Mother 1

An 11-year-old boy is living a happy childhood. He had a loving mom and Dad. He has friends and is respected and liked at school. He loves playing football and helping his mother cook. He thanks God every night for the blessings he has.
This was until his life was turned upside down.

1. Blessed

I just had my 11th birthday which was a huge party where mom and Dad invited my grandparents and all my friends from school. Everyone had fun and I had so many presents. I don't think I ever smiled so much as I was with the people that I loved and care for so much.

A few days later, I was playing football with my friends. Some of you would call this game soccer. I call it football. It is a game that I love as it means that I am with my friends. I like the competing aspect and trying to be the best player. Despite me trying to be the best, I was far from the best. This did not matter, as I was just happy kicking the ball around. Today I was in the goals which gave me a lot of responsibility. I can say with pride that I only let one ball escape me. My team ended up winning which was a good feeling.

After we played soccer, we sat down and rested. One of the boys was complaining saying that he had so many chores. He joked that he was sure that he had the wrong parents. His real parents were some rich snobs and he was missing the life of luxury and no chores. I laughed at the thought but at the same time, I did not agree with him. I was proud of my family. I was the only child, but I could wish for no better mom or dad. I was having a great childhood, where I was happy and felt loved and secure.

When I went home, Mom was cooking lasagne. I love lasagne and could eat it hot or cold! I asked her if I could help and she smiled and said I can cut the onions. This was not my favourite part of cooking, as tears came to my eyes when I cut them. Mom would always joke and say was it so bad that I was helping her as she would tease me that I was crying. This would make me laugh and tell her that it was slave work. Then I told her about the football game. I may have exaggerated how well I played, but mom listened to every word.

At dinner time, Dad praised our cooking and said we should be on Master Chef on TV. Then mom would joke and say suddenly I had superpowers, as I have done some astonishing things at football.

After I have done my homework, Mom came to my room and asked did a bomb explode in it. I tried explaining that although it looked messy, I knew where everything was. Mom sighed and said that I was like dad and then told me it was time to get ready for bed. I found my Bart Simpson pyjamas under a bunch of other clothes. Dad came in to say good night and told me he also had to rest, as it was a long day at work the next day.

Mom came in and asked was I too old to get a bedtime story. I didn't care if I was 90, I loved bedtime stories. Mom read “Little House on the prairie”. They sure had a tough life back in those days. I was happy to live in the modern days where we had running water and indoor toilets. When mom closed the book, she admitted that it was also one of her favourite books when she was a girl. She still liked reading historic books as she thought that these people made the world that we now lived in.

This made me think, what would people say about me in 100 years.

Mom told me not to sleep yet, as we should say prayers. So we both went on our knees and thanked God for all His blessings and the good life we have. Then I prayed that God would bless my grandparents, my friends and forgive the teachers for giving too much homework! Mom smiled and said that she was sure that God has humour. I looked back at her and said that I was serious!

School went well the next day however I could not understand why history was so boring. The best part was when we had recess at lunch. We played football so we were tired and sweaty when classes started again. It was a shame that the sun was shining outside as this made classes seem longer.

The school was finally over. My best friend asked me if I wanted to come to his house. I told him that I should go home. I didn't tell mom that I would be hanging with friends after.

When I came home, I thought it was strange that Dad was home. He said that he was working late today, then why was he home? There was also a woman there strangely looking at me. I did the polite thing and greeted everyone. The woman acted strangely and shouted that she needed to hug me. I was confused and afraid and looked at mom and dad, hoping they would tell me what was going on. Mom did not look happy and told me to go to my room.

I went to my room thinking that this woman was coming to complain about something I did. I sat on my bed and wondered what it could be. I am no saint, and I can usually remember if I have done something wrong. I felt left out being told to go to my room. If the adults were having a trial about me, I should be able to defend myself. I should have the opportunity of being heard. I could not even hear what they were talking about. I just heard that the discussion was getting very serious, as they were shouting. Even when they shouted at each other, I could only hear a word here and there. I had no clue as to what they were saying. I comforted myself that I would soon find out.

I was called down to dinner time which was also a weird situation. We all were silent and no one said a word. We usually talked a lot when we ate dinner and now. The silence was killing me, so I just asked if I was in trouble? Did I do anything wrong? Dad answered by saying no and there was silence again. Then mom started crying. This was also a shock as mom never cried. I did not know what to do. I could see that Dad was the same. I asked mom what was the matter, and she left the table apologising for breaking down.

I went back to my room thinking of what happened. I knew that I was in trouble. I guessed that the woman that visited us was the cause. She must have told my parents something that could make mom so sad. This made me think of what I could do to help. I did not like seeing my mother cry and be so sad, but I did not know what to do to help. I figured the best thing I could do is be quiet and do everything she wanted me to.

Mom came into my room and we both sat on the bed. Then Mom started hugging me so hard that it was hard for me to breathe. I could see that her eyes were red from crying. She told me that she was so happy that I was her son. She loved me so much and she was proud of me. I was the best thing in her life. She wanted me to remember this and remember how much I was wanted in the family.

