Byline
Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Note: You may be interested in reading what could be considered the prequel to this story. Casey's Halloween is the story of C J's first time dressing as a girl to help out his sister and her friends win a contest. While it is not necessary to read it, that Halloween night is mentioned in this story.

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Not again. I wish they would stop doing this. The look on his face was barely enough to make it worthwhile.

"I didn’t know. Hey, I'm sorry man. They told me… Really, C J, I'm sorry."

Jim from purchasing walked away from my desk as fast as he could without running. If there had been a door on my cubicle, I’m sure he would have run into it. I sighed. Jim is a nice guy. He had come over to ask if I wanted to go out after work. Maybe get a drink and something to eat. We could talk and get to know each other. I couldn't blame him for wanting to try. It was the guys in Purchasing playing a prank on a new employee or intern. Someone in Purchasing would have told him I had been asking about him. Someone would say I had mentioned he was cute adding I might want to get to know him. They would have told him I was shy. Maybe even said I was still a bit of a tomboy. It would be quite a build-up. He would have believed everything they told him. They all do. What they wouldn’t tell him is… I’m a guy.

I’m not what you would call a poster boy for masculinity. My slight build, shoulder-length copper hair, beardless face, and the fact I’m androgynous has people always trying to decide if I'm male or female. They mostly error on the female side. You would think I would be used to it. Even though it's something I’ve come to expect, it still bothers me. Other than my hair being long, and in a low ponytail, it’s not like I try to look feminine. People don’t see me for the guy I am. Nature didn’t give me the masculine build I hoped puberty would bring.

It's been like this ever since I was young enough to care. I was frequently called Miss Casey Jean Cummings in school. Yeah, my parents named me Casey Jean. Casey isn’t that bad. I don’t mind it as much as my second name. Everyone pronounces it the American way. My second name is pronounced like “Shawn” as in Jean-Claude Van Damme. Mom always liked him.

I was constantly being mistaken for a girl, especially when my sister and I were together. I hated it when I would get a girl's toy when we went for fast food dinners. My parents were always correcting people. Sometimes my mother would let it slide. I would get mad and complain. She would smile and tell me this was not the time to fight that battle.

It wasn’t as bad in college. I had a few short-lived and non-serious girlfriends. I did find a group of friends, Amy, Matt, and Jo. We were together from our freshman year to our senior year. We still get together when we can. We all stayed in the Philadelphia area. I studied journalism in college and went on to get my master’s degree.

Bringing me to my current job. I was excited to be working at the magazine. My first year here has been great. Everyone in my department knows I'm a guy. I'm still waiting to get my first important feature story with my byline but I know that will come. As an embarrassed Jim was walking away, my manager, Jennifer Norton, stopped by my desk.

“We’re going to lunch in half an hour. Get yourself ready,” she said.

“No problem, boss,” I said. Our department goes to lunch together every Friday. It’s another thing I like about working here.

~~0~~

A half-hour later, Jennifer and I walked to the elevator where Cindy and Rita were waiting. “Where the guys?” Jennifer asked.

“They’re in with Mr. Wallace,” said Cindy. “They told us to go on ahead and they will meet us there.”

It was a short walk to the restaurant. I held the door as Cindy went in first and right up to the hostess. “Reservation for Cindy.”

The hostess checked her sheet. “Yes, right this way ladies.”

I cringed and rolled my eyes. Damn it. I’m not dressed like a woman. I decided to keep my mouth shut. I think Jennifer noticed my reaction but didn’t say anything. We got settled at the table and ordered our drinks. The guys got there as our drinks were served.

The conversation is always lively around the table at our Friday lunches. Over the appetizer, Cindy Clayton let us know of an article idea she had proposed to management that morning. Cindy took a sip of her diet soda and put the glass down.

"I tell you, men do not know what women have to go through to go out on a date," she said. "They think women just throw on a dress and they're ready to go."

"That's what I do," Chad said. Everyone looked at him. His face turned beet red as he realized what he had said. "I mean I throw on a pair of pants and a polo shirt, not a dress." The guys gave him some good-natured ribbing.

"See what I mean? That's the opinion of 80%, maybe 95%, of the guys out there. The article would be about what a woman goes through to get ready for a date."

"How about getting ready for the day, period," said Rita. "I mean guys don't think about whether they need to shave their legs before work or cover them up with a pair of tights or pants."

"Hey, I have to decide to shave my face every morning," Brian said.

“Sure, but if you decide not to, you can tell everyone you're growing a beard. No one cares if a guy comes in with a hairy face, but if a woman came in with hairy legs..." Rita let the thought sink in. “And how about makeup? Do you have to worry about putting on makeup in the morning?”

The ladies continued to make their case. I sat there listening. Cindy and Rita made some good points. I never thought about what a woman has to do to get ready for the day, for work, for school, or for a date. I had seen my sister getting ready for a date. It always did seem like a lot of work. I thought it might make an interesting story. Being the newest of the group, I kept quiet and listened.

~~0~~

My sister and I had decided to go to our weekly dinner that night. She worked closer to the restaurant and usually arrived first. I met her outside and we walked up the three steps as a couple of patrons walked out. It was early. The restaurant was not crowded.

“Table for two ladies?” asked the hostess.

I cringed again as Abbey said yes and we were taken to our table. We settled into our seats. Abbey noticed my discomfort.

“I didn’t think being mistaken for my sister bothered you that much,” she said.

“It still does a bit. Especially today.”

“Okay, what happened?” she asked

“The guys in Purchasing got another new employee to try to ask me out. Then when we went to lunch the hostess there did the same thing as here,”

“Purchasing did it again? I’ve told you to report them to HR.”

“It’s okay. It’s just annoying.”

Abbey's eyes looked over the top of her menu at me. “With an attitude like that, maybe you should be wearing a skirt.”

“Hey,” I said. Her comment startled me.

“C J, you need to stand up for yourself more.”

I stared at my menu. “Let’s change the subject.”

“Okay, how’s the job going? Any idea as to when you’ll get your first feature assignment?”

~~0~~

Monday afternoon my desk phone rang. The display showed it was my manager Jennifer.

“C J, I want to see you in my office,” she said.

“Be right there.” I hung up and sat there for a moment. I began to wonder if I had done something wrong. I got up to go to her office and knocked some papers from my desk to the floor. I picked them up and headed to her office. I tapped on the glass window on her door and she waved me in.

“Sit down C J.” I made myself as comfortable as one can when sitting across from the boss.

“I was told purchasing sent another employee over to your desk to ask you out the other day.”

I sighed. “Yeah. It’s nothing.”

“C J it is something. It could be considered harassment,” she said. “Why don’t you report it to HR?”

“It’s their employee they are harassing, not me. I guess you could say I’m the prop. The only part that bothers me is that the guys they send over actually think I’m a girl. It’s been like that all my life. I’m mostly used to it. The other day, it got to me. I wish people could see me as me.” I stopped to take a breath, “It’s frustrating. I don’t try to look like a girl. Even now, when I go out to dinner with my mother and sister or like lunch on Friday, the hostess usually says, right this way ladies. I don’t dress like a woman, I dress like a guy, but people still see a girl. It wears on me. I mean, how can I know who I am when everyone around me can’t tell what I am.”

“C J you shouldn’t look to others to find out about yourself,” Jennifer said. “You find yourself by looking within. You shouldn’t care how people see you. That doesn’t matter. What matters is how you see yourself.”

I knew Jennifer was trying to help. I frowned. “I see myself just fine. It’s other people that are the problem.”

“If the situation with purchasing starts to bother you. I will have HR talk with them.” She paused. “Let me get to the reason I asked to see you.” She opened a folder and put it flat on her desk.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked somewhat sheepishly.

She laughed. "No, not at all. I want to hear what you thought of Cindy's article idea.”

“The idea she talked about at lunch on Friday?” I said. "I thought it was interesting. I’ve never considered what women go through to get ready for the day. I’ve seen my sister getting ready. She always did seem to do more than I did. I’d always tease her about the time it took her to get ready. It would be interesting to find out what a woman does to get ready for a date."

“Are you interested enough to help with the article?”

My eyes lit up. “Am I? Sure! Do you mean it?”

“Yes, I mean it.” She smiled. “I think you’re ready for a feature article. This one especially.”

“I’ll do whatever I can.”

“Let me talk with Don and Cindy.”

“Thanks!” I said. I got up and left the office feeling good about myself. Back at my desk, I wondered who I would be interviewing for the article

~~0~~

The month dragged on as it does when you’re waiting for something. Jennifer hadn’t mentioned Cindy’s article idea since our meeting. I wanted to ask but I didn’t think it was my place. I figured the article idea was dead. Even though I was disappointed, I took some solace in the fact they had considered me for the article. Hopefully, I’ll get the next one. I continued to do my work and I put the whole thing out of my mind.

~~O~~

I returned to my desk after dropping stuff off at the artwork department. Sitting on top of a pile of mail was a note from Jennifer asking me to see her. I picked it up and went to her office. I knocked on her door.

“You asked to see me?” I asked as I stepped into her office.

“Yes, sit down. Close the door."

I got nervous when she said that. Is closing the door to your boss's office ever good?

“From our discussion a while back you mentioned being mistaken for a girl bothers you. I’ve seen your reaction at some of our lunches..”

I sighed. “Yeah, sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Okay, more than sometimes. Puberty wasn’t all that good to me. I’ve never developed the physique I was hoping for. I can’t tell you the number of times I have been mistaken for Abbey’s sister. People just don’t see me as me.”

“Abbey is your sister, right? Do you have any pictures?”

“Sure.” I brought out my phone and pulled up some photos of my sister and handed it to Jennifer. She studied it for a minute.

“There is no mistaking you and your sister are related. You look very much alike. I can see how people could make that mistake.”

Jennifer handed my phone back to me.

“C J, have you ever dressed as a girl?”

I could feel my face blush. It wasn’t a question I was expecting. “One time at Halloween during high school. One of Abbey’s friends was seriously into Cosplay. She talked the group into being the Sailor Scouts. They ended up needing another person to make the correct number of scouts after one of the girls got sick.” I looked down at the ground before continuing. “I was talked into being Sailor Mars. Everyone thought I was actually a girl that night.”

“So you’ve gone out dressed. Have you done it since?”

“Gone out dressed like a girl? No, only that one time,” I said quickly. I didn't mention I was one of the guys playing female parts in an all-male version of a Shakespeare play in college.

“I’ve heard you mention taking an acting class or doing some acting. Tell me about it?”

“I took some acting classes while in college. I got a part in some plays. I never did get a lead role. I did get some speaking parts. I like the theater.”

She looked down and drummed her fingers on her desk. When she stopped, She looked me in the eyes.

“I told Don of your interest in helping out with the article. The article's idea has changed. It’s evolved. Rather than having a woman write about what women go through on a daily basis, we’re going to have a guy learn what it is like to be a woman. That guy will present as a woman for a year and write about the experience.” She paused and leaned back in her chair.

I filled the ensuing silence. “You want a guy to live as a woman for a year and report on the experience.”

“That’s correct.”

“So I would be interviewing this person and writing the articles?” I asked.

“Not exactly,” she said. I wasn’t sure I liked where this was going. “We want you to write the articles. We also want you to be the guy living as a woman.”

I wasn’t sure I had heard her correctly. “Wait. What? You want me to become a woman?”

“No C J. Not become a woman. Live as a woman. We want you to experience what women go through every day, the pressures society puts on women. Coming from a man, it’ll be quite an article.”

My eyes went wide as the realization of what she was asking of me sank in. “You’re nuts. You want me to live as a woman for a year? I don’t like it when someone mistakes me for a woman. Now you’re asking me to live as one. On purpose. Forgive my bluntness but you’ve got to be crazy.”

“Far from it.” She got up and walked behind her chair. “The thought is if a woman writes the article, it will come across as another woman complaining. It will get brushed aside and filed under hundreds of other articles.” She leaned forward, her arms resting on the back of her chair. “Think of the impact if a guy lives as a woman and goes through those experiences. If a guy feels the pressures society puts on women and reports on it, it could disabuse the idea that women are reacting to some sort of paranoia.”

“I’m not sure I’m the right person for this. I don’t want to be a woman. I’ve never wanted to be a woman. Why not get a guy who is trans-gendered?”

“We don’t want someone who wants to be a woman. We want a guy who will live as a woman and write about it.” She sat back in her chair. “It’s not like you haven’t experienced some of society’s pressures already. You’ve said it yourself, most people see you as a woman. How does it make you feel when purchasing plays their prank? You are experiencing what a woman goes through when being asked out. Society’s pressures on women are affecting you also. In the article, you would be writing about what a woman goes through but from a man’s point of view. It’ll be a powerful article. Best of all, it will be the feature story. It'll have your byline.”

“I don’t know about this. I don’t know if I want to do this,” I said. I slumped back in my chair. Jennifer sat up and opened a folder on her desk.

“You said you like the theater, you like acting. Think of this as finally getting your lead role.” She smiled. “We’re not going to just give you a dress and say here, start writing your article.” Her eyes scanned a page in the folder. “You will be given an intensive, month-long training on how to present as a woman. The instructor is well-known and teaches actors to portray women on stage and in movies. You will be prepared to present as a woman to the world.” She closed the folder then continued.

“I know this is a lot to take in. I want you to keep an open mind. There are quite a few perks built into this assignment.” She patted the folder. “I’ll tell you about them if you decide to take it.” I started to say something. A shake of her head stopped me. I don’t need an answer now. Take time to think about it. Get back to me in a day or so.”

I left her office and went back to my desk. Our conversation was playing through my head. What the fuck is she thinking? The magazine wants me to live as a woman. They want me to present as a woman for a year, intentionally. A year! I don’t want to live as a woman. She said it’ll be the feature story with my byline. I could think of nothing else for the rest of the day.

~~O~~

My conversation with Jennifer was still on my mind when I got home. I remembered the first and only time, other than the theater, I ever presented as a girl: that Halloween with my sister and her friends. In costume and makeup, everyone said how much I looked like my sister. I almost wimped out. I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to be seen in the short-skirted costume. Once out, I had a great time as one of the girls. Halloween is only one night. This would be a year. Why would I agree to this? Why am I even thinking about doing this? I kept coming back to what Jennifer said. It would be the feature story. It would be my byline. Could I live as a woman for a year?

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Thanks for reading. If you are interested, my story 'Casey's Halloween' is the backstory to the Halloween event mentioned in this story.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine
Comments welcome.

Byline chapter 2

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.

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Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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At work the next day, Jennifer didn’t say a word to me about the assignment. Which I was happy about. The only decision I made was to call my sister. After lunch, I picked up my phone and called her.

“What’s up little brother,” she answered.

“Hi, Abbey. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, your timing is perfect. I’m getting ready to go back to work. I had a late lunch. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is fine. I’d like to talk with you about something that came up at work.”

“I told you you need to talk with HR. They have to stop…”

“No, it’s not that. Are you free tonight? We can go to dinner.”

“Dinner early this week. Must be serious. What do we need to talk about?”

“I need your opinion on a feature assignment I’ve been asked to take for the magazine.”

“You got a feature assignment already? That’s great!”

“Not yet. I’ve been asked if I want to take the assignment. So how about it?

“I’m free tonight. Where should I meet you?”

“How about that restaurant you wanted to go to?

“Are you paying?”

“Yes, I’m paying.”

“Then I’m in.” She laughed. “What time?”

How’s seven o’clock sound?”

“Great. See you there.”

We hung up and I sat there holding my phone. I began thinking about what it might be like to be a woman for a year.

~~0~~

I got to the restaurant first for a change and was seated. I saw my sister enter the restaurant. Standing up, I waved. Seeing me, she came over to the table.

"Hey there little bro," she said. We hugged. We're a hugging family. She put her bag down and sat.

My sister, Abigail, is the quintessential girl, um, woman. Even coming from work, she looked great. Her hair was perfect. The little makeup she wore to work was perfect. Her nails were done perfectly. Her nurse’s uniform looked perfect on her. Even her bag made her look good, okay, perfect.

Abbey, she hated to be called Abigail, was the same height as me, around 5'6" without heels. We both had similar builds. I like to say I'm small-boned. Along with the same copper-colored hair, we shared the same green eyes. With me being androgynous, we look very much alike. Which is why I was often mistaken for her sister.

A waiter came over and filled her glass with water and refilled my glass. He said he would give us a few minutes to decide. Abbey took a sip of water.

"I can’t believe you got an assignment," she said after putting down her glass.

“I’ve been asked to consider an assignment.”

“You’ll get it if you say yes,” she said.

“I’m not sure about accepting it. Let's order first."

She picked up her menu and looked over the entrees. I’m sure she checked the prices.

"Are you sure you can afford this?"

"Yes, I’ve been saving. Order whatever you like."

"Okay," she said.

The waiter came back and asked if we had decided. He took our order. As he was leaving I changed my drink to a vanilla milkshake. He then left to put in our order.

"You and milkshakes." She shook her head and laughed.

"I can't get enough of them."

“Now what’s this assignment you’ve been asked to do?”

I paused for what seemed to be a long time.

“I was offered an assignment to write about the pressures society puts on women.”

“Interesting, sound like you’ll be interviewing a lot of women.”

“Well, no. I won’t be interviewing anyone.”

“Then how are you…”

"The assignment I was offered is to live as a woman for a year,” I blurted out. “As a man, I can contrast living as a woman to living as a man." I went on to explain the details of the assignment.

She looked at me as if I was crazy. "You’re joking, right? They’ve given you an assignment to be a woman for a year?"

"I’m not joking.”

"You're going to let them turn you into a woman for a whole year?"

"I would be living and presenting as a woman for a year, more or less."

“C J, you hate it when people mistake you for a girl. You’re really thinking about accepting this assignment?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure. Maybe.”

"I can’t believe you’re considering this."

"Abbey, it'll be my story. My first feature story with my byline."

"You’re letting them turn you into a woman for a year to get a story. You’re doing this willingly? Doesn't that seem a bit weird to you? Doing all this for a story?”

“They’re not turning me into a woman. They’ll be training me to present as a woman.”

“And you want to do this? You seriously want to do this just to get a story?”

“Abbey, It’s a feature story. I'll be giving a man’s perspective on what society expects of women. Don’t you see? It’ll be unique. It’ll be compelling.”

“You didn’t answer. Do you really want to do this?” I didn’t answer right away. When I did, I spoke very calmly.

“Most of my life I have been mistaken for a girl. How often was I called little girl growing up? How many times did people think I was your sister? I’m still mistaken for a woman almost every day. Hell, guys at work have asked me out thinking I’m a woman. If I’m going to be mistaken for a woman, I might as well try being a woman. The magazine is giving me this opportunity. Abbey, it’s going to be my byline!” I was silent for a moment. “I’m thinking about accepting it.”

Abbey studied me. I could see the wheels moving inside her head. “You’re serious,” she said. “You’re really serious. You want to try being a woman.”

“Just for the year. When the article is finished, I go back to being me.” Looking directly at her I said, “I would like your help during the year.”

“My help? Why?”

“I’m going to need someone to talk to if things get tough. I’m going to need you to keep me going if I try to wimp out. More than that, if I’m going to present as a woman, I want to emulate you.”

“Me? That’s funny. Why me?”

“Because you’re the most complete woman I know. You’re confident, know what you want. You’ve always had great fashion sense. After my training, I’m going to need someone to lean on.”

“I’m not all you think I am. Hmm…I don’t know.” She was silent for a minute.

"C J, you realize it's not like going to a costume party. You won’t be able to come home, take your costume off and be back to being you."

"I know. Remember that Halloween you talked me into being Sailor Mars?" I asked.

"Oh my God, I remember. You looked so good."

"Remember how I hated it at first? The skirt was too short. I’m not leaving the car. I can't walk in these heels. Someone will recognize me. I was scared to go out. By the end of the night, I was having a blast with you and your friends. I liked being one of the girls. I was accepted. I even danced with a guy. It was the best Halloween I ever had. If the year is going to be anything like that night, I think I can do it."

“If you’re serious about doing this, I’ll help as much as I can. I still think you're crazy. Think about it for another day or so. I think our food is coming. Let’s eat.”

~~0~~

I didn’t take Abbey’s advice to think about it. The next day, I asked Jennifer if I could see her. She said she would be free at 1:30. It was just after 2:00 when she was able to see me.

“I’m sorry about the delay, C J. What did you need to see me about?”

“It’s about the assignment. I have decided to accept the assignment.”

Jennifer gave me a serious look. “Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?”

“I’m sure. I spoke with my sister and she had agreed to help me if I need any help.”

“Okay then. Let’s discuss the assignment.” She opened her bottom drawer and took out a folder, put it on her desk, and opened it. “For this assignment, you will be living as a woman for a year. You will have four weeks of training. After that, you will live and work 24/7 completely as a woman.

“You will be provided with prosthetics to give you breasts and a vagina. You will live in a company apartment. We will pay for your current apartment for the year. We will provide a complete wardrobe to get you started. You will be given a credit card for expenses. As long as what you spend pertains to the article, it will be approved. You will use the card to purchase food, clothing, makeup, and whatever else you might need. We will be monitoring what you spend so don’t go overboard.

“One other thing. During this assignment, you will, technically, not be working here. You will be working at jobs you will interview for as a woman. We will set up the interviews. You will change jobs every so often. The magazine will continue to pay you. You get to keep whatever you make at your other jobs. You will submit articles periodically.” She closed the folder. “We’re asking a lot from you. I think you’ll be well compensated. You’ll like the apartment.”

Thoughts swirled in my head: trained to present as a woman, live as a woman, work as a woman. I get a new apartment, two salaries, a nice budget, and my by-line. The only drawback was the woman part. It’s not like people haven’t thought I was a girl all my life. I’ll be presenting as a woman for a year. Essentially, the only thing I would be doing differently is wearing women’s clothing. It’ll be my byline.

“Here…,” Jenifer handed me the folder. “This explains in detail what we have gone over.” She handed me another paper. “I need you to sign this saying you understand what we expect and accept any consequences that may arise.” I gave the form a quick read and signed the form. She handed me another piece of paper. “You need to see the doctors on this form. We’ll make the appointments. We want to be sure you are mentally and physically able to undertake this assignment. It’s for insurance purposes.”

I took the form.

“Here’s the key to the apartment and your credit card. Take your sister to dinner then go see the apartment. You’ll like it. You have 3 days to change your mind. After that, there’s no turning back.”

~~0~~

When I got home that night, I made myself some coffee. I put a small scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. I began to read the information in the folder while it melted. It was all there, just as Jennifer had said. After reading it a second time, I put the folder down and stared at the wall. I had agreed to be a woman for a year. What the hell am I doing.

~~0~~

The doctor appointments were made and I went as directed. Even though the doctors had been briefed on my assignment, it was still a little awkward. As suggested, I took Abbey out for another dinner.

”They’re giving you an apartment and paying for your current apartment? That’s unreal!”

“I can’t believe it myself. I’ve got the key. Do you want to go see it after dinner?”

“Sure!”

We took a cab to the apartment building after dinner.

“This is your apartment building? Wow! This is one of the nicest apartment buildings in the city!”

We went into the building and through security. We took the elevator to the 3rd floor and walked around the corner to my apartment. I opened the door to let her walk in. We were both wide-eyed as we entered and began looking around.

There was a living area with a couch, a desk, and a 55 inch flat-screen TV on the wall. The walls were a pastel purple. The kitchen area was off to the left with a kitchen island to prepare meals. To the right were the two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. One was painted a pastel blue the other was a soft coral.

"It's so neat. Are you sure this is yours?" she teased. Did I mention I’m not exactly the neatest person?

"I haven't started living here yet. Give me time."

We walked around the apartment taking it all in. We entered one of the bedrooms. There was a queen-size bed with pink bed sheets, a pink bedspread, and a ruffled bed skirt. There was a makeup table along the wall stocked with makeup, nail polish, and perfume sitting out all neatly arranged. She looked around the room and then at me.

"This is some apartment."

We went to the kitchen and found there was an espresso machine. “Look at this, “I said. “Want a latte?”

I made Abbey and myself a latte. The smell of coffee was in the air as I brought our drinks to the table. I set one in front of her before I sat. I took a sip. Abbey put both hands around her cup before lifting it to her mouth to taste the hot liquid. She put her cup down and looked at me and shook her head.

"Well, the apartment certainly has a feminine feel. You’re sure you want to do this?"

“I’ve signed the papers,” I said. “I’ve can back out but I think I can do this.”

“You sure you won’t wimp out?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel I’m all in and other times I wonder what I’m doing. With your help, I think I can do it.”

“About that…” She got up and went to the bedroom. I followed her. “I want to see the prosthetics you’re going to wear.”

I went over to the dresser. After fumbling around, I found the latex breasts forms and vagina. “This is what they gave me.”

Abbey took the lifelike devices from me and examined them carefully. She handed them back to me and sat on the bed. She looked at me and her tone got very serious.

"C J, this is not a costume party. You won’t be able to come home, take your costume off and be back to being you. When does your training start?”

“I’m not sure. I think next Monday.”

“Your prosthetics are really high quality but I think you need something to make you feel more feminine. You need something to remind you every day you are a woman. Something that will keep you from backing out. I know I told you I would help but I have one condition. If you want my help, you have to do what I am about to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“You haven’t heard what I’m going to tell you yet.”

“I’ll do whatever you tell me to do. I want your help.”

“If you agree to my suggestion it will show me you are serious. If you don’t agree, I think you should drop it. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

“For me to help you, I can’t believe I’m saying this, you need to get breast implants.”

“Breast implants?” I stared at her not believing what I just heard. “You want me to have breasts? That’s what the prosthetics are for.”

“Yes, but you will need to remove them often. When you do, you might be tempted to not put them back on for hours. With implants, you have no choice. They will be with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Breasts are a sign of femininity. They will be your reminder you are not a male for the year. You won’t be able to wimp out if you have your own breasts. If you really want to do this and want my help, that’s my condition.”

”I’m going to take off the latex vagina. Do you want me to get a vagina too?” I said sarcastically.

“You’re only going to see that half of you when you go to the bathroom or look in a full-length mirror. You’ll see your breasts even when you brush your teeth. You’ll feel them when you move. More important, you’ll know they are your breasts. You won’t be a guy in a padded bra.”

“I don’t know about getting breasts.”

“You want my help, that’s my condition.”

“I don’t know if the magazine will go along with this.”

“Let me talk with them. Set up a meeting first thing Friday morning. I’ll schedule your implant surgery for Friday afternoon. And no eating or drinking after midnight Thursday.”

“What if they say no? Will you still help me, be there for me if I need to talk or need help?”

“They won’t say no. If they do, I’ll still help.”

“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this. If the magazine agrees, I’ll get the implants.”

She looked at me surprised.

“I didn’t think you would do it,” Abbey said.

“What? This was a test?” I said.

“I needed to know you were serious.”

“So I don’t have to do it?” I asked.

“Oh, you have to get the implants if you want my help.”

“Only if they agree.”

“When they do, Friday evening I’ll be calling you sis. I’ve always wanted a sister.” She smiled.

~~0~~

Abbey and I were sitting in the conference room, along with Don, Cindy, and Jennifer. I made the introductions.

“Miss Cummings, C J said he has spoken to you about this assignment. He said you had some concerns?”

“Yes, Mr. Mueller. I've read the file he was given about the assignment. My concerns are about his well-being. He is my little brother after all.”

“We all like C J here. We are taking every precaution to make sure he is fine both mentally and physically.”

Don spoke about my evaluation by the doctors. He handed her the reports with the doctor’s stamp of approval. She paged through the reports.

“I’m pleased to see you have C J’s best interest in mind. I do have a suggestion. I’ve mentioned this to C J. He has agreed to follow my suggestion if you approve. I feel it is important C J feels as feminine as he can, full time, during this assignment. He told me about the prosthetics to give him breasts and a vagina.”

I cringed at the word vagina.

“He is going to have to remove both prosthetics occasionally. This would allow him to become male, even if for a few hours.”

“What are you suggesting, Miss Cummings?”

“Let him use the prosthetic for the vagina but I feel he needs to have breast implants.”

“Interesting. Go on,” Don said.

“Breast implants will mean he will have a constant reminder of what he is doing. Plus when he looks at himself in the mirror, he will see his breasts. He will feel them moving all day. When the assignment is over, the implants can be removed.”

I zoned out as the conversation continued. I don’t know how long it was before I heard Don say, “Miss Cummings that was quite insightful. I think you’re right. I’ll let you make the arrangements. C J, use the credit card to pay for the implants. So you know, your coach will be at the apartment on Monday morning. Your training begins then. Oh, you need to have this.” Don handed me a letter. “It’s a letter from the therapist stating you have a gender disorder and are in transition.”

“But I’m not…” I said as I took the letter.

“We know you’re not. It’s for you to have in case you need it. Keep it safe and a copy with you.”

Everyone left the room leaving me and Abbey sitting there. I was staring at the wall. I couldn’t believe they had agreed with Abbey. My sister put her hand on my shoulder.

“I told you they would approve. Get your things. You’ve got an appointment to keep.”

---

Thanks for reading.
Comments welcome

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 3

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

---

I woke up after my surgery. I was surprised I didn’t feel as groggy as I thought I would. I mean, right as I woke up I was a bit foggy but the fog burned off quickly. I saw a nurse checking a monitor. I was on a stretcher lying on my back. I started to move and the nurse told me to lie still and she would get the doctor. My chest felt heavy. I remembered why I was here. My hands came up and felt my chest. Where once my chest was flat, I now felt two soft lumps. It felt like there was a lot there. What size did my sister give me? What the hell was I thinking? I didn’t need to agree to get implants. I put my hands back by my side just as Doctor Gail Greer and my sister walked in.

“Welcome back Casey,” said Dr. Greer.

“Hey sis,” Abbey teased.

“How do you feel?” asked the doctor.

“Okay, I guess. I’m sore.”

"That sounds about right," she said. The doctor examined her work. “Casey, this is some of my best work. Let get you sitting up.”

The nurse and Abbey helped me to sit up. I felt a tugging on my chest and groaned at the twinge of pain.”

“You’ll get used to the feeling. The pain will go away in a few days. For now, you need to wear this.” She handed me a bra meant to give support after implant surgery. “You’ll be wearing this or something like it for a bit.”

“Here, let me help, sis,” Abbey said.

I put my arms through the straps while Abbey gently guided my new breasts into the cups and fastened the back. I was wearing a bra now. I’d be wearing a bra for the year. I began to think this was a mistake.

“Looking good, sis,” she said. "You're going to have to learn to do this yourself." I groaned.

“Thanks, Gail. I owe you,” said Abbey.

“Make sure I see this article,” said Dr. Greer. “The nurse will take care of the remaining paperwork. I’ll get back to my patients. It was nice meeting you Casey. Follow the instructions. Abbey, don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t Gail. Thanks again.”

The nurse handed me some papers.

“Here are your aftercare instructions. You have an appointment, back here, in 2 weeks. You can leave after you get dressed.”

I thanked the nurse.

“Come on, sis. Let’s get you dressed.”

Abbey helped me to my locker and unlocked it.

“I didn’t think your shirt would fit you after the surgery so I went out and got you this.”

Abbey pulled out a woman’s yellow polo shirt.

“Really, a woman’s shirt?”

“You’re going to need it. Might as well start now.”

I put the shirt on and fumbled with the buttons which caused Abby to giggle at me. I was going to have to relearn how to button shirts.

She handed me my jeans and a pair of woman’s sneakers with pink laces. I shook my head and put them on. I sat there in my outfit until I felt I could stand. I started to get up.

“Sit down sis. You’re not ready yet.”

“What do you mean? I’m dressed.”

“You have to put on your makeup.” She stood there and held up a lipstick tube next to her face. She twisted the end and exposed the light pink lipstick while making a kissing motion.

“Really? Can’t this wait till tomorrow?”

“Get used to it. You won’t be going out without some makeup for the next year. Now hold still.”

Abbey didn’t stop with just the lipstick. Before we left, she added some mascara and a little eye shadow. I went to the restroom before we left. I saw myself in the mirror and did a double-take. I stared at myself and watched as the reflection made every move I did. I looked so much like Abbey. I finished up and joined my sister. A short cab ride later, we were in my new apartment. I plopped down on the couch.

“You want to get something to eat,” Abbey said.

“Yes. I’m starving. How about we order in?”

“Not tonight, sis. You’re going out to show off your new assets.”

“What assets?”

She laughed. "Your boobs of course," she said.

“Haven’t I been through enough today? Now you want me to show these off?" I put my hands under my new breasts. "How big did you make me?” I asked.

“You said you wanted to emulate me, so you’re a 36 C. With the swelling right now, you’re probably a 36 D. I did what you wanted. You're the same size as me. Is that café still open a couple of blocks away?”

“The one with the good burgers? Yeah. A burger and fries sounds good right now.” I forced myself up from the couch.

“I want you to change first. Get out of those guy jeans. They spoil your look.”

“I have a look?” I said. Abbey nodded. "Okay, The magazine did provide clothes.”

I went to my room and opened dresser drawers until I found the one holding the jeans. I took off my old jeans. I looked at my legs as I sat on the bed. There wasn't much hair there but I needed to shave my legs tomorrow. I struggled to put on the new jeans. The magazine must have gotten the wrong size. I finally got them on. I hoped they would stretch out as I wore them. I walked out to the living room carrying my wallet and keys.

“Wow, they fit you great! And they look good on you. I might borrow them.”

“Fit me? They’re so damn tight I can hardly move. I think they’re the wrong size.”

“They’re fine. Woman’s clothes are tight. You want to show off that figure.”

“I have a figure?” I said.

Abbey came over and started walking around me.

“You definitely have a figure. I never noticed before you had breasts. I’m almost jealous.”

“Where the hell am I suppose to put my wallet and keys? I can’t get them in these pockets.”

“In your bag,” she said.

“My bag?”

“Your handbag. Women use them to hold their wallet, keys, makeup, and stuff.”

“I know what a handbag is,” I said.

“Did they provide you with one?”

“I don’t know. I guess. There should be something here.”

We searched and in the bedroom closet, we found a selection of different handbags and clutches.

“Wow! I am jealous. These are nice.”

“If you say so,” I said.

“What am I going to do with you?” Abbey perused the closet, reached in, and pulled out a tan cross-body bag. “Put your wallet and keys in here.” She saw my wallet as I did as she told me, “We’ll have to get you a new wallet. One to match your new look.” I glared at her.

She then handed me the makeup she used at the surgical center. I looked at her. "Why..."

“You’re going to have to freshen your lipstick after dinner. Especially the way you eat. I doubt you’re going to be able to keep your lipstick off your burger.”

“Lipstick on my burger? How do I keep lipstick off my food?”

She laughed. “We’ll have to find you a video on eating with lipstick.”

“There’s a special way to eat when wearing lipstick?”

Abbey laughed as we left for dinner. Now I was sure I had made a mistake.

~~0~~

Walking to the burger place was an experience. I could feel the extra weight on my chest. I could feel the bouncing of my new additions with each step I took. With each bounce came some pain. The support bra helped a lot. I folded my arms up to my chest in an attempt to stabilize my new boobs even more. Abbey noticed.

“You okay?” Abbey said.

“Yeah. I’m a little sore. I know what you meant when you said I needed something to remind me of what I’ve gotten myself into. With these, I’m not likely to forget.”

“Wait until you run with those boobs." I rolled my eyes at her. I couldn't imagine running right now. "We’ll get you a good sports bra.” I saw her smile.

As we walked, I was sure everyone would know I was a guy with breasts. However, I found no one was paying me any attention. In fact, people seemed to be paying less attention to me now than when I was dressed as a guy. Well, except for a group of guys we passed.

We were seated a table at the burger place. The waiter came right over.

“Can I get you ladies something to drink?”

“I’ll have water with a slice of lemon,” Abbey said.

“A chocolate milkshake, please,” I said. “And a water.” I noticed he was checking us out.

We looked at our menus while our waiter went to get our drinks. He returned, setting our drinks down.

“Ready to order or do you need more time?”

We both ordered burgers and fries. As the waiter was taking our order, I noticed he was looking at me. It was not the kind of look I usually get. He was checking me out. I was sure he was looking at my chest. He collected our menus while continuing to look at me. He smiled at us as he left. I immediately buttoned another button on my polo shirt. Abbey noticed and smiled. When the waiter was out of earshot, I turned to my sister.

“Did you see him looking at me?”

“He was looking at both of us, sis.”

“But you didn’t try to cover up.”

“Cover-up? What for? He can dream and I’ll let him. No harm done. Look, with those boobs, the guys are going to be paying a lot of attention to you.”

“I hope the swelling goes down soon,” I said. “Then I’ll look more like you.”

She laughed. “Like that’ll change anything. Get used to it sis. You’ve got a year to go.”

I looked at my beautiful sister sitting across from me. She was dressed similar to me in jeans and a top that discreetly showed just enough of the top of her breasts. I took a sip of my water. I realized she was right. Did I make the right decision in taking this assignment?

~~0~~

After we paid the check, we were almost to the door when we heard someone calling out. We turned to see our waiter carrying my bag.

“I’m glad I caught you. You left this at the table.”

He handed me my bag. I felt myself blush.

“Thank you so much. I can’t believe I left it there.”

“It happens more than you think. Have a nice night.”

He went back to take care of his tables. I checked my bag to be sure my wallet was still there and realized the waiter had also given me one of the restaurant’s business cards. He had written his number on the back and the words call me. I stared at it outside the café. Abbey turned to me and saw the card.

“Oh my gosh, your blushing!” she said.

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are.”

“It’s the light from the exit sign.” It was a flimsy excuse.

“Sure it is. I bet he thinks you left it on purpose.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Flirting sis. You left it there. He took the opportunity to write down his number and he brought it to you. Definitely flirting,” she teased.

Open-mouthed, I turned and began walking to the apartment. “I was not flirting.” I put the card in my bag.

“Now you’re pouting! Hey, wait up!” She caught up to me and started giving me instructions.

“You’re going to be carrying a bag for a year. It’s going to have everything you need in it, all your important stuff. The waiter found it and caught us before we left. You might not get so lucky next time. Think of it as a backpack for now until you get used to the idea of carrying a purse.”

I endured some more harmless teasing. By the time we got to my apartment, we were both laughing about the incident.

I dropped my bag on the table next to the door as we entered. Abbey hung her bag on the coat rack next to the table. I was beat.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed. I want to check your incisions.”

“Cleaned up? What do I have to clean up?”

“Makeup sis. You have to take off your makeup before bed. Then use moisturizer on your face.”

“I do?” Damn. Another thing to get used to.

“Yes, you do. So do I. Now into the bathroom with you.”

Abby helped me take off my top and bra. She checked and cleaned the incisions then helped me put the bra back on.

Next, Abbey instructed me on removing my makeup, washing my face, and using moisturizer. When we were done, we went to my room.

“Let’s see what night clothes they provided for you.”

She looked through my drawer and pulled out a pale blue nightie with matching panties.

“This is cute.” She continued looking and found a similar nightie in pink. She handed me the pink nightie.

“Put this on and get ready for bed.”

“I’d rather wear the blue.”

“Not tonight, I’m wearing the blue one. I’m staying the night.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t. It’s late so I’d rather stay here tonight. This way I can check your incisions in the morning, help you get washed and dressed and help you with your makeup. You’re going to try doing it yourself tomorrow. Night sis”

She hugged me, avoiding my chest, and left me in my room. I changed into the nightie she had given me. As I sat on the bed, I realized this had been my first day, well half-day, as a woman. I already hated it. The implants, makeup, clothing, learning to eat, all seemed too much. The more I thought about it, it seemed this was good for the article. I can contrast today with living as a man. I decided to start writing. I got my computer, booted it up, and began to write about the events of the day.

I wrote for about an hour. It was more of an outline. I’d flesh it out later. When I finished, I heard a noise in the living room and smelled the scent of popcorn in the air. I walked out and found Abbey sitting on the couch, wearing the blue nightie, watching a movie, and eating popcorn. She heard me close my door and looked over. I walked over to join her.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you. I couldn’t sleep. Did you know you have a ton of premium channels on your cable?”

I sat down next to her. She put the bag of popcorn between us. I enjoyed the moment. The two of us, in our nighties watching a movie. At a pause in the show, Abbey turned to me.

“Oh, I thought of something else you need. After breakfast tomorrow, I know exactly where I’m taking you.”

---

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Thanks for reading.
Comments welcome.

Byline chapter 4

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

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I woke up Saturday morning with my chest still feeling sore. I began to run a bath. Abbey came in and checked and cleaned my incisions. After yesterday, I don’t know why it felt weird having Abbey see my breasts. I collected what I needed and proceeded to take my bath. I washed and conditioned my hair. I shaved my legs and underarms. Next came washing my body. When done, I got out and wrapped a towel around me like a woman. I was careful to cause myself as little pain as possible. I used moisturizer on my body. When I finished, I sat thinking how much longer it took me to wash up than before. I knew I needed this in the article. After all, I’m comparing being a woman to being a man. I went out to my bedroom. Abbey was there going through my closet. She turned when she heard me come in.

“Hey sis, all done?”

“Yep.”

“Shave your legs?”

“Yep.”

“Shave your pits?

“Yep.”

“Use moisturizer?”

“Yep, just like you said.”

“Want help with your bra or can you handle it?”

“I think I can handle it but it would be less painful if you helped.”

“Come over here. Let’s get your bra on.”

It was funny hearing her say that. She was helping me to get MY bra on. When she finished I sat on the bed and wondered what I should wear today.

“I went through your drawers. I found a gaff for you to wear.”

“What’s a gaff?”

“It gives you a smooth front.”

She threw the garment at me.

“How do you know about a gaff?” I asked as I caught the gaff awkwardly.

“From my time working in the ER at the hospital. We had several cross-dressing patients. Figure out what you want to wear. I thought we would go to breakfast then stop at my apartment so I can change clothes. Then to the mall.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“I’m thinking my workout leggings, a sports bra, and top. Let me know when you’re ready,” she said.

Taking the hint, I went to my drawer and found a pair of black perforated sports leggings. I needed to wear the surgical support bra so I didn’t want to try the sports bra. I found a white long-sleeved top with black stripes on the sleeves. A pair of white sneakers completed the outfit. I sat down at my makeup table to do my makeup. I tried to remember what Abbey had done yesterday and duplicate it. After a few attempts, I managed to do a passable job with the mascara, shadow, and lipstick. I stood in front of the mirror to see if I liked the way I looked. As I stood there, I again noticed how much I looked like Abbey. I wondered if mom saw a picture of me, would she know it was me or think it was Abbey. I’m guessing she would know it was me. Mom’s always know. Abbey walked in as I was looking at myself.

“Not bad for choosing your outfit for the first time. I must be rubbing off on you. Let’s fix up your makeup a bit. You did good for a first attempt though.”

She sat me down and within minutes fixed my mistakes.

“Okay, you’re ready to go!” she said.

I just sat there.

“Abbey, this is too much. I’m not ready to go out,” I said

“What do you mean? You look great.

“I’m not ready to go out as a woman. I’m think I should wait for my coach to begin my training.”

“So you’re going to be a shut-in until then?”, she said. “You were okay last night.” She sat on the bed across from me. “Do you remember when you agreed to be Sailor Moon for Halloween? I trained you on how to walk in heels. Then mom made you go to dinner in a skirt. Halloween night you spent the entire party as a girl. You did fine. You have enough training for a shopping trip. Besides, you’ll be with me. I won’t let anything happen to my little sis.”

“I don’t know…”

“Go look at yourself in the mirror. Do you see C J or Casey Jean?”

I walked over to the mirror. I only saw Casey Jean.

“Well? Ready to go?” she said

I turned from the mirror and smiled. “Let’s go.”

“That’s my little sister”, she said.

“Will you cut that out?”

“I can’t call you my brother looking like that.” We laughed as we left the bedroom.

Abbey opened the front door and I started following her through. She stopped suddenly causing me to run into her.

“What gives?” I said mildly annoyed.

“Do you have your bag?”

I sheepishly turned around and got my bag from the table by the door. I walked past her and heard the door close.

“You’re pouting again,” she said. I heard her laugh. I had to smile too.

~~0~~

Contrary to Abbey’s original plan, we went to Abbey’s apartment first. While we were there, Abbey got a shower. As I was waiting for her, I wondered who spent more time getting ready this morning. Looking around her apartment I realized she was way neater than I was. Which wasn’t much of a surprise. There was not much out of place. I thought I should try to keep the new apartment as neat as I could.

Abbey came into the living room dressed in her workout outfit. She had blue leggings with light blue inserts along the side, a white sports bra, and a long-sleeved zippered light blue top that matched the inserts. Her sneakers were the same two blues as her outfit.

“Ready to go?”

“You bet. I’m starved.”

“Don’t forget your bag. You’ll need to freshen your lipstick after you eat,” she said. She smiled at me. I knew she was trying to get a reaction. I ignored her and grabbed my bag.

“Let’s go.”

~~0~~

We had brunch at a small restaurant near the Gallery. The inside was a kaleidoscope of colors. It seemed like every woman in the area was in the restaurant after their Saturday morning exercise or yoga class. Each wearing a colorful workout outfit. We didn’t stand out. We didn’t get many looks either as the wait staff was all female. I was okay with that.

I was looking at the menu and saw a bacon shell weave breakfast taco. The picture looked really good. I mentioned it to Abbey.

“Casey, you have to start eating better. I admit it looks good. Look at this. This is better for you. This is what I’m getting.”

She showed me the picture of low-carb spring breakfast bacon-asparagus hash. I frowned. It didn’t look as good as the bacon shell weave breakfast taco. Our waitress came over and asked for our order.

“We’ll take the bacon asparagus hash,” Abbey said. I’ll have a diet cola and she’ll have a vanilla shake.”

I perked up. “Could you make that a strawberry shake please?”

“Sure thing, honey. I’ll be right back with your drinks.” True to her word, she came right back, drinks in hand.

“You’re going to have to start exercising if you keep drinking those shakes. Gotta start watching your figure.”

I stuck my tongue out at her and took a long sip. I knew she was right. Especially if the rest of my clothing is as tight as the outfit I’m wearing now. Or as tight as yesterday’s jeans were on me.

It wasn’t long after we got our drinks that our food arrived. It wasn’t a bacon shell taco but it was good. We talked as we ate. By the time I took the last sip of my shake, we were ready to leave.

~~0~~

At the mall, Abbey began shopping. She wasn’t looking for anything in particular for herself. That didn’t stop her from looking at clothing, jewelry, or accessories. She stopped at a kiosk selling earrings, gold necklaces, and bracelets. My eyes just glazed over everything on display. Was I going to be doing this over the coming year? She called me over.

“What do you think of these?” She held up a pair of pure silver mismatched drip earrings with the moon and stars on one and the sun and stars on the other. They looked good as she held them up to her ears.

“They’re nice,” I said.

“You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“No, they’ll look great on you. You should get them.”

“Let me see,” She said. She held the earrings up to my ears and looked for a minute.

“I think so too. We’ll take them,” she said to the sales attendant. “Two pairs.”

“Great choice,” said the sales attendant. “I’ll get things ready.”

“Casey, get out your company card.”

“Why?”

“You’re paying. One of these is for you.”

“For me?”

“You’re going to need earrings. These are a nice start.”

I paid for the earrings and was told everything was ready and to come back and sit. It was then I realized the earrings were for pierced ears. Oh crap! I don’t want my ears pierced. Two pops and a sting in my ears later, piercing studs had done their job. I now had pierced ears. Abbey had been busy replacing her earrings. With a lot of thank you and care instructions, we left the booth.

“What is it with you? Two days in a row you cause me pain.”

“Beauty is pain little sis. Let me make it up to you. Let's go get a mani-pedi. It’ll be my treat. I’m having so much fun.” She was having fun but I wasn’t. First the shopping, the piercings and now a manicure and pedicure.

~~0~~

I had never been inside a nail salon. Abbey got a mani-pedi package for both of us. We sat side by side. Soon we were talking like the sisters we appeared to be.

Of course, my nails were a mess and I was told so. It was suggested I get nail extensions. Abbey told me to get the quarter-inch extensions. It wasn’t long before we were trying to decide on the color of nail polish we should get. Abbey selected a color called milky pink for us.

On the way out of the salon, I was checking my nails. I thought the extensions made them look nice. It was work and took time but I liked the results. It somehow made me feel good. Abbey caught me admiring my newly polished nails.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

“You know, I did. Too bad guys can’t do this,” I said.

Abbey didn’t say anything more as I continued to admire my nails.

Our next stop was the makeup counter of a department store. Not having any experience here, I was lost in the maze of lipsticks, mascaras, eyeliners, eye shadow, foundations, bronzers, and highlighters. How was I ever going to be able to find my way? Abbey seemed to know exactly what to do.

“What are you looking for?” I finally asked.

“We need lipstick that matches our nails. Hold out your hand.”

I held out my hand so Abbey could see my nails. She navigated the brands and colors of the racks of lipsticks like the pro she was. Almost as quickly as she started, she found what she was looking for. After we paid for our purchase, we headed to the ladies' room to apply our new lipstick.

~~0~~

We stopped back at my apartment to freshen up before heading out to Penn’s Landing. This time I remembered my bag before Abbey asked me.

Penn’s Landing was a hubbub of activity. We checked an activity board and saw there was a free concert later in the evening. Abbey loved music. She could listen to music for hours. We walked around looking for a way to while away the time. There was plenty to keep us occupied. We were getting hungry and began to look for a place to have dinner before the concert. We found a spot with outdoor seating. The waiter seated us and we ordered.

“I haven’t had this much fun in a long time,” Abbey said as we waited for our dinner.

“I had a good time too. Today reminded me of when we were kids running around the playground. Thanks, Abbey.”

“For what?”

“For being there for
me. You didn’t have to stay last night but I’m glad you did.”

“I can stay tonight too.”

“You don’t…”

“I know I don’t have to. I can check your wounds, see how your healing and spend another night with my sister.”

“I appreciate the offer but I need to start taking care of myself,” I said. “I can check the incisions. I’ll remember to do the nighttime and morning routines you showed me. I’ll be fine, really.

“Are you sure? It wouldn’t be a bother.”

“If I have any problems, I’ll call.”

“Make sure you do.”

We continued to talk as our food arrived. I swear the waiter winked at me when he asked if we needed anything else. Dinner was good and the time for the concert was approaching.

“Let’s get the check so we can make the concert.”

~~0~~

We had a good time at the concert. We got to my apartment shortly after eleven. Abbey took off her zippered top and walked around in her sports bra. I wondered if she would have done that if I wasn’t in girl mode, She made sure I knew how to check my incisions. She went over what I needed to do every evening before bed and every morning. Soon she was ready to go. My phone let me know I received an email.

