Chapter 2 Lexie comes Out

After they had left, I sat down with a coffee to think about what I had committed to. It had all just started off as joining my cousins at the pub quiz, but somehow it now appeared that I had joined them in a lot more than that. I was on the point of deciding that it had all gone too far and ringing Julie to say that I had changed my mind when there was a knock on the door. I was in two minds as to whether to answer it. i was not looking forward to being seen as a man in a skirt and the humiliation that would follow. However I could not hide myself away forever. the girls had told me that I was quite passable as a woman and I had to face the world sometime or just give up.

I looked out from behind the net curtains and saw a supermarket delivery van and decided that it was as safe an option as any other for a test, after all, these guys were normally in a rush and usually just wanted to get the delivery over and done with and get on their way.

“Grocery delivery Pet, where do you want it all put? Some of the bags are quite heavy, I can carry them through to the kitchen for you if you like.”

In a bit of a panic I managed to squeak out “That’ll be great, just drop them on the kitchen table and I’ll sort them out. Sorry for the mess and all the clothes lying around, I’ve just had some friends round and haven’t sorted things out yet.”When he had brought all the bags through I had regained my composure somewhat and with a forced but genuine-looking friendly smile thanked him in what I hoped was a reasonably feminine tone.

“My pleasure Pet, I’ll maybe see you again next week. Enjoy the rest of your day”, he left and went on his way to his next delivery

That seemed to go ok, no shouting of “bloody pervert “or anything like that, no giggles or rolling of the eyes, and I said to myself. “Maybe this will work out.”. Feeling a little more relaxed I stored the groceries away in the cupboard, cleared some space in my wardrobe and drawers and put away all my new clothes. I was soon getting used to the feel of the skirt brushing my legs and my breasts bouncing and swaying as I moved around.

My mind was still a bit on edge, and thinking that I couldn’t concentrate on work, despite what Julie had said I changed into a pair of leggings and some flat walking shoes, put on my anorak and took myself off for a walk up the hills to the top of Chapel Fell.

After the trek to the top I found a big rock to sit on, took off my jacket and admired the views of Teesdale and North Yorkshire to the South, and North over Weardale and the Tyne Valley to the hills of Northumberland beyond. This was a world away from the large urban Midlands conurbation where I had been brought up. I was away from the hustle and bustle and cares of the real world, or so I thought.

“Are you alright bonny lass, you look in a bit of a daze, we were worried about you, sometimes the heat and the exertion can take it out of you?” I looked up to see a middle-aged couple, dressed for a days walk over the hills, carrying backpacks.

“ I’m fine thanks, I was just lost in a bit of a daydream, thinking things through and trying to make sense of my life. Are you heading far?”

“We are generally heading North over to Alston to pick up the Pennine Way again, to end up in border country, but are in no rush and taking it day by day. We were thinking of taking a break soon, do you know anywhere decent to stay the night?”

“You could try the Maltby Arms down in St Johns Chapel, it’s about an hour away, but it’s mostly downhill. It’s run by my cousin Julie and her husband Kelvin. Tell them Lexie sent you and they will see you right.”

“Thanks Lexie, we’re Jan and Mark, we run a guest house down in Lincoln. we’re having a bit of a break, getting lots of fresh air, no stress, and letting someone else look after us for a change. If we get a room at the Maltby Arms, maybe we will see you down there later. Enjoy the beauty and calm of the fells and the peaceful atmosphere up here, sort out your problems and the world will be a much better place.”

I sat there for about and hour, staring at the clear blue sky peppered with fluffy cumulus clouds, listening to the distinctive calls of the Peewits, coming to terms with my life, at least for the next week as a woman, and how I felt about it.

I remembered what Julie had asked about whether I had ever wondered what it would be like to be a woman and decided that, although it had never crossed my mind previously, this was a good opportunity to find out. Except for my cousins, nobody in the village really knew me, even the quiz regulars in the pub walked past me in the street without acknowledgement , not really recognising me.The delivery driver had just accepted me and called me ‘Pet’, Mark had called me ‘Bonny Lass’ and Jane and he had talked with me as if I was another friendly woman they met on their journey. I decided to just accept where I was and get on with things as normal, except for how I was dressed and looked.

I strolled back down to the village and was soon at home, a lot less stressed and confused than I had been when I had left for my walk. Back at home there was a missed call on my phone from Julie, so I gave her a ring back straight away.

“ Hi Julie what are you after?”

“ Firstly, thanks for sending Jan and Mark to us, they liked the room we gave them and booked in for a couple of nights. I was going to ask you how you were getting on, we may have steamrollered you a little bit and pushed you too far too quickly, but Jan was full of talk about the charming girl that they had met on the fell, and they wondered if you wanted to come over and have dinner with them tonight.”

“ I don’t think that is a good idea, it’s one thing having a few minutes casual chat with someone, but it will be a lot harder to be convincing for a couple of hours talking over dinner. Besides, they’ll be asking questions about who I am, where I am from, what I do for a living, and things like that, what am I going to tell them?”

“ Just tell them the truth, except for the fact that you are really Alexander, not Lexie. The more you keep to the truth, the less likely you are to slip up. They seem a nice couple and I am sure that you will be alright with them. If you get uncomfortable or flustered I will just be behind the bar and can come over and rescue you.”

“I suppose that you are right, what harm can it do, they are strangers passing through, please tell them that I will be down there later. I’ve been up on the fells, so I’ll need to have a shower and get changed. I’ll be ok with Jan and Mark, but what about the regulars, won’t I get recognised, I don’t want any embarrassing scenes.”

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry, you are so like me and my sisters that anyone will probably just think that you are another one of us.”

“ I’m new to all this, what should I wear?”

“ You are definitely adjusting to life as a woman asking that. Put on that sky-blue peasant top and the cream summer skirt, and don’t forget fresh underwear too. If you are walking down to here you need comfortable shoes, just wear the sandals you had on earlier.”

I stripped off, put my hair up and wore a shower cap to try to keep the style that Jane had done for me, cleaned off my makeup and was soon feeling relaxed and fresh in the shower, washing away all my cares and worries. It was too early to get ready to go out, so I put on a fresh pair of panties and a towelling dressing gown that they had left me, while I sorted myself out.

I decided to have a go at painting my nails, as far as I could remember, the girls always had theirs done, and it would look odd if I didn’t bother. I gave them a good file to try to get a decent shape to them before covering them with a soft red polish they had left me. The first two goes were streaky and a complete mess, so I just cleaned them down and had another try. This time they turned out not too bad and I decided to do my toes too, they were a lot easier and turned out fine first time.

I tried to remember all the make-up tricks Jane had used on my face, but it did not turn out nearly as good as when she had done it. I thought “That is good enough, it will do.”, but then had second thoughts that “If i am going to do this, I need to learn to make a good job of it.”, cleaned it all off and started again. I suddenly realised that the time had flown by and that I needed to get dressed and make my way down to the pub for dinner. I quickly put on a clean bra, my skirt, top, and sandal, sgrabbed a handbag, put in my wallet, keys, phone and a few feminine essentials and set off .

I nervously walked down to the village, keeping an eye out for anyone who might recognise me, and stopped for a few minutes outside the door to the pub to catch my breath and build up the nerve to go in. I almost turned back, Julie however must have been looking out for me and rushed over, took my hand and tried to lead me in,

“ Come on in Lexie, it’s no good just standing out here.”

“ I can’t Julie. I am not ready for this and don’t feel comfortable.”

“Don’t be daft Lexie, Jan and Mark are waiting for you. You’re looking gorgeous, just like the rest of the Robson lasses, just get in there and act as if it is completely normal for you, something you do every day,.walk slowly and hold your head up high, come in, smile, and enjoy yourself.”

I was greeted with a hug from Jan and a light kiss from Mark. “We’re so glad you could join us, this is a delightful little country inn and Julie and Kelvin rhaveeally made us welcome, thanks for suggesting that we stay here. Would you like a drink before we order the food?”

I was just about to tell him what I would like when Kelvin came over with a large glass of Sauvignon blanc. “Just your normal Lexie, Pet, sit yourself down and Julie will be over in a few minutes to take your food order.” he said with a sneaky wink on their blind side.

I sat down and made myself comfortable tugging at the hem of my skirt as girls always seemed to do to ensure their modesty, and was struggling to think how to start the conversation.

“What do you recommend, Lexie, you must know what is best on the menu?”

“ Whatever you fancy really Jan, it is all tasty and well cooked. The dish of the day, the lamb casserole, is always good, the meat is from all the free-ranging sheep you have seen on the way down from the fell, and the veg is either home-grown or from someone in the village, no food miles and no big processing plants involved,.”

I waved over to Julie, and ordered three lamb casseroles, and as she left she gave me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and mouthed silently “You are doing great, just relax.”

It was a pleasant meal, most of the conversation about walks they had covered and where they planned to go next, as well as general chat about who we all were, and what we did. As Julie had suggested I was quite open about my background, keeping as near to the truth as I could..

“You are obviously not from round here Lexie, Midlands I reckon, what led you up into the wilds.” Jan asked.

“Call of my genes really, my forefathers lived in the village and when I was looking to move I thought that I would like to see where they moved away from, and find out a bit more about them. I’ve only been here a few weeks, but I’ve found long-lost family and been accepted into the community, I’m beginning to feel this is home already.”

“ What exactly is it you do?”

“ As I have told you, I’m an artist, mainly commercial technical stuff, but since coming here I have been doing a few landscapes as an escape and to satisfy my more artistic leanings, some of the paintings of the village hanging around the bar area are mine.”

“Did you do the one near the door, the ‘Cathy and Heathcliffe’ one? It really shows the stark grandeur of the fells around here and the two lovers rushing to meet really bring the scenery to life. I think it’s just lovely”

“ Yes, that is the first one I did when I settled here. Thank you so much, I really appreciate you saying that.”

“ This may sound a bit crass, but is it for sale, we would love to have it?”

“ That one actually belongs to Julie, the Landlady, you will have to ask her. However I assume that she will want to keep it as it has family significance, the girl in the picture is her great grandmother, and a great aunt of mine, a few generations back.”

“How wonderful for you all, you haven’t made any prints of it have you?”

“ No but my cousins want copies, I was going to just paint new ones, but it is getting to the stage where a print run might be easier. One way or another, I will get a copy to you, I assume Julie has your address and everything.”

“ We look forward to it.”

“I understand that you are staying for a couple of nights before continuing your walk,. There are some charming villages further down the dale, Frosterley , Stanhope and Wolsingham, it may be worthwhile having a look around while you are here.”

“Thanks for your company Lexie we have enjoyed meeting you, we may see you around tomorrow, if not take care and enjoy your new life here.”

“ Thank you for the meal and drinks it was a kind thought to ask me to join you, maybe we’ll see each other again before you move on.”

I want over and said goodnight to Julie and Kelvin and he took me aside. “Julie and the girls have done a really good job on you, but don’t let them push you too far, I know how persuasive they can be when they get bees in their bonnets. You actually look quite attractive, you certainly have a lot of the same genes as them, and you seem relaxed with people, but don’t forget who you really are.”

I left the bar a lot happier and more confident than when I had entered, and really pleased at how I had done, made my way home, thinking about what Kelvin had said to me..

I noticed when I had unpacked all the things that Julie and Jane had included a couple of light nighties. I thought that as I was stuck with my breast forms that I would strip off to just my panties and wear one of them, a light cotton mid-thigh floral patterned material with a sweetheart neckline and half sleeves. It fitted me well and was quite comfortable as I walked around to put everything away and go off to the bathroom to clean off all my makeup and tie up my hair in a high pony tail to try to keep it tidy overnight.

Probably with all the excitement of the day, the walk up the fell and the stress of my first time out in a skirt, I was exhausted and fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. That night I had a dream of Aunt Charlotte walking up to me, smiling with open arms outstretched, embracing me, before walking off into the mist.

I woke with a start, hearing someone at the front door and slowly made my way to see who was there. I saw Jan, and still half asleep and forgetting how I was dressed, I opened the door to her.

“ Hi Lexie, you left your bag at the pub last night, I told Julie that we were heading out this way and would drop it off for her to save her a trip.”

My brain had now come into focus and I suddenly remembered about last night and the way I was dressed and luckily answered her in what was my new female voice.

“Thanks ever so much Jan, I would have been wondering later what had happened to it. Apologies for answering the door to you dressed like this but I was still asleep when you knocked. Do you want to come in for a coffee or anything?”

“ No thanks, we had breakfast at the pub, we’ll be on our way for the day, and leave you in peace to get yourself together.”

I had been in the middle of another vivid dream about Charlotte up on the moor, but with the sudden shock awakening, I couldn’t remember many details. I quickly dressed, it felt strange to be putting on a bra and skirt, with a linen gypsy blouse, but as Julie had said, it needed to become second-nature to me. Whereas yesterday I had been constantly aware of what I was wearing, today it was becoming unremarkable and I got got on with things, oblivious to what I was had on.

To be continued.

Chapter 5 The Date

I was now seriously into painting the industrial landscapes and was building up quite a portfolio on the website run by the printers, and sales were going well, the income was now more than enough to pay my household bills. Lexie Robson was gathering a cult following amongst a lot of the art world, and even some well-known smart London Galleries were buying the prints and selling them at a lot higher price than I was getting from the website sales. I had given a set of prints of the images of Killhope to the museum there and they ordered more in various sizes for sale in their shop. Along with continuing to use the Maltby Arms as my personal gallery my studio was becoming a feature of the local tourist trail.

As some of the industrial heritage paintings were quite a niche market I started on other general historic sites, the Roman forts on Hadrians Wall; the ruined Abbeys and Monasteries, relics of the reformation under Henry VIII; National Trust Country Houses; the numerous castles in Northumberland and Cumberland, remnants of the border skirmishes with the Scots: and some of the glorious landscape vistas that I passed through on my travels to the various sites.

Living as Lexie was now becoming normal for me, wearing skirts, dresses, and the occasional leggings or women’s trousers was just an accepted part of my daily life, and I rarely thought that I was doing anything out of the ordinary. I was sleeping soundly, uninterrupted by dreams of visits from Charlotte, and life was generally calm and good.

One morning as i was working in my studio, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call from Jim at Eggheads. “Hi Lexie, the show with you’ll on should be broadcast the week after next, keep an eye out for it in the schedules and get your DVR set up for it.”

“Thanks for letting me know Jim, do you do that for everybody?”

“No, just for ones we are particularly keen on and the ones who do well. That is not the real reason I called though, I was thinking would you like to get together for a drink or a meal sometime, it would be nice to meet up again?”

I was totally flustered, although I had now been living as Lexie for a few months, it had not even entered my head that anyone would be interested in me in that way. I needed time to think about it and decide whether it was fair to lead him on with him thinking I was a woman, it suddenly brought my situation back into my mind again.

“Thank you so much for thinking about me Jim, I truly appreciate it but I am throwing myself into my work at the moment, and I am not sure if I have the time to spare.”

“Oh, come on Lexie, you need to have a break sometime, you know what they say ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’or in your case ‘Jill a dull girl.”

“You’re right Jim, that was a bit sharp of me, it will be really good to see you again. How about if I meet you at The Bay Horse in Wolsingham, just for the moment I would like to keep away from St John’s Chapel.”

“I know the place, it sounds ideal. Are you free on Monday, at 7:30?”

“I’m looking forward to it, it will be a nice change.”, little did he know how much of a change it was for me.

I called Josie and arranged to go round to see her as there was a favour I wanted to ask from her. Half an hour later, after quickly changing and freshening my make up I made my way round to her place.

“ What’s all this big secret about Lexie?”

“ I’ve agreed to do something and I am not sure if I am doing the right thing.”

“Stop messing about, just come out with it, you can’t keep me dangling on a string like this.”

“I had a call from Jim, you remember him from the Eggheads. Well, he asked me out for a drink and I agreed to meet him.”

“ And? Why do you so desperately need to tell me this?”

“In case you have forgotten Josie, although I might look and dress as a female and even talk and act like a woman, I am a man, and there is no future in any relationship, so why bother and just lead him on?”

“Just think Lexie, for many months now you have been living totally as a woman, everyone accepts you as a woman, unless you are intending to soon return to life as a man, you need to start thinking like one too. Jim is attractive, pleasant, a bit of a charmer, and he obviously likes you as you are. What is stopping you going for a drink and an evening out with him, you might enjoy it?”

“I’m new to dating as a woman, in fact it is a long time since I dated as a man come to think of it, and I am not sure how to deal with it.”

“Why not give it a try, what harm can one night out do, I’m sure that he will be as nervous as you, and he won’t be expecting you to jump into bed with him.”

“Will you do me a favour? Can you and Russell ‘accidentally’ bump into us and make up a foursome, I will be a lot more comfortable? I’m meeting him in the Bay Horse next Monday.”

“Ok, I’m sure that Russell will go along with that. It will be a pleasant change to go out in a group, not that we need company to keep us amused, it just is nice to mix with someone else occasionally.”

“As I said, this is all new for me, what should I wear, what do we talk about. and how do I behave with him, it’s all so confusing? My mind is all over the place about this, I’m still not sure that I am doing the right thing.”

“Don’t be daft, you need to get out a bit more, other than the weekly quizzes you are locking yourself away working in your studio. You don’t need anything too dressy, but that’s exactly the right question girl, maybe you are more switched on than you realise. Nothing too fancy, just smart, like the stuff you wear for the quizzes down at the pub, but maybe a light blouse rather than the tops you normally have on. Let me know later what you are wearing and I will try not to outshine you. When you are out with us girls, you join in the chat like the rest of us, just be yourself, or yourself as Lexie, and the conversation should just flow. Ask him about his work, men always like that, and act like you are really interested in what he does, ask about his family and friends, When we arrive, if you are unsure just follow what I am doing. Another question for you though, why come to me rather than Julie, you seem to spend most time with her?”

“Oh, that’s easy, I wanted a double-date, you are still in the game, and it is not unusual for you and Russell to have a night out. With the others there would be all sorts of questions from their husbands. I’ll give you a call to let you know what I am wearing and I’ll see you there at 7:45, if you arrive a bit later than us it will seem to be an accidental meeting.”

After a walk-on the fell on Sunday afternoon to clear my head of the doubts I still had as to whether I was doing the right thing, my evening was spent getting ready for my date with Jim, removing all my body and leg hair, covering myself with moisturising body lotion. painting my fingernails and toenails, and then setting my hair in rollers. I thought back to how much easier life was as Leckie, a quick shower, brush my teeth, and I would be ready to face the world.

As Josie had suggested I did not want to appear too dressy, I just put on a cream knee-length straight skirt with side slits and a cyan half-sleeved v-neck satin blouse, which Josie called stylish and sophisticated when I called her to let her know what I had chosen.

When I arrived at the Bay Horse, I entered nervously, it was almost like being a teenager again on a first date, which in some ways it was, it was my first time out other than with the girls, but I just took a deep breath and made my way inside. Jim was already there sitting at a window alcove table and he waved me over, stood up to greet me with a kiss on the cheek, and went to the bar to order drinks.

“I’ve been here for a while, I didn’t want you to arrive and be on your own, I know that a lot of women are not comfortable sitting in bars by themselves, you can be a target for all the boys that are trying to impress their mates by chatting you up.”

“That’s very gallant of you, but you are right, even if they don’t come over to say anything, you can feel their eyes on you, checking you out. Anyway, we are both here now, tell me a bit about yourself, Other than the fact you like quizzes and are involved in TV productions, I know nothing about you.”

Jim was very easy to talk with and we soon knew a lot more about each other. We were comfortably chatting away, and the time quickly passed. I didn’t really notice that Josie and Russell had not arrived, and in a way I forgot all about them, I was enjoying my time with Jim too much.

“Is that one of your cousins that has just come in, over there by the bar?”

Josie was looking around and caught my eye, and walked over to us.

“Hi Lexie, this is a nice surprise, do you mind if we join you or would you rather be alone?”

“Of course Josie, come and sit down. This is Jim, from Eggheads, remember, we’re just out for a quiet drink together, you are not interrupting anything.”

Russell came over with a tray of drinks, he must have looked over to see what Jim and I were drinking, or asked the bar staff, because he got it right. I introduced the guys to each other and we had a quick chat before Josie got up and headed to the ‘Ladies’, “Are you coming too Lexie, there is something I need to tell you?”

When we were safely out of hearing she smiled at me. “How is it going you seem to be getting on ok? Do you want us to hang around or would you rather we say that we have to be somewhere and leave you alone? Sorry, by the way, for being an hour late, I thought that we would let you have a bit of time together first.”

“To be honest, i didn’t realise how much time had passed, we were just enjoying getting to know about each other.”

“That’s a good sign, he seems like a nice bloke, just take it slowly with him though.”

We freshened our makeup and went back to the table and for the next couple of hours we all got on famously, there was a constant chatter between us and it was a shame when it was time to leave.

With hugs and kisses and a whispered” Are you alright being left with him?” from Josie, they left us in the car park.”

“Thanks so much Lexie, I’ve enjoyed tonight, can we do it again sometime soon?”

“Of course we can, give me a call.” I replied, reaching up to put my arms around his neck and drawing him in for passionate kiss. I hadn’t planned that , it just seemed the right thing to do, and I think it surprised him, he didn’t seem to be expecting that.

With a bit of a blush from the kiss, which had sent a shiver of excitement down me, I made my way back to my car and sat for a few minutes just to collect my thoughts and consider what I had just done. When we had planned tonight’s accidental meeting, Josie had told me that i needed to start thinking like a woman, but that kiss had taken it further and I had actually felt like a woman at that moment. As I drove off, I noticed that Jim pulled away after I was on my way, having seen that I had got away safely, it gave me a warm feeling that he was being protective towards me.

I was soon safely home, cleaned up and ready for bed and lay there my mind buzzing thinking about Jim and that kiss. I didn’t know what had driven me to it, but I knew that at that moment I had approached the point of no return, and for the first time began to accept that it wasn’t just convenience that kept me living as a woman, but that it seemed the right thing for me to be doing.

As I was dropping off to sleep , I had a vision of Charlotte standing at the end of my bed.

“Let me sit with you Alexandra, You are beginning to discover where your life may lead you, but I can help you understand a bit more about why you are here.”

“Are you driving me to becoming a woman? Is this a hatred of men for what James did to you?”

“ Far from it Alexandra, I am not forcing you to do anything, any choices you make are your decision, I am just showing you options for what path your life can take. You make a beautiful woman, you have inherited all the best features of the Robson family. You have now with that kiss tasted some of the pleasures of womanhood, enjoy them while you can.”

“Why pick me, Charlotte, there must have been others in your family who could have discovered the truth of you and James.”

“ The truth does not just affect me Alexandra it has influenced your life too.”

“I don’t understand.”

“ Let me put two images in your mind which will help to explain your connection to me.”

I had a vision of James and another man having a fight, which was broken up by several bystanders who gave the other man a severe beating, and left him rolling in agony on the ground. The second image was of Charlotte hugging a younger man who then walked away carrying a small suitcase.

“When Harold, my brother, your great-grandfather found out what James had done to me, he went over to Killhope to have it out with him,.They had a big argument and a fight started between James and him, but some of the mine workers joined in and beat Harold almost to death. As he walked away James told him. ‘If you know what is good for you and your family, I never want to see your face again, get out of my sight and away from the dale.’ Harold managed to get back home, crawling and limping and collapsed at the door. It was a few weeks before he fully recovered from his beating and was able to get about again. He told us about the threat to the family if he did not leave the dale and decided that it would be best if he went away. He packed his few belongings and left, never to return.”

“ So, that is how my family came to be living in the Midlands, well out of the reach of the Graham family?”

“ So you see, it is not only the wrong that James did to me that needs to be righted, but what happened to Harold too. He was forced away from his home and his family. At first there was the occasional letter from him but they did not last long. Until you came back to Manor Lodge to reunite our family, we had no idea of what had befallen him. He did not even dare to return for the Christening when Arthur was born a few months later, he never got to meet his nephew. Think about what I have told you and we will talk again.” She just faded from sight then, leaving me totally confused, I had never before believed in the spirit world or ghosts, but it was too vivid and detailed to just be my imagination in a dream. I slept fitfully, and every time I woke up my mind was buzzing with all the things Charlotte had said, and I was not particularly refreshed as I made my way down to the kitchen in the morning, when I was interrupted by the phone tones.

“ Hi Lexie, you seemed to be getting on well with Jim last night, Russell and I saw you in the car park before we drove off. I know I told you to start thinking like a woman, but you don’t do things by halves do you, that wasn’t just a friendly goodnight and thank you kiss, was it? Are you seeing him again?”

“I guess so Josie, I mean I hope so, I’m glad you convinced me to have a night out with him, I really enjoyed being with him. He said he would give me a call to arrange something else soon. Are you going down for the quiz tonight, there is something more I need to tell you all about Charlotte’s story?”

“I wasn’t going to but now that you have given me that teaser, I have no choice, I’ll see you there later.”

As all the girls were there, Julie agreed to help Kelvin behind the bar, leaving the other four of us to do the quiz. As was now becoming regular, we won again and Julie came to join us with our prize, 3 bottles of Sauvignon Blanc, and a collection of clean glasses.

Josie was not going to let me tell my story in my own time and immediately took over the conversation. “ Right, Lexie, you have kept me on tenterhooks far too long, what is it that you promised to tell us.”

“After I got home from my night out with Jim I….”

“ What night out with Jim and who is he?” interrupted Jane, “You kept that quiet.”

“Jim, from the Eggheads, he called a few days ago and asked me out for a drink. I just met him for a drink and Josie and Russell happened to turn up at the same place. Anyway, I’ll tell you about that later”

“You are going to do that, we want all the details.”

“As I was saying, after I got home and into bed last night, I had another visit from Charlotte, and you may not like what I have to say Josie. Apparently my great-grandfather Harold was badly beaten by James and some of his workers and was forced to leave the area after he confronted him about the way he had treated Charlotte, which is why my side of the family have been living down in the Midlands for the last hundred years or so. So Charlotte is not only asking me to right the wrong done to her, but also trying to welcome me back into the family, which Harold was forced to abandon. That is why she has chosen me me to help her change the destiny of us all. So maybe.James was not just manipulated by his family but that he was knowingly leading Charlotte on and using her, and was not the nice kind genuine lover that we thought he was.”

“That’s a bit of a turn-up, I had a bit of sympathy for him, but, if you are right, he doesn’t deserve it. and maybe it was best that the two families drifted apart and never joined together.” Jane snapped back scowling

Josie sat quietly considering what I and Julie had said. “ But you have met Russell, he is not like that, I am not going to let something that happened 100 years ago spoil what I think of him, just because his ancestors were not nice people doesn’t mean that he is the same.”

“Josie, Has Russell found out any more from his family about the story of James and Charlotte?”

“Not a lot, his parents didn’t know anything about a family scandal, and his grandparents just quickly changed the subject when it was brought up. Obviously they knew something but didn’t want to talk about it, so everything you think you have discovered is all probably true.”

“ Ok,I think that is all there is to that at the moment, now you have to tell us all about Jim, come on girl, spill the beans.” Jane was not going to let the matter of my date drop, and I told them all about the call from him, and meeting him and getting to know him better.”

“You forgot to mention the goodnight snog as you were leaving Lexie.” Josie smiled and brought a blush to my cheeks.”

“It just seemed to be the natural thing to do at the end of a really pleasant night with him.”

“Are you trying to tell us that you didn’t enjoy it, because if you are, I for one don’t believe you. You are becoming more of a girl every day Lexie, I find it hard to think of you as a man anymore.” Jeanette completed the questioning of me.”

Lying in bed later I thought about their reactions. They were just treating me as one of their girl friends now expecting me to continue going out with Jim. Was this what I really wanted, to live my life like any other woman, or was I just playing at it, I really needed to seriously consider my future.

To be continued.

This story revisits many of the characters and locations found in the first story in this series. The story can be read stand-alone, but it may be more enjoyable if you first visit or revisit ‘A Walk to a New Life’, which is listed on my stories page. Whatever you choose, I hope that you enjoy it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

See things through a woman’s eyes

I opened the parcel recently returned from my publishers and with great disappointment read the letter it contained.

Dear Mr. Sinclair, we are sorry to advise you that we do not think that this novel ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ will appeal to the reader base at which it is aimed, Whilst the basic storyline of a summer romance at the resort of Maladroxia on the historic Sardinian island of Sant’Antioco is appealing, and the descriptions of the settings are very evocative of the island, we consider that a lot of the personalisation is weak, particularly for the main female characters.

Charles Haughton,
Abernethy & Carter

“Who on earth do these people think they are? I am arguably the most successful author on their books. I have written over 20 novels and they are stocked in all the major bookshops and are on the shelves of virtually every public library Telling me that my characterisation is weak is insulting.” I almost screamed at my sister Kirsty.

‘Calm down Rory, it is no good shouting at me. you have been very successful up to now, but this book is a bit different for you. All your books up to now have been crime thrillers, this is your first go at romantic fiction, you could not have expected to get it perfect first time.”

“ But it is a beautiful setting, it has a gorgeous heroine, a ruggedly handsome hero, an on-off-on-off-on-again will-they-wont-they, relationship between the two. The writing is up to my normal quality, I don’t understand what more they could want and what they don’t like.”

“I know that you do not normally like me to see your unedited manuscripts, but let me read it and give you my opinion. After all, it is a romance, and it is aimed at a female readership market. Treat me as a female test-driver for it, it sounds like the sort of book I would normally go for.”

“ That seems like a good idea, but treat the manuscript carefully, at the moment I am inclined to go touting it around other publishers rather than do major changes. This has really got me wound up, I am going for a walk up in the hills for a couple of hours to clear my head, and when I get back we can go into Taynuilt for something to eat. I’m really glad we left the city to move out here once my writing started to bring in decent money, it is just so relaxing and good for the soul and some time alone wandering in the hills always calms me down.”

Kirsty and I are twins, obviously not identical but we share a lot of genes and are more or less the same size and colouring. We had been brought up in Dean Village just off the city centre of Edinburgh and in our formative years enjoyed the bustle of vibrant city life together, and later with our partners.

Mainly caused by my self-absorption when writing, my wife, Karen, had justifiably got fed up with the lack of attention and she and I had separated and I had just thrown myself into my work and my personal social life was non-existent. About the same time Kirsty’s husband had run off with his secretary and this left her disillusioned with men, so when the royalties started coming in from my early novels, we decided to have a new start. We had always been close as children and in our youth. Although we both had lots of friends, we were always happy and content in each other’s company. Our parents had moved to New Zealand a few years previously and neither of us had been blessed with children, so we had no close family ties to keep us in ‘Auld Reekie” and were easily able just to sell up and move without having to worry about anyone else. We left the hustle and bustle of the city behind for an extensive rather grand country house on the banks of the Firth of Lorn near Oban in the Western Highlands.

There, we had no immediate neighbours, we had the mountains behind us and the front garden swept down to the sea loch with views out to the hills of the Western Isles beyond. It provided the ideal setting for the peace and quiet I needed when writing, and with Kirsty acting as my business manager, accountant and housekeeper we were both content with our unencumbered and uncomplicated life.

I drove out to the train station at Falls of Cruachan, left my car there and took the well defined path through the woods up to the dam holding back the reservoir serving the Cruachan hydro-power station, walked around the reservoir up to the top of Stob Dàimh with its wonderful views back over as far as the hills behind Loch Lomond, and after sitting there brooding for a while, made my wayback down again. When I got back home I was relaxed and in a much calmer frame of mind, the mountain air and a bracing walk always eased away my cares and worries.

“You know what Rory, this is quite good and is very readable, I am already into the third chapter and am really enjoying it.” Kirsty greeted me as I walked in. “I should have it finished tomorrow or the day after, let me read it through to the end before we talk about it. Let’s get ready and go down for a drink and something to eat in Taynuilt, I think you are ready to face the world again now that you have calmed down.”

Down at the Inn it was not a busy night, it was late season and there were not many tourists about, so we ended up chatting to a couple of what counts as neighbours in these parts, Susan and Jamie MacDougall. Susan was also a writer, mainly travel guides and clan history books, and she and her wife Jamie lived at Inverawe about 3 miles from us. Jamie was a web designer and we used her to keep my IT system, social media, and website up to date.

“Rory has just finished another novel, a bit different this time, a romance set in Sardinia, it is a big change from his normal crime thrillers. His publishers were not too impressed and have asked for a rewrite, but I’ve started reading it and am getting engrossed in it.” Kirsty told them despite knowing that I liked to keep my books under wraps until they were published.”

“ Susan, as a fellow writer have you got the time to read it and give us a professional opinion.”

“ It is not really my area of expertise, but if Rory doesn’t mind I would be happy to do that for you.”

“ That’s brilliant we’ll email a copy of the draft over to you when we get home.”

Three days later we all got together again at our house to review ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ sitting on the terrace overlooking the garden and the Firth, making the most of the evening Spring sun, taking in the calming smell of the sea and watching the gulls and cormorants soaring overhead. Despite the unusually mild weather, the amusing views of the sea otters basking just off the shoreline and the wine we had shared, I was on edge and uneasy awaiting their thoughts on the book and was not really enjoying myself.

“ Ok girls, what do you think? I want you to be honest, because my publisher was not too impressed, but I don’t know whether it was just his man’s take on a romantic novel aimed at women?”

As she felt that she could be more open with me than our friends and neighbours, Kirsty jumped in first.

“I loved the main themes of the book, the storyline and the details of their meeting on the beautiful mediterranean island, but I agree with the publishers that the heroine of the story, Katherine, all submissive and swooning and pining for her man, is like something out of Mills & Boon or Barbara Cartland, and is out of touch with the way modern young women think.”

“ I thought the same,” added Susan, “ nowadays women are much more independent and self-reliant, and although they still fall head-over-heels in love, and can be silly about it, it is much more on their terms, thinking about how it affects their careers and the way they live.”

Jamie decided to soften it a bit by changing direction.

“ It is no secret around here that i am transgendered, and coming here, being nursed back to health by Susan, and developing into the woman I now am, gives me a bit of a view from both sides of the gender divide. As a man, I thought a lot like you and would view the strengths and weaknesses of Katherine in very much the same way you have. However, living and experiencing
the world of women my whole approach is now much different.”

“ What do you mean by that?” I interrupted her.

“If you read some of Susan’s clan histories, you will see that, when the men were more interested in settling old feuds and fighting their battles, their strong-willed determined womenfolk were scheming behind the scenes to keep their families and clan safe and secure. You can read a lot of historical tracts about all the successes of the menfolk, but the supportive and often very significant assistance of their women was never fully recorded. I have found that women have always been the glue holding families together, often pushy and feisty, keeping their men on the straight-and-narrow.”

“Are you saying that men have only been successful because they have been pushed along by their womenfolk.”

“Just think about how successful Susan has been with her writing, and how much you depend on Kirsty to manage your business affairs. women have never changed, but now the way they are seen and portrayed in literature and film has moved on from Victorian times and reflects a new positive reality. Barbara Cartland’s heroines are few and far between these days, Katherine needs to reflect that, and to appeal to your women readers, you really need to change her character.”

“ Wow, Jamie, that was quite a critique, I need to think about what you have just said.”

“ As your business manager, I couldn’t agree more. you have been successful with your crime novels, because as an ex-policeman, and as a man, you had the experiences to build familiar attitudes and personalities into your characters. You knew how they would think and act and you were able to transfer your life history into your heroes. However you are now writing to appeal to women and if you want to succeed, you have to learn to think more like a woman, see things through their eyes.” Kirsty really started pushing me.

“ She’s right,” Jamie added, “When I first came here I was very much the man, with all the male attitudes, but gradually living, socialising, and working with women, and finally deciding that’s how I wanted to live my life, I have seen a totally different side to the female character, but unfortunately it is one that as a man you can never experience and incorporate into your writing.”

“ Are you saying, Jamie, that only women can write for women, and that men always characterise women as weak, I can’t agree. There have been many great examples of male authors writing very successful novels and plays featuring strong female main characters, Shakespeare was able to be very successful at that, with Portia in The Merchant of Venice, Katherina in The Taming of the Shrew and even Lady Macbeth.”

“ You are right, but there was a change in Victorian times for authors to portray women as weak and submissive to reflect attitudes in society at the time, but attitudes have moved on, women have moved on, and the way you have Katherine and the other women in your book think and act needs to move on too, if you want to make a success of your new style of books. As a fellow author, albeit in a totally different sphere of literature, i can tell you that you have to reflect the attitudes and lifestyle of your readers” Susan finished of for them, “you need to think about how you can achieve that.

“ Wow, girls, I did ask you to be honest, but that was a bit hard hitting. I have taken in what you have said, and obviously need to think about it all.”

We enjoyed the rest of the evening with general social chat, watching the glorious sunset over the hills and islands to the West, with me deep in thought, before it was time for Susan and Jamie to return home.

Over breakfast the next morning with Kirsty I raised the subject of yesterday’s conversations.

“ I have been tossing and turning all night thinking about what the three of you said. I have lots of ideas for storylines, but if I can’t get my characters right, it is never going to work. I will have to go back to writing the crime novels, even though I feel I was getting a bit stale at that and running out of fresh ideas. Obviously you can correct or adapt a lot of my ideas, but it is not the same as if it is all coming directly from my thoughts and approach. Somehow I need to tune my mind in to yours, Susan’s and Jamie’s. Let’s see if we can all get together a bit more often, not to discuss anything in the books but just so that I can find out what you are interested in and what your attitudes are, listen to what you are saying and how you express yourselves about life in general. What do you think?”

“ I think it will do you good, you have never been particularly at ease in the company of women, and if you don’t mind me saying so, there was always a gulf in understanding between you and Karen, and I can understand why she felt that you had to separate. Let’s start with the basics, if you are writing for women and need to get into their mindset, you have to learn to think of yourself as a women. I obviously don’t mean going through transition like Jamie, but you need to be reminded that you should be thinking like a woman. You need a woman’s name, both to help with the writing, but also for when the books are published. Believe me, when I am browsing in bookshops or libraries I automatically tend to pick out books by female authors. Have you got any preferences?”

“ It has never really crossed my mind, but I always felt that Mum’s name, Samantha, was a very feminine name and ‘Samantha Sinclair’ has a ring to it.”

“ Ok Samantha it is, and from now on that, or Sammie, is what I shall call you when we are not in company. You need to sit and watch some RomCom and weepy films with me, listen to what the female characters say and how they react to events, and listen to more daytime TV, which is mainly aimed at women. to hear the kind of things that interest them and form their attitudes. You don’t necessarily have to like what you are watching , or even agree with the things they say and do, but you have to at least understand where they are coming from.”

“So far, so good, I can go along with all that.”

“Next, to give you constant reminders of who you are writing for and the attitudes that your characters should have, I suggest that you wear a skirt when writing. It is a totally feminine garment and every time you stand up or sit down and have to adjust it, it will tell you who you are supposed to be. I have a few skirts which should be suitable for you, they have adjustable waistbands so should fit you comfortably. I think that should do for a start and get you thinking in a bit more of a feminine frame of mind. Come on Sammie, let's go and have a look at what you can have and we can sit down and watch one of my DVDs to start your brain-washing.”

In the morning I was wearing a black pencil skirt and open-toed, sling-back sandals that Kirsty had found for me, nothing over-the-top, just enough to channel my thoughts. I re-read ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ and began to understand what they had all meant. The heroine, Katherine, was quite timid and shy, and not the sort who would go off to a remote island by herself for the summer.

I went off for a walk in our large garden all the way down to the sea and a small beach on the Firth and sat on a bench to gather my thoughts and work out how I could easily change Katherine’s character without altering the basic storyline.“

“Hi Sammie, you do realise that you have been down to the beach wearing a skirt, don’t you, it is just as well that we are quite remote and private here?” Kirsty smiled at me on my return.

“Oh, I didn’t realise, I was so deep in my thoughts about the book. Still it was nice and pleasant walking down there in a skirt, the breeze cooling my legs and the lack of trousers rubbing against me, I actually felt very comfortable and did not even think about what I was wearing.”

“ Have you had any more thoughts about the changes you are going to make to Katherine.”

“ I think I have a few new ideas, after lunch I will sit down for a few hours and go through the book again.”

We were clearing up after a quick lunch and I was about to go off to my study, when Kirsty stopped me.

“I’ve just had another idea, I was just refreshing my lipstick after the meal and I thought that wearing some might help you to to get into the mood, after all it is a very feminine thing to do and the taste of it on your lips won’t let you forget who you are supposed to be, Sammie. I have some that I never use, because the colours don’t really go with my outfits, you can have them if you want. When you are searching for changes to make and running out of ideas, touching up your lips might just trigger some thoughts.”

I found it a lot easier to relate to Katherine and the way she would react to events in her life and was soon deeply immersed into her character and changed the approach she was having to all the events around her. She became a much more positive and outgoing person, leading events rather than following them, and over the next few days I totally rewrote the book.

Kirsty told me that she would invite Susan and Jamie round to see the new version and get their thoughts about whether it was more appealing to the modern young woman. They caught me by surprise by arriving only a quarter of an hour later and found me extremely embarrassed wearing my skirt and lipstick.

“ You are really trying hard to get into the mind of your female characters aren’t you? let’s have a look at your manuscript and see if it works.” Susan giggled as she sat down.

I left them in peace to read through the copies of my manuscript and wandered down to the beach, it was becoming my haven of tranquility where I could get my mind sorted.

“ You have done really well Sammie. Kirsty has told us all about how you have changed your mindset since she changed your name and got you into a skirt, but it has worked. The book is many times better and more believable and it is a lot easier to relate to what Katherine is going through. Try it with your publishers again and see what they think.” Susan was the first to comment when I returned and found them in the kitchen with coffee and cake.

As I sat down to join them I brushed the skirt under my legs, and they all looked at me and smiled at each other.

For the next two weeks while the manuscript was being reviewed, I started on the next novel, ‘Santorini Sunsets’, where Katherine had moved on from her fling in Sardinia and was to spend the next few months in beautiful picturesque Thira on the gorgeous Greek island of Santorini. It is a really romantic setting and pictures of the small white houses with their pale blue roofs built into the terraced cliffs overlooking the flooded volcanic caldera adorn many travel brochures and guides for the Greek islands.

‘Santorini Sunsets’ was as much an adventure story and travel guide as well as following a whirlwind romance for Katherine, which would unfortunately end up in heartbreak. However her stronger character carried her through all the trials and tribulations and she left Santorini with fond memories and a promise to herself to return someday

As her ruse for me to see things through the eyes of a woman was being successful I continued to wear skirts and Kirsty bought a few tops and cardigans for me to complete what had now become my work uniform. She made a reasonable attempt at styling my hair into something that was vaguely feminine and added mascara and eyeliner to my makeup range, and I was now becoming almost passable as a woman. We continued to socialise with Susan and Kirsty , either at our house or their cottage, and I became much more at ease in their company, and even started meeting them dressed as a woman.

More and more they began to just treat me as a woman and listening to their conversations and chat I found that I could relate to their attitudes and feelings and was able to carry some of that into my writing.

It was with a great deal of nervousness that I opened the letter Kirsty brought in to me from Abernethy & Carter.

Dear Mr Sinclair,

Charles Haughton,
Abernethy & Carter

I was delighted and rushed over to hug Kirsty.

“ That is good news it really opens you up to a new market, hopefully you can keep us in this lifestyle for a few more years now. Let’s go out and celebrate. Why don’t we invite Susan and Jamie, they helped to make the new book a success and for Sammie to come out of her shell to be able to change things for the better. As this is a celebration of Samantha’s success, why don’t we go out together with you appearing as Sammie. I know that may sound a bit over-the-top, but you are wearing skirts and some makeup most of the time now, and are acting quite comfortably in the role.”

“I think that is a bit much, I know that it helps with my writing, but I am not like Jamie, I have no thoughts about dressing all the time, let alone becoming a woman, all these adornments are just tools to help me with my writing.”

“ Don’t be such a wet blanket, It will be fun, and obviously they will not object. We can get you cleaned up and made up and I can find something suitable for you to wear. This should be Samantha’s celebration not Rory’s.”

For the next few hours, Kirsty treated me as her Barbie doll, styling my hair, making sure that I was totally smooth and hairless on my body arms and legs, trimming my eyebrows, and shaping and painting my nails.

“One final thing, before you get dressed. Before Jamie started on hormones and developed her natural breasts, she used adhesive breast forms to give herself a realistic figure. When I phoned her to tell her how you were going out tonight, she brought them over for you. Do you want me to fix them on for you or is that going too far.”

“ In for a penny, in for a pound, I couldn’t feel any more unusual than I already do, as long as they can come off again.”

When the girls arrived I wearing an electric blue shift dress with a scooped neckline that showed off my new figure with a hint of cleavage, Kirsty had done an amazing job with the makeup and hair, and we looked almost like real sisters when stood side by side.

“ Wow, Sammie, you look fantastic, nobody will ever take you for anything but an attractive woman, let’s get out and introduce Samantha to the world.” gushed Jamie, giving me a woman-to-woman quick welcome hug.

To minimise any embarrassment for me, we went into the nearby large town of Oban rather than into our local hotel that we normally used. When we arrived at the restaurant Kirsty had booked, I was extremely nervous walking in, and after dropping off our coats and being taken to our table, I looked for a place where I could be inconspicuous, but the girls made sure that I could not hide myself away.

It was a delightful, characterful restaurant with olde-world charm and an easy friendly atmosphere and I was soon able to relax and enjoy the meal and the company. The girls made no allowances for me, the chat was what you would expect from a group of women and they made sure that I was kept drawn into the conversations. After all, we were out together for two reasons, mainly to celebrate my new book, but also to let me become more relaxed and natural with women to give me a better understanding of how my book characters would act and react. By the end of the evening and our journey home I was not thinking of myself as a man out with a group of women, but just as Sammie out with a few friends.

When we got home, we went straight up to get cleaned off for our beds, but I found that Kirsty had laid out a silk nightie for me.

“ I thought that just to complete the night for you in your new role, that you should leave on the breasts, wear a nightie and just enjoy your short time in womanhood. Just give it a try Sammie.”

i was up bright and early the following morning as it was to be a writing working day. When Kirsty dragged herself out of bed and came down to breakfast she found me in what had now become my writing clothes of skirt and jumper, but for the first time first time with my new breast forms still in place. i had put on mascara and eye shadow as well as the now usual lipstick, and with my nails still painted and my hair brushed into the style she had set for me the previous evening, i was ready to spend the day as Sammie working on my book.

“ Good morning Sammie, you are looking good today, I hope it all inspires you in your writing.’

“ i’m getting on really well, I have just finished ‘Santorini Sunsets’ and will do a final edit over the next few days. I think that wearing the skirt and things has helped me to develop a more relaxed style and I am working much more quickly. But when this one is complete I will have a short break from Sammie so that Rory can come back for a few days while I catch up with the maintenance for the house and garden.”

The manuscript was soon completed, and after a proof-read by Kirsty was sent off to Abernethy & Carter. It did not take them long to send an email back to confirm that they were getting it ready for printing and publication, saying that in their opinion the story flowed really well, Katherine’s personality was much more in keeping with their readers tastes and that they expected it to be even more successful than ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’.

I could hardly contain my delight when i found Kirsty out in the garden and gave her the letter to read.

“ That’s wonderful Rory, it’s so good that all our tricks to get you thinking like a woman have really worked, and hopefully there will be a lot more books to come.”

“ You’re right, i have already got the general theme of my next book buzzing away in my head and can’t wait to get stuck into it.”

“ That reminds me, do you remember that Jamie and her friend and neighbour Maggie Campbell started up a class to introduce some of the village women to using computers? Well, that turned out to be very successful and they all soon became quite confident and capable at it and didn’t need the training sessions anymore, but they had got used to their weekly meetings for lessons, and decided to still get together for tea and a chat, but turn it into a book club. You know the type of thing, select a book for them all to read and meet a week later to talk about it.

Well, Jamie had told Maggie about the delightful book she has just read, and that the author lived locally and Maggie has asked me that, if they chose ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’ as their next book, she would like you to join their review meeting and talk about how you wrote it and where you got the ideas for Katherine and her adventures and stuff like that. What do you think?”

“Tell her that I would love to do it, and I have a box of the books upstairs given to me by the publishers to use in promotions, so they won’t even have to buy or download it, they can even have it personally signed by the author.”

Maggie went off to make the call while I made us both a coffee and took out some homemade shortbread fingers that Susan and Jamie had given us.

“ I’ve just had a call with Maggie, and she is delighted and will call round to get the books, if you can spare them she would like a dozen. I don’t know how to tell you this, so I will just come straight out with it, but she would like Samantha Sinclair to do the honours, not Rory. You wrote the book as a woman, for women, and she just thought it will be better if the girls met Sammie. Do you still want to do it?”

“ I hadn’t thought of that, and I am not really sure. I know that I am comfortable dressed as a woman around the house, and even in the company of Susan and Jamie, but a roomful of women, especially local women who vaguely know me, is in a different league , I’m not sure if I could handle it. What are they going to think of a man who uses a woman’s name and mixes with them wearing a dress and makeup?”

“ Look. Maggie is coming round this afternoon to collect the books, why don’t you meet her as Rory, and then while I chat with her you can go and get changed into Sammie and see how she reacts?”

Later we met Maggie at the door and I had a quick word with her to explain that Samantha was actually just a pen-name I used to differentiate me from all my previous novels as Rory and after the normal polite small talk I went off to become Samantha while Kirsty looked after her and served tea and shortbread.

When I re-entered the room, wearing a casual skirt and top with my breast forms slipped into my bra, and with a light application of makeup, Maggie didn’t even blink an eyelid or pause her conversation, she just looked at me, smiled and said ‘Nice to meet you Samantha, Kirsty has been telling me all about you and how your work has been helped a lot by wearing skirts.”

“ Doesn’t this shock you, how will your friends at the book club react?”

“ Och no. we all got over that when we first met Jamie, clothes are just clothes, it is the person inside them that counts. Besides you are much more convincing than Jamie was at the start, although she has turned out to be a bonnie woman now. The girls at the book club will be over the moon that we will have a famous author with us, nothing much exciting happens around here and you will liven things up. We normally meet every other Friday afternoon at my house, it is much cosier and friendly than the village hall. If I get the books around to the girls today, that will give them over a week and a half before we meet, is that ok with you?”

“ If you are sure that I will not embarrass anyone, including myself, I look forward to it, When we are finished the tea and biscuits I will carry the books out to the car for you and you can share them around.”

“Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, and the girls will all be delighted to see you, and they will have no trouble meeting you as Samantha.” she said, giving me a hug and kiss before getting into her car and driving off.

As promised, the following Friday, after a few hours of pampering and Kirsty working her magic on me, I arrived at Maggie’s, accompanied by Susan and Jamie for moral support. They often attended the book club anyway and had been very keen to hear what the others thought of ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’, which they had really enjoyed when they read the draft manuscript.

I was so nervous I was almost feeling sick, not because of the worry of hearing comments about the book, but about how I would be received dressed as a woman in a roomful of women. Kirsty had styled my hair which was now long enough to experiment with, given me a subtle summer makeup and found a loose light summer dress and cardigan for me and I definitely looked the part as Samantha Sinclair.

I was shocked when Maggie answered the door and, instead of letting us in, took us around the side of her house into her garden, where instead of the expected dozen, there looked to be at least double that. She quietly told me that as well as the normal group there were a few others that had read the book online and wanted to join in and see the local celebrity author, and that the garden had a lot more room as it would be a bit crowded in her small cottage

“ Right girls this is the moment we have all been waiting for. Let me introduce Samantha Sinclair, you have all been reading her book for the last week or so and she would be delighted to hear your comments and to answer any questions.”

When she did not get an immediate question from any of the others, she continued “ Let me tell you about Samantha, who some of you may see through the makeup and clothes and recognise and know as Rory Sinclair.”

I was beginning to get embarrassed, i was here to hear the reviews of my book, not to have my life discussed.

,“ As you all may or may not know, Rory lives locally, up by the Firth, and has previously written crime novels. When he decided to try to write a romance, to get into the minds of his female characters, he has taken to dressing and behaving as a woman when writing. I am sure you will all agree that he does it very well and that those of you who didn’t already know would never have guessed. It was very kind of him to come to be with us today, and very brave as well to come as Samantha.”

Maggie had provided a tea of home-baked cake, scones and biscuits to keep everyone happy while we talked, and there followed a lively discussion and question-and-answer session about the storyline and characters, particularly what they thought of Katherine. I thought that it had gone a lot better than expected, and just as I had been with Jamie and Susan, I soon relaxed and enjoyed their company before Maggie surprised me.

“We obviously have all really enjoyed the book and can’t wait for the next one in the series.Samantha, we have enjoyed your company and I am sure that I speak for all of us that that we would love you to come again and give us your professional opinion on other authors and books.”

I was suddenly surrounded by a crowd all looking for me to sign their copies of the book and asking questions, not just about the book and my writing, but also about my attitudes to women and how spending a lot of my time as a woman has changed me. They obviously all knew Jamie and her story and so there was no shock reaction to my cross-dressing, just curiosity. They were a friendly crowd and all treated me with respect and friendliness and I promised that I would come to future meetings when it was convenient. I was not a great socialiser, which was one of the reasons that we had moved up here to this quiet backwater with a house well away from neighbours,

“ Thank you very much Ladies, I was deeply worried before coming here today, but you have made me so welcome, and I have really enjoyed my time here with you all. I will be delighted to come along to your next meeting. Hopefully, before too long I may have another book for you to read and discuss.”

“ That wasn’t too bad was it?’ Jamie asked as she drove me home, I knew that you would have no problems, they were all very accepting of me. It will be good for you to go to their meetings, the more you mix with women the more you will understand us and carry that over into your writing.’

When they dropped me off there was a large Mercedes parked at our house which I didn’t recognise and going in cautiously I found Charles Haughton sitting chatting to Kirsty. It took him a while to recognise me before bursting into a big grin.”

“ Wow Rory, or should that be Samantha, you look amazing, which makes this conversation a lot easier than I thought it would be. Sales of ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’, have rocketed and it is selling faster than most of your detective novels ever did, we have had to go for a reprint run. We are being inundated with requests for book signing sessions and I wasn’t sure how to get you to handle them.”

“ It all sounds good. Set something up and we can sort out the details later Charles.”

“I am in the area to see family and thought that it would be easier to have this conversation face-to-face rather than over the phone. Obviously you could just be open about it and turn up as Rory, but I’m certain that it would all be a lot more successful if you went as Samantha. You look very convincing, and you have already made your first public appearance today,.Kirsty has been telling me all about you and how you have been able to completely change the tone of your writing and it is a fascinating story.”

“I’m not sure I could do it Charles, i know that a lot of authors write under a pen name of the opposite sex, but I don’t know of any that make public appearances as their literary alter-ego, could Kirsty not do it for me.”

“ I can’t see that working, what if someone asks a few penetrating questions about your story, how would she be able to handle them? Besides you did all the work and had all the ideas, you deserve the attention and praise of your readers. Have a serious think about it and talk it through with Kirsty, and let me know. Obviously if you need any help to get into the role of Samantha, we would help all we can. By the way, ‘Santorini Sunsets” is getting ready for printing and should be out in a fortnight or so, advance orders are amazing.”

When he left, Kirsty and I had a long serious chat, after all she was my business manager as well as my sister.”

“ It’s a great opportunity for you Rory, this could take you up to the next level in recognition of your prestige as an author. I understand that you are concerned that Sammie is taking over your life, but what harm could there be in being her for a few weeks to push up your public profile . With a bit more fine tuning and with me constantly watching you and nagging you when things do not look or sound right, you will have no trouble passing as Samantha.”

“ Ok, but I would want you with me all the time just in case any problems come up and I start digging holes for myself to fall into.”

Kirsty enrolled Jamie to help tidy up the rough edges for me, Whilst not proposing to go all the way down the same path as her, a lot of the traumas and problems she had experienced and how she had overcome them were extremely useful for me, in particular the speech therapy she had gone through really helped me to train my voice to sound a lot more feminine, and she was delighted to be a source of advice to me.

In the month until the signing tour was due I immersed myself more and more into the personality of Samantha, I went along to Maggie’s book club and happily mixed in with them all, learning to join in their conversations and practice my new voice, I couldn’t have got myself ready to face the general public without the friendly treatment from all the lovely women around me, and I owed them all an awful lot.

The initial tour was planned for the main cities and towns in central Scotland, well away from my home area, starting in Glasgow then moving on to Edinburgh, Stirling, Perth , Dundee, Aberdeen and Inverness, before dropping back down the majestic Great Glen to Fort William and home.

It was to be a hectic month of two or three days of signing in each place with a few rest breaks between. Kirsty made sure I was properly prepared, booking us into a spa hotel just outside Glasgow, where I was given a full body wax, had my hair and makeup professionally styled, and was fitted out with several outfits and lots of accessories so that I was able to change my looks depending on the type of bookstore I was in.

The first two or three sessions in Glasgow were a bit of an ordeal as, despite the best efforts of my friends, I was still not convinced that I was totally natural as Samantha. But I was well received by everyone, particularly my readers who queued up to meet me and get a personalised signing of the books they had just bought, and I soon learned to relax and just be myself as Samantha and forget all about Rory.

It was an amazing and successful whirlwind tour, but after a month of living out of a suitcase in hotels, I was glad to get home again and was ready to just switch off. Kirsty, Jamie and Susan, however, had arranged a bit of a celebration party with the women from the book club, before I was allowed to put Sammie back into the wardrobe. It took a few days to switch off Sammie and become Rory again, I had got to be so comfortable as Samantha on the tour. It was like being an actor at the end of a long season struggling to get out of character and be their normal natural self again.

The book sales really took off, both at the signings and following reviews in the press and it wasn’t long before Charles Haughton was pushing for more.

“ Good news Samantha, ’Summer in Sant’Antioco’ is really racing up the best seller charts, and they would like you to do a promotional interview on Morning TV, that is national not just Scotland, you have really hit the big time with this book. You could also use it to promote the next book ‘Santorini Sunsets’ and give that a good kickstart too. Samantha is a really popular author now, you need to make the most of it.”

“That is a different deal altogether Charles, camera close-ups will show any flaw in my looks and skin texture and the sound systems will emphasise any speech problems, It could badly backfire on us and blow the whole thing apart.”

“ Sammie, and that is how you have to consider yourself now, you had rave reviews at the book signings, there was absolutely no suggestion that you were anything other than an attractive, talented author promoting her book, and you charmed your public and went down a storm, stop worrying. For as long as you continue to write the ‘Katherine’ adventures, you have to accept that people will expect to see Samantha Sinclair. and take whatever steps are needed to foster that image.”

He was right of course. I went down to the main studio in Manchester and did the show, even the professional makeup artists found no fault with me. The well-known presenters got me to relax and talk casually about the book and I was able to deflect any questions about my personal life without making it too obvious. After that first interview I was inundated with offers for more chat show appearances, I was suddenly on the media circus going from studio to studio. Sales went through the roof, I, or rather Samantha, was now established as as up-and-coming new author who had really tapped into her reader market.

To get the full market exposure for ‘Summer in Sant’Antioco’, Charles held back on the final publication of ‘Santorini Sunsets’ on the basis as he described it of ‘keep them waiting and begging for more, don’t rush things, stretch it all out a bit.’

This gave me an opportunity to have a long holiday break doubled up with research into settings for future novels. Kirsty and I went on a grand European tour of Amsterdam, Cologne, Geneva, Rome, Naples, Venice, Athens, Monaco and Monte Carlo, and Paris, all of them exotic destinations to use as backdrops to the storylines I had planned. For obvious reasons of passports and legal status I made the tour as Rory, and whilst it was good to be myself again, I did miss Samantha and was glad to get home again, become her once more ,and start on my new book. When I was working I spent all my time as Samantha and our friends and neighbours were soon used to seeing both her and Rory at different times, and were comfortable with me as either.

When ‘Santorini Sunsets’ finally came out., I made sure that I had enough copies for Maggie and her book club, and we all got together review it at one of their regular meetings. As well as enjoying their company, it was good to get feedback from people that I knew would be objective and honest with me, and planned to make a session with them a regular, pre-publishing regime

Over time, I was producing books at roughly 6 monthly intervals, each set in one or more of the main cities of Europe, each with Katherine as the main, or at least a significant, character, and I, or rather Samantha, became very successful, and quite wealthy. I had hit the market for the changed attitudes of today’s young women, who were able to relate to my heroines much better than to the traditional Victorian heroine roles in most romantic literature.

I owed a lot to Kirsty who had set me off in my new career by giving me the best advice I had ever had in my professional life, “You have to learn to think more like a woman, see things through their eyes”

The End

When we were comfortably settled, Darren took a deep breath while he thought how to introduce the matter that he wanted to discuss, but quickly decided just to get on with it and start.

“As you know, I am working in my uncle's property development company, Cartwright Projects. We are currently working on proposals for a major out--of-town development of a designer-outlet shopping centre and associated office and residential complex, I can't give you any details at the moment as it is commercially very sensitive. However we have found that the current landowners and their lawyers are getting very off-hand and have drastically increased the price of the site suggesting that another buyer is interested. We believe that there is a leak in our organisation, possibly tied in with corruption at the council, and need to get to the bottom of it. Would you like to help us find out who is responsible?”

“Sounds more like a job for a PI than a journalist, why me? I know that I dream of some cutting-edge stories and the fame and kudos that would go with them, but I haven’t got a lot of experience of that sort of thing.”

“Without going into details, you have some qualities we think would help. However it would mean that you would have to come to work for us for a while , get to know our people and get them to talk, so you will need to get leave of absence from your editor for a while, but you can promise him that it could result in a big exclusive story for him at the end of it. Obviously we will match your current salary and any appropriate expenses, so you will not lose out in the meantime, and there will be a big bonus if you are successful.”

“Let me have a word with my editor, but I'm sure that if I promise him a big scandal exposé that he will agree to an unpaid leave of absence.” Tell me a bit more about what you want me to do.”

“Despite the fact that we are the developers of major projects we are only a small team and we contract out all of the professional services, architects, designers, engineers, surveyors, project managers, lawyers and suchlike. There are only my Uncle James who originally trained as an architect before founding his development company, his finance director John Chisholm, Sally who acts as secretary and PA to both of them, Bill Miller who has been with James as project director since the company was formed, me learning the ropes with the intention that I eventually take over, Maggie and Carl the two assistants for John, and 4 admin assistants, Jo, Becky, Liz and Angie. It is worrying that in such a small close-knit group that someone is undermining us.”

“Why do you need me and where do I fit into the picture?”

“The only people who know about out proposed project are the staff, the current landowner our lawyers, and the Chief Planning Officer at the council has been made aware of our intent but not the details. We have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps and not involve any of our usual professional advisors and designers, as if it goes ahead we stand to make an enormous amount of profit. Somebody has obviously passed on some information and we need to find out who, and what we can do to get it back on track. As to where you fit in, Sally is going on maternity leave and we would like to replace her with you.”

“So we want me to do her job to see if there is any gossip or any suspicious activity going on that I can pick up on.”

“That's just about right, but, and please think about this before replying, it will be necessary not just to do her job, but to be a direct replacement for HER. We want you to work not as Jack but as Jane.”

“You can't be serious, I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous. Why do I have to work as a woman and what makes you think I could pull it off?”

“You are a reporter and have a nose for the unusual, if there is anything untoward going on you will sniff it out. We think that putting you in place as yourself would look suspicious, even in this day and age a male PA would stand out like a sore thumb and raise questions. Also the women are more likely to chat and share confidences with another woman than they would with a man. You are more than comfortable in the company of women, you are a fast typist, you can do shorthand, and you can make a perfectly passable imitation of a female.”

“What do you mean, what gives you that idea? I’ve only dressed as a girl once and that was a long time ago and only for Halloween. I’ve changed a lot since then.”

“Have you looked in a mirror recently,? I’m not being nasty but take a good long look at yourself. You are about 5’6", 140 lb., your hair is over your collar and ears, you are still in student-look mode, you still have a high tenor voice, the fluff on your chin will never turn into a beard, you are not exactly an image of strong masculinity. With the right clothes and makeup we are sure that you would easily pass and blend in. Besides, I have heard that it wasn’t just the once and that there were at least three other occasions where you went out as Jane, and very successfully too.”

“Things have changed since then, and I assure you that those were the only times I have dressed as a girl.”

“As I said this could be a big story for you, at least give it a try. I am dating quite seriously with Jenny’s friend Susie, who is now running a hair and beauty salon, and have talked it through with her, in fact it was her who suggested that you might be the right person for the job. She is sure that she can make you perfectly believable. She doesn't know the details of why I want you to do this but is prepared to help me and you to make it work.”

“I had enough trouble years ago which even followed me to university, I have serious doubts as to whether this will work, but if I agree to this, it will have to be to be a strict secret, I don’t want to start all that bother again.”

“Of course. The only people who need to know are Uncle James, me, and Susie. However she thinks it would be a good idea to not only change how you look, but to get you acting and thinking as a female by getting you together socially with the old gang of her, Jenny, Babs, and Linda, are you happy to involve them too?”

“I’m ok with the girls knowing, after all they have seen me dressed up before. Fine, tell Susie I will give it a try but if I look ridiculous or can’t act the part convincingly it’s all off.”

I phoned Mike Bradley my editor, to arrange for unpaid time off. He was hesitant at first as he would have to arrange for one of the other reporters to cover my duties, but when I dangled the carrot of a big story in front of him, he was only too quick to agree. He was intrigued as to what I would be doing, but was prepared to trust me, even though I wouldn’t give him any details.

Early on the following Sunday I nervously arrived at Susie's salon which was closed for the day so there were no staff or customers for me to feel even more embarrassed in the presence of. Since agreeing with Darren to give this a try I had been full of nagging doubts and not sleeping particularly well and the last things I needed were sneaky looks and gossip about me as if I was a freak. However It had all been arranged and I felt that I had no choice but to go ahead, took a deep breath, and looked around to make sure nobody saw me going into the salon as I walked in.

As I entered the salon to face the consequences of what I had agreed to do, I was surprised to see not only Susie, but my sister Jenny too, both standing there with big grins.

“Hi Jack, we were just having a bet as to whether you would turn up, but I told Susie that no matter what your other faults might be, you wouldn’t back away from a promise. We don’t know why you are going through with this, but you have agreed and Susie, with my help, will do our best to transform you into a girl.” Jenny said as she gave me a hug, before letting Susie take charge.

“Right Jack we are starting right now, before you get cold feet and walk out of the door, go and take all your clothes off and put on the smock that’s on the stool in the changing room. That will be the last we see of you, from now on we will be working on Jane, so you better get used to it, and to all the things us girls have to suffer in the cause of what men consider as our natural beauty.”

Five minutes later feeling an absolute idiot in the pink smock and mules she had left out for me Susie led me to a large table and had me lie face down on it.

“First things first, you are not too hairy body-wise but there is a lot of cleaning up to do, so please just lie there in silence while we give you a good wax and get your skin as smooth as a baby's backside.”

It was not as painful as I had read about in stories with people screaming when the wax and hair was pulled off, but I was glad when she had finished my shoulders, arms, back, legs, and even the indignity of the hairs in the crack of my bum, but I was glad when it was finished, until she then asked me to turn over.

“Jenny can finish your front, and I will concentrate on your face. Unless you intend to grow a beard sometime in the future it will be better to laser your facial hair, it will look a lot smoother and more natural than even a very close shave which you would have to do every day. It will also mean that you would not have to use concealer and can use much less makeup which will look much more natural, plastered-on makeup would only draw attention to you. Is that ok for you?”

“ I’m not really a beard type of person, so just do whatever you think is necessary, but don't forget that Jack will be back when all this is over.”

I’m sure that the pair of them were enjoying inflicting all this pain on me, they never stopped smiling and giggling as they chatted while working on me. They tried to draw me into their chat, but I was just so wound up at what I had committed to that I just lay there in silence while they fussed around me.However it was soon over, other than my scalp, eyebrows and lashes and a little feminine triangle at my groin, I was now completely hairless and smooth-skinned. I was then covered from head to toe in moisturiser by Jenny, glad that it was my sister rather than Susie doing it as I am sure she would have caused me an arousal at least, before putting my smock back on.

“ That wasn’t too bad was it, you are already looking quite presentable? You should be ok for a month or so which will last until you have finished whatever it is you are up to, but you may have to come back and go through it all again if fuzz starts to show. Let’s get over to the basin and start on your hair, then we can have a break for coffee and biscuits.”

While Susie was washing my hair and applying all sorts of lotions to it, Jenny was cleaning up shaping and painting my toenails a deep shade of pink, before taking a good look at my hands and deciding that I needed nail extensions.

“I keep telling you to stop biting your nails, it would have been a lot easier if I just had to shape and paint them. You really need to take more care of yourself for the next few weeks. Don’t worry you will not be getting long talons, just enough to go past your fingertips and have a bit of shape.”

While Jenny had been chatting and doing my nails, I hadn’t really been watching what Susie had been up to, while she was washing and treating my hair, but she finally wrapped a towel around my head and brought over coffee, cake and biscuits.

“ That’s about halfway now, let’s have a break, while you tell us what on earth you are doing, we deserve to know a bit more. I will then finish of your hair and we'll then take you through the mysteries of makeup.”

“I really appreciate what you are doing, but I can't tell you. I am following up a story and going undercover to see what I can find out and for various reasons It is better if I do it as a woman. As I am sure Darren has told you, I need to be as convincing as possible as a natural woman, I will be working with a team of women and need to fit in with them, and not stand out .”

“That's what we expected you to say, but it was worth a try. We'll still do our best with you today to get the looks right, but after that you really need to be with us Babs and Linda, and learn from us how to talk walk and act. I don’t think looks will be a problem , but you really need to now think ‘girl’ and totally forget everything you have learnt to do as Jack, when you leave here there will be no more mention of Jack, as far as everybody is concerned you are Jane and will be treated and referred to by us as if you always have been her.”

We moved over to her workstation and she unwrapped my hair and started brushing it out and snipping away here and there.

“It’s really lucky that you haven’t had a hair cut for ages, it is actually long enough for me to do things with, I’m glad that we can style it without having resort to extensions.”

I tried to see what she was doing but she had covered up all the mirrors, so I had no choice but to let her get on with it without any comments from me. She then used large tight rollers all over the top and sides, put a hood over it all and moved me to yet another workstation.”

“Before we start on teaching you the art of makeup, what are the main things that Jack would notice when he meets a girl?”

“I don't know, clothes figure hair and her smile I suppose.”

“No need to be coy, we are all girls together now, by figure I take it that you mean, like all men, her breasts, and don’t pretend that I am wrong, particularly if we are wearing low-cut tops it is difficult to get them to lift their eyes to look you in the face. To really get into the role you need realistic natural looking boobs and I have got exactly what you need.” Susie said opening a box to show me a pair of flesh coloured breast forms which were a good match for my skin colour. “For your frame size 36B should be about right, not too small, but not too difficult to handle, as you will soon learn what I mean. Open up your top and drop it down and we will fix you up with your new friends for the foreseeable future.”

She had me lie down on the bench again as she applied glue to the forms and my chest, and fiddled about with them to ensure that they were correctly placed and blended in, After a few minutes she took her hands away and told me to sit up I suddenly felt the extra weight pulling on my skin and looked down to see what looked like enormous lumps on my chest.

“ Are you sure that these are the right size, they look far too big?”

“Spoken like a true girl, we are all critical of our own breasts, they are too big, or too small, or not firm enough. They are the right size for you, you are no different to the rest of us, we are all either B or C cups.”

“Don't worry you will soon get used to them, let’s get you into your first bra, it's a big moment in a girl's life, and will make everything a lot more comfortable for you. Until you get used to your breasts and feel comfortable going without a bra you'll be better off wearing one.” Said Jenny, handing me a plain unadorned white bra.

Following their instructions, i put my arms through the straps slipped the breasts into the cups of the bra, and tried to fasten the clips behind my back. They had a good laugh at my first attempts , but I eventually managed to get it all connected up, and looking down I was amazed at the cleavage I now had and how natural everything looked, particularly after Jenny adjusted the straps to tighten it up a little bit.

“That seemed awkward, but after a few times you will soon get the hang of it and will have no bother That’s it then, I think that you are now officially Jane, welcome to the sisterhood, let's get you made up and dressed and we can then unleash you on the world.”

After what seemed like an awful long time when Susie trimmed and shaped my eyebrows and both of them took turns at applying lotions creams and all sorts of strange colourings to my face, they were eventually satisfied that I was now presentable. All the way through the process they described what they were doing and why, but to be honest there was too much information and my brain just couldn’t absorb it all.

Back in the changing room I discovered that Jack's clothes had mysteriously disappeared while I was being worked on in the salon and replaced with what I vaguely recognised as a lot of Jenny’s stuff.

“Put on some panties, and tuck yourself back if you know what I mean, we don’t want any nasty bumps and bulges showing, and I will then come in and see what clothes suit you.” Jenny called through the curtain.

“Right, let's see what fits,” she said eyeing me up and down, “no trousers for the moment you need to get used to skirts. Tights first, as well as helping your legs look better, they will also tend to hold all your bits in place. They actually look good, you haven't got a bad pair of pins on you. That denim skirt does not suit you it's a bit snug and you haven’t really got the backside for it, try the black flared one. Much better, now try the lacy cream top to go with it.”

“Don't you think this tops is a bit snug and skimpy, it is quite tight and really shows off my breasts and cleavage?”

“That's exactly what it is supposed to do, you'll have to get used to tight clothes, it's the way we girls wear things, if you have a figure, flaunt it. Until you get used to the new you, if you are self-conscious about your boobs, put on that purple cardigan, it goes well with your hair colour. Those black sandals should look ok with what you have on they only have a 2” heel you should be able to manage that. Let’s go and show Susie, she can finish your hair and you can then have a good look at yourself.”

“Wow Girl, I am jealous, I think we have created a knockout, let me brush out your hair to see the finished job.” Susie gushed as I came ut of the changing room.

She quickly removed the rollers, brushed it out, played with a few of the stray bits that hadn't worked quite as expected, gave it a spray, stood me in front of the full-length mirror and removed the towel covering it.

I did a double take at the mirror, turned around to make sure there wasn’t somebody standing behind me, and stared at the reflection coming back to me. It was amazing, what Susie had done, staring back at me was a quite cute red-haired young woman, who, as Jack, I could quite easily be attracted to. I couldn’t speak until Jenny put her arms around me.

“What do you think then Sis, are you happy with what you see?”

“Is that the finished job, the hair looks a bit wild and unbrushed to me?”

“ Are you doubting my judgement young lady?” Susie bristled, “that casual windswept style is very fashionable at the moment for women and girls your age.”

“I’m speechless, I wouldn’t have believed it. Why the red hair though, isn't it going to make me stand out rather than just quietly blending in.”

“The way you look and dress has to scream feminine, there has to be no question that you are Jane, a young modern professional woman, and there has to be no chance of anyone linking you to Jack.” Susie quickly replied, smarting slightly at any suggestion that her judgement was wrong.

“I got carried away, and almost forgot, sit down again for a minute.” She was soon back and I suddenly felt a sharp prick in my earlobe and jerked and gave a little squeal. “Don't be such a wimp Jane, I do this to 8 year old girls and they don't even flinch. You have to have pierced ears, a girl of your age would be considered a bit weird without them. We’ll just put some sleeper studs in for the moment, you and Jenny can get something decent later.”

I couldn’t resist having another long look in the mirrors, I couldn’t really believe how she had made me look.

“ You men are so vain, when you have been beautified you spend more time looking in the mirror than my female clients.”

“ What !! You’ve done this to other men before Susie?”

“You’d be amazed at how many men have been in here for a full makeover, there’s always some excuse of a fancy dress party or suchlike, but it’s obviously more than that with some of them.”

“ Don’t you feel embarrassed with them?”

“Not at all, if it keeps them happy, and they are not doing anyone any harm, good luck to them, and they usually tip very well too.”

“That’s enough chat, It’s time to go, the others will be waiting expectedly for us. The makeover is only part of the job though, not only do you have to look like Jane,” said Jenny “you have to learn to really be her too, that will not be so easy. Susie has already tidied the place up, and has gone to change from her uniform tunic dress into her street clothes, so grab the coat and bag from the chair and we'll set off to see Babs and Linda to let them see the new you.”

“What about my clothes and things?”

“You won’t need Jack's clothes for a while and I've already moved your keys and phone into your bag and moved your money and cards into one of my old purses. I’ve also added a few bits and pieces you will need, makeup, tissues, hairbrush nail file, and things like that. Come on, your new world awaits.”

As she led me to the door she took a close look at the way I was moving. “Don’t forget, shoulders back no slouching forward, you have a pert pair of breasts show them off, don’t be self-conscious about them, and take smaller steps, just look at what Susie and I are doing and do the same ”

Full of strange feelings and sensations I warily followed her and Susie out to the car. From the tip of my painted toes, the heels of the sandals affecting my balance and walk, the cool draught being acutely felt on my bare legs, the tight feeling in my groin, the bounce and sway of my boobs, the taste of my lipstick, the smell of the perfume, to my hair blowing in the breeze, my mind was a mass of confusion and strange sensations. I didn’t really remember the journey to Linda’s, my thoughts were elsewhere, contemplating what I had done and what awaited me.

“Come on Jane, stop daydreaming, let’s go and introduce you to the girls.” Jenny snapped at me as she took me by the hand to lead me into the house.

Linda and Babs had obviously been waiting with eager anticipation and the door was opened before we got there. They both stared at me in disbelief before giving me a huge group hug and dragging me inside.

“Wow, you look amazing Jane, Susie has done an unbelievable job on you.” Linda shrieked as she continued to stare.

“OMG, I feel totally underdressed in my Jean’s and tee shirt and with my hair tied back in a ponytail, I wish I had dressed up a bit more.” added Babs.

For the rest of the day, after all the initial shocks and comments, I was subjected to intense scrutiny and correction by the girls. Every move I made, every word I spoke, every reaction to what they were talking about was followed by three pairs of eyes and ears, my head was soon buzzing with all the things that I should or shouldn't do.

“I think that's enough for the moment, Jane is wilting and looking a bit shell-shocked.” Jenny came to my aid. “It’s time for a break, let's all head off to the pub. I think that she is passable enough for any casual inspection there, come on girls, get your coats on.”

To be continued

Throwing me in at the deep end, forcing me to go out with them in public we all headed to The Nag's Head, one of the pubs that I regularly visited as Jack and where I was fairly well known. As we went in I was on tenterhooks waiting for someone to recognise me. Fortunately it never happened, nobody took any particular notice of me, I was just another one of a group of girls and I calmly settled down with the others at a corner table.

“What's your poison Jane, you can't have your normal pint of bitter?” Babs asked as she made to go up to the bar.

“I think I had better keep off alcohol for the moment, I need to keep my head clear and concentrate on behaving correctly just an orange juice please.” I whispered, hoping that my voice would not stand out.

“Sorry, I couldn't hear that, you will have to speak up.” Along with the others she wasn’t going to let me sit there quietly. They had brought me out to get used to life as a girl, and they expected me to be as outgoing and vocal as they all were.

“Trying to pitch my voice up a bit I repeated “Just an orange juice please, and get it topped up with plain lemonade.”

Loud enough for the people at the bar to hear, Linda burst into a massive grin and squealed “Off the wine now Jane, you aren't pregnant are you?” Causing me to blush deeply and squirm in my seat.

Deciding that if they were trying to embarrass me that I would play them at their own game, I took a deep breath before replying, “Chance would be a fine thing, my sex life has not been up to much lately, I think I need to try a few new techniques, anyone got any suggestions or know any spare men?” That shut them up for a few seconds before they all started giggling.

“That was brilliant Jane. When you are working with women at whatever you intend to do, that is the sort of comment you are likely to get, and that is the sort of reply they will expect, just relax with us and keep thinking ‘I am Jane'.” Jenny quietly whispered to me.

We stayed there for a couple of hours and other than occasionally picking me up on something I did or said wrong, they just treated me as one of the girls, drawing me into their conversations with no embarrassment even when discussing period pains and which was the best sanitary product, or giggling about some guys up at the bar and the size of their ‘package’.

Once I relaxed, I totally enjoyed my night out with them all, and agreed that for the next week I would spend as much time as possible with them, either individually or as a group, I was under no illusions that I still had a long way to go before I could safely and convincingly be let loose in an office full of women.

“I’m off to the loo before the walk home, anyone need to go too?” Babs looked around, causing Jenny to give me a nudge, and quietly telling me to go with Babs. “Go with her, you need to get used to using the Ladies washroom, that’s what you will be doing for the next few weeks.”

Other than the fact that it was a lot cleaner and tidier than the ones I was used to and it didn’t smell of stale urine, I thought to myself, ’It’s just a washroom, so what if I am in the Ladies, that’s who I have to be from now on.’ I nipped into a cubicle for a quickie and came out to see Babs doing her lips and thought I had better do the same.

“You’re learning Jane, you didn’t need me to remind you, you’re doing great, just keep thinking ‘I am a girl’ and follow what we are all doing. it will soon become second nature and you won’t even have to think about it.”

“What have you told Mum and Dad about what you are doing?” Jenny asked as we walked back to her flat.

“Just that I am away for a few weeks visiting old friends from university, I thought that if I said I was just staying with you they would start asking all sorts of questions, thanks for putting me up Jen.”

“That's what sisters are for Jane, it‘ll be a nice change having my baby sister staying with me, someone to talk to in the evenings and help me keep house. Come on up and I'll show you your room, you can get changed ready for bed then we can have a quick drink and chat. I’ve left some things on the bed for you, which will do until you get more stuff of your own.”

‘Some things' turned out to be a short plain cotton nightie and dressing gown to change into along with some more skirts and tops which went into the wardrobe and drawers. I changed out of my skirt and top into the nightie, removing the bra, which was a strange feeling with the breast forms hanging free, but decided that I needed to keep on the panties to keep me under control.

I joined Jenny for a glass of wine and a chat for a while, feeling a bit self-conscious of my breasts moving freely under the flimsy nightie, but soon realised that hers were doing exactly the same and it would have to become the new normal for me.

“Are you sure that you are really ok with this Jen, it must be weird for you seeing me like this, and acting as just another one of the group when I was out with you and the girls tonight.?”

“Just remember it is not ’the girls’ but ‘the other girls’, you have to totally consider yourself as just another one of us. I have got it into my mind-set that you are my sister Jane staying with me for some time while you are in town on business, and I am ok with that, but please stop dragging me back to reality by keeping bringing it up, just accept that at the moment Jane is who you are. What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“Nothing has been arranged with any of the girls, sorry ,any of the other girls, so I thought that I would just mooch around and maybe go for a walk. I need to get out and get used to meeting people and everything, even it is just a casual ‘Hello, isn’t it a lovely day’ as we pass.”

“As I said earlier it will be nice to have someone help around the house, see if you can tidy the place up a bit, have a look in the cupboards see what we need and go down to the shops, if that's ok. Meet me in town after work and we can do some clothes shopping for you, you can't wear the same things day in and day out. Anyway, I have an early start in the morning, let's get our faces cleaned up, and get to bed, us girls need our beauty sleep.”

After all the trauma of the day before, I slept amazingly well and woke up fresh and relaxed. Still half asleep, I was confused by the unusual scents that filled my nostrils and by a strange tightness pulling on my chest, but soon came to my senses and remembered what I had done. First things first I rushed to the toilet to relieve myself, remembering to sit as I had been instructed, tucked myself up again, grabbed my dressing gown and went to the kitchen to find Jenny dressed and ready to go out to work.

“Good morning sleepyhead, there's bread for toast, or yoghurts in the fridge if you prefer, just help yourself to what you want. If you are ok going out in public, have a wander down to the supermarket, I’m getting a bit low on supplies. Will you be ok on your own?”

“I'll be fine Jen, get yourself off to work, I'll have my breakfast and then sort myself out.”

I noticed from the leftovers on the table that Jenny had just had half a grapefruit and a blueberry yoghurt with her coffee, and decided that for as long as I was Jane that I would follow her lead. It all tasted quite good but I still felt hungry at the end of it so I decided to get dressed and make myself busy to take my mind off raiding the biscuit barrel. I had a quick shower finding one of Jenny's caps as I didn’t want to ruin Susie's hard work on my hair, and smothered myself in her scented shower gel. Even though they had no sensitivity, washing around my breasts feeling them moving around on my chest was a strange and stimulating experience. Susie had been right, if I really wanted to get into the character of Jane, they were an essential part of my new femininity.

Patted dry and powdered I was back in the bedroom looking through the clothes Jenny had loaned me and quickly selected a matching bra and pantie set, just relatively plain cotton, I thought that I would leave the fancier sexier ones for another time. As I would only be around the house for most of the day, I just picked out a simple cotton v-necked top as I was still not comfortable exposing my cleavage, and a plain denim mid-thigh skirt.

I checked out the cupboards and made a shopping list for later, Jenny obviously lived day-to-day as there was not a large selection left to choose from. The living room was tidied and dusted and vacuumed, clothes put away in the bedrooms and the beds made. At home I had never been particularly tidy, my room always had clothes, magazines, game consoles, etc, scattered all over the bed and floor, but I felt that I owed it to Jenny to change my ways while I was living with her.

I didn’t really notice the time passing as I was keeping myself busy, but when I sat down for a coffee the morning had passed. I thought that as I was going to the shops anyway, that I would get something to eat while I was out, rather than mess the place up again. I freshened up my makeup, brushed my hair into something vaguely resembling what Susie had given me, picked up my shoulder bag containing my purse and what Jenny had called ‘a few essentials’ and some carrier bags and left for the shops.

I quickly pushed the trolley around the store filling it with day-to-day necessities, fresh fruit and vegetables, fish for later, cheese, bread, cereals, and cleaning materials. Even though I would be going out clothes shopping later with Jenny, I made my way to the clothing aisle which I normally avoided, but now I had as much right to browse through the racks as any other woman. I picked out a few sets of underwear and packets of tights. I almost took a couple of tops and a skirt, but thought it best to leave them for when Jenny was with me, styles were not something I had yet got to grips with. At the till I panicked when I suddenly realised that all my cards’ accounts were in Jack's name but luckily one of them just had my initial rather than my full name and it went through without any problem.

I parked the trolley in the locker area and went into to the coffee shop, ordered a prawn sandwich and cola, picked up the drink, and found a table waiting for the server to bring over my food. I sat looking around at the other customers, mostly women, but quite a few men too, thinking that being out in public was not too bad and I seemed to pass okay as Jane, even while chatting to the girl on the checkout as I was packing the shopping.

“Hi Jane, I didn’t expect to see you out and about today, have you settled in ok with Jenny?” Babs' voice woke me from my daydream.

“Oh, hi Babs, I didn’t see you there, Jenny’s cupboards were getting a bit empty so I thought I would make myself useful and get some things in. Come and join me, have you ordered?”

