Boyfriend & Girlfriend
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Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 1
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Nina and Joey walked to school everyday that week. Joey was more then uncomfortable about the arraignment but what choice did he have. She had discovered his secret. She had seen him full dressed and she had seen him partially undressed as well. She knew that he was a cross dresser and that was not going to change.
Joey had never considered Nina as a friend although they were the same age and he had known her most of his life they lived in the same neighborhood and even were in the same grade at in school. He had always been friendly toward her, but Joey was friendly toward everyone. But telling his friends that he was not walking to school with them for a while caused a stir. Fortunately for Joey, Nina was cute, so the boys understood and thought that they knew what he was up too.
As they walked together they talked of Bobby Owens and his friends and that night. They talked about her brother Enrique. They talked about Joey and Lana.
“Why do you do it?” she asked.
“I do it because it makes the world right for me,” was his answer. “I do it because it feels so good and so right!”
She truly seemed to understand his reasons and accepted the reason as well. They continued to walk and talk each day and Joey discovered that he really did like talking to her. She was very knowledgeable about transvestites and cross-dressing. She was insightful as to his feelings and the emotions that were a part of a boy wanting to be a girl. They talked about fashion and hair, shoes and makeup. Each day when she got to the corner Joey was waiting for her. And as they got to school they would stand out side and talk until the last possible minute before the bell rang. As Joey lay in bed each night he had trouble falling asleep as he went over and over the things that they had talked about. The things that he had said that week to Nina were things that he had never said out loud before.
The fact that the school thought that they were a couple was fine with Joey. It would help stop the questions that he had about his own sexuality, plus it would make his life easier when dealing with girls that wondered why he was not aggressive with them like all the other boys were.
Each day they spent together made them become closer. They discovered that they enjoyed each others company very much. Their relationship was quickly built on friendship and grew to so much more. She was not like other girls that he had talked with. She was very interested in him! She asked questions about his feeling and emotions. She gotten inside of him, where no one had ever been to before; not his friends, nor even his family.
He told her how he got started wearing his sister’s clothes. He described in detail his baby sitting jobs where he would spend the night dressed. He talked of his trips downtown on the bus to go shopping for clothes as he built his wardrobe. She liked many of the same things that he liked and offered to help him shop in the future. The relationship was not one way by any means. She talked about herself and her brother Enrique. She described how she discovered when they were quite young that Enrique was not born in the right body. Nina told him that when they played as children they played as sisters. Their favorite game was dress up. Enrique never had to be forced to play with girls; he just seemed to be one of the girls from day one. As a child Enrique was always dressed as a girl.
Mrs. Lopez never seemed to mind that Rikkie had replaced her son Enrique. When they went shopping for clothes they always bought two sets of clothing. For him, a cute outfit was a cute outfit - it didn’t matter if it was a boy's or a girl's. Plus Rikkie could always fit the things that Nina had grown out of. Rikkie liked dresses and skirts he was a girly girl and there was no doubt about it. Nina had the responsibility of looking out for Rikkie. Being the oldest with mom working, Nina ran the house for them. Their father had been killed in a car accident three months before Enrique was born. Mrs. Lopez worked two jobs to support the family. She left for work at 4:30 AM on the bus and returned home at 11:30 PM each and every day. So Nina was about all that Rikkie had, growing up.
Rikkie's evolution as a girl came quickly and very naturally. Long hair was in style and his hair was the prettiest in the neighborhood. Enrique attended school as a boy but that was the only time that he was a boy. Being very feminine, his male life was very difficult. He had to learn quickly that boys hurt you if you couldn’t stand up for yourself.
After a while the boys stopped trying to pick on him because Enrique could protect himself. He could fight and fight well! The skill was a big asset in a Hispanic neighborhood where macho ruled. So the neighborhood left him alone and he took advantage of it. Nina and Enrique had agreed that Rikkie should remain a secret and only harm would come if she were discovered. That was the same decision that Joey had made for himself and Lana. Like Rikkie he too wanted more then any thing to be Lana, but the circumstances and the times being what that were, it was best to not be discovered.
Nina had not only gained Joey’s confidence but she had earned his trust and respect too. He shared everything with her about himself and his life as Lana and she took it all in. On Thursday of that first week they ran into Bobby Owens on the way home from school.
Bobby walked up to Nina pretty much ignoring Joey and asked, “Who was that girl that ran from me the other night? Do you know her?”
“Why were you chasing her?” Nina asked.
“She messed around with the wrong guy, that’s all!”
Joey made no bones about it he hated Bobby and felt the need to protect Nina! He stepped between them and dropped his books and standing nose to nose with him asked, “Is there a problem here?”
Joey couldn’t help but smile at the thought that the last time he was nose to nose with Bobby, he had kissed him!
Bobby stepped back and turned away quickly and said, “No man, we don’t have a problem at all!”
Joey told her what had happen that night he was chased and they laughed all the way home. As he walked her to her door, he was wondering if he should kiss her goodbye, and questioning if she wanted him to. Just then a voice came out of no where, “Hi sis! It’s about time you got home. I’m hungry!!”
They both turn to see Enrique smiling at them from the doorway of their apartment. “You can cook better then I do, so you fix dinner!"
Enrique walked down the stairs toward them and Joey felt his emotions boil.
“Hi Joey!” Enrique said before Joey could begin to think about what to say. Extending his hand toward Joey they shook hands and then Enrique pulled him forward into a hug. Brief as it was Joey understood that there was much exchanged between them with the little hug!
They both turned to see Nina’s face locked in the biggest grin you every saw! “What are you smiling about?” they both said in unison.
“I’m just happy to see my two favorite girls in the whole world finally meet, well sort of,” she said. “I want to have you over for dinner tomorrow if you can make it?”
“Well, not you, but Lana, come over for dinner and then you can meet Rikkie. I think you both will be surprised.”
It is always a struggle for a person with a secret to put it out there for people to see. Being a transvestite, you learn to hide, to stay back, and never let anyone see a trace of the girl that lives inside. You must not let down your guard, EVER! This makes for a lonely life. You tend to keep people at a distance, for fear of harm coming to you from them over the secret!!
Joey’s eye shot back and forth between Nina and Enrique; he stammered and searched for the words.
“I take that as a yes then” Nina said before he could back out of it. “Will 5:30 work for you Joey, we can work out the details tomorrow on the way to school?”
“Don’t worry everything will be fine Joey, trust me!” She then leaned forward and kissed Joey ever so gently. Electricity shot through Joey like it never had before. Yes he had kissed before and so had Lana, but this was the first time that they had both kissed each other, and it was wonderful!!
“I do.” was the first words out of his mouth as their kiss ended.
“I do? What? Did you two just get married?” Enrique asked.
“I do trust you Nina!” Joey replied.
Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 2
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Joey lay awake with thoughts moving so quickly in his brain, that sleep would be impossible. He had gone to bed early that night saying something to his family about being “really tired!" His mom had followed him up stairs and into his room,
“Joey, are you alright, you seem troubled?" His mom always seemed to know when Joey was bothered by something, and not quite right.
“I’m okay Mom. Basketball is just kicking my butt. I have been working really hard and I’m just tired."
She grabbed his chin and said “Look at me. You know that you can tell me when something is bothering you?"
“Sure Mom, but I am okay, really!” he replied.
He thought for a moment how he should just tell her everything; spill his guts and tell her all about Lana and his desire to be a girl.
“Umm. I guess I sort of… do have something to tell you,” he stuttered slowly. “I, I think I-I-I, have a girl friend." He knew that he couldn’t tell her what he had wanted so badly to tell her.
“Nina Lopez?” she asked.
“How do you know Mom?"
“Joey, I know everything that goes on around here,” she smiled.
“EVERYTHING????"
“I saw you walking to school yesterday so I figured something was going on with you two."
“I like her Mom. She is really nice and I think maybe she likes me too. She asked me to come over for dinner tomorrow and to hang out for a little while at her home. Is that okay?"
“Sure, you can do that. But you have to be back home by 10:00 pm. I’m really happy for you Joey, but just remember this: you are still young and impressionable. My advice to you is not to rush into anything. Take your time and think things over. There will be a lot more girls that you will meet and like in your lifetime.”
Pausing at the doorway, she turned,” Get a good night’s sleep tonight. It sounds as if you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow!!"
“Thanks Mom. Good Night,” he replied as she left. After a minute had passed, Joey got up out of bed and went over to his door. Checking out the noises, he did not hear his mom moving about upstairs. He then slowly closed his door. He waited for a moment again, terrified he would hear his mother return. Finding it still quiet, Joey opened his closet and pulled out his special bag hidden in the back of the closet. He very quickly went into the bag and pulled out everything that he would need for the secret mission he had planned for tomorrow evening and for Fridays dinner date with his “girlfriend."
Joey had packed inside it his makeup bag, wig, skirt, sweater, and a pair of panties that he would need. The heels were taking up the most room in his bag after positioning them sideways to cover the girl clothing. Finally, he packed his basketball stuff on top of all that. He was ready! Nervous, but ready!
He pulled out his night gown off of the hanger out from underneath his winter coat which had been hidden inside and hanging with it while it hung and slipped it under his pillow quickly. Joey paused. He again listened at the door for any sign of movement within the house. Hearing nothing, he put the gently zipped the gym bag shut and placed it back into the closet. He speedily changed into the gown for bed and slipped happily back under his bedcovers. Joey had been sleeping in a night gown for a full year now. Surprisingly, he had been doing in a house full of people and he had never been discovered! The cool sheets and the soft satiny feel of his nightgown always made the first few moments under the sheets an erotic thrill that he enjoyed immensely! He replayed the plan over and over again in his head. Joey was unaware when sleep had finally overtaken him and he had closed his eyes.
Nina was waiting for him when he arrived at the corner that morning. She greeted him unexpectedly with a warm and lasting kiss. She really looked beautiful to him and had a gleam in her eyes that seemed make her seem more special.
“I’m really excited about you coming over tonight Joey, aren’t you?"
“I couldn’t sleep last night. I was thinking about it… and well… you." Joey just felt warm and happy inside.
They walked and talked and got to school before they knew it. Joey stopped.
“I’ll be there right after practice tonight about 5:15pm, I guess. Is that okay?"
Nina, showing signs of the same feeling of anticipation that he had about this evening he was going to be spending with her, responded, “We’ll be ready for you Joey. My mom made some tortillas last night when she got home, so we’ll have a nice meal homemade dinner tonight.”
Nina then whispered into his ear, “I’ll see you tonight Lana. Love you girl!"
Joey watched her walk on inside of the school while he tried to recover from what Nina had just said to him.
Lana was now ready! Her makeup was perfect and she looked and felt cute. This was a day that she thought would never come! She was about to meet her two best friends for dinner, and she knew that, no matter what happened that night, her life was about to change forever! She was really eager to be the person that she had always kept locked away in a duffel bag in a closet! She leaned closer to the mirror to check that her eyeliner was straight. After all, her hand had been trembling as she was applying her makeup. Just then there was a knock at the door!
She heard a voice ask, “Can I come in?"
The door slowly started to open. Lana, scared witless, felt the need to pee really bad! Second thoughts about tonight began coursing through her as she watched the door open further! Scared, and nowhere to go, she scrunched her eyes shut and waited. There was the rustle of footsteps on the carpet and the door shut. Silence. She opened one eye and then saw that it was Nina in a short black skirt. Whew!
Nina was wearing a red sweater with a cowl neck. Her hair was different too. It was much curlier and a little longer then she usually wore it. Her makeup was also different than Lana had ever remembered it being, but it was perfect; subtle, soft, with bright red lipstick and dark eye shadow.
Nina walked in the bed room a little more sexier walk than she normally did too. Her heels were at least 4 inches and her hips rolled back and forth with each step.
“Hi girlfriend! I’m Rikkie! It’s so nice to meet you. You look stunning Lana!"
With that Lana and Rikkie stood facing one another for the first time.
It was not Nina!! She sure looked like her though!
Rikkie was beautiful! She even painted her nails! Lana felt a twinge of not looking beautiful enough because she had never painted her nails! They both stood staring at one another for what seemed an eternity.
Overcome with so many feelings, and a flood of emotion, they embraced!
Lana felt Rikkie’s breasts against her! They mutually held on tight to one another and rocked. Joy, like none she had ever known before coursed through Lana’s being. The magic of the moment, being held, the warmth from Rikkie’s body, the feeling of being safe, and Rikkie’s choice of perfume all made that hug a moment Lana thought could have only come from a dream.
Lana felt tears slowly rolling down her cheek, “I’m not alone,” she softly whispered.
Rikkie broke the hug first and happily answered, “No hon. We are not alone anymore!!"
Lana, seeing that she had not been alone in crying, gently wiped at the trail of tears on Rikkie’s cheek. She felt an overwhelming sense of belonging to this new and wonderful other person. Rikkie slowly offered her hand out to her. Lana found she had automatically placed hers with Rikkie’s. That feeling of rightness returned to Lana and numbed her senses as Rikkie enclosed Lana’s hand within hers.
Together.
They walked hand in hand into the living room, where Nina had been waiting. Seeing the smiles that they were both wearing and sensing something beautiful had just happened she squealed, “I couldn’t be happier for you girls!”
Nina rushed to embrace them both!
The group hug lasted for a few minutes before they all began laughing uncontrollably! For Rikkie, and Lana too, it was a nervous laughter, as they both checked each other out. Only a crossdresser could truly appreciate what it takes to make a boy look that passable like a girl! Nina couldn’t help but grin widely as the two of them studied each other; noting each and every detail in the outfit and everything else head to toe!
Lana thought to herself That Rikkie is just gorgeous! Oh my god! She felt a strong connection to Rikkie and couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Rikkie sheepishly lowered her face, very much aware of Lana’s studying of her, and broke the spell with a softer version of her voice.
