After a bit of thought and some wonderful suggestions from Sephrena, I've decided to rework N21 and After Caesar into one book. At the time of writing them, I felt this should be done, and I think before we get too far into our intrepid explorer's uh... explorations, it should be done.

Eridani will also be reworked, and finished. At the present time, it's considerably farther than what is posted, and I don't think it will be a pleasant wait for our protagonist.

I decided that two pictures exactly the same were rather redundant. Since I make a rather unattractive female, I decided to put up a picture of something near and dear to me.
I built this piano about a a little over two years ago. Okay... I didn't build the actual digital piano, but I really loved my old upright, so I decided to turn my digital into an upright. Since I compose music on my computers, I put two computers inside it. Both the screens are on one machine, and the other one is able to be a headless workhorse. I've changed something since this picture was taken. The keyboard cover now opens the other way, and makes a nice desk for my computer keyboard to go on.
Kinda different.
Not quite steam punk, but it gets some interesting looks when people come over.

Ever done one of those things that was incredibly stupid, but you know you can use it in a story (if you can get over the embarrassment, that is?)

I was getting my brunch (I'm somewhat of a late riser) ready, consisting of smoked sausages and BBQ sauce (Don't judge me! LOL). I was reaching into the door of the fridge for the BBQ sauce, and I stopped myself from squeezing it onto my sausages when I realized that I had found, not BBQ, but Hershey's. Chocolate Sauce.

Do you ever think about how disturbed your muse might be?
I was recently writing a scene, and everything was all neatly mapped out. There should have been no problems, but I was trying to come up with a nice segue, and The Dreaded Muse spoke. This is sometimes a reason to run and curl up in the fetal position, because my muse is warped. Suddenly, she told me, "you know... We could make this so much better if we just make a teensy little adjustment."
Stupid me, I asked what adjustment that might be. I should have known better.
"You know that mini-series you watched years ago, and that one scene..."
If you're reading To Not Let Go... you'll know what I mean when you get there. I just want to post this disclaimer here. It wasn't me!!! It was The Dreaded Muse!!!

Rosemary

Sometimes I just have to shake my head and wonder what advertisers were thinking of, or were they thinking at all.

I was looking at Amazon for A/C prices, and got into the tiny evaporative coolers, or as we used to call them when I was a kid, swamp coolers, only in miniature size. There was one picture where the model was sitting in front of a portable A/C wearing a long-sleeved sweater.

Maybe I'm overanalyzing it, but it seems to me that either this girl can't realize that if the A/C is that effective, turn it off rather than put on a sweater, or take the sweater off, and don't bother with the A/C. Either way, rather than waste the electrical power of the portable A/C, turn it off and take off the sweater. Use brain power--not electrical power.

As I said, I'm probably overanalyzing.

This post needs a small amount of setup. My wife and my home is on Country Homes Blvd, otherwise known as the Current North / South Freeway in our city. We live just past where the right lane disappears because it has become a turn lane. This frequently becomes the cause of screeching tires and broken glass.

On another front, one of the wonderful (hear the sarcasm?) rewards for my recent medical problems (take your pick) is that when I want to sleep I can't and when I want to do something productive, I fall asleep.

Last night I was watching Youtube when I got sick and tired of insomnia.

This morning, I was taking off in my car. As I started to pull out of my driveway, my phone chose that moment to complete it's connection to my stereo.

The Ford Fusion Hybrid stock stereo is wonderful and the car is completely silent, unless you have a lead foot. This morning was glorious, so I had my windows down, and the sun was shining. My stereo was turned up.

I FORGOT I was watching "Stupid Driving Mistakes" online last night, so I got to listen, in full stereo and wonderful lifelike quality, to the sounds of squealing tires and breaking glass!

The good news is my reflexes are still wonderful. And my brakes are in GREAT shape!

Yesterday, I posted a blog about a shock when my car stereo started playing the sounds of squealing tires and breaking glass.

This evening I was working on a web page when out my office window, I heard squealing tires. I hurried outside and found that a car had been speeding on the street in front of my house, and couldn't make the turn. He had left skid marks past two and a half houses because he was driving so fast.

Thankfully, he hit the median and not my yard.

Found it interesting that I posted that yesterday, then this happened today. Gotta stop this.

A few days ago, I wrote a post about an amusing situation that happened to me while driving. In the comments, we began talking about driving trucks, and I mentioned some tragedies I have seen. I got to thinking I can't leave it there, on such a sour note, so the following is my favorite story to tell about my days as a truck driver.

Driving for Uber and Lyft, I am frequently asked what my best Uber / Lyft story is.

I have to tell my passengers that, while I’ve had some interesting things happen, the best was when I was driving semi. My personal favorite was when I was driving south on I-5, between Redding CA, and Lake Shasta. The freeway passes through a canyon there, and the weather inside has no bearing on what happens on either end.

I was travelling around 65 MPH, when a little sports car came whipping around me, like I was standing still. He had to be moving at around 85 or 90 MPH, and as he switched lanes (rather swiftly) in front of me, we moved out of the canyon. In Redding, the rain was pouring down, hard, and water was standing on the road. Naturally, he hydroplaned. He spun 3 complete 360s, right in front of my tractor, at speed. It is an interesting experience looking at someone’s face travelling in reverse at 80 MPH, and I felt rather sorry for the driver. I strongly suspect that all he saw in those few seconds was Peterbilt… Peterbilt… Peterbilt…

Somehow, through the grace of God, he got his car straightened out, and going the right direction. He did, however, take the next exit, and I am pretty certain he had to change his drawers. To be honest, I almost had to stop for a shower myself. Had he gained traction while sideways, it would have been all over, and that little car would not have made a nice hood ornament on my Pete.

Don't get me wrong. I like almost every type of music except rap and hip hop. I love composing classical music! Elevator Muzak is at the bottom of my list now, below rap and hip hop.

I have spent way too much time on ignore -- I mean, hold, during the COVID 19 outbreak, waiting for doctors, restaurants, Amazon.... Muzak has become a 5 letter, 4 letter word in my vocabulary.

Today, I was placed on ignore once again, and to my delight, the radio station that suddenly came through my phone speaker was playing Disco music! Joy! Bliss! I love disco music! Maybe I'm just old school, or perhaps growing up in the '70s did it, but I was rather disappointed when the nurse came back on and interrupted the song

Why is it, when I like the song., eg. Last Dance by Donna Summer, it's interrupted. But if it's Lambchop with The Song That Never Ends (forgive me Sheri Lewis, but that song was DUMB) it just goes on and on and on....???

I'm kind of enjoying FaceApp.

I used to have a sailboat, so being able to set a picture of me, as me, on a yacht, is quite nice.

Of course, my boat was only a 17 footer, but still, it was quite fun. Alas, when I bought the house I have now, I had no place to park it. The only place I could have, would have let the boat be destroyed along with my front yard with cars flying through on occasional visits.

Needless to say, I miss it. There is nothing like sailing.

I guess I need to quit banging my head against a wall, rock, or whatever nice, hard surface is available. Looking back over some of the fanfiction I've written, as well as humorous pieces, and some of the comments. "That defies the laws of physics", or whatnot, to which my response is usually, "What part of the words science fiction are we having problems with?"

I guess I expect too much of people anymore.

Sometimes, I like to close my eyes, and drift off to a world where horse sense was never sent to the glue factory with along with the horse, or common sense hadn't gotten upset because it was... well... just common.

Ahhh... A world without Star Wars I, II, III, VII, VIII, or IX. A world where Rocky XXIII wasn't a possibility, and First Blood hadn't spawned Fifteenth Blood!

A world where Donny Osmond sang his own songs, rather than danced for Weird Al... No wait.... That was actually pretty funny. That one can stay in my fantasy world.

A world where the price of water per gallon was less than the price of gas per 55 gallon drum! A world where people still know who I am referring to when I mention Thurston Howell III!

A world where.... You know... I think my headache's getting worse...

A few days ago, I received, in the mail, from Amazon, a thing that screws onto a water tap outside, where my fur girls can lick it to get their water. I had one before, and my pup took to it like a duck, or a dog, to water.

Unfortunately, my fur girls are a bit older, and don't seem to want to learn how to get water from the thingamajig. They'd much prefer I put a bowl under it, and hold the thing on so their bowl fills up like I'm their personal maid or something. Honest! They're dogs, not cats!