“Actually I was just leaving when I saw you, but I can stay for a while. How are you getting on, I must say that you are looking good, is this all your own work or did Jenny help?”

“For better or worse, this all my own work, although it did take a few attempts before I thought it looked reasonable, do I look ok to you?”

“Absolutely perfect, you are a natural.”

While I finished my food, we chatted away about the world in general, what her neighbours had been up to, which was a lot of salacious gossip, and what the daytime TV shows had been on about that morning, just like all the other female customers in the café.”

“What do you have planned for the rest of the day Jane?”

“Just drop all my shopping off at Jenny's, maybe go for a quick walk around the park and then go into town to meet her for some clothes shopping.”

“Sounds like a good plan, can I join you, I’ve nothing else important to do, shopping is a lot more fun when there are a few of you?”

Back at home I gave her a coffee while I put the groceries and things away, and we set off through the park to meet Jenny. I was glad that I had the ‘comfort blanket’ of having Babs with me, I was a lot more relaxed in her company than I would have been by myself.

When we arrived, Jenny was already there waiting for me and looked surprised to see that I had company “Oh, hi Babs, I wasn't expecting to see you as well.” Jenny smiled as she gave us both a quick welcome hug.

“I bumped into Jane looking all lonesome in the store, we sat and chatted for a while and she told me about going clothes shopping with you. Remember, back in the day, how much fun we had with the others in the mall on a Saturday morning, going from shop to shop, trying on clothes and having our own little fashion parades? Well, I thought that Jane missed out on all that, and that it is an experience she should have, so here I am.”

“You're right, it’s one of the fun experiences in a girl's life and if she is to fit in at work, the more girl experiences she has the easier it will be to get on with the others. Let's hit the shops girls.”

For the next three hours until the mall closed I was dragged from shop to shop, trying on dresses, skirts, tops, trousers and shoes. Jenny and Babs where quite clear and forceful about what did and didn’t suit me, and almost everything went back on the racks. I was amazed at how tolerant the sales staff were, they didn’t seem a bit put out that I tried on a lot and bought little, or in most cases nothing. I was in and out of the changing rooms, emerging to give them a twirl and get their opinion on how things fitted, usually in the changing rooms on my own but sometimes they came in with me, especially when I was trying on back-zip dresses. The girls were right, shopping was a lot more fun as a girl, almost a social event.

Eventually we made our way back home, with not much to show for 3 hours shopping. I ended up with three skirts for work and a couple of casual ones for about the house. They had insisted that I had a formal dress for going out with them and more blouses and tops in a variety of colours and styles, packs of bras and panties, two pairs of dress shoes for work and two pairs of flat casuals, not forgetting what seemed to me to be months’ worth of supplies of creams lotions and makeup. I couldn’t understand why I needed so much and when I would get to use everything, but when I asked they just looked at me as if I was stupid. I was dreading the next monthly bill from my credit card account

Babs left us and we went back to unpack and put everything away, before sitting down with a glass of wine and a pizza we had picked up on the way.

“You’re doing well Jane, you’ve been out all day among people and you looked quite at ease in the shops, are you still comfortable with all this?” Jenny asked with a concerned look on her face.

“I can live with it for a while until the project is completed. I’m beginning to get used to the clothes and makeup and am getting on quite well with you all. Its different to my normal life in a lot of ways, but it makes no difference to the basics, eating, drinking, sleeping, talking to people, it just all has a little twist to it There has been so much to learn and I’ve had to reprogramme my actions, but most of it is becoming second nature to me now. Anyway, I thought that you said you didn’t want me constantly reminding you that under all this that I am really Jack”

“Ok, but if it gets too much, let me know and whatever it is that you have cooked up with Darren I’ll sort him out and tell him it’s got to stop.”

“Thanks sis, and thanks for all your help, you and the other girls have been so good to me, you could easily have been mocking me and making me uncomfortable, but you have treated me as another one of your group of friends. Honestly, how do you think I am doing, do you think that Jane will be ready to face starting work soon.”

“Honestly, sometimes it is easy to forget that you are my brother, not my sister, there are still a few rough edges, but none of us girls are perfect, we all have our faults. Give it another week before you start work and you should be fine.”

The next day I arranged to meet up with Darren in a local coffee bar to confirm that I was ready to start in the office, and to get our stories straight as to who I now was, how I should behave, and how I should dress and present myself.

It was a warm day so I dressed casual in a light plain pale blue cotton blouse and loose floral, summer skirt, hoping that it was the right look, but on the way to meet him, I checked out how other girls were dressed and my outfit did not seem out of place.

I was there before him, ordered drinks and cake and sat in a window seat overlooking the main square, people watching, while waiting for him. He came in not long after and looked around for me, obviously did not recognise me, and looked at his watch worriedly to check the time was right. I gave a smile and a little finger wave to catch his eye and saw the look of astonishment on his face as he realised who I was and rushed over. He was just about to sit down when I quickly stopped him.

“Doesn’t a girl get a kiss and a hug when you meet her? The other customers will be expecting to see that.”

Astonished and taken aback, he did as he was told, leaned over with his arms around my shoulders and gave me a quick friendly peck on the cheek.

“ Wow, J...ane, you look amazing, I met Susie in town and she told me all about you, but I didn’t believe her when she said what she had done. Without being patronising you will definitely be the looker in the office, the other girls will be so jealous.”

“ Let’s hope that they are just as impressed with my talents and abilities, unless looking for a sugar daddy, us girls cannot be judged on looks alone.”

He gave me a quizzical look, which turned into a beaming smile. “You are really getting into the role aren’t you, you not only look and speak like a girl, but you seem to be thinking and acting like one too.”

“Keep your voice down, you don’t want anyone overhearing comments like that. As the other girls keep telling me, if I want to fit in, I have to keep thinking ‘I am Jane’, and that is how you have to treat me.”

We sat and chatted about what I would be expected to do for about an hour, and not once did he talk to me or treat me differently to he would with any of the other girls, and equally after all my time with the girls, I reacted as any of them would have done.

As we left, he gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek again, and held my hand as he walked me back to my car. “See you on Monday Jane.”, he said as he left, with no hesitation about my name, he had accepted me now as Jane.

Over the rest of the week, I spent as much time as possible with Jenny and her friends, immersing myself in all the girly chat, adopting their attitudes, mannerisms and speech patterns, any corrections getting fewer and fewer as the week went on. Saturday night the girls had arranged to meet at the local trattoria for a meal. Jenny left me to choose my own outfit, do my makeup and hair, and was waiting when I came out of my room, in a cherry red sheath dress, matching 4” heels, and full evening makeup.

“Hey girl, you look fantastic, just right, I couldn’t have chosen anything better for you, the girls will be jealous.”

We all met up at the Delizie di Napoli, a local pasta and pizza restaurant. The others had all dressed up too and the waiters paid a lot of attention to all ‘le adorabili signore’, constantly hovering around our table with, as Linda said, ‘their flashing eyes and tight little bums’.

I had a great time with the girls, they just totally accepted me as one of them, although I did catch them a few times having a good look at me, but Jenny told me later that the looks were just inspecting my clothes and appearance as they would assess any other girl, rather than looking for faults in the way I was behaving. As we were having an after-dinner coffee, the lights suddenly dimmed and our waiter marched in with a birthday cake complete with candles and placed it in front of me as the girls all joined in a rousing chorus of “happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Jane, happy birthday to you.” with the other diners all joining too. Jenny sitting next to me gave me a big hug, as I looked at her puzzled.

“What' up Jen, you know it’s not my birthday for a couple of weeks yet.”

“No, that's Jack’s birthday, today is Jane's, as far as we are concerned you are now officially a girl and from now on we will always have a birthday meal for you on this date.”

I didn’t think it would ever be repeated but it was a nice thought from them, and I even felt a tear forming in the corner of me eye as I went round each of them in turn to give a big thank-you hug. It had been years since I had really had a birthday celebration, I had no close male friends other than Darren and the girls had never invited me, as Jack, to any of their birthday get-togethers, it gave me a warm feeling to find that I now had a set of really close friends who cared for me.

For the next week the schooling by the girls continued and I was now totally at ease and natural in my new life, and I very rarely had to think about what I was doing, I was just getting on with my life as normal, except as Jane not Jack .

On Sunday to prepare for my first day in the office, I wanted to look my best and went in for another makeover session with Susie. Rather than the slightly wild casual hairstyle that she had given me before, she worked it into a more controlled formal pixie cut which she thought more appropriate for the office, thinned my eyebrows, plucked a few stray hairs gave me a full facial, and redid my nails. Strangely I was beginning to like being pampered like this and could understand why girls and women looked forward to visits to the beauty salon.

Back at home it was a relaxing day with Jenny, chatting away watching a rom com on TV, and generally getting ready, physically and mentally for my first day at work as Jane.

To be continued.

I was up bright and early Monday morning, going over and over things on my mind about how I would settle in at my new job, and hoping that I would fit in seamlessly as a woman, tidied up my hair and carefully did my makeup and was about to get dressed when Jenny came into my room and handed me a package.

“A present for you Jane from the girls, a lacy sexy lingerie set for today. If you have any worries or doubts about being accepted as Jane, just remember what you are wearing, and think ‘I am an attractive sexy woman’, shoulders back, push out your chest and act like you did on Saturday with the girls.”

We had chosen a fairly basic outfit for me for the office, a coral half-sleeve blouse, a cream above-the-knee A-line skirt with matching bolero jacket, and comfortable 2” cream block-heel court shoes. I was soon dressed and ready to go.

“ Good luck Sis, I’m sure that you’ll fine, just behave like you have been doing with us and forget about Jack, Jane is who you are now, or at least for the moment.”

I’m going to give it a go, after all the time you and the girls have spent on me I’m sure I’ll be ok, but I’ll only relax once I get settled in. The first day in a new job is always stressful, just multiply that by 2 for me today.”

I grabbed my bag, quickly admired myself in the hall mirror, said goodbye to Jenny who was enjoying a leisurely breakfast, and drove to the offices of Cartwright Projects.

I took a moment to compose myself, worried that despite all the efforts of the girls that I would still not pass as a woman, but I had committed to do this and had spent a lot of time for me and the girls. I took a deep breath, forced a friendly smile, and walked in to the reception area.

“Hello, I'm Jane Harrison, I'm starting here today and was asked to report to Sally Chisholm, who I am temporarily replacing while she is on maternity leave.” I had decided rather than using my real surname to use my mother’s maiden name instead, and that if anyone asked I was her niece and Jenny’s cousin.

“Hi, we’re expecting you. Pleased to meet you, I’m Angie, the office junior and general dogsbody. I think you have arrived just in time, Sally does not have long to go now before her baby’s due and needs to start taking it easy. Good luck today, and if you need to know where anything is, or get lost in their conversations about the projects we are working on, just give me a shout, and I’ll try to help.”

“Thanks Angie’ speak to you later” I replied, hoping that the others were as friendly and helpful as her as I spotted a rosy-cheeked heavily-pregnant, but still very attractive woman waddle across the reception area to greet me.

“Hi Jane, welcome to Cartwright Projects. First things first, let’s get you settled in my, or should I say your, half-partitioned corner that acts as our office, with coffee and we can then sit and chat about everything you need to know about what I do and for which you will be responsible from Wednesday.”

“You’re joking about leaving tomorrow aren’t you?” I asked with a worried frown after we had settled in at her work station.

“I’m serious, I should have packed in a few weeks ago, but needed to stay until we got a suitable replacement. Thank you for now letting me go to get ready to enjoy, if that is the right word, the big event in a couple of weeks. Obviously James, John, and Darren will give you their priorities and you can call on the other girls to help if you need it, but there is a lot of admin that I do without the involvement of anyone else, you have a lot to learn in two days. First though, let me introduce you to the others and then I can tell you all about them, what they are good at, what they are bad at, and how far you can trust them to do their jobs efficiently.”

First on the list was Darren’s Uncle James, and when we walked into his office there was a look of amazement on his face as he knew who I really was.

“ You’re not quite what I was expected.” he said cryptically, giving me a close visual inspection from top to toe, seeming to dwell on my bust-line a little bit longer than elsewhere. “Welcome to Cartwright projects, I’m sure that you will soon adjust to your new situation and that we will work satisfactorily together. I’ll leave you in Sally’s capable hands for the moment and we can catch up later.” I was sure that he was toying with me for having agreed to work for him as Jane, but he seemed pleased with how I looked and the general impression I gave.

The finance director, John Chisholm was a lot more professional and straightforward. “Hello Jane, welcome to the team, when Sally has shown you the ropes pop back in here, there are a couple of things I need to go through with you.”

Maggie and Carl, John’s two assistant accountants in their late 20s or early 30s, seemed friendly enough and suggested catching up over lunch. which seemed a good idea, I had to start with somebody and they seemed as good as any.

Jo, Becky and Liz in the general office were a lot more wary of me as I was being brought in over their heads and I could feel their eyes boring into me, checking out my hair, makeup and clothes, looking for any flaws that they could exploit and gossip about.

Angie, last on the tour, was more welcoming, pleased to see me again, and seemed to want me to stay to chat longer, but Sally led me away back to her office.

“Before we get started on what your job is I’ll fill you in on the gossip about the others, you need to know who you are working with and what to expect from them.

James is a very good boss, fair but determined, you get what you see with him, he should not be a problem for you. Generally when he gives you something to do, he just leaves you to get on with it, he doesn't believe in looking over your shoulder to make sure you are doing it right.

John is very staid, concentrates on work, is not very sociable but is polite and not too demanding. He runs his own little empire of Maggie and Carl who tend to look after themselves, the workload for you from him and his team is minimal.

Maggie is very ambitious, to be honest I think she considers the role beneath what she expected when she qualified as an accountant, but is pleasant and friendly enough and seems good at her job.

Carl is a bit of a plodder, dull but reliable, I think he is not too ambitious and is just looking for a nice safe career, and he tends to follow whatever direction Maggie is heading in.

Jo is a single mum, not particularly pushy, just looking for a decent income to keep her and Billy, her 8 year old, but is probably the most capable of the girls, but does not want to take on more responsibility that will affect her family life.

Becky is divorced, quite flirty and is a bit of a cougar, she has a liking for younger men and, as you have seen, dresses a bit ‘mutton as lamb’ as part of that. She plays Carl up quite a lot and makes him very nervous. You can rely on her as long as you can put up with her sense of humour.

Liz is not looking for a career, working here is just a job for her, a way to get money to help the family finances which are quite stretched.

Angie is young, a bundle of fun, but don’t be fooled by her bubbly image, she has a sharp mind and in a few years will be doing my job, if there is anybody you need to trust and confide in, Angie is your girl.

Darren and Bill are not in the office today, they are out at meetings on one of our projects, in fact they are out most of the time at site meetings or design meetings.

I understand that you have already met Darren, he’s young, very enthusiastic, but is quite sharp and will take over sometime from James. Most of the girls think he is a bit of a hunk, but he keeps his distance, much to the disappointment of Becky.

Bill is mid-forties, very experienced and is left to his own agenda most of the time. He is usually out and about meeting designers and contractors on site, he usually does all his own reports and correspondence, so you will not have too much work from him.

That should set the scene for you, we’ll leave it there for the moment, you can fill in the gaps yourself as you get to know them better. Now for the formal stuff, I’ll go through what is routine for you and what you can occasionally expect.”

The rest of the morning Sally talked me through all of her normal duties, showed me where everything was kept, she was so well organised that I had no problems following her guidance. We chatted a lot, about her background and family, telling me all the problems of her pregnancy and leaving me knowing more about women’s medical problems than I had learned all the rest of my life. Luckily my times out with the girls and their open discussions with me included had prepared me for a lot of this and I was able to discuss things without any of the embarrassment that I had felt the first time intimate discussions came up with them.

When she asked me for more details about myself, family, schooling, previous jobs, relationships, I already had a potted history planned out which was based on my actual life as Jack with bits obviously amended to a female perspective, with some characterisation added in from what I knew about Jenny and her friends and she just took it all in without any problems.

At lunchtime, I quickly freshened up my makeup and hair and, as promised, went to meet Maggie and Carl for lunch. As I had been told by Sally, Maggie was the more dominant of the pair, Carl just joining in the conversation when he was directly asked.

“It has been good to get to know you Jane.” She forced a smile, “ Of course we have different roles from you and we look after ourselves in the accounts section, so we won’t be working together too much.” which sounded to me to be a polite warning to keep my nose out of their business.”

“ Do you enjoy working at Cartwright’s then Maggie?”, I thought that this was as good a time as any to try to probe her loyalty.

“It’s alright, I am learning a lot about how things work in practice rather than the theoretical ideals that you get taught at university, but in time I will be looking for something a bit more challenging and with more responsibility, meanwhile it pays the bills and will look good on my CV.”

Irrationally and probably prematurely, I decided that I was not at all keen on her, that she was pushy and couldn’t be trusted, and that I would keep my distance from her. Maybe it was bit of posturing for the position of alpha-female in the office, but at least it assured me that I was totally accepted as a woman.

Carl was totally different, quiet and shy and a bit of a plodder, so I felt that if I wanted to know anything about the company finances that he was the better bet, and besides, I caught him a couple of times giving me a good look over, obviously quite pleased with what he saw, land I thought that later when I could get him away from Maggie’s influence, it might be worthwhile to turn on my feminine charms and get him to loosen up a bit.

I had just settled back in the office when I got a call from James Cartwright. “Please come into my office, there are a few things I need to discuss with you.

“Should Sally come too in case there is something she can add to the conversation, I’m still finding my way around your systems?”

“No, just you.” He added in quite a forceful tone.

I fluffed up my hair, redid my lips, smoothed my skirt and went to his office, unsure as to what to expect from him, but was immediately put at ease by the friendly smile on his face, as he gave me an intense look up and down, eyes particularly again lingering on my bosom.

“Good to see you here Jane, you don’t mind if I call you Jane do you?”

“I would rather that you did. While I am working for you, it’s best if that’s how you refer to me all the time, that way there is less chance of a slip up questioning my identity, and please treat me in exactly the same way you treat Sally and the other women. As long as I am needed here I am living as Jane 24/7, that way I will not get confused.”

“ I must admit that when Darren told me what he had planned for you, I thought it was a harebrained scheme that would never work and that there would be no way that you would be convincing. However, I am astounded at how you have turned out, attractive, elegant, stylish, you just blend in with the other girls and will fit in well.”

Surprisingly I found myself blushing, one thing that I hadn’t yet totally got to grips with was getting used to receiving compliments. Girls from a very young age constantly receive compliments about how pretty they are and how lovely and cute they look, I had grown up seeing and hearing Jenny get all the comments, but things like that were not said to me along with most boys, I just had not learned over the years how to react, so just sat there saying nothing.

“Anyway, I’ll leave you to settle in with Sally as I am sure that there are a lot of issues she needs to advise you on. I wasn’t sure whether to ask you this, but now I have seen you and heard you I’ve decided to ask anyway. It is the Rotary Club Ladies Night dinner-dance a week on Friday and as President I will be expected to attend and act as host. You probably don’t know but my wife Helen died two years ago and since then Sally has graciously undertaken to be my ‘plus-one’ at the event. Obviously this year she will not be available, and I am asking if you would be willing to take her place.”

“You can’t be serious, I can get away with being presentable and in control of myself in the office, but a social environment is totally different, drink relaxes you, and I am worried that I will drop my guard when making small talk chatting with the other women. Besides if it is a formal occasion, I don’t have anything suitable to wear, the only female clothes I have are work outfits and casual clothes.”

“You are definitely falling into your role, that is the sort of comment that I would expect from a woman. Have a talk to Sally, she can explain a lot better than I can what will be expected, buy whatever you need and charge it to the company, Sally has a corporate credit card which she can let you have until the one ordered for you arrives. Talk it through with her, I’m sure that she will tell you that you will enjoy yourself and will fit in. If you think that it will be too much, let me know and I will arrange something else. I was going to ask Maggie, but somehow I never feel comfortable with her, she can do her job ok but I can’t relate to her personally.”

“I know what you mean, I get the feeling that here is a hidden meaning and agenda in everything she says or does. By the way, I don’t know if you have long-term plans for her, but I would make sure that you have another string to your bow, she effectively told me that Cartwright’s are just a stepping stone on her career path.”

“ Thanks for that, I keep an eye on her. The other thing is that on Wednesday, I am having a meeting with the Chief Planning Officer, Andrew Hargreaves, at the Town Hall about one of the projects we are currently working on. Most of the detailed stuff is done by Bill Miller and the project design team we use, but occasionally things need a bit of a nudge from top-level. I would like you there to take notes to pass on to Bill, and besides it will do no harm for you to meet Andrew, he often calls here and he and his wife Helen will be at the Ladies Night, so at least there will be another face there that you know.”

I could hardly wait to get a chance to talk with Sally about the invite to the Ladies Night, and what would be expected from me. Despite the reassuring attitude of James I was a bit worried about accepting his invitation.

“Don’t worry about it, I have been to it with him a couple of times and he was the perfect gentleman, it is not a ploy to make a play for you. Most of the people I’ve met there are friendly and pleasant and you will be made most welcome. It is a formal dress-up event, some of the ladies will be in expensive elaborate designer full-length dresses, others will be in cocktail dresses. Go in whichever makes you feel more comfortable, but if James has offered to pay, why not go for something you would not normally be able to afford, I’ve got quite a nice wardrobe with all the stuff I needed for the various receptions I’ve had to accompany him to.”

“ He did offer that and said I should borrow your corporate credit card, if that is ok.”

“ Fine with me, after tomorrow I will not need to use it anymore anyway, it’s all yours now. Use it freely, but don’t go too mad and you should have no bother with the accountants.”

“It would be good if you were able to come with me to help me choose, you know the type of outfit that will be expected, but I’m sure that you don’t feel like going traipsing around the shops so near to the birth date. I’ll get my cousin Jenny to help me choose.”

Sally fished in her purse to get the credit card and as she pulled it out a small photo dropped to the floor. As I picked it up for her, I couldn’t help but notice that it was a very smart attractive man, that I took to be her husband, before passing it back to her.

The rest of the day was just routine, Sally showing me where everything was, telling me about the various clients, investors, and consultants that I would be dealing with, and all the routine duties she carried out. It was a shame that we only had two days together, she was easy to relate to and someone that I felt I could be good friends with.

Back at home later I told Jenny about the invite to the dinner dance and that we would need to go shopping.

“ I never thought that I would be having a conversation with you about going out together to get you a fancy party frock, but I’m looking forward to it. It sounds like a big occasion so we need to get you something stunning and expensive. Now tell me about the people that you are working with and what you will actually be doing.”

I gave her a quick description of the office staff, mainly from Sally’s advice but some of my own instant reactions to the people too

Darren’s uncle seems ok , he was pleasant enough, but when he met me he seemed fixated on my breasts, he tended to not look me in the eye but always a bit lower down.

“ Welcome to the world of women Jane, you’ll find that a lot, but in your case it was probably as much in wonderment at your transformation as being lustful.” Jenny giggled at the image in her minds eye of James staring at my boobs.

Tuesday was a bit of a blur, there was a constant stream of phone calls and visitors to wish Sally all the best for the birth and they all hoped that she would come back to work again sometime. At the end of the day all the team from the office went out for a meal and a drink to wish her well, except no drink for Sally of course nor for me as I had agreed to drive her home. Everyone seemed sorry to see her go, she was obviously very popular and good at her job and reven in her very advanced stage of pregnancy still came across as stylish and elegant.

Sally lived in a detached Victorian house with a large garden backing onto woodland which was very tastefully furnished and decorated in an eclectic mix of contemporary and traditional styles, which she delighted in showing me as she invited me in for a coffee afterwards.

“Good luck with the new job Jane, I was worried that they were not going to find someone suitable, then you suddenly appeared out of nowhere. James interviewed several people and rejected them all, so you must have made a good impression on him”

“I’ve known Darren through friends of my cousin Jenny for many years and when he heard that I was returning to town after university he got in touch with me, told me about your job and that you were leaving. He had been told that while at university I moonlighted with a secretarial agency and worked spells at several medium and small companies. He discussed me with James before asking if I was interested in taking over temporarily as a trial to see if I fitted in and for me to decide if it is somewhere that I wanted to make my career.”

“You could do a lot worse, Cartwright’s has always been good to me and paid me well, along with the income Harry, my partner, gets as a financial consultant we are able to live quite comfortably, as you can see. Anyway, good luck and don’t be afraid to give me a call, at least for the next week or so, if there is anything you need to ask.”

I was surprised when I got back to the apartment to see Jenny holding up a bag for me to take from ‘Foundations’, a local expensive lingerie shop which some of the girls had mentioned that they visited to get speciality stuff before their weddings. “I bought a present for you today Jane.”

“Oh thank you very much Jen, what have I got?”

“Open it up and see, I am not sure whether you will be thanking me when you try it on, it’s just a little something to make your figure a bit more convincing.”

At first glance it looked like a soft satin chemise, but soon realised that it was effectively a very firm corset-like lace-up waist cincher.

“If you are going shopping for an expensive posh frock you really need to reduce your waistline. You have just over a week before the dinner/dance, so you are going to have to wear that all the time, even overnight, to give you a better shape. With the stiff boning, it will also help your posture and encourage you to keep your back arched and shoulders back. There is no time like the present, go and put it on and I’ll then tighten up the laces for you, which will get a little tighter every day until we are happy that it has gone far enough.”

I was soon stripped to my bra and pants and was pulling on the cincher when Jenny came in with a big grin. “Ok Jane, up until now you have enjoyed the best bits about being a girl, the clothes, hair, and makeup, now you are going to learn how we all have to suffer in order to look our best. Let me tighten it all up a bit.”

She started at the top where there was not much scope for pulling things in due to the rib bone structure, but as she worked her way down things got tighter and tighter until I could hardly breath when she got to a high waistline, but then eased off a bit as she reached the lower back and hips.

“I think that will do for now, That shape is much better, it’s pulled you in at least 2 inches, let’s hope that your body adjusts to it. I’ll have another go in the morning to see if we can go a bit further, just put on something loose for the moment, until you get used to things.” I was dreading the thought of any further tightening, I could only breathe shallowly in short breaths, every time I moved I could feel the grip of the cincher, and she had told me that I had to suffer this for the next week or so.

“I’ve only done a light meal tonight, a chicken salad, until your body and internal organs sort themselves out you will not be able to eat much anyway, your stomach will be a bit squashed., anyway you need to get used to eating smaller more lady-like portions and lighter food.

I struggled to get comfortable and sleep that night, between the physical constraints and the mental worries about what I was doing, I found it difficult to relax enough to drop off.

To be continued

When I woke in the morning, Jenny was still asleep and I thought that if I stripped for a shower that there was no way I could sort out the cincher myself, so it was just a quick wash and sprays of deodorant to freshen me up before doing my makeup and hair. I was feeling a bit more relaxed with the cincher, whether it was just a case of my body getting used to it or whether it was actually having a physical effect I didn’t know, but at least it was now at the back of my mind rather than a constant awareness.

I was in the office bright and early, sorting out my priorities for my first day working solo since Sally left, I had learned a lot from her in two days, but I was certain that there must be some things that I had missed. As I was scheduled to be going out of the office with James to visit the Planning Officer, I had dressed in a smart professional skirt suit borrowed from Linda and realised that Jenny was right, the smaller waist that I was now squeezed down to emphasised my hips and bottom, helped by the flesh squeezed down from my waist, and the skirt definitely sat better on me.

I had soon cleared up all the routine stuff, emails and mail, sorting out stuff left over by Sally, which all went int a spare drawer to sort out later. I collected my things together and was all set and waiting when James was ready to go.I was still nervous of meeting new people, the more I met the greater was the chance of someone noticing flaws in my appearance, character, or behaviour. But by the time we arrived at the council offices James’ casual manner, chatting to me as he drove, had settled me down.

The last time I had been in the council offices was when we did a work experience visit before leaving school and it looked like nothing much had changed in the intervening years. It was still a bland soulless clinical modern concrete and glass building, but was now in need of a major redecoration, obviously the high community charges we were all obliged to pay was not being spent on property maintenance. After we signed in, we were given ‘Visitor’ ID badges and soon someone came down to escort us to Andrew Hargreaves’ office. James was welcomed quite heartily but I was given just a cursory handshake and a curt ‘hello’, obviously I was too far down the pecking order to be bothered about, which suited me fine as I didn’t want to be too memorable.

If I had thought that James’ eyes had lingered on my bust-line when he first saw me, it was nothing compared with the unconcealed gaze of Andrew Hargreaves. With that and the obvious way he otherwise ignored me, I instantly formed an opinion of him as a patronising lecher and thought that the women working for him must be constantly being made to feel inferior.

During the meeting I was surprised at the give and take chat between the two of them, obviously petty rules and procedures were for the lower ranks and there always seemed to be a way around obstacles that couldn’t be overcome at the lower levels.

As we were leaving James drew me into the conversation. “ Andrew just to let you know that Jane will be joining us at Ladies Night, Sally won’t be with me this year as she is about to give birth any day now. It will be Janes ,first time at this sort of event, so, if you can ask I’m certain that your Dorothy will make sure that she is not left out of things, it will be good for Jane to get to know some of the ‘movers and shakers’ in the town.”

This seemed to melt Andrew’s coolness towards me a bit and he forced a smile. “I look forward to seeing you there Jane, it is usually a really pleasant night, I’m sure that you will enjoy yourself.” But despite his change in attitude, I still felt that he was not someone I could warm to or trust.

Thursday morning I was still finding my way around the office procedures and the various roles when I was called into John Chisholm’s office.

“ Hi Jane, I hope that you are settling in ok.” He welcomed me with a big smile but soon turned more formal. “I’ve noticed that you have been accessing the accounts files on the network. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you are new here and there is a lot of confidential information in those files. Sally had access to those files because of some of the work she was doing for James, but it should not be necessary for you to do so at the moment. I have arranged for your access to those files to be restricted, as applies to all the other staff except for my team of Maggie and Carl. If you need any information for items of work you are doing for James please ask one of them. There are a few loose ends that Sally was working on for me, I’ll give you a quick briefing and would then appreciate you sorting things out for me.”

I was confused about whether it was my instinct as a reporter, or whether it was just the way things worked in a commercial scenario, but I had nagging doubts for various reasons about almost everyone I had met since starting work at Cartwright’s, and added John to the list, he had been polite about it but it seemed clear to me that once again I had been told to keep my nose out of the affairs of the accounts department.

I was just leaving at the end of the day when I bumped into Angie in reception. “Hi Jane, it’s been a hectic day, do you fancy a quick drink to wind down, since you started we’ve not really had a chance to get to know each other.”

“Good idea, why not, I’m in no particular hurry.”, I quickly replied although I was actually quite keen to get home, but thought that it would do no harm to get any gossip from her.

Over a glass of Chenin blanc in the local wine bar she reinforced most of the opinions I had formed myself or had been told by Sally. She had been given the same warnings as me about the confidentiality of the accounts files and told me not to worry as Chisholm was like that with all the other women too.

“ I hear that you are going with James to the dinner dance next week, it should be fun, Sally always used to enjoy it, although James spent a lot of the time wheeling and dealing with other members and left her to chat with the other wives and partners that had been similarly treated, But that’s men for you, always treating us girls as a useful accessory to charm people that they are trying to impress. I’m new at this and still young, but hopefully things are changing and as I make a career things will get a bit more realistic and we will be considered for our talents rather than looks and personality.”

“ Let’s hope you are right Angie, you seem quite bright and get on with everyone, if you keep your nose clean I am sure that you will get on. Women in the workplace have always seemed to get the less interesting and rewarding roles, but men can’t keep ignoring half the population.”

“ Anyway, that’s enough about me and being on my soapbox, tell me a bit about yourself Jane. Have you always lived and worked in this town?”

Other than my real identity, which was replaced with that of my cousin Jane and the fact that I told her that I was brought up in a village I knew the other side of the county, and leaving aside my time as a reporter, I kept my background as genuine as I could, that way it would be easier to avoid slip-ups. Angie seemed to accept it all and came across as genuinely interested rather than probing. Although I didn’t want to get too involved with any of the staff, I felt comfortable with Angie and in other circumstances she could be a really good friend.

Back home Jenny was already working away in the kitchen preparing dinner and I was glad to sit down, kick off my shoes, which was a delight, pour myself a glass of wine and relax for a while.

“ Everything go ok today Jane?” Jenny asked when she escaped the kitchen for a few minutes.

“ Yes, fine, I am becoming comfortable and relaxed as Jane and everyone seems to accept me, to be honest it is being a lot easier than I expected.”

“Talking of comfortable, how are you getting on with the cincher?”

“ It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but after a while I didn’t really notice, let’s hope it is doing its job and I can soon do without it, but I suppose that it’s a necessary evil.”

“ No chance, at least for a while, we still need to work on giving you a more feminine figure. If you are finding it not to be too uncomfortable it needs tightening in a bit. Go and get changed into something casual and loose and I will see what I can do.”

“ I can’t wait. I’m sure that you are enjoying making me suffer” I said sarcastically as I went off to my room.

“ There you are, that’s another inch from your waist, if you keep up like this, we’ll have to get a smaller one, there’s not much left to go on this one. Keep it on overnight and see what you feel like in the morning” Jenny seemed to be enjoying watching me struggle to breathe easily, even more so when I couldn’t finish my meal, because I felt full quite quickly.

“I’m going out with the girls tomorrow night Jane, we’re meeting for a drink and some of us might go on to a club, are you coming?”

“A drink with you all would be good, but I’m not sure about a club afterwards. I’m not a good dancer at the best of times and as Jane I’m sure that I would look awkward and stiff.”

“Look, you will be expected to have a dance at the do next week, so you need to learn how to move as a girl, it will be good practice. Let’s put on some music now and have a go. Just try and copy what I am doing. For the next hour or so we danced to disco cds she had and we found what I could and couldn’t cope with, particularly swivelling my hips, and managed to to get me fit to dance in public.

“ How are you getting on Jane?” Darren asked me over a coffee in his office in the morning, in the pretence that I was taking notes of a meeting he had been to. “We’ve not had a chance to catch up, I’ve been busy out on site all this week.”

“ I’ve not got very far at the moment, to be honest there are very few that I have ruled out. I have assumed that you and James have nothing to gain and a lot to lose by leaking information. I can’t warm to Charles, he holds back a lot, Maggie is too ambitious and pushy, i don’t trust her at all. Carl I’ve almost ruled out, he is too much of a plodder, and lacks imagination. Jo and Liz seem ok although, both are struggling financially a bit, but seem genuine. Becky seems only interested in developing her sex life, rumour has it that she plays the field a lot and could easily let things slip in a bit of pillow talk. Angie is not yet disillusioned enough or driven enough to get involved in anything shady, I am using her to keep me in the loop of office gossip, most people seem to like her and chat to her, and I’ve not met Bill yet.”

“Those seem fair character assessments. How are you adjusting to life as Jane?”

“Really, it has been a lot easier than I was expecting, the clothes and things are incidentals they do not take a lot of getting used to, I am becoming comfortable with the personality side too. I’ve always been at ease with women, as you know a lot of my youth was spent in the company of Jenny and her friends because most of you boys wanted nothing to do with me. The other girls are quite accepting of me as I am at the moment, in fact we are all going out together tonight for a drinking and a dance.”

“Susie told me, she said that she and the other girls have really taken to the new you and that you are fun to be with and a good addition to their group, I reckon that they will be disappointed when all this is over, I think that they may even prefer you as Jane. Anyway enjoy yourself tonight.”

Later at home I spent a lot more time than I normally would getting ready, it was no longer just a quick shower, towel dry my hair and give it a brush, grab the nearest set of clean clothes and get out of the door. After the shower and patting myself dry there was moisturising and powdering, selecting a fancy set of clean undies, a good half-hour makeup routine and another half-hour restyling my hair from its daytime business bob, before slipping into my red sheath dress and matching heels. I was definitely into red, to match my vibrant hair colour and the bubbly personality I was trying to present. I would never complain again about waiting for my sister and her friends getting ready to go out.

We all met in a town-centre music bar and spent the next two hours chatting and talking about what had happened since we last met and were having a pleasant night out.They wanted to know everything about the people I was working with and how I was getting on with them. When I told them about the lecherous looks from Hargreaves, they all just giggled, “Get used to it Jane, it’s a fact of life, you’ll find as a girl that you are judged more on your looks than on your talents.”

“Jane have you seen that tall blond guy int the fancy shirt and those ever so tight pants over at the bar with his friends, he keeps giving you the eye, you could be in there.“

“I’m not looking to ‘be in there’ remember.” I replied blushing and giggling just like the other girls often did. “It wouldn’t be fair to lead him on would it. Anyway, isn’t it about time we were off to the club?” We collected our things, Susie went off to meet Darren but the rest of us went along the road to a disco club.

At first we were all dancing together as a group and the lessons Jenny had given me paid off, I was soon following the style and movement of the others and really enjoying myself. However it wasn’t long before our group caught the attention of a group of lads looking to get to know us. Most of the dances were quite lively and not at all intimate, but the dj occasionally put on a slow number to give everyone a chance for a clinch and smooch.

The first time I was with someone I was uncomfortable and embarrassed and not really sure about how to react, but after a while I was more used to it and actually enjoyed the close contact and the company, but made sure that it was only for one or two dances. However towards the end of the night; the blond lad who had been eyeing me up in the bar came over and asked me to dance. I felt a nudge in my back and turned to see Babs smiling and mouthing ’go for it girl, enjoy yourself’, and thought ‘what harm can it do?’

Jeremy, or Jez as he preferred to be called, was great company, a good dancer, amusing and charming, and I was having a good time with him. For the final dance of the night the dj put on a really slow number, giving Jez the chance to pull me in close, nuzzle my neck and generally have a smooching session.The intimacy did not do a lot for me, despite how comfortable I was with the other girls and how I fitted in well and almost felt like a girl with them, I was not prepared for going any further, although from the bulge I could feel in Jez’s trousers he was obviously hoping for more.

“ Can I see you again Jane?” He asked holding my hand as he led me back to the table where the girls were sitting waiting for me.

“Thanks Jez, it would be nice but I am not looking for dates at the moment I have got too many issues I need to deal with first.” I tried to let him down gently, he was a nice lad, and he walked back to his friends looking very disappointed.

“OMG Jane, you say you are new to this, but you just turned away the fittest looking lad in here tonight.“ Babs joked with me.

Over a glass of wine to unwind back at the flat Jenny wanted to know if I had enjoyed my night out.

“It was good fun, I had super time thanks to you and the girls.“

You seemed to be having fun dancing with the lads, particularly with Jez at the end of the night

“ Jenny, you and the girls sometimes seem to forget who I really am, I am not interested in any relationships at the moment, particularly with boys.”

“If that’s the case you could always try a night out with a girl, it’s quite fashionable nowadays.”

“ Change the subject Jen, I told you I am not interested. Let’s finish our wine and go to bed, we have to go shopping tomorrow.”

Despite what I had said to Jenny about not being interested in boys, I slept fitfully, with thoughts of dancing with Jez and in particular the feeling of his arousal, playing on my mind. I was too easily drifting from a dress-up disguise to actually beginning to act and think as a female. I needed to get this investigation sorted quickly before it permanently affected me.

“ Are you not ready yet?” Jenny pestered me as I picked up my bag and coat to go out. “”We are supposed to be meeting Linda in town in a quarter of an hour, we’re going to be keeping her waiting.”

“ It’ll make up for all the times you and the others have kept me waiting while you have been getting ready to go out.”

We must have been in at least seven or eight shops, picking dresses off racks and holding them up against me, trying them on and rejecting them as not being a good fit or the wrong colour, before going back to the second one we had visited. It was a choice between a full-length prom dress, with lace bodice and half-sleeves, gathered under the bust and flaring out to the floor, in either cerise or a pale coral. Both fitted well but the jury of Jenny and Linda decided that the coral suited me better with my pale skin and ginger hair colour. Of course, they insisted that I needed shoes and a clutch bag to go with it, but we chose cerise for those to give some contrast colour.

“You will look absolutely gorgeous, I wish I could afford get an outfit like that, but the chain stores are more my market.“ Linda said wistfully as she had a final look before we took everything over to the shop assistant to ring it all up and bag things.

“Go and choose something then Linda, my treat, or at least my treat using the Cunningham's credit card.”

She ended up with a mid-length cocktail dress in bright blue which matched the colour of her eyes and which was totally her, it was a lot more fitted than mine, but then she had the natural figure to show it off, mine was still being worked on by the damn corset.

Totally exhausted physically and mentally from traipsing around the shops, we stopped in a bistro in the shopping centre for a coffee and a light lunch, but to be honest I was more glad for a chance to sit down and relax than any need for refreshment. I was just getting to relax when I felt a touch on my arm and looked up directly into the eyes of Jez who I had met at the club last night.

“ Hi girls, you seem to have been having a busy time this morning judging from the collection of bags next to your chairs. Did you all enjoy yourselves last night.”

“It was a good night and we all had a lot of fun, particularly Jane.especially later after she had met you.” Linda cheekily replied, getting a glare from me to not go there, but I remained stonily silent, and gave a pleading look to Jenny.

“Nice to see you again Jez, but we have to be off now, you know how it is when us girls start shopping.” She quickly jumped in having taken my hint, picking up the bags and rising from the chair to go, and I didn’t hesitate to follow.

“Maybe, I’ll see you all around sometime.” He hopefully said as he left.

“ Linda, please never do that to me again, I told you that I am not interested and it wouldn’t be fair to lead him on that I was.” I snapped at Linda when we were away from him.

“ Don’t be silly Jane, a bit of flirting never does any harm and it doesn’t usually mean anything, it’s just a bit of fun for us girls seeing how far we can manipulate a boy that’s interested in us. For the moment you are living as a girl, learn to behave like one.” She snapped in reply, not backing down at all.

I was glad to get home and see Linda going away, I didn’t want to get into a row with her, but I was not going to let her push me into something I didn’t want to do. And a relationship was the last thing on my mind.

“ Take no notice of Linda, she is just having a bit of fun with you, but she is partly right, a pleasant smile and a quick hug would not have done any harm and would probably have brightened Jez’s day” Jenny tried to calm me down, just relax and go with the flow.

To be continued

On Sunday, even though it was just going to be an easy relaxing day, Jenny insisted that I needed to keep wearing skirts and ‘proper’ shoes as a reminder of my assumed femininity, and when we went for a walk in the park down by the river I was definitely the odd-one-out, especially for other girls my age. Everyone else was wearing jeans and sandals or trainers and I felt conspicuous, although I did enjoy the fresh breeze drifting onto my bare legs the main advantage of skirts rather than trousers. I couldn’t really understand why girls and women squeezed themselves into tight warm trousers and leggings on a warm spring day when a skirt and bare legs was a lot more comfortable and pleasant.

We were sitting on a bench, basking in the warm sunshine, watching the ducks and geese scramble for the titbits that were getting thrown at them, eating ice cream cones when our peace and quiet was broken as we were approached by a couple of young men.

“Hi there, it’s Jenny Carter isn’t it, I’m Rob Williams, I don’t know if you remember me, I was in your class at school.”

“ Yes, I remember you Rob, you were always the quiet shy one at the back of the class, then you would never have dreamed of walking over to say hello, unlike some of your friends who were constantly trying awkwardly to chat us up.” she replied, smiling back at him.

“ I haven’t seen you for ages, and have grown up a lot since then. Do you mind if we join you and have a catch-up and talk about our old friends? This is Jim, a friend of mine from work, he wasn’t at our school.”

“ This is my cousin Jane, she has just moved into town and is staying with me.”

Although I knew perfectly well who Rob was, I wasn’t supposed to, so Jim and I made pleasant small talk while Jenny and Rob did a lot of reminiscing.

“ Whatever happened to your brother, Jack wasn’t it? Some of the people I’ve met who knew him at university say that he was as much a loner there as he was at school. In a way I understand why he kept himself to himself at school after his cross-dressing was exposed, but I would have thought that the much more liberal atmosphere at university would have let him take it further, but apparently nobody there ever saw him dressed as a girl.”

“He kept telling everyone that it was all a big misunderstanding and that it was just a bit of fun that got out of hand, but all you testosterone-driven boys didn’t want to damage your macho image by being seen even just talking to him, so you all just ghosted him. It’s just as well that most of the girls weren’t so bigoted otherwise he could have turned into a recluse with all sorts of personality problems. You can tell all the others that you still see that he has turned into an intelligent well-adjusted young man and is trying to make a success of his career.” She snapped back glaring at him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. You are right though about the boys being worried that their masculinity would be dented, at that age all of us, girls as well as boys, are too concerned about what others think of us and can be quite easily led into a herd response to events. Next time you see him give him my apologies. We were going to ask you if we could spend some time with you, maybe getting a boat out on the lake or something, but I suppose that there is no chance of that now, is there?”

Jenny looked at me questioningly and when I smiled back and nodded, she mellowed a bit. “ Why not, you have apologised and you seem a lot more outgoing and pleasant now than you all were then, let’s walk for a bit first.” she said as she got up, and holding hands she and Rob looked to us to follow.

After the lectures from Linda and Jenny last night I decided that I needed to brush up on my social skills, Jim seemed pleasant enough and I thought quite good-looking too, so why not? I held out my hand for him to help me get up from the bench and we kept them together as we caught up with the others.

We sent an enjoyable afternoon with the boys, boating on the lake, chatting over coffee in the lakeside café.

Despite not getting off to a good start, the day turned out well and it was a shame to end it when they walked us back home.

“Thanks for a lovely time boys, it has been fun, but we have things to do.” She seemed genuinely interested in Rob and put her arms around him to draw him in close for a deep kiss. I thought that really I should follow her lead and do the same. Jim was quite a passionate kisser and I was actually enjoying it, but when I felt an erection growing in his trousers it was time to pull back before it went any further. We said our goodbyes and they promised to give a call to arrange to meet up again.

“ I know that I told you that you need to learn to behave like a girl, but you have now really thrown yourself into the part. I thought that you were never going to let go of him.” She giggled as she teased me.

“ Tell me something Jen. With Jez the other night and with Jim just now, when we were kissing I could feel their erections, is it always like that and does it not put you off a bit.?”

“A lot of times, but you will soon get used to it. Depending on who it is it’s a nice feeling to know that they think you are sexy, it’s good for the ego. In fact we can encourage it if we want to by a bit of forceful pushing our hips forward rubbing against them. Obviously you shouldn’t do that because, well you know why. You’ve only been a girl for a short time, but you are already learning a lot of our tricks. You were much more relaxed today than you were with Jez, keep at it sis.”

“Im going to have a shower then put on a moisturising mask and do my nails, ready for work tomorrow.”

“ Wow, you are turning into a real girly girl, I have created a monster.” She joked as she playfully threw a cushion at me.

Later we sat for a while with a glass of wine chatting about all the things we had been up to over the weekend, and she really surprised me by telling me that she had been feeling a bit horny and if it hadn’t been for me that she was thinking about inviting Rob in and taking him to bed, and she described in graphic detail all the things she wanted to do with him. It was not a conversation that I thought I would ever have with my sister talking about her libido and sexual feelings, but she was treating me as her sister not her brother now, and was able to share a lot more with me.

Along with my own thoughts about how I felt with the boys, and the things Jenny had described to me, my mind was in turmoil and my sleep fitful, as I was totally unsure about how I felt things were developing.

At work, the early part of the week was just routine, I learned nothing further to give me a clue as to who was the office mole and was getting a bit frustrated at the lack of progress. Wednesday was Angie’s birthday so after work all of us, at least all the girls, made our way to a local wine bar to celebrate with her. I thought tongues might loosen after a few glasses of wine, but other than a bit of bitchy sniping at Sally by Maggie, it was all just general chatter.

“ What’s wrong with Sally then, I thought she was popular with you all?” I tried to probe a bit further.

“She was just a bit up herself, she thought being the boss’s PA made her better than everyone else and sometimes she could be quite patronising. Just because she lives in an expensive house and drives a flash car, she thought she could look down on those of us who could not match her expensive tastes.” Liz added.

“ She didn’t strike me like that.” I replied in her defence.

“ Well you don’t know her like we do, you only worked with her for a couple of days, and being so close to the birth she is now a bit mellow and mumsy, so you only saw the good side of her.”

Apart from that and a bit of bitching about the habits of their partners, it was a pleasant sociable gathering, even Maggie seemed to join in rather than being aloof and superior as she normally was. I learned a lot more about all the other girls, their families, their home life, how they viewed their lives. Discussions were a lot more open, wide-ranging and interesting than when I had previously been out with groups of men.

After my nights out withJenny and her friends, I was totally comfortable in the company of the girls and joined in with all their chatter even when they were giggling about some of the men at the bar and making comparisons with their husbands and partners. It was becoming a lot more natural for me to see things from a female perspective, and as well as dressing as a female I was beginning to think and feel emotions as one too.

Things started to change on Thursday, when James called me into his office, before I had even had a chance to sit down with a coffee. “Ah, good morning Jane,” he said to me as I walked into the office, “don’t bother taking off your coat, I’d like you to come to a meeting with me this morning. We’re off to Bolton Manor to talk to the owners of the land which we are proposing to develop.” Fortunately as it was a warm day, I had decided to wear a light belted Summer dress which could be read as either formal or casual and felt that it would be appropriate for a business meeting.

I knew that Bolton Manor was a huge private estate owned by a local aristocratic family. As well as the house and gardens there were extensive woodlands, a deer park, and hundreds of acres of pasture, much of which was the other side of a public road and let out to tenant farmers, However I was not prepared for what hit my eyes as we drove though imposing entrance gates. The main drive twisted through woodland and pasture land with cattle and sheep grazing, before opening into a grand gravelled entrance approach to a magnificent huge Georgian Palladian style mansion. The whole effect was to give an impression of style, wealth, and the power associated with it.

As we approached the main door set under a colonnaded porch, we were greeted, rather formally, by a middle-aged man in a business suit with an obvious military background, who I assumed to be Sir Charles Bolton, baronet, grandson of an earl, and ‘something in the City of London finance world’, but was quickly corrected when he spoke.

“Welcome to Bolton Manor, I’m Geoffrey Marshall, Sir Charles’ major-domo and private secretary. Please come in, Sir Charles is waiting for you in the study, I’ll show you in, arrange coffee, or tea if you prefer, and join you in a few minutes.”

If Geoffrey was the image of a formal businessman, Sir Charles was the total opposite, unkept grey hair, casually dressed in country style, green corduroy trousers, chequered twill shirt and suede brogues, with his two labradors lying at his feet, someone obviously comfortable in the aristocratic lifestyle and with no need for pretentious formality.

“ Hello, James old chap, nice to meet you again.” he warmly welcomed us as he casually shook James’ hand and then looked across to me. “And who is this delightful young lady you have brought with you, she has put me in a better mood already,” he gave me a big smile as he gently took my hand and gave me a formal kiss on the cheek. It was plain that political correctness and equality had not yet reached Bolton Manor and that we were still in the days of old-fashioned charm and polite respect for the fair sex. Rather than let James introduce me, I warmly smiled back at him and replied for myself to try to assert that I had a mind of my own. “Good morning Sir Charles, I’m Jane Harrison, Mr Cartwright’s PA, pleased to meet you at last, James has told a lot about you and the plans you both have to develop on your estate.”

“No need for all that formality dear, in here today we are Charles, James and Jane, although when he returns my PA prefers to be called Mr Marshall, he’s a bit stuffy like that and I like to humour him.” I was warming to Charles, he was an old fashioned aristocrat, he didn’t need to impress anyone.

Marshall returned, followed by a maid/housekeeper carrying a silver tray with porcelain cups and saucers, two cafetières of coffee, one rich roast and one decaf, milk and Demerara sugar, along with a plate of petit-fours and biscuits, which she laid on the small table between us before leaving. I thought that as the only female and the most junior person, that I would be expected to pour and serve the coffee, but as I was about to get up, Marshall took charge and did the honours, maybe old-fashioned courtesy had it’s advantages.

Marshall and I had both been briefed to take note of the discussions, and we sat apart from our two bosses, out of the conversation, but just listening in and recording what was happening.

“Charles, I really would like to get the land deal wrapped up, I have backers all lined up to invest, and if there is not progress soon, I can see some of them losing interest. I have been told that there will be no problem getting outline planning permission to change the land use from agricultural to retail and all that it needs for us to go forward is for you to agree to the land sale.”

“James, you made a fair offer, but as I’m sure you are aware, there is someone else interested and they have bettered your bid, This estate costs a fortune to run and maintain and, to be frank, the extra money is more than welcome. In the times of my ancestors when the estate was established and the house was built, labour was cheap and plentiful, but times have changed, understandably everyone wants, and indeed needs, a decent wage and lifestyle. So we all have to adapt. My role in the city provides me with a very good income but the estate is a money pit, and I have to look at alternative ways to fund it all as best I can. ”

“I’ve been thinking about that and have a proposal for you Charles which may help. I’m certain that my offer is realistic considering the price of other land sales in this area, but I am prepared to offer you, in addition, a significant shareholding in the management company that will operate the development. Judging by other developments in which I have been involved that should generate more than enough funds to help run the remaining estate. As you are aware, agricultural land rents are fairly low and dividend income from the development will be far in excess of what you are currently receiving from the tenant farmers. Also, no disrespect, you are getting on a bit, and must have serious problems coming up over what could be considerable death duties. If we put the shareholding in the name of your son, William, that should reduce any taxes on your death when it all passes down to him. How does that sound?”

Without any outward reaction to the offer, Charles stood up and moved away from James. “Please help yourself to coffee and cake, I will leave you for a few minutes while I have a think about it. Marshall, follow me please.”

When we were left alone, James smiled at me. ”I think we have hooked him, it’s will be just a matter of tying up the details.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you need me here, I would have thought that discussions like this would be better one to one.”

“Three main reasons. One,I wanted a witness and a note-taker which is your job. Two, no disrespect, I wanted you as a bit of a distraction, a bit of eye-candy if you like, like most elderly aristocrats he is a bit of a charmer with an eye for the ladies. Three, I want your opinion on how he reacted and whether I will need to offer him more.”

“I agree, I’m sure that he is interested. However, if you get his agreement, that is your main problem overcome but there is still the issue of how the information leaked to someone else which has caused you to improve your offer. Maybe he can help us out any information will help me on that score.”

Having given the offer his consideration, Charles returned with Marshall. “Subject to agreeing the details and the terms of the contract, I am prepared to accept your offer, but on two conditions. One, the development is to be called ‘The Bolton Centre’ or similar. Two, we need to agree the level of shareholding, I suggest 10%.”

“ I’ve no problems with the name, in fact I was going to suggest that anyway. However, 10% shareholding is far too much and unrealistic, although I understand you suggesting that as an opening bid. I have to consider the interests of the investors who will be funding the development, which will be a considerable cost to them and they deserve realistic rewards too. I think 1% is more appropriate and even that should provide enough in dividends for you to maintain your estate.”

“I would like at least 6%.”

“”2%”

“4%”

“3%, and that is honestly as far as I am able to go.”

“Ok James, we’ll settle for that. Get your lawyers to contact mine and arrange the purchase. Marshall, fetch the Hennessy XO for a toast to this agreement” As an afterthought, looking at me he politely asked “ Is that fine for you my dear or would you prefer something milder?”

“Thank you Charles that will be fine. I quite like the occasional cognac, but not quite in the same class as the XO. The days have long gone when we womenfolk retired to another room, leaving you men to enjoy your brandy and cigars.”

James gave me a warning glance to suggest that I may have gone too far, but Charles burst into a grin and chuckled.

“I like you Jane, my dear, you have spirit, I like my women a bit feisty and unpredictable just like my favourite hunter. You must come and visit me again, I find you amusing.”

“One other thing Charles I hope you can help me with.” James jumped in to change the subject. “It is obvious that word leaked out about my proposed development on your land, and the only people that knew what I was up to were us, our staff and Andrew Hargreaves, the chief Planning Officer. Personally I think that it is one of my staff and I am trying to find out who it was. If you will tell me the name of the company that was bidding against me it may help us to find a link to one of my people and sort it out. I value loyalty, as I am sure you do too.”

“No problems old chap, I was approached by Acumen Developments, and to be honest they seemed to know a great deal about what you are up to, they obviously had a lot of information from somewhere.”

Business completed, James and I said our goodbyes and after a fatherly hug and peck on the cheek for me we made our way back to his car.

“I’m glad I brought you, I thought that he might be less aggressive in the presence of an attractive young lady and you seem to have hit a soft spot with him, I think that you amused him.”

“Oh, is that what you think of me, what was it you called me before, ‘eye-candy’? Women have a lot more to offer nowadays, you know.”

“Look Jane, I did not mean to insult or demean you, you have a lot of talent and a sharp brain. It was a good idea of yours to find out from him who our competitors were. As regards ‘eye candy’ you make an attractive and personable young lady, I find it easy to forget who you really are. You fit in with the other women so well you would have no problems if you decided that was the life for you.”

I quickly told him that he was talking a load of nonsense and that as soon as this issue was sorted it would be goodbye to Jane, but his comments struck a chord with me and set me thinking, perhaps he might have a point.

Back in the office I spent the rest of the day researching Acumen Developments who had opened a local office about two years ago and were becoming a major player in the area. Looking further into who their main personnel were. I struck me that Alistair Ridgeley, their marketing director, lived in our town, in fact not too far from Jenny’s flat, and with his local knowledge it was likely that he was involved to some extent in their rapid growth in competing with Cartwrights. I resolved to find out a bit more about him and his company, but it would have to wait until the next morning.

“Jen I’m going to tell you something and I want you to give me an honest reply, no matter how you think I will react, ok?” I started a conversation as we sat having our dinner that evening.

“This sounds interesting , go on then.”

“I was out with James Cartwright today, up at Bolton Manor visiting Sir Charles Bolton trying to seal a land deal with him, but that doesn’t really matter. However after we left James told me that he mainly took me along as a bit of eye-candy to try to mellow Sir Charles and seal the deal. It did help as Sir Charles is an old charmer and was quite taken by me and suggested that I must visit him again sometime.”

“Nothing wrong with that, why are you so uptight?”

“Afterwards James told me that I am so convincing as a woman that he sometimes forgets who I am, and sort of suggested that I ought to think about living as, or becoming, a woman.”

“I hope that you told him that this is only a disguise for you to help him and Darren with a problem and that Jack will be back soon !”

“That’s the problem, although I said something like that to him, ever since it has kept coming into my mind that he could be right.”

“Wow, that’s a shocker ! I had no idea when we started preparing you to pass as a girl that it would affect you so much, it was just a bit of fun for us. Having said that, I agree with him that it is easy to forget that you are not really Jane. When we have been out with the girls we all, me included, just think of you, and treat you, as just another one of the girls, you just blend in with us.”

The other thing that I agree with him on, is that it is easy to see you as eye-candy, you come across as a very feminine attractive girl. It is easy for me and the other girls not to have to think ‘I am a girl am I doing everything right’, it is just part of our life, who we are, and we don’t have to think about how other people see us. You, on the other hand, must be constantly aware of how you are walking, talking, reacting to things, and are making much more effort, and that comes across as a very girly-girl.”

“Obviously I am, and always have been totally male, but since this started I have adjusted so easily to life as a female. I am enjoying the company of girls, as a girl, not as a boy on the lookout for a partner. Apart from the cincher you have made me wear, I enjoy the feel and look of the clothes, I look forward to improving my looks with makeup and styling my hair every morning before I go off to work as I want to look my best. I am actually enjoying being a girl.”

“That reminds me, just so you know that there are downsides as well as benefits to being a girl, we need to tighten up the cincher as far we can tonight, although you fit in your dress quite well, for tomorrow night it never does any harm to have a trimmer waist. At least you don’t really have to prepare too much tonight, you are booked in with Susie at 2:30 tomorrow afternoon for the full works, facial, hair nails, etc, just tell James that you will have to leave work early, I’m sure he’ll agree. Don’t worry for the moment about thinking about how much you are enjoying living as a girl, decisions like that are best left until you have a calm mind, when all this is over we can talk about this again, but whatever you decide, I will always be your sister and love and support you.”

To be continued

First thing I had a meeting with James to discuss how to deal with the possibility of Alistair Ridgeley being involved in the leak and how to go forward.

“Actually, that is a strange coincidence, he will also be at the dinner-dance tonight. We’ll see how it goes but if you have the opportunity to talk to him, see what you make of him. The same applies to me too, but if I ask too many questions he will clam up, he will probably be a bit more open with you, he will not see you as a threat.”

“I’ll see what I can do, if I get a chance to talk with him. By the way I’ll need to leave early this afternoon I’ve got a lot that needs done to get ready for tonight.”

I had work to clear before I left for the day and it was a bit of a rush to get to Susie’s on time, so when I arrived I was already a bit stressed up when I walked in and made myself known to her receptionist.. As it was a Friday the salon was full with other women getting ready for whatever they were going to do to enjoy their weekend, but Susie had booked in slots for me for all my treatments and so it was just a matter of changing from my day clothes into a smock and settling down with a coffee while I waited for my turn.

“As you can see we are a bit busy, so while you calm yourself down, we’ll clean off your face apply a moisturising mask and do your nails. Jenny said that your dress is coral and your accessories cerise, so I suggest we do your nails in cerise too. I’ll get Claire to look after you and she’ll follow up with a shampoo and condition for your hair, your colouring is a bit vivid for a formal do, we’ll tone it down a bit from ginger to more like a dark copper. I’ll see you later to start on your hair.” Claire applied the mask first, which meant that as she chatted away about various tv celebrities while doing my nails I wasn’t able to really reply much and just sat there getting more and more relaxed.

After my hair had been washed and coloured, Susie took over to do the styling. “What look are you after? We can do the slightly wild look that I first did for you, which will come across as a bubbly personality, or go for a more formal look, a but like the bob you wear for work, but a bit fuller and bouncy. Unfortunately your hair is to yet long enough for a more formal style unless we add a hairpiece, what do you think?”

“ Unless you think it will not work I quite like the idea of a formal style, a bit like that one, pointing to a picture in a magazine of a chignon updo, I think it will look sophisticated, and you have already suggested that the colour is toned down. Do you think that you can manage that?"

She worked quickly using all sorts of tools, tongs, styling brushes, asking me about Darren’s Uncle James and the various people at work and what I expected that evening.

“One thing we have never really talked about with you is that other women will show an interest in you, and after initial chat about your looks and clothes, it is not unusual for us to start talking about health issues, diets, skin care and things like that. It then often drifts onto medical problems and very soon we know virtually the other ones medical history from childhood, through puberty, period problems, childbirth, and menopause. Have you got a background sorted out yet, or do you want to use my story as if you had gone through it all yourself.”

“Is that really necessary, I hadn’t even thought about it, and if asked would have just clammed up and changed the conversation.”

“Not good enough. Along with other girls I would never discuss things like that with Jack or other boys, but us girls share our experiences much more than they do, so listen while I set up your life story based on mine.”

As she worked she told me all about the worries of teenage girls like her, getting fitted for their first bra and the embarrassment of being one of the last in her class to have to wear one; the shock pain and horror when she had her first period, nothing she had been told in classes at school really prepared her for the actual event; the mixture of worry discomfort and the delight of her first sexual experience; the benefits and drawbacks of the various sanitary products; the worry several times when she thought she was pregnant when she was not ready to start a family, and the joy when she eventually was, at the right time.

As well as all the physical issues she gave me her take on the emotional ones too. She led me through the pains of lost first love, the bitterness of being dropped by a boyfriend she had high hopes for; the joy of finally meeting her fiancé and planning their future together; dealing with the patronising attitude of male bankers when she needed a loan to help start up her business; the frustration of not being able to go out with friends without some, usually half-drunk, man trying to pick her up, and the break up of her short marriage.

In the time I was under her care, hair styled, makeup expertly applied, much better than I could have managed myself even with Jenny’s help, I had learned more about her life, which was now to be the basis of my life if I was asked any personal matters, more than I would ever have imagined coming out in a discussion with her as a boy.

Eventually she was finished and I was amazed the results. “ All done Jane, you look gorgeous, you will wow them all tonight, the men will be all over you, the women will be looking at you with jealous eyes trying to find some fault in you. Go home, get yourself all dressed up, and don’t forget to send me a photo I want to see the complete finished product.

Back at home I had a really thorough body-wash, I didn’t dare risk the shower or bath, I didn’t want to ruin Susie’s work on my hair and makeup.

The cincher had done it’s work, my dress fitted me much better, even though it was not too fitted at the waist it was obvious that I now had a slim feminine waistline which emphasised what little hips and bottom I actually had, Even those areas had improved a little with the relocation of the fat that had previously been around my waist and overall I had an acceptable figure.

Jenny was astounded when she caught sight of me and I noticed tears of delight in her eyes.

“ You are really amazing Jane, at the start I never expected you to turn out so beautiful, I know what I said the other night, but you are really wasted as a boy. James will be proud to walk into the dinner dance with you tonight. Just some finishing touches, for my 21st Mum gave me a gorgeous set of diamond drop earrings and matching necklace that had belonged to her mum, I’ve not had the chance to wear them yet, but I’ll be delighted for you to borrow them for tonight.”

“There you are Jane, they look stunning on you, take care of them, I wouldn’t like them to get damaged or lost. Enjoy your night out, and above all just be yourself, as Jane.”

Jenny insisted on taking lots of photos of me in all my finery and had me in all sorts of poses. “Those are just for you and me Jen, don’t even circulate them around the girls. I did promise Susie one so she could see the finished effect of all her hard work. Pick out the best and send them to her, but label them as Jane Harrison and put a lock on them so that they cant be passed on or copied. Don’t forget that copies of photos when we were kids are what led to all this.”

As arranged, James came to collect me, opened the Jaguar passenger door for me to slide in and waited for me to rearrange the skirt of my dress before closing me in.

“You look stunning Jane, I’ll be proud to walk you in tonight. As I told you, as President I have a few formal duties and there are some people I need to chat to, so you will have to mix and look after yourself a little bit, but I will keep an eye on you and if you look a bit at sea I will soon join you again.”

“To give him an excuse to leave me for a while, I made off to the cloakroom to do a final fix on my hair and check my makeup and in there I chatted to a few of the other wives, girlfriends or partners, and they seemed a friendly enough bunch. As Sally had told me it would be, I was not overdressed but was definitely one of the more glamorous and elegant of the Ladies and noticed lots of envious glances at my clothes and appearance. As I left I couldn’t see James and looked around the room for him.

“Hi dear, you look a bit lost, this must be your first time here. I’m Caroline and I’m an old hand at this game, my husband is the Past President and we will be sitting next to you on top table. The men invite us along for what is supposed to be a special night for their Ladies, but they always end up in groups plotting and scheming, leaving us to talk amongst ourselves. Let me introduce you to a few of the others, then you will be a bit more settled.”

“Hello, I'd welcome that thank you for caring about me, I’m Jane Harrison, I work with James Cartwright.”

“That’s what I assumed when you came in with him. You must be his new PA, he has brought Sally to the last few events, she was always immaculately dressed like you, I think James employs girls for their looks as well as for their talent. Nice girl Sally, I hear she is about to have her baby.”

“ Yes, any time now, she seemed quite excited, but I think she is dreading the actual birth.”

“We’re all the same dear, the first six months are not too bad apart from the early morning sickness, the next three months you waddle around like a bloated duck, the actual birth can be excruciatingly painful, but when they put the baby in your arms all that is forgotten and you are on top of the world. You probably have all that still to come, but don’t be put off by an old curmudgeon like me, we all have to suffer for our pleasures.” She made me laugh, I liked Caroline, hopefully anyone else I met would be just as friendly.

As she introduced me around, I met someone who at first sight I thought was Liz from the office, but it turned out that she was her sister, Judy. At least that gave me something to talk to her about. Apparently she was there with her boyfriend Alistair who worked for one of the rivals of Cartwright’s. I had something buzzing in the back of my brain, and it all fell into place when Alistair walked over, put his arm around Judy and introduced himself to me, this was not only Alistair Ridgeley who had tried to outbid James, but he was also the man in the photo that had fallen out of Sally’s purse. Connections seemed to be going in all directions. As Alistair went off again I was about to try to pump more information out of Judy when James came over, took me by the elbow and led me from the room.

Worried that something was amiss I waited for him to tell me what he wanted, and he saw the look of concern on my face.

“Don’t worry, nothing is wrong, It’s time to sit down for our meal, but as President I have to formally process in, along with my lady, when I am introduced.”

When he heard his name called we linked arms and formally walked to our table, all eyes were upon us, most of the mens’ particularly focused on me. I felt like a bride must feel walking down the aisle to be given away by her father, everyone waited for us to get to the top table and take our seats before sitting down themselves.

I felt a blush of embarrassment, but luckily Caroline and her husband Martin had swapped seats so she was next to me and I felt her squeeze my hand and whisper ‘Just relax and smile, most of the Ladies here have been sitting where you are now and we know how we all felt, a mixture of pride, excitement, embarrassment and fear.”

Her friendly manner and constant chat helped me to relax, enjoy a delicious meal, and even look interested through the few formal speeches and votes of thanks, but it was soon time for the socialising while the tables were cleared to the side of the room to make space for the dancing.

As both Sally and Caroline had told me would happen James started touring around mixing with other members and their guests. I meandered around making small talk, but when I spotted her, I made a beeline for Judy who rushed into the cloakroom where she burst into tears.

“What’s up Judy.” I asked as I put a consoling arm around her shoulder.

“He’s dumped me. After all the months we have been together, he brings me to a do like this and then tells me that it is all over, my time is up. That is actually what he said, “ your time is up, you’ve served your purpose, it’s time to move on.”

“ What are you going to do now, go back in there and make a scene which he will wriggle out of as all his friends will look on you as a possessive neurotic woman, or get yourself tidied up and we’ll walk out of here together giggling, with your head held high,? We’ll find you a taxi and send you home. I have some things to clear up here, tell me your address and I will be there as soon as I can get away.”

“ Thanks Jane you're right. It is really good of you to be concerned, you’ve only just met me.”

“Come on Judy, we girls have to stick together, I know what it feels like to be dumped, but I got over it and found someone better, and so will you.” I said as I remembered some of the stories Susie had told me in the Salon, “Fix your makeup and hair and we’ll walk out of here together.”

Caroline saw leaving and started to come over, but I gave a slight shake of my head, silently mouthed ‘Later’ and walked Judy from the building, hailed a taxi and sent her home.

Caroline was waiting as I went back in. “What was all that about is the poor girl not well?”

“It’s just the same old story Caroline, girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, boy loses interest, boy dumps girl, girl falls to pieces, boy goes on with his life as if nothing has happened.”

“Men can be scumbags, my Martin is one of the few good ones, but there are not many others in here that I would trust with my daughter, some of them are so full of themselves and treat their womenfolk appallingly. A word of advice, when you find the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, take things slowly, let him make the pace with just a gentle subtle nudge when it is needed, don’t throw yourself at him.”

“I’ve no immediate plans on the horizon, but I’ll remember your wise words, thanks Caroline.”

We made our way back into the function room but there was no indication that anyone had noticed the little drama that had just happened.

“Have either of you seen Judy lately?” Alistair rudely interrupted our chat.

“ I’ve just seen her into a taxi home, she was not feeling too well.” I replied trying to keep the disgust out of my voice.

“That’s a shame, the dancing is about to start, I don’t suppose you would like to join me on the floor would you Jane, and maybe we could have a drink together sometime.”

“Alistair it’s hardly ten minutes since you callously dumped your long-term girlfriend and you have the gall to already be lining up another bit of skirt to show off to your friends. You are an insensitive selfish… oh words fail me that a Lady would use. I’d dance with every other man in the room before I would give you that pleasure. Please go before I say something I’ll regret.”

He glared at me and raised his arm as if he was about to hit me, when there was a hand on his shoulder and James and Martin edged him away. “You don’t really want to do that do you Alistair, hitting a young lady would not go down very well with most of the senior members.”

“You bitch, mouthy women like you make me sick. I hope that James treats you better than he treated Sally.” he roared as he stormed off.

“ Are you ok Jane?” Martin touched me gently on the arm .

“I’ll be fine, thanks for asking Martin, I don’t know how you allow trash like him to be in your organisation. James we need to talk, Caroline and Martin please excuse us for a few minutes.”

“ I thought that you were supposed to try to get information from him not start a fight, what on earth possessed you,?” James asked when we were alone.

“Alistair, who tried do the dirty on you over The Bolton Centre just dumped his girlfriend Judy, who happens to be the sister of Liz in your office, don’t you think there might be a connection there. Not only that, and you are not going to like this, but Sally your wonderful ex PA carries a photo of Alistair around in her purse. Strange coincidence yes?”

“My God, you have been busy. What do you have in mind now.?’

“ If it’s not inappropriate for me to leave, I promised to go round to Judy’s to let her cry on my shoulder a bit. Sorry if it’s ruined what should have been a proud night for you.”

“Not at all, you go and see what you can do for her, and this might sound callous, see what information you can get out of her.”

“Make my apologies to anyone who asks, just say ‘women’s problems’, the men will ask no more, the women will nod sympathetically. I’ll just say goodbye to Caroline, she has been like a mother hen for me tonight, I like her, and I hope to see her again.”

I found Caroline, told her where I was going and she asked if I wanted her to come with me, as Martin would be chatting with his friends most of the night anyway.

“Thanks for asking Caroline, but I’ll be ok on my own. If you want to help, occasionally loiter near Alistair and let me know if, while he is still in a bit of a rage, he makes any indiscreet comments about a development project up at Bolton Manor. I’ll give you a call tomorrow and arrange to meet up.” Even though we had only met a few hours earlier I felt close enough to her to give her a big goodbye hug before I left.

When I arrived at Judy’s, I was surprised to see her sister Liz sitting next to her, both of them in tears.

“What’s up, this is more than getting cast aside by that sleaze-bag Alistair isn’t it?”

They looked at each other and nodded before Liz started to speak through her tears.

“You’re right, it’s not as simple as that. He has been using Judy to get information from me about what projects we had on the go at work. At first it was just casual chats between him and Judy and between Judy and me, passing on office gossip, but then he started to get more pushy, asking for copies of correspondence and documents. When I refused he started to blackmail me, either I did what he wanted or he would ‘accidentally’ drop hints to James at their Rotary meetings and I would lose my job. We are struggling as it is and if I lost my wages we would be in deep trouble.”

“James knows that someone had passed on details of the Bolton development to Acumen, was that you?”

“Not really, when all this started he already knew about it, but he wanted eyes and ears on the ground to keep him up to date with details. Am I going to get the sack or get in trouble with the police over this?”

“I wouldn’t worry about the police, I am fairly certain that you have done nothing illegal. However, how Mr Cartwright will react is anybody’s guess, it depends what else we find out.”

“You seem to know more than you are letting on, have you been spying on us all?”

“ Not really, I knew that somehow information had got to Acumen, as Mr Cartwright told me to be careful about what I said about the project and to tell him if I heard any office gossip that might be relevant, but until tonight I had no reason to doubt anyone in the office, He thought it was someone in the Council Planning Office, but I have become involved now haven’t I?”

I paused to gather my thoughts before continuing.

“Tell me something, Judy, how did you become involved with Alistair anyway?”

“Just over four months ago, Liz and I were at the shopping mall, we bumped into Sally and she joined us for coffee. A while later Alistair came over, he recognised Sally from the Rotary dances as he was passing and started to chat to us. He can be quite charming when he wants to be, he asked me out for a meal and drink and it just went from there.

“So Judy, it looks like you were set up by Sally to meet him so he could then use you to get the office gossip from Liz, do you agree? By then Sally would have known she was pregnant and was looking for a replacement to feed information to Alistair.”

“We’ve been idiots Jane, he manipulated us. Will you put in a good word for Liz with Mr Cartwright to try and save her job.”

“I’ll have a word with Sally tomorrow and see what she has to say for herself. It all depends on her side of the story. I’ll let you know over the weekend whether to come to work on Monday.”

“Hi Cinderella, how was the ball,” Jenny jokingly greeted me as I got home.

“It was super until it all went pear-shaped and I had to leave early.” We went through a whole bottle of wine as I gave her the complete story from when I was first approached by Darren.

“Wow, that is some story, you’re turning into a right Miss Marple, only 40 something years younger of course.”

“I don’t think we have the full story yet, I feel that there is a lot more behind this. We’ll see where my chat tomorrow with Sally leads me to. Anyway it’s now time to put away this gorgeous dress, it’s a shame that I didn’t even get a full night out in it, a bit of a waste really.”

“Oh, I’m sure that there will be another opportunity for you to get it out again.”

To be continued.

Saturday morning, after a restless night going over everything in my head, I called Sally to ask if it was ok to pop round for a chat, to see how she was getting on and clear up a few work matters for me, as she was getting so close to her due date and would soon not be interested in office problems.

As it was a pleasant spring morning I decided to go dressed casual, light makeup, a calf-length denim skirt and a cotton scoop-neck half-sleeved top. It was the right image to put her at ease before hitting her with the bombshell accusation of passing on confidential information.

She greeted me warmly, and as she was obviously having difficulty moving around, I offered to make us coffees, if that was ok, and she settled on the sofa in the large kitchen/diner while I brewed up.

“Is Harry not around this morning Sally?”

“No, he had to go out.” She quickly replied rather defensively.

We chatted about minor office matters and she then asked about my night at the dinner-dance, which gave me the opening to raise the subject that I had really come to discuss.

I gave it to her straight including all the details of the row between Judy and Alistair and what had been told to me by Liz and Judy. The more I told her, the more ashen her face became and she burst into tears.

“Did you deliberately set up Judy with Alistair so she could pass on information from Liz?”

She just nodded unable to speak through her sobbing.

“Before that had you been passing information to Alistair?”

Again, she just nodded.

“Why?”

She took a deep breath, choked back her tears and once she started speaking out came a long story about how she had met Alistair at the dinner-dance, how he had charmed her, wined and dined her, and they had begun an affair.

“He soon started asking me about Cartwright’s proposed projects with a threat that if I did not cooperate he would tell my husband about the affair. At the time I was not in a good mood with James so I cooperated.”

“What was up with you and James, I thought that you got on really well together? Last night Alistair, in his anger, told me that he hoped that James would treat me better than he had treated you. What happened?”

“Not long after Helen his wife died I went with him to an evening reception organised by one of the construction companies who work for us. It finished quite early and as Harry was away on business and there was no rush to get home, we went for a drink together. Something triggered him off and he went very maudlin, talking about Helen, and using me as a shoulder to cry on. To cut a long story short, a sympathetic hug by me led to us spending the night together, which acted as a break in the dam of him holding his emotions in check.

The next day at work he told me quite bluntly that it was a big mistake, that it should never have happened and would not be repeated. In a way I was not too bothered about it, in fact I was glad as I was feeling really guilty for cheating on Harry and I could understand his emotional state. However a few days later he offered me a pay rise, which I assumed was a bribe for me to forget all about our night together. That really upset me, I felt that he looked on me as cheap and easy, not much more than a working hostess or even worse, a prostitute that could be paid off. I was so angry that I told him where to stick his pay rise and things were very frosty between us for a while. Later, after I started meeting Alistair I told him about it and that’s when he asked me to pass on information, I was so angry with James that I agreed.”

“It’s nothing to do with me, and tell me to leave if you want, but is your baby Alistair’s rather than Harry’s?”

“I’m certain that it is, at the time of the affair Harry was abroad for a month on business.”

“I assume that you told Alistair, and that he wasn’t interested in you anymore, which is why you had to help him rope in Judy and Liz.”

Again she burst into tears and just nodded.

The more I heard about Alistair the more ashamed I became of the way many men treat women, and just hoped that as Jack, I would never stoop so low.

All of a sudden she clasped her stomach and screamed.

“All this stress has started me off, my waters have just broken, please get me to hospital.”

I quickly grabbed up her maternity bag with all the essentials already packed for her to go to hospital, helped her to my car and drove crazily to the local maternity unit, booked her in and left her in the care of the midwife team. I was just leaving when she called out as they were leading her into the delivery suite “Please stay Jane, I need somebody with me.”

Despite my feelings for her as a cheat and a liar, I realised that she needed somebody with her and sat down to wait. After a few minutes one of the midwives called me in.

“We’ve got her settled now and are just waiting for baby to decide to appear, Sally has asked if you will go in and sit with her, she needs a friendly hand to hold.”

I felt anything but friendly, but she needed someone and it looked like I as the nearest, so I sat next to her bed and held her hand and chatted to try to keep her calm.

“Now you know the full story, what’s going to happen to me will I be sent to prison for fraud or something.”

“Forget about that for the moment, you have more important things to deal with. I’ll ring Harry for you, he should be here with you, not me.”

“He found out that the baby is not his and has gone away for a few days to think about what he wants to do.”

“Let me call him anyway, now it’s crunch time , if he loves you he will come.”

I called him, told him that Sally had been rushed to hospital and that he should be here for her, then heard the click as he cut the call. I shrugged my shoulders and Sally looked so disappointed.

I sat with her the rest of the morning, her contractions were getting more frequent and it was almost time for her. Suddenly the door opened and a man, who I assumed to be Harry, burst in, rushed over and kissed her gently on the cheek. At that point I decided to leave them to sort things out between themselves and went down the corridor to get a coffee.

I looked through the window into Sally’s room and everything looked fine, they were holding hands, smiling and chatting away and I turned to leave, At that point Harry noticed me and waved me to come in.

“Thanks for looking after Sally for me, it’s just as well you were there.” I didn’t have the heart to spoil their precious moments, by telling him why I was there and that I thought my accusations may have brought on her labour, and I left them, any dealings on her dishonesty could wait for another time.

I decided to try to clear things up in my head, there was so much buzzing around and I couldn’t relax and settle , so decided to find out if anything had developed after I left in a hurry last night.

“Hi Caroline, it’s Jane, from last night, can we meet somewhere to talk about what happened after I left?”

“Come on over to my house, it will be a lot better than meeting in a café or hotel, and we’’ll be able to talk a lot more openly. Martin is out playing golf and we will have plenty time to talk, I have a lot to tell you.”

She gave me directions and I was soon sitting in her conservatory looking out over the manicured lawn and perfectly cared-for shrubs and flower beds, with tea and cakes on the table next to us.

“Before we start, Sally is in hospital and probably having her baby as we speak. I visited her this morning and she went into labour as we talked about the problems at work, so I had to rush her in. Harry, her husband is in there with her now.”

“It’s good that he is with her, it must have been worrying for you thinking that it would all be down to you when you hardly knew her, After you left last night , I saw Alistair mouthing off at Andrew Hargreaves about something and went over to listen. Alistair was still quite angry and worked up, moaning about you, Liz, and Sally, and I caught the end of their conversation.

“Look Hargreaves, our arrangement is now off, nothing is going to come our way with the Bolton development, it’s all the fault of that stupid woman getting herself pregnant and then suggesting that the baby is mine.” Alistair was almost screaming said Caroline

”I assume that he was talking about Sally.”

“You’re right, and the baby is definitely his, Sally told me as I rushed her in to the hospital.”

“Then Hargreaves grabbed him. ‘I’ve heard of another scheme you might be interested in Alistair, I assume we can make the same deal as we did with the Bolton development, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. I am due to retire soon and another addition to my pension pot would do no harm.’ Then Ridgeley replied ‘I’m sure that we can come to an arrangement that would suit both of us Andrew.’. That seemed to calm down the atmosphere between them and they then went to speak to other people.”

“That’s brilliant Caroline, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. I don’t suppose that there was anyone with you at the time, another witness to what was said would be useful.”

“She burst into a big self-satisfied grin, “ Even better than that, I set my phone running on record in my bag before I sidled up near to them. It’s a little bit muffled but you can easily make out the conversation and recognise the voices.” I listened to it, played it back again and could hardly believe what I was hearing, it was exactly what I wanted to hear.

“Please send it to me. I know that you will have lots of questions for me, but I really must go to have a talk with James. I promise to come back later and tell you more, you have been brilliant.” I quickly left and arranged to meet James at his house.

“This had better be good Jane, you have dragged me off the golf course, it’s the only me-time I have when I get away from the pressures of work.” James said but he was smiling as he knew that it had to be important.

He was getting impatient to reach the punch-lines of what I had discovered but he mostly kept quiet as I went through the events of last night and earlier in the day and played Caroline’s recording for him.

“We’ll deal with Sally and Liz later, but first things first. I was due to play a round of golf this morning with Joe Riley, the Assistant Chief Constable, so I know that he is free. I’ll get him to come over and you can go through it all with him again. You can tell him that I brought you in to find out what was happening, but I would keep Jack and his role as an investigative journalist out of the picture for the present if I was you.”

After going through it all again with the ACC , Joe Riley thought for a moment while he considered the best way forward. “Let’s keep the lid on this for the moment, I’ll get the regional Fraud Squad to look into their finances, phone call records. email patterns and things like that, I’m sure that this is just the tip of the iceberg. You’ve done a super job Jane, if ever you fancy working with real investigative teams, give me a call, I’m sure we can fast-track you up the ladder.”

I left them to continue their discussions and made my way home, via the hospital where I stopped to check up on Sally. By now her baby had been delivered and she was sleeping, with Harry dozing next to her holding her hand. I left them alone, but checked with the nurse I had met earlier that everything had gone as planned and that the baby girl was doing well.

I returned to Caroline’s and without giving too much away, told her that the police were now investigating Ridgeley and Hargreaves for corruption offences and that her recording was enough for them to take it all seriously. I promised to come back andtell her more when things unfolded. It would be good to visit her again anyway, she was reliable and sensible, but good fun with it.

“Where’ve you been all day Jane,I was beginning to get worried about you.” Jenny said when I arrived home, before we were interrupted by my mother coming in from the kitchen.

“Well hello Jane, I was shocked when Jenny finally told me all about you, but she didn’t say that I now have two beautiful daughters, come and give your mum a hug.”

“Oh Mum, I can’t tell you what I have been doing, it will all come out in public soon. For various reasons I have had to act as a woman for the last few weeks and Jenny and her friends have been amazing in making me convincing.”

“And they have done a good job too, you certainly look and sound the part. While I still have the chance I would like to get to know my new daughter better. I was worried that I had not heard from you and came to see Jenny to check if she knew where you were, and it all came out. Get freshened up both of you, we are going out for a meal, drink, and a long chat, I don’t know about you but I definitely need it all.”

As she asked me lots of questions about how I felt appearing as a woman, was I comfortable working among women, how long had I been dressing as a woman, whether I was comfortable wearing the clothes I had on and using makeup, she kept staring at me with a look of wonder in her eyes. She was not critical or angry, just totally bewildered at how I was now presenting myself, but she seemed to accept that there was nothing she could say or do that would alter what I was doing.

