Introduction: I’m sure everyone has come across a story or two about someone finding that bottle or lamp that after the appropriate action releases a genie who will grant a certain number of wishes for the lucky person who happens to find it. Quite frequently, the person finding the genie doesn’t read the ‘fine print’ and the results are frequently not what the person making the wishes desired. The greedy and the dishonest seem to get the worst of it. In the case of this story, I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out.

We are going to take a bit of a trip back in time; not too far. Maybe this will help us make some sense about what’s going on.

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This work is copyrighted by the author and any publication or distribution without the written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the characters to persons living or dead is coincidental.

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A Hackneyed Tale of Serious Gravity, Chapter 2
 

Chapter 2

Having been retired for almost 10 years we spent our time travelling around Europe, and taking ocean and river cruises. That is, we did for a while. Becky’s physical health was gradually deteriorating. Her knees had bothered her for years; yet she refused to do anything about it. She had tended to the obese, and that was definitely a contributing factor. She had gone from complaining about the pain, to having to use a cane to get around, to having to have a wheel chair assist in every airport and terminal we passed through. There were times when I was the one pushing her through airports when someone dropped the ball.

We always enjoyed each other’s company, and we enjoyed the same music, and the arts. I wasn’t the best lover, but she put up with me. Then, twenty years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I knew there was a good chance that our love making could resume; however, that was not to be. The surgery was botched and I spent a month in the hospital. I would never have an erection again. I did learn one thing though. I was able to have orgasms; very strong orgasms, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. That did get me to thinking a bit.

With retirement and Social Security we were quite comfortable. We had a little antique business on the side. We bought and sold fine silver and added to our extensive collection. When the time came, it would go to our children, with strict instructions they were not personally to sell it. It would be sold only through the best auction houses. That was something we had learned many years ago.

I was making the rounds like I usually did a couple of times a month. I took some stuff out to the antique mall. We did a lot better with the on-line auction services. The mall was doing okay, but our stuff was just too high end and esoteric for the type of Interstate travelers that made up a large portion of their customers. After leaving some things off and picking up a few bucks from a couple of sales we had, I headed for another mall that attracted some pretty good dealers. I bought there frequently; however, we couldn’t get the space there we wanted to move into.

Didn’t find anything at the mall, so I headed for a pawn shop I frequently did business with. Maxie would buy precious metals at ten percent under spot and sell items to me at ten percent over spot. He was happy making the quick money, and I was happy to get some pretty good stuff. Maxie was at his usual place on a stool by the cash register and smoking a cigar.

“Hey, Mr. Edwards, glad you came in. I got something this morning you might be interested in. How’s the wife doing? Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Not very well, she’s having a lot of trouble getting around. She needs to get her knees done, but the doctor won’t do anything until she loses at least fifty more pounds. I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Maxie replied.

“You said you had something interesting to show me. I’m dying to see it.” You never could tell about Maxie. What he thought may fabulous, could turn out to be junk, only worth melt. That was not the case this time.

“I’m pretty sure it’s Russian. I remember what you told me about that ‘84’ mark meaning 87.5 percent silver. The guy that sold it to me thought it meant 84 percent. I let him believe it. Besides, all this enamel weighs quite a bit, so he probably made out alright. What ya think?”

I was at a loss for words. This was big time museum stuff. It was a stoppered perfume bottle. It stood about ten inches tall to the top of the stopper. It was almost totally enameled except for the bottom, bottom edge and around the area where the stopper fitted in the neck.

“May I?” I asked while reaching for it.

“Certainly,” Maxie replied.

It had to be Fabergé. Well it was as close as it could get. It was made by Anders Johan Navalinen, one of the best who worked in the Fabergé shop.

“I couldn’t get the stopper out,” Maxie remarked as I reached for the stopper. “I didn’t want to damage it, so I figured I’d leave it to you if you wanted it. I did shake it a bit. I couldn’t hear anything loose or liquid.”

“Yeah, I want it. Maxie, this is worth a hell of a lot of money. Are you sure you want to sell it?”

“It’s yours. If you sell it for big money, just remember where you got it.”

“Maxie, I will. You’ve been a great friend.” I paid him for the silver content plus ten percent. That worked out to right at $1,100. I didn’t care about the weight of the enamel.

Maxie didn’t have a clue. That bottle would bring 200 to 300 grand easily in any major auction house. Hell, it might bring a hell of a lot more. It was really out of my league. I mean, I knew what it was, but we’d never handled anything this valuable. The highest we’d ever sold anything for was around $5,000. We’d made a bundle on that one. Boy, would Becky be surprised when she saw it. Maybe it would motivate her to get her knees fixed.

Becky was visiting her friend in Florida, and wouldn’t be home for a week. That would give me time to research the provenance, and figure out why somebody would sell something this valuable. If it had been stolen, I’d have to make sure it was returned to the rightful owner. I am not dishonest. I would not have gone as far as I did in my career field if I had been.

When I got home, I put the bottle on my desk just to admire it. I double checked the hallmarks, and verified I had been absolutely correct as to its origin. I took about a dozen pictures, and transferred them to my computer and the cloud. It was strange, though. There wasn’t a mark on it; no tarnish, no scratches, no lost enamel, nothing. My gosh, it was 150 years old and was as unblemished as it was the day it was made.

There have been a number of times we’ve had stuck lids or stoppers on items. We’d soak them in hot water for a while, and usually they’d open right up. The last thing we’d want to do is use force and damage something; especially something as valuable as this.

Of course, all that preparation was unnecessary. The stopper that had been firmly in place when I tested it at Maxie’s pawn shop almost jumped into my hand as I pulled at it. This is where it really got silly. Smoke started pouring out and formed a cloud just to the side of the table. The smoke condensed for a while, then suddenly dissipated leaving a rather nicely dressed woman standing there. She had a very pleasant smile.

“You weren’t in that bottle, were you?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

“No, that stuff’s just to keep the myth alive,” she said as she looked around. “Some folks are more gullible than others. We just transport into the cloud, and it helps maintain the illusion. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in there and be shaken up like Maxie did to the bottle. That could be very uncomfortable.”

I sniffed the bottle of beer I’d been drinking. I couldn’t detect anything unusual.

“You’re not drugged, if that’s what you were trying to detect. Besides, if that beer were drugged, you wouldn’t be able to detect it,” she said as she gave me another wonderful smile.