Anyway, I was trying to show one of them how to use it, when I heard the other one's excited yipping from the backyard. And the sound of running water. Oh no! I hurried back to my pool. Aryssta, my Border Collie / Kelpie mix, who finds spraying water fascinating and tries to catch it in her mouth, had somehow gotten one of the hoses loose from my pool's filter pump, and was trying to catch the water pouring out onto the ground in her mouth.

In retrospect, I suppose it makes sense from her point of view. Water comes out of that a LOT faster than from the little thing on the garden hose.

Anyone want a pool? How about a Kelpie? (Kidding... I think.)

We've ended up having talks about accidents on my blog a few times. Well, this is hopefully the opposite.

I've had several people who have taken the final scene of Back to the Future to heart at my place. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

In the beginning.... Wait. To far back. Let's see... Oh yeah. When I was a kid, I saw all the houses on this street, and I fell in love them. Fast forward to four years ago, and we were looking to purchase a house. We saw one on this street, and through a long drawn out process where I signed my name more that the number of times I did when I entered the military, we purchased it.

Actually, the bank did, but you know how that works. :-)

In my city, they have been building about a 7 mile freeway that circles around the outskirts of town from Interstate 90 to a highway running north from town for the last 20 years. This is referred to as the North / South Freeway.

The street I live on, is divided in the center by a wide patch that used to be a deep concrete creekbed, but has been filled in with all sorts of greenery and soil which filters the water as it runs down to our reservoir. This is what I sometimes lovingly, and sometimes not so lovingly, refer to as the current North / South Freeway. Hopefully just until they get the new one finished sometime within the next 30 years.

The posted limit on this road is 30mph, but the actual speed limit is anywhere from 45 to 60, sometimes higher. This brings me to our problem.

Four years ago, about six months after we bought our house was our first experience with Back to the Future wannabe's. Or perhaps it was Jane Jetson, although probably more Judy Jetson's age. I was walking out of my house to get in the car and go to work. The young lady, we'll call her Judy, was in a fit of road rage and drunk, and moving at between 60 and 80mph. She went through two yards, and hit the curb at the edge of my next door neighbor's driveway, flipped her car end over end, hit my son's Grand Cherokee in my front yard, totaling it from the top down, and ended up upside down in the street. Naturally, Judy did not have insurance.

The next flying car was driven by... we'll call him George. He too, was somewhat inebriated. He destroyed some of my brickwork in my front yard, as well as the street light down the road, breaking it off at the sidewalk and pushing it about a hundred feet (30 meters) down the road before running over it and ending up in the ditch.

Elroy also took out the brickwork, however, he was not inebriated. It was slick, he hit some black ice, and he was unfamiliar with a stick shift. He removed my brickwork and front flower garden. Somehow, he completely missed my roses, which as you can guess by my name, are quite important to me.

I've also had three cars end up directly in front of my house, but in the greenery where the water runs through to the reservoir.

All of this in the space of 4 years.

As you can imagine, I've had many people tell me I should sell my house, and strangely, the value of my house has increased considerably since I purchased it, so I would have about $90,000 in my hand when I sold it. Granted, that could be because the county wants more money from property tax. The fact is, neither of us want to sell, and frankly, where can you get such good, free entertainment as watching people prepare for the Indy 500 in front of your house?

Today, we had a (hopefully foolproof) solution installed. (YAY!!!) It won't even remove our free entertainment. Possibly, it will make it better! We had 6 boulders installed in our property line where Judy flipped her car. Judy's problem, and relatively short airtime was because the bottom of her car stopped while the top wanted to keep moving, thus producing a rolling motion, which combined with my brickwork launched her skyward. These boulders should tell the entire car to stop moving, perhaps causing extreme damage to the rocks, and the crumple zone on the cars, but hopefully not depleating either my, or my insurance company's bankroll. Hopefully, it will save my brickwork, and my roses.

My goal is obviously, not to kill anyone, but to save them. There are several items that I could have placed at that spot that would not move, or break. That would transfer a lot of energy into their cars, crushing them more. Hopefully, the rocks will break, taking some of that energy.

I know, my 2nd blog post today. Sorry.

The other day I tried something new. I sliced a bit of skin off my thumb with a mandolin slicer.

My left thumb is, of course, the test bed for all kinds of fun and wonderful scientific experiments.

Several years ago I tried putting a bullet through the same thumb. While the bullet left sensation in this thumb somewhat less than normal, I can say unequivocally after the slicer test that sensation is still there.

For my science-minded friends, I will say this. The amount of blood from a mandolin slicer test is much more satisfying than a bullet wound, as the bullet just leaves red spray on the snow in front of you (if your experiment is conducted in winter and outside as mine was) while the slicer leaves huge droplets all over the floor and sink!

From a pain standpoint, I feel that the bullet wound is much more satisfying as the pain for that lasts several days while the slicer is over in just several hours.

All in all, both experiments yield impressive results, but I recommend not trying yourself as I've done it for you and posted my results here.

Have you ever had one of those days where absolutely nothing goes right?

I think most people consider 2020 to be one of those years, but for me July 2020 is the culmination of 2020.

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin's husband let us know that she had a massive hemorrhage in her brain, and the doctors had operated twice. More on that in a moment.

A few days ago, a friend in church had a massive hemorrhage in her brain. Her husband and adopted son found her laying on the floor after just going to the grocery store for something. What an experience for a young boy to face. In two days, she was declared brain dead.

At the same time, another friend from church went into the hospital with oxygen stats at 40%. Needless to say, it should be above 95%. He's now in the hospital for COVID.

Last night, I found out that my cousin is breathing on her own and can open her eyes, but there is no recognition there, because she has so much brain damage. The docs aren't sure if she will get any better over time. It's honestly too early to tell.

Today was the memorial service for our friend at the church who was declared brain dead.

What else will July bring? Murder hornets? Yellowstone? Bring it on! Praise God I can do all things through Him who strengthens me!

As many will know I used to be a minister, and am still a dedicated Christian.

*** START OF RANT ***

Why do Christians place chrome fish on the back of their cars, then proceed to be obnoxious drivers?

Today I was driving for Uber / Lyft, and was cut off by a ****** (make of car censored) driven by two teenage ****** (gender of teens censored). Basically, I wanted to change lanes, and signalled my intention, only to have the (censored make and model) speed up and pass me, then show me the fish on the back. What kind of a witness is this? "You need what I have! Look how obnoxious I am! Doesn't it make you want Jesus?"

I love my Savior and I try not to be that kind of example. Granted, we make mistakes, and sometimes we are in a hurry. It's the blatant cutting people off that gets to me. Stomping on the gas when someone signals, then cutting them off is not "in humility treating others better than yourself."

I guess I'm kinda a pill when it comes to typing. Especially when it involves a blog or a PM. I've been wishing we had a method of using Emojis in blogs and messages. I finally figured out a way to do it, although it's a workaround.

It's a serious workaround, especially in PMs, but it does the job.

Emoji by OpenEmoji

Several years ago, I posted a very short piece on Fanfiction.net. Captain Kirk comes up against impossible tech in the Enterprise because it violates the laws of physics.

Interestingly, when I posted the piece (Ye Canna Break the Laws of Physics, Cap’n) here on BCTS, it ended up getting the most comments of anything I’ve ever written. (I think The Final Rescue is number 2).

Being the opportunist that I am (rolling eyes) I wondered if there was any way to cash in on that?

Now, I’ve been told that many of the things I called impossible in the Star Trek story are not, but what if I were to write something about Road Runner and Wiley Coyote? Say, Wiley Coyote paints a tunnel on the side of a hill, and Road Runner runs into the hole, only to find himself buried in solid rock? Or he simply hits the “not there hole” and falls backward to where the coyote is sitting, napkin tied around his neck, knife and fork in his hands, ready to dig in to the road runner who falls perfectly onto his plate?

We’ll ignore that somehow the coyote got this table ready in time to catch the road runner as he fell backward.

Or how about the fact that roadrunners make about 25 MPH, while a coyote actually has a top speed much faster? Are there any other laws of physics that Road Runner breaks, or rather broke on a regular basis? Certainly not that a pinnacle of rock, hanging over a canyon will stay in place while the rest of the plateau falls at speeds only obtainable by two black holes orbiting each other.

Or the fact that a coyote generally doesn’t fall 10,000 feet off a cliff face, hit the ground below, and walk away at the approximate height of a manhole cover.

Is it my imagination, or do Looney Toons have much less of a good relationship with physics than Star Trek?

