Once I was signed in, mom bent down and gave me a kiss on my cheeks, and then she departed. Leaving me along. The air was filled with nervous chatter. Being true to my nature, I slowly backed myself into the nearest corner I could find and cast my eyes toward the gathering crowds. Now, I understand that popular media has painted the picture of events being something akin to mental fencing, with each person propping the others with catty remarks and teasing insults. The tactic favored the most seemed to display some measure of kindness or compassion before doing a complete turn around and slapping somebody upside the head with a backhanded comment. Now, I do consider myself having some pretty thick skin.
I mean, I'm a seasoned veteran of a thousand flame-wars, having endured the perils of the internet since I was old enough to sit behind a keyboard. Great, now “Veteran of the Psychic Wars” Is playing on loop in my head now. Never question the profound wisdom of BOC ( Blue Oyster Cult) but this, this battlefield was different than the ones I've seen in my time. Not only where the formal dress clad boys going at each other's throats, the judges, most of whom where seniors from St. Katherine's Episcopal School where getting in on the fun as well.
“Oh.” One of the girls said as she spotted me, she was wearing her formal school uniform, a blue pleated skirt, a white blouse with a blue neckerchief draped around the collar, white stockings and black faux leather dress shoes. Pinned to her left breast pocket was a silver oval shape badge engraved in the center of the badge were two letters a capital “H” followed by a capital “G”. Okay before I go on, I think I should say something regarding the uniforms of St. Katherine's, there kind of like those found in the Japanese public school system. The girls wear an outfit that consistent of a white blouse, a blue neckerchief that is normally draped around the collar of the blouse, white stockings and black faux leather shoes. Boys wear dark blue trousers, a white shirt, and over the shirt a dark blue, stiff as a board dress jacket with a stiff, high collar and big brass buttons.
“Oh man, I had no idea that Sue had a little sister.” She said moving toward me, as she peered down at me, I could feel her eyes peering into my soul. “Don't you look cute, got those pink sparkling eyes like your big sister, some tasteful make-up and a cute new haircut.” She said shifting her eyes from the top of my head down to my feet and back up again. “I bet the some lucky boy will be having some fun with you tonight. Your not fooling me, I bet under that little princess look, is nothing more than a little slut waiting spread her wings and take off.” She said smirking as she walked.
I blinked and blinked again as I peered toward her, I felt stunned and shocked. From the shadows I heard a chores of giggles escape into the air. And then into the light stepped another girl. She was wearing a cute half sleeve pink dress instead of her uniform. “Oh man, that was totally so harsh.” She said giggling again. She then turned and like the girl before started to size me up.
“But I gotta hand it to you, your the most passing of the lot. So what's your name sweetie?” She said in an overly fake southern accent that makes my skin crawl. Each word that rolled from the tip of her tongue seemed to drip hot acid.
“Daisy,” I said without thinking. “Daisy Isabella Bell.” When choosing my “Girls” name, I had gone with 'Daisy' as the first name, since it was named, my dad's mother had been given. Mom had decided to let me use her first name as my middle and of course the family name was 'Bell'.
Oh that sounds cute, has something of a high class ring to it. And the more I think about it, the more it sounds like a name from a story book, like the name of a Disney princess or something. Short of has an old southern ruling class ring to it. It echoes that if you will.” She then smiled and then she started to move a little closer, lifting her top lip up a little to show her teeth she then leaned in and whispered.
“Okay, listen here princess. Because I'm only going to say this once, so open those big ears and listen good, because I hate having to repeat myself. This right here is no story book, there is no prince charming for you to charm, you might think your going to fool us with that little outfit of yours. But really, your just making yourself look like a pretty little bitch. You think you can waltz in here and throw around your last name and expect us to fall down and kiss the ground you walk on. If so, you got another thing coming sister.” She then reached down and picked up one of the straps of my gown, she then dropped it with a clear look of disgust.
“Damn girl, the Bell's are supposed to be rolling in the dough, and you show up wearing a gown that looks like it came straight from the racks of the local charity shop. Man it even reeks of mothballs. Maybe mommy and daddy are trying to pawn you off to one of the newer, wealthier families, maybe that why they entered you into this little contest, there trying to show off there slutty daughter, cause there oldest is nothing but a dirty tomboy.” She barked a cruel laugh. “Anyway best of luck, I think your going to need it.”
As I watched her walk off, I felt my blood starting to come to a boil in my veins, it seemed I had entered into a hidden world, a world I knew only in passing. In this world, women ruled and they ruled using words, words that stung like wasps or hornets. There words where sharper than swords and they used those words to cut deep into the flesh of their enemies. These sword did not leave scars in the flesh, no they shattered pride into a million and one pieces and left unseen scars on the soul. This was not a battlefield, this was a mental chessboard. And right now, they had me pinned down.
