Janegirl Camp Map
Copyright 2021 by Heather Rose Brown

This is a map I created for my story, Janegirl Camp. It shows most of the major structures there. I may add more to this map later, as the story progresses, but I think this map, for the most part, is complete. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to add a comment to this post, or send me a private message.

The grey parts of the map are gravel roads, and parking areas. The tan parts of the map are sandy paths and areas. The light green parts of the map are grass, and the dark green parts are trees. The buildings marked W through Z are cabins for camp counselors. The buildings marked B through V are cabins for the campers and cabin counselors, and are named after flowers. Below are their names:

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 1
Copyright 2021 by Heather Rose Brown

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Gravel crunched under our heavy duty tires when Dad drove the truck into a parking area hedged in by scrubby pines and spruce trees. The butterflies in my stomach went from fluttering to dive-bombing each other when he pulled the key out of the ignition, and asked, "You all ready, Zee?"

"Daaaad," I said as I crossed my arms. "I only use that name when I'm ... dressed."

My dad raised an eyebrow. "So, you're not dressed now?"

I looked down at my t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers. Normal boy stuff. Okay, the shirt was pink. So were my sneakers. But ... boys are allowed to allowed to wear pink. Right? And my shorts were blue denim. Blue was a boy color. That made up for the pink. Didn't it?

I shrugged and said, "I dunno."

My dad draped a muscular arm across my shoulders and asked, "What is it you don't know?"

I shrugged again and said, "Everything."

One of Dad's cheeks dimpled as he asked, "Care to be more specific?"

"I dunno 'bout lotsa stuff, but mostly, I ain't sure 'bout goin' to this camp."

"Why's that?"

I looked down at the glittery laces on my sneakers and said, "While I knew how much ya love Aunt Steph, even though she used to be your brother, I was still really nervous 'bout lettin' ya know I was ... different."

My dad gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze as he said, "Nothing wrong with being different."

"I know, but ... bein' different at home is lots different from bein' different where others can see me bein' different."

"Hey," Dad said as he reached under my chin and turned my head toward him. "Do you think I'd take you anywhere I thought it wasn't safe for you to be yourself?"

"Well ... no ... but I ain't sure somethin' called Janegirl Camp is the place for me."

My dad was quiet for a few seconds, then he asked, "Would you like to leave?"

I blinked, then asked, "You'd be okay with that?"

"Of course. I brought you here so you can explore what it means to be you, not to force you into anything you feel uncomfortable doing."

"I dunno if I could find what it means to be me surrounded by a bunch of boys in dresses curling each others hair, and stuff like that."

Dad nodded, then said, "You may see *some* of that here, but not all janegirls are like that."

I frowned and asked, "Do ya think I'm a janegirl?"

My dad kissed my forehead, then said, "Only you can answer that."

"But ... how do I know?"

"Well, there's a camp orientation meeting in about ..." Dad checked his watch. "I'd say, a little over ten minutes. Want to head in, and see if they might have some answers?"

The butterflies in my stomach were still buzzing around, but I was feeling a smidge more curious than scared. "Yeah," I said, hoping I looked braver than I felt, "I guess I can at least give it a try."

Dad tousled my hair as he said, "That's the Zee I know and love."

On a wild impulse, I leaned up as far as my seatbelt would let me, and kissed his cheek.

My dad stared in shock for a moment, then gave me a huge bear hug. His voice seemed to break a little when he asked, "You ready to head in?"

I sniffled while hugging back, then put on a smile when I let go and said, "So long as I know ya got my back, I'm ready for anything."

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 2
Copyright 2021 by Heather Rose Brown

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Bells hanging over the entrance to the admin building jangled and tinkled when Dad opened the door. Even though it wasn't late enough in the day to have really gotten hot, it was still a relief to go from the mugginess outside to cool, dry air when we walked through the doorway.

An antique looking desk was huddled in the middle of the cramped office we'd entered. A large, cardboard sign that read, 'Camp Signups and Info' was taped to the front of the desk. The pretty lady behind the desk looked up from her monitor, then smiled at us and said, "Good morning!"

I tried saying something back, but nothing came out. I smiled instead, then reached for my dad's hand as we walked in. Yeah, I know eleven-year-old boys ain't supposed to hold hands with their dads. But, at that moment, it was just something I really needed to do.

Dad gave me a reassuring smile while wrapping his fingers around mine. He turned to the lady and grinned, then said, "Good morning," when we stopped in front of her desk.

The lady's fingers froze in place above her keyboard. She blushed the way most women, and a few men do, when my dad talks to them. "Welcome to Janegirl Camp," she said while tucking a strand of reddish-brown hair behind her ear. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Dad nodded and said, "I hope so. I registered my son for camp a few days ago. I believe he's scheduled to be attending an orientation meeting in a few minutes. Could you help us find our way to the meeting?"

"Of course," she said while resting her fingertips on the keyboard. "Could you give me your son's first and last name?"

"Sure. It's Ezekiel McGlyph," he said while giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

Her keyboard clattered as she typed, then she said, "Ah, found him," She turned to me and asked, "You here to support your brother, sweetie?"

"Ummm ..." I said while trying to make sense of the question. "I ... ain't got a brother."

The lady blushed again when she said, "I apologize for the misgendering. With the name your sibling was registered under, I'd made the mistake of assuming --"

Dad let go of my hand and said, "Actually," then stroked the back of my head as he said, "Ezekiel is my only child."

She stared at my dad for a few moments, then said, "When I first saw how ..." she shook her head, then looked at me and said, "I'm so sorry. Is there a name you prefer to use when you're en femme?"

I frowned and asked, "En ... what?"

The lady smiled, then said, "En femme means presenting as a girl."

It took me a second before some of the research my dad and I had done came back to me, and I remembered what presenting meant. I glanced down at myself, just to make sure my clothes hadn't magically changed, then looked up and said, "But ... I'm wearin' boy clothes."

"Perhaps", she said as her smile grew, "but there's more to presentation than what you wear."

"Oh," I said while turning the idea over in my head.

"So," the lady said while letting her hands hover over the keyboard, "Is there anything else you'd like to be called, besides Ezekiel?"

"Well ..." I said while looking up at my dad. When he smiled and nodded, I looked back at the lady and said, "When I'm home, and dressed like a girl, Dad calls me Zee."

"That's a pretty name," she said as she typed.

Even though it was a special name to me, because it was a name my dad gave me, I'd never really thought of it as pretty. Still it felt nice to have someone besides Dad saying anything about me was pretty, so I said, "Thank you."

The lady winked at me while hitting a few more keys, then said, "Okay, everything is all set up. Orientation will be starting in a minute. If you head through the door to your left, and go all the way down to the end of the hall, you should make it to the main assembly area just in time."

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Dad and I searched through rows of metal-and-plastic folding chairs lined up on either side of the huge, crowded room. Eventually, we found a couple of empty seats near the back, and sat down. A few seconds later, an older woman in in a long, grey dress strode up the center aisle.

She hitched up her skirt, then climbed the steps to the low stage at the front of the room. While someone adjusted her microphone, she patted at the loose bun in her dark brown hair. She looked out at her audience when the helper left, and the low murmur around me faded away.

Even though she didn't smile, there was a twinkle in her silver eyes, and a warmth in her voice, when she said, "Good morning, and welcome to Janegirl Camp." A few kids near the front said something I couldn't make out, and she looked at them with might have been a grin.

The almost grin vanished when she looked up at the rest of us, but the warmth in her voice was still there when she said, "My name is Martinique Roberts. As some of you may have heard, I'm the head mistress at a finishing school not too far from here."

The group near the front started chattering, then went quiet when she raised an eyebrow while looking at them. I found myself hoping she'd never give me a look like that when she said, "I'm also the director of this camp. While I'm known as Madam Martinique at school, you may refer to me as Ms Roberts while here at camp."