“What was that?” she asked as I checked the phone.

“Just got an email from my coach,” I said. I scanned the message. “Her name is Andrea.”

“This is the coach who is teaching you to present as a woman, right? What does coach Andrea want?”

“She says she’s going to be here around noon tomorrow. She wants me to be wearing a skirt, top, hose, and heels when she gets here.”

“I thought she was coming on Monday,” said Abbey.

“Must have been a change of plans,” I said. “Can you help me pick something out?”

“Sure let’s go check your closet.” We went to the bedroom and Abbey went through my wardrobe selecting what she thought was best for my meeting with Andrea. She matched the outfit with a pair of heels. She hung the top and skirt on the closet door and put the heels on the floor. “What do you think?”

“It’s what she asked for so it’ll do.”

“You want help picking out your lingerie?” She couldn’t keep a straight face and started giggling.

“I think I can manage.”

Just then her phone buzzed. “My ride is here. I better get going.”

I walked her to the door. She put on her zippered top and slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Remember, clean your incisions before you go to bed, remove your makeup and use moisturizer,” she said. “Tomorrow morning go through the morning routine I showed you.”

“I know, I know, stop worrying, I’ll be sure to do everything.”

“I’ll never stop worrying about my little sister. I really enjoyed having a sister for the weekend. Good luck tomorrow. Goodnight Casey.”

“Goodnight Abbey,” I said.

We hugged and she was out the door. I walked back to the couch and sat down to relax. I thought of what Abbey said. I enjoyed my day with her too. I enjoyed being her sister. I paused at that thought. Today I enjoyed being her sister. It has to be the novelty of everything I’ve done over the last two days. I’ve had breast implant surgery. I got my ears pierced. That wasn’t fun. I got a manicure and a pedicure. I’m wearing nail polish. Those two are fine. I’m wearing a bra and panties and a woman's workout outfit. For someone who never tried to look like a woman, I’ve really gone in whole hog. Looking like a woman is a lot of work. I’m only doing this to get my byline.

I finally left the couch and did everything Abbey made me promise to do. I went to the bedroom and looked for my nightclothes. The pink nightie was right on top of the drawer. I took it out and put it on the bed as I undressed. When I was down to my bra and panties, I stopped to look at the outfit Abbey had chosen for me. I’d be wearing it tomorrow to meet my coach. I’ll be dressing as a woman for the foreseeable future. I put on the pink nightie and got settled in bed. I opened up my laptop and wrote for an hour and a half. I seem to be complaining a lot in the article. I finished, turned everything off, and pulled the covers up to my chin. Am I going to like learning to be a woman?

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Thanks for reading
Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 5

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

I was nervous. I was pacing my living room while wearing a skirt and heels waiting for my coach to arrive. Why should I be nervous? Could it be I felt like she was coming to take my manhood away? I knew it was nonsense. Still, in a way she was. She was coming to teach me how to walk, talk and everything I needed to know to be as convincing a woman as possible. I knew I would still be me after my training was over. I would still be C J. Learning how to co-ordinate fashion looks, and styles of hair and makeup can’t make me not be me. Not even these breasts. Right?

I felt self-conscious. Abbey had chosen a low-cut top for me. I had looked at myself in the mirror and I saw a hint of cleavage. I took a second look. My reflection had cleavage! I know I spent the last two days as a woman. I was wearing pants and a full coverage top for most of those two days. Something about being in a skirt and a scoop neck top made me feel exposed. The skirt came about 4 inches above the knee. It wasn’t that short. It certainly was not as short as that Sailor Mars costume skirt I wore way back when. That was really short. Then, I was with a group of girls with skirts as short as mine that night. I guess you could say safety in numbers. Today I was all alone.

I heard the door buzzer and went to check it.

“Miss Cummings,” said the security officer at the desk. “An Andrea Jones is here to see you. She says she’s your personal trainer.”

“Yes, I was expecting her. Please send her up.” I went to the door to wait for her.

Andrea turned the corner and saw me at the door. She waved.

“Hi Casey,” she said.

“Nice to meet you Andrea.”

She walked past me into the living room carrying a sports drink.

Andrea was about average height and in great shape. She had light brown skin. Her black hair was styled in a pixie cut. She put her bags down on the floor.

“I could use some coffee,” she said.

“I’ll go get it for you.”

“Yes, you will. Go to the coffee shop around the corner. I’ll take a latte with a double shot.”

I looked at her with surprise. “I can make the latte here.”

She looked me at with her dark brown eyes.

“I didn’t ask you to make me one. I said to go get me one. Get going. I’ll be following behind you.”

What the hell was she doing? I glared at her, picked up my bag and left. Andrea followed me out. I slowed down to wait for her.

“Don’t slow down. I’m not walking with you. I’m observing.”

I tried to ignore her for the rest of the outing. What was she observing? My mind went in all directions. Could it be the way I was walking? How I was walking in the heels? Every time I made a miss-step I thought I could feel her eyes on my back.

In the coffee shop, Andrea held back and watched me order, pay and wait for our drinks. I got our drinks, turned to leave and saw her walk out before me.

I carried the drinks back to my apartment. I put them on the table. She didn’t pick it up. She just stood there looking at me.

“Did you pick out your outfit?”

“Yes, well, my sister helped.”

She shook her head. “If you’re not going to do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it, what am I doing here?”

“What?”

“My instructions were for you to pick out and wear a skirt and heels. I didn’t ask you to have your sister help you. You don’t question what I tell you to do. You only have a month to get ready. That’s all the time I have to turn you into a woman. I can’t do that if you can’t do what I tell you.”

She looked at her phone for the time.

“Go change into an exercise outfit, no shoes. Your movement coach will be here in a few minutes.”

I left to change. I was not sure I liked her. This was going to be a long, unpleasant month.

~~0~~

During my training, along with my movement coach, I had a slew of others. There was a makeup coach, a hairstylist coach, a fashion coach, and a yoga coach among others. Other than Andrea, the coach I spent the most time with was the movement coach. I was to become as graceful and ladylike in my body movements as I could in a month. I felt I was justified in thinking Andrea was taking my manhood away. This training is a lot of work.

It was three weeks into my training. I was having Saturday dinner with Abbey.

“I was thinking we should take Mom out to that restaurant she likes for her birthday,” Abbey said.

“Good idea. She loves that place. You can’t wear jeans there, though.”

“It’s going to have to be dresses for us, sis. We need to go shopping.”

“Terrific, I have to go dress shopping now.”

“I’ll be with you. Do you think work will pay for two dresses? After all, you can wear it after I do.”

Our food came before I could answer.

We talked as we walked back to my apartment after dinner.

“Casey, I think your training is working. I’ve noticed a difference in you since you started this training.”

“How so?” I said. I flipped my hair away from my face.

“Obviously in the way you dress. Your makeup looks great. You’re taking better care of your hair, nails and skin. Even the way you walked in the restaurant, the way you smoothed your skirt before sitting down, even subtle movements like flipping your hair the way you just did. You look like you’ve been doing this all your life. You’re even talking like a girl. More than that, you seem more confident.”

“Thanks, I guess. It’s been hard work. I’ve had a lot of coaches. Each teaching me something different, walking, talking, makeup, fashion. Andrea’s been a real bitch. She makes sure I put what I learn into practice. She really drills it into me. I hope it’s worth it.”

“She sounds like a real pain.”

“That’s putting it mildly. Andrea is serious about her job. I cringed the first time she told me she was making a woman of me. There was something in the way she said it that almost scared me.”

“Maybe she is fresh from a bad relationship and taking it out on you.”

“You might be right. We’ve discussed guys and she told me to watch out for guys that get too clingy. She sounded like she had some experience.”

“You talked about guys? Why?”

“She said the way I looked, guys will be all over me. I reminded her I was a guy and not interested in going out with a guy. She said that didn’t matter. They won’t see a guy. I was told men are visual creatures. Looking at me, they will only see a woman.”

“Are you having any regrets about doing this?”

“At times. It gets so hard at times I want to quit. If it wasn’t for the idea of the byline and having these breasts, I might have quit. I can’t quit having these things,” I said. I lifted my breasts for emphasis.

“Are you still harping about your breasts?”

“You did give them to me.”

“I did not give them to you. God, I thought you’d be over that by now.”

“How can I be over that? I see them every morning. I still brush up against them when I move my arms. I won’t be over that until I don’t have them anymore.”

“They look great on you. You may decide to keep them.”

“Not a chance.”

“You know you like them.”

“Do not.”

Abbey laughed. I joined in.

~~0~~

It was Wednesday of my final training week. Andrea told me to change into a casual skirt, a top and flats. It was one of the only times I was not wearing heels for Andrea. I came out wearing a black skirt about 4 inches above the knee. My top was a dark green V-neck short-sleeved shirt.

“We’re going on a field trip today,” she said. “No lessons today. We’re spending the day shopping. Let’s go.”

I grabbed my bag. Together we went out the door.

It was a shopping spree. We went to the Fashion District and spent most of the day there. Andrea first took me to a lingerie store. I had no trouble walking in the store. I perused the merchandise like an expert. I found and bought a beautiful lacy bra with matching panties. Andrea looked at my selections and asked why I had chosen the set. I told her the colors went with my skin tone. A dress store was next. I walked the rows of dresses picking something I liked. I would try it on and come out to get Andrea’s opinion. She would ask questions about why I liked it. I gave her the appropriate reasons.

We stopped at a makeup counter. Unlike the last time when I was with Abbey, I was not overwhelmed by the items available. I went right to the palettes that went with my hair and skin tone. I knew what I needed. When asked, I explained to Andrea about the eye shadow, and lipstick I was choosing. A nod of her head indicated her approval of the reason for my choice. It was the same in every store we went to. I showed Andrea I knew why I was there and why I was buying it. It was an enjoyable shopping trip. It was the first time I almost liked Andrea.

~~0~~

Friday afternoon found Andrea packing up. She picked up her ever-present sports drink and put it in her bag.

“This is my last day with you Casey. You’ve come a long way. No one would guess you were not a woman. I’m telling the magazine you’re ready. Before I forget, I need you to sign this.” She handed me a two-page document. A quick glance told me it was a non-disclosure form. “It says you agree not to write any specifics about my training methods. I also need to see anything you write about your training before you turn it in. My methods are my trade secrets.”

“You have nothing to worry about. I don’t want to be on your bad side.” I signed the form and handed it back.

“I’m sorry I was bossy and harsh in the beginning. I needed you to understand I was not playing a game. The magazine feels you need to be totally comfortable as a woman to pull this off. If you don’t mind me asking, why did you volunteer for the assignment? I don’t know many guys who would let themselves become a woman for a year.”

“It just kind of happened. The original idea sounded good. Then it evolved into a guy reporting what it was like to live as a woman. Being androgynous, I guess I seemed like the right choice.”

“You could have said no.”

“Yes, but it’s a big story. The story will have my byline.”

“Okay, but why the breasts?”

“My sister thought I should have a reminder that I’m not a man for the year. She thought when I would take off the fake breasts I might be tempted to go without them for a few hours.”

“Makes sense. Aren’t you worried about any backlash? When the story runs, you could be labeled as being gay, a sissy, a faggot or trans. That might not be good for your career.”

“I’m not worried. It might be good also. I’ll be showing both a male and feminine perspective. How many journalists can say that?”

“You’re a brave person.” She flung her backpack over her shoulder. “Casey, there’s something we haven’t really discussed. I sure you’ll experience it before long. We’ve talked a little about guys. You may not want to hear this but you are a good-looking woman. I don’t think it will be long before men are hitting on you. There will be times when a guy starts talking with you and you have no interest. There will be guys who don’t get the vibe you’re not interested or just ignores it. I’ll bet if you went to a bar around dinner time you’ll understand within the first 30 minutes. Order a drink and stay for about an hour and a half. Tell anyone who talks with you that you are waiting for your date. I think you’ll see what I mean. If you do want to try it, be careful. It could be dangerous. Especially if they find out you’re a man. Be careful.”

She headed to the door.

“You have my number if you run into something we didn’t cover or need a refresher. Even though I’m telling the magazine you’re ready, I feel you have some resistance in presenting as a woman. You have to let that go. You have to believe you are a woman. You have to feel you are a woman. If you can do that, you’ll make it through the year.” She smiled. “Take care and good luck. I’ll be waiting for that article to come out.”

We hugged.

“Thank you, Andrea. I’ll think about your suggestion.”

“Be careful,” she said.

I closed the door behind her and just stood there. I had graduated, for better or worse, I was a woman, sort of. I would be presenting as a woman, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the next year. I did feel like celebrating. I called Abbey. She had a date tonight but would be free tomorrow. I thought about texting Amy, Matt and Jo. I decided against it. I had not told them about my gender change. It would be awkward to see them right now. I’m going to have to go out alone as a woman at some point. So far, I have been out as a woman with Abbey and Andrea. If I can’t go out tonight, can’t go out to get a burger and fries, how am I going to make it through a year? I’ve got to do this. It’s time I went out by myself, as a woman. I got my bag and went out to celebrate. I think I deserved a burger, fries and a milkshake. I laughed to myself. I think I know what Abbey would say about my food choice.

~~0~~

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Byline chapter 6

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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I ended up going to the burger place I had gone to with Abbey the night she wanted me to show off my new assets. I was wearing a pair of jeans, a polo shirt and a pair of flats. I had not buttoned the top 3 buttons of my shirt. My hair was down just touching my shoulders.
I was seated and was looking at the menu when the waiter came over.

“Hi. Can I get you something to drink?” he said. I looked up from the menu. It was the same waiter who gave me his number the night I left my bag here.

“I’ll have a water, please. Oh, can I order a milkshake now?”

“Now is good. What would you like?”

“A chocolate shake please.”

He wrote down my drink order and gave me the once over before he left saying,” I’ll be right back with your water.”
I knew where he had been looking. Heck, I had done the same thing many times. I reached up to button my shirt. Then I remembered Abbey’s words from that night. ‘He can dream and I’ll let him.’ I left the buttons alone, brought my hand down and continued reading the menu.
My waiter came back with my water and I place my burger and fries order. It wasn’t long before he returned with my order and milkshake. I ate in relative peace. When I finished, I asked for the check. I gave him the company credit card.

“Here you go,” he said as he returned with my card. I signed and handed his part back to him. “Don’t forget your purse this time,” he said flashing a smile.

“Thanks again for getting it for me that night,” I said.

“You didn’t call,” he said.

What am I supposed to do now? I can’t tell him I didn’t call because I’m a guy. At one time, I might have been okay going out with a guy but I’m not ready to do that again. I came up with an excuse.

“I’ve been at a long training session for work besides, I have a boyfriend. I don’t think he would be happy if I had called.” I smiled my best apologetic smile I could. Andrea did tell me to say I had a boyfriend. I got my bag and stood up. “Have a nice night.” I didn’t rush to get to the door but I didn’t dawdle either. Outside I continued walking without looking back. I was beginning to believe Andrea was right about guys trying to hit on me. I began to wonder, to do this article correctly, am I going to have to go out with guys?

~~0~~

“Hi sis,” Abbey said as I opened the door to my apartment. “You ready to go?”

“I’ll be ready in a minute. Make yourself comfortable. Sit down.”

We were going to Penn’s landing this Saturday morning. We were going to another concert there that evening. I had asked Abbey what I should wear. She had suggested I wear exercise leggings, a sports bra and an exercise top. I figured she knew what she was talking about so I complied. I walked out to the living room and did a little spin.

“How do I look?”

“Wow! You’re rocking that outfit, sis. Training is paying off. Let’s go.”

We took the short ride to Penn’s Landing and walked around taking in the sights and looking to see what was being sold at the stands. We passed by the roller rink and I saw a familiar look in her eyes.

“Let’s skate for a while.” I shook my head.

“I’d rather not,” I said.

“We haven’t skated in a long time,” Abbey said.

“The last time I skated I fell, remember?”

“You were having fun until then.”

“No thanks. I’ll sit and watch this time.”

“It was fun skating with my brother before. I want to skate with my sister. Please? It won’t be fun without you. No falling this time. I promise.”

“Yeah, just like last time.”

“You wouldn’t have fallen if it wasn’t for that bee scaring me.” Abbey hates bees.

“It wasn’t a bee. You just thought there was a bee.”

“Whatever. Please, Casey.”

“Fine,” I said. I sighed. “Don’t let go of me this time.”

“I won’t. Promise.” She grabbed my arm and dragged me over to rent skates.

~~0~~

“You’re doing good. Remember what you did last time.” Abbey was holding onto my hands as I tried to maintain my balance.

“I only remember one thing about the last time,” I said. “I fell.”

“Forget the falling part. Keep one foot on the ground and push off with the other.”

I really think she thought I could do this. I would never be the skater Abbey was. She loved skating. I was always happy to watch her. She was really good on rollerblades. She was outstanding on ice skates. We were staying by the boards and I was trying to do what she was telling me. I was beginning to have a rhythm of sorts going. I had a bit of confidence.

“Let me try this on my own for a bit. You go skate around.”

“Are you sure? I promised you I wouldn’t let you fall.”

“I’ll be okay as long as I’m near the boards. If I fall, it won’t be your fault. I’ll still blame you though.”

She laughed. “Okay, I’ll be checking on you.”

She sped away. I could see the joy on her face as she was able to do a spin in the center of the rink. True to her word, Abbey came by periodically to see how I was doing. Something about having the boards nearby gave me some confidence. I wasn’t going fast but I was staying up. On one of my trips around, some kids were talking by the boards just standing there. I didn’t think they were going to move for me. My newly found confidence convinced me I could leave the boards enough to get around them. I left the boards staying with my rhythm and went around them. I did it! You could tell by the smile on my face I was pleased with myself. Abbey noticed also and came skating over.

“Way to go Casey. Take my hands and let’s go out further.” Abbey took my hands and led me further from the boards.

“I don’t know about this,” I said as we got further away from the boards. Still, I was doing pretty good keeping my rhythm. I looked up and smiled at Abbey. She smiled back.

“Try it without me.”

“No, Abbey. Don’t let go.”

“You’re doing great. I’ll be right here. Just keep your rhythm going.”

I slowly let go of Abbey’s hands and… I didn’t fall! Abbey kept giving me encouragement as I continued to make my way following Abbey. She was skating backward when three teenagers darted too close behind her. She saw them at the last minute from the corner of her eye and barely avoided being hit by them. The sudden activity startled me. I began to lose my rhythm and my forward progress. I felt myself falling.

“Abbey!” I yelled. I struggled to keep my balance.

“I got you, Casey,” She yelled. She lunged to grab my arm just as I completely lost my balance. I grabbed her arm as my feet went out from under me. I went down. With the death grip I had on Abbey’s arm, I dragged her down with me. We both ended up in a heap in the rink. Just like the last time.

“Not again,” I said. Abbey started laughing sitting on the ground next to me. “You’re a lousy teacher.” I managed to say. I started laughing with her.

It seems that when we are both on the ground, wearing skates, we have trouble getting up. Abbey would get up and I would drag her down while trying to hold on to her to get myself up. Our laughing fit didn’t help our coordination. We decided to sit there until our laughter subsided.

“You two sound like you’re having a good time down there. If we’re not interrupting, can we maybe lend you a hand?”

We both looked up. Abbey caught her breath. From the look on her face, I don’t think Abbey could believe her eyes. I followed the sound of the voice. Standing above us were two, very good-looking, guys. They were identical except for their clothes. They were wearing jeans with different colored shirts. Both appeared tall, from where we were sitting on the ground. Both were clean shaved with a definite 5 o’clock shadow. That was something I never had. They had clean-cut looks with dark hair just long enough not to be rebellious. Their bodies appeared athletic. Their exposed arms showed they have been to the gym but were not muscle-bound. Abbey would later tell me she felt as if she was seeing her Ken doll come to life.

“Can we lend a hand? Maybe help you up?” came the voice again.

That second question broke the spell on Abbey.

“Yes, that would be great. Thanks.”

I watched as one of our rescuers helped Abbey to her feet. When she was just about standing, one of her skates went out from under her. She fell forward against his chest letting him catch her.

“Careful, you seem a bit unsteady.” He straightened her up and held onto her. “Better now?”

“Yes, thanks,” Abbey said.

I groaned at the sight. I was sure she did that on purpose.

“Are you okay?” the other guy asked me. “Here take my hand.”

He took my hand and put his arm around my waist as I got back on my skates.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You girls want to go sit down for a minute?” said the first guy.

“He means on the bench, not the floor” the other guy clarified.

“I think they knew that Dave.”

“I just wanted to make sure they understood you, Gil.”

“They’re intelligent girls. They got my meaning.”

“You could have let go and let her drop to the floor again.”

“Now why would I do that?”

They continued on for another 30 seconds. I finally spoke up.

“The bench is fine, guys. I think my skate came loose.”

“Sorry, let’s get you over there.”

They helped us across the rink to the bench. It turned out they both were about 6 feet tall. I felt small with his arm around me. We sat on the bench. My skate had loosened a bit. I unlaced it and started to tighten the laces.

“Can I help with that,” he asked?

“Sure.” I let him take the laces.

He began to pull on the laces and looked up at me. “Let me know if it’s too tight.”

“That’s good,” I said.

He tied the lace and repeated the process on the other skate.

“There you go. You’re all ready to get back out there. I’m Dave,” he said to me. He pointed over to the guy helping my sister. “That’s Gil. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re identical twins, like you two.”

“Oh, we’re not…”

“Identical twins,” Abbey interrupted. I glared at her.

“You’re fraternal twins?” said Gil. “I would have sworn you were identical. If it wasn’t that your hair is longer, I couldn’t tell you apart.”

“I’m Abbey. That’s my sister Casey.” Abbey looked at Gil then at me. “I’m the better looking one,” she said.

“Are not!” I shot back. I don’t know why I said that. It was just a reflex.

Gil started laughing. “We do the same thing. Dave’s never gotten over that I’m better looking.”

“Here we go,” Dave said.

“Ready to get back out there, Abbey?” asked Gil.

“Sure.” Abbey sounded a little too enthusiastic to me.

“How about you, Casey?” said Dave. I must have looked unsure. “I won’t let you fall. Promise.”

“That’s not the first time I’ve heard that today,” I said. Dave took my extended hand and helped me out to the rink.

~~0~~

We spent a pleasant hour skating with the guys. They never left our side. Abbey and Gil were skating all over the place. The two of them were pretty equal skaters. I felt bad for Dave.

“Dave, why don’t you go skate with the two experts. I feel like I’m holding you back.”

“I’m not complaining. I’m having a good time with you.”

Why does he have to be so nice? As we skated together, Dave kept giving me tips on keeping my balance. He was a much better teacher than Abbey. By the end of the hour, I was skating without any help, well, almost.

We all had our fill of skating. The four of us returned our rented skates and retrieved our shoes.

“Thanks for the company guys. It’s been a lot of fun,” said Abbey.

“Thanks for helping us out and for the skating lesson,” I said to Dave. “We have to get going.”

The brothers looked at each other. It was like a silent communication went between them.

“I saw a restaurant about a block or two from here. Would you be interested in going to dinner?”

I wasn’t sure about this. This was starting to feel like me going on a date. I was trying to think of a way to say no when Abbey jumped right in saying, “Sure, that sounds great. We haven’t eaten since brunch.”

I shot Abbey a look.

“Abbey,” I said. “I need to use the restroom.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Abs!”

“Oh, right. We’ll be right back.”

I grabbed her arm and rushed to the ladies' room.

“What’s gotten into you?” I said once we were inside.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why did you tell them we were twins?”

“It seemed like the right thing to say at the moment.”

“And what was it with that
slip and falling into him when he was helping you up?”

“I didn’t see you pulling away when he put his arm around your waist.”

“He was helping me up.”

“Sure he was, all around the rink.”

“He didn’t want me to fall.”

“Yeah, right.” She paused for a second. “I think I really like him.“

“What about your lawyer guy? What was his name, Glen?”

‘That’s been over for months.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

"It’s okay. Too much of an age difference. We’re still friends. Look, all you have to do is stay with him. Be nice to him, while I get to know his brother.”

“Abbey, I’m a guy,” I whispered.

“So what. Don’t you consider yourself bisexual?” You had that little fling with Matt.”

Matt was one of my group of friends I mentioned before. There were a few months when we were attracted to each other. I’m still not sure if I’m more into girls or guys.

“That was years ago. And Matt knew I was a guy. Dave thinks I’m a girl.”

“What the worst that can happen. So you might have to kiss a guy. You’ve done it before. Just this one time. Please? I’ve helped you out with your assignment.”

“Yeah, you gave me boobs,” I said.

“Come on, please?”

“Alright, this one time. I’m not happy about this though.”

She hugged me.

“Thank you, Casey. You’re the best sister in the world.”