“At least I now know that you are alright and can stop worrying. But I think we’ll keep your father out of this, I suspect he won’t be as tolerant and understanding as me.” As she left she gave me a big hug and kiss goodbye, something we hadn’t done to each other for a long time.

“Ok Jane, now Mum has gone, what have you been up to all day?”

I gave Jenny updates on my discussions with the sisters, Sally, and Caroline, and what they had done, keeping the names of Alistair and Andrew to myself. Joe Riley had asked me to keep most details under wraps so as not to compromise the investigations.

After the events of the day, I needed to unwind and clear my mind and suggested that Jenny phone the girls see if any were free for a quiet girls night out. Susie and Linda already had plans but Babs was happy to join us.

“ Hi princess, Jenny zapped the photos over to me last night, you looked a treat, you’re really wasted as a boy you know.”

“Thanks Babs, er I think.”

You looked gorgeous dressed up and with all Susie’s good work on you, I bet you felt really special.”

“I did, especially when James and I had to process into the main room, arms linked. I felt like a bride must feel on her wedding day, all eyes were on me, the centre of attention.”

“It’ll be a shame if you never get to feel that for real Jane.”

“ I don’t think that will ever happy Babs, remember who I really am.”

“ Like I said before, you are wasted as a boy.”

“Anyway I’m here to talk about anything else but what I have been up to, anything exciting happen in your life today?” I jumped in to change the subject. We had a pleasant night down at the local hotel, chatting about all sorts of inconsequential things, tv programmes, news of the day, how fit the guys at the bar were, where to go next time all the girls were together again, and general gossip about people we all knew, all the while knocking back a couple of bottles of wine between us.

That night I had a really deep sleep, getting to grips with my investigation had really relaxed me.

I woke up early on Sunday, feeling fresh and full of energy despite all the wine the previous night, grabbed a light breakfast of yoghurt and fruit salad, washed down with coffee, had a quick brush of my hair and checked that my face was fit to be seen in public, threw on a jogging suit and went out for a run. That early nobody else was to be seen and it felt good to be out in public as natural as Jane as I could practically be. When I got back, feeling a bit flushed from the run, Jenny had managed to drag herself out of bed and I made her a light breakfast of scrambled egg and toast with a whole pot of coffee to get her back into the world of the living.

“Morning sleepyhead, it’s a glorious day out there.” I breezily greeted her as she ambled into the kitchen, to which she replied with a grunt and a groan. After a cup of coffee she was a little more sociable.

“What have you got planned for today Jane? After last night I am not in the mood for anything stimulating, I might just go back to bed for an hour or two.”

“First off, I am going to call James Cartwright to see if there are any updates from the police. Then I think it’s about time that I had a meeting with Mike Bradley my boss at The Post, I’ll give him a call to see if he can drag himself into the office on a Sunday, the place is normally fairly dead, everybody works online from home nowadays.”

“ Does that mean that you are about to break the story?”

“ It might be the right time to start leaking some details. James told me that the police had Hargreaves and Ridgeley down at the station for interview, and were intensively looking into their finances. No charges had yet been made, and in police-talk ‘ they were helping with enquiries’.”

Reverting to my natural Jack voice, at least in pitch even if some of the phrasing and stressing was tainted by my weeks of femininity. I arranged to call in to the office an hour later. I had two choices, either go in dressed as Jack even though my hair was a very feminine colour and style, and my eyebrows had been fully arched by Susie, or appear as Jane, which would no doubt come as a shock to him. I decided that Jane would be the lesser of two evils, but that I would tone down the clothes and makeup to a minimum, after all it was a Sunday and other than if they were going to church, most people dressed-down.

I was glad that the door to our office complex was locked and that I needed to use my passkey to get in, it meant that there was only a minimum staffing level. I nervously made my way upstairs and walked through an empty main office, normally a hive of activity, to Mike’s private office, warily knocked on the door and went in.

Mike looked up to see an unfamiliar attractive young woman, smartly but casually dressed in a flared loose skirt and boat-neck top.

“Can I help you dear, we are not really working today and you shouldn’t have been able to get in.”

“I sat down opposite him, placed my bag on the floor next to me, looked him directly in the eye, and took a deep breath before speaking.

“Mike despite what I look and sound like it is me Jack Carter, although it will be better if you call me Jane for the moment.” He had a look of amazement on his face, his eyes wide, his mouth open as his chin dropped, and looked at a loss for words, so I just continued.

“I promised you a big story and I’m here to deliver it. I’ve been working undercover for the last few weeks and for various reasons it has been necessary for me to present as the woman you see before you.”

“It’s not another transgender story is it, there seems to be one splashed in the papers every week now, and quite frankly I think our readers are getting bored with them.”

“How about a corruption scandal at the council, is that different enough for you?” His eyes lit up and I had his full attention. Teasingly, I got up and went to the door. “ Mike this is as confusing and difficult for me as it is for you. I’ll give you a moment to have a think while I go and get coffee, I assume the machine is left on over the weekend. I felt his eyes boring into my back as I walked down the office to get the drinks, returned and sat down again.

“Let’s rewind Jack,,,,, sorry Jane. Give me a quick outline. And then go back to the beginning and tell me all the details.

“The bottom line is that I am told that, as we speak, Andrew Hargreaves the council Chief planning Officer. And Alistair Ridgeley a director of Acumen Developments are being interviewed by the Fraud Squad in relation to abuse of confidential information, bribery and corruption, and possible blackmail and extortion. It’s early stages but there is enough evidence to hold them at least on the blackmail charge while other enquiries are going on.”

“Give me a moment Jane, I want to have a confidential chat with one of my regular informants down at the station, and it’s best if you do not know who it is. Take your coffee and find a seat in the office for a few minutes.”

Five minutes later he came over to me, beaming like as if he had won the lottery. “It’s all been confirmed. There is a limit to what we can publish at this stage but they can’t stop us printing most of what we, sorry what you, already know. Monday morning’s paper is already set up, it’s rare for a major story to break on a Sunday and with not many of the staff in today it’s too late to reset the pages, but if we can knock something together between us today we should make tomorrow’s later afternoon edition.”

For the next hour or so, I gave him all the details as he scribbled away memory-jogging notes. I left nothing out, including the personal involvement of Liz, Judy and Sally. At the end he took a deep breath.

“What a story Jane. For tomorrow we’ll just run the headline and the bare facts, without naming names, until charges are made we run the risk of being sued for libel and defamation of character. The corruption of the women is a human interest follow up story, that can wait for the moment. How do you want to play your involvement, do you want the byline credit to Jack Carter or do you want to continue investigating as Jane Harrison?”

“Let’s keep it as ‘Staff Reporter’ for a while, I think there is more to get from my sources, and they all know me as Jane, if I suddenly turn up as Jack, or Jane’s name is listed and I am outed as a reporter, my relationship with them would be stretched a bit.”

“That’s another story for the future, how Jack morphed into Jane to get the story. I know I said that the readership was getting a bit bored with transgender stories, but you have a novel twist on it to tell. I am amazed at how you have turned out, you are more attractive, feminine, and if I can say so without being sued for sexual harassment, more of a woman than a lot of the female staff here.”

We agreed what to include and for the next two hours I typed a draft of the story. As discussed with Mike, nobody was actually named, but merely hinted at, and there was regular use of the word ‘alleged’. There was not enough to go on at this stage to take over the whole front page, but the main banner headline. ‘SENIOR COUNCIL OFFICER IN CORRUPTION INVESTIGATION’ said it all, with a summary of the details and a promise that The Post investigation would reveal much more later. After a couple of revisions and edits from Mike, he was satisfied that there were no legal issues and that the story would run in the noon edition.

“Right Jane, that’s enough for today, you’ve done a great job. I know it’s a cliché, but us reporters have a reputation as drinkers, let’s go and celebrate, this could be the making of your career.”

“Sounds good to me. I’m not dressed for anywhere fancy, let’s just go down the road to the usual watering hole.”

“You’ve been living as a woman too long Jane, you even think like one now worrying about how you are dressed. You are fine as you are, let’s go.”

In the bar, Mike treated me as he would any other woman, going to the bar for the drinks, sitting opposite me so that we were looking at each other as we chatted, and even standing up to hug me goodbye as I left for home. I now saw him differently to the slightly grumpy patronising boss that I had in my mind before today. From now on working with him would have a much easier relationship between us.

To be continued.

Chapter 9
Breaking News

When I arrived back home Jenny was desperate for updates, but first I needed to make several calls.

My first call was to James to let him know that the official line from The Post was that the story had been leaked by a police source to my editor and that there was no link to me or to him. I had a long discussion with him about how Liz and been drawn into Ridgeley’s web of corruption, and was distraught at the likelihood of losing her job, which she desperately depended on.I finally got him to agree to keep Liz on, at least until the air cleared a bit.

My second call was to Liz to tell her to go into the office as normal on Monday, but that she needed to make sure that she kept quiet about it all for two reasons. If the other staff found out what she had done, she would not be very popular, but my main concern was that after finding out about her and Sally and their involvement in undermining the company, everyone else was still under suspicion to some degree.

My third call, which was the pleasantest of them all, was to Caroline, who, to be honest, was the only person in this affair I really trusted, except for my family and long-term friends.

“Hi Caroline, it’s Jane. I thought that I’d let you know that following on from what you told me, Hargreaves and Ridgeley are now down at police headquarters’ helping with enquiries’, and that the the story has somehow been leaked to the press. Make sure you get a copy of tomorrow’s late edition of The Post, which will tell you a lot more about what is going on. A lot of it is down to you and that recording you made.Thank you for helping me to point the police in the right direction, but I am certain that there is an awful lot more to come out yet.. I’ll keep in touch and we must get together again soon.”

“I’d like that, it’s a while since I had a bit of excitement in my life, it’s given me a bit of a buzz, I’d love to meet up again.”

Monday started quietly and normally. I had a serious discussion with Liz and got her to agree that she and Judy would talk openly to the police about how she had been groomed, blackmailed and corrupted by Alistair, leaving nothing out of her statement, the more she described how she had been forced into passing on the information, the more likely it would be that James would let her keep her job.and and I then left her to it.

I had another long chat with James about Liz and Sally, and he confirmed that he would initiate no action against Liz unless more came out in the wash and she was not as innocent as she appeared to be. Sally was a totally different matter, he had placed a lot of trust in her and felt really let down.

Everything changed when the late edition of The Post hit the streets causing a sensation. The police were on to Mike to try to get him to reveal his sources for the story, they were deeply concerned that it would compromise their investigations. The local TV news editors were after more information, TV crews and journalist packs were camped outside the Police headquarters, it was the most exciting story to hit the city for as long as most people could remember.

James took an angry call from ACC Joe Riley demanding to know if he or I were the source of the leak, but James reminded him that the story suggested that the information came from sources at Police Headquarters and that he should look to his own staff rather than blame us, Mike and I had decided to keep my involvement under wraps for the immediate future.

The police were badgered into making a statement confirming that a senior council official and a local property developer were being questioned in detail over allegations of corruption, that their background and finances were being scrutinised, and that they were being held on other minor charges that were not being disclosed.

Still trying to conceal my anonymity and build up a façade of innocence, as James’ PA I called the council offices and asked to speak to Andrew Hargreaves and it was confirmed that he had not turned up for work that morning and did not know where he was and when he would return. Similarly Acumen had not seen or heard from Alistair Ridgeley. If anyone asked them they could confirm that I had called, not knowing that the pair were already in custody.

I needed to develop my story for The Post and arranged for Angie to cover my office duties while I locked myself away in Darren’s office, which was hardly ever used as he was out at meetings most of the time.

I settled down and wrote a much more extensive piece suggesting that it was believed that the people being questioned were Hargreaves, the council’s Chief Planning Officer and Ridgeley, a director of Acumen Developments, a major property investment company, but that this was still to be confirmed by the police, I researched their backgrounds from childhood and schooldays, the jobs they had been involved with over the years and their current positions and lifestyle. Both of them had risen from humble working-class backgrounds and following successful university lives they had risen up the social ladder to the positions they now held.

Ridgeley in particular had benefited from a scholarship to an independent private school, leading to entry to one of the major uk universities and a a Masters degree in construction practice and law. There he had formed friendships with many people who were now ‘captains of industry’, and with whom he socialised and schemed to forge his career. Everything I read about him showed him to be arrogant, deceitful and totally untrustworthy.

Hargreaves, although I didn’t like him and his attitudes personally which coloured my judgement of him, seemed to have attained his position through hard work and being successful in the various steps up the ladder. However it soon became apparent that his lifestyle was well above his pay-grade, which strengthened the case that on the way he had fallen into corrupt schemes not just with Ridgeley but with others too. It made me wonder that if he was on the take, that others in his department may very well have fallen into the same situations.

Rather than the brief piece that I originally wrote this was a much more detailed piece and was certain to be splashed over the front page of The Post, spilling over onto the inner pages.It was also briefly suggested that it was all in relation to a major development at Bolton Manor, but as it was not too relevant at this stage, little was said about that.

Having checked it throughly and made sure that I hadn’t said anything libellous and which could result in being sued for defamation I emailed it off to Mike and received a call from him within a few minutes.

“Great piece Jane. Two minor problems though. The police are screaming at me wanting to know the sources of our information, and the staff here are all desperate to know who is breaking the story for us. At the moment I’m fobbing off the police referring them to our lawyers and claiming press confidentiality of sources, and telling the staff that I have an undercover investigative reporter closely involved with the people under arrest, which is keeping them happy. Following up on the story, and keeping you under wraps, I would like to speak to James Cartwright to get his comments on the story about Bolton Manor, please ask him if he will take my call.

I rang through to James and convinced him that his company had done nothing wrong and that it would do no harm for him to give his side of the story, besides Mike knew that James had taken me on to get to the bottom of things and it was unfair for him to creep back into his shell now. He finally agreed to take the call and I left them to it, and went out into the office to talk with Liz.

“Just to let you know Jane, Judy and I have arranged to make a formal statement to the police about Alistair and his activities and how he recruited and used us. They say that they need formal statements so that they can continue to hold him on blackmail and coercion charges while they are gathering more evidence on the corruption charges, Is it ok to go off for probably the rest of the day to go to see the investigation team?”

“Get yourself down there Liz, and don’t hold back, the more you tell them, the better it will go down with Mr Cartwright, and the more likely you are to keep your job.”

There was a lot of gossip in the office, it was obvious to the others that something was up and that Cartwright’s was deeply involved somehow, and I became the centre of attention as if they knew that it was something to do with me. I felt that I had to just get out of there.

I was glad to get out of the office and all the discussions about the news story, but instead of going straight home. I called in to see Mike at The Post.

The building was still fully staffed so I had to go through the procedures of acting as a visitor to see Mr Bradley. As I walked through the newsroom to get to his office there were a lot of questioning looks and murmurs, wondering who the attractive smartly dressed and well groomed young woman was, as he usually refused to see visitors and I could hear the gossip already starting. He greeted me warmly with a quick hug, which could be seen through the picture window of his office and probably reinforced the gossip, and ordered coffee to be brought in for us.

“Your second piece is already out in the late edition, it is the talk not just of the town but the whole area. We have received several calls from other developers about the activities of both Hargreaves and Ridgeley, as well as others in the planning team and even local politicians. I have passed details on to the police which seems to have calmed them down a little and they are no longer demanding to know my sources. It seems that your investigation is only the tip of the iceberg and that there is a much wider web of corruption and bribery. so the sooner you get back to working here, the sooner we can keep pushing this story. I want you to be my lead on it, after all it is you that has done all the hard work up until now”

“I’m glad that the police seem to think they have something on those two. I didn’t like either of them when we met, it seems my instincts were right. When I went to Hargreaves’s office with James, I immediately saw him as a smarmy patronising boss that I could never in a million years work for. As regards Ridgeley, I had only met him a few minutes previously when he started insulting me and would have struck me if others had not intervened. They are both the type of characters that give men a bad name and cause women to constantly moan about them and class you all as lying scheming heartless wastes of space.”

“Whoa there, come down from that feminist platform, you’ve been spending too much time listening to the moans of your girl friends. let’s get back to where we go from here. I think that it is time that you came out from behind your cloak of anonymity and took the plaudits for your work. I would like you to come back to the office and work full time on this story, it has a long way to go and it’s getting more and more difficult to keep you at arms length.”

“I understand, however, as I said before, I have gained the trust of a lot of people as Jane, and while this story is running, I would like that to continue. I am quite happy to be revealed as a reporter but If I come back it would have to be as Jane Harrison.”

‘ I’ve no problems with that if it is what you want and are comfortable continuing as a woman. However the staff out there are quite sharp and I’m sure they will want to know more about you, so you need to get your background story sorted out so they cannot trace you back to Jack. Leave it with me, It’s illegal, but as journalists we often bend the rules to get a good story. I know people who can furnish you all the official documents you need listing you as Jane Harrison, complete with a believable life history that will stand up to any casual investigation, but nothing is perfect. So don’t give anyone any reason to want to dig dirt about you.”

“Ok Mike, give me a couple of days to sort things at at Cartwright’s and then I will come in here full time and you can introduce Jane Harrison as your new lead reporter on this story.”

Back home, I called Mum and arranged for her to come over to the flat as there was something I wanted to talk to her and Jenny about.

“Right Mum, Jenny already knows most of what I am about to say, it’s a long story so don’t interrupt with too many questions. You will have read the paper today about the corruption at the council office, the reporter that broke that story is me, which is why I have been living as Jane for a while. It was felt that I would more easily be able to relate to some of the people involved as a woman. What I am about to tell you is not yet confirmed and a lot of things are not yet public, so I want your promise that you will keep this to yourself, even from Dad.”

I then went through the story of my investigation for her and she just sat there astounded and excited.

“Gosh J…ane, this is like something out of a crime novel, you have done a brilliant job, and the articles are so well written, I hope that your bosses appreciate what you have done.”

“They do, and I am going back to work at The Post full time from Thursday, But for the moment I am continuing to be Jane, there would be too many problems if I suddenly turned back to being Jack.”

“ I hope that it won’t be for too long, but you know what you are doing, besides, although I miss Jack, I quite like you as Jane.”

First thing the next morning I had another long meeting with James and stressed that I needed to get back to The Post, and apologised for leaving him in the lurch without a PA again, for the second time in a month.

“Leaving aside what you have done to Hargreaves and Ridgeley, I am sorry to see you go. Even though you have been distracted by your investigation you have done an excellent job. Before you go can you get on to the agencies to see if you can get a replacement at short notice.”

“I can do, if that’s what you want, but I have a better idea. Angie is still young but is quite well-qualified, efficient, gets on with everybody, and already knows how you operate and where things are. Give her a try for a while to see how you get on with her, I think she will surprise you. It’s a lot easier to replace an office junior and receptionist than it is to get a good PA that you can trust. It only took a couple of days for Sally to tell me everything I needed to know, I should be able to do the same with Angie. Then I would like to tell the others why I came here and why I am leaving so soon.”

“ That’s fine, you have made things turn out well in the end, although I am still not happy with what has been going on under my nose, but I’m willing to live with it for the moment. By the way, I’ve had a call from Sir Charles Bolton, he would like to speak to you.”

“ I wonder what he wants with me. I’ll sort out a few things first then I’ll give him a call.”

Ten minutes later a beaming Angie left James’ office and came straight over to see me. “Thank you so much, Jane. Mr Cartwright, oh I suppose I am now allowed to call him James, told me that it was your idea to make me his PA, I am ever so grateful, can I take you to lunch later to celebrate and talk through things with you?”

“I’m sure that you can cope with things and don’t need further instructions, but lunch sounds fine, I look forward to it. Leave that for the moment and please gather everyone together, including John and his team, there is something you all need to hear.”

While she was doing that I made a quick visit to the loo, and tidied up my hair, freshened my makeup and smoothed down my skirt, I wanted to look my best as I stood before them all.

“I apologise to you all in advance in case anyone thinks that I have been deceiving you. You will all have read the paper yesterday about the corruption allegations with Acumen Developments and the Planning Department, and I have to tell you that I am the reporter that broke the story, and there is more in today’s late edition. I was brought in here to find out if any of you were leaking information to Acumen, and I am delighted to say that the problems were elsewhere.”

I noticed a deep sigh of relief from Liz, as I had said that for her benefit, although no doubt her involvement would come out when the case went to court. Before continuing I was surprised to see the ashen expression on John Chisholm’s face, he had obviously realised something that he would rather I didn’t discover. I decided that I needed to look a little further into him and his background.

“From Thursday I will be going back to my main Job at The Post, and anything you read from now will be bylined ‘Jane Harrison’ rather than ’Staff Reporter’. Angie will be taking over here as PA to the partners, please support her. I have enjoyed working with you all the last few weeks and wish you and the company well, thank you.”

To give them time to take all that in I left the office for a while, wandering around the shops. Although I knew that my time as Jane could soon be over, I couldn’t resist buying another light casual skirt and light lacy top with a plain camisole to go under it. I thought that I may as well enjoy the rest of my time as a woman.

The rest of the morning I noticed lots of glances in my direction and muttering between the other women, but I supposed that was all really to be expected.

“Lunch with Angie was a really pleasant hour. As I had expected there were very few problems that she needed guidance on, so it turned out to be just a couple of girls chatting away about life in general. She told me that she was the first in her family to go to university, making her working-class parents extremely proud. “Before today, I seemed to be drifting a bit since leaving college, and letting them down after all their support. As the office junior I felt that my career was going nowhere and was considering moving on, but after talking to James about what he expected me to do for him, I realised how much value a good PA can be to a senior executive, and I am looking forward to working closely with him. I’ll always be grateful to you for putting me forward to take over from you.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but you deserve it. In return can I ask you a favour. It’s not directly relevant to the corruption at the council, but I am concerned that all is not as it should be in the office and that there is something else going on. Keep your eyes and eyes open for anything strange, I don’t know exactly what to tell you to look for,, but let me know if anything strikes you as unusual. Now that you all know that I am a reporter, I don’t think the others will be as open with me as they have been up until now.”

Back in the office, wondering what it could what it could be about, I rang Bolton Manor, and Marshall immediately put me through to Sir Charles.

“Good afternoon Sir Charles, James asked me to give you a call, what can I do for you?”

“I told you before, it’s just ‘Charles’ there is no need for formality between us. There is something I would like to talk to you about, can you come over to the Manor?”

“ I need to clear something up first, can we leave it until this evening after work, there is something that I need to talk to you about too?”

“That’s excellent and of course you must join me for dinner, I’ll get Marshall to arrange things. Have you any particular likes or dislikes?”

“Just whatever you have already planned, I’m not too fussy, thank you.”I’ll be there about 7:00.” I ended the call, intrigued as to what Sir Charles wanted with me.

I left Angie in charge and went to see Sally again. As she was nursing her sleeping newborn who she didn’t want to disturb,I made myself useful sorting out coffee and biscuits, before settling down next to them. At first she was very wary as to why I was there but she soon relaxed when I told her that although James was extremely disappointed in what she had done, she would have no problems from him provided that she told her story to the police and that there was no more that she was holding back. In her post-natal emotional state I didn’t want to tell her that, as she had helped recruit Liz into Ridgeley’s clutches that the police may consider her to be part of the conspiracy.

“ There’s nothing more to tell, honestly, I have been interviewed by the police and given a statement of everything I know about what was going on. I don’t know what more I can say to them.”

“What do you know about dealings between Ridgeley and Hargreaves, is there anything to tell there?”

“Alistair only told me what I needed to know about getting information, I had no idea what he was doing with it. Other than the fact that he and Hargreaves constantly seemed to be phoning each other, and Alistair always went to another room to take the calls to make sure that he was not overheard, I don’t know anything more.”

I realised that I was not going to get anything to add to the story and was on the point of leaving, when the baby woke up and there was a lot of wailing and crying.

“Sorry about this, but I better deal with her first, do you mind hanging on for a while, there is something I want to talk to you about.?”

Sally took her baby next door where all the cleaning and care stuff was, and after she had sorted things out, she brought her over for me to hold.

“She’s gorgeous Sally, you must be so pleased. If you don’t mind me asking is everything ok between you and Harry now?”

“Yes, we had a long talk, and he has forgiven me, realising that I had been trapped by Alistair. We’re putting all that behind us now, as far as anyone else is concerned our baby is Harry’s and that is what it says on the birth certificate, and he is happy to raise her as his own. Ridgeley will have nothing to do with her.”

I hope that is the case but don’t be surprised if it ever comes back to bite you. Have you decided on a name yet?”

“My grandmother was called Jayne, and that is what it shall be, but we will be spelling it your way as we have a lot to thank you for. You must come to the christening, it’s two weeks on Sunday, we will be delighted for you to be there.”

“Thank you, I’ll be honoured to be there. On the other matter, you should go to the station in the morning and tell the police about all the phone calls, it may not help much but could be important. I will look after Jane for you, you need to get that all cleared so you can put it behind you.”

“I’ll give them a call to arrange it, is first thing ok?”

“There’s something else that you need to know. I am a reporter and it is me who broke the story about Ridgeley and Hargreaves.I was brought to find who was leaking information to Acumen but it opened a much bigger can of worms. I’ve already told them all at Cartwright’s and thought that you should know too.”

“Somehow I thought that was the case, you did a super job. Will my involvement be part of your story?”

”It will probably come out when the case goes to court, but I’ll not mention it for the moment.” She breathed a deep sigh of relief although she new that it only a matter of time, before her role became public.

“I’m leaving Cartwright’s tomorrow, to go back to The Post and Angie will be taking over your old job initially on a trial basis.”

“Good for her, I did suggest that to James before, but he thought that she was too young.”

“She’ll be ok, you left everything well organised, and it was easy for me to catch up on things, she is bright and has a sensible head on her shoulders. She will soon settle comfortably into the new role. Anyway I better be going, I have things I have to to do, see you in the morning.” I said, carefully passing young Jane back to her.

Back in the office, the huddle of the staff broke up and the room went silent when I entered.

“I suppose you are responsible for this too?” Maggie snapped at me, and I just looked back in astonishment.

“What on earth are you on about, I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to have done.”

“You’d better go and see Mr Cartwright then. You said this morning that nobody here was involved in all this scandal.”

“ What am I supposed to have done James, I’ve had a less frosty welcome at the snow-dome.”

“While you were out the police were here and they have taken John Chisholm away for questioning, it seems that he may have been involved in the scandal too. They searched Ridgeley’s phone and found records of numerous calls to John, which caused them to check his bank accounts and they found a lot of credits to him from Acumen. What do I do now, he knows too much about my business?”

“If you have been doing nothing wrong, why worry?”

“You know how it is is business, tax loopholes and creative accounting - nothing illegal but actions that would raise eyebrows, sharp contract practice - lots of borderline or even false claims for extras but the construction industry is full of that and the barrack-room lawyers would have a field day. A lot of it could be embarrassing.”

“James for the moment, this is between you and me, not for the paper, but if he starts telling tales, I won’t be able to bury it. Now that the story is out and other newspapers are interested, if I held back it would just be someone else who breaks the story. Another thing, as I said earlier, future stories in The Post will carry my byline, you better be prepared for irate telephone calls from Joe Riley.”

“ I can deal with him, I know too much about some of the things he has manipulated to get where he is. He might huff and puff a bit, but he can’t really do anything to either me or you.”

“When we get the corruption affair sorted I would be interested to hear more about Joe Riley and any shady matters he has been involved with, but that is for another day, I have enough on my hands at the moment. I suggest that for now, just assume that Chisholm has done nothing wrong, if and when the police release him, let him get on with his job but keep a close eye on him. It may be worth preparing in case he is charged with anything though. As I said before, I don’t think Maggie is a safe long -term bet, unless you disagree it may be worth getting Carl to keep a closer eye on the accounts. He may be a bit of a dull plodder, but that’s what you want in your accountant.”

“ Sounds sensible, I’ll play it by ear, but if Chisholm puts one foot wrong, he’ll be out the door sharpish.”

“Before I Forget, I know I said that I would pop in daily to check that Angie has no problems, but I will be in late tomorrow, I am babysitting for Sally while she goes to add to her statement to the police.”

“ A woman’s work is never done, as you are learning Jane.”

“ By the way, I gave Charles Bolton a call and he has invited me over to discuss something and have dinner with him tonight.”

“You’re one up on me then, all our meetings have been formal business, no invites to dinner at the manor for me.”

On my way out I surreptitiously gave the universal thumb and little-finger ‘give me a call’ sign to Carl without anyone else noticing, and 10 minutes later he came back to me.’

“Thanks Carl, there is something I need to talk to you about, can you meet me before work in the morning, there is something I need to ask you to do. This is between you and me, please don’t mention it to anyone.”

I rushed home, I didn’t really have enough time to get myself ready for my visit to Bolton Manor and was glad that Jenny was home early and agreed to help me.

“It all sounds very sophisticated, dinner with a baron at The Manor, what’s the dress code?”

“ I don’t think it’s anything formal, it’s just the two of us as far as I know.”

“ OK, go and get cleaned up and I’ll find something suitable, classy but not overdressed.”

While I quickly showered and freshened up, and put on my makeup she sorted out a choice of outfits for me to wear, a mixture from my own wardrobe and hers.

“You can’t really go wrong with a ‘Little black Dress’, I’ve picked out one of mine, with its boat neckline and half-sleeves, it’s dressy enough to make you look and feel sophisticated., but the pale blue piping on the collar, cuffs and belt just take the edge off the formality, It should suit however anyone else there is dressed. How, about your hair? If you want I can do it like Susie did for the dinner dance, putting the false chignon in at the back. Just like the dress it will cover cover a wide range of social standards.”

“ You know best Jen, whatever you think works”

Jenny worked her magic with my hair and makeup and I was soon ready to go.

“You look so sophisticated and absolutely gorgeous Jane, can I take some photos for Mum, I’m sure she will like to see them when she finds out that you’ve been for dinner with a Lord at his country estate?” With a promise that the photos would just be for Mum and not passed around to her friends, I spend a few minutes posing for her while she snapped away, before rushing off.

I still hadn’t got used to driving in heels, so when I pulled up in front of the manor, I quickly changed from my casual flats just in time before Marshall approached, opened the car door and offered me his hand to help me out. Old fashioned chivalry was still alive at Bolton Manor.

“Good evening Miss Harrison, pleased to see you again. Please follow me to the drawing room where Sir Charles is waiting for you, while I prepare to serve dinner.”

Charles had dressed up a little, not too much, but at least he was out of his tweeds and brogues into a formal business suit, dress shirt and tie, and not accompanied this time by his dogs, which I assumed had been relegated to less formal parts of the house.

“Glad you could come my dear, and if I may so so, looking absolutely delightful. It’s a shame that your appearance is wasted on an old curmudgeon like me. Dinner will be a few minutes, what do you fancy as an aperitif, a small glass of sherry, wine, or something stronger?”

“ A dry sherry would be fine, thank you.”

“Before we go in for dinner and spoil it with business talk, I’d like a few minutes first if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk about this thing in the paper to do with corruption and that Ridgeley character. The new development on my estate was mentioned and I am worried that somehow I will be drawn into the scandal. Working with Cartwright you must have an idea of what is going on. Do you think any of it will reflect back on me, I had no idea about any of this?”

“Why ask me to come and discuss this, surely you’ve known James a lot longer, would it not have been better to ask him?”

“I’m now not too sure that I can trust him, I don’t know if he is involved in any of this mess, you seem sensible and honest and I think I can trust you. Besides I’m sure that you will be a lot more agreeable as a dinner companion.”

“You’ll have learn to trust him again if you are going to have a long-term investment in the development of The Bolton Centre, and at present he is the one who has passed on information to the police, he wouldn’t have done that if he was involved, would he? I’m fairly certain that there has been no mention of any wrongdoing on your part, I don’t see anything for you to worry about coming out in The Post “

“What makes you so sure?”

“Actually that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Before you say any more I need to tell you that I am not who I seem to be, working as PA to James Cartwright was just a front for my investigations, I am really a reporter for The Post, in fact the reporter that broke the story leading to the police investigations.”

“Well I’ll be damned.” He almost choked on his sherry before breaking into a big beaming smile. “When I met you I realised that you were sharp, but that really takes the biscuit. I know that I said we wouldn’t need to talk about business over dinner, but you really must tell me more, I’m fascinated to hear all about it.”

I didn’t know what to expect for the meal, it was either going to be high-quality cordon-bleu , or good old fashioned wholesome food. I was glad to hear that it was to be good old-fashioned and hearty fare, I was not a lover of overpriced artistic offerings served in many restaurants that thought they were a cut above the common herd, which left you after a very expensive meal still feeling hungry.

“I’ve a suggestion Jane, Marshall has raided the wine cellar and dug out some excellent vintages that will really go with the food the housekeeper has prepared, I would love you to join me in enjoying them, but realise that you are driving your car. If you wish there are plenty spare bedrooms for you to stay so you don’t have to limit the wine to drive home safely.”

Seeing the look of panic on my face he quickly continued. “Have no fear, I have no dishonourable intentions towards you, you are perfectly safe, I am just offering you a chance to enjoy the evening more. Besides I really want to hear more of your story. To be honest with you, when I was younger I had a bit of a reputation as a philanderer, but those days are long-gone now, since Cressida, my wife, died I am happy on my own, nobody else could really come up to her qualities.” I noticed a tear forming in his eye at the mention of her and the wistful look on his face, I felt reassured enough that he was genuine and that it would be safe to spend the night here, and decided to join him in the wine.

Marshall soon called us in for dinner and led us into the large oak-panelled dining room where the evening sun’s rays were streaming through a multi-coloured leaded-light window playing rainbow patterns on an enormous table in the centre, surrounded by 18 chairs, obviously appropriate for large family gatherings or special dinner parties. I was pleased to see that the only two places set out were together at one end of it, I initially had a vision of us sat at each end of it having a conversation at a distance.

Our first course was already set on the table for us, a delicious cream of asparagus soup, topped with asparagus tips , served with fresh out of the oven wholemeal soda bread slices, accompanied by a bottle of white wine, Montrachet Grand Cru Côtes de Beaune, which even I knew cost more than I would spend on wine in a couple of months.

Whilst we were drinking the soup, politeness meant that the conversation was limited, but the minute we had finished, his eyes lit up with excitement like a child at Christmas.

“Right Jane while Marshall is clearing this away and getting the next course ready you must tell me all about yourself and how you became involved in all this.”

I quickly ran through my early life, or at least the female version of it, before starting on details of my investigation, Apart from the occasional “Jolly good show,”, ”’Well done,”, and “Good for you.” he sat enthralled by the story as I brought him right up to date.

“ I’m so glad that James and you talked me out of dealing with that Ridgeley character, I never liked him, too smarmy by half, like an angler playing with a trout before hooking and landing it., and from what you have just said I’m sure his offer would not have turned out as advantageous to me as he suggested.”

That conversation was brought to a halt by Marshall carrying in the next course, a serving of venison shank casserole dressed with pears and parsnips, which looked and smelled delicious, matched with a bottle of Chateau Petrus Bordeaux. I had no idea of how extensive his wine cellar was, but it was obvious that it was all high quality. It was easier to have a conversation with this course than the earlier soup and I asked him to tell me his family history and how they came to their titles property and land. This was obviously one of his favourite subjects and all through the rest of the course he chatted away to me.

“Going back to earlier times the family were always wealthy landowners in this area, mainly due to picking the right side to be on in the Wars of the Roses and the Civil War, but we really came to prominence in the early 1800s. Seven generation back one of my forebears Henry Bolton captained one of the ships at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805, his heroics reached the ears of the King and he was created the first Baron Bolton. Ten years later his son Arthur, distinguished himself as a colonel of one of the Hussar regiments at the Battle of Waterloo, and when the Price Regent was crowned as George IV, in his coronation honours list Arthur was upgraded to an Earl. The family fortunes waxed and waned for about a hundred years, until my grandfather, also called Charles, was involved in a major society scandal in the 1920s and the title of Earl was taken from him, but we are still allowed to call our line ‘Baron Bolton of Edenbury’.

“That’s a fascinating story, have you ever recorded it all in the family archives, or anything like that?”

“There’s a big mass of papers in the library, some of them going back to the Wars of the Roses in the 1400s. I keep meaning to get an archivist in to go through it all, but never seem to get around to it. I would like to get it done because my son and heir has absolutely no interest in where the family fortunes came from, all he wants to do is spend it all. The Honourable William, to give him his title, although he is anything but honourable, is only interested in a life of debauchery, drink, drugs, gambling and womanising. In my time I thought that I was living the high life, but he makes me feel like I lived the life of a monk. My daughter, The Honourable Elizabeth, is much more sensible, although she has an artistic streak and is quite bohemian, if that is still a word in use. If the rules that apply now were in place at the time they were born, she would be my heir, inheriting the title and the property, but at the time younger males took precedence over their older sisters. I would have a lot more faith in her to carry on the family fortunes that William.”

While finishing the final light dessert course of Pear Belle Helène and a glass of Madeira, I gave some thought to what he had just told me about his family, and when we retired to the Drawing Room with a decanter of port, I raised it with him again and asked a few more questions about the early family history.

“Although you are not tied in to the scandal, you are involved in the development of The Bolton Centre. If you will let me, it will be a nice side story to tell your family history, particularly in the lively light-hearted way that you told it to me tonight. Would you be interested in that?”

“Actually I would really like that, and am happy for you to go ahead. However I have an even better suggestion, would you be interested, and have the time, in really going through the archives and producing a proper document, a real book, in much more detail. As a reporter you are probably a frustrated writer and think that you have a book in you waiting to be written, this is an opportunity for you.”

“Let’s not make hasty decisions this evening Charles, we have both been a bit heavy on the wine, let’s sleep on it and talk again in the morning. If you don’t mind, I had an early start this morning, can you please get Marshall to show me to my room.”

While we had been enjoying our meal, Mrs Hutchinson the housekeeper had been busy and my room was all prepared with fresh bed linen, a vase of freshly-cutroses on the dresser and a full-length silk and lace nightdress neatly laid out on the bed for me. It was her that led me to the room rather than Marshall who was tidying up downstairs.

“ I hope that nightdress is fine for you, it’s one of Miss Elizabeth’s, but you look about the same size.”

“It looks gorgeous and very expensive, are you sure that she won’t mind?”

“She has so many she wouldn’t even notice it was missing. If you are comfortable in it, you may as well keep it and take it with you. I’ve also left out some beauty products, cleanser, moisturiser and cotton wool pads, please feel free to use them and take them home too. Goodnight then Miss, I’ll see you at breakfast in the morning.”

The drink was beginning to cloud my head, so I quickly undressed, cleaned off all my makeup and put on the silk nightdress, enchanted by its softness and the way it draped over the contours my body. Any other time I think I would have enjoyed the pleasure of wearing it, but I was just too tired, climbed into bed and was soon out like a light.

Surprisingly I woke up quite refreshed, decided it would not be the done thing to go down for breakfast in the nightdress and matching gown, as I would do at home, and got myself properly dressed made up and with my hair and hairpiece back in place. Knowing that it would all be too much of a rush I made a quick call to Carl deferring our meeting for an hour later before going downstairs to find that breakfast was being held in the kitchen rather than the formal dining room, obviously a much more casual affair. “Good morning Jane, I trust you slept well.” asked Charles looking just as fresh and bright as I did. “There’s fruit juice in the jug, coffee in the pot and toast is on its way. Just tell Mrs H what you would like, we have almost everything you could wish for.”

I was still full from the heavy meal the previous night, so just ordered scrambled egg to go with the toast and coffee.

“I’ve been thinking while waiting for you to come down about what we were saying regarding recording the family history and I’m even more convinced that it is a good idea. Have a word with your editor about a feature in the paper, but we’ll treat the full family history as something between just you and my family, you can claim authorship rights but it would be nice if I was given a credit of some sort and perhaps an ex-gratia payment too. Have a think about it and let me know.

“Thanks Charles, but there are specialists in ghost writing biographies and autobiographies, wouldn’t you be better off with one of them.?”

“Possibly, but I think that I can trust you to find out all the skeletons in the cupboard and use them in the best light. As I said, please think about it.”

After breakfast, after saying my thanks to Marshall and Mrs H, I said goodbye to Charles, thanking him for a wonderful meal and a delightful evening and made my way back home. to get changed to meet with Carl and go into work at The Post.

Later I was sitting in the same cafe where I had first met Darren as Jane, only this time I was well away from the window, in a quiet corner cubicle, when Carl came in looked around and finally saw me half hidden away from prying eyes.

“ Hi Jane, sorry I’ve kept you waiting, there was stuff I had to clear before I left home. What is this about?”

“Carl, I’m taking a big risk here, can I really trust you?”

“You know me, the boring plodding accountant, what have you got to worry about with me?Anything we talk about is just between us.”

“As you know, John Chisholm is being questioned by the police about his possible involvement with Hargreaves and Ridgeley. Did you see the blood drain from his face when I told everyone I was an undercover reporter, I think there is a lot more going on. My access to the accounts files was blocked by him, but I think it is more than just commercial confidentiality. You know what is going on a lot better than I do or would understand if I looked myself. Be honest, have you noticed anything unusual going on in the company finances.”

“ Now you mention it ,a few times I have queried with John large invoices from construction companies working on some of our developments, which seemed grossly excessive. He asked Maggie to check them out and they both assured me that it was all above board and told me to just sign them off and pay them. I still felt uncomfortable with the invoices, but just did as I had been told.”

“Can you dig out the ones you recall. And send me copies of the invoices, the associated contracts, and any reports from Bill Miller and Darren relating to progress on the sites. You can judge better than I can what is relevant. Can you access the files without any record being listed of you having viewed and copied them?”

“I can delete all the front line search records, enough that it is not obvious, but any computer expert would be able to dig it all up again.”

“Seriously it sounds like Chisholm and possibly even Maggie have been paying false inflated invoices and most likely getting some sort of kick-back for their cooperation, Unless you are involved too it would appear that they have been treating you like a trusting fool and pulling the wool over your eyes as well as robbing the company.”

“ I assure you that I am not involved in anything shady, particularly with those two, and I am no fool either. Leave it with me and I’ll call you when I have information for you.”

Just as I was leaving the café, I took a call from Sally. “ Sorry to mess you about but the police officer I was liaising with is out at a crime scene and will be out all day, can we leave it until tomorrow.

“ Not a problem Sally, that’s fine with me, actually it suits me as there is something I have to deal with at The Post.”

When I finally arrived back at the office, I discussed the proposal for a feature on the Bolton Estate and family with Mike and he liked the idea as a filler human-interest sideline to the story of the corruption and told me to get on with it.

The rest of the day I waded through all the tip-offs we had received and passed on to the police from other construction companies about how they had been treated by Ridgeley and Acumen, and even a couple claiming that Hargreaves had been fishing for bribes to ensure that they were awarded contracts. At the end of the day, my brain was so muddled with all the claims and counter claims that I was glad to leave for home.

Back at the flat, I was glad to get my clothes stripped off, it had been a warm sticky day and I really needed a refreshing shower. Afterwards I just put on a robe and sat to dry and style my hair. I remembered what Susie had said when she first gave me my breasts, about wearing a bra until I felt comfortable about going without. Although I was conscious of my breasts jiggling under the robe, I thought that this was no different to what all other women experienced and decided that when I dressed I would go without.

I put on a light cotton sleeveless strappy top and my summer skirt and started tidying things up. My breasts seemed to have a life of their own and every time I moved I could feel them rubbing against the top, but after weeks of living with the snugness and tightness of bra straps it felt good. Jenny was soon home and went in for a shower and to get changed. When she came out she was dressed a bit like me.

“ You know what Jane, I’ve always kept on my bra since you’ve been living with me although there have been times when I’ve just wanted to rip it off, but now that you seem comfortable with not bothering to wearing one, I feel free do do the same. It’s better to wear one when you are at work but if the mood takes you at home just unleash your assets. Obviously, as you’ve probably already found, your boobs will jiggle about a lot more, but you’ll soon get used to it.”

She suddenly started giggling and looking at me. “You know what, I never thought that I would be having a conversation with you about whether or not it was best to wear a bra or just swing free, it’s good to have a sister that I can talk to about things like that with. It’s a shame that it will all soon be over.”

“ It will be a while yet, I’ll be working as Jane at The Post until we run out of things to tell on the corruption story, Other than Mike Bradley, my editor, nobody knows me as anything other than Jane, everyone seems to accept me as I am and Jack seems to have been forgotten, I’ve only heard anyone mention him once. Until there is no more to report on the case, Jane will be around, which should be a few more weeks yet.”

“ Ok Sis, glad to hear it, I am getting used to you being here. It’s a nice evening lets give the girls a call and meet up at the Nags Head, the beer garden is nice and colourful at this time of the year. I’ll tell them it’s all just casual, so there is no need to change. You are fine as you are, don’t bother with too much makeup, just a bit of eyeliner, mascara and Lippy, your skin is still quite good and there is no need for anything more.”

“ What about my bra?”

“ Don’t bother, I told you it’s to be casual, let your girls have a bit of freedom for a change.”

It was still early and we were first to arrive, although the garden was beginning to fill up.

“I’ll find somewhere for us all to sit, you go to the bar and order the drinks. Just get a couple of bottles of white wine, it’s cheaper by the bottle, and with five of us one bottle will not be enough.”

As I approached the bar, the barman broke off a conversation with one of the other customers and quickly came up to serve me, I couldn’t help noticing that his eyes were jumping between my face and my boobs, Susie had been right, about men’s preferences, and I think that it was even more obvious now that I wasn’t wearing a bra.

A couple of bottles of Sauvignon Blanc and five glasses please, have you any chilled.”

“There’s only one in the cooler, I’ll bring the other one over in a few minutes. There’s some more of your friends just coming in now, go back to your table and I’ll bring the drink over for you.”

“ Oh, you remember us all then?”

“The others come here occasionally but when you were last here you made such an impression that the regulars keep asking when you are coming back.”

Flashing him a sweet smile I swivelled round my heels , causing my boobs to really bounce and strutted my way back to the garden to meet the girls.

“ What’s the big grin for Jane?” Susie asked after we had all settled down, you’ve got a face like the cat that’s got the cream.”

“ Tony, the barman could hardly take his eyes off my boobs, so I just played up a bit to him, and had a bit of fun.”

“ What do you expect, you brazen hussy, Jenny told us all to go braless tonight, so when he comes over, he won’t know where to put his eyes.”

Susie was right, when he came over with the tray of drinks and saw us all, his hands were shaking as he put down the tray. His eyes were darting between us all as we reached over for the glasses deliberately giving a flash of cleavage as we did so, and he was looking embarrassed.

“ Thank you so much for bringing the drinks over, hopefully you’ll be back soon with the other bottle.” I looked him the eye and gave a big smile.

As he went back to the bar, we all started to giggle, I felt a bit sorry for the poor man, we had embarrassed him.

“You are turning into a right little flirt Jane, we’ve created a monster. Now tell us all about this story you have written in the paper.”

“ You know almost as much as I do about what the police are doing, they play their cards very close to their chests.”

“ As long as they don’t play too close to your chest when you are looking like that.” Linda interrupted, producing long laughs from all of us, causing other customers to look over to see what the noise was.

“ As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” I jumped back in, “ but there is still a lot more to come. I’ve now left Cartwright’s and have gone back to work at The Post.”

“Oh, does that mean that you won’t be coming out with us again?”

“Anything but, I’ve got my old job back, in fact a much better one, but until the investigations and court case are over, I’ll be continuing to work, and live, as Jane, so you will see me around for a lot longer.”

“Yay, .” said Linda and Babs in unison, Linda adding “ We’d be sorry to see you go, we’d miss you. If anything we all were drifting apart a bit, but sorting you out has given us common ground again. Raise your glasses to Jane girls.”

“To Jane and continued friendship.” Susie made a toast which they all joined in with.

“When Tom brought over the second bottle the first was already gone. “ Put another one in the cooler for us please Tom. Sorry if we were embarrassing you earlier, we were just having a bit of fun, have a drink yourself too, we’ll settle up later.”

“Leave the poor lad alone Jane, you keep telling us that you are not interested, so don’t keep them going, it is easy to turn on the girly charm though, isn’t it?” Linda gave me a gentle nudge with her hand.

That started a lot of telling of stories about their various experiences leading boys on to get their own way, and the games they played to get boys into their beds. When men get together if talk gets off football or cars or their jobs onto relationships, it can get a bit sordid or childish, but with the girls it came across as harmless fun and we all had a good laugh at some of the tales. However any illusions I had about the shy gentle nature of women were quickly shattered, they could be just as saucy as the men, probably even more so, but with them it was just an excuse for a fun night, rather than anything nasty. Jenny kept looking over to me to see if I was getting embarrassed, but by now I was used to the open chatter they had about all sorts of intimate subjects and I just laughed along with the rest of them.

Tom came back with our third bottle, and by now the wine was taking effect their tongues had loosened a bit and the stories were getting more and more lurid, and Tom caught the end of one of Linda’s tales.

“ Sorry about that, you weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“You’re ok, you didn’t mean any harm, enjoy your wine girls. I’m big enough to take it”

“Babs gave him a quicklook up and down and replied “ I’ll bet you are darling.” which had all of us, including Tom, burst out laughing. The wine was definitely loosening their tongues , and probably their morals too.

As we got home and were getting ready for bed, Jenny sat down next to me. “That got a bit near the knuckle tonight, were you comfortable with all that talk.”

“The whole point of me going out with you all for the last few weeks has been to get me to learn how to act and react in situations and to be comfortable in the company of women and understand how you all relate to each other. You’ve all done such a good job, I probably think more like a woman than a man now when I am out with you all. You all make me feel like just another one of the girls, so you should all just act as you would if I was another girl, and there is no need to make any allowances for me. I’m getting used to it all, in fact most of the time I am just getting on with things and how I am dressed and acting is just me behaving naturally, I am not even thinking anymore about what I should be doing.”

To be continued

In the morning I put-on a light summer dress and as promised went round to Sally’s to babysit baby Jane. Sally was all ready to head off to talk to the police and just had time to give me a quick run down of where everything was, and Jane’s feeding times, although she expected to be back before that was needed. It was a quiet morning, Jane slept most of it, and even when she was awake she just lay there gurgling.

Later on I picked her up, cradled her in my arms and held her close. I then felt her mouth pushing against my breast, obviously it was time for her feed and Sally had still not returned. Sally had left a bottle of expressed milk on the counter which I warmed up a little before letting Jane enjoy her drink. As I held her in my arms, I felt a strange sensation and dampness in my chest, where her head had been nestling

I quickly laid her in her cot and dropped the top of my dress down to my waist and took off my bra to find a trickle of what looked like milk seeping out from under my breast forms. I couldn’t believe this was happening, men do not have breasts and do not produce milk, or so I thought. I was getting worried, but would have to leave it until I got home and could remove the forms. Sally had a baby-bag and I had a rummage around in it to find a pack of breast pads intended to deal with leaks for nursing mothers. I put one in each bra cup before putting it back on and hoped that they would be enough to soak up any discharge and prevent stains showing through the thin fabric of my dress.

Sally was soon home and the police were happy with the new information, it was one more nail in the coffin for Ridgeley and Hargreaves. I left her after a bit of polite small talk about Jane, promised to come back again if her and Harry wanted a ‘date-night’ out, and hurried home, via a pharmacy, to get some breast pads, to try to find out what was happening to me.

When I removed the forms there was a lot of puffiness of the flesh around my nipples, which were erect and a bit swollen, they had indeed been leaking milk, particularly the one where I had been holding Jane. Obviously I realised that none of this was normal and decided that I needed to urgently see our doctor. Before I phoned to arrange an appointment, I sat at my computer and googled around the sites for a while and found that men can express milk spontaneously when nursing young babies, it is known as Galactorrhea and is usually only a short term response. It is sometimes associated with gynaecomastia, the occasional swelling of a boys breasts during puberty, but for someone my age, it should not be happening.

I checked my dress for any stains from the milk, before putting it back on, This time I did not fix the forms, just inserting them in the bra cups, with the absorbent pads beneath to catch any leaks, as I wanted to show Jenny later. I was so concerned about what had found that I almost forgot that I had promised to look in on Angie at Cartwright’s. As it happened I needn’t have rushed back into check on her, she had everything under control. Most of the time I was there I chatting with the other women, who now seemed happy to talk to me again, mainly about young Jane, what she looked like and whether my baby-sitting was a sign that I was getting a bit broody, to which I insisted that I definitely wasn’t, dealing with swollen breasts and lactation was more than enough to worry about.

I couldn’t wait for Jenny to get home to talk through my problems with her.

“I’ve had a strange experience today and am worried that there is something seriously wrong with me, but it’s so embarrassing.”

“After all the stuff the girls were saying last night, I would have thought that there was nothing left for you to be coy about.”

“The problem is that I think that I’m developing breasts, and today, when I was bottle-feeding Jane, I noticed that I was producing milk, only a little weep but it has got me worried.”

“I think that I have read about something like that, so I don’t think you are unique, strip off and let’s have a look.”

“You’re right, it looks just like I did when I started developing. That’s more than just a little flabby puffiness, you look like you are starting to grow beasts. I think you need to go and get a doctor’s examination.”

“I’ve already arranged one for tomorrow morning. I hope you don’t mind but I made the appointment in your name, I thought it would be less embarrassing for me with the receptionists and other patients.”

“That sounds sensible I can just imagine their faces if they called out your name and you went in looking as you do. Do you want me to come with you?”

“Thanks, I’d like that if you can manage it, you being with me will help to keep me calm.”

The following morning we sat in the waiting area at the doctors’ surgery until the receptionist called out “Miss Jennifer Carter, please go in now, consulting room #2.” I was surprised, I don’t know why as it is quite common now, to see an attractive young women on the other side of the desk. I was glad to see a woman, I would feel much more comfortable being examined by her, and discussing my problems with her than I would have been with a man

“Hello Jenny, I haven’t seen you for a while, what can I do for you today?”

“Well Dr. Stewart, It’s not really about me, it’s about my brother.”

“Get him to come in to see me, you know the rules about patient confidentiality. I can’t really discuss him with you.”

“It’s all right, actually this is my brother Jack.” She said pointing at me.

“If this is about gender dysphoria , it is not really my field, I’ll have to refer you to someone else.” She said without any noticeable look of shock, horror, or embarrassment.

“No doctor, it’s not that, what you see is a disguise for something I have been working on.” I told her my story, leaving out the names of those under investigation. “But that is not really why I needed to see you. I think that I am starting to develop breasts, and yesterday, when I was cuddling and bottle-feeding a new baby, I weeped a little bit of milk from my nipples.” That did cause raised eyebrows and a questioning frown.

“Take off your top and let me have a look around. Are you ok with Jenny staying in the room, or would you prefer her to go?”

“She’s already seen me, so it’s not a problem, in fact I think that I would prefer her to stay.”

Dr. Stewart closely examined me and plodded the fleshy tissue, and took several blood samples before telling me to get dressed again.

“Right Mr Carter, oh that sounds silly looking as you do, what name are you going by while you are living as a woman?”

“Jane Harrison, that was my mother’s family name.”

“Ok Jane, I think that you are probably right, but I don’t know why. Breast development in males sometimes happens but usually in early teens when they are going through puberty, at your age it is very rare. As regards the milk. I’ve seen this before in new fathers who have been helping their wives by sharing night feeds, that is not too much of a problem and will probably go away by itself. I’ll send off your samples for analysis and we’ll see what shows up, make an appointment for three days time. I will list you as a temporary visitor in the name of Jane Harrison to save any awkwardness. Don’t worry too much about all this, I’m sure that we can sort it all out, and that there is nothing too serious going on.”

After popping in to see Angie again I headed off to The Post to catch up on what was now my full-time job again, and updated the corruption story with what was already in the public domain or that I could reveal without it being obvious where the information came from.

After work I went to see Sally again, and found her looking extremely tired.

“You’ve obviously not recovered fully from the birth, and you’ve probably had a busy day, go and have a lie down, I’ll look after Jane for you until Tom gets home.”

While I was cuddling Jane she snuggled into my breast looking for a feed. Unsure whether it would work or not, I slipped the top my dress down took out the form and held her to my nipple and felt her suckling. Obviously I was producing only a trickle, not nearly enough for a decent feed but it seemed to keep her content, and I swapped over to the other breast to try and squeeze a bit more for her. I wiped her mouth and my nipples to dry things off before getting dressed again just before Tom came through the door.

“Hi Jane, she seems to have taken to you, she never seems that settled with me.”

“Sally’s having a lie down she looked shattered when I came in and I made her go to have a rest, so we didn’t really have a chance to chat. Well I’d better be off, you’re on duty now, and Jane seems settled and content, so let Sally rest until she wakes up herself.”

I had another restless night, the endless possibilities of what was going on in the accounts department preying on my mind, as well as worries about my medical problems. There had been no further revelations from Mike Bradley’s source at police headquarters, apparently Hargreaves and Ridgeley were being totally uncooperative and the investigation team were having to do it all the hard way, ploughing through endless streams of phone records, emails, bank accounts, including half-buried ones, meetings that were on the records, and it was a long hard slog, not something that would quickly fall into place.

The following morning, I received a text from Carl asking for an urgent meeting and arranged to meet him in the café again. I could hardly believe it when he finally arrived and sat down opposite me. He was wearing a women’s skirt suit, blouse, wedge heels, a long dark wig and huge tinted glasses, trying to be in disguise, but he would have been less noticeable in his ordinary clothes. I didn’t recognise him at first and wondered who the strange woman was who had just sat at my table until she lifted her sunglasses and I suddenly realised who it was.

“What on earth are you doing Carl, you couldn’t be more memorable than if you came in naked.” I whispered to him.

“I might be very noticeable but nobody will recognise who I really am, there’s no way that I want to be seen as Carl talking to you. I’ve found something important for you,” He said as he handed me a memory card. “John Chisholm has been swindling the company of tens of thousands of pounds for years. I’m giving you this, it contains some records and some notes I’ve made, but I do not want them traceable back to me. You go through them yourself to check what I am suggesting, tell James Cartwright and get him to ask me to investigate what you have as if I know nothing about this.That way it is not linked back to me if I am wrong.”

“What if he wants to ask Maggie instead of you?”

“ He won’t, you’ll agree once you have read what’s on the card. She may be involved too.”

“Ok, I’ll contact you if I need help understanding it all, I am not an accountant and will probably need some guidance. If I call you I’ll use the name Janet Taylor, she’s someone I knew at university. Thank you for your help Carl-a.” I smiled as I changed the name by adding the extra ‘a’ “If you don’t mind me saying, if you use that outfit a lot, or anything else like that, you need some serious lessons in presenting yourself as a woman, otherwise you will get into a lot of trouble, you really stand out as a man in a skirt. Despite what you say, if you ask your sister to help I think that you could pass as a woman, if you want to do that sort of thing.“

“I needed a disguise so that I wouldn’t be recognised, other than that I don’t really care.This was all that was in the house that I share with my sister that fits me, it’s not a common thing for me, honest.”

“Don’t worry, I can keep a secret, but I definitely trust you now, if you are messing me about, your cross-dressing disguise has given me some dirt on you that I can share.”

I watched him leave, hoping that he would get back home safely without being exposed, attacked, or arrested, before I left to go back to The Post to look at what was on the memory card he had given me.

Some hours later my mind was buzzing from the information he had provided. Carl had done a thorough job, he had gone all the way back to when Chisholm joined the company ten years ago. He had picked out that, virtually from day one, there were suspect invoices that he had signed off even though they bore no relation to the charges that were contractually due. I was astonished that the names of some of the companies on the list were a match for those that had complained about being subject to corruption from Ridgeley. It seemed a complicated web of deceit involving most of the major players in the construction industry in our area.

Whilst I would have preferred to get to the bottom this myself, it was beyond my understanding of the world of finance and contract law. At lunchtime I needed a break so went home had a shower, and dressed casually in leggings and a loose top before attacking the information again. Once it was a bit clearer in my mind, I phoned Mike to arrange to meet to get his opinion on what to do with some information I had found, without telling him what it was and how I had obtained it.

Most of the girls and women in the office, normally wore jeans, trousers or leggings, I was one of the few that usually dressed in a skirt, so nobody was surprised when I turned up casually dressed and made my way to Mike’s office.

“Mike, the corruption that we already knew about is only a small part of the story. Cartwright’s have been getting ripped off for years and it involves all of the major players in the construction industry in this area. I’m sure that if anyone digs deeper that they will find an awful lot more. I have copies on this memory card of extracts from Cartwright’s accounts, to back this up but is beyond my skills to fully understand it, What do you think we should do?”

“Take it and give it to the police, they have experts in the fraud squad who can deal with it a lot better than we can, they can access company account and personal bank account records that would be much more difficult for us to do. Besides, they are still not very happy with us for running the original story and this might help pour oil on troubled waters. Don’t forget to make a copy for us before you do, it could be useful for us to have, if anyone tries to bury this story.”

After leaving him, I went for a coffee to collect my thoughts before giving Cartwright's a call.

“James, I know that it is getting late in the day, but I need to talk to you, and it would be useful if you could get ACC Riley there at the same time, it will save me going through it all twice.”

James was glad to see me, but the reception from Joe Riley was very frosty, he obviously had not forgiven me for deceiving him at the start of all this.

“You had better not be wasting my time, you’ve caused us enough trouble already.” He snapped as I entered James’ office.

“Please let me speak Mr Riley. This is really a discussion for James, but I’m sure that it will be useful for you in investigating the widespread frauds going on in this town.”

I handed James two copies of the memory card with all the information on. “There’s one for each of you, but you James may not want to release the second one to the police, it could be embarrassing for your company. “

“Just get on with it Jane, you asked to get Joe to come here, I’m not going to freeze him out now.”

“Because of the reaction of John Chisholm when I came out as a reporter, I decided to look more closely at the way your accounts were managed. It appears that for many years he has been passing and paying grossly exaggerated invoices from contracting companies working on your developments, and robbing your company of hundreds of thousands of pounds, in some instances with the possible connivance of Maggie Stuart.”

I paused for a while as they digested what I had just said.

“If Mr Riley’s team check Chisholm’s bank accounts I’m sure that they will find some correlation with payments to him personally around the same dates. I don’t know the law about whether what has been done is a criminal case or just a civil offence and nothing to do with the police, but I am sure that it will at least encourage Chisholm to talk and tell you what he knows about Ridgeley. This may only be the tip of the iceberg, I suggest that you get Carl to bring in a specialist team of accountants to go through your records with a fine-tooth comb to find out exactly how much has been swindled from you. I assure you that for the moment The Post will not publish any of this because it is not directly relevant to our story about corruption at the council, but I must tell you that if, when you have had time to digest it all, you do not proceed with any actions, that we are prepared to do so.”

With that, I left them looking extremely confused, and walked through the office, giving Carl a quick thumbs up as I passed him.

In the morning Angie called me and asked me if I could go back to see James again, and a half-hour later I entered his office not knowing what to expect.It could be either glowing praise for discovering that he was being robbed, or a major dressing down for what he would see as hacking into their confidential files.At least I was treated with a warm welcome and a big friendly smile from Angie, which was a good sign.

“Jane, I have got a lot to thank you for.” James started, “I had a review of the information you passed to me, followed up with a detailed discussion with Carl and we are investigating how we can recover some of the money that was swindled from us, but I am not hopeful that we will see much of it again. Maggie is adamant that she has never received any backhanders from either Chisholm or from any of the contractors. She says that she never really scrutinised the invoices in question, but just had a quick overview of them with Chisholm who told her there was no reason to doubt them. I’ve given her a warning that if anything more comes to light, she can pack up and go, and with the contacts I have, she has got very little chance of getting another similar job in the industry. I’ve also told her that until she proves herself loyal to the company, that she is now answerable to Carl and has to work to his instructions on the fraud investigations.”

“I’m sorry that I have caused so much disruption to your business, but it shows that you are getting too remote from what your staff are doing. I suggest that you need a deputy who is more hands on, probably Darren, but if you think he is not ready yet, bring somebody else in.”

“You’re probably right, without changing any titles, I am have already decided to put more responsibility on his shoulders and see how he gets on. In a way, all this has made me think about whether it is time to step back and let someone else have all the pressure. When things settle down a bit and we know financially how we stand, be assured that a nice bonus will be coming your way.”

“I hope that you and your company are totally clean on all of this, I wouldn’t want to cause you to get caught up in it all.”

“As far as I am aware other than a bit of creative accounting to minimise tax, we have done nothing wrong, so have no worries on that front. Joe Riley is confident that your latest information is strong enough to be used to break down John Chisholm, and he is fairly sure that they will get him to tell more on the dealings of Hargreaves and Ridgeley. Things are beginning to look more positive“

The rest of the day was spent writing up new articles hinting that the web of corruption was now a lot greater than previously thought and that several more companies and individuals in the area were being investigated by the police. At this stage no names were mentioned as nothing was yet proven to the satisfaction of the police or our lawyers, but the principles of what had been going on were described in detail.

On the way home I called in at the at the doctors’ surgery for my appointment with Dr. Stewart regarding the results of my blood tests, and was soon sat down in front of her desk where she was studying her computer screen intently, with a puzzled look on her face.

“ What’s the problem doctor, have you found something.”

“ Yes we have Jane but I’m not sure what it all means. As you probably know all of us have in our systems lots of hormones which determine our gender and appearance. All males, as well as the predominant testosterone , also have a smaller portion of female hormones, and vice-versa. It seems that in your case there is not a lot of differences in the levels of the two. This explains to a degree why you are physically smaller and softer-featured than most men, and have so easily been able to convincingly change your appearance. If you were someone that wanted to transition we would prescribe drugs to block the production of testosterone and flood your body with oestrogen and progesterone, but it seems that somehow your body is managing to do this itself without medical intervention. To put it bluntly your body can’t make its mind up whether you are male or female. Why this is happening is beyond my expertise so I want to refer you to the hospital, to an endocrinologist, a specialist in hormone imbalances and their causes and correction.”

“ I’m shocked, are you saying that my body is changing sex?”

“No, not at all, you are a long way from that, but you may find that your breast development continues and your fat redistributes from your waist to your hips and backside, and if this continues, you may find it difficult to get an erection.”

“ What can we do to stop this?”

“Until you get to see the specialist, which will probably be a few weeks, it’s best to leave things as they are and see how it progresses. You obviously need time to take this all in, then if you need to talk please give me a call, or come in to see me again.”

I left the surgery totally bewildered and confused. Was I going to, for all intents and purposes, appear more and more feminine? How soon would any effects be noticeable? How did I feel about it.? After all, I had been dressing and acting as a woman for weeks, did I want to continue as Jane? Had something I had done, tucking myself and hiding my testicles triggered the low testosterone level? What was I going to do about it? I wandered the streets and walked around the lake in the park trying to get my head around it all for a couple of hours before going home.

“Where have you been Jane, I was beginning to get worried.” Jenny asked With a look of concern.

“ I’ve been to see Dr. Stewart again and needed to have a long think about what she has told me.”

“ And….., you can’t stop there, what has she found.?”

“It’s difficult, I don’t really understand it myself, but it appears that my body system is somewhere between male and female, and probably always has been, which is why I haven’t grown as much as other boys and am almost the same size as you and the other girls. She’s referring me to a specialist for further investigations.”

What’s going to happen to you, are your breasts going to keep growing?”

“I’m not sure, I think probably, but she said just wait and see, until I have been properly examined, she is a bit lost with it all.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure that they can sort you out, meanwhile you will just have to continue as you are, you seem to have adjusted to living as a woman anyway.”

“Apart from that, I need to stay as Jane until the corruption case comes to court, and Sir Charles has asked me to research his family history and record it all in a book, so I am committed to stays Jane for a while anyway.”

“It’s easy for me to say, but just continue as you are, you are accepted by everyone as Jane, you are attractive, you have a much better personality now, much more sociable, confident. and outgoing. What harm can it do to just go on as you have been doing, and see what happens.”

As I got ready for bed later I examined myself closely in my wardrobe full-length mirror. My breasts seemed to be still growing. Partly due to the effects of wearing the cincher to fit into my dress for the dinner-dance, and partly due, I now thought, to the effects of my hormones, my waist definitely seemed narrower and my hips and bum a lot fleshier. Overall, I was definitely getting a much curvier girlish figure. That night I slept fitfully, having dreams about waking up in the morning to find that somehow overnight my body had fully changed into a female’s, but when I woke up nothing had altered.

I decided to go with what my body decided and left my bra and forms off, my breasts although small were still obviously there. On the way to the office I stopped off to get some new smaller bras, just A-cup, but when I put one on it served to push up and emphasise what little tissue there was, and gave me enough of a bust to look natural. Instead of my normal light thin tops and blouses, I had put on a cotton scoop-neck gipsy top with frills around the neckline which made me look bigger than I actually was and hid the drastic overnight change from a B down to an A. Nobody seemed to notice, or were too polite to comment and by the end of the day, it just felt like I had always been this size. If I was developing breasts I would just have to learn to live with whatever size they ended up, like most women do.

To be continued

I had a busy day at the office, continuing to scour the records Carl had given me and following up with online investigations into the companies he had highlighted. Work had distracted me from thinking about my medical problems, and I was feeling a lot calmer and more confident again, so on the way home I called to see Caroline to update her on the corruption story.

“Hello Jane, lovely to see you again, Martin won’t be home for a while, come in and we can have a chat about your investigations.”

“That’s why I’m here, a lot of what has happened is down to that recording you made, it was what really broke the ice and allowed the story to be pieced together.”

She went off to the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a tray of home-made biscuits and pastries, and a big pot of tea before settling herself down to hear all the details.

“ I’ve been reading all your articles in The Post, you have done a brilliant job, you have really started to dig deep and the articles are so well written. I was glad to help, I had met Ridgeley and Hargreaves at previous Rotary do’s and never took to either of them, they were both too full of themselves, and too smooth by half, my instincts have been proved right.”

“ What hasn’t really featured much in the articles is that we think that there is much wider corruption going on in this town, more people on the take in the Planning Department, widespread fraud in many of the contracts for building developments and a lot of it is still to be uncovered. Please don’t repeat this but James Cartwright’s company has been getting ripped off for years by his accountant paying overpriced invoices and getting kick-backs for doing it.He has lost hundreds of thousands of pounds over the years.None of this is proven to the satisfaction of the police or prosecutors so we haven’t been able to publish it”

“Keep on with it, you are really shaking things up, but be careful you will be upsetting a lot of people who won’t be happy, and will be only too willing to get their revenge on you. How are you keeping anyway, it’s a while since we last had a chat, what have you been up to, anything exciting happened to you?”

Despite having put my medical situation to the back of my mind at work, with Caroline asking if anything had happened to me it now came flooding back along with a lot of tears and sobbing.”

“There, there, darling, come and cry on my shoulder and tell me what is worrying you, I have obviously hit a sore point with you.” Caroline took me in her arms in a consolation hug and held me until I had calmed down.

After I had got myself under control again, I decided to be open and honest with her. “ I have a medical problem and am really worried about what is happening to me.”

“It goes with the territory of being a women dear, we all have all sorts of medical problems, but most can be overcome or at least controlled nowadays.”

“That’s the big part of the problem, I am not really a woman.”

That brought on another flood of tears which gave Caroline time to think and change her look from confusion, to horror, to questioning, to sympathetic.

“What on earth do you mean, of course you are a woman, what makes you think otherwise.”

She sat silently and listened while I told her the story of being approached by Darren, the girls transforming me from Jack to Jane, how my life had changed so that Jane was now the new normal for me, and the doctor’s suggestion that my body systems were confused as to my sex.

“ Sorry to dump all this on you Caroline, but it’s been like a floodgate opening, once I started I just couldn’t stop, I just needed to tell someone and get it off my chest.”

“Right, just stop this nonsense and self-pity this instant, the Jane I’ve known is an attractive, confident, smart, and really nice girl, not the wimpy over-emotional person you have shown me today. If you are turning into a girl, so what, you have been living it for a while now, very successfully too, and that is now you. You may not change any more, and hopefully the doctors can sort you out, but what would be so bad if it turns the other way and you become more female than male. You are still you, you still have all your talent and knowledge, all your friends, and women nowadays can live a full and fulfilling life, unlike when I was younger and we were all destined for a life of domesticity.”

“Aren’t you shocked and disgusted at how I have been living and deceiving you all?”

“ My dear, when you get to my age, you have seen a lot of surprising, amazing, worrying, and tragic things in your life, shock and horror have been left behind and I now just accept things as they are. What’s the point of worrying about things that I can’t change and don’t really affect me? Now that you have told me everything, if you need to talk through your worries or need a shoulder to cry on, give me a call, I’ll be glad to see you, and that applies whether you come as Jane or Jack.”

Her no-nonsense, non-judgemental, attitude calmed me down and I realised that for the moment I just had to accept things as they were, nothing was going to change before I had further examinations by the specialist. I stayed with Caroline for a while, chatting about life in general, she was a chatterbox and a good listener and offered lots of sensible opinions on what was happening in the world and by the time Martin arrived home and I left, I was a lot more content, and relaxed again.

That only lasted a short time until I got back to the flat. When I walked in Jenny was sitting with her arm around the shoulders of Mum, who was sitting sobbing.

“What’s up?” I asked worried about what could have happened.

“Dad and Mum have had a major row, mainly about you. He saw mum looking at the photo of you all dressed up to go to dinner with Sir Charles and when he realised that it was you he blew his top. He accused her of encouraging you to dress as a girl all those times when we were younger, and her not telling him about what you were doing as he said he would have brought it all to an end before you got in too deeply. It all led to an opening of old wounds and arguments about other things and he has stormed off telling her that he needs to think about his future as he felt he could no longer have any relationship with you.”

“I’m sorry to have caused this for you Mum, would it help if I changed back into Jack and went to talk to him to explain what I have been doing? He should be proud of me for the way that I broke this story and exposed all the corruption.”

“ I don’t think that would help, you are only part of the problem, we haven’t been getting on very well for ages, but have kept it hidden from you and Jennifer, you have just been the trigger to bring up a lot of other things between us.”

“Stay the night here with us, you shouldn’t be alone, I’ll sleep out here on the couch, you have my room. Besides if he is still angry and returns home nasty words might turn into physical abuse. He does have a temper on him sometimes and I am worried that he might snap.” I offered.

For the rest of the evening most of the conversation was about Mum and Dad and their problems. I didn’t really get the chance to tell them about my conversation with Caroline or to tell Mum abut my medical problems, so it came as a big shock to her when she saw me wearing my nightie after I changed for bed, with my budding breasts showing obviously through the thin material.

“ What on earth, Jack, or Jane.whatever, what are you doing to yourself?” She shrieked, staring at my chest.

“It’s not by choice Mum, but my body seems to be changing. It’s too late now to have this discussion we’ll talk tomorrow.” At that I lay on the couch, turned my back to her and Jenny, and pulled the quilt over me.

First thing in the morning Mum was straight into the attack, even before saying ‘good morning’.

“What do you think you are doing to yourself, it’s one thing wearing women’s clothes to get your story, and I can live with that, but it’s a totally different to taking drugs to change your body into a woman’s. Maybe your father was right after all, and I have been too soft with you over the years.”

Wiping the sleep from my eyes and standing to stretch my muscles after an uncomfortable night on the couch, I went over to her and put my hands on her arms.

“Calm down Mum, you’ve got it all wrong. I have not done anything to cause this, it’s nature playing games with me, sit down and listen, I’ll explain everything.”

Once I told her about the consultation with Doctor Stewart, the tests she had done on me, what showed up in the results and what she had told me in the follow-up consultation, she changed completely and started sobbing.

“ When you were younger, your father kept telling me that you were not growing as you should and that I should take you for an examination at the doctors, but I just ignored him and didn’t bother, thinking he wanted to turn you into a gym-obsessed muscle man like himself, maybe I should have listened and done something about it. Maybe if you had treatment earlier you would have developed differently and would not have this problem, it’s all my fault.”

“ Look Mum, what’s done is done, there is no point worrying about it. Let’s see what happens and find out what can be done.” I replied, remembering the wise words from Caroline the day before.

When she had calmed down, I got dressed for work, hugged her goodbye, and left her with her thoughts, but I couldn’t help noticing her staring at me, taking in my appearance, and shaking her head as I went out of the door.

At work later I was surprised to get a call from Marshall at Bolton Manor. “ Good morning Miss Harrison, I’ll put you through to Sir Charles, hold on please.” His formal politeness never ceased to amuse me, but I supposed that was what was expected of him.

“Good morning my dear, have you anything planned for this weekend?” A cheery Sir Charles greeted me.

“Nothing important, why are you asking?”

“William and Elizabeth will be up at the Manor this weekend. I thought that it would be a good opportunity to discuss with them the proposal for you to write a book chronicling the family history. Would you like to come over and stay the weekend and get to know them a bit better?”

“It’s a bit awkward this weekend, My Aunt is staying with my cousin Jenny and me, we have a bit of a family crisis at the moment.”

“That’s not a problem bring them with you, we have lots of rooms for them to use. Without sounding pompous I’m sure that they will jump at the chance of staying at the Manor, a story for them to tell their friends. It will all be informal, a country weekend, no need for you all to bring all your fanciest clothes.”

“I’ll ask them and see what they think, but I will come up to meet your family, even if it is just for the day. I’ll come back to you later to let you know what we have arranged.”

Jenny jumped at the chance having heard my stories about how grand the Manor was and how I had been treated and was very excited about it, Mum was a bit more reluctant, she was not really in the mood for socialising, but Jenny convinced her eventually and they both started making plans for what they would take with them. I called back to Marshall and asked him to make arrangements for the three of us, arriving Friday evening and leaving early on Monday morning.

Meanwhile over at the police headquarters, Chisholm had been hit with the evidence of his corruption in regard to the Cartwright accounts. James had decided that he would be more likely to get some of his money back if he kept it as a civil claim rather than a criminal matter, and that any court appearance would be lower key and less embarrassing. The fraud against his accounts was not directly relevant to the corruption between Hargreaves and Ridgeley, where there was no option but to treat it as a crime, so the police and the prosecutors accepted that there would be no direct involvement from them in any follow up, unless it became relevant to the corruption of the council officers.

The police however were quick to use the accounting swindle as a lever to break down Chisholm’s silence over what he knew about Ridgeley and Cartwright, and once he realised that he would be the only one carrying the can, he cracked and told them everything he knew, meetings, dates, times, extent of the bribes and, of much wider interest to the police, other people in the Planning department and other construction companies that were guilty of similar things.

With all this new information the police were able to bring formal charges against the pair, which allowed The Post, with other reporters assisting me, to run a series of detailed articles about the extent the corruption.

“Jane, can you pop into my office, there is someone who wants to talk to you.” Mike Bradley called me in the next morning. Perplexed at what was going on, I quickly redid my lipstick, fluffed up my hair, smoothed my skirt and went in.As I entered, a young man, casually but expensively dressed, who looked like he was off the front page of a celebrity magazine, stood up to greet me and shake my hand.

“ Good morning, Miss Harrison, or may I call you Jane, I’m Graham Walker, the director of ‘Spotlight’ the evening news programme on North TV.”

“ Pleased to meet you Graham, calling me Jane is fine, what can I do for you, what is this about?”

“I understand that you are the one who carried out the investigation and broke the story of the corruption of council officers. It is obviously a major local interest matter and we will be running a brief bulletin on it tonight, but we will be doing a much more extensive special feature on it in tomorrows edition. We would like you to come in to talk to us, on air about what you have been doing and discovering.”

I looked over at Mike, who nodded his agreement, and smiled back at Graham, “I’d be delighted, but I’ve never done anything like that before, I’m not sure how I would come across.”

“Don’t worry about that, we are used to dealing with first-timers. Mr Bradley has agreed that you can come over to the studio this afternoon to see how we operate, we can have a chat about how we would like the interview to go, and find out what you have to say. Our researchers can then put together a set of questions and a rough script of what we want to talk about. Tomorrow we can do a couple of runs through to get your responses, sharpen it all up a bit and get ready for filming. Are you happy with that?”

“So long as you do not try and put words in my mouth to fit a political agenda, that sounds ok, I look forward to it and will see you later. Thank you for asking me.”

When Graham had gone I stayed to talk with Mike. “Are you sure that you are happy with this, I don’t want to say anything that is still controversial or sub-judice.”

“You’ll be fine, you know what you can say, and what you are not allowed to reveal. At this stage keep it to the council officers and do not left them drift onto party-political agendas or specific politicians. Give The Post a few mentions, we always welcome a bit of positive publicity, and enjoy the experience. You are a bit of a a local celebrity at the moment, make the most of it. Clear up or pass on what you are working on this morning, get yourself ready and make your way to the studio, and we’ll see you in a couple of days.”

I quickly popped in at home, to freshen up, get changed and tell Mum what I was going to do, which caused a bit of alarm, as she felt the TV people always tried to catch people out with unexpected questions or accusations. I made my way to the studio, pausing to get my thoughts together before going in, and was soon greeted by Graham who introduced me to the people I would be appearing with.

A question-and-answer session with two of the researchers for them to get the gist of what could be discussed was followed by a makeup session before I was put in front of a camera for a screen-test. Everything went well and I was pleased to leave the team to make their preparations, with instructions to arrive the next day without too much attention to hair and makeup as their people would deal with those, in casual clothes ,with a change into the outfit I would wear for the interview.

I was surprised to see on that evenings edition of ‘Spotlight’ a clip from my screen test as a preview of the main programme the following night, there had been no mention of that to me. For the next hour my phone never stopped ringing, all the girls now my friends as well as Jenny’s, Caroline, Darren, Angie, Mike and some of my colleagues from The Post, all very complimentary about how I had come across and looked on screen. James Cartwright called later to wish me luck and to ask me not to say too much if anything at all about how his company had been defrauded by John Chisholm as he didn’t want to prejudice his civil claim against the various companies that had overcharged him.

Mum had heard from my father that he had gone to stay with his brother at the other side of the county for a while and would not be home, so she went back to her place, leaving me with the comfort of my own bed again.

Jenny wanted to get the girls together for a night out to talk about my TV appearance, but I wanted to keep a clear head for the interview and we put it off for a few nights until after it would all be over, and I had a quiet night in with Jenny in front of the TV before an early bedtime.

Nervous about doing the interview, I only managed a light breakfast before getting dressed casual in leggings and light cotton top, little makeup just lipstick and mascara, packed the outfit we had chosen for the recording, and soon arrived at the studio, not knowing exactly what to expect. I signed in and was shown the way to the ‘green room’ where Graham was waiting for me.

“ Hi Jane are you all ready for today?”

“ As ready as I will ever be Graham, what are we doing first?”

“After you left yesterday and we had a good look at your screen-test and decided that you presented yourself and came across a lot better than we expected. Unless you don’t like the idea, we would like to scrap the formal question and answer interview and instead, record it as a documentary with you doing the lead commentary, still covering the same ground but in a different format. We have already prepared the script and have picked out some location shots of the council offices, Acumen’s offices, Bolton Manor, and the site of the proposed development, to use as backdrops behind the ‘green-screen’ images of you discussing what is going on , and it is all fully scripted, although we can change that if there are some things that are not as you would like to say them.”

“ Does that mean that it is all done in the studio and we don’t have to go out for the location scenes?”

“Exactly, images of you speaking in the studio are all merged digitally post-production onto the backdrops of the location shots, and it all looks like you are actually at the locations. Have a look at the script and we will have a quick run through to see how it comes together.”

The first run-through was poor and flat and my nervousness showed, I was not expressive enough, no hand gestures, my voice wavered in volume.The next time it improved a lot and by the fourth try , Graham was happy that it would work. While the camera crew and technicians modified lighting and camera locations, and adjusted some of the background images I was sent off to makeup to get me ready for the actual shoot.

The makeup girl really went to town with me, re-styled my hair, applied a lot heavier foundation and more dramatic eye make up than I would normally use, even fixing on false lashes, and redid my nails to match the lipstick.

“This is all a bit much, particularly the heavy foundation, is it really necessary.”

“With the lighting and the high-definition cameras you really need it to be a bit more dramatic and heavy than you would wear for work or going out. Don’t worry, when you see yourself on screen you will find it looks ok.”

I put on the cream silk blouse and slipped into the pale pink skirt and matching bolero jacket and that I had brought with me, and went back to the studio to do a final rehearsal, mainly for the technical team.

The filming went well, most of it was good first time, some shots had to be retaken, but Graham and his team told me that retakes were a normal thing and that they were happy that they had enough good footage to pull together the report. While they were cutting and editing, another crew filmed a short interview of me by the show’s hosts to use as an introduction to the report and to wrap it up afterwards.

Later we all sat down to watch the final version that was to be aired and everyone, including me, was impressed with what had been done.

“You were great Jane, you are a natural at this, I’ve had a lot more bother with people who were supposed to be professional actors or experienced politicians. Do you want to go home to watch the broadcast with your family, or do you fancy going for a meal with me after it has been aired and I am off duty?” Graham surprised me by his unexpected approach.

Still full of adrenaline and excited after my experiences of the day, I jumped at the chance to keep it all going for as long as possible. I went back to makeup to get cleaned up and back to my normal daytime style, what they had done to me looked super on screen but was way over the top for going out into the world.

We ended up at Shipley Lodge, one of the high-class expensive restaurants, the type of place that served artistically presented, minimal but expensive portions, the type of place that I wouldn’t normally pick, but Graham was being charming and obviously thought that it would impress me, so I quietly went along with it. Despite my feelings about the place, the food tasted wonderful, Graham was a very attentive and amusing host, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself with him.

He walked me back to my car and gave me a big hug and a quick kiss on the mouth. I sensed that he was expecting more, but that was not possible, despite how I looked and acted, I was not attracted to him or aroused by him. My body may have been changing but in the back of my mind I was still male.

Back at the flat, Jenny was sitting waiting for me, with Susie and Babs, an empty bottle of wine and a fresh one not long opened.

“Where have you been Jane, we were expecting you home ages ago to watch the programme on TV?”

“ Sorry Jen, and girls, but after the show went out, the director Graham took me out for a meal at Shipley Lodge.”

“Oh, get you, the Nags Head won’t be good enough for you now.” joked Babs. “Tell us all about your day then and don’t forget to include the meal with Graham, What’s he like?”

They were enthralled as I told them all about how the recording went, how friendly and professional the normal programme hosts were, and how charming and encouraging Graham was. “ What did you think of the show girls, how did I do?”

“You did great , you looked like you had been doing it for ages, so confident and authoritative, I bet they will have you back again. “ Anyway, you haven’t finished your story yet, what about your night out with Graham, what’s he like?”

“ The way you lot were talking the other night you would hardly be able to control yourselves, and would frighten him to death. He is tall, dark, very attractive, and ever so charming.”

“ What are you doing back here with us then girl, didn’t you want the night to continue.”

“Don’t be silly Babs, you know why.”

“ Jen has told us about your medical condition, if you are turning into a girl you need to start getting used to being with boys.” Babs snapped back at me.

