Fortunately, Chris got an invitation to a party in the mail.
Unfortunately, the party was a fancy ball and Chris had no clothes.
Fortunately, Chris knew a shop owner.
Unfortunately, the shop owner only sold dresses.
Fortunately, there were lots of pretty choices.
Unfortunately, Chris was not a girl.
Fortunately, the shop owner sold shapewear.
Unfortunately, the shapewear was uncomfortable.
Fortunately, Chris was now shaped like a girl.
Unfortunately, Chris still had a boy's face.
Fortunately, the shop next door was a beauty shop.
Unfortunately, the shop had no free appointments.
Fortunately, an appointment was canceled.
Unfortunately, Chris got a body wax.
Fortunately, Chris was very pretty in makeup.
Unfortunately, his hair was not pretty.
Fortunately, after another hour Chris had very pretty hair.
Unfortunately, he had no shoes
Fortunately, The next shop down was a shoe shop.
Unfortunately, Chris did not know how to walk in pumps.
Fortunately, His friend the shop owner was a great coach.
Unfortunately, he still needed a date.
Fortunately, his friend the shop owner looked smart in a tux.
Unfortunately, his car did not work.
Fortunately, They called Uber.
Unfortunately, the Uber driver got lost.
Fortunately, Chris had a navigation app
Unfortunately, they were late to the party.
Fortunately, everyone was waiting for them because
Fortunately, the party was for Chris because
Fortunately, it was his coming out day party.

With apologies to Remy Charlip https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/349389.Fortunately

I thought I was gay.

Seriously. I though that I was gay.

I mean who knew? I had friends that were gay. I hung out most
weekends with a coworker who I found out was gay. We drank and ate and
watched movies.

I was in high school. He was maybe twenty. We worked in the same
factory. We were friends. We had a lot of fun. Drinking, watching
movies. Going out some times.

I would bring my girlfriend. Over to his place. My first serious
girlfriend. I gave her my virginity. She and I kinda went at it like
rabbits. She was on the pill. I was seventeen, I guess. So was she.
I guess I was her second. Serial monogamy and all that.

My school friends used to hang out in the park or in Trish's basement.
We all drank and watched movies. And smoked pot. We had a lot of fun.

We got hassled by the cops a few times. But that was usually not a
big deal. We were all middle class white kids. We were usually polite
and we moved along when the cops said to move along.

Rick was my friend from work. He did not have many friends here in
town. He moved to the "Big City" of Denver from Cheyenne for this job.
So we pulled him into our rotating group of friends. Mike and Dean and
Larry, and Trish, and Megan and Liza, and I. And a few others from time
to time. We hung out. We went to movies. We smoked pot and drank beer.
We had a lot of fun.

So Trish and I broke up. I guess I was drunk I guess that I thought we
shared more than she thought we shared. When she found me dressed up
in one of her Gunne Sax dresses she kinda blew.

"What the fuck are you doing Chris!" she said.
"Are you gay?" she asked.
We had fucked just the day before.

I had this need to wear dresses. I did not understand it. My idle thoughts
were always wrapped up in making myself look as girly, as feminine,
as beautiful as possible. I'd been doing it since I was maybe seven
or eight. Trish did not get it. Trish and I broke up. Eventually she
married Dean.

Rich and I started hanging out a whole lot more. We did not spend as
much time with my school friends any more. It was just us. Two
Amigos. I think he saw him self as Chevy Chase. I was fine being Steve
Martin. No one wanted to be Martin Short.

Rich and I spent lots of time together. We did lots of drugs. Speed.
LSD, pot, coke, probably PCP. And booze. We had a lot of fun.
We started going to gay bars. We started hanging out with a new group
of friends. Way more flamboyant. Definitely gay. Definitely fun.

Rich and I would jack each other off. We did not do any butt
games or face games. We stuck to hand jobs. Showers, lube, body rubs.
Focused massage work. More coke. More dance clubs. We had fun.

I wanted to try drag. I really wanted to try drag. We went to some
drag shows. I tried making friends with the headliner. She wanted
nothing to do with me. I started to hang out with some of the other
girls. I really wanted to try drag.

I did a few shows as a chorus girl. I waited tables at the
club. Rich and I still hung out. I got better. I got pretty good.
I got to where Rich and I could go out to normie clubs. To where we
could have some fun. I was Goldie he was Chevy. Kinda tall for
Goldie. But bubbly and fun.

I got picked up for soliciting. I was not soliciting. I was just
walking home. But I was in my club dress and I was walking past that one
place where the boys hung out. I was way more girl than most of them.

I was maybe nineteen. Rich was twenty one. I was waking to his place
to make up after we had argued. He liked boys. He did not want to
date a girl. I loved being a girl. I love my dick but I love being a
girl too.

I got picked up for soliciting. I was not soliciting. I was just
walking home. I was going to walk to my dad's house. I had shoes but they
were crap for walking in. I was pretty drunk and I came on to the
cop. You know. The kind of come on that'll get a girl a drink in a
bar. The cop did not like that any more that rich did when I danced
with other men. He did not like me flirting with other men.

I was taken to the drunk tank. I was put in a cell by myself in the men's
jail. I called my dad. He had an answering machine. He only checked
it on week days. I was arraigned the next morning. I was going to be
brought in front of the magistrate. No judge for me.

My step mom was a magistrate in that county. I guess she saw my name on
the list. She came to visit me in my cell. I was still wearing my tight
dress and heels. My makeup was all messed and my wig was in my hands.

"Is this what you have been up to?" she asked.

"Rich and I broke up." I said. "He likes boys."

"He does not like you like this?" she asked.

"I don't know. I don't know." I said. I cried.

"Are you gay?" she asked.

"I don't think so." I answered.

OK. I'll tell you another story about my sisters and me. This one was back when both my sisters were in scouts and I had dropped out.

I had dropped out of boy scouts. Cub scouts actually. I guess that I was just not the kind of kid that was going to put up with even that level of military discipline. Besides all the boys in my pack were the bullies that picked on me at school.

In our pack our den mother was the mom of the biggest bully. So I did not last long in that pack. That meant that when my sisters were at their girl scout meetings I did not have anywhere else to go. I was not going to go to my boy scout meeting just to be picked on. And mom would not leave me home alone. So I ended up at the girl scout meetings,

My mom was one of the leaders for my sister's girl scout troop. Both my sisters were girl scouts. My little sister was named Amelia, I was older by 18 months. I was the middle kid. Cara was a year and a half years older than me.

Amelia was a Brownie and Cara was a Cadette scout. I was the same age as the Junior scouts in their pack.

I was not a girl. So I was not a girl scout, but since I did not have a boy scout meeting to go to, I ended up going to a lot of girl scout meetings. I ended up there because that's where my mom and sisters were going. I ended up going to all the girl scout meetings that mom went to. Which was all of them. She and Mrs. K. were the two leaders. Mrs K was Sara's mom. Neither Mom nor I ever missed a meeting. Even when my sisters had somewhere else to be Mom went to the scout meeting and so did I.

At first I whined a lot, but after a while I guess I resigned myself to it. I guess it was better than the boy scout meetings. I was kind of uncomfortable at the girl scout meetings at first. I moped around and made a nuisance of my self, I guess.

That's what mom said. "Stop making such a nuisance of your self."

I was the only boy at these meetings, I was kinda on my own. At least at first. I started out by sitting off to the side and reading. It took a while but eventually I got conscripted into helping out with various things. Setting up, taking down. Setting out cookies and punch. Gopher tasks. You know. Go for this, go for that? Gopher.

One of the Senior scouts would say, "Hey Gopher! Go get some more cups." or one of the Cadette scouts would say, "We're out of glue. There's more in the closet. Gopher! Go get it for me?" They thought it was funny.

Well they thought it was funny. I tried to rebel. I mean they could at least use my name. But when I tried to stand my ground mom took the scouts side. She said, "We all get nick names, sometimes." So I was called "Gopher" by everyone.

Of course a lot of the girls had nick names too. They would call each other by them. There was 'Birdie' and 'Chickie' and 'Minnie' and 'Pepper' and 'Kitty', and a lot more. Plus all the plain old short forms. Like 'Ann' for Annabelle and 'Re' for Rene. And there were two Jennifers. One was 'Jen' and the other was 'Fer'. I guess that my nick name could have been worse than 'Gopher'.

Mom said, "It shows they like you." I guess that kinda made sense. Kinda. It was still embarrassing. I mean why not a cool nick name like 'Spike', or 'Rocky"? I had to be "Gopher." This was a school based troop. They met in the junior high school building and all the girls were from my school or from this junior high or the high school I would be going in a few years. It seemed that the girls all knew me. Even if I did not know all their names at first.

I slowly got more involved in helping out. Mom said I had to help out when I was asked and where I could. She said, "Make yourself useful. Help out when you can and when you are asked." It was better than sitting in a corner reading I guess.

That's when I started with setting up before and cleaning up after. Eventually I was helping with some of the activities, craft and merit projects the girls my age were doing. Beading and basket making and other craft projects like that. Some girls were doing a car care badge. I got to help some on that too.

I even learned the girl scout songs. I learned all of them in time. The troop sung at least one every meeting. Sometimes in the middle of their groups activities someone would start singing and eventually the whole room was singing along. It was kind of fun. I liked it and Wendy said I had a nice voice.

One time Sara handed a bunch of merit badges and a sash. "Sew these on for me, Gopher." She said. She was kinda bossy but not as bad as the bullies at school. I did not know what to do so one of the Cadette scouts, Ann I think, sat with me and showed me how to sew the badges to the sash. She would pin it down in the right place then I would stitch all the way around the whole patch. I had to use a thimble to push the needle up through the sash and the badge. I guess I was pretty good at it because in a couple weeks most of the girls were handing me their badges and sashes to sew. I had sewn a couple dozen before the leaders discovered what was happening.

