Right to Life: The Brain Donor

Chapter 1 - Awakening.

“-ooks like he’s coming around.”, I heard a voice say. “Don’t try to move, you’ve been sedated for a while, and it’ll take time to regain your motor skills after the surgery.”

Wait? Surgery?

As if they had heard my thoughts, the man replied. I assumed it was a man. It sounded like one. The deep baritone timbre of his voice sounded like one. I couldn’t see though, and I couldn’t open my eyes.

“You were brought in after a car hit you. You were dying, and there wasn’t anything that could be done at the hospital you were at. You were airlifted to Rochester. You are at the Mayo Clinic. I’m Dr. Thompkins. We had to perform a radical new experimental surgery to save you. You have been in an induce coma since.” the Doctor stated.

I tried to talk, to open my eyes, to do anything. I couldn’t move. I could feel my body though, and it felt off. Not like it used to. The sensations I felt were strange. Not the me I was used to. I took a mental assessment. I could feel my toes, but couldn’t move them. I concentrated on my senses, I could feel feet, legs, working on up. I can’t sense my balls or my dick. I panicked at that. Were they damaged? Did they have to get removed?

“Doctor! Pulse and heart rate are up!”, I heard a woman say. Probably a nurse.

I heard the doctor sigh. “Thomas, try to calm down. Slow your breathing. I will explain everything.”

I took a deep breath, of the oxygen being provided through the tubes in my nose. I concentrated on calming down and not getting upset. I listened as the doctor spoke.

“Thomas, you might not remember the accident, but when you were brought in, you were close to death. We had to do an experimental transplant. Your body had been pulverized. You had multiple compound fractures, internal bleeding and impending failure of your organs. We performed a brain transplant. I’m sorry to say, you have an entirely different body, and are no longer recognizable as Thomas Kinkaid.”

I nearly panicked again, but I got my breathing under control.

“Thomas, please try to understand that we had no alternative. You were dying, and nothing short of this procedure could save you. As it is, it took a team of 8 surgeons and their support staff a day and a half for the transplant. You’ve been in a medically induced coma for the past month, in order to heal, and let the various nerve connections strengthen. Judging from your responses to our requests to calm down, I think it’s safe to say you can hear us. If we had a way to communicate, we could proceed.”, stated Dr. Thompkins.

I thought about that, and focused on moving, speaking, anything. With some effort, I did manage to slightly move my left index finger.

Apparently one of the nurses noticed. “Doctor, look!”, she said.

“Excellent Thomas, can you do it again?”, The doctor asked.

I wiggled the finger again. It was easier this time.

“Marvelous, simply marvelous!” Dr. Thompkins replied. “Due to the nature of the surgery, you will need to undergo physical therapy. You are trying to move muscles and bones and tissues that you’ve never had before, and use neural connections that are still being formed. We placed you in that coma to allow time to heal. You were in it over a month. Progress will be slow, but I am encouraged by your being able to move the finger.”

Over the next few days the doctor visited again, and he helped me with exercises to help me. Soon I was able to move my finger without much difficulty. I didn’t much like the sensitivity tests though, all the poking and prodding and “Can you feel this?” was getting to me.

I worked constantly on getting stronger, I worked tirelessly. And then the moment came. I had been awake for a month, and after all that time I opened my eyes.

I was greeted by light so bright it was painful. Everything was blurry. I closed my eyes, and waited. The sun was going down, and the room was filling with shadows. I opened my eyes again. I was still greeted by a blur, but it wasn’t intolerably bright. I worked feverishly on blinking and just keeping my eyes open.

The Next Day Dr. Thompkins came in and saw me trying to look around. I was sitting there with my eyes open, but I couldn’t move them.

“Thomas, try to follow my finger.”, He said. But nothing happened. All I could see was blurry light, and something dark moving around in front of me. My eyes couldn’t track it.

I felt the sense of wrongness again. I had felt it several times since I had awoken. When the nurses gave me sponge baths, when they moved me to change the bedding, and prevent bed sores, other occasions. I felt… too small on those occasions, and I was still troubled. I hadn’t been able to feel my dick at all since awakening. Not even so much as morning wood.

It felt strange when the nurses bathed me down there too, I could feel something, but not like before. When I was lifted up, I felt too small. I must be a small man now, because When they moved me, there was a very burly orderly that picked me up on my own. I had been 6’2”, and nearly 190Lbs. But now I could be hefted by one person.

“Thomas, tap your finger once for yes and two for no. Do you understand?”, The doctor asked.

* Tap *

“Okay, great. I’m going to shine a light in your eyes, I need to check your pupils. Don’t be alarmed. Do you understand?”, Dr. Thompkins explained.

* Tap *

“Pupils are dilated, but we can administer drops to help with that. Once we can get you seeing well enough we can figure out a more… interactive method of communication. I’ll stop in again later, but for now I’ll leave you to your sponge bath.”

oh joy…

I closed my eyes as I was carefully lifted off the bed. I could feel slight discomfort as my catheter and feeding tube were jostled, and my colostomy bag was changed out. Again the strange feeling hit me that something wasn’t right, especially the sensation concerning the catheter.

After the sponging, I was left alone with my thoughts. My mind drifted back to that night. It have been Pete’s birthday, and my friends and I took him out for drinks. What are friends for, right? You only turn 21 once. We shouldn’t have been out that night, but hindsight is 20/20, as they say. We all went our separate ways, I headed for the light rail station. I think they sought out another bar. I remember there was a screech, and then nothing until I woke up here.

Maybe it’s for the best I don’t remember? I don’t know. And what about the other guy? A brain transplant… that means someone else had to die… for me to get their body. What about him? I can’t stand to think that some other guy had to die for me to live. But really, am I thankful for it? I’m so confused.

I sat in the dark all night thinking about it. I had a second chance, so I guess it’s best to make the best of it I possibly can. So many worries hit me. What if this guy has a family history of cancer? What if he was an addict? I don’t feel any urges. Did I detox and not know it? How tall is he? Is he ugly? Is he fat or thin? I lay there thinking these thoughts, and not for the first time. When I closed my eyes, I could concentrate on my body, it still felt wrong. It felt strange.

My vision wasn’t clearing, everything was blurry. After more disappointing sessions with Dr. Thompkins, we had a breakthrough.

“Thomas, You seem to be blinking a lot. Is there something wrong with your eyes?”, he had asked.

* Tap *

“Hmmm, I’ll be right back.”, Dr. Thompkins responded. I could see blurry motion as he must have left the room. I heard the door close, and that confirmed it. After a few quiet minutes, I heard him return. The door opened, and I could see his blurry form towering over me, as I lay there. I felt a sensation, as something slid over my ears and onto the bridge of my nose, the blurriness was gone. Glasses. I was wearing glasses now.

“I’m sorry, I should have checked the notes we had on your donor more thoroughly. I’m sorry to say that you have very poor eyesight and need corrective lenses.”, he mentioned in a tone that seemed embarrassed.

I blinked and looked out at him. I could see! First thing I noticed was my nose. It was small and had a dainty tip. I looked down as best as I was able to, and that’s when the tears began. I could see my body reclined in the bed. It was tiny, so very tiny. Tiny and delicate. This was not a male body, not even a boy’s. I was looking down at the body of a young girl, not yet in puberty. The tears started flowing and my breathing was quick and I was hyper-ventilating. My finger was tapping on the mattress beside me furiously.

“I..I’m sorry. I was hoping to break this to you once things had progressed further. I realize I’m not very good at this bedside manner thing, but I didn’t mean to keep this from you.”, He rationalized.

I looked at him. He was short and fat, and balding. White hair was mixed in with his brown hair. He had on a labcoat and the cliché stethoscope around his neck. If I could move, I would likely leap over and strangle him.

I’m sure he could read some aspect of that in my eyes, because he started to stammer. “I… I… we had no choice. She, that is… the donor.. um, was brought in with a brain aneurysm. She was effectively brain-dead, and then when the hospital in Minneapolis called us, um well, we didn’t have an alternative. You know how hard it is to find someone who had brain death, but their body is otherwise fine? If it hadn’t been her, there would have been little alternative. The method we used to preserve the body and your brain was experimental. There was no guarantee we could have waited for another body to become available.”

I tried to tune him out, but it was nearly impossible. I was stuck as an invalid, I was stuck as a freak. I was stuck as a little girl. A blind as a bat little girl. God, I couldn’t be more than 12 at the most, from what I could see.

Oh god. What is going to happen to me? Mom and Dad are both gone, I have no relatives. Will they treat me like a kid, and stick me in some creepy foster home? Damn it, I’m a man! A MAN!! Fuck this… I started to panic even more. My breathing was fast, my heart was pounding.

Oh god! I’m going to have a heart attack, or a stroke. I’m going to die. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live like this. Help me someone, help me…

I felt involuntary tremors, my body shaking and pulse racing. If I could throw up, I would.

