PAYBACK TIME

Another day, more new excitement to come.

I was up bright and early to get myself ready for school, I was still learning to prepare myself as a girl and wanted to give myself plenty of time. After a quick shower and shampoo, I put on my bra, knickers and a dressing gown and sat down to try to do my hair like Mam had done yesterday. It was awkward twisting my arm and wrist to try to get the brush in the right position to fill out my hair a bit while blow-drying it. Eventually I got it almost like she had done, gave it a final brush and a spray and I was happy. I decided that the more I do it , the easier and more natural it will become.

We were not supposed to wear make-up but all the girls in my class always used a little mascara and pale lipstick to which the teachers turned a blind eye. Mam had done my eyes the first day, and Sally had made me practice when I was at her house, so I managed to make myself presentable without poking my eye out with the mascara wand. It surprised me how much even just a small amount of mascara changed the look my eyes.

I still only had the one school blouse and decided that it would last another day without washing, but made a note to ask Sally where I could get another, I really needed a fresh one every day, or at least every other day. Quickly putting it and my skirt and shoes on, I went to the kitchen to start the coffee and toast and cereal bowls for myself and Mam.

“ You are up and dressed early, let me look at you to see if you are presentable. Pretty good, you have done well, it takes a bit more effort to be a girl, doesn’t it, but you have taken to it. I must say you make quite a pretty girl, it must be the genes that you have inherited from me ! You are obviously becoming very comfortable with this, let’s see the week out as you are and then decide what you are going to do.”

Having given my Mam a quick goodbye kiss, which just came naturally now, rather than the usual forced dutiful quick peck on the cheek, I set off for Sally’s to walk to school together. I was no longer worried about anyone seeing me, because of our high fences, neighbours could not see me until I was out in the street, and then I was just another young girl walking to school.

“ Sally’s still up in her room getting ready, Kim, why don’t you go up and chat while she is getting dressed., I’m sure that she won’t mind”

“Hi Sally, your Mam sent me up, is it ok to come in? You are a bit late this morning, you better hurry or we will be late.”

“ I’m a bit behind this morning, My period came on last night and it always makes me feel tired and slow, you know what it is like. Oh sorry, you don’t know do you? I hope that I have not embarrassed you, I forgot that you are not a girl, but that is how I think of you now, just another one of my girl friends. You are lucky that you do not have to go through all this every month, boys have it so easy.”

“ Boys have their own problems too, I know it’s not the same but life is a challenge for everybody. Periods are something that most boys are a bit squeamish about, they don’t really want to know the details, and either ignore the conversation or change the subject. A bit of advice for you, if ever you or a few of you are getting a bit of unwanted attention from the boys just start talking about your periods, the boys will soon clear off. You will have to tell me a bit more about it, if I am going to mix with the other girls all the time, I need to understand what you are going through and be able to be part of the conversation without feeling awkward.”

On the way to school Sally told me all about the cramps and the bleeding and the mood swings, and losing sleep and feeling tired, and I was glad it would never happen to me, but at least I could be a bit more sympathetic and understanding to the girls when they were going through it.

Going into school was no longer a problem, most had got used to seeing me now as a girl, and the Head’s talk yesterday meant that the joking and sniping had stopped, I was just seen as another one of the girls, or at least left alone without any obvious gossip about me.

During morning assembly, Mr Kier updated us on the situation with my bullies.

“ Following yesterday session with the boys present in the changing room, I now know the names of those involved, and have given them a punishment that fits their crime, Please welcome them into the hall.”

The doors opened and four of my classmates came in together looking very embarrassed and shy because they were all wearing skirts and girls’ blouses, causing a ripple of giggles and laughter to echo around the hall .

“ Quiet, calm down, I don’t think that they will do that again, and from now on for all of you any punishment will fit the crime, a bit like this four before you now. They are to remain dressed as they are for the rest of the day, they are not to make a mockery of their punishment by mincing around like drag queens or parodying the girls, they are just to behave normally. If they cause any trouble or break any of their rules, they will continue to wear a skirt until they have learned their lesson. Please do not goad them into breaking the rules .”

My morning lessons were French, Geography, and English which were just routine, and the morning flew past. However at lunchtime I was in the canteen having lunch with Sally and two of the other girls from my class, when a couple of my bullies came over looking very sheepish.

“ We’re really sorry about what we did to you Kim, we meant it as a bit of a joke, but we didn’t realise what it would do to you. Do you mind if we sit down with you and talk about it?” The girls all moved over to make room for them. They seemed genuinely sorry and apologetic and promised to stop hanging around with the others involved.

“ That’s ok as long as you mean it. No hard feelings, let’s just be friends, just think twice before you decide to pick on someone else. A little bit of ribbing is not a problem, but sometimes it can really hurt. As it happens it has at least found me some new friends, so it’s not all bad” They sat with us girls chatting away naturally until it was time to go back to classes, in a way I felt sorry for them, they had been led into it by the other two.

After a science lesson, next on my schedule was IT, and I had a decision to make, the boys’ class or the girls’. It was not too difficult a decision and I decided to go in with Miss Standing and the girls again.

“Hello again Kim, I’m glad that you have come back. Get on with making up your dresses girls, i need to have a chat with Kim.”

“ I’m assuming that you are going to be with us for a while and I will need to grade your work for the end of term report, so you need to do a project similar to the other girls so your performance can be graded against theirs. Normally the making of the clothes follows on from the girls using computer design programs to choose what they want to do, it’s a good way to get over any worries they have about technology. You are a few weeks behind the girls, they have already done that side of things, I will show you the programs that they have used and if you manage to find your way around them, as I am sure you will, I will give you a credit for that part of the course.

You are presenting yourself very well and in your uniform you can easily pass as a girl, but most of the dresses the girls are making are quite close-fitting, and, frankly, you haven’t got the figure for that sort of outfit, you need something looser but still stylish. I think that rather than a dress you will be better of with a skirt and top, I suggest a flowing peasant skirt with a Broderie Anglaise gypsy top, what do you think? Have a look at the samples on the program, pick one you like and think about how you would like to change it ”

I quickly searched through some options, selected a combination I liked, entered my size and printed off the design and the associated cut-out patterns to review with Miss Standing.

“ I think that I like this one, but I am new to this, can I discuss it with Sally, she knows a lot better than me what would be suitable, If I am going to spend a lot of time making something, I want to know that I will look stylish.”

“ Spoken just like a true girl, of course you can. If you decide to do it, I have some material in the cupboard that will work with what you want to do, you won’t have to go to the shops to buy your own so you can get started right away. I think you have already earned your credit for the design stage of the project, you had none of the usual problems or worries”

“ Sally can I have some advice about the design for my project, i need to know whether It will look ok or out of place, the last thing I would want is to be seen as some sort of fashion weirdo?”

“ Sure, but I need to go to the loo, we’ll chat on the way there and back. Don’t worry about going there together, girls often go with each other it gives us a chance to talk about things we don’t want the boys to hear.”

We talked as we walked and I suddenly found that that I had gone with her into the girls’ washroom. This was new territory for me, I had previously used the disability WC so as not to upset the girls or anger and provoke the boys. We went into adjacent cubicles and I sat down and had a wee as Mam had told me I had to do now, and was out well before Sally. She came out looking a bit flushed and panicky.

“I have a problem, I don’t have a spare pad and I am at my worst time, I don’t know what to do, if there was another girl in here I would ask her for one of her spares, I know you will feel awkward but can you go back to class and ask one of the girls for me.”

“ No problem, I can do better than that. I have some in my bag, just wait in the cubicle and I will be back in a minute.”

I was soon back and she sorted herself out, I even gave her a spare for later.

“ What are you doing with pads and tampons anyway, you don’t need them?”

“ Mam says to always keep some in my bag in case anyone needs one in a hurry, just like today, she said that sharing is not unusual as all women will have the problem sometime. I will need to get some more on the way home though, you can return the favour by helping me choose, when Mam goes in that part of the supermarket I normally go and look somewhere else, as I told you, boys are squeamish about that sort of thing.”

On the way back to class I showed her the printout of my skirt and top, “What do you think about Miss Standing’s suggestion, do you think it will be ok?”

“ I think it looks delightful, in fact I nearly did something similar myself, go for it. And thank you for the pads, you don’t know how much I appreciate it, particularly as you are new to all this. Now you know some of our secrets, you are even more of a girl to me. If you are going to stay as a girl, you need to feel like you are going through the same thing, why not synchronise with me and start by putting a pad in your knickers now and for the next few days so you feel in your mind as if you are on with me.”

After my first venture into the girls washroom and my first experience of dealing with the problems of periods I decided that there was nothing to be worried about and that in future I would just use the nearest girls’ loos rather than go all the way to the Disability WC, nobody can see you in the cubicles anyway. Maybe because I was in there with Sally I didn’t feel unsure or out of place and besides they were a lot pleasanter and cleaner than the boys, and a lot less clinical than the Disability loos .