Ms Roberts scanned the crowd as she said, "I'm sure some of you have questions, and I'll be happy to answer them in a moment. But first, I'd like to answer some of the more common questions, as well as provide a description of what you might expect here at Janegirl Camp."

The camp director wiggled the microphone from its stand, then began strolling from one end of the stage to the other. "The first question I'm usually asked is, 'What is a janegirl?' The short answer is, 'A janegirl is the opposite of a tomboy.' But, just as not all tomboys are exactly alike, the same can be said about janegirls."

She stopped when she reached the middle of the stage, and said, "The second question I'm often asked is, 'Why is this called Janegirl Camp?' Basically, that's because the first camp had been designed as a place where janegirls could feel free to be themselves."

"But," Ms Roberts said as she held up a finger, "after a few years, others started showing up at camp who didn't specifically identify as janegirls. That's when we decided to open Janegirl Camp to anyone who was assigned male at birth, but who didn't always want to act, dress, or identify themselves as male."

She said some more stuff while walking from one side of the stage to the other. I didn't really pay attention. I was too busy wondering what sorts of boys, or not-boys, I'd be meeting at camp. When my dad nudged me in the ribs, I turned to him and said, "Huh?"

"She's answering questions now," he whispered into my ear.

"Oh," I said while my heart started thumping in my chest.

"Did you still want to ask your question?"

"I guess so," I said as I raised my hand.

Before my hand was more than halfway up, Ms Roberts pointed to me, and asked, "Would you like to stand, and give us your name?"

My legs turned into soggy spaghetti when someone handed me a microphone. I managed to stand anyway, then said, "I'm ... umm ... Ezekiel, but if it's easier, ya can call me Zee."

The camp director gave me a warm smile as she said, "Both names sound lovely, but which one is easier to say isn't as important as which one you'd like me to use." Her expression turned a little more serious as she asked, "Which name would you prefer?"

"Well ... I kinda like both, but I usually use Ezekiel when I'm tryin' to hide how I'm ... different. When I'm bein' myself 'round my dad, I usually go by Zee." I swallowed my nervousness, then said, "Since this is a place he said I'd be able to be myself, I'd like to go by Zee here too."

Ms Roberts' smile brightened as she said, "It sounds like you have a very special father."

My cheeks warmed when I nodded and said, "Yeah, I do."

"So, Zee ... what question did you want to ask?"

My mind was a total blank for a moment, then I thought back to what I'd been talking about with my dad in the truck, and said, "How do ya know if you're a janegirl?"

"Well," she said as she rubbed her chin, "a janegirl is a boy who prefers acting or dressing in a way a girl is usually expected to dress or act. Knowing if that, or some other identify fits you, can only be determined by taking a close look at yourself. It also requires you to ask yourself questions, and allowing yourself to be yourself, rather than what others say you should be."

I mumbled something I hoped sounded like, "Thank you," then handed the microphone back before sitting down. I sorta heard others ask questions, but my brain was too busy chewing on what Ms Roberts had said. Janegirl Camp was starting to feel like it'd be something I'd never, ever forget.

If you'd like to find about Martinique Roberts, and the school where she's a head mistress, while she's not being a camp director, you may want to take a look at a story I wrote a while ago, called, "Madam Martinique's Finishing School".

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 3
Copyright 2021 by Heather Rose Brown

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The trees on either side of the path my dad and I were following were just tall enough to keep the late morning sun from shining directly on us. Birds were twittering in the distance, and crickets chirped from under the bushes and ferns spread across the forest floor. A cool breeze whispered through the trees, bringing the scent of pine needles, and other green things.

Dad switched from carrying my suitcase between us to his other side, then held his hand out to me. I looked up and smiled at him as I slid my hand into his. Loose sand crunched under my sneakers when I started skipping beside my dad. It was so nice to be able to hold hands with him in public, without worrying about other kids giving me grief.

I skidded to a stop when someone yelled something. Even though the voice sounded friendly, cold fear still curled up in my stomach. I let go of Dad's hand as I turned to the voice, and saw an older teen with long, black hair. She smiled at me as she closed the door of an honest-to-goodness log cabin, then bounced down a few wooden steps.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, then asked, "Whatcha say?"

"I'd said, 'Hey there, happy camper!' " she answered as she walked towards me. "I'm Jessica," she said when she stopped in front of me and held out her hand. Her smile grew as she asked, "What's your name?"

Some of the fear in my stomach melted when I saw how nice Jessica was being. "I'm ... umm ... Ezekiel," I said as I shook hands with her, "but while I'm here at camp, ya can call me Zee."

"So nice to meet you," Jessica said when she let go of my hand. "Oh wait," she added while pulling a phone from the hip pocket of her shorts. After flipping through a few screens, she asked, "Is your last name McGlyph?"

"Uhhhh ... yeah."

She grinned and said, "Awesome! I'll be your cabin counselor." She pointed to the building behind her, and said, "Welcome to Dandelion Cabin, your home away from home."

My shoulders drooped when I realized what was going to happen next. "Ah," I said as my stomach tightened, "thanks."

Jessica rested a hand on my shoulder, then bent down a little and whispered, "I promise ... it's gonna be okay." She shoved her phone into a pocket after standing back up, then turned to my dad and asked, "Is that Zee's suitcase?"

A corner of Dad's mouth curled up as he said, "Oh yeah. I know clothes are made available for all campers, but I thought it might be nice if he had a couple of special things from home."

She nodded and said, "Having something from home can definitely help with feeling homesick, especially during the first few days of camp." She held a hand out towards the suitcase as she asked, "Would you like me to hold that, while you give Zee a hug?"

Dad gave her a wide smile as he said, "I'd appreciate that." After passing the bag over to Jessica, he got down on one knee, opened his arms to me, and said, "C'mere, butterfly."

Tears wer trickling down my cheeks even before he pulled me close. I buried my face in his shoulder, and thought back to the first day I got to wear something girlish. I'd been fluttering around the house all day with excitement. That's when he first called me his pretty butterfly.

I lifted my head and said, "I love ya so much," while hugging my dad around the neck.

"I love you too," he said while hugging back. Even though he wasn't exactly crying when he let go of me, his eyes were shinier than usual when he said, "Now I want you to be a good boy, but I also want you to have fun, and ... most important ... be yourself."

I nodded and said, "I'll do my best."

As I reached up to wipe my runny nose with the back of my hand, Jessica whipped out a small packet of tissues and said, "Here you go."

"Thanks," I said as I pulled out a tissue.

"Could I get one of those too?" my dad asked.

"You bet," my cabin counselor said while holding the pack out to him.

I grinned through my tears when I realized why he'd asked for a tissue, then held mine over his nose while asking, "All ready, Papa Elephant?"

"All ready, Baby Elephant," he said while covering my nose with the tissue he was holding.

We both made loud, trumpeting noises while blowing each other's noses. I giggled a little, and my dad chuckled. After wiping at my eyes with his tissue, he stood and said, "Guess it's about that time."

I let out a deep sigh, then said, "I'm gonna miss ya."

Dad pulled me into another hug. "I'm gonna miss you too. But, I promise, I'll be here on Family Day."

I leaned back in his arms and looked up while asking, "With bells on?"

He grinned and said, "You betcha." After letting go, my dad kissed the top of my head, then strolled down the forest path. I waved when he turned and looked at me. He smiled and waved back, then disappeared around a bend in the path.

I could feel a good crying jag coming on when Jessica patted my shoulder and asked, "Wanna head inside and meet one of your cabin mates?"

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded in answer, then followed my camp counselor into the place that, for the next couple of weeks, was going to be my home away from home.

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The cabin door made a solid clunking noise when I closed it. After taking a deep breath of cool, lemon-scented air, I stepped around from behind Jessica. A girl who looked close to my age smiled at us while brushing wavy brown hair over her shoulder, then slid a drawer into a dresser with a hip bump.