“I need to go help Nina dinner. Don’t go anywhere girl.” She giggled.
Rikkie moved fluidly about the apartment helping Nina get the dinner ready. She was very feminine and obviously comfortable with herself. Rikkie sat down on the couch and just watched. Many times Lana caught Rikkie staring back at her. Several times they found themselves locked into gazing at one another.
Nina sat down beside Lana and began to explain the surprise she had unleashed upon her tonight. Lana, numb and struck with a strong desire for Rikkie, let it slide and just nodded and assented that everything was ok as she kept turning her head and letting her eyes seek out their target.
Rikkie.
The kitchen was a whirl of femininity as the three of them talked and ate! Lana noticed that Rikkie liked to get up and move as much as Lana did!
During the course of the evening, Rikkie and Lana held hands and hugged several times. Nina, feeling a bit left out, exclaimed, “You girls are so cute together! I’m jealous! And Rikkie, you are showing so much leg." Lana let her gaze drift up and down those sensual smooth legs.
Rikkie was wearing her short skirt like nobody Lana had ever seen before, and at the same time, Lana felt that her legs were always the best part of her too.
Nina announced that she had to run to the corner store to get some more pop as they had finished dinner.
“Do you girls want to go with me to the store?”
Lana gulped. “No Thank you Nina. I’m not ready for that yet” Lana remembered the last time she had been out. “I’ll wait here if you don’t mind!"
“Me too.” Rikkie added.
As Nina left for the store, Rikkie surprised Lana with the comment, “I was hoping we would have some time alone together Lana. Come sit with me in the living room."
The two girls walked into the living room again as Lana wondered where that comment was going. They both sat down on the couch next to one another. Rikkie took Lana’s hand in hers as she stared at the floor as if searching for something. Lana noticed Rikkie choking back tears and the nervousness within her was apparent. Tears began to form as she found her voice.
“Lana I am so happy to finally meet you. You have no idea… none… how I had thought that a day like this would never come! I have been questioning if I’d ever know true happiness in my lifetime."
Looking deeper into Lana’s eyes she softly continued, “I can see that you are just like me. You enjoy feeling pretty just as much as I do! We are joined by what we feel when we dress. I can see that in you too."
Rikkie was right. Lana felt great. And in Rikkie she had found herself.
Rikkie continued, “I know that you’re feeling the same thing I’m feeling right now. I am so confused. On one hand, I want to grab you and hold onto you tightly, never letting you go! But I also know that my sister likes you as her boyfriend too. And I love her too with all my heart!"
“I just don’t know what to do.”
Lana was having a hard time with this as well. She fidgeted with her hands for a moment. Finally she turned herself to face Rikkie and Squeezed her hands, holding them.“I do. I do feel the same way that you do. I love your sister too, but, in a different way… and for different reasons. I love her for what she did in bringing me here tonight. To meet you.”
Lana smiled and added, “When I’m with her Rikkie, I do not feel like Joey, I feel like Lana. I do not want to hurt her either and… I don’t know what to do either.”
They embraced each other and hugged again. After a few moments Lana pulled back and said “Don’t cry Rikkie. Even though I’m scared inside, and I think you are too, this should be the happiest day of our lives. We found each other!”
Lana slowly wiped at Rikkie’s tears away, at first, and then felt a magnetic urge take her over. She leaned close and let her lips begin to kiss her tears away. Gentle kisses, that were meant to comfort, turned into something more as their passions for one another rose. They caressed each other while looking deeply in each other’s eyes. Lana could not stop herself, although she knew that this was not right. She had to have this experience! She had to know what this was like.
Lana pulled Rikkie nearer and searched in her eyes for any sign that it was ok to proceed further. Rikkie, with her tear brimmed eyes, slowly nodded.
Rikkie wanted to continue as badly and Lana did!
Their lips met gently at first, the taste of lipstick was exciting and fueled their passion. The kiss was deep and they melted into each other and became one. Their bodies entwined, touching and being touched! Both were feeling sensations that they had never felt before. At the same moment they both broke the kiss off, breathing heavily.
“Wow!” they whispered together.
Lana panted, “We had better stop right there. Your sister will be back any time now and you look a mess!"
Rikkie giggled that same precious way Lana had heard before. “You’re a mess too!”
They had both gone and freshened up in Rikkie’s room and had just returned to the kitchen table as Nina came through the door. Nina looked at the both of them before loudly exclaiming, “I see you girls got to know one another a little better while I was gone!"
Lana found a guilty heat rise within her face as she couldn’t respond to what was essentially true. Wait a minute! she thought. I don’t really feel any guilt. There is no shame in what we feel. There is no regret!
“I feel as if I have known your sister all my life Nina. We have a whole lot in common with each other."
Rikkie’s eyes said Thank you for not telling her!
The three girls then proceeded into the living room where they put on some music and started to dance.
Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 3
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On their runs together, Joey and Enrique talked about their feelings for each other and for Nina. Although they knew they felt a great deal for each other, they agreed they that they could not act on it and hurt Nina. They would have to find some way through it, but the solution escaped them both at the present.
“Nina is not the mother that gave birth to me, but she is the mother that raised me,” Rikkie confided.
Lana added, “She has been more than friend to me as well. I think of her as my own sister.”
Rikkie then ever so gently placed her fingers underneath of Lana’s chin and brought Lana’s eyes to attention to focus on her. Lana, enraptured with Rikkie, felt pangs of butterflies and a melting weakness within her stomach as Rikkie grinned and moved closer to her face until their lips just barely touched. With the warmth of Lana’s close breath on her, the welcomed tongue gently probing her lips, and the soft sensual contact of Rikkie’s lips to hers, Lana could not help it and succumbed to her girlfriend. Rikkie felt Lana quivering as she kissed her and pulled back to see why. Lana’s right leg visibly shook in a nervous fashion.
“Girlfriend, you are just soooo cute when you do that!” Rikkie wryly grinned even more.
Lana, who had opened her eyes to see why Rikkie had stopped, was clearly flush and somewhat breathless. She had just now comprehended what Rikkie had said and saw her looking down at her still shaking leg. Lana, embarrassed, and not quite knowing what to do, felt her eyes water as she watched her love interest smile back at her. And, in the fashion of why we sometimes do the silliest of things, Lana put her arms around Rikkie’s waist and pulled her back in for the something she just could not ever get enough of: Rikkie’s gentle kisses.
Lana just could not keep her eyes her eyes off of Rikkie. She was just so beautiful! Rikkie was a knockout teenage girl! She was her vision of the perfect female! When she moved, it always seemed to be to music that only she could hear. Her legs were long and lean and her skin was a wonderfully sexy mocha color. Her long black hair shined like it was always wet. Every night now, ever since they had first met, Rikkie’s face is the image that Joey dreamed of at night. His dreams varied, but they would always return to the image of her serene look and gorgeous eyes staring at her. Rikkie’s face would grow larger and larger as her face came closer to her in her vision of the dream. The warmth and closeness felt so real! And yet, the sensation of expecting her kiss and not feeling it, as she would always wake up at that part, frustrated Lana into wanting Rikkie ever more.
The mutual feeling of love between them was making life difficult for Joey and Nina. Joey was a good actor; he had been acting the part of a boy his entire life! But he could not hide the sinful delight he experienced whenever Enrique was within his eyesight. Unbeknownst to either of them, Nina was watching the pair in their moments together, as they approached one another, and as they parted each day. She saw what was happening and was staying quiet.
The girls had finally decided that it was time to go somewhere and have some fun together out of the apartment and out in public. The confidence in their appearance combined with the almost full time practice they had been working on while together had prepared them for their night out.
"I think that the best place for us to go to first was to a movie,” Nina proclaimed.
“It will be evening at the movies, and the theater will be dark, so after the test of getting into the theater we can relax and have fun together,” Rikkie whispered into Lana’s ear after pulling her aside. “We should get some sundresses and sandals for the night out. We can go shopping tomorrow for them.”
That Friday morning came, and Joey said to his mom “I have a babysitting job tonight, so I will be going straight there after baseball practice.” I hate lying to my Mom but it’s the only way my parents would allow me to be out late on a Friday night, Joey fumed in his thoughts. Joey prided himself on being good, but everything about his dual life as a girl had to stay shrouded in secrecy - at least from his mom and dad. They just would not understand!
After school, Joey hurriedly made his way over to Nina’s and was invited inside by Mrs. Lopez to wait for Enrique to arrive. When Enrique did come in, his face wrenched into the cutest smile of knowing that just tugged at Joey’s heart. This was going to be a first for the both of them! Shaving that is! Enrique and Rikkie both put their school bags in Enrique’s room, and Enrique then pulled a small canister and two colorful razors from his top dresser drawer.
“I just got these yesterday. This shaving gel,” Enrique explained, “is made specifically for women and is gentler and foams great. It will make shaving our armpits and legs much better. And the razors, too, are designed for women to use on their arms and legs.”
Joey beamed, “Let’s get started. Nina will be here soon.” Enrique made a big bug eyed expression that made Joey start laughing.
They both scooted into the bathroom and undressed in front of each other down to the girl’s panties they both now wore all the time. Enrique had Joey sit on the toilet lid while he sat down on the tub edge. Enrique popped the top off of the shaving gel and began to demonstrate to Joey how to shave.
“You just spray a dab of this gel on your finger and rub in the spot that we will shave. It foams and softens the skin as we rub it.”
Joey held the can under his nose and smelled the flowery scent from the top. It was Skintastic Lavendarâ„¢ scent. He then spread some under each arm pit and Enrique took a razor and showed him how to pull the blade gently across with the right pressure, Joey was surprised how little it took to remove the hair. Enrique let Joey do the other armpit.
“This is so cool! It feels kinda breezy under my arms now.”
Enrique said, “Well girl, it’s supposed to! Here I’ll do mine then show you how to do the legs.”
As Enrique reached to get the can of shaving gel, Joey, holding the can sideways, accidentally pushed the button on top and the can made a pop noise that startled them both. Some shaving gel had shot onto Enrique’s girlish chest and a dab was on the tip of his nose!
Enrique just stared at Joey.
Joey looked sheepishly down and blushed.
“Come here you!” Enrique stated as he pulled Joey to him. Joey slowly turned his face to look into Enrique’s eyes when he felt their chests meet. The bare softness of Enrique’s soft and curvy breasts (There was no other term he could think of, because they were girl’s breasts!) stirred Joey’s insides. Enrique then touched his nose to Joey’s and made a slow circular motion to make the dab of gel start to foam. As Joey instinctively giggled, Enrique tilted his head sideways and pushed in for the kiss. They embraced, remaining lip locked for several minutes. Joey's leg was shaking again and his foot tapping nervously on Enrique's. Enrique slowly opened his eyes and caught his breath.
“I love you Lana. I really do!”
A few moments later, after another kiss, a more subdued voice responded.
“I love you too.”
They had finally finished the shaving session having shaved each other’s legs instead of doing their own. Pretty daring for first timers and with no razor burns or nicks! Nina’s voice was heard further downstairs through the door. Enrique and Joey both hurriedly wrapped towels around themselves and Enrique peeked through the door to make sure the coast was clear. They dashed back into Enrique’s room and dressed in their new sundresses.
When they joined Nina in the living room, Lana noticed Nina giving her a glare from time to time but was too scared or unsure of what to say or do. Lana slipped back into her crush mode with Rikkie as the three were chattering with the drone of the TV in the background. The two sat close to each other on the couch with Nina sitting on the side sofa.
Lana could not keep her hands off of Rikkie’s legs, commenting “Your legs just feel so soft and smooth” and “This feels really great.” Lana could not help herself with the flattery. Lana had leaned in, resting her head on Rikkie’s shoulder and a gentle bump of Rikkie’s shoulder got her attention. She sat back up. The touching and way Lana was behaving with Rikkie wasn’t unnoticed by Nina either. Lana was not aware of what she had done or that Nina had seen her do it, but she was head over heels in love with Rikkie.
Mrs. Lopez fixed them a light dinner of chicken and rice and the tension seemed to have lessened between the three of them as they talked over dinner.
As they got ready to leave for the movie, they knew that risk was unavoidable. They would be going outside on a summer evening with neighborhood people everywhere. Kids would be playing in the street. Families would be sitting outside on their porches or front steps. And these would be people that they would know and might also know who they were!
“The sun will still be up, but we have no choice because” Joey said “I have to be home by 12:30 at the latest!”
The excitement of going outside along with the thrill of being dressed so cute was nothing short of overwhelming for both Lana and Rikkie! Lana swallowed hard and was the first out the door and she bounded down the front steps.
“Come on girls we don’t want to miss the bus” Nina squealed in delight. So out the door all three girls went, looking their best as teenage beauties!
Nina had put on a simple but pretty blue sundress that had a soft lace neck and sleeves. Rikkie’s was a yellow sundress with a plunging neckline that showed her developing breasts. Lana had a floral print sundress in pink and white that was too short for her to wear pantyhose with. Rikkie’s hair was up in a ponytail that bounced as she walked and Lana’s hair was, of course, a wig, but between Nina and Rikkie they had brought the back of it up off her neck and that kept her cool.
The three headed toward the bus stop one block away. The whole neighborhood noticed the three lovely girls, but no one had appeared to demonstrate that anything was out of sort. The confidence that both Rikkie and Lana were starting to feel was beginning to be dashed by fearfulness that the both of them felt the further away from their home they got.
Lana was the first to speak.
“I’m feel like I’m about to faint I feel so good”!
Nina added, “Well you both look good too! Just watch out for the boys trying to hit on you at the theater.”
“Yeah, that is something that escaped my mind.” Rikkie commented. “We’ll look out for each other.” Lana agreed.