Back in class, Miss Standing sorted out the material for me and left me to get on with my outfit. I managed to get everything marked out and cut and did some basic pinning, but ran out of time, the sewing and making up would have to wait until next time. This was definitely going to be more difficult and time consuming than the pillowcases.

On the way home we stopped off at the supermarket to get more pads and tampons, to keep us going for the next few days, she got some herself and told me why she picked those ones, and it seemed right that I just got the same. While we were in there Sally suggested that I need a more girly school bag, the one I was using was heavy grey canvas, very much a boys’ style, which was replaced with a small multi-coloured back-pack a bit like the one she used . I also got a small pocket pouch for the sanitary stuff, small enough to hold discretely or put in the small pocket hidden inside the skirt when I went to the loo, and we picked my very first lipstick, a light coral, not too garish. That was three visits to boy no-go zones today, the loo, the sanitary product shelves and the cosmetics racks, my world was changing slowly

Back at Sally’s doing homework she suggested getting changed and going out to the summerhouse, and pulled out a couple of strappy crop tops and shorts, and we quickly got changed out of our our uniforms.

“ Those shorts are a snug fit on you but are not sitting right, you have the little bulge of your boys’ bits at the front, I have been watching Rue Pauls Drag Race and the guys on there tuck their bits back between their legs when wearing tight stuff, give it a try and see if it is comfortable for you.”

In truth, in keeping with my general size, I was not over endowed in the ‘boys’ bits’ department anyway, so pulled down my shorts and knickers, did as she had said , pulled everything up again, and it didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.

“ That’s looks a lot better,, you are quite flat now you can’t really tell that you are not a girl, and I did notice that you are wearing a pad, you are a true friend to do this with me.”

Working on the homework together and helping each other out seemed to be working and we soon got through it all and sat chatting in the garden in the sun until it was time to go home.

“I’ve just remembered, I need to get another uniform top, I have had this one on for three days now and it needs to go in the wash, any idea where I can get one at this time.”

“ No chance you will have to wait for tomorrow, but I have a couple spare you can borrow. When you get home, put all the stuff you have been wearing in the washing machine on a quick mid-temperature wash and hang it out to dry, it should be ok overnight, and plan ahead in future!

You can’t really walk home in those shorts, but I have some Capri Pants which should be quite comfortable and cool, you can keep them and the top for a while, you can bring them back when you don’t need them. Here’s a bag for your uniform and shoes.”

“ What have you got for dinner today darling, I hope that it is something light, it is too warm for a hot meal?” Mam shouted from the hall as she came in.”

“ You are ok, I am ahead of you, go and get changed and I will put it out.”

Ma came down in a very similar combination to mine, with a loose bare-shoulder top and floral capris

“ Oh I like your outfit, we almost match, it is just right for this heat and you are getting a nice tan on your shoulders with wearing that strappy top, it’s all so cute. In my day we always tried to be discreet and hide our bra straps, but you girls nowadays don’t seem to worry about things like that, and why not”

We took our salad and chicken breast out into the garden, it was a lovely warm evening and we decided to make the most of it, getting rid of the plates into the dishwasher, and getting glasses of drink which we took out with us”

“ Anything exciting happen today darling?”

I told her all about the punishment for the boys which amused her, the two that had apologised to me were being allowed to wear their own clothes again, the other two had to continue in skirts until they changed their attitudes. I also told her about Sally’s period problems, which embarrassed Mam and me a bit at first. Although she was comfortable with me dressing as a girl, period problems was not a matter she thought she would ever have to discuss with her son, but when I talked it through with her and explained how grateful Sally and how I was matching Sally’s cycle she relaxed and we had a long conversation about women’s health problems and I felt able to cope with any conversation that may come up with the girls at school.

“You’ve been sitting in the sun too long, if you are going to wear skimpy tops like that you should really use sun cream, and moisturise afterwards. It’s too late for the barrier cream and the sun is not so strong now, but let me rub in some moisturiser for you.”

As she did my back and shoulders, I heard her giggling quietly.

“ What’s so funny Mam?”

“ You can’t see, but you are getting tan lines where your top has been, your shoulders are a lovely colour, but lower down you are still quite pale and you can see lines where your bra straps have been, and it’s the same on your front, you have got a very girly tan developing. You are looking more like a girl every day my darling.”

We sat chatting in the garden until it got dark, I collected my washing from the line, which brought another smile from her, “ I see that after 15 years you have discovered where the washing machine is and how to turn it on, Sally is a good influence on you, does this mean that you will be looking after your clothes yourself from now on? If you are, most girls wash out their knickers in the sink every night before going to bed, it saves any dirty stains drying in” We went inside for an hour or so, until it was my bedtime, I was really enjoying spending all this time with Mam instead of rushing off to my room at the first opportunity, and she said that she was enjoying the company, things had definitely changed for the better recently.

Getting ready and dressed in the morning was now becoming routine, but I almost forgot that I was meant to be using a pad, but I had to learn that that was part of getting dressed as a girl. The school day was uneventful, except that on one of my visits to the loo, there was another girl in there already and she shouted through the cubicle door “Have you got a spare pad, I must have left mine at home.” I pushed a couple under the door for her and when she came out, it turned out to be Jane who was in the Home Economics class with me, and she thanked me before realising who I was.

“ Hi Kim, I didn’t realise it was you, this is a bit embarrassing, normally we don’t involve the boys in anything to do with our periods, I hope that you are ok with it all. Are you using the girls’ loos now, are you really supposed to be in here?”

“ I can hardly use the boys’ now, can I, I wouldn’t get out alive or at least without being assaulted. I seem to have fitted in with you girls and everyone is treating me and talking to me as just another one of the girls, so why not? Before you ask I obviously don’t really need the pads but I keep some just in case someone else does. And don’t be worried about me knowing you are having your period, I am going to have to get used to it if i am going to mix with you girls all the time.”

“ You’re right, we now don’t even notice you as anything out of the ordinary, you just blend in, and it is so thoughtful of you to think of others and be so understanding, the boys usually do not want to know, and to be honest, we don’t want them to. I have no problems with you coming in here and I’m sure the other girls won’t, if they even notice, they are usually in too much of a rush when they get in here. See you later.” Jane gave me a quick thank-you hug and we left together to go to our classes. Another hurdle of acceptance had been cleared without problems.

I arranged with Miss Standing that I could stay on after school to work on my outfit, I was a few sessions behind the others and needed to catch up. Sally stayed with me and we chatted as we worked together.

“ Jane told me what had happened in the loo, and we are so proud of you and how you dealt with it. I told her about you matching my cycle and wearing pads too and with a bit of a groan about you not knowing even knowing the half of it, she thought that it was a sweet gesture, but be careful about who knows, everyone is not so understanding.”

I made good progress with my skirt and Sally helped me to finish pinning it out to fit my shape and size so that I could start sewing the side seams, ready for the next session. As it was now the weekend I decided to take it home and finish it off on Mam’s machine as I was still well behind the others.

I left Sally at her house as we had time over the weekend to do our homework and went home, and within even thinking about it changed into the Capri pants and top that Sally gave me yesterday and started preparing seafood and spaghetti for dinner.

“ That outfit really suitsyou. How do you feel about dressing as a girl after a week of it, are you going to stick with it or are you going back to being a boy?”

“ I am enjoying it at the moment, nobody seems to have a problem with it, and I am actually finding the clothes really comfortable Sally has become a super friend, I am getting on really well with the girls at school and you and I seem to be getting on much better. I think that I will stick with it for a bit, if that is not a worry for you.”

“ I’m glad you said that, because I’ve got a surprise for you. I was looking the internet yesterday and found some false breasts which I bought for you, they stick on to keep them in place and allow them to move naturally, but can be removed anytime you want. Why not try them over the weekend and see if you want to keep them on for school next week? What you have been using has done the job, but these should feel much more natural and realistic and your blouse will probably fit better too ”

“ I’m not sure how it will go down at school, but let’s give it a go and see how I cope with them.”

After dinner Mam had me lie down on the sofa while she put some of the special glue on my chest and stuck them on for me and told me to keep my hands pressed on them while worked the edges to blend in with my skin. After a few minutes to allow the glue to set she told me to stop holding them in place and to get up.

“Stand up and let’s see how they hang. They look quite normal and they seem to be the right size for you, what do you think?”

“ They do feel funny, I am not used to them and they feel like a heavy weight pulling on my chest. They look all right to me but I haven’t seen many exposed like this.”

“ Now you know why us women and girls wear bras most of the time, the shoulder straps give a lot of support as well as improving your shape. The bras you have are no use anymore, you don’t need the padding. I have got you another couple, I think they will be the right size and they are a bit nicer than the plain ones you have been wearing, try one on and see what you think, and put your top back on, even nowadays, girls do not sit around in their bras except on the beach with a bikini top.”

“That feels much more comfortable and my top fits me a lot better, I think they will work after I get used to them.”