I took a good swig of my beer, a good German beer by the way. I’d been nursing on the bottle for a while and realized it was still full and nicely chilled. “So, may I ask why you’re here?”

“Certainly,” she laughed. She’d caught me with one of my own jokes. I had to laugh.

“Why are you here?” I asked politely. “And, what is your name?

“Well, you have the bottle, and you opened it. That pretty much locks you in until the requirements are met. As far as my name goes, you may call me Sylvia.” Once again she gave me that beautiful smile.

“Do these requirements involve wishes?”

“That’s pretty much standard. Sometimes there are variations, but in your case, it’s the standard three. There are the standard warnings and cautions. Most of which are ignored by the evil and greedy.”

“May we discuss these wishes before implementing them, that is, go over them, and discuss the ramifications of each?”

“There’s no rule against it, but most just like to make their wishes and run, so to speak.”

“What about time limits?”

“There aren’t any. As long as you have a wish left, I’m yours to command. Take your time. I’ll be with my husband and children. All you have to do is open the bottle, and I’ll get back to you. It may look as if I appear pretty instantaneously; however, on my end more time may elapse. With a young family and an amorous husband, it may take me a few moments to properly attire myself. There are certain rules we have to follow.”

“So, what you’re wearing …?”

“Strictly business attire. You like?”

“Very nice, you make me wish I was a lot younger. Wait, that’s not a wish!”

“Don’t worry, I will always confirm with you any wishes you make. We don’t want any wasted wishes. They can be expensive.”

“Okay, I do know this. My first wish will be for my wife. Are you aware of her condition, what she’s going through?”

“Yes, we are fully aware of that situation.”

“Good,” I replied as I searched for file on my lap top. I turned the screen so she could get a clear view of it. I’ll bet she didn’t need me to, but I did it anyway. I didn’t want to be guilty of assuming too much.

“This is what you want,” she said with a bit of a frown. “You know she won’t like it.”

“I know, but this is my wish. There will some adjustments, to be sure; however, I think we will be able to eventually work things out. If you can do what we desire, we will be happy.

“Now, I have a lot of work to do before my wife gets home. Look, do I have to do the bottle thing every time? I thought I could just text you if I had a question.”

“Sorry, you must use the bottle. It’s written into the contract. Besides, it make a big impression for the first time observers.

“Whoops, Jeffery got into something he shouldn’t have. Gotta run.”

I watched as the cloud of smoke formed out of nothing. She stepped into the cloud and disappeared. The smoke returned to the bottle, and the stopper did a little double flip and settled into the neck of the bottle. I had work to do.

So, what is this image that he showed Sylvia, and why won’t his wife be happy about it? Well we seem to have the standard three wish thing. I wonder what our protagonist is going to do with them. He doesn’t seem to be too greedy. After all, he said the first wish is for his wife, and there are only three wishes.

Introduction: I’m sure everyone has come across a story or two about someone finding that bottle or lamp that after the appropriate action releases a genie who will grant a certain number of wishes for the lucky person who happens to find it. Quite frequently, the person finding the genie doesn’t read the ‘fine print’ and the results are frequently not what the person making the wishes desired. The greedy and the dishonest seem to get the worst of it. In the case of this story, I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out.

Back to the present, sort of. Rick has shaken Sandy to the core. Everything she thought about herself is eroding away, and rather quickly, I might add. Yet, she cannot find anything in the original wish that would indicate why this is happening to her.

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This work is copyrighted by the author and any publication or distribution without the written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the characters to persons living or dead is coincidental.

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A Hackneyed Tale of Serious Gravity, Chapter 3
 

Chapter 3

Sunday was Sunday just like everywhere else. I did my 20K lope and returned for a relaxing shower. There was that damned itch again. I was a bit surprised when I arrived here the first time how strong the religious community was. I had no problem with it. If someone sought comfort with an imaginary deity that was fine with me. That just wasn’t the way Becky and I operated. That was one of the reasons I loved her so much, and still do.

Becky knew about the inner me early in our marriage. Before cancer set in, our love making was frequent and very satisfying. I wasn’t a cross dresser, and that was never a problem. It was much deeper than that; far deeper than I thought she understood. I was quite wrong about that. For me, making love to a woman was perfectly okay. For Becky, it wasn’t. She was only interested in making love to a man. She was not bisexual.

As far as EM Industries was concerned, we were wife and wife. By this time, spouses were welcome. The corporation wanted to do anything they could to keep the transportation costs down, and having a family unit migrate just insured a longer tenure for migrants. I was one of those in the company who established the policies for migration.

As far as the company was concerned, I had been with them for three years. I was 33 when I received a double PhD in Astro Physics and Planetary Ecology. The latter might have been considered rather speculative; however, the science was good. We knew what to expect under the conditions specified. Mars was the first one where we had a chance to prove the science was real. The government wasn’t at all keen on it, so EM Industries stepped in and took charge. The government of this country or any other country wanted nothing to do with it. There were enough problems on Earth as it was; still are for that matter.

Of course there had been government funded explorations. Russia sent explorers several times, as did China. The second US expedition ended in disaster when was consumed by the sun. That soured the US on ever attempting anything like it again. The costs were just more than they could handle, emotionally and fiscally. There was a functional operation on the moon that was shared by several countries. There was even a small tourist business for those who could afford it. Some elderly who were mobility challenged on earth moved there to spend their last years in the one sixth gravity.

What happened to make Mars feasible? EM Industries came up with a very workable space drive that did not require space ships to coast to their destinations after a very powerful acceleration. That was just too expensive and too stressful. What they developed was a workable ion drive. The concept had been around for decades; however, they were the first to make it work. They also pioneered the Earth to space elevator, and it’s smaller companion on the moon. These were tethered geosynchronous and lunar synchronous satellites that allowed passengers and cargo to be hoisted to and lowered from the satellites. There was quite a bit involved; however, once the systems were put into operation, transportation costs were greatly reduced. The up and down wasn’t speedy though. It took several days from earth to reach 35,000+ kilometers. There were some people who just vacationed going up and down the elevator. They were catered to. Of course EM Industries also installed the first and second elevators on Mars.

I had developed a number of new approaches to environmental concerns-that proved to work very well. The terraforming process accelerated by twenty-five percent. Suddenly, I was the fair haired woman in the organization, in spite of being a brunette. I’d made two trips to Mars to check on the implementation of the new procedures. Things were going very well, and it surprised me about the respect I was receiving.