They all laughed and talked as they sat down and waited for the bus. Lana crossed her legs and began to hum “I’m in heaven… da da da da, I’m in heaven” and she felt she was! While they waited at the bus stop, Lana smiled as she thought about her bare newly shaven legs, and that this was the first time that she had gone without hose or a girdle. It was just a pink bra and panties under the sun dress and nothing else!
The movie theater was not crowded at all. They all sat down in center seats a little closer to the front than midway of the seating rows. The movie they had chosen was a very emotional love story.
They sat with Lana between both Rikkie and Nina. Lana had no idea that Nina had wanted her to be anything but a girl, so holding her hand and the kissing that they might have done if it were Joey and Nina, boyfriend and girlfriend at the movies, did not occur. First mistake!
The second mistake occurred during the moment that the two movie screen lovers had said goodbye and all three girls were in tears. Lana had gently wiped Rikkie’s tears from her cheek and Rikkie took Lana’s hand and kissed it softly and lovingly with gratitude. Neither girl had thought much about their actions. It was all very natural.
“It’s just so beautiful,” Rikkie whispered.
Lana nodded and leaned in against Rikkie’s shoulder.
Nina was fuming!
When the movie had ended and the lights came on, Rikkie was still holding Lana’s hand. Nina huffily got up and began to leave quickly. As the two girls gathered themselves, Rikkie called out, “It’s okay Nina. I cried too.” But Nina didn’t respond and she kept walking toward the door.
The two girls hurried to catch up with Nina thinking that it must be late and that was the reason for her rush to leave. Nina slammed the door open to the theater with anger and that was the first sign to Lana and Rikkie that something was terribly wrong!
Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 4
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Lana still heard the slamming of the theater doors echoing inside her head. Nina had grabbed Rikkie and had dragged him away across the street to the bus stop a few blocks away. She could still hear Rikkie pleading with Nina and the “Why?” Nina was having none of that. With her looking back at a scared and lonely Lana, Rikkie’s eyes showed of fear, as she was actually weaker physically than Nina.
Lana watched them as they had reached the bus stop. She could barely make out in the street light near the stop that they were still arguing. Other patrons leaving the theater and entering it passed by her; Lana was oblivious to the world around her except for the scene playing out distantly in front of her. Nina had pulled Rikkie up into the bus and, moments later, with the huff and whine of the diesel engine, it rolled forward, onto its next stop.
Fear began to grip Lana’s insides. A fear she had never known before. She was in serious trouble. She had nowhere to change and did not have her boy clothes. Those were still over at Rikkie’s and Nina’s house. She had to get home soon too because she would be in additional trouble for being out so late as well. Lana just sighed and let her mind go blank.
The darkness of the night had allowed her to think her situation through some, but her body had begun to slowly move own its own accord while she replayed the day over in her mind. What had she done wrong? Why was Nina so upset? It sure looked like Nina did not want her to see Rikkie though!
She gradually became aware of the bus engine droning and glanced outside. She was almost home. With her choices few and being on her own, Lana pulled the stop cord four blocks before her stop and got off of the bus.
Lana shook her head just pondering all the imaginable scenarios: Lana could go home and just face the music. "Mom, ummm… this is who I am. This is what makes me happy. I AM LANA!” Mom would then hug her and tell her "everything will be okay.” Mom could freak out and scream, "Get out of those clothes immediately!!” Her father might be sitting in the living room, take one look at her and then leap off of the couch exclaiming, "What in the goddamn f**king hell is this?” And then duly proceed to beat the shit out of her!!!
Taking a deep breath, she accepted that she was going to be in deep trouble. These were to be the last enjoyable moments of her life. She knew she would just have to go home and face the music, no matter which way events turned, life as she once knew it was forever over!
Lana walked up to the payphone that was two blocks from her house and decided to use it and call her mom before entering the house and see who was home. But also, to prepare her mother for what she was about to experience. She reached the phone and picked up the receiver. As she began to dial her number, a voice called her name.
"Lana? May I talk to you?”
Lana turned to see Rikkie standing near her, her face red and her eyes even more raw from crying. That feeling of hopelessness lifted from Lana and she felt her love for Rikkie surge once more.
Rikkie looked down to the sidewalk as she said, “Nina sent me to find you and bring you home.”
Lana waited for Rikkie’s eyes to meet hers again.
“Rikkie…. What happened?”
Rikkie hesitated but then softly let it all come out.
“Nina is mad at us: you and me both. She says you are cheating on her by being with me. I-I-I d-don’t know what we are going to do. She threatened me with exposure and not being my sister if I didn’t stop seeing you. She did not say anything about you or what she would do if you didn’t stop seeing me, but I don’t know what she would do. You know how I feel about her. But I also feel for you too!!!”
Lana felt a stab go into her heart and her eyes began to water.
“You know Lana, maybe we did go too fast? Maybe we do need time to see if this is what we really want. I mean, if I go against Nina, I’m going to be suffering. And I really don't want to hurt or lose my sister. And….”
Lana watched tears roll down Rikkie’s face. An inescapable urge gripped her and forced her to step forward and embrace the person she loved most in the world. The two held onto each other crying softly under the streetlight above the payphone.
“I love you Rikkie! I do!”
“Lana, god, I love you also... “Lana connected her lips to Rikkie’s and stopped her response. The two opened their eyes as they kissed and held onto that kiss for all it was worth. They gingerly separated their lips and looked longingly into each other’s eyes.
Rikkie pulled back a little and wiped her eyes.
“As mad as Nina is, she would not let you get hurt by going home like this. She sent me to find you and bring you back to our house to change.”
Lana felt her throat stick and then gulped, “I'm not going to change. I'm going home just like this! Whatever happens, happens!”
Rikkie grabbed her hand and gave her a gentle tug back towards the Soto’s house. "Don't be silly Lana, no one will understand this! You will be ruining your life!”
Lana gave her a frown. “As if my life isn’t ruined already?”
The both of them walked a little further quietly. Lana knew that Rikkie was right, she knew that it made sense. It's just that ten minutes ago she had no options. Now there was one, except this option also entailed not being able to see Rikkie. Lana knew this was no time to be stubborn.
"You’re right. I have no choice do I?”
Rikkie squeezed Lana’s hand. “I would like to think of it as being not denying yourself a possible chance in the future. You never know how things will turn out. And who is to say sometime in the future that we can both be together again and things will have worked out by then?”
Lana leaned against Rikkie’s right shoulder as they slowly walked. Rikkie didn’t shirk away.
"She hates me doesn't she?”
“Nina had said that ‘the party was over’ and that Lana could not come over anymore. However, Joey could. But not right away.”
Lana's heart broke upon hearing that. She was Lana, not Joey. Joey was something of the past and something she could no longer be…something that needed to be buried. But the words which Rikkie had said that seemed to make the decision for her, was “…But not right away.”
Lana felt numb. Her heart longed for Rikkie. The finality of this was starting to seep in and affect her.
Lana looked over at Rikkie and asked, "Are you okay Rikkie?”
"I think so,” she sighed. “I still have my sister. She is the one who brought me out into the open and free myself. She has always been there for me and I never once had to ask her. You know I couldn't live without her!"
Lana sniped back, “But you can live without me?"
Rikkie stopped and spun Lana to face her.
"Look! You mean the world to me Lana! Don’t you ever forget that! But my sister in the most important person in the world to me right now! My situation isn’t good at the moment and until things change, that’s just the way it has to be for right now!!”
Rikkie paused and watched Lana. Lana’s face was frozen.
“Both of us are upset,” Rikkie said more softly, “And we do love each other. I’m going to be there for you, like my sister has been for me. It’s just gonna take some time and I’ll see how to work it out later. I do ache for you Lana. I do.”
Her words had left Lana with the hope that someday they could all be friends again. Someday. But some time would have to pass before that could happen. Lana accepted that things had drastically changed and that she would have to cope, not matter how much she hurt. She was very pleased with her admittance to being a female and coming out, but things really had gone too far, too fast.
She was still, for the time being, Joey Martinez, a teenage boy, physically. She had been lucky that things turned out as they had. As of this moment, she had not been hurt beyond repair! She had a way out of this situation.
Lana would have to go into hiding again and Joey Martinez would have to emerge to run this show.
Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 5
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Joey had been having nightmares for the past week of being chased by various strange things and then odd one or two of them where he had been alone in the dreams. In all of them, he was Lana.
This last dream, the one that had him waking up this morning all warm and fuzzy, was one in which he, no... She had found herself in the arms of another girl. This other girl's eyes were dark brown pools of vivid warmth pulling Lana closer to her. The girl's lips smiled and were invitingly soft and gently moving. For some reason, Lana could not focus on the girl's face. She couldn't recognize her. But, the girl's eyes closed and Lana felt her mouth contact the other girls and their lips slowly parted and the wonderful sensation of the kiss began.
Lana turned her head sideways to allow more room to press the kiss in. Their tongues touched and slid by each other, dancing inside their mouths. Their breasts touched through their clothing and pushed together causing Lana to feel something strange altogether that was purely female in nature - something primal and strangely wonderful: the sensation of two girls bodies together!
Lana felt a flushness of heat rise in her face as she felt safe in the enjoyment of this girl that pulled her close and hung onto her with want. Lana's senses were buzzing and a dizziness within her ensued. The other girl's lips gently sucked and nibbled her own.
"Wake up Joey! You are running late for school this morning!"
Joey's eye's blinked rapidly. The sound of his mother's voice and his door parted open broke the dream. Even as his mother retreated down the hallway on the carpet, the sensations of that mystery girl's lips upon his were still there. His t-shirt was soaked with sweat over his chest! The heat of feeling her body against his still lingered.
"Whoa!" Joey thought, "That was weird!" He realized several things as he wiped the hair from his face. One was that his thoughts of himself were in the feminine. He knew somehow his brain had already accepted and begun replacing his references to himself as a she. That it was natural and felt right. He could no longer deny that internally he was no longer the boy he used to be.
Secondly, ever since the past two weeks when Nina had put a stop to their relationship and Enrique was no longer allowed near him, these dreams had begun to haunt him. This dream was the most intense one yet! It had also awoken something within him that was new. He felt like his pretend veneer of trying to show himself as a boy had been stripped away and Lana was all girl now! There was nothing male within her at all! The sense of being right, being herself, and being a girl flooded his brain as he sat on the edge of the bed staring at the starting dawn through his window.
Thirdly, as he pulled the covers off and sat on the edge of the bed wiping the sleep from his eyes, he knew inside that the girl he was kissing was Rikkie. He could never clearly see the face and could not identify the girl, but he felt sure it was her. The smell of Rikkie's skin, the lightly scented perfume she wore was present in the dream as he kissed the girl.
Joey grimaced as he stood up and stretched. "I hate this! I wish I could see Rikkie now!" He angrily thought. He then went to his door and listened for movement. Hearing nothing, he went to his closet and pulled out his small Ziploc stash of vanity things he was using every morning in the bathroom.
Joey had begun buying things for him to begin building up a girlish look. He had bought a nail grooming kit for girls along with some press-on nails he wore when his mom wasn't there. He had also gotten some Bic Solielâ„¢ razors and some Skintasticâ„¢ shaving gel. He was spending extra time each morning checking and filing his nails to keep them nice and round and letting them grow out. The urge to bite or chew his nails had long since left him weeks ago.
He then rushed into the bathroom and took his shower. He had begun to use his mother's hair conditioner and letting it set in while he cleaned the rest of himself off and shaved under his arms and just as religiously shaved his legs. The cool breezy feel after the shower was a sensation he enjoyed. Smooth bare legs! He loved running his fingers along them!
This morning, Joey had rushed through the shower but meticulously blew his hair dry with his mom's hair dryer. He had finished combing his hair forward and out and realized he had let it grow really longer than he had ever had it before. The forward portion of his hair was hanging down to the tip of his nose effectively covering his eyes. The rest of it had gone down slightly below his shoulder. He stared at the person in the mirror and smiled as he parted his hair with his hand and pulled it to one side. A girl smiled back at him, her clear, and blemish free skin shone back with an award winning smile that Joey had seen on many television commercials. Her cheeks gave her an aura of cuteness that bespoke of innocence. That cute girl was him!
Joey pulled his fluffed silky hair back and tied it into the low ponytail he had been doing for the past two weeks to hide the girl look he was creating from everyone else around him. Lana smirked one last time in the mirror as she held the towel around herself covering herself from her chest down to her groin and she dashed back to her room.
Joey came down and grabbed his backpack as he slung it over his shoulder.
"You know you have been slacking off some on your chores around here lately," Joey's mother said to him from the kitchen.
Joey grimaced. "I know mom. I will do them when I come home tonight and make it up to you. I have had...well, a lot to think about for awhile."
His mother stood in the kitchen doorway looking at him.
"We need to also do something about your hair too. It's way too long for you."
Joey tensed as he heard those words. "No way Jose! This girl is keeping her hair!" he thought.
"Ummm... I sort of like it this length now mom. I'm keeping it cleaned daily."
His mother looked him over somewhat closer and then finished, "Well, when you condition your hair, use conditioner only every other day. Not every day. It's bad for the hair. Plus, you will use all my conditioner up! Talk to me about why you have been moping around the house for all this time when you come home from school tonight."
"Ok mom. I will."
She stared at her son as he walked out the door noticing there was something different about him, but she couldn't pin it down to anything yet.
As he walked towards school, he noticed Nina seemed to have lingered a little late as well and was just ahead of him on the sidewalk. She had turned around and saw him a little ways behind her and stopped walking. She was waiting for him.
"Here it goes...” he thought as he felt a nervousness rise within him as he approached her on the sidewalk.
"Joey. I'd like to talk to you."
Joey stopped and averted his eyes from hers looking to her side and down at the ground.
"Ok," he paused, waiting to hear something even more badly from her than what she had told him weeks ago.
"I have been thinking about things and have decided to change what I had said to you before. Come on, let's keep walking. We are almost late for school."
