being Michelle.

"I haven't cooked. I wasn't sure if you were going to throw me out until I read your note. It was beautiful. The song had me in tears. I haven't had the chance to shop."

"No problem, pizza alright?"

Sam ordered a pizza and they sat talking, eating and drinking wine until well passed eleven o'clock. Michelle told Sam she would like to take things slow. Cutting parts off was a huge step from dressing as a woman. She did feel so much more comfortable living as woman. Sam suggested that she might consider breast implants as they were reversible, but would help her body image.

"So you're a breast man are you?" she gave him a wicked smile.

"I guess you could say I'm a Michelle man."

They kissed and hugged and their breathing grew labored. Michelle's hand brushed Sam's groin. Her eye's widened when she felt his hardness through his trousers. She started to unzip his fly. He stopped her.

"No, you don't have to. I just find you so attractive."

"I won't lie Sam. I have been wanting to do this for a while now."

Sam eased back into the sofa while Michelle slipped between his legs. She took him slowly and gently into her mouth and looked up at his face as she did. She watched his expression change as she tried different things. She remembered what she liked from the few times someone had done this to her. She quickened her pace.

"Michelle I'm going to..."

Michelle kept going as he finished. He helped her back onto the sofa."

"That was wonderful. Can I return the favor?"

"Another time perhaps. I'm still not sure how I feel about that part of my body. I am happy I can take care of my boyfriend that way. I promise I'll get better."

"So you're my girlfriend now? That saves me asking you."

Sam got up and went to the hall and got out his wallet.

Michelle pretended to look shocked and put on a high pitched voice.

"Well guv, I normally charges fifty quid for da murth, but as I kept me draws on you can av it for forty."

"Very clever Eliza Doolittle. Here take this credit card. You can spend forty five pounds without the pin, but over that you will need my pin number. I'll write it down for you."

"Why do I need that?"

"Your vintage clothes are nice, but I want my girlfriend to be stylish. You can't tell me you don't want to go clothes shopping."

"What girl doesn't. Are you sure it's ok . I'll be careful, and won't spend much."

"You get what you need my love. If you saw what my wife used to spend every month, on god knows what, you wouldn't believe it. Get something nice. I'm booking a restaurant for tomorrow night. I want to show you off."

She kissed him and they hugged.

"I need to work a few things out Sam, but soon I would like you to share my bed."

"In your own time. I will never rush you again."

As they went to there own rooms Sam called out.

"I should be home a little earlier tomorrow. Goodnight darling. i Love you."

He closed his door.

He loves me. Michelle felt like her heart was going to stop. No one had said that to her since her mother died. She went to bed feeling better than she had in days

She got up early and woke Sam with a cup of coffee, just as he liked it.

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"I want to look after my boyfriend, that's all. It feels right. Do you want toast or porridge? That's all we have."

"Toast would be great, and another cup of coffee please. If you get a chance today could you do a big food shop?"

She left him to shower while she busied herself in the kitchen. She felt very "domesticated". She thought back to when she admired her mother flitting about the kitchen, humming to herself. She was doing a thousand things at once, but seemed so happy, taking care of her family. She had always wanted to be like her mother.

After breakfast they kissed goodbye at the front door. Just before the door closed she called after him.

"I love you!"

Your turn she thought.

She hurried to shower change and do her makeup. She really needed new makeup. Some of what she had must be years old. She looked at her hair and wondered if it was long enough for a women's style. She thought in a few more weeks, possibly.

She went to a chemist to get some makeup and paid by tapping the card. She thought to get a bottle of Armani perfume, but it was almost twice the online price. She was smiling as she strolled towards Matalan. This was the first time she had ever shopped for women's clothes openly.

She was like a kid in a toy shop. She tried on at least ten different dresses, as well as skirts blouses and tops. The thing she enjoyed most were the shoes. She tried on a pair of black stiletto boots. They had a three inch heel and a buckle on the ankle. They just looked so sexy. After buying a selection of French, bikini, and string knickers she picked up several bra's. Lastly she headed to the hosiery. She picked out four pairs of stockings. She had already found black and a white suspender belts, so she got stockings to match.

She struggled with the bags walking home. No one during the whole trip had given her an "off" look. As far as everyone was concerned, she was just another women on a shopping spree.

After opening everything and put it away. She checked the time. It was nearly three! Had she really spent all day clothes shopping. She giggled as she thought typical woman. She had better go and get the food Sam asked for. She couldn't resist wearing her new boots. She loved the way they shaped her feet. The pointed toes looked so feminine.

Standing in the hall with her bags in hand she checked her refection. There was a knock on the door. Must be a delivery for Sam she thought.

She opened the door.

"I'm here to see my step son, where's Micheal."

A thousand thoughts raced through her head. Not him, not now! Perhaps he wouldn't recognize her.

"He doesn't live here, You must have the.."

Tommy, her stepfather shoved her inside and slammed the door.

"You fucking little freak. Do you think I wouldn't recognize you. You're a sick excuse for a man. I should have beat this shit out of you when you were younger. Well I'm going to do it now. "

"Don't you dare touch me you evil bastard. I'm a woman!"

"Well after I beat that out of you, you're going to sign over your half of the house."

"I'll never do that. You can rot in hell."

Michelle pushed away from him, but he caught the back of her dress, ripping it. He back handed her, splitting her lip. Then slapped her.

"I'm going to beat you like I used to beat your mother, you little freak."

Michelle struggled, but Tommy has a heavy set man, years of being a laborer on building sites had given him above average strength. A punch to her face left her nose bleeding. She was losing consciousness.

As Michelle fell back in the hallway, her head hit the wall. She slid down as the world spun.

"I should have cut your fucking balls off when yer mam died. I knew a little freak like you would never be a real man."

The word "freak" stung Michelle like a blow. The anger gave her a jolt of adrenaline. Her head cleared as her mind seemed to slow down what was happening.

Tommy grabbed the front of her dress as she scrambled away. The buttons popped off , leaving her with her underwear on full view.

"Come here ya little queer, I'm gonna beat the fuck out of ya, then your gonna sign. It will be just like the good old days, when I knocked your ma about."

Her mind processed what he had said. Beat my mother? She never knew. She remembered the bruises on her mother's arms, the black eyes. Her mother always came up with an explanation. Hit her eye on the fridge door, fell over and other explanations that a nine year old would accept.

It made sense now. The submissive behavior his mother always had around Tommy. He was beating her! White hot rage filled Michelle. She had been constantly belittled, slapped and derided, from the age of 10 when her mother died. This man was a monster!

"Come here and take yer beating, ye can't get away."

He loomed over her, grabbing for her throat. She could smell the whisky on his breath. Michelle brought both of her knees close to her chest and kicked out at Tommy's body with twenty years of uncorked rage.

The kick from any women would have stunned most men. Michelle though, was physically still a man. This coupled with the rage she felt, made the kick devastating. The stiletto heels concentrated the force of the kick into two tiny points. One in Tommy's left thigh, the other in his testicles. He screamed in an unnaturally high pitch, then collapsed on the floor.

Michelle tried to stand, but slipped back down as her kick had broken off one of the heels. She tried again and manged to stand by supporting herself against the wall. Her eyes were blurred and her blood was streaming down her face from her nose.

"I'll fucking kill yer, you cunt!"

Tommy still on his knees, with one hand holding his damaged testicles, slowly pulled himself up using the fallen telephone table. When he was upright, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a knife.

Michelle's eyes went wide with terror. She had seen that knife before.

There was a noise outside .

"Are you alright in there."

It was her neighbor, Sally Merchant.

"Run Sally he's dangerous." She screamed.

A figure rushed into the hallway.

Tommy half turned to see who it was. Sam's fist caught him square in the jaw. His head bounced off the hallway wall and he dropped the knife.

Sam kicked the knife backwards away from the fallen man. Tommy turned his hate filled eyes on the man who had punched him. Sam backed out of the open front door. He wanted to get this madman away from Michelle. Tommy lunged for him . Sam caught his lunge, and turned it into the Jiu-Jitsu O Goshi, a hip throw. He held his right arm as Tommy slammed into the flower bed, and put him in a wrist lock. He pulled up slightly, causing Tommy to scream in pain.

"Who the hell are you, and what have you done to my girlfriend?"

Sam glanced at Michelle as she staggered to the door. All his instincts told him to go and make sure she was alright. He knew that the man on the floor posed a danger to everyone so he kept his knees on his neck and hip.

A police car screeched to a halt, it's bright blue flashing lights and sirens blaring. Two policeman ran into the garden and shouted at Sam to let Tommy go.

"He had a knife and was trying to kill my girlfriend."

"Let him go sir, we'll sort this out."

As they helped Tommy to his feet his anger boiled over.

"Fucking girlfriend, that's my stepson . Your both a couple of queers. I'll kill the pair of ya."

Tommy's outburst and Sally's explanation convinced the police who the offender was. Another car arrived to take him away. An ambulance arrived for Michelle. She didn't want to go but Sam insisted.

They treated Michelle at the A&E at Stevenage. She had a black eye and bruising. Her nose was sore but unbroken. Sam who had followed the ambulance had brought her fresh clothes to change into. They left the hospital and headed for Hertford police station to make a statement.

Tommy was being held in the cells, and it looked like he was going to be charged with a number of things including a hate crime.

Back at their home they sat in the kitchen and Sam made Michelle the British cure all, hot sweet tea. Michelle explained that her mother died when she was ten. Tommy had tried to palm him off with relations. Since his mother was an only child it was difficult. The will also stipulated that Micheal was the sole owner of the house until eighteen. Then the house would be split between the two. His mother had intended this so Micheal would be raised by his stepfather, in the house he grew up in, then they would sell the house an both have some money.

Michelle moved out at eighteen to go to university. The house was never sold. Michelle explained that since her mother died she had never had a birthday or a Christmas. She just tried to avoid Tommy's drunken rages. After the funeral he had made Michelle burn all the girls clothes his mother had brought him in a oil drum in the garden. Tommy had made him drop his trousers and held the knife to his penis. He told him if he ever saw him dressed in girl's clothes again, he would cut the lot off.

Sam made them a simple supper of beans on toast. There was very little food left in the house, but it satisfied them both.

"I'm taking tomorrow off, I'm staying with you Michelle."

"But your job, you can't."

"I was only going to observe new surgical procedures, nothing that can't wait. You're too important to me Michelle. You been through a serious assault and need support."

She couldn't argue, she was shaken and needed to be held. They headed up to bed hand in hand, At the top of the stairs, Sam hugged Michelle for the hundredth time that day.

"If you need me just call."

"Sam, can you please sleep with me. I don't want to be alone."

She fell asleep with Sam spooning her. With his strong arms around her, she felt safe and warm.

©Leeanna19 2022

The sound of a car horn woke the couple. Michelle stretched.

"Owww my face hurts."

She slowly got out of bed and went over to the full length mirror. Her nose was swollen and her eyes were puffy. She had a purple swelling around her left eye.

"Oh no, my face what has he done!"

The tears started to flow.

"Come on now Michelle, it will be fine in a day or two."

She doubled over sobbing. Sam knew it was delayed shock from nearly being killed by her stepfather. He bent down and pulled her to her feet.

"Shush now , you're still beautiful."

"No I'm an ugly freak that no one will want!"

After seeing her stepfather first hand, Sam knew why she felt the way she did. He had raised her to believe only a freak would dress as a women. Michelle had resisted what she was for most of her life. She need tenderness and perhaps a good psychologist.

Sam gently kisses the tears and held her at arms length. She needed cheering up. He sang in his deep clear voice.

Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

Michelle looked at him blinking through her tears. She had never heard him sing.

For one so small
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here don't you cry

The tears turned to laughter.

"I know that song Sam, where's it from?"

I'm not finished yet. listen to the words, it's from me to you.

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

"Thank you Sam. Do you really mean it?"

"Of course I do. I love you Michelle. When I saw you hurt yesterday I wanted to kill that bastard, but my Hippocratic oath and all that."

"You were amazing, my knight in shining armour."

"I not sure how much you needed saving. Your heels did some damage you know."

"That felt so good. After learning he used to hit my mother, and the beating he gave me."

"Michelle, you must realise, all that freak stuff is due to him. You have to let it go, don't let him have a hold over you."

"Hang on a minute! That song's from Tarzan. Are you calling me a gorilla? If you are I'm going to find my unbroken heel and give you a good kicking."

Sam was happy he had cheered her up. He had to keep her in a positive frame of mind.

"It's a pity about those boots, they looked really sexy. I'll get you another pair today if you want. Oh, I found the broken heel in the hallway. I threw it away. I think it had a testicle on the end of it"

She beamed at him.

"I love you Sam."

Tenderly he kissed her and held her. They had finally admitted it. They were in love.

"I'll have a quick shower and then get some shopping. Will you be alright on your own for a few hours?"

"Yes, I'm going to tidy the mess up in the hallway. We are out of almost everything, I don't think there's anything for breakfast."

"If you can wait I'll do a quick shop and bring you a burger back."

Sam quickly showered and headed to Tesco's. No time to get anything fancy at the local deli. He didn't want to leave her too long, so he rushed down the aisles picking up food as he went. He paused and added a get well soon card, a box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses.

As he struggled back with two full bags and the bouquet under his arm. He saw a familiar car parked in front of the house. Behind his BMW, there was a Mercedes. Fiona's Mercedes.

©Leeanna19 2022

Sam saw Michelle sitting at the kitchen table her head down looking upset. Fiona was grinning like a Cheshire cat. She was dressed as she always did throughout their marriage, dowdy. She was wearing jeans a baggy sweater and minimal makeup.

"What do want Fiona?"

"Is that any way to greet you wife Sammy?"

"You're not my wife for much longer, what have you come for?"

"I came to get you to sign the divorce papers, no fault as we agreed when you let me have the flat. I'm not sure now though. I think I need another £100k to keep quite about this little mess."

"What mess?"

"Well did Micheal not like dressing up? Is that why you beat him up. I knew were a pervert, but a sadist as well. It makes you a lot more interesting."

"Michelle is a woman Fiona, and more of a woman than you'll ever be."

"Don't you dare say that. She hasn't got a womb, how can she be a woman. She just queer like you, a freaky pervert that likes to pretend."

Michelle flinched at that, and glared angrily at Fiona. She seemed to have more steel in her heart after fighting back against her stepfather. He saw she was itching to act.