Becky made the second trip with me. There were a number of perquisites being in the position I am. Becky loved it. Maybe it had something to do with the 38 percent G. It really got to her. She could do things she’d never been able to do before. Then she met Arnold Gerstein. I knew right then that our marriage, what there was to it, was over. The divorce was just a matter of some paperwork. She was free, and married Arnold a month later. I was her maid of honor. I left her there, and returned to clean up things that we’d left behind on Earth.

While back on earth I was promoted and given the position of being in charge of the settlement, at least the physical operation. I was taken aback about the quickness of my ascension to this position, but then I realized I probably knew more than anyone about its operation. That had been my plan all along. I just didn’t think it would happen this quickly.

So, here I am contemplating what the hell is going on. We had arrangements, and it was all on paper. It wasn’t signed in blood, but I thought I could trust her. There hadn’t been a hitch in all the years since we’d worked out all the details. I was happy, Becky was happy, and our previous lives were neatly taken care of. We had died in a terrorist attack in Marseilles. The attack had really happened. We just weren’t there. Our children and grandchildren were rather well off due our existing insurance policies and our small fortune in antique silver. As we found out, neither of us had more than a year left as it was. That was the easy part. They had to create two existences out of nothing; however, that didn’t seem to be much of a problem for them.

Everything had been going quite well as far as Becky and I were concerned. She was healthy for the first time in decades. She had a loving husband, two children with a third on the way. She couldn’t be happier. Things were just as fine as far as my life was concerned. Maybe I was a bit of a workaholic, but that came with the job. I enjoyed what I was doing very much. I was accomplishing something, something that might help mankind.

That wasn’t the problem. The problem was Rick Andrews. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I had never been attracted to a man in my entire life; both of them. I mean Rick was a nice guy. There wasn’t anything wrong with him as far as I knew. I had reviewed his entire file many times. He had married when in college. It didn’t last. He didn’t have any children. He was an honors graduate at Humboldt State, Master of Science from California State University at Davis, and PhD from the same. He’d taught for several years before applying for the job with EM Industries. I had interviewed him and was impressed with his intellect. Now that I realized it, there was that twinkle in his eye.

I didn’t really know what to do. When I returned to my office on Monday, I half expected to see an email or message from him. There wasn’t one. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed. Tuesday, he called me through my secretary.

“Dr. B, Dr. Andrews would like to talk to you. He’s on line 2.”

“Rick, what’s up?”

“Good, you’re still speaking to me.”

“Why wouldn’t I be speaking to you?”

“I thought you might be a bit upset about Friday night. I sort of took advantage of you.”

“You did no such thing,” I said. “You were a perfect gentleman.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly honest when I asked you out for a drink. Originally, I was thinking about asking you out for dinner. Then I realized I might be pushing it a bit. After all, the only time we’d had a meal together before Friday was during company business.”

He was right about that, but I did recall taking him out to dinner in San Francisco when I interviewed him for the job. However, that was on the company tab. That was just business.

“Rick, it wasn’t a problem. I really did have a good time.”

“Would you be upset if I asked you out this Friday?”

“I don’t think so,” I replied a bit hesitantly.

“You don’t want me to ask you out?”

“No, I think I want you to very much.”

The words came so easily, and I wasn’t sure why. Yes I liked Rick, but only in a professional way, or so I thought.

“May we meet for a drink after work, only a drink? I promise.”

“I think that would be nice. Same place?”

“Sure, I’ll meet you there. I have go out to the Cannabis farm. It’s really working out well. I may be a bit late.”

“I’ll see you there.”

Fortunately, I didn’t have a lot on the schedule because I was a lost cause. This was not how things were supposed to happen. I went through the list she’d agreed upon. There was nothing about me falling in love with a man. I was gay. I liked women. I always had. Now, here I was finding myself enamored with a man who was ten years my junior. I accessed a secure file and pulled up the document we’d agreed on. There were 77 subparagraphs to the main wish. Not one of them had any reference to me falling in love with a man.

I went to the agreement we’d put together concerning Becky. Becky had agreed to everything in it. We had put it together jointly; agreed on everything, and as near as I could tell, things were going exactly as we’d hoped it would. There was no question I was going to have to talk to Sylvia about what was going on, but that would have to wait until I got home after having a drink with Rick.

Rick wasn’t there when I walked in; however, the greeter led me to the same table we’d been to before. “Your friend called a while ago. He said he would be here in about five minutes from now,” the greeter said while checking his watch. “He ordered for you. He thought you would like a Margarita like the last time you were here. Or, if the lady would prefer something else?”

“The Margarita would be fine. It was very good last time.” I looked up to see Rick approaching. He stopped at my side of the table and took my hand in his. He had an inquiring look. I tilted my head and smiled. I didn’t pull away and he lightly kissed me on the lips. I could have turned to take the kiss on my cheek, but I didn’t. Shivers were running up and down my spine and to my ‘you know what’. This was so wrong, but it wasn’t.

“You were absolutely right about the Cannabis. I read your papers on it when I was in grad school. We’ll be able to eliminate ninety percent of the plastic importing in just a few years. We’ll be able to make our own paper and cloth. And the building material side of it is fabulous. It loves the carbon dioxide atmosphere, and those few hundred acres are turning out tons of oxygen. You really hit the nail on the head with your research.”

“I was really following up on a lot of early research and trying to apply it to what we knew we’d be facing here. Hell, they were using it for all sorts of things 3,000 years ago.” Our discussion went on for a while, and I certainly don’t need to go over it in this discussion. There was one thing, though he kept talking to my eyes. I had a plan in mind just to see how focused he was.

Fortunately, our discussion drifted away from the environment to more pleasant things. I hadn’t realized it, but Rick was a classical music fan. We both loved opera and the music from the romantic and post romantic eras. We got into a heated discussion as to what was better; Dvoŕak’s Eighth or Ninth Symphonies. Before I knew it we were again having dinner. I didn’t mind. Then we were in an air cab heading to my flat. I didn’t invite him in; however, I might have, had the timing been better. His goodnight kiss literally curled my toes. My god, he could kiss! I had to talk to Sylvia about this. I needed to talk to Becky about this.

I rather shakily entered my flat, and stared for a moment at the Fabergé perfume bottle on my faux fireplace mantle. We were currently exactly opposite each other in our orbits, i.e. Earth and Mars were about 20 light minutes from each other. There was one thing that was pretty absolute, and that was the speed of light. If I opened the bottle, it would take 20 minutes for Sylvia to know I was wanting to talk to her. It would then take another 20 minutes for her avatar to get here, and another 20 minutes for our conversation to return to earth. That was ridiculous. I was on my own. We couldn’t really converse unless we were physically together.