When the leaders finally figured out this was happening they stopped it.

"You girls need to take care of your own sashes." My mom said. "Don't exploit Gopher's generosity." Now even my mom was calling me "Gopher". Sheesh!

The girls sewed their own badges from then on. But I was not totally out of it.

My Mom handed me a sash and all the patches and insignia it needed. She told me to sew all the patches and badges in the right places. She just gave me the Junior scout book and showed me the page on how all the patches had to be sewn on and said. "Finish this before the next advancement ceremony."

I finished all the patches including the troop location and numbers. This was troop 431. There was a Junior Aide award, four signs badges. Plus a Craft and Service merit badge and one for 'songster' and 'dabbler'. It took me three meetings to get all that done. I just kept my sewing project in mom's scout leader box and worked on it during activity time at our meetings.

When I showed my work to Mrs K, the other troop leader, she said that I did a good job on my sash. She told me to be sure to bring my sash to the advancement ceremony next week. I was not quite sure what she meant by "my sash". But since I was going to be there anyway I just put that sash back in mom's leader box.

Back in those days girl scouts all wore their formal uniforms to the advancement ceremonies and to special occasions and outings. Brownie wore a brown dress with the beanie hat. The Junior scouts wore a green dress with a barrette. Cadette scouts wore a skirt and blouse also with the same barrette. Senior scouts wore a skirt and jacket combo with an envelope style hat. All with gloves. They all did their hair stylishly. The older girls even wore appropriate jewelry and some makeup. Back in those days almost no one had pierced earrings so all the earrings were screw back or clips.

It was the advancement ceremony that next week and I was there sitting in the back as I usually did when they went through all the ceremony stuff. All the girls were in their uniforms. I had to say that I thought they looked smart and well turned out. Especially the Cadette and Senior scouts. There was something about a girl in uniform. I really liked how crisp and sharp their freshly ironed skirts blouses and jackets looked. All the scouts were well turned out for these events but I liked the older girls best.

Mom had made me dress up for the advancement ceremony too, I had to wear my best polyester dress pants, a freshly ironed white button collar shirt and my dress shoes. Loafers.

Like normal I helped setting up chairs and getting the bridge for crossover ready. As well as putting the troop, state and US flags in their stands. Then I took my normal place in the back of the room.

When the meeting started the girls did all the normal meeting stuff. Flag ceremony, the pledges, the oath and promise. I had to stand and say the pledge of allegiance with everyone else and the scout pledge too. I started getting good at the other things like the oath and promise parts.

Then Mrs K started the awards part. She called each girl that adanced or earned merit badges or other awards. She called each one up front and said a few words. Then giving each girl her badge and award certificate. There was one brownie crossing over to Junior and one Junior crossing over to Cadette scout at that meeting too. At the very end of the meeting Mrs. K. called my name.

"Chris?" She called again. "Are you here?"

She could see me sitting right there.

"Here!" I said and stood up when she waved a hand signal indicating I should.

"Please join me up front here." She said.

I looked around and saw my mom nod so I kind of sheepishly walked up the middle isle to stand in front of the group. Looking around I saw as much confusion among the girls as I felt.

"Christopher. Stand tall. Right here." Mrs. K. started. "You have had perfect attendance since the beginning of the school year."

I kinda gave her a side glance. Of course I had perfect attendance. I was there with my mom every time. Even my sisters had missed some meetings because of other events, but I was at every meeting. But I knew not to say anything.

"You have also demonstrated scout spirit and service to our troop by helping out with sewing tasks and joining in for setup and clean-up for each meeting. And you step in when you see a way to help. Plus you have learned the oath and promise and you can sing all the songs."

I nodded again.

"Therefor it is my honor to award you the participation pin for this year."

I put out my hand.

"But first you will need a place to pin it." She said. She nodded to my sister Cara who was standing just to one side.

Cara looked very smart in her dark green skirt and white blouse of the Junior scout uniform. She had her sash on. It was almost covered in merit badges. A couple of which I had sewn on. She had on her black low pumps with hose. Her gloves, green tie and barrette were all very prim and proper.

She walked over to me and said. "On behalf of the whole troop, It is with very great pleasure that I welcome you as a member of our troop and grant you the rank of Junior scout."

With that she unfolded the sash I had sewn all those patches on and hung it over my shoulder.

Another Cadette scout, Jessica, 'Jes', stepped forward and said. "For your help this year, troop 431 awards you with this participation pin."

She then pinned it to my sash.

Then mom stepped forward and placed a scout barrette on my head.

"Welcome to the troop 'Gopher'." Mom said and pushed a bit of loose hair behind my ear.

I was kind of shocked. These girls were being so nice to me. Were they making fun of me? No, they would not do that. I was just making the best of mom not letting me stay home alone. That's why I was at all the meetings. I did not really want to be a girl scout. I was a boy. Boys can't be girl scouts!. I started to have tears build in my eyes. I was starting to work up to a tantrum. At that point mom caught my eye and gave me the "Not now mister. Not if you know what is good for you." look. I put a lid on my anger and frustration. Soon it drained away.

Mrs. K. said to the troop. "Please help me welcome Chris as a new member of our troop with a round of applause. I know you will all make him feel welcome."

There was a round of applause. The girls all stood and clapped loudly. My anger and frustration were gone. They had been replaced by a feeling of pride and membership. When the clapping calmed down my mom said "I know you all will make Chris welcome and extend your friendship to him. Now it is time for us to close our meeting and have our reception. Color guard? Please close our meeting."

With that I went to sat back down. Wendy, a girl from my class, was sitting in the front row. She waved and indicated that I should sit next to her. She gave me a little one arm hug when I sat. That was surprisingly comforting. So that's where I stayed for the closing ceremony. I had pretty much calmed myself and had again resigned myself to my fate. At least for now. I was a girl scout.

As always there were cookies and punch after the advancement ceremony. I had set it up myself. We always have all the normal girl scout cookies. Thin mints were the most popular. I still like trefoils better.

The girls all greeted each other. They gave out hugs and complemented to everyone who had earned awards. The group of Junior scouts had formed with a few of the more experienced Juniors and were all complementing each other on their awards and what was involved in earning our merit badges.

Wendy said, "Lets join in with the other Junior scouts over there."

They were all in their green button up dresses with the bow tie and barrette. Like them I had my sash and barrette. My loafers even looked like the ones some of them were wearing. One of the other girls, 'Bunnie' was her nick name, game me a quick hug and a kiss on my cheek. Just like she did the other Junior scouts in the troop. I got a number of other hugs and congratulations that day.

I was surprised to be welcomed with congratulations and hugs. I had been kind of an outsider up till then, Now I was a member of the troop. It was fun to have such good friends. It seemed like just a few seconds later that it was time to clean up and head home.

All in all a surprising meeting for me. It felt good to be welcomed. Even if it was a bit weird for me to be a "girl scout".

---

It was a years later that I crossed over from Junior scout to Cadette. Yes I was still with the troop. My sisters had all advanced ahead of me. Amelia was a Junior now and she was quite ambitious. She would have all the Junior merit badges and awards before the end of the year.

I was quite surprised at all that had happened in that year. I had pretty much dedicated myself to be the best scout I could be. Girl scouts was so much more fun than boy scouts had ever been. I loved working on merit badges and I had learned a lot from the girls in the troop.

I had great friends in scouting. When we went to camp that first summer no one even questioned me being there. They invited me to join in all the activities and we all earned quite a few awards and badges. I had to sleep in my mom's tent at night but other than that I was just another scout among a hundred or so scouts at camp. It was pretty fun.

I even wore pretty much what they wore. Shorts and a scouting activity shirt with hikers or skimmers with a head band or maybe a straw hat or a scarf to help keep the sun off.

I did have to wear my formal uniform for evening ceremonies. But I was used to it by then. The first time I wore it was for cookie sales. I can tell you about that day some other time. Mom said I was a bit of a handful that day but I did eventually settle into my normal scouting character and earned my first cookie pin.

All us scouts wore our formal uniforms to evening ceremony at camp. Just like we did for advancement ceremonies and for our outings at home. Mom had been letting me grow my hair, which was kinda odd I guess, but lots of boys had longer hair now that the Beatles and the Monkeys were so popular.

I had earned lots of awards and badges. Including dressmaker, gardener, cook, traveler, homemaker, student, scientist and my cookie pins and activity badges. And I was working to earn my gold award before I advanced to Senior scout.

Wendy had become my best friends. She and her sister Nancy were lots of fun to hang out with. But I can write about spending time with them later too.

I hung out with Wendy and Sara and the rest of the girls at school. I guess that got me a few harsh words from some of the bullies. Hanging out with girls seemed to bother them. The last time I used the boy's lavatory they beat me up and gave me a swirly. That soon stopped when the girls started keeping me in their ranks. No would ever mess with four or five scouts all together. Even if I was one of them. The bullies stopped bugging me when I was surrounded by all my scout friends.

So I was ready to crossover from Junior scout to Cadette. I could hardy wait to wear my new Cadette uniform for our next outing. We were going to the air and space museum next week. I was so excited. I want to be an aerospace engineer when I grow up. I had already done all the science and engineering badges girl scouts offered.

I was in my formal Junior scout uniform. Actually it was a hand me down from Cara. I had on argyle socks and my penny loafers with a penny in them. My green scout dress was over a full nylon slip. That helped give my dress the right profile, my mom had said. I just liked the smooth nylon fabric. I had ironed my dress myself this afternoon so it was crisp and wrinkle free.

Mom had even bought me some special control panties that helped keep my extra parts invisible when I wore my uniform. I had taken to wearing them for most scout activities. When I forgot Wendy, or one of the other girls would remind me that I was "lumpy". I quickly learned to avoid that. I wanted to stand out, but only for good reasons.