They started walking together and Nina continued, "Anyways, from what I have seen, you are a girl. Let me finish this before you say anything. I know you are a girl Joey, you are Lana. It was nice before, when you were a boy and had these girlish like tendencies you hid. I could feel that. But you have changed. It's like I created a monster. Well, in your case, I let the girl out."
"You were what I wanted in a boyfriend. However, since you are now a girl, and I don't date girls, you and I can never be a couple."
Joey slightly dry choked as he heard the damning words being said.
"Now with Enrique, he is my sister Rikkie. I'm teaching her how to be the girl she is going to be. Eventually, he will grow to be a woman. He will need some sort of surgery later which my mom will help him out with and explained to us both when he came out to us. Both my mom and me support and love her very much. And you got too close to her too fast. Both of you are too young and do not realize the danger you are in. Rikkie does now, but you don't!"
The school was just up ahead. They both stopped at the street and continued talking as they paused for a break in traffic.
"So, what I have decided, if you are a girl, I'll let you be my sister too and teach you what I have been taught and taught Rikkie."
In a lower tone she leaned in closer to him. "Are you really a girl?"
Joey, standing quietly beside Nina, just barely nodded.
"Ok. Then I'll take you back in as my sister and you are no longer my boyfriend."
The coast was clear and they shuffled across the street. Joey felt a sense of unrealness, like everything was sort of different or fake, like in a play, as they crossed the street. The reality what was happening was a bit much, but it seemed a lot better than what he woke up to.
"As for seeing Rikkie, if she wants to see you, it will have to be done with either me or my mother at our house. Until you are taught how to be a girl and behave, it's really too dangerous to leave you two alone."
Joey swallowed.
"One last thing, I know you already know this, and I cannot say this strong enough - Do not tell anyone else about yourself. People react differently to people like you and Rikkie and it mostly turns out ugly. They do not understand. So keep quiet. Don’t talk to other kids or teachers about it. We will show you the information my mother has on Rikkie's and yours condition." Nina paused.
"Joey, will you be free this afternoon?"
Joey looked up into her eyes. "I can't tonight. My mom has me doing chores around the house. I'll ask her if I can be free tomorrow night."
Nina smiled. "Great. Call me tonight when you find out."
The two parted in the hallway to their separate homerooms.
After school, basketball practice was very hard on him for some reason. The coach had been a little hard on him for failing to complete passes and his muscles and coordination seemed more off than they had been in the past. Greg Sauls, the team captain, commented that his passes were short and underpowered. Even Joey's pacing and dribbling had been a bit effimate in a way that had others wondering about him. The coach told Joey as he was leaving for home to shape up or he would be replaced!
Joey had made his mind up earlier during practice that he was going to have to drop out. Lana couldn't function well in a team of boys if she was hiding and taking a beating. Sadly, she would have to find another hobby or sport to take up. Lana was disappointed about this but realized that there were a lot of things on her horizon coming. Changes. Things were going to be different.
Joey had come home and began helping his mother in the kitchen with their dinner. They were cooking meatloaf and some steamed vegetables with rice. Joey's father came in and they sat down to dinner. During the course of eating, a strand of Joey's hair had slipped from his ponytail and dragged into the ketchup on his meatloaf.
"Son, I want you to get a haircut tomorrow. That hair's unbecoming of a boy," Joey's father tersely said as he continued eating.
Joey's mother added, "I already talked to him about that dear. We are doing that tomorrow."
"Good! I want to see my son back! And Joey, cut the back yard after dinner and get the trash to the curb too. Tomorrow's trash collection."
"Ok Dad." Joey squirmed inside as he wiped the ketchup off the strand and put it back behind his ear. His father was going to be a problem. He had to figure out a way to keep his hair!
Joey quietly helped his mother clean up the kitchen after they had finished eating. While Joey was in the their small fenced in backyard cutting the lawn with his father's old push mower, Joey's mom yelled out
the back patio door. "Telephone Joey!"
He shut off the mower, and dashed inside. Picking up the receiver, he asked, "Hello?"
A smooth and familiar girl's voice spoke. "Hey Girlfriend! Long time no see!"
It was Rikkie!
"Nina wanted to know when you could come over for a family powwow. She said you would call tonight."
Lana's face lit up in smile. "Yeah, my father has me doing the backyard at the moment. Hey, hang on a second and let me ask my mom."
Joey set the receiver down and dashed upstairs to his parent's bedroom and saw his mother hanging her laundry up on hangers.
"Mom? Can I go over to the Lopez's tomorrow?"
Joey's mom answered him while she hung up a shirt, "We are going to have to take you for your haircut first. I'll drop you off afterwards. Just make sure to get your homework done while you are over there and be home by 9pm."
Lana beamed back "Thanks mom! You're the greatest!"
Joey's mom did a double take as she watched her son skip rather gaily from the room and then dash back downstairs.
Rikkie heard the clackering sound of the receiver on Joey's end being picked back up again.
"Rikkie?"
Rikkie grinned. "I'm here sweety."
"It's a go! I can be there tomorrow after..."
Rikkie heard Lana go silent. "Lana?"
"Ummm. Yeah. I have a problem. Hold tight a second."
Joey peered around the corner into the den. His father was busy watching a sport on television. The noise level seemed to be sufficient. Joey pushed the phone receiver closer to his mouth and in a more hushed tone spoke.
"I'm supposed to go get my hair cut tomorrow! I have got to find a way to keep it! I don’t like it short anymore. My father is forcing me too."
Rikkie heard the familiar whine in Lana's voice begging her to help her. She set her mind in motion and came up with an idea.
"Did he say how short?"
Joey lingered. "No. He said he wanted '...his son back..."
"Which barber shop does he normally take you to?"
"The one at the Valley Heights square."
Rikkie's sexy drawl came back. "Well Girlfriend! You are in luck! There is a Salon in the strip right across from the barber shop that can do your hair in a trim more the way you like it. It’s called Kelly’s Salon."
Lana's eyes widened. "A salon? I have never been in one before. That's for girls though..."
"And?...." Rikkie questioned back.
"Well, do they... they don't do boys though... do they?"
"If you can get there alone, ask for Carol. She is the hairdresser that does my hair. And I wear it in a pull under ponytail during school. She knows about me. She keeps it secret too. Tell her I sent you."
"Ok. I'll figure out how to do it tonight. I can't go back to short hair."
"I understand completely girl!"
"Oh, also, I’m thinking about dropping basketball."
Rikkie, surprised, pressed, "Why?"
"I’m having trouble, well, coordinating the ball. Something has changed in me and it's like it's really hard to do. The jabbing I took today from the team and coach was uncalled for and I don’t think I’m gonna be able to keep it up and have semi long nails too."
Rikkie giggled. "I don't think your father is going to like that one bit either."
"Yeah. I know. I'm going to have to find something else to do and hide it for as long as I can."
"We'll think of something sweety. Hey Great! Looking forward to seeing you again. I did miss you," Rikkie gushed out on the phone.
Joey, taken aback slightly, ventured, "Rikkie... I have been wanting to ask you... ummm... Do you want to see me?"
The smooth voice slinked back, "Well, if I didn't miss you, I guess I wouldn't. What do you think?"
Joey's right foot trembled.
"Yes... I want to see you." Rikkie has spelled it out for him. "Nina did tell you we can't be alone."
Joey dejectedly responded, "Yeah. I know."
"But we will have a lot of fun! The best things in life are worth waiting for! So cheer up! Ok? See you tomorrow Lana."
"Nite," Joey smiled. He distinctively heard a small puckered kiss before the dial tone came back on as he hung the receiver up. A sensation of love just fired Joey's insides back up as that feeling of love filled his entire being.
"Wow!"Lana dreamily thought as she walked through the den, past her father, and out to the backyard to finish cutting the grass.
Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 6
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In Reiner’s mind, it all suddenly made sense: The quirkiness Joey had always had in his moves, his behavior, all of it! And yet, nothing physically changed about the person. All Joey had done was release his hair, and then, this new person appeared! — this person hiding in the guise of his teammate Joey! |
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| Rikkie/Enrique Lopez | Lana/Joey Martinez |
With the yard done, Joey went upstairs and proceeded to luxuriate in the bathtub. The hot lilac scented bath water from his mother’s bath oil beads and the soapiness of the bubble bath mixture he had bought, created a soothing relaxed sensation that overwhelmed his senses. Lana smiled and closed her eyes as she began to daydream about her situation.
School: What to do about basketball? Should I quit or not? How to hide dropping out from it from Mama and Dad? Lana knew her father lived through her vicariously in the form of Joey. Roberto Martinez was never the athlete that she, as Joey, had become. Because her father had gotten his girlfriend Julia, Joey’s mother, pregnant at such an early age, he had to work constantly to provide the house and living standards for his family. Hence, he never gotten to play any ball in high school, which he had yearned to. That was why he pushed her so hard to excel in sports.
Haircut: Oh gosh! That’s a tough one! I am definitely NOT getting it cut shorter than it currently is! But how to hide this from her father? “Beto” as was an old school father that controlled everything that Julia would allow him to anyways. What cut would be suitable for herself and also pass her Father’s scrutiny? Lana finally reached the conclusion that whatever she was going to do, she would have to get her Mother’s approval. That would be the key to winning over her Father.
Lana grimaced and sighed as she adjusted herself to sink lower into the water, bringing it up to her chin. “Mama is the key,” she softly spoke.
There is also the meeting tomorrow with Mrs. Lopez, Nina, and Rikkie. They were going to discuss with her how they were helping Enrique become Rikkie in order to educate Lana about herself and the path ahead. That was a big problem! Lana knew she had to do something similar, or at least plan for it, so that she could stay as Lana forever. Coming from a traditional Mexican family she knew that this was going to take some sort of divine intervention!
Lana smiled as she readjusted herself to sit up in the tub more. She ran her hands along her arms under the water as she enjoyed the thought of being, physically, the girl she knew she was.
Being beautiful, wanted…
While Joey was ok, Lana — she just felt more alive, more in touch with herself, her feelings… a lot of it was just indescribably delicious! However, the most convincing argument to herself, that made further resistance to the idea of becoming Lana pointless, was that throughout her life as Joey, he had felt wrong within his own skin. It was a feeling he could not put his finger on, not knowing exactly why he felt that way, or even why he didn’t feel all that comfortable around other boys. He just knew that he wasn’t right and was trying to keep up an image of being a boy around others, in school and in front of his family. He didn’t want to disappoint either his Mother or his Father and he wanted them to be proud of him - especially his Father!
Having spent most of the summer living as Lana, it became painfully clear that Lana was never going to go away. The boy facade was slowly crumbling away from her. She was having difficulty trying to reconcile the difference between the life she had lived as Joey and the person that she wanted to become as Lana.
Her urges, her desires, the direction she wanted her life to go in…
She lifted one of her smooth and hairless legs out of the bath water and opened her eyes to admire how it looked. She then ran her hands slowly up and down her toned calf and let it finally rest on her upper thigh as she pulled her other leg up beside it. Her legs were so beautifully feminine.
Her family however, couldn’t understand… they wouldn’t…
Lana grimaced and then closed her eyes to allow herself to sink back down into the water.
Lana’s thoughts drifted to boys. Blecch! It’s why I’m a loner. I’m a boy, well… sort of. The pressure I’m under when I’m around them just ties my stomach into knots! I have to keep pretending to be something I know I’m not! Being in the locker room with all those boys was very worrisome for Lana. She didn’t mind as much when she had been Joey. Of course then, she had been teased about how her body frame looked, but otherwise, the look she had maintained for herself as Joey and her reputation in basketball pretty much kept her kept her reasonably safe from major bullying or harassment. And the sight of naked boys… EWWWWWW! She showered and changed before class, or after most of them had left, trying to maintain some sort of privacy. She knew she had never liked boys much anyways, but she wondered about how she would feel about them as she developed more physically into a girl - about seeing them naked!
Would I become interested in them instead of girls like I do now?
I don’t feel pressured when I’m around girls. Yet I like being around them because I don’t have to pretend to be what I have to around the boys. I can be me! It’s so much different from talking to boys. I know I was a loner, even with girls, up until last year. But when I was accepted into Nina’s group of friends, the other girls seemed to accept me as one of them as well. I’m hiding right in front of them, and still, they accepted me!
Being Lana just felt right!
A loud rapping on the bathroom door scared Lana awake and caused her to splash the water as she gripped the sides of the tub.
“Joey? You didn’t fall asleep in there did you?” came his mother Julia’s voice.
Lana wiped the bubbles from her eyes and wearily responded, “Yes Mama. I’m almost done.”
Lana quickly rinsed off and drained the tub. She had to rinse away all traces of the bubble bath from the tub. Boys did not take bubble baths in the Martinez household!
Lana then dried herself off and several times patted her hair down and framed her face with the semi wet hair while looking at herself in the bathroom wall mirror.
A girl!
She pulled her hair back flat so that she appeared to have very little hair at all. Still, Lana saw a girl staring back at her in the mirror! That’s weird! Lana thought. I haven’t done anything and yet I see a girl when I see me. I’m not imagining it. Even with my hair pulled back flat I still see a girl! Has anyone else noticed this?
Probably.
She was quite certain her sister Leigh had. She must have! Leigh! Leigh was two years younger than Joey and had always been close to him. Until the start of this summer, before Nina had come along, the two of them had always played basketball together. Leigh must have known that she, as Joey, had played like a girl!
Lana remembered all the teasing she had endured for years and it came back fresh in snippets. She had gotten the occasional shove or trip from other boys and was called a sissy, because Joey hadn’t developed the way other boys did. He had remained his 5’ 5” self and did not develop hair growth like other boys had on the face, neck and the other parts of their bodies. Even their voices were deeper than his - it had never changed! Maybe those boys saw Lana in me even before I did?
Wow!
