When I came in the next day Josie asked, "So am I right in thinking that
you have made up your mind, you are going to join us in the project?"

"I am still thinking about it and think it's probably the best thing for
me but what's difficult is I don't know if I want to become a girl
permanently."

"So what's holding you back?" she asked.

"I guess I wonder if I am able to really be female. I mean it's a lot
more than just wearing dresses and makeup, for sure. And I wonder if I
am strong, no, that's the right word,...brave enough is more like it, to
get pregnant and have a baby. You seem very happy but were you always
happy in your new life?" I asked.

She thought a minute, then said, "Like you I was hesitant at first, full
of doubt, pretty scared and confused but deep down I knew that what I
decided to do was something bigger than just me. At the time I had a
good paying job and lots of friends but I just felt unfulfilled.

"Explaining all this to my folks and friends was a challenge. I told
them that even though it would be a major change in my life it would, of
course, result in a huge change in theirs. I would still love and be
friends with them if they would accept me but it was something I felt I
needed to do, regardless. Following this program I would be doing my part
in contributing to the needs of the planet. I hoped they felt the same."

Continuing on Josie said, "My folks were confused and conflicted, of
course. My mom had a hard time with it but when I said that I would be
producing a grandchild for them her face lit up and, suddenly, it all
became much more acceptable. My dad thinks I'm nuts but he left it up to
me and mom to decide."

"There was also the monetary factor that I told my parents I would be
more than willing to contribute to the family. I have to admit, though,
that I would probably have done it even without the money. The dwindling
population issue was too important to ignore. Being able to help re-
populate our planet was a huge factor. As I mentioned before the human
birthrate has been steadily dropping."

"I love my life now and wouldn't want my life to be any other way. I
have a handsome, loving boyfriend and I will soon be delivering our own
child. It is truly a dream come true!"

That all made sense to me but I still had doubts that I could ever be
intimate with a man.

"Being attracted to and then desiring a man was a huge step for me but it
actually just naturally occurred, as did becoming pregnant with our
child. It truly has been a gift to me. Give it time, let it sink in and
I think you will agree. By the way, your test readings were in the top 2
percentile. That means that you are an ideal candidate."

I let that sink in.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes but Josie was watching me,
smiling. She came over and hugged me, hugged like girls hugged other
girls. I was starting to discover some of these incidental details of
females, like making close contact as women tend to do naturally, without
hesitation or ulterior motives.

I said, "Well I understand now that my life would be radically different
forever but listening to you and thinking about all of this makes me
realized this is something I not only want, but need. I really needed
the money, for starters, but my life was really going nowhere. I would
finally have a purpose in life, something I was truly missing. I really
had no incentive or plans for my future but I understand now that if I
follow your path I will be doing something to make myself a useful human
and do my part to help heal the planet as well. In some ways it would
just be wrong to not take this journey." I felt myself trying not to cry
but it was no use.

"TJ, that is wonderful and it's obvious that this journey will become
your destiny. I'm so glad you chose to stay with us and don't be
embarrassed about crying, it's just one of those female traits we share."

I sniffled a little more and then asked Josie, "Do you miss being male?"

"Good question. As for being female, I was hesitant, of course, like you,
at first, but my male life was going nowhere. I figured that this way I
could at least make myself useful. I do admit that I kind of liked all
the clothes and stuff. I'm thinking I may have been a crossdresser but
didn't know it and just wish I could have been born this way so I could
have enjoyed girlhood. I always liked to watch my sister and her friends
play dress-up and have tea parties."

I thanked her for her honest response and asked her if I could be back
the next day with my final response, that I still was undecided.

"No, wait," she said, "tomorrow is Saturday so you can give it your full
attention and then come back and see me, I mean us, on Monday."

"Yes, this will give me some time, it's the biggest decision of my life!
You will definitely see me on Monday"

"Oh, one more thing, Josie, am I the only one doing this program right
now?

"Actually, no," she said. "I was going to mention that there are 3 girls
who are just about finished with the program and will be coming by on
Monday so you can all meet."

"That would be very interesting, for sure. It will be exciting for me to
see some others and maybe pick their brains a bit." I said. "Um, what do
I call them, you know, while they are in this stage of development?"

"Identifying one's gender can be a slippery slope sometimes but they all
identify as female now so the she/her pronouns are the best." she said.
"This will be a good exercise in a social situations for all of us."

"I guess that's just one more thing I will need to adjust to, I'm sure.
It will be odd for me to hear others refer to me as 'she' or 'her' but I
suppose I will get used to it," I said.

As I walked back towards my dorm I passed through the Campus Center on my
way to the deli. There was a bank of mirrors on the opposite wall and I
saw this girl walking toward me, clutching her books against her chest
like girls often do. Even in a baggy sweater and loose pants I could
tell she had a nice walk and body. When I suddenly realized it was me I
about fainted. Staring at my own reflection it seems like I looked
pretty much like a regular female student. It was shocking! I felt
myself on the verge of tears again so I headed to the rest room. Out of
habit I guess I had run into the mens'. Not sure what to do I headed to
the nearest stall, sat down and burst into tears. Now I don't think I've
ever really cried very much before except when I hurt myself but here I
was bawling like a baby, again. I heard somebody come in and tried to
stifle my tears but he heard me.

"Hey, you OK in there?" he asked.

Trying not to give myself away I tried to say "Yeah, I'm OK" but I
couldn't help but sound like a sniffling girl.

Another guy came in and the first guy said, "Dude, I think there's a girl
in here, in that stall, and she crying."

As long as they thought I was just a lost girl I figured I was ok so I
said "Please, just leave me alone, my boyfriend broke up with me." I
don't know why I made up that little lie but it worked and they left.

I found it strange that apparently I sounded like a female without even
trying. I didn't even notice the difference. Quickly I went to the
mirror and was struck how I actually did look female, or at least like a
'softer' version of my old self. It became obvious to me that with my
longish hair in a tiny ponytail and despite my baggy boy clothes, I
looked like many of the other girls on campus. 'Other' girls! Now I was
comparing myself to them. I found myself wishing I had some lipstick and
other makeup but there was nothing I could do about that so I hurried out
of the rest room and decided I'd better pick up a few items, 'just in
case'.

Thinking I was becoming female had me in a spin. For one thing how do I
know what "kind" of girl was I going to be. How do I know what I should
be wearing, skirts, dresses, pants? How long, how short, how tight?
What about shoes? Those really high-kind of heels? I'd break both
ankles, for sure. What do I do about hair besides let it keep growing
out? Not just on my head but what about my legs and underarms, I'll have
to learn how to shave them. And then there's makeup. How do you learn
such things if you didn't grow up with other girls for examples?

Stopping at the local drug store I was stunned by the vast array or
cosmetics. Rows and rows of colorful tubes and jars, all with bright
labels and pretty names plus more aisles of just hair stuff. Confused I
just grabbed a tube of lipstick and a bottle of nail polish, both bright
red. The clerk didn't blink as I handed her my items but did say "Thank
you, miss," after I paid. I was both shocked and pleased at her comment.
"Maybe I can do this," I thought.

Back in my room, my roommate was gone again so I decided to try on my
lipstick. It wasn't as easy as girls make it look. I definitely need
practice if I am actually going to go through with the program.

The more I thought about it I realized that it might be the best thing I
could do, for me and for others, ultimately. I was going to have to make
some kind of decision and then go back in Monday morning and tell the
doctor and Josie.

Just then I heard the doorknob turn and my roommate, Duane, barged in
like he usually does, full of testosterone and not much else. I quickly
turned my back on him and he said, "Hey, turdburger, where you been....
Wait who are you?"

Not knowing what else to say I just said, "It's me, JT."

"What the fuuh, how come you look like a chick?"

"It's for a class I'm taking. Leave me alone." Actually it was kinda for
a class but he wouldn't understand.

"What the hell kind of class is this, Faggot 101?"

"I said leave me alone, get out of here!"

"Hell no, it's my room too. You get out if you want privacy!"

I really didn't have much choice so I turned around and headed out.
"Don't forget your purse, faggot!"

I was in tears again as I hurried out and ran down the hallway and out of
the building. I really have any place to go so I went back to Room 01
and hoped that someone would be there.

The door to 01 was locked but I knocked and rattled the door and Jodie
responded. "JT, you're back. Why are you crying?"

I went to her and she hugged me and said, "Just let it out, you're
emotions are going through a wringer now but it will get better, I
promise."

"I sure hope so," I said as my sniveling finally stopped. "I just had a
run-in with my roommate. He is such an ass."

"You want to tell me about it?" she asked.

"No, he's always an ass and..., no, I don't want to talk about it."

She nodded in understanding then let go of me and smiled and said, "Um,
did he see you wearing lipstick?"

"Yes, he wanted to know why I looked like a chick and I told him it was
for a class."

"Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you," she said. "Unfortunately this
happens much too often!"

She handed me a tissue and said, "How about we remove your lipstick and
start over."

"Oh, no, it must look awful, I forgot!"

"Well you are definitely starting to become more female. Sometimes the
changes become obvious quite quickly. It's partly genetics and partly
Dr. Z's program."

"I don't know if this is part of what is going on but, despite my run-in,
I sure seem happier than I used to be. Could this be part of it? I
wondered.

"It certainly could be. Come to think of it, I am happier now than from
before in my guy days."

I handed her my bright red lipstick tube and she chuckled and said, "One
of the first you need to learn is what color would look best on you.
Here, let's try me show you with some of mine." She went for her purse
and pulled out a tube of peach-colored lipstick. "Now watch me." as she
pursed her lips and applied it expertly, rubbing her lips together and
then blotting. "Now you try." as she handed me her tube.

"You didn't even use a mirror!" I said, looking around for something
reflective.

"I already had some one so this was just a touch-up. I still use a
mirror when I apply first thing. After awhile you will be able to do it
automatically. Here use this," handing me a shiny metal plate as a
mirror.

"Your lips look so nice, how do you decide what color is best?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to say your lipstick isn't the best color for you but
there are so many choices it takes awhile before you find one that just
looks right. I went through too many tubes of Lush Lips and Party Pink
before I found this one."

She continued, "It was just trial and error for me but there are places,
like at a mall makeup counter, where a consultant will tell you what
works best for you, for your eye, skin and hair color. You can even have
a makeover while you are there. That might be fun for you!"

"Um, yeah, maybe we can go there together?" I said hopefully while
checking out my lips in the shiny plate.

Looking at Josie I only see an expectant mother and now I understand when
people say that pregnant women have a glow. She was radiant,

I knew I couldn't keep Josie away from her family all night so I thanked
her for being there, hugged her, and then headed back to my room. It
dawned on my that, with my new income I could afford to find my own place
and get away from that awful roommate, Duane.

I felt so happy being with Josie, she was always upbeat.

Unfortunately, when I got back to my room Duane was there, checking
himself out while flexing in the mirror. "Well look who's back! Hey
doll, you here to give me a blowjob or what?" he said in his typical rude
macho mood.

"Leave me alone. What I am doing is none of your business." Right after
I said it I knew it was the wrong thing to say.

He stood up and got face to face with me except he was 6" taller and 10
times stronger than me. "I'll leave you alone when I'm done with you.
First I'm going to have a little fun with my purty new roommate."

"No, go away, don't touch me, please!"

"Aw, she said please, she must really want what I got. Just wait till
it's jammed down her throat!"

"Duane, now cut it out, this isn't a joke. Just leave me alone. Don't
hurt me!" I pleaded but I knew he wasn't going to leave me alone.

"You even sound like a girl! What the...!" I became afraid as he
cornered me, grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, trying to force my
mouth wide open. I was helpless!

He was much stronger than me. He reached down and unzipped his fly and I
feared for the worst. I wanted to yell, no, scream, but I knew that would
only make it worse.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, baby doll, you're just gonna love this! Girls
love sucking cock and you're no different!

He pushed me down to my knees and grabbed my hair so I was trapped and
said, "Dollface, you are in for a treat," and he tried to force his
smelly cock into my mouth. I tried to struggle but he was slapping my
face with it, rubbing it all over and then trying to pry my lips apart.
He overpowered me. Being helpless, all I could do is hope he wouldn't
hurt me too badly. Roughly he pulled my ponytail back further which
caused me to open my mouth. He forced his cock between my lips. It was
awful. It tasted and smelled horrible and caused me to gag but all I
could do was hope it would soon be over. Finally he tensed up and moaned
loudly as he shot his load directly to the back of my mouth and, since he
held my head, his putrid cum slid down my throat. He pinched my nose
shut so all I could do was swallow. He finally let go of my hair and I
fell to the floor.

He just laughed and said, "Best cock you'll ever suck, right babe? Be
sure to drink every drop! You'll be my expert cocksucking roommate in no
time. My buddies will love it and I can't wait to pass you around to
every one of 'em," as I lay curled up on the floor, crying.

He finally left, yelling down the hallway "Hey guys, there's free
blowjobs down in my room, help yourselves, she loves cocksucking,"
laughing as he beat his chest in victory, like the barbarian he was!

I was totally humiliated, disgusted and angry but also very scared. How
could he do this to me? What would all these other guys do to me? It
made me wonder how many other girls he had done this to. I hated him.
He's a monster! I tried to spit out his semen but much of it I had to
swallow so I put a couple fingers down my throat and threw up what I
could into his backpack and left. I knew I wanted revenge but right now
I just wanted to get away from him!

I went over to short-term housing and luckily there was a room I could
rent for the night. While I was waiting for them to finish my paperwork
I saw my reflection in a mirror on the back wall and was horrified to see
that the pretty lipstick, Josie's color, which I was proudly wearing, was
now smeared all around my mouth from Duane's abuse. I guess I forgot I
was even wearing lipstick at that point. The clerk must have known but
she just gave me a key and pointed me down the hallway. I just crawled on
the bed and cried myself to sleep.

After that incident it pretty sealed my decision to continue with the
program. I admit I am now wary of the possible dangers of being female
but I never could compete in the macho guy world either. It was the
weekend so I thought I would try and secure some long-term housing and
get myself some appropriate clothing. When I left my dorm room all I had
was my book bag, my laptop, toothbrush, razor and the same clothes I was
wearing. I decided then and there that I wouldn't be needing any of my
guy stuff anymore.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, Chapter 3

I went over to short-term housing and luckily there was an available room. While waiting for them to finish my paperwork I saw my reflection and was horrified to see that the pretty lipstick I was wearing was now smeared all around my mouth from Duane's assault. I forgot I was even wearing lipstick! The housing clerk must have noticed but she just handed me the key and pointed me down the hallway. I was so tired I just fell on the bed and cried myself to sleep.

The incident with Duane cemented my decision to continue with the program. I admit I am now wary of one of the many possible dangers of being female but I never liked all the competition in the macho world either.

It was the weekend so I tried to put that incident out of my mind for now and, instead, would try and secure some long-term housing and, maybe, get some appropriate female wear. I tried to make myself presentable before I went apartment-looking but it was difficult since I didn't have anything to work with.

Close by was a drugstore where I bought a few necessities like a
hairbrush and a different, lighter shade of lipstick, following Josie’s advice. I was tempted to get some eye makeup but wasn't sure what I needed or how any of it worked so I waited on that. I knew I could figure out nail polish so I got a bottle of a shade of blue that I had seen other girls wear. I applied the lipstick using a store mirror and already felt better about myself.

I found an ad for a studio apartment close to campus and decided to check it out. I hadn't saved much money yet but I had to have decent place to stay, for now. It seemed nice enough, and being short-term it was partially furnished with a folding bed and basic kitchen ware. All my earthly possessions were in my book bag; my laptop, toothbrush, razor, and the clothes I was wearing and I didn't dare go back to my old room.

As far as I was concerned, John Thomas ceased to exist. Whoever I was going to be, my new name and persona would definitely going to be female. YES! YES! YES!

I wiped off my lipstick, and then re-applied it, just for practice, and Josie's advice was spot on...the shade makes all the difference. I brushed my hair and wished it would grow faster and painted my nails, thinking I could use any kind of help in making myself look girlier.

I had to wear the same thing I did yesterday and it definitely wasn’t feminine at all, of course, but I had to wear something so I was resigned to put it back on. If I wasn't wearing lipstick and nail polish I would probably be mistaken for a butch lesbian. I smiled and thought, "Being mistaken as a lesbian is better than mistaken for any kind of male."

I gathered my courage and went to the bus stop and nobody looked at me strange and a few even smiled so I began to feel better. There were a few resale stores not far away and I hoped I could find some things to build up my female wardrobe. I found a few items at the first one I visited, a pretty floral blouse a couple skirts and a dress. I was nervous using the dressing room but nobody seemed to care. I undressed and realized that I really needed a bra, for sure, as my breasts seemed to grow every day and some panties. I was still wearing my male boxers,
unfortunately and were, of course, all wrong. I knew I wouldn't purchase lingerie at a resale shop so I tried on the few items I selected. The size tags made no sense to me. I had no idea what a size 9 related to or what Petite or Plus sizes meant although I had a rough idea. The blouse fit me ok but one of the skirts was way too small and the dress was too big. This was going to be a challenge.

At the next shop I pretended I was a foreign student and used what I thought might be a foreign accent to ask a salesgirl if she could help me because I was new to this country. She explained the sizing to me and helped select a few things. Everything she chose seemed to fit.

"Sank you, Madame, you were zo helpfool for me," as I paid for my purchases.

I tried the same tact at a lingerie store a few doors down. I told this salesgirl that my luggage had been lost and I needed help with “Ze Americaan sizing." She was more than glad to help me as she took a tape measure and measured my bust and chest.

"This should be perfect for you, a 32-B with panties to match." She said I could try them on but it would have to be worn over what I was currently wearing underneath.

I just said, "zees looks like my zize, zo I weel buy zem."

Shoes came next and this was going to be a real problem, I thought. I looked into a store window and there were dizzying styles, flats, high heels, very high heels, open toe, closed toe, boots, and it occurred to me that my legs and feet definitely needed to be shaved. I opted for one of those self-serve shoe places, thinking It best to avoid having someone see my hairy feet. I just settled for a pair of flats in a size
8 and hoped for the best.

I got back to my new apartment, kicked off my old, male running shoes, and threw them in the trash along with everything else that belonged to James and took a shower. Since I forgot to get a robe I just put on my new bra and panties and then tried some of my new purchases.

Trying on my bra for the first time was quite a struggle until I
realized I could wrap it backwards around my middle, fasten the snaps and they turn it around, put my arms under the straps and then draw it up. Once I got my tiny boobs settled in the cups it sure made a difference. My breasts were still small but now stood out much more than they used to. Wearing a bra all day seems like it might torture but a torture I had to get used to. I mean millions of other women deal with it every day so I figured I needed to as well.

Putting the panties on was a no brainer except for the lack of a fly so all I had to make sure I had the leg holes correct and facing the right way. The issue of what's down between my legs is definitely changing and certainly was beginning to look 'different'. The nano technology was re-contouring everything and what's there now looks sorta like a clitoris but with 2 sad, shrunken testicles. I wondered what would happen next but I kept my hands off for now, following Dr. Z's order. I didn’t really want to know yet what was going on inside although I still needed to answer Nature's call. Still, I loved the changes and could hardly wait for the finished product!

Sitting to pee turns out to be quite a revelation. What I did before was simple but I still had to stand, aim and try not to drip on the floor. Now I just pull down my panties, sit, relax, blot, and go.

Trying on the blouse was another challenge. Who knew that the buttons were on the opposite side? Well, every born-female knew it but I'm sure almost all men had no idea. The blouse did fit nicely though and my breasts, supported in my bra, were nicely rounded. The skirt I bought was easy to try on, I just stepped in and zipped it up, even though the zipper catch was on the opposite side also, and it seemed to flatter my widening hips. It looked nice with my blouse, I thought.

I saved trying on the dress until later but I did try on the shoes which were a bit snug and pinched my toes but I thought they went well with my blouse and skirt. From those shoes I thought my women's size was 8.5. Silly me! I soon found out that women's shoe sizing seem to be gamble, at best, and obviously I would have to try new shoes on in a store.

I did buy patterned tights and a couple pairs of pantyhose although I did notice most of the girls on campus were bare-legged, even in cold weather, but my male side remembered how stockings flattered a female leg. Having to coordinate my clothes was going to be a whole other lesson.

On my way home I had picked up some Thai take-out since I had no
cookware or food. I slowly ate my dinner, careful not to spill any food on my new things, and just thought about what had transpired in my last few weeks.

Until my run-in with Duane I was having a hard time deciding what I should do. What he did to me was despicable but I knew now that I wanted no part in belonging to his gender. Men have been assaulting women since forever. He isn't the only one, of course, but I began forming a plan I hoped would teach him a lesson.

It was quite unbelievable, to say the least, that I've been transforming into a totally different person. It wasn't just my inner parts but my entire persona would soon become someone else who starting her new life as a female. I decided, that was just too good to pass up. I realized how much I wanted this!

Of course, getting much-needed financial help was most welcome but certainly was no longer the focus. To eventually becoming a fertile mother, carrying, and delivering a living, loving person had been impossible to imagine but soon became my ultimate goal!

Now that I decided to take this gigantic step I realized I wanted to be as perfect as a female could be but wondered if I'd be able to learn how to manage that. It's certainly not something that you can just grab a book or watch a video and learn. Jodie was certainly capable of it and she made it seem easy but was it, really?

On Monday I will ask Josie how this whole "getting pregnant" thing works. They haven't mentioned anything about how I could manage that. Do I find a male lover, a boyfriend or husband without ever being with one or even know how share that intimacy? How does this attraction work? Do I get impregnated by in-vitro? So many questions!

I finally became so worked up about all this I decided I needed to try and chill out. While I am relaxing in the tub it dawns on me that this is maybe the 3rd bath I've ever taken as a grown-up gu..girl. Perhaps taking a baths was an indirect result of my training. Maybe I will absorb a female psyche of sorts by osmosis? I looked at my body while in the tub, noticed my tiny boobs peeking up out of the water and they made me smile.

After my bath I stepped out and took a good look at myself. Both Dr. Z and Josie told me not to explore my new body quite yet so all I could do was look in the mirror. It was a temptation to touch myself, of course, but I didn't want to take any chances with my delicate girl parts.

My body is certainly was starting to be more female and less male. My tiny boobs were just that, tiny, but they are bigger than they were. Josie said they were going to continue to grow bigger for at least another month after my program is over and when I get pregnant they will enlarge even more with my baby's milk. So there's another thing, I will be the source of my baby's food! This is becoming too much but I made the commitment so I am just going to have to deal with it. I have so many questions for Josie when I see her on Monday and wished I could
talk to her now.

My hips were definitely wider. I guess that means that Dr. Zillow’s method actually changed my bone structure as well as fat distribution. Those nano things must work continually until they are done. My butt has also gotten a bit rounder, more body fat, for sure. Even my hands and legs are starting to look different. My legs seemed longer. My feet and hands also seem smaller. Looking at my legs I realized I should have shaved my legs so I told myself to do that in the morning. Hopefully I
can get on some kind of schedule since there is so much to remember.

My face still sorta looks like me but noticeably more feminine somehow, like if I had a twin sister. My hair was growing quickly and it looks like they might have some nice curls. That's something I never knew since I'd always kept my hair cut short. My nose seemed smaller, thinner and my cheeks more shapely. Even my chin was different. My eyes seemed the same as before although my lashes maybe got a bit longer. I now had
no other facial hair except my brows and lashes.

After my long day I decided I needed to get some sleep. However, I forgot to buy any sleepwear. Pajamas would be nice, maybe some sort of nightie and a fuzzy robe, but tonight all I had was the same T-shirt I wore under my baggy sweater and it needed to be trashed with my other guy clothes since I only have girl's things now. I ended up sleeping naked.

I must have zonked out since I woke up and the light was still on. I looked at the time and I had slept over 10 hours. I got up, padded around naked and barefoot since I had no slippers yet either. I stepped into my panties and found my bra and felt pretty good about myself so I decided this will mark my official day of womanhood. After I adjusted my little boobs to fit the cups better my bra fit much nicer. My boobs really weren't very big but they were mine and I swear they were noticeably bigger since yesterday. I turned the corner on this and made the right decision. I looked at myself in the mirror and I really liked
her looking back at me. I think I'm starting to look pretty or at least cute.