I had learned so much from Wendy and Sara and the rest of the girls. I had internalized lots of it by now. I knew how to stand and how to sit and walk and even dance. I wanted to fit in and so I watched and I learned and I had practiced. Of course my sisters were only too happy to help out with little corrections and instructions when I was in uniform and some other play times too. I wanted to be a good scout. Mrs K. had told me "I was an asset to the troop," and that "We're lucky to have you." That made me feel good.

Mom let me wear some green and gold trefoil earrings. My ears were mostly covered by my hair by now. But if I tilted my head or flipped my hair they flashed Today she had curled my hair for me with the hair irons giving me smooth, shiny hair with a flip at my cheek. Amelia said I looked cute.

Normally my hair was pretty curly and I had taken to wearing a head band or a bandanna to keep it tamed.

I wore my sash and my tie. My barrette was pinned at a little bit of an angle. If I was careful and "ladylike" it would stay where it was pined.

I had my gloves buttoned and my hands placed in my lap with my ankles crossed under my chair as I waited patiently for my turn to be called up to crossover the little wooden bridge and join the Cadette scouts. Wendy and Sara were a month older than me and had crossed over the previous ceremony.

I was excited and proud to be crossing over today. I knew that being the best scout I could be was my number one goal for today.

== One ==

Olive was not really my cousin. But since we had been babies, she had been around. Our moms are good friends, and once a week or so, they would come over to our house, or we would go over to theirs.

When she came over to ours, our mothers would sit in the kitchen and talk for hours. Leaving Olive and me plenty of time to get into trouble. We mostly played my games when she was here. We did not really get into too much trouble. But that's what Mom called it. Getting into trouble.

My Dad, I call him Papa, was not around a lot of the time. He was a salesman for a tech company. He ended up spending lots of time overseas and on the road.

I did not have any brothers or sisters at home. I had two older sisters who were out of the house now. It was kind of like two families, I guess. Anne and Carrie were 12 and 8 years older than me. Anne had her own family now and had moved to Amsterdam. Carrie was in college, and we only saw her on some long weekends.

I was turning 14 this year, and so I would be a freshman at high school in the fall. My "cousin" Olive was the same grade as me, but she was born in February, and I was born in June. I suppose that, technically, that made her older than me. That was her favorite joke. Her favorite joke was that I was her "little cousin". That got on my nerves because I was only half an inch shorter, and she weighed only a pound more than me last time we compared on the bathroom scale.

Anyway, our moms were busy with their conversation, so Olive and I were at loose ends. She did not want to play Lego with me, and it was after labor day, so the pool was closed even though it was hot out. I was building a spaceship out of Lego. She was messing with her cellphone.

It seemed like she was getting more girly now. She usually came over in shorts and a t-shirt, but today she was wearing a yellow sundress and sandals. She also had her hair hanging loose behind a headband that matched her dress. I guess that I had started noticing things like that. She even had earrings.

I guess she noticed me staring at her ears. "What are you looking at?" She asked.

"You are wearing earrings," I said.

"Do you like my earrings?" She asked. She flipped her hair back so I could see them better.

"I don't think I've ever seen you wear earrings before," I said. "That's all."

"They're from a set I got from my grandma for my birthday," she said while digging through her backpack. "Grandma thinks I need to behave more like a lady now that I'm 14. See?"

She pulled an envelope out of her backpack, then pulled a card out of the envelope. It had about ten pairs of earrings on it.

"They are held on by magnets. See?" She said as she pulled one off and snapped it back together.

"That's pretty neat!" I said. I was always interested in things that seemed scientific, and magnets were definitely scientific. Even when they were on earrings.

Olive picked one off the card and handed it to me. She gave me the back too. I snapped them together in my hand and noticed that the two halves were pretty hard to separate. "That's pretty cool, but they're not strong enough to hold through my hand though," I said after trying to get the butterfly earring to stick through my hand.

"No. They pretty much need to be on your earlobes to stick," she said. "Here, let me show you."

She took the other one from the pair and put the two halves on my earlobe. "Hay!" That pinches," I exclaimed.

"Are you still a baby?" She asked me.

"No!" I asserted.

She took the other one from the pair out of my hand. They were chrome butterflies with some cut-out wing detail. She snapped that one on my other earlobe.

"Ouch! That pinched." I yelped.

"You are a little baby," she said. "I knew it. My little baby cousin Kit."

I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Sure, that's real mature," she jibed. Then she took her phone back out of her purse, and started checking texts from her friends or something.

I pulled one of the earrings off my ear and let it snap together. Eventually, I got tired of messing with the earrings and went back to building the Lego spaceship I was working on. Olive curled up in the easy chair on the other side of the playroom pretty much occupied herself with her phone.

A bit later, her mom yelled out, and we went back upstairs. It turned out that it was time to go. Olive packed up her things and she and Aunt Kay took off.

"Did you and Olive have fun today?" My mom asked. "I guess so," I said. "I mostly played Lego, and she played with her phone."

"It looks like you shared a little bit of time together," Mom said.

"Hum?" I mumbled.

"Those are cute butterflies you are wearing," she said. "Oh! I forgot I had them on. They're magnetic! See?" I said as I pulled one off and showed her.

"That is kind of neat. You can wear them if you want to," Mom said. "That's okay," I said. I took them off and put them in my pocket. "Help me remember to give them back to Olive next time we go over there."

"All right," Mom said.

== Two ==

It was a couple weeks later we were over at Aunt Kay's house. Again Olive and I were at loose ends. Mom and Aunt Kay were deep in conversation.

"Kit, What do you want to do?" Everyone called me Kit. It was short for "Christopher." Like Kit Carson the frontiersman

"Kit, What do you want to do?" Olive asked.

Now that Olive was fourteen her mom let her go to to the rec center on her own. Olive's dad was a dentist. Today was Saturday, so he was off golfing or something, I guess. My dad was still in Taiwan, negotiating some deal or other, but he was supposed to be home today. We were going to get him later at the airport.

As I said, Olive and I were at loose ends. That's the way my mom would say it, anyway. "You seem to be at loose ends Kit. I can find something for you to do," was usually my clue to find something, or I'd end up with a dust rag or a broom in my hands.

Olive's mom is Aunt Kay, but not really my Aunt, just like Olive was not really my cousin. Anyway, Mom and Aunt Kay had been friends forever, I guess. They grew up together and stayed in touch. They had been in each other’s weddings and stuff too.

Aunt Kay was a seamstress and did a lot of custom sewing for different people. And some theater groups too. Her sewing room was on the next to the the playroom.

"I remembered to bring back the earrings you left at my house," I said as I fished them out of my pocket.

"They're yours since you wore them. You can keep them," Olive insisted with a little disgust in her voice.

"What?" I asked.

"Have they been in your pockets this whole time?" She asked.

"Yeah. So?" I said.

"Boys!" She sighed with the same amount of exasperation as she had disgust before. "Just keep them. I wouldn't want them anymore."

"What am I going to do with them?" I asked.

"Whatever you want," she said. "They are yours now. Why don't you wear them? They're cute on you."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because they're yours, and they look cute on you," she teased.

"I don't want to be cute," I shot back.

"You are already cute, little cousin."

I stuck my tongue out at her.

"See? Mature as ever," she said.

"I'm as mature as you," I said.

"Are not!"

"Am so!"

"Are Not!"

"AM SO!"

"ARE NOT!"

"I AM JUST AS MATURE AS YOU!" I yelled.

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS," Olive yelled back.

"DO TOO!" I said emphatically.

"DO NOT," Olive yelled back pointedly.

"DO TOO!" I yelled.

"KIDS! Kids! What's all the yelling?" It was my mom stepping into the playroom.

I guess we got pretty loud.

"Christopher, you go over there and sit down till you are willing to behave," My mom said.

"Olive, you don't have to encourage him. You're mature enough to keep your cool. Tell me what happened," said Aunt Kay,

Olive gave her testimony. She left out the part where she wanted me to wear the earrings.

"Chris, come on back over here. You and Olive can find something you both can do together. Since we are at Olive's house, she gets to pick what you two do. Okay?" My mom set the rules. "Go ride bikes over to the shops or something."

"Play nicely and don't fight," that was Aunt Kay's addition to the rules. "What's gotten into you two today?"

With that, they both left us again. "I'm in charge, little cousin," Olive said.

I just said "Harrumph" and sat there with my arms crossed.

"Let’s ride bikes over to the park," she said. "You can ride my new one." She added in that sing song voice some people use make things sound tempting.

"You only have girls bikes," I said.

There were two bikes in her garage. One was her "new". That one had a banana seat and a basket in the front. The other was her "old" bike. That one was a Strawberry Shortcake bike with streamers and even more girly than her new one. It was a bit dirty and worn with some of the streamers broken off and some rust

"I'm not riding your bike," I said. "It's too girly."

"Play dress up with me then," she said.

I still just sat there.

"Here put on your earrings first," she said.

"I Don't Want To!" I yelled.

"Christopher!" Mom yelled from upstairs. "I can hear you from up here. Pipe down and play Olive's game. That's a good boy." I hate when my mom uses that tone. I hate it when she calls me a "good boy" and calls me 'Christopher' in that tone.

"There you go," Olive said as she snapped the earrings onto my earlobes.

I just sat there being stubborn. The earrings pinched when she snapped them, but they did not hurt much after that. I just sat there feeling mad and sad.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now, let me find something for you to wear." I guess that knew that Olive had lots of costumes and clothes and stuff like that. Aunt Kay had made me some of my Halloween costumes over the years. I had been prince charming once and Batman and even the Flash. Sometimes Olive talked about dressing up and stuff. But I did not listen to that stuff too well.

The other times we came to visit, she had always wanted to ride bikes or go to the rec center and swim or play on the swing set fort in the back yard. She had always been wearing shorts and a t-shirt or something before. We had played pretend knights in the castle or racing on the bikes. We had not brought my bike along this time and only had her new and old bikes. I had said I was not going to ride either of then.