Lana turned back and forth in front of the mirror, scrutinizing her physique. While not as girlish in curves as most of the girls she saw in school, her own body, while wiry and lithe, did not seem too far from it. Her rib cage sat higher up on her spine, leaving a noticeable stomach that drew in, producing an hourglass shape somewhat like other girls. The only thing that kept her waist from pulling in more to complete that figure was her taut stomach muscles - a product of her exercising and basketball practice. She also knew that her ability to twist around more easily and bend was the one advantage that she had over others in basketball! She was quick, light and that allowed her to jump higher and run faster than others.
Her neck was also longer than a few years ago and not as thick as other boys. It seemed rather graceful and more delicate, more like a girl’s. Her face was also very delicate too — not rugged as a boy’s should be. Her skin was also softer than she remembered it being than the way it was a few years ago. She knew she had changed some and had been ignoring it. Rikkie had seen her and thought nothing of it. Nina saw it in her and that was why she introduced to her brother/sister.
Outside of those two, no one really noticed, either. Not even her! Until now…
Joey had dried off and had dressed in jeans and a tank top. As he opened the bathroom door, Leigh was standing there in her gown, smiling.
“Hey bro! About time you finished!”
Joey started to blush a little. Leigh then bent closer to him and sniffed a little. Her look was rather surprised.
“That smells like Mama’s bath oil beads! Have you taken a liking to them?”
Joey frantically hissed a ssssh! “Yes I tried it out, but don’t tell Mama and especially not Dad!”
Leigh looked him up and down. “Well, if you are going to use them, may I suggest we buy you some bath beads of your own? If Mama notices hers missing, she will ask.”
“Well, that was something I was trying to decide if I liked or not.”
Leigh smiled. “Well?”
“Huh?” Joey questioned.
“Duh. Do you like bath oil in your bath?”
Joey gave her a wry smile as he passed her on his way to his room.
“You do!” Leigh giggled and went in for her bath.
Joey was sitting down, working on his homework when he felt some fingers on his shoulders.
“What’s up?” came a familiar giggling voice.
“Hey Sis. Doing my physics homework.”
Leigh sat down on the edge of Joey’s bed beside him and continued to watch him as he resumed working on the problems. She was back in her nightgown and her hair was wrapped in a towel.
“Joey, I heard Mama mention she was taking you to get your hair cut tomorrow?”
Joey paused. “Yeah. I kinda have to. Dad finally noticed my hair.”
Leigh sort of admired her brother’s hair. It was a little below the shoulders, and sort of thick and lustrous with the way he had been maintaining it. It was as good as hers. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair. Joey leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.
“I don’t want to cut it. But I have to.”
Leigh pondered at that. “Have you thought of a way around it?”
“Mmmm. Sort of. Well, Enrique did. He suggested that I go to the hair salon across from the Barber Shop at the shopping center.”
Leigh grinned. “Really? You are going to go into a salon for women and get it cut?”
Joey turned his head to the left facing Leigh and replied, “Trimmed and styled.”
“Serious?”
“You bet. I may have to reduce its length some, but I’ll do a popular style that fits me that I have seen a lot of others wearing. I just hope Dad doesn’t come down on me hard over it. I really like my hair long.”
Leigh bit her lip. “Well you do look cute in long hair.”
Joey reached back to tickle her leg. Leigh squirmed out of his reach.
“Anyways,” she continued, ”Can you help me with my homework some when you are done? I need help with math. It’s only 6 problems that I’m stuck on.”
“Sure thing Sis!”
Leigh leaned over and hugged him from behind. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re the bestest Brother in the entire world?”
Joey grinned and held her arms against his chest. “I think so.”
“Good!” she kissed him quickly on the top of his head. “This Saturday I’ll be free in the morning and afternoon. We can spar with the ball some too if you want to? That is if you have nothing planned with Nina?”
“I think that would great. Nah. Nina and I, well, we’re not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend anymore.”
That caught Leigh’s attention. “What? Tell me what happened.”
“You have to promise not tell anyone, not even Mama or Dad?”
Leigh put her hand over her heart. “Joey, not a peep!”
Joey knew that he could trust her. She had always kept her word to him. After a moment of thinking, he replied, “Well, it’s just that Nina and I see things different from each other and we just don’t really mesh together. I think it is more or less my fault because I don’t really think she is my type. But we are still friends.”
What he had just said was not a lie, but he couldn't exactly elaborate on it either.
He looked back down at his desk. “But her brother Enrique is really cool. I’m just sort of hanging around him until I have better luck with finding another girl. If one could just… well…”
“One will come along Joey. There are plenty of girls around. I’m sure you will find one that likes you.”
Lana mentally pictured Rikkie in her arms hugging her to her bosom. “Yeahhhh, possibly.” The powerful emotions that Lana felt for Rikkie suddenly flooded her mind as she visualized kissing Rikkie even more and feeling her tongue caress Rikkie’s exquisitely smooth and gentle skin. Rikkie’s perfume lingered in the air as she…
Joey snapped back to reality staring at his homework. He turned around to see that Leigh was no longer in his room and that the door was shut.
Joey had gotten around to finishing his homework much later than normal, in part because he had gone to help Leigh with her homework first and was now failing to concentrate fully on his.
Lana nervously tapped her nails on the desk. She looked down at her hand and stopped. She realized right then that she would still have to hide, possibly all the way until she reached 18. She knew that her father, while loving his son, would beat her senseless if he found out his son was a sissy! He would not accept knowing, that instead of a son, he in all actuality had another daughter. He would not accept that at all! He was a devout Catholic, and she knew the teachings of the church that they attended. She heard the words from their Priest about those who are different — that they are sinners in God’s eye! Her father followed that scripture and subscribed to those beliefs. While she did not truly know how her Mother felt about it, she sensed that she might not react the same way. To expose herself while under her Father's roof would be a disaster!
Maybe Leigh could help? Could Leigh, who was “Daddy’s little girl,” possibly comfort her hurting brother and maybe accept and come to know her sister Lana?
Lana had been so intent of thought that she didn’t hear her Mother came into the room and sit down on the edge of his bed.
“Joey, come sit with me.”
Lana felt a twinge of fear shoot down her spine as she heard her Mother’s voice and stood up from her desk and went over to sit down beside her.
“Something about you has changed. I know you had been feeling down in the dumps for some time too. Is it because of Nina?”
Lana quickly thought about what she should say. She wanted so badly to tell her about Lana, not to mention Rikkie, but now wasn’t the time. She needed to know more about what to do before exposing herself finally. Also, in truth, Nina really was part of what had been going on.
Lana cleared her throat and offered, “We had a disagreement Mama. There are still some things we are working out.”
Julia smiled. “Well son, that’s all part of growing up and developing a relationship with others. I know you were depressed and slept a lot more in the last two weeks too. It hurts me to see you like that.”
She pulled Joey into a motherly hug. Lana closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of being held by her Mama.
“You are always my baby boy and I want you to know that you make your Father and me proud of you.”
She held Joey’s hand up above her lap noticing his nails and the softness of his hands.
“If something is bothering you, you can always come to me. Your Mama knows when you are troubled and she wants you to know that she is always open to listen to you. She might even be able to help.”
Lana felt shame and hurt within her at those words. “I know Mama. It’s just there are some things bothering me that I’m not ready to talk about yet until I find out more.”
Julia pulled her son’s chin up some so she could look into his eyes.
“I promise Mama. I will tell you when I know.”
She hugged her child again. “I love you.”
As Julia stood up, she noticed the barest hint of lacey blue underwear showing from the top of his jeans and wondered.
Joey’s next day at school did not go well.
Just before homeroom, Bobby Owens and his “gang,” Roger and Paul, walked up to him while he had his locker open, putting his things in. Bobby then jabbed his elbow into Joey’s side and kept walking on by. The three were laughing.
Lana felt the punch to her right side and the wind was knocked from her. She fought the pain emanating from the spot and waited a moment for the stars to clear from her vision. She paid no attention to her books and jacket on the floor and instead turned to see the backs of the laughing trio going down the hall.
Lana clenched her fists and started walking briskly down the hall after them.
“Did you see the wimp’s eyes as I hit him? Boo-hoo-hoo!” Bobby started laughing more.
Paul had an idea. “Maybe you should hit him more often and try get money from him!”
“You know… I might!”
Bobby suddenly lurched forward and slammed into the lockers to their left.
Joey passed right between them and was assaulting Bobby’s side with some blows. Bobby then scrambled up and shoved Joey up against the lockers and had both hands on Joey’s neck.
“You think you got balls now wimp? Hmmm?” Bobby said loudly as he squeezed Joey’s neck causing his face to turn a shade of red.
“I’m not going to take any more abuse from you Bobby,” Joey squeaked out,” I have had it!”
Bobby laughed and threw Joey to the floor. “I haven’t even begun yet wimp! You touch me again you’ll be in the hospital for a long long time!”
Lana felt her eyes begin to water as she saw other students looking on at her - having been humiliated in front of them. And she had done nothing wrong! Lana, deciding not to continue the fight, struggled to stand. She saw the trio continue walking down the hall turning back a few times to see if she would try and fight them again. Their laughter continued to echo in the hallway as the other students started to go back to getting to their rooms. She knew that the gossip of this was going to spread around school fast. Damn!
Lana went back to her locker and bent down to pick up her jacket when a hand grabbed hers causing her to pause.
“Allow me.”
A boy taller than her picked up her jacket and books and held them before her. Lana just realized who this was — Reiner König from her basketball team. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes and stood a good deal taller than her. She saw him loosely smiling at her.
“Ummm.” She held her head down as she wiped her eyes.
“Joey. It’s ok. I saw what they did and I’m going to take care of it.” Reiner spoke with his European accent.
Lana gratefully accepted his jacket and hung it up. “I can take care of myself hermano.”
Reiner handed her the books. “Look. We’re a team. We won’t score if you’re beaten up. Coach will be furious if we let that happen. We look out for each other.”
Lana paused staring at the locker.
“Tell you what, at lunch, come over to the fourth table on the left side of the cafeteria and sit with me.”
Lana looked at Reiner in confusion.
Reiner then chuckled. “It’s alright. I want to talk with you. I see you on the team and you play with fire. In the halls and outside school I see you depress. Tell me at lunch, please.”
She half-smiled and stared up at Reiner with reddened eyes.
“Don’t let this spoil your day. I don’t think any less of you because of this. No one can be expected to stand against three alone. And you are mein Freund.”
“Gracias Reiner. I appreciate it.” Lana played back with a little of her language on him.
Reiner patted Lana’s back gently and walked with her down the hall until she stopped at the door to her homeroom.
Reiner added, “You just watch your back until lunch and avoid them. I’ll take care of them after school or if I see them near you in between. I promise you.”
Amidst the chatter in the room behind her, she looked down at the floor and more softly replied, “Gracias.”
The rest of the morning went by with Joey enduring the stares of some of his classmates in each room as they smiled and some mention was made of Bobby’s name. Even the girls looked at him, smiling and turning away. Joey’s insides burned! He was angry! His vision was on the edge of tears!
Shame… Humiliation…
As the bell rang for lunch period, Joey stayed in his seat as the other students stood up and went to their lockers before heading to the cafeteria. He again thought of what he was getting into by becoming himself. It’s worth it! Every bit of it! To be me! I just wish… wish it didn’t have to hurt so much. Joey sighed and sullenly arose to leave the room. He pulled back the hair that was hanging in front of his face, that had slipped from the pull of his low ponytail, and tucked the strands back underneath the hair that was still being held by his hair tie. Joey wiped the water that had somehow gotten at the bottom of his eyelids. Sniffling, he walked out into the hallway and back to his locker.
Joey put his books back inside the locker and shut the door, check to make sure it was locked. Rikkie would be in the cafeteria, but he really didn’t feel like being next to the one he loved right now. He knew that he would melt into a ball of tears within Rikkie’s arms and suffer even more humiliation than he was receiving now. He would save the intimacy for later tonight. Right now, he needed to eat and think.
Joey was one of the last students through the cafeteria and grabbed his lunch of Salisbury steak, green beans, corn and a small salad with dressing. He quickly handed the cashier the money for his lunch and received his change.
“There you go dear.” the woman spoke, attempting to cheer Joey up with a smile. “I’m sure the rest of your day will go better sweety.”
Joey, his eyes weary, feigned a half hearted smile and replied, “Thank you. I certainly hope so.”
He looked out among the sea of students in the cafeteria and remembered Reiner said the fourth table. He looked to his right, which would have been the left coming into the cafeteria, but he could not see him. Joey started walking down the middle aisle, gazing more intently on spotting his teammate. Failing to spot him, he turned around and saw an empty table spot on the same side, closer to the service line.
He started to walk back over to the spot he had seen when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“Joey? Right here.”
Joey turned and saw Reiner smile. Reiner led his to the empty spot across from his tray at the table. Nervous, Joey sat and waited for Reiner to sit across from his. Reiner sat and started into another bite.
“Ok Freund. So what is with all of this depress I see you with?”
Joey, not sure what to say, looked at the boy and studied his face. He watched him chewing his bite and then Reiner looked back at him. Reiner’s eyes seemed to smile with a genuine warmth that was slowly pulling at his insides, lulling his to reveal his hidden turmoil.
“Ummm. It’s like this.” Joey paused.
Reiner patiently waited a couple of minutes as he took a few more bites.
“Damn!” Joey cursed. “Ok. Here it is. How do you feel about girls?’
Reiner chuckled. “Girls! They are great to be with! Date them. Marry them. Be with them. It’s all good.”
Joey tried again. “How about them doing things? Like say, maybe, the same positions in jobs and activities as men?”
“That would depend. If she wanted to and could… then why not?”
“Ok, Reiner. Can I trust you?”
Reiner stopped chewing and focused on Joey. “Yes. I can keep secrets. If I’m your Freund, I do.”