“ Remember do not slouch, shoulders back, chest out, no need to try to hide your breasts, you should soon learn to balance yourself in a decent posture

The gate opened and Sally and her Mam walked into the garden. “ Oh my god Kim, you have a cleavage and your breasts have grown, what have you done?”

No longer being self conscious in front of Mam and Sally, I pulled off my top and unhooked my bra to let my new assets show and their faces changed from astonishment to grins after a few seconds.

“They are so realistic, but you will need to get used to the fact they get in the way sometimes, but it is actually quite convenient that you have them now. Sally and I are going down to the beach tomorrow and thought you might like to come, but didn’t know how you would be able to present yourself. Now though there will be no problem, Sally can loan you one of her swimsuits and nobody will ever know. She has told me that you are now hiding your ‘boys’ bits’ and it should not be a problem. As you know, she is on at the moment so she won’t be swimming and will be wearing a swimsuit as well, rather than a bikini so you will not look out of place. We can’t stay long tonight we really just called out to see if you wanted to come with us. Come over first thing and we will see what fits you and we can head off from there.”

Saturday morning Mam went off to work and I went over to their house where Sally had picked out a swimsuit for me that was snug enough to hold me in place but not too revealing that it would make concealment difficult. Before leaving home I had picked a light crinkle patterned summer skirt and a colour-matched top which seemed appropriate as beach wear, I was now beginning to get the hang of coordination. I stripped off completely, put on the swimsuit which did not look too bad and put on my clothes again, leaving all my underwear in my bag to change back into later.

We had a super day down at the coast, normally I would have been in and out of the water or climbing the rocks, but we just lay sunbathing on the beach for a while heavily covered in sun screen, with Sally commenting on how “fit’ the boys were when they walked past. A few times we went for a walk at the water’s edge, just so we could say that we had been in the sea, and so that Sally could ‘accidentally’ parade past some of the boys. We had a light picnic lunch and later stopped at MacDonalds for tea. Rather than my usual Big Mac Double Cheeseburger, I settled for a chicken burger and salad while the others went for the filet-of-fish.

When we got back Mam was already home so we rounded the day off with drinks in our garden, wine for our Mams and fresh crushed lemonade for Sally and I. It seemed that Mam and I both had found close friends that we could turn to when we needed someone to talk to.Sally and I giggled as I told her a bit more about how embarrassed Jane had been at first when we were in the loo, but how i put her at ease letting her go away happy

Mam had another surprise for me when I went up to bed.

“ Now that you have boobs and are tucking yourself, I thought you might like to change your night clothes. There is a matching cami and shorts sleep set which should fit you and be nice and cool and it is more in keeping with how you look at the moment.” I went to sleep that night with all sorts of weird dreams in which I was a girl doing all sorts of wonderful things.

I woke up Sunday morning and went downstairs to get my breakfast, leaving Mam to her usual Sunday-morning lie in. I just gave my hair a quick brush into shape and went down in my sleep set, had a quick breakfast and went to do a bit of work on my skirt. The basic skirt was now finished, it still needed trimming on the waist and hemline, but I needed a bit of help with that and put it away until my next class and tidied up Mam’s home work room.

Sunday was our day of the week for housekeeping so I made a start on clearing things away, dusting and cleaning down the work surfaces etc, and when Mam finally got up, all that was left downstairs was vacuuming the floor and carpet.

“ You should have woke me darling, there was no need for you to do all this yourself, and you still aren’t properly dressed, although that sleep set is fine for around the house. Go and tidy up your room, have a shower and get changed ,put on your eye makeup and when I have finished up in here we can go down to the lake for a walk and a snack.”

We were soon sitting down in the shade by the lake eating ice cream, and I was glad that I had put on a light short skirt and strappy top, it was definitely cooler and more comfortable that my old boys’ stuff. Mam had suggested that I leave off the bra and just go natural as the tight straps can make you perspire a lot in the heat, but I was still not used to the movement or weight of my boobs so had decided to keep it on.

A couple of boys my age walked past looking at me and giggling and I was convinced they knew about me, but Mam said they were just admiring a pretty girl and making lewd comments about what they would like to do with me, and that I should just get used to it as I would be getting that reaction as long as I stayed as a girl. In many ways that was a compliment but in other ways it was worrying.

It was too warm to have a hot meal when we got home so we settled for a light salad at the cafe by the lake, smoked salmon for Mam and Tuna Mayonnaise for me. I was getting used to having smaller healthier meals and generally felt better for it.

Monday morning, I prepared for school again. I had decided to keep on my boobs but noticed when I was dressed that they seemed an awful lot bigger than the padded bra I had used before and thought about changing my mind, but Mam convinced me that I looked fine and that if anyone noticed the change they would be too polite to make a comment.

Sally soon changed that. “ My god girl, you are really sprouting, those things are amazing, and they seem to have a life of their own, they are so realistic, you will have the boys’ tongues hanging out. I don’t think anyone will now look at you as anything other than a natural girl. By the way, there is no need for the pads anymore, I am quite light and it’s all over for a few weeks now.”

The first lesson of the day after assembly was PE/sports, which I was dreading, It had never been one of my favourite lessons and i was confused as to where to fit in this morning. Luckily I saw Mr
Rodgers in the corridor and asked for a chat with him.

“ I don’t know what to do Sir, I can’t go in with the boys and if’m not sure if I’m allowed in with the girls, and what activities I could actually do.”

“ Let me have a talk with the girls to see how they feel, I shouldn’t really let you change with them but there is no other option really other than excusing you from the session.”

“Can I suggest that you ask Sally to find out for you, she knows a lot more about my situation than you do and I’d rather not tell, I think the girls will be more open with her than with you.”

Five minutes later Sally came out smiling. “ There were no objections at all from the girls, particularly when I told them what you have had done, in fact they all want you in there so they can have a look for themselves. Most of us are going to play Netball and I have scrounged a few spare bits of kit for you, let’s go girl!”

We left Mr Rogers looking perplexed over what Sally had said and I went into the lions den of the girls’ changing room for my first time where I was greeted with a group handclap and hug from most of the girls and a cry of “Get your kit off and let’s all have a look”.Knowing that I really had no choice as they would keep going on at me until I agreed I stripped to my bra and panties and gave them all a twirl so they could have a good look. “ Hello Sister, hey, your boobs are bigger than mine, it’s not fair.”, “ My five-year-old brother has got more in his groin than Kim, are you sure that she was ever a boy.”, “ Look at the tan lines, it is obvious that it’s not just at school that you are wearing our stuff.”. It turned out that they could be as personal and lewd as the boys, but at least it was good natured rather than nasty.

I was soon kitted out in a short pleated flared skirt and sports top and we went out to the court and lined up for team selection. I was used to being the last to be picked by the boys, and although I had watched the girls playing netball before and knew the basic rules but had no idea of tactics and plays, I was picked in the middle of the bunch after the taller girls who would play Goal Shooter (GS), Goal Attack(GA) and Goal Defence(GD). As it is only 7-a-side, there are no safe positions where novices can be slotted in where they can’t do any harm. Along with GS GA and GD and the Goalkeeper(GK) the most involved position is Centre(C) who is essentially the main playmaker, leaving the only choices for me as Wing Attack(WA) or Wing Defence(WD). It was decided that as a forward playing WA, I could cause least damage.

It took a while for me remember the rules about passing quickly and not moving with the ball and I was penalised several times in the first quarter. When we changed ends my team Captain came and told me that I was catching and throwing well, and that if I just played to the rules, I wasn’t doing too badly. The second quarter I was getting into the swing of things - including the swing and bounce of my boobs - and my game was much better including several passes up to the GA or GS which led to goals or good scoring chances. Despite being small and wiry, I was quite fit and when some of the others started to tire towards the end of the match, I was still running around full of energy, the C was passing to me more as they gained confidence in me and I was involved in several scoring plays. Although it was only a friendly match between classmates our team were very glad to have won, and we all had a group hug bouncing up and down.

“ You did really well Kim, considering was your first time, the girls were really impressed with you, i don’t think that you will have any problems with PE in future.” Sally told me as we walked back to the changing rooms.

We walked in to the changing rooms to find the girls in various stages of undress, getting ready to go in to the shower cubicles or towelling off afterwards, Nobody took any notice of me or changed what they would normally do, not even turning their backs to me when naked, I was accepted as just another one of the girls with no need for special treatment. I went in for my shower, the main difference from the boys’ areas was that there were separate cubicles rather than an open area and that there was a smell of scented soap and shampoo rather than sweat.

Going to get dressed after towelling off I found that my relatively plain cotton bra and knickers had been replaced with fine lacy silky ones. “Come on girl, do it properly, if you are joining us learn to like the finer things in life, just put on what you have been given, and don’t ask where they came from.” came a voice from the back of the crowd

I put my new panties on, (they were proper women's’ panties rather than schoolgirl knickers) trying to conceal the tingling I was feeling in my groin, I just managed to keep my legs tightly together until I got my skirt on.The new bra was a much snugger fit pushing my breasts up and giving a much deeper cleavage, I was beginning to understand why there were so many types of bras on show when I was shopping with Mam, it’s horses for courses, and the one I had on now definitely made me feel a bit sexier, a feeling I had never felt as a boy. I had to see how it looked and went over to the main mirror and posed, much to the delight of the girls. We were soon all dried off, hair brushed, mascara and lipstick re-applied, and ready for our next classes.

