Prologue Michael's Point of View (POV)

I was sitting in my alleyway feeling sorry for myself. Despite these negative thoughts that I just couldn't push away, I was still very aware of my surroundings. When you have been a war zone, some part of you never quite believes that you have left. Surprises had made me react instinctively and violently which is why I was in this alleyway and away from anyone I could hurt accidentally.

Standing in front of me was a young girl, wearing jeans and a denim jacket with a backpack on her shoulders and a violin case poking out of it. I could have sworn that she had just appeared out of nowhere. There was no way that I would have missed anyone walking towards me, but there she was looking at me with warmth and compassion.

I looked around just checking that there was no one else.

“I need your help,” she said to me gently.

My first reaction was an immediate fear and loathing. Fear that she was close to me, a monster, and that I would hurt her and loathing towards myself. She frowned at me and I felt a sense of peace wash over me.

“You are a good man,” she said decisively.

“No, I am not. You need to leave me alone,” I said. Part of me wanted to shout that to her and drive her away, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that to a young girl, especially while I was enjoying this strange sense of peace. It wasn't my peace, it was hers and she was somehow sharing it with me.

“You cannot lie to me and I cannot lie to you. I have touched your soul and I know you are a good man. I need your help,” she repeated.

She was right though. As soon as she had appeared I had felt some weird connection to her and I knew that everything she said, she believed.

“What do you need me to do?” I asked. I could see that she was stubborn and wouldn't leave me alone until I had done what she wanted, so the only solution was to help her and get it over with.

“First we need to get you cleaned up. I have some cash, do you know a cheap hotel where we can stay for the night?” she asked.

“Where are your parents?” I looked around again, checking. No girl her age should be on her own. It was dangerous.

“I am travelling to the mother of my heart and that is why I need your help,” she answered.

That didn't explain why she didn't have anyone with her but suggested that she was on her own and that meant I had to help her. I levered myself up and stretched out my kinks.

“I know a place, but it will cost fifty dollars for the night, do you have enough?” I asked.

She nodded so I led her to a backpackers that I knew. We organised a room and then went out to get some shampoo and a razor. She even took me to a charity shop for some new clothes. When I had cleaned myself up we went out again, first to a barber for a haircut and then to a restaurant for some food. She had given me two hundred dollars that I used to pay for everything.

While she was directing me and getting me to do what she wanted, the peace that had felt artificial slowly became a part of me. It was like she was healing me on a soul level. Initially, I didn't want to leave her presence, worried that my fear and loathing would come rushing back, but as the peace continued, I started hoping that it was a permanent change.

As I started to feel more like the old me, the one who I was before I went to war, I also felt more mentally present. My vague curiosity about this girl was turning into a more responsible adult demand to know. She promised to tell me, but first, she wanted to practise with her violin. We walked to a park, she pulled out her violin, spent a few seconds tuning it and then started playing this haunting music. The peace that I had been feeling left me as I felt this wave of sadness. I listened, tears running down my face. My life changed as I listened to this angel, who had pulled me out of my depression. It was a cleansing sadness that pulled me so low that I rebounded with a determination to get my life together again.

“What have you done to me?” I mumbled to her when she had finished.

She smiled sadly. “I have healed your soul,” she admitted.

“How can you heal someone's soul?” I asked. I didn't disbelieve her or question that I had a damaged soul.

She sighed. We sat at the bench she was playing in front of.

“It's a long story,” she warned.

I just looked at her, willing her to continue.

“You probably won't believe me,” she added quietly.

“You can't lie to me, just as I can't lie to you,” I said with a smile, repeating her words.

She turned to face towards me, so I turned a bit as well. She looked me in the eyes. “About six months ago, I was a passenger in a car when the driver, my violin teacher, had a heart attack. The car swerved off the road and hit a tree.” She clutched my hands in remembered pain. “I died,” she said softly.

Chapter 1 Eric's POV

It happened so quickly that I didn't have a chance to do more than glance at Graham in surprise as the car headed off the road at speed. Graham's eyes were closed and his hand was clutching his chest. I looked out the front to see a big tree rapidly approaching and then blackness. I don't remember the actual collision, just confusion, overwhelming pain and then nothing.

I had an opportunity to go somewhere else, somewhere that was full of love and acceptance, but I sensed that my body wasn't quite dead and I knew my mother and my sister needed me, so I resisted the pull stubbornly.

The next part of my life was a very strange existence. I was deprived of all my senses, and I know that sounds horrible, possibly even mentally damaging, but my emotions remained calm and if anything, curious. I presumed I was in some kind of coma and was just waiting for my body to heal so that I could wake up.

Time has very little meaning when you can't sense anything, so I don' know how long I was in that state, but I know I got bored very early on and tried to listen. I wasn't listening for a sound necessarily, just any type of input at all.

Finally, my efforts were rewarded and I started to sense emotion. I was pretty sure it wasn't my emotion because I had no reason to feel overwhelming terror, followed by shame and humiliation. At first, the emotions I felt were faint, but I listened with all my attention and my emotional sense grew stronger. It was at this point that I realised I was surrounded by someone else. Someone who was in a lot of emotional pain. My conclusion was that my body had died and some part of me had been transplanted into another body. When I made that observation to myself I wasn't upset, but like before, I still had this calm centre, so it was a logical note, rather than a soul-destroying discovery.

I had another opportunity to go to the light, although there was no sense of light, just a different place to go, somewhere not of this world. There was no fear involved or any emotion holding me back. The only reason why I didn't go was because the person I was within was having a terrible life and wanted to help. All I felt were negative emotions, she almost never felt love, happiness or joy.

I stretched myself, pushing myself to become more than I was so that I could help her. I constantly strained my emotional sense and tried to listen for more than just emotion. I accomplished two things fairly quickly, an ability to project my calm, peaceful feeling that came from my centre and I started feeling the emotions of other people when they were close to my host. This allowed me to start understanding what was going on and try and help.

From what I could tell, I was in a child's body, that went to school for a period of the day. I guessed that from the number of different emotions that surrounded me then with childlike innocence. That appeared to be the best part of the day for my host. There were times at school when I sensed some fun, joy and friendship. At home there appeared to be two other people in the house. I guessed the mother and father. The mother seemed diminished, like someone had trodden on her and there was no spirit left. I didn't feel love from her or even caring, just apathy and fear when the other person was present. The father was a nasty piece of work. Most of the time I felt anger, satisfaction and boastful pride from him. I was pretty sure he was at least physically abusing the woman and knew for a fact that he was raping my host. He could have been a step-father, an uncle or some other male figure, but I presumed he was either the father or step-father.

I started developing an energy sense to go along with my emotion sense which allowed me to connect the terrible emotions that my host was suffering with a disgusting energy penetration of my host's bottom. It wasn't just terror, shame and humiliation, but helplessness and hopelessness as well. His very presence evoked a panic reaction.

The energy of my host was becoming damaged. I tried with some success to manipulate my host's aura and fill in the holes that were forming, but every new attack didn't just create new damage but undid all my healing attempts. My host was dying, energetically. I didn't know if that meant the soul was dying or something else, but I equated it to the soul.

I had to do something so the next time I felt him come in for another attack, I reached out and tried something new, I shared my peacefulness with him, taking away his anger. It wasn't without cost as it meant I had to touch his disgusting soul, but it stopped his intended attack cold. His soul was also damaged, but he had somehow filled up the damaged sections with something vile and evil.

I couldn't sense time exactly but got some kind of idea by the number of emotions that I experienced and things like going to school and feeling all these innocent souls around me. Mostly innocent, there were a few that had evidence of damage and touches of nastiness. I started reaching out to those and attempting to heal their auras and remove the nastiness.