I was so scared and preoccupied that I didn’t even see the nurse enter, nor did I see her hand the syringe to him. I didn’t notice until I felt the pinch in my arm, and then mercifully, everything got dark.

Right to Life: The Brain Donor

Chapter 2 - Recovery.

I spaced out for the next few days. Orderlies came in and changed my bedding, nurses fixed my colostomy bags, and drained the catheter bag. I got sponge baths, and they manually manipulated my limbs, so my muscles wouldn’t tighten up and atrophy. All the while, I sat there in a fugue. Things happened, and I was aware of them. But I didn’t give them any thought, and I certainly didn’t respond to anyone.

I sat there feeling sorry for myself, when I heard a voice. I looked over to the doorway, and saw the blurry image of someone. I didn’t have the glasses on, and I couldn’t see them. I could tell that the person was coming closer. The individual reached over to the bedside and grabbed the glasses. I knew that because they were on me in a matter of seconds.

Standing in front of me was a woman. If I were still me, I’d be drooling over her. She was perhaps about 5’5” - 5’6”, with her long blonde hair braided into a long braid that fell down to about her mid-back. She had blue eyes, that were emphasized by the round glasses she wore. Her Doctor’s coat didn’t quite cover up the fact that she was very curvaceous and somewhat busty. She had on a crew-neck shirt under the coat. I could see that she had on a leather skirt and smokey hose.

“I’m Doctor Westerlain.”, she said in a melodious voice. “Doctor Thompkins thought that after your reaction to your new reality, that it might be best if someone else took over your rehabilitation… Someone that wasn’t involved previously.”

I looked at her. As I did, I could feel a tear roll down my cheek. Surprisingly, she reached into her coat pocket and produced a tissue, and wiped the tear away.

“I understand that things are rather traumatic for you. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for me to wake up one day trapped in a new body, and certainly not one of the opposite gender.”, she said with a sympathetic smile. “But you have received a gift. You might not think it now, but it truly is. Without this surgery, you would be dead. You have the chance at a whole new life.”

I looked at her and tapped my finger repeatedly, tapping the two taps for “no” over and over.

She looked at me and gave me a smile. “There are worse things than being an 11 year old girl. I was one once. I survived it. And so can you. You can wallow in misery, or see it as a challenge. Your life isn’t over, it’s beginning a new chapter. You can go back to school, you can start a new life. Your possibilities are nearly endless.”

I sat there and took that in. She might be right about that, but still… I was a little girl. A crippled one, at that. Weak and helpless and blind as a bat.

Dr. Westerlain spoke up again, “I have an idea that will make things much easier for both of us. I will be right back.”

With that, she turned and left.

I sat and thought about my situation. Yes, I was an 11 year old girl, but I was alive. I don’t know if I’m okay with that, but as she said… I am alive. I couldn’t sigh too well due to my breathing tube, but I felt like doing so. It was then that the doctor returned. She had a bag slung over her shoulder, and she quickly wheeled over the table that sat in the corner. She opened up the bag, and pulled several things from it, and placed them on the table. She adjusted the table-arm, so that it fit over my lap. After that, she placed a small devise on it.

“This is a tablet that has been programmed to translate your finger taps from Morse code to English text.” She said, as she pulled something else from the bag. It was a stand that attached to the table. It had on it a copy of the alphabet, and the corresponding Morse code representations of each letter.

“With this, you should be able to communicate more effectively”, she said cheerfully. I tried the tablet, and it was frustrating, but after a while, I got the hang of it.

>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity-fuck.<, I tapped.

She laughed and spoke. “Perfectly understandable, under the circumstances. Now that you can communicate, do you have any questions?”

I thought about it for a moment.

>What do I look like?<

She paused and looked me over before responding. “You are about 5 foot tall, maybe 85-90 Lbs, I’d estimate. A little on the thin side. Very pretty blue eyes. Your hair is just starting to grow back, but I would say it appears to be a dark brown, maybe black. Certainly very attractive for that age. Would you like to see?”, she asked cautiously.

>Yes<

She held up a hand mirror and I looked at it. I could see the face, If not for the bandages and breathing tubes and other apparatus attached, it might be cute. The nose was as dainty as I thought, based on my impression of seeing it from the corner of my vision. The eyes were big and wide open, expressing an innocence that the real me had lost long ago. I couldn’t tell much about my mouth, as the breathing tube covered it up. If I am to be stuck as a girl for the rest of my life though, it’s better to not be an ugly one, I guess?

“Now that we can communicate, I’m going to be honest with you. It will be tough. Physical therapy will be long and grueling. But If you put effort into it, you will be able to resume a normal life. The neurologists tell me that your nerves and muscles are in good shape, and there weren’t any issues with the surgery. So if you are willing to put in the work, you will be able to walk and talk and do everything that the average person can do.”, she said with a stern, but sincere tone.

Progress went slowly, but I was expecting that. It took me another month to get full use of my hands, but with that progress came the ability to type. I wasn’t exactly burning up the 45 WPM rate I used to be able to do, but could get by hunting and pecking.

Shortly after that Dr. Westerlain came with news. Based on my tests, I was strong enough to be taken of the ventilator, and be allowed to breath on my own now, with only an oxygen tube in my nose. Additionally, I could leave my room for short periods in a wheel chair to get fresh air. I was overjoyed, because I was understandably getting stir-crazy.

My first outing took me to the park across the street, it was late spring already, and it was warming up. I felt a little chill, as it was still slightly on the cool side. Dr. Westerlain carefully put a blanket over me, as I sat there and watched people come and go. There were children playing, and I watched as one little girl teased an older boy. They looked like siblings. I watched her having fun, and I realized that she was probably the same physical age as my body. She danced and spun around, joy evident on her face. I watched, and the tears came. After a little while of watching, I tapped at the tablet mounted to the arm of the chair.

>Take me back please<

We went back to my room, and after I was placed back in bed, I sat there thinking. I didn’t want to be a girl, but I wanted what that girl in the park had. Joy, laughter… life. I wanted my life back, even if it was not to be as ‘me’. For that, I would try to cope with my new reality.

A few more days passed. Dr. Westerlain... or as she recently advised me to call her… Heidi, was here and we were working on my conditioning. She would push against my hands and I had to try to push back. I was making slow progress. I was able to move my forearms a little,

“I was thinking”, she said. “Things are going well with your physical therapy. There is something else that needs working on though… something that might be more difficult. Have you given any thought to your future?”

I sighed, and swallowed. I knew that eventually I would have to face this. Since the procedure had been experimental, my healthcare and stay were being picked up by the hospital, various research groups, charities, and foundations. When I would be “healthy” enough to leave, I had nothing really to return to. I had no family, and since I had likely been declared dead, my full-ride scholarship and housing at the University were gone. I think that Heidi noticed my fear, because my hands were shaking.

She took them and held them and reassured me. “Don’t worry, we won’t just throw you out on the street when you are fit enough to leave. We will find a place for you, and methods of support. What I was referring to is your future. After all, a young girl named Thomas would draw attention. We can work on that, but I thought it might suit you to think about it now.”

After Heidi left, I sat there thinking about it. Who am I? Who was I? Who was she? There were so many things I didn’t know, and so many questions left unanswered.

The next day came, and I had questions. Many questions. Heidi was working on my legs, massaging the muscles and flexing and bending my knees. I typed a message for her, and then tapped on the talbe to get her attention.

>Who was she?<

Heidi looked at me, not quite following. I sighed.

>The body. Who was she?< I asked again.

Heidi sighed herself, and stopped working on my muscles for a moment. She moved over beside me, and sat down in a chair at bedside. “I wish I could tell you something. But due to legal reasons and privacy issues all that information has been sealed. I don’t have any access to the donor’s personal information. All they provided to us doctors is medical history. I can tell you that whoever she was, she died of a sudden brain aneurysm. It was most likely over pretty quickly, I doubt she would have suffered.”

I breathed out slowly. I suppose there is some solace in that, that she didn’t suffer. I felt guilty though. Having her body. Whoever she is, I hope she can find some peace. I shed a tear and said a silent prayer for her.

Heidi noticed my mood, and decided I needed some time to myself. I was grateful to her, and I sat in the darkness, musing on life and death. The enormity of it all was getting to me. Why was I saved? I looked down at my hands, gazing over my body, my flat chest, the shape of my legs as they lay covered by my bed sheet. Surely this girl was more deserving. But now I am this girl. There is no more me, there is no more her. We are both but ghosts… only I am cursed to walk the Earth, remembering what I once had. Maybe she was the fortunate one? I had no answers, and the fates would supply none.

I laughed, as a stray thought floated through my mind. John Lennon once said “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”

No truer words were spoken. I had a new life, and no plans. I knew no future for myself. I had no name, no identity, no purpose. Just a person who should not be.

Right to Life: The Brain Donor

Chapter 3 - Progress.