Gotta love people who honk their horn .1 second after the light turns green. So thoughtful of them to give a person so much time to take their foot off the brake and hit the accelerator.

*** Start of Rant ***

To the person who thoughtfully vouched for other drivers this morning with their horn. I appreciate your thoughtfulness... I really do. But, while you must know the people who were on our left, as you let me know with your horn that they weren't going to run their red light, in my years of experience driving, I have seen people do just that. Even people that I know, so I kinda like to verify that myself. Again, your thoughtfulness in vouching for others is a wonderful thing, but while driving, its probably a good thing to concentrate on yourself. Not others.

*** End of Rant ***

COVID19

Well, I just got word that one of my best friends died today.

A lot to deal with, but I’m glad that it’s only a see you later. He’s one of my best friends from church, and I know he has a heart of gold. Now he’s walking the streets of gold. I’m so looking forward to seeing him again.

So the other day, I had an ultrasound in a place where I have had a pain in my abdomen since I was 17 years old. At that starting point, it makes it well over thirty years that the pain has been on and off.

They did find one. There are a couple of problems I have here, however. I drove truck for many years, and I pulled double flatbeds. This means that I lifted 100 to 150 lb tarps onto the front and back of two trailers each day. Once, five feet to the deck,and once six to eight feet to the top of the load. How did I not aggravate the hernia?

The second problem is, the pain has moved to the other side. Instead of being on the right side, it's now on the left. Did the hernia move? In my understanding of hernias, this is not a usual occurrence. I hate to call my doctor, but I guess I'm going to have to, and tell her that it's now in a different location. If she tells me it's probably the hernia, I'm thinking I may need a different doctor.

So I spent a bit of time last night in the emergency room. At such times, my mind begins to wander... or is it wonder?

For example, What exactly is the Tooth Ferry for? Where does it cross. I thought there was a bridge there.

Do you leave positive or negative feedback when you purchase batteries online?

In Greek mythology, was Chiron known as the Centaur for Disease Control?

Is Irony truely the opposite of wrinkley?

I keep hearing all these "facts" about if you took all the blood vessels in your body and laid them end to end. The fact is: you would die.

Of course, being in the ER, I wondered if it would confuse my doctor if I put on rubber gloves at the same time he did.

Isn't line dancing also called a roadside sobriety test?

Is the reason they keep wanting people to get their animals "fixed" to cut down on littering?

Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards are backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

Is a six piece chicken dinner, six kernels of corn?

And last, but not least, is it strange that I get these thoughts when I go to the ER because of a seizure?

Saw my girl, Mya, laying on the floor. It's a lazy day for both of us. Nothing really happening, so she's laying on the hardwood floor.

I've tried getting her a bed to sleep on, as other of my dogs have had.

Aryssta, my other dog, is laying on the hardwood floor, under my dining room table. Both, when given a bed at approximately one year old, chewed it to shreds. My question, I suppose, is how can either stand to lay on a hard floor?

I know dogs do it all the time, and never complain - okay, my parent's greyhounds do, but they have no fat either. My dogs, on the other hand, are gluttons, and have lots of fat, and my husky (the one in the picture) has loads of hair. Maybe it cushions them?

I'm not sure, however. I have a lot more fat and it sure doesn't cushion me if I'm on the floor!

When I was a child, I didn't like spicy food. The nearest I can figure is I had wimpy taste buds. At about fifteen or so, I had some hot ribs, and I realized that the flavor was wonderful.

Now, being young and dumb, like a lot of fifteen years olds are, I thought that eating spicy food would make me more 'masculine'. All I can say to that, is it hasn't worked yet.

So now, in my fifties, I love the taste of jalapenos. Absolutely love them. The thing is, I like my food with a bit of kick. Generally, I use reaper chilies or ghost chilies for the kick, and jalapenos for the taste.

A few weeks ago, I was making some nachos (since I'm a diabetic, I make them with pork rinds instead of corn tortilla chips) and I accidently sprinkled the dry ghost chilies in the same manner I would something with less of a kick. Like salt, or pepper, or ketchup.

I realized after I put the ghost chilies down what I had done. Being so frugal a person that I could teach Ebenezer Scrooge a thing or two, I didn't want to waste my pork rinds, cheese, and salsa, so I decided I would eat it anyway.

I have often heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes when you die. That is not so. I didn't see anything about my birth or the first year and a half of my life, which is really too bad. I wanted to see Riverside California back then.

After I was revived, I vowed never to use that many ghost chilies on my food. There is one problem, however. Some of my pain receptors do not seem to have made it along with the rest of me. To have a kick in my food, I find I need a substantial amount more of hot stuff than I used to use. Not sprinkled liberally, but definitely not conservatively.

Interestingly, I need to use jalapenos more liberally than I used to, because I don't like the taste of ghost chilies. Only the kick. I want the jalapeno chilies to drown out the taste of the ghost, which makes my food hotter and hotter when I don't get it right the first time. Sigh Gotta get some more reapers. They taste much better.

There are times I think I should have been born with a much lighter hair color (before anyone gets up in arms, did I say blond?) rather than the bright red I had as a child. Yes, it darkened into a nice auburn when I was a teenager, and then went boring brown as I got older.

I mean, what kind of idiot eats ghost chili potato chips, then (even after washing hands and using alcohol wipes) checks blood sugar levels, then injects insulin?

Ow ow ow!

While I try not to hate people, I dislike the following type of person intensely, which is why this originally hit my facebook page a few years ago.
For those who know Spokane and the south hill, I was on 57th where Hatch Road comes up the hill and merges with it. A woman in a Subaru Outback came up the hill like a bat from Hades and got right on my backdoor.

I'm not someone who tolerates tailgaters well, so I flashed my brake lights at her. This induced her to hang her hand out of her window and show me 4 fingers, then 5, while shouting "It's 45 here!"

I like backseat driving just as much as I like tailgating, and the car behind me giving instructions that I hadn't asked for is taking it to the extreme. I did the only thing I could, and let off on the accelerator.

This didn't improve her mood any, and strangely, I believe it may have made her mad. I did look around at the neighborhood, and came to the conclusion that I was not about to drive in a residential area at 45 MPH in the morning when kids are on their way to school. Not only that, but if by some strange circumstance, the speed limit WAS 45, the person who determined that was an idiot. About that time, I passed a speed limit sign for the other direction, and looked at it in my left mirror.

I realize that the possibility exists that the speed limits on each side of the street are different, (as I was driving home tonight, I verified that they are the same) but I figured they wouldn't be. You know, she was right. I wasn't going the speed limit. It was with a certain amount of malicious glee that I hit my brake and slowed the 5 MPH to the speed limit (30mph). A moment later, she shot by me in the left turn lane and got caught at a red turn arrow as I sailed by her (at the speed limit -- my light was still green).

I decided to let bygones be bygones and gave her a cheery wave of good morning as I went by. I'm probably glad I didn't see her face at this point.

My parents love Greyhounds. They've had two wonderful girls for seven or so years. One is kind of skittish, and never raced. The other was a champion racer. Her name is Princess, short for Princess Leah (I know the spelling is wrong for the Star Wars character, but it's correct for her.) I looked up her stats on the internet after my parents adopted her, and they were impressive.

She broke a leg while racing one day, and was no longer of any use to her owner, and after her leg was pinned back together, she was sent to a greyhound rescue, and my parents got her.

Unfortunately, I just got word that Princess isn't doing very well, and they're afraid that she won't last much longer. I'm concerned about both my parents, and their other greyhound, Cindy. Those two dogs are so used to spending their time together, and Cindy is such a nervous girl, I'm not sure she can make it without her 'sister'.

We've been having fires all over in Washington State. Most of the state has unhealthy air at the moment. A couple of days ago, you could see nothing of Seattle from the Space Needle. Now it's reasonably clear.

However, I live on the other side of the state in Spokane. We are in a valley, and have no wind at the moment, and none is expected tomorrow either.

Schools are closed, and many businesses are as well.

About a week ago, a town south of us was 80% destroyed. What a mess, on top of COVID.

https://enviwa.ecology.wa.gov/home/text/421#Forecast

We are the only city in Washington where the air quality is considered hazardous.

I realized I haven't posted a blog entry for a bit.