"Hey Jess!" she said while walking towards us. Her summery green dress swayed around her knees when she stopped in front of us and said, "I'm all done unpackin' now."

Jessica set my suitcase down on the floor, then held out a thumb to the girl and said, "Way to go, Raine!"

Raine gave our counselor a huge smile. Her smile fell when she looked at me and asked, "You okay?"

I shrugged and said, "I guess so."

Jessica rubbed my back as she said, "Zee just got through saying goodbye."

Raine looked from her to me, then asked, "Ya use neopronouns?"

I frowned and asked, "Whuh?"

She looked back at our counselor and asked, "Didn't ya say ze just got through sayin' goodbye?"

"Ah," Jessica said as she let her hand drop from my back. "I see where the confusion is. Zee, with two e's, is the name of your new cabin mate. I wasn't using ze, with one e, as a pronoun." She turned to me, and asked, "Speaking of pronouns, do you have any preferences?"

After a couple of seconds thinking, I remembered what pronouns were, then said, "I guess ... the boy kind."

Jessica crouched down beside me, then asked, "Are you sure you want people calling you he and him?"

I crossed my arms tight across my chest and said, "Of course!"

She scanned me from head to toe and back, then said, "So long as you're happy with it, that's all that matters." She rested her hand on my wrist as she added, "But ... if you ever change your mind, that'll be okay too."

My brows slid up to my bangs as I asked, "How can I change somethin' like that?"

Raine grinned and said, "It's easy. Ya just open the camp app on your phone, hit the personal info tab, and pick whatever gender ya like."

I looked at my cabin mate for a second, then asked, "How can an app change whatcha are?"

There was a deep warmth in her sky blue eyes as she said, "It don't change anything 'bout ya." She tapped the middle of my chest as she said, "It just lets others know what's in here."

Something fluttered where my cabin mate had tapped, but I couldn't tell if it was fear or excitement. Maybe it was a bit of both. "Is it okay if I use boy pronouns ... at least for now?"

Jessica nodded and said, "Absolutely. How you identify, and when you want to let others know how you want to identify, is totally up to you."

I grinned and said, "So, if I wanted to go from sayin' I'm a boy to like ... a butterfly ... I could?"

"You'd need to select 'Other' in the app, then write in 'butterfly'," my cabin counselor said when she let go of my wrist, "but you wouldn't be the first to add a new option to the gender list."

"Wow," I said when I realized my joke was being taken seriously. "I really could say I was a butterfly, and nobody'd get mad?"

Raine shook her head and said, "Course not. If they did, I woulda heard about it when I wrote in my gender as delicate¹."

"Huh ... I never heard of somebody sayin' they was a delicate."

"It's kinda new to me too, but when my school therapist told me 'bout it, things kinda clicked, and I realized it fit how I felt."

"Ah," I said as I let my arms drop. "Is that anything like bein' a janegirl?"

My cabin mate chewed on her bottom lip, then said, "Well ... sorta . Delicates kinda tend to be girlish, like janegirls, but we don't usually identify as boys or girls."

My mouth hung open for a moment. "I ... I don't think I ever met somebody who didn't see 'emself as a boy or a girl."

Raine blushed and said, "I know it's kinda weird, but --"

"No! It ain't weird at all." I gave her a big smile, and said, "I think it's kinda neat. It's just somethin' new I'm gettin' to learn about."

Our cabin counselor stood up and said, "If you'd like to learn more about gender stuff, you might wanna try signing up for Mrs Shepherd's class."

"They got classes 'bout gender here at camp?" I asked.

"Oh yeah!" Raine said. The polished floorboards under her feet squeaked when she bounced on her toes. "I took her class last year. She's really nice!"

"Cool! How do I sign up?"

"I can show you how to do that on the camp app," Jessica said as she picked up my suitcase. "But first, why don't we get you unpacked?"

I smiled and nodded before following the older girl to the dresser Raine had been using. Even though I was missing my dad an awful lot, I couldn't help but feel excited about all the things I could do and learn at Janegirl Camp.

¹ Click here if you'd like to learn a little bit more about identifying as a delicate.

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 4
Copyright 2021 by Heather Rose Brown

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Jessica plunked my suitcase on top of the wooden dresser I was going to be sharing with Raine. I clicked open the latches, then lifted the top half of my suitcase. I'm pretty sure my blush was at least as pink as the dress neatly folded on top of the rest of my clothes.

Raine gasped when she came up beside me, then said, "That's sooo cute!"

"You should probably hang your dress up in the wardrobe," Jess said from my other side.

The latches on my suitcase rattled when I slammed it shut. I glanced at the mirror over the dresser, then looked away when I saw how red my face had gotten. Once my racing heart slowed, then slid out of my throat, I said, "Maybe I aughta unpack later."

Raine blinked a few times, then said, "Sorry. I ... I didn't mean to embarrass ya."

I wanted to say she was wrong, but I didn't think I could get away with that, especially with how warm my cheeks felt. Instead, I said, "It's okay. I just ... I ain't used to people, 'cept my dad, seein' me dressed ... like that. I mean, I know everybody here wears dresses, but ..."

Our cabin counselor smiled and said, "Actually, not everybody here wears dresses." She waved a hand from her yellow t-shirt with a dark green logo over her heart, down to the matching green shorts she was wearing, and said, "Just take a look at me."

Even though Jessica looked a lot girlier than I ever could, especially with how ... curvy she was, I couldn't argue about her not wearing a dress. "So," I said, "it's okay for me to be dressed like a boy?"

Jess took a long look at what I was wearing. Her mouth slid to the side, and her forehead wrinkled while she looked, then she smiled again and said, "Absolutely. There's no rush to dress in any particular way. How you want to dress, and when you want to do it, is up to you."

Raine looked down at her dress. Or maybe ... it was *his* dress? I wasn't sure which pronouns delicates used. Anyway, when he -- okay, I'm gonna go with she -- looked at me, her face sorta scrunched up as she asked, "Would ya feel better if I was wearin' somethin' more boyish?"

I tried to think of what my cabin mate could do to look like a boy. Even in a suit and tie, I couldn't imagine her looking like anything except a girl. "Oh no," I said, "you ain't gotta change. If there's anybody who needs to change, it's me."

Our cabin counselor brushed my bangs out of my eyes as she said, "If you'd like to change, that's perfectly fine." She rested her hand on my shoulder when she asked, "Is that something you *want* to do?"

I thought about the dress hiding in my suitcase. Of all the birthday presents Dad had given me last year, it was my favorite. I could hardly wait to put it on when I first saw it. But ... that was around my dad. I shrugged and said, "I ain't sure. I mean, I do, but ..."

Raine's eyes seemed to twinkle when she smiled. "I totally get where you're comin' from. Wanna skip unpackin' for now, and try somethin' else?"

The ache between my shoulder blades faded as I asked, "Like what?"

Jessica let go of my shoulder and said, "Lemme take a look." She dug a phone out of her shorts pocket, tapped the phone's face a few times, then said, "Right now, it looks like the tai chi session by the lake is almost over. Mrs Shepherd's Gender Chat starts in a few minutes, and something called Howdy Doodle is starting then too."

"Oooo," Raine said as she leaned between me and the dresser, then looked at Jess's phone, "Ms Chase hosted Howdy Doodle last year too. It was lotsa fun!"

The back of her head was an inch -- okay, maybe a few inches -- away from my face. Her hair had a clean, flowery scent. My heart nearly stopped when I realized her bare shoulder might touch my chest if I breathed too deep. I took a small step back, waited for my heart to start beating again, then asked, "What was Howdy Doodle like?"

Raine stood back up and said, "Everyone was handed a sketchbook, then we sat across from each other at one of the dining tables in the mess hall. We were given five minutes to sketch the person across from us. After the five minutes was over, everybody signed what they drew, passed the drawing to the person across the table, then took turns scooting over one space."

I sighed and said, "Don't think that's for me."

"Why's that?"