“If we’re paying for our own dinner, you’re paying for mine. And you owe me big time,” I said. I followed her out to find the guys.

~~~0~~~

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Byline chapter 7

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

We found the guys right where we left them. If it wasn’t for their shirts, I would not have been able to tell them apart. Gil’s shirt was maroon and Dave’s was a dark purple. Abbey took the lead as we walked towards them.

“We’re back! Did you miss us?” Abbey said. Almost immediately she took possession of Gil’s arm. I couldn’t believe her. I had never seen her act like this before. Still, I followed Abbey’s lead and held onto Dave’s arm, much as she did with Gil but with a lot less enthusiasm. They seemed pleased as we walked to the restaurant.

The restaurant was crowded when we arrived. Still, we only had a 15-minute wait. After being seated, we ordered our meal and conversation around the table began.

“So where are you guys from?” Abbey asked.

“We’re from Santa Clara, California,” said Gil.

“I’ve never been to California. Are you two here to see the sights of Philadelphia?”

“We’re actually moving here,” said Dave. “We’re looking for housing near or in Philadelphia.”

“We've been spending time going out seeing the sights, as you said. You know, seeing what there is to do around here,” Gil said. “So far we’ve found quite a lot of activities…”

“… and many museums to explore,” said Dave.

“Have you been to the Art Museum yet?” I asked. “It’s one of my favorites. If you like science, the Franklin Institute is great.”

“They’re on my list but I haven’t been to either yet,” said Dave.

“Maybe you girls could show them to us,” said Gil.

“That would be fun,” Abbey said. I looked at her.

“When did you start liking museums?” I said.

“I like them,” Abbey said.

“Museums aren’t Gil’s style either,” said Dave.

“I like them. Just not as much as you,” Gil responded. “Enough about us, we’d like to know more about you girls.”

I let Abbey talk first. “I’m a nurse in one of the hospitals here in town,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to be a nurse. After our father died from a heart attack, I decided I wanted to work in the cardiac unit. That’s where I am now.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your father,” Gil said.

“Thanks,” Abbey said. Suddenly it was my turn.

“I’ve always liked writing. I studied journalism, among other things, in college. I’m working as a journalist at a magazine in town. I haven’t written anything with my byline yet. I hope to soon.”

“Don’t be so modest,” Abbey said. “She’s been asked to do a feature article. It’s gonna be big.”

“You’re kidding. That’s great,” Dave said.

I shook my head. “It’s too soon to tell yet. They could cancel the article at any time before it prints.”

It was then the waitress came with our food.

~~0~~

From our conversation with the guys during dinner, it seemed to me Gil was the more outgoing of the twins. Dave was more laid back. Gil seemed to like more of the action stuff while Dave liked reading and writing. They both enjoyed sports though. What was interesting was somehow we ended up with the right guys. Abbey and Gil seemed to like many of the same things and the same with Dave and me. If I were really a girl, I might have been interested in him. Heck, I might have been interested in him if he batted for the other team. As far as I could tell, his preference was girls and right now, the girl he was interested in was me. In a way, that felt good.

~~0~~

Dinner was over. The guys insisted on paying the check. Abbey got out her phone and got us together so she could take a selfie of the four of us. She made sure we all got a copy. Then she checked the time.

“Great, we have plenty of time to get to the concert.”

“On the pier? You’re going to the concert too? That’s great. So are we,” Gil said. “We could go together.”

Abbey seemed pleased with the news.

"I have to go to the ladies' room before we leave," I said.

"We'll go to the restroom too and meet you outside the front door," Gil said. All of us left to go to our respective rooms.

"I thought we were only going to dinner with them," I said to Abbey when we got to the ladies' room.

"I didn't know they were going to the concert,” Abbey said. “What's your problem?"

“Oh, I don't know. I'm out with a guy who thinks I'm a girl helping my sister who has a crush on his brother. If we just had dinner, I could get away with a kiss on the cheek but after the concert, who knows. I'm not looking forward to kissing him."

"Pretend you’re kissing a girl. Pretend it’s, who was it in college, Amy, right? And you kissed Matt too."

"God, do you know everyone I’ve kissed?"

"Pretty much, sis. I remember everything you say. Let's finish up and go meet the guys."

~~0~~

The concert was great. Maybe it was the band. Maybe it was the company, Maybe it was both. I would have really enjoyed myself if not for the nervousness and guilt I felt about deceiving Dave.

After the concert, the twins walked us to our car. Their car was on the other side of the lot.

"We had a nice time with you girls," said Gil. "Abbey, can I get your number?"

"Sure!" Abbey gave her number.

"Any chance I can get your number, Casey? If I don't, he'll be bragging non-stop all the way home. You'd be doing a public service. I won't have to consider hurting him."

I giggled. I didn't want to give him my number. He had been so nice all evening. Even without me gushing over him like Abbey was with his brother. If he did call, I could always say no.

"As long as I'm saving a life.” I gave him my number.

Thanks. It's been nice meeting you Casey. Have a good night."

The moment I'd been dreading was now here. I glanced over and saw Abbey and Gill in a total lip lock. Dave leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. It was nothing like Gill and Abbey. It was nice, gentle. It surprised me.

"Goodnight Casey."

"Goodnight Dave," I said.

He turned and walked to where Gil and Abbey were just finishing their kiss. I brought my hand up. My fingertips touching my lips trying to connect with the kiss still lingering on my lips. Gil said a quick goodbye to Abbey and hurried to catch up with his brother. Abbey and I got in the car. She started the car and sighed.

"I think I'm in love," she said.

~~0~~

Abbey and I were arguing in my apartment.

"What do you mean you're not going out with him again?"

"Just what I said."

"I thought you had a good time with him."

"I did. That doesn't mean I want to see him again. Abs, I'm your brother. I'm not your sister. I feel like you used me to get yourself a date with Gil."

"Do you really think I would do that?"

"It sure as hell felt that way. On top of that, I had to kiss him."

"You're mad at me because he kissed you? I didn't see you stopping him. You’ve kissed a guy before. What’s your problem?”

“I think you’re my problem.”

“I’m your problem? Please.” She found her bag and headed for the door. "You have a good night BROTHER. Thanks for nothing."

She opened the door and all but slammed it behind her.

I've fought with my sister many times before but this was a first. Tonight we fought over guys. Not that I was taking away her boyfriend. We fought over me taking away her chance to have a boyfriend. Was I upset that Abbey used me to get to know Gil? Was my real fear that I would get to like Dave?

~~0~~

I woke up on Sunday morning feeling upset about my fight with Abbey. Why can't she understand I don't want to go out with a guy who thinks I’m a woman? I tried to put our disagreement out of my mind.

After my shower, I got dressed. I found myself a pair of jeans and a top. I applied my makeup. I got up to go get breakfast and passed the mirror. My reflection reminded me of Abbey. I hate being mad at my sister.

I went out to get breakfast. I ordered a bagel with cream cheese and a cappuccino milkshake. I nibbled at the bagel while drinking my milkshake. When I finished my shake, I licked the rim of the glass to get any remaining ice cream. I took the straw out and drew it through my lips. I wanted to get every last drop.

During breakfast, I was thinking about the article. I had started an outline of Friday’s events. I was too mad yesterday night to outline the events of Saturday. I decided to go home and write about Saturday. I was determined to flesh out the story into what I wanted the article to resemble. I got up to leave, remembering my bag, and left for home.

~~0~~

Writing is hard work. First, there’s writing then re-writing and more re-writing. Even when you think you’re finished, the editor will usually tell you to re-write it. It’s even harder when you don’t feel like writing.

After about 3 hours, I had only about 1fifteen hundred words written. I felt exhausted. It didn’t help that my disagreement with Abbey was still bothering me. I hadn’t heard from her all day. I wasn’t going to call her.

It was nearing dinner. I wasn’t very hungry. Even so, I went out to get something to eat. As I walked, I felt the bounce of my breasts. It was another reason to be mad at Abbey. I would have been fine with stick-on breasts or a padded bra. I found a place to eat and sat down at a table. The waitress came and I ordered a black and white milkshake. The meal for the two ladies at the table opposite me came. They had both ordered salads. I looked at my milkshake. Abbey said I was going to have to be more conscious of my figure now. As I wasn’t really hungry, I ordered a Caesar Chicken salad.

I was still angry with my sister as evening came. I was mad at her for giving me boobs. I was mad at her for making me go out with a guy. I was mad at her for me having to kiss a guy. I was mad at her for not understanding. I was mad at her for not calling me today. I was mad at her because, maybe, just maybe, she had me questioning if I did like going out with and kissing David. She had me questioning if I was bi-sexual and trying to deny that I was.

I only had that one fling. It was with Matt. We were in college at the time. My friends Amy, Matt, Jo and I did everything together. We considered ourselves straight except for Jo. She’s a lesbian. Among the three of them, Amy was my best friend and occasional girlfriend. One long weekend, Matt and I had gone to a party. We both had too much to drink. We stumbled back to my apartment and both of us crashed on the bed. We lay there talking about nonsense. A touch from Matt, a response from me and soon we found ourselves kissing each other, and more. The next morning we woke together in bed. There was no regret in either of us. We kissed as he left to get home. Our fling lasted a couple of months. I never told Amy or Jo, but, I always felt, somehow, they knew. We mutually broke it off a couple of months later. I found I enjoy sexual encounters with both men and women. Recently, I had begun to feel I am more attracted to women. Yesterday made me question that.

All this made me realize I wasn’t mad at Abbey. I was mad at myself. I was mad because I had to present as a woman for a year. I was mad because I enjoyed myself with David. I kept trying to tell myself I didn’t. I told myself I was only helping Abbey. I was mad because I didn’t know if I wanted to go there again. I didn’t know if I wanted another relationship with a man. I felt Abbey had forced me into it yesterday so it was still her fault for me being mad at myself.

The problem is, right now, I don’t look like a guy. I look like a girl, a woman. Dave was attracted to the woman who is Casey Jean, not the guy. I’m not the woman he expects. Even with my “woman” training, I’m still a guy. A guy with breasts, thanks to Abbey. I am still me. Right now, I’m not sure who me is.

~~0~~

I halfheartedly finished my outline for yesterday and I had fleshed out a little of the article. Not as much as I would have liked. It still read like I was complaining. I had hit a wall. I looked at the time. It was around seven PM. I checked my phone. I had gotten an email telling me I had an interview Monday morning. I thought about going to bed early. While my phone was still in my hand, it rang. I saw it was Abbey.

“Hey, Casey. You okay?”

“I guess,” I said. I was trying to sound annoyed.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I got caught up in the moment. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I know you were helping me out. I’m not saying I was using you but I needed you with me. I was having such a good time with you. It was like we were kids again. The two of us running through the playground. Just like you said. Yesterday you were my sister. All I saw was a sister. A sister I love and would never intentionally hurt.” She paused. “Look, I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for getting mad,” I said. “I have to remember, for the coming year, that’s what I am, your sister. I might not have liked what went on yesterday. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”

“Why are you mad at yourself? Are you regretting taking the assignment?”

“I’m not quite sure on either account. I’ll explain it some other time. Abs, we’re good.”

“Thanks, sis. Did you moisturize after you took off your makeup?

I laughed and answered all her questions. It felt good not being angry with my sister.

~~0~~

I went to bed shortly after my sister’s call. I did my nighttime routine as I had been instructed. When I finished I got ready for bed. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep.

~~0~~

I woke up to some sort of a buzzing sound. I was not quite awake. I heard the sound again and realized it was the door alarm. The clock told me it was two fourteen AM. I got to the intercom. I fumbled with it and finally pushed the button.

“Hello?” I said.

Miss Cummings? This is security. I’m sorry to bother you. There’s someone here. She says she’s your sister.” I could hear the phone changing hands.

“Casey, thank God you’re up. I’ve been down here for 10 minutes.”

“Abbey, is that you?” Why would Abbey be here at this time of the night?

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 8

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

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“Of course it’s me. Tell them to let me up.”

Security got back on the line and I vouched for Abbey. I threw on a robe, opened the door and waited to hear the elevator door open. I heard her first as she came around the corner. She was making an awful lot of noise. I saw why. She was struggling with a large over-stuffed suitcase. I made sure my keys were in my robe pocket and went out to help her.

“Abs, what’s going on? Why the suitcase?”

“Let’s get inside first,” she said. “I’ll tell you the whole story.”

We got inside. I looked at the suitcase. It looked like it was straining to hold everything that was inside it.

“What’s going on? It looks like you have everything you own in there.”

“Pretty much. Casey, it was horrible. There was a water pipe break in my building. Of course, no one noticed until it was too late. I mean most people were asleep, even me. When I was notified, I got up and found the water was ankle-deep in my apartment, well the whole floor really. Everyone was told to leave until the water could be stopped. We were all outside waiting for the water to be shut off. When we were allowed back in I grabbed everything I could and came here. I didn’t know where else to go. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Of course not. We’re sisters.” As we hugged, I realized I had told Abbey I was her sister. ”How much was damaged?”

“I don’t know. Everything I had on the floor I guess, some shoes, my furniture, some other things. I haven’t taken inventory. I’m hoping insurance will cover most of it. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t stay in my apartment. I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back. Can I stay here for the night?”

“Of course you can, Abs. You can stay here as long as you like.”

“Thanks, but I can’t do that. I’ll just be getting in the way. It would be awkward if I brought a guy back here.”

She might be right about that. I suddenly had a thought. “I have a great idea. Why don’t you stay at my old apartment? It’s going to be available for the year. Stay there until you can get back into your place.”

“Are you sure? That would be perfect! Thanks, Case.” She hugged me. “Let me get a ride and I’ll go there now.”

“Absolutely not. You’re staying the night.” She was about to protest. “No buts,” I said. “I’m going to need you here in the morning. I have an interview. I need advice on what to wear. Drag that suitcase to the guest room and let’s get you settled in for the night.”

~~0~~

We sat on the bed in the guest room in our nightgowns talking.

"What job are you going for?"

“It's a waitress job. Can you believe it? I have to get a job as a waitress. "

"What’s wrong with that? You'll make a cute waitress," she said.

"Very funny. It’s bad enough I have to be a woman for a year."

“Get it through your head. For all intent and purposes, you’re a woman now. You’re going to get jobs women get. Weren’t you a waiter for a while during college?"

"Yeah, for about 6 months. Amy was working there, she told me about the opening and I thought it would be a way for me to spend more time with her. With taking care of our tables, our together time was limited to coming and going to work."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Wear something short to the interview."

"Abs!"

"What? You take any advantage you can get. Changing the subject,” she said. She bit her lower lip. “What did you think of the twins on Saturday?”

“They were nice,” I said. “Why do you ask?”

“I really liked Gil.” She said. She leaned back and let her head hit the pillow. “I’m hoping he calls when he’s in town again.”

“Oooo, Abbey’s in love,” I teased. She sat up, grabbed the pillow behind her and swung it at me. It connected with my shoulder. We both started laughing.

“Can I ask what happened with Glen?” Glen was the last boyfriend I knew about. He was a lawyer and about 15 years older than Abbey.

“It was the age difference. He decided I was too young for him.”

“Ouch! That must have hurt.”

“It was funny. I had been thinking that he was too old for me. Don’t get me wrong. I liked being with him. It always felt funny when meeting his friends. I was always the youngest. I’m sure he felt the same way when he met my friends. It all worked out. We’re still friends. What I want to know is how you felt about Dave.”

“Didn’t this topic cause us to fight yesterday?” I said. I smiled.

“I know. I said I was sorry and I meant it. So, how do you feel about him?” Abbey said. I shook my head and smiled at Abbey’s single-mindedness.

“To be honest, that’s why I was mad at myself. I tried to tell myself I was only helping you out. I realized I enjoyed myself. I think I was mad because I did.”

“I knew it!” she said. She sat up taller on the bed. “I knew you liked him.”

“I don’t like him that much,” I said.

“But you like him. If they call when they’re in town next, will you double with me?”

“You mean like a real date? Not an I’ll-meet-you-at-the-restaurant thing? I’m not sure. I don’t know if I want another relationship with a guy.”

“But you’ll think about it?” I swear she gave me a pleading look complete with puppy dog eyes. I sighed.

“Yes. I’ll think about it,” I said. Abbey squealed and hugged me.

~~0~~

I woke up in the morning to the smell of coffee dancing through my room. I walked to the kitchen to find Abbey drinking her coffee. Unlike me, she was fully dressed.

“You’re up early,” I said. I poured my coffee and stood by the machine as I sipped it.

“I took the day off to deal with my apartment and to get settled into your old place. You’re sure you don’t mind me staying at your old apartment?”

“Not at all. You’ll be doing me a favor.”

She received a message on her phone. She stood up got her bag and the suitcase.

“My rides almost here. I’ve got the keys and the passcode to your apartment building. I think I have everything. Oh, don’t forget, mom's birthday is next month. Have you spoken with her recently?”

“I called once during my training,” I said. “I’m going to call her this week.”

“So, have you told her?”

“About me being a girl for a year? No, not yet. How do you think she is going to take the news that she has a second daughter?”

“Mom will go with it. She’ll be fine. Good luck with the interview. Let me know the restaurant." Her eyes lit up for a second. "Maybe you'll be a Hooter's Girl. You've got the boobs for it." She started laughing.

“You should know. You’ve got them too.” We both laughed.

I really hoped she was wrong. I don’t want to be a Hooter’s girl. But what if she was right?

~~0~~

It was my first interview as a woman. As promised, the magazine had set this one up. They even emailed me a resume they prepared. The only thing that was not true on the resume was my sex. They used the resume from my magazine interview. It had been re-written to stress what would be pertinent for this interview.

I decided on a nice sleeveless top and skirt outfit. I put a pair of black two-inch heels on the floor and started my morning routine. I showered, washed my hair, shave my legs and underarms. I’m not sure I needed to shave but thought I should. I made sure the polish on my fingernails still looked good. No one was going to see my toenails with the shoes I was going to wear.

After my shower, I sat at my makeup table with my towel appropriately wrapped around me. I dried and brushed my hair. With my hair dried, I went to my drawer and pulled out a pair of panties and matching bra and put them on my bed. I dropped my towel and pulled up the panties then put on the bra.

I had put some thought into my interview outfit. I thought about wearing a nice pair of slacks and a top. I also had a nice dress I thought would be good for the interview. I finally decided on a skirt and top combo. I didn’t take Abbey's advice about the length of the skirt. I didn’t see the need. The skirt wasn’t short, about 2 inches above the knee. I pulled the top on first then the skirt. I straightened my skirt and went to my makeup table.

I decided on casual makeup. A little eyeshadow, a bit of mascara, then I applied lipstick that matched my nails. I stood up and fluffed my hair. All I needed was to put on my heels, pick up my bag and leave.

I thought about what I would have done to get ready for the interview as a guy. I would have gotten a shower and washed my hair. There would have been no thought about my nails, my legs or underarms. Brushing and drying my hair would have taken less time. I would have picked any button-down shirt in my closet and probably a tie. It might have matched my shirt. A pair of khakis dress pants and a pair of loafers and I would be done. With keys in my pocket and a folder holding my resume, I would have been out the door. I checked the time and found I had about 10 minutes to spare. I decided to leave and get there early.

~~0~~

Three hours later I was on my way home. I had not gotten the job. My first interview as a woman and I blew it. I thought the job was in the bag. Nope. The only string that was pulled was getting me the interview. I had to impress just as any woman would have to during an interview. One good thing was the employer was not Hooters. I called Abbey when I got home.

“How did the interview go?” she asked.

“Terrible. I didn’t get the job. I don’t know what I did wrong. I could sense I was being treated differently than if I had been on an interview as a guy.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It was just a feeling.”

“Hang in there. You don’t get every job you apply for. You’ll get the next one.”

But I didn’t get the next one, or the one after that. I called Abbey after each one.

“You didn’t get this one either?” she said after the third interview. “You’re on a streak of bad luck,” She was trying to console me. It wasn't working.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. It’s just a waitress job for gosh sakes. I’ve got another interview tomorrow.”

“I’ll be over after work. Make some of your world-famous tacos.”

~~0~~

After dinner Abbey and I discussed my job interview situation.

“From what you’re telling me, I think you’re approaching the interview as a guy. You’ve got to approach it as a woman. Embrace being a woman.”

“You sound like Andrea. She said she thought I still had some resistance to being a woman.”

“You should listen to her. Show me what you’re going to wear tomorrow.”

I showed Abbey the outfit I was going to wear. It was like what I had worn to the other interviews. “Casey, I told you to wear something short. No wonder you didn’t get the jobs.”

“Why would that matter?”

“It just does. What makeup did you use?”

“It was casual.”

“Sis, you are interviewing as a woman. You are competing with every woman there. You have to stand out.”

We discussed my attire and makeup for tomorrow before she left.

~~0~~

I got ready the next morning starting with a scoop neck top adding a skirt that was about 6 inches above my knee. I was taking Abbey’s advice. My makeup was going to be more than casual but not evening makeup. I applied my mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow. I found and applied my lipstick. Reaching down to the table, I picked up my perfume and sprayed a cloud into the air and walked through it. I had never used this much makeup. It was not overdone and I thought it suited me. I picked up my bag and left for the interview.

I started home from the interview with a smile on my face. I had gotten the job. I would be working at a diner. My shifts would start as soon as my uniform was delivered. Yes, there was a uniform. I would be working at Red Ruby Diner. It was a throwback diner. The uniform is a short candy cane pinstripe dress and non-slip shoes. Nude or taupe pantyhose were required at all times. If you wear nail polish, it had to be red as does your lipstick. No facial piercings and only one pair of earrings. The guy's uniform was a shirt in the same red and white pinstripe pattern. They need to wear black pants, socks and non-slip shoes. There was no mention of guys wearing lipstick or nail polish. I’m sure that would be against company policy. I made sure to thank Abbey when I called her.

~~0~~

“Congrats on getting the job," said Abbey. I told her about my interview and being hired.

"It's so much easier being a guy,” I said.

"How so?"

"When I went for my interview at the magazine I made sure my hair was combed, I might have gotten a haircut. I put on my good suit and dress shoes and I was out the door. Today, I showered, washed and dried my hair. I brushed it into shape. I shaved my legs and underarms. I made sure my nails looked good. I had to decide on the outfit I was going to wear. I put on my pantyhose, my top and skirt. I worked on my makeup making sure my lipstick matched my nails. Spritzed on some perfume. Decided on the height of my heels and that they went with my outfit. I made sure my bag matched my outfit. Checked once more to make sure I looked good and then I was out the door.

"Welcome to womanhood, sis. You know it's like that most of the time you leave the house. Society says women always need to make a good impression."

"Society sucks," I said.

"Put that in your article. You only have to do this for a year. Women have to do it our whole lives. Could be worst. You don't have to worry about your period. When do you start your job?"

"I start on Monday. My uniform will be here then."

"That's right! You have to wear the candy-striped uniform. You'll look so cute in it."

"Knock it off Abbey."

"Well, you will look good in it."

"At least it's not super short. Did you know they require us to wear nude or taupe pantyhose at all times? Also, our nails and lipstick have to be red?"

"I suspected the hose. I didn't know about the lipstick and nails. Sounds like a trip to get a mani and pedi. When were you thinking of going?"

"I was thinking of Wednesday. We're going to see mom at the end of the week, right? Are we staying the night?"

"I was going to ask what you thought. I figured we might as well. We'll be getting home late if we don’t."

"That sounds good. Um, Abs, I know I asked before but how do you think mom is going react to having a second daughter?"

"Are you still worried about that? She’ll be fine. She may be startled at first. After the shock, she'll go with it. Can you bring the blue nightie? I liked that one. Bring the pink one for you."

"If I bring them, you’re wearing the pink one."

Abbey laughed and I joined it.

"When you make the appointment for your manicure, make it for the two of us. I'm free at three. We can go together and then do some shopping for our visit with mom and get dinner. See you on Wednesday for our nails. Bye, sis."

I hung up with Abbey. We were going to have our nails done together. I was going to a nail salon again to get the right color of polish for my job. I’d be spending time with my sister. I could deal with that.

---

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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---

Byline chapter 9

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

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I arrived home after Abbey and my nail appointment. My nails were the required red I needed for my waitress job. Like it or not, while on this job, I was going to have red nails. I was trying to decide what I was going to do for the rest of the day when I got a text. It was from Amy.

Getting together tonight. U free?

It had been way too long since Amy, Matt, Jo and I had gotten together. I couldn’t go during my training. Seeing them would be good. I answered right away.

U bet! Regular place?

We enjoyed going to a hotel that had a nice restaurant and bar. In college, Matt and I would go there on a Friday night occasionally to try to pick up girls.

Yep bring ur card. Ur buying. 6pm

See u there, I wrote back.

I had about an hour and a half to get ready and get there. Holy crap! I remembered I haven’t told any of them about my assignment. Shit! I have to show up as a woman. I thought about texting Amy and canceling. I stopped. This is what Abbey had tried to tell me when she suggested the breast implants. I was about to wimp out. I said I would be there so I’m going to be there. I went to my closet to find something to wear. I decided on a black knee-length skirt and a cyan sleeveless top. I put my hair up in a high ponytail. I found the earrings Abbey had me buy and I added a silver necklace. I freshened my makeup, put on a pair of three-inch heels and went to meet my friends.

I don’t know if I was relieved or annoyed. I was the first one there. Of our little group, I was always on time or a little early. Matt was always 15 to 20 minutes late. I was greeted by the hostess and I told her which party I was with. I was told they had not arrived yet. She suggested I wait at the bar. I walked over and found an open stool. It’s easier to sit on a stool when you’re not wearing a skirt. While at the bar, I thought of what I called Andrea’s experiment. This would be a good place to try it out. I wasn’t there long when I saw my friends arrive. I saw them speak to the hostess who pointed to the bar. I waved and everyone walked to join me. As they got closer I could hear them talking.

“It looks like he asked Abbey to join us.”

“He didn’t say she was coming.”

“I don’t mind. I had a thing for her.”

“You had a thing for anyone in a skirt.”

“He must be in the restroom.”

“Hi Abbey,” Matt said. “Good to see you. It’s been a long time. Where’s C J?”

“Hi, guys. I’m right here Matt.”

Matt’s chin dropped. Amy and Jo’s eyes got wide.

“C J? Is that you? What’s going on?” Amy asked.

“Oh my freaking God,” Jo said.

I saw the table alert device in Amy’s hand start indicating our table was ready. I got off my stool, straightened my skirt, walked over and took the device from the still stunned Amy.

“Our table’s ready. Follow me,” I said waving the device. “I’ll explain all when we’re seated.”

I walked to the hostess. My stunned friends following. We were seated and the hostess left us with our menus. It didn’t take long for the questions.

“When the hell did you start batting for the other team?” said Matt.

“I swore you were Abbey. What gives?” Amy said.

“Are you trans?” asked Jo.

“I never would have broken up if I had known you looked this good,” Matt said. Jo gave him an elbow.

“What? She, um, he looks great.”

The waiter came over and took our drink order.

“I’ll have a scotch on the rocks. Make it a double,” Matt said. Amy and Jo ordered diet sodas. “I’ll have a vanilla milkshake, please,” I said.

“So what gives?” Amy asked after the waiter left to get out drinks.

I told the group about my assignment and how I would be living and presenting as a woman for the year. I also told them about Abbey giving me boobs.

“For a year? And you got boobs? Dude, you’re fucking crazy,” said Matt. “Utterly out of your mind.”

“Why the implants?” Amy asked.

“Abbey thought I would feel more feminine with the implants.”

“With the boobs,” commented Matt. That got him another elbow from Jo.

“Yes, with the boobs,” I said. “She thought I might wimp out and go male at home too often. I can’t this way. She was right. I almost canceled tonight.”

The waiter came with our drinks and took our order.

“C J, you look… well, you look great. Seriously, I never would have known,” Amy said.

“You really do look good,” Jo said.

“Did you do your makeup?” Amy asked.

“I did,” I said. I told them about the training I went through so I would not just be a guy with boobs wearing a dress.

“I had to become as feminine as possible in order to pull this off. Guys, it’s going to be a feature article with my by-line!”

“I still think you’re crazy,” said Matt. “Wouldn’t find me doing that for a story.”

The girls and I continued to talk about makeup and fashion, much to Matt’s dismay, until our food arrived. I think they were testing me to see how much I had learned. Matt had finished his drink and ordered another.

“Looks like your getting a ride home,” Amy said.

“That was the plan from the beginning. I told you I wanted to drink tonight,” Matt said. “I’ve got a real good reason now.” He took more than a sip from his second double or was it his third?

We talked as we ate. I was trying to judge everyone’s reaction to me being a woman. After the initial shock, Amy seemed to be handling it the best. I could tell Matt was having the most trouble. I felt Jo was not sure what to make of me. She joined in our conversation but not as much as usual. After we ate, the girls and I decided to order dessert. Matt got up from the table.

“I’m going to leave you girls alone to talk. I’ll be at the bar,” Matt said. He emphasized the word girls. He drained his glass and headed to the bar. Jo excused herself to go to the restroom.

“I’m so glad he didn’t drive,” Amy said. She ordered coffee when the desserts arrived. “Matt’s not taking this well. You really shocked him. You pretty much shocked all of us.”

“I guess I did. I’ve been so busy with the training. I hadn’t heard from you guys for a while.”

“You could have called. You know, maybe told us what to expect.”

“Sorry, I should have thought of that. Well, like it or not, this is me for the year.”

“I hope you’re up to the challenge.”

Jo came back having heard the tail end of the conversation.

“What challenge?”, Jo asked.

“C J being a woman for a year.”

“He should be okay. You looked good in that college play as a woman. You always looked more female than male to me,” Jo said.

“Come on, Jo,” Amy said.

“I’m just telling the truth. You thought the same,” Jo said.

“She’s right,” I said before Amy could get a word out. “I’ve never been your stereotypical male. For this article, I’m a woman. Other than that, I’m still me.”

“I still can’t believe you’re doing this. You have to let me know when the article is published. I’m buying a copy,” Amy said smiling.

“So am I,” Jo said.

We talked as we ate our dessert and finished our coffee.

“Okay, let’s get a selfie before we leave,” Amy said. The three of us got close together as Amy took the picture and sent it to us.

“I’m going to get Matt from the bar,” Amy said. She left as the waiter came with the check. I handed him my card. Amy returned with Matt as I signed the check and put my copy in my bag. Jo and I got up to leave. The four of us gathered outside the restaurant.

“I’ve missed you guys. Let’s do this again,” I said.

“I’ll get in touch with everyone for the next one,” Amy said.

“I’ve called for my ride,” Matt said. He stumbled a bit. I steadied him. He shook me off extracting himself. “I’m alright. I just can’t drive. Been good seeing you C J. Even if you are fucked up. Call me if you want to go out. You know, on a date. Even fucked up you look pretty good.”

Amy rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him C J. You know how he gets when he drinks,” Amy said.

“I know. For the record, this year, I’m Casey. Casey Jean.” I said Jean in the American pronunciation.

Matt’s ride came and we watched him get into the car. After another round of goodbye’s, the car took off.

“I’m heading to 13th street,” Jo said. “There’s a club I want to go to. I’m gonna get a cab.”

It didn’t take long for Jo to flag down a cab. She got in and was on her way. Amy turned to me.

“You let me know if you need someone to talk to while you’re on this assignment,” Amy said.

“Thanks, I got Abbey to talk to also. Besides, It’s not like people haven’t always thought I was a woman anyway. For now, when they see me, I’ll be a woman.”

“Casey, people may have mistaken you for a woman but you’ve never been a woman. This is a whole different ballgame. Just know I’m here if you need to have some girl talk.” She smiled.

“Thanks, Amy.” We hugged. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Her phone sounded. “My rides here.” Amy smiled again. Have a good night Casey Jean,” she said emphasizing Jean. She got in the car and waved goodbye.

The car pulled away. I hailed a cab and gave the driver my apartment address. As I sat in the back seat, I thought about the night. Matt seemed to be the most disturbed about my assignment gender change. Not considering him asking me out while he was drunk. I doubt he meant it. I wonder if he will remember asking me. I’m sure Amy and Jo won’t let him forget it. Jo also seemed out of sorts. Not as badly as Matt but there was something off. I’m sure my showing up in a skirt and makeup was a shock to all of them. But there was something about Jo’s reaction that didn’t seem right. Amy took my altered appearance the best. She even offered to help me if I needed it. What she said about being a woman is a different ballgame made me think. I’m not changing into a woman. I’m acting like a woman. I’m still C J. I’ll always be C J.

I remembered sitting at the bar while waiting for the guys. I thought how that bar would be a good place to follow up on Andrea’s experiment. She said I should try going to a bar. This one is a familiar place. I’ve been there many times. Just never alone as a woman.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

---

Byline chapter 10

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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I was bored the next evening. I decided to go to the bar for what I called Andrea’s experiment. Going to my closet, I found a nice, just above-the-knee-length sleeveless red dress. I thought it would do the trick. I put the lingerie I had purchased on my shopping trip with Andrea on the bed. I put a pair of open-toed sandals that matched the dress on the floor. I thought a black bag would go well with the outfit. With my outfit ready, I went to do my date night routine.

~~0~~

It seemed the bartender came over within seconds of me sitting down. My crossed legs were hanging down from the high stool. I ordered a cola. I did ask if they made milkshakes. The bartender referred me to the restaurant.

I was familiar with this hotel bar. I think I mentioned Matt and I would come here with the intention of picking up girls. Our success rate had not been as high as we would have liked. Looking around, I noticed my reflection in the mirror behind the bar. Damn, I looked good. I could not get over how much I looked like Abbey. Even with my own style, I still would have been mistaken for her twin. I started thinking maybe I’ll learn some new pickup lines tonight.

Fifteen minutes after sitting down, a guy sat two stools away from me and ordered a beer. Two sips of his beer later he started talking with me. I tried to be sure not to give him any of the subtle signals indicating I was interested that Andrea had taught me. He got the idea and left. Five minutes later, his spot was taken by another guy who ordered a whiskey on the rocks. He started to try to make conversation. I was polite and told him I was waiting for my boyfriend. He didn’t look pleased as he left the bar. I could see him watching me from the table he went to.

I found out that a good-looking, well-dressed woman at a bar gets offered drinks. During my first 45 minutes, I had politely refused three drinks. An hour and fifteen minutes into this experiment, the guy who ordered the whiskey came back to the bar. He took the stool right next to me and put his drink down between us.

“It looks like you’ve been stood up darling. How about we go somewhere and have a good time?”

“You might be right,” I said. “It seems I have been stood up. Thanks for the offer but I’m going to head on home.”

I got my bag and prepared to get off the stool.

“What’s the rush, honey? The night’s young. Let’s get dinner and you can tell me all about it. I can be a sympathetic ear.”

“Thank you but not tonight.”

He grabbed my arm. “I’m not used to taking no for an answer,” he said.

I tried to pull my arm away from him. As I did, our arms hit his glass spilling whiskey all over my dress and his pants. The glass crashed to the floor. I got off the stool and looked down at my whiskey-stained dress.

“That wasn’t very nice. You owe me,” he said.

The bartender came over. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, thanks. Please get the gentleman another drink.”

I reached into my purse and put the money on the bar. The bartender arrived with his drink.

“You owe me more than that darling.” He grabbed my arm again.

I was about ready to try pulling away again. With these heels on, I couldn’t get enough leverage. Suddenly a guy came between us.

“I believe the lady said she was going home for the night. I suggest you let her leave.” He took the guy's arm in his hand and pulled it away from me.

“This ain’t any of your business. She owes me!” the whiskey guy complained.

“She bought you another drink. I think the debt's been paid. Why don’t you take the drink and leave.”

“These pants are ruined, I’m going to have to get them dry cleaned.”

My benefactor took out what looked like fifty dollars and stuffed it in the guy’s shirt pocket.

“Buy yourself another pair. I don’t want to have to tell you again to leave.”

The whiskey guy looked undecided. He took his drink and thought it was better to retreat.

“I’m sorry about that. Someone like him gives men a bad name. Are you alright?”

I looked up as he turned. “Yes, thanks. I don't know how…” I stopped in mid-sentence.

“Abbey? What are you doing here?” he said. There was an awkward silence.

I almost died. I knew him. I knew him because Abbey knew him. It was her old boyfriend, Glen.

“Glen! um… It’s so good to see you. Thanks for your help.” I made sure I still had my bag. “I’m sorry. I just want to get out of here.”

“Sure, How about we go to the coffee shop down the street? We can catch up.”

“Um… sure.”

“That’s the last place I expected to see you,” Glen said as we walked to the coffee shop. “Were you waiting for someone? I heard him say you had been stood up.”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you after we order.”

We ordered our drinks. I got an iced vanilla latte. It’s the closest thing they have to a milkshake. Glen refused to let me pay. I felt I at least owed him the money he gave to the whiskey guy to get new pants. I found a table while he waited for the drinks. I could smell the whiskey on my dress. I smelled like a bar. He came back and set the drinks down. He still thought I was Abbey.

“Thanks.” I took a sip. I saw some lipstick on the straw. I still was getting used to seeing that. I'm going to have to use more lip primer and lick my lips first.

“When did you start drinking iced lattes’? That’s more C J’s style.”

I smiled and took another sip.

“It’s really good to see you. It’s been a while,” he said. “So what’s this long story?”

“Glen, I’m not Abbey.” He looked surprised.

“You’re not Abbey? But you look just like her. You know my name. Are you a cousin? She never told me she had a look-alike cousin.”

“Glen, I’m C J.”

I could see the shock on Glen’s face. He was suddenly speechless as words caught in his throat. He tried to process the news as he leaned back in his chair. He took a sip of his coffee. He soon recovered from the shock.

“You’re C J? I would never have believed it. When did you decide to, um, switch sides? Don’t get me wrong. You look great. Almost a spitting image of Abbey. I never would have known.”

I told him about me getting a job at the magazine, the idea for the article and how it evolved. I told him I was asked to write the article, about my training and why I was at the bar. He sat there taking it all in.

“You’re doing all this for an article? It’s like you’re an investigative undercover reporter.”

“You could say that. They expect it to be a feature article.”

“So you’re living as a woman for a year. Your sister told me you were going out with a guy for a while. That’s why I thought… and seeing you like this...well you know.”

“She Told you? She wasn't supposed to tell anyone. I’m gonna get her for that.” He laughed at me. “No offense. I can understand it,” I said.

“This experiment, as you called it, you should have had someone with you.”

“You’re right. It seems so obvious now. But that’s hindsight. I can't tell you how glad I am you were there. How did I get so lucky? What were you doing at the bar?”

“I’m speaking at a conference tomorrow morning. The conference is paying for the hotel. I’m staying there rather than fight the morning traffic. I was leaving to get dinner. I’m going to try the restaurant about a block from here. I’m glad I was there to help.” He paused as he finished his coffee. “This is going to sound strange since I was going to get dinner, would you like to join me? You could get back at your sister by telling me what she’s been up to.”

“It does seem a little weird,” I said. “I’m not Abbey.”

“Yeah, sure, I know. I’m only looking for the company. You're a familiar face, even if it is Abbey’s.”

“I have one condition. I pay for my meal.”

“It’s a deal,” he said. “Damn, you even sound like your sister.”

“I still smell like whiskey though.”

“Not a problem. It’s my favorite drink.”

Outside the coffee shop, I took his arm as we walked to a nearby restaurant. He didn’t seem to mind. I guess I overdid it a bit. I thought it would seem strange if I was walking beside him without holding his arm. I wondered if I was breaking some girl code by going to dinner with my sister's ex-boyfriend. It was just dinner. He only wanted company. I might ask Andrea about that.

At dinner, I told him all about Abbey’s apartment problem. I might have accidentally let it slip about her meeting Gil. It was an honest slip.

~~0~~

After dinner, Glen waited while I got a cab. We said our goodbyes. I thanked him again as the cab pulled away. I decided to call Abbey from the cab. I felt guilty about having dinner with Glen. She was home and said I could come over. I used the code to get into the building but knocked on the apartment door. Abbey let me in. I looked around. To my surprise, I didn’t recognize the place. Abbey had decided to totally redecorate. I mean everything. It really looked great. I wasn’t going to tell her though.

“Wow, what happened here? It looks so different.”

“I hope you don’t mind. It’s just… the apartment wasn’t feminine enough. I didn’t feel comfortable bringing a date here. I didn’t want to explain I was living in my brother’s apartment.”

“It certainly has your personality. Where’s my stuff?”

“I packed your personal stuff, neatly, in some storage boxes and put them in the closet.” She bit the right side of her lower lip. I knew next was news she didn’t want to tell me. ”I gave the furniture to goodwill.”

“You what? You gave it away? That was my furniture!”

“Casey, you got most of that at yard sales and flea markets. Nothing went together. You’re letting me stay here rent-free so I bought you new furniture.”

“You could have told me.”

“If I had, you never would have let me do it. You would have said I didn’t need to pay you back and you liked your stuff. Doing this made me feel good. This is my way of letting you know I appreciate you letting me stay here. Now it looks like a woman’s apartment when I bring a guy here.”

“Wait, you brought a guy here? Eww, I don’t want to know.”

She laughed at my comment.

“Sure I had a guy here,” She pointed at the rug. “We had sex on the rug...”

“Stop it!”

She pointed to the couch. “…and on the couch.”

“I’m not listening!”

“We might have had sex on the table too.”

“Abbey!”

She was laughing so hard I thought she would fall over.

I was wondering how I was going to tell Abbey I had dinner with Glen. How could I tell her I might have mentioned something about her meeting Gil. Okay, I did tell him. Did I break another girl code? She finally finished laughing.

“I’m glad you came over. You know I love spending time with my sister. Who I love.” She smiled at me. “You know, I kind of wish you had been my sister all my life."

"It's only for the year, sis.” I paused. I bit the left side of my lower lip. “You might not be so happy with me."

“What are you talking about?”

"I’m not sure, I was going to ask Andrea..."

"Ask her what?"

"If I broke some sort of girl code."

"Girl code? What girl code?"

I hesitated and bit my lower lip again. Damn, Abbey does that on the other side when she doesn't want to tell me something.

"Come on Casey, out with it."

"I kind of had dinner with Glen."

"You what!? How do you kind of have dinner with my ex-boyfriend?”

“Okay, I had dinner with him.”

“Where did you see him? Did he ask you out? Wait, did he know it was you or did he think it was me?"

"Abbey, let me explain."

I told Abbey about the night’s events. "Then he said he was going to dinner and asked if I wanted to come."

"You could have said no."

"I was hungry. I told him who I was right away. He knew it was me. All we did was talk. I paid half the bill."

"First, that was a stupid thing to do."

"I know, I should have said no."

"I'm talking about going to the bar by yourself. Why would you do such a thing?"

"I'd been there before when Matt and I would go out on a Friday night."

“Second, you shouldn’t go out with any of your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriends. Especially your sister's ex-boyfriends. But I don't have a problem with it. I'm not mad. Glen and I mutually agreed to stop seeing each other. I don't have to worry about you and Glen having a relationship, do I?"

"No, not ever. I think all he kept seeing was you. Even though he knew it was me. I think he pretended he was out with you. He even used your name a few times. I want any person I hook up with to want me."

"You didn't say any girl."

"I'm still working on that."

"Does that mean you'll go out with Dave when he comes to town?"

"Sure Abs. For you, I'll go out with Dave on a double date. I’m still not going to like it." I bit my lower lip again and began twirling my hair. "I think I told Glen you were seeing someone."

"You what! You told him about Gil?" I ducked as a pillow whizzed past my head. She laughed. "How did he react? Was he jealous?"

We talked about Glen, Gil and Dave for a while.

I got ready to leave and stopped when I realized something Abbey had said. “Abbey, you said you redecorated because you wanted to bring guys here. Have you brought someone here?”

"Gil's in town," she said. “He never really left.”

"He’s here? Is Dave in town also?" I didn't know why I asked about Dave. It sort of just came out.

"No. They bought a house outside of Philly in Ardmore. Dave had to get back. Gil stayed to finish the paperwork.

"He's been here all week? Wait. Is he the guy you brought here?" She bit her lower lip.

"Maybe."

"Abs, Eww. I don't want to know."

"Case, he's really nice. During our time together, I found I really like him. I had to make it look like my apartment. How could I explain I had a brother? Especially now. With that chest, it would be hard to pass you off as my brother. You should have seen the poem he sent me."

"A poem? He sent you a poem?"

"Here, let me show you."

She found the email and handed me her phone. I began to read,

Soft Warm Lips*

Whose lips are these? I think I know.
Their owner is quite happy though.
Full of joy like a vivid rainbow,
I watch her laugh. I cry hello.
She gives her lips a shake,
And laughs until her belly aches.
The only other sound's the break
Of distant waves and birds awake.
Her lips are soft, warm and deep,
But she has promises to keep,
After cake and lots of sleep,
Sweet dreams come to her cheap.
She rises from her gentle bed,
With thoughts of kittens in her head,
She eats her jam with lots of bread.
Ready for the day ahead.

"Oh my God. That is so bad. You don’t even like cats."

"I know but he wrote it for me. I think it's sweet. And I do like kittens."

"You've got it bad Abs."

~~0~~

*Thanks to the quick poem generator website found here:

https://www.poem-generator.org.uk/quick/

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 11

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

---

“You spoke with mom but you haven’t told her yet? How could you not tell her?” Abbey asked.

We were in her car driving the forty-five minutes to Mom’s house. She still lived in the house Abbey and I grew up in. I was telling Abs about my call to mom.

“I’ve talked with her a couple of times. I told her I like my job at the magazine and I’m now a full-time hire. I didn’t tell her about my assignment. I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. What could I say? Something like, Hi mom, my jobs going good. I got my first assignment. It’s a year-long assignment. It’s going to be a feature story and oh, I have to be a girl for the year. See you on your birthday. It just didn’t seem right.”

Abbey burst out laughing.

“That would have been so funny. So you decided to show up at the house in a dress without telling her. By the way, can I borrow it? It looks great on you.”

“Thus you know it will look great on you. Sure.”

We both had dressed up for mom’s birthday. We were taking her to her favorite restaurant. It was a wear your best type of establishment. It was expensive, but it was mom’s birthday and it was worth it.

I was wearing a knit half sleeve fit and flare mini dress in burgundy and 3-inch black pumps. Abbey had on a three-quarter sleeve gold mini dress with a lace overlay paired with 3-inch open-toed black sandals. We both looked great. I was thinking I might borrow her dress sometime during the year. I was nervous about springing my new look on mom. What if she had a problem with me wearing a dress? What if she had a problem with me presenting as a woman? I didn’t want to spoil her birthday. Abbey noticed I was nervous.

“Casey, why the nerves?”

“I’m not nervous.”

“You’re not huh? Let see, biting your lower lip, twirling your hair, shuffling your feet, sure, you’re not nervous. Hey, do you remember when mom use to dress us alike?”

“What…? No, when was that?”

“I was about five and you were three. She would dress us in the same outfits and let us play in the house. She didn’t do it often. Dad didn’t like it much but he didn’t see any harm in it. She probably won’t have a problem with you wearing a dress.”

“How do you remember something that happened when you were five? I can barely remember last week.”

“I’ve always been better at remembering things than you, sis.”

We arrived at mom’s house, my nervousness had not worn off. Abbey parked the car down the street from the house.

“Why did you park here?”

“Let’s see if mom can tell us apart. You go to the door first and I’ll hang back out of sight.”

“Really? We’re going to try to trick mom?”

“Twins try to do that all the time.”

“We’re not twins, Abs.”

“We are today. Go ring the bell.”

I got out of the car and walked to the front door. The sound of my heels on the sidewalk did not help to calm me down. I rang the bell. I stopped twirling my hair as the door opened.

“Hi Mom,” I said. I unconsciously bit my lip. We hugged.

“You’re early. I haven’t seen you for a couple of months.” She held me at arm's length. She looked at me from head to toe. “You’re looking good. I love the dress. It shows off your hair.”

“Thanks. It’s good to see you also. How are you doing, Mom?”

“I’m fine. But I do need to ask you a question?”

“Ask away.”

“Why are you wearing makeup and a dress, Casey?”

Before I could answer, Abbey came up the walk laughing.

“I knew it. I knew she would know it was you. Hi Mom.” She hugged Mom.

“Abigail, You look nice as usual. Did you help Casey with his...um... new look?”

“I didn’t have to. I’ll let him explain.”

“Get inside, both of you. I want to know why your brother is looking like your twin sister.”

We went inside and sat in the living room.

“I have to know, how did you know it was me?” I asked.

“The way you bite your lower left side of your lip. You always did that when you were scared or nervous about something. Abbey bites the right side. Plus your eyes. You both have the same color eyes but they sparkle differently. You can’t fool your mother. I will say, you did a good job. It would be hard-pressed for anyone to think you two were not twins. Now tell me what’s going on.”

I told her about the article I was writing including how it had evolved. I explained how I had been asked to become a woman for the year. I told her about the apartment, the benefits and the training. I mentioned how Abbey had given me breasts. Abbey rolled her eyes.

“Abbey gave you breasts?” Mom turned her head towards Abbey.

“She did,” I said.

“I didn’t give you breasts,” Abbey said.

“You suggested them.”

“So your breasts are real?” Mom asked. “You are still... you down there, right?” She motioned to my groin area.

“Yes, Mom. My crotch remains unchanged. I use special underwear to hide it.”

“I see. With everything you’ve told me it sounds like they sent you to Charm School,” Mom said.

Abbey’s eyes lit up. “Oh my God, your right. Casey, you’ve been to Charm School.”

“Charm School?” I said.

“Yes. You send your daughter to Charm School to learn to become a lady. From what you told me about your training, you’ve essentially been to Charm School.”

“I guess your right. They did tell me it was training to learn to act like a woman.”

“From what I have seen so far, they did a good job. You learned well.”

“Are you upset?”

“Upset? I’m surprised, not upset. How could I be? I have my two daughters taking me out for my birthday today.”

“We better get going. We’ve just enough time to make our reservation,” Abbey said.

The three of us collected our bags and left to get to the car.

“I can’t wait to tell you about the guy Casey met.”

“Casey met a guy?” Mom asked. As she turned her head to look at me, I could feel her eyes on me. “And you went out with him?”

“It wasn’t a date. They helped us when we went skating and we went to dinner with them. We found out they were going to the same concert. It was Abbey’s fault. I was doing her a favor.”

“But you had a great time,” Abbey said.

“I never said great.”

“You know you did.”

“Did not.”

“Girls, stop bickering.” I looked at our mother. Did she really use the term girls when referring to us? “We are out to have a pleasant evening. Let’s get to the restaurant and have a nice dinner. I want you two to act civil to one another while we are out. I am definitely having at least one drink with dinner.” Mom looked at me in the back seat. “Maybe more. I can’t believe how much you two are acting like sisters.”

“Abbey likes his brother,” I said.

“You met someone also?” Mom asked Abbey. “Wait, I don’t want to hear anything more about this now. Casey, I want you to tell me about your guy when we get home.”

I looked at my mother, then at Abbey.

“He’s not my guy.” I folded my arms and sat back.

“He even pouts like a girl,” Abbey said to Mom.

“After Casey,” Mom said to my sister, ”you’re telling me about your young man, Abbey.”

Abbey became quiet and concentrated on the road. I saw mom smile.

~~0~~

We got home from a very nice dinner and were relaxing in the living room. Abbey made coffee and brought both Mom and me a cup. When Abbey sat down Mom turned to me.

"So Casey, you said they taught you how to present yourself as a woman. Tell me about it."

"There was the obvious stuff like how to walk, how to walk in heels, how to talk, how to move. I learned about makeup and fashion. What goes together, what goes with my hair, eyes and skin. Then there were the subtle things like what to do when standing, gestures like twirling my hair. I learned proper greetings and how to handle myself as a woman in a social gathering."

Mom had been sipping her coffee as I was talking. "Sounds like the Charm School my parents sent me to."

"You never told me you went to Charm School,” Abbey said. “You threatened me with it at times."

"Yes I did," she said as she put her cup down. "Some times I think I should have sent you. When my mother sent me there, I hated it. I am a woman. Why did I need to go to school to learn to be a woman? Years later, I saw the wisdom in it. I know I mentioned it from time to time to you Abbey. But I feel I taught you what you needed to know to be a lady." Mom patted Abbey on her knee. "I never thought I should have been teaching my son how to be a lady."

She shook her head. I blushed.

"Tell me your impressions so far,” she said.

“My impressions?” I said.

“Your impression of being a woman.”

"It's only been a little more than a month. I'm still getting acclimated to things. One thing I have noticed right off the bat is society seems to put more pressure on women than men yet treats them worse than men. I’ve had to take a waitress job for the article. The woman's dress code is more stringent than the men's dress code. It seems to me society expects women to be perfect at all times. Men only have to be perfect at select times. Other times, they can be slobs. That's what I expect to emphasize in the articles." I realized I had used the word they when referring to men. I have to keep focus and remember I'm still a man even though I am presenting as a woman.

"You've learned a lot in a month sis."

"That he has," mom said. "Okay, both of you. Tell me about the young men you've met."

"It was Abbey's fault."

"What do you mean my fault?"

"If you hadn't let go, I wouldn't have fallen."

"I fell because you grabbed me."

"Girls!" We both turned toward Mom. "I am so glad I was spared years of this bickering. I guess I'll have to put up with it for the year. Now tell me, did you enjoy their company?”

"Yes," both Abbey and I blurted out at the same time. We looked at each other and started laughing.

"Tell me how you met them. You first Casey."

"Well, it started when we went rollerblading."

Abbey and I both told mom our story of the twins.

"So you and Gil hit it off. Are you going to see him again Abbey?"

"Yes. He stayed in town and we’ve gone out."

"And you Casey?"

"He’s been back in California I haven't heard from him."

"If you do, are you intending to go out with him?"

"I promised Abbey I would double with her when they are both in town."

"I see." Mom looked at the time. "Since I have you both here for the night, how about we have a movie night? Let's go get ready for bed. I'll make some popcorn. Abbey, you pick the movie."

We all got up. Abbey and I put the coffee cups in the kitchen then we went to go change.

Abbey and I came down, wearing our nighties, to the smell of popcorn. I was wearing the blue one. Abbey wore the pink one. After seeing it on Abbey, I realized how good it must have looked on me. Mom came out of the kitchen with the bowl of popcorn wearing her nightgown. She stopped in the doorway when she saw us.

"I don't know how I'm going to get used to seeing you two like this." She brought the bowl to the couch. I brought out drinks for us. We all sat on the couch. Mom was in the middle with me and Abbey on either side. Abbey started the movie. Mom put her arms around us as the movie began. The three of us snuggled together as the movie played.

~~0~~

In the morning, Abbey and I came down, still in our nighties, to find Mom making a pancake breakfast. Mom told us to get our coffee and sit as she had everything covered. We got our coffee and sat down. I thought breakfast was great. I've always loved Mom's pancake breakfast. Abbey and I cleaned up and got ready to go. We brought our suitcases down. We both dressed in jeans and flats for the ride home. My top was sea-green. Abbey's was lime green. We stayed with Mom and talked until just after Noon.

"You sure you two don't want lunch?"

“After that big breakfast, I won't be hungry till dinner," Abbey said.

"I'm good too, Mom," I said.

We started to leave. Mom walked us to the door.

"You two have a safe trip home," Mom said. "And you, young lady," Mom turned to me and held onto my shoulders, "You watch your step. Society doesn't look kindly on someone pretending to be a woman. You've been brought up male. There is no way one month's training to become female will erase 20 plus years of being male. If you need someone to talk to, you call me." I started to say I had Abbey to talk to. Mom seemed to know what I was going to say. "I mean other than Abbey. Just remember I'm here."

She hugged us and kissed me and Abbey on the cheek. "This has been quite a birthday. I had a wonderful dinner, an overnight visit and a new daughter.” She smiled. “It couldn't have been better." We all hugged again. Abbey and I walked to the car. As we pulled away, Mom closed the door.

"I think Mom really enjoyed our visit. I told you she wouldn't be upset with you being a girl for the year. I had a great time. How about you?"

I thought about what we had done. Mom and I were close, but never as close as she and Abbey. This weekend, I felt that same closeness. "I did too." This weekend I had been one of the girls. I enjoyed it.

"Don't hate me for saying this again,” Abbey said. “I kind of wish we had always been sisters."

"So you've told me. We probably would have fought a lot. I would have been stealing your boyfriends. I am the pretty one."

“You are not,” Abbey said. We both started laughing.

Still thinking of the weekend, I wondered what would it have been like if I had been Abbeys sister? Did I share Abbey’s wish? What’s happening to me?

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Byline chapter 12

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Working as a waitress wasn’t much different than working as a waiter. You greet the people, take their order, bring the food, check up on them, ask about dessert and give them the check. I could do it in my sleep.

About 4 weeks in, Emma stopped me as I was getting ready to start my shift. You could say Emma was kind of the captain of the wait staff. She was not one of my favorite people. I didn’t work the same shift as she did which was fine with me.

“Casey, I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up, Emma?”

“I know you’re still new here but I have to say something. You’re not pulling your weight getting tips. You need to start bringing in more. You’re bringing down everyone’s tip total.”

“But how do I get someone to tip me more? I take care of my tables as well as anyone.”

“How you do it is your problem. Have a good night.” She walked out the door leaving me speechless. As I was standing there, Gwen came over to me.

“I see Emma gave you the talk,” Gwen said.

“The talk?” I was slightly confused.

“The talk about getting more tips. She gives it to most of the new girls.”

It was strange. Emma had made me feel I was letting everyone down. The staff shared tips. If I was not bringing in enough, I was letting people down. “What do I do? How do I get more tips?”

“I’ll tell you what worked for me. You have to make people feel good,” Gwen said.

"Make them feel good? How do I do that?”

"You're being a good waitress. You’re taking orders, getting them right. You’re checking up on your tables. Just what you’re supposed to do. Now you have to be a cheerleader."

"A cheerleader?" Now I was confused.

"Well, that’s what I call it. A cheerleader’s job is to boost the spirit of the crowd, to get them to feel good about the team and themselves. Here, we're the cheerleaders. The diner is the team. When you greet a table, give a smile, ask how everyone is doing. Make them feel like they are your only customers. A bit more makeup wouldn’t hurt. Customers like to see a pretty face." She smiled and went to get the order for one of her tables.

I thought about what she said. I hadn't been thrilled when I was told to interview for a waitress position. Maybe that was affecting my performance. I do like most of the people working here. They've accepted me as part of the diner family. I do want to help them in the tip department. I'm sure I could smile more and be more interested in my customers. But there was the makeup comment. Could looking better get me more tips? I decided to talk to Abbey about this. I'm sure she'll have some ideas.

~~0~~

"So you're not bringing in the tips. You know, what she told you will probably work."

"The makeup too? Why is it women have to wear makeup to help them get things?"

"You still have a lot to learn. If a pretty face can start wars, it should help bring in the tips," she said. "I do have an idea. I've been thinking about doing something for a while but I haven't had the nerve. Maybe now is the time. You're spending the day with me after yoga class Saturday."

~~0~~

Saturday Abbey and I had a quick breakfast after yoga class.

"Have you seen Gil?"

"He called. We’re going out this weekend. Dave might be back in a couple of weeks."

"That’s okay. I’m not anxious to go out with him again."

"Casey, why are you having trouble with going out with Dave? I mean, you've gone out with a guy before. I know you weren't pretending to be a woman then. It’s not like your trying to get him interested in you. Why the cold feet?"

"That's just it. When I went out with Matt, we both knew we were guys. There was no pretending. Would anyone think I was a guy now? Would a straight guy want to go out with me knowing I'm a guy? Would a gay man go out with me looking as I do now? I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo. I'm only good if a gay guy is not out of the closet.

"I never thought how hard this assignment has been on you. It's only been, what, two months?"

"Give or take. This must be why the magazine thought I needed someone to support me. I can't thank you enough for helping me with this."

"That’s what sisters are for." She smiled. I returned the smile. “I’ve been meaning to ask. How well are you handling this? Being female I mean.”

“It’s been crazy. I feel like I’ve been transported to another planet. Being a woman is much different than I expected. You know I've never fit in. I’ve always looked more feminine than masculine. God knows I’ll never be a poster boy for masculinity. Everyone looking at me tries to put me in the male or female category. I usually end up on the female side. It's not intentional. It's human nature. People like things to fit into normal categories. I'm like a square peg on a board filled with round holes. I just don't fit. But look how easy it was to make me look like a woman. Even with the little bit of makeup you used the first time after you gave me boobs, no one would even think I was male. That's why I've always been somewhat of a loner. It wasn't until I met Amy, Matt and Jo that I felt that I somewhat fit in. After the implant surgery, it was a different feeling when we went out that night and the next day. People saw me and quickly put me in the female category. No strange looks. I can't tell you the number of times I've been called miss in the past.”

“Since this started, I've been presenting as female and have been recognized as female. I'm having trouble with fooling people. I don't mean the people walking down the street. I mean people I’m with all day. At the diner, I've been accepted as one of the girls, which feels good. I sometimes feel like I’m deceiving them. At the diner, when guys try to flirt with me, I always feel like I’m a phony. I tell them I have a boyfriend. That usually works.”

“The thing is, I like not getting the questioning stares. I like people accepting me for what I appear to be. I have to figure out which one is me. Is that so wrong? Liking all this, I mean? I’m a guy under this makeup."

"Not at all. I've never realized how hard life must have been for you in that way. You have always been my little brother. Until now, I've never looked at you as anything other than male. Now, I see a sister. I say, if you feel good this way, stay this way."

"You mean consider presenting as a woman even after the year is up? No way."

"Casey, I know it hasn’t been that long but, you seem happier since this began. I think you just explained why. I know you’ve complained about everything you’ve gone through. All I’m saying is keep your options open. I'm not telling you to have surgery. At the end of the year, it's your decision. Do you let me keep my sister or give me back my brother? No matter what you choose, I love you and support you. You know Mom does too."

“Thanks, Abbey. Did I tell you Matt kinda asked to date me?"

"Matt from college? I didn't know you had seen him since your, um, assignment started."

"The gang got together last month."

"All of them? Did they know? I mean had you told them?"

“No. I shocked them pretty good. Amy seemed to take it in stride, as usual. Matt was uncomfortable all night. Jo kept looking at me a bit strange."

"Matt does know you haven't changed where it counts, right?"

"Yeah, I made sure they all knew. I’m not going to go out with him. He was pretty drunk when he asked me."

“Well what I have planned for us won’t help you with him. Although it might.” She giggled before continuing. I rolled my eyes at her. “It may help you with getting tips.

“Okay, what's this idea of yours?" I asked.

“We’re going to the hair salon.”

~~0~~

Soft wisps of my copper-colored hair curled around my face. Waves of curls danced around my head when I moved. I reached up and jostled just to see them move. I laughed. I could hear Abbey laughing a chair away from me.

“You two look beautiful,” said my stylist.

“We were having a competition to see which of you would turn out best,” said the stylist next to Abby.

“It’s a tie. What else could you expect with twins,” my stylist said.

Abbey and I looked at each other, jostled our hair and laughed. Our stylists brushed our hair back into place. After a little hair spray, we were paying our bill.

I looked over at my stylist. I started thinking of how she had greeted me, how she had made me feel while I was there. I didn’t know her but yet I liked her. The tip I was going to leave her would show it. I was beginning to believe the information Gwen gave me was spot on.

We had only just gotten outside when Abbey turned to me.

“So what do you think?”

“It looks great on you so it must look even better on me,” I teased. Abbey gave me an elbow. “I can’t believe how good I feel.”

“When you look good you feel good. That’s something I don’t think guys understand. Wanna go try our new look out on some guys tonight?” She stopped and brought her hand to her face. “Casey, I sorry. I keep forgetting you’re not really my sister.”

“No problem sister dear. The way I feel right now, I am your sister. Let’s go get changed and get dinner and a movie. If we meet someone tonight, I’ll be okay with it. Even if we don’t, I’m going to count the looks we get.” The way I looked and felt, I almost forgot I was male.

“God, I love having a sister,” Abbey said.

~~0~~

“Come here. Sit down. Now that we have our hair done, I’ll show you what to do with your makeup,” Abbey said.

We had gone back to my apartment after the hair salon. We had talked about what else I could do to get more tips. I sat down at my makeup table looking at myself in the mirror. The hairstyle Abbey had suggested for both of us was terrific. My face in the mirror was the same face as this morning but the new hairstyle somehow made it seem new.

“Abs, I know how to put on makeup. I went to charm school, remember?”

She laughed. “It’s funny hearing you say that. Okay, miss makeup expert, show me what you intend to do to get more tips.”

I put the knowledge my makeup coach had taught me to work. I explained to Abbey what I was doing and why I was doing it. She agreed with most of it and added some hints here and there. I finished up and looked at my reflection. I was happy with what I saw. I turned to Abbey.

“Well? What do you think? Will this increase the tips I get?”

Abbey smiled. “Definitely sis, Definitely. It’s more than you normally do but it doesn’t look over the top and it seems so natural. You have to show me what you did. I look gorgeous! I mean you look gorgeous.” We laughed.

“Here, change places. I’ll show you what I did.”

When I was finished Abbey loved the look. “Who would have thought I would be getting great makeup advice from my little brother,” she said. I laughed. Who would have thought her little brother would become her twin sister.

We finished getting dressed and spent the night out.

~~0~~

It was my first day back to work after getting the new hairstyle and creating my new look. I finished my makeup and put what I would need to keep myself looking good all shift into my purse. I looked at myself in the mirror and I realized I had been pressured to look more attractive. I asked myself, why? Why did I have to get my hair styled and wear more makeup to increase my tips? What did makeup and looking attractive have to do with providing service to our customers? How about the guys? What did they do to increase their tips? They don’t wear makeup. Do they make less in tips than the girls did? Is that okay with Emma? This is definitely going into my article.

At work I got lots of compliments about my new look. Even Emma made a comment. I think she was actually jealous. All Gwen’s suggestions worked. Along with me smiling more and making my table feel special, plus a touch more makeup, my tips began to come on par with everyone's. I found getting more tips made me feel better about myself. I felt like I was contributing my share. I still found it annoying I had to look pretty and wear more makeup. Before talking with Gwen, my hair was plain and straight. My makeup was okay, nothing flashy. Now I had these gorgeous curls surrounding my face. My makeup had more eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipstick and blush. I had to do all this to get my tips to improve. No matter. I can put up with using more makeup if it helps with tips.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 13

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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I finished bringing an order to one of my tables. I folded my stand and put the tray under my arm. After 2 months working here, I was pretty much an expert carrying both the tray and the stand at the same time. As I walked back I glanced at the host station. I almost dropped the empty tray. There, waiting to be seated was one of the twins. I couldn’t tell if it was Gil or Dave. I almost put the tray up to my face so he wouldn’t see me. I got to the kitchen as fast as I could and peered out the door. Sandy saw me and stood beside me.

“What’s up? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she said.

“Can you see what table that guy who just came in was seated?”

Sandy looked over the dining room. “You mean the good-looking guy that just sat down and is sitting by himself? He’s at one of your tables.”

“Shoot, shoot. He can’t see me here,” I said.

Sandy gave me a funny look. “Casey, you okay? Why can’t he see you?”

“It’s a long story,” I said. “Can you take my tables until he’s gone? I’ll help out in the kitchen or something. Please, I’ll give you my tips for the night.”

“Okay, I’ll tell your tables you didn’t feel well or something.”

“Thanks.” I went deeper into the kitchen to hide.

Abbey told me Dave would be coming back this weekend. She was setting up our double date. I was still trying to decide if I was going to out with him. I know I told Abbey I would. Abbey and Gil had been out enough times that my not going out with Dave would not affect their relationship.

I still wasn’t sure which twin it was. I assumed it was Gil since he was in town. It doesn’t matter. I don’t want either of them to see me. How can I explain why I was working at a diner instead of the magazine. It seemed like I was in the kitchen for hours. He must be a slow eater. Sandy was doing a great job covering my tables. Sandy caught me in the kitchen.

"Casey, you know that guy you’re avoiding? His credit card says his name is David."

"Dave? I thought it was Gil."

"You couldn't tell Dave from Gil? What are they, identical twins?" she said.

"As a matter of fact, they are."

“How do you know him? Is he your Ex?”

“He’s not my Ex. My sister is going out with his brother.”

"Is he interested in you?” she asked.

“I think so.”

“And you're hiding from him? He looks like a catch. Is he single?"

"Yeah, he's single."

"If you’re not interested, do you mind if I try to move in?"

"Go for it," I said.

I watched as Sandy went back and gave Dave his credit card. While he signed the receipt, she began talking with him. I don't know why I felt a pang of jealousy. If he decided he wanted to call her, she was doing me a favor. Sandy was giving it all she had. Laughing, touching him on his arm and finally writing something down on his part of the receipt. She walked back smiling.

"He seems nice. It's your loss, Casey."

I forced a smile as she walked away. For some reason, I did feel it was my loss. It's better this way. I'm a guy and can't give him what he expects. I certainly can't give him what his brother is getting from my sister. I felt my eyes tearing. This is crazy. What am I crying for? I left the kitchen and went to the ladies' room. I sat there wondering what was wrong with me and trying to compose myself. This is nonsense. I’m crying because Sandy might take Dave away from me. Dave is not even mine. We haven’t even gone out yet. On top of that, I told her it was okay. I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m a guy. Okay, I’m Bi and might have tried to go out with him anyway. After a few deep breaths, I calmed down and felt the waterworks were under control. I fixed my makeup and headed back to the kitchen.