"Listen Fiona, you dress like a man, and drink like a fish. There is very little of the feminine about you. You acted feminine before we married to catch me, because you knew I liked it. When we were married I saw the true you. Yes you have a womb, but you never used it. So if you think having one defines you as a woman, I'd say you're wrong. Perhaps it should be using it and having children defines you as a woman then. That would mean all the women that have had a hysterectomy aren't women though"

"You know I never wanted kid's, whining and sniveling all the time, it's my body screw you!"

"You never said that until after we married. You changed your mind pretty quick then, didn't you?"

"I'm still a real woman, more than that thing sitting there is."

"So what makes you're more of a woman than Michelle is then."

"Well I, I, er. You can make love to me. I'm pretty."

Sam looked at Michelle, who had made an effort to cover her injuries with a thick layer of makeup.

"Michelle is prettier than you, and if you think that defines you as a woman you are shallower than I thought. I've only known Michelle for a few weeks, in that time she has shown more grace and inner beauty that you did in five years. You can piss off with your homophobic anti-trans hate speech."

"You talk like you're in love, tell me it isn't true. Was I married to a queer all along?"

"I love women, Fiona real women, Michelle is a woman and I love her. There is nothing queer about that, not that there would be anything wrong if it were."

"Well lets see what your friends and family think about it shall we? Unless you put £100k in my bank account by tonight, they will all find out what a deviant you are. Now sign this so I can be rid of you and marry a real man."

Sam signed the papers and thrust them back at her.

"I never want to see your hateful face again Fiona. Don't come running back to me when your toyboy surfer spends all your money."

"Remember queer boys, £100k, tonight."

Fiona stormed out of the house slamming the front door as she left.

Michelle stood and walked to the living room window to see Sam watching Fiona screech off down the street.

"Don't have an accident Fiona, bitch."

"What are we going to do now Sam?"

"Nothing, we will do nothing. Even if I had the money I wouldn't pay her. Blackmailers never stop."

"But everyone will know Sam."

"I not ashamed Michelle. I love you and want to be with you. I hope you feel the same."

"I do Sam, you have helped me realise that I am, and always was a woman. I want to be your woman, it's just what will your family and friends think?"

"Well if they think anything less of me they aren't my friends. As far as my family goes, I'm sure my sister will love you. My father died two years ago and my mother is genuine eco warrior. She mixes with all sorts of people, she's very accepting. I work in a hospital, they are diverse set of people there. Fiona is living in the 70's if she thinks this will cause problems. If it does, they can go to hell."

They fell into each others arms and hugged. Sam could sense she was getting stronger in her conviction that she was a woman. He was afraid that when Fiona had called her "freaky" , it would have caused her to panic, it just seemed to make her angry. They kissed and found comfort in each other for a few minutes.

"I think we should put the shopping away. Oh sorry these are for you."

Sam gave Michelle the flowers and chocolates. It was the first time she had received these distinctly feminine gifts. It thrilled her. She kissed him on the cheek and said.

"If you want to get into my knickers, I have plenty upstairs you can wear."

She gave him a sideways grin. He was happy she was in a playful mood. After all she had been through in the last few days, she could still wise crack.

"Perhaps one day I'll take you up on that, but I'd rather see you in them."

"If you're a good boy and eat all your dinner, you will get that privilege."

"Hurry up and cook dinner then Mrs, your man is hungry."

The word Mrs, gave her a thrill. Could that ever happen, would Sam ever want to marry someone like her?

Sam went up to get washed, while Michelle started dinner. Later they ate in the kitchen and discussed what little family they had. Michelle had cousins she hadn't seen for years, and Sam had very few close family. He told Michelle that Fiona only had a few email addresses to spread her poison. He wasn't on any social media sites, as they were a distraction.

They sat on the sofa watching films. Michelle nestled into Sam's chest. They shared the chocolates and relaxed. They were both happy and glad of each others company.

"Michelle, I wish I could hold this moment forever. Being here with you, both of us happy. This is what life should be, good moments."

"Do you really love me Sam, I'm sorry to ask, but no one has said that since my mum died. I love you, I really do, I just find it hard to believe you love me."

"You silly woman, come here. "

He drew her face to his and kissed her deeply. They broke the kiss after a few moments. Sam looked into her eyes.

"Michelle I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Will you sleep with me again tonight. When you hold me, I feel so safe in your arms. I really feel like a woman."

They went to bed together. Sam was big spoon again. His arms around Michelle, he could not help feel aroused. Michelle could feel the pressure against her backside, through her silk nightgown. In her mind she wanted to be the woman he needed. Soon she thought, I will give him what he needs, but tonight she was happy just to have him hold her.

They both slept while Fiona was busy spreading her poison.

©Leeanna19 2022

The morning came and they both slept late. Sam thought if Fiona had outed them, it had happened. He cared, but he loved Michelle more. He would weather whatever came. He just hoped she had the strength to do the same. He knew he need to reassure her.

It was Saturday in early October, and the weather was going to be good. Sam decided he would try and spend the day with her.

Michelle was looking at him with sleepy eyes, still stretching from her good nights sleep when she remembered what had happened yesterday.

"Do you think she's done it."

"Yes probably. I don't care though. The divorce will be done with in about four months and I will have nothing to do with her. I just want her out of my life."

"What about the fallout, you know, your job."

"It's 2021 Michelle. I could probably be going out with a monkey and not have any problems."

He winked at her when he said that.

"So a tranny's ok then."

"Stop that. Your a women, now repeat after me, your a woman."

"Your a woman."

"No you are, not me, you silly bugger."

Sam rolled on top of her, his legs astride her and tickled her stomach. She shook her head in a fit of giggles and her wig fell off. She grasped for it looking concerned. Sam pulled her arms away and fluffed her blond hair."

"You really don't need that wig you know. Your hair is long enough for a short women's hairstyle you know."

"I was thinking about that. I have been trying to put it in a pixie style, but I though you liked long hair."

"You are your own woman Michelle. You decide what you like. While I do love what you look like, I love the woman inside."

Sam lent down and kissed her. She was trapped under him, her arms pinned to bed bedside her head. He was totally in control. Her stomach was fluttering. She loved this feeling. She loved Sam. She could feel the hard lump in his groin pushing into her stomach.

Sam jumped off the bed facing away, so she couldn't see the tent that had formed in his shorts. She had a smaller one hidden under the covers in her knickers.

"How about a picnic today Michelle? It's going to be warm today. One last gasp of summer. We can walk along the river and picnic on the meads."

"Oh, I haven't had a picnic since I was six! I would love to. Jam sandwiches and juice."

"I think we can do better than that. I'll go shopping while you get ready. I'll get wine, french bread, cold cuts and some other bits. We'll make a day out of it. I want you all to myself."

Sam showered while Michelle went downstairs to make coffee and toast for them both. As she busied herself in the kitchen it felt so natural and normal, she almost forgot about Fiona. After breakfast she went up to shower and get ready.

She put on her new matching black lace bra and knickers. She stuffed the bra and looked down and wondered what it would be like to have real breasts. She had never thought about the possibility of having her breasts enhanced, but she knew it was a simple operation. Tights today she thought. She loved stockings, but most of the ones she had were very fine and she did not want to damage them on twigs.

She never used to worry about this sort of thing as a man. Get dressed and go mostly. She wouldn't change this for the world though. She put on a black and gold, floaty nylon skirt and a thick black cotton blouse over the top. She had gotten two pairs of boots shopping, the ruined stilettos and a flat pair. The flats were more practical for a picnic anyway, she thought.

As she applied a thick layer of foundation to hide the bruising she thought about her hair. She would try to go without the wig today. She brushed it down toward her left eye with a parting on the right. It looked really cute. She hoped Sam would approve. She found the short fur trimmed coat she had gotten on her last shopping spree, and went downstairs to sort out the plates and cutlery for the picnic.

Sam walked in when she got to the hallway.

"Wow, love your hair babe!"

Babe she thought, never been called that before. She liked it.

"Are you sure, I can get the wig if you want."

"No I prefer it. It's all you, all Michelle."

Sam had been busy, He had brought food and and old fashioned wicker picnic basket.

"What do you think. I found it in the retro shop. I love this old stuff. Reminds me of simpler times."

They crammed what the could in the basket, which Sam carried, and Michelle took a bag with a old blanket and the remainder of the food. It was a lovely day as they walked down the towpath. The birds were singing. Children were feeding the ducks and coots. The river was crammed with barges. Many were empty, but some had people living on them. What a nice way of life thought Sam. Perhaps one day he would get one.

"Oh what a wonderful old picnic basket, have you had that for long."

An elderly couple that had moved aside for them to pass, had spotted it as Sam lifted it over a patch of nettles.

"No, all of a hour, I just love old things, don't you?" Said Sam.

The man spoke this time.

"Yes, but she's been with me for years, I've sort of got used to her now."

The women dug her husband in the ribs and said.

"Take no notice of him, he loves me really. I must say you make a very attractive couple. Come on Bert we're blocking the path."

Michelle smiled knowing her new hairstyle had passed inspection. She was still nervous about being outed, but the fear was slowly leaving her.

The arrived at Hertford lock and watched a cabin cruiser go though. They stood on the bridge and admired the view. The Meads is a large area of riverside flood meadow that stretches from Hertford to Ware. The sun felt warm on their backs as they just watched the world go by. Sam's hand fell onto Michelle's. He lifted it and kissed it.

"This is one of the good moments Michelle. Look around and hold onto this."

They walked into the meads and found a firm dry area fifty yards off the footpath. Michelle spread the blanket as Sam unpacked. They both Sat and Sam looked at his phone. Michelle set about preparing the food. She left the lids on as there were still plenty of small fly's around. She was buttering some bread as Sam said.

"Babe, look up."

She heard the camera on his phone click.

"What are you doing?"

"I just want a picture of my girlfriend, anything wrong with that?"

"I suppose not, why you'd want my ugly face on your phone though, I don't know."

"No I'm here with you, not Fiona, silly."

His phone buzzed and beeped. Sam looked at it and laughed out loud.

"What is it Sam?"

"Promise you won't get mad, but I sent Simon the cardiologist I work with your picture."

"No, Sam why?"

Look, read the messages.

Ur ex mailed me 2 say ur with a guy in a dress?

Her name is Michelle Si, what do u think.

There was the picture Sam had just taken attached to this message. Michelle caught by surprise, with a sweet innocent smile on her face.

Wow! R U treating her 4 blindness? I mean whats a 10 doin wiv a 5 like U? Shes so hot!!!

"Fiona has been busy, she can do her worse. It's looks like you have another fan by the way . I'm not hiding anything Michelle, nor should you. I'm proud to call you my girlfriend."

Her eyes shone with tears of happiness. It was really happening. There were no more secrets, nothing to be ashamed of. Her dreams of being the woman she had always wanted to be, were coming true. She had clothes and a home, but most importantly she had her man.

"I love you Sam, and by the way, I'd put you as at least a 6."

Sam feigned disappointment.

"Only a 6 eh? Well maybe I should think of a way to trap you before you run off?"

Was he thinking about getting engaged she thought? Surely not?

They drank wine and ate ham, bread and cheese. They talked about what they wanted to do to the house. A small dog came over and started sniffing around the plates. It avoided Sam, but jumped up and down excitedly for Michelle. It licked her face while she fed it some scraps of ham. It was as if the dog could see what a kind gentle soul she had, thought Sam.

The dog ran off when it heard it's owner calling. The couple snuggled and kissed. The air had grown a little colder as the sun had gone behind the trees.

"Come on 10, time we went home."

They cleared up and walked back hand in hand. Sam noticed Michelle was humming "Perfect Day". It had been a perfect day, definitely one that went on the good pile.

Michelle took the basket to the kitchen and started to clean everything.

"Let me help Michelle."

"No, I like doing things like this for us, even a 10 has washing up."

Sam smiled and wrapped his arms around her, as she stood against the old butler sink with her hands in the soapy water. She could feel the weight of him crushing her between the sink and his body. She was in heaven.

Then his phone rang.

Sam pulled away, he went into the living room to answer his phone. Michelle carried on with the washing up. She tried to be quite to here who Sam was talking to.

"Oh, Hi darling,. What gives me the honor of a call from you."

It was a girl! Michelle stopped washing up and moved to the door the listen.

"Yes, well who could resist a sex bomb like you."

Sex bomb? A girlfriend?

I do yes, I'm in love.

Michelle felt a knot growing in her chest.

"Of course we can meet. Friday? Ok I can pick you up from Kings Cross. I'll give you a ring when I leave. I love you too Suzi."

Sam blew a kiss, laughed and hung up.

He opened the door to a forlorn looking Michelle. Sam noticed straight away.

"Whats up babe, you look ill."

"Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh you heard that?"

"Yes who the hell is Suzi Sam? Don't you dare lie to me are you playing with me."
.
Sam could hear the panic in her voice. She was still so insecure, it was understandable.

"That was my sister Suzi. She works in Edinburgh and wants to come down for a few days."

"Your s-sister? Why did you call her sex bomb."

"Oh she's a bi-sexual woman, and she's a looker, so she has no shortage of attention. It's just a joke name I gave her after the Tom Jones song."

"You've got a song for everything haven't you."

"Yeah, pretty much." He winked at her to relieve the tension.

"Sorry Sam, I should trust you, you've never done anything to hurt me. I'm just so happy now, I can't believe my life turned out this way. Today was like a dream and I don't want to wake up."

"I understand. Come here you silly, beautiful women."

They hugged and Michelle went off happier. Sam turned on the TV, while Michelle made toasted sandwiches with the leftovers form the picnic. They sat and drank wine while discussing immortality after watching Highlander. Sam pointed out what he thought was an hysterically funny scene. It was when Sean Connery, a Scotsman, playing an Egyptian, asks Christopher Lambert, a French man, playing a Scotsman, what is haggis?

They grew tired and Michelle asked Sam if he could let her get ready for bed before him. She went upstairs while Sam watched the news. After a quick freshen up Sam went to bed. As he climbed in he noticed Michelle was wearing something black and silky. She was wearing stockings to. She had not worn stocking to bed before.

Michelle was on her side, so he lay beside her in the spoon position. He couldn't help his wandering hands caressing Michelle's silky clad body. She moaned softly. Sam stayed away from her knickers as he knew she panicked when he went near her penis.

Quickly he grew hard. It was pressing into her back. She reached behind and gently rubbed him through his shorts. Sam sighed, enjoying the attention. She turned and pulled down his shorts as his hardness sprang out. She slipped down the bed and enveloped him with her mouth.

"Oh Michelle, you don't have to, you uh, uh."

Michelle stopped and looked up at him. She had changed her makeup. Dark eye shadow made her look sultry.

"Sam I want you to take me tonight. Make me your woman."