This was strange and to be honest, I felt uneasy about it. I tried to joke when I asked my mom would she still love me as much when I refused to get a haircut. Mom hugged me tighter and started crying.

Cutting my hair was something that we always argued about. It was slightly curly and was long. It was not as long as girls hair, but I could put a ponytail in it. Mom always wanted me to cut it because some people thought that I looked like a girl. Now it seemed that she even loved my long hair.

I could not sleep that night as the day was so strange. I did not like to see mom so sad and hoped that a nights sleep would help her come back to her normal happy self. I prayed to God for this and knew he would do what he could.

The next day, I went to the toilet where Dad was shaving. This was something that I loved to do. I loved to watch Dad shave. I asked him why mom was so sad. Dad stopped shaving as he looked at himself in the mirror and after a few minutes told me that mom and he were both scared and afraid. They had a problem and hoped that it would be solved. It was a problem the adults had, and I did not have to think about it.

I could not concentrate at school. Mom was sad and Dad said they were always afraid. I never really considered that parents could be afraid. Then I thought that they could always be worried about their jobs or how they would pay for repairs. It made me think that I was happy that I was a child. We only had to worry about the next exam.

The teacher noticed that I was not concentrating and asked me if I needed to talk about something. I smiled and said that everything was fine.

After school, my best friend Sean asked me if I wanted to play football with the boys in the park. I agreed and we played for an hour. It was a chance for me to think of something else than the situation at home. I was happy and smiling as we kicked the ball back and forth. Time flies when you are with friends, and I knew that it was late. I had to go home. I often came home late and mom and dad knew it was about football.

Today, when I came home, mom was mad and she said she was worried. She yelled at me saying that she was so worried and thought I would never come home. I started crying and apologised. I ran to my room and cried on my bed.

I was not crying because mom cried at me, but because I knew she was so sad and worried. I didn't know what to do and it was hard seeing.

Mom came in and sat beside me. She apologised because she was mad and told me I had a right to know what is happening.

"This woman that was here," Mom explained, "She was in the hospital the same time as you were born. She gave birth to a boy when I gave birth to you. Now she says that you were switched at birth. This means that the nurses by accident put the wrong name tag on you. She thinks that you are her son and her son is mine. She wants you to live with her."

To be continued

Mother 2

Jonas was happy until gis life was turned upside down, Now he does not understand what will happen to him. No one asks him!

Mother 2

I just sat there in shock when mom told me that another woman thinks that I was her real son. She thought that somehow that I was switched at birth. My mind could simply not understand it. I suppose that is a natural reaction. What would you think if someone told you that your mom and father were not your real parents? You would be like me. I was so confused and thought it was impossible. How could the hospital switch babies and send a baby home to the wrong parent?

People always said that I cry very easy and my cheeks were wet from tears as mom told me this. I only had one question and asked if she was still my mother. Mom was also in tears and said she would always be my mother. She assured me that babies switched at birth was very rare and a simple test would solve everything.

I was not worried, as I believe mom. I believed my parents were my right parents.

What mom did not tell me was that the hospital rang to her and informed her that there could have been a switch, as their records were not done properly. This made Dad angry as he was asking why this was being told 11 years later and why did they not know before the lady came. He thought the whole thing was from the twilight zone.

I read the newspaper and could read about the baby switch.

" A hospitals mistake could cause a custody case between two sets of parents. The City Hospital announced today that two babies could have been switched at birth 11 years ago. They would not clarify how long they knew this. It was only when one of the mothers asked to see the records that they did admit there could be a switch.

The mother had a son that was transgendered and lived as a girl. The child died in an accident while riding a bike.

The mother now wants custody of the child that could have been switched.

City hospital has been criticized for improper records, announcing their mistake and worse is they informed the parents of the surviving child days after they told the mother that lost her child.

This is a case similar to the Bible story of King Solomon. What will happen to the boy that two sets of parents want? What should happen?"

The newspaper article confused me so I asked Dad what it all meant. He explained that the hospital found out that they could have made a mistake and only now is revealing it. He explained that it may never have happened if the mother of the other child did not lose her child in an accident. The answer to the problem was that they could take a test to see who was my real parents. I wanted to ask Dad who I would live with, but I also knew that I did not want an answer.

I asked Dad what it meant by transgender. This made dad nearly choke and he said it was nothing I had to worry about.

The next few days were like a circus. My name was never mentioned, but it seemed like everyone at school knew that it was me. Everyone was extra kind and asking me if I would be taken away and living with some strange parents. Others asked me weird questions like was I kidnapped from the hospital or did my parents pay for me? All these questions annoyed me and I refused to answer them. The only answer that I gave was that this strange woman was not my mom. I had parents!

I could not even play football as media vans would come and these journalists would be taking pictures of me and asking what it felt like to be switched and did my parents take care of me? I covered my face. This happened a few days then Dad told me to stay home from school until the whole thing blew over.

I had to take a DNA test which was OK. The people were nice at the hospital. Mom was mad at them and at one stage, she asked them if they would also make a mess of this. I think that the hospital could have apologised a million times, but as mom says, some things have been hard to forgive.

