---

 
 
I was relieved to find a job during the summer holidays that my aunt arranged through her friends. I needed the cash since my bank account was looking pretty grim and mum had said ‘no more bail outs.’

At least it also gave me an opportunity to stay with my aunt away from the distractions of nightclubs in London which is a big drain on my funds when I’m out with friends 3 nights per week. I just love the nightlife and the music sends me crazy sometimes especially when the drinks are free from students working the bars.

I wasn’t sure what to expect as I arrived in Manchester but there was Aunt Em waiting for me at the rail station and she looked great. In fact she’s only 5 years older than me since she was her dads mistake and she is completely different to mum who married young and left home when Aunt Em was only 10 years old. She’d had a lot more freedom than mum I suppose and she had a great personality that meant she was successful at whatever she did so she had a good job and a fantastic 3 bedroom apartment in a new development near Salford Docks.

I was a bit embarrassed by the big hug I received and she almost squeezed all the air out of my lungs.

She was smiling as she asked if I’d been on a diet since all my teenage body fat had disappeared but sadly with the exception of my manboobs that I was hiding by strapping them back tightly with bandage. It was a bit uncomfortable as she hugged me and I felt her nice firm breasts but nervously held her back so she couldn’t feel mine.

She picked up one of my bags and pushed me off towards the car park and linked arms with me chattering all the way to the car. I guess I’m OK with a few drinks inside me but chat is not top of my list of skills. But I didn’t need to say too much because Em as she asked me to call her was answering for me most of the time.

We were soon zooming through the traffic of Manchester in her VW Golf that was the perfect car for overtaking at traffic lights by switching lanes and Em took a delight in accelerating away from the male drivers. I was nervous but not frightened since she handled the car very well and I thought she’d have given Jeremy Clarkson a run for his money if she ever got on to his Top Gear show.

It was about 5pm when we arrived at her apartment and of course the first job was the grand tour. Wow it was fantastic with a great view over the canal and the nice pedestrian areas. She even had a balcony that she used for sunbathing. The lounge was immaculate and straight out of a designer book so I was thinking it might be difficult for me to slob about. She had a small office with a computer so luckily she had wi-fi. I could use my laptop and skype my friends at least.

I was given the larger guest room and exclusive use of the bathroom since she used her en suite bathroom at the side of the main bedroom. I was slightly envious and would love to have a pad like this but really I was very impressed and proud of Em.

I unpacked that took me longer than normal since I felt I had to put everything out of sight and keep the bedroom tidy. It was a bit on the feminine side but then I couldn’t expect anything else for 8 weeks. She was hardly likely to change the décor for me. I was a bit embarrassed about my gym gear when she explained about the job. I was going to be an attendant at an exclusive gym club that a friend of hers managed with a bit of lifeguard work in the pool. I hoped I’d never have to strip to save anybody and wondered how I might change without showing them in the mens room.

Em had prepared a snack and as slim as I am it didn’t touch the sides and I could have eaten the same again.

‘Well young man that was quick. Would you like something else?’

‘No, No, I’m sorry but I didn’t eat on the train since the sandwiches were not so good and very over-priced. I should have accepted mums lunch pack.’

‘well how about we take a look around and I’ll buy you a welcome drink. I’ve arranged for us to meet Rebecca tomorrow for the interview even though you’ve got the job. Did you bring your CV and your certificates for life saving?’

‘Of course. I just need to double check though since you’ve made me doubtful that I packed them with my laptop.’

Em took me for a walk around the area and showed me the local coffee shops and where to buy supplies. We met a few of her friends and after a while I started to speak out a bit and lose my shyness. We sat outside the bar since it was mild outside and Em ordered a bottle of wine since I told her that was our regular practice before I went clubbing with friends. I suppose it was a bit better quality than I buy so I sipped it rather than slugging it back.

We chatted to some married couples who were neighbors and to the barman who seemed to fancy Em and then headed back to the apartment so it gave me time to log on to my laptop and send some messages out on Facebook. I skyped mum to let her know I’d arrived OK and then caught up with all my messages and e-mails. I heard Em say goodnight but I think it was past midnight before I climbed into bed.

Now I was really looking forward to the stay with Em and hoped I liked the job.

I slept OK and I heard Em moving around obviously trying to wake me without making an issue of it. Suddenly I felt that I needed the bathroom so I ran across the hallway and was relieved that Em was in the kitchen since I was only wearing shorts. As I stood there I looked across at the mirror to see my tussled hair that was in need of a cut and then at my bleary eyes. I tried not to lower them but it was impossible not to look at my chest boobs. Blast these things they seem to get bigger rather than disappearing with the rest of my puppy fat. Maybe the strapping was forcing them to grow like new shoots searching for sunlight. At least taking the job at the gym might give me chance to exercise and try to turn fat to muscle.

I touched the nipples and ran my fingers gently across each of them. They were sensitive and seemed to harden almost immediately. Whatever I thought these things were not going to disappear without a fight. It was an incredible feeling and so I cupped each boob one by one caressing them and wondering why it was me who had this problem and why they hadn’t been given to some young girl desperate for a cleavage.

I was startled by a knock on the door from Em who was telling me that breakfast was ready. I washed and cleaned my teeth and put on a gown from the hook that Em had left with the new towels. It was a silk material that seemed to set off my nipples again. I wrapped it around me and tied the tape. I dampened my hair and pushed it back and then went through to join Em.

Breakfast with Em is a big event. She treats it as her main meal of the day and since I was famished again I wasn’t complaining. The fruitjuice was refreshing and whilst the cereals were a bit more healthy than the ones mum buys I liked them. Less sugar and lots of ruffage was Em’s preference. I can eat anything these days so they went along well with the yoghurt and figs before she cooked two eggs over easy to accompany the brownbread toast. I could get used to this.

As I cleared the plate I was suddenly conscious of the gown gaping open and I was sure that Em had been staring because she suddenly turned her head and shot over to the sink with her plate. Damn. I I should have taken care to get up early and fix my tape.

Em never said anything but I felt embarrassed so I excused myself to use the bathroom to take a shower. I felt bad for not helping Em but I couldn’t look her in the eye just yet just incase she’d had an eyeful.

As I soped myself in the shower I looked at my smooth body and not only did I have the boob problem but I needed to harden my stomach muscles and get rid of the soft tum and maybe I could work on my butt a bit and tone up whilst I was in Manchester. I wanted to be as slim as the hot guys who attracted so much attention these days whichever club I frequented.

As I wrapped the tape around my chest I pulled it extra tight and then I selected a black t shirt and an open shirt that matched my jeans.

Em said I looked OK but that I should wear trousers not jeans and better to leave my trainers behind so wear some shoes. I only had one pair with me so the match wasn’t perfect. Em said she’d have to help me a bit and once I’d got the training gear from the gym she’d treat me to new trainers to match.

She seemed to focus on my chest area a few times and she almost said something before we left but must have had second thoughts. She chatted about her friend and what I should talk about in the meeting I’d be having with her. I had to show confidence and a keenness to learn from the experience and not just treat it as a job.

We arrived in about 15 mins with Em showing me the best way to walk there that was a more direct route and took about the same time. I guessed that was her way of saying I had to make my own way and not rely on her as chauffeur.

The gym was owned by a hotel chain and was very impressive. I was looking forward to working there and taking advantage of the facilities and I hadn’t even started.
 

---

 
 
To Be Continued...
 

Summer with Em — Part 2
By Julie D Cole

Em left me in the waiting area and went through to the bar/coffee shop so that she didn’t interfere with my meeting with Rebecca. The receptionists were very friendly, acknowledging me even though they were busy taking calls and probably making reservations for exercise classes. The older girl was called Maggie and she pointed me to a seat outside the office. I was a bit nervous because I’m not much good in interviews but at least I only had to be polite and the job was pretty much secure.

Then Rebecca appeared from the office and I must admit that I was taken aback. I was expecting a middle aged woman for some reason or other but I guessed that she was around Em’s age and obviously worked out. She was very trim and her skirt was fitted and tight at tight at the knees and I noticed that she was married. She was wearing platform soles so she appeared quite tall and when I stood up she seemed taller than me by a few inches until I remembered mum’s training. ‘Stand up straight and pull your shoulders back.’

Ow. I shouldn’t take notice and I didn’t really like to accentuate my chest. Anyway the chest strapping pulled tight and hurt a bit. She looked quite tanned as if she’d been on vacation but then I supposed she could use the tanning rooms at the gym. That would be a sight to see and I felt myself staring a bit. I couldn’t help it because her short sleeved blouse showed her upper arms and they looked a bit muscular so she probably worked out a bit. They were just toned enough without being unfeminine and maybe I might achieve the same if I got chance to train a bit to lose my tummy and boobs.

She had a firm handshake so my wrist went a bit limp as we shook hands and whilst I was still a little mesmerized but at least I managed to stutter a few pleasantries as she escorted me to the office. She offered me a drink but I declined and it was a bit difficult to concentrate. I couldn’t take my eyes away from her breasts because the top buttons of her blouse weren’t fastened. I thought that if I was a woman I’d probably do the same. I had a strange tickling sensation in my nipples as if they wanted to see some fresh air.

Rebecca was really beautiful and looked as if she’d just come out of a salon. I’d expect there to be a lot of male members at this gym if she was the Manageress. She told me that she used the gym several times a week during the quieter periods and that all staff had free passes but that it had to be arranged on a rota basis. I found out later that she did use the clubs tanning rooms and salon so she certainly got full advantage out of her job that I reckoned must save her a fortune. That was a benefit I hadn’t valued and I was already happy with the hourly rate and the number of hours available. I could soon save up if I worked extra hours that I set as my target.

My eyes dropped again to the beautiful cleavage and I could sense every breath she was taking and I wanted to touch my own boobs for some reason but I knew that had to resist the urge. The tape around my chest was getting rather tight again so I re-positioned myself on my chair to avoid the full frontal stare that I was doing so I could hear what Rebecca was saying.

Wow I couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I staying at a great place with aunt Em but her friend was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. How lucky was her husband. I wondered what he was like and then I noticed a framed photograph of a muscular guy. ‘That’s my husband Bret. He’s training for competition right now so I don’t see much of him at home. He’s in here for hours each day after work.’ He had man boobs too but they were all muscle and I couldn’t help feeling that this was what might happen to me if I trained hard. I wasn’t sure I wanted to have a freakish look like this and I wasn’t interested in heavy muscle like this.

She made me laugh. ‘He’s expensive to keep and it costs us a fortune at the supermarket. We go almost every day. He’s a hunk though isn’t he?’

I thought a bit before deciding to just nod. I was thinking to myself that he might be a bit jealous if any body looked at his wife. Not that I had any chance of course, but something about Rebecca certainly switched me on.

My nipples seemed to be bursting through the tape by now and I was sure that she could see that I was hiding something under my shirt. I hoped that she wouldn’t ever find out and I felt I had to start training as soon as possible.

The formalities started. First she asked me to tell her about myself and why I was interested in the job. I followed Ems advice and said I liked training and swimming and I was thinking about a career Leisure Management or Fitness training. She encouraged me to say a bit more about it and that I should take full advantage of my time there and watch and learn. She said I should take notice of how staff treated customers and that I might benefit from some time on the front desk as well as in the cafeteria because I’d experience how to handle all types of people and deal politely with the grumpy ones.

She seemed satisfied with me so she said it was OK to start the following day and that one of the staff would show me around and introduce me as well as arranging for training kit and a tracksuit. She then just said ‘What bust size are you. Oh sorry I mean what chest size.’

It was an innocent mistake. Well I thought it was.

Sarah who was the second girl on the desk then came in and shook hands. ‘Hi Sarah this is Kim who’ll be starting with us tomorrow. Will you do the grand tour and sort out some training gear. Maybe you can go through to the pool as well and meet James so that he knows he’s got a new assistant. I told him already but he’ll have forgotten’

‘Hi Kim, pleased to meet you.’ She had a bit of a squeaky voice but she seemed very nice. She had a really nice smile and I just loved her glasses and said so. She blushed a bit but it was true. They suited her.

I was given an entrance tab and introduced to Maggie and to another girl called Vicky who came out of the office behind reception to cover for Sarah. She showed me the staff locker room where we kept personal belongings and it was mixed so any changing was done in the public changing rooms.

Then Sarah took a key and opened a cupboard that was full of equipment and also the training gear and first aid and spare towels etc.

‘What size are you Kim, I guess a size 12 so what bust size?’ looking me up and down.

I must have gone bright red befoe Sarah said ‘I’m sorry but you are a girl aren’t you?’

‘No I’m not. Kim is a boys name and no way am I a girl.’

Sarah was embarrassed and so was I . She couldn’t speak except to say sorry 15 times. Then we laughed about it and I said I’d definitely be cutting my hair now. She asked me to forgive her and not to say anything and she’d make it absolutely clear. She said she was going to take me into the female changing rooms as well so she was glad she didn’t do that first.

I couldn’t do anything except make light of it and I said I was disappointed not to get the chance.

So together we managed to find the right size male kit and Sarah just kept giggling.

‘I’ll show you soon. I’ll be needing bigger sizes once I get in training. How about swimming shorts? Do you have them.’

‘sorry Kim dear only ladies costumes today.’

She was joking of course and I received two pairs of the standard yellow swimming trunks and two pairs of white shorts both of which matched the red shirts with the Company logo.

The rest of the tour went smoothly except I had to find my way through the mens locker room and the showers to meet Sarah at the entrance to the pool area that also had sauna and steam rooms as well as 3 jacuzzis. Three different temperature settings and each one had two or three people in of both sexes.

I was relieved to see that the mens locker room had two private changing cubicles where I felt I’d be able to change more discreetly until my boobies were down to an acceptable size.

Upstairs in the gymnasiums there were all types of exercise machines and three different sections as well as a room full of exercise bikes. Several men and two women were in the heavy lift training area and they were all quite muscular. It looked like this gym was popular with weight lifters training for forth coming competitions that Sarah said took place each year in Manchester. She told me that Rebeccas husband was the middle weight champion for the North West of England and was hoping to qualify for the National Championships. I was beginning to doubt whether I would have courage to train alongside these guys and alongside the two women in fact. Why do women want to train like this?

Everybody seemed nice so Sarah took me for a coffee where Em was waiting whilst chatting to Rebecca.

Sarah kept sniggering a bit each time Rebecca asked if she’d shown me certain facilities. ‘Yes we’ve seen everything except the ladies changing rooms.’

‘Oh good. So you are ready to start then? Do you have your paperwork and a P45 form? Have you worked before?

I had so I sorted out everything and after our coffee Em excused us and we headed off into Manchester to do some shopping.’

To be continued……

Summer with Em
Part 3
As we left Em was more excited than I was. She couldn’t wait to give me feedback. From my point of view I wasn’t too worried whether or not I’d given a good impression. I had just assumed the job was mine but because of Em’s friendship with Rebecca. Apart from not being able to concentrate very well because of reaction in my chest to the sight of Rebecca’s cleavage it would have been a non event. I felt another tingle in my nipples just thinking about it.
‘Well Kim you did really well. Bec’s was well impressed. It looks like you’ve made a great first impression. If you work hard you might even get more hours of work if you need it right through the rest of the term breaks’.
It wasn’t exactly unexpected since I’d not seen any other candidates but if she had been impressed then I wondered how she thought I had felt. Anyway it was good luck for me because the interview wasn’t as nerve racking as it should have been and I could relax. I guess we all need this chance to get a friendly interview that gives us confidence for the next time. Mom used to say jobs were always available if you want them but say it easy. Maybe paid work wasn’t difficult to find in her day.
Yes I was lucky since it would be a good reference in the future. I couldn’t wait to see Rebecca in the gym working out. If I got chance of course.
I wondered if Em could sense what I was thinking. ‘Kim. I think you noticed that Bec’s is a bit special. She’s not your average Health Club Manageress is she?
‘No, she’s beautiful. I didn’t know what to expect and even though she is a lot older than me I felt she understands young people. How do you know her so well. She’s married and you’re single?’
I found out they’d been friends since school. They weren’t exactly best friends but after school they hung around in a small group along with 3 or 4 other girls who had stayed friends but didn’t seem to include Em in their social life. I wondered why?
Em told me she hadn’t seen much of the others except Rebbeca since her wedding when they were all bridesmaids. They all knew Rebeccas’ husband because they’d joined a gym together where he was a personal trainer. Rebecca had made a play for him immediately and Em and the others soon lost interest in training because she was getting all the attention. Em stayed a member longer than the others but it felt like something had gone on between them all that had hurt aunt Em.
Now she seemed to hang out with a couple of friends from her university and one was a guy but nothing special by the sound of it.
Then the conversation switched back to Rebbecca and her husband. I shook my head from side to side. “She’s a great advert for anybody thinking about joining a gym to keep fit. If I had boobs I’d want to show them off too.’
What was I saying? I hoped Em didn’t catch on but she did seem to look me up and down and I felt she had X ray eyes and was looking straight through my shirt at the erect nipples pushing their way out. She just smiled and responded.
‘She’s done wonders for the club but not all the women members feel comfortable around her when she’s training because she is in good shape. Also from a fitness point of view she has a lot of stamina and can beat most men when it comes to the exercise bikes and the weights. Maybe you saw her husband who is a fitness fanatic. He can compete with her but just look at the size of him.’
‘Yeah he is a big guy but I’d rather look like Becks through fitness than him. Oh I didn’t mean it like that’ as I colored up. ‘I meant better to be lean and fit than huge and busting out of your body.’
‘Ha Ha, you don’t think Becks is busting out of her body then?’
I knew exactly what she meant. My nipples tingled again as I thought about Becks open blouse and I smiled and nodded. I had to touch them. I couldn’t help myself and I was lost in my thoughts. I wanted to remove the tapes and be free.
‘Do you need the bathroom Kim?.... Kim do you need the bathroom or something?’
‘oh sorry, yes sorry.’
I dashed across to the mens room and into the first cubicle slamming the door closed to give me the privacy I needed. I stood with my back against the door stroking my manboobs. I had to set them free and I undid the tape and unwound the bandage. Oh I touched my breasts and the solid nipples that seemed to be twice as big as when I’d left the apartment that morning. I had to stroke them and I felt a dampness below. I couldn’t help it since this was a wonderful sensation. Absolutely wonderful as I slid down the door to sit on the floor of the cubicle. I’d never felt like this before and as looked down at my chest stroking it gently.
I removed my teeshirt completely to let them get air and after a few minutes I thought I’d better check my briefs out and clean myself.
What was I going to do now?
I opened the door carefully and nobody was in the bathroom. I stepped out and looked in the mirror. Wow was this me? Were these really mine? Surely I had to sort out how to deal with them without strapping. Oh my goodness I liked the freedom and whist my nipples softened a bit as soon as I put my t shirt on they became erect again. Oh sod it. I can’t do anything about it and I was sure Em realized I was well stacked so I decided to bin the strapping and the tape and meet her.
‘Wow Kim. Is that you inside there. I’m sorry but I can’t help but comment. Is that all you? ‘
‘Oh Em yes I’m so embarrassed. They seem to be getting bigger every day and I’ve tried to hide them but today they seem to have a mind of their own.’
We laughed so I felt less embarrassed and Em got hold of my hand and said we should just go and have a quiet talk somewhere in private.
We drove to the Shopping Centre and Em parked the car. Neither of us said anything and I put a sweater around my shoulders as a protective cover. But I wanted to look at them so in the end I let it slip back. Em kept glancing across.
‘You know Kim ,when I was going through puberty I experienced the same body changes. In your case maybe it may be modern fertilizers they use to force crops that seem to be affecting a lot of men. Too much estrogen so if you want to try to stop the growth it might be you can change to organic foods.’
‘I’ve tried to some extent and even cut out full fat milk, high starch foods especially white bread. But I feel like I’m losing the battle. My last resort based on my doctors recommendation is more exercise to try to build up my shoulders and chest with muscle. I’m weak as you can see.’
‘Pity because many a young girl would swop places instantly to have chance for a good bosom with a nice cleavage. Your arms are slim and you have narrow shoulders for a man. Pity you can’t just wear loose tops or a ladies fit sports shirt that has more room. ’
‘I was offered ladies fit but I declined. I suppose my hair doesn’t help my image’

‘Why worry just go with the flow and if people are confused then as long as you behave yourself why worry?’

‘Great idea but then I’d cause a problem in which ever changing room I used. Anyway Bec’s hired me as a male attendant.’

We laughed a lot and walked out to find a coffee shop with a quiet corner. Em linked arms with me and said not to worry about it just hang loose. I wrapped my sweater around my waist as we walked because it was warm in the shopping centre. I found myself comparing my chest with women and girls and Em started teasing.

‘Look over there. She’d swop with you don’t you think. What about a bigger pair if you swopped with her. Imagine if you had a bust that size then you’d have something to complain about. ‘

‘Oh yeah. I guess if I was female I’d have nothing to complain about really but I am finding that they are a little sore and very sensitive.’

‘We’ll get you some bust cream that young mothers use to rub in and maybe a training bra instead of the bandages to try. What do you think?’

‘I guess I’m game for anything at the moment. Anything except the tight bandages.’

‘Well how about we buy a couple of female loose fit tops and a sports bras as an alternative to the training bra? You’re past the training stage really. We should take a look and get you measured properly.’

‘I can’t no. A bra will make me look even more girly.’

We settled down for coffee in Marks & Spencers in the end and shared a snack.

‘Look Kim let’s just experiment a bit when we get back to the apartment since I want to let you come to terms with the difficulties and see if I can help. Why don’t I meet you back at the car in an hour whilst I run a few errands.’

‘OK. I’m not going anywhere though. Not like this and this t shirt is a bit tight that accentuates the problem. The material isn’t so good either. ‘

‘Never mind we’ll sort that out.’

Em left me to sit playing on my i-phone.

An attendant was clearing tables and she turned and said ‘Have you finished dear?’

My God does she think I’m a girl now?’ Don’t be stupid it’s a common phrase in the North of England. We are all dears.

I sauntered back to the car looking in some of the shop windows. I strolled past some of the women’s clothing shops rather than rushing by as usual. Maybe I was getting turned on again by the nice feeling in my chest and the tingle in my nipples.

Em turned up with several bags and just said ‘Come on let’s go. You weren’t going out tonight with anybody were you?

To be continued….

by Julie D Cole

As we drove back to Em’s apartment I tried to find out what she had purchased but all she would say was ‘later’. She seemed to have a slight smirk on her face all the way home and occasionally she would smile and shake her head. I tried guessing but she didn’t react. I wasn’t used to being spoiled and Em had said she thought we should experiment a bit.

I needed something because once again I looked down at the two mounds with the safety belt nestled between them. I looked as if I had a bust the same size as Em with the belt between them and I found myself comparing.

It did have an effect on me again and my nipples were tingling and in fact they were sticking out like coat pegs or Chapel Hat Pegs as some school friends had often remarked when leering over girls on a cold day on the sports field. I never expected that I might look the same and wondered if it was some sort of punishment. But I’d never leered or ogled the girls and I certainly never jeered at them. Maybe some of the guys deserved this retribution but surely not me?

I couldn’t help but touch them and as subtle as I tried to be I saw that Em was watching from the corner of her eye. She just stayed quiet.

Finally we arrived at the car park area and Em reached over to open the glove box gently touching me with her arm and apologising as I tried to breathe in and pull back. She smiled and said ‘Sorry Kim, but you do seem to be sticking out a bit. I’ll try to be more careful next time.’

‘Err, it’s OK I don’t know whats happening to me. I can’t seem to stop them and today they have been a little bit uncomfortable and slightly sore.’

‘Never mind I bought you a few things and also some creams to rub into them that will help a lot. I can swear by them since I used them myself when I went through puberty.’

I carried some of the bags as well as the kit that I’d been given as we headed for the reception to the apartment. I was taken aback a bit by a comment from the Porter ‘Hi girls. Had a good day shopping.’

‘I turned to answer but Em interrupted and said ‘Yeah we’re ready for a shower and a glass of something whilst we enjoy the evening sunshine on the balcony.’

‘Em I’m getting fed up of this. I gotta do something about these things. This is getting to be too frequent. Do you think I need to see a doctor or something? ’

She just laughed and said it was late puberty and I should let things take their course. She said that in fact I should be flattered and enjoy the complements and learn how to exploit the situation like women do and be girly if I wanted since I was a long way from home and she’d not say anything to anybody or make fun of me.

I found this confused me even more but Em just followed up by saying I was lucky not unlucky since many men now have soft features but never get chance to exploit them. She remarked that it wasn’t just my chest that was causing all the confusion and I should emphasise my feminine look and not try to hide it.

As we entered the apartment I stopped to look in the hall mirror. I guess my long hair and slight build were contributing and I suppose I did have a feminine, small and slightly turned up nose and dimpled cheeks with a soft jawline. No Desperate Dan or Bluto features and no beard growth like the guys at college. But then, as Em was suggesting this look was OK these days since the girls I had become friends with seemed to prefer their men like those in the many boy bands that were around rather than the bulky muscular types like Bec’s husband.

I guess I was lagging behind a bit so Em shouted from the lift doorway ‘Come on Kim. Stop preening and come and freshen up and we’ll chill out with a couple of gin and tonics and then open a bottle of wine with dinner.

I decided to freshen up with a shower since Em had some messages on the phone and some calls to make so I got out of the way for a while.

I stripped to my shorts whilst the water ran until it was warm. All of the bathroom supplies were scented that was natural I suppose and since I didn’t want to wet my hair I found a shower cap. It was flowered but since I was alone I figured it didn’t matter. I stepped into the shower and as I glanced towards the full mirror that dominated the shower room I thought I saw a woman looking at me. It was me!

I stared at my reflection that I rarely did at home since we had few mirrors and none this size. I looked at the smooth body in front of me as I dropped my shorts and at the small pert breasts that had sprouted from the puppy fat chest during recent months. Sure they probably were accentuated by the slim waist and thin arms that needed some attention at the gym. I had to try to eat more and hoped some weight training might help. But on the other hand I never saw a woman completely naked and posed a little bit as if the reflection was a real person. Should I just accept the situation as Em had suggested since I was a stranger in these parts and I was new at the leisure centre so maybe people would take me as they found me.

I was enjoying the opportunity to pout and pose and gradually I stepped forward to take a closer look at the bust that was so evident. With such mounds it seemed to be a girl staring back from the mirror. No body hair to speak of and even my eyebrows were only slight and my eyes were light green and one of my best features according to mum.

Was this really me? I stroked my nipples with the palm of my hands. Wow the sensation was wonderful. I stood sideways on to see how I looked and then turned and looked over my shoulder. I had a firm butt and I stroked it and wondered why it was so firm since I hardly did anything except walk and climb stairs so I was lucky I supposed. Some of the guys at college were real couch potatoes by comparison.
Then I took off the cap and tussled my hair hardly believing the reflection was me and starting to believe that maybe I ought to exploit the look a bit rather than fight it. After all I might end up as some hairy monster with a paunch and a double chin like my uncles. I shuddered since I didn’t want that at all.

What was happening to me? Whilst at times it was embarrassing I was fascinated. No wonder I was teased and bullied by some of the guys at college. I couldn’t help but shudder at the embarrassment I’d felt each time a few of them had decided to strip me naked whenever they met me in the changing rooms. They told me I was in the wrong dressing rooms and would toss me out or into the swimming pool. They even carried me to the centre of the large lawn outside the main entrance and often pushed me into the female dressing rooms if no tutors were around.

I suppose it made me reluctant to go to gym classes so then I hated anything to do with sport. I could tolerate the bullying but I could never undress in front of others yet here I was taking a job at a health club where it would be difficult to avoid undressing with others. . I decided I’d use the private cubicles and never strip naked whilst others were around. At least I was around adults so I hoped I’d overcome my shyness.

I thought it would be nice to chat more with Em and let her advise me since I was sure she’d not let me embarrass myself. As I stepped back into the shower and replaced the shower cap I knew why I was being mistaken for a girl. It didn’t feel so embarrassing to stand naked and admire my figure and I smiled because at first my natural reaction was to cover my chest and bend at the knees. I knew it was my fear of showing the bust. Ha Ha. Very girly. What a stupid thing to do. I was slim and looked OK and maybe lots of people would swop places. I blew a kiss at the girl in the mirror and then nearly jumped out of my skin as Em knocked on the door and shouted to hurry up and questioning what was taking so long.

I answered and was soon soaping myself and enjoying the warm water running over my new breasts that seemed to respond. I soaped them even more and stroked them. The soreness had disappeared for now.

I towelled myself dry and put on a dressing gown to go to my room to dress.

As I passed Em she remarked how nice I looked now that I was pink and fresh from the shower. She suggested that I join her for a drink before dressing since she had already prepared two gin and tonics and set out a dish of olives. So I just excused myself to get some fresh shorts at which she handed me a pack of ladies briefs that were marked as boy cut. ‘Here let’s throw your scruffy gear away and try these. Maybe you should invest in a better style of underwear if you are working at the leisure centre and using my laundry room.

Come on let’s sit out in the sunshine and have a chat for a while.

I took care to sit properly although the dressing gown was gaping open a bit exposing my legs. Worse than that I had to take care not to expose my breasts and tried to hold the gown as best I could. Em laughed and said I shouldn’t be shy and hoped I might find the courage to show how the briefs looked and particularly to let her examine my new bust to understand what was happening.

At first I didn’t answer and focused on the lives and the gin and tonic that soon disappeared and was replaced by a fresh one.

We chatted a bit about mum and then about my new job before I started to relax and pluck up the courage to stand in front of em and remove the gown.

‘Wow. Kim you look great. Those briefs are perfect and just look at your beautiful bust. Oh Kim let me help you please.’

To be continued……

Summer with Em - Chapter 5
by Julie D Cole

My immediate reaction was to pick up the gown and cover myself. ‘What do you mean? Em I don’t have a bust, I’m just overweight.’

As I said it I looked down at problem area and they seemed to be getting softer and with my birds eye view they seemed to be sticking out a lot more than even a few days ago. It wasn’t like they were sagging or anything. If I had was in a hundred yards race right now I certainly would have an advantage.

“ Em this is just me. I have to solve this by working hard at the gym and changing my diet. Look at me now. Em I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Oh Kim what so wrong about it? Anyway I’m sorry but I didn’t mean it quite like that. You know that I wouldn’t deliberately offend you. But since you are my nephew I do care and I’m telling you the truth. Right now, fresh from the shower in that robe you look rather beautiful. You are miles from home and only me knows you around here so why not just enjoy yourself. You might regret missing out on a wonderful experience later if you are successful with your exercise. If I were you I’d make the best of the situation.”

“Em please. You’re making me feel worse. What do you mean anyway”

‘Kim just think about it. So what if you are a little bit top heavy at the moment. Why not embrace it rather than fight it? It’s not a bad thing to have a bust and I’m an expert. Both your mum and I had difficulty at school because we developed early but she dealt with it and she taught me how to deal with it too. Why not let me help you?”

“Em, it’s not the same. You’re a girl or a woman now. I am out of the other drawer. I don’t want boys, or girls for that matter, learing at me or making lewd comments.”

“Sure you don’t but who around here knows you are my nephew and you could dress in a neutral way so that people just accept you as they find. I know you want to deal with it as if you have two great carbuncles that need lancing but it doesn’t work like that. It might just be a phase and I’ve read about lots of boys with this experience through adolescence. How about we find a way for you to just enjoy the experience, for the time being anyway whilst you are here? Is it so bad to have a figure like this?’

‘Em, what exactly do you mean? It feels so strange. Are you saying don’t hide them and dress in a more feminine way? Are you saying that I’m gay?”

“No, I’m not saying anything of the sort but it would be fun for me if you let me change your style and Em you up a bit. I think you would have made a great looking niece and we could have such fun together. I would have liked to have a sister to look after and I always wished your mum would have a girl. I used to nurse you when you were a baby and I remember taking you out to the park in your push chair. You were quite pretty for a boy and lots of people weren’t sure.”

“ Em now I’m embarrassed. I threw a lot of mums photos away. She used to tease me.”

“Well I’ve got lots in my album and I’ve copied a lot to my computer if you’d like to see them?”
I guess I had no choice. Em delighted in showing me the ones where I was at my prettiest and some where I was dressed as a Pixie for Halloween. I’d forgotten that one!!”
“ Em you see my problem. Now it’s even worse since I look like a girl pretending to be a boy. But really I don’t want to turn into a girl and that’s how it feels at the moment. I don’t want to be part girl and part boy … to be the butt of jokes. Why can’t I just be normal like everybody else?’

‘Kim you are like a lot of other boys so what is normal? I’m sure that it’s just a phase of your body development. Anyway why not be positive about it and look at it as a nice thing not a bad thing? Not many guys are gifted with good looks and a slim body like you who end up as models. You could end up rich and famous. Anyway lots of people are fighting to lose weight or have big butts or other problems like beer guts to contend with or big ears or a large nose for example. You have been blessed with a slim body and good looks so why not interpret this that you are a special one?’

‘Oh Em I wish I could think like that but I don’t feel special right now. I feel like some guy who has been punished and has to hide. Maybe somebody put a spell on me. What did I do wrong to be a boy who has boobs?’

‘Ha Ha. You did nothing wrong. We can explore a bit together so I can show you how beautiful you are and how blessed you are. If you trust me then with a bit of Em magic I can let you see how to enjoy the benefits of looking good.’

‘Em, I know you are trying to help but what possible enjoyment can come from this?’

‘Well come on just leave it to me. Since you got off the train I’ve wanted to get my hands on your hair and tidy it up. Do you trust me to trim it and give it a bit more shape? Then maybe you will see yourself as I can see you and if you don’t like it then it’s easy to correct. Come on we aren’t going anywhere this evening so what have you got to lose?”

“Err nothing I suppose but can you cut hair?”

“Come on most women know how to cut and style hair. It comes naturally and I’ve spent enough time in salons or with friends as we tried different looks.” I might even put a few streaks in it to give it a better sheen. Come on let’s do it”

I nervously sat in the chair as if I was about to have a tooth extracted. Em said it looked as if I was sitting in an electric chair and offered to strap me in.

Then she dampened it and set to work. She put a screen across the lower part of the mirror so I couldn’t watch and pull back and wrapped a towel around me so at least she couldn’t see me sticking out from the dressing gown.

I chattered nervously as she worked on me gradually I relaxed and crossed my legs taking the occasional sip of wine. I never really got to know Em properly because she had departed suddenly when I was only 5 years old. It seemed to be a family argument but not with mum.

Em turned the chair to look at me. ‘Mmm. Not bad if I say so myself. I missed my way.”

‘Can I take a look?’

‘No not yet. Let me just tidy your eyebrows a little bit. I promise not too much. Yes that looks better. You look amazing.”

She stepped back and then removed the screen. I looked and for a minute I didn’t recognise myself.

‘See what I mean? Wait a minute let me just give you a hint of lippy.”

“Em. I can’t stay like this. I look like a girl.”

“course you can. At least lets carry on a bit and see if I can amaze you some more. Are you OK so far?”

“I guess so but I have to change back later.”

To be continued……..

Summer with Em — Chapter 6
By
Julie D Cole

‘Look let’s order in for dinner and whilst it’s on the way I’ll have chance to finish what we started. I’ll open some red wine so it can breathe a bit and you take a look at these menus. What do you want, Chinese, Indian, Mexican or just Pizzas?’

I settled for the Chinese and as we considered options I filled out an order request. Em opened the wine and we rang in the order so it could be delivered in 40 minutes.

‘Good just enough time to make you look like my niece and we’ll test out on the delivery boy who will probably be Sky. He’s the owners son and they are Chinese rather than from Hong Kong. He’s very slim with soft skin and I’d love to know how he keeps it like that. He’s quite a charmer so be careful when you answer the door.’

‘No way Em. I’m not showing myself to anybody. It’s just fun between us and I’m not comfortable to answer the door to anybody.’

‘Come on Kim. You’ll be working tomorrow and you can’t hide in the Liesure Centre. You’ll be the centre of attention in the Centre!! HaHa. You are who you are I’m afraid and I think you should just relax and let people take you as they find you.’

‘Well OK then I’ll answer the door to see what happens but I’m not going to dress as a girl so I’ll ruffle up my hair when we finish.’

‘Well let’s see what you look like first. Here is a glass of red wine. What do you think? Nice and smooth isn’t it? It’s my favourite wine from Italy from near Venice.’

‘It’s nice but I already had 2 G&T’s so I feel a bit tipsy and it’s still early.’

‘Don’t be a wimp. We will be eating soon anyway and wine is good for you.’

‘I hope so since I’m getting hungry and I don’t want to have a headache on my first day.’

I was ushered back to the chair in front of the mirror. Can I ask you to try on a gift that I bought you today?’

‘OK what is it? I hope it’s nothing too girly.’

‘Not too girly. It’s a bra actually and I hope it’s the right size I had to guess.’

I jumped up. ‘No way. I said not too girly.’

‘Well at this size it’s not girly it’s more womanly. Just try it please and see how nice it feels to be properly supported. Come on take off the gown’.

She put a vest like thing over my head and pulled my arms through the arm holes that were more like thin straps. The vest fell over me and fitted quite snuggly. My breasts were supported by something inside the vest as she adjusted it. The material was soft.

‘What’s this Em it’s like a girls vest? It seems to have a bra built into it and it makes my chest more prominent like a bust. Look at me. It looks like I have two things trying to escape.’

‘It’s a Camisole Top with built in Bra cups. I thought theis would make you feel more comfortable to sit around in and I bought some matching shorts.’

‘Em are these what you just bought or are they yours?’

“Yes I bought them for you so come on put on the shorts before Sky arrives. I want to touch up your face a bit yet.’

‘Em you are turning me into a girl. Just look at me. I’ve got breasts like melons in this thing and I should put my strapping on and a loose top.’

‘Don’t be such a spoilsport. Let finish at least and then decide. Come on get into these shorts. I got you two more pairs incase you decide to wear them tomorrow instead of those boy shorts you got. Then maybe if you like them Becks will arrange to exchange the freebies.’

‘Em these are a bit tight and they are really tight at the front. How can I pull the zipper up? They are too small.’

‘No they aren’t you just aren’t used to them. Lay down on the floor and arch your back. Pull them around your bum a bit and then pull the zip.’

‘But the zips the wrong way round and I’m right handed. Ow look whats happened. It looks like it’s gone. It almost brought tears to my eyes then.’

‘Mmm stand up they look like a perfect fit. Great they will do fine and as you can see they stretch a bit so they fit a variety of shapes. You do seem to have disappeared so what happened to it?’

‘It’s there it just isn’t so big with the restraints of the pants you gave me as well as the shorts. I’m sure my voice is higher now. How can I use the bathroom like this?’

‘We’ll worry about that later. You just have to sit to pee like we do. Mean I don’t have to put up a sign to remind you to close the lid.’

I wasn’t sure what would happen if I coughed but then they did look better than boy shorts and they were nice around the back as I turned to look at myself. The top felt quite comfortable. I liked the material and maybe I could wear this under my T shirt tomorrow instead of using my tape. At least I was free to move and if I had to dive in the pool to save anybody I could take it off quickly.

‘Em you are enjoying this aren’t you? Look at me now. How can I convince anybody I’m a guy wearing clothes like this that show off these as assets?’

‘Shut up and let me just touch up your face a bit. Look I won’t hurt you and no need for too much make-up tonight. We can save it for another day.’

A little eye shadow, some lippy and some powder to my face and hey presto she stood back to admire her handiwork.

‘Well you are just as beautiful as I knew you’d be. Come to my bedroom and take a look.’

‘Em it’s crazy. I’m more like a girl than ever. Are you sure we should be doing this. It seems wrong and what if mum found out?’

‘Don’t be silly Kim. Anyway who’s going to tell her? Do you mind if I take a photo for us to look back on one day?’

‘Em what are you doing that’s your i-pad and you are recording?’

‘Oh just walk about a bit and be a little more co-operative. You are like the sister I always wanted. Don’t you think we look a bit alike at least? I wish I was your age again and know what I know now.’

‘Em I hope you delete it afterwards. Can I just look please?’

‘Here this is Kim the girl and no sign of Kim the boy is there?’

‘No. It’s mad. I shouldn’t let you do this and I hope you don’t show anybody.’

‘I might. What’s it worth. HaHa?

Then the doorbell rang. ‘Go on Kim answer it please and I’ll record it.’

‘I haven’t any shoes or slippers.’

‘Here put these Mules on and the heels will help with the walk.’

‘How do you manage with these?’ Hi.’

‘Wow who are you? Here is your delivery order? Shall I bring it in to avoid you spilling the sauces. Is Em in? What’s your name?’

‘Kim. My name is Kim and Em’s my auntie. I’m just visiting for a while.’

‘Great I hope to see you again then. That’s twenty two pounds for cash. Do you need any change?

To be continued ……………………

Summer with Em — Part 7
By
Julie D Cole

‘There you see. You certainly got a reaction there. Did you enjoy the attention?’

‘Well I must admit he did seem to react normally but he was staring a bit. I didn’t really know what to do.’

‘Well you could have fooled me. As far as I could see you reacted as any girl would do and it just shows that the sexes are coming together and boys are a lot more feminine than they like to believe they are and who knows what will happen in another twenty years.’

‘But I didn’t do anything. I tried to be inconspicuous.’

‘Exactly you acted normally as we girls do and tried to be polite. You were careful not to send out any signals and you smiled coyly rather than enter into conversation. I wish I’d taken a photo, you looked so cute and you seemed completely at ease. You had him mesmerised and I might as well have been a vase on the table. Even though he normally chats me up he was eyeing you up and down from the moment he came through the door. I think he fancied you.’

‘No way. I didn’t do anything and he’s not my type. Err I mean I didn’t do anything to encourage him. Well I didn’t did I?’ I did feel a bit strange and I certainly wasn’t trying to attract him.’

‘I’m not saying you were but it’s natural to flirt a bit when you have gone to the trouble of applying make up and dressing nicely. It’s only natural that you’d want someone to take notice or we wouldn’t bother. It’s a good introduction for you and it shows that you have the looks to be who you want to be. I reckon with a little more coaching you will be able to go anywhere you like dressed as boy or girl and you might find you can have a lot of fun. In fact we can both have fun if you make use of those assets and your pretty face. I think you can be boy or girl but it might be easier if you try the other side for a while. It doesn’t have to be permanent.’

‘Well it is OK for a bit of fun but I’m not sure that I could get used to it and I do feel that it’s wrong.’

‘Come on Kim don’t be so concerned. I think you are lucky. I wish I’d had chance to see what life is like as a boy sometimes. Not many of us get the opportunities you can get so we never know what we missed. Aren’t you feeling pleased? Don’t you feel blessed rather than guilty?’

‘I don’t know really because it depends what people think when they realise.’

‘Come on be positive since it’s half the battle. Lets eat and then try a few other things on. I even have some clothes that are almost new. I was going to give them to charity that aren’t so comfortable these days and some training and gym wear that I don’t use nowadays. I’m sure you could make better use of it than me with your new job. I could have a word with Bec to let your feminine side come out. She is a great believer in the idea that men should learn what it’s like to live as a woman and she could see that you were hiding your bust during the interview.’

‘Em I feel embarrassed. Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘So what? There’s nothing to tell or to be ashamed of. Boy or girl is all the same to us. If anything we tend to reach out to protect you rather than make fun or ridicule you. These days it’s not unusual for girls to be more masculine and boys to be more feminine. It’s not a sin and it’s quite common. There aren’t so many bigoted people around these days. Maybe boys can just be boys or girls depending on their mood. Girls have been able to do as they like for a long time. I guess you are just catching up. I think if you go through with it I might even give it a try for myself. Do you think I could pass if I had a mostache?’

We laughed as she put some of her hair across her upper lip. She was pretty but she might just get away with it with a bit of padding and if she hid her boobs. We had a nice banquet together and then tidied up sharing the chores and chatting. It was nice to relax like this together and not have to worry about hiding my boobs. Em made me realise that these were assets rather than problems and I guess by the time we moved to her bedroom to try on the other new clothes I found myself trying to enhance my bust. I was grateful for the uplift bra that Em had bought based on her assessment of my size and she got it just about right. It was a snug fit and it felt like someone was hugging me and with a low cut vest we laughed because I had a cleavage to match Ems.

So that was it. I was hooked so to speak and not just with the bra. It was past midnight before we finally decided it was time for bed so we packed everything into spare drawers in my room and allocated one part of my wardrobe for future purchases. Next time I was to join Em so she didn’t have to guess sizes.

The next day it was back to boy clothes and I tried to comb my hair into as masculine a style as I could but it wasn’t easy after Em’s handiwork. I could do anything about the trimmed eyebrows that she’d shaped and if I tried to darken them with eyeliner they looked even more feminine. So I roughed them up as much as I could and ensured there was no trace of mascara on my eyelashes.

When Sarah met me it was obvious from her reaction that she liked the way I’d adjusted my appearance and she whispered that I looked beautiful and I should take care not to go into the mens locker room when two or three of the more sexually desperate men were changing. She showed me who they were on the computer. I was a bit taken aback when she asked me if I ever presented myself as a girl or dressed in womens clothes. I must have turned crimson so my stuttered response denying it fell on deaf ears. From that time Sarah said she’d accept me as her girlfriend and treat me as a female colleague rather than a male one.

How could I refuse? She is such a persuasive person and anyway nobody knew me so I could be as gay or as feminine as I liked according to Em since Becs had a policy of no prejudices.

So as the week progressed I left Em’s dressed as butch as possible ,as she put it, wearing my boy clothes but returned looking more like a girl dressed as a boy after Sarah had added a few things or made me change into one of her spare blouses. At work we spent most of our time in black trousers or slacks as Sarah started to call them. She brought me a pair from home to wear on the Thursday and they fitted OK and I preferred the softer material and the permanent creases. Three buttons at the waist and a left handed zipper gave them away but by that time most visitors were accepting me as a femboy and even as one of the girls in some cases. My badge just said Kim but also Sarah had used the style adopted by female staff rather than those for male staff members. It seemed she wanted me to enjoy myself and flaunt my bust since she was monitoring the expression on the faces of male guests. At the end of the week I was sure that I’d developed even more and might need to invest in a set of new bras two sizes bigger.

Since it was still late spring I had some low heeled black ankle boots that Em had ‘found’ to give me practice in walking in a more feminine way. I soon mastered the short steps and would walk across reception wiggling my butt to try to make Sarah laugh whilst she was tending customers.

When I got back to the apartment each evening that week Em would insist that I re-style my hair as she had cut it that meant damping it to get rid of the excess hairspray and gel. She must have had some training since it dried back to the shape as she’d styled it. She’d encourage me to change into casual slacks or cropped trousers with a top and she did like me to apply some lip gloss at least even if I’d resisted the full make-up. As the days passed I felt that I was becoming more comfortable as Kim the niece rather than Kim the nephew. It wasn’t so bad to be able to choose depending on my mood or how tired I was. Most nights my feet were aching because I wasn’t used to standing around so much and maybe the low heel was also a factor. On Thursday evening Em had booked a foot massage at the clubhouse attached to the apartment buildings. She was keen for me to try and so since she’d already paid the twenty pounds fee I had to accept.

Em insisted I wore a little more make-up and when we checked in it was obvious why. She’d registered me as her niece and introduced me as such to her friends at the reception. I was whisked away to a darkened room lit by candles and stumbled my way towards the large reclining chair and sank gratefully into it to let my eyes adjust. The girl who was doing the massage was from Malaysia and had lived in Manchester since she was in her early teens. She was beautiful and she knelt in front of me and filled the basin with warm softened water adding some oils and rose petals. Now I sat back as she gently lowered each of my feet into the water. It was bliss and she lifted each one in turn and pressed her knuckles to the underside of my feet and then seemed to push the built up stresses towards my toes before seemingly releasing them with a flick of her fingers. I wanted to cry out but I daren’t. It was wonderful and I closed my eyes and obviously fell into a sleep because she had to nudge me to bring me back to consciousness. She then tried to persuade me to have a pedicure but I felt that was just a bit too much for this visit and I didn’t feel comfortable spending Ems money without permission. We met in the reception and I hugged her to show my appreciation. She’d had a pedicure whilst I was having my treatment and proudly showed me the softness of her feet and the neat toenails. She asked if I wanted to come again the following week and offered the pedicure. I nodded enthusiastically. This new world was something else.

For work I started to use a shoulder bag that Em had offered me since she had so many. It had plenty of space to carry my i-phone and i-pad as well as the chargers that go with them so it was much more convenient than using a plastic carry bag from the local supermarket. The first time I used it Em teased me by putting a small make-up bag and some facial wipes in the inside pocket. As she said this was an essential kit ‘just for emergencies’ so no need to panic.

On Friday morning I had a message waiting for me when I signed in. I’d got a new locker key because I’d been transferred to the female staff locker room under instruction from Becs since she felt it more appropriate in the circumstances. What on earth was ‘more appropriate in the circumstances’ supposed to mean? It was like I’d been banished from the mens locker room and later I found out it was one of the contract personal trainers who’d complained and said it was embarrassing for me to be in with the men. What about me? I almost quit until Sarah calmed me down and said that Bec had asked all the female staff if they minded and 100% were in favour. I never saw any of the voting that had taken place on the day before. At least I was made welcome by most of the staff and Bec’s was supportive. I didn’t know what mum might think if she knew what was going on and I certainly wasn’t going to tell her. I had to prepare for the Skype calls to remove any make-up but she quickly spotted the new hairstyle. That’s the trouble with mums they don’t miss a trick.

At least the womens locker room was more spacious and it didn’t smell of sweaty training shoes and old jock straps. Not that all the ladies were perfect but at least they knew the importance of personal hygiene and how to operate a can of deodorant. At least I didn’t get stared at and there were no cutting remarks or lude comments. Whilst I could use the locker room I wasn’t allowed to use the toilet facilities that were out of bounds to me. Same applied to the mens bathroom so the solution was the disabled toilet in reception. Surprisingly the shower room was not out of bounds and it was connected to the main female shower room by a door which locked on our side. That gave an idea to Sarah who opened it to show me around the ladies changing area and showers at the end of our shift. We heard some voices coming through from the swimming pool and two massive girls walked in stripping as they did so. I was completely gob-smacked and frozen to the spot. They had been weight training upstairs and for a moment it looked as if two men had walked in. They were obviously very used to showing off their bodies because they acted as if we weren’t there. Then they started pushing each other and laughing as they flexed their muscles to boast about who was stronger. Sarah pulled my arm to uproot me and dragged me back through the door locking it behind us.

‘Wow. Who were they? Did you see their muscles. It’s just not fair and I’ve got bigger boobs than both of them. How do they do it? It must be the weight-lifting.

‘Com on Kim you don’t want to look like that do you. They must leave strange lives and I don’t get it. They are both quite beautiful in the face but they look ugly with all those muscles. They do tend to shower at the end of the day when the changing rooms are quiet and I’m not surprised. It’s like two men have come in sometimes. They train with Becs husband so not much chance that they’ll leave or move on to another gym.’

That experience apart I can’t say I disliked the arrangements and whilst I wasn’t comfortable on my first visit I found I had more in common with the female staff who at least could chat about most subjects and not just football or golf or which tattoo they were going to have on their body. There was some talk about the two bodybuilders who were nicknamed Bill & Ben and I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I wanted to take another look if I could since I needed to check out their chests to see what happened to their boobs. But I couldn’t just walk in so I decided the best way was to use the female dressing rooms and maybe I could pretend to be changing after going in the pool. I had to plan it so that was something to think about over the weekend. Maybe I’d do it on Sarahs day off.

By the Saturday I was ready for my own day off and I’d decided to sleep till noon. But Em had other ideas. We were going to have a shopping trip to the Trafford Centre and she’d arranged to meet some friends for lunch. She insisted I went with her and selected my outfit so it was easy to change whilst looking reasonably smart. It was the least I could do really but this was supposed to be a girly day and so it took us at least an hour to decide on outfits. Lucky we weren’t going anywhere special but then as I learned this was all part of the build-up.
To be continued…..
I

Summer with Em Chapter 8
By Julie D Cole
I’m just picking back up on this story that I neglected in error. I intent to complete it shortly.
……………………………………………………………………

Em decided I should wear a white tunic style top with several buttons that was loose fitting and extended half way down my thighs to cover any evidence of a bulge (not much to show) and it complemented a pair of her black high waist leggings that reached my ankles. Without my binding my breasts were clearly visible so Em produced a white sports bra. She thought it looked OK but would have preferred I wore a bra.

We had breakfast and Em was smiling constantly and made regular positive comments in an attempt to build my confidence. She didn’t think I’d have any problem entering the ladies dressing rooms whilst shopping nor the ladies restrooms and she checked my rear view to ensure I was wearing the right choice of panties. She wasn’t happy so I was sent to change and provided with could only be described as a G string.

I’m sure that my voice raised a couple of notches since it tucked my bits tightly and she was delighted with both front and rear views. It didn’t feel as bad as I expected it to feel and even sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen was comfortable. I crossed my legs that brought a nod of approval from Em.

‘Completely natural. All girl now. Are you confident to come with us now?’

‘I suppose so but I’m not sure what mum would say if she knew.’

‘ What she doesn’t know about she can’t worry about. It’s just a bit of fun. Treat it as a new experience that is part of growing up. Manchester has lots of men who enjoy womens fashions and take advantage of their looks. I’ve met loads so you’ll be fine.’

‘Shall I wear my trainers and I’ve no pockets for anything.’

‘No chance. Come with me let’s find you some shoes and you can borrow a bag. You’re not ready for heels yet but you can try a pair so you can see how good you look.’