Leaving the Ladies' room, I had my head down still thinking about Sandy as I walked back to the kitchen. I suddenly felt like I walked into a wall. A guy had come out of the restroom and I walked right into his back. I began to apologize. He turned around as I looked up and saw Dave's face.

"I'm sorry, I didn’t see you... Casey? Is that you?” He saw my uniform. “You're working here? I thought you said you worked for a magazine."

"Dave! I thought you were back on the west coast. When did you get back? "

"I got in a couple of hours ago. Airplane food sucks so I came here for a bite. I haven’t stopped at the house yet. Gil doesn't know I'm here. I'm still on west coast time. It's close to 8:00 PM there. I'm really glad I ran into you. I mean that literally too." He smiled. I liked the way he smiled. "I have to say the hairstyle looks better on you than on Abbey," he said. I felt myself blush at the comment.

"You saw Abbey?"

"No, Gil sent me pictures of her new hairstyle. He can’t stop talking about her. Any chance we can talk?"

"Um, I have to get back to work. I'm done soon. Maybe we can go somewhere."

“I can wait for you in my car,” he said.

"Okay, I should be done here in about 15 minutes."

"I'll be waiting. It’s the blue rental out front. I’ll see you in a few.”

He turned and headed to the door. I stood there wondering what I was doing. I shook my head to get back to reality. I finished my shift and got ready to leave. I was trying to decide if I should tell him I was a guy.

~~0~~

I had no trouble finding Dave’s car. It was parked right outside the door. He saw me and unlocked the door as I approached. I slid in and closed the door.

“Nice car,” I said.

“It’ll do. As I said, it’s a rental. How come you’re working here? I thought you were on an assignment for the magazine.”

I tried to think fast. “I am. I’m doing a story on… on how waitresses are treated and what they have to put up with from employers and customers.” It sounded lame.

“So it’s like you’re undercover.”

“Something like that.” I needed to change the subject. “What did you want to talk about?”

“It’s about Gil and your sister. It seems they have really hit it off.”

“So she tells me. She’s planning for us to go on a double date.”

“So is Gil. Did you agree?”

“I did. Did you?”

“Yeah, but that’s why I need to talk with you.”

“What about?”

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“Okay…”

“Look, Casey, I had a good time with you that night. I’m not ready to get serious with anyone at the moment. I’m going to be traveling a lot for work. It wouldn’t be fair for me to get serious with anyone right now. Gil’s work doesn’t have him traveling.” He paused. “He has really fallen for your sister.”

“She’s fallen for him also.” I paused a moment. “I’m not ready to get serious either. I don’t know what work has in store for me. I think we're on the same page. They both want us to double with them. Let’s double, no strings attached.”

“That’s great,” he said.

Just then I saw my bus leave the bus stop. “Oh shit, I missed my bus. I’ll have to call for a ride.”

“Don’t worry. I can drive you home.” He started the car.

“You don’t have to. I can call a ride.” I started to get out my phone.

“It’s not a problem. I’m the reason you missed your bus. It’s the least I could do.”

We were soon on the road heading to Center City. I put my phone back in my bag.

"How did it go with Sandy?" I asked.

“Who? Oh, the waitress. She gave me her number. Is she a friend of yours?”

“She’s a work friend. Are you going to call her?”

“I don’t know. She did seem nice. I’m thinking about it,” he said.

“She’ll be disappointed if you don’t.” I smiled.

~~0~~

“Of all the places to eat and he picks the diner,” Abbey said. We were eating takeout in the living room of my old apartment. “You two talked and you decided to go out with me and Gil?”

“Yep, that’s about it.”

“Did you tell him about… you know, you?”

“No, when he said he didn’t want to get serious with anyone yet, I didn’t see the need to tell him,” I said.

“I guess that makes sense.” She put another fork full into her mouth.

“So where do you think they’ll take us on our double date?” I asked Abbey.

“I was going to suggest rollerblading.”

“Don’t you dare!” I said. She laughed.

“When you fall Dave can put his arm around your waist and help you up.”

“Abbey!”

“Of course, you’ll fall a couple more times just so you can feel his strong arms around you,” she teased. I picked up a small couch pillow and threw it at her.

“That’s your move,” I said. She screamed and caught the pillow without spilling any food. We began to convulse in laughter. Our laughing fit began to fade and Abbey continued.

“Gil suggested we go to dinner and I suggested a comedy club in the city. How’s that?”

“That sounds perfect.”

~~0~~

Sunday night I was folding laundry when I got a call. It was my mother.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, Casey. I’m calling to find out how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine, Mom. How about you?”

“I’m good. I mean how are you holding up?”

“I’m doing good. There have been a few moments. I’ve got Abbey to talk with. Then there’s, Amy, Matt and Jo. More so Amy and Jo.”

“I didn’t know you had told them.”

“I told them not long ago when we all got together.”

As we talked, I told her about the diner and seeing Dave there. There was a short silence. “Mom, do you think it’s wrong for me to date a guy?”

“Why do you ask that? Are you thinking of having a relationship?

“Not a relationship. Just going out on a date.”

“Men dating men. It happened in my day. No one was as open about it back then. Not like today. I used to think it was wrong. Through the years, I’ve changed my mind. As they say, the heart wants what the heart wants. I’ve learned to accept it.”

“My heart doesn’t want anything. It would just be a date.”

“Can I ask who with?”

“Dave, one of the twins. He and I spoke the other day. He told me he’s not ready for a long-term relationship.”

“Were you thinking of a long-term relationship?”

“No, not at all. I told him the same. It’s just… I might have to go on dates during this year.”

“You might have to go on dates?” she asked.

“Okay, I might want to,” I said.

“And it will probably be with a guy. I understand,” she said.

“Would you be okay if I did?”

“Honey, what you do is your business. You don’t need my permission or approval. I think you would have to tell any guy you go out with you’re not truly a woman.”

“Yeah, you’re right of course. But when is the right time to mention that?”

We talked for some time. I agreed with her. I shouldn’t deceive someone about that. I’ll cross that bridge if I have to.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Byline chapter 14

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

---

Abbey, Gil, Dave and I had our double date. Dave and I had a good time together. I didn’t feel the need to tell Dave I’m a guy. We both knew this was not going to go anywhere. We parted as friends and didn’t date again.

My time at the diner was almost finished. I had worked at the diner for about 2 and a half months. I had been sent on a few interviews during that time.

While I was getting ready for the interviews, Abbey’s words about using any advantage I could came back to me. I had been doing some online research. I found the trait society values most for women is attractiveness. I found it to be true for getting tips. I used it to get the waitress job and was going to use it to attempt to get a new job. Along with a short dress and heels, I was attempting to look as attractive as possible.

While not super short, my dress was about 4 inches above the knee. My makeup was not overdone and looked natural. If society was going to require a woman to look attractive to get a job, I was going to look my best. After all, what was my alternative?

I could choose little or no makeup. I could wear a simple dress or a pantsuit that would be appropriate for an interview. A pair of flats would work instead of heels. I could throw out everything society expected of women. If I did, I’m certain someone else would get the job. I didn’t need the job but if I did, I’d be throwing away any chance I had of getting the job.

One interview was for a receptionist at an advertising firm. During the interview I was told the receptionist would be the first face clients would see. I had been told a clean professional appearance was necessary. The dress code was a dress or skirt suit and heels. Friday’s were casual so I could wear a pantsuit and heels if I wanted. I made a good impression. It wasn’t long before I heard back from them. It was nice going back to a 9 to 5 job.

My first day at my new job had me dressing appropriately for greeting clients. I had a bit more makeup than I did at the diner. My nails had been done on the weekend and were no longer red. I really needed a change. I still had my curly hairstyle. I wore a slate gray three-quarter sleeve peplum dress along with three-inch black pumps. I soon found out there was a lot of standing in this job. I stood almost all shift at the diner. At least I was wearing non-slip flat shoes there. Here I was standing a good portion of the day in 3-inch heels.

I was manning the desk with Hannah Moore. Hannah was a pleasant woman around my age and was eager to show me the ropes. Hannah was, in her words, “a struggling artist”. Her black hair was poker-straight in contrast to my curly hair. Compared to me she was tall standing about 5’9“, almost 6’ with heels. As I got to know her, I found it funny that she could be an exciting creative person. She also had moments she where was dull and moody.

Our job was simple: be the first face everyone sees as they come into the office. Greet the clients and ask who they were here to see. Contact the manager to inform them their client was here. Escort the client to the appropriate meeting room. When everyone was seated we would ask if anyone would like coffee, tea or water. We would bring the drinks back to the meeting room. At times, it was like being in the diner again. We would also take phone calls and direct the call to the proper department. We also handled some scheduling. My major complaint was there was no chair for me or Hannah to sit on.

I noticed, quite soon, that all the women in the office wore either a dressy skirt and top or a dress. They would pair the outfit with heels. varying in height from 3 to 5 inches. At the desk, our dress or top was covered by the company blazer we both wore. The guys were a different story. I never saw a male partner outside of his office without a suit coat. Male managers always wore their suit coats in meetings. They were frequently seen in the building without suit coats or ties. Female managers all wore business skirt suits and heels. The mail clerks, if they were male, wore polo shirts and khaki pants and, most often, sneakers. If the mail clerk was a woman, she wore a skirt and top and heels. Here was another example of women having to be attractive.

~~0~~

There were times I needed to talk with someone other than Abbey or mom. Those times I thought of Amy. While working at the diner, I had not been able to go out with the gang. I contacted her and we agreed to meet at a Saladworks close to her job. I was wearing a navy blue top with ruffled cap sleeves and crochet flowers on the collar. A matching skirt and a 3/4 knot sleeve blazer had completed my work look. As per company policy, I was wearing nude 3-inch pumps. I was probably overdressed for going to Saladworks. After quitting time, I freshened my makeup put my crossbody bag in place and headed to meet her. As I walked out, I wondered if Saladworks had anything other than salads.

I met Amy outside the store. We walked in and ordered. I decided on a chicken Caesar salad and diet cola. We got our food and found a table.

"Thanks for having dinner with me," I said.

“I’m still trying to get used to you dressing like that,” she said. “Nice outfit.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Me too.” I smiled

“How’s the writing going?”

"Struggling with that a bit. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay,” she said

“I went out on a date.”

“You what? Wait, I have to hear about this.”

I told her about meeting the twins, and my discussion with Dave.

“Sounds like you dodged a bullet. With the way you look though, I'm surprised the guys aren't all over you."

"Oh, they are. I've been telling them I have a boyfriend. That seems to work."

"What are you doing that for?"

"I'm not sure I want to go out with a guy if he doesn’t know I’m a guy. I don't want to string someone along."

"So tell them and go out and have some fun."

"You sound like my mother. She says I should tell them also. I wish it were that easy."

"Look, you tell a guy you’re a guy. If it bothers him, he leaves, if not, have fun.”

"You make it sound so simple."

"I think you complicate things. Guys are visual. The way you look, I don’t think they will care.”

~~0~~

I had been at the ad agency for about 3 weeks. It had been a particularly tiring day. I couldn’t wait for 5 o’clock to come so I could go home and put my slippers on.

“Any plans for tonight Casey?” Hannah asked as she saw me looking at the clock.

“Not tonight. I can’t wait to get home and put my feet up.”

“I know what you mean. I’m going to get home, order a pizza and watch Twilight. It’s one of my favorite movies.”

“One of mine too!” I said a bit too enthusiastically. In truth, I did like the movie. Abbey loved the series, the books and the movies. I had watched it with her when she got the movie.

“Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you come over tonight? We can watch it together. While we’re waiting for the pizza, I’ll show you some of my drawings and paintings.”

This was the first time since my assignment started that I had been asked to do something with a woman. Abbey, Amy and Jo don’t count.

“Sure, that sounds like fun.”

Shortly after five, Hannah and I were taking the short El ride to her apartment. She opened the door, putting her bag down on the table by the door. “Make yourself at home,” she said. “I’ll get the menu off the fridge. The bathroom is to the right if you need it.”

I settled into the nearest chair. “You have a very nice apartment,” I said.

“Thanks. It’s not much but it’s home for now. Once my paintings start selling, I’ll move to something nicer.” She handed me the menu. “I like pepperoni pizza. We can order another pizza if you want something else.“

“Pepperoni is fine,” I said as I handed her back the menu. “Would you order a vanilla milkshake for me please?”

“Sure no problem.”

Hannah got out her phone and dialed the number. “I’m going to use the restroom,” I said.

I got back to find Hannah getting things ready on her TV. Her flat-screen TV had a 43-inch screen. “How about you show me these paintings of yours?”

“Oh, sure.” I followed Hannah to a small bedroom. There must have been 15 paintings leaning up against the wall. In the middle of the room stood an easel with cloth covering a canvas. She brought me over to the far corner of the room. “These are my most recent paintings.” I looked at them listening to Hannah explain why she painted what she did. They were very good.

“These are really good,” I said. “You’re going to be famous real soon.”

“That would be fine by me.” She smiled. “Let me get my sketchbook. We can look through it while we wait for the pizza.”

Back on the couch, Hannah and I paged through her drawings. She was talented. “Have you ever shown your work to the head of the art department?”

“At work? No.”

“You really should. These are as good or better than some of the work I’ve seen coming from there.”

“You think so? You're not just saying that, are you?” She was holding the book on her lap when the door buzzer rang. Hearing it was the pizza delivery guy, she buzzed him in.

“Stay there,” I said. “I’ve got this.”

“You don’t have to. I invited you.”

“I know. I want to. It’s thanking you for showing me what I need to know at work and showing me your artwork.”

I got to the door in time to hear the knocking. I paid the bill adding a nice tip. I put the pizza on the table. Found my milkshake and the diet soda Hannah had ordered. I handed her the soda and took a sip of my shake. Hannah opened the pizza box as I handed Hannah a plate. With food and drink in hand, we settled back on opposite ends of the couch. We had our legs curled up under us as we watched the movie.

Hannah had her sketchbook with her during the movie. I could hear the charcoal pencil as it went across the page. I wondered what she was doing. Inspiration must have hit her. When the movie was over, she put her book down.

“Would you like a cup of coffee before
you go?”

“Sure, do you have de-caf?”

“Yep, it’s all I drink after seven.”

She came back with the coffee. “Did you hear about Kaylee?”

“No, what happened?”

“She wore flats to work the other day. They sent her home without pay.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No. They told her if she violates another work rule she’ll be discharged.”

“They’re going to fire her for not wearing heels? Is that legal?”

“All I can tell you is she needs the job. If wearing heels will let her keep the job, she’ll do it.”

We finished our coffee and I got ready to go. “This was fun. We should do this again sometime,” I said. “Hannah, have you ever thought about having an exhibit?”

“For my paintings? Sure. It’s been a dream of mine. I even have the venue picked out.”

“You do, where?”

“A nice place on Rittenhouse Square. It’s a great location. I need to scrape up enough money first.”

“Maybe you can show me the place. I’d like to see it.” I got my things and headed to the door. “See you tomorrow.”

“Oh Casey, wait.” She went to her sketchbook and tore out a page. “This is for you.”

I looked at the page. Hannah had drawn a scene from the movie. Instead of the actress, she had drawn me into the scene. “Hannah, this is fantastic. You did this during the movie? Thank you.” We hugged.

“I’m glad you like it. See you tomorrow.”

Outside, I flagged down a cab. I really enjoyed myself tonight. It was the first time I felt like I belonged on this alien planet of womanhood. I felt a bond between us. It was not like a male-female bond. It was more like a sisterhood bond. I wasn’t sure I should feel this way. But it felt good.

While on the ride home, I thought about what Hannah had said about having an exhibit. I’m sure Hannah is wasting her time at the reception desk. Then there was the Kaylee situation. I didn’t think it was fair that they could send her home or fire her for not wearing heels. I smiled to myself as I remembered there’s power in the pen.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 15

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Chapter 15

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“Miss are you alright? Stay still.” Someone was talking to me. “Get one on the paramedics over here.” I heard the voice say.

I was in a fog. There were flashing lights all around. I was on the ground. I saw a policeman kneeling down talking to me. But why was he calling me miss? I looked around to see who he was talking to. I saw a crowd standing around. I tried to move. I saw a pair of legs move. One bare leg had one half of a pair of heels on its foot. I tried to move again. The same legs moved. I realized they were my legs. Why are my legs in a skirt? Why am I wearing one high heel? I’m a guy. I looked at the officer. I felt a throbbing coming from my head. I reached up and my hand came away with blood. I was confused. I could feel panic rising in me.

“What happened? Why am I bleeding? Why am I wearing a skir…”

“Relax miss. Stay right here. The paramedic’s on the way.”

I was helped up to a sitting position. I did what I was told and stayed put. I was still trying to figure out what happen and why I was wearing women’s clothes. Slowly things started to get clearer. I began to remember why I was dressed as a woman. I remembered who I am. I remembered walking down the street to get dinner. I didn’t remember why I was on the ground with blood on my face. I saw someone coming over to me.

“Miss, stay still. Let me check you. Follow my finger. That’s good. What’s your name?”

“C J, I mean Casey, Casey Jean.”

“Nice to meet you, Casey Jean. Can you tell me what day it is?”

He continued to go through his protocol. I answered the rest of his questions to his satisfaction.

“Great, let’s get you up off the ground. Let me help you.” He let me lean on him as I got up. I took a step and stumbled.

“Easy now. I’ve got you,” he said. I stopped, reached down and took off my other heel. I held it up so he could see it.

“It’ll be easier to walk now,” I said.

“I’ll bet,” he said. I looked at him and saw him smile. I thought it was a great smile. “Let’s get you over to the van.”

“What happened?” I asked,

“That can wait. Let’s get you cleaned up and take care of that cut on your head.”

“Cut? On my head? Is it on my face? How bad?” I said. What’s wrong with me? I sound like a woman worried about her face.

“Take it easy. It doesn’t look bad. You should be able to cover it with your hair while it heals. Here we are. Sit down.”

I sat at the back door of the van. I still saw the crowd of people standing around. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was walking down the street to get dinner. I had to wait for the light to change before crossing. I started crossing the street. I got to the other side when I heard some sort of loud noise. Next thing I knew a policeman was talking to me.” He reached over and touched some gauze to the side of my head. “Ow, hey,” I said. I pushed his hand away. “Watch it.”

“Sorry, I should have warned you. This is going to sting. I need to clean that cut.” He went back to cleaning. This time with a gentler touch. When he finished, he folded some gauze and taped it to my forehead.

I studied his face while he worked. “How bad is it?”

“It’s not that bad. You won’t need stitches,” he said. “Here, put this over that cut.”

He handed me a cold pack and while holding my hand applied the cold pack to the side of my forehead. “You’re going to have a good bruise there. You might be able to hide it with makeup and your hair.”

“Thanks. Can you tell me what happened now, um… Kevin?” I had looked at his name badge and saw his name was Kevin B. Russel. Kevin was a tall, well-built guy who appeared to be in great shape. He had blond hair which he kept cut short at the sides with loose curls on the top of his head. He had amazing blue eyes. He smiled at me when I said his name.

“How did you know my name?”

“I read your name badge,” I said.

“Oh, right," he said. "They were demolishing a building about a half a block away. It was the middle of three buildings. Something went wrong and one of the side buildings collapsed. You got hit with some of the debris. You were lucky. People closer to the building when it collapsed were hurt much worse. You don’t have to worry. I think you’ll be fine.”

I sat there with the ice pack on my face as he started on some paperwork. “What’s the B stand for?”

“Excuse me?” He looked up after checking off something on his clipboard.

“The B on your name tag. What’s it stand for?”

“My middle name.” He smiled again. God, I loved his smile.

“I figured that out,” I said. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Tell you what, if you give me your number, I’ll tell you when we go out.”

I looked at him which wasn’t hard to do. “Do you always ask the girls you treat for their phone number?”

“Nope, you’re the first. You’re kind of interesting. I thought I’d take a shot.” He started packing his medical supplies away.

He was cute. I would have been interested in going out with him even before my assignment. He asked for my number. He must be interested in me. Well interested in the girl he thinks I am. This is crazy. I shouldn’t be doing this. I decided if he could take a shot, so could I.

“Let me see your pen,” I said. With a surprised look, he handed me his pen. I wrote my number on the edge of the sheet on his clipboard. “Call me. We’ll go for coffee or something. We can talk for a while.” I handed him back the clipboard.

“Thanks, Casey. I’ll give you a call and we can set something up. Don’t forget to keep the cold pack on. You don’t want that swelling up.”

I looked around to be sure I had everything and realized I only had one shoe. And today I didn’t carry my sneakers with me. I was going to say something to Kevin. Just then, an officer came up to us carrying my shoe. He spoke to Kevin and handed it to him.

“They found your shoe. Now you have a matching pair.” He cleaned it out a bit then handed it to me and smiled again.

“Thanks,” I said. I returned his smile. Why is it when he smiles, I smile. I took my shoe from him and started to put both shoes on. I took my time. I stood up, straightened my skirt and my bag which somehow had stayed on my shoulder.

“You probably have a mild concussion. I gave you a clean bill of health so you don’t have to go to the hospital. If you have any concussion symptoms, get yourself to a hospital,” he said. He handed me a paper with concussion symptoms and instructions. “I’m serious.”

I took the paper. “I will. Thanks.”

“Can we give you a ride home?” asked the officer who returned my shoe.

“That would be great, officer. Thank you.” I followed the officer to his car.

“Bye Casey Jean.” I heard Kevin say.

“Bye Kevin B,” I called and waved back.

I gave the officer Abbey’s address. I wanted to be with my sister right now. I also needed to ask her how to hide my injury.

~~0~~

Abbey met me at her door.

“Hi Abbey,” I said still holding the cold pack to my face as she opened the door.

Her eyes got wide when she saw me. “Casey, Oh my God! What happen to your face? Are you okay? She hugged me tighter than I think she ever had.

Almost before I got in the door, Abbey was examining my face. I told her a condensed version of what happened. “Do you know what hit you?”

“Not a clue. I remember hearing a noise then waking up on the ground.”

“I heard something about a building collapse on the news. Sit down.” Abbey had me sit on the couch and continued to examine my wound. “Why were you near there?”

“I was going to get dinner.”

“So you haven’t eaten. I’ll get another cold pack and order out for some food.”

Abbey called for delivery and fussed over me until the food arrived. We sat in the kitchen eating our salads. I told Abbey the full story of what happened. At least as much as I knew.

“Your not knowing where you were and not remembering you’re presenting as a woman when you came to worries me a bit. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine. I’ve got a headache. I remember everything up to the time I got hit and after I woke up. The paramedic said I was fine and told me what to watch out for.”

“That’s good but I want you to stay the night.”

“I was hoping I could.”

I had been holding the cold pack on my face the whole time while eating. I thought Kevin would be happy with me. When we finished, Abbey took the cold pack from me and looked at my face. “Oh, that’s starting to bruise.”

“Damn. Do you think I can fix it with makeup until it heals?”

“Maybe. You might be able to cover it up a bit but not completely.”

“Crap.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I might have a date?”

Abbey looked surprised.

“A date? With who?”

I bit my lower lip before answering. “The paramedic who treated me.”

“Wait. You almost have a building fall on you and you got yourself a date? Casey, I didn’t know you had it in you.” She smiled.

“He’s really good looking and I asked him about his middle name. He said he would tell me if I gave him my number and we went out. It’s only for coffee and to talk.” I said almost without stopping.

“Casey, slow down,” Abbey said. I took a breath.

“His name is Kevin. His middle name starts with a B. His badge didn’t spell out his middle name, so I asked him. That’s when he asked me for my number. He told me he never asked a patient for their number before. I was the first. I gave him my number so I can find out.”

Abbey laughed. “Sounds like you have a bit of a crush, little sister,” she said.

“I’m trying to decide if I’m going to tell him when he calls,” I said.

“Tell him what?”

“Tell him about me, about my assignment. That I’m really a guy presenting as a woman.”

“You don’t have to tell him about your assignment. You could tell him your in transition.”

“I’m not in transition.”

“I know that. He doesn’t have to know it. If you were in transition, you would be living as a woman for at least a year. Then you would be making a decision. It might be easier than saying you’re presenting as a woman to get a story.”

“Why do you think that?” I asked.

“If you tell him you are in transition, you are implying you intend to become a woman. Once he gets over the shock that you’re a guy, the implication that you feel you are a woman and will become a woman is there. Telling him you’re presenting as a woman to get a story implies you do not feel you are a woman. You will go back to presenting as a man when the assignment is over. That will be confusing to him. I guess what I’m trying to say is he might feel better thinking you are intending to become a woman.”

“I see what you’re saying. I don’t know. I think I’m getting ahead of myself.” I shook my head which was a mistake as it caused some pain. “I just gave him my number. He might not even call.”

Abbey looked at me and gave me that smile that told me she knew exactly how I felt and what I was thinking.

“You’re really hoping he calls, aren’t you?” She said.

“I think I am.” I put my hand up to my head. “Do you have something for a headache?”

“Of course I do.” She left and came back with two pills and a glass of water. I took the pills from her and swallowed them.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. After we clean up, let’s go to the bedroom and see what we can do to cover that bruise.”

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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~~0~~

Byline chapter 16

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Chapter 16

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Even with makeup, the bruising was noticeable. I covered it up the best I could. When I got to work, I got a lot of questions about what happen to my face. Especially from Hannah. To my surprised, nearly everyone asked me if my boyfriend had hit me. I assured them that was not the case as I didn’t have a boyfriend at the moment. I explained what had happened. Nearly everyone had heard about the building collapse. It was nice that so many people cared enough to ask why I was sporting a facial bruise.

It was a slow day at the desk. The partners and managers had left to go to a golf outing. There was very little going on once everyone left for the golf course. When my phone went off, I was surprised and happy to see it was Kevin. I wasn’t surprised he called. Is that being conceited? My surprise was he called so quick.

“Hi Casey. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Actually, it’s a good time. I do have a minute or two I can talk.” I signaled to Hannah I was going to the hall to take the call.

“How’s the bruise?”

“Still there. Unfortunately, makeup can only do so much.”

“I won’t keep you long. Would today be good to make our coffee date?”

“So it’s a date now? You move fast.”

“Okay, not a formal date.” He paused for a second. “I didn’t just blow it did I?”

I laughed. “No, you still have a chance,” I said.

“Would you like to get some coffee say, around 6:00? There’s a Starbucks at 9th and Chestnut.”

“I know the place. I might not be there until 6:15 though.”

“That’s fine. Let’s make it 6:15 then.”

“Alright. See you then, Kevin.“

“Till then Casey Jean,” he said.

I loved the way he said my name. I held the phone to my chest after we hung up. I had a date! Okay, it was just for coffee. I know I’ve been on a date with Dave. Dave was more a result of my helping Abbey and it was a double date. I felt Kevin was my first real date since I started presenting as a woman. It was a date where Abbey had no involvement. I walked back to the desk. I must have been grinning from ear to ear.

“Someone seems really happy,” said Hannah. “You just win the lottery or did you get a date?”

“I got a date,” I said. I almost squealed.

“You have to tell me with who,” she said.

“The paramedic who treated me at the building collapse called. He invited me to get coffee.”

“You’re this excited over a coffee date?”

“It’s a start,” I said. “It’s my first date since Dave and I broke up.”

“Good for you. I hope it works out. Find out if he has a brother,” she said.

My good mood lasted for the remainder of the day. Even my concern as to whether I was going to tell Kevin I was a guy didn’t dampen my mood. I thought of what Amy had said to me. Tell him. If it doesn’t bother him, have a good time. She might be right. Maybe I make things too complicated.

~~0~~

I left work a little early. Hannah didn’t have to do much to convinced me to go home and get ready. I got home with not a whole lot of time to get to Starbucks. I decided not to change. I was probably over-dressed for Starbucks. I didn’t care. As far as Kevin knew, I was coming from work after all. I was mainly here to re-do the makeup hiding my bruise. I found myself stressing over the bruise. I suddenly realized I was falling under societies pressure that a woman always look good. I’m not a woman. Presenting as a woman had me succumbing to what was expected of me as a woman. Surprisingly, my realization did not make me want to do anything different. I even decided to keep my heels on. I did what I could with the makeup and decided I had done enough. After all, he knew I had the bruise and still asked me out. I grabbed my bag and went to meet Kevin.

I got to the Starbucks and found Kevin sitting at a table. After working in the heels all day, I was wondering why I had decided to keep them on. Kevin waved to me as I entered and stood up as I approached the table. Gosh, I was nervous.

“Hi Casey, I got us a table.” He got up, walked around the table and pulled out the chair. “Sit and I’ll get the drinks. What would you like?”

“I’ll have a grande cold vanilla latte with whipped cream please,” I said.

“You got it. I’ll be right back,” he said.

I kept my eyes on him as he left the table and went to order. Kevin had come from work also. He looked very handsome in his paramedic uniform. He looked over to the table after he ordered. He saw me looking at him and smiled. I felt myself blush and smiled back. This must have been how Abbey felt when she first met Gil. I started to worry. When Kevin looked over he saw Casey the woman. I looked like and was presenting as a woman. What if he freaked out when I told him I am a guy? I suddenly didn’t want to tell him today. I got the urge to get up and leave as fast as I could. In these heels, I'm sure he would catch up to me before I got a quarter block away. I was starting to wimp out just as Abbey had predicted. It’s only coffee, I told myself. I almost had my emotions under control when Kevin came back with our drinks.

“Here you go,” he said. He sat across from me after putting my drink down. I nervously took a sip of my drink. “You did good covering the bruise. I almost couldn’t tell. So, how was your day?” He asked.

“It was slow today. Almost everyone was out of the office at a golf outing. We still had things to do. We could do things at a slower pace today.”

“I don’t know what you do,” he said. “Where do you work?”

“I’m a front desk receptionist at an advertising agency. How about you? Get to do anything interesting?”

“Not like the other day. It was a pretty normal day. A couple of heart problems, a few minor car accidents. There was nothing spectacular today.”

“Did you ask for anyone’s phone number today?”

He laughed. “You’re still the first and only number I’ve asked for.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true. I’ve never had the nerve to do it before. When I asked you, I didn’t think you were going to give me your number.”

I sipped more of my drink as he talked. “Why me? Why was I the first?”

“I don’t know. As I said, I thought you were interesting.”

“You don’t know anything about me. I’m not what you imagine.”

“How could you know what I imagine?” he said.

“I guess I can’t. Still, you don’t know anything about me.”

“I’d like to get to know you,” he said.

“I’ve waited long enough,” I said. “I have to know, what’s the B stand for? You said you’d tell me. We’re here so spill it.”

He laughed. “I did say I’d tell you, didn’t I.” He took a slow sip of his drink. I sure he was prolonging my agony on purpose. “The B stands for Brittany.”

“Really? Your middle name is Brittany? Your parents gave you a middle name of Brittany?”

“Yes, they really did.” He sat there looking at me. He seemed puzzled. “You’re the first person I’ve told who hasn’t laughed.”

I wouldn’t laugh, I thought. My parents named me Casey Jean.

“I have…, I know someone who isn’t happy with his middle name. He’s had to put up with it all his life.”

“My middle name doesn’t come up that often. Normally at graduations and places that like to use your full name. I’ve come to accept it. How about your friend? Has he been able to come to terms with it?”

I thought about it. I was talking about me. Since taking this assignment, I’ve come to like my middle name, and the American pronunciation. “Yes, I think he recently has.”

We talked for quite a while and lost track of time. Before we knew it, it was 8:00. Kevin noticed the time.

“Where did the time go. I didn’t mean to keep you this long.”

“I’ve had a good time,” I said.

I’m guessing you haven’t had dinner yet either.”

“Your right, I thought I’d get dinner after our coffee date.

“So I can call this a date?” He smiled at me. I smiled back. Why do I do that?

“Sure you can call it a date,” I said.

“Great,” he said. “Hey, I’m hungry. I’m guessing you are also. How about we continue our ‘date’ over dinner at Moriarty’s? It’s not too far.”

I thought about it before answering. I didn’t want our ‘date’ to end. “That sounds good but only if you allow me to pay.”

“That doesn’t seem fair. Dinner’s going to cost more than our coffee did,” he said.

“That’s my condition. Take it or leave it.“

“You drive a hard bargain. How about you pay and I leave the tip.”

He got up and waited while I collected my bag. Then we walked to dinner.

~~0~~

I got home late. I called Abbey hoping I wasn’t going to wake her. When she answered, I told her all about my date with Kevin.

“Then he took me home. He said he wasn’t upset I didn’t ask him in. Today was only suppose to be a coffee date. We kissed and he waited until I was in my apartment building’s door. I had a really great time with him.”

“Sounds to me like you have it bad little sister.”

“I don’t know. I might. Abbey, what am I going to do? He thinks I’m a woman. He likes me as a woman. He’ll hate me if I tell him I’m a guy. He’ll feel I betrayed him.”

“Stop that Casey. You don’t even know if he’s going to call you again.”

“I know he will. I like him, Abbey.”

“It was a first date.”

“I really like him.”

“Oh Casey honey, get to bed. Sleep on it. You don’t have to think about anything until or if he calls you.”

“When he calls me,” I said.

“Okay, when he calls, you can decide if you want to go out without telling him or if you need to tell him.”

“Abbey, I’m really confused.”

“I know sis. It’s new territory for you. Sleep on it and we’ll talk in the morning.”

I hug up with Abbey with my emotions still in a mess. I like Kevin and he seemed to like me or at least the person he thinks I am. I know this is just a beginning but want this relationship to continue. If I tell him right away, he may not want to see me again. If I wait and tell him after 3 or 4 dates, he may hate me for stringing him along. I know what the right thing is to do and that’s to tell him now and not wait. Right now I hate that I’m not a woman.

~~0~~

Abbey and I spent most of the weekend together. After our Yoga class, she took me shopping. It didn’t do much to elevate my mood. Sensing I needed her, she was going to cancel her date with Gil. I told her she should go and after a lot of discussion, she finally went. After she had gone, I called mom and asked if I could come over. She said I could but to dress up as we would go to dinner. I decided on a sleeveless houndstooth fitted dress and black 3-inch pumps. We were off to dinner almost as soon as I got there. I had to explain what happened to my face, of course. I told her about the building collapse. We settled down at home after dinner.

“I can see your having boy problems, young lady.”

I looked at her surprised she could tell and that she called me young lady. “How can you tell?”

“You look exactly like your sister did after she saw her first crush with another girl. So what’s going on?”

“I went out with the paramedic who treated me. Not on a date, well we did have dinner but it was only suppose to be coffee but we were talking and didn’t notice the time and…”

“Casey, stop. Start over.” I took a deep breath. “Now tell me, what’s his name?”

“His name is Kevin. We’ve only been out once and it wasn’t really a date. It was just for coffee. We did go to dinner, which I paid for. Dinner, I paid for dinner not the coffee. He paid for the coffee. I really like him and I think we hit it off. I want to go out with him again. I’m afraid if I tell him I’m a guy, we won’t go out again. If I don’t tell him, he’ll reject me when he finds out. I don’t know what to do.”

Mom sat back in her chair with her hands on her lap. “I never thought I’d be in this position. Giving advice on men to my son. The way I see it, you can tell him before your next date. On the other hand, you can not tell him and continue to go out with him. You understand, when you’re done with the assignment and you go back to being C J, you’ll need to break it off. You shouldn’t mention him in any part of your article.”

I let that sink in for a moment.

“Mom, what if I decide to continue to present as a woman?”

“You mean stay as a woman and not go back to being C J? Are you considering doing that?” She asked.

“Until now, I hadn’t been. I’ve been planning to go back to C J but now…”

“I was concerned about something like this years ago,” she said.

“Years ago? When? Why?”

“That Halloween night your sister talked you into being one of the Sailor Scouts for the party. It was how easy you fell into the role. How you acted when your father and I asked the both of you if you enjoyed the party. The way you responded. The way you interacted with your sister. Seeing the two of you running up the steps giggling like sisters when we got home. You seemed so at ease. You seemed… I don’t know, somehow complete. I thought you might be thinking you wanted to be a girl. I even asked your father if he would be alright if you told us you wanted to be a girl.”

“You did? What did he say?”

“He said he would be fine if you wanted to be his son or his daughter. He did say he thought it was only a one-night thing.” Sheila smiled at the memory. “When I asked you if you wanted to dress as a girl again, you said it was too much work. I had a feeling you would be fine with the work.”

“I wasn’t wrong. It is quite a lot more work,” I said. “Amy thinks I should keep it as an option. Abbey said she wishes I had always been her sister.”

“Honey, what do you want?”

I lowered my head. I saw my legs in their pantyhose with a pair of heels at the end.
“I’m not sure what I want. I was hoping you could tell me what I should do.”
Mom smiled.

“Casey, I can’t tell you what you should do. A decision like this has to be something you want. Not something Abbey wants or Amy thinks you should do. It’s not something you do for Kevin either. You do it for you. If you decide you want to continue to be my daughter, I’m fine with that decision. Son or daughter, you are my child. I’ve enjoyed getting to know my new daughter over the past few months. I will enjoy watching my child’s future adventures in the coming years. Come here.” I went over and we hugged then she held me at arm’s length.

“Promise me, whatever you decide to do, it will be because it is what you want to do and it’s what you want.”

“I promise, mom.”

I left feeling better but still undecided on what to do about Kevin.

~~0~~

I got to work Monday morning to find Hannah already at the desk. She smiled at me as I entered.

“How did the date go on Friday?” She saw the troubled look on my face. “Uh oh, not as good as expected?”

“Oh no, it was great,” I said. Hannah was skeptical. “No really. We talked until eight and then went to dinner. We had a great time.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I’ve got some things on my mind. It’s complicated.”

“Hey, I’m here if you want to talk about it,” she said.

“Thanks.” I started to get things ready for the day. “How’s the painting going?”

“Oh, I finished the one I was working on when you were over the other night. You’ll have to come over to see it.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” I said.

I needed to find something to take my mind off of Kevin. I had been planning on doing something and had been putting it off. Now seemed like the time to get it started. It was going to take some time to get it going. It would require all my attention, that is, until Kevin calls again.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 17

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Chapter 17

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A week later, Hannah called out of work. Kaylee was helping out at the front desk. She was slightly taller than I was and a bit overweight. Her blond hair was cut into a short style that suited her face perfectly. She had a reputation for being a bit aggressive and bossy. I found she spoke her mind and told people what she thought. You knew where you stood with her. That’s another thing I noticed. When a woman speaks her mind she is labeled bossy or aggressive. I found I liked Kaylee.

Kaylee was now working in the IT department. She had started out at the desk same as me. Going to school at night, she studied computers. She got into the IT department after graduation. I had replaced her.

We had a break at the desk. “What do you do in the IT department?”

“I’m a data analyst. I’m working my way up to network analyst,” she said.

“I know how to use a computer but the technical stuff is over my head.”

“It’s like anything else,” she said, “you need to go to school, learn it and practice it. How about you, what did you study in school?”

“I studied journalism. I want to be a writer,” I said. “You know, the great American novel and all that. Still gotta pay the bills till I get there.”

She laughed. “I know what you mean.”

“I heard you got sent home the other day.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.

“It’s not fair you know. We should be able to wear any dressy shoes we want.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Have you thought about doing something about it?”

“Look, drop it. I need this job. What do you think would happen if I tried to fight it. I’d get fired for some stupid reason.”

“Maybe I’ll do something about it.”

“Then you’ll get fired. Casey, don’t say anything but I’m looking for another job. Once I find it, I’m out of here. I like my job but not this sexist atmosphere around here.”

“What do you mean?”

“In meetings, have you ever noticed a woman always takes the minutes? A woman is always asked to get coffee. A woman is always asked to set up a meeting, arrange parties, pick out gifts for clients. Anyone can do that. It’s always the women who are asked, no, not asked, assigned those tasks. The mentality around here is women are better at those tasks than men. I’m not saying it’s much better anywhere else, but it’s getting to me. You seem like a nice girl, take some advice. Don’t stay here too long. Keep looking for something else.” The phone rang and she picked it up ending our conversation.

At lunch, I left the building and got on my phone to make some additional phone calls. I don’t know why but I couldn’t let this go.

~~0~~

Hannah was back the next day. “Hannah, are you free right after work?”

“Sure, what's up?”

“I want to see the exhibit space you found.”

“Why? It will make me realize I can’t afford it yet. I’ve been in a good mood all day.”

“Come on. You said there were restaurants there. We can have dinner.”

After work, we got into a cab and headed over to Rittenhouse Square. We got out at a street-level store with a large front window and glass front door. There was great visibility inside the space. You could see paintings on the walls from the window.

“This is the place. Some day it will be my paintings in there.” She turned around and pointed down the street. “There’s a nice place to eat. I’ve been there before. You’ll like it.”

We were seated and ordered. “So what do you think?”

“It’s perfect. You picked a great spot.”

“Why did you want to see it?”

“Remember when I asked you if you ever thought about having an exhibit? I think you should do it. You should set it in motion.”

“I’d love to exhibit my work. I can’t afford to do that right now,” she said.

“Well… how about if I bankroll your exhibit.” There was a look of surprise on her face.

“What? I can’t let you do that.”

“I’m not doing it for free. I get 5% of every painting you sell.” She looked at me in disbelief. “Have you spoken to the owner?” I said.

“Yes, I got some prices. His name is Shawn. That would be wonderful. Are you sure?”

“After we eat, let’s go talk with Shawn.”

After dinner, we went to the building. Almost as soon as we entered, a man came out from the back.

“The exhibit doesn’t start for another hour, ladies,” he said.

“Are you Shawn? I’m Casey.” I shook his hand.

Hannah stepped forward and shook his hand. “I’m Hannah. We’ve met before.”

“Oh yes, you wanted to know about exhibiting some of your artwork.”

“That’s what we’d like to talk to you about.”

“Great. Let me tell you about the space. As you can see this is a perfect white box retail space. The location is amazing. It’s due to foot traffic generated by the nearby boutiques and restaurants. It’s ideal for emerging artists, like yourself,” he said nodding at Hannah. “We’ve been showing local, emerging and established artists since the early 2000s. As you can see, there is easy visibility due to the large window and glass door. We have a 22-foot wall with a professional art hanging system and track lighting.” Shawn continued his spiel as an overwhelmed Hannah listened.

“Sounds perfect to me. How about it?” I asked Hannah.

“It’s wonderful. But Casey, I can’t let…”

“Yes you can, all you need to do is pick a date.”

We went back to Shawn’s office and viewed his calendar. With a date picked, he processed my card for the deposit. We thanked him and left.

Outside, Hannah couldn’t contain her excitement. “Oh my God! I can’t believe it. I’m going to exhibit my paintings. How can I thank you?”

“I’m getting 5% of sales, remember. Now, I’m going to take care of advertising your exhibit so people will know about it. I am going to interview you and have the interview published in the local papers before the exhibit.”

“I’ve never been interviewed before,” she said. “What am I going to say?”

“All you need to do is answer my questions. Don’t think of it as an interview. You’ll be talking to me,” I said. “We’ll go over it before it’s published. All you need to do is get your business cards ready and pick out your paintings.”

“Business cards? I don’t have business…,” she said.

“We’ll get some for you.”

~~0~~

Hannah and I got together during the week to discuss our venture. I interviewed her and wrote an article about her stressing her art and her upcoming exhibit. The magazine would use its influence to get it published in the papers and on-line. It would be my first official byline even if it was as Casey Jean Cummings. We had posters printed for the exhibit. We got permission to put them in the windows of shops and restaurants around the exhibition space. We used Hannah’s sketch of the Twilight scene with me in it on the posters.

~~0~~

I was using this time to keep my mind off of Kevin. I was having trouble with my emotions. I wanted him to call and yet I was dreading his call. I was still undecided as to whether I was going to tell him I was a guy. I knew I should. I was thinking I would tell him I was in transition. As Abbey had said, maybe he would take it better if he thought I was intending to become a woman. I could also hold off telling him and let him believe I was a woman.

It wasn’t long before I received that dreaded phone call.

“Casey, I was hoping we could go to dinner tomorrow. It would be a real date. I’m working early the next day so it won’t be a late night.”

Every fiber of me wanted to go to dinner with him. I didn’t know if I should without telling him first. I knew I should tell him I’m a guy but I didn’t want to tell him. Screw it. I want to go out with him. I’ll tell him later.

“Dinner sounds great.”

~~0~~

I was trying to decide what to wear for my dinner date with Kevin. I was way too nervous. We were going to a casual restaurant. I didn’t need to get very dressed up. Still, I wanted to look good. I was doing it again. I was succumbing to society’s pressure. I decided on black pants with a pink sleeveless top with a burgundy blazer and black 3-inch pumps. I was alerted Kevin was here while I was putting on my earrings. I checked myself in the mirror as he knocked on the door.

“Hi, Casey,” he said as he walked in. “You look great.” He kissed me on the cheek. “Nice place.”

“Thanks, I like it. How are we on time?”

“If we leave now, we should make it in plenty of time. It’s not far.”

After another quick check in the mirror, I grabbed my cross-body bag and we left.

We took the short walk to a tavern where the servers were dressed in colonial outfits. We got a table and after looking at the menu, we ordered dinner.

“Have you been here before?” Kevin asked.

“No,” I said. “I haven’t been here. It seems nice. The costumes are a bit much.”

“You don’t like their uniforms?” he said.

“When I was a waitress, I wore a uniform, not a costume.”

“I kind of like it. I feel like I’m stepping back in time. I expect Ben Franklin to walk in that door and up to the bar,” he said. I laughed. “Hey, it could happen. There might be a Franklin impersonator just around the corner.”

We talked and told each other a little about ourselves. I found out he was an only child. His father raised him after his mother passed away. His mother’s death gave him the impetus to become a paramedic. Much like how our father’s death influenced Abbey. I exchanged my pertinent information leaving out that I was a guy.

“So what’s this project you mentioned,” he asked as we walked back to my apartment.

“I’m helping a co-worker exhibit her paintings.”

“Really? Is she good?”

“I think she is. She did a sketch of me while we were watching a movie. It blew me away.”

“Where is it taking place?”

“Near Rittenhouse Square,” I said. “We have the space rented and we’ll have two days to mount the paintings before the show. It’s going to be a bit of work to get everything done.”

“Let me know when you’re setting up. I can be there if you need help. I might be able to bring some additional muscle.”

I started to say no, we could handle it but I wanted him to be there.

“That would be great if you could help out. I’ll text you the date and the address.”

After dinner, we walked around and eventually headed back to my building and sat on a bench outside.

“Casey, I have to let you know something.”

“Okay,” I said. I thought it should be me telling him something.

“I take quite a ribbing from the guys but I’m an old-fashioned guy. I don’t believe in sex before marriage. Well before I’m committed to someone at least. I wanted to let you know before we get deeper into our relationship.”

“Thanks for letting me know.” That’s not a problem for me. I can delay telling him a little longer. I paused for a second and bit my lower lip. My eyes met his. My insides melted. “Are you saying you’d like to go out with me again?”

“I was thinking about it, if you want to, that is.”

Part of me was screaming yes. All of me was saying you have to tell him.

“I might.” I smiled. “Call me. I’ll see how I feel.”

“Great. Wow, look at the time. I enjoyed being with you tonight. I’d better go. I’m up early tomorrow. I’ll call.”

“I had a nice time too,” I said.

He leaned in and we kissed a long tender, wonderful kiss.

We got up and he waited until I got into the lobby. He waved before turning to leave. I waved back. Henry at the security desk said, “Did you have a nice evening Miss Cummings?”

“Henry, I’ve told you to call me Casey and yes, it was a wonderful night.” I smiled and twirled as I walked past the desk. I saw Henry smile.

“Good night Miss Cummings.”

I think he calls me Miss Cummings on purpose. “You too, Henry,” I said as the elevator doors closed.

~~0~~

Time passed quickly. Kevin called and we went out a couple of times. The nights before the exhibit were planned for mounting the pictures. Kevin came to help out bringing Bart, his paramedic partner. The four of us worked together to mount the pictures. Hannah agonized over pricing her paintings.

The night of the exhibit arrived. Hannah had a stack of her new business cards on the table by the door in the exhibit hall. We provided water for people if they wanted it. I was happy Kevin and Bart had decided to come. Hannah and I stayed by the door greeting visitors as they arrived.

The exhibit was a success. At the end of the night, Kevin and Bart helped us put the remaining paintings in our car. We took home fewer paintings than we brought. More important, Hannah’s name was out there as an artist. I thought I noticed an attraction growing between Hannah and Bart. At Hannah’s apartment, The four of us finished returning the paintings to their room. The guys left and Hannah and I collapsed on her couch after the long day. We both had work tomorrow. I soon got ready to leave.

“Casey, I don’t know how to thank you. I felt like a real artist tonight.”

“You are a real artist. Just keep painting,” I said.

“The guys were a big help. Kevin seems nice. I like Bart. I’m hoping he calls.”

“You gave him your number?”

“He asked, so I did,” she said.

“I’m glad. We have work tomorrow. I’m gonna get going. See you in the morning.” We hugged.

On the cab ride home, I began to think. I had been spending a lot of time with Hannah over the past month. I had been in her home and her room. Not once did I have any kind of romantic attraction to her. She is very attractive. For the past couple of weeks, all I could think about was Kevin. Is my presenting as a woman diminishing my being attracted to women? Maybe Hannah is not my type.

~~0~~

I was waiting for Hannah to come back from lunch. For some reason, I was unusually hungry. I noticed she seemed excited.”

“You’ll never guess what just happened.”

“Tell me already.”

“I got a call from a magazine! They saw the exhibit last night and they want to do a feature story about me for their art section. You know the type: ‘local artist makes good’.” She struck a pose and flipped her hair.

“Oh my God! That’s amazing! Congrats.”

“Thanks. I’m really excited. Did you hear the other news?”

“There’s more?”

“Kaylee got a call from a headhunter a few weeks back. She’s been on some interviews and got a job. She still doing IT but better pay. She gave her two weeks' notice.”

“Good for her. After the shoe thing I know she was not happy.”

“Speaking of that, there’s a rumor going around that HR was contacted by a newspaper. Somehow they heard about the company requiring women to wear 3-inch heels. They were going to do a not too flattering story about it.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Sophie in public relations. They suspect Kaylee had something to do with it but she denies talking to the paper. Hannah looked at me. “It wasn’t you was it?”

“Me? Hell no. I’ve not spoken to the papers other than to pay to get the ad with the article about you published.” It was the truth. I talked to my magazine. “It could have been any of us.”

“I heard PR is suggesting the policy be changed to avoid bad press. The owner is being resistant. If they do change the policy it would be a godsend. Not that I wouldn’t wear them at times. But standing in heels all day is a killer. At least it would be my choice. Men do not know what we women go through.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 18

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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chapter 18

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~~0~~

One Sunday morning, Abbey called asking if she could come over. She said she needed to tell me something. And it had to be in person. I couldn’t imagine what it was. I let building security know she was coming and to send her up. I was straightening up around my apartment while waiting for her. I laughed to myself. Since starting my assignment, I had kept the apartment neat and clean. Everything was put away. The trash was in the trash cans. Counters and tabletops were clean and wiped down. It was quite a difference from my old apartment. I thought I had subconsciously succumbed to another of society's roles for women. I had decided to keep this apartment cleaner than my old one when I first moved in. Was I doing this because it was expected of a woman? No matter how I’m dressed or what training I’ve had, I am still a man. I looked around my apartment. I liked what I saw. I decided to continue to keep things this way when my assignment was over. The knocking on the door startled me as I had spaced out a bit. I opened the door to a very happy Abbey.

“Casey!” She gave me the biggest hug ever almost knocking me down. Something had gotten her very excited. When she released me she held up her left hand. On her finger was a gorgeous diamond ring. “Gil asked me to marry him! I’m engaged!” We hugged again.

“Abbey, that’s wonderful! Let me see.” She showed me the ring. She could barely contain her excitement. “That is so beautiful. Does mom know?”

“Not yet. I didn’t want to wake her. Can you believe it? I’m getting married!” We hugged again.

“How did he propose?”

“We spent the day together yesterday. We went to Longwood Gardens. We walked around the grounds, visited the greenhouse and went to the fountain just as it was getting dark. The fountain was beautiful with the waters dancing to the lights. As I turned to him, I saw him get down on his knee. He was holding an open box with the ring. I asked him what he was doing. He then asked me to marry him. As soon as I said yes, the fountain lit up with water cascading everywhere. He got up, put the ring on my finger and we kissed. People around us started clapping and congratulating us. I’m still in shock.” She looked at the ring on her finger. “I don’t ever want to take it off.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but isn’t it a bit soon?”

“Maybe a bit but it feels so right. Anyway, it’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow. It will be close to a year before the wedding,” she said.

“I’m happy for you Abbey.” We hugged again. “He’s a great guy.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you and Dave.” Her excitement wavered a bit.

“That’s fine, I’m a guy, remember.”

She paused as her excitement returned. “I’m getting married!” We hugged again.

“You have to call mom,” I said. “We’ll all go out to celebrate.”

“I will. I want to talk with you about something first.” She turned serious for a moment. “I gave this some thought and you can say no. I want you in my wedding party.”

“Of course I’ll be in your wedding. You couldn’t keep me away.”

“You don’t understand. I want you in my wedding as my sister. I want you to be one of my bridesmaids.”

“Your wedding is going to be after my assignment. I’m planning on getting rid of these,” I motioned to my breasts, “as soon as it’s over.”

“I know. Casey, I had my sister with me when I met Gil. It’s only right my sister be there when we get married.”

“Abbey, your friends know you have a brother,” I said. “I can’t show up as your sister.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Most of them thought you were a tom-boy.”

“How about Mom’s friends. Suddenly she has two daughters?”

“Probably the same for them. Will you please consider it?”

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

I called our favorite restaurant and made reservations. Abbey called Mom and told her we were coming over and to dress for dinner. We went to get our nails done and then back to my apartment to get ready for our visit with mom. Abbey found a pale pink dress she had been dying to wear ever since she saw it in my closet. I wore a blue fit and flare dress with lace trim. Soon we were in the car heading to see mom.

I was only half-listening to Abbey as she drove. While I was happy for her, I was surprised by her request for me to be one of her bridesmaids. My biggest surprise was my reaction to her request. I had not said no. I had said I was planning on removing my implants. Unknown to Abbey, my first reaction was to say yes, I’ll be one of your bridesmaids. That is ridiculous. I’m her brother. Maybe this assignment is affecting my thinking. There’s my non-attraction to Hannah. Hannah is attractive, smart and talented. She is certainly a catch for any lucky guy. Yet I don’t feel any romantic attraction toward her. She is a friend. Maybe a best friend. Then there is my attraction to Kevin. I have never felt this way about another guy. Matt was just a fling. Dave was nice. I was not extremely upset when we broke up. Breaking up with Kevin will really hurt. Which is why I have not told him I’m a guy. It’s making my telling him that much harder. On top of those concerns, I think I might be enjoying being a woman. I like getting my nails done. I like getting my hair done. I enjoyed making myself look good for work and dates. I even like high heels, though I complain about them. This is crazy. I’m writing an article about society’s pressures on women, on what society expects of women, having to be attractive, having to be submissive, having to be perfect and I’m saying I’m enjoying being a woman. Now that I’ve experienced being a woman, maybe I’m finding I don’t enjoy being a man. I need to talk with someone. I don’t want to talk to Abbey about this. Could I talk to Amy or Jo? I could always talk to mom. I was told I could speak to the psychologist from the magazine any time I felt I needed to. That is the way to go. Maybe I’ll set something up next week. First, we have to tell mom about Abbeys engagement and celebrate.

~~0~~

Mom acted as any mother would who is told her daughter is getting married. After the hugging was over, Abbey let mom examine the ring. With all the attention mom was giving Abbey, I was feeling like a third wheel. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way. This was Abbey’s moment.

“I know it’s too soon to have picked a date but do you have a season in mind?” Mom asked.

“We did talk about it and decided early next Fall would be nice. Maybe late September.”

“That gives us plenty of time to find a venue and for you to pick out a wedding dress. Casey, you’re involved in this also. You’re going to help your sister as her sister until your assignment is over. Then you’re going to continue to help as her brother.”

I looked at Abbey and gave her a pleading look. I didn’t want her to say anything.

“I already asked Casey to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.” Mom stopped and looked surprised.

“You did? And what did he say?”

“I said I’d think about it. The wedding will be well after my assignment finishes. My implants will be removed. I’ll look terrible in a bridesmaid dress. Plus what would people think?”

“Your brother has a point,” mom said. “What were you thinking.”

“I was thinking I want my sister at my wedding. Okay, it’s foolish. I’m sorry I asked.”

“I understand your reasoning, Abbey. If Casey wants to do it, that’s fine. Casey, you said you would think about being in your sister's wedding. When do you think you’ll decide?”

“I’m not sure.”

“If you’re going to be a bridesmaid, you need to understand it’s more than just showing up on the wedding day. You’ll have to be there to help when we pick out the dresses and at the fittings. Then there is helping with the bachelorette party and the rehearsal dinner. You’ll need to help with whatever needs to be done the day after the wedding. You need to keep all that in mind. Abbey and I need you to make your decision before we go looking for Abbey’s wedding dress and the bridesmaid's dresses. Do you understand?”

“Yes, mom,” I said.

“Good. Abbey how many bridesmaids do you intend to have? Assuming Casey says he’ll be one of them.”

The two of them talked about wedding preparations as I listened.

Mom was right. I had thought I would just be showing up for the wedding. If I did this, I would be presenting as a woman, at times, until the end of next September. This was going to require more thought than I was willing to give to it at the moment.

~~0~~

We were seated at dinner waiting for our food to arrive. Mom looked up when she heard her name. Looking over I saw Mrs. Henderson waving to her.

“Oh look, it’s Mr. and Mrs. Henderson,” Mom said.

“Oh no, Mom, they can’t see me.” I started to get up.

“Hush, stay right where you are.”

The hostess started to show them their table and brought them past us.

“Sheila, so good to see you,” Mrs. Henderson said.

“Good to see you, Sue. You to Rick.

“Are these are your children?”

“Yes, you remember Abbey and Casey.”
,
Mrs. Henderson took seeing me in a dress right in stride. Mr. Henderson had a confused look on his face.

“My you two are all grown up. I remember when Casey used to cut our lawn. It’s nice to see the three of you together for a nice dinner.”

“We’re here celebrating Abbey’s engagement,” Mom said.

“How wonderful,” Mrs. Henderson said. “You must show me the ring.”

Abbey got up to show Mrs. Henderson the ring.

“It’s lovely dear. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Abbey said.

“The hostess is waiting for us. Good seeing you all and congratulations again Abbey.”

She took her husband's arm and began walking past me. As they did I heard her say to her husband, ‘I told you she was a girl. You wouldn’t listen to me.’

It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. Abbey turned to me.

“I told you. Almost everyone thought you were a tomboy.”

“Casey, if you want to be in the wedding, you have nothing to worry about with family.” Mom straightened her napkin on her lap. She looked me squarely in the eyes. “Let’s settle this now.”

“You want an answer now?”

“This is as good a time as any. While I’m surprised your sister has asked such a thing of you,” She glanced at Abbey. “The one thing I haven’t heard is you saying no. You’ve given excuses but have not refused. I think you would like to be a bridesmaid for your sister. If you do, say so and let’s be done with this nonsense.”

How does she always know what I’m thinking?

“Alright. Yes, Abbey. I’ll be one of your bridesmaids.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you.” She got up to try to hug me and almost tipped the table over.

“Thank your sister at home. I’d like to keep the table upright and the drinks out of our laps,” she said. Our waiter was coming to our table. “Here’s our food.”

~~0~~

“Thanks for agreeing to be in the wedding,” Abbey said. We had been on the way back to Philly for no more than five minutes.

“I still have to figure out how I’m going to do it though. I’m planning on going back to being me after the assignment is over.”

“Who says this isn’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I think you’re enjoying being a woman.”

“It has its moments.”

“Well, I like having my sister around. I’m glad she’s going to be in my wedding.”

In some way, I think Abbey was right. I did enjoy one thing about being a woman. People didn’t stare at me with a confused look. I present as a woman. People see a woman. I only have to explain I’m a man on rare occasions. I’m still putting it off with Kevin.

Abbey being engaged to Gil brought Dave to mind. I liked him. Not in the way Abbey likes his brother. Of course, after our talk, we knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I never dreamed about marriage the way Abbey did when we were young. Right now, my marriage is the furthest thing from my mind.

~~0~~

I did make an appointment with the magazine psychologist. I felt slightly better after the visit. I told him about Hannah and that I thought I should feel some romantic attraction to her. He asked if I was romantically attracted to every pretty, smart girl I see. He also asked if I was romantically attracted to all the good-looking guys at work. I said no to both questions. He asked if, being Bi, I would be attracted to Kevin if I was still presenting as a man. My first reaction was to say Kevin probably wouldn’t be attracted to me if I was presenting as a man. The psychologist pointed out I was avoiding answering his question. I had to admit I would be attracted to Kevin.

At the end of our session, we both agreed the assignment was not affecting my attraction to women. One thing we didn’t talk about was why I’m not telling Kevin I’m a guy.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Byline chapter 19

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

chapter 19

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September moved into October just as it always does. Hannah and I were still manning the reception desk. She had been interviewed by the magazine. They had done a nice article on her. Pictures had been taken of the room in her apartment where her visions came to life. She told them how art had always been her passion. We couldn’t wait for the magazine to be published next month. I had many people at the magazine to thank.

The small success of the exhibit and the interview encouraged her to devote more time to her art. She still found time to invite me over for the occasional movie night every couple of weeks. Kevin and I had been taking it slow in our relationship. We were seeing each other about once every other week. Texting and phone calls were almost daily. Hannah and Bart, on the other hand, had entered into a somewhat serious relationship. She had found a way to include him into her art.

“I invited him over after our date,” she said. “He asked if he could see my newest painting. I was joking around saying I was about to start another one with him as the subject. I told him it would be a nude.”

“Oh my gosh, you didn’t. What did he say?”

“He didn’t say anything. He started taking off his clothes and asking me where he should stand. He draped one of my painting covers over himself and took the funniest pose. I couldn’t stop laughing. Then I looked at the light as it fell on him. I went over and positioned him, adjusting his pose. I got out my sketchbook and spent the next hour sketching him. I showed it to him when I was done. After he saw it, he kissed me. It wasn’t long before I was naked with him.”

“Hannah, Oh my gosh. Too much information!”

She laughed. “I’ve never done anything like that before. When he’s around I get as spontaneous as he is. I start to notice things like the lighting and composition more than when he is not around. Right now, he’s my muse.”

“I’m happy for you, Hannah. “

“Thanks. I’m happy for you too. Bart tells me you and Kevin are still going out.”

“Yes, we’re taking it slower than you two seem to be.”

“Are things alright? You seem to be, I don’t know, a bit hesitant.”

“Things are good. He’s told me he’s old-fashioned. He’s not into any premarital stuff. I’m fine with it. It’s a bit complicated.”

“It’s none of my business, but if it’s not going as fast as you want it to, you can give things a push you know.”

“I’m not sure I want to. I want things to fall into place in their own time. I’m working it out.”

The phone rang ending our conversation.

What I didn’t tell Hannah is I was having a problem trying to decide when I was going to tell Kevin I was a guy. I didn’t think it was fair to continue to go out with him thinking I was a woman. But, I feel if I tell him, our relationship will be over. Right now, I don’t want that to happen.

I also didn’t want to tell her I was thinking about breaking up with him. If I break up with him, I wouldn’t have to tell him I’m not a woman. The relationship would be over but it would be my choice, not his.

Why is this so hard? I should tell him before this goes on any longer. The results would be the same as us breaking up. If by some miracle, he was fine with me being a guy or a guy in transition, there would be no problem. Breaking up with him meant no chance of continuing a relationship. Telling him gave me a chance.

This would be so simple if I were a woman. If I had been born female, I’d be fully engaged in a relationship with Kevin. I might even be trying to get him to break his nonmarital sex declaration. I might be making it a challenge. The thought stopped me. This was another time I have felt like I wanted to be a woman. Am I seriously thinking of being a woman? Going out with Kevin is making me feel this way. I have to break up with him. I’m a guy. I reached down and got my purse from the locked drawer.

“I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

I turned and left before hearing anything Hannah said. I got lucky. No one was there as I entered. I sat down and cried.

~~0~~

I got home from work thinking it was going to be a lonely Friday night. Kevin had called and let me know he was working. I was no closer to deciding what to do about my relationship with Kevin. I needed to talk with someone. I didn’t want to bother Abbey. She had her hands full with the engagement celebrations and wedding planning. I didn’t need to burden her with my problems. I started making calls. The only person I could reach was Jo.

“Hi, Casey. What’s up?” she said.

“I have a lot of things on my mind. I need to talk to someone. Any chance you’re free? I could use a sympathetic ear.”

Jo gave me the address of a bar on 13th and Walnut Street saying she would meet me outside. I changed into a pair of navy leggings and a white 3/4 sleeved v-neck top. I decided to wear the 3-inch pumps I wore to work. I wouldn’t be walking there. I added a pair of gold intertwining dangle earrings and a braided gold chain to complete my look. I finished my makeup and left to get a cab.

Jo was outside the bar as the cab pulled up. She looked nice dressed in khakis slacks and a gray sleeveless pullover top. We hugged after I got out of the cab and went inside the bar. We found a table and ordered drinks. I wasn’t driving and I didn’t care if I got a little drunk.

“How’s the article going?” Jo asked.

“I guess they're going good. I’ve submitted my articles. I’m not getting much feedback on them. I feel I’m understanding how society has different expectations for men and women,” I said.

“Maybe the article will open some eyes,” Jo said. “You’re only experiencing part of being a woman. Women get things drummed into us from the day we’re born. Look pretty, do what you’re told, don’t take the lead. I’ve never told anyone this but I wanted to be like my brothers growing up. My parents didn’t believe in letting my brothers get their ears pierced. My ears were pierced when I was too young to remember. As soon as I could, I stopped wearing earrings. I remembered being pressured by my friends into wearing them again. I didn’t want to. At the time, I wanted to be accepted by the crowd. Now I don’t care. If I wear them or not, it’s my choice. Same with wearing dresses and skirts.”

“You do dress feminine even though I’ve never seen you in a dress.”

“I do occasionally wear one for my mother. It makes her happy. Even though I’m a lesbian, I’m a woman. I might not always wear a skirt but I will dress as a woman. I don’t want to be a guy. I want to go out with women. Here’s our food.”

After we ate our food, I had more to drink. Jo got me out on the dance floor. We were laughing by the time we returned to the table. I ordered another drink.

“Slow down Casey.”

“Why? I’m not drunk yet. Just a bit tipsy.”

“I’m glad you’re not driving home.”

I took a sip of my drink.

“What has you so worked that you need to get yourself drunk?” Jo said.

I told her about my dilemma with telling Kevin.

“What are you doing worrying about that? Break up with him. He’ll be hurt because you broke up with him. You’ll be hurt because you don’t want to break up with him. This way you won’t be rejected. It’ll hurt you more if you tell him and he rejects you.”

What Jo said seemed to make sense. “Why does everyone make it seem so simple,” I said.

“Because it is simple. It’s getting late. Finish your drink and let’s get out of here.”

We paid the bill and I got up to leave. I must have had more to drink than I thought. I stumbled. I tried walking but couldn’t seem to manage it with these heels. Jo somehow kept me from falling. I sat down and took my heels off. I got up and walked to the door with Jo’s help. The last thing I remember was Jo getting a cab and getting in.

~~0~~

I woke up Saturday morning to sunlight hurting my eyes. I quickly sat up and immediately wished I hadn’t. My head was pounding. I dropped my head back to the pillow. The pain made me realize that was another mistake. I laid there with my eyes closed. When the pain subsided a bit, I sat up, slowly this time, and looked around. I didn’t recognize my surroundings. I wasn’t in my own bed. I wasn’t in my room. In my visual sweep around the room, I found a clock. I realized I was late to get to my yoga class with Abbey. I slowly sat up and swung my legs over the bed. I noticed I was still dressed in the clothes I had worn last night. I started to stand just as Jo walked in.

“Sit back down,” she said. “You should never drink. You can’t handle it. Here drink this.”

She handed me a coffee mug. It tasted like a very strong brew. I sipped the hot liquid.

“What happened? I barely remember getting into the cab.”

“You passed out. I took you to my place. Do you think you can eat something?”

“I think so. Maybe a little cereal?”

“Think you can make it to the kitchen?”

I got up and followed Jo to her kitchen and sat down. I held my head as Jo got a bowl and a box of cereal and put it in front of me.

“Thanks,” I said. As I poured a little of the cereal into the bowl, Jo put the milk on the table.

“Go slow eating or else you’ll be cleaning my apartment.”