I made a list of things I needed to get today. Slippers and jammies, for sure, plus some casual stuff, like girlish t-shirts, maybe shorts and yoga pants. I'll ask Josie tomorrow if she can suggest other things I will need but don't know I need.

I had nothing to make breakfast with so I put my new skirt snd blouse on. That made me note that I needed an apron. I stepped into my shoes and when I looked in the mirror I realized I didn't shave my legs yet so I took my skirt off and headed for the bathroom. I was going to have to use the same razor I used to shave my face and body when I was a competitive swimmer but I no longer did that. After I shaved my legs I decided as long as I was shaving I needed to do my underarms as well. Add new razor to my list! Following that I painted my toes as well. I needed the practice, anyway. The polish was a bit kinda messy and it was easy to get the polish on the skin by mistake. They looked nice anyway although I needed practice, for sure. This was starting to be fun! I twirled on my toes and I thought my shaved legs looked pretty nice, even with nick or two. I put my skirt back on and slipped on my shoes and looked into the mirror again and got the idea that I might be able to pull this off after all!

I was about to head out when I realized I didn't have a purse. I put it on my growing list but for now where am I going to put that ever-growing list, plus my key, phone, money, and lipstick? That's when I realized skirts and dresses don't usually come with pockets. I emptied out my funky book bag and decided it would have to do for a purse.

Something else I added to the list was tampons. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to have a period for awhile but I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to be prepared. Josie discussed having periods and I was quite shocked when she mentioned that it was something I would have to deal with the rest of my life unless I was either pregnant or in menopause. I've been reading up about all this but it hasn't all sunk in yet.

Starting out not just as a girl but also as a new renter was going to put a strain on my finances, for sure, but I needed to take care of both. Clothes I could build up as I go but things like food, utensils and grooming needs were a priority. Both lists were long so I highlighted what I thought were immediate needs and headed out even though going out in public was still kinda dicey. I mean I kinda looked female but not enough, in my opinion, to take it for granted.

While I waited for the bus I gave thought to my name. JT wasn't going to cut it and James was absolutely wrong. There wasn't an immediate need but I kept trying popular names like Lisa, Heather, Kathy, and Michelle and more exotic ones like Carmen, Tamara, Bridget. The name that seemed to fit me the best, though, was Carli. It just popped into my mind while waiting for the bus.

I thought I would try it for today and see if it felt right. I even wrote it out so I would see what it looked like. Carli, with an 'i' and a little heart for the 'i'.

The bus arrived and I sat near the front. In a seat across from me a cute boy, about my age, smiled at me as he sat down. I was taken by surprise but quickly returned his smile as I pretended to get back to my list while actually sneaking peeks at him and wondering why I was suddenly thinking this male person was cute. I was about to get up for my stop when he rang the buzzer, got up and headed to the exit. I got up after him but when the bus suddenly lurched forward it caused me to bump against his back.

I apologized but he just smiled and said, "Hey, no problem. You can bump into me anytime. You OK?"

I smiled back, slightly embarrassed and said, "Oh, I'm fine." as I returned his smile.

"You go to the U?" he asked.

"Um, yes, you too?" Just then the door opened and he stepped back and let me go first. His gentlemanly act surprised me as I went ahead.

When we both got out he said, "Hi, my name is Devin. Maybe I'll see you around campus."

"Carli, my name is J...Carli Jane." The name Jane just occurred to me just like Carli. Since I've already been called Carli I figured it was now my name but now I needed to come up with a last name that didn’t have any connection with my former self.

As I turned to leave he said, "Hey, Carli, our frat is having a party next Friday. Why don't you come? It's at Beta."

Thinking it was way too soon to be doing anything like that I just said, "Oh wow, I have a couple of exams coming up so I don't know if I can make it."

"Well, maybe you can just take a break and stop in for just a while."

"Thanks, if I can get my studies done I will." I was so flustered but he seemed so nice and I wished I hadn't started off with a lie about having exams. The fact that he thought I was an attractive co-ed made me smile. It certainly made me wonder if maybe I might actually be interested in guys after all, at least this guy Devin. He was pretty cute and I
surprised myself that I would even think that.

My shopping was a daze. At a drugstore I bought necessities like
shampoo, toothpaste, razor, a bath towel set, bowl, plate and utensils. Next was the 'feminine needs' section and was stunned at the vast variety and selection. Pads, shields, tampons, napkins in different sizes and absorbency. I knew I needed some advice for this from Josie so these future needs would have to wait but it really opened my eyes to this totally female necessity.

The makeup counter was just as confusing as the others were but a salesgirl came up and asked if I needed some help. Needing everything I just said, "I just get so confused. I've never worn much makeup," which was the truth.

She said, "You have nice features. Would you like a quick makeover just to see if you like anything? No pressure and no cost to you. Here, sit and let me show you. I'm Marla."

Reluctant but very curious I sat and Marla grabbed a few items and started on me while explaining what she was doing and why I needed things like foundation, blusher, eye liner, mascara, brow pencils, tweezers and so on. I knew I wouldn't remember much of what she was saying as she happily continued applying mysterious products to my face.

That was a totally foreign feeling; having some stranger putting on all these creams, lotions, powders and fragrances to my face. I wondered if this beauty ritual was meant for the benefit of guys or other girls or for myself. The more I thought about it I came to the conclusion that it was all three. When I was a guy I liked seeing girls who took the time to make themselves pretty butI'd also seen girls who wore far too much makeup.For me it was all new and fascinating and something I knew I wanted to practice.

"You're lucky you have such long lashes," she said, "I have to wear false ones."

I looked at her eyes and she did have very long lashes but I certainly couldn't tell they were false. She expertly used some sort of devise that apparently curled my lashes, then applied mascara and liner around my eyes and brushed my brows saying, "You might want to shape them more, and maybe pluck a few strays." Using tiny brushes she added colored powders to my eyelids, bigger brushes to my cheek area and finished of with a lovely shade of lipstick. She turned me around towards a mirror
and said, "What do you think?"

At first I didn't know it was me. Then it hit me, the power of makeup. I thought I looked stunning! There was absolutely no trace of my old, male self. Looking back at me was a very feminine, very pretty young woman. I beamed! All I could do is say, "Wow, oh wow! I look so nice! You worked wonders. I had no idea!"

Marla just said, "I just accentuated your natural features. You might want to complete your new look and take advantage of a special we have today in our hair salon. Just $10 for a quick styling, you will be amazed. Here, let me take you over there."

"I am so new to all this," I confessed, obviously.

"Oh, we get girls in a lot who just don't have the time or didn't think they were the makeup-type. There is no obligation for these makeovers. We just want every girl to give it a try but it isn't for everybody."

"Well, thank you so much. I love it!" I gushed.

As I sat in a salon chair she introduced me to Yvette who immediately removed my hair band and brushed out my ponytail.

Yvette smiled and said "You have nice hair but you need to take better care of it if you want it to look nice. Brush it out daily, shampoo and condition every other day. Today we will skip the washing but I will add some body and curls. Just sit back and I'll take care of it."

Like Marla, Yvette obviously knew what she was doing, using one of those heated wand things she added curls and body to my hair. She said I might want to have bangs to focus eyes on my pretty face. I was so flattered. It was only 15 minutes or so and turned me around to the mirror and I was again amazed. What a difference it made with my hair flowing, accentuating my made up face. I was definitely looking pretty!

"Oh, thank you so much, Yvette, I love it!" I knew I could never create this magic without lots of practice but for right now I felt like the prettiest girl in the store and wished I could stay this way forever!

As I left I went back by Marla. She squealed, then I squealed, then we both squealed and then she said, "Wonderful, that style is perfect foryou. The guys will be falling all over themselves for you!"

"You really think so?" I beamed.

"Oh definitely, you're gorgeous!"

Marla asked me if I wanted some pictures taken and I definitely did. I handed her my phone, a little bit embarrassed since it looked like a car drove over it but she didn't seem to notice.

"Smile, gorgeous!" she said as I beamed and posed.

I thanked her again, left a tip for both of them and left
feeling confident and, maybe even desirable...to someone.

As I continued shopping I couldn't stop thinking about Marla's comment. "Guys will be falling all over themselves..."

I headed to another thrift store where I managed to find a few tops, another skirt, this one shorter than the last, and a jacket. At a discount shoe store nearby I picked up slippers, socks, a 3-pack of panties and a cute pair of flip-flops. Finally I browsed through a few dresses and tried on a few. I knew I needed to step into them so I wouldn't mess up my hair and makeup. A few of them I couldn't fit over my ever-growing hips. I found two that I just had to buy once I tried
them on. One was flared at the hem, about knee-length, in a flowery pattern, the other was sleek but stretchy so I could easily slip it on. Both, combined with my new look were wonderful. I took a couple selfies in the dressing room in case I never looked this good again. I felt so pretty I wanted to enjoy my new look and hated to go back to my place. I almost decided stay out but I really was tired. Looking in the mirror I
noticed that even my pouty face was kinda cute. All in all it was a very positive day for me and my progress into the world of the female.

Monday morning I was eager for my session with Josie, I had so much to tell and ask her. "How was your weekend?" she asked. Without the horrible details of my ex-roommate's assault I told her all the good parts. I showed her the pictures Marla took and she was impressed.
"See, I knew you would turn out to be very attractive."

"I'm beginning to think so myself. I've already gotten a couple of compliments!"

I climbed on the table and she hooked up the IV and headphones and our session began. This time I noticed many of the pictures were of beauty, fashion, couples, happy households and, of course, babies. There were no male-oriented images at all. While I was double-clicking I noticed she added an additional IV. Later she explained that we were now a week from the end of my program and I would receive my checkup.

She did caution me that my female body would continue to develop for another couple weeks after last session ended.
"I wondered why the new bra I bought seemed tighter. That must be why things I just bought don't fit like they did."

"Yes," she said. "Sorry, but I forgot to mention that. Don't worry, though, the changes should be almost complete so your body is just about finished developing."

I was so pleased to hear that my female body is almost complete and I would finally be a 100% fertile female. I told Josie how excited I was and appreciated all they did for me.

She said, "Getting pregnant is the only thanks we need."

Just outside the door I could hear the sound of girls laughing and talking.

"The girls are here, are you ready to meet them?" asked Josie.

"Um, sure, yes, of course."

She took my hand and when the door opened and saw 3 very lovely and feminine women. I almost thought it couldn't be them. I mean they certainly didn't look like they used to be guys!

The first one said, "Hi, I'm Amanda. You're...?

"Hi, I'm Carli."

"Hi Carli, I'm Wendy. Nice to meet you."

"And I'm Miranda, Hi, Carli."

"Nice to meet you all and I'd like to say you all look very nice.

"Carli! What a wonderful name," said Josie. It suits you very well!"

"Thank you, Josie, I've been trying it out for a few days and I'm very happy with it. Carli Jane, so far. You really think it's a good choice?"

"Oh, definitely, very sweet and feminine!"

She said, "Don't they look nice, Carli?"

"Oh yes, they do, and they seem and act just like the real women they are!" I gushed.

Josie replied "While your genes were being shuffled, some parameters had included positive image implementation."

"That's why we encouraged participants to assume their female persona as soon as possible. As you can see, all 3 of these former males have certainly accomplished that with a little help.They are well on their way to being prospective wives and mothers."

Josie continued, "It may seem a bit sexist to try and make sure you all become attractive women but, sadly, but they are the type who a large portion of men will want to impregnate.That's how it's been since the beginning. Men respond to femininity and beauty. I've been assured that Dr. Z's future program will have more diversity."

"If you have any questions I'm sure they would be glad to fill you in, right, girls?"

They all giggled in unison. It wasn't just that they just looked like girls. No, it was more their demeanor than anything else. They just seemed like they were born female.

Amanda seemed the most sure of herself. She was a very well-- dressed female with mannerisms and persona to match. She spoke up with a big smile. "Well, I have some wonderful news to share, girls! I just saw my OB and I'm pregnant, I'm having a baby!"

We all squealed in delight with hugs around! The fact that I could squeal was a revelation since I hadn't noticed my voice had been changing along with everything else! Not only that but I also discovered my Adam's Apple which used to be quite prominent had disappeared completely! Dr. Z thought of everything!"

Wendy was a big girl, quite tall but still very feminine and attractive. "You're so lucky, Amanda. Bill and I have been trying but..."

Josie, gave her a hug and said, "It will happen, Wendy, and nature, with Dr. Z's help if needed, will make it happen."

Miranda was very exotic-looking and more glamorous than the other two.
She was wearing a tight miniskirt, very high, open-toe heels, expertly styled hair, long, painted nails and elaborate makeup. She was stunning although a bit overdone, I thought, not that I knew anything about all this and certainly not one to judge.

Miranda continued, "I'm still using birth control. I am waiting for the right man and when I find him I'm going to be popping babies out like a Pez dispenser. All the women in my family, at least the past 3 generations, have had at least 6 babies each. My sister, just a few years older than me has already had 3."

"You are totally right to be waiting for the right partner, Miranda. Dr.Z himself would say that your choice in partners is half the battle, so to speak," said Josie. "That your family seems to be quite fertile is certainly advantageous."

Miranda answered, "Yes, my whole family, even my dad, are so excited for me."

All three were so welcoming to me. I felt so mannish compared to them. If I was going to do this I had a lot of work ahead, that's for sure.

"Um, did any of you have any doubts or regrets so far? I asked.

"No way!" they said in sing-song unison.

Amanda said, "At first, like many of us, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I didn't want to be a girl at all but it was really after just a couple sessions and I realized that this is who I should have always been. I'd hoped things would just keep progressing. Finding out I'm going to have a baby was the proof. All I really need to tell you is I couldn't wait to be pregnant and now I am. I have a boyfriend, a baby in my belly and couldn't be happier! I think all of you would agree, right, girls?"

We all nodded and then Miranda said, "Realizing what I know and feel now, I wish I was born female so I could have had the full growing up a girl feeling."

Wendy remarked, "What she said, "Amen, sister! I'm here from deep in the heart of Texas and I'm here to tell ya'll that this ride just keeps getting better'n better. I was your proverbial cowboy, swaggering around like I was God's gift to chicks but now, thanks to Dr. Z and Josie, I cain't wait til one of them macho cowboys saddle me up and ride me off into the sunset!"

Josie added, "For those of you who haven't found a mate yet I'd like to mention, as much as we all are determined to get pregnant, you should make sure you have sowed your wild oats, so to speak, before you decide on a partner. You don't want to feel like you've missed out on experiencing all the passion your female body might desire. Then again, if you meet the right guy and you want to commit then, by all means, go for it!"

"Thank you for the advice, Josie," is all I could say. Personally I was so eager to get pregnant I almost forgot about being picky about choosing prospective mate.

All 4 of these women went to me in a group hug and I felt my first real tears of joy. I was going to try to be a woman, no, I will be a woman, a woman in every possible way. The concept was hard to fathom but I will do my best to follow through and not just conceive a baby but be a loving, caring wife and mother, as well. The thought that inside me right now things are being reconfigured for that very purpose was, for all intents and purposes, a miraculous gift, one I want to take full
advantage of. A calmness flowed through and, for once in my life, I felt sure about who I am and where I'm headed!

Part of this female life is, I've discovered, the instant camaraderie we, as females, seemed to share. Not just idle chatter about hair, makeup and men but deep emotional feelings that, as a guy I had never experienced. It was just not done in that male world.We, I mean they, males, pretty much keep their feelings to themselves, and deny themselves the opportunity of sharing such intimacies.

Before the girls left Josie said that Dr. Z's wife, Mrs. Z, was going to have a baby shower party for Josie the next week and all of us were invited. Of course I had never been to anything like that and maybe none of us girls had but Josie was so excited.

After the 3 girls left Dr. Zillow came in, smiling. "Hello, JT, or have you changed your name?"

"Actually, yes, I am now Carli, with an 'i', Carli Jane Thomas."

"Pretty name for a pretty girl." He remarked. "As Josie may have told you, you will be ending your session in a week. At that time there will be bi-weekly follow-ups for 4 months to make sure your markers are correct. After that a 6 month checkup twice a year is recommended. We are quite pleased with your progress and you will be paid $10,000 after the final session. Any questions?"

"Well, right now I am stunned by everything that's happened but feel like the money isn't as important as my new life. I don't know what I would have done without you and Josie! And yes, I still have many questions about entering this mysterious womanhood."

"Ah, of course, the Feminine Mystique!" the Dr remarked with a wink. We are always willing to answer any and all questions. Isn't that right, Josie?"

I looked her way and she was beaming with joy. "Yes, you can always call me, day or night, and I will do my best to answer any question."

Dr. Z then added, "I admit that when we first met I wasn't sure if you would be a candidate for our program but you fooled me. Carli, I must say you seemed to have turned out to be a model specimen of womanhood. That being said, it's awkward, I know and an imposition but I must but I must conduct a complete physical on you. This is a critical phase we are entering and I must assure that all is well. Agreed?"

It isn't like I had much say in this but actually I was quite curious about it anyway. I nodded yes.

"Ok, let's head over to the examination room," said Josie, "I'll get you set up, OK?"

"Josie, I trust you. Whatever you say." Just then she gasped and bent over.

"Oh my god, are you OK?"

She slowly straightened up and said, "It's just Braxton-Hicks. It will pass."

"Who or what is Brackmanicks?" I asked.

"It's not people, well it was two people but now it means a kind of an early labor pain. Some of us have them, some don't. I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess."

She sighed as she gained her composure. "Oh, she's moving, you want to feel her?"

"Gosh yes, I think I better get used to things like that," as she placed my hand on her very large belly. At first I didn't feel a thing and then suddenly I felt a kick. "Oh wow, that was her, him, her?" I said stupidly.

"Yes, baby is active today."

I began to tear up and said, "Oh my, that was amazing! Can I try again?"

"Yes, of course," she smiled.

Feeling Josie's baby move might have been the most remarkable thing I’d ever felt. The connection with this third entity could only be described as the definition of life itself! That moment cemented by decision, not that I wasn't going to finish the program anyway, but now I knew I wanted to have a baby inside me more than anything.

I changed into a gown and Dr. Z walked in just as I laid down. Josie grabbed my ankles and placed my feet in the stirrups. So these are the notorious stirrups I've heard about, I thought to myself.

Dr Z. explained that what he will perform is the same exam any female would have to endure. "It isn't painful at all but it can be embarrassing. Please know that this is necessary to ensure your completion will be a safe and healthy one.Ready?"

I nodded yes and Josie winked at me and said, "The first time is the worst, believe me. I am used to them now. We made sure to warm the speculum first so it's a little less shocking, at first."

"Thank you for that, I guess," I said tentatively.

So there I was, on my back with my legs propped up in the stirrups and my legs spread wide. This was definitely a first and certainly wouldn’t be my last.

"This is the speculum and I will use it to inspect your nearly completed urethra and uterus."

For some reason I decided to ask, "Do I need to say 'AHH'," which made both of them laugh.

Let me tell you, having something that feels like a couple of spoons shoved into your most private of parts and then spread apart was a strange and foreign feeling for sure. I hadn't even dared explore down down there myself and here he was, spreading my labia apart and, with a light, was inspecting my most intimate parts.

Then he got behind me and felt around my breast tissue and said my breasts were in good health and said I would make some very healthy babies. At the same time Josie was taking my pulse, temperature and my other vitals.

When they were done he said, "Carli, you are, as far as I and the entire medical field is concerned, 100% female. Congratulations!"

Hearing those words made me so proud and happy! The doctor said that it would take another month or so to determine if I was, indeed, a fertile female and that would be when I had my first menstruation but all the signs looked good. He did caution me that I needed to avoid any intercourse for week. I made a note of that.

The doctor extended his hand but I wasn't going to let him get away without a warm hug and a kiss in the cheek. He seemed a bit shy but I hugged him and then whispered in his ear, "You don't know how much this means to me, thank you, thank you, thank you!" and I kissed him on the cheek again. Then I reached out to Josie and we had a group hug. I pretty much whispered the same thing and kissed her cheek too.

Excitedly I shouted, "I'm going to be a mother, I'm going to have one of those!" as I patted Josie's belly. The doctor, of course, told me not to get ahead of myself.

Then Josie said, "I know, let's celebrate when you have your first period."

The doctor blushed a bit then smiled and said, "Good idea, I'll treat,” he said.

I couldn't believe that these sessions would be over soon. I feel like becoming a mother is what I have always thought I should be doing but I just never realized it before. What really sold me was when I placed my hand on Josie's belly and felt her baby move. The baby's movements definitely stirred my soul, the same feeling shared by all other mothers, and mothers-to-be.

I said my goodbyes and headed back to my place and I truly did feel like I was walking on air. This is what happiness feels like!

I hand-washed a few things and then decided I should figure out what to do with my hair. I messed around with a curling wand but I needed much more insight on how to deal with hair. It dawned on me that I would no longer be in danger of going bald, thank you, estrogen!

With all that had been going on I forgot Devin's frat party was next weekend and I was eager to see him again but wanted to make sure I looked attractive since he might be excellent father and husband material. As far as I knew he was smart, handsome, polite and compassionate and the total opposite of my former roommate, Duane.

Duane tried his best to ruin my life but, in fact, he did me a favor by forcing me to not only leave the security of a dormitory for a place of my own but his behavior convinced me to follow Josie's path to become a mother; it became my destiny! Besides, I had, with Dr. Z's approval and help, a plan to get even with Duane.

In the meantime I arranged to have lunch with Josie so I could get some hair styling tips and maybe she could help me pick out some cute things to wear. We met on Wednesday, one of her days off. We had a nice lunch while sitting in a cute cafe outside. She noticed I was checking out many of the guys walking by.

"Was I that obvious?" I asked.

"You were practically drooling," she said, laughing.

" Well, I did think that tall guy in the suit seemed like boyfriend material."

"I don't blame you, I was the same way. I was never interested in men at all until I went through the program.But just a year later I found Michael, or rather, Michael found me, and, in a matter of months, he made me pregnant."

"Are you two going to get married?"

"Oh yeah, he is finishing his Masters in August and we set the date for September. We'll have to have you over to the house sometime so you can meet him."

"I'd love that! Does he have a brother?" I said jokingly, sounding like a desperate college girl.

Josie smiled at my remark then asked "So do you have any other
questions?"

"As a matter of fact, lots, but I really need some help with this menstrual thing." Luckily we were outside and nobody near us so we wouldn't gross anyone out.

"Of course you do. It's obviously a total female thing and a guy would pass out if he had to deal with it." We both laughed at that. She explained all the details, and showed me an app to help me keep track of my ovulation schedule.

"Ok, that tells me a lot. Now what kinds of items will I need?" I had looked around in a store and there were so many things to consider. “Do I need all of them?"

"Oh, I know what you mean. That's why it's important to keep track of your cycle. Most of us are 28 days or so. I usually put in a shield a few days before my cycle starts, just in case, then maybe a pad but usually a tampon. I use those for my heaviest days and sometimes a shield or pad also. Some of us use a menstrual cup which fits inside your vagina to collect spent blood. Usually by the 3rd day I can just use a shield but we are all different in amounts of flow and duration of menstruation. If you think you don't want a period and don't want to get
pregnant either you could always take birth control pills which prevents both. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, I think I understand."

Josie continued, "To top it all off you should be prepared for PMS and cramps also! Maybe you have heard about girls getting cramps and it is all true, your emotions will go out of whack with moodiness, anxiety, bloating, even acne. You just have to deal with it. Ibuprofen helps."

Hearing all this I was feeling overwhelmed but she wasn't done yet.

"Oh, and one very important thing to mention."

"Now what?" I wondered.

"Never, ever wear white pants, short or skirts anytime near your period or you will be sorry, for obvious reasons."

"Wow, we girls have it tough, this is a lot of responsibility, isn't it. I mean that is something that never would have occurred to me."

"You will do fine, it just takes practice. It's just another joyful moment in being female, with blood gushing out of you and maybe cramping and mood swings too, for good measure. Just think of it as practice for labor pains." she laughed.