Feeling low in the saddle, I started to wish the ground would open up and swallow me, I was new to these kind of mind games, and my legs where starting to shake, and the corner of my eyes where starting to become moist. The moisture threaten to become tears and those tears threaten to spill over, and just when I thought they would. I felt a warm pair of arms fold over me, a second later, I felt myself being pulled into a bone crushing hug.
“Hey, princess.”A voice said to my side. “Its okay, you got this.” The voice belonged to a female. We'll a female cousin call Linda, Linda Perry was her name. Her mother had been some kin to my dad, either through the main branch of the family or one of the cadet branches. I could never keep the tree straight. It's safe to say that Grandmother Bell and Grandfather Bell had produced a brood of children, and those children were now in the process of producing a healthy crop of grandsons and granddaughters. I often joked it would take a dozen or so well trained scholars, a dozen years to make sense of the tangled web our family tree was quickly becoming. But it made for fun family reunions and holidays.
Anyway, returning to Linda, Linda had been born and raised in Benton. She had the name of being something of a bully in her hometown. But since coming to live with us, she had slowly started to turn over a new leaf. I'll go as far as to say this, I think she has taken to the role of being a big sister like a duck takes to water. She does seem to have quite a history with my other cousin Madeline, the air grows icy cold when there together. You can almost cut the tension with a butter knife.
“I heard those remarks, you gotta let it roll off your back okay? Girls love to play mind games with each other. Boys, okay boys will use their fist okay, like say you got a problem with another boy, you can ask him to step outside and throw down with him. We've romanticized it, hell in the south we love nothing more than a good story about a shrimp, no offense, knocking out the big bull-headed bully, double points if the bully happens to be one the dreaded 'Yankee's. But that in the boy's world. Girls, Girls are not supposed to fight, its not 'Lady' like if you will. So instead of using our fist, we gotta use our words. And I know words sting like hell. But listen, you gotta hold your head up high, I know you want to cry, but you can't. If you start to cry, your make-up will run and you'll go from looking like a princess to looking like a clown, and then every one will join in on the teasing. Its like, sharks smelling blood, they thrive on it.” She said hugging me tighter. “So keep it together and bring home that crown! Don't do it for Benton, do it for yourself! Be the best pretty boy you can be!”
“Five minutes ladies!” Called one the women. “Five minutes till we start! I'll like all guest and supports to please leave the backstage area now! Five minutes and counting.”
I wanted to say something, but I could not find the words.
Linda did though, she reached down and kissed my forehead. “Good luck baby girl.” And with that she was gone. Leaving me once more along, along to face a hostel crowd.
What happened when Linda left me? I don't know. I remember taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. I knew I was alone and I was facing a hostile crowd. The minutes turned to hours and slowly I started to sweat. The girl's running the thing had no remorse or empathy. I was treated like a number. One by one the girls in charge dressed us down, most boys shrugged it off. Most of them had been drafted into wearing a frilly gown and three inch heels. And once they completed their walk across the stage, many left.
But me, I had to stay. And since I was the youngest, I would be the last one to walk across the stage. The minutes seemed dragged on like hours. A panel of judges, most seniors from St. Katherine's Episcopal Academy sat in the front and they grilled the ones walking across the stage. I mean they grilled them and sometimes tore them to shreds. The harder they tore into the poor boys on stage, the more the crowd behind them laughed, hooted and cat-called. Some even whistled and a bunch of boys in the back balcony tried to mimic the rebel yell.
I felt like I was walking on eggshells when one of the staffers walked up to and in a cold, commanding tone of voice said.
“Daisy Isabella Bell.” She said tapping her wooden clipboard. “Your next. I need you to please move your pretty little self from the shadows and get into position by curtain.” She paused. “And before you ask, no, we're not going to drop a bucket filled with pig’s blood on you from a hidden bucket on the catwalk. A bunch of dumb asses have been asking that question all night. Trust me, if we were going to dumb something on you guys, I'll pick something more vial than pig blood.” She said as she walked off.
I blinked and blinked again. It seemed somebody had a twig up her bottom. On second thought maybe it was more than a twig, maybe it was a whole damn forest. Taking a deep breath though I moved toward the edge of the curtain and then I took a deep breath. Somebody else was on stage, and right now the panel of judges were grilling him hard, heck they were picking him apart bit by bit.
I remember catching one of the questions.
