After a bit of thought and some wonderful suggestions from Sephrena, I've decided to rework N21 and After Caesar into one book. At the time of writing them, I felt this should be done, and I think before we get too far into our intrepid explorer's uh... explorations, it should be done.

Eridani will also be reworked, and finished. At the present time, it's considerably farther than what is posted, and I don't think it will be a pleasant wait for our protagonist.

I decided that two pictures exactly the same were rather redundant. Since I make a rather unattractive female, I decided to put up a picture of something near and dear to me.
I built this piano about a a little over two years ago. Okay... I didn't build the actual digital piano, but I really loved my old upright, so I decided to turn my digital into an upright. Since I compose music on my computers, I put two computers inside it. Both the screens are on one machine, and the other one is able to be a headless workhorse. I've changed something since this picture was taken. The keyboard cover now opens the other way, and makes a nice desk for my computer keyboard to go on.
Kinda different.
Not quite steam punk, but it gets some interesting looks when people come over.

Ever done one of those things that was incredibly stupid, but you know you can use it in a story (if you can get over the embarrassment, that is?)

I was getting my brunch (I'm somewhat of a late riser) ready, consisting of smoked sausages and BBQ sauce (Don't judge me! LOL). I was reaching into the door of the fridge for the BBQ sauce, and I stopped myself from squeezing it onto my sausages when I realized that I had found, not BBQ, but Hershey's. Chocolate Sauce.

Do you ever think about how disturbed your muse might be?
I was recently writing a scene, and everything was all neatly mapped out. There should have been no problems, but I was trying to come up with a nice segue, and The Dreaded Muse spoke. This is sometimes a reason to run and curl up in the fetal position, because my muse is warped. Suddenly, she told me, "you know... We could make this so much better if we just make a teensy little adjustment."
Stupid me, I asked what adjustment that might be. I should have known better.
"You know that mini-series you watched years ago, and that one scene..."
If you're reading To Not Let Go... you'll know what I mean when you get there. I just want to post this disclaimer here. It wasn't me!!! It was The Dreaded Muse!!!

Rosemary

Sometimes I just have to shake my head and wonder what advertisers were thinking of, or were they thinking at all.

I was looking at Amazon for A/C prices, and got into the tiny evaporative coolers, or as we used to call them when I was a kid, swamp coolers, only in miniature size. There was one picture where the model was sitting in front of a portable A/C wearing a long-sleeved sweater.

Maybe I'm overanalyzing it, but it seems to me that either this girl can't realize that if the A/C is that effective, turn it off rather than put on a sweater, or take the sweater off, and don't bother with the A/C. Either way, rather than waste the electrical power of the portable A/C, turn it off and take off the sweater. Use brain power--not electrical power.

As I said, I'm probably overanalyzing.

This post needs a small amount of setup. My wife and my home is on Country Homes Blvd, otherwise known as the Current North / South Freeway in our city. We live just past where the right lane disappears because it has become a turn lane. This frequently becomes the cause of screeching tires and broken glass.

On another front, one of the wonderful (hear the sarcasm?) rewards for my recent medical problems (take your pick) is that when I want to sleep I can't and when I want to do something productive, I fall asleep.

Last night I was watching Youtube when I got sick and tired of insomnia.

This morning, I was taking off in my car. As I started to pull out of my driveway, my phone chose that moment to complete it's connection to my stereo.

The Ford Fusion Hybrid stock stereo is wonderful and the car is completely silent, unless you have a lead foot. This morning was glorious, so I had my windows down, and the sun was shining. My stereo was turned up.

I FORGOT I was watching "Stupid Driving Mistakes" online last night, so I got to listen, in full stereo and wonderful lifelike quality, to the sounds of squealing tires and breaking glass!

The good news is my reflexes are still wonderful. And my brakes are in GREAT shape!

Yesterday, I posted a blog about a shock when my car stereo started playing the sounds of squealing tires and breaking glass.

This evening I was working on a web page when out my office window, I heard squealing tires. I hurried outside and found that a car had been speeding on the street in front of my house, and couldn't make the turn. He had left skid marks past two and a half houses because he was driving so fast.