While I was chatting with a friend (Malady) this morning, I was reminded of one of my favorite (least favorite at the time) instances while driving truck. I pulled a set of double flatbeds, which made my tractor, lead trailer, tongue, and pup 98' long. I had an adjustable tongue on the pup, which went from three feet to six feet, so the offtrack on the pup was considerably large, meaning that I had to swing REALLY wide with my tractor if I didn't want the pup in the ditch. I almost always pulled it with the tongue spread because it gave me a smoother ride in the cab, something very desirable as I didn't have air ride on either trailer, so the jerk from every bump they hit was very noticeable in the cab.

Anyway, one day, in 1995, I was in Seattle, very close to where the Kingdome stood I got directions from a place I was heading to load up something heading to Spokane, WA. I called the shipper to get directions, and the woman I was talking to told me to go NORTH to the viaduct. Well, I was north of it already, so I told her exactly where I was and asked her to verify. She insisted that I go north, so I figured, well, I don't live in Seattle, so maybe there's a viaduct I don't know about.

There wasn't.

It's important to note that I was south of Seattle's city center. I was SOUTH of it. Going NORTH put me IN the city center.

They were doing road construction.

They were down to one lane on most streets. I had the tongue spread on my pup. Hardly mattered though, because if I had closed it, I would still be 95' long.

While I was good at maneuvering my tractor and trailers, and even taught how to pull doubles, there is no physical way to turn from one very narrow lane to another very narrow lane with a vehicle that long.

Construction men were moving orange barrels (also known as Washingto State Flowers) for me while I called Miss Faulty Directions every name in the book, and then some! They must have wondered why some fool with a set of doubles ended up in downtown Seattle, while they were working on the roads. Well, nevermind working on the roads! That was just the icing on the cake!

Need I say that Miss Faulty Directions received an earful when I finally got to the shipper, where I was picking up 65,000 pounds of steel, to sit on my 40,000 pounds of tractor and trailers? Thank God I didn't end up in downtown Seattle loaded!

Actually, when I walked into the office, the first thing out of my mouth was, "Alright; who gave me directions?" That may not be an exact quote, but I don't talk like that anymore.

The receptionist, in a very quiet and careful voice asked, "Were they wrong?"

I explained what happened, and she said. "It wasn't me." She then pointed me in the direction I needed to go to express my opinion of Miss Faulty Directions, and to tell her there is only ONE viaduct in Seattle!

Thankfully, getting out of Seattle after loading was no problem at all, as the viaduct connected with Interstate 5, which half a mile north, connected with Interstate 90, where I would head straight to Spokane.

Anyway, I hope you are having a better day than I had that day, 25 years ago, in Downtown Seattle.

I can laugh at it now.

Ha.... Ha.... Ha...

No. I guess I can't. I think I'm scarred for life. (kidding)

One of the great things about insomnia is the time you have to think about stuff. I think about consequences a lot. For example, when I finally get enough sleep, and I feel guilty about staying in bed because it's now afternoon, I get up and reach for the light chain from my ceiling fan, and my body says, "Nope. You do that, I'm gonna dump you on the floor."

The problem with that is NOT the fear of a concussion. It's the fact that the dogs are there, and if I fall on them, they're gonna be worried, and they're gonna want to lick my face to make sure I'm alright, and I KNOW where their tongues have been!

See? Isn't insomnia fun?

Sorry for not getting The Arctic Fox Chapter 19 out at my normal time of Thursday night.

Last night, I had my grandson over, and he was getting into everything he possibly could. He's very cute, but likes to manipulate. Everytime I would get after him, he would hold out his arms and come to get a hug, which was not forthcoming.

Since taking care of him is a regular Thursday night thing to give my son and daughter-in-law some time off, I think I'd better plan on Tuesdays and Fridays for The Arctic Fox, rather than Monday and Thursday.

That is, if I can catch up a bit, otherwise it will have to go down to once a week.

Been having migraines off and on since Friday. This is not, in the least, fun.

Dark rooms and silence are my friends right now.

I woke up this morning with a beautiful case of the Martian Death Flu, as I unaffectionately call it.

It's the one where you feel every molecule that hits your body and alternately need a blanket, then feel like throwing your clothes across the room because you're too hot. Also, every muscle in your body feels like it's been overused for the last week and a half.

After some naproxen, I felt much better and could crawl out of bed, which was good. After 18 hours in bed, my back was calling me every name in the book, and some I'd never heard before.

One of my dogs apparently has a food allergy, so I've gotten her a different type of food.

She doesn't seem to like it. She has taken to trying to bury the bowl with her nose -- unless, I feed it to her by hand. Then, she is quite content to eat the stuff.

After was was apparently a current and nasty ailment, (at least I had every symptom) I am getting back to wakefulness, and will be writing more again.

However, I doubt people will see much of my writing for a little while. I'm working on 3 multi-chapter stories, and one 2nd part to a one off I wrote awhile back.

I kinda fell behind while I was sick, so I'd like to catch up a bit.

For those fans of Arctic Fox, the sequel is in the works. I'm also working on The Letters and To Head Home.

I just went through the drive-through at Jack in the Box, as I often do while dropping off my daughter somewhere. I decided to try their jalapeno cheese smothered tater tots. Alas, they didn't provide a plastic spoon to use, and my napkins got a workout. I was happy I hadn't just gotten a manicure!

As often happens, this got me thinking about other guilty pleasures with their own punishments. My wife and I used to joke that the McDLT was NOT a date meal, as you would be wearing your meal. I suppose that could make a date more interesting.... Anyway...

I LOVE jalapeno poppers and breaded mushrooms. Both have a consequence that happens whenever I eat them. The smell gets too overwhelming and i have to eat one immediately. The problem being that they're fresh out of the fryer, and that first morsel kills the enjoyment of the rest of my treat by burning inside my mouth.

So many little treats that have bad consequences, and here we are, coming into the time where I could have my beloved pecan pie... If it wasn't for high blood sugar.

I am thrilled that I was able to take part in The Dozen Roses. I am looking forward to seeing the hard work everyone out into it to fruition. Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who worked above and beyond, by putting the stories together by formatting and making the tales blend into a seamless get-together.

2 years ago, I had a benign tumor removed from my brain. The surgery went well, and the incision site has healed pretty well, although it still hurts at times. The tumor was squeezing my cerebrum on the left side of my head, causing what, for all intents and purposes, were short circuits in my brain. At times, my memory would completely disappear for several minutes. The partial brain seizures were frightening, and when I told people about them, even my doctor, I received the advice, just get your blood sugar under control.

It took a trip to the emergency room to get a CAT scan that finally showed what was wrong. To be fair, I was also experiencing intense anger at the time, and when I was told that my wife couldn't accompany me into an MRI, I couldn't face it because of claustrophobia and anger, several months before the ER trip.

The memory problems and the anger abated after the surgery, but I sometimes feel that removing the tumor was worse than it's presence. I now stutter, which I never did before. I forget things and can't even remember words. I am extremely clumsy now. I've probably broken more correlle (sp?) dishes in the last two years than I did in the 49 years before (I have a marble floor in my kitchen, and the dishes don't like falling on it.)

Worse yet, I used to be able to play 26 or so instruments. I've only tried 2 since the surgery, and find that my creativity is gone as far as music, and I can't even count out beats that I used to simply know. I used to compose music, and have even produced 2 albums that I distributed to my friends.

Thankfully, when writing, I have the ability to wait for the words to return (although my editor / beta reader sometimes comes up with some wonderfully mixed metaphors.)

Before the surgery, I was writing an HTML routine that would run on my personal server and figure my wife and my budget, complete with a routine that would predict the length of time to get out of debt. After the surgery, it was never finished. I suppose if I can't compose music, I can't write a HTML routine, although before I was proficient in several programming languages.

It was bad enough having both Tourette's Syndrome and Aspergers at the same time, but now adding the new problems in, and sometimes I feel completely worthless. I drove truck, school bus, fire trucks. I used to be a fire commissioner. My biggest problem was being autistic, I get bored with jobs and have to change frequently. Now, I'm home all the time because I'm unable to work except caring for two relatives, in my own home, at my own pace.

I know the useless feelings are my own depression raising its ugly head, and that I'm doing something useful, but that doesn't stop those feelings.

I have a letter from my neurologist forbidding me from driving for work because of the partial brain seizures. For most of my life, I've done driving jobs, and they just instituted a federal law stating that January 1st of this year, if you don't have a valid physical, you lose your commercial drivers license.

Throughout this, I've never once been tempted to end it all, but I'll tell ya. There are times I just want to walk away from everything and start a new life far away from this, but... Not much way to get rid of the problems I'm facing now.