Sam was surprised as she had always seemed to scared to take that step. He was turned on by her and he wanted her. He knew he would have to be careful. Her ego was as Michelle was fragile.

"Michelle I love you, but are you sure? Are you ready to take this step."

"I told you I had a couple of gay relationships at uni Sam. This won't be the first time. It will be the first time for Michelle though, so please be gentle. I trust you Sam, I know you'll never hurt me."

Sam pushed her on to her back and slipped the loops of her baby doll down her arms. This exposed her small breasts. He nipples were larger than they should be, and her breasts were small mounds. Sam guessed she must be taking something to increase their size.

He gently tickled her left nipple with his tongue. She moaned as he worked his magic on her. He slowly kissed down her stomach and she stiffened when he neared her knickers.

"No please, I'm just not sure how I feel about that part of my body now. Please take me now, make me yours Sam."

She rolled over and pulled the back of her knickers down. Her bottom looked like two perfect peaches Sam thought.

"I just need to get something to..."

She reached back and handed him a tub of lube. Sam coated himself, then worked his fingers into Michelle. She sighed.

"I want you Sam, now."

He eased into her slowly. He had never been with anyone like Michelle before. Her sheer femininity was such a turn on for him. Sex with his wife had normally consisted of her staring at the ceiling asking him how long he would be. Having someone like Michelle saying she wanted him, almost drove him over the edge.

He slipped inside her slowly and smoothly. Listening all the time to her breathing, making sure there was little pain. When he was all way inside he rested to let her get used to him.

"Oh god Sam, that feels incredible. You're inside me, we are so connected now. It's like we are one person. I've never felt so much like a woman as I do now."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"It hurts a little, but it's pain and pleasure. Please I want to feel you move in me."

Sam started small gentle strokes while Michelle groaned with pleasure.

"Oh yes, oh god, yes."

When he was satisfied he wasn't hurting her he let himself go, and surrendered to his desire. He quickened the pace and quickly grew harder and released inside her.

"Oh wow, that was wonderful Michelle, are you alright?"

She turned to face him, she was beaming. She kissed his forehead and said.

"I'm so happy I can be a woman for you. I satisfied my man in bed. That felt so good, I think it was better because I love you. I wanted to make you happy."

"Michelle, it was the best sex I have had for years. Mind you I was married to a harpy." Sam laughed.

"Having sex with a man doesn't make you a woman Michelle. You were a woman before that."

"I know Sam, but for me it's something I needed to do. It's the way I feel about being a woman. It made me feel whole"

"Well Michelle if you need me to do that again to make you feel like a whole woman, please let me know."

Michelle threw a pillow at his head.

"I may take you up on that you lecherous old man. Now be a dear and tidy up the bed while I powder my nose. I want a serious cuddle when I get back."

Powder my nose thought Sam. He loved the quaint old expressions she used sometimes.

Sam lay on his back and Michelle snuggled into him as he wrapped his arm around her. He fell asleep happy to be holding his woman.

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle grew more nervous as the weekend approached. Sam assured her his sister was a nice person. She was very popular at Royal Infirmary hospital in Edinburgh. She worked in the psychology department.

Michelle still thought is was a big step, meeting the family. She knew all girlfriends and boyfriends go through this, but it was a first for her. What if Suzi thought she wasn't good enough for her little brother?

When Friday came, she made an extra effort. She hoovered the spare room for the fifth time that week , then decided to bake a cake. As she moved about the kitchen mixing the ingredients she felt a lovely sense of peace and purpose. Standing there in her apron she thought that if this sort of activity was going to part of her everyday life she would enjoy it.

She just finished decorating the cake with sliced strawberries and whipped cream when she heard the front door open.

"I'm back babe."

She dried her hands on the apron and took it off. Sam had taken his sisters coat and invited her into the living room. Suzi was an attractive brown haired woman. Her crimped, kinky hair fell down just passed her shoulders. She was dress in a peasant blouse and a floaty calf length flowery skirt. She looked a cross between a peasant girl and a gypsy. Michelle felt jealous of her style. She exuded an air of friendliness and strong powerful femininity.

"Oh hi, you must be the woman my brother has been telling me about, all the way up the A10 from London."

Michelle went to offer her hand, but Suzi went straight in for a hug. She couldn't remember the last time a woman had hugged her. She enjoyed the firm sweet smelling embrace of the confident woman.

"I love your perfume Michelle, what is it?"

"Oh it's Charlie, Sam got it for me. I know it's old fashion now, but we both love it."

Michelle couldn't believe she was just having "girl talk" with her. It was just like she didn't know or didn't care what was under her dress.

"Put the kettle on Sam, I want to get to know the foxy lady that has won my brothers heart."

"No, Sam I'll do it. I've made a cake."

"I wondered what that wonderful smell was. I'll do it, I'd love to pamper my two favorite ladies."

As Sam busied himself in the kitchen, the ladies talked. Suzi told Michelle of her work as a psychologist, and how she loved Scotland. No mention was made about Michelle being a male. Sam must have told her, Michelle thought.

As they drank tea and ate cake, Sam made approving noises.

"Michelle, you are a domestic goddess, this cake is excellent. If you keep making cakes like this I'm going to pile on the pounds."

He cut himself another thick slice. Michelle was thrilled with Sam's approval. She caught a glint in Suzi's eye.

"Do you know Michelle, Fat Sam, is a happy Sam. He always used to be a bit overweight. He lost a lot of weight when he was married to Fiona. He must be happy with you, he's filled out since I last saw him. That woman, I could write a book on her."

Sam shook his head and mumbled through a mouthful of cake and cream.

"Did she email you?"

"Yes, unpleasant bitch. I didn't care, I just wanted to meet the person she was so jealous of. The anti-Fiona."

"Well sis, what do you think."

"In the few moments I have know you Michelle, I think you're more of a woman than Fiona will ever be."

As Suzi went in for another hug, all of Michelle's fears melted away. She knew Sam loved her, but getting approval from another woman felt so affirming.

"I think we are going to be good friends Michelle, as long as you don't break my little brothers heart. I tried to warn him off Fiona, did he listen no. You know men though, always led by their dicks."

Michelle nearly chocked on her tea. She couldn't believe she had just said that about her brother. She wanted to reply, but didn't want to mention dicks. She thought as she still had one it would be inappropriate.

Suzi loved the old house. She had only visited the London flat once and she though it was soulless. Sam told her it had been furnished and decorated by Fiona, so it made sense. They decide to get a takeaway, and settled on Chinese food. Sam said he would walk to try and burn off the three slices of cake he had gorged on.

After he left Suzi asked to speak to Michelle.

"Michelle tell me of your background, don't think I'm judging you, I'd love to know what makes you, you. You must be something special, Sam couldn't stop talking about you.

Michelle poured her heart out about the crossdressing as a child, her mother, her abusive stepfather and how she always felt wrong pretending to be a man.

"Well Michelle, I think you have been crossdressing since you were born. You have been crossdressing as a boy , then a man. The girl and the woman in you had to come out. How do you feel since you came out to Sam."

"I won't lie, it has been hard to trust anyone. I nearly retreated into being unhappy, but safe Micheal a few times. Sam has been a rock. I have been happier these last few weeks than at any time in my life. "

"I honestly think you should take the next step and change you birth certificate and name to female. This would help you mentally to face the world as Michelle. No fears , no regrets. Michelle is here to stay."

"But you can't change a birth certificate. What about what I still have, you know my bits, down there "

"Michelle , gender is between your ears, not your legs. You can be recognized as woman without changing that. Don't believe all the rubbish you read in the press."

She took her laptop from her bag and showed Michelle it was possible.

If you want to change your gender status legally in the UK, you can apply to a Gender Recognition Panel (GRP) for a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC). Once a GRC is made, your birth certificate will be re-issued confirming your true gender and new chosen name if relevant.

To grant a GRC, the panel must be satisfied that you:

Have or have had gender dysphoria; Have lived in your true gender for two years before you make your application; and intend to continue living in your true gender until your death.

You do not need to have had gender reassignment surgery.

You need to show that you have lived for two years in the gender you wish your birth certificate to reflect (not currently including non-binary identities). In practice the panel will usually require three or four items of evidence, which might include things like your passport, rent book, wage slips or benefit book if they show that you have been living in your true gender for two years.

You must also provide the panel with two medical reports to confirm you have or have had gender dysphoria. You will normally be expected to provide one from a registered medical practitioner or psychologist practicing in the field of gender dysphoria and one from your regular GP.

"The first thing you have to do is legally change your name. That part is easy. You pass very well so you shouldn't have problems with mush of the rest. I can't be your psychologist, but can recommend someone. You really need to talk to you G.P. at same stage. Have you thought about hormones?"

Michelle looked worried, She thought this is all happening so fast. Suzi picked up on it.

"Michelle, it's your life, just change your name and live as a woman. It's fine. I just think you would be happier with "Female" on your legal documents. There are some nasty people around that love to misgender trans people. It could happen if someone see's your I.D, I know you will have to jump through some hoops, but you don't have to have surgery in the U.K. to be legally recognised as a woman. "

"It's a lot to think about Suzi. I was considering breast enlargement a few days ago. I have been watching timeline videos of trans women on hormones. Some of the results are jaw dropping. I would like to consider it."

"Look, talk it over with Sam. You don't have to do much to get started. How far you want to go it's up to you."

"Thank you so much Suzi. You don't know how much you've helped me. It's my life, my body, my choice."

For the first time in her life, Michelle felt in control. She had a decision to make.

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle had left the doctors with a huge smile on her face. After a long talk with Suzi, she realised a lot of her fears and problems with self confidence came from her stepfather. She had wanted to be a girl since being a child. Her mother had seen it and tried to help by allowing her to dress while at home.

When her stepfather found out about her dressing he was the one that drove home she was a freak in a dress. He must have said that a hundred times to her. After her mother died he was always calling her a little freak who wants to be a girl. The constant mental torture had shaped her growing up. She was afraid to accept what she was, afraid that what her stepfather driven into her was true.

Suzi was very good at her job, she let Michelle pour out her story, and after, she had laid bare why she felt the way she did. Michelle felt anger at her stepfather, but also pity. Suzi said that most bullies , like many sex offenders were victims themselves. It was a vicious cycle. With Michelle she was her own victim.

She knew now, she was a woman inside. She had waited two weeks for an appointment with her doctor and explained what she wanted. The doctor did a double take when he saw Michelle enter his office, he thought the wrong patient had walked in. He explained to Michelle the steps that she need to take.

She had to arrange an appointment with a gender psychologist or psychiatrist. Suzi said that she could arrange that easily. The psychologist would send a referral letter to the clinic she wanted to use. Suzi was thinking of going to the London Transgender Clinic. Then she would have to see an endocrinologist after some blood tests. After that she could start hormone therapy.

She knew it could take up to five years, but each step would make her feel more complete. After she started her hormones she wanted breast enhancement. She wanted this for herself and for Sam. She loved him and wanted to be as much of a woman as she could be for the both of them. Suzi had explained that to her he too. She said that Sam was besotted with her. Suzi had never seen him truly in love, until now. She said he was in lust with Fiona, but he didn't love her.

Michelle thought she was a lucky girl! A new life was in front of her. She was finally going to be herself. She listened to her heels click as she walked down the street. She smiled at passers by and most smiled back. She understood now they saw a pretty, happy women, not a freak.

She went to the supermarket and got some ingredients for a steak dinner. She would tell Sam what she intended to do tonight. She also went lingerie shopping with newfound confidence.

"How did the doctors appointment go?"

Sam said as he walked in. He smelled the steak and onions cooking and his mouth watered. After a long drive home to be greeted by a warm meal was heaven. All he got from Fiona was an ear full of abused normally. He knew it was old fashioned to expect to have a "little woman" keeping house and looking after him, but he guessed he was old fashioned.

"Oh that smell, what have I done to deserve this babe."

Michelle was standing in front on the cooker frying the steak and onions. She had a full apron tied into a bow behind her flowered nylon house dress. In her heels she looked like a typical 50's housewife.

Sam felt a stirring in his stomach, and his trousers. She turned and smiled at him. He held her hips and gently kissed the back of her neck.

"I'm going to do it Sam. I want to go all the way. Hormones, boobs the lot."

"That's wonderful Michelle. You look so happy. It's like a weight has been lifted off you."

"It has. Your sister is wonderful. She explained to me why I felt the they way I did. I'm sorry for getting upset with you when you showed me that stuff on gender reassignment Sam. I know you only trying to help. I'd do anything to take it back."

Sam saw she was getting emotional. He didn't want to ruin her happiness.

"Oh don't worry about that Michelle, but you've forced me to do it haven't you."

She turned to face him, eyes wide.

"Do what Sam?"

Sam started to click his finger and do what could only be described as a "Dad dance". Then he started to sing.

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
When I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And when I haver, hey I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

And I would roll 500 miles
And I would roll 500 more
Just to be the man who rolls a thousand miles
To fall down at your door.

Michelle laughed out loud and pulled Sam in for a deep exploring kiss.

"I had to shut you up somehow you clown."

"Made you laugh though didn't I?"

"What the hell does "haver" mean anyway."

"It means talk gibberish, like you Michelle. "

"Right, your steak's going in the bin."

"Don't you dare."

They sat down and ate. Michelle told Sam of her plans to take hormones and then see about breast enlargement. Sam assured her she could stop, or back out at anytime and he would lover just the same. She said she knew that now. They went to the living room and relaxed listening to Dark Side of the Moon. Sam explained, as he liked to do, that there was no dark side of the moon. Most of it got sunlight as it revolved around the earth.

Michelle asked him to let her get changed before he came up to bed. Sam was hopeful, when she said that she was in the mood for sex. Sam never pushed it, he new she would be upset if he did.

When he was showered he went into their bedroom and she was waiting on top of the bed. She was wearing short black lace nighty and a thong. He grew hard at the sight.

Michelle slipped off the bed onto the floor in front of him. She pulled his shorts down and engulfed him in one swift movement. Sam gasped at the sudden pleasure. Her tongue was everywhere, when she sucked and licked under his glans at the same time it almost drove him over the edge.

She stood and kissed him. Then turned him, and pushed him onto his back. As she was straightening himself out, Michelle sat astride him. She slowly lowered herself down onto his manhood. Sam had never seen her so confident. She winced a little, but was soon all the down. She rode him slowly, looking into his eyes as she did.

"Play with my tits Sam."

She groaned as he flicked and pinched her nipples.

"Just imagine what it will be like when they are big and bouncy Sam."

Sam felt himself close, she speed up and he squeezed her nipples hard. He could hold on no longer and erupted inside her. She screamed and he saw the front of her thong darken. They had finished together. It had felt amazing.