The newspapers wrote a lot about the dead boy. They all wrote that he was transgender and I really wanted to know what this was. I asked mom did it mean that he was gay? I had a good idea what that was. Mom told me to sit on the sofa so she could explain. After she explained, I understood a bit better. The other boy was a boy and had a boys body, but he felt like he was a girl. So he wore girl clothes and did girl activities and lived as a girl. I nodded my head as I remembered a boy in our school that looked like a girl. We called him a sissy.

Over the next few days, I could not help thinking about the dead boy. I told my best friend Sean about it when I was at his house. He had this crazy idea that we should dress as girls to see what it was like. I went along with it. It is hard to explain why I did this. I think I wanted to understand why the dead boy was transgender. So Sean's sister was more than happy to loan us some of her own clothes. I ended up wearing a light yellow party dress and tights. His sister put my hair in a ponytail. I felt so strange with a dress on. I could feel the air against my legs. The tights felt soft and that was a strange feeling. When I looked in the mirror, I looked like a girl. I bet if I walked outside, no one could see that I was a boy.

When I came home, I did not tell mom or dad that I dressed as a girl. They had other things to think about. They were busy fighting for custody at court. Mom told me not to worry about it, as she knew that I was her son. Even if there was a switch, then I would still be her son. She took care of me and raised me. She loved me.

Dad on the other hand was angrier. He wondered if she would be seeking custody of me if her child was alive. Dad did not like when I asked about the dead boy. He would have been mad if he knew that I tried dressing like a girl. The fact was that I looked like a girl, but I knew that I was a boy. I was not happy that I looked like a girl and I still felt like I was a boy.

Mom was very sad one day. She was sad every day, but this day was worse. Dad explained that the DNA results were released and the strange mother was my birth mom. Mom hugged me more that day and kept on saying that no test can take the fact away that she was my mother. She was the one that raised me. She was the one that loved me.

Things were not the same as they were before. There was no laughter in the house. My parents did not understand that I could be given to some strange woman. I was so confused about everything and understood very little. It was hard to understand that a woman I never met gave birth to me wanted me. I wondered if I would have been so happy if I was not switched and had to live with her. I also wondered would she have wanted me if the dead son was alive. I doubted that and I doubted that I would be happier. At the same time, I wondered what she was like. Did I take after her, and who was my real Dad?

I was confused. Where did I belong? Why did no one ask me where I belonged? I knew that if it was up to me, I would say to live with the parents I had now. Maybe I could stay with my birth mom on some weekends or holidays. She lived close by.

I also wondered when this was over, would things return to normal?

One day Mom and Dad came home late. They told me that the court case was over. Mom was crying and said that I was to live with the strange woman, but I could spend one weekend a month here with them. My head could not cope with this. I ran to my room and cried on my bed.

Later, mom came to me with something to eat. I could see that her eyes were red and I knew that she was crying. She hugged me once more and said she did not understand either why this was fair. The judge was a conservative man that obviously didn't think the case was over. She told me that I would always be her son. Then mom tried to be brave and tell me to trust that God had a plan and that I should be brave and try to accept the new change.

I pleaded with mom to let me stay. I did not want to replace a dead boy and I did not even know these people. Who was the strange woman? Who was my Dad? Where they nice or would they be mean to me?

Mom was now crying as well. She told me the woman's name was Tammy and mom thought she was a nice woman despite what she put our family through. My birth Dad died of cancer years ago, so it would just be me and her. I would never replace her dead son if I kept true to myself and was myself. She tried to console me by saying that I was lucky, as I had two moms that loved me.

Dad suggested we did not use the week I had left to moan and feel sorry for ourselves. So we tried our best that everything went back to normal and have a fun week. It was hard as there were times when we held back our tears.

The time came when I was to be handed over to Tammy. Tears were flowing as I nearly had to be torn away from mom. Things went so fast as before I knew it, I was sitting in Tammy's car and we were driving away from the only house I ever knew. Tammy kept on telling me how much she had to fight for me and how much she loved me. She knew that I would be happy there.

I remained silent.

Her house was similar to ours. Except with different furniture that looked posher. I saw pictures of her son, that looked more like a daughter. If I did not know that he was a boy, I would think that he was a girl. He was also very pretty. He must have been teased a lot. I felt sorry that his life was ended so fast. Tammy told me his name was Christoper, but he was called Chrissy. I whispered back that my name was Jonas.

Then she showed me my new bedroom. I nearly fainted and at the same time, I wanted to scream.

It was a girls bedroom

To be continued

Mother 3

Jonas was happy until his life was turned upside down, Now he does not understand what will happen to him. No one asks him!

Mother 3

The bedroom was white with pink curtains and a carpet. There was a dollhouse and box full of toys. There was a painting easel. There was no TV or computer. There was not even a PlayStation! The walls were covered with pictures from Disney princesses. To top it off, there must have been 20 teddy bears on the bed. This was a girls room. I looked at Tammy asking what this was all about. She acted as nothing was wrong. I figured she did not have time to change it.

I spent the day moving in. I moved my TV and PlayStation in and figured I had plenty of time to unpack the rest. I did not want to go out to Tammy. It seemed like she should be the enemy as she took me from my mom and Dad. How could that judge give me to someone that I did not even know?