Joey stood up, having not touched a bite on his tray.
“Reiner, just come with me. Right now. I have to tell you something and I can’t here.”
“Can it wait until done eating?”
Joey shook his head. “No. We need to go to the gym right now while everyone is here. I promise it won’t take a few minutes. But we need to do it now before I lose the nerve. I need to tell someone.”
Reiner, sensing the urgency in Joey’s voice, set his silverware down and carried his tray with Joey to the service conveyer belt and set them on it to roll back to the dishwashers. Joey then walked at a fast pace out of the cafeteria onwards to the gym with Reiner following close behind.
Peering into school gymnasium and finding it empty, the two went across it quickly with Joey leading the way to the Boy’s Locker Room. Shutting the door behind them Joey asked, “Check down the locker rows fast Reiner. Please. Make sure no one is here.”
Reiner cautiously walked the breadth of the room looking down each row. Seeing no one he said, “All Clear.”
Joey then grabbed Reiner’s arm and led him to the last row of lockers where it made a turn, allowing some people to be there without being visible down the row directly. Joey went against the lockers and turned around to face Reiner.
“Promise me. What I show you, you keep a secret forever.”
Reiner showed a little hurt at the repeat of that request but firmly declared, “I Promise Joey. Although I do not see what this has to do with your de-… “
He did not get a chance to finish the statement as his eyes were glued to Joey and what was happening. Time seemed to slow down as Joey closed his eyes and reached back behind his head with both hands. A look of serenity pursed Joey’s mouth as his hands seemed to be doing something behind his hair. Then, in slow motion, Joey pulled his long black hair free of its confinement. Reiner watched the strands of hair come around from behind and cover the sides of Joey’s face. In a natural maneuver, Joey then ran his hands up through the hair to free it of clumping as he shook his head from side to side upwards and let it settle back down. He then opened his eyes and a whole new look about him appeared. Joey’s face seemed more sensual. His eyes were softer. His lips had a slight pout to them.
Reiner, let his jaw drop as his mind suddenly comprehended what had just unfolded in front of him. The person in front of him was no longer Joey. This person had a natural flair, subtleness, and grace that Joey did not have. The soft, inviting brown eyes blinked back at him as the face formed a questioning look.
A girl!
“Uh… Joey…”
“Reiner, this is what I am.” Joey stated.
In Reiner’s mind, it all suddenly made sense: The quirkiness Joey had always had in his moves, his behavior, all of it! And yet, nothing physically changed about the person. All Joey had done was release his hair, and then, this new person appeared! — this person hiding in the guise of his teammate Joey!
“Joey? You are a girl?”
Joey nodded, blushing. He then gripped the front of his baggy shirt and started lifting it up some past his belly button showing the cinch of his waist, drawing Reiner’s attention to the figure he possessed. Reiner remembered how odd Joey seemed shaped but the team uniform Joey wore was a size too large and slightly baggy.
Reiner grabbed both of his hands and pulled the shirt back down.
“No Joey. I don’t need to see. I know. This is — so wow.” Reiner sat down on the bench.
Joey sat down beside Reiner, clasping his hands upon his lap looking down at the floor. He was visibly shaking.
Reiner was only startled out of his daze by some sniffling and the slight crying coming from beside him. Joey had both hands up against his face hiding it. The sad, trembling girl beside Reiner caused his natural instincts to kick in. He leaned into Joey and put his arms around him — no… Her! Moving in tune with the girl’s shaking and sobbing, he allowed his warmth and presence to comfort her.
Lana felt the arms encircle her as she cried. She had just exposed herself and now, soon, everyone would know! Lana didn’t care anymore! She had to get this out to someone. It was eating her alive and she needed someone to confide in! Lana leaned into Reiner’s chest and rubbed her cheek against his shirt and let the tears keep falling. She felt safe in the grasp of this boy. Her vulnerability began to fade from her as she relished the feel of being held in Reiner's strong arms, whom she had really only known since this morning. It was quite intoxicating, and combined with her emotional release, allowed her to drift into a dreamlike state.
Reiner leaned his head on top of hers and gave her a couple of gentle squeezes with his arms letting her know that it was alright to let it all out. He inhaled her smell from her hair and found that she sure didn’t smell anything like a boy. She smelled just like any other girl he had been around. Reiner was just awestruck by this revelation. Sure, back in Dresden he had seen people like this, but none like this girl! - one who was so easily overlooked and seen as a boy.
Time seemed to have stopped for the both of them, and yet it felt like ages had passed. Reiner gently asked, “Do you have a name?”
She slightly nodded and whispered, “Lana.”
Reiner felt an intense sorrow for her. He knew the dangers that people like her had to go through, and hiding was routine for the most part. All that he really knew right now was that he felt an incredible urge to protect this poor girl, to keep her safe from harm.
In what seemed like hours later, Lana was able to pull away and sit up, still sniffling a bit and wiping her eyes yet again. Reiner looked at her in a whole new light.
“So what now?” he offered.
Lana looked down at her feet again briefly then looked up at him. “Nothing right now. You know I am not like other boys. I am trying to find out how I can stay like this or become a girl fully. I have been told I will change when puberty finally does hit me - become more like you. And that scares me, a lot!”
She breathed in deeply. “I don’t look much like a boy do I?”
“You do not. In fact, I am amaze I did not see before!” Reiner answered.
Lana glumly added, “Yeah. I have to get my hair cut after school too.”
Reiner opened his eyes wide. “Why?”
“My father. He loves me as his son, but he doesn’t know who I am, just as you didn’t. If he ever suspected though… he’d…”
Reiner gently intertwined his fingers in between Joey’s and squeezed his hand. “Don’t even think such thoughts. You have to stay hidden until you are 18 in this country. Then you can move and be you.”
Lana took her free hand and pulled her hair around to grab it all and pulled it down snug so it lay flat. Reiner looked at her. He still saw a girl, one whom looked a bit more butch, but a girl nonetheless.
“My father, he will know about my body if I get my hair cut like he wants. I’m going to go to a special hair place and have it trimmed and styled differently. Cut, but not as much. I’m just worried about how I’m going to be seen afterwards. I mean, really, the only look that kept me safe all this time was keeping my hair like this and baggy clothes.”
Reiner chuckled some causing Joey to look at him. “This explains all the problems you had this week in practice. I get it now. So besides protecting you, I will need to do one on one with you and help you get your focus on ball back.”
“You don’t have to you know… hermano.”
“I do!”Reiner stressed. “I want to. I’m not letting you get beat. And I want you to do good at whatever you want to do. This is about you!”
Lana gave Reiner the sad brown puppy eyes look. Reiner slowly put his fingers under her chin and lifted until her gaze to meet his eyes.
“Lana. You are a good person. I think many times wonderful. I want to help you. Will you let me?”
Lana slowly nodded.
Reiner glanced at his watch and exclaimed, “We need to move on now. Lunch is almost over. You go back to being a boy now. Tell you what, I will give you my tele number. You can call later.”
Lana pulled her hair back behind her and slid the hair cord to tie her hair back down into the low ponytail as Reiner pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper from his pocket and jotted down his number.
“Here is mein number Lana. I will talk to Greg and get him to help against Bobby. The two of us can handle them. Greg is mein Freund too. He will do it for me. But I will not mention about… this. Never!”
Lana stuck the slip of paper into her pocket and stood there facing Reiner.
They both eyed each other.
Then, without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Reiner held her for a few magical moments more. He ran his hand slowly through her hair while holding her, feeling a pity and a deep caring for this girl that he had never felt towards anyone else before. He knew he would protect her. She needed it and… deserved it! He gently kissed the top of her hair and felt her relax against his chest contentedly. Soon, they had to separate and leave for their respective classes.
Joey was a bit slow during basketball practice, but with encouragement from Reiner, began to find ways to help compensate the lack of coordination he had been experiencing. Reiner watched as Joey leapt and bent during practice. Joey’s neck! He saw it was slightly longer and thinner than most boys as well. Sure enough! Now that he knew what to look for, he saw, indeed, that Joey’s skeleton was like a girl’s. Wow! Simply wow!
What was very difficult for Reiner was watching Joey and knowing, that in reality, he was a girl named Lana. She was doing a sport that boys mainly played and was actually doing better than most of them! A smile formed on Reiner’s lips as he tried to maintain his composure while playing. He was utterly fascinated and enthralled with knowing about her. His eyes were glued to her! He was watching her play and helping her do her routine with scoring hoops: faking out the offense, then, twisting and leaping up to slam dunk the ball!
The coach congratulated Joey on picking up again on performance and noticed some extra effort between Reiner working along with Joey on the court. That was the kind of teamwork he knew would win them games. He blew his whistle and called for them to take to the locker room and change. Practice was over for the period.
Joey turned to head for the locker room when Reiner grabbed his arm.
“Wait here for a minute. I’ll get Greg.”
Reiner jogged up to Greg and got him to come back over with him to Joey.
“Our Freund here has a problem. Bobby Owens and his two Arschlochs are hurting Joey during school. They slammed him to the floor this morning. I watched it.” Reiner explained.
Joey felt a flushness of embarrassment encase his body as he stood transfixed, looking at Reiner and then Greg.
“Is that so?” Greg asked looking over at Joey.
Joey nodded.
“Ok. Let’s have a little “talk” with them. Can’t have our Ace taken out can we?” Greg grinned. “Is Bobby out this period or next?”
Reiner shrugged. Joey spoke up. “I think he is out this period. He might even try to follow me home. I live seven blocks from here. Not sure if he knows where I live though.”
“Ok. Get changed. You two meet me here after changing. We are going to pay him a visit.”
Greg Sauls, the Captain of the El Camino Real High School Boys Basketball team, was a no-nonsense individual that planned things carefully and was a person not to be trifled with! He was exceptionally strong and worked out some with weights besides swimming.
All three went into the locker room and Greg and Reiner went to their lockers to change. Joey, nervous as always, went to his locker and pulled out a towel to wipe the sweat off. He then put the towel inside his gym bag and carried it out with him to wait for Reiner and Greg.
They showed up nine minutes later after a fast shower, their hair still damp.
“Not changing?” Greg directed to Joey.
“No. I’m… going to be doing some practice when I get home.”
Greg then motioned to the door. “Let’s go have our talk with “the problem.”
The three of them exited the Gym and went around to the front of the school and watched as kids began filing out to the buses and parking lot. After about ten minutes, when they didn’t spot their adversaries, they decided to give up looking for the day. Their hopes of finding him seemingly dashed.
Reiner then spoke to Joey. “Would you like a lift to your house?”
Joey rather shyly replied. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
Reiner’s eyes twinkled. “It’s not a problem. I want to.”
Greg turned to Reiner. “Rein. I’ll look for him in the morning and let you know. Joey which locker is yours?”
“1421. It’s beside Mrs. Reskills Government class.”
“Ok. I’ll wait around your locker and watch for him. If I don’t see him then, I’ll find him sometime tomorrow for sure. I’m going to look. See you later Rein. Joey.”
Greg high-fived Reiner and walked off to his car.
Reiner tapped Joey’s arm. “I’m over here.” Joey followed him over to a really nice cherry red convertible car. Reiner unlocked both doors and motioned for Joey to get in. While Joey admired the new looking vehicle with its spackling interior, Reiner put the top down and closed the door. The engine came to life with a nice powerful start! Joey looked over at Reiner.
“It’s a 1971Ford LTD. Mein Vater gave it to me.”
Lana smiled back at Reiner. She held her gym bag close to her in her lap. She was enjoying this experience with Reiner and he seemed rather glad to have offered it to her.
Reiner backed out of the space and started queuing up in the line of cars leaving the school.
Lana was feeling a degree of freedom she had felt only before with Rikkie. She really felt alive! Being in this car with this boy was simply fantastic! She felt very privileged and soaked in the view as she rode along with him. Lana pointed out the turn onto Curry Way and he slowed the convertible down to the posted speed in this residential area. She felt like she was actually on a date with Reiner! If this is what dating a boy is like, maybe it isn’t so bad after all? Shoot! Remember Rikkie! This is so confusing!
They arrived at her house on Sage Way and Reiner pulled over to the curb in front of her house and put the car in park. Lana looked at Reiner. The two of them stared at one another for a minute and smiles crept across both their faces.
“I-I…I can’t.” Lana shyly refused. “My Mama might be watching and doing that out in the open... well…”
Reiner nodded in agreement. “I won’t take advantage of you Lana. Ever. We just met today. When you think things through, maybe kissing would be appropriate. But it is best for you to think. I know you are confuse. I am ihr Freund first.”
Lana felt her heart tugged in a way that felt wonderful and bad at the same time. She wanted to lean over and kiss Reiner so badly! Yet the danger of it was too real. And she had to remain faithful to Rikkie!
Lana sighed and then opened the door and was stepping out onto the lawn when Reiner leaned over and grabbed her left hand. She glanced back at him to see what he was doing when he gave it slight squeeze. “See you tomorrow.”
Lana smiled and stared into those dreamy eyes of his. “Thank you… for everything!”
“Ich freue mich — mein pleasure!” He loosened his grip on her hand and let his grasp slide to her fingertips where he gave her a final squeeze.
Lana shut the door and watched as Reiner waved a goodbye and drove off.
“Joey?”
Joey heard his Mama call him from the front door. He turned around and trudged up the lawn towards her.
“Who was that? And why did you ride with him?”
“His name is Reiner,” Joey confessed. “He gave me a ride home after practice. He is German and a good friend. He’s on my basketball team.”
“I don’t like the idea of you riding with strangers. I would like for you to call me and let me know if it is an emergency. At least ask me before you do something like that.”
“Yes Mama. I am sorry.”
Julia couldn’t stay angry at her first born. She smiled and patted him on his shoulder. “Go on up and get ready for your haircut. Let’s try and leave in twenty minutes.”