Olive was usually wearing shorts and a shirt when we came over before. That was not what she was wearing today.

Today she was wearing just about the most girly outfit I had ever seen. Not like a princess gown or anything, but her outfit was pretty fancy. She had on a cream blouse with long sleeves that had lacy cuffs and collar. She was wearing a kind of jumper dress in a floral pattern with a full skirt that had a border at the knee-length hem all around. It was held full by the petticoat underneath. The jumper bib ended in the middle of her chest and had wide straps of the same fabric going over her shoulders and attaching again in the back. It was a chilly day, so she was wearing ribbed tights. Her shoes were shiny black patent leather with a strap over the instep and rounded toes.

She had on bracelets and earrings and a necklace with a watch on it. She was even wearing lace gloves. And she was wearing makeup. At least a bit of lipstick, eye shadow, and mascara. Her hair seemed extra thick too. The same as her normal color but fuller somehow with two high ponytails falling past her shoulders.

Of course, as a 14-year-old boy, I had no idea what all these things were called. I just thought she looked like one of the fancy dolls you see in the stores at Christmas time. In fact, Aunt Kay made some dolls like that and had a few on a shelf in her sewing room. I like to sneak a look at those dolls some times. They were pretty, and they changed from time to time. Olive looked just like one of those dolls.

Anyway, Olive ran around the playroom and in the sewing room, picking out things and making choices. I was starting to get an idea what she was up to when she returned to the playroom and said. "okay. Time to get you started."

"NO!" I shouted.

"Yes!" Olive responded.

"Christopher!" My mom called again from the kitchen. "You do what Olive says!"

"But mom!" I said.

"No 'Buts', mister." Mom said as she stuck her head in the playroom door. "We're the guests, and you know better than to fight. What's gotten into you today. You and Olive usually play so well together. You play nice with Olive, or we'll have to find consequence when we get home. Especially if you make us leave early!"

"But Mom!" I said.

"No 'Buts'." Mom said again, giving me the 'no more of this or else' look.

"Okay." I sad and thumped down on the playroom couch.

"That's a good boy." She said.

== Three ==

"Chris? Olive?" Mom called down the stairs. "You two have been quiet for quite a while. What are you doing?" Mothers are like that. They don't want to hear you unless you're not making enough noise. Then they want to know what you are doing.

I was a bit frightened to say anything. I thought I might actually be in trouble even.

Still, Olive piped up. "We're just playing a game," she called back.

"Okay. Well, we'll be leaving in a few minutes."

"Okay, Aunt Eve," Olive called back. My mom's name was Evalot, but everyone called her Eve.

Just then, Mom and Aunt Kay came through the playroom door. I guess that they were a bit suspicious about what we had been up to. First, there was about the 40 minutes or so of silence from us, then only hearing Olive respond rather than both of us piping up. I suppose that's enough to make any mom suspicious.

"Oh my!" were the first words out of my mom's mouth. "Christopher. You're beautiful."

"Olive! What have you done to your cousin?" asked aunt Kay.

I just kind of stood there shaking. Almost shivering. Maybe I was going to cry, or run or throw up. I could not decide which. I was wearing an outfit similar to Olive's.

I had on a pair of panties and a camisole. Then a pair of ribbed white tights. The white petticoat was tied around my waist. On top of that, I had on a light blue floral print jumper with eyelet lace trim and wide shoulder straps. This was over a cream blouse. Mine had a peter pan collar, puffed sleeves, five-button cuffs, and a bit of blue embroidery pattern at the collar and cuffs. I was wearing a pair of shiny sky blue shoes, much like Olives. They had little chunky 1-inch heels round toes and a strap over the arch. I had on the butterfly earrings, some beaded bracelets, and a necklace that was a string of butterflies and beads.

"So, is this the game you have been playing?" my mom asked. I was still shaking in my shoes on the spot. Almost shivering. My eyes beginning to well up.

"Come here, Sweetie." Mom said gently, and I moved over to her. She knelt Down and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me to her chest.

"There there now. No tears. You do look so sweet." She said. "Was this your idea?" she asked. I just shook my head.

Olive said, "I was already playing dress-up when you and Kit got here and since you said I got to pick what we did after our fight I just invited Kitty to dress up too."

"Is that what happened?" Aunt Kay asked me. I hesitated a second or two then slowly nodded my head.

"Well, you do look very pretty, Kit." Said Aunt Kay. "Here. Let's have a look at you." she pulled my hand and mom let me stand on my own, while still holding my hand. "I remember when I helped you finish that jumper, Olive. Just about a week ago."

"That's right." Said Olive. "I wanted a jumper just like this to go with the butterfly earrings."

"What do you think of this game, Chris?" Aunt Kay asked.

I looked down at my shoes. My shiny blue girl shoes. I had to press the dress out of the way and lean over a bit. I kind of swayed back and forth while I was thinking of what to say.

"Oh, he's so cute!" exclaimed Aunt Kay.

I was trying to process all that had happened in the last half hour or so. I started going through it all in my head to try and make sense of it all.

== Four ==

Here is how I remembered it.

More than a half hour ago. When Mom and Aunt Kay had left after our yelling match, Olive had decided that I had to play dress-up with her. She said she had just the outfit for me.

"Now." She said. "Get your boy clothes off. We're going to make you a pretty little doll just like me."

"What?" I asked.

"You'll see," she said. "Now get your clothes off."

"Do I have to?" I asked.

"We are playing my game today, and my game is to dress up." Olive insisted. "Now get undressed."

I stood there dumbly, trying to think of something to say. I suppose that I could bolt and run back home. But the drive over is pretty long, and I did not think that I would be able to make the whole trip on foot. If I did, then there would be 'consequences' too. I'm not even sure I knew the right way to go. Mom and Aunt Kay seemed pretty adamant about my playing Olive's game. But dress up is a girls game and I'm not a girl.

"Well, Chris? What's it going to be?" Olive asked.

I knew that mom said I should play Olive's game. If we started yelling again, I would get into more trouble. It seemed that there was no way out. So I gave in. I stripped down to my briefs with a sigh.

"Those will never do." She said, looking at my briefs. She handed me a pair of blue panties. I turned around and switched them for my briefs. They seemed to fit okay, I guess. They were much softer and smoother than my regular underwear and tighter, My little penis seemed to fit okay even if it was mashed down flat.

I was a boy, and here I was wearing only panties in front of my cousin I was just doing this because mom had made the rule. Because Mom and Aunt Kay said I had to do what Olive wanted. I guess that it is okay then for me to just go along with Olive. Besides Olive is so pretty in her dress. She looks just like a Christmas doll.

She helped me pull a camisole over my head. It was as smooth and just as soft as her panties but not as tight. The thin straps over my shoulder were edged with lace, and there was a little bow in front where it was gathered up a little. Putting it on gave me a little chill in my spine. It did feel kind of nice, I guess.

"Some girls your age don't have titties yet." Said Olive. "So you don't need a bra."

Olive seemed to notice me shiver, so she said. "Oh, we can't have you catching a chill. Here put these on. Do you know how?"

She handed me the pair of tights. I tried to pull them on like pants, but they got kinda stuck.

"Here, you're going to mess them up. Bunch them up like this and then slide them up your leg," she said while demonstrating on my left leg, pulling them as high as my knee. "You do the other one."

I'm glad she said that because I was starting to get a bit embarrassed with my cousin touching me like that. My penis tingled inside the panties too. I was able to get the other leg on by myself and get them pulled up over my hips.

At this point, Olive showed me the blouse she had chosen. She undid the top few buttons and had me pull it over my head. It had a wide collar and puffy sleeves. I tried to do the buttons, but it seemed my fingers were all going wrong.

"Girls things button on the other side," Olive said. "You'll learn soon enough." Then she helped me button up the blouse, and do up the cuffs.

I was still kind of dumbstruck and did not respond, but I was thinking that I was not planning on ever learning how to button up girls blouses.

Next, she helped me step into this petticoat thing. It was several layers of fabric. It looked like several layers of white linen cloth at different heights with lace on each hem. It puffed out a lot into a bell shape.

Olive tied the waistband to hold it up. "Turn around so I can tie up the laces here in the back." She said. "Now, let's put your dress on."

"This is not the dress?" I asked. "No, silly. That's your underwear. You don't want anyone seeing your underwear, do you?" she asked with a giggle. I had nothing to add to that.

I poked my head up through the jumper dress and settled the wide straps on my shoulders. Olive did up the buttons in the back.

"Why do girls clothes have the fastenings on the back?" I asked.

"So buttons don't spoil the smooth lines in the front," she said.

I'm not sure I understood what she meant, but I just left it at that.

"You will have to have some more jewelry to go with your butterfly earrings." She said.

I followed Olive's instructions and put a few strings of beads around my neck and a couple elastic bead bracelets on my wrists. She had just got the blue shoes buckled on my feet.

I had just had a look at myself in the mirror when mom had called down to us to tell us that we had to go.

== Five ==

"Chris? Are you listening?" Asked mom. "How did you get all dressed up this way?"

I kinda stood there in shock after mom and Aunt Kay came in. "Um. You didn't want us to fight again, and Olive wanted to play this game, and so, well, I guess I just let her tell me what to do. Don't be mad." I said.

"How could I possibly be mad at such a sweet-looking creature like you?" She said. "That's a very pretty outfit. Look how your jewelry goes with the pattern in your dress." She said.

I had not noticed that the pattern in the skirt was a blue sky with an edging of flowers and lots of butterflies flying around and the bib was just the butterflies on a blue background.

"Come, take a look in the mirror over here." Said Aunt Kay.

I stepped up to the mirror and saw a kind of funny sight. I still had a boys head on top of all this very girly outfit.