She called me out for dinner. I admit that she was a great cook. It was like some fancy restaurant food. Tammy sat down and seemed as quiet as me. It must have been hard for her to have a strange boy like me sitting next to her. The difference was that it was her that wanted to take me away from my family.

"It's just the two of us now." She said, " I know this must be confusing to be taken away from the only family that you knew. My beloved husband and son were taken from me. I think that the judge thought it was best that you lived with me. This means we need to get to know each other. We need to have a fresh start. In time, you will understand that I am your mother."

I looked at her and my head was full of thoughts. If I accepted her as my mother, then would I be betraying the woman that was my mother all my life? If Tammy wanted a fresh start then why did she not have time to change the bedroom to a boys bedroom. She finished her welcome speech by telling me that she only had one rule, and that was to do what she said. Somehow, I considered this a warning.

I could get used to that I had a new mother, although I decided that I would never call her mother. It was strange that we were only two people. I missed my Dad. The house had many pictures of her dead husband and the son that I replaced. I wonder did losing two people that she loved make her crazy enough that she thought it was ok to tear me apart from my family. Maybe she was just selfish.

I slept in the princess room and cried myself to sleep. Tammy did not even read me a goodnight story. Mom always read a story to me. This was the highlight of every day. It was where I felt especially loved and wanted.

The next day, I went to my new school. This was a major change in my life. It was a private school. The other children were nice enough. I knew that they knew I was the boy that I was switched. They seemed afraid to speak with me as they most likely did not know what to say.

There was one boy who did. His name was Tom. He asked me what it was like being with Tammy. I honestly did not know what to say. I did not want him to think that I was a moaner and a negative person. So I just answered that it was a big change. Then he asked if I was the same as the dead boy? Was I a sissy? I think I got red in the face and told him that I am proud to be a boy and would never be a sissy. This made Tom laugh and admit that when Chrissy came to the school that he was often bullied. Tom smiled and told me that he was glad and this meant that we could be friends. Despite I thought this was strange, I was happy as I had a new friend that would make things easier.

When I came home Tammy has some cookies for me. She baked that day. Once again, I realized that she knew how to cook. I also did my best to try and speak with her. I told her that I met a new friend at school and that everyone was kind. She just smiled and nodded. I kept on talking but after a while, I stopped as it is hard having a one-way conversation. I was just as unsure if she was listening or not, so I just ate the cookies.

She then stood up suddenly and told me that it was time to take a bath. I agreed and went to the bath and waited that Tammy was still standing there. She said that she was waiting as she always helped Chrissy with his bath. I felt an anxiety attack and shouted that I can take my bath. We both stood our ground. I knew I was right to stand up to Tammy. I did not care that she helped Chrissy to take a bath. For me, taking a bath was very private and I was old enough to do it myself. Tammy ended up smiling and saying she could respect my wish for privacy. A compromise was that she would fill the bath

So I spent half an hour in a bath with scented water and bubbles. I never tried a bubble bath before, so this was new. I thought it was fun and so relaxing. When I was finished with the bath, I did not think that I smelled like a bed of roses.

I got a shock when I entered my room. Everything I owned was not there. My PlayStation was gone and all my clothes were gone. Tammy could see the shock on my face and reminded me that we agreed that we would have a fresh start, so she removed everything that could remind me of my family and make me miss them. I tried telling her that these things were important for me and made me happy. Tammy would not listen, she told me that I could use Chrissy's clothes and his toys.

Then she left me alone to ponder. I sat on the bed with a towel around my waist. I noticed that she forgot to take a picture of mom and dad that was on my table. I could not even speak with them as Tammy took my cell phone. I cried for a long time asking myself what did I do to deserve this?

I looked at the clothes that Chrissy had. Dresses, skirts, blouses, leotards.... pink clothes... clothes with Disney princesses and girl motives. I was so confused as to why a boy even would wear these. I found little mermaid panties and a purple tracksuit. It had a glitter princess crown on it, but it was the most boyish thing I could find. When I looked in the mirror again, I started crying. I looked like Chrissy. I no longer looked like a boy.

I looked around at the toys. There was no way I was to play with dolls and teddies. I found some paints and only used the colours black and blue to paint a masterpiece. It was a painting of a boy sitting alone in a puddle of tears surrounded by black. I knew the boy was me and it could be a way to show Tammy how I felt. She responded by saying the painting needed brighter colours.

The next day at school, I wore the same purple tracksuit to school. I noticed that people were strangely looking at me. I got an answer when Tom asked me was I sure that I was not transgender, as I looked like a girl today. I explained everything that happened. This made Tom mad as he said that it was child abuse. He continued by telling me that she wanted to replace her dead son with me. Tom stressed that I had to stand up to Tammy as she was trying to make me a girl. My life would be hell if others thought that I was a sissy. Chrissy was teased because he was transgendered. He could not accept that he had a boys body and was meant to be

it was not just Tom that advised me. The teacher asked me if I wanted to speak with her.

"I know you have gone through a lot," she said as the whole class listened, "You will get many new friends from your classmates here and support. I will also support you and changed this chaos into something positive. I do like the outfit you are wearing, my niece has the same outfit"

This made the whole class snicker as I wanted to hide.