I started eating when I remembered my yoga class. “I have to call Abbey.” I started looking around for my phone.

“Relax. I spoke with her when your phone rang. I told her what happened and that you are at my place.”

“Thanks for letting her know. Although, I’m going to get a lecture from her now.” I put my hand on my aching head.

Jo laughed. “She didn’t sound too pleased. I want to be there when she talks to you”

“Not a chance,” I said. I ate what I could and pushed the bowl aside. I went to get up to clean the bowl.

“You sit. I’ve got this.”

Jo took everything to the sink. “Do you want a refill on the coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Jo brought me back a filled cup. I took another sip. “Thanks for taking care of me last night.”

“We’re friends. We’re going to be friends even if you continue presenting as a woman.”

“You don’t like me presenting as a woman?”

“Look at you. You’re dressed like a woman. You’re even prettier than me. And you’re a guy. When you told us about taking this assignment of yours, I didn’t say it but I thought you were absolutely crazy.”

“I’m doing this for the article.”

“Maybe, but I think deep down you like it.”

“You’re out of your mind. As soon as I can, I’m back to being C J.”

You keep saying that. You talked about not wanting to tell Kevin you’re a guy. You said you want to keep the relationship. I can understand that. You seem to want to do that as a girl instead of as a guy.”

“What do you want me to do?” I said more forcefully than I intended.

“Tell this Kevin of yours you’re a guy or break it off.”

I sat there staring into my coffee. “I don’t want to,” I finally said.

“See, you like this. Casey, I think you’re trans.”

“I’m not trans, I’m Bi.”

“Either way, tell him. If you tell him you’re a guy, chances are he’s going to be upset. He’ll feel betrayed and all that other crap you’ve talked about. That’ll be it for the relationship. Poof, up in smoke. You’ll feel bad and he’ll be angry.”

“But what if he has no problem with it?

“Sure, there may be a small chance it won’t bother him. Let’s say you do nothing. Have you thought about what happens when your assignment is over? The woman he knows as Casey will not exist anymore. She will have disappeared from his life. As I see it, either way you both get hurt. I don’t see a winning way out.”

“I know, I know. Why couldn’t I be straight? If I was straight, I wouldn’t be attracted to him. I wouldn’t be dating him. I would have said no at the beginning. I probably would have told him about the assignment at the start.”

“If you were straight, you probably wouldn’t have taken the assignment.”

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 20

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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chapter 20

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“Hi Kevin,” I said as I answered the phone. I had gotten home about an hour ago and was looking in the fridge for something to cook for dinner.

“Hi, Casey. I’ve been invited to a Halloween party on Friday.’

“Friday’s the first, right?”

“Yeah. It’s a bunch of friends from work. It’s at the veteran’s hall.”

“I haven’t been to a Halloween party since I was a teenager.”

“Ah, so like last year.” I could hear him snicker.

“So funny wise guy,” I said.

“It’s been a while for me also. What do you think? Would you like to go?”

Of course, I would like to go. I still haven’t told him. It’s not fair to him. It’s only this one night.

“Sure, I’ll be able to go. Any ideas for costumes? No telling me you’re going as a paramedic.”

“Damn, there goes my costume idea.” He laughed. “I’m pretty bad at picking costumes. What was your costume?”

“At my last party? My sister and her friends decided to go as the Sailor Scouts. They convinced me to be Sailor Mars. We all had the same type of costume just different colors and accessories.”

“I would have loved to see you in that costume. Any pictures?”

“None you’re going to see,” I teased.

”Wasn’t there a guy called Tuxedo something or other in that show? I could be him. Too bad you don’t fit into the costume anymore.”

“Hey!” I actually took a little offense to his joke. “I’ll have you know it would fit if I still had it. I’d look better in it now.” It wasn’t a lie. I have boobs now. “And it was Tuxedo Mask. If we are going for couples costumes how about Cinderella and the prince? Every girl wants to go to the ball with her prince charming.”

“How about a plug and a light socket.”

“Really? Is that the best you can do? I’m not sure I want to go anymore,” I said. He laughed.

“Okay. No more jokes. I’ll be serious. How about we go as two Roman citizens? We can both wear togas.”

“Not bad. You do have the legs for it?” I giggled at the thought.

“You noticed. I’m running out of ideas.”

“I know. I can be a Spanish senorita and you can be Zorro.”

“That would work. How about we go see if we can get the costumes tonight?”

“I was about to cook dinner.”

“We can get dinner at the mall. My treat. Then we can find our costumes.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you there.”

We agreed on a place to meet. I changed into a pair of denim leggings and a light green top. I checked my hair and fixed my makeup. I found my flats, got my bag and went to meet Kevin.

~~0~~

Dinner was nothing special. We ate at an Asian place inside the mall. It was one of those chain establishments. It was good. Not nearly as good as what you could get a couple of blocks away in Chinatown. I wasn’t there for the food. I was there to be with Kevin. This is the most irrational thing I have done. I’m a guy and yet I want to be with him.

After dinner, we went to the costume store. We looked around. We both played with some of the costume props. Kevin found a sword to go with his costume. It didn’t take us long to find the costumes. As I tried on the dress, I found myself fantasying about Kevin proposing to me. This is ridiculous. I know my feeling this way is due to Abbey getting engaged.

Abbey and I had talked about her wedding yesterday. She was telling me the venue they wanted was booked. They still wanted the late September wedding. They were going to push the wedding back to next September.

“Gil and I are fine with the new date. We want to be married where he proposed to me,” she had said.

But Kevin proposing to me had no basis in fact. It was all a fantasy in my head. Seeing myself in the lacy costume dress and picturing him as the masked Zorro was messing with my head.

I stepped out of the changing room and after getting the expected approval, I changed back. Kevin tried on his costume. He looked every bit as dashing as I anticipated. With our outfits selected, we paid and headed out.

“I’m glad we were able to get that done. We’re going to make a great couple. I’m glad I thought of it,” he said.

“The costumes were my idea,” I reminded him.

“Oh yeah, right. But I was your inspiration for it.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

He laughed. “Let me walk you home. We both have work tomorrow. Seeing you in that costume has me worked up. You looked amazing. I’m gonna need a cold shower when I get home.”

Without thinking, I reached up putting my arms around his neck. I got up on my toes and kissed him. He recovered from being startled and returned the kiss. I stood there with my head on his chest. My fingers were playing with the buttons on his shirt with his arms around me. I looked up and he gave me another quick kiss.

“We better get going,” he said. I didn’t want to.

We headed for my apartment. It was a quiet walk. Neither one of us felt the need to talk much. I didn’t want the walk to end. I was going to make sure I looked good for him on Halloween.

~~0~~

“You’re going to a Halloween party with Kevin? I know where the Sailor Scouts costumes are at mom’s house. You can wear your Sailor Mars costume,” Abbey said.

“I can’t believe we still have them and you know where those costumes are. I can’t wear it again.”

She gave a laugh. “You’re beginning to sound like a real woman.”

“Well, would you wear the costume again?” I said.

“No. That’s what I mean. Have you told Kevin you’re a guy yet?”

“No. I’m waiting for the right time.”

“Casey, you have to stop procrastinating. The longer you let it go, the harder it’s going to be.”

“I know. Maybe I’ll keep going out with him until my assignment is over. Then Casey disappears and C J returns.”

“I think that’s going to hurt you more.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kevin’s not going to know what happened when Casey suddenly disappears but you will.
You’ll still be thinking of him. You need to tell him sis, and soon.”

“I hate it when you’re right. I’ll get around to telling him. After the Halloween party.”

~~0~~

Kevin and I made a terrific couple at the party. Kevin was all in black with a black cape, hat and mask. I was in my lacy dress with a lace mantilla and lace patterned tights and black heels. We had plenty of competition. Of course, there was the obligatory butler and French maid and a playboy and his bunny. Some other costumes were a prehistoric caveman couple, a gangster and his mole and beauty and the beast to mention a few. The woman dressed as beauty was absolutely gorgeous. The beast costume on the guy was incredibly realistic. I’m sure it was professionally done. Kevin introduced me to his friends as we walked around. I was surprised when I saw Hannah and Bart. She had not told me she was going to be here. They had come as a doctor and a sexy nurse.

“Hannah,” I squealed. We hugged, “I didn’t expect to see you here. You look great!”

“So do you! Bart asked me at the beginning of the month. He said he was trying to convince Kevin to go to the party but was having a hard time. Bart said Halloween’s not one of Kevin’s big holidays. He didn’t tell me he succeeded. I’m glad he did and asked you to go.”

“Couldn’t get Bart out of the medical theme I see. Kevin tried the same thing. I vetoed it.”

“That’s alright. He likes me in my costume.” She took a pose and brought her hands up to her head and down to her sides.

“He’d be a fool not to,” I said. We laughed together.

“When Kevin called, I thought we’d have trouble getting costumes. We were lucky we found these.”

“Well, you two look great.”

~~0~~

The night was still young. The food table opened and the guys went to get food for us. Hannah and I started talking.

“Bart tells me Kevin really likes you. He says he talks about you all the time.”

“Really? That’s nice to hear. We’re not going out like you and Bart are. I figured he was going out with other people.”

“No, Bart says he’s only going out with you.”

He’s only going out with me? That’s not good. He has to be going out with other women, other real women.

“He shouldn’t be doing that,” I said.

“Why? Is something wrong? I thought you liked him.”

“I do. It’s too early to be only going out with one person.”

“Are you going out with other people?”

“Not at the moment. I’m not limiting myself to one person though.” I didn’t have to give much thought to my answer.

“I don’t know him but he seems like a catch. Bart only works with him. They don’t hang out. Bart says he’s an okay guy.” Hannah leaned over and kind of whispered so only I could hear. “Bart thinks he might have something planned for the future. Christmas is coming soon you know. Here they come with the food. I’m starving.”

I couldn’t believe what I had heard. Kevin might have something planned? Oh my God, was she suggesting what I think. I decided not to think about it. Why do I have to like him so much? I tried to put that thought out of my mind and enjoy the rest of the night.

~~0~~

After the party, Kevin walked me up to my building's door. We sat on the bench outside my building.

“You really looked great tonight. I had a great time. I’m not one for parties. I’m not one for Halloween. Tonight, I had a good time.” he said.

“I enjoyed myself also,” I said. “Would you like to come up for a bit?”

“I’d like to but I shouldn’t. I’d be tempted to do things I want to do.”

“You can kiss me here, right?”

He leaned over and we kissed. My arms went around his neck. With our lips still locked, my hand found its way to his crotch. I could feel his hard manhood. I brought my hand up to his chest rubbing in circular strokes. His hand found my breast through the thin fabric of my costume. Our breathing grew heavy. Suddenly he stopped. We both composed ourselves. I straightened the mantilla on my head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I said.

“I better be going. I’ll call you next week.” He kissed me on my cheek and stood up. I kissed him and went into my building.

“Nice costume Miss Cummings,” came a voice from the desk. “Looks good on you.”

“Thank you, Henry,” I said. I did a little curtsy. “Where’s your costume?”

“Halloween was the other night.”

“So it was.” I walked over to the desk. “What was your costume?”

“Same as tonight.”

“You wear that every night,” I said.

“Every night must be Halloween for me.” He smiled.

“I’ll have to remember to have some candy with me.”

“Peanut butter cup would be nice.”

I laughed. “Have a good night Henry.”

“You too Miss Cummings.”

~~0~~

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Byline chapter 21

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---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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chapter 21

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I was in an emotional quandary after my conversation with Hannah at the party. She believed Kevin was planning something for Christmas. The way she talked, it had to mean he was planning to propose during the Holiday season. We haven’t been going out long enough for him to propose. I thought about Abbey. It happened for her.

What would I do if he did propose? I imagined him on one knee showing me a ring asking me to marry him. I could see myself covering my mouth not believing it was happening. Then me excitingly saying yes. He’d put the ring on my finger and we’d kiss. I’d be one happy girl. But I’m a guy. I can’t say yes. This can’t be happening. I want it to happen. But I don’t want it to happen.

I was tired of sitting around worrying about what might happen. I could solve the whole problem very quickly. I could tell him I’m in transition. Tell him I’m a guy in the process of becoming a woman. If I didn’t think he would break up with me when I told him, I would have told him by now. But I don’t want to stop going out with him. I decided to say I was busy when he called. Tell him I was helping Abbey with her wedding plans. Maybe squeeze him in for a date once or twice before the holidays. I didn’t know what else to do to deter him.

I didn’t have to wait long to try my plan.

“How’s Friday looking for you,” he asked.

“Friday’s not good. I’m busy the whole weekend.”

“The whole weekend? What up?”

“I told you my sister is getting married. I’ll be with her at my mother’s this weekend.”

“Didn’t you say the wedding was next September?”

“I said they were planning for next September. We’re going to be looking at venues, reserving her date at the church and start looking for a wedding dress and bridesmaid’s dresses.”

“Well if something changes give me a call.”

I hated lying to him. I wasn’t a total lie. Abbey was going to be at my mother’s house this weekend. Abbey was going to determine a date for the wedding and call the church to see if it was available. She was going to see what dates were available for the venues. It wasn’t going to be the whole weekend and I wouldn’t be going until she went to look for her wedding dress. For the moment, I felt I had dodged a bullet. I stayed in that weekend. I took advantage of some of the premium channels that were on my cable.

Kevin called again the following Tuesday.

“How did things go with your sister’s wedding plans?”

“So-so. She didn’t get as far as she wanted. Trying to work some dates out with the church. She found some venues she likes but needs a wedding date or dates before she can lock it in. She’ll probably get the dates this week and call the venues. It’ll be another weekend of wedding planning.”

“So you’re busy again this weekend.”

“Afraid so.”

“Are you free on Thursday? We could get an early dinner. There’s a restaurant near the bowling alley on Market Street. Do you bowl? We could play a game or two after dinner. It’ll be an early night. We both have work tomorrow.”

That sounded safe to me, dinner after work. I’d wear a skirt and top to work, bring a pair of leggings to change into so I wouldn’t have to bowl in a skirt.

“That’s a nice idea. I haven’t gone bowling for a long time.”

“See you Thursday. I’ll meet you at work.”

~~0~~

My date with Kevin went fine. Dinner was good and bowling was fun. I normally am a decent bowler but I made an effort to only break one hundred once. He didn’t say anything about Christmas during our bowling date. Kevin and I kissed at my building door. I waved as he turned to leave.

“Good evening Miss Cummings. You two have fun tonight?”

“Hi, Henry. We did. We went bowling.”

“Sounds like fun. How did you do?”

“I let him win every game.”

“Good move,” he said.

I laughed. “Oh wait.” I reached into my bag and put a peanut butter cup on the desk. “This is for you. Have a good night, Henry.”

“I will now Miss Cummings. Thanks. Good night.”

I saw Henry pick up the peanut butter cup as the elevator doors closed.

~~0~~

I still couldn’t get Hannah’s conversation out of my mind. I called Jo. She said to meet at the club on 13th street. We got inside and order drinks. After my last experience here, I had a cola. They didn’t make milkshakes. I told her what I thought Kevin was planning.

“Do you really think he’s going to propose? You’ve not even been going out 3 months. It’s got to be something else. Maybe he’s going to invite you to spend a weekend with him.”

“I don’t think that’s something he would do. He told me he doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. I don’t know what else it could be.”

“It could be anything. Did Hannah actually say he was going to propose?”

“Not in those words. That was the feeling I got from her. What else is something special during the Christmas season.”

“If he proposes, what do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know. I want to say yes but I can’t. He thinks I’m a woman. He would think he’s proposing to a woman. I can’t say yes.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Jo said.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s say he does propose. No matter how you feel, you can’t say yes. You say no, you act distraught and run away crying. He feels like a fool and is crushed. The two of you break up and your worries are over. You never have to tell him you’re a guy.”

“God, I wish it was that easy.”

“You didn’t ask him to propose.”

“Isn’t that what society expects? You go out with someone to see if you consider them a mate. If you do, you propose,” I said.

“Yeah, and society also expects the guy to make the decision and to ask. A woman can propose but how often do you hear of that happening. Hey, I think we just came up with something for your article.”

“You know you just might have given me another angle,” I said.

We heard a siren outside and saw flashing lights outside the club. I thought of Kevin what he might be doing right now.

“We have to cut this short. I’m meeting someone shortly. I’ll walk you out.”

Outside we saw a crowd. Jo asked someone what was going on. “Someone collapsed on the sidewalk. They’re working on him now. Think about what I said.” We hugged. She even gave me a kiss. I think that was a first. I found a cab and headed to my apartment.

I thought about what Jo had said on the ride home. If he does propose all I have to do is say no. Then the relationship is over and I don’t have to tell him I’m a guy. But I don’t want the relationship to end.

~~0~~

I sighed as I pushed some hair away from my face. It had been like this all day at work. Something seemed to be off. Everything I did seemed to take longer than it should. My mood brightened when I got a call from Kevin just before quitting time. I had decided to keep going out with him until or if he popped the question. He asked me to meet him at Starbucks. I checked my hair and fixed my makeup before I left and went to meet him.

Kevin was already sitting at a table when I arrived. I saw him deep in thought holding onto his coffee cup. Could he be thinking about proposing today? I didn’t think he saw me when I walked in. I ordered a cold vanilla latte. I picked it up and walked over to the table. He had a strange troubled look on his face. It was not a look that said he wanted to propose.

“Hi Kevin. I am glad you called.” I slid into the chair across from him. “It’s been a strange day. From the way you look, it seems you had a trying day also.”

“It’s been a bad day. I’ve had something on my mind all day.”

I tried to tell him about my day. He barely responded. He seemed uninterested. I didn’t like the vibe I was getting from him.

“Kevin, something is bothering you. Tell me about it. Maybe I can help.”

His head came up. His eyes burned into mine. “You can’t help,” he said. I went to touch his hand. He pulled his hand away as if I had touched him with a cigarette. The action startled me and I pulled my hand back.

“Kevin? What’s wrong?”

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something then lowered his head.

“Kevin? What’s wrong?”

“Look, I saw you there.”

“You saw me where?”

“Outside that lesbian club the other night.” Those blue eyes burned into mine again.

“You saw me at the club?”

“We responded to a call. A guy collapsed. After we got him stabilized, I happened to look around and I saw you. You were with another girl. You were hugging and kissing her.”

I could believe it. He had seen me with Jo while waiting for the cab. He had seen our goodbye hug and her kissing me.

“That was Jo. She’s a friend from college.”

“Is she a lesbian?”

“Yes, she is.” I didn’t like his tone.

“I don’t want you to see her again.” What the hell does he think he’s doing.

“Because she’s a lesbian? Would you not have helped that guy the other night if he was gay?”
“Of course not.

If it had been a woman and you knew she was a lesbian, would you have treated her?”

“Of course I would,” he said. “This is not about me. It’s about you. It’s about us.”

“What do you mean?”

“If we’re going to continue to go out, I don’t want you seeing her again.

“Kevin, you can’t tell me who I can be friends with.”

“You’re free to live your life and be friends with who you like. I won’t be in your life anymore if you’re friends with her.”

“You’re breaking up with me because I’m friends with Jo? Because I’m friends with a lesbian. This is crazy.”

“Are you a lesbian?”

“No,” I said. I wanted to say I can’t be. I’m a guy.

“Then stop seeing her.”

“She’s my friend from college. She’s a good friend. You’re being ridiculous.”

“What’s it going to be?”

“I’m not going to stop being friends with her because you want me to.”

“Then we’re over.” He stood up to leave.

“Because I have a friend who is a lesbian? You can’t mean that.”

“I’m sorry Casey. It’s over. I thought you were something special.” I looked up with tears in my eyes as he threw his cup in the trash.

“Kevin!”, I called out.

Without looking back, he walked out the door.

I sat there in shock staring at the door as it closed. “You can’t tell me who to be friends with,” I said to myself. I cried. I didn’t care who was there or who saw me. Kevin had walked out of my life because I’m friends with Jo. As soon as I was composed I left. I started walking and found myself at my old apartment building. I walked through the lobby door, went to my old apartment and knocked on the door. The door opened. Abbey saw me, her eyes and mouth opening wide. “Casey? What are you…, Oh no! Oh, honey. What happened?”

“He doesn’t want to see me.” I started to cry again. Abbey hugged me. I continued crying on her shoulder. She shuffled me into the room and closed the door. I didn’t say a word. I cried as she stroked my hair.

“Calm down. It’s going to be alright, shh.”

I don’t know how long we stayed like that.

I began to calm down and Abbey had me sit on the sofa. She left momentarily to get me some water and a box of tissues. “Thanks,” I said. I took a sip of the water then dabbed at my eyes with a tissue. I realized my makeup must be a mess.

“I think I can guess but tell me what happened,” Abbey said.

Between sobs, I told Abbey about feeling strange all day, Kevin calling, our meeting at Starbuck’s and our breakup.

“You have to be kidding. I thought you were going to tell me you had told him you’re a guy. He broke up with you because you’re friends with Jo? That’s unbelievable. What a piece of shit.”

“It hurts, Abbey. Make it go away.”

“I know sis, I know. I can’t make it go away. I wish I could.”

I started crying again and Abbey reached over and hugged me.

What’s going on with me. I don’t know who I am anymore. Look at me. I’m crying over a guy. I AM a guy. I may not look like a guy. I may not be dressing like a guy. But I’m a guy. Kevin liked me as Casey Jean. I’ll never know if he would have liked me as C J. I am C J. But I’m also Casey Jean.

We stayed that way until I was all cried out. I dabbed my eye some more. I saw the time.

“I better be getting home,” I said.

“No, you’re not leaving. You’re staying here tonight.”

“But Abs…”

“No buts. I don’t want you to be alone tonight. You’re staying here. You can borrow some clothes to wear tomorrow. We’ll make it a sister sleepover.”

“Is that a thing?” I said through a few sniffles.

“I don’t know but it sounded good.”

I smile for the first time in a while. “Thanks, Abs.”

“That’s what sisters are for.”

“You’re the best. I love you, Abbey.”

“I love you too Casey.”

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 22

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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chapter 22

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I called out from work in the morning saying I wasn’t feeling well. Which was the truth.

“I’ll take off too,” Abbey said. “I don’t want you to be alone.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.” I could tell by the way she looked at me she didn’t believe me. “No, really. It’s still going to hurt but I have to get over it in my own way. It’s not like it wouldn’t have happened eventually. If he can’t handle me being friends with a lesbian, I’m sure he couldn’t handle me being a guy.”

“You’re rationalizing,” she said.

“Maybe, but it will help me cope.”

~~0~~

After Abbey went to work, I took a shower. I was still in an ill humor as I dried my hair. Putting on my makeup and seeing the results made me feel a little better. My morose humor almost vanished when I looked in the mirror after getting dressed. I saw myself in a flower print romper with ruffles on the cap sleeves and legs. I found it while raiding Abbey’s closet. This is something most guys don’t experience. How changing your look and putting on clothing that makes you look good can change your entire mood. It wasn’t long before I left for my apartment.

~~0~~

Being alone in my apartment wasn’t as bad as I expected. I did have some emotional moments when I thought about Kevin. For the most part, I was holding it together. Abbey called too many times to make sure I was alright.

“I’m fine Abbey. Stop calling. You have patients that need you.”

“My sister needs me too. Maybe more than my patients. I can leave anytime and come over.”

“Thanks. I’m good. You can stop worrying about me.”

“I’m never going to stop worrying about you. Seriously, if you need me, call. I can be over in fifteen to twenty minutes.”

“I’ll call if I need you.”

At some point in the day, I came to the realization that breaking up with Kevin was inevitable. The only prevention would have been me telling him I was a guy before we had gone to dinner that first coffee date. Since me having a lesbian as a friend didn’t fit his lifestyle, I’m sure him dating a guy wouldn’t either. I resolved then to tell whoever I dated next I was a guy before the first date.

~~0~~

I’m not going to tell you I was over the pain of the breakup the next day. However, the pain was manageable. I was able to go to work. Hannah came over as soon as I settled in.

“I’m so sorry. Bart told me you and Kevin broke up. I didn’t know until last night. If I had, I would have called.”

“Thanks. I didn’t know it had gotten around so fast.”

“They are partners. I don’t agree with him. Neither does Bart. You can be friends with whoever you want. It’s such a shame. You two got along so well. Him breaking up with you doesn’t change anything between us. You’re still my best friend. You can always call me if you need to talk.”

“I really appreciate that. Thanks.

~~0~~

It was a short week as Thursday was Thanksgiving. The agency told us they were closing on Friday so it was going to be a four-day weekend. Abbey and I were going to spend Wednesday night, Thursday and Friday at Moms. With our suitcases packed we headed to Moms after work.

“Abbey, Casey get inside, Mom said. She hugged us as soon as we were inside. “You’re still in your uniform,” she said to Abbey.

“We came from work.”

“You look nice, Casey.” I had dressed in a nice top and skirt.

“Thanks.”

“You look nice too, Mom,” Abbey said before I did.

“Thanks. You girls go upstairs and put your bags in your rooms. Then come down and help with dinner.”

I began to follow Abbey upstairs. “Casey, can I see you a minute before you go up?”

I came back down and followed mom into the den. “Are you alright? Abbey told me about your break-up.”

“I’m getting over it, mom. It’ll hurt for a while.”

“I’d like to talk with you before bed.”

“Okay.”

Dinner was mom’s special chicken rice casserole. Mom would make it once a week when we were growing up. It was comfort food. It was what I needed. Mom’s somehow always know what their kids need. Abbey and I cleaned up after dinner. We made mom sit and watch which she did with remarkable ease. After watching TV for a while, Abbey and I said good night and went to get ready for bed. I was about ready to turn out the light when Mom appeared at my door.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure, Mom.” She sat on the bed.

“Are you sure you’re doing alright?”

“Yeah. I’m getting over it. It’s tough.”

“Abbey said you really liked this guy.”

“I did. He was really nice. Mom, he treated me like a princess. I didn’t want…”

I couldn’t continue. I started to cry. Mom moved closer and put her arms around me. “I’m sorry honey. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I didn’t cry long. I had been doing a lot of crying this week.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

I told mom the events leading up to the breakup.

“Well,” Mom said when I finished, “you never told him you were male. If you had, it may never have gotten this far. Do you really think he was planning to ask you to marry him?”

“I pretty sure he was planning to around Christmas.”

“Honey, you can’t marry a guy…”

“Same-sex couples can get married in PA,” I interrupted. I saw the look on mom’s face and stopped.

Mom waited for me to settled down then continued. “You can’t marry a guy without telling him you’re a guy. You need to do that before you start dating someone seriously.”

“I’m sorry for interrupting. You’re right, of course. I decided to do that from now on.”

Mom nodded. “Are you sure you're alright, honey? I’m not talking about your breakup. I’m talking about this assignment. You‘re reacting to this breakup just like… well… just like a woman. Maybe a little too much like a woman. It’s almost as if you’ve forgotten you’re male.”

“I haven’t forgotten. It’s… I’m getting comfortable being a woman. I actually thought I wanted to be a woman for a while.”

“Are you still thinking about becoming a woman?”

“I might be. I’m not sure. Would you be upset?”

“Upset about what? Losing my son? Gaining a daughter? Either way, my child will still be here. That’s all I care about, and you being happy. Since you started this assignment, I’ve seen a different Casey. Not just in gender. You’ve become confident and you appear happier, this week notwithstanding. If this assignment convinces you to become a woman, I will support you.”

“You would? You really would?”

“Yes honey, I would.”

“Thanks, Mom.” We hugged. “I don’t know what I’m going to do when my assignment ends. I’ve got some time to decide.”

“That you do, dear.” She leaned in and kissed me on my head. “Sweet dreams.”

~~0~~

Abbey and I had both taken off the Friday after thanksgiving. We decide to stay at moms until Saturday afternoon. It was just after lunch when My phone rang. It was my boss Jennifer.

“Hi, Jennifer. How was your thanksgiving?”

“It was fine Casey. Listen, I’ve got some bad news. The magazine is thinking about canceling your assignment. They haven’t been pleased with your articles. They’ve called them wilted and stilted. Frankly, I thought they were pretty lame also. They are all over the place. I don’t think you believe in what your writing. There’s no conviction. I know you can do better. I bought you some time. I believe this is an important article. I still think you can do it but you’ve got to give me more.”

I stood there in shock. They want to cancel the assignment. No assignment means no byline. “How much time do I have?”

“With people leaving for the holidays, I was able to get them to wait until a week after the New Year. I need you to re-write those articles. Give me something worth publishing. You can do what you want until then. You can continue as you are or go back to C J as much as you can. It’s up to you.”

“I can do this, Jennifer. I’m going to continue as I am and re-write the articles.”

“I’ll talk with you after the new year. I need to see results. I hope you can still have happy holidays,” she said.

I sat down after we hung up. I was in shock. What else could possibly go wrong? First Kevin and I break up and now the magazine is thinking about canceling my assignment. I started crying again. Abbey heard me, came in and saw me in tears.

“Casey, what’s wrong?”

I told her about the magazine’s pending decision.

“You can fix this,” she said. “Re-write those articles the way I know you can.”

She stayed with me until I settled down. I wasn’t sure I could write anything anymore.

~~0~~

The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas always seem to go too fast. My Christmas shopping list was down to Abbey, Mom, Amy, Matt, Jo and Hannah. Of course, I waited until the week before Christmas before finishing my shopping. Amy and Matt were easy enough. I knew they would be happy with gift cards. They would be surprised at the amount. I could afford it this year. Jo was fairly easy also. She was a big hockey fan. I used some pull, provided by the magazine, to get her 4 games in an exclusive section. The eight tickets were expensive. I was sure she would invite me so I felt I was getting myself a present also. I got Hannah a substantial gift certificate to her favorite art store. I got both Mom and Abbey a pair of earrings and gift certificates to their favorite restaurants. In addition, I got them both new designer handbags and wallets.

I was hoping doing Christmas shopping would break me out of my writing funk. But it didn’t. It made me feel better but did not do anything to remove my writer's block. The words just wouldn’t flow.

Christmas was on a Wednesday this year so I took the entire week off. I figured I would give Hannah her present on Friday before Christmas. I would make arrangements to give the gang their presents on the weekend. I would wrap Mom and Abbey’s presents on Monday or Tuesday morning. Abbey and I would head to Moms for Christmas eve dinner and services.

The office desk had been decorated with holiday trimmings since the beginning of December. I was in before Hannah the Friday before Christmas. I forgot to mention, I also had to get a secret Santa gift. I had drawn Chris who was one of the managers. I found out he loved coffee. It was easy to get him a Starbuck’s gift certificate and travel coffee mug he could get refilled.

The office party was nice and presents were given out. Chris liked his gift. Dani, one of the administrative assistants gave me a gift certificate for a manicure. With the party just about over and all the gifts were given out, Hannah and I found ourselves back at the front desk. I got Hannah’s gift out of my bag.

“Hannah, Merry Christmas.” I held out the box with her gift.

“Casey, you didn’t have to do this. Thank you.” She unwrapped and opened the box and saw her gift. “Oh my gosh, Casey! This will buy a lot of paint and supplies. Thank you. You shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to, Hannah. Merry Christmas.”

Hannah reached over to a box near her bag. “This is for you. It doesn’t compare to your gift.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it.” I unwrapped her gift. It was an eight by ten framed painting of me at our office desk. It was beautiful. “Hannah, this is amazing! Oh my gosh, I love it.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“I mean it. Thank you.” We hugged.

“Merry Christmas, Casey.”

“Merry Christmas, Hannah.”

Quitting time came and Hannah and I packed our things to leave for the day.

“You’re out all next week?” Hannah asked.

“Yeah, I have to wrap my family’s gifts between now and Tuesday. Then it’s off to Mom’s house for Christmas Eve and Christmas. Probably leave Thursday. I’ll be back at work the Monday before New Year's day.”

“I’m staying local. I’ll see you when you get back. Merry Christmas and thanks.”

“Merry Christmas Hannah.” We hugged again, got our coats on and left for the holidays.

~~0~~

One would have thought that I would have been over my breakup with Kevin after a month. Two days before Christmas I had a meltdown. While wrapping presents, I began thinking about Kevin proposing and showing me a ring. Maybe it was Hannah’s painting. Kevin was not in the painting but looking at it reminded me of Hannah and Bart and Kevin. I was depressed for about two hours. The gang was not able to get together over the weekend. We decided on making it Monday. I pulled myself together and recovered in time to meet the gang at the restaurant.

Dinner with the gang was a good time. Amy got me earrings, Matt a gift certificate. Jo got me a beautiful elegant watch. Matt left first leaving the rest of us to talk for a while. Amy left soon after leaving me and Jo at the table.

“Are you alright? You’ve seemed a bit off all night,” said Jo.

“You would notice. I had a meltdown this afternoon. I’m fine now.”

“The hell you are. Were you thinking of that piece of shit Kevin again?”

“He was going to propose.” I felt myself tearing up.

“Casey, get over it. He didn’t propose. Hell, you don’t even know if he was going to propose. You only think he was.”

“Hannah said he was planning something for the holidays.”

“It could have been anything. He could have been asking you to meet his parents. Casey, you’re doing this to yourself. You’re getting yourself all worked up over something you only think was going to happen. You’re regretting something that’s all in your head. It didn’t happen. Look, I know it hurts to break up, to be rejected. It’s his loss.”

Jo and I talked for an hour more. When we finished, Jo reached into her bag.

“Here I have one more present for you.”

She handed me a small bundle of ten business cards with my name and number and the words Journalist Extraordinaire. I looked at her. “What…?”

“Look at one of these when you get down on yourself.”

“Thanks, Jo.” I pulled one of the cards from the stack and handed it to Jo. “Here, you can be the first person I give one to.” Without saying a word, she put it in her bag.

We hugged, wished each other a Merry Christmas and left. On the ride home, I realized Jo was right. Kevin could have had anything planned for the holidays. I had been thinking of being engaged. It was all Abbeys fault. If Abbey hadn’t gotten engaged, I wouldn’t have been thinking about it. I laughed to myself. I knew it wasn’t her fault. I didn’t want it to be mine. I was doing it to myself. I felt better by the time I got to my building.

“Good evening Miss Cummings. Were you out Christmas shopping?”

“Hi, Henry. No, I was exchanging presents with friends. How about you? Did you finish your shopping?”

“I did everything online. I was done weeks ago.”

“You shopped online? I’m impressed.”

“I may be old but I keep up with technology. Thinking about getting that Google Home or Alexa thing one of these days.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it. I’ll be visiting my Mother tomorrow so I won’t see you before Christmas.” The elevator came. I got in and pushed the button. “Merry Christmas, Henry.”

“Merry Christmas, Miss Cummings.”

As the doors closed I knew I had one more present to get.

I was up early on Christmas Eve to buy one more gift. Back in my apartment, I wrapped it, put a bow on top and wrote on the gift tag. I packed all the gifts and went to pack my suitcase. I finished with plenty of time to spare. Abbey called to let me know she was here. I brought my bags down filled with my clothes and family gifts. I put my bags in the car, got in and off we went to see our mother.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 23

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

chapter 23

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“You girls look nice,” Mom said. Abbey and I were hanging up our coats. “Bring your bags to your rooms then come down and help with dinner.” We did as she asked and hurried down to help Mom in the kitchen.

As we ate dinner, we talked about the gifts we got at our various office parties. Mom told stories of her office parties past and present. We cleaned up after dinner and soon we were relaxing in the living room. When it was time to go to Christmas Eve services we got ready and left.

Christmas Eve service was an early evening service. The church was nicely decorated. There was a re-enactment of the nativity scene by the children. During the sermon, we were reminded what a glorious and happy time the Christmas season was. I felt anything but happy. How could I with my recent breakup with Kevin? That and my assignment cancellation looming.

After the service, there was a Christmas social in the social hall. There were desserts aplenty and small gifts for the children. We had found an empty table in the hall which was soon filled with mom’s friends. After a short prayer, people got up to get some desserts. Abbey had left Mom and me to go talk with some friends.

“How are you holding up, Casey?” Mom asked.

“I’m doing alright. Why do you ask?”

“It’s the first time you’re presenting as a woman in your old neighborhood, so to speak.”

“I have noticed some stares,” I said.

“I’ve noticed that too,” Abbey said. She had come back with a sampling of desserts that looked tempting. “Some people are wondering why you have two daughters.”

“Don’t pay any attention to them. We don’t have to stay. If you want, we can go home.” Mom said.

I thought about leaving. People had been chatting with Mom and Abbey. A few people who spoke to me thought I was Abbey at first. No one seemed to see me. In a room filled with people, I suddenly felt alone. “No, Mom. Let’s stay. If I decide to do this, I have to get used to this. I’m going to try some of the desserts.”

I wandered over to the refreshment table. I had put a small assortment of treats on my plate when I sensed someone beside me. “Um, hi Casey,” Came a voice. I turned to see Carol Wahim. Carol was an on-again, off-again sort of friend. Like most people, she was never sure whether I was a boy or a girl. We never really hung out in high school but we were friendly.

“Oh, Carol, hi,” I said. I was trying not to drop anything from my plate as I turned.

“I wasn’t sure it was really you,” she said. “It’s been so long.”

“Well, you know, going to college then grad school. What’s it’s been, 10 years?”

I did a one-handed hug still trying not to drop anything.

“About that long,” she said. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. How about you?”

“I’m good. I see you’ve made some, um, changes. You’ve stopped dressing like a boy. You look great. It suits you.”

“Thanks. It’s been quite a change.”

“Oh, look, there’s Alysa. Alysa!,” She called out, “Over here!” She waved her over. “Alysa, you remember Casey from school.”

“Oh my God, Casey,” Alysa said. “It’s been ages.”

I had to hug Alysa also. It was a marvel that everything stayed on my plate.

“Alysa’s getting married,” Carol said. “Show her your ring.”

Alysa showed me her ring. I gushed over it and offered my congratulations. I felt pain from the thought that I could have been showing off a ring Kevin might have given me. I quickly put that thought aside. I was determined not to cry. Others joined the three of us and we talked for about half an hour. At one point I noticed mom glancing over at me. She nodded and smiled. I no longer felt alone. The girls accepted me as I was. We exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. I was glad I decided to stay.

I finally broke away from the girls as the party began to die down. I was heading back to the table so I could try the desserts on my plate when I heard a male voice.

“I know your not Abbey. I saw Abbey a little while ago. Can it be? Kenzie? Is that you?”

No one has called me Kenzie since that Halloween night I dressed as Sailor Mars. Other than my family, only one other person knew me as Kenzie.

“Trevor? Oh my God, Trevor!” He came over and we hugged. He gave me a kiss on my cheek. I still managed to keep everything on my plate.

During that Halloween night, I had met Trevor Wilkes at the refreshment table. We talked, danced and he gave me my first kiss from a guy. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me that night so I pretended to be my fictitious cousin Kenzie.

“You look as beautiful as I remember,” he said. “When did you get back?”

“Get back?”

“From Australia.” Abbey had told him Kenzie had moved to Australia.

“Australia, right. Um… after I graduated Grad school. How have you been?”

“I’m great. Abbey didn’t mention you were back. Where are you staying?”

“I’m, um… visiting my aunt for the holidays.”

“How long will you be in town?”

“I’ll be with my Aunt until Friday or Saturday. I'm not sure yet. I live in Philly now so I’ll be in there after that.” I noticed mom and Abbey trying to get my attention. “There’s my um… Aunt and cousin now. I think they’re calling me over.”

“Any chance I could get your number? I'm in Philly also. I’d like to call and maybe take you out for dinner to catch up.”

“Sure, let me get my phone.” He followed me to the table where Mom and Abbey were sitting. “Aunt Sheila, this is Trevor. I met him at the Halloween party when I took Donna’s place.”

“Nice to meet you, Trevor.”

“You too Mrs. Cummings.”

Mom was quick to pick up on things. “Kenzie we’re about to get going. We’ll meet you at the car. Don’t be long. Good night Trevor.”

“Good night Mrs. Cummings. You too Abbey.”

I retrieved my phone and dialed Trevor’s number. It rang, he answered. It took no time to enter my name into his phone.

“Thanks, Kenzie. I’ll call this week. Have a good night. It’s great seeing you again.”

He came close and kissed me on the cheek again. I did the same. We parted and I began to walk to the exit. I turned to see my dessert plate sitting on the table. I had not had a chance to try one of them. Mom and Abbey were waiting in the car. Abbey started talking the second the door closed.

“Casey, I was looking for you to let you know Trevor was here. He found you first.”

“That’s okay. It was a pleasant surprise. He’s going to call to go to dinner this week. I can’t believe he was here.” It was a surprise. I hadn’t seen him since he graduated high school. Finally, something good was happening.

~~0~~

I was in the kitchen late Christmas morning making pancakes. Wearing a red sleep top and sleep shorts, I was pouring the pancake batter on the griddle. The smell of bacon and coffee filled the room. I had a cup of coffee within reach.

“Thanks for making breakfast,” Mom said. She walked into the kitchen and gave me a kiss on the side of my head.

“I thought I’d surprise you and Abbey. Do you want me to pour you a cup of coffee?”

“I can get it. You finish with the pancakes.” Mom stole a slice of bacon as she walked to the coffee maker. I playfully went to slap her hand and missed. She sat at the table with coffee in hand watching me as I flipped the current batch of pancakes. “I saw you talking with some old classmates at church,” she said.

“Yes, it was Carol and Alysa. Alysa is getting married.” I poured the last of the batter on the griddle. I looked over at mom as she sipped her coffee. “Carol said she noticed my changes. She said I stopped wearing boy's clothes. Said it suited me. She called Alysa over. They both acted like it wasn’t out of the ordinary for me to be wearing a dress. It was the same with the other girls.” I looked up from the griddle. “Mom, did everyone think I was a girl?“ I put the last of the pancakes on the serving plate. I brought the food to the table. I got my coffee and sat with mom.

“Not everyone. Although, I was asked many times why I let you dress as you did. Many people were like the Henderson’s the other night. Mrs. Henderson was sure you were a girl. Mr. Henderson was not quite sure.”

“If I were to decide to continue presenting as a woman, would the family understand?”

Mom put her coffee down. “Are you considering that?”

“It’s come up a few times.”

“Your Uncle Raymond would understand, without a doubt. Your Aunt Kaity would also. She thought you were a girl from the first. Took a while for her to believe me.”

“I would be accepted then.”

“Definitely on my side of the family. Honey, you wouldn’t be the first.”

“Excuse me? I wouldn’t be the first? What do you mean?”

“You’re Uncle Raymond, he used to be my sister Raychel.”

I sat there with my mouth open. “Uncle Raymond? Really? I never knew.”

“And why would you? I never told you or your sister. He would accept you without question.”

The two of us ate in silence after mom’s revelation. I was deep in thought. I almost didn’t hear Abbey walk in.

“It’s so quiet in here,” she said. “Who do I thank for breakfast?”

“Thank your sister,” Mom said, “She made everything. You do have to pour your own coffee.”

“Can’t get good help these days,” Abbey said. I stuck out my tongue at her. “Thanks dear sister.” She came over and hugged me.

“You’re welcome,” I said.

~~0~~

With breakfast done, we were sitting around the Christmas tree in the living room. Abbey and I had finished given Mom her presents.

“Thank you both,” she said. “I had a difficult time choosing presents this year. Mostly because of you Casey.”

“Me? What did…”

“Now don’t get yourself in a tizzy.” Mom patted me on my knee.

"I was unsure what to get for you. In the end, I went with my gut feeling. Last night told me I was right. I hope you both like your presents.”

Abbey and I opened our presents. Mom had gotten us dressy and casual tops, a dress, in different colors and earrings.

“They’re beautiful,” I said.

“I saved the receipts if you need to exchange anything. I was going to get you two the same colors. Then I thought you might be getting tired of people thinking you were twins.” Abbey and I laughed.

“Thanks, Mom,” we both said.

“One more thing.” Mom handed us each an envelope. We opened it to find a certificate for a spa day. Abbey squealed when she saw what was in her envelope. “It’s for all of us. I want to spend the day getting pampered with my girls.”

A round of hugs ensued. After cleaning up, we left the room to get ready for the day. I have been thinking of continuing to present as a woman when my assignment was over. If I did, I now knew the family would accept me. I even had someone I could talk to about transitioning. Last night showed me, my old school mates, the girls at least, accepted me as I was currently presenting. And then there was Trevor. I was hoping he would call. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do when the assignment ended. Whether it ended the week after the new year or when it was complete, this weekend had started the pendulum moving.

~~0~~

I didn’t get back to my apartment until Friday evening. I wheeled my suitcase into the lobby. I waved to Henry at the desk.

“Did you have a nice Christmas Miss Cummings?” asked Henry.

“It was very nice Henry. I spent Christmas with my mother and sister. How was yours?”

“Mine was nice also.”

I walked up to the desk and place a wrapped Christmas gift on the desk. “This is for you Henry.”

“For me? Miss Cummings, you didn’t need to do this.”

“I wanted to. Go on, open it up.”

I could tell he was a little embarrassed as he began to unwrap the gift to reveal an Alexa. “Miss Cummings, you shouldn’t have.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I saw Henry open the box as the elevator doors closed.

~~0~~

Christmas was over and the New Year wasn’t far away. Saturday morning had me up early sitting with my computer open and a huge mug of coffee by my side. I was hoping my seeing Trevor again would jump-start my creative juices. It didn’t. There was still an ax hanging over my head ready to terminate my assignment. When it did, my feature story and my byline would go with it. I tried to write. I was being frustrated by the blank page of my writing program when I got a call from Trevor.

“I was hoping we could go to dinner tonight say around 6:30,” he said.

I accepted without out much thought. I suggested a casual place nearby my apartment. I didn’t want to get all dressed up tonight. A nice top, a pair of capris, and flats tonight would be fine. Of course, I would have on a little more makeup and some perfume.

I wanted to be careful. It hasn’t been that long that Kevin and I broke up. I needed to be sure I wasn’t rebounding to Trevor. This was just a dinner to catch up. It was not a serious date so I didn't feel the need to tell Trevor I was a guy, yet.

I began thinking about the rest of that school year, long ago, after I had met Trevor as Kenzie. I thought about Trevor a lot. He had tried to find out as much as he could about our fictitious cousin Kenzie. He asked Abbey and then me, questions about Kenzie. Abbey had concocted a story that Kenzie moved to Australia. It was plausible. Our Uncle did move there for work. I had laughed to myself when he asked me if I could get a message to Kenzie to see if she would fly back to go to his Senior Prom. I actually thought about it, being Kenzie and going to the prom with him. Abbey said I should go. I decided not to accept but as the Prom approached I wondered if I had made a mistake.

Lunchtime passed and dinner approached. If I had been using a typewriter and paper, my trashcan would be filled with paper. I gave up and decided to get ready for my catch-up date with Trevor.

It was getting close to 6:30 and I was far from done. I called security and told them I was expecting Trevor and to send him up when he arrived. I finished putting in one of my earrings when security let me know Trevor was on his way up. I went to the door in my bare feet.

Trevor was wearing a button-down shirt and khaki pants and looked great. “Come on in. I’m almost ready,” I said. I started back to my room trying to put my other earring in place. I heard the door close.

“Very nice place. It suits you,” I heard him say.

"Thanks," I said. "I'll be ready in a moment." I returned back to my room. I brushed my hair, finished my makeup, put on my shoes and walked through a cloud of perfume. I got my bag and walked to the living area. Trevor was sitting on the couch. He stood up. I stopped an arm's length away. “How do I look?” I asked. I twirled.

“You look beautiful.” I went toward him as he reached for me and we kissed. I saw some lipstick on his cheek after our kiss. I used my finger to clean it off.

“I’m gonna have to fix my makeup before we leave”. I went to the living room mirror to make the minor repair. “All finished,” I said. “Let’s go.”

Dinner was nice. He talked about school, college, grad school and law school. He was a contract lawyer. He found a job in Center City on Market Street. I told him about going to College and Grad school to become a journalist.

“So you’re a writer. Any articles yet?”

“Not yet,” I lied. I had written that article about Hannah. “I’m working on one now. I just haven’t been able to write anything lately.”

“Why’s that?”

“Writer’s block I guess. I broke up with my boyfriend before Thanksgiving. I guess it’s still affecting me. If I don’t get something written that they like, I’ll be pulled off the assignment.”

“Maybe I can help. What’s your assignment?”

“I’d love to tell you but I can’t. Confidentiality and all. You understand.”

“Sure. Let’s get the check. It’s a nice night. We can walk around a bit if that’s alright with you.”

“Sure. I wore flats,” I smiled.

We walked around Old City and stopped in an ice cream shop. We found a bench and sat and talked. We then walked back to my building.

“I had a great time, Trevor. It’s been a while since I felt this good.”

“I had a great time too. The company couldn’t have been better,” he said. “I want to ask, would you come to a New Year's Eve party with me? It’s a company party. We’ll be surrounded by a bunch of boring lawyers. I know it’s last minute. If you already have plans, I understand.”

“I know one lawyer who’s not boring.” I smiled. “I don’t have any plans but let me think about it. I’ll let you know on Monday.” I needed time to make sure I wasn’t on the rebound.

“That works. Have a good night Kenzie.” We kissed. I found my way into my building.

“Looks like you had a good night Miss Cummings.”

“How can you tell Henry?”

“You’re glowing,” he said. He was right. I was.

~~0~~

My good feeling continued through most of Sunday. I actually got some writing done. It wasn’t great but it was a start. My mood clouded over when my phone rang. I saw it was Kevin. I didn’t answer the phone. Why should I? He tried to tell me I could not be friends with one of my best friends if I wanted to go out with him. He was a bigoted son of a bitch. The phone went quiet. A minute later I was alerted I received a text.

Please answer, it read. It was from Kevin. The phone rang again.

“What do you want?” I answered in my most menacing voice.

“Casey, please don’t hang up. I want to apologize.”

“Go on,” I said.

“I was a jerk. I had no right to tell you who you can have as friends. I’m sorry. I want to make it up to you.” He sounded so pathetic.

“Why should I believe you?”

“There’s no reason you should. I’m telling you I realized I was wrong. I’d like a chance to make it right. Bart and Hannah are having a New Year's Eve party. If I get out of line, you can have them throw me out.”

“Maybe I have plans for New Year's Eve. Let me think about it. I’ll text you on Monday,” I said.

“That’s all I can ask for. I’m sorry for how I acted. I really am. I hope you can forgive me. Have a good night.” I hung up without saying good night to him.

I now had two guys asking me to go out on New Year's Eve. I needed some advice. I had to call Abbey.

~~0~~

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 24

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

chapter 24

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“I can’t believe that bastard called you,” Abbey said. “I can’t believe you even talked to him. After telling you who you can be friends with and breaking up with you, he has no right.”

“He apologized and asked me out on New Year's Eve.”

“Oh no. You’re not considering going out with him, are you? You’ve seen what he is like, Guys like him don’t change.”

“Doesn’t he deserve a second chance?” I said.

“A guy bringing you flowers you don’t like deserves a second chance. Not him. Come with me and Gil. The three of us can bring in the new year. I don’t want you alone on New Year’s Eve.”

“Trevor asked me out also. His office is having a New Year’s Eve party.”

“Wait. Trevor asked you out and you’re thinking of going out with Kevin? Have you gone blond or something?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid I’m rebounding with Trevor.”

“Do you remember when he asked you to ask Kenzie to go to the Prom with him? How did it feel?”

“It felt amazing. I was asked to go to the senior prom. If I was really Kenzie, I would have gone with him.”

“This is no rebound. This is fate. Tell Kevin to stick it where the sun don’t shine. Your choice is clear.”

“Thanks, sis.”

“That’s what big sisters are for.”

I felt the same way Abbey did about the situation. I don’t know why. I just needed to hear it from someone. Tomorrow I would call them and let them know.

~~0~~

It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Trevor was pleased and we made plans. Kevin was disappointed at the news, of course. I guess I felt bad for him. I gave in and agreed to let him call me again. If Abbey knew I did that, she would probably disown me.

~~0~~

I decided to get all dolled up for the New Year’s Eve party and for Trevor. I knew it was cold out. The temperature was supposed to be in the low twenty’s. Even with the chilly forecast, I decided to wear a very short, tight, sleeveless emerald green sequined dress with a black bolero jacket. I thought it was perfect for the night ahead. I had on the earrings Mom gave me for Christmas. A pair of black 4-inch sandals were at the end of my barely-black stockinged legs. My stockings were toe-less showing off my pedicure. I thought today was the best I had ever done my makeup, even if it was a little heavy. I checked myself in the full-length mirror. I looked great. More importantly, I felt great.

I had finished smoothing out my dress when my phone rang. Trevor was calling to let me know he was here. I told him I was ready and I would come down. I got my coat, scarf and my clutch then took the elevator to the lobby.

“Looking very nice this evening, Miss Cummings.” Henry was looking at me over his monitor as I got out of the elevator. “Looks like you’re going to a party.”

“Why thank you, Henry. And, yes, I am going to a party.” I walked over to the desk. A few New Year decorations had been added to the lobby. “Why are you working on New Year's Eve?”

“The young guys have plans tonight. I pitched in to give them the time off. I’ve had many New Years' Eve nights. Not much new for me. I can watch the ball drop on the desk TV. I’ll get another day off if I want it.”

“That’s nice of you.” I leaned on the desk. “How are you and Alexa getting along?”

“I’m getting used to Alexa. Been using it to set timers while cooking.”

“You can have it play music while you cook.”

“I can? Do you think she’ll play some jazz?”

“So, you like jazz?”

“Didn’t like it much when I was younger. Listened to it about 10, 12 years ago. Been listening to it ever since.”

“I’m sure she will if you ask her nicely.”

“I’ll have to try that. You be safe out tonight.”

“I will.” I began walking to the door. “Have a good evening.”

“You too, Miss Cummings.”

As I walked out, I felt I was swaying my hips more than usual. It might have been the four-inch heels. Maybe it was because of my date. Maybe it was because I felt great. I waved to Trevor. I was surprised he had rented a limo. Trevor was standing at the back of the limo and opened the door for me. “Hi, Trevor. This is fancy,” I said as I settled in.

“Only the best for you, Kenzie,” he said. He closed the door and got in the other side. We kissed. “Ready to ring in the new year?”

“You bet,” I said. With our seat belts on our driver put the car in gear. We were on our way.

~~0~~

The office party was rocking this New Year's Eve. Many of the women wore dresses as short as mine. The night continued on. Trevor and I had plenty of time to continue catching up. I had to keep remembering he believed I had been in Australia and not slip up. We had a great time. It was much like our Halloween night. It was like a dream. I am at this great party in a beautiful dress looking my best with a great guy. I was caught up in my thoughts as Midnight came. Suddenly I realized I was kissing Trevor. Not just a kiss on the cheek, but a full lip lock. After the shock, I relaxed and returned the kiss, savoring the moment as my arms went around his neck. Then it hit me. I’m doing it again. I’m out with a guy who thinks I’m a woman. I know I should have told him when he called but I wanted to go out tonight. I selfishly didn’t tell him. Even though it was cold outside, the club felt hot. I began to feel flushed. I had to go.

“Trevor, I think I’ve had too much to drink. I’m not feeling well.”

“Why don’t we go outside for a bit,” he suggested. “Maybe you’ll feel better in the cold air.”

I didn’t want to go outside in my short dress but I agreed. We were outside for about ten minutes and I felt no better. I knew it wasn’t the alcohol, it was my emotions, my guilt about deceiving Trevor.

“I’m not feeling any better. Please take me home.”

Trevor got our coats and called the limo driver. We got in and headed to my building.

“I’m sorry for ruining the night,” I said.

“Nothing to be sorry about. I’ve had a great time.”

We arrived at my building. Trevor told the limo driver to wait and walked me to the door.

“I’d like to call you again,” he said.

“Yes, I’d like that. Good night, Trevor. I’m sorry for ruining the night.”

I opened the lobby door and got in before he could say anything.

“Is everything alright, Miss Cummings?” asked Henry.

“Just had a bit too much to drink tonight, Henry. I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

I got in the elevator and went up to my apartment.

~~0~~

I closed my apartment door and sat on the couch. I took my heels off and curled my legs up under me. I began berating myself. What kind of cruel, selfish person am I? I’ve deceived two guys into thinking I’m a woman. I should have told both of them before we started dating. Did my ruining tonight hurt any chance of going out again with Trevor? There I was, being selfish again. I still had no answers when my phone rang. Through my tears, I saw it was the hospital. I couldn’t imagine why was the hospital would be calling me. I knew Abbey was out with Gil. I answered.

“Am I speaking with Casey Cummings?” came the female voice.

“Yes.”

“My name is Arlene Harbison. I work at the hospital. Do you know a Josephine Leni?”

“Yes, she’s a friend of mine. Has something happen to her?”

“She was involved in a car accident. She was brought into Emergency and is currently in surgery. We tried her home number but no one answered. We found a card with your name. Do you happen to know how we can reach her family?

“No, I’m afraid I don’t. I can call some friends, maybe they know. Is it alright if I come to the hospital?”

“That would be a good idea. It might be good for her to see a friendly face if she wakes up.”

“Thanks.” If she wakes up. My God, how bad is she hurt? I called Abbey, told her what was going on and asked if she could smooth the way for me to be with Jo. She said she knew the supervisor working tonight and told me to ask for her. I called Amy and Matt but had to leave messages on their phones. I tried calling a cab but was told it would take a while to get here. Trying other car services produced the same results. I put on a pair of sneakers and went down to the lobby to wait for the cab. In the lobby, I kept walking back and forth looking out the window. I was trying to will a cab to come. It definitely wasn’t working.

“Miss Cummings, is everything alright? You look a bit frazzled,” Henry asked. He had walked up beside me as I was looking out the window.

“I am, Henry. A friend of mine was in an accident. She’s in bad shape at the hospital. She’s in surgery. I called the cab company. They didn’t know how soon they could get a cab here. It’s the same with the other car services. I’m gonna have to wait. I have to get there. Maybe I’ll walk.” I must have sounded on the verge of hysterics.

“Miss Cummings, calm down. You’re not waiting. I can take you to the hospital. I was about to go on my break. I’ll let them know and we’ll be on our way. I’ll get you there in no time.”

True to his word, Henry got me to the hospital. “Thank you, Henry. I owe you big time.” I grabbed my bag and began to get out of the car.

“I’m paying it forward, Miss Cummings. I hope everything goes well for your friend.”

I walked up to the front desk and asked for the supervisor. Abbey had worked her magic. The supervisor was expecting me and brought me to Jo’s ICU room. I asked questions and was told Jo was out of surgery but not out of danger. I gingerly entered her room as a nurse was checking her vitals. Jo was lying in bed with tubes coming out both her arms. I’ve never seen her so vulnerable. I sat in a chair at the end of the bed. The nurse asked me if I needed anything and to call if Jo woke up.

I got a return call from Amy about an hour after I got there.

“I just got your call. How’s Jo? Is she alright?”

“I don’t know. They haven’t told me much. She’s out of surgery in ICU. Amy, she looks bad. What if she doesn’t make it?” I felt the tears starting.

“You can’t think that way. Jo’s a fighter, you know that. I’m in New York. I can check out and be there in about two and a half hours.”

“Don’t do that. Get some rest first. They won’t let anyone else in here who isn’t family. I’m only here because Abbey pulled some strings. Can you get in touch with Jo’s family? Jo didn’t have any information with her.”

“I have her family information at home. I’ll get a few hours of sleep and head home and get it. I’ll call when I get home. Call me when you know more.”

I sat there watching as the nurses would come in and check on Jo. As the early morning wore on, the nurses began to come in less frequently. I took that as a good sign. After one of the checks, I started talking to Jo.

“I think I screwed up, Jo. Trevor asked me out tonight. So did Kevin. I didn’t go out with him, Kevin that is. It’s just… I liked him. I told him he could call. Don’t be mad. I know what you think of him. He’s not in my good graces either. I was with Trevor tonight. That is, I went out with Trevor. He took me to his office party. I had a great time until he kissed me. It was a full happy New Year kiss. I wasn’t expecting it. But then it happened. It seemed like all the guilt I have about deceiving him and Kevin came flooding in all at once. I couldn’t handle it. I asked him to take me home. Then I heard about you and came right here. Look at me. I didn’t even change.

“There’s something I haven’t told you. I’ve been too ashamed. The magazine doesn’t like my articles. They called them wilted and stilted. My boss told me I was writing without conviction. Like I didn’t believe in what I was writing. She is disappointed. She knows I can do better. I have until Monday to rewrite the articles. If I can’t write them to my boss's satisfaction, the magazine is going to cancel my assignment. My feature story, my byline all goes up in smoke. The problem is I haven’t been able to write anything. I’ve sat at my computer night after night. All I do is stare at a blank screen. I thought it was a result of breaking up with Kevin. I thought having Trevor in my life would get me going again. Nothing I do is working. I’m gonna be looked at as someone who can’t complete an assignment. I’ve got this great opportunity and I can’t put anything down on paper worth reading. It’ll be fluff pieces for me until I find another job or retire. I don’t know what to do or…”

“Will you quit your whining and shut up?” It was Jo’s strained voice.

“Jo, you’re awake.”

“How can I sleep with you going on and on?”

“Hold on, let me get the nurse.” I rang for the nurse who came in almost immediately. She checked Jo’s vitals.

“I’m going to let the doctor know,” she said then left.

“I’ve been so worried Jo. I…”

“Shut up and listen. That Kevin brussel sprout’s a piece of shit. Dump him quick. And your job problem, didn’t you read the cards I gave you? You’re a journalist extraordinaire. The cards didn’t say, C J Cummings. They said, Casey Jean Cummings. Write the articles as Casey Jean would. Have Casey tell C J what to write, if you have to. Now get out of here. Go home and write those damn articles, you dumb ass, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You know you can do it. And this Trevor guy, he sounds like a decent guy. Don’t let him get away. Ask him if he has a sister. See if I can have some water or something on your way out.”

The doctors came in and began examining Jo. During that time, I called Amy. She picked up on the first ring. I let her know Jo had woken up. When the doctor was done, he told me Jo appeared to be stable and would probably be in and out for the remainder of the day. I was told to go home and get some sleep. I said goodbye to Jo. She told me not to come back until the articles were finished.

I got home but I couldn’t sleep. Jo had told me to write so I got out my computer. I made myself a mug of coffee while it booted up. I sat down to start to write. Nothing happened. No flash of inspiration. Jo had asked me if I had read the cards. I went to get my bag and fished out one of the cards. Coming back, I tossed the card on my writing desk and sat down. The card had landed backward so the writing was upside down. I reached over and spun the card around to read it. As Jo had said, it read journalist extraordinaire. I read my name. It read Casey Jean Cummings. I remember Jo saying to have Casey tell C J what to write. I closed my eyes and listened. Within a few moments, I heard a voice. It was faint at first and slowly got louder. As I listened, I began to write. And did I ever write. It seemed the words would not stop. Page after page kept appearing on my computer screen. Almost by themselves. Maybe C J Cummings couldn’t put something down on paper but Casey Jean Cummings had a lot to say and wouldn’t be stopped. I wrote with a flair that had been missing since I started my assignment.

When I started this assignment, I wrote as C J. Further into the assignment, I began to write as Casey Jean. No wonder my writing seemed to be all over the place. I was writing either as C J or Casey Jean. I remembered what Jo had said, to have Casey tell C J what to write. I realized I am not either C J or Casey Jean. Society wants me to be one or the other. I am both! I am C J and Casey Jean! I am me.

I wrote for hours but I didn’t feel tired. I took a break when Amy called to tell me she had contacted Jo’s family and they were on their way to the hospital. Amy had spoken to Matt also. Matt said he had called but I hadn’t answered. I checked my missed calls. He had tried to call me when I was in the throes of writing.

Nearly twelve hours after I had started, I put the last period to the page. I read the title I had typed all those hours ago under which said, ‘Story by C J Cummings’. I emailed the articles to Jennifer. I was sure she would be pleased with the story as would management.

I stood up to relieve a cramp and realized I had spent the whole time in my party dress. I suddenly felt tired. I washed up, put on my pajamas and went to take a short nap. It was the best nap I have had in a while.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 25

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

chapter 25

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I woke up the next day feeling the best I had in a long time. I got dressed and went to the hospital to see Jo. She was awake and fiddling with something on an unappetizing-looking food tray. She appeared a bit better and only had one tube coming out of her arm. She looked up at me as I came in.

“What are you doing here? I told you not to come back until you finished your articles,” she said. She pushed something around on her tray.

“I finished. I sent them to my boss last night. Now it’s a waiting game. I did the best I could. It’s up to management.” She shook her head in approval.

“Thanks for being here when I woke up,” she said. “That meant a lot to me. Even if you wouldn’t shut up.”

“That’s what friends do. Even if you don’t like me presenting as a woman.” She laughed. “I should be thanking you,” I said. “You told me what I needed to hear.”

“Anything to get you to shut up.” She smiled. “You just needed to get your butt kicked.”

“Have they told you when you’re going to get out of here?”

“If I continue to improve, it could be by the weekend or the middle of next week.” She gave her food tray a shove. “If the food doesn’t get better, I’m planning on breaking out of here this weekend.”

I laughed. “ Don’t do that. When you get released, let me know, I can take off from work and get you home.”

“You’ll know before me. I’m sure your sister will tell you,” she said. “You don’t have to. Mom and my brothers are going to get me home." She sighed. “Mom is going to stay with me until I can do things for myself. She’s probably already staying at my place. Knowing her, she’s cleaning it as we speak and putting things away. I’m not going to be able to find anything when she leaves. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I’m off till Monday. Why?”

“I don’t want you taking off for me.”

I stayed until Jo’s family arrived. Jo’s mother thanked me for being there for her daughter. I left and went to get a late lunch.

~~0~~

I didn’t know if my assignment would be canceled or not. The decision was in the hands of upper management. I wasn’t sure which decision I wanted them to make. Before Christmas, I couldn’t wait to get back to being my old self, to being C J. Now I found I liked being Casey Jean. I realized the magazine’s decision had no bearing on if C J came back or not. That decision was solely in my hands.

The weekend came and went. Jo was still in the hospital come Monday morning. She was complaining when I spoke with her. I knew she was getting better. At work, Hannah and I talked about our respective New Year’s Eve parties. Kevin’s name came up when I told her he was the second person to ask me out for that night. I let her know I had not gone out with him. While nothing was said, I got the impression Kevin was not her favorite person.

The first week of the New Year was now history. I was still waiting for a decision. Not hearing from Jennifer about the assignment had me worried. It didn’t stop me from going out with Trevor on the weekends. It seemed like he was trying to make up for lost time. There were daily text messages, calls almost every other day and dates on the weekends. I was enjoying my time with him. He made me feel special. Like I was the only girl in the world. Of course, he thought I was a girl named Kenzie. I knew I needed to tell him I’m a guy before things went any further. For some reason, I felt I needed to tell Kevin also. I had taken some of his calls. I had not met with him. I made the decision to tell them both. I needed to tell someone else first.

~~0~~

“Hannah, are you free after work?” It was about an hour before quitting time.

“Sure. What do you have in mind?”

“There’s something I need to talk to you about. I’ll treat you to coffee or something.”

We took the walk to the nearest coffee shop and sat down after ordering and getting our drinks.

“Casey, if this is about the last painting I sold, I haven’t been paid yet. I know you told me to get the money first but it was a friend of my brother. It was for his girlfriend’s birthday. As soon as I get paid, I’ll give you your share.”

“Maybe you’ll listen to me next time.” I smiled. “It’s not about that. I’m not worried about being paid. This is more personal.”

“Oh God. You’re not sick are you?”

“Stop already. No, I’m not sick.” I paused. “God, how do I say this. I’m just gonna spit it out. Hannah, I’m not a woman, I’m a guy. There I said it.” She looked puzzled for a moment. “Sorry to just spring it on you like that. I’m working on a story for a magazine about society's pressures on women. I’m presenting as a woman for the story.” There was a shocked looked on her face as I continued to explain. When I finished, there was silence. It seemed like minutes before she finally spoke.

“You’re telling me you’re a guy? You’re not a woman, you’re really a guy. Holy…” There was a pause. Then without warning, she started laughing. It was not a reaction I was expecting.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it. Before I met Bart, I hadn’t had a guy in my apartment in a long time. And the first time I do, it’s a guy in a dress presenting as a woman.” She started laughing again.

“I’m glad you’re taking this so well. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Casey, Don’t take this the wrong way. You’re more of a woman than many women I know. You’ve got style. You’re sweet, sensitive and kind. You care about people and want to help them. I knew it was you who told the paper about the mandatory heel policy at the office.”

“I didn’t tell the paper. I told the magazine.” Now it was my turn to smile.

“Same difference. Let me tell you, for a guy, you look great in a dress. Why are you telling me now?”

“Because your my friend and I don’t want to deceive you any longer. Plus I need someone to talk with. I’ve been feeling guilty going out with guys. They think I’m a woman and I’m not comfortable deceiving them.”

“Yet you still go out with them.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t selfish. I’ve decided to tell anyone I go out with from now on.”

“Wait, you’re not going to tell Kevin are you?”

“Yes, I’m telling both Kevin and Trevor.”

“I don’t know Trevor, but telling Kevin you’re a guy, telling him he dated and kissed a guy, may not be the smartest thing to do.” Now it was my turn to look puzzled. “Look how he reacted to you being friends with a lesbian. Casey, tell him you don’t want to go out with him again. Tell him not to call. Tell him you can’t forgive him. He’ll be hurt but you won’t be. Don’t tell him you’re a guy. Promise me.”

“I should tell…”

“Promise me!”

“Alright, I promise but I’m not going to do it on the phone. It’s going to be in person.”

“I can’t talk sense into you. Let me know when and where you’re going to talk with him.”

“Fine, I’ll let you know. Are we good?”

“We’re good as gold girlfriend.”

~~0~~

Hannah had been right. Talking with Kevin in person was not such a good idea. I was glad I had given Hannah the information about my meeting. I began telling Kevin I couldn’t forgive him. I told him I didn’t want to go out and for him not to call. As Kevin got agitated, he began calling me names. I don’t know where Bart had been but he showed up and had to restrain Kevin. After quite a bit more name-calling, Kevin shook Bart off and left. I was glad I had taken Hannah’s advice. I don’t want to think what might have happened if I had told him I was a guy. As we watched Kevin leave, Bart asked if I was alright. I told him I was fine and thanked him before we left. Bart waited with me until my ride came.