Thankfully, he hit the median and not my yard.

Found it interesting that I posted that yesterday, then this happened today. Gotta stop this.

A few days ago, I wrote a post about an amusing situation that happened to me while driving. In the comments, we began talking about driving trucks, and I mentioned some tragedies I have seen. I got to thinking I can't leave it there, on such a sour note, so the following is my favorite story to tell about my days as a truck driver.

Driving for Uber and Lyft, I am frequently asked what my best Uber / Lyft story is.

I have to tell my passengers that, while I’ve had some interesting things happen, the best was when I was driving semi. My personal favorite was when I was driving south on I-5, between Redding CA, and Lake Shasta. The freeway passes through a canyon there, and the weather inside has no bearing on what happens on either end.

I was travelling around 65 MPH, when a little sports car came whipping around me, like I was standing still. He had to be moving at around 85 or 90 MPH, and as he switched lanes (rather swiftly) in front of me, we moved out of the canyon. In Redding, the rain was pouring down, hard, and water was standing on the road. Naturally, he hydroplaned. He spun 3 complete 360s, right in front of my tractor, at speed. It is an interesting experience looking at someone’s face travelling in reverse at 80 MPH, and I felt rather sorry for the driver. I strongly suspect that all he saw in those few seconds was Peterbilt… Peterbilt… Peterbilt…

Somehow, through the grace of God, he got his car straightened out, and going the right direction. He did, however, take the next exit, and I am pretty certain he had to change his drawers. To be honest, I almost had to stop for a shower myself. Had he gained traction while sideways, it would have been all over, and that little car would not have made a nice hood ornament on my Pete.

Don't get me wrong. I like almost every type of music except rap and hip hop. I love composing classical music! Elevator Muzak is at the bottom of my list now, below rap and hip hop.

I have spent way too much time on ignore -- I mean, hold, during the COVID 19 outbreak, waiting for doctors, restaurants, Amazon.... Muzak has become a 5 letter, 4 letter word in my vocabulary.

Today, I was placed on ignore once again, and to my delight, the radio station that suddenly came through my phone speaker was playing Disco music! Joy! Bliss! I love disco music! Maybe I'm just old school, or perhaps growing up in the '70s did it, but I was rather disappointed when the nurse came back on and interrupted the song

Why is it, when I like the song., eg. Last Dance by Donna Summer, it's interrupted. But if it's Lambchop with The Song That Never Ends (forgive me Sheri Lewis, but that song was DUMB) it just goes on and on and on....???

I'm kind of enjoying FaceApp.

I used to have a sailboat, so being able to set a picture of me, as me, on a yacht, is quite nice.

Of course, my boat was only a 17 footer, but still, it was quite fun. Alas, when I bought the house I have now, I had no place to park it. The only place I could have, would have let the boat be destroyed along with my front yard with cars flying through on occasional visits.

Needless to say, I miss it. There is nothing like sailing.

I guess I need to quit banging my head against a wall, rock, or whatever nice, hard surface is available. Looking back over some of the fanfiction I've written, as well as humorous pieces, and some of the comments. "That defies the laws of physics", or whatnot, to which my response is usually, "What part of the words science fiction are we having problems with?"

I guess I expect too much of people anymore.

Sometimes, I like to close my eyes, and drift off to a world where horse sense was never sent to the glue factory with along with the horse, or common sense hadn't gotten upset because it was... well... just common.

Ahhh... A world without Star Wars I, II, III, VII, VIII, or IX. A world where Rocky XXIII wasn't a possibility, and First Blood hadn't spawned Fifteenth Blood!

A world where Donny Osmond sang his own songs, rather than danced for Weird Al... No wait.... That was actually pretty funny. That one can stay in my fantasy world.

A world where the price of water per gallon was less than the price of gas per 55 gallon drum! A world where people still know who I am referring to when I mention Thurston Howell III!

A world where.... You know... I think my headache's getting worse...

A few days ago, I received, in the mail, from Amazon, a thing that screws onto a water tap outside, where my fur girls can lick it to get their water. I had one before, and my pup took to it like a duck, or a dog, to water.