Why am I writing this? Just having a bad day altogether. I guess I need some hugs? IDK. Maybe I just want to get it off my chest, figuratively. Maybe it's a warning. If something ever happens and you're having problems with your thinking processes, get it checked out immediately. Even if you're claustrophobic.

Just writing something about it like this helps. LOL. Just like talking to a therapist.

Anyway, I hope you all have a better day than I've had.

--Rosemary

Or snows here.

I found I have a herniated disk a while back and have been doing physical therapy for it. At the same time, I've been getting a pain in my left arm. Now having been a medic in the army at one time, and a certified nurse's assistant now, I know what a pain in my left arm can mean, but I was pretty sure that's not the problem.

I went to the doctor in June and found out that I've got a bone spur in my elbow. I had a steroid shot in it, and the pain diminished. It came back around Thanksgiving, and I finally got in to see the doctor on Friday. He showed me the spur on the ultrasound, and it is growing into a ligament. Ugh! I got another steroid shot, but he doesn't want to do a third. If the pain returns again, which I suspect is inevitable, I'm going to have to get some surgery.

But, on the good side, I should be able to type more now. Between the bone spur and the disk, I've been pretty much lazing around, watching Royal Institute science lectures, but with no pain in my arm now, hopefully, my muse will make an appearance.

I'm not sure whether to be happy or not. Okay... I'm happy, but I'm sad because the first book of The Arctic Fox is going to be coming down from BCTS, at least for awhile, as it is going to be moved to Kindle in the next few weeks.

I'm definitely happy about that.

Wow! I didn't know they were making invisible turn signals, but apparently, they are! Wow!

It seems every time I go for a drive, people are using invisible turn signals. What a cool invention!

Lately, I've had to classify many days as "bad". Yesterday, was a pleasant surprise.

I don't know why, but I actually slept most of the night, rather than only a small portion of it. So, I was actually able to get up at around 8:30, which is VERY early for me.

The first thing that happened after that was the new tablet which wasn't supposed to be here until the earliest the 11th, arrived on the 10th. While I was setting it up, everything was going great, then I saw I had a voicemail.

I checked it, and my hearing aid which had been out for warranty repairs came in. I've been without it for over a month now, so when it arrived, I was thrilled! I went to pick it up, and when I put it in, I could suddenly hear again! Not to mention, having it in helps my brain to filter out the tinnitus that I always have to deal with. Yes, it's still there, but it seems much quieter when I have my hearing aid.

I suspect that it has to do with the fact that I have a hard time hearing tones in the midrange (human vocal range), so when they're amplified, my brain is able to compensate easier, and the high pitches where my tinnitus is located can be turned down. My theory, for what it's worth.

All was going well, until my cat decided to knock my piano onto the keyboard while my hands were there.

Oh well. Such is life, I guess.

I'm sitting in a parking lot right now, waiting for my daughter to get done with an appointment. I'm sitting directly across from the door, so I can see when she comes out.

A little bit ago, someone walked out with tattoos all over his face. Now if someone wants a tattoo or two, thats fine. They're an expression of ... diversity, I guess, but as you can tell, I don't have one. Were I to transition, I might do eyeliner. That's about as far as I'd go, however.

This guy, however, had so many tattoos on his face, that my first thought as he exited the building was, ''What the heck is a Borg doing here?"

Oh well. He wasn't spouting off about resistance and futility, so I guess he was separated from the collective.

Well. Over the weekend, I found that my cousin, who I take care of, had a sore on his toes.

He's had problems with this foot for as long as I've taken care of him, and he's lost 2 of the toes because of frostbite and diabetes.

Thankfully, he has no feeling in that foot, but it's a problem as well. He's developmentally disabled, and thinks, since his foot doesn't hurt, it's fine. He also has no comprehension of sweets being bad for him, and it's always been a problem keeping his glucose level down.

Well, things have come to a head, and monday morning, the last three toes will be amputated. Since I care for him, I keep thinking, is there anything I could have done differently, but I know there's not.

Still, it's hard not to be second guessing myself.

This morning I had to get up at the unholy time of 4:30. I packed up my cousin and took him to the hospital. 6 hours later we were home.

The doctor said, even with toes freshly amputated, he can walk as much as he can bear.

We'll see how things look Friday at the checkup. Just praying that it goes well this week and he doesn't overdo it. He has no feeling in the foot, so no way to know if he's pressing too far, and I'm not to change the dressing.

The 30th will mark the second anniversary of actually allowing someone to crack open my skull to remove a meningioma from my brain. I suppose the benefits of it being gone outweigh the problems I had before it was removed, but there are times it's hard to see how.

I used to sit down and compose music with no trouble, but now, I find that the creativity just isn't there. I can orchestrate a pre-existing piece, certainly, but to make something new doesn't seem possible.

There are times that I have to bite my tongue to resist telling someone to find a high cliff and take a running leap, but it's not because of anger like it was before the surgery. Now, it's more from depression. Music was such a massive part of my life, and to find it all but gone is hard to deal with. It's as if a part of me has been excised, and I feel like crying constantly.

I've sat down and tried to MAKE myself compose something, but I don't seem to get past the first few bars.

Maybe it's too soon. 2 years seems to be a bit of time, but I suppose it takes a while for the brain to rewire itself when it's been hurt so much. After all, I'm still tired all the time, so maybe the healing just isn't done, and it's taking all my energy.

I just finished a chapter and had gotten up to lock my kitchen (my cousin will raid it if I don't), and my wife asked me to help her out. She's got a migraine so bad that we ended up in the ER. She's never had a migraine before, so seemed like the most prudent move. Now I'm sitting in an overheated room and waiting.

Quick update the doc just came in, so giving Norma a few meds.

I'm posting this under pets, but I'm really not sure if Mya counts as a pet... She's definitely a fur child.

I've touched her ear and had her whimper a couple of times, but I thought shed stop, then she did again this morning, so I took her to the vet and had her ear checked out. Sure enough, there was an ear infection, so she's on an antibiotic and some ear drops.

I was a bit concerned about giving her a pill. This is the first time with Mya, but I wrapped it in a piece of bologna, and it was gone. Not only did she not taste the pill, but I'm not certain she tasted the bologna.

I'm very thankful that this was all that it was. I can't even begin to imagine life without her. She's too sweet a girl.

I was sitting down to write this morning, and I realized that today is the "birthday" of Marcia Chatham, the "Arctic Fox". Of course, that also means that tomorrow is the one year mark from her biological mother's death (which for some weird reason, I put on my wife and my REAL anniversary. Go figure.)

Fun early morning. About 2:30 this AM, as I was trying to get to sleep, I was disturbed (I'm always disturbed, but this time, it was more than just my imagination that did it) by squealing tires, a crashing sound, and a thud so hard, it shook my house.

I hurriedly threw on some jeans and a t-shirt, and ran outside. I found a crowd already surrounding an overturned car in my neighbor's driveway. My son and daughter had hurried out as well, and my son said he saw the driver walking down the street when he hurried outside.

Police finally found the driver (drunk, of course) and hauled him off to jail. I'm guessing to fly and flip as far as he did, he must have been going in excess of 60MPH on our 30MPH street.

Well... Should be another year till the next early morning excitement (I hope!)

I had noticed that this date was coming up at the beginning of May, but with 1,001 different things happening this week, I hadn't realized that it was upon us. May 18th 2021 marks the 41st anniversary of the eruption in Washington State of Mount Saint Helens.

This is something that I've always been fascinated with. I love studying geology, and I find it interesting, the amount of devastation that can occur from the eruption of a single volcano.

When Mt. St. Helens blew, I was in Albuquerque NM, and didn't have to deal with the ash that fell in Eastern Washington, where I had been born, and have lived for most of the last 41 years.

It seems that when you live near something like the mountain, you never end up going there to see it. I've never been to the national monument, but I would love to see it. I've seen the mountain from a distance, however. I salute those who rescued people from the mudflows and remains of the pyroclastic flows from the eruption.

I look at what seems to be happening all over the world today, and especially in Iceland. While the volcano there is not explosive like St. Helens was, lava is a respecter of no substance. If it wants to go somewhere, it does. I hope and pray that they can stop the lava before it devastates the area.

I guess, just for the fun of it, I'll post a rant that I made 6 years ago on Faceplant -- I mean Facebook.

I fully admit, this was in a fluff article, but still -- quite a dumb thing.