“Ok.”
Leigh appeared in the doorway as he started up the stairs.
“Hey Big Bro!”
“Hey Leigh!”
She came up the stairs behind him. “Your haircut?”
“Yeah. “
Leigh wrapped her arms around him from behind as he reached the top of the stairs, gripping him in a sisterly hug. Joey smiled and patted her arm.
Leigh whispered into his ear, “You be careful Bro. I just hope you are doing the right thing.”
“Me too Sis.”
Leigh smiled and trounced off into her room. Joey felt like he was heading for his doom as he walked towards the bathroom for a quick shower.
Almost an hour later, Mrs. Martinez pulled into a parking spot in front of the Valley Heights Barber Shop. Joey got out and waited for his Mama.
“I’m going to go shopping at the Safeway for our groceries. It may be an hour. When you are done, come meet me inside.”
“Yes Mama.”
Julia handed him a $10 dollar bill. “Bring the change back when you're through.”
“Ok Mama.”
Joey paused at the door and turned to watch his Mama walk down the sidewalk to the store. When she went into the store, he built up his nerve, and then walked back out into the parking lot. True to Rikkie’s word, right there across from the Barber shop was the sign for Kelly’s Salon.
The store was an aged two story brick building with the bottom story paned with glass on two sides. The design of the store’s logo and the pictures of women’s heads on the glass panes obscured most of the activity occurring inside the salon. Joey reached the front door and peered inside.
There were several chairs and counters along both walls of the store room inside. Sinks were at every counter with various bottles and containers of things around each station. Two women were seated at chairs with stylists attending both women. Joey gulped. He reached for the door and pulled it open.
The bell tinkled and he stood inside.
He saw two couches along windows here by the door with a coffee table in front of them. Various women’s magazines were strewn atop it. Joey stood there and pulled his arms up to his stomach crossing them.
He took in the various odors of the salon, some pungent, others more like hair conditioners. He started having second thoughts about this whole thing.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right with you.”
The woman’s voice startled Joey and he noticed the woman it came from. She eyed him for a minute and went back to cleaning up a station across from the two women being worked on. Joey picked up a fashion magazine and began paging through it glancing at the various women and how they had their hair. A woman had long curly locks with a summer dress in one pose. Another woman had blond hair done something similar to the wife of that president that had been shot a few years ago. Who was that? Kennedy! Mrs. Kennedy. Yes.
Joey turned the page and continued looking at the various hair styles that women who had longer hair were wearing these days. He suddenly got the weird feeling he was being watched. Looking up, he saw the woman standing beside him with a nice smile.
“How may I help you today?”
Joey gulped. “Ummm. I wanted to see about maybe… umm… getting my hair done?”
She looked him over and then asked, “You’re sure you want us to do your hair? I don’t know of many boys that would come here, but if you are sure, I will do my best to make it how you would like.”
Joey blushed. “I was told to tell you that Enrique Lopez told me to see a lady named Carol?”
“Enrique? Hmm. Ok, let me go get Mrs. Preston.”
The woman vanished behind a curtain covering a doorway to the back. A few minutes later she returned with a younger woman with brunette hair. It was kept trimmed to her shoulder and curled under some. Her darker red lipstick contrasted well with her complexion. She came up to him.
“So you know Rikkie?”
“Yes Ma’m. I do. I’m his best friend. “
“Then come this way.” She led him over to a chair by a sink second from the front windows and opposite of the other women. She motioned for him to seat and she went over to the sink to wash her hands.
“So what sort of hair style did you have in mind?” She called from behind him.
Rikkie paused. He didn’t know the name of the style he had in mind.
“It’s more like this. It’s where the hair is down to just above the eyes and curls under towards the face and the hair just slopes down like this, “ he motioned with his hands along the side of his face, “Around towards the back all curled up and under.”
“Page style?”
“If that is the name. Yes Ma’m.”
“Ok, I need for you to remove your hair tie.” Joey chastised himself for forgetting that! He reached behind his head and slipped the little red tie string off, sticking it into his pocket, and then fluffing his hair out with his fingers. Carol watched this simple act with interest.
“Ok, now lay back here and I’ll start by a simple conditioning. It looks like you have already washed your hair.”
Joey nodded. He lay back in the chair and let his hair hang over the back. He felt the coolness of some gel like liquid in his hair. She then dabbed water into his hair to wet it and start massaging the conditioner into it.
“So why did you choose to come here instead of say the Barber shop across from us?”
Joey felt a twinge of shame. “Well… you see. My Father wanted me to get my hair cut. He is against boys having long hair. It’s just… I like long hair. But… it’s like I can’t go against him. So I have to get it cut. But he did not say how short or like what. So I think I have some room to get it done how I might like it and not be something my father would likely be too against.”
Carol smiled and started spraying the conditioner out.
Joey closed his eyes and felt the hands massaging his scalp. A towel then dabbed at his hair and was wrapped underneath it and pressed against the cushioned top of the chair. A few minutes later, with the towel removed, a chemical was sparingly sprayed into his hair and a comb followed to straighten it all out.
“How did you come to know Rikkie?”Carol enquired.
With his eyes still closed, Joey, in a lower voice, replied, “Well Ma’m, I guess I’m like him. I mean her!”
Carol giggled a little. “I know what you mean. And dear, I already knew you were.”
Joey felt a chill go down his back and opened his eyes. “You did? How?”
Carol combed Joey’s hair down in front of his face and began to snip it across the tip of his nose.
“Well honey. Your mannerisms are not what one would normally see in a boy.” She paused a moment and eyed both sides of his face before starting to snip down the hair along the left side of his face. “That and your body. You seem to be built something like a girl. Things like your build, this neck, and the way your face is. It’s very feminine. So if you are best friends with Rikkie, one can easily put two and two together.”
Joey mentally conceded to that simple logic. Yet now, if she saw it, how many others could see it too? Oh Gosh! Carol saw that he was a little uncomfortable with that revelation.
“What’s your name sweety?”
Joey, in a low voice answered, “Joey. Joey Martinez.”
“Is that the one you use for when you’re a girl?” Carol look a bit surprised as she finished trimming the back and was working on the right side.
“Ohh? Lana.”
Joey then asked, “Mrs. Preston. I would really like to know what mannerisms I have that gave me away. You see, I need to hide for now. If I am doing something wrong that is girl-like when I’m trying to act out being a boy, I need to know. I don’t want to get beat up or my father to get upset at me.”
“Dear, you can call me Carol. No need for being formal here.” She grinned.
“Yes Ma’m - I mean, Carol.”
Carol finished snipping and brushed off the hairs from the chair and Joey’s shoulder. Joey then felt something with a little weight being pressed against his forehead and the hair was being rolled around it. Carol then seemed to put some plastic spikes through the hair and into it.
“Well, it’s the way you stand, move, and generally act: a combination of things. You haven’t studied to be this way have you?”
“No Ma’m.” Joey replied.
“You seem to be a natural girl then Lana. But if you need to hide that, then try this: Keep your arms more straight when you walk and don’t let them hang out away from your sides. When you walk, take longer steps - that will help break up the way you walk as a girl. Your facial movements, all I can suggest is maybe try to hold in not being so lively or animated. Maybe stiffen up a little.”
Joey sighed. Pretend being dead. That’s what this feels like I have to do. Not being able to live.
Carol then started working on the other side. “It’s not all that bad is it hon?”
A tear trickled down Joey’s cheek.
“Oh hon!” Carol stopped and grabbed a tissue. She dabbed at his cheeks. “What is it?”
Joey held back trying to cry and worked up his throat up to speak again. “I-I-it’s just… I want to be a girl! Like now. I don’t want to hide! It hurts too. I really hate pretending to be a boy.”
Carol leaned over and gave him a hug. Joey worked at squelching his emotions and suppressed the urge to cry. He let the simple act of the hug from another woman soothe his mind. Carol pulled back from the hug and dabbed his eyes dry.
“Hon. Lana. You need to hide and be strong unless you have supportive parents. At least until you are 18. Then you can legally do whatever you wish. Being Strong! It’s something us girls learn to be when we are little: to deal with situations that are tough and be there and work through it. Besides, before you know it, you'll be able to do something about your situation. It’s not forever, you know.”
Joey looked down into his lap. Forever. That’s a long time to wait.
“Here sweet. Let me get these last rollers in and I’ll drop the dryer down to set your hair.”
Joey let her finish her work and the chair was set back into the upright position.
Carol then leaned over and said, “Come over to the dryer chair over here and I’m going to set the timer for twelve minutes. I’ll pull the dryer off of you then.” She smiled and patted his shoulders gently. Joey got up followed her over to another chair where he sat and a cone shaped cap was lowered down until it was overtop his head. A towel was then wrapped around his neck and draped overtop of his shoulders. A gentle breeze of warm air started to blow down onto him.
After the timer had gone off, Carol came back and turned off the drying machine and raised the cap. She then held proceeded to remove the hair rollers she had put in. After a couple of minutes more, she had them out and handed Joey a mirror.
“Tell me what you think.” Carol beamed.
Joey didn’t have words to describe what he saw looking back at him in the mirror. A beautiful young Mexican girl with a look of awe was staring back at him. Her hair was just perfect! The bangs that she had created from his long hair blended in perfectly with the rest, cascading down the sides of his face with the curling effect of going back under framing his head. It was gorgeous!
“I love it!”
“Now before you ask, I already know what is going to be on your mind. This style you selected is being worn by a lot of men these days so both sexes wear it. However, this does sort of make you look more of a girl. I suggest if you want to hide, you need to use some of what I said, or maybe study more of what other boys do. “
She continued, “I know you are not as tall or really as muscled as other boys, but there are things you can do to keep up a semblance of being one. The baggy clothes effect does help too.”
Lana smiled and looked back into the mirror at herself. She absolutely loved the way she looked!
Carol helped Joey out of the chair and handed him a small package. He looked at it and saw the words “Shower cap” printed on it.
Carol explained, “You unfold that and put it over your hair when you shower to preserve your styling longer. If you get it wet it will lose the curling effect. Also, don’t condition or shampoo your hair every day. Wash and condition it every other day. It keeps the hair ends from splitting or stressing the hair out too much.”
Lana was grateful for that bit of information. She didn’t know that before.
Carol then wrote up a ticket and asked, “Lana, how much does the Barber Shop usually charge you for a cut?”
Joey thought for a second.
“I think “$2.25 Ma’m.”
She smiled. “Well, then that’s how much I’m charging you for this styling.”
Lana’s jaw dropped.
“But… how much does this normally cost?”
“Don’t you worry about that. You don’t work yet do you?”
“Umm no Ma’m.”
“Then we need to keep the cost the same as what the Barber Shop would have charged you. That way, it will play a little more in favor to your Mother and Father when they see it. And the shower cap is free.”
Lana was astonished at how nice Carol was to her. No wonder Rikkie came to her! Lana then paid her and pocketed the change.
Carol waved to Lana. “I hope you do come back again sometime. You are always welcome here.”
“I hope I can come back again too Ma’m.”
Lana smiled and walked out.
To say Mrs. Martinez was pleased with what Joey did was the overstatement of the year! She started talking about how weird it looked and how his father would react to it. Joey did explain that a lot of boys wore this type of haircut now and that the cost was the same as the Barber Shop one. He retrieved the change and presented it to her. Julia could see it was indeed the same cost and she knew that her son was excited about it and appeared somewhat desperate in seeking her approval. While he did hide the fact that he would do this kind of thing from her, he was not actually required to have it cut at the Barber Shop. It was just expected. And she didn’t think for the life of her that he would even go into a Hair Salon to do this sort of thing. Her son was actually doing things on his own and growing up right in front of her eyes.
Julia weighed in those facts plus the fact that Joey had never lied to her. If asked, he always told the truth. So in all what he did was not really all that bad. Just different! The big task next was one pitting her against her husband. She didn’t think he would really like it. And she didn’t really want to go against what he liked, but she also had to weigh in what her son wanted to within reason too. And he kept his school grades up so that he stayed on the honor roll and did play basketball…
She did agree to let him keep the hair that way and would talk to his father about it later that night. Julia said she would talk to him about it while he was over at the Lopez’s since he would come home late tonight.
After helping his Mama put the groceries away, Joey rushed immediately out the back patio door, through their back yard, across the street to the left some, past an oak tree in front of the Lopez’s front yard, and stopped at the door.
The Lopez's front door opened after he ringed the bell. Rikkie! Much to Joey’s surprise, instead of saying something, Rikkie came forward and held Joey’s face as she kissed him. Rikkie pulled back and opened her eyes again.
Lana waited for the stars to clear from her vision and the emotional high she just experienced from Rikkie’s sensual kiss.
“I take it you are happy to see me Lana?” Rikkie beamed.
“Y-yy-yeah. Actually very.”
“That hairdo is just tops! It’s so you! Come on in Girlfriend!”
Boyfriend and Girlfriend - Part 7
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“Seems I really need to… control myself more,” Rikkie admitted as she began backing out the doorway, still watching Lana. “I had better leave and let you dress. Otherwise… I’ll be wanting to do… more of that.”
Lana, feeling guilty, softly said, “I’m sorry.” Rikkie pushed the door open a tad more, “Don’t be girl! I enjoyed it.” |
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| Rikkie/Enrique Lopez | Lana/Joey Martinez |
Lana was slightly dazed as she stepped through the door. Rikkie was wearing blue denim skirt with a pearly white chamois top. Practically anything Rikkie wore just accented her beauty! Her make-up was light and fresh. Her hair was pulled back on the sides and clipped with a barrette. She just looked so beautiful and happy to see Lana. Rikkie smiled back at her as she shut the door and led Lana to the dining room.
Lana stood before the Lopez family as Joey looking very uncomfortable and very nervous.