Later in the canteen, one of the girls nudged me and looked over at the next table. “ You aren’t half getting the glad-eye from those boys over there, think your new bouncing little friends are making an impression” causing my cheeks to blush a bright red, I just wasn’t used to this positive attention, I had always been the scrawny kid sitting on his own in the corner.

Later, sitting in the garden with Sally, I asked what comments she had heard about me today as I was worried that I would be considered a bit of a freak with my false breasts and tucked bits.

“ The only comments I got were very positive ones, when the girls first seen you undressed in the changing room they were amazed, and complimentary, many were envious, but when we came back in after the match you became just another one of the girls. You had done really well during the game and surprised us all, me included, don’t be surprised if you are asked to join one of the teams. At first they thought that you might have an unfair advantage not having real breasts which change the way we throw and catch, but you were bouncing around with the best of them and those comments soon went away. Swapping your underwear was not a nasty vindictive thing like the boys did to you, it was all in a spirit of friendship and ‘welcome to the club’. Just keep doing what you are doing and you won’t go wrong.”

“Without hurting your feelings why are you being so friendly and kind to me, are you not worried that people will think you are weird being best friends with a boy who dresses and acts as a girl.”

“ Look, when I see you all I see is girl, and that is not just the clothes, it is your attitudes and the way you act. It would have been easy for you to hide in a corner humiliated on those first days, but you held your head up high , were pleasant and polite to everybody, and joined in without any feeling of being an outsider in the design class. The girls like you a lot and you are accepted as a friend by us all. The boys have been a little bit slower to warm to the new your are frightened that being friends with you will ruin their street cred, but they are getting there and they have short memories, you will soon be another target for their attentions. You might want to stay as a girl, you might want to go back to being a boy, but just live for today and enjoy what you are doing.”

“ That’s very deep philosophy for a 15 year old, you ought to take up therapy or counselling when you leave school. Anyway, this is all too heavy, let’s get some lemonade and biscuits and prepare for “As You Like It ‘ tomorrow.

At home over dinner, I told Mam about my day particularly all that occurred around the netball game, and she insisted on seeing my new underwear.

“ Very nice, not cheap either, somebody has good taste. I can see that we may need to do a bit more shopping for you.

to be continued

A DIFFERENT SUMMER

Monday morning the Head announced that the two lads who had apologised to me had completed their punishment and would now be back in their normal clothes, and no further action would be taken against them. The parents of the other two had withdrawn them from our school as they did not agree with the punishment, and they would only come back to take their exams before transferring to another school next term. Nobody would miss them, they were quite unpopular even before stealing my clothes.

Tuesday afternoon Sally and I walked together into our English Literature class and when we entered the room we saw a strange new face at the teacher’s desk.

“ Good morning everyone, I am Mr Shepherd , I will be covering Miss Fraser’s classes while she is away on a refresher course.” which raised a few smiles and giggles as everyone knew that she had been been severely reprimanded, suspended, and sent on anti-discrimination and human relationship courses for the way she had treated me.

“ I believe she had asked you all to review the text of ‘As You Like It’ for discussion the morning and that some of you,…er…. Kim Sally and Paul, have been selected to read some extracts which will form the basis for our discussions. To check whether you have actually read the text all the way through, not just the first few pages, I have selected extracts towards the end of the play. I know that the three of you are not actors but I would like the parts to be read with a bit of expression and character not just mumbled bland reading. I have printed off the sections that you are to read, you have five minutes to quickly look through the script and get into character, so to speak, any other characters’ parts will be read by me. The rest of you are to keep your books closed so will have to listen carefully and be attentive as I will be asking you questions and looking for comments afterwards."

“We’ll take it from Act IV Scene I in the forest, starting with Orlando’s speech “My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.” down to Celia’s “ And I’ll sleep.” We will then read from Act V Scene II from Orlando’s “ You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow” down to Rosalind’s “for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall, and to Rosalind, if you will.” and finish with Act V, Scene IV from Rosalind’s “Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged”, down to Rosalind’s “You’ll marry her if she refuse me: and from hence I go”

Sally, Paul, and I gave it a good go trying our best to act out the words rather than just read them, and the class actually behaved and listened in silence. Sally was a lot luckier than Paul and I, most of the lines were for Rosalind and Orlando.

“Many thanks to our three actors, you did well, you can now go and sit down and relax and listen while I discuss this with the others. Right class, who wants to start us off and tell me what that was all about?”

For the first time my class seemed to show an interest in Shakespeare’s plays, previously it had seemed dry and boring, but having the three of us act out the scenes and Mr Shepherd’s easy-going and friendly manner led to a lively discussion and the lesson drew to a close before we knew it.

On the way-out Mr Shepherd kept the three of us back for a few minutes, as he wanted to talk to us.

“ You read those parts really well, the way you put the spirit into the characters really helped to keep the interest of the others. If I was a permanent teacher here rather than a locum I would be setting up a drama club and you three would be the first I would ask to join. As it is I am only here for a short time, but I run a youth drama group in town and if any of you are interested I would be glad to see you there. Have a think about it and let me know.” Sally and I said we would think about it, but Paul opted out, saying that he didn’t think it was for him.

We rushed of to Miss Standing’s design class, settled in and when she was free I called her over and showed her how far I had got with the skirt but needed her advice on gathering it into the waistband and fitting the concealed waist ties. Talking me through it and starting me off, she left me to finish it off, which did not take too long once I knew what to do. All finished I held it up against me to see how it hung and check the length, and she came back over to check it out.

“ That looks really good and you have finished it well. Let’s see what it looks like on, take off your uniform skirt and change into it.”

“Where can I get changed?”

“ Don’t be shy, just do it there, it’s only us girls in here, and anyway I’ve heard that you were in with the girls in the sports changing room and most of them will have seen a lot more of you than what you will show here.”

She was right, what did it matter, what would they see, so I just unzipped my skirt dropped it to the floor and pulled up my new one.

“ That fits really well, although it is an inch or two too long, you need to redo the hem and it will be perfect. You have really picked up the sewing techniques quickly, it is almost to professional standard. That type of skirt is really at its best for lively dancing, give us a few quick twirls and we’ll see how it flares out and swings about.” I loved the soft flowing texture and the way it lifted and swirled as I danced and the effect of the colourful material flashing like a rainbow.

As I danced around there was a rhythmic clapping from the other girls who had all stopped their work to watch. I dropped a quick curtsey, slightly reluctantly changed back into my uniform skirt and sat down to take up the hem and get started on the blouse.

“ That skirt looked lovely,” Sally said as we walked home, “I might make one myself, it will be so cool for the summer. What did you think of Mr Shepherd then, and about his idea of the drama group?”

“I thought he held the class’s attention quite well got them all throwing in their comments on the play, and on our acting, and made it all interesting, so much better than Miss Fraser, and he’s quite young and cute too.”

“ Cute…Cute, you are turning into quite a brazen little hussy Kim, no fluttering your eyelashes at him.”

I blushed heavily, had I really called him cute?

“ I think I might give the drama group a try, after our exams, as long as they are not doing anything too heavy, I think I am more of a light drama or musical or comedy type, are you in with me Sally?”

“ Why not, it might be fun, but I hope it is because you fancy doing it, not because you fancy cute Mr Shepherd.” I gave her a playful little punch on her arm and a broad smile in reply, but wondered whether there might be something in what she had said

The next few weeks were more of the same, studying for our exams, and completing our sewing projects. As a bit of light relief the various girls’ design classes put on a fashion show for the other girls in the school and we all strutted our stuff on the stage, hamming it up a bit like catwalk supermodels. Most of the outfits were passable, some were as good as anything found in the shops, and mine went down particularly well. I was asked if I could make something similar for about a dozen girls. I referred them to Mam’s shop which she had said she wanted me to work in during the school holidays anyway. She had never asked me before but now I was living full-time as a girl, it was much more appropriate and in keeping..

Because Sally and I had been working on our homework together, helping each other on their weaker subjects, the exams all seemed a lot easier and we both ended up with our best grades ever. Every subject moved up a grade or two, or in my case 3 levels in history, which had never previously interested me. Sally had made a lot of it come alive for me, talking about the people involved and their relationships with each other rather than just the battles they had fought or countries they had discovered and colonised. Her science and geography grades improved too thanks to my coaching and explanations. What we had been learning that year had not been over-challenging, and when I explained things slowly and in a way she could follow, a lot of it clicked into place and she was graded top girl in both subjects. We had worked well together and promised to continue to help each other again next year, when we would be taking national externally-assessed exams.

Normally I would be looking forward to the summer break enjoying myself with computer games or TV, almost always on my own as nobody seemed interested in doing things with me, but everything had changed and I was looking forward to a much busier time this year .