I was surprised when she opened the wardrobe cupboard. It was filled top to bottom with shoes of all types and colours with an emphasis on tall heels like most young women. I shook my head as she lifted out two or three pairs to try on. It was like being in a shoe store filled with expensive ranges.

‘Em I can’t wear these they are your best shoes and they are so girly.How many shoes can you wear?’

‘Look I hardly get chance to wear most of them and they soon go out of fashion and I give lots to charity. These I’ve selected will soon be heading that way so even if you damage them I am unlikely to miss them. Come on let’s see you raise to my level in a pair of heels.’

‘If you are sure but I can’t let anybody see me in them. What would they think. Don’t they hurt your feet?’

‘All girls find that heels take a bit of getting used to but the advantages far outweigh any pain that it short term. Women walk a certain way with small steps and one foot in front of the other and I’ve noticed you walk a bit like that rather than taking large man steps. You’ll notice how good your legs look in a high heel that attracts glances from men. What’s wrong with that?’

‘For you nothing but I’m looking for men to look the other way when we go out. They might attack me as some sort of pervert.’

‘Don’t try to kid me you’ll love it. We all do. Come on let’s see how you are in these. A three inch heel is perfect for those legs and leggings. They have a strap so it means your are less likely to trip.’

I had played around in mums high heels when growing up so when I stood and took my first steps it wasn’t a problem. I walked across the bedroom glancing in the tall mirrored wardrobe front. Where was the boy?

‘Well done I told you that you had the right walking technique. Who taught you to walk in a straight line and put your feet one in front of the other with small steps?’

‘Nobody did but I’ve watched mum and her friends and she’s dragged me to a few fashion shows. The models were so tall and slim with long legs.’

‘Yes we are not built for modelling but that shouldn’t stop us wearing the same types of heels they wear. Some of my shoes are really high end. If I pass this selection to you it’s a good excuse for me to buy more when we are in the Trafford Centre. The girls won’t try to stop me.’

‘How do you wear such high heels to go shopping? Aren’t they bad for your feet and knees?’

‘No but they can make your calves ache after a long day so we tend to carry some light flats with us and I have a couple of pairs that I keep at work. Your legs will soon strengthen and you’ll see they get even more shapely.’

‘Well if we do this again then maybe but for now I’ll just end up having an accident or showing you up.’

‘We’ll put them in your room and let you get used to them around the apartment or when we go down to the coffee shop or bar area. Try these?’

I tried the wedge heel shoe that didn’t feel as secure but they were broken in and they fitted comfortably. The others were set aside for later and I was told to wear them around the apartment whilst we cleared up the breakfast things and made our beds. I was sent downstairs to deposit our waste bags to the rubbish bins rather than using the waste disposal chutes down the corridor. Even though I had not applied any make-up I was presenting as a young woman and I passed a few people who smiled and said hello. I didn’t feel uncomfortable and walking in the wedges didn’t feel so bad as I expected. Well done Em for breaking them in.

Once back in the apartment Em sat me down and applied some foundation, eye make up and eye-liner. I was amazed at the transformation and Em said that there was no trace of her nephew and welcomed her niece to Manchester. We laughed a bit as she finished by applying a lipstick coating on my lips and we were ready. Em had selected a shoulder bag that she felt was easy for me to handle and big enough for my bits and pieces. She swopped my wallet for a leather purse and I transferred my cards and money.

‘Hold on to that with your life in case of snatchers and just carry one of these in the bag like we all have to do for emergency use only.’

‘What is it some sort of smoke bomb or alarm if I get robbed or attacked?’

‘No silly it’s a tampon. My friends or shop assistants might see inside your bag so better to let them see it. Then you are like any other girl.’

‘Who are your friends? What are they going to think and are they expecting me to tag along?’

‘Yes I told them my cousin was staying with me and we have the same family name of course. I didn’t want to seem old by telling them you were my niece. Anyway we don’t look much different in age do we?’

‘No I don’t suppose so and I am much happier to be your cousin whilst dressed like this and I know you’d like to have a younger sister so I guess it’s a half way house.’

‘Great so come on let’s go. We are meeting at 11-30 and we still have to get there and park.’

Once in the car Em explained her intentions for the rest of the day. Mostly it centred around some girly shopping for both of us and she dismissed my protests about my lack of funds. She was treating me that she said was the first opportunity she’d had for many years so I had a lot of credit in hand. She had no daughter and furthermore it was extremely unlikely that would ever occur.

‘But Em you are very beautiful and extremely popular so you must have had relationships. Maybe you have not met the right man yet but you still have time. You are still young enough to have a baby. Lot’s of women wait until they are ready. ’

‘Kim it is by choice and I do have lots of friends. But men are not high on my list for a relationship. I have always preferred relationships with more sensitive people and the most sensitive are women not men.’

I was taken aback since Em was so beautiful and she didn’t look like a lesbian. Luckily whilst I was thinking that I didn’t utter the words. It would have sounded so awful.

‘Does that mean most of your friends are women and you don’t like men?’

‘I don’t dislike men I just prefer female company although I do associate with several men who tend to be modern men and softer in nature.’

‘ So your friends who we are meeting today do prefer other women too?’

‘Yes they are partners and they live together. Amy and George. ‘

‘But George is a mans name.’

‘Yes it’s short for Georgina. I’ve been friends with them for a long time. They live as man and wife.’

‘But you said they are two women.’

‘Yes they are but George doesn’t need to have anything between his legs to be a man. They have a very good sexual relationship.’

‘So does that mean you have a girlfriend too.’

‘I used to have and we are still close friends. She just decided she preferred men. Although really she just caved in to the pressure from her parents. We still meet and have a good time but not as often as I’d like.’

We arrived at the Centre before we could complete the conversation and Em got a text to say Amy and George were in a Starbucks coffee shop on level 2.

As we arrived at Starbucks we saw them waving and I couldn’t stop myself from speaking. ‘Which one is the man?’

……………………………………………………………

Summer With Em - Chapter 9

By Julie D Cole

Em looked at me with disappointment.

‘Oops sorry Em, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I meant they both look like attractive women. I mean they just look normal.’

‘They are normal don’t tell me you think that because they are lesbians one should be short with a large bust and cropped hair? They are two women like me and we are close friends. They just fell in love like any other couple. They are both beautiful and we have known each other for at least 10 years. We’ve had some great times together. That is George is on the left.’

‘Wow she’s like a model. She is so attractive. I’m so sorry. Please don’t tell them what I said. I guess I’ve never spent much time with women apart from at college. They don’t associate with me. I’ve lived in a cocoon I suppose these last few years’

Em hugged and kissed them both as we reached them outside the coffee shop. Then she introduced me as her cousin as we had agreed. They were very friendly and extremely polite and looked me up and down complementing me on my outfit. I couldn’t help but feel they might be looking for an indication of whether I was straight or not. I had been certain that I was straight until then but now I wasn’t so sure. I was just in character or having a bit of fun with Em but she had been very serious. I’d gone along with it a bit too easily I supposed but it wasn’t as if I was causing any harm or knew anybody.

George took my hand and kissed me on the cheek and asked where I’d been hiding myself and how long I was staying in Manchester. It was a weird experience to be introduced as female and out in public and to be mixing with Em and her two friends. They were three attractive women meeting up for some shopping and lunch and I was to be included. It gave me a pleasant tingling feeling and my stomach felt completely full of butterflies.

We queued and ordered coffees and then found a vacant table outside with a view of passers-by in the mall. Em liked to people watch but she positioned me so that I was protected from stares of shoppers and whispered to me that I should take note of how to sit properly and avoid slouching. I crossed my legs as they did and tried to avoid exposing too much of my thighs. It wasn’t easy unless I sat upright but Em gave me a smile of approval.

Then George spoke to me to break the ice. ‘Em told me that she had a sister and a young nephew so where do you fit in to the family?’

Em was quicker than me. ‘She is my father’s brothers daughter and we were all raised in South London but we only met up at family gatherings. My sister and I were bridesmaids at her parents wedding.’

I nodded to try to confirm her explanation and then Em changed the subject. We had no reason to be untruthful or to mislead them but Em seemed quite enthusiastic about me having chance to experience some girly time whilst in Manchester but I’d already been interviewed as her niece by her friend and had been hired as me not as a female version.

They were then making arrangements for where we would meet up for lunch and they settled on an Asian restaurant called Wagamama’s for some healthy food and a glass of Pinot Grigio so we could share plates and relax. First we had some shopping to do so we split.

We only needed to walk about 50 yards to the venue planned by Em. ‘I can’t go in there. No way. That’s taking this too far.’

‘ It’s OK trust me.’

‘But it’s for women.’

‘Where does it say that? It’s a bra fitting shop for anybody.’

‘But I’ve got a bra and anyway I’m not stripping to be measured by a stranger.’

‘You don’t need to remove your bra and anyway it’s only on loan. It’s not the right fit for your comfort and I should know since I’ve worn a bra ever since I was fourteen. I am much fuller than you in the cup although you same to be the same chest size. You need to take care of your breasts.’

‘But Em I’m a boy not a girl and I shouldn’t have breasts. They could disappear as quickly as they grew.’

‘If that’s what you hope will happen then all the more reason to take care of them and provide the right support. You might get bigger yet and it’s OK whilst they are firm but if you fill out like I did within 12 months of my first training bra they need support. They bounce about a bit and you said you are going to exercise at the gym. A sports bra will help because you can’t keep binding them and crushing them. You don’t know what damage might occur. Also a good bra protects sensitive nipples and without a bra they will be more prominent. They get excited and sometimes sore. Come on let’s see what they recommend.

We entered the shop that was filled with all types and sizes of bras and matching knickers in every colour and shade imaginable. I felt like I’d entered a ladies lingerie cave that didn’t allow access to men. The shop was called Comforts and the owner was Caroline who greeted us and obviously sensed my reluctance to go right in. Em hooked my arm to prevent me leaving and Caroline invited us to sit at a small table to introduce her business and how it differed to the big stores by offering a personal service and keeping records. Just what I didn’t need.

After I accepted I was not going to be able to escape and our details were entered in her note book Caroline asked me to stand. There I was in full view whilst she took a tape measure and pulled my bra about as best she could under my top. ‘Mmm this is not the right fit for you and I actually recommend a padded bra in a softer material perhaps with underwire to give you some uplift. You’ll feel the benefit of the extra support and you don’t need a big cup at this stage. How old are you by the way? Are you still developing?’

I was almost speechless and I’m sure I was bright crimson by this time so Em responded on my behalf.

‘Look Kim if you don’t mind I’d like you to remove your top and come into the fitting room and I’ll bring you some alternatives for you to try. They’ll all have adjustable straps but perhaps you ought to consider returning in about a month and we’ll check if you need a change.’

I was resigned to the fact that there was no escape and could see that Em was looking at the range of bras that were padded and in minutes she was suggesting options. Once in the fitting room with Em I expressed my fear and embarrassment and she just giggled and said to just enjoy myself since it was a story to tell my friends in the future.

Caroline brought 4 bras and sat me down in front of the large mirror. Before I could lift a finger she’d unclipped my bra and asked me to remove it which I did. ‘See here the marks under your breasts from this badly fitting bra and the marks from the straps. I assure you that you will immediately feel the benefit of the right bra for you so let me fit this for you.’

Em chipped in to select a white one first that was a bit flowery rather than the black or blue plain ones. Caroline explained the underwire and the affect was immediate. My breasts were now lifted and seemed fuller. I was helpless as they discussed styles and different brands.

We purchased 5 bras in different colours together with matching knickers and I left the shop wearing the white one that I’d tried on with Em popping her bra into her bag. I had a large carrier bag to carry the wares advertising the shop. Em insisted I carried it and commented how much better I looked with a bit more up top.

It was already time to meet for lunch and as we walked along the mall to Wagamamas I couldn’t resist looking at reflection in shop windows. My bust looked the same size as Ems and I noticed a few male glances that unnerved me a little.

We could see that Amy and George had already arrived and they were each enjoying a glass of sparkling wine. They immediately focused on my carrier bag and made approving noises so I was encouraged to show them our selections. Both approved and I even had to show the straps of the bra I was wearing.

I noticed that there were 5 place settings and that I was positioned on the end. ‘Is somebody else joining us?’

Em nodded and said it was a very close girlfriend of hers who she’d known for a long time but she had been working and she’d decided to take a 2 hour lunch break. She told me to make the best of a Saturday lunch break since now I was a confirmed employee at the liesure centre after my trial weekends were classed as normal working days. I’d already realized that to me but it wasn’t a problem since I was a stranger in Manchester with no friends. But on the other hand I was already socializing with Em and her friends that a new experience in more ways than one.

We looked at the menu and ordered sparkling wines for Em and I and more or less agreed what food we’d like to share. Em had a message to say we should order and not wait for her girlfriend but the waitress just supplied a few snacks and delayed a bit.

‘Here she is.’ They all stood up and I turned my head. It was Bec’s my boss at the Leisure Centre. ‘Hi everybody sorry I’m late. Hi Kim, Oh you do look nice today. Welcome to lunch with the gang of four.’

Summer With Em - Chapter 10

By Julie D Cole

I managed to smile through the blushes. ‘Hi Bec’s thank you.’

She took he seat next to Em and they kissed but on the lips this time.

‘Missed you Em.’

‘Missed you too gorgeous.’

I had understood that they were close friends for a long time but this time the body language between them was much more affectionate. They were clearly holding hands under the table and for a few minutes Amy, George and I might as well have not been there.

‘So girls a great choice of venue. I’m starving since I’ve had nothing to eat today. He shot off to a competition at the crack of dawn.’

We all smiled and agreed to start eating. I seemed to have been included twice now in the reference ‘girls’. I expected that she might have had a chat with Em about me because she wasn’t treating me as the guy who she’d interviewed.

‘So Kim what have you been up to today. Taking advantage of a weekend off shopping with Em?’

Em responded on my behalf. ‘Yes of course we have and we did OK see the bags.’

‘Nice. Anything for you sweetie?’
‘No today Kim needed to be priority since she was sort of undies. Next stop is something nice for later. Are we all still on for tonight? Dinner then Canal Street?’

All three nodded and it was clear they approved from the broad smiles on their faces. It seemed like Saturdays were fun days and I was getting the opportunity to join in. The food we were having would have been treat enough for me in one day and Em made it clear that she would cover my part of the bills.

As we worked our way through three delicious sharing plates and a dish of noodles the chatter seemed endless. This was a new experience for me and even though I was a few years younger and not familiar with the surroundings I was enjoying the social interchange and being treated as one of the girls rather than as a boy was adding to the excitement. I was happy to see the friendship between the two pairs of friends and already I was falling in love with Manchester. It already seemed to be more friendly than London with a lot going for it.

As soon as the dishes were cleared Bec’s excused herself to go back to work and three of us left her and Em sorting the bill out and looked in the window of the store opposite Wagamama’s. It gave Em and Bec’s to chat in privacy and they hugged before Bec’s kissed Em and then waved. I wasn’t sure what Bec’s weightlifting husband might have thought if he saw them together. It wasn’t my business but I didn’t want Em to get mixed up in anything and get hurt.

When Em came over to us we split up again and Amy and George went in the opposite direction to us. I whispered to Em that I needed to visit the bathrooms and I could see that they were not far away. I felt I’d have to take care and hope that I could sneak into either the disabled toilet or even the Mother and baby room but when we arrived they were occupied and so Em told me to be brave and she’d come with me to the ladies bathroom. We had to join a small queue that was quite embarrassing for me. I’d only ever had to queue at concerts or theatres at the intermissions. Still at least the cubicles were private and nobody glanced over neighbors shoulders.

‘There not so bad was it? You are doing well. No need to be scared. You blend in perfectly as I expected. By the way how is the new bra. Comfortable?’

‘Oh yes I’d forgotten I had it on.’

She had obviously been looking at my image in the mirror as we washed our hands and she had applied new lipstick after being kissed several times. Mine was OK.’

‘Right let’s do some more shopping. Are you OK with the bag. Free advertising as we walk around for Carolines shop.’

‘What are we buying and what is the plan for this evening?’

‘I think something nice for a dinner at a nice Italian restaurant full of charming waiters and then for a trip to a couple of bars and a club in Canal Street.’

‘But Em isn’t it dangerous for me to push it like this and won’t it be dangerous in an area down by a canal?.’

Em laughed. ‘No it’s not some sinister part of Manchester down by a canal where we could get mugged or sexually attacked. It’s a popular area full of nightlife and happy people who know how to enjoy themselves. Just stick together and I promise you’ll be wanting to go there as often as possible. It’s made for people like us.’

I went quiet since I’d know idea what she was talking about and I’d never heard of it. ‘Manchester has great nightlife and sometimes we even visit Chinatown later if we haven’t eaten earlier since food is even available at 4am in the morning. Manchester never sleeps for young people like us.’

It seemed like I was already accepted and being encouraged to show my feminine side but I don’t know what mum would make of it or for the apparent relationship between Em and Bec’s. She is pretty tolerant but Bec’s is married. Perhaps that explained why Em had never married or was it that she just enjoyed the single life?

‘Come on Kim let’s go look at somewhere that is trendy for girls of our age. That was the third time I’d been referred to as a girl in the last 2 hours. It wasn’t offending me but I wasn’t sure if things were moving along a bit too fast for comfort. Now the Manager of the Leisure Centre where I was working saw me as a girl and I wasn’t sure what that would mean come Monday morning. Had somebody flicked a switch whilst I wasn’t looking?

‘Where are we going?’

‘Somewhere where we can find you a couple of outfits that you can take home and then decide which to wear later.’

‘But I can’t afford that yet until I get some funds built up from working.’

‘Come on I’ll bankroll you for a while. I want you to express yourself more and show the world what I see. You are beautiful just like your mum.’

‘But I’m not a girl.’

‘You don’t have to be a boy or a girl in Manchester. You can just be Kim. You didn’t see any prejudice today did you or at work. Bec’s accepts you as whoever you want to be like I do. I just feel you should be confident and I’ll help you. Amy and George like you.’

‘OK I suppose I have to trust your judgement. You are older and wiser.’

‘Please wiser is enough.’

We headed for Topshop since Em said we didn’t need to go mad with designer label shops and they had what she had in mind for me to wear for first time out with the girls that needed to be sensible. She was really saying dress their age not mine.

We tried a variety of options before Em gave the thumbs up to two outfits that she said best suited me. The sales assistant was patient moving rejected outfits to the transit racks to go back on display for other punters.

After an hour we had a decision and paid at the desk before heading to the shoe section to start all over again. Not exactly a 5 minute job with Em in charge. Apparently I should not select the first pair I’d seen no matter if I liked them so I just asked why on=line shopping was taking over and why Amazon were doing so well.

‘ Look shopping will never die. It’s all about the experience.’

We had time for another visit to Starbucks where we met Amy and George again. They were more heavily laden than us this time and couldn’t wait to show us their purchases. They would be wearing them for our night out before passing them to charity. Once worn and seen that was it as far as they were concerned.

‘One last call Kim before we go home to change.’

Em had booked appointments at a hair salon for wash and blow. It was amazing how time passed in each venue. We needed more hours in a day.

At least that detour saved time back at Ems apartment. After removing our make up we decided on hand showers to avoid wetting our hair.

We relaxed a while in front of tv and laid out the items we’d purchased that needed pressing. That was my job whilst Em supervised from the couch. It gave us chance to chat and so I decided on a friendly question first enquiring about our destination, Canal Street. She asked If I’d heard of Manchester GayPride that took place each August but in truth I had never heard of it. Em showed me the last event on her i-pad and I was staggered at the number of people who attended and especially for the parade.

‘Is everybody gay who visits Canal Street.’

‘Not at all. It’s just a venue and it’s where people can enjoy themselves and spend money.’

‘Aunt Em, are you and Bec’s in a relationship?’

‘We are friends.’

‘But she is married and yet you both seem attracted to each other.’

‘We are.’

‘Doesn’t he object?’

‘Why should he? It’s not like she’s having sex with another man. In fact she hardly has sex with him because he uses all his energy building his muscles.’

‘So he accepts you then?’

‘Nothing to accept we are friends.’

‘So he is not afraid that you are lovers?’

‘We sleep together if she stays over here when he is away. Bec’s needs me.’

‘Will she be staying tonight? Am I in the way?’

‘ Yes and No. Come on let’s choose which outfit is best for tonight. ’

Summer with Em - Chapter 11

By Julie D Cole

We headed towards my bedroom with my freshly pressed outfits on the sales hangers. I had taken extra care using the best of my training with a steam iron that mum had provided whilst growing up. Luckily I had experience of ironing mums delicate items when she left me chores whilst at work. I’d started with safe items like my shirts and jeans but it wasn’t long before I graduated to underwear and eventually to her undies. So no damage done.

Em had watched on and commented that she had been impressed. She’d noticed that I checked labels for guideline. She had feared I might damage one of the tops in particular. I guess I scored a few brownie points and I’d impressed myself. I never imagined that I’d own or wear such nice outfits that seemed far superior to my usual attire.

Em brought a carrier bag with her I assumed contained some items she had purchased for herself that she wanted to show me. She told me that either of the two outfits I’d purchased were suitable to wear that evening both of which were tops with trousers. In the bag she had a dress that she wanted me to try on that she’d purchased as a welcome to Manchester gift and she was keen to see what it looked like since she felt it was my colour and style. I was flattered but a little surprised and since it was a gift I could hardly refuse. Em clearly wanted me to femme up and to remove any traces of my male self and as much as I wanted to refuse I was intrigued to try. She seemed to be unlocking something inside me that had been dormant for a long time since my early years when mum liked to dress me up and take me shopping.

I sensed that Em was wanting to talk to me judging by the expression on her face. I guessed right because she said she wanted to explain something so I didn’t feel I was in the way. I told her that I might have misunderstood about her relationship with Bec’s and offered to sleep in the smallest bedroom if Bec’s stayed over. I tried to apologize as best I could for saying I was in the way.

‘Em please don’t feel I was making judgements or feeling I was in the way of your friendship. I like Bec’s but I feel like I’m imposing on your generosity. I didn’t mean to pry just now. I’ve seen that you and Bec’s have a long relationship and I just feel I’m invading your space. I wasn’t trying to be ungrateful.’

‘No your not. Why think such thoughts? You are my niece and we are the same blood. Even if I prefer you be introduced as my cousin since there is only 5 years between us. You don’t need to use the small bedroom that is my office and where I store winter clothes and Bec’s and I have always slept together. We do get a bit silly sometimes so as long as you are ok with that then fine with me.’

’ Em I am pleased if you are bed buddies and I envy you. It must be nice to lay and chat or snuggle up to somebody. I used to like snuggles with mum and still like to get into her bed some mornings when she isn’t working. It’s more difficult these days since I’ve grown up but I miss it. I’ve never had a girlfriend and if boys stayed over they always brought sleeping bags.’

‘Look Kim you are not in the way and just so it’s better that you know that Bec’s and I have a relationship that is more than just sharing my bed. She has asked me to move in with her a few times if she asks her husband to leave but I am not ready to be the cause of a break up since it can get nasty.’

We’ve always slept together since we first became friends at school and had sleepovers. We are extremely fond of each other and cuddles turned to more and more intimacy. We find each others sweet spots. As we reached our late teens she decided that she needed to conform to her parents expectations so she dated men. I had to be patient but she is the one who insisted we pick up where we left off not me.’

‘Does that mean that her marriage is a sham?’

‘Not exactly but we can all live in hope. I know they’ve had intercourse but he can’t excite her. I know her very well by now. Much better than she knows herself .’

‘Em I’m sorry I don’t mean to pry and I hope things work out for you both. I like Bec’s and I can see the attraction. She is super fit and beautiful. You look well together.’

‘Maybe and maybe not. I accepted that I might end up as a spinster a long time ago hence I was delighted to offer you a summer here with me. You are almost like a younger sister that I wished I’d had. Better than even you being my niece. We do look alike when you wear make-up don’t you think? Just perfect.’

‘Almost perfect Em and I’m sorry to have missed fun together growing up as your nephew. You have shown me life can be a lot more fun as your niece. But now I can see that it would be even more fun if I had a sister and I wouldn’t want anyone else. You are my number one.’

‘You mean you’d like if we were sisters together?’

‘I guess that’s what I meant. I don’t mind if you treat me as your sister whilst I’m here. I like the changes in me that you’ve encouraged. I think living as a boy is pretty boring by comparison. Can I stay like this for a while? I won’t get in the way I promise. ’

‘Of course you can stay like that and I’d love you to be my younger sister but we have to let your mum know since it’s not fair if she finds out and we haven’t told her. Anyway how can you hide your appearance if you video call?’

‘But she’ll be shocked and she may insist I go home.’

‘You’ll have to leave that to me to discuss with her and it’s more likely to be me in trouble rather than you. In all honesty I don’t think it will be that much of a shock. She had the idea for you to come to Manchester where nobody knows you and to spend the summer with me.’

‘Are you saying that she had doubts about me and suspected I had a feminine side?’

‘Sort of. Nothing was said but when you arrived in Manchester I saw Kim as a girl dressed a bit gender neutral than as the boy I was expecting to arrive. Your mum is not stupid and if I saw that you can be sure she’d seen it.’

Em encouraged me to try on the outfits to make a final decision and both sets looked amazing as far as I was concerned. What was not to like compared to being dressed like I did at home?’

I’d more or less made a decision when Em opened her package. ‘I want you to try your gift now to see how different you’ll feel. I think if you are brave enough to wear it then you’ll find the bra you are wearing is covered rather than the straps showing as you might have noticed with both of the tops. Not that that is a problem these days since anything goes. Especially down Canal Street. ’

‘But first it was a bra fitting today and now your pushing me to wear a dress. It’s a lot in one day. I’m terrified I’ll be seen as myself and not as a woman. At least with trousers that’s pretty normal for me but in a dress showing my legs it’s weird.’

‘Trust me it is perfect and you’ve got the poise and you walk and sit as most women of your age do. From my experience this week watching you I’m certain you’ll take to it like a duck to water. You wouldn’t worry about going out in shorts at home would you? What’s the difference? If anything less leg showing. ‘

When I stepped into the dress Em pulled up the zip at the back and it fitted snugly emphasizing my contour and my bust was more prominent than it was in either of the tops. Em said that was the advantage of a correctly fitting bra and was pleased she had insisted that we took advice. She stood by my side as we looked in the wardrobe mirror.

‘ You look more feminine than me. I’m going to have to dress up a bit tonight to compete or you’ll get all the attention from Bec’s. I don’t want her making a play for my younger sister do I?’

‘As if?’

‘There is only one problem that I see. Your legs need de-fuzzing and they are a bit on the pale side. I think we ought to book you in for a full wax at the salon in the leisure centre. Maybe even a spray tan until we get chance to give your legs more exposure in the sun.’

‘I’d better wear trousers then. I didn’t think I had that much fuzz. I don’t have body hair.’

‘Through a man’s eyes you may not see hair but women can see fuzz. We like to be totally smooth with a silk finish not matt finish. For tonight you could wear some skin coloured tights that will show off your legs. Let’s see.’

That did the trick as far as Em was concerned and I must admit I now felt fully dressed and more confident. Em asked me to help her decide on an outfit and opened her wardrobe that was as full as a rack in a high street store. She stripped in front of me without any sign of embarrassment and changed her bra and panties. I tried to avert my eyes but couldn’t help but notice her beautifully formed and firm bust and her lack of pubic hair.

‘Brazilian.’

‘ Brazilian what?’

‘Brazilian wax for the summer. It’s quite an experience but it means I can go skimpy and wear thongs that I like. Not for you though since you have a small bulge like a lot of women have. It might be a bit much for you to try that you’ll be relieved to know.’

‘Phew it looks painfull.’

I’d not seen Em in a dress before and she tried several some of which were extremely short. The shorter the dress the younger she looked that I let her know so that helped her decide. She certainly had legs that deserved to be displayed and should take attention away from me.

Em fitted me out with shoes and a shoulder bag and we spent half an hour touching up make-up and tidying hair with a glass of white wine before ordering a taxi. I had a few lessons on how to ensure that I kept my legs crossed whilst seated and how to enter and leave a taxi whilst we were waiting. I was nervous as we left but felt really excited.

We all met in Bar One on arrival in Canal Street that was half full even though it was still early. The restaurant was only a a short walk away and as we entered the bar we were immediately spotted by Amy and George who had also made a special effort and were dressed less casually than I had expected. I was glad Em had persuaded me to wear the dress she’d bought.
About 10 minutes later Bec’s made her entrance. Apparently she never met on time and had a reputation for being late. Still she did have an excuse since she’d been working.

‘Hi gang I hope you don’t mind but I invited Fran along. Better if we are a six than a five for dinner and for later so nobody is left out.’

Summer with Em - Chapter 12

By Julie D Cole

It was clear that Em, Amy and George knew Fran as they greeted each other warmly with hugs and kisses. Not quite as intimate as Em and Bec’s however who held hands as they turned to face me.

Em spoke ‘Kim this is Fran, short for Francesca but she is not into girly names. Sorry Fran but it’s true isn’t it.’

‘Well I prefer Fran since it’s more gender neutral and we are in the age of the Alpha Female. As you know I’m pro woman and we can make our own choices. I just like Fran although I do answer to Frankie that I rather like.’

‘Well Fran this is my cousin Kim who is staying with me for the summer. We are like sisters and it’s great to be back together. She is still at college so she’s working for Bec’s to gain some experience and earn some money.’

Fran shook me by the hand and welcomed me to Manchester complementing me on my dress and saying she could see the family resemblance to Em and that we shared the same good looks. She hoped that I was being tutored in the modern way to stand up for women and be seen as equal to men. I realised that not only was I completely out-numbered but Fran was a strong feminist. I did know quite a few girls with similar views and usually kept a low profile at college.

‘Well Kim can I get you a drink to welcome you. Anybody else whilst I’m in the chair.’

Em cut in to suggest we shared a bottle of Prosecco by way of a welcome and Fran was quick to sort it out. It soon disappeared and a second bottle appeared in an ice bucket.

Fran was definitely confident and seemed as if she enjoyed life. She had trained with Bec’s and was apparently the manager of a number of retail outlets around manager and in the North West of England. She was wearing a light weight trouser suit with a jacket that barely covered her breasts that she obviously liked to present. George seemed very distracted and it was hard for me not to stare.’

There was a lot of chatter about the plans for the evening and the choice of venue where we were planning to eat and where it was intended we go afterwards. The bar was filling quickly by this time so we headed off down the street towards the restaurant. It was a lively walk with lots of groups out celebrating and several were in fancy dress. It looked like Canal Sreet was a popular destination for stag and hen parties and some people were very noisy and it looked like they’d been drinking all afternoon.

Fran took my hand and guided me past a group of men who were singing and making lewd comments telling me not to worry since most were harmless and just showing off to groups like ours. Once past Fran asked what type of woman I was and if I had a boyfriend at home. I was a bit taken aback but thought quickly about an appropriate response telling her that I wasn’t really into men and that I had been too busy with my studies to accept their invitations.

‘You do realise that these four are expecting us to bond and become friends. They are always match making but I know what I want and they can’t work me out. Keep them guessing.’

‘Do you have a boyfriend then or not?’

‘No I have enough men to look after at work without going home to one. I’m looking for a partner to share my life not a husband that is what my parents want. They can’t wait for some grandchildren but that’s not in my radar at the moment. I’d prefer to keep my figure and I have a career. I like the life that I have at the moment and I aim to be the Managing Director of our company within 3 or 4 years. We need a woman in charge. ‘

Bec’s overheard our conversation and said to take no notice of Frans views because underneath she was a softy and she was just scared of falling in love in case she had to change her image. Fran punched her lightly on the shoulder and let go of my hand for a while as we approached the door of Felice’s Bella Roma Italian Restaurant. We were a little early but our table was vacant. Felice greeted us and obviously knew the girls. He made a bee line for me kissing my hand and insisted on escorting me to the table.

We were on a circular table with Em on my left and Fran on my right. She told me that she insisted she pay my corner of the bill and to choose whatever I liked from the menu. Em smiled and agreed since she had in fact promised to pay but joked that there were no corners on the table anyway. She was more interested in the daily specials board whilst Amy and George focused on the wine list. I didn’t get much chance to scrutinise either the menu or the specials board.

In the end the concensus was to order some sharing plates that worked for me. I could just select what I liked from the seafood plate and then from the various meats on display to accompany some pasta. I just accepted the wine that was placed in front of me while George, Bec’s and Fran compared opinions sipping and making commenting before swallowing. As for my capacity to absorb the wine I needed food since I already knew that I had had more alcohol than I’d normally consumed in a day and often in a week. I was a lightweight compared to the others.

I managed to get a word in as soon as there was a lull in the conversations that did require a lot of concentration.

‘Cheers everybody and thank you for welcoming me to your group and to Manchester. I like this venue and the location. So lively and you are so lucky to have an area like Canal Street full of bars, restaurants and clubs. I’ve already fallen in love with Manchester. It seems much friendlier and safer than London.’

Bec’s chipped in. ‘Just don’t tell anybody or they’ll all come.’

The meal was just perfect for me with more than enough on the sharing plates for all of us. During the destruction of the seafood platter that required concentration for all of us Fran quietly insisted that I call her Frankie that she preferred friends to call her. She made clear that she would prefer if I did that unless I was in earshot of the others. Then she said that she would refer to me as Kimbers since I was very pretty and I was younger than the rest of them. She felt that Kimbers suited me since I was quiet and shy and she hoped to convince me to become an Alpha woman like her with her guidance. It wasn’t as if I had much choice and as if to emphasise her point she had placed her hand on my knee and squeezed slightly. She asked if I agreed and that this suggestion was to be between the two of us.

I wasn’t sure what was happening since I was feeling a little confused with the alcohol I’d consumed with Em and then in Canal Street but I smiled and nodded. I was already feeling that I was being dominated by Fran so I turned to Em for reassurance. She seemed to see I was feeling uncomfortable. I was concerned about being exposed as a fraud and I had no idea how to deal with Fran’s friendliness. I’m sure that Em picked this up from my expression. Even were I not dressed like I was and had met them as I lived at home I would struggle to reject advances from anybody. It was extremely unlikely that a woman like Fran would even notice me. So being dressed and appearing as female was doubly difficult. Em smiled as whispered to be patient and to stay calm and to go with the flow. Ignore the hand on the knee and take the attention I was receiving as a complement. I had been quickly accepted into the group.

Luckily Fran had been distracted whilst Em and I communicated by talking with Amy and George. Bec’s had been chipping in so that was the beauty of sharing a round table. We could chat to each other collectively or in segments. Whilst Em and I whispered together I asked if Fran knew that I wasn’t a woman or Bec’s for that matter. Em just shook her head that I assumed was the response to both questions.

I had felt sure that Bec’s knew about me from the job interview and what happened as I was shown around the leisure centre and also she had my CV as much as it was. But she had been extra nice anyway so maybe she did know and didn’t really care. More likely the situation was that she and Em had discussed it and had decided to encourage me to present as I had been presenting since Em took me under her wing. Did they plan this together with my mum?

I felt it was going to be awkward with Fran but Em just took my hand and said to be confident. She wanted to talk properly to offer some guidance and suggested a trip to the ladies room. I had no choice in the matter since she stood up immediately and took my arm so that I followed her. Luckily it was just the two of us and I’d not really thought about where I might be spending a penny as the night went on.

The ladies room was upstairs so at least it was quiet and I insisted that Em went in first to ensure that there was nobody hanging around. She agreed and headed for the door with a smile on her face and turned to say that I had nothing to worry about and I looked more feminine than her or the other four. ‘ You can hardly use the Gents facilities can you?’

Once inside we both took the opportunity to relieve ourselves that was more awkward than I expected due to the tights and especially trying to avoid wetting the hem of my dress. Luckily it was still quiet as we left the cubicles and Em helped me tidy my make up whilst we chatted. She explained that Fran was just a little curious that a cousin of hers had appeared from nowhere and she had been deliberately evasive and so had Bec’s. Em felt that she was testing me and that I should expect a few off the wall questions as the evening progressed but that she wouldn’t embarrass me. Fran was basically a little peeved that she hadn’t been asked to help by providing a summer job and that Em had asked Bec’s. Of course it was understandable considering the close bond between Em and Bec’s.
‘So what does Fran know about me, anything?’

‘I’ve told her you are my cousin on my fathers side so we have the same surname. As you know your granddad had two brothers and a sister and 5 children between them. It’s not like you will be under a spotlight but better we stick to the same story-line. She doesn’t know too much about our family.

Just then the door opened and Fran came in to see what had happened to us. We stopped talking immediately that I supposed raised her suspicions.

‘Oh you two we wondered why you’d rushed off without saying anything.’

Em was quick, ‘Yes it was Kim she was feeling a bit sick and slightly dizzy but it’s nothing more than her period starting. I thought it was the alcohol but everything is sorted thanks. She was prepared.’

‘Oh that’s a pity. I guess no chance of any late night fun in Manchester this weekend. The boys will be disappointed. That’s another thing they don’t have to worry about. They only need to carry cash or a card for a night out.’

‘Come on all is OK now and no accidents. Let’s go eat.’

‘Yes then let’s show Kim here how to have fun and lots of laughter. You don’t have tummy ache do you?’

‘Not yet I feel mch better thanks. Maybe I’ll drink some water as well as the wine.’

‘Do you need to re-stock for your bag?’

‘No I’m good thanks.’

Summer With Em - Chapter 13

By Julie D Cole

Once we were back at the table I was quizzed to ask if everything was alright and fortunately a simple yes was accepted. Frankie asked if I was OK to carry on and offered to take me back to Em’s in a taxi if I preferred. I managed to convince them all that I was perfectly fine and that I just needed some water. I had to lay it on a bit as if I was still a little uncomfortable and Em whispered that I was a good actress.

George had ordered another bottle of wine and Bec’s had ordered 3 ‘puddings’ and 6 long handled spoons so we could all dive in and sample each one. The boys I’d grown up with at school would never have shared puddings like this and they’d have held a fork in the other hand in case of any encroachment on their plates. As a girl I was learning to share a lot and it was much better to sample three dishes.

I noticed that Frankie had moved her chair a little closer to mine on the pretext that she needed to reach the Tiramisu plate that was her favorite desert. She placed one arm around my waist as she reached and then offered her spoon to my mouth as Becs did to Em and George had done to Amy. I couldn’t really refuse since the others were doing the same and I smiled in appreciation. She looked deeply into my eyes and whispered that I should lick the spoon clean as Em and Amy were doing. She was beautiful and I felt that her eyes were hypnotic. If she knew who I really was would she have looked twice at me never mind offer to spoon me as Amy called it.

We all carried on chatting as the table was cleared by an over attentive waiter who had hovered around all the way through our meal. Frankie stayed close and lifted her arm so that her hand was on my shoulder and asked if I felt any better. Then she made a joke about welcoming me to the pudding club and set of a burst of giggles around the table.

Bec’s then announced we should make a move so we had time to catch the first floor show at the bar/club they had planned as the venue for the rest of the evening. It was a club called Kiki Di’s that Frankie told me was very lively on a Saturday so best to stay close and hold onto her as well as onto my bag. As we arrived at the entrance she took my hand and she told me it was primarily a gay and lesbian night and there would be lots of groups out celebrating with a few hen nights as well as the regulars. She paid my entrance and we headed for the bar where Becs was already ordering drinks. I opted for the drink that was described as ‘long and smooth to tickle the throat’ that brought a burst of laughter from the girls. George said ‘Just what Amy likes. My snaky tongue.’ I felt myself blush but the order was placed.

Frankie passed it to me and said ‘Lot’s more like that if you find that you like it.’

Em moved towards me so that I had protection both sides since the bar area was filling up. Then the lights dimmed and the music started and a voice boomed out welcoming everybody to the bar and introducing the host ‘Miss Kiki Di’ She was big and buxom and heavily made up and she burst into song. She was obviously a man in drag but she had a great singing voice and her bust looked real. She soon had the crowd joining in including Bec’s, Em, George and Amy. Frankie tried to explain that this was the owner of the bar and he now owned several bars in Canal Street and used to perform regularly in Blackpool before he opened Kiki Di’s. ‘Not exactly what I’m looking for in a partner Kimbers. I prefer slim and cute like you.’

She put her arm around me and ushered me to an area where there was a tall table and four high stools and asked if I’d like to sit so I could see the act. She helped me onto the stool and opted to stand alongside. I had to cross my legs to preserve my dignity and she place a serviette on my lap. My heart was racing and my stomach churned a little as Frankie whispered something in my ear and then blew gently that made me shiver. ‘Just look at him selling himself. He has a few boyfriends since he opened this place . Most are hangers on. He is one of the organisers of the Annual Gay Pride. A smart cookie who has helped developed Canal Street. He’s probably worth a fortune.’

As I turned to face Frankie so I could hear more clearly she told me to close my eyes and I just did as I was told and before I knew it her lips pressed against mine with her hand placed gently behind my head to stop me pulling away. I didn’t want to pull away and I responded as best I could given my lack of experience. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and then drew back as Em and Bec’s arrived at the table. ‘We hope we aren’t interupting anything you two.’

Frankie responded , ‘No. I was just explaining our joke about the drink.’

‘Oh yes we believe you. As if. Frankie strikes again so just be careful Kim. She loves playing tongues and we think she invented the drink and its name. She knows Kiki Di. Not her type though just a friend.’

‘OK I’m looking after Kim. She looks nervous and vulnerable in this place so better any chancers see she is with me and keep their distance. Isn’t that what you expected when you asked me to come along.’

Em spoke as she climbed elegantly onto the bar stool ‘Not exactly but you do seem to have clicked so we are happy and we can all relax. Are you feeling better Kim? How’s the drink?’

‘I’m feeling a lot better thanks and the drink does tickle the throat. It has a kick and an after effect.’

That brought out a burst of laughter from the three of them.

I noticed how Em used the footrest to lift and position herself on the edge of the stool before sliding back and crossing her legs. She was wearing a shorter dress than me and she never gave the slightest glimpse of her underwear. I doubted I’d been so elegant and slid back onto my stool and crossed my legs as she had done. It wasn’t the most comfortable position for me but I withstood the painful reminder that I had frontage whereas Em hadn’t. I was glad that I’d adjusted the thong during my visit to the ladies room or I doubted I’d have been able to cross my legs at all. Fortunately I didn’t have a large sack to tuck away and there was no nip. Em smiled as if in approval at me sitting in a more ladylike way.

Neither Bec’s or Frankie opted to sit and in any case both had their legs covered with trousers so they wouldn’t have had to take as much care. I really liked Frankies outfit and wondered why womens trouser suits had more style and a better cut. In any case I was glad that Em had chosen a dress or I’d have felt awkward as the sole member of our group exposing legs. George and Amy were more casual that we four that seemed to be their preferred style. They weren’t out to impress just to enjoy themselves.

I could see them across the room with George singing along with Kiki Di and Amy trying to calm her down as best she could. They seemed to be caught up in a group of girls on a hen party who were drinking lagers out of bottles and handing out shots on wooden paddles. I was sure they’d all be regretting it the following day and some were already looking worse for wear.

As the evening passed another two drag acts followed Kiki Di and one of them was stunning. She didn’t have a great voice but she had everything else and the hen party were clearly making comments that started a banter with the act who was far too smart for them. She had a slit dress up to her waist and long and shapely legs. Frankie commented ‘great butt but that’s a boob job up top. Still they move about a bit and she knows how to play the audience. Shame that the men in here are not man enough for her. She likes real men with muscles like Bec’s chappie. Well as long as they haven’t lost the ability to satisfy a woman or her for that matter.’

I was ready for the ladies bathroom again and Em agreed to go with me whilst Bec’s and Frankie were chatting about their successes at work. There was a queue as we entered and two or three of the hen party were trying to sort out someone who was being sick in one of the cubicles. Em let me go in front of her and it didn’t take me long to finish and I let Em follow me.

I washed my hands and looked for the drier and then opened my bag to look for my comb and lipstick. As I tidied my hair a girl at the side of me commented and said I was new there and that she hadn’t seen me before. She asked my name and introduced herself suggesting we might meet on the dance floor later when the acts had finished. I tried to say that I was with my girlfriend but she looked the other way and shot off with her friends. This place was like a madhouse compared to a mens room with women in various stages of undress going in and out of the cubicles and nothing was left to the imagination. One girl left the door open and was standing astride the pan demonstrating that she could pee like a man after lifting her skirt and dropping her pants part way down her thighs. She was so proud that she turned to show herself to onlookers and I seemed too frozen to move.

There was a bright purple device in her hand that she said was a she wee that she carried everywhere. I wasn’t sure what the attraction about it was but she said it meant she didn’t have to sit on the toilet seat to pee and she used it everywhere and especially outside against a hedge or a wall and had relieved herself alongside boys on coach trips when they’d needed an urgent toiler break. It was light and it was easy to carry in her bag.

Em came out just in time to see the display and she just shook her head in disbelief. ‘Come on Kim it is not the way girls normally behave. These lot are from outside Manchester and they probably live in a village in the countryside.’

She was quick to tidy herself and having got my attention she guided me on how to quickly freshen up my hair and lips. My lips were clearly smudged as a result of Frankies attention and luckily Em had a spare wet wipe that I used to clean my face before applying a new coat. We headed back to our table although it was a struggle and a tight squeeze in parts with people deliberately blocking our way so they touched us. My breasts were touched as well as my buttocks and I was definitely openly groped by one guy. Em said it was in fact a woman with a buzz cut and she had no bust because her breasts were taped so that she appeared masculine. She was more masculine than I could ever be.

George and Amy found their way to us with a tray filled with drinks. My drink had a message from the bar man that seemed to be a common joke. It said ‘Don’t gobble it just take your time.’ It turned out he also was a she but it was hard to tell.

Since the acts were now resting and mingling amongst the crowd the resident DJ started the music and lots of people started to dance. Em invited me first to coach me a little bit before realising that I wasn’t a novice. Apart from the heels of course. As Em looked for Becs and Frankie to join us my admirer from the ladies room decided to cut in and I’d no choice but to accept so we danced two dances and she tried to chat but the music was too loud. By that time Frankie had enough so she took my arm and made it known we were together and that I was off limits. I was worried that there might be trouble but the girl walked away and Frankie took over. I was beginning to really enjoy myself since bars and clubs in London were expensive and I didn’t have a group of friends to go with.

Around 1 am it was time for us to go and Becs was travelling with Em and I since Becs was staying over. Frankie went with George and Amy and the left after hugs and kisses all round. Frankie gave me an extra long kiss but without the tongue this time.

As I was about to sit in the taxi with Becs and Em I heard a scream. The crazy girl who had danced with me appeared from nowhere and hit Frankie on the head with a piece of wood before running off with her friends. It was enough to draw blood but Frankie insisted she was alright and the taxi driver produced some tissues to wipe the blood that seemed sufficient. I agreed to check on Frankie later once I knew she was home safe and waved goodbye.

Em spoke ‘I don’t know first time out and girls are fighting over you. Whatever next?’

Summer With Em - Chapter 14

By Julie D Cole

When we arrived at Ems apartment she insisted we all change into our night clothes and have a chat and a drink of water that would reduce the chances of a hangover.

It appeared that Bec’s had her own section of a wardrobe in Ems room with spare underwear and nightwear and it made sense based upon what Frankie had disclosed in confidence. They were clearly very fond of each other.

We sat removing make-up and I moved onto an armchair so that they could sit together. We were worried about Frankie and each of us had our phones on hand in the hope of a call. Finally my phone lit up much to our relief with a text message saying that she had arrived home and had treated the small cut so not to worry she would live. I was hoping for a call but Bec’s said that was typical Fran to downplay things just like a man would do.

I asked what she meant because she had looked and behaved normally apart from her strong views.

‘She likes to think like a man and considers herself equal or better that’s all.’

‘I like her for that don’t you. She is very confident and she seems well connected and she is very beautiful’

Bec’s chipped in ‘Attractive I would say rather than beautiful. She is a bit of a power dresser at work and even if we go out casually she likes to stand out and wears designer brands of most things. Even her undies are top of the range. ’

Em responded before I had chance. ‘Oh yes and how would you know that?’

‘We’ve both been in the dressing rooms trying outfits silly.’

‘Yes but I was focused on getting changed and if I liked the items I was trying on.’

‘Oh yes so you never even took a peek.’

They both started giggling and couldn’t keep their faces straight any longer. I was picturing how Frankie might look and imagined she would be a bit of a show off in the dressing rooms with her figure. I received another text to bring me back to earth and it was Frankie asking if I was alone if she called. Becs and Em were ready to go to bed so I took the opportunity to go to my room and said goodnight to leave them to whatever fun they might want to get up to. I was pleased to see that Em had a good friend and a good social life and hoped it might rub off on me whilst I was in Manchester. But I didn’t want to be in the way.

I snuggled up in bed and sent a text back to say ok and switched my phone to vibrate so it didn’t ring out so not to alert Em and Bec’s.

‘Hi Kimbers are you back safe and ready for your beauty sleep?’
‘Yes but I am worried about you so I don’t know whether I’ll get to sleep. You should have gone to A&E for a check up. We should have insisted.’

‘Don’t worry my head is hard enough and my skull is thick enough. It was just a small cut and probably I’ll have a bruise tomorrow. No point sitting in A & E on a Saturday night when it would be full of aggressive male drunks swearing and abusing the medical staff.’

‘Yes but you might need stitches and the wound needed cleaning to stop infection.’

‘Don’t worry pretty. George and Amy came in and Amy took a look at it. She is a trained nurse and she checked it and cleaned it. Pity about the blood in my hair but I’ll sort it out tomorrow.’

‘Good I’m glad you are OK and it was all my fault. Stupid bitch for chasing after me. I never encouraged her she just assumed I was there as prey for her and her mates. I never expected to be chatted up and it’s the first time anything like that has ever happened.’

‘Well you are a bit of a catch and you have an amazing smile. It is a famous gay bar and the ladies room is a prime location for making an approach. Same for the guys in the gents.’

‘So I suppose it’s put you off for a return then?’

‘Well not if we’re in a group and we stick together.’

‘What if it was just the two of us then? I’d look after you.’

‘Well I guess I’d consider it seriously if the situation arose but I don’t think that’s likely. It’s not like I’m your type.’

‘Really how do you know if you’re my type or not? I like you. Wasn’t that obvious tonight?’

‘Well I thought you were very generous and kind because I’m Em’s cousin and you all made me very welcome in your group. I really enjoyed the night until it ended with you being hurt.’

‘Well we all took a shine to you. We didn’t even joke about your London accent.’

‘But I don’t have an accent. Do I.’

‘Just a bit but not as bad as the girls who get on the reality programmes. We’ll soon get you speaking like we do up here. I’m happy to be your coach.’

‘Thanks but I don’t know what mum would think when I go back home in September. She does pull Em’s leg about the way she speaks.’

‘Well I can start the lessons tomorrow if you like. I’m free all day.’

‘Oh but what about Em?’

‘She doesn’t need lessons. Anyway she’ll be happy for a bit of time to relax with Bec’s if she knows you have something planned.’

‘I guess it would give them privacy and I don’t want to get in the way. I was thinking of going round to the leisure centre or something to get out of the way.’

‘How about I pick you up and we go for a drive so I show you the area and how nice it is in the countryside?’

‘Are you sure you should be driving with a sore head.’

‘Of course or I wouldn’t ask you.’

‘OK then so what time?’

‘How about 11-30 to give you chance to have a lay in and get ready. But don’t eat much and we’ll have something together. I have a place in mind.’

‘Oh that sounds nice. Are you sure it’s OK?’

‘Yes perfect. I’ll be on the dot. Now I hope you are nicely snuggled up and that you’ll get to sleep and dream of me. ’

‘No please I don’t like nightmares.’

‘So you like to make fun? Wait ‘till I see you tomorrow. I’ll get my revenge.’

‘OK but now I’m frightened.’

‘So you should be young lady. Just wait.’

‘Night night angel. Sending you my kisses. Wish I was there to cuddle up.’

‘Night night Frankie. Thanks again for your kindness. I hope you recover and don’t have a heaache.’

I turned out the light. There was still some activity going on in Em’s room next door. I hoped they weren’t ill with all the wine we’d drunk. I felt like I was floating so I wrapped my arms around one of the large pillows I’d discarded earlier. That did the trick and I was soon asleep.

……………………………………….

Even though I’d been late to bed and had been talking with Frankie I was awake by 8am. There was no sign of life from Em’s room and I was a bit concerned as I flushed the toilet after relieving myself. I needed a cup of tea and a slice of toast to speed up my recovery from the wine I’d consumed.

I looked in the mirror as I washed my hands and my nipples were prominent through the light cotton t shirt I was wearing for sleeping that stretched to my thighs covering the panties I’d been wearing since we dressed to go out. They fitted snugly and hardly showed a bump as a consequence. My nipples had become very sensitive these last few days that was nice and made me conscious of my breasts that I cupped and massaged. They were quite firm but still soft and smooth and since my chest was hairless they were more girl than boy. Most guys I’d seen at school and college had a lot of body hair with much broader shoulders than me and were muscular. I had narrow shoulders and thin upper arms so my chest was more prominent than it would have been on any of the guys. There were in fact only three of us not fully developed through puberty by my observations and none of us were able to compete at sports hence we tended to keep to ourselves.

I still had traces of eyeliner now I’d seen myself in the light and more sober. I hadn’t done a bad job cleaning my face considering the lateness and my hair still had plenty of lift. I guessed I was floating when I fell asleep.

Since there was no sign of life I didn’t bother with a gown and slippers as I moved through to the kitchen to boil the kettle and put the bread in the toaster. I bent down to try to find the spread in the fridge and then heard a voice.