"Most important, though, is to not expect the guy to provide protection if you're going to have sex. Just one lapse and you could end up with an unwanted tiny stranger living with you for 18 years or more or, worse, you contract a STD!

"Very good thing to remember, for sure," I said, wide-eyed.

I tried not to think about that but couldn't help it. I remember having to use one the few times I had sex as a guy and it was definitely a mood-killer.

I asked told Josie about that. "Well, you can make it part of the fun by offering to put it on for him. That way you can slowly slide it down on his hardness and maybe get him more excited. Guys seem to like that, or so I've heard."

"I see what you mean, I'll have to remember that," I said.

"Well now that's out of the way..." And I proceeded to ask her all sorts of questions about clothes, shoes, makeup and handbags. She decided it would be easiest if we just went shopping.

She led me around to some stores, picking up things here and there and making me try them on. I ended up with 4 dresses of different lengths and styles, 6 skirts, 2 pairs of shorts, a half dozen tops and blouses, a jacket, and a few accessories like scarfs and jewelry. She also reminded me I should get my ears pierced.

I asked her about hosiery and she said that most girls don't wear nylon stockings or pantyhose anymore, that the bare-legged look was more popular. She told me that she wears pantyhose sometimes because she likes the way they make her legs look and keeps her legs warmer. Having cold legs from being exposed like that is something I had never thought of. I guess I should also be careful if it's windy. I made a mental note of that. She did say leggings were always fun to wear, though, and showed me all the differences in the hosiery department.

Next was a shoe store.Oh my! So many styles, so much color and style. She said she had lots of heels already but a girl can't have too many. I found out what she meant after trying on many pairs. I ended up with just 2 pairs of heels for now, one dressy closed-toe with a 4" heel and strappy, open-toe for dress-up and parties.Also bought a pair of flats, sandals and heeled boots. I shudder to think how much all this costs but I dearly needed all of it. Little did I know that shoes would become an addiction but I sense that many of us girls suffer the same feeling.

It's good that I am getting used to refer to myself as 'one of us' as in 'one of the girls' which I really feel I have almost become.

Our last stop was the makeup counter. This was as dizzying as the shoe department. Josie liked the makeover I had and as did I so she looked for familiar colors that the cosmetician used on me. Josie was kind enough to say that I really didn't need much makeup snd she only wore it when it was something important. I noticed she never wore much to work, just a bit of lip gloss and some mascara and always looked so fresh and healthy.

Josie wanted to help carry my purchases to my apartment and I had to\ insist she not even try in her condition. I was a bit embarrassed about my apartment as it was so spartan but she said it was cute. I thanked her again, for EVERYTHING. I wouldn't have made it this far without her inspiration. We hugged and she headed home to her soon-to-be husband and I admit I was so envious. Soon she will have a family of her own and mine will soon follow, I hope, I hope, I hope!

Josie's baby shower turned out to be fun. Amanda, Wendy, Miranda and I were greeted by Josie and Mrs Z. or Helen as she wanted to be called. Also present was another woman about Helen's age named Kathleen who happened to be a pediatrician and a long-timed friend of the Z's. We were treated to a very nice lunch at the Zillow's wonderfully appointed home. We were all intent on the knowledge Dr. Kathleen dispensed on everything regarding maternity.

Helen had some fun games for us to play but mostly we talked about our future lives as mothers. Dr. K told us that we were certainly welcome to her clinic.

It was a very special baby shower for a very special mother-to-be, for sure, and we future moms were so grateful for all the information we received from Dr. K, Mrs. Z and, of course, Josie. Being the first of our kind to go through the initial programming made her our heroine.

My last session was pretty much the same routine as the last two except this time I just heard heartbeats, babies cooing, gurgling, crying, and all the curious, adorable sounds babies make. I listened intensely to each one and felt them deep in my heart. If they were trying to instill a loving nurturing soul they succeeded spectacularly. I caught myself unconsciously rubbing my tummy as if I already had a baby in there.

I realized what a genius Dr. Zimmer was to create this amazing project. Because of him, his army of former men turned into loving mothers may help save civilization from the brink of extinction. I am so proud to be that kind of soldier. It's hard to believe that just a little over 2 months ago I was stuck in school and just one more over-the-hill student athlete with no other plan.It's been a wild ride, indeed!

This last session was kind of anti-climatic. After 30 minutes of
listening to more baby sounds my session just became Josie and I talking about our futures and both of us having a house full of kids and eventually both of us becoming grandmothers. We both agreed that having some grandchildren to spoil would be the perfect thing to happen to us!

After that I hurried home to get ready for Devin's frat party. This was my first social activity as Carli and had no idea how college girls dressed for something like this, much less acted. I'm sure there will lots of drinking and such going on but I was never a drinker and not much of a partner, either. There was probably no sense in getting too dressed up. I did add some curls to my hair with my curling iron. I did have my ears pierced, two on each lobe. I did my nails with this lovely
light blue color. Did my toes too, just in case; in case of what, I had no idea. I tried on a blouse with peasant sleeves, at least that's what the sales girl called them and a loose, knee length skirt and the outfit seemed to work or at least I thought it did. Look at me, I used to think a clean t-shirt and semi-new pair of shorts was good enough to wear just about everywhere. Now I wanted to not just look nice for others but to
feel good about myself.

The only people I have spent any time with are the doctor and Josie so this party was going to be much, much different. I wasn't sure how much makeup I should wear.I tried one look and I went too heavy on the eyeliner and ended up looking too goth.Finally I settled on some grey eye shadow, a bit of mascara, much less eyeliner and finished off with little blush on my cheeks and my current favorite, Urban Decay Vice lipstick.

I was going to change clothes again but told myself to not be so fussy since I didn't know anyone except Devin and no one knows me so I'll just have to see how I do as a girl at her first party. At least this way I can measure my progress by seeing how others reacted to me, especially the other girls. I knew from personal experience that some guys didn’t really pay that much attention to how us girls looked unless our boobs were falling out.

It was walking distance from my apartment to the frat house. It was just getting dark and already there were kids all over the house, music blasting, lots of laughing and yelling. Suddenly I caught sight of this large, loud guy telling his buddies some thing and they all howled and punched each other's arms. It was Duane and his cronies! He looked right past me, luckily, but I was thinking that maybe I wasn't ready for this and was about to turn around when I heard someone say "You're not leaving already, are you?" It was Devin. He was just as cute as I remember. (Easy there Carli).

"Oh, hi, no I, well um yes I was." I was so nervous but he calmed me right down.

He said, "Well I was thinking about taking a little walk. I had a final earlier and I worried I messed up so I don't feel like celebrating or anything like that." He seems so normal, so thoughtful and kind.

I said, "Um, maybe we can walk together. I'm shy at parties and I don’t know anybody."

"Yeah, I'm not really much of a partier either. A stroll with a pretty girl seems like a much better idea," he said.It took me a second to realize he meant me!

Ask me if I can't believe my ears, he thinks I'm pretty! As we headed towards the lake neither one of us spoke. We stopped at a viewpoint and he asked if I wanted to sit. I said I did and he actually swept the bench clear for me. WOW! What a gentleman. It never occurred to me that such a nice, subtle act could mean so much.

"So where are you from, originally? he asked.

"Barstow, in California. What about you?"

"New York City. Gotham. Ever been?"

"No, I've been in Barstow and here. I like it here much better."

"What's your major? Mine is English Lit, just boring stuff," I said, making small talk.

"I was majoring in Foreign Studies, I think I'd like to work overseas.” he said.

"What would you be doing over there?" I asked, hoping he wasn't leaving any time soon.

"Community organizing. There are places with no real system in place to inform the locals of the opportunities that might be made available if they only knew about them."

"That's very admirable. It's doing selfless work because it makes such a difference to others. I admire that quality."

He thanked me and something mysterious, electric, happened; it was like our eyes locked together, sharing thoughts without words. I know he felt it too.

"Um, you want to go sit and have a cup of espresso? I know of a place."

"Yes, I would. That sounds nice," I answered, even though I'd never had expresso in my life.

He would later correct me, telling me it's pronounced espresso not expresso. I had so much to learn! We continued our walk at a leisurely pace until we reached what looked like a tiny cottage near the lake. He opened the door and the sound of cool music wafted in. He led me inside and I was enchanted by what seemed like some sort of Bohemian coffee house with vintage jazz posters and dim lighting. The walls were all bookcases filled with hardbound books. Again, like everything else lately, this was all an new experience for me.

We found a table in a corner and Devin asked what I wanted. I said a cappuccino like I knew what that was and he went to the counter and ordered for us. While he was standing there waiting for our order I found myself watching him, his cool demeanor and strong, healthy body. Was I subconsciously sizing him up as a possible daddy? When he returned with our drinks we made small talk, telling each other about our respective families and such. I told him again how admirable I thought his plans were. He said that it was something he felt like he had to do even thought meant leaving his family and friends.

It dawned on me that perhaps he wasn't the type to get settled and have a family of his own. I pretended to be supportive but inside I would be sad to not see him in the future.

We didn't speak for a minute or two, we just looked at each other. Nervous, I finally said, "Yum, the coffee is real good, stronger than I'm used to but it tastes so rich and flavorful."

He nodded and smiled and said, "It's hard to compare this to the stuff I used to drink at home. That tasted like dirty dishwater."

When we left he asked if I wanted to go back to the party and I said I was tired out from the day and would head home. "I'll walk you there,” he said as we headed out.

Despite the feeling that he might not be the fathering kind it still felt nice to wrap my arm around his. He pulled me closer and we walked leisurely back, arm in arm, kind of like boyfriend and girlfriend, sorta. We got to my door and said our goodbyes.

I really wanted to ask him up but I was a bit embarrassed about my sad little empty apartment. I unlocked the outside door, thanked him for a lovely evening, then impulsively turned around and quickly kissed him on the lips. I turned back around and quickly closed the door but I just stayed there, leaning against it, thinking about him. I hoped I'd see him again.

As I lay in bed I thought about the kiss. My first kiss with a man. It felt so right!I then wondered how right it would feel if he made love to me, was inside of me.

My hand drifted down to my crotch and, parting my labia with my fingers I explored my girl parts for the first time. I had refrained from doing much there as it was all being transformed into, as the doctor said, "100% female" but it was finally time to get to know my body better.

With my index finger I began pressing on and around my clitoris and it felt incredibly sensitive, like a buzz of electricity coursing through my body. What a feeling!I also seemed a bit wet!

Using 2 fingers I massaged it, running my fingers along it, squeezing it and it felt amazing. I saw stars. I let my fingers drift down to the opening. I don't know how it got so moist but my finger slid easily inside me. How wonderful, how moist and warm and soft and so different from what used to be there.

I let myself imagine that it was Devin's finger inside me and how wonderful that would be.

For the first time in my life I liked who I was and totally loved the new me and wished I had been born a girl now that I know how wonderful it could have been. I fell asleep thinking of unicorns, rainbows, boyfriends and babies.

Mommy, mommy, mommy. Chapter 4

I woke up after the best sleep I've had in weeks thinking about my evening with Devin. How comfortable I was with him and knew I wanted to be with him again.

Looking back I was now so much more confident and happy. I pulled back my hair up into a loose, messy bun, wore a loose blouse and skirt and sandals, wore a bit of mascara, eye liner and lip gloss and felt so feminine. Grabbing my purse I headed to Room 01, maybe for the last time, to have my Exit Interview with Josie.

I was smiling to everybody I passed when I suddenly stopped. Coming toward me was my awful ex-roommate, Duane, surrounded, as usual, by his gang of stooges. This time I wasn't going to let him intimidate me so I continued walking towards them. When Duane saw me and snickered to his pals, "Hey, check out this sweet meat headed this way!" he bellowed like usual, but he didn't recognize me.

"Why should he, I am a different person?" I thought. I walked straight for them and they all moved out of my way as I forced a smile at them.

"Whoa, babe, what's your hurry, I got something for you," as he pointed at his crotch.

Acting totally disinterested I said "Sorry, I don't play with little boys," and kept going. His buddies all howled at him and I could tell he was mad at me for making a fool of him but I just kept going, even though I was shaking inside. It's almost like he and I are destined to be involved in each other's lives, for some reason. That made me shudder but I did have a plan to get even.

Josie greeted me at the door and said, "Welcome to your ‘graduation' party! You have come as far as we can take you so we'd have a little celebration first, and we can do the interview after, OK?"

The other girls were here also and I saw they had decorated the room with balloons and a paper banner that read, "Happy Soon-To-Be-A Mother's Day!” There was a lovely pink cake with a pregnant mother figurine on top surrounded with tiny babies. Once again I got all teary. This was such a nice surprise!

Doctor Z. was all smiles as he handed me a check for $10,000 and said, "Now I expect to see you back here soon with a big, pregnant belly, young lady!"

I hugged him again only this time he expected it and hugged me back. I kissed his cheek again and he blushed again as I wiped my lipstick print from his cheek. I was going to miss them all. Walking through Room 01 turned my life upside-down and, ultimately, made me proud to be who I now am.

Josie tapped her champagne glass, well, a plastic cup, and said, “Ladies, I have an another announcement to make. Dr. Zillow said that the program has had such amazing success that 7 other countries are asking to adopt it. I'll let him explain it. Dr. Z?"

"As you all know the program has succeeded beyond expectations. As a result, countries with a desperately declining birthrate crisis have inquired about initiating the program in their countries. I am astounded at the positive reception it has received. I have to thank each and every one of you women. You ARE the program in my eyes. Thank you for your courage and your trust in me. When I say 'me' I mean Josie as well. She has been here since day one and I feel deserves half the credit."

With that we all cried as Josie went up to the the doctor and the two of them hugged deeply, whispering to each other. It resembled a father/daughter moment. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Even Dr.Z was a bit teary.

After the party everyone left so Josie could conduct my Exit Interview. There were no IV's, headphones or video screens this time. Instead she just asked me some basic questions which I was to answer honestly.

#1. Are you satisfied with the results of your transition?
...Totally, even better than I thought.

#2. Do you think you will enjoy life more now than previously?
...Definitely. I was going nowhere but now I have a destination, a calling.

#3. If you could change anything about the process what might that be?
...Not a thing, it's perfect as it is. Well it could be faster! I kidded.

#4. Were you surprised by anything during the process or after?
...That is was essentially painless and the results are incredibly amazing.

#5. Before the process did you have any desire to start a family?
...No, none.

#6. Before the process did you ever consider or want to be female?
...No, never.

#7. Now that you are a fertile female how many children do you think you want?
...As many as I can.

#8. Were you attracted to men before the process?
...No, not at all.

#9. Are you now attracted to males?
...Yes, I'm pretty sure I am although I can't quite believe it myself. Not only that but I have no attraction to females now, I mean sexually.

#10. If the financial aspect of the plan did not exist do you think you would continue in this program.
... Tough question. The money is attractive but if I knew then what I know about motherhood, I would still want to be a part of it even without the money aspect.

After reading off her list of questions she asked, "Now do you have any questions you've been waiting to ask me? We want to hear questions, impressions, complaints as well as success stories from all of you girls who have completed the entire process so ask me about anything you want to know. Just realize that all your questions and answers will become part of the resulting Q&A which will be extremely helpful for future
applicants. Are you willing to be very open about these personal questions?"

"Yes, of course! I've been wanting to know about certain intimate things but was too embarrassed to ask," I said.

She said, "You want to know what it's like to be with a man. Am I right"?

I nodded, then asked, "So were you curious in touching his penis for the first time? I'm wondering what it will be like for me to actually feel a man's cock, I don't know if I can do that."

Josie thought for minute, then said, "The best way to explain it is to tell you about my first time. I was, like you, very nervous about it but at the same time excited about it. He was someone I met casually, we dated a few times and did some kissing and such but by then I knew I wanted more, I wanted him. Well, not him specifically, but I knew I wanted to have intercourse with a man. Naturally, I was very apprehensive at first but he was kind and gentle and something just clicked in me and it just seemed so right."

I listened intently as she continued. "I quickly undressed and, as I did, I watched his expression and it was apparent he liked what he saw. This was the first time a man other than Dr. Z saw my naked, female body, and from the look in this man's eyes I passed the test. He quickly undressed as well and I noticed he was already aroused. I smiled, then tentatively reached down and touched his hardness. Grasping it I began to stroke it and he began to moan in pleasure. I knew what that felt like when a girl did that to me but this was so different. I just laid
back, still grasping him, spread my legs open and just guided him in. I was so wet by then he slid in easily. It felt so wonderful to be filled like that down there, to feel his hardness buried deep in me. It felt so natural, so right, as he began to slide in and out of me. My entire body felt alive!"

After hearing her description I realized that being close to a man is not only something I wanted but also needed. I didn't dare tell Josie that her description made me a bit wet down there.

"Um, did you, um..."

"Did I suck on it? Absolutely! It was really fun and I know guys really like it. I know I used to when...".

I blurted out "Oh, I know, I...I mean I used to love it, not that it happened very often, well, once. Did you swallow as well?"

"You know, that first time I really tried to but I chickened out and just went back to sucking him with his cum still in my mouth so I sorta found out that it really didn't taste bad but I spit it out anyway. Now I swallow all the time and he really seems to appreciate it. Remember that his semen is what will eventually impregnate you so don't think of it as 'icky'; it's a gift, if you think of it that way."

"Well I was worried about that but you make it sound better than I thought."

Josie replied, "Well to give him oral sex is totally up to you, of course, but personally I really like it. It feels good to suck on one, they are so hot and hard. How far you can take it in depends on your gag reflex."

"You mean, like deep throating him?" I asked.

"Yes. Of course, it depends on your lover's penis, how long, how thick and so forth. The gagging reflex is what makes the difference. It took me awhile but I realized I just had to relax. If you tense up it will be much more difficult. A trick I learned is to wrap your fingers around your left thumb. For some reason that lessens the gag effect."

"Well I guess I better remember that if I ever..."

"Of course deep throating is up to you but your lover would really appreciate it. Have you ever had anyone do it to you, you know, before?” she asked.

"No, I guess I wish I had known what it was like then but I never had much opportunity." I sighed.

"Well, you can certainly find out what it is like on the receiving end. Who knows, you might be really good at it!" she winked.

Josie continued, "Intercourse is the best, though, especially if he knows what he's doing. It's a lot more complicated for us girls and therefore expecting to have an orgasm every time can be disappointing. If the guy knows what you like then hang on, sister, you will be in for the ride of your life!"

"Wow, now I can't wait! It's quite a shock that I feel this way about men. I mean I never..."

"That's because you weren't female before. It's how it all works. Now your desires are what drives most females, to find a man to impregnate you. The fact that it can be so pleasurable is a bonus! My advice to you is to just let it happen. The first time will seem awkward and maybe you won't feel real pleasure but believe me, eventually you will."

"I assumed they all feel different, I mean, you know, big, small, cut, uncut but I just don't know if I could even touch one, much less, you know..." I said.

"Well unless you turn out to be a lesbian you are probably going to find out how much fun the sex can be. Making love to a man is nothing like a man making love to a woman, not that I have much experience with the latter. I just had sex with a few girls and, while it felt good it doesn't compare with the overall experience of being a female and having a man make love to you. With a female orgasm you will feel it all through your body, not just one moment of ejaculation with a penis," she said.

I sat quietly for a few minute while I let all this sink in. Josie was patiently waiting for me, letting me gather my thoughts.

"Well, the only way to really know is for me to try so that's what I’ll do. I mean millions, billions of women have done it and most probably enjoyed it so why shouldn't I?"

"That's my girl, Carli! I'm pretty darn sure you will love it," she said.

After we had our hugs and pecks on cheeks I left for home humming and skipping all the way. If I would have known the words I would have sung "I enjoy being a girl!" After I got home to my sorry-looking home, though, I felt a little empty inside. My whole world turned around since I went to Room 01 but that was over now. I was on my own now. The only sure thing was I decided to drop out of school. I mean, what am I going to do with a degree in English Lit? The $10,000 check would help me get settled somewhere and get busy finding a husband or, at least, a sperm donor, I hoped, so I was on the computer looking for different options.

I needed to find work somewhere to support myself. I thought of offering myself as a surrogate mother but the thought of carrying a baby for 9 months and then have it taken away was too much to bear. It was strange to think that what I was now searching for was an "Impregnator" for lack of a better word.

I was so intent that I didn't hear the door buzzer at first. I answered the intercom and it was Devin. "Mind if I come up?" he asked.

"Um, give me a minute, then I'll buzz you in, OK?"

I scurried around trying to neaten and hide things. I threw my comforter over the bed, ran a brush through my hair and put on some lipgloss. That was going to have to do so I buzzed him. Apologizing for the mess I asked him in.

"Sorry to just drop in but I was in the neighborhood and...well, actually I wasn't nearby. I just wanted to see you again. I hope that's OK?"

"No problem and it's more than Ok. I wanted to see you again too," I said.

"I've never met a girl quite like you. I think we hit it off right away and when I left I felt an emptiness deep down."

Oh my, I thought, he really likes me but then he said, "So what I have to say makes this just more difficult and I hope you understand." I was worried now, what could it be?

"I told you my goals about working in countries that need help. Well I just got an offer to go to Puerto Rico to help after the hurricane. I really feel like I have to jump at this, even if it doesn't work out for me, at least I tried but the good news is that is just for 6 months. I don't want to lose contact with you since I'd like to get to know you much better but I feel like I have to do this."

"If you're asking if you should go, I'd have to say yes. if you’re asking me if I want you to go I'd have to say no. I too would like to get to know you better but you have your priorities. Six months isn’t forever and I'll probably still be here when you get back." Deep down inside, I had doubts I'd ever see him again if he left but I held back my tears.

Devin said, "I knew you would be understanding. I haven't told anyone else. I am supposed to leave tomorrow so I had to make a decision. I hardly know you and it pains me to leave you already!"

"I feel the same but I don't want to be one of those girls that forces someone she likes to make a decision like this. Go, do your good work, then come back to me, OK?"

I really wanted to tear up but I didn't want him to see. I got up and asked him if could fix him some tea or instant coffee. "Sorry, it's all I have to offer."

"Thanks, but no. If I am leaving there are things I have to do."

"I understand. Well maybe a kiss to remember you by?"

He turned to me and I closed my eyes as I felt his warm lips on mine. I actually felt like I was melting in his arms as I parted my lips and he slipped his tongue against mine. He probed my mouth with his tongue, thrilling me. His hand went to my breast which caused me to thrust my chest towards him and he gently kneaded my breast. I moaned in passion as I ran my hands over his body, his chest and arms, marveling his manly body. He pulled away, laid me on my back and ran his hands over my body.

As I felt myself melting at his touch I whispered in his ear, "Take me!” and he began to unbutton my blouse. My boobs were heaving at that point. He pulled my bra straps down and revealed my breasts. He said they were lovely as he kissed each one and gently nibbled on one breast while kneading the other. I was delirious with excitement.

I helped him take his shirt off and I ran my hands over his chest. His manly body was so different from mine, especially now. He unzipped his fly. pulled his pants and shorts off and climbed on top of me. I pulled my skirt up and slid my panties down the best I could as he lowered himself to me. To feel his weight on me felt right, it all felt so right.

He reached down and I could feel his hand go to my crotch. I took a deep breath and thought, 'Here goes', as he explored my most private parts. Without thinking I spread my legs and I was open to him. I grasped for his manhood and felt the veins, the hardness, the heat, as he moved towards my waiting, anxious vagina.

"Put it in, please!" I begged. I wanted him inside me! I felt the tip of his hardness contact my labia which was already very wet with desire. Slowly I felt him penetrate my folds and felt just a bit of pain when he broke my hymen, (Dr. z thought of everything!) then continued a long, slow journey deep inside me. It felt glorious and so much better than I expected. Again and again he slid in and out of me, slowly, passionately as what seemed like a wave of electricity coursed through my body. In
the back of my mind I realized too late that he wasn't wearing any protection yet I didn't stop him. I wanted him to fill me with his semen as his penis filled my vagina.