"I just ... ain't so good at drawin'," I answered while trying to not cringe at the half-truth. I wasn't actually all that bad. I'd just gotten teased too much by other kids about the things I liked to draw. Eventually, the only person I ever showed any of my drawing to, had been my dad.

Raine grinned and said, "Me too! But Howdy Doodle ain't so much about how good ya draw, as it is about meetin' other campers."

The muscles between my shoulder blades tightened again when I thought about handing my drawing over to a total stranger. Then I remembered, this was a place Dad had said was supposed to be safe, so I pulled on a brave smile, and said, "I guess I could give that a try."

Jessica frowned and asked, "Is that something you *want* to do?"

My bravery started slipping as I asked, "Won't I hafta do it later, if I skip it today?"

"Of course not," she said as she shook her head. "Everything that happens here at Janegirl Camp is completely optional. Nobody is required to do anything they don't want to do."

My fake smile turned into a sheepish grin. "So ... If I wanna turn my bed into a blanket fort, and hide in there while reading manga all day, they'd lemme do that?"

Our cabin counselor nodded as she said, "If that's what you needed to feel safe and comfortable while at camp, I'd do whatever it took to help you make the most amazing blanket fort ever!"

"Wow ... really?"

Raine grinned and said, "You betcha. Jess is the awesomest cabin counselor ever!"

"I ... I mean," I paused to gather my thoughts, then said, "I never been someplace where ya could do ... anything."

Jessica frowned again, but she also had an impish smirk when she said, "Well ... Chef Ruiz kinda gets grumpy if somebody blows up her kitchen, you might get in trouble if you turn the *whole* lake into a bubble bath, and they don't take kindly to beds being set on fire."

"Speaking of beds," Raine said as she walked over to the bunks nearest us, "wanna get started on that fort?"

I giggled at the thought of really building a blanket fort. Yeah, I giggled. Boys are allowed to giggle. There's no rule against it. At least, I'm pretty sure there ain't. Anyway, when my cabin mate peeled the blanket off the lower bed, I held up a hand and said, "Y'ain't gotta do that."

"Ya sure?" she asked. "I ain't built a fort in a long time, but I used to be pretty good at it."

"I might wanna give it a try later," I said as I took a step closer to our cabin counselor, "but right now, I'm kinda curious about that Gender Chat thing." I leaned down to look at her phone, then asked, "What's it like?"

Jessica held out her phone to me as she said, "You can take a look, if you'd like."

"Thanks!" I said, then started reading what was listed on her phone. She tapped one of the items, and a new window popped up, which said, "Got questions about gender? Not sure which pronouns to use? Do you like chocolate chip cookies? Then join us for Gender Chat, hosted today at 10:00 am by Mrs Simone Shepherd."

I grinned at the question about cookies, then said, "That class sounds kinda fun!"

"Actually, while Mrs Shepherd does teach a few classes about gender, and stuff related to it, Gender Chat is more of a group discussion."

"Ahhh ... well, it still sounds fun."

Raine folded up the blanket she was holding while she said, "Sounds fun to me too!"

"Oh! Ya wanna go again?"

"I ... umm ... kinda fibbed when I said I went to her class last year." Her cheeks turned a dark pink as she said, "I did start going to her class, but I kinda chickened out before I got all the way there. I just ... didn't have the nerve to talk about my gender around other kids."

"Ah ... so ya never got to meet Mrs Shepherd?"

"Actually, I did meet her in private, and talked to her a bit, which really helped me to start figuring myself out." She placed the folded blanket on the lower bunk bed, then said, "But, this year, I think I'm ready talk about gender stuff around other kids."

Our cabin counselor walked over to the younger girl, and gave her a one-armed hug as she said, "I'm really proud of you. I remember how rough things were for you last year." Jessica lowered her head, then asked in a soft voice, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

My cabin mate nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am."

Jess gave Raine another squeeze before letting go, then turned to me and asked, "Do you feel ready to talk about gender stuff?"

While the idea scared me a little ... okay ... a lot, I was also really curious, so I squared my shoulders, and said, "Yeah, I think I am."

Jessica gave me a huge smile, then looked between me and my cabin mate as she said, "I'm so glad to hear that. Mrs Shepherd is super nice, and very chill." Her smile turned into a cheesy grin as she said, "Plus, she makes the best chocolate chip cookies ever!"

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 5
Copyright 2022 by Heather Rose Brown

=-=-=

Jessica led us to a mossy clearing under a huge, gnarly oak tree. Pillows and cushions were arranged in a circle under the dappled shade of the tree. A woman with short, cinnamon hair and wrinkles in the corners of her eyes sat on a cushion at the far end of the circle. Several kids sat on either side of her, and a huge plate of cookies rested on a flat stone in front of her.

Raine tucked her skirt under her butt before sitting on a nearby pillow. The girl next to my cabin mate gave her a hug, then whispered in her ear. When Jess sat on the other side of my cabin mate, the girl stopped whispering, then reached behind Raine and fist-bumped our counselor.

I sat down on the cushion on the other side of Jess, then wiggled my fingers at the lady across the circle from me and said, "Umm ... hi."

The boy sitting on the other side of me held a finger to his lips and said, "Shhh." At least, I thought he was a boy. The top he was wearing was sorta floofy, his fingernails were a bright pink, and there was a ring of pale blue flowers around the top of his -- or maybe her -- head.

I drooped and whispered, "Sorry."

The woman picked up the cookie plate, then smiled at me and said, "That's quite all right." She looked at everyone circled around her, then said, "Since we have a few new faces today, I'll take a moment to explain how Gender Chat works."

She held out the plate and said, "We'll start off passing this plate of cookies around, and whomever is holding it usually gives their name, gender, preferred pronouns, and something they'd like to share about themself, then take a cookie. If you'd rather not say anything, you can still take a cookie before passing the plate onto the next person."

She switched the plate to her other hand and said, "For example, I'm Mrs Simone Shepherd, I identify as female, my preferred pronouns are she and her, and I've been a senior counselor here at Janegirl Camp for a few years."

Everyone clapped after Mrs Shepherd's intro. Figuring this didn't break the no talking rule, I joined in. Once the clapping died down, the plate was passed on to a girl with long blonde hair. Except for the hair length, she was a mirror image of the boy beside me.

The girl grinned and said, "Hi! I'm Casey Hartford, and I identify as a janegirl. I *usually* go by he and him, although I'm okay with she and her too." She -- or he -- poked the kid next to me in the arm and said, "This is the second year me and my sib have been at Janegirl Camp."

I did my best to not stare as I joined in clapping for Casey. I was having a bit of difficulty trying to think of him as anything but a girl. Even the way he nibbled on his cookie before passing the plate seemed girlish.

"I'm Phil Hartford," Casey's sib said while taking the plate, "and I'm a boy, but lately, I've been ... experimenting. While I'm doin' that, I'd like to be called they and them." Phil stared at the plate, then blushed as they said, "And ... ummm ... I like Hello Kitty. Like ... a lot."

Phil's face turned a deeper pink when everyone started clapping, and they shoved a cookie in their mouth before passing the plate to me. I leaned closer to Phil and whispered, "I like her too." A few crumbs fell from the corner of their mouth when they gave me a shy grin.

I looked up at everyone else, and said, "Hi! I'm Ezekiel McGlyph, but while at camp, I'm goin' by Zee. I've always thought of myself as a boy, but I think I might be a janegirl, or somethin' else. He and him work for me. And ... erm ... I like drawin', but I'm a bit shy 'bout sharin' stuff."

My cheeks warmed when people started clapping. I grabbed a cookie to distract myself, and took a bite. It tasted even better than it smelled. The cookie was crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside, and oozing with chocolatey goodness. I completely forgot to pass the plate until Jess nudged my arm.

My cabin counselor winked at me when I passed the cookies to her, then smiled at the rest of the group while saying, "I'm Jessica Reese, and I'm okay with Jess, but not Jessi. I'm a transgirl, and my pronouns are she and her. I've been going to Janegirl Camp for a while, but this is my first time being a counselor."