After our school fashion show, Mam put my outfit on display in the shop and she already had a few serious enquiries and orders that she wanted me to make. My designs had brought a lot of younger girls into the shop which they had never thought of visiting before, and most brought their mothers with them, mainly to pay the bills rather than for any fashion guidance. From this Mam found a lot of new customers, and picked up a couple more weddings for later in the year and even into next spring. If people wanted bespoke dresses and outfits rather than off the shelf stuff from national brands they were prepared to pay large amounts for the privilege, and Mam was beginning to be the ‘go-to’ supplier in town.

When school finished I started working full time in the shop, a lot of my time was making up outfits similar to my peasant skirt and gypsy top, but obviously all were slightly different in style or material, after all no girl wants look like a clone, do they?

One of my first customers was Sally who didn’t know that I was making a set up for her, I had enough of her clothes to know her sizes and didn’t need to involve her until I was finished. She was delighted because she had planned to make something similar herself but hadn’t started yet, and was even more pleased when she was told that it was a free gift for all the help and advice she had given me. When she tried it all on she was so pleased that she left the shop wearing it home, the skirt swinging in the light breeze and the sway of her hips.

A lot of the girls from school came in, some to order my outfit, some just to to browse and some to ask me to run up a particular design for them, usually similar to something they had seen a TV presenter or pop star wearing, which probably cost at least 50 times what I was charging. I was becoming more and more adept with the sewing machine, learning from my Mam and improving to the level that she was letting me work on some of the outfits for the Bridal party. Obviously people were paying a lot of money for the wedding and Mam couldn’t afford to spoil the day by any amateurish work and everything I did was closely examined to ensure that it was up to her standards.

Mam and I took turns minding the shop while the other worked in her studio, and depending on which type of customers came in we swapped about if they preferred to be served by a younger or more mature person. We were both very busy, me with orders for my outfits and helping Mam with all the wedding dresses that had been ordered.

I still found time to meet up regularly with Sally after work and we decided to go down to see the drama group that Mr Shepherd was involved with. There was nobody from our school there so there was little chance of my background coming up. I was just seen as another teen actress wannabe by most of the members, particularly the girls who had visions of their lead roles being taken from them. They had just started rehearsals for the musical ‘Grease’ which was going to be their big pre-Christmas show.

We were too late for any of the major parts, which actually suited us, as we were unsure as to whether we were going to stay involved. We were both given parts in the chorus of the Pink Ladies, with Sally understudying Betty Rizzo the leader of the Pink Ladies and me understudying the lead role of Sandy. Our basic roles were relatively small but we would also needed to learn the parts of the main characters in case they were ever unable to perform for some reason. We found out that we were chosen as the understudies, not because of talent or ability or favouritism, but because we were the nearest in size to the girls in the main roles and if we had to take over the costumes would not need much alteration work.

Any illusions or thoughts we may have had about Mr Shepherd were dashed when we found out that ‘Sandy’ was his long- term girlfriend Josie.

It was early stages so rather than acting it out on stage it was all just script reading so that we could all get a feel for our parts and their character. We decided that this show sounded like fun and that we would see it through, but drop out after Christmas when we would be studying hard for our exams.

After the reading rehearsal Sally and I were chatting in the warm evening sun surrounded by the scent of honeysuckle in our garden and she said that as I had been so busy, she had been getting together with Jane, one of the girls from school, and they had sketched out a few designs that they thought would go down well with other mid-teen girls, and asked if we would be interested in trying them out in the shop. I promised to put it to Mam, but the decision had to be hers, we couldn’t afford any disruption while we were so busy.

“ That sounds a good idea Kim, but we don’t really have the time, I am up to my eyeballs with the wedding outfits and need your help with those. However if the girls want to come in and work their ideas up themselves I am quite happy to let them use our spare machine and put their stuff on sale in the shop, particularly if they can share the front-of-house duties with us. Depending on how hard they work we can afford to pay them a small amount, but they have to treat it as work experience and not expect too much.”

“ I’ll tell them it’s ok then, to be honest I don’t think they were looking to get paid, they just wanted the opportunity to see how their designs turned out, and I think that they will jump at the chance.”

Sally and Jane were over the moon at the opportunity and our little enterprise suddenly went from a one-person operation to a 4-staff company. Mam looked over their designs and generally liked what she saw, but she also found some difficult or time-consuming aspects to actually produce and suggested slight changes to their designs to make them quicker and easier to make up and in some cases cheaper materials or trimmings that would work just as well but at half the price. Price would be a big factor in whether they sold or not, a lot of teenage girls have a ‘wear once or twice and throw-away’ mentality fuelled by cheap Chinese and Indian imports at Primark and the supermarkets, although that was not the target market we couldn’t afford to be too pricey either.

The girls came in for a few lessons and trials in using our commercial machines instead of the more domestic ones they had used at school. They were faster and more flexible with more stitching options, but Sally and Jane soon learned and adjusted and could be left unsupervised while we got on with our own work.

While the girls were preparing samples for Mam to check out before they went into the shop, I started to think about new designs. My line was fine for the summer holidays, sales were steady but easing off, most people already had their summer outfits. I definitely needed to change styles for autumn and winter sales, and even as far ahead as party dresses for Christmas and New Year, and once school started again my time in the shop would be limited.

Except when customers needed more attention, Mam worked mainly in the studio on the wedding outfits, and us three girls looked after the shop in turns, but there was usually at least two of us in the studio workshop. While the shop was organised and tidy, sometimes with three of having work laid out at times in the studio it often looked like a bomb had hit the place, and there was a constant babble of chatter while we were working.

My designs were still selling well and the dresses and outfits from Jane and Sally were bringing more new customers, and whilst most of our clothes were on the cheaper rails , Mam was also pulling in a lot of orders for more wedding outfits, not just for the bride and her entourage, but for the mothers of the bride and groom too. Our time was mostly taken up by working in the shop and workshop, but we all found time to have some holiday breaks as well, one at a time. When Mam and I had our break, Sally’s mum, Carol, looked after things for us, production was not her thing, but she was able to deal with sales and generally manage everything.

When we were away for a long weekend, Mam sat me done for what she said was a serious chat.

“ Kim, you have been living full-time as a girl for a couple of months now, I can’t remember the last time I looked at you and saw a boy. It’s not just the clothes and hair and things, but working with me and the girls you have picked up a lot of our mannerisms, the way we talk and express ourselves, even the way we walk and stand. The longer you continue like this, the harder it will be to turn back the clock. Unless you intend to take it a stage further I really think you ought to consider going back to school as a boy.”

“ I don’t know Mam, I am still only young and haven’t decided yet what I want to do with my life. I have another three years at school, before going to Uni or starting work, and I think that for the moment I would like to stay as a girl, probably seeing out my time at school if they will allow it and if it is ok with you. People at school have got used to me presenting as a girl and nobody makes any comments or jokes now, that is if they even notice.

You know that I have never been very popular and have had no real friends, but I am now actually enjoying life, people like me, I have found things I like doing that I never would have thought of, dressmaking and needlecraft, working in the shop with you, being successful at sports with the girls playing netball, more exotic cooking, sitting chatting with you being more of a family, having friends like Sally that I can trust and rely on and generally feeling that I belong.

The clothes all started it off, but despite what people say they are incidentals, part of the uniform for life. Yes, in many ways girls’ clothes are more fun, exciting and comfortable but in the end I get up in the morning and get dressed without thinking ‘I’m wearing ‘girls’ clothes’, I am just putting on ‘my clothes’ for school or work. For the moment I just want to continue as I am, I may come to realise that I am following an impossible dream, or that I have made a big mistake, but I am not there just now, I am content and happy living as a girl.”

“ Wow, that is a bit of a speech. Unfortunately if that is what you want we can’t just drift along. You should have started growing and muscling up by now, with your voice changing , growing facial hair and all the rest, but you haven’t and I think we need to keep it like that. I have been reading up on this, and it seems that there are what are called androgen-blockers, which stop male hormones changing your body, normally without any long-term effects if ever you want to stop using them. we need to see our doctor to see what she can offer. When we get back home we will set up an appointment for you.”

“ Ok Kim you make a very convincing-looking girl but do you really want to be a girl?”

“ I’m not sure Dr Scott, but at the moment I don’t want to be a man either, I want to keep living as a girl, but without doing anything that can’t be undone.”

“ Subject to anything that shows up on a blood test and analysis, and an examination, I can prescribe something like your mother has told you about, which will effectively put your development on hold, but you can’t take them forever, sooner or later you will have to decide whether to stop. or to start a course of female hormones and possibly surgery to completely change your gender. With your mother’s permission I can prescribe you the anti-androgens, but if you want the female hormone treatment or surgery I will have to refer you to a specialist. I’m afraid that unless you see specialists that the drugs are not free on the NHS and you will have to pay for them.”

“ If Mam agrees and is happy to pay for the drugs I would like to go with that please.”