‘Nice sight for early on a Sunday Kim. You should be careful since you never know who might be coming around the corner.’

It was Bec’s.

‘Hi Bec’s good morning. Thanks so much for last night. I really enjoyed it. ‘

‘Yes I enjoyed it too. I always do. It’s a regular event so hopefully we’ll be doing it again before long. Are you making tea? Em is ready for one and so am I. Our mouths are dry as bones. ’

‘Sorry that you found me half dressed like this. I didn’t expect either of you to be up so early. I didn’t want to stay in bed since that stupid bitch upset me when she attacked Frankie. ’

‘Did you here anymore from her. Nether Em nor I had any messages from her yet we are her friends. I hope she is OK.’

I couldn’t tell a lie so I admitted we’d spoken because I couldn’t sleep and that Amy had checked the injury and treated it. Then I told her that she was calling round to take me for a drive to show me some of the countryside.

‘She doesn’t hang around our Fran. She rarely misses a chance to check our friends out and she may try it on. She has relationships with men and women and she’ll view you as fresh young blood.’

‘Does she know about me then if she likes both men and women?’

‘No not that I know of. Are you comfortable like this? It does seem like it. You’ve clearly convinced George and Amy after you met them at the mall and again last night. It was the same in the restaurant and at Kiki Di’s. I’ve been impressed and Em has been proven right to encourage you.’

‘ Well I’ve surprised myself and I guess that day yesterday has been coming and Em has encouraged me and the more she did the more I liked it. But right now I’m just treating it as a chance to see a chance of a life that hasn’t been possible for me at home in London. I don’t have a social life and mum has been worried about me.’

‘So what about tomorrow when you turn up to work? You’ve been introduced as the Kim who arrived in Manchester and not the one who we saw last night. Em was right when she told me that I’d be surprised.’

‘I was a bit scared but I couldn’t stop myself. I guess I expected you to be angry but Em said you would be supportive. I like to be liked and treated like other people are treated instead of as a whimp of a boy. It’s awful to be bullied and ridiculed. Last night I felt that I fitted in and all of you seem to be accepting of each others preferences and situations.’

‘Yes we live and let live and we all prefer female company so you do fit in like this.’

‘It’s so exciting to be Em’s cousin Kim and to be like this. For a start I don’t have to hide these.’

‘Are they real? I thought you were wearing inserts in your bra.’

‘Yes these started to develop a while ago. Today they are sticking out because I’m not taping them like I had to do when I came for the interview.’

‘Can I take a look? Would you mind?’

‘But your tea will go cold and Em will be waiting.’

‘Em will be fast asleep and we are not to a couple of tea bags are we. Let me look please.’

I lifted my t shirt and turned to face Bec’s. I felt embarrassed but she smiled and said she knew exactly how I felt because all girls are the same when breasts start budding.’

‘But I’m a boy. Are these budding like a girls breasts?’

‘Well they seem the same as mine were when I was fourteen or so.’

‘But I’m nineteen and I’m supposed to be a boy.’

‘Can I feel them? Would you mind? I gather you were fitted for a bra yesterday.’

‘OK but be careful since this morning they are a bit sore and sensitive.’

‘Sorry if my hands are cold. I won’t hurt you honestly. We’ve all gone through this and still suffer sometimes when it’s our period.’

‘Ooh your hands are cold.’

‘Oh I can see that you like it just look at how your nipples have reacted. How do you feel?’

‘It feels like I don’t want you to stop. I like it.’

‘Yes this is a bust not a flabby chest. Welcome to our world. Is everything alright below?’ Are you developed?’

‘Yes but I’d rather not show you or let you touch if you don’t mind. I’m not very big but everything works.’

‘You mean that you can pee ok or more than that?’

‘Yes more than that. I’ve ejaculated but not often.’

‘Have you taken advice or visited your GP to seek help. Maybe you would respond to treatment.’

‘No but mum discussed with me a few times and she said that when I was born therer was some doubt about my gender but everything sorted itself out.’

‘Maybe you need some testosterone injections or tablets or a change of diet.’

‘Maybe I need more time like this as an alternative. Just for a week or so where nobody knows me. That was one of mums ideas when I first discussed it with her.’

‘Maybe. So is that what you’ve decided?’

‘Not final but after yesterday I’m more convinced to give it a go.’

‘How long? A week or a month or the whole summer?’

‘I don’t know yet but maybe more than just a day or so.’

‘Would you like to come to work as a girl? I can fix it if you like.’

‘Well it would be easier whilst I have these don’t you think?’

‘Yes and you won’t need the strapping. You can wear a bra like the rest of us and even a swimming costume rather than a t shirt when you go in the pool. You’d have to use the womens changing rooms. Does that bother you?’

‘No I can’t really go in the mens so it might be easier. I don’t feel comfortable anyway with men parading around in the buff. They make me feel totally inadequate.’

‘You don’t fancy them then?’

.Bec’s no I don’t.’

‘I was only kidding. Let me sort things out for Monday morning and I’ll change your records and you can present as female. You can put your t shirt down by the way.’

‘Oops sorry. Thanks Bec’s shall we talk to Em about it?’

‘OK I’ll take her a fresh cuppa and tell her what we’ve discussed.’

‘Oh Bec’s there is just one thing. Do you think she’ll be hurt if I say I’m going out with Fran?’

‘Not at all. I’ll take her somewhere for the day since my husband is not back until tonight from his competition and he’ll be all done in anyway.’

‘ Thanks Bec’s. I love you.’

‘It’s OK come on open the door for me please before these go cold as well.’

Summer with Em - Part 15

By Julie D Cole

Bec’s smiled at me as I opened the bedroom door because I knocked first out of politeness. I couldn’t resist a peek and I noticed that Em was snuggled up under the sheets. She heard us and peered out and pulled herself up to lean on one elbow. I heard a sleepy acknowledgement of our presence ‘ Hi Kim.’

Bec’s passed her tea and she took a sip. Without make-up and with ruffled hair I could see the close resemblance to mum. Bec’s jumped in beside her and it was clear that they weren’t ready to get up yet. I decided it was a good opportunity to shower and I collected a bag soaps, shampoos, conditioners and found some ladyshave razors and shaving foam in the bathroom cabinet.

I decided to de-fuzz my legs because of Em’s threat of waxing that sounded painful. I sat on the side of the bath and covered my legs with foam and worked my way from top to bottom one leg at a time. It wasn’t easy especially at the back but at least I didn’t cut or nick myself. I showered to rinse away any soap residue and stepped out to dry myself. They were smooth and looked much more feminine especially after I applied soothing lotion. I wrapped a small towel around my head as I’d seen mum do many times and wrapped a large bath towel around my body covering my bust and tucked it to hold it in position. I moved through to sit on my bed and opened my drawers to select a bra and pantie set.

There was a knock on the door and Em entered to thank me for preparing the tea and to apologise if they’d disturbed me after I’d gone to bed because they were chatting and giggling for ages. It seemed more than that but I didn’t say anything.

She sat on the bed and looked down at my legs as I crossed them that caused the towel to open slightly despite me holding it.

‘Oh you’ve de-fuzzed. No need for me to arrange a wax yet then?’

No I was a bit nervous because as well as the pain I didn’t think it could be done without the risk of my boy bits showing.’

‘We could have dealt with that so no need to worry. Hair removal by waxing is much more effective and it lasts much longer. So I never shave unless I miss an appointment that is rare. Bec’s ensures I go regularly around the same time as her so she sorts it out with the salon where you work. Waxing isn’t so painful as you might think if it’s done properly and the hairs aren’t too short. They actually get softer the more times we de-fuzz. A bikini wax is more painful but Bec’s and I actually prefer to leave our bushes alone apart from a trim. It’s much healthier.’

‘Maybe it’s a man thing. I don’t think we handle pain as well as women.’

‘Where’s the man? If your mum could see you now she’d be surprised how quickly you’ve changed. You have a pretty face and your mannerisms are quite feminine. Look at the way you use your hands to emphasize what you are saying.’

‘I suppose I picked it up naturally from mum since we’ve spent so much time together with nobody else around.’

‘Anyway the real reason I came in to see you was because Bec’s told me you had confided in her and let her see how your bust has developed. She said that she has agreed that you can dress and work as a member of the female staff that she will sort out from tomorrow. Is that what you want? It won’t be easy surrounded by a lot of women all day.’

‘Yes I want to give it a try. The staff are nice and I’ll take extra care. I really like how I look as a girl that makes me feel like I belong. I fit in better with people than I did at home and look how your friends seem to have accepted me.’

‘Yes well that’s another thing I wanted to discuss. I gather you spoke with Fran last night and you are meeting her to spend the day together. Be careful because whilst she’s a friend she is a smart character and she won’t be fooled. So try to keep your distance. She has had affairs with men and women and you are a bit young for her. ’

‘No I’m not. She is not that much older than me and anyway we are only going out for lunch. I wanted to give you and Bec’s some space because it seems you are very close. Are you both in love ? It seems like it.’

‘Well I appreciate you giving us space but you are my responsibility and I don’t want you to feel pushed aside. Bec’s is married and she made her choice a few years ago. We don’t hide our friendship. Most women have a special relationship with another women and it doesn’t always mean they are bonking each other. Bec’s has always been my bestie and we are very close. We are like sisters.’

‘Yes I have noticed and I’m happy for you both. You seem very affectionate with each other when you are together. Don’t you worry that her husband will find out and kick her out?’

‘We are close and he realised before they married that we like the same things and we confide in each other. I was her chief bridesmaid.’

‘But Em didn’t you meet anybody and have a relationship like she did? Besties usually find boys who have friends.’

‘We did but I drew the short straw and it didn’t last. I’ve never been lucky in love and men are usually a bit gung ho with no technique or foreplay. Bec’s does turn me on and she knows my sweet spots. I can’t help myself when I’m with her I would do anything for her and she is the same with me. Hence she arranged the job for you.’

‘Oh I sort of guessed that at the interview.’

‘Anyway back to Fran are you sure you are comfortable to go out with her. There is nobody around to distract her and you’ll be in broad daylight. She doesn’t form friendships easily but she clearly likes you.’

‘Yes I like her and I think she is very attractive. I’d have no chance to have a date with someone like her as a skinny boy. Women don’t look twice and I’m like that man in the film Cellophane man.’

‘No you’re not you just never had chance yet. It happens.’

‘Anyway I am so excited to go out with Frankie. I hope she likes me. It would be the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me. Oh except for you Aunt Em.’

‘Too late. I’m cast aside like the rubbish. I’ll just have to do something with Bec’s if she’ll accept me.’

‘No I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.’

‘I’m teasing so you go have fun and take care.’

‘Thanks I love you. The problem is that I’ve never been on a date before. I don’t know what to wear.’

‘Well that’s easy because she’ll be driving her Z4 sports car with the top down. So you need something a bit sporty not too dressy. She’ll be smart casual. You get your underwear on and I’ll go find you something that you can borrow. I won’t need it since I’m only with Bec’s. You’d then better start drying your hair or you won’t be ready in time. I’ll help you finish it off. ‘

She disappeared and so I dropped the towel and put on the underwear. White lace was going to be ok with anything. I put on a bathrobe and plugged in the hair drier in the dressing table drawer. I brushed it out as straight as I could and hoped Em might help me again.

Em came back with some items from her wardrobe but had made up her mind what I ought to wear so it wasn’t going to be a fashion parade.

‘I recommend you go for a sporty look to show off your legs and since she’ll be whizzing along with the top down I think you ought to wear a baseball cap that means you can just put your hair in a pony-tail. Try these shorts and this top.’

‘ Shorts? I could wear mine couldn’t I?’

‘Don’t even go there Kim. Man shorts are nothing like these designer shorts. They are my favorite pair so don’t make a mess of them please. Better not to wear anything too short and these do well down the leg almost to your knees. They go well with this peach coloured top.’

‘Wow that’s a bit bright. Are you sure?’

‘You’re going on a date aren’t you? Fran won’t be taking you anywhere cheap and this colour will suit you.’

‘ It’s a bit low cut at the front. It shows my boobs.’

‘Yes that will be better in case you slip up a bit and you revert to boy mode. Showing some boob always helps.’

‘I like the shorts. Were these very expensive since the material is soft and doesn’t look like it will crease.’

‘Turn around let’s take a look at your tush. Mmm not bad. That will attract a lot of attention if you bend down so don’t drop anything.’

‘Are you sure. They feel tight and there are no pockets.’

‘They are meant to be tight and you don’t need pockets. You won’t be playing with yourself anymore and you’ll have a shoulder bag for your bits and pieces. I’m even giving you my favorite perfume. Fran likes it too. It’s a bit young for me and Bec’s prefers me au naturel so she is free of perfume when she goes home. You don’t need to use too much you are not spraying the fence. Just a slight mist is fine. Mmm I could fancy you myself if you weren’t my cousin.’

‘Niece.’

‘Cousin you are in Manchester. We don’t do nieces up here.’

She produced a pair of sneakers and some short socks that looked perfect and fitted fine. She loaned me a bag that matched and sat me down to attend to my hair. It was easier to style it with a pony-tail that would be pulled through the back of cap once I was ready to leave and so Em helped me with my make-up. Nothing too dramatic but enough to enhance my best features as Em said.

We went through to the breakfast bar where Bec’s was brewing some coffee and her reaction said it all. I felt amazing.

‘Mmm we might have to use you to promote the Liesure Centre and bring in a professional photographer.’

‘Please. No way don’t say that.’
‘Don’t worry I was joking. We’ll just send the photos out on facebook. That’ll be enough.’

They both laughed so I knew it was still a joke.

We sat and enjoyed our coffee and then Em had me walk about a bit since I had no heels to remind me how to walk like a girl. I passed the audition by taking small steps and imagining I was walking on a narrow plank.

Half an hour later I got a message on my phone to say Frankie had arrived and I took a deep breath and waved good bye.

‘Don’t be too late you have a big day tomorrow.’

Summer with Em - Part 16

By Julie D Cole

As I left the building I immediately noticed Frankies car that was immaculate and it looked as if it had just left the showroom. The top was down and she was leaning against it looking every bit the young executive with her sunglasses perched on her head and her hair tied back in a bun.

She immediately came forward to greet me as soon as she saw me step out of the door with a broad smile on her face.

‘Hi Kimmie you look amazing. Nice legs and looking cute as ever.’

She kissed me on both cheeks and took hold of my waist before opting to smudge my fresh lipstick. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to collect my composure in case we were being observed by any of Em’s neighbors. I didn’t want to cause any embarrassment but at the same time somebody apart from my mother was holding me closely but slimmer and not so well endowed. Because I was in sports shoes Frankie was slightly taller than me and our breasts touched and seemed to immediately bond. I liked the feeling.

‘Are you ready to be spoiled and see some of the area Kimmie. I love your outfit. Good choice.’

‘Actually it was Em who recommended I dress like this and she has loaned me everything….. Apart from the underwear of course.’

‘Well she’s a star. I get the benefit. Don’t you just love her?’

Frankie opened to passenger door and I did my best to sit in the low seat without making a fool of myself. It was not easy and I had to hold onto Frankies arm to steady myself. I was relieved to be wearing shorts.

Frankie was smiling as she took her seat and started the engine. She revved the engine to demonstrate the power beneath the engine that might not have been well appreciated by the neighbors on a Sunday morning. I asked what was making her smile.

‘I was just looking up to Em’s window. She was waving to us so I thought I’d give her a few rev’s to thank her for bringing you to Manchester. Let me show you how this car goes. I have a route in mind that has some nice winding roads. It’s a great day for a drive.’

We were soon heading out of Manchester heading towards the nice surrounding countryside that would give Frankie chance to show how her car handled the smaller roads with twists and turns. En route we had a few fast starts from traffic lights at cross roads where Frankie challenged young male drivers and she left them standing every time. I could see now that she liked to intimidate men that scared me a bit. I thought I would have to be very careful not to upset her and let her know my true identity as Em had advised.

She clearly liked driving and her choice of German car certainly brought admiring glances and it was immaculate. The leather seat seemed to hug my butt and hips as if it had been made to measure. I tried to keep my knees together as Em had taught me even though I was wearing shorts. Frankie did keep glancing at them and commented on their slenderness. I decided to discreetly place my shoulder bag in my crutch area seeking my lipstick and compact mirror to check my lips. Just in case of any risk of my boy bits coming free. There was something stirring when she gazed into my eyes when we’d stopped at the last set of lights before she revved the engine and shot off to leave the two guys alongside us in her wake. Their VW Golf wasn’t fast enough and the driver stuck out his tongue at me.
I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was so close to a major city and Frankie could certainly handle the car like a professional driver. The sun was shining and with the top down I was pleased Em had recommended the baseball cap to avoid sunstroke and keep my hair in place.

‘Where are we heading Frankie please. Anywhere nice?’

‘Yep we are going over the hills to Darley Dale that is a nice village near Buxton that’s a favorite stop for me. With luck we can get a table outside since I know the owners. We were at school together in Buxton before I headed to University.’

I was impressed as we slowed to approach the pub. It was painted white and so quaint. At typical country pub popular with hikers and groups but today we were lucky. Frankie parked and opened the door for me taking my hand. She didn’t let go as we headed across the car park to the pub entrance. Frankies schoolfriend was attending to some guests and spotted us as we climbed the steps. She hugged Frankie and they were clearly good friends.

I looked out across the road at a cute old style red telephone box that mum had told me were common in her day before mobile phones. Alongside was a post box. This would have made the perfect scene for a Christmas card with a bit of snow around.
‘Sall this is a new friend who is up from London for the summer. She’s staying with Em in Manchester so I thought I’d show her where we grew up and enjoy a lunch together. Is Ian working today?’

Sally shook me by the hand and I tried to keep my grip as soft as possible. She was taller than both Frankie and I even in flats and her hair was tied back. An apron covered her ample breasts that might have distracted the customers. She wore a white teashirt and bright blue leggings. It seemed that Frankie and her had lived next door to each other growing up.

‘Anything I should know about Fran? Serious or casual?’

‘Nothing serious but tempted.’

I didn’t really know what they were talking about so I looked around at some of the customers. Most were dressed smartly rather than in walking gear so I was pleased we’d made the effort. There was a small table with a reserved sign and Sally pointed us towards it whilst she finished taking a lunch order.

Frankie sat alongside me so we could both look out and we looked at the menu. ‘How about a drink? Anything you like.’ I opted for a spring water since we were near Buxton and Frankie did the same.

I was conscious of the need to watch my weight so selected a Chicken Caesar Salad without the anchovies that were too strong for me. Frankie had the same. It was served by her friend Ian who came out to meet us and especially to welcome me. I stood up to greet him and he quickly looked me up and down before smiling. I was definitely passing and gaining in confidence each day. I was glad I’d worn clean underwear. His eyes seemed to penetrate outer layers. He kissed my cheek and I felt the roughness of his unshaven cheeks. I couldn’t believe I was being kissed by a man but at least there was no kissing on the lips.

It was a great venue and we were made very welcome. Frankie held my hand under the table interlocking our fingers and asked if I was enjoying myself. I was of course even though I was very nervous. It was my first real date with anybody and I wasn’t having to pay or do any of the work. Frankie seemed much nicer than the image she tried to present as an Alpha Female.

When our plates were cleared Frankie ordered coffees so we could sit and enjoy the sunshine since our table had the full benefit. It was an opportunity to tan my legs a little so I stretched them out moving them from under the table. I was glad I’d shaved them and used some of Em’s body cream. I wondered why I’d never thought of shaving them before since they looked better. Frankie put her hand on my right knee and asked if I exercised to keep them toned but apart from some walking in truth I’d done nothing since my school days. I wasn’t one for jogging or cycling although I was happy with sports like basketball and volleyball. Not that I was any good mainly due to my lack of height. Some friends would lift me up and tease me. It was usually to embarrass me and I was christened ‘Squirt’ that stuck with me all through my schooldays.

I remembered how embarrassing it was to be one of the smallest in the class especially in my early teens when the girls seemed to shoot up faster than most boys and with their breasts developing as well they seemed older and even they teased me. If they could see me now they’d be very surprised. I had grown at last even though I was short for a man and like all of them I had breasts. Probably bigger than quite a few of them. Fortunately not whilst at school or I don’t know what would have happened. They were frequently touched up by the more outgoing boys in the class especially the bustier ones.

Frankie brought me back to earth by asking what I was thinking about since I seemed to be in a reverie. I told her I’d been thinking about where I lived and the lack of countrysid and how lucky she had been to grow up near Buxton and Darley Dale that sounded like something from a childrens programme on CBeebies.

She laughed and said that she’d settle the bill and take me for a walk and then for a drive around where she’d lived and to see the sights of Darley Dale. She laughed and said it would only take ten minutes.

Ian and Sally came out to say goodbye and there were kisses all around. I watched how Frankie turned her cheeks to accept Ians kisses and copied her. I still felt his whiskers and at least he apologised and said he’d shave next time. Sally had taken off her apron and she had the most beautiful figure that was most unexpected for someone running a pub and restaurant. I could see her nipples that were prominent even though I could see bra straps. My own nipples seemed to want to say hello so I tried to cover them by folding my arms as best I could. Ian seemed to notice my fear and excused himself that was polite of him.

We waved goodbye and Frankie took my hand to help me down the steps at the front of the patio area onto the road and pointed to a small path at the other side that crossed a stream and said she wanted us to follow it through the small woodland to the top of the hill to lok over Darley Dale and Buxton. She assured me that it was safe and not too far if I was up to it and at least it was quiet and free of the public apart from hikers from time to time.

As we walked she asked if I was enjoying myself and what I thought of the pub and her friends. They’d been in a relationship since they were fourteen and they had taken over the pub from Ians grandfather that had hardly changed. They had music nights even though it was small and a hen racing event in August that she wanted me to come and see with her. She would then get chance to see old friends from Darley Dale.

I gave a half nod of acceptance but said she might prefer to go with a boyfriend but that I was available at the moment if needed. She smiled and said there were no men in her life other than those who reported to her and she was not looking. I was hesitant to follow up and tried to change the subject but she didn’t let the subject drop.

‘Kimmy I’m more comfortable with girlfriends and I just had a bad experience with a group of boys from school that has put me off them for life.’

‘But don’t you want to marry and have a family.’

‘Well I’d marry if I found the right person and if she wants then who knows we might adopt.’

I was a bit surprised because Frankie was very attractive and was doing well at work so she seemed quite a catch. She didn’t look like a lesbian.

What was I thinking? It was a good job I didn’t speak out. I had never met any so called lesbians before and in the last two days I’d become friends with 5 girls who preferred female company and seemed very happy in each-others company. I liked them all and they’d welcomed me. They all had good sense of humours and all of them had good jobs and were relatively well off. The world had changed a lot in my short lifetime.

As we passed the wood Frankie pointed up into the trees at the birds and it caused me to stumble as I wasn’t watching where I was going. I fell into her and she caught me and helped me to my feet facing me and holding me firmly until I got recovered my balance. Our faces were close together and she smiled and asked if I was OK.

‘Kimmie I’m surprised that boys didn’t chase after you because you are so sweet and beautiful? Would you be offended if I kissed you just to taste your lips. That’s a nice colour you chose.’

I didn’t get chance to answer yes or no before Frankie pulled me towards her and kissed me lightly on the lips. It wasn’t a long or passionate kiss (not that I was an expert) but I wished it had been longer. I couldn’t believe it since if I’d been dressed in my regular outfit with no make-up she wouldn’t even be in 5 miles of me.

We carried on to the top of the hill and she held my hand all the way. Once at the top she told me to close my eyes and stood behind me with her arms around me. ‘Now you can look. Did you ever see anything like this? Look down there is Darley Dale. You can just make out our old school. Across there is Buxton.’

Summer with Em – Chapter 17

By Julie D Cole

We sat down on the grassy bank to enjoy the view across the National Park that was lush and green. Frankie edged closer to me pointing out landmarks leaning so close that I could feel her breath on my cheek and her breast against my arm. I looked out following the direction of her outstretched arm and pointed finger. I daren’t move a muscle in case I sent out the wrong signal as much as I was attracted to her.

My lack of response seemed to disappoint Frankie who withdrew a little so I turned to face her and she smiled and her eyes locked on mine. I sighed and she asked if I was happy and comfortable sitting so close to her. I was caught in her deep blue eyes so I just nodded. I seemed incapable of speaking. Her eyes were beautifully hypnotic and seemed to be penetrating mine searching my mind. I guess I’d always avoided eye contact growing up in case people could work out what I was thinking and I was never sure.

‘Kimmie you are very pretty today that seems to be natural. Did you inherit it from your mother or your fathers side of the family?’

‘I guess more from my mother’s side that excites her because she likes to compare me with photo’s of her at the same age.’

‘Yes I remember Em showing me photo’s of the two of them and maybe we’ll ask her to get her album out later to look at her as well since you also seem like sisters. Maybe she has some photo’s of you growing up. I’d like to see if you’ve changed.’

My fears suddenly went into overdrive since I wondered if Frankie had her suspicions about me and in any case even if not she might soon find out. It wasn’t like all this was intentional on my part and I’d never arrived in Manchester aiming to dress and act as a girl. It just happened. It wasn’t as if I was deliberately leading her on or trying to mislead her but I’d found that dressing and behaving like this was exciting. It meant that I was treated differently and it felt so nice.

‘Kimmie did you know that Em and I met at college in Manchester and we shared a house with two other girls and then moved out to live together, just the two of us, for a while. I had boyfriends and also girlfriends sometimes but Em didn’t mind. Rebecca came and stayed over sometimes and slept with Em when she did. We got on well together and have stayed friends.’

‘So didn’t you have a steady relationship then?’

‘No not since I lived near Buxton when I was at school.’

‘Did you lose contact then? Were you in love with him?’

‘It never went that far but I was helping him because he was different and he was having a lot of trouble with his family. He became like a sister to me and he asked my advice on all sorts of things.’

‘Oh so what’s happened to him has he moved away?’

‘He’s gone. He was so special and it took me a long time to recover. He was bullied and worse than that his family didn’t seem to understand him or realize the pain he was going through.’

‘ Oh I’m so sorry so if he has gone from your life did you try to contact him or keep in touch? Will he come back do you think?’

‘Would that he could because he had so much to offer the world. So smart and so artistic and he excelled at most things and he loved music.’

‘So did that put you off men and influence your opinions about them?’

‘Well I decided to take my revenge on men because they’d bullied him and forced him to feel guilty and he withdrew into himself. I saw his personality change and tried to make him come to his senses but really I didn’t know the half of it. Please let’s not talk of sad things because we came out to have fun. You remind me of him in a way.‘

‘But he was a boy wasn’t he?’

‘Sometimes but with me he was Steph not Steve. He never liked Stephen but he did like Stephanie so we shortened it to Steph. He was happy when we were together but sad when he went home. He had beautiful eyes like yours.’

I wasn’t sure where the conversation was leading us but it was upsetting Frankie so I stood up and pulled her to her feet. She tried to hide her tears and pretended that a fly had flown into her eye and turned away. I offered her a tissue that she used to wipe her cheeks and pretended she’d got it.

We headed back down the hill to the car and I took her hand. She was quiet for most of the way down and I didn’t say anything to let her recover her normal self.

Once back at the car Frankie suggested we drive around Darley Dale and Buxton. She drove much more slowly than on the journey down from Manchester pointing out landmarks. She pulled up outside a small gift shop and suggested I look around whilst she ran a small errand.

I went inside and turned to look through the window and watched her walk across the road and through the gates of the village church and round the back. She was back about 20 minutes later and met me inside the shop as I was looking at some inexpensive necklaces and bracelets.

‘Are you ok Frankie you look upset.’

‘I’m fine I just visited mum and dad’s graves but what upset me was visiting Steph’s. She was just twenty-one when she decided she’d had enough. But what about me? I’m left behind.’

‘Frankie I’m so sorry are you OK to drive?’

‘I will be soon. Come on there is a tea shop a short walk away lets go and try some local cake and a pot of tea. I want to buy some flowers to put on the two graves and you can help me if you like.’

The tea certainly worked wonders and Frankie knew the owner that helped a lot as they reminisced. Frankie was seen as the local girl who made good. I was introduced as a close friend. We selected carrot cake and shared a slice with Frankie teasing me by feeding me rather than me using my own fork. At least she was back smiling.

Then as we left she purchased three bunches of flowers and she said her goodbye from her friend and we headed to the church. I was very nervous since graveyards reminded me of evil things and that one day it would be me buried and lost in one of these places and it always sent a cold shiver down my spine. I wasn’t exactly dressed for visiting grave sides and at Frankies request I carried the flowers.

Frankie directed me to her parents grave and then to her friend Stephs. We stopped at both whilst she prayed. Well more like she spoke to each of them in turn as she placed the flowers carefully. Perhaps they could hear her and perhaps not but it was comforting Frankie.

I read the epitaphs and the message on Stephs gravestone that was moving. ‘ In memory of a beautiful daughter and a wonderful son so dearly loved and misunderstood. Forgive us our sins.’

It was a shock and it made me think that I where my current joy of dressing and the happiness it was bringing me might end if I didn’t think carefully. Perhaps I had to stop and at least talk it over with Em because I didn’t want to risk hurting my mother and leading a life where I might be rejected. Frankie noticed the tears in my eyes and put her arm around me offering a tissue.

‘Sorry Kimmie I didn’t bring you here to upset you, I should have come alone.’

‘But it’s so sad and you told me he was like a sister and became a special friend. Was he a boy or a girl?’

‘He was both as it says a beautiful young woman and a wonderful young man. I fell in love with both. But he was so hurt by negative comments and bullying that whatever I said she felt out of place. I should have taken her away where people would only see the woman she became.’

‘So you didn’t mind that she was different?’

‘She wasn’t different at all she was just misunderstood.’

I was beginning to think that this visit to Darley Dale had a purpose and that Frankie knew more than she was prepared to let on. She took my arm and we headed back to her car.

‘Thank you for coming here with me today. It wasn’t my intention when we set out but you remind me so much of Steph that I wanted you to meet her.’

....................................................................................................

A short Chapter in memory of Steph

....................................................................................................

Summer With Em – Part 18

By Julie D Cole

It was still a nice warm sunny day as we walked and I was glad to be wearing shorts. I hoped that this was at least a chance to tan my legs now they were smooth and hairless since I’d be working through the day for the next week with no chance to sun bathe. At least whilst I was at college I’d have been able to take advantage of the many free periods.

Frankie seemed more relaxed and she didn’t seem in a hurry as we stopped occasionally whilst she reminisced and told me about different things that had happened whilst growing up. Village life seemed so different than the life I’d led growing up in the London area with freedom to walk about without fear of confrontation or risk of attack. I wondered if that was a reason why I’d had few friends and rarely went out. Mum didn’t like me to be out of her sight but Frankie and her friends had roamed over the hills or played games in the fields.

I made my mind up that I needed to find a job away from London after university but much depended on my final career and by co-incidence asked about my ambitions now sixth form college was finished. I’d decided that I needed a 1 year course in art and graphic design but I new it was very competitive. I hoped to go to university around Manchester if I liked the area that was another reason why mum had suggested I spend the summer with Em.

‘Are you artistic then Kimmie? Would you have any of your work with you that I can see since I’d like to know more about you? ’

Frankie had seemed to be connected to me and wired into my thoughts that was a bit spooky. How did she know what I’d been thinking?

‘ Yes I’ve brought my porfolio to work on but I couldn’t carry much but I’ve got lot’s of things on my computer. I wish I’d brought my camera with me today to take some shots of village life and the countryside. I didn’t really think it was appropriate and I’d no idea where we were coming and I never expected all this.’

‘Well don’t worry we can do it again anytime just give me the word. Evenings are quite nice too and as you see it doesn’t take long to get here from Em’s place as long as we beat the rush hour traffic.’

‘Thanks you are so kind it would be nice to look around Manchester too. Is it safe for me to be alone in the evening.’

‘Oh so I’m rejected then. Discarded already.’

‘No, no I didn’t mean it like that I can’t expect you to be my chaperone all the time since you are a boss with responsibilities.’

‘Yes but the advantage is that I can control my free time. I have men underneath me to do the donkey work. Not literally of course.’

She was smiling as she said it so I felt confident to ask about her relationship with Steph that seemed strange. A beautiful young woman who seemed happy in the company of women like Em, Bec’s, Amy and George who seemed to visit the Gay area and knew the night club owner who was a drag artist. Steph who was younger than her and was apparently in the same position as I now was and what had happened to him? He had died so young. My mind was racing and suddenly I realised that Frankie might still be wired in.

‘Oh you’ve come back down to earth then. What were you thinking about?’

‘I was just reflecting on how nice it was last night to be out with you and Em and your girlfriends and about your friend the club owner. Then about poor Steph. He died so young.’

‘Yes I’m lucky to have so many friends that helps since I had no brothers or sisters to lean on or spend time with. No nephews or nieces to spoil only cousins and my extended family who live around Bakewell and across in Derby. I work hard but it does get a bit frustrating since it’s a lonely life in all honesty with nobody on the horizon to spend the rest of my life with.’

‘So were you and Steph an item? You said he was a boy but referred to him as she and her.’

‘Yes he was born a boy but he didn’t feel right and he confided in me long before he told his family so I tried to help him to be the girl he wanted to be.’

‘Was he beautiful?’

‘Inside just perfect but he didn’t ever feel as beautiful on the outside as he felt he should be. He seemed to think he needed to look like a model for Vogue and at school he’d wanted to take hormones to develop like the girls around him rather than the bullies who picked on him.’

So did he take hormones then?’

‘No his family stopped him and didn’t understand about these things. They were countryside people with a farm and to them animals were for breeding or milking. They expected Steph to marry one day and provide grandchildren to inherit the farm. Steph used to joke that he really preferred to be raised for milking and he needed boobs. He did develop breasts but they weren’t meeting his specification. Not so well endowed as you though he was just as cute.’

I needed to switch the subject but it was difficult since I had so many questions to ask. I had boobs without any hormones so what would I be like if I’d have had access to them? Was I a freak? Why was that Frankie seemed attracted to me like she’d been with Steph? Did she like freaks?

‘Penny for your thoughts again Kimmie. Where are you now? Come in number 7.

‘Oh sorry again. Do you mind if I ask you what happened to Steph? Was he taken ill or was he in an accident?’

‘It’s not something I’ve been able to talk about in all honesty. It was awful. He had an argument with his parents one evening after we’d been out together. I’d helped him with his outfit and his make-up and we were supposed to go out together around Manchester. He decided he wanted to go home first to let his parents see Steph and he never called me to pick him up. I just got his answer phone then a text message to say he’d had a big bust up and a fight with his father.’

‘Oh dear so did you see him the next day.’

‘No they took his phone and wouldn’t let him leave the farm. They locked him in his room supposedly until he came to his senses and scrubbed him clean of his make-up. His father apparently shaved his head like he was shearing one of his sheep and threw all his clothes away. He was made to go with his father and labour on the farm as his punishment until he came to his senses.’

‘Who told you all this. How did you find out?’

‘It all came out at the inquest and his parents were devastated and ashamed of their treatment. It broke them both so they sold the farm and moved away.’

‘So poor Steph what happened?’

‘He took some rope from the barn and hung himself whilst his father was feeding his animals.If he treated Steph like he treated them maybe it would never have happened.’

I took Frankies arm and held on. She had tears rolling down her cheeks so I stopped her and we just hugged for ages.

‘Sorry but I needed to come back this way. Their farm was down there look. I’m glad you came with me it has helped me a lot.

There are no winners!!’

Summer With Em – Part 19

By Julie D Cole

By the time we arrived back at Frankies car she had calmed down enough to drive. I was relieved because I had absolutely no idea of how I might have reacted if a close friend had taken their own life in such circumstances and here I was dressing and behaving as the opposite gender and feeling comfortable at last.

As for Frankie I hardly knew her but I felt a connection and I liked her yet I was deceiving her and she was treating me as a girlfriend taking responsibility for me and even treating me. I’d paid for nothing since we met for the first time. I already felt that I’d known her for years and I felt so sad that she’d lost a close friend so tragically. Was I a substitute for Steph? Did she suspect or even know my real identity. I wasn’t feeling like a boy anymore but if I wasn’t honest with her it might make her even more upset.

I took her hand and she squeezed it gently and looked at me and I was relieved to see her smile a little. She just whispered thankyou and it sent a shiver down my spine that was nice but at the same time the situation I was now in was concerning me. I felt I ought to take greater care and behave responsibly as much as I liked this new life but I wasn’t able to stop myself. I was making friends and enjoying myself rather that hanging around like a geek.

Frankie opened the passenger door for me and then leaned across to kiss me and I turned towards her so it was a proper kiss on the lips rather than a peck on the cheek. My eyes closed and I expect hers did too but I’d no way of knowing.

We headed back to Manchester and after about 5 minutes my phone started to ding to notify that I had messages. It went on for a while and Frankie said not to worry since it was because our phones could receive signals again because we’d been in a dead zone. I wanted to make a joke about the graveyard but it wasn’t appropriate.

All the messages were from Em apart from one that was from Mum. I was worried that something must have happened and hadn’t realized we were in an area that didn’t have an O2 signal. I looked at mums first and was relieved that she was just contacting since she hadn’t heard from me for a few days. I was scared I suppose because we normally used WhatsApp on video call and she’d see how I’d changed. I sent her a quick text back to apologize and I told her I’d call her later and that I was out sight-seeing with a friend of Em’s.

Frankie had been watching so I told her about the panicky text’s I’d received from Em and she had said to call her because she was worried that neither of us were responding to her calls so she was concerned. I had several missed calls from her so Frankie expected the same.

I rang back straight away. Em picked up immediately after 2 rings and was relieved to hear my voice. She’d thought we might have been involved in an accident and was almost ready to ring the police and the local hospitals and she’d even tried Frankies apartment and left messages. She was also about to call mum so I told her I’d sent her a message and promised to call.

I did feel like I was being treated like a fourteen year old and said so but she told me that she was supposed to take care of me and it wasn’t like I was in my normal clothes I was out with Frankie who I hardly knew and wasn’t aware who I really was. She also worried that Frankie was a fast driver who liked to wind up male drivers whenever she could and she took risks.

I was lucky my phone wasn’t on loud speaker but Frankie seemed to suspect she was part of the conversation. Once she’d calmed a bit Em then asked our plans and where we were and what time we’d be back. Mum never seemed so concerned but then I rarely went out socially at home. Em suggested we meet up for a snack or supper and Frankie sensed what was happening and whispered to tell her we wouldn’t be late and that we’d eaten lunch and had afternoon tea.

I followed her advice and tol Em that we’d get back and meet them in the local coffee shop in the apartment complex and they could then snack as they wished. I felt awful that I’d not had the common sense to let her know where we were but I had been distracted a lot. I should not have accepted Frankies invitation so soon after meeting her but I thought I was doing the right thing to let Em and Bec’s have some tie to themselves.

‘What’s up Kimmie you seem lost in thought?’

‘I was just thinking about Em and Bec’s and their friendship. Do you think Bec’s is having problems in her marriage. I worry about them.’

‘Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. Bec’s has fallen out of love and realised that she made a mistake. Em is more than a friend and eventually I think Bec’s will have the courage to walk out.’

‘But if she did she’d need somewhere to live. Would she expect to move in with Em? I’m in the way I know I am. I can’t spoil their relationship and their future if that’s what they want.’

‘Don’t worry sweetheart they know what they are doing and my understanding is that it will be her husband doing the walking rather than Bec’s. They can spend as much time together then at her place. Anyway if you feel in the way at anytime just call. I’m available 24/7. You can stay over at my place.’

‘Thanks you are kind but I might be better to have a chat with Em and let her explain what she wants. I don’t want to be in the way of her happiness. They are like a married couple based on what I saw this morning. I’m sure they were awake most of the night.’

‘Well they both like to read a lot.’

I thought I’d better stop the conversation at that point and let Frankie focus on driving. There were an awful lot of cyclists on the road huddled together in packs. It seemed like they were a club and there must have been 20 or 30 of them before we were able to overtake and get clear.

Frankie had decided to take the scenic route back into Manchester to show me more countryside and we headed towards Sheffield that gave her chance to show me her skills on open roads once free of the Weekend Wheelers. She could never have driven like this in London where I lived. Reaching 30mph was an achievement and private cars seemed no longer welcome with so many restrictions, cycle ways, charges and taxes that the new mayor was threatening. I never saw him on a bus even though his father had worked for London Transport when he was growing up. I’d never seen him on a bike either.

Even moreso now I saw the beauty of this part of the UK. I was seriously considering moving outside London once I’d finished university and already I had my sights on Manchester. Well in truth my ideal situation might be to settle down in a village in a small cottage but I was getting too far ahead of myself. Who would want me as a boy and if I was to live like this much longer I could get used to it. Then what? Life might get a bit complicated if I didn’t take care. But on the other hand I was enjoying myself and my life seemed much better at the moment. I didn’t know what mum would think if I said such a thing.

We were now in a more built up area and I commented to Frankie that the surroundings seemed familiar somehow. Maybe I’d dreamed it or been here in a previous life or something.

‘No dear you recognize it from TV so nothing more spooky than that.’

‘But I never watched any programmes about the outskirts of Manchester.’

‘Did you watch the comedy series that Peter Kay did called Car Share?’

‘Oh yes I did where he shared his journeys to work and back with a friend Sian Gibson. I so like her. She is funny.’

‘Yes they went to college together and he was kind enough to involve her. They loved music and played great songs in their car journeys together with lots of laughter along the way. All filmed around outer Manchester so that’s why you recognise it.’

‘I must catch up again because PK is one of our greatest comedians and his knowledge of music is something I admire. I don’t know how he remembers it all. A library of information and his ability to see the funny side of real life is remarkable.’
‘Maybe I should take you sometime to see a live show at Manchester Arena where he worked before he became famous. They get some great acts.’

‘That would be fantastic as long as you let me pay. I’m not used to being treated all the time. In London we tend to pay our own ends. Everything is so expensive. Not that I get out much.’

‘Well we’ll soon change that and you’d better stock up on glad rags.’

I watched for any landmarks that I might remember from the programmes. Maybe I was wrong because lots of places looked similar. Well at least we shared another thing in common our taste in comedy. I wondered if we had the same taste in music and other things. Frankie switched on her car radio and inserted a DVD. The music was relaxing and made me feel very happy.

‘Who is this?’

Mayybe you don’t know him but the song will be familiar. Do you like it? Do you want to borrow it or will you download it later.’

‘Yes I’ll get it on my i-pad. Who is it again?’

‘I didn’t say. It’s a dvd by Leonard Cohen called In My Secret Life.’

I was beginning to panic. Was Frankie giving me another message? First the photo albums then I reminded her of Steph. I felt I might have no choice but to find a way to explain that in fact I was Em’s nephew but I didn’t want things to change between us. I liked being Kimmie and Frankie might get angry and hate me. But she’d helped Steph and accepted him so maybe she’d still like me.

The next song came on that made me shudder and gave me a nice feeling in my tummy. Sort of a fuzzy feeling. Frankie started singing in unison using a deep voice that made me laugh. ‘If you want to take me for a ride – I’m your man.’

‘So you’ve been fooling me then you are really a man. That explains a lot.’
‘No way. I like my life too much to lower my standards. Men have it tough these days anyway. We are taking charge. I’m a new woman. I told you I’m an Alpha Female who knows what she likes and knows what she wants and how to get it. I don’t usually fail.’

‘Really is this an exclusive club you are in?’

‘No we accept new members, especially young and pretty ones. Are you thinking of applying?’

‘Might do.’

‘Well forgive me but you need some training since you are a bit on the girly side. You need a mentor.’

‘I’ll have to look on Google then when we get back. You don’t happen to know anybody do you who could be interested for no fee?’

‘Might do.’

https://youtu.be/yOnXe8ttmjY

Summer With Em - Chapter 20

By Julie D Cole

I was glad to see that Frankie smiling again and enjoying the music. I had no idea how close we were to Ems but at least Frankie seemed to have recovered from the sadness of visiting the graves of her parents and Steph. She decided to call Em using hands free on her phone so we were on loudspeaker.

They both knew how long it would take before we arrived that wasn’t expected to be long and Em said that her and Bec’s would be on their way down to the coffee shop/café in 30 minutes or so. It was a nice evening so they hoped to find a table outside and suggested we share a dish of nacho’s and a bottle of wine. It sounded good to me even though we’d had lunch and then some tea and cake. At least we could relax and I didn’t need to change. Frankie was up for it as well but since she had to drive home later she sid she could only have one glass of wine. We were all working the next day so none of us were likely to go mad. I needed to take extra care anyway.

I’d caught the sun a little so I was hoping there was an umbrella or the table was in the shade. I ought to have been more careful having shaved my legs and I really ought to have taken some lotion with me. Still I wouldn’t be out in the sunshine much through the week so plenty of time to recover. Frankie noticed me examining them and offered to apply some aftersun if Em had any. I just smiled at the kind offer.

‘Now the weather is warmer you ought to book a spray tan at the centre. You’ve got nice shapely legs and if they were tanned you’d be surprised at the reaction you’d get. You’d knock ‘em dead.’

‘You mean I’d knock Em dead?’

‘No you fool knock them dead. It’s just a saying.’

‘Really?’

‘OK funny girl you got me.’

I found myself giggling at my silly joke and Frankie responded by laughing at me. ‘You do like to smile a lot Kimmie. You are like a breath of fresh air. Steph was a bit more serious and some days she was really down. I wish she’d not been so stupid. I could have helped her and made her happy I’m sure. Even if she’d had to walk out on her family. She could have lived with me.’

‘Maybe she was being bullied or scared of the reaction of her family. I didn’t….’ I had to stop myself mid-sentence.

‘You didn’t what?’

‘ Oh I just meant to say I don’t have a family, just mum.’

‘What have you got to be scared about even if you did? Anyway what about Em?’

‘Nothing I was just trying to imagine what it must have been to be in Steph’s situation.’

‘Oh so you are a boy then? And you had the cheek to say I was a man.’

I went silent. I didn’t know what to say so I looked out of the car trying to pretend I hadn’t heard her because of traffic noise.

‘So you are then?’

‘I’m what? Sorry I didn’t hear what you said.’

‘I asked if you were a boy.’

‘Why do I have a deep voice like Leonard Cohen?’

‘Not quite but there is something about you. Let me look at your throat.’

‘Why am I croaky or something?’

‘ No I just wanted to see if you had any sign of an Adams Apple.’

‘No I don’t so what next? Do you want me to show you my boobies?’

‘Sorry don’t be offended. It wouldn’t matter anyway. Your secret is safe with me.’

‘What secret?’

‘You’re a flasher who likes to flash her boobies.’

‘Very funny, I suppose I asked for it. OK you’ve got one back.’

Now I was pretty sure that Frankie had guessed. I’d tried my best to fend off her questions but they were very pointed even though it was light hearted. Should I just admit it? It wasn’t like I’d been hiding it or even that I’d arrived at Em’s with the intention of dressing as a girl or had spent much time experimenting at home.

Bec’s had accepted me like this and even agreed that I worked in girl mode. I had taken to it like a duck to water.

‘You’ve gone quiet. I haven’t upset you have I?’

‘No. It’s not like you were being serious is it? I made a joke with you so I have to be able to take a joke back.’

‘Well if you ever want to confide in me about anything, or if you need a friend you know where I am. You do trust me don’t you.’

‘Of course I do. Thanks. I don’t have anybody like you at home and friendships have been in short supply in my life.’

‘Well we are almost here so don’t worry your pretty head. Whatever you tell me is between us. I’m not a gossip monger.’

Once parked in the residents multi-storey car park we headed down in the lift to meet Em and Bec’s in the communal area that was part of the complex. As planned they had a table outside the coffee shop/snack bar and a bottle of wine was being delivered to the table as we hugged and then sat down.

They were both looking a bit disheveled that wasn’t typical of either of them. I sensed Bec’s had been crying since her eyes were red and her make-up smudged. But she smiled and asked if we’d had a good time. I hope they hadn’t been arguing.

At least now with 4 of us together there was a lesser chance of Frankie interrogating me any further. I was almost at the point of admitting that she’d guessed correctly. A part of me wanted her to know but another part of me felt guilty and embarrassed. I knew I was different to other lads at school but now I felt more comfortable.

Here in the North away from home I was being accepted as a girl. I didn’t have any males around me so not much chance of ridicule or hate comments. I’d felt more relaxed and alive since I’d arrived and Em was treating me like the younger sister she’d wanted. Bec’s was kind and Frankie was definitely interested. At least for now.

I was ready for a drink having spent most of the afternoon in the sunshine and as Em had said travelling with the top down in the car with the wind blowing made it seem safe from sunburn and sunstroke. I quickly poured two glasses of iced water from a large jug for Frankie and myself. I downed mine without stopping for breath. It wasn’t very ladylike but my throat was dry. I resisted the second glass that I’d have taken from the cooler at home and mum was always complaining that I drank most of it. No loud belch since I tried to behave properly. Dressing like this was improving my manners.

I was still hot and I felt that I needed to cool my face and neck that was a little sore and freshen up. Moreso I needed to relieve myself since I’d had my legs crossed most of the journey home and not to be more ladylike. I excused myself to go up to the apartment that would allow me to check myself out and get everything properly in place. It seemed to have disappeared somewhere but it wasn’t painful. I needed to check. Frankie decided to join me rather than use the public facilities in the coffee shop.

When I sat to relieve myself let my waters flow I was pleased to see everything was intact although much smaller than normal. My testes were overheated and they welcomed the chance to breath. I was happy to help and I used the bidet running cold water that brought further satisfaction. I wasn’t sure whether or not it was healthy to wear tight panties for so long but so far so good.

Frankie used the guest bathroom whilst I used the en-suite adjoining Em’s room. It looked like they’d left in a hurry with make-up, deodorant and perfume sprays strewn about. Most unusual for Em the bed was disturbed and she was normally very disciplined leaving it made-up as neatly as a hospital bed.

As we were ready to go back downstairs Frankie stopped me and pointed to my cheek saying I had a mark on it asking if it was mascara. I’d not touched my eyes since Em helped me earlier that day but Frankie leaned forward as I looked in my bag for a mirror.

As I looked up she was close enough for me to feel her breath and smell her perfume and then our lips touched and she pulled me close. It wasn’t a long embrace but I was in no doubt that Frankie was still interested in me whether or not I was male or female. Unless it was another test and she was checking for light stubble on my chin.

‘Thanks for today. I hope we can meet up again this week and go for another drive.’

‘Thanks that would be nice but I need to check what shifts I’m going to be working if that’s OK.’

‘Sure I’ll fit around you. I can always arrange free time and let one of the guys cover for me.’

Em had ordered the nacho’s that soon arrived after we’d settled back in our seats. We gave them a rundown on our trip and it seemed both Em and Bec’s had known all about Steph and met her several times. No wonder they were comfortable for me to meet Frankie and it made me think it was a deliberate set up. It seemed a bit far-fetched but was I a substitute or part of a healing process.

I doubted Em would do that. Frankie had treated him/her like a younger sister and I don’t know how the shock of her suicide had affected her at the time. She seemed a strong enough person to handle most things but I’d absolutely no experience. I understood that she was devastated when she found out what had happened and she’d blamed herself for encouraging him to let Steph come out.

We all tried to keep the chat as light hearted as possible but as we finished our coffees Bec’s suddenly burst into tears. Once she recovered her composure she announced that she was splitting with her husband and they’d not been sleeping together for a few weeks.

Earlier in the afternoon she had been home to collect a few things and intended staying a few nights with Em and I. She said that she was giving her husband chance to collect some things and move out. She didn’t seem bothered about where he went.

It was a shock but Frankie and I didn’t pry. Based upon a few comments that were made I concluded that he was gay and he was no longer interested in nocturnal events so they had grown apart. Frankie whispered to me that if Em and Bec’s needed some quiet time together I was welcome to bunk down with her. I nodded but in truth I knew it was dangerous. I was beginning to really like Frankie but was she offering a spare bed like I had with Em or did she mean to share her bed?

What a summer this was turning out to be and we were barely in June.

Summer With Em - Chapter 21

By Julie D Cole

Our dinner snack was uneventful with fairly meaningless chatter most of the time to allow Bec’s to calm down without any need for further explanation. She was clearly Em’s girlfriend and my boss at the same time. Right now she seemed vulnerable rather than the assured and confident Manager who had interviewed me.

Frankie kept the conversation light and I did my best to switch subjects if anything was in danger of raising suspicion about my real gender. I was scared to admit to myself that I felt more comfortable like this because I knew I’d have to go back to being the boy who lived in London at the end of the summer and finish my education like that. My college and the students were unlikely to accept the new girl. All I could think of was complications if I even tried.

At least here I felt I could be Kimmie and work and play like this and enjoy every moment. As long as I didn’t get too attached to Frankie or anybody else and I lived within my budget. There was so much I wanted to do based on my experience so far since arriving. I tried to avoid the beautiful blue eyes and the deliberate eye contact glances coming from Frankie but it was so hard. She touched my hand from time to time to ensure that I looked at her and finally held on. Em noticed but just smiled.

I felt comfortable and relaxed and my nervousness subsided as the conversations and chatter increased back to normal levels. Bec’s seemed to recover herself and talked about some of the tasks she might give me as I settled in to my job and said that I had to be prepared to cover for ‘the other girls’ when things switched around or got changed as shift patterns changed.

Frankie chipped in ‘As long as she isn’t every body’s dogs body especially the guys. Remember she is an equal and she ought to be given some sort of training programme with chance of a certificate and credits that she can use when she’s in the job market.’

