This is a direct continuation to What It Takes To Survive. If you haven't, please read that story first!

=^_^=

"... And that's the weather you can expect today. Now back to Alan in the studio who has updates on the story that has gripped our nation and the world"

I didn't remember when the radio had come on. Maybe it was back when the car did. I hadn't been listening then due to Mikey making small talk but it now had my attention.

"Thank you Lisa. News out of the Capital this morning is that our government has been aware of the island for quite some time now. It had originally been chosen as the site for an as of yet undisclosed project which had to be cut short and moved due to unforeseen challenges the crew experienced on the island. We're told there had been multiple casualties"

I wondered whether Mikey was listening too but he didn't show it.

"It is currently unclear what had caused those casualties and information about the island's true nature is still being guarded very tightly but as always we'll relay the information as we get it"

It felt strange knowing government secrets. I felt like I was in a movie. And of course people had asked. Lots of people had asked. But I'd only told them the lie that the government agents had told us to say. "We actually hadn't experience anything extraordinary. We had all been under a lot of stress"

"You think the government is going to silence us?" I joked

He laughed "we've got snipers trained on us as we speak".

He looked good in the driver's seat. It was hot. I must have been staring because he asked if everything was alright.

I shook myself out of it and nodded.

=^_^=

The drive to school was only a few minutes and soon, he was making a final turn into school premises and heading for the parking area.

The main building was a ancient structure first built in the early 20th century but had been remodeled too many times for you to tell. The entire property was massive and featured a separate gym building, not quite standard soccer field and a full size 120 yard football field. Like many schools in our region, football was THE sport although our soccer team was technically more successful. Most would argue soccer had weaker competition and so less interest. I'd argue the opposite and say it had less interest and so weaker competition.

Didn't matter, we were all looking forward to dominating in our final year.

When he'd found a spot and parked, I waited for him to do what he'd insisted on doing many times the summer before. He went around and opened and held the door open for me.

I'd resisted the first time he'd tried that but he wouldn't hear it.

"Dad said to always be a proper gentleman when with a lady" he'd said.

I took his hand and he guided me out the door. It was already a very cold morning. Colder than it should be this time of year. It made me think about how lucky we were to be stranded in the heat of summer. With how poorly geared we were, the cold could have been a real problem.

He never let go of my hand as we walked towards the main block.

=^_^=

We got a lot of stares with each group of kids that we passed and it made me really self conscious.

I thought back to what Mikey had said to me in my bizarre island dream, "you care too much what people think".

Maybe dream Mikey was right. I clutched his hand tighter and looked over at him. He seemed calm. Not bothered one bit.

"Well maybe you don't care enough" I'd replied. Maybe dream me was right too.

As we got through the main doors, the stares only increased. Everyone in the halls as far as the eye could see was looking at us and whispering.

Were they staring because we were the famous island survivors? Were they staring because I had come out as transgender and was now a girl? Were they staring because Mikey and I were now a couple?

Do they think we all went crazy on that island like the rumours suggested? Who knows, maybe we did.

I looked over at Mikey, he still didn't care.

=^_^=

As time got closer to 7:30, we'd all funnelled into the auditorium like we did every Monday morning. The only thing different however was that we headed for the rows of seats reserved for seniors where I finally found familiar faces.

Doug was dead center of the row as usual and was chatting away loudly with a group. I'm sure he was telling some made-up story about how he saved everyone. Savannah clung tightly to him as she usually did. I unconsciously rolled my eyes. Mick, Clinton, Clarissa and Lindsey were there too.

I liked Clarissa and Lindsey. We barely talked but they'd always been nice to me.

Doug acknowledged our presence with a nod before continuing his conversation.

Gabe, Tate and Ollie sat together with another group. They looked to be having a good time.

Ben and Tommy sat in the back. It had been nearly two months but they still showed signs, physical and otherwise of what we-- of what they went through. We could only guess because they definitely never talked about it.

Chloe waved ecstatically at me and pointed to two empty seats beside her which we took. Chloe and I had gotten close over the summer. We'd lived near eachother a long time and our families knew eachother but she was the shy quiet type and so was I so we'd never really talked much.

"I knew he was your 'ride'!" She gave me a knowing look.

Her mum usually dropped her off at school and she had asked me to join them but I told her I already had a ride.

I shrugged.

"You look pretty by the way" she said "love the skirt" she added smiling.

"Of course you do. You picked it out!"

"Did I?" She joked "no wonder it looks so good on you"

She wasn't shy or quiet around me anymore.

"Hey, Mikeey" she stressed his name as she turned her attention to him.

"Yes, Chloee" he stressed hers trying and failing to match her energy. They'd gotten close too.

"Come on bro, hook me up! I'm so horny" her voice dragged.

"Chloe!" I yelled incredulously

"What?? Don't be greedy, Jo. You've got that fine piece of ass, let a girl get some too, you know what I'm saying?"

I couldn't believe her.

"Oh my God, you're impossible" I replied simply.

"Attention" we were interrupted the enhanced voice over microphone followed by a piercing feedback.

The entire student body groaned.

"Can I have your attention?" The voice echoed throughout the auditorium.

Slowly but surely, all conversations died down.

"Thank you" the voice belonged to Principal Felicity David. I didn't really know how old she was but she looked to be around 40. She was usually calm and kind but also very no nonsense. I didn't mind her as a principal and I'd never gotten into trouble with her.

"I'd like to welcome you all back after the long holiday. I know we as a community had a very eventful summer and at times, it was easy to lose hope but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, while we're sad over the lives lost, we can remain thankful because it could have been much worse"

"We want to remember the life of Mr. Ken Baldwin. Ken was a dear friend and a valued member of our staff and his loss will be felt for a long time to come. Ken's heroic actions cost his life but he saved the lives of 8 students and another staff"

"We'd like to recognise 18 of our very own who not only survived a fatal crash, but the unimaginable moments up till rescue. For 9 of them, rescue wouldn't happen until a month later. As I call your name, please make your way to the stage."

The names blended together and I only listened for my own name. I was tired of the attention. I got messages everywhere from people I didn't know. I got fan-mail. I had thousands of followers on Twitter and I could barely even remember the password. I hated people camping outside my house trying to get a picture.

I was glad that the frenzy had finally died down. When I'd just first come out to my family and close friends, it had somehow gotten to the news and with everything else going on, I couldn't go anywhere for a week.

I was snapped back into reality when Chloe poked me in the rib. I realised they'd called my name multiple times so I got up and headed for the stage. Mikey was next and followed closely behind me.

I was glad when it was over and the assembly moved on to other things. They eventually talked about how the school had a zero tolerance policy towards bullying and all students no matter how different, were to be treated with respect. I'm sure they were talking about me.