You might ask why I had the Fabergé perfume bottle. It seems I hadn’t ever used my third wish.

This wasn’t what Sandy had planned on at all. Apparently, Becky was in on it from very early on. That’s pretty evident. I guess it’s time to find out more about the two wishes, if we can.

Introduction: I’m sure everyone has come across a story or two about someone finding that bottle or lamp that after the appropriate action releases a genie who will grant a certain number of wishes for the lucky person who happens to find it. Quite frequently, the person finding the genie doesn’t read the ‘fine print’ and the results are frequently not what the person making the wishes desired. The greedy and the dishonest seem to get the worst of it. In the case of this story, I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out.

Apparently, Becky was not too upset about finding out about Sylvia. It certainly had to have been a surprise, but obviously things did work out. At least our narrator thought they had.

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This work is copyrighted by the author and any publication or distribution without the written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the characters to persons living or dead is coincidental.

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A Hackneyed Tale of Serious Gravity, Chapter 4
 

Chapter 4

I had to make two circles around the parking area before Becky was able get her second bag at the carousel. The attendant wheeled her out to the curb, and put her luggage on the back seat. Becky gave her a nice tip.

“Well, you seemed rather excited about something when we talked last night. Did you find a treasure in your searches for the Holy Grail?”

“I’ll let you decide when you see it. Let’s just say Maxie came through again.”

Being in a rather small city, it took us only 20 minutes to get home from the regional airport. Even though we were in a capital city, our airport had no international connections. I took her bags inside while she struggled to walk the few feet from the car to inside our modest home. She collapsed in her chair while I opened a bottle of Prosecco, and poured a glass for her. That trip was tough, with a change in Atlanta. Atlanta was just an ordeal, and it kept getting worse.

I turned on the gas fire place, and poured a glass of wine for myself. I then carried the perfume bottle, which she hadn’t yet seen, to her. “What do you think of this?” I asked.

“Oh, my god,” she exclaimed, “That has to be Fabergé. Where did you get it?”

“I got it from Maxie, as I said earlier. Yes, it came from the Fabergé shop; however, that’s only part of the story. Watch this,” I said as I took the stopper from the top of the flask. Sylvia must have known exactly what was going on. The smoke display was over the top.

“Holy shit,” Becky exclaimed as Sylvia stepped out of the cloud of dissipating smoke.

“Becky, it’s so nice to see you,” She said as she winked at me. I think she was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Theodore Edwards, I don’t know how you did that, but I won’t have any trollop coming into my house, especially when I’m not at home.

“Young lady, pick up your stuff and leave. By the way, that is certainly not any outfit I would expect a real genie to wear.”

“Would this be any better?” Sylvia asked as she waved her hand. I’m sure the wave was just for the effect. Her very nice business outfit turned into something that had to have been stolen from the set of “I Dream of Jeannie.”

“Oops, I think I owe you an apology. This sort of thing just doesn’t happen. I guess I’ll have to edit my fact file.

“What is your name young lady, and don’t tell me it’s Jeannie?”

“It’s Sylvia,” she replied.

“And I suppose you live in that bottle.”

“Of course not,” Sylvia replied, “I live in Hartford, Connecticut with my family. I’m a writer. My husband runs a plant nursery and landscaping service.. I’m just on call for the magic stuff. I do only one client at a time. When this project is over, I’ll be assigned to someone else.”

“So, is this one of the standard three wish things?” she almost sneered.

My wife could be a bit sarcastic at times. The last thing I wanted was for Becky to piss Sylvia off.

“Yes, your husband has three wishes. We have gone over the rules, and he will explain them to you. Your husband is the only one who may summon me. There is no rush. There is no time limit.

“I need to get home to rescue my husband from a bratty child.” Sylvia gave my wife a hug and a gentle kiss. Then she disappeared in the standard cloud of smoke.

“I guess I’m in for it now. What are you going to do; turn me into a bimbo?”

“Absolutely. You will be a platinum blonde with tits out to here,” I said gesturing with my hands about a foot from my chest. “Wait a minute. I’m impotent. That wouldn’t do me much good at all. This is how it’s going to work. Sylvia and I have gone over all the rules. My first wish is for you. You are going to get your health back. The neat thing is we get to attach all sorts of sub wishes to the main wish. We can work it all out before the wish is implemented on our okay. Sylvia will go over everything with us. There is no rush.”

Becky mulled things over for a while. “I suppose your wish is going to be ….”

“I’m sorry, but that’s a given. I have to do it. Would you please help me do it the right way?”

“If this is real, you know I will. I love you and will support you any way I can.”

Becky and I went over every detail time and time again. When we thought we had it figured out, we asked Sylvia to look over what we had written. She made a few suggestions, and pointed out where a comma was needed, and where we should eliminate a couple. There were the legal things we needed to take care of. Our current lives would have to end and new existences would have to be created. One thing we knew for sure was that we wanted to remain together. Obviously, we were going to have to make some adjustments.

When we had Becky’s wish complete, we started working on mine. Besides the sex and gender thing, there were a number of enhancements I wanted. I wanted to increase my IQ. I wasn’t ignorant or stupid by any definition. I had a BS in biology, and an MS in Plant Ecology. I just wanted to be sharper if I was able to do what I wanted. My IQ was in the 130 range, but I wanted to be intellectually more agile. If a question came up, I wanted to be able to address it properly. I wanted to have a handle on the Scientific Method. I wanted to be able to assimilate data, and be able to come to the correct conclusions. I wanted to go to the stars; however, that was not written into the wish. I would have to do that on my own merit. I wanted Sylvia to give my IQ a 50 point boost. She said it wouldn’t be a problem.

If I was to gain knowledge, I was going to have to do it on my own. I had the basics down without a problem. I would be admitted to MIT to earn a PhD in Astro Physics and Planetary Ecology. I would have to earn it. It couldn’t be bestowed by a wish. It had to be ‘real’. It would be tough.

The gender and sex thing was most important. I showed Becky a picture of the template I wanted to start with.

“Well, I must say your taste in women is pretty good,” Becky said as she examined the image of the partially clad young woman. I had other pictures of her that showed a bit more, but I didn’t think Becky needed to see them.