~~~0~~~

Hannah ran over and hugged me almost knocking me down as I walked in the door at work the next day.

“How are you doing? Bart told me he had to restrain Kevin. Did you tell him you were a guy?”

“I promised you I wouldn’t tell him. I only told him I didn’t want to see him again.”

“I don’t want to think what could have happened if you told him. Bart and Kevin got into a fight outside. Kevin accused Bart of defending a lesbian-loving bitch. Bart wouldn’t tell me the names Kevin used. They’re no longer partners. Bart’s not unhappy with the change.”

“I have to thank you for having Bart there. Thank him again for me. I appreciate it.”

“We’re both your friends, Casey. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine thanks to friends like you and Bart.”

This Kevin incident had me wondering what was going to happen when I told Trevor.

~~0~~

It took me more than a week before I worked up the courage to tell Trevor I wanted to talk with him. I chose a Friday after work. We already had plans to go out on Saturday. If Trevor took my news badly, I’m sure that date wouldn’t happen. It was quite a warm day for January. I asked Trevor to meet me at the coffee kiosk at Dilworth Park. It was out in the open. It was also close to where he worked and not an unpleasant walk for me. I changed into my flats before leaving work.

Coming straight from work, I hadn’t changed my outfit. Since it was a Friday, I had on a navy pantsuit with a white silk top. I did freshen up my makeup before I left. Hannah said she would ask Bart to be in the area just in case. I thanked her and told her I didn’t think it was necessary.

I saw Trevor as he approached. He saw me sitting at my table and waved. I waved back. He was wearing his business suit and looked every bit as handsome as he had on New Year’s Eve. I didn’t know what was going to happen or how he would react to my news. All I knew is I wanted his arms around me. I wanted him to kiss me like he did at the party. This time I wouldn’t run away.

“Hi Kenzie,” he said. He surprised me with a small bouquet of flowers. I don’t know how I missed seeing them.

“Thanks for the flowers. They’re lovely.” I smelled their sweet perfume. He leaned down and kissed me.

“Let me get something to drink. I’ll be right back.” He left to get his drink. I could feel myself getting nervous. I almost got up and left. I could hear Abbey’s voice telling me she knew I would wimp out. I stayed seated to annoy the Abbey in my head. Trevor came back with his drink and sat down.

“Not that it matters, you know I love spending time with you, what’s so important it couldn’t wait for our date tomorrow?”

“I have to tell you something about me.”

“You’re not moving back to Australia are you?” he asked.

I smiled. “No, I’m not moving to Australia.” I paused. “I like you. I want to continue going out with you. You need to know something about me before we continue with this relationship.” I paused again and took a deep breath. “I’m not a woman. I’m a guy. My name is not Kenzie. I’m C J. I’m Abbey’s brother.” I took another breath to compose myself. “I know me telling you this might mean you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Just know, I never meant to deceive you. I don’t want to lose you. Please don’t hate me.” My emotions had built up. Tears started welling up and rolling down my face as I waited for the rejection I was sure would follow. I couldn’t read the look on Trevor’s face. It seemed like minutes before he moved. Finally, he lifted his cup and took a sip.

“You’re a guy. You’re C J, Abbey’s brother.” He paused. “Why the hell did it take so long? I was wondering when you were going to finally tell me.” He nonchalantly took another sip of his coffee.

Now I was startled. “What? You knew? How…?”

“C J, I suspected on that Halloween night I first met you. I was certain when I sat across you at the lunch table that week.”

“How did you know?”

“When I sat down, you looked up and your eyes got wide. I saw Kenzie’s eyes. I knew then.”

“You never said anything?”

“You obviously didn’t want anyone to know it was you at the Halloween party. I didn’t want to embarrass you by telling you I knew. I wanted to tell you every time I talked with you at lunch that year.”

“You’re right. I would have been very embarrassed.”

“I gave you an opportunity to tell me you know.”

“When?”

“Remember when I asked you to ask Kenzie if she would go to the prom with me? I was hoping you would be Kenzie one more time. I was asking you. I was going to tell you then. When you told me Kenzie couldn’t go, I decided it was best not to say anything. When I saw you at the Christmas party dressed as Kenzie, I took a chance. When you didn’t tell me you were C J, I went along. I wondered how long it would take you to tell me. If you hadn’t told me by the end of January, I was going to let you know I figured it out.”

I looked into those amazing eyes of his. “You still want to go out with me knowing I’m a guy?”

“I’ve wanted to go out with you since that Halloween night. Do you want to go out with me knowing I’ve wanted to go out with a guy?”

“As long as I’m the only guy you go out with from now on.” I smiled. I took a tissue out of my bag and dabbed my face to dry my tears.

“Your wish is my command,” he said. He leaned over and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck and returned the kiss. With all my guilt gone, it was magical.

“C J, since…”

“Trevor, it’s Casey Jean now.” He smiled.

“Well, Casey Jean, since we’re together tonight, how about we go to dinner. I know a nice restaurant not far from here. I think we’re dressed for it. We should be able to get a table, I’ll try not to call you Kenzie tonight.”

I got my bag as I got up and happened to look around. I saw Bart watching us. I smiled and he shook his head. Trevor and I left for dinner.

~~0~~

His choice of restaurants was great. Dinner was fabulous and so was the company. No more fear of discovery. No more guilt. We walked around after dinner and eventually took a horse and buggy ride. We finally took a cab to my apartment.

“It’s been a fun night,” I said. “Let’s do it again tomorrow.”

“You’re going to get tired of me,” he said.

“I’ll never tire of you,” I said. I reached up, we kissed. I ran my fingers along the line of buttons on his shirt and looked up at him. “Um… would you like to come up? I’ll make you a latte. I have a fantastic latte machine.”

“I could go for a homemade latte.” I kissed him again. Arm in arm we entered my building.

“Miss Cummings, I haven’t had a chance to ask you about your friend since New Year’s. How’s she doing?”

“She’s doing fine and is home now.” I went behind the desk and gave a startled Henry a hug. “Thank you so much for getting me to the hospital that night.”

“I was glad to help,” he said. Henry then looked at Trevor. “Who’s your friend?” I went back to Trevor.

“Trevor, this is Henry. Henry, Trevor, my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend you say.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Trevor said.

They shook hands. Henry held on as he looked over Trevor. “You seem like a nice young man. Let me give you some advice. You treat our Miss Cummings here as nice as you can. She is one special young lady.”

“I totally agree with you sir.” Henry finally let go of Trevor’s hand.

“Have a good night, Henry,” I said.

“Same to you, Miss Cummings. You too young Trevor.”

We got up to my apartment. I never made the lattes.

~~0~~

I told Abbey all about my evening with Trevor. She pressed me for all the details.

“You little scamp you. I didn’t know you had it in you.” We both laughed. “Have you heard from the magazine?”

“No. That’s got me worried. They were pretty determined to shut down the assignment. I’m hoping my re-written article will have changed their minds.”

“So now you want to present as a woman until your assignment is over. You almost self-sabotaged the project because you didn’t want to present as a woman.”

“It wasn’t intentional. I want the assignment to continue because I want the feature story and the by-line.”

“Still using that as an excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse.”

“Casey, admit it, you like presenting as a woman. I could see it when you started dating Kevin. I see it now with you and Trevor. I think you would be hard-pressed to go back to being C J. You have to decide what you are going to do sooner or later.”

“I’m not making any decision until I hear if the assignment is still a go.”

“I don’t think you should let the magazine’s decision make your decision for you. You should do what you want to do.”

“Now you sound like mom.”

“She’s usually right. Hey, we should double,” Abbey said. “We can dress alike and see if the guys can tell us apart.”

We laughed. I knew Trevor would always be able to tell.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

---

Byline chapter 26

---

---

Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

chapter 26

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It was the last week of January and I was still waiting to hear from Jennifer and the magazine. Trevor has been my rock while I’ve been waiting to hear if I continue the assignment. Trevor and I were sitting on the couch in my apartment.

“I still haven’t heard from Jennifer,” I said. “I think that’s a bad sign.”

“Why are you so worried? You’ll still have a job if they cancel the assignment, right?”

“I suppose,” I said. I sighed. “I’ll be letting a lot of people down. I will have to give up this apartment.”

“That’s not a problem. You have a place to live,” he said. He began stroking my hair.

“I know. I still have my old apartment. Abbey’s still there. I guess we’ll just live together until the wedding.”

“I mean you have a place to live with me,” he said.

I looked up into those blue eyes of his. “Why Mr. Wilkes, are you asking me to move in with you?”

“It sure sounded like it,” he said. I smiled at him.

“I think that is rushing things but thank you. Where I live is not what’s bothering me.”

“Then what is?”

I sighed. “It’s me. I started presenting as a woman because of the article. A feature article with my byline. That all goes away if it’s canceled. Maybe I do also.”

“You’re not making any sense. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Do you like me this way?”

He sat up and looked at me. “Of course I do. Who wouldn’t like to have someone as beautiful as you?”

“What if I stopped presenting as a woman and had my implants removed? Would I still be beautiful to you?” He put his finger under my chin and gently lifted my head and looked into my eyes.

“I fell in love with who you are on the inside not how you present on the outside. If you want to go back to being C J or stay as Casey or even Kenzie, it’s all fine with me. If you want to stay male and continue to present as a woman or have surgery, you are still you. Whatever you decide to do, don’t do it for me. Any decision you make has to be what you want.”

“Now you sound like my mother.”

“She must be very wise.”

“I’m sure I’m going to have my implants removed as soon as the assignment is over.”

“Then I better take advantage of them while I can.”

I don’t think Trevor will ever stop teasing me about Kenzie. Maybe I’ll learn an Australian accent. I have realized the magazine’s decision to cancel or not cancel the assignment should not have any bearing on what I am going to do. I know if the magazine says to continue with the assignment, I continue presenting as a woman. If the assignment is canceled, I can have these implants removed. I can go back to being C J. But I don’t have to stop presenting as a woman. It’s funny how things change. Before all this started, I did all I could do to be seen as a man. Now I’m doing everything I can to be seen as a woman. I want people to see me as a woman and maybe not because of the article. I believe society's pressures make it a lot of work to be a woman. I’m willing to put in the work just like almost all women. I wonder if Abbey is right. Will it be hard for me to go back to being C J?

~~0~~

I took the weekend to go see mom. I didn’t tell Abbey I was going. Trevor had plans to spend some time with his friends. He said he would cancel and come with me. I convinced him to go see his friends. I wanted to see mom by myself.

“Any trouble getting here?” Mom asked as I walked in and took off my coat.

“No problems. Traffic was light,” I said. We hugged.

“Come to the kitchen. I made iced tea.” I walked to the kitchen past all the pictures mom had of me and Abbey as kids, of high school and college graduations. I saw my old self in each one. It came to me. That was my old self. This is my new self. Either way, they are both me. When I got to the kitchen, mom poured me a glass of iced tea then began pouring one for herself. I watched as the beads of condensation on my glass raced down the outside of the glass. Mom sat down and took a sip of her drink. “Have you heard from the magazine yet?”

“No. I’m a bit worried. The longer it takes the more I’m guessing they are going to cancel.”

“Would it be so bad if they did?” she asked.

“It would mean I failed my assignment. They won’t publish my article. Cindy would be disappointed since it was her idea. Jennifer will be disappointed too. Plus I won’t get my feature story and my byline.”

“Ah, so you feel like you would be letting people down.” She folded her hands on the table. “Casey, how have you felt about the time spent on this article? I mean all of it, from the beginning.”

“I don’t know,” I said. I wracked my brain trying to put my feelings into words. “I was excited to get offered the assignment. I wasn’t happy about getting the breast implants. I didn’t like the training. I even fought it at times. I didn’t like having to be a waitress. I didn’t like having to look attractive because it’s what’s expected.” I took a breath. “But I do like not having people look at me funny. I like being accepted. I liked the attention of Dave and even Kevin for a while. I like the attention from Trevor. I liked being accepted by the girls at the Christmas party. I like getting dressed up and getting pampered at the salon.”

“Are you afraid that if the assignment is canceled you’ll be giving up all the things you liked?”

I sat there as mom took another sip of her tea. “Maybe. I do realize I don’t have to give any of it up. I can continue to present as a woman without the assignment.”

“Are you thinking of doing so for Trevor?”

I looked into her eyes. “No, Trevor said he doesn’t care if I stay as Casey or go back to being C J.

“So what’s the problem?”

I sat back in my chair and felt my shoulders drop. “I really don’t know. Can you help?”

“First and foremost, you are my child. I don’t care if you’re straight, gay or bi. I don’t care if you present as a woman or a man. I don’t care if you decide you want to transition. I’ve said this before. Whatever you decide, It must be because it’s what you want to do. Don’t do anything because you think it’s something someone else wants.”

“I want you to be happy. Right now, despite your indecision, this is the happiest I have ever seen my Casey. The moody, lonely high school kid has been replaced with a happy, friendly and confident young adult who is no longer hiding and wants to be seen. I won’t help you make a decision. Just make sure it’s your decision.”

“Thanks, mom,” I said.

We hugged. Trevor was right. My mom is wise.

~~0~~

While waiting for the magazine to answer, I’ve been going to work every day manning my post at the reception desk. Hannah and I had an unspoken signal. She was aware of what was going on. I would walk in the door and Hannah would give me a questioning look. I would give a slight shake of my head and we would carry on with our day without another word being said.

It was the last Friday in January. I had gotten back from lunch and heard my phone. I looked at my phone’s display and saw it was Jennifer. I looked over at Hannah, her eyes asking the question. I shook my head yes. “Go take the call in the conference room. No one’s going to be using it this afternoon,” she said. I rushed down the hall while answering the call.

“Hi, Jennifer.”

“Casey, I’m glad I got you. I wanted you to hear this from me. We’ve made a decision on your assignment.” My heart sank. It had to be bad news. “It was quite a meeting. There were a lot of discussions all around the table. There was the cost of the project to consider. Plus the opinion that you didn’t seem to be fully invested in the assignment. All aspects were discussed. I was in your corner. I still believe you can finish the assignment. But in the end, it came down to the articles.

“You know I was very disappointed in your original articles. They didn’t seem to be up to your usual work. I knew you could do better. We all had read your re-written articles. I don’t know what you did but the re-written articles were far beyond what I expected. Everyone agreed. The assignment is worth continuing. I’ll be sending you comments on the articles. I’ll tell you, they don’t need much work.”

I did a fist pump. “That’s great! Thank you, Jennifer.”

“You do know what that means, right? You’ll be presenting as a woman until the end of the assignment.”

“That won’t be a problem. I can do this for another 5 months.”

“There might be a problem then.”

“What problem? I thought you said the assignment was not canceled?”

“I did. What I didn’t tell you is they want to extend the project. The new end date is February of next year. The feeling in the discussions was it has taken you this long to be able to begin to feel society’s feelings toward and pressures on women. They want you to write about the full year. You still good?”

I smiled. “The new end date won’t be a problem,” I said.

“Great, keep up the good work on those articles and keep sending them in.”

I held onto the phone after disconnecting. The assignment has been approved, with an extension. I was happy. I get to finish the assignment. I get to have a feature story printed with my byline. But more importantly, I get to keep presenting as a woman. How things turn around. Last year, I hated when people mistook me for a woman. I boiled inside wondering what’s wrong with them. Today, I’m happy to learn I am going to present as a woman for a while longer. I’m going to be presenting as a woman when Abbey gets married. She’ll have her sister there for her wedding. I wonder if she has told Gil about me.

I went back to the desk. Hannah gave me that questioning look. This time I answered. “They approved!”

“That’s great,” she said. We hugged.

“Would you cover for me while I make some calls?” I asked.

I began calling people starting with Trevor.

~~0~~

“Hi, Casey.” This was the phone call I had been waiting for. My time presenting as a woman was coming to an end. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter just flew by. It was only weeks ago I was celebrating my second Christmas as a woman. Midnight on New Year’s Eve found me kissing Trevor without running away. I have had a lot of time to think during the past year.

“I’m making it official,” Jennifer said. “Your assignment is over. It’s going to be one heck of an article.”

“Thanks. It’s been an interesting year and a half,” I said.”

“I’m sure it has. You’ve been given a month off, with pay of course. You’ll need to be out of the apartment by then. I think that should be plenty of time to recover.”

“Recover from what?”

“From your year as a woman and the implant removal surgery. We’ve scheduled some dates with the clinic. So give them a call and pick a date that works for you. They’re expecting your call. If you want to give your job two weeks’ notice, we’re prepared to give you an extra two weeks off. I think I know you so I already put in for the six weeks.”

“Thanks, Jennifer. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Keep writing the way you have been. That’s all the thanks I need.”

Our call disconnected. So this was it. I’ll hand in my two weeks’ notice today. After that, I no longer have to present as a woman. I let that sink in. Soon Casey will be gone and C J will return. That thought felt weird. It felt like Casey was dying. That’s silly. No matter what, I’ll still be Casey. I won’t have to get any more mani-pedis, get my hair done, wear skirts or dresses, no more high heels and no more bra. I’ll be back to androgynous C J. Back to being ignored. Back to getting the confused looks when people try to decide if I’m a man or a woman. Back to being a square peg on a board full of round holes. I brought my hand up to cup my breast. I can have the implants removed. I hated these breasts when Abbey gave them to me. Somehow they became a part of me. They had defined me as a woman as soon as I left the clinic. People saw me and put me in that round hole on the board. Now, I can set a date and have the implants removed. I picked up the phone and dialed the clinic.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Byline chapter 27 Final

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Copyright © 2021 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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chapter 27 Final

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“That’s it? You’re done?” Abbey asked. We were sitting in my old apartment. The apartment Abbey had been living in for the past year or so. Abbey had just gotten home from work and was still in her nurse's uniform. I had taken the day off and was wearing a pair of tight jeans, a sleeveless crop top and flats.

“Yeah. I still have two weeks of my current job. Then I get four weeks off. After that, I go back to the magazine.”

“You’re getting six weeks off and getting paid?”

“Yep.”

“Can’t beat that. What about your apartment?”

“I have to be out of there by the end of next month.”

“Oh. What are you going to do?”

“I’ll move back here.”

“Oh.” She sounded concerned.

“Hey, I’m not kicking you out. You can still stay here. Stay as long as you like. There is no reason for you to leave. Until you’re married that is.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. You are going to have to start paying half the rent.”

“I knew there was a catch.” She smiled. “Are you going to be okay with me bringing Gil here?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Are you going to be okay with me bringing Trevor here?”

“I’ll deal with it,” She said. We both laughed.

She paused for a second and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Um, what are you going to do…?”

“I said, I’ll move back here and...”

“No, that’s not what I was asking. What are you going to do… you know… about you?”

“I’ve given that a lot of thought and…”

“Wait. Before you tell me, I want to say something. First, I love you. You know that. Casey, this experience… I’ve seen you blossom. You have become a very confident person. You’ve become more outgoing. You’ve helped people. You’ve come alive. I’ve spoken with mom and she feels the same way.”

“I know. I’ve spoken with mom also. The two of you have helped me more than you know. It’s also great to know that I have both of your love no matter what I decide to do.”

“Oh, come here.” Abbey stretched out her arms and we both hugged. “I’ll love you whether you’re my brother or my sister. If you have made a decision, I’m ready to hear it.”

“As I started to say, I’ve given this quite a bit of thought.” I paused to collect my thoughts. “During my assignment, I have been looking forward to going back to being C J. It was like I was either C J or Casey Jean. I think that was the way I was writing. That’s why my articles were all over the place with no conviction. Sometimes I was writing as C J. Sometimes I was writing as Casey Jean. I finally realized it’s not a matter of being either C J or Casey. I am C J. I am Casey Jean. C J and Casey Jean are not two separate people. They are me. I am C J and Casey Jean. No matter how I decide to present, I am me. So I made my decision.” I paused again. This time just to make her wait. “I called the clinic… I canceled the surgery.”

“You canceled the…wait, does that mean…?”

“I’ve decided to permanently present as a woman.”

Abbey gave out a squeal. “I get to keep my sister!” She said as she happily stamped her feet. She came over and we hugged again.