I think a month passed and my host was doing much better. I was able to heal the aura and without any attacks, lighter emotions started becoming more frequent. I tried to heal the mother, but there just wasn't any energy for me to use. I may have helped a little, but I didn't notice any real change. I tried once to heal the man of the house, but those evil sections rejected me forcefully.

Then he attacked again. I tried to reach him, but his soul rejected me. I tried to project peacefulness onto my host but their emotions were too strong. All the healing I had done, evaporated and I felt the soul give up in despair. The soul energy that was surrounding me left and I was almost sucked up out of my location to fill the void.

Slowly I became aware of other sensations. First I felt touch, which wasn't that pleasant since I felt pain coming from my wrists and my bottom. Then I could hear, mostly my breathing, but other soft sounds. My sight may have come back at some point, but it wasn't until I felt able to move and turned my head that had been buried in a pillow, that I realised I could see. Not a lot, since it was very dark, but when you are used to not being able to see, anything is a pleasant surprise.

The man was long gone, but when I stretched out my senses I could feel him next to the woman in another bedroom. I checked my bottom to see if there was any evidence that I could take to the police, but my bottom was mostly dry. I smelt my fingers realising that all my senses were working. I smelt something that reminded me of a condom. I wondered if that would be enough evidence. Should I get up, find a phone and call the police? I knew the woman was aware of what the man was doing to my body. I had checked her emotions during an earlier attack and felt her guilt and self-loathing.

My emotions up until that point had been mostly calm, but it seemed that now I was in a body my emotions were amplified and under a lot less control. The idea of getting caught by the man scared me in a way I had never been scared before. I wasn't just scared, I was terrified, like a phobia of that man and his disgusting soul.

I took deep breaths to calm myself down, but I knew I didn't have the courage to sneak around the house. I didn't know what to do. This body was not mine and the real owner could come back at any moment. I wanted to help this body so that when its owner returned, we would have a good time together. I just needed to work out how to do that. Clearly, I couldn't stay here, in this house with that monster.

Chapter 2

The obvious answer was to take this body to my mother. My mother was an amazing woman. I was seven when my mother managed to get away from my father and take us, including my five-year-old sister, to a woman's shelter. We moved to another city and started with nothing, but my mother worked hard and I can honestly say we never lacked anything we needed. My sister wanted more, but she got everything she needed.

I knew that this body that I was temporarily controlling, would be safe, cared for and loved by my mother if I could get it there. The difficulty was that I had so little knowledge. I didn't know the name of anyone in the house, not even my own. I didn't know where I was or what I looked like.

With a frisson of fear, I felt the ugly soul of the man get up out of bed. I cowered in my bed, going into a fetal position, terrified that he would come back. I hadn't really felt any of his previous attacks, but if he did anything now, I would feel all of it.

I felt him move around and then the shower went on. I released a bit of tension in my body. He was getting up. He always got up early to go to work. I was safe. Despite knowing that and watching the woman get up and go to the kitchen to make his breakfast, I didn't fully relax until he left the house.

I got up carefully and had a look at myself. I was wearing a nightie and had very pale blonde hair. A quick check confirmed I was a girl. I took a deep breath, that was unexpected. I had presumed that since the man was only interested in my bottom that I was a boy. That didn't really change anything though. I still had to do my best for this new body until the owner returned. There was a small voice that asked the question, what if she never returned? I was small and slight, definitely a child, but I wasn't sure of the age. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Bright blue eyes stared back at me. In combination with the pale hair, my look was quite striking. I was going to have to cut my hair short or dye it if I was to go on the run.

I had very little pubic hair and only the slightest hint of breasts although my nipples were both sensitive and itchy. I had a big scar on the front of my chest, so I guessed it was a heart transplant. I had a shower and washed myself thoroughly. I didn't exactly explore, but I did touch my new areas and try and make sure they were clean. I washed my bottom. Any evidence was lost but I realised that going to the police or phoning a child helpline might get me help eventually, but at best it would be with a stranger and I couldn't see it happening before that man had another go at me.

Getting dressed was an experience. Putting on panties and having nothing to bulge did strain my mind briefly. My drawer also had these sports bra type things that were more for the appearance than requirement, I think. Wearing it definitely reminded me that my body was female. Looking in the wardrobe I saw a school uniform dress. I swallowed nervously. I didn't really have much choice. I put it on. I couldn't help feeling that I was half-naked. I brushed my hair out. It was still fairly wet, but I didn't know how to dry it with a hairdryer. It seemed quite an involved process when I had seen my mother or sister do it.

I then searched the room looking for anything that could help me. I found a school backpack. I put a pair of jeans and a denim jacket with a few pairs of underwear, socks and bras in. I rolled a jumper up and put it in along with a pair of trainers. Three T-shirts and another dress, to give me options. My best find was a small handbag with a purse and twenty dollars in it as well as a travel card. I didn't know if I was going to go on the run, but I wanted to be prepared in case. I would be incredibly vulnerable if I did that, but I was even more vulnerable at home.

I went downstairs and met the woman who I guessed was my mother. She had pale blonde hair and blue eyes, but her eyes were lifeless.

“You better hurry up, we have to leave in ten minutes. I've made you lunch,” she said indicating a pack lunch bag.

“Thank you,” I said. I didn't know what I normally had for breakfast or even what cupboard I should look in for it, but there weren't many that could be a pantry and most kids eat cereal for breakfast. At the bottom of the pantry was a box of corn flakes, so I grabbed that out and then realised I had no idea where the bowls were kept or spoons.

The woman huffed and got them for me. “You are old enough to get these yourself, young lady,” she said.

“Thank you,” I muttered again and proceeded to eat.

Fortunately, she had left the room before I had finished, so I could go around quickly and find out where things were, putting my bowl in the dishwasher and the milk back in the fridge. I filled the water bottle I had in my school bag with water from the tap. I was ready to go to a school I didn't know to meet friends who I wouldn't recognise.

It was scary and my little body was full of emotions, feeling them much stronger than I ever remember as Eric. I had worked out a plan A and a plan B. Plan A was to convince this woman that we needed to go to a woman's shelter, today before the man came back. If that didn't work, I would need to figure out a plan to run away.

During the journey, I was trying to gather my courage to speak to the woman, but the journey was short and we arrived quickly, so I had no choice but to go for it as she parked the car to let me out.

“Mum. I can't let him do that to me again,” I said with a shaky voice.

“We've spoken about this, Cindy,” she said, looking away. “He will kill us if we leave. We have to endure.”

I got out of the car. She was too scared to ever leave him. At least I found out my name. I caught sight of her eyes when she started pulling away, noticing the tears. Plan B it was then.

As I walked towards the school another girl ran towards me and straight into a hug. I instinctively hugged her back, smiling. She immediately started talking and didn't seem to breathe between sentences, which was great for me since I had absolutely no idea what to say. I just followed where she led which was to a classroom. She carried on chatting until the bell went and our teacher arrived. Our first lesson was music in the music room, so we all had to trek in single-file to another room and then sit cross-legged for our lesson.

The lesson was very basic and I found it quite boring. Considering I had been an eighteen-year-old man who had only recently finished school and had been playing the violin for twelve years, it wasn't too surprising. I did note the musical instruments in a case with a glass front and that gave me an idea. When the class ended I went straight up to the teacher.

“Miss, could I borrow a violin?” I asked.

“Those instruments are for our school orchestra. Are you joining up? Have you been having lessons?” she asked.

“Yes, for a while now,” I answered.

“Come here at lunchtime. If you can show that you can play, then you can borrow one,” she agreed.

I rushed back to join my friend.

She looked at me puzzled. I think she was my best friend and had waited while I spoke to the teacher, overhearing my conversation.

I looked her in the eye. She was sticking to me like glue, which was helping me to go unnoticed despite my lack of knowledge but was going to be difficult to lose if I needed to leave. “I'll tell you more at lunch.”