I had never felt pleasure like this. It felt amazing to be penetrated. He continued his movement until he suddenly stopped, pulled out and said, "Oh man, I'm not wearing a condom and I don't have one, you wouldn't by any chance..." I just moaned. "Don't stop" and he was back inside me. I wrapped my legs around his hips and he began to pound into me, harder, deeper as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me. I felt him tense up and I knew he was close. I thought I would feel a splash inside me on to my "lady parts" but I just felt his thickness pulsing, throbbing inside me. Finally he collapsed onto me and we melted together as one. After I finally felt him slip out of me we just laid together, breathless. Finally he sat up and pulled me up towards himself and we sat there together, both stark naked.

For a minute I tried to cover my breasts until I realized how silly that was, I mean he had just entered my precious private part, what difference did it make now if he sees my naked boobs? For some reason I pulled my blouse over myself in feigned modesty anyway.

He got dressed and I did the same. We kissed some more and then I said, "You better get going, you have a lot to do before tomorrow."

"Yes, you're right. Thanks you for this, I had no thoughts of being with you like this but I am so glad I did."

"Me too. It was wonderful. Better than I expected."

He looked surprised and said, "You mean..."

"Yes, you are my first. Thank you for making love to me!"

I led him to the door where we had one long, loving kiss and just like that he was gone. I closed the door, then wondered what I had just let happen. Should I have done that? I mean he didn't use a condom and I didn't want him to. For all I know I could already be making a baby. I was supposed to wait until my first period but that hadn't even happened yet.

As usual I called Josie. "Well, sure it is possible that you have been impregnated. Having a period isn't a necessity to get pregnant but it is proof that your uterus is fertile. You know you can always take a pregnancy test if you are worried. We thought you might experience your first period within a month so I'd just wait until then."

She also cautioned me about unprotected sex. "Many girls have met a guy and done what you did. It's normal but you need to be cautious. Unprotected sex can cause many issues and getting pregnant is usually the only good one."

"I know, it was stupid but I may never see him again. Plus I am so envious of you being pregnant," I said.

"Well you know being pregnant is not something to take lightly. Along with morning sickness, pains like Braxton-Hicks, being pregnant includes carrying a bowling ball around for 9 months, delivering and then raising a total stranger. It isn't very glamorous and it's often painful and very uncomfortable," she cautioned.

"Yes, I hope I know what to expect, no pun intended, but I am eager to get started."

Josie replied, "Well, you know you can count on me for hel…….." Suddenly the phone went dead.

"Josie, Josie, are you there?" I was frantic. What happened? Not knowing who else to call I dialed Room 01 and, luckily Dr. Zillow answered.

"Yes? Who's calling."

"Dr. Zillow, this is Carli. Sorry to bother you but I was just talking to Josie and her phone went dead!"

"Oh dear," he said. "I know where she lives, I will head over there. Please call 911 for me." and he gave me her address.

An hour later Dr.Z called me. "She's doing as well as can be expected. She delivered her baby 3 weeks premature and there are always issues when the baby is delivered that soon. They are in good hands, though, and I think both mother and baby will be fine. She asked for you, though, so if you are willing she is at Angels Maternity Hospital, room 402."

She could use some company, for sure. Her boyfriend had been with her but he said he had to go back to work or get fired so he had to leave the hospital. I thought it was so mean that Josie's boyfriend could be fired for being at her side.

It seemed like forever for the bus to reach the hospital. I hurried up to her room and she was asleep. Not wanting to disturb her I went out and asked a nurse if I could see her baby. They said the baby was in intensive care but I could look through a window. She said Josie's son was on the left with the blue cap. I got as close as I could and saw this tiny, wrinkled being. I didn't know what the dad looked like but it seemed like her son looked just like Josie. My heart was aching! How
could this happen to my dearest friend and her baby? A few minutes later the nurse told me Josie was awake.

I tiptoed into her room and went to her bedside. As I stroked her head she opened her eyes and gave me a weary smile. "Oh Carli, I'm so sorry, I dropped my phone and I got dizzy trying to pick it up and must have passed out ...".

I said, "No apology necessary! I'm just so sorry this happened to you and your baby. You know, you should have known better, bending over in your condition! You would have raised holy hell if I did that! I called Dr. Zillow first thing and he rushed over to your place to check on you and called the EMTs. He said you delivered prematurely but you and your baby would be just fine."

"My baby? He, she's OK?" she wondered, with tears in her eyes as she tried to look around the room.

"Yes, you had a beautiful baby boy. He's a premie so he is in ICU but the nurses said he's doing fine."

With tears in her eyes she said, "A son, I had a boy? Is Michael here?"

I said "Michael was here for you both but Dr. Z said he had to go back to work or lose his job. What's wrong with businesses? That's pretty heartless if you ask me!"

She nodded in agreement, then said,"I am so glad you're here. You have become such a good friend. I'm so glad we met."

"Oh, likewise. I don't know what I would have done without you."

I noticed her eyes began to droop so I just let her fall back asleep and I got my phone out and looked for messages. There was one from Devin. He wrote, "u r an amazin girl and I'll think of u wherevr I am. Kisses and more. Dev." I read it over and over. I really wished he was here now, well maybe not at this hospital but just with me. I can't believe I fell for him so quickly, so strongly. I mean the only other guy who has
even touched me as Carli was that awful Duane. Well, Dr. Z touched me and in very intimate places but that is hardly the same thing. Being with Devin just felt so natural. As for Duane, I've been planning something very special for him.

Dr.Z came back a few hours later and told me to go home, that he would stay until Michael came after work. I decided to tell him about my encounter with Devin. He didn't act surprised at all. "It's to be expected. Your body and mind were being seduced by not only Estrogen but other hormones as well. It completely changes your outlook. As you became female you developed an intense need to procreate. Women have been driven by this since the beginning and that is how the human race survived. Don't worry yourself about it now but do let me or Josie about any changes like cramps or a menstrual flow."

"Oh, I will, for sure, doctor." I kissed Josie on the head and Dr.Z on the cheek. Once again he blushed.

On the way home I stopped and bought a pregnancy test kit and followed the instructions, even though it was probably too early for any result. I was nervous as heck but when I checked it showed only one bar, “not pregnant"! I was so relieved but also a little sad but I knew I would eventual see the test stick read positive.

I didn't have much of an appetite so I just changed into my jammies and did my nightly facial. At first I though Josie was crazy to do this routine every night but after just a week I could see the difference. I was just sitting down with yet another maternity-related book, ‘Your Baby, Your Love' when my phone rang. It was Josie!

"Josie, how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing good, actually. I had some food and Dr.Z has been making me laugh with stories from his old days."

I couldn't imagine Dr.Z telling funny stories but that he was making Josie laugh was good news for all.

"I'm a little worried about my baby. Dr. Z said he is doing pretty good considering he's so tiny." I heard her sniffle as she said, "They won’t let me hold him yet. I really want to tell him his mommy is here."

Now I started crying too. I tried the standard reassurances but I know if it was me I would want to know what really is going on.

"Josie, is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"

"No, just to have you in my life is such a blessing. I really hope that soon our kids will be playing with each other."

"Oh Josie, that will be a wonderful thing to happen and we will make sure it does."

"Yes it will, Carli, and I can hardly wait! Of course the both of us starting crying again. Where in the heck are all these tears coming from?

"Oh, Michael just walked in. Michael, I am talking to my bestest friend Carli. She was the one who I was talking to when it happened and called Dr.Z. Michael, meet Carli."

Over the phone I said, "Hi, Michael, nice to meet you."

"Hi, Carli, nice to meet you too and thanks a lot for being there for Josie. She talks about you all the time."
I told him how much Josie meant to me and how she had changed my life.

He said, "Thank you for calling Dr Z!"

"Of course, and if there is anything else...!" In the background I could hear babies crying and it triggered a feeling deep inside me that made my heart skip a beat.

I said my goodbyes so they could have their privacy.

I made myself a salad, then sat down and re-read Devin's text, "u r an amazin girl and i will think of u wherevr i am."

I wrote back, "i feel the same, special nite, special man. i miss u already. kisses n more. Carli," and hit 'send'. I really did miss him. Why did he have to leave so soon? I guess I needn't worry about whether of not I was attracted to guys because I definitely am. It didn't feel strange at all; it just felt natural which I was hoping would happen. Perhaps I needed to go out more, it would be fun to have a real date sometime. Get all dressy and all!

I really liked Devin but it's possible I may never see him again. Perhaps I need to "sow some wild oats" so to speak. Who knows, maybe
there is another guy that I like even more than Devin? After all he was my first. Just then I got another text from him.

"U don't know how long i debated about getting on the plane. I hope you feel about me like i feel about u."

Well he must feel pretty strongly about me because he is a pretty special man.

I responded, "u r doing what u believe in, i don't want to compete with that, not yet."

The quarter ended at the end of May and there was the annual school pool party to celebrate. Even though I was no longer enrolled I thought this would be a perfect time to finally get my revenge on Duane. If he did to other girls what he did to me he certainly needed to be taught a lesson, a serious lesson.

I went to the pool party last year just because swimming was involved but the party itself wasn't much fun. The 'highlight' of the event is a beauty contest of sorts, guys and gals. The gals portion was just like you would imagine, a beauty contest in bikinis with girls posing and strutting. The guys portion was just a bunch of 'dick waving' where the guys wear their tightest swim trunks and then pose while showing off their bulges. Unfortunately I had become too familiar with Duane's.

I made an lunch date with Dr.Z and Josie for the next weeklong discuss
my idea. She and her baby were doing much better and she was able to hold and nurse him for a few hours and was so happy. Because of what I wanted to ask of them I had them come to my place, as tiny as it was. Following a recipe and I braved making a lunch for them. They pretended it was good, bless their hearts.

I took a deep breath and told them most of the details of the rape of my mouth by Duane. Needless to say they were both disgusted. When I told them my plan for revenge they both were more than willing to oblige. I mentioned that since a large part of my transition involved nano technology and Dr.Z's DNA IV recipe I had hope he could make it work. Dr.Z said he developed a fast-acting formula that worked quicker but the end results were not as complete or detailed. He developed this formula
for a foreign country that was in desperate need of surrogate mothers but did not need the 'complete' program, as it were. It was still permanent, however, but required the subject to be out for at least an hour and a half. I told him I could arrange that. He also said that this is totally new, not yet approved, and requires that his name or organization not be identified which I totally respected. He thought my plan for revenge was perfect and he would have want I needed in a day or two. I
thanked both of them and we shared hugs all around.

With all that set I could turn to shopping for some swimwear. When I was competing in the pools I used to wear very brief and tight swim suit. The whole idea to swim fast is to eliminate drag so I would also shave my entire body in an effort to streamline myself. Today, though, that was the furthest thing from my mind. I did miss swimming, though, so I splurged and bought 6 different suits, from a modest one piece to a couple bikinis and one very skimpy thong. I didn't know if I could wear the thong in public but a future boyfriend might like me in it.

BOYFRIEND!!!!! I would have never thought I was the type but I'm finding myself to being very attracted to boys...men. Boy-crazy I think is how it's described. Guilty!
For the pool party I chose what turned out to be quite modest, compared to the other girls.

The party was to start at 2pm and I was so nervous for a couple reasons. The swim suit I chose was a 2-piece, a bikini. I tried it on at a store and thought it fit well but I hadn't thought about how it would look in public with all those eyes checking out my body. It was too late to get another so I tossed on a short robe and flip-flops and headed towards the pool around noon.
I had never been this exposed as a female before. I looked down and saw my boobs bouncing in the bikini top. I thought about going back and changing but then I saw that the other girls were all much more exposed than me.

The difficult part of my plan to get even with Duane was acting like I didn't know him and actually flirt a bit to get him interested. Turns out it was like a moth to a flame.

Knowing Duane like I do I knew how to entice him. I spotted him with his buddies sneaking beers behind the pool dressing rooms and it didn't take much to get his interest. The thought of flirting with him disgusted me but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right. Just a wink and he came over.

"Hey there doll, have I seen you before? I'm Duane but everybody calls me Studly, (groan) what's your name, Cutie Pie."

"Hi Studly, I'm Debbie! Got another beer?"

"Hell ya, hey toss me a couple more beers, willya!" he barked to one of his buddies. "You go to school here? Are you sure we never met? You look kinda familiar. I thought I knew all the hot chicks at this school."

"No, I'm new here. Is this some sort of annual thing, this pool party?"

I asked while moving closer to him, as unappealing as that was but I needed to get him to trust me.

"Oh yeah, in fact I've been the 'Snake King' for the last 3 years and I’m a lock to win again this year," he bragged.

"Ooh, Snake King? I like the sound of that!" batting my lashes, feigning interest on the outside and gagging on the inside. With that he pulled back his robe to show off the bulge of his 'snake'. I tried to act impressed and said, "Ooh, I see what you mean!" as I licked my lips. As if! Well, live it up, buddy, it won't be for much longer.

I managed to slip the potion into the beer while he was bragging to his buddy. Dr.Z told and, luckily Snake King was easily distracted. The potion contained a sleeping potion plus some of Dr.Z's special ingredients'. Duane chugged his beer like he always did and threw the bottle in the bushes like he always does. He opened another and I quickly added another vial to this bottle, as well, by running my fingers down his neck which totally distracted him. He leaned toward me and tried to kiss me but I quickly spun around and pointed to a bench away from the crowd.

"Let's get away from the crowd, Studly, so we can have a little privacy,"as I licked my pink lips and winked at him. Now it would be just a matter of time but there was one more thing that needed to be done and I was dreading it. As I coaxed him away from the crowd I found a secluded spot with a bench. We sat and I could tell how excited he was when I pulled his robe back.

"Mmmmm, come to mama!" I said as I took a deep breath and put my hand down his tight trunks. The urge to vomit was strong but I had to keep my composure.

"Oh baby, that feels so good, stroke that snake, slut!"

Hearing that I tugged forcefully but that only made him more excited but I could tell he was getting drowsy. I stroked him a few more times, trying my best to act excited. On my hand I had put a lotion that was another gift from Dr.Z. Duane had no idea as he enjoyed this hand job so I made sure to rub it in thoroughly by stroking him, as directed. Finally he began to slouch and soon he was weak in the knees. I yanked out my hand, hoping I hadn't contacted some virulent strain of clap from
"Studly". Duane leaned on me and I did my best to help him walk but he just sank down and fell asleep against a tree. I hadn't noticed how I had lost a lot of my strength since my transition. I made sure to pull his robe around him and secured the belt. Then I went to where his buddies were and told them where the 'Snake King' was. I made sure to lick my lips so they would think we had sex. They all hooted and gave each other high fives. Just so they didn't all go
looking for him I told them he's got a couple of freshman cuties that he wants to show around so I wouldn't bother him. They all nodded, slapped each others back and exchanged high 5's. I left them hooting and hollering as I went in desperate search of hand sanitizer and wondered if I was ever as lame as those guys were.

Eventually the call for the bikini portion of the contest began. I was almost more nervous strutting around nearly naked than I was dealing with the Snake King. We were all given a number plate to attach, uh, somewhere. I taped it to my wrist. I was girl #8. One by one we were to walk, stride, jiggle, dance, skip or whatever from one side of the pool to the other. Many hoots and whistles ensued and I secretly enjoyed the attention. No one seemed to know who the judges were but I figured it was guys like Duane and his buddies who were more interested in checking
out our bikini bodies than looking for their buddy, the Snake King.

Luckily I was #8 so I saw what the other girls were doing and tried my best to act like them, arch my back to thrust out my boobs, shake my hair, smile, turn, repeat. After all it was my first time showing off my body and I thought I did pretty good but most of the other girls were a lot bolder than I was. We all stood around at the end of the pool waiting for the,"judges" to make their decision.

While we were waiting for the results Josie tapped on my shoulder. What a nice surprise! She was telling me that she named her baby when someone announced, "And the winner is.....number 8!"

I was talking to Josie and not really paying attention until the others turned to me and shrieked like girls do. I think I shrieked too when I realized it was me! They told me to parade back and forth along the pool so I decided to play it up and waved, blew kisses and shook my booty a couple times. It was great fun although I never thought I would do anything like that.

My prize was a bouquet of flowers and a beer, of course. The other girls gathered around me and we did what girls do at this kind of event, giggles, air kisses and lots of smiles and hugs. The contrast between us girls and those guys was eye-opening. I'm so glad I'm one of the girls!

Then it came time for the guys. They all stood in a line and I could see that Duane finally made it although he looked a bit groggy. One by one they took their turn opening their robes and flashing their goods in the tight, tight trunks. And yes, I did check out each and everyone of them. This girl had some catching up to do! When it came to Duane, though, he had to help to unlace his belt but then he made a big production of opening his robe. For a moment the crowd was silent and then they all
howled and pointed towards The Snake King. Duane, still a little groggy assumed he was the winner and started strutting around and the laughs only increased. Finally one of the guys said, "Camel toe, hey dude, you have a camel toe, where's your dick!" Not familiar with the term I waited for Duane to look down and, sure enough, just as Dr.Z said, he was now as flat as a girl down except his trunks were so tight you could plainly see the curves and crease of labia folds, like a "camel's toe!"

"Where's my dick, where's my goddam dick," he screeched, his voice now sounding like a little girl.

"What happened, dude?" asked one of his buddies.

"How the fuck do I know?" he shrieked in his little girl voice.

"and what's with your voice?" one of his buddies asked.

By now a crowd formed around him, all laughing hysterically. A few guys were talking about what a nice pussy he had. Finally Duane pulled his robe around himself and started to run away as jeers of "Clam Queen” resounded all around the pool. We could hear Duane swearing like a Marine but sounding like a drunken princess.

I smiled!

Mommy, mommy, mommy. Chapter 5

A few days after the now-infamous Pool Party I went to the campus to see Dr.Z and Josie. It turns out I was more satisfied that I thought I would be. Not only did Duane get totally humiliated but I heard from others that he left school and went home. My hope was that now he won’t be preying on other females anymore.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and Josie was there, smiling. We hugged and I asked how she and her newborn son was doing.

I was so glad to hear her son, Sam, was doing better and that he might be able to go home in a couple weeks. That was the best news! I've been so worried about her and her baby!

"I was so happy you won the beauty contest, it is certainly a validation of your progress. My, haven't you've come a long way!” she said.

"That was certainly wasn't what I was expecting when I entered, that’s for sure! I just entered so I would have a way to get back at Duane."

Josie said, "Well you certainly did do that, and how! That jerk won't be menacing women anymore, that's for sure!"

We walked over, out of the way, so we could discuss what really ended up happening with Duane. I only knew that Dr. Z provided me the things I thought I needed to get back at Duane. I knew I had to drug him and touch his awful thing but I wasn't sure what would really happen.

"Well, Dr.Z was quite upset when you told us what had happened to you. I have never seen him that angry. When you told us of your idea for revenge, to emasculate Duane in public somehow, he spent most of that night and the next day working on something that he thought would work. Having a quick response time was critical so he refined and simplified it. Basically it uses the same techniques that he used for us but but the results were much less detailed. The first pill he told you to give him was to make him drowsy, the second one was to change his voice."

"That voice change was a stroke of genius, by the way," I smiled.

"Wasn't it, though!"

"Anyway, the lotion is what really did the trick. Using his nano technology he developed what quickly and painlessly remade, in 60 minutes, what used to be Duane's pride and joy into the shape resembling, but not functioning, the female labia, complete with clitoris. Unfortunately, in order to make this work you did have to stroke him and that step couldn't be avoided. His formula ensured that having it on your hand would have no affect on you since it only reacted to testosterone, which you no longer produce. The genius of it all is he made sure there wasn't a vagina, just the semblance of a clitoris and labial folds but no opening except a tiny pee hole. He also deadened the nerve so there would be no clitoral sensitivity. Duane will not be able to feel any sort of pleasure down there! Not only that but he will have to 'pee like a girl' for the rest of his miserable life. I guarantee Duane will feel humiliated every time he has to urinate.

I couldn't believe it. This was much more than I could possible have wished for. Duane got what he deserved, I got my revenge. If he should come back and start trouble he will have a hard time trying to find a girl named 'Debbie' since the whole Pool Party thing was unsanctioned by the school. There was no record of any names. The could try and find 'girl #8' but good luck there. The school also didn't have a record of any Carli Jane Thomas. If he tried to find a JT or James Thomas who was on a swimming scholarship he would find that that this James Thomas person quit school and left no forwarding address. It will be Duane’s word against someone who no longer exists.

I knew I would miss Josie and Dr.Z dearly but I would have to go back once a year for checkups so I knew I would still see them. I also didn’t want to wait and see if Devin would come back to me. I wanted a fresh start. Josie was very sad to hear of my plans to move away but totally understood, so did Dr.Z. Josie was my best friend, confidant and guide, more like a sister than a friend, actually. Her son, Sam, was doing much better now and was able to go home which lifted Josie's spirits. I told her that I was just going to move to the city so it wasn't like I was moving cross-country and I could visit on weekends. Of course we cried together again but they were tears of sadness mixed with joy. We laughed when we both saw our mascara'd eyes were a mess. What a wonderful friend she is! While she was carrying her baby we hung out together like best friends do, watching chick flicks or giving each other mani-pedis, but most of the time we talked about getting pregnant, having babies and, of course, men.

Dr.Z was stoic, as usual, but I detected a little bit of sadness in his eyes. He didn't tear up but almost. I hugged him tight and he actually hugged back. That was a first! Then he got serious and told me what to do if there were any problems along the way. I decided that this was a good time to tell him my first period had started and I was so relieved, finally but there was that tinge of sadness that I hadn’t gotten pregnant by Devin after all.

"Ah, your menarche, that is good news indeed," he said.

I looked at him, confused. "My what, my malarkey?"

"Oh, sorry, men-ar-key, it's pronounced. It means your first
menstruation."

He said this was excellent news and proved that my uterus was in working order and, as he said, we celebrated! I had never seen him so animated. He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a small bottle of champagne and the 3 of us toasted my good news. He even took my hand and we even danced a bit. Then all 3 of us danced together! I felt so happy! He told me to be sure to let him know when I did get pregnant and that he wanted me to come in for regular checkups, regardless. I told him he would be the first to know when I get pregnant. Well maybe the 2nd, after Josie. When I went to leave I kissed Dr.Z on the cheek he surprised not only me but Josie as he kissed my cheek in return! I’m going to miss him, and Josie, so much.

My period was a bit of a surprise, as I guess it sometime can be. I was very glad it didn't happen any earlier, like when I was in my bikini! It did end up starting just a few days after when I experienced some unexpected dampness. Sure enough, spotting! Perhaps I am one of the few girls who was actually excited, and relieved, to have my first period. Luckily I was prepared. I went to my medicine cabinet and retrieved my
first tampon and inserted as instructed. It was a bit uncomfortable at first and the string hanging out of my vagina looked a bit silly but then I just forgot about the tampon being inside me until I remembered it was time to replace it. By the second day it was almost routine until I had a sharp pain and experienced my first cramps. It was a mixed blessing for sure. It was just another sign that my reproductive system was working but....Oooh, cramping hurt!

My uterus suffered but my mind was ecstatic! This was undeniable proof that I was now, and through the rest of my life, a complete female. It was the biggest step in the growth of myself as a complete woman, so far. The final step would be, of course, giving birth. I'll shared this occasion with females everywhere, for all time, and am so glad to be a part of the glory of womanhood.

A few days later I got a text from Devin. "am headed back 4 a week, would luv to c u, dev." I wasn't sure what to make of this. Is he coming back just to see me or is he coming back to stay? "to stay or just visit?" I messaged back.

I didn't hear anything back from him so I just got busy packing my things. I realized I needed to either buy a used car or hire a moving company.

My wardrobe had grown considerably. It turns out I really loved wearing dresses so I bought way too many although almost all were from resale stores. And shoes! Now I see the attraction. Heels, flats, boots, sandals of all sorts of styles, colors and heel heights. At first I was unsure about wearing heels. I wobbled around in a pair with Josie hanging on to my arm so I wouldn't fall. She said everyone did the same thing the first time in heels. With practice, and proper fitting, I hoped to be able to wear them all day, if I had to, eventually.

Devin's text and non-response puzzled me. I wanted to see him again but since I was planning on moving what was I to do? Do I postpone my move so I could see him or just get on with my life and tell him I am in the process of moving. It also dawned on me that I had never told him of my past. It would only be fair to tell him if we were going to have any kind of relationship but, then, didn't we already have a relationship, a very passionate one, at that? Since he was my first, and only, man I felt I owed him something either way. I called Josie for advise, she would know.