“I want to be at least five centimeters taller with a corresponding weight increase. You have always been my model for beauty, but I don’t want to be a copy of you. Obviously, I fell in love with your mind and intellect, as well as your physical beauty.”

“If you say so, I think I will believe you. I imagine you would like to be a bit bigger in the boob department, although she is quite nice the way she is.”

“I think I would like to be at least a cup and a half bigger.”

“So mine weren’t big enough for you?”

“Yours were perfect for you. It’s just that this is what I want for me.”

“If that’s what you want, I’m going to have to make sure Sylvia acquires the right lingerie for you. We’ll have to have a talk.”

There were many more mundane things we had to go over. I insisted I had to be a fully functional female. That was very important. We’d both decided being disease free was critical. There were a number of other things that Becky insisted on, and I relied on her wisdom and experience. Obviously, she knew far more than I. I knew that deep inside I was a woman; however, for my entire life I’d been relying on lore rather than fact. One can’t really understand what it was like to be a woman without being one. I was going to have to learn the hard way. No, I was going to have to learn the real way.

Yes, I had 77 subparagraphs to my main wish; however, I had to rely on Becky to make sure they covered the essential requirements of being fully female in every respect. We finally decided it was time to take the next steps. We summoned Sylvia.

Sylvia explained that perhaps the easiest thing would be to transition overnight. We would wake up in our new abode on the outskirts of Boston, but close to MIT. She would give us all the basic information we would need. Fortunately, Becky and I had been to Boston several times, so we were not that ignorant of what we would be facing.

The academic situation was something else. I had one hell of a lot to learn. It was up to me to learn what I needed to learn. Fortunately, Sylvia allowed me to remember what I had been exposed to in my previous life. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

We woke up the next morning in the flat that was to be ours for at least the next three years. I couldn’t believe how good I felt, and it was the same for Becky. I made love to her. We wouldn’t do it that often, but when we did, it was because we really did love each other. My new self was much more difficult for Becky to get used to than it was for me to get used to her appearance. After all she looked a lot like she did when we were first dating. My appearance was nothing close to the way I appeared before. I don’t need to go into great details, like down to each follicle. I was just a bit over 175 cm tall; the same height I was before. I had dark brown air. My figure was exactly how I had envisioned it. I was not plus sized, and I certainly wasn’t rail thin. I was definitely well endowed. Our effective ages were late 20s, early 30s, and that’s what our documents showed. We were now wife and wife.

One of the things I insisted on was that I wanted no canned memories. I had to learn it for myself. This meant Becky had to be my teacher. I thought I knew a lot about being a woman from reading the literature both scientific and fictional. I knew nothing. My first period was a shocker. Fortunately, my second and third weren’t nearly as bad. Becky was a tough teacher because she cared. The makeup lessons were difficult, but I learned quickly. I wanted to present the correct image professionally and socially.

School was difficult. It was supposed to be. Being a PhD candidate meant there were many responsibilities. I was frequently called on to teach classes and give lectures. Then there was all the research I had to do. Astro Physics is a very interesting field. I wouldn’t be studying it if it weren’t, but I certainly don’t need to go over the details at this time. The ecology part was fun. There had been a lot of speculative ideas thrown out there about planetary ecology, and many of them turned out to be valid.

Now it’s time for the Friday night date. Sandy is a good and eager learner. Becky explains to her exactly why things are going the way they are, and it makes perfect sense to Sandy. She will never forget this night.

Introduction: I’m sure everyone has come across a story or two about someone finding that bottle or lamp that after the appropriate action releases a genie who will grant a certain number of wishes for the lucky person who happens to find it. Quite frequently, the person finding the genie doesn’t read the ‘fine print’ and the results are frequently not what the person making the wishes desired. The greedy and the dishonest seem to get the worst of it. In the case of this story, I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out.

Well, it’s back to the big date. Without question, Sandy is looking forward to it. She’s still a bit puzzled about why she is so looking forward to it. Becky puts it in very simple terms. Sandy is growing up.

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This work is copyrighted by the author and any publication or distribution without the written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the characters to persons living or dead is coincidental.

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A Hackneyed Tale of Serious Gravity, Chapter 5
 

Chapter 5

I was a nervous wreck. I had realized that this ‘official’ date was very important. I’d also come to realize I wasn’t as gay as I had been projecting over the last nearly 16 years. Yes I was physically attracted to women. That would never change. I had reviewed my list of 77 addenda to the second wish. There was not one thing that related to my sexuality, i.e. being gay, heterosexual, or bisexual. There were all the little details Becky and I had worked out, but not one thing about my sexuality; only my gender, and I was extremely happy about that.

Becky was coming over to help me get ready for my date with Rick. She was more than happy to. I had already picked out a dress that I felt would test his ability to look only into my eyes. I’d worn it only a few times, and only once on Mars, if I remembered correctly. She worked on some details that she felt would seal Rick’s and my fates. I thought she was joking when she asked if I had any protection. I didn’t. She ran down to the ladies room on the ground floor, and brought back a package of condoms and placed them in my purse while giving me a wink.

“Becky, I don’t understand it. I always thought I was gay, and here I am thinking about seducing Rick.”

Becky chuckled her cute little laugh. “You don’t get it do you? Your wanting to make love to women is just a residue left over from your time as a male. How old are you?”

“Officially, 45. Why?

“How long have you been a woman?” she asked.

“Sixteen years.”

“Therein lies the problem. You never went through childhood or adolescence as a female. You never got to hang out around girls and talk about boys, talk about handsome men, talk about making love for the first time. Honey, you are just a 16 year-old teeny bopper getting ready to test the waters for the first time. You are mentally a woman, and always have been. It’s just that you’ve finally matured.”

She sprayed some perfume that hung like a cloud in the low gravity, and had me walk through it.

“You know he loves you. He told me that a few days ago. I didn’t tell you that by the way. I think you love him. Just follow your heart.”

We were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you to your fate,” Becky said as she opened the door.

“She’s all yours, Rick. Good thing it’s Friday.”

Rick’s eyes went from my face, to my boobs, took in my form fitting dress, back to my boobs, then back to my eyes.

“So, what do you think?” I asked as I spun around.

“My god you are beautiful. But I always knew that.”

“Thank you. Would you like a drink before we go?”

“We’d better go. The cab’s waiting,” Rick said as he took my arm. I never did drugs in my life, at least not the illegal ones; however, I’d never felt the elation before that I felt at that moment.