She rolled off him panting.

"We can do that more often now if you want."

"Oh, Michelle. I can assure you I'll be "up for it", anytime you want."

They both fell asleep spooning together. Smiling, things were going to be alright.

Saturday morning arrived and they were having a lazy day. They were going to get up at ten.

They heard a letter being pushed through the letterbox . It was a letter from Tommy's solicitor.

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle arose before Sam. She went down into the kitchen in her kimono and slippers to get them both some tea and to start breakfast. Sam had offered to cook, but Michelle insisted. It gave her a warm feeling cooking for her man. She had just got the eggs and bacon out ready to cook when Sam sat down freshly showered holding the letter.

"You open it Sam, I don't want anything to do with that monster."

Sam scanned the letter and looked at Michelle as she carefully broke the eggs into the frying pan. A full English breakfast had become a regular weekend treat for them both. They both ate healthily through the week. At weekends though, the yogurt and muesli was replaced by bacon, egg, sausage,mushroom and beans.

The smell of the frying bacon made Sam's mouth begin to water. Michelle laid the table and dished up the food while Sam poured them both tea.
He was not sure how she would take the news.

"Your stepfather has tried to commit suicide Michelle."

"What! when? what happened?"

She was not sure how she felt. While she hated him for what he had done to her, she cared deeply for others. Wishing someone dead was just not in her nature.

"While he was on remand he had a breakdown. You know he was an alcoholic don't you?"

"Of course, I rarely saw him sober. He was drunk when he went to work and when he came home."

"He went cod turkey in prison and tried to kill himself. He was moved to a a psychiatric prison after he attacked several guards and started raving about rape. He was like it for days."

"That's... well that's sad but why do I need to know about it?"

"Since he has been treated and sobered up he has become very docile. He knows what he did to you was wrong and wants to apologize. He is willing to sign over your mother's house to you, if you will visit him."

"What should I do Sam?"

"Do you think you can face him again?"

"Well yes. After I kicked him and you threw him. The big bad monster didn't seem so big."

"I can talk to my solicitor and sort out the paperwork, we can go, what next Friday? We have to book in with the hospital."

"The money will be very useful. I'm going to buy a set of boobs Sam. I want a full makeover too."

"I told you I'd help with that Michelle. "

"No Sam, I'm no gold digger. I need to prove I can live as a woman for the real life test. I may even start my own business, if I can't find a job as Michelle."

Sam could see that financial Independence would go a long way to instill confidence in her. She would finally be her own woman.

Friday they found themselves in a visitors room at the hospital. They had to leave their phones and any sharp objects at reception. Then they were both searched. Michelle was a little worried that the female officer who patted her down would discover her secret. If she did, she never commented on it.

Tommy was escorted in by a nurse. The nurse was powerfully built and had a kind open face.

"You'll have no trouble from him. He is responding well and is a model patient now."

Tommy face looked crestfallen. Michelle was only used to derision or anger from him.

"I'm very sorry Micheal, er, sorry Michelle. What I did to you was horrible.."

He stared at the table and quietly sobbed.

Michelle looked at Sam.

"Are you joking? You put me through hell for years, and now you're sorry. What is this a trick to get me to drop the charges"

Sam put his hand on Michelle's arm to check her anger.

"Michelle wait."

"I'm so, so sorry. It's not a trick. I'm sober for the first time in years and I understand now , I understand. They have helped me here. I deserve my punishment. I was a monster."

Michelle was speechless. She had never heard him apologize for anything before.

Sam thought he should find out more.

"What do you understand now Tommy?"

"Why I was so angry at Michelle, why I treated the poor girl so very badly. If I could take back what I did to you I would, but please just listen to what I have to say. I will sign whatever you want, but please give me a few minutes."

Michelle glared at him and spat out.

"Ok, I'm listening, but don't expect sympathy from me."

Sam understood, but thought how unlike this was to the gentle soul he knew her be.

"My parents died in a fire back when I was seven. I was sent to live with my uncle on a farm in Kildare. He wasn't married he had little time for me. He put me to work and would hit me if I didn't get the work done."

This was all new to Michelle. Both her parents died when she was young, it didn't excuse his behavior.

"Around the time I turned twelve my hair was down to my shoulders. He had offered to cut it using sheep shears. I wouldn't let him. He started to say that I looked like a girl with my long hair. Then one night he came into my room. He was drunk and told me he missed having a woman around the place. He forced me to do things to him that night. I cried myself to sleep. I knew it was wrong, but what could I do."

Michelle and Sam looked at each other horrified.

"Then a few days later he brought a dress into my room and made me change into it. You can guess the rest."

Tommy put his hand over his face and sobbed.

"Every night he would come to me with that dress, every night."

Tommy sobbed again, the tears running down his face.

The nurse put his hands on Tommy's shoulders.

"Come on now Tommy. It's ok, you're safe it will never happen again."

"Thanks Robbie, I'm ok. So I ran away when I was fourteen Michelle. I worked doing odd jobs sleeping rough until I got a job with a builder who let me sleep in the yard."

A tearful Michelle looked him in the eyes.

"I never knew Tommy, did my mother know?"

"No my girl, I hid this shame away. I had nightmares about it. I would drink to forget it, but it was never enough. Your mum tried to get me off the booze. She was an angel."

"I think I'm starting to understand Tommy. This is a vicious circle. "

"When I saw you in a dress Michelle, it all came rushing back. You reminded me of myself at twelve years old, being forced to doing disgusting things. All the progress your mother had made with me was gone. Every time I saw you after that it came back to me. I treated you so badly because of what was done to me."

"You were abused, so you abused me. Who knows what I would have done. Sam's sister explained I was taking my anger out on myself."

"They made me face what had been done to me in here Michelle. I still shouldn't have taken it out on you. I deserve what will happen now. I just wanted you to know how sorry I was. I can't take it back, the only thing I can give you is you mother's house."

Michelle leaned across the table and took Tommy's hands in hers. She brought them up to her lips and kissed them.

"I forgive you Tommy. This has to end, no more hate, no more fear."

Tommy smiled as his eyes watered. It was like a weight being lifted from his soul.

Sam was choked up and struggled to talk.

"There's my Michelle, there's the love of my life."

They both hugged as a now happy Tommy looked on.

"I'm so glad you found someone Michelle. Your mother was my angle, it looks like this Sam fella is yours."

"No Tommy" said Sam "It's the other way around. I was married to a devil, so I should know."

They borrowed a pen from the nurse so Tommy could sign the papers. Then they spoke for a while longer until their time was up. Michelle hugged Tommy, much to his surprise. As she pulled away she said.

"Tommy, half of the money from the house will be yours. It's what mum wanted. "

"You don't need to, she was your mother. I'm sure she would want you to have it all."

"No Tommy, it's ok. You need to forgive yourself, it's something I have recently learned."

In the car on the way back Sam told Michelle how proud he was of her. She told him she felt at peace with herself. She had finally put the fear of being a freak to rest.

After a few weeks the transfer of the ownership of the house was confirmed. Michelle wrote to Tommy to let him know they were going to look over the place and tidy it up so it could be sold. Michelle wanted to sell it as it held too many painful memories.

Tommy wrote back telling her he wanted nothing from the house and she could throw out all his things. His trial was set for at least six months time, as they were waiting for psychiatric reports. He told her that his mother had left him a letter before she died. She wrote it for him and asked Tommy to give it to him when he turned eighteen. Michelle had run away before then, so the letter was still in the top draw of Tommy's old bedside table.

Tommy had apologised again for what he did, and said he had only hit his mother twice when he came home drunk. He felt sickened at admitting that, but could not take it back. He knew Michelle's mother Grace, had forgiven him, which made his guilt even worse.

They went to the house in Ware on a Saturday. They met the locksmith who was to change the front and back door locks. After drilling out the lock they all want in. Michelle picked up the mountain of letters and bills from the floor and stuffed them into a plastic bag. She would have to go through these and sort out which bills needed paying.

The house hadn't changed, Michelle thought. Still the same 1980's decor from when her mother and father first moved in. The place smelled a bit, so they set about opening all the windows to air it out.

"Michelle, why are you putting this off?"

"I just don't know what I'm going to find Sam. It's been sitting there all these years, just waiting for me. A message from my mother, that I was only meant see to when I reached adulthood."

"Come on Michelle, I'm sure your mother loved and understood you. Anyone as kind as you, must have learnt to be that way from someone. You said your biological father died before you knew him, and it certainly wasn't Tommy."

"No, it's just that knowing it's here unread, is like she is still alive waiting to talk to me."

Sam could see she was getting upset, so he did what he did best.

"Are you going to make me sing you a song, because I will. I'm just trying to think of one. Robert Plant and Alison Krauss had one, Please Read The Letter. Not sure it's appropriate though."

"No please anything but that, the locksmith will think you're weird."

He saw her laughing now. Good he thought. He knew she had to be in right frame of mind to read the letter. They went upstairs to the master bedroom. Even though it had been months since Tommy had been there, it still stunk of whisky. There were bottles everywhere. Sam opened the window as Michelle found the letter. She opened it and read it out aloud.

My dearest Michelle,

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. To write this knowing I will never see your beautiful face again. I asked Tommy to keep you away from me during my last days. He begged me to let you come but, the cancer has made me look like a shadow of myself. I would not have your last memory of me like this.

I want you to know I have always understood your true nature. I let you express yourself at home, and knew one day you would chose a path to take. If you have chosen the path I expect you to, I admire your courage. You will meet many obstacles on your journey but your true nature cannot be denied.

Remember, your true friends will love you, and not care how you look or how you dress. Keep close to those that accept you for what you are. Your kind caring nature will guide you. If only I could be there to help you my daughter. Just know my spirit will always be with you.

Tommy is not a bad man, he can be kind and understanding. Please be patient with him. He has had a hard time accepting what happened to him was not his fault. I pray that you will get on together, and he understands you.

Even though my life is now coming to an end, it was worth the pain and sadness to have and to raise you Michelle. You have made my life worthwhile. Be the best women you can be.

I will always love you. Mum

Tears were running down Michelle’s face as she buried her head in Sam's chest. Her sobbing continued as he hugged her.

"She knew Michelle, your mother always knew what you were. It's just a shame you never saw the letter when you were eighteen."

"I always thought I would be letting her down, but she knew. She accepted me as I was."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman, just like her daughter Michelle."

They kissed, and Michelle dried her eyes.

"Tommy started drinking again just after mum's funeral. He just got worse and he could barely look at me. He took her death as badly as I did. It's so sad, if he had stayed sober we could have supported each other, but in the end it just turned to hate."

"The human condition I'm afraid Michelle. We often waste our lives on hate, and don't realise until the end that we miss out on love and happiness."

"That's not me now Sam. I know who I am, and what I am. I know who my friends are and I know who loves me."

There she is, thought Sam, stronger than ever.

"Come on then Michelle. Take the things you want, the rest we will get a house clearance company to collect. I'm getting hungry."

"There are only a few bits I want of my mother's. I don't need anything of Micheal's , I'm not him anymore. Pub lunch?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle was beaming when Sam arrived home.

"Good news love?"

"Yes, the clinic have approved me to start hormones. They emailed me the letter today."

"I told you it would be ok Michelle. Are you going to see your G.P. about getting a prescription?"

"Yes my appointment is Thursday. I still feel bad about jumping the queue like that Sam. I know you pulled a few strings, still it's not fair."

"I know, but it’s very underfunded. The way they see it, it's not life threatening, but in some cases it is."

"They told me they had over 9000 people on the waiting list! Those poor people. They only see around 700 cases a month. Some of the people in the waiting room were referred in 2017!"

"Sorry love, when I said I'd do anything for you I meant it. I called in a few favours."

"It's no wonder so many trans people go to Thailand. I dread to think how long I would have to wait on the NHS for surgery."

"So you have decided on surgery then?"

"No Sam, I'm still a little scared. I would like my own breasts though. I'm fed up with packing them out."

Sam walked up behind her as she put her mug in the sink. He wrapped his arms around her grabbing her padded chest.

"Oh lovely, a nice pair of 46 inch double D's."

"You can bugger off Sam. I'd never see my feet again. I want 36 inch B's or C's. It's will depend on how elastic my flesh is."

"I know love, just joking. When are you thinking of getting that done?"

"Well I thought I'd give the hormones a try first, but about 9 months? Can you wait that long? Anyway since when have you been a breast man?"

"I'm not really, I'm a Michelle man."

"Oh you are such a smooth bugger, how can any girl resist you?"

"You do know how the hormones will affect you don't you. Decreased libido, you won't get hard very often. It will all start to shrink."

"I don't care much about that. There's only one erection I care about in this house. If it shrinks it will mean I won't have to worry about tucking it back in my knickers."

"On the plus side, they should stop you going bald later."

She smiled at that. She had teased Sam about having a thinning patch of hair on the top of his head. She told him he would look like a monk in a few years. She had kissed it better for him though.

"Your breasts should develop, that will begin in about 3 to 6 months. How much by, we will have to wait and see. Your body fat will build up in different places. Your bum and thighs will get bigger along with your breasts."

"That will be nice. It will give me a nice womanly shape. I have read up about it you know. My skin may get softer and my hair growth will slow down. Well I never had much of that anyway. Before you mention it, I know the risks too."

They hugged and Michelle felt safe in the arms of the man she loved. He moved his head down and the kissed. Their tongues danced and tickled each other’s mouths. Michelle felt him grow hard. His member was pushing against her stomach.

She slipped downwards, out of his embrace. Her hands worked quickly on his zip and belt. Soon he sprang free from his confining underwear. He gasped as he tongue traced his glans. Soon she engulfed his whole length. She was proud she could do this now. Practice makes perfect, she thought.

She felt him twitch, he won't be long she thought.

"I want you in me now! Take me over the kitchen table."

He was shocked, he had never seen her like this. She stood up and lifted her knee length skirt over bottom and on to her back. She was bent over the kitchen table, with her legs apart. He took in the whole site of her. She was wearing her favourite leather, high heeled boots. She had black stockings, held taut by a lace suspender belt. Her thong had a silky bow at the top. This was all framed buy the black nylon and lace trimmed full slip. He knew he couldn't resist.

"Quickly I want you now Sam."

He had the urge to just take her, but he knew it would be painful.

"Michelle we need lube. I don't want to hurt you."

She stood up quickly and grabbed a bottle of cooking oil from the counter top.

"Use this, and hurry."