“I’ve not decided if I’m going to transition. I’m seeing a doctor next week and will discuss things,” I said. “I know I have to present as a woman for at least a year. I’m not sure if my time as a woman so far would count. At least I won’t need breast surgery.”

“You know you love them,” Abbey said.

I brought my hand up until it was touching my breast. I let it linger there a moment. “You’re right. I do.”

“You are going to look so good in your bridesmaid dress.”

We both laughed.

“Okay, now that we got that out of the way, I came over for a reason. I need a favor. I need to borrow a suitcase or two.”

“Sure. Are you going somewhere?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I paused. Seeing the look of bewilderment on her face I finally said, “I told you I have to be out of the company apartment.”

“Okay?” she said.

“I get to keep my wardrobe.” Abbey’s eyes got wide.

“Oh my God! Everything?”

“Yes, Everything,” I said.

“You have to let me borrow some of your dresses and those 5-inch heels!”

I laughed. “Of course! What are sisters for?”

“When do you need them? I’ll help you pack.”

~~0~~

“How are the wedding plans going?” I asked Hannah. Calling Hannah was always a good part of my week. Shortly after I got the decision on my assignment, I had to leave the agency to take another job. Hannah and I had kept in contact. After all, I was still her business partner. Her relationship with Bart had blossomed and Bart had proposed to her at Christmas. I think she had said yes before he finished proposing.

“There’s so much to do and the date’s not even close.”

“So you picked a date already?”

“Can’t waste any time if you want to get the venue you want.” There was a pause at the other end of the line. “Casey, I know your assignment is over. You won’t be presenting as a woman when my wedding comes around. Crap, I don’t know how to ask this. Would you please be in my wedding? The only problem is, I want you as one of my bridesmaids. If I didn’t have any sisters, you’d be my first choice for maid of honor. I know it’s a lot to ask but I want you there. Please say you will.”

I smiled. I hadn’t told Hannah my decision yet. “You have no need to worry Hannah. I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it. Now, I have something I need to tell you.”

~~0~~

I’ve been back at my job at the magazine. It felt good to be back at my desk again. Cindy came over and dropped a couple of copies of the yet-to-be-released magazine on my desk. I looked up and saw her smile.

“I thought you’d like some copies,” she said.

“Thanks,” I said. She smiled and walked back to her office, I Picked up one of the magazines. I opened and paged to the feature story with my byline. I smiled. For the next couple of issues, I would be reliving my assignment as a woman. I sat there paging through my article. As I crossed my legs, my high heel shoe dangled supported by my toes. I put the opened magazine on my desk. I was happy with my decision. I had done what I wanted to do. I thought of Abbey. While her brother wasn’t gone, she now had a permanent sister. She is thrilled. Especially since she can wear some of the clothes the magazine had bought for me. Mom’s happy also. She finally told me she thought I made the right decision. She made sure the decision was something I wanted. She is still getting used to having two daughters. I’m sure she wonders how she was going to be able to handle both of us. And of course, Trevor is also happy. He had said nothing would change between us even if I had decided to go back to presenting as a male. I’d like to think he’s happier with the decision I made. I know I am.

No one here at the magazine has had any problem with me presenting as a woman. They haven’t seen me for over a year. Now I come to work in a top and skirt or a dress. I think some people thought I was a woman to begin with and I had decided to no longer come to work in men’s clothing. I closed the magazine just as Jim from purchasing walked over to my desk.

“Um, Hey C J, I mean Casey. How’s your day going?”

“It’s going good, Jim. How about yours?”

“It’s been a bit busy but good. Look, I’m not being tricked into coming over to you this time. I know you’ve told me you’re a guy… I mean I know you’re a guy. But I’d like to know… um…” He was stumbling for words.

“Yes?”

“Would you be able to…? I mean I’d like to… I mean would you like to go to lunch today?”

“Are you sure you want to go to lunch with me? Like you’ve said, I am still a guy.”

“You sure don’t look like a guy,” he said. “I mean… sorry. Yes, I’d still like to go to lunch. I mean, it’s just lunch, right? If you want to, that is.”

“Jim, you know I have a boyfriend.”

“I know, I’ve heard. I’m not asking to go out with you on a date or anything. I have some questions. We can go as friends. It’s only lunch.”

I smiled. “Sure Jim. What time?”

“Is twelve-thirty good for you?”

“That’ll work. See you at twelve-thirty!”

I watched as a happy Jim left my desk.

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I hope everyone has enjoyed reading Casey’s story.
I also want to thank everyone for reading. I have enjoyed reading your comments more than you will know. Thank you for the helpful advice, encouragement and suggestions.

Peregrine
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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits
Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels
Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels
Photo Composite by Peregrine

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Silver Bell Wish 2
by Peregrine

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Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Chapter 2

Fashion Show
‘He hated admitting it, but he almost looked as good as the girls in their costumes. With a shrug of his shoulders, he went to show his sister his costume.’

Rain started his walk to Renee’s room. The shoes took a few steps to get used to, but were easy to walk in. The heels on the shoes were low, and he wondered how girls walked in higher heels. Renee turned as she heard Rian at her door. Her eyes got big.

“Oh, my God! You look so cute. Turn around. Let me see.” Rian did as instructed. “How can you not want to wear this for the play? You look adorable.”

“It’s a girl’s costume, that’s why.”

“Then you should have been a girl. You have to wear it in the play. Please, you gotta.”

“I don’t think I can pass as a girl.”

Renee shook her head. “Did you look at yourself? I know what will help.” She went over to her makeup table. “Sit here.”

“Really, Renee. We don’t need to do that.”

“Please. I bet I can make you look like a girl. I want to see if I can do it. Please.” She saw her brother’s indecision. “Just so you can wear that costume.”

This was the most excited Rian had seen his sister in a long while. He reluctantly sat down, and Renee began working her magic. She was very good with makeup and was thinking of going to cosmetology school when she graduated from high school. It didn’t take Renee long to finish after Rian sat down. When done, she stepped back.

“There, no one would doubt you were a girl! Now all you have to do is act the part,” she said. “Look.” When Rian turned to the mirror, he couldn’t believe the reflection staring back at him. He saw a good-looking girl in an elf costume. The elf was kind of cute. He was still admiring his reflection when their mother came to the door.

“Dinner will be ready soon. How do you feel Renee? Do you think you can eat?” She paused when she saw her son. “Rian? Oh, my.”

He turned to his mother. “What do you think?”

“That costume is so cute on you.”

“That’s what I told him,” Renee chimed in.

“And the makeup is just right. Very nice job Renee. I'm assuming you did your brother’s makeup.”

“Of course I did, Mom. Thanks. But something is missing.”

“I know,” said their mother. “Wait here.”

“Like I’m going anywhere like this.”

“You’re going to go to dress rehearsal like this.”

“No, I’ll change there.”

“Who’ll do your makeup? You don’t know how to do it?”

"I'll figure something out."

Their mother came back with two breast forms in her hand. "Take off the vest and the top."

"But..."

"Yes, we will see your bra. It’s just us girls here." Renee giggled at her mother’s comment.

Rian did as instructed and their mother put the forms into the cups of Rian's bra. She adjusted the bra straps. “There, that's much better. They appear more flattering on you than they did on your grandmother. Put your top and vest back on.”

Rian noticed the top fit better as he finished dressing.

“Now let me do something quick with your hair,” she said, picking up a brush. “Now you look like a proper lady elf. Let me snap a few pictures.” She got her phone and took more than a few pictures. Renee did the same.

“Come on guys, enough already.”

“I guess that’s enough for now. I’ll get more at the play.” Rian groaned.

“Does Alex know about your costume?” asked Renee.

“Yeah. I stopped to see her on the way home.”

“I have to send her a picture.” Rian groaned again as Renee’s fingers typed on her phone.

“I came to tell you dinner is ready. Renee, eat whatever you feel you can. Make sure you drink the protein drink if you can’t eat much. Your father will be home late, so put the leftovers away. I’ve got the late shift at the hospital. I’ll see you both tomorrow. Don't forget to take your nighttime medicine.” Beth said as she left for work.

“Let me change and we can go to the kitchen and eat,” said Rian.

“Why do you have to change?”

“I can’t chance getting food on my costume.”

Renee went over to her closet. “Here, you can wear this.”

“Why would I wear this?” said Rian as he looked at the romper with a blue flower print his sister handed him.

“You can step into it instead of pulling it down over your head. This way, you won’t ruin your makeup.”

“I’m taking off the makeup.”

“But it will take you too long to remove the makeup. I did a good job too. Don’t take it off yet.”

Rian sighed. “Do you promise you will eat?”

“I’ll eat as much as I can.”

“Let me change and put this romper thing on and then we go down together.”

“And I can have a big sister for the night.”

~~0~~

Rian and Renee found the casserole their mother had made for dinner. Rian put on an apron to cover the romper. His sister got the plates while he took the casserole out of the oven. Rian looked at his sister as he served the food.

“You must like this casserole. You look happy.”

“It’s not the casserole, silly. I’m happy I have a sister for a while,” said Renee as she picked up a fork full of food.

“You don’t like your big brother?”

“Of course I do,” she said as she moved food around on her plate. “I’ve wondered what it would be like to have a sister. Someone to talk to about clothes, makeup, and boys.”

“It’s me who would ask you about that stuff… except the boy’s part.”

Renee laughed.

“How about I be your sister tonight until you go to bed?”

“Really!”

“Really. Maybe you can teach me how to do the makeup so I can do it while at the theater.”

“Deal!”

Brother and sister cleaned up after dinner. Back in Renee’s room, Rian found himself applying makeup several times under the guidance of his sister.

“That was better than the last time. You’re picking this up fast.”

“I have an outstanding teacher. I think I can do it for the rehearsal tomorrow. Thank you, Renee.”

“You’re welcome. It’s been fun. I enjoyed having a big sister tonight.” Renee gave Rian a hug, then looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. “Do you think she could show up another night?”

“You never know. Anything is possible.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Get yourself ready for bed. I’ll get your meds.”

Renee took her meds and said goodnight. Rian turned out the light and went to the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. ‘With this makeup, I could be her sister.’ He turned to leave when his father walked past the door.

“I didn’t hear you come in, Dad.” His father smiled at his son.

“What did your sister do to convince you to dress up?”

“She wanted to see me in my costume. Then she wanted to do my makeup. Since I didn’t want to wear my costume while eating, she gave me this to wear.”

Scott chuckled. “It looks good on you.”

“After dinner, she showed me how to do the makeup. She’s very good at it and a good teacher.”

His father smiled. “She certainly is. You’re a good brother, Rian.”

Rian looked up at his father. “Is she going to be alright, Dad?” he said, lowering his voice.

His father sighed. “I don’t know, son. She’s doing fine now, but the doctors are concerned it will come back. But they’re hopeful. We’ll have a better idea after we get the results of her PET scan. But now, I’m sure you want to get yourself cleaned up. I’m going to watch a little TV.”

~~0~~

Rian finished taking off the makeup and the romper. He took off the undergarments and put on a pair of boxers. His phone rang and checking it, he saw it was Alex. “Hi, Alex.”

“Sorry, I’m calling so late. I just left work.”

“Did something happen?”

“The normal shit. Someone called out. I stayed around to help. I got the picture your sister sent me. You look adorable in your costume. Did Renee do your makeup?”

“Do you think I could have done that? She taught me how to do it after dinner.”

“You stayed in costume until after dinner?”

“No, she gave me one of her rompers to wear while we ate.” Rian heard Alex giggle.

“You wore one of her rompers and she didn’t send me a picture? Tell her I’m disappointed.” Alex paused before continuing. “How is she doing?”

“She seems to be doing good. She ate most of her dinner. I don’t know if she was feeling better or if it was because I made her promise to eat if I was her sister during dinner.”

“You’re a good sister, Rian,” said Alex, then giggled again.

“Ha ha, hilarious. I have to wear this costume until Christmas. Can we ease up on the jokes?”

“I’ll try,” said Alex. “Now I know what to get you for Christmas. I saw a cute pair of earrings…” The giggling continued.

“Goodbye, Alex. Have a good night.”

“Don’t be mad. I was only teasing.”

“I know you were. But I think that’s what I’ll be hearing all week from the guys until the end of the play. Maybe even after the play.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior. Have a good night. Tell Renee that I want a picture the next time you’re her sister.”

“Good night, Alex.”

“Nite, Rian. Love ya.”

“Love ya, too.”

~~0~~

Rian went to the early morning dress rehearsal with his costume and a makeup bag his sister gave him. She convinced him to wear the undergarments she gave him and black pantyhose to rehearsal so he wouldn’t have to put them on in the dressing room. Thinking about it, he agreed. The guys might see him put on a skirt, but they wouldn’t see him put on panties and a bra.

He arrived in plenty of time and found Professor Atwood talking to someone from the stage crew.

“Professor Atwood, where should I change?”

“The dressing room. Why would you ask…” She saw it was Rian. “You’ll have to use the men’s dressing room for now.”

“But…”

“That’s the best I can do.”

Rian sighed as he entered the men’s dressing room and looked around for a somewhat secluded spot to change. He knew the good-natured ribbing would begin once he was in costume. Not finding a suitable spot, he used one of the restroom stalls to change. Removing his shirt, he slid the white top over his head. The green vest was next. Slipping off his pants, he pulled up the red skirt. With everything situated, he opened the stall door and stepped out just as Carlos walked in.

“Ho, ho, ho, you’re in the wrong room, little elf. The lady’s dressing room is across the hall.”

“No, Carlos, I’m not. It’s Rian. Professor Atwood said I had to use the men’s dressing room to change.”

“Rian? Holy shit! Is that really you?” said a startled Carlos.

“Yeah. You heard they ordered the wrong costume for me, didn’t you?”

“I haven’t been paying much attention. Damn, you look good! Has anyone seen you yet?”

“You’re the first.” Rian headed for the door.

“Get ready for some razzing when you go out there, buddy. Damn, I can’t believe you look so good. Do you have makeup on?”

“No, not yet.”

“Damn!”

As Rian walked through the door, the chatter in the room slowly died down as the cast members saw him. Taking his seat, Rian broke the ice.

“Yes, it’s me, guys. They screwed up my costume.” He sat down and pulled on his leg warmers.

The chatter in the room picked up again, all of it about him. Good-natured bantering lasted the whole time he did his makeup. It frustrated Rian, as the guys wouldn’t let up. He put on his shoes, got up, and walked to the door, where he stopped, turned his head, and kicked up his left foot behind him before walking out. This caused the guys to erupt as the door closed. Rian walked backstage. He was determined to let the comments roll off his back. Still, he wondered how he was going to get through the play.

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 3
by Peregrine

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Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Chapter 3

Rehearsal

'He was determined to let the comments roll off his back. Still, he wondered how he was going to get through the play.'

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Rian approached the group of elves, who were standing together and talking. One by one, they recognized the new elf. They turned to him and began making a fuss.

“Oh, my God! Rian! Look at you! I can’t believe it,” said Tammy.

“I heard they messed up your costume. You look great,” said Amelia. “That costume fits you like a glove. You look better than Ellie.”

“That’s because they got my top size wrong,” said Ellery. “This top is too tight.” She squirmed, attempting to adjust her top.

“With your bust, any top would be too tight,” said Kimber. “God knows you’ve worn tight tops before.”

“I can’t help it if the universe was more generous to me,” said Ellery. “Are they real, Rian?” She said, pointing to his chest.

“No, Ellie. They’re not real,” said Rian, not believing she asked that question.

“Well, you never know. Seriously, Rian, you look good. The costume suits you somehow.”

“Thanks, just what I wanted to hear,” said Rian sarcastically.

“You’re wearing black stockings! That’s a great idea,” said Amelia. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“It was my sister’s idea.”

“Did she help with your makeup?” asked Tammy.

“She did. She taught me last night so I could do it myself. I hope I did it right.”

“Are you kidding? You look great! You’ll have to show us what you did.”

The five Elves were still talking when they heard Professor Atwood as she started rehearsal.

“Everybody, we have a busy schedule and need to get started.” She looked at the five Elves. “Come on, girls. Get ready for the first scene.”

The girls started laughing as they took their positions. Rian shook his head. Professor Atwood watched the girls take their places and noticed Rian.

“Sorry, Rian. But you look very convincing. I told you that you could pull it off.” She went to sit in the audience. “Alright, people. First dress rehearsal of the day. Lights! Action!” Rian took his spot on stage with the rest of the elves.

Rian thought his costume would be a distraction for him while he was acting. As the rehearsal went on, he began thinking less about his costume and focused on his acting. When the first rehearsal was over, Rian had almost forgotten he was wearing a skirt. Of course, some guys teased him about it during lunch.

~~0~~

Professor Atwood was pleased with how well the rehearsal was going when it came time for lunch. After the cast ate the pizza and soda provided, Professor Atwood wasted little time in getting the second half of rehearsal going. When it was over, a tired cast was congratulating each other.

“Listen up, everyone. I have an announcement.” Everyone quickly settled down. “We will have our dress rehearsal tomorrow at the Children’s Hospital. Be there at nine A.M. for blocking. The hospital stage is a bit different from ours. Any of the kids who are at the hospital will attend the dress rehearsal. So be prepared for an audience. After the show, they are asking for Santa and the elves to do a meet and greet. Before the show, they would like the elves to visit the rooms of the inpatient children. Some of them may not be able to attend the show. So get home, rest up, and I’ll see you all at the hospital tomorrow morning. Good job today, people.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” said Rian.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” said Kimber.

“Funny,” said Rian. “I have to do the meet and greet and visit the kids in my costume.”

“What’s wrong with that?” asked Tammy.

Rian stood up and brought his hands from his shoulders to his hips, outlining his body.

“Oh, right… your costume.”

“Are you still griping about the costume?” said Ellery. “We’re wearing the same costume.”

“But you four are girls.”

“Just get over it,” said Ellery. “The way you look and the way you acted, I don’t think anyone would believe you aren’t a girl.”

“You mean he’s not?” commented Kimber, smiling. Rian tried to stare daggers at her.

“Look, the kids will be excited to meet the Elf who saved Christmas.”

“I guess,” said Rian. He reached through his top and adjusted his bra strap. “This bra is so uncomfortable; and these shoes! My feet are killing me and these are what, one-inch heels? How do girls walk in three or four-inch heels?”

“It takes practice,” said Amelia. “We’ve been doing it all our lives.”

“You know the old saying,” said Ellery. “Beauty is pain. And I’m damn gorgeous!”

The others giggled, looking at her. “What?”

“I think you’re doing great, Rian,” said Kimber. “Look on the bright side. Today and tomorrow will be your worst days, having to stay in costume almost all day. After that, it will only be during the shows.”

“You’re right. Thanks.”

~~0~~

Rian arrived at the hospital wearing a new bra, panties, and pantyhose. When he got home last night, he found the packages on his bed along with two bras. A note from his mother said she got them for him so he could have clean underwear. He made a mental note to thank her.

The stage was not in the hospital, but was in the Davenport Pavilion, one of the building surrounding the hospital. They had set rooms on the right and left of the auditorium entrance up for the actors to change. The restrooms were along the left outside wall. If Rian wanted to change inside a stall again, he would have to do so in the public restroom. Coming out of the men’s room could be a problem. He sighed and went to the men’s dressing room to change. Of course, as he stripped to put his top on, there were comments from his cast mates. Thankfully, he could pull on the skirt without first removing his pants.

“Did you shave your legs last night, Rian?” came a comment from Jordan, who was leading the verbal barrage. Rian had taken it all in fun but finally had enough.

“Hey, Jordan. Better get ready to shave your legs. I feel a cold coming on and you’re my understudy. Cough…cough...” Everyone laughed except Jordan. Rian finished his makeup and left the dressing room. He didn’t see Jordan making a phone call.

The blocking went smoothly and finished early. The elves were led outside the pavilion to the hospital cafeteria. It was the first time Rian had been outside in his costume. The hospital provided lunch for them before making the room visits. As they were led through the halls, people were smiling and waving at the elves. In the Christmas spirit, the elves waved and smiled back. They would occasionally give out the small candy canes provided by the hospital and wished people Merry Christmas. Even though he had been wearing his costume for what felt like two days straight, he felt self-conscious walking with the girls to the inpatient floors. It was especially bothersome when the girls walked in front of him. He saw their hair swinging back and forth, and their skirts swishing around their thighs. He realized that must be how he looked.

His self-consciousness vanished when they got to the first room. He somehow got to the front and went into the room first. The young girl looked over as the door opened. Her face lit up in amazement as the five elves entered the room. She smiled and laughed as the elves talked with her.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” asked Rian.

“I’m Ellen.”

“Hi, Ellen. I’m Rian. That’s Amelia, Kimber, Ellery, and Tammy.” Each elf waved as Rian said her name.

Ellen gave Rian a strange look. “How come you have normal names?” The elves shared a giggle.

“What names do you think we should have?”

“Elf names.” Ellen scrunched up her face as if she was thinking very hard. “Maybe Holly, Snowflake, Noel, and Tinsel,” she said, pointing to the girls standing behind Rian. The girls giggled as Ellen renamed them.

“Those are wonderful names. Don’t I get one?”

Ellen looked thoughtfully at Rian. “No, your name is okay. I think it’s a pretty name for an elf.”

“Thank you, Ellen. May I give you a hug?” Rian looked at Ellen’s mother sitting beside the bed. She nodded at Rian, who held out his arms and hugged Ellen. The rest of the elves went bedside and hugged the little girl. Rian went to whisper to the mother. “Can she have a candy cane?”

“Yes. Thank you for coming today. You made her day.”

Rian gave Ellen a candy cane, who immediately unwrapped it and put it in her mouth. “I’ll leave another on your bedside table,” said Rian. Ellen giggled.

“Bye Ellen,” said the group of elves.”

“Bye,” said Ellen.

Outside the door, Rian leaned on the wall with tears in his eyes. Tammy noticed. “Are you alright?” Rian tried unsuccessfully to dry his eyes without ruining his makeup.

“She reminds me of my sister about a year and a half ago,” said Rian, trying to wipe tears from his eyes.

“I forgot you said your sister had been sick. Will you be alright?”

“I’ll be fine.” Rian began composing himself. “Let’s catch up with the others.”

“Not until we find a restroom. You need to fix your face. If you don’t, you’ll be the elf who scared Christmas, not to mention the kids. Let’s go. You need to get yourself waterproof mascara. I’ll tell you what I use.”

~~0~~

The remaining patient visits went without any problems.

“That’ll be it for today, girls,” said their hospital guide.

“But we haven’t visited the rooms down the hall,” said Ellery.

“We won’t be going there today. It’s canine therapy day for those rooms.”

“My sister used to love the visits by the therapy dogs,” said Rian.

“Most of the children love it when the dogs visit. Did you girls enjoy visiting the children?” Rian’s elf-mates giggled. The hospital guide looked at the girls with a confused look. “Did I say something funny?”

“They’re being silly. Yes, we enjoyed meeting the children.” The remaining elves agreed.

“I’m going to ask if you can do it again tomorrow to cover the rooms we missed today.”

“I’d love to!” said Rian.

“Sure, I’m up for it,” said Amelia. The rest of the girls agreed.

“I’ll ask your director. It would be great to have you back again. Let’s get you girls back to the pavilion.” That brought on more giggles from the girls as a confused hospital guide led the way back. Rian had mixed feelings. It would be great to make the kid’s day, but he would have to wear his costume again all day. He sighed and followed the guide.

~~0~~

Before the play for the children, Rian checked his makeup. His cast mates kept the comments to a minimum in the dressing room, which surprised him. The play went smoothly and the audience all cheered when Christmas was saved. As expected, the children enjoyed the meet and greet after the show. At the meet and greet, Santa, of course, was the center of attention. The elves used the attention Santa was getting to leave gracefully, except for Rian, who volunteered to stay and help Santa.

When it was over, Rian walked to the dressing room. After spending nearly all yesterday and today in his costume, he was ready to get himself into his own clothes and head home. All the guys, except Santa, had left, so he didn’t expect any comments now. He walked to his spot and stopped. He saw his clothes were gone. In their place was a sleeveless red mini-dress with white snowflakes. The dress had frills on the hem and sleeve openings. There was a purse hanging from the chair.

“God damn them. Fucking shit,” Rian exclaimed. He continued with the expletives before he sat down, wondering where his car keys, phone, and wallet were.

Carlos was taking his costume off when he heard Rian.

“What’s wrong?”

“They took my fucking clothes!”

“I’m sorry, man. I saw Jordan’s sister bring him something. It must have been the dress. I didn’t know what he was planning. That sucks, man.”

“I’m not blaming you. I should have expected something like this.”

“Can I do anything for you?” asked Carlos.

“Not unless you can pull out a set of clothes from your Santa sack,” Rian said, managing a weak smile.

“If we were at the school’s theater, we could find you something, but not here.”

“I know. Thanks for offering.” He sighed. “I need to know what they did with my keys, phone, and wallet.” He spotted a note on the table, picked it up, and read it.

‘Rian, your phone, car keys, and wallet are in the purse. They put your clothes in the trunk of your car. I’m afraid you are going to need to wash them before you can wear them. I tried, but I couldn’t stop them.’ It was signed by Declan, one of the stagehands.

“You okay?” asked Carlos as he finished changing and packing his costume.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. They put my stuff in the purse. Thanks for asking. I have little choice but to wear this dress to get home.”

Carlos walked over to Rian and saw the dress. “At least it’s a good-looking dress. They could have gotten you something super short and slutty.” He looked at Rian, who was still in his elf costume. “I can wait and walk you out.”

Rian smiled. “No, I’ll be fine, but thanks for the offer. See you tomorrow.”

Carlos left and Rian put his head in his hands. After wearing his costume all day, he would have to wear a dress to go home. He began thinking of everything that had gone wrong. First, his sister getting sick, having to go through treatment, and now waiting to see if it worked. He thought about his audition for the Master’s program and receiving the notice they wanted to see his performance in this play. There was the costume mix-up and having to wear the costume all day going around the hospital, along with the possibility he would do it again tomorrow.

He sighed and took off his costume, packed it in its garment bag, and put on the dress. It surprised him that the dress fit as well as it did. Then he remembered Jordan had been helping with sizing the costumes. He picked up his costume’s garment bag, slung the purse over his shoulder, and left. He wondered what else could go wrong.

Thanks for reading. Comments Welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 4
by Peregrine

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---

Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

Chapter 4

Changes

‘He picked up his costume’s garment bag, slung the purse over his shoulder, and left. He wondered what else could go wrong.’

---

Rian walked into the large main entrance area of the pavilion. With the play being over, it was mostly empty. On the far left, he could see the security desk with a guard speaking to someone. There were a few people in the area as he started walking to the door. On his right, he saw a janitor wearing a Santa hat admiring a Christmas tree he had finished setting up. As Rian passed, the janitor stepped back for a better look and bumped into Rian, who dropped the garment bag.

“I’m so sorry, miss,” said the janitor. He reached down and picked up the garment bag. “Here, let me get that for you.” He handed the garment bag back to Rian. “Here you go. Are you alright?.”

“Thanks for picking that up for me,” said Rian accepting the bag. “I’m fine.” Rian looked at the tree. The janitor noticed.

“Isn’t she a beauty?” said the janitor. “It was the best tree on the lot. We were lucky to get it.”

“Yes, it’s very nice.”

“Wait until you see it decorated. It is going to be spectacular! Imagine hundreds of silver bells hanging from the branches. Say, aren’t you one of the elves that were in the play today?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re the elf that saved Christmas! My niece loved your show. You were terrific.”

“Thanks, I appreciate the compliment. Is your niece in the hospital?”

“No. One perk of being an employee, we got to bring our family to see the play. Wait until I tell her I spoke with the star of the play.”

“That’s very kind of you to say.”

“I have a question if I can be so bold?”

“Sure.”

“The playbill referred to you as a guy. Was it a misprint?”

“No, I am a guy. There was a costume mix-up and my male elf costume wasn’t ordered. So, I have to wear the female elf costume.”

“Let me say you did a remarkable job. I never would have known. But the play is over. Why are you wearing a dress? Are you a method actor? You know; fully immersing yourself in your character.”

“No, it was a prank by some of my cast mates.”

“Ah, that explains it. I guess it was expected.”

“No, it wasn’t,” said a frustrated Rian. “I didn’t ask to be a female elf. Just like I didn’t ask for my sister to be sick or my entrance to the Master’s program to be based on how well I do in this play. I didn’t ask to spend yesterday and today dressed as a girl almost all day and now have to go home wearing a dress. I wish things could be different.”

“Well then, you could try this.” He swept his arms towards the tree. “This is a Christmas wishing tree. The children here or members of their families can make a wish and hang a silver bell on the tree.”

Rian smiled at the thought. “Do their wishes come true?”

“Some do, some don’t.” He bent down and pulled out a small silver bell from a bag at the base of the tree. “Take this, make a wish, and ring it.” He handed Rian the bell.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t,” said Rian as he took the bell.

“Suit yourself,” said the janitor. Rian tried to hand the bell back to the janitor. “You keep it. If you change your mind, make your wish and ring the bell. Merry Christmas.”

“Thanks, Merry Christmas.”

Rian put the bell in the purse and walked to the door. He passed the guard, wishing him a Merry Christmas, and left the pavilion.

The moment Rian his car started moving, Rian could hear something was wrong. Stepping out of the car, he saw his passenger side back tire was completely flat. “Ah, crap. Why now? I just want to get home.” He decided not to change the tire while wearing the dress and heels. He called the car service and then got back in the car to wait.

As he sat there, he thought about all that had gone wrong, starting with his sister’s illness to now having to wear the dress home. “God, I wish things were different.” He pounded his hands on the steering wheel and then put his forehead on the top of the wheel. He heard a faint ringing. Lifting his head, he looked at the purse on the passenger seat. “No…,” he said. Putting the purse on his lap, he opened it and took out the bell. “Really Rian,” he said out loud. “You’re seriously thinking of doing this.” As he began to put the bell back, he stopped. He thought of all the wishes he could make. He wondered if he could make one wish to include them all. ‘This is silly,’ he thought. Holding the bell out, he closed his eyes and said, “I wish for a different life.” He rang the bell. He waited until the ringing had died down. Nothing happened. ‘I knew it was silly,’ he thought. He dropped the bell onto the seat, then put his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes to wait for the auto service.

~~0~~

“Rian, come on.” Rian seemed to hear the voice through a fog. “Get out there. Take your bow,” said Professor Atwood.

Rian recovered and went to take a bow. Things seemed off, yet nothing appeared different. Still, he could feel a change. Rian’s arms swept in Santa’s direction, and Santa came out and took a bow. Both Santa and Rian held hands, then took hold of the hand of the person on either side of them, and the entire cast took a final bow. The curtain closed, leaving Rian standing there trying to make sense of things. Rian walked backstage, and the girls wanted to take a group picture, and then another picture of the elves and Santa. As the group disbanded, Santa accidentally brushed up against Rian’s chest. Rian jumped at the sensation, bringing a hand up to the breast. Startled at the feeling, Rian was trying to figure out what was going on.

“Rian, oh, there you are.” Rian’s mother appeared, holding a garment bag. “You forgot to bring your dress for the cast party. You were fantastic. Your father and Renee both said they never saw you act better.”

“My dress? Wait, Renee came to the play?”

“Of course, she came. Do you think she would miss her sister’s opening night?”

“But her meds?”

“She took a little pain medication. It was all she needed.”

“Pain medication? But…”

“Your father’s double parked. I told him to go around the block if he had to. Enjoy the cast party. See you at home.”

Rian watched as she left. ‘What did she mean by my dress?’ Rian started for the men’s dressing room and was stopped before pulling the door open by Jordan.

“Ladies’ dressing room is across the hall, Rian. Unless you want to see me naked.” Rian looked at Jordan as he went in, leaving a confused Rian staring at the door.

“Rian, we want another picture,” called Kimber. Rian joined the others for the picture and stood there, still holding the garment bag. “Is that your dress for the party? I have to see. Come on, said Kimber.”

Kimber began guiding Rian into the ladies’ dressing room.

“I can’t…” Rian protested.

“Will you stop being silly and get in there?”

Kimber led Rian into the dressing room and to a chair with a sticker that said Rian. Rian wondered why the sticker was on a chair in the ladies’ dressing room. Kimber hung the garment bag on the rack by the chair and unzipped the bag. Reaching in, she took out the dress.

“This is beautiful!” Kimber was holding a short color block holly green sleeveless dress with a black lace overlay. Rian had to admit it was stunning.

“This dress is perfect for the star of the show. I can’t wait to see it on you. I better start getting changed.” Rian was left standing there, still befuddled, as Kimber walked away.

‘What is going on?’ thought Rian. ‘Why did Mom bring me a party dress? Why am I in the lady’s dressing room?’ Rian stood up and was bumped and someone brushed Rian’s breast again. Rian reacted to the unusual sensation with a hand coming up to cover the breast. ‘I have to see what’s going on.’

Rian entered the restroom stall and then removed the vest and top of the costume. Reaching back, the bra clasp was undone. Rian went to catch the breast forms, but they didn’t fall. Surprised, Rian’s hands came up and cupped each breast. “What the…?” Realizing they would not fall, Rian let them go.

“What the fuck is going on?” Rian said out loud. A sudden thought hit Rian. He pushed down the skirt and slowly slid his hand down the panties and felt a totally foreign sensation. With wide eyes, Rian looked down and screamed. His male equipment was gone. He had a vagina! He had breasts! Rian sat on the toilet and began to hyperventilate. Rian’s scream reverberated in the restroom and out into the dressing room. The girls rushed into the room with the guys hanging just outside the door. The girls got to the stall.

“Rian, open the door. Are you alright? We heard you scream,” said Tammy

Rian opened the door, panting. “She’s hyperventilating. Get a paper bag.” Someone came in with a bag and handed it to Tammy. “Breath into this,” said Tammy, handing Rian the bag. Rian began breathing into the bag and slowly calmed down.

“Can you tell us what happened?” asked Ellery.

Rian sat there bare-chested in front of the girls, trying to figure out what to say. I just found out I had breasts, and a vagina did not appear to be the right thing to say. Rian took a deep breath and said, “I thought I saw a mouse.”

The room emptied quickly with a few squeals, leaving Kimber and Ellery to help Rian. Ellery walked around the room and picked up a scrunched-up brown paper towel. “Is this what you saw?”

“I think so,” lied Rian.

“It probably moved when someone opened the door.” Ellery threw it into the trash can. “The excitement is over. If you’re done, let’s go get dressed for the cast party.”

“Thanks, guys. I really appreciate your help.”

Rian followed Ellery and Kimber out to the dressing room.

Rian took her time getting ready. She still didn’t understand what was going on. The one thing she knew was she was now a girl. The evidence was right there in front of her as she looked down at her breasts, now back in her bra. She put the dress on and used the heels of her costume to complete her look. She commented on how nice each girl looked and sat down in the chair again.

“Come on, let’s get to the party,” said Ellery as the girls surrounded Rian’s chair.

“You go on. I’m still feeling a little woozy.”

“Come on, girls. I think she wants to make an entrance,” said Tammy. The girls laughed and left for the party next door.

Rian sat there, trying to comprehend what was going on. She didn’t remember performing in the play. Her mother saying her sister needed only pain medication was strange. Bringing her a dress for the cast party made no sense until her discovery that she was now a girl.

“Maybe this is a dream. I’ve never had a dream like this before,” she said. She took one last look at herself in the mirror and then stood up. “I’m an actor. I can act as if this is normal.” She took a deep breath. “I better get to this party.”

~~0~~

The party was in full swing. Everyone at the party seemed to know Rian only as a girl. As the evening wore on, Rian began taking things in stride.

The girls were standing together when the Activities Director of the hospital walked up to them.
“Ladies, thank you for visiting the children this morning. I know it must be difficult to find the time with all that must be going on in your lives during the holidays. We had so many positive comments about you girls and I was wondering if any of you would like to continue visiting the children until the play is over. I understand if you can’t make it. Even if it were one or two of you, the children would love it.”

“I could do it again,” said Amelia.

“I guess I could, too,” said Rian, almost without thinking.

“Thank you so much. I’ll let you decide who can come and on what days.”

The party ended and Rian left. She was still confused as she walked to her car. Rian heard a bell ringing and turned toward the sound. She saw a guy in a Santa hat ringing a bell in front of a red kettle. Opening her purse, she found her wallet and was pleased to see there was some money in it. Taking out some bills, she walked over to the kettle and dropped the money inside.

“Thank you and Merry Christmas,” said the guy ringing the bell.

“You’re well…” Rian started to say. Turning to the man, Rian realized she knew him. “You! It’s you!”

“Well, if it isn’t the elf who saved Christmas. How have you been?”

“How have I been? I’ve been terrible! What did you do to me?”

“Me? I’ve done nothing to you,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“What do you mean, you’ve done nothing to me? The last time I saw you, I was a guy and now…” Rian looked around and lowered her voice. “I’m a girl.”

“The last time you were wearing a dress and complaining about how things were going in your life. Today I see you in a dress, which is very pretty, by the way, complaining you are a girl.”

“I wasn’t a girl then,” Rian said sharply. “You’re the last person I saw.”

“Ah,” he said. “What’s the last thing you remember from our first meeting?” Rian thought back to their first meeting.

“You had finished putting up the Christmas wishing tree and gave me a bell to make a wish. I didn’t want to, so you told me to keep it in case I changed my mind. When I went to my car and found I had a flat tire. I started feeling sorry for myself and got out the bell and wished…for...a…different life.”

“There you go. I knew you were a smart one.”

“I never wished to be a girl.”

“You wished for a different life. What could be more different than going from the life of a boy to the life of a girl?”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Embrace it.”

“How am I going to get through this?”

“You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out. Being an actor should be enough.” He saw the look on Rian’s face. “If you need me for anything, ring the bell. I’ll try to be there. Busy time of year for me, though. Don’t ring it too often.”

“But I don’t have…” Rian heard a faint ringing coming from her bag. She opened her bag and took out the silver bell. She looked over and found him gone. “Great, just fucking great,” she said. She put the bell back in her bag.

‘Now that I know what’s going on, maybe I can get through this,’ she thought. She got to her car, started it, then left for home.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 5
by Peregrine

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---

Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

Chapter 5

Discoveries

‘‘Now that I know what’s going on, maybe I can get through this.”

---

Driving home, Rian began wondering about her home life. She was curious about her parents. Her mother seemed like her normal self. She wondered if her room was decorated in a very feminine way. ‘I hope there is not too much pink,’ she thought. Pink was Renee’s color. She wondered about Renee. Her mother didn’t seem worried about her and apparently, Renee wasn’t taking any medications. That must mean Renee was in good health. She suddenly thought of Alex. Rian thought they must be best friends. After all, they were boyfriend and girlfriend before her recent changes. Rian realized she was about a block from the coffee shop and decided to make a stop and visit Alex.

The café appeared the same, but seemed more crowded than Rian had expected. People there were enjoying the atmosphere. It was a good sign the café was doing well. It was good to know some things were still the same. She looked around and didn’t see Alex at the counter. Maybe that was a good thing. What was she going to say to Alex? Something like, ‘hi, I used to be your boyfriend, but now I’m a girl. I hope you don’t mind.’ That didn’t seem right or believable. Rian decided she would order a latte while she was here.

The Barista behind the counter was taller than Rian. He appeared to be athletic and in good shape. His hair was trimmed on the sides of his head and he sported a closely trimmed beard. He was wearing a green tee shirt under a brown apron with the café logo. Rian felt an attraction to him, which startled her. She realized she was a girl now, and it was fine to be attracted to men.

“Excuse me. Can I get a vanilla latte, please?” she said. Rian opened her bag to get her card to pay. She looked up and saw him staring at her.

“What are you doing here?”

The comment startled Rian. “I came in looking for Alex, who apparently isn’t here, so I’ll take a vanilla latte.”

“Are you trying to be funny, Rian?”

“I don’t know what…”

“I am Alex. My beard can’t have made me look so different that you can’t recognize me. I mean, we dated throughout most of college.” Rian had a startled look on her face. In this life, Alex was a guy, and they had dated! Apparently, they had broken up, and judging Alex’s reaction to her, the breakup must have been her fault.

“I’m sorry, Alex. It’s been a long day with volunteering at the hospital and then opening night for the play.”

“You volunteered at the hospital?”

“All the elves visited the inpatient children at the hospital. The kids liked our visit so much that they asked us to do it again today. Then at the cast party, the hospital Activities Director asked us if we could continue to visit the children.”

“So you walk around in your elf costume and give the kids presents?”

Rian frowned. “We give them mini candy canes and stay and talk with them. You make it sound like we were in and out.”

There was silence for an agonizing five seconds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Let me make you that latte.”

“You don’t have to. I can leave.”

“No, you ordered it, so let me make it for you. You will have to pay for it, though.”

Rian waved her card over the reader and waited for the beep. Alex gave her the receipt and started making the latte, talking with her while making it.

“I never knew you liked to volunteer there,” said Alex as he steamed the milk.

“I never thought about it until they asked us to go around and visit the kids. The look on the faces of the kids was precious. I decided to do it again tomorrow, even if I’m the only one.”

Alex put the latte on the counter. “There you go.”

Rian picked it up and turned to leave. “Thanks, Alex. See you around.”

“My pleasure, and Rian… it was great seeing you again. Good night.”

While Rian felt good after speaking with Alex, she wondered why they had broken up. She couldn’t ask Alex. That would be weird. Especially if she was right, and she had broken up with him. Then she realized she knew exactly who to talk to about it. She hoped she was as close or closer to this person in this life as her previous one.

~~0~~

The house looked exactly as Rian remembered it. She parked the car and went inside.
“I’m home,” Rian called out as she hung up her coat.

“There’s my favorite actress,” said her father. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “You were fantastic tonight. I don’t think I have ever seen you act better.” Rian’s mother came out with a small bouquet.

“Here you go, honey. I wanted to give these to you at the theater. I was so focused on getting you your dress that I left them in the car.”

Rian took the flowers. “They’re lovely, Mom.” She kissed her mother. “Everyone loved the dress. Thanks for getting it to me.”

“You were great tonight, Rian,” said Renee as she entered the room. She walked over and hugged her big sister. It surprised Rian to see a healthy Renee.

“Thanks, um, how are you feeling?”

“How am I feeling? I’m fine. Why are you asking?”

“Mom said you, um, needed to take some painkillers.”

“Just my time of month. I’m fine. So you like the dress?”

“I do. So did everyone else.”

“I hope you’re not mad, but I had to have Mom return the one you bought and get you this one. You would go to a party in a potato sack if it weren’t for me.”

“Well, I appreciate you looking out for me. Thanks.” Rian knew she could talk with Renee about Alex.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. I baked some cupcakes and we have ice cream to celebrate your opening night.”

The celebration brought back memories of happy family times for Rian, before Renee’s illness. Everyone was smiling and laughing. She didn’t realize how much she had missed it. After the celebration, Rian went to her room. She was relieved to see it was much better than she had expected. The walls were a nice lavender color with her drapes being a pale blush pink. Her bed was made with white sheets, with a blue flowered print, and covered with a Christmas-themed blanket. Her bathroom walls were light green, and the towels were pale pink. While there was more pink than she would have liked. She found she liked the room.

Rian took off the theater makeup and washed and moisturized her face. She did it without thinking about what she should do. It seemed whatever magic was working on her helped her instinctively to know what to do. She changed into a pair of Christmas-themed pajama pants and a matching tee-shirt top. She was brushing her hair when Renee walked in.

“What took you so long? I didn’t think we were ever going to eat the cupcakes.”

“I stopped at the café to get a latte. Alex was there.”

“Uh-oh, um… how did it go?”

“It went good. He’s grown a beard. Did you know that?”

“No! How does he look with it?”

“If he doesn’t keep it trimmed, he’s going to look like a lumberjack.” Both sisters laughed. They settled down, and Rian continued. “He said it was nice to see me.”

“He’s nice. I don’t know why you broke up with him.”

“Why do you think I did?”

“I think you were nervous. You thought he was getting too serious and thought he was going to ask you to marry him when he graduated. You want to finish school and get your master’s degree. I think you didn’t know how to handle it.”

“So we had a big fight?”

“No, you told him what you wanted to do. He said he would wait until you graduated. You told him it wasn’t fair to him, and you two broke up.” Renee gave Rian a quizzical look. “Why are you asking me? It’s not that long ago that you could forget.”

“I’m making sure my memory is still good and to see how much you know.”

“Well, you are old.”

“Hey,” said Rian. “I’m not that much older. Don’t you start college next year?”

“If I get in. I haven’t heard yet.”

“Your grades are better than mine were. You are a shoo-in to get accepted.”

“So Alex said it was nice to see you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still like him?”

“I think I do.”

“Then there is only one thing for you to do,” Renee said excitedly.

“What’s that?”

“Get him back, of course. Sometimes I wonder what you would do without me.”

“I never want to find out.” They hugged. “Go get some sleep. Love ya. Sis.”

“Love you more!”

Rian lay in bed with the lights out. She began thinking about this different life. Here, her parents were happy and her sister was healthy and happy. ‘So why don’t I feel happy?’ she thought. ‘It must be because Alex and I broke up. Before this life, I was happy with Alex being my girlfriend. Could Renee be right? Do I need to get Alex back as a boyfriend? That must be it.’ She turned over and got comfortable, and closed her eyes, then suddenly opened them wide. ‘What am I going to do? I don’t know how to get a boy to like me?’ she thought.

~~0~~

Rian came down to get breakfast and found Renee eating a bowl of cereal. “Hey, squirt. You should stop eating all that sugary stuff. It’ll make you fat.”

“Stop calling me squirt. I’m almost as tall as you are. I like this cereal. It tastes good,” she said as she shoved another spoonful into her mouth.

“You’re right, I’ll quit calling you squirt.” Rian smiled at her sister. “You know, you will stop eating that stuff when you get a boyfriend.”

“All the reason to enjoy it now. But I already have one.” Renee ate another spoonful.

“One what?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“You do?” said a startled Rian. “Anyone I know?”

“Don’t think so. He’s in my class. His name is Grady Lasota.”

“How long has he been your boyfriend?”

“He doesn’t know he is yet. We’ve just talked a few times. I like him and I know he likes me.”

“Then why do you say he’s your boyfriend?”

“Because I have a plan. When it works, we’ll be going to prom together.”

“I see. Where are Mom and Dad?”

“Dad left for work already. He said something about a meeting. Mom had some training thing to go to.”

“Mom’s not taking night shifts?”

“Night shifts? Why would she do that?”

“So she could…” Rian realized with Renee being healthy, her mother wouldn't have to take night shifts.

“I thought I heard her say something about it. What are you going to do today?”

“I’m not sure. Play video games, I guess.”

“No friends around?”

“Leeann and Maria are both visiting their grandparents for the holidays. It’s you and me today.”

“I’m going to the hospital to visit more of the inpatient children.”

“Sounds like fun. Can I come?”

“I guess you can. I’m going to be in my costume, though. It’s too bad there’s not another elf costume at the theater.”

“I have an idea,” said Renee, as she brought her bowl to the sink. “Don’t leave without me.”

~~0~~

Wearing the costume had almost become second nature for Rian. It felt like she had been wearing it non-stop for three days. She did not have a problem going out in public wearing it. It seemed the most natural thing to do. She finished her makeup, put on the Santa hat, and took a last look in the mirror. She packed a change of clothes in the garment bag and went downstairs.

“Get down here, Renee, if you want to come with me,” Rian called.

“I’m coming,” said Renee, as she started down the steps.

Rian smiled as she saw her sister. Renee had done her hair in two shoulder-length braids. Each braid was tied at the end with a ribbon; Red on one side, green on the other. She wore a red miniskirt and white tights with a white printed tee-shirt that said Santa’s Helper, and on her feet were a pair of red flats.

“What do you think?” asked as she reached the bottom of the stairs and did a spin for her sister.
“You look adorable. Just like an elf in training,” said Rian. “Where did you find this outfit?”

“I threw it together. Mom bought me the shirt. I think she saw it online and thought it was cute. She wanted me to wear it at the opening, but I told her I was too old to do that. I had everything else.”

“With the way you put things together, I’m sure you’re going to be a fashion designer someday. Let’s get going.”

As Rian drove to the hospital, she began thinking about what Renee said about getting Grady to be her boyfriend. “Do you think your plan to get Grady as your boyfriend will work?”

“I’m pretty sure. I’ve asked around and it seems he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It looks good on paper. I need the nerve to fully put it into action.”

Rian hesitated, bit her lower lip, and said, “Do you think your plan will work for me to get Alex back?”

Renee sat up straighter and her eyes got big. “Really? You want to use my plan? Yes, yes, I think it will work!”

“Then let’s hear your plan.”

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 6
by Peregrine

---

---

Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

Chapter 6

The Plan

“Really? You want to use my plan? Yes, yes, I think it will work!”

---

“I can’t believe you want to use my plan,” said Renee.

“Why not? I want to hear what you came up with.”

“This is so rad!” said Renee. “My big sister is asking me for advice. I’m always coming to you when I need advice.”

“Well, let’s hear this plan.”

“Well, there are only three steps.”

“That’s good. I was expecting something complicated.”

Renee frowned at her sister. “Do you want to hear the plan or not?”

“I’m sorry. Three-step plan…continue.”

“The first step is to reconnect with interests that you both like. I don’t mean pretending to like something he does. It’s gotta be something you both like.”

“What interests do you share with your Grady?” asked Rian.

“I found out we have similar tastes in music. We even like some of the same video games.”

“Hm, you mean like things we used to do together?” Rian wondered if this Alex liked the same things as the previous Alex.

“Yeah. You both enjoyed going to the Music Pot for the concerts. Don’t forget jogging in the park and getting coffee.”

“I think I understand. Like me showing up for coffee last night.”

“Yeah, that was pretty bold. I would have started with going to the Music Pot. You show up and let him see you by sitting close.”

“Alright, that sounds good. What’s the second step?”

“Step one leads into step two. You cross paths with him more often. Like last night, you got coffee, and you spoke with him. If it’s jogging, you stretch and maybe jog with him.”

“So, step one is to let him see we still have the same interests and step two is to get in his face while doing them. That’s doable. What’s step three?”

“Step three is the most daring. It’s also what I need the nerve to do. You invite him to a party. You could even throw the party and invite him.”

“Invite him to a party as a date or invite him to a party I’m throwing. You know, that’s actually a decent plan. Did you think of it yourself?”

“Pretty much. I took some ideas from some online sites.”

“That’s a plan I think I can put into action. Now I have to figure out if we still like the same things.”

“That’s easy. All you need to do is check his social media page.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. You’re the best little sister I’ve ever had,” said Rian, smiling.

“I’m the only sister you have,” said Renee.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re the best.”

Rian pulled into the hospital parking lot. “This is it, my elf in training. Let’s make some kid’s day.”

