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A Conversation with Mother - Secret Girl

Author: 

  • Leeanna19

Audience Rating: 

  • Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication: 

  • 500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre: 

  • Transgender

Character Age: 

  • Child

TG Themes: 

  • Sweet / Sentimental

TG Elements: 

  • Panties / Girdles

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)


A Conversation with Mother - Secret Girl

I heard the front door close. The noise of my brothers laughing and bouncing the football carried through my bedroom window. I heard my father say.

“Be careful of the road.”

As they made their way to the park to kick the ball about.

I had told them I just want to play in my bedroom.

“Ok, suit yourself.”

Was the reply. I went to the cupboard to look for my battery operated record player when my mother called.

“Simon, can you come downstairs please.”

I knew I was in trouble, because of what happened earlier.

I had gone into my parent’s bedroom and opened the top draw of my mother’s chest of drawers. Inside were lots of pairs of my mum’s knickers. I had run my hands up and down the frilly underwear. I pulled out a pair of blue knickers with stiff short lace on the legs. The lace tickled my hands. I wanted to put them on.

I had stripped off my pants, and stepped into the knickers. I pulled them all the way up and felt the nylon and lace tickle as they moved up my legs. They fell down straight away. I was a six year old boy, there was no way they would stay up. I held them in both hands and pulled them up. In the mirror I saw myself a six year old boy in women’s knickers. Did this mean I was a girl now?

My father burst into the room.

“What the bloody hell do think you’re doing. Take those off, Don’t dare ever do that again.”

My heart felt like it was going to burst. I had never seen him so angry. He had smacked me before, but his voice scared me. I must have done something very bad. I dressed and he shoved me out the door. Would he tell my brothers? Would he hit me.

I ran to my bedroom and curled upon the bed.

Later I had eaten my lunch with the family and there was no mention of what I had done. Now my mum wanted me to come downstairs. I stood in front of her and she asked the question I dreaded.

“Why did you wear my knickers?”

My tears fell.

“I’m sorry mum, I didn’t mean to I..”

“It’s ok , I just wanted to know why.”

I want to be a girl mum. Why do you make me be a boy?”

She looked at me, with a startled expression.

“We don’t make you be a boy, you are a boy darling.”

“Why can’t I just dress as a girl? I’ll be a girl then.”

“Why do you want to be a girl?”

I don’t like playing war and fighting. I want to play hopscotch with the girls, but they won’t let me, they won’t play with me because I’m a boy.”

“Do you just want to play with the girls then?”

I want to be a girl mum. I want people to see my pretty clothes and to tell me how pretty I am. If you buy me a dress then I will be a girl, please mum, please.”

She hugged me tight and whispered into my ear.

“It’s not that easy Simon. Girl and boys are different. Down there.”

“Down where mum?”

“You have your little willy in your pants. Ladies and girls just have a hole.”

This was a revelation. I thought that some people wore nice clothes and had long hair and were girls. I thought that if I could wear a dress, I could be a girl.”

My lips quivered, and the tears began again.

“Can you cut it off for me and make me a girl mum?”

“Oh my poor baby, do you want to be a girl, that badly?”

“Yes mum, I hate being a boy, make me a girl mum, please.”

She stroked my hair as she hugged me. She whispered in my ear.

“I will buy you a dress and other girls’ things. You must never tell anyone. I mean anyone. Not your brothers, dad, nan, granddad or your friends. If you do, it will stop. You can be my secret daughter. Every month I will keep you off school for a day and you can stay home with me and be a girl. You can’t go out and play, but I will teach you girl things and play girls games with you. Would you like that?”

“Yes please mum. Thank you, thank you.”

I hugged and kissed her. I was going to be a girl, a secret girl.

“I think my secret girl is going to be called Debbie, do you like that?”

My smile lit up the room.

*************************************************************************************************************************
Well it would have, but in reality, in that unremarkable house in north London in 1969, nothing remarkable happened. I just sat alone in my room and played with my least boyish toys.