Sam had never seen this side of her before. He had never had a woman that really wanted him. He was used to going slow and gentle with Michelle. He practically had to beg Fiona. This is what it's like to be desired then. He looked back at Michelle, as his worked the oil into his rock hard member. Stepping out of his trousers, he stood behind Michelle and dribbled a little oil between her buttocks.

"Oh yes Sam, now take me!"

He didn't know if it was the oil or that Michelle was so willing. He slid in, in one smooth movement.

They both let out a sigh, Sam started to pump into her. She pushed back to meet his thrusts. Soon the room filled with the sound of grunts, sighs, and a rhythmic slapping. Sam held Michelle's shoulders as he pushed deep inside her. He felt himself grow even larger, then let out a cry as he gave one last hard thrust that knocked the salt and pepper pots onto the floor.

Michelle felt her man filling her up with his seed. The thought and feel of this drove her over the edge. She screamed and felt a wave of pleasure flood her body. Her knees gave way and she felt Sam's body press her into the table.

"Oh my god Michelle. That was intense. I've never seen you like this before."

They stood, started to dress and adjust their clothing. An odd thought stuck Michelle. Women's clothing allowed sex without undressing. She had never thought of that before. She had just had the overwhelming need for sex with Sam. She had enjoyed it, so had Sam.

"You better get used to it Sam. I'm a woman that knows what she wants now. "

"Well Mrs Assertive what do you want to eat tonight?"

"Indian, now off you pop, while I clean up."

Sam walked out the door with a huge grin on his face. He loved being lusted after.

©Leeanna19 2022

Two months later Michelle had started her hormone treatment. She was acting like a giddy school girl. She was so happy things were finally happening. Sam would tease her as she checked her breasts each morning.

"They won't grow if you keep checking them you know." Sam said.

"I know it's too early, I just felt my nipples were more sensitive than before, that's all."

"No that was me. I'm an expert on human anatomy. I can play your body like a fiddle."

"Well you certainly did a lot of fiddling about last night you randy bugger."

"You loved it, don't lie, you were all over me."

She smiled, and threw her dressing gown at him.

"You stay there Sam. I'll get you breakfast in bed. You have to keep your strength up for what I have planned for you."

"Bring it on babe."

Sam loved this new confident Michelle. She deserved this happiness. He knew how hard trans people had it. Snide comments, deliberate misgendering, even physical attacks. Michelle was lucky to pass so easily, even before the hormones.

After breakfast he told Michelle that he had booked a table at the Ilvino resturant for seven that night.

"What's the occasion Sam?"

"My divorce came through."

"Oh wow, are you alright."

"Yes I'm fine it's like a weight has been lifted off me. That's part of my life that I want to forget. It cost me a lot emotionally and financially."

"I didn't think you'd be upset, but I thought I'd ask."

Sam drew her in and gave her a long slow kiss.

"I'll be back at six, have a quick shower, then we'll walk. Is that ok?"

"Looking forward to it."

She passed him his keys and Sam headed out to work.

When Sam arrived home she was ready. Her makeup was perfect. She was wearing a calf length black dress with a slit half way up the thigh. He noticed her stocking tops as the dress rode up as she sat on the sofa.

Within twenty minutes they were walking the half mile to the restaurant. They walked hand in hand, as Michelle's ankle length boots clicked on the pavement. Their happy faces drew smiles from passers-by, they made a very attractive couple.

When they arrived the waiter took their coats and seated them. They took in the atmosphere of the restaurant. It was a small family run business in an old building. The sound of gentle music filled the air as they looked at the menu.

"Do you think all those old oak beams are real Sam?"
"Oh yes, a few of the buildings in this street go back to the sixteen hundreds. I bet the fireplace is original too."

They both ordered the Brie Fritto for starters. Sam had the Tagliatelle alla Livornese, and Michelle had the Penne e Basilica. They shared sides, and enjoyed the wonderful food with a bottle of red wine.

Michelle was really enjoying herself. She was just a normal woman enjoying a meal with her boyfriend. No worries or threats. This is how life should be. They both finished eating at the same time. Sam lent back and said.

"That was amazing. Why haven't we been here before?"

"Because you love your curries Sam, that's why."

"Yeah, I do love curry. Oh damm, I dropped my fork. "

Sam went down on his knee to get the fork from under the table. When he came up he was holding a diamond ring.

"Michelle, would you make me the happiest man alive, will you marry me"

It was like the whole restaurant stopped. Everyone looked at Michelle. It felt like her heart had stopped. All her doubts and fears fled. Sam really wanted her forever. Memories of childhood dreams of being a princess and marrying a prince came flooding back. This was real though. It was happening.

"Yes, yes, Oh Sam yes,"

A cheer went up and the dinners started to clap. Men and women shook Sam’s hand and kissed Michelle. The owner came out with a bottle of champagne.

"On the house for the happy couple."

Michelle eyes were full of happy tears. She had dreamed of this, but had always pushed away the hope that it would ever happen. She was the future Mrs Walker.

After she calmed down the panic set in.

"Sam how can we marry. We are both legally men."

"Don't worry Michelle. You can get a gender recognition certificate soon. It doesn't matter anyway. Same sex marriage has been legal since 2013. We will be fine. We will get married when you are ready."

"You’re my knight in shining armour Sam. My prince. I love you so much."

"Well I had to didn't I? As the song says."

He stood and did his dad dance routine, and sang in an off key high voice.

"If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it"

The routine got a few groans from the other dinners. They paid the bill and walked home. Sam had his arm around the future Mrs Walker.

Michelle's head was full of wedding dresses and flowers. To Michelle this was the ultimate expression of her femininity. A dream turned into reality.

Five hundred miles away in Aviemore , on the edge of the Cairngorms. Fiona was screaming at her toyboy, James.

"All of it gone. How the fuck have you spent it all? The hotel and the equipment was only £400k. We should have plenty left."

"Your cocaine addiction has used most of the rest up, and I lost some gambling."

Fiona screamed with rage.

"I'll fucking kill you, you useless prick."

James ran out to his Audi, and screeched up the driveway spraying stones as he went. A shot rang out. He heard the buckshot bounce off his boot as he saw Fiona reloading one of the shotguns they had stored in the equipment room for grouse shooting.

Fiona stood there livid. Sam had said that she would blow the money in a year. That smug bastard. They were divorced now, and she was broke. They had the property, but the business loan they took out would swallow all that up.

She decided it was time to teach that smug ex-husband a lesson. She threw the shotgun in the boot and started the car.

©Leeanna19 2022

Michelle spent most of the week online, looking at things she would need for her wedding. She hadn't even set a date yet. She had called Suzi, and told her the news. Sam could hear Suzi screaming over the phone. Typical women he thought, he smiled at the idea that Michelle was just a "typical women". She really was getting there now.

When the rapid chat and laughs had ended, Michelle put her phone down and helped Sam put on his coat. She kissed him before he left for work, and stared lovingly into his eyes.

"I love you Sam, I'm going to be the best wife ever!"

"Listen I know you're excited, but we have to plan it around you. I will marry you the way you are. You're perfect to me, but I know you want to get your breasts done. "

"I know. In a few weeks I'll see that friend of yours in Harley Street. I know it will cost, but the money from the selling mum's house has given me more than I know what to do with."

The house had sold for just over half a million. On Sam's advice she had invested Tommy's half. Tommy had pleaded guilty and after reports were taken into account about his mental health, he was sentenced to eighteen months. When he came out he would have enough money to buy himself a flat. Sam just hopped he would stay sober. He realised that Tommy, like many people were a sum of the events in their lives. Michelle had forgiven him, and she felt better about herself for doing it.

Sam knew that holding grudges and hate inside just turned you into a bitter and unfulfilled person. He tried to live his life by the wisdom of; Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Tommy would have been a much nicer person if he could have told someone how he had been treated. Sam knew though that rape is something most men just want to deny and hide. Men are meant to be strong. They say things to each other like, "I'd die before I'd let anyone do that to me." Sam knew there is always someone bigger and stronger that can. Emotionally boys are raised not to show their feelings. This leads to men like Tommy. They suffer and explode in horrible ways.

The era Tommy grew up in would have made it nearly impossible. Ireland in the past put unmarried mothers into institutions and took their children from them. It would deny claims that priests had interfered with children. The children would be punished for making the claims. Trans people in the U.K. were treated as mentally ill. They used to give them electro shock therapy to "straighten them out". It was purely torturing them until they said they didn’t want to change sex.

The world was a more accepting place now. LGBT were tolerated, if not completely accepted. Women like Michelle, still had to be made of strong stuff though. Trans seemed to be the hardest for people to come to terms with. Life could still be brutal. You would not know anyone was Lesbian , Gay or Bi. Often trans people could stand out. That was where Michelle was so lucky. For most it was far from being a bed of roses.

"Earth calling Sammy, do you read me?"

"Sorry Love I was lost in thought."

"Your sister is coming around this afternoon to discuss the wedding, she's in Cambridge now, she should get here about four."

"Great, I'm sure you can plan the whole thing in a few hours. Once you decide on a date that is."

"Don't get snarky Sam. You know what us girls are like with weddings. You can cook the dinner. "

“Ok, but you know I like to sing as I cook. That radiogram’s going to get a workout.”

Sam gave her a lopsided smile and kissed her goodbye.

"I'm taking the Leaf today. I’m going into central London. If I use the BMW. I'll pay nearly thirty pounds with the ULEZ and congestion charging."

Sam had got himself a small electric car. It was very expensive to drive in London now. Some places even charge more to park if you had a diesel car. Mayor Khan had introduced the new charge at the end of October. Sam had screamed “ KHHHHAAANNNN” at the top of his voice, doing his best Captain Kirk impression. He had, had to explain it all to Michelle.

Michelle had concluded that Sam was a geek. It was just another reason to love him. Sam knew pollution was becoming a problem in many large cities. Something had to be done.

He drove to work happy and content with his life. Everything was going to be fine. Two of his favourite women would be there when he got back from work. Life was good!

How Fiona had managed to get to the services without killing herself had been a small miracle. She had come down from her cocaine high and had thrown up next to her car. She had slept for three hours afterwards. All she had ingested in the last eight hours was half a bottle of scotch. She eyed the cocaine in her handbag, but resisted it. She loved the confidence it gave her. She would take it before she had it out with Sam. She wanted £200k from him. That should be enough to bail herself out. If he didn't transfer the money, she would let the shotgun do the talking. It all made sense to her drunken addled brain.

She went to the services and used the toilets to try to freshen up. The sat-nav said she should arrive just after 5P.M. She grabbed a coffee, and resumed her journey.

Back in Herford, Michelle sang along to Neil Diamond as she did the housework. She loved Suzi like a sister, she was looking forward to seeing her.

Fate was drawing closer, in the form of a bitter, angry, women, with a shotgun.

©Leeanna19 2022

Suzi and Michelle had immediately started looking a dresses. After an hour of searching they narrowed it down to a choice of three styles. Michelle trusted Suzi's sense of fashion. The whole thing to her was a dream come true. She was going to have her day as a bride. She wanted everything to be perfect.

Suzi had screamed when Michelle asked her to be her bridesmaid. She was a professional woman, but a woman above all. Most women loved weddings. They discussed Sam at length while they were planning what they would want for the wedding.

"I'm so lucky to have him. He's the most caring wonderful man I have ever met. You come from one hell of a family Suzi. I'm looking forward to meeting your mum."

"She's off somewhere with Greenpeace at the moment, hopefully she will be back next month."

"What was your Dad like Suzi?"

"Oh, he was the strong and thoughtful type. Sam is just like him. I'm so glad Sam found you. He needed someone as nice as you. He has a problem seeing the bad in people. I told him Fiona was borderline psychotic, but he wouldn't listen. He thinks he can fix everyone."

Michelle smiled and said.

"Yeah, that's my Sam."

"Right Michelle, let’s talk hen parties then bridal lingerie."

She gave Michelle a sexy wink and started to look up some local venues.

Fiona had stopped for some fuel at the petrol station just outside Hertford. She had an open bottle of Jack Daniels next to her on the seat. As she return to her car she sat down and took another swig. Her head span, but she drove the last mile to Sam's house.

She pulled up outside and snorted a line of cocaine. It mixed with the alcohol in her brain and gave her a false sense of confidence. In her head it was all straight forward. She would ask Sam for the money or she would tell everybody about his sordid love affair with that disgusting little tranny. The fact that she had already tried this. and failed, never occurred to her. She would take the gun in as persuasion, in case he refused.

Fiona saw Sam's car outside, so she walked to the door carrying the shotgun inside a coat in her left hand. She knocked at the door and waited. It was almost five, Michelle was expecting a pizza that she had ordered. She opened the door and turned around without looking who was there.

"One second, I'll just get my purse."

Fiona pushed through the door and into the hallway. She kicked the door closed with her foot.

"Well look who it is, little Miss tranny pants. He's not got sick of you and dumped you for a real women yet then?"

Suzi had heard Fiona and rushed into the hall.

"Oh, the lezzy shrink as well, what are you two up to? Starting a coven?"

"Piss off Fiona, you have no right to be here. Sam's divorced now, he's free of you." Suzi said.

"He can be, all he has to do is pay me two hundred thousand, and I'll stay out of his life forever."

Michelle couldn't keep quite when she heard that.

"You tried that already, you sent your poison emails, and you know what? No one cared. The world is moving away from pure hate of anyone different. There are still a lot like you, but none of Sam's friends care. So you can do your worse."

Fiona saw red. It wasn't going to plan, this should have been easy.

"Where's Sam? You don't get to talk to me like that. You want my worse, fucking fine, you got it."

Fiona dropped the coat. Michelle and Suzi saw the gun, and backed into the living room. Fiona followed pointing the shotgun at Michelle.

"Whare is he? Where's that tranny loving excuse for a man?"

"He's at work, he won't be back until tomorrow." Michelle said. Hoping Fiona would just leave.

"His fucking car's outside, don't lie."

"He has a small electric car now.”

"Huh, that figures, fake car, fake woman. He really is going down market."

Suzi could see Fiona was at the very least drunk. She knew anything could happen. She saw the barrel of the shotgun wavering.

"Listen Fiona, when he comes back, I'll ask him to call you. I'm sure he will help you out. There is no need for anyone to get hurt."

"No, I think we'll just wait until he comes home. Sit down both of you."

Fiona shut the door behind her.

After a few moments there was a knock on the door.

"Pizza, anyone home?"

"Ignore it, just stay where you are. Fucking pizza, you really are low class scum aren't you Micheal?"

They could hear a muffled conversation from outside. Sam strode into the living room carrying two pizza boxes.

"Don't worry girls, I paid."