"Hi Jos, how are you and the family?"

She answered, "Hi Carli, we are all doing great, thanks! What's up?"

"Well I heard from Devin a while ago and I wanted to ask you what you thought it meant."

I read it to her and she said, "Hm, cryptic isn't it?"

"That's what I thought. I sent him a response a couple hours ago and he hasn't answered."

"Do you want to see him?" she wondered.

"I do but the timing isn't the best and there is another problem. I didn't tell him about my past and if it gets serious that might become an issue. Does Michael know about you?"

"I told him after we had been dating for awhile and we wanted to get physical, you know? I told him and he said that he was totally surprised, couldn't believe I used to be a guy but that he fell in love with the girl I am, not the person I used to be."

"Wow, how romantic!"

"I know! That's when I let myself fall in love with him."

"I guess if I tell Devin and he can't handle it then that would be that."

"True," she said, "or you could not tell him and he probably would never know."

"I thought about trying that but I wouldn't want to start a relationship by hiding something like that."

"My thoughts, exactly, Carli. Either he can't handle it and will leave or he can and then you can rest easy."

A while later I received another text from Devin. "i'm here, can i come over?" Bad timing if there ever was. Not only was I packing up and looking for a place to live but I had just started my period and I felt very emotional about all this.

"I didn't know U mean 2day. my place is a mess. what happened to your old place?"

He responded right away this time. "Rented it, i don't mind a mess."

I didn't see I had much choice. "Give me an hour then come, k?”
"Got it."

Now what was I going to do? The mess is one thing but I really wished we could make love again. I was just going to make the best of it. I straightened up as best as I could, put on some decent clothes, put my hair in a bun and slapped on some lip gloss.

He buzzed and I let him in. He looked a little worn for wear but very tan and fit. What am I saying, he looked delicious!

I went to him and hugged and kissed. It felt so good to be in his arms. It felt so natural to be in a man's embrace. A man's scent was intoxicating.

We didn't say anything for a minute or two and then he looked around and said, "I like what you've done with the place." I playfully punched his chest.

"I missed you, babe, he said."

"Me, too, I missed you so much. I'm glad you're back. Are you going to stay for long?

"Well, that depends."

"On what?" I asked.

"Oh, I'll tell you later but first I gotta have something to eat. Let me take you out for some lunch."

"Um, sure. I need to tell you something too but first I need to get my self together a bit," I said.

"Carli, are you kidding, you look great. C'mon grab your coat. This place isn't fancy at all. I mean, look at me. I've been on a plane for 10 hours and then came right here." I was looking and drooling at this handsome man.

"OK, I am a bit hungry."

It was a very different kind of place he took me to. I was never an adventurous eater and we went to this Vietnamese restaurant where I had no idea what to expect, but I had to trust him, right? I mean I got Thai takeout occasionally but it was always the same, boring thing, Pad Thai, one star.

Then restaurant wasn't fancy at all, more like somebody's home. The people were so nice and the waitresses were gorgeous, tiny with beautiful black hair and lovely skin. Everybody who worked there knew Devin. He ordered, of course. We had some delicious, exotic tasting foods but I was so fixated on Devin I couldn't you what we had. I was just hoping I didn't eat any bugs.

After our meal I brought up my question again, "So Devin, now can you tell me how long you are staying?”

"Well, I have a return ticket for early next week. What I want to ask you, though, is if you would like to go with me to Puerto Rico?"

This took me totally by surprise and I said so.

"I know I probably shouldn't have sprung it on you like this but while I was gone I couldn't get you out of my mind. He put his hand on mine and said, "You captivate me, Carli! There is something so fascinating about you and I want to get to know what it is about you that makes me go half-crazy. I love my work and I think I am very good at it but even so, I had to concentrate on not thinking about you just so I could do my job."

I stared wide-eyes at him for a minute before I could speak. “I'm stunned! I had no idea you felt that way about me. I mean we hardly know each other but, to tell you the truth I feel the same. While you were gone I thought about you constantly."

Looking intently he said "We have a week to decide. Will you please think about it. I admit I will be very busy some days but there will be some down time too. We can play in the surf, explore an amazing country with wonderful people. I think you would really like it."

"Wow, Devin, this is a big deal for me. I just had a pretty remarkable week which included me deciding to give up school and go to work and then you show up with this fantastic offer. I will certainly give it thorough consideration. It sounds like quite an invitation."

"Fair enough," he said, "but how about we leave here and hopefully go back to your place and you can tell me about your remarkable week."

I so wanted to tell him the truth about my past but his invitation threw me for a loop. So much to think about and so little time.

When I unlocked my door the reality hit me. My stuff was everywhere and the place was a mess! My clothes were in one pile, my shoes in another. Most of my books were stacked up as was my laundry. Half my kitchen ware was already packed. To top it off my bed was covered in maps and brochures along with notes of where I might want to move to. I moved stuff around so we could at least sit down. Before we sat he took me by the hand, turned me towards himself, then embraced me as kissed me
passionately. I almost became dizzy!

I then said, "Who needs to sit?" as I pulled him towards the bedroom and guided him on top of me as I lay on my back, right on top of my mess of maps and brochures. It felt so wonderful to be so close to someone like this. He began to unbutton my blouse and my chest was heaving in anticipation. He reached into my blouse and placed his warm, rough hands on my breasts and I involuntarily arched my back towards him. He kissed me on the lips again and then made his way down my body. His whiskers accidentally scratched across my nipple as he sucked in them and I squealed in delight. He unzipped my skirt, pulled it down and kissed and licked his way down my legs. Squirming in desire as he reached to pull my panties down I suddenly realized I was having my period. I suddenly sat up and said, "Oh no, we can't. I just remembered it's my period. I’m so sorry, I totally forgot!"

He sat up, smiled and said, "Hey, that's OK, we'll have plenty of time for lovemaking in the tropics!"

I sat up, reached out and began to stroked him. I didn't say anything, just smiled wickedly, and lowered myself down, licking my lips. I tried to not think about what Duane did to me. This was totally different and this I wanted to do! I kissed the head, pursed my lips together and slowly took him in. I loved the feeling when the head passed by my lips. He was so hot and hard as I made my way down along his length. It felt so good in my mouth, so hot, hard and oh so right! I couldn't get him all in so I made a fist around the base and pumped him with my hand and my mouth (a tip from Josie). I could hear him moaning, telling me how good it felt which only made me more excited. Unconsciously I reached down with my other hand and, finding my clitoris I made myself moan despite the tampon string getting in the way. He placed his hands on my head and he held it has he began to thrust in and out of my mouth. His movements became faster, deeper when he tensed up and I felt his glorious manhood throb in my mouth and his hot, creamy gift filled me to my throat. I tried to suck every last drop out of him and then sat up gasping and swallowed every drop. So exciting! Now I knew how wonderful it felt to take a man and pleasure him orally when he exploded into my mouth.

While I was sitting up he reached down and began to play with my clitoris, ignoring my tampon string. It didn't take long before I began to feel my body tremble as waves of pleasure flowed through me from my toes to my head and back again. Exhausted, we both fell back on the maps and laughed each other silly.

We must have fallen asleep in each other's arms but when I woke up the bed was empty next to me. At first I though maybe it was all a dream but then I heard noises coming from the kitchen. I pulled on his t-shirt that said "Puerto Rico, Si!" on the front. It smelled like him and I liked how big his shirt was on me. I went out to see what was going on and found him fixing breakfast, dressed only in his boxer undershorts. I came up from behind and wrapped my arms around him. He turned around and we kissed the kiss of lovers.

"Hello, my handsome hunk of man!" I said proudly.

"Hola, mi chica bonita," he said which I hoped meant Hello pretty girl. "Just think, we could wake up like this every day if you went with me."

"That would just about every girl's dream," I said.

Our breakfast was quite yummy with scrambled eggs, toast and OJ. I had to apologize for my lack of coffee since I started going to my local espresso shop instead, thanks to him for pointing out the difference.

After breakfast Devin went to do some personal stuff so I took the opportunity to go visit Josie and her baby boy, Sam. Part of the reason for visiting them was so I could hold and cuddle with her baby. Josie just handed him over like he was a loaf of bread and I was petrified that I might drop him but all that fear washed away as felt this tiny human nestled in my arms. I loved the way he smelled and all the cute sounds he made. When he smiled at me I felt such joy and found the entire interaction to be very soothing.

"You look like a just another mom," she said, smiling.

"I can't believe how natural this feels. This is what I have always wanted and needed but didn't know it until now. Thank you so much for making this so possible!"

"I thought you would have made a perfect mother the first time I saw you. You had this, for lack of a better term, maternal look. By that I mean you seemed so compassionate and warm. Like a mother should!"

"Oh, Josie, thank you so much for everything! I owe you so much!"
.
We hugged although I was afraid of squishing little Sam but Josie just laughed and said, "Oh, Carli, babies come out of chute as tough little customers."

"That brings up a question, what about our lady parts? It seems like they will be going through a lot. Did you have any difficulties."

"No, since he was so tiny at birth he just kinda slipped right out of me. At least that's what I was told. I was out of it. Actually I kinda missed having a true childbirth and the long and painful as it could have been. I'm sure most mom would like the kind of painless delivery I had but I feel I missed out on having a true labor experience."

"Well I suppose that would be true. I mean I really don't know what to expect when it is my turn."

Of course Josie wanted all the details of my visit from Devin which I was more than proud to share with her. She knew I was on my period so she asked "I assume you still managed to have a little fun with him."

Of course I had to told her everything and how much I liked it. She smiled, knowingly. I also told her about his offer for me to follow him to Puerto Rico and she was excited for me. "A tropical vacation for you, lucky girl!"

"Yes, the timing is bad but I think I really want to do this. He and I could really get to know each other."

She said, "This might the the opportunity of a lifetime. You could come back all rested, tanned and, maybe, with a pregnant belly!

"That's what I was thinking, the pregnant part, for sure," I replied. He seems to be such a caring, responsible guy and we get along so well. He is so worldly compared to me."

"It isn't up to me but maybe you should do it, Carli, or you may regret it later."

"I know, I worry about regretting not going." We chit-chatted for a couple of hours then went home to get my apartment organized a little better since he might be staying with me for the night.

With the departure looming just a day away I made the decision that I would go with him. Also my period had passed and I really wanted him to make love to me and I tried to pretty myself up a bit. I curled my hair, wore a bit more makeup than usual, did my nails and then put on a dress I bought for such an occasion. It showed much more cleavage than I usually do, mid-thigh in length and quite tight. I'm pretty sure he would get
the idea. I stepped into my highest heels and then checked myself way too many times in the mirror.

BUZZ! I pressed the intercom and told him the door was open. When he walked through the door his eyes grew wide. "My god, you are a vision of beauty! May I assume it is for my benefit?

”Yours and yours alone! as I slinked (as if I knew how to slink) over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against him. He responded by lifting me up and kissing me deeply. I parted my lips and his tongue slid in and probed inside my mouth. He tried to send his tongue deeper and I adjusted my jaw more and felt his tongue tickling the back of my throat.

I could feel his bulge straining against my vulva, even through his pants. I let loose of his neck and slid down his body until I was on my knees. Quickly undoing his pants I licked my lips and, grasping his growing manhood I kissed the tip and was pleased to see my lipstick print on the head. I parted my lips more, and slid my tongue between my lower lip and his shaft and proceeded to lick every inch of his rock-hard shaft. My face was pressed against his belly as I carefully opened my throat and took him in completely. I was so proud I could do such a thing.

I was careful, though, to not stimulate him too much as I had other needs to be filled. I slowly relaxed and felt every inch of him slide out of my throat and pass through my lips as I sucked it all the way out.

"Carli, that felt so amazing! It was so deep that I thought you might swallow me whole!"

I smiled at him wickedly and said, "I'll work on that. And now it's your turn!"

With that he easily picked me up in his arms and carried me to the bed (I had moved the maps this time), and gently laid me down and I pulled up my dress, completely exposing my panties. With his fingers he slid my panties off, put my legs over his shoulders and proceeded to kiss and probe my femaleness. He slid his tongue down my slit but not before licking my clitoris. His tongue reached my eager, wet vagina and he slid it inside my vagina. It felt amazing! I wished I could have been experiencing this feeling for years. He continued probed inside me, stopping occasionally to take a deep sniff of the aroma of my feminine secrets. With his fingers he teased my clitoris until I thought I would pass out. My lover certainly knew what he was doing!

Not wanting to ruin my dress Devin helped me pull it over my head. I wasn't wearing a bra so my breasts bounced playfully as he fully undressed me. He laid me down and proceeded to knead one breast then the other. His fingers expertly tweaked each nipple and then grew erect as he suckled each one. I became very wet down below and I pulled him down to me. I spread my legs and guided him into my folds.

Suddenly he stopped, said, "Wait, I better glove up."

I wasn't sure what he meant at first but then he pulled a condom out of his pants pocket. I grabbed the condom out of his hands and tossed it to the floor and opened myself to him.

He looked into my eyes and I'm sure he knew what I wanted. He felt familiar inside. He began to glide in and out of me and I tried to match his rhythms. He seemingly grew thicker, longer and hotter with each stroke. I moaned in pleasure as he would pull nearly out, causing me to squirm in anticipation, and then slide completely back up and in, and again! His movements became faster, more intense and I struggled to keep up. He was totally in command of me and I loved it. Waves of pleasure coursed through my body as he continued his charge. When I felt he was close I tried a trick that Josie mentioned and tried to tightened the muscles of my vagina around his shaft. He let out a great moan as copious amounts of his soldiers headed for my waiting womb. Exhausted, we both collapsed in spent pleasure. Secretly, I was smiling to myself thinking, "Did I just get impregnated?"

Finally I sat up, threw a robe around myself, and went to pee. As I walked I felt some of his baby batter run out of me and down my leg which made me a little sad, I wanted all his semen inside me. I wiped some off with my finger and then licked it off, savoring his manly taste. I climbed back on to the bed and crawled on top of Devin. He was so warm, so fit and firm. I was amazed how different our bodies are and even more amazed that my body used to look more like his. I was so glad to be different. We kissed some more and felt him stir down below. I reached down and gently tickled his scrotum and was pleased that he sprang right back to attention!

I moved my head down, licked the head of his manliness while I continued to fondle his crotch. He obviously liked what I was doing. I parted my lips and slid down past the ridge of his cock and then back out. I think we both liked how that felt! I slowly took him as far as I could go. I held it in my mouth as I looked up at him. He had the most wonderful smile. I gave him a wink and slid back out just past the head. I kept my mouth open and smiled as I waited a few more seconds before closing my lips and sucking my cheeks out as I rode back down. After a few more of those I sense he was getting close so I wrapped my lips tightly and waited for my present. Suddenly a splash of his gift filled my mouth so I continued sucking. He moaned, "Carli-girl, wow just wow!

After he stop pulsing I moved off, opened my mouth and show him how much he gave me, and then I slowly swallowed every last drop. Quite possibly the best gift I've ever received. (Not there were many gifts at all before). I almost couldn't believe what I had just done but was so happy I did. It didn't taste bad, a little salty-like, and I was sure I would grow to like it and I was so pleased that I had his semen filling both my vagina and my mouth.

We took turns showering and then decided to go outside and enjoy the weather. We stopped at an ice cream shop and he bought two cones and we found a table and enjoyed our cool treat while we watched a mom, dad and their young child enjoying being a happy family. New I sighed deeply and he asked why.

"I'm just envious is all. I hope to be just like them."

He didn't say anything at first and then said, "Just so you know, I don't."

At first I thought he was kidding and I playfully punched him in the arm and said, "No, really, wouldn't you like to have a family?"

"Sorry, but no. Don't get me wrong, I love kids but there are so many orphans that need homes. It just doesn't seem right for me to make more."

The air just went out of me. All I could say was, "Oh," as I turned my head so he wouldn't see me trying to not cry but he heard me sniffle.

"I don't mean to offend, it's just my opinion. Orphans kids are a big reason I do what I do as work. I'm sorry if I...oh geez, were you thinking of me as a dad?"

I tried to make a joke of it and faked laughed, "With you? Don't flatter yourself." In reality the bottom just dropped out of my life. Nothing was said for a few minutes.

Ironically I was going to tell him that I loved him and wanted to go with him to Puerto Rico but now...instead I said, "You know I thought real hard about your offer but I don't think I will join you. It isn't the kind of life I'm looking for. Sorry."

He didn't say anything. He knew why I wouldn't go. When we got back he finally said, "Knowing you has been such a joy. When I said I didn’t want a family I meant one with kids. When you said I didn't need protection I figured you were using birth control. Aren't you?"

I didn't say anything so it was obvious I wasn't. "So I hope you weren’t just using me to get pregnant so I would have to marry you?"

I began crying. "No, I wouldn't force you to marry me, it's just that..." I whimpered.

"Just what? That kinda seems like what you were planning."

"Ok, yes, I did want to get pregnant but I wouldn't have forced you to marry me."

Devin thought for a minute, then said, "I always wanted to be a couple with someone, someone to grow old with. Someone I could love and trust so I thought maybe you might be her but I guess not."

I shook my head while tears poured down my face. "Maybe you should stay somewhere else tonight," he agreed.

He gave me a kiss on my head and got up and I stayed sitting, crying on the bench until it got dark and then went back home, alone.

I didn't know I could cry this much! I was so bad off I couldn't even talk to Josie who had been calling me for a week but I hadn't answered. What could I say except that I blew it. Plus I'd have to tell her I had unprotected sex, on purpose! What a dope I was. Devin was everything a girl could want and I think he liked me a lot too, maybe even loved me like I loved him but we wanted different things and now he's gone from my
life.

It had been 2 menstrual cycles in a row that I missed. I took a
maternity test and it read two bars, pregnant, sigh. I was so looking forward to it and should be so happy but now it seems like it might have been a big mistake.

What have I done? Already I'm a single mom! I went to an OB/GYN who confirmed it. I was a bit embarrassed to tell Dr.Z and Josie that I was so eager to have intercourse that I purposely did not use protection but suddenly something clicked in my brain. I realized that I shouldn't be so agitated because I was now 'with child'. No, I should be welcoming it instead! I mean wasn't getting pregnant the whole point?

Deciding to grow up and be a loving mother I placed my hands over my belly and told whoever was in there know that their mommy loves them and will love him or her forever. Even so I felt it was wasn't fair for my baby to not have a daddy.

I even gave thoughts that I should try dating, like one of those speed-dating clubs. Maybe there is some decent guy who wants to marry a ‘used' and pregnant woman but that seemed a bit desperate.

I ended up not moving. I also never unpacked. I did throw up from morning sickness but the knowledge that I was growing a baby in me kept me going.

Two weeks later I was still despondent about Devin. When I didn't answer the phone calls Dr.Z and Josie finally came over. They knocked on the door but when I didn't answer they told the manager that I needed to be checked out. He let them in and they were shocked! I was a mess. I looked horrid with big bags under my eyes, hair a rat's nest, stuff everywhere, my opened, tossed suitcase, tipped over glasses and cups. As soon as she saw me Josie put her arms around me and I bawled my head off. I was crying so hard my body was heaving. Dr. Z quickly administered a sedative and I quickly calmed down. I told them everything, what happened between Devin and I, about the sex, the picnic and then what Devin and I ended up telling each other and that he went back to Puerto Rico after I drove him away. Then I told them I was definitely pregnant and not sure how to feel about it.

Dr.Z and Josie looked at each other, nodded and then Dr.Z said, “Carli, my precious Carli. Remember early on in the program we said toward the end of it you will personally interact with various people in different situations? We said your reactions would be gauged for response. We think that you both exceeded our expectations. You see, Devin was also part of the program. He went through the same program as you only he started as a female. It wasn't until you told Josie his name was Devin that we realized who he really was. That the two of you would actually meet was not anticipated; it was totally spontaneous. When we heard you were dating him we were anxious of the outcome. We had provided his cover but his responses, his emotions were as true as yours.

Devin wasn't in Puerto Rico, he was here, always has been, or was. After you two broke up he disappeared. Like you, his attitude toward becoming the opposite gender was developed during his sessions but his attitude regarding children and fatherhood developed after he finished the program. We did anticipate your reaction but not his. We were not counting on the two of you falling in love as hard as you did.

I could not believe what I was hearing. This was all part of the program? Now I was an emotional wreck and it's pretty much their fault!

"We apologize that we let it get away from us. Obviously there are changes and criteria that need to be adjusted for the emotions portion of the program." They also said they had ceased Devin's program. Apparently testosterone is stubborn and too many anomalies had occurred.

On the other hand we are thrilled with the rest of your progress. The entire reason for this company and it's purpose is to perpetuate human existence. It is obvious from your results that you are totally invested in becoming pregnant and becoming a mother. If it is any satisfaction you might be pleased to know that you have now graduated from the program with the highest possible score. While that may not seem like much to you the parent company that is funding this is more than pleased. They have awarded you a $50,000 endowment. In addition, if you are willing, you can earn even more if you were to become the 'Spokesmother', for lack of a better term, for the company.

I said I appreciated the money but that wasn't as important to me as my, and my baby's, health. I told them I would have to think about being any kind of 'Spokesmother' and asked them to leave. I felt betrayed by both of them, especially Josie. She knew all along. She tried to apologize personally but I just shut the door behind them and, you guessed it, cried!

I wondered what would have happened if I had said "yes" to Puerto Rico since this whole thing was just a pretense. My best guess is that he would have figured out a way to squirm out of the whole deal and leave me hanging either way.

The next day I thought about Devin once being female. Again, I am amazed at Dr.Z's genius. I wasn't an expert in the male genitalia but Devin’s sure fooled me. Everything looked right and it certainly felt and worked right. I also realized why Devin wasn't very squeamish when I mentioned my period of even willing to touch me down there even with my tampon string hanging out; he probably used to menstruate himself.

The additional funds did allow me to look at maybe getting a better place to live. 2 months along now but still not showing much although I was experiencing plenty of morning sickness. I was so excited when I was finally able to see and feel my belly grow and my new body had continued to change shape. Josie kept calling but I never picked up. Devin sent a couple texts but I ignored those as well. I spent the week scouring the rentals available and also looked for a used car. I wanted to be all set before my baby arrived.

Finding a car was pretty easy. There was a posting for a “gently-used Prius" on a coffee shop bulletin board and I took a bus over to see it. Nothing fancy but the owner seemed nice and honest. He said he just got a new car and didn't need this one anymore. He accompanied me for a test ride and it seemed to run good, had pretty new tires and Prius is known for it's excellent fuel economy. After I signed the ownership papers he asked if maybe I'd like to join him for lunch.

He was kinda cute and maybe 5-6 years older than me. His name was Pete. A few inches taller than me he had a nice face under his brown hair all crammed under his baseball cap, 3-day old whiskers and a nice smile. His hands were working man's hands, a little beat up but you could just tell he was strong.

I drove to his favorite burger joint so I could familiarize myself to the car. I wasn't a big fan of burgers so I just had a salad and some fries. He said he lived in this town all his life, his dad was a professor but Pete himself never went to college. Instead he was kind of a handyman for the townsfolk. He said he can pretty much fix anything and believed that it was better to fix things first before tossing it out and buying
something new. I told him that was a good way to look at things. He asked what I did and I told him I was enrolled but decided to quit school and was planning in moving to a bigger town or city. Beyond that I really did not have any plans. He made a face like he didn't like what I told him. I decided I should tell him I was pregnant but the father wasn't involved.

He sighed and said, "That's too bad. There are way too many deadbeat dads around. If they're going to make them they needed to take care of them too."

It was nice to hear that. "Well this dad wasn't exactly a deadbeat, he didn't want me to get pregnant in the first place."

"Well that's a little different but it still isn't right."

I changed the subject. I didn't want to talk about Devin anymore. We just made small talk but he was nice to be around. He knew all sorts of facts about the town and seemed to know just about everybody. I thought to myself that's exactly why I needed to move away. He drove us to his place, got out and came around to hold the door open for me and then handed me the keys.