~~0~~

Rian and Renee walked to the office for the activities director. The director was walking out as the two elves got there.

“Hi, girls. It’s Rian, right? Who do you have with you?”

“This is my sister, Renee. She wanted to visit the children with me.”

“Nice to meet you, Renee. It’s good she’s here,” said the director. “Amelia called and said she couldn’t make it today and promised to be here tomorrow.”

“Where do you want us to start?”

“Why don’t you both start on the fifth floor? I’ll let the nursing station know you’re coming.” She started walking, then stopped. “Hold on.” She went back into the office. “Celeste, would you make our elves here some name tags and give them the candy cane buckets?” She turned back to the elves. “Celeste will get you started. I have to run to a meeting. Have a good time.”

~~0~~

With their name tags in place and carrying the candy cane buckets, the two sisters walked to the elevators to get to the fifth floor. Just like last time, the kids, parents, and staff gave them big smiles as they passed. The two elves got to the nursing station and began visiting the children’s rooms. Some children recognized Rian as the elf who saved Christmas. Rian and Renee talked with the children, handed out candy canes, and gave and received hugs. Rian saw Renee was enjoying herself with the kids.

Rian noticed a clock on the wall showing eleven thirty. “Are you ready for some lunch?”

“I’m starved.”

Rian thought of her previous life and remembered Ellen. She wondered if there was an Ellen here. “I want to make one more visit first. Follow me.”

After taking an elevator, they went to the nursing station and asked if Ellen was still there. After getting confirmation, Rian led Renee to the room. Knocking on the door, Rian said, “Knock, knock. Can we come in?” Rian opened the door and saw Ellen’s mother sitting in the chair next to the bed. After getting a nod of the head from Ellen’s mother, Rian walked in.

Ellen saw Rian as she walked in, and her entire expression changed. “Rian! You’re here! Mom, my wish came true!”

“Hi, Ellen. I’m glad to see you too.” Rian brought her sister to her side. “I want you to meet my sister. Renee, this is Ellen. Ellen, this is Renee.”

“Nice to meet you, Ellen,” said Renee.

“Are you an elf too?” asked Ellen.

“Yes, I’m in training, though. That’s why I’m here with my big sister.”

“I like Rian. She’s nice.”

“I like her too. But she is my sister. I kind of have to.”

“Ellen started giggling and Renee joined in.”

As Renee and Ellen started talking together, Ellen’s mother asked Rian to step outside.

“Thank you for coming. She needed cheering up. How did you know?”

“I didn’t know. I guess it was some real Christmas magic.”

“Whatever it was, I’m glad you came. You were wonderful in the play the other day.”

“Thank you. Did Ellen get to see it? I didn’t see her at the meet and greet.”

“We couldn’t stay. She was too tired.”

“You said she needed cheering up? What happened? Not bad news, I hope.”

“No bad news, thank God. The therapy dog, Bubbles, was to visit her today but couldn’t make it. She was looking forward to its visit. The owner has to leave early, so they cut the visits short. Your being here makes up for her disappointment. I want you to know I appreciate you and your sister visiting.”

When they got back into the room, they found Ellen and Renee laughing together.
“I like your sister, Rian. She’s funny.”

“She is one of a kind.”

Rian was happy that Renee and Ellen were hitting it off. Her mind was on other things. She soon came back to being present in the visit.

“Ellen, Renee, and I have to get going.”

“Can you come visit again?”

Rian looked at Ellen’s mother, who nodded her head.

“You know I’m very busy this time of year, but I think I can fit a visit in again.”

“Can Renee come?”

“She couldn’t keep me away,” said Renee, hugging Ellen. “Bye, Ellen.”

Everyone said goodbye and Rian and her sister left.

“This has been nice,” said Renee. “The kids’ faces all light up when we walk in the door. Can we do this again?”

“I’m sure we can,” said Rian. They started walking to the elevators when Rian saw a guy with a dog. “Hey, look. Maybe that’s the guy with the dogs. I’m going to talk with him and see if he can stay a few minutes longer and bring Bubbles to see Ellen. Let go before he gets away.”

The sisters walked down the hall where the guy and dog were standing. He had his back to Rian talking with a nurse. The conversation appeared to be over as Rian got there.

“Excuse me, sir. Would it be possible for you to stay a few minutes and bring your dog to see another patient?”

“I’m sorry, I have to get going,” he said.

“It would only take…” Rian stopped as the guy turned around to face her. “Alex?”

“Rian! Wow, we see each other for two days in a row. So that’s your costume for the play? It looks great on you.”

A little flustered at seeing Alex, all Rian could say was, “Thanks.” She regained her composure. “You’re the guy with the therapy dogs?”

“Yep, this is Bubbles. She loves being with the children.”

“What’s up, Bubbles?” Renee said, giving the dog attention.

“Hi there, squirt. I see you’re helping your sister.”

“How come he can call you squirt?” asked Rian.

“He’s a lot taller than I am, that’s why. Hi, Alex.”

“You were saying?” said Alex as he checked Rian out.

“I was asking if you could stay a little longer. One patient was looking forward to seeing Bubbles.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t stay. One of my volunteers didn’t show up.”

“Rian will volunteer!” said Renee.

Rian shot a deadly look at her sister and said, “I can’t…”

Alex thought about it for a moment. “That would work. You can take Bubbles on your visits. I can handle things on my end. It would help me out.”

“And Ellen can get to play with Bubbles,” said Renee.

“I don’t know what to do…”

“Bubbles knows the routine. All you have to do is get her to the children’s rooms. She does the rest.”

“But I…”

“It’s settled.” Alex handed the leash to Rian, who handed it to Renee. “Get Bubbles to the Animal Antics Foundation by three. It’s on Ashbee Lane. I’ll see you later.”

Alex left, leaving the sisters with Bubbles.

“What were you thinking? Why did you volunteer us?” Rian asked her sister.

“It’s part of the plan. Or did you forget?”

“You are going to explain to me how this is part of the plan. Right now, let’s get Bubbles to Ellen’s room.”

“I can’t wait to see her face when we walk in,” said Renee.

“Me either,” said Rian.

~~0~~

Ellen was ecstatic upon seeing Renee walk in with Bubbles. While Ellen was engaged with Bubbles, Ellen’s mother took Rian aside.

“How on earth did you get Bubbles to come here? I was told the dog couldn’t visit today?”

“It turns out I know the dog’s handler.”

“I am going to have to agree with Ellen. Your visit, and then you and your sister bring Bubbles. It is a Christmas miracle. I can’t thank you enough.”

“You don’t have to thank us. Renee and I have had a blast visiting the children, especially Ellen.”

Renee was having such a great time bringing Bubbles to visit the children that she forgot she had been starving. They made several more visits before noticing the time.

“We’re going to have to leave to get Bubbles back to the foundation on time and get you home.”

“Aww. Can we do this again?”

“I don’t know if we’ll have Bubbles, but I’ll be back tomorrow. You can come with me again if you want to.”

~~0~~

Renee rode in the back seat with Bubbles and they pulled out of the parking lot onto the street.
“I know we had fun bringing Bubbles to see the kids, but you have to tell me why you volunteered us. You said it was part of the plan?” said Rian.

“You just had step one and step two come together. Don’t you see?”

“I don’t get it.”

“Step one is finding common interests. He likes to bring the dogs to the hospital to visit the kids. You like visiting the kids in the hospital. There is a common interest.”

“I’m doing it during Christmas time. He does it all the time.”

“So? It’s a common interest right now.”

“I’ll agree. It’s a common interest. So what now?”

“Like you said, step two is for you to get in his face. You will see him when you bring Bubbles back. You talk with him, asking him how he got involved with the therapy dogs. Now that you’re a volunteer, you’ll get to see him more.”

“Whoa, I thought you volunteered us for today.”

“I did, but I enjoyed taking Bubbles around to see the kids. I’m going to see if I can do it more often. You’ll have to drive me there since Mom and Dad won’t get me a car until I graduate. Then you get to see him more often. You see? Part of the plan. This is getting better and better.”

~~0~~

Bubbles and the girls got out of the car with Bubbles nearly dragging a laughing Renee to the door. Alex was speaking with someone at the front desk.

“Right on time,” said Alex. “Hey, Bubbles. Did you have a good time with the girls?” Alex scratched Bubbles behind the ears.

“I think we had a good time with her,” said Renee.

“Renee, give the leash to Sue and she’ll take Bubbles back to the kennel.”

“Can I take her back?” asked Renee.

“Sure you can,” said Sue. “Follow me. Would you like to feed her?”

With Renee off feeding Bubbles, there was a sudden silence. “So,” said Alex, breaking the silence, “It looks like Renee had a good time.”

“We both did. Thanks for letting us take Bubbles to visit the little girl. It cheered her up more than you know.”

“That’s great. Why the interest in this girl? You must have seen quite a few during your elf visits.”

“She…she reminds me of another little girl who was sick the last time I saw her. It seems like another lifetime ago.”

“How is she now?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to check up on her,” said Rian. She wondered if her parents had received the PET scan results. She shook her head slightly. In this life, her sister was fine. “Oh gosh, look at the time! I’ve got to get Renee home and then get myself to the theater for the show.”

“How about I get your sister home?”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I insist. After all, you helped me out today. It’s only fair. This way, you don’t have to rush, and… you can stay a little longer.”

“Alright.”

“Stop in the café after the play tonight. I’ll make you a latte. No charge this time,” Alex smiled at her. Rian didn’t know why, but she liked Alex smiling at her. She wondered if the Alex she knew previously felt the same way as she did now when she smiled at her. But she was a guy back then and Alex was a girl and now Alex is a guy and…. Thinking about it was giving her a headache. The only thing to do was to enjoy the moment.

Rian stayed for a short while and left, promising to stop at the café after the play. She started up her car and merged into traffic. “Damn! Renee’s plan might be working.”

~~0~~

Rian sat backstage after another successful performance. After the cast congratulated each other, Rian sat down to take off her makeup and costume. It felt funny taking her costume off. Between wearing the costume for visiting the kids, rehearsals, and performances, it felt like she had been wearing the costume non-stop. Today, there were no pranks or parties.

“Rhiannon Transdale…,” came a voice. “Delivery for Rhianna Transdale.”

“Rian,” said Kimber. “Looks like you have an admirer.”

“I’m Rian Transdale.” No one had ever called her Rhiannon before.

“These are for you.” Rian took the small bouquet. “Sign here, please.”

Rian looked at the bouquet and smelled the flowers. She found the card as the girls gathered around.

“Who’s it from?” asked Amelia.

Rian handed the flowers to Tammy, who had brought over a vase, and read the card aloud. “Break a leg. Alex.”

“Who’s Alex?” asked Ellery.

“An old boyfriend.”

“Sounds like he might want to still be your boyfriend,” said Tammy.

“If he had wanted to get back together, he would have sent roses,” said Ellery. The girls laughed and left Rian with the flowers in the vase on her table. She looked at the flowers and smiled.

Rian changed into a white poplin long shirt-tail hemmed shirt over high-waisted jeans. Keeping half of the shirt hem tucked gave the outfit a nonchalant appearance. She wore black, slouched, low-heeled boots to complete her look. Checking her makeup, she picked up her bag and left with a smile still on her face.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 7
by Peregrine

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---

Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

Chapter 7

Coming together
“If he had wanted to get back together, he would have sent roses,” said Ellery.

---

Even though Rian had agreed to go to the café, having received flowers from Alex gave her a good reason. Thanking him for the flowers was the least she could do. Rian became anxious, wondering if Alex would expect a kiss. Should she kiss him? Is that what girls do after getting flowers? She never kissed a guy before. What if Alex tried to kiss her? It stood to reason they would have kissed, having dated through college. Did they have sex? There was so much she didn’t know about their past relationship.

Suddenly, things were becoming real for Rian. Even though she knew, in this reality, she was a girl, in some ways, she still thought of herself as a boy, acting like a girl. Until now, that had not been a problem. Rian didn’t understand why she wasn’t freaking out more about being a girl. Was it the wish magic that had helped her know how to do her morning and evening routine without thinking about it? Or was it deep down, she had wanted to know what it felt like to be a girl? Right now, that didn’t matter, and she had to face the fact she was a girl. Most girls like guys. She felt an attraction to Alex. She needed to ignore her inner rejection of liking Alex. Even with her little knowledge of their past together, she felt she liked him and couldn’t explain why. Was it the magic again? When Renee said she should get him back, it seemed like the right thing to do. She took a deep breath and decided to embrace the situation, going with the flow.

Rian looked around the café as she entered. Alex was behind the counter making a requested drink. Off in a far, almost secluded corner was a guy working on his computer, speaking with someone. Rian stood at the counter as the Coffee Bar Attendant said, “Hi, can I take your order?”

“Hi. Would you let Alex know Rian is here?”

The Attendant went over to Alex, who turned his head to see Rian. Walking back to Rian, she said, “Alex said to find a seat. He’ll be right with you.”

“Thanks”, said Rian as she put a dollar into the tip jar on the counter.

Rian chose a two-person table close to the counter. Alex came over to the table, put the drink in front of Rian, and sat down.

“Thanks,” said Rian. She lifted the cup to take a sip.

“Be careful,” said Alex. “It’s still hot.”

Rian put the cup to her lips and took a slow sip. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth.

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll let it cool a bit.” Rian’s eyes met Alex’s. “Um, thanks for the flowers. They were lovely.” Rian took another cautious sip of her drink.

“I’m glad you liked them. I was going to get roses, but they were sold out.” Rian nearly choked as she remembered what Ellery had said.

“Are you okay?” asked Alex.

“I’m fine,” said Rian as she waved her hand in front of her mouth. “It’s still too hot.” She put the cup on the table and surrounded it with both hands.

Alex looked up and saw he needed to make another order. “I’ve got to get back. We close in about half an hour. Stay. We can talk after I finish cleaning up.”

“Okay,” said Rian. Alex left to make the drink order. She took another sip as she watched Alex behind the counter. She couldn’t stop thinking that Alex had wanted to get her roses. Could Ellery be right?

Time went by quickly. Soon Alex locked the doors and put the closed sign in the window. “I’m going to make a decaf coffee. Would you like a cup?”

“That would be great.”

Alex came back with two cups of coffee. “Extra cream and one sugar, just like you like it.” He sat across from Rian.

“Thanks.” Rian tried the coffee. “Perfect,” she said.

“Just like old times,” said Alex. “You and me here in the café.”

“I’ll bet you take your girlfriend here all the time.”

“There’s no girlfriend. I’m still single.”

Rian felt herself get flustered and changed the subject.

“How did you get involved with the therapy dogs?”

“Oh, that. After graduation, Dad encouraged me to go into business as a personal financial adviser. He knew a few people to get me started. Word of mouth got me more clients. Business took off. I saw the Animal Antics Foundation looking for a CFO, so I thought, what the heck? I applied and got the job.”

“Why are you working here?”

“I find it relaxing. I can also meet some clients here. It serves a dual purpose.”

“How did you start working with the dogs?”

“There is not a lot to do at the foundation yet, so I began helping with the dogs. I found I like it. We need more volunteers, though. You and Renee helped me out by taking Bubbles around.”

“We loved taking her around, especially Renee. She wants to be a volunteer.”

“That’s great. We can use her. She and Bubbles get along well.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you have to leave?”

“Other than being short on volunteers, I had to talk with someone at the bank.”

“Is everything alright?”

Alex looked down at the table. “We’re losing our funding. I’m trying to get a bank loan until I can find funding to replace what we lost.”

“What will happen if you can’t get the loan?”

“We’ll have to shut the program down.”

“But the kids won’t get to see the dogs!”

“Yeah, and if it takes too long to get funding, the foundation will have to close.” Alex sighed. “I feel like a failure. I can manage a client’s portfolio, but I can’t get funding for a foundation.”

“You need someone who can convince people to give money. Not everyone is a fundraiser. When’s your next meeting with the bank?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Let Renee and I take Bubbles around to visit the children tomorrow. This way, you can prepare for the meeting.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. You said you need volunteers. I’m volunteering.”

“If you’re sure, then okay.”

“Great. I also want you to bring Bubbles to the theater tonight. I have a plan.”

Alex chuckled. “You have a plan.”

“Don’t you think I can come up with a plan to help you save the program?”

“It’s not that.”

“You’ll see. I’ll put my plan into action and you’ll have more time to find a donor to keep the program going.” Rian stood up and spun around to leave.

“Rian, wait.” She turned to face Alex, who hesitated. “I think you can do whatever you put your mind to. Are you sure you want to help? We broke up after all.”

“This has nothing to do with that. We can talk about it later. Make sure Bubbles is at the theater tonight.”

~~0~~

Rian and Renee spent the day at the hospital with Bubbles. The children they visited were having a blast, and Renee was right there with them, enjoying every moment. Their last stop was to visit a thrilled Ellen. When they finished, they packed Bubbles in the car and headed to the foundation. While Renee took Bubbles to the kennel, Rian went to see Alex.

She found Alex in a bare-walled room big enough to hold a desk, chair, and a filing cabinet. “Nice office. You need a picture on that wall.” She pointed to the wall on his right.

“Thanks. How did things go?” asked Alex.

“Bubbles was great and Renee enjoyed herself. I think she will enjoy volunteering.”

“Is everything set with your idea?”

“Not yet. I have to talk with Professor Atwood, but I don’t see her not allowing it. Can you bring Renee to the theater?”

“Yep, I’ll get her there.”

“I’ve told Renee what time to be at the theater. Make sure you’re there with Bubbles on time. I’ll let you know if things are a go when you get there.”

~~0~~

Rian found Professor Atwood and explained what she had planned. With the professor’s blessing, she sat in the dressing room and told the elves her plan. They all agree to help. With everything taken care of, she could finally get ready for the play and wait.

~~0~~

The curtain closed on the opening act. Rian saw Alex and gave him a thumbs up. Professor Atwood walked out to the center of the stage.

“Thank you all for supporting our annual Children’s Hospital benefit. The elves have visited the children in the hospital and enjoyed every minute. They asked if they could have time to make a request. Rian, the microphone is yours.”

Rian walked to center stage and Professor Atwood handed off the microphone. The remaining elves followed and surrounded Rian. Rian cleared her throat.

“The entire cast wants to thank you all for supporting our efforts. We have enjoyed our visits with the children and will continue until the hospital throws us out.” The crowd laughed at her comment. “While our visits will stop, another group will continue visiting the children.” Rian motioned for Renee to come on stage with Bubbles. As they approached, the crowd let out a collective ‘aww’ as they saw Bubbles and Renee.

“Our four-legged friend here is Bubbles. My sister and I have had the privilege of bringing Bubbles on our visits, much to the delight of the children. Bubbles is from the Animal Antics Foundation. We have seen the children’s faces light up when Bubbles comes into their rooms. Not only Bubbles, but all the dogs from the foundation. Bringing their dogs to the hospital almost daily has brought joy to the children there.” She paused. “That may stop.” She paused another beat. “The foundation has lost some of its funding. The elves and I will come around to ask for anything you can donate to help the foundation.” Renee and Bubbles left the stage along with the elves and began circulating through the audience. “Please be generous, as every bit helps. The Foundation’s CFO will be in the lobby and will answer any questions you may have about how to donate or volunteer. Everyone here thanks you for your generosity. Please enjoy the rest of the show.”

Rian saw Alex smile at her as she joined the elves in the audience. She smiled back. Maybe both plans were working.

Alex, Renee, and Bubbles stayed until the end of the show. Renee took Bubbles outside the door as people were leaving. Almost all the children wanted to say hello to Bubbles. Rian changed into the same high-waisted jeans as yesterday but with a black ruffled top that Renee had suggested. She walked over to where Alex was standing. She waited as Alex shook hands, thanking a donor. They both watched Renee and Bubbles greet the children and parents.

“She is great with Bubbles,” said Alex, pointing his chin towards Renee and Bubbles.

“How did it go out here?”

“It went great. We got small donations and some larger checks. If it continues like this for the next couple of shows, we may be able to keep the doors open longer. I plan to use this show of support to convince the bank of the importance of the foundation. If not, this gives me additional time to find funding.”

“That’s great!”

He looked at Rian. “This is all because of you.”

“I didn’t do…” Their eyes met. Rian saw Alex’s lips coming toward her. She couldn’t explain it, but she wanted their lips to touch. The realization hit her. She wanted to kiss Alex. Rian closed her eyes.

“Alex…hey Alex… I think Bubbles has to go. Hey, you two.”

They both realized Renee was talking to them. Turning their heads, they saw a smiling Renee. They quickly regained their composure.

“Bubbles has to go and I don’t have any bags to clean up,” said Renee.

“Oh, yeah, well, I better take care of Bubbles and get her to the foundation. I’ll see you two tomorrow to pick up Bubbles, right?” Alex took the leash from Renee.

“We’ll be there,” said Renee, answering for her sister. “Bye Bubbles.”

Alex left to take Bubble to do her business.

“This is so cool,” said Renee.

“What is,” said a still recovering Rian.

“Seeing my plan working so well.”

“Yes, your plan is working. Why did you interrupt us?”

“Sorry about that. Bubbles really had to go.”

“I’ll forgive you this time. Don’t let it happen again.” Renee started giggling and Rian soon joined in.

The remaining days of the show passed quickly. Rian and Renee would bring Bubble to the hospital to visit the children. Alex would bring Bubbles to the theater for intermission. Rian would give her speech and the elves would circulate and collect donations.

The cast was preparing for the next to the last performance when Professor Atwood called for their attention.

“Everyone listen up.” The room quieted. “We have raised more money for the hospital this year than last year. You are all to be congratulated. The hospital has invited us to a cast party at the Davenport Pavilion after the last show tomorrow. They are throwing the party to show their appreciation for your fund-raising efforts and for your visiting the children during the running of the show. They have said you can all bring a plus one if you so desire. Now, get out there and break a leg.” Professor Atwood called Rian aside as everyone left to go to their places. “Rian, the hospital also extended an invitation for your sister if she wants to come. That includes a plus one for her as well.”

“She will love to come. Thanks, Professor.”

“Don’t thank me. The hospital said one of their benefactors insisted on throwing the party for the cast. The family is going to be there. You can thank them if you get to meet them.”

Rian finished changing after the show. She was wearing a blue floral print skinny blouse with a casual square neck and ruffled hem that was shirred at the waist, which was Renee-approved. As they drove home, she told Renee about the cast party.

“Really? I can come? And I can bring someone? This is great! You’re going to invite Alex, aren’t you? It is part of the plan.”

“I know. Step three. Invite him to a party. I’m going to ask him tomorrow when we pick up Bubbles.”

“We have to go shopping!” said Renee. “I have to get a dress for the party. You do too.”

“I don’t have time. It’s our last visit to the hospital and the last show. I’ll wear the green dress.”

“Are you crazy? You can’t wear that again. I’ll have time to shop after we bring Bubbles back to the foundation and before I pick her up to go to the theater. I’ll pick out a dress for you and bring it to the theater. You’ll have to give me your card, though.”

“So I’m paying for your dress, too?”

“It’s payment for my expert plan that worked!”

“I guess that’s fair. You did a great job picking out my dress for the cast party at the hospital. I’ll trust you. I’ll bet I can guess who you are going to invite.”

Renee giggled.

~~0~~

The two sisters went to the Foundation to get Bubbles. Renee was almost out the car door before the car came to a stop. Rian entered the building and found Alex in his office.

“Today’s the last play, right? I got used to you stopping by in the mornings,” said Alex.

“Yeah, me too. If Renee gets to be a volunteer, I might be stopping by.”

“I’ll have to ask where her paperwork stands,” said Alex.

“Um, there is going to be a cast party after the show tonight. I was wondering if you would like to come. It’s going to be at the Davenport Pavilion after the show.”

“You want me to come? You mean like a date?”

“Yes, like a date.,” said Rian, blushing. “I’ve been thinking, you know, I mean, I was hoping we could get back together. Don’t we deserve a second chance?”

“While it’s been nice seeing you this week,” said Alex, “I’m not sure we should get back together.”

“But…”

“I hope I haven’t given you the impression that’s what I wanted. I’m sorry if you thought I did. We already had our chance.”

Rian took a step back. “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. It was all me,” said Rian. “Forget I mentioned it.”

“Rian…”

“Um, I need a favor. Renee has to do some shopping after we return Bubbles. Would you be able to get her to the store and the theater?”

“Rian, we’re friends. I’ll get her to where she needs to go.”

“Thanks. Um, the party invite is still open. Not as a date. With all you do with the therapy dogs, I think you should be there.”

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 8
by Peregrine

---

---

Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

Chapter 8

Cast Party

“We already had our chance.”

---

Rian didn’t hear a word her sister was saying as they left the foundation. It didn’t take long for Renee to realize there was something wrong.

“You have heard nothing I’ve said, have you?” said Renee from the back seat. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” The car drifted into the on-coming traffic lane a bit. The driver honked at Rian, who corrected her position.

“Hey! I’d like to get there alive, please. I’m sure Bubbles does too,” said Renee.

“Sorry.” Rian returned her concentration to the road. Renee thought it best not to say anything until they arrived at the hospital. Rian parked the car.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on, or do I have to get Bubbles to lick your face?”

“He doesn’t want to get back together,” said Rian somberly.

“He… you mean Alex?”

“I asked him if we could get a second chance and he said he wasn’t ready.”

“You asked him already? You weren’t supposed to do that until you were at the party.”

“Now you tell me.”

“We can fix this.”

“No, we can’t. He doesn’t want to get back together. He’s made that clear.”

“But…”

“I know you want to help, but we have to face it. He’s not interested.” She found a tissue in her purse and dried a tear that managed to escape from her eye.

“Why don’t you go home? I can take Bubbles around. I’ll call you when I’m done,” said Renee.

“Thanks, sis.” Rian took a deep breath. “I’m an actor. I’ll act happy even though I’m not. Keep Bubbles ready to lick my face in case I slip up.”

~~0~~

Visiting the children helped Rian stop feeling sorry for herself. At the end of their visiting time, the sisters made their last stop to see Ellen. As usual, Ellen was happy to see the two elves and Bubbles. Today, Ellen seemed happier, as did the mood in the room.

“Renee, Rian, did you hear? I’m gonna be going home!” The sisters made a fuss over Ellen. As Ellen began playing with Bubbles, Rian went to Ellen’s mother.

“That is good news,” said Rian.

“It’s even better than that. Her last PET scan showed no trace of the disease. She will still be here on Christmas, but she’ll be home the day after. My husband has brought presents for the children who will be here on Christmas. All of us are going to bring them to the children who are here on Christmas day.”

“That is so nice.”

“My husband and I want to thank you and your sister. You have been so kind to Ellen. Is there anything we can do for you and your sister?”

“Oh, no. It’s been a privilege to help this week.”

“Let me give you my number. Can I have your phone?” Rian handed her phone to Ellen’s mother. “If you need anything, do not hesitate to call.”

Rian took her phone back and looked at the contact. She saw Ellen’s mother’s name was Nancy. “Hit call so I can get your number.” Rian hit the call button and Nancy saw Rian’s name pop up.

“Is Rian your stage name?”

“It’s my real name. It’s short for Rhiannon.”

Nancy put her phone away and looked at Rian. “That’s a powerful name. In Celtic Literature, Rhiannon is one of the great female personalities," she said. "There is nobody quite like her. She is intelligent, beautiful, and famed for her generosity. All traits I see in you.”

Rian blushed. “Thank you.”

“You have my number. Please keep in touch.”

“I will.”

~~0~~

Rian brought Renee to the foundation and drove off without seeing Alex. Renee finished with Bubbles and went to Alex’s office. He saw her as she got to his door.

“How did it go today?”

“It was fine. Bubbles was great. The kids love her.”

“I guess I need to get you to a store. What are you shopping for?”

“I need a dress for the cast party tonight. So does Rian. I’m picking it out for her.”

“Alright, give me about fifteen minutes, then we can go.”

“Take your time. I have to make a couple of calls.”

Renee went to the hallway to make her phone calls. Alex heard her invite Grady to the party before she walked out of range.

Alex finished and went to find Renee. “Ready to go.”

“Sure.” They walked out to the car, and Alex used the remote to unlock the doors. They got in and left the parking lot.

“Where are we going?”

“To the dress shop on Main Street,” Renee said matter-of-factly.

“I think I know where that is.” Alex made a turn toward the shop.

You could almost feel the chill as they traveled in icy silence. It hung in the air before Renee decided to break it. “I know you and Rian have been through a lot, breaking up and all. She told me she asked you about getting back together and that you said no.” Renee thought about what to say. “I know she’s hurting right now. She cares about you. Look at how she has tried to help you with the foundation.”

“Hey, I care about her, too. The time isn’t right.”

“I believe you care. Anyone can see how much you two mean to each other. I’ve been able to watch you two this past week. The both of you are good together. That’s why I think you should give her a second chance.”

He glanced over at Renee. “A second chance, huh?”

"Yeah," Renee said firmly. "I'm not saying it’s going to be easy, and I'm not saying you won't have your problems. But you two have something special, something worth fighting for. Rian deserves to be happy. So do you. I think you make each other happy."

Alex sighed. “Maybe I was hasty. Maybe I made a mistake. I don’t know if she’ll want to get back together now.”

"People make mistakes. But people also forgive and try to give love another chance. Rian still loves you, and I can see that you still love her. Don't let fear or pride or whatever stand in the way of something beautiful."

"So you think I should give us another shot?"

Renee nodded. "Yes, I think you should. Come to the party tonight. Talk to her, and see if you can rebuild what you had together. Life's too short to let love slip through your fingers."

He sighed, a mixture of emotions playing across his face. "I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask. Just think about it. Rian deserves a second chance, and so do you."

Alex smiled. “When did you get so smart?”

“I always have been.” Renee sat back, hoping her words would help start a new beginning, a second chance for her sister and her sister's ex-boyfriend.

Alex parked at the dress shop, and Renee got out of the car. She motioned for Alex to lower the window. “I forgot to tell you,” said Renee. “While I was waiting for you, I called my mother. She’s going to meet me here to help pick out Rian’s dress. You would think after I did such a good job the last time, she would have some faith in me. I hope I see you at the party,” she said before heading off to the dress shop.

~~0~~

Rian sat in her parked car, thinking. She stared at the building housing the theater. A thought popped into her head: All the world’s a stage. That’s what this experience has felt like. It’s as if she had dropped into the middle of a play without a script. She looked down and noticed the skirt of her costume. It seemed she had been wearing her costume non-stop since waking up here. Between the play and the hospital visits, there had been very few times she was not in costume. Her costume. The costume was the reason she was here. She would never have wished for a different life if they had ordered the right costume. This life. It wasn’t extremely different from her previous life. Sure, she was a girl in this life. That certainly was different. She had a family, a mother, and a father who loved her. That wasn’t different. Her healthy sister was a welcomed difference. Alex’s not being in her life was a difference she didn’t like. That was the reason she had agreed to try Renee’s plan. The plan had been working until she screwed it up. She was at a loss for what to do. Her purse on the passenger’s seat caught her eye. Reaching over to pick it up, she opened it. She searched through the bag. Finding the bell, she held it in front of her. She argued with herself about ringing it. Closing her eyes, she rang the bell.

She opened her eyes as the ringing receded. Nothing had changed. She was still in her car, and holding the bell. Putting the bell back in her purse, she shook her head and closed her bag. A sudden knocking on her window startled her.

“You better get moving. You don’t want to miss your call time.” Rian looked up and saw the janitor outside her door. She opened the door and got out. “Are you enjoying your different life?” he asked.

“I screwed up. You’ve got to tell me what to do. Please help me.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell you what to do. It’s your life,” said the janitor.

“But I messed up.”

“So you messed up. Everyone messes up from time to time. You need to look at all the good you’ve done.”

“The good I’ve done? I screwed up. What good could I have possibly done?”

“Well, let’s see.” He took a notebook from his pocket and began paging through it. “You have helped bring joy to children who would not have been able to see Bubbles had you not stepped in to help. How about the joy you saw on the face of Ellen whenever you visited? You’ve helped delay the shutdown of the animal therapy program for the hospital. Renee needed confidence to put her plan into action with Grady. Seeing her plan work for you, she’s inviting Grady to the party tonight.”

“But it didn’t work. Alex doesn’t want to get back together.”

“The night’s still young. Here, put this on the Christmas tree after the play.” He tossed a red and green Christmas ornament into the air over Rian’s head. She followed it with her eyes and, at the last moment, reaching out, she caught it.

“That could have broken if missed it.” He was gone when she looked for him. She sighed. Putting the ornament in her purse, she went to the theater.

~~0~~

The play went well. Rian didn’t think about the janitor or Alex until Renee brought Bubbles on stage during her speech. During intermission, Rian was backstage when Renee came back without Bubbles.

“Where’s Bubbles?”

“Alex took Bubbles back right after we finished collecting,” said Renee, who saw a look of disappointment on her sister’s face. “Did you see the dresses I found for the party?” She pointed to the garment bags hanging by Rian.

Rian smiled. “No, I haven’t. Let’s see what you bought.”

Renee unzipped the bag containing her dress. It was a shift mini dress with black mesh cap sleeves and a V-neck. The color was a gradient red, from dark maroon at the shoulders to Christmas red to the hem covered with silver sequins from the waist down.

“This is gorgeous!”

“Do you think Grady will like it? I invited him to the party, and he said he would come.”

“He is going to love it, especially with you wearing it.”

Renee hung the dress back up, trying to hide her blushing. She opened the next bag to show her sister. It was a carmine midi length, mesh-short-sleeved, ruched, V-neck dress dotted with silver sequins.

“Renee, this is perfect!” She hugged her sister. “Thank you.”

“And don’t worry, I didn’t break the bank buying these. Besides, Mom paid for them.”

“Mom was with you? I thought…”

“Alex dropped me off and Mom met me at the store. She wanted to make sure I picked out something nice.”

“I think you did great. Thank you.” She hugged her sister again.

“Five minutes, people.” They heard someone with a clipboard say.

“I have to get ready.”

“I’m going to change while you’re on stage. Can I use some of your makeup? I didn’t bring mine.”

“Of course you can. I’ll see you after the play and you can help me get ready.”

~~0~~

With the play over, the cast was eager to get to the party. Just walking into the Davenport Pavilion was enough to get the sisters in the Christmas spirit. Everyone was dressed in their Christmas finery, including Santa hats and candy cane necklaces. Renee stayed close to her sister as Rian greeted her cast mates and teachers. They got themselves some punch and enjoyed the spectacle. Rian noticed Renee seemed preoccupied and kept looking towards the door.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to miss Grady. He doesn’t know anyone here. I don’t want him to feel out of place.”

“Of course, it wouldn’t be right to let him wander by himself,” said Rian, smiling.

“You should look for Alex.”

Rian sighed. “I doubt he is going to come.”

“There he is!” said Renee, excitedly. Rian looked in the direction Renee was pointing. “Grady! Hey Grady.” Renee left and made her way to accompany Grady.

Rian took a sip of her punch. For a moment, she had a sliver of hope that Alex had shown up. Admitting their relationship was in the past was hard. She decided to enjoy the party and even danced with Carlos and Jordan. She sat at her table, watching the surrounding merriment, when she felt someone caress her shoulder.

“Is this seat taken?”

She looked up to see Alex standing behind her. She smiled.

“I don’t know. Are you on the guest list?”

“I believe I am. That is if I’m still your plus one.”

“You are,” said Rian. Alex sat next to her. “I’m glad you came.”

“I almost didn’t though, but someone gave me a lecture about second chances.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Just some squirt I know. She was very convincing.” Rian smiled, knowing it must have been Renee. “I’m glad I came as well.” The DJ played a slow song. “Would you like to dance?” Alex stood, then held out his hand.

“I’d love to,” said Rian. They walked to the dance floor. Rian put her arms around Alex’s neck.

“Rian, I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day. Your sister made me realize I was hasty. You make me happy. We are good together. Look at what we did for the foundation.”

“It wasn’t much.”

“You don’t know how much you helped. It is enough to give me more time to find a new donor. Thinking about us showed me I made a mistake. I would like to give us a second chance if you want to.”

“Yes, I would like that.”

The kiss they enjoyed seemed to last a lifetime.

The music stopped, and a microphone squealed as it was handed to the hospital’s Activities Director.

“Can you hear me? Okay. I hope everyone is having a good time.”

Cheers came from the crowd.

“The hospital wants to thank you all for coming. We want to especially thank the cast, stage crew, director, and anyone else I missed from the play that benefited the hospital. I want you all to know that the funds that were raised are being matched by the man whose name appears above the door of this pavilion. Give a round of applause for Mr. Darrin Davenport.” The crowd responded. “Can we get Mr. Davenport and his wife to come up here?” The crowd applauded as Mr. and Mrs. Davenport took the stage.

“I know her,” said Rian.

“Who?” asked Alex.

“Mrs. Davenport.”

“My wife and I want to thank you all. You did a great job with the play. I know my daughter loved it. You also did a good job raising funds to keep the therapy dog program going. It’s another thing my daughter loved.” He paused. “For those who don’t know, my daughter has been a patient here. We recently received news that her last scan showed no sign of the disease. She will be going home.” People applauded.

“In celebration, I will donate to the school’s theater program to keep these benefit plays going.” The crowd cheered. Alex hugged Rian. “I will also fund a grant to keep the source of the therapy dogs, Animal Antics Foundation, going for the foreseeable future.”

Rian hugged Alex. “You did it!” said Rian.

“We did it,” said Alex as they kissed again.

Mr. Davenport handed the microphone to his wife. “On the table by the entrance are poinsettia plants for each of you to take home.”

“Last thing, said Mr. Davenport,” taking the microphone back. “Would the CFO of Animal Antics, I think his name is Alex, and the elf who saved Christmas…”

“Her name is Rian,” said Mrs. Davenport into the microphone. The crowd laughed.

“Yes, would Alex and Rian meet us at the Poinsettia table? Enjoy the rest of the party.”

Rian looked at Alex. “I guess we better get to the table,” said Rian.

---

Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

---

Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine

Silver Bell Wish 9
by Peregrine

---

---

Copyright © 2023 Peregrine
All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

.
Chapter 9

Back again

“I guess we better get to the table,” said Rian.

---

Rian and Alex made their way to the Poinsettia table. Mrs. Davenport’s face lit up upon seeing them approach. Rian, Alex, thanks for coming.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Davenport, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” said Alex, shaking Mr. Davenport’s hand.

“Hi, Mrs. Davenport, Mr. Davenport,” said Rian.

“Rian, call me Nancy.”

“How about we talk about the foundation,” said Mr. Davenport to Alex.

Mrs. Davenport looked at the two guys. “I think we should let them talk.” The ladies walked to the opposite end of the table. “Are you and your sister enjoying the party?”

“Very much.”

“I’m glad. I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Ask away.”

“I told you my husband bought presents for the children who will be in the hospital on Christmas day. It was Ellen’s idea. She asked if Rian could help hand them out.” She held up her hand as Rian started to say something. “I know it is Christmas day, and it’s last-minute notice. Your Santa, his name is Carlos, right? He said he would do it. We would love for you to be there. We will pay you, of course.”

“Nancy, I’d love to help and you don’t need to pay me.” Nancy patted Rian’s hand.

“I’m giving you a piece of advice. Never turn down money when it’s offered to you,” said Nancy. “You graduate in May, right? What are your plans for the summer and after?”

“I’m hoping to get accepted into grad school and I’ll look for a summer job.”

“What are you planning on studying?”

“I’m planning on getting my master’s in theater. I double majored in theater and finance, so maybe I can work with my father this summer.”

“If you’re interested, there will be an internship opening in the finance department at my husband’s company. It’s yours if you want it.”

“That’s so generous.”

“Let me know what school you’re applying to for your master’s. Darrin is on the board of many of the universities in the area. I’m sure he can get you in with a full scholarship. I expect your grades are good enough to get in, right?”

“Yes, no problem there but…”

“I don’t want to hear any buts. I’ll send you an email about the internship and you let me know the university you’re interested in.”

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Nancy.”

“You’re welcome. I see the guys are done talking business.”

“You come and see me right after the new year,” said Mr. Davenport as he shook Alex’s hand.

“I will, Mr. Davenport. I can’t thank you enough.”

“We have to be on our way,” said Mr. Davenport, standing next to his wife. “Merry Christmas to you both. Oh, Rian, will I see you tomorrow to hand out presents?”

“You will, sir.”

“Thank you. Have a good night.”

The Davenports left a stunned Rian and Alex. They were sharing their stories when Renee and Grady showed up.

“Rian, I want you to meet Grady. Grady, this is my sister, Rian.”

“You’re the elf that saved Christmas. You were terrific.”

“Thank you, Grady, and it’s nice to meet you.”

“Grady has to leave and his parents said they would drive me home. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Call me when you get home, please.”

“Alright.”

“It was nice meeting you, Rian,” said Grady.

Renee and Grady walked to the entrance hand in hand.

“Could there be a budding romance with those two?” asked Alex.

“They will go to their prom together. You can bet on that,” said Rian.

“I’m going to head on out. Can I get your coat?”

“That would be great.”

“I’d drive you home, but you drove here.” Alex got their coats and helped Rian with her coat. “I can walk you to your car.”

“I’m going to stay and say goodbye to my cast mates before I leave.”

Alex drew near and put his arms around Rian’s waist, pulling her close. “Call me when you get home.”

"I will," Rian responded softly. They shared a lingering kiss, the soft touch of their lips conveying a mixture of love and newfound commitment. Alex brushed a stray hair from her forehead before he reluctantly left.

~~0~~

Rian said her goodbyes and made her way to the pavilion’s main lobby. Stopping to look at the tree as she walked past it, she remembered the tree ornament still in her purse. She took the ornament from her bag, and then studied the tree, looking for the perfect spot. Placing the ornament on a branch, she stepped back. The tree looked amazing with the silver bells and red and green ornaments.

“Ah, that is the perfect spot for that ornament,” came a voice. Turning, she saw the janitor still wearing the Santa hat. She smiled.

“Yes, it is,” said Rian. “I guess I should thank you.”

“Thank me? Whatever for?”

“My wish. My different life. It’s been a wonderful week. Seeing Renee healthy, seeing my family happy, visiting the children, saving the foundation, I couldn’t have asked for more.”

“I guess you’re ready, then.”

“Ready for what?”

“To go back.”

“I have to go back?”

“Rian, you knew deep down you would go back. The time has come.”

Rian looked at the floor, the tree, and finally the janitor. “I guess I did, sort of. But my family here and Renee?”

“They will be fine. Renee will go to her prom with Grady. Your family celebrates a wonderful Christmas. The news of how Alex saved the foundation will spread, giving him more clients for his business. He will need to expand and hire people. The dogs continue to visit the children for a very long time.”

“Back home…? Will Renee…?”

“Your sister will still be sick, but this is Christmas. Anything can happen.” He smiled and pointed to Rian’s bag. “I’m sure you still have the bell.”

“I do.” Rian heard a faint ringing and looked down at her purse. She smiled at the janitor and took out the silver bell he had given her.

“I think you know the drill,” said the janitor.

Rian walked up to the tree. She took a deep breath and rang the bell. With it still ringing, she placed it on the tree and closed her eyes.

~~0~~

“Stop daydreaming, Rian. Get out there and take your bow.”

Rian opened his eyes and realized he was backstage and wearing his costume. Recovering, he went to center stage to take a bow. He swept his arms in Santa’s direction, and Santa came on stage and took a bow. Both Santa and Rian took hold of the hand of the person on either side of them, and the entire cast took a final bow. The curtain closed, and the cast hurried off stage, leaving Rian standing there. “I’m back,” he said.

“Rian, get over here,” said Kimber. “We want to get a picture together before you take off your costume. I’m sure you want to get out of it as soon as you can.”

Rian followed Kimber and joined the elves for a group shot, then another with Santa, then another with Professor Atwood, and then more with the cast. After the last picture, Professor Atwood took Rian aside.

“There are some people from the audience who want to speak with you.”

“Do you think I can change first?”

“I think you should go out just as you are,” she said, smiling.

Rian sighed. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’ve been wearing the costume for the entire week,’ he thought. He walked out through the curtain and found three women waiting for him.

“I’m Rian Transdale. You asked to see me?” He said as he came off the stage into the audience. Using the steps was easier after his week in heels.

“Yes, I’m Mrs. Kazanowski,” she said, extending her hand. Rian shook her hand as she continued the introductions. “This is Mrs. Sullivan and Mrs. Graham. I have to say, we thought your performance was fantastic. I need to be sure you are the Rian Transdale who applied for Temple’s Grad school.”

Rian realized these were the people who were evaluating him. “Yes, yes, I am.”

“Please, excuse me for asking. You are male, correct?”

“Yes, there was a mix-up with the costumes.” Rian gave them a brief explanation.

“I have to say, your acting and deportment on stage had me convinced you were a girl. This is the third time we saw the show, and you never faltered once. You are the kind of actor we want in our program.”

“You mean I’m in?” said Rian.

“Of course you’re in. Didn’t you get the letter?”

“Yes, I did. I thought you were coming to evaluate me for entrance to the program.”

“You have early acceptance.” Mrs. Kazanowski sighed. “We have to get them to change that letter. We’re here to evaluate you for a scholarship to the program. From what we have seen these past three shows, you have a unanimous yes from all three of us. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” said Rian. “What a wonderful Christmas present.” Rian shook the hands of all three women.

“You’re welcome. We expect great things from you. Well, you change out of your costume. A letter with the details will go out after the new year.”

“Thank you and Merry Christmas,” said Rian.

Rian climbed the steps and went backstage to a waiting Professor Atwood. “I’ve been accepted into their program.”

“That’s wonderful, Rian. Congrats.”

~~0~~

Rian was on cloud nine as he got into his car and left the theater, heading home. It felt like a long time since he wore his male clothing. The past week he had been in his costume while visiting the children in the hospital and then performing in the show. After the show, he wore a dress or a skirt or tight jeans. It seemed he had worn girl’s clothing all week. Now, not having the bra around his chest was a relief, yet felt strange being absent. He told his car system to call Alex as he made a turn toward home.

“Hi, Rian. Coming home from the last show?”

“Yeah, I finished changing and I’m heading home.”

“I guess you’re glad to not have to wear the costume anymore.”

“It feels like that’s all I’ve been wearing for the week.”

“I think it’s been good for you.”

“Wearing the costume?”

“Yeah, that and having to act as a girl. You’ve seemed different somehow, like you’ve let your feminine side out.”

“You want me to wear a skirt for you?”

“I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to. We could go shopping.” Alex giggled. “Make sure Renee sends me pictures when you’re her sister.”

“She told you about that, huh?” He heard Alex giggle again. “Hey, I have to tell you, I got into the master’s program. They told me I’m getting a full scholarship!”

“That’s great! I’m still waiting to hear.”

“You have nothing to worry about. Once you set your mind on what you want to do, nothing can stop you. I can’t wait to hear your valedictorian speech. And I think you should study finance.”

“Wow, I like this you. You’ve learned a lot playing a girl for the week.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“I’m sorry I won’t see you tomorrow. We’ll be visiting my grandmother.”

“It’s alright. I can call you. I’ll see you after Christmas, right?”

“Yes, you will.”

“I gotta go. I’m pulling up to the house. Merry Christmas. Love ya.”

“Merry Christmas. Love you too.”

~~0~~

Rian saw his sister as he walked in the door.

“You’re home!” said Renee. “Wait till you hear!”

“Let your brother get settled. Hang up your coat and join us in the kitchen,” said his father.

Rian walked into the kitchen to see everyone eating ice cream and cupcakes.

“Are we celebrating something?”

“Yes, we are. The doctor called to let us know the results of Renee’s PET scan.”

“The doctor said there is no sign of the disease!” said Renee. “I can go back to school after the new year!”

“That’s great, Renee. It’s the best news I’ve heard today.” He hugged his sister. “I have news too. I am getting a full scholarship for the master’s program.”

“That is good news. It looks like it’s going to be a merry Christmas. Grab a bowl and get yourself some ice cream.”

~~0~~

Christmas celebration passed all too quickly. Rian went to see Alex the day after. They exchanged gifts and Alex gave him a second gift of candy cane earrings. Rian came home and saw Renee talking with a boy at the dining room table.

“Who’s the boy with Renee?” he asked his mother as he walked into the kitchen.

“Oh him. That’s Grady. He’s been coming over to help your sister keep up with her studies since I’ve been taking evening shifts.”

“I haven’t seen him before.”

“He’s come over mostly in the early afternoon while you’re at school and when you were rehearsing. He’s determined to bring her up to speed, so she doesn’t feel lost when she goes back.”

Rian smiled as he watched them from the kitchen door. “Hey, can I ask you an off-the-wall question?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“When you were pregnant with me, did you know you were having a boy?”

“That’s not a question I was expecting,” said his mother. She stopped what she was doing and put her hands on the counter. “I didn’t know. We told the doctors we wanted to be surprised.”

“Did you have a girl’s name picked out?”

His mother smiled. “If you had been a girl, your name would have been Rhiannon. Why the interest?”

Rian smiled. “It came up during the play. I didn’t know how to answer.”

~~0~~

Rian knocked on Renee’s door as he stood outside her room.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Renee put aside the school book she had been reading.

“How’s the schoolwork going?”

“It’s fine. It was easier when Mom was homeschooling me.”

“She took it easy on you?”

“A little. Grady wants to make sure I know this stuff.”

“Did you know him?”

“Not really. I’ve seen him at school. He’s in most of my classes. Mom contacted the school to get someone to help me with schoolwork when she started working night shifts. She said Grady volunteered.”

“I see. Do you like him? He seems nice?”

“I can’t talk about boys with you. You’re my brother. I have to finish this chapter.”

Rian smiled and left the room as Renee went back to reading the book.

Twenty minutes later, Rian knocked on Renee’s door again. “Can I come in?”

Renee looked up and saw Rian wearing the blue floral jumper, pantyhose, heels, and makeup. She laughed. “Are you going to be my sister tonight?”

Rian walked over and sat on the bed.

“Tonight I’m your sister Rhiannon.”

Renee sat closer to Rian. “This is so cool.”

“I’m guessing you like Grady, since you wouldn’t talk to your brother about him.”

“I might. He’s nice, and he is cute.”

“I think you two would make a good couple going to your prom. Do you think you would like to go with him?”

“I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Let me help you.”

“How can you help me?”

Rian moved closer to his sister. “I’ve got a surefire plan.”

“You’ve got a plan,” she said sarcastically. “Where did you get this plan?”

“From a very smart young woman that I know. There are only three steps.”

Rian and Renee laughed. Then Rian began explaining the plan.

~~0~~
The End

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

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Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.

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Cover picture Credits:
Photo Created with AI using Gencraft (after many tries)
Photo Composite by Peregrine