The lessons before lunch were easy for me. As soon as lunchtime arrived I headed back to the music hall. Another class was leaving, so I waited and then entered as soon as I could.

The teacher looked at me with a puzzled expression, shrugged her shoulders, pulled out a key and opened the cabinet, pulling out a violin case and passing it to me. I spent a few moments checking the tuning and adjusting it slightly. I did it automatically without thinking about it as it was part of my routine. I closed my eyes and started playing Albinoni's Adagio in G minor. As usual, I lost myself in the piece. It takes me about eight minutes to play it through and I had intended to only play for a minute or so, but I hadn't played anything since I had died. Playing again was a comfort, an element of familiarity that I needed at that moment so I didn't stop until I finished, only opening my eyes at the end. I think I might have even played it better than when I was Eric. I felt the emotions more and had experienced more that I could somehow express through my violin.

There was a silence for a moment when I had finished. Then I heard clapping both behind me and in front of me. The music teacher had tears in her eyes as she was clapping and when I turned around there was a group who had followed their ears, both adults and children.

My friend ran through to give me another hug. “Can you play something else? That was beautiful,” she said.

Chapter 3

I ended up giving an impromptu concert. I had to break frequently, partially to eat my lunch, but mainly because my new body had not developed any stamina for violin playing. The music teacher started talking about the orchestra and what she would like me to do. I tuned most of it out while seeming to agree and nod my head. I needed to get away from here and having a violin meant I could earn some money busking.

I did feel a little guilty. My intention was to take the violin and go on the run, which felt a little bit bad. I would try and send back either the violin or money for a new one when I could, but that didn't mean I wasn't stealing this one. I needed to protect Cindy and that meant running away. I did decide that the music teacher deserved a note if I could get her one. I wrote it in my next class which was an English class. I folded it up and addressed it. I was blunt and honest figuring she would forgive me if she knew the truth. I was also aware that it would cast suspicion on the rapist, but no evidence. I gave it to my best friend and made her promise not to read it, but give it to the music teacher tomorrow. I tried to impress on her how serious it was.

My original idea was to disappear during lunch break, but that was blown out of the water after I started playing the violin. Logically, the best time was the middle of the night, but then there was the possibility that I might get attacked again and at my age, I couldn't just get on a bus at night without someone wanting to know where my parents were. Escaping school without someone noticing was possible but it wouldn't be long before the search began.

I figured I needed to get into the centre of Sydney to have any hope of losing any pursuit. The only options for that were car, bus or train. The bus was probably out as the bus driver would report me. I was a little young to be driving. I did know how, but I wasn't sure I could even reach the pedals. The only option was the train. Most of the train system was automated, I just needed to get to a train station.

My best friend, whose name I found out was Jess, but only after someone else called her that, had a phone, so while we were waiting to be picked up, she let me borrow it and I used google maps to find the train station closest to my house. I did my best to memorise it.

Although I hadn't been challenged in any of my lessons that day, I had noticed that Cindy's brain was more intelligent than Eric's with a better memory. I practised hours on my violin every day when I was Eric to learn each piece of music. Long hours and repetition was the only way I could do it. If it was a minor difference I probably wouldn't have noticed it, but Cindy's memory was much clearer and it only took a glance to memorise my route.

I was picked up soon after, so I didn't have time to do any other research and I thought that was probably a good thing. If someone looked at the history on Jess' phone it would show that I looked at a map around my house and that was it. By that time, hopefully, it wouldn't matter as I would be in hiding somewhere in the city centre.

The woman who I presumed was my mother noticed the violin case and asked me about it. I told her I was borrowing it from school because I wanted to learn and had been offered free lessons at school. That ended that conversation apart from a suggestion that I don't play when my step-father was home. Now I knew he was a step-father.

When my mother wasn't watching I went to the kitchen and searched for a sharp knife. I wasn't sure I would have the courage to use it and he was unlikely to attack me two days in a row, but I wanted to have options. I spent most of the time in my room, trying to stay unnoticed. My room had a sliding window with a flyscreen in it, but I worked out how to remove it and would be able to climb out easily.

I was called down for dinner. The man wasn't back from work or from drinking with his friends. Whatever the reason, we had a quiet, non-stressful dinner. I was sent to bed at nine and he still hadn't returned. I waited until my mother had checked on me, then took off my nightie and changed into my jeans, T-shirt, denim jacket with socks and trainers. My backpack was full of clothes and the violin. I took the flyscreen off as quietly as possible and opened the window, climbing out carefully and shutting the window behind me. My heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest. I took deep breaths to calm myself. My way to the street was blocked by a water tank, but I was small and skinny enough to be able to squeeze past it. I had to take my backpack off and hold it in my hand to get past.

I walked as quickly as I could towards the train station, ignoring any cars that passed, hoping that they would ignore me. At the train station, I worked out my route and then hid in the shadows.

Getting on the train was a non-event, despite my worry and due to the lateness of the hour, there were only a few people who came near me. One woman in her twenties sat near me and asked me if I was running away. I laughed and told her I was running towards. I touched her energy with mine and told her I didn't feel safe with my step-father so I was going back to the mother of my heart. Everything I said was true and I realised that I couldn't lie when speaking to someone and touching their soul at the same time. It was like there was something in me that told me that would be a major wrong.

She was concerned about my safety and again I couldn't lie, so I told her that what I was doing was safer than anything else I could think of. I then told her that if she reported me I would be sent back to my step-father and would likely be raped again.

There is something about touching someone else's energy. I think at a fundamental level you connect and then you can't be dishonest and somehow the other person knows that. It even draws the truth out of you when you would rather stay quiet. It was the first time I noticed that effect, but it wouldn't be the last. On the plus side, she knew I believed what I said and couldn't in good conscience report me and by staying by me and talking to me, no one else bothered me. She gave me her phone number by writing it on my hand, telling me to contact her if I needed help. She wanted to bring me with her, but she was staying at a friend's house and the parent of her friend was a policewoman who would immediately report me.

I could tell that she was reluctant to leave me on my own and listening to her emotions could feel herself building to somehow taking charge of me. I thanked her, promised to contact her when I could and got off at the next stop before she could make her mind up. I then had to wait for the next train to continue my journey.

The last part of my trip was a bit of a nightmare. I got on easily enough, but there was a guy in his twenties who immediately noticed me and his emotions were revolting. I touched his energy and found a damaged aura with evil elements. I think that the only thing that stopped him from attacking me was the presence of another passenger who had headphones on and was oblivious to the world around him.

I had been to Sydney as Eric, but only remembered Darling Harbour and Circular Quay. We had travelled once for a cruise that went to the pacific islands. We very rarely could afford holidays, so that event was very memorable to me. I knew that near Circular Quay there was a place where performers entertained the public, so I was hoping to go there to earn some money, and I thought there would be somewhere around Darling Harbour where I could sleep for the night.

However, with that man watching me I was frightened enough that I got off at Central and didn't try and find another train, I just started running away. I kept an eye on his emotions and felt his joy of the chase and anticipation of dominance. It was horrible and I could barely think clearly. I ran into the park and tried to hide.

I had two ways of keeping track of him. One was his emotions that had a nasty flavour, but I think everyone experiences their emotions slightly differently so I could pick people out purely by their emotions. The other was more short-ranged but also more accurate and that was touching their energy with my own. When I did that I got a much more complete feeling for their personality.