‘Yes I’ve already discussed that so it’s up to you Kim to make the best chance of this opportunity.’

‘Thanks Bec’s and thanks to each of you for being so nice to me.’

Em suggested I go call mum on either Skype or WhatsApp since she’d love to know that I had settled in OK and what I’d been up to. It was a great idea but I needed the privacy of my room to remove my make-up and cover my breasts with something more appropriate for her son.

Frankie took that as a signal to leave and offered to settle the bill before she left. She’d already been more than generous but she flatly refused any contributions. I’d not spent anything all day but she was most insistent. I walked with her to the lift to the car park and thanked her for a wonderful time. She pressed the button to the lift and at that moment it was just like she’d pressed my button. We just kissed.

The doors opened and she turned and smiled ‘Later My Love, call me later after you’ve spoken to your mum.’

I walked slowly back to the table to join Em and Bec’s who had ordered a brandy as a nightcap to calm Bec’s I suppose. I opted to stick to water after a day out in the sunshine.

Before long the two of them were showing no more signs of sadness or the stress that Bec’s had endured and there were even bouts of giggling. We chatted about my afternoon trip to Darley Dale and it was an opportunity for me to ask more about the relationship between Frankie and Steph. I learned that Frankie had freaked out when she’d received a text message of goodbye from Steph and frantically tried to make contact but Steph’s phone was switched off. She didn’t have any home telephone number so she’d jumped in the car and headed to the farm as fast as she could. She was pulled over by the police en-route for speeding and they then escorted her at high speed the rest of the way.

They were too late and it Steph’s father had already found the body and cut him/her loose. The mother was screaming and beating Steph’s father who she blamed for pushing Steph to the limit and dismissing his attempts to explain that he was born in the wrong body. One of the policemen held Frankie back whilst the other tried to breathe life into Steph. There was no chance and by the time an ambulance arrived it was just a formality.

There was an inquest that recorded the death by misadventure followed by the funeral a week later. Frankie was so angry she wanted to buy a shotgun to blow of the fathers head and it took weeks for her to recover her composure and get back to some sort of routine again. Her hatred for men went up several notches.

Somehow the death was kept low profile in the area and in the local rag or on local news. For 3 months Frankie was driving up to the farm intent on confronting Stephs dad and doing him some damage until she had a warning from the police.

I asked if Frankie and Steph had an intimate relationship because there was quite an age gap and Steph considered himself transgender. Frankie had helped him through his transition and admitted that they’d been intimate without any likliehood of penetration. Frankie had often boasted that no man would ever penetrate her and she preferred to take the initiative and adopt the lead role. She’d had several casual relationships before Steph appeared on the scene but all were women and none lasted long.

Finally I plucked up the courage. ‘Does she know about me?’

Em responded ‘We’ve never said anything and she hasn’t asked us anyway. Why would she?’

‘Have you set this up Em? Please tell me. I didn’t arrive like this and I fear she might have guessed. She was talking about looking at your photo albums because she didn’t recall mum having a daughter.’

‘She’s not stupid but also I think you can be open with her if the situation arises again. She likes you a lot.’

‘Yes but she’s offered me the chance to stay with her to give you two some space. How can I. I’m a boy and I’m just having fun. I’m not transgender.’

‘Really?’

‘No I’m not I’m just enjoying myself dressing like this for a while. I only let you two and your friends see me like this because you don’t judge me. If I went to college like this I’d be beaten up.’

‘Look just go with the flow and take your time. Around here in Manchester you’re not considered a freak or out of the ordinary. You’ll meet lots of people who dress and behave as they like even down at the sports centre.’

‘but I’ve not seen anybody.’

‘How do you know? Some of the girls who attend yoga class were born boys. Two of the body-builders were born women.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

I looked at my watch because I wanted to call mum before it got too late. My mind was all over the place. I turned back as I left to go upstairs to the apartment. ‘Does mum know?’

‘Why don’t you ask her. If it makes you feel better of course. ’

‘But she’ll go crazy if she thinks I’ve been dressed like this and especially in public.’

‘She’s seen you before in school plays.’

‘Yes but I had no choice I was picked out and told to do it.’

‘Yes but you were a natural. Sis couldn’t wait to call me and tell me.’

‘That’s just it I never lived it down at school. I was bullied a lot after that and my friends were scared to hang around with me so dropped me. I made the mistake of complaing and matters just got worse.’

‘Well you’ve left all that behind. You’re an adult now.’

It gave me little choice and I thought sooner the better to get it over and done with. It took a few minutes of chat before I plucked up the courage to tell mum that I wanted to show her something and to switch to video mode on her phone. She looked nice and she’d had her hair styled so I complemented her.

Then she asked if something was troubling me and why I was just in call mode. Eventually I told her I’d been experimenting with my look so I blended in.

‘Kim you look nice. Is that really you? Are you wearing make-up? Let me have a closer look please.’

‘Yes mum. I have been playing around with Aunt Em who offered to dress me up and make-up my face. She said I’d look nice as a girl. I liked how I looked. It made me feel better.’

‘Come on don’t be shy. Oh you look like Em did when she first stared wearing make-up. She is right you are very pretty. I wish I could see you properly rather than on my phone. Maybe you should do it again sometime and we could Skype so I can see you on my laptop.’

‘Mum please. Doesn’t it worry you? Do you mind.’

‘Why should it worry me? Whatever makes you happy my love. It’s not unusual for men to get in touch with their feminine side.’

‘Yes but I thought you’d be angry.’

‘Kim I’m not angry. You’ve got such a sweet and kind nature. Is it something you like doing?’

‘Well in fact mum I’ve been out and about wearing make-up and I seemed to be completely accepted as a girl. It was weird at first because nobody batted an eyelid.’

‘Kim don’t worry about it sweetheart. As long as you were with Em and she was watching out for you. I wouldn’t want you to get into bad company or put yourself at risk. I don’t know what it’s like up there. You were safe weren’t you?’

‘Yes mum I was safe and Em was careful not to let me out of her sight. Mum we had such a great time. I met her friends and we went out together.’

‘What dressed as a girl or just wearing make-up.’

‘Dressed as a girl.’

‘Wow a big step. I’ll have to have a chat with Em. Were boys involved?’

‘No mum I wouldn’t have liked that. I wouldn’t have been comfortable. You know what it was like at school. Boys either just laugh and take the mickey or they get aggressive and bully you.’

‘So was this today?’

‘No mum it was after I first arrived. I went shopping with Em and we met some of her girlfriends. Also her best friend is the person who gave me the job. It was Bec’s. Rebecca Walker. Have you met her?’

‘No I’ve not met her but we have spoken. She’s been good friends with Em for a long time. I think Em was her chief bridesmaid when she got married.’

‘Yes that’s her she is great.’

So she’s employed you and she didn’t mind that you were out dressed as a girl?’

‘No she was impressed and she says it’s ok to dress like this at work.’

‘Wow Kim. Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?’

‘No mum but it feels right and it’s like being a new person.’

‘Oh Kim I’m pleased you are enjoying yourself up there. I was really worried about you here at home. You locked yourself away and you seemed so unhappy and I feared you were spiraling downwards into depression.’

‘Well I was getting pretty desperate. I have no friends at home and things didn’t feel right. It’s like a like has been switched on. Maybe being here where nobody knows me I can do things without the risk of bumping into bullies or stupid people who picked on me.’

‘Kim I’m so relieved. I really feared you might do something stupid one day the way things were going. It was Em’s idea to send you to her so she could get to know you and let you meet others without risk of being attacked. I owe her big time.’

‘Yes mum but I’ve so much I want to tell you. So much as happened in such a short time.’

‘All in good time dear there is no rush. I can hardly wait to see you. I’m going to try to visit for a couple of days if I can arrange it. I’d love to catch up with Em as well. Would you like that sweetheart?’

‘I guess so mum. But prepare yourself for a shock. Or even two or three.’

‘How so?’

‘Mum I’ve got boobs. They’ve appeared from nowhere and Em took me to be fitted for a bra. Mum I’m almost the same size as Em. What’s wrong with me?’

‘Nothings wrong Kim. Your father had boobies it must be generic. Do they hurt? Have you seen a doctor to check them out.’

‘No mum I’m nly just getting used to them sticking out and being part of me. Mum they are a bit sensitive. It’s nice and they feel natural. I couldn’t face anybody at home if they saw them. I’d have to hide them or I’d be dead meat.’

‘Oh Kim I’m coming up sooner rather than later. Promise you won’t do anything stupid. I’ll come this week.’

‘No need mum I’m happy so just check with Em if you like. She has some great friends. They’ve been really nice. Mum one girl is really nice. I’ve been out with her today. She has been so kind. I like her a lot.’

‘Kim is that really you. Things are going so fast so I’m relieved. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight I’m so excited for you.’

‘Mum I’ve never been happier. I didn’t ever dare dream there would be someone out there who I would like and get to know’

‘Kim does she know who you really are?’

‘Well I haven’t told her and it bothers me. Em says she hasn’t told her.’

‘Kim be careful she might not like you to be secretive. Is it platonic?’

‘No mum it’s more than that and I think she might have guessed. I’m going to have to tell her soon but I just felt you needed to know everything first and to ensure you were Ok about it.’

‘Kim I’d much rather have a happy daughter than a son who locks himself away and ends up doing something stupid.’

‘Thanks so much and I’m so sorry.’

‘Oh Kim there is nothing for you to be sorry about. I love you so much and I’m so glad you’ve found some peace. I want you to enjoy life and do the things we all get chance to do.’

‘Mum. Mum’

‘Are you crying?’

‘Yes it not what boys do is it.’

‘Kim you cry tears of joy and promise me one thing please.’

‘Yes Anything mum.’

‘Just clean off that make-up because it’s streaking. You need to use waterproof mascara if we are going to chat like this more often.’

That was such a relief. Mum made all the feelings of guilt disappear. I should have rung her earlier.

Summer With Em - Chapter 22

By Julie D Cole

As I swiped the screen on my phone to end the call it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was like I was being given a complete free reign to stay as I was and continue to explore this other side of me. Nobody so far had seemed to be critical or embarrassed. Only me I suppose.

I felt like I wanted to go to the balcony and scream or better still to go back downstairs and run around the quadrangle jumping with joy and shouting ‘Yes…Yes….Yes’ pumping the air like a crazy football supporter whose team had just scored a vital goal.

I wondered what dad would have made of this were he still around. But so what for now at least ‘C’est la Vie.’

Then I heard the door open as Em and Bec’s returned arm in arm. They didn’t separate even though I was there and they sat together on the sofa and asked how my call with mum had gone. I was bubbling with joy and sat on the edge of my chair as I explained how positive and supportive mum had been.

Em stood up letting go of Bec’s and came across to give me a great big hug. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and falling onto her shoulders. Bec’s brought a tissue and joined the hug. It was only a phone call but Em had been right. Both her and mum must surely have colluded.

Bec’s spoke out as we settled back into our seats. ‘Kim let me just say how lucky you are to have so much support from your mum and Em. So many people in your situation aren’t so lucky that leads to all sorts of problems and often there are no winners at all.’

‘But I’m only experimenting Bec’s. It’s not like I want to stay permanently like this. I’m still a boy underneath these clothes and I can never imagine I’d be able to retain these features as I matured. Don’t you think most boys go through this phase as their body develops. I’m just behind most of the guys I know.’

‘Well if I may say you are leaving it a bit late if you are expecting to fill out and to start shaving and all. Most boys start at 14 or so and by your age they are full of testosterone and they are like hairy gorillas.’

‘Do you think I have something wrong with me?’

‘Not necessarily but maybe it’s time to ask the question to a professional. I know a few people but really you need to register with a local GP or see your own if you are going home at all.’

‘I don’t want to.’

Em piped up. ‘What do you mean you don’t want to?’

‘Well maybe at the end of the summer but can’t I just stay like this. I can’t imagine I’d feel comfortable with you all dressed as myself.’

‘Kim maybe this is yourself. We ought to discuss with your mum.’

‘Yes. She wants to come up this week sometime to see me. Do you think that’s OK?’

‘Of course I’m sure it can be arranged.’
‘But you are short of space.’

‘Well for a couple of nights we can find a solution I’m sure.’

‘How about I stay with Frankie since she has offered?’

‘Oh so you’ve soon changed your tune. What’s happened.’

‘Well I’m sure she had no ulterior motif for inviting me. We’ve only just met and she insn’t over Steph yet.’

‘But when you house share there is no privacy. Especially between girlfriends. Are you sure you could maintain the distance and keep your secret. You know how smart she is and she may already have drawn her own conclusions.’

‘Well maybe the best thing is if I come straight with her now mum knows. It’s not like she had an issue with Stephs sexuality.’

‘In all honesty that’s what Bec’s and I would have suggested if you’d asked our advice. I’m sure Frankie will react positively.’

‘I hope so since I really like her. She is so smart and easy to talk to.’

‘What if she were to want to take matters a little further? She isn’t backward in coming forward if a girl takes her eye and she does seem smitten by you.’

‘I don’t know but anyway it may never happen. Mum might not be able to get time off and it may be inconvenient for Frankie.’

‘So when do you intend to come clean? You’ve missed your chance today.’

‘’ I’m not sure. I wondered about meeting her for a coffee or something after work on Tuesday or Wednesday since she wanted to meet. I don’t think I should tell her over the phone tonight.’

‘No I agree you’d be better face to face. So have you thought about getting to work and back. It’s a bus ride or a 20 minute walk.’

‘I was thinking about walking since the weather is nice at the moment. Why?’

‘Well it’s an early start and you have to be there by 7am. Would you like me to drop you off?’

‘It’s not necessary Em thanks. I don’t expect to be chauffeured everywhere and you’ve all been overly kind.’

‘Yes but remember you don’t have the experience of growing up as female and learning to avoid eye contacts or deal with touchy feely men who might rub against you.’

‘Why would they do that? I never did anything like that at home and I travelled public transport a lot.’

‘Yes but I can’t be their all the time to steer you and this will be your first day out there on your own. Then there is work and you might come across some prejudice even though Bec’s has made it clear you are to be treated as one of the girls.’

‘Em please. I’m not expecting any problems and I’m not a freak. I’m really excited to get this chance and I’ve already seen that I’m treated differently and I like it. I can’t believe it when I see myself in a mirror or a shop window. I want to stop and check myself out. I owe this all to you.’

Bec’s chipped in. ‘Em don’t scare her, it’s a safe area with plenty of people about even at 6-30 am. It’s not a difficult route even if she takes the bus that is virtually door to door from the stop downstairs.’

Bec’s reference to me as her and she felt bit strange but I’d have to get used to that I supposed. She wasn’t due to start work at 9am and it wouldn’t be appropriate for her to give me a lift even if we started at the same time. I felt I needed to be careful not to refer to her as Bec’s and I didn’t want colleagues to find out she had all but moved in with Em.

I decided to prepare for work the following day because of the early start and I also needed a shower before bed after being out all day. So I left Em and Bec’s in the lounge to enjoy some private time together. My uniform outfit was already ironed and I packed it in the sports bag that Em loaned me. I decided to travel to work in jeans and a top and to change in the locker room. I had my own storage locker big enough to keep a few things.

I was getting behind schedule since I had to call Frankie before bed so I quickly removed my make-up and showered. I’d already picked up some sun on my arms and legs so I applied some lotion once I was dry. I popped on a short nightdress and dressing gown that Em had gifted me and sat and applied some night cream on my face. I didn’t seem to look any less feminine without make-up and the low cut nightdress meant my boobies were partly exposed. I wasn’t in the least bit embarrassed to look like I did. Neither was I feeling any guilt or worried about being interrupted should Em or Bec’s visit. I intended to make myself a milky drink to sip whilst I talked with Frankie and a WhatsApp message came through to jolly me up.
Em and Becs were snuggled together on the sofa when I went through to the kitchenette. I offered them a drink but both politely declined. They weren’t quite finished whatever they were doing so I hurried as quickly as I could.

Em reminded me to take my tablets before I went back to my bedroom and I settled into bed to call Frankie. I took a sip before I started and she responded immediately saying ‘Hello Girlfriend how are you.’

We’d only been apart less than 2 hours but nevertheless I answered politely and she insisted on a video call so she could see me. She was also ready for bed since she had an early start although she opted for a deep blue silk pyjama set that suited her. She commented on my boobies and I felt myself blushing with embarrassment.

‘Did you call your mum yet t let her know you got home safe after being out with a crazy driver today?’

‘Yes I called her but I felt safe with you. I didn’t think you were crazy. Just a bit fast on the open roads. Faster than me anyway but then I only get to drive moms car occasionally. It’s not as powerful as yours.’

‘Maybe I’ll let you have a drive sometime if you like.’
‘Really. I’d like that.’

‘We could do lots of things together if you like whilst you are up here. Maybe you won’t want to go home at the end of the summer if you play your cards right. You never know. ’

‘Mmm maybe we’ll have to see.’

‘Well you’ve no boyfriend or girlfriend to worry about have you?’

‘No nobody would have me.’

‘Poor you. All alone. We’ll have to resolve that. I’m going to be here for you anyway. I hope we can become good friends. I’m not attached and since the loss of Steph I’ve become a bit of a recluse. Luckily Em and Bec’s helped me through the darkest days. I owe them.’

‘You all seem to be good friends.’

‘Yes we are and I like the rest of our group of friends too. As you could see on Friday night we support each other and we like to have a good time. We’ve been friends for quite a while now.’

‘Yes I’ve been lucky to be included. But luckier still today to be spoiled by you. It doesn’t seem right. I’ve been brought up to pay my corner and not take generosity for granted.’

‘Well I was brought up to treat people kindly and be giving, so I have enjoyed treating you and you helped me more than you could know. I needed to go back and face some demons that have troubled me and now I’ve met you I’ve realised that as one door closes another opens.’

‘What do you mean? ‘

‘That’s for another day let’s keep this light please. I want to reflect on our day with a happy feeling inside. I hope we can do it again.’

‘What go back to Darley Dale.?

‘Not necessarily. I meant to spend time with you and to take you places.’

‘Yes I’d like that too but it’s difficult for me. I can’t get too involved with anybody right now. I don’t think you would like me really and I don’t want either of us to get hurt.’

‘Don’t be so negative Kimmie. It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me or anything. Why wouldn’t I like you.’

‘Well I’d rather discuss this face to face if you don’t mind. Not over the phone. I need time to think. Everything is moving so fast since I arrived in Manchester. Will you forgive me? ’

‘Nothing to forgive. Do you mean for being negative or keeping me at a distance? I’m not going to give up on you. Whatever is troubling you can be worked out I’m sure.’

‘Thanks but for now I’m scared.’

‘Scared of falling in love.’

‘Perhaps or scared of the consequences of my selfishness.’

‘Well until you tell me more I can’t understand your concerns. How about we meet Tuesday evening and I’ll take you to dinner somewhere quiet?’

OK that would be nice. Shall we talk tomorrow. I’d like an early night so I’m fresh tomorrow for work.’

‘No problem Kimmie. Sleep well and relax.’

‘Thnks Frankie for being so understanding. Night.’

Summer With Em - Chapter 23

By JulieDCole

I barely had the chance to sip my milky drink but I didn’t need it. I slipped under my sheets and hugged the spare pillow feeling very relaxed and found that I couldn’t get Frankie out of my mind. In her company I felt she had complete control of our budding relationship and when she’d kissed me I didn’t want her to stop.

I must have fallen quickly into a deep sleep because the next thing I knew my phone alarm was bleeping. The sheets were barely disturbed after I slipped out so re-making my bed was a doddle. I put on a shower cap and showered using a scented soap and wrapped myself in a large fluffy towel dabbing myself dry and applying body cream. My legs were looking tanned and I thought I’d better take care not to go mad so I had white marks.

I selected a white bra and a pair of Sloggi knickers to hold me nice and compact then sat on my bed and brushed out my hair. I was relieved that I had taken Em’s advice and worn a cap in the sunshine that might have dried it out and it was looking in good condition and the longer style suited the shape of my face far more than a boy cut. I tied it back so that I could apply some face cleansing cream and then I popped on a dressing gown whilst I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and a slice of brown toast.

No sign of life since it was early. The gown gaped open a bit at the front and I definitely now had enough bust for it to be prominent so I adjusted the tie around my waist. I felt completely relaxed.

As I tip-toed back to my room I felt a tingling sensation in my nipples that seemed to have happened more and more frequently this last few days. I stopped at the hall mirror and removed my bra to examine them in case it was an infection or if I was allergic to the silken materials I’d been wearing. I knew that I had sensitive skin and reacted to some washing agents but I’d taken care to hand wash the underwear and night clothes since I’d started using them.

Both nipples were a deep cherry red and much larger than I remembered. They seemed to respond to the gentle touch of my fingers so I cupped each breast in turn to try to sooth them. I could understand why women took great care of them and why they were so appealing to men. But they weren’t supposed to be there.

They were now a lot more developed compared to when I’d left home with plenty of shape so Em was right to encourage me to wear a bra until I understood what was happening. It had been bad enough hiding them at school but now seemed impossible. I certainly had developed enough to check them out with a GP. I did recall being held from behind one day by a school bully whilst another pupil lifted my t-shirt and groped me. Luckily I stamped hard on his foot so he let go then raised my knee sharply to ensure the other guy had something else to fondle.

I had to get some advice and treatment before things got out of hand. Normally I would have laughed at that but it wasn’t funny. I would wait for mum to arrive later in the week and discuss with her. Maybe it was the local water in Manchester that contained something that enhanced breasts. I’d noticed was much softer than water down in London but it didn’t seem to be unsafe to drink. Frankie and I had passed the local reservoirs on the way to Derbyshire so most fresh water ought to be pure. Much nicer than at home. I’d no idea where London got it’s water from. Surely not from the river Thames but probably waste water re-treated. I shuddered so no wonder mum drinks bottled water.

I made a point to check on-line later to look for a local GP practice who might be taking patients. I knew that it should be easier around Manchester than in London where most seemed busy these days. However I wasn’t very optimistic that I’d find one on the doorstep. I had a quick look on my i-phone whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. I was surprised to see that there was a practice just outside our compound with some capacity for new patients. It had two female GP’s and only one male one that might be a bit awkward but needs must. Since they were taking new patients and I decided not to hesitate and make contact by e-mail before I left for work. Maybe seeing a female GP would be better since I was now a lot more comfortable around women than men.

I looked at my bedside clock. I felt nervous about going into work as a young woman when I’d already presented as a young man. Colleagues probably assumed I was gay and at least I’d been welcomed so what the heck I had Bec’s support so that was the key factor.

It took me a good 45 minutes to dress and apply some make-up and I kept it as light as possible. I had several attempts and finally I ran out of time but I looked OK. I wished I’d decided to let Em help or found myself a good make-up artist to give me lessons and ensure I didn’t go over the top. I supposed it was better to look more natural anyway but there must be a trick to it. There was chance to pop into the Spa and have a chat with the girls during my break. They seemed nice enough and might have some free time. I decided to ask and hoped I I didn’t scare them away.

I took a deep intake of breath as I left the apartment. I did hear some signs of movement in Ems bedroom. Probably Bec’s getting ready to make tea and I was relieved to leave before she appeared since I had to respect her position as the boss of the fitness centre and not let people see that she was a friend having a relationship with Em.

I decided to walk rather than take the local bus from the compound since it was a clear blue sky morning again and it was still early and I had plenty of time. I love the summer months with long hours of daylight. The walk and the fresh air would do me good and it was a chance to identify some key landmarks so that I got an idea of which direction I was walking. This part of Manchester had been re-developed with some tall buildings.

I’d left my hair down to blow in the light breeze and let it dry fully. I’d brought some scrunchies in my bag so I planned on pulling it up into a pony tail when I arrived at work as Em had shown me.

This was my first time out alone since I’d arrived in Manchester and because I was dressed in such a feminine way I was much more nervous than I expected with butterflies in my stomach. It was as if every passer-by stared and looked me up and down so I tried my best to avoid all eye contact looking to my feet. Luckily the further I walked the more confident I became. I glanced in the occasional shop or office window and that also increased my confidence since I couldn’t see any sign of the boy who’d left home.

I soon realized that almost everybody was too busy rushing to work to take much notice of me and there were plenty of young women of my age walking in pairs or alone that gave me confidence. I doubted that happened much at home and certainly I’d never noticed anyway since I was rarely out of bed at this time on a morning. Life seemed different here in the North.

I had time to call at a Starbucks for a Cappuccino to go and I purchased my own coffee cup that I decided I’d carry around and use on future occasions and at work. Em and Bec’s were big into the environment and re-cycling that I’d never bothered about at home. It seemed that women cared much more than men and most guys I’d gone to school with discarded empty cans and food containers anywhere with the attitude they were keeping people in jobs. Somehow I didn’t feel I fitted with these creeps as far back as I could remember.

Whilst I was waiting for my cup to be cleaned and filled I noticed a small group of men sitting at a table eating breakfast buns and staring at women who entered and they were eyeing me up and down as well that made me feel embarrassed. It didn’t help when my name was called out to let me know my drink was ready since they obviously heard it and one then tried to catch my attention calling my name as I left the shop. As I turned towards them a female customer stepped between us and said something to them much to my relief. She came over and said not to let it upset me since they were harmless and she’d walk with me if I was upset. I thanked her and declined.

I supposed Starbucks was a regular stop for lots of early workers to avoid getting caught in the rush hour and for some it was breakfast on the go. These looked like university students on there way home from a night out rather than going to lectures. I’d have to take care not to send the wrong signals if I came across these guys again. Hopefully it was a one off.

When I arrived at the Health Centre it wasn’t open to the public so I went to the side door and buzzed where the night security guard opened it. He didn’t recognize me dressed as I was nor my identification tag perched between my two mounds. He seemed puzzled and asked to look more closely. I’d never given it a thought since I didn’t much look like the image on the tag. Fortunately my shift supervisor Helen was close at hand to confirm I was the same employee in the photo. He scratched his head and reluctantly let me enter.

Helen took me aside and told me that she’d been asked to take a photo and make a replacement security name card. Of course the photo on the tag had been scanned using the passport size one I’d submitted with my CV. She’d had a call from Bec’s the day before whilst I was out with Frankie..

My existing card still worked through the entrance turnstiles to the reception area and office and Helen asked if I had my uniform in the bag and showed me to the staff changing rooms pointing to the female side. I froze on the spot that Helen noticed so she gently pushed me forward through the door.

‘Nothing to be scared of at this time in the morning Kim we are all here already. There is a cubicle to change in for those who are shy but most of the staff don’t have a problem’

‘But Helen can I ask? Has Bec’s said anything to you about me?’

‘Yes of course she has she is my boss and she hired you. She spoke in confidence so don’t worry. I learned never to pre-judge people and treat them as I’d like to be treated. Whatever is in the past for you is your business. I can’t see you causing any problems here you seem very capable and balanced whatever you have been going through.’

‘But I haven’t been going through anything. I have always been a loner and I don’t have many friends. I guess being so quiet meant I was bullied a bit but aren’t we all? ‘

‘Look Kim there is a lot of jealousy at school between girls but bullying never existed in my day. It was a boy thing.’

It seemed that Helen wasn’t fully understanding what I was trying to say and perhaps Bec’s hadn’t told her everything after all. I wondered if she thought I’d been in some sort of lesbian relationship or that I liked to dress in a masculine way at home.

‘ Helen I don’t live like this at home. I don’t have any brothers or sisters to influence me so staying with my cousin Em who is not much older has been wonderful. She is the sister I never had and it’s different here in Manchester.’

‘So you are telling me she changed your style to show your assets?’

‘I suppose so but I dress as a boy at home. I am a boy. ’

‘Look face up to it Kim boys don’t grow breasts and they aren’t slender and pretty. They have hair all over the place and have deep voices and an Adams Apple.’

‘But Helen you are mistaken.’

‘Really. So you’ll be telling me you have swallowed your Adams Apple next and that you have a penis.’

‘But I have.’

‘Look you can’t swallow your Adams Apple.’

‘No I know I can’t’

‘Well come on get moving and stop being so sensitive. Bec’s is the boss here and she does her assessments of all employees and she will have checked you out. If you like dressing as a boy sometimes who am I to judge? Lots of women do, especially young women.’

‘But I don’t it’s just that’

‘Look Kim we have lots of customers here who are fitness fanatics who like to show their masculine side. But they know how to behave themselves. So what you choose to do in your private life or at home is your business. Are you telling me that you are gay?’

‘No Helen I’m not gay.’

‘Well even if you were you needn’t worry since it’s nothing new in Manchester or here for that matter.’

She totally wasn’t understanding me and she wasn’t letting me get much of a word in. Before I knew it we were entering the female staff changing area where I was presented with my locker and shown the discreet shower area and the dressing cubicles for those who prefer privacy.

It was all confusing but at least the privacy for changing made me feel better but only the problem of taking a shower if I was to go through with this. I needed to explain to Bec’s when I got the chance. I could cause a problem if anybody found out who I really was.’

At least I had the comfort of Helen explaining that it was unlikely that there would be more than 2 other staff members getting changed at any time. Not many nneded to shower and change since they arrived in sports gear and preferred to shower and change at home. Mainly it was the swimming instructors who needed to get out of wet gear.

She left me to change and said to meet her back at reception. I ducked into a cubicle and changed as quickly as possible whilst no one else was around.

Five minute later I was back out with my bag secured in my allocated locker. Two other girls had arrived and I was introduced and we were ready to be briefed and allocated our morning duties. My first session was on the reception answering calls from members booking fitness sessions and dealing with guests and visitors as they arrived. I’d already had my training but this was me on my own. It was a non-stop job with no time to relax. Helen was in the office if needed.

We opened the doors at 6-30am and there was a queue waiting. Most were males but a few ladies started to arrive. They tended to be already changed into training gear for the gym whereas the men seemed more men carried sports bags with either gym gear or swimming shorts. The first Yoga class was at 7 am so there was a sudden influx of ladies and by that time the phones were ringing non-stop to book classes 6 days in advance. Helen came to help me out for a while.

She whispered that I was receiving a lot of admiring glances from most of the male members as they passed behind our reception or stopped to collect towels. She kept winking at me as the fittest ones entered and made it clear which ones she fancied. By the time of my break I’d entered into the spirit of her game and got my own back by teasing her and making her look up to the stares from a couple of older admirers

Summer With Em - Chapter 24

By JulieDCole

My break was a chance to sit quiet in the coffee shop and calm down after a hectic three hours which seems to be the busiest part of the day on reception duty. The good thing was that we were allowed free drinks and a snack so I opted for a green tea and a breakfast cereal. I had already gotten used to Special K that Em introduce me to that she said helped keep her figure in shape. I just liked the taste.

I wasn’t sure about the green tea but most of the girls said they drank it all the time to clean out their systems. It had a bitter taste but it was ok. I did wonder if it might affect the colour of my pee that I already checked regularly as taught by my mother to ensure my kidneys were healthy.

Her advice was to drink a gallon of water a day that I did at home from the tap. With Em I was using a water filter supposedly to purify water that is already purified but it was much softer than at home so how could that be? It made me think. Perhaps the water at home had something added that made the water hard and was that the reason my boobs had developed. But if anything the growth had not stopped and I looked down to confirm it. I could feel my bra was much fuller than in the shop where I’d been measured.

I decided that I should drink more bottled water rather than the filtered tap water to see if the growth stopped or could be reversed. I didn’t like the thought of having to use strapping or tight vests to flatten them when I returned home and to college.
The green tea was making me thirsty if anything and it had a bitter taste that didn’t go too well with breakfast cereal. I would have preferred a coffee or an English Breakfast tea from Ceylon.

I took a bottle of water that was also free to freshen my mouth and quench my thirst and returned to my duties on reception. I saw that Bec’s had arrived and that she was in the office with Helen with the door closed for privacy. Vicki who had taken over from me said they’d been locked in for a good ten minutes and she was asked not to disturb them and pass on the message to any of us looking for either of them. I didn’t really take much notice since I was soon back answering the phone and booking classes for members.

About ten minutes later Helen stuck her head out and asked me to pop in for a few minutes and asked Vicky to cover for me. We looked at each other. Was I in trouble? Had somebody complained about me arriving to work dressed like this and being given access to the female changing areas? Was I going to lose my job?

I felt nervous as I sat down beside Helen and I took care to respect Bec’s as the Manager and not as the girlfriend of Em and a new flatmate.

‘Kim we have been looking at your application form and your CV. You haven’t been very truthful have you?’

‘I’m not sure what you mean. I thought you knew my background and I’ve only followed advice since I was given the job.’

‘No I didn’t mean the way you dress I meant your qualifications.’

‘Yes I gave you a list of my subjects and the grades I achieved.’

‘ Yes but according to your cousin Emily you missed one item of importance here.’

‘I’m sorry I don’t recall missing anything. Please tell me if I made a mistake and I’ll change if that’s what you want.’

‘ Not so drastic for you to worry about it. What I mean is that you have several swimming badges and more important you are a qualified Lifeguard. Is that true?’

‘Yes I swam in competitions but that was ages ago and I didn’t think it was important. I didn’t like it because I was having to train every day early in the morning.I also got bullied about it at school.’

‘The swimming is important but I’m more interested in your life saving badges. We have a number of qualified lifeguards because we have to be in attendance at the poolside full time. We have a rota to share it around with two or three full time. Some just do back up during their statutory breaks. Sometimes the fitness coaches or reception staff cover the breaks.’

‘Yes I’ve noticed but how does that affect me?’

‘If you are qualified you could be on the rota as cover that would help us a lot. We always have difficulty finding people through the summer holiday season and the pool gets very busy through school vacation periods.’

‘ Well I haven’t been swimming for a couple of years or so. It’s at least three years since I got my life saving badge.’

‘Well Helen and I have just discussed this and we want you to bring a copy of your certificate in for our files. As it happens there is a life-saving class and a test later today. We’ve arranged two or three of our staff to attend. It’s in the pool at 3pm this afternoon. I’d like you to attend and be assessed.’

‘But I can’t I don’t have any gear and it would be awkward.’

‘Think again please we need extra cover and if it works out and you are on the rota it means an extra £5 per day to your wages. You can use the pool as well in your free time.’

‘ But I left my swimming things at home in London.’

‘Don’t worry we can supply you with a costume and a top and shorts like the ones the lifeguards wear. You are ok aren’t you? I want you to attend.’

‘Are you insisting?’

‘No it’s up to you but I’d be grateful if you said yes. It helps Helen with her staffing plans through the holiday period.’

‘OK I will. But I hope that I don’t let you down.’

‘Off you go then and Helen will sort you out for some kit. Let’s see how good you are.’

The swim suit was black and Helen suggested a medium size but the legs were a bit too high cut in the leg for my liking. It was a good job Em had persuaded me to shave my legs. However when I tried it on it it didn’t exactly hold me as tight as I would have liked. Helen commented and suggested I might like to consider a Brazilian wax in the salon some time. I panicked a bit since no way was I going to let anybody pour hot wax around my bits. I rang Em and she came up with a solution. She suggested I popped out during my lunch break and purchase a G string. She did giggle a bit however.

I changed in the staff changing rooms later putting my costume under my day gear. At least I had privacy. The G string was tight but it did work.

We assembled at the side of the pool that had been sectioned off for us and the instructor arrived with his gear and his assistant. He was a bit of a hunk and clearly was a bit of a show off and a womaniser. I was aware of him staring at my breasts that seemed more prominent than ever in the swimsuit. I didn’t know what I’d do if the doctor found a solution when I got to meet him. I remember thinking if it was the water in the Manchester area I was about to dive into a pool full and no way could I avoid swallowing some especially when I’d be jumping in in pyjamas for one of the tests.

All went well until there was a sudden cry of panic from the duty lifeguard. Somebody was struggling in the water and had sunk to the bottom. I just dived in without thinking about it and swam down to bring the guy to the surface. We lifted him out and laid him It looked like he’d had a heart failure.

I helped clear his lungs and carry out CPR as I’d been trained to do. I just seemed to do it instinctively so luckily he was breathing by the time the ambulance arrived. He seemed like he was now in good hands so the session was closed and we dispersed and headed to get dried and changed.

The whole leisure centre seemed to know about it by the time I returned to reception and the guy was a long standing member that everybody seemed to know. His wife had been in a ‘bums and tums’ class upstairs and had rushed off to hospital with him.

Bec’s called me to her office to check that I was ok and arranged for some hot tea since I was in a bit of state of shock. It was my first time. I’d only practiced on dummies.

We completed an incident report that Bec’s needed to record in the Accident Book and then Bec’s suggested she ran me back to the apartment rather than expecting me to go back to work. I appreciated the offer since I felt quite shaken. It was my first encounter with someone facing death and somehow we had managed to revive him and hand him over to the ambulance crew.

I didn’t feel like doing anything or talking to anyone that evening although Em came and sat with me in my room and we chatted for quite a while. As far as I was concerned I wanted to forget what had happened. All I could see was the pained expression on the terrified face of an elderly man at the bottom of the pool closing his eyes and giving in.

I had promised to call Frankie but I didn’t have the strength or energy to hold a conversation, certainly not risk chatting about our days. She sent me a text but I just said I wasn’t feeling well and had taken a sleeping pill which in fact was true.

At least I had a restful night and I came around fairly quickly when my alarm went off. Another early start and looking out of my window it was another blue sky day outside so I decided to walk again. It seemed to be a myth that it was always raining in Manchester.

I left before Em and Bec’s surfaced from their bedroom since I wanted to avoid the risk of becoming emotional. I was keen to find out if the medics had saved the mans life because he was somebody’s father and probably grandfather. I didn’t bother with a Starbucks en-route to avoid any risk of early morning customer abuse.

When I arrived at the Health Centre there seemed to be a lot more people waiting for it to open as I headed to the staff door. This time the security guard had no problem letting me in and he greeted me with a handshake because he’d heard about the incident. He had not heard anything about whether or not the guy had recovered but nothing negative either.

When Helen arrived she made a big fuss of me and she had been told he was recovering in intensive care and was expected to pull through. She said that she’d watched in admiration as I calmly took charge and applied CPR. I had no real recollection of events I’d just responded automatically.

By 6-30am when we opened to doors there were several members with sports bags but also several others who turned out to be a male and a female reporter a photographer and a guy with a video camera. They wanted to interview Helen but quickly turned their attention to me when she told them I’d been directly involved in rescuing the member and reviving him. It was so embarrassing for me because I had never liked standing out in the crowd or being singled out for praise right from an early age. I couldn’t even remember what they’d asked and what I’d said by the time they suddenly packed up and rushed off to do something else.

Helen said I should be proud of myself for giving the club some good publicity but mainly for reacting so quickly. She told me these people were from the lcal press, the Manchester Evening News and the local TV and radio station. I was shell-shocked. It was even more embarrassing and I told her that I didn’t want a fuss because I hadn’t done anything special. She calmed me and said she doubted whether it was much of a story just an everyday event. Maybe the club would get a mention in the press or on the local news if they were short of bad news.

But it didn’t stop there. I seemed to become extremely popular throughout the morning with colleagues and members with lots stopping for a chat. The phones never stopped ringing all morning so I didn’t have much time to even take my break. Bec’s had a call from the mans wife expressing her gratitude and also a call from central office praising our efforts.

By lunchtime things had calmed down so I decided to take my break with a walk in the fresh air and buy a sandwich and a coffee to go from Starbucks despite the expense. I saw an empty table in the sunshine so sat a while to people watch.

I felt better by the time I headed back to the leisure centre and all was going well until mid-afternoon when Helen told me the paper had published the story on their web-site along with my photo and my name. The real shock came when she flicked to the BBC website on her i-pad. ‘Transgender Girl saves ex-Mayor George Wilkinson.’

Helen looked me up and down in surprise. ‘Where did this come from?’

‘But they are wrong. I’m not transgender. This is awful. Terrible. Helen please what do I do?’

Summer with Em - Chapter 25

By Julie D Cole

I burst into tears and ran to the nearest bathroom across the entrance foyer. It didn’t matter that it was the female toilet I went into. I was past caring if anybody complained and who cares anyway. I seemed to be more and more emotional these days that coincided with arriving in Manchester.

Luckily there was nobody in the bathroom and I stopped and looked at myself in the large mirror with hardly able to control myself. It seemed a safe space for a while. It wasn’t as if women paraded about half dressed in their bathrooms waving their private parts about like had happened in the male bathrooms at school and college. Crude and disgusting behavior especially if quiet and polite boys like me entered who they viewed as queer. I’d learned to avoid the bully boys and hold on as long as possible to avoid lewd remarks and pushing and shoving.

I wet my fingers and cooled my eyes before entering the first cubicle and sat down with my head in my hands trying to stop the flow of tears.

My adventure in Manchester with Em had to come to an end and it would be best to head home as soon as possible back to the safety of my bedroom. I’d be embarrassed to show my face in the centre from now on and no doubt asked to leave. Which cruel person had thought such a thing never mind tell reporters.

Who knew the whole truth about me apart from Bec’s. I’d let Em talk me into this and mum had seemed OK about it and I’d been enjoying myself experiencing a different life and had been readily accepted. But hitting headlines on the BBC website of all places would cause me all sorts of problems when I returned to college. What would mums friends and colleagues say when news got around that she had a freak as a son?

It was a good ten minutes before I was able to calm right time and I took several deep breaths. My stomach was still churning over and I had a pain between my ribcage and my breasts were aching. I wished I could curl up and hide or even worse disappear forever.

I couldn’t face anybody anymore like this and what will Frankie say if she sees the headlines if I couldn’t get to her first. Even so she would feel I’d led her along and not told her when I’d had the chance. I was a coward. The newspaper was bad enough but at least it had limited circulation. Helen said that my photo and name were on a BBC news website. I had no chance to keep it quiet to choose my moment.

My head was spinning since whatever I did I knew it was disaster. If I returned to my male guise as I’d intended when I got home at the end of the summer I’d be labelled a queer, a tranny, a pervert and everything in between. Even my girlfriends at college might take two steps back. If I decided to carry on dressing like this it would be even more difficult because I’d be an outcast like many others.

I had to face up to the situation and see Bec’s to offer to leave immediately. I wished there was a tunnel directly to her office so I didn’t need to show my face to anybody. Should I stay here until the centre closed or try to climb out of a window even.

I heard someone enter the bathroom and then there was a knock on the door. It was Helens voice. She asked if I was alright and to come out so that she could help.

‘You can’t. Nobody can unless they can turn back the clock two weeks and start over or unless they can beam me home somehow without anybody seeing me.’

‘Come on Kim don’t get so upset. Nobody here is going to make any judgements. Bec’s has already told the few people who matter in confidence. As far as we are all concerned you are one of the girls. None of the guys know.’

‘But they will now. It’s guys who are cruel. I hate them. All of them. They don’t seem to have feelings. I’m not like them. I’ve never felt comfortable as far back as I can remember.’

‘Come on Kim let me see you. I’ll go with you to have a chat with Bec’s and maybe it would be best if I ran you home.’

‘What’s that going to solve? I can’t keep working here now. It would be best if I left altogether. ’

I unlocked the door and she hugged me. Then she helped my tidy up and look presentable. I had Panda bear eyes as my mascara had run but with Helens help most of it was cleaned from my cheeks.

‘Come on Kim it’s not the end of the world. You’re not the first transgender girl we’ve employed and you won’t be the last I assure you.’

‘But I’m not transgender. I just let Em encourage me to try some things on and it got out of hand.’

‘Well Kim to be perfectly honest you act and behave like any of the other girls here and you look so cute. As long as you respect others and don’t encroach on their privacy I can’t see how anybody can object if you are employed as a young woman and dress like one. What’s to be scared of? It’s not like you are doing it for sexual pleasure or to attack anybody is it?’

‘No it’s not like it’s me when I look in the mirror. It’s as if it’s somebody else taken over in my body and I’m lending it.’

‘ Come on this is getting a bit too heavy for me let’s go see Bec’s. My advice is that you ride this out and try to stay calm. Things are rarely as bad as they seem at first.’

She held my hand and led me across reception to Bec’s office. The girls behind the desk tried to avoid looking me in the eye and I looked at my feet so that I didn’t give them chance.

Bec’s was just finishing a call and she beckoned us to sit down. She seemed a bit agitated. Helen closed the door for privacy. As Bec’s turned and put her phone down she said something under her breath loud enough for us to hear ‘Stupid Bitch.’

Helen asked what was wrong.

‘It was the Area Manager, you met her once remember?’

‘What has she said to make you so angry?’

‘She called to say how angry she was about the bad publicity and how I ought to vet staff properly before employing them. Stupid woman.’

‘But you do vet people and send everything to Head Office.’

‘Yes I know but she is so far up her own rear end she can’t hear anything. Anyway to make matters worse she tried to give me her views on morals and behavior of people and what to look for when interviewing staff. She is coming up to officially reprimand me.’

I sat quietly through the exchanges dumfounded. All this trouble because of me.’

Bec’s reached out and took my hand. ‘Don’t worry Kim she went too far this time she’ll be gone by the end of the week just watch.’

‘How?’

‘I recorded the whole conversation and her references to not employing gays, lesbians, transgenders and the like. I said that was her personal opinion not Company policy and that she needed to realise what she was saying was not politically correct. ’

Helen spoke because I was still too upset. ‘So the point that is missed here is that a member of staff probably saved a members life. Is she mad?’

‘You know my views. She is out of her league and just a small minded and self- opinionated woman who gives the organisation a bad name. Anyway I told her that I am bisexual and we are a broad church like most organisations. She accused me of blasphemy and her church has strong views about what’s right and what’s wrong. That’s when I ended the call. I’d had enough.’

I finally had the strength to speak and said to Bec’s that I had decided to leave because I had caused so much offence and embarrassed everybody. To be fair she would have none of it.

‘But I am not transgender. Who told them such a lie.’

‘I asked the staff here and nobody admits to saying anything to reporters. I think they just got your name and maybe the BBC used their powers and connections to check your details with head office and drew their own conclusions. Somebody may have seen my interview notes.’

‘So did you say I was transgender?’

‘No if you recall I interviewed you in boy mode and when I saw you dressed like this I had no problems with how you chose to present and just added that. It’s my decision as long as precautions were taken.’

We chatted a while and I felt better. Bec’s had ful confidence in me and Helen agreed with her. They decided Helen should tke me back to the apartment and return the next day but I should expect some attempts to contact me directly but to stay strong and just say ‘no comment.’

‘I’ll try but I’m not a politician.’

On the way home I tried to call Frankie but her phone was switched off so I left a voice mail to contact me when she could. It was rare for her to be switched off.

I took a shower after Helen dropped me off and made myself a pot of tea checking my i-phone for any more news reports. I was still on the BBC news site but nothing more anywhere else other than the report of the incident. So the guy was an ex-mayor and a prominent figure in the area.

I sent a couple of text messages to Frankie but still no response. I hoped she wasn’t angry with me that would be the final nail. I never intended to hurt anybody.

I opened my i-pad up to get a better view of the information and my photo had been taken at the centre by a photographer. It was a good shot and in normal circumstances I’d have been impressed.

I started my research about the poor guy I’d helped rescue George Wilkinson. He didn’t seem such a nice guy since he’d cause a lot of anger whilst in office. Now I began to understand the significance of the headline.

The Gay Pride marches had started in Manchester back in 1985 after a lot of pressure and George Wilkinson had fought hard to stop them right through until 2003 saying it would bring trouble to the region and attract the wrong sort of people. The fight had continued even after the Manchester Pride Organisation was formed and he was still arguing that all gays should be banned and the Canal Street area closed down over the next 10 years until he eventually resigned from the Council.

I’d saved a man who hated gay people but I wasn’t gay or transgender. Or was I. Now I was confused because I was beginning to feel more comfortable like this and I was a lot more confident in myself.

There was a ding on my i-phone with a message from Frankie. ‘Sorry I have been dealing with an urgent matter. I’m at Manchester General Hospital but I’ll call you when I can.’

Summer With Em - Chapter 26

By Julie D Cole

I understood the message but it stop me trying to call her back. No answer so I sent another text message to say I was worried and asking if she had had an accident.

The more I thought about it that could be the only reason why she couldn’t call or send me a message. Probably the A&E area or the ward had no Wi-fi signal and calls were blocked. I was panicking more by the minute. As if the day wasn’t bad enough.

I tried calling the hospital to see if she had been admitted but then I realised I didn’t even know her family name. Had she told me and I’d forgotten? Had I cared enough to even ask or was I too scared to become her friend and accept her advances towards me?

I called Em and updated her on what had happened with Bec’s and Helen but she already knew. I told her I was in a mess and that I’d wanted to go home but she said to ride it out and they’d help me. Also since mum was coming up and I had a doctors appointment at least give it a week. I agreed of course.
Then I told her my difficulty contacting Frankie and she told me I was panicking that was understandable and to wait and Frankie would respond.

‘But Em I think she might have seen the publicity and who know she might have been angry and crashed her car or something. She drives so fast. I seem to cause too many problems and also I think I am falling in love with her.’

‘Come on Kim be sensible. You’ve only known each other for 5 minutes and she could have been at hospital for anything. It might even be an employee or one of her parents. You can’t just fall in love at the drop of a hat.’

‘I can’t help it I am so confused and emotional these days. She is fun and she has accepted me as I am. I’m sure she knows my real identity and if anything she has encouraged me. But I can’t be sure. She may be angry and decided to avoid me.’

‘Well she does have a temper but if she was angry at you then you can be sure that she’d have also sounded off at me for introducing her to you.’

‘I guess so but I can’t get in touch. I don’t even know her address or anything. I only know her as Frankie. Is that short for Francesca or something?’

‘Yes you guessed right. She never liked Francesca because it was too girly so she insisted on Frankie right from first school. She preferred to hang out with the boys. Her family name is De Marco. Her father is Italian and her mother is English.’

‘That’s a nice name and I like Francesca too. I can see now why she has a nice skin tone and black hair. I wish we’d got Italian blood. No wonder she is feisty.’

‘Yes and you can see she likes designer label clothes and is always immaculate.’
‘So do they live in Manchester? Perhaps they know where she is.’

‘Be patient Kim please. They still live in Buxton but they sold their restaurant business so her father could go back to help with the family business when his father died. Frankie is not interested at all. She can’t even boil an egg. Her father gave up trying to marry her off or coax her to take over his restaurant.’

‘So she is not into boys then.’

‘Not really. She’s had a few close friendships but none lasted long.Don’t hold out any hopes about a relationship, she is a butterfly.’

‘I’m not I just want to be sure she doesn’t think I’ve misled her.I owe her an explanation.’

‘So what are you going to say exactly?’

‘I don’t know I’ll just have to play it by ear.’

‘Well take care and let me know when you’ve spoken to her please. I’ll see you later after work.’

Now I had a name I decided to call the A&E department to ask if there had been anyone called De Marco admitted. I didn’t get much luck over the phone so I decided to try the personal approach and took a taxi ride.

To be fair the staff on duty were helpful and they said nobody called De Marco had been recorded in their accident register. I was about to leave I thought I’d ask about George Wilkinson to see which ward he was in. At least I could check and see if he had recovered or not so I could let Bec’s know.

The duty administrator relented when I told her I was from the leisure centre and luckily I was still in uniform with my name badge. He was in the coronary care ward and out of intensive care that was a relief. Less paperwork for Bec’s who had enough on her plate with the bitch of an Area Manager.

I headed back to the front entrance to find a taxi and luckily there was no queue and one waiting on the rank. I was about to open the door when I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned and in the doorway stood Frankie with her phone in her hand. Mine started ringing..

‘Kim here please I’ve just come down to call you. What are you doing here?’

‘I came looking for you. I was worried that I didn’t get a call or any messages. I came to find out if you’d been involved in an accident or something.’

‘You silly thing. How sweet but I told you I’d call. I’ve been here with my mum. She’s upstairs on the ward. I collected her from home and stayed with her to keep her company.’

‘Has she had an accident? Or has she been taken ill?’

‘No it’s my grandfather, he has been in intensive care. He had a heart failure yesterday and luckily the medics got him back here just in time.’

‘That’s weird a guy had a heart failure whilst swimming at the leisure centre yesterday. He almost drowned but we got him out and revived him before the medics arrived.’

‘Yes it was my grandfather. Somebody called mum so I had to drop everything to rush to her home to get her. We got here as fast as we could and I might have been caught speeding. But the police stopped me and were kind enough to escort me through the traffic for the last part.’

‘Oh I didn’t know your grandfather was still alive. All my grandparents are gone.’

‘To be honest my grandfather fell out with me and disowned me a long time ago. He even wrote me out of his will to try to get me to change. As if I care.’

‘ Oh I’m sorry. It must have been a bad time.’

‘Not really. Only for mum because she tried to be the peacemaker. He’s got other grandchildren who toe his line. I don’t. He expected me to be a sweet little girl and get married young and have 2.4 children like most of the population around here.’

‘But times have changed doesn’t he realise?’

‘Not in his world. He was too used to getting his way and influencing people. He has been a prominent local councilor for years.’

‘Was he a mayor?’

‘Yes how did you know.’

‘I saw something on the news and that’s why I was trying to contact you.’

‘I haven’t seen the news. I don’t take much notice of it since they don’t report true facts anymore. Too much political influence. My grandfather had a lot of contacts in the press and was regularly on local TV. At least I could switch him off.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. So does he know you are here with your mum?’

‘No not unless she told him. I decided to keep a safe distance in case it upset him. I’ve had many an argument with him over gay rights and he doesn’t like my way of life. I say live and let live. If I want a girlfriend or a boyfriend that’s a matter for me. He said I was queer and needed treatment. It was him and his cronies who needed the treatment.‘

‘Sounds like there is no way back.’