Unfortunately, my fur girls are a bit older, and don't seem to want to learn how to get water from the thingamajig. They'd much prefer I put a bowl under it, and hold the thing on so their bowl fills up like I'm their personal maid or something. Honest! They're dogs, not cats!

Anyway, I was trying to show one of them how to use it, when I heard the other one's excited yipping from the backyard. And the sound of running water. Oh no! I hurried back to my pool. Aryssta, my Border Collie / Kelpie mix, who finds spraying water fascinating and tries to catch it in her mouth, had somehow gotten one of the hoses loose from my pool's filter pump, and was trying to catch the water pouring out onto the ground in her mouth.

In retrospect, I suppose it makes sense from her point of view. Water comes out of that a LOT faster than from the little thing on the garden hose.

Anyone want a pool? How about a Kelpie? (Kidding... I think.)

We've ended up having talks about accidents on my blog a few times. Well, this is hopefully the opposite.

I've had several people who have taken the final scene of Back to the Future to heart at my place. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

In the beginning.... Wait. To far back. Let's see... Oh yeah. When I was a kid, I saw all the houses on this street, and I fell in love them. Fast forward to four years ago, and we were looking to purchase a house. We saw one on this street, and through a long drawn out process where I signed my name more that the number of times I did when I entered the military, we purchased it.

Actually, the bank did, but you know how that works. :-)

In my city, they have been building about a 7 mile freeway that circles around the outskirts of town from Interstate 90 to a highway running north from town for the last 20 years. This is referred to as the North / South Freeway.

The street I live on, is divided in the center by a wide patch that used to be a deep concrete creekbed, but has been filled in with all sorts of greenery and soil which filters the water as it runs down to our reservoir. This is what I sometimes lovingly, and sometimes not so lovingly, refer to as the current North / South Freeway. Hopefully just until they get the new one finished sometime within the next 30 years.

The posted limit on this road is 30mph, but the actual speed limit is anywhere from 45 to 60, sometimes higher. This brings me to our problem.

Four years ago, about six months after we bought our house was our first experience with Back to the Future wannabe's. Or perhaps it was Jane Jetson, although probably more Judy Jetson's age. I was walking out of my house to get in the car and go to work. The young lady, we'll call her Judy, was in a fit of road rage and drunk, and moving at between 60 and 80mph. She went through two yards, and hit the curb at the edge of my next door neighbor's driveway, flipped her car end over end, hit my son's Grand Cherokee in my front yard, totaling it from the top down, and ended up upside down in the street. Naturally, Judy did not have insurance.

The next flying car was driven by... we'll call him George. He too, was somewhat inebriated. He destroyed some of my brickwork in my front yard, as well as the street light down the road, breaking it off at the sidewalk and pushing it about a hundred feet (30 meters) down the road before running over it and ending up in the ditch.

Elroy also took out the brickwork, however, he was not inebriated. It was slick, he hit some black ice, and he was unfamiliar with a stick shift. He removed my brickwork and front flower garden. Somehow, he completely missed my roses, which as you can guess by my name, are quite important to me.

I've also had three cars end up directly in front of my house, but in the greenery where the water runs through to the reservoir.

All of this in the space of 4 years.

As you can imagine, I've had many people tell me I should sell my house, and strangely, the value of my house has increased considerably since I purchased it, so I would have about $90,000 in my hand when I sold it. Granted, that could be because the county wants more money from property tax. The fact is, neither of us want to sell, and frankly, where can you get such good, free entertainment as watching people prepare for the Indy 500 in front of your house?

Today, we had a (hopefully foolproof) solution installed. (YAY!!!) It won't even remove our free entertainment. Possibly, it will make it better! We had 6 boulders installed in our property line where Judy flipped her car. Judy's problem, and relatively short airtime was because the bottom of her car stopped while the top wanted to keep moving, thus producing a rolling motion, which combined with my brickwork launched her skyward. These boulders should tell the entire car to stop moving, perhaps causing extreme damage to the rocks, and the crumple zone on the cars, but hopefully not depleating either my, or my insurance company's bankroll. Hopefully, it will save my brickwork, and my roses.