After school, Tom invited me to play football with the other boys. I of course said that I would and spent the next hour doing something that I loved. The other boys quickly forgot that I was wearing a girls tracksuit. They seemed to be amazed that I could play the game. The good thing was that I did not think about the troubles and how much I missed my parents. I was now only concentrating on the game and doing the best I could. It was nice that I could smile and laugh, as I could not remember the last time that I have done this.

The game was stopped when Tammy appeared and took my hand taking me from the game. I do not know what she was saying. I just could see the other boys were in shock as she treated me like a toddler. I could see that they were whispering to each other. I on the other hand was embarrassed and mad. I felt that the other boys were accepting me as one of them. I would bet that they would think I was strange now. It was worse when I looked at Tom. I could see he felt sorry for me. I also remembered what he told me. I had to stand up to Tammy.

That was hard to do. As soon as we came home, she starting yelling at me.

"Why did you not come straight home?" She asked, " Did you not know that I would be worried about you? You could have been in some accident. A car could have driven over you and you would be dead! Besides all that, why were you playing that dreadful game? Football makes you dirty and it can hurt you. Chrissy never played that game! I do not want you to play it."

Tammy went on and on until I could no longer listen to how good and holy Chrissy was. I shouted at her that I was not Chrissy!

Later when Tammy was cooking, I snuck out and found where she hid my cellphone. I went back to my room and rang to mom.

"Mom" I wept, "Come and get me. I can't live with this woman!"

to be continued

Mother 4

Jonas was happy until his life was turned upside down, Now he does not understand what will happen to him. No one asks him!

Mother 4

I was on the phone begging mom to come and take me home. I no longer wanted to be with this crazy woman. Mom was quiet until she said that I needed to have courage and I would soon be visiting them. There was very little she could do as the judge supported Tammy. Before I could answer Tammy took the phone from me. She screamed and yelled at me, telling me that I was not to contact my mom. I had to get used to my new life here.

I got mad at her and told her that she only wants me because her son was dead. She only wanted me to replace him! This statement made Tammy stand in shock as I ran into my princess room. I sat on the bed holding an old doll. I was trapped in this hell and I honestly did not know what I would do. How would I survive a woman trying to make me into a person I had no wish to be. What would I do if she succeeded? I looked at the big doll I was holding and sighed. I would never have held a doll before, but here I was thinking this doll would comfort me. There was only one answer. Mom was right, I needed to have courage and be true to myself. A person could only make me into someone who I was not if I allowed it.

I fell asleep on my bed.

Tammy came into the room. She sat on my bed and started to brush my hair. This made me cry once again as it was something that mom always did. She spoke in a soft voice and told me that we had a bad start.

"I do miss Chrissy," she admitted, "I can also see that you are not Chrissy. I can also understand that you think I would never want you if Chrissy was alive. I know you miss your old parents. What you do not know is that I love you. I want us to be a happy family. Everything is strange for you, but in time, everything will be good."

She told me that the only reason why she did not want me to contact my old parents is that it would confuse me. She assured me that she did not want me to replace her son. We both had to get to know each other. She finished by praising how beautiful my hair was, and it should not be cut. Then she told me that I should come to the sitting room and see a film with her.

The talk made me feel better until I looked into the mirror. She put my hair in a ponytail and it had a pink elastic holding it. Once again, I looked like a girl. This gave me the impression that she said one thing and did another thing. Could I even trust her? I stayed in my room and held the doll while I looked out at the stars. I knew that this doll was a boy when it first came here, but Tammy made it to a girl. This doll would be my only friend here. I decided that it deserved a name. I decided to name the doll Martin.

The next day, Tammy put out some skin-tight jeans and a belly top. The jeans were cool enough, despite they had some flowers embroidered in them. The top was white, but it showed my belly. This was strange, as I kept on trying to pull it down. Why do girls even want to show their belly? My hair was still in a ponytail.

Tammy was in a good mood when she gave me breakfast. I nearly got mad when she said that I look so pretty. While I was eating breakfast, she gave me a pink pill and told me that it was good for my body. I didn't think about it twice and just swallowed it. I thought that in a few weeks, I would be already visiting mom and Dad. I just had to survive until then.

Needless to say, no one spoke with me at school. They all stared at me as if I was an alien. I heard some whisper that I was a sissy just like Chrissy was. Tom even seemed to avoid me. I was not used to being ignored or teased. It was a form of bullying. I did what I could do. I held my head up high and acted like it did not affect me. The truth was that I was crying inside and I wanted to be invisible, so no one could see how much it hurt. I understood why they were mean. I was dressed like a girl. It made me think if Chrissy was happy. Did he even want to live?

I told Tammy how much I was teased and bullied. She told me I was new at school and people just had to get to know me. This upset me, as I thought she could not see reality and lived in her dream world. I snapped at her and said they thought I was a sissy. I was a boy dressed as a girl! This made Tammy roll her eyes and comment that they were just jealous. I highly doubted that.