"I look kind of funny," I said. "My head does not go with my body."

"That's true," said Mom. "Do you want to fix that?"

"I'll take all this off and change so we can go," I said.

"Oh! No!" Said Olive. "I'm not done dressing you up. Please, Mom. Let me finish his outfit."

"We can stay a bit longer if you want to," said Mom to me.

"I don't know." I started.

"Please, Please, Please?" Implored Olive. "None of my other friends likes playing dress-up. Just a few more minutes and Kitty will be all done."

"Okay," said my mom. "We can stay for a few more minutes, but we'll have to go as soon as you're done."

"Yay!" Olive enthused.

"You kids!" Sighed Aunt Kay in a slightly exasperated tone.

Mom and Aunt Kay went back up to the kitchen. "Okay, Kitty," said Olive. "Are you ready to finish off your outfit? I know just what will make this perfect."

I'm not sure why I was not rebelling and throwing a tantrum at this point. But I was fascinated by what I had seen in the mirror. I kinda looked a little like one of the dolls in Aunt Kay's sewing room too. Just like Olive but different.

I guess I was not ready to stop this yet. Besides, a tantrum would lead to 'consequences.' Last time I had 'consequences,' my Lego box was locked up for a week. The time before that, it was my bike that had been locked to the fence for a whole weekend. I stood there, shaking a little. Halfway between tears and fascination.

"Okay, wait here. I'll be back in a minute." Alice was out in a flash.

"Don't run on the stairs!" I heard Aunt Kay yell.

Olive was gone a couple of minutes. I had just started to look at titles in her video collection when Olive returned.

"Kitty!" she said. "Come sit over here." ' I came over to the stool where she was pointing.

"What now?" I asked as I sat down.

"Not like that!" Olive gasped. "Stand back up before you wrinkle your dress!" Olive said.

I stood back up. "Now smooth your skirt under you before you sit. And keep your knees together."

I did as she said and tried to put my knees together. Somehow that was kinda hard to do.

"Makeup and a wig." She said.

"Oh no," I said, but I sat still and waited.

"Don't be a sourpuss," she said. "Here let me get this shadow on you."

She brushed some stuff out on my eyelids very carefully. I flinched a little but not too bad.

"Now a bit of this mascara," she said. "And some lipstick." The lipstick tasted sweet and waxy.

"Here is the wig." She said taking what looked like pink and blue and blond cat out of a box.

"You want me to wear that?" I said.

"Yes. It's perfect for your outfit." She said, placing it on my head.

I had a buzz cut, so the wig covered all my short blond hair. Olive brushed a bit here and adjusted a bit there. She pushed a light blue headband on my head. Then she handed me some gloves.

"Here, put these on," she said.

I slipped them on then she handed me a flimsy looking umbrella and put her own gloves back on.

"Open your parasol over your shoulder like this." She said demonstrating with her own.

"Now, come stand next to me in the mirror." She said.

I came next to her and looked into the mirror. There were two cute girls reflected back at me. One in a butterfly and flower pattern outfit the other in a ladybug and flower pattern outfit. One dress mostly blue and spring colors. The other mostly red and black and white. One girl had mostly brunette hair with a red highlights. The other one's hair was blond with pink and blue highlights.

It was a surprise just what a cute pair we made. We looked just like two dolls on the shelf. I was pretty excited about it all now, but also scared. Boys don't look like this, I thought. Boys don't like to look like, this I thought.

"Come on, Kitty," Olive said. "Let’s go show mom and Aunt Eve." She ran up the stairs again, and I couldn't do anything else except follow.

== Six ==

"What did I say about running on the stairs?" said Aunt Kay.

"I'm done!" Exclaimed Olive as she burst into the kitchen. "Isn't he just the cutest thing?"

"My, oh my, Christopher," Mom said. "You sure are the sweetest looking little creature. I'm not sure I've ever seen cotton candy pink and blue hair quite like that. It's beautiful isn't it? It's perfect with your outfit, though. A bit over the top for every day, but very cute."

The wig had blue highlights on one side and pink on the other. It had big pigtails and fringe in the front. Just like Olives hair.

"And you, Olive." Mom continued. "Did you make both these outfits yourself? You are stunning all by yourself. But together, the two of you are like something out of an anime."

"Kitty has been so good to play with me today. This has been so much fun." Said Olive.

"Girls turn and look over here." Said Aunt Kay.

She snapped our picture with her phone when we looked. "This is just too cute not to capture."

Aunt Kay had said, "Girls." I'm not a girl. But I had seen what I looked like. I sure looked like a girl.

"What am I going to do with you, Kit?" Said, Mom. "We're all out of time. We have to go pick up your dad at the airport now."

"Okay. I'll go get changed." I said.

"No time for that, Mister." She said. "You'll have to change when we get back home. Can Kit keep these things till we can get them back to you?" Mom asked Olive.

"I made the dress to go with Kitty's earrings." Olive said. "After I saw him with his earrings the other day I was hoping we could do this together. I just wish we had more time. I knew he would be so cute in his outfit."

"Okay, then. Let's get going." Mom said as she almost dragged me to the car. "Bye now, Kay, Olive. Kit, tell Olive how much fun you had."

I guess I had to say something. I did not want to admit that I had fun, I did not even know if I did have fun. Still Mom was starting to glare at me.

"I had fun today," I said it a bit glumly. Trying to dig a hole with the toe of my blue shoe but I glanced up at Olive with a bit of a sparkle in my eye.

"Me too," Olive said brightly. "We'll do it again next time," and Olive bent over and gave me a hug and then a kiss on my cheek. I was flushed. With that, Mom whisked me out to the car and made sure I was seat belted in. At almost fourteen, I was tall enough to sit in the front seat. Still, mom always used a seat belt on me.

"Sweep your skirt under you as you sit so you don't wrinkle it!" Mom said when I tried to plop down like I usually do in the car seat.

"You have a lot to learn about wearing pretty clothes like that." She said.

I had no plan to wear outfits like this ever again but did not say anything just then. I did do the "you must be crazy" eye roll though.

== Seven ==

We parked at the airport and found our way to the exit from the secure zone that Papa would be coming through. Mom and Papa had talked on the phone on the way in and so we would be sure to meet right there.

I had almost forgotten how I was dressed. It was not too hard to get used to most anything, I guess, but the skirt swishing around my legs and the clomp of the heels kept reminding me of my pretty outfit. Mom kept hold of my hand and did not give me much choice but to follow along in her wake.

At 14 holding hands with mom seemed wrong but dressed as I was it was comforting. The butterflies seemed to go from my dress into my stomach as we got closer to the area where passengers come out of the concourse.

While we were standing there, a woman came up to mom and said, "Oh, my. What a cute outfit! Where did you get it?"

My mom made a quick explanation, leaving out that I was a boy. They were still chatting when papa came through the door. When papa came out of the security gate, it was more than I could do but to run up to him, yelling, "Papa!" It was so good to see him.

"Who are you, little girl?" he asked. "I'm not your papa."

"Oh. Yes, you are. Mama is right over there. See?" I said.

I dragged him by his hand over to mom. He gave her a hug and a kiss and then looked back at me and again at mom. He held up his hands and gave a little shrug. "There has to be a good story behind this," he said.

"Olive and I were playing while mom and Aunt Kay talked," I said.

"Oh. Are you a girl now?" he asked.

"No, Papa, I'm not a girl. Mom and Aunt Kay said I had to play Olive's game, and Olive wanted to play dress up."

"Is that what happened?" Papa asked Mom.

"Pretty much. We ran out of time to meet you after Olive got him into all this. Still, I don't see any harm in it, so let's not make a big deal about it. Okay? At least not right here." Mom said.

"Okay. Let’s talk when we get home. I have a case coming in. Let’s go grab it and then we can be out of here."

== Eight ==

It had taken a little while waiting for papa's case to come in. While we were waiting a little girl came over to me and asked, "Are you a princess?"

"No," I said. "I'm just a regular guy."

"You're pretty." She said. "Do you want to see my doll?"

She held up a doll. It was a pretty doll with a full dress and a bonnet.

"This is my doll. I call her "Sissy" because I want a sister, just like her."

"Oh," I said.

"Can you be my sister?" she asked.

"I don't think so," I said. "I live with my family."

At about this point, the little girl's mother came over.

"Is Katy bothering you?" she asked.

"No, ma'am," I said.

"I like your outfit." Katy's mom said. My mom had noticed us and came over. "He, um she and her friend were playing dress-up today." My mom said.

"She's very pretty," Katy said. About then, dad came over.

"Well, ladies?" Papa said.

"I'm not a lady!" I said. Maybe a little too loud.

"When you look like that, I can't call you a young man, can I?" said Papa.

I had just realized what I had said. I'm pretty sure that Katy and her mom had drifted away enough by then, and did not overhear us.

"Just go with it for now. Okay, Kitty?" Mom said.

"Kitty?" Said Papa.

"Yea. That's what Olive was calling him." "Hum," he said.

"Well, ladies." Papa started again. "Where do you want to have dinner?"

"We don't have to go out. I have things at home I can make quickly," Mom interjected.

"Nonsense. It's not every day that I get to take my two favorite girls out for a night on the town."

"Out? You want to go out?" I said.

"Sure. You look beautiful dressed like that." Papa said.

"Raymond." My papa's first name is Raymond. "It's his first time. Let's not push it."

"Okay. Home it is." Papa said. "Tell me all about the last two weeks. I missed you all so much. Don't leave out a thing." He said.

Mom told the story as we drove. I was not really listening but I think she made it sound like playing dress-up was as much my idea as Olives.

We drove through fast food. I had chicken fingers and tater tots with a sweet tea. Mom made sure I used plenty of napkins but I still spilled a little on my dress.

"We'll have to clean that before we give it back to Olive," Mom said.