After assembly, we had homeroom which lasted 30 minutes before classes began at 8:30

=^_^=

First period of the day was English which was fine by me. The excitement I felt early this morning had long since died and I'd fallen back into the old habit of zoning out during classes especially easy ones like English and doing just the bare minimum.

Really, it was worse than usual. This felt very dull and mundane. I couldn't get myself to focus on what the teacher was saying. How could I find any of this interesting after all we'd gone through. Mikey made it bearable but I'd felt this way since getting home.

"Miss Fahey, are you with us?" Mrs Dorsey our English teacher had to yell to get my attention. I had zoned out again. "Actually, your experience may offer some unique perspective and insight to one of the books on last years reading list. What is your main takeaway from Lord of the Flies?"

She genuinely seemed interested in my response so I tried to give it some thought. I'd read the book last year because we were required to but I ended up actually enjoying it. Our experience did offer unique perspective.

"Uh.. don't put teenage boys on an island?" My answer was phrased more like a question because I was drawing a blank on anything meaningful.

The class laughed. Mrs Dorsey did too. "Anything else come to mind?"

I thought hard "--Adult presence, rationale and impulse control are necessary for a civilization to not, you know, implode"

She seemed to accept my point "Does that stance hold based on your own experience?" She asked "would your own little civilization have 'imploded' without the presence of an adult?"

I then realised I'd been selling coach short. Not any adult could have done what he did and got us through and out alive. In fact, if it had been anybody else with us, I'd probably still be on that dumb rock out in the ocean. Most likely dead.

I nodded.

"Excellent input Joanna" Mrs Dorsey seemed satisfied "Let's proceed".

=^_^=

Sometime during the next period, History, I'd needed to pee and asked to be excused.

I walked the halls slowly on my way to the bathroom. Even though I usually liked history, I was in no hurry to get back to class.

Eventually reaching the bathroom area, I went in the ladies like I'd done throughout summer when out with Gaby, Chloe or Mikey.

I headed straight for the mirrors. I actually looked great, way better than I felt. It may have just been my imagination but I felt I looked different already.

I'd been on HRT for 22 days already. I probably didn't look a lot different but I felt like a different person. The mood swings weren't great like today for example but a necessary evil. The highs were high and the lows were low. But there definitely were highs especially when I was with Mikey.

I always smiled when I thought about it. About him.

The click and creaking of the door as it opened pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned and saw the janitor lady who I thought gave me a weird look but it might have just been in my head.

I quickly washed my hand, then hurried awkwardly passed her and out the door. It dawned on me that I never did pee.

=^_^=

I hadn't been back in class 15 minutes when there was a knock on the door and Principal David was asking to see me for a moment.

She offered me a seat when we got to her office and she began as soon as I was seated. Classic Principal David. No time to waste.

"How are you, Joanna?" She asked me.

"Fine" I answered awkwardly. I thought about how I had only been in her office the one time and forgot what it looked like. Or maybe she redecorated.

"I know you have to get back to the French Revolution so I'll make this quick. It has come to my attention that you're using the girl's bathroom"

She paused but I sensed it wasn't yet my turn to speak so I didn't say anything.

"Now I know it's a special situation and we understand you can't use the boy's bathroom as you are and you certainly can't use the girl's bathroom--"

She flipped through some notes on her desk but I suspected it was only for show.

"--so we've decided that you are to use the Staff bathroom on each floor until special provisions can be made. Is that clear?"

I don't think she was looking for an answer but I gave her one anyway "why can't I use the girl's bathroom?"

"--Because not all students would be comfortable sharing the bathroom with you sweetie, and at this school this school, we make sure to take into account the feelings of ALL our students"

That sounded rehearsed.

"Did someone say they weren't comfortable sharing the bathroom with me?" I asked.

"The students of this school are too polite to bring up complaints such as that but we must protect them nonetheless. And there are parents-- this administration believes this to be the right decision. You may return to class"

In my head I let her have it, but in reality, I simply said "Yes ma'am".

=^_^=

Jo is back home but she'll find that things are a lot more complicated than she left it. I hope you enjoy WITTS Senior Year. Leave your comments below and let me know what you think. Leave a kudo if you're enjoying this new story so far.

A few moments after I was seated in history again, Chloe, who sat to my right reached over and tapped me when the teacher wasn't looking.

"What did Felicity want?" She asked me in a hushed voice.

I leaned over "apparently I can't use the girl's bathroom. I have to use the staff's" I responded.

"What?!" She exclaimed louder than I'd have liked. The entire class turned to us including the teacher who looked annoyed.

"Sorry" Chloe apologised shyly.

After that, Chloe didn't say another word about it until the period ended. It looked like she had been fuming the entire time.

=^_^=

Eventually the bell did ring and as soon as the teacher left, everyone else packed up to leave too.

If I knew Chloe, she was going to explode in my face any minute but instead, she ran to the front of the class.

"Could all the girls please stay back please?" She asked in a raised voice making sure everyone could hear her over the noise of tables and chairs shifting. "It won't take long" she promised.

Oh no. What the hell was she up to?

The boys were now taking their time so Clarissa clapped loudly as she walked up to the front of the class.

"Leave, assholes" she basically commanded.

As they finally began to make their way out the door, she followed and closed it behind them. I admired her so much.

"Now what's up?" She turned and asked Chloe.

"So 'Felicity' told Jo that she couldn't use the girl's bathroom. She has to use the 'Staffs'" she stressed her words in a way that showed disgust

I raised my arm and waiting for her to stop speaking so I didn't interrupt.

"It's fine" I tried to assure them "I don't really mind, it's whatever"

"No fuck that" Clarissa chimed in "that's discrimination"

"I just- I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable" I replied, I was trying to blend in. I didn't want anyone making a fuss about me anymore. I'd had enough of that throughout summer.

"Who are you making uncomfortable?" she asked and continued without waiting for an answer I didn't have anyway "is anyone here uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with Joanna"?

Most of the girls just shook their heads.

"And some parents might not be okay with it" I retorted.

Chloe walked up to me and said "Jo, it's not right. You're a girl and they're basically saying you're not and I'm not okay with that." She turned to the other girls "we should write a petition to the school".

"Sure I'll fucking sign in" Clarissa agreed "we all support Joanna, right girls?"

Everyone seemed to agree. Why wasn't I thrilled?

=^_^=

The next two classes went by quickly without too much issue and soon the lunch bell went. I'd already heard a few people talking about the bathroom issue which wasn't great.

This school loved gossip and I hated being at the center of it. I remember back in 9th grade, someone had spread a rumor that I was actually a girl masquerading as a boy. The entire school believed it and some assholes even tried to get proof. In hindsight, they weren't wrong.

Chloe and I were one of the first to get to the lunch room. We didn't want to deal with the long line that usually formed so we hurried to get a tray and food and then pick one of the many still empty tables.