Wow. This morning, while doing my normal perusal of what has been going on in the world by the renowned news source, Facebook, I came across an article that piqued my curiosity. It was entitled, "37 celebrities who died and you didn't notice" or something like that. While I was surprised by a few on the list because somehow their death had escaped my notice (Harold Ramis, Wendy Jo Sperber) I have to call the author on a couple. I am certain that the fans of Laura Branigan's music noticed her death. Such a tragedy that one so talented died so young. I am not terribly fond of her music, but I recognize the talent that she had. I have to revise this statement. I've since listened to more of her music, and I've grown quite fond of it.

What really bothers me, however, is that the author of this article would have me believe that no one noticed the death of Leonard Nimoy. Really? No one noticed that Spock died? You've got to be kidding me. Where were you? Partying on Risa when he died? Burying your head in the sand of Nimbus III?

More likely, you were fighting a Wampa on Hoth, or watching a pod race on Tatooine.

Maybe you have a Goa'uld symbiote or something, but I think I speak for the millions of Trekkers out there who say, "People noticed when Leonard Nimoy died."

As to why I do not post a link to the article here, I say, "Why post a link to such drivel on my page? If you really want to read it, you can look it up for yourself."

Well, that was a relief!

I recently had an MRI (that's not the relief! I HATE those things!). They wanted to see if there's anything in my head. Wait a minute... That didn't come out right!

Anyway. It's a bit over 2 years since I had the surgery removing the meningioma (which was a benign tumor), and it shows no sign of growing now. YAY!

I really don't want to have any more growth, for obvious reasons, but also because the tumor was growing near my left eye, and using a gamma knife wasn't really an option, as it could do permanent damage to the nerve. Now, the tumor would be considerably smaller, but still relatively close to the optic nerve, and they would use the gamma knife to stop it from growing now. I'm sure the doctor is skilled, but I really don't like the idea of that radiation near my eye.

Not to mention, It seems to me that Doctor Banner gave himself a large amount of gamma radiation, and he became the Hulk. Noone likes me when I'm angry already!

Happy Independence Day to all my American Friends. Happy belated Canada Day to my Canadian Friends!

Hope your day is wonderful!

And Have a wonderful Sunday to all my non-American friends!

I was just finishing my games of scrabble with my parents and sister at around 3:30 this morning, when I saw a notification come through my phone saying my mom was in the ER with my dad because he had chest pain. I talked to Mom for a bit, then spent the rest of the night sleepless. Finally got to a very fitful sleep about 6:30 AM.

The hospital says it's something serious with his heart, but not a heart attack.

So now, I'm sitting 1300 miles north of them, feeling about as useful as a screendoor on a submarine, wondering what the heck is going on. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

So I finished the blog entry on my Dad and his heart this morning, and I leaned back in my office chair. I guess I must have, somehow, entered unknowingly into a wager saying the day couldn't be worse. Thus, my office chair decided it no longer liked me, so it leaned all the way back, depositing me in a rather undignified manner onto the floor behind it.

Now I will say I try not to indulge myself in unnecessary expletives, but I have to admit this was not one of the times of admirable restraint. After my head hit the hardwood -- did I tell you I've got gorgeous hardwood floors all through my home, except in my office, where they're slate -- floor, and my back flexed against the chair back, much of my restraint had been used up. Thankfully, this happened at my piano, and not in my office!

I'm not sure how long I sat in such a ridiculous manner, but as it quickly became apparent that my outraged scream had not, in fact, notified the neighbors of a wampa being eaten by a rancor next door, and no one was on their way to help extricate me from my peril, I decided the only thing to do, was to remove myself from the crazy situation I found myself in. Provided everything still worked, that is.

Everything did work, although I wasn't certain it was still within manufacturers' specs. Every movement of my vertebrae was uncharacteristically accompanied by a strange grinding feeling and an even more disturbing sepulchral moaning.

The ER people say everything is fine, though we seem to disagree on the basic idea of what "fine" is. Apparently, their idea is that I'm not going to die within 30 seconds. I tried to point out that the difference between 30 and 31 wasn't enough to completely change the diagnosis from "at deaths door" to "fine", but they wouldn't hear it.

Anyway... I'm gonna see if I can fall asleep with the constant sepulchral moaning still resonating throughout the county.

Wish I could figure out where that's coming from....

So how was your day?

I was working on a couple of stories, hoping to get ahead on them, and my muse decided to shift gears and change direction on me. It seemed as though she doesn't know how to use a clutch or speed shift very well either, It was a very jerky shift as she downshifted so we could make a sharp turn. I'm trying to keep her from accelerating, but it seems like it may be a hopeless cause. I'm hoping we come to a crossroad that will take us back to our original highway.

The Arctic Fox Book 3 has it's outline almost finished, and has been gnawing at the back of my mind, and finally pushed its way through to the forefront today as I had to write Chapter 1 in full prose.

Maybe this will satisfy the muse for a little bit and allow me to get back to the other two stories, but I'm not so sure. Once the muse is allowed to have her way, all bets are off... sigh.

I find it fascinating how much people get messed up, and then report it as the truth.

I got an email about "watching out for public records being released, and what they may say about you." So, just for kicks, I looked myself up online to see what it says.

The result? Whitepages isn't making a good impression with me They have 2 wrong aliases and 3 incorrect places I used to live. "Uh.... No, I don't think I really want to pay for your services. You don't seem to know much about your 'subjects'."

The sad thing is, for the free info that they put out to draw people in, they're so blatantly wrong, one has to wonder what other incorrect info people pay are paying money to get.

I posted a chapter on three of my stories today, and I realized belatedly that I put a bit of a cliffhanger at the end of each one. Whoops!

But, I suppose, that's the reason for the end of a chapter. Or the end of a chapter is for a cliffhanger.

I've decided that I'm gonna try to publish a chapter for each of these three stories each Saturday. It seems to be the beat time for me to do it. I'm hoping that I don't mix the stories as I'm writing, though. If Amos is suddenly paired up with Greg fighting whatever it is, or Foxy suddenly has developed some nasty nanites, you'll know I messed up.

We'll see how the muse muses. Maybe Foxy should develop nanites. Might go against her grain though.

Lots happened this last week. My two favorite uncles were named Tom. My dad's brother Tom, died about 6 or 7 years ago, and I miss him a lot. This last week, my dad's brother-in-law, also named Tom, died after a long time of struggling with his back and other things.

My dad also lost another sister, who I don't remember ever meeting, but then Dad found out he has a blockage in the back of his heart and will need it removed. sigh.

Well, for those of you following The Arctic Fox, or any of my other stories, it's going to be kinda slow getting the chapters up for a bit. This is a rather busy time of year for me, although COVID has slowed things down from how it usually is.

Anyway, please bear with me. The chapters will be posted. Just might take a bit more time.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

Well, this has been an interesting couple of months!

Of course, at the end of November, we had Thanksgiving in the US. This was not unexpected, nor was the sudden explosion of colorful, twinkling lights in the Spokane, Washington area following the holiday. In fact, it was rather pleasant.

Then, there was an explosion of Hallmark Christmas Specials, where you simply watch the exact same, made-for-TV movie, starring either Kevin Sorbo or Candace Cameron, with the slight variations which personalize it to your taste. (No, I'm not mocking them. Actually, I like Kevin Sorbo and Candace Cameron. )

There was the obligatory Christmas Eve feast with the kids (so they could spend the next day with their in-laws) and the wincing as grandchildren became loud enough to hear two states away (3 back east), but then on the 28th of December, my daughter-in-law gave birth to a little boy, our 6th grandchild!

We have yet to see him because of the recent snowfall and sickness, but we're hoping to see him this Saturday. If I can shake off this cold I've been fighting.

And, three days ago, my Dad was admitted into the hospital for confusion and forgetfulness. Thankfully, that didn't turn out to be a stroke or anything, and he's supposed to be released today. Yay!

Loads of things happening.

And now for my rant. I haven't had a good rant for a few months, so I think it's high time.

I'm getting very tired of receiving calls from people who decide, from looking at property values, that I'm someone likely to want to sell my home. Really??? In what universe? Since property values have ALL gone up, how am I supposed to buy another one if I sell mine? There's no way to make any money by buying one at a lower value when nothing is AT a lower value. The housing market is NOT the stock market, people! I can sell Tesla stock and wait while it drops, then buy again. I can't wait till the housing market drops before purchasing another home. I kinda need a place to live.

Anyway...

End of Rant

And how was your Christmas season?