"Now if there is any problem with the car, ANY problem, call me, promise?"

We exchanged numbers and I hugged him quickly and said, "Thank you so much, Pete! You are so kind and thoughtful." I surprised him a bit when I gave him a peck on the cheek. I guess I do that a lot, it dawned on me.

"It was real nice meeting you, Carli and I'm glad ol' Paint is going to a good home." He names his cars; that's was so cute, I thought.

Since I now had a car I decided to check out some of the listings for apartments in the city which was 20 miles away from where I was. I figured it should be far enough away for me to not know anyone. I knew the rents would be higher but there would be more amenities like more grocery stores, maternity shops, just more and better selections of most things. The first place I looked at had amenities like a pool and being a swimmer I thought that would be nice to take a swim every day. I had been swimming a few times since my bad experience and, thankfully, hadn’t had any adverse reactions from the chemicals in the water, at least not the pool at campus. It also had covered parking and a 2 bedroom unit that cost just $100 more than I was paying before. I decided right then I would rent it. I drove around the city a bit to get my bearings and then headed back to my old place. I went in and realized how dreary it was and now I couldn't wait to leave this place and start over.

I struggled to get a lot of my stuff in the car. I had it pretty filled up and was ready to take a load but, wouldn't you know it, the car wouldn't start. "What now?" I asked myself. "This is all I need!" I called up Pete right away and he sounded glad to hear my voice but surprised. I told him the car wouldn't start but he said he was close by and he was at my apartment in just a few minutes.

He came over and said, "I'm real sorry about this, let me take a look.” He tried the ignition and it started right up but then he got out of the car holding up one of my shoes. "I think this was blocking the accelerator pedal so the ignition wouldn't engage. Try it again." Of course it started right up.

I looked at him sheepishly. What a silly a girl I must have seemed like. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to drag you over here. Can I make it up to you somehow?"

He just laughed and said, "I'll take another one of those kisses on my cheek, if you don't mind." I went right over to him, kissed him on both cheeks and hugged him as well. "Oh, a bonus!" he said.

He then said, "You know, a pregnant lady shouldn't be lifting all this stuff by herself. Look, I have my truck right here and I'll load up whatever else you have and drive it to your new place. I'd be glad to do it for you."

"Oh, I can't ask you to do that. It's my bed, kitchen stuff and books, all the heavy stuff. I really don't want to impose."

"No problem. It's not an imposition if I volunteered now, is it? Besides, I'm not asking, I'm telling. Now let’s go get started."

"No, I guess not. Thank you so much!" I smiled. It took Pete about an hour to get all my stuff moved, it would have taken me half the day. Whatever muscles I used to have seemed to have turned soft probably because of the estrogen and Dr.Z's magic.

At my new apartment he backed into my parking space and asked what floor.

"Second," I answered.

"Lucky us, there is an elevator!" He took some boxes from my car, opened the elevator door and told me to pull the 'Hold' button. He loaded the rest of the stuff from his truck and said, "C'mon, let's enjoy ride," he laughed as went went up one floor. "You go open your door and I'll bring your things in."

"Surely there must be something I can do," I pleaded.

"Just point me to the right room."

He was done in less than an hour and that included putting my bed together since he seemed to always have his toolbox with him.

"I don't know what to say. How about I buy us dinner sometime, could I at least do that much?"

I think he was going to try and refuse but I just smiled and said, “I would feel bad if you said no," as I pouted my lips. That did it. “Can you pick the place, though? I don't know anything about the area."

"Uh, there's a place that makes good salads and french fries!"

"Funny! I was thinking a little more upscale this time."

He perked right up and said I know this place by the river. It's pretty nice, steaks and such."

"It sounds perfect. Next week, Saturday?"

He agreed, smiling. "It would be my pleasure, Ok? Right now I better get on home, I have a lot of mouths to feed."

Taken aback, it hadn't dawned on me to ask about his home life and was a little disappointed that he had a wife and kids.

"So how many mouths are in your family?" I asked.

"Well, including mine I have 6 to feed. 4 cats and a dog and they don’t like it when I'm late with their grub."

"I'm sure not!" I was so relieved and laughed while thinking how nice it was that he thought of his pets as family. "Well I better let you go, I don't want that pack mad at me!" This time in he extended his cheek toward me and I smiled and kissed him again, lingering a bit longer. I didn't wipe it off.

The next few days I puttered around my new place, trying to get things put away. It was a real pleasure to have a swim everyday again and I didn't know I had missed it so much. It felt different at first, my body fat getting redistributed threw me off, at first, but once I got the hang of it I felt like my old self. What really felt different was the water that got trapped into my growing cleavage. I made a note to get a few different styles. I loved seeing myself in a bikini but a one-piece would be better for doing laps.

I found myself getting excited about my Saturday night date with Pete. I checked the internet and searched for the place he had been talking about. It was easy. Not really dressy but a nice, hair done and makeup on kind of place. It seems I'm getting the hang of this girly world with all of the once-confusing customs. If I thought about this being a date then it was, really, my first real date with a man. With Devin it was all kinda casual.

I wore a nice, knee length dress in a floral pattern, mid-high heels, a scarf and put my hair up with clips and pins like Josie showed me. I wore a bit more makeup than usual but I think I still looked fresh and casual.

He buzzed me. When he walked in the door I couldn't believe it. Did he ever clean up good! Apparently he thought I did too.

"Carli, you look fantastic! I mean you looked pretty before but wow!"

"Look who's talking. Mr. Fixit goes to Hollywood!"

"Well thank you, Carli, that nice of you to say. I don't go out much."

"Me neither."

I took his arm and he led me, not to his truck, but a real nice-looking luxury car. I'd never ridden in anything like it. I sat down and the leather seats were so plush. I traced my hand over the dash and it was smooth and soft.

"The Lexus? It was a repo. I couldn't buy anything like this new nor would I want to."

"Well, I love my new car. Ol' Paint and I are good buddies now that I learned to keep my shoes on when I drive." He thought that was pretty funny and I was beginning to find about there is more than just a handyman in there.

The restaurant was very nice, romantic, even, with faerie lights strung outside from the branches of the trees. He parked and then opened my door and held my hand while I got out his low-slung car. I struggled a bit to keep my skirt from riding up while at the same time keeping my knees together. We were led to a nice path with a riverside view of boats moored alongside and a boardwalk along the river. He ordered a bottle of wine although I reminded him that I am with child and I could
only have a sip. We talked a little about our lives. He lost his dad 8 years ago and his mom 5. He had a married younger sister who had a couple of kids who adored their Uncle Pete. He's never been married, not that he didn't want to, but he hasn't found the right girl yet. Then he asked about me.

To be honest with him I would have to tell him things I didn't want him to know. I told him my folks lived back home but haven't seen them in a few years which was the truth. I told him I had a couple siblings and that I was a pretty good swimmer. That was all true. Telling him I used to be a different gender was probably something one doesn't want to share on a first date, if that's what this was. I just filled him in on going to college, my swimming scholarship and, well, that was about it. He already knew I was pregnant.

The food came and it looked wonderful but I had felt kind bloated all day and didn't eat much. I tried my best, though. He plowed through his soup, salad and entree eagerly. I smiled, knowing how much energy he must burn being so active. We finished our meal with coffee and a small dish of gelato which is something else I had never tried. It was fabulous! After our meal we walked along the promenade. It was a cool evening and he gallantly placed his sport coat over me for warmth like a
true gentleman.

I was beginning to like Pete...a lot!

Mommy, mommy, mommy, Ch. 6

On the ride back to my condo Pete pointed out some points of interest along the way. I could tell he loved his town. He walked me to my door and told him how much I enjoyed the evening.

He was just about to leave when I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. His seemingly permanent 3-day old stubble, although it looked like he had shaved, tickled my lips, a new experience for me. My kiss surprised, and pleased, him.

He said nervously, "Carli, you are such a pleasure to be around and I sure wouldn't mind seeing you some more, maybe we can do this again sometime."

I smiled and said, I'd love to, soon!" He agreed and walked away all smiles. I watched him as he looked back at me and I blew him a kiss which he pretended to catch and then held his hand against his heart as he blew me a kiss. I'd seen that move in movies and thought it was so corny but this was anything but...

I spent a few hours unpacking and putting things away. There were things I need to buy, like more than one set of sheets, some nice, fluffy towels, and certainly more than one plate, bowl and spork. Now that I had a car and some disposable income I could actually buy nicer things and decorate my new home with nice curtains, throw rugs and decor on the wall.

I made my bed, removed my makeup, took a nice, hot shower which was a treat since my last place didn't have much water pressure or hot water. It pleased me to see that my face without makeup still looked quite female. I made a mental note that I didn't have to wear as much as I thought.

I crawled into bed and thought about my evening with Pete. He was so different than Devin. I don't know why that would surprise me, we are all different. Pete was just down-to-earth. He probably didn't go to college but had common sense and an aura of kindness.

Devin, on the other hand, was very self-assured and driven, not that there was anything wrong with that. It was still difficult to realize that he used to be a female. I found I still thought about him even though we weren't compatible and there was that hint of betrayal.

Still I marveled that my virtually sudden attraction to men was so strong. I fell asleep thinking of belonging to a man, not just sexually but more as a partner in life who wanted to start a family and have us all grow together. At first I thought that might be Devin but now I was thinking Pete was the man for me.

I had become very adjusted to living my female life but I knew I
couldn't keep a secret of my past to someone like Pete.

I met up with Pete a few more times informally. I had a bookcase delivered but it needed assembly. I didn't have any tools so I asked Pete if he could help me assemble and move it. Oddly I used to be perfectly capable about doing manly things like assembling a bookcase but it seemed like that knowledge is being replaced with matters-in-hand, namely becoming a woman, a pregnant woman, at that. I fixed him lunch and we just made small-talk but he had other people he needed to help as well so he couldn't stay. We also just bumped into each other at a coffee shop but we were both on our ways somewhere so we didn't
really didn't have time to talk.

A few days later I happened to meet a guy I at my pool. I had enough just bought a one-piece swimsuit and was eager to try it on to see how it felt while swimming in the pool.

I did a couple laps but I stopped and treaded water while trying to adjust a strap when I heard this guy say, "Need some help with that?"

I jumped a bit, I thought I was alone.

He smiled and extended a hand. "I'm Bill, 310."

It took me a sec to realize he was in room 310.

I shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, I'm Carli, 202."

"You have a nice backstroke, you must swim a lot."

"Um, yes, I do. I just got this suit and I'm trying it out. It's a little tight around my shoulders though."

Bill 310 asked, "Mind if I swim a few laps with you?"

I thought that was odd but said, "Ok, sure."

He dived in and we paced each other back and forth about 6 laps, then asked if I wanted to race. I watched his style earlier and knew I would have easily beat him in my old, competitive male days.

He said "Go" and he took an early lead and I almost caught him at the end but I thought better of it and purposely slowed down.

"You're pretty fast," he said. "Most girls can't keep up."

"Well, duh!" I thought, if he only knew! He wasn't the one swimming with a 3 month belly hanging down. I was done swimming so I told him I was going to get out. I climbed out and while I was toweling off it was now apparent to him that I had a big belly and he was trying to race a pregnant woman.

"If you're not busy or..." He paused.

I said, "Or what?"

"Or unattached, if you aren't unattached maybe I can buy you a cup of coffee. I know a place." It seems like every guy I meet knows a place.

"Um, sure, let me shower and get dressed and I'll meet you on the lobby in an hour."

While I rinsed the chlorine off in my shower and tried to make myself presentable. Remembering my earlier discovery that I could wear less makeup I just applied a bit of blush, some mascara and lip gloss. I wondered what he thought of my big belly or noticed I wore no ring. "Whatever," I thought, he was kinda cute in a surfer boy kind of way.

I put on a loose, drop-sleeve blouse, a loose denim skirt and sandals. He was waiting for me and I noticed his beefy shoulders and upper body, definitely a swimmer. "Do you mind walking a few blocks?"

"No, no problem. I like the fresh air." We made small talk and he led me into this older bit building that looked like it had been refurbished. Down a long, dim hallway I was beginning to get nervous.
Am I going to get killed by a serial killer, I thought to myself, but then the hallway opened into this open-air courtyard which was now an espresso cafe. It was lovely and I told him, "Oh, this is nice, I never would have guessed." We ordered and we sat in a quiet corner.

"So, you’re pregnant!" he said.

"Yes, it is kind of obvious, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess you already knew," he laughed.

I didn't want to make him ask the obvious so I just said, "The dad couldn't handle it so I'm having it by myself. It's OK, though, it’s better this way," I said without elaborating.

We made more small talk and as we headed out he said, "Wanna come up?"

I didn't know quite how to respond. I just kinda looked at him and quietly nodded. In afterthought I guess I just felt like I needed someone to be close with.

Nothing romantic about it. He opened the door to 310, I tore off my clothes as he did the same. He climbed on me but not before putting on a condom. I told him to be gentle since I had this baby in me but then he literally pounded into me until he came, then he got up, said "Thanks" and that was it. "Wham bam, thank you, ma'am!" was more like it, I thought. I got dressed and left, disappointed. This was my first occasion to not reach a climax. At least this time I was glad I remembered to have a condom between me and an STD. I certainly didn’t want to infect my baby. I went to my room and douched myself just in case and then pleasured myself off to relieve the tension. Showered
again I went back outside. Bill 310 was nowhere to be found.

Earlier, when Bill 310 was leading me to the coffee bar we passed a boutique that had some very cute dresses in the window. I went back there and tried a few on. I found 2 dresses that I simply had to have although they cost a bit more than my usual re-sale store purchases. I could afford them now thanks to my 'bonus' check. Also bought a lovely scarf and a pair of hoop earrings that I liked but I wanted to see how they looked on me. The clerk quickly obliged by holding up a mirror for me. I loved them! We talked a bit about babies. She had 2 kids, a 3 year old boy and a 6 month year old baby girl. She talked
about having to work too many hours just to provide day care even though her husband had a decent job. I hoped I could avoid that trap.

She pointed out some cute maternity wear and I realized that most of my skirts and dresses weren't going to fit me for awhile. I tried on a few and ended up buying 2 nice, colorful dresses that I hoped would fit during my third trimester.

I spoke to the salesgirl like I've been talking dresses, makeup and babies to other females all my life. That made me feel so complete!

On my way home I marveled about how effortlessly It seemed to be for me to transition into this female soul, thanks to Dr.Z and Josie.

It seemed I got tired faster since I became pregnant and carried the added weight of my baby. I laid on my bed and I got another text from Devin which I ignored. Josie also tried calling again but I wasn’t ready to talk to her again, if ever. I was just dosing off when I got another call, this time from Pete. This one I answered.

"Hi beautiful! he said. "Busy?" How I loved hearing him say I was beautiful!

"No, just resting. What's up, handsome?"

"I was just in the neighborhood and wondered if you needed anything"

"Oh, that is so kind of you but I can't think of anything right now. Hey, if you want to come up I can make you a sandwich."

"Well that is mighty kind of you. I don't mind if I do."

Once again I tried to make myself look decent. I just finished
blotting my lipgloss and he buzzed. "It's open! C'mon in." I forgot about shoes and took one quick look in the mirror when he entered. "Hi Pete, good to see you again." I went to him and we hugged.

"Well thank you, that's nice of you. Might I say that you look as lovely as ever and it seems your belly is twice as big as the last time I saw you."

"Thanks for noticing, it feels like it is at least four times as heavy though," and we both laughed.

"Your place looks nice."

"Well thanks to you. If it wasn't for your help I'd still be making trips from my old place."

"Sit down anywhere," as I pointed to the only chair. "I've been
meaning to get more furniture. What can I fix you, you like grilled cheese?" He sat on a box of books instead, of course, so I could have the chair. "What a kind thing to do," I thought.

"I sure do, that would be great."

"Anything to drink?" As I looked in the fridge, "I have OJ and, um, coffee creamer. Sorry but I meant to stock up on stuff."

"A glass of water would be fine."

"Ice? No, wait, no ice yet," I said sheepishly. "I'm working on it but I misplaced the recipe. I guess I'm not much of a homemaker."

He chuckled at my poor homemaking skills and said "Don't be silly, it takes time. Just a warm glass of water is fine."

I handed him my one glass and went to make his sandwich. At least I had cheese and bread. "Oh, I just have some mustard, no mayo. Next time I'll check my inventory before I invite anyone up."

"Mustard is fine." I put his sandwich together and fired up my stove.

"So what brings you to my neighborhood?"

"There is this sweet old lady that called me because her TV was on the fritz. I'm not a TV repairman but I just went to look and her cable connection got loose. I just tightened 'er up and it worked fine. She's happy."

"How much do you charge for a house call like that?"

"Oh, someone like her I don't bother charging anything, I'm just happy to do it." What an angel this man is, I thought. "Good sandwich, Carli," he lied as I sat on my only chair.

Between bites he said, "Oh, hey, I almost forgot."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You like music, you know like jazz and blues?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Well if you are free this weekend there is a live music festival on this Saturday if you'd like to join me, I go just about every year."

"Well that sounds like fun, sure, I'd like that."

He seemed real pleased at my response. "Great, I can pick you up around 10, the music starts at noon and runs through the evening."

"Ok, maybe I'll make us a picnic lunch to take, I hope you like
grilled cheese and water," I kidded, "it's my specialty."

He laughed and then said, "Perfect, that's my favorite! Nobody makes those like you!" And we had a good laugh.

It was so nice to laugh again. I realized that neither of the other men I was with were like that, they were both serious and mostly concerned with themselves.

After Pete left I wondered why he hasn't tried to make a move on me. I guess maybe he is just a gentleman...or already has a someone or gay...or it's just never come up. I thought I'd ask him. I mean I know he has his pets but does he have a wife or ex-wife or girlfriend or boyfriend? I know he likes me, it shows, but maybe he's just taking his time. I like that idea. I've been way too eager and it might be good for me to slow down. Being female has turned everything upside down and inside out but I need to remember that I am a woman for the rest of my life.

I know he likes kids, he told me about his niece and nephew and how much he enjoyed being around them. Maybe the fact that I am pregnant is attractive to him, somehow. I thought I would be stuck as a single mother but, if he is amenable, and wanted to live with me or even marry me then my baby would have a daddy. That would be so good for so many reasons. He really is a very nice man, just not as assertive or self-absorbed as the others have been. That is a good thing!

Certainly I hadn't thought of being a bride. I guess if I had a
husband that would make me the bride, a wife. Being married and being a bride are really different concepts. One is a permanent
arrangement, with all that it brings. The other is preparing,
becoming and belonging to someone. Not property but a one-time
occasion that lasts forever, hopefully. I want to give myself to the right man, a man who will love me for who I am, not who I was.

Pete buzzed me at 10 sharp. Again, he looked so nice. He dressed casual and comfy. I sort of did the same, comfy, loose dress which hid my belly a bit, a blouse with a scoop neck and puffy sleeves, hair casually up and sandals. I also took a sun hat I found at a resale store and wondered at the time why I bought it. If it got sunny it would come in handy. We took his fancy car again.

The venue was real nice, on a lake, with four or 5 stages so it was pretty easy to find something you liked. He seemed to know about a lot of the artists. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew some of them personally and he probably plays an instrument of two as well. It was a very pleasant day and it was nice to just relax and listen of music with good company. I drifted off occasionally, lulled by the rhythms. I laid my head across Pete's lap and he patted my arm. I reached up for his clever, manly hand and he didn't pull away. When the set ended he had to help me get up. I am really starting to notice the
presence in my belly. My center of balance was not what I was used to. We leisurely strolled around the venue, he bought a couple CD’s and bought me a lemonade. He shared a sip from my straw, another small but special moment for me and, I think, him. We seemed to be growing comfortable with each other. We stayed until dark, stopping at a food vendor to get some tacos and then headed back. We got to my house and I asked him if he would like to come up. He said that would be nice. We held hands in the elevator and we didn't say much. I think we both knew what was ahead.

He asked for my key and opened the door for me. Once inside I kicked off my sandals and turned to him. I looked up and he had such a pleased look on his face. We moved closer, I lifted my self up on my toes as I looked at him and then felt our lips meet. It felt so right, so welcoming.

He said, "Carli, I have been dreaming about this since the first time I saw you. I dreamt that your kisses were soft as pillows and sweet as honey and you know what? I was so wrong!"

I held my breath, thinking the worst.

"You are all that and so much more and I..."

I put my fingers to his lips and said, "Oh, please don't say it! Not yet! I have to tell you something. Something very important and I am ashamed I haven't said it before and I certainly should have told you before but..."

"No buts, Carli, just tell me. I don't believe there is anything you can say that will upset me."

Swallowing hard I took a deep breath and said, "Pete, you are the most wonderful man I have ever met and you are becoming the love of my life and maybe you think you love me but...but... the woman you see, she hasn’t always been female."

His eyes grew big with a serious look on his face and then said, “I don’t care if you used to be a Martian, I think I know who you are, what kind of gentle, loving and gorgeous woman you are and I do love you, unconditionally!"

Fearing the worst, but hoping Pete’s spirit was genuine, I was almost stunned at his reaction. He was even more perfect, if there is such a thing, than I could imagine.

I went to him and I fell deeply into his arms and, you guessed it, started crying. "Oh my gosh, Pete, you have made me the happiest girl in the world, I love you so much!"

I stopped crying long enough to explain my past and why I decided to become female.

"Well, now that you told me this I think I love you even more! What you have decided to do with your life is remarkable. You are willing to become someone who is going to help save the world, what can be more impressive than that!"

I kissed him with all the love I could generate.

With that accomplished I sat him down and told him all the details about my life as a male, the decision to sign up for
Dr.Z’s program, the process it took me on, the incident with Duane and the resulting vengeful incident, my first sex as a girl, the getting pregnant and, well, he knew the rest. He just sat and listened until we got to the part where Duane got his retribution and Pete could not stop laughing.

"That was brilliant! I wish I could have been there! Clam Queen! Oh my god!" I must admit it was quite a scene.

When I got to the topic of Devin things got more serious. Pete
couldn’t believe that someone would make a girl pregnant and then tell her he hates kids. "That’s so improper and cruel! Please don’t point him out to me at any time."

I told him to let it drop, it didn’t matter anymore. "He hasn’t
ruined my life, my life is better than it has ever been. The baby is his loss, not mine."

"That’s a good way to think of it. This is why I was so attracted to you from the beginning, you’re not like other women, oops, I didn’t mean anything by that. As far as I am concerned you are an ideal feminine creation. I mean that."

It was then and there I knew I wanted to be with this man forever.

I went to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close. He lifted me and carried me to my bed where he laid me down gently

My breathing was short as he began slowly undressed me. I watched his nimble fingers as he undid my buttons and bared my body. He expertly undid my bra and slid it off of me as his lips went to my nipples. This excited me like never before as he kissed and nibble one one while he tenderly grasped my other breast and stroked it expertly.

As rough and strong as his hands were they were so gentle on my body as he explored me, causing my body to react like it had never before. I wanted to feel his touch everywhere as his fingers tenderly stroked my folds and massaged my clit. I began to feel my body tremble as energy waves flowed through my body. I moaned in pleasure as he gently but precisely brought me to the edge of an orgasm.

I felt like my body was no longer mine but, instead, a musical
instrument of just pure energy and bliss that Pete played like a
maestro. He gently ran his rough fingers over my ever-growing belly; I was breathing so hard and deep I thought I was going to pass out. He sensed my feeling and brought his lips to mine. Our mouths were desperate for each others. Our tongues danced. I felt his hardness against my leg. Reaching down while I spread my legs I guided him into my me.

"Is this OK?" he asked. "I mean with the baby and all."

"Yes, it’s not a problem," as I continued guiding him, "but thank you for asking!"

"Do we need protection? he thoughtfully asked.

"Do you have any STD’s?"

"Uh, no."