I knew that I just had to survive until I went home. So I decided that I would just try and be happy. When I went back to my parents and told them what I had to go through, then they would do everything in their power to keep me at home. They would not let me back to this crazy woman.

I quickly learned that Tammy was a dominant woman that wanted everything her way. I suspected that she was spoiled as a child. I also thought that she wanted to have a daughter, and was disappointed when she had a boy. Besides all that, she was nice and was a good cook. If you did not get on her bad side, she could be very caring. However, she had a huge temper. If I showed any boyish traits, she would get mad at me. I also did not know how much she loved me. At times, I thought that she thought I was Chrissy. After all, she did call me "Chrissy" several times.

Every day started as she put out what clothes I had to wear and she did my hair. I no longer was shocked when I looked in the mirror and could see a girl. I always was holding Martin, my doll that was my only friend. I would put Martin in the best clothes that I could find and praised him for being so brave at being transgender. I would ask Martin if he missed being a boy and did was he even starting to believe that he was a girl? I would hug Martin a lot and promise that I would never bully him.

At breakfast, Tammy would give me the strange tablet. I was only 11 years old, so I never suspected what the tablet was.

I was teased and bullied at school. In a way, I began to understand what transgender children sometimes had to go through. Being called sissy is so negative. It must be so hard for transgender children to accept that they are different. It takes a lot of courage to tell the world that you have the wrong body. It did not help when they only met mean words and were told they were a freak. Why could the world not treat people with respect and share in each other's happiness?

I saw mom standing at the school fence one day. I wanted to run to her and hug her, however, I was so afraid. Tammy warned that if I ever did contact my mother, she would never allow me to go home. Besides that, I wondered if mom even recognised me in girls attire. I lowered my head and walked past her. I knew that this broke Moms' heart and hoped she would forgive me.

I did everything that Tammy asked so she would allow me to visit my parents. She was going one step further every day in turning me to her daughter. She even started putting a small amount of mascara on my eyes. I knew that her goal was achieved when she put a petticoat dress on my bed and told me that I could wear that to Church. I should have screamed and protested, but I just put on a fake smile and did what she wanted to. The trip to Church was the worse experience I ever had. It was so weird to wear a dress. You could feel the air on your legs and it made you feel so... well... so pretty. I was hoping that no one would stare at me and find out I was a boy in a dress. I did hope that they would pray for me.

I now looked like a girl and Tammy told me one day that I should think like a girl. I started to do piano lessons. It was very hard and complicated. The worse thing is that I liked playing the piano.

So now you are asking yourself If I was now transgendered. Did I consider myself a girl and embrace this new life that I had? If I was to answer that, I would shout from the mountain top that the answer is no. I was a boy and I was proud of being a boy. I missed my boy's clothes and I missed football. I missed my friends. I felt so lonely and felt like no one was on my side. To be honest, I felt like Tammy's doll, that she could dress me up the way she wanted.

I asked myself if there were things that I liked. I liked it when people did not know I was a boy and would think that I was pretty. I liked painting and I liked taking care of Martin. I figured that even the most masculine man has a feminine side. It made me think the world would be better without social norms on what boys and girls should dress in or what they should do. We should live in a unisex world where people do what makes them happy, and dress the way they wanted to.

I did what Tammy wanted. I figured it meant less conflict and hoped I would be happy. It was also until I could visit my parents.

This was about to change

To be continued

Mother 5

Justice!

Mother 5

At breakfast, I was doing my act of pleasing Tammy by looking happy and doing as she said. This had worked for the time that I have been living here, although it meant that I was now looking like a girl and living as a girl. I had no friends and everyone thought that I was a sissy. This breakfast would be no different... at least that's what I thought.

Tammy told me that the tablets I was taken were not enough. She had ordered a time with a doctor that will give me a puberty blocker. I had no clue what a puberty blocker was so I innocently asked what it was. Tammy replied that it was a shot that transgenders got to stop puberty. In other words, it would stop the boy hormones from changing my body to a man, so with help of girl hormones, it would look more like a woman. I think I went pale from listening to this and did not reply.

I put Martin, my doll in a bag and the bottle of tablets I got every day. I looked at a picture of Chrissy. There is a time in everyone's life where you must stand up for yourself and say it is now me that will decide. This is especially when someone wants to change my body and has not even asked if I wished to do it. This woman may have been my birth mother, but I now doubted that she loved me. She would not try to change me as much as she tried to.

I was wearing a denim dress and tights. If I went to school, I would have been teased. However, I did not go to school. I started walking and walking. I was going to the one place where I was loved. It was a shame that I did not have my bike, as I nearly had to walk from one end of the city to the other. I had an anxiety attack every time I saw a red car, thinking it was Tammy. I was also on the lookout for any police car that wanted to take me back to that woman.

The trip across town took me hours, and I was exhausted when I finally arrived at my old house. Mom opened the door was shocked to see me. She had so many questions. Why was I there? Did I run away? Then she asked why on earth was I wearing a dress? I had to ask mom to let me in, so I could explain everything.

Dad was drinking tea and I had to laugh when he asked why the hell was I wearing a dress? Mom made some warm chocolate and I told them everything that happened at Tammy's house. I told them that she now wanted a doctor to stop puberty. I broke down to tears and begged my parents not to send me back.