After another couple months, my progress had reached the point where I was moved out of the hospital, and to a rehabilitation and recovery house. I could type now, not like 60WPM, or anything, but well enough that I could use a computer with speech software to communicate. My upper body was getting stronger. I could lift myself into a wheel chair, and into bed… Although both were rather difficult to do. The plus side of that though was that I no longer needed the colostomy bag and the catheter. I was on soft foods, and feeling stronger. I was still trying to adjust. Peeing sitting down was a difficult thing for me to master, at first.

I sat on the couch, my wheelchair next to it. Heidi was coming over soon for my physical therapy. Speech therapy was difficult, I could make noises, but I was nowhere near being able to talk. A typical session would be me laying down on the floor, as Heidi worked with my legs, stretching them and bending them. It wouldn’t help me at all if the muscles tightened or atrophied. As she manipulated my legs, I ran through a vocal exercise meant to keep my vocal cords limber.

With time left in our session, we headed out to the park. Sometimes Heidi would push my chair, but more and more she made me wheel myself. It was sunny and warm, as August had just arrived. I had on a light tee, and to my dismay, a training bra. I hadn’t started puberty, but Heidi thought that it was a good idea to get me accustomed to wearing one. The very thought of what faced me scared the ever living crap out of me. To think that in a year, maybe two, I’d have tits starting, and I’d be bleeding out of an opening I shouldn’t have. That caused me some night terrors. In addition to my physical therapy, they had me attending regular meetings with a psychiatrist. I accepted that I was given a second chance, but the fact that I was having to live as a pre-teen girl was still causing me emotional issues.

I often woke up crying, and these new emotions were more intense. The doctors explained that since I had a female body now, my hormone levels were those of a girl, and I could expect to feel things in a stronger way.

After wheeling myself around the park a couple times, I was tired. These little girl arms weren’t all that muscular, and even though I didn’t weigh much, the effort exhausted me. Heidi took me home, and we concentrated on sensory observation. I would close my eyes, and she would gently poke a toe, or my arch. Sometimes she would hit my knee with a reflex hammer. After therapy, she took me into the bathroom and helped me with a bath. It was relaxing, and I had to admit, I was getting used to baths. As a guy, I had been more of a quick shower sort. Get in, get done, get out. But there was something relaxing and peaceful about a long soak in the tub, I really couldn’t explain it.

October came, and saw me able to walk with crutches. Admittedly, not for very long, or for very far. Still, it was progress. My speech therapy was also progressing. I was able to speak a little, though I sounded like someone with cerebral palsy, and speaking was hard. I had to be slow and deliberate, or I would be totally unintelligible. Still, all things being equal it was better than being dead.

I did get a rather unexpected surprise. It was Halloween, and I hadn’t been expecting anything. I sat in my room, the on-call nurse had just been by with my medications. There was a knock on the door, and it was Heidi. She wasn’t expected, but she came.
With a twinkle in her eye, and minimal explanation, I found myself in a makeshift Halloween costume. My chair was done up like one of those Dr. Who aliens, the Daleks. With my costume on, I was ushered into a van and taken to the children’s ward back at the hospital. A wonderful time was had. I joined the children as movies were shown, and candy given out. I had to stick to the softer candies, of course. Still it was an awesome time.

After the party, I sat in the dark and thought long and hard. Heidi had gone as a sexy witch. Her cleavage was visible, but still acceptable. The short dress accented her legs. If I had been the old me, I would have had my own ‘magic wand’ rather prominent. But as it is, nothing. I had thought about this on occasion, but now it was really hammered home. I had lost my sex drive and had to wonder. Would I get it back? Would I be a straight girl? Would I become a lesbian? The thought of some dude sticking his dick in me did nothing for me but give me a nauseous feeling. I sighed and re-focused on the party.

Thanksgiving came and went, with nobody to celebrate with. I sat in my room and watched football alone. By then though I was more mobile. I was walking on my own, needing just a cane. My speech was coming along too, I was mostly understandable, although I had a heavy lisp. Heidi and I were working on my expected transition out of the therapy house, prioritizing my language skills and working on writing. Although I had use of my hands, my penmanship was terrible. I had tremors that caused my hands to shake, meaning my writing was very sloppy.

Christmas saw me invited home by Heidi. We sat in her apartment and enjoyed a modest meal that she had cooked herself. Apparently she had no close family or friends, and usually worked on the Holidays. After dinner, we sat on the couch together and listened to carols. It was different, but nice. I was due to be released just after New Years, but there were complications. Legally, I was a nobody. I had no assets, no home, no name. I was a non-person in the eyes of the law. Worse yet, I was a minor AND a non-entity, from a legal standpoint.

I sat in the darkness of my room, it was the day after Christmas. I was walking, talking doing everything expected. I couldn’t run, and I was still having some slight troubles with speaking and writing, but I was okay. I got up and walked to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I saw that same face. The petite girl with the black hair and the sparkling blue eyes. Me. That was me now. A me that didn’t exist to the world.

I knew that the original plan had been for me to quietly be set up in an apartment that was paid for by the Hospital and several other organizations, but apparently that plan had been nixed by the lawyers. Of course it was the lawyers. Probably the same reason that there hadn’t been any news conferences to show me off and to talk about the operation. I couldn’t see somewhere as prestigious as the Mayo Clinic doing something shady and underhanded, but surely there was a reason for all the hush-hush, sweeping under the carpet of the whole affair.

I was resolved to ask Heidi when I saw her next, but other thoughts loomed large. I was out of here in a matter of days. To be thrown out into the Minnesota winter was all but a death sentence. I had less than a week to figure something out.

The day came, and I was out the door. All I had was a sweatsuit and some old sneakers. This was it. It was cold. There was snow falling, and the wind was howling. I walked slowly out the door, facing my second brush with cold and death. I was resigned to my fate, when suddenly I felt a tug on my sweatshirt.

I turned around and was face to face with Heidi. She handed me a key, and told me a cab was on its way. I stood there stunned.

“Whath going on?” I asked, my lisp coming out as I stood there tearing up.

Heidi looked at me and smiled. “You are going to my apartment. I won’t abandon you to the streets.”

I cried and bit at my lower lip as the cab pulled up. Heidi helped me into the back seat and handed me money to pay for the cab. She went over to the driver’s window and gave the address, and I was off.

I sat in the apartment, in a daze. It seemed like hours until Heidi came home. I heard her keys jangle as she came in.

“Thomas? You in here?”, she called. I looked up from the couch and waved her over. We sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words could come out. Heidi spoke instead. “I know things are tough, but I’m not going to abandon you. I could never do that. I’m off tomorrow, and I’m going to call a friend of mine. She’s a lawyer. We will figure out how to help you.”

I slept in Heidi’s bed that night. She took the couch. I had offered to take the couch, but she had refused rather adamantly. I fell asleep quickly that night, surrounded by warmth and optimism.

I sat on the couch in an over-sized tee that draped like a dress on my small frame. I finished my cheerios and turned suddenly at the knocking on the door. Heidi bolted up and ran over, peering through the keyhole. With a relieved sigh, she undid the chain bolt and opened the door.

A tall woman entered, perhaps close to 6 foot. She was wearing a black trench coat and fedora, and carried a briefcase. There was a large bag slung over her shoulder. She put her bag and briefcase down and leaned in and kissed Heidi on the cheek. There was an intimacy and closeness there that I picked up on right away.

Heidi turned toward me and nodded her head at me. “Thomas, meet Rebecca Erikson. Becca, this is Thomas.”

Rebecca looked me over and nodded. “Hello, Heidi told me all about you, and I did some digging. Unfortunately any assets you had have been liquidated, and the money was donated to charity. As for legal status, that’s another sticky wicket. Officially, you are dead. Thomas Kinkaid died that night in the operating room. Furthermore, the records of your body’s identity have been sealed by a judge, and she also is legally dead.”

I sighed and slumped over. “Tho thath’s it. I’m a nobody, and I’m doomed.”

Rebecca looked at me sympathetically, “There is still an option, though you might not want to hear it.”

“I’m lithening”, I said.

“We do have your redacted medical history. With that, we can legally generate a new identity for you, but obviously it would be as a female minor.”, Rebecca said looking at me.

“Meaning I’d be thtuck in the juvenile thysthtem.”, I said with tears starting to form.

Heidi came over and wrapped her arm around my shoulders and drew me into a hug. “Not if someone were to legally adopt you. Of course, you would be considered a minor, so that person would need to assume total guardianship over you and make sure you are provided for. Make sure you go to school, and take care of your emotional and physical well-being. Since I’ve been doing that already, why not make it permanent?”

I looked at her and hugged her tightly. “You would do that for me?” I said, tears still flowing. Ugh… these damn girl hormones.

Right to Life: The Brain Donor
By Rosalie Redd.

Chapter 4 - Lawyers suck… ( at least some do)

A couple days had passed, and I was doing resistance training with Heidi. She placed her feet against mine, as we sat on the floor. She would push with hers, and expected me to push back. Over on the sofa, sat Becca. She had on some jeans with a hole in one knee, and a University of Minnesota hoodie.