== Epilogue ==

Mom helped me get undressed before bed. "With all that extra stuff you are wearing, do you want some help getting ready for bed?" She asked.

"I can do it on my own, I think," I said and ran off to my room still in the wig, heels, and the rest.

A few minutes later mom came into my room.

"You can't treat those nice things so poorly." Mom said as she looked into my room.

I had started to undressed. I had succeeded at removing my jewelry, wig, and shoes and had thrown them all to the floor. I was struggling with the jumper buttons behind my back.

"Here, let me help." She picked up the wig and rolled it into a bath towel. She placed the shoes in my closet and picked up all the jewelry and put them in a Tupperware box, and put them on a shelf. She helped me get the rest off too. Showing me how to untie, unbutton, unhook and so on. Then hanging and folding and outing them in my closet. Everything else went into my laundry hamper. Then she showed me some wipes to clean my face. The first wipe came away all pink and blue and black. The second one was cleaner. After the third wipe, mom said I could take my shower.

I put on my boxers and t-shirt and was ready for bed. I looked at myself in my mirror. Gone was the cute girl from this afternoon. All traces of the makeup were gone. Back was the boy I usually saw. I think that I'm more used to looking at myself this way, but I still felt a little sad.

== License ==

This is an original work of fiction written for your entertainment. Any relation to real people or events is purely coincidental. As the author and to the extent possible, I release this work to the public domain. You have my permission to reuse, remix, or revise as you see fit.

Going through some of my moms stuff after she passed I found this picture. It shows six little girls lined up in a row walking down a hall. An adult woman, maybe a teacher giving some instruction from behind. The girls are all holding books on their head. Each girl is in a nice dress and patent leather shoes with ankle socks and gloves. Looking at the picture gave me a shock of butterflies in my gut.

On the back of the photo it says "Chris and Amelia 1968". I would have been six or seven that year and Amelia would have been a little less than a year younger.

Looking close at the photo I thought I recognized Amelia as the fifth girl back. Mom had written "Chris and Amelia" on the back and given the year. Amelia is obvious in the photo. But I'm not. Why would mom write my name on the photo then.

Since I was scanning all the family photos I decided to forward the image to Amelia in a text. A few minutes later she responded.

"I remember that school." She said in a text. "That's me fifth from the front."

"where was it taken?" I texted back.

"That's the country club charm school." came her text a few minutes later. "Mom made both of us girls go every summer."

My other sister, Cara was two years older than me.

"We went to that charm school one week every summer till I was 15." She texted again.

"Mom wrote 'Chris and Amelia 1968' on the back." I texted back.

"I think that's you in the front of the line." She responded.

I looked again at the girl in the front of the line. She was toe head blond with short thin hair that looked like it might have been curled with a hot iron. Her dress was the same hem length as all the others in the photo. Just above her knees. She was not looking at the camera.

I looked at some of the other photos of me at that age and I guess that I did recognize her face. That girl was me. But I had no memory of ever going to charm school. Much less of ever dressing as a girl.

"I can't believe mom did that to me." I texted back.

"Yup. I'm pretty sure that is you." Amelia texted back.

I added Cara to the chat and forwarded her the picture.

"Do you remember this school? Amelia said you both went to it every summer." I added as a caption.

It was a few minutes before Cara responded.

"That's you and Amelia in the photo isn't it?" She texted. "You were so cute."

"Mom dressed me up as a girl and sent me to charm school?" I texted back.

"Amelia and I went to that school for years. One week every summer." Cara texted back. "It was fun for a while but I got kinda sick of it before the end."

Amelia added, "I think you only went for that first year."

Cara added, "There was some row and you never wore dresses again after that."

I reread her words a dozen times. I wore dresses before that? I remembered other things from first grade. Why did I not remember wearing dresses?

"The last two years it was always the fancy 'cotillion' dinner for the older girls. Mine would have been in 73." Cara continued.

Amelia texted, "I don't remember you in any of the classes. But that has to be you in front."

Cara texted too, "That sure does look like you." she said.

"Thanks." I texted back. I wonder what the whole story was. I had no memory of ever wearing dresses. But here was a photo of me doing just that.

I posted another text, "I have no memory of every wearing dresses."

"We'll be together for the funeral. We can talk then." Was Cara's last post on the topic.

"See you soon." Was the text form Amelia.

When I was in fifth grade the schools still did the Halloween parade.
On the afternoon of the Friday before Halloween or on the
actual day when it was not on a weekend we would have a party and
everyone would put on their costumes. Then we would have a parade all
the way around the school and across the stage. The line of kids in
costume would snake through each class room and then at the end of the line
that class would join up. When the first class got back to their room
they would sit down and all the other classes would walk past.

Anyway when I was in fifth grade my costume was Prince Caspian from the
Chronicles of Narnia. My big sister had made my costume that year and had
done a pretty good job. My dad and I had made a wooden sword too. With my
slightly long "Beatles" hair cut, my green tunic, tights and slippers
I thought I looked pretty much like the character in the cover art on
"The Silver Chair", book four of the series. We were all sharing a
paperback box set of the books that my big sister got for her birthday the
previous year.

We were sitting in our classroom all on edge and excited. Wearing our
costumes and looking forward to our chance to join the parade. There
were lots of grocery store costumes of superheros, barbies and so on.
We never got that kind of costume. Instead my mom or my sister would
make costumes for all three of us kids. Anyway there were a few
other "home made" costumes too. A Raggedy Anne, Two princesses, A
Tinkerbell, a vampire, A bride, a baseball player or two, A foot ball
player, that was my girl friend, Wendy. Maybe a few others I was
forgetting.

Anyway back to my story. One of my new friends this year was from
another class. His name was Danny. We met on the play ground after
lunch. We started sitting at the same table at lunch. I found out
that his mom drove him to school and other stuff like that.

One day we were talking about Halloween since it was coming up next
week.

"What are you going to be for Haloween?" He asked me.

"I'm going to be Prince Caspian. From the Chronicles of Narnia." I
said.

"What's that?" He asked.

"My sister got some books about this place called Narnia." I said.

"Oh. You are going to be a prince?" he asked

"Yeah. With a sword and everything I added."

"Oh. I guess that's cool." He said.

"What are you going to be?" I asked.

"You'll have to wait and see." He said.

"Ah, that's no fair!" I said.

"Mom and I have been working on my costume for a while." he said.

"But what is it?" I asked again.

"Watch out for me when I come past during the parade." He said.

I couldn't get anything else out of him.

Like I said, the Halloween costume parade winds it's way through all
the class rooms in the school.

I had no idea what Danny's costume was. But he said I should just wait
and see. After the little kids had gone through our grade started
filing past. It was then that I saw a very pretty girl our age.
She was dressed like a bit of a hippy but not too different that what
girls would wear to school in those days. She had shoulder length dark
blond hair that flipped a little at the bottom. She wore a colorful
headband and a billowy peasant blouse, India print skirt. Knee length
lace up boots with a bit of a heel. She had on lots of bead necklaces
and bracelets, finger rings and a pair of big hoop earrings. I could not
help notice her. Her eye lids glowed with bright colors and long lashes.
She had rosy cheeks and cute pink lips. She was beautiful and she was
looking at me like I was her friend. She waved her hand at me and I
waved back. That's when I noticed that she had painted fingernails too.
She was beautiful. And she seemed to like me. When she walked past my
chair she said "Hi Chris, It's me." I gaped. This beautiful girl that
I had fallen in love with was Danny, my friend from the other class. I
was shocked by how good he looked dressed up like that. Up close I
could almost recognize him. Still it was amazing. He was beautiful.

"Wow!" I said.

He just giggled.

I said "Hi, Danny"

He said "Hi, Chris."

He waved bye when he walked out of the room. I guess he knew that my
eyes had followed him the whole way. And then he was gone.

Our class joined in the parade at the end. We toured around the school
and across the stage in our auditorium line usual. And then back to
our classes where we had our little classroom party.

Kool-aid, cookies that someone's mother brought. I guess it was fun.

It was pretty odd though. I don't remember ever seeing Danny at school
again after that day. Neither did I ever see the girl that he had become
on that Halloween again. I asked my mom about Danny. She said that
she did not know who I was talking about. It seemed like he just
disappeared.

Over the years there were other boys that dressed as girls or wore
girls costumes for Halloween but Danny was the first that I had taken
special notice. He had made me see something about myself too. He made
me realize something that has become a part of my core ever since then.
I wanted to play dress up. I wanted to wear girls outfits and look like
a girl. Even though I was a boy I wanted to try to look like a girl.
I did not think that I was a girl in a boys body or that I wanted to
become a girl But I did want to try and look like a girl. I knew that
it was wrong so I never talked about about it. But it was always there.
Just under the covers. I wanted to dress up and try to look like a
girl. To be treated like a girl. Just once.

It must have been that same Halloween when Mom had asked once if I could
re-use one of my sisters costumes. The princess, Pippi Longstocking,
Raggedy Anne, or maybe Tinkerbell.

"You'd be so cute in one of these costumes, Chris." Mom had said.

"Gross. I don't want to be a girl!" I had said. Now after Halloween
was over I was thinking differently about that.

At the time I though it was a gross idea. But then on Halloween I had
seen Danny. Until I saw Danny look like he did I had always said "no" to
using my sister's costumes. But now, after that fifth grade Halloween
parade, I changed my mind.

I started to take special notice of girls and girls clothes. I noticed
more about how they dressed and acted. I had lived with two sisters my
whole life so I had seen girls in all different kinds of outfits and
levels of dress. But something had changed in my thinking. I began
to wonder what it would be like to wear some of their outfits. I began
to wonder what it would be like to be seen looking like a girl, to be
treated like a girl. May be I was jealous of my sisters.