I half ate and half watched the door for Mikey. Chloe noticed this and not one to leave a good comment unmade, "oh to be so crazy in love" she mocked

"Shut up" I laughed.

"Girl, I can't wait to be your maid of honour. I'm gonna turn it up" she joked while taking a big bite.

"First of all, gross" I made a comically disgusted face at her talking while chewing, "and we're not going to get married"

"Why not? I can honestly say I've never met two people so disgustingly in love"

I blushed. "We're literally still in high school. And--"

I paused. I hated that I felt like this even when I knew there wasn't any evidence of it.

"What if he decides that he wants a normal girl"

She frowned "you're a normal girl, Jo. It seems everyone else knows that but you."

"Other couples have sex" I told her, "I just wish I wasn't so different. You're lucky. You don't have to deal with this shit."

She reached across the table and took my hand "You know he loves you right? If my parents loved eachother half as much as you both do, they'd still be together. I've never felt anything like that either. I'm weird so I don't know if I ever will" she laughed.

"You think I'm lucky?" she asked. "I think you're so lucky. I'd give anything to have a boy I like look at me the way Mikey looks at you" she pressed my fingers in hers "I hate to see you sabotaging your own happiness"

I was difficult to respond to that. I couldn't.

She must have noticed because she immediately changed the subject

"I get that it sucks you can't have sex with him the regular way but there's literally other ways. Tighter ways" she smirked

"I don't want to talk about this" I covered my face with both palms.

She laughed "I could tell you all about it if you want" She was enjoying herself.

"Stop" I groaned.

The cafeteria had gotten louder and louder as more people walked in and eventually we couldn't make out what we were saying without shouting so I was happy when she decided we'd talk about it another time.

I spotted Mikey walk into the cafeteria and made a little wave. He waved back and pointed to the lunch line. I nodded.

=^_^=

Soon he had gotten a tray of food and taken a place by my side on the table. Two kids, Nigel and Peter, who I recognised from a few of my classes had taken seats across and towards the end of the table.

"Hey babe" Mikey said casually.

"Hi" I smiled up at him.

"Hey, Chloe" he turned to her.

"Hey" she replied.

Turning back to me, "so I heard what happened with Mrs David"

I hated this school.

"Yeah" I replied "it's not a big deal"

"Hmm" was his only response.

=^_^=

We had all settled in for a quiet lunch so it took me by surprise when Doug slid in with his tray.

"'Sup Harris. 'Joanna'"

Why did he say my name like that?

He looked hard at Chloe before she decided to help him out.

"It's Courtney"

"Of course, Courtney. I knew that" he replied before turning to the two other boys at the table. "Scram" and just like that, they picked up their trays and left. That was me in 9th grade.

"Hey guys, over here" Doug shouted to a different packed table and literally everyone picked up their trays and came over.

I scanned all the faces that were coming over and quickly became self-conscious. I noticed Mick, Clinton, Clarissa and Lindsey right away. It still freaked me out how accurately portrayed they'd been in the dream. The dream had been so vivid that it felt more like a memory now. I wondered whether they'd remember the time we met at the mall and watched a movie if I asked them.

I recognised Ronnie right away too who was really well known around. They were pretty loaded. His dad owned the metalwork factory in town and also a construction company. Apparently his house was massive but I'd never been anywhere near it. I also heard the football team held parties there pretty regularly since his parents were almost never around.

I'd seen most of the others around school although we'd never talked. They were mostly on the football team and cheerleaders.

Soon everyone had taken up new spots around the table, Mick was the first one to speak.

"What are we doing here with these losers, Doug?"

"Yo chill, these are my people" Doug replied laughing "right Mikey?" He tapped Mikey on the shoulder "we're tight. We went through some crazy shit"

The group groaned.

"We know cause you won't stop talking about it" Ronnie laughed. He was really good looking. He had that storybook prince charming look about him.

"Yeah, cause it was insane" Doug defended "Mikey here got stabbed. Jo was strangled and nearly drowned. Crazy shit"

He'd gotten their attention again because they were listening.

"Wait, by Ben?" Lindsey asked.

"Fuck yeah, I'd never seen so much fucking blood. We had to find a way stop the bleeding"

Sure. We.

"Go on" Doug tapped Mikey again "Show them".

Mikey looked uncomfortable so I took his hand and told him he didn't have to.

He said it was fine before raising the sweater and t-shirt he had underneath. I caught my first glimpse of the scar on his right side that I only now noticed was dangerously close to his ribs.

I hadn't seen it before today. It made me want to cry. All the feelings I thought I had bottled away of the island kept flooding back in. He could have died. I could have died.

"Why would Ben do such a thing?" Clarissa asked.

"It wasn't his fault actually" Doug said "there was something on the island fucking with all of us. We were seeing shit and acting weird as fuck. Ben was really fucked up"

"He still looks fucked up" Mick added "Y'all see him walking around like he's on something, right?"

The words echoed in the background but I was only vaguely aware of the conversation around me.

I remembered Mikey's face that night in the moments just after he'd been stabbed and while we tried to stop the bleeding.

"If you ask me, every one of them is a little fucked up in the head now and all I'm saying is--" Mick laughed to himself "we should know if there's a chance someone shows up to class with daddy's shotgun"

They laughed.

"That's all I'm saying" he laughed. They laughed. Like something was funny.

What was it about being a starting quarterback in this town that just automatically made you a dick? And everyone acted like it was normal.

"Come on dude, not cool" Doug tried to be the voice of reason. Fucking bizarro world. Mick was making Doug seem sensitive.

"Chill dude, it's a joke" Mick replied "don't be such a bitch, right Jo?"

When I didn't respond, he moved on, "I'm not gonna lie Chloe, you're kinda bad. Where you been?"

"Not interested" Chloe told him.

"Wait, I thought your name was Courtney" Doug asked. I chuckled to myself.

"Well when you're ready to get with a real stud, you know where to find me" he licked his lips as if he wasn't acting like a big enough perv.

I couldn't believe he was saying all this stuff with Clarissa right there. Sure they weren't official but they messed around. I never knew what Clarissa saw in Mick. She was such a nice person and deserved so much better.

"Excuse me" I shuffled my way past Mikey and Doug and headed straight for the exit. Mikey and Chloe both came with me.

=^_^=

PE was a period I could finally be by myself. As my classmates struggled out on the field to run laps, I sat in the bleachers and watched them. The assistant coach for the football team handled PE that day. It got me thinking how I hadn't seen coach in a long time except on the news.

I had thought I would see him today but nothing so far.

I was sitting on one of the seats close to the entrance so I could hear the conversations a few of the latecomers had as they made their way into the stadium. It quickly became a common theme that they'd be talking about the whole island thing. Usually me.