"Well you aren’t going to make me more pregnant than I already am, are you!" I said as I felt the tip of him enter me. Oh, what a feeling! He slowly slid it in, filling me gradually until he was completely inside me. His movements were like nothing I have ever felt as he was reaching places inside me I didn’t know I had. I raised my legs up and crossed my ankles around his waist while he proceeded to get even deeper in me. I was his, he was mine, we were one. He began to stroke into me, slowly, purposely, probing inside my essence. When I began to quiver he drove me deeper into a pleasure I had not known possible. When he began to moan I waited for him to tense up and I felt him
throbbing, filling me inside with his precious seed. Each pulse felt like my entire vagina was being coated. When he finally finished I was totally limp. All I could do is lay there and feel a glow emanating from my body. Passion and pleasure, a man and a woman. The love of life, the life of love!

"My goodness, Pete, you are a wonderful lover. A truly amazing man. Thank you for showing me how making love truly feels."

He answered, "One as lovely as you deserves the best from a man. I hope I was able to fulfill your needs.”
I had never felt passion like this so I told him, "Did you ever! I have never felt this satisfied before, ever!"

"By the way, Carli, you are just beautiful! I haven’t told you that before but WOW and I mean that. The first time I saw you, you were in your grubbies, preparing to move and I thought even then you were extremely attractive with such feminine beauty. "

"You are so kind to say that," I gushed. "I think you are very
handsome, as well. Not only that but so smart, talented and kind."

We kissed some more and then he said, "Don’t hate me for saying this, but...."

"But what," I thought, thinking.

"Um, well, Carli, I hope I’m not out of line but you captivate me. Your beauty, charm and humor combine into this marvelous creature that I see before me. I’ve known other women in my life who I thought were special, I was even married to one once, but none of them could ever compare with you. I guess what I"m trying to say is I think I’m in love with you."

I was going to say something but he held up his finger, indicating he wanted to say more. "I don’t expect you to feel the same about me. I’m so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet you and I would be a happy man if we were just good friends."

Now it was my turn but I couldn’t say anything. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks again. Finally I said, "Pete, you are the nicest, warmest, kindest person I have ever known and I would be a fool to not want to be with a man like you. I love you, too. I have been feeling it inside for quite awhile but didn’t know how you felt about me. I had never been in love before and wasn’t sure how I would know, but now I do. I love you, love you, love you!"

With a huge smile he said, "Now that we both know we love each other, how about we prove it again?"

I pushed him on his back and laid on top of him, kissing him madly. I placed my hands on his chest and ran my fingers through his chest hair as I poised myself on top of his hardening manhood and rubbed the tip against my labias. I rubbed my clitoris against his shaft. His length grew deeply inside me, his hands gently kneaded my breasts, his nimble fingers twisted and gently pinched my nipples which sent shivers of joy down my body. I rubbed my crotch against his and then felt him enter me, his deepness probing every pink inch. Waves of combined
energy surged through us in orgiastic pleasure. He tensed up and our moans became the finale in our lovers’ symphony. I flopped down on his body, my vagina totally filled, my body totally satisfied, my heart and mind totally in love!

Recovering from our incredible adventure I rolled on my side and
snuggled up to him as I ran my fingers through his chest hair. No need for words, we just looked at each other, sharing our faces, exploring our bodies. It seems so silly now that I was so hesitant about being able to be so intimate with a man.

Finally I said, "Um, Pete, I must say you certainly can make a girl happy, no, not happy but exuberant. I never dreamed making love could feel this good!"

I invited him to join me in the shower and he was very pleased I
asked. I adjusted the water and stepped in and he got behind me. I was surprised but also very pleased as I felt him slide his hardness between my legs. I bent over slightly and looked down and saw it poking out between my legs. I thought, that looked vaguely familiar, although his was so much bigger than mine ever was. I can’t tell you how glad I was that I had a vagina.

He slid it back and forth between my legs as I pressed his shaft up against my folds with my fingers, occasionally bumping into my clitoris which made me squeal a bit each time. He ran his hands up my body until he rested them on my ever-growing pregnant belly.

I leaned back against him and he said, "What a beautiful mother you will make. I hope I will be there when it’s born."

He noticed I was beginning to cry so he held me close and asked me why. I was so relieved by Pete’s response to my revelation that it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and I said, “Oh Pete, I was hoping you would feel that way! To have you be with me while I have my baby would be wonderful!

He said, "It was certainly a surprise when you told me of your former life but it doesn’t change, in any way, how I feel about you. I love you and that is all that matters and I want you to feel the same. We love each other, case closed!"

I thought, this man who doesn’t seem to mind I was carrying another man’s baby was too good to be true. I told him, "I’m so glad we found each other and the fact that I am carrying another man’s baby doesn’t phase you is a blessing I was hoping for!"

I asked him if he’d like to spend the night.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I’d love to but I need to tend to my family, but I wish I could. It would be nice to wake up in the morning next to you."

It was so cute of him to call his pets his family. A man with a
loving, conscientious heart. "I understand totally." I held him close and we kissed some more. "Maybe I can meet your family someday?"

He smiled and said, "Sure, anytime. I’m sure they would all fall in love with you just like I did!"

As he was leaving he said, "This is a day I will never forget, thank you for sharing yourself with me."

I responded in kind, "I feel the same but I know this is really just the beginning for us!"

At 4 months my belly was very noticeable. I just started wearing smock-type dresses since something loose felt the most comfortable. Since I had time to myself I was able to make my place look like a real person was living here now, not some transient. The phone rang and it was Josie. I had still been avoiding her and hesitated butthis time I decided picked up.

"Hi Josie."

"Carli, hi! Thank you for answering. I hope everything is all
right."

"Yes, I’m fine."

"We need to talk," she said.

"Yes, we do! How are you and the baby?"

"Sam is 4 months old now and is doing fine, gaining weight and the OB says he is healthy. How about you?"

"I’m so glad your son is doing so well and it sounds like you are enjoying motherhood. I definitely have my baby bump, we’re 4 months and am scheduled for a checkup next week. I moved, as you probably now, into the city."

She started sniffling a bit and said, "Yes, I know. I miss you!"

I realized I missed her too.

"Can we meet sometime, I’d like to catch up with you?" she asked.

"Um, sure. I’m kinda avoiding the campus area, can you come here?"

"Oh course, can I bring Sam?"

"Please do, I’d love to meet him."

We decided on three days from now. In the meantime I was going to prepare a special, romantic dinner for Pete. I had called him earlier in the day and asked him come over the next night. I thought of what transpired after Josie and Dr. Z told me what they done without informing me. At the time I was very angry that they kept those details about Devin a secret from me. It has been a couple months now and my life has changed so much it doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. Besides, I was anxious to see Josie and her son.

Actually I thought I might be able to get some cooking tips and
recipes from Josie. I knew that if I was going to be a proper wife and mother I needed to know how to feed my family. On the internet I found some pretty easy and yummy-sounding recipes so I practiced making a baked chicken recipe as well as trying to make mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and a green salad. Apparently first time’s a charm. I did what they said and it came out yummy. It was just practice on a small portion but I felt confident in serving the same thing to Pete tomorrow.

Pete arrived on time, as usual. Once again he looked very nice and comfortably dressed. I wore a white, flirty flouncy skirt with a colorful off-shoulder blouse, flat sandals and hair in a high ponytail. I just wore a minimum of makeup. Those big hoop earrings and a thin gold chain finished my look. When he saw me he said, “You look like what spring smells like!

He says such sweet things to me and I know he means every word. How can I not love this man! After a little smooching on the couch I set the table and, of course, he helped. He was excited to know that I prepared dinner for us instead of going out. I also told him that tonight’s menu was Deluxe Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and a carafe of water, with ice cubes, shaken not stirred. He laughed hard at that and picked me up as he spun us around as he kissed me.

"My favorite? Just for me? What an honor!" he kidded.

Definitely in love with him!

Dinner turned out to be a great success. We sat side by side outside on the deck, holding hands while the sun set. He turned to me, looking intently and said, "Miss Carli Jane Thomas? I just wanted to tell you how much I love you."

"Well, Mr. Peter Ames Rogers, I love you too!

We looked into each others eyes and knew what the other was thinking. We both stood up and wordlessly headed for my bedroom, Pete held my hand and I followed.

Our lovemaking that night was extraordinary although I was on my side most of the time. My belly was too hard to ignore now. It was fun, a new position, a new orgasm. I love it when he makes love to me!

A few days later Josie buzzed and I went out to meet her; I asked if she needed any help. She seemed loaded down with not just her baby but a diaper bag and purse. She had Sam in a sling kind of thing that went around one shoulder and held the baby firmly, and comfortably, against her body. I thought I should probably get one too.

We smiled at each other and went to hug each other. Josie smoothly moved the sling around so we wouldn’t squeeze the baby so we could hug, although my protruding belly was obvious. We told each other how much we missed the other but the talk never got around to why I disappeared for awhile.

Then I said, "I must see your baby!

Josie effortlessly moved the sling back around and motioned me to position my arms like hers.

"Maybe I should sit down first?"

"Sure, whatever you think, mom! She called me "mom!" No one has said that yet but I loved how it sounded.

She placed her son in my arms and it was instant love! I was almost overcome with excitement as I looked at his cute, chubby face and the way he wiggled around. He was so warm and fresh and felt so right in my arms. I cried a bit, of course, but only out of total happiness. I loved the noises he made, his baby smell, this little human creature, full of pure and total love and, at this stage, totally helpless.

Josie said, "You look like a natural."

"Oh, look at him, he’s perfect! Hi, Sam, I’m your Auntie Carli! In a few months I will have a playmate for you. Oh, Josie, I can hardly wait until I have mine!"

Josie said, "You are getting there, of course, but your 3rd trimester is the real challenge. Everything you do will be such a chore. Your feet will swell, you can’t bend over, your belly will be bumping into everything and you will have to pee every 15 minutes. If your lucky, like me, you will have Braxton Hicks pains for a preview of what’s to come. Of course it was different for me delivering a premie. I was so worried after that happened but my little guy got strong and healthy pretty quickly. Now he’s my perfect little man!"

I wanted to know about the labor pains and she said It was all so sudden with her.

"It just hit me so fast and the next thing I knew I was in the
delivery room and because he was so tiny he slipped right out of me pretty quickly and the pain was tolerable."

I asked, "Do you think you will have another?"

She was quick to answer, "Yes, for sure! Michael and I talked about it
and he said he’d like a big family, like 4 or more kids. I told him that first we’ll have another and then go from there and he agreed."

"Men! If they only knew what we girls go through!" When we realized we both used to be men we laughed so hard we were almost crying. We laughed so much I think we maybe we woke up my baby because he/she was quite lively in there.

"Isn’t that a remarkable feeling? I just loved it whenever he kicked,” said Josie. Then she had an idea; that I should put Sam on my belly and maybe he can feel his new friend.

"Oh, yes, let’s!" I turned him to face my belly and he put his arms out like he was greeting an old friend. Just then my baby did kick and Sam burst out in his joyful baby laughter. What a wonderful moment! Josie and I both squealed a bit and then we tried a group hug.

It felt so good to be with Josie again. "The whole journey has been remarkable to say the least and the best part is still coming for me! I am so glad to see you again, I missed you so much!"

"Me, too! And Dr. Z, he told me to give you a big hug and kiss."

It was so helpful having Josie there. She taught me so much about dealing with an infant. How to properly nurse him, then how to burp him. About why he might be crying, the proper way to change diapers, when to try and catch a nap and so much more. I asked her about Michael and she said he was very helpful but it could be stressful when Sam starts crying in the middle of the night. Eventually, though, the talk got around to my love life.

I told her about Bill 310 and what a disappointment he was. The only lover I had besides him and Devin was the wonderful Pete. Without getting into the details I just told her that the sex has been amazing and so much better as female. She totally agreed. I told her he might stop by, as he often did, so maybe she could meet him. She was happy to hear I was learning how to cook. She said she had gotten pretty good at it and that she will be happy when Sam goes on real food.

I was going to bring up why I disappeared for awhile but then I heard my buzzer go off. It was Pete!

"Pete, I want you to me my dear friend, Josie and her son Sam.
"Josie, Sam, this is Pete."

"Well, hello, Josie, nice to meet you and aren’t you a handsome young man, Sam."

If Josie were to look at me she would see me beaming because my
closest friends were here with me.

"Pete, we were just talking about you and what a fine man you are."

Jodie piped in, "Yes, she says you are very skilled in so many
things."

"Well, it’s not all that special, it’s just what I do."

"See, I told you he was modest, didn’t I? Jodie."

"Well sorry to barge in unannounced but I stopped in to take my lady out to lunch. Instead how about I take both of you lovely ladies to lunch...and this handsome young man too, of course."

Jodie said, "Thank you for the offer, Pete, but I need to head back towards home and I want to beat the traffic."

"Totally understood. Well, I’m sure we will meet again. Maybe next time?" said Pete.

We gathered up all of Sam’s stuff and, of course, Pete took it all down to Josie’s car.

We hung back a little and Josie whispered in my ear, "Wow, he’s real nice and so cute. Lucky you and lucky him. You two make a beautiful couple."

"Thank you, I really like him!" I didn’t think I needed to tell her how easy it turned out to be to fall in love with this man.

We waved Josie and Sam away and as Pete and I walked back he said, "Josie seems real nice. You know her from...?"

"From school" I answered quickly. I was going to discuss with Josie about whether or not to tell Pete about our similar histories. She said she hasn’t told Michael about her past thinking she might lose him if he found out. I understand her thinking but I felt differently. I felt like whoever it is I get serious with needs to know about my male past. I should have done that with Devin and, knowing his similar path, it might have made our relationship totally different. As far as Bill 310 is concerned he had his fun with me and I’ll leave it at that.

"Well, are you up to having a bite?" asked Pete.

"Um, sure, just give me a few minutes to pull myself together."

"Sure, he said, I have a couple hours before I need to go help someone fix her washing machine. She just lives a few blocks away."

I changed my blouse since Sam spit up a little on it, knotted up my hair, put on a bit of lip gloss. Then I grabbed Pete’s arm and off we went. He took me to some place that I’ve seen but never been to. It looked like an old school bus but it served tacos. Once again, it was something new to me. He told me to sit at the picnic table and then ordered for me. It was a very informal, more like eating with family. He said these were authentic tacos and much better than you’d find at a Taco Bell. Then he explained the different spicy sauces and said, "Just use your hands, like this!" He showed me.

Oh my they were so good although I avoided the hot salsas for my
baby’s sake.

"Have you ever been south of the border?" he asked.

"Who me, no. I haven’t been anywhere."

"Well, I was wondering if you might like to join me on a trip to Costa Rica. It’s a beautiful place, amazing natural beauty, lots of beaches and wonderfully nice people. I’ve been there a few times and it’s like paradise. It would be all on me and we could spend a week or two exploring the country. What do you say?"

"Oh wow, it sounds fantastic. I love to swim but have never been in salt water. I don’t know about you paying for me, though."

Pete said, "Don’t worry about that. I want to and besides it isn’t that expensive down there."

"Well what about my baby?"

"Oh, he or she can come too!" he laughed. "It should be fine but that’s why I am asking now, before you get any further along."

"Well, it sounds like a lot of fun but I need to check with my OB first. You don’t mind?"

"Of course not, I want you to enjoy it but I also want you to feel safe in doing so."

I leaned over the table and kissed him. "Pete, you are incredible. One amazing surprise after another. I’ll make an appointment with my OB as soon as I get back home."

He smiled and said, "You know something, Carli, I would be happy doing just about anything with you. You bring such joy to me!"

I felt like I found my partner in life. He was so kind, honest and charming and I was falling deeply in love! I know what people mean when they say they were swept off their feet because that is exactly how it felt!

I actually had not yet set up an OB in my new city but I found one that wasn’t too far away and set an appointment for the following day. I was nervous showing up with no medical records or history to share. I decided the best thing to do is tell the doctor the truth and see what happens. It turns out she knew about Dr. Z’s work and she was very cool about it and treated me as if I was a genetic girl in her first pregnancy. She said she did not see why I shouldn’t be tested as such since, as Dr. Z said, I am a genetic female. The testing wasn’t a lot different than what Dr. Z performed, specula included, except now I was pregnant. My OB, Dr. Meyer, she said to call her Suzy, was very helpful and concluded that there is no reason to worry, I should go on this trip and enjoy it without any issues. She did want me to schedule a follow up in my 3rd trimester, however.

When I got back home I called Pete and said, "Honey, take me away! Take us to Costa Rica!"

He was so happy and said he would stop by later for a little
celebration.

Since I thought I would be swimming a lot I went and bought 3 more suits and just one of them was actually a maternity style one. The others were bikinis, of course, so my belly bump would not be an issue. I had one on when Pete came by. He buzzed and I just opened the door and then stepped back to model one of the bikinis. As soon as he came through the door his eyes bulged and said, "Oh my goodness, you are definitely a bathing beauty. Come here, my beautiful girlfriend!"

No one ever called me ‘girlfriend’ before, of course. Or ‘beautiful’ either. I loved it that I was somebody’s girlfriend and that wonderful man was my boyfriend! It was a dream coming true.

We landed at the San Jose Airport and immediately headed towards the beach from the lovely hotel which was just steps away from the ocean. The air was soft and warm and the salt air so refreshing. He was right about the Costa Rican people, of course, they were all wonderfully nice. He booked an ocean-side room where we changed into our swimsuits and headed out to the shore. I started out wearing the one-piece, my belly prominently on display.

The water was so warm, almost like taking a bath. There were warning posted in several places saying to be cautious of the rip tides and to avoid walking near the waves during low tides because of stinging rays. Since I spent most of my swimming life in heated pools those were things I never had to worry about before.

As we were walking along the beach a pregnant Costa Rican woman came up to me, pointed at my belly and said, "¿Cuántos meses de embarazo?"

I just looked confused, then at Pete who said she wants to know how many months pregnant you are. I smiled at her and put up 4 fingers.

Pete said, "Cuatro meses, senora, cuantos meses para usted?"

"Cinco meses," she answered.

Pete said she is "5 months along." She and I both smiled and gently touched each others belly, sharing a universal language of motherhood. We hugged each other, our bellies rubbing on each others and she smiled and said, "Adios madre y padre," as she left. I really liked her.

She said, "Goodbye mother and father," didn’t she? so I guess she thought you are the dad."

Pete didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t know what else to say to him. We walked further along the beach, not saying anything until I cleared my throat and said, "So you seem pretty OK with being with me even though..." as I pointed to my belly.

He thought for a few seconds before saying "Well, I would be a happy man if I was the dad but I’m still happy knowing you are the mom. I guess I mean that I love you and so I love your baby. I’d be lying If I said it doesn’t matter to me who the dad is but in the big picture, a mom and dad should be together. Now it doesn’t matter who this guy is but I don’t respect him at all if he just left you two alone."

I held both his hands in mine and pulled myself closer to him. “Pete, you would make a wonderful dad. In some ways you already are. Any woman, pregnant or not, would be lucky to have you in their life."

He released me from his arms and said, "Well this is a good a time as any..." as he reached into his pocket and knelt on one knee. Oh my, was he going to ask me to marry him? I was speechless as he said, "Carli, you know how I feel about you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you…"

My entire body was trembling and I was on the verge of tears, of
course, but they were the happiest tears I ever had!

"Carli, I love you more than life itself and I want you to be my
bride, will you make me the luckiest and happiest man in the world and marry me, please?"

Stunned I looked at his face and he looked so happy. The tears gushed out of me as I said, "Yes, yes, I will marry you, Pete, I love you with all that is me!"

Still on his knees he took my left hand and slipped on this gorgeous diamond ring. It must have cost a fortune. He yelled out to no one and everyone, "She said yes! Ella dijo que si!" and people around us yelled out congratulations and waves and all of a sudden a celebration party happened. This was too good to be true. I just held him tight against me and let it sink in. I was going to be a wife! I was going to have a husband! My baby is going to have a daddy! We are going to
be a family!

I was too distracted to swim now. We headed back to our room where, after showers, I went and sat on his lap. Baby and I were probably crushing him but he just kissed me and hugged us. The three of us just stayed like this until, suddenly, I felt the baby move. I grabbed his hand and held it over the spot and then....our baby kicked again!

He howled in delight! "Our baby kicked!" he said. "OUR baby! What a wonderful man! His smile could light up the night sky.

I watched baby’s foot, hand, who knows, press against the inside of my belly and felt it’s little kick-like movements. I just know she, I’ve started to think of our baby as a she, I just know she telling me she’s getting ready to meet me. Then I looked at my hand I saw my beautiful wedding ring. What a day. What a day to be a woman, a pregnant woman and somebody’s fiance!!!!!! What a joyous day!

After all that excitement I told Pete we needed to lie down. By “we" I meant me and our baby. Pete went to the local watering hole to celebrate with some of his buddies. Everybody loves him, so it’s no wonder I do.

The fact that he refers to my baby as our baby makes me feel that all is right in the world. I’m hoping that someday Pete will want to have a child with me. Getting married, though, presents a whole lot of preparation and work. I don’t know if he has a date set in mind but I think I would rather give birth first and then have our wedding. I also don’t know what he has in his head about what kind of wedding we will have. I know I would like, perhaps like most girls’ wishes, a beautiful, full-length wedding gown. I doubt there is anything feminine as that. I would probably prefer a small ceremony but, not knowing what Pete has envisioned, I wouldn’t mind a church wedding and
lots of guests either. Then again I’d be happy going to Las Vegas and have Elvis perform the ceremony. The only thing that mattered is my, our, baby and Pete.

I was still awake when Pete came back, a little tipsy but still in control. He came to bed and kissed me and said, "Well hello, the future Mrs. Peter Ames Rogers, it is I, the future Mr. Carli Jane Smith-Rogers!" And let’s not forget Daddy Peter Ames Rogers, as well.

I told him he was being silly and he snapped to attention and said, “I am silly! Silly in love with the girl of my dreams."

I responded, "This girl of your dreams does love this silliness but so much more than that. To be honest I really haven’t had much time to think about a future husband but now I don’t need to, I already found him!"

With a mischievous smile he asked, "Hm, I wonder if she is ticklish? Let’s see. How about here!" as he went for my feet.

"No, no," I squeaked, "please don’t. No, No, Stop it, you’ll make me wet myself!" As he then stopped tickling and instead began kissing my toes. It felt wonderful and started to get me excited. He kissed my feet and then kissed his way up my legs. My knees, specifically the backs of my knees are especially sensitive and he knows it. He was getting me very hot as he continued to work his way up.

He slid my nightie up and I found myself spreading my legs without thinking. He kissed and nibbled his way up to my vagina and then started licking a sucking my clitoris while placing a finger inside me. Almost immediately I began to tremble with excitement. While continuing to pleasure my clitoris he also explored my depths, first with one finger, then two, then three which he then spread wide inside me. Oh my GAWD! I was so wet inside! Then he pulled his fingers out slowly and drove his tongue inside. He sniffed deeply and said, “Your scent is like spring itself, full of promise and beauty. Madame, I am your humble servant. I am powerless!"

How different Is Pete’s lovemaking skills compared to, say, Bill 310. He was all about satisfying himself and if he was able to satisfy his partner as well then he considered himself a stud. Pete is just the opposite. My take is that he thinks about satisfying his partner first, then himself. I’m a lucky woman!

The rest of the trip was very fun. We went to a hotel with fantastic hot springs which were fed from a nearby active volcano. It was fun to float around on the warming waters even though my belly was so obvious. We stopped at small, quaint towns to do some souvenir shopping. Went to a butterfly ranch where we could walk around in a netted area and have butterflies flitting all around us. Took a nature walk through the tropical jungle and saw all sorts of plants and wildlife foreign to me. Stopped at a bridge overlooking a river filled with alligators, or maybe they were crocodiles. Either way, it wasn’t something you see every day unless you lived in Florida. Mostly, though, we went to different beaches, of which there were many. Some were surfer hangouts and I wished I could try it but with my center of balance quite different I don’t think my belly would
allow it. I watched Pete try his luck but I’m afraid he was off the board more than on. We had a good laugh about it when he came back to me. All in all it was one of my most memorable weeks of my life. It was my first journey out of the US, heck, out of the boonies. I’ve never been anywhere or done much, I guess. Just grew up a clueless boy, go to school, eat, sleep, repeat. Already Pete has shown this girl so much.