My sisters had been attendant and flower girl at a cousin's wedding
that next summer before sixth grade. Both had worn beautiful white
rayon dresses. Cara's with a green sash and hem and Amy's with a blue
sash and hem. My mom had made the dresses. I had watched the whole
process. Selecting the pattern and fabric. Pinning and cutting,
sewing the parts together. Trying them on, fitting and pinning the
hem. My Little sister Amy complained about it a lot. "Why do I have
to look just like my sister!" she said.

"It's your aunt's choice." Mom said. "You get to be in her wedding.
So you get to match your sister and the other girls that will be
there."

I wanted to wear a beautiful dress like that too. I was too old to be
ring bearer and too young to be a groomsman. I wore a suit coat and
tie to that wedding and helped the ushers and helped set tables.

I was sitting with mom and dad when the wedding march started on the
organ.

Cara was the last brides maid to walk down and Amy walked down the
isle with her new cousin Darren who was the right age to be ring
bearer.

I thought all the girls were pretty but my aunt was the prettiest. Her
gown was beautiful.

We had a costume cupboard in our playroom/tv room at home. Most of our
old Halloween costumes were in there. Mostly though it was my sisters
costumes. Boy costumes tend to be less persistent. They were made
out of cardboard or maybe a few props and my regular clothes. A few
smaller parts were there. There were tunics and helmets and stuff. But
my robot and crab costumes were pretty much gone after a year or so.
With two sisters there were twice as many girl costumes than there
were boy costumes. There were also a couple of mom's old prom dresses
from when she was in high school in the 50's. I decided that I was
going to start my experimentation in the costume cupboard.

I was in the playroom alone and was looking through the costumes. I
guess both my sisters were elsewhere. Mom was working Dad is always
working so I was alone. This was my chance and I took it.

This particular patron seemed to be somewhat familiar with the practice. She was unfamiliar to me but seemed generally familiar with divination of other types. She was not surprised by the tradition of palm crossing and was quite generous. As much as she seemed to be seeking a particular answer she still asked for a general reading.

"What brings you to my table today?" I asked as I started the assessment I normally take when accepting a new patron.

"I've never had tarot read for me before." She seemed curious. "I've been to seances and crystal ball readings. I've had my chart done. But Tarot is new to me."

She was tall for a woman but not surprisingly tall. She had longish hair that might have been blond once but now was mostly gray. It was well kept in a french braid wound into a bun at the back of her head.

She wore a dark blue silk turtle neck under a long natural wool tunic sweater. Leggings and warm boots below. It was a chilly fall day after all.

She was wearing a number of smart pieces of jewelry. I saw most of it was sterling silver. Two pieces were good quality Navajo turquoise. Probably hand wrought but in modern style. A squash blossom necklace and a concho belt riding lightly on her lovely hips below a trim waist line.

Here in Durango Colorado her outfit was totally in keeping with the harvest festival crafts fair. Like usual these fairs are weekend things. It was late Sunday afternoon. She'd be my last patron of the last day.

She seemed like she might once have been some rich man's prize wife. Now grown to regal maturity. Maybe a ranchers widow. Living off his hard work. She was five feet eight inches tall by the scale on my tent door and I'm guessing about 136 pounds.

Anglo, healthy, well turned out, a bit eclectic, Quite attractive. And she passed a large contribution across my palm when I invited her into my tent.

I got more than a little tingle looking at her. Her water blue eyes pierced my heart. Still, She was a patron. She was here for divination not dalliance.

"Would you like tea?" I offered with a wave as I guided her to my little square camp table.

She sat with practiced elegance. Her motions like those of a dancer. Hanging he scarf and gloves on the chair back. Then she sat gracefully on the edge of the chair.

I suspect she knew her effect on me. I was enthralled.

"That would be lovely." She said while taking in her surrounds. "My goodness." She exclaimed. "This is a surprisingly quaint space you have created in here." Taking in the tent with a wave of her hand.

I could not help but glow a bit. I was proud of my effort. Presentation and perception is the better part of my service.

My custom tent had a pentagonal floor plan, about 10 feet in diameter. I was shooting for a medieval campaign tent feel but the materials were all modern. Inside I draped large colorful scarves as decoration over the midnight blue interior.

I find aroma therapy helps create an atmosphere too. I used Lavender, cinnamon, cucumber, and a note of roast garlic. Mostly the scent pleases me but the patrons did not seem to mind.

I was using some new adjustable LED string lights now. They gave a "perfect hour" sunlight tone to the space and canceled out most of the shadows. The light was bright enough for my work but still lending a bit of mystery to the space.

"Let's chat a bit while we wait for the tea." I offered.

My patron nodded her head as I sat.

I assumed that since she had accepted tea she would welcome 20 minute reading. Tea and the full Celtic lay.

"My name is Olive. What shall I call you?" Start out with a simple question. Then go on from there.

"My friends call me Danielle." She said.

"Danielle. That's such a lovely name?"

Danielle makes a small smile. "I've grown to like it." She says. I filed that away.

"Are you familiar with tarot?" I inquired.

"Not too much." Danielle admitted.

I handed her the deck we were going to use. "Take a look at these." It happened to be my Aquarius deck.

I busied my self with the tea set while she looked through the deck.

"Tell me a bit about your self." I invited.

"Well there is not much to tell." She started absently. "My husband is out there somewhere. He came to town with me today. There is always something needed on the ranch. I have a small shop here in town. Just over there. On the corner? We have a few of the local crafters, artists and jewelers. The best items in the southwest I always say. You should stop by. I'm sure we have something you would love."

"I'd love to. I might be able to find some time tomorrow." I had no actual intention to. I was driving on to a fair near Vail tomorrow.

"With the kids grown and on their own it's kinda lonely rolling around in the big old ranch house by myself." She admitted.

I had put the tea pot on the table wrapped in a knit cozie and opened a small tin of short bread. A breeze blew up outside and rattled the tent a bit. I stacked two mismatched china cups and saucers in the table too.

"Please go on." I indicated.

"Where was I? Oh, that's all I'm afraid. There is not much else to tell."

"Thank you. Do you have any questions for me?" I did not really give her time to ask anything.

"Lets start with a single question reading. A simple one. Since I'm asking the question you can fan the cards to me and I'll pull one out."

She did a pretty good job fanning the cards. Of course this deck is thicker and the cards are all larger than normal bridge decks.

I pulled out one. "Ah! The two of coins. In a bridge deck that would be diamonds. This card usually means patience. Since I had the tea in mind I suspect that the cards are telling us that the tea is not quite ready." I gave my best Mona Lisa smile.

Danielle smiled too.

"You said your kids are grown?"

"Yes. Trevor is in San Francisco. He's done so well for himself. Princeton! Can you imagine? He's at one of those giant tech companies. I can never remember which one.

"Annie takes after me I guess. A bit of a wanderer. We still have hope that she will find a path soon. She brought a girlfriend over last Christmas. Lovely girl. That kind of thing was a surprise for Roger. Of course Annie has always been full of surprises. They moved to Portland a while ago."

I poured out the tea. I love the aroma of good black tea. But my patrons typically like tea somewhat weak.

"Do you take milk or sugar?" I asked.

"I shouldn't. I'll have one lump of sugar."

"I have some of those horrible diet packets around here somewhere."

"No. A little sugar will be nice."

I handed her the cup. "Cheers." Then set the sugar holder in her easy reach.

Milk in my tea and then I settled in to reading mode. A sip of tea. A mysterious gaze into my patron's eyes. Wait for her to notice then wait for her to look away.

"Now Danielle. I have to ask two serious questions before we start. And two warnings."

She nodded, a bit concerned.

"We will be doing a Celtic lay today. I don't normally do that one but your generosity inspires me to return for your favor. And it gives us time time to finish our tea.

"Once we begin the cards will be fixed. While we cannot change what the cards reveal we may change ourselves. Shall we proceed?"

"What If I say 'no'?" she posed.

"We will enjoy our tea. Chat a bit more and maybe deepen our friendship."

"I think I want to continue." she asserted.

"You must answer absolutely. Yes or no. Shall we continue?"

"Yes."

"Here is the second warning. The cards are always correct. I, however, am but a fallible instrument. Knowing this do you still wish to continue?"

"Yes."

"This is the Celtic lay. While the pattern goes back to ancient Egypt and comes to us through the Romans and the central Europeans. If you have any questions or comments it is best if you voice them right away. I may answer if I can or I may continue the lay. Often the cards will answer your question without my help. Are you ready?"

"There are ten cards in this lay.This first card is you. Where you are now."

I turned the first card.

"This is the Seven of Rods. This card signifies working your will in the world. You see a man standing and guarding with his own rod against others unnamed. It represents success and high regard from your peers."

"What suit are 'rods'?" Danielle asked.

"They are what we call clubs in bridge decks."

"This next card represents what challenges you."

-O-

I will not bore you with details of all ten cards. That's Olive's thing.

As spiritual, metaphysical practices go Tarot is pretty benign, really. Crossing palms. Ancient mysticism. Some true history. Some of it made up. In that sense it is much like psychotherapy but with a mystical wrapper rather than a "scientifical" one.

OK I won't go into my issues with psychotherapy. Suffice it to say I'm not a fan.

I was a scientist before I messed my life up. Well, I worked IT in a genetics lab. I did not even have a bachelor's degree. But I got my name on a few research papers.

If Olive was telling this story she might tell it different. She's much more spiritual than me. If I let Olive tell this part we'd be here all night.

When I started to liberate Olive she instantly fell into the metaphysical stuff. She read lots of background materials on tarot and astrology and numerology and the other related disciplines. While there are a lot of mathematical underpinnings and symbolic manipulation, in the end it was still just made up magical thinking, tradition and cold reading.

It's still a fun game I suppose. I get a kick out of watching her patrons. Most enjoy it and are not harmed much. And I don't think I'd make it without what Olive can contribute. She often contributes more than I do. So we have this partnership. It works for us.