I was very careful about not letting my mouth hang open when I heard Jessica's gender, and clapped along with everyone else. As the clapping died, our cabin counselor whispered in Raine's ear while handing over the cookie plate.

When Jess stopped whispering, Raine sat up straighter, then said, "My name's Raine Garrison, and my gender is delicate. While I prefer de and der, I know not a lot of people know delicate pronouns, so I'm also okay with she and her. When school starts this fall, I'll be registered as a delicate at St Milton's Middle School."

Raine smiled from ear to when everyone started clapping, and Jessical gave her -- or der(?) -- a quick hug. The camper on the other side of Raine grinned and patted my cabin mate's arm before accepting the plate of cookies being passed over to her.

The last camper in our circle picked up a cookie from the plate, then waved it to everyone while saying, "Hi! I'm Luz Gutiérrez, and I'm genderfae, or just fae. I go by she and her when I'm feeling more like a girl, or they and them when I'm not. Either is okay for me. And ... umm ... I know how to whistle with an acorn cap!"

Luz grinned when everyone clapped, then started munching on -- I'm guessing her -- cookie, before passing the plate to the senior counselor sitting beside her.

Mrs Shepherd smiled as she accepted the plate, then looked around the circle and said, "Now that we know each other a little better, we'll start passing the plate around again. This time, we'll take turns asking questions. Anyone who wants to answer, can raise their hand, and the person holding the plate gets to pick who answers."

She held out the plate to Casey and asked, "Would you like to start us off?"

The janegirl nodded as he accepted the plate, then asked, "Can I ask a specific person a question?" When the senior counselor nodded, Casey gave Jessica a nervous look while asking, "Would ya be okay explain' what a transgirl is?"

Our cabin counselor smiled and nodded as she said, "Sure! Basically, it means I'm a girl who's transgender."

Casey's eyes widened. "Oh! Ummm ... I know I'm only supposed to get one question, so would it be okay if I asked ya more questions later?" When Jess nodded again, the jangirl grinned while passing the cookie plate to her -- I mean his -- sibling.

After accepting the plate, Phil glared at the cookies, then looked up and asked, "Why do people freak out when a boy wears a dress, but not when a girl wears pants?"

Several hands went up, including mine. I was a little surprised when they smiled and pointed at me with the cookie plate.

My heart started thumping like it usually did when I was called on in school. I took a moment to gather my thoughts, then said, "I dunno *lots* about gender, but I've picked up some stuff while doin' searches online with my dad--"

The lump in my throat kept any other words from coming out. Someone patted shoulder. Jess smiled at me when I turned to see who it was. Even though the lump didn't completely go away, the warmth in her eyes helped loosen the tightness in my throat.

Feeling a bit braver, I turned back to Phil, and said, "Ummm ... one of the things we found out, is there used to be a time when people *did* think it was weird for girls to wear pants. When girls started wearin' pants, it got to be less a big deal."

I looked down at my crossed legs, and started playing with one of my laces. "I guess ... maybe ... there's just gotta be more boys willin' to wear dresses, so it's less a big deal?"

A soft, warm hand with bright pink nails rested on top of mine. When I looked up at the hand's owner, they smiled at me, then leaned closer and whispered, "You'd look pretty in a dress," before passing the plate of cookies to me.

I was at a loss for words for what seemed like forever. Except for my dad, nobody had ever said anything about me being pretty. My face warmed again when I thought about the dress waiting for me in my suitcase.

Eventually, I noticed Jessica tapping my elbow. She held a hand out to the plate I was holding, and raised her eyebrows, as if to ask, "Do you want to pass?" She smiled and nodded when I shook my head.

I did my best to gather back together what thoughts I could, then said, "I guess my question is, can I act or dress girly, and still be a boy?"

Everybody's hands went up. Raine grinned when I pointed at der, then said, "You betcha! How ya present and identify can be totally different." I was tempted to ask another question, but it seemed like we only got one per turn, so I filed it away for later, and passed the plate of cookies on to Jessica.

My cabin counselor smiled as she accepted the plate, then took a cookie before passing it on. I was tempted to ask why, but I figured I could ask that question later too, so I turned my attention to Raine.

De fidgeted on der cushion while looking around the circle, then said, "This may be a dumb question, but ... which bathroom do I use?"

Most of the faces I saw were blank or confused. When Mrs Shepherd raised her hand, and Raine nodded to her, the senior counselor asked, "Did you mean here, at Janegirl Camp, or someplace else?"

"Well ..." de said while fidgeting again, "I know I'm allowed to use the girl's room at school, and that there's no gendered bathrooms at camp, but I was more wondering about ... anyplace else I might need to go."

Mrs Shepherd tapper her chin a few times, then said, "The answer depends a lot on where you're at. But, as a general rule of thumb, it's usually best to use the restroom that most closely matches however you're presenting while there."

Raine nodded, and seemed to be deep in thought as she passed the plate to the last camper in the circle. Luz's eyes widened when she received the plate, then looked up to the senior counselor, and said, "I do have a question, but I'm nervous about asking it. Would it be okay if I got skipped?"

The corners of Mrs Shepherd's eyes crinkled when she smiled and said, "Absolutely. One of the rules here, is nobody has to do anything they feel uncomfortable doing. But, if you'd like to ask me, or any of the staff some time later, feel free to do so."

Luz smiled back as she said, "Thank you," before passing on the plate of cookies.

Muffled music started playing when the senior counselor accepted the plate. She reached under her cushion, pulled out a phone and glanced at the screen, then said, "It looks like I'll need to leave a little early today." As she stood, she said, "I'll be hosting Gender Chat tomorrow at the same time, so feel free to come back, if you'd like."

The rest of us started standing up to, and I gave her a friendly wave when she trotted out from under the shady tree. Once Mrs Shepherd was out of sight, I turned to Jess and asked, "What should we do next?"

My cabin counselor brushed a strand of hair over my ear, then asked, "What would you like to do?"

I thought about my suitcase again, then said, "I probably aughta unpack."

She bent down until she was eye to eye with me, and asked, "Do you feel ready to do that?"

"I ... I think I am."

There was a searching look in her eyes, then she asked, "Would it help to hold hands?"

I blinked twice, then said, "You mean ... with me?"

When she nodded, I said, "I think ... maybe ... yeah."

Jess smiled as she stood, then held out her hand. I smiled back when I held hands with her. Even though it wasn't the same as holding hands with Dad, my legs didn't feel quite as wobbly as I'd expected when we started heading back to Dandelion Cabin.

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 6
Copyright 2022 by Heather Rose Brown

=-=-=

My hand swayed in Jessica's when she led me out from the cool shade of the huge oak tree. As we followed the path to Dandelion Cabin, I heard footsteps close behind us. When I glanced over my shoulder, Casey waved, and Phil smiled at me.

The twins walked a little faster until they caught up to us. Phil was still smiling when they bumped shoulders with me, then asked, "So, where ya headed next?"

I played with the hem of my shorts while thinking of what was waiting for me in the cabin, then said, "I just ... ummm ... gotta unpack some stuff."

"Oooo!" Phil squealed. "Ya bring any pretty dresses?"

I'm sure my face was as pink as my shirt and sneakers when I said, "Ermmm ... I guess so."

"Hey!" Casey said while swatting his sib's arm. "Don't be so nosy."

Phil rubbed their arm and said, "I was just askin'."

Casey flipped a few locks of hair over his shoulder, then gave his sibling an intense look. "Ya 'member last year, and how ya felt 'bout wearing girl clothes around others?"

Phil's face paled, then they turned to me and said, "I'm really sorry. With how pretty ya look, I assumed ya was was used to wearin' girl clothes."

"Oh ... ummm ... thanks," I said as my blush spread to my ears. "I *have* been wearin' dresses, and stuff like that, for a while. But ... the only person who's seen me like that is my dad."