I had never ventured to the Ares club during my time there. I never saw any point in it. This was different. A handsome, intelligent man was taking me there as his guest. This had never happened to me before. I just went with the flow.

There were two chilled Margaritas waiting for us at the table. Mine was wonderful, as was dinner. Yes, I was intoxicated, but the intoxication wasn’t all due to alcohol. I came to many realizations that night. One brought me back to the time I had proposed to Becky. When she accepted my proposal, I was complete. Regardless of my gender issues, Becky completed me. Now there was Rick Andrews, and I was a different person.

Rick paid the driver when he let us off at my place. I had gone to the restroom after desert while he was taking care of the bill. He rose as I approached the table and extended his hand to me. He raised his eyebrows briefly as I deposited a small wrapped item imported from Earth into his hand. There would be no misinterpreting my intentions.

We swapped spit on the way back to my flat. I know, that’s crude, but truthfully, I couldn’t get enough of him.

“Would you like some coffee?” I asked.

“Maybe tomorrow morning. Right now, I would like to make love to you. I had an image of you in my mind for a long time. When you met me in California, I knew my fantasies were justified. I just had to find a way to get your attention. I shouldn’t have waited so long, but I finally got up the courage to ask you out for a drink. I knew that night you were the one.”

“I think I knew it that night, too. Look,” I said as I turned around, “do you think you can pull that zipper down? It’s rather difficult for me to reach.”

Rick embraced me, and put a wonderful lip lock on me that, as before, curled my toes. His hand gently pulled the zipper down, and the dress puddled at my feet. I was wearing a thong and my stockings. He easily picked me up, carried me to my bedroom, and placed me on my large bed.

“I don’t think this is fair. You are far more clothed than I.” I slipped off the bed and gradually released his clothes from his body. I was not disappointed. I wasn’t sure about having something that size in me; but I was damn sure going to give it a try. There were a few apparati in the drawer next to my bed, but I had a feeling I would never use them again.

Of course I had no comparison; however, I didn’t need any. He was good, far better than I ever expected or deserved. We made love three times; twice before we fell asleep and again in the morning.

“So, where do we go from here?” I asked as I gave him a second cup of coffee.

“I’m probably being presumptuous, but I was thinking about asking you to marry me. I was hoping this meant something to you.”

“You have no idea how much this meant to me. You are the first man I ever made love to. It was beyond any expectations I may have had. It wasn’t just the sex thing; which I must admit was fabulous. It’s the fact you confirmed my sexuality. I have thought a great deal about you ever since we first met. It just took a long time for me to realize the effect you had on me. I can’t think of any reason not to accept your proposal. I think we have a lot to learn about each other, and I think what we did last night and this morning is a great way to continue to learn about each other.

“I feel it’s very important for us to continue our bonding. I would suggest you move in here as quickly as possible. That will free up your unit, and we can continue to learn more about each other.

“There’s one other thing, If we are to be together, we need to be looking at a conflict of interest. I’ve been here for more than 12 earth years. It’s time I returned to Earth. EM Industries needs to give someone else the experience of managing this place. The second and third colonies will be ready to come on line soon, and they will have to get more experienced personnel to manage those operations.”

I advised HQ that I would be coming home. I’d been here for more than twelve years as I said, and it was time. Secondly, I told them that Rick and I would be married shortly, that it would be improper for him to be in my chain of command. Of course he would be coming with me back to earth. Thirdly, I hoped that EM Industries had positions for us that were appropriate for our experience and pay grade. They didn’t have any problem with it.

EM Industries could send supplies year round with their robot transports; however, the only decent time for human and animal transport was when Mars and Earth were fairly close in their orbits. When I began to realize something was going on, I seriously considered communicating with Sylvia. Then as I said it before, it would just take too long. Besides, Becky had explained things so well, and there was no question she was absolutely correct. I had finally grown up. I was so happy, and there was no question Rick was too. I did my best to keep him happy.

It would be several months before we could catch a ride back to earth, and I had a lot to do in the meantime. I figured my second in command was the logical choice to replace me; however, I thought she would also be the logical choice to take over the second colony. HQ agreed. Instead, we promoted Rick’s supervisor. Rick thought the world of him, as did I.

Perhaps I should explain a bit about the transportation between Mars and Earth, and Earth and Mars. Our ships at that time were able to accelerate at only a small fraction of G. Travelling was never in a straight line. There was an orbit that had to be calculated. Fortunately, the computers took care of all that. At the closest, there were about 55 million kilometers between the planets. There was this problem, though. Earth was moving about twice as fast as Mars because of its smaller orbit. There were a lot of orbital mechanics to be considered, but I didn’t have to worry about it. What was available was what was available. One other thing about our spacecraft. It had a counter rotating midsection that allowed the passenger area to simulate approximately 0.5 G, and that was more than we experienced on Mars. Rick and I had a passage scheduled, and we would be on it.

In the meantime, we had quite a bit to take care of. We were married three months after he proposed. Of course, Becky was my maid of honor, and Arnold was Rick’s best man. We had a wonderful non-sectarian ceremony. A few weeks later Becky and her family bid us farewell at the elevator. She and Arnold had decided long before they would remain on Mars. Their children were developing in the 0.38 G environment. They would always be tall and rangy. They did visit us on earth over the years, but the gravity was always difficult for them.

The trip for us would take seven weeks. We accelerated at very small G for several weeks, then decelerated at the same for the remainder of the trip to the elevator. It was a wonderful vacation. I was thoroughly pregnant by the time we arrived on earth. I couldn’t believe how happy I was. Rick was wonderful as he supported me through the good and bad times, mostly good, as my pregnancy advanced. We were going to have a little girl. Her name was Rebecca. There would be no doubt about that. By this time I had become the Director of East Coast Operations. This included the launch facilities in Florida for near earth orbit launches. EM Industries handled most of the operations there; however, there wasn’t really that much going on. My group also managed the two elevators. We currently had one in Ecuador, and another in Africa. We’d install another in Indonesia.

To say things went well would be an understatement; however, there is quite a bit that needs to be cleaned up in the figurative sense. There are still questions to be answered.

Introduction: I’m sure everyone has come across a story or two about someone finding that bottle or lamp that after the appropriate action releases a genie who will grant a certain number of wishes for the lucky person who happens to find it. Quite frequently, the person finding the genie doesn’t read the ‘fine print’ and the results are frequently not what the person making the wishes desired. The greedy and the dishonest seem to get the worst of it. In the case of this story, I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out.