Following him by his emotions I could feel him approaching my area, but it looked like he was going to walk past my hiding place. When he got close enough, I then used my soul energy to touch his, but that was a mistake. He immediately changed his direction and started heading directly towards me. Scared I withdrew my energy probe knowing that he got as much information as I did when I used it. I pulled my energy in, which took some effort now that it was used to being so spread out. Then I pulled it in even further so that it was below my skin and most of the way to my heart again. I could still feel his emotions. I didn't want to move because the noise I would make would give me away, but he was still heading towards me although less confidently, which meant he was about to find me. I felt despair, there was no way to win. If I stayed still he would find me, if I moved he would catch me. I looked up at him from inside the bush I was using to hide, expecting him to say something, do something, but all his emotions registered was confusion.

I was right in front of him and he couldn't see me. He couldn't see me.

Chapter 4

He loitered for half an hour, waiting for me to emerge, but I knew he was there with his emotional signature. I was getting tired anyway, so I pulled a couple of jumpers on, curled into a ball, used my backpack as a pillow and tried to get some sleep. I couldn't really settle down until I felt him leave. Then, despite not feeling that comfortable, I couldn't keep my eyes open and drifted off.

I woke up when I felt any emotional presence, checked that my energy was still pulled in, which it wasn't, so pulled it back in and went back to sleep until the sunlight was bright enough that I knew I had to get up. I did my best to brush off all evidence of a rough night and made my way back to the train station.

It was weird walking around other people with my energy pulled in. It was like they subconsciously knew I was there because they avoided walking into me, but couldn't consciously see me. There was a fair number of people around so I set up a spot that was close to lots of people walking but slightly removed. I put my violin case in front of me, tuned up and then reversed my energy signature, pushing my energy out as far as I could reach and started playing.

It went pretty well, I didn't count the money, just enjoyed playing the violin. It probably helped that I was a cute young girl, but it also counted against me. I could feel a couple of ladies who were going to question me when I finished, so I quickly packed up, shoving the money in my pocket, moving off into the crowd and pulling my energy in again.

I took the train to Circular Quay. I checked the money and found out that I had earned a little over thirty dollars and with what I already had, I had enough for some food and to organise my disguise. It wasn't a great place for shopping, but I managed to find a brown hair dye and using the public toilets was able to do a passable job dying my hair. It's not anything I had ever done before, but the instructions were pretty clear. There were a few ladies who came in while I was doing it, but with my energy pulled in, they ignored me.

I then went to McDonald's to have some food and wait for the day to pass. It was quite funny, I would walk up to the counter, often waiting in line which required others to subconsciously leave room for me, then, when it was my turn, I would push my energy out, place my order, and pay. After serving me, while wondering what a young girl was doing on her own, I would move away and pull my energy in until my order was ready. Their emotions went from shock to confusion, but the next customer usually pulled their attention away from trying to work it all out. I did it twice to the same server and this time they were half expecting it, so their emotion was curiosity.

I waited until the afternoon when kids my age would be out of school and there were a large number of tourists. I then set up in the performing area which I remembered from my last visit. Again I put out my violin case. This time I pretended to wave to someone in the crowd with a smile on my face, hoping others would presume I was waving to a parent or other guardian. I started playing Vivaldi's four seasons. It was all very well playing technical pieces that showcased my ability with the violin, but in reality, people preferred to hear something that they already knew. Besides, I loved every season and was very familiar with it. I only got through Spring before I felt too physically tired to continue and it was a good stopping point, anyway.

I earned over a hundred and twenty dollars. I gathered it up, walked off into the crowd, many of them thanking me for a great performance. Once I was among strangers who weren't particularly noticing me, I pulled my energy in and headed for the train station. I needed to buy a few essentials, but at low prices so I needed a K-mart or Big-W. Fortunately, we had a similar issue when I had come here previously so I knew I would find what I was looking for at Broadway shopping centre.

I took the train to Central and then a bus to the shopping centre. I managed to find a self-inflating single mattress for nineteen dollars and a cute mermaid sleeping bag for fifteen dollars. When I felt a desire for the mermaid sleeping bag I knew I had properly crossed the gender divide. I then tried to justify it to myself by saying that I was buying it for Cindy. I also thought it was unlikely that any man would try and steal it. Still, I had to be honest with myself and admit there was something cute about it that I liked. I found a small tent for twelve dollars and my last purchase was a smartphone for fifty-nine dollars. I didn't bother with a sim card because I knew I could use the free wireless service in lots of places. There were even complimentary charge stations at some cafes.

I couldn't fit it all in my backpack so I had to go back in and find a bag. I chose a five-litre dry bag for six dollars and moved my clothes and sleeping bag into that. I could hold the bag in my hand with my backpack on my back it wasn't too unwieldy. It hadn't rained yet, but I knew that wouldn't last.

I bought a pack of oat bars from Coles with chocolate chips and then headed to the parent's restroom where I refilled my water bottle and charged my phone. I then sat in a cafe nursing a mug of hot chocolate while using the free Wi-Fi to work out where I was going to sleep that night.

I was trying to be honest and pay for everything, but my ability to draw in my energy and become effectively invisible allowed me to get away with some cost savings. I stopped paying for my train, bus and other travel expenses. I figured I could also use it for my accommodation. Although I might be invisible, I didn't think my tent would be, so I needed a campsite where a tent would be expected and allowed. I chose the Cockatoo Island campsite as it was only a short ferry trip from Circular Quay. They even had already set up tents that you could hire. I waited until it was getting late and sneaked into one of those tents and set up my mattress and sleeping bag. They had a public restroom that I could use, so I was finally able to have a decent shower and feel clean again. I transferred the phone number on my hand into my phone before I washed it off. I then realised that I needed one more purchase, a towel. It would have to wait for me to have more funds, though. I tried to brush off as much water as possible and then used the hand drying paper to dry myself off. I washed my underwear and used the hot air jets of the hand dryer to dry them.

My plan was fairly simple, gather enough funds to get to Adelaide and visit my real mother. I did have her phone number but I didn't sound or look anything like Eric so I needed to meet her face to face. Using the phone I found there was a train that travelled from Sydney to Adelaide which was probably my best bet, but it took twenty-four hours for the journey and I was pretty sure that I became visible when I went to sleep. When I woke up yesterday my energy had automatically stretched itself out to a normal distance. I had two choices, sneak aboard and try and stay awake for twenty-four hours or buy a ticket. I was going to try and earn the money for the ticket and if that didn't work I could always try the other option.

Chapter 5

The next day was a Saturday, so I didn't have to worry about anyone expecting me to be in school and there were more people, even from early on. I took the ferry back to Circular Quay and started scouting out the performance area. While waiting I did do a scan of the crowd and something made me uneasy so I travelled around everyone, keeping my energy in but using my emotional sense to see if I could sense anything wrong.

There were a couple of people who were on the lookout for someone. It may not have been me that they were searching for, but I couldn't take the risk. I retreated to McDonald's getting something to eat and trying to work out a new plan. Dying my hair was probably not enough. By now, my ability to play the violin was probably well known after my school performance. If I couldn't busk, I had no way to earn money. If I couldn't earn money, I had no way to feed myself. I could go to the train station and sneak onboard the train to Adelaide, but I wanted the heat to die down, ideally. If I fell asleep and everyone was alerted to be looking for me I could find myself in real trouble. Staying awake for twenty-four hours doesn't sound like a big deal, but I had found this younger body demanded much more sleep than I was used to, so I knew that was not going to be easy.

While I wandered back towards the train station the presence of a cruise ship intruded on my awareness. Thinking about it, when I went on that cruise as Eric, once we got on board we had these passes, but they were only to show we had bought a drinks package and provide entry to our rooms. All the buffet food, juice, water, hot drinks and even ice cream were all provided with no checks. If I could sneak onboard, which would normally be impossible, but with my effective invisibility should be easy, I would be provided for. Sleeping arrangements would be a little tricky, but I could sleep during the day on a lounger or find a quiet location that wasn't being used. By the time the cruise ship came back, the heat should have died off. I probably couldn't busk again, but I would have however long the cruise lasted to work out an alternate plan.