“I’m thorry, I don’t underthtand”, I said in regards to the statement she had made.

“As I was saying, I tried to contact the staff responsible for your operation, but all I got was the run-around. They are bound by an NDA to not discuss the surgery or any aspects of your case. The contract stipulates that they can’t release any information until or unless the Mayo Clinic itself publicly announces the surgery. To violate that contract would cost the parties involved tens of thousands of dollars, each.”

Heidi sighed. “Yes, when I was brought in to take care of your rehabilitation, I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement. But Thomas, you already know everything I do.”

Becca twirled a pencil in her fingers, absent-mindedly. “It’s clear that they have something to hide, the operation was a success… so it’s not likely anything concerning Thomas.”

Heidi looked at me, and then grew silent, then spoke. “I might be able to figure out what’s going on, but whether the person I need to talk to will help, that’s the uncertain part.”

With the somber discussion finished for now, we continued my workout, and then had a light meal.

The next day when Heidi returned home from work, She dashed to take a shower and then called Becca. There was a whispered conversation, and then Heidi hung up.

“I found out the situation, but I would prefer for us to wait for Becca to arrive.”, she told me plainly.

When my sultry lawyer arrived, she let herself in with her key. I smiled at the fact they were so oblivious to the fact I had noticed. Sometimes I think they forget I was a 26 year old college student, as it’s so easy to see the little girl. Hmm… maybe I should become a spy, nobody would suspect the little girl… I chuckled to myself at that joke.

Becca took off her trench coat and sat down, her long legs crossed in such a way that she seemed oblivious to the raw sexual image she appeared

I glanced at Heidi, who obviously noticed. Heidi blushed and then spoke. “I spoke to Dr. Thompkins today. He’s always had a lecherous eye towards me, and I… might have used some feminine charms to help get some information from him.”

Becca nodded and laughed. “These feminine charms wouldn’t happen to include that black mini-skirt and red v-neck shirt that I like, would they?”

I watched Heidi blush. “Maybe… anyhow, I found out something important. It seems that the panic is related to the donor girl’s parents. They had consented for her organs to be donated, but not her whole body. The lawyers are in a panic, because they realize that if they find out about Thomas, here… there will be all sorts of negative press and litigation that they cant afford.”

I sighed as I sat there on the floor. My continued existence was a legal oversight. “I feel thorry for that poor girth’s parenth. They were lied to! They were mithled… and I’m the rethult!”, I screamed.

I pulled my knees to my chest and broke down in tears. Heidi and Becca rushed over and hugged me as I sat there crying. Old me would have been in Heaven to have two hot women hug me into their chests, but new me was way too emotionally wrecked and hormonally lacking.

Heidi and Becca picked me up and carried me to bed, I felt their presences and I cried myself to sleep.

Dreams and nightmares didn’t come. I would have almost preferred nightmares to nothing. Anything to show I still could feel.

Waking up the next morning, I dragged myself out of bed. Stumbling to the shower, I slipped off my nightshirt and started the water. I had gotten strong enough that Heidi no longer worried about me bathing unsupervised. As the water cascaded down my body, I closed my eyes and felt it. I had been this girl for nearly a year now, and she was still so alien to me.

After I got out of the shower, I went into what was now ‘my room’ again. Heidi had filled the closets and dresser drawers with clothing that fit, but was as gender-neutral as possible. Obviously there was no escaping from the fact I needed panties, and tighty-whiteys were no longer an option, but the jeans, sweats, shirts, tees were all decidedly in gender neutral styles and colors.

Officially, with the hospital dis-avowing all information on my operation, Heidi was no longer getting paid to take care of me. Because of this, she returned to the general rehabilitation facilities, taking care of other patients. Knowing I had little to do during the day, she set up a regimen for me. I couldn’t go out alone. As a non-entity, if I disappeared, there were no records for me. Fingerprints and dental records would come back as belonging to a girl that had died last winter. That is, if those records still even existed. So I diligently kept up with the rehab tasks she left me, and when I finished those, I skimmed the internet, looking for information on the death of me and well, the her that was sort of me now.

Becca was working on the case unofficially, in her off-hours. She had to keep at her day job, after all. Not like I could afford to pay her. Still we dug and dug and dug, not hitting the proverbial oil. I went over my medical ‘history’, such as it were. Broken arm, age 6. Chicken Pox, age 3. every official illness was listed. Hmm… official, as in seen by a doctor. I wondered about this girl, the sprains, bumps, bruises. Things not considered important enough to see a doctor for. Was she hurt often? Was she an adventurous tomboy, or a careful princess? Had she had brothers? Sisters? A pet?

Just who was this person that I was inhabiting?

Spring came, and with it, the decisions mounted. I had finished rehab. It had taken over a year, but I was well enough to do all the things a girl my physical age could do. My lisp was largely gone, and I could walk and run and write and there was no hint anything had ever been wrong, save for the scar that circled my head, just under my hairline.
I sat in the park with Becca, Heidi was working overtime. We watched the children playing on the swings and running around. I sighed.

“Hey kiddo, you okay?”, Becca asked. I still hadn’t picked a name. Not after all this time. We had decided that officially my birthday would be March 1st. I don’t know if I was procrastinating on the name because it would be the final nail in the coffin of my identity, but I just couldn’t do it.

“Yeah, Becca, I’m okay. I just don’t know where to go from here. I have no records, so I can’t go back to college. I think I’d die inside if I had to go back to grade school. I just… I don’t know what to do.”

Becca hugged me. “You know, Heidi and I both love you. Regardless of who you were or are now. Can you keep a secret?”, She asked.

I nodded, and spoke. “Of course I can.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a box. “Next week is our 2 year anniversary, hers and mine. I’m going to take her out and ask her to marry me.”

I hugged her. “I’m so happy for you both!”, I said with a smile.

Becca looked down at me. “You know, if we do get married, we could formally set up an identity for you and adopt you.” She smiled as she said that.

I hugged her tighter. “I think I’d like that.”, I chirped happily. We sat there for a while. I noticed as I looked around, that there was a woman that kept looking over at me. She was across the park from us, maybe 60-70 meters away. She stared and stared. I thought it was about Becca, as she was a definite hottie.

I leaned closer and whispered to Becca. “You see that woman over there? The one in the white coat, over by the jungle gym? She keeps looking over here.”

Becca stood up and looked directly at her. The woman dropped her gaze down to the ground.

“I think we better leave. Now.” She said with an urgency I shared.

Becca took my arm and started to run. I followed along as quickly as I could, my shorter legs being something of a hindrance. Getting to her car, we saw no sign of the woman following us. Still, we turned several times and took back alleys and backtracked over our path several times before heading to a destination. Instead of Heidi’s place, we headed to Becca’s loft.

We ducked into the building, and headed up to the loft. I had never been there before, so I looked around. In contrast to Heidi’s neat and tidy space, Becca’s place was a pigsty. There were several empty pizza boxes, a bra was hanging over the back of a chair. I shook my head and sat down on a section of couch that wasn’t covered in legal papers.

After a few hours watching some movie about a socialite who was brain transplanted into an average housewife.* We ended up laughing because of how campy and ridiculous it was. Eventually we decided it was safe to take me back.
We got no further than the lobby, when the woman ran up. She knocked Becca down and grabbed me.

“Cindy! It is you! They told me you were gone. They said your organs had been donated. I knew it wasn’t true!”, she said in a clearly manic way.

Becca got up and called over to the front desk. A couple security guards soon came.

“This woman has assaulted me, and is trying to forceably take my client here.”, she said as she indicated me. “I want her removed from the building and charged with trespassing. She is not to be allowed back in, and I will get a restraining order, if I have to!”

The woman was led off, still screaming back at me. “My baby! You can’t have my baby! She’s mine! You hear me? MINE!”

After the emotional turmoil, I felt tired. Becca ushered me into her car and drove me back to Heidi’s. I was asleep by then, and she carried me upstairs.

I stirred as she placed me gently on the couch. I listened to her pacing. Pretending to be asleep still, I eavesdropped as she called Heidi.

“Hello my love. I think today we had a breakthrough in the matter with Thomas, but I’m not so sure it’s positive. We were at the park, and I think we ran into the donor’s mother. She followed me from the park. No, I made sure to go to my place. No, she has no idea about you, or where Thomas is. Still, I fear this could go south very quickly. I had her barred from the building, but anyone could dig into who lives there and come up with my name. It might be best, if at least for a while, that you and I not see each other. I know. I hate the thought of it too, but if we are to protect her, we have to do this. I love you.” With that, she hung up.

I wanted to get up to comfort her. To tell her that she didn’t have to do that...but I was a coward. I sat there pretending to still be sleeping. I heard the door close as she left, and the tears started to stream down my face.