Jess gave my hand a quick squeeze, then whispered, "It's okay if you'd like to be alone while putting away your clothes."

I thought about when Dad had called Janegirl Camp a safe place to be myself, then whispered to my cabin counselor, "I think I'll be okay." In a louder voice, I said, "My dad packed my suitcase, so I ain't sure what's in it. I'm okay with ya's seein' what's in there, so long as you promise not to laugh."

Casey's eyebrows rose as he said, "I'd never laugh. Honest."

Phil held out a pinky while saying, "I promise not to laugh either."

It took me a moment before I realized what they were doing. I grinned while linking pinkies with Phil, then looked at both of my new friends, and said, "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

=-=-=

"Oooo ..." Phil said when I pulled my dress out of my suitcase.

"That's so cute!" Casey added.

My heart thumped through the light cotton when I held the dress up to my chest and said, "Thanks. It's pretty special to me."

Jessica smiled and said, "I can imagine."

Phil grinned and said, "I'm *so* stealing it next time y'ain't lookin'."

Casey elbowed his twin in the ribs and said, "I can't believe you already forgot what Mom said about 'borrowing' without asking."

Phil glared at their longer-haired sibling, then said, "I was only kidding!" Their glare turned into a bright smile when they turned to me and asked, "Where'd ya find somethin' so pretty?"

A smile stretched across my face when I thought back to the first time I'd seen my dress.

=-=-=

It had been almost a month ago when my dad pulled into a parking space in front of a small strip-mail store. 'Pretty Princess Boutique' was painted on the store window in big, fancy letters. I took slow breaths in and out when Dad took the keys out of the ignition.

My dad patted my knee, then said, "You gonna be okay, butterfly?"

I nodded as I undid my seatbelt and said, "I think so," before climbing out of the truck. Once Dad got out and locked up, I reached for his hand. He gave me a warm smile when he held hands with me. My knees were only a little wobbly as we walked into the store.

"Hello Zach!" said a tall woman behind the counter when we walked through the door. Even though I knew it was my dad's name, it still felt weird hearing a stranger call him that.

"Hey Steph," Dad said while waving to the stranger. "It's good to see you again!"

"Same here," said the woman as she stepped out from behind the counter.

I looked from one adult to the other, and noticed how similar they seemed. That's when something in my head clicked. "You're Aunt Steph?"

She smiled from ear to ear while nodding, then said, "That I am, sweetie." She crouched down and added, "You must be the pretty butterfly your daddy's been telling me about."

My face warmed when I heard somebody besides Dad use my nickname. I was half tempted to give her a hug, but I wasn't quite ready for that, so I smiled instead, and said, "It's so nice to finally meet ya, Aunt Steph."

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well," my aunt said as she stood up. She waved a hand at the racks of clothes crowded all around us, then said, "Feel free to look around, and let me know if you have any questions."

I looked up at my dad, to make sure it really was all right to look around. Even though he'd bought me some really pretty clothes online, this was the first time we'd been in a store that specialized in girl clothes. He seemed to be reading my mind when he winked and nodded before letting go of my hand.

My feet felt like they were barely touching the ground as I wandered around the store. Everything from tee-shirts and jeans to party dresses were there. I was looking through some of the frillier dresses, when I stopped and gasped.

"What is it?" Aunt Steph asked from behind me. I turned and tried to speak, but I had no words. Instead, I turned back, and pointed to the dress I'd found. It was pink, with tiny white flowers sewn on it. It had a white collar, puffy white sleeves with pink trim, and a big, white bow in the back.

After staring at the dress for a while, I whispered, "This ... this is the dress I want."

=-=-=

Someone nudging my arm brought me back to the present.

One side of Jess's mouth curled up when she said, "You looked like you were remembering something nice."

I nodded and said, "I was just thinkin' about when Daddy--" I gulped when I realized the name that had just come out of my mouth. "I mean ... I was thinkin' 'bout when my dad got me this dress."

Phil tilted their head, then asked, "Why'd ya switch from callin' him Daddy to your dad?"

"Well," I said while looking down at the wooden floorboards under my feet, "I'd been 'membering how me and Dad had gone into my aunt's store to get this dress, and she'd called him my daddy." I looked back up and said, "When I was talkin' 'bout what I'd remembered, it kinda just ... slipped out."

Casey gave me a long, hard look. His expression softened a little when he asked, "Do ya wanna call him your daddy?"

I shrugged and said, "I dunno. I mean, I used to call him that when I was little, but I'm eleven now. Ain't I too old to go back to callin' him Daddy?"

Phil rolled their eyes, then said, "Plenty of girls our age use Daddy instead of Dad."

"Maybe they do," I said, "but ... I'm a boy."

Jessica rested a hand on my shoulder, then said, "While you're here at Janegirl Camp, there's nothing that's just for boys or just for girls." She reached up and brushed my bangs out of my eyes, then said, "There's just what you do or don't want to do, based on what feels right to you."

My chest ached when I thought about my dad. I managed to hold back the tears welling up, but I still sniffled a little when I said, "I think ... maybe ... at least sometimes, I'd like to call him ... Daddy."

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 7
Copyright 2022 by Heather Rose Brown

=-=-=

I hung up my dress with numb fingers while thinking about what I'd called my dad. When I shuffled back to my suitcase, questions started bouncing around my skull.

Why had I called him Daddy? Had it been as much of an accident as it had felt? Did girls my age really called their dads that? Did that make me a girl, or a janegirl, or something else?

I was too distracted by those questions to pay any attention to the clothes Daddy ... I mean Dad had packed for me when I moved them into an empty drawer. I caught a whiff of something light and sweet while shifting clothes around into roughly even piles. I looked to my left, and saw Phil standing a few inches from me.

They glanced back and smiled, then turned to the dresser mirror. After unpinning the ring of flowers from their head, they set the flowers and hairpins on the dresser next to my suitcase. I was in the middle of wondering why my face felt so warm when Phil let out a soft gasp.

After shoving closed the drawer I'd filled with clothes, I turned to my friend and asked, "What's wrong?"

They grinned and pointed to the last item in my suitcase, then said, "You got Hello Kitty!"

All my worries flitted away when I saw what Phil was pointing to. I pulled her out of the suitcase and held her close. Even though I was probably only imagining it, I could almost smell my mom's perfume on her. In a quiet voice, I said, "I call her Kitty McGlyph."

Casey smiled and said, "She's pretty lucky to have someone as nice as you adopt her."

I smiled back, then said, "I feel lucky to have her. She's been with me through ... just ... a lot."

From somewhere close behind, Jessica asked, "Would you like to bring her with you?"

I froze, barely breathing, when I realized a teenager had seen me hugging a stuffie. I waited for my lungs to start working again, then said, "I ... uhhh ... prolly aughta leave her here."

While I was searching for a safe place to hide Kitty, Jess walked from behind me, then rested a hand on my shoulder. "If you'd like to leave Kitty in our cabin, that's perfectly fine. But there's also nothing wrong with bringing her with you, if you'd like."

I chewed on a thumbnail while thinking, then said, "I dunno. Wouldn't the other kids laugh?"

Casey shook his head and said, "I don't think so." He played with the bottom of his camp t-shirt for a moment, then said, "Well ... not without gettin' in trouble with the staff here."

"They def wouldn't laugh at Doll Drama Improv," Phil said.

My forehead wrinkled when I asked, "What's that?"

Jess pulled out her phone, tapped its face a few times, then scanned down the screen as she said, "Doll Drama Improv is an opportunity for campers to work through experiences they've had, or might have, and find positive solutions to difficult issues."

"Wow," I said, "that sounds like it could be ... kinda ... scary."

Casey twirled a strand of his pretty blonde hair around a finger. "I guess ..." he said, then paused. He had a faraway look in his eyes when he started speaking again. "Depending on the experience you're workin' through, it could be a bit ... rough." His voice broke on the last word, and his face crumpled.