"So what if he looks or acts like a girl, he's still a boy and I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing a bathroom with him" one girl said

"SHE'S harmless though right? And honestly saying she can't use the girl's bathroom is invalidating and unnecessary" another girl replied.

I couldn't see either of their faces yet and didn't recognise the voices so I waited for them to come into view. It made sense to know who was on my side and who wasn't.

I couldn't believe there were sides now.

"Well, I think the school is right" The first girl said.

"They literally do not care about what we think, at all. It's just an excuse to be transphobic"

When they came into view, I recognised one of the girls from English. I wasn't sure but I thought she was a drama kid. I made a mental note to talk to her if I ever got the chance. The other girl, Jessica had only transferred here last year. I wondered how I would change her mind about me.

Soon they were out of earshot and joining everyone else on the field.

=^_^=

I wished I could have been out there with them. They all looked so happy. Running, goofing off. But things were different for me now. They'd decided PE would be too complicated so it was best I sat it out for now.

"Hey" I heard Mikey and turned to see him standing next to me smiling. I realised I hadn't seen him out there with the others.

"Hey" I said back.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked as he took the seat beside me.

"Nothing. Just how much things have changed the last 3 months, you know?"

He sighed "Trust me, I know. But that's life"

"I know"

"But you're happy right?" He asked looking concerned "you're happy right now, aren't you?"

I brushed off the concern "yeah, sure. I just didn't miss dealing with Mick and the rest of them.

I smoothed the skirt on my lap. "I'm fine" I assured him.

"Good, I hate seeing you hurt" he took my hand and looked deep in my eyes "if there's ever anything bothering you, you tell me?"

I smiled and nodded.

He smiled too "you're so beautiful". He reached with one of his arms and touched my face. I inched forward and so did he. Before long, we were kissing again. Him and I together always made me forget all my worries. The way he held me made me feel like we would be together forever. I hoped so because I didn't know what I would do without him.

Not long after, I made him go join to others and I watched the rest of PE alone. The weather was nice.

Eventually we all returned to our classes and the day continued. The rest of the school day would continue without much more excitement.

=^_^=

We were doing warm-ups on the soccer field eagerly waiting for coach to show up. Most of us hadn't seen him since we got on that ship except occasionally on TV. Doug had seen him briefly in town the week before school started.

Usually he'd be here before we did setting up for training but not today.

The school day had ended and like we always did, we got dressed in our kit and came to the field. A few things were different though, today, a number of kids were in the stands probably hoping to catch a glimpse of coach who had become something of a local celebrity. Another thing different was that we weren't already being yelled at while running laps.

I glanced across everyone on the field. All 16 of us players and Mr. Stevens the assistant coach. I'd heard he and Mr. Baldwin were close friends. I wondered how he must have been doing but he didn't show anything.

Wearing that kit and sitting on that grass, it was like not much had changed. The boys were deep in conversation discussing some anime "who would win" scenario. The other half of our team who were sophomores and juniors also joined in on the conversation happily arguing the case for who they thought stronger.

It felt great being back here. Things were a bit different but they were approaching normal. I wouldn't need to fight for survival anymore because I was safe atleast.

I closed my eyes and felt the breeze blow.

Eventually we started wondering whether coach would ever show and we asked Mr. Stevens as much who assured us he was just running late. In all the years I'd known him, coach never ran late.

=^_^=

Soon noise from a commotion near the entrance reached us as four adults came into view. I noticed coach and the principal right away but the other made my heart beat faster. I recognised the black uniforms and became even more sure as they got closer. They were police. Why were they here? With coach and Principal David.

Soon they closed the gap and were standing in front of us. Coach's eyes remained trained on me. He'd shaved his head. Why was I focused on that?

"Jo, your mum is here to pick you up?" Principal David was the first to speak.

"Why?" I asked.

"Oliver Reid, would you come with us please" One of the officers said simply.

=^_^=

I'd love to hear what you thought about this chapter in the comments. If you liked it, leave a kudo :)

"What do you want with him?" I yelled as Mikey rushed to my side.

I watched in dismay as both police officers stood on either side of Ollie and gestured for him to walk.

"What did he do?" I screamed panicked but neither of them would say a word to me.

"Harris, I need you take her to the parking lot. Her mother is waiting there" was all Coach said. He wouldn't even look at me.

"What did you do?" I raised my voice at Coach but even that couldn't get a response from him.

"Now, Harris" Coach repeated sternly.

"Yes, Coach" Mikey replied before taking my hand. "Jo, come on" he said softly.

"What did you do?" I repeated before letting myself get pulled away.

I suddenly became aware of all the stares. All the students that lined the bleachers and the entrance stared at me, at Ollie and the police officers and tried to piece together what was going on.

No one knew for a fact why the officers were here so I couldn't even imagine what rumors would quickly start to spread.

Whatever they came up with, it couldn't have been worse than the actual reason: that Ollie had sexually assaulted me.

I feared that they would all find out but I think even worse than that, I feared what would happen to Ollie. Because of me.

Mikey had managed to drown out the trauma that assault had caused and I truly believed I had gotten past it but if I would be forced to talk about it and if it would dredge up all those old feelings, I wondered if I was strong enough.

"Maybe this is for the best" Mikey whispered in my ear. "Maybe this is how you deal with it"

"I had dealt with it" I replied sharply.

Students that lined the entrance made way for us to pass. They probably hadn't heard my outburst. There was no reason for them to have any extra interest in Mikey and I.

No, their sights were trained on Ollie being escorted by the police.

=^_^=

My heart sank even more as mum's sedan came into view.

"She knows. Oh God, she knows" the words wrestled in my head.

I watched the driver side door open and mum rush out of the car and in my direction. Her face was so pale, I thought she might faint.

Before she'd even said a word, I felt tears roll down my cheeks. As she closed the gap, I opened my arms and she hugged me tight.

"Mum nothing happened I swear"

"Don't swear" she replied while still hugging me tightly. "How could you not tell me?" she asked pulling apart. I could hear the pain in her voice.

"There was nothing to tell" I tried and failed to convince her.

"That's not what Mr. Evans said. According to him, you were assaulted..." she swallowed "..sexually".

"You don't understand, it wasn't like that!" It was exactly like that but not that simple.

"Then tell me now what it was like and don't lie to me"

I stared at the ground and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Mikey stopped it before anything happened and, and.. he wasn't even himself, we were all affected by the island.. the flower" I struggled to get the words out.

"Jesus Christ Jonathan, not this thing again. We asked about this flower nonsense and we were told there was no such thing. They said nothing out of the ordinary happened on that island"

"Mum they're lying--" i felt my throat dry up after I heard that name. I couldn't believe how horribly this was going. She didn't believe a word coming out of my mouth.