“ I wish Jen hadn’t told you, it was supposed to be a secret until it is all sorted out. I just don’t have the feelings for boys , even if my body is changing. I’m going to just get on with my life at work and see where it all takes me.”

“ What a waste, any chance of an introduction to Graham then if you are not interested, he sounds like a catch,” chipped in Susie “it’s a while since I had a hot date.”

Later in bed, before I dropped off to sleep, I thought about what Babs had said. When the doctors had sorted me out, I would really need to think about what sort of relationships I wanted.

To be continued

Friday soon came around, Jenny and I got home early from work, freshened up, packed our bags for the weekend at Bolton Manor, dressed smart casual in dress trousers, loose cotton blouses and wedge sandals and set off to collect Mum, Although Jenny was, if anything, over-excited at the prospect of the highlife for the weekend, Mum was still having doubts. She was worried that she would not fit in with the aristocracy and would show herself up, and she still wasn’t totally comfortable with me living and being totally convincing as Jane.

“Look Mum, I having been living, working, socialising as Jane for weeks now, and have even presented a programme on TV as Jane. Apart from Jenny’s friends who have known all about me from the start, and Mike my editor, nobody has ever questioned that I am not who I seem to be and everyone just accepts me as a woman.”

“Your father doesn’t accept it, and from what he said I doubt he ever will.”

“Unless the doctors sort me out soon, he will have no choice, my breasts are growing, slowly but they are still getting bigger, I don’t really have any choice at the moment but to continue living as Jane. I’m sorry if I have caused trouble between you and Dad, but one way or another he will have to accept things as they are.”

“ You don’t have to apologise for him leaving, you were just the final straw, I was on the point of asking him to leave anyway, we haven”t been getting on too well for months.“

“Let’s leave all that until after the weekend, we need to start making tracks to Bolton Manor, and please don’t forget that as far as they are concerned I am your niece, not your daughter or even worse, your son. Don’t worry about meeting Charles either, he is a friendly decent man despite his wealthy and privileged background and I’m sure that he will treat you well and will soon put you at ease. I haven’t met William and Elizabeth and can’t vouch for them, but I’m certain that Charles will keep them in check.

As we drove through the main gates to the estate and up the long drive to park in front of the house, Mum and Jenny were silent and a bit awestruck, taking in the view and the grandeur of the mansion. As expected Marshall was quickly out to open the car doors and greet us.

“Welcome to Bolton Manor, Mrs Carter, Miss Carter, glad you could make it, and it’s so nice to see you again Miss Jane.” Dropping the formality of my surname it appeared that I was now considered to be a close acquaintance and had earned the more familiar form of address. “Sir Charles is in the Orangery at the back of the house and is waiting for you, but if you want to freshen up after your journey, I’ll show you to your rooms first.”

“Thanks Marshall, I think a quick freshen up first would be welcome. If you can bring the three small bags with our essentials that would be most appreciated, the other bags can wait until we are in with Sir Charles.”

“OMG,” whispered Jenny as we went through the huge entrance hall and up the wide sweeping cantilevered staircase past all the portraits of the family ancestors, “this is like something out of Downton Abbey, and Mr Marshall is something else.”

“Don’t worry about him, he might sound a bit stuffy and formal, but he is alright and will be ever so helpful if you need anything. He does prefer to be called Marshall, not Mr Marshall, and to be honest I have never heard his first name. Mrs Hutchinson, who you will also come across, known to all as Mrs.H, is the housekeeper and cook, she is much less formal than Marshall.”

Mum was walking behind us taking in the splendour of the house, the ornate ceiling with its gilded plaster mouldings, the decorative roof-light with its coloured mosaic leaded glass, and the huge crystal chandelier hanging down between the two wings of the stairs, she was too awestruck to say anything as we were shown to our three adjoining rooms. I had been allocated the same room as I had used on my last visit , Mum and Jenny were in the adjoining rooms on either side of mine.

I was soon ready and knocked on the door to Mum’s room before entering, to find her sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. “This is all wonderful Jane, but I shouldn’t have come with you, it is all too much for me, I’m not used this level of opulence.”

“Don’t be silly Mum, it’s a house just like any other, a lot bigger and grander but it is just a family home like anyone else’s. Once you meet Charles you’ll realise that he is pleased to have you as his guest, just relax and you will enjoy yourself. Pull yourself together, I’ll go and get Jenny, and we’ll make our way down to the Orangery.”

“Delighted that you could come Jane.” He said going me a big hug. “ these lovely ladies must be your Aunt and cousin. Welcome to my home, Mrs Carter, Miss Carter, as Jane must have told you I’m Charles, no formality here, and you are?”

I gave Jenny a quick glance to tell her to let Mum go first rather than jumping in herself, Mum, as the senior of the two, had to take precedence.

“Ellen Carter, but most people call me Nell, pleased to meet you Sir Charles, thank you for inviting us to your lovely home.”

“I had to tell Jane at least twice to not bother with the ‘Sir’, let’s see if you can learn more quickly than she did.”

“That goes for me too, “ Jenny took over, “ I’m Jennifer, but Jenny will do fine, pleased to meet you at last, Jane has told me so much about you.”

“Splendid, I hope the rooms are to your satisfaction and that you have everything you need, if not ask Marshall or Mrs.H, they’ll soon sort you out. As it’s a warm evening, rather than tea or coffee we have a fresh jug of Pimms which should be a lot more refreshing, come and sit down and we’ll get to know each other better. Nell, please come and sit next to me and tell me more about your family. Jane is soon to know everything there is to know about my family history and it would be nice to know a bit about you all in return.”

As you already know I’m Jane’s Aunt, she is my sister Elizabeth’s daughter, and Jennifer, Jenny, is my daughter.

“Oh, there’s a coincidence, Elizabeth is the name of my daughter too, although she prefers to be called Lizzie, we have something in common already.” Charles was brilliant and charming with Mum and soon got her to relax , and helped along with the glass of Pimms she was soon chatting away to him like old friends.

Marshall came in and had a quiet word with Charles, who nodded and turned to us. “Friday evening here is normally fish for dinner, is that a problem for anyone, if so we can get something else made up?” Charles offered but we were all quite happy to go with that.

After about a half-hour, the door was flung open and a bubbly slim attractive red-haired young woman in a motif t-shirt, designer-ripped jeans, and trainers breezed in and went straight over to Charles giving him big hug. “Sorry I’m a bit late Daddy, traffic was awful, I hope that Mrs.H has not needed to keep dinner on hold until I arrived.”

Looking around she came over to me and gave me a hug too. “Hello, you must be Jane, I’m Lizzy, Daddy has told me so much about you, we must have a long chat together. And this must be your delightful family, she said shaking hands with Mum and Jenny, it will be fun for us all to get to know each other. If you’ll all please excuse me I’ll go and change into something a little less grunge.” She said pointing at the ripped knees in her jeans, and with that as a parting shot she breezed out again as quickly as she had come in.

“She seems a bit of a live-wire Charles, I’m sure that she was a handful as a child.” I said to break the shocked silence in the room that followed her departure.

“She still is Jane, she has not changed, it’s about time she settled down though.”

“Now Lizzie is here, we can go in for dinner, My son William will not be joining us until later.” He told us with a look of slight disappointment on his face.

Lizzie joined us as we went into the dining room. Mum and Jenny were struck, as I had been on my last visit, by the splendour and grandeur. We were shown to our places at the table, Charles at the head, Mum and Jenny on his right, and me and Lizzie to his left. Charles seemed determined to treat Mum as his guest of honour, and Lizzie was positioned so that she could act as host to both myself and Jenny.

It was very impressive when Marshall brought in a two wine coolers and made a show of getting Charles’ approval of his choice, Pouilly-fumé Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley , the first bottle of which he poured for us. To go with it he quickly returned with our starter course, seared smoked salmon with an apple and watercress salad with horseradish mayonnaise, and fingers of fresh-baked bread, still warm from the oven.

“This chap,” he said pointing proudly at the salmon “was swimming in the river at the bottom of the garden yesterday until I landed him, we do try to use our own or local produce where possible.” It was fresh, delicious, and just the right size of a portion to leave room for our main course, and the wine was a perfect match for it.

The second bottle of wine was taken and put on a serving table at the end of the room for later, and replaced by a bottle of Sancerre. Marshall repeated his showy entry for the main course, bearing a silver platter on which was laid a huge fillet of Turbot, on what we were informed was a bed of buttered cabbage dressed with a celeriac puree, along with a side serving of hazelnut pesto.

Marshall served us portions from the platter and left the remainder on the table between us, to help ourselves if we wanted more.

We were all getting a bit full, but Charles smiled as he said. “ Just a light meal tonight, only the three courses. There’s a light rhubarb and ginger crème brûlée to finish, just to freshen the palate and a rather nice Sauternes Premier Cru Superieur to wash it down.”

Later we were back in the orangery, relaxing over a glass of port with cheese and crackers, at least Charles and I were on the port, Mum and Jenny were finishing the table wines, and Lizzie was on whiskey.

“That was a delicious meal Charles, thank you.” Mum asked “Do you always eat so sumptuously or was that special just to impress us?”

“It’s not often I get to entertain four beautiful ladies, my dear, so I thought that I would make an effort, or at least get Marshall and Mrs. H to make an effort, it’s them you should be thanking. When it’s just me I often eat with them in the old servants hall, which we now use as a sort of kitchen/diner/breakfast room as everyone seems to want to do nowadays, or on a tray in front of the TV like most other people. Tonight has been as much an occasion for me as it has been for you all.” Charles was the most genial host, keeping us entertained with stories about his childhood on the estate and some of the less lurid stories of his life in London in his twenties, when he had a bit of a reputation as a ‘Ladies man’.

It was getting late, Mum, Jenny, and I made our way back upstairs to go to our rooms, leaving Charles to have some family time with Lizzie. We stopped for a few minutes outside the door to Mum’s room.

“Has it been alright for you Mum, I know that you weren’t too keen to come?”

“At first I was a bit overawed by it all and worried that Charles would be a bit pompous and patronising, but I have enjoyed his company, I’m really glad I came, let’s see what tomorrow brings.”

“What about you Jen?”

“Brilliant, I’m having a great time, this is a life I could get used to, given half a chance. I was having a good chat with Lizzie, and she said that if ever I fancied a weekend down in London to give her a call and she would show me around and introduce me to some of her friends, so who knows, eh?”

I changed for bed, cleaned off my makeup, and was just dropping off to sleep, when I heard an almighty row going on downstairs. I couldn’t make out what was being said, but Charles and Lizzie were having a big argument with someone whose voice I did not recognise. I was about to get up to see if there was anything I could do, but I heard doors slamming and footsteps on the stairs, after which it all calmed down, excitement now over, so I just turned over and went back to sleep.

In the morning I knocked on the doors of Jenny’s and Mum’s rooms and made my way down for breakfast. The Servants’ Hall was, as I expected from watching Downton Abbey and Upstairs Downstairs, an extension from the main Kitchen with a centrepiece of a long wooden oak plank table with full-length benches on either side. I could just imagine this being full with all the maids and footmen in it’s glory days, but it was looking rather sparse with just Charles and Lizzie already seated there.

Nothing was mentioned about the row late the previous night, and out of politeness I ignored it too.

“Morning Jane.” chirped Lizzie, “ I trust that you slept well, you are looking very fresh and bright-eyed this morning despite all that heavy drinking last night.”

“Oh, you know what they say about us reporters, never miss an excuse for a good drink. It’s something you have to get used to.”

“Now you mention it, Daddy told me about you being on TV and presenting a documentary about the corruption scandal at the Town Hall. We’ll have to watch it later and you can tell me all about it. There’s fruit juice, coffee, a fruit salad and toast over on the dresser, please help yourself. If you fancy a cooked breakfast, just let Mrs H know what you would like. She’s doing a full fry-up for Daddy, but just scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for me.”

Mum and Jenny soon joined us and were much more relaxed and comfortable in the basic surroundings of the servants’ hall, it was generally much more casual than the formal dinner, almost like a normal happy family breakfast.

That was all disturbed by a slamming of doors, and thumping steps on the stairs which caused us all to just pause and look questioningly around at each other.

“Excuse me a moment Ladies, there is something I need to attend to.” Charles apologised as he stood up, with blood-red cheeks, and went upstairs, from where we heard a lot more shouting.

“I have to apologise for that.” said Lizzie, taking charge of the situation. “I don’t know if any of you noticed, but late last night William finally arrived, pretty drunk and mouthing off. We all had a blazing row, telling him that we had guests and that he needed to behave himself. Anyway after a lot of foul-mouthed abuse he stormed off, to god knows where for the night. Obviously he is in no better a mood after sleeping off the drink. I’m sorry that you had to suffer this family squabble.”

“No need to apologise to us,” Mum replied, “ all families have their rows, but it’s best kept within the family. Now what are the plans for today?”

“We were intending that Daddy, William, Jane and I would have a meeting to talk about the family history, while you and Jenny were shown around the gardens and estate by Marshall. However I now think it’s best if we forget the meeting at the moment, while Daddy and William sort things out between themselves, so I will do the tour with you. It’s a pleasant day, so you should all be ok dressed as you are, If the breeze gets up we have plenty of gilets that we can put in the buggy.”

Walking us around the gardens and down the river, Lizzie was a genial knowledgeable hostess. Despite her artistic streak and lifestyle she still obviously had a love for the property and knowledge of all the trees shrubs and flowers, her affection for her home was easy to see.

We collected one of the gardener’s buggies and with Mum and Jenny in the back and me up front with Lizzie she drove us all around the estate, to the walled garden that provided most of the household vegetables, the stables where we were introduced to Chestnut, her favourite hunter as she was growing up, through the woods and deer park, and finally to look over the boundary road to the site where the development was to take place. Far from being a spoiled upper-class daughter of an aristocrat as I had expected, she came across as just an ordinary, pleasant attractive young woman, lots of fun, I felt really comfortable in her company.

When we returned to the house, we found Charles, and who I assumed to be William sitting in the Orangery. Although it was a pleasant warm day, the atmosphere in the room was so chilly, you could have cut it with a knife, It appeared that whatever the problem was between the two of them had not gone away.

“Welcome back Ladies, it’s time you met my son and heir, William. Apologies for postponing our meeting Jane we’ll find a bit of time later.”

William greeted us all rather formally and seemingly grudgingly, but at least he managed to force a smile as he did so. He quickly shook hands with Mum and me, but I noticed that he held Jenny’s hand a little longer than ours, and his smile seemed a lot warmer and more genuine.

Lunch was a casual affair, a buffet of cold meats, cheese, pickles and salad, and fresh bread, taken in the servants’ hall. Will had warmed to us a bit, and was even coming across as friendly, particularly to Jenny, he made sure that he was sitting next to her and they chatted away a lot between themselves while the rest of us made general conversation.

Afterwards Mum and Jenny went off to the Orangery to relax for a while, The Boltons and I stayed behind to have a conversation about the proposed book. Charles and Lizzie were quite enthusiastic and relished the thought of someone else, namely me, doing all the hard work of research and compilation of the family memoirs.

William however was a lot less keen and his comments ranged from indifference to open rejection, particularly to the suggestion that I would be allowed to include some of the more indiscreet events in the family history. At least though, it was agreed that I would have total access to the family archives, although William in particular said he reserved the right to have some things omitted if he felt that they reflected too badly on the family reputation.

To get a bit of fresh air we all went for another tour around the garden. William and Jenny led the way and seemed to be getting on well together, which appeared to have calmed him down to allow his smooth charm to show. Lizzie and I once again were paired together, I enjoyed her company, and she seemed to delight in our conversations, although whether it was sign of friendship or just polite smooth hosting of a guest still left me perplexed. Charles and Mum dawdled on behind, letting us youngsters look after ourselves while they were happy to be in each others company.

Later, over tea and cake in the Orangery Lizzie insisted on us all watching a copy of my ‘Spotlight’ presentation which, although all but Lizzie and William had seen it before, proved a big talking point.

“Is that it Jane, or do you have any more planned?’ Charles enthusiastically enquired.

“I think it was just a one-off, nobody has asked me back again.”

“That’s a shame, Lizzie interrupted, “ you were very good and put your points over really clearly. Daddy, do you know anyone at North TV who might be able to help.?”

“As a matter of fact I do, but really Jane should make her own career path without any unfair influence.”

“That was worth watching, but I think that it is time to prepare for dinner. I know that I told you ladies that it was going to be a casual weekend, but I’m sure that you have brought something dressy just in case, Let’s all dress properly for dinner, it will give me a chance to see our lovely guests in all their finery. Lizzie, you know what is expected, please sort it out with the other ladies.”

As we were going up to our rooms, Lizzie turned back, and I noticed her having quite a heated discussion with her brother in the Entrance Hall. I couldn’t catch what was said but it was obvious that she was not happy with him and was giving him a good telling-off and warning.

Charles must have read our minds, or maybe Mum had a quiet word with him when we were out walking, but he was right, Mum Jenny and I had brought dresses with us, just in case. Mum had brought a gorgeous full length ivory flowing chiffon affair and I had brought the coral prom dress that I had worn for the dinner-dance, Jenny felt that her outfit was a bit dowdy compared to ours, but Lizzie came to the rescue when she returned to us and let her borrow a fitted azure calf-length sheath dress along with some diamond pearl drop earrings.

Feeling glamorous and in keeping with our surroundings we strutted, arms linked, down the staircase to be met by Lizzie and Charles looking extremely dapper in his dinner jacket with a bow tie, cummerbund and pocket kerchief colour-matched to Mum’s dress, I was proved correct, they must have planned this together. As we descended to be greeted by Charles, Lizzie snapped away with her camera, taking photos for us to remember our grand night out at the Manor.

Even Marshall had entered into the spirit of things showing us to our seats dressed in full family livery, knee-breeches, embroidered waistcoat, frock-coat.white socks and buckled dress shoes, they were all determined that we were going to have a night to remember. We were seated as the previous evening, with the addition of William to Jenny’s right, looking very respectable and handsome in a white dinner jacket and, just like Charles and Mum, his accessories were all colour-matched to Jenny’s dress, Lizzie had obviously had a word with him.

The meal was a complete change to the previous evening, much more rustic and traditional, cock-a-leekie soup, followed by game pie, rhubarb fool with shortbread as dessert and again Marshall had made excellent choices from the wine cellar to complement the meal. Whilst we all joined in the general conversations, a lot of the chat was in the pairs we had formed earlier, Mum and Charles, Jenny and William, Me and Lizzie, with Jenny getting a lot of attention from William. Whatever the problem was between him and his father seemed to have been resolved.

However that all changed as the evening went on and we had been hitting the port and the whiskey, he became loud and boorish, telling risqué jokes and using lewd innuendo. Eventually Charles rose and went over to him. “Can I have a word with you in private William?”, and the pair of them left. Charles returned after a few minutes and seemed calm and in control. “William is feeling unwell, and has gone out for some fresh air before retiring, once again, I feel I need to apologise for his behaviour.”

The atmosphere in the room soon became pleasant again, and the rest of the evening, Lizzie, Jenny and I chatted away, while Charles and Mum went for a stroll in the bright full-moon-light around the garden, until it was time for bed.

I was quite tired and sleepy, my body was no longer used to so much food and the wine and was just beginning to nod off when there was a terrifying scream from Jenny’s room next door. Not bothering to put on a dressing gown, I rushed to her room in just my nightie to see what the problem was, and as I opened the door, William pushed Jenny onto the bed and lay on top of her. “Come on girl, you have been playing up to me all day, it’s obvious you want me.” She tried to push him away and screamed at him again but he was too big and strong for her.

Whatever little amount of testosterone was still flowing through me seemed to take over, I jumped on him, put my arm around his throat, dragged him onto the floor and kneed him in the groin, which put him out of action for a few seconds. I was just about to start thumping the daylights out of him when my arm was grabbed and I turned around to see a fuming Lizzie glaring at her brother.

“Get out of here now. I told you earlier that you had to leave Jenny alone, she’s not one of the drink and drug affected sluts that you hang around with in town. You are a disgrace to the family. Get to your room this instant or I will let Jane continue knocking seven bells out of you.” She shouted at him.

“You bunch of dyke bitches, don’t think you’ve heard the last of this.” He snarled as he left.

“Are you ok Jen, do you want me to stay with you tonight in case he comes back?” I asked as I put my arm around her.

“If you don’t mind, I know that I was flirting a bit with him but I never gave him any indication that I wanted sex with him. Lucky you came in, I don’t think I could have stopped him by myself.”

“Unless it’s a problem, I’ll stay too, if he comes back I can control him better than you.” Lizzie offered. Luckily the bed was huge, what would be called super-kingsize in the shops, and comfortably had room for the three of us, and thankfully we were all able to get to sleep and were not disturbed further.

When I woke, my arm was around Jenny to comfort her, but I was surprised to find Lizzie’s arm around my waist. She soon woke and left to go back to her own room, and as Jenny seemed calm and not too badly affected by what had happened I went back next door, got dressed and went down for breakfast.

“Lizzie told me what happened last night Jane, I can’t apologise enough, is Jenny ok?” asked Charles, with a worried and concerned look.

“She’ll survive, luckily I got there before it had gone too far. However Charles I don’t think that I can work again with William, so I think we best cancel my involvement in the memoirs before I really get started.”

“Don’t be silly, why should we all suffer for his gross behaviour. I assure you that you will never have to meet him again, he wasn’t too interested in the memoirs anyway. Lizzie and I will do all we can to assist you and fill in some of the details that are part of family folklore, please say that you will continue as planned.”

“Where is he anyway? Too embarrassed to face us all?”

“He’s left, and I’ll tell you bluntly, he won’t be coming back in a hurry.”

When Mum and Jenny came down he went over to Jenny and gave her a big fatherly hug. “You poor girl,I’m so sorry. When I talked to Jane a few weeks ago about writing the book, I told her that William was only interested in a life of debauchery, but I never realised how bad he had got. If there’s anything I can do please let me know.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for Charles.” Mum replied as she put her hand on his arm. Lizzie has told us about your rows with him and warning him to behave himself after arriving drunk on Friday and returning in a foul mood in the morning, at that age there is nothing you can do to change him.”

“That’s what he thinks, but he only knows part of the story.” Charles said cryptically, getting a questioning look from Lizzie. He got up to go to his study, leaving Lizzie to look after us through breakfast.

“Are you sure that you are ok Jenny? I know that you were putting on a brave face for Daddy, but you can be honest with me.”

“No, seriously, no harm’s been done thanks to Jane and you. I’ll be fine as long as I don’t have to see him again.”

After a while Charles came back in wearing his jacket and carrying keys. “I must apologise ladies, I have to take the car and go out on urgent business, please excuse me, Lizzie will you look after our guests for me?”

The rest of the morning, while Charles was away, Lizzie gave us a tour of the house, telling us the stories of the ancestors whose portraits were on the walls, and the history of the Manor from the early days as a glorified large farmhouse and all the extensions rebuilds and modifications that had turned it into the mansion it now was. Whereas her brother had little interest in the family past, Lizzie seemed to relish it all and her pride of some of her ancestors who had made the family fortunes really shone through.

When Charles returned he looked a lot happier and asked Lizzie to join him his study to discuss some family business. He returned to us on his own looking relieved and calm.

“Jane, I told you earlier that you would not have to face William again and have been talking to my solicitors regarding what I can do about it. It is really a family matter but in the circumstances I think you should know too, although it is a case of washing dirty linen in public.”

“Are you sure that you want to tell us this.”

“Yes, you will get to know anyway, it is part of the family story in the archive records. William is not my son by blood. Before we were married Cressida had an affair, which to be honest was pretty much the norm in our social set at the time, and William was the result. As far as public records go, my name is on the birth certificate but I’ve always known different. Now with DNA analysis it is so easy to prove that he is not a blood relative to me. His behaviour for the last few years has been abysmal and last night was the final straw.”

He paused to gather his thoughts and took a deep breath before continuing.

“This morning I have instructed my solicitor to take steps to have him declared illegitimate and therefore have him declared as no longer the heir to my title or my property. After due process and with the correct validation, Lizzie will inherit everything. William will get an allowance to keep him off the streets, but it will be substantially less than he is getting now and his lifestyle is about to take a downward tumble. I am also taking out a restraining order to keep him away from the estate.”

“Does that mean that Lizzie will inherit the title? I thought that it would have to pass to some distant long-lost male relative.”

“You’re right, that would usually be the case, but there is a special clause in the ‘letters patent’ granting the title to the first Baron Bolton, who only had daughters, allowing the title to be passed down the female line.”

“Did Lizzie know you planned to do this?”

“No Jane she didn’t, until a few minutes ago she was not aware of any of it, She was quite taken aback by it and is spending some time thinking it through.”

“If you don’t mind, I would like to go to her, it may help to clear her mind talking to someone else about what it will all mean for her future”

I found her sitting on a bench in the garden overlooking the river, staring blankly at the swans and geese drifting by, sat down next to her and put a consoling arm around her shoulder.

“Your father has told us what he is doing about William, it must have all come as a big shock to you.”

“It will turn my life upside down, I will now have massive responsibilities, my carefree days of enjoying myself are over. When this is all sorted out, the next step will be pressuring me to get married and produce an heir.”

“What’s wrong with that, we all have to settle down sometime?”

“That’s the big problem I am a lesbian, well mainly, although I have been with men too.”

“Is that still a big deal nowadays, just be yourself.”

“Just like you, you mean? I know your secret Jane, we now know each others lies in life. When you were wrestling William to the floor last night your nightie was up around your waist and you just didn’t look right, and when you were asleep,I confirmed my suspicions. Do you want to tell me about it?

To be continued.

Authors note: I have realised that I have been wrongly referring to Charles as ‘Sir Charles’. The correct form of address is ‘Lord Bolton’ which is a superior title. In this and subsequent chapters the correct title will be used, along with references to ‘your lordship’, ‘his lordship’ etc.
**************************************************************************

I was stunned and embarrassed when Lizzie told me that she knew about my situation. I wasn’t embarrassed so much that she knew I was cross-dressing, I was used to that now, it was more of a worry that she knew I had been deceiving her father for weeks. Feeling guilty and ashamed, I didn’t know how to reply and stayed silent.

“Come on Jane, talk to me, I have just trusted you with my secret life, I am not in a position to judge you or criticise you. If you don’t want to tell me fair enough, but I would like to know more about you. If it is any consolation to you, you are so convincing that I had absolutely no idea, and I do mix in LGBTQ circles and know a few trans-girls. You are just so natural, were you raised as a girl?”

“Not at all, this is all just recent for me, that’s the problem, I am not sure who or what I am. Since this all started a few weeks ago, I seem to be on a spiral getting deeper and deeper into womanhood.” She sat silently listening intently as I told her the story from when Darren asked me to help him out and how it had just become second-nature for me to dress and act as a woman.

“Wow, that is some story, after you finish writing our memoirs you ought to consider writing your own. “What are we going to do with you now?”

“ Can we just continue as before, at least until I get it clear in my head what direction my hormones are taking me? From what the doctor has said to me, I am almost as much female as male, and these are growing naturally, with no help from drugs.” I told her looking down at my small breasts.”

“ Ok, for the moment we’ll keep each others’ secrets, but sooner or later we are both going to have to make decisions about our future. William knows about my sexuality and keeps threatening to tell Daddy, he found out through a friend of a friend, I suppose I’d better tell him now, before William does, in a fit of spite.”

“ Anyway, you have distracted me, I came out to see if you wanted to talk about the big news about your inheritance issues, ‘your Ladyship.’ I joked to her.”

“There’s a long way to go yet before you have to call me that, there are a lot of legalities to sort out. Although William can be an absolute pig, he is still my younger brother and I feel that I am robbing him of his birthright.”

“Whether you like it or not, it is not his birthright, if your father is proven correct, he is not the rightful heir, in law, and quite frankly, from what you and your father have told me and what I have seen, he doesn’t deserve to be. He has no interest in the family or the estate except as a means of supporting him in his dissolute lifestyle , whereas your eyes light up when you are talking about them. The estate and the family reputation are much safer in your hands than in his. All you have to worry about is somehow producing an heir and carrying on the bloodline.”

“If it’s not too forward and far too early, maybe in time if you are still in full working order, you might be able to help me with that.” She grinned and held my hand as we got up and walked back to the house.”

On the way back Lizzie decided to tell her father right away, before William did, and she took him off to his study to break the news. While they were away I told Mum and Jenny that Lizzie had discovered the truth about me while I was wrestling on the floor with William, but kept to myself that she had confirmed it when the three of us were in bed.

“Oh dear, this could be embarrassing if she tells him about you.” Mum looked worried.

“It should be fine for the moment, for various reasons she is not in a hurry to tell him that. Anyway, just for a change let’s go and see what Mrs.H is up to in the kitchen and whether she will let us help, she’s been a star the last couple of days.”

There was very little for us to do as she had the main items all prepared and under control, but appreciated the offer. Marshall however looked horrified when he saw us in the kitchen peeling potatoes and chopping vegetables. It was obvious that in his world it was not the done thing for the household to help out the staff.

Charles and Lizzie found us in there and looked relaxed and happy, Lizzie winked at me and gave a thumbs-up, obviously her father had took the news without too much fuss.

Leaving Mum and Jenny to themselves for a while, Charles and Lizzie led me to the ante-room to the library where the family archives were stored, many of them seemed to be on delicate old parchment and were preserved from deterioration in sealed boxes and would require careful handling. They left me to have a think about how I wanted to go forward while they went back to look after their guests. I decided to minimise any damage to the documents by speed-reading them, deciding if they were of interest or relevant to the story, and photographing those that I wanted to study in more detail. It was obviously going to be a long and laborious task.

Or final evening together was very much a casual affair, no fancy clothes, meals or wine, just a traditional Sunday roast leg of lamb family dinner. It was a much more pleasant evening without the disruptive presence of William and finished off the weekend for Mum and Jenny in a friendly relaxed atmosphere.

Later I was just getting into bed when they was a gentle rap at the door and Lizzie came in to see me. “I just thought that I would let you know that Daddy wasn’t too put out at all when I told him about my sexuality. He said that he had his suspicions anyway, and the way I was fussing around you all weekend just made him even more convinced. Other than the problem of carrying on the bloodline, he was not too concerned about how I wanted to live my life. He said that when he was younger in the 1960s and 70s his parents used to complain about the loose morals of the younger generation, partly aimed at him, and that he wasn’t going to preach at me. As regards carrying on the family dynasty, I told him that I had ideas of how to deal with that.” She said looking at me with a twinkle in her eye.

“Taken aback, I quickly replied, “If you mean what I think you mean, let’s just take it slowly, you hardly know me, and it’s too early to commit to that, I need to sort myself out first, but the idea is very appealing.”

“Since I’m here, and I have told you that I don’t mind which way I play, let me introduce you to the joys of girl-on-girl intimacy, we’ll save the rest for another time.” Lizzie and I spent the next few hours together, exploring each others bodies, before she felt she had to go back to her own room before we were discovered.

In the morning we packed our things went down for breakfast, and got ready to leave. As we were in the Servants’ Hall we went next door to the kitchen to thank Marshall and Mrs.H for all their attention over the weekend and for once Marshall’s stuffy façade dropped as he blushingly accepted a hug from Mum, before going to get our cases and put them in my car.

“ You must all come again, I’ve really enjoyed your company, you have made an old man very happy.” Charles grinned as he wished us goodbye with big hugs. Lizzie followed suit, except that her hug for me included a cheeky discreet squeeze of my bottom.

“I’ll give you a call later in the week about another look at the archives after I have sorted a few things out at work.” I told Charles before we left.

The next few days settled into a routine, mainly follow-up articles on the corruption case, which was progressing well now that the police had broken Chisholm’s resistance and had formally charged Ridgeley and Hargreaves, who had been remanded in custody until a trial, some months away after the police had concluded their investigations. I also managed to also pull together a separate story of the Bolton Manor Estate and the family history and their involvement in the major out-of-town development, which in no way implicated the family in the corruption scandal.

“I like that story about the Boltons Jane.” my editor Mike congratulated me. “We’ll run it later in the week when there is nothing new on the main story. You seem to have Lord Bolton and his daughter on your side, let’s keep it that way, send them a draft to see if they want to add anything.”

“Actually, that brings me on to something else. I’m working on a full history of the family, using lots of the old records in the private archives, with the intention of publishing it. There is an enormous amount of paperwork, going back hundreds of years and it is going to swallow up a lot of my time doing all the research over at the Manor. Have you any problems if I go part-time here, obviously I want to keep involved with the corruption story, but anything else could be left to the other reporters.”

“How dry do you expect the book to be, will there be any juicy titbits in there?”

“From what I have seen already there are a few scandals and stories of intrigue hidden away, why do you ask?”

“Go freelance, and only charge us for the time you put in on the articles for The Post, but in return, I would like serialisation rights to publish extracts of the bits that I think will appeal to our readers. Do you agree?”

“Sounds ok to me, but I need to clear it with the family first. Actually I want to go over to the Manor to discuss the article with Lord Bolton, I’ll run it past him while I am there.”

“ Fine by me, but clear up anything else you are working on here first.”

Surprisingly, at the Manor my knock on the door was answered by Mrs. H rather than by Marshall. Seeing the look of surprise on my face she quickly explained. “Oh, hello Jane, nice to see you again. We weren’t expecting visitors today so Marshall is having a day off to deal with a few personal matters.”

“Is Charles free at the moment?”

“Very much so, you’ll find his lordship down at the river up to his waist in the water trying to catch a couple of trout for tonight.”

“How’s it going Charles, catch anything yet?” I called out to get his attention.

“With you in a minute Jane just wait on the bench until I reel in this fellow.”

He landed a brown trout and popped it in the keep-net before joining me. “ To what do I owe this pleasure dear girl?”

I showed him a transcript of the article which he was more than happy for us to run. “I’ve had a word with my editor and he is happy for me to go part-time so that I can be here doing the archive research more often. However, if it turns out to be of wider interest he wants the rights to serialise extracts from it in The Post, are you happy to agree to that?”

“Two things. Firstly, I chose you to write the book because I feel I can trust you to write it in a favourable light. Secondly, one of the few sensible ideas that William has ever come up with is that the family should have a veto on anything we don’t want to be made public, or at least can insist that you tone it down. Subject to that I don’t have a problem. Since you are here now, are you staying for lunch, you can then get started on the archives, unless you have other commitments?”

Over a Ploughman’s Lunch and a glass of cider brewed on one of the estate farms, I updated him on the situation with Ridgeley being held in custody.

“ Good thing too, they ought to lock the door and throw away the key. I never liked dealing with him. Changing the subject, how is Nell, sorry, your Aunt, has she come back down to earth after the weekend here?”

“Her and Jenny have not stopped talking about it, telling all their friends, you really made a good impression on them.”

“ And vice-vera, I enjoyed their company, please tell them that they are welcome back here any time.”

“What about William, have you heard from him since he stormed off?”

“No sign of hide nor hair of him. Lizzie phoned around his friends but nobody has seen or heard from him since he left to come up here. The ball’s in his court, when he gets over his tantrums, or more likely when he needs money, he will be in touch.”

“What about Lizzie?”

“She went back to town to sort a few things out. Did she tell you about her personal life?”

“If you mean about preferring girls to boys, yes she did. Has that changed what you propose to do about the inheritance?”

“Not at all, William has burnt his bridges, he has gone too far too many times, Lizzie is a much safer pair of hands to take care of the family future.”

“Right Charles, I am here to work, so I suppose I better get started if you’ll excuse me.”

The following few days very much followed the same pattern, mornings at The Post, afternoons at the Manor, and evenings with Jenny and Mum, or the occasional night out with the girls.

As a courtesy, since Cartwright Projects and their involvement with the development of The Bolton Centre was mentioned in my piece about the family, I called in to see James and Darren. Surprisingly I was warmly welcomed by all the staff, my appearance on ‘Spotlight’ the previous week was still the talk of the office and the women all wanted to know about the people I’d worked with at North TV. After a polite stop to have a chat with them all, particularly Liz and Angie, I ,managed to break away to go into James’ office, where I was warmly welcomed with a big hug and cheek kiss.

“So glad to see you again Jane, we’ve lots of things going on, since you got to the bottom of things. Tell me what you have been up to, then we will call Darren in to tell you what is happening here.”

“I’ve settled back at The Post, but things have moved on. I am getting closer to Lord Bolton and his family, so if he needs a bit of a nudge going forward on the development, let me know and I’ll see what I can do for you. He has commissioned me to research his family history and pull it all together into a book, so I am up at the Manor quite often. The Post will soon be running an article I have written on the Bolton Family and estate, and their involvement with you on the development gets a mention. I thought that you might like to see it before we go to press.” I passed him a transcript to read through.

“ No problems at all with that, in fact I’d appreciate it if you could add a bit more about us. Let me get Darren come in with us.”

“ Darren greeted me with a big hug and a surprised stare, taking in how much more feminine I was now looking.”

“Wow, Susie told me that you were really settled now as Jane, but I was not expecting how convincing you appear.”

“Can we forget all that Darren, at the moment I am Jane, and happy to be continuing. Now what is happening here?”

“We’ve had in-depth discussions with the police and with our lawyers. We have agreed that there will be no criminal charges in relation to the false invoices to us. We are advised that it will be more successful to deal with those as civil matters, the burden of proof is a lot lower, and the chances of recovering some of the money a lot higher. Carl and some specialist forensic accountants he has brought in have even recovered some already, some other companies know which side their bread is buttered and have agreed to return substantial amounts, although the exact repayments are still to be agreed. We are in negotiations with more companies that we know about and are still searching our records to see if there are any more. If we can get it all sorted without going to court it will save an awful lot of time and money.”

“What about John Chisholm’s involvement in it all?”

“Obviously he has lost his job here, and will still face criminal charges along with Ridgeley, Hargreaves, and other Council staff in relation to the Public corruption charges. It is going to be more difficult getting our hands on any of his kick-backs, his main asset is his house and it will be difficult to make a claim on that while he still has young children living there. Apparently he has been a middle-man passing on payments between Ridgeley and more junior staff in the planning department, at the moment there is no evidence of any wrong-doing by him representing our company.”

“You said that there are more council staff involved, turning back to my role as a reporter, how many are we talking about and have they been named.”

“Sorry we can’t help you there. Joe Riley, now he knows about our link to you, and therefore to The Post, is being very careful telling us anything, you’ll have to use your other contacts, I’m afraid.”

“On the way in I saw that Liz and Maggie are still here, does that mean that their jobs are safe.”

“Let’s say that they are on probation, both of them were naive and under the influence of others. Unless anything more comes to light, and as long as they behave themselves in the future, I will not involve them in any of my claims, but Liz and her sister will probably be called as witnesses in the criminal corruption case as Ridgeley is also being charged with blackmail and coercive behaviour.”

I noted that it was Darren leading the discussions on all this and that James was taking a backseat.

“It seems that you have got this under control James, hopefully you can now concentrate on getting the company back on an even keel.”

“Actually that will all be down to Darren. All this turmoil with the accounts and the corruption has made me realise that I am not enjoying it all as much as I used to when I was building the company up, I am not getting the same buzz. Although I will still be the public face of the company and doing a lot of the glad-handing, all the worries of the day-to day administration and dealing with clients investors and suppliers will be down to him, with me looking over his shoulder, when I am not out on the golf course.”

“ You’ve not mentioned Sally, what are you doing about her?”

“ We’re doing nothing, but she is likely to be charged for aiding and abetting Ridgeley in recruiting Liz and her sister, although the police think the prosecutors will not be too heavy with her.”

“ Right, I’d better be going now, I’m glad that I was of help to you. Enjoy your retirement James.” I said as I left.

Later on the winding country roads out to the Manor, I was tailgated by a transit van, driving far too close for comfort. ‘Typical selfish white-van-man’ I thought, always in a hurry trying to intimidate people to drive faster or get out of their way, and as I slowed to turn into the drive to the Manor, he came roaring past, his horn blaring, giving obscene hand gestures, almost forcing me off the road. I pulled up just inside he gate to get over it and calm down before driving up to continue my research and put it out of my mind.

However as I was driving home later the same thing happened, this time with a large saloon car, full headlights glaring in my rear-view mirror, following me almost all the way home. Caroline’s words came back to me. ‘Keep on with it, you are really shaking things up, but be careful you will be upsetting a lot of people who won’t be happy, and will be only too willing to get their revenge on you.’ I was worried that these were not just cases of casual bad driving but that someone was trying to intimidate me.

As I entered the flat, I noticed a plain envelope on the floor, no address, no stamp, just my name. Inside there was just a photo of my car taken from behind, and a short printed message ‘Be careful how you drive.’

“Mike, I’ve just had a threatening letter with a photo of my car, and have been bothered twice today by tailgating drivers, someone is trying to scare me off. Do you want to run it as a story?”

‘Give more details Jane and I’ll write a short piece for tomorrow’s edition, and then take the envelope and contents to the police, they may be able to get prints or DNA .”

The investigating officers on the corruption scandal were glad to see me and take the message for checking, Hopefully it would prove to be a link to the corruption and be another charge to hit Ridgeley with.

The next few days, to be sure that it wasn’t all just coincidental I varied my travel routes and times. thankfully there was no repeat of the intimidation, but I was still uneasy.

I had received an appointment letter from the Endocrinology Department at the hospital to see the specialist about my hormone imbalances and arrived for my appointment a bit worried and concerned at what I may be told. Thankfully it was another female doctor, Helen Shipley, for some reason I felt less embarrassed than I would have been with a man.

“Good morning Miss Harrison, I have your notes from Dr.Stewart and I am intrigued. She has explained your situation as she sees it, and in the circumstances it is best that I refer to you as Jane Harrison for the moment and maintain your records as such. Your test results are unusual, to say the least, and I would like to repeat them, and also send you for a body scan, which has already been arranged for this morning, I will see you again later today. She gave me a physical examination, took more blood tests and all the usual body function readings, I then got dressed and went down to wait for the scan. Three hours later I was in with her again.

“The tests have confirmed those taken by Dr Stewart, your hormone levels are fairly neutral between male and female, but they can easily be modified and controlled by drugs. However the scan showed that you have underdeveloped female internal sexual organs as well as the obvious external male ones. There are lots of detailed and varied medical terms, but basically you are, and have always been, intersex.”

“What exactly does that mean? Is my body going to make further changes? Am I fertile, as a male?”

“Other than the continuing development of breast tissue, your body will not make significant further changes without surgery or other medical intervention. Basically you can either have the breast tissue removed, take male hormones and live your life as a man, or you can have corrective surgery, take female hormones and live as a woman. You don’t have to make a decision immediately, you could wait to see how your body develops, but whichever option you choose you need to think seriously about how you want your future to be.”

“Am I fertile as a male at the moment, and if so can I give a semen sample to be kept for if ever I want to use it and my body is no longer capable.” For some unexplained reason the image of me and Lizzie, with a child, jumped into my thoughts.

“I can’t give you the answer to that. If you can provide a sample, we will test it for sperm count and activity, and if it is adequate we can store it for later use, it may be a wise precaution at this stage. Go home and have a think about it, talk to your family and close friends and let me know what you want to do. It’s a big decision, and there is no rush. I don’t know how you looked and behaved when you were living as a boy and man, but I can say that from what I can see now, you would have no problem carrying on as you are.”

It had all come as a big shock and my mind was totally confused. I had been totally normal and content with my life as a boy and man, but since starting to live as Jane, I had become comfortable and happy with that too. A few weeks ago, if I had been told the same news, the choice would have been easy, Jack was who I was and who I would remain however now that I had been living as Jane and settled into a routine as a woman, the choice was not as clear cut.

To be continued.

Totally shocked and devastated by the news that my body was intersex, I moped around in my own grey miserable world for the rest of the day, wandering the streets, stopping for coffees, watching the ducks and geese on the lake in the park, generally hiding away, before I had got myself together enough to face people again.

I phoned into the office to tell them that I was following up on a story as an excuse for not facing people, before heading to Bolton Manor to continue my research. I hoped that it would be a distraction, something to occupy my mind and let me forget about what I had been told earlier, even if only for a few hours. However it didn’t work, I couldn’t concentrate and it was effectively a waste of an afternoon, so I packed up, had a coffee and a chat with Mrs.H and then left for home.

When Jenny got in from work, I told her to keep her coat on, and drove the pair of us round to Mum’s.

“There’s something I need to talk to you both about. I went to the hospital for tests today to see the endocrinologist Ms.Shipley. This is going to sound really weird and I don’t really understand it myself, but it appears that my body is confused. As well as the obvious external male genitals, it seemed that I also have, hidden away inside me, female reproductive organs too, intersex she called it. It seems that I’m neither one nor the other, or both. That helps to explain why I have so easily slipped into the role of Jane, I am just as much Jane as I am Jack.”

From the look on their faces, they were as surprised and confused as I was.

“So what happens now, what can they do about it?” asked Jenny, coming out of shock more quickly than Mum.

“I can just stay as I am and see what happens, although the continuing development of my breasts probably means that that would need to be as Jane. Another option is to get the breast tissue removed and go back to living as Jack, probably taking hormones for the rest of my life to keep me locked into that. Alternatively, I could have corrective surgery to remove my external manhood, take female hormones and develop, to all intents and purposes, as a normal woman.”

“What about children, I have been looking forward to grandchildren, and it doesn’t look like Jenny is in a hurry to provide any?” Mum asked.

“I‘m still not sure, in fact Ms Shipley is not sure either. It is likely that I can father a child either naturally or via IVF, but whether I can produce fertile eggs and get pregnant as a woman is a bit unknown.”

“ How do you feel about it all, it must have come as a huge shock?” Jenny interrupted Mum’s line of questioning.

“Huge shock doesn’t really cover it Jen, I don’t really know, stunned, astonished, confused, worried, but whatever happens, nothing is going to change in a hurry. Once we all get over the shock and have had time to think about it, we’ll have another talk, but I need to sort myself out first.”

I needed to get away from the pressure of the emotional thoughts of my family which was causing me even more upset. I gave Caroline a call to check that she was free for a chat and ten minutes later I was sitting having a glass of wine with her. She sat quietly enthralled as I updated her on my medical condition. Her calm easy-going manner relaxed me and I was able to tell her everything without all the emotional tugs that I had felt from Mum and Jenny.”

“Rather than think of yourself as having a problem, treat it as an opportunity. Not many people get to choose how they want to live their lives. I know that with all the LGBT stuff that is on the TV and in the papers nowadays, everyone seems to have more choice, but a lot of people, if you listen closely to what they say, are being over-positive to mask the discomfort, confusion, guilt, or shame that they truly feel. You on the other hand are not responsible in any way for your condition and there is no reason to feel that you have to hide who you are. You can decide whether you want to be a man, woman , or somewhere in-between with no recriminations or name-calling. Whatever you decide, you will always be welcome here, I will not judge you or try to influence you, it’s your life and you should make the decision to suit what you really think is best for you.”

I started to cry and she pulled my head over to rest on her shoulder until I was able to pull myself together.

“Caroline, you make everything sound so uncomplicated, I’m glad that I came round to see you. We’ve only known each other a few weeks, but I already look on you as the person to talk to when I am confused and upset.”

My chat with Caroline, whilst not solving my problems, at least let me put them to the back of my mind and I left her feeling much happier in myself. I would just take things as they came, see how my body changed, if at all, I was in no hurry to make a decision and decided to just carry on with my life.

Two things happened on the following Friday that raised my spirits.

I was working away in the library at the Manor, when my phone buzzed.
“Hello, is that Jane, this is Graham Walker from North TV?”

“Oh, hi Graham, this is a surprise, what can I do for you?”

“Actually, it’s about what I can do for you. We had a massive positive reaction to your presentation about the corruption in the council offices, you came across really well and a lot of people were asking when they would see you again. It got my producers thinking that maybe you would be interested in doing a series of more exposé stories for us. Depending on what you want to do, our researchers can do most of the investigative ‘donkey work’ and you can just present it, or if you prefer you could carry out a lot of the investigative work and script writing yourself. What do you think?”

“Whoa, that’s a bit out of the blue Graham, I’m very surprised. I’m a bit busy at the moment and need to think about it and how I could fit it in with other commitments, I’ll come back to you on it, but it does sound interesting and appealing.”

“By the way, we never agreed a contract and payment for your last appearance, after all it was not just a matter of you being interviewed, it was a full-blooded presentation by you, you deserve a payment in line with what our other on-screen talent receives. I have sent you a contract with our standard terms and conditions for freelance presenters, look through it, hopefully sign it, and give us your bank details, payment will be sent by return. If you decide that you want to do more work with us, give me a call and we can meet up, preferably over dinner and drinks, and discuss it in more detail.”

“ Wow, you know how to shock a girl, Graham., I’m sure that we can sort something out, I promise that I will be in touch soon. Bye for now.”

I cancelled the call and was so excited at the possibilities opening up for me. I desperately needed to share the news with someone.

Just then, I heard footsteps behind me and suddenly there were hands over my eyes and a sultry voice whispering in my ear. “Hello, darling, I hope I have not shocked you too much.”

From the fragrant scent of Rive Gauche and the gentle refined tones of the voice in my ear, it could only mean one thing, Lizzie had come back home for the weekend. I quickly turned to find her with a huge smile on her face, she hugged me tight and gave me a long sensitive kiss, before I caught my breath again.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you Lizzie, I didn’t know you were coming back today, nobody mentioned it to me.”

“It was a last-minute decision, I was speaking to Daddy this morning and he told me you would be here, and I just had to come to see you again.”

“ Let’s sit down, I have some news. First the good news, hot off the press, I’ve just put the phone down on a call from North TV, they want me to do more reports for them and I’ve told them that I would think about it and will let them know.”

“What’s there to think about, you were great last time, think what it could do for your career. Besides, I quite fancy having a TV personality as my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? Who told you that you could call me that? Actually, that brings me to my second bit of news which might shock you. I had a meeting at the hospital with the specialist and she told me that I had internal organs of a female as well as my male external appendages, and that I am what she called intersex.” Lizzie sat in stunned silence as I told her everything I knew about my condition and what the options were that were open to me.

“Oh you poor girl, what you propose to do about it?”

“I am not sure, at first I was quite upset at the thought of it all, but I had a chat with a good friend who calmed me down and I am now just taking things as they come.”

“If it would help, I think we need to check if your male parts are still in working order, hurry up before Daddy knows I’m home.” She teased as she led me by the hand upstairs to her room.

Lying next to her afterwards I was so calm and content, many of my cares had been brushed away.

“Nothing wrong there Jane, it seems you have the best of both worlds. Let’s get dressed and go and see Daddy, I haven’t even said hello to him yet, you have an evil influence on me. You must stay for the weekend while I am home and spend some time with me.”

“ I’ll need to go home to get some things, I am here to work and all I have with me are the things I was wearing and the bits and pieces I need for the day.”

“ Don’t worry about that, I have more than enough of everything for both of us, there is a lot of stuff in my wardrobe and drawers that has never been worn.”

I dressed in my work clothes and went back to the library leaving Lizzie to go and greet her father,.

“Jane, Lizzie told me she bumped into you on her way in, and she has suggested that you stay for the weekend, you must, I enjoy your company, and I’m sure that Lizzie would like to spend more time with you.” Charles said as he caught up with me later. Little did he know the full truth of what Lizzie and I had been up to, or maybe he did and was giving us permission to continue.

I rang home to Jenny to let her know that I would be away for the weekend and spending more time up at the Manor, to give me more time to think.

I had a really enjoyable weekend, Charles was a super host and treated me almost as one of the family. Lizzie on the other hand did anything but that, she was a wild and frequent lover. One thing I decided during my time there, whether I ended up as Jack or Jane, was that I wanted it to be with her, and even better, she wanted her future to be with me.

Monday morning I was happily driving back to town to go to The Post when I saw a large black Mercedes car come up fast and stick behind me, driving almost on my bumper, horn blaring, lights flashing. I sped up to try to get away from it, but that only created a gap for them to pull out to overtake me and then cut sharply across my path causing me to swerve off the road over a grassy verge into a hedge. I was hit in the face by the air bag inflating, felt a sharp pain in my chest and head, then there was blackness.

The next thing I knew was a bright light glaring above me when I blinked my eyes which was accompanied by a scream of “She’s awake, Nurse, Jane’s awake.” It took a while for me to come to my senses, get my eyes in focus and get used to the noise of a machine next to me, making regular beeping noises to which I was connected with a collection of wires. I realised that I was in a hospital bed with people fussing around me, but in the distance well out of the way of the medical team I noticed Lizzy and Jenny. After the doctors and nurses had checked me out to make sure that I was fully conscious and stable they left and the girls came over, gently hugged my shoulders and kissed me.

“ Thank God you’re alive, and seemingly no longer in danger.”Jenny was almost weeping, tears of joy misting her eyes.

“Don’t ever cause me to worry myself sick like that about you again, everyone was really concerned for you.” Lizzie added, “ You are lucky that someone saw what happened and had the sense to call for paramedics, who got to you just in time.”

“How long have I been here?”

“Three extremely long and worrying days, you’ve been unconscious for most of it.”

“I know that I have lots of aches and pains, did anything serious happen to me?”

“Just lost a bit of blood, a few cracked ribs, and a dislocated shoulder from wrenching at the wheel they reckon, but they were more concerned about a large gash and lump on your head in case there was brain damage. They are a lot happier about that now you are conscious and lucid, or at least as lucid as you ever are.” Jennie replied cheekily, obviously I was on the mend if she could make a joke about it.

“If somebody saw what happened, did they get any details of the other car.”

“They got the manufacturers badge, colour, and a part registration number, but nobody has been charged yet.” Lizzie answered guardedly, looking away at Jenny.

“What are you not telling me Lizzie?”

“Among other people, the details match William’s car, at the moment he is being interviewed by the police. He says it was not him and that he can prove that he was elsewhere at the time. They are checking it all out at the moment, but seem confident that it was him.”

“Oh God, Charles must be distraught, it looks like his son is not just a dissolute rake, an alcoholic, and a rapist, but is now capable of attempted murder.”

“Never worry about him and William,” snapped Jenny, “concentrate on and worry about yourself. You might be conscious but you are not out of the woods yet.”

Soon Mum made an appearance, all weepy-eyed when she saw me with cuts and bruises, my shoulder strapped up and a bandage covering my head, and she rushed to give me a big hug, only pulling away when she heard me wince with pain from my strapped ribs.

“Where’s Dad, did he not come with you?”

“I haven’t heard from him since I called him and told him about our weekend at the Manor. He was furious with me. ‘What on earth are you doing to my boy, you’ve always mollycoddled him and now look what he is doing, prancing around like some make-believe princess, you disgust me.’ he screamed before slamming the phone down. That was the last straw, I don’t care where he is and what he is doing, I’m finished with him.”

“Mum, when he knows the truth about my condition he will calm down, don’t do anything drastic about him until I’ve had a chance to talk to him.”

At that point the nurse and doctor came in to check on me, looked at the monitors and realised that I was getting stressed, “Ladies, we need to examine Jane, would you mind leaving us? Because of the previous seriousness of Jane’s condition we have let you stay as long as you wished, but now that you have seen her recover it may be better if you keep to normal visiting hours, which have just ended, Jane needs to rest.”

When they had gone, he turned to me smiling. “Sorry for butting in, but you looked like you needed a break. Just to let you know, Ms. Stewart, your endocrinologist, has had a word with us and told us about your condition. Unless you tell us otherwise we will be treating you as Jane Harrison, is that ok?”

“That’s fine Doctor, looking like this I think it is for the best.”

“Now that you are fully conscious and appear lucid, the police would like a word with you about the accident, I’ll put them off until the morning to let you have some rest. When they are here if they stress or upset you, just let the nurse know and we’ll ask them to leave.”

I had a restless night, trying to remember about the as much as I could about what had happened and if there was anything I could recall that would help the police.

In the morning I had two visitors, a detective and a uniformed policeman. They had obviously been briefed about my situation and were under instructions to refer to me as Jane Harrison and to treat me as such.

“Good morning Miss Harrison, I’m DC Cummings and this is PC Galton. We’re investigating your accident. We hope that you are feeling a bit better and are up to answering a few questions. Can you please tell us what you remember.”

“I can’t help you much, I remember a black Mercedes tailgating me, then speeding past, the driver giving me the finger, before swerving in front of me forcing me off the road.”

“Any more details of the car or driver that you can recall?”

“It all happened so fast, but she turned her head and glared at me as she roared past, I would recognise her again, I think.”

“Her? Are you sure that it was a woman?”

“Oh definitely, shoulder length dark hair, low-cut top.”

“You do know that we are questioning William Bolton, don’t you?”

“It definitely wasn’t him, I played it over in my mind time and time again last night, I’m certain that it was a woman.”

“That confirms his story, he has given us an alibi which is being checked out, but it looks like we will have to let him go now.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I do not like the guy, and he is guilty of a lot of things, but running me off the road is not one of them.”

I had a busy morning. First Ms. Stewart came into see me and assured me that my injuries made no difference to my condition and the treatment options she could give me.

“Thanks so much for sorting out my registration with the doctors here, it could have been very embarrassing, but they have been so understanding and kind.”

“Get yourself better, sort out how you want to go forward, and then make an appointment to see me, no desperate hurry.”

Lizzie was next to visit about lunchtime.

“It’s lovely to see you Lizzie, but shouldn’t you have gone back to London by now.?”

“There’s nothing important to drag me back urgently, or at least not as important as making sure that you are ok and recovering.”

“Please tell Charles that I have told the police that it was not William that caused the accident, it was definitely a woman driving the car, I’m sure that it will be a big weight off his mind.”

“If you’re sure, that is super news, despite everything I wouldn’t like to see him in prison for attempted murder. I’ve a suggestion for you, and before you object I have discussed it with your Mum and Jenny. When you are discharged and are recuperating you are welcome to stay at the Manor. In an earlier life Mrs.H trained as a nurse and she will be able to monitor your progress, as well as being around most of the time, it will save a lot of bother for your family.”

Mum and Jenny called in later and were pleased that I had decided to take up Lizzie’s offer and go to stay at Bolton Manor. Not wanting to add too much to Mrs.H’s duties, Mum had called Charles and asked if she could move in too to help out, and he was delighted that she would be spending more time there.

A few days later the doctors felt comfortable that I could be discharged, their earlier worries about my head injury and possible damage to my brain proved unfounded, and other than feeling tired and needing rest and painkillers here was no reason to keep me in, so Mum and I were soon settled in at Bolton Manor.

Mum fussed around me and generally made sure that I didn’t over-exert myself, Mrs.H looked after my medical needs, changing dressings, organising physiotherapy exercises for my shoulder, and looking after my medication, between the pair of them I hardly had to lift a finger. Much to my disappointment, Lizzie had to return to London to deal with some business matters, including a meeting with members of the College of Arms, the body responsible for maintaining the official records of the aristocratic families.

I settled into the routine and was soon bored out of my skull doing nothing, so I convinced them that a bit of time in the library researching the family archives would do no harm. I had already been through the early years, the political intrigues during the Wars of the Roses in the 1400s, the family changing sides three times depending who was in the ascendency and gaining more land and property each time. It was a similar story during the English Civil War in the 1600s and at the time of the restoration of the monarchy , one of Charles’ ancestors, was titled ‘Lord of the manor” along with the rights and privileges associated with it. In both of these conflicts, one of the consequences of being war heroes was a succession of torrid and unsavoury affairs, just the sort of lurid stories that would delight Mike my editor at The Post.

The family’s real rise up the ranks came with the Napoleonic Wars in the early 1800s. For his bravery at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805 where he captained a ship which captured or sank three French vessels, Henry Bolton was rewarded with the Barony. His son Arthur outdid his fathers exploits and for leading several decisive charges by his company of hussars at the Battle of Waterloo which finally put an end to Bonaparte’s ambitions of expansion he was granted an Earldom and the family at last became established as the local aristocracy. Their tales of ‘derring-do’ would be another attractive article for the serialisation of the book in The Post.

As is often the case, the ambition and drive of a successful generation led to a hedonistic life of luxury, dissolute behaviour, and sexual excesses by their descendants, culminating in the major scandal involving who Charles had told me was his grandfather, but was in fact a great-uncle, also called Charles, in the 1920s which led to the title of Earl being taken from the family.

Lord Charles Bolton led a life of debauchery and excess, including regular visits to ‘Molly-houses’, which were in a way an early forerunner of gay clubs and bars, but a lot more sordid. Most of the Molly-houses were not much more than glorified brothels where male prostitutes, many of whom were often dressed and made up as women, plied their trade.. Molly-houses had been quite common in the late 1800s when the veneer of Victorian respectability hid an underworld of crime and prostitution, both male and female, but faded away somewhat in the early 20th century before making a comeback in the glory years after the First World War.

Many of the customers were outwardly respectable family men and were just finding some relief in the casual dalliances the places offered. However, Charles Bolton did not fit into the category of a casual visitor, he was one of the resident ‘girls’ with an insatiable sexual appetite, and more often than not appeared in public as a woman. In the high society of London he was well known for his activities and the entitled classes closed ranks and kept the knowledge within their social circles. However, Charles was not content with that and organised several gay orgies at Bolton Manor. In the more conservative rural area of the Manor these excesses did not go down well, it became common knowledge and he was exposed by the local press, the forerunner of The Post.

As a member of The House of Lords, public knowledge of his conduct was just too much of an embarrassment for the establishment, and appeals were made to the King to have him stripped of his Earldom, which were duly granted. He was allowed to retain the lower rank of Baron however, which on his death without an heir a few years later was passed to his sister, Margaret, Charles’ mother. I thought that this was the story Mike was looking for, particularly as most of the details would already be in The Post’s archives. However how Charles would react to me exposing the skeletons in his family cupboard worried me, I did not want to fall out with him.

I now had the outline of the book and soon settled down to the hard work of putting flesh on the bones, not just from the family archives, but looking up a lot of online background material too, It was turning into a hard long slog.

“Hello Jane, it’s DC Cummings, would it be possible for you to come in to see us?”

“It’s a bit difficult my shoulder is still too stiff to drive safely and after the accident I have lost my confidence a bit.”

“ Not a problem I will send a car for you with PC Harvey Galton that was with me at the hospital, is an hour from now ok for you?”

Apart from when we passed the scene of my accident, which brought back a few of the horrors of what had happened I was quite relaxed by the time we reached police headquarters to be met by DC Cummings.

“Good to see you up and about Jane. We would like your help. We have tried to trace the car that forced you off the road and have eliminated most of those with similar part registrations. The ANPR cameras picked up three potential cars that were on that road round about the time of your accident and we have a likely suspect. Please have a look at these photos of car owners and drivers and some other general images from our records, and tell me if you recognise any of them.” He passed me a folio of about 50 photos, most of which I ruled out immediately as either too young or too old, I soon settled on one particular photo, and passed the folio back to him, “That’s her, I’m certain.”

“Would you be prepared to testify in court that you are sure that she is the driver you saw?”

“Of course, that is definitely her. Am I allowed to know if she is your suspect and be told who it is?”

“We are interviewing her as we speak but she is denying everything. Does the name Amanda Edwards mean anything to you?”

“Yes it does, I’ve never met her, but she is the finance director and company secretary with Acumen Developments.”

“Thanks for that Jane, we now have enough to push her a lot harder and will probably be charging her with attempted murder later today, and we can most likely add conspiracy to murder to the charges facing Ridgeley.”

“But why should she do that, as I said I know of her but we have never met?”

“While you have been closeted away in the Manor a lot has happened. Since you broke your story, most of Acumen’s contracts have been cancelled or put on hold, and nobody wants to be associated with them or is letting them bid for new work. The company is effectively heading for bankruptcy and the luxury lifestyle of their senior people is going down the pan. On top of that, her and Ridgeley had a bit of a thing going on, and she has visited him in prison where he is on remand, probably to arrange how to get their revenge on you. If I were you I would be extremely careful, I’m sure that Acumen are not the only ones in that boat and that there are other people out there extremely angry with you.”

To be continued.

My apologies to those of you that have been patiently waiting for the further chapters of ‘All For A Story’. This has been a difficult year for me medically and personally, and writing has not been a priority. However things are now almost back on an even keel.
I hope that you can, and will, pick up on the story again, but I have to admit that even I had to re-visit some of the previous chapters to get my mind back into the story.
Best wishes
Gill x

The suggestion from DC Cummings that there may be others out for revenge on me for exposing the widespread corruption at the council from construction companies seeking major contracts gave me cause for concern. I could easily hide away at Bolton Manor until things calmed down, but that would be letting criminals rule my life. The alternative was to take them on.

Instead of taking me back to the Manor, I asked PC Galton to drop me off at The Post, where I went straight in to see Mike.

“Hi Jane sit down and I’ll arrange for some coffee. I heard that you have been in the wars, are you feeling any better now?”

“My shoulder is still stiff, and my ribs strapped up, but most of the cuts and bruises are fading. I’ve just been to see the police, they have someone in custody for driving me off the road, and there is a witness who will testify that it was deliberate, not just awful aggressive driving, so the charge is likely to be attempted murder. They suggested to me that there may be others out there looking for revenge on me. With your help I want to push a lot of the other companies possibly involved to come off the fence either publicly or privately to say that they have no personal grudge with me.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to run a story, I’ll write it, telling about my accident and the injuries I have suffered as an attack on the free press by a company that I have exposed as corrupt, and my fears that there are others likely to attack me. I’ll name the other companies which are under investigation, and we can then follow up with direct questions to all of them.”

“That’s not going to do a lot, they’ll just deny everything.”

“Very true, but it will make them realise that I am not taking this lying down and that if anything else happens to me the spotlight will turn on to them in detail.”

“The police will not be too happy at you naming names before they have charged anyone else.”

“We’ll just quote your unnamed source at police headquarters as supplying the names of those under further investigation.”

“Ok, get on with it, but I insist that we put it in front of our lawyers before we publish anything.”

The rest of the day, I wrote, rewrote, and added to the article until finally I had enough for a full front-page story. Mike did a bit of editing where he felt I had gone a bit over the top, passed it on to our legal team, who gave it the ok, and the presses were all set up for running in the next day’s early edition. Feeling a lot more confident, now that I was more in control, I phoned Jenny to ask her to pick me up to take me back to the Manor. While waiting for her to collect me, I phoned Marshall to let him and Mrs.H know that there would be an extra place for dinner.

Rather than sending Marshall out to greet us, we found Mum and Charles at the front door waiting for us.

“Hello again Jenny, I’m glad you are able to join us for dinner, and if you wish you are more than welcome to stay the night, I’m sure that you, your mum, and Jane, have a lot to talk about.” Charles cheerily welcomed us, turning to smile at Mum.

Over dinner I updated them all on the events of my day, the discussions at the police station, my article in tomorrows paper, and how I was determined to get on with my life without worrying about any of the people I’d upset.

“I need to tell you both,” Jenny looked at Mum and I. “I bumped into Dad today in town. He’s still very angry with you Mum, but he would like to meet with Jane, or Jack as he insisted the name was. I said that I would let you know, but it was up to you what you wanted to do about it.”

“I told you earlier that I am determined to face my demons, and that includes him, I’ll meet with him, we need to sort this out one way or the other.”

I made a couple of phone calls and then arranged to meet him the next day by the lake in the park, a public area where I would feel safer with him.

He was there before me, and was totally surprised when I approached and sat next to him.

“Hi Dad.”

“Hello Jack, it’s been a while and a lot has happened since.”

“Please call me Jane, everybody else does now.”

“ I can’t, you’ll always be Jack to me. I don’t know what’s driven you to turn out like this, but whatever other people think, I am not happy with how you are choosing to live.”

“At first it was a choice to go undercover to get a story but, as I am sure Jenny told you, it is no longer a simple choice, there are serious medical issues that need resolving.”

“That’s a load of bull, you’ve gone in this direction in your life willingly, it’s your choice, led on by Jenny and your mother, but don’t expect me to take any of the blame for it.”

“Just hold on a minute. It’s your genes and Mum’s genes that defined me, made me what I am, for better or for worse. There is obviously something passed down from you or Mum or a combination of both of you that didn’t work out right, I’m blameless in all this, you are the one who should feel guilty about how I have turned out.” I shouted back at him, becoming more and more angry.

His face turned red, looking like he was about to explode, he slapped my face hard, grabbed my shoulders and started to shake me. “You cheeky little pervert,” he screamed, ”you make me ashamed to be your father, I want nothing more to do with you.”

“Fine by me, it must make a change to be abusing me rather than Mum, she has put up with your temper for years, she might take it but I certainly won’t.”

That incensed him even more and he hit me again, on my already sore ribs which caused a sharp stab of pain, and was about to go again when his arm was grabbed from behind and he turned to find PC Galton who had been hiding in nearby bushes. “That’s enough, I think that you had better come with me sir, you are under arrest for common assault. Jane, please ask you colleague out in the boat on the lake to send me the photos he has been taking to use as evidence in our prosecution.”

Dad, still incensed with me, lashed out at PC Galton, hitting him in his stomach and winding him, freed himself and fled. When he got his breath back the PC was immediately on his walkie-talkie, advising colleagues to cover the few exits from the park in that direction and five minutes later we heard that he had been caught again. Now as well as the charge against him for hitting me, he faced the more serious offences of assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest.

Simon, one of the photographers at The Post rowed ashore and showed me the photos he had taken. He had zoomed right in to us and they clearly showed the anger on my father’s face and what he had done to me.

“Some good shots there Simon, it’s a shame that we won’t be using them in The Post, this is not a story that I will be running. Please sent them on to PC Galton and then hide them away somewhere in your archives.”

“I’ve recorded what he said to you on the open phone line to me and put a copy on your mailbox if you need to use it in any civil action against him, and have kept a copy as backup evidence.”

Thanks for your help and stopping him inflicting any more damage on me, Harvey.” I thanked the young policeman before setting off, first to see Jenny to let her see and hear what had happened and then back to The Manor to go through it again with Mum.

Charles, Mum and I were in the orangery relaxing with tea and cakes as I told them about my meeting with my father, showed them the photos and played the recording.

“He Sounds like a total idiot, and a violent one at that, I don’t know how you managed to put up with him for so long Nell, you deserve better than that.” I noticed that Charles was now using the familiar version of Mum’s name, he had always used Ellen up until then.

“He was ok most of the time, but every now and then something would trigger things off and he could be quite nasty, lots of name-calling and insults but very rarely did it turn violent, I was surprised at how he turned on you today Jane.”

“My dear Nell, after today he is going to be even angrier and upset, I suggest that you stay here until you feel it’s safe to go back home, and that goes for you too Jane.”

“Thank you so much Charles that’s very kind of you, let’s see how it goes, but I have a condition. We are all creating a lot of extra work for Mrs.H, I insist that you let me help her out to give her more time to relax without having to worry about things to be done for us. I have never been one for sitting around idly all day and like to keep myself busy and would prefer to make myself useful.”

Charles gave her a look as if to say that he was surprised and that it was not the done thing to mix with the staff too much, but kept his thoughts to himself, merely replying “fine by me, my dear, if that’s what you want to do.”

I later heard that after the morning copy of The Post hit the streets, the phone to Mike’s office was red hot with calls from people we had named, their lawyers, and the police, all complaining about allegations being made public while investigations were still taking place. Later in the day, after the initial shockwave had subsided, there were more calls from some of the companies asking for the opportunity to put their side of the story, which Mike agreed to before calling me to come in the office the following day to follow up on his conversations.

I was very busy for the next few days pulling it all together .Some of the companies were very belligerent denying the allegations and insisting on an apology, but after learning that their actions had been told to the police by John Chisholm most of them calmed down and tried to draw a picture of being drawn into it all by corrupt officials who threatened to to put a block on their projects unless palms were greased. Others admitted their involvement but tried to mitigate it by naming not only the council officers, but some of the local politicians and members of the council too, not just in our town but also others in the surrounding counties. To try to smooth everything with the police, all the information we gathered was passed to them to investigate and for the next few days our reports in The Post were very non-specific to give them time to interview people before we published more of our findings.

I was glad when the weekend arrived, a chance to unwind after all the turmoil and pressure of the last few days. We were sitting having a relaxing glass of wine when Lizzie came bounding in, back from her trip to London, in a state of high excitement.

“Calm down Lizzie, have a drink and tell us what has got you so excited.” Her father told her as he gave her a welcoming hug.”

“Not yet, I want to think about what I am going to say, you all go first and tell me what’s been happening here, I’ll go later.”

“I don’t know where to start, there has been so much gone on.” I told her about the police charging Amanda Edwards with running me off the road as attempted murder, about meeting my father and him assaulting and insulting me leading to his arrest, and about all the latest developments regarding the corruption scandal.

“Wow, you have been busy, it’s a bit like a re-run of All The President’s Men, you’re peeling back the layers one by one.”

“It’ has all happened a lot nearer to home than that,” Charles added. “You young ladies will not remember this story but In the 1960s and early 1970s there was a major council corruption scandal up in the North East of England. T Dan Smith, the leader of Newcastle City Council and a general Mr. Fix-it on the wide scale development going on up there at the time was too closely tied up with a major Architect/Developer, John Poulson, and they spread a web of corruption throughout the region,. It led to their imprisonment and the bringing down of many local councillors and even a government cabinet minister. Jane’s case has a lot of similarities, but I think that the Poulson Affair, as it was known, was on a much larger scale.”

“Anyway, what’s your news that has got you in such a tizzy?” he asked Lizzie.

“As you know, I had a meeting with the Heralds at the College of Arms and they confirmed that the records show that as long as you prove that William is not your son, that your titles, will pass on to me.”

“That’s wonderful news Lizzie, I’m so glad for you, and happy that our lineage will be secure in your safe hands.”

“I’ll make you even more glad. As a side issue they told me that when the Earldom was taken from your great-uncle, it was not totally withdrawn from the family, but just from him, just suspended, in their words, ‘Until such time as there is a fit-and-proper heir in place worthy of the honours, rights and privileges associated with such high office.’ They looked up your heritage, how you have conducted the duties asked of you, and your success in the City and they confirmed, again in their words, ‘They will petition the Lord Chancellor, her Majesty and Parliament on your behalf to have the Earldom re-instated to you.’, which is their bureaucratic speak for it’s almost certainly going to happen. All-in-all a good days work, don’t you think? It may take a while to be made official, but I think that you should get Marshall to find the ermine-trimmed ceremonial robes and get them fit for use again, but first crack open a bottle or two of the finest champagne you have in the cellar.”

I was surprised to see the normally reserved stiff-upper-lipped Charles shed tears of happiness as he hugged his daughter. Afterwards Mum and the girls went off to get ready for dinner while I gave Charles a briefing on what I had found in the family archives about his great-uncle.

“ I know all about that story Jane, my mother gave me all the gory details when I was old enough to understand, but it is something that the family don’t shout about. That reminds me Jane, something I noticed on the recording of your talk with your father. Why did he call you Jack and what dd he mean calling you a pervert?”

I flushed with embarrassment, as much from hiding the truth from him as to my situation, and blushingly told him the story from when I was first asked to help by Darren, how it had just grown from there until eventually my discovery that I was intersex. I also told him that myAunt was rely my Mum and Jenny my sister.

“Hmm.” he said drawing me closer into a hug, “Who am I to condemn you, given the family history of great-uncle Charles, but at least you have a bloody good excuse for it all. As far as I am concerned I see you as an attractive and confident young lady, you are, and to me always will be, Jane, if you ever turn up here as Jack I will be most disappointed.”

“I apologise for misleading you all this time, but I was digging a hole for myself and kept getting deeper and deeper into it.”

“Think nothing of it, totally understandable in the circumstances, I suppose. I assume Lizzie is aware, I’m not blind, I know that you two have been getting awfully close lately.”

“She’s known everything since the night William assaulted Jenny and is quite comfortable with it.”

“Now go and get changed for dinner, the other ladies are well ahead of you, wear something nice, I am celebrating tonight.”

The evening was enjoyed by all, Mrs.H did us proud with a glorious meal and Marshall raided the wine cellar for some excellent vintage reserves. The news for Charles and Lizzie put everyone in a good mood.

“As was becoming normal when she was at home, Lizzie and I got together later for a bit of ‘us time’, but we were now using her room, it was more discreet than mine, which was sandwiched between Mum ’s and Jenny’s.

As we lay there afterwards, I told her that her father now knew all about me.

“Poor Daddy, first it was the despicable behaviour of William, followed by me coming out to him, then your accident, which really hit him hard, the shock of being told that he will probably soon be an earl, and now discovering that his favourite protégée girl is actually a boy. I’m not sure how many more shocks he can take, He is the typical phlegmatic Englishman, stiff upper lip and all that, it’s hard to tell what he is actually feeling and thinking. I think we need to treat him gently and calmly for the present, no more sudden surprises. Maybe we ought to cool our relationship for a while.”

“That would be a shame, I’m fairly sure he knows all about us already, but if that’s how you want to play it, how about a swan song first?”

I was up early the next morning to get back to my own room when I saw Mum leave Charles’ room to go back to her own too. Neither of us really wanted to explain anything so we just gave each other silly grins and a big hug and, blushing, went back to our rooms.

Later, after breakfast, Mum and I went for a walk in the gardens and found a seat down by the river.

“Tell me it’s none of my business if you wish, but are you and Charles now in some sort of relationship or was last night just a one-off in the heat of the moment after the evening’s excitement?”

“Let’s just say that it was not the first time. Life is complicated at the moment, the situation with your father needs sorting out. The last thing I want is any scandal with Charles being named in a divorce case. Apart from anything else I wouldn’t like to ruin his chances of getting his earldom back because of a scandal. Anyway what about you and Lizzie, I’ve heard you padding about in the corridor going back to your room a few mornings, is it getting serious with you two?”

‘As you said, life is complicated. I need to get my gender confusion issue sorted out before anything else, although Lizzie says she will be happy with me whichever way it turns out.”

“Have you decided yet what you are going to do, have you any more appointments with Ms Stewart?”

“Unless something medical interferes with my plans, I will probably stay as Jane, I am comfortable as a woman, I am enjoying a rich and fulfilling life, and am probably the happiest and most successful that I’ve been for years. Would that be a problem for you, could you live with the loss of Jack?”

“In some ways yes I would have preferred that none of this ever happened, but it has and it’s no use trying to fight it. I’m your mother, if you are happy, I’m happy.”

“You know what Mum, I’ve been surprised at how easily you have all taken it. You, Jenny, Lizzie , Charles, Jenny’s friends and even Caroline who I have only known for a few weeks, have all been wonderful and just accepted it as if it’s an everyday occurrence. Come on let’s get back to the others before I start crying.”

Now everything was out in the open and there was no need for pussyfooting about regarding our relationships, I decided that I needed to help Jenny get into the same boat as the rest of us and had better come up with a plan about what I could do to kickstart a relationship for her.

Monday morning Lizzie went back to London, and before I became too engrossed in my research in the archive room, I left for The Post’s offices leaving Mum and Charles to develop their relationship.

“Your story last week went down really well with the police, it seemed to have flushed out a much bigger web of bribery and corruption than they had anticipated. They have increased the numbers on the investigative team and said to pass on their thanks for breaking the story.”

“Keep me informed if anything happens on the corruption front, otherwise I’ll get on with my work at Bolton Manor on the family history.”

While I was in town I decided to give Graham at North TV a call to see if we could meet up to discuss his suggestion that I agree to do more exposé stories for them and arranged to meet in a local pub for lunch, nothing exotic or expensive just basic bar food. When I arrived he was already seated at a table, but rose to give me a hug and a friendly welcome kiss.

“It’s good to see you again Jane, I’m glad that you are considering my offer. I remembered that you quite liked the New Zealand Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc last time, so I’ve ordered a bottle, unless you prefer something else. It should go with most things on the menu and dailies board, so take your pick.”

“Thanks Mike, the wine will do fine. I‘ve thought about doing more programmes with you and am very interested, if the offer is still on the table. However I am a bit busy at the moment, and don’t have the time to build the stories myself, but if you are happy for your researchers to do all the donkey work, I can finish the scripts off to suit my style and personality and present the story. Later, when things have calmed down, I would like to build the stories myself, if that’s ok.”

“To be honest, that’s what I expected you to say and totally agree with that approach, when the corruption scandal is wrapped up you should have a lot more freedom to put in much more time.with us.”

“Ok, if you want to run an update on the council corruption, The Post is doing follow-ups regularly and I can talk to your researchers to fill in the missing gaps. If you have another story you want to have a go at first, that’s fine too.”

“Actually we are already working on an exposé on abuse at a local church children’s home, and that will probably be the first we go for. The corruption scandal is in a bit of a a lull at the moment while the police are continuing their investigation, but I would like to do an interview with you about the attempt on your life and the assault on press free-speech. The weekends are usually a bit quiet apart from the sports news, can you come in tomorrow to talk to my researchers so they can pull a script together, and on Saturday morning we’ll record the interview.”

“That sounds good. Can I ask a favour? My cousin and Auntie were so excited and impressed with the last programme, can I bring them with me so that they can see how it is all pulled together.”

“ Of course you can, one of the team can look after them when you are busy and explain everything that is going on, and afterwards we can all go out for a drink and something to eat.”

“They’ll really enjoy that, I’ll sort it out with them and confirm it back to you tomorrow.”

Back at the Manor, I took Mum and Jenny into the orangery for a family chat. “I’ve been to see North TV again and have agreed to front some more programmes with them and I’m going in to record an interview on Saturday.”

Jenny could hardly contain herself. “That’s brilliant I’m so jealous, wait till I tell the girls.”

“You haven’t heard the best bit yet Jen, would you like to come in with me and watch the show being recorded.That includes you too Mum, and Graham the director will take us all out for a drink and something to eat afterwards.”

“Wow Jane, is Graham that the gorgeous hunk you told us about before? Just try and stop me, Mum you just have to come too.” She was beaming like The Cheshire Cat, and flushed with excitement, I hadn’t seen her like this for a few years since I went with her and the girls to a concert by her favourite boy-band at the time.

“If it’s all agreed I am going to the studio tomorrow to have a preliminary chat, I’ll let Graham know and he can make the arrangements.”

I arrived at the studios mid-morning and was introduced to Fiona, the researcher that I would be working with in future, to run through the the story of my accident and the previous scary tailgating incidents and who was responsible. It was really only to be a short news bulletin filler and an intro to my future involvement with North TV, but the question and answer session with Fizz, as she liked to be called, stretched out for a couple of hours.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but did anyone take photos of you with your injuries and cuts and bruises, It always adds a bit of drama to a story.”

“Sure Fizz, the police took a lot of photos of me, and the damage to my car and the hedge I crashed into, I’ll email a selection over to you and you can pick the ones that you think suit your storyline best.”

Fizz did a good job preparing the script and when we all turned up on Saturday morning Fizz Graham and the crew were ready and waiting for us. Mum was fascinated by the amount of technical gear and size of the crew that were needed for a short interview, but Jenny was more fascinated by Graham, she could hardly take her eyes off him, and he really turned the charm on for her. That was the reaction I was hoping for, Mum seemed to be getting on well with Charles, and Lizzie and I were going strong, I was worried that Jenny would start to feel a bit of a spare part, but I had high hopes for Jenny and Graham.
The interview went without any major hitches after a couple of rehearsals, I had to alter very little of what Fizz had prepared, she had captured my way of expressing myself quite well and I was looking forward to working with her again on the next show. It was still only early afternoon and Graham said that they would try to get it ready for broadcast that evening, but if not it would be Sunday,

Afterwards, as promised, Graham took the three of us to a local hotel for an afternoon cream tea of cakes, sandwiches, cold meat, and a bottle of Prosecco. I had forewarned Mum to make sure that Jenny and Graham sat next to each other, and that it didn’t really matter which one of us sat next to Jenny, as her and Graham seemed to be deep in a conversation of their own.

As we left, Graham gave Mum a light hug and commended her on bringing up two delightful, beautiful daughters, gave me a longer hug, and Jenny an even longer one with a kiss on the cheek.

Jenny was bubbly and full of life on the drive home and couldn’t stop talking about Graham.
“Are you seeing him again Jen?” I asked her, knowing what the answer would be.”

“He asked me to go out for a drink with him later in the week, just wait until I tell Babs and the others they’ll be made up for me, it’s a while since I’ve been out with anybody.”

“You set that up deliberately, didn’t you Jane, he seems a nice fellow, let’s hope he doesn’t mess her about.” Mum asked me with a twinkle in her eye when we were sitting later in the orangery.

“You never know Mum, we could all be heading for a triple wedding next year.” which caused a fit of giggles from both of us.

To be continued.

While waiting for the court cases to develop, I continued to work on my book telling the history of the Bolton Family, including but playing down the more salacious affairs and soon had it ready for publication. Although the original intention agreed with Charles and Lizzie was that it would be primarily be as a family record and for issue to friends, colleagues and visitors to the Manor, Charles decided after reading it through and approving what I had written that it deserved a wider audience and should be commercially available. He called up a few old friends and contacts in the book trade and soon it was proof-read, edited, printed and published, widely stocked and sold, particularly in bookstores in the county, where people knew about the Manor and the Bolton family. It was never going to be on the best seller lists, but had a steady stream of sales and generated a small but steady income, Charles’ share of the proceeds paying for what it had cost him to employ me to write it.

In one of my meetings with Charles, I told him that I was intrigued with the involvement of the 1st Baron and the 1st Earl at Trafalgar and Waterloo, and would like to write further books based on their heroics. However rather than a dry relating of history, I had ideas for developing the stories into fiction novels interweaving some personal, heroic adventure, and romantic elements on top of their military careers, appealing to a much wider readership.

“I’ve no problem with that, you can write it anyway without my permission as long as it is clearly a work of fiction. I really liked the style of your writing of the family history, you even made a lot of the more mundane elements of our family life sound interesting, and I look forward to a bit of an adventure romp in the more exciting periods of the family history. If you want to work from here so that you have easy access to the records, I will be glad of your company.”

As promised, The Post serialised extracts from the book drip-feeding it over several editions, especially the more adventurous and salacious stories that I had dug up. Mike decided to make a big feature of the local story of Great-Uncle Charles’ activities as a cross-dressing prostitute and the orgies held at the Manor which would appeal to the more lurid interests of many of our readers. I returned to work at The Post, although on a freelance basis which meant that they used me when they needed me and I was able to fit my time there along with my other interests at TV North and Bolton Manor.

Obviously when the book came out, and even more so after The Post’s feature on it, I was in demand as the author to appear on chat shows and soon became a bit of a local TV celebrity, which tied in with my burgeoning career at North TV.

I had now been able to spend more time at North TV, starting off with the story Fizz had researched about physical and sexual abuse at a Church-run children’s home. This was a harrowing tale that tugged at the heartstrings with children as young as 6 or 7 being subject to regular sexual, physical and verbal abuse, being treated by the so-called care staff worse than the animals in the local RSPCA Dog and Cat shelter. The trusting and inexperienced local council social services officers who theoretically had a duty of care oversight responsibility had the wool pulled over their eyes by the cynical manipulative staff and the church authorities who owned and managed the place. When I read the script Fizz and her team had prepared with all the details, I was moved to tears and at the end of the filming for the broadcast it was easy to weep for the cameras.