My goal is obviously, not to kill anyone, but to save them. There are several items that I could have placed at that spot that would not move, or break. That would transfer a lot of energy into their cars, crushing them more. Hopefully, the rocks will break, taking some of that energy.

I know, my 2nd blog post today. Sorry.

The other day I tried something new. I sliced a bit of skin off my thumb with a mandolin slicer.

My left thumb is, of course, the test bed for all kinds of fun and wonderful scientific experiments.

Several years ago I tried putting a bullet through the same thumb. While the bullet left sensation in this thumb somewhat less than normal, I can say unequivocally after the slicer test that sensation is still there.

For my science-minded friends, I will say this. The amount of blood from a mandolin slicer test is much more satisfying than a bullet wound, as the bullet just leaves red spray on the snow in front of you (if your experiment is conducted in winter and outside as mine was) while the slicer leaves huge droplets all over the floor and sink!

From a pain standpoint, I feel that the bullet wound is much more satisfying as the pain for that lasts several days while the slicer is over in just several hours.

All in all, both experiments yield impressive results, but I recommend not trying yourself as I've done it for you and posted my results here.

Have you ever had one of those days where absolutely nothing goes right?

I think most people consider 2020 to be one of those years, but for me July 2020 is the culmination of 2020.

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin's husband let us know that she had a massive hemorrhage in her brain, and the doctors had operated twice. More on that in a moment.

A few days ago, a friend in church had a massive hemorrhage in her brain. Her husband and adopted son found her laying on the floor after just going to the grocery store for something. What an experience for a young boy to face. In two days, she was declared brain dead.

At the same time, another friend from church went into the hospital with oxygen stats at 40%. Needless to say, it should be above 95%. He's now in the hospital for COVID.

Last night, I found out that my cousin is breathing on her own and can open her eyes, but there is no recognition there, because she has so much brain damage. The docs aren't sure if she will get any better over time. It's honestly too early to tell.

Today was the memorial service for our friend at the church who was declared brain dead.

What else will July bring? Murder hornets? Yellowstone? Bring it on! Praise God I can do all things through Him who strengthens me!

As many will know I used to be a minister, and am still a dedicated Christian.

*** START OF RANT ***

Why do Christians place chrome fish on the back of their cars, then proceed to be obnoxious drivers?

Today I was driving for Uber / Lyft, and was cut off by a ****** (make of car censored) driven by two teenage ****** (gender of teens censored). Basically, I wanted to change lanes, and signalled my intention, only to have the (censored make and model) speed up and pass me, then show me the fish on the back. What kind of a witness is this? "You need what I have! Look how obnoxious I am! Doesn't it make you want Jesus?"

I love my Savior and I try not to be that kind of example. Granted, we make mistakes, and sometimes we are in a hurry. It's the blatant cutting people off that gets to me. Stomping on the gas when someone signals, then cutting them off is not "in humility treating others better than yourself."

I guess I'm kinda a pill when it comes to typing. Especially when it involves a blog or a PM. I've been wishing we had a method of using Emojis in blogs and messages. I finally figured out a way to do it, although it's a workaround.

It's a serious workaround, especially in PMs, but it does the job.

Emoji by OpenEmoji

Several years ago, I posted a very short piece on Fanfiction.net. Captain Kirk comes up against impossible tech in the Enterprise because it violates the laws of physics.

Interestingly, when I posted the piece (Ye Canna Break the Laws of Physics, Cap’n) here on BCTS, it ended up getting the most comments of anything I’ve ever written. (I think The Final Rescue is number 2).

Being the opportunist that I am (rolling eyes) I wondered if there was any way to cash in on that?

Now, I’ve been told that many of the things I called impossible in the Star Trek story are not, but what if I were to write something about Road Runner and Wiley Coyote? Say, Wiley Coyote paints a tunnel on the side of a hill, and Road Runner runs into the hole, only to find himself buried in solid rock? Or he simply hits the “not there hole” and falls backward to where the coyote is sitting, napkin tied around his neck, knife and fork in his hands, ready to dig in to the road runner who falls perfectly onto his plate?