* ‘Who is Julia?’ - a 1986 TV movie, starring Mare Winningham.

Right to Life: The Brain Donor

Chapter 5 - Who’s a pretty, pretty princess?

Heidi and Becca ended up breaking their leases, and moving in together. That meant, of course, that I came along. I was tired, both emotionally and physically. Emotionally from all the upheaval and drama. Physically from the therapy. While I was pretty much recovered, I was still encouraged to explore my limits and learn the boundaries of my new body.

I was out for a jog with Heidi, complaining about the red wig and sunglasses I was forced to wear. For her part Heidi had on sunglasses as well as a Baseball cap. I was getting into better shape, my body losing some of the fat that had accumulated and I was feeling fit. My little frame was filling out. Not like super muscular, but trim and in shape.

We reached home and Becca was waiting for us.

“I have some news. The Board has come around, they wish to meet with us. I informed them that the mother contacted us, and that she told us about ‘Cindy’, while we haven’t followed up on that, they know that I am not under the confidentiality agreement, not is Thomas.”, Becca stated.

I nodded my head. I didn’t want to know anything more about Cindy. After I had heard that name weeks ago, I had nightmares. Having a name made her more real somehow. She was no longer just the donor. She was a real little girl that had died. A girl that should have this body. If the Mayo Clinic board wanted to meet with us, they were afraid that I would expose them. This gave me freedom, in a way. I could leverage this into a new life. I’m a non-entity, as both myself and Cindy were dead. I didn’t want to reveal myself as Cindy, but if the clinic gave me options, damn it, I would take them.

Becca, Heidi, and I sat for a while and planned. After some calls, a meeting was arranged hastily.

Three days later we sat in the office of the Board of the Mayo Clinic. I looked down at the black flats I had on, shiny, with a strap across the front and silver buckle. The white tights and black skirt were paired off with a white blouse with silver buttons and a rounded collar. I kicked my feet like a kid in a too-high chair. The lawyers were late, no doubt trying to make us sweat it out, and make some sort of psychological point.

The lawyers and doctors walked in and sat down, looking at us across the table. Looking squarely at me, the Lead attorney greeted us.

“Ladies”, he said in a smug tone.

I frowned and leaned forward, but sat back when I felt Heidi’s arm across my stomach. Becca sat there, looking at the lawyers, her own expensive outfit showing that she was not to be trifled with.

“Gentlemen, I called for this meeting, because a… situation has arisen that you would be advised to cooperate with us concerning. Recently, it has come to our attention that the family of the minor girl whose body was used in Mr. Kinkaid’s surgery was not informed of the intended use of the body. Now due to Miss Westerlain’s non-disclosure agreement, she is prohibited from telling anyone about the surgery. Mr. Kinkaid and myself… not so much, actually. Now It would be a shame if the story of how a grieving mother had discovered that the body of her precious daughter was misused, and had not been cremated, but had actually been used without her consent in a medical experiment.”

The Head of the board, a large, imposing man of about 50 stood up. He was muscular, but also balding and carrying some extra weight around the midsection. A sure sign of his love for good food.

“What exactly are you getting at, Miss. Erikson?”, the man asked in a cautious manner.

“My client and I will agree to not disclose his situation to the family, or the media… In exchange for testimony in court about my client’s legal status. We will petition the court for the records to be sealed. All we want is to Establish a new legal identity for Mr. Kinkaid. Additionally, all medical aid and assistance will be continued, and a trust established for my client to receive upon their legal reaching of 21 years of age physically, based upon the age of their current body. I highly suggest that you take this offer, as I’m sure the family of the little girl would demand a far more expensive settlement, and public acknowledgment of wrong doing. What you accomplished was a good thing, and my client’s life was saved because of it. I don’t want the doctors that performed this miracle to lose their licenses to practice medicine.” Becca finished her statement, and pushed a stack of papers over to the lead attorney.

He was definitely flustered. “May we have a moment to discuss this offer, in private?”, he asked.

Becca nodded and we walked out into the hallway, where I sat down on a convenient bench. Becca and Heidi bent down and hugged me. I squirmed uncomfortably, and they realized their mistake and let go.

“Sorry, that was insensitive of us.”, Heidi apologized. “If this goes through though, there may be complications though. Complications to your daily life.”

I cast my gaze down. “I know. To the rest of the world, I’m going to be a 13 year old girl. You will probably have to put up with me living with you or something, being in the way. It’s not fair.”

Heidi sighed and hugged me. “I know it’s not ideal, but it’s the best we can do. There is a lot that will be needed to be sorted out, and would you rather we were there to help, or some strangers?”

“You, of course”, I said.

****

In the end Becca negotiated a nice settlement, with a cash pay-out, medical care for life, and a trust set up for when I reached an appropriate physical age to go to college again.

Additionally, the clinic would provide assistance in setting up my identity. Becca had explained that it was in the institution’s best interest to quietly assist me, rather than go through an expensive court case that could pay out far more, and would certainly tarnish the reputation of the facility.

Thus it was that only a week later we were in court. I sat in the chair next to Becca, fidgeting with the hem of my skirt. The courtroom was clear, save for myself, Becca, Heidi, the court reporter, a bailiff, and another lawyer.

I looked up at the bench, as the judge cam out from chambers. She was a rather tall black woman, approximately 50 or so, with glasses, and her hair back in a bun. She took her place on the bench and conversed with the court reporter for a moment before addressing us all.

“Usually I like to know what I’m dealing with in greater detail. I am intrigued that someone with enough pull managed to get the senior circuit judge to call for a closed court hearing on a… what? Legal name change?” The judge asked, perplexed.

“Your honor, Rebecca Erickson, representing the petitioner. I apologize for the cloak and dagger routine, it was not our intent to spring this on you. I fear that the theatrics were at the behest of my colleague here.”, Becca stated, motioning to the other attorney present.

The other lawyer stood up. He was a tall, slender man of perhaps 60 or so, standing easily 6’4”- 6’5”, with gray hair and a fancy Italian suit. “Your honor, Wentworth Hightower, representing the interests of the Mayo Clinic. This amount of secrecy was necessary due to some potentially… revolutionary medical advances that took place in this case.”, the counselor stated in a dispassionate tone.

Becca continued. “In addition, there is the matter of my client’s privacy if the information we are about to reveal were to become public.”

The Judge looked at them both, with an arched eyebrow. “Very well, I will keep the records sealed for now, but this had better be good.”, she said.

Over the course of the next four hours evidence was introduced as to my past identity. Death certificates were provided for myself and Cindy, whom I learned was named Cynthia Marie Holmes, as well as confirmations of her donor status. While I thought the way the forms were worded seemed a bit shady, I kept my mouth shut. Eventually I was brought up to the witness stand and was sworn in.

Becca stood in front of me. “We have heard and read the documents submitted into evidence as far as your past identity as Thomas Kinkaid, as well as the information concerning Miss Holmes’ unfortunate brain aneurysm. Unfortunately as Miss Holmes was declared brain-dead, and your body was declared as dead, there is no legal president for your current legal status. What do you wish from the court today, Miss Doe?”

I sighed at the name she called me, for legal reasons. The case was petitioned under the name ‘Jane Doe’, and then I pleaded my case. “Your honor, I realize that this whole thing is a bit unusual. I only wish to get on with my life. I know that things will never be the same. I’m not a 24 year old man anymore. And while I don’t really wish to be stuck as a 13 year old girl, this is the hand I was dealt. I honestly don’t know where to go from here. I mean who would hire me looking like this? Who would take a 13 year old girl seriously in college? Miss Erickson and Miss Westerlain have cared for me like a member of their family.”

The Judge reviewed all the information, and then went back to her chambers.

After an hour, in which I mostly sat and chewed my fingernails down to practically nothing, the bailiff called us back into the courtroom. We were seated as the Judge entered and returned to the bench.

“I have reviewed all the information. Considering the sensitive nature of the information, and the privacy concerns involved, I will grant the petition for legal status determination. I have seen enough evidence that the girl in front of me is the man formerly known as Thomas Kinkaid. However, considering the welfare of the petitioner, I can not in good conscience release her out into the world without a support system. My ruling is that I will grant the petition on the condition that Miss Westerlain formally adopt you as her legal daughter. Miss Westerlain, is this agreeable with you?”

Heidi stood up and smoothed her skirt, looking at the judge, she spoke up. “Your honor, I will gladly accept these terms, and I will provide the best care and support I can to her, teaching her everything she needs to know and I will care for her as if she were my own child. I have gotten very close to Thomas during his… her rehab, and I will protect her with all my strength.”

The judge smiled and looked at me. “Miss Doe, are these terms agreeable with you?”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Your honor, I could not think of any better situation.”

Looking back at me, the judge asked the all-important question. “What name should I apply to the official record, in so far as your legal papers?”

I looked back at Becca and Heidi. “I think I would like my new mother to pick.”, I said with a smile.