“Cut” shouted Mike, “Lets get this cleaned up and ready to go out. You were brilliant Jane you had real emotion in your voice, mixtures of dismay, anger, and disgust, for a change with presenters you seemed genuinely affected by the report. We need to sit down and discuss future issues, hopefully not quite as heart-string pulling as that, and sort something out for you.”

“Thank you Mike, I would like to say that I enjoyed doing that, but I can’t, even though I had been through the script several times at rehearsals, I felt as though I was hearing it for the first time and the longer the recording went on the more it got to me. Hopefully any future episodes will be easier for me to deal with. Anyway, to move onto something a bit more cheerful, how are you getting on with Jenny? I’ve not really had the chance to have a good talk to her, between coming here, working at The Post, staying over at Bolton Manor, and her going out with you.”

Rather than the brash confident TV director as he usually presented himself, Mike became quiet and shy. “She’s a great girl, I really like her a lot, but it is still early days yet, let’s wait and see how it goes on. Thanks for setting us up to meet each other Jane, and don’t try and pretend that it was just an innocent coincidence that we ended up together.”

I gave him a big smile, “I haven’t heard any complaints about it from either Jen or you, but I guess I shouldn’t be looking for a new hat yet then.”

I had agreed with North TV that the details of any reports I fronted or prepared for them would be available to The Post and the following morning a reworked version of the programme script was a front-page feature in the Post, with my byeline but with credits to the investigative team at North TV, specifically Fiona Marshall (Fizz). Rather than the council deciding to close down the home and disrupt the lives of the unfortunate children any more, all the staff were moved to other institutions where they could be individually monitored and their conduct assessed prior to decisions about their future, and a new team drafted in, along with a resident supervisor from Social Services. The children would always bear the scars of their experiences there, but hopefully they would soon have some happy memories too to help the healing process.

The report was well received by the viewing public who were desperate for more information on the staff involved and between us Fizz and I compiled a follow-up which was broadcast a week later. The station bosses were delighted at the response and the viewing figures leading to a contract for me to present a regular series’s and soon I was spending as much time at the TV station as I was at The Post.

A few weeks later.,I had a follow-up appointment with Ms.Shipley the endocrinologist to check on how my condition was developing. After an initial discussion as to how I was adjusting to the changes happening to my body, she gave me a thorough physical examination and sent me for another scan, before discussing it further with me.

“You seem to be continuing to feminise, your breasts have gone up in size and you are definitely developing a fleshier bottom, but you probably have already noticed that. I am more interested and intrigued with what is happening to you inside your body. Your ovaries are continuing to develop and your uterus is swelling, your body seems to be becoming more and more female. Are you having problems with erections and having sex?”

"I’m still managing once I get going, but it seems to be taking a lot more effort to become erect and then climax.”

“I suggest then that this may be the time for you to start planning for the future and provide a semen sample for us to retain in case you ever want or need it. If you feel up to it today, it might be best to get started right away.”

Afterwards, I found a quiet spot to sit and reflect on what was happening to me, and what my feelings were about it. As I had told my Mum, I was comfortable and happier living as a woman for the past few months and was readily accepted by everyone who knew. Lizzie was happy however I turned out, but there was a nagging doubt with me wondering whether to accept what seemed to be inevitable or take drastic action to stop it all and try to live my life as Jack again. I wanted to eventually marry Lizzie and have children, partly to continue her family dynasty, but mainly as a symbol of love between us. I decided that when she was up at the Manor at the weekend that we needed to have a serious discussion about our futures.

The build up of the case against all the people involved in the corruption scandal was dragging out, every time the police looked into another allegation it opened up a new can of worms, and I was told that it could take months to get to a position to go to court. Other than progress reports based on whatever the police felt they could release to us for publication the story went quiet in The Post.

However the prosecution of Amanda Edwards and Andrew Ridgeley for attempted murder and conspiracy to murder me was a much easier case to prove.The police had a witness who would testify that in their opinion it was not lack of control by the BMW driver but a deliberate attempt to force me off the road. ANPR cameras proved that Amanda Edwards was on the road at the time of the incident but the main pieces of evidence were that tracks on the road verge where she had pulled in front of me matched the tyres on her BMW. And t stupidly she had forgotten to wipe her dash-cam which clearly showed her tailgating me, zooming past me, turning sharply and braking suddenly. Texts between her and Ridgeley proved that he was involved in encouraging her to carry out the attempt on my life, and even congratulated her when they thought she had killed me. Despite all this both pleaded ‘Not Guilty’ and the case had to go to trial.

That presented me with a problem in that, as I was being called to testify, I would have to appear in court and give my name under oath prior to giving evidence. My lawyer advised me that I could either appear and testify under my legal name of Jack Carter, appear as Jane but still under my legal name, or formally change my name to Jane Harrison, which is how all the police records of the case referred to me. I had already decided that as my body was continuing to feminise itself and that because of the book and my TV appearances, I was becoming widely known as Jane Harrison, it was the obvious thing to do to formally change my name. I decided to keep my Mum’s maiden name, partly to save confusion with my press and TV colleagues, but partly to distance myself from any future relationship with my father, but before I would allow my lawyer to put the process under way, I wanted discuss it with Mum, Lizzie, and Jenny.

Lizzie and Jenny were no problem, they both told me that their feelings for for me would not change, whatever name I went by. Jenny in particular understood why I wanted to use Mum’s maiden name, but I felt that Mum needed to be treated a bit more gently.

“I’ve recently had another examination by Ms. Shipley and it seems that my body is developing as more and more female, and it is becoming obvious that without significant medical intervention that is how I will end up. I have talked to Lizzie about it and I have all but decided to go with what my body seems to want to do.”

"You do what you think is best for you, I will always love you as my child, whether it is as a son or a daughter.”

“To try and make my life easier legally, I intend to change my name to Jane Harrison, keeping your maiden name, if that is ok with you. It’s what most people know me as now, and it breaks the link to my father. My lawyer has advised me that it is an easy process, and will be even easier for me because Ms. Shipley will certify that I have always been partly female and partly male, and if my body keeps developing as it has been that I will soon be physically more female than male too.”

“O course you can use my family name, I’m delighted that it is what you prefer. If I don’t end up with Charles I might try well go back to using it myself. Don’t worry about your future, there’s nothing wrong with being female. In my younger days it meant a second-class life, doing the lower-grade jobs or a life of domesticity, but nowadays women can do and be virtually anything they want to be. You are being very successful as a reporter and broadcaster, which proves my point, you can have a perfectly fulfilling life as Jane.”

As it turned out, the trial of Edwards and Ridgeley was a bit of a non-event, and I was not called as a witness so my worries about my name were not an issue. When faced with all the evidence and the way that the jury reacted to it, and the obvious scepticism they showed at the defence arguments, they changed their pleas halfway through the trial and admitted their guilt. The judge was quite critical of the defence barrister for bringing such a flimsy case to court and wasting everyone’s time. Although normally a guilty plea results in a reduced sentence, in this case the judge felt that there were no grounds for leniency and both received long custodial sentences.

During his interviews with the police, faced with the photographic and recording evidence against him, my father pleaded guilty to the charges of assaulting me and PC Galton. Although he had never been the most pleasant person, he had no criminal record, and showed genuine remorse in front of the magistrate.He was surprised and relieved to get only a suspended sentence along with a period of community service, with a warning that any misbehaviour, to anyone not just our family, would result in a prison sentence. The magistrate also formalised the restraining order I had previously arranged forbidding him to make contact with the three of us, coming within a mile of our house and Jenny’s flat or approaching us in public places.

Now that I was feeling that any further violence against me was unlikely, I decided to return to sharing the flat with Jenny, and Mum returned home. After what she termed,’a whirlwind romance with Charles, she wanted time to clear her head and decide what to do about my father and clarify exactly what her feelings were for Charles.

“Although I no longer have strong feelings for your father, I am glad that he only received a suspended sentence and didn’t face time in jail. However we were already having problems, arguing all the time and he often stormed out coming home in the early hours half-drunk, but him assaulting you was the last straw. I’m going to have a few weeks to let it all settle and, unless there’s a miracle somewhere, will start divorce proceedings, it is so much easier now, not having to prove misconduct, or have mutual consent, and should go through quite quickly. Jenny has already cut ties with him, I never knew but a couple of times when she was younger he tried to get into bed with her for sex, but she managed to fight him off and get him to leave her alone, if I had known he would have been gone from our lives a long time ago. What you decide to do is up to you, but I think that it is obvious that he is never going to accept you as Jane, and that you will be better off without him.

“You’re right Mum, I don’t think that I will ever be comfortable in his company again, and can’t see any future relationship with him. Personally I think that you should start divorce proceedings, but it’s your life and your decision.”

“It’s made a lot more difficult due to my confused feelings for Charles. it was so easy to get carried away with the grandeur of life at Bolton Manor and with Charles’ natural charm, but we are from different worlds, more so when he gets the Earldom back, I’m not sure how I would fit into it all. Besides, nothing is going any further on that front until the divorce goes through, if it does go ahead, I don’t want him dragged into any arguments in court, which could affect his good name and what happens to his title claim.”

At the weekend I arranged to spend some time at Bolton Manor with Lizzie. When I got there Lizzie had not yet arrived from London but I was cheerily greeted in his study by Charles.

“Hello again my dear, just because you finished the book, and it was excellent too, there is no need to be a stranger. Let’s get Marshall to arrange a drink for you, I would like a chat before Lizzie interrupts us. You have helped to get a lot of issues with my family sorted out and will always be welcome here, regardless of whether you and Lizzie continue your relationship. This is a strange situation, but I need your advice. I really like Nell, your mum, and at our stage in life you have to grab the opportunity when it presents itself. Do you think that it will be well received if I asked her to move in here with me and in due course arrange to get married?”

“I’m sure that she feels the same but is extremely worried that any relationship with you would come up in the divorce proceedings with my father, and your reputation and standing would be damaged. It may be best to wait a while and let her sort things out.”

“My reputation is of little consequence once the reinstatement of the earldom is complete. Although I still have a lot of financial interests from my former work in The City, I have no professional or legal responsibilities that would be compromised or suffer embarrassment. As regards my personal reputation with what you would call my fellow aristocrats, half of them are divorced and remarried, and most of the others are having affairs, it could actually help my standing with some of them to know that there is life in this old dog yet.” He burst into a grin and chuckle at what he had just said.

“Give her a couple of weeks before you approach her about it, at the moment she is a bit confused and needs a bit of a break to sort herself out
Since you have mentioned it what is the situation with your title claim, I know that the bureaucratic wheels grind ever so slowly and changes don’t happen overnight but have you had any ‘nods and winks’ about it?”

“The ‘nods and winks’, as you so quaintly put it, say that an announcement is imminent and we will soon have a celebration on our hands. You will be the first to know outside the family, then Nell, you, and Jenny must come and celebrate with Lizzie and me. That might be a good time to make my proposal to her.”

"What about William, is he still banished from the family? If it is not going to seem like you are rubbing his nose in it, he is family, and he should be there too.”

“We’ve had the results of the DNA tests which have confirmed that he is not of my bloodline, so he will not inherit the titles and estate. However we have spoken by telephone recently and he has calmed down, we had a quite civil conversation. I’ve arranged to meet him down in London to confirm if he is showing any contrition for what he did to Jenny, or if he is continuing with his devil-may-care dissolute lifestyle. Despite his bad behaviour, I don’t want to totally cut him off unless I have to, he may not be my biological child but he was born and raised here and I will always look on him as a son.”

“Between my father and your son, sometimes families are more bother than they are worth, but when it comes to the crunch they are family. Having said that, some issues with my father, that I would rather not discuss, mean that a future close relationship between us is extremely unlikely“

Our chat was interrupted when Lizzy arrived and her exuberance lightened the conversation to more general subjects while we got ready for dinner. It was not the extravagant dinner that Charles had arranged for us all previously, just a cosy normal family meal, salmon fillets, roast potatoes and vegetables with a bottle of non-vintage but excellent Viognier followed by a light blackberry and lemon fool.

Over gin and whiskey in the Orangery, Charles got Lizzie up to date on the situations with the title and his conversations with William.

“Treat him gently Daddy, he must be so frustrated that the titles will not pass to him, and indeed that he will have no title at all. Although he can be an absolute embarrassment he is still my brother and if he will change his behaviour and how he treats people, particularly women, I will be quite happy to work with him on running the estate in the future.

"He doesn’t know it but his biological father is an Earl too, casual relationships were not unusual at country house weekends at the time, we all had too much time on our hands and too much money, with no sense of responsibility. If he behaves himself I might let him know, and if t is what he wants he can approach them to see if one of their minor titles, or even just a lordship can be granted to him.”

Although William was boorish and had tried to rape Jenny, I had a degree of sympathy for him. He had been brought up believing that his future was assured and that once all his wild oats had been sown he could settle down to a life of respectability and respect, but by his own actions his life had now been turned upside down. I was glad that Charles and Lizzie were giving him an opportunity to be welcomed back into the fold, if he was prepared to change his lifestyle and attitudes, but he had yet to prove himself.

To be continued.

I was extremely nervous going to my next appointment with Dr. Shipley. The last few times Lizzie and I had got together I had been unable to get an erection, however Lizzie was more than satisfied with girl-on-girl activity. I was worried that I was getting to the point of having to make a major decision.

After examining me and looking at the results of yet another scan, I was sat facing the doctor looking at the neutral expression on her face.

“Jane, as you have told me, you are now effectively impotent, your penis is flacid and totally unresponsive. The scan shows me that you have developed virtually normal female internal organs and your ovaries seem to have started producing ova. If your body reacts like a female’s that means that you will be discharging the ova into your uterus and will therefore be experiencing periods like any other woman. It has come to the time for a firm decision, you are at a crossroads in your life. We can either stop all this, give you a hysterectomy and put you on strong doses of testosterone to reinstate you as a male, or operate on you to create an opening to your vagina, which will allow the blood and detritus from your period to discharge as would be normal. The whole operation should be a lot simpler than normal MTF re-assignment surgery, and would involve the removal of your penis and testicles, the re-use of the remaining skin to create the labia and the tidying up of the connection to the uterus, to all intents you will be a fully-functioning female. I suggest that you need to make a decision quickly or there could be difficulties with a risk of infection from the period discharge.”

“Wow, I thought that you might eventually come out with something like that, but not so quickly. I have thought about it at length, discussed the possibility with my family and with my girlfriend, and have decided that there is really no choice. For some reason my body has decided to readjust itself, and even if I decided to have the hysterectomy, even with hormone treatment, it will probably continue to make subtle changes to me to try to feminise me. Please make arrangements for the operation, and the sooner the better, I would rather not have too long to lie awake at night reconsidering my decision.”

“I will talk to the surgeon who will carry out the operation, agree a schedule, and come back to you as soon as I can. There is something else I want to discuss with you before you go. Your condition, although not unique, is extremely rare. I would like to write a medical paper on what has happened to you, chronicling the rate and extent of your changes, including copies of the scans that have been taken and the results of the various tests I have carried out, it would all be totally anonymous, you will not be identified. It could prove useful if ever someone else is in the same situation as you, do I have your permission?”

“Dr. Shipley, I am reporter, I make my living disseminating information so that there is a wide understanding of what is happening in the world, I totally understand the importance of putting the story out there to your peers and colleagues. Go ahead, do what you have to do, and if you want any information from me on how the changes have affected me and changed my personality, don’t hesitate to ask.”

In a way I was now resigned, even happily resigned, to a future life fully as a woman, I would be able to continue my burgeoning careers as a reporter, author, and TV presenter, without any possibility being exposed as a fraud. I did not see myself as a transexual or even as transgendered, I was just me, soon to be as much and as full and natural a woman as any other.

I was surprised to get a call the next day from Dr. Shipley. “Jane, I’ve discussed your case with Mr. Cunningham, the surgeon who will be operating on you. As the case is so unusual he is enthusiastic to get this done as soon as possible. Normally there would be a long waiting list for SRS, but he is intrigued to actually work on you, his words not mine. He has had a cancellation and I think he is looking forward to getting a mention in the paper I am preparing for publication in The Medical Journal, so he has put you up his list to fit you in next Tuesday.”

“I know that I said wanted to have it over and done with quickly, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.”

“He would like to have a pre-op examination and discussion with you this Friday at 10:00, can you make it?”

“Both dates will not be a problem, send me the details and I’ll take it as it comes.”

Mum and Jenny, whilst regretting the loss of Jack, their son and brother, were happy to be welcoming me to the family as Jane, their daughter and sister. Lizzie was actually glad that I was changing completely, although her sexual interests were with either male of female and she had enjoyed her times with Jack, she was eagerly looking forward to being with a complete Jane. The other people who knew about me, Jenny’s friends, Mike, Caroline, James and Darren Cartwright were all taken a bit aback at how quickly it had all developed, but were pleased that at last I knew and accepted what my future would be.

When I rang The Post to tell Mike what was happening to me, he informed me that the courts had set a date for the corruption trial to commence, in just over a month’s time. Rather than using the reporter that normally covered the court cases for him he wanted me to get involved again, I had broken the story, knew more about it than anyone else, and he felt that I could give a much more insightful spin on the story. I agreed, subject to no problems with my medical issues and dates.

After clearing the air with family and friends, although I had decided to go ahead with the operation, I wanted to hide myself away to totally clear my head and come to terms with what what happening to me and arranged with Charles to temporarily move into Bolton Manor to get on with my novel based on the life of Henry Bolton the First Baron.

As this was to be a total fictional account based on his life, but romanticised and glorified in the manner of the Horatio Hornblower novels by CS Forester, the character’s name was amended to Aidan Armitage to differentiate it from the factual realities of Henry’s life. I had planned it out to follow his early life, his career as a young midshipman in the Battles against the French fleets in the Antilles about the time of the American Revolutionary wars, rising through the ranks at the Battles of the Nile and Copenhagen under the command of Horatio Nelson, to captaining his own ship at Trafalgar in 1805 which led to the grant of the Barony. The military events were to be woven around his adventures in the exotic locations of the Caribbean, the Baltic and the Mediterranean, the romantic liaisons that a handsome young naval officer would enjoy, and tales of derring-do and his personal involvement in the skirmishing and hand-to-hand fighting during the major battles.

I started to put the flesh on the bones of ‘Midshipman Armitage’ during the rest of the week at the Manor where I was undisturbed as Charles was away in London for a few days meeting up with William and Lizzie to try to resolve their family conflicts, and had the first chapters completed before Charles returned.

At dinner Charles was very quiet and withdrawn, not his usual ebullient self and afterwards in the orangery, over a glass of whiskey I tried to open him up.

“Charles, you are not your usual genial self, is something wrong.”

“As you know, I went down to London to meet with Lizzie and William to determine whether we could all get on together in some fashion again, but things did not work out as I had hoped.”

“I thought that would be what is troubling you, you must be so disappointed.”

“We had arranged to meet at Claridge’s for afternoon tea but William didn’t turn up even though we waited over an hour for him. Lizzie phoned some of his friends and we were told that he was in the Royal Brompton hospital in Kensington, but they were very guarded about telling us why he was in there.”

“Is he all right, what is wrong with him?”

“All in good time Jane, let me tell you at my own pace, please. When we eventually found which ward he was in and made our way there, we were surprised to see that he was in a private room and that there was a young woman police officer sitting guard outside the door. We were given permission to go in to see him and were shocked to see that he was unconscious and hooked up to all sorts of monitors, he had both legs and one of his arms in plaster, bandages around his head, and what skin we could see was covered in cuts and bruises.We asked the nurse looking at his charts what had happened to him and she just shrugged her shoulders and told us to go and ask the police officer, she couldn’t discuss it with us.”

The police officer was equally reticent but she did tell us that William had been the victim of a violent assault, and that full details would be provided to us when he regained consciousness and her senior officer arrived to question him about it, until then she was on guard duty in case of any further attacks. The nurse told us that William would be unlikely to regain consciousness soon and that we should leave him to rest and return the following day. We went back to Lizzie’s flat where she phoned around to people she knew to see if she could find more information, while I arranged a booking for an overnight stay at my club.”

We were told that he was at a party in Chelsea, high on alcohol and drugs, and that he physically assaulted and raped one of the young women there. Her boyfriend and her brother dragged him off her and threw him out of the house. A bit later he was found nearby in a pool of blood by a passerby who called the police and an ambulance, and that’s all we could find out.”

“It looks like the girl’s boyfriend and brother carried out their own justice.”

“That’s the obvious conclusion but they are adamant that all they did was throw him out, and their story was backed up by the others at the party. The police took statements but all the other guests told the same story that the two of them were only out from the party for for a few seconds while they evicted him and there was no sign of any blood or signs of a fight on either of them when they returned.”

“Unfortunately rough justice is often dished out by victim’s families or friends and the police find it hard to break the story, sometimes not even trying particularly hard as they have a lot of sympathy with the victim.” I tried to sympathise with Charles but found it difficult after what William had tried to do to Jenny.

“The following day William had recovered enough for the police to interview him, but said that he was unable to remember anything about the party after he arrived and could tell them nothing. The police are continuing to talk to him and to the people at the party but up until now there has been no breakthrough. When the police had left we went in to talk to him to see if he would be more open with us.”

“ Was he?”

“Far from it, with the police he had been quiet and polite, but with us he was quite belligerent, blaming me and Lizzie for driving him into depression which led to the drug and alcohol abuse. He told us that as we had previously made it obvious that we wanted nothing more to do with him, that he would have to sort it out himself and get his revenge on the people that had attacked him, although he would not give us any names. He screamed at us to leave and not come back, and that’s where we are all at for the moment. Lizzie is asking around to see if she can find out anything more, but it is obvious that William has really annoyed and upset a lot of people recently, nobody seems to want to help the police find out who assaulted him.”

“ You must be so frustrated, after your telephone call last week you were quite convinced that he was full of remorse and trying to change his ways.”

“I now believe that he’ll never change, he was spoilt by his mother and me when he was a child and has grown up convinced that the world owes him a living, he is arrogant and self-indulgent and doesn’t care about or have respect for anyone else.”

“Bite my nose off and tell me to keep out of it as it is none of my business if that’s what you want to do, but I suggest that you sleep on it for a few days before doing anything rash.”

“ You’re right Jane. let’s drop it and talk about something else.”

“Dates have been set for the corruption trial and I have been asked to cover it for both The Post and TV North. I understand that initially it will only be Hargreaves and Ridgeley on trial, the Crown Prosecutors felt that if all the subsidiary cases were dealt with together that it would muddy the waters and confuse a jury. I have been told that it is highly unlikely that I will be asked to give evidence, as everything I know is on record or I only know second-hand, so I should be able to cover the trial.”

“It will be interesting to see how it turns out, some of those defence barristers are too clever by half and are brilliant at putting up smokescreens and causing doubt and confusion in the minds of jurors, I just hope that those two get their just rewards.”

“In case you have forgotten, bearing in mind all the other issues troubling you at the moment, I have my pre-op meeting with Mr Cunningham tomorrow to finalise things before the operation next Tuesday.”

“Are you still convinced that it is the best way forward for you, I am fairly innocent in these matters, but it is obvious that there will be no way back?”

“When I started all this, investigating the problem at Cartwright’s, I didn’t even dream that things would go this far, but one thing has led to another and I am certain that it is what I need to do and want to do.”

“Good to hear that you are so positive about it, I find it hard to imagine that you were ever just an ordinary young man, I’ve only ever known you as Jane, an intelligent bubbly and attractive young woman.”

“Thank you so much for that Charles, you have been really kind and understanding, you could have made it so much more difficult for me.”

“There’s something else we need to talk about. With you mentioning Cunningham’s, it reminds me that they have had various meetings with the architects, engineers and designers and have now got some proposals together for The Bolton Centre that they want to present to me, I would like you to be in on that with me. I would also like you to be my representative at the majority of the design and construction team meetings when the project starts so that my interests can be put forward and protected. How do you feel about that?”

“It’s totally outside my experience and I will have no understanding of the technicalities or procedures involved, but I am a quick learner, I look forward to it. My operation is next Tuesday, and I will probably need to rest and take it easy for a while. I suggest that you put them off for a few weeks and that until they start on site and get organised any meetings are held here. I assume that there’s somewhere that can be used as a meeting room either in the Manor or one of the outbuildings, that will make it a lot easier for me in the early days. Let me talk to Mr. Cunningham tomorrow and get his advice as to when I will be fit enough to get involved before agreeing a meeting date with them.”

Lizzie was up at the Manor for the weekend, but had not made any progress, it was felt by everyone she talked to that William had got what he deserved. He refused to see her again, calling her a thieving dyke bitch who had stolen everything from him, and promising to get even with her someday. Whilst trying not to be too uncivil to Charles, Lizzie and I spent a lot of time together to make the most of my last weekend in the halfway house between male and female.

I arrived at the hospital on Monday evening as they needed to prepare me for the operation, dose me up with all sorts of anti-infection drugs, and ensure the correct diet for me. I had a restless night, dreaming about what could possibly go wrong and worrying about how long it would take me to recover. At 9:00 the next morning, a smiling anaesthetist came in and gave me an injection, that was the last thing I remembered before things went blank.

When I woke up again, Mum, Jenny and Lizzie were all sitting in the room which was decked out with vases of pink roses. Mum was the first to come over, helped me to sit up in bed and give me a big hug, followed by Lizzie, who smiled and whispered “Welcome back to the world of the living my girlfriend we are going to have some wonderful times together.”as she gave me a big hug and kiss. When Lizzie finally let loose of me and Jenny got the chance to come over she handed me a big box.

“Do you remember when you were out for the first time with me and the girls in the Italian restaurant and we said it was the official birthday for girl Jane, well that was a year ago yesterday, so Happy Birthday from all the girls Jane. Underneath the cake you will also find a set of sexy lingerie and a silk nightdress, so much better than that awful smock they have you dressed in.” They sat and chatted for the rest of the evening until I was too tired and starting to drop off.

The following afternoon I was examined by Mr. Cunningham and Dr. Shipley and advised that I would be discharged the next day. They warned me that I needed to stay in bed, take it easy and rest as much as possible, but that next week, if the soreness had died down, I could walk about and carry out light duties.

“The operation went well Jane, it was so much less complicated than SRS operations I have carried out in the past, but then your body had already done most of the work for me. Dr. Shipley will continue to regularly monitor your recovery, particularly your hormone levels but at this stage your body seem to be coping by itself without need for supplementation. I wish you well and leave you in the capable hands of Dr. Shipley.“ he smiled and left us to prepare for his next patient.

When I was discharged the next afternoon, Mum collected me and to my surprise drove me to the Manor rather than to home.

“I called Charles while you were in hospital and he agreed that it may be best to recuperate here. Mrs. H knows enough to look after any medical needs you may have, changing dressings, checking the catheter etc., and I will also be staying here to help her out and keep you company, You are lucky to have such understanding and helpful friends.”

“What about Lizzie is she still around?”

“She had to go back to London to try and sort something out with William. Apparently while he is in hospital, his flat, well actually Charles’ flat that he lets William use, was broken into, graffiti painted on the walls ‘Get out of town rapist and don’t come back.’ and things like that. William refused to see her at first, but she has now convinced him to at least talk to her to try to find somewhere for him to stay. Anyway, lets get you into the house and into your bed, the doctors said that you need to rest.”

For the rest of the week, I did very little but eat sleep and read, but by the weekend I was determined to be out of bed and mobile for when Lizzie came back. Mum and Mrs.H still wouldn’t let me lift a finger to help them and insisted that I was still not fully recovered and should not overexert myself, but were glad to have me up and about chatting to them.

When Lizzie arrived on Friday night she was deep in thought and after warmly greeting me she went off to see Charles in his study, where they shut themselves away for an hour or so until Marshall called us all in for dinner. Both Lizzie and Charles seemed to have something on their minds and were quite quiet and withdrawn until we had finished our meal.

“We have something we need to discuss with you Nell and Jane, let’s retire to the orangery, Marshall and Mrs.H can tidy up in here while we have a talk.”

After sorting out drinks for us, Charles continued his conversation.

“Lizzie has been around to the flat again and it needs a bit of work to clean it all up before it will be fit for William to return and so she has been trying to arrange with his friends to put him up temporarily while he recuperates. Unfortunately they are now all former friends, everyone has had enough of him, nobody is interested. He could go into a hotel when he is discharged from the hospital, but he will need some assistance, although his wounds are recovering he is not fit to look after himself. Lizzie has suggested that I let him return home, at least until he has recovered, as Mrs.H could help to nurse him back to health. However I am unwilling to do that unless it is unacceptable to both of you, and I would understand if it would be too uncomfortable for you.”

Mum looked at me to answer first. “As I said the other day, when it comes down to it, he is still your son, and despite everything he has done, you cannot just cast him aside. You are kindly letting me stay here to recover from my operation, and I am not family. I can hardly tell you not to bring him home.”

“That goes for me too Charles, do whatever you think is best.” Mum added.

“It will be made very clear to him that if he says or does anything offensive, particularly to you Jane, that he will be shown the door, regardless of what physical state he is in. If I have to choose between the pair of you and him, unfortunately he is the past and you two are the future of this family.”

With that cleared he rose and went off to his study asking Mum to join him, leaving Lizzie and I to talk about all the things that we had been up to during the week.

“Lizzie, I hope that I am not the cause of a split in your family, although it will be awkward for me, I am quite happy for Mum and I to go back home until the situation with William is sorted out.”

“Don’t be silly Jane, as Daddy said you are part of the future of this family. I told him that we intend to get married, and that I will come back home from London to help him run the house and estate, with you by my side.”

“If that is a proposal, I’ll be delighted to accept. It’s all a bit unusual but I am sure we can sort something out.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if when Daddy and your Mum come back in that he has had a similar conversation with her. It will be a complicated family tree, your Stepfather will also be your Father-in-law, my Stepmother will be my Mother-in-law, we will be Step-sisters as well as Wife and Wife. It should give other people a lot to talk about.”

“I don’t care about anyone else as long as we are all happy with the arrangements, come here and give me a big hug but don’t squeeze too tightly. I am still a bit sore.”

Mum and Charles soon returned, holding hands and grinning at each other like a couple of teenagers.

“I told you Jane that I would probably wait until the celebration dinner when the earldom is restored before asking your mother to marry me, but I heard today that the official letters patent are on their way by courier so I have jumped the gun. Nell, your Mum, has kindly agreed to accept my proposal and become my wife and the Countess of Edenbury, and I think this calls for a celebration. I have asked Marshall to bring up a couple of bottles of the vintage Dom Perignon and six glasses, I think on this occasion that he and Mrs.H should join in the celebration, although it will break many of Marshall’s protocol barriers.”

“Mrs. Hutchinson, I know that it is short notice but would it be asking too much for you to arrange a celebration banquet for tomorrow evening. Of course you and Mr. Marshall must join us too, I will leave you to arrange the menu with my future wife, you both know a lot more than I do what will be appropriate. Jenny must join us too, and her young man of course if she wants to bring him, please arrange that Jane. I would rather celebrate before William comes back home in case he ruins things, we can do something with him later if appropriate.”

It had been a bit of a whirlwind day and I was glad to get back to my bed where I went off to sleep the minute my head hit the pillow. When I woke I found Lizzie spooned in behind me still asleep with her arm gently laid around my waist. I got up as quietly as possible so as not to disturb her, got myself ready and went down to the kitchen for breakfast where Mrs. H was working away busily.

“Good morning Miss Jane, I’m sorry but I haven’t got breakfast prepared yet, I’ve been so busy organising things for the meal this evening.”

“Don’t worry Mrs.H, you get on with what you are doing, I’ll look after myself then I’ll give you a hand if it is any use.”

I made myself a fruit salad, topped it with yoghurt, added a a few slices of toast and butter, a plate of ham and cheese, and brewed a pot of fresh coffee.

“Mrs.H, you deserve a break, come and sit down and have a coffee and some toast.”

“Thank you so much my dear, my apologies Miss Jane, I really appreciate it, it is the first time for ages that I have had someone prepare breakfast for me. Miss Elizabeth sometimes did it when she was younger, but Marshall told her to stop as it wasn’t befitting her role in the house.”

“ It’s my pleasure Mrs.H, and when we are alone please just call me Jane. I don’t think I have ever been told you name, what is it?”

“ It’s Louise, M..Jane, but nobody has called me that since I have worked here, except Marshall once called me Louise, when he was a bit merry one New Year.”

We sat and chatted for a while until we were disturbed by Mum coming to join us.

“Good morning Jane, and you too Louise, I just heard your name when you and Jane were talking and please call me Nell when we are working together in here, let’s get breakfast over and then we can get dinner sorted out.”

I left them to organise things and went to call Jenny to update her on all the previous evening’s happenings. After she had calmed down she said that of course she would come, along with Graham, and she asked how they should be dressed.

“You looked lovely in that azure sheath-dress that Lizzie loaned you for the last formal meal we had here that she let you keep, that will be perfect, unless you have something better hidden away in your wardrobe. I assume Graham has a dinner jacket, tell him to dress it up a bit with a cummerbund, bow-tie and pocket handkerchief to match the colour of your dress, you will make a lovely couple.

When Jenny and Graham arrived they both looked absolutely stunning, Jennie had been for a makeover session with Susie and she looked amazing in the blue dress and Graham really scrubbed up well and looked so dashing in his white dinner jacket with the accessories to match Jennie’s dress. I took Graham through to introduce him to Charles and despite their totally different upbringings and lifestyles, there was an instant rapport between them, to be honest I think Charles was glad of male company after being continually surrounded by women.

With Mum’s input, Mrs.H had come up with a menu that allowed her and Marshall to sit and enjoy the meal with the rest of us without having to spend too much time running back and forth to the kitchen. The homemade farmhouse pâté in filo cups were a light starter leaving plenty of room for the haunch of venison from the estate carved at the table, with seasonal vegetables and duchess potatoes, followed by individual bowls of Cranachan, and a cheeseboard with biscuits. Marshall excelled himself with some superb wines from the cellar which loosened everyone up quite a lot. Surprisingly considering the eclectic mix of all our backgrounds it all went off excellently, Graham did not seem as overawed as the rest of us had been on our first visits and just took everything in his stride, Mrs.H was dressed up in her best frock and for a change wore full makeup and really came out of her shell, and even Marshall loosened up and dropped most of his normal deferential formal manner.

Marshall and Mrs.H, joined us for an after-dinner liqueur before leaving to clear everything up. Mum, Jenny, Lizzie, and I were catching up on all our relationship developments, leaving Graham and Charles in deep discussion.

“Jane, can you join us for a moment please if I can drag you away from the other ladies?” Charles called me over. “Graham has been telling me that he was surprised at the grandeur of the Manor, and that he didn’t realise that it was such an architectural gem. He has asked if he can do a feature on the Manor for Spotlight. I have agreed on the condition that you will present it. How does that sound?”

“If you are happy to have your family home exposed to public gaze, I would be delighted, it’s a shame that somewhere as lovely as Bolton Manor is not more widely appreciated. Obviously I will be tied up with the court case for a few weeks, but after that would be wonderful.”

“The other thing Jane,” interrupted Graham, “is that Charles has told me about several other properties in the area that are equally as grand. If we can get permissions from the owners, I am proposing that this is not a one-off, but the first in a series. Along with the other shows you are doing for us, and the coverage of the court case, this could really give your career with us a real lift-off.”

I was getting really tired and having made my apologies I went to my room, leaving the others to continue their celebrations, and for a change all my dreams that night were not about my gender issues, which were now resolved, but were about a career going from the local station on to National TV roles.

To be continued.

I was up early the next morning, having left for bed earlier than the others the previous night and not having drunk so much, I expected that it would be a while before anyone else surfaced to join me. As I had expected, Mrs H was already busy in the kitchen.

“ Good morning Louise, did you enjoy yourself last night, it must have been a bit of a change for you?”

“Morning M.. Jane, I trust that you are feeling a bit more rested this morning. I really enjoyed myself, and so did Geoffrey, Mr Marshall, it was a nice change being in there with you all rather than being confined to the kitchen, and it gave me a rare chance to dress up nice. You were all so pleasant to Geoffrey and me, not a case of ‘Upstairs, downstairs’, it was almost as if I was just another one of the house guests.”

“You both deserved it Louise, it was a big occasion for Charles and he wanted all the people that are close to him to be there, but unfortunately it was not possible for William to attend. You and Marshall both excelled yourselves, the food and wine were absolutely delicious.”

“Thank you so much Jane. Since you arrived here the atmosphere in the house has totally changed, it is now much more relaxed and informal, very much more of the 2020s rather than the 1920s, it is a pleasanter place for us all.”

Surprisingly Lizzie was the next to appear. “Good Morning Jane you look bright and breezy this morning, Good Morning you too Mrs H, you and Marshal really mixed in with us all last night, it was something you both deserved for all your hard work. Could I just have a cup of coffee and some toast please , I’m in a bit of a rush this morning.”

“ What’s up Lizzie, what is the emergency?”

“I have to go down to London to sort something out with William, but I should be back early evening in time for dinner, please tell Daddy to give me a call.” she replied rather cryptically, but she didn’t offer any more, and I didn’t push her. After her quick light breakfast she left hurriedly, giving me a hug and a light peck on my cheek as she went.

I left to check on Mum and Jenny, but on the way as I was in the entrance hall the door bell rang. Rather than keep someone waiting, I answered it to find a motorcycle courier offering me a large envelope, addressed to ‘The Rt. Honourable, the Earl of Edenbury.” This was obviously confirmation of his upgrading from a Baron to an Earl, and knowing that he was eagerly awaiting it I went up to his room, knocked on the door and waited until I heard ‘Come in.” before entering.
Charles was sitting up in bed and, as expected, Mum was lying next to him.

“I thought that you might like to see this immediately.” I said as I passed the envelope to him, seeing his eyes light up like a child opening Christmas presents when he saw how it was addressed.

“Thank you so much Jane, I was wondering when this would arrive. Please tell Marshall to put a couple of bottles of fizz on chill, and when we are all up and dressed last nights celebrations will continue.”

“Lizzie has had to rush off to London, something to do with William, she didn’t say what it was about, but expects to get back early evening.”

“Come on you two, get yourselves up, it’s a lovely day out there.” I called through Jenny’s half-open door. “As much as you would like to stay there, I will give you both, particularly Graham, a tour of the garden and grounds so he can get a better idea of what to include in our feature on Bolton Manor and the estate.”

Charles was in an ebullient mood over breakfast telling us all about the contents of the letter, confirmation of his appointment as an Earl, copies of the amended coat of arms to include an Earl’s coronet, and an ‘invitation’, more a request, to attend parliament’s House of Lords for his inauguration, although he would have no rights to sit there passing judgement on changes to the laws of the land.

Before I took them for the tour of the house and estate, Graham phoned the ‘Spotlight’ team ruling them to announce Charles’ good news on that evening’s edition, and I phoned Mike at The Post to put him in the picture too, promising a more detailed report when I knew all the facts and implications.

The three of us went for a tour of the house, most of which Jenny had not seen on her previous visits, before picking up one of the Land Rovers to show them the walled garden, the deer park and the site of The Bolton Centre development. We left Mum and Charles to discuss how the change in status would affect their lives, particularly Mum’s as Charles had been raised in the knowledge of what would be expected of him.

I had been expecting that when we got back Charles would still be on an adrenaline high after his news, but he was sitting quietly in deep thought in his study.

“Is something wrong Charles, have William’s injuries taken a turn for the worse?”

“Far from it, apparently his injuries are healing as well as could be expected, but I can’t say the same for his reputation or his future. Lizzie called while you were out telling me that she left early this morning because she had received a call from William saying that he had been charged with the rape of Charlotte Maltravers, the girl at the party, and that he wanted her to arrange for our family solicitor in London to represent him.”

“That’s awful news, is he still in hospital or have the police taken him to the station for questioning?”

“He is still in hospital, He’s not yet fit to be discharged, the police are interviewing him in his room there. However, that’s not the end of the story, they tested his DNA and have found links to several other unresolved cases, 5 cases of rape, one of sexual assault and attempted rape and one of aggravated assault. The aggravated assault was not counted as attempted rape as the victim was ‘a pre-op transexual’ to use the police’s term, when it became apparent to him that she was not as she appeared he gave her such a violent beating that she was in hospital for months and is still not fit to work.”

“Charles, pardon me for saying this but he is worse than an animal. After his beating I had a little bit of sympathy for him, but that has now completely gone, I hope they ‘throw the book’ at him.”

“He is being held on only the one charge in relation to Charlotte Maltravers at the moment, while they review the other cases, get witness statements updated and things like that. I have spoken to my solicitor and he is not holding out much hope for anything but a very long prison sentence when it goes to court. The police want William held in custody when he is fit to leave hospital, probably meaning he’ll go to a prison hospital, but our solicitor is trying to get him released on bail to my charge returning to the Manor although the prospects for that are slim.”

“Trust William to ruin your day, you were in such a good mood this morning and now he has sent you plummeting back to the depths of despair. Let me have a word with my contacts at the local police, The Metropolitan Police and the magistrates are more likely to remand him to your charge here if the local police are willing to officially monitor him.”

I called ACC Joe Riley to see if there was anything that could be done. He was reluctant at first as William had committed no offence on his patch, only down in London, until I told him about the attempted rape of Jenny at Bolton Manor. He suddenly had an excuse to get involved in the case and said that he would speak to the Met. to see if something could be arranged.

Jenny and Graham left for home, actually Jenny’s flat as the pair of them were now sharing, after thanking Charles for a delightful weekend, with Graham promising to get in touch with him soon about the ‘Spotlight’ feature.

Charles was in quite a distant sullen state of mind, so Mum and I left him to his thoughts and went join Mrs H in the kitchen.

“Have you heard the news about William, Louise?”

“Unfortunately I have, that man never ceases to disappoint me.”

“We’re trying to get him released and sent back here to recover from his injuries, after what you have heard are you still prepared to nurse him back to health?”

“If there is any choice I would rather not be in his presence, but when I was working as a nurse I treated people that for various reasons were equally objectionable. If that is what his Lordship wants to do, I am prepared to go along with it.”

When Lizzie returned later Charles’ mood had improved a little and he called Mum and me in to hear what she had found out in London.

“The Met. are in discussions with ACC Riley and it looks like they are willing to release him to the custody of the local team, as long as he is constantly chaperoned, that means having police officers in the house 24/7 when he is mobile again. While he is here the local police want to question us all about the attempted rape of Jenny, and it is likely that he will be charged with that as well as all the others on the list.”

“Let me speak to Jenny,” Mum butted in ”she may not want to go through the trauma again to make a statement and act as a witness at trial.”

“I have only come back for tonight to tell you all face-to-face rather than a phone call, but at the moment I am more useful keeping tabs on things in London. I’m sure that you have lots of questions, let's get some drinks and talk through what this means for all of us, Jenny included.”

The next few days were relatively quiet so I just continued writing ‘Midshipman Armitage which had already covered his adventures in the battles of Copenhagen and the Nile, where his exploits led to his promotion to Captain and command of his own ship. HMS. Lorne. The book was now over half complete, leaving only the involvement of him, his ship, and his crew at Cape Trafalgar, his rewards grants and ennoblement as aa Baron, and his retirement and later family life at Armitage Court.

I was now almost fully recovered from my surgery and, as a break from sitting at my computer writing, I was taking long walks around the estate, often on my own but occasionally with Charles. Being out in the fresh air, deep in thought, and sharing his worries with me he was slowly coming to terms with what William had done. The Met. and the local force had agreed for William to come back to the Manor, until he was fit enough to be taken into custody and remanded to prison in London until his trial.

At the weekend William was brought up in a secure police van, followed by Lizzie in her car, and was escorted to his room where he was handed over to the care of the local force, amongst whom, I was pleased to see, was PC Galton who had been involved with me when my father attacked me.

It had been agreed that William would be confined to his room, with no visitors allowed other than family and Mrs H, and that a police constable would always be on duty outside the door to his room. He was not happy with the arrangements, but when he had a go at Lizzie and Charles for agreeing to the conditions, he was bluntly told that if he preferred he could be sent back and transferred to a prison hospital. Whenever Mrs H went into his room to tend to his injuries, she insisted that she was always accompanied by the police officer on duty, although William was seriously incapacitated she didn’t trust him to not be violent.

Recently there had been a happy relaxed atmosphere at the Manor, but since his arrival and the previous build up to it, the mood was much more sombre, his presence was always the ‘elephant in the room’.

DC Cummings interviewed us all, especially Jenny, about the attempted rape of her, and after taking the witness statements from Lizzie and I, it was added to the charges against him for when he would face trial.

Bringing back the memories of that night was not pleasant for Jenny, so to try to cheer her up I rang around and arranged a night out with the girls. I hadn’t seen Babs, Susie, and Linda for months, not really since my first TV report so there was a lot of catching up for me to do. I was still not sure about driving since the operation, so Jenny drove me into town and we all met up at The Nags Head, where the others were already waiting for us.

Babs waved over to Tom at the bar to brink over another bottle of wine, as they had already almost finished the one on the table.

“Good to see you all again, you haven’t been in for ages, as I said before it is a pleasant change to see five lovely bubbly young ladies in here instead of the old grumps I usually have to serve. Enjoy your wine girls.”

“ He definitely had his eye on you there Jane, and you’ve got no excuse now not to follow up with him.” Susie teased me.

“I’m sure that Jennie has told you that I am in a relationship with Lizzie Bolton, unfortunately Tom does not fit into my plans.”

“ Come of it Jane, now you have all the right bits, why not give it a go, you never know, you might enjoy a man inside you.”

“ Anyway, even if I was interested, I am out of action at the moment, I have just started my first period.”

“Really? Jenny said that you had all the internal organs but I didn’t think that they would be in full working order. That is one of the few downsides to being a woman Jane, just think that you have another 20 years or so to suffer, welcome to womanhood.” Linda grinned as she patted me on the arm.

Although they had previously talked freely in front of me they were now even more open, discussing all their various ‘female problems’, and asking about my relationship with Lizzie, before wanting to know all about working on Spotlight, and how the court case was progressing. They were surprised and shocked when Jenny told them all about William and what he had done.”

“Do you want to know what I think,” snapped Babs, “when the evil bastard goes to trial they should just turn him over to the anti-rape protesters outside the court, he would never be in a position to do it again after they finished with him.”

“Can we change the subject girls? I brought Jenny out so that she could talk and think about normal things, she has suffered enough from William without dragging it all up again.”

After that the conversation just turned to the normal gossip and catch up about what everyone had been doing lately and we had a really pleasant night, with me promising to meet up with them all again soon. I stayed the night at Jenny’s flat in her spare room before Graham offered to drive me back to the Manor in the morning.

“You’re lucky Jane, I had planned to meet up with Charles and you to discuss the feature on Bolton Manor. I need to pick up Fizz as she will be working with you on the script, is that ok?”

We all had a brief meeting with Charles to agree roughly what was proposed and get his agreement, then the three of us went back to the room I was using as my office to plan things out in more detail. When we had a fair idea of what we would be covering, Fizz told me about another couple of exposés she had been working on and asked if I was ready to go back to the studio to work on them with her.

The first was that people living near a local landfill site were suffering from various respiratory problems that they blamed on excessive fumes drifting towards their homes due to inadequate controls at the site. The second was in relation to blatant breaches of Health & Safety regulations at a town centre construction site that had led to loose materials falling from high level and killing two people walking by below. Although both were being investigated by the relevant authorities there was still a lot of human interest information that Fizz had pulled together that gave enough scope for further programmes.

Due to further incidents becoming exposed, the corruption court case was put back for a further two months, which gave me the opportunity to get involved with Fizz’s projects and I was now feeling fit enough to take part, so I took a break from ‘Midshipman Armitage’ for a few weeks while the programmes were pulled together, filmed and broadcast. This also got me away from the Manor and the disruptive influence of William.

William’s broken arm had healed well enough for his cast to be removed enabling him to hobble around on crutches and he was allowed to walk around the house, but not outside and always accompanied by a police escort. As best as I could I kept out of his way, he was still surly and offensive and had no remorse for the things he was alleged to have done. He insisted that it was all consensual and that he had never forced himself on anyone, until I reminded him that Lizzie and I were witnesses to his assault on Jenny, and that he was wasting his time, and mine, trying to convince me otherwise. Soon the casts on his legs were removed too, which unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view, meant that he was being taken back into custody in London, The atmosphere in the Manor changed overnight after he left and even Charles was getting back to his ‘life and soul of the party’ manner.

Lizzie was spending much more time at the Manor now, only going down to London occasionally to deal with personal and business matters and to check on William. We were spending a lot more time together, more often than not sharing a bed exploring my new body and different ways to enjoy intimacy..

Mum had finally divorced my father, despite him contesting it as he suggested that there was still scope for a reconciliation. However it was a fairly clear cut decision from the court, no doubt helped by a very experienced and expensive lawyer friend of Charles. Now she was legally free, Mum and Charles planned a big celebration party to officially announce their engagement and the re-instatement of the Earlship to his fellow aristocrats and the ‘great and the good’ of the area. Lizzie and I considered making it a double celebration, but decided that Mum and Charles deserved their time in the limelight, they had both had some difficult times and this was to be their chance to purge a lot of their old demons, we would have plenty of opportunities for our own celebrations later.

Whilst Charles had a wide social circle of friends and acquaintances that he wished to invite, our side of the guest list was quite sparse, there was only Mum, me, Jenny and now Graham, and Mum’s widowed sister Mary. To balance things up we added Babs, Susie and Linda, Caroline and her husband Martin, Darren and James Cartwright, and Mike, my editor, all of whom knew about my previous life and how it had been changed, and who could be relied upon not to mention anything indiscreet. Charles trimmed his list to roughly the same numbers so as not to overwhelm Mum’s ‘side’ of the gathering and they arranged a cocktail party at the Manor with canapés and finger food, rather than a more formal event. It was to be a big enough gathering that people could mingle and chat without overcrowding the dining room, and still have a lively but cosy party atmosphere.

Charles and Mum mingled with all the gusts chatting while we all enjoyed the food and drink constantly supplied by Mrs H and Marshall in all his fancy livery once again. Mostly people kept in groups that they knew, but Lizzie and I played the part of hostesses, introducing people to those they had not met before. Halfway through the evening Marshall banged the dinner gong to get everyone’s attention. “Ladies and Gentlemen, pray silence for his Lordship, the Rt. Honourable the Earl of Edenbury, who would like to say a few words.”

“Welcome friends, old and new. Since Cressida died I have been a bit withdrawn from the world, but that has changed since I was introduced to my wonderful wife-to-be Ellen by her lovely daughter Jane who have both freshened up a lot of my life again, and given me reasons to look forward rather than backwards. I am now glad to see many of you again and hope that it will not be so long until the next time. I also wish to thank my beautiful daughter Elizabeth who worked tirelessly to get the title of Earl restored to the family for which I will be eternally grateful and delighted with the knowledge that one day she will be the Countess following me in charge of this wonderful estate. Thank you all so much for coming to enjoy this moment with me. That is the end of the formalities, please enjoy yourselves for the rest of the evening.”

I quietly ushered away Caroline and the girls to show them around the house and they were all as amazed and awestruck as I had been on my first visit. “Let’s get this evening out of the way, sometime soon I want you all to come back to meet Lizzie properly and get to know her. I know that I introduced you all to her, but that’s just the start, when we get married and eventually take over the house, you will all be welcome guests whenever you wish, you have all helped me became the person I now am and I owe you all. Now let’s get back to the party.”

Eventually the party broke up and guests started drifting off. It had been a strange mix of people from all levels of the social scale, but after initially keeping to their own groups they all gradually found surprising new friends and contacts. Graham had a particularly successful night being introduced to and charming several of the owners of potential houses for his documentary series and getting their agreement. Darren and James were inundated with requests for more information about how the Bolton Centre scheme was progressing and agreed on a meeting with Mike who wanted re-energise the flagging story of the corruption scandal,. Lizzie and I were the subject of a lot of whispered gossip about exactly what our relationship was, but generally I was accepted by Charles’ friends. Darren and James took the girls, who were still buzzing with excitement at the splendour of the night, back to town to their homes and the Manor was again calm and quiet.

The families, Mum and Charles, Jenny and Graham, and Lizzie and I settled down for a wind-down drink to relax. With William being down in London on remand, and those involved in the corruption case mainly in custody or under strict bail condition, our personal relationships having become more settled and my gender confusion now resolved, we were all looking forward to a more settled time, Life was looking rosy again.

To be continued.

Things quietened down for a while, I completed ’Midshipman Armitage’ and sent it off to the publisher friend of Charles, with high expectations of acceptance and publication. I was delighted when a few weeks later I received confirmation that it had been edited, proof-read, and was being printed for publication, with an initial run of 20,000 copies, along with a request for a follow up if possible. I time-travelled forward ten years from the Trafalgar era to the life and times of Henry’s son Arthur at the Battle of Waterloo and planned the outline of the story ‘Colonel Armitage, Hussar’ to which I would add the ‘flesh on the bones’ over the next few months.

My writing career as a novelist was taking off, and there were one or two more tales to tell in the Armitage family saga based on the Boltons but I didn’t want to dwell too much on them and get too near to reality, so started thinking about a new set of characters. Trying to keep to subjects I had some knowledge of I started planning a series based on the rise of the Carter family from their early days as blacksmiths and wheelwrights in the 17th century to modern times as major property developers. The fortunes were to be established by moving into construction in the boom of the enormous growth in the market in the Georgian and Victorian eras, through to being major property developers and members of the local high society clique. The tone of the books would change from the derring-do adventures of Henry and Arthur Armitage to more of a family saga and the interrelationships of the family members as they rose up the social scale. Along with my TV and journalism careers, it was going to be a busy few years for me.

Things were moving slowly on the corruption case, but early decisions were made on the potential charges against Sally, Maggie, Liz, and her sister Judy. No charges were to be proceeded with against Maggie, Liz and Judy, it was considered that their actions were not criminal and that they were the victims of blackmail and coercion, it was up to Cartwright’s whether any civil action would be taken for breaches of confidentiality and fraud. Sally however was a different matter, although she was also the victim of blackmail, the fact that she had coerced Judy, and through her, Liz, meant that she was taken to court and found guilty. However the magistrates took into account the way she was groomed by Ridgeley and she was given a two-year suspended sentence. James and Darren decided not to progress any claims against any of them, and so for them all, the matter was effectively closed.

“Jane, let’s go for a walk there is something we need to discuss, and it would be better if we were on our own.” Lizzie took my hand and led me out into the garden.

“It’s awfully ironic, you have just gone through your first period, and for the first time for ages I have missed mine, I’m pretty sure that I am pregnant. That swan-song of yours before your operation seems to have done the trick.”

I stood speechless, looking at her, before coming to my senses, and almost squeezing her to death in a big hug.

“That’s wonderful darling, are you sure, or is it just wishful thinking?”

“I got one of the home-testing kits and it showed positive, I am going to see the doctor tomorrow to get it confirmed, but I am almost definite. Don’t squeeze me so hard we don’t want to damage junior do we?”

“Rather than telling Mum and your father, let’s keep it to ourselves until after you’ve seen the doctor, we don’t want to build up their hopes of grandchildren just to dash them down if it is a false alarm.”

Two days later we were all sitting down after dinner and decided to announce the good news.

“Mum you have now got your wish for a grandchild, and Charles you now have a line of succession, Lizzie is pregnant with what we hope will be the first of several.”

“I can’t keep up with modern times,” Charles said, “A lesbian and a transexual having a baby together, it is all so confusing, but I am so delighted for you both. Are you allowed to have a glass of champagne to celebrate Lizzie or is that frowned upon?”

“Mum didn’t say anything at first, but came over and gave us both big hugs, wiping the tears from her eyes. “If you two can manage it Jane, it’s about time that Jenny followed suit, you must have a word with her.”

Lizzie decided to have a small glass of champagne to celebrate, promising that it would be the last until the baby was born, and we all sat and talked about how it would change our futures.

“I know that nowadays it is not considered necessary, but do you plan to marry before the baby arrives, or have a civil wedding or anything, call me old-fashioned but it is still the best thing to do?” Mum had a worried tone in her voice as she asked.

“It’s confused because of Jane’s history, but she is legally a woman now, and that means we can’t have a Church of England marriage ceremony. We will have to have a civil ceremony, but that can be low-key with just us and witnesses, followed by a blessing in church, which is allowed, and that can be the ceremonial event with all the guests and all the trimmings. The other thing which is a problem is who to put on the birth certificate as the father of our baby. It needs legal advice but we would like it to be recorded as Jack Carter, as physically at the time, Jane was still a male. That’s what Jane and I would like to do but we need to get it all confirmed.”

“Anyway,” Charles interrupted, “Those are all details, this should be a time of happiness and celebration, let’s not spoil it by getting worried about legalities. I know this is a time when you ladies take over and run the show, but as Nell and I are planning to get married anyway, why not make it a double wedding celebration, that is if you all are happy with the idea. Obviously it will mean rushing our plans, but why not?”

“That’s a lovely idea Charles, it will need to be a lot sooner than we planned, before Lizzie begins to show, but we still have plenty of time to get things organised.” Mum added in agreement, from the look on her face her mind was already in overdrive thinking ahead.

I shrugged my shoulders and squeezed her hand to let Lizzie know that our answer was up to her, she smiled at her father and went over to give him a hug and kiss. “Of course Daddy, that would be wonderful.”

Despite my new physical appearance, my brain was still mostly in male mode and whilst I was really looking forward to getting my relationship with Lizzie formalised, I couldn’t get carried away with all the planning details like Lizzie and Mum and left them to it, joining Charles to discuss the Bolton Centre development.

“Darren was asking me the other night when they could present the proposals to us as they now have the financial backing in place, and would like to get started.”

“As I said before, I would like you to be my representative at meetings, give him a call and arrange it. I have no plans for being away from the estate for the next few weeks. There’s a conference room in the old estate office that can be used for any meetings until they get the site set up .”

Just after breakfast next morning, I had a call from Mike at The Post.
“What are you doing a week on Friday, Jane? We have an invitation, more of a request, to attend the regional ‘Media Awards of the Year’ event. I am booking a table for myself, Julie my sub-editor, you and your guest, presumably Lizzie, along with four of our main shareholders. I understand that TV North are also booking a table, so Graham and Jenny will most likely be going with them. You’ve not been to one of these before, so just so you know the score, it is a formal do, Gentlemen in dinner Jackets and bow ties, Ladies in posh frocks or cocktail dresses. Are you ok with that?”

“I may not have been invited before, but I have seen reports of previous years on Spotlight, of course I’ll be there. You say that it was more of a request than an invitation, does that mean that The Post is up for an award.”

“Actually we are nominated for three, ‘News story of the Year’, ‘Reporter of the Year’, and ‘Newspaper of the Year’, I’ll be happy if we get any one of them, it will be quite a feather in our caps.”

When I managed to find Lizzie and told her the news, she was even more thrilled than I was.

“That’s wonderful for you, the Nomination for ‘Reporter of theYear’ must be for you, all your recent hard work is paying off. Of course we’ll have to go shopping for some dresses.”

“ I was thinking of just wearing my coral prom dress that I wore for the Rotary Ladies Night, it’s sitting there in the wardrobe unused.”

“You still have an awful lot to learn about being a girl Jane, an event like that deserves a new outfit and an appointment at the beauty salon, particularly if your nomination turns into an award and you have to go up for a presentation. Let’s give Jenny a call, and if she is going to be there with Graham, the three of us need to arrange things, two weeks sounds a long time, but it will fly by.”

Alongside my other commitments, TV appearances, reporting for the Post, writing ‘Colonel Armitage, Hussar’, Lizzie and Jenny made sure that I spent a lot of time, probably too much time, looking around for suitable dresses and accessories for the awards ceremony.

Eventually after trying on dozens, I settled on a halter-neck, full-length chiffon dress, white with red trimming on the hem and waist, with matching 4’ heels and clutch bag. Lizzie went for a much more classic black style with sequinned bodice and white piping, split from the ankle to mid-thigh, which I thought was very similar to one she already had in her wardrobe, but she insisted it was nothing like it and the older one would not do. Jenny chose a vivid yellow flowing off-the-shoulder maxi dress which went perfectly with her natural blonde hair.

On the day before the event, the three of us were booked in at Susie’s salon for a full beauty treatment, facials, waxing, hair trimming, nail shaping, and in my case a little bit more touch-up electrolysis on my face, in preparation for the finishing touches to be added the next afternoon. Susie closed her salon on the Friday afternoon as her and her assistant Josie would be full occupied with the three of us.

We were in the salon for the rest of the day, hair washed, tints and streaks added, and styled , a makeover with full evening glamorous look, and nails painted to match the colours of our dresses.

“Wow, girls, you all look gorgeous, don’t forget to tell anyone who asks who did the wonderful job on you, one of these days I must get someone to do a similar job on me. Get yourselves home, get into your glad-rags, you’re going to stun them tonight. We’ll have to get together soon with Babs and Linda and you can tell us all about it.” Susie gushed as she gave us all a hug and waved us goodbye.

Lizzie and I went back to the Manor to change into our outfits for the night, and Lizzie raided the family jewellery box to find something to top off our dresses. She gave me some gorgeous diamond and peal drop earrings and a white choker encrusted with rubies to go with my dress, and some diamond and jet earrings and black pearl necklace for herself. We were probably dressed a bit over the top for an industry event, but I felt like Cinderella going to the ball. Mum wept tears of joy when she saw me and insisted on taking lots of photos of Lizzie and me in all our finery before she allowed us to leave.

After picking up Jenny and Graham, Marshall drove us to the hotel for the event in Charles’ Bentley and when we stepped out and walked into the hotel foyer we drew a lot of attention, admiration from the men and jealous assessment from the women. We saw Mike and Julie waiting for us and they waved over to us to join them.

“ I’ve ordered the wine, so rather than stand in the reception area, let’s go to our table, and I’ll introduce you to the others.”, Mike said, hardly able to take his eyes off the pair of us. Our table towards the font of the room was made up with four of the investors in The Post, three men and one woman, which made for a balanced seating arrangement. Mike made the introductions and they were most impressed when Lizzie was introduced as ‘Lady Elizabeth Bolton’, which was the name on her place-card and the table plan.

“Pleased to meet you Lady Bolton.” said one of the men formally, introducing himself.

“ Oh, for goodness sake this is a social event and I am here as a ‘plus one’, please just call me Lizzie like everyone else does.” She replied with a gracious smile.

The North TV group were on the next table to us, Jenny and Graham, Fizz and her husband Rob, and two of the presentation team and their partners. We said hello and introduced our various guests before sitting down for the meal.

We had an enjoyable meal in pleasant company but I had to admit that my taste buds had been spoiled by Mrs H’s cooking and Marshalls wine selection, but then gave the caterers a bit more credit, it must be difficult getting 160 meals all together at the same time, whilst catering for the growing fashion for vegetarian or vegan options. Soon it was down to the business of the evening, the run through of the nominations and presentation of the awards in the various categories. Most of the categories were already covered before they got to the ones we were interested in.

“Next, ‘News Story of the Year’, the nominations are………….There can only be one choice this year really, the corruption scandal involving council officers and building companies, broken by The Post.” The compere announced. Mike, Julie and I rose and walked up onto the stage, me lifting the hem of my skirt with one hand and Mike supporting me with one hand and Julie with other, to a generous round of applause. “ I am honoured to receive the award on behalf of The Post, but the credit really goes to Jane, it was her undercover investigation that first discovered what was going on.” Mike pointed towards me and started clapping and when it quietened down we returned to our seats, where we were heavily congratulated by all our guests, and a beaming proud Lizzie.

“After that,” continued the compere , “there can only be one winner for ‘Reporter of the Year. Miss Jane Harrison.” Again I walked up onto the stage, getting slightly embarrassed at the plaudits and wolf-whistles that were being directed towards me.

“The award of ‘Newspaper of the year’ was one of the most heavily contested areas, but by a unanimous decision of the Judging panel, it goes to The Post.” The compere greeted us warmly before continuing. “If this keeps going on we’ll have to get Jane a seat up here on the stage to save her climbing the steps each time.”

There was a short break before moving on to the awards for TV and radio. We were joined at our table by Graham Jenny and Fizz who congratulated me heartily, “Mum will be so proud of you Jane, this must all do wonders for your career.” Jenny almost cried as she gave me a big hug.

The ceremony continued going through numerous awards for the various categories before getting to ones for which TV North had been nominated.

Graham and Fizz and the other two presenters were delighted when they were called up for the award, ‘Regional News Programme of the Year.” It was thoroughly deserved, it was always topical and well researched, and presented by a friendly team that their audience could relate to, I was so pleased for them.

‘The Troubleshooter’ series also won them an award for ‘Factual Documentary Series’ and they insisted that I joined them for the presentation, although Graham and I let Fizz receive the award on our behalf, she had done most of the hard work on the various exposés and deserved her moment in the spotlight.

“Now to our final special award of the evening ‘Media Personality of the Year'. For her work on Spotlight and The Troubleshooter for TV North and for her excellent reports in The Post, there can only be one winner, I just hope that she has a shelf big enough for all the awards she has received this evening, please congratulate Miss Jane Harrison. As one, all the guests rose to applaud and cheer me. I was overwhelmed by all the people coming over to me to shake my hand and tears of happiness were forming in my eyes.

The rest of the evening was a blur for me, partly due to the celebration wine that our two tables were drinking, but mainly due to the emotion, but it was soon time to collect our things and all the awards and leave. When the Bentley pulled up, we were surprised to see not just Marshall in the driving seat, but Mum and Charles in the back waiting for us.

“Jenny called to say what a successful night you have had and we just had to see you right away to congratulate you, I am so proud of you.” Mum did actually cry as she gave me a hug.

“Let’s get you all home and we can have our own private celebration. You need to unwind, you are so high with excitement” added Charles.

The next morning I woke up with a very fuzzy head from too much celebration Champagne, but still in very high spirits from my success the previous night. I showered, as much to clear my head and freshen up as to clean myself. Mum was downstairs in the kitchen chatting to Mrs H. having coffee and toast.

“Good morning, I could really do with a coffee, really strong and sweet and just some toast, I don’t think I could face anything else at the moment. When I woke up Lizzie, who hadn’t been drinking much at the event and was therefore a lot fresher than me, had already got out of bed, is she still around?”

“She’s in with Charles,’ said Mum, “a date has been set for William’s trial for a fortnight’s time. From what they have been told he intends to plead not guilty to all the charges, despite witnesses to the rape of Charlotte Maltravers, though there were a lot of witnesses to that, and you and Lizzie saw him trying to rape Jenny. Charles is so disappointed, saying that it’s typical of him, making all those poor girls go to court to relive their experiences. I think that they are going to try to reason with him to plead guilty for the girls’ sakes, but also as a guilty plea could help to get him a lower sentence.”

“Why is it Mum that William always spoils everything and bursts the bubble when things are otherwise going so well, it has really put a dampener for me on this weekend.”

Two weeks later Charles, Mum, and Lizzie went down to London to watch the trial, Jenny went with them as a potential witness in the case of his attempted rape of her. I stayed at the Manor as I had commitments with North TV for another exposé programme and also that I wanted to finish my book ‘Colonel Armitage, Hussar’.

Lizzie phoned me with daily reports of the trial. William was still pleading not guilty, in denial, and was generally being belligerent and arrogant in court, his barrister trying to pick holes in the stories of the various victims and witnesses, including Jenny and Lizzie. At the end of the trial the jury returned after only a half-hour discussion to announce guilty verdicts on all counts. After a short recess to consider the length of sentence to give, theJudge gave him a term of a minimum of fifteen years, which caused him to start screaming with rage and issuing threats before he was roughly manhandled down to the cells awaiting transfer to a category B prison just outside London. As is typical with rapists, particularly serial rapists, he was to be kept in an isolation wing for his own safety, even hardened criminals have their own honour code and rape is only one step above child abuse in their eyes, rough retributive justice commonly takes place.

Charles and Lizzie visited him in the custody cells before his transfer to prison to try to reason with him, but he tried to attack Lizzie before the guards stepped in to restrain him. “ You bloody bitch,” he screamed at her, “you now have everything you always wanted, my inheritance, my house, my land and my title. Don’t think you have seen the last of me, even if I have wait fifteen years, you will eventually get your comeuppance.”

Lizzie was still upset when they returned to the Manor the next day, but between Charles and I we convinced her that his prison term was a minimum and that if he showed no signs of a change of character that he could serve even longer.

Time was marching on, and Lizzie would soon be showing, so She, Mum and I hurried along planning our weddings. It was agreed that a small family group would attend at the Manor for the civil marriage of Lizzie and I, followed by the formal church ceremonies for the wedding of Mum and Charles and the blessing of our marriage, in the local church at the edge of the Bolton Estate. The reception was planned for a large Marquee in the gardens of the Manor with invitations to all our friends and business colleagues along with many of the local dignitaries and Charles’ fellow peers.

The next few weeks were a blur of discussions with caterers and wedding planners and visits to seamstresses for fittings of our custom-designed wedding gowns. It was difficult to coordinate visits so that Lizzie and I did not have sight of the other’s dress, so she went with one of her cousins who was to be a bridesmaid, and Jenny, who was to be my bridesmaid and Mum came with me.

On wedding day, Susie and her team arrived at the crack of dawn to start getting us all, including the bridesmaids, in perfect condition.

After an hour and a half of a makeover and styling my hair into a sophisticated undo with dropped ringlets, I was squeezed into a tight body-shaper, before being laced into my wedding gown. I had decided that of the two of us, Lizzie could take the part of the bride, after all she had been brought up dreaming of this day for years, and could go for the formal really fancy gown. I had gone for a lower-key dress, still formal but not quite as fancy, an ivory flowing full-length gown with lace bodice and shoulders, finished with a short matching wedding veil pined to the back of my hair with a silver comb.

Jenny was flitting between Mum and helping us both get prepared and when she came back and saw me she almost burst into tears.

“Jane, you are looking absolutely gorgeous, when you first told me about your body changing to female, I never imagined that you would turn out so well, I will be proud to walk behind you as your bridesmaid. Mum is just about ready too. She is a lot more restrained than you, as this is her second marriage, but is looking beautiful in her pale blue lace midi dress and layered patchwork fall. I haven’t had the chance to see Lizzie yet, so that will be a surprise for us all. Let me just put the finishing touches to myself and we can then collect Mum and go downstairs.”

We made our way down to the banqueting hall for the civil wedding, where Jenny looking absolutely delightful in her cerise bridesmaid dress stood next to me as my ‘best man’ and bridesmaid all rolled into one. The music started and we all turned to see Lizzie being escorted in on the arm of her father in full military dress uniform. She was a fairy-tale princess, absolutely gorgeous in a pure white silk full wedding dress and veil with a long train trailing behind her, her face lit up with a radiant smile, followed by her two bridesmaids and flower girls. She stood next to me facing each other and our eyes locked, and I knew that my love for her would never wane.

After the registrar had completed the formalities, we all made our way to the church where most of the guests had been waiting expectedly for us. Charles was first to go in with one of his old army colleagues as best man, followed by me, with Susie, now changed into her finery escorting me. Lizzie, on Mum’s arm, followed by Jenny as Mums bridesmaid, and Lizzie’s bridesmaids then processed down the aisle to join us. Relationships and responsibilities were a bit confused from usual wedding ceremonies, but the vicar managed to cope with the confusion of the wedding and the blessing and it all went off without a hitch.

After what seemed like hours of photographs of all the wedding groups Mum, Charles, Lizzie and I were driven back to the marquee on the lawn to line up to greet all the guests, making their way to their tables for the wedding breakfast.

Apart from the few speeches, Charles’ best man telling some ribald stories of Charles’ youth, Jenny letting out some of the secrets of my younger days, and Charles saying how much his life had been changed since Ellen and Jane had arrived on the scene, it was a very informal and enjoyable affair. Charles and Mum, along with Lizzie and me, led the first dance before being joined by many of our guests which continued into late evening before people started drifting away. I spent a lot of time chatting with Susie, Babs Linda, Mike and Julie from The post, Graham and Fizz from TV North, The Cartwrights, and Caroline and Martin who had become good friends, while Lizzie did the same with her and Charles’ guests.

At the end of the evening there was only the immediate family left, and still in all our finery we sat down together to unwind after all the excitement and consider how all our lives had changed in such a short time, before making our ways to our beds for our own private celebrations.

The next day Lizzie and I completed our packing and went off for our honeymoon at a secluded lodge on the end of a pontoon jutting out into the crystal clear blue waters of the Indian Ocean, serviced by a hotel further up the beach, it was a wonderful romantic setting, watching the sun go down over the other islands and the turtles and fish swimming under our lodges, a perfect start to our married life.

However it was too soon time to go back to the realities of life and return to the Manor. Mum and Charles had been having an equally good time, on a smaller scale in a top floor suite of a large clifftop hotel in Cornwall, much more gentile and less adventurous than our honeymoon.

“You’ll be pleased to know, Jane, that the proposals have received planning permission and work has started on the Bolton Centre development, however over the next two years or so you will need to commit to regular meetings with the construction team. When you have time give James and Darren a call to schedule something out. You will not be so pleased to know that the trial of Ridgeley and Edwards for the attempt on your life by driving you off the road starts next week. You have been called as a witness and so will not be able to cover it for The Post, you’d better let Mike know so that he can get someone else up to speed to cover it.”

The trial was relatively short, the forensic evidence, the independent witness and my description of the events, left no doubt in the minds of the Jury and Judge, although they were found guilty of ‘Grievous Bodily Harm with intent’ rather than attempted murder. Amanda Edwards, as the perpetrator of the attack was sentenced to 16 years, and Ridgeley, as an accessory, to 10 years. The judge made it clear that this sentence would also be considered when the fraud trial with which they were also involved came to court.

Starting just over a month later, the trial of the pair of them, along with Hargreaves, eight other council officers or officials, and ten construction company employees was a much more complicated, longer, and drawn out affair, lasting almost 3 months. Most of my time was covering the trial for the Post and TV North, as I was not to be called as a witness I was able to attend as a reporter and was giving nightly reports on Spotlight reviewing the proceedings of the day.

I had a lot of sympathy with the Jury, there was so much information being thrown at them by the prosecution and defence lawyers. The council officials were all claiming that Ridgeley , Edwards, and all the other construction companies’ employees, had groomed them with minor inducements and then blackmailed them into awarding contracts where they had been forced to provide details of other more competitive bids, which could then be undercut or disregarded for minor technical or legal breaches of the tender process. That version was countered by the lawyers for the construction companies who claimed that the council employees and officers had made it plain that unless they were given substantial backhanders there was no chance of them getting the work. Even knowing some of the people involved, I found it difficult to know who to believe, and struggled to unravel the lies, half-truths, and glib deliberately misleading statements by the defence lawyers.

Eventually the trial concluded with all defendants being found guilty to some degree. When the verdicts were announced the judge strongly condemned the web of corruption that had blighted our town and surrounding area, praised the police for the difficult and detailed financial forensic searches they had carried out, and even gave special thanks to me for the original exposé.

At sentencing a week later, Ridgeley and Hargreaves were sent down for 12 years, most of the others for terms between 3 and 10 years, all with severe fines to compensate the council and authorities for losses and additional costs that they had incurred. The Judge made it clear that the sentence for Ridgeley was to be consecutive to the one already imposed for the GBH against me, meaning that he would be locked away for 21 years, unless he got an earlier parole.

The scandal brought down the council after they agreed to new elections, insisted on by the voters who now had no faith in the whole political regime, and the whole department dealing with tendering council projects and approval of planning applications were moved to other duties and completely new teams established. The only ones that came out of it all positively were the Cartwrights. A lot of their competitors had either gone out of business or been stripped of contracts because of the illegal and underhanded actions of their staff, and Darren picked up a lot of new business to help ease the handover of the company from James to him. This allowed him and his company to settle all of the commercial claims they had against their suppliers and sub-contractors for the false invoicing.

I hardly had time after the troubles and stress of the trials when my life was again disrupted by the arrival of Henry Arthur Bolton, a beautiful and healthy baby boy. Most of my other activities were put on hold for a while as I helped Lizzie to care for him, supported by Mum and Charles, who was particularly delighted that the dynasty started by his forebears Henry and Arthur was now secure.

As I cradled our baby in my arms and held him to my breast, I thought back to the changes that had happened to my life in the past year or so. I had gone from being an unremarkable junior reporter on a local newspaper to be a TV personality, an award-winning journalist, a successful novelist, married to my wonderful wife Lizzy, and the father/mother of a future Earl. I wistfully thought back to how it had all started that fateful Halloween when Jenny had persuaded me to go out with her and her friends, dressed as a girl, and how it had all progressed from there to the wonderful life I now had.

The End

Chapter One
Fear and Flight

Life was difficult for me when I was growing up. My Mam tried her best to raise my older sister, Jemma, and me to be polite respectful and keep ourselves clean and tidy. The same could not be said for my father, to put it bluntly he was a drunken lazy loud-mouthed slob. The only times he appeared respectable was when he was going to work as a bricklayer on construction sites or down to the Rugby club to see his teammates. He was a big intimidating hulk of a man , a typical front-row forward, tall bulky and not afraid to use his size to get his way, on or off the Rugby field, or at home. My mam shielded us from his temper and abuse as much as she could, as best as she could, but she couldn’t be around all the time.

After Jemma and I had gone upstairs to our beds, we often heard their raised voices in the kitchen and living room, having violent arguments, and frequently the next morning saw bruises on Mam’s arms or face. He never physically attacked Jemma or me, but we often felt the lash of his tongue as he berated us for minor breaches of what he thought our roles and aims in life should be.

He was always on at Jemma about wearing jeans and sloppy loose tops, telling her that now she was seventeen and growing into a woman she should dress as one, wear dresses skirts and more makeup, and learn how to flirt and satisfy a man.This was totally opposite to how he expected Mam to look, anything more than lipstick or any clothes that he thought to be ‘too sexy’ brought accusations of her playing around and being unfaithful to him, usually followed by at best a slapping, at worst a beating.

His beef with me was that I was quite small and weedy and he often told me how disappointed he was that I would never be able to follow him into the rugby team, not even as a fly-half, the smaller players who were the fast runners with the ball. Once he even jokingly suggested that I try out for the girls’ team as I was more of their size and weight rather than like the bigger boys growing up through the ranks. In addition he was always criticising everything I did, berating me, telling me that I was useless and a waste of space, undermining my confidence and faith in myself, often leaving me in tears and running up to my room to get away from him.

He was very much a ‘man’s man’, when he was in a good mood and sober he did the heavy work around the house and garden, leaving all the lighter domestic duties to Mam, Jemma and me. In many ways he considered that as I physically took after my mother that I should fit better working with the girls rather than doing ‘man’s work’. Working alongside Mam and Jemma I soon learned the basics of cooking and baking, and when they were off in town shopping and he felt hungry it was my job to keep him fed and supplied with drink.

One night after he came back from the pub, drunk and full of himself as usual, lying in bed I heard a lot of shouting and screaming from Mam and Jemma, and went downstairs to see what the bother was.

“”Get the hell out of here wimp, this is nothing to do with you, it’s bad enough that I have these two bitches having a go at me without you getting on at me too.”

“Ally, go back to bed, it’s not helpful you being here, this is between the three of us, you are best keeping out of it.” Mam told me with tears in her eyes, waving me to go away.

I woke the next morning to hear the door slamming and a car driving off, hurriedly got dressed for school and went downstairs to grab some toast and coffee for breakfast. I found a note on the kitchen table addressed to me, from my mam.

“Ally, I’m dreadfully sorry to do this to you, but Jemma and I have to get away from your father, he has gone too far this time in the way he treats Jemma and me. Unfortunately where I am going I cannot take you with me, but I will come back for you as soon as I can. Until then take care of yourself and try not to upset your father too much. Remember that I will always love you. Mam xx.”

I didn’t really understand what was happening but just thought that his violent streak had got too much for Mam and sat for a while trying to get to grips with the fact that I was now left alone with my father, before going off to school.

My day at school was a waste of time, my mind was forever wandering off to think about the situation at home. I arrived back home to find that Mam had obviously returned, having collected clothes and other personal belongings for her and Jemma while my father was at work, and then left again, which I assumed meant that the pair of them would not be coming back for some time.

About an hour later, My Father came home in a filthy mood, even worse than normal.

“What have you done for my dinner wimp?”

“I didn’t know what has been happening and what was planned, so nothing is on the go.”

“Look wimp, the bitches have left us, I am working my fingers to the bone on the building site all to to keep us in food, I expect a hot meal when I get back. Now that the women have left us, it’s your job to make sure that there is food on the table, get on with it before I really lose my temper with you.” He shouted at me as he slapped me across my cheek, sending me stumbling back to thump against the worktop.

“There is not much in the fridge,, or cupboards, so it is just something simple, sausages, baked beans and mashed potato, it’s the best I could do.” I fearfully apologised to him as I warily served up his meal tp him.

“It’s hardly a hearty meal after I have been grafting all day, I expect something better in the future, and give me one of your sausages I need it more than you.”

“ But……”

“Just shut up, I had enough earache last night from the bitches. When I have finished this I am off down to the rugby club for a few pints with the lads. When I get back I expect to see this place clean and tidy, with a clean set of work clothes laid out on my bed for me and you out of the way in your room. I want you up early every morning to get my breakfast before I leave for work. Just do as you are told and there will be no problems.”

After sorting things out, I went up to my room, did my school homework and climbed into bed, hoping there would not be any trouble when he got back .

When I went downstairs the next morning to start on his breakfast he was laid out on the sofa, he had obviously been so drunk that he hadn’t even made it up the stairs to his bed.

“What time do you call this, I should be on my way to work by now, I’ll not bother with breakfast today, I’ll grab a takeaway, but don’t let it happen again. There’s money on the sideboard, what little is left after the bitch cleared our bank account, make sure that you get some decent food in for tonight and stock up the cupboards, that is your responsibility from now on.”

So it went on for the next few weeks, all the domestic duties became my responsibility, shopping, tidying, washing and ironing clothes, and if anything was not to his satisfaction I got a lot of tongue lashing and on occasions a slapping or beating. I now understood why Mam had been forced to leave.

“Right Ellie, by the way that’s your name from now on as you may as well be a girl for all the good you are doing around here, things are going to change around here. Since the bitches left I miss the presence of a woman about the house, the rustle of their clothes, the smell of their perfume and scented soaps, and I have decided that you now have to provide that atmosphere for me. You can keep your boys’ clothes for school, but as you are doing all the woman’s work around the house I want to see you looking like one. See what Jemma has left in her room, find something that fits and suits you, put on a bit of makeup and come back in here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Dad, I don’t mind doing Mum’s work but asking me to dress as a girl and wear makeup is going too far.”

He came over, grabbed me by the hair, slapped me a few times, and threw me to the floor.

“So you think that I am ridiculous do you? You’ll do as you’re bloody told unless you want more of that, If I ever see you again not wearing a skirt or dress you will learn what a beating really is, now go and sort yourself out.”

As it happened Jemma had left a lot of stuff behind that she had grown out of or didn’t like the style anymore. I didn’t really want to do as he had ordered me, but felt that the only way to keep him calm was to do what he had said.

I picked out a plain denim mid-thigh skirt, cotton top and flat sandals, quickly changed into them, put on some lipstick, brushed my hair into something resembling a feminine style, and went back downstairs feeling embarrassed and humiliated.

“That’s better Ellie, the style suits your nature and what you are now doing, much better than your old boys’ clothes, come here and let me have a close look at you.”

He had me turn around and while my back was to him he felt my shoulders and then flicked up the hem of the skirt.

“Those boxer shorts are not appropriate you need to start wearing panties, and a girl your age should be wearing a bra. As you are going to do this, you need to do it properly, no half measures. While you are upstairs changing, do something better with your hair, it is long enough for a much more girly style, put on more makeup, even though Jemma always dressed sloppily in jeans and loose tops she aways had her eyes and lashes made up too. Now run off like a good little girl and sort yourself out properly.”

Back upstairs I found Jemma’s undies drawer where she had left some panties and bras and soon picked out some relatively plain ones that fitted and put them on. While rummaging amongst the bras I found some ‘chicken fillet’ breast enhancers that she had used a few years before when she hadn’t fully developed and placed them in the bra cups, I thought that I had better do that before he had something else to complain about. Five minutes later after putting on eyeliner and mascara, and a bit of shadow, and tying my hair up with a scrunchie into a high pony tail, I went back down.

“Much better, you look a lot like your sister, You were never much of a boy in my eyes, being Ellie is much more appropriate for you, especially considering your role in this house now you’re doing all the woman’s work. Until the end of the school term when you will be old enough to leave, other than when you are at school that is how you will dress. After that you can throw all your boys’ clothes away and get yourself some new things to top up what Jemma has left for you.”

“But Dad, I feel ridiculous, and am not comfortable wearing these clothes, I will be quite happy to do all what you call woman’s work, but making me dress as a girl is taking it too far.”

”You’ll do as you’re told unless you want a good beating. If I hear any more whinging from you, I will burn all your boy’s clothes and you will have to go to school to sit your exams wearing a skirt and makeup, and tell everybody that you now want to be a girl, do you want to do that?”

Rather than keep going back and to for clothes and to do my make up, I moved into Jemma’s room taking only my school clothes to hang in the wardrobe along with what were now my skirts and dresses and learned to adjust my new life as Ellie. My father treated me and talked to me as if I had always been a girl and never made any remarks about my previous life as Ally.

Over the next few weeks as I sat my final exams before leaving school, life went on, although I was beginning get some strange looks from my classmates as I was now using Jemma’s scented soaps and shampoos, which also helped to make my hair much fuller. I was often getting compliments from some of the girls as to how I was grooming myself and found myself invited into their company much more than with the boys, who were gossiping that they thought I was gay and kept their distance from me.

Although I rarely used nail polish at home whenever I did I made sure that all of it and all the rest of my makeup was fully cleaned off, but despite that I couldn’t hide the fact that being with the girls so much I was beginning to adopt many of their gestures attitudes and ways of talking, which just hardened the opinions of the boys towards me. In fact the girls even started to treat me as if I was just another one of them and drew me into their conversations about clothes, makeup, boys and even their feminine problems.

Other than at school,I was now living full-time as a girl, not just around the house, but also when I went out grocery shopping or into town for clothes. I was much more comfortable looking through the racks of girls’ clothes or at the makeup counter dressed as Ellie rather than looking a bit weird dressed as Ally. I was almost caught out one time looking at dresses when two of my classmates who I had become friendly with came over to look at the same rack, asking my opinion on what I thought of the ones they had selected, we starting chatting and they invited me to have a coffee with them.