‘I won’t let mum down if she needs me but at least my fathers side of the family were more accepting of change. Maybe you’ll meet them one day soon I hope. You’ll like my father. He didn’t get on with mums father either.’

‘It depends if you are still talking to me.’

‘Why? You haven’t done something stupid have you?’

‘No it’s just that there was a photo of me in the news and some lies put out.’

‘Oh well there’s a surprise. I’ve been front page on marches in the past when we were fighting for Gay Pride. Grandad hated it. What’s your crime? You might be escorted to the City boundary. Unfortunately they don’t have public stocks anymore to throw rotting vegetables and sticks and stones.’

‘I was involved in the incident at the centre with your grandfather and somebody made up some lies about me. I was worried you’d see it before I had chance to explain.’

‘What are you crying for come here. What’s wrong?’

‘I can’t take this anymore I wanted to tell you the truth face to face and then leave and go back to London.’

‘What are you running away from? Have you robbed a bank or murdered someone?’

‘No they said I’m transgender.’

‘Wow sensational. It’s a hanging offence. Ring the church bells. Aunclean. Unclean. Come here you fool give me a hug.’

‘But I’m not.’

‘I know you’re not unclean. I won’t catch anything by hugging you will I?’

‘No I need a hug. Especially from you.’

‘You can tell me about it later. Come and meet my mum. If you want you can meet my grandfather but keep your distance because he bites. Then you can come with us whilst I take her home and settle her down. I might stay there tonight if you want to stay over too. There is plenty of room at the Inn so to speak.’

‘OK I’m not going in to work tomorrow but I need a few things. I’m still in my ger from work.’

‘So I see you look quite fit. I like the style.’

‘Are you sure because I haven’t told you the truth yet?’

‘Oh so what’s the problem?’

‘This is not me in this gear. Before I came to Manchester I was never like this. I was a tweeb and nobody even noticed me. I’m not a girl. Underneath I’m a boy.’

‘Really? I think underneath you are a girl. On top you are a girl. When you speak you are a girl. Your eyes give you away. Do you mind there is something in the corner there. Oh it’s a tear.’

We did the best hug ever. Even better than mum gives and Frankie kissed me properly on the lips for the first time. It seemed to last ages even though it was probably seconds and then she took my hand to go to the ward.

Summer With Em Chapter 27

By Julie D Cole

I was nervous because Frankie wanted to introduce me to her mum but I wasn’t comfortable about meeting her grandfather. I didn’t like that he was so prejudiced and had been so outspoken against the gay community in Manchester when the first Pride marches were being planned. In any I didn’t want him to become agitated if he had been told about me since he was just out of intensive care and he was supposed to be recovering.

I tried to explain my concerns to Frankie as we entered the lift but she insisted that she would take care and not to worry and we should carry on. She said that her mum was unlikely to care even if I had two heads since she’d hardly slept and she was still in a spin trying to come to terms with what had happened.

‘Kim you really don’t need to worry and I don’t know what can have upset you because I’ve told you what I think. It’s not important to me how you want to dress and behave. I promise it makes no difference to what I think about you. You sound like any young woman of your age and you look pretty cool whatever you wear. I guess you are not sure because you must have had a hard time at school and at college.’

‘Yes at school it was awful. It’s not as bad as it has been at college because as well as having these boobs and soft skin my voice hasn’t even broken. I tried to talk more deeply so people who don’t know me don’t think I’m a girl dressing as a boy and in fact I lose concentration so my voice goes back to normal.’

‘But you’ve got a lovely London accent unlike up here so maybe it’s the accent people notice. You sound like a news reader sometimes.’

‘Well I do get bullied so I don’t play sports or change in the male dressing rooms. I avoid the male bathrooms as much as possible because I usually get grabbed and punched yet I never do anything wrong. Boys have been know to come up from behind and fondle me. It’s awful.’

‘I don’t suppose anybody would do anything about it. I wish I’d been there with you. These idiots need sorting out before they get to think they are superior to people who are either side of what they believe is the standard male or female.’

We arrived at the security doors leading to the ward and I stopped and said to Frankie that I felt awkward meeting her mother in the current circumstances. I had left Em’s apartment without any thought of checking if I looked presentable and I ought to have got changed.

‘See what I mean? What boy would even think of that so just use the bathroom over there and I’ll wait here.’

It took me a while before I was satisfied that I looked ok and built up the courage to go back to Frankie and when I did her mother was with her. She smiled as Frankie introduced me as her girlfriend and that we had become close friends. I felt her eyes inspecting me but not in a bad way. She was nice and seemed to accept me as Frankies girlfriend and that we were in a lesbian relationship.

She had left her husbands bedside because a publicity woman from Manchester Council was visiting along with his former secretary so after a while she’d left them to it. She said they were did not seem concerned with his health just following up on the publicity in the press and keeping him in the public eye as a believer in older traditions and values. They had organised the local press to interview him and within seconds there was a reporter and a photographer by his bedside.

A doctor and a nurse were also ushered into his room as we talked and then the first responder ambulance crew who had taken over on their arrival to the poolside. Frankie and her mother were called and I ducked back into the bathroom until they’d all gone then headed back downstairs. I wanted to get away.

Frankies grandfather hadn’t recovered fully yet he just wanted publicity. Unbelieveable! I decided to head back to the apartment and contact Frankie later.

Luckily there was a cab on the rank. I didn’t want any part of being around any publicity after what the BBC had posted on their web-site. I didn’t expect the story to be of interest to anybody. They were making assumptions about me with no foundation or even talking to me.

I was lucky that the cab had a female driver so I felt comfortable and less threatened. The driver was chatty as soon as I settled into my seat and after a few minutes I’d told her more than I intended about my reason for visiting the hospital.

She told me that she knew a bit about Frankies grandfather and she made it obvious she didn’t like him. She told me that she was a member of the LGBT community and had undergone gender reassignment surgery and had been a chaffeur in the mayors office so knew him very well. She had been singled out for persecution ever since she came out.

Then when she had become involved in support of Gay Pride she had been sacked. Worse than that she had been arrested and put in a police cell overnight with rough footfall hooligans after she confronted him face to face. They had turned on her and beat her before the police intervened.

It was hard to believe that she had been born a man looking at her from the rear seat and at her eyes in the drivers mirror. She was so pretty and her make up was immaculate and I told her so. She smiled and thanked me and just said he’d done her a favour because after being sacked she had decided to live full time as a woman and her friends had supported her. She did bar work and waitressing in a club in Manchester until she was able to save enough money to have the operation and her job driving a taxi was part time for a friend.

Then she said she recognised me from a conversation she’d had with friends who showed her the web-site photo and the article and that she hoped I was OK. She said I’d done a brave thing but it was a pity it had to be to save the life of the man she most despised. She passed me a card for the club where she worked and told me to visit and look out for her or to call her any time and she’d be sure to be around.

Was she just being nice or making a pass? Did she think I was transgender? I stayed quiet and just smiled politely putting the card in my bag. I would ask Em if she knew the bar and the club. As I got out of the cab she smiled and said the ride was on her and hoped to see me again.

Once upstairs in the apartment I switched my phone back on. I saw I’d had several missed calls from Frankie and a few text messages. I rang her and she picked up immediately.

‘ Thank God. At last, where are you? Why did you suddenly disappear? What got into you?’

‘Sorry I didn’t want to interfere and there were too many people around. I didn’t realise the press were going to be visiting and I thought your grandfather was ill.’

‘Kimmy why didn’t you tell me that it was you who dived in and saved his life?’

‘I never had chance. Who told you that anyway?’

’The ambulance crew you ninny. The saw you in the corridor and they assumed you were there for the publicity like them. Mum was so grateful and wants you to still come with us. Will you because she wants to thank you personally.?’

‘I don’t want any fuss. I just did my best and I’m glad it worked out. I got him out of the water and did what I was trained to do. It was the first time ever.’

‘Kimmy even though my grandfather and I fell out big time he is still my grandfather and I just hope he reflects on what happened and it changes his opinions a bit. He was lucky to survive and he owes his life to you.’

‘I just happened to be there. Others could have done what I did.’

‘Yes but they didn’t. It was you. Can I call and pick you up?’

‘OK I’ll just freshen up and change and put some bits in my overnight bag.’

‘Don’t be long then I’m almost there.’

‘Was your mum listening?’

‘She’s sleeping in the back. I’m driving her car we left hers at my place so there was room for three of us. It’s the first chance she’s had to shut her eyes.’

I removed my work gear and put on some leggings and a top and tidied my hair. I packed some fresh underwear and some night clothes along with my cosmetic bag. I felt better as I headed downstairs but just a little nervous to be staying overnight since I’d be close to Frankie but somehow it excited me.

Frankie jumped out of the car and gave me a big hug. ‘Kim you saved my grandfathers life. How can we every repay you?’

I just got embarrassed and was speechless. ‘Kim I don’t have the greatest relationship with my grandfather but he’s my mums dad. He’s family even though he is bigoted and very prejudiced against the LBGT community. We all can choose friends but unfortunately not family.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. I never really had relationships with my grandparents. I often wish that I had.’

‘Well you’ve missed nothing with him. On the other hnd I’d love to take you to Italy one day to meet my father and his family. His parents are fantastic.’

‘Well I can’t afford anything like that I’m just about breaking even and I will have student loans to repay.’

‘I invited you. I can afford to treat you if you’d come.’

‘Maybe.’

Frankies mum woke up and was so nice to me. She said her father had been sitting up and chatting and soaking up al the attention and was grateful to everybody. Then she said she hadn’t realised her daughter had a new girlfriend and that she was pleased that she was moving on. I wasn’t sure if she was happy that her daughter was a lesbian bt in truth as far as I was aware that wasn’t true.I just hoped I wasn’t being a temporary substitute.

The journey didn’t seem to take long and soon we were pulling into the driveway of an old farmhouse type cottage. It was like a postcard scene. We even had to drive across a small stream to get to the front of the house.

Once inside Frankies mum insisted on preparing something to eat since she’d not eaten for long time. Frankie showed me around the house incluing her bedroom that was always ready for her to stay. I put my bags in the guest room next door and her mums was along the corridor. The windows were quite small and the ceilings quite low. Lucky that none of us were very tall.

As I put my bag down on the bed Frankie took me in her arms and kissed me fully on the lips. It was a shock at first but then I just relaxed. Her hand touched my right breast that seemed to respond instantly so I tried to step back without seeming ungrateful or disrespectful. If my friends at college could see me now I don’t know what I’d have said.

We returned to the kitchen to help Frankies mum prepare the food. Nothing too exotic just some Bolognese sauce she’d prepared earlier and put in the freezer that was quickly de-frosted. We had some anti-pasta as a starter and Frankie opened a bottle of red wine. It went to my head since I wasn’t much of a drinker but luckily we all wanted an early night. We cleared away and Frankies mum went up to bed.

Frankie wanted to talk to me and insisted we relax on the sofa. She’d been told about the article on i-player and the suggestion that I as transgender.

I’d no idea how to respond.

Summer With Em Chapter 28
By Julie D Cole

Whilst I was deliberating Frankie stood up and reached for her i-pad.

She opened the BBC news page and found the article. The photo that they’d taken of me, without my knowledge, was quite complementary. I didn’t look much like a boy or even a boy in drag so I couldn’t understand the reason for the headline. I looked like any of the girls at work who wore leisure centre outfits and we all had to take great care of our appearances.

Since I’d arrived in Manchester I’d seemed to have lost what masculine features I had and was surprised at the changes that had been taking place in such a short time. Wearing a bra and allowing Em to encourage me to wear makeup and re-style my hair meant I now looked my age rather than the 9 stone weakling scared of his own shadow. If anybody from home saw it I doubted they’d believe it was me. At best they might think I was the sister I’d never had. It made me wonder why males never wore make-up if it had such an effect. I looked healthier and conditioners had brought life to my hair.

Maybe the article would die a death soon and people who knew me might be tolerant of me changing my appearance and working as a girl for a while. It was certainly giving me a new outlook and I felt comfortable and a lot more confident. I supposed much depended on any trouble-makers taking the opportunity to make fun or be aggressive especially through social media. I decided it would be sensible to close down my accounts and perhaps start a new Facebook account as Kim. Otherwise I’d be the only person at work without one and at least I could make a list of new friends.

I was day dreaming so Frankie spoke up. ‘So who do you think is responsible for telling them this rubbish? It must be somebody at the Health Club.’

‘I don’t know. It’s not like many people know me or that I’ve upset anybody. I haven’t been there long enough to make any enemies and I’ve taken great care not to cause offence.’

‘I promise you we’ll find out. People lack common sense these days. They don’t realize the hurt they cause by fueling this sort of prejudice. My bet is that it is somebody who is either jealous of your relationship with Bec’s or even more likely your looks.’

‘But I’m treated the same as others by Bec’s and she keeps a careful distance. I’m not trying to look any different to the others. I wear the same outfits. I even wore a swimming costume for lifeguard training. Luckily I don’t have much to hide below and the costume enhanced my boobies if anything.’

‘Yes I can imagine you’d look pretty fit in a cozzy. You’ll have to let me see sometime. I imagine you attracted a lot of glances from male members in the pool and the jacuzzi’s. Bec’s says they have a problem sometimes with a few dirty old men who have nothing to do except laze around and oggle the females. You will certainly attract attention because you look so feminine and cute.’

‘You’re putting me off. I never noticed but then it was my first time in the pool.’

‘Well I was immediately attracted when we met and I didn’t need to see you half naked. I prefer to see you in nice outfits and I can imagine the rest. You have the nicest legs and a very slim waist. Your boobies are almost as big as mine and maybe they are slightly on the small size these days but you say you are still developing. ‘

‘Yes but maybe the doctor can give me something to stop them growing I feel a bit of a freak. They seem huge to me.’

‘Well if it’s any comfort to you most young women around here are C or D size these days and they like to flaunt them. Yours are firm and pert like mine used to be at your age. I like the fact that you think they are still developing. I think you just need to check them out occasionally. Do you mind if I just touch them and show you what to do?’

‘If you think I need to but please be careful, this is a bit embarrassing.’

‘Kimmie you shouldn’t be. They seem well rounded and firm. No lumps or anything. You obviously like my warm hands. Look at how your nipples have responded. You ought to keep massaging them everyday and if you don’t want to just send for me. Is that nice?’

‘Yes it feels so nice but I don’t understand why I am growing them and my nipples get a bit sore.’

‘Maybe you should ask the doctor. I think you might be like Steph was and maybe you need some hormone treatment and to go full time. You might find that the female side of you is taking over. Did you ever feel awkward living as a boy and think you might be a girl?’

‘But I’m a boy. I did feel happier with girls at school but it was difficult. I have the bits and there is nothing else down below. I am a lot smaller than boys of my age at school but it seems to work ok’

‘Well I’m no expert but have you ever had stomach pains like us girls have as teenagers? You might need a check up and even some surgery like Steph was due to have. Her parents were negligent.’

‘But I feel fine and apart from some stomach ache occasionally I haven’t really had any serious pain that needed a visit to hospital or the doctor.’

‘Well You’re due for a check-up so prepare yourself for a full examination. Not as embarrassing as us women go through fortunately. No stirrups and probing about. With luck of course.’

‘Well do you think she’ll want me to strip naked and touch me and stuff.’

‘Don’t worry she’ll wear rubber gloves. You won’t react will you if she touches your penis and sack? What if she is a pretty young doctor straight out of medical school?

‘ I’d be too embarrassed so I hope mum is in the waiting room. These days I don’t think my penis will react. I seem to have lost interest in anything that stirs it into action.’

‘Well even if it only works now and then I envy you. I don’t have a penis but often I feel it would be nice to have one and to have sex like a man. Often my brain tells me that I have one but there is nothing to grab hold of. I can even pee standing and I prefer that to sitting on the loo. I soon realised that I prefer to make love on top.’

‘What do you mean on top?’

‘ I mean in the position normally adopted by men they for some reason christened it the missionary position. I wonder why. It’s not exclusive for men either. Lots of women like to be on top with both men and women partners.’

‘Have you tried it with men?’

‘No. But they’ve tried it with me in my teenage years. A bit of a flp though if you pardon the expression. I was a bit too aggressive for them I think.’

‘So you’ve tried it with girls and with Steph of course?’

‘ I’ve tried with girls in my college years but I didn’t ever achieve a full on climax until I met Steph. She wasn’t very big but I liked that. I could excite her enough to get a grip and then we found my spot every time once I’d coached her a few times.’

‘So she had everything in full working order then?’

‘Sort of. She rarely reached a climax but she was as satisfied as me on most occasions. I wish she’d just left home and come to live with me. ’

I saw some tears forming in Frankies eyes and tried to change the subject. She wouldn’t let me.

‘Would you like to try sometime?’

‘I’m not sure. I have no experience and I’ve never been with a woman or a man for that matter. I’m not gay. Well I don’t think so.’

‘Did you ever get excited looking at magazines with other boys?’

‘No I never joined in and they used to make fun of me.’

‘So did you masterbate in your early teens like most boys do?’

‘I tried a few times with limited success. Since I came North I’ve found that nothing much is happening anymore. I don’t get anything, even first thing in a morning. At home I did get quite stiff first thing and I needed to relieve myself. I’ve put the lack of early morning rising down to the softer water as I said before.’

‘I don’t think so but I know a good way to find out.’

‘How? It’s sort of a private thing.’

‘Maybe I’d need to be there in the morning when you wake up. Would you mind?’

‘I don’t think it would be a good idea. Your mum wouldn’t be happy would she?’

‘Mum is a late riser and she needs her sleep. It’s not like she disturbs anybody and she trusts me completely.’

‘Well I don’t really know. I think you’ll be disappointed. I have no experience of anything like this. I’m a virgin.’

‘Well we might just be able to solve that and who knows it might bring a glow to your cheeks. But don’t be scared I will be gentle. A girl should enjoy every moment of her first experience. I’ll bring you something to bite on to stop you screaming.’

‘What? No I can’t it sounds scary.’

‘I’m just joking. It’s only men who are rough. I will be very gentle.’

‘OK so I suppose I’d better turn in if you intend waking me early.’

‘Well I suppose I can let you go. I’ll just tidy around and then I’ll be turning in as well.’

Frankie gave me a very passionate kiss good night and finally pulled away and helped me to my feet. I felt the most wonderful fuzziness all over my body. I could smell Frankies perfume and my nipples were sticking out. She tapped me playfully.

I removed my make-up and cleaned my teeth and then snuggled down under the sheets. I’d left the curtains open to look at the stars in the sky and turned off my bedside light. I lay their thinking about Frankie. She was a very beautiful woman. What did she see in me? I hoped she wouldn’t be disappointed. What will mum and Aunt Em think? Should I try to keep it secret?

I was just about falling to sleep when I heard the door handle turn and the creak of the bedroom door. As I turned the sheets were pulled back and Frankie whispered ‘Sorry I couldn’t wait my love. Do you mind if we start now in case I’ve lost my edge?’
She wrapped her arms around me and then kissed my neck and nibbled my ear. Then I felt her remove her pyjama bottoms and she pressed her tummy against me, Her hands moved quickly to removed my top and then my bottoms and she disappeared under the sheets to kiss my breasts.

‘Please Frankie. Shouldn’t we be going to sleep.’

‘Mmm plenty of time to sleep my darling. Let me fulfil my promise first.’

Summer With Em - Chapter 29
By Julie D Cole

This was a completely new experience for me since nobody has ever shared my bed even as a young child. I recall getting into bed with mum a few times when I was frightened as a young child and she would hug me closely to her breasts so I felt safe. I was probably about 7 or 8 the last time that happened although I’ve been scared many times since.

Frankie was nice and warm and I could feel her firm breasts on my back that she gently rubbed against me. She pressed her tummy against my buttocks and her hands gently caressed my breasts that responded. I was nervous but excited at the same time. Could this be true or was I dreaming?

‘Would you like to make love my sweet?’

‘I can’t. I don’t know how even if I wanted to.’

‘Don’t you want to?’
‘Well if I can but I’ve never tried before and I’m not like other boys at school or college. I’m not very big.’

‘Let me help you and anyway don’t worry because I’m not used to any penetration to reach a climax. You seem to be responding a bit. Do you like it?’

‘Well your fingers were cold at first but it’s nice.’

We must have kissed and stroked each other for 30 minutes or so before eventually Frankie moved positions and lay on top of me holding herself up and letting her hair brush gently across my face. I lifted my head to receive her lips against mine and she pushed my legs apart and settled into a comfortable position for both of us moving her hips up and down as if she was making love to me.

I was responding and I pushed back against her tummy. I couldn’t control myself and I wrapped my legs around her to cling on to her so she couldn’t get away.

Didn’t take long before I had my first ever organism even though it wasn’t much and not very intense but Frankie more than made up for it as she let out a small scream followed by a few groans and I felt myself getting wet as she lowered herself and rolled onto her side holding me tightly so I couldn’t escape.

…………………..

We must have both fallen to sleep after that and the next thing I knew was the sun was shining through the window onto us since I’d not drawn the curtains. Frankie pulled me back into her arms as I reached for my phone to check the time.

‘Not yet my love just stay here a while. There is no rush to get up today.’

‘But your mum? What will she think if you are not in your room when she gets up?’

‘Don’t worry she won’t look she is very discreet. She’s guessed already that we are in a relationship and she’s happy for me. Not like Grandpa. He’s from a different century long ago. He doesn’t understand how things have changed in his lifetime.’

‘But this doesn’t seem right. Did we make love last night?’

‘Of course we did. Don’t you remember how you brought me to climax and how you exploded too?’

‘But you might get pregnant if I exploded.’

‘No don’t worry it’s not that time of the month and anyway you exploded outside not inside.’

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t very hard and these days I rarely get excited and I’m not very big. I was imagining I was back to normal because finally the feeling came back. I didn’t dare stop you and even though I felt like I wanted to enter you I couldn’t hang on long enough. I couldn’t control myself.’

‘Don’t worry you’ll get better with practice. I’ll be happy to coach you. It was good for me’

I felt embarrassed but Frankie was very nice and we lay quiet for a while and then she chatted about other things. Neither of us had anything on under the sheets and I spotted my pyjamas on the floor at the end of the bed where Frankie had tossed them. I needed the bathroom but I was too scared to let Frankie to see me naked. Nobody had seen me without clothes for years.

Suddenly there was a tap on the door and I hid under the sheets. It was Frankies mum who asked if we were decent and announced that she was bringing a pot of tea and some toast to encourage us to get up since it was 10am.

As soon as I heard the door close again I peeked out from beneath the sheets to be certain we were alone again and whispered to Frankie.

‘Did your mum know I was here with you?’

‘She must have done because she’s delivered two cups and two slices of toast. Anyway this is your room and she will have looked in mine and seen the bed was complete. No need to worry she is very discreet.’

‘So I’m not the first that you’ve slept with here?’

‘Well one or two school friends stayed over regularly when I was at home but other than that nobody.’

‘What about Steph?’

‘Steph stayed at my place and we never stayed here overnight so my love you are the first.’

I was bursting by now and no way could I drink tea until I’d been to the bathroom. Frankie noticed my embarrassment and got out of bed to gather my pyjamas. She had no qualms about standing naked in front of me. I was transfixed and quite clearly I was staring at her. She had the perfect figure and I couldn’t believe that she was wasting her time on me, nor what she saw in me. I was just a freak of nature. A youth with boobs rejected all his life at home and now taking a holiday, dressing and working as a young woman.

‘Well you’ve now seen me naked so no need to be shy. There is nothing to be scared about but if it makes you more comfortable put these back on and I’ll pour the tea.’

I managed to put on the bottoms but I hadn’t time to put on the top. I was desperate so I leapt out of bed and almost ran into the bathroom whilst trying to put the top over my head.

‘Mmm nice boobies.’

I was a bit taken aback at Frankies comment but I couldn’t stop to respond since I was bursting to relieve myself.

Clearly she had seen my reflection in the mirror and whilst my upper body was in full view at least my lower body was covered. I couldn’t let anybody see me fully naked even Frankie. I always tried to cover my boobies until Em had taken charge and had me measured for the bras I now had for everyday wear. I had always been totally ashamed of my body growing up and even mum hadn’t seen it since she stopped bathing me as a child.

I closed the bathroom door and sat to pee looking at myself in the vanity mirror over the sink. I’d changed a lot since arriving in Manchester and my complexion seemed softer and my hair was longer and cut in a feminine style. Even without make-up I would have no problem passing as female and would have difficulty using male public bathrooms.

When I returned to the bedroom Frankie had poured tea for both of us and was already sipping hers. She was back under the sheets beckoning me to join her and she pulled back my side. She appeared to be still completely naked since she had nothing covering her body above the sheets and she was happily displaying her boobies.

I didn’t know where to look but at least I felt more at ease dressed in my pyjamas so I climbed back into bed taking care to pull the sheets as high as I could up to my neck that made Frankie laugh out loud.

She shook her head and then took hold of my hand and placed it onto her tummy moving it downwards so I felt the trimmed bush of hair beneath. Now I knew for certain that she was fully naked.

She was clearly in a good mood after the previous night’s love-making and was totally relaxed. She asked if I was comfortable again after my toilet break and apologised if she’d hurt me in her efforts to bring me to climax. She stared intensely looking deeply into my eyes so she could gauge my reaction. I was transfixed and unable to move but I finally managed to avert my eyes a little looking down at her breasts.

They were firm and beautifully contoured and I could see the difference compared to mine. Her nipples were protruding whereas mine hardly stick out but our areolas were similar size. However hers were much darker than mine and matched well to her tanned body. Perhaps as a result of laying topless in the sun on her balcony. In fact the lack of white marks on her body left me with the conclusion that she either sun-bathed fully nude.

I was marble white in comparison and I had no idea what she saw in me. I was neither woman enough to enjoy a passionate all girl relationship nor man enough to seduce her even if that had been her preference.

However she was right. I’d had my first ever climax and she’d taken the initiative that I’d enjoyed. She’d appeared to have several organisms compared to my one and without any penetration on my part. I wondered what must have been going through her mind at the time. I’d contributed very little.

She broke the silence and asked what I was thinking about and why I had put my top on.

‘I just feel embarrassed. What if your mum comes back in and anyway I wonder what you think of me since I’m not supposed to have these. They are not real like yours.’

‘Don’t be silly. They felt perfectly normal last night to me and they are obviously very sensitive by the way you responded to my kisses.’

‘Yes that bothers me a lot. I thought men’s breasts were supposed to be flat and lifeless. I’ve had these since I was about fourteen and I’ve had to keep them covered to avoid bullying. But since I left home they seem to have had a growth spurt. As I said I think it’s something in the water.’

‘If it is we should bottle it and sell it. Some women would pay a lot to be fuller up top. Come on remove your pyjama top and let me see what they look like in daylight.’

‘Frankie please don’t this is awkward for me. I’m hoping I can find something that reduces them back to normal.’

‘Come on or I will be forced to undress you again like last night. You didn’t resist then.’

‘No, but it was dark and I didn’t want to hurt you by resisting.’

‘Come on there’s just the two of us and the neighbors are too far away to peer through the window. Just a few sheep in the field across who are too busy having their breakfasts and keeping the grass down.’

I let Frankie help me remove my top and I let the sheets fall to my waist. Frankie smiled and let her fingers touch first one and then the other and there was an instant response from each nipple.

‘They look in good shape to me. We should try the pencil test.’

‘No please don’t draw on me.’

‘It’s not that sort of test it’s a test for firmness. Let me show you.’

She took a pen from the side of the bed and placed it beneath her right breast and it held in place.

‘See this is what I mean. It means I have good shape and firm breasts. Hardly a need to wear a bra. Sometimes I don’t but much depends where I’m going or who I’m meeting since my nipples do stand out more with certain materials. Especially when I’m wearing silk blouses or shirts. – Your turn.’

‘But I’ve never tried and I’m not so well rounded as you.’

‘See you are. A perfect pen or pencil holder and two in fact if needed.’

‘But Em says I should wear a bra to support my boobies or they’ll sag eventually.’

‘So you’re keeping them then?’

‘Well I might not have any choice.’

‘If I have a say in this then I don’t want you to do anything. I want you to stay as you are.’

‘But I’m going to see a doctor to find out what’s wrong with me and how to get back to normal.’

‘But I’m going back to college at the end of the summer and I can’t keep hiding them. Besides the longer I stay here the more feminine I feel. I’m not sure when all this will end.’
‘Well I have something to give you and also a promise that I’ll stick by you whatever decision you take. But please chat to me first before finalising anything.’

‘OK if that’s what you want. I trust you.’

‘Well here is a gift that I want you to keep if you’ll accept it. I have to explain in case it causes offence but open it first,’

‘What is it? A ring.’

‘Yes it’s a ring that I bought for Steph that I didn’t get chance to give her. It was a ring to show my love for her and for her to wear so she didn’t forget me.’

‘It’s beautiful but it looks too expensive and I’ve not known you very long. I’ve never worn a ring in my life and it might not fit.’

‘ Maybe or maybe not just try it on the third finger please. See it fits.’

‘Yes but this was special and it doesn’t seem right. It’s a womans ring. Are these real diamonds?’

‘Just small ones not too expensive but enough to take off if you are doing any washing up or other domestic activities.’

‘But I can’t accept it surely you can get your money back or sell it on e-bay or something.’

‘First you deserve it for saving my grandfather’s life that mum is so grateful for. Second it is to remind you that I care for you and one day I hope we can be together like I intended with Steph. But only if and when you feel ready.’

‘Thankyou I think it’s beautiful. But I won’t be able to wear it much back home unless I dress like I’ve been doing.’

‘That can be the third reason then. Leave it on and wear it every day. It will remind you of me and to come back at the end of college next year and next time there will be a bed at my place.’

‘Can I think about it?’

‘Oh. I suppose so.’

‘OK I thought about it. It’s a yes.’

Frankie reached over and we kissed. Our breasts touched and we snuggled up close and decided to let our tea go cold. We had nothing planned and neither of us were very hungry so Frankie picked up where she left off the previous night.

Summer With Em - Chapter 30

By Julie D Cole‘

It didn’t take Frankie long to remove my pyjama trousers even though I feigned resistance. She distracted me with one hand focused on my right breast and pinned me back by kissing me full on.

She had smooth hands with long fingers and her nails were beautifully manicured. They felt amazing as she tickled my nipples so I tried to do the same to her whilst hanging on to my pyjamas. They were soon around my ankles so I kicked them off and then to the floor at the end of the bed.

She then stroked my thigh and moved upwards until she reached my groin causing me to flinch. She cupped my testes and pulled back from kissing me.

‘Kimmie have you ever had any problems down below?’

‘No why? Everything works fine.’

‘Well you don’t seem as well developed as I expected. Not that I’m an expert but Steph was the same sort of size and he was having treatment.’

‘But I’m fine.’

‘But have you ever compared yourself to other boys at school or college.’

‘No I don’t go around ogling other boys, I get changed in private.’

‘I’m not suggesting that you’re gay or anything but you do have a lot of feminine features and maybe you need to do a little research before you go to the doctors.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well you should be a lot more developed down below by now so something might be causing it and if so you need to understand what’s going on.’

‘But I don’t believe in messing about with nature. I’m sure things are fine. Everything works and I’m not ill or anything.’

‘Well Kimmie I guess if it were me I’d want to know but it’s up to you. Just think about it please.’

‘OK I promise I will but I don’t think I can face being examined and strangers fiddling about with my private parts.’

‘Well women accept that as par for the course. What’s wrong with being as brave as we are?’

‘Yes, but I’m shy and nervous even at the dentists. I don’t like to be closely examined for anything. Will the put a curtain in front of me so I can’t see them?. I don’t even look at myself much, never mind letting anybody else look and then examine me. I might be able to do it if I can’t see the doctor.’

‘Well it might be a nurse at first. Then she’ll discuss with the doctor.’

‘That’s it I can’t let a woman examine me.’

‘Don’t be silly they do examinations all day long. They won’t dive on you.’

‘Will they touch me or fiddle about?’

‘You’ve let me. They’ll just touch and feel around a bit like I’ve just done.’

‘Well that’s different. You’ve been really kind to me and you aren’t a stranger.’

‘I was a few weeks ago.’

‘But I’ve learned to trust you. Anyway you’ve only seen me in the dark and from the back.’

‘Well I can think of a way to solve that problem for a start. It will help you. Why don’t we take a shower together? Then you can see me and I can see you. That’s if you dare of course.’

‘I’m not sure about that.’

‘If you loved me you would do it. It will give me chance to show you how to check out your breast’s that is something most women learn to do at an early age. I’ll be happy to teach you if you like.’

‘But you’re touching them now.’

‘There’s touching and examining. The examination is not sexual it’s just a procedure most women accept as routine to check for lumps that can lead to problems.’

‘I don’t have women’s breasts so why would I need to do that. I don’t think I have lumps. I’m not big enough. They’d stick out wouldn’t they?’

‘You are funny. You have breasts and lots of men can suffer similar problems to women. You’ll be searching for first indications of lumps they don’t stick out. It means pressing like this that doesn’t hurt. You can do it yourself and then you should check regularly. I’m sure that your doctor will show you and it will confirm what I say. ’

‘Well you are treating me as if I’m a girl. I suppose we can shower but can I go in first and then you join me after a minute or so. Promise you’ll look the other way whilst I go to the bathroom.’

‘OK if it helps.’

Frankie turned away and covered her head with a pillow that made me smile. I crept into the bathroom and ran the shower. With luck the mirrors would steam up and I could face the wall whilst she joined me.’

The water was nice and I applied soap washing away the previous nights evidence of excitement. I focused on my pubic area to make as much lather as I could. Then Frankie stepped in and the water washed them away as I stepped aside to make room. She turned me around so not to embarrass me and offered to soap my back.’

‘See I’m not going to bite. You have a beautiful back and a cute little bum. So cute I could just bite it. Pity that you can’t see the view. You have a perfect feminine shape.’

I didn’t know whether to accept it as a complement or feel insulted. I’d have to look using Em’s full length mirror the first chance possible.

Frankie put her arms around me and pulled me close to her so we could kiss. The warm water was now running over our heads and down our faces and Frankie turned me to face her and pressed me further into her arms so our breasts touched.’

I resisted at first but then I had no choice but to respond by raising myself slightly onto my toes so that I could press my lips firmly against hers. Now I didn’t want our kissing to stop but it wasn’t easy to breathe so Frankie turned off the shower. We stayed like that for several minutes, each of us taking it in turns to lead before she finally released me and smiled. ‘Getting better.’

‘Thanks I’ve had a good teacher.’

She reached for the towels and wrapped one around me before drying her hair with the other. She didn’t appear to have any inhibitions about standing naked in front of me to dry her hair. I couldn’t help but admire her body nicely shaped and pink as a result of the warm water. She had the most beautiful firm bust and her nipples were much the same size as my own. I envied the toned stomach and arms. As much as I’d tried with press ups and sit up exercises in my youth I had never been able to improve my physique. Frankie looked as if she worked out.

Her skin was smooth and soft despite the toning and I realized mine was just as smooth and hairless. I was often the subject of ridicule since boys said that I had the body of a young teenager compared to them. Not that I ever stared much but I was given no choice. Some guys paraded around the changing rooms fully nude showing everything. Especially those who seemed to boast that they were hung like stallions. It was more discreet at the health and fitness center but still embarrassing.

‘Did they ever try anything with you?’

‘No luckily not. I had always been conscious that my body was not developing at the same rate as others. When I looked on Google it just seemed that puberty was late.’

‘Well there’s late and late so best you get checked out. You don’t have much hair. Do you shave at all?’

‘No I’ve never had much hair growth except for my head and I don’t need to shave. I suppose that the hair did grow quickly in my pubic area but as you’ve found ot it’s soft and curly. Long enough I suppose to hide my package. I was dragged to the floor once and beaten by a gang of boys who then threatened to shave me to expose what I had.’

‘Did they?’

‘No a teacher arrived and stopped them.’

‘After that they spread rumors that they’d cut it off.’

‘How sad. It must have been hurtful.’

‘Yes but not as much as if they had cut it. My only option was to hide or change alone and avoid the risk of bullying as much as possible. School years were really horrible and if I complained to teachers I’d be stopped and beaten up on the way home. When dad was at home he just wanted me to go for boxing lessons to toughen me up.’

‘So didn’t your parents go to school to report these lads?’

‘No point it would have made things worse.’

As I said that my phone started to vibrate on the bedside table and I reached for it. I could see mums image on the screen and her number that made me reluctant to answer. Frankie insisted I talk to her and she would give me privacy by going back to her room.
Mum was pleased that I answered but she wanted to do a video call and asked where I was. I couldn’t let her see me like this or the surroundings as she’d just ask lots of questions. I said I was at Frankies mums place and told her we’d brought her home and stayed with her since it was my day off. I used the excuse that the wi-fi signal was too weak for a video call. She believed me.

Then she surprised me by saying that her boss had agreed to her taking vacation at short notice so she would take a train early afternoon and arrive in Manchester around 6-30pm provided she made the connection in London.

‘Does Em know?’

‘Yes I sent a message on WhatsApp and she said it was OK. I can bunk up with her tonight and she said you’d offered to stay with a friend not far away.’

‘Yes Frankie offered. It’s her mum we are looking after.’

‘Oh a girlfriend then? I hope it’s serious.’

‘She’s a friend of Em and Bec’s. I’ve got to know her quite well. But it’s not serious.’

‘Oh what a pity. Will I get to meet her whilst I’m up there?’

‘Probably since she is the one that offered me a room.’

‘So I can’t wait to see you I’ve missed you so much.’

‘Well I can’t wait to see you also. How will you get to Em’s is she meeting you?’
‘Yes it’s all arranged. I’ll be happy to see her since it’s a long time since we caught up face to face.’

‘That’s great news. She is wonderful. I like her a lot.’

‘Yes and she likes you a lot too.’

‘Mum but you need to know that I’ve changed a lot since I came here. Em has been so helpful. You’ve seen me on our calls but just head and shoulders without make-up.’

‘So you’ve been wearing make-up. Lot’s of young men do these days. We have several at work.’

‘But mum I’m now living as a girl not as your son. I have my own wardrobe of clothes and I am accepted as a girl at the leisure centre. Em’s friend arranged everything.’

‘Well I suspected as much but I need to have a long talk with you because that’s a really big step to take and you really ought to think twice. Whatever your decision I will support you but it’s also important for us to seek medical opinion. Have you made an appointment?’

‘I just need to confirm the date and time tomorrow.’

‘Good I’m glad that I was given permission to take early leave.’

…………………………………………….

After the call I dried my hair and dressed and put on some make-up before leaving my room to find Frankie and her mum. They were making bacon sandwiches and a pot of coffee and the aroma was just magic.

We made arrangements to take Frankies mum back to Frankies place to collect her car. Frankie declined the invitation to go see her grandfather by saying she had to sort out some things for work. I didn’t say anything about mums visit until Frankie and I were alone and hoped the invitation to stay with her was still on even though I was apprehensive. Now we’d slept together I didn’t think Frankie would stay in her own bed. I wasn’t sure that I wanted her to anyway.

I got my chance to chat to Frankie away from her mum and told her what mum had said. She was so pleased and immediately said she would take me to get some things I needed and she’d be delighted to meet mum and then take me back with her. I couldn’t argue and I didn’t want to anyway. I was beginning to trust her completely and my task now was to convince mum that I wasn’t losing my marbles and that living like this wasn’t something I’d planned or I could control.

Summer With Em - Chapter 31

By Julie D Cole.

I was soon dressed and I dried my hair and put on some make-up ready to meet Frankies mum who looked refreshed after a good nights sleep. She was already to leave and had eaten so Frankie and I just had a quick snack since I’d decided that I should try to get back in time to meet Em to go with her to meet mum from the train. We were soon on our way Frankies mum quite chatty in the back seat. She was obviously keen to know more about me.

I tried my best to answer as honestly as possible and Frankie cut in from time to time to try to change the subject. She seemingly didn’t want me to disclose any details of my true gender that would confirm the negative publicity. One thing she did obviously did notice before we left was the ring on my finger.

She asked if I was in a relationship and engaged to be married and had a look of disappointment on her face since she was aware that Frankie and I were in bed together and that we were close.

Frankie didn’t let me answer and was quick to point out that it was a ring that she’d bought for Steph that she’d given to me as a gift for saving her grand-fathers life. I switched the ring to my other hand and made a lame excuse about me having put it on the wrong hand by mistake.

She just smiled and looked out of the window. Frankie nearly burst out laughing since I was obviously red with embarrassment. I called Em to arrange to go with her to collect mum and Frankie said she’d drop me at the apartment that would also give me chance to change and pack a few things to stay with her. Her mum gave a little cough and a knowing smile.

We soon arrived at Frankies place and her mum hugged us both after we dropped her home and swopped cars. Frankie wanted to call work for a few hours so she dropped me at Em’s to sort some things out and call work. I had one more day before I was back on duty so chance to spend some time with mum at least.

I had time to call Em and I agreed to take a bus to the railway station to meet her there and avoid her having to leave work early to collect me. I had time to call the doctors surgery and they gave me instructions how to register as a patient and the receptionist was kind enough to fix an appointment for 5pm the following day. The appointment was with one of the lady doctors that made me nervous but with luck mum would be with me.

I decided I should wear the shorts I’d brought from home and a loose top to try to hide my bust as much as possible. My shirts from home were too tight now so I’d obviously expanded. I wished I had a tight t shirt to wear underneath or some binding material. In the end I put my bra back on to stop any bounce that might draw attention.

I looked in the mirror and tied my hair back into a pony-tail that I arranged so it fitted underneath a baseball hat. I opted for some canvas shoes that Em had given me. They matched near enough and I removed my make-up to try and look less feminine so not to shock mum too much even though she’d seen me on video calls. I felt I owed it to her to behave as much like a son as possible at least until the initial shock of the changes that had taken place had worn off. I knew Em had talked to her a few times about me but it couldn’t have been bad or I’d have been in trouble.

I used a small backpack that Em had given me to carry a few essentials. It seemed secure enough although the downside was that the straps accentuated my breasts. I couldn’t resist applying a light coat of lipstick in a light colour that I would remove at the station.

I arrived early to avoid as much of the rush hour as I could and headed for a Starbucks. I found a quiet corner and logged onto their wi-fi to catch up on facebook messages and any other messages from work or friends. I saw that the article about me was still on the BBC site that had attracted a lot of comments. They were a mixture of abuse and praise so I stopped reading them. I sent Em a message to tell her where I was and she was less than 15 minutes away.

Two female university students asked if they could share the table and got lost in conversation. I needed the loo so I asked them to watch the rest of my coffee and followed the signs to the washrooms that were upstairs. There was a small queue outside the ladies and somebody inside the disabled/baby changing room so I looked at the Gents and decided I had to use it. As I moved to the door a man came out and pointed me towards the ladies. My neutral look clearly hadn’t worked so I stood in line. I dropped my pony-tail outside my had to try to avoid any complaints when I went through the other door. I put on a little more lipstick that I hoped would also help. Luckily there were no complaints.

When I got back to the table I tucked my hair back under my cap and one of the girls sitting there smiled and said I looked nice. I didn’t know whether to take it as a complement or if she was trying to be funny. Then she asked if I was attending the University and if I was in Manchester to register as they had done. I told them I went to a college in London and I was up in Manchester staying with my aunt and working through the holiday.

The chatting increased and they introduced themselves. They asked my advice on the best student bars and eating places and where the shopping malls were located. I did my best based on my limited knowledge but in truth I’d not spent much of my own money since Em, Bec’s and Frankie had been treating me.

Em arrived before we finished chatting. I daren’t introduce her as my aunt so I just introduced her as Em. They got up to leave and we headed to the main hall to check the arrival time of mums train.

;Is this your butch look then? What’s with the disguise?’

‘Sorry it was just that I didn’t want to shock mum.’

‘Well drop your hair at least. Didn’t you see the way those two were looking at you. They assumed you were butch. Where’s the make-up? What’s with the boy-shorts I thought you’d binned them.’

‘But mum might be upset or angry.’

‘Don’t be silly she’s seen you on our calls and I’ve sent her some photo’s. She can’t wait to see you in the flesh.’

‘But I feel I’ve let her down. I’m her only son afterall.’

‘Don’t pre-judge Kim. Your mum knows you better than you think.’

‘But she has never seen me like this. I’ve changed so much since I arrived in Manchester. I can’t think straight sometimes. I feel really confused.’

‘Look a mum always knows her child best. In your case she brought you up virtually single handed and she became concerned about you. She asked for my help and we agreed for you to get away from your home environment for a while. She wanted me to get to know you better and help her to help you. She was really worried about you because you were in a rut with no friends and no social life.’

‘Em I was struggling at home. I took some convincing to come here but it’s been non-stop since I arrived. I really appreciate your kindness and it will be great to see you and mum together.’

‘Yes we are a family at last. I regret not visiting you in London. I should have invited you and your mum to come up here before. Life gets in the way but now have a chance to put things right.’

Tears were welling and we hugged. As I dropped my arms Em took hold of my hand. ‘What’s this, a ring on your finger.’

‘Oh yes it was a gift from Frankie for helping to save her grandfather. It’s nothing really.’

‘But it’s beautiful. It’s an engagement ring. You haven’t have you?’

‘No, definitely not. It’s a gift I promise.’

‘But why wear it on your third finger left hand.’

‘Because it fitted and I’m right handed and I didn’t want to damage it at work whatever.’

‘Mmm. Really. So it’s from Frankie who has taken you in and never let you out of her sight. Just be careful please because she hasn’t fully recovered from losing Steph. I don’t want you to be hurt.’

‘But it’s just a friendship and we hardly know each other. I like her because she’s been kind and I think she’s had a hard time. I don’t think her grandfather has accepted that she is such a strong woman with different views to him.’

‘No he isn’t my idea of a grandfather. Your grandfather in Italy is so different. I think you’ve definitely got his genes. Pity we don’t see him. It’s been a long time. Maybe you should take a visit sometime.’

‘It’s difficult. I don’t want to upset mum.’

‘Look a lot of water has gone under the bridge. Life moves on. You have a right to see your roots. Mum won’t object or be hurt I can assure you.’

‘Maybe. Funnily enough Frankie offered to go to Italy with me if I wanted to. I might at some stage.’

We looked at the arrivals screen and saw mums train was due so rushed towards the platforms. It was spot on time and the train was busy so lots of people were pushing past us all seemingly in a hurry. Then I saw mum waving and Em rushed forward to greet her with a hug. Then she spotted me.

.My Kim. You are a picture. You look so well. Colour in your cheeks and so much better than when you left. You must be happy up here. Well done Em. I’ve got my son back already.’

‘ But mum are you sure you’re happy to see me like this?’

‘Like what. You look very nice. I can see Em’s influence. I expected a little more make-up but you don’t need it. She was always the same at your age.’

We hugged and them walked arm in arm to Em’s car with Em taking charge of mums case and ushering towards the car park.’
It’s hard to recall what we talked about on the journey to Ems place with mum sitting in the back chattering and laughing all the way and clearly very excited.

Once we arrived mum freshened up a bit and moved into my room. I’d packed what I needed into a suitcase ready for moving to Frankies apartment for the week and I’d tidied around and changed the sheets on the bed. Mum asked who had cleaned up after me because at home she had a scruffy son who never tidied anything.

We all chatted over some tea and biscuits. Mum commented on how soft the water was compared to home and how it improved the taste of the tea and what a pleasure it was to make a lather on her hands with perfumed soap.

I told her my plans and about my job and she was interested to hear about the swimming pool incident and how Bec’s had helped me. Em told her that Bec’s had moved in and they were in a relationship together so she’d arranged for us to eat together and chat. She was also keen to meet Frankie. Especially when she saw the ring on my finger that I’d moved to my right hand to avoid any more interrogation.

I told her that I’d arranged an appointment at the surgery that was close by but I had no information on my medical records. Mum said once I’d registered they’d be able to get them from our surgery at home. She said she could provide a history during the examination if they asked.

Summer With Em - Chapter 32

By Julie D Cole,

As soon as I got an oportunity I sent a message to Frankie asking her if she’d mind coming earlier than planned so she could meet mum. I felt that I ought to ensure that mum was comfortable with me staying with Frankie. I’d never stayed with anybody before apart from this visit to Em’s who was family.

I also wanted to put us on an equal footing since her mum had met me. She was so nice and extremely kind to me and I got the impression that she really trusted Frankie.

I hoped Frankie would like my mum who has always been ultra-protective of me ever since my dad left. They never divorced and rarely contacted each other so we never had much contact especially whilst I was growing up. He came from a strong Catholic family who didn’t believe in divorce. I think he beat my mother sometimes but she never admits it.

When we arrived at the apartment I cleared my bags so that she could unpack but I now had too many clothes so most were still in the wardrobe and drawers. I couldn’t really decide what to take with me and half my suitcase was filled with my work outfits. I decided I could always call back but it did give mum the chance to examine my purchases most of which had been gifts from Em and Frankie. I was embarrassed to open my underwear drawer in front of mum but she just picked some up to admire them.

‘Kim would you like to change to let me see how nice you look in these?’

She picked some items out for me that she felt would suit me and I realised she wanted to see me in a dress rather than in leggings.

I didn’t need to hear her comments because her face said it all. She asked me to keep it on for dinner and she would dress up too. I stayed with her in the room whilst she changed and told her she looked nice. It was a long time since I’d seen mum in a nice dress and her face was a picture. She looked 10 years younger and it was easy to see she and Em were sisters.

Mum wanted to help me to style my hair and apply make-up and she was surprised to see my capability.

‘You should find someone to teach you and I’m sure there will be a good salon around here with a beautician.’

‘Do you mind me wearing make-up mum? I was worried you’d be mad with me.’

‘No not at all. I was pre-warned by Em. She’s done a great job. Is that your look for work?’

‘More or less. I just thought I’d be a bit more adventurous since we are dining together.’

‘Doesn’t Frankie mind? Does she know about you?’

‘Yes she knows.’ She is fine. She tends to be open about this sort of thing.’

‘I’m surprised but not surprised in this day and age. I guess I’ll see her reaction when she arrives.’

We entered the lounge to find that Bec’s had arrived and she was having a glass of wine with Em and they were preparing the table. They immediately decided to change if it was to be a welcome party and they disappeared for a while.

Mum and I sat down on the sofa and made ourselves comfortable. I was conscious that she was observing the way I took care to keep my legs together and tuck my dress under me and then crossed my legs. By now this technique was almost natural even though I’d spent most of my time in shorts or leggings since I arrived in Manchester.

She asked me what had caused me to make an appointment with the doctor and if I was having any health issues. I tried to re-assure her that I’d not been ill or feeling unwell but my biggest concern was that I had breasts which seemed to have had a growth spurt in recent weeks so much so that I needed to wear a bra. I had to stop myself from telling her that Frankie had also mentioned that I ought to get myself checked out down below.

She seemed hesitant to say anything in response but eventually burst into tears saying sorry and that it was all her fault. I put my arms around her to comfort her and tried to determine why she felt that way.

‘It’s all my fault I should have kept up with your appointments and paid more attention. I was in a mess and dad and I were constantly arguing because we were under pressure with the restaurant that we owned because I was spending so much time looking after your grandmother who was ill. We had to close it and dad left and went back to Italy. I couldn’t cope and I had to arrange for mum to go into care and then find a job to pay the bills.’

‘Mum I was OK I just kept myself to myself. I was upset when dad left and I didn’t understand but I never felt neglected.’

‘But you became withdrawn and I was too tired all the time to give you the care you deserved. It got a bit easier when Em stepped in to help with mum but by that time you were locking yourself away and I couldn’t get two words out of you.’

‘I know. It was because I was being bullied and so I used to keep to myself as much as possible. I did my school work and then played computer games to stop thinking about it.’

‘But I should have acted when I saw you weren’t developing like other boys. You were smaller and your voice never really deepened, even now and we should discuss this with the doctor.’

I was rescued by Em and Bec’s coming back into the room. I’d never seen Bec’s in a dress and she looked amazing. She was taller than the three of us with very shapely legs that looked fantastic in heels. At work she tended to wear flats and trousers or leggings. My mouth must have dropped almost to the floor. Em did a twirl as they came in but then saw that mum had been crying so she stopped and asked what was wrong. Mum just said she was so glad she’d visited and seen the change in me away from London and people I knew. She was so amazed by the change in me that she couldn’t hold back the tears and also she was happy to see her sister finally happy with a girlfriend. Then they both hugged and pulled me into the huddle. Bec’s was quick to take a few shots.

We had a glass of wine to celebrate and before we had chance to take a sip Frankie was knocking on the door. She’d come straight from work so she felt a little awkward that we’d decided to dress up. However she looked smart in a well fitted trouser suit and open necked shirt that weren’t cheap. She whispered in my ear to tell me I looked very tasty.

We had a wonderful evening chatting that passed too quickly. The food was delicious but I supposed we were all ready to relax and eat. Mum was very chatty and she didn’t seem awkward about my friendship with Frankie.

It was soon time for Frankie and I to leave and soon We decided to break about 10pm and I quickly changed into a casual outfit with leggings and sneakers leaving the dress behind. I had felt completely feminine in a dress and I noticed all four of them sneaking glances towards the hint of breasts every time I reached over the table with my chopsticks to take food to my dish. On the one hand it was an experience I hoped to repeat but then at the same time I was about to discuss how to reduce them in size or remove them altogether the next day.

So I was lost in my thoughts on the journey to Frankies place and any nervousness I might have expected seemed insignificant. I needed some company and the chance to see what Frankie really thought about me dressing and behaving like this. Could she love me as a boy without breasts? Would I feel the same way about her when I returned to London and back to college?