Time flies when you’re having fun. Our two lovers have been married for 10 years; 10 very happy years, I might add. Now we are back in the town where Sandy’s adventure began. Rick had some business there, and the entire family came along. They were seeing America. Then Maxie showed up.

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This work is copyrighted by the author and any publication or distribution without the written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the characters to persons living or dead is coincidental.

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A Hackneyed Tale of Serious Gravity, Chapter 6
 

Chapter 6

Then there was that day we were back in the city where I lived prior to my wonderful transformation. Rick had some business there, and we decided it would be nice to take some time off so that the children could see some of the country. Yes, we had three by this time: little Rebecca who wasn’t so little at eight, Rick Jr. at four and a half, and Margaret who at eight months was still on the boob. You may be wondering, as was I, how could this be. I didn’t look any different from what I did when I first started working for EM Industries. According to the paper work, I was 55. I should be thinking about menopause, and that was obviously not happening. There was Rick, who at 45 didn’t have a grey hair on his head. I’d go to the doctor for checkups, and he never batted an eye about my age. He just commented about what great shape I was in. Rick had begun to wonder, too.

Rick and I had talked about it several years before, and I had no choice but to tell him about Becky’s and my transformations. I figured he’d have me committed. He just sat there nodding his head. I realized then that he knew more than I was aware of.

Rick opened up to me, “Back when I was working on my doctorate, I would take occasional breaks just to get away from things. I’d been divorced for almost a year at that point. I liked to fish, and on this particular day, I found a beautiful cottonwood tree shading the lower part of Cache Creek. I had a folding table and chair. I didn’t really care if I caught anything or not. I thought I’d take a look at a news article on my lap top about the new Facility Manager of the Mars settlement. Of course that person was you. I’d seen a couple of other articles about you. I’d opened the article, and there was your picture. I was a lost cause.

“Your academic accomplishments astounded me. Your papers on terraforming and the advantages of certain plants over others were eye openers. You just made my goals even clearer. That’s when I heard footsteps from an approaching hiker. There really wasn’t any reason for anyone to be walking out there. It was 41 degrees in the shade. I turned to see a very attractive woman standing behind me. She was looking over my shoulder at your picture.”

“She certainly is beautiful, isn’t she,” the visitor said.

“Yeah, I think I’m in love,” I said.

“I can certainly see why a man would say that. But there’s more, isn’t there?” she said.

“Yeah, she’s smart. She amazes me. I wish I had a chance with her; but that will never be.”

“Don’t be too sure,” she replied. “Just keep working the way you have been. You never can tell.”

“I turned to look at your picture, then I turned back to say something to her. She was nowhere to be seen.

“Four years later when you interviewed me for the job, I was a nervous wreck. How I stayed calm during your interviews, was beyond my comprehension. Then, you took me to dinner at one of the best restaurants in San Francisco. Thankfully, better senses prevailed. I wanted to make love to you then, but that would never do. I knew I might have a chance if I just played it cool. Thankfully, I did.”

“We do have a bit of an enigma, don’t we,” I said. “We are both aware magic is involved. It’s also fairly obvious our lives are being directed to a certain degree. I certainly have no complaints, though.”

As I said, that conversation took place several years ago. Rick never had a problem with it. We were very happy, and we saw no reason to question what happened, and now we were back where it all started for Becky and me.

“You’re checking out that facility in the morning. Are you doing anything in the afternoon?”

“No, I thought we might do a little tourist stuff. There are some very important historic sites around here. Then I thought we could have dinner at that very nice restaurant in the River Market. Did you have something in mind?”

“Yes. I think you and I and Rebecca need to take a little walk. I’ll get a sitter for a couple of hours. The hotel has a service available. I’ll send them a request.

“Right now, I’m going to feed Margie, then put her down for the night. Then you and I are going to take care of this itch I have.

After lunch the next day, and feeding little Margaret, we got ready to walk the main street in the small city. We probably wouldn’t walk more than 20 blocks. As it turned out, we walked only four. Rick Jr. insisted on accompanying us, and we decided it would be okay. We’d put him down for a nap with the sitter when we returned. I began to realize that both Rebecca and Rick Jr. needed to burn off some excess energy.

We walked a block to Main, then turned south down Main to take a look at the largely restored area. Much of it looked like the way it did in the early 20th Century. The downtown area was thriving. About halfway down the block I saw a sign I never expected to see: “Square Deal Pawn & Jewelry”. Under that was an additional sign that stated “Rare Coins & Stamps”. That wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. It was 25 years since I’d visited the shop the last time. Maxie didn’t have any offspring as far as I knew. I was sure he’d never married. Well he had several brothers who ran another pawn shop across the river. Maybe some of his family had taken the over the operation.

“Rick, let’s check out that pawn shop. I used to know the owner back before.”

This definitely wasn’t right. There was Maxie sitting on his stool, just like he always did. The shop looked just like it did the day I bought the perfume flask from him.

“That was quite a day wasn’t it, Sandy. I can see things are going well for you.

“Rick, it’s pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard nothing but the best about you.” Maxie said as he turned back to me.

“I don’t fucking believe it,” I said before I could stop myself.

“Mommy,” Rebecca chided, “you told me to never say that word.”

“Your mommy’s a bit surprised, Becca.” I turned to see Sylvia standing in the doorway to a back room.

“Nice to see you again, Rick,” She said turning to Rick. “Things worked out just the way you wanted, didn’t they.”

“Auntie Sylvia,” Becca almost shouted as she, followed by Ricky, Jr rushed to give Sylvia a hug.

Rick, Sr. was as astonished as I was. I turned back to say something to Maxie, but Maxie wasn’t there. Instead there was a rather handsome dark haired man who appeared to be in his early thirties. He might have had some Hispanic heritage. He had the most beautiful brown eyes, and they seemed to have gold flecks in them that caught the light. Rick’s eyes are blue, by the way.

“Folks, let’s go to the office through that door. There are so many things we need to bring you up to date on.”

It was a nice homey place. I would hardly think it was a back room to a pawn shop. There was a lovely fireplace. There wasn’t anything artificial about it. The strange thing was I knew there was a parking deck above the pawn shop. There couldn’t be a chimney going through the parking deck.

Before anything else, I had to find out about this ‘Aunt’ Sylvia thing. Obviously, my two oldest had met Sylvia; but where?