I was reluctant, worried about being discovered but they were quite persuasive and I joined them.

“I’m Jan and this is Bev, we’ve not seen you around before.”

“I’m Ellie. I’m only visiting my Grannie and getting some shopping in for her.”

As Ally I had often sat at the lunch table with Jan and Bev, so was quite comfortable chatting to them over the coffee, but I was glad to get away from them without being unmasked, and thought to myself that I would have to be a bit more careful in future and not get too chatty with anyone else. It would’ve been good to meet up with them again, some friends to share things with, although obviously not my biggest secret, but it was safest to just keep myself to myself.

One night after Dad had been fairly pleasant to me for a few days, I made him his favourite meal, a 12oz sirloin steak with all the trimming, along with a treacle sponge pudding and custard, what he called ‘proper man’s food’, before tidying up and going to bed, leaving him with a couple of bottles of beer.

I put my clothes on the chair by the dressing table to put them away and changed into the sleep-set of Jemma’s that I had been using since Dad had seen me coming from the bathroom wearing Ally’s pyjamas and removed most of my own stuff. I was just about to clean off my makeup when he burst into the room and sat on the bed next to me.

“Ellie, you have been doing a wonderful job doing all the woman’s work around the house, and doing a better job of it than that bitch of a wife of mine ever did. But there is one duty that you haven’t carried out yet, a man has needs and it is his woman’s job to satisfy those needs. When my wife wouldn’t play anymore I tried it on with Jemma, but your mother heard her shouting at me to leave her alone, rushed in and kept hitting me and forced me to get out of the room and out of her sight. The next morning the pair of them left.”

He grabbed me threw me on the bed and rolled me over onto my stomach and made me get up on my knees. “Just stay there like a good girl, while I drop my trousers, you are going to learn tonight what it is really like to be a woman.”

Scared witless I lashed out at him straightening my leg and caught him really hard between his legs with my foot. He dropped to the floor, clutching his groin and retching from the pain and the nausea. While he was writhing in agony, I picked up the clothes I had been wearing and ran out of the room, stamping him in his groin again before I left. Downstairs I quickly put on a coat over my nightwear, grabbed the shoulder bag I was using which contained my money, keys and some makeup, stuffed my clothes in a shopping bag, slipped into some shoes, slammed the door and ran away as fast as I could. Luckily he didn’t follow me as I made my way to the local 24hr supermarket, went into the washroom and changed back into my clothes, and went into the café to think about what to do next.

Although I had become friendly with some of the girls at school, there was nobody that knew about my double life that I could trust to see me looking like this, and I had nowhere to go.

The counter assistant was quite friendly and chatty as the café was not busy at that time of night and came over and sat next to me when there were no customers queuing up. When I told her that I had to escape from domestic abuse, and get to a safe place, although not the details of who I really was, she agreed to let me sit there as long as I wanted. I stayed there overnight, even when she went off-shift and passed me over to her replacement, occasionally dozing for a while.

From the sympathy I had got in the café, I decided that it might be easier to get people to help me and less likely for any of Dad’s friends to recognise me and tell him where I was, if I stayed dressed as a girl.

In the morning I went back to the house. Seeing that Dad’s car was not there as he must have left for work, I warily went in and checked that the house was empty. I packed a case with a selection of Jemma’s clothes, toiletries and bits and pieces, and also filled a backpack with Ally’s stuff to give me options if the situation arose. In a fit of spite I went to Dad’s room and slashed all his best clothes that he wore when trying to look respectable at the rugby club. only leaving intact a couple of pairs of jeans and tee shirts, his work clothes. All his bottles and cans of beer were emptied into the sink, the empties left strewn over the floor, and the previously prepared meals in the freezer and fridge were thrown into the bin.

There were too many of dad’s drinking friends around our town who if they saw me would be on to him right away, so I decided to get out of the area and made my way to the bus station. I had no idea where I could go and just took the next bus to leave, heading for a town about 40 miles away. The bus soon filled up as it picked up more people at stops on the way and soon a young girl a little older than me, sat down next to me on one of the few spare seats.

“Hi, I’m Carly, Carly Welbeck, are you going all the way.”

“Yes, I think so, to be honest I don’t really know where I am going, I just had to get away and this was the first bus to leave. I’m Ellie Taylor by the way.”

“Are you running away from something?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it, but I need some space away from my father.”

Tears started to form from my eyes and drip down my cheek at the thought of what my father had tried to do to me.

“Here’s a tissue Ellie, dry your eyes. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but has he been abusing you?”

The tears started again as I nodded my head and Carly took hold of my hand to comfort me.

“Mainly mental abuse rather than physical, but I couldn’t stand it any longer.”

“Have you got somewhere to go, relatives or friends that you could stay with?”

“I’ve no idea what to do, my Mam and my sister Jemma left a few weeks ago to get away from his abuse and I haven’t a clue as to where they are now. If they’ve any sense they will have gone to her sister’s place down in Cornwall, but I don’t want to go all the way there on a wild goose chase.”

“If you want a bit of time to sort things out, you would be welcome to stay at my Mum’s. I’m only going home for a weekend break and will be going back to college in a few days.”

“I don’t want to be a nuisance, are you sure that she won’t mind a stranger in her house?”

“She’s used to it, she runs a B&B, so has people in and out all the time, and there are usually some unoccupied rooms.”

We got off a few stops later, collected my case and bag and we were soon at her house a short walk away. It was a big rambling Georgian property with Virginia Creeper almost covering the walls and a large wrap-around garden. A sign by the roadside gate had scrolls of ivy painted around its border encircling the description ‘Ivy Lodge B&B’.

“This looks expensive I’m not sure that I can afford it.”

“Don’t be silly, you are my guest, and if you feel guilty about it, I’m sure that Mum can find you something to do, either here at her Café on the main road.”

“Hi Mum, I’ve brought a friend with me to stay for a while, if that’s ok.” She called out as we entered the large double-height hallway with a sweeping staircase to the upper floors. An attractive woman in her forties came out and gave Carly a big hug.

“Good to see you back Carly, you should come home more often. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Ellie, I met her on the bus, she is having a difficult time and I told her she could stay with us, well really with you, for a while until she sorts herself out. I’ll tell you all about her later, but I’m sure that she could do with being alone for a while.”

“Hello Ellie, I’m Fiona Welbeck, welcome to Ivy Lodge, I’ll show you to your room and we can talk later.” She led me to a large light and airy bedroom with ensuite shower and toilet, with a large vase of flowers on the windowsill, all clean and prepared for the next paying guest.

“Make yourself comfortable, and come down when you are ready, I’ll leave you to settle in.” It was all very professional she was obviously used to greeting paying guests and had her welcome speech already scripted.

I sat there for a while getting my thoughts together and decided that I needed to repay their kindness by at least being polite and going to have a chat. As I was still wearing the clothes that I had worn the day before and had spent the night in the supermarket café they were now looking and smelling a bit well-worn. I had a quick shower, put-on a fresh skirt and top, fixed my makeup, brushed out my hair and feeling a lot more presentable I was ready to go down and face them, hoping that I would be totally believable as a girl.

To be continued.

I sat there for a while getting my thoughts together and decided that I needed to repay their kindness by at least being polite and going to have a chat. As I was still wearing the clothes that I had worn the day before and had spent the night in the supermarket café they were now looking and smelling a bit well-worn I had a quick shower, put-on a fresh skirt and top, fixed my makeup, brushed out my hair and feeling a lot more presentable I was ready to go down and face them, hoping that I would be totally believable as a girl.

They were down in the kitchen/diner and as I walked in Mrs Welbeck came over and gave me a big hug. “You poor girl, Ellie. Carly has told me what little she knows about you, it’s awful that your father seems such a brute and has treated you, your mother, and sister so badly. You are safe here as long as you want. Sit down, I’ll get you a coffee and you can tell me more about what you have suffered.”

“This is difficult for me Mrs Welbeck, I don’t know where to start.”

“Please call me Fiona, Mrs Welbeck is what people call my mother-in-law. I usually find that the best place to start is at the beginning.”

Other than the fact that I was really Ally Taylor, not Ellie Taylor, I told them about the years of mental abuse in my childhood, constantly being berated and humiliated by my father, and the physical and mental abuse my mother suffered at his hands, particularly when he was full of drink, which was quite often.

“It got even worse after Mam and Jemma left, suddenly all the household chores were down to me, and when things weren’t to his satisfaction he slapped me around a little and became even more controlling and abusive, sometimes beating me until I did as he wanted. The final straw was when he tried to rape me, saying that he had his needs and that it was down to me to satisfy them for him since Mam and Jemma had left him. I managed to get away from him and now I’ve ended up here.”

“Oh, you poor poor girl. Have you reported him to the police or Social Services, he deserves to be punished.”

“It would do no good, he has a lot of friends in the police that he plays rugby with and the Social Services are a waste of time, they have far too much to deal with and nobody gets the proper attention. There was no choice but to get away from it all.”

“You are welcome to stay here, I need someone to help keep this place spic and span for unexpected guests, and could always do with another waitress down the café. I’ll give you a small allowance as well as free board and lodging. How does that sound?”

“That’s very kind of you Mrs… sorry Fiona, I’ll be happy to help. As I have said, I have been keeping house and cooking at home for a while now and have a fair idea of what to do.”
“That’s all agreed then, there is nobody else staying here tonight or tomorrow, so in the morning you can come with me to the café, it’s an early start mind, we open for breakfast at 8:00. We all wear a sort of uniform, white blouse and black skirt with plain flat black shoes, Have you anything suitable with you?”

“I’m ok with the skirt and shoes, but only have casual cotton tops not a white blouse.”

“That’s no problem you can have some of mine that I wore when I helped out, they aren’t my personal style and have been in the wardrobe for a while. You may want to hang one up in the bathroom overnight to freshen it up and drop out the creases.” Carly volunteered, glad that she would not have to get up early to go in with her mother.

The rest of the evening, after we helped Fiona prepare dinner, we spent watching TV and casually chatting, mainly with me listening in while Carly and her mam caught up with each other’s lives.

“It’s been a long day and I’m feeling tired, it’s time for my bed.” I said as I rose and bid them goodnight.

“Don’t forget we open at 8:00 in the morning and need to leave here at about 7:30, have a good sleep and make sure that you are ready on time.”

Having not really slept the night before in the supermarket and having tossed and turned most nights before that, worried about Mam and Jemma, I had a welcome long and undisturbed sleep. I was rudely awaked when my phone alarm went off at 6:30, which was when I normally got up to prepare Dad’s breakfast and see him off to work before getting changed for school. I was soon washed made up and dressed ready to join Fiona at the café. As I had been doing when cooking at home, I tied my hair up in a loose high pony tail to keep it off my face and tidy as I would be serving food and found Fiona waiting for me downstairs.

“You look really smart Ellie. I like the way you have done your hair and your makeup is not overdone, exactly the right image.”

When we got to the café, Jenny, the cook, already had the place opened up, the big range warming up, and the food out of the fridge ready to start cooking. Linda, the waitress, was busy dressing the tables, waiting for the the first customer and their orders. There was only time for quick introductions to Jenny and Linda, and for Fiona to run through my duties before we opened up and the first customers started arriving.

I was kept busy for the rest of the morning and was glad when it was time for a break and for me to have something to eat myself between the breakfast rush and the lunchtime trade. By then I was becoming used to being called ‘dear’ or ‘darling’ and dealing with customers as Ellie and just getting on with my work, not really having time to think about my problems and the fact that I was looking and acting like any other girl.

Late afternoon, a police car pulled up and two officers came into the café, causing me to panic, a little worried that they had somehow found out where I was and had come to take me back.

“Hi Glen, hi Bob, usual is it?” Linda greeted them with a warm smile.

“Thanks Linda we always get a warm welcome and a nice smile here, that’s why we keep coming back for our break. Just coffees and toasted teacakes today, and throw in a scone and jam too.” Glen replied giving Linda a cheeky pat on her backside.

“You know Glen, I could get you arrested for that.” She said playfully.

“You know you couldn’t do that, you’d miss our happy smiling faces and banter and you would be miserable all day.”

“Do you think so? I’ll send Ellie over with your coffee while I sort out the rest of the order.” she left them with an exaggerated sway of her hips as she walked back to the counter.

“Ellie, two Lattes for our friends in blue over there, and be extra nice to them, they are regulars and are good tippers.”

“There you are officers, your teacakes and scones will be a few minutes.”

“No need for ‘officers’, I’m Glen, this is Bob, we’ve not seen you here before and you are…?”

“It’s Ellie, I’ve just started here today.”

“It’s good that there is now a pleasant pretty young waitress again, it’s not been the same since Carly moved away, Linda’s ok but she can be a bit feisty sometimes.” Bob joined in the chat, causing my cheeks to flush a little, I just smiled and left to deal with another customer.

As they got up to leave later Bob called me over. “Is Fi about we need to have a word with her.”

“What can I do for you boys today?” Fiona greeted them as she left the kitchen and walked over to them.

“This bit is official Fi, so ‘officers’ might be more appropriate than ‘boys’.”

“In that case Mrs Welbeck might be better too.” She replied with a smile showing that she was only playing with them.

“We’ve been asked to keep a lookout for a young boy Alistair or Ally Taylor, fifteen getting on sixteen, long hair, quite slim and short. He assaulted his father who needed medical treatment in hospital, and trashed the house before running off, can you keep an eye out for him? His father is really worried that he might come to some harm, we are spreading the word as a favour to some friends of his in their local force.”

Back at Ivy Lodge later after the café closed, Fiona ushered Ellie into her office and closed the door.

“When Glen told me about the runaway boy, the colour drained from your face and you couldn’t wait to get back into the kitchen. What do you know about all this?”

I couldn’t speak, I was so confused and upset and just sat staring at her.

“It’s all lies, he was trying to rape me and I just defended myself rather than assaulting him, and as for being concerned about my welfare, all he wants is for me to go back to looking after all his needs, and I mean ALL his needs.”

“Ok Ellie, or Ally, whichever, calm down, your secret is safe with me. Now I know who you are, do you want to get some boy’s’ clothes and clean off the makeup.”

“To be honest I’ve been wearing girls’ clothes and makeup almost all the time since Mam and Jemma left and I’ve got used to them now. As long as people are looking for Ally, it might be best if I stay as Ellie.”

I told her the full story about my father treating me like a girl after Mam and Jemma left insisting that I wear skirts or dresses and makeup and do all the ‘woman’s work’ around the house. Things got even worse leading up to the attempted rape. Somehow I disabled him with a sharp kick in the groin and stamping on him there again before making my escape, and he has people convinced that I assaulted him.

“That is appalling, the beast deserves to be locked up and the key thrown away, not getting his friends in the police to drag you back to that life.”

“Now you know the truth do you want me to leave?”

“Don’t be silly Ellie, and note the name I just called you, as far as i'm concerned that is who you are, I told you when you arrived that you are welcome to stay as long as you need. You don’t have to stay as Ellie all the time, but it will help you to stay in character if you do, changing back and forth to Ally will only get confusing for both of us. Nobody else needs to know, not even Carly, but it would be nice if you could trust her too.”

“She’s only here for a couple more days, let’s leave her until next time she is home, I should be a lot more settled and comfortable by then.”

“So, is Ellie here to stay?”

“For the time being yes, until I can get something sorted out with my family.”

“Don’t worry about being discovered, you still have a few rough edges in the way you look and behave, but then none of us is perfect. You worked in the café all day, mixed well and confidently with all the customers, with Linda and Jenny, nobody saw you as anything other than a pleasant young and attractive girl. Keep it up and you will have no problems, even Glen and Bob were a bit flirty with you. If you ever feel that you need to talk to the police, I’ve known those two for years and they are as honest and trustworthy as they come.”

Carly went back to college after a few days, in one way I was sorry to see her leave she had become a good friend, but I was glad that I didn’t have to be so careful about what I said or did around the Lodge.

For the next two weeks I was kept busy in the café and preparing the B&B rooms for guests, adjusting to life in public as a girl. Mondays and Fridays were the busiest times for the café with people travelling away for the weekend or returning to work, whereas the B&B was usually fullest over the weekend, so it all fitted together quite nicely, leaving midweek as the days to not work, relax and explore the area.

Everything was going smoothly, too smoothly, until one Wednesday after I had been giving the Lodge a good clean, Fiona came back home looking upset in an agitated state.

“Your father came into the café today, someone suggested to him that you left town on a bus heading in this direction and he’s calling at all the stops on the way showing photos of you, obviously as Ally, and asking if anyone has seen you. Naturally I played dumb but he was obviously becoming frustrated at getting nowhere and he became quite pushy bad-tempered and foul-mouthed. He ranted on about women and how they never appreciated how hard their man worked for them and when he eventually found what he called ‘his bitches of wife and daughter and their feeble excuse for a son’ they would suffer for what they had put him through. I was really worried that he was going to take out his frustration on me, but he left slamming the door behind him. I can easily visualise him taking it further and mistreating you all.

However, although you are now quite convincing as Ellie, perhaps because I know the truth, I could see similarities between you and the photos, although it would not be obvious to anyone else. I think that you need to change your image so that nobody else makes a link. Nothing too drastic, a change of hairstyle and colour, with different makeup, would all make a deal of difference and you would be unrecognisable. What do you think?”

“When my father gets a notion in his mind, he can be so stubborn he’s not going to give up. If you think that it could alter me that much let’s get it done, the less I look like Ally the better.”

The next day I prepared to spend most of the afternoon in a salon that Fiona often visited.

“This is my new assistant Ellie, she has just left school and is a bit of a frump to be out in the big adult world, she’d like a totally different image, can you work your magic with her Lorraine?”

“Hmm, let me think, is a bit punky too far out for you to have her in the café.”

“OK but not too extreme, I’ll leave you to it, give me a ring when she is ready to be collected.”

When I was ready to leave the salon, my hair had been tinted from a dark, almost black, brown to a light golden auburn with pale pink sun-streaks, trimmed to collar-length, styled with loose soft curls which despite all the work looked like it needed a good brush. My makeup was a lot more vivid with much heavier eye-liner drawn in a cat’s eye upturned at the outer corners, pale mauve shadow on the lids and with eyelash extensions heavily coated with mascara, my nails had been fitted with acrylic extensions, coloured, along with my lips, to match the lilac eye shadow. The upside was that I now looked in no way similar to my previous image and even less so to Ally, the downside was that I was much more noticeable and memorable.

Lorraine gave Fiona a call to come and collect me, and ten minutes later she arrived, walked straight past me to ask Lorraine where I was. She pointed over to where I was sitting, Fiona turned looked past me then stopped and did a double take.

“Ellie? My god, you look so different, I recognised the clothes you have on before I realised that it was you. I know that I told Lorraine to give you a change of image, but I never thought that she would go this far. I’m not complaining, I love the look, I just wish I was 20-odd years younger and could carry off a look like that.”

“That style is easily manageable, a quick brush each morning and it will look as good as new, if you have any problems Ellie, give me a call for another appointment.” Lorraine told me as we left.

Back at the Lodge, there was a parcel on the doorstep , Fiona picked it up saying “I’ve a surprise for you, it’s part of your new image, let’s get inside, get the kettle on for a coffee and open it up.”

We were sitting at the kitchen breakfast bar when she opened the parcel and plonked two large lumps of skin-toned gel on the bar.

“Before your makeover I thought that you still looked like a young schoolgirl, and as part of your new image I thought it would be better if you looked a bit more mature. Those enhancers have done the job to get you used to having breasts, but these are a couple of cup sizes bigger and will give you a much more prominent bust-line making you look older, as well as leaving no doubt that you are a girl. Take off your top and bra and I will fix them on for you.”

“Fix them on?”

“Of course, they will be much more realistic looking If they are glued on, and to all intents and purposes will move as you walk around, almost as if they were natural. Although they will be stuck on, they can be removed if you want, but it will help you to get used to them if you just leave them in place all the time.”

“I suppose that you are right, the less I have any resemblance to Ally, the less likely that I will be recognised, let’s do it.”

“Five minutes later I stood up feeling the weight of the breasts pulling on my skin, looking down at the big lumps on my chest.”

‘Obviously those junior bras you have been wearing will no longer fit and support you properly, you are now about the same size as Carly, I’ll get one of her’s from upstairs. Rather than a plain cotton one like I had been wearing, she came back with a fancy mauve lacy one. That will do until we can get you measured up and some of your own in the right size, let’s get it on, you will feel a lot more comfortable with a bit of support.

“Are you sure that these are the right size for me, they feel and look enormous?”

“That’s where we girls have the advantage over you, for us it all happens gradually and we have time to get used to the changes, but you have been thrown in at the deep end. Don’t worry, you will soon get used to them and forget all about them, they will become as much part of your body now as any other part. With the extra weight on your chest you are stooping forward, you look like you are trying to hide the fact that you have breasts. Don’t be ashamed or worried about what they look like, put your shoulders back, puff out your chest and be proud of your new assets. With a bit of luck you should now get a lot more tips in the café, particularly from the truckers and male reps that come in, they all appreciate a well-endowed girl. Go for a walk around the garden or down into the village, get used to the weight and movement on your chest. When you go into work tomorrow, you’ll just have to behave as if your breasts have always been there, and get on with serving the customers without being conscious of them.”

Fiona was right, at first I felt embarrassed at the constant sway and rise and fall of the breasts, worrying that they were so noticeable, but soon realised looking around that I was no different to every other woman and girl I passed on my walk, it was now just another part of my life as Ellie.

“How is the bra, does it feel comfortable? You’ll be amazed at how many of us women have never been properly measured up and wear bras that are totally unsuitable, the wrong band size or cup size, not giving proper support or being too tight and pinching the flesh. If that seems ok for you, rather than buy new ones just see if Carly has left any more that you like.”

I was a bit self-conscious going into work in the morning, but Linda and Jenny gushed over my new look.

“Oh, I love your new image, if I was just 10 years younger I could go for that.”

“That’s a super hairstyle, it looks so easy to manage, I might try something like that, only without the pink streaks.”

“Now you’re letting your puppies loose instead of hiding them, undo the next two buttons on your blouse, show a bit more flesh and cleavage, you’ve got it girl, flaunt it.”

It all helped me to relax and just get on with serving the customers as if I was no different to before. As Fiona had suggested, with my bigger breasts staining the cloth of the blouse a bit more, and with a perkier attitude to go with my new look, the tip box looked a lot fuller than usual and at the end of the day we were all extremely happy with our little bonus.

A police car pulled up at the front of the café and Glen and Bob came in for the usual coffee and cake break. They spotted me and took a few minutes to realise who I was, only finally being sure when I went over to take their order.

“Hi guys, what can I do for you today?”

“ Don’t ask leading questions like that Ellie, we are both happily married men.” Glen quickly replied with a cheeky grin, causing my cheeks to blush as I realised what he meant.

“Behave yourself Glen.” I said as I leaned over the table to give them a better view of my cleavage. “That’s not considered very PC nowadays, apart from anything else I am far too young for you.” causing Bob to burst out laughing. I took their order and went back to the counter, making sure that they had a good view of my exaggerated hip sway as I walked.”

“You’ll be ok with those two flirting like that, they are ok and just having a bit of a laugh, but don’t play it up so much with other customers, particularly younger ones, you might cause a bit of bother.” Linda gave me a bit of motherly advice.

As they were leaving Bob suddenly stopped. “I almost forgot to tell you something. Remember a few weeks ago we asked about a missing boy, Ally Taylor, he’s still not been found but we are not looking too hard for him anymore. His father got too drunk down at the Rugby club and started mouthing off about how his family had all left him and that if he ever got them back he would let them know who was the master of the house and knock some sense into them, particularly ‘his bitch of a wife and the little wimp that he was ashamed to call his son’. He was taken in to the station to sober up, but still kept ranting about what he was going to do to them. Soon it all came out about how he had abused his family and he is currently in custody charged with domestic and child abuse and threatening behaviour. If we ever find his wife daughter or son, there is no way that he will ever be allowed to get in touch with them or live with them again.”

Fiona came over as they were telling us all this. “You need to have words with his local police and keep him locked up. He was in here the other day, mouthing off and making all sorts of threats, I was worried that he was going to have a go at me, a vile unpleasant man.”

“I doubt that he will come back but if he does, call us immediately. It seems that someone took offence at what he had been doing to his family and gave him a dose of his own medicine and he ended up in hospital again, Even his friends in the local force are not looking too hard for who gave him a severe beating, although they are fairly certain that it was some of the guys from the rugby club. They are a weird lot, they think nothing of knocking seven bells hell out of each other on the pitch, but don’t take kindly to anyone being violent off the pitch particularly abusing women and children. If any of the family ever come in here give us a call. Love the new look by the way Ellie, it suits you.”

We were exceptionally busy for the rest of the day and I didn’t get a chance to really talk to Fiona, so over dinner that evening, we talked about what Bob had said and I told her that it had taken a heavy weight off my mind.

“So now that it seems like that you have nothing to worry about from your father anymore, there is no need for you to stay disguised. If you want to become Ally again, you are still more than welcome to stay here, I’ve got used to having you around.”

“To be honest I have got used to being Ellie, and it would be a shame to waste all the money you have spent on me for the makeover and my boobs, if it’s ok with you, I’ll just stay as Ellie for the moment until I get things clear in my mind.”

To be continued.

“So Ellie, now that you know that you have nothing to worry about from your father anymore, there is no need for you to stay disguised. If you want to become Ally again, you are still more than welcome to stay here, I’ve got used to having you around.” Fiona gave me a choice.

“To be honest I have got used to being Ellie, and it would be a shame to waste all the money you have spent on me for the makeover and my boobs, if it’s ok with you, I’ll just stay here as Ellie for the moment until I get things clear in my mind.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The days soon turned into weeks and I continued to live and work as Ellie and settled into life at Ivy Lodge. Fiona and Carly became the nearest I had as family until somehow I could find Mam and Jemma. It just seemed right to fit in with them and live as Ellie, which no longer seemed strange to me, it was who I had now become. Now I was not needing to hide from my father, I toned down the makeup quite a lot to again look like a normal 16-year-old girl, instead of the more dramatic punky version created by Lorraine, but I quite liked my hair so that stayed golden auburn with pale pink streaks.

A few weeks later I was shocked to see Mam and Jemma come into the café and until I could calm myself down, I said nothing, just took and served their orders for coffee and sandwiches. After their meal Mam called me over and asked to see the manager, so I fetched Fiona and left them to it, trying to overhear their conversation from behind the servery counter.

“I’m Fiona Welbeck, the owner and manager, how can I help you?”

“I wonder if you could help us, I’m trying to find my son, who fled from abuse by my husband a few months ago. I’ve been told that it’s thought that he took a bus in this direction and I am going to every stop on the way to see if anyone ever saw him, his name is Ally Taylor or Alistair to be correct and he’s sixteen, here’s a photo of him.”

“A few weeks ago we had someone else asking about him, a big stocky and abusive, short-tempered man.”

“That sounds like Harry, my soon-to-be ex-husband. He got nowhere with his searches, but he is not the pleasantest of men and wouldn’t actually encourage anyone to tell him if they knew anything. He was arrested for drunken and threatening behaviour and once the police learned the truth about why Ally left him, they charged him with child abuse. They managed to trace me at the women’s refuge where we are staying and Jemma and I have been looking for him ever since. It worried me that we had to leave him with Harry, but Jemma and I had to get away for our own safety, always intending to return to fetch Ally when we were able to as the refuge would not allow us to bring him with us.”

“Just wait there for a moment please, there is something I need to attend to.”

Fiona came over and led me into the kitchen.

“I assume that you heard all that. I’m surprised that you just treated them like any other customer, do you not want them to know that you are here?”

“Off course, I just wanted to rush over and give them long hugs, but I was just taken by surprise and panicked, afraid of what they would think of the way I am now living.”

“Do you want to come over with me and I’ll tell them that they have now found you?”

“But what are they going to think of me looking like this, it’ll be a big shock to them and they may not like what they see.”

“What’s not to like, you’re a pleasant young attractive girl. They have been spending a lot of time and effort searching high and low for you, do you not think that they will be so delighted to have found you that anything else will not matter?”

“Sorry about that Mrs Taylor, I think can help you. I’d like to introduce you to Ellie, you know her as Ally.” She told them as she called me over.

Jemma was the first to react, her eyes widened and she jumped up, ran over to me and threw her arms around me, bursting into tears. Mam followed soon behind and the three of us were hugging kissing and crying, getting inquisitive stares from the few other customers.

“Ellie, grab your coat and bag, take your mum and sister back to the Lodge and you can have a good long chat to tell them everything that has happened.” Fiona almost pushed us out of the door, trying to get the café back to normality.

Very little was said in the car driving back to Ivy Lodge, as we were all deep in thought, mentally getting to grips with being back together again, but were soon settled in the guests’ lounge with coffee and cakes.

“I’m sorry you had to discover me like this, you must be wondering how to deal with me.”

“Don’t worry about that, the main thing is that we have found you. Tell me how my son now appears to be my daughter, and a very attractive one at that. Now I can relate to you, I can see that you and Jemma are very alike, I don’t know how I didn’t recognise you when you served at our table.’

“That’s easy to understand, you wouldn’t have expected your waitress in a skirt with big breasts, makeup and tinted hair to be your son would you.”

“Are those real?” Jemma cheekily asked staring at my breasts.

“Jemma, don’t be so rude.” Mam snapped at her.

“It’s alright, I was half expecting that. No they are not real, but I’ve grown accustomed to living with them and they are almost a natural part of me now, along with the clothes hair and makeup.”

“Now Ally, or Ellie if you prefer, tell me from the beginning everything that has happened to you.”
Mam held my hand and kept staring at me, looking me up and down trying to take in my new appearance.”

“Let’s just keep it as Ellie for the moment, if I start thinking myself as Ally, I will only get confused.

It all started after you had to get away, and I know why you needed to do that and don’t blame you for leaving me behind . Dad told me that all the household duties, cooking, shopping, cleaning, ‘woman’s work’ as he called it, were now my responsibility, and when I complained or if anything wasn’t to his liking I got a lot of abuse, usually just a tongue lashing, but sometimes a few slaps or a beating. He then decided that as I was doing all the woman’s work that I should look like one too and insisted, except when I was at school, that I should always dress in clothes Jemma had left behind and wear makeup.

It developed from there and with him insisting that my name was now Ellie to suit the role in life he had forced on me, I came to accept it and soon I was so used to it that I thought nothing of going down to the shops or for a walk around town as Ellie, just glad to get away from him. It all came to an end one night when he came into my bedroom, telling me that he had physical needs and that it was now my job, as the woman of the house, to satisfy him. He tried to rape me, but luckily I managed to give him a couple of frenzied kicks to his manhood and while he was recovering I escaped from the house.”

“Oh, you poor thing, if I had known he was going to treat you like that, I would’ve just sent Jemma away and stayed to protect you from him, I would rather he mistreated me than abuse you.” She managed to say through her tears and sobbing, squeezing my hand tightly. “How did you end up here living and working as a girl, surely once you had got away, you could have put on your boys’ clothes again.”

“I thought that there would be less chance of any of Dad’s drinking friends recognising me and reporting back to him if I stayed in my skirt and makeup until I got out of town. I got talking to a girl on the bus, Carly, Fiona’s daughter, and when she heard about my father’s abuse of me, she insisted that I stayed here at Ivy Lodge until I got things sorted out. Although Fiona soon found out the truth about me, and later told Carly, she had got used to me being around helping here and in the café, and I had got used to the feelings of comfort and safety, and the way I was now dressing, that it all just drifted on from then. Fiona has been really good to me, she has been looking after me as if I was another daughter for her, and to be honest she likes my company now that Carly is away at college. I definitely fell on my feet when I met Carly on the bus.”

“Are you truly comfortable with life’s as a girl, you really look and act the part, but honestly do you not feel weird.” Jemma jumped in with another big question, getting a disapproving look from Mam.

“To be honest Jemma, I don’t really think about it anymore. I just wake up get dressed and ready for work and get on with things, I don’t even think that I am doing anything other than normal behaviour. Look we all have a lot to think about and loads more to talk through, we are not busy here this week why not stay for a few days for us to sort things out. I’ll prepare two of the guest rooms for you, go and get your things out of the car and get freshened up and settled in.”

While they were sorting themselves out in their rooms, I chopped up some veg and chicken breasts into a casserole dish for later when Fiona got back, I was more comfortable keeping myself busy than doing nothing but think about what was happening.

Jemma soon joined me in the kitchen while Mam stayed upstairs having a rest.

“This is going to sound weird, and it’s not something I thought would ever happen, but we have only come out for the day and don’t have a change of clothes, have you got anything I can borrow to change into, something clean and fresh? I feel awkward as I am not used to having a sister, which is more or less what you are now, and it’s what sisters do, swap clothes and accessories and things.”

“Not a problem Jemma. A lot of the stuff I have is yours anyway, that I salvaged when I returned to the house when he wasn’t around. I’ll show you where my room is and leave you to have a browse through the wardrobe and drawers. If it’s your stuff, and it still fits, you can keep it.”

A half-hour later she came back down, gone were the Jeans and cotton top, she had found one of her old dresses, a sleeveless cream shift just above the knee, had brushed out her ponytail so that her hair was hanging loose over her shoulders and she had raided my makeup table.

“My god Jemma, you really scrub up well, I can hardly remember you wearing a dress except for special occasions or if you were going out on a date, you look really beautiful.”

“Well I couldn’t be outdone by my baby sister could I Ellie? Come back upstairs get out of your work clothes and we’ll pick out something for you, after all it is a bit of a celebration tonight.”

“I usually now wore skirts and tops, very rarely a dress, but Jemma insisted that I put on one I had bought for myself, a light floral nipped-waist midi dress that I thought was quite summery and feminine. Without a second thought I stripped off my blouse and bra, causing Jemma to catch her breath when she saw the breast forms hanging on my chest.

“I know that you said that the breast forms were almost part of you now, but I didn’t realise that they were permanently fixed, it’s almost as if you have somehow suddenly grown your own.”

“Why look so shocked Jemma I’m sure that you have seen other girl’s breasts before in the changing rooms at school.”

“True, but not on you.” she giggled.

I put on a fresh bra, one of the more lacy ones that had belonged to Jemma, but turned my back as I changed into matching panties, I had to draw the line somewhere, slipped into my dress, freshened my makeup and was ready to go.

“Hey you have turned out not so bad yourself Ellie, in many ways you are now a younger version of me, let’s go show Mam her two beautiful daughters.”

When we knocked on her bedroom door, Mam was already up and about again, but nearly fell over with surprise when she saw the two of us all dressed up.

“You two are gorgeous, I feel such a frump in these jeans and top.”

“Fiona is due back soon, if I ask her nicely she might be able to find something for you to change into. It’s a good excuse for us all, Fiona included, to glam up a bit and celebrate our family reunion.”

I didn’t even have to ask Fiona, when she saw Jemma and me all dressed up and Mum in the jeans she had been wearing all day looking for me, she took Mam’s hand and led her upstairs, “Come on Caroline, let’s find some glad rags for ourselves we can’t let the girls outshine us.”

They were upstairs a long time but when they came back downstairs, our jaws dropped and our eyes widened in surprise, Fiona and Mam were both dressed in slinky, figure-hugging cocktail dresses, their hair brushed out, curled and styled, and both beautifully made-up.

“Gosh Mum,” I spluttered, I can’t remember ever seeing you look so gorgeous.”

“Your father never liked me to be dressed too fancy and with too much make-up, he thought that it would encourage me to flirt with other men, it’s a nice feeling to look feminine and glamorous for a change.”

“Right you two, Caroline and I have been talking upstairs. Since we are all dressed up, let’s not waste it. There is a lovely little restaurant down in the village, I phoned up to make a reservation, get your things together we are having a celebration night out, your casserole smells delicious, but it will be ok in the fridge until tomorrow.”

We had a wonderful night out together, Mam, Jemma and I had a lot of catching up to do and Fiona was a keen listener, chipping in occasionally with how she had met me, and got used to having me around, almost as a second daughter. It was a much more relaxed and sociable atmosphere than if we had stayed at the Lodge and eaten in the pleasant but a bit lacking-in-character guest breakfast room or in our kitchen/diner. We had a corner table away from other diners and were able to talk freely and admire the view over the river to the hills and moors beyond.

“Are you still in the refuge Caroline.” asked Fiona.

“I would like to return home, but until Harry is locked up, or there is at least a restraining order stopping him coming near us, I wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable going back there.”

“Why not stay here at the Lodge, it’s rarely that all the rooms are taken, and Ellie and you still need to sort yourselves out and decide what you want to do.”

“ I couldn’t impose on you Fiona, and I can’t afford to pay you to stay here.”

“Don’t be silly, as we keep saying Ellie is now almost one of the family and you are her family, so you are more than welcome. Besides next week I have a block booking from guests attending a wedding in the village church, for eight of the rooms. Normally when I am busy like that Carly tries to come home to help out, but she has some exams and can’t get back this time, so it would be a big favour to me if you could stay to help out for that. If you are happy running the place I can concentrate on the café, Ellie can work there with me, and you and Jemma can prepare the rooms and do breakfast, it’ll make my life a lot easier. What about the refuge, are you ok to leave there?”

“To be honest I think that they will be happy for us to leave, they are full up at the moment and are having to turn people away, they’ll be glad to get our room back for someone desperately in need.”

“Right, it is agreed, in the morning go back there and get all your stuff and move into your rooms here, I’m sure that they will be more comfortable than what you have now. It’s one of Ellie’s days at the Lodge so she can show you the ropes, where everything is and what needs doing.”

After breakfast, while I tidied the place up, Mam and Jemma went off to collect their stuff and say their goodbyes. They were soon back, settled in and looking forward to learning the ropes of how the Lodge was managed and operated.and getting into a routine dealing with guests, taking bookings and registering cold-callers, they were glad to be busy again after spending so much time searching for me. They had got used to me being Ellie, Mam was just concerned that I was safe and happy, Jemma was delighted to have me as a sister that she could share confidences and clothes with. How I looked and acted was the least of their worries. Mam being around all day to handle phone calls or people turning up at the door when Fiona and I were down at the café meant that the guest numbers were rising and at times we had to disappoint potential guests when we were full up.

‘Hi Carly, we weren’t expecting you, but it’s good to see you again, how have you been keeping, did your exams go ok?” I gushed a bit, as I gave her a long hug so glad to see her back home.”

“Hey don’t hug so tight, I can hardly breathe. This is the first chance I’ve had to get back, and I just had to come and meet your mum and Jemma, Mum’s told me so much about them and how they have settled in here.”

“Let’s get your things up to your room, even when we are full it’s still kept there just for your use, or if we’re really busy, I give up my room and move in for a few days, guests are not allowed in there. When you have sorted yourself out, I’ll be down in the kitchen with Mam and Jemma, they’ll be delighted to meet you as the girl who turned my life around.”

When she came down, Mam and Jemma rushed over to her and group-hugged her, with tears forming in Mam’s eyes. “Thank you so much Carly, you could have just ignored Ellie on the bus, leaving her to end up God knows where, it was so kind of you to bring her to your home.”

“No need for that it’s been a delight to have a little sister, and now it seems that I have two, nice to meet you Jemma.”

While Mum and I busied ourselves about the house, Jemma and Carly went off to Carly’s room to get to know each other better, and probably gossip and share their thoughts on me and my changed life.

“Come on upstairs with us Ellie,” Jemma said when they came back down later, “your big sisters are taking you out for a night on the town, You’ve been hiding yourself away in here since you arrived, it’s time that you learned the delights of getting glammed up and having a night on the pull.”

“I don’t want to go ‘on the pull’ as you so crudely put it, don’t forget, despite what I look and act like, that I am not a girl.”

“Don’t be daft, we just mean a bit of dancing, a bit of flirting , maybe even a bit of snogging, you don’t have to drop your panties for the first boy that takes an interest in you. If you are going to keep living as a girl, you need to learn to relax and enjoy yourself like the rest of us.

To be continued.

“Come on upstairs with us Ellie,” Jemma said when they came back down later, “your big sisters are taking you out for a night on the town, You’ve been hiding yourself away in here since you arrived, it’s time that you learned the delights of getting glammed up and having a night on the pull.”

“I don’t want to go ‘on the pull’ as you so crudely put it, don’t forget, despite what I look and act like, that I am not a girl.”

“Don’t be daft, we just mean a bit of dancing, a bit of flirting , maybe even a bit of snogging, you don’t have to drop your panties for the first boy that takes an interest in you. If you are going to keep living as a girl, you need to learn to relax and enjoy yourself like the rest of us.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mam was a bit reluctant to let me go out with them, but they promised to look after me and not let me get into dangerous situations. A bit later, wearing a dress that stretched tightly across my bust and flared from my waist to a hem not far below my panties, and full evening-out makeup, I edged warily down the stairs tottering on unfamiliar 4” heels, followed by the girls who were dressed in even more revealing outfits

Mam and Fiona took one look at us, rolling their eyes.

“Be careful that you don’t get the wrong attention, and that applies to all three of you, not just to Ellie, dressed like that boys could get the wrong idea and think that you will be easy.” Mum gave us a stern warning look.”

“Where we are going we might even seem a bit overdressed, there will be girls a lot more likely to get the wrong attention than we will get.” Carly cheekily replied as we flounced out to her car.

“Look, you two know the damage that too much booze can cause, and I am driving and will have to stay sober, let’s keep to the soft drinks, we can still have a good time.” Carly suggested.

We started off in a couple of music bars, keeping to mocktails, but otherwise chatting to boys who Carly and Jemma were mildly flirting with, and gradually I followed their leads, and soon learned the dangers of very short tight dresses and accidental hand brushes acres my bottom or bust, but made sure that was as far as it went. Three of the lads asked us to join them at a nearby club, where we were intending to go anyway, which saved us the expense of paying the entry fee ourselves.

Jim, that I was paired with, was the quietest and shyest of the three of them, and luckily was the perfect gentleman, almost, not being quite as hands-on as the two of his friends who seemed to be groping Carly and Jemma as they danced, but the girls didn’t seem to be objecting too much.

Every now and again the DJ played a slow smoochy number and I found myself being pulled in by my hips closely to Jim who was obviously expected a kiss and possibly even more. I panicked, not knowing how to react and fled from the dance floor to the safety of the ladies toilets, where I sat down, locked the cubicle door, and tried to compose myself. A few minutes later there was a knock on the cubicle door.

“Ellie are you in there.” whispered Jemma

“I am, leave me alone for a few minutes.”

“Stop messing about, open up and let’s go somewhere not too busy and have a chat.”

We found a relatively quiet corner well away from the bars and dance floor and sat silently for a few minutes.

“What happened, did he grope you or try it on?”

“Not really, there is nothing to cause a fuss with him about, it is just me. He pulled me in close and went to kiss me, and I could feel him getting aroused, I panicked, not knowing what to do.”

“Look Ellie, all us girls have been there, the first time a boy had pushed towards us for a snog, and the first time we have felt an erection in a boy’s trousers, we have all panicked, it doesn’t mean that they are about to pull your panties down, it is all just part of the flirting game. Get yourself back out there and go back to Jim, have a laugh and a dance with him. Just tell him that it is not a good time for you, the time of the month, and you are feeling a bit off. He’ll calm it down a bit, boys are even more embarrassed about periods than we are and it’s usually a turn off for them. I’ll keep an eye on you and if it starts getting heavy again give me a little finger wave and we’ll all go back home.”

I rejoined Jim, apologised for rushing off and after that we just had a good time together. At the end of the night there was another slow number, but this time I was more relaxed and let him pull me towards him until I tilted my head back to look up at him and our lips touched. It was like an electric shock for me and surprisingly I felt elated and excited rather than the panic I had felt before. We stayed close like that for the rest of the dance until the main lights came on to chase people out, and Carly came over to tell me we were leaving. I gave Jim a hug and another quick kiss, leaving him looking a bit disappointed that I hadn’t offered to give him my phone number, and followed Carly and Jemma back to the car.

“Did you enjoy your girls’ night out then Ellie? You seemed to be having a good time with Jim, you looked like you didn’t want to let go of him.” Jemma asked with a big grin.

“Yes I did, but I get the feeling that I cramped your style a little bit, truthfully if I hadn’t been with you would you have gone off with your two lads?”

“Let’s just say that I was getting a bit worked up, but tonight was not the night for it, as I said before, you need to experience life as a girl and it’s my job to help you along the way. Besides good girls never go all the way on the first date, not until you sober up the next morning and think about whether you want to get to know them better. By the way clean up your lipstick smears and reapply it, you don’t want Mam to get the wrong idea.”

The excitement and confusion of the night out left me tossing and turning in my bed for a long time until eventually I dropped off to sleep. Waking up the next morning I looked at my bedside clock, it was almost 10:00, I was supposed to be at the café hours ago. I quickly dressed and made my way to the kitchen to grab a coffee before I rushed off, only to find Jemma and Carly sitting there waiting for me.

“Good morning sleepyhead, calm down, there’s no rush. Mam has gone in with Fiona to help out in the café, you are working here today. We told them that you were just a bit exhausted after a late night and too much dancing, we never mentioned your big goodnight kiss with Jim though, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”Jemma told me as she brought over coffee and toast.

“What did you think of your first girls’ night out with us then Ellie, you seemed to really get into the swing of things and enjoy yourself? By the way, you acted perfectly all night just as any other girl out for the first time with her big sisters, there was no sign of Ally at all, being a girl suits you.” Carly added.

“Between us, it was the best night I’ve ever had out, as Ally I didn’t really have any close friends to have a good time with and on the few occasions I took a girl out, I was so nervous and on edge about how to behave that I couldn’t relax. Last night out with the pair of you, I just felt that at last I didn’t have to think about what I was doing, I just took things as they came and acted naturally.”

“As I just said, being a girl suits you, are you going to stay as lively, bubbly, outgoing attractive Ellie, or are you hankering to get back to being boring, dull, shy, plain Ally? I’ve never seen you so relaxed and enjoying yourself, even in the café you are mixing with people effortlessly. You seem to have settled into life as a girl, you need to think about what you want to do.” Jemma took my hand and looked into my eyes as she said it.

“Back off please. Since I was forced into dressing and behaving as a girl by Dad, I have just got used to it, particularly being around females all the time, here with you two and our mams, at work with Jenny and Linda, I just seem to fit in easier as Ellie.”

“I’ve only ever known you as Ellie, and to me you are, and always will be, a girl, you are as natural at it as any of my friends.” Carly moved in closer and took my other hand, I felt a bit like the filling in a sandwich getting squeezed from both sides.”

“Sorry to break up your onslaught on me, but I think I’ll be better off down the café mixing with people and let Mam come back here, can you give me a lift please Carly?”

The rest of the morning was just routine, everything going smoothly, although my mind kept drifting to what the girls had said about needing to decide my future. At lunchtime Glen and Bob came in for their usual snack and as I was not busy, I sat down for a chat with them. After a bit of general social chat I raised the subject that was really on my mind

“We are all interested in whether you ever found that boy you were looking for, he seems to have been missing for a long time, are people not concerned?”

“Apparently, there is not a lot that can be done. Most of what the local police know about his father points to him being a violent abusive man, but it’s all hearsay and second-hand gossip. The mother and sister have disappeared again and the boy has never been found. Unless any of them is prepared to give more information that can be used as evidence in court, it’s unlikely that there will be any charges or conviction other than the minor offences of being drunk and disorderly, and threatening behaviour. He has been released on bail and is continuing to mouth off about his disloyal family and what he will do when he finds any of them.”

“I thought you had said that when he was arrested he admitted to abusive behaviour, is that not enough?”

“He was still drunk at the time, even a half-trained lawyer will drive a coach and horses through that admission and have it declared inadmissible. You seem extremely interested in this case, do you know more than you are letting on?”

“Of course not, let’s just say that I know what it’s like to suffer abuse myself and I feel for the family, and leave it at that, I don’t want to open old wounds and bad memories.”

“Ok, but if you ever want to follow up on what happened to you, let us know.”

That evening I told Mam and Jemma what they had said.

“It seems that Dad is on the loose again, and is still looking for us. I’ve been thinking about reporting his attempted rape of me, along with all the other abuse I had to suffer, would you be prepared to do the same, particularly his attempted rape of you Jemma. It’s the only way that we can get him locked up and feel safe again.”

“I’ve been trying to forget it, but it keeps coming back in my dreams to disturb me. I agree with you, but can we trust the police?”

“Glen and Bob are ok, if we start by telling them, in confidence, unofficially, and see what they say about keeping our whereabouts secret if we make an official statement.”

I called the number Glen had given me which got me through directly to them rather than through their station and asked them if they could come to the Lodge to talk to me, and the next morning they called around just in time have their breakfast with us.

“Ok Ellie, what’s this about?”

“This is a private chat between friends and is not official, is that ok for you?”

“Go ahead but if it is anything significant we may have to report it.”

“This is Mrs Caroline Taylor, and her daughter Jemma, the people your colleagues are looking for in relation to charges against Harry Taylor. They are prepared to tell you about the abuse they suffered including an attempted rape on Jemma, I’ll let them tell you their stories.”

Leaving me out of it they briefly told how they had both suffered violence and abuse, and how the son, Ally, had been treated by his father, keeping back the fact that I was actually Ally.

“That will give the prosectors enough to go on, particularly as you, Mrs Taylor, witnessed the attack on your daughter. The icing on the cake would be if Ally could be found and confirm what he had seen and heard over the years, have you any idea where to find him?”

I took a deep breath and steeled myself for their reaction, stood up and walked over to them. “Actually you are looking at him, I’m really Ally, Ellie was a way to escape from him and I’ve continued to live as a girl since then, as you well know.”

“Is this a joke, if it is it’s not funny, we’ve known you for months, that can’t be true.” Bob replied as I looked at their shocked and confused faces.

“I don’t understand, what, why, when?” Glen followed up to react and just about managed to get the words out before getting tongue-tied.

“Let me tell you things from the beginning, you might then understand and I’ll be happy to answer any more questions.”

“Many times we heard Mam and Dad arguing and she was often bruised the following morning, she can tell you all the details about that later. All through our childhood Jemma and I suffered constant put-downs, verbal abuse, and physical abuse from him. One night a few months ago I heard a big row, shouting and screaming, and woke up the next morning to find Mam and Jemma had left home, leaving me with Dad.They can tell you more about what happened, but the bare fact is that Dad tried to rape Jemma and only stopped because Mam was attacking him to get him to stop.

When Mam and Jemma had left he decided that all the housekeeping duties were now down to me, ‘woman’s work’ he called it, as he considered that was all I was fit for. That developed into him forcing me to become the woman of the house, wearing girls clothes and makeup, giving me beatings when I argued with him about it. It ended up that the only times I didn’t dress and appear female was when I went to school, but even then I was having to wear girls’ knickers under my trousers.

The final straw was one night when he tried to rape me, “to really know what it is like to be a girl”. I managed to fight him off by kicking him hard in the groin which gave me a chance to escape. On the bus out of town I met Carly and ended up here, where Fiona and Carly have been like a second family to me.”

“That sounds appalling Ellie, are you prepared to repeat that and all the details in a formal statement and later in court. I assume that you will not be able to prove what he did to you, but it will all help to show his character.”

“Yes, of course, we cannot hide away for ever worrying about him finding us. It might be worth checking his medical records to find the treatment he had for badly damaged testicles.”

Mam and Jemma went through their stories with them again in more detail, and they were particularly interested in the attempted rape of Jemma as Mam was a witness to that and it would carry more weight in court.

‘We’re going back to the station to see what can be arranged about keeping your whereabouts secret, even from the local police that know your father, but it’s their case, not ours, and you will sometime have to speak to them.”

A week later Glen drove the three of us in an unmarked car back to our hometown for official interviews. To keep my new identity a secret I was again in Ally’s clothes, well-scrubbed of any traces of makeup and with my hair tinted and brushed into as near a boys’ style as we could get it. We were interviewed by a Chief Inspector Evans who was new to the area and did not know my father, and went through our stories again answering lots of background questions and signed formal statements, before being driven back to the Lodge.

When we got back I went straight to my room to to return to the comfort of being Ellie again, resigning my Ally clothes to the back of the wardrobe, somehow I felt safer and more relaxed once more.

Glen and Bob came in for their normal break a few weeks later and called me over. “We’ve heard that a couple of the police in your hometown have been severely reprimanded by CI Evans for abusing access to official police search engines to try to get information of your whereabouts for your father, and that he is again in custody, charged with two counts of attempted rape. If you need to go back to the house to get anything it should be safe to do so. We’re off-duty soon either of us would be quite happy to go back with you just to make sure that you are ok.”

Again Ally came out of the wardrobe, so that if any of our old neighbours saw us they would just see the family that used to live there. Glen drove us there and waited outside in the car to make sure that nobody else came in. When we went in we were appalled at the state of the place. The house was a complete mess, dust, dirt and cobwebs everywhere, bottles cans and takeaway packs lying all around, the sink piled high with dirty dishes, and clothes strewn all over the rooms. Mam was in tears, she had worked so hard to try to keep the house clean and tidy and was disgusted and how her husband had let it turn into a pigsty.

Just ignoring the mess, apart from taking a few photos that the police may find useful, we collected what personal items of ours were still there, including a box containing some paperwork files including the deeds to the house and suchlike, took a last look at the house where we had lived for so many years and were driven back to the Lodge by Glen, deep in our own thoughts.

We took all our stuff to our rooms to sort out later, then Jemma and I went down to tell Fiona what we had found, leaving Mam in her room to sort a few things out. Sometime later she came down with some papers in her hands.

“Let’s all sit down there is something I need to discuss with you all, Fiona included. When we went back home it brought back too many memories of the bad times and all the abuse, and I don’t think that I could be comfortable living there anymore. These are the deeds to the house and they confirm that the house was bought in my name with a big deposit from my parents, and is totally my property, your father has no claim on it. I intend to get it fixed up and put it on the market, the sooner we can leave our old life behind the better.”

“But where will we live?” Jemma quickly asked.

“That’s why I wanted Fiona to stay with us. Unless she would rather not, I would like for us to stay here. However, we cannot depend on her goodwill and charity forever, so I am offering to put a big proportion from the sale of the house into the business here and form some sort of partnership and joint ownership. If she doesn’t want that we can stay here as permanent guests at an agreed rent, or look for somewhere of our own. What do you all think?”

Jemma and I looked over to Fiona, waiting for her reaction, before we said anything.

“Sounds good to me, as I have said before Ellie is almost family here and treats this place as her home, you are her family and are more than welcome to stay, you have been a big help in re-organising things and improving our bookings. We can sort out the details later, but it sounds like a good plan, let’s get a bottle of fizz and celebrate.”

I rushed over and threw my arms around her. “That’s brilliant, I have been so happy here, I can’t think of a better way forward.” Mam and Jemma soon joined us in a group hug.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Epilogue

Over the next few months Mam hired a home-maintenance company to go into the old family home, clear up the mess, clean it all up, spruce up the paintwork and freshen up the furniture before it went on the market and it was soon snapped up at a much better price than we had expected. We were able to leave all our unhappy memories of our time there behind us and live a much pleasanter life at Ivy Lodge.

My father was convicted of attempted rape of Jemma and me, in addition to charges for all the abuse he had directed at us and Mam, after what was my my last appearance as Ally as I gave my testimony in court. When he was sentenced to a long prison term he was furious, shouting and raving at the judge and at us as we sat in the public gallery, delighted that he would be out of our way for many years. We later heard that he had been seriously physically and sexually assaulted in prison for raping one of the younger prisoners who was considered be the property of a gangland leader who more or less ran the wing. We weren’t told all the details but were assured that he would never be able to rape anybody ever again, and would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He got no sympathy from any of us, we all thought that he had got his just rewards for what he had done to us.

I continued to live as Ellie, starting a course of hormone treatment that would eventually lead to surgery to confirm my condition as a full woman that I have since become, helped along the way by the best of advice from my two mams and two sisters.

Jemma went off to college to join up with Carly, studying economics and corporate management, and between them later formed a business development company which was very successful. Despite Jemma still being slightly mentally scarred for my father’s attack on her, she and Carly both found kind caring boyfriends who treated them well, and at both their weddings I was proud to act as a bridesmaid.

Mam and I remained at Ivy Lodge and helped Fiona run it and the café, and a few years later they retired to spend more time enjoying life, leaving me to manage everything myself. From being a shy, subdued withdrawn weedy boy, I had now become a confident outgoing attractive businesswoman, enjoying life to the full and had no regrets at the changed direction of my life.

The end

Chapter 1 A happy childhood

As I have now reached the grand age of 60, and I am beginning to ease back from the hustle and bustle of work and family responsibilities, I have more and more time to look back at all the thingsI have enjoyed and experienced in my varied life.
_____________________________________________________________

I am Gino Morgagni, named after my father, Luigi, who stayed over in Britain in 1945, after the war. Whilst a prisoner-of-war at a camp in Cornwall, where he was in a working party helping on one of the local farms, he had met, fallen in love with, and married a local girl, my mother Jean. They settled in her family farm near Perranporth, a small town on the west coast of Cornwall, near Newquay, that was beginning to sell itself as a holiday resort. This was in the days when package holidays to the Mediterranean had not really started and most people holidayed at the beach resorts at home. After the hardships and austerity of the war more and more people were enjoying the delights of the beautiful Cornish coast and countryside and the mild climate.

True to the caricature stereotype, Papà started an ice cream business, initially selling from a converted van down by the beach in Perranporth, but building up to a couple of cafes, and a fish and chip restaurant in the bigger, busier, nearby resort of Newquay. In the early 50s the area was becoming more popular, as a growing network of train and bus routes opened the area up to holidaymakers from the industrial towns and cities of the Midlands and North, and for people escaping the hustle and bustle of life in London. This led onto Papà e Mamma - as we called Dad and Mum - converting some of our fields to camping and caravan sites and then opening some bed-and-breakfast Guest-Houses in Perranporth, Newquay and St. Agnes. They were not rich, but made a comfortable living.

By the time my twin sister Gina and I came into the world in 1958, the tourist industry was reaching its peak, package holidays were starting, and the hardships of the war years forgotten and there was a general feel-good factor. When we were toddlers, life was wonderful, we lived well, always had plenty, we lived in a beautiful house on the outskirts of Perranporth that had originally been Mamma’s family’s farm but was now just a pretty large family house in its own extensive grounds, but unfortunately the good times took a big setback when Papà was killed in a road accident when we were only four years old. This had a big effect on our lives, Mamma had us to look after and a home to run, so had to employ a manager to help run the businesses, which obviously ate into our income. We had to economise a bit, so moved out to a smaller house in Goonhavern, a small village a couple of miles out of town.

When we were young there were not too many children our own age in the village, and all the boys were a lot older than me, I was a lot smaller than them and was just not up to their strength or ability in kicking a football around or keeping up with them running around or climbing trees. I therefore spent most of my time with Gina and her friends Alice and Jane. Most of the time we just got up to what most kids do, walking, playing ball games, swimming down at the beach in Perranporth and so forth. The girls were all a bit tomboyish, so climbing trees, fishing for tiddlers in the stream were all part of our life, but this was balanced by playing house and dress-up with the girls when the weather was too bad to go out to play, we were all kids just having a good time, at that age boys and girls are not that much different in their interests. As we went through the village primary school, life did not change much, it was all mainly girls in my age group and the few boys all lived out on farms a few miles away, so between my Mamma, my sister and friends, and my classmates, my formative years were heavily influenced by femininity. A lot of my mannerisms, conversations, interests and approach to life became more girlish rather than boyish.

Gina’s friend Alice was the first to have a sleepover party, and as I would otherwise be on my own I was invited too. It was all pretty normal at first, watching Disney’s Cinderella with Gina, Alice, Katie and Emma, eating popcorn and chocolate, chatting and giggling and having fun, until it was bedtime. The girls went into the bathroom one at a time to change into the nighties, but I had forgotten to bring my pyjamas with me and didn’t know what do do.

“You can’t sleep in your clothes, and Mum would go mad if she came in and found you in just your underwear,” Alice said, “ I’ll see if I have something that will fit you.” She came back with a cotton nightie that was a bit like her own, with flowery patterns and a bit of ribbon around the hem and collar. “I’m sorry but this is the best I can do, all my pyjamas are in the wash. Don’t worry, there are only us girls here and nobody else will know.”

A few minutes later, having changed into the nightie, which felt really soft, loose, and very comfortable, we having all having a last chat before going to bed. “You know what Gino,” said Alice “ wearing that nightie you look a lot like Gina. I know that boys and girls can’t be identical twins, but you two are not far off, if your hair was a bit longer and Gina’s a bit shorter you could pass for each other.” This caused a bit of embarrassment for Gina and me, but the others had a really good giggle at it.

The next day, we got dressed, thanked Alice and her Mum, and all went home, Mum was out seeing her business manager and it was raining heavily outside so Gina and I just mooched around the house . A bit later she came and sat next to me, “Do you feel like a chat? This may sound strange and I know that Alice was half-joking, but she had a point, we do look very similar. While Mum is out why not come up to my room and try on some of my clothes to see how you would look fully dressed, it should be good for a laugh, besides it’s raining so there is not much we can do.

We went upstairs and I stripped down to my underpants. “ Ok Sis, you’re in charge, what next.”

“First thing, if we are going to do this properly, we’ll go out from the skin, change your underpants for these panties. I’m just starting to develop so, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve started wearing a bra, and it is padded to give me a bit of a figure, so you better have one too.” This was all topped of with a gypsy blouse with what Gina said was a bit of Broderie Anglaise and embroidered little roses around the collar, and a pleated denim just-above-the-knee skirt.

In the sixties it became common for boys to have slightly longer hair styles, like the Beatles and Rolling Stones, not shoulder length but well over the collar and ears. Gina messed about a bit, brushing it differently and added a couple of clips and a long clip-on fall hairpiece.

“Come and stand in front of the mirror next to me, and let’s see how close we look.” We were astonished as although not totally identical we were very alike most people would not be able to tell the difference.

“Hi Gina, I’m back.“ Mum said as she came up the stairs, “Who have you got in there with you. Oh my god, is that you Gino, which is which, let me have a good look, I hadn’t realised how alike you both are. What are you up to anyway, why is Gino dressed like that?

We told mum about the sleepover, the nightie , and Alices’s comment, and that we thought we’d just try and see how alike we were, she didn’t say anything, just stood there thinking. The phone rang and Gina went to answer it and came back all excited. “That was Alice, she and her mum are going into Truro for some shopping and asked if I wanted to go too, is that ok Mum.

”That’s fine but why don’t you ask if your sister can go too, while she is dressed she may as well have a girly day too. But we can’t have you both called Gina, it will be too confusing. If your Dad and I had had another girl we were going to call her Maria, unless you have got a better suggestion lets go with that.” Mum called up Alice’s mum, and when they had finished having a good giggle about it, it was all agreed.

I was about to spend a special afternoon with my sister, her friend Alice, Mum, and Alice’s Mum.

To be continued.

Chapter 2 Early teens

I was about to spend a special afternoon with my sister, her friend Alice, Mum, and Alice’s Mum.

When they rolled up in their car and we climbed in , Alice and her mum were amazed at how alike Gina and I were, and commented that i looked a really pretty girl., which made me a lot happier and more relaxed. This pleased Gina too, as it meant that she also was a really pretty girl. Mum and Alice’s mum sat in the front and us girls in the back where we gossiped and giggled and planned how we were going to spend the day.

Truro is the capital of Cornwall, and although some other towns have larger populations, it has probably the best selection of shops and things to do, with its old buildings, Cathedral, and busy quayside. We arrived parked up, and made for the main shopping area. We went round lots of the shops, mainly those selling clothes, and mum insisted on showing me dresses and skirts holding them up to me and suggesting that I try them on, she even suggested that I get my ears pierced and buy some pretty studs. I was sure that she was deliberately trying to embarrass me to discourage me from dressing as a girl again, but all the time I had spent with the girls, including going shopping with them, made the comments ‘go in one ear and out the other’ and I didn’t take up her offers or feel embarrassed, I was just enjoying my day out with them all so much.

Our mums decided that they wanted to go off on their own for a while, and having given us a bit of money, told us to go and amuse ourselves, and they would meet us later. We went around a lot more shops, looking at clothes and accessories, but didn’t buy much, the girls got a few hair accessories and bits of cheap costume jewellery, and even talked me into buying some hair ribbon and a bracelet for myself to wear for the day. We wandered into one of the department stores, which like most others had all the beauty counters near the main entrance, and we were all staring at the amazing array of products.

“ Hello girls,” said a really lovely lady behind the counter, who had a name badge naming her as Elizabeth - beauty Consultant, “in a few years time you will be coming back here and buying and using a lot of these products, but you are a bit young at the moment and don’t need make-up to look pretty. If you think your mums won’t mind, would you like it if I I put on a little lipstick for you.” The girls faces lit up with excitement, and so we all left with frosted pink lips, feeling all grown-up, and with a cheery smile and wave back to Elizabeth.

We were now all feeling hungry, so went to a coffee bar for some sandwiches and a drink. Gina nudged Alice “Those three lads over there keep looking over at us, if you notice them doing it again give them a smile and look friendly.” Before long they came over to join us and introduced themselves, as Joe, Bill, and Charlie. They were about the same age as us, but like most young lads they were a bit shy and awkward around girls. We chatted a bit and they soon began to relax with us, they asked us if we knew the town very well and offered to show us around. We spent the rest of the afternoon with them, going down to the quayside and markets, and had a really good time until we needed to meet up with the mums and go home. We thanked the boys for being nice to us and hoped that they enjoyed the afternoon as much as we had, and as they were leaving the each gave us all a quick kiss on the cheek and said they hoped to see us again sometime.It wasn’t much but it was my first kiss other than close relatives, and gave me a strange feeling.

We met up with the Mums, who had also had a good time as they were carrying lots of bags, and made our way home.

When we got settled in mum insisted on showing us what she had bought, a beautiful floral print summer dress, some sling-back sandals with a 2” heel, and some underwear. It was the first time that she had ever talked about underwear in front of me, but dressed as I was she just seemed to accept me as one of the girls. Talking more to Gina than to me, she showed the bras she had bought and explained the different types and how different outfits needed different styles to get the best effect. This was a bit embarrassing to me, how many mothers talk about bras to their sons?

When she had shown us all her buys, she pulled out a lovely yellow sleeveless printed summer dress with a belted waist for Gina, who immediately took off her skirt and top and changed into the dress in front of me, without any embarrassment at me seeing her in her just her panties and bra. Normally she would shout and scream at me and try to hide her body, if I caught her at an awkward moment. It really suited her and in a way I felt jealous.

“ And don’t think I've forgotten you Maria,” she said pulling out the same dress she had just given Gina, only in pale blue instead of yellow, “and I've also got you some underwear and shoes of your own so you don’t have to borrow Gina’s.”

I was shocked, I hadn’t expected that, but I felt strangely excited and I hurried to get changed and try on the dress like Gina had, my first very own dress! It felt wonderful, light and floating, and I loved the swirl of its skirt around my legs. Gina immediately made a phone call to Alice who came straight over with Emma and Katie, and we all went for a walk down to Perranporth to let us show off our new dresses. I loved the feel of the breeze and the brush of the skirt on my legs. Although I normally mostly wore shorts not long trousers, and was used to bare legs, it just felt different , and I really liked it, the dress seemed much less restricting than my usual clothes, and the softness of the material was just so different. My dress got a few more outings that summer, when I went out with the girls, but when the holidays were over it was back in the wardrobe to get ready for school again.

********************************************************************************

We were all now 11 years old and it was time to transfer from the local village school to the large secondary school in Newquay, and when we went shopping for the new uniforms, Gina had a good time selecting with Mum, all the daytime uniform and sports wear, but I didn’t get too excited as my stuff was a lot more plain and boring, i actually felt jealous.

As we lived well away from the school, there was a special bus service which went around, the villages picking us all up. As Goonhavern was the bus’s first call. Gina, Alice, Katie, Emma and I all rushed to the back of the bus, which was considered to be the best seat, and chatted while the bus did its tour round the other villages and up to school. On the bus on the way home I tended to sit with the boys in my class. the conversations were totally different to that of the girls, mainly about football, cycling and girls. Getting both sides of the story, I was amazed at the total misunderstandings and misconceptions about what the boys and girls each thought about the other gender, and from both sides there was a lot of childish smutty comments, I just took it all in and didn’t particularly argue with any of them except with the exceptionally ridiculous ideas.

For the first time I was is a masculine environment. Although the school and the classes were mixed the boys tended to hang around and sit together in class, as did the girls. I also tended to meet with the boys out-of-school and often go down to the beach with them at weekends, and my time with the girls was now rare, although Maria did turn up at a few parties and shopping days out over the next couple of years.

In the 1960’s due to influence of the Beach Boys’ music and TV programmes featuring Hawaii and Australia, surfing became very popular in the UK, and Newquay became the surf capital and main centre in the UK due to its sheltered bays which channelled the Atlantic rollers and the comparatively mild climate. Newquay, Perranporth, St Agnes and the nearby beaches all prospered and took advantage of all the new opportunities that this brought.

Mum was a shrewd businesswoman, as well as being in the right place at the right time, and along with her manager, who had become her business partner, made some shrewd purchases, and soon had a chain of small hotels along the Cornish Atlantic coast. These were mainly of the ‘cheap and cheerful’ type catering for the youth market visiting for the surfing and the associated nighttime social life. they weren’t particularly interested in luxury facilities. They spent all their time on the beach or in the bars and all they really wanted was a clean bed to fall into at the end of the days and nights out. The hotels were not expensive, but were very profitable, as for most of the year they were completely full.

When down at the beach with the lads, I had really taken to surfing, and had graduated through the training boards and shortboards onto the longboards and I was getting quite capable of riding the bigger breakers. One weekend the boys were off doing things with their families, so I went down to the beach with Gina, Alice and the others, we were all fairly casually dressed just in shorts and tee-shirts, just watching the surfers. Newquay had the reputation but the waves were almost as good at Perranporth.

“You are always on about the surfing and how good you are getting,” said Gina “ how about showing us how to do it?” The swell wasn’t too heavy and the sea looked looked about right for learning in so we agreed to give it a go. We went up to the Surf Shack, and I went to get some of the lighter shorter training boards whilst Gina went inside to select some wet suits, and some ponchos to cover us whilst we changed.

“Gina, have you all got the right suit, the one you have given me is a girl’s.”

“i didn’t realise there was any difference, what’s the problem, the guy in the shack must have assumed we were all girls and just sorted out matching suits for all of us.”

“i feel daft, Its got pink stripes on it and the logo ‘surfer Girl” all across the front”

“ Oh, stop whinging, it’s not as if you haven’t worn things a lot more girly, and you’re not exactly a muscle-bound hunk, although with the suit being so tight it might look better if you did something to hide your boy’s bits, if you are going to be one of the girls for the rest of the day.”

I just got on with it, took the girls into the water and taught them the basics, and kept a sharp eye on them rather than doing much surfing myself. The light training boards are ok when you are learning, but are quite tame when you have progressed a bit. At the end of the afternoon they were getting on quite well, and after falling off a few times, they did all manage to get to standing up, although their rides were not very long. When we all had had enough we got changed and took the kit back to the Shack.

“I had fun watching you girls, it looked like it was the first time for most of you, hope to see you down here again, it makes a change to see such pretty girls having fun on the boards.” We all blushed at this comment, particularly me.

The girls decided that they would go home to get changed and take the bus up to Newquay to surf the shops, and invited me, as Maria, to go with them. I was still quite slight and about the same size as the girls, so with a quick brush of the hair, and putting on a light summer skirt and sleeveless top, and a bra with a bit of padding up-top, I joined them. I loved the light airy feel of the clothes and the soft feel of the material on my skin as we walked around the town. A gang of young teenage girls in the middle of testosterone-fuelled surf-city meant we got a lot of attention, but the girls were all a little bit young to do anything other than coyly flirt, and I just kept quiet. At the end of the day we sat around chatting, and they focused on boys they had seen, clothes and make-up and I realised that their interests and mine were drifting apart. Although I was normally very happy in their company and loved dressing and going out with them as one of the girls, it was probably the time for me to leave the gang put Maria away, and become a full-time boy.

That’s what I thought at the time, but life was full of unexpected twists and turns.

To be continued.

Chapter 3 Maria Comes Back

At the end of my time at school I had done well in my exams, I had the choice of staying on to get the qualifications for university, but Mum and I agreed that if I was going to follow her into the family business, it may be best to learn things from the bottom up, and so I spent a lot of time working reception, behind the bar, and waiting at tables learning the ‘nuts and bolts’ of the business. Gina had decided that she was more interested in starting up a hairdressing and beauty business, rather than working in the hotels, so I became my mother’s heir-apparent.

I enrolled on courses at our local college and for the next two years studied all operational aspects of the hospitality business, and at weekends and holidays worked at our main hotel about 5 miles out of Newquay. Over the years the business had stayed very profitable, and Mum and her partner had decided that as well as the surfer hotels in town that there was a market for more luxurious breaks. They had bought an old Victorian country house which had seen better days, but was structurally sound, although the decor and fixtures were a bit dated. Rather than totally modernise the property It was just freshened up a bit, keeping it’s character and charm. They also joined a hotel franchising group and although the ownership and management remained their responsibility, they had the benefit of a nationally-known marketing brand and booking system, which provided a steady stream of clients mainly on 2 or 3 day mini-breaks.

We also had a lot of long-stays, and soon there were requirements for more facilities, and a spa, gym, sauna and mini-pool were added. Obviously after a session in the spa, a lot of the ladies felt the need to have their hair styled and other general beauty treatments, this led Gina into opening a part-time salon in the hotel, which gave her an opportunity to grow her business and for us to offer a wider range of facilities for our clients.

At weekends we occasionally offered entertainment in the main large dining hall, usually a band or singer with backing tapes , but to offer a more friendly package, rather than just a slick professional presentation, the staff took turns in putting in a session. I did solo sessions mainly playing guitar and singing ballads but with a few sing-along songs for the audience to join in, and Gina, Maggie one of the waitresses, and a couple of the barmen, Bob and John, did an Abba routine, which was very popular. The girls went to town on this with the satiny all-in-one jumpsuits, copycat Agnetha and Anna-Frid wigs, and high-heel boots and the guys were not much different except for the Björn and Benny wigs and boots. They had really got the routine off very well and used me as a critic to suggest improvements, so I knew their routine very well and often sang with them when they rehearsed.

On the afternoon before one of their performances, Gina came to see me with a worried look on her face.

“Maggie has a bad dose of tonsillitis and can’t sing this evening, and we’ll have to cancel the show, which is a shame as many of the guests have said they have heard about our routine and were looking forward to it, unless…………..”

She argued that I knew all the routines pretty well from the rehearsals, I had enjoyed dressing with her and the girls when I was younger, and passed really well, never being recognised. She said that my singing voice was reasonably high and I could probably do the backing vocals as Anna-Frid and she would do the lead as Agnetha. As there were also two guys in the band if my voice drifted a bit it would just get lost in with theirs and wouldn’t be noticed.

I spent the next 2 hour in Gina’s salon. I thought that there was no need to do anything with my hair, as I would be wearing a wig, but Gina reminded me that they always took the wigs off at the end of the session so that the guests could recognise who had been performing for them. I didn’t want to be recognised as having performed as a girl so she styled my longish hair more femininely. trimmed my eyebrows a bit , and gave me several facial treatments to soften my looks, before glamming me up with heavy make up, particularly a lot of eye-liner and mascara, ready for the stage appearance.

I was soon dressed in lace underwear, but with tight speedos to hide my ‘boy’s bits’, and false boobs in my bra that she had found from somewhere, the satiny jumpsuit, high-heel boots and the Anna-Frid wig, and was ready for our show. The show went down really well, the audience joined in most of the songs, and when we finished off with ‘Dancing Queen’ many were up from their seats dancing along with us.

As normal, when we were taking our bows at the end of the show we all took off our wigs, shook our hair free and were ready to leave the stage, when Gina grabbed the microphone and made an announcement. “Ladies and Gentlemen thank you for being such a lovely audience tonight.
Maggie, who normally performs with us as Anna-Frid is ill tonight, but my cousin Maria stood in at the last minute, and I’m sure you will all agree that she did an excellent job, let’s give her a special round of applause.”

Feeling very embarrassed I walked to the front of the stage, clapped at the audience, blew a couple of hand-kisses and walked off to more applause. Leaving the rest of the evening to the professional acts, we were back in the changing room relaxing and talking about how the show had gone when Mum came in with a lady we did not recognise.

“Right guys, this is Jo, she’s with the marketing department of the hotel chain, she came over to talk a bit of business today, and stayed to watch the show. She really liked your act, and wondered if you would be interested in performing at some of the other hotels in the chain. We are the only one in this area that does entertainment so it would mean travelling a couple of hours each way to Ilfracombe, Minehead, Torquay, Exeter, or Plymouth. As well as giving you an opportunity to develop the act and have some fun, it might be good publicity for us if you can give our hotel a bit of a plug”

“Obviously you would be paid extra by the other hotels,” chipped in Jo, “and if you feel that travelling is a bit much you can stay overnight, free, at the hotels you are performing at. If you are ok with it, one of the hotels in Exeter had one of their acts for this Friday and Saturday drop out, and I could get you booked in there”

“We’ll check with Maggie to see how she feels about it just give me a minute.” said Gina who seemed to have taken on the role of group leader.

“Maggie is very happy with it but she won’t be able to do this weekend or next week as her throat is still sore, how about Maria staying with us for a few days, until she gets back”

After Jo left us we were able to have a more open discussion, because as far as she was concerned, I was cousin Maria.

“ Sorry guys, Unless you want the act to get a bit of an unwelcome reputation I couldn’t turn up as Gino and suddenly turn into Maria, and you know how long it took to transform me for tonight, it would be a real pain to do that every day, so I would have to become Maria until Maggie gets back. It’s one thing performing on stage but its completely different living as a girl full-time, even if only for a few days, I’m not sure that I could keep up the act and am worried that I would be recognised as a male.

“Other than what I had to do to your hair, the make-up and getting ready to face the world routine is something that we girls have to go through every day. If you got your hair styled and you gave yourself a complete body and legs shave before we left, the only extra thing you would have to do is a close face-shave in the mornings and evenings, nobody will ever discover who you really are.”

The three group members and mum kept on at me until they convinced me that I was still passable as a girl and I agreed to do it.

The next day I had another session in Gina’s salon, had my hair set in large rollers with a soft perm to give it more of a wave, and fixed to last for a while, had my nails and toe nails shaped and painted a deep crimson, had several facial scrubs and treatments including a full body and leg wax, and was fitted with 38C breast forms, which Gina took a great delight glueing to my chest. “ Now you’ll know what an inconvenience it can be walking around with those puppies on your chest all day.” Obviously I could not now go out as a male, so Gina came back with a lacy matching bra and pantie set, a sleeveless low-cut summer top, a light floral skirt, sandals with a 2” heel. and a shoulder bag. I didn’t need much more as it was too hot for stockings or tights, or coats or cardigans. A little bit of light daytime make up, some eye-liner and mascara and Maria was ready to face the world. Apart from different hair styles Gina and I were still almost indistinguishable

Gina decided that I needed to get comfortable with being a girl, so we decided to over to Truro for the afternoon to let me have some time out in public. On the way, we collected Alice and Katie, as she thought that I would be less noticeable in a group. They all welcomed Maria back after being away for a long time, gave me a lot of compliments on my looks, and looked forward to seeing me again soon.

We had a really pleasant afternoon, I soon forgot about how I looked and just became one of the girls out for the day. We just wandered around the shops, trying things on but our only buys were a couple of pairs of shoes for me, a dressy black open-toed pair with 3” heels which were not too comfortable but the girls told me that that was the price of being a sexy girl, and a pair of pretty blue flats for comfort around the house and hotel, and a delightful full-length white satin nightie, which they insisted I needed to keep in character 24/7. Luckily my credit and debit cards just had the initial instead of the full forename, so I had no problem paying for things.

We returned home, had a good-luck drink with the girls, finished packing for our trip to Exeter, and had an early night ready for an exciting day tomorrow. I wore my new satin nightie, which just revealed the swell of my false breasts and a bit of cleavage, they almost looked real. I loved the way the nightie hung and the clinging but soft feel of it next to my skin, I thought that I could get used to this and went to sleep dreaming about my next few weeks as Maria.

To be continued.

Chapter 4 Showtime

We all met for breakfast in our hotel before setting off, and the boys couldn’t believe how I had been transformed, they even said that they had been out with a lot worse lookers than me, and that they might have to provide a bit of muscle to protect me on our travels.

John, who was a couple of years older, drove us in his Triumph 2000, which was bit of a tight squeeze getting all our costumes and clothes and things in the boot, but as we were only away for a few days we didn’t need much personal stuff, at least the boys didn’t.

At the hotel in Exeter we were given two twin rooms, Gina and I sharing one and Bob and John in the other. As far as anyone else was concerned I was Maria and was totally accepted as such by the hotel staff. We set up our sound equipment in the concert room, and ran through a couple of the songs to check the acoustics, and had the rest of the day free before we had to get ready for our show.

We had always thought of Truro as the big city, but Exeter was something else, about four or five times the size, the cathedral was massive in comparison, the shops made Truro look like a village store, and there were throngs of people everywhere rushing about their business, it was a bit overwhelming. After wandering down to the quayside of the river Exe and visiting the cathedral Gina and I hit the shops.

We weren’t particularly intending to buy anything but we were both really taken by a couple of ‘little-black dresses’ in a window display that Gina thought could be easily accessorised differently to change their appearance for different occasions. I didn’t see the need for me to have another dress, but with Gina’s encouragement that every girl needs a LBD, and after trying it on, it was a must-have, I loved the way it flattered my figure. Again according to Gina, a new dress needs a different pair of shoes to set it off, and one thing led to another, and so we ended up back at the hotel with a collection of shopping bags.

“We need to start getting ready for the show, get out of your day clothes, take off all your make-up as we need a totally different look for the show, shave off what little facial hair you have, and I’ll help you with your get ready to be Anni-Frid.” ordered Gina taking charge. Our rooms were near the concert hall so we just got ready there in private rather than using the glorified cupboard that served a s dressing room

She was definitely right about getting a different appearance. she talked me through the process of applying a glossier, and more dramatic foundation and much heavier eye-liner, shiny eye-shadow and mascara. I had become quite good with my normal daytime make-up and managed by myself, but different effects for different occasions were still beyond me, and poking around my eyes with an eyeliner and mascara wand still made me shiver with fear.

We did two sessions that night, as we were no longer just a novelty staff entertainment but were looked on as a proper act, and when we ended up, as usual, with ‘Dancing Queen’ a lot of the audience got up and danced around the tables. It was a successful night.

After the show we all got cleaned up and changed, and at Gina’s insistence wiped off the heavy make-up off and refreshed our normal day look, it’s definitely a lot of work being a girl.

Relaxing in the bar afterwards a lot of the audience came over and told us they really enjoyed the show and that we had made they holiday more memorable, which was really appreciated. Although we have quite a tiring stage dancing routine we still managed to get up to dance when asked by a couple of young men. Dancing in heels and with boobs took a bit of getting used to, the whole balance and posture is completely different, but copying Gina’s moves I soon learned to move gracefully but still move around and have a good time. Gina was enjoying herself but my partner started to get a bit hands-on and I was getting a bit worried, but luckily John seen what was going on and came over to the rescue with a polite “excuse me, I think it’s my turn now.”

“If you are going to look that attractive and swing your hips about like that on the dance floor, you’ll have to get used to a bit of unwanted attention,” advised John “you need to get some tips from your sister on how to politely but firmly deal with wandering hands, she must have learned to deal with things over the years” Attractive ?

I discussed this with Gina afterwards and with a smile on her face she told me that wandering hands were a problem girls always have to put up with, and as long as it didn’t get too aggressive or personal just to sit back, smile, and enjoy it, rather than make an embarrassing big issue out of it. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but she said just go with the flow and have a good time.

Saturday in Exeter was pretty much the same, we did a slightly different routine with a few changes in the songs, and although some in the room were also there the previous night, Saturday is a big change-over day in hotels, so the audience was still fresh and appreciative.

As we were leaving to go home the next morning, the manager asked if we were interested in a regular booking. The others were all for it, but Maggie would soon be back on the scene and I would be going off to university, so I told them that it was up to them, but that I would continue for the next few weeks.

We were booked for a couple of shows midweek and weekend for the rest of the main season, travelling to most of the big resorts in Cornwall and over the border into Devon.

I stayed as Maria to save the bother of changing back and to several times a week. Most of the time that we were not doing shows I was working reception at the hotel, dressed in a smart business skirt suit, heels and tights and full make up and it soon became routine and I began to not even think about how I looked. Even when not working all my casual gear was female, mainly leggings with long tunic tops to cover my lack of hips and bottom and It was just becoming natural for me to be a full-time girl and I was beginning to talk, walk and make gestures in a very feminine manner without realising what I was doing.

The shows went down well everywhere and by the time Maggie was back on the team, they were travelling three or four days a week around the County for the rest of the high season. I was glad to give up Maria and return to life as a boy, although the money I had earned doing the shows would help me settle in at University. The main things about being a girl that I would not miss was as we mingled with the guests after the shows there was an occasional pat on the bottom or an accidental brush of a breast and a lot of cheesy chat-up, but following Gina’s advice I just smiled sweetly, pretended it had never happened and moved on.

It was a bit of a culture shock getting rid of my boobs and feminine clothes and returning to life as a boy, even though i had lived as a boy for eighteen years, it still felt strange, the clothes were rougher and heavier, I felt naked without make-up, the only thing not a problem was my hair. The soft perm I had would take a while to grow out, , but with a slight trim and a change in brushed style, it looked a bit ‘surfer boy‘ which would fit in ok at University

To be continued.

Chapter 5 Settling in at Uni

To allow me to get professional business qualifications I enrolled at the University of Plymouth for a degree course in Hospitality Management which in addition to the basic operational skills covered Marketing, man-management, employment law, food hygiene and basic commercial cooking which would let me the able to discuss menus with our chefs. I also decided to do accountancy as a special subject, as bookkeeping, cash-flow, and annual returns would be part of my responsibility when I became full time with the Hotel group.

In the first year most students opt for living in one of the halls of residence as this lets them meet new friends and take a bigger part in the social life of the University, these are in great demand and the vacancies are soon filled. I had pre-booked an en-suite study/bedroom in a grouped flat sharing a common kitchen and small lounge with 5 others.

On arrival at the university I booked in and registered for my course, and went to the accommodation office to find out which block my flat was in and to get a welcome pack. As there were too many people arriving that day to deal with each individually, they had left out envelopes for everyone, so after picking up and signing for mine I made my way across the campus to find my flat and get settled in.

I went in, heard voices, and thought I better introduce myself. To my surprise, in the kitchen were three girls and I wondered if I had come to the wrong place as the policy is to group people of the same gender together.