As we pulled into her car park she smiled and took hold of my hand.

‘Don’t worry Kimmie I’m not going to bite. You are very welcome to stay as long as you like so treat my home as yours whilst you are here. I don’t want to cause any problem with Em so there is no pressure. It will be nice for me to have somebody around for a change. Living alone is ok to a certain degree but it also sucks sometimes.

As we entered her apartment I thanked her for her kindness and we kissed. It was an amazing place with a beautiful view that I couldn’t wait to see in the daylight. Then she pressed something into my hand and kissed my neck lightly.

‘There you are my love, just so you know I completely trust you.’

It was a key to her apartment.

‘I’ll give you the building security code and I’ve already informed the management you will be staying with me. You can come and go as you please for as long as you wish to stay.’

I was flattered but slightly nervous. I’d never have believed I could be so lucky to find friends like this just a few short weeks ago and since my arrival in Manchester I felt my view of life was radically changing. I felt happier than I could ever remember in my relatively short life and Frankie seemed to be smitten. But she liked me as a young woman and had not seen the real me.

Frankie didn’t want to hang around too much so we had a hot milky drink and prepared ourselves for bed since we both had early starts the next day for work. Whilst I had my own room Frankie asked if I’d like to snuggle up together in her larger and very comfortable bed where we could have a little chat before going to sleep. My head felt I should decline but my body welcomed the idea and my tummy was turning over at a fast rate in excitement.

We chatted for a while and clung to each other exchanging kisses before I put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. So much was happening and I’d no idea how I was going to be received back at work or what I was going to say during the doctors appointment after work.

I had a beautiful sleep in a wonderful soft bed and awoke with Frankies arms wrapped around me when my alarm sounded on my i-phone. She tried to hold onto me to keep me from getting out of bed but I avoided the temptation. I threw my pillow at her as I disappeared into the bathroom to relieve myself. She snuggled it closely to show what I was missing.

We took a shower together and Frankie giggled when I put on a shower cap. It was OK for her since her hair was shorter and easy to dry but by now mine reached to my shoulders. I didn’t have time to wash and dry it and decided I could do that later at the health club if necessary.

We had some toast and coffee for breakfast and Frankie insisted to drive me to work that I appreciated. She wished me luck as I waved goodbye and to let her know how mum and I went on at the doctors.

I was on early shift so only girls on the desk with me to answer calls and check memberships. Most calls were about yoga classes checking availability and booking for the following day. Nicole was already a good friend and I asked her if she knew who might have caused problems for me with the report on the BBC webpage. The rumours were that it was someone in HR at head office who resented Bec’s success and tried to cause trouble for her because she’d employed me and allowed me to use female facilities. Bec’s hadn’t said anything the previous evening in front of the others but I hoped to get the opportunity for a private chat later.

I called mum during my break and let her know I was OK and she said she would come to the centre later to collect me and we’d take a taxi or a bus together. She was keen to look around and meet my friends and Bec’s had offered her a short term membership that gave her access to the Spa.

I managed to have a private chat with Bec’s once she’d finished her admin work and she re-assured me that she’d dealt with the leakage and confirmed that the culprit did work in HR. The matter was being dealt with and Bec’s was satisfied that her explanation about my hire was accepted and her decision was within company policy. I was registered as transgender and Bec’s followed the guidelines. No staff had complained and no issues had occurred.
I wasn’t sure that I was comfortable as being registered as transgender but since I was happy in my job and with colleagues I didn’t say anything. Maybe I was after all and I might find out later.

It was a quiet day really since lots of members were on summer vacation and apart from a few complements for my role in recovering Frankies grandfather nothing much was said.

When mum arrived I was allowed to show her around and she had time to kill so she booked a pedicure for later in the afternoon and a back and shoulder massage for the following day. She seemed to be enjoying herself so I took a shower before I changed to go to my appointment but left my hair tied in a pony-tail rather than washing it.

We arrived at the surgery about 15 minutes early so mum used the time to provide some details of our family doctor and discreetly explain that I was male despite my appearance. She was assured that that wasn’t unusual and it wasn’t a problem.

I sat nervously waiting for my name to appear on the screen and then we were called to see Dr Sarah Carter-Grimes where she was waiting. She was very kind and had no problem with mum attending. I explained that I was concerned about my breast growth that had started when I was about 12 or 13 years old and hadn’t stopped. She asked why I was dressing in female clothes and noticed that I was wearing a bra. I had no answer other than it was something that started when I arrived at Em’s and the bra was comfortable.

She wanted to examine me and I went into an annex room to strip and change into a gown whilst she called the reception to delay her next appointment.

Mum stayed outside the annex room whilst she checked by breasts and then my stomach and then my package. She commented on my smooth skin and asked if everything was in working order and if I ever had an erection. She asked me to place my feet in stirrups at the end of the couch and touched me all around my private area. Then she pressed my stomach again and asked if it hurt. It didn’t.
Then I was asked to dress and come back out when I was ready. She was looking on her computer when I sat back in my seat and she turned to me and told me she wanted to make an appointment at hospital to have a more thorough examination.

She asked mum about my medical history and mum explained that I was born 8 weeks premature and needed to stay in hospital for several weeks. Apparently my testes hadn’t dropped and there was no evidence of them.

Mum was concerned in case this would lead to problems and explained that they had been found and pushed into position when I was about 1 month old but they’d disappeared again later. My medical records would explain everything so the doctor said she would call our surgery later and arrange access.

We couldn’t do much more so mum did ask what options were available. It seemed I could have a course of hormone treatment because my puberty had been delayed. It wouldn’t reduce the size of my breasts but hormone treatment should deepen my voice and help with growth of body hair and beard growth to make me more comfortable around other males but I wouldn’t grow any taller.

She feared my testes were no longer existing that would be checked by scans and an expert and if so then there was an option of having artificial inserts to avoid the risk of cancer later in life.

I was dumbstruck and burst into tears.

Summer With Em - Chapter 33

By Julie D Cole
Once we were outside the surgery mum found a place for us to sit and talk privately. She put her arm around me to console me as much as possible and then asked why I had burst into tears. I just felt stuck in no-mans land as some sort of misfit. I didn’t understand what was going on with my body and I didn’t really want anybody probing about examining me at hospital.

Mum explained that when I was a few months old I was admitted to hospital where they found my testes and moved them into position. After that I had several follow up visits and everything seemed fine. We shouldn’t have missed the annual appointments and we should have examined you regularly.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘Your dad and I were going through a bad time and he left home to live with someone else.’

‘But I remember dad was at home right during my first school and even in my secondary school.’

‘Yes, he came back home for two spells but after his involvement with another woman it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t let him near me.’

‘But it looks like you both separated because of me. I wasn’t like other boys and I preferred to play with girls. Dad used to get angry because I was bullied at school. He wanted me to fight back. He was ashamed of me.’

No. He wasn’t at all. He only tried to do what most fathers do. He had the same problems when he was young and he knew that the only way to beat bullies is to stand up to them.’

‘But I remember you both shouting late at night when I was in bed. It used to wake me up.’

‘It was nothing to do with you. We were having problems with the restaurant that was losing lots of money. I couldn’t work there full time because of you and my mother was ill and needed care. We couldn’t afford help so in the end we decided to sell up sold up and he went back to Italy to work in his family business. He took his girlfriend with him and left me with the house.’

‘But he never visited and apart from birthday presents and a gift at Christmas I had no contact with him. Other kids at school saw both their parents even if they divorced.’

‘Kim I’m sorry that was my fault and nothing to do with you. I couldn’t forgive him for his affair with that woman, so I tried to punish him. I didn’t want him to see you. He wanted you to go to Italy for summer holidays but I refused.’

‘But he was my dad.’

‘Yes, I know he was. Even though he hurt me I can’t change that and I shouldn’t have tried to keep him away. I couldn’t put you on an aeroplane alone. You might not have come back.’

‘But mum we all suffered.’

‘Yes I know. Instead of arguing we should have behaved sensibly and sorted something out. We should have focused more on you and then maybe you would have carried on with regular examinations and treatment whilst you were young and had a normal puberty like other boys.’

‘Mum it’s worse than that. I’ve always felt that I never had a dad like other kids but I never complained or blamed you. Plenty of others at school came from split marriages but they didn’t seem to feel like I did so I shut up. I felt awkward and out of place.’

‘But it’s not too late. I’ll help you through this. Staying here with Em has changed you in more ways than one but you’ve gone too far. You need tests and then as Dr. Carter said probably hormone treatment and even inserts so you’ll feel normal and then you can be happy and find a girlfriend of your age and finish your education.’

‘But mum I don’t want hormone treatment and inserts won’t solve anything. I will still have nothing between my legs like other boys. Hormone tablets or injections won’t solve that will it? I’ll still have boobs and I can’t grow new balls. I can’t change who I’ve grown into can I?’

‘But Kim don’t make judgements and let the experts make their assessments. There are plenty of others who will have been just the same as you now living happy lives. This problem with boys isn’t something new. New medicine and operating techniques are being developed all the time.’

‘But I don’t want to be a guinea pig.’

‘You aren’t a freak and you won’t be a guinea pig. If I’d taken action when you were young you’d have been just like other boys. Even though the doctor wasn’t optimistic your testes might just be trapped and need freeing and pushing into position and there must still be a chance you can then go through your puberty and hopefully even father children one day.’

‘Mum you are dreaming. If I had any balls I’d have been able to get an erection and my voice would have broken by now. I’d have hair on my chest not boobs and I wouldn’t have hips. Look at me. I’m more girl than boy.’

‘Yes but lots of boys grow boobs and have hips in their early teens and eventually they disappear.’

‘Mum I’m nineteen. Anyway recently I’ve felt different and I don’t seem to have any desire to dress as a boy and I’d be happy to throw my clothes away. I think the clothes I’ve been wearing are comfortable and materials are better. I’m actually treated as a girl wherever I go,’

‘Kim believe me please you haven’t turned into a girl. You just haven’t developed properly but it’s treatable. They can sort this out just be patient.’

‘But mum I’m still going to feel the same inside. I have friends and I feel involved in things and I’m a lot more confident. I feel I can relate to the girls at work and we laugh at the same things.’

Mum looked at me with a blank expression. I felt tears welling up again and it took a while for me to calm down. Mum called a taxi and then she called Em to update her on what had happened.

On the journey I told mum I needed to call Frankie to talk to her and ask her advice. Mum seemed offended but Frankie seemed to understand me more than anybody I’d met. I arranged that Frankie pick me up at 8-30 pm to take me back to her place. Mum wasn’t happy but she knew I would not give in.

Em met us as we arrived back at the apartment and she had a quick word with me to ask me to stay calm and she’d help me as much as possible and talk to mum. Even so the chat with mum was awkward even with Em supporting me. She showed mum the tablets I had been taking that she said weren’t anything that would have a drastic effect. They were tablets that she used to soften her skin to avoid wrinkles and crows feet around her eyes. They were just a care supplement that Em had used to offset aging that had seemed to work for her so she felt they would soften my skin and calm my nerves. Mum just shook her head but she didn’t object since she felt they seemed harmless based upon her medical experience.

There were long periods of silence with frustration still showing on mums face. She did admit that she and Em had chatted about me quite a few times in the last twelve months and they’d agreed that I could benefit from a change of scenery. They’d hoped I would accept an invitation to stay with Em for the summer on the pretext of me having a working holiday to earn some money.

Their real reason was to get me away from a life of locking myself in my room in front of my laptop and Em was asked to encourage me to take more pride in my appearance.

Em admitted that she’d been surprised how feminine I’d looked on arrival in Manchester and that she’d wondered if I was intersex but she had not discussed it with mum. Instead she’d decided to see how I’d react to a little push towards femininity and had been amazed at the effect it had on me. Then events seemed to take over and during our first night out in Manchester her friends had believed I was a girl.

Em thought that I was less shy and more comfortable presenting as a girl and both Em and Frankie agreed. Frankie had explained about her friend who had committed suicide because he felt trapped as a boy and his parents had tried to force him to behave more masculine. They didn’t want that to happen to me. They felt I should be given the freedom to express myself so in the end both Em and Bec’s had agreed I should dress as a girl at work.

Frankie then took me under her wing and spent more time with me. I’d seemed so happy and then the event at the swimming pool occurred and I’d become quite famous and popular. Nobody seemed to care whether I was a boy or a girl as far as Em could see and Bec’s had informed her head office that I was transgender.

Despite Em explaining all this Mum’s face hardly changed expression. She then made it clear that she wasn’t prepared to let this carry on and that she wasn’t happy about the changes that had taken place since I’d moved north. She felt I should return to London with her and dress in normal clothes. She said she’d made a mistake by turning a blind eye to me presenting in a more feminine way and hadn’t realized how far this had gone.

‘Mum no I won’t. I’m staying and you can’t make me. At home I’ve had your love and affection but no friends and no family around us. Meeting Em has been so wonderful even though she is older than me. She has a nice life here in Manchester. I prefer it here.’

‘Kim you will do as your told.’

‘Mum why can’t we sell up and move here so we are all together. Look at the apartment Em has and the surroundings. The same for Frankie. Up here people are so friendly and it’s much safer to go out alone.’

‘Yes I can see the effect it’s had on you already. But I’m not having you living here as a woman you are a boy.’

‘Mum I’ve told you no. I’m nineteen. I’m old enough to make my own decisions and I.ve never been happier than I am right now. I’ve met Frankie. She is so kind to me. I don’t think she is prejudiced I feel she accepts me as a boy or as a girl.’

‘That’s another thing. She is quite a bit older than you and I don’t want you to get hurt. She seems to be very nice and she is very attractive and well-mannered so I can see the attraction but from what Em has told me she has had several serious relationships.’

‘Mum we are just best friends. It’s not as if she has behaved badly to anybody or that she let anybody down. She didn’t find the right person that’s all. It happens, the same goes for Em. Now she has Bec’s. Her marriage failed and yours too.’

‘But that’s my point I just want you to enjoy your youth and mix with others of the same age before you get deeply involved with anybody.’

‘Mum I’m not deeply involved. I like being with her. I think she has been very successful in her career and she is a strong person. I admire her. She has an amazing place and she has done well for herself in a man’s world from what she has told me. She did it by herself. She wasn’t a City girl. She grew up in a small village in Derbyshire and she fought for everything she’s got even though her grandfather was in a position to help.’

‘But Kim she is at least 10 years older than you and she apparently prefers the company of women to men. You are my son not my daughter and I fear she might be a bad influence on you.’

‘Mum why would she be a bad influence on me? Who says she prefers women to men? Anyway, so what if she does? That’s the sort of prejudice she’s lived with growing up and her grandfather virtually disowned her. How bad is that? If her own family doesn’t accept her as she is then what chance does she have in the outside world?’

‘Look Kim let’s drop it because we need to get you sorted out. I’m glad I came to support you at the hospital. We need to determine if there is a way to get your body functioning properly.’

I decided to stay silent and hopefully we could change the subject. I wanted to try to find out what the hospital appointment might involve and when it would take place. It wasn’t like I was an emergency case and should have priority over people with serious medical conditions. I was quite happy to stay as I was.’

I focused on my i-phone and my Facebook page. I already had more ‘friends’ in the North than I’d ever had down in London and most were girls. I felt like one of them.

At the end of their chat mum said they’d agreed that I needed to be fully examined to ensure I wasn’t at risk and they hoped I realized that this was urgent and I shouldn’t hang around. They suggested that I write a letter to the doctor and copy to my GP at home. I tried to stop them pressurizing me but I failed.

I was relieved when Frankie called me to ask what I wanted to do about eating. I wasn’t in the mood for eating with mum and Em to risk them lecturing me.

I excused myself and told them I was meeting Frankie. I ignored their protests and their suggestions that we ate together. I needed some space and I didn’t feel in a sociable mood. Mum offended me when she said she wanted her boy back.
I wasn’t proud of myself when I slammed the door as I left but I was angry. I had no idea if I had testes or not and I’d always had loose skin and it was Frankie who had noticed. Mum had never said anything about my medical history and apart from visits to my GP for Flu jabs with a nurse I’d never met a doctor as far as I was aware.

When Frankie picked me up I just broke down and burst into tears. She was patient and eventually I was able to tell her what had happened. She was very sympathetic and put her arms around me. She said that in her opinion the testes had probably shriveled to nothing in my body that probably explained my female characteristics. There wasn’t much chance of me going through proper male puberty or ever achieving an erection. She seemed quite knowledgeable on the subject and I realized why. Was this what had attracted her to me because I was effectively castrated?

Em called me and told me how sorry mum was and asked me to speak to her so I rang her back and told her what Frankie had said so there was little chance of her ever getting her boy back and having grandchildren. She’d obviously either worked that out already or been told it when my problems first occurred as a small child. I agreed to meet her the next day for lunch at the leisure centre and Frankie and I went back to her place.

We didn’t eat much and we ended up in bed together for an early night. I felt comfortable talking with her about what might happen after I had hospital examinations. She didn’t want me to have male hormone treatment or inserts and she said she was quite happy if I stayed as I was.

‘But I’m nothing and how can you ever love me like this?’

‘I already love you as a person so don’t fret we will work things out.’

‘But I’m not even half man and I’m only part woman so you’ll soon fall out of love with me.’

‘Will you consider something for me then if that’s how you feel?’
‘Of course I will. You know I will.’

‘If I’m right when you’ve had the consultation will you look into the possibility of the alternative option?’

‘There is no alternative option is there?’

‘Well you could have surgery and take a different type of hormones if necessary.

Summer With Em - Chapter 34 Final

By Julie D Cole

Our conversation was interrupted before I had chance to ask what Frankie meant by a call from Em. I couldn’t ignore it since she had been so kind to me even if I’d been annoyed by the conversation with her and mum.

‘Em I’m not coming back to talk any more. It’s a waste of time. I’m here with Frankie whether mum likes it or not. She understands me and I love her.’

Frankie held my hand and squeezed it gently in my support.

‘But Kim your mum is upset. She said some things that she regrets. I hope you will understand. I’ve calmed her down so please at least give her chance to explain. It’s not about your relationship with Frankie. She trusts you to make your own decisions.’

‘Em that’s not what upset me. She treated me like a child and told me I had to go home with her. She said she wanted her boy back. I’m still her boy.’

‘She was reacting to what she knew before your appointment with the GP. She’d tried to dismiss it but then it hit home.’

‘But she was pleased when she saw me like this and afterwards when we were all together at your place. She encouraged me to wear a dress. She told me I was beautiful. I thought she accepted the change I’ve gone through that I never intended. I’m still confused but at least Frankie seems to understand.’

‘Kim I agree and I encouraged you from the moment you arrived in Manchester. I told your mum my feelings after you arrived and kept her updated. Bec’s had the same opinion as me and agreed to help. We consulted Frankie because of her experience with Steph and what they’d researched together. You’ve helped her come out of a dark place.’

‘Yes but I’m not a child anymore. I feel I’ve grown up a lot and I’m treated differently since you helped

‘Kim your mum admitted that it was a shock to find out your condition was down to her lack of care and attention as you were growing up. She missed appointments and as a result you didn’t develop properly down below.’

‘I’m glad. I was never aware that anything was wrong. I’m glad I didn’t develop like other boys at school. Who wants hair all over their body and a gruff voice or a bald head when they get older. I don’t wish to wake every morning with something pointing out in front of me. I prefer to sit when I pee and hated going in mens washrooms. Ladies washrooms are cleaner and don’t smell of urine.’

‘But you need to give your mum chance and tell her how you feel. She feels so bad and she loves you so much.’

‘I know she does but she needs to accept me like this and my relationship with Frankie. I won’t ever go back home to London. I’ve had enough of it.’

‘So will you meet her during your lunchbreak tomorrow?’

‘Yes of course I will.’

‘And will you go to see a consultant to discuss your options in case there is any danger to your health as you get older. That’s the other thing your mum is concerned about.’

‘I’ll listen of course but I’d also chat about it with Frankie afterwards.’

Em seemed happy to finish the chat before I changed my mind and let mum know. I did promise to call her in the morning before we disconnected. Frankie smiled at me to show her approval and we snuggled up together with lots of hugs and kisses.

Eventually I got around to asking her what she meant by her comment about an alternative option. She smiled and said I should consider going all the way using her fingers like scissors with a cutting action.

I reacted immediately by punching her arm but not too hard. ‘Are you serious? Do you mean the snip?’

‘ Not exactly more like a King Henry VIII. Not so much a snip more of a chop.’

‘Frankie you mean cut it off?’

‘Well sort of it is reconstructed so why not? It’s a fairly common procedure these days and you just admitted to Em that it’s surplus to requirements. You said you liked being a girl. Why not go all the way? You might find you can enjoy a sex life and I’d be happy to help.’

‘But what if I change my mind afterwards? It’s gone.’

‘Sure you’d just need to go through a few consultations and then a period of preparation but you could stop at anytime.’

‘Are you saying you want me to do this and become a full-time girl?’

‘You are a full-time girl. You’re just missing the key bit that brings pleasure. The upside is that you won’t have all the inconveniences that women have at your age or the risk of pregnancy. You might consider that a downside of course but I don’t. I can never imagine me ever having a baby and certainly not if it involved sex with a man.’

‘But how would you feel about me then and what if the operation didn’t work or there were complications? What if they find my testes and move them into position?’

‘Fat chance of that Kimmie. They’ll be long gone that is why your mum was so upset. That’s why you didn’t go through male puberty and in my opinion why you have breasts and other feminine characteristics.’

‘But mum says if I take steroids to boost my testosterone I will build muscle and my boobies will disappear.’

‘ But you don’t want the body hair and the need to shave do you?

‘No I don’t.’

‘If you want to go the other route I’d be very happy. You’d be on a course of estrogen, female hormones but I can’t imagine you’d change much. You’d be subjected to a detailed examination to check everything is in working order and in the right place. They’d need to be sure this is what you really want so there would be an interrogation. But on the positive side you are half way there already. You are already living as a woman.’

‘How would you feel about me afterwards if I did it? I think it would be wonderful for me to feel like other women instead of hiding bits, but how about you? I might change. If I stay like this I feel it might be safer. Don’t you prefer me like this anyway?’

‘I don’t think it would make any difference to our relationship. But common sense tells me you need to be checked out. There is a risk to your health if you do nothing.’

‘OK I’ll tell mum that’s what I want to do and follow your advice.’

‘Kimmie just stop for a minute please. I don’t want you to do this for me. I am just giving you an alternative option to the one your doctor suggested. Just talk it through and most of all either way you’re the same person inside.’

We cuddled for a while and I thanked Frankie for being there for me whilst I was going through this awkward stage of my life. I said I was fortunate to have visited Em and mum was right to try to get me away from the house into a new environment. By some fluke Frankie had appeared on the scene and rescued me from a miserable life all alone.

We had the most amazing session after our chat with Frankie teaching me to find her G-spot and the rest of her erogenous zones starting with her ears then lips, neck, breasts, nipples and tummy. At each stage she demonstrated on me to show me the pleasures this brought but since I had no vagina I had no G spot it was her way of pushing me gently towards an operation.

She was very happy when she finally closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep. I lay my head on her shoulder and lay awake for quite a while wondering if it was possible for a surgeon to create access to my G spot or construct one if that was possible.

It was after midnight before I finally fell asleep and so it took me a while to wake up properly the following morning. Frankie was already up and showered and she brought me around by shaking drops of water from her wet hair before kissing me passionately on the lips.

‘Come on sleepy head you need to get your skates on. I’ll drop you at work if you hurry up.’

‘Sorry Frankie I couldn’t get to sleep straight away because I was thinking things through how to deal with mum. I want to re-assure her that she has no need to feel guilty about how I’ve turned out she needs to feel as happy as me. I want her to be proud of me not ashamed in any way. I want her to accept that my decision is to discuss having an operation to make me complete. I want to be your girl and mums daughter not her son.’

‘And after that?’

‘I want to move in with you for the rest of the summer, such as it is, if you don’t mind of course. Then find somewhere to live and find a full time job rather than finish my university course. I just want to feel accepted and to experience life as a woman. Maybe I’ll find a husband and we can make babies together every night.’

‘Kimmie are you dreaming?’

‘No I’m teasing you. I just want to get things sorted and I’ll do my best to become worthy of being your life partner.’

‘So how about phoning in sick and I’ll convince you that you already found a husband and she will gladly be your life partner if you’ll have me?’

Summer With Em - Chapter 35

By Julie D Cole

We giggled for a while before Frankie reluctantly decided that we should get up and go to work. I knew she had a very responsible management job and I shouldn’t distract her or encourage her to set a bad example to her staff. I also wanted to be respectful to Bec’s since she had been so kind to me and I enjoyed the job I was doing.

After a quick shower together we wrapped ourselves in large fluffy towels fresh from the laundry and dried ourselves and brushed our hair. I took the opportunity to examine myself whilst Frankie was selecting her outfit for the office and examined my sack that was hanging loose below my apology of an appendage that was becoming an embarrassment to me. Without it I’d be free to enter female changing rooms in shops and department stores without fear of arrest. I selected a pair of panties that would hold it tight against my tummy with minimum show.

I quickly dressed in the work outfit I had set aside for my day of reception duties that I preferred to the more casual outfits we were allocated for general duties and assisting in the exercise rooms or pool areas. We had skirt or trouser options and since I was meeting mum during my lunch break I deliberately selected the skirt. I needed her to accept that I was not going back to life as ‘her boy’ so I had decided it was best if I left all traces of him behind in London . As far as I was concerned I wasn’t going to allow him to exist in Manchester. The boy clothes I’d brought with me were still in Ems apartment and they probably didn’t fit very well anyway. They could go to a charity shop as far as I was concerned.

Frankie did a little whistle as I entered the breakfast area and was kind enough to tell me how cute I looked as I sat on a bar stool and crossed my legs to join her for coffee and toast. She liked me in the skirt but suggested I wore heels rather than the flats I had selected because I’d be on my feet most of the day. She suggested to get used to wearing them and to take the flats to change into from time to time during the day.

I welcomed her suggestion and so I went back to my wardrobe and selected the more comfortable pair out of my range of two pairs. They were black so they matched with the black skirt. The heel was high enough to raise my height slightly above mum even if she was wearing heels. I needed to let her know I was ‘her girl’ now and an adult capable of making my own decisions and no longer a child.

As we were about to leave Frankie stopped me and said that she wanted to offer to help me as much as possible. She suggested that I move quickly to make an appointment with an expert to avoid any risk of serious health issues later. She mentioned the ‘C’ word that focused my attention. She suggested I consider a private consultation with an expert in orchiectomy rather than wait for an appointment through the National Health. I’d no idea what this meant so she suggested I look it up on my i-phone and then discuss this with mum.

I told her that neither mum or I had spare cash for private consultations so it was difficult. She squeezed my hand and said she’d meant that was happy to provide the funds and also that she’d go with me if I wished. She said that I needed to establish if I was at risk by doing nothing since mum had told me that my testes had been removed as a youngster and there had been no follow up.

I needed a tissue because I didn’t feel I deserved such kindness and we hugged for a few minutes until I recovered my composure. I thanked her and said if I did it then I’d pay her back as soon as possible. She said it wasn’t necessary and that we should chat later because she could find someone and also recommend a private hospital.

I stared out of the windscreen into space for most of the journey to work trying to understand all that had been happening to my body and what was happening to me in my life. I liked this new image that Em had helped me create and the opportunities that seemed to come with it. It felt right. Also as a result of the change I’d found someone who accepted me and loved me and I hoped it would last. I felt I had to consider making my appearance even more feminine if only to keep her interest in me.

My dilemma now was that I didn’t want to upset and fall out with mum who had done her best to raise me and encourage me to be kind and polite. I had no idea what dad would have thought about me becoming his daughter and I was too young to remember much about him when he left us. He must have been unhappy. I wished he had stayed and worked things out with mum and life would have been easier for her and maybe I’d lacked male influence growing up. On the upside probably none of this would have happened and I’d never have met Frankie if dad had been around.

Frankie asked if I was ok and I just nodded and bit my lip. She smiled at me then focused on the morning traffic so I stared out of the window again. I knew that Em had become more like a sister than my aunt and she liked me as a girl even though she’d tried to support mum. She’d made her own difficult decision in no longer hiding her relationship with Bec’s facing prejudices at her workplace and risking an aggressive attack from Bec’s husband.

It was clear that they were extremely close and happy and that both preferred the company of women rather than men. Males were not part of their lives going forward. I didn’t think Em had had a serious relationship apart from with Becs. Was that why they had encouraged me? I wasn’t sure but it didn’t matter anyway since they’d done me a favour.

Now I was sure this was the life I wanted and determined to carry on even if things didn’t work out with Frankie. I hoped she would accept me whatever I finally decided and hoped that male puberty wouldn’t kick in. I needed to stop it and much depended on mum having a change of heart.

Frankie learned over and kissed me as she dropped me off and she wished me good luck. I thanked her for her support and told her that I didn’t want to fall out permanently with mum but I’d made my decision. Whether or not my decision to seriously consider Frankie’s suggestion to have sex reassignment surgery would go down well was another matter altogether.

The morning at work passed quickly and Frankie called around break time to tell me she’d contacted a Private Healthcare hospital in South Manchester and set up an account so I could call to make an appointment. I decided to call during my afternoon break after I’d met mum.

Not long afterwards mum called to say she would arrive about noon. She seemed to be pleasant with no sign of a lecture for me. I decided we should just have a snack for lunch in a quiet corner of the cafeteria. We would have some privacy and we would give us a full hour to talk so I arranged some cover on reception just in case our chat dragged on.

When she arrived I signed off. It was very awkward for me at first and I was expecting a cool reception but I had nothing to worry about because my mum hugged me and immediately apologized for what she’d said the evening before and for upsetting me so much I’d left. What a relief.

She looked me up and down and told me that I looked especially nice and very feminine in the heels that worked with the skirt showing off my shapely calves. She asked where I’d bought them and if I went shopping alone because she’d be happy to go with me sometime.

The change in mood music surprised me and all the points I had planned to blurt out were now irrelevant. After I’d left Em’s place she’d had a long chat with Bec’s and Em over a bottle of wine and they had calmed her down. She had been devastated by the comments by Doctor Carter blaming herself for not continuing my hospital checks after I’d had my testes removed. She felt it was a consequence of her smoking during her pregnancy and taking drugs in her teenage years that caused my premature birth. I was diagnosed with undescended testicles. They’d been located and repositioned when I was about 6 months old and were still in place at 4 years of age but they kept slipping back.

Finally at the age of 9 she’d agreed that they should be removed. That was done at a main hospital and I recovered quickly so mum assumed that everything was solved. It was around that time that her marriage problems started so she was very upset and heavily distracted.

‘So you blamed yourself but why? There is nothing you could do about it and so I don’t feel any anger or bitterness. You looked after me and it must have been difficult without dad around. I had some bullying at school but lots of other boys did too. I survived and now I feel alive and I am having fun. I am probably as happy as anybody who I went to school with since now I have friends at work and through Em and lucky me now I have a girlfriend. Who could have imagined that a few months ago.’

‘Yes Kim I’ve seen the change in you. It’s quite remarkable. You look healthier and happier than I’ve ever seen you look since you were an infant but I still regret not following up with hospital appointments. You were a beautiful child so I’m not surprised that you make a pretty young woman.’

‘Mum I’ve inherited my looks from you and dad. It’s amazing what make-up can do and boys don’t get that chance.’

‘Kim I’m sorry I got angry with you last night and I hope we can forget it. But I still think it would be better if we returned to London together to see our own doctor for his opinion. He can a specialist consultation at our local hospital and you’ll be close to home if you need any surgery.’

‘Mum I don’t want to go home I want to stay here where I have a job, friends and a girlfriend. I’ve not played computer games for ages and I’ve had a social life. Frankie and I had a long talk and she has recommended a private consultation at a Healthcare hospital that isn’t far away. She offered to pay the costs to speed up the process.’

‘Kim there is no way you can accept that. It’s our problem and it’s nice of Frankie to offer but either I use some of my savings or I ask your dad to contribute. He can afford it.’

‘Mum I’m not hanging around and there is another reason for staying up here and letting Frankie help that we’ve discussed together. I want to ask if I can have some reconstruction work since I don’t have any use for this thing between my legs.’
‘Kim no please you mustn’t. Just because you had your testes removed is no reason to take such a risk. It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face.’

‘Mum there are lots of people who’ve had this surgery with total success. They can even experience full sexual arousal and climax. It’s almost impossible at the moment.’

‘Kim you’ll be with a woman not a man if you carry on with Frankie. So what’s the point?’

‘Mum please don’t. Just ask Em.’

Finally mum gave in and said she’d fully support whatever decision I took as much as it troubled her. She said if it made me happy and I took care to find the best advice and support she’d be relieved. She wanted dad to meet me and have a talk face to face and would ask him to fly to Manchester as soon as he could.

I wanted to jump up and cheer and dance with mum around the table. We hugged and tears ran down our cheeks that brought a few strange looks from other customers in the café. I couldn’t wait to call Frankie.

Summer With Em Chapter 36

By Julie D Cole

I arranged for mum to have a de-stressing massage since the salon wasn’t busy and my lunch break was up and I needed to get back to my reception duties. I didn’t really have time to call Frankie so as soon as I got chance I sent a quick WhatsApp message with several emojis for thumbs up and I added a few smiley faces and my usual kissy lips. I promised I’d call asap during my afternoon break. It was such a relief that mum was calm and reasonable.

Sarah who was sharing reception duties noticed the difference in my mood and asked if everything was OK because I’d been very quiet all morning. I thanked her for asking and told her that mum had wanted me to resign and go back to London with her because she thought I was likely to stay in the North and she thought I was getting too involved with Frankie.

‘Is she worried that you are in a relationship with someone older? Is she so out of touch?’

‘Partly but she doesn’t like the fact that Frankie is a woman. She can’t really complain because her sister is……’

I suddenly stopped realizing I almost dropped Bec’s right in it and as far as I knew everyone thought she was still living at home with muscle man.’

‘Her sister is what?’

‘Oh sorry I shouldn’t say anymore. I shouldn’t gossip about family and I was telling you this in confidence as a friend.’

‘Go on I won’t say anything to anybody. Anyway nobody knows your mum or her sister so it’s not exactly interesting gossip to anybody is it?’

‘No it’s not. It’s just that she came out as lesbian when she was at university and was in a relationship. She never had boyfriends like mum.’

‘Well so what? There were several girls here in the past who preferred other girls. Most were young and never hid it. Now not so many around. But interesting in case you don’t know. The boss swings both ways.’

‘How do you know that. She is happily married.’

‘Was married more like. It seems they split a while ago. One of the weight training guys upstairs met her husband at a competition and he told him. He said that she regretted getting married and the sex side was none-existent. She had met an old girlfriend and she wanted some space.’

‘So that happens every day. People split for all sorts of reasons. Some just go back home.’

‘Well some of us chatted about it today in the locker room. Erica has been in earshot a few times near the office and overheard a few personal calls. She was sure she was having an affair and it was a girlfriend not another man. So just put two and two together. Simple prefers women rather than hunks.’

‘Well lots of men and women lose their libido especially muscle men so it could be as simple as that. We should respect their privacy. We shouldn’t draw conclusions about Bec’s. It’s none of our business. She has been very kind and supportive to me.’

‘Yes we know. She almost got the sack for not reporting that you were allowed into female changing areas and bathrooms. You are really a boy aren’t you? A boy who dresses like a girl. She told us that you are transgender. Is it true? Have you had it cut off?’

‘No. I’m not hiding anything. It came out in my interview. I’m not trying to deceive anybody. I’m more comfortable as a girl and I’m having some tests to determine why I’m more female than male.’

‘Does that mean you are intersex? Do you have boy bits and girl bits? Cool. You can tell us what it’s like to give as well as receive pleasure.’

‘Sarah please slow down. I don’t think I’m intersex but I don’t know enough about it yet. I need to have some tests. I just have breasts and possibly some bits missing that should be on display at my age. At least on display to me’

‘How strange. It sounds weird to me.’

‘I’ve been discussing this in privacy with mum who is concerned so please don’t discuss this with others especially those who like to spread gossip. It’s a medical condition and it’s very personal.’

That at least shut her up but after that tirade I just burst into tears I couldn’t help it. I needed some space and so I went into the back office for a few moments to calm down. Why were people jumping to conclusions and getting so much satisfaction out of spreading rumors? First about Bec’s and now about me.

Once I’d calmed and dried the tears I saw that there was a queue forming so I went back out onto reception. Sarah whispered that she was sorry and hoped she could be forgiven. I nodded and said nothing and we carried on without much further interchange until the queue was cleared. I couldn’t leave it as it was.

‘Look Sarah I have boy bits and girl bits that need sorting out. I’m not intersex or anything. It’s just that I should have had some treatment when I was young. If that had been done then I’d have probably developed differently and more fully by now.’

‘Well at least there is an upside for now at least you are safer than the rest of us here.’

‘What do you mean I almost got the sack if Bec’s hadn’t stood up for me.’

‘No I didn’t mean that. What I mean is that until you get sorted you don’t have to fear she might touch you up and take a fancy to you.’

I couldn’t believe my ears. What an awful thing to say about Bec’s just because she was happier in a relationship with another woman rather than her husband. Sarah was going to be right off my Christmas Card List. I had to bite my tongue before I said something I might regret later. She tried to make out it was a joke.

I was so taken aback and uncomfortable that I kept a distance from her as much as possible for the rest of the afternoon. At least she would be on her days off for the next two days. I was going to ask if we could be split up for a while.

I had enough on my mind as it was and refocused. At least my chat with mum had gone better than I expected. I realized that I needed her support and her co-operation even though I was classed as adult now. I didn’t expect her to be happy about the changes I was going through but I wasn’t resentful or angry. If I wanted to do as Frankie had suggested and remove the appendage that wasn’t serving much purpose it was my decision. I was now 19 years old going on 20.

I felt that it might be easier to sort things out with Frankie in support now mume had decided to go back to London. At least she was calm without any guilt about the past. Mum and I could chat over the phone.She needed to go back to work and told me that she wanted to save some vacation so she could come back to Manchester for any critical appointments I might have.

I was a little worried she might pressurize me again later since she had insisted that she would contact dad. I couldn’t understand why since they hardly spoke. She might be trying to get him to talk some sense into me. I’d not seen him for years and I had no idea how to talk to him. He might not even care.

As I calmed and thought things through I concluded that I would need to go back to London in the near future. Mum had my birth certificate and passport as well as other documents including all my school records and my savings account details. They were all locked away in her safe in a cupboard under the stairs. I might also need to see my doctor at home so that my medical records could be released quickly and avoid any delay.

I realized that I would like to open up my desktop computer that was in my bedroom and if I had sufficient time I would download everything to my laptop. I needed to clean it completely since I didn’t need it and then it could be destroyed. It contained a lot of photos of me and some when I was growing up that I’d scanned from prints. The rest of my old photos were in a shoebox along with photos of mum and dad and my grand-parents in happier times. I knew that there were some photos of Em as well as a teenager and mum had said that we looked alike. I wanted to see for myself.

When I called Frankie she was delighted that I’d had a good chat with mum. She was happy that things had calmed down and then told me that she had some news of her own. Her mum was on the way to Manchester and she would be staying overnight with us since she was visiting her father who was being released from hospital the following day. She was going to move in with him for a while until he recovered.

I was pleased and hoped everything continued to go well for her grandfather and her mum would be happier staying with him. Better than traveling by car every day. At least she had that worry out of the way.

Then I told her what mum had admitted that I’d had my testes removed when I was 9 years old and that she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. It had never been explained to me and no wonder I had to change in as much privacy as possible at school. Boys were cruel if you looked different and some of them liked to show off. Especially as they sprouted pubic hair.

Now I knew why there was just loose skin and Frankie said it was no wonder I hadn’t gone through puberty and that I had feminine features. She said it might mean we needed an alternative consultant and we certainly needed my medical records. She suggested I explain this when I called the Medical Centre and not to feel embarrassed.

When I told her mum was going back to London and was intending to contact my father to ask him to come to Manchester and talk to me she wasn’t concerned at all. She thought it was a good idea for him to see me and see how happy I was and what a beautiful daughter he had.

‘But I haven’t seen him for years and he hardly ever was in contact apart from gift and cards.’

‘Kimmie if you decide to go ahead with a reconstruction operation the path is easier if both parents support your decision. I went through that with Steph and her parent were opposed that resulted in Steph feeling she had no future. Sadly I couldn’t get to her to explain to be patient. Tragically this family misunderstanding led to her suicide. You need to let your father see you and understand how you feel. This operation may just be a consequence but on the other hand it is just as likely that as Lady Gaga sang you were born this way.’

‘So do you think I should contact him myself?’

‘Of course you should. I already told you I’d be happy to go to meet him in Italy with you. Wouldn’t that be nice?’

‘ Yes but I realized after chatting to mum that my passport is at home. It shows me as a boy so I would have to dress in my boy clothes or risk being stopped and questioned. That would be embarrassing.’

‘So if it makes it easier for you then let him come to Manchester but we can deal with it either way. We could travel in androgynous style with both dressed the same way. Boy/girl style as if we are in the fashion industry. Would that make it easier?’

‘I suppose so and I’d love to go to Italy rather than him come here. I suppose I could offer to go to Italy when he calls.’

‘Yes let’s talk about it later.’

‘Frankie we aren’t going to get the chance to chat together with your mum staying.’

‘Don’t worry she’ll be at the hospital until around 7 pm and she’s probably at granddads place now ensuring his cleaning lady has the place ready and some supplies in.’

‘I think I should at least meet mum and Em this evening for dinner. Is that a problem.’

‘How about we have dinner together and mum joins so they all meet. We need to do that eventually anyway.’

‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’

‘Yes definitely. Let’s strike whilst we can so everybody understands we are planning to stay together and no point to try to stop us. We don’t need to discuss your intentions for surgery. That is sometime in the future after your examinations and consultations. It shouldn’t be a surprise to anybody. They only have to look at you to see the girl I see.’

‘Frankie you see things so clearly and positively. I hope that some of it will rub off on me. I will send a message to mum and Em then call the medical centre from the office when Sarah comes back on reception. Thanks so much I know I’m a bit pathetic sometimes but I wasn’t like this before. ’

‘Kimmie you’re not pathetic it’s just a natural reaction after the changes you’ve been going through in your life and we all need someone to talk to at times.’

‘Well thanks anyway because you’ve been so kind to me ever since we met and I really like to be with you. I was all alone before I came to Manchester and now I’ve got you, Em and Bec’s as special friends. You are all a bit older and wiser than me but you treat me as one of the girls.’

‘That’s because you are rather special.’

We ended the call because a queue was forming again as several more classes were coming up. I caught a glimpse of Bec’s as she left her office to go upstairs for something and she smiled and waved. I was lucky to have a boss like her who didn’t seem have any prejudices and she’d accepted me as who I was from day one. I hoped to catch her attention when she returned to her office so I could ask if she had any plans for the evening.

Frankie sent me a message to say her mum was delighted to have dinner with us and she was pleased to get chance to meet my mum. She had insisted to Frankie that we choose a venue and she would pay to celebrate our engagement.

I was shocked for a few minutes until I got a follow up text to say it was really a thank you for my prompt action to save her fathers life. Frankie was just teasing. What a relief. I had a ring but we hadn’t discussed marriage and I’d only just calmed mum down.

She said she’d book somewhere for 8pm if I sorted out if everybody was available. She fancied going to Chinatown since her mum liked the atmosphere and she thought it would be good to have a round table that made it easier for everybody to chat. I knew mum would be pleased and I’d heard it was a great place to visit. We didn’t need to worry about dress codes either if it was short notice.

I managed to contact Em, Bec’s and mum and they all seemed pleased to get chance to meet Frankies mum and especially to go to Chinatown. I called Frankie back who was with her mum at her grandfathers apartment and she offered to pick me up so I could quickly change at her place. It was a nice evening so I wanted to change out of my black skirt and wear something lighter.

It didn’t seem long before I was signing out and getting into Frankies car and her mum was at the apartment getting ready. She hugged me as we entered and asked if everything was alright with mum and told me she was looking forward to meeting her. She had opened a bottle of white wine to calm her nerves after rushing around and insisted Frankie and I join her.

We were going to Chinatown by taxi at 7-30pm so we had time to sit on the balcony in the sunshine. It seemed weird that I was in a skirt yet they were both in trousers and moreso that Frankies mum accepted me as a girl.

I excused myself to freshen up and changed into a pair of denim shorts and sneakers with a light top. Frankie stayed dressed as she was in trousers and shirt but she always looked smart. Her outfit was designer label so never looked creased or untidy. I asked if I looked OK and she just smiled and nodded.

Her mum told us that everything was organised for the following day to collect her father. A care worker was set to stay for a week and Frankie and her mum were going to collect him in his Range Rover car late morning. I was invited to join them but I declined as politely as I could. Of course with Sarah on leave it was easier.

Our taxi soon arrived to collect us and we were seated by the time Em, Bec’s and mum arrived. Mum and Frankies mum were both very polite and chatted immediately so they sat together. Em and Becs were the other side and happily that meant Frankie and I e\were sitting together. She held my hand under the table as she helped the conversation along and passed over to her mum who gave a small speech praising my actions and expressing her gratitude. I blushed of course.

It was a very enjoyable evening and the conversation never stopped. We had far too much food served as much as we all tried our best. For me I felt I now was at ease in company and Frankie teased me and told me I never stopped chatting. There was no mention of my forthcoming medical checks and it was nice to see Em and Bec’s looking so happy together.

Just before we booked our taxis Frankie decided to make an announcement that came completely out of the blue.

Summer With Em Chapter 37

By JulieDCole

Everything went silent and Frankie did a nervous cough to clear her throat.
‘As you know Kim here was on hand at the swimming pool and doctors told mum and I that her prompt action and life-saving skills no doubt saved my grand-fathers life. I have had a difficult time with him since I came out and he has been very anti-gay all his life. He felt I shamed the family and he shunned me. He disowned me and withdrew the funds he’d set up to support me through university. I showed him that I didn’t need his money or to go to university to achieve my goals in life. But even though I’ve been successful it hurt mum that granddad and I didn’t speak. I watched him do everything in his power to oppose the Gay Pride marches and opening of safe areas where people could mix freely and meet friends. I became angry and it was only through my friendship with Em and Bec’s that I stayed calm. I was really unhappy and I was struggling and mum was worried about me. Then Kim appeared from nowhere and in a few short weeks my life has changed. I have fallen in love with her and I know she is still quite young but she is beautiful and so kind, but she needs help like I needed help. I want to pledge my support and I hope that she will make all the right decisions that will make her mum proud of her like my mum has been proud of me. Anne I hope you will accept me for who I am. I love your daughter and I want to be with her for the rest of my life. We are who we are and we were destined to meet in my opinion and so I gave her a friendship ring to show my love for her. I want that ring to be worn on her left hand not her right hand and I’m asking her to do that this evening. With your permission I want to steal her from you and to love and protect her and to ask her to be my life partner. Kim can I move the ring? Will you show the world that you are committed to someone and that this someone is me?’

I looked around the table at smiling faces and I couldn’t speak. I just looked into Frankies eyes as she gently removed the ring and offered my left hand.

‘Kim will you marry me?’

‘But I can’t. Not like this. I am neither girl nor boy and I can’t give you children or make our mothers become grandmothers.’

‘Let me do the worrying and you focus on the next few months. I hope one day soon that you will marry me. I want you to be my wife and we will do so many things together so don’t worry, what will be will be.’

I nodded and we kissed without considering we had an audience around us who all then surrounded us and it was clear that this was a ring of approval.

Mum hugged me and pulled in Em to us whispering ‘I’m so sorry for neglecting you. Can you ever forgive me? Em, I was losing my son. Thanks so much for finding my daughter.’

There was a delay in leaving the restaurant because Bec’s had decided to order a bottle of sparkling wine and 6 glasses insisting on a toast. She said that she had been delighted to see our relationship develop and admired Frankie for the way she had come to terms with the loss of her friend Kim and moving on.

Em chipped in to lighten the mood and said we had to hurry up to set a date whilst she had the figure to fit a bridesmaid dress if she was in the frame. It was a weird experience, but I was enjoying all the fuss and I felt it necessary to say something in response. I wanted to thank all of them for the support I was receiving and that everything had happened so fast that it was hard to understand where it might end. I had never thought about meeting anybody and forming a relationship and felt destined to being a disappointment to mum, failing my exams and not being employable. I thanked Em for coaxing me to change my image and Bec’s for giving me the opportunity to experience life as a different person. Turning to Frankie I said that she gave me confidence in myself and was helping me to understand that I had nothing to hide from and that I should choose for myself the life that I wanted to lead and she would fully support me.

I hugged mum before we left and Bec’s said I should go with her to the railway station the following day and she would arrange cover. Then we left the restaurant and Frankie and I snuggled up in the back seat of the taxi with her mum taking the front seat. Frankie asked if I was happy and I just nodded. She seemed very happy and I just hoped we were making the right decision.

That night we chatted for ages once we had snuggled up in bed. After a while Frankie convinced me to make plans to visit dad in Italy since she thought she’d like to meet him and ask his permission. That earned her a thump on the arm. Since he ran a restaurant with his cousin and her family it was an opportunity to see where my paternal family came from and meet some of them. Frankie thought we should just focus on a one to one this trip and meet dad away from the restaurant that was less than an hour by train from Rome. She didn’t want me to have to deal with any prejudices and I agreed that we needed to ensure that dad was comfortable with how I was dressing and the decisions I needed to make in the near future. Mum had promised to contact him and gauge his reaction and hoped that he would give her chance to explain.

We fell asleep without any intimacy since it was Frankies time of the month that had started earlier in the evening during dinner. I was glad it wasn’t something I had to deal with yet Frankie hadn’t complained. I was happy just to be close to her and to comfort her as best I could. Fortunately she wasn’t in pain and she told me that her periods were light and that she didn’t suffer like most women.

Also I was conscious that her mum was in the spare room. Hopefully she was sound asleep but she was a light sleeper who deserved a good nights rest. If everything went to plan she’d be settled into her fathers apartment the next day and we’d have the freedom of Frankies apartment without risk of disturbing anybody. Plenty of time to be intimate together

Frankie was up early and I could hear her in the bathroom so I went to the kitchen to make tea. Her mum was already up and dressed and I felt a bit awkward since I’d left my dressing gown behind. She was chatty and said she was pleased to have met my mum and looked forward to seeing her again when she came back to Manchester. She also hoped that I’d persuade Frankie to be more accepting of her grandfathers old fashioned view of life and visit from time to time. Hopefully with me alongside so he could say thanks.

When Frankie appeared she looked a bit pale and she wasn’t her usual bright sparkly self. I was concerned but she said not to make a fuss since it was just cramps and she should have avoided alcohol but she had wanted to celebrate. Her warm shower had helped but she just needed some pain killers and plenty of water and her normal fresh fruit breakfast. It wasn’t something I knew about but her mum was on hand and sympathized. I never handled pain very well growing up and I’d seen a few girls at school struggle and take days off every few weeks. That seemed to be one advantage that boys have over girls not in dispute.

I took my tea to the bedroom to cool down whilst I showered and then I drank it whilst getting dressed for work. It gave them chance to talk and when I returned Frankie had some colour back in her cheeks. Hopefully she would soon recover and she insisted she was fine. She was eating a bowl of fresh fruit that looked tempting but since her mum had prepared some toast and marmalade that was adequate for me. We sat together for 10 minutes chatting about the procedure for discharge of Frankies grandfather that seemed to coincide with the time of mums train to London. Frankie decided to take me to work and then she would return to take me to the station picking up mum on the way. It all seemed to fit so I called mum to let her know.

On the way to work I told her what her mum had said to me but she said she would be polite but she wasn’t ready to forgive her grandfather until he showed a change in attitude and showed some humility. Based on her visits to see him he hadn’t changed.

Once at work Bec’s confirmed she would arrange cover for 2 hours and I agreed to sacrifice my lunch break and stay late. Frankie was on time and so was mum so we arrived at the railway station in good time. Mum had messaged dad and they’d talked a little. He confirmed that he wanted to see me but she hadn’t said that I was living and dressing as a girl only that I was due to have some medical treatment that might need his permission. It was not easy for mum to be civil to him but she had done her best.

I told mum I intended to visit him with Frankie and to try to understand why he’d never been in contact over the years since he went back to his home town and to find out for myself what kept him in Italy. Mum said it was my decision but to be careful since he was selfish and influenced by the woman he’d run off with who had worked in the restaurant and was poison as far as she was concerned. She told me that they lived in a place called Terni that was north of Rome and she gave me his address and telephone number as she hugged me and boarded the train wiping tears from her eyes as Frankie stored her bag,

The rest of the day went ok and I finished work at 6pm and took a bus back to Frankies place. She had been with her mum and grandfather until early afternoon so she had stopped by her office to deal with a few things that needed her attention. I decided to prepare a nice salad dinner since it was a nice evening and I thought we could sit on the balcony to eat until the sun went down. I bought all the ingredients at a small store close to the apartment including some sliced chicken breast and blue cheese sauce that was my favorite. I hoped Frankie had similar taste buds. We certainly liked the taste of each other. The store still had fresh bread so I spoiled us with a ciabatta with olives. I thought I ought to stock up on fresh fruit that she said helped her period pains and selected blueberries, raspberries and strawberries. I was tempted to buy ice cream but opted for crème fraiche instead that I hoped was healthier.