Mom hugged me and suggested I go to my old bedroom. There were still some of my clothes there. I could once again dress as I wanted. I could be a boy and not look like a girl. I went to my bedroom and found old jeans and a t-shirt and boxer shorts. I let my hair hang down and looked in the mirror. I wanted to smile, as the boy I used to be was back. However, I could not smile, as I was worried about what would happen to me. I was also confused why it felt so wrong dressing as a boy again.

When I came down the stairs, I heard Dad speak on the phone,

"Jonas is here," he was saying in a mad voice, "He will also be staying here... I have already contacted the police, How can you force a boy to be a girl?.... Happy? If Jonas was happy, he would not come here in tears. I do not understand how you can force a boy to wear girls clothes and live as a girl. I bet he did not even know the tablets you were giving him was not estrogen hormones... Listen if you have anything to say, then you tell your lawyer to contact our lawyer"

I entered the room and sat on the sofa. I did not like that my Dad argued with Tammy. I did not like that they kept asking me questions about what it was like living with her. I just hugged Martin thinking we both escaped and were safe. I did not want to go back. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were.

A woman from Child Welfare visited us. Mom told me that she knew that I did not want to talk about living with Tammy, but this woman had to know. So once again I told her what life was like with Tammy and why I ran away. She wrote down a lot of notes and asked questions like did she starve me or hit me as well. I think she was disappointed when I said that Tammy was a good cook.

Then the social worker looked at my doll and asked why I was holding a doll. I explained that the doll was a boy doll but turned into a girl doll. Martin (the doll) was my friend and helped me when I needed someone to talk to. Now Martin was safe with me. The social worker wrote more notes and told me that Martin was still wearing a dress. She asked me if I thought I was transgendered. I whispered that I was a boy. I did not tell her that it felt wrong to wear boy clothes again.

Mom told me that I should go to my bedroom and let the adults talk. In a way, I was happy as I was tired of talking about my life with Tammy. I sat on my bed and wondered what I would do if I was sent back to her.

Mom came in later and sat beside me. She brushed her hair and explained that an agreement was made. She told me that I would not be returning to Tammy and I would live here, just as I always have done. For the first time in a long time, I had a genuine smile on my face and told mom that I was so happy. Mom smiled and said that it is not over yet. At least we were together again.

The next day, I was watching the local news when a reporter talked about Tammy. She was arrested for child abuse. It was not just on TV, it was in the newspapers. Over the next few days my story on being forced to dress as a girl and live as one would be discussed in the media. Even the talk shows were discussing it. It would be the second time in my life that I was in the media. They were saying that what Tammy has done was child abuse, but despite they did not use my name, I felt like the media was adding to it. Despite mom and dad tried to distract me from the media, I could not escape it all.

Even at school, I was asked so many questions. There was one question that the media and school kept on asking. Why did I allow Tammy to treat me like a sissy? Why would I allow anyone to put a dress on me? This was a hard question to answer. I could not answer it myself. At school, they would ask if a part of me was transgender. I would say that I was not. I was a boy and had to interest in being a girl.

I started playing football again, and this helped everyone at school to stop talking about transgender things. I also cut my hair which stopped any talk about me secretly enjoying what Tammy did to me. I time the media and school stopped asking me about things and things were getting back to the way they were before. The thing was that people thought that I was brave to escape, and they thought I was the same as I was.

The fact is that I was not the same as I was. Some of my best friends could see this. Some told me they would support me in which way they could, even if this meant that I came to school as a transgender. This made me feel lucky that I had good friends.

Mom told me that a boy from the other school rang and asked me to ring back. Tom was the boy who befriended me when I moved in with Tammy and ignored me when I came dressed as a girl. I did not ring back. I know I should forgive people, but when he ignored me, he showed me what kind of person he was. I could not trust him. I did not need someone like him in my life.

Tammy's court case came and luckily I did not have to testify. She was of course found guilty and she would not have custody of me or have any right to see me. She was also told to get psychiatric help. Many were disappointed that she did not go to jail. However, the judge took pity on her because she lost so much and the big punishment was that she was not allowed to see me. This made me feel relieved. I know that what she has done to me was wrong. However, I still cared about her and it was a bit sad I would never see her again.

Mom and Dad said that her verdict was the end of the nightmare and life went back to normal. I could see that mom and dad just tried to live as this never had happened. I spent my days at school and playing football, and mom read stories for me at night time.

I would hold Martin (my doll) while I was at home and this was something that annoyed my parents, as it reminded them about Tammy. I also was a pain when we had to buy clothes. I wanted unisex clothes that could be worn by boys and girls. I had no problem wearing pink or long shorts that looked like a skirt. I even persuaded mom to buy me tights. I did not consider any of this weird. I did not consider it transgender. I just liked looking pretty.

It was not until I asked mom to learn how to play the piano that she asked me was I transgender. I told her that I was not and I did not want to discuss it. Still, it worried me as to why she asked me.

About 6 months after the verdict, I was in the park after playing football with my friends. I was walking home when I saw her on a bench writing something.

It was Tammy!