It's amazing, interesting... idk. Strange, anyway, when you realize that something you haven't thought of since you were much younger... something that happened when you were about 5 years old, has had a profound effect on your personality almost 50 years later (48, but who's counting?).

I've discovered that something that was done to me when I was a child has affected me more than I ever thought... leaving some profound trauma in its wake.

The question becomes, do I bring this into the light, or do I hide it away to protect others whose lives would be affected horribly by the revelation? I think I must do the latter. I believe I'm strong enough to deal with this by not hurting others, while they are much older and not in the greatest health.

Thankfully, my therapist understands my decision, and is able to help me work through it without hurting those who don't deserve to be hurt.

I know I'm not saying much, but I really don't think I need to. I've known that there is ptsd that I'm dealing with for a long time, but where it came from, I wasn't sure. Now I am, and I believe that knowledge gives me some strength in dealing with it.

Saturday morning, Norma and I were woke up by one of our sons knocking on our door and saying there was water pouring into his room. His room is directly below our en-suite bathroom, and as i ascended from sleep, I heard water spraying. We wondered if someone was showering in the main bathroom (right beside ours) and the answer was no. I opened the door to our bathroom to find water running across the floor. A fitting underneath the sink had broke during the night, and water was spraying all over under the sink.

Perhaps my hands were too quickly numb (It was the cold water hose spraying), but i couldn't turn the valve to shut it off. I hurried downstairs while Norma directed the spray into a garbage can. In retrospect, I should have kinked the hose, but in my haste, I wasn't thinking of that. I shut off water to the house, disconnected the tap, then hurried to Home Depot, which should probably have a monument to me, labelled, "Our Founder" from all the money I've spent there over the years.

A little while later, I was able to restore water to the house, but now we're dealing with insurance to get them to pay. It should be covered, thankfully, after we pay our deductible. It could well be several thousand dollars for repairs.

Well! I've said some things about what's been happening, but it's been moving so quickly I'm really not sure of it all myself!

We've had a few last gasps of a dying winter here in the Pacific Northwest, but during the last few convulsions, I was in Phoenix, spending time with my parents and my sister, and ended up with a sunburn. Ah, the feeling of freezing while the top layer of epidermis peels off your arms and shoulders. Such bliss!

Now, I'm sitting in the formal dining room of a six bedroom house, typing this, while my insurance company is removing all of the items in my own home so they can repaint and get rid of the smell of smoke.

To put this in context, we had an air pressure fluke while using our fireplace about a month ago. Somehow, the pressure was high enough outside the house that it forced air down the chimney and pushed the smoke out into our house. I'm not sure HOW this happened. I've seen lots of chimney fires from my time as a firefighter, but never anything quite like this. After the incident, we had a chimney service person come over to fix things, and he literally looked at it and asked what we wanted him to fix! Everything was fine. I've burnt things in the fireplace many times since then, and there's been no problem.

And for this fluke air pressure thing, our insurance is paying around $50G for repainting, deoderizing, and an AirBnB for my family. And about a thousand dollars for our pets to be put up during the three weeks it's taking to do all of these things. Go figure.

That on top of our broken water pipe that resulted in my rebuilding my master bathroom, and my son's bedroom below it. LOL.

Now the master bathroom story... That's another fun thing.

Before I went to Arizona, I was busy rebuilding my bathroom. Refloored it, installed a new vanity, sink, toilet, and was waiting on a new shower. Well, I went to Arizona, and my special ordered shower was supposed to be in when I got back. Box 1 and 3 were at Home Depot. Box 2 (the base) wasn't there. Currently, Home Depot is supposed to be figuring out how I'm supposed to install the walls and doors of the shower without a base.

What was even more fun was while I was in Arizona, staying at my sister's house, her toilet went out. Now, when I was in college, studying for the ministry, I worked in hardware with plumbing as my specialty. Later, while a minister, I worked at a building supply center with paint and plumbing as my specialty. (those volunteer ministerial positions don't pay very well). LOL! I fixed my sister's toilet for her.

Also while in Arizona, some new floor tiles came in for my parents. I installed them while on my vacation in Arizona, in my parent's (wait for it) ... bathroom.

Such a fun time. Literally! I enjoy helping people. and to be able to do that for my family while I was visiting really helped me feel better about myself.

I always get a kick out of the May the 4th deal.

Norma and I were married May 4th, 1991 in BC, Canada, long before May 4th became a Star Wars thing. LOL. So, for those who don't like math, today is our 31st anniversary. LOL!

So a nice day to celebrate, although tomorrow, our eldest son is moving halfway across the country from us. He and his wife are moving to be near her elder sister, and I can tell you -- it was tough saying goodbye last night when we saw them. They have a little boy who was born right after Christmas last year, so neither Norma nor I wanted to let the little guy go. Or the baby.

Then, Friday, we get to move back to our own house and leave the mansion behind. Sigh. It's been fun living in a 2M dollar AirBnB for the last couple of weeks, but it's time to kick off the glass slippers I guess. Once home, we've got to unpack our possessions. Everything was removed and cleaned of smoke damage. Several things were disposed of. I guess all of our pillows were thrown out, and the drapes in our living room that were near the fireplace.

While the house was empty, I took the opportunity on the repair crew's day off to sand the hardwood floors and I resurfaced them the next day off. So once the ozone machines are done tomorrow night, we'll have resurfaced floors to welcome us!

Then, I have to start working on the rest of the drywalling I have to do. Ugh!

May the 4th be with you!!!

Well, a little while back, I went to get an MRI on my brain. The site of the tumor I had removed about 3 years ago.

Talked to my neurosurgeon yesterday, and there's no new growth of the remain of the tumor. Just a little bit of thickening in the dura (the membrane that surrounds the brain) where the tumor was.

I hate having to get an MRI. A cat scan is fine, but the tube you go into in an MRI is so stinking tiny! Ugh!

So I updated the chapter in question, here on BCTS.

I just realized, however, that the evidence in question wasn't discussed. At least not out loud. Bill and Sylvia had copied everything they had found and presumably highlighted certain sections.

Interestingly, one of the two in the office revealed something unexpected to me while I was writing the update, forcing me to update the next chapter as well. Sigh. This is what I get for letting my characters have a certain amount of autonomy, I suppose.

I haven't been on BCTS for awhile. We recently found out that my Dad has cancer. It's developed into stage 4, which is not a good thing. Really need prayers and hugs.

So last night, at 10:55PM, while I was holding my Dad's hand, he passed away. He had been gasping for breath all day. I arrived from Spokane at about 5. Mom tells me she thinks he was waiting for me to arrive before he stopped fighting.

I sobbed several times as I talked to him. He wasn't responsive in a normal way, but as I spoke, his breathing became easier.

My mom, aunt, and sister were exhausted, as they'd been there round the clock, so mom and Sherry (my sister) dozed off, and I held Dad's hand, and stroked his head, so he knew I was there. His breathing settled down, until he stopped, and I couldn't find a heartbeat.

I haven't cried since he died, but writing this, coming close.

I spent all day working with Sherry on paperwork and preparing the stuff for the national cemetery in Scottsdale. He was a 20 year veteran in the USAF. This is hard, but he died completely peacefully.

It's Thanksgiving in the US, and still 5 AM in the Northwest, so I'm laying in bed, thinking of all I have to be thankful for.

So many things are good! Even when things look bleak, I find that when I turn them around and examine them from all angles there's something good there. Even the death of my dad earlier this year got my sister and me working together, something we hadn't done for a long time.

I haven't been able to work on my stories the way I'd like, but when I asked myself why I'd like to have more time, the answer is I'm thankful for all the talent displayed by the people here and my stories are a way to reciprocate! You have all shared so much about your struggles, your feelings, your thrills, your thoughts ... It just goes on and on!

Sometimes I feel that people just don't understand me, and frankly don't want to, but I know that so many of you do! You tell me in your writing!

You give voice to so much I want to scream at people, at least once every day, as I struggle with people that I love and respect, but don't have the strength to confront.

So many times when I get overwhelmed by PTSD triggers coming from a lifetime of gaslighting and people taking great pleasure in "proving me wrong", you are a reminder that those people are often the ones who are wrong.

Happy Thanksgiving, you all! And remember, I'm thankful for all of you!

Sorry I haven't been producing any chapters right now.

We've had a lot of cold, snowy weather in Eastern Washington lately. As a result, my thumb with an old bullet would has been aggravated as well as my back, keeping me from doing much on a computer or a piano.