"I tried to be supportive but if this whole transgender thing is just a coping mechanism for some unresolved trauma..."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. "it's not!" I yelled.

"oh my God, I rushed you through informed consent because I trusted you know what's best for you"

"Mum stop!" I yelled. "stop."

We both stayed quiet for a few seconds. My mind quickly glanced over to Mikey who had given us some space when we started getting into it but could no doubt, hear what we'd been saying.

My eyes darted down to my mum's feet. Only a few of her toe nails were painted, the rest remained bare.

My mind darted back to the insane conversation we were having. It had started with me trying to reassure my mother that nothing had happened and somehow my entire identity was now being questioned.

"It's not a coping mechanism. I'm your daughter Joanna. Please never call me that deadname ever again" she remained quiet and listen even though I could tell she had things to say.

"Ollie came at me, yes. He slapped me and even forcefully kissed me. Mikey saved me before it went any further. He even beat him up right there"

She was still listening so I kept going.

"I didn't tell anyone what happened because I didn't want to be that girl that almost got raped. I already have too much attention and I didn't feel like adding to it."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think there was anything to tell. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I should have told you. Please forgive me."

At that point, I waited for her to say something, anything.

She seemed to think to herself for a bit before nodding,"OK".

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I need you to promise me that you're not just transitioning because you fell in love with your saviour" Mum added and it took me a second to process what she had said. "I've seen it happen too many times"

Wait what? Where had that come from?

"Mikey?" I asked bewildered.

"Yes. I've seen my patients do crazier things for love. I need to know that you didn't fall in love with him and decide to become a girl because that's the only way he would have you"

"Mum that doesn't make any sense"

"I need you to promise anyway"

"Fine, I promise. I'm not doing this for love" This whole conversation was crazy, I thought.

She seemed to accept it and move on but I pressed on to get her confirmation.

"So they're going to release Ollie right?" I asked expectantly.

She gave me a strange look "why would they do that?"

I grew upset, "mum I just told you I don't want to be that girl that--"

"I know honey but he has to pay for what he did. He can't just go free"

"Mum you can't!" I pleaded.

"I'm sorry Jo, but this matter is non-negotiable" she said firmly "what if he goes and does it to another girl because we let him get away with it"

"He won't! Talk to him and you'll see, he's not like that I promise"

"He did it to you and a boy that does that is dangerous. There's no reason to think he won't do it again and don't give me anymore of that flower nonsense"

"I'll deny it" I told her "I'll deny everything and say it never happened"

"Now listen here young lady--" Mum seemed to be about to lose it before being interrupted.

"Good day Mrs. Fahey" I heard Coach's voice and wondered how much he'd heard.

"Good day Mr. Evans" she replied calming down.

He turned to me "Hello Joanna". I didn't respond.

"Ma'am do you mind if I talk to your daughter for a few minutes?" he asked.

Mum sighed and nodded before turning over to Mikey who'd been standing apart quietly the entire time. As she began closing the distance between her and him, I felt sorry for him.

=^_^=

Coach looked so sad. It was the first thing I noticed when I walked up to him. Something was definitely weighing on his mind.

"I know it must seem to you like I betrayed your trust but I want you to know that I did this for you" Coach began quickly and kept up the pace like he had something to say and wanted to get it out quickly.

If was weird for Coach to talk to me so casually. Things had changed a lot since three months ago but the last thing I expected was this sort of dynamic between us.

"Why did you do it? I told you nothing happened. I told you I was fine"

"I know. But I made the mistake of believing someone that said the exact same thing before" he replied.

"This is about your sister" I prodded.

He sighed "I told you a bit about what happened to her but what I didn't tell you was that she died... suicide"

I just listened.

"We had a memorial for her a few days ago" he continued "we held a kind of remembrance, just a few people who knew her well"

Coach looked like he was dealing with a lot which was very unusual. Even when we were stranded on that island and things seemed hopeless, he never looked sad... not anything like this.

"I got to talking with a few of her old friends and one of her girlfriends told me that towards the end of her life, she would talk about all the mistakes she made. The biggest one- that she made me keep it a secret. Towards the end of her life, she regretted keeping the whole thing a secret".

My head fell slightly.

"She regretted not telling someone and not getting help" Coach took a few unsteady steps backwards and leaned on a car.

A cool evening breeze blew passed and picked up a few strands of my hair. I stood there in my soccer uniform unsure of what to do or say.

"If I had just had the courage to do what I knew was the right thing, maybe my sister would still be alive" he finished.

After that, I closed the distance between us and hugged him tightly, "It wasn't your fault".

=^_^=

Mum, Mikey and I sat quietly in the car as she drove us home. Mikey had insisted he stay with me and had called his parents to let them know. I had no idea what he'd talked about with mum but it had him deep in thought and visibly distressed.

I thought briefly about asking him about it but brushed the thought away. If he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. Besides, mum would probably hear if I asked.

The long ride remained quiet the whole way through except one moment when mum asked if we wanted to stop for food. I declined.

As soon as we got home, I announced Mikey and I were going to my room while already halfway up the stairs. Mum responded by telling me to leave the door open.

"I can't believe this!" I let out my frustration as soon I collapsed into my bed, "Everyone is going to find out what happened".

Mikey didn't say anything. He was being much quieter than usual.

"As if I didn't already have enough to deal with" I continued "I'm all anyone is going to talk about for the rest of the school year" I sighed loudly.

I noticed Mikey was still standing by the door so I had to ask,

"What's wrong?"

When he didn't reply, I stood, walked over to him and took his hands in mine. "Babe, what's the matter?"

"Have you always been transgender?" He asked me.

"What are you talking about?" my grip loosened.

"Have you always been a girl because you never mentioned it to me"

"Is this about what my mother said because--"

"It is" he interrupted me "And I'm wondering if she has a point because the whole time I've known you, you've been a regular guy and never showed any interest in any of this stuff but all of a sudden--"

"All of a sudden what?" it was my turn to interrupt because I was getting sick and tired of people thinking they know me better than I do myself "you think I'm doing this because of you?"

"Aren't you?" he asked matter of factly.

"Oh my God, you fucking narcissist--" he pushed the door shut when I raised my voice but I didn't care "you think I'm popping pills and wearing these clothes and going through all this shit because of you??"

I didn't expect an answer and I didn't let him give any because I kept going "Because you're so damn amazing, aren't you? I'm turning my entire life upside down because I'm in love with you?"

"I didn't mean that"

"Well what the fuck did you mean?" I was boiling "Because it sounds like you mean I don't have a fucking backbone!"

He didn't say anything and neither did I for a moment. His face fell the floor and even now, through all my anger, that made me sad.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed, stepped away from him and climbed back into bed. I laid down and turned away from him. "If you insisted on coming here just to say this, you've said it. You can leave now." I could hear the sadness in my own voice.