“Hi, I’m Gino, I’m booked into bedroom 1.”

“Gino ? We were told to expect a Gina, there must be some mistake, this is a flat for six girls.”

“ I better go back to check with the accommodation office, do you mind if I leave my stuff here until I get this sorted”

I returned twenty minutes later, having been told that although my academic registration was correct, someone had mistyped my name as Gina onto the accommodation list and I had been allocated a flat with the girls. The accommodation was in much demand and they did not have anything else immediately available, but would try to get something sorted. I told the girls what had happened

“ So the bottom line is that, unless you have a problem with it, although they do not normally do mixed-sex flats, I’ve been told to stay here for the moment. I’ll go and get some lunch and leave you to talk about it for a while.”

I returned an hour later to find that another two girls had arrived, and they had obviously been filled in on my situation.

“Ok girls, if you are not happy I will pick up my bags and find a hotel or something until the university gets me somewhere else, otherwise I think that this place looks clean and comfortable, and you all look friendly, and we could probably make this work. What do you think?”

“Let’s start all over again Gina,” said one of the girls who introduced herself as Linda, “we’re quite happy for you to stay, but we need to establish some ground rules first. Put your bags in your room and get sorted then we can all sit down for a chat.”

Over coffee and biscuits the girls introduced themselves, Linda, Julie, Carol, Sue and Megan, and we all gave a brief potted history of ourselves, where we came from, the courses we were on, family, and how we seen our time at University.”

“Our rules:

#1 No coming into any of our bedrooms
#2 No trying it on with anyone, we can all be good friends, but no more
#3 Keep to your own en-suite, no using the common bathroom, it’s a boy-free zone
#4 No girls brought back to the flat, other than you, it is all a boy-free zone
#5 Normal rules about what in the kitchen is common use and what is personal
#6 If we are all going to live together it would be nice if we could socialise together so at least one night a week we all go out together.”

“They all seem ok. My rules, and don’t take this personally but I have 18 years experience living with my twin sister:

#1 No walking around the flat in your underwear
#2 No leaving washing, particularly underwear, lying around to dry
#3 Same rule about coming into my bedroom without knocking on the door
#4 No bringing boys back to the flat, at least not when you know I am here
#5 Finally, when you are on your monthlies, please do not take it out on me.”

The last rule brought an embarrassed giggle from the girls, but whilst Gina and I got on very well, she did try my patience sometimes when she was ‘on’ .

“One last rule.” chipped in Megan “This is the first time any of us have been away from home and we all have very worried parents, who may not be happy with us flat-sharing with a boy, so we are all telling our folks that Gina is sharing with us, and so that we do not let it accidentally slip that’s how we will refer to you around the flat. Is that ok.”

“ That shouldn’t be a problem, I don’t think that any of you will share classes with me, but try not to call me Gina when we are out anywhere.”

I called up the accommodation office and told them that it was agreed that I would stay in the flat and that they didn’t need to look for somewhere else for me. They changed my name on the records but we agreed that to save anyone asking questions that I would stay on the address register and on the flat nameplates as ‘Gina’.

We all took to university life, settling into our courses, forming new friendships and following our own social interests, but kept a very close group relationship with our flatmates, and Monday nights, which were otherwise quite socially bare became our group night out together.

One Monday a few weeks later, after a few drinks and in a lull in the general conversation,Megan, who seemed to be the one that spoke her mind most, turned to me with a querying look.

“You know what Gina, you have fitted in with us quite well, you enjoy our company, when you are out with us you drink wine with us, you seem to be interested in our conversations about girlie things, your voice and patterns in speech and gestures are a bit girly, and you never seem to react when we forget the rules and you see us in the flat in our underwear, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you gay?”

“ No I am not gay, but I am not too offended as you are right, I do have a bit of a feminine side. However I would appreciate it if you all stopped waltzing around the flat in just your bra and pants, it does often have an effect on me.”

Having had a few drinks, my tongue was a bit looser than it should have been and I told them all ( well, most ) about growing up with the girls, and dressing occasionally, and about my summer performing as Maria/Anni-Frid. They were enthralled, particularly about the Abba act and living as Maria for a few weeks, and nobody seemed particularly shocked or embarrassed by any of it.

“Don’t worry, you’re amongst friends, we’ll keep this to ourselves, right girls?” Linda was the first to respond “ But after telling us all that, I for one would like to meet the real Gina, or Maria, if you prefer.”

“I’m not too sure, i enjoyed my time as Maria, and to be honest I do like the feel and comfort of girl’s clothes, but I was getting to feel too comfortable with it all and was hoping to spend my time here as totally masculine.”

“ Come on it could be fun just to let us see, and after telling us a tale like that you can’t leave it up in the air”

I eventually gave in and phoned Gina to ask her to get a few of my things together, to send over, but as the Abba act was performing in Torquay later in the week she wanted to drop them off, and come up to see the flat and meet the girls. Gina would be doing shows on the Friday and Saturday, so we arranged for her to come over on the Thursday evening to meet up and bring my stuff. The others in the band would drive over separately on Friday and pick her up to prepare for the show, and we would all go over on Saturday to see the performance, with me going as Maria. As they had now met the real Gina to save any confusion I now became Maria to them all

We all went out for a meal on drink Thursday evening, Gina got on really well with the girls, but to my embarrassment filled in a lot of extra details that I hadn’t mentioned, particularly my reaction to getting chatted up and touched up.

I had no classes on Friday, and the flatmates were all at theirs, so I spent the day getting myself ready for the weekend. My hair was still holding its perm, so other than a quick wash, condition, blow-dry, and a bit of re-styling, it was soon sorted. Luckily I still didn’t grow much facial hair so after a very close shave, body and leg shave, nails shaped and painted, and fixing on my boobs all followed and there was no sign left of Gino. I obviously couldn’t put back on my boy’s clothes, so I dressed in leggings and a tunic top, put on a bit of foundation, mascara and lipstick, and took Gino’s stuff down to the basement laundry to give my shirts, underclothes and pyjamas their fortnightly wash and spin, and left them to run through the cycle.

When I went back upstairs, Carol, Sue and Megan had come back, and were surprised to see me already dressed.

“We weren’t expecting you to have changed today, we thought you would just leave it until tomorrow, but must say that the look suits you”

“ I had the time today and it will save rushing tomorrow, and besides a bit of extra time will get me more into Maria-mode. It’s a while since I did this and I just wanted to make sure I was ok with it again.”

When the others returned I had to go through the whole conversation again, and as we were all at a loose end we decided to go into town for a drink, rather than one of the pubs near the campus.

“We were all planning to just go casual tonight, so you can go as you are, or if you prefer we can all wear skirts for a change to help you feel more girly”

“ No I am quite happy like this, if you all go and get changed, I’ll just freshen up my make-up, change my shoes, grab my bag and see you all in about half an hour.”

“My God, you’ve only been a girl for next to no time and you are already acting like the rest of us.” giggled Linda, starting off similar comments from the others.

We had a pleasant night out, a Chinese meal, a few drinks in a music bar, a lot of cheesy attempted chat-ups and offers of a good night out, but it was made plain that we were having a girls’ night and men were off the menu. Although I had been out with them lots of times, it was somehow a different, more relaxed, atmosphere in the gang, and as far as they or anyone else was concerned I was just one of the girls.

We got back to the flat, all went to get changed and ready for bed before getting together for a coffee and chat, when I remembered that my pyjamas were downstairs in the wash with the rest of my washing. When I got there however, all my stuff had disappeared, someone had obviously thought that my stuff was better than theirs, so back upstairs I had no choice but to put on my satin nightie and a clean white pair of panties. When I went out into our little lounge, the girls were already sitting around, mostly in short cotton nighties or pyjamas, and I felt very overdressed.

When they had all got over the shock, Megan giggled “Wow Maria, you don’t do things by half, do you, you make us all look like we’ve got our nightwear down at the charity shop, and you are better endowed up top than most of us.” We had our coffees, had a chat about our night out and our plans for tomorrow. I told them about losing my laundry and Megan and Sue suggested I go out with them tomorrow to get some replacement stuff, as even boys could not survive without a change of underwear.

Saturday morning Megan Sue and Maria hit the shops, but as well as replacing Gino’s stuff they insisted that I needed some more stuff for Maria as they were sure that ‘she’ would be spending more time with them. I replaced my Gino clothes, but also got even more stuff for Maria especially several dressy bra and pantie sets, some more basic underwear, some warmer winter tops, a short cotton nightie and a pyjama set, and a few pairs of ear rings and studs to go with my newly-pierced ears.

To be continued

Chapter 6 One of the girls

Back at the flat the girls had decided that we would forget the casual looks for this evening and dress ‘to the nines’. So after a quick shower and moisturise I brushed out my hair, really glammed up with heavy evening-out make-up, put on one of my new undie sets, sheer tights, my ‘little black dress’ and some 3” heels, a quick spritz of hairspray and ‘Allure’, grabbed a clutch bag for my essentials, and went out to meet the others.

“Wow Maria you are gorgeous, you are a natural at this, grab your coat, we’ve ordered a taxi, lets go and have a good night out”

Gina had reserved a table for us right next to the stage, and had arranged with the bar staff to have some cocktails and wine ready to welcome us, so we were already in party mode when they came on to do their performance. They put on a great show, I think they were even better and more professional than when I was with them. Near the end of the show, Gina made an announcement.

“The first time we did a show here, Anni-Frid here was unwell and my cousin Maria stood in, I would like her to come up and join us for our final number, which as usual will be ‘Dancing Queen’, all of you please feel free to get up and dance or wave your arms around and join in.”

The girls pushed me up to the stage, I was given a spare mic, and we launched into the number. The girls were the first to join in on the floor which led lots of other guests to follow. They all seemed to be getting into the swing of things so we continued to go through the song a second time. and we all left the stage to lots of applause. I rejoined the girls. After they had got changed and freshened up Gina, Maggie, Bob and John joined us for the rest of the evening. the girls all complimented them on their wonderful show and with promises that we would do this again next time they were in town, we set off for home.

Back at the flat, we all got changed and cleaned up and sat around in our pyjamas and nighties to have a last drink to finish off the night. This time I was more in tune with them wearing one of my new pyjama sets with a cami top and shorts rather than the satin nightie.

Sunday morning I realised that when Gina had brought my stuff over that she had forgotten to include the glue solvent for my “breasts’, so I was, literally, stuck with them until I could find a local shop that stocked some. I called Gina who told me that she would post it over when she got home but that it would be a couple of days before it got to me. I could have cut through the breasts, but I didn’t want to ruin them as they were not cheap so the only choice was to remain as Maria until I could get them unstuck.

Still feeling a little light-headed after last nights drinking, I drifted into the kitchen, still in my pyjamas, to get a coffee, Megan was the only one up.

“Morning Maria, that was a good night out, we’ll have to do it again next time they are in Plymouth. They were really good they could probably make a living doing the clubs and local theatres as a tribute band, and when you got up with them you really fitted in, you knew all the words and dance movements you were very good too.”

We generally chatted for a while about the night out, the show, comparing what we had all been wearing and how we looked, when she suddenly realised that I was still Maria.

“ How come you are still dressed as Maria, you are just so natural that I didn’t even notice until just now. It was the same last night you just blended in as one of the girls.”

I explained my problem with the breasts and that for at least a couple of days Maria would still be around, and Megan said that she didn’t see that as a problem, as the others were now used to Maria anyway.

When the others turned up I got pretty much the same reaction, it seemed to take them all a few minutes to notice how I was dressed and they didn’t seem to care, I was just another flatmate. Sunday was always a lazy day, and when all our heads had cleared, we threw on some comfortable casual clothes to go for a walk down by the seafront, I just put on leggings and a tunic top and my flats, grabbed my bag, and off we went.

The sea air soon cleared the cobwebs from our heads and we had a pleasant afternoon just strolling around, browsing the shops before going back to the flat for an evening in preparing for classes tomorrow.

This was going to be a problem for me, obviously I could clean off all the make-up and nail polish, re-style my hair, and change my clothes, but the boobs would be hard to hide. I bound them as tight as I could, covered up with a couple of thick sloppy Gino’s sweaters, and looking as masculine as I could, but quite androgynous, I went off to classes. Luckily all my classes today were in large lecture groups rather than small study or tutorial sets, so I was able to get into corners and keep out of the way of anyone who knew me well and hope that I went undiscovered.

I was glad to get back to the safety of the flat, take off my clothes, unbind my breasts and put on a bra, which was strangely comforting, get into leggings and a top, and relax for the first time that day. By the time the other girls got back I had been practising my catering skills with a lasagne and some focaccia and we all settled down for a nice meal during which the main topic of discussion seemed to be how my day had gone and whether anyone had noticed.

Tuesday and Wednesday went very much the same way, but the glue solvent arrived on the Wednesday, and I was able to feel comfortable again as Gino.

The rest of the year came and went, My studies were fine and I sailed through my exams as I had already picked up a lot of the basics at the local college and when working in the hotels. Gino was around all week, but Maria was normally about at weekends and if we were going out anywhere special. I kept my hair trimmed so that it could be styled for to suit Gino or Maria without looking out of place as either.

Although I was dressing as Gino, the girls tended to treat me as one of them, and the rules about walking around in underwear, and leaving clothes around relaxed a lot. As Linda and I had the two en-suite rooms and the others had to share, my bathroom soon became common territory and was quickly filled with all sorts of shampoos, conditioners, body washes, and a variety of creams and lotions, even some hygiene products and drying underwear, it was almost as bad as sharing at home with Gina. The girls seemed to make no allowances for the fact that I was really a boy.

We left for the summer break, having arranged for an off-campus flat for the six of us for next year and it was back home to work in the hotel again. This time I was mainly working ‘back-of-house’ in the office assisting Mum with the book-keeping and marketing and learning more about the business plans and finances, dealing with the bank and accountants, and was expected to keep up a smart professional appearance.

The only time the rules changed was when I appeared with the group as Maria, covering for when Maggie was away on holiday or visiting her folks. The act had diversified and when they had a booking for two sessions they performed the second as ‘Bucks Fizz’, so there were a lot of new songs and routines to learn.

It was good fun to be doing the shows and touring around again, but I was glad it was only for a few weeks, as I felt that I was getting sucked into femininity, spending too much time as Maria, and was trying to settle down as Gino again. I spent a lot of spare time surfing down at the beach, and as it was a warm summer it was mostly in just speedos rather than a wet suit so I quickly built up a tan, helped by my Italian genes.

Soon it was time to go back to university, and I packed up everything I thought I would need. I debated whether to take Maria’s stuff with me, but in the end decided that both I and the girls were more comfortable when she was around ,so with twice as much luggage as normally needed and a big supply of glue and solvent for the breasts, I headed back to Plymouth

To be continued.

Chapter 7 Uni life

The new flat was more or less the same size as before, but only had two shared bathrooms rather than the en-suites we had before . Luckily our timetables for classes were all staggered so we were able to sort out a rota that normally worked for us all. The main problem was the clutter of all the toiletries, and associated stuff, for 5 girls - I kept most of my stuff in my room. We all had busy times at classes this year, our group social life scaled back as we all now had other friends, but we still managed to have our nights out every couple of weeks, and I usually fitted in better as Maria. Other than that my dressing up was beginning to take a back seat.

“There’s a halloween fancy-dress party at the club just down the road later this month, do you all fancy going.”, Megan came out with one night at the pub. We all thought this should be good fun and started to talk about potential costumes. Megan suggested that we all think of a common theme for us rather than just picking something individually, she had obviously been thinking ahead and planning this as she was well ahead of the rest of us.

“ I went to see Grease the other night and thought it would be brilliant to go with a 50s theme, like ‘The Pink Ladies’, has anyone got any other ideas.” We couldn’t come up with any other suggestions for a group of girls so it was agreed that was what would be worked on. I suggested that I went as Danny with the greased hair, tight jeans and leather jacket, but the girls were having none of that, if I wanted to go with them it would have to be as a match to them. We also decided that we would do one of the songs from the show ‘Summer Nights’ but with a few changes to the lyrics to suit an all-girl group.

We got a copy of a backing tape for the song, fiddled with the lyrics, practised a song-and-dance routine, and got it to an acceptable level.

Several trips to charity shops resulted in a selection of 50s costumes, and we read up on suitable make-up and hair styles, we wanted to do a good job.

The party was actually on Halloween night, which luckily was on a Saturday, so we had all day to get ready. The bathrooms were busy as we all wanted to shampoo and condition our hair before sorting it into a 50s style. As my hair was al lot shorter than the others I was to have it styled like Betty Rizzo with lots of bouncy curls, so Linda set it in lots of small rollers and left it while I did my makeup and got dressed. The others were easier to deal with, just a bit of work with curling tongs, some backcombing to pad out the hair, and they were easily dealt with.

Make-up was a lot simpler in the fifties, mainly face-powder, mascara, and bright red lipstick, but I glammed it up a little with smokey eye-shadow and a bit of sparkle

We had all picked from the clothes selection we had gathered, and after fitting my breasts and putting on my bra and panties, several flouncy petticoats as was the style, I completed it with a plain black dress with a wide flared skirt, dressed it all up with a wide crimson belt, a chain necklace and drop earrings, white bobby-socks and black pumps. I took out my rollers, brushed out my hair, grabbed my bag and went out to see how the others had turned out.

They were all amazing, it was like a 50s school reunion. Megan had found some cheap second-hand short white blouson jackets and dyed them a vivid pink, we would have no problem with fitting in as the Pink Ladies. There were lots of group and individual photos before we set off for the club.

There was a big queue to get in, but one of the doormen, amazed at our costumes, came and took us in a side door, and said that specially selected people and groups who had made a special effort were being allowed in free to help the atmosphere get going. We asked if it was possible to go on stage and do our song later, He consulted with the manager and said that it would be fine but to leave if for a couple of hours until everyone had had a few drinks and the party was in full swing.

We had a good time dancing together, with me just copying their moves and dance styles, and having fun until we got the nod to go up on stage.

“These girls, and I am sure you can all guess who they are supposed to be, have volunteered to do a song for you, I’m not sure what they are like but let them have a go, after all it is a party.”

We started the backing tape, plugged into the club sound system, waited through the intro, and then burst into our version of ‘Summer Nights’ mimicking a lot of the actions and moves copied from the film. We went down a bomb and were asked to do a bit more of it as a reprise, before going back to our table to recover. That led to a few others having a go, but as we had practised our routine none came anywhere up to our standard, so the club went back to its planned music and dancing for the rest of the night. The club manager was so pleased at how we had really got the party started that he came over with a couple of bottles of wine and told us that it would be a free bar for us for the rest of the night.

After our show, we were a very popular group and there were a constant stream of dance partners coming over for us all, me included. At the end of the night they finished off with a couple of slow smoochy numbers and I stayed on the floor with the boy I had been dancing with. He was a good dancer and had obviously learned the basics rather than just shuffling around the floor as most of the others were doing. As it all finished and the lights came on he held me close and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips,I was shocked and almost fainted in his embrace and felt a bit dizzy. He asked if he could walk me home, but I told him that I was out with the group and that I would go back home with them. When he asked if he could see me again, I told him that I was going steady, thanked him for the dances and his kindness and went back to the girls.

We all linked arms and skipped and danced back to the flat and sat around with a glass of wine
talking into the night.

“Maria, you seemed to be having a good time at the end of the night there, that was a bit of a dreamboat you were with, didn’t you fancy going out with him sometime.”

“I don’t know Linda, I really enjoyed dancing with him, but when he kissed me I felt all funny and not right. You know that I enjoy dressing with you all, and I really love this outfit I’ve got on tonight, the 50s style is so feminine, but I am a boy and not a girl, and I don’t think I want to go any further and have relationships with other men, eventually I think I will settle down, get married, and have a normal life. I’m sorry if I disappoint you all.”

I went off to my room and left them to finish their chats. Despite what I had just said I didn’t want Maria’s night-out to finish, so after undressing and cleaning off the make-up, I put on my best satin nightie and went to bed. I tossed and turned a bit and thought about the last dance and the kiss, then about where I wanted my life to lead and decided that Gino needed to take control of his life again.

Sunday morning, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans I went out to talk to the girls over breakfast.

“ Ok, I had a great night yesterday, and have really enjoyed my times with you all, but last night really worried me and got me thinking, it wasn’t just the drink that made me say what I said last night, Maria is beginning to take me over, and I don’t think that is what I want, I need to put Maria aside for a while while I sort myself out. I hope you all understand and are happy to have a full-time Gino living with you all again, but if any of you are uncomfortable with that I will find somewhere else.”

“Don’t be daft,” Megan, as usual, was the first to come back at me , “we enjoy your company no matter whether you are wearing trousers or a skirt. you kept your side of our agreements and behaved perfectly, whereas we all bent the rules a little, taking over your bathroom and wandering around in skimpy clothes. I for one hope that I never embarrassed you, and am more than happy with whatever you want to do, in fact I’ll be really disappointed if you left.”

That was more or less repeated by them all and life continued in virtually the same routines except that I spent a lot more time with my male classmates to try to get back to being ‘one of the lads’. Maria’s clothes were kept in a locked suitcase and when we all went for our weekly night out, it was Gino with the girls, not Maria. Christmas and Easter came and went and we were into our final term of the year, and making plans for next year.
It ended up that this was to be our final term together. Carol and Sue had decided to flat-share next term with their boyfriends, who they had been going out with most of the year, Julie was taking a gap year touring around the Far East, and Linda was doing a one-year optional placement in Italy as part of her architecture course. Megan and I decided that as we got on well together, in fact her, Linda, and me were probably the closest of the group, that the two of us would continue to share next year and would find a small flat near the campus.

Once our exams were over, before we broke up for the summer we decided to have a farewell dinner together, as we had been close for almost two years, living and socialising together almost as a family, and it would be the end of an era for us all. When we were sitting together one night planning exactly what to do next year, Megan gave me a serious look.

“ I hope you don’t mind me saying, and I know you may not like it, but you should consider going to the farewell dinner as Maria, she has been a significant part of our lives for the last two years and some of the best things we have experienced together, including the Abba concert and the Halloween party, she has been with us. Don’t reply now, as I know you will be in two minds, but please have a think about it, I’m sure the other girls will appreciate it.”

I was reluctant as I thought had almost got Maria out of my head, but having slept on it for a few nights, I realised I was being a bit silly. If I had really pulled back from my life in skirts one night would not make a difference, and I really did enjoy the nights out as one of the girls and had felt really comfortable in the clothes. I agreed with Megan that I would do it, but I would need her help to get ready, and I didn’t want the others to know in advance.

We dug out my Maria clothes, and after having been in a suitcase for many months most of them needed a wash to freshen them up, and my LBD went off to the dry cleaners. Megan and I went shopping, outwardly for her but really for me. Although I was to wear my LBD, she felt that it needed to be accessorised to make it look a bit different, so I ended with a vivid red chiffon bolero, with a matching belt, 4” heel open-toed shoes and matching evening bag, and a fresh supply of make-up products.

Megan had arranged for me to have a full session with her hairdresser and beautician on the day of the dinner. I changed into one of the salon smocks, suffered a full body wax and facial masks, and had my hair soft-permed again with wash-out red streaks and tips to match my outfit, finger and toe nails shaped and painted a vivid red, and left for home dressed in leggings and a tunic top.

I phoned Megan to check whether the coast was clear and she confirmed that the others were all out going through similar treatments to what I had just been through, so I quickly sneaked back into my room, and locked the door, and prepared Maria to face the world again.

“Gino are you ready yet, it’s supposed to be us girls that keep you waiting not the other way round?”

Taking a deep breath I opened the door and went out to meet the others. To say they were surprised is an understatement, it was more astonishment, speechlessness, and shock, at the way I was dressed and how attractive I looked, but delighted and welcoming.

“It’s great to see Maria back, we were hoping that it might happen but didn’t want to force you into it, come on girls let’s go.” Linda was the first to recover from the surprise.

We had a wonderful night out, the food was delicious, the company was amazing, and we all thought it a shame that our two years together was ending., and agreed that no matter where our lives went from here that we would have regular reunions.

Back at the flat we all said our goodnights , and I went back to my room to clean off all the makeup, put on my satin nightie and lay in bed thinking about all the good times I had had as Maria, and went to sleep totally confused again’

To be continued

Chapter 8 The End of an Era

Back in Perranporth for the summer I soon settled into the routine, but was now based in our admin office rather than the Piran Hotel, working alongside Mum on the running of the business rather than the operational side in the hotels. Although the Abba act had been very successful and a bit of fun, they were not going to continue this year. One of the barmen had left for a new job, and Maria wanted to concentrate on expanding her hair and beauty business, so there were to be no distractions as Maria.

As I was now expected to show a more professional image, my hair was cut a lot shorter, although still a youthful surfer-boy look, I worked in a suit and shirt and tie, and presented myself as totally masculine. When any feminine traits re-appeared I was quickly corrected by Mum or Gina.

Mum gave me more responsibility for decision making as she said that when I joined full-time next year that she wanted to take a long holiday and not have to be constantly on the phone to agree things.

Back at Uni for my final year, I soon settled into the new flat with Megan. Predictably as it was just the two of us, we became quite close, changing from flatmates to best friends, to boyfriend and girlfriend, and finally to lovers. Megan was delighted that my time as Maria hadn’t affected my libido and demands, and that I was still very much a man, even if I did have a few peculiarities.

I had brought Maria’s things with me, but they remained in the suitcase most of the time, but they did come in useful for the occasional bit of sexual game-playing foreplay.

Reading the ‘What’s-on’ page of the local newspaper Maria noticed that The Rocky Horror Show was coming up at the local theatre, not with the West-End cast but by a local drama group. We agreed that it was supposed to be good fun and that we would give it a go, and next time she was in town she went to get some tickets.

“I was talking to the girl at the booking office and she said that they were hoping to get some of the audience to come dressed as characters from the show to build up the atmosphere, like they had at the original London show, and that they were reserving the front rows of the stalls for those making the effort, do you fancy it?”

“I don’t know , the only character I can really picture is Frank N. Furter.”

“Precisely ! It won’t take much, a basque, stockings and suspenders, high heels and lots of Goth make-up, come on it should be a laugh, and it’s not as if you haven’t been out in public before dressed up”

Megan really enjoyed the next couple of weeks finding the costumes, and then getting us ready, she seemed to take a particular delight in lacing me tightly into the basque over a sheer skin-tone body stocking for a bit of warmth. So we turned up at the theatre as a pair of ‘Franks’, and I must admit she had made a good job of it, we looked amazing. I didn’t bother this time with close shaving as I was supposed to be a transvestite not a woman, wore a short curly black wig and had enough eye make-up on to make me look like a Panda. I had borrowed a coat from Megan as I didn’t fancy walking the streets in just a black lace-up basque, body-stocking, suspenders, stockings and heels, it was far too cold, apart from anything else.

On arrival at the theatre we handed in out coats and were told to go down to the reserved front seats. We were soon surrounded by others dressed the same or as some of the other characters, even one as the compere in a formal shirt, bow tie, dinner jacket, and stockings suspenders and heels. The show was amazing, a mixture of mock horror, musical, comedy and audience participation. In fact those of us in the front rows in costume were invited onto the stage for the “Time Warp” finale song and dance. Having been on stage with the cast and amongst the others in costume, we were less embarrassed going home than we were on the way to the theatre, but still got a lot of funny looks from passers-by.

Back at the flat I was going to get changed into something a bit more comfortable when Megan suggested that it would be a shame to waste the costumes and that we should retire to the bedroom for some fun. Whether it was still the buzz of excitement from the show, or the costumes we were in, it was one of the most energetic but long-lasting and enjoyable sessions we had had together, eventually falling asleep in each others arms.

“That was so much fun last night,” said Megan when we awoke “we must do it again sometime. I know that you don’t want to get used to Maria again, but an occasional dress-up will help to keep thing spiced up, please say yes.”

University life continued, and as it was our final year it was quite intense, and there was not much time for dressing up and going out, although around the flat was a different matter. Wearing a skirt or dress helped to de-stress me from the pressures of my academic life and I’m sure kept me more relaxed and improved my grades.

The finals went very well we both seemed to go through our exams without any problems and didn’t have any real doubts about achieving our degrees.

We were soon due to be leaving university and the flat, and leaving behind a challenging and exciting part of our lives and beginning to pack our things, when we were surprised one night by a knock on the door, and there was Linda.

“I’ve had a super time working in Florence, learned an amazing amount about historical architecture, and had quite a hectic social life. I have had to come back to submit a report on my placement, was in the area, and thought it would be a great idea to meet up with my best friends again.”

“That’s brilliant,” said Megan, “where are you staying, stop with us for a few days and we can really have a good catch up. There’s a spare bed, as Gino and I have got a lot closer and are now sharing.”

“ That would be great, I was planning to go back home to my folks but a few more days won’t make any difference. I’m so happy that you two are now together, I was worried that we had all deserted you, but it has worked out for you, you always were very well suited.”

We stayed up until the early hours drinking wine and talking about the events since we were last together, before eventually going off to our beds.

A few days turned into a week, and Megan suggested that we all went out for a final meal together before we all left, when Linda suggested that Maria make a re-appearance ‘for old times sake’. One part of me was reluctant as Maria had not really been out in public for a year, but the other part of me was welcoming the opportunity. After a cat-and-mouse game of me refusing, and then pretending to reluctantly agree, the next day was spent with me getting ready. My hair was now a lot shorter, but still long enough to be styled in a feminine manner, so after my body was covered in hair removal cream, I showered and shampooed and soon had a head full of rollers waiting for Megan to finish me off. I was so out of practice that she suggested it would be better if she did my make-up up so I happily sat there whilst she recreated Maria.

I was beginning to beef out a little bit and not quite as svelte as I used to be so I even had the discomfort of wearing a tight control pantie. Luckily I still had my false breasts, but as it was going to be a one-off calm graceful night, they were just placed in my bra rather than being stuck on. My LBD had been taken out the day before and freshened up and was fit to wear, again matched with my bolero and matching belt shoes and bag. The girls had really gone to town too, Megan had loaned Linda one of her dresses and a pair of shoes, as she had only come with casual stuff. The pair of them looked so gorgeous that I thought that Gino would be proud to escort them out for the night and get lots of jealous looks, but then Gino was not around, Maria was.

We arrived at a local Italian restaurant and ‘the three beautiful Ladies’ got a lot of attention from the typical smiling slim-hipped Italian waiters. What they didn’t know was that I had been brought up speaking Italian as well as English, and although I was a bit rusty with the language, I still knew enough to let the girls know all the compliments and suggestive comments that were being made about us.

We had a wonderful meal and a really enjoyable night, and when we left I waved at the waiters and smiled. “ Buona notte, ragazzi, grazie mille per l'ottimo pasto. Tutti abbiamo adorato le cose gentili e sfacciate che hai detto di noi. Divertiti.” ( Good night, guys, thank you so much for the great meal. We all loved the kind and cheeky things you said about us. Have fun ). We left them surprised tongue-tied, and embarrassed, but smiling, and we all had a good giggle about it as we walked back to the flat.

Linda left the next day with us all promising to keep in touch and meet up regularly. Linda had kept in touch with Julie, Carol and Sue and promised that when we next got together it would be all six of us again.

I was soon headed back to Perranporth, Megan had a few things to sort out at home and getting a job and would join me as soon as she could. As she now had qualifications as an accountant, although subject to getting field experience prior to becoming fully professionally qualified, she was able to get a job anywhere and ended up in a medium sized partnership in Truro, and moved in with us at home.

Whilst I was away, the business had continued to grow and be very profitable and Mum had been able to buy back the family home that we had left many years ago. The people she had sold it to, and had lived there since, had died, their family was not interested in keeping it as they worked in other parts of the country and it was too big to keep as a holiday home, so she had got it at a very good price, even allowing for spending a bit of money on essential maintenance and refurbishment and freshening it up. Like many farmhouses it had been extended many times over the years as traditionally farmers had big families, with all generations living together. We all effectively had our own apartments as well as all the family areas, so Gina and her fiancé Bob, Mum, and Megan and I all had our own space but still had most of our meals together as a family.

Things were changing in the business, Mum’s partner, who had worked with her to build it up, was retiring and it was agreed that his shares would gradually be bought back and transferred to me, so at the age of 22 I was registered as a director of ‘The Piran Hotel Group’, which now comprised another two hotels in Ilfracombe and Barnstaple in North Devon in addition to the Piran Country House Hotel, and I was gradually taking on more roles and responsibility. Mum had been very shrewd buying into hotels was beginning to take a back seat, whilst retaining control of policy and general direction, she left the day-to-day executive running of the business to me, although she wasn’t shy to tell me when she thought I had not done the best thing.

Over the next couple of years, both Megan and I became very busy and absorbed in our jobs, but we still found a lot of time to develop our personal relationship and to Mum’s delight we decided to formalise things and got engaged. Although we were both developing our careers, and didn’t want to “upset the apple cart” by any public appearances of me as Maria, both of us continued to enjoy our dress-up sessions in the privacy of our own apartment and, when Bob was away visiting his folks, at occasional family dinners and get-togethers with Gina and Mum. I still found it very relaxing and enjoyable to feel the softness and comfort of women’s clothes and Megan seemed to enjoy Maria’s occasional outings too.

To be continued

Chapter 9

The Wedding Seasons

In the 1980’s people tended to get married in their 20s, rather than as now in the 21st century waiting into their 30s, that is if they decide to get married at all, so over the next few years we attended the weddings of most of our university group.

Julie had met a boy from New Zealand whilst on her travels, and planned to live out there, but she came home to Bristol for her wedding. Carol and Sue were to be bridesmaids along with some of her family. As only her husbands immediate family were making the trip , it was a reasonably low-key affair, but we went up to Bristol for the weekend to be with them. The other girls were all there too, and they all went to her ‘Hen” night to which Maria was invited, but I declined. However Maria did join them for a quiet meal together the night before the ceremony.

It then became a tradition that Maria would join them for a meal before the event. At Carol’s big traditional wedding, at Sue’s Registry office marriage, and at Emma’s country house ceremony we had wonderful evenings reminiscing about our times together at Uni, but again I skipped the hen nights and Gino was the guest at the wedding ceremonies and receptions.

Linda however had different ideas, she wanted Megan and Maria to be her chief bridesmaids as she had no close female relatives. Whilst I would have been delighted to be dressed up in all the finery and being pampered and preened getting prepared by the salon staff, I felt that this was just too much and that I would be too exposed, being in the spotlight for the whole day and evening. I did agree to be a groomsman for Jack, her husband-to-be, which would allow me to escort Megan back down the aisle after the ceremony. I had got to know Jack quite well as the four of us had frequent get-togethers, usually at Bodmin or Liskeard, which are both roughly half-way between her home in Plymouth and ours. This time however I had the pleasure and privilege of attending both the groom’s ‘stag’ and the bride’s ‘hen’ night.

Rather than just drunken Pub crawls both had decided on similar theme nights, luckily on consecutive nights so they did not clash. Both were big fans of the crime shows on TV featuring Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot, and so opted for Agatha Christie Murder Mystery Nights at one of the big local hotels just outside Plymouth, where we had all booked in for a few days

As we were particularly close to Linda, I had agreed to go to Linda’s hen night on the promise that nobody would know who I really was, and that I was just Maria, a friend from university. We were all to go in character so agreed a theme of 1920s ‘flappers’.

Back in the hotel room, i went through the normal routine of close shaves of all visible parts, face, arms, legs, chest, armpits, followed by moisturisers and all sorts of lotions and potions to freshen up my skin. There was no need to do anything major with my hair as we all had short bob wigs with headbands to keep them in place, very 1920s flappers !

Megan had got us matching outfits of two thigh-length sleeveless scoop-neck shift dresses, decorated with bands of long tassels, finished off with simple pearl ear studs and a string of imitation peals as a necklace, and strappy chunky-heeled sandals. As was the style we had on very pale powder make-up, bright cherry red lips and dark-shadowed eyelids. Women and girls definitely have more fun in costume than is available for men. We found out when we went down to the dining room that there were not many others in period costume.

Altogether there were twelve of us in our party, on two adjacent tables of six,. They had kept us in two groups, so that we could have more fun solving the clues. Murder Mystery nights usually take the form of several actors mixing on the tables with the guests, pretending to be just another guest, and their their group somehow working into the activities a murder by persons unknown, but having left several clues when discussing who they were with the other guests. There was to be a prize for the team to solve the mystery of ‘who-done-it’ and give the best explanation of the clues.

We had our meal and wine, and then mingled and chatted with other guests, when the lights suddenly went out, there was a loud bang and when the lights came back on there was a body on the floor with a bright red stain on his chest. Although we all knew it was an act, we were still shocked. We had the rest of the evening to chat with others that we suspected, to try to identify the murderer, in fact because the group of us were dressed in costume we collectively became the prime suspects.

To allow all the guests to mingle and look for clues, the rest of the evening was a normal social night, drinking, dancing, and having a good time. we were all up on the floor dancing, and I soon found I was dancing just like the others, hips swinging, arms up in the air, with all the tassels on my dress swaying and swinging. Girls are much more expressive in their dancing than boys and it is easy to understand why they are more keen on it than their partners.

Between us we got an awful lot of nominations as the murderer, because we were so outgoing that other guests didn’t think us genuine, but that let us through to win as the only group that had identified all the clues, it ended up as being a jealous jilted ex-fiancée of the victim. The prize was a discount voucher for the hotel which we gave to Linda, and some bottles of wine which we all shared. It wasn’t as riotous a night as some hen nights, but we all really enjoyed ourselves and went off to our bedrooms happy.

At Megan’s request, we just cleaned off our makeup, left on the wigs and clothes and started slowly and sexily taking off each others clothes items one by one in sexy dance routines, building up our passion, eventually falling into bed together for a night of energetic and repeated love-making. Maria definitely added a bit of spice to our sex life.

The following night I went out with the boys for Jack’s stag night which was completely different from Linda’s. It was a much more boozy and boisterous affair, lots of drink, near-the-knuckle jokes and pranks. We didn’t take the mystery solving too seriously and did not repeat the prize-winning effort of the girls. We ended up going on a pub crawl after the event night had finished, eventually somehow finding our way back to the hotel, going off to our bedrooms and me crashing out on the bed. It was not as enjoyable as the previous night out with Linda and the girls, and I knew which I would prefer in the future. in the morning I got in touch with the acting group who had performed the murder mystery and promised to arrange a booking at one of our hotels.

The wedding ceremony went off beautifully and I was really proud walking back down the aisle arm-in -arm with Megan, who looked absolutely gorgeous, and started thinking about needing to plan our own wedding. The wedding reception went off smoothly, the only hitch being that Linda and Megan kept getting asked what had happened to Maria that had been at the hen night, and what a shame it was that she couldn’t be at the wedding - if only they knew! Linda had bought gifts for her bridesmaids, a small diamond pendant and matching ear studs, and I was shocked but delighted when she privately gave me a set too, to thank me for my support and friendship.

Mainly because we were both so busy with our work commitments and developing our careers, but partly because we were already living together, and partly because Gina and Bob had already announced their wedding plans which we didn’t want to hijack, we were in no rush to ‘tie the knot’ and it was another two years before we became the last of our “gang” to formalise things. As Megan only had her immediate family, parents, one brother, two Aunties and Uncles, and most of her friends were now local to Truro or Perranporth, she decided to get married in our local church rather than her home town. As we had plenty of time to organise things we ensured that that The Piran was available for all our wedding guests to stay and that our function room was free for the reception.

Obviously this time it was not appropriate for Maria to make an appearance. My stag night was a surfing/barbecue/drinking session down at Perranporth beach followed by a drinking session in The Green Parrot with a lot of my old school and college friends, Gina’s fiancé Bob, and Bob and John from the Abba band.

Gina, Linda, the girls from Uni, and some of Gina’s friends that I had spent a lot of time with at school made up the numbers for Megan’s hen night out, which was a meal and drinks at The Piran, a much more sedate and civilised affair than my night out.

The wedding ceremony and reception went off without any hitches, Megan was absolutely stunning, and there was no prouder man in the world when we walked back down the aisle, and spent the next hour getting photographed with our guests and family groups . The hotel staff had really excelled in getting our function room dressed up for the reception and the meals prepared, i thought a special bonus would be appropriates for them. It was a day that I will always remember.

To be continued

Chapter 10

Changes

We fell very much into a routine for the next few years, the business continued to thrive, although we had stopped expanding as it was now becoming more difficult to keep tabs on everything. The “surfer” hotels and B&Bs that we had started with were still paying their way, but the market was getting very competitive and a large part of their income was paid out to the people that were running them for us, so we sold them off to their managers for not much more than the property value, leaving us with the three hotels, and a healthy bank balance.

Megan and I had been blessed with a set of twins, Christopher and Christine, known as Kit and Kirsty in the family, obviously twins must be in the family genes. Megan worked part-time, mainly working on the accounts for our family business, and she and Gina took turns day-on day-off managing their careers and raising their children. As we were all still living together in the family home it was a very convenient and workable relationship, allowing the girls to continue with their careers but giving the convenience of on-hand baby-sitters and help when needed. When the twins were still babies, as Maria, I shared a lot of the nursemaiding duties with Megan, and I delighted in taking a mother’s role as well as a father’s, but once they were toddlers and more aware we felt things had to change and Maria went back into the closet.

Mum was now going off on frequent holidays with friends, in particular with Jack, a chap she had known in the “Young Farmers Club” when she was a teenager, and was away in Spain touring around and staying a few days at Paradors. Paradors are mainly government owned
kinds of luxury hotel, usually located in a converted historic building such as a monastery or castle.

She came back full of enthusiasm and suggested that the market in Spain was still very lively, particularly at the luxury end of the market, and that we should consider looking at similar properties to see if there was anything suitable, I agreed that it was worth looking into and that we should find out more about the opportunities. Most of the suitable properties in Spain were already government owned and managed, so opportunities were limited, However next-door in Portugal the market was still relatively quiet and Pousadas (the Portuguese equivalent of Paradors) were much cheaper and more readily available than in Spain. Mum and Jack went off again to Portugal and a month later we had a very excited phone call from her.

”We’ve spent the last week staying at a pousada in Castelo de Paiva about 30 miles East of Porto. It’s an absolutely delightful place, full of character with amazing views. The owners have plans to retire and are looking to sell, but they want it to continue to be run as a family-owned hotel rather than selling out to one of the big hotel groups. I’ve had a look at the accounts and the booking register and it seems to make a reasonable profit every year. If you are still interested, why don’t you and Megan come over for the weekend and have a look to see if you agree with making an offer for it.”

Megan and I flew over, leaving the twins at home with Gina and Bob, met Mum and Jack, and had a good look around the property and the area.. The local tourist office told us that the area was becoming much more popular, particularly at the high end of the market, as the coastal resorts and big cities were becoming very touristy and commercial. Megan cast her accountant’s eyes over the books did a full audit going back several years and confirmed that it should be a viable commercial venture. Two months later we were the new owners of ‘O Pousada Senhorial’ (The Manor Lodge), which was a relative bargain as it had taken only about half of the money we had raised selling our small hotels and guest houses.

Before signing the purchase contract, we had flown Linda over to Portugal to cast her architect’s eyes over the Pousada, and she confirmed that it was in good condition and would need very little modification to bring it a bit more up-to-date. It already had a lot of historic character which would not be altered, but improvements would be made to improve en-suite facilities and to create a couple of large family suites by combining two adjacent rooms.

We agreed that Mum and Jack would stay in ‘O Pousada Senhorial’ for the immediate future to work with the previous owners on a smooth transfer, and to oversee the modifications and other minor changes.

Over the last few years Megan and I had been very busy raising the twins and running our businesses and hadn’t really had a holiday and thought that it was about time we had a break with just the two of us going somewhere relaxing. As we were so involved with the hotels, we wanted to do something totally different and booked a self-catering cottage on the edge of Snowdonia in Wales, not too far from Conwy and Caernarfon. Gina agreed that it would be more relaxing if we went on our own and had a second honeymoon whilst she looked after the twins, and Megan and I made our travel plans.

“You know, we haven’t seen Maria for a while because of your wanting her to remain a secret, why not use this holiday to bring her back into our lives, you know you enjoy it, and so do I, as long as Gino is around at bed-time.”

“ If you’re sure, I would really like that, you know it always helps to relax me and get rid of my stresses.”

We brought Gina into our plans and the day before our trip she spent a lot of time with me, a full body wax, trimming and shaping my hair into a short but very feminine volumised bob cut with sun-bleach streaks, shaped my eyebrows into a more graceful arch which would still be acceptable when I came back as Gino, used all sorts of astringents and moisturisers to tone my skin, shaped and polished my nails with false extensions, and totally restyled my make-up to be more in keeping with my age and status as a mature professional woman.

With my boobs firmly attached and with padded panties to give some extra shape to my hips and bottom, (as I couldn’t get away with a sylph-like teenage figure at my age) wearing a pair of slacks, a thigh length cotton top and comfy flats for driving, we set off on the trek up north to Snowdonia, changing over about every two hours to save long rest stops.

In case of any mishaps or problems, I had borrowed Gina’s driving licence, we were still similar enough for me to to pass as her, except for the length of her hair, and women’s hair styles are always changing, so the photo ID would not be out of place. The cottage we had booked was in a delightful valley near Rowen about 5 miles out of Conwy, with magnificent views and the nearest neighbours were about half-a mile away further up the valley, where we had to collect the keys.

It had been a long drive and we just wanted to relax and recover, so after unpacking and settling in, we changed out of our smart travelling clothes into leggings, chunky woollen sweaters and walking boots and went out to explore the area. We were coming back feeling refreshed but tired after a 2 hour walk, passing the neighbours house, when someone called out to us.

“Prynhawn Da, did you enjoy your walk?”

I had looked up a few of the more basic Welsh phrases, as I knew that the country areas around here were mainly populated with Welsh speakers and was able to reply.

“Prynhawn Da, good afternoon, I’m afraid that is about as far as I can go in Welsh. We did enjoy our walk, this is a beautiful area, you are lucky to live here all the time.”

“Thank you for trying to be polite by learning a few Welsh phrases, it makes a change, most of our visitors don’t even bother to learn how to say please and thank you. We do live here all the time, although it can be a bit bleak in the depths of Winter so we tend to go over to Spain for a few weeks in January and February to get away from the worst of the weather. Do you want to come in for a tea or coffee, it can be a bit lonely out here and I always welcome the opportunity for a chat.”

We introduced ourselves as Gina and Megan, sisters-in-law, and told her that we were having a bit of a break whilst our husbands looked after the families and the house. Elinor, our neighbour said that was a big coincidence as her sister was also called Megan and that it was a Welsh variant of the name Margaret. Her husband Ifor worked nearer Conwy, managing a privately-owned country house bed-and-breakfast hotel, but liked to escape to the peace and calm of the hills when he left work.

We stayed and chatted for about half-an-hour, telling her a bit more about us also being in the hotel business and about Perranporth and Cornwall, before setting of back to the cottage. Although we had enjoyed her company, I was glad to leave as I was sure that if we stayed much longer that my guard would slip and I would give away my real self.

“You were brilliant in there, I’m sure Elinor had no idea that you weren’t really Gina. I think you need not worry about being discovered, so just relax and enjoy your holiday.”

We hadn’t brought any food with us and hadn’t stopped to shop on the way so later we went down to the local hotel in Rowen for a meal and a drink. The food on the menu was standard home-cooked fare, but very tasty and wholesome at a reasonable price, and we thought that this could be a regular stop for us during our holiday. The clientele was mainly tourists and visitors staying in the local guest houses and camping sites, but it seemed to be well used by locals too, easily recognised by their Welsh conversations, and the inn had a a pleasant friendly atmosphere.

We spent the next few days seeing the local sights, Conwy with its medieval castle town walls and quayside, Caernarfon with its castle and shops and stunning views over to Anglesey, several magnificent gardens and tourist spots, and generally touring the area. We decided to have a more relaxing day for a change and just walk the hills near the cottage. On the way back we met Elinor again who invited us in for a drink and some home-made cake, and a chat about how we were enjoying our holiday and where we had been.

“There is a Twmpath in the village hall tonight, it’s a bit like a Ceilidh or barn dance, with a bit of music, singing, and dancing, Ifor and I will be going, do you fancy joining us? It will mainly be locals and a lot of the chatter will be in Welsh, but we normally get some of the visitors coming so there should be enough in English for you to know what’s going on, it will give you a chance to experience a bit of the local culture.”

Before I had a chance to think about it, Megan, as normal, was the first to reply, “We’d be delighted it sounds like good fun, don’t you agree Gina?” I didn’t even have a chance to have a choice in the matter.

Elinor said it would be a pretty casual affair and there was no need to go particularly dressy, but we thought we’d at least be presentable. After a quick shower and tidying up our hair, and slapping on a bit of make-up, I dressed in a turquoise tiered peasant skirt with a white cotton blouse decorated with broderie anglais on the collar sleeves and hem, smart but casual, with a cardigan over my shoulders for the short drive to the hall. Elinor and Ifor picked us up, showed us into the hall, found a table and Ifor went over to get a bottle of wine for us to share and a beer for himself. As it was the first time we had met Ifor we all told a bit more about ourselves, although in my case it was a bit of a mixture of Gina and Gino ,and they introduced us to some other friends and neighbours who all seemed very pleasant and welcoming, particularly when they were told that I had at least tried to learn some basic Welsh phrases.

It was a really enjoyable night with lively music and singing, a mixture of traditional Welsh tunes and folk dances, country music barn dances, and general party dance tunes. Megan and I, as two of the few unattached -and if I may modestly say, most attractive- females, were in much demand for the dances, and if we had been in the market for it, I’m sure would have had no problems finding partners for the rest of the evening.

We invited Elinor and Ifor in for a drink when they dropped us off, but he had to be up early the next morning for work. With a quick “Diolch yn fawr iawn am noson ddifyr iawn” (Thank you very much for a very enjoyable evening), we all said goodnight with hugs and kisses and they went off home.

We enjoyed the rest of our stay, and went out for a couple of meals with Elinor and Ifor but unfortunately not at his hotel as they only did breakfasts, snack lunches and drinks, not evening dinners, and we became really good friends. They suggested places for us to visit, particularly the train up to the top of Mount Snowdon, and we were particularly lucky that it was a nice clear day and the view from the top was amazing.

With promises to keep in touch and for Elinor and Ifor to visit us down in Cornwall, we said our goodbyes and made the journey back down to Cornwall, although we were not sure how we would deal with a visit from them and my transformation from Gina to Gino.

To be continued

Chapter 11

My Times as Mum

About 6 months later Megan had a call from Elinor saying that they probably wouldn’t be able to visit as Ifor could soon be out of a job. The owners of the hotel he managed were in financial difficulties, not from the hotel but from other interests, and were looking to sell, probably to one of the chains who no doubt would put in their own team. Megan and I decided that she would go up by train to look over their accounts with Ifor with a possibility of us buying it, leaving Ifor to run it with a share in the business, much as we had done with our hotels in Cornwall.

She talked with Ifor about his suggestions to improve and expand the hotel and how it could be developed. Although the hotel was large enough to sustain a restaurant doing evening meals, Ifor felt that the local area was already quite well catered for at both the ‘cheap and cheerful’ and at the gourmet ends of the market, so they decided to leave that for the moment. She had told him about the murder mystery themed night at Linda’s pre-wedding parties and he confirmed that he didn’t know of anything like that in North Wales and it would be worth looking into, maybe with different themes, hauntings, dances, motor club conventions and many more.

Megan went over to see Elinor for a chat, but over a few glasses of wine her tongue became loose and the truth came out about me and my times as Maria and Gina. Elinor and Ifor were shocked by this, but not in a critical manner, more that they would never have guessed. Surprisingly for people born and raised in a very traditional area with strong chapel influence, they had very liberal views and said that they had really enjoyed my company and that I would be more than welcome to come back as either Gino or as Maria/Gina, whichever I preferred.

Megan reported back that the place seemed to have good prospects, and although I was a bit angry at her letting out my secrets, I was very pleased with the discussions she had had with Ifor. Having discussed it over the phone with Mum and having had full surveyors reports on the property, I made contact with the owners and put in a formal offer for the hotel, which was accepted, but before signing contracts, the owners wanted to meet with the group chairman, Jean Morgagni, Mum, to discuss long-term proposals. They were adamant that although I was now effectively running the business, I was not the major shareholder, and that they wanted to meet ‘the person with the casting-vote’. They were concerned that the hotel which had been in their family for 3 generations, and which they looked on as their family home, would be ripped apart and their memories destroyed.

Mum had now effectively settled in ‘O Pousada Senhorial’ and I was reluctant to drag her all the way back from Portugal for a meeting that would only last for a couple of hours, particularly as this was my project and I would have to see it through for many years to come. Talking it through with Megan and Gina, it was suggested that, as I had had all the discussion by phone and had never met face to face and already knew all the details, I go to meet them as Mum. After all, I had already proven myself to be quite passable as a woman. The idea did not come from any of us in particular, but just developed as we mulled over what to do, it always surprised me how life’s circumstances kept drawing me back to femininity.

It was all arranged, and dressed in a formal skirted business suit which Megan had found in an upmarket ‘pre-owned’ shop , wearing a natural mid-length auburn wig which Gina had enhanced with grey/silver streaks to help to age me, and with toned-down make up more appropriate for an older woman, I took the train from Truro up to Conwy. It was a full day’s journey, but it was almost as quick as driving but a lot more relaxing and it gave me time to plan our discussions.

Elinor was waiting for me at Conwy station, but did not recognise me as I approached her, which pleased me, and she was totally shocked when I went to give her a welcome hug. There was a sharp intake of breath and a look of amazement when she finally recognised me.

“ My God, that is amazing, you look totally different from when you were here as Gina, I would have been standing waiting for ages looking for you if you hadn’t come over to me.”

“Gina is a wonder with make-up and hair, you should see the ‘before and after’ changes that she has done for brides and for people wanting to make a good impression at job interviews. Let’s get my case into the car and we can get off, am I staying with you or in the hotel?”

“Ifor insisted that it would be more professional if he booked you into the hotel and it would help to distance yourself from him during your discussions, if you were staying with us it could look like
a bit of insider trading, if you know what I mean.”

We went out for a meal in Rowen for the evening and the chat was a mixture of business, social catch-up, and lots of enquiries about my ‘dressing’. Without getting too personal I assured them that Megan and I were happy with me wearing women’s clothes occasionally and that otherwise our married life was normal. I told them that despite saucy headlines in the popular newspapers, like many cross-dressers I was not gay, but just felt more relaxed and content when dressed.

I really enjoyed the atmosphere when we went back to the hotel for a nightcap drink, and was pleased with the overall atmosphere and re-assured that I had made the right decision to purchase it. The next morning I got up early to prepare myself for the day. Showered, powdered and made-up, I dressed in the same business suit I had travelled in , but having left it in the steamy bathroom after my shower the creases had dropped out and it was freshened up. Hair brushed and sprayed and with a spritz of Allure, I put on my dress 4” heeled court shoes, picked up my shoulder bag and briefcase and went down for breakfast before my meeting.

“Good morning Mrs. Morgagni, I’m Charles Davies, I’m pleased to meet you at last after all my discussions with your son. Let me tell you that he is a shrewd businessman and drove a hard bargain.”

“Please call me Jean, although this is a business meeting it is nice to have the personal touches. I will keep your comments about Gino up my sleeve for a while, I don’t want him getting big-headed and ‘too big for his boots’ I replied with a smile and a bit of a blush.

We talked through the details of our deal and the proposals for the business. Charles was particularly pleased that we would be keeping on Ifor and all the staff to manage and run the place, and that Ifor would be a partner, so keeping a local link to the ownership. Eventually we shook hands and signed the sale contract documents and the business was concluded. Luckily I had been signing cheques and documents for years in my mum’s name and it would take an expert to even think that the signature was not genuine

“ Well you are now the proud owner of ‘Y Faenor Gwyn’ (The White Manor), I’ve really enjoyed meeting you Jean , and as we will still be living in the area I hope to see you again. To celebrate our deal can I invite you out for a meal tonight with my wife Mary and, if you like, let’s include Ifor and Elinor.”

I had only brought my business suit and some casual slacks and tops, and so, having called Elinor about tonights meal, we had to rush into Conwy to get a suitable dress. Luckily Elinor knew the best places to look and we both ended up with quite glamorous cocktail dresses, mine was a delightful sleeveless shawl-collar affair with a nipped waist in a gorgeous shade of crimson and Elinor’s was a beautiful satiny figure-hugger in a delightful cornflower blue. She was even more delighted that as this was effectively a business meeting with her acting on behalf of the company, that The Piran Group would pick up the bill.

Suitably freshened up, make up and hair restored, and wearing my new dress, Ifor and Elinor picked me up and we met Charles and Mary at the characterful Castle Hotel in Conwy. Charles was the life and soul of the party and the perfect gentleman and host. He kept saying he was delighted to be out with three of the loveliest ladies in the Conwy Valley area. As well as being a perfect gentleman, Charles was also a bit of a smooth charmer, and I am sure he was “a bit of a lad” back in the day.

Having said our goodbyes to Charles and Mary, we went back to what was now our hotel for a final celebratory drink.

“You know Maria (as they had now agreed to call me), you come across perfectly natural, and nobody, even in close company like tonight, would ever consider you to be anything other than a beautiful woman.” Elinor said, with an agreeing nod from Ifor, “ We will have no problem if you and Megan want to come back for another girls’ holiday, you can stay with us, or in the cottage, or a suite in the hotel whenever you want, and we’ll take you to another Twmpath or a choir concert to get a bit more Welsh culture. You were both very popular at the last Twmpath and the villagers keep asking when you are coming back.

Megan and I spent many happy holidays at the cottage, and in later years when they could appreciate that my dressing, although unusual, was not doing anyone any harm and did not mean that there were any problems between their mother and I, Kit and Kirsty came along too and got to enjoy the fresh mountain air. Soon there was an increase in the use of the Cornish language and regional pride and the children were learning the basics at school. Whilst totally different in many ways, Cornish and Welsh had common Celtic roots and the kids soon took to learning phrases and words when they went out with the locals.

We all became accepted into the local community and joined several of the local clubs and groups. There was no official Women’s Institute in the Conwy Valley, but there was a loose group that did much the same things, meetings, discussions, cookery sessions and such like, but much more informal, and Megan and I got involved whenever we were in the area. At one meeting it was suggested that it would be good if someone from the hotel group gave a talk and could we arrange it.

I didn’t want to introduce them to Gino as someone was bound to see too many similarities with Maria, so it was agreed that I would attend as Mum, as people in the area already knew about her from when we had purchased the hotel, and with the right make-up to give a bit of ageing, there was enough difference to not make a connection. Obviously I couldn’t be two people at once, so Maria went back to Cornwall ‘to deal with some business’ whilst ‘Mum’ arrived at the Cottage

The group met in a function room at ‘Y Faenor Gwyn’, and appearing as Mum in a summer frock and sandals, I told them all about how ‘I’ had started out with very little after my husband had died, raised the family as a single-mum, but by working hard, and with a bit of luck had build up a business covering four hotels and the pousada in the Douro valley. I told them how delighted I was when the opportunity came up to own Y Faenor Gwyn, and how well Ifor was now running the place. There was a lot of discussion about barriers for woman in business, but I replied that many of these were imaginary and if a woman had a positive approach and self-confidence there was no reason why she could not succeed. Standing so comfortably in front of a room full of women, who can price your clothes and accessories within five minutes, and pass judgement on hair, make -up and accessories instantly, gave me a lot of confidence that I was still able to successfully pass myself off as a woman.

The closing remarks in my talk really got me thinking about my Mum and how well she had done to bring us up and grow the business, and that there was no reason why being a woman should restrict what you can do with your life.

To be continued

Chapter 12

New Adventures

Mum was enjoying staying in Portugal, particularly in the winter, and rarely came back to Cornwall, so twice a year the whole family, Megan and I, Kit and Kirsty, Gina and Bob, and their two girls Emma and Jane, flew over to Porto where we were met by Jack for the trip out to Castelo de Paiva. With the minor changes that Linda had suggested, the pousada was much improved, and with the area becoming a more popular destination, it was becoming a very successful addition to the business.

On our next visit after my adventures in Wales, away from the others, I told Mum about me impersonating her at the Conwy Valley women’s club and how successful it had been. The only problem was that a couple of the women had suggested making a booking for a holiday at ‘O Pousada Senhorial’, and that obviously they would know that the Mrs Jean Morgagni they had met was not the same as the one at the Pousada.

The thought of me standing up in front of the women’s club talking about how to be a successful businesswoman really amused her, and it took her a while for her to reply. “That’s no problem, other than the general manager, who I can trust to be discreet, all the staff only know me as Senhora Morgagni, a relative of the owners, and do not know my christian name, so if I do have any visitors from Wales i will just introduce myself as your Auntie Joan. By the way, have you any photos of your talk at the club, i would like to see what Gina and you think I should look like.”

It was not long before our next university re-union, which was now only every two years, rather than annually, but still gave us all a chance to catch up on changes. After our meal when we were leaving, Emma took me to one side and asked to meet me the next day for lunch, away from the others, but Megan could come too, as she wanted to discuss something with me. Intrigued, the three of us met up at a local restaurant and found a private corner table, but as we were going home immediately afterwards I was there as Gino, not Maria.

“Come on Emma, you are looking very unsure, you obviously have something to ask us, just spit it out, we aren’t going to bite you.”

“This is hard for me to ask but I would like a big favour from you. My brother is a bit like you Gino, only he is now living full-time as a woman and is considering a full transition. I don’t really understand but I am sure that you do even if you only dress occasionally. He is now living near Barnstaple and has been going to a local support group for TGs. They normally meet in each others houses, but are now thinking that instead of hiding away they would like to go out and meet in a more social atmosphere at a pub or hotel. There are lots of hotels in Barnstaple but they feel that it would be more discreet and less chance of any of them being recognised if they were a little bit out of the area. Do you think any of your places might be able to fit them in?”

“I would love to help, but we don’t have any of the local hotels up the West Coast anymore except for The Piran and other than the main function room which will probably be far too large, we do not have any private rooms for hire there, and, besides, it is almost a 2hour drive from Barnstaple, let me check with some other hotels. As you know, I am fairly well known around here and am therefore very discreet with my dressing. Except on special occasions, I prefer to keep my dressing behind closed doors or away from the local area, so I am not familiar with what goes on with the support groups. Leave it with me and I will let you know.”

I actually knew that our hotel, The Lundy, just outside Ilfracombe, would probably be suitable, but I wanted to check with Charles, the General Manager there, that there would not be a problem with him or his staff dealing with the TG group. It turned out that the hotel already had an occasional booking from a TG group in Bristol who had weekend breaks there, and that his staff did not seem to mind, in fact he thought that a few of the male staff were gay themselves anyway and couldn’t really object. The Lundy had a private function room with its own bar and direct access from the car park and was only about 20 minutes away from Barnstaple.

I went back to Emma and gave her the details, but asked that I would prefer it if they discussed it directly with the hotel rather than through me, as I didn’t want to be seen by the staff as doing them any special favours. This worked out well and apparently they had an excellent night out, meal and drinks, and were well received without any embarrassment at the Lundy and made a regular monthly booking, for which the hotel manager was very grateful. Gina went up to their meetings a couple of times to give demonstrations on make-up and hair styles which were more appropriate to their special needs, particularly for those who did not dress full-time, drawing on her experiences and experiments with me over the years. These became a regular feature of their meetings, with local beauticians and hairdressers taking over Gina’s duties.

I made a point of visiting The Lundy on one of their meeting nights and looked in over the CCTV to see that they were all enjoying themselves. It appeared to be a mixture of genuine women, probably wives of some of the group or girls who had transitioned, some fairly passable crossdressers, and some who still had a long way to go, who made me grateful that I was not particularly tall or musclebound and that when I became Maria I was totally convincing as female. Chatting with Charles afterwards I asked about the weekend breaks of the Bristol TG group and how they worked that around the other hotel guests, and was surprised that the numbers were enough to block book the hotel and the function room, leaving just the bar and public restaurant in the other wing for use by others.

I thought this might work at Y Faenor Gwyn, and later I suggested this to Ifor , told him that it was totally up to him whether to follow up on it and whether he felt it appropriate for the area. the hotel was in its own private grounds with quite extensive gardens, and so a weekend break there would offer more social options than mostly being confined in one wing at the Lundy. After talking to the staff he thought it might be a useful addition to the other self-contained theme breaks that he already catered for, but wasn’t sure about how to advertise this or make contact with TG groups. Together we came up with the idea of a trial run by offering the group using The Lundy a heavily discounted weekend break there with some pre-arranged activities and visits, on the condition that if it all worked out for them and the hotel that they would make contact with other similar groups to suggest more visits.

I went up with Gina who was going to give them more in-depth demonstrations and tips on hair and make-up techniques, and Elinor had arranged that one of the boutiques in Conwy would provide some sample outfits for a fashion show, to give all the ‘girls’ a full female weekend experience. I kept away from the sessions, but with Ifor kept a general eye on it all to ensure that it was going smoothly. It was amazing how Gina’s demonstration and make-overs greatly improved the appearance of many of the ‘girls’ and at their final night dinner dance many of them looked quite passable, with new make-up, hairstyles and outfits, and went back home with a lot more confidence . This led to a lot more makeover weekends with groups coming from Chester, Manchester and Liverpool, and even further afield. Elinor had found an excellent local beautician and hairdresser to carry on from what Gina had started and the boutique were delighted to have a new sales market which was usually quite profitable for them.

Life was settling into a routine, the twins were now off doing their own things at university, the business was ticking over nicely and we were living a quite comfortable life. Kit was not intending to follow me and my Mum into the hotel business, he was more interested in making a career in property development, but Kirsty was shaping up nicely at university, and when working in the Piran, developing to become the future third generation head of The Piran Group. Following on from her demonstration sessions at the TG groups meetings, Gina was building up a quite big sideline to her business with discreet internet sales and on-line videos for the TG community. My family was definitely living proof that with the right attitude there was no reason why women could not make a success in business.

Kirsty fitted into the business very smoothly and I gradually drifted into Mum’s role as the wise old head of the business and Kirsty took my earlier role looking after things on a day-to-day basis, This allowed Megan and I to have more time for our visits to Snowdonia to Elinor and Ifor, and Maria was becoming a regular part of my life again.
The following years were mixture of delight and sadness. Kit married his long-term girlfriend Jenny and carried on the family tradition of twins, Ronnie and Rosie, and a second set, Tricia and Tina. Kirsty was in a steady relationship but did not seem to be in a hurry to settle down with a family, and spent most of her time running the family firm. Unhappily Mum contracted cancer and, after a short illness, passed away, and was brought home to lie next to her husband Luigi in the graveyard of the local church in Perranporth.

Maria and I decided to follow Mum’s example and retire to ‘O Pousada Senhorial’. After long discussions we decided that as I now had no major business responsibilities, that I would live full-time as Maria, but neither Megan nor I wanted me to go the whole way down the path of transition as we both enjoyed our intimate moments together as husband and wife.

We continued like this for a few years before deciding that it was too inconvenient to have to change back and to between Maria and Gino for our frequent travel back to the UK and the problems with my Gino passport. I started on a course of female hormones to enable me to get a gender recognition certificate and a new passport, and officially became Maria. The doctors arranged the hormone level sufficient to help me develop breasts, a narrower waist and a more fleshy bottom and hips and generally soften my features, but still allow me to function as Gino in the bedroom. Otherwise I was living completely as Maria, with Megan and I having adjacent suites at the pousada.

We often sit on our balcony with a bottle of local Douro red wine or vino verde or, the speciality of the region, vintage port, overlooking the beautiful Douro Valley remembering all the special times with the girls at school and university, our visits up to Snowdonia, and all the good times with wonderful family and friends. All my life I had flitted in and out of femininity, but was now content just living naturally and officially as Maria. Over the years I had been a lot luckier than most in having family and friends who were tolerant and understanding of my crossdressing, many suffered rejection by those close to them.

We constantly had visits from Gina, Bob and their children and grandchildren, from Kirsty and her long-term partner Jack, and from Kit, Jenny and their children, and from friends who had helped ease the way along my life’s path.

We were always delighted when the grandchildren visited and so pleased that Ronnie got on so well and played happily with his three sisters, including joining in with their playing-house and dressing-up games.

Could history be repeating itself and starting this story all over again?

The End

Chapter 2

As I entered the workroom there were a lot of giggles, and even a cheeky wolf-whistle, which Miss Carter let go on for a minute or so for the girls to get most of their joking out of their systems.

“ Right girls, before we start, as you have all noticed, we have a new class member today, Carla. I’m sure that you will all make her welcome. As you all know, from next week your uniform changes to the summer style of a half sleeve yellow and white gingham dress Some of you may still be able to fit into last year’s, but your project for the rest of the week is to make yourselves a new one. Split into pairs to help each other and collect the material and patterns from the back of the room“

I was in a state of shock, iI had no idea how to sew or use a machine, never mind work out how to make a dress and I didn’t even know if I wanted to find out.

“ Carla, as you are new to this, I have paired you with Zoe, she was rated the highest in this class last year and should be able to help you a lot.”

“ Hi Zoe, sorry that you have been lumbered with me. I am sure that you know all about me, the jungle telegraph in this school is amazing, and apart from that I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to be doing, or why I am having to take this class. I’m sure that they are just trying to shame me into quitting.”

“ Carla, as long as you are in this class, you are just another one of the girls, If you are taking this seriously and intend to see it through I’m happy to work alongside you, but if you are not committed and are going to treat it as a joke, I am going to go and talk to Miss Carter now. I would rather work alone than with somebody who is going to mess up my grades.”

“ Sorry Zoe, I am a little confused and annoyed at the actions of the school.There is no need to talk to Miss Carter. I promise that I will try my best, after all I will be graded on this too. I have absolutely no idea where to start though.”

“We all had to learn sometime, just work with me and follow what I do and we will get through this together. First thing isle need to measure each other, I’ll do you first, watch what I am doing because you will have to measure me afterwards, and you need to get it all right or my dress could turn out badly and I will not get the top marks again.”

We soon had each other measured up, which was a lot more extensive than the chest, waist and inside leg that I was used to, and collected our material and cutout patterns. Marking out the material from the patterns was not as easy as I expected, The fabric pattern on the front and back had to match at the seams, and where the sleeves joined the main body parts. Zoe quickly cut out her sections and then helped me with mine. I was glad of her help, I would have made a proper mess of it on my own.

That was all we managed to get done in that session, some of the other girls had started to sew theirs together, but I was really slowing Zoe down. As we were packing up and getting ready to go to our next class Miss Carter called us to stay.

“Because Carla is new to this, you two are a bit behind the others. I will be in here for a couple of hours after school finishes, you can come in and use the machines then if you want to catch up with everybody.”

I looked at Zoe, who nodded and smiled “ That’s very kind, I would love to, is that ok with you Carla?”

“ I think i need as much time as I can have, and we need to work together as a team. See you later Miss Carter.”

“ What’s your next class Carla, mine is science, which is not my favourite.”

‘I’m off there too, I quite like science, particularly physics, it is one of my better subjects. Let’s go and get there before they start without us.”

“ Glad you could join us Miss Marshall and, er, Miss Duggan, sit down and we will begin the lesson.” Miss Thomas stressed the title ‘Miss’ and glared at me as we made our way to spare desks.

The rest of the afternoon went off without anything being much different to normal and after classes Zoe and I made our way to the craft room to work on our dresses.

“ Have you used a sewing machine before Carla, they can be quite tricky, Let me show you how to work the machine, set the stitch style and tension, feed the material through, and then we can use some of the offcuts for you to practice with, we don’t want to mess up the material for your finished dress.”

While I was getting to grips with my machine and how to feed the material pieces through it, Zoe was working very quickly on tacking her main sections together and soon had hers done. By now I had mastered the basics but was still a bit unsure about starting on my dress. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it properly and prove to Zoe that I was taking it seriously, she at least deserved that for the help she was giving me

“ Don’t worry too much, this is just the first stage, getting the basic shape, we will be adjusting it all later so any mistakes can be easily corrected. your test pieces seem ok, so get started on putting yours together and I will watch and give you instructions as we go along.”

By the time Miss Carter was ready to leave my dress was all tacked together, ready for us to try a fitting the next time and pin everything more snugly to follow our body shape, before doing the final seam stitching. As our houses were on her way back to her flat, she gave Zoe and I lifts home and I jumped out of the car, thanked both of them for their help and walked inside to find Mum waiting for me.

“ What on earth have you done to yourself. Cassie told me about what happened at school, I was convinced that she was exaggerating, but for once she was being totally honest. Have you had a good look at yourself?”

“ Yes, and I think I am looking good, Cassie did a good job on me.”

“ How long do you intend to keep this up then, to prove your point to the school.”

“ As long as it takes Mum, I am determined to get the rules changed.”

“ If that is the way you want to play it, fair enough, but don’t think that you are going to pretend to be a girl at school and then come home to be Carl again. If you are doing this it has to be 24/7. Go and hang up your uniform for tomorrow. Cassie please dig out a few your old skirts, tops, and shoes for Carla to wear around the house.”

Cassie was up like a shot, she had obviously planned this with Mum while I was still at school.

“ Do I have to Mum, it is only the school that I am having a go at. I was hoping to go down to the park to meet a few of the lads.” i pleaded in my best whiny voice.

“ I told you, you are either going to dress as girl all the time, or as a boy all the time, you are not jumping back and forward as the mood takes you.”

“ If that is what you want, but you will get fed up of it long before I will. You and the school are not going to make me back down.”

“ Come on then Carla, let’s go up to my room and see what I can find for you.” Cassie dragged me away before Mum and I had a big row.

Cassie rummaged through her wardrobe and drawers throwing an assortment of her old stuff on the bed.

“ I don’t want any of that anymore, take it all to your room, we’ll see what fits you and suits you, the rest can go in the bag for the charity shop or in the bin.”

We quickly decided to keep most of the stuff, including a few bras that she had outgrown, and just to wind Mum up even more I put on a tight denim mini-skirt, a skimpy crop top and 2” wedge strappy sandals before going down to show her what I was wearing.

“ My God are you doing this deliberately to annoy me, I remember when Cassie wore that outfit, I thought I had seen the last of stuff like that.”

“ Now you have seen me, I am going up to my room to do my homework.”

“Before you do that, do you mind telling me why you were so late getting home.”

“ I stayed behind with one of the girls, Zoe, to catch up on my craft assignment making my uniform summer dress for next week.”

“ Making your summer dress? This gets worse and worse, get out of my sight before I start screaming at you.”

I escaped up to my room while I still had the chance and quickly finished my homework. I was just about to risk going downstairs again when my phone buzzed at me.

“ Hi Carla, it’s Zoe, are you busy?”

“ No Ive just finished my homework and was about to put the tv on.”

“ That’s handy, do you fancy coming round to mine to help me with the science stuff, I didn’t really understand it in class, and you seemed to be following it ok?”

“I will be glad to help, I owe you for staying late to let me catch up with making my dress. Let me grab my things and I should be at yours in about ten minutes.:

“Mum, I am going round to Zoe’s to help her with her homework, is that ok?”

“ Are you going dressed like that? Won’t you be embarrassed letting her see you in those clothes?”

‘ No I’m fine, after all you said I have to dress like a girl all the time, I am just doing as I have been told.”

“ Don’t be so cheeky! Don’t stay too late, I want you back here by 7 o’clock”

“ Why, I always am allowed out until 8?”

“Different rules apply to girls, you have to be more careful about being out late now. Cassie always had a 7 o’clock deadline and so will you.”

I decided that I wasn’t going to win this argument, so grabbed my shoulder bag, rushed out of the door and made my way to Zoe’s, where I was met at the door by her Mum.

“ Hello Mrs Marshall , I’m Carla Duggan, Zoe asked me to come round to help her with her science homework.”

“ Yes, she told me, she’s up in her bedroom, just go on up, she normally leaves the door open.”

“ Hi Zoe, I guess that you haven’t told your mum about me really being a boy.”

“ Of course not, if she knew you are really a boy, there is no way she would leave me alone with you in my bedroom. Anyway, I have sort of put all that to the back of my mind after working with you on making your dress, it is not exactly stuff that makes me think of you as a boy, is it?”

“Let’s get your homework sorted first, I will try and explain things for you so that you understand it all, we can chat afterwards.”

I went through the science work with her, explaining again what we had been told in class and helping her to complete the work.

“ That was all so easy after you simplified things for me, I don’t know why I didn’t follow it all in class, i just think that Miss Thomas is not very good at putting things across. Thank you so much, i really appreciate that you have come over. I won’t worry now that I have got you to help me when I need it.”

“ Hey, we are a team now, it’a bit like me with the dressmaking, you just need someone to explain it in a way you can follow.”

“ Now that is done, give me the full story of how you have ended up as Carla, it is the talk of the school. If we are going to be seen to be friends, people will ask me about you, and I don’t want to tell them anything that you think is wrong.“

I went through the whole story with her, from the first chat with the boys at the field, Cassie having fun dressing me up, and the reaction from the school and my Mum just making me more determined to get the rules changed.”

“ So how long is this going on for?”

“ At least until the end of the month, maybe longer if they decide to leave the dress code as it is.”

“ Don’t you feel a bit weird though, after all, it is not normal. I like your outfit by the way, my mum doesn’t like me wearing skirts that short, where did you get your clothes from?”

“ They are all Cassie’s cast-offs, that she has outgrown, the only things new are the knickers, Cassie insisted that I had to get my own, she wasn’t keen on sharing those with me. In the end they are just clothes, they do not change me as a person, although when things had calmed down after the initial reaction I settled in quite well, especially with you and the rest of the girls in the needlework class.”

“ I can’t remember what other classes we share, what are you due to do tomorrow.?”

“ First thing it should be Gym, but I don’t know how the school will deal with that, they have already changed my craft class to needlework and have put me into the home economics group too, they are definitely trying to embarrass me into backing down.”

“ I have gym too, if they put you in with us, we should be playing netball. It would be fun if you joined us as there are not too many of the girls interested, most prefer aerobics or modern dance.”

“ That probably won’t happen, for one thing I don’t have any girl’s sports gear, and I am sure that they won’t allow me to use the girls’ changing rooms, I can hardly go in with the boys dressed like this either, can I?”

“ You can borrow some of my stuff if you want, I have a few sets. I’ll get some for you now, take off your skirt and top and you can try them on.”

I was quickly stripped down to my bra and knickers, waiting for her to give me some gym clothes. “Does it not bother you seeing me like this in just my underwear?”

“ Don’t be silly, girls swap clothes and change in front of each other all the time, and at the moment what I see is ‘girl’, Here, put on the netball skirt first to see how it looks and fits. That’s fine. I am not sure about your top though, I normally wear a sports bra to hold things in place a bit more firmly, if you know what I mean, but I don’t know how that will work with your enhancers. take off the bra you have on and try one of mine with my sports vest. Now run around a bit and jump up and down a few times.”

“That seemed to hold everything in place ok, are you sure that you don’t mind lending me your stuff?”

“ It’s not my stuff anymore, it’s yours, just make sure that you bring it all with you tomorrow.”

“ One other thing, although we are not officially allowed makeup, most of the girls in my class use a little mascara and pale lipstick, mainly when they are going home after school. have you noticed.”

“ Not really, but now you have mentioned it i can see you have some on now.”

“ Right. At the end of the day the washrooms get quite busy with girls getting themselves ready in case the meet anyone they fancy on the way home. Do you want me to use some on you now, so that you can see what it is like.”

Ok let me get changed back into my street clothes again and get the sports gear packed in a bag, have you got one I could borrow? Then you have have a quick go at me, before I go home. I really must be leaving soon, mum has me on an early curfew. It’s not fair, as Carl I could stay here another hour.”

“ That’s as may be, but as Carl you would not be allowed up here at all, there are some advantages to being Carla, just get used to the differences.”

After she applied a light coat of mascara, which put me in fear of losing an eye, and a very pale, almost clear lipstick, I had a look in the mirror, and was surprised at the difference they made and thought that I looked even more like the other girls in my classes.

“ Bye Zoe, I’ve enjoyed being here with you tonight, maybe we can do our homework together more often, we can help each other out. I’ll just let your mum know I’m going and then I will have to hurry home.”

“Ok, see you tomorrow, and don’t forget to take your mascara, lipstick and the sports clothes with you.”

I arrived home in the nick of time, another couple of minutes and I would have missed my curfew.

“Do you want anything to eat Carla or did you have something at Zoe’s?” Mum asked, she had obviously calmed down since earlier.

“ To be honest we were quite busy and forgot. Any chance of a quick snack, maybe a burger?”

“ Don’t be silly you have to cut down now and look after your figure. I’ll do you scrambled egg on toast while you go upstairs and get changed into your nightclothes.

When I went into my room, Cassie was sitting waiting for me, with a big self-satisfied smile.

“While you were out Mum had me help her pack all your boy clothes and put them up in the loft. I have put the stuff away that I gave you earlier, the dresses, skirts and trousers are hung in the wardrobe, the tops, jumpers and underwear are in the drawers, but you really need to get more underwear of your own, particularly a few bras and packs of tights. You might want to get some decent panties too, school knickers aren’t really ideal for wearing when you are socialising.”

“ You are really enjoying this aren’t you, I can’t make my mind up whether you are being helpful or having a good laugh at my expense.”

“Honestly, i wouldn’t deliberately do anything to upset you, I’m just enjoying having a younger sister that I can pass on a lot of helpful tips to. That reminds me, you better clean off that mascara and lippy before mum notices, I will give you a pack of cleansing wipes, but I expect you to get your own and replace mine tomorrow. Get your clothes hung up there is a nightie on the bed for you for tonight, put it on before you go downstairs again, and leave on your bra and the enhancers, it will help the nightie sit better.”

If they were all trying to embarrass me into dropping my campaign it wasn’t working, it all just made me more determined, but I decided not to get into an argument with her, I needed her on my side.

I changed and went down for my toast and egg, Mum said nothing about me wearing the nightie but gave me a quick look over and smiled.”

“ It’ just as well that your dad is away on business for a few days, he was never comfortable with Cassie walking around in her nightie, what he would make of you I have no idea.”

I thought that if she is winding me up I would play her at her own game, and when I had finished my toast I walked over gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, something I had not done for a few years. “ Goodnight Mummy, I’m off to my room now.”

To be continued.

Chapter 3

I was still half asleep in the early morning as I made my way to the bathroom, but remembering just in time that I would now be expected to sit when doing my business, I hitched up my nightie sat, and relieved myself. I gave my hair a quick brush to smooth out the overnight knots but realised that I would need Cassie’s help with her magic hair wand to give it the body and style that she had done yesterday. I put on a clean pair of knickers and bra, inserted my enhancers and dressed in my blouse and skirt and went down the stairs to get some breakfast, passing the time until I heard Cassie up and about.

“ Morning Carla, did you sleep well?” Mum was being matter-of-fact about the way I was dressed, as if it was just a normal day. “I didn’t think that you would want a full breakfast this morning, so I have just put out a banana and yoghurt for you, like Cassie has.”

I was actually desperate for my normal cooked breakfast but did not want to give her the satisfaction of asking for it. “That will be fine Mum.”

I quickly finished it and went back upstairs to Cassie’s room, knocked, and went in, only to find her sitting in her underwear, brushing her hair. Normally I would be met with screams of “ Get out, you can’t come in while I am not dressed.” but this time she just smiled and waved me in.

“Hi Carla, come on in, what can I do for you?”

“Have you got time to do my hair like yesterday, I gave it a good brush, but couldn’t get any body to it like you managed to give it?”

“ We will have to be quick I am running a bit late. Watch what I do, you will have to do it yourself from now on, I can’t do it for you every morning. She used the styling wand to give it a bit more body on the top and crown and to curl it under around my ears, brushed and patted it into place and gave a quick spray to hold it. It had only taken a few minutes but made a massive difference in my appearance. i went back to my room, put on the clear lip gloss, packed my bag and was ready to face another day at school.

As we got to the school gates, Cassie saw some friends and went off with them., I saw Sam coming up the road and waited for him, but he gave me a ’keep away’ look and snapped at me ”Why not wait for some of the other girls, since you seem to want to be one of them. Just leave me alone, I am already getting some stick for having been your friend before, if I am seen with you now, it will get even worse.” and hurried past me. We had been friends for many years and it hurt that he no longer wanted to know me just because I was wearing a skirt.

As he hurried away Amy and Lucy, a couple of girls in most of my classes had overheard what he had said and came over to me.

“Just ignore him, he is an idiot, he didn’t deserve you as a friend all that time. Come on and walk in with Lucy and me , we don’t mind, we think what you are doing is very brave, and so do a lot of the other girls.” Amy said as they walked either side of me, holding my hands to reassure me.

“So Carla, are you keeping up with this then?” Lucy asked.

“ Yes of course, at least until they change the rules , so a few weeks yet.”

“ Don’t let the fact that your friend Sam just blanked you, get to you, if that is the way the boys are treating you feel free to join me, Amy, and our friends at lunch time, you will be more than welcome. To be honest, the way you look you will fit in better with us than with the boys, and you might enjoy the company.”

“ Thanks Lucy, I’ll see you then.”

What classes do you have today Carla?”

“ I don’t really know what the school are going to throw at me today. First period is scheduled as Gym. They say that they will be treating me as a girl, but whether that includes gym remains to be seen, they are trying to embarrass me and make me feel ashamed.”

After registration in my homeroom, feeling very nervous, I picked up my gym gear, I had brought both boys’ and girls’ stuff just in case, and made my way to the changing rooms. There was no teacher about to ask what I was supposed to do and was just standing there when Lucy grabbed me and pulled me into the girls’ changing room.

“ It’s ok, i have had a word with the others, they are quite happy for you to get dressed in here and play netball with us, as long as you promise not to look at anyone when they are changing. We can’t let you go into the boys’ changing room looking like that, at best you will get assaulted, at worst you could even get raped, and we wouldn’t want that to happen.”

I sort of hid myself in a corner while I changed into my netball kit as discreetly as I could, including changing into the sports bra that Zoë had given me and refitting my enhancers, but I was sure that the girls were watching me out of the corners of their eyes. I went out with the others to make our way out to the netball court, when I was called back.

“ Duggan come here, what do you think you are doing?” growled the football coach who was on his way out with the boys.

“ I don’t know what you mean Sir, I was told by the headmistress that I had to attend all classes as a girl, and to make her point she had me transferred into needlework and cookery classes, so I assumed that would apply to gym classes too and that I would have to join in with the girls.”

“ Don’t you be so cocky with me, or you won’t know what hit you.”

Before he could say any more, we were interrupted by Miss Carter, who as well as teaching craftwork, when she could she acted as a netball coach too. I had been told that when she was younger she was very good, played for the county, and even had trials for England.