Heidi put her arm around my shoulder, as she stood beside me. “I think that I like the name Thomassina Alicia Westerlain, or Tomi for short”.

I felt tears as I acknowledged her not only giving me her last name, but the decision to keep my old name, as something I could cling to.

The Judge talked to Becca and Mr. Hightower about the sealing of the records, and legalities pertaining to Social Security, birth records, and other things. I didn’t hear word one. I was so elated to just be recognized again. That stuff could wait, as far as I was concerned. I was a person again.

a little warning, chapter 1 may be a little dry, because of exposition. But I hope that can be fixed in the next chapters.
Also, I love comments, and am very nervous - since this is my first time putting anything out for review or critique. Also, if you want to play in my Rutverse sandbox, feel free to drop me a message with questions before you write your story.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd
Casey Church was a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hadn’t been a girl born in over a century, what was normal?

Chapter 1.

Of course I’m nervous. First day of school and all. But it’s not just that. Not that entering 9th grade isn’t a major milestone in life. I’m a high-schooler. Yay me.

No, the uncertainty isn’t about that. All summer, I tried to avoid the inevitable. I stayed in and did a lot of reading and playing video games. I know mom was concerned, but I just can’t face it yet. So here I am, in class, waiting for the bell to ring. Looking around, I look for faces I know, and I study those that I don’t. There are 25 of us, myself and 20 other boys make up the front of the classroom. In the back of the room, huddled together sit the girls, four of them. They look around nervously, I wonder if they are afraid of us, or afraid of being recognized.

Snapping me out of my funk was the fact that the teacher entered and slammed a book down loudly on the desk. We all looked up, as he started to write on the chalkboard.

“My name is Mr. Hedges”, He said.

Mr. Hedges wasn’t a very big man, perhaps my height, at about 5’7”. He was balding, and had a rather substantial paunch. His brown hair hair was thinning, and speckled with gray. He started roll, and I really didn’t pay attention until I heard my name.

“Casey James Church?”, He inquired looking around the classroom.

I held up my hand and responded with a half-hearted “Here!”

As soon as he moved on, I was back in my head. I glanced around, thinking. There were the 4 girls, still looking nervous. I noticed that I wasn’t the only one looking their direction. The other boys were glancing around at them. Some with interest, some, like me with anxiety or nervousness.

Concluding the roll, Mr. Hedges looked up. “Welcome to World History 1, we will be getting to the normal curriculum tomorrow. For today we will be discussing a matter of great concern to those of your ages. Some of you have already experienced the results.”, He said looking towards the back of the class at the girls. “For those who haven’t, The school board insists that we take the opportunity to discuss with all incoming freshmen the history and the ramifications of the ‘Occurrence’ and the resulting impact on humanity.”

Oh great. I tuned Hedges out again. I knew all about the event that was dubbed the “Occurrence”, we all did. Nobody knows the cause exactly. Some blame a meteorite strike that happened in Siberia in 1908, others say it was the Earth passing through the tail of Halley’s Comet in 1910. All that’s really known is that in the first decade of the 20th century birthrates took a sudden decline. Eventually the birthrate fell to zero, and there was global panic that it was the end of the world.

The major religions declared the end of days, and that it was divine punishment for humanity’s sins. There was mass confusion and talk about the Rapture. It wasn’t until much later that it was discovered that the cause of the decline was the mass sterility of the entire original female population of the world.

It was only a couple years later when the strangeness began. Globally teen males around the world were exhibiting strange behavior. Boys around the ages of 13-16 were suddenly exhibiting homosexual pairing. Even the most staunchly heterosexual males would suddenly ignore the females in their community and go out of their way to seek a same-sex mate. After having sex, one of the pair would begin to show physical changes, usually beginning 5-7 days later.
Within a few months, the individual would be completely female, and able to get pregnant and bear male children.

Of course back then science hadn’t yet discovered the reasons for these changes. The fundamental nature of the change mean that many religions were starting to lose credibility. After centuries of spouting propaganda about how “homosexuality was evil”, they were faced with the reality that now homosexual acts were now required for humanity’s survival.

I looked up to see what Hedges was talking about, he was droning on about the wars that the change had caused.

“When Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated in 1914 by Serbian conspiracy theorists that purported Austro-Hungarian scientists had released a virus that caused the changes, war broke out. World War I lasted for almost 4 years, and decimated the economies of many nations.

With conflicts simmering around the world, and countries trying to grab back territory lost to the m in WWI, a new presence on the global scene would once again stir things up in 1939. Adolph Hitler, leader of the Nazi party, declared that humanity was now impure, and that along with what he deemed ‘lesser races’, anyone that embraced the new biological imperatives were an ‘abomination’, needing resources and test subjects for his researchers, he invaded Poland, setting off another World War.”

I tuned him out again. I know all this. We ALL know all this. But the grown-ups have to be grown-ups and tell us how it is.

It wasn’t until the 1950’s when a team of French scientists discovered the catalyst for the transformations. They won a Nobel Prize for it, even. Apparently when you hit puberty, you start to produce strong pheromones. No, you don’t stink. You don’t even smell it. But a potential mate will, on some subconscious level.

-Shudder-

Then their unique scent changes in response. Oh god oh god oh god… I don’t want to think about this.
Not about the mating frenzy that follows, or about the uncontrollable desire to have sex. I’m afraid. I don’t want to end up a girl. I don’t want to change. But it might happen. If I’m the one that ends up um… taking it in the end, I’m the one that’s gonna be changed. I’m so scared. I’m not big, If my … if he’s bigger, he’ll want to be the man. So I’ll be the one helpless as he fucks my ass. I’ll be the one taking in the enzymes in his cum. He’ll be safe. When he does it to me, his DNA will lock and keep him a boy. I’ll be the one that’s stuck.

Nearing panic and almost hyperventilating, I almost miss that the bell has rung. Wobbling out of the classroom, I stop and lean against the wall. So far, so good right? I mean why am.. am I panicking?
I won’t be 14 for another 5 weeks, I could hit my growth spurt, and I could be safe. I mean Mom is tall. Maybe I won’t take after Dad. I hope I don’t take after him.
The next couple periods passed by in a blur, and I managed to calm down. Maybe it wouldn’t happen today, and if not today, maybe I was safe for a while. Being a freshman, I knew I was at the bottom of the food chain. I wasn’t a jock. I was 5’7”, and scrawny. No muscle mass to speak of. I was plain. Brown eyes and hair, a face that was a little too angular to be attractive. I wasn’t geeky enough to fit in with the geeks or the nerds. Yeah, I enjoyed the usual teen activities, but I wasn’t good at any one thing to fit into that clique. I was resigned to sitting by myself. Maybe that was a good thing.

I looked at my sandwich and sat, concentrating on the peanutty goodness. I noticed the shadow cast over me by the person that came over, but I pretended to be enthralled in the smooth creamy texture, and the crunchy pieces of peanut. That’s when she cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, I saw you sitting alone. Would you like some company, Casey?”, she said in a quiet voice. I looked up at the girl. She was kind of cute. Freckles dotted her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Her dark blonde hair was short and kind of shaggy, like she was growing it out. I looked at her soft, round face, and big blue eyes. She knew me, and I apparently knew her from somewhere.

I looked up at her, and stuttered. “I...I’m sorry, do I know you?”

She blushed and smiled wistfully. “I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself. I’m Janie Bond.”

The hamster in my brain hopped on its exercise wheel and got to work. “Wait, Bond.. as in...”

“Yeah, well at least I don’t have to put up with all the 007 jokes any more”, she said with a slightly sad smile.

I motioned for her to sit down. I had known James casually since third grade, we were friendly, but not exactly best friends. I looked her over as she sat down. She was slightly shorter than I was, whereas James had had a couple inches on me, the last time I had seen him. I tried not to notice too much, but I’m a warm-blooded teenager, you look at these things. She was starting to come into her curves. Not a beanpole, but not exactly an hourglass figure either.

“When… how… who?” I stammered on like an idiot, apparently. She didn’t seem to mind too much. She just sighed in a sad way.

“You know Paul Bettany, right?”, she admitted. Everyone knew Paul. Already over 6” tall, Paul had been a local terror and bully to all the kids in the neighborhood, me included. Many was the time he had extorted money from me, or picked me up and dropped me in a dumpster.

She sighed and continued. “It was this summer. I ran into him one day, just after the end of school. I thought he was going to threaten me, so I ran from him, but when he got close, he started to act strange. I didn’t understand at first, but then I started to feel funny. He caught up to me, and I didn’t want to run away any more. We snuck off together to the orchards near McCurry Park. It was so intense, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.. or our lips… It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced. When we finished stripping each other, he… he did it. I couldn’t get him to stop, but I also didn’t want to stop. I begged him to be gentle, and to not do it. But he laughed as he pinned me to the ground and did it.”

I handed her my napkin, and she wiped away a tear.

“Afterwards, he left me there alone. I was so ashamed. Why did my first time have to be him?”, she lamented.