“Why did you volunteer for this.. this pageant?” Was the question posed by one of the girls. Who waited for an answer. The stuttering boy responded. “To raise money?” I remember the girl closed her eyes, sighed and leaned back in her chair and started to rub her forehead. That was enough to get the crowd laughing and jeering and hooting. I think the boy wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. I remember feeling very sorry for the boy.
“That all, trust me, joining the circus and donating your wages to the flood relief would raise a heck more money than what you're doing. Anyway five out of ten.” She said finally, and the other ten judges followed suit awarding the boy fifty points. You could tell he was crestfallen because the way he moved when they shooed him away from the center of the stage. I would never forget the look of his eyes, hollow eyes. Ones void of life, ones that had the sparkle gone out of them.
“Its your turn.” He paused and looked dead at me. And the look of his eyes may me pull back. They were blank, totally blank and gazed over. It reminded me of fish that had just been pulled from the water and tossed on the bank. It chilled my blood. He looked like somebody that had been raked over hot coals.
“How bad is it?” I asked swallowing hard.
“They're going to rake you over hot coals.” He said, smiling a little. “You know, most of the relief money is coming from people who brought tickets. They brought those tickets to laugh at boys in dresses. That panel of judges is there to get a response from the crowd. Their going to tear you up.” I then noticed he was crying. And then he vanished.
“We'll.” The spokesman said on the center of the stage. “That was something!” He said, forcing a laugh. “Anyway, please put your hands together for our next lovely contestant, she the belle of high southern society, the second daughter of those wonderful crazy Bells. Please put your hands together and welcome to the stage, Miss. Daisy Isabella Bell!” He shouted in a loud commanding tone of voice.
At that moment, all of the bedlam broke out. The crowd went wild. I went to move and I felt my knees buckle under the weight of my thin one hundred and ten frame. I felt my chest starting to get tight. I clutched the velvet curtain in my trembling hand and took a deep breath.
“That you princess.” A voice from behind me said, It was the same girl from before the one who had made the off humored joke about dropping a bucket of pig blood on me. “Go on, their waiting for you.”
I looked over my shoulder and paused. Then I felt myself getting pushed. And before I could catch myself I was stumbling out onto the stage. The spotlight shone brightly on me and I just blinked. I must have looked quite comical standing there, peering out into the three hundred or so odd faces. A sea of faces.
And then I lost it, for a moment I just stood there peering out at that sea of faces. My mind went blank and I felt myself starting to panic. I looked down and noticed the panel of judges looking up at me, all ten of them drumming their fingers on the wooden box. After a painful moment, a few of them just rolled their eyes and pulled out their phones. No doubt they started texting or checking their social feeds.
“So.” One of them finally after three more minutes had ticked on by. “Are you done or something?” She said looking down at her phone. “Because you've wasted like four minutes just standing there. If you're just going to stand there and look pretty, you can just move on backstage, because we don't want you wasting our time, and your time too.”
“Savage.” A girl next to her said smirking. “You can really burn somebody.” She then turned her attention toward me, her baby blue eyes seemed to twinkle and a very feral smile started to form upon her face. I felt my blood run cold the moment our eyes connected.
“So, sweetie. Before we boo you off stage.” She said in an over the top southern accent. “You mind telling us a little about yourself. Starting with your name, then maybe following up with a little about what you like. Then tell us a little why you decided to enter into this little thing here. And finally, what you hope to do with the rest of your life.”
I swallowed hard.
“Okay my name is Daisy Isabella Bell.” I paused, “I attend St. Katherine's Episcopal Academy, I'm the girly-girl counterbalance to my tomboy big sister whom I just love and adore.” I then paused again. The crowd started to laugh a little and even the judges cracked a small smile. I felt the tide of battle starting to turn in my favor. Linda was right, I could bring home the crown. I just needed to get them to eat from the palm of my hand.
“That not to say I'm not something of a tomboy myself.” I said hitting my stride. “I play soccer with the 'Vicksburg Belle's' since you know. St. Katherine's disbanded their soccer team.” A chuckle ran through the crowd and a few boos. Nobody in my school really wanted to remember that failed venture that lasted only a season. Though much to my surprise one of the judges, a brunette uncapped her marker and wrote a big “14” on her scorecard and held it up. It seemed the judges were allowed an extra four bonus points to reward if they saw fit.
“Of course Grace is going to give her a fourteen.” One of the girls said with a roll of her eyes. That same girl, a blonde with blue eyes also wrote down “14” on her scorecard and held it up. I blinked and blinked again. I was only a few minutes into my counter attack and I had already scored twenty eight points. That was something..