“Okay, I need to know how this beautiful young woman has become ‘Aunt Sylvia’ to my two older children.”

“Becca,” Sylvia said, “you’d better tell your Momma what happened.”

“Mommy, Daddy was mowing the lawn, and Ricky and I were playing. I knocked that pretty bottle off the fireplace. When I picked it up, I pulled the stopper out. Aunt Sylvia came out of a big cloud of smoke. It was kinda scary. She told us not to worry. She said she was our aunt, and we should do our best to help you and Daddy.

“When you and Daddy went out to run, we’d open the bottle, and Aunt Sylvia would come and teach us things. She asked us not to tell you until we met together. That was going to be today, and here we are.”

I looked at the young man who’d appeared to have been Maxie Itzkowitz a few minutes before. “Would you mind telling me what the he- er heck is going on? Obviously, our presence here was expected.”

“We never know how these things will work out for sure. When you first visited this shop many years ago….”

Sylvia interrupted, “May I take the children across the street for an ice cream cone? I think it would be better if they heard this a few years from now.”

“I agree,” the young man said.

Of course the mention of ice cream easily distracted our children from what was going on.

We waited until Sylvia escorted them out of the shop.

“As I was saying a moment ago, when you first entered this shop we were aware that you carried the witch trait. We also knew the inner you. More importantly we knew you and Becky didn’t have long to live.

“By the way, there aren’t any genies in this universe. According to my mentor, His Wisdom, there are some a few universes away, but I haven’t met them yet. Sylvia has been in charge of this project since the beginning, and we decided to let her run with it. She thought up the ‘genie’ approach’ just to see what you would do. If we had any doubts, those went away when you said your first wish was for your wife to regain her health. She performed both your transformations. She’s very good at that.

“I apologize for not introducing myself earlier. I am Donald Brewer. Sylvia is my great granddaughter. She really is an aunt to your children. However, I’ll have to let Myrna show you the family tree. Myrna Mankowitz and her husband, Avery, have been some of the most important people in our family who have helped us straighten out what’s going on. I won’t go into all the details at this time, but I’m sure you are aware of what some of the possibilities are; especially since you’ve experienced some of them.

“I am a wizard, only the second one in the last thousand years. There are many more now. You will meet all of them. Sylvia is a witch; as are you, I might add. We’ll go into that in more detail later. My grandmother, Marissa Lewis, is related to you. I’ll have to get Myrna explain it. Anyway, in your line the witch trait doesn’t always show up right away. You have always had the ability to know when someone was trying to pull the wool over your eyes. You can read minds, and you will get much better at it.

“Rick, you carry the witch trait. We’ve known that for a long time. We hoped you would find a witch or someone who carried the trait so that you could pass it on. There is a problem, though. It won’t work unless there is true love between the partners. Fortunately, your infatuation with Sandy was far more than infatuation. We just needed Sandy to figure it out. It didn’t take any work on our part for you two to fall deeply in love. We didn’t have to do a thing; not that we would have, other than make sure you met.

“By the way, your daughters are magic. Rebecca knows she is, and that you are, too. All your children will pass on the wizard trait. We are so happy we found you.

Of course the direction of our lives changed drastically that day. Rick and I were quite wealthy. There was a huge monetary bonus for working on Mars. Interplanetary travel was still a bit of an unknown for many, and the thought of extra cash was the lure some people needed to go to Mars and the other planets. EM Industries was already looking at Venus. That would be a lot tougher than Mars, but it was doable.

As for Rick and me, we left EM Industries. We had invested wisely, and owned a nice portion of EM Industries, plus a lot of other important concerns. By this time, we knew we had a long life ahead of us. We decided to open up an antique business in West Hartford. It was two doors down from one of the best restaurants in New England. The owner and her wife are delightful. We had moved to the same little hidden community where they lived. It was interesting that it was a bit larger than it appeared from the outside.

That day we found out so much about us, Don told us about the County Humane Society that was west of town. I knew about it. We drove out there and found four of the most delightful little kittens. We donated a considerable sum to the organization. We did not have the kittens fixed. They were perfect passengers on the three day trip back to Hartford. They bonded to the children immediately. A little Calico decided I was hers.

I did have one wish left, although I really knew by that time, that was just a lure to make sure I did what I did. I missed Becky and her family.

“Sylvia, I never used that last wish. I would like to cash it in, if I may.”

“Of course you understand that was all a ploy to get you to do what you did. By the way, you do realize we never increased your IQ. As His Wisdom told you, we can’t mess with your mind. You did everything on your own.”

“I understand; however, you promised three wishes. When Becky and her family visit, Earth’s gravity is really tough on the children. I wish that when they visit that the difference in gravity would no longer be a problem for them.”

“We can do that. Anything else?”

“Well, if you are still granting wishes, I would like to be able to keep the Fabergé perfume bottle.”

Some Final Notes:

The metric system of measurement is really a far better system than the American system used today. There is no consistency among the various systems. I don’t need to explain how it works; however here are some easy conversion factors. When kilometers are given as a distance measurement, just divide the amount by 1.62 to get miles. If dimensions are given in centimeters, divide by 2.54 to get inches. Temperature is a bit more difficult. Multiply the temperature by nine, then divide by five and add 32. For example 41C equals approximately 105 F.

Mars is a planet with a very similar daily cycle as the Earth. Its solar day 24 hours, 39 minutes and 35 seconds. A Martian day (referred to as “sol”) is therefore approximately 40 minutes longer than a day on Earth. Of course a windup watch won’t work there. For convenience, keep all time measurements the same. Hours, minutes, and seconds don’t change. Just add another 39 minutes and 35 seconds to the day. We’ll call that extra time Lagniappe, just something extra. Any good digital watch could handle it. We added it after 12:00 PM. People should be able to adjust to it.

Since Mars is further from the Sun compared to the Earth, a Martian year is longer – it’s 687 days, or 22 times 31 +5. The extra 5 days could be interspersed anyway you wanted. The names of the months aren’t important.

At just 0.376 of the Earth’s gravitation (or 37.6% g), a person who weighs 100 kg on Earth would weigh only 38 kg on Mars. A kilogram is approximately 2.2 pounds.

There will be a test next Monday.

Much in this little vignette was based on a wonderful series of three SF novels by Kim Stanley Robinson. The novels are “Red Mars”, “Green Mars”, and “Blue Mars”. If any of you SF buffs out there haven’t read them, you should.