Half way through preparing the salad I got a call to my i-phone and I saw it was the number mum had given me for dad.

‘Hi son, do you know who this is?’

‘Hi. It’s dad isn’t it. I can tell by the Italian accent.’
‘Well I thought I’d got an English accent since I was born and raised in the UK.’

‘Well you sound Italian.’

‘I guess it’s because I’ve been over here so long and mostly we speak in Italian apart from when we are serving customers of course.’

‘Why are you calling? Has mum asked you to contact me?’

‘Yes she called earlier and I just took a break to call you. Long time no hear.’

‘Well you left us and you never got in touch or gave me your number and you hurt mum so much I never felt like talking to you.’

‘I understand son but your mum was pretty angry with me and she didn’t like me contacting you. We were in dispute over the business and we went through a very difficult period. Whatever I said or tried to do she rejected it.’

‘Well you ran away with another woman dad and it was a friend of hers.’

‘I’m sorry son but mum and I had a lot of pressure and I was going crazy. We were falling out every day at work and then when we came home. It was like 24 hour a day crap.’

‘But mum had to deal with the mess and look after me. It wasn’t fair.’

‘Look Kim that’s not quite right we dealt with the business closure and settlement together through lawyers and your mum didn’t want you to visit or for me to pay for airfares for you to spend vacation here with me.’
‘Son there is a lot that you don’t know and mum suggested you want to meet and talk. She says you have something important to discuss with me. Is everything OK are you ill?’

‘No but I do want to talk to you because I need to understand what happened when I was young and why I’m different to other boys.’

‘What do you mean different? Is that because you are half Italian?’

‘No it’s not that. It would be better if we met rather than talk over the phone.’

‘Son why are you talking like that you don’t sound right.’

‘I just prefer to see you rather than talk over the phone.’

‘That’s not what I meant your voice is quite high pitched. Have you got a throat or chest problem?’

‘Sort of but that’s just part of it.’

‘Look I’ll try to arrange something and come over to the UK as soon as I can.’

‘Dad I would like to come to Terni to meet you and I’ll come with a girlfriend and stay over a weekend or something. Are you far from Rome?’

‘No it’s only 40 minutes on the train but I’ll pick you up. So you have a girlfriend? Is it serious?’

‘Sort of.’
‘Well by all means come over I can arrange for you to stay in a friends place attached to our restaurant. When just give me an idea please and I’ll get some cover.’

‘I need to sort things first. I will go get my passport and things from mum. I’m up in Manchester now and I was staying with Em until recently.’

‘Oh so you have your own place. Great.’

‘No I’m staying with Frankie.’

‘Is he your mate then?’

‘No Frankie is a girl. That’s who is coming with me to Italy.’

‘Oh a fast mover. Look do you mind if I go since the restaurant is busy. Can we talk later or sometime tomorrow.’

‘OK I’ll call you if you send me a message. Are you on WhatsApp?’

‘Yes or you can Skype.’

‘OK I’ll be in touch. Bye.’

.Bye son. It was great to chat at long last. I’m sorry we lost contact. Let me know the cost of the flights I’m happy to pay.’

‘Night dad. I just hope I don’t disappoint you.’
I heard the line disconnect as the words left my mouth.

Summer With Em by Julie D Cole

Chapter 38

Just a short chapter to answer a few questions I hope.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

My mind was racing after the call and I tried to focus on what had been said whilst finishing preparation of the salad. Should I have been more truthful about my situation? I’d left him with the impression that I was a regular guy with a girlfriend who I had set up home with. Would he be even more shocked when he met me than I dare hope?

Frankie broke my chain of thoughts sending a message to say she was on her way home. I just had time to freshen up and change into fresh shorts and a top. I chose a bright peach colored one that definitely accentuated my femininity exposing some bust. It was a soft lightweight material that was a little transparent and my white bra was evident so I changed it to a pink one that seemed ok.

I had some cosmetics and perfumes on the drawer unit so I picked out the part bottle of Tiffany perfume that Em had given me together with 3 others she didn’t need, applying a little as sparingly as I could. I followed the advice she’d given me applying it first of all to my cleavage and on my wrists then some behind my earlobes as she had shown me. It had a flowery scent that Em said was summery.

I was changing the shade of my lipstick when I heard Frankie open the front door. I rushed excitedly to greet her. I wanted to tell her my great news about my conversation with dad.

‘Wow don’t you look cute? Meeting anybody special?’

‘Yes she just arrived.’

‘What’s all this you made dinner for us? How kind I could get used to this. You seem in a good mood, so excited. What’s happened?’
‘I’m bursting to tell you. My dad called me a short while ago. He was so nice and I wanted to just hug him. He thought something was wrong and he offered to come to the UK to see me. I’m so relieved I thought he didn’t want me but he does. I told him about you and that I was living with you here. He seemed so proud of me.’

‘You mean you told him everything over the phone? About how you have found your true self?’

‘Well not that no. I thought that would be better face to face. He was so happy for me that we are together.’

‘Did you tell him I’d asked to to marry me and that you’ve said yes.’

‘Well no I thought you wanted to ask his permission first.’

‘So really we shouldn’t get too excited yet. Did you tell him we wanted to visit him?’

‘Yes and he was delighted. He said he’d arrange for us to stay in his friends hotel next door to his family restaurant. Well my family restaurant too. I’m half Italian after all.’

‘Yes a beautiful Italian girl given an English boys name by mistake. Perhaps we should give you an Italian name instead for the future when we do a name change. Would you take my name when we are married?’

‘I can’t can I? Don’t you have to take my name according to the law because of my birth sex.’

‘Not these days and anyway. It is our choice. It is between the participants even if members of the same sex marry. So it’s normal. You just take my family name if we agree. Don’t you quite fancy the name Mrs Di Angelo?’

‘Yes if it’s legal. Mum changed our name back to her family name after dad left. She said it was so she had full control of the business whilst it was sold as her compensation and to protect her whilst she dealt with creditors. My name actually was registered as Christian Rossi. Mum always liked Kimberley.

‘But mine is of Italian origin. Why not switch back to Christian Rossi and then you can be Christian De Marco. My ancestors are all British as far as I know but sometime or other an Italian ended up infiltrating.’

‘Well De Marco doesn’t sit very well with Kim but I do like Christian. I guess it will be shortened to Chris or Chrissie that I like. Are you sure you want to marry me? This is all happening a bit fast for me.’

‘I’ve asked and you said yes. I don’t go back on my word.’

‘I’m sorry but I just needed to be sure you meant it. I’m not exactly the ideal partner for you. I just wish I’d been born normal like other people.’

‘You are normal. Nothing is black and white as grandad likes to make out. We are all a mixture. Do you mind if we carry on chatting after I get changed and maybe over something to eat since you’ve gone to the trouble?’

When Frankie reappeared she was in shorts and a striped shirt top that suited her. She always looked smart whatever she wore. She’d taken a quick shower and removed her make-up and she looked fresh and relaxed. Something about her made me want to kiss her passionately but I fought off the urge.
We sat on the balcony and Frankie served us from the salad bowl whilst complementing me on my efforts. She had opened a bottle of wine and two bottles of Perrier water and quickly quenched her thirst whilst I took a sip from my bottle.

‘Now my love back to our conversation. When did you say we’d visit Italy? Any idea?’

‘No first step is to go to London for my passport and other documents. I have three days off this weekend. Would you be able to take time off if we go together? Sooner the better for me. I aim to get all this sorted by the end of August.’

‘It’s not a bad idea since your dad might have more time available if we get over there during August. It’s vacation time in Italy. I’ll get some train tickets and a hotel sorted in London for this weekend. We can leave Friday evening and return Sunday afternoon if seats are available. I quite fancy staying in Kensington and taking you shopping in the High Street and even across to Notting Hill. We might meet the cast of your favorite film.’

‘We should be so lucky the book shop doesn’t exist.’

‘Don’t spoil it. We’ll look anyway. You might have missed it.’

We chatted until the sky turned red and the sun set and talked about a wide variety of things including Frankies idea that I might ask my father for his approval to consider a referral to a consultant who specialises in gender identity disorder.’

I never expected to be able to discuss a subject like that so rationally and clearly Frankie was well informed on the subject. The more she explained the more I understood that my feelings and the ease at which I’d adopted a female personality were explainable. By the time we were loading the dishwasher I was fully primed to head to London and we’d booked a hotel and reserved seats on the train to St Pancras. I’d agreed to meet mum at home and then we’d all go to Covent Garden so I could introduce Frankie to a popular venue and find a show if seats were available.

I contacted Em before we went to bed who was relaxing with Bec’s. I was glad I’d left them to some privacy and they were perfect for each other. I owed them both so much. I explained that I’d chatted to dad and she asked if I’d told mum. I had of course that pleased her. I knew that mum was more hurt than she made out but it was a bridge we both needed to cross.

Frankie and I showered together before cuddling up in bed and she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. I lay awake for an hour or so thinking of how I might explain my situation to dad. He was sure to be disappointed since he wanted an all action boy good at sport and all things male.

Eventually Frankie pulled me close to her and wrapped her arms and legs around me and I felt so secure and happy. How had I got here from the abyss I’d stared into just a few months ago? I felt wanted and happy and much more comfortable living this new life in Manchester.

………………………………………………………………

Summer With Em Chapter 39

By Julie D Cole

Friday just couldn’t come quick enough for me. Whilst I didn’t much want to leave Manchester at least my visit home would be short and we were booked in a hotel in Kensington so I was unlikely to meet anyone I knew. Staying in a hotel was another first for me.

I asked Frankies opinion about what she thought I ought to wear and whether or not I needed to stay in girl mode or not. It was left up to me but Frankie did say that she wasn’t much into boys and she’d change the booking to single beds if that was my decision. I smiled since I knew she was teasing but my decision was made.

The journey down to London was fairly uneventful apart from a few glances in my direction across the carriage from time to time that seemed strange. It wasn’t like I was flashing anything or even glamourous. I had resisted shorts and a top even though it was a hot day since I thought this might be inappropriate for a Kensington Hotel just a stones throw from Prince William and Kate. Not that they’d invite us round for tea or anything.

We took a taxi from St Pancras Station to the hotel to avoid the underground that I didn’t fancy. It had been scary enough traveling as a young student never mind us standing out as two women with weekend bags.

We were lucky to find a cab fairly quickly with a friendly driver who cut through the back streets that was quite exciting especially for Frankie. She paid and tipped him as he dropped us outside the front door. A porter greeted us and took our bags.

To the right of the hotel entrance as we stood on the steps was Kensington High Street that was busy as usual and to the left I could see Kensington Park and the Royal Albert Hall where lots of big stars appear. I’d wished I’d been able to see Adele when she’d appeared there a few years back. She was very popular with girls at school and they knew I was a big fan too. I hadn’t dared admit I would have liked to go see her with them so sadly I missed out when one of them managed to buy tickets with parents help as a birthday treat. They never stopped talking about it for weeks. Why was I so shy at school?

Frankie had booked an Executive room with a King Size bed and after the porter dropped our bags in the room she turned and hugged me and pulled me onto it to test the comfort level. Just perfect and it seemed wider than it was long and the pillows were soft and fluffy.

We quickly freshened up so we could have a walk out and I sent mum a message to say we’d arrived. She did seem a little put out that we opted for the hotel rather than stay at home but I wouldn’t have been comfortable with the two of us in my small bed or with mum in the next room.

We walked out towards the park and headed towards Kensington Palace and then across Kensington Gardens to look at the Princess Diana memorial fountain. I hung onto Frankies arm as we stood there in silence for a few minutes to reflect on the pain she’d gone through before her tragic death. She was so beautiful and she seemed to be in her prime after such an unhappy time with Charles.

It suddenly registered how lucky I was and that I should enjoy every moment of my blossoming relationship with Frankie and my new life in the North of England where our relationship seemed accepted. I didn’t want to turn back. I just hoped dad would understand when I met him.

We were quiet for a while as we walked slowly back across the park towards the Royal Albert Hall stopping at the Prince Albert Memorial. Another monument that was in memory of the lasting love between Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. What a love story and so many children. It was clear to everybody that she never got over his death and she outlived him by many years.

Would Frankie and I have a long relationship like that or was it destined for failure because of my sexual confusion. It was unlikely we’d have children and there were also those who thought that she was too old for me. Em and Bec’s seem fine and I hoped that mum had been won over but Frankies mum hardly knew me. Her grandfather seemed to be a grumpy bigot who would likely as not influence Frankies mum now he was out of hospital and she was living with him to look after him until he was fully recovered.

It was 6-30 pm already and lots of people were arriving at the Royal Albert Hall since there was a performance on. It was a ballet so no chance to see any big stars. I’d have liked to have a look around inside but not to be without entry tickets to the show so we headed back to the hotel and then further along Kensington High Street. After walking for 20 minutes or so Frankie pointed to a Spanish Tapas bar down a small side street and suggested we ordered some Tapas rather than try to find a restaurant or eat in the hotel. I didn’t take any persuading.

It was a beautiful warm evening so we sat in the open looking out towards the High Street bathed in the evening sunshine. The bar area was busy with lots of office workers clearly enjoying themselves after work before they headed home.

Lot’s of young women were sitting together in a group ordering bottles of Prosecco and Spanish Rioja wine. There were few men about so maybe they preferred the pub culture. Some music was playing across the street and upstairs above us there was a restaurant now filling with customers so it was a really nice atmosphere. Some of the girls started chatting to Frankie and then to me.

I was embarrassed at first and I felt awkward even though I worked with several women in Manchester. I felt like everybody was staring at me and watching my every move but Frankie took my hand and said it was normal for girls to people watch and to just look back and smile that would make them look away.

I was surprised to find it worked and my sensitivity to the staring reduced. I became more relaxed and comfortable however I felt that I still didn’t blend in very well with the women frequenting this Tapas bar. When I looked across at the group of women they were behaving in a loutish way like young men and some were dressed provocatively that surprised me since they’d been working.

Frankie had the answer of course advising that it was casual Friday. I doubted I would want to dress down even if I found a job in London sometime in the future. It seemed a good reason to stay in Manchester and Em, Bec’s and Frankie always seemed to dress smartly even on Fridays.

This group were similar age group to me so maybe they thought I was overdressed and certainly Frankie also dressed her age and was very smart for a Friday night in town. They were getting louder as the evening passed due to the alcohol consumption. If they were representative of modern women I was not sure it was what I wanted.

They put me in mind of some of the girls at school who I’d known. Would they behave like this now and how would I have turned out? I guess I had been lucky to get the chance to leave London and stay with Em.

Frankie settled the bill and decided we should go back to the hotel to enjoy the facilities. There was free access to the Executive Lounge with its comfortable chairs and she suggested we had coffee and then enjoy a relax in the oversize bath in our room.

I probably showed my embarrassment but at least I managed to nod. It sounded a great idea to soak in a bubble bath and it was a rare opportunity. Life these days seemed too rushed to find time to relax for everybody. I never had chance for much luxury growing up and I didn’t want to miss the chance.

We had a very pleasant time in the Executive Lounge sipping our Cappuccinos and chatting to the staff. It wasn’t busy and we guessed most guests were sight seeing so we were treated like royalty with non-stop attention. The manager suggested that we tip the concierge if we wanted theatre ticket for the following night and recommended to see Beautiful the Carol King Musical. I was sure mum would like it since it was music from her era when she met and fell in love with dad.

If only they’d stayed together maybe I would have been happier growing up and not as lonely. But c’est la vie who cares. Here I am in a happier place than most people even dream of and for now at least in a friendship that gives me butterflies in my stomach.

We headed to our room and Frankie took charge and prepared our bath. She used the complementary luxury spa gift set provided by the hotel. I undressed first and used one of the soft white dressing gowns to cover myself. I stepped into the warm suds whilst Frankie was undressing and I switched on the jets to create a wonderful foam to cover us. The bath was oval shaped with plenty of room for the both of us and with the soft background music I lay and closed my eyes. Frankie produced two glasses filled with Prosecco from the refrigerator and we relaxed and chatted for at least an hour about all sorts of things topping up with warm water from time to time.

As well as the niceties soon the main topic was our forthcoming trip to meet dad and hopefully his side of the family that I had never met. I was nervous about meeting them since I knew little about them. They’d never visited the UK and maybe they never approved of mum.

I had agreed with Mum that it was important dad met me before I did anything rash and she was obviously concerned about my future so she wanted him to see the change in me. Frankie felt it was important too since she thought it was sensible to have both parents consent so I could seek a referral to a specialist clinic.

The aroma of the bath products lingered as we snuggled up closely in the giant bed and by now I knew how to respond to Frankie such that she took up her favorite position so she quickly came to organism that carried on until she felt completely spent.

We soon fell to sleep so the next thing I remembered was her nudging me to wake me up and to let me know she’d made us some tea before we showered and went to the Executive lounge for breakfast. She looked beautiful and she had a broad smile and a glint in her eye as she leaned forward to apologize for her selfishness but in truth something had happened for me too so I was quite happy.

It was a rare treat to have a full English breakfast served in a hotel so we took full advantage. Everything was freshly cooked and served on warm plates. We tried to eat in moderation that was difficult but since we might not eat for a while we had a good excuse. We were going home to collect my documents and copy things I needed from my desk top computer. We would skip lunch and then go out to Covent Garden with mum and hopefully see the show that was recommended.

Frankie met with the concierge after breakfast and the good news was he arranged for us to buy 3 tickets for the evening performance through his contacts. Mum was delighted when I told her and she suggested we aim to take a pre-show snack at a Victorian style wine bar on the lower floor of the Covent Garden market. We would be able to watch impromtu performances by local musicians and actors whilst eating.

The tube journey to the local station near home was quick and since it was Saturday and we found seats that avoided being face to face with other travelers or any accidental physical contact. I did find it was much more awkward travelling whilst presenting as female and avoided as much eye contact as possible other than with Frankie.

I did have a weird experience whilst we were in the queue to buy our travel tickets. A man was getting a bit too close for comfort and ‘accidently’ bumped into me a couple of times before I gave him a look. I was sure that he had his hands in his trouser pockets and was stroking himself. The lump was too obvious.

Luckily I didn’t meet any of our neighbors as we approached mums place. I was sure that mum wouldn’t have said anything to anybody about me other than I’d gone to stay with Em. I didn’t see any of my old school friends as we walked the street either that was a blessing so there was no fear of any confrontations. I didn’t want to hang around too long.

I might even be a new person and even married by the next time I’d be visiting. Hopefully that would be to help mum pack up to move North where she’d be closer to Em and me. It was a much safer place to live and I’d worried about mum living on her own with so much crime around London. I was sure she would be happier in Manchester and she was very sociable. Em would be around too and who knows she might meet someone.

Everything I needed from my computer was loaded to two memory sticks in less than an hour and then Frankie helped me delete everything else. I put my birth certificate, passport and medical card in my bag so we were good to go. I looked through my wardrobes and drawers. I didn’t feel I needed any of my clothes since I had more modern and more stylish ones now at Em’s and at Frankies place. I had changed a lot in such a short time and whilst I still felt conspicuous when I went out the pleasure that a female wardrobe gave me was increasing day by day. It was a wonderful feeling.

I had several framed photographs of me at various stages of me growing up but now I looked closely at them I could see just as much girl as boy. No wonder I was ridiculed and bullied growing up. I guess lots of boys don’t really fully develop male characteristics until their mid-teens. I was later than anybody in my circle of school friends.

I decided to just take one of the framed photos that was a professional print. I liked it because I had my hair over my ears and past over my collar at the back. It was the fashion at the time and it was the one photo where I felt it gave a true reflection of me. Somewhere in between the boys and girls and different from the rest.

We were a strange bunch at school and I guess half of the class stayed together for several years. But none were close friends to me.

Mum was with us on our return journey to Covent Garden and we had 2 changes to make. I was glad I hadn’t decided on a dress or skirt as we went up and down the long escalators as I watched several young women having to prevent being on display.

Mum seemed so happy to see us and she was so excited that we’d booked seats to see the show. She didn’t seem to have any objection to me presenting as female. She took my arm once or twice as Frankie walked in front and whispered that she hoped I was very happy and that I looked more relaxed and confident. In truth I was and Frankie had been a great help. I told her all about the hotel skipping some of the detail of our relaxing bath together.

We looked around the market before heading down to the courtyard in front of the bar where we had a table booked inside in just over an hours time. We found seats and ordered glasses of wine to relax watching whatever show would be taking place. A small group of musicians were setting up in the corner of the courtyard close to the staircase from ground level. They sang several songs from two or three musicals including Les Miserable and the Phantom of the Opera. They were really good and it seemed they were all at music school together. I wished I’d been blessed with musical talent. I seemed to have no ability at all. When I said that to Frankie she just reminded me I’d saved her grandfathers life. Every song received applause and quite a crowd was looking down into the courtyard all around the perimeter above us.

I went up to the artists to place our tips in their containers and a young singer who’d done most of the singing winked and smiled at me and handed me a card. He said that he hoped I’d come back again. He told me the location of their regular haunt and I suppose I blushed and just nodded in acknowledgement.

A violinist appeared from nowhere and made ready to play but sadly we had to move to our table to eat.

It was quieter inside the restaurant area where we had a cosy corner next to an old fireplace. People must have been much smaller when the inn was built and I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like in those days or why it was below ground level.

The style was certainly from a different era and very quaint. Since it was quiet mum was able to chat to us to discuss my plans to visit dad and what I would say to him. She also wanted to know when I’d be making an appointment with my doctor.

I told her that we were visiting dad over the bank holiday weekend that was two weeks away, the last week of August that was also the last week of the Italian summer holiday. I reminded her that Frankie would be with me. I explained that I would be dressing gender neutral for the journey to avoid difficulties at passport control but I’d be dressing en femme the rest of the time. She was not sure how dad would react,

Summer With Em - Chapter 40
By Julie D Cole

Mum was a bit quiet through our meal that was ideal for pre theatre and not too heavy. I tried to keep her as relaxed as possible by asking about Carole King and who she was. I’d never seen her in the charts.

Mum laughed and said I used to dance to lots of her music from an early age and she had written dozens of hit songs for famous artists. I would soon recognize them when the show started. I’d thought we were going to see her perform but the show was about her career. A musical about her life.

Frankie knew all about her and smiled then she started singing ‘Will you still love me tomorrow’ and I had to say to shush before other customers complained. I recognized the song even though Frankies rendition wasn’t likely to pass any talent show auditions.

Mum said that she used to sing ‘Take Good Care of My Baby’ to me every night when she tucked me into bed and that she’d written a big hit for Aretha Franklin called ‘Natural Woman’ and even The Beatles had a song written by her. Dad had bought mum an LP record that she still had at home that made her famous in her own right.

‘Wow mum. Dad made her famous by buying her LP?’ I remembered seeing it but not in recent years. At least she hadn’t thrown it in the garbage when dad left.

That lightened the mood and we enjoyed the rest of our meal chatting about other music mum liked in her era. We were in relaxed mood by the time we were ready to leave for the theatre that was just a short walk from Covent Garden so we arrived in good time to look around and have a drink in the bar.

We purchased a show programme for mum but she passed it to me to read first so I could understand more about Carole King and her music. The production had been very popular so far with lots of demand and the venue at the Aldwych theatre was just perfect as a location. We were lucky to get tickets thanks to the staff at our hotel.

I saw that the show had been on Broadway with a young American artist in the lead role. In the UK they had a British girl in the lead role. I commented that she was very beautiful that caused Frankie to laugh because she said the name of the show was ‘Beautiful’ in case I hadn’t noticed.

I didn’t recognize any of the UK cast but most seemed to be regular performers in major shows in London. Not that I was a theatre buff or had much knowledge of theatreland. With so many shows around London I expected we must have a production line of talent. There I was working at a leisure centre with no talent that I know of that caused me to sigh a little.

As I flicked through the programme I looked up occasionally at the surroundings. How exciting it must be for people of my age to perform on stage in these venues. At school I used to hide when pupils were selected for plays or dancing displays. I would never stand out in a crowd so I never got selected for anything and I was easily embarrassed. But since staying with Em and then meeting Frankie I seemed a lot more confident. Maybe I would have been happier growing up as a girl.

It soon because apparent to me that Carole King had been destined for success from an early age and that she’d been married to another music artist. Together they were churning out popular songs in a wonderful era for music. No wonder mum liked her.

The show was fantastic and I did recognize lots of the songs and the audience were transfixed as I was. Eventually some stood up and clapped and danced with the aisles filling up quickly. It was a long time since I’d seen mum smile so much and she reached out to encourage me to dance with her and sing the choruses. It was a great show and there were several 3 curtain calls before the audience started to head for exits.

Mum was still singing as we got outside and she had a smile from ear to ear as we stood a while to let crowds disperse. Frankie insisted she took a taxi home which she paid for rather than go on the underground and we hugged for a while. As she got into the taxi she wished me good luck for my trip to see dad.

Frankie and I walked to Leicester Square where we would take the underground back to Kensington High Street to go our hotel. Everything was alive with lots of visitors from all sorts of places by the look of it. I’d lived in London all my life yet never really had chance to visit the sights other than as a small child with dad. Funny how that memory came back as if a switch had been flicked.

I pointed to the Odeon Cinema in Leicester Square. ‘I remembered dad buying me a hot dog and a Coca Cola drink from a street vendor outside and then sitting on his shoulders watching lots of people arriving. He said some were very famous.

There was a big ship on the posters all around the square. It was a film about two young people who met and fell in love in the midst of tragic circumstances. I suppose we were very lucky.

Frankie smiled and spoke ‘Yes it was a big movie with beautiful music. I remember the lovers at the front of the ship. The biggest liner ever built in the UK. It hit an iceberg in the North Atlantic.’

‘Yes dad said it was about a freak accident over a hundred years ago that killed hundreds of people. I expect people blamed it on the ice caps melting and Global warming.’

‘Not in 1912 even though the ship had coal-firing to drive the propellers with black smoke belching out of the funnels. I suppose it was just at the end of the industrial revolution but one theory is that it was to do with the earth, moon and sun being in alignment affecting sea currents. So lots of icebergs broke free.’

‘I guess their two bodies were aligned as well and there was a strong current between them.’

‘Very funny Ha Ha.’

‘Does that mean another disaster is imminent? We have icebergs breaking free because of climate change don’t we? Were the earth, sun and moon in alignment when we met? Is that what brought us together?’

‘We should check. Stranger things happen but probably it’s just fate. We are all on a long road and there are many twists and turns and forks in the road and crossroads. We just meet others doing the same thing and the lucky ones meet people they connect with and travel together.’

‘I hope we stay together. Maybe the visit to Italy will be a disaster. Maybe dad will go crazy.’

‘Yes maybe it will cause problems but it’s not going to stop us is it?’

‘No. I want to see him more than ever now. We’d spent a full day together just the two of us. I remember we visited Trafalgar Square, Hyde Park and Buckingham Palace. I wish I had lots of happy memories rather than nothing.’

We stood for a while in silence and I gripped Frankies arm. Funny that she seemed so strong and confident whilst I had always felt vulnerable and insecure.

‘Penny for your thoughts Kim.’

‘I was just thinking back. I’d no thoughts of that day I spent with my dad until now. It all comes flooding back. I want to cry. It’s a strange feeling. I miss him. I can picture his smile and his curly black hair and red scarf. He lifted me up onto his shoulders so easily. It’s just like it was yesterday and we had lots of fun. Yet he just disappeared from my life soon afterwards. Why?’

‘Things happen Kim. All families have good and bad times. Separation is common these days.’

‘But I loved him. He never came back. I used to cry myself to sleep at night but I daren’t tell mum. She’d get upset and angry if I asked about him.’

‘Well let’s hope your visit to see him gives you chance to see him smile. I’m sure he will still love you and regret leaving you behind but then what would have your mum have done?’

‘But look at me now. He might be ashamed of me. Am I being stupid? Am I doing the right thing?’

‘Well in my opinion you can’t really move on in your life until you do. You’ve got a chance to meet him and if he sees what I see he will pick you up and probably squeeze the life out of you.’

‘He’ll hate me that much.’

‘No you ninny he’ll not want to let you go.’

‘I wish.’

‘Have confidence and give him chance. He left a little boy behind and now he’ll see that he’s missed out. He’s the father of a beautiful young woman.’

‘I’m not sure we should go.’

‘Too late we’re going even if I have to drag you there. What have you got to lose?’

Summer With Em Chapter 41

By Julie D Cole

Back at the hotel we showered and snuggled up in bed together. It had been a great day and we were just happy to relax and chat about my feelings and any regrets about leaving London. It was a no brainer really and in truth since I didn’t like the changes that had been taking place as the population expanded in such a short space of time. School had been a problem for me with threats and bullying rife with so many different cultures now resident.

Frankie reminded me that dad had moved there from Italy and he had done ok for himself and met mum but it had been a struggle for them, especially after I was born and his family couldn’t help out since they had their own restaurant business to run in Italy. I’d asked mum why we didn’t move there but I never got a straight answer. Em didn’t know either. I spoke a little bit of Italian thanks to dad but I had forgotten most of what I learned.

I told Frankie that I owed her a lot for taking me under her wing and people in Manchester seemed a lot more friendly. I didn’t want to go back to college after the holidays even in Manchester. I felt more mature and I had some decisions to make and I hoped she would help me. It had been a relief to visit without any disagreements with mum and I’d avoided meeting with neighbors or fellow students from school and college. It was a relief.

Now all of a sudden I wanted to share so much with Frankie about my memories of dad that were happy ones. It was as if a door behind which all my early year memories had been unlocked. Maybe I’d shut out everything and had resented the fact that he’d left me without any explanation. Maybe I hadn’t been the boy he wanted to grow up with ambition to play football for Italy. As a teenager he’d played football for Lazio or was it Roma? Frankie wouldn’t let me dismiss talking about my father. She wanted to know as much about him as possible before we met him and she was introduced. Sadly I was young when he left so I didn’t have much to tell her and he and mum had been so busy that I didn’t have many stories to tell.

Frankie kept me as positive as she could tickling me from time to time. We giggled and eventually changed the subject chatting about some of the things that had happened through the day and some of the stares from passers-by that we’d had to put up with when we held hands and kissed from time to time. Frankie said it was just envy and lots of girls were walking about hand in hand or arm in arm. She had wanted to stick out her tongue or better still give them a middle finger.

We were awake early so we showered and packed before going to the Executive lounge for breakfast. It was much better than going downstairs to the restaurant to eat since the buffet items were fresh and we had more privacy without any risk of others listening to our chatter.

We checked out and took a taxi to the railway station so that we were in good time to catch our train back to Manchester. The station was busy and filled with overseas visitors and weekenders returning home. Luckily we had seats reserved in a low price ‘weekend first’ carriage with a table and a trolley service for drinks and snacks. Even a free wi-fi service that was helpful.

It was a beautiful morning and I was happy to look out of the window at the countryside whilst Frankie was sending messages on her phone. She was sorting some things out with her mum related to her grandfather. When she was finished she told me that he was being a pain so Frankie had agreed that her mum should take a break at home and leave the care-worker cum housekeeper they’d hired.

Frankie was laughing when she explained what was happening and that her grandfather was angry and sulking because he thought that the care worker was too bossy and he wanted her mum on hand because he was scared to be left alone with the care worker. What he didn’t like was that he was gay and quite muscular so he daren’t complain. He was doing as he was told otherwise if he didn’t make an effort to get out of bed he’d be lifted out, undressed and carried naked to the bath or the shower then dried and dressed and made to sit in the lounge doing a series of exercises from time to time that he hated.

When we got back into Manchester Em was at the railway station to meet us from the train. It was agreed that I’d go to her place whilst Frankie went to meet her mum and grandfather. She intended to drive her mum home and collect me later. It gave me chance to chat with Em and I wanted us to spend some time together because so much had already happened in my life since she’d invited me to stay with her.

We hugged for a while and we then locked arms and headed to the car park to find her car. She told me how much I’d changed and how confident and happy I’d become. She insisted to take a photo of me with the busy station as a backdrop and then she showed it to me. I did look completely feminine with a fresh application of make-up that I’d applied en-route. A bit difficult on a fast train in the UK even though they are designed to travel at high speed. Then she flicked through her phone files and produced the photo she;d taken when I first arrived to Manchester.

‘See the change in you. We’ve found the real Kim. I’m so glad you accepted my invite. Your mum must be so proud. Did you have a good time?’

‘Just perfect thanks. I was really nervous about going home but nobody saw me as far as I know. I suppose I kept my head down most of the time and avoided eye contact. Well certainly whilst I was close to home.’

‘Your mum told me how much she enjoyed being with you as a daughter and she regrets not dealing with your problems when you were young. She has failed you miserably in her opinion and she has lost out too. It’s as if she has been punished,’

‘But why she always looked after me. I love her so much.’

‘She always wanted a daughter and she has realized one slipped through her fingers in front of her eyes.’

‘But I never dressed or behaved like this until I came to Manchester. I was in a state of confusion because I wasn’t like other boys and it was hard. I was approached by other boys several times and one actually pressed me against my locker and kissed me. I was shocked and not at all attracted to him. He was bigger than me but then most boys at school were.’

‘So did you report him? Did you tell your mum?’

‘No I was in shock and he threatened me. He tried to say it was a bet but I didn’t believe him. Eventually he left our school that was a big relief.’

‘Your mum knew something was wrong so I suggested she let me talk to you. Then we had the idea of you getting away for a while during your summer break.’

‘You saw something in me that nobody else saw. Why? Mum, dad, teachers, school colleagues just saw me as a problem child who had not developed properly who might be gay. I was lost and I was living a miserable life.’

‘Yes your mum and I chatted a lot about your lack of development and because I mentioned I have friends in the LBGT community who had similar problems growing up your mum took up my offer to look after you through the summer and find you a job.’

‘So you both had a plan before I arrived?’

‘Not exactly. However as soon as I saw you at the station I saw how much you’d changed. I could see a niece rather than a nephew and you were not much younger than me and looking quite grown up.’

‘Are you saying I’m effeminate?’

‘No more like feminine.’

.But I was dressed as a boy.’

‘Lots of girls do. Didn’t you ever get mistaken for a girl or questioned when you entered the Mens bathrooms?’

‘I got some strange looks I suppose but I used to hurry into a stall in the bathroom. I hated using the urinals. I was small so men would look down over my shoulder.’

‘Did you ever have problems at the toilet? I everything in working order?’

‘I usually sit. It’s easier.’

‘But mens bathroom are awful aren’t they? Are there enough stalls?’

‘Yes they are awful and sometimes just one stall.’

‘So how do you manage now dressed like this?’

‘I hold on or I use the Ladies Bathroom like I do at work.’

‘So you seem very comfortable now as a young woman. Are you happier?’

‘It’s like I suddenly woke up from a nightmare. I love life in Manchester and I am so happy living with Frankie. She is so kind to me and accepts me as I am.’

‘Yes you’ve helped her a lot too. It’s not easy when someone close commits suicide and you feel you could have prevented it by stepping in.’

‘She has some problems with her grandfather but it looks like her mum has realized she has to be firm with him and stand up to his bullying ways. He’ll soon learn now.’

‘So have you thought about what you will say to your father when you meet? Your mum is a little worried. She thought about going with you but that’s nor sensible.’

‘I’m going to let dad see me like this. I just have to take care through the airports and dress appropriately since I have a male passport.’

‘So you’re travelling in drag then?’

‘Yes I will have to deepen my voice do you think?’

‘Just a bit. You’ve quickly adapted so you can probably switch back.’

‘Frankie thinks I might need some strapping since my breasts have expanded a bit.’

‘Yes a good idea. It seems ages when I took you to be measured for your first bra, Are you comfortable without one?’

‘To be honest I don’t know. It seems so natural now.’

‘What do you want to do now?’

‘I want to find some flights and then message dad.’

‘Are you going to Skype him? He’ll see a daughter.’
‘I’m going to switch off the video and tell him we have a poor signal. I prefer to meet him whilst in my travel clothes and tell him before he sees me. It’s better for Frankie too.’

We both went onto sites to find flight deals and Em bet me to it. Return flights to Rome via Amsterdam for £300 each.’

When Frankie arrived to collect me she agreed so I skyped dad and we set everything up. Frankie booked them on her credit card. Then she organised a hire car and dad said he’d fix the hotel and give us the details. He was looking forward to meeting my girlfriend.

………………………………

Summer With Em - Chapter 42

By Julie D Cole

On the way back to Frankies apartment she asked me why dad hadn’t questioned why we had not switched on the video link during the Skype call and seen how I looked all grown up. He had already told me that he had a poor internet connection since their town was in the hills and signals were weak so I’d used this as an excuse advising him to switch it off.

I didn’t need to let him see how much I’d changed over the net anyway and I was honest and told him that I preferred to do that face to face.

‘But you do realize that your voice still gives you away don’t you?’

‘When I talk I try my best to use my deeper voice sometimes but it is more comfortable if I talk like this. It’s not too girly is it? Do you think he noticed?’

‘If he did then he was being polite. Maybe he just assumes you are gay and that’s why he said nothing. He didn’t let on did he?’

‘No but he knows about you and maybe because I introduced you as my girlfriend it threw him off scent. Do you think mum has said something?’

‘No or she would have warned you I’m sure.’

‘I suppose so and I also think she’d have told Em.’

‘You seem very confident so it’s a face to face as we planned. I will be right by your side in case he flips.’

‘Thanks. I love you. It’s really appreciated but I admit I’m still scared. He might have changed a lot and he has had a new life in Italy with his girlfriend. She might hate me whether I’m Kim or Kimmie. She might think I’m chasing him for something like money or a share of his business.’

‘So my opinion. You are worrying too much. Just take it step by step. We don’t need anything and I can pay for the wedding and I already own this place and my car and everything you see. My job is secure and the business has done well. I don’t even need my grandfathers money. Not that I’ve even considered it. I only deal with him for mums sake.’

‘Yes for a woman in a mans world you’ve done well this last few years. You’ve got a team of men working for you.’

‘It wasn’t difficult they aren’t as committed as young women when they enter the job market. By the time they wake up it will be too late.’

‘I’m so proud of you. I’m just starting out and I still have to finish college.’
‘Yes I have a few years on you for sure so just let me help you. I could even arrange a job for you so you could finish college in a sandwich course and gear your final education towards a career.’

‘Everything is moving so fast. It does sound good though.’

‘Anyway, back to the subject in hand. So you can go there full of happy memories of him and just see how he is going on and how much he has changed. I suspect you fear his rejection but remember that you had years of no contact. So, you already had his rejection in my opinion and what more can he do? You have the higher moral ground here so just see how he’s turned out. Don’t let him judge you. Feel confident as the new you.’

‘But I need his support if I am going to get an appointment.’

‘Not necessarily but of course its quicker and easier if he does accept you and co-operate. Keep focused. You are doing this to let him see he had a daughter not a son. If he can’t see how happy you are then I’ll be very surprised. Compare yourself now to the person I first met. If we have to find another way or hang in for a while longer so be it. I’m not going anywhere and we can still get married. There is no law preventing us.’

That conversation meant so much to me. I felt so much stronger and calmer. I wanted dad to accept me and to see what life he had been living that kept him away so long. But on my terms not his and I had to consider both mum and now Frankie. I missed him but when we do meet I decided to follow Frankies advice. I wasn’t going to be embarrassed or humiliated.

I was soon counting the days to our trip and I had a wall chart where I crossed each day off like I used to do when Christmas was coming. Work was so much fun and I had friends around me that I never had in London. We had a few nights out and I was getting invited out and I was proud to introduce Frankie as my fiance. She didn’t insist to dominate my time and said I was much more confident.

Bec’s and Em came along sometimes and their relationship was now out in the open that was good for both of them. As departure day got closer I was planning what I should take with me to wear when I met dad and then his family. I didn’t want to wear any of the male clothes I’d arrived in to Manchester so spent time looking for more modern and slightly more androgynous alternatives. I only really needed one outfit for the outward and return journeys.

In between I aimed to wear shorts and vests or cotton tops during the day to enjoy the sunshine. I packed bra/pantie sets for each day and lightweight tennis shoes as well as a pair of mules and a pair of heels in case we went out anywhere special. I could also use my travel shoes if necessary, that were unisex. Frankie helped me select 2 lightweight dresses and a long skirt to give me options. I guess nothing was bulky or heavy so my case was only half full at best.

‘You do realize that if customs stop you then you’ll be asked why you have a case full of ladies clothes don’t you?’

‘I won’t get stopped will I? We are all in Europe so why check cases?’

‘They might think you’ve taken somebody else’s from the carousel. It happens.’

‘Well I’ll be through passport control by then won’t I. I’m not packing clothes that I won’t wear.’

‘Let me put a few things of mine on top and we’ll just say these are my clothes if you’re stopped.’

‘No it’s fine. I was thinking maybe I take a few gifts for dad and his family. Nothing special but that’s what visitors do isn’t it?’

‘Sometimes I suppose. Do you know enough about his family to take the appropriate gifts?’

‘Not really. He’s got a partner and his parents are still alive. That’s as much as I know.’

‘No problem then. What you don’t know about you don’t need to worry about.’

In the end I decided that I would pack some small gifts just in case. (I wondered where that phrase came from.)

I got more nervous as our departure date became closer. I was apprehensive but excited at the same time. The only time I’d been overseas was on a school trip 3 years before to Germany and we went by coach. This was to be my first flight and first time to Italy even though I am half Italian and can understand the language because of dad. I doubted I could hold a conversation but at least I might understand what my grandparents were saying when we would finally meet.

I hardly slept the night before our flight despite Frankie doing her best to comfort me. We had an early flight and a taxi booked for 6am for the relatively short journey to the airport. We showered and had a coffee and a biscuit whilst waiting for the taxi. Frankie helped with the binding for my chest and inspected my pony-tail that I wore lower down my head. I insisted to wear a baseball cap for the journey to hide most of my hair but even without make-up I didn’t look very masculine. Frankie said that was because I’d had my eyebrows thinned by one of the girls at work.

My travel outfit consisted of lightweight skinny jeans and a tee shirt and lightweight zipper jacket. I was flat enough because of the binding on my chest to hide my ever developing bust that had got used to wearing a bra. I removed my earrings and inserted small studs. I’d removed the nail polish from my fingers but left my toenails as they were. They looked in good condition and I was wearing unisex sneakers. I didn’t expect to have to expose my nails en-route.

I packed two small crossbody bags and a cosmetic bag in the top of my case and packed my laptop and i-pad in a new canvas crossbody laptop bag that Frankie bought me. It had small pockets for hand lotion and wipes and my sun glasses and a small pack of travel tissues. Frankie said there would be no problem at Amsterdam apart from the need to show our tickets and passports for the onward flight.

When we checked in the girl behind the desk opened my passport and looked me up and down. I could tell that she noticed I had changed a bit but nevertheless she carried on checking in our luggage before issuing out tickets. Frankie had selected Business Class and reserved two seats together to avoid anybody sitting with us. I had the window seat that was exciting.

We had priority passes so we passed through passport control without any problem other than it felt like my boobies were trying to escape. I adjusted the binding as best I could without drawing attention. I thought that was it but then we had the next challenge that was the bag security.

We were in a short line and I just had time to remove the moisturiser and placed it in a plastic bag provided then my laptop and i-pad putting them all in a tray with my laptop bag and watched them disappear into the x-ray machine.

I was directed towards what appeared to be two glass cabinets on Starship Enterprise and wondered if we were going to be beamed on board. No such luck. Frankie said were personnel x-ray machines they’d installed for added security.

‘Breath in Kimmie. I hope you are tucked in below because they can see everything with these X rays.’

‘No surely not. Oh my God.’

‘I’m just teasing don’t worry they are looking for objects not our genitalia. I don’t know what turns them on when they get home. They must see all sorts.’

As I stepped out I was pointed towards a mature woman with a large wand with a ring on the end of it. Frankie was giggling as she entered the cubicle. ‘That is to measure your size so don’t panic.’ The lady gave Frankie a look of disapproval and it must have annoyed her a bit.

‘This way miss. We just need to check with the wand as the machines are playing up. Take no notice of your friend we are here to do a job. Can you take your shoes off please and you do know that you should have removed your belt don’t you?. Please put them on the conveyor belt to go through the machine with the trays.’

So there I was with my painted toe nails fully exposed standing on a mat whilst a lady ran the wand up and down and around my body waiting for some warning or other, I now realised that I’d been directed to the womens side and men were being directed to the right cubicle with a male inspector. I felt safer and at least I didn’t blush even though the wand was within millimetres of my body parts. It was immediate panic over. Good job they didn’t check my passport or I’d have felt more embarrassed with the male inspector.

Frankie followed me to where our trays were ejected and was still smiling as we carried our trays to a table area and repacked our bags. ‘So you can’t pass as male anymore? How cute is that. Wasted my time with the binding. Do you want to take it off.’

‘I’d love to it’s not very comfortable so do you think it’s safe?’

‘Well we’re through now so are you happy to travel like that or should we buy you a bra to travel in?’

‘I’ll be OK I think.’

Let’s see when we do a bathroom check.’

‘I can’t go that side to the ladies bathroom. I’m dressed as Kim.’

‘Why not you just saw what happened. Come on.’

It was quiet so I sighed with relief. I entered a cubicle and removed my jacket and top. Frankie followed me in and removed the safety pins so the binding dropped loose. I felt the benefit immediately. Frankie touched them and stooped to blow on them. Then she kissed them gently. I shuddered but held her back.

‘Frankie be careful. We’ll be reported.’

‘OK come on I have an idea. Let me buy you a comfort bra set to travel in. It goes under a tee shirt so it will be hardly noticeable. It might hide your nipples in case you get a bit excited.’

Trust Frankie for heading directly to a Victoria Secret type shop displaying bikinis and brightly colored underwear of all types. She giggled as we searched for something suitable. The assistant must have thought we were stupid. I let Frankie choose and she insisted to purchase a set of three comfort bras in white.

I went into a small changing area. It did feel a lot more comfortable. It was much better that being constrained with binding.

‘Come on now Kimmie let’s go to the make-up counter and treat ourselves to pass a bit of time. There will be some offers on if we are lucky.’

Summer With Em Chapter 43
By Julie D Cole

We had an hour to kill before boarding so we spent it looking at cosmetics and buying dad a bottle of Malt Whisky. I wasn’t sure if he’d like that but Frankie thought it was a good idea and that he might like to share it with his father.

We bought a nice perfume for dads partner that might have been a mistake since the sales girl insisted to spray my wrist and it wasn’t cheap so it was a strong and pleasant smell that wasn’t going to wash away easily.

I needed the bathroom and couldn’t wait until we boarded so we went up to the Business Class Lounge where I thought there may be more privacy. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d visited male bathrooms so I was nervous. At least the bathroom close to the lounge were quiet compared to the public ones at ground floor level. I wasn’t about to use the urinals and I was relieved to find both cubicles were vacant. I didn’t hang around it felt wrong and I’d forgotten how mens bathrooms smelled. I should have used the ladies and risked any complaints.

I stayed long enough to freshen up a bit and was almost tempted to apply a little of a lipstick that I’d purchased. I removed my cap and tidied my pony tail loosening my hairband so it t was more comfortable. Frankie was right my eyebrows were arched and thin for a man and my soft features and lack of facial hair growth were not helping my image. It seemed difficult to go back to the boy who left London to spend summer with Em.
Nobody came in to disturb me and Frankie was waiting in the corridor with our carry-on bags.
‘Hurry up. I thought you’d met someone in there you took so long.’
‘As if. I think I’d have been more comfortable with you in the Ladies.’

By the time we reached our departure gate Business Class passengers were already boarding. There weren’t many of us and there were only 3 rows of seats 2 either side of the aisle and 3 on the other side. We were in the third row and Frankie had arranged for me to sit in the window seat so I could look out. I was very nervous since I was worried about being involved in an air crash so we held hands.

Once again I was mistaken for female by the stewardess who checked we were fastened in properly and I realised that it was because I had removed the binding and my comfort bra was providing some uplift to my boobs.
Frankie said to just be myself since we just looked like two girfriends so enjoy the experience of being spoiled. The breakfast tray appeared not long after we took off but I was more interested in looking for landmarks than eating. I was also nervous about seeing dad after so long.
The coffee was nice so I had a second cup.
We had a short flight to Amsterdam and a bit of a hike to a separate departure area for the flight to Rome. It was a bigger aeroplane than the one from Manchester so it was very comfortable. I said I’d like us to take a break there sometime because it had a great reputation for nightlife and fun.

After we landed in Rome we were first to disembark the aircraft and we were headed to passport control. The customs officer hardly lifted his head as he checked my passport so I could have been an alien for all he cared. We linked arms and headed for the carousels. I was so nervous by now that I needed the bathrooms again but this time I went with Frankie into the one marked Signore/Donne. It was busy and we had to wait in line.

It didn’t take long for our bags to come and we were soon collecting the hire car that Frankie booked and setting up the GPS. It was weird to be sitting in what is normally the drivers seat and luckily Frankie had driven left hand drive cars on previous occasions. We were soon heading to Terni to find dad and get all this over with. I couldn’t concentrate on anything so lucky I wasn’t map reader and Frankie had hired a GPS.

We were heading inland towards the mountain area and the scenery was beautiful. It was a bit scary at times with lots of heavy trucks and crazy Italian drivers breaking the speed limits nipping in and out of the traffic as if they were Riccardo Patrese just moving a place at Monza. Frankie refused to be intimidated. She would have accepted the challenge of course at home on the right side of the road.

The journey time was forecast at less than 2 hours so we expected to arrive just before dads restaurant got busy. We made good time reaching the edge of the town 20 minutes ahead of forecast. Frankie had entered the address of dads restaurant that was actually more of a Trattoria according to the sign with the friends hotel alongside. It was compact but it seemed to have character and I was looking forward to see inside.
Dads restaurant was already busy with most outside tables filled and decorated in colorful red and white check. There was a frame around to hold canvas and perspex wind breaks that clearly weren’t needed this time of year. It looked really romantic with lots of coloured lights hanging from the frames. I looked across at the entrance area and I saw dad with his back towards me. His black hair now had grey streaks but it was still curly and plentiful. He disappeared into the restaurant since he was obviously busy serving someone.

At least we had managed to park on the roadside opposite the restaurant. It was strange to see cars parked in prohibited zones and on pedestrian crossings that would never be allowed in the UK. Frankie just shrugged her shoulders and said ‘When in Rome.’
We were squeezed tightly between two luxury open top sports cars and the owners left items in that could easily have been stolen. It looked like dads restaurant was popular with the more prosperous residents of the surrounding area of Umbria. So hopefully he was having a better time than he had in London.

Frankie was first to speak. ‘So here we are at last. Your roots are here. You are half Umbrian that I’d never even heard of before we set off so no wonder you have a nice skin tone and a slim figure. It must be the olives and the wine around here. What a wonderful place to live. Shall we move?’
‘Frankie you can’t be serious. You have your career and I have my education to complete. But if my dad accepts me I’d love to come here on vacation and explore. It might be a bigger problem if his family are prejudiced.’
‘Come on Kimmie I was only half serious. Look around this is Italy. Maybe they are different here. So laid back that is not a surprise looking at this place. We could spend ages people watching in the square.’

I caught my breath and opened the car door and Frankie followed my lead. We left our bags in the car and resisted holding hands and crossed the road towards the entrance of the Tratorria. Glancing quickly across the tables the food looked wonderful and there was plenty of wine being consumed. We had probably arrived at a bad time.

‘Buonsera Signore posso aiutarvi’

I just smiled trying to understand what he said.
Frankie turned to me ‘Oh at least he seems to think we are both male.’
‘No I think I understood. He referred to us as ladies.’

The waiter turned back to deliver wine to a table near the entrance and I shrugged my shoulders. He wasn’t very old and was probably around my age and he was wearing a short sleeved black shirt tightly fitted to show his muscular frame and pecs. He was a good six inches taller than either Frankie or I. He had bright blue eyes and I supposed he was a local heart throb.

I tried my best to respond in Italian but he had to come to my rescue and he then welcomed us in English. I felt like he was inspecting me from head to toe as he spoke that made me feel awkward and I obviously looked to the floor embarrassed.
Frankie answered for us. ‘We aren’t looking for a table we are here to meet Kims father.’

‘Mi scusi signore.’

‘I am not a signore Carlos. This is the son of your boss.’

He laughed. ‘Hai frainteso le signore. I’m sorry to speak in my tongue we don’t get many English visitors in Terni.’

I chipped in to clarify to Frankie to explain he was apologizing. Just as I did my papa arrived to find out the problem.

‘Kim you’re hear at last. Carlos this is my son Kim. Here to meet our family’

He grabbed hold of me and hugged me lifting my feet from the ground. I did my best to hug back but my arms were trapped. Everybody seemed to turn and look at us.

‘Kim this is the son of my Elena and he’s working in the business. Elena is in the kitchen with his sister Gabriella and my father. They prepare the food. Oh Kim it is so long since I saw you. I’m so sorry. Please come inside I have a family table all prepared and your grandmother wants to meet you. She has only ever seen photos.’

Tears were rolling down my cheeks. ‘Dad I am so sad we lost contact with each other. I’ve really missed you.’
‘It’s all my fault don’t say sorry. Sometimes business pressures affect relationships. Your mum and I just fell out of love. Then Elana arrived to work for us and we just connected.’

‘Dad please let me introduce Frankie, my girlfriend. She is a close friend of Aunty Emily and we met in Manchester when I was invited to spend the summer there.’

‘Yes I miss Emily. She wasn’t very old when I left London but she helped your mum handle the situation. I owe her a lot. Come on inside since we have customers to serve and we need to let you both settle down. Carlos will take you next door soon to set your bags down so have a glass of local wine first and we’ll all sit down around 10pm to eat and talk. I have some help coming to free us up.’