Sam took in the worried faces, then turned to his left and saw Fiona pointing the small .410 shotgun at him.

"What the hell's going on Fiona?"

"Over there Sam. Sit next to rest of your weird family. A tranny, a lezzy and a poof. A real bunch of freaks."

Sam could see the anger flash in Michelle's eye's. He hoped she wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Fiona what do you want? Let's stay calm and talk about it."

"Right then, Sammy boy. Two hundred thousand, in my account now, or you get to choose which of these bitches I kill.

"You wouldn't do that Fiona, you're not a killer."

"You don't know what I'm capable of Sam. I married a weak excuse of a man for money didn't I?"

That stung Sam. He had guessed that was why she married him. He had loved her at first, he thought she had loved him.

"I don't have that much money. I paid off the mortgage on this place as a wedding present for Michelle. I only have nine thousand left. You can have that if you will leave."

Fiona snapped.

"You fucking queer. You go from being married to a real woman, to marrying that fucking tranny freak. I should shoot your fucking cock off."

The shotgun swung towards Sam. Michelle panicked at seeing Sam being threatened. She rushed to defend her man. Michelle reached Sam and was about to push him out of the way when the gun went off.

The room filled with the stench and smoke of the gunpowder. Screams erupted. Sam saw Fiona eject the cartridge and pull another out of her pocket. He felt the wound on his leg, wet and bloody. He leapt in front of Fiona as she put the new cartridge in. He drew back his fist and hit her as hard as he could. His fist went numb with pain as it connected with her . Sam was sure he heard a crack, he must have broken her jaw.

Fiona slid down the wall unconscious. He turned to see Suzi screaming.

"Michelle no!"

Michelle was on the floor moaning. Sam's training took over. She had damage to her groin and her femoral artery. He applied pressure to the wound to try and stop the bleeding.

"Get an ambulance Suzi!"

He could hear Michelle's breathing slow. She would need CPR soon.

"Sam you're bleeding, let me take over."

"Suzi please apply pressure here. I need to administer CPR."

The surgeon in him had taken over, he was all business, trying to save the life of his patient. As he breathed for her he noticed the tears falling from his eyes onto Michelle's face. He worked tirelessly to keep her alive. He could feel himself slowly growing cold. His own blood loss was taking it's toll.

The paramedics arrived and quickly assessed the situation. Sam refused treatment until he saw Michelle was intubated. He passed out in the ambulance as it sped toward Harlow hospital.

Sam woke as the paramedic bandaged his leg. He looked across and saw Michelle hooked up to the ECG. Her heartbeat was faint, then, to his horror, it stopped. Sam fought to stay conscious as he heard the steady tone that meant Michelle's heart had stopped.

©Leeanna19 2022

Sam woke up staring at a light fitting on the ceiling in a corridor. He was waiting assessment. Covid meant the hospital was nearly overrun. As his eyes focused he saw Suzi. He tried to sit up, but his head throbbed and he collapsed back onto the trolley.

"Suzi! Michelle?"

Suzi shook her head.

"No, no, god no please. "

"Sam please calm down. They are doing all they can, but she's in a coma."

Sam had thought she was dead. He had felt his world end.

"I'm sorry Sam, I thought you knew you came with her in the ambulance."

"No, I passed out. I thought she was dead."

He choked these words out. The lump in his throat would not go down. His chest ached with the thought of losing the love of his life.

"I must see her Suzi."

"Sam you lost a lot of blood. You should be alright in a day or two. Michelle is in a bad way. They didn't get her heart started until they arrived here. She may have brain damage. They don't know yet."

"Oh god no. Why her, she was protecting me."

Sam hands went to his face and he quietly sobbed. Suzi reach over her brother to try to comfort him.

"She is strong Sam, I'm sure she will be ok. I'll ask the doctor to see you. Maybe they will let you sit with her in ICU."

"What happened to that fucking bitch who shot us?"

"The police arrived just after the ambulance. They took her to hospital in handcuffs. I think you broke her jaw Sam."

"Good. I wish I had killed her. "

He shook his head. Doctors were meant to do no harm.

"They want to interview you when you're able. "

Later the next day Michelle's doctor and Sam had a long conversion about Michelle. She had extensive damage to her upper leg and groin area. If she came out of the coma she would need reconstructive surgery.

Sam was allowed to sit next to her bed. That was how Suzi found him the later that night. His head on the bed asleep, holding Michelle's hand.

"Sam, have you eaten?"

"Oh Suzi, no. I had a coffee a nurse got for me a few hours ago. I've been talking to her, but I don't think I'm getting through."

"I'm sure she hears you. Please go home. I'll stay with her."

"No I can't. Michelle has had such a hard life, now she might die because she met me!"

"Sam, we talked before you came home. You are her life, why do you think she put herself between you and the shotgun."

"Oh god, if only it had been me. "

Sam tears dripped on to Michelle's hand. He gently wiped them away. Suzi saw he wasn't going to leave her.

"Sam , I'll get you something from the vending machine. You must eat. Then I'll go home and get you some clothes.

Sam nibbled at the sausage roll and apple Suzi got for him. Suzi got him to drink all of the tea though.

"Try to sleep Sam. if anything happens they will tell you."

"I'll sleep here Suzi."

Suzi knew Sam always hated it when a patient died in the operating theater. He took it personally. She was worried how he would react if Michelle died. He cared so deeply for her.

I'll be back in a few hours. Please at least try to rest."

Sam stroked Michelle's hand. He talked to her about their wedding. She was going to be the most beautiful bride ever. They would kiss at he alter and she would be his wife forever. They would walk by the river, sit and watch the sun go down over the fields.

He had soon ran out of things to say, So he decided to sing. He cried as he remembered the last time he had asked her to play this song.

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so wonderful
To me

He choked out the last few words. The lump in his throat just wouldn't let the words come out.

"You look like shit Sam."

Sam looked at the door for Suzi, He could see her at the other end of the ICU. He turned to she Michelle's pale face smiling up at him.

"Michelle! You're awake!"

Suzi saw what was happening and alerted the the nurse who rushed over to check Michelle.

"How Sam? What did you do.?"

"I just sang her a Joe Cocker song. You are so beautiful."

"Oh yes , she told me she wanted that for the first dance at the wedding. She told me you asked her to play that the day she was going to leave. That was the day she fell in love with you you big lump."

Sam wanted to just hug her and take her home. He knew she was going to need further surgery, but he was more relived than he had ever been in his life.

The love of his life was going to be alright. He would make sure of that. He would look after her.

©Leeanna19 2022

Sam went to Hertford police station on the way home from the hospital. He made his statement and learned Fiona was being held at HMP Bronzefield. With Suzi's statement and Sam's along with the evidence they were likely to charge her with attempted murder. He had fractured her jaw when he hit her, but as this was done in self self defense it was unlikely he would be charged.

After he got home, he rang the hospital to check on Michelle and was told she was sleeping, and her vitals were strong. Sam made himself some soup and went to bed. The house was so empty without Michelle. He shook his head to clear away the tears. He had nearly lost her.

He couldn't imagine coming home every night to an empty house. The idea of Fiona roughing it in prison cheered him up slightly. She had always lived a life of luxury.

He was over Harlow hospital early the next day. He was rested and shaved. He had a slight limp caused by the wound in his leg. Michelle was beaming when he arrived. She looked beautiful. One of the young nurses, Sarah, had helped her with her makeup.

"Oh, yes Michelle. I see what you mean. If you ever dump him, let me know."

"Oi, hands of Sarah. That's the man I'm going to marry."

"Don't I get a say?" Sam said.

"No, you just do as you're told." Michelle said, and blew him a kiss.

When they were alone Sam sat at the end of the bed and looked serious.

"Has the specialist seen you yet."

"Yes Sam, he has. There is is a lot of damage to the muscle in my penis. It won't ever get hard again. The head and the nerve bundle are still intact though. I lost one of my testicles. I don't care, the hormones would have done some of that anyway."

"The thing is Michelle, if you weren't trans they would try to find a way to make your penis function again. They would give you a false testicle and hormone tablets. You are going the other way. I need to know if you want to transition fully or stay as you are."

"I was coming around it it Sam, but this has decided it for me. I want to be as much of woman as I can be for you."

"Listen to me Michelle. I love you. I would love you if transition fully, or stay as you are. I love what's between your ears, not your legs."

"At the moment, I feel fate has spoken. I want to go all the way Sam. What do I do?"

"I need to make a few calls. You need to recover first, but I can call in a few favors and talk to Suzi about your psychologist agreeing that you should forego the rest of the real life test. It may be possible to get your operation in the next six months. "

"If I can Sam how long until you can make love to me Sam?"

"About twelve weeks. Why?"

"Because I want to be able to make love on our honeymoon silly."

"Michelle, this is just me talking. It will take a lot of work. We will start when we get you home. Are you Ok about going back?"

"Why wouldn't I be? It's the place where I met you. I love it, especially now all the monsters are gone."

Three weeks later Michelle was well enough to go home. It was the end of November and Sam thought he'd surprise her. As the car drew up outside Michelle gasped. The whole house was lit up with Christmas lights.

"Oh Sam it's beautiful, but why?"

"It's for you Michelle . You have had so much darkness in your life, but as your fiance , I intend you to have your share of light. I'm going to give you the best Christmas you ever had."

Michelle looked at Sam with watery eyes and kissed him.

"You remembered what I said about never having a proper Christmas since my mum died."

"Hey of course I did. Come on lets get you inside."

Michelle went into the living room and sat down, while Sam made them some tea.

He came back with a tray with two mugs, biscuits and a letter for her.

She opened it. It was from her psychologist, he wanted to meet her next week. She showed Sam the letter.

"Oh good, I thought that's what it was. I've been a busy boy for you my love. If he recommends it, I have found a specialist who will operate on you early next year. That's if you haven't changed your mind?"

"Oh that's just wonderful. I'm going to be a woman!"

"Michelle, how many times do I have to tell you. You are a woman. If you want to change what's down there to feel right, do it. I will love whatever you want to do."

"You won't say that when you're banging my brains out on our honeymoon."

"Oh my god Michelle. Face of an angel, language of a navi."

She giggled and said;

"You know what the only downside to this is?"

"What?"

"How do I tell people that my fiance got me a sex change for a Christmas present?"

©Leeanna19 2022

Sorry this is so short. I will try to finish it over Christmas

Michelle enjoyed her Christmas more than she had since she was a child. She and Sam exchanged gifts, and Michelle made a traditional Christmas dinner. Michelle loved taking the role of a domestic goddess.
Halfway through March she received a letter from her psychologist approving her gender reassignment. She was both excited and nervous. Sam described the procedure to her.

“I know Sam; I have done my research. The video I saw made me a bit queasy. I don’t look pretty down there anyway. So it can’t be worse.”

“Michelle, while you’re healing it can look and smell awful. It will be very swollen. Please don’t get upset if you don’t look the way you think you should. It will all settle down after a few months.”

“The advantage of having a surgeon as a boyfriend eh? I just wish you could be the one operating on me. “

“Sorry Michelle, it would be unethical. and inappropriate because of the lack of objectivity. There is a risk in any operation. If anything went wrong, which it won’t, I would be a mess. You’re young and strong. You’ll be fine.”
“You will be there with me?”

“Yes. Simon is a brilliant surgeon. I’ll observe if possible, but I will be there when you wake.”

“If you’re there. I won’t worry. I love you Sam.”

“I love you Michelle. Remember, I will love you the same if you don’t go through with it.”

“No Sam. I know I don’t need to prove what I am to anyone. It’s something I have always wanted.”

“I have seen Simon’s work. The trans patients he has operated on are indistinguishable from genetic women without very close inspection.”

“Oh, so you make a habit of inspecting trans and genetic ladies intimate areas do you. Do you take pictures and compare them?”

“Michelle! You know what I mean.”

“Sorry Sam, I can’t help teasing. I just love seeing your face.”

“I will talk to Simon to see when he can do the procedure. Fiona’s trial is next week so probably mid-April?”

“Yes, that would be fine. I’m not looking forward to the pain, just the result. I know this will make me sound evil, but I’m looking forward to seeing Fiona again. She was always so cocky. I wonder what prison has done to her?”

“I’m sure I did love her once, but after what she did to you, it’s gone.”

Sam, Michelle and Suzi were all called as witnesses during the trial. Fiona looked a mess. Without her regular high price visits to the beauty salon, she looked very plain and tired. She stared at Sam when he was called to the witness box and shook her head when he gave his testimony.

She was found guilty and sentenced to Eleven years for attempted manslaughter. Sam explained to Michelle that Fiona would probably be out in five years if she behaves herself. Hopefully then she would be free of her drug and alcohol dependencies.

After a thorough medical and blood test, Michelle was declared fit to undertake her operation. Sam paced nervously outside. He knew she would be alright, but as he had told her, every operation carries some risk.

The surgeon was performing a penile inversion vaginoplasty. Michelle had a large amount of damage to her penis, but Simon Carrington, the surgeon had said there was still enough to work with. Sam was allowed to observe, but he found it to brutal to watch. He had performed countless operations himself, but seeing this done to someone he loved was too much.

Five hours later they wheeled her out. Simon told Sam everything was fine, there were no complications. Sam followed her as they wheeled her to recovery. He sat by her bed and waited for her to awake. He messaged Suzi and she turned up with Angus. They seemed to be spending a lot of time together recently.

A few hours later Michelle’s eyes fluttered and she looked around the room and saw the love of her life and true friends. The pain down below was enormous. She knew it had happened now.

“Did it all go OK?”

Sam carefully kissed her forehead.

“Yes my love, a success. How do you feel.”

“Like an elephant has kicked me in the nuts, then came back and stood on my crouch. “

“I’ll get the nurse to increase your pain meds. You knew about the pain though didn’t you? “

“Yes, no pain, no gain, and all that. When will I be able to see it?”

“You will need your dressing changed in a few hours, but I would leave it a while. It won’t be pretty. I’m sure it will be beautiful when you are all healed.”

Suzi leaned over and kissed her.

“Welcome to the club Michelle. Not that you weren’t in it before.”

“Thanks Suzi, it just something I wanted to do since I realized I should have been a girl. I just feel complete now.”

The nurse arrived and increased Michelle’s medication.

“She needs some rest. I promise I’ll keep my eye on her. She’ll be out for a while, so come back tomorrow.”

Michelle drifted into a deep sleep. She dreamed of her future with Sam, and of being Mrs. Michelle Walker. She had finally done it.

Michelle took a while to heal. She spent the first two weeks at home with Suzi looking after her. Suzi and Angus were sharing Sam’s old room. They were becoming very close now. Michelle wondered if they would end up married.