The part where I got caught is true, the rest is what I wished would have happened.

A Conversation With Mother - A Girl On A Train

Author: 

  • Leeanna19

Audience Rating: 

  • Younger Audience (g/y)

Publication: 

  • 500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre: 

  • Transgender

Character Age: 

  • Child

TG Themes: 

  • Voluntary

TG Elements: 

  • Shopping

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)
A Conversation With Mother - A Girl On A Train
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A week and a half after mum said I could be her "secret girl", she quietly shook me awake in the bedroom I shared with my younger brother Paul.

"Wake up sleepy, when Paul wakes up pretend you have a stomach ache and I'll keep you off of school. You must stay in bed until everyone is gone."

I had been pestering her as to when I could be her girl for days. She had told me if I kept asking she would get angry and it wouldn't happen. So I stopped asking and quietly preyed she would keep her promise.

Today was the day, I was going to be a girl!

Hiding my head under the cover and moaning that I felt sick did the trick. I heard my father leave for work, then my brothers leave for school. My older brother Terry saying that I was a lazy wimp before he left.

I could not contain my excitement as my mother entered the room.

"Can I be your girl now mum please, please!"

"Calm down, yes I have a treat for you. Get washed first."

I washed and brushed my teeth in record time and mum directed me into her room. On the bed there were a pair of white girls knickers. They had light lace around the openings and a small rose bud sewn onto the front. Next to it was a white vest in the same style.

"Come on, lets get my little girl dressed."

My stomach did flip flops as I stepped into the knickers. As they were drawn up my legs I thought I would burst . After the vest was on, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a little disappointed, I still looked like a boy. The underwear felt so nice though.

My mum picked up on things, like they do.

"What’s wrong?"

“I like my knickers mum , but I'm still a boy.”

“Just wait, I told you it would be a surprise.”

She then dressed me in my school shorts, shirt and jumper.

My bottom lip quivered.

“Don’t worry love, mum’s promised you. You will be my little girl today.”

I put on my white patterned socks and brown sandals. My mum picked up a large shopping back and walked me out the door.
I had no idea where we were going, I just wanted to get home and be a girl. We walked to the top of the road and turned into Turkey Street. After a short walk we turned into the train station.

I asked mum where we were going, as she paid for our tickets.

“We’re going to Waltham Cross, shopping. Remember if anyone asks you, you are off school because you are sick.”

We only had a short wait for a train, when it arrived, mum headed for an empty compartment. The carriage had separate compartments with two bench seats opposite each other.

She slammed the door behind us and said.

“Quickly take your shorts, shirt and jumper off.”

As I was getting undressed she produced a blue sailor dress with white piping from the bag. I had just finished taking off my jumper. Mum helped me with the buttons of my shirt and dropped the dress over my head.

I had a dress on! I looked down and saw the dress came level with my knees. I felt mum pull the zip up, and the dress tightened around my chest.

My dress.

“We haven’t got time to waste, quickly turn around and I’ll put your wig on.”

As I turned she placed a blond curly wig on my head, and took a few moments to straighten it. Just then the train started to slow. Mum said quick take your shorts off. As I slipped them down my legs, I felt the dress brush my legs. I felt almost naked. The feeling of the air under my skirt was extraordinary.

I saw my reflection in the window, I was a girl! Finally I was now a real girl.

Mum hugged me. I must have had the biggest smile in the world. She stuffed my clothes into to bag and we stepped out of the carriage, mother and daughter. I felt the breeze ruffle the hem of my dress. I could not have been happier.

This was better than birthday’s, Christmas and summer holiday.

“Are you alright Debbie? We’re going shopping for another dress for you. Would you like that?”

“Yes please, you’re the best mummy in the world.”

And to Debbie, at that moment she was.

***********************************************************************************************************************

When I was seven I thought about how my mum could take me out dressed as a girl without the neighbors seeing. This is what I dreamed up. Sadly it never happened .


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