We’ll ignore that somehow the coyote got this table ready in time to catch the road runner as he fell backward.

Or how about the fact that roadrunners make about 25 MPH, while a coyote actually has a top speed much faster? Are there any other laws of physics that Road Runner breaks, or rather broke on a regular basis? Certainly not that a pinnacle of rock, hanging over a canyon will stay in place while the rest of the plateau falls at speeds only obtainable by two black holes orbiting each other.

Or the fact that a coyote generally doesn’t fall 10,000 feet off a cliff face, hit the ground below, and walk away at the approximate height of a manhole cover.

Is it my imagination, or do Looney Toons have much less of a good relationship with physics than Star Trek?

Gotta love people who honk their horn .1 second after the light turns green. So thoughtful of them to give a person so much time to take their foot off the brake and hit the accelerator.

*** Start of Rant ***

To the person who thoughtfully vouched for other drivers this morning with their horn. I appreciate your thoughtfulness... I really do. But, while you must know the people who were on our left, as you let me know with your horn that they weren't going to run their red light, in my years of experience driving, I have seen people do just that. Even people that I know, so I kinda like to verify that myself. Again, your thoughtfulness in vouching for others is a wonderful thing, but while driving, its probably a good thing to concentrate on yourself. Not others.

*** End of Rant ***

COVID19

Well, I just got word that one of my best friends died today.

A lot to deal with, but I’m glad that it’s only a see you later. He’s one of my best friends from church, and I know he has a heart of gold. Now he’s walking the streets of gold. I’m so looking forward to seeing him again.

So the other day, I had an ultrasound in a place where I have had a pain in my abdomen since I was 17 years old. At that starting point, it makes it well over thirty years that the pain has been on and off.

They did find one. There are a couple of problems I have here, however. I drove truck for many years, and I pulled double flatbeds. This means that I lifted 100 to 150 lb tarps onto the front and back of two trailers each day. Once, five feet to the deck,and once six to eight feet to the top of the load. How did I not aggravate the hernia?

The second problem is, the pain has moved to the other side. Instead of being on the right side, it's now on the left. Did the hernia move? In my understanding of hernias, this is not a usual occurrence. I hate to call my doctor, but I guess I'm going to have to, and tell her that it's now in a different location. If she tells me it's probably the hernia, I'm thinking I may need a different doctor.

So I spent a bit of time last night in the emergency room. At such times, my mind begins to wander... or is it wonder?

For example, What exactly is the Tooth Ferry for? Where does it cross. I thought there was a bridge there.

Do you leave positive or negative feedback when you purchase batteries online?

In Greek mythology, was Chiron known as the Centaur for Disease Control?

Is Irony truely the opposite of wrinkley?

I keep hearing all these "facts" about if you took all the blood vessels in your body and laid them end to end. The fact is: you would die.

Of course, being in the ER, I wondered if it would confuse my doctor if I put on rubber gloves at the same time he did.

Isn't line dancing also called a roadside sobriety test?

Is the reason they keep wanting people to get their animals "fixed" to cut down on littering?

Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards are backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

Is a six piece chicken dinner, six kernels of corn?

And last, but not least, is it strange that I get these thoughts when I go to the ER because of a seizure?

Saw my girl, Mya, laying on the floor. It's a lazy day for both of us. Nothing really happening, so she's laying on the hardwood floor.

I've tried getting her a bed to sleep on, as other of my dogs have had.

Aryssta, my other dog, is laying on the hardwood floor, under my dining room table. Both, when given a bed at approximately one year old, chewed it to shreds. My question, I suppose, is how can either stand to lay on a hard floor?

I know dogs do it all the time, and never complain - okay, my parent's greyhounds do, but they have no fat either. My dogs, on the other hand, are gluttons, and have lots of fat, and my husky (the one in the picture) has loads of hair. Maybe it cushions them?

I'm not sure, however. I have a lot more fat and it sure doesn't cushion me if I'm on the floor!

When I was a child, I didn't like spicy food. The nearest I can figure is I had wimpy taste buds. At about fifteen or so, I had some hot ribs, and I realized that the flavor was wonderful.