Grandma appeared from nowhere as we arrived at the table. ‘Il mio bambino sei finalmente tornato a casa’ She smothered me and dad translated for Frankies benefit. ‘My baby you came home at last.’

She hugged Frankie and squeezed my hand without letting go. ‘Carlos per favore servire lo speciale Orvietto’

A special bottle of white wine appeared with 4 glasses and dad joined us to toast each others health. Then Elana escaped from the kitchen to say hello. I remembered her immediately even though we’d only seen each other on two or three occasions. She was polite and she kissed me on both cheeks to welcome me.

‘Kim sei molto dolce.’

Elena coaxed her daughter out of the kitchen to say hello and dad arrived back at the table.

‘Kim this is my daughter, your half-sister Gabriella.’

I was taken aback. Did mum know? Surely she did.’

‘Papà pensavo che Kim fosse un ragazzo. È una ragazza.’

Nobody spoke so Frankie whispered and asked me what she said.

A short Chapter since I felt I shouldn't delay posting about Kim meeting up with her father.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................

Summer With Em Chapter 44

By Julie D Cole

‘Kimmie are you OK. What did she say?’
‘She says I look like a girl. ’
What she said was Papa I thought Kim was a boy. She is a girl.

I looked at dad and then at Grandma then at Carlos and Frankie held my hand and gave it a tight squeeze before speaking out.
‘Little Gabriella I don’t understand Italian but we are delighted to meet you and your family. I’m sure seeing Kim for the first time is a shock to you as you are to us. Maybe just give each other a hug.’

Grandma understood what Frankie had said even though her English was no better than my Italian and she gently pushed Gabriella forward.
‘Gabriella abbraccia tua sorella.’ Give your sister a hug.
Nobody was moving and I looked across to dad. He just smiled weakly and spoke.
‘Kim I don’t understand why you changed your name from Christian that I selected after my grandfather. I wanted you to carry on the Rossi name and one day to come to Italy. It was difficult so your mother had her way. You have really blossomed since I left London. I hoped you’d play football for Italy one day but I can see that your mother was right.’

‘But dad I never liked sport and I did try just for you.’
‘I know you did. I hoped that one day things would change but then events took over. When I decided to come back home I had my reasons and I never spoke about you much except with my mother. She has pressurized me constantly to bring you to see her ever since I returned home.’

Gabriella put her arms around my waist. She was much younger than me and if she was my half sister then she must have been born not long after dad came back to Terni accompanied by Elena. I guessed that dads reasons were that he was having an affair and Elena must have been pregnant that caused the split with mum. Elena was Italian like dad and maybe they are hot blooded. Gabrialla was most likely pure Italian but I was happy being half English.

I managed to respond to dad with a frown and a shrug of my shoulders as I put my arms around Gabriella. That was so hard for me to do when her mum was staring at me and Carlos clearly hated the sight of me. Maybe because of my feminine features highlighted by Gabriella’s comment.

‘Dad this is not the place or the time but I have had my moments growing up. Mostly it’s been really tough for both mum and I. She worked so hard to give me a normal life and luckily Aunty Em was always there for her. She was left with the business in a mess. I’d have loved the chance to spend time with you at home in England or even here where your family is with you.’

Frankie gave me a nod of approval for speaking out. I’d never have had the confidence to do that before we met.

I looked at Gabriella. She was very pretty. We were similar height and build and she had dads features as I did. She had his dark curly hair but it was tied back since she was working in the restaurant kitchen with her mum and granddad.
I so wished I’d known about her before we left the UK. Maybe mum didn’t know. When I saw the eye contact she had with dad she had obviously replaced me as the apple of his eye. I was regretting coming to Terni.

Probably she’d been kissed good night many times, nursed and hugged and had fun with him. I’d lost him and I was just left with my memories of a few early years and my last quality time we spent together in Leicester Square. I sometimes wished I’d had a brother or a sister whilst growing up on those long lonely evenings when mum was busy. Now one pops up out of the blue and a step brother to boot.

Gabriella wasn’t about to let go of the hug so dad came over to put his arms around both of us. Frankie stepped back out of the way just watching on but Carlos and Elena never moved. Grandma Rosso was seated and she held out her arms and stood up as frail as she was. I reached across to hold her hand.

‘Gabriella ha ragione. Vieni a dare a tua nonna un abbraccio di benvenuto a casa.’

She seemed to agree with Gabriella about my femininity and this time I had difficulty translating exactly what she’d said.
By this time tears were welling and my eyes filled and soon they were rolling down my cheeks. I saw Elena and Carlos leave us and then dad stepped forward whispering how sorry he was.

‘Please dad you need to attend to your customers. I will be fine I will wait with Frankie and we’ll sit here with Nonna.’
‘OK I will arrange some Aperetivo and a dish of olives. Then I’ll ask Carlos to take you to the hotel next door. Lets say in about thirty minutes to give mum chance to get to know you both.’

Then he shocked me. Not only did he say ‘A Presto’ but he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. Lucky I’d removed my lipstick in the car.
Grandma Mia beckoned me to sit beside her and she took my hand. Frankie sat across the table. She was being very patient.
‘Il mio bambino piccolo you are beautiful. Bella Molto Bella.’

I blushed and Frankie helped me out suggesting I tried to speak in Italian. Somehow we communicated and Grandma Mia helped me select some nibbles and poured wine for the three of us. I was able to understand that she’d lived a healthy life thanks to the local wine and lots of olives from local groves they owned. They even made their own wine and the friend who owned the hotel next door was actually dads cousin. It seemed like the Rossi family had lots of business around Terni.

I wish I’d been recording everything or writing it down but in truth it was taking me quite a while to interpret and then speak in Italian. The Rossi family had originated in Sicily and moved to Terni to get away from local family fueds.

We hardly seemed to have chance to talk or eat before Carlos approached us to help us with our bags and check in next door. He still seemed surly and his manner was very abrupt. At least he spoke English and like me he’d been born in the UK but to an English father and Elena his Italian mother.

He carried my bag and Frankie handled her own and we met dads cousins wife who was waiting at the small reception area. It was a smallish hotel full of character with no lift so Carlos carried all our bags upstairs. He was quite muscular and he didn’t mind them being on display.

It wasn’t anymore than a 3 star hotel that is 2 star really by English definition. The room was comfortable with a large double bed and a wardrobe and a dressing table. One end of the room was screened by a simple shower curtain and behind it was a shower a basin and a toilet. No screen and shower water would spray everywhere so best to take turns and not shower whilst we were doing morning ablutions. Frankie decided this was in fact 1 star accommodation but the bed was comfy.

We just freshened up and unpacked. Nobody seemed to dress for dinner and it was only next door.

Frankie pulled me onto the bed and cuddled me. ‘Well you did a good job so far. Maybe your dad knows after all. In all honesty I don’t think you need worry about anything other than maybe Carlos who might feel you are staking a claim on the business. He does look like he comes from Sicily never mind your grandma and granddad. We’ve yet to meet him. What if he’s like Al Capone?

……………………………………………………………………………

Summer With Em Chapter 45

By Julie D Cole

After a while we managed to stir ourselves and open our cases and unpacked what needed to be hung in the small wardrobe. We decided the drawer space was inadequate but ok for underwear items so we left things in our cases to access as required. It wasn’t our intention to stay more than 2 nights although we probably had enough clothes for a week.
I really wanted to change into the more feminine clothes I was used to wearing at home but that would have to be after I’d spoken to dad in private to let him know the real purpose of my visit.

We freshened up and headed downstairs where we met dads cousin Alberto Rossi. He was similar age and build to dad but his hair was totally grey but well styled. He was deeply tanned that was not surprising for people living in this beautiful Mediterranean climate. I felt inadequate in comparison even though my skin was smooth and had a slightly deeper tone than mum and Em.

He seemed very happy to meet me and we’d arrived without any knowledge that he existed. He came around the counter to shake my hand and also to say hello to Frankie. He didn’t speak much English so he hugged me and then he called to a back office for assistance.

A much younger woman appeared from the office to assist, clearly not his wife. She wore no make-up because she clearly didn’t need it. She was strikingly beautiful. She around my age and similar height but with an hour glass figure. Her low top dress displayed her firm and full assets and I saw Frankie was immediately transfixed.

Alberto introduced her as his daughter, my half cousin Giorgia. She had deep brown eyes and she was surprisingly glamorous to be working in a hotel of this size in a small town in the mountain area of Umbria. She spoke good English and whilst she knew we were related she immediately seemed more taken with Frankie than me and perhaps I was a surprise to her too.

Once I’d recovered a little I realised Alberto had introduced me as Christiana not as Christian, my birth name, or my passport and registered name of Kimberly. Did Alberto see me as female? Surely he knew I was born Christian and that dad had a son to carry the family name.

I’m sure Frankie was being polite by just smiling when Giorgia put her arms around her waist and asked if she was also related or just a friend of mine. I did notice quite a bit of eye contact that made me feel jealous so I chipped in and said she was a best friend and already in a relationship.

I reached for Frankies hand to let her know that she was more than a best friend trying to hide my engagement ring until I had change to temporarily remove it. I should have done that earlier after we arrived. Giorgia said her and her father would be dining with us and that her mother had slipped out to meet someone but she due back in time to eat with us. She said that the hotel was quiet this weekend due to Italian holidays and that there was only one other room taken. The guests were already dining in the restaurant.

Giorgia eventually took my hand to shake it and then kissed me on both cheeks that was the custom I supposed. She whispered that I needed to visit more and that she’d love to get to know me and show me around and maybe the three of us could be friends on Facebook and chat regularly. She wanted to visit London as soon as she had enough funds and asked Frankie if she could recommend places to visit.

‘Well Giorgia the expert on London is your cousin. You do know that she lived there all her life don’t you?’
‘Sort of I suppose but you seem more experienced and more mature than us.’
‘I guess I’m older if that’s what you mean but I’m a Manchester girl like Kims aunty.’
‘Oh is that far from London. Maybe I could visit you both when I come over.’
I wasn’t sure if she meant Frankie and I or Frankie and Em the way she phrased it and she did have a sort of smirk on her face that I didn’t like.

We had only been in Italy a few hours and I was starting to understand that I had a lot more family in Italy that I had been led to believe. Why hadn’t mum or Em told me? Why hadn’t dad been in regular contact? Maybe mum wasn’t made very welcome by some of dads family which was how I was beginning to feel.

I suppose I went quiet puzzling over these questions and not wanting to risk making matters worse so Frankie spoke out and said we should go back to the restaurant to see dad and the rest of the family. Giorgia insisted to come with us since we were all guests of dad and she quickly disappeared to pick up her bag and a wrap.
When she reappeared she linked arms with me and then grabbed Frankie so that she was in the middle and we headed out into the street. The square was busy as local people walked around and there was a buzz from a bar and several small groups dotted around chatting as they promenaded. The skies were clear and filled with stars. Since we were in the mountain area there was a very light and refreshing breeze that was really nice. I was grateful since no chance that the hotel had air conditioning.

Some of the dining tables had emptied when we reached the entrance and Grandma Mia waved to us. The family table was filled with lots of nibbles and freshly baked bread and both Frankie and I were ready to eat. Dad appeared with several bottles of red wine that he opened and then dishes of pasta and plates of pizza appeared from nowhere.
Carlos was left to deal with the stragglers still finishing their meals and apparently serving expresso coffee and local Grappa leaving the bottle for them to serve themselves. Grandma Mia spoke out “Attento Christiana, dire no alla grappa per favore.” She was warning me to take care if dad started serving Grappa. It didn’t go unnoticed by either Frankie or I that she also used the feminine version of my birth name.

Dad arranged the seating so that I sat next to Grandma Mia who he referred to as Nonna Rossi leaving a space for granddad, Nonno Rossi, when he appeared from the kitchen. Giorgia somehow managed to sit herself next to Frankie across the table from me with dad on the other side of her. Dads wife Elena sat the other side of me with Gabriella and Carlos at the bottom of the table with Alberto and his wife when she arrived. Quite a reception party so not much chance to sit and talk to dad to explain my need for his support.
Nonno Rossi eventually appeared to a cheer having satisfied himself that everything was left in good hands. He looked directly at me and indeed he could easily have played a part in a gangster movie as he removed his apron and put on a waistcoat.
Unlike Alberto, his nephew, he could speak English since he’d lived and worked in London. “ bene il mio bambino alla fine sei a casa.” Which I understood to mean welcome home. Dad had filled our wine glasses so he stood up and made a toast to the family and welcome to Frankie as a guest.

There was no more ceremony and everybody just dived in to eat, passing plates around and enjoying the local red wine. Frankie complemented dad on the choice of wine as she considered herself a bit of a wine buff. To me it was fruity with a kick.
Soon after we started Alberto’s wife Bella arrived and she apologised saying she had something urgent to deal with in the town. She came to me and commented how much I looked like Nonna Mia with exactly the same features. I took that to mean facial features rather than her bust since mine were still relatively small despite them protruding quite a bit. My nipples were enlarged and sore so I was glad I’d taken Frankies advice and removed my strapping and bought some bras at the airport.

It was obvious why Giorgia had sat herself next to Frankie and she was sitting a little too close for comfort. Frankie was being polite but maybe Giorgia took it as verbal foreplay.

Dad was clearly very happy that I’d come to Italy to meet his parents at long last and they seemed really nice. It was a real family business and they’d obviously had to work very hard to run their small restaurant in conjunction with Albertos small hotel. However over dinner Nonna Mia told me that they had developed their business and that they now owned several vinyards locally as well as another restaurant in Narni that was close to Terni. That was run by family friends. Much of the success was due to dads hard work.

As we chatted quietly together she slipped something into my hand along with a piece of note paper. It seemed that she didn’t want anybody to see her do it and I sneaked a look. It was a small velvet bag with what appeared to be a necklace inside. She wanted me to have it since it had been her mothers and she had no daughter to leave it to. She didn’t want to leave it to dad since he’d just give it to Elena or Gabriella who weren’t blood.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that she didn’t have much time for Elena or Gabriella and Carlos. She’d been disappointed with dad when he returned to Italy with a pregnant girlfriend and left mum and I behind.
Until this conversation I’d thought dad had divorced mum and remarried Elana but Nonna Mia said she would have none of it that was much of the reason for unrest. They were all strong Catholics and marriage was for life as far as she was concerned. She was whispering in Italian and that was the best I could interpret from what she said.

She said they would all be going to church on Sunday morning so she hoped that Frankie and I would join them. Now I was a little worried because Frankie and I were due to announce our engagement and I was hoping to seek dads approval to start hormone treatment and medical treatment.

As soon as I had chance I read the note that was in Italian. Così il mio bambino godere il vostro soggiorno, ma prendersi cura. Famiglia Elenas erano parte del motivo per cui abbiamo lasciato la Sicilia.

It was warning me to take care and that Elenas family were part of the reason her and Nanno Rossi had left Sicily.
She took my hand and squeezed it gently smiling at me.

I wanted to open the velvet bag but I resisted.

Sorry for the Delay. Just a short Chapter to deal with the outstanding issue.

.......................................................................................................................................................................

Summer With Em - Chapter 46
By Julie D Cole

Whatever was inside the velvet bag was chunky and heavy. It still felt like a necklace but equally I thought it could be a bracelet. I slipped it inside my bag and smiled back at Nonna Mia. She was making me feel really welcome and I wished I’d gotten to know her before now and a tear came to my eye.

I looked across at dad who smiled back. They were so alike with similar features. He seemed happy that I was meeting my grandmama at long last.

Nonno Rossi was busying himself ensuring that everybody was filling their plates and I tried to resist but no chance. He leaned over me to put the dish of pasta on the table and then put his hands on my shoulders ‘è necessario costruire i muscoli’ suggesting that I needed to build up my muscles. He was fit and strong despite his age and just as tall as dad and I although we were all below average.

I wondered what he must have been like at my age when he was growing up in Sicily. Nothing at all like London and no hustle and bustle. I felt so feeble in comparison to both him and dad. No doubt in his youth he was muscular and I imagined him in a white vest showing his body to attract the local women in his home town. Nonna Mia looked like she was quite a catch. I hoped she’d have some old family photos to show me before we went home.

Dad seemed to have inherited both their looks so it was no wonder mum fell in love with him. It was sad that something happened between them since I’d have loved to have regular trips to Italy and met his family. At home I just had mum and Em.

I looked down at Elena who didn’t seem to have mums looks and personality. What on earth had attracted him such that he left us? Or was it because of me? Was I the reason dad left? Was he disappointed in me? Why had she not found a man of her own instead of stealing dad? She must have thrown herself at him. Had she chased him to London since the families seemed to have history?

I was clearly lost in thought because Frankie had to cough and ask if I was alright. I smiled back and said that I was thinking back to my childhood and wondering what it would have been like to visit regularly as a family. Maybe we’d have even moved here and I’d have been working in the restaurant.

‘Yes and who knows you might have met some Italian beauty and been happily married by now.’

‘Yes maybe. But I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.’

Frankie laughed at my tease and screwed her nose and stuck out her tongue. It did not pass by Nonna Mia who reached out and ensured that Frankie and I held hands across the table. ‘Bellisimi Bambini.’

It seemed we had the blessing of Nonna Mia and hopefully dad would also be positive. Did Nonna Mia see me as her grandson or a grand-daughter? It seemed the latter in view of the way she was treating me and if my guess about the gift was correct. It would be so much easier if I had her support and I wandered if I should talk to her before I opened-up fully to dad.

My understanding was that in Italy whilst the husband is the head of the household the wife and mother is the power of a family and since dad had returned to Italy alone both Nonna Mia and Nonno Rossi were still seemingly controlling things. Elana and dad weren’t married so maybe that was a factor and dad had never divorced mum since the family is Catholic with strong views and links to the local church.

I wondered how dad had managed to convince them to accept Elena and what they thought about Gabriella and Carlos as children born out of wedlock. I suppose that I was their true descendant and a full member of the Rossi family. I realized that was why Nonna Mia had smuggled the velvet bag to me under the table. I assumed it was a treasured heirloom and I was keen to take a look as soon as an opportunity arose.

As the dinner progressed the family chat became louder and the local red wine from the family vineyard was clearly plentiful. Frankie and I took care to drink plenty of water and to keep our wine glasses as full as possible. The music in the background was drowning conversations but I did notice lots of glances my way and especially from Elana who was talking a lot to dad and his cousin Alberto. I tried to avoid eye contact.

I needed a toilet break that I guess was due to the excitement and my nervousness, so I slipped the bag to Frankie and when the coast was clear I headed to the bathrooms. As I approached the alcove I had a decision to make whether I went left to Donna or right to Homo. I knew I had to go to the right but I made the mistake of hesitating.

‘It’s that way for creeps like you. Don’t you dare go in there.’ It was Gabriella.

She pushed me towards the Homo door and she stood there until I entered. I felt embarrassed and awkward because they must have been talking about me and she had obviously jumped out of her seat to confront me. I was so angry. I hadn’t had chance to say two words to dad yet and explain my situation. It was already clear that as well as the annoyance of me turning up out of the blue I was doubly unwelcome. They thought I was a creep or some sort of freak. I bit my tongue since I wasn’t going give Gabriella the satisfaction of an argument or even a fight. Now I did need to talk with dad as soon as possible before they wound him up against me.

I wasn’t too impressed with the bathroom when I looked around. The urinals were clean enough but the pedestals in the cubicles had no seats. I felt I had no choice but to stand to take a pee. It had been ages since I’d done that.

As I left the bathroom I found that Gabriella was waiting for me. In broken English I interpreted what she had said into plain English.

‘When are you going to realize that you made a mistake coming here. We know your game trying to get around your father and get access to his money and business well just clear off. We don’t want any part of you. Go back to your mother you little creep. This is not your family and we all helped him accrue the property and develop the businesses. It is our inheritance, Carlos and mine, not yours. So if you think we’ll stand by you’ve got another think coming.’

‘Gabriella, I haven’t come here for any other reason than to speak with my father. My father not yours. He ran away from his business in London leaving the mess behind. I want to know why. There must have been a reason.’

‘Yes you bitch it was the love of my mother and her family helped him. He had nothing. He gave everything to your mother. That was the deal.’

I so wanted to slap her face but we were already getting looks from the dinner table. ‘For your information Miss Clever Dick all dad left behind was a mess and a pile of unpaid bills. Mum had nothing except me.’

‘She lost out there then didn’t she. No wonder he left.’

I burst into tears and ran back inside the bathroom. I banged my fists on the door of the cubicle and screamed as quietly as I could. Then I heard the door open and turned around. It was dad.

‘Kim, what on earth is going on. What’s wrong? Were you arguing with Gabriella? I thought you going to have a fight.’

‘It’s between us dad. She was rude to me because of my appearance. She upset me. I didn’t come here for anything. I came to get your permission for a couple of things and so Frankie could meet you. Nonna Mia has been so kind to me. I so wish I’d met her before today. She just seems to accept me as I am.’

‘What do you mean accepts you as your are?’

‘It’s plain isn’t it dad? I’m not the son you wanted. This is me.’

‘Look Kim I never rejected you, ever. I left London for complicated reasons that I couldn’t explain. Not even to your mother but it was nothing to do with you or the business difficulties we were having. I could have sorted them out.’

‘But dad I wish I’d never come here. I’m an embarrassment and I’m not welcome. You’ve got a new life even though you and mum are still legally married and I’m not part of it. I don’t want to be part of it. I just want your blessing.’

‘Blessing for what?’

‘Well it’s Frankie who wants to ask you something. She asked me to marry her but she feels she should ask you before we arrange anything.’

‘Kim that’s wonderful news but I’d half guessed already. The ring on your finger gave it away. Now what’s the second thing?’

‘Dad I’ve been so happy since I moved to Manchester to stay with Aunt Em. She let me find myself and her friends have been so kind. I met Frankie who was one of her close friends. So much has happened. My life has changed.’

‘So what does your mum think about this? You haven’t fallen out I hope.’

‘No, we are closer than ever. She really likes Frankie and she’s visited us. She even came with me for a consultation.’

‘Yes I know. Was it about the problem we found when you were young that needed surgery?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Well tell me please.’

‘Dad I think that problem was because I’m more girl than boy. I’ve realized that I like to live and dress as Em’s neice rather than as her nephew and mum seems satisfied that I’m making the right choice.’

‘So this appearance is how you normally socialize and go to work?’

‘Not exactly. Less of the shorts and more of a skirt like the rest of the girls.’

‘Well Kim can I say that when I saw you, I thought that you looked beautiful. You are the image of your mother when we married and your eyes are just like Nonna Mias.’

‘Dad I need a hug.’

‘Come here you need more than a hug. Let’s sit down properly tomorrow and talk things through. I will help all that I can and so will mum and dad. I want to explain a few things to you as well.’

Frankie appeared as dad let go and dad hugged her too.

‘Mr Rossi. We came so I could ask your permission to marry.’

‘Of course you can. You have my permission and Nonna Mia and Nonno Rossi will be delighted when we tell them.’

‘But dad will you tell them what I just told you?’

Summer With Em - Chapter 47

By JulieDCole

What a relief. Gabriella may not ever know how much her nastiness had fired me up. It had helped me to overcome the fear of telling dad what I’d been scared to admit to him and he’d just accepted it.

Well at least I hoped so as he escorted me back into the dining room.

I turned to Frankie and smiled. I whispered to her. ‘Do you realize what just happened?’

‘Yes your dad agreed to you marrying me and you told him you are living as a young woman.’

‘More than that. You asked him and he said yes.’

‘Yes, but does it count you may have to ask him again.’

‘Why ever not? He seemed fine.’

‘Well you came into the men’s bathroom and that’s illegal. So he might renage.’

‘Ha ha very funny. You had me there for a minute. I agree though that it’s not the ideal venue. I don’t know how you’ve put up with those places all these years. They smell of urine.’

‘I think that is so women don’t enter so I hope you don’t make a habit of it. I don’t want you becoming addicted. I admit the Domo side would have been much more pleasant. I’ve got used to it and it did feel a bit weird. I notice that you didn’t even flinch.’

‘Well I saw Gabriella in your face and she seemed to be threatening you. I saw you were upset and you tried to get away from her. Your dad was quicker off the mark than me. She soon moved away when I arrived.What did she say?’

‘She called me a creep and a pervert but it was worse than that it was the way she said it. She snarled. Then she suggested I was only here to make a grab for any inheritance from dad and his parents. She said to get back to England because otherwise they’ll make trouble for me. She said everything is due to pass to her and Carlos.’

‘Stupid woman. Anyway your dad is fit and well as far as I can see. He has no illness has he?’

‘Not that I know of, but she said there was an agreement. I suppose they worry because mum and dad are still legally married in the UK and never got divorced. I don’t know if the law in Italy is the same. Anyway even if there was a divorce in the UK I’m not sure if it’s recognized here.’

‘But they are still your fathers kids aren’t they even if they were born out of wedlock to his fancy woman.’

‘She said they have helped to build the business with their mum and her family support so neither mum or I have any entitlement.’

‘Maybe but even if she is your step sister and there is a blood link we don’t need to associate with them or chase after any inheritance.’

‘Don’t say she is blood related. As far as her being my step sister she ought to have been called Drizella like the evil step sister in Cinderella.’

‘That’s a better name for her. Anyway we aren’t interested in this business or any inheritance. I already have a good job with great prospects and if and when you finish college you will find a good job too. Especially around Manchester. There are lots of jobs about. Anyway, you can always work for me if stick came to lift.’

‘Yes I know but it would be nice to visit and have a good relationship with dad and Nonna Mia and Nonno Rossi. In some respects I wish mum hadn’t rushed into changing my name to her family name. It’s disrespectful to them. Mum and dad are still legally married.’

‘I understand your mum given what happened to her. I might have reacted the same way. Things were different back then anyway. Now you can choose to take my name. I thought we’d agreed.’

‘We did agree. But I hope dad will be present and that mum will be kind to him. I think there is a chance.’

‘Yes if you ask my opinion he doesn’t seem all that happy with Elana and if it wasn’t that his parents are here things might be different.’

‘They do seem nice and so does dads cousin and his wife.’

‘Remember that whatever more is said we didn’t come here looking for gifts or charity. Any way let them all run the business with your dad. Looking at your dad and your grandparents they might outlive us. It seems a relaxed and healthy life here in Italy. All the nice wine and the olives and wall to wall sunshine.’

‘Well I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing we aren’t after their money or the business. Let her lose sleep I won’t lose any.’

‘Good. That’s my feeling too.’

‘But Frankie, I’d like to visit him from time to time and especially whilst Nonna Mia and Nonno Rossi are fit and well.’

‘Of course we should come and were it not for Drizella I might even consider coming here for our wedding. Then your whole family could attend. By the way did you look inside the bag that Nonna Mia gave you before you passed it to me?’

‘No. I was asked to keep it secret, especially from Drizella and Elana.’

‘What do you think it is? It feels like some sort of necklace or bracelet to me. It’s chunky. Shall we take a look?’

‘That’s just what I thought. Maybe let’s go inside the Donna bathroom. We can take a look now before we sit down.’

Frankie held the door whilst I nervously entered even though I’d been in the ladies bathrooms many times recently. ‘Here then you take it and open the bag. It’s yours.’

There was a second velvet bag inside and I loosened the tie and tipped out the contents into Frankies cupped hands. We were right. It was a beautiful long chain gold necklace with a large clasp and on it was a locket. Frankie took it and felt the weight and looked closely at the locket.

‘Kim this is real gold and it’s old. Look it’s marked. I’d like to bet this is a family heirloom. I’m no expert but I bet this is worth several thousand pounds. It is engraved on the back of the locket but it’s in Italian. Can you understand what it says?’

Nonna Mia had told me that it was passed down to her and I knew from mum that all my great grandparents on dads side were from Sicily. I took the necklace and on the rear of the locket it said
‘Per celebrare il giorno del nostro matrimonio’
It said to celebrate our wedding day.

I opened the locket and inside were black and white images of who must have been the bride and groom. Perhaps my ancestors.

‘I wonder if they are the parents of your grandmother. Maybe if you remove the photos the locket is engraved on the inside with their names.’

‘I don’t want to damage the photos trying to remove them. I’d rather ask Nonna Mia later.’

‘So she wants you to have it? Will your dad agree?’

‘I think so since he has no sisters or female cousins that I know of.’

‘Maybe Nonna Mia knows something we don’t know about your mum and dad splitting up and about your condition when you were young. Did you mention to him about your consultation and the possibility of corrective surgery and then perhaps even living full time as a woman?’

‘No but he knows there was a problem and that I should have had surgery when I was at first school. I know that mum has discussed it with him and I’m sure that he knew there was a problem that needed sorting before he left London.’

‘Well you should ask him directly and not beat about the bush. He might even have discussed it with Nonna Mia. It’s possible because she would know he had a son, yet she seems to be accepting of you as you are.’

‘Maybe and maybe not. She doesn’t seem to have much respect for Elana, Drizella and Carlos and no sign of Elanas family around here.’

‘What about your dad? Does he know you are happier living as a young woman?’

‘Sort of. I think he might have guessed by my appearance, but rather than chat here tonight we are going to have a proper chat tomorrow. I think it might be an easier talk than I expected.’

‘Let’s hope so. Do you want to do that on your own or have me with you?’

‘Alone is better I think, if you don’t mind.’

‘Not at all. I have a few calls to make and e-mails to check. Just fix a time to suit your dad. We have nothing planned and that’s why we came.’

We were looking more closely when the door opened so Frankie quickly took hold of the necklace and put it back in the bag. It was a customer from the restaurant who looked us both up and down before focusing on Frankie.

‘Questo è un bagno. Dovresti saperlo meglio che comportarti così qui dentro.’

I didn’t need to translate for Frankie and she clearly I assumed we were both female so we hurried past her giggling.

‘Am I right? Did she think we were at it? What did she think we were doing?’

‘Probably thought you were coming on a bit too strong to me and we should leave it for the bedroom.’

‘I’ll take that. Who cares she can only complain to your dad or Nonno Rossi. They are not likely to call the police. Really, I think she thought we were stupid British Girls who are trying hide our love for each other. I guess we’ve been outed.’

‘I suppose they don’t approve of women fraternizing around here. We are close to Vatican City.’

‘But we are not two women and we did nothing wrong. End of. She is just a customer like us.’

The rest of the evening was pretty calm. We finished dinner without any further incidents and around 10-30pm Nonna Mia and Nonno Rossi decided it was time to retire. Nonno Mia asked me to walk with her to her apartment that was across the road from the restaurant. Nonno Rossi was sampling some Grappa with dad and Alberto. Frankie said she would take the opportunity to approach Drizella that made me nervous, so I felt I ought to hurry back to avoid any escalation.

Nonna Mia chatted as we walked and confirmed that she was happy to finally meet me after all these years and regretted that dad had to come home without me. I told her that I understood that it was because he’d fallen out of love with mum and that he’d met Elana who worked for them. But he was under financial pressure with his restaurant. She shook her head and whispered something that I think I heard correctly.

‘Mio figlio che è solo una parte di esso. Devi chiedere a tuo padre mentre sei qui.’
It seemed that there was more to it and I should ask my dad. I pressed her as politely as I could to explain what she meant and the most I could extract from her was that dad was put in an impossible position and threats were made. She told me it was pressure from contacts in London associated with Sicilian families with whom Elena’s father was connected but that was all I could find out.

So I produced the bag with the necklace and decided to ask Nonna Mia about it. She said that it had been given to her grandmother on her wedding day and had been passed to her on her 21st birthday, as the eldest daughter, as it had been passed to her mother on her 21st birthday. So the photos were of her grandparents. The wedding date was inscribed behind the photos that I chose not to remove.

‘Christian, Kim questo dovrebbe essere tuo per diritto di nascita.’ It was to be mine by birthright rather than it passing to Drizella/Gabriella.

I tried to explain it wasn’t for me. ‘Nonna Mia questo è per la figlia maggiore non per me.’

Her reply left me stumbling for a response.

‘Figlia mia, sei più mia nipote di quanto non lo sarà mai.’

In her opinion I was more of a granddaughter than Drizella would ever be.

I managed to say thankyou and said I would treasure it always and then she surprised me again.

‘Spero che un giorno tu e la tua ragazza sarete benedetti con una bambina. Pregherò per un miracolo domani in chiesa.’ She hoped Frankie and I would be blessed with a daughter one day and she would pray for a miracle the following day at church.

Did she see me as more female than male? I hadn’t hidden my femininity since my arrival but at the same time I’d tried to behave as dads son. It was difficult to revert back after spending the summer with Em. Had she information I didn’t know about.

Nonna Mia kissed me goodnight and before I went back to the others she said she’d take breakfast at 8am if I wanted to join her and attend church for the 10am service. I nodded agreement even though I’d not attended church since dad left us. I seemed to be quickly becoming the apple of her eye and I’d have to let dad know so I could fix a time with him that didn’t conflict.

Summer with Em - Chapter 48

By Julie D Cole

As I re-entered the restaurant Frankie was waiting and she immediately approached me and took my hand. She suggested that we say goodnight to dad and thank Nonno Rossi for a nice evening and then leave them all to enjoy their grappa and wine. There was no sign of Gabriella and Carlos. Elena was clearing the last dishes from the table.

I was looking around the room for dad so Frankie kissed me lightly on the lips and smiled and whispered to me. ‘I feel better now. Gabriella and Carlos are in the kitchen clearing up. Seems your dad beat me to it and gave them jobs as punishment. Elena doesn’t look too happy either. He took her to one side whilst you were out and laid into her. Probably it was because Gabriella was so rude to you.’

Then before we had chance to do anything I saw dad and he saw me at the same time so he came over to us. He ushered us towards a small table in the corner that was fairly private and dimly lit.

‘Kim. I’m sorry about Gabriella’s behaviour she was out of order and she had no right to say what she said. Her mother has spoiled her and she has spent too much time in Sicily with Elena’s family. They are a bad influence.’

‘It’s OK dad what she said about coming here to get in your good books is far from the truth. I told you why we came.’

‘Yes I know so don’t get upset. I’ll keep her in check don’t worry.’

‘The worst part was that she called me a freak. I am not and I can’t help being who I am.’ Frankie reached for my hand to give me support since this was an opportunity to open up to dad.

‘Kim look I know that you are not a freak and now I’ve seen you again face to face I realize that your mum and I were negligent and you needed more support and medical attention to deal with some issues that had come to light. I gave other things priority and I took too much notice of what other people were telling me and felt that I had to deal with threats that were being made by coming here to Italy.’

‘What threats?’

‘Well at first it was pressure rather more than direct threats. Blackmail I suppose.’

‘What sort of blackmail dad?’

‘Well at first it was to do with Nonno Rossi and Nonna Mia. They were still in Sicily and they were in danger from The Family.’

‘Which family, their family?’

Frankie spoke. ‘The Family.’ It seemed that she picked up what he meant quicker than I did.

‘The Family is a group of families that grew and became the Mafia. The early Rossi family had strong connections with The Family in Sicily which is where I grew up. Most families there had Mafia connections. They controlled everything in Sicily and they still do. In Nonno Rossi’s fathers times they spread into large parts of the South of Italy and even across to America. The Mafia is The Family and everybody contributes and those who don’t comply are outside and they may be encouraged or pressurised.’

‘But the Mafia were involved in crime and protection rackets, weren’t they? They used violence, didn’t they?’

‘In some places yes but generally they encouraged. They just used the stick rather than the carrot.’

‘But why did that affect our family? Did Nonno Rossi have an argument then?’

‘Sort of. Families were protected inside The Family and kept together as much as possible with marriages often arranged. I was supposed to marry Elena when we reached 18 that would bring our two families together and all the preparations were being made for a big wedding in Sicily. I had a close friendship with Elena, but I had never travelled outside Sicily or met many other girls.’

‘So did you love her?’

‘I didn’t know what love was back then. Our friendship was good and we went everywhere together so when a decision was made for us to marry I just accepted the instruction. But, Nonna Mia didn’t agree because she said we should make our own choice like she and Nonno Rossi had done. Nobody needed to instruct them. Nonna Mia never knew much about what was happening in The Family according to Nonno Rossi.’

‘So did Nonna Rossi stop the wedding?’

‘She resisted and they secretly left Sicily with me, leaving everything behind. They moved away from Mafia influence settling here in Terni where The Family had no influence. It was in the period of the war in Europe and they were lost from the Mafia network. This area was far enough North and after they found a place to stay they had enough money to set up a restaurant and a small vineyard and planted olive trees, The mountain side here is the perfect location.’

‘But then you left and ended up in London and that is how you met mum then?’

‘Yes Nonna Mia encouraged me to leave Italy and some friends found me a job in their family restaurant which is where I met your mum. We just seemed perfect for each other and we fell in love. We married in secrecy six months after we met. I wrote to Nonna Mia to tell her and she gave me her blessing. There were other Italian families in the area where we lived who had left Italy for safety.’

‘So you and mum just had a quiet wedding?’

‘Yes, just a few friends attended the church and we had a meal together to celebrate.’

‘So what about mums family?’

‘Only Em attended. It was your mum’s decision. She didn’t want any fuss and her parents divorced long before we met and mum and Em ended up in London with an aunt. After we married we started our business and it was developing quickly. We moved to bigger premises and employed staff. Italian food was becoming popular in London. Nobody in Italy knew about mum other than Nonna Mia and Nonno Rossi, or about our marriage, nor about you when you came along. Everything was going so well that we bought a house and we continued to build up the business in a new venue, all with the support of our bank.’

‘How did Elena find you in London and why did you leave?. Mum and you sound as if you were happy until she came along. Or was it me?’

‘It was nothing to do with you Kim. It was complicated and your mum and I were put under a lot of pressure. Somebody in the bank leaked information about my whereabouts. They obviously had some Mafia connections. Elena’s family were told. They then insisted she visit London to find me and they would then ensure that I was persuaded to return to Italy and marry her as planned.’

‘But they didn’t know you and mum had already married did they?’

‘No and neither did The Family.’ Elena was shocked when she found out and when she first arrived she convinced mum that she was just a family friend.’

Mum is too smart to have bought that isn’t she?’

‘Yes, she suspected her motif from the outset. Soon after her arrival I met her in private and told her I’d met and married your mum. She had a tantrum and after I calmed her down she said I’d betrayed her and that we were engaged, We weren’t engaged at all,’
‘So did she go back to Italy?’

‘No, she stayed in London and she acted as if nothing had happened. She showed friendship to your mum like her new best friend.’

‘Did you tell mum?’

‘Yes and she said to just humour her and she’d go home.’

‘But she didn’t I assume.’

‘No because after that the bank started applying pressure and they refused loans to manage our cash flow. Suppliers started letting us down and some key customers stopped visiting us. It reached a stage where I couldn’t even pay our staff. The only way was to go on my knees to the bank. Instead of loans the bank took a 50% shareholding.’

‘So, did they help?’

‘To some degree they did. Then Elena told me she had asked her father to help me and he gave undertakings to the bank and acted as guarantor. She threatened to tell her father the truth so he would withdraw the guarantees. The bank insisted Elena be employed as their representative in the business. It didn’t take long before the bank told me they didn’t think the restaurant was viable so they intended to sell the shares. I had no chance to raise alternative financial support.’

‘So, Elena was not just a casual employee who you had an affair with?’

‘You could say that.’

‘So what made you give up?’

‘The economy was struggling so trade was becoming really difficult for lots of businesses and we had a lot of competition. The bank put me under a lot more pressure. Then they suddenly told me that head office had told them to reduce their exposure by selling their share and guess who they sold to?’

‘Was it Elena’s family?’

‘No, they were sold to an investment group with strong connections to the Mafia in Sicily. A company owned by The Family. I didn’t know they were involved at the time so I was trying to raise funds to buy back the shares and Nonno Rossi was helping me. We found a bank who were prepared to loan me the funds with his guarantee through an Italian bank. Then Nonno Rossi was visited and I had a call from Nonna Rossi to tell me he had been badly injured in an accident.’

‘Was it an accident ? What sort of accident?’

‘No accident. No such thing when The Family get involved. It was a warning with a clear message for me to return to Sicily to meet Elena’s family and fulfil the family pledge.’

‘But you were married. What about mum?’

‘I didn’t get chance to explain anything. I needed to see my father and be sure he was OK so I came here as soon as I could and Elena came with me that annoyed your mum. She accused us of having an affair and of course I intended to tell her everything but when I arrived in Rome, on the way here, we were met by The Family representative and Elena’s father. Elena told them that mum and I had married and that we had a son. They were angry and they made further threats and insisted I leave everything behind and go back to Sicily with them to be with Elena and they would arrange a wedding and ignore the one in the UK.’

‘Dad this sounds like the plot of a movie.’

‘Yes it felt like it at the time.’

‘So, did you do it? You were married. Poor mum alone in the UK worried sick.’

‘Yes poor mum. Poor Nonno Rossi who was hospitalized. Both our businesses were under threat. Nonna Mia was in danger. You and mum were in danger. I was in a difficult position.’

‘So you agreed to their demands?’

‘Yes, but with a compromise. I would ensure there was no debt and leave the house to mum. I insisted that we live here so I could protect my parents and run the business. The Family would stop applying pressure and Elena would effectively become my ‘wife’. Mum and I would still be legally married according to UK law and the Catholic church.’

‘But with the business closed and you gone mum would have no income.’

‘I offered a settlement but mum was adamant she wanted nothing to do with me but we did ensure the debts were paid off. Mum refused to meet me or give me access to you. I couldn’t leave Nonno Rossi and Nonna Mia and it was 2 years before Nonno Rossi had fully recovered.’

I was almost speechless and I stood up to go. Frankie grabbed my hand to try to calm me down. ‘Here him out, please. You need to know.’

‘So you left mum with the business to sort out and you lived here with Elena? But what about me? Was I part of the deal like the furniture?’

‘No Kim you were the hard part. I had to try to protect you both as well as my mum and dad. We were all in danger.’

‘But you left us and came here and built this business with Nonno Rossi and Elena. So, you were an Italian family and you all lived happily ever after. Carlos and Gabriella came along and mum kept me. They had a mum and dad and I just had mum.’

‘Kim it wasn’t like that. I understand why it may look like that but The Family are not normal people. They don’t behave like normal people that you’ve met in your lifetime.’

‘Why are these people so cruel? They behave like gangsters.’

‘Kim that is life in Sicily. Nonno Rossi didn’t just trip up over a tree root or a stone he was knocked in front of a passing car and knocked into the air. After I resisted threats were made against your mum. One afternoon you disappeared from our garden. On another occasion you were taken ill at school and you ended up in hospital. Eventually mum thought we were crazy people so we finally agreed to separate and stay apart. The Family won again.’

‘So, Elena’s family won. The Mafia helped them. Why didn’t they help Nonno Rossi?’

‘Because we left Sicily and moved to Terni and Nonna Mia would not follow instruction to integrate two families.’

‘Dad if I hadn’t come here would you ever have told me these things or even mum for that matter.’

‘Well that’s difficult to say. All I can say is that I deeply regret not bringing mum and you to Terni and resisting their threats. A lot has happened this last ten years to break The Family hold and the old ways are not as visible or obvious, but they still do exist.’

‘But they destroyed our lives. All of us. They should be punished.’

‘Well we survived. We can’t change history but I hope things can change and that I can make things up a little. Your mum may never be able to forgive me but you are still part of this family in Italy and I promise to do whatever I can to make the rest of your life as happy as possible.’

‘Like what dad? I have met Frankie and we don’t need money or inheritance. Gabriella and Carlos can take it all as far as I’m concerned. I needed you and mum needed you. I watched my friends having fun with their fathers. I just had memories of you carrying me on your shoulders.’

‘Kim I can only try my best. I want to help you to be the person you want to be and be at your wedding along with Nonno Rossi and Nonna Mia. I want to spend some time with you and come to the UK to be with you through any medical consultations and procedures that might be required.’

‘Yes dad I think I’d like that. It is the one key thing that I need to solve and I need your permission to move forward because of my age.’

We hugged and I burst into tears.

Summer With Em
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 49

Frankie and I said goodnight and agreed not to say anything to anybody and to stay calm and chat to him again the following day.

I was quiet as we headed to our room and my emotions were all over the place. I felt so sorry for dads family after they had tried to break free from the stranglehold of The Family in Sicily and dad had been encouraged to start a new life in the UK by Nanno Mia. It must have been very hard for her to lose contact with her only son and miss his wedding and then not see the birth of their grandchild. I wondered if things had been different for me if mum and I had moved to Terni as dad wanted where I would have had an extended family. I’d probably have been working in the family business and who knows what effect an Italian diet and lifestyle might have had.

Frankie obviously realised that I was deep in thought and didn’t say anything. Eventually as we reached the door of our room she put her arms around me and spoke.’ Kim I really like your dad. He was placed in a very difficult position and he tried his best to protect all of you. I could see the love in his eyes and it was a father/daughter love so I’m sure that he is going to do whatever he can to help you. You have two loving parents even though they were forced apart.’

‘Yes I realise that but these people are crazy. I thought the Mafia ended years ago and they were all like Al Capone.’
‘Probably in parts of the world they are still like that. At least they seem to have left you and your mum alone since your dad did as they wanted. I’m not keen on Elena though nor her two children. They are not like you. We ought to go inside since anybody could be listening.’

‘Well I suppose not. I wonder how much Em knows about what was going on. She was at their wedding even though she was quite a bit younger than mum. She must know all about The Family and so must mum. I’ve been with Em all summer and she knows we have come here for dads permission and blessing.’

‘Yes she is bound to know something and maybe that’s why she coaxed you to stay with her in Manchester hoping you’d be happy to move there out of the way.’

As we prepared for bed I thought back to the events leading up to me agreeing to spend the summer away from London. Mum and Em had discussed it several times. Almost immediately I arrived Em had encouraged me to dress in a feminine style and then we went out with her friends with me dressed as a young woman. Soon I was offered a summer job with her best friend and I was treated like one of the girls rather than as a male employee. Were they in collusion and perhaps trying to create a new identity for me to reduce the risk of some sort of vengeance or even to avoid further threats against dad using me as some sort of bait?

Frankie told me I was over-thinking it and she definitely wasn’t in on any sort of plan although she did think Em and Kims mum had probably colluded but probably to let Kim explore his feminine side. However the upside was that Kims dad was in agreement with their relationship and the prospect of giving a daughter away didn’t seem to phase him at all.
They snuggled up together and since Kim felt emotionally drained Frankie stroked her hair and soon she heard the occasional sound of light snoring. Even though she anticipated further difficulties with Gabriella in particular.

Frankie had to wake Kim early the following morning since she was due to have breakfast at 8am with Nanno Mia and then they’d go to church together. Frankie decided that she would go for a walk to the family vineyard and stop for a coffee and a croissant at a bar in the town square. She didn’t want Kim to feel obliged to invite her along and she was looking forward to stretching her legs.

Kim wasn’t sure what she should wear to attend church so Frankie suggested that he avoided shorts and covered his bosom. It didn’t leave much choice but to wear the more masculine trousers and shirt that Kim had packed in case of emergency. He decided to tie his hair into a low pony tail and minimize his make-up but at least he still did look more girl than boy. Frankie approved the look but suggested Kim wore a little mascara and a hint of lipstick.
Downstairs Nanno Mia was sitting in a chair waiting and she smiled as Kim arrived. ‘ Buongiorno la mia dolce cosa che hai un bell'aspetto. Sei pronto per la colazione? Hai un velo nella borsa per la chiesa.’ She complemented Kim and asked if he had a scarf to cover his head that most women were required to do.

‘Non ho una sciarpa. Devo davvero portarne uno.’ Kim didn’t have a scarf and asked if he needed one. Nanno Mia had a spare scarf in her bag that she insisted Kim borrow. Whist it didn’t match his outfit Nanno Mia appeared unfazed.
We strolled across to a small outdoor café on the next street corner looking out across the square that was run by family friends of Nonno Rossi and Nanno Mia. Her friend was sitting waiting and I was introduced to her.
‘Maria, questa è mia nipote. Ci sta visitando questo fine settimana e sono così felice. Non è bellissima.’ She explained that I was her granddaughter and that I was visiting for the weekend and to my embarrassment said that I was beautiful.
Breakfast was a simple plate of meats and cheese with bread rolls and croissants with Nanno Mia and Maria drinking water whilst I drank coffee. I answered a few polite questions from Maria but Nanno Mia explained that I had been raised in the UK. She seemed to know that dad had married mum in the UK and that Elana wasn’t his wife. It was clear that they were close friends and that they trusted each other.

After breakfast we linked arms and strolled across the square to the church where we were welcomed by the Priest. Nanno Mia was keen to introduce me as her granddaughter so once again there seemed to be another person with whom she had confided in about my fathers relationship whilst in UK and in fact the Priest seemed to know that my parents were married. I doubted that he would be happy about him living in sin with Elana and being the father of her two children but nothing was said and none of them apparently attended church regularly if at all. I put on the scarf as required whilst we were chatting and after a few minutes our places in Nanno Mia’s regular pew. I asked her if the Catholic Church opposed the Mafia behavior in Italy and she hushed me indicating it was a contentious issue.

Everyone who entered the church seemed to kneel before taking their seat and many of the women carried rosary beads. Nanno Mia bowed her head in prayer and kneeled and Maria did the same. I was surprised at their ability to kneel given their ages and after she sat back Nanno Mia explained that a good diet and plenty of olives was a major factor. She said she’d given special thanks for finally bringing me home to Italy and that she prayed that I would live a long and happy life. I felt guilty that I’d not attended church regularly in recent years even though both mum and Em attended regularly. Neither put me under any pressure and mum had said that it was my choice.

The church soon filled and Nanno Mia seemed to know acknowledge all the people in close proximity to us. The service took a long time and I felt obliged to take communion following Nanno Mia and Maria. There was a small choir who sang one hymn in Italian and two residents of Terni did readings. I followed most of it even though it was in Italian.
After the service we stood outside in the sunshine and I could see that Nanno Mia know most of the congregation and lots stopped to speak to her. I was introduced as a student from UK who was visiting Terni for the weekend and staying at the family hotel with a girlfriend. She whispered that it was better not to say too much to avoid gossip.

We walked back to the street café where we’d met Maria for breakfast and sat to have a drink and continue our chat. It was a nice experience for me to sit and talk in Italian and whilst I struggled at first I soon became confident. It was also interesting to talk to an older generation and listen to their memories living in Terni. Nanno Mia didn’t say much about her life in Sicily though. Maria asked me about life in London and how it compared with Terni but I said their was no comparison. This was like a paradise to the area where we lived in London and it felt safe.

I spotted Frankie returning from her walk and waved her across to meet Maria and have a drink. She smiled and said hello and bent to kiss both Maria and Nanno Mia on the cheeks. Then she bent and kissed me on the forehead and then quickly on the lips that brought a smile from Maria.
‘Due uccelli d'amore proprio come nei nostri primi giorni.’
I would have to explain later to Frankie since she said we were young love birds just like they had been. I pretended not to understand but saw the look of fondness from Nanno Mia.

Frankie was impressed with the vineyard and olive groves and had met dad whilst having a coffee and croissant. He had suggested we went to Narni in the that was an old village high on the hills and not far from Terni. He wanted us to have a meal together and he would bring Nonno Rossi and Nanno Mia. It would give us chance to relax together away from the restaurant that Elana would take care of with Carlos and Gabriella and a chef they employed. Nanno Mia admitted that it was her idea.

Sitting in such peaceful and picturesque surroundings gave me goose bumps and I wanted to return for a vacation if possible so I could spend more time looking around the area and sampling the lifestyle. Frankie suggested that we walk in the sunshine leaving Nanno Mia and Maria to chat to friends but before we did she took some group photographs on our phones. She said that she noticed a resemblance between Nanno Mia and me that she wanted to record.
When I told Frankie what Maria had said she smiled and said she was happy for them and that she hoped that we would have an even closer relationship and that she would ensure that it lasted just as long.

Since it was getting hot as noon approached, I decided to go to our hotel to change into shorts and a loose-fitting top. Wearing a bra in hot weather wasn’t something I’d experienced growing up and in the heat of Italy it wasn’t particularly comfortable so I decided to remove it. I didn’t have particularly large or protruding nipples like Frankie so she approved even though she giggled.

We found dad and agreed to time and a meeting place in Narni and after a stroll around Terni we returned for our hire car and enjoyed the relatively short journey through the Umbria countryside. Narni was clearly visible ahead of us up on a high hill with its old stone architecture looking beautiful in the backdrop of blue sky and small white clouds. We parked up and walked around the cobbled streets stopping occasionally to take photographs. It was nice to be in the shade of the buildings and look inside gift shops where I was able to buy a sun hat.

We shared a pizza and a bottle of sparkling water in a small café that was welcome and then found the meeting place close to the restaurant that apparently was a friend of the family.

Around 4pm they arrived and we all hugged before sitting at our table and we were introduced to dads friends, Alberto and Paula, who were the owners. Dad surprised me by introducing me as his eldest daughter and Frankie as my fiancee. Alberto insisted that we all enjoy a glass of sparkling wine to welcome us to Narni and to wish us a happy marriage.
Alberto and Paula joined us during the meal that was non-stop banter and laughing where I understood more about my father and my grandparents who had clearly recovered from the threats that had been made by the Family.

Nonno Rossi insisted to say a few words to Frankie and I and he said how sorry he was that he had been unable to resist the threats from the Family that caused dad to come home and leave me behind with mum.
I stood up and hugged him and told him that I had no ill feelings against anybody and I hoped to visit again soon and to spend more time in Italy in future.