Getting on board was actually quite easy. I just followed another family but kept my energy in. There were checks, but I just breezed through, with no one noticing. I then set off to explore.

I wouldn't be able to use the proper restaurants because you had to give your room number and I didn't have one. I couldn't use the bars both because of my age and even soft drinks required payment with a show of my non-existent card. I did go to the gift shop and bought a lanyard which I wore, but tucked it under my T-shirt, that way it looked like I had a card. With the last of my money, I bought a swimming costume. That was embarrassing. I had to ask for help, pretending my mother was close by and choosing such a female item of clothing. Still, I needed to fit in and with the swimming pool was a public shower, so I would be able to keep relatively clean. I knew I could swipe a towel from the towel station so it would look like I was legit.

It was such a relief when the ship pulled away from the dock. I now had a week or more where I didn't have to worry about food or drink and I was pretty confident about finding somewhere to sleep. Worst-case scenario, I could sleep during the day and keep my energy in during the night. With my exploration, I already had a good candidate. There was a night club that only opened late and seemed to be completely empty during the rest of the day, there was also an area for playing games like cards or board games and that was quiet. If it was warm enough I could sleep outside in one of the cabanas.

To start with it went perfectly to plan. I didn't even have to keep my energy in. There is nothing strange about seeing a young girl on her own on a cruise ship. You presume her family is around somewhere. Even eating on your own. Kids quite often prefer the buffet whereas the parents like the proper restaurant, so I wasn't the only child who was eating without their parents. I ended up playing with other kids around the swimming pool and when I was inevitably questioned about the lack of parental supervision, I suggested that my mother was struggling with seasickness and needed to stay in the room.

I called myself Charlie. I hadn't thought about it ahead of time, just knew I couldn't be Cindy and it was the first name that I thought of. There was one family with a daughter my age who took me under their wing and that helped sell the story I was presenting.

The problem I had didn't involve any of that, it was my empathy, my emotional sense. I automatically kept up my awareness of the emotion of others and there was one girl who was a teenager and constantly sad. She was slightly overweight, but nothing terrible. She never seemed to be with other kids and, as each day went past I could feel her become more and more depressed. I tried to approach her a couple of times but she rebuffed me. I kept a close eye on her when I could. I touched her with my energy and found her aura was a mess. There was no evil in it, but it had holes in it and would do these disturbing energy fluctuations. It reminded me very much of Cindy's aura.

I wasn't sure I could help her, but I wanted to try. I had learnt how to calm down auras and even repair them when I was inside Cindy. I had even reached out to try and effect her step-father with limited success. The question was the morality of it all. Could I treat her without her permission, yes, but should I? After the third time of being turned away, I decided that if I didn't do something she would become suicidal. I couldn't read thoughts but the emotions were strong and worrying.

The time I decided to intervene was when I feared she would literally jump off the ship. She was at the back of the boat in a section that was supposed to be for adults only. I thought she was too young and that she was going there to jump, but I found out later that she was eighteen and allowed to be there. I pulled in my energy and sneaked to be near her and hid in a cabana nearby. I then pulled out my violin and started playing Albinoni's Adagio in G minor again, but this time I also extended my energy to touch Lisa's aura. I did my best to calm down her energy and shift it to cover the holes. The music seemed to help, somehow charging her energy even as I was working on it. I noticed her approaching me and joining me in the cabana while I was trying to heal her.

“That was beautiful. I wish I could play like that,” Lisa said when I finished.

“Thank you,” I replied, putting my violin away.

“Why did you keep on trying to talk to me?” she asked.

“I sensed a kindred spirit. I may be wrong, but if it was true, I hoped we could help each other.” I took a deep breath. There was no way she was going to tell me what was troubling her if I didn't tell her my problems. “My step-father raped me,” I said quietly.

Lisa looked at me, but I was touching her energy with mine still, so I knew she believed me. Something seemed to crack inside her, tears welled up and she gathered me up in her arms. “I'm sorry,” she said as if it was her fault. She then started sobbing, rocking me in her arms. I was so much smaller than her that I felt very much the child. I found myself crying as well. I didn't experience too much of the rape, but I still felt violated and hurt in a way that was hard to describe.

When she had quietened down and we both had stopped crying she let go of me a little, but still kept me in her arms. “My uncle got me to play with him. I didn't want to, but he said it was my fault that he was up and I had to, to...”

“Shhhh....” I said. “Did you tell anyone?”

“No. Who would believe me?” she asked.

I was pretty sure that her parents would take the accusation very seriously, but trying to convince Lisa of that would be hard. Then I wondered if my touching soul energy and the honesty that comes with it could help.

“What colour eyes have you got Lisa?” I asked.

She looked at me with confusion. “Err... blue.”

“I have a special ability which makes it hard to lie and for people to know when someone is telling the truth. I want you to tell me that you have brown eyes,” I told her.

“I have brown eyes,” she said. “Wow, that was hard and I know you wouldn't have believed me.”

“OK, I'm going to try the same and you can feel the difference. I have blue eyes,” I said, pausing to give her a chance to see how that felt. “I have brown eyes,” I said struggling to get past the wrongness.

“Did you tell your mum then?” Lisa asked after a pause to digest the difference.

“She already knew but was too scared to take any action. We can talk about my troubles later, right now, we need to talk to your parents,” I said, attempting to project calm at her.

She took a deep breath. “OK, I can do this. Are you sure this is going to work?”

“I don't know your parents, but they will know you are telling the truth and I can't imagine that they are going to be anything but loving towards you,” I said.

We held hands and tracked down her parents. They were in the casino section. Her dad was playing a slot machine while her mum was sitting nearby sipping a drink. I connected my energy to both Lisa and her mother and then squeezed Lisa's hand.

Lisa then asked her mother to remember when her brother Rob visited a year ago and talked about what happened. There was no question about belief, her mother was shocked and horrified. She gathered Lisa up and they disappeared back to their rooms. I could feel her mother's emotions and knew she completely trusted her daughter. It also answered lingering questions in her mother's mind. She had not had any clue as to what had happened but she had noted a change in her daughter's behaviour. This explained it perfectly.

Lisa's dad asked me why they had left and I said both his wife and his daughter needed him in their room. He looked at me with questions in his eyes but left to find out more from his family.

Chapter 6

That did leave me in the casino area and made me wonder if there was some game of chance where my abilities gave me a boost. Obviously, poker would be easier if I could tell the true emotional state of the other players, but I was too young to be allowed to play. Besides, I would prefer to win against the casino rather than other players. I could touch the slot machines with my energy, but they were too complex for me to work out any advantages.

There was one machine that I thought would work. It was like a second hand of a clock. When you bought a ticket, the hand would travel clockwise and you had a big red button to press when that arm was over a gap. If the hand passed through the gap you won the money. Tickets cost seven dollars fifty and the payout was five thousand dollars. They made the gap appear large, but with the star on the end of the second hand, it was almost impossible to win. However, I could see inside the machine and could see exactly when to press. It was only a tiny spot to aim for, but you were given five chances per go.

The only problem was you needed a cruise card to play. Not that I had the seven dollars fifty either. I walked back to the empty nightclub. I was used to practising for a couple of hours a day on my violin, but I didn't have the stamina yet. The only way to get that strength back was to keep at it, so every day I had been coming here to practise. I have often heard the phrase that music can soothe the savage beast, so I had combined my energy work with my violin playing when working on Lisa. I felt it had added an extra dimension. Lisa wasn't completely fixed yet. I knew that I would need to work on her more and probably explain and get permission before doing it.

I didn't see Lisa or her family again until dinner time.