Joey didn’t know what to expect when he had been invited to come over to the Lopez home, but he had hoped that this evening would be just like so many other evenings had been at the Lopez home: a night for Lana to be herself, openly and freely. Joey had packed into his gym bag he had brought along most of what he would need to transform from Joey to Lana.
“Go ahead make yourself comfortable Lana,” Mrs. Lopez breaking the tension. “Your hair, it’s very pretty too. That’s a nice style and it suits you.”
Lana flushed her cheeks some.
Just then Nina entered the room and immediately hugged her former boyfriend.
“Nice to see you again Lana. Nice hair too by the way!”
Joey didn’t know what to do, where to sit, or if to remain standing. He fidgeted noticeably.
“Relax Lana!” Rikkie pleaded, “No one here is gonna hurt ya girl.”
Nina chimed in “Did you bring anything to change into sweetie?”
The combination of seeing both Rikkie and Nina for the first time in weeks coupled with the fact that she was being revealed to yet another person Mrs. Lopez had paralyzed him.
"Ummm… yeah. I did,” she stammered while tapping her gym bag.
“Good lets go get you dressed and then we can have a little dinner and have our talk.” Nina comforted him reassuringly.
Rikkie grabbed a hold of Joey’s right arm and began to lead him up the stairs to her bedroom. Joey didn’t resist and felt like a sheep being led to a slaughter with a tenseness and excitement that gripped him. Rikkie opened her bedroom door and as Joey stepped in, she rubbed her cheek along Joey’s neck, sending shivers down his spine! Goosebumps prickled up on his arms. Rikkie then gently bit and kissed the spot.
Joey turned, very surprised.
“W-what was that for?” he asked.
Rikkie merely grinned like a feline with her prey and answered, “Just a snack!”
Joey rolled his eyes. “I am not a food!”
Rikkie laughed, “You are to me! Go ahead and change in here and meet us back downstairs when you’re ready.”
Joey’s tension melted as the two just stood there, staring at one another. Each was lost in the other’s eyes. Lana, reasserting herself, then pulled Rikkie in closer and kissed her gently. After a few savoring moments of locked lips and tongues gently probing inside of each other’s mouth, Rikkie broke contact, pulling back a bit. Looking down at the floor and then back up at Lana, her breathing slowed down. Rikkie’s face then returned back to a more normal color.
“Seems I really need to… control myself more,” Rikkie admitted as she began backing out the doorway, still watching Lana. “I had better leave and let you dress. Otherwise… I’ll be wanting to do… more of that.”
Lana, feeling guilty, softly said, “I’m sorry.”
Rikkie pushed the door open a tad more, “Don’t be girl! I enjoyed it.”
Rikkie then pulled the door shut. Joey heard Rikkie’s dulled footsteps on the carpeted stairs until it became quiet. Joey then set the gym bag on Rikkie’s pink and white flowered blanketed bed and unzipped it.
A half an hour later, Lana emerged from Rikkie’s bedroom with that familiar smile that Lana always had when visiting the Lopez home. The hugs that Lana got from Nina and Rikkie removed any tension that she had been feeling as Lana fell into her familiar role at the Lopez’s that of one of the girls!
Mrs. Lopez had prepared a wonderful meal with fresh tortillas, asparagus, corn muffins, and an onion, beef, and bean spread for the tortillas, along with a tossed salad! The conversation was light and breezy and the girls talked while they ate for an hour.
“Mrs. Lopez, that was a terrific dinner, just like my Mom cooks,” Lana said.
“Thank you Lana. Why don’t you and Rikkie go have a seat in the living room while Nina and I clean up? We’ll join you in just a bit for our talk.” Mrs. Lopez said.
“Mrs. Lopez I wasn’t raised that way. I want to help and do my share.” Lana replied.
Nina added, “Mama, she’s one of us. She knows just what to do.”
As they began to clear the table Mrs. Lopez said something that Lana had been longing to hear her whole life, “Thank you Miha. You’re such a sweet girl!”
Lana’s knees almost buckled as she had gotten the recognition and affirmation as a sweet girl from a Mom, not her Mom- not yet, but it gave her hope.
After washing and putting away the dishes, the group retired to the living room. The setting sun dazzled beams of light through the windows in the Lopez’s living room as Mrs. Lopez and Nina on the smaller couch, and Rikkie beside Lana on the larger. Rikkie slowly bumped her leg against Lana’s while they all stared at one another.
Lana felt very welcomed, but there loomed an ominous cloud that came to a head with the long moment of awkward silence amongst the girls. Lana noticed Mrs. Lopez studying her reflectively. Rikkie’s eyes shot from Lana to her Mom and back again several times. As Mrs. Lopez began to speak, Rikkie took Lana’s hand supportively.
“There is very little doubt that you are a beautiful girl Lana. I see in you, so much of what I have seen in my younger daughter for all of her life. I see a true and joyful young girl that is about to become a woman.”
Mrs. Lopez spoke slowly with heartfelt conviction. “I also recognize the sorrow in your eyes and I see the unhappiness with the way you have to live your life Lana. It’s something I know all too well, and Rikkie does too. Not being allowed to be you and hiding all the time. It's not healthy and it hurts. I see it in Rikkie every day.”
Tears began to form around the edges of Lana’s eyes.
“I know your pain and I think that we can help you feel better and educate you.”
Mrs. Lopez was speaking with the voice of experience. Rikkie slid closer and put her arm around her best friend Lana to comfort her. Nina’s eye welled up as she also moved to support her girlfriend too.
“Lana, what I am going to explain to you is for your benefit. As much as I would really love to help you, I cannot do for you what I am doing for my Rikkie. You are not my child and I do not want to run afoul with your parents nor the police. But, I will not stand by and see you go through what my little Rikkie went through some years earlier either. There is information and help, but it is limited and largely hidden.”
“It took me a long time and a lot of effort to get Enrique the help he needed to become Rikkie. Even now, Rikkie limits her outing herself until she graduates. That’s to protect her and give her a chance to move to another city where she hasn’t been known as Enrique and can start her life afresh. For now, she hides in plain sight while in school. That also means no sports for her where others can see what she is like under her clothing — her continued disguise as a boy. Though, lately, she has feminized her appearance with her hair being long.”
“Rikkie first knew she was a girl when she was 3 years old and resisted wearing boy clothes. No matter how many times I dressed her in boy clothing, I would come back and see her throwing temper tantrums and stripping it off of herself. She would throw a fit until I put some of Nina’s clothes on her and let her play with Nina’s dolls.”
“She would follow me around the house carrying Lucky, her rabbit doll, holding it to her watching me do housework. It wasn’t long before she began to help me. Every attempt I made to try and interest Enrique into boy’s games and toys, she seemed to know what I was trying to do and resisted me. She was so very insistent that she was a girl.”
“Mooooomm!” Rikkie drawled out in a pathetic, embarrassed whine.
Mrs. Lopez smiled and continued.
"That isn't to say I couldn't get her to wear them at all. She had to attend school as a boy and accepted being a girl at home for the meantime. That was, until she started getting sick often. At that point we had to get doctors involved."
“After several psychologist and doctor visits, Dr. Yarsborough at Oceanside General Hospital had finally reached a decision. Enrique’s body was somewhat feminine already. He had not developed out like most other boys - his puberty was delayed. Endocrinology tests revealed Enrique had very low levels of testosterone, the male hormone. There were also very low levels of estrogen present as well. It was, as he described, as if Enrique’s body was shutting down producing sex hormones. This was monitored for over a year and the levels kept dropping and got dangerously low. That was when Enrique had gotten really sick, you remember.”
Lana nodded, remembering Nina having told her back then. Rikkie gave Lana a gentle hand squeeze.
“Dr. Yarsborough felt there was something involved at the genetic levels and is still studying Enrique, but it is kept quiet and confidential because of Enrique’s age. The decision was made that Enrique did have to be started on a sex hormone since his body wasn’t producing any. The problem was in getting the legal and medical documentation stating its necessity and that Enrique was really Rikkie. It was one long nightmare I have no wish to repeat and a lot of arguing with doctors.”
“We had to have many doctors interview and watch Rikkie during the observation study while Dr. Yarsborough was monitoring the hormones weekly for her. Apparently, a lot of medical professionals are needed when a doctor makes a decision like this for a child to ensure it is the right one. And my little Rikkie, true to herself, was so much a natural girl, that the doctors did reach a consensus rather quickly, assuring Dr. Yarsborough’s decision to proceed with female hormones, as per Rikkie’s wish and determination to be a girl, was indeed, the correct one.”
“Legally, we are leaving Rikkie as Enrique on identification for school purposes until she has her operation in a few months. This will remove the male parts and create a female look to their best of their ability. Dr. Yarsborough explained that female hormones can have an adverse effect on male sex organs if left exposed to it for too long. It’s been four years and Rikkie’s male parts, the testicles, are showing signs of lump development. It can lead to cancer, so the surgery is a must. The female hormones have already done their work on Rikkie and developed her out as much as she will ever be as a young girl, so the surgery will just finish the process.”
“We will then proceed to change Enrique’s documentation over to Rikkie and take Rikkie out of this school and transfer her to a new one to finish her schooling out at under her newly changed legal name and sex.”
Lana’s eyes widened. She did not know that this was going to happen so soon! Mrs. Lopez paused and watched Lana’s reaction. Rikkie pulled Lana closer to her and hugged her.
“But… how will I see you Rikkie? Are you moving?”
Rikkie whispered into her ear, “No hon. I’m staying here still. I’m just going to be driven to and from the new school.”
Nina watched the two and how they were interacting as well. She knew they loved each other a whole lot and that there was a long hard road ahead for the both of them. The question was what was Lana going to decide or do?
“Lana?” Mrs. Lopez asked a second time. Lana had drifted for a moment with her mind awash in what Mrs. Lopez had told her.
“Yes? I’m sorry Mrs. Lopez. I was thinking.”
“The decision to do what you want to do is not easy. There are a lot of doctors and psychologists you will have to see to help you decide if what you want is right for you. The medicines and surgery are much later. I, however, do know your Papa. I do not think he will approve what you want to do.”
Lana wistfully sighed. “No…” she breathed out.
Mrs. Lopez stood up, and went over to sit beside Lana and hold her. Lana just rested against her as she thought and thought about what to do. Rikkie sat back and watched her Mama comfort Lana.
Mrs. Lopez patted Lana softly and let her go. “What I will do for you is to give you the doctors names that Rikkie had seen and see what they can do for you.”
Lana frowned. “How will I pay for seeing them?”
Mrs. Lopez, in a lower tone, said, “That, my Miha, we will have to work on. Whether you get a job, or get assistance from the doctors is one thing. But do know this. You are under age and they will have to notify your parents.”
Lana sat up straight, eyeing Mrs. Lopez with fear. “I cannot do that then, Mrs. Lopez. Papa will get angry. He would blow his top. He might even try to kill me. I love my Papa, but on this, being a girl, for the person whom he prizes as his son, he would become a demon and try to reclaim his son back. I have never been a boy and I never really enjoyed pretending to be one, just for him. But I know the consequences for disrupting his image of my being his son. I will have to find some other way then - some way where he cannot be told.”
Mrs. Lopez understood Lana’s fear. She knew Mr. Martinez to be a prideful man and it wouldn’t be beneath him to beat Joey should he find out. Lana was not in exactly an understanding family. She herself accepted her child as what she professed and behaved to be. But, she knew herself to be an exception to the vast majority of families, those that didn’t understand or else listened to the hate those churches spat out and worse, believed the garbage!
"Lana, I tell you what. I will pay for you to go see Dr. Myers, Rikkie's Psychologist. Talk to her and let her help direct you. She knows a lot of the doctors that deal with this kind of situation and may know those who can help you or how to proceed. At the very least, an initial consultation she would not need to inform your parents. Beyond that, I am pretty sure she would have to. It wouldn't hurt to at least get the information, now would it? Fair enough?"
Lana smiled and tried to rebuff her offer. "I couldn't ask that of you Mrs. Lopez. It's..."
Mrs. Lopez cut her off. "I insist. You need the help. And direction."
Lana begged, "At least let me work off the cost - somehow. Please?"
Mrs. Lopez smiled. "Ok Miha. I'll think of something you can do later then. It's a deal."
“Oh. But promise me one thing Lana,” Mrs. Lopez continued in a more motherly manner, “Promise me that no matter what, before you do anything, you will tell me and keep me informed. I understand about your family, but you need guidance on your journey to become yourself, and I will at least help guide you. Keep me informed so that I can help you the best that I can.”
“I will Mrs. Lopez,” Lana smiled weakly.
Nina interjected, “But, in the meantime, you can still dress over here during the week and be you while we find out what you need to do.”
Rikkie lifted Lana’s chin up to look into her eyes. “Being a girl isn’t just the body girlfriend! It’s what’s inside you, your nature, letting her out and just being you! And you won’t be doing this alone. I am your girlfriend!”
Mrs. Lopez then spoke. “Trust us.”
There was no two ways around it. Lana had to trust someone. It would be better that she trusted those that loved her. The conversation with the Lopez’s had convinced her that she did have a future! There was hope for her, or at least something to be hopeful about. She was convinced that there was a place in this world for Lana!
“I’ll write down Dr. Meyers information for you Miha,” Mrs. Lopez stated as she stood up, “I'll call her tomorrow and ask for an appointment. After school hours for the appointment I presume?"
"That would be fine Mrs. Lopez. I'll come up with a cover for whenever the appointment is."
Mrs. Lopez finished, "Meanwhile, you girls can watch the television set for an hour and half while I get the information for Lana and finish the laundry. Have fun.”
“Thanks Mama!” Nina cheerily said as she got up and walked over to the couch Lana and Rikkie were on.
Lana leaned back on the couch and Rikkie leaned in with her and Nina joined them on the sofa as they chatted and watched television.
There was a lot of thinking to do!