"Jo, I didn't mean it like that" I heard him say.

The tears in my eyes flowed freely, I tried and failed to keep my voice steady. "Just go" I said finally.

Today had started so well.

A few moments later, I heard the door open and close. He was gone.

=^_^=

I was awoken by knocks on the door. I didn't remember falling asleep. The tears in my eyes had dried up and I had a slight shiver.

"Sweetie, it's me. Your dad called, he's coming home early" Mum said through the door.

"Door's open, mum" I called out to her.

She opened the door slowly and walked in. I turned to look at her and she had an expression that said "I come in peace". If that wasn't enough for me to let my guard down, she also had a tray in her hand.

"It's been an exhausting day, I thought you might be hungry"

I sat up and took the tray in my lap. "Thanks".

She took a seat on the bed beside me and rubbed my shoulder.

"I know things got heated between you and Michael earlier and I wanted to apologise. It was my fault and I shouldn't have said what I did"

"It's fine" I said before I took a sip of the chicken soup she'd brought me.

"I just worry, you know?" She continued "It's a mother's job to worry, you'll learn that soon enough"

I was drained. There wasn't any more fight left in me so I just listened to her.

"But even so.." she paused to take a breath. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions "I should trust that you know what you're doing and that you know your own mind."

This got through to me and I struggled to stop myself from crying. I was tired of crying.

She reached her palm over and pressed gently into my cheek.

"I have raised a strong, smart, beautiful girl and I'm so so proud of you" she told me.

I could do nothing else but let the tears fall down my cheeks and wet the soccer shorts I still hadn't taken off.

"Oh my baby, I love you so much" she said as she wiped the tears from my cheeks. "When Mr. Evans told me what he thought had happened to you, I couldn't think"

"I'm sorry mum" I forced through my tears "I'm sorry I didn't tell you"

"It's fine baby... now don't worry about that, eat your food and go clean up okay?" she smiled warmly "You dad will be here soon"

"Ok" I nodded "why is he coming back early anyway?" I asked, "I know how important this trip was."

"Honey your father loves you. More than you know. He heard what happened and got on the first train". She said reassuringly.

"He doesn't like that I'm transitioning though, I can tell"

She paused for a moment before responding "It hasn't been easy on him, 'losing his son' but he gained another beautiful daughter and he'll see that, don't you worry".

"Ok mum" I said finally. I wasn't sure I shared her optimism. I'd heard them arguing a few weeks; 'Who's going to carry on the family name?'. For a few days, he wouldn't even look at me. I had just survived a month in hell and came back to a father that wanted nothing to do with me.

I didn't get why this was such a bad thing. All I wanted was to be myself and be happy.

"Your food will get cold" Mum stated as she stood up breaking me away from my thoughts.

I simply smiled and watched her leave the room, all the while pretending there weren't any soul crushing thoughts flying around in my head.

=^_^=

I stood naked in front of the mirror inspecting my body for any changes. My skin seemed smoother and my nipples felt puffy and weird but other than that, there was nothing noticeable yet. I still looked fairly like any girl my age. My slight build and longish hair certainly helped to that effect.

I briefly inspected my neck and noted it was clear of marks. Most cuts and bruises I sustained on the island had healed nicely but there were still a few here and there.

I thought back to what I'd already gone through: plane crash, hit by a wave, washed ashore, slapped, choked, drowned, half a day trying to keep the boy I love from dying in my arms...

Being back home, going to school again, these things shouldn't be so hard. But they were. Harder than when I left.

Maybe I missed the simplicity of the island. One goal: don't die. Things were moe complicated now.

Once again, I was broken away from my thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Honey..." my mum's voice sounded through the door.

"I'm naked" I yelled.

"Ok, I just got a call sweetie, it seems that other student 'Benjamin' has been taken in for questioning. I think he was on the island with you. Do you know why?"

Yes, I did.

We may have gotten off the island but none of us had managed to escape it just yet.

=^_^=

Thank you for completing this latest chapter. I apologise for the long hiatus. My life is about as complicated as Jo's right now. What are your thoughts on this story? How do you like the way things are going? How do you think things will go? Leave a comment to let me know!

I awoke to the smell of eggs and bacon, my dad's favorite way to start the day. I'd intended to stay up and wait for him to come home but I was too exhausted after the day I'd had.

I dreaded going downstairs to meet him. I didn't know how he'd react. We hadn't spent much time together since I came back home insisting I was now his daughter.

I knew I'd always been a bit of a disappointment. I never really enjoyed the same things he did. He'd tried to get me interested in football, he'd wanted to teach me how to properly handle and shoot a gun.

"Any boy your age would jump at the opportunity" he'd tried and failed to convince me. I just didn't see the point.

It's not that I didn't want to be close to him. I wanted to, I just.. I don't know.

I became less of a disappointment when I joined our soccer team although my position of goalkeeper was less than ideal. Something about not enough contact.

"You're the man of the house" he'd tell me whenever he went on his numerous business trips. He spent more time away than with us. Chloe joked once that he probably had a second family.

I knew that wasn't possible though. He loved my mum, and he loved his golden girl Gaby. He tolerated me at best. I really didn't know how he'd react to the news.

I changed out of my nightgown into a Conservative t-shirt and shorts. He'd seen me wearing skirts and dresses sometimes over the summer but I didn't want to poke that bear right now.

As I made my way downstairs, I could hear mum and dad talking in the kitchen. I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying but I guessed it was probably about me.

I stomped my feet down the stairs so they heard me coming and as predicted, their voices died down. When I was in view of them, mum was the first to walk up to me smiling,

"Good morning" I said weakly. "Good morning dad" I followed looking directly at him. My posture unconsciously straightened, my voice clear and precise.

He acknowledged me with a nod while accessing me from head to toe. My toe curled as I felt him judging me. I brought my arm to my elbow and felt myself shrink and avoid his gaze.

"how are you feeling honey" mum asked.

"I'm fine" I studied the pattern on the hardwood floor, each row of wood had an alternating shade of light and dark.

"oh go ahead you two, have a seat." mum said finally. It was easy to see through her fake smile. It was also easy to see that she desperately wanted us to have a nice breakfast. I decided to try at least.

=^_^=

"You let a boy touch you" I wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.

The nice breakfast didn't last long.

"I didn't let a boy touch me" I replied without looking up from my food.

"Look at me" dad said sharply. I obeyed. "Did I do something wrong? Did we raise you the wrong way?"

"Edward, don't." Mum pleaded.

"It's all the freedom we gave you. I let you pursue your own interests. Any opportunity my own father never gave me but it seems I was wrong." he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Well don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

No, I didn't have anything to say. I just stared at him while tears welled up in my eyes.