I gave her a little hug and offered her my oatmeal cookie, which she happily accepted.

“I ran into him a few days later, and questioned him about it. He told me that ‘He was a real man, and that he had hoped he would get someone like me, so he could stay a real man’. After that, I went to visit my aunt in Colorado, and stayed until my change was done. I only got home a few days ago.”, she smiled at me.

“Thanks for listening to me, it actually helped”, she said in an appreciative voice. The rest of lunch went by as we sat and talked about more mundane things. I was glad that Jam.. er.. Janie felt better, but my own fears and apprehensions crept back to the surface.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd
Casey Church was a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hadn’t been a girl born in over a century, what was normal?

Chapter 2.

After lunch I headed off to my next class. Upon entering the biology lab, I was struck by an odd realization. Everyone in the classroom was a boy. Up until this point I hadn’t had a class that didn’t have any girls in it. History had four. English? Six. I had one in math. But the classroom was completely male. I know that yeah, because of the nature of the change there would be far fewer girls than boys at my age, but still… what are the odds? I wasn’t the only one to notice. I saw the other boys all looking around too. It hit me, there were only 17 of us in the class. The reason hit me all at once.

“Damn.”, I said with a resigned sigh.

The boy next to me looked over. “What?”

I replied. “Notice that there aren’t very many of us in class, and that we are all boys?”

He looked at me perplexed. “Yeah, so?”

I shook my head and clarified for him. “The reason there are so few of us is that there are girls in this class, they just have all been taken elsewhere. We’re getting the birds and the um other birds talk”.

“Crap”, he responded.

The bell rang and in stepped a wet dream. She was tall and shapely, the very image you think of when you say ‘naughty teacher’ She was well-endowed and her blazer did little to conceal her hourglass figure. She had on a skirt that accentuated those long, long legs. Setting down her coffee, she shook her head, allowing that long auburn hair to cascade down her back. Licking her luscious lips, she then pushed her glasses up from the tip of her button nose. She looked over the class with those large blue eyes, before turning to the whiteboard behind her. Rewarding us with that view of that gorgeous round butt, she picked up the marker and began writing her name on the board.

“Now that you boys have had your eyeful, it’s time to get down to business”. She said in a smoldering voice, having turned to face us again. Many voices cracked uncomfortably during roll call, and when she purred out my name, I’m not ashamed to say that I was one of them.

Damn, if I were the only one thinking about baseball statistics and old ladies in swimwear, then the rest of my classmates would never look at any woman ever.

“My name is Miss Petri… yes, I get the ‘Petri is a dish’ joke all the time, get it out of your system. You may have noticed that there are no girls in class. That will change tomorrow. Right now they are off getting a special lecture. The reason I get you horn-balls to myself today is purely because of sex.”, She cooed in that impossible voice.

Pencils dropped almost in unison in the classroom, as all the boys gaped at her in silence.

“To clarify, today all incoming students either have gotten, or will be getting the prerequisite talk about the occurrence, from a historic and social stand point. You lucky devils get me for the nitty-grity, down and dirty stuff. I’m talking about biology and sexual education. Your female classmates are with one of the school nurses, getting to learn all about their new bodies in full detail. Now I know that some of you boys surely are responsible for some of your classmates being in that lecture, but since we don’t air our dirty laundry here, We are going to assume you are innocent babes, pure as the fresh winter’s snow”, she said in that voice that would make frozen butter melt.

Bending over, to pick up a paper from her desk, she scored several fatal hits to the teens gathered. Her low v-neck shirt sagged in just the most wrong way, allowing everyone a view of the mystical valley that lay between the majestic mountains.

“Now boys, back in olden days of yore, human beings were like most other mammals. The male would produce sperm containing the chromosomes that contribute to which gender the fetus would become. Thus it was determinate on whether the sperm passed an X or Y to determine the gender. After the change, that was no longer the case. All human sperm now carry only male genes.”, Pausing to look up, she saw she clearly had our attention.

“In 1953, scientists in France discovered that a previously undiscovered enzyme exists in the semen of puberty-age boys that interacts with the DNA of other receptive male cells. The enzyme triggers the Y chromosome to mutate and change into an X chromosome. Fortunately for you all, you are immune to your own enzymes. If that weren’t the case every boy entering puberty would have become a girl, and with no males to impregnate them, we wouldn’t be here.”

I swallowed and took a deep breath. The topic of discussion, and the person doing it was almost too much. I quickly glanced around, and saw that I wasn’t the only one fidgeting and shifting in my seat. Surely she couldn’t intentionally be torturing us, could she?

She took a moment to blow on her coffee and take a sip. Nnnngh.. She’s killing us. Man down! Man down! (or up, as the case might be).

Returning to the lecture, she spoke up. “Everyone following along? Good! As I was saying, the enzyme penetrates the cells and targets the genes responsible for sexual characteristics.”

Did she have to say ‘penetrate’ in that voice?

“It’s interesting to note”, she said licking those ruby lips, “that saliva readily breaks down the enzyme, so oral sex does not exist as a viable method of introducing the crucial sexual transformation required to propagate the species. What’s that mean for you, you might ask? What? In the butt, of course!”

After the choking and sputtering and coughing fits died down, she elaborated. “When you think about it, anal sex is a perfect method for introduction of the enzyme into the blood stream. It often can cause tearing of the mucosa, the tissue that lines the rectum. A perfect way for something to enter the bloodstream.”

I was having cold sweats and my mouth was dry. All this nightmare fuel, the causes of my anxieties and fears, and it’s being delivered by a woman so sexy that she could talk people in the hottest jungles of Brazil to buy fireplaces. It wasn’t fair.

“Pain and blood and looking at the uncertainty of your future as an entirely different person than you were. ‘Why would you want to do that?’, you may ask. The biological drive to reproduce isn’t something to be laughed at. Male cats have sharp spines on their penis, but they mate because the female’s reproductive cycle sends them into heat. It is very similar for humans. When you reach puberty, your body produces strong pheromones. Everyone’s pheromones differ, and when your body senses a desirable scent, it responds to that scent by altering it’s own to become desirable to the one that it first detects. Of course, these scents are most often too faint to be consciously recognized, though not always.”, She continued, taking off her blazer and fanning herself with the roll book.

Geez, this woman… a woman that could make Aphrodite lose to her in a beauty contest was talking about heat and scents and she was fanning herself. How has nobody in here passed out from lack of blood to the brain? I crossed my legs, then thought better of it, and uncrossed them.

“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”, she asked as she walked to the window. Well, walked isn’t so much accurate, as perhaps sauntered. She let out a little groan as she tried to open the window, but it didn’t budge. She bent down, showcasing that ass to everyone, then tried again, lifting with those sexy legs.

“Could one of you big, strong boys possibly open this for little ol’ me?” she asked, with that pouty mouth.

When nobody stood up, she let out a cute little “Hmph!”, and walked back to the front of the class.

“Now, does anyone have any questions… about the lesson, I mean”, she asked.

One brave soul raised his hand. “So basically, you mean that if someone smells right to you, you suddenly fall for them?”, he asked rather skeptically.

“Well”, she said, “It’s a little more complicated than that. Your body puts out these chemicals that are designed to trigger responses in a receptive person’s scent receptors. Right now you are all probably emitting various different scents. Now it seems that your individual receptors haven’t picked up a compatible scent, because I haven’t seen anyone’s eves straying from myself”.

We all probably blushed when she said this, but most of us were probably good enough to hide it.

Walking up to the whiteboard, she drew two stick figures on the board, and over them the traditional symbol for male, the shield and spear of Mars.

“Now let’s say this first boy is named ‘Jon’, and his counterpart here… is named “Dick”, she said with a smirk.

Waiting for the obvious laughter to stop, she went on, “Now Jon here has entered puberty, and is emitting his pheromones.”

She took a marker and drew wavy lines between them in blue, signifying the scent.

“Dick, here,”, she continued, “inhales these chemical markers, and his olfactory system analyzes their chemical constitution. Recognizing it as a preferred chemical compound, it sends a signal to the glands that produce his own pheromones. This signal directs them to modify their chemical compound to match. Simultaneously, the body starts to flood his system with hormones. The result is a heightened state of sexual attraction and arousal.”

She moved in front of her desk, leaning against it, showing off those magnificent legs, covered in those smokey dark luxurious hose.

If there is a God, please don’t let them find my dead body with a stiffy.

Seemingly oblivious to the consternation she was causing, Miss Petri began again. “In turn Jon’s system responds in kind to the altered musk that Dick is producing. This in turn also sends him into the mating drive, or as it’s often called, ‘the rut’. With both of them in their mating drive, they will seek to copulate.. such a stale word, I know… but better than say, ‘do the deed’, or any one of a number of slang terms.”

I swear this woman is trying to get her jollies by seeing if she can kill us all with blue balls.