Now, being young and dumb, like a lot of fifteen years olds are, I thought that eating spicy food would make me more 'masculine'. All I can say to that, is it hasn't worked yet.

So now, in my fifties, I love the taste of jalapenos. Absolutely love them. The thing is, I like my food with a bit of kick. Generally, I use reaper chilies or ghost chilies for the kick, and jalapenos for the taste.

A few weeks ago, I was making some nachos (since I'm a diabetic, I make them with pork rinds instead of corn tortilla chips) and I accidently sprinkled the dry ghost chilies in the same manner I would something with less of a kick. Like salt, or pepper, or ketchup.

I realized after I put the ghost chilies down what I had done. Being so frugal a person that I could teach Ebenezer Scrooge a thing or two, I didn't want to waste my pork rinds, cheese, and salsa, so I decided I would eat it anyway.

I have often heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes when you die. That is not so. I didn't see anything about my birth or the first year and a half of my life, which is really too bad. I wanted to see Riverside California back then.

After I was revived, I vowed never to use that many ghost chilies on my food. There is one problem, however. Some of my pain receptors do not seem to have made it along with the rest of me. To have a kick in my food, I find I need a substantial amount more of hot stuff than I used to use. Not sprinkled liberally, but definitely not conservatively.

Interestingly, I need to use jalapenos more liberally than I used to, because I don't like the taste of ghost chilies. Only the kick. I want the jalapeno chilies to drown out the taste of the ghost, which makes my food hotter and hotter when I don't get it right the first time. Sigh Gotta get some more reapers. They taste much better.

There are times I think I should have been born with a much lighter hair color (before anyone gets up in arms, did I say blond?) rather than the bright red I had as a child. Yes, it darkened into a nice auburn when I was a teenager, and then went boring brown as I got older.

I mean, what kind of idiot eats ghost chili potato chips, then (even after washing hands and using alcohol wipes) checks blood sugar levels, then injects insulin?

Ow ow ow!

While I try not to hate people, I dislike the following type of person intensely, which is why this originally hit my facebook page a few years ago.
For those who know Spokane and the south hill, I was on 57th where Hatch Road comes up the hill and merges with it. A woman in a Subaru Outback came up the hill like a bat from Hades and got right on my backdoor.

I'm not someone who tolerates tailgaters well, so I flashed my brake lights at her. This induced her to hang her hand out of her window and show me 4 fingers, then 5, while shouting "It's 45 here!"

I like backseat driving just as much as I like tailgating, and the car behind me giving instructions that I hadn't asked for is taking it to the extreme. I did the only thing I could, and let off on the accelerator.

This didn't improve her mood any, and strangely, I believe it may have made her mad. I did look around at the neighborhood, and came to the conclusion that I was not about to drive in a residential area at 45 MPH in the morning when kids are on their way to school. Not only that, but if by some strange circumstance, the speed limit WAS 45, the person who determined that was an idiot. About that time, I passed a speed limit sign for the other direction, and looked at it in my left mirror.

I realize that the possibility exists that the speed limits on each side of the street are different, (as I was driving home tonight, I verified that they are the same) but I figured they wouldn't be. You know, she was right. I wasn't going the speed limit. It was with a certain amount of malicious glee that I hit my brake and slowed the 5 MPH to the speed limit (30mph). A moment later, she shot by me in the left turn lane and got caught at a red turn arrow as I sailed by her (at the speed limit -- my light was still green).

I decided to let bygones be bygones and gave her a cheery wave of good morning as I went by. I'm probably glad I didn't see her face at this point.

My parents love Greyhounds. They've had two wonderful girls for seven or so years. One is kind of skittish, and never raced. The other was a champion racer. Her name is Princess, short for Princess Leah (I know the spelling is wrong for the Star Wars character, but it's correct for her.) I looked up her stats on the internet after my parents adopted her, and they were impressive.

She broke a leg while racing one day, and was no longer of any use to her owner, and after her leg was pinned back together, she was sent to a greyhound rescue, and my parents got her.