Before she left the hospital, they gave her a set of dilators. It felt painful and weird at first, then after a while she started to feel a slight tingle of pleasure. She didn’t yet have too much feeling, but the sensation of the lubricated dilator sliding in made her gasp.

After several checkups, she was assured that as time went on, and she healed, she should get more feeling. Suzi told her that women need as much mental stimulation as physical, to orgasm. She said the plus side was that women could achieve multiple orgasms. Sometimes though, they didn’t have any.

Sam was, as he always was, perfect. He insisted on cooking and made sure Michelle didn’t over exert herself. She started tackling the housework when Sam was at work one day. Sam was worried about her, but she insisted she needed get up and about.

She had a heavy pad in her knickers, but she felt the absence of the old male “equipment” keenly. It just felt right. She had got used to the difference in posture a few weeks after her breast implants. Now she had noticed her nipples were getting larger and more sensitive. When she dilated they made noticeable bumps in her bra. She couldn’t resist playing with them with her free hand. She imagined what it would be like with Sam.

After twelve weeks she was back to her new, old self. Suzi had told her how much her features had softened. She or Sam never noticed it as they saw each other all the time. Suzi showed her a picture from her phone taken just before Christmas. She saw the subtle changes. She looked feminine even without makeup.

Sam never asked about love making. She had used her hands and mouth a few times, at her insistence. She loved him so much, she just wanted him to be happy. This man who had taken her from a nearly suicidal, sad, frightened crossdresser to being a woman.

She thought that she was a close as she would ever get now. She was realistic enough to know she could never experience what most women did, things like periods and childbirth would never be possible.

Suzi joked she had “dodged a bullet” with that.

In May as she and Suzi were in the kitchen making dinner for their men, Michelle asked Suzi a question she had been trying to ask for a few weeks.

“Suzi I know we haven’t known each other for that long, but I just want to ask…”

“Michelle, after what we’ve been through, well especially you. You can ask me anything. I consider you a sister. I’ve seen you before and after remember. I sat beside your bed when you were recovering. You’re family.”

Michelle welled up.

“Oh Suzi, why are you and your brother so bloody perfect? What I want to ask is, will you be my maid of honor?”

Suzi blinked, her jaw went slack. Then she screamed and hugged Michelle.

“Is that a yes then?”

Sam and Angus rushed into the kitchen.

“What’s the matter? Are you OK?”

Suzi hugged Sam

“I think your future wife is ready to set a date. “

Sam looked at Michelle, who smiled, and nodded. We wrapped his arms around her. She looked into his eyes.

“I ready now Sam. I know we’ve talked about this. I feel I’m enough of a woman for you now. You don’t know how much your patience has meant to me. If you still want me, can we set a date?”

Sam leant down and kissed her. When they came up for air he said.

“I would marry you today if I could. When are you thinking of?”

“How about July. I was thinking a registry office, as neither of us are particularly religious. I need to get a dress, then we need to sort out the flowers, and we need somewhere for the reception, and we..”

“Slow down Michelle, you’ll have a panic attack.”

Angus patted Sam on the back, shook his hand, the kissed Michelle.

Suzi hugged and kissed Michelle and said.

“I’ll help sort it all out over the next few weeks. First thing first, wedding dress shopping.”

It struck Michelle then. Her dream of being a woman and getting married was going to happen. Shopping for a wedding dress. She had seen women smiling and laughing as they tried on a dress on television programs. That would be her now. The center of attention. Everyone looking at her on her big day.

One of the biggest days of many women’s lives. She was going to be privileged to experience it. A bride in an amazing white dress. Standing before an audience of friends, pledging her life to her husband.

“I going to get some champagne, you coming Angus?”

The women carried on chatting as they finished the spaghetti Bolognese.

“You’ve made my brother so happy Michelle. I’m going to enjoy helping you plan this. I offered to help Fiona. Guess what she said.”

“Err, fuck off?”

Suzi laughed. “Well a little longer than that. It was, what would a fucking dyke like you know about normal people’s weddings?”

“Did she not know you were bisexual?”

“I told her, but she insisted I was a lesbian.”

“Well I’m sure she getting her fill of those in prison now.”

Suzi laughed at that remark and said.

“How about we start dress shopping next Saturday? There’s a shop in the town. We could try one of the larger shopping centers like Bluewater if you don’t see anything you like.”

“Sound lovely. I also want to get some special honeymoon lingerie if you don’t mind helping.”

“Oh yes I love lingerie shopping. It’s nice seeing how sexy you look, but even better when you see the lust in your partner’s eyes.”

“It will be like losing my virginity for the first time.”

“Oh, you haven’t, well you know?”

“No, I sort of thought I’d save it for our wedding night. Am I being stupid?”

“No, you’re just being quaint and old fashioned. It’s one of the reasons he loves you. Just don’t expect miracles. It may take ages before you see fireworks.”

“Talking of fireworks, you and Angus seem to be a permanent item now. Any chance of me being a bridesmaid?”

Suzi flushed red and said.

“You never know. I think one of the reasons I love him is, he is so sensitive. A lot of the guys I met when I was younger at uni, were all beer, farts and wham bam, thank you mam, sex.”

“Angus seems like a nice guy. He knows how to treat people.”

“He knows his way around a woman’s body too. He asks what I want and what I like. I thought I could only get that from another woman. “

“Looks like we both have our ideal man. Come on let’s dish up the boys are back.”

They sat around eating and drinking champagne and discussing wedding plans. Sam asked Angus to be best man. He had not known him that long, but he knew it would mean so much to him.

As she ate her chocolate gateaux, Michelle smiled to herself. Everything was going well. There were no more monsters hiding ready to ruin things.

Just as she cleaned up the dinner things, the phone rang.

They sat around eating and drinking champagne and discussing wedding plans. Sam asked Angus to be best man. He had not known him that long, but he knew it would mean so much to him.

As she ate her chocolate gateaux, Michelle smiled to herself. Everything was going well. There were no more monsters hiding ready to ruin things.

Just as she cleaned up the dinner things, the phone rang.

~o~O~o~
Michelle picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello is that you Michelle?”

“Tommy is that you?”

“Yes darling. I’ve been moved to an open prison now. I’m making good progress. My sentence is being reviewed. It was after the medical reports. They have taken my being abused into account. They may want to contact you as the victim. If you don’t want me to come out I’ll understand.”

“Oh Tommy.”

She paused.

“Dad”

She had rarely called him that, only when told to by his mum.

“I told you. I forgive you and understand. What you went through would traumatize anyone. You loved mum. That’s what mattered.”

She could hear a gentle sob on the other end of the line.

“You called me dad. I wasted so much of my life on the booze and being angry. You forgave me after what I did. You are beautiful Michelle. I don’t mean yer looks, I mean yer soul. I have learned it’s people who matter. We are what we are because of friends and family.”

“Dad when you get out I have over £150k for you to buy or rent somewhere to live. You can stay with us while you look. I’ll talk to Sam.”

“Thank you Michelle. I have a lot of making up to do. It would be good to spend some time with you. Are you sure Sam won’t mind?”

“He’ll do as wife says.”

“Wife? Are you married then?”

“Not yet we are looking to tie the knot around July.”

“I..I may be out by June if all goes well. Could I give you away? It would be an honor.”

“I would love that Dad. I haven’t got many friends. It would be nice to have someone from my side of the family.”

“Church or registry office?”

“Registry I think, but Angus told me that the Church of England will marry trans people. So possibly you will get to walk me down the aisle.”

“Whatever you want Michelle. I’ll be happy just to be with you.”

“Listen dad. Let me know when they want to talk to me. I’ll be glad to.”

“Thank you lass, I…. just thank you. Can I call you again next week? Same time.”

“I would love it. We can get to know each other before you move in.”

Michelle told everyone and they all hugged her. They knew this would mean so much to her. Hopefully heal the demons of her past. It would show Tommy fully accepted his step daughter.

Suzi took Michelle to one side.

“Can I ask a big favor Michelle. It’s about bridesmaids.”

“I don’t have any Suzi, just you as maid of honor.”

“Well I met two ladies Samantha and Jenni. They work at St Mary Bethlehem as orderlies. Neither are trans. They just love dressing. They look lovely as woman. Both of them told me their greatest wish is to be a bride. Bridesmaid is the next best thing. Look here’s a photo of them on a night out.”

“Do you have their dress sizes.”

“No but I will. They’ll be so excited. Poor Samantha was outed a while back, some of the nastier guys were calling him sissy boy Samantha. I soon stopped that. We’ll go shopping for the dresses next Saturday.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

~o~O~o~

The next few months were a blur. Michelle got her dress after trying on several. It was white, or course. The top was two layers of lace that clung to her new breasts. The skirt was held out by a lace and paper nylon petticoat. It was a little old fashion, but she adored it.

The maid of honor and the bridesmaids dresses we lavender. They had white lace the high collars and the puffed sleeves. Michelle made a big thing about them all having matching underwear. They searched for most of the afternoon for the lavender Basques and French knickers. They settled for white stockings for everyone.

After returning home and having some dinner Sam showed Michelle what he had found out about having a church wedding.

“Look there was a meeting about trans people a little while ago.”

Michelle looked at the screen on his laptop.

DIOCESAN SYNOD MOTION

Welcoming Transgender People

She scanned down until she saw the relevant part

Having recognised a divergence of views within the House, the Bishops in the House of
Lords did not oppose the Bill that became the Gender Recognition Act 2004. None of
the bishops voted against the Bill, while some spoke in favor. The outcome was that a
man or woman who has been issued with a gender recognition certificate may marry
someone of the opposite sex in a Church of England church, subject to the right of
clergy to refuse to solemnise the marriage of any person whom they reasonably
believed to be of an acquired gender.

“So Michelle, if we ask the local vicar and he agrees. We can have a church wedding. I know it means a lot to you.”

“I used to go the church when I was young, my mum was quite religious. I wasn’t confirmed, but I started the process. You’ll think it’s silly, but it has always been my dream to walk down the aisle as a bride.”

“If that’s what you wish. We’ll look around until we find a vicar that will accept us.”

“I love you Sam. I don’t care if we can’t, but that would make the day perfect.”

~o~O~o~

They found the perfect place. St. Leonard’s church in Bengeo, just outside Hertford was an old Norman church. It was small and intimate, as well as being over 800 years old. Sam had told Michelle that the original Saxon church on the site was thought to have been burnt down by Vikings.

It reminded her of their first date. He was acting like a tour guide. She thought he might keep calling her “special” again. He kept saying it when they first met.

She hugged him and kissed him deeply.

“What was that for?”

“Just for being you.”

The vicar agreed, the plans were made and July arrived. Tommy had been released and he was living in the spare room. Tommy was a builder. The new sober Tommy was a very good builder. They discussed renovating the house while having dinner a few weeks before the wedding. Tommy said he could get some help and get the living room, kitchen and master bedroom done while they were on their honeymoon.

They planned to spend two weeks in Scotland in a cottage. Walking in the highlands and visiting towns and cities. Very soon the big day arrived.

Sam left with Angus, who was best man and stayed in a local hotel. A beautician came to the house and did their hair and makeup. Michelle swore Samantha and Jenni were more excited than her.

They were all in church waiting as she walked down the aisle to the wedding march. Michelle thought she would burst with happiness. The beautiful bridesmaids followed behind. All the guest’s eyes were on them. The flowers the dresses, it was overwhelming.

Sam looked so handsome as she approached him on Tommy’s arm. When Tommy stood back she saw tears in his eyes. He was a nice person now he was free of his demons. She was growing to love him.

They had agreed to the traditional vows. Michelle would promise to love, honor and obey. Sam told her he didn’t need that. Michelle said she trusted him never to hurt her, so it didn’t matter.

They said their own short vows before the official marriage.

“Michelle. You are the light of my life. You bring me so much happiness and joy. You saved my life. I will be yours for always, if you will have me. You will be my special lady forever.”

Michelle stifled a giggle when she heard “special”.

“Sam. You gave me my life. You are the kindest, and most understanding man I have ever met. You gave me the strength to be who I really am. If you will have me. I will hold you and care for you forever.”

There was applause, and tears. Everyone knew the hard road that had led to this marriage.

The vicar carried out the formal ceremony and when they said “I do” there were cheers.

Outside the church there were the usual photographs taken. The only regret Sam had was that his mother couldn’t be there. She was on Greenpeace ship blocking a Japanese whaling fleet's factory ship in Antarctica.

The reception was in a local hall. There was a disco, a buffet and a table that groaned under the weight of beer and soft drink. It was a fun old style wedding. Sam was chatting to Angus.

“Thanks Angus, it all went very well.”

“No problem. Aye, this is great fun. The D.J. is brilliant. I don’t understand why people spend so much on weddings. It’s like it’s a competition to outdo someone else.”

“Too true. It’s the people that matter. My wedding to Fiona cost me twenty thousand. This was about four. I’m enjoying this more.”

The floor was cleared for dancing. The D.J. played the Carpenter’s, We’ve Only Just Begun.

Sam and Michelle danced together gazing into each other’s eyes, like they were the only two people in the world.

Later they cut the cake and went to set off on their honeymoon. Michelle waited until the goodbyes had all been said, she stood by the car ready to throw the bridal bouquet. The bouquet went high into the air and was falling down into the open arms of Samantha. Suzi leapt up and snatched out of the air. She landed perfectly on her lavender heels, then looked at Angus and winked.

“Oh Angus! You’re a lucky man.” Said Michelle.

Angus laughed and kissed Suzi’s cheek.

“Anytime she wants Michelle, anytime.”

~o~O~o~

The drove off to Stanstead airport to catch a plane to Glasgow. Sitting on the flight Michelle couldn’t believe she was a married woman. She had a whole new life. She was so different from the person she was a few years ago. Her hand found Sam’s and squeezed it to make sure it was all real.

They hired a car at the airport and drove towards Rhue. They would not arrive until midnight, but Sam told her the drive was worth it. He said it was so beautiful there. She could hardly keep her eyes open.

The next thing she knew San was carrying her through the door of lovely log cabin.

“What are you doing Sam?”

“Carrying you over the threshold.”

Sam put her down and turned on the light.

“Took your fucking time. Now I’m going to finish what I started.”

They both stood in shock as the saw a ragged looking Fiona point a 12 gauge at them.

“What the hell are you doing here Fiona.”

“Getting my revenge for sending me to prison. Do you know what it’s like in there? Full of bloody lezzi’s like your sister.”

Michelle tried to pull Sam out of the door.

“Please Fiona you don’t need to do this.”