Her mum hugged me. “Thank you so much. Lisa said without you she wouldn't have had the courage to speak to us. Can you take me to your parents? I want them to know and be proud.”

“You are very welcome. My mum is not available at the moment, so maybe later,” I said, thinking very much later. “I did want to talk to you both about something. I think music can help heal emotional wounds, so I wondered if I could have permission to treat Lisa's wounds,” I said tapping my violin.

“Sure,” the father said, pandering to me, but clearly expecting a childish ineptitude.

“I don't want to disturb anyone here, but I have found somewhere if you are interested.” They had found me on a sun lounger next to the main pool.

With their agreement, I led them to the empty nightclub. I asked Lisa to sit close to me for full healing effect and started playing Vivaldi again while extending my energy to Lisa and working on her aura. I thought it would be a difficult challenge mentally to be doing two things at once, but in reality, working on Lisa with my energy left my body to play without interference. My body knew what to do considering the number of times I had practised, it just needed my mind to get out of the way. I had a brief pause between each season and only managed two seasons, but I was happy with Lisa's progress.

“I do feel better,” Lisa admitted. “Like the stain on my soul has been washed off.”

Both parents, frankly amazed by my violin performance and happy with Lisa's recovery asked if there was anything they could do for me.

“Well, there is one thing,” I said. “There is one game in the casino that I really want to play, but it needs a cruise card linked to an account. It is only seven dollars fifty. Do you think you could let me have a go?”

I had to take them to the casino and show them the machine. The father tapped his card against the machine and I had my chance. Even knowing the right zone to press the red button it was hard. I missed it the first two times but got it on the third. Five thousand dollars cash dropped into the holder.

“Yes!” I said exultantly.

“Hang on a second. You are a bit young for that much money. We need to go and see your parents. I'm sure they will let you keep it, but they probably want to put some of it into a savings account or something,” he said.

I sighed. I was going to have to tell them at least some of the truth. “Did Lisa tell you what I have been through?” I asked.

“No,” Lisa stated. “What you said to me was private and you didn't give me permission to share.”

“What is she talking about?” her mum asked.

“Can we go somewhere private?” I asked.

The casino wasn't that far from their room, so we went there, the father still holding onto the money.

“OK. I didn't want to talk about my issues, but I need that money and I can see that you aren't going to let me have it without explaining why. My step-father went a step further than Lisa's uncle. He threatened my mother and me to stop me from telling anyone, so I had to run away. I have a relative in Adelaide who will shelter me, but I need to get there and the money will help me do that. I am very good at sneaking, so I crept on board.”

“You are a stowaway?” Lisa asked.

I lifted up my lanyard to show there was no card attached.

“Where have you been sleeping?” her mother asked.

“Here and there. There is a games room that tends to be unoccupied and during the day I like the nightclub. I was doing some busking to earn some money to pay for food and travel, but someone started looking for me, so I sneaked aboard the ship.”

“That is not acceptable, young lady. You can stay here, although I am not quite sure where,” her mum said looking at the lack of available space.

“She can sleep with me,” Lisa said. “Charlie is only small, we can both fit in the single bed.”

I held out my hand for my money and the father reluctantly handed it over. The thing is I could read all their emotions. The mother and daughter were appalled at both what I have been through and what I was doing at such a young age without help. They wanted to help me. The father had less of an emotional reaction. I could see him justifying handing me in as the right thing to do. Then he could keep the five thousand. I was pretty sure that at some point he was going to suggest putting the money in the safe and I would never see it again.

I said I had to go and gather my things and agreed to meet them at the buffet restaurant. As soon as I was out of sight, I pulled my energy in and ran away. The good news, I now had enough money. The bad news I was pretty sure he was going to report me.

At first, I thought I would just find somewhere to hide the money, but there really wasn't anywhere safe and if he reported me to the crew, would I be placed somewhere I couldn't escape from? It was a frightening thought. I would probably find it difficult to hide from the family for the rest of the cruise, especially after I had revealed my favourite sleeping places. If I could just stay away from them for one night, I could get off the ship the next day as we were docking at Noumea, New Caledonia. Then I could stay there until the next cruise ship and then get on board that one.

I hid from them for the rest of that day and slept outside in a covered cabana in my sleeping bag. At least the weather was warm. I did think about telling Lisa that her dad seemed a little too concerned with the money, but I didn't want to affect her relationship just because of the emotions I sensed. Just because someone feels a particular emotion, that doesn't mean they are going to act on it. Still, I couldn't risk it. I knew greed was a powerful emotion.

I pulled my emotions in and walked off the ship with no one the wiser.

I had thought that I had done the hard work so staying on Noumea would be easy. I mean I had five thousand dollars, a sleeping bag, mattress and tent, but there were a couple of factors I hadn't counted on. Everyone spoke French with only some people speaking English and more importantly, they had their own currency.

If I was an adult, changing the money would have been easy, going to a hotel or a restaurant, child's play, but since I wasn't, I struggled for the week that I was there. My violin came to my rescue, earning me enough to cover buying food. I had to use my vanishing act when someone took too much notice of me and I camped in the wilderness. I would periodically have a swim in the ocean to keep myself somewhat clean. I was very grateful when the next cruise ship appeared. I waited until others were boarding and then joined them.

It was a different ship, but with similar features. I was able to get myself clean using a public shower and I explored to find the hidden spaces I could go to find peace and quiet for sleeping. Most of my clothes were dirty and I didn't really have any place to wash them, so I visited the ship shops and bought some new dresses and underwear.

The rest of my journey back to Sydney was uneventful, but I did come up with a plan. I wanted an adult that I could trust to help me. I decided that I was going to look amongst the homeless for a man or woman whose soul shone with goodness. If they were damaged I would heal them, but I needed to find a protector, someone who knew the difference between right and wrong, who always took the right path. A hero or heroine.

That was how I found Michael, a diamond in the rough. He was suffering, oh how he was suffering, but only because his main drive was to protect others. It was such a core part of him and his identity that when he felt he was a danger to others his whole world collapsed. He was a true hero although he would never admit it. His soul couldn't lie, it shone with greatness.

Healing him and giving the world back one of its heroes gave me such satisfaction that I knew I wanted to do it again. A new path opened up in front of me. A spiritual healer. I told Michael everything, holding nothing back.

With an adult and money, my journey to Adelaide was laughably easy. There was a slight delay while Michael got his life back together which included a trip to the American Embassy. I bought him a phone and a sim card that he used to make some phone calls. I was mostly in my hotel room while he was sorting himself out. Once he had organised his circumstances, we bought a ticket for the train and since I was a child I was free. It included a place to sleep. Twenty-four hours later we arrived in Adelaide.

Chapter 7

I was second-guessing myself coming up to my mother's house. Was I an eighteen-year-old man or an eleven-year-old girl? Was I merely a caretaker for this body? Was Cindy ever going to return or was this my second chance at life? I had all my memories of Eric and none of Cindy, but this body was clearly a young girl's body.

That last was a bit scary, but the longer I sensed no sign of Cindy the stronger the possibility felt. Only scary in the thought that I had no idea how to be a girl. At that point, I was living in the body and telling myself that I needed to do the best job I could for Cindy. Facing a future with the possibility of periods, pregnancy and childbirth didn't bear thinking about, so I was using avoidance, but without any evidence that Cindy was still on this plane, I was beginning to suspect this body could be considered mine.

From a sexuality point of view, the eighteen-year-old man that I was, was very much into ladies, but the eleven-year-old girl was not interested in either sex. I found myself admiring beautiful women, but not getting that rush of lust that I had as a man. The idea of being with a man still felt wrong and alien, but this body I was now in might have different ideas.