"You're prancing around town with that boy. That is not at all how we raised you. Now I hear you were raped".

"Edward, Stop! She wasn't raped." Mum tried to diffuse. This only seemed to set him off more.

"Stop supporting this!" he turned to her "This is on you too".

I stood sharply, tears rolled down my cheeks. "May I be excused?".

I wanted to argue, shout, scream, tell him not to talk to her like that but I just had to get away.

"No, sit down. We still have more to talk about." his voice was stern but calmer now. Slowly I sat back down.

"Gomez is coming later to talk to you. He'll need the whole story. Do not leave anything out."

Dad's lawyer.

"I don't want to press charges" I said.

"That is not up to you." he replied "but I agree, there is no need to drag this on any longer. I am going to ask Gomez to bury this as soon as possible."

"Is that what you'd say if it was Gaby?" I argued. To be honest, I don't know why I did. I'd gotten what I wanted. I should have just kept quiet.

He took a deep breath. "Go to your room" he replied simply before taking a bite out of a piece of bacon.

I glanced at my mother who had a worried look on my face. I pulled myself up to my feet once more and made my way upstairs without another word.

=^_^=

Three new messages; Mikey, Chloe and Clarissa.

Clarissa: hey girl, you good?

I replied: not really, talk later?

--

Chloe: how could you not tell me?

I replied: I'm sorry

I figured Mikey must have told her.

--

Mikey: text me when you get this.

I replied: hi.

Mikey: can I call you?

Me: yeah

--

Not even a minute later, my phone rang.

"hello?" I said shyly. We hadn't left it in a great place last time we talked.

"I'm sorry" he replied "forgive me?"

"Of course. I'm sorry too"

"you did nothing wrong, I was an idiot"

"yeah you were" I smiled

"can I make it up to you?"

"how?" I asked curiously.

"Let me take you out tonight"

I hesitated "I don't know, my dad's home and I feel grounded".

"it's cool, he likes me" Mikey responded.

I chuckled "Probably not anymore"

"Did something happen?"

"He kinda laid into me this morning but I don't want to talk about it"

"I'm sorry, do you want me to come over?"

"Don't skip class because of me, I'm fine" I assured him "we'll see each other later for our date".

"I can't wait"

"Go back to class" I smiled even if he couldn't see. We said our goodbyes and hung up.

Mum came to knock on my door sometime later but I just said I didn't want to talk.

=^_^=

I spent the rest of my time scrolling though tiktok and occasionally thinking about everything that was going on.

I thought about the present. About Mikey, Chloe, everyone. I thought about this thing with Ollie that keeps coming up. Atleast now it was out and being dealt with. I thought about this thing with Ben. He'd stabbed Mikey, he'd tried to drown me.

I wondered whether that would become a thing. No matter how hard we tried to move past everything that happened on that island, it kept coming back to haunt us.

I thought about the past. About the island. About the crash. I wondered what my life would have been like if it never happened.

As horrible as it was, it did make me come to terms with my girlhood. Would I still be pretending to be a boy if it didn't happen. Was it inevitable for me to realise who I really am?

I thought about the future. About College. About getting a job. About getting married. Was that in the cards for me? Would Mikey want to marry me? Would I even want to marry him? Dad probably wouldn't give his blessing. Would we have to elope?

I thought about my baby that I would never hold. I thought about being in the hospital holding a baby boy or girl. I thought about holding that baby tightly all the way home never once letting them go.

A wave of sadness ran over me. I was mourning the loss of a part of me that never existed.

Sometime later, my father knocked on my door. "Come downstairs".

I got dressed wearing a pink top and a Jean skirt. I don't know if I was trying to spite him or prove that this is who I was or both.

I put my hair in a high ponytail and studied myself in the mirror before making my way downstairs.

=^_^=

The lawyer who sat alone in the empty living room introduced himself as Mateo. He looked in his mid forties, handsome, wearing a grey suit.

He had a friendly smile on his face. The kind you'd expect on a therapist when they're trying to get you to open up.

"You must be Joanna" he gestured for me to take a seat.

I did. I studied him. So this was Gomez. Dad had mentioned him a few times as they had worked together for a long time but I had never seen him.

"I thought you'd be older" I told him.

He laughed "well you look a fair bit different than I imagined as well".

He had a slight accent I imagine he would have worked very hard to get rid of.

"Joanna, may I just begin by saying how strong you are for surviving what I expect was a very harrowing ordeal"

"Thank you" I said softly.

Mum and Dad came in from a different room and took seats opposite me.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Mateo" Mum smiled.

"You too Mrs. Fahey" he replied.

"Oh please call me Veronica" she insisted.

He smiled, "I only wish it was under better circumstances". He turned to my father "To get right to it, as instructed, we will not be pressing charges. Without the victim's consent and the lack of any evidence otherwise, the case is being dropped"

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"The city is as eager to shelf this as we are. Minors involved in a sexual assault case doesn't look good for them"

My father nodded.

"Unfortunately, Joanna might still be required to give a statement on a different case" he sorted through some papers. "Benjamin Garcia"

Looking up from his papers, he continued "it seems the DA already has enough to proceed with an investigation and it will likely go to court. Joanna will be required to give a statement as I said".

"Will he - will she need to testify in court?" Dad asked.

"It's possible but highly unlikely" he responded. "it says here that a Mr. Harris is listed as key witness. The judge will not request a witness that is a minor unless absolutely necessary."

We all breathed a sigh of relief. I felt bad for Ben who had it the worst on the island and even worse now.

"What will happen to him?" I asked.

"His lawyer will probably recommend that he pleads guilty to all charges. With any luck, he doesn't get tried as an adult despite the gruesome nature of the incident."

"It wasn't his fault" I said.

"I don't yet know the specifics of that case as of yet. He may be innocent but it doesn't look good. Character letters will help and - -" he paused "I'm sure his lawyer knows what he's doing. I wouldn't worry too much" he smiled.

Dad sat patiently listening which weirded me out. He didn't interrupt or try to take over the conversation.

"Now Joanna, I'm going to need you to tell me everything that happened" Mateo told me while leaning forward.

=^_^=

I hurriedly got dressed, then slipped my feet into one of Gaby's old heeled sandals. I guess they were mine now. She'd let me pick out whatever I wanted from her room earlier in the summer. Chloe and I spent a whole afternoon putting together my new wardrobe.

My phone rang and I knew it was Mikey calling again. He had wanted to come in but I told him to wait in the car. Couldn't handle Dad being rude to him.

As I rushed down the stairs and towards the door, Dad who has sitting in the living room called me over before I could make it out the door.

I took a breath and walked into the living room.

"Yes, dad?"

"Is that Michael out there?" he asked.