“ Before that, let me examine you and check out all your basic functions, please strip down to your underwear.”

After a lot of prodding poking and soundings she said that I was generally in good condition.

“However I can obviously see that you are wearing false breasts, I hope that you do take them off occasionally , clean the skin and let it breath at least overnight. You also tuck yourself to hide your genitals, again you should let them free regularly. Whilst you do make a good job of concealing yourself, I’m sure that it is not convenient having to fiddle about to re-tuck yourself every time that you go to the loo. Do you ever get into situations where people can see you in just your underwear or even naked?”

“The only time really is in the changing room and shower with the girls for PE and sports and a couple of times in a swimsuit on the beach. Neither has been a problem, the girls at school don’t really notice I am there, I’m just another girl getting changed, and at the beach nobody can really tell and they can’t really come over for a close look can they?

“ My god, if you are regularly in the changing rooms with the girls there could be a lot of trouble for your school, let’s get your Mam in here.”

“ Kim has told me that he is often semi-naked in a room full of girls, that could lead to all sorts of accusations, even though he is always concealed. I apologise, but for this discussion I must refer to Kim as a male. What I can do, if you agree, is to tuck him properly, fix it all up with surgical glue, and to all intents and purposes he will present himself as having a female groin, even when naked. It is a simple quick procedure it is fully reversible and perfectly safe if done properly, do you want me to do it now? If we do this I need you to watch, as at least once a month it all needs to be undone and reinstated, can you cope with that.”

“ If Kim is happy, if it is all reversible, if it is not uncomfortable or impractical and if it is what Kim wants, I am quite prepared to go along with it. Did you say you have time to do this now?”

I couldn’t remember any time that anyone had played around with my genitals so much but Dr Scott was very professional and calming, explaining all the steps she was taking as she went along. After a long session of prodding and poking, pushing my boy’s bits effectively back inside me and folding and glueing everything together to hold it all in place, it was soon completed. Mam and I were amazed at how realistic and believable it all was.

We left the surgery with me now virtually unmistakably female, and with prescription drugs and supplies to keep me that way for months. Although I had long been sitting when going for a wee, I no longer had a choice and the tinkling of the flow now sounded just like the girls I’d heard in the next cubicles, and personal hygiene and using a tissue afterwards became much more important.

The next few weeks before going back to school were hectic completing the order for the wedding and doing the planning and ordering of material for the next one. It was all hands on the deck, with Mam and I doing most of the decorative dressmaking and the others doing the cutting out and simple hemming and suchlike, but we managed it in time and the bridal party were delighted. Sally and Jane were even roped in as models for photos for our catalogue and web page, unfortunately there was nothing my size in the order so I missed out on the chance to be displayed as a bridesmaid, maybe next time.

Mam informed the school that I would be returning for the foreseeable future as a girl, and would expect to be treated as one in all respects including course allocation and selection, sports activities and using the girls’ changing and toilet facilities and the getting the respect and consideration given to other girls. They readily agreed as they still had Carol’s threat of the TV station news report hanging over them.

As us three girls were going back to school and would only be available for the shop on Saturdays, Carol started working full time with Mam, mainly looking after the shop and keeping the accounts while Mam did the clever work in the studio and workshop.

Because of all the rush and bustle at work over the last few weeks, Sally, Jane, and I hadn’t really had much time to relax and unwind as we normally would during the summer break and get ourselves into the right frame of mind for the return to school. On our last Sunday the three of us went down to the beach, only this time we wore bikinis instead of swimsuits like the last time Sally and I were here.

It was glorious day, clear azure skies, the bright sun heating the sand warming our feet, the fresh salty seaside smell of ozone and brine, and Instead of being shop employees we went back to being teenage girls again, sunbathing, swimming, jumping around in the water, even having a go on body boards in the surf and generally having fun.

Jane insisted that we join in with some boys playing volleyball for a while giving her and Sally a chance to flirt a bit, although for obvious reasons I played it a lot more low-key. Surprisingly our netball training seemed to have given us an eye for the movement of the ball and anticipation, and we really surprised the boys with how good we were. We hung out with them for a while, they bought us ice creams and lemonade and generally flirted with us. Another year older and Jane and Sally would probably have fixed up dates, but for the moment they were happy just getting a bit of attention.

The girls couldn’t believe how natural I looked in the bikini and that there was no sign of my being a boy. After I explained to them them how and why, and what Dr Scott had done for me, they insisted on having a look for themselves later.

Back in Sally’s bedroom they made me lie down on the bed and splay my legs as if I was having an obs/gyn examination, which they said was an occasional need for girls to go through if they were having any health problems in that respect. I gave them what they wanted, dropped my skirt and knickers. they couldn’t believe what they saw, or rather didn’t see.

“ Wow that’s fantastic, I wouldn’t have believed it, are you sure that your boy-bits all still there somewhere? Wait till the girls in the shower see you, their jaws will drop.” Jane screamed, and Sally grinned and said “ if they had done any more to you you would really need the pads when we are on. You must keep going with that by the way to just keep you switched on mentally, but with realistic boobs and a believable vagina that should not be too difficult.” Girls are amazing, the way they share intimate secrets and compare each others bodies and discuss medical problems, any similar touching, intimate discussions, and close detailed inspection would not go down well amongst a group of boys.

We all had a big group hug to celebrate a happy and productive summer together, promised to all get back to working together in the shop at half-term and for holidays and vowed to remain close friends forever.

In the time since this all started, my hair had grown enough to be styled in a mid-length Pixie cut and I made my first visit to a beauty salon to get my hair trimmed, styled, and streaked. Mam had also arranged for me to get a full set of beauty treatments, my eyebrows shaped, my nails shaped and glossed ( we weren’t allowed to have coloured nail polish in school ), and the odds bits of fluff hair on my arms and legs waxed away, which was the only bit of it that I did not particularly enjoy. By the time I was finished there was no trace of boy left and when I returned to school I would just blend in with the other girls.

To be continued

NEW EXPERIENCES

Back at school for the autumn term, life soon settled into a routine. Classes, homework, netball, the only major out-of -school activity was at rehearsals for Grease.

I decided that although my voice was still ok for singing in the Pink Ladies chorus, that it would not be good enough to take on the role of Sandy, if I was ever called on to understudy her. We swapped around a bit and I became understudy to Frenchie, one of the Pink Ladies who had a smaller part, which I was a lot more comfortable with. Rehearsals were usually held on a Friday night, which tied in with our hectic school schedule.

After rehearsals the actors split into two main groups, the older ones went to a bar for drinks, the younger ones of us headed for the local coffee shop where we just hung out for a while, talking about the show and life in general.

One night Helen one of the girls who went to a school on the other side of town, confided in us that her boyfriend Chris was pressuring her into having sex, which she didn’t really want to do yet. There were all the normal chat lines, ‘Everyone else is doing it.’, ‘If you really loved me you would want to do this’, ‘One time won’t do any harm’, ‘You can’t get pregnant the first time’, ‘I know that most of your friends have already done it, you are getting a reputation for being cold.’. All the girls, me included, decided we would need to teach this lad a lesson or two, and needed a plan to show him he was wrong.

“Helen, do you want to keep him as your boyfriend or do you just want to stop him putting pressure on you? We can easily show you how fickle he is and, believe us all lads at that age are fickle, and you can then dump him, or we can really make him feel small so that he will not pester another girl.” Sally queried.

“ I think that I am not going to have a long term relationship with him and that I want to break it off, but it is nice to have a boyfriend to be seen with, like most of the other girls.”

“Let us sort something out to show him for what he is, and meantime let’s find another boy for you, there are a few in our class that seem half decent and are pretty fit.”

A week later, we were again in the coffee shop where we were joined by Karen, the Goal Shooter from our hockey team. She was dressed up to kill with a skirt that wasn’t much more than a belt, a scooped top that dipped almost to her navel and showed off her substantial cleavage, and 5” stilettos, made up to the nines , totally unrecognisable from the quite shy demure girl she really was.

Helen had arranged for her boyfriend Chris to meet her there so they could then go off together for a walk and a kissing and petting session. When he came in we were all discussing the play in detail, chatting about our roles, and Chris sat down in the only spare seat, next to Karen, who we had introduced to him as Sharon. They both seemed a bit bored with our talk about the play, so they moved to the next table and started talking to each other. We were still doing our review 20 minutes later when Chris came over to Helen and told her that he had something else to do if she was involved with us and that he would see her the next day, and then left in a hurry. Five minutes later, Karen left too, giving us a wink and whispering “bandstand”, leaving behind the back pack she had brought.

A few minutes later we all trooped off to the park and quietly approached the back of the bandstand where we could hear their voices, and crouched down.

“Hey Sharon, I’m glad I met you tonight, I’m getting bored with that silly girl Helen, I’m on the lookout for someone different and more exciting.”

“Oh, I think I can promise you something different, all right.”

“Lets find somewhere we can lie down and get a bit more cosy where we can get to know each other better, if you know what I mean.”

“ I’ve only just met you and it’s not even a first date, what kind of girl do you think I am?”