“Also. I'm in anime. I love to cosplay.” I added before I paused again to collect my thoughts. “I also entered into this pageant to help raise money, because I have family being affected by the flood. My cousins, Kayla Brewer, Madeline Brewer and her girlfriend Heather Ford, were forced to leave their homes because of the rising waters. I wanted to help them.. not only did I volunteer to shack sandbags to build a make-shift levee around their house to keep out the rising water. But I helped to move what we could.”
“I just want to raise as much money as possible to help them. And all the family members who are trapped in Benton. I daily pray the Rosary for them.. and their daily prayers to them at the daily Mass.”
Once more a hushed silence had fallen over the room. I expect many of the people were hoping I'll say something funny or fumble through a poorly written speech. Instead, I surprised them I think. I had spoken from the heart and that had stunned them into silence.
“So.” Another girl said. “So what are you going to do with the prize money, if by chance you win and are awarded the title of 'Ms. Jr. Vicksburg'?” Another girl asked.
I did not miss a beat and responded quickly with.
“I would take my family out to eat.” I said smiling. “Including Madeline, Kayla and Heather because they are staying with us. And after all the trauma they've been through. I think they deserve something nice. I mean having to leave your home because of all you have, and not being sure that it would be there when you return. It must be taking a really bad emotional toil on them.”
Another hushed silence fell over the room.
“Okay..” The girl said as she reached down and picked up a marker. “I'm going to go ahead and give you a fourteen.” She said holding up her scorecard. The girl beside her card held up her car. It was ten, and the girl beside her held her card. It was another fourteen, and the girl sitting beside her, who was dappling her eyes with a tissue, held up her card. It was another jaw dropping fourteen. The girl beside her, whom up to this point had only awarded a seven held up a nine. The girl beside her, who had again up to this point rewarded everybody with a big fat zero surprised and shocked us all by holding up a fourteen. She even gave me the thumbs up. And I think caving into peer-pressure the last girls gave me a solid fourteen each.
My mind started to race as I did the mental math, one hundred thirty one points! An amazing total, I had blown the rest of the boys out of the water. It felt I had just scored the winning touchdown, or scored a mind blowing home run, you know the ones you see in the movies, the one where the ball flies over the old cyclone fence that rings the old dirt field and vanishes into the setting sky in a twinkle? Yes it was that kind of feeling.
“Wow.” The girl who had been doing most of the speaking said. “I can't believe it, you scored a total of one hundred thirty one points! And since you're the last one, that means you're the winner.” She said smiling. “So congratulations! On being crowned the very first 'Ms. Jr. Vicksburg'!” She shouted as she started clapping her hands together.
At that moment the whole crowd rose to their feet and started to clap and whistle. It was a bedlam of noise and above the noise and confusion I could hear my own family starting to celebrate. Loudest of them all was my oldest sister, Susan. Who's voice carried over the crowd like a bull horn.
“That my sister!” She shouted. “Go Daisy!” She shouted again. “You rock them girl!” She added again. Then I heard Kayla adding in, her country swag cut through the noise like a hot knife through a stick of warm butter. “You go sweetie! Knew you had it in you!” Then Heather's refined southern voice. “Congratulations Ms. Bell! I'll have to have you at the House Party before long!”
And that my story and I'm sticking with it. What happens next? Nothing much, I was given a crown and a sash, I took a lot of pictures, dad took us out to eat. Though something odd did happen, Madeline kept giving me this look through dinner and late into that night. It was like she was expecting me to say something. Like she was expecting at any moment me to make some big announcement.
But a little after midnight when I was about to turn in, I mean we partied hard into the night, and it was clear everybody had enjoyed themselves a little too much and it was well into the wee hours of the morning when we came stumbling, Sue, Kayla and Heather and Linda crashed the moment we got in. Mom and Dad were.. taking their flirting to the next level and had retreated to the bedroom to do.. nope, I'm not going to think about that.
Anyway after I had removed the gown, hung it up, showered and changed into my night clothing, Madeline appeared in the doorway of my bedroom. She propped herself up against the door frame and gave me a small smile. I blinked, she was giving me a strange look.
“So kiddo, Is Daisy here to stay or was this a once in a lifetime thing?” She asked.
I could only shrug my shoulders.
“Fair, just wanted you to know, I enjoyed having her around. And she can come out anytime she wants.” She then walked up to me and hugged me, “And if you're both. Then I would love both. Just wanted to say I support you, in whatever you decided.” And with that Madeline ruffled my hair and headed off to bed.
Leaving me with a lot to think about.
The End.