Unfortunately, I just got word that Princess isn't doing very well, and they're afraid that she won't last much longer. I'm concerned about both my parents, and their other greyhound, Cindy. Those two dogs are so used to spending their time together, and Cindy is such a nervous girl, I'm not sure she can make it without her 'sister'.

We've been having fires all over in Washington State. Most of the state has unhealthy air at the moment. A couple of days ago, you could see nothing of Seattle from the Space Needle. Now it's reasonably clear.

However, I live on the other side of the state in Spokane. We are in a valley, and have no wind at the moment, and none is expected tomorrow either.

Schools are closed, and many businesses are as well.

About a week ago, a town south of us was 80% destroyed. What a mess, on top of COVID.

https://enviwa.ecology.wa.gov/home/text/421#Forecast

We are the only city in Washington where the air quality is considered hazardous.

I realized I haven't posted a blog entry for a bit.

While I was chatting with a friend (Malady) this morning, I was reminded of one of my favorite (least favorite at the time) instances while driving truck. I pulled a set of double flatbeds, which made my tractor, lead trailer, tongue, and pup 98' long. I had an adjustable tongue on the pup, which went from three feet to six feet, so the offtrack on the pup was considerably large, meaning that I had to swing REALLY wide with my tractor if I didn't want the pup in the ditch. I almost always pulled it with the tongue spread because it gave me a smoother ride in the cab, something very desirable as I didn't have air ride on either trailer, so the jerk from every bump they hit was very noticeable in the cab.

Anyway, one day, in 1995, I was in Seattle, very close to where the Kingdome stood I got directions from a place I was heading to load up something heading to Spokane, WA. I called the shipper to get directions, and the woman I was talking to told me to go NORTH to the viaduct. Well, I was north of it already, so I told her exactly where I was and asked her to verify. She insisted that I go north, so I figured, well, I don't live in Seattle, so maybe there's a viaduct I don't know about.

There wasn't.

It's important to note that I was south of Seattle's city center. I was SOUTH of it. Going NORTH put me IN the city center.

They were doing road construction.

They were down to one lane on most streets. I had the tongue spread on my pup. Hardly mattered though, because if I had closed it, I would still be 95' long.

While I was good at maneuvering my tractor and trailers, and even taught how to pull doubles, there is no physical way to turn from one very narrow lane to another very narrow lane with a vehicle that long.

Construction men were moving orange barrels (also known as Washingto State Flowers) for me while I called Miss Faulty Directions every name in the book, and then some! They must have wondered why some fool with a set of doubles ended up in downtown Seattle, while they were working on the roads. Well, nevermind working on the roads! That was just the icing on the cake!

Need I say that Miss Faulty Directions received an earful when I finally got to the shipper, where I was picking up 65,000 pounds of steel, to sit on my 40,000 pounds of tractor and trailers? Thank God I didn't end up in downtown Seattle loaded!

Actually, when I walked into the office, the first thing out of my mouth was, "Alright; who gave me directions?" That may not be an exact quote, but I don't talk like that anymore.

The receptionist, in a very quiet and careful voice asked, "Were they wrong?"

I explained what happened, and she said. "It wasn't me." She then pointed me in the direction I needed to go to express my opinion of Miss Faulty Directions, and to tell her there is only ONE viaduct in Seattle!

Thankfully, getting out of Seattle after loading was no problem at all, as the viaduct connected with Interstate 5, which half a mile north, connected with Interstate 90, where I would head straight to Spokane.

Anyway, I hope you are having a better day than I had that day, 25 years ago, in Downtown Seattle.

I can laugh at it now.

Ha.... Ha.... Ha...

No. I guess I can't. I think I'm scarred for life. (kidding)

One of the great things about insomnia is the time you have to think about stuff. I think about consequences a lot. For example, when I finally get enough sleep, and I feel guilty about staying in bed because it's now afternoon, I get up and reach for the light chain from my ceiling fan, and my body says, "Nope. You do that, I'm gonna dump you on the floor."

The problem with that is NOT the fear of a concussion. It's the fact that the dogs are there, and if I fall on them, they're gonna be worried, and they're gonna want to lick my face to make sure I'm alright, and I KNOW where their tongues have been!

See? Isn't insomnia fun?