I hate arthritis!

I promise the moment I can type proficiently again, I will be doing so.

I know I've already posted on my Dad, but these are some different thoughts on the topic.

I went to Phoenix (the Arizona one) August 29th. My Dad was unconscious when I got there. I talked to him and he seemed to respond. 5 hours after I got there, he died. My mom and sister had finally gone to sleep, and my aunt (Dad's sister) was resting. I was holding Dad's hand and stroking his hair as he passed away.

I handled the cremation arrangements, while my sister did the financial stuff. My sister and I went to the crematorium. No one else. Seeing the box with his name on it, knowing his body was inside, made it all real to me. Sherry started the belt that moved his body into the furnace.

Dad was a veteran and his ashes are now in the memorial cemetery in Arizona. I wasn't able to be there for the ceremony, but my nephew recorded it and sent me a copy of it. The flag for Mom, the gun salute. Taps... I'm a trumpet player, and I've played Taps many times, but hearing it played for my dad... That was incredibly hard.

I couldn't stop crying through the whole ceremony. I know it will get easier, but right now, it's so unreal. I occasionally think there's someone I need to tell about all this, then realize the person I feel I need to tell is Dad. Sigh.

Late in 2022, I started to get pain in my hands. I went and had an x-ray done, and there was some arthritis forming. Well, at my age, that's kinda normal, so I wasn't REALLY worried about it.

The problem was, the pain in one of my thumbs got worse and worse. Unfortunately, it's the thumb that supports my trumpet when I play, and it's used in the piano quite a bit, as well as guitar, accordian, you name it. It's used. I don't play guitar very much, but I do need my left thumb to help me grip the neck when I'm making a chord, or even when playing the bass guitar.

Seeing as how I majored in music in college, you can see how this is a concern.

Well, my doctor told me he could try a shot to relax the tendon and get things to release (the thumb is triggering and it's very, very painful going through the 'stop'). The problem there is, I'm a very insulin-resistant diabetic. I have to take a LOT of insulin to control things. If it gets worse, I'm going to have to go onto a concentrated insulin. Steroid shots mess with blood glucose levels. Not good for a diabetic. Therefore it's time for surgery. Yay!!!! (not!)

Anyway, this is why I've been gone for awhile as far as posting things. The left thumb isn't part of typing, but keeping it out of the way while I type gets painful. I'm using a splint now which helps a lot, so I think I'll be able to post now. Maybe not as often as I would like, but it should be able to be done.

Anyway... See ya!

Rose

To all my friends and family on this site, Happy Easter! Ressurection Sunday!

I know many of us don't celebrate the ressurection of Christ. Many of us don't believe in Him. I don't intend this blog post to offend anyone, so l hope you don't take it as offensive. My beliefs are such that I do believe, and I know some here believe as well. To those of us who believe its a celebration, I want to celebrate with you!

God bless!

As I said in my blog before, I have some lovely pain in my left hand. Needless to say, this makes it tough to type. Of course, the left thumb isn't used in 10 key typing, but the pain likes to remind me that it's them anyway.

I've discovered a good way to write regardless. I'm using a stylus on my tablet. Quite literally the latest chapters of Arctic Fox and the Letters are handwritten. It's really not much slower than typing. And wonderfully, the tablet usually can read my writing. As a matter of fact, I don't have the general problem of my drunk spell checker!

I'm having surgery on my thumb next Friday. I need to ask the doctor if I'll be able to play the bagpipes afterward. He always wanted to learn the bagpipes, if only to annoy my kids. Of course now I would be my Grandkids, but hey...

Regarding Arctic Fox 3, Marcia and Darryl are supposed to get married in 2 weeks, story time. Real time, I'm setting surgery, but I'm hoping to get that part of the story out before I can't hold my tablet for a bit.

So, stay tuned! For those following the Arctic Fox stories, keep reading!

My surgery on my hand in supposed to be this Friday. I had to get a Covid test today. I've had a sore throat this week. Lovely.

Those who believe, please pray I can get the surgery. I'd love for the pain to be done.

I've been away for a bit. I was scheduled to have surgery on my hand, and was coughing the day before the surgery was to happen. They didn't want to put me under (I can handle other people's blood, but not my own) when I was coughing, so put off my surgery. Within two weeks, my hand had almost gone back to normal. Now, I can only feel the problem if I bend my thumb all the way. Yay! Hallelujah!

So anyway, in my time off from writing, I had an idea. I've been going through all of the Cat Who books by Lillian Jackson-Braun. I love this series, and started out with "The Cat Who Blew the Whistle", about twenty-five years ago. I found out my Mom had the first 6 books shortly after that and have collected them all now.

Something really struck me during one of the books, and I'd love to expand on an idea I had, so if people would be interested in reading what I come up with, I'd love to know.

There isn't any working title yet, except for Cat Who on my hard drive. The outline is almost done. Now just to flesh it out. LOL. Let me know!

This is interesting. Next Saturday is the fictional date of Darry and Marcia's wedding in book 3, and AF 2 is scheduled to come out on Kindle just about now. what a nice wedding present for the two.

So I was having some pain in a tooth that was damaged many years ago by a 2x4 and a truck axel. I went on vacation the beginning of April, and while on vacation, I started having more and more pain, and even started getting daily headaches. To make a long story short, I had an abscess in the gum, and the infection was causing bone loss. Now, I've got a nice 2 tooth gap in my mouth, and I keep sing "all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth."

In about 2 weeks, they'll be making a mold of my mouth and then a partial. I like to start out things with a bang. Never had a cavity, and now I need some dentures. In the same way, my first surgery was brain surgery. Yeah. Loads of fun.

At least the headaches are diminishing as the antibiotics are working.

I've been away for a little while, but like a bad penny, I'm back. LOL.

I've been trying to work through some burnout with my work. As many of you know, my job is as a certified nurse's assistant, and I take care of two people in my own home. As a result, I don't get to go home after work, nor do I get weekends. The only time I can get away from work is if I take off from home and let someone else take care of them. Thankfully, Norma, my wife, is a homecare aid, so she's able to care for them, and two of my kids who live nearby are as well, so I do sometimes get away.

I'm not completely back to where I should be, but I'm able to write again.

It's been a long four months. I had to have two teeth removed because an abscess had formed above one. I've since gotten a partial for them, and it's been a learning curve talking with them as well as eating with them. Right now I want to find whoever thought Elmers Glue was a good taste for denture adhesive and throw things at them!

One good thing is I had my 5 year MRI after my surgery, and the remains of the meningioma squeezing my brain hasn't grown any. YAY!

Anyway... Be looking for the next chapter of Arctic Fox. It should be coming out in about a week.

So a little while ago, I decided to do some AI work on the characters of The Arctic Fox. Specifically, Arctic Fox 3, but of course, some of the characters are in the other books as well. Having pictures of the characters allows me to keep a picture of the in my mind so any descriptions of them are consistent.

Since I had the pictures available, I decided to put them in a blog, so if anyone wants a reference to what the people look like when you’re reading the stories, you have it.

Darryl and Marcia, standing in front of his 1973 Mustang
	Chet and Mage with his 1963 Mercury M100 pickup
Lt. Colonel Mike Chatham USAF Marcia and Chet's dad
	Gloria Chatham Marcia and Chet's mom
Colonel Robert Johnson, USAF Mage and Darryl's dad
	Liz Johnson Mage and Darryl's mom
Heather (Goldman) Johnson The new sister of Mage and Darryl
	Judge William Matthews Recently appointed Attorney General of Alaska
Sylvia Matthews Baliff in Judge Matthews court, and his wife
	Trish Anderson Marcia's best friend
Brad Jenkins Mage's boyfriend before Chet
	Bruce Huff
Ron Fraiser Bruce's brother
	Melissa Fraiser Ron's wife and former police chief of Palmer. While the book doesn't specify it, she's Native Alaskan
Gregory French FBI agent assigned to the murder of Lisa Huff
	Brandy Coleridge FBI agent, Rather unpleasant partner of French, and current pleasant partner of French
Stephen Winters Bruce's right hand man on the farm
	Boris Borisyuk One of the workers on the farm
Wanda Gregory Real Estate Agent who found the houses for the Chatham and Johnson parents and Getting close to Bruce Huff

So that's what I have right now. I'll probably add Chet and Mage's kids and the brother and sister of Chet and Marcia before too long.

I hope this makes the story easier to visualize.

Rose