Phil looked at their brother for a moment, then pulled him close and hugged tight. Jessica lowered her phone, then stroked the back of Casey's head. Even though he hadn't made a sound, Casey's shoulders shuddered a few times.

I rested my chin on Kitty's fuzzy head while guilt washed over me. Eventually, I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize askin' 'bout that activity woulda brought up bad memories."

Casey's eyes were damp when he lifted his head from his sib's shoulder. He gave me a brittle smile, then said, "It's okay. Ya couldn't have known."

Our cabin counselor tugged at my hand when I started gnawing on my thumbnail again. She smiled when I looked up at her, then said, "You'll ruin your pretty nails if you keep doing that."

I looked down and spread out my fingers while still managing to hold onto Kitty. Had Jess seen the clear polish on my nails? And what if she did? Boys wear nail polish. At least, some boys do. Sometimes. Don't they?

With all those thoughts and questions buzzing around my head, I looked up again and asked, "Is it really okay to be pretty?"

Jessica gave me a sharp nod and said, "Of course it is."

"Even though I'm a boy?"

Before Jess could answer, Casey rested a hand on my arm and said, "I'm a boy."

I looked at my longer-haired friend and said, "But ... I thought ya said you're a janegirl."

My friend grinned through his tears and said, "I am. Bein' a boy is part of bein' a janegirl."

"Ah," I said while mulling that idea over. "Well, I ain't 'zactly sure what I am, 'cept for a boy who's ... different."

Phill let go of their brother, then rested a hand with shiny pink nails on my other arm. "I think I kinda see where you're comin' from. I'm tryin' to figure stuff out too. It's why I switched pronouns."

"Huh," I said. "Maybe I aughta switch to they/them too."

Our counselor held up her phone again and said, "If you'd like, I could update your profile."

"Oh ... umm ... I guess so."

Jess looked over her phone at me, then said, "Why don't we put a pin in that, and take a look at what's coming up on today's schedule?"

Casey let go of my arm, then wiped at his cheeks while asking, "What's up next?"

Phil let go of my other arm, then stood on their tiptoes, and looked at our cabin counselor's phone. "It looks like Ms Dutch has a creative writin' class comin' up, and Madam Chen's teachin' ballet basics. Oh! Miss Stetson's hostin' a crafting activity in a few minutes!"

Some of the pain left Casey's eyes, and his smiled warmed when he stood on his toes and looked at Jessica's phone. "Oh yeah! It looks like she's teachin' how to make friendship barrettes today."

"Don't think I ever heard of friendship barrettes," I said.

Our cabin counselor gave me a lopsided smile. "I'm guessing it's like friendship bracelets, but ... barrettes." She looked from me to my friends, then said, "Would any of you like to give it a try?"

Casey smiled and nodded while his sib said, "Oh yeah! Sounds like fun."

When I nodded as well, Jess grinned and said, "It looks like the vote for friendship barrettes is unanimous!"

While our cabin counselor headed for the door, I laid Kitty down on the nearest bunkbed, checked to make sure nobody was looking, then kissed her forehead before running to catch up with everyone.

=-=-=

The chatter of what sounded like hundreds of kids filled the hall of the activity center when our counselor opened the door to room number four. I peeked through the doorway, and counted maybe a dozen heads. While it could have been worse, that was still a dozen new kids who'd see me looking like ... well ... me.

Even though my t-shirt was plain, it was also my favorite color ... pink. My sneakers were pink too, and the glittery laces on them were probably not what most boys would use. Although my blue denim shorts didn't look especially girly, they *had* been bought at my aunt's store, which specialized in girl clothes.

I was starting to wonder if I should have worn something to camp that was more definitely boyish, when Jess, Casey, and Phil walked into the noisy room. I took a deep breath, then followed behind them.

A familiar woman with reddish brown hair waved at us and said, "Hello!" when we entered.

While fighting a bout of shyness, I gave her friendly wave, then looked at all the unfamiliar faces surrounding me. My stomach flip-flopped when I realized there may have been a lot more than a dozen kids sitting at the round wooden tables spread around the room.

Jessica ran up to the woman hosting today's crafting activity, then gave her a big hug and said, "It's so good to see you again, Miss Stetson."

"It's good to see you too," the woman said while hugging back. When she let go, she turned to the twins and said, "Welcome back, Phil and Casey."

Phil grinned, then said, "Thank you!"

Casey frowned while looking around the room, then asked, "Will ya be able to fit us in?"

The activity host nodded and said, "Of course!" She looked from my friends to me, and said, "There's room for you too, Zee."

I raised an eyebrow and asked, "How'd ya know my name?"

Her eyes sparkled when she said, "That's the name you gave me when you signed in earlier this morning."

I smiled when I realized why she looked familiar, then said, "Oh! It's so nice seein' ya again."

Miss Stetson smiled back and said, "The feeling's mutual." She nodded towards an empty table, then said, "The four of you could sit there, if you'd like."

Jessica's shoulders slumped when she said, "I wish I could, but I got a counselor meeting I gotta go to." She looked from me to my friends and said, "Sorry ..."

"Don't worry," Phil said.

Casey nodded and said, "We'll be fine."

Even though it felt like the ground had dropped out from under me when I realized Jess was leaving, I said, "Yeah, we'll be okay."

Our cabin director gave me a questioning look, then turned to the twins and said, "Could you two watch out for Zee while I'm gone?"

Phil draped an arm across my shoulders and said, "Of course!"

Casey patted Jessica's arm and said, "Don't worry. He's in good hands."

While I still felt nervous about Jess leaving, knowing Phil and Casey were there helped me feel a little less anxious. When our cabin counselor looked at me again, it didn't feel as much of a lie when I said, "Don't worry. I'll be okay."

Janegirl Camp
Chapter 8
Copyright 2022 by Heather Rose Brown

=-=-=

I flopped into a chair at the last empty table in activity room four. My shaking knees thanked me, but my butt complained about the hard, plastic seat it landed in. I took a quick look at the kids sitting nearby. So far, nobody seemed to be staring at my sorta-girlish-but-not-really clothes.

Phil stood beside me, leaned towards the cardboard box and ceramic bowls in the middle of the table, then said, "Oooo ... these look pretty!"

After silently apologizing to my butt, I looked up at Phil and asked, "Whatcha find?"

My friend hummed while digging through both of the bowls, then sat beside me and said, "Take a look." Shiny buttons and sparkling beads clattered and bounced when Phil poured a tiny treasure pile onto the table.

Casey giggled while sitting on the other side of his sibling, then asked, "Ya got any idea what those are gonna be used for?"

Phil shrugged and said, "Not really, but I'm sure Miss Stetson gots somethin' fun planned."

Casey smiled at his twin, then said, "That's for sure! She's always comin' up with neat ideas."

"You've done activities with her before?" I asked my friends.

"Oh yeah," Phil said while nodding. "All the stuff we made with her last year was lotsa fun, and her instructions were pretty easy."

I turned from my friends to the sheet in front of me, then groaned when I started reading.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked.

I sighed, then said, "It looks like we gotta know how to do braiding." I thought of how pretty my hair always looked when Daddy ... Dad braided it for me, and the mess I made when I tried doing it myself.

I rested my forehead on the instruction sheet and groaned again, then said, "I'm seriously awful at braiding."

"Don't worry," Phil whispered, tickling my ear with their warm breath. "I've braided Casey's hair lotsa times. I can help ya, if you'd like."

Feeling a little more hopeful, I lifted my head, and and smiled at my friend. I was about to thank them for the offer, when somebody tapped my shoulder. After turning my head nearly halfway around, a skinny girl with long, silvery-blonde hair gave me a bright smile.

The smile didn't match the deep sadness in her pale blue eyes when she said, "Be careful 'round him."

"Be careful 'round who?" Phil asked.