While I'm at the fair I remain Olive as much as possible. She gets maybe a few hundred cash for the day. Together with my social security check it keeps my van on the road and gets her a hotel room once per week or so. Olive does not make many demands but hygiene is one of them.

Let me check on the girls. I'll be back.

-O-

"The seventh card is a suggested approach." I placed the card on the lower right corner of the table.

"This is the hanged man. It is another of the major arkana. Its usually indicates a need for help from others. In this position it indicates that you will want to seek council with a key issue."

-O-

Danielle and Olive are getting along fine without us for a few minutes more. Let me continue. It might help clarify some things if I explain.

I think I need to tell you tell you about Olive. I want to tell you her story.

It's not like I chose this life exactly. Maybe it was Olive who did. It's not like I grew up as a traveler. Or that I have Roma heritage. I just kinda fell into it through a series of bad choices, misunderstandings and accidents. I think I might be dead by now if not for Olive. But she has not always been a positive.

More than forty years after discovering I was some kind of TG freak I finally admitted to myself that it was not going away. I mean I had acted out on my desire to cross dress. I had been sneaking and hiding for all of those years. I was sick of it.

I had "the conversation" with my wife.

We had been married for thirty years. Kids grown and gone. I was almost sixty and I still had desires to play dress up. I finally decided to get more serious about trying to do it. And I wanted help. I was hoping for her help. For my wife's help.

After she stopped laughing she admitted that she knew about my "hobby". She wanted me to quit doing it. She said I must want to stop since I had not done anything about it for decades. She insisted that if I was still sneaking around after this long then there must be something wrong with me. I'd need help. I needed help stopping this.

You can imagine how this hit me.

I went to doctors she suggested and psychiatrists and quacks. All of whom agreed that there was really nothing wrong with me. Cross dressing was uncommon but it is not an illness. If I did not want to quit on my own there was no treatment that would make me quit. That was not what my wife wanted to hear. She said I was being uncooperative. She said I was not doing my part.

Eventually the stress and conflict got so deep between us. As a result I had an episode. I got put on a 10 day lock down in a clinic where the doors locked from the outside. No one came for me on the tenth day. They let me out on the twelfth day.

I found my house had been sold. All my credit cards canceled and my bank accounts empty except for one old money market account that had a few thousand in it. There was also a key for a self storage locker. All the savings and retirement planning we had done together was gone like smoke.

I got served with divorce papers and appeared in court 30 days later to find out that I could not afford a lawyer of my own. Apparently I had tried to assault a cop while wearing a very flouncy evening gown and work boots. From the video evidence it looked as bad as you might expect.

I only heard from my wife through her lawyer. Apparently there was a restraining order. Apparently there were charges. I never heard from her again. At the time I had no idea was up with my kids and no way to contact them. I got parole and housing assistance.

Water under the bridge and all that I guess. Time to move on. I had subsidized housing, A court appointed councilor, addiction anonymous meetings every week and a job cleaning bed pans at a state run nursing home. I lost fifty pounds on my steady diet of guilt and government cheese.

About three years later I got a letter from my son saying my wife had passed. That came as a shock. We are both young. Both in our sixties. He was executor of her estate. Her will still had a provision for me. Some personal effects and an my 401K.

"Hi dad." I broke down crying at the sound of his voice.

"Listen, I need an account number for the funds transfer."

"I'll text it to you." Was all I could get out.

That was the last I herd from him. More water under that damn bridge.

-O-

I was sixty five. I tried to go back to my IT work but no one would hire an old sex offender. I bought a van. I filed for my social security payment and medicare. I moved into the van and got the hell out of Dodge. Literally. I was living in Dodge City, Kansas.

Now I found a new rut to live in. Drive and camp and scrimp and save and drive some more.

"Dad? It's me, um Joe." It was a text from my daughter, um, other son now I guess.

She (damn it) He was called Joe now. One more thing to stress over. Selfish asshole that I am.

"How are you?" I texted back.

"I want to talk" she/he asked. I have to fix that in my head.

Oh no. This was going to be hard. I'm sure.

"Sure." I texted back.

"Let's meet at a coffee shop,"

"Sure. Which one?" I had no idea where he was and it seemed like there was a Starbucks every thousand feet or so.

"I see you are in Portland. So am I." Apparently I had some location feature on my phone. I'd have to figure that out.

"I'll text you an address. Text me when you are there."

I spent the next fortnight with my son, Joe and his wife. They are great people. They are getting on well. Joe is finally getting recognized for his writing. His wife, Annie, works for the transit district. Joe had done several stories for local city papers. A couple got picked by the wires. Recognition and compensation was growing.

"Look Dad. We know why mom divorced you." Annie said. Annie called me "dad". My eyes started to fill. Apparently she had gotten close to my wife before she passed. Joe and Annie had been care providers for her in the end.

We talked it all out. No one rejected anyone. Annie knew about a service there in Portland that could give me a makeup test. Just to see if finally, after all this time, I wanted to see what the female me might look like. In the end we booked an appointment.

The result of that was Olive. She is a force of nature. She would not let me lock her up again.

Olive is much more spiritual than I am. When I was a kid and breaking away from my strict Lutheran up bringing I bought a deck of tarot cards at a magic shop and played at doing readings. Now after I decided to let Olive out she started studying tarot seriously.

She started doing readings in bars. Got us kicked out of a city square for illegal busking.

She attended one local spiritual fair and apparently found her calling. She got patrons easily and $500 in one day. I was hooked.

It was almost as if Olive actually believes the stuff. I'm not quite sure how it works for Olive to be so different than me. I mean I'm right there doing all the things she does. I'm the one doing them. But it's her doing them. It does not make sense to me either. But so far I'm not some kind of mass murderer so. Live with it I guess?

Joe and Annie are happy to see me once in a while now. I try to get up to Portland every year. There are a couple fairs there that make it worth my while. Olive and Annie are close. I get kinda bored by their conversation. I wish that Joe and I could go to the bar while they are chatting but it's kinda a one or the other thing and Olive wants girl time I guess.

My other son is in Wichita. I've called and left texts. So far no response since that will thing.

I finally found out what took my wife. Annie told me. She had cancer, She had it when we were still together. She knew she had it. She was being stoic about it. Denialist about it. Hiding it. Not taking care of it. Taking care of me and our house instead. In her mind I had to be me. I was selfish to want to be someone else. She could not loose me. I was trying to escape my responsibilities and I would abandon her. If I loved her I would stop that silliness.

If I had understood I might have done things differently. In the end cancer metastasized and took her. I understand it was painful. She was in a facility near Joe. He and Annie were with her till the end.

If I got one wish it would be that I had been able to read more between the lines back then. I might have been able to keep Olive locked up for a few more years. Looking back now I could see where I was too selfish to see her pain. How I seemed selfish to her for me wanting to play this dress up game that she saw as a serious threat and dangerous.

People are messed up and delusional. Once in a while we get a glimpse. More fucking water under that damn bridge.

I never stopped loving my wife. Or maybe I learned to lover her all over again. My kids gave me some her stuff that they has saved. I had her engagement ring re-sized to fit my big fat finger. Olive always wears both my wedding band and her engagement ring.

That part of the story came out on the last night with Joe and Annie before I headed south.

Annie told that story to Olive. Olive is much tougher than I am. If it had been me sitting there I might have broken down. As it was Olive was holding Joe's hand as Annie told the story. At my wife's rejection and eventual acceptance of Joe. Nearly breaking down herself Olive held a stiff upper lip while I watched from behind her eyes. She would let me process this after we got back on the road. I was learning how deep her well of strength went. That was one of the few times that Olive drove the van. I almost did not come back that day. It was easier to see the world though Olive's eyes. But she told me I had to take it like a man. It was another episode I guess. In a dry camp for three days. I'm telling the story so I guess you can see how it cam out.

-O-

"Are you still here?" Danielle looked at me with a worried expression.

I shook my self back to the present.

"I'm sorry about that. I was years away."

I noticed the complete Celtic Cross lay between us. It was time for the summation of the reading.

"Looking over the whole lay it seems that we see a forward looking set of ambitions and goals. Lots of rods means lots of work. A few coins in auspicious places indicates that wealth is available. Also cups where it matters most. That hanged man in that position does worry me. Watch out for some big change soon. But the Strength card in the position of your strengths is auspicious. It means you can handle what is coming."

I touched each card as I talked.

"We see your past success and the work needed to preserve it. This also hints at taking time and patience maybe seeking sound council on this specific family issue."

"You are not sound council?" She asked.

"I am a weak instrument and we just met. I'll happily do another reading with you but I'm not an expert in any other fields. I've done my best to interpret what the cards reveal. Even if my results were perfect they only reflect what we both brought into the reading. Do you have any other questions?"

Danielle looked like she was deep in thought.

"I have very much loved our time together." I admitted. "I'll welcome you to come back again any time. I try to visit Durango every year."

"I loved the tea and the conversation." Danielle opined. "Your reading was spot on in most areas. But I have a confession to make. I have to admit that I know you. Or rather I knew Chris."

"Danielle!" I exclaimed. "I don't understand. You know Chris?"

"It's true." She continued. "I knew Chris years ago. We were friends for a while. We were in school. I don't know anything about these cards, Olive, but I do know about you. You need learn to be more honest with yourself. Then you can be more honest with Chris and with everyone else.

I looked at Danielle with my mouth agape. Chris knew her? They went to school together?

"I look forward to seeing you again sometime. And please don't wait too long. You and I are running out of time."

Danielle stood and walked out of the tent. I sat there just agog. What just happened. Who was Danielle?

I got up and stepped outside to look around. The evening had cooled ant it was well into twilight. My night vision was not so good these days and Olive tended to skip her glasses when she is working.

I pulled my shawl around my shoulders for warmth.

I looked up and down the isle. Danielle was no where to be seen.