Whenever my mind shifted in such uncomfortable directions, initially, I put it off by telling myself that it was Cindy's body and it would be up to her what she did with it. My job would be to support her as best as I could. With her continued absence and the slowly dawning realisation that this might be my new body, I tried to put a positive spin on it, which was, it was better than dying. How many people got such a fantastic opportunity as a second chance at life?

I knew I wasn't Eric anymore. I had noticed that my mind didn't think quite the same. To be honest, I think this new body was far more intelligent than my old one, but far more emotional as well. The level of fear I had felt so far was frightening. I could still think logically, but for some reason trusted my gut more than my reasoning. My thoughts tended to stray in different directions. I cared about how I looked and how people perceived me. As Eric, I wanted to be attractive to women, but otherwise didn't care, as Charlie, I wanted to be pretty and cute.

Michael was standing behind me when we approached my old house door. My mother's car was in the driveway, so I knew she still lived here and wasn't at work. It was nearly six in the evening and mum usually was home by now. With Michael behind me, I couldn't put this off, although my emotions were going crazy and I was struggling to cope. I knocked on the door nervously. A quick glance at Michael got me an encouraging smile.

My mum opened the door with a gentle questioning smile on her face. The love I felt for her rushed through me and I reacted.

“Mum!” I said moving into her arms. Her arms automatically opened for me and I burst into tears hugging her.

After giving me a good hug she laughed nervously. “I'm sorry dear, I'm pretty sure you have the wrong person.”

I got my crying under control, but I was still sniffing. “You might be surprised,” I muttered. I lifted up my T-shirt and my bra to show her my chest scar. “You are the mother of my heart,” I told her.

She gasped. “You have Eric's heart,” she sobbed, her hand going to her mouth.

“Can we come in?” I asked.

She clutched me to her breast and started crying, which got me crying again. Eventually, we got ourselves together and withdrew to the lounge. I introduced Michael as a friend.

“How did you find me? I wasn't allowed any information on the person who received his heart,” mum asked.

“Have you heard any stories about people with transplants having memories that seemed to come from their transplanted organs?” I asked.

“You have memories of me?” mum asked incredulously.

“I remember everything.” I sighed. “It's a long story and not a very pleasant one, but, at least for the moment, I suppose you could say I am Eric in Cindy's body.”

“Eric?” she asked trying to peer into my soul.

I touched her energy with mine and said confidently, “mum,” with tears in my eyes again.

We were sitting on sofa's, but different ones, but feeling the truth to my words and story, she opened her arms again and I rushed back into them.

“Do you want me to tell you my story or should we wait for Kate?” I asked.

“I have missed you so much,” mum said, kissing my head. “Kate is with Beth, but I will text her to come home.”

When Kate came home, mum didn't explain other than to say that she needed to hear my story. I touched them both with my energy so they would know I was telling the truth. Like Michael, I told them everything, the only thing I downplayed was my meeting with Michael. His history was personal and not for me to share. I just said I convinced Michael to help me.

Although they believed me, they still needed some kind of reassurance, so I played the violin, told them some of my memories, showed them my ability to disappear and shared hugs and kisses.

Michael wasn't shy and spoke of his history as a warrior and the resultant PTSD which had resulted in his trip to Australia and eventual homelessness. He painted me in a very positive light. He admitted that I had given him two thousand dollars that he intended to pay back. He needed to sort some stuff out but would be in touch, then he left, knowing that I was in good hands.

I had spoken to Michael about his healing and he had some friends that he wanted me to help, so I knew at least part of his task was going to be contacting his colleagues in America and either bringing them here or working out how I could go there. I didn't have a passport, birth certificate or even knowledge of my full name and birthday.

Chapter 8

I was a bit surprised by Michael leaving so quickly, but now that I had another adult to take care of me, I could see why he didn't feel the need to be present. To be honest, I was a little hurt by his abrupt departure, feeling a little bit abandoned. It was only later that I understood what it was he did in his time away from me, although he never admitted it. It also taught me that a hero did what was right rather than what was legal.

He didn't want to trouble my conscience with his actions, but after other conversations with him about other actions that came later, I worked out that if he knew evil was being done, and without his actions would continue to be done, he felt obligated to take action.

In the week he was away from me, my step-father mysteriously disappeared.

During that week I also learnt that my problems weren't over just because I now had an adult who cared about me. I had the potential to be a financial burden on my mother, but I had some plans that could help us in the long run. Neither my mother or my sister cared about that and I felt very welcomed and loved by them both. However, legally, I was still in hot water. If my mother admitted that I was present then I would be returned to the family that didn't care about me and had both abused me and allowed that abuse to continue.

In the short term, I was pretending to be a visiting cousin. My ability to hide would help as a young child not going to school would raise questions, but spending the next seven years doing that wasn't really a solution. I believed my ability to heal those whose soul had been damaged and project my emotions onto people, could be used both to help people and earn money. Michael had said that he was going to contact some people that would need my help and I couldn't think of another way without raising suspicion. I wanted to go to the women's shelter as I had no doubt that I would have lots of potential patients, even if they couldn't afford to pay. I just couldn't think of a plausible excuse for an eleven-year-old to go there and stay for long periods of time.

Mum still went to work and Kate was still going to school so I had much of the day to myself. Kate gave me a yoga workout DVD and mum asked me to do a bit of housework, but that still left me with too much time. I practised my violin, reaching out with my emotional sense and stretching my soul energy. I felt my special senses were getting stronger with all the practise I had been doing. While I was on my own I spent large periods of time with my energy pulled in and that took effort. Like a muscle my ability to use it was getting stronger with use.

In the evenings we spent some family time together. Kate took it upon herself to teach me all the things she felt a young girl should know, even giving me magazines to read as homework. Using my emotional sense and touching her with my energy I was able to get her to open up with all the things that were bothering her. Mostly it was petty stuff like Beth said this or Ruby did that and it hurt her emotionally and just talking about it was enough to lessen the intensity that she was feeling.

I think we are all emotional creatures, especially women and those emotions spike our soul energy. Such spikes seem to settle on their own if they are allowed to discharge properly, but like a sore spot, we want to keep prodding it to check it is still there, keeping that spike active. Sometimes I felt all I needed to do was get her to talk about it, but if it was really strong, she needed to distract herself until she had calmed down and then we could discuss it more rationally. Or I could cheat and use my energy to direct hers. Kate was my willing experiment. Mostly she preferred it when I could just get her to talk about it and put it in context, but if it was too sore, she appreciated my direct intervention.

Kate didn't have any of the damaged soul symptoms that I had seen on Michael, but there were areas of her aura vibrating with negative emotions that had no bearing on her present and when I healed them Kate sometimes got flashes of the possible cause in her past or just the emotion. I also managed to treat her spider phobia, although that required me to treat her while there was a spider present which left us both emotionally drained from the experience.

Kate was fascinated by it all and wanted me to teach her to do the same things. I tried various strategies and had no success with the emotional sense. I tried putting her in as much sensory deprivation as possible and then projecting emotions that she would report and then reduced the intensity. As soon as I stopped projecting she couldn't sense a thing.

Our energy sense experiments went much better. If I poked her aura she could feel it. Initially, I had to use quite a lot of force, but we were able to train her so that she could feel much lighter touches. We had a bit of a breakthrough when I managed to compress her outer energy towards her body. She noticed I was touching her and when I let go she felt her energy expand. It took a lot of energy on my part so I couldn't do it frequently, but eventually, Kate was able to bring her energy in a little bit on her own and then release it.

We also did some trials with my invisibility ability. First of all, we checked whether I affected cameras and that was a complete bust. Video or camera could see me just fine regardless of what I was doing with my energy. The next question was, did it matter what I was wearing? Yes and no. Even knowing I was there it was hard to see me when I pulled my energy in, but it was possible if I was wearing clothes that contained metal. We checked with wood and plastic and both of those stayed unseeable, but metal zips or belt buckles could sometimes be seen, if you knew what to look for. If I held something away from my body it still couldn't be seen, unless it was metal and that was when anything metal really stood out. If the metal was covered by my hand it disappeared and the same if it was behind me. Likewise, Kate could hide behind me and also be invisible, but only if she couched down so that she was completely behind me. If any part of her stuck out, she was seen.