To be continued... the last chapter!

Mother 6

The Final Chapter!

Peace

I could not believe that Tammy was sitting in the park. I should have walked past her and remember all that she has done to me and wanted to do with me. I could not do that. I had to confront her and in a way let her know how I feel. My experience with her was a nightmare and it changed me in ways I yet did not know. I needed to forgive Tammy so that we both could move on with our lives.

Tammy looked surprised when she saw me and informed me that she was not allowed to be with me. I shrugged my shoulders and told her that no one told me I could not be with her. So I sat on the bench next to her. She stopped writing in her pad and there was an awkward silence,

"I was just at the psychiatrist's," she said, "I usually come here to write down my thoughts after I meet with her. It is hard for me to see the psychiatrist as it is slowly clearing the fog that I have been in. It's hard for me to accept that I have been in so much pain, that I caused so much pain. I am so sorry for what I have done to you and what I put you through. I hope that someday you will forgive me,"

Tammy told me that she lost the two people that mattered the most in her life. She lost her husband who was my birth dad. She knew him since they were both children. When he died, a part of her died with him. Then she talked about Chrissy that told her that he was a girl when he was only 6. Tammy said that she tried to support Chrissy as much as possible and started raising Chrissy as a girl. Despite that Chrissy was bullied and teased at school. "she" was a happy child with a heart of gold. When Chrissy was killed in a car crash, then Tammy in a way lost her mind.

When she found out that Chrissy was switched at birth, she did not care. Chrissy was her child. Tammy also knew that it was wrong to seek custody of me, but she felt so alone and was being selfish that she wanted me. When I came to live with her, she could only think of Chrissy and wanted to change me to a new version of Chrissy.

Tammy could not explain anymore and started crying. I always hated when someone cries. I could see that this was no act and this woman was in a lot of pain. I put my hand on her hand and whispered that we had the same hands.

I never told mom or dad that I spoke with Tammy. I met her every week at the park after she was at the shrinks. I started to see who the real Tammy was and she started to see who I was. I forgave her for what she had done, which was such a great feeling of freedom. Bitterness is like a poison that makes everyone unhappy, where forgiveness gives new opportunities. I would never consider Tammy as my mother and had no wish to live with her. This being said, we had the same blood running through us. I wanted Tammy in my life.

Yes, I do know this makes me sound as crazy as Tammy.

I did finally tell mom and dad that I have been meeting Tammy. This upset them and they could not understand why I would want to meet a person that hurt me so much. When I told them Tammy's story, they promised me they will try to understand it. I told them how good it felt to forgive her and that a person could change. Dad thought that I was suffering from a form of Stockholm syndrome.

Later on, that night, when I asked mom if I could continue meeting Tammy in the park, mom started crying and told me that I already had a mom. I hugged mom and told her she was right, Tammy could never replace the mom that I had. She could never be my mother.

" I cannot stop you from seeing her," mom said, "But do not let her influence you or change you. Do not let her manipulate you."

A few weeks went by and I tried being happy. I still had a close relationship with mom and dad, and there was once again laughter and smiles in the house. I had friends at school and still loved playing football. I enjoyed meeting Tammy in the park, especially when she could accept that I was a boy.

Despite this, there was a new side to me. I started wearing unisex clothes and often wore tights under my clothes. I was always holding Martin when I was home and sometimes I even put on the denim dress that mom thought that she hid.

One of my best friends noticed that I changed. He told me I was more girly and wondered if I was transgendered or gay. I nearly wanted to cry when I heard that. I did not want to be known as a gay boy or transgendered. I did not want to be seen as a girl and feel so alone the way that I felt before.

Mom could see that I was sad, and asked if I wanted to speak. I asked her who I was? Was I gay? Mom responded that I would soon be a teenager, and this will be a question I would ask myself all the time. Teenagers have to find their identity and how they fit in society. Mom hugged me saying that I can be a football player, gay, transgendered or even a goth. The main thing was that I was happy and that I do not hurt others.

"I can tell you who I see you as" she finished, "You are a sensitive child with a heart of gold. You teach your dad things every day, like how to be compassionate and have a love of living. You are a gem!"

A few days later I told mom and dad that we need to have a serious talk.

"I have been thinking who I am," I said, "My experience with Tammy changed me. I did not like being considered a girl. However, I did like looking pretty and I even liked some of the clothes. I also learned how to like things such as dolls, painting and playing the piano. Since I came home, I have been worried if she brainwashed me into being transgender. I have concluded that I am a boy and have no wish to be a girl. I am not transgendered. This being said, I am in touch with my feminine side. I am not afraid to wear pink or even tights. I am not afraid to look pretty and do things other boys do not dare. I am proud to be a boy and I am the luckiest boy in the world. I have two parents that love me so much and you can never be replaced. As for being gay, time will tell if this is true. I have learned that a friend is not a true friend if they do not accept who you are!"

Mom and Dad hugged me and told me how proud they were of me and how much they loved me. Dad said they also have been thinking and have a surprise for me.

I had to wait twenty minutes for the surprise. The doorbell rang and Dad said they have invited someone for dinner.

Tammy was at the door.

The end