“No I don’t, but I will.”

The shotgun went off hitting Sam squarely in the chest and knocking him out the open door. Michelle tried to reach Sam as the shotgun fired again. She felt the pellets tear her back to shreds and passed out.

~o~O~o~

The police siren woke her and she screamed.

“Michelle what’s the matter?”

“Sam? You’re OK.”

“I’m tired, but I’m fine. We’re about five miles away. There was an accident back there. I was going to stop, but the ambulance arrived as we passed. The police siren woke you up.”

“I had a nightmare. I don’t think my mind can accept all this happiness.”

“Good things do happen to good people sometimes Michelle. You're safe. I promise.”

They pulled up outside the stone cottage. A light glowed in the window and a security light came on as they parked the car. Sam unlocked the door and went to Michelle and tried to lift her off her feet.

“Err, no Sam let’s save that for when we get home.”

They took their cases into the bedroom and both agreed they should sleep and unpack in the morning.

Michelle made them some hot chocolate and they got ready for bed. They both stripped naked and slipped into bed.

“Sam I want you to make love to your wife.”

“What you mean…?”

“Yes. I’m ready. Please I really want this.”

She had got herself ready. She knew Sam would be gentle. Nevertheless, she was still nervous.

They kissed and her hand went down and found he had an erection already. She wrapped her hand around it and gently stroked it. Sam gasped and pushed her onto her back. His mouth found her hard nipples. He licked nibbled and teased them, driving her wild.

She wanted him so badly now. I wasn’t just the nice feeling of being close to another human, it was he love she knew they shared. She wanted to please him anyway she could.

Michelle slipped under the cover and her mouth found his rock hard member.

“Oh my god that feels so good.”

She worked her tongue and her lips up and down the length of him and could hear his breathe become ragged.

“Please, I won’t last much longer.”

Michelle kissed all the way up his body and whispered in his ear.

“Now Sam consummate our marriage.”

OK, but if I hurt you just..”

“Shush Sam. You will never hurt me.”

Sam climbed on top of her and gently lifted her legs over his shoulders. Slowly he eased himself into her. He watched her eyes intently looking for signs of pain. Soon he was all the way in.

“That feels so good, are you OK?”

“Sam. Take me. I want you. Now.”

With infinite care he started pumping into her. Watching her face for distress. Gradually he lost himself to lust and sped up as he heard her sigh and moan with pleasure.

Michelle could feel him move inside her. It felt so much nicer than the hard plastic she had become used to. He was warm, hard but slight giving. It felt so much nicer having her husband inside. She could hear him groan, he was close now. She knew she would not climax. She had not managed that yet. She was happy she could be here with her man giving him pleasure. The love and closeness she felt for him was enough.

He sped up his pace then shuddered as he came. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down for an intimate kiss.

“Thank you husband. That was beautiful.”

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“No, I need you to do that to me often.”

“I’m too tired to go again now. Perhaps in the morning. Anyway you won’t need to dilate if we make love.”

“Doctors orders then Sam?”

“Come here you.”

They spooned. Michelle felt safer and happier than she had ever felt in her life. She was a married woman. She had made love to her man. All was right in the world.

December 2021 Christmas Holidays Story Contest Entry

Sam walked with Michelle through the drizzle to see the Christmas light switched on in the town centre. She was wearing a black coat with a fur lined hood a calf length skirt, thick nylon tights and flat heeled boots. She smelled amazing, thought Sam. Her sense of style had improved massively with Suzi's help. She had cultivated her own look.

"I used to love Christmas Sam. This will be my first, with a loved one since I was a child. Tommy only gave me beans on toast if I was lucky. I would hide in my room most of the time from his drunken rages."

"I know love, we understand him now though don't we. One good thing is that I'm the one to give you best Christmas you have ever had as an adult."

Michelle snuggled into him and kissed his cheek.

"You know how much I love you don't you, you big softy."

"I have an idea. This is going to be my best Christmas too. Fiona was all show and style. Hampers from Selfridge’s, champagne, but no love, no feeling. I'd have a better Christmas with you with only a bottle of lemonade, a tin soup and a candle."

"Oh matron, what would you do with that candle?"

"I wish I'd never shown you those old Carry On films. They are pretty awful, but strangely addictive. "

"Not arf" Michelle said trying her best to giggle like Barbara Windsor.

"Come on Babs, lets go to the Christmas market at the castle."

They walked around the stalls and both chose decorations for the living room and the tree.

"We have to get a tree Sam. There's a nice on over in the corner."

"I want a real tree. That’s nice , but nothing can beat the smell of the real thing."

Michelle saw Sam was getting choked up. She didn't understand.

"Sam what's wrong?"

"Nothing love. Just a silly thought. Come on lets get back, my arms are aching."

On the way Sam stopped to look at an amazing woollen ball on top of a post box. It was the size of a large classroom globe. The outside was decorated like a Christmas pudding and inside woollen animals sat around a table eating dinner. It was lit inside by tiny Christmas lights.

"What the hell is that? It's wonderful."

"Oh of course you're not from around here are you. They do that every year here. Well for the last tree years or so. It's the Yarn Bombers."

"The what?"

"The Secret Society of Hertford Crafters, or the Hertford Yarn Bombers. They're amazing there are forty-two of those all around Hertford and the surrounding area. I used to go on a Yarn Bomber walk to take pictures of them all when I was on my own. They do it for charity. It's the Samaritans this year."

"That's blood brilliant. Don't they get stolen?"

"No. One did once, but it was returned after a few days. I marvel at how nice it is here, when you consider the centre of London is only twenty or so miles away."

They got home and left the bags in the corner of the living room. Sam made them a stir fry and they sat in front of the television watching Carry On Matron. Michelle was in hysterics, laughing at the sight of Kenneth Cope disguising himself as a nurse. The part where his father held up some black lace knickers and told him to put them on made her snicker.

"I would have loved it if it was me Sam. Look he's wearing suspenders too."

Sam thought of how much she had changed over the past few months. She used to be so sensitive about being trans. She just accepted it as part of her life now.

"I hear you and Suzi are going to London to do some shopping Friday."

"Yes, you know she's moving down to Hoddesdon soon. She got that job at the Lambeth Hospital."

"Yes, she told me. That's great, We're going to see more of her now."

"Did she tell you she's moving in with an old boyfriend too?"

Sam smiled at that remark. Women he thought. They talk to each other about relationships, but keep us men in the dark.

"What's his name."

"Angus I think she said. Probably Welsh then."

Sam poked her in the ribs. He had meet Angus. A warm ginger haired Scot, with a strange English, Scottish hybrid accent.

"Don't let Angus hear you say that."

"Oh course not silly. He's coming round with her Thursday night. I said we'd buy them an Indian.

"Not a curry,you know I hate curry."

Michelle started to playfully strangle him.

"You lying sod. You'd eat curry every day of the week if it was up to you."

"I give in Michelle. I will eatess the nasty curryisis."

The last part was said in a passable Gollem voice. Lord of The Rings was another favourite of the couple's now.

Angus and Suzi waited while Sam and Michelle plated up the food. Sam was almost dribbling at the smell of the food.

"You ordered too much Sam. We'll never eat all this."

"That's the idea, I'll have a breakfast curry. Mmm lovely."

"If I was married to you yet , that would be grounds for divorce."

"Well tell me now, cos I ain't changing."

She smacked his backside. and said;

"Don't you ever change. I love you worts and all."

They had a brief hug and served the food.

Suzi told Sam about her job during their meal. Angus was quite. Like Michelle, he couldn't get a word in. The brother and sister had a lot of catching up to do. Later they both went into the kitchen to wash up. Still talking about hospitals and doctors.

Angus looked across at Michelle as she played with her hair. He touched her hand to get her attention.

"They are quite a pair aren't they."

"Yes, they are possibly the nicest people I have ever known, they have helped me so much."

"Aye, Suzi helped me too. I was so depressed when I first met her. She helped me through it."

"Yes, Sam saved me. I probably wouldn't be here it it wasn't for him. He saved my life more than once."

"Oh please Michelle no, don't ever think that way."

Michelle could see Angus was on the verge of crying.

"Sorry Angus. Please what happened to you. Please tell me."

She reached over and held both his hands.

"I know you're trans Michelle. Suzi told me, not for your benefit, but mine. I never would have guessed, by the way. You are stunning."

"Thank you Angus, that's a kind thing to say, but why is my being trans relevant?"

"I grew up in Inverness. My best friend Finn and I were inseparable. We both wanted to be doctors. We were going to save the world. At medical school I could see he was upset and suffering, I just didn't know why. Then one day a lecture was cancelled and I came back to our room early."

Michelle could almost guess the next word's.

"Finn was dressed from head to toe as a woman. Full makeup everything. I laughed at him. God help me he was my best friend and I laughed at him. I regret that to this day. I wish I could take it back."

"Well tell her Angus. Apologize."

"I canna, she's dead."

She saw tears well up in his eyes. Glancing towards the kitchen she could hear their partners laughing. She moved closer and hugged him."

"Come on tell me the rest."

"She broke down and pleaded with men not to tell anyone. She explained she had been caught once by her father and he took his belt to her. She said she just couldn't help it. She just so wanted to be a girl."

"Yes Angus. I know how she felt. What did you do."

"My best friend was asking for my help, what could I do but help her. I said she looked pretty and I would support her whatever she wanted to do."

"That's good. Having friends is so important to girls like us. We need a lot of support and sometimes a shoulder to cry on."

"Aye, she did that many a time. I used to take her out to pubs and clubs in different towns where no one recognised her. She grew into her female life and cherished the time she had as Isla. She would come home bubbly and so happy. We would chat all night. Isla was a happier person than Finn."

She could see this was hard for Angus. She squeezed his hand and nodded for him to continue.

"I saw how my best friend needed to be a woman to be complete, and I encouraged her. She started to attend lectures as Isla. Mostly people just accepted her. She had a few comments from ignorant idiots, but she was more or less happy living full time as Isla. She was so confident, she went home dressed at half term."

"What did her parents think?"

"That was the problem. They were old school Catholics. I only got her to tell me parts of it. They had a huge row and they threw her out. After she came back to our digs I overheard her father telling her to never come home again. She pleaded with her mother, but she just told her she was dead to them. Can you imagine telling you only child that? Just because of the way she acted and dressed. They told her she was evil."

Michelle nodded and gently stroked his hair. She felt his pain recalling these sad events.

"I tried to comfort her but she was so upset. She hadn't eaten and we had no food in the flat. I was only gone for fifteen minutes, honestly Michelle. Wh..when I came back she was dead in the bath. She had cut her wrists."

Angus sobs brought Suzi running. Michelle pulled his face to her chest.

"It's alright, it wasn't your fault Angus."

Suzi knelt down and took his face in her hands.

"Come on baby, we've talked through this. It's not on you. You were the one that helped her."

"I know Suzi, but if I hadn't Finn would still be alive."

Michelle patted his head and said;

"Trust me Angus, the time she had as Isla was the happiest time of her life. If it wasn't for Sam I don't know what would have happened. I considered killing myself before I met him."

Sam was shocked at her words. He had no idea how being forced to hide who she was had affected her.

Angus jumped to his feet and hugged Michelle hard.

"Don't you ever think about that Michelle. Anything you need or want I will be here for you. Between the three of us, you will have all the support you need. I want you to become who you should be, for Isla's sake."

"Thank you for saying that. Anytime you get sad just call me or come and see me. Any friend of Suzi's is a friend of mine. Please don't blame yourself for other people's mistakes. I've seem where that leads. We are all on this earth for such a sort time. We can waste it on attacking each other, or we can help each other. Sam and his sister have shown me the way."

Sam thought he'd lighten the mood and said;

"Yeah, we're the super twins."

"We're not twins you big lummox. Anyway I'm much better looking than you!"

Suzi winked at Michelle as she said it.

Michelle looked around at the faces. These were good people she couldn't believe how lucky she was. This year had turned her like around.

"Would you please join us for dinner on Christmas day. Sam said he's going to give me the perfect Christmas. I'd like to share it with you both."

This lighted the mood further. They all went into the living room and Sam opened a bottle of wine. Soon the conversation turned to Christmas songs. Sam favourite was Greg Lake, I believe in Father Christmas. Michelle loved Fairytale of New York. Suzi's favourite was Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody. She impressed them by telling them that Slade make half a million every year from that song. Angus liked Chris de Burgh, A Spaceman Came Travelling, he was a massive Sci-fi geek growing up.

Sam and Michelle went to bed that night talking about what they needed to buy for Christmas day. Michelle loved these normal domestic conversations. She had the last word. After all she was the lady of the house.

Friday morning she got up and made Sam's breakfast and saw him off to work with a kiss. Suzi arrived at eight thirty and they walked to Hertford North train station.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Michelle?"

"Yes, more than ever now."

They boarded the train to London.

Later that night they had eaten dinner and they both decorated the Christmas tree. Tinsel, lights and baubles.

"Sam can you do me a favour. Kneel down and face the tree near the fire place."

"Why?"

"Just do it I have a present for you. Close your eyes."

Sam knelt down and felt the heat coming from the fire.

Michelle turned off the TV, and turned the radiogram on. After the valves warmed, Sam heard the beautiful tinkling sound of the beginning of I believe in Father Christmas.

"Oh wow you found it on a 45 so we could play it on the radiogram. Thank you."

"Look in my eyes now, what do you see? "

Sam saw the reflection of the fire in her eyes and the sparkling tinsel from the tree. He heard Greg Lake sing;

A winter's light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

Michelle put her arms out to Sam and fell into them. He was crying.

"Suzi told me. Your father died at Christmas and that was his favourite song. He stood you in front the tree so you could see his eyes full of tinsel and fire. That's why you wanted a real tree. It's OK to cry Sam. You are so strong for everyone. You need to think of yourself sometimes. It's normal that you miss him. I'm here for you now."

"I miss him so much Michelle, and Christmas always reminds me. I keep quite about it, it's my problem, but I don't really enjoy Christmas because of it."

"No Sam, it's our problem. I want you to tell me all about him. He sounds like a lovely man and father."

"He was Michelle."

He hugged her close and squeezed her hard.

"Ohwwww"

He released her.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to hold you and never let you go."

"It's not you love."

Michelle unbuttoned her blouse. Sam gasped. Michelle was wearing a surgical support bra. Her saw her cleavage was real. She had a pair of 36 C cup breasts.

"Well this is your other present, but you can't unwrap it for about six weeks though."

They sat on the sofa and talked into the night. Sam told Michelle all about his father. He went to bed feeling optimistic that he would enjoy Christmas this year.