"yes, we're going out"

"you know he can come in the house right?"

I just nodded.

"well have fun".

Dad hadn't said anything the whole time I was telling the whole story. I'd told it before except the whole thing with Ollie.

I'd expected Dad to look disappointed, angry even. He didn't. I never expected the glimpse of sadness in his eyes on his otherwise expressionless face.

I turned to leave without saying a word. Not only was Mikey waiting for me, but I really didn't have enough strength to fight. I didn't want to say anything that would set him off.

"Jo" dad called out stopping me in my tracks. I turned slowly to see him standing. The sound of the TV played softly in the background.

"I know I haven't always shown it but I hope you know how much I love you"

"I know, Dad" I replied quietly.

=^_^=

I sat quietly in the car while Mikey drove occasionally glancing over at me. It wasn't until we were on the highway that he finally spoke.

"Babe"

"yeah?"

"are you okay?" he asked. I turned to him and smiled. He struggled to keep his eyes on the road.

I nodded.

"I'm really sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn't mean that, I was just - -"

"it's fine" I interrupted "things got pretty heated" I told him.

I wasn't in the mood to talk so I just put my head out the window.

=^_^=

I was sitting in a Booth at the food court of the mall. The same one dream Gaby and dream me sat in. I thought back to how spot on everything was. Everything from the ice-cream section to the Forever 21 across from the food court.

Mikey returned with out trays and handed me my order. I thanked him and we began talking while he sat.

I dug into the burger and only then did I realise how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten all day.

"How do you feel about having to use the staff bathroom?" Mikey asked. The question caught me off guard. I swallowed before looking up at him.

"it's whatever" I told him.

"You've barely said two words to me" he was looking me dead in the eyes. "I thought we told each other everything. But lately.. I don't want us to lose our friendship now that we're a couple"

"Mikey.."

"Just forget it" he said dejected.

I reached my hand across the table and place them over. "you're right"

"You're my girlfriend but you were my best friend first" I squeezed his hand. How long had he been thinking about this? I realised we hadn't talked the way we used in a long time. Somewhere along the line, I started being selective about what I told him. It was hard to say the things on my mind but I had to try.

"I'm not going to use the staff bathroom and I don't care what Felicity says" I told him "I'm not harming anyone by using the bathroom that makes me feel comfortable"

"That's right"

"I won't skip gym either. I hate being excluded and it makes me feel like a freak"

I took a deep breath.

"I'm nervous about going back to class" I opened up. "I hate being the centre of attention and having everyone talk about me".

I felt our hands disconnect as I sat back in my chair working up the courage to say the next thing on my mind.

"I hate that I'm not a normal girl. I hate that we can't even have sex."

Without skipping a bit, Mikey stood from his chair and asked, "do you want to get some air?"

He'd totally ignored what I said. After I opened my heart to him.

He took my hand and led me out the mall. Like a stray puppy, I following. The whole time I kicked myself for saying that out loud. I must have been insane talking about sex.

We walked and walked until the noise of our town's bubbling adolescent population faded away. We walked until it was just the two of us and mother nature.

The cool evening breeze blew at my sundress which I was starting to regret wearing. It had been a warm day earlier but it had rapidly cooled which we sat in the food court.

Eventually he stopped and so did I. I looked up at him. Was he taller? I thought about how being smaller than all the boys on the team used to make me feel self conscious. Now it didn't bother me one bit.

"This is so remote. I hope you're not a serial killer" I chuckled nervously trying to break the tension a bit.

"I'm a virgin" Mikey said suddenly.

I knew that. We both were. Why was he saying that now?

"Uh..." That was all I could manage.

"See, I say that and it doesn't feel bad because..." his voice trailed off "because it means that I don't know what it's supposed to be like or feel like"

Where was he going with this?

"All that matters is what it feels like between us."

He took both my hands in his and stared deep into my eyes in that way that would always make me melt. Nothing had changed between how I felt about him now and how I felt about him on the island.

"And I don't want you to feel pressured to do this. Only if you're ready, even if that means never."

I stood there like a stump. Awkward and so full of love.

"Because you're the only girl I've ever wanted. And probably ever will"

I broke and threw myself into his arms. Mikey held me tightly and I never wanted to leave. My head was buried so deep in his chest I could hear his heart beat.

I thought back to those moments on the island. I was so afraid Mikey would no longer like me when there were other girls around. How foolish.

=^_^=

Sometime later, we walked back to the car. It's all a blur now. Maybe we walked hand in hand, maybe I held on to his arm, maybe I'd climbed on his back.

Maybe we rode the clouds back to his car. Atleast that's what it felt like.

Mikey and I stole glances the whole drive home. Occasionally he'd catch me watching him and make a joke. I'd laugh. I was so deep in love it scared me. How would I go on if I ever lost him?

Eventually we got home, he kissed me goodnight and drove off. He'd asked me if I would be in class the next day. I nodded.

I walked in the door still buzzing from the lovely evening I'd just had. I turned to the living room and saw Dad sitting there talking to someone. I couldn't see their face from the entrance so I decided to ignore it.

Before I could make it up the stairs however, dad called, "Jo, you have a guest"

I sighed and made my way into the living room to a surprise. Ollie was sitting there having a conversation with my dad.

I turned to look at Dad who didn't say another word.

"Jo, I hope this is okay." Ollie began "I came to apologise"

"You already apologised" I replied

Dad groaned slightly as he stood from the couch, "I'll let you two talk".

I quietly took a seat while Dad left the room and subsequent thuds signalled that he was headed upstairs.

I had stopped seeing Ollie as my attacker when it turned out he wasn't thinking straight like the rest of us. I had long stopped being petrified at his presence.

"What were you and my dad talking about?"

"You" he responded.

"Bonding over what a disappointment I am?"

"He loves you"

"What do you want, Ollie?" He was the last person I wanted to have that conversation with.

He visibly backed off. "I wanted to thank you. For not pressing charges"

"Of course I wouldn't, it wasn't your fault".

"I know. I thought I should thank you anyway. I wouldn't do very well in jail" he chuckled to himself.

I forced a smile.

"Well, you're welcome. But you didn't have to come over, you could have texted me"

"I know. I just wanted to see you"

"What do you mean?" I asked surprised by his statement.

"I still dream about it, you know? . That moment between us"

"What are you talking about?" He wasn't making any sense.

"You looked so hot, even hotter now, and I like to think I had something to do with you accepting who you are"

"I want you to leave" I told him as sternly as I could manage.

"Listen Jo" he made his way across the room and sat on the chair closest to mine. "When I heard you fighting for me as they took me away, I realised there was a chance you felt the same way."

What the fuck?

"I thought maybe you enjoyed it just as much as I did. Even as they put me in that cop car, you were all I could think about"