“ The way you look and are dressed, I think that’s fairly obvious.”

“ So you think that anyone who dresses like this and wears fancy makeup is only fit for one thing do you?”

“ Yea, you dress and look like a tart and are obviously only looking to act like one , so come on and let’s get together.” and he made a grab for her.

At that point we all jumped up, making our presence known, Helen went up to Chris, gave him a good slap and screamed at him. “That’s obviously the way you treat all girls, you don’t really care for me and have no respect for girls in general, you need to learn a lesson, and don’t even think about trying to come and see me again.”

Four of us grabbed him, threw him to the ground holding on to an arm and a leg each, and between us somehow, with a lot of threats and a few slaps managed to get him stripped and into the clothes that Karen had brought in her back pack, padded bra, knickers, low-cut crop-top, miniskirt, and wedge sandals, luckily being a tall sporty girl Karen’s clothes were a reasonable fit on him. He was struggling a lot so putting makeup on him properly was difficult, but we managed to get glitter eye-shadow, lipstick, and blusher on him, before letting him free.”

“ Get yourself of home, and just hope that you don’t meet any drunken lads who think the same as you on your way, and decide that you are only after one thing. You must have noticed that we took lots of photos of you in your new underwear, and just now with you fully dressed, if you bother Helen again or make any threats to her, they will be all over social media before you can blink. Don’t worry about your clothes and things, you will get them back tomorrow. we hope that you have learned a lesson tonight, sometimes girls just want to have fun, and that does not necessarily mean sex, now clear off before we find some boys for you.”

In some ways, I felt a little bit guilty as I knew what it was like to be humiliated, but Chris deserved to learn a lesson whereas I had done nothing wrong. We all went back to the coffee bar to talk about what we had done and what we thought would happen next. we were not proud of what we had done, but it was needed to change his ways.

When we all met up again the following week, Helen told us that he had apologised to her, for trying to cheat on her and the things he said about her to Karen/Sharon. On his way home he had been mocked and threatened by a crowd of lads and had realised how vulnerable and under pressure a lot of girls felt. Although he promised to treat her better in the future, Helen felt that she couldn’t trust him anymore and they broke up on friendly terms.

“Did he give you back Karen’s stuff?”

She grinned, “ He did ask if she needed it back, he would like to keep it all to remind him of the error of his ways, at least that was his excuse but i think that he might have got to like them.”

At school, now I had adjusted to all the fiddly rules, I was becoming quite good at netball, at last I had a chance to get involved in sports without being mocked and I enjoyed the team spirit, which I had never felt with the boys. As far as the girls were concerned I was treated exactly as one of them, no better or worse, congratulated and hugged when I did something really well and shouted at when I messed it up. There was no embarrassment or critical comments in the changing rooms, after all, to all intents and purposes, I looked exactly like them.

I was asked to join the school team that played in a local league against other schools in the area, and our coach was quite happy to go along with it, as I was one of the better players, so long as my natural gender was kept a close secret. We were having quite a successful season and were top of our league, with a decent contribution from me. We were invited to join a knock-out tournament in Birmingham, which was a feather in our caps, but would mean a long-weekend overnight stay. We were to be hosted in the homes of other competitors local to the venue.
Whilst I was comfortable living as a girl in school and in my home town where people either had forgot that I was a boy, or didn’t care as they now saw and treated me as a girl, or just didn’t realise, I was a bit wary of putting myself in a close situation with total strangers where I would be living in their house for two nights and days.

The matches were scheduled for the Saturday and Sunday and when we arrived Friday early afternoon I was sent to the same house as Karen, our Goal Shooter, and we boarded with Liz, who was on one of the other local teams, and her parents.

‘Hi girls, welcome to Birmingham, your room is upstairs, unfortunately you’ll have to share a double bed, I hope that’s ok. If you go and get changed into something casual I will take you into town and show you around.” I gave a querying look at Karen who smiled and nodded and we went up to get cleaned up and changed.”

“ Are you sure you are ok with this Karen, sharing a bed?”

“ Don’t be daft Kim, what harm could you do, even if you wanted to, there is not a lot you could do, all fixed up the way you are. You are a girl now, remember that and just get on with life as normal, and stop worrying, you are more girly and feminine than a lot of the others we will be playing against.”

We dressed casually in skinny jeans and sloppy long tunic tops and sneakers, picked up our bags and went downstairs to meet Liz’s parents, before going into town. After our small home town, Birmingham was a bit overpowering, all the big shops in city-centre malls, the grand civic buildings and the amazing bustle of the café’s and restaurants in the nightlife areas of Brindley Place, Broad Street and Gas Street Basin by the canals. We didn’t really have time to take it all in or visit any of the cultural buildings and areas, so we promised Liz that we would come back and visit her again to spend a bit more time.

In the evening there was a welcome party for all the visiting teams and although we would all be rivals on the court it was meant as a friendly social get-to-know you event. We all dressed up a bit and put-on a lot more makeup than we were allowed at school. I wore my a halter neck floral dress with a flared mid-thigh skirt rather than trousers and a top as I always tried to emphasise my femininity, although Karen was happy in her mini kilt and strappy top. After the introductions and buffet there was a disco DJ and we all had a dance. It was my first time at a dance as a girl and i was unsure how to move, but I generally copied the others and soon found a natural rhythm and movement, although the hip swinging was not as free as the other girls. Although we generally kept within our own team group we enjoyed mixing in with the others, particularly Liz’s teammates in a friendly atmosphere, rather than the competitive attitudes we would have during the matches.

Back at Liz’s , Karen and I cleaned our faces, put on our nighties and climbed into bed. I tried to keep apart from Karen as I didn’t want her to think any boy feelings were going to show, but I need not have worried, she gave me a hug and a goodnight kiss and we slept soundly in each others arms.

The Saturday morning was an intensive session of knock-out matches, 16 teams playing on two courts. We won our first match reasonably comfortably 26-12 as our opposition was a bit younger and less experienced. We were one of the first to play so had plenty time to relax and recover, watching the other matches, rating the potential opposition for the next round.

The afternoon match was a bit more of a struggle, we were up against the winners of last year’s tournament, and with the help of a late goal and a free shot we managed to struggle through 20-18. that was the first day over and we had a chance to rest before Sunday’s semi and final. Liz’s team had also managed to get through but we would not face them until the final, that is if we both won our semi matches.

Although we were too young to enjoy the nightlife and bars, Liz and some of her friends took our team down to the canal-side areas and we really enjoyed the buzz of the place, it was so much livelier than back home. In a way it was a good thing that we were too young to drink alcohol, although we did sit in some of the bar terraces with colas and soft drinks, as it kept us fresh and clear-headed for Sunday morning’s semi-final.

The Sunday sessions were on one court only so there was quite a lot of buzz with the cheering , clapping, and support from the teams that had been knocked out, which lifted the atmosphere and helped the teams to raise their game. The semi-final was fast and furious end-to-end stuff, but towards the end of the match the other team started to tire while we were still full of energy, and in the final quarter we raced away from 16-17 down to finish at 27-18 to get through to the final.

After a break for lunch to recover we lined up for the final against Liz’s team. most of the match we were trailing, playing catch up and struggling a bit, the other team were a little bit bigger and faster than us.

As the game was drawing to a close we were 2 goals down at 23-25, an attack was blocked by our Goalkeeper and the ball was quickly passed through the Wing Defence and Centre to me, and on to Karen, who put the ball in the net 24-25. Our Centre intercepted a pass near the centre circle again passed it out to me and I quickly turned and threw it to our Goal Attack and we were level 25-25 with one minute to go.

The ball went out out for a throw in which was quickly taken by our Wing Attack to our Centre and on to Karen who dropped it and let the opposition run at our defence. The ball went down the court to our goalkeeper but quickly came back to me, I passed to Karen who was about to shoot when she was fouled by the opposition goalkeeper and awarded a free shot. It was a tense moment as it was likely to be the last throw of the game, but she kept her nerve, the ball went cleanly into the net, the referee immediately blew for full-time, and after a couple of seconds for it to sink in we were all jumping up and down hugging, crying and screaming.

In a wonderful sporting gesture Liz and one of her teammates came over and congratulated us even though they must have been disappointed to lose, Although it was only a little regional tournament it felt to us as if we had won the National Club Final.

Our celebrations continued in the changing room and showers, lots of semi-naked and even totally-naked bodied running around congratulating each other, in a high state of excitement, we all felt that we were part of a team that had worked really hard together and for the first time I felt I truly belonged with them all.

When we had calmed down and got dressed, there was a small ceremony where we were all presented with medals, and a trophy shield to take back to display at school. We went back to Liz’s to pick up our things, thanked her and her parents for looking after us during our stay, half-apologised for beating her team in the final, and went out to the team bus to make our way home. At school on the following Monday the whole squad were presented on the stage and congratulated by the Headmaster, we were all pleased that our efforts were appreciated.