“ I think that is enough, don’t you, threatening a pupil like that? Carla, go and join the others while we have words here. Tell them to pick their teams and I will be over to start you off in a few minutes.

Zoë had been right there was only just enough of us to get two teams and as players were selected, I was the last one chosen.

“ Don’t worry about it, it is not a judgement on you personally, it is just that you have never played before and don’t know the rules.”

“ I’m used to it, I was usually the last one picked at football and rugby too with the boys, I was always too small and light and easily brushed aside by the others.”

You are Goalkeeper for the moment and your main job is to jump to block the Goal Shooter of the other team getting a clear shot at the net. You have to stay in the shooting circle or your first third of the court, you cannot go further forward to our attack areas and if you have the ball you are not allowed to walk with it. Just watch how we play and you will soon pick it up.”

In the first quarter I was more of a hindrance than a help, I was penalised several times by Miss carter for being too close to my opponents or taking too many steps with the ball, although I did make a few blocks and good passes, and at the end of the first quarter we were well behind.

In the short break, the girls were very supportive, if I had been that bad in matches with the boys I would have been getting shouted at and called all sorts of names. Instead the team gave me tips on how to improve my game and let me change position to Wing Attack so that I could be more involved.

I enjoyed this much more , being much more active, passing the ball around and was soon comfortable that I was making the right moves. Thanks partly to a couple of my assist passes we were soon level. the game went back and fro, and at the end we just won by one goal. It was only a school games session, but from the celebrations at the end it was as if we had won a major competition. There was a team hug and cheer, before we went back to get showered and changed. I was really worried about showering with the girls and was about to not bother and just get dressed, but the showers were individual closed cubicles, so I was able to clean myself up and dry off without any problems before going back into the changing area.

When we were dressed again, I walked with the girls for a quick soft drink in the canteen before our next classes. We sat chatting about the game and about life in general, and they just treated me as one of them, pulling me into their conversations, even about which boys they fancied, they seemed to have totally forgot who I really was, or chose to ignore it so as not to make me feel uncomfortable.

“ Carla, a few of us are going to hang out for a while down at the mall after school, do you want to join us.”

I gave a quick look to Zoë who nodded back at me before answering. “I’d love to Lucy, thank you for asking me. Are we just going as we are or are we going home first to get changed?”

“ Today will just go as we are, in uniform, but on Saturday when we go again, we will put our own clothes on.”

“ Spoken just like a girl, ‘what should I wear?’ you are definitely coming over to the fair side.” whispered Zoë in my ear.

After afternoon classes we all made our way to the local mall, sat and had a coffee, people watching, well really boy-watching for the others.

“ You know what i have just noticed,” said Emma to the group,” Carla is the only one of us not wearing ear studs. I think we should take her to get pierced and fitted, what do you all think?”

I wasn’t too sure about this, I though that it might be the last straw for Mum, but they all talked me into it and I soon had a pair of small pearl studs, with my hair pushed behind my ears to show them off.

“ Are you coming back to mine to do our homework together again Carla,” asked Zoë, with big pleading eyes, “ you really helped me last night and my grades today were the best I have had for ages. Mum won’t mind and I can get us some tea and cakes.”

“ Sounds good to me, as long as you help me with my French Grammar paper, I have never really got to grips with the rules on conjugation.”

“ Before you go, we are having a sleepover at Lucy’s on Saturday, do you want to come?” Amy asked us both.

Before I had a chance to think about it Zoë, replied “ Of course , thanks for asking, we would love to.”

“ Hi Mum, I’m home. Carla is with me, we are going up to study together, can we raid the cupboard for some cake and biscuits?”

“ Of course, help yourselves. You are looking much smarter today in your uniform Carla, much better than that ridiculously short skirt you wore yesterday.”

“ Don’t mind her, she is always going on at me that my skirts are too short, it is what Mums do.” Zoë told me as we walked up to her room

While we are having our tea, tell me what you thought about the netball match today.”

“ I really enjoyed it. it was a lot more energetic and tiring than I thought it would be. I have never really enjoyed playing football or rugby, I have never been particularly good at them and tend to get battered and clattered a bit, being smaller than most of the others. I fitted in better with the girls, where I was taller than most except the Shooters, and with no contact allowed it was much more fun. Were the girls all comfortable with me playing? If it is ok with them, I will like to do it again next week, maybe by then I might understand the rules a bit better.”

“ Yes, they were all quite happy for you to join and nobody objected about you being in the changing room either. they just sort of looked on you as one of us.”

“ I was glad that Amy and Lucy invited us to sit with them at lunchtime, none of the boys seem to want to speak to me or be seen with me now, whereas the girls don’t seem so worked up about me.”

“ That’s their loss Carla, if that is how they want to be, just ignore them, you have plenty of friends amongst the girls anyway. The boys will soon come round when they realise that if they are nasty to you they will have no chance with any of us.”

“ Tell me about this sleepover, what will be happening and will I be ok there.”

“ Don’t worry, it will all be just girly stuff, gossiping, doing each others hair, playing with make up and things like that, you should enjoy it, and they are all a friendly bunch. You will be ok, if they didn’t like you or think you would fit in you wouldn’t have got an invite.”

“Right, let’s get our work done now, that’s why we are here.” It was good to work together, we both had strong points and weak points in the different subjects and were able to clear up a lot of the problems we had been having. and we soon had it all finished.”

“ I better be off now, I have things to do at home, I’ll see you tomorrow and we can try to get our dresses finished.”

“ Don’t go yet. To save time tomorrow I picked up our dresses from the craft room. we can put them on and pin them up , so tomorrow it will just be a matter of running them through the machines.

Zoë turned the dresses inside out so the seams were on the outside, and changed into hers telling me to do the same, she didn’t seem to mind stripping out of her uniform in front of me so I just dropped my skirt, pulled off my blouse and followed her lead.

“ They seem a bit baggy, are you sure that we measured up correctly?”

“ I told you Carla, that this is just the first stage to hold it all together. What we do now is pull it all tighter and pin it where we want the seams to follow the line of your figure so that it is a nice shape, not too tight but still fitted. I’ll do you first, tell you what I am doing and then you can do the same to me. As I am still growing up top I am going to leave a little spare material on the seams around the bust line so I can let it out when I develop a little bit more, but we don’t need to do that with yours as you will only be wearing it for a few weeks, and you won’t be growing any bigger anyway.”

When we were finished the dresses hung much better on both of us and when we turned them the right way round they looked perfect and all it would need the following day would be to run them through the machines, and do the hems of the skirt, sleeves and collar.

“ We should wizz through that tomorrow and then you can take it home to show your mum and Cassie.”

“ Zoë”, her Mum called out “ i need to go down to the supermarket , do you want to come with me and we can give Carla a lift home on the way.”

As we pulled up outside my house, Mum came down the drive to meet us.

“ Hello, I’m Sarah, pleased to meet you, Carla has been spending so much time with Zoë lately that I thought that it was about time we met, do you want to come in for a few minutes to get to know each other?”

To my relief Zoë’s Mum, Margaret, said she was in a bit of a rush to get some shopping but that she would be glad to get together another time.

“If you want, Zoë can stay here and I can have a chat with her, and you can pick her up on the way back, is that ok?”

“Actually that will save time, she always dawdles around the shops, I will see you in about a half-hour.”

Mum sat us down in the kitchen and I was dreading how she was going to take the conversation, but she just stayed calm and cool.

‘ Carla has been telling me about you doing homework together and how you have been helping her with her summer dress, you seem to be becoming good friends.”

“ Yea, she is a lot of fun and a big help. We have been working on the dresses this afternoon after school, pinning them to shape. we should get them sewn up and finished tomorrow and she can bring hers home to show you.”

“ I look forward to it, this is the first dress she has made for herself, so I hope it comes out ok. If it is good, I can dig out my old machine and she can make some summer stuff for Cassie and me. How is school going for you?”

“ Actually it is a lot better now I am working together with Carla, we help each other out. We had a good time today with the girls, playing netball, she did alright for her first time .”

It was freaking me out a bit, them both referring to me as ‘she’ and ‘her’ and talking about me as if it was normal, when they both know that I was really a boy.

“ Oh, I suppose that means Carla that your games kit will need washing, we’ll put it in the machine later with anything else of yours that needs done.”

I was glad when Mrs Marshall came back to pick up Zoë, Mum had been skirting around the subject a lot and I was frightened that she was going to say something to Zoë that would embarrass us all.

“ That wasn’t so bad was it Carla, she seems a nice girl, you and her have a lot in common. Tell me more about this netball game, where did you get your kit from?”

“ Zoë gave me some spare stuff of hers, which fitted me quite well. When we had got changed, I did not look much different from the other girls and they all thought that I blended in well with them.”

“ Did you change in the same room with them?’

“ i could hardly go in with the boys could I, do you want me to get attacked?”

“ Of course not, it was probably a sensible thing to do, as long as the other girls did not mind.”

“ Mum, you and the Head both told me that If I was going to continue with this that I was to act as and be treated as a girl, I am trying to fit in as best as I can.”

“Ok dear, go and get changed out of your uniform and then come and help me in the kitchen.”

“ Do I have to, I was just going to have a bit of time playing video games.”

“ Video games are for boys, girls help their mothers, you know I expect Cassie to keep the house tidy and help me in the kitchen, I expect you to now do the same. When you come down bring your sports kit and other dirty washing with you to put in the machine.

To be continued.

Chapter 4

It was a warm night, so I changed into a loose summer skirt and light sun top that Cassie had given me, and went down to the kitchen with my clothes that needed washing. “Don’t just throw you dirty stuff in the laundry basket anymore, you will have to look after your own stuff from now on.” Mum quickly told me.

“ What do you want me to do Mum, does it need sorted?”

“ Normally you would need to separate the coloured and whites and delicates from the general wash, but none of that looks too dirty so just put it all in together, it should be ok, Set the dials at ‘daily wash ’ 40oC cycle, put a cup of powder in the little drawer and turn it on.

“ Anything I can do to help you with preparing dinner, Mum?”

“ It makes a change that you have thought to ask, thank you. I’m just making a chicken lasagne for tonight, that can be eaten cold with a salad if we sit outside. If you really want to help, chop up finely a couple of peppers and carrots and a large onion and I will sort out the mince and sauce.. You don’t want to get your clean skirt dirty, there is an apron on the back of the larder door, put that on first.

As we were working, Mum and I chatted away and I learned a lot about what she had got up to when she was younger. Everyone thinks of their Mum as a bit staid and boring, but she surprised me by telling me stories about her times working as a holiday rep in Torremolinos and Benidorm in Spain for a couple of years, and the wild partying times she had before she met Dad and had Cassie and me. I realised what she had given up for the family and gave her a hug as I thanked her for telling me. I think that it was the first time she had ever told me anything about herself and her life, normally all our conversations seemed to be about school or family business, and I promised myself that I would find out more in future chats.

“ Your father should be here soon, you may want to go up to your room for a bit and keep out of the way. I have told him over the phone what you have been doing dressing in girls’ clothes, and he is not wonderfully happy about it. It will be better if you let me have a talk with him before he sees you.”

Listening from up in my bedroom, I heard Dad come in and a lot of loud conversation between him and Mum before she came up to get me and lead me downstairs.

“ What on earth do you think you are doing Carl?” Dad growled at me as he caught sight of me for the first time dressed in girls’ clothes.

“ I am trying to get the school to change its dress code, I wore a skirt as a protest and it all just snowballed. The school insisted that if I wanted to look like a girl, I needed to do it properly and Mum had the same idea, both of them trying to embarrass me into giving up. I am dressing full-time as a girl and going to classes with the girls at school. By the way, everybody is calling me Carla now.”

“ Well I think that it is ridiculous, I actually agree with the reason for your protest and can even accept your idea of wearing a skirt to make your point, but this has gone much too far. I will be going to the school on Monday to get this all sorted out.”

“Please Dad, don’t do that, I am determined to stick this out until the school changes the dress code, and if you go up there causing trouble they will just dig their heels in and refuse to listen.”

“ Well, I do not like this, but your Mum has convinced me, against my better judgement, that you are happy and comfortable living as a girl for the moment. I am outvoted, and that is even before I ask Cassie what she thinks, I am sure she really enjoys seeing you like this.”

When the weather allowed we enjoyed sitting out at the garden table to eat. Usually when we all got home, Cassie and I went to our rooms and watched TV or played computer games, or in Cassie’s case spending half the time chatting on her phone or computer with friends. It was normally nice to relax and talk as a family while we were eating and have a pleasant evening sitting in the sunshine, but this time Dad was not his usual cheery self and just sat quietly deep in thought.

As we went back inside as it was getting cooler, Mum took one look at us and groaned.

“Cassie I keep telling you about using sun cream when you are wearing those skimpy tops, you are all red and your skin is hot, You are not much better Carla, you will really have to take more care of yourself now. There is some after-sun lotion in the cupboard, go upstairs and get changed for bed and rub each other with the cream, it will stop you burning up.”

As Cassie was applying the cream on my back she started giggling.

“ What’s up Sis, what is amusing you.”

“When all the redness dies down, you are going to be left with strong tan lines from your bra straps and the across your back from the edge of the sun top. The girls will love that when you are next in the changing rooms.”

Where have you been anyway, It might have been nice if you had been there to support me?”

“How did it go with Dad? I deliberately kept out of the way, I didn’t think it would help if I chipped in with my two pennyworth.”

“ Not as bad as I expected, he is not happy, but Mum convinced him to let me continue.”

The next morning at school went in a blur, nobody was bothering me or calling me names, and the other pupils, particularly the girls, just treated me as another one of the girls in their class.

After lunch in the needlecraft workroom, Zoë and I quickly finished off our dresses, made some slight adjustments and added trims on the sleeve cuffs, skirt hem, and collar, and attached loops for a tie belt. We trimmed off the excess from the seams and were ready to try them on.

“ After being behind, the first day, you two have caught up and finished first. Well done, aren’t you going to try them on?” Miss Rogers asked us.

I was wondering where to go to change when Zoë took off her blouse, dropped the dress over her head, dropped her skirt and and smoothed the dress down.

“ Come on Carla, don’t be shy, the others will be too busy finishing theirs off to look at you, and besides a lot of them have seen you in the changing rooms already, let’s see what you look like in yours.” After a look around to see that most of the girls were busy at their machines I just followed what Zoë had done.

“ I see you used your imagination a bit Zoë, the dresses are a bit more close-fitting than the ones most of the girls get from the shops and the trims you have added individualise them a bit. You have bent the rules but you will get no complaints from me.”

Soon everyone was finished and Miss Rogers walked around inspecting them all.

“ Well done girls, every one one of you. I know that these summer dresses are not the most popular style, and you would all rather be wearing something a bit trendier, but those are the rules and you all actually look very good in them. Although you are not supposed to wear them until next Monday, if you wish, you can keep them on for your last class of the day.”

When we walked into our next class there was a lot of murmuring and pointing from the girls and after it was over, some of them came and asked us if we could adjust the ones their mothers had bought for them as the way we had done ours was much more stylish. we offered to do the first three that asked us, but referred the rest to Miss Rogers’ needlework lessons.

Back at home I walked into the kitchen to show Mum my dress and she just stared at me for a few moments, without making any comment., before she came over to me.

“ You have done a really good job of that Carla, it fits you just enough to tell everybody that you are now to be considered as a girl. let me have a good look at it. She felt around the hem and sleeves, turning them back to inspect the stitching. “Thats’s a nice soft material and you have sewn it really well, you must be proud of what you have done.”

“ When Miss Carter first told me what I had to do I was really scared and embarrassed and nearly walked out, but Zoë was a massive help, she really knows what she is doing and corrected any mistakes I was making. It is more down to her than me that it turned out so well.”

“ You don’t want to ruin it, so go upstairs and get changed. You need to keep it nice and clean for when you wear it for school on Monday. ”

I was in my room in the middle of changing and standing in just my bra and knickers, when the door flew open and Cassie burst in without knocking first and being invited.

“ The girls at school were going on about you parading around in the new dress you have made and how good you looked. Let me see it.”

“ I’ve just taken it off and hung it up.”

“ Well, just take it back out and put it on again.“ she snapped back in her ‘don’t mess me about’ voice, and I did as I was told.

“ Hey, that looks great. I have never really liked that summer dress, I have always thought it a bit little-girlish, but it looks a lot better the way you have done it. You will definitely have to alter mine before Monday, I can’t have my kid sister being more stylish than me, can I.”

“ I’ll make a deal with you. I am going to Zoë’s tomorrow to alter some dresses for some of our classmates. I know that you hate needlework, but come and help us and we will tidy up your dress for you as you want it to look.”

“ It’s not how I would like to be spending my Saturday morning playing at seamstress with my kid sister and her friend, but it seems fair, it’s a deal, although I am not particularly looking forward to it.”

In the morning Cassie brought some stuff into my room and threw it on my bed.

“ I’m just going casual today. “ she said as she squeezed into really tight jeans and a skimpy top, Why don’t you do the same, I put some in your wardrobe for you the other day?”

“ I tried the jeans on, they are so tight and uncomfortable, I can’t believe that you actually like wearing them.”

“You have a lot to learn. As a girl you have to follow the styles and not stand out from everyone else, Everybody appears cool in them, it is expected.”

“ They are anything but cool, as in the proper sense of not warm. The whole reason I am doing this is because I wanted the option of wearing shorts and not having my legs all wrapped up during this hot weather. I am just going to wear my denim skirt, it is much more pleasant with the fresh breeze cooling my legs.”

“ Please yourself, I think you are beginning to like wearing skirts.”

Despite not originally being enthusiastic, round at Zoë’s Cassie soon settled down with us and seemed to enjoy acting as the model while we pinned her school dress to fit as she wanted it to look. When it was all finished she was delighted with how it fitted and looked, and kept it on while we made the alterations to the other ones for the girls at school. Because she was helping us by cutting, fetching and carrying, we managed to get them all done a lot quicker than we had expected and went to deliver them to the girls from class. Cassie decided to keep on the dress and come round with us rather than heading straight home.

“ Thanks, so much girls, I didn’t really want to do this today, but you have done a wonderful job on the dress, I won’t be embarrassed to wear it as I was last year. I have enjoyed myself with the pair of you today, it has been fun, let me know if you have anything planned, I might hang out with you again.”

“ We were planning to go down to the fair tomorrow, we haven’t been there this season yet, do you want to come with us, or will it not be cool being seen out with your kid sister?”

“ That sounds good actually, it should be fun, of course I will come with you.”

“ Hi girls,” Mum smiled at us as we arrived home and went into the kitchen, did you have a good day? It’s a change to see you wearing a dress Cassie, instead of your usual out-of-school denim jeans, Carla is a good influence on you. Is that your school dress from last year or have you been spending again?”

“ No need Mum , Carla and Zoë, mainly Zoë, did a super job on it don’t you think?”

“ Yes dear, I’ll definitely have to get Carla and you to make something for me now. You best keep that dress looking good for Monday, go and change, and it’s too hot for jeans, put on one of your light sundresses. “

I went up with Cassie to her room and sat on the bed while she looked through her wardrobe and, after pulling several out wrinkling her nose and putting them back, finally ended up with a spaghetti-strapped loose floral shift.

“You look a lot prettier in that than your usual ripped grunge jeans, you should dress like that more often, and I’ll tell you something, you will have the boys around you like bees at a honey pot.” Which brought a big smile from her.

“ There is another one for you here, you can try on if you want.”

“ I couldn’t wear something that skimpy on the top, I can’t take off my bra like you’ve done, and the straps would show.”

“ Hmm, you are right, we will have to do something about that. Don’t be so old fashioned though, most girls and women are not ashamed to show their bra straps any more, just put on the dress and we will go and sit in the garden with a drink.”

“ You girls are looking delightful,” Mum gushed as we went to go outside,” I have just got to take a photo of you together.”

We got our drinks and a chocolate bar, got a couple of chairs from the shed and chatted about what we were planning to do at the fair, until dinner was ready.

“ Cassie how many times do I have to tell you about using sun cream, and you too Carla, you have both caught the sun again and are bright red, get up to the bathroom, use the after-sun in the cabinet, if you have any left from last time, put some on each other to cool your skin down and stop your skin drying out and flaking.”

When we sat down at the table dad took one look at us and went quiet for a minute. “ What have you two done to my children, Instead of a son and a totally scruffy unkempt and unruly daughter I now seem to have two delightful young ladies.”, Mum burst into giggles and we both soon followed.

After dinner Dad suggested that as it was such a nice late spring evening that we should go for a walk around the lake in the nearby park, it was the first time since we were children that we had done anything like that when not away on holiday, and we all jumped at the chance of being a happy united family again, instead of us all doing our own things, Afterwards we stopped off at the beer garden of the nearby pub, lagers for Mum and Dad, and cola and orange juice for Cassie and me.

“ Hello Carla, it’s nice to see you out with your family.” I quickly looked to see Miss Carter with a rather tall attractive man beside her.

“Hello Miss Carter, it is a lovely evening isn’t it, we’ve just been for a walk together.”

“ We are not in school now, just call me Jane, and this is my partner Rob”

“ I apologise for my ignorant children Jane,” Dad butted in, “I’m Mike, this is Caroline and I assume that you know Carla and Cassie. Would you like to join us?”

“ I’d love to, but we are meeting friends over there waiting for us, maybe another time. I’m amazed at how well Carla has settled in with the girls, she is determined to make it work. You must be proud of her.”

“ Thank you for helping Carla with the summer uniform dress. She gave all the praise to Zoë, but I am sure that you had a big input too.” Mum replied.

“ Carla is a quick learner and is quite enthusiastic, Zoë kept her on the straight and narrow, but Carla did all the work herself.”

“ Am I the only one who does not totally accept that Carla in here for the immediate future, everyone else just seems to accept it without any qualms?” Dad said after Jane and Rob had left.

“ Just be quiet and enjoy your beer Mike.” Mum playfully snapped back at him.”

Sunday morning Cassie and I smothered ourselves in sun-screen moisturiser and I heard Cassie giggling as she did my back and shoulders.

“ What’s tickling you Cassie?”

With all that sitting in the sun yesterday, you have now got lovely tan lines, across your back and chest where the top of your dress sat and on your shoulders from the straps of the dress and bra. There will be no hiding those when you get changed for gym next week.”

Ignoring her I dressed for a day of fun at the fair, in a crimson tartan mini kilt and cerise sleeveless top and open-toed sandals, Cassie had decided on a low-cut strappy top and frayed hem Daisy Duke shorts.

“ Let’s hurry up and get out of the house before Mum sees you and makes you change.” I joked with her.

We picked up Zoë and got the bus down to the coast to the fair. It was not as big and brash as some of the theme parks, but we still had some scary rides on the rollercoasters and Pirate ship as well as the traditional Chair-o-planes, waltzer, and dodgems. We had a great time, getting really scared and having loud screams on the hairier rides, but always managed to calm down afterwards with ice cream, popcorn, toffee apples or candy floss. While Zoë and I got all our thrills from the rides and the treats, Cassie, being that bit older, was getting her thrills flirting outrageously with all the ride attendants and the boys following us around, well mostly following her Daisy Dukes if the truth be known.

Later after we had enjoyed, if that is the correct word, the thrills of the scarier rides we had a gentle walk along the promenade watching people in the penny arcades and bingo stalls, eating bags of chips, trying to keep them out of reach of the swooping seagulls, and just enjoying the freedom and the fresh air. We sat on the beach for a while, Zoë and I people watching, and Cassie boy-watching. She was getting to be a real flirt, I shuddered to think when what she would be like
in a couple of years time.

We took off our shoes and walked back along the waters edge, paddling in the rippling wavelets, being silly kicking the spray at each other, before saying goodbye to Zoë and making our way home.”

“ Just look at the pair of you, you look only half-dressed, particularly you Cassie. Your Dad is in the garden cleaning down the barbecue for later, go and get changed before he sees you, put on those nice dresses you wore yesterday.”

Giggling, we did as we were told and were down and out in the garden with Dad 10 minutes later.

“ Carla, are you going to help me out here with the barbecue, like you usually do, or do you want to help Mum and Cassie in the kitchen?”

‘ Just because I am wearing a dress doesn’t mean that I have forgotten how to cook chicken, sausages, burgers, and veggie kebabs, let me go get an apron and I will be right back.”

I left Cassie in with mum preparing the salad and side dishes, laid out the patio table, and sliced the burger buns and started watching the grill for Dad while he went to get cleaned up after laying out and lighting the charcoal.

Cassie brought out the crockery and the dressings and came over to me.

“ Hi, it was fun today with you two, I thought that it might be a bit boring with my kid sister and her friend, but you two are ok. Let me know if you have anything planned, I might join you again. Sometimes with my friends we are all trying to be grown-up or cool, and worry too much about what other people think, it’s nice to be a kid again occasionally. After all, I am still only fifteen, I have years ahead to be adult and sensible.”

“ You are welcome to join us anytime, and don’t forget you promised to help me make a dress for Mum.”

We enjoyed our barbecue, it was the first of the season for us. Usually, when we were in the house we all tended to do our own thing, Cassie and I going to our rooms to watch our favourite tv programmes, but after a barbecue we always spent time as a family, ‘bonding’ is the in phrase.

“ Mum , why don’t you set up the sewing machine and I will check that it is still working ok, and maybe tomorrow after school I can meet you at “ The Sewing Shack’, you can pick out some patterns and material and I can get started on your dress.” I saw Dad rolling his eyes at this, but he did not say anything, just gritted his teeth.

“ i’ll come with you too, I could do with a couple of skirts and we can make them up together.” added Cassie. Even if Dad was still a bit unsure of how I was now living, at least Cassie and I were becoming closer again, a lot of the ‘big sister/kid brother’ rivalry had now gone.

A bit later we had the machine set up and checked out, doing some test seams on an old blouse that Mum was going to throw out and it seemed to be working fine. It was not as flexible in stitching styles as the machines at school or the one Zoë had, but it was adequate for what we would need to do.

“ That’s all working fine Mum, we have now just got to decide what you want in style and something that won’t be too difficult to make and we can get started. I’ll see you at the shop at a quarter to four, you get there a bit earlier and pick out some patterns, and I will let you know which I can cope with.”

To be continued.

Chapter 5

Monday morning Cassie and I wore our summer dresses for school and I was quite proud of the work I had done, we both looked very stylish, at least as stylish as any school uniform could look, and we received a lot of compliments from our classmates, especially those whose dresses we had modified for them

At the end of lessons, Zoë called me over. “ Are you coming round this afternoon, i could do with a bit of help with my science homework again, I understand it much better when you explain it than when the teacher tells us in class.”

“ I’m meeting Mum down at The Sewing Shack first, but I can get her to drop me off at yours afterwards, if that’s ok.”

When Cassie and I got to the shop Mum had already picked out three of the styles she liked.a fitted sleeveless v-neck dress with a waterfall skirt, a plain shift with a boat neckline and capped sleeves, and a midi belted wrap-around,

“ What do you think Carla, could you manage any of those.”

“ I may need to simplify some of the edging, but I should be able to cope with any of them.”

“ Have you picked out your material yet Mum” Cassie chipped in. “ I think the waterfall dress in satin would look classic and refined in just a plain colour, white, or pale green to match your eyes. The shift would look good in some striking geometric pattern and for the wrap-around I would go for a floral print, those two in light cotton, or maybe seersucker for the wrap-around, what do you both think?”

“Don’t ask me, I might be good with the machining, but i will leave design choices to you two, you have a lot more experience in that than me. Have a look at the materials and then you can decide which to go for.”, I knew the limitations of my skills.

While Mum was making up her mind, Cassie picked out a pattern for a mid-thigh flared skirt with belt and tie cord. “What about this, it would suit both of us, different colours or patterns obviously, but they can be near enough to look like the same style. I love this one, please say yes.”

Mum couldn’t make up her mind between the waterfall and the shift and ended up buying the patterns and material for both.

“ Drop me of at Zoë’s on the way Mum, we are doing our homework together again, put all the stuff and the machine in bedroom 4, I will use that as a workroom.”

Zoë and I soon got through her homework, once I explained a few things to her it didn’t take her long. “Thanks again Carla, you’ve been a big help and a good friend, It will be a shame when all this is over and you go back to being a boy, skirts and dresses suit you.”

“ We’ll see what happens soon and whether the school rules change. If not you might have me around for longer.”

“ Do you want a lemonade or something we can sit in the garden for a while. but I want to get changed first and keep my school dress clean.”

“ Good idea, if I had known I was coming I could have brought a change with me too.”

“No problem, i am sure I can find something for you. Why don’t you bring a couple of your after-school outfits over and leave them here for next time?’

I was soon dressed in one of her denim mini-skirts and powder-blue sleeveless tops and we spent a while chatting about people and all that was going on at school.

“ Carla, I am going to the shops and will be passing your house, do you want a lift?” Zoë’s mum asked.

“ Oh, yes please, it will save a bit of a walk.”

When we got to the end of my road, she pulled the car over and stopped.

“ Carla I need to ask you a question and please be honest with me. Someone told me that there is a boy at your school that is dressing and presenting themselves as a girl, that they are a close friend of Zoë, and that they are spending a lot of time together. What do you know about it, I am worried for her?”

“ Do you really want to know, sometimes it is better to just let sleeping dogs lie?”

“ Are you not worried about her too? Come on, tell me, you know something.”

“ If you really want to know I will be honest with you. That boy you are talking about is actually me, I’m really Carl, not Carla. But you have nothing to worry about with me and Zoë. ”

“ Never, I don’t believe you, who are you covering for?”

“ Honestly it is true, come into the house and ask my Mum if you don’t believe me.”

“ Why are you doing this, do you want to be a girl?”

“ This is how it all started ……….” I told her the full story of everything that had happened since that first day and she just kept silent and looked at me in disbelief.

“ It’s only been a few weeks, and you are already so natural as a girl, not just how you are dressed, but how you behave and talk, it’s as if you have always been a girl. How do your family feel about it?”

“ Dad is not all that keen but Mum has told him to just put up with it, Mum was anti at first but has now got used to it and just accepts me, my sister Cassie really loves it, she likes having a kid sister.”

“ Mum, Mrs Marshall is here, she wants to have a talk with you, Because she was worried about rumours she was hearing about a friend of Zoë, I needed to tell her all about me, and what I am doing. I will go up to my room and leave you to talk in private.”

A bit later I heard Mrs Marshall drive away and went down to find out from mum what had been said.

“ I explained that we were fully supporting you in your campaign and that the school had insisted that if you chose to wear a skirt that you would have to fully present as a girl and would be treated as a girl, that it wasn’t something that you had a need to do. Despite you being at their house lots of times and just working together as two girls with Zoë, Mrs Marshall was concerned that it was not right for a thirteen-year-old boy and girl to be together alone in a bedroom.”

“ In a way, I understand, but we have never done anything wrong, honest, when I am there Zoë talks to me as if I was another girl, and as you have seen I am trying my best to behave like one.”

“She actually quite likes you and appreciates the help you are giving to Zoë. She said that you can keep going round there anytime you want, but the bedroom door must not be closed and she will be looking in on you at regular intervals, she has been quite understanding really. However, be careful, you may be accepted by the school and by Margaret, but not everybody will be so understanding and tolerant, and there are a lot of nasty people out there.”

“ Don’t worry Mum, none of the girls seem to mind when I am with them, and the boys are all keeping their distance, none of them want to be seen with me.”

“Margaret has got me thinking, neither of us is comfortable with you undressing in front of the girls, especially in the changing rooms and showers, and at the sleepover you are going to on Saturday. You could be accused of all sorts, flashing at them, even sexually assaulting them. I have an idea, you may not like it, but let me speak to someone first. Go upstairs, get changed and finish all your homework.”

I heard Mum having a long phone conversation and when I went back downstairs she had quite a serious look about her.

“ I’ve finished my homework, have you got time for me to take all your measurements, and if you tell me which you want first, I can make a start on your dress.”

“ Sit down, i need to have a serious talk with you first. As I said I am worried about you being accused of inappropriate behaviour with the girls. My friend Michelle is a nurse in A&E and she says that she can fix up your boys’ bits so that without a close inspection you can look like a girl down below. It will only be temporary until all this protest is over and can be easily reversed. It is not just for the benefit of you not embarrassing the girls, or stopping accusations about you, but it will mean that you do not have to worry about anyone seeing you either. What do you think?”

“ I am beginning to agree with Dad, this is going a lot further than I had intended. Can I have a talk with Michelle before deciding?”

“ Fine, she says if we go to see her, she can fix you up if you want to do it. Are you ok with that? Do you still want to get started on the dress or is your mind not on it now?”

“ No i am ok, it will be a bit of a distraction for me.”

“ Let’s get started and do the waterfall first in the mint satin. My birthday is coming up and it would be nice to get it finished for then.”

I soon had her measured up and the material sections marked out. Before I even started to do the cutting and tacking, I did a trial run on some small offcuts to set the thread tension right it was quite a delicate material and needed to be right to get a smooth finish. I didn’t want to rush it, as the more tired I was, the more likely I would be to make mistakes, so I packed it all away and went back downstairs.

“ Ok Mum, let’s go and find out a bit more about what Michelle will be doing. If I don’t like it, I will just say no.”

We were soon round with Mum’s friend Michelle, and she talked me through what she intended to do to hide my bits, and assured me that it would not hurt and that everything could go back to normal afterwards. As I had gym the next day, i thought that if I was going to do this, now was as good a time as any. After a lot of pushing and probing between my legs and glueing things together I was stood in front of a mirror looking at myself, and although I had not really seen any girls naked in the flesh, It looked to me just like I had seen in the photographs in the magazines the boys passed around. I now had a totally flat front groin curving back between my legs, there was no obvious sign of my boy bits.

“ Do you want me to complete the image? “ Michelle asked, bringing me out of my deep thoughts about how I now appeared. “ I have been to work and picked up some breast forms, false breasts, that I can fix to you, they will be a lot more convenient when you are changing than having to use the enhancers, and will look a lot more natural under your clothes.”

“ In for a penny, in for a pound, why not?” I thought. By the time we went back home, I looked, to all intents and purposes, just like the other girls.

On the way home, mum stopped off at Zoë’s, and I left her to chat to Zoe’s mum , while I went up to her room where I told her about what Michelle had done to me and why they had suggested it.

“ Let me have a look then, don’t be shy, you can’t tell me something like that and leave me wondering.”

Worried that our Mums might come upstairs, I quickly undressed to show her and put my clothes back on again.

“ Wow, that is amazing, you look just like the rest of us, you should have no problems in the changing room now, you can’t be accused of anything.”

The next day the netball session went off ok and nobody mentioned my body changes, if they noticed at all, because I did try to be careful and keep my back to them when putting on my sports kit. It felt strange running around with my new breasts bouncing and it distracted me from the game. Because my mind was elsewhere I played poorly, just when I thought that I was beginning to get the hang of the game.

After school and homework, for the rest the week Cassie and I worked on Mum’s dress, It was mainly me, but she helped with the cutting out and pinning while I tacked all the pieces together.

We called Mum up and got her to try it on while the two of us pinned it into a more fitted shape and changed it a bit as she suggested. It was soon finished and after I added a simple lining to help it hang better she tried on the finished dress, she gasped, and hugged us both.

“Thank you both so much it is beautiful and fits a treat. It is even better knowing that you two have made it. I’ll definitely wear it out for my birthday dinner with your dad”

“ You look gorgeous in it Mum, it really suits you. Get your hair done and a put on a bit of slap and he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.” Cassie answered with a cheeky smile.

“Thats’ enough of that, young lady, it’s just as well I am in a good mood with you.”

Saturday evening Mum drove me to collect Zoë and drop us off at Lucy’s for the sleepover. “Enjoy yourselves girls, call me in the morning and I will come and collect you.”

We were the first to arrive and Lucy took us into the garden room where we were to have the sleepover. “ My room is not big enough for everybody so this is where we will be tonight. There is food in the kitchen next door for later and we have the smart TV in here so can call up films or music channels, there are loads of cushions to sit around on, just make yourselves at home. Welcome to your first girly sleepover Carla, just relax and follow everyone else, you will soon get into the spirit of things.”

When Amy and the others arrived we all soon settled in, there was a constant stream of chatter and I struggled to follow the several conversations going on at once, but the others did not seem to have a problem with that, they were more used to it all than me.

Whilst we were all chatting we watched a couple of teen romcom films, stuffed our faces with sandwiches, biscuits and cakes, painted each others nails, played around with makeup and hairstyles, just like Zoë had described it for me. It was soon time to get ready for bed, although it was unlikely that we would being going to sleep early, there was still so much chatter going on.

We all took turns going into the en-suite loo to change into our nightwear. Cassie had talked me into taking a short light nightie with matching panties with me, rather than pyjamas, she said it would help me feel more girly. When I went back into the room, there were a lot of looks of amazement and surprise, most of the others were dressed either in pyjamas or plainer cotton shift nighties.”

“ Wow, when you do something you do it 110% don’t you Carla, we should all have dressed a bit fancier. I can’t have this, I am going to change into something sexier I’ve got loads of spare stuff if anyone else fancies a change.” Soon everyone else had borrowed one of Lucy’s nighties or sleep sets and it was all giggles and compliments for a while as we compared our styles and how we all looked.

“ Right girls, this is the bit that we all dread, it’s time for a bit of ‘truth or dare,’ are you all up for it?” Lucy grinned at us all, challenging anyone to say ‘no’.

We all sat in a circle and a bottle was spun picking out each of us in turn. It was all a lot of harmless fun, mainly ‘truths’ about boys they all fancied or the scariest things they had ever done, although there ere a couple of dares to do stupid things like imitating pop star’s dancing and singing while the music was called up on Spotify, but eventually it was my turn.

“ Truth or dare Carla?”

“Truth.”

“ Do you wish you were a girl?” Lucy was the first one to come up with a ‘truth’ question, and got a few dirty looks from the others for being so blunt.

“ That’s unfair, the rest of this has always been harmless fun, but that is a bit personal. Can’t you ask something else?”

“ Tell the truth Carla, or it will have to be a dare.” They all joined in until I had no real choice.

“ Ok, the truth is that at first it was all just a laugh, a protest, but things have just steamrollered, and I am quite settled and comfortable now as Carla. I don’t know whether I want to stay as a girl though, after all I have been a boy for 13 years, and a girl for just a few weeks. I am just enjoying myself with you all at the moment, and I do like being treated as a girl.”

“ What do you think girls, Carla never really answered the question, I think that there has to be a dare, do you all agree?”

There was a lot of murmuring then they all started chanting “dare, dare, dare ,dare!”

Zoë stood up and with a big grin looked at me “ I’ve got the perfect dare to settle all this, stand up Carla. Drop your panties and step out of them, now drop your nightie slowly down to the floor.”

“ No Zoë, this is not fair, I should never have told you.”

“ Dare, Dare, Dare, Dare !.” they all chanted again.

“ Ok you asked for this.” i said as I slowly dropping my nightie, revealing my body bit by bit.There was a sudden shocked silence in the room when they saw me with my artificial breasts and the female shape between my legs . I was just so embarrassed and ashamed, and felt like crying until Zoë came over and gave me a big hug. “They would find out sometime, this is as good a time as any. Put your clothes back on and we’ll get on with things.”

As I dressed the girls all started to clap and cheer, and one-by-one came over to give me a hug.

“ Sorry Carla,” said Lucy, “ I should not have pushed you into that, as I said before, you really go for 110% don’t you. Sit down and tell us all about it. When did you have the operation to lose your boy bits?”

“ Don’t be daft, I haven’t honestly, everything is just hidden away and glued up. Mum thought that to stop any complaints or suggestions of me interfering with any of you here or in the changing rooms, that it would be best if I was temporarily given no choice. A nurse friend of hers fixed me up and it will all last for a few weeks.”

“ Welcome to real girlhood Carla, you might look like us, and need to go for a wee like us, but count yourself lucky that you don’t have to suffer periods like the rest of us, that is the big downside to being a girl.” Lucy’s comment brought a mixture of giggles and groans from the rest of the girls.

There were lots more questions about how I felt living as a girl and wearing girls’ clothes and whether I would stay as a girl when the protest was over, how I felt about making dresses for Mum and Cassie and things like that. None of it was nastiness, just curiosity.

“ Promise me girls, not a word to anyone about what you have seen tonight. Most of the boys at school are either totally ignoring me or giving me a hard time, knowing what I have had done would just tip a lot of them over the edge.”

“Promise everybody, this is just between us girls.” Zoë asked each of them in turn before turning back to me. “When you change for netball a lot more of the teams will at least be able to see your breasts, like some of us did the other day when you changed into your sports bra.”

We all chatted away into the early hours until one-by-one we fell asleep and just curled up on cushions on the floor. When I woke up in the morning I felt hair all over my face and an arm over my tummy. I turned to find Zoë curled up on one side of me, and Amy cuddled up into my back.

Feeling worried that anything inappropriate had happened I looked around to see that most of the others were huddled together in various similar combinations, so I was suddenly relieved and did not feel so bad. Gradually everybody woke up, particularly when Lucy pulled open the curtain and the bright sunlight streamed in.

“ It looks gorgeous out there, does anyone fancy going down to the beach or do you all have to go home?” Lucy asked. Most of the girls had to get home, but Zoë, Amy, and I said we would like to join her.

“Did any of you bring a swimsuit or a bikini with you, or do I need to dig through my stuff again, if we are going to the beach we need to dress for it?”

While we were all queuing up for the loo and the girls going home got dressed, Amy disappeared for a while and came back with a big tray of pancakes, butter, jam and honey, a bowl of fresh fruit, and a jugful of fresh orange juice. ‘Tuck in girls.”

To be continued.

Chapter 6

When the others had gone Amy went and fetched a selection of swimwear for us to chose from. After trying them on, the others chose bikinis, but I went for a swimsuit which just managed to cover the line of my breast forms, but was cut quite high on the hips, and I was glad that I had been fixed by Mum’s friend, because it was quite revealing and did not cover much. We all packed our things in our bags and helped Amy tidy the place up.

We were a colourful bunch as we made our way down to the beach, some of us in sundresses, others in shorts and crop-tops. We found a decent bit of space sheltered by the dunes and reed and grass tussocks behind us. handy for the ice-cream shop and hamburger stall and in a good position to watch all the comings and goings

We enjoyed our day down at the beach, sunbathing and relaxing after our late and restless night.
We started watching a group of four boys trying to play volleyball, but with only two on each side it was hard for them to get a rhythm going and work up a decent volley.

"Is anybody feeling energetic enough to join in their game?"I asked the others. They giggled a bit, I think they were more interested in meeting the boys than playing volleyball.

“Do you want another few players, it will be more fun with a full team. I shouted over to them.

“That would be great, come and join us, girls, two of you come over here with us and two over there with the others, that should be a fair balance.”

"No,"said Lucy cheekily, "we were thinking that us four would take you four on, girls against boys, we think that will be fairer.”

"Whatever you want girls, but don’t complain when we thrash you.”

"Back at you, bigmouth! Typical boys, you think girls are useless at sports, we’ll see who thrashes who."Amy called back at them, giggling.

Although the boys were stronger and hitting the ball a lot harder than us, because of our netball experience we were much better at anticipating where the ball was going and were more agile around the court, and gave them a fairly even game, much to their surprise.

"That was fun and a good game, you must have played before"said Paul, one of the boys,”I was wrong to say that we were going to thrash you. Can we join you for a bit, I’ll go and get some ice cream and we can hang out for a while.”

The others gave me a quick look and I just nodded back as it was obvious they were liking the attention and I didn’t want to spoil their fun even if I was a bit worried that the boys might try to get a bit too friendly. As it happened, they behaved themselves and were just at the beach for a bit of fun themselves and were quite happy just sitting talking with us. When it was time to leave for home, they just got up, picked up their things and left with a wave and "Hope to see you all around again.”, much to the disappointment of the others who had been hopIng to be asked on a date or at least arrange another time for us all to meet at the beach."

We all went back to Lucy’s to collect our clothes and things and just as I was leaving she called me over.”

"Thanks for coming Carla, I hope you enjoyed it and weren’t too embarrassed when we made you strip. It was a bit of fun that just went too far, we all just got a bit over-excited.”

"Don’t worry it just added to the fun of the night, I was more worried that you would all be shocked and embarrassed at what you saw, or rather didn’t see.”

"You know Carla. what you have had done is pretty realistic, anybody that didn’t know better would really take you for a girl, you even have a decent figure and quite good skin, being a girl suits you. You are welcome to come to any sleepovers or parties we have from now, as Carla, the invites will not apply to Carl."

"We’ll have to see about that, I am not sure how long Carla will be around for. Thanks for the loan of the swimsuit Amy, I’ll take it home and wash it before giving it back.”

"No worries, keep it for next time, I never wear it anyway, it fits you well, you don’t have a bad figure, considering. I hope that Carla stays around for a while yet.”

Back at home after telling mum about my sleepover and day on the beach, obviously leaving out being dared into stripping naked, I was up in my room changing and about to take off the swimsuit when Mum came in.

"Sorry, for not knocking first Carla, Zoë and her Mum are downstairs and her Mum wants to talk to you. I like the swimsuit, but you are all red, I keep telling you that you should use sunscreen, you’ll have quite a tan when it all settles down. Keep the swimsuit on and just put your sundress over it and come downstairs.”

"Hi Zoë, Mrs Marshall, Mum says you want to see me.”

"Carla, Zoë has told me that you have been on the beach wearing Lucy’s swimsuit. That is not really appropriate, what if somebody recognised you as a boy, just think of how embarrassing it would be for everyone.”

"Carla, drop your dress to the floor."Mum snapped at me and I did as I had been told.

"Margaret, what do you see? Carla looks all girl, there is no reason for anyone to think otherwise, is there? The girls had a good time at the beach, no need to spoil it for them. Carla, go and change out of the swimsuit and come and join us in the garden.”

"i was soon outside with them enjoying the evening sun in the bright blue sky, everything had calmed down and Mrs Marshall had gone back to being her normal pleasant self. Zoë and I shared a jug of freshly-squeezed orange juice while our Mum’s had a bottle of white wine, as we sat and chatted for an hour or so. As they were leaving, Zoë’s mum gave me a hug. ‘ Sorry about being a bit over the top earlier, I was just a bit worried about what would have happened if those boys had been a bit more pushy. Don’t let it stop you coming round to see Zoë, you are welcome any time.”

This was the last week of the month and I was expecting to hear soon whether my campaign to change the rules had been successful. On one hand I was looking forward to being myself again, but on the other hand I was enjoying my time with the girls, they were turning out to be real friends. All my old friends, Sam and the other boys, were still treating me coldly and I realised that if they were that shallow, that they were not really worth knowing and worrying about. I put on my school dress, and brushed my hair, collected my things for school and set off to enjoy my time as Carla for as long as I could.

There were three major events that week which drew me even further into being Carla.

When I was changing for netball on Tuesday the girls were all sniggering about my tan lines as I was changing my top and bra, but there was a deathly silence as I turned to face them as I pulled up my netball skirt and they could see the flat front that I now presented, There were then gasps of amazement and a big cheer.

"Hey Carla you are really one of us now, no need to hide in the corner anymore. Let’s get out there girl and show us what you can really do on the court. Amy told us what she said to you after your first game with us, but there is no need to worry about that now, you must be well over your period.”, causing a lot of hysterical giggling and some quite lewd comments.

I was no longer self-conscious of the movement of my breasts as I ran around the court chasing the ball and realised all the girls had the same thing going on, even with sports bras there was still a lot of jiggling as they ran about. With not having to worry about my ‘boys’ bits’ showing when I was jumping, I was much more relaxed and played quite well setting up a few goals for our shooter. It was all good fun and good exercise and I wondered whether there was any way I could continue with playing netball with them when this was all over.

Partly due to the adrenaline rush we all had from the energetic game, and partly from the excitement of them seeing me getting changed earlier, when I came out the shower cubicle with my towel wrapped around me the girls all seemed a bit excited. I was surrounded by them, and felt someone grabbing my towel away from me, leaving me totally naked.

I was annoyed and embarrassed and about to shout at them when Zoë put her hands on my shoulders. “Just stay calm Carla, it’s an initiation we do to all the girls, usually in year 6, but you missed out on that. It is a way of welcoming you to the sisterhood of your friends. Besides everybody knows about you now, and none of us are bothered about it, in here you are just one of us. Now go and get dressed and we will go off to classes."

Accepting that they had all seen me, and realising that they had treated me no differently to how they had been initiated themselves at some time earlier, I moved my hands away from covering my breasts and my groin and proudly strutted over to where my clothes were hung.

I found that when I had been in the shower my bra and knickers had been replaced with a new lacy set, which I put on while they all clapped and chanted. "Put them on, you sexy thing"which I was told was a play on words from a 70s song by Hot Chocolate. This was the final part of the initiation for me, and I slipped on my dress, collected my things and we set of for our science class.

"Today we are doing something different."started Miss Thomas. "We hare going to discuss the human body and some of the functions. Will the boys go next door to Mr Campbells’ class, and his girls will be coming in here. Carla Duggan, please stay in here with the rest of the girls.”

"Today girls, we are going to talk about the female anatomy, specifically the reproduction system. I know that many of you will think you know it all and will be groaning and muttering when I am talking, but believe me you do not know nearly as much as you think you do. Most of what you think you know you have mainly learned from rumour and gossip and is more than likely mostly wrong.”

For the rest of the lesson she went through the internal workings of the female body, diseases and treatments, feminine hygiene to avoid some of the more common problems, menstruation and associated problems, fertility problems, pregnancy and childbirth, the menopause, and breast and cervical cancers. At the end most of the girls were looking a bit shocked and unnerved at the problems they might face in life and were not nearly as knowingly smug as they were at the start. The bit that particularly hit home with them was her description of childbirth. Most of them had dreamy rose-tinted notions of cuddly cute babies without really thinking about all the associated pain and discomfort and disruption to their lives, and made them listen a lot more intently when she talked about methods of birth control.

On the way out Miss Thomas called me over to stay as the others left.

"I hope you found that interesting and informative Carla. I know that most of it is not really of significance for you, but remember we were all told to treat you as a girl, and girls have to know these things, I hope you weren’t embarrassed at some of the diagrams I showed, and some of the functions I described”

"Not at all Miss. When you started, you said to the girls that all the rumours and gossip were probably misleading or wrong. That is even more true when the boys are sniggering about girls, they are even more ignorant and misguided, particularly about girls being on their periods and feeling a bit grouchy and the size of breasts and things like that. Most of the boys could do with the same lecture, the more we all understand each other, the more we can help each other.”

"I was a bit unsure about having you in this lesson in case the girls were embarrassed with you being here, but most of them now look on you as one of the girls anyway and probably didn’t even see any reason for you not to be here.”

"Miss Thomas, I appreciate that you asked me to stay for this lesson along with the others, I have learned a lot, probably more than most.”

On Friday afternoon, I was called out of class and taken in to see the Headmistress.

"Carla, there was a meeting of the school governors this morning, your protest, and what has happened since, was discussed in great detail. with a lot of strongly-held concerns on both sides of the argument. My tolerance of you wearing a skirt and my insistence on you doing it properly and conducting yourself as a girl did not go down very well and I have been told not to let this situation be repeated, I have been reminded that some people might not take such a tolerant and supportive view as your family and friends and the school could be in trouble.”

“Most things were my decisions, or at least suggestions that I agreed to follow, as far as I am concerned all I want is for you to change the rules, I am not looking to blame anybody else."

“However the governors have reviewed your request to be allowed to wear shorts in the hot weather and they have agreed to change the dress code to allow plain black knee-length shorts, proper dress shorts not sports wear. So you should be happy now and I expect to see Carl back at school on Monday, wearing shorts if you prefer.”

"I am really glad that you have all seen common sense and I am sure that the boys will be pleased too. However while all this has been going on I have really been accepted as one of the girls, and most of my friends and people I spend time with are girls and I am comfortable as I am.”

"I am a bit confused, Are you saying that you are wanting to continue to dress as a girl and be treated as a girl.”

“Playing sports with the boys, I was never particularly good and always got roughed up a bit, whereas playing netball with the girls has got me enthusiastic about fitness again and I would like to continue with that. Also, It was really interesting in Miss Rogers’ needlework class and I enjoyed that too, particularly learning a new skill and making this dress, I am so proud of that. I am sure that skill will come in useful in the future, in fact Cassie and I worked together as a team to make a dress for Mum that she absolutely loves. Now Miss Rogers is teaching us how to knit as most of the girls have never been taught or encouraged by their mothers to learn, and that is something I am doing at home with Mum, we find it very relaxing. I think that, all things considered, I will continue to dress as I am and be treated as Carla, at least until the end of the summer term and the holiday break.”

"I’m not sure that I can allow that Carla, it may be too disruptive to the other pupils, I am sure that they will be expecting to see Carl again. They have all tolerated you dressing as a girl to make your protest, but continuing to dress and act as a girl without that excuse may be too much for some. I think that you will have a much tougher time from now onwards.”

"It might be more disruptive if you force me to go back to being Carl. I am comfortable with the girls, as they are with me, I have made a lot of friends among them, and the boys generally don’t want to know me anymore. If I was suddenly to appear as a boy and be taken out of classes with the girls, I don’t think they would be very happy. Can you imagine what would happen to me if I started using the boy’s changing rooms and washrooms again, even if I go back totally to being Carl, you could very well have the scandal of a rape case, or at least a serious assault to deal with?”

“Are you finished?”

"It depends on you, can I continue coming to school as Carla?”

"Ok, if that is what you want to do, but to be clear I am no longer obliging or even asking you to do so, this is totally your decision, and the school is not liable to answer any complaints from your parents or the parents of other pupils.”

"That’s good, I can now settle down and get on with my next campaigns.”

"What on earth are you going on about?”

“In my time as Carla I have seen lots of imbalances in the way boys and girls are treated. For instance, the girls are now allowed to play football, but the boys are not allowed to join in with netball or hockey. Boys have to keep their hair short and closely trimmed, girls can wear their hair virtually any style and length they wish.Today I sat in Miss Thomas’s class with the girls when she talked about female issues and the boys were sent off for a separate lesson, I think it would be useful if the lessons were given to both genders, separately if it will save embarrassment for the teachers or pupils.

"That is quite a speech, are you finished, do you expect me to agree to all this?”

I could go on, but think that is just about enough for now. Finally, most of the cookery programmes on TV are presented by men chefs, and many of the cookery competitions include a lot of men. I think that boys should be allowed, or even encouraged, to take cookery classes too, and I am sure that many of the girls will appreciate that in years to come. I think that all classes and activities should be open equally to boys and girls. attitudes out in the big wide world are changing, the school needs to accept that, and, although not necessarily leading the way, at least needs not to be left behind ”

I stood up and walked out of her office feeling very proud of the way I had dealt with her, leaving her with her head in her hands, muttering,"Not again, what have I done to deserve this?”

The End

“I’ve really enjoyed meeting you today Louise, you are a lot of fun, next time you are over visiting Anna, we will all have to get together again for a girls’ night out.” Mandy invited me.

“That goes for me too, it might have been a coronation for the King, but you have definitely been our Queen for the day.” Claire said as she smiled and squeezed my hand”

“I hope to see you’ll again soon, it’s been my most enjoyable time for a long while.”

After they had left I collected my clothes in a shopping bag, picked up the shoulder bag she had loaned me for my keys and wallet and went to give Anna a goodbye hug.

“Aren’t you getting changed to drive home?”

“I just thought what’s the point of getting into dirty stuff, I’ll throw it in the washer when I get back.”

“But you are still made up and wearing a skirt.”

“Ive been like this most of day another few minutes for the drive home will not make a big difference. I’ll get your clothes back to you when I’m next over or you come up to my place.”

“Ok, as long as you are comfortable with it, bu let me get you a jar of cream to take with you to clean off your makeup. Drive carefully you don’t want to get stopped by the police and have to give them an explanation. Goodnight…er..Sis, love you.”

I was soon home, parked the car on my drive, had a quick look around to make sure nobody could see me, rummaged in my bag for my keys and quickly let myself in.

I brewed up a coffee and sat down to watch a recording of one of my favourite soaps, for a change noticing how strong most of the female characters were and how they manipulated their menfolk, and feeling more empathy with them than with the males, probably because I had spent all day with Anna and her friends and had began to see things from their point of view. Before going to bed I threw my dirty clothes in the washer along with a lot of stuff that had been collecting in the wash basket and left it running overnight.

Changing out of my clothes, or rather the ones Anna had lent me I realised how comfortable I had been wearing them, and hadn’t even thought about them as I drove home and watched TV. After cleaning off the makeup I put-on a long t-shirt that I normally slept in and climbed into bed.

I woke early a bit distraught after a disturbed night dreaming about my time with Anna and the girls yesterday, all mixed up with my times a teenager out with her and her friends, and the few occasions I had almost forgotten about when I had raided her wash basket to ‘borrow’ some of her clothes and underclothes to try on in the safety of my bedroom. I tried to clear my head of those things, threw on a fresh t shirt and shorts and made myself breakfast before going out to do some weeding in the garden down on my hands and knees.

“Hi Lou, it’s a nice day it’s good to get out in the fresh air isn’t it?” I looked around to see Sharron a neighbour from across the road, who I occasionally socialised with as we were both young single and free.”

“Hi Sharron, did you watch the coronation yesterday?”

“A lot of it but it’s not the same when you are on your own and can’t chat about it with someone. But I don’t mind, I’m going over to my mums later, her and the neighbours have organised a tea for the local children and their parents, so that will be my celebration.”

“Sounds like fun, enjoy yourself, I was helping out at something similar yesterday with Anna my sister.”

“I thought that might be the case, I saw you come back and was quite taken with your outfit, it was so cute.”

“Wwwhat… ?” I spluttered going a deep blush.

“”Don’t worry it doesn’t bother me and your little secret is safe with me. By the way, you still have some eyeliner on your lids and the polish on your nails, and although I’ve often admired your legs, they look much better clean-shaven like that. Come on over and tell me all about it over a cup of coffee. You know what Lou, I think it would be easier if we had the talk with you dressed like yesterday. Go in make yourself presentable and I’ll see you soon.”

Worried about how she calmly reacted and what she would think when she saw me, I quickly put on the skirt and blouse from yesterday, and brushed out my ponytail to give my hair a bit of body to show of the waves Anna had put in it. When we were getting freshened up to go to the pub yesterday, Anna had loaned me a lipstick mascara and eyeliner pencil which were still in my bag, so I did the best I could to replicate what she had done to me.

After having been caught out by Sharron last night I made doubly sure that nobody was about or peering out from their windows and quickly made my way over.

“My oh my, just look at you L…. I can’t think of you as Lou, what were they calling you yesterday.

“Louise, it should be easy to remember.”

“Ok Louise tell me about it , I want to hear all the glorious details.”

“Well,it was like this….” I I told her the full story of how I came to be dressed as a girl and became Louise for the rest of the day.”

“I can see you look good, but to be among a big group of girls like that for hours and not be spotted, you must have been ever so convincing. I have to ask, since you are so good at it, have you done this sort of thing before.”

“Not really, just a couple of times with my sister and her friends when we were younger, but that’s it until yesterday, before you ask I don’t make a habit of it.”

“You really should, you are a natural, you even talk like a girl, if ever you want to do it again, just give me a call, I’ll be happy to help.”

“You better be getting ready to go if you are going to help your mother, there will be a lot to do if yesterday was anything to go by.”

“Why not come with me, another pair of hands will come in useful?”

“I’m not sure, I was fortunate yesterday that nobody clocked me, another day will be pushing my luck.”

“I’m not taking no for an answer, a bit of foundation and blusher along with what you have already done, and you’ll be perfect, Come on Louise it should be fun, you enjoyed yourself yesterday, have another go, nobody there will know you anyway.”

“ I’ll do it but if I am uncomfortable do you promise to bring me straight home?”

“Ok, I promise.”

“I’ll just go over home to get my bag, and the ribbons for my hair if you will put it in bunches for me.

“Hi Mum, this is Louise a neighbour and friend, when she heard that I was coming here she offered to help out.” Sharron introduced me to her mother.

‘Right girls the tables are out, can you dress them with the linen and place settings, there are enough people working on the food in the kitchen, and when you’ve done that there’s a load of bunting which needs hanging up.”

Like the previous day, once I had met a few of the other women, I relaxed and just got on with the jobs, getting frequent smile and thumbs-up from Sharron to keep up my confidence. After the meal there were a few party games for the children with prizes of coronation memorabilia before trying to get them down from their high with a few songs from they favourite tv shows or films. There was an old piano in the corner of the hall, and after checking that it was reasonably in tune I played accompaniment for most of those that I vaguely knew or could guess the general rhythm of which helped to get them to join in more enthusiastically.

“Thank you ever so much Louise, you have been a big help today and your piano playing was an unexpected bonus. Next time I visit Sharron you must come over, I’d love to see you again.” Jenny, Sharron’s mum warmly hugged me as we left for home.

“That wasn’t so bad after all was it Louise, I told you that it would be ok, you are better at being a girl than a lot of the genuine ones in there, and a lot better than you are at being a boy.”

“Well make the most of today, I don’t think that you’ll be seeing Louise again.”

“Hmm we’ll see. Anyway lets stop off at the shops you will need things to clean off your makeup and nails later, and we can round off the day with a glass of wine in the garden, I’ll order a takeaway as a present to you for helping Mum and me out.”

I was putty in Sharron’s hands as we came away from the store with a bag full of cleansers, moisturisers, cotton wool pads, nail polish remover, along with some foundation blusher and nail polish’ in case I ever needed it again’. I just followed what she suggested, I needed to make sure that I had everything I needed to make sure that I was totally makeup-free for work the next day.

It was a pleasant warm spring evening, her garden was a mass of bedding plants around the edge of the lawn issuing a sweet soothing scent as we sat with a bottle of wine passing on each others life stories. She soon knew more about me than anyone but Anna, she had a way of asking questions without appearing over-inquisitive. It was not all one-way though, she told about her marriage in her early twenties and its acrimonious failure two years later after her husband was discovered playing around, which ingrained into her a distrust of men in general and macho men in particular. She told me that she got on with me because I was always pleasant and polite, never aggressive, and I listened when she was talking, unlike her husband who always had his mind on something else, usually some sport or other.

“Don’t forget to clean off your makeup and nail polish properly when you get home and follow up with the night cream, you don’t want to let out all your secrets, and believe me the girls in your office will spot traces of lingering makeup from a hundred yards.

The next morning other than comments about how my hair looked a lot fuller than normal and how fresh and glowing my face looked, there was no noticeable traces of my weekend as Louise. I was the office junior in a staffing agency, mainly dealing with temporary secretarial appointments, and the rest of the staff were all girls who had previously been outworkers as temps, but now preferred the stability of a permanent staff position. Chrissie was the office general manager, Beth looked after the accounts, and Laura dealt with staffing schedules for our clients.

When I was appointed by the company regional manager and first started working there, there was a bit of a cold atmosphere from them all towards me, a suspicion that I had been appointed to learn the business and eventually take over from Chrissie, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was happy enough going in, doing my 8 hours, and going home to relax without any worries or cares about what was going in in the office. Gradually they came to accept me as a working colleague but there was still a barrier between them and me, mainly on the basis that it had previously had a girls’ club atmosphere and having a male in the office clipped their wings a little bit. I often felt that they were having conversations excluding me, and sometimes they arranged after-work social get-togethers which I was invited to but with subtle suggestions that they may not be my thing and that I would not be comfortable going out with three women.

If only they knew about how I had spent my weekend they would’ve needed to have a rethink about how to relate to me, but I had no intention of telling them.

A few days after the coronation weekend Laura came off the phone from one of our regular clients, Hall&Jacobs, solicitors urgently needing a temporary secretary as theirs had phoned in saying that she had a serious fall and would be off work for the rest of the week. Laura was looking worried as we had a full schedule, all our girls were fixed up for the rest of the week and the next. She had nobody to send but didn’t want to turn down the booking.

“Lou, I’ve seen you handle the computer and you seem to get round most of our glitches, but can you type at a reasonable speed?”

“I’m not a touch typist doing 100WPM but I am not too bad, and I normally get things right first time, so that compensates a bit.”

“Get yourself over to Hall&Jacobs, ask for Mr Hall, apologise that we cannot send in one of our usual staff but that you can fill in until someone is available. Make sure you do a good job we can’t afford to lose them, they are a good client.”

“Hi, I’m here to see Mr Hall about the temp secretarial position, Jeremy Lewis Carmichael, everyone calls me Lou.”

“Just a moment I’ll let him know that you are here., I’m Sally by the way. A word of warning, he tends to be a bit formal, he will probably prefer that you introduce yourself as Jeremy.”

“Please come into my office Mr Carmichael. Please take a seat. I normally get sent a woman as a temp for me, it tends to go down better with my clients, is there nobody else available?”

“I’m afraid not today. I assure you that I am more than willing and capable of carrying out any duties you require, but if it is a major issue to you I’ll call the office and see if they can shuffle people around to send someone else tomorrow. Would you like me to stay for the rest of today to help you out?”

“I suppose so, but I do want someone else tomorrow, a woman.”

I settled in and soon got into the swing of things and other than the fact I was male, I thought Mr Hall recognised that I was doing a reasonable job for him, and it was a pity that he was so adamant that he wanted a female temp. At lunchtime I gave the office a call.

“Hi Laura it’s Lou. Mr Hall is happy for me to work here today, but he is insistent on someone else tomorrow, not that I’ve been doing anything wrong, it’s just that he wants a female temp. Are you sure that there is nobody else you can call on or shuffle around?”

“No chance, it’s a holiday week. Some of our girls are away with their families and our clients are needing people to cover for their staff on leave.”

“Leave it with me, I might have an idea.”

“Hi Sharron have you anything planned for this evening, I need your help with something?’

“That should be ok, what’s your problem?”

“It would help if I could be Louise for a few days at work, do you think that I could get away with it?’

“That’s a bit weird, but the answer is yes. You were totally accepted at the two parties over the weekend without any problems, not only did you look and act the part but you seemed quite comfortable and natural at it. What on earth are you up to?

“I’ll see you about 5:30 in the atrium at the Guildhall Mall, and tell you all about it then, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

At the end of the afternoon Mr Hall called me into his office. “Thank you for your work today Jeremy you have done a first class job, but as I explained I would really prefer someone else, have you managed to sort someone out for me?”

“Actually yes I have, Louise will be with you just before you open at 9:00 in the morning, I’m sure that you will find her to be acceptable.”

I arrived at the Mall before Sharron and ordered coffees and cakes they arrived just before she did.

“Why are we here Lou and what is this all about?”

“Basically we have run out of temps and one of our best clients was desperate for someone and I was volunteered to go there for a few days. However the guy there is real old-school and thinks that secretaries have to be female, but other than that he was happy with my work. So tomorrow I am going to turn up there as Louise and see out the week or so until his staff secretary returns.”

“I’m sure that is illegal discrimination, you should sue him under equality laws.your idea is ridiculous but it might work, what do you want from me?”

“The client is a firm of solicitors and there are no witnesses to what he said, so it is not worth the hassle to challenge him, and we would probably lose a regular client. Down to business, If I’m going to be there for a week I need some suitable clothes and whatever else you think will be necessary, that’s why we are here at the Mall, I need your shopping expertise.”

“You’ve just tuned in to one of my favourite hobbies if it’s shopping you want, I’m the girl for you.”

Three hours later we were almost forced out as the Mall was closing, and made our way back to my place laden down with bags. Sharron had convinced me that I needed to get four skirts and blouses, a light jacket, bras and panties to change each day, two packs of tights, three pairs of shoes, two with heels and one as comfortable flats for driving, along with a vast array of lotions cosmetics, hair care ‘essentials’ and lots of bits and pieces that I wasn’t even sure why they were needed. It seemed an awfully big collection for a few days work but Sharron was insistent that it was all needed.

It was a big hit on my credit card, but if it worked out ok I was certain that I would get most of it back from the agency. I knew Chrissie gave the girls a clothing and grooming allowance so that they gave a smart professional image when clients visited the office and I would now expect the same treatment.

“Ok Louise, and you had better start getting used to the name, leave the clothes until later, you seemed comfortable the other day with using the makeup so that can wait as well. What you need before I go is a quick course in hair care using the styling wand and curling tongs, we’ll leave the delights of rollers to another day.

“That’s it for now, you should be able to tidy that up in the morning yourself. Sort yourself out in the morning, do your hair and makeup, pick out an outfit and than pop over to let me have a look before you go off to face the world. Do your nighttime skincare regime and wear the new satin PJ set, you need to totally immerse yourself in your new femininity. See you bright and early in the morning.”

After Sharron left I put away most of my new clothes except for the the plain black skirt and jacket with a pale lemon blouse for the morning that I left hanging behind the bathroom door to drop out the creases, changed into my PJs, tied up my air, slapped on the night cream and climbed into bed to get my mind around everything that I would need to do in the morning to prepare for my first day working as Louise.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I slept rather well and woke up refreshed ready for the challenges I would have to face today. After a light breakfast of yoghurt followed by coffee and a slice of toast, I sat down at my dressing table to do my makeup. It took a lot longer than I had expected, everything was still new and very little blended in perfectly the first time, but eventually I was happy with the light-touch fresh look, it is amazing how long it takes to look as if most of it is natural.

The hair was a lot easier to manage, tying it up overnight it had kept most of the shape that Sharron had created the previous night, and it just needed a good brush out to hang in loose waves down to my shoulders, and a light spray to keep it in place.

I was soon dressed and ready to go over to Sharron’s for a final inspection before facing the world, slipped into my heeled court shoes and went over to find her still in her dressing gown.”

“Come on in Louise let me have a good look at you, I’ll sort myself out later. You look amazing, so smart and professional, not perfect, but then none of us are. Get yourself off to work and show them what you can do girl, don’t worry, just act as if you have been Louise all your life and you will be alright. Don’t forget your bag and all the essentials and put on your flat shoes for driving, you will find it a lot easier until you get used to wearing heels.”

I arrived at Hall&Jacobs in plenty time and had to wait in a coffee bar over the road for someone to arrive and open up. I was just finishing my coffee when I saw Sally coming up the street and as she opened the door I followed her in.

“Hi, I’m Louise Carmichael, I’m here to work for Mr Hall for a few days.”

“Welcome to Hall&Jacobs, I’m Sally, receptionist and office junior. There is no-one else here yet, let me show you where your desk is, and we’ll grab a coffee and have a chat before anyone else arrives.”

I hung my jacket and bag over my chair and followed her into the kitchenette, looking around as if I had never been there before, we made ourselves a drink and sat down for a chat. “It’s bit of a coincidence we had a Jeremy Carmichael working here as a temp yesterday he was actually quite good and a bit dishy, but Mr Hall is so old-fashioned and likes his office staff to be female.”

“I know, Jeremy is a sort of distant cousin and he told me about the vacancy, so here I am, and from what he said I am quite looking forward to it.”

We were interrupted when Mr Hall, his partner Mr Jacobs, and the other office staff started arriving and I went back to my desk outside Mr Hall’s office to wait for instructions on what was needed to be done, trying not to forget that this was supposed to be my first day here and everything was supposed to be new.

“Thanks for coming in Louise, you’ll soon settle in, if you need to know where anything is, just ask Sally, she’s relatively new but is a quick learner. I’ve got a few things to sort out before there will be anything for you to do, get Sally to show you how to access the computer system so that you know your way around when I feed some work to you.

In addition to Mr Hall and Mr Jacobs, there were two other junior solicitors, Bob and Steve, two paralegals Meg and Abby and two other general office staff, Pam and Rachel, as well as Sally. There was definitely a male/female office hierarchy, the senior professionals all male, the administration team all female, Sally was right, Mr Hall definitely preferred to be staffed by females. Someday somebody would drag the practice into the 21st century and they would admit that women also had a senior role to play, but it was not the time nor my place to say anything to rock the boat. I had only been in the role of a woman for less than a day, but already I was beginning to see injustices and prejudice and see things from a female point of view. Despite that everyone was polite, if a bit formal, and seemed happy enough with the arrangements.

I was sorting out some old files that needed processing when the phone buzzed.

“Hello, can I speak to Mt Hall please?” I heard a familiar voice.

“Hi Laura, it’s Lou just ignore the voice and listen. Everything is going ok, but I need to speak to you before you talk to Mr Hall. Can you come over and meet me in the café opposite their offices at lunchtime?”

Laura was already sitting looking out of the window when I walked in and sat opposite her.

“Excuse me, but I’m waiting for someone and that seat is taken, she said and suddenly her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Lou is that you?” She squealed in shock.

“It’s Louise today, and keep your voice down and act normally. Yesterday Mr Hall made it clear that he wanted a female temp, you had nobody available, so with a lot of help from a friend I came back today as Louise and everything seems fine.”

“If he finds out then that will be the end of him as a client for us.”

“He had better not find out then, had he.” I replied with a big smile. “I seem to be totally accepted as Louise, so let’s not make waves. I’ll just see out this posting then return back to normal to the office.”

“You didn’t have to do this, are you ok with it all, I mean it is all a bit unusual isn’t it?”

“I’ll manage, but it would help if you could have a word with Chrissie and get me the usual office clothing and grooming allowance, this look has not come cheap.”

“My oh my, you are taking this seriously, not only are you looking like a girl, you are thinking like one two, worried about your appearance. I’ll sort something out for you. Now tell me what put this idea into your head, I know you are working with a group of women, but you have never shown any signs of wanting to join us.”

She sat enthralled as I told her all about the coronation parties and how I had helped out Anna and Sharron’s mum and socialising with Anna’s friends and with Sharron.”

“Wow you definitely seem to have had a fun weekend. You seem to have adapted well, have you ever done anything like this before?”

“Not really, a couple of times as a teenager I went out dressed with Anna and her friends but that is it, this is not a regular habit for me.”

“I’m not sure that I believe that, you are just so natural as a girl, but we’ll not argue about it.”

“I better be getting back before they wonder where I am. If you need to talk to Mr Hall, remember to refer to me as Louise. I don’t expect that you will keep this to yourself, but make sure the girls in the office understand that I am doing this to help out the company, not because it is something I want to do.”

As I got up to leave she came over and gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek “Take care Louise?”

When I got home after work I was just going in when Sharron rushed over and came in with me.

“How did it go Louise, a bit different to your normal day I’ll bet. Tell me all about it, or better still, change into something more casual and we’ll go out for a pub meal and talk there. Your denim skirt should be fine it’s less business-like, the rest of you is ok, just add a bit more lippy and you’ll be ready to go.”

We drove out to a little canal-side pub and grabbed an outside table on the bank where we would not be overheard and ordered some food and drink, while I told her everything.”

“So Laura was ok with it then, will she keep your secret?”

“Not a chance they all love their gossip and often clam up when I approach them. It’ll be the highlight of the day in the office, and I expect a load of stick when I get back.”

“From what you said you’ve got a week to prepare yourself for that, forewarned is forearmed. Let’s change the subject and just chat like any other two girls out for drink.”

That was the first of several nights out with Sharron, including one with her mum joining us, and along with a couple of lunches with Sally I was settling deeper and deeper into my life as Louise, and in many ways actually enjoying it.

The following Friday my stint at Hall&Jacobs was over, I collected my bits and pieces, said the goodbyes and left.

Just after closing the door behind me I was suddenly grabbed by the hand by Laura. “Come with me there is something we need to talk about as she led me into a little Italian restaurant just along the road. As we walked in I was taken aback by the sight of the other girls from the office. “Hi everyone meet Louise who I told you about, let’s sit down have a nice meal and get to know her better.”

After the initial shock for them as well as for me, and after Chrissie and Beth had spent a few minutes appraising my new image from head to toe it all settled down, they accepted me as Louise and it became just another girls’ night out with office colleagues.

“How have you enjoyed your first job as a temp then Louise?” Chrissie asked “Are you available if we need emergency cover again?”

“If necessary, but I don’t want take habit of it.”

“Will we see Louise in the office on Monday or is it back to shy plain old Lou? It’ll be a shame to waste all the clothes and bits and pieces that you now have”, a grinning Beth asked the obvious question

“You’ll have to wait and see, but It has been a fun experience.”

“Oh come on, there’s only the four of us in the office and we all think you’ve done brilliantly. You’ve been playing the part of a girl for a week or so, another day isn’t going to make any difference is it?

I managed to get in the house without being visited by Sharron and sat down with a glass of wine to think about what the girls had said, and decided to go and see Anna and talk it over with her before I made any decisions. As I was getting into my car after giving Anna a call to check she was in, Sharron came over and knocked on the window.

“You’re obviously going out somewhere, but can you spare a couple of minutes? Come on over for a few minutes Louise, and I’m glad to see that you are still dressed as Louise, it will save a bit of embarrassment.”

“After the way you talked those times we were out, I could not see Louise going away very quickly and thought of a way to make you even more convincing. You have managed very well with those cheap bags of gel that Anna gave you as imitation breasts, but I thought that someone as attractive as you deserved something better and have bought you a decent set of breast forms, let’s get them fitted and see how they look and feel.”

“There you are, they are an awful lot better and are pretty realistic, as long as you keep your clothes on nobody will be able to tell and the glue will hold them firmly in place until you decide that they aren’t for you.”

“Thank you Sharron, but you shouldn’t have, I’m sure that they weren’t cheap, they feel a bit weird but I’ll give them a fair trial. I’m off to see Anna to have a talk with her about what I have been doing, I’ll pop over again tomorrow.”

When Anna opened the door to me, she didn’t recognise me at first and just stood there blankly waiting for me to say something, before suddenly realising that it was me, she dragged me inside and nearly crushed me in a big hug.

“ Oh Lou…ise, you look amazing, and so smart and formal, what’s this in aid of?”

“I’ve been working for a week or so as a temp and these are my work clothes, let’s go and sit down and I’ll tell you everything that has happened since you last saw me.”

“What a story, you amaze me, dressing for the party was a bit of fun, I never thought it would lead to this. What happens now?”

“I don’t know I am so confused, the girls at work all would really prefer to see Louise on Monday, but I’m not sure.”

“Why not stay here for the weekend, as Louise, and see how it goes, we can get together with Claire and Mandy and see what they think. Did you bring anything with you or just as you are. “

“I only came over for a chat, not for the weekend so what you can see is all that I have, apart from the coronation party outfit you loaned me, which has been washed and ironed to give back to you.”

“You can keep them and the undies you wore, I have plenty. Go back home and pack a case for the weekend, you are too formal and business-like as you are to go out socialising, bring something a bit more casual, it’s supposed to a nice warm weekend have you got a light summer dress.”

“No I really only bought stuff for the office apart from a denim skirt.”

“When you get back we will go shopping and get you a couple of casual outfits. Drive carefully and I’ll see you later.”

When I got back I changed into the denim skirt and a loose pale pink blouse which was as casual as I had, and was soon back at Anna’s.

“That’s better, let’s go to the shops and see what we can find for you.” Anna seemed to be enjoying this.

Anna seemed determined to turn me into a ‘girly girl’ and after trying on a few dresses, we went back home with a floral sleeveless, full skirted, maxi dress and something similar with colourful geometric stripes, along with two broderie anglaise gypsy tops and another light multi-coloured patterned skirt. I was ready for a quiet night in after the week I had, and we settled down to watch soaps and dramas on TV, until it was time for bed.

I had become used to wearing my PJ set and didn’t think twice about changing into it, although without a bra supporting my falsies I was a bit embarrassed walking out to say goodnight to Anna with them jiggling about under the flimsy top.”

“Oh you have really gone to town haven’t you, you are as big up top as I am, I didn’t realise that they were permanent, I just thought that they would come off with your bra. Come here and let me have a good look>’

“Don’t be embarrassed Louise, I’ll not see anything that I have not seen before.”

“Not on me you haven’t, Sharron only gave them to me today and I’m not really used to having them yet and the way they move about.”

“You’ll get used to them, all us girls have had too, although we have had a bit more time to gradually adjust to them. They are actually quite good, pretty realistic. You have no more surprises for me have you, that is as far as you have gone?”

“It’s as far as I am ever likely to go. Anyway I’m off to bed, Sis.” Giving her a goodnight hug it was a strange sensation feeling my breasts being squeezed against me by hers, but it was something I would need to get used to if Louise was going to be around for a while.

I was up first in the morning, put on a light dressing gown, Anna had loaned me and made my way to the kitchen to sort something out for breakfast. I was just finishing a cup of coffee when Anna appeared, still half-asleep.

“Morning, Lou, sorry Louise, whatever, is the coffee still fresh.”

“Do you want anything cooked or will toast and marmalade do you?

“That’ll be fine, and a bowl of cereal, that’s all I usually have. What do you fancy doing today, it looks like it will be nice and warm, lets go for a walk around the gardens at Northcote Hall, it should be quite pretty up there, the river bank is normally covered with bluebells and wild orchids at this time of year, and there is a nice café there to get a lunch.

“That sounds good, do you think that a skirt and top will be ok?

“Make the most of your time as Louise, wear one of your new summer dresses, don’t bother with tights , and put on some flat shoes. they will be better for walking on the lawns.

Although I often wore shorts as Lou in the summer, it was a totally different, more pleasant, sensation, feeling the breeze blowing on my bare legs which were being brushed by the hem of the dress as I walked, arms linked with Anna. We had a really enjoyable day out together wandering around the grounds admiring the views. Although we often spent time together it somehow felt different today, we seemed a lot closer and more in tune with each other.

“Remember those times that you spent with me and my friends dressed as a girl. It made me wonder what it would be like to have a sister, someone I could share confidences, and clothes, with and now it looks like I might be getting one, or at least a part-time one. I’m not sure how I should feel about you acting as Louise, but I am actually quite comfortable with it, I love you as Lou, but I love you as Louise too.”

“Let’s not rush things Anna, just enjoy our sisters’ weekend together.”

“I gave Claire and Mandy a call and have arranged to meet them tonight in the Athena Taverna in town. I didn’t tell them you were here, so you don’t have to come if you don’t want too. As you are supposed to be having a Louise weekend, I thought that it would be good for you to have a night out with the girls, are you up for it?”

“If you’re sure that they will be ok with Louise just turning up with you, I’ll give it a go.”

The girls were already there when we arrived and walked up to the table.

“ Hi girls, remember Louise, although she looks a bit different to when you last met her.”

There was a sudden outburst of shrieks and giggles drawing a lot of attention from the other diners, before they calmed down and started talking in more subdued tones.

“I know that we said you would have to join us for a girls’ night out, but didn’t really expect you to take us up on it, but you’re more than welcome Louise.” Claire stood up to give me a hug.

“I can’t believe it is really you, but if it is not offensive, you are very attractive now that you have really decided to take it seriously. This is obviously not your first time out, let’s have all the details.” Mandy followed on, her eyes repeatedly focussing on my breasts.

Over a bottle of wine as we waited for our food order, I told them the full story.

“Really, you were working in an office for a week as Louise and nobody caught on, it’s hard to believe, but I have to admit you are ever so natural and look no different to any other girl and those falsies are so realistic.”

“What about next week back at the agency? Do you think the other girls will accept you?”

“I’ll give it a go on Monday and see how the day goes, if they make a big fuss and constantly go on about it, I’ll probably go in on Tuesday back as Lou. If they just treat me as normal and let me get on with my job I might think about staying as Louise for a while.”

Once that was all out of the way, the rest of the night it was forgotten about and I just fitted in with the girls, joining in their run-of-the-mill chat about their lives, clothes, men, tv as we enjoyed our food and drink.

When we left the Taverna I was included in their normal goodnight hugs and cheek kisses that they usually did.

“Goodnight then Louise, I hope to see you again soon.” Both Claire and Mandy wished me as they left.

Back home, we changed into our nightwear, cleaned off the makeup and I tied up my hair before settling down for a last relaxing drink before going to bed.

“That all went well Louise, Mandy and Claire couldn’t believe that it was you at first and were convinced that I was playing a joke on them. If you decide that Louise is going to be around for a while, you will have no problems.

That night I tossed and turned for ages trying to decide whether to end my time as Louise and take back my life as Lou, and eventually fell asleep to dream about what my life would be like as Louise.

Sunday morning I slipped into my light summer dress and helped Anna do a tidy up and clean around the house, before packing my case to return to my place.

“Give me a ring tomorrow to let me know whether Lou or Louise turned up for work and what reaction you got, drive carefully Sis, and take care.”

At home I shuffled things around in my wardrobe and drawers to make a bit of space for my Louise clothes, put away all the stuff ilying found in to the washer or the dishwasher and soon had the place spick and span, probably influenced by helping at Anna’s. The house was as clean and tidy as it ever had been, the feminine mindset made me a lot more fussy than normal.

Having been busy at work all week and spending the weekend at Anna’s, my cupboards were a little bare so I decided to take a trip down to the supermarket to stock up. I was loading my bags of groceries into the car, when I heard the click of heels behind me and was shocked to see Chrissie.

“Hi Louise, I wasn’t sure if we would see see again, but you have obviously slipped into your new role. The girls were serious on Friday, they really would like you to come into the office tomorrow as a full member of the team, but it is up to you, whichever you decide is ok with me. See you in the morning.”

Monday morning I sat in a cafe near the agency, dressed for work as Louise in a pale blue blouse, black skirt and low 2” heels, building up the courage to go into the office. The girls had all seen me on Friday night at the restaurant and I knew that they would accept me. This was different though, once Louise entered the office, they would not easily let me go back and that would become my life.

Other than a few bits of fun with Anna and her friends when I was younger, cross-dressing and thoughts of living as a woman had never entered my head, but the last few weeks had changed all that. In a short space of time, not only was I comfortable wearing the clothes, but I had also eased into the lifestyle until it was becoming second-nature to me.

Fortified after a strong coffee, I got up and confidently crossed the road, through the main door and up the stairs. After a quick last-minute fluff of the hair and smoothing of my jacket and skirt, I entered the lion’s den not knowing what to expect. There was a big banner “Happy Birthday Louise.” And three grinning faces waiting to welcome me. I stood there not knowing how to react until Chrissie came over to give me a big hug, closely filled by Claire and Laura.

“How did you know that I would be coming in as Louise, I didn’t really decide myself until this morning?”

“After seeing you at the supermarket yesterday, looking so relaxed in your summer frock and not even flinching when I came over and said hello, there was no way that you were going to turn up as Lou.”

After allowing a few minutes for the girls to bombard me with questions and comments about my outfit, Chrissie got things under control again.

“Ok that’s it everyone. Louise hang up your jacket and go over to your desk, from now it is just a normal day at the office.”

**********************************************************************************************************

I soon settled into the routine of the office as Louise, the girls just treated me the same as each other after that and Lou was soon forgotten.

Just over two years later, after intensive counselling and hormone treatment, I finally took the ultimate step to become as complete a woman as possible, and settled into my new life with my partner Sharron, who was now carrying a child, my last big act as a man before it was too late.

The end.