The look in her eyes darkened when she turned to them and said, "I can't believe you're flirtin' with another girl already."

Phil gave her a blank look, then asked, "Whatcha talkin' about, Xana?"

The girl propped her fists on her hips and said, "You know *exactly* what I'm talkin' about."

Casey glared at Xana and said, "Wouldja give up on them already?"

Xana's brows rose when she looked at Casey and asked, "Them who?"

Phil frowned while drumming their pink fingernails on the table. A determined look grew in their steel blue eyes, but they still sounded nervous when they said, "I'm them." They folded their hands in their lap, then added, "I ... ummm ... changed pronouns."

The girl glanced at Phil's hands, studied their kinda-sorta floofy top for a moment, then looked at my friend's face again and asked, "Ya mean ... ya stopped bein' a boy?"

"I'm still a boy ... sorta," they said, then added in a quieter voice, "but I'm ... experimenting."

"I shoulda guessed," Xana said while rolling her eyes.

"Shoulda guessed what?" I asked.

The girl tilted her head towards Phil while saying, "She said she wasn't interested in me last year, 'cause she's a girl."

I pushed down the anger that flared up when I heard one of my friends being misgendered. My chair scraped across the formica tiled floor when I stood. Some of the chatter around us faded when I looked Xana square in the eye and said, "Experimentin' don't make somebody a girl."

Xana snorted, then said, "Just 'cause ya wanna be her girlfriend don't mean ya know everything about her."

Anger, confusion, and embarrassment bubbled up from somewhere deep inside, turning my stomach cold, and my face warm. I shoved her shoulder and said, "Take it back!" although I wasn't sure which part I wanted her to take back.

"Hey!" Xana said. "Don't gimme your lezzie germs," she added while shoving me in the chest with both hands.

The rest of the room grew quiet when I said, "I ain't no lezzie, you ... you lezzie!"

She grabbed a handful of my hair and said with growl in her voice, "You take that back."

"OUCH!" I shouted when she gave my hair a sharp yank. I dug my fingers into the thick, silky hair on the side of her head, and said, "You take whatcha said back first!"

"Xanadu Drake," said a firm, adult voice. "Ezekiel McGlyph," the voice added.

I tried turning my head when I heard my name. The dull ache on the side of scalp grew when I did that. I turned my eyes instead, and saw Miss Stetson looking between me and the girl holding onto my hair.

The activity host shook her head, then said, "What's gotten into you two?"

Xana pulled at my hair and said, "She started it!"

I yelped, then said, "Nuh uh!" while tugging at her hair. I only felt a little guilty when she winced.

Miss Stetson wrapped her fingers around my wrist, then did the same thing to Xana, before saying, "First, I want you both to let go of each other."

"But--" Xana said.

"No buts," the adult cut in with a hint of anger in her voice.

When the grip on my hair loosened, I opened my fist, and wriggled my fingers free.

"That's better," Miss Stetson said while letting go of our wrists. "Next, I'd like you to follow me."

"Where we goin'?" I asked while letting my hand drop to my side.

The activity host looked from me to the girl I'd been arguing with, let out a very long sigh, then said, "I think this is something that needs to be brought to Ms Robert's attention."

=-=-=

Except for the hum of the air conditioner in the window behind Ms Roberts desk, her office was quiet. Well ... there was the thumping of my heart in my ears, but I wasn't sure if that counted. I glanced over at Xana, and decided she looked as uncomfortable in her tall, wooden chair as I felt in mine.

The crisp sound of papers being shuffled brought my attention back to the woman sitting at the desk in front of us. After studying the top sheet for a few moments, Ms Roberts set the pages down in a neat pile, and closed her eyes.

"I'm very disappointed with both of you," she said while massaging the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. Cold sweat trickled down my back when she looked at me and asked, "Did you start the fight?"

"Well ..." I said while trying to figure out how to be honest without getting myself in trouble.

"She pushed me first," my new arch nemesis said while pointing a trembling finger at me.

The camp director looked at her notes and said, "According to an update submitted by Mrs Shepherd, Zee's pronouns are he and him." She looked up at the girl beside me and asked, "Had you been asked to use different pronouns?"

Xana shook her head and said, "Well ... no, but it's obvious--"

Ms Roberts held up a hand, stifling the the rest of what my nemesis was about to say.

The directer pressed her lips into a thin line. After a short pause, she said, "Miss Drake, I realize how someone presents can lead to assumptions which may seem obvious. But, now that you know your fellow camper's pronouns, is there something you'd like to say to him?"

"But ... the way she, I mean he ... I mean ..." Xana bit her bottom lip, then turned to me and said, "I'm ... I'm sorry for assuming you're a girl. It's just ... the way ya look, and act, and--" She stopped when Ms Roberts cleared her throat.

My maybe ex-nemesis looked down at her bare knees, then started fiddling with the lacy hem of her dress. "I guess I got more to learn about gender stuff than I thought." She made a sound that might have been a sniffle, then looked up at me and said, "I'm just sorry for .. everything."

"Very good," Ms Roberts said in a stern, yet gentle voice. "Would you like to expand on what's included in 'everything'?"

My probably-almost-definitely-not nemesis turned to the camp director and said, "Well, I did pull her ... I mean his hair first. And ... umm ... I also called him a ... well, somethin' kinda rude."

Ms Roberts nodded, then turned to me with a no-nonsense look in her grey eyes, and asked, "Is there something you'd like to say?"

I turned to the girl beside me, gulped down a huge lump of regret, then said, "I'm sorry for losin' my temper, and shovin' ya first, and callin' ya ... that ... rude word."

"Thank you both," Ms Roberts said as she slipped the stack of papers into a folder, "Since this is a first offense for both of you, I think helping clean up after lunch would be appropriate."

Xana opened her mouth, then closed it again when the director arched a thin brow at her. I kept my mouth closed when Ms Roberts gaze shifted over to me.

After glancing from me to Xana, the woman sitting in front of us pressed one of the buttons on some electronic looking thing in the corner of her desk, and said, "Please send in the counselors for both Dandelion Cabin and Foxglove Cabin."

=-=-=

The the bells hanging over the entrance to the admin building clanged and jingled when the door closed behind me. I held up a hand to shade my eyes from the late morning sun, then trudged down the sandy path behind Jessica.

My cabin counselor stopped, looked over her shoulder, then gave me a worried look when she asked, "Everything go okay in there?"

I took a few more steps until I was standing in front of her, then did a one-armed shrug while saying, "I dunno."

Jess tilted her head while looking at me, then held out a hand towards one of the larger pine trees lining the path, and said, "Wanna sit and talk?"

While I wasn't sure about talking, my legs weren't feeling especially steady, so I nodded and said, "Sure."

My counselor grinned, then ducked under some low branches, and sat down. The thick layer of needles under the tree were both soft and prickly when I sat next to her. I took a deep breath of cool, pine-scented air, then said, "I hope Daddy ... I mean Dad ... don't get mad at me."

Jessica picked up a rusty-brown pine needle, then said, "I know I only met him once, but I'm pretty good at getting a feel for people." She twirled the needle between her fingers while saying, "I suspect he may not get as upset as you might imagine."

She flicked the needle into the air, then gave me a gentle smile. "I also have a feeling he wouldn't mind ya calling him Daddy."

The friendship barrettes mentioned in the previous chapter, and almost made in this chapter, were inspired by braided barrettes I used to wish I could wear. A link on how to make those barrettes can be found at the *80s Style Ribbon Braided Barrette Tutorial page on the Wee Folk Art website.

With all the great feedback I received on my Janegirl Camp related blogs, I wanted to make sure I didn't lose any of them, so I'm going to be linking them here. Mostly, I'm doing this for my own reference, but I imagine others might be interested in the blogs related to this story as well. If you're wondering where I got the term "janegirl" I actually found it in a blog post by Erin Fletcher titled, "Father cut's sons hair, Mother is livid" on Mon, 2021/07/26.