6 months along now and I’m really feeling like I wish this would be over and my baby was already here. Just the difficulty in getting comfortable is a real pain. What kept me going was, of course, thinking about my wedding. As soon as I got home I called Josie. She was thrilled for me, of course. She lamented that Michael still hasn’t proposed. I told her that nowadays it isn’t as important as it used to be, that just finding someone who loves you is what’s important. She sighed and then said "You know, I think he’s cheating on me. I think he’s got another girlfriend because he keeps coming up with reasons he has to "work late" which he never did before." She was crying now and I teared up as well. I wished I hadn’t mentioned my proposal.

"I’m so sorry to hear that, Josie. Is there anything I can do for you and Sam?" "Yes, find another gem like Pete." She managed a little bit of a laugh with that.

My Pete really is a gem! I am so lucky to have him. I asked her if she wanted to come over but she said she was pretty busy with work, that they have 5 new recruits and so she is really busy right now.

"Wow, 5! I’m glad to hear there are others willing to go through all this."

Josie said, " Well, three of them are doing it just for the money, I think, so whether they go through the entire program is doubtful but the other 2 seem like excellent candidates. Actually Dr.Z. wanted me to ask you if you would be willing to come and perhaps give a little talk about your experience. He says that you are the best to come through the program, so far."

I was surprised that she wasn’t the best since she is the one who guided me all along the way. Josie thanked me but said, "No, I agree with his judgement, you are by far the most successful to come through."

I told her I would have to think about that. I wasn’t keen on
returning to Room 01 or the campus at all, for that matter. Then I told her she is welcome to come by anytime and I could even babysit Sam sometime. She thanked me but had a diaper to deal with so we said our goodbyes.

I talked to Pete about Dr. Z’s invitation and Pete, being the kind of man he is, said I should do it if it helps others and that he would be willing drive me there. I thought about it and he was right, if it would help others on this important duty then it would be worth the effort.

Being 6 months along when we made the trip. I was getting so big now that it was more difficult to drive since the steering wheel rubbed against my belly. I’m so glad Pete volunteered to drive me. I should say "to drive us" since baby is certainly a part of me.

"You seem nervous, sweetheart. Take a few deep breaths and think pleasant thoughts like bunnies and, uh, babies."

I tried what he suggested and it did help. Seeing the building where Room 01 is brought back many memories, mostly good. I can’t imagine what must be going through the minds of the new students. On the way here I pointed out to Pete where the infamous pool party happened and passed the dorm where I lived and Devin’s frat house. Gosh, all that seems like years ago.

Room 01 looked exactly the same. I told Pete that it’s funny to think that when I first came to Room 01 I was a boy, trying to be a man.
When I left I was a girl, learning how to be a woman. He said, “You should use that statement in your presentation. It pretty much sums it up, right?" I nodded yes, I was so nervous.

Carli and Dr.Z. were both waiting at the door. This is the first time I have seen or spoken to the doctor since I left. We hugged and I was actually happy to see him. They both congratulated Pete and I on our marriage. Our last meeting didn’t end well but I have since forgiven him for the whole Devin thing. He realized he made an error in judgement regarding Devin. Pete and I hugged and kissed Josie and
she introduced Dr. Z to Pete who said, "I have heard so much about you work. It is remarkable and if it wasn’t for you I never would have found my fiance, so I thank you!" Dr. Z. Just shook off the compliments and wanted to get started, as usual. With that Pete excused himself and said he would meet me in the coffee shop.

Dr. Z said, "Josie said she told you about our latest students,
correct?"

"Yes, I have heard you have 5 this time."

Josie stepped up and said, "Actually one more joined this morning so 6 now. Shall we meet them?"

We went into the screening room where I spent many, many hours. Josie introduced us to them, 6 young men who will, with hard work, desire and dedication, will eventually become fertile women if all goes well. Right now they just looked like typical college males, slouching and acting cool but you could see they were nervous. I could tell, the were checking me out, especially my belly.

One student named Jason raised his hand and asked me if I thought it was worth it.

"That depends on what worth is to you. If you are like I was then you will have many questions, doubts and maybe some anxiety. I know I did. I also did not really pay attention to what the entire program was about." I glanced at Josie and Dr.Z. who both chuckled. "I was just looking to make some money for expenses. However as the changes in my body and thought processes occurred I started to appreciate this ‘gift’ and eventually made me a much better person and finally became the fertile female you see in front of you."

"And she is not only fertile but..." as Josie gave me a peek and I nodded. "She is not only fertile but, as you an see, she is 6 months pregnant." You could see in their eyes that this was more than just a means to make some money but would definitely change their lives plus provide a service to humanity.

One of the students asked the inevitable question. "Was you a gay before, I mean, you must like guys if you are getting pregnant and all or did you just become attracted to guys after you was female. I like girls so what happens there?"

"Good question. No, I was not gay. The thought never crossed my mind. Am I gay now? No. I have a fiancé and our relationship is heterosexual. I dated women when I was male and I dated guys when I became female. I was hetero before and I still am It just happens. Well, actually, Dr.Z’s program helps make it happen but it’s really how you handle the input you are given that decides whether or not you are hetero. I believe that’s correct, Doctor?"

"Yes, Carli explains it very well. All we do in the preliminary stage is basically planting ideas and concepts. You do the rest of it. It’s like walking down an unfamiliar street and having to turn, left or right. You choose the one based on your personal judgement. Experience tells us that the one route you ultimately choose is based on what your brain, eyes and ears have been interpreting for you during your treatments. You might decide to be a lesbian or bisexual. We have 2 graduates who have become lesbians and both have delivered babies and raised them as lesbian moms."

"Thank you, doctor, that is how it happened for me. Apparently I did prefer the feminine side over the masculine in ways I did not realize. It was probably, what 2 months or so in the program, correct me if I’m wrong, Josie, that I turned the corner. From then on it was just a matter of becoming aware of what I did, how I did it and how I felt about it after. When the images and sounds of babies became more prevalent I knew, in my heart, that I would dedicated myself to ultimately becoming a mother. In fact, getting pregnant became my focus. I sincerely wanted to give birth and raise a family. Today I am 6 months pregnant, engaged to this wonderful man, Pete, and happier and more satisfied with my life than I thought possible. Dr. Zillow
is a genius and all of you should feel lucky to be involved in his system. Josie, as you may or may not know, was also male, like all of you and me, and is now the mother of a beautiful baby boy." The boys’ heads all swiveled towards Josie; no doubt they had no idea about Josie.

So you see what happens to you it’s totally up to you. Remember, one of the requirements is that you get pregnant. I know that sounds like a big deal but becoming a woman is no easy task and part of that deal is that you will eventually have everything you need inside of you to create a human being, if can you imagine. Right now you have all the wrong parts to have a baby but, if you stay with the program, you will have the right parts, and most of those parts are there for one reason, to become pregnant. How you get pregnant is ultimately up to you. You could be artificially inseminated and there would be
absolutely no contact with a male. You could volunteer to carry a surrogate child for a barren woman who desires a child and get paid handsomely. Not all of us will be able to have what is called a normal birth, some of us who don’t have wider hips among other things will have to have a cesarean delivery. I was one of the lucky ones, because I was shorter than most males and my body shape was more pear-shaped the magic that Dr.Z performed meant I now had wider hips. Hopefully when it comes time to deliver my baby I can deliver him or her the way women have been doing so since the beginning. I find it incredibly unbelievable yet here we are, Josie and I, as living proof.

One of the students said, "I can’t believe that you and Josie used to be guys. You are both so feminine. Will I be that feminine as well? Is there anything that happened to you that you regret."

Carli said, "I can only speak for myself but there really is nothing that I am unhappy with concerning my body and mind. How about you, Josie?"

She said, "My only regret is that I did not start sooner, mainly
because by now I could have been pregnant a few more times." We all laughed!

Another student asked, "Was the pain unbearable when you delivered your baby, Josie?"

"Well for one thing it came as a complete surprise because my baby was premature. But yes it does hurt, it hurts a lot but it’s so so worth it.."

With that Dr.Z. said it was time for the new students to get started. I asked the students if they wanted to touch my belly. Two of them did and their eyes got big, the others weren’t sure and declined. I totally understood their reservation. I took the hand of one boy and placed it on my belly, a place baby has been restless. It was just a minute or so and he kinda jumped. "I felt it, I felt it move. That was amazing." Soon all the boys were trying.

Before they got started Dr. Z thanked Josie and I for being kind
enough to answer these questions. As I watched Josie get the students set up for their first session with the headphones and clickers I thought about my first session with her. It seems like years ago and it’s barely been a year.

Dr. Z and I left the classroom and wandered to the coffee shop to meet up with Pete.

Dr. Z said, "Congratulations to you both. You are a lucky man, sir. Carli is one of the sweetest females I have had the pleasure to know. She told me her baby’s father didn’t want to be involved so that makes your commitment even more meaningful. It has always been the goal of this program to try and make happy, committed couples and you two certainly seemed to fit be the ideal. It only serves to validate what we are trying to do here and I thank you for that."

I was going to say something but Dr. Z being Dr. Z, he just shook hands with Pete, turned his cheek toward me so I could kiss it and then hug him. Once outside I turned to Pete and put my arms around his neck and told him how glad I was he accompanied me and that he got a chance to meet Dr.Z.

I mentioned that I was so nervous meeting the new applicants but the doctor said I didn’t seem nervous at all and did a very good job describing your perspective. We held hands as we walked to the car. I was exhausted and wanted to go home so I could lay down. My back was killing me and it seemed like baby was agitated. I was trying to decide if baby could tell that I was stressed out a bit or anxious and that’s why there was so much movement in my belly. 3 more months! Sigh! I was beginning to question my plan on having lots of babies. This boy or girl is making it clear that I needed to slow down and relax. The last few months had been filled with travel and stress. Luckily I have Pete and his patience!

7 months along and I can’t believe how much my belly has extended. It is truly amazing how much a woman’ body changes from month to month. Getting up and down in a chair takes a lot of time and effort. I also have to pee what seems like 15 minutes as Josie described. Hot flashes, legs cramps, irritability, more hot flashes, stretch marks, digestion problems, and I just noticed my belly button went from an innie to an outie. So far, though, the Braxton-Hicks pains have been
the worst. If this is a taste of what my labor pain will be like I can tell you I am not looking forward to it since labor pains are supposedly much worse. I remember Josie told me how awfully
uncomfortable the BH pains were. I mean it only lasts for 30 seconds or so but it feels like longer but 30 seconds of pain seems like a lot to endure, for sure. She told me the best thing to do is change my position. Lie down, take a walk, have a warm bath and have a massage. Often, if he was present, Pete would massage my back which would really help.

I went to see my OB and she said everything looked fine. I’m used to these invasions of privacy now, I just get on the table, spread my legs, put my feet in the stirrups and let her check out my lady parts. This time she asked me if I wanted to know the baby’s gender. At first I wanted it to be a surprise but now I was very curious. She said because I’m carrying my baby high that it probably will be a girl. Then she showed me my scan and she was right. I was so excited! I could actually see her moving around inside of me! I didn’t tell Pete yet but I did tell Josie. She was excited as I was and said, "Seeing my baby moving made it so real. I was so happy. In fact I thought I had a daughter in there the whole time!"

Josie told me that she is organizing a baby shower for me. I was totally surprised at the news. It’s probably something I should have thought to do for Josie but the thought never crossed my mind. Luckily Mrs. Z was way ahead of me. I promised Josie that I would organize her next baby shower.

Mrs.Z rented a social space on campus and invited former and new
students, the 3 former students I had met before were invited but were previously engaged but Mrs Z and my OB Suzy were there along with some students I had met before. I had no idea what to wear. I mean the only things I had that would fit were my maternity dresses so I cobbled together an outfit with a peasant blouse on top and long full skirt and sandals. I doubt I could look more ‘motherly’.

All the guests were so nice to me. It turns out all of them had gone though or are going to go though the same process. Erica and Jeri I already knew from Room 01. They were both quite feminine now in appearance and demeanor and they were full of questions for me and Josie. Two other girls went through the program with Josie. One, Colleen, was quite pretty, a little chubby and really quiet. She was 4 months along and was doing well. The other, Roberta, was still trying and getting frustrated that she wasn’t pregnant yet.

We shared stories, had a nice light lunch provided by Josie and Dr.Z. When Josie brought up the story of the pool party they were all in tears of laughter about the ‘Clam Queen’.

They gave me some wonderful gifts such as baby clothes, toys and, most of all, diaper service. I knew that was going to come in handy. I already resolved to not use disposables.

It was a fun time. I mean you could almost feel the estrogen pulsing. Pete remarked that very thing when he came to pick me up. The comparison between this party and one I would have attended as a guy was startling.

Back then we’d sit around and eat junk food, drink lots of beer, watch football, fart, belch and high five each other. This party was all about sharing stories of babies, gossip about guys, shared tears and hugs of joy. It was truly wonderful to feel the love.

Later that night Pete and I tried making love but it was a struggle. I tried getting on all fours and he took me from behind but, with my heavy boobs and belly bouncing around it became quite uncomfortable. We tried with me on my side and that worked better but all the time I was worrying about the baby so I never orgasmed. As long as Pete could get satisfied is all I cared about, ultimately.

8 months along now. More of the same but more intense. Josie loaned me her birthing ball and it was just what I needed at this stage. Because it was soft and pliable I would sit on it instead of a hard-backed chair. She showed me some exercises to try and it seemed to alleviate some of the pressure down there. I have put on 25 pounds so far and I really feel it in my feet and ankles. When I walk it looks like I am waddling like a duck. I seem to be a little clumsy now, probably from the added weight and my constantly changing center of gravity. My baby seems to have dropped lower which means she is getting into position for delivery. Also having heartburn, indigestion, fatigue and hot flashes. My breasts have started leaking, The worst part is I have been very irritable. I barked at Pete the other day for just a little thing. I asked for a cup of tea and it was too strong. I mean, it was nothing, no big deal, but I made it a big deal. I could tell that it bothered him so I apologized deeply. He deserves nothing but gold stars in my book.

Josie and Sam came by for a visit. She and Michael decided to mend fences so they are back together again. I’m so happy for her. She said the last group of students are having mixed results. One left the program after a week. Another had missed too many sessions and had to be dropped. There were 4 left and 2 of them were doing fine and 2 were a little slower in grasping the concepts so it took more of her time to work with them. The 2 that were doing well, she thought, would ultimately become excellent mothers. One of them, Eric has already assumed a female presence, changing his name to Erica and dressing as female. I envy him, er, Erica. She gets to learn the wonders of becoming female just as I did. I asked Josie to give her
my best and that after I deliver I will come for a visit. Hopefully by them a few of the others will also be prospective girls and mothers. When I think back on it I realize what an amazing journey this has been...and it’s not over yet

Sam is growing so fast. I held him for most of the time they were there, nuzzling, hugging, and smothering him with kisses. I told him he was such a handsome boy. He’s grown so much since I last saw him. He is so much more aware of his surroundings, his hand-eye coordination is fun to watch. It’s amazing how fast they change at this age. I had a chance to feed him, burp him and change his diapers. All good things to practice before I would be doing the very same things, every day. He is at the age where he smiles all the time and it just melts my heart when he does. I can hardly wait! His mom and I reminisce about the ‘old days’ which was less than a year ago. I told her I remember when I was busy trying my best to learn the basics of being a girl. Besides all the hair, makeup and dressing tips she told me a few tricks like removing your bra under your clothes. At that time I was having a hard enough time trying to put a
bra on, much less removing it. Another handy tip was how to stop a run in my hose before it got worse by using clear nail polish. Of course she also taught me some tricks on how to seduce a man which is totally not what I tried to do back when I was a guy and trying to seduce a girl. Sometimes, a wink, smile or an innocent touch is all that’s needed, I found out. She said I needed to realize that being a female has powers but to use them wisely and that men are, generally, pushovers and she couldn’t believe she was so naive.

Pete, as always, has been concerned and caring. He has been staying some nights with me now, especially if I am having a difficult time. Eventually I will move to his place since we can’t let his ‘Family’ stay in this condo. My lease will be up in 8 months.

It’s almost unbelievable the change in my life in just a little over a year. I went from being a competitive male swimmer to an expectant female mom. I went from worrying about lap times to worrying about menstrual cycles. I will soon be giving birth to, I hope, a healthy infant. After that I will be marrying the man of my life. Amazing! I will have a family to care for and have never been so happy!

I’m finally in my 9th month and I am so ready to deliver. My baby has been pounding away on my insides. My poor uterus is probably black and blue inside and I barely got possession of it. All the symptoms of last month are still there but just more intense. I have my ‘Go bag’ already packed an by the door. Pete has been staying at my place so he can take me when it’s time. He has a house sitter for his ‘family’ in the meantime. It’s nice to have him in my bed although we can’t do anything. I just roll around and moan. He just rubs my back and my feet, wipes my sweaty forehead with a cool towel and helps me get up when I have to go potty. I mean, what else could I ask for?
He’s a keeper, for sure. My OB says my due date is on the 15th so that is just 2 weeks away.

We have been working on names and so far we have, for girls, Rose, Erin, Monica and Petra (the closest we could come to Pete beside Petunia and I would hate for her to have to deal with a name like that in school.). For boys we have Cooper, Hazen, Walker and Burke (my mom’s maiden name). I hadn’t told Pete what the OB said about the baby being a girl. It was my secret.

Josie said I should shave "down there" which makes it neater and
easier to keep clean in the postpartum. I had never done that and I had to ask Pete to help me since I couldn’t really see what I was doing down there. He was glad to help.

"Pete! It’s time!"

He jumped out of bed, helped me sit up, then threw on some clothes and wrapped my robe around me and put my slippers on my feet. He steadied me as we headed for the door. With one hand grabbing the ‘Go bag’ he led me to the elevator. Just as we got into the elevator my water broke.

"Oh no," he said, well, there’s not much we can do about it now." as he led me to his car. He sped to the hospital in record time, got me in a wheelchair and then right to the maternity ward.

"How are you doing? Remember, breathe!"

I breathed with him until the nurse came and took over. All I could do was look back and say "I love you!" as the doctor came in.

"I love you too, Carli! Go make us a baby" as I burst out in tears.

I kept telling myself, "Well, this is it, I am really going to give birth to a tiny human person. Me! This is what I have been preparing for this past year so don’t mess it up, baby girl! Come out, baby!” as I screamed in pain. I thought Braxton Hicks were bad but this was 10 times more painful. It felt like my insides would explode. I had crazy thoughts like, "Did they measure right, will my baby be able to come out? What if she gets stuck?" even though I knew my doctor, and Dr Z. knew that everything would be fine.

My contractions were about 30 seconds every 20 minutes or so but now they were at least a minute long every couple of minutes. I sensed I was getting close.

Pete was right there, holding my hand and helping me breathe. It seems like hours and I had only dilated 2cm’s. My doctor said I was at 40% effacement. The labor would calm down and then come back, me almost yelling, pleading, to get the baby out. This must have been the active labor Josie described as "The ring of fire." I thought for sure I would split in two. Finally the doctor said, "10cm’s, Let’s push!" I pushed with all my might, I thought I would break Pete’s hand while he held it.

Then finally, suddenly, I felt her head pop out of me and then seconds later she slid right out. I was so excited and full of tears I was almost oblivious to what just happened but then I heard,"It’s a girl!” and then I heard a baby cry. My baby! I did it! As hard as it is to believe, it actually happened! I was so excited! The nurse handed her to me and said, "She’s perfect!" My little girl had some powerful lung power that’s for sure but I moved her to my breast and she immediately began suckling. Wow, what a feeling! I made a baby! I’m feeding a baby! I am her mother!!!!

I have no recollection that the placenta was delivered but as my OB said, there was a little tearing but I didn’t care. I would have given up my arm for my baby. The doctor took care of that and pronounced "Mother and baby are doing fine!" My little bundle of joy weighed 7.2 pounds and is 18" long. Pretty normal, I think. It wasn’t long until mother and baby fell asleep together in total bliss, I was told.

The next day I tried to recall what I had gone through during my first birth. I remember saying I didn’t want an epidural. No matter how much it hurt I wanted the total experience of childbirth. Oh, it hurt a lot, more than I expected and for lots longer than I anticipated but now that it’s over I am so glad For the experience.

I was so thankful my hips had been wide enough to allow for a natural birth instead of a Caesarian delivery. I figured childbirth was going to be messy but I had no idea. The next time, and there will be a next time, I will know better what to expect.

Mostly though what I remember the most was when they passed my
daughter to me. At that moment everything changed. All that I had gone through, my male years of discontent, my months of participating in Room 01, the rapid education in the world of becoming female all led up to this moment. Tears poured out of me as I held her tightly against me, cherishing this and every subsequent moment of her new- born life. I will no longer be who I was, this is the new me, my beautiful daughter’s mother.

Pete was at my side for all 11 hours. Did I say he was a keeper? He called Josie and she told Dr. Z. and they both came to visit later that day. Pete was still there. Both of them were smiling when they saw Pete, then me. When they were there my baby was in the examining room but a nurse brought her in not too long after.

When they put her in my arms I announced, "Josie, Dr. Z., I’d like you to meet the most beautiful little girl in the world, Josette." Her name just popped into my head a few minutes ago and I knew it was perfect. Pete thought so too.

Josie’s eyes were huge as she pointed to herself, then Josette,
questioning. I nodded yes and, once again the tears flowed. Even Dr.Z was smiling which he didn’t often do. I wondered if Dr.Z gets enough credit for the amazing work he’s done! It was feeding time for Josette so I pulled back my smock and he averted his eyes. Josie and I smiled at each other. After all the work he has done creating new mothers he was still very modest. They left shortly thereafter so we could have some privacy but I told Josie I would be home in a couple days and for her to come by, Dr. Z too.

Pete was beaming the whole time. He said to me, "Thank you, my love, for making me very happy. Even though she isn’t really mine I will love her like she was. She is beautiful, just like her mother."

As if I hadn’t cried enough, hearing that made the tears flow again. "Oh Pete, you are such a wonderful man and I know you will make a fantastic father as well as the ideal husband. Thank you for being you and loving me, no, us!"

Before they left, Dr. Z handed me an envelope. I didn’t open it right away but when Pete asked me what was in it I got curious so I opened it. I thought it would be a congratulations card or something like that but then I realized it was a check for $50,000! I’d forgotten that was the bonus for delivering my first baby. I was stunned! So was Pete. I hadn’t told him anything about the money until then.

Our wedding was scheduled for 4 months from now. There was still a lot to plan for so when we got back to my place I would have my hands full, for sure. Pete had fixed up the spare bedroom and when we finally got home it looked like a princess’s bedroom. Her name was spelled out in big, pink letters on the wall. Her crib was filled with toys. There were all sorts of flickering fairy lights on the ceiling. It was enchanting! I placed Josette in her bed, turned on the revolving mobile that Pete installed and just sat and watched her.
It was so hard to believe, even though I went through the entire
process, that she came out of me. This living, breathing bundle of joy came from inside me! Naysayers talk about how childbirth isn’t a miracle but, in my case, it certainly seemed miraculous!

Pete came into the room after unloading the car, put his arms around me and said, "She has your eyes, those captivating eyes. Pity all those boys who will lust after her when she grows up." I reminded him that she is only days old, give her some time to be a kid first." He laughed and said, "I am just kidding. Any boys who think they have a chance with her will have to deal with me first!"

Having an infant is certainly lots of work but the reward far exceeds the time spent. Josette and I are on a good routine now, she sleeps most of the night, thankfully, so I can get hours of uninterrupted sleep, for the most part. She really likes it when I bathe her, she giggles the whole time. I try to appreciate every waking hour because I know she will be all grown up eventually and will grow up faster than I can imagine.

Pete has started spending more time at my place. I really enjoy his company and now we can really enjoy our love-making. It is rare when Josette interrupts us. I really missed Pete’s manly scent, his body, his strength, his kisses, his nibbles but most of all, having him inside me. We are using condoms right now and for a while. We discussed this and my OB suggested we wait at least 6 months before trying to get pregnant again. I hate condoms but that made sense to me. As much as I would love to have another baby I need to think of Josette first and let my body recover. Besides, I want her to have my full attention for a while.