Mum didn't want me to treat her at all, so I left her alone despite the aura shouting for help. From what I could tell she didn't have holes in her energy so I didn't think she was damaged, just lots of negative emotions that she was holding on to. The thing is, despite everything that Eric's father did to hurt her, I think she still loved him and felt letting go of all the emotions he caused would push her to let go of her love for him. I'm pretty sure the only reason she left him was because he hit me and that she couldn't take.

It was frustrating. I wanted to heal her and help her get on with her life. As far as I was aware she hadn't dated anyone since Eric's father and didn't seem to want to make any efforts in that direction. But... it was her life, her journey and even if I wasn't now an eleven-year-old girl, having the power to act didn't give me the right to interfere.

It was an interesting moral question. On Michael, I felt compelled to act and do my best to heal his damage. There were others who had filled their damaged energy with this evil energy and those I left alone. I could project emotions at them, but I knew from trying to work on my step-father that trying that had limited success. My presumption was that people had their soul damaged at some point in their life and then either lived with it, healed it or invited evil in.

I decided that getting permission to treat was preferable, but I would try and do the right thing and not limit myself to hard rules. I wondered if I had met my step-father when he had a damaged soul before the evil came in, would I have been morally right to treat him, whether he wanted me to or not. My mum not wanting to be treated showed me that people sometimes didn't want to be healed, they felt some comfort in wallowing in their pain.

Morally I felt that was their choice as long as it wasn't going to hurt others and that was the difficult question. In hindsight, it was easy to see those who should have been treated, but that was not the world I lived in.

Chapter 9

The treatment that I was experimenting with Kate didn't turn out to be only one way. Talking about your problems wasn't always helpful, sometimes it seemed to even make the problem worse, but I found if you combined talking about your feelings with dealing with them more logically, often finding the unexpected emotion that was behind the one you thought you were dealing with, you could cause the spike to settle or the past emotional hurt to lose its intensity.

To make that happen in Kate's case, it helped if I projected peace as she was talking about something that hurt her emotionally. At my inner core, underneath all my layers was a deep peacefulness and I found tapping into it and projecting it to others relatively easy. If I projected peace, Kate became more thoughtful about what she was saying and naturally delved deeper, getting insights that helped her deal with her emotions. For example, she talked about a cutting remark that one girl had said, but with under my influence, instead of getting angry and hurt, she started asking why that girl felt the need to strike out at others. The underlying insecurity that girl must have been feeling, even feeling sorry for that other girl while Kate's own emotional hurt just faded away. Once we had worked out the best methods for easing Kate's emotional issues, we started working on mine.

I didn't feel much emotional trauma from my death, but the attacks from my step-father, even if they were at Cindy rather than me, they still left me with an underlying fear of men. I wasn't raped, but my body was and again that left its marks. I talked it all out with Kate and between her hugs and tapping into my inner peace, reduced the hurt to a more manageable level. We also dealt with my insecurities about being female. Kate pushed me to explore femininity and even suggested that I explore my body, find out what I liked and didn't like. It wasn't about sex or sexuality, but acknowledging that I was now female, dealing with it, accepting it and hopefully, start to enjoy it. It was very freeing with a lot less restrictions than I had as a male. Kate's main mantra was if I enjoyed something, I should be honest with myself and others, that way I would get more of what I enjoyed.

My previous ambition, as Eric, was to become a concert violinist. Now, I wanted to be a psychologist. I thought I could use my insights to develop a whole new school that utilises the best parts of other psychologist techniques that I could visibly see working. If I could teach my energy techniques, maybe I could incorporate my special abilities into the therapy.

I didn't think of my invisibility ability and teaching that aspect until there was an incident that was being reported on the news. A father of a three-year-old baby girl whose mother had successfully claimed full custody and was intending to take her child permanently to England to live with her and her new man. That father had gotten desperate and kidnapped the child from school and there was now a hostage situation, with the father threatening to kill the child.

My mum was still at work and Kate was at school, but the house they were talking about was within walking distance, so after an internal debate, decided to leave a note and quickly head there. The closer I got the more obvious the location was with police and media surrounding the area. I pulled my energy in and walked to the back of the house. All the blinds and curtains were obscuring the interior, but there was a doggy door into the kitchen. Using my emotional sense I knew that he wasn't anywhere near the kitchen so I eased myself inside. The doggy door wasn't that big, but I was tiny so it wasn't difficult. What I saw in the living room brought me close to tears. The little girl was huddled in the corner while the father was pacing with a phone in his hand.

I tried to project peacefulness onto him, but I felt him reject it. For whatever reason, he wanted to be angry. Giving up on him I turned to the girl who was vibrating with terror. I moved to her, stroked her hair and projected my peace again. She stopped crying and fell asleep. I picked her up being careful to fully shield her body with mine. She woke up with my manoeuvre but didn't complain. Keeping my back to the emotional hotbed of anger that was her father, I walked calmly to the kitchen and again shielded her as she went through the doggy door with my urging. I followed her through and led her away. We hadn't gone very far before a media woman started calling out. I told the girl to run to the lady as I walked away as quickly as possible.

A flawless operation it was not. I didn't consider the number of recording devices that were aimed at that house. Having said that, I am not sure I would have done anything differently. The cameraman for the media lady that I directed the girl towards must of captured me on film, but the media have restrictions. It was the bystanders who caught me on film and uploaded the clip to youtube that was the problem. The video went viral.

The father, without his hostage, gave himself up. I was worried that he would kill himself and was relieved to hear the better outcome of my intervention.

I hadn't got out much so I didn't think my appearance was well known, but I couldn't go shopping with Kate and mum while being invisible, so there was a trail that would eventually lead back to mum's house. I kept an eye on the news, so when they described me as a runaway from Sydney, I knew they had matched my picture to my real identity. I packed my clothes and travelling gear into my backpack and dry bag, including my violin and the five hundred dollars that I had left.

Mum and Kate had come home and I explained what had happened. We watched the news together to check the fallout. They had a cute picture of the girl in her mother's arms. The girl called me her angel, which gave me a warm feeling. My mum was proud of me and scared for me. We didn't know what to do, but doing nothing was not a good idea, so we phoned Michael.

Michael explained that he was too far away to immediately help, but he would be on his way. He needed to make a call and then call us back. He had contacted someone he knew in the USA who needed my help. He was suffering PTSD quite badly and under Michael's recommendation had already flown to Adelaide, but was waiting for Michael to introduce him to me. He was staying at a hotel in the city and had now been advised about what had happened. He was there with his wife and daughter and after discussing everything, they suggested I stay with them for the next few days. Michael told us that he hadn't told them about my ability to go unnoticed since he didn't think he would be believed, so I had to turn up in a hoodie and keep my face completely covered.

He assured us that he was working on something that would allow my mum and Kate to be with me, but he needed more time. His phone call made me realise that he hadn't abandoned me and had taken on the role as my protector. His calm confident voice went a long way to make us all feel better but leaving mum and Kate was still hard and emotional. I didn't like hoodies so I had to borrow one of Kate's.

Walking away from mum's house, pretending to be strong for them, only lasted until I knew they were out of sight. I broke down sobbing, sitting with my back against a brick wall with roses blooming above my head. When I managed to get myself together, I made my way to the bus station and eventually to the Hilton. I sent a text message to Byron, who came down in the lift to meet me. It was only when he couldn't find me that I remembered to let my energy out and headed towards him.