It was soon half-term and Sally, Jane and I went back to working in the shop with Mam. Sally and Jane were mainly helping Mam with wedding outfits, although the busy summer season was over there was always a call for weddings at all times of the year, and they were kept busy, no holiday for them. I meanwhile concentrated on new designs for the winter and for the party seasons of Christmas and New Year. My summer outfits had been relatively simple and easy to make but the new designs needed to be a lot more glamorous and sophisticated., and more expensive.

I was working on three basic designs which could then be made in different materials and colours, with various trims and decorations to produce about 12 individual styles, A simple classic mid-thigh sleeveless shift dress, a V-neck waisted flared mini dress, and a figure-hugging cocktail dress. A few adjustments were made by Mam to simplify making-up , and therefore becoming cheaper to produce and more sellable. Although we were aiming for individual designs and styles, the selling price was still a major factor in how successful the sales would be. Sally and Jane loved the designs and felt that they would sell well to girls our age and the three of us made up a few samples each in three different sizes for Mam to put on display in the shop. Although Mam’s main market was for the ‘more mature’ woman and for bridal parties, our teenage range drew in the younger crowd and their mothers which helped her sales.

Back at school we were studying hard for our “Mock’* exams in January which would let the teachers assess how prepared we would be for our GCSEs** next June and to allocate predictions of our likely pass grades. There was still time however for the less academic activities.

I was now a regular on the school netball team and we were maintaining our lead at the top of our league, but more significantly, as the winners of the regional tournament in Birmingham, we were invited to take part in the National Club finals in London in the Spring. This would be a more challenging competition, as although it was still grouped by age, we would be up against a lot of club teams who trained regularly and played almost to professional level and a lot of the girls were on their way to playing for senior clubs. We however played mainly for the enjoyment, but still had a very competitive edge to our game, and we were sure that we would not disgrace ourselves.

In our design class our term project was to design and make a ‘party dress’ for the upcoming holiday party season. I already had the designs I had prepared for the shop, showed my work to Miss Standing, and used the mini-dress as the basis for my project. Sally and Jane took some of my other designs, modified them and put their own twist on everything, and we decided that if they made up as well as they looked on paper that they would go on display in the shop too. As the three of us had been working in the shop, we were now almost at professional standard and we were well ahead of the other girls in the quality of the designs, selection of materials, and speed of making up the outfits, and by the end of our next session we were finished when the others were still cutting out their materials. Miss Standing was really impressed with what we had done and assured us of top grades in our end-of-term report. We were able to use the time we had left to make another outfit each, which went onto the rails in Mam’s shop.

Rehearsals continued down at the theatre, and now that we were working on stage and learning the dance routines and songs it was much more fun than it had been earlier, when we were going through the basics and mainly script reading. Listening to how Josie performed in her role as Sandy, I realised how challenging it would have been if I had continued as her understudy and was glad that I had opted out of that. If I was ever called on to take on the part of Frenchie I only had one scene and routine and song that really featured me, the rest of the time I would just be in the chorus of the 'Pink Ladies’ with the other girls.

A week before our first performance, we were having a full dress rehearsal with taped background music and were really getting into our parts, wearing the 1950s outfits of either the flared skirts with petticoats and pink blouses or the tight leggings, ( as they are now known,) and pink satin jackets, which helped a lot to get into character, we were really enjoying ourselves. It was all going so well, too well, when during her ‘Beauty school dropout’ scene Issy who was playing the role of Frenchie went over on her high heels, twisted her ankle and fell of the stage, breaking a bone in her leg. When we all got over our concerns about how badly hurt she was, Barry shouted out from his director’s chair,

“ Ok Kim you are on now, I hope that you have been watching and listening to how Issy has been playing the part of Frenchie, she won’t be back in time for the performances so you will be taking over. We’ll take five to allow you to get your thoughts together and then we’ll take it from the start of the scene again.”

I desperately tried to refocus my mind on how Issy had been playing the role, remembering her part in the song and dance routines and her lines. My first run through was full of mistakes which was to be expected, but after a couple of re-runs it was beginning to come together, although still needing a lot of work.

For the rest of the week all my spare time was spent going through my lines again and again and polishing up my singing, luckily Frenchie’s character went with my slightly husky voice. We had a final run-through full dress-rehearsal and everything came together really well, for an amateur group it was a fairly polished performance and if we could match it on opening night we were sure that it would be very well received.

Opening night went like a dream for me, i was totally in character concentrating on my lines and routines and unaware of the audience. As normal, there were a few fluffed lines or dance routines but they mostly went unnoticed ,and at the end of the show we all received enthusiastic applause and cheers from the audience. The review in the local newspaper the next day was excellent, our performances had gone down really well, I even got a personal mention “Kim Campbell, a late replacement gave a wonderful debut performance as Frenchie, and shows promise for future productions.”

For the rest of the week we all relaxed into the roles and were really enjoying taking part rather than worrying about doing things right, and on the last night at the end of the show we each reprised our major songs with lots of the audience joining in for a sing-along.

“ Well done Kim, you did a great job, can I count on you for our next production? It won’t be as lively, ‘And then there were none’ by Agatha Christie, a straight drama rather than a musical, but they can be just as much fun.”

“ I really enjoyed it all Barry, but I will have to say no, for the moment, it’s a big year for my exams and I want to concentrate on school work, as I am sure you will appreciate. Ask me again next summer please.”

We were soon preparing for the Christmas holidays, and the last week at school was a bit of a run-down, including a disco dance for the older classes. I was so excited getting ready for my first time at the dance as a girl, I had never enjoyed them before, as I was always a bit of a wallflower, watching the others enjoying themselves, but it was different this time.

I had earlier been to the salon to get my hair cut and curled and some blonde sun-streaks added, my eyebrows shaped my nails manicured and polished, and my ears pierced and fitted with diamond-ish studs. I sat in the sexiest undie set that I had, perfecting my make-up, and when I was happy with the result I put on my new mini-dress that I had designed and made, slipped into my heels, picked up my clutch bag and went downstairs to show Mam. As I walked down the stairs Mam was filming me with her camera and asked me to stand for a few shots to remind her of my first time really dressed up.

“ Oh darling, you are just so lovely, all these years you have been hiding yourself away, now just look at you.” she said with tears in her eyes, “Let’s go and pick up Sally and drop you off at the dance. I’m sure that you will be very popular and not a wallflower this year, just let yourself go and have a really good time.”

We joined up with some of the other girls in our class and spent quite a bit of time just gossiping about our outfits and hair and make up before going onto the dance floor and giving it our all. It was not long before we were broken up by the attentions of some of the boys, and I ended up spending a lot of the evening with Peter, one of the boys who had started this all off by stealing my clothes.

Most of dancing was lively free-form stuff where we danced together without much personal contact, but the last few dances were slower numbers giving us a chance to hold each other close. I was in dreamland with my head resting on his chest, loving the moment, when he raised my chin held me tight and gave a passionate kiss on my lips. My head started to spin, I was now content and natural living as a girl, but feeling the emotions of a girl was new to me and I was unsure how to respond, but my body took over from my mind and I held him even closer and held the kiss for longer.

The magic was broken by a tap on my shoulder. “ Sorry to interrupt Kim,” said Sally, “ but Mam is outside waiting to take us home, say your goodnights and I’ll see you outside.”

All the way home Sally and I chatted away about how we had enjoyed the night, but left out the bit about the smooching and kissing in front of her Mam. We agreed to talk more on the way to school in the morning and I went home where Mam wanted to know all about my night, and went to bed with my head in the clouds dreaming about Peter.

The next day at School, Peter came over to me before class. “I had a great time with you last night Kim, can we do it again sometime?”

“ I would love that Peter, but don’t forget that I am still really a boy, you don’t want to get a reputation as gay, do you.”

“ Look Kim, as far as anyone at school is concerned you are a girl through and through, and one of the most attractive and feminine ones at that, when I look at you all I see is girl, there is no boy there at all, you are very popular and there are a lot more of the boys would like to get to know you better. Don’t worry about my reputation.”

“We are both still on a buzz from last night’s excitement, let’s leave it until next term, when we have had a chance to come down from the clouds and see if we still feel the same.”, and to soften the rejection I gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Christmas was totally different this year, instead of playing with my new computer games and equipment as usual, all my gifts were clothes, makeup and accessories, Wearing my new dress I was in the kitchen helping Mam to prepare our meal, working with her chatting away I realised how much I had missed all these years, I had never really appreciated what she had done for me and what a rich life she had had. I made a Christmas promise to myself that things would be different in the future.

To be continued.

**
GCSE or ‘General Certificate of Secondary Education’ is a nationally set and marked exam normally taken by year 11 pupils, at age 16. These are taken in a wide range of subjects and are used to assess whether pupils want to leave school and take up work or vocational studies, or whether they want to carry on to take A-level*** exams to prepare them for Higher Education at University.

*
Mock exams are taken several months ahead of the GCSE and A-Level. These are set and assessed internally by the school to assess both the student’s performance , and also the success of the teaching curriculum.