“If Dick were the one to penetrate Jon and introduce his semen into Jon’s body, his enzymes would likely enter Jon’s bloodstream, where they would replicate, passing from cell to cell as they make their alterations.”

She sauntered over to the ‘Jon’ stick figure, and erased the male symbol, replacing it with the familiar Venus’ hand mirror symbol that symbolizes femininity.

“At the same time as Jon’s transformation has initiated, chemicals produced in Jon’s anal glands would cover Dick’s penis, and be absorbed through the skin into his bloodstream. These chemicals would then cause the malleability of the DNA to become locked from gender change. The result would be that Dick will be a Dick for the rest of his life, but Jon will never just be any old ordinary Jane.” With that said, she laughed and put the marker on the desk.

There was awkward silence, and then a timid hand shot up.

“Yes?”, she said. Peering seductively over her glasses. “You have a question, Rod?” The way she said ‘Rod’, made everyone squirm in their seats, not the least of all was Rodney, himself.

Rodney Reed, a gangly boy I knew casually, squeaked out his question in the most uncomfortable high pitched voice imaginable. “Is… is it true what they say, that sometimes guys don’t change, and they become chicks with dicks?”

Miss Petri looked down over the top of her glasses, in that stern school marm way. If it were allowed, you would think that Rodney would get the ruler.

In an exasperated way, she responded. “While it is true that there have been occasions where a boy has undergone an incomplete transformation, and has retained his male genitals, despite otherwise becoming a fully genetic female, those cases are so incredibly rare that only a small handful have ever been reported in all the time since the first advent of rutting behavior began.”

In that moment I almost felt sorry for Rodney… almost.

After looking up at the clock, she spoke once again. “Now if you strapping young lads are finished, that’s about all the time we have for today. The girls will be joining us tomorrow, and we will begin on the study of biology in earnest.”

After the bell rang, Miss Petri lingered in the hallway, smiling as the boys left, almost to a man, they were all walking slowly and stiffly, with their books and backpacks awkwardly carried in front of their groins.

From her neighboring chemistry classroom doorway, Miss Adelaine, stood watching.

“Honestly Sonja”, the tall slender blonde woman said, “You are a sexual harassment lawsuit just waiting to happen. The way you tease and torment these boys is just too much”.

Miss Petri glanced over at her, associate. She was taller than herself, quite nearly 6’ tall. She had a slender whispy build, very much in stark contrast to her own. Looking right at her, she spoke, her usual sexualized mannerisms quite restrained. “In all seriousness, these boys have a lot of hardship and trouble ahead of them. I remember how I was at that age. Sure they might see me as a fantasy now, but for many of them, perhaps even most of them, that will change as they grow and mature and change. In any event, there is no need for any concern. I have the most loving, most wonderful girlfriend in the world, and most of the time, I wonder how I got so lucky to get her.”

At the end of her statement, the air of sexuality returned, and a smile peeked at the corner of her lips.

Miss Adelaine, smirked back and simply said, “Yes, I suppose you do, at that.”

As always, I want to hear your thoughts. I ADORE comments, and if you want to play in my Rut-Sandbox, drop me a message with any questions you may have!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 3.

Fifth period came none too soon, recalling the horror that was biology class. Baseball and picturing the president in a bikini had gotten me through the hallways with nothing embarrassing at full mast. Then again that, goofy hair and strange orange complexion.. eww.. and it was blatantly obvious that ‘those’ were fake. Still eww.

I looked around and sat down and looked around. The study hall was an elective, and as such there were more girls than my other classes, since there were students from all grades. I heard a throat clear, and looked to my left. Janie was there. Alright! A friendly face. Roll was taken and it was obvious that for the teacher, this was a ‘whatever’ class. Hidden behind the newspaper, he seemed oblivious to the make-up sessions, sports talk, and general lack of homework being done.

Janie leaned over. “I had the worst class last hour. When I got to biology, I was told to report to the auditorium for a special lecture. Turned out to be a ‘your body and you’ talk. What a nightmare!”

I nodded. “I think we are in the same class. Miss Petri? You lucked out. Having her describe sex and stuff was an hour of blue balls.”

Janie giggled sheepishly, “Won’t miss those, at least.”

We settled in and helped each other with our homework. I had liked James before, but I had never really been one for close friends. I wasn’t unpopular, and I had plenty of acquaintances, but I never really made close friends.

I think Janie caught on to that. “Casey, would you be my friend?”, she asked. “I mean we kinda always were, sort of. But I mean more than before.” She looked down, nervous.

“I don’t really have any friends, not any more. My male friends… I can’t really relate to them anymore. I don’t feel comfortable when they all sit around looking at girls, for obvious reasons. And none of my old friends have changed. I don’t fit in with the older girls, I still kind of feel like an impostor”.

I smiled and looked her in the eyes, and gave her my cheesiest smile. “Sure, but I reserve the right to oggle you from time to time, and act like a pig occasionally, and maybe even ask to touch your boobs!”

I laughed as loud as was safely possible.

She blushed and smiled. “Who knows? I might even let you”, she said.

When I choked and started coughing, she looked over at me and stuck out her tongue. No fair, girls have weapons that we can’t resist.

I felt really good after class. That is, until I ran into...him. Paul Bettany. Dumb jackass was standing out in front of the freshman lockers. I looked at him and was furious. He had hurt Janie badly. Of course by legal standards it couldn’t be proven as rape, because of the infamous ‘Rut defense’, there were legal precedents where partners had forced the other person into becoming the one to become female. But these were hard cases to prove, due to the temporary insanity defense. Lawyers successfully had argued that due intense hormonal states, the would-be aggressors lacked the state of mind to control their actions. Janie hadn’t reported Paul, nor had she told anyone else, but she had told me. He raped her. He had forced her into the change, against her will.

I snuck over, Paul was unaware of my presence. I tapped him on the shoulder, and as he turned, he turned right into my fist. I had gotten in the first shot, and a good shot it was.

“You sick bastard”, I screamed at him. “I know what you did! You raped James. You forced yourself on him, and now because of that, your smug-ass has forced him… her to be something that she didn’t want … for the rest of her life!”

Paul stood up, blood dripping from his nose a little. “Yeah, I did it. So what? I’m a real man, and now I’ll always be a real man. No becoming a sissy fag like that. And you know what? It could have just as easily been you, Spacey Casey.”

I let out an involuntary shiver. He was a sociopath. I looked him square in the eye and taunted him. “If you think that all women are ‘sissy fags’, then you better get really comfy with your hand, because that’s all that’s out there.”

He took a swing at me, and I ducked. Satisfaction beamed on my face as his fist connected with the metal frame of the locker I had been standing in front of. Watching him buckle and fall to the floor in obvious pain was one of the best feelings I had ever had.

The bell had rang for next period, and we were all late, but it was worth it. When the Hall monitor came over, I was pleased that it was one of the female teachers.

“What’s going on here?”, she asked. The crowd that had been hanging around and watching our argument had swiftly dispersed.

“I saw the whole thing, it was terrible.”, I said. “Paul slipped on a wet spot and landed awkwardly. I think he should go see the nurse, he might have a broken wrist”.

He looked over at me, glaring. He knew I had won this round. The teacher helped him up carefully, and they were both on their way to the Nurse’s office, when I turned and walked to my class, presenting the late pass she had given me, a reward for “assisting” Paul.

The rest of the day went by, I didn’t see Paul again, and nothing of note went on. I spotted Janie as we were getting ready to go home.

“I heard that Paul had an accident in the hallway after 5th period. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”, She inquired.

I gave her my best innocent face. “Who me?”, I deadpanned.

“Guess not”, she said, and then with a devilish twinkle in her eye. “Shame, if you had been defending my honor, you might just have gotten to touch my boobs after all”.

She laughed and gave me a hug, before heading off to her bus. I didn’t live that far from the school, so I ended up walking home.

When I entered the door, I was hit by the smell of freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies. Mom was home.

“I’m home!”, I called out. I headed over to the couch and sat down. I had finished most of my homework with Janie, so I didn’t have much to do. Just some reading, and I could do that before bed.

Mom walked into the room and sat down beside me. I smiled, but mostly I stared into space. Mom was good at reading my moods. She picked up a cookie and waved it in front of my eyes. “For your thoughts?”, she inquired.

“It’s supposed to be a penny”, I said. Though I would much rather have one of Mom’s cookies.

I sighed. “Remember my friend James?”, I asked.

Mom got that far-away thinking look that she always got when concentrating. “Oh! Paul and Debbie’s boy? How is he?”

I gave a half-hearted smile. “Her name is Janie now”, I said with a noticeable sigh.

Mom picked up on that, but said nothing. She had always been very perceptive.

“He ended up with a total creep that practically raped her. She’s trying, but I know she’s having issues.”

My mother nodded. “It can be difficult. I never told you how your Dad and I got together. I had wanted to wait for the right time. It seems that right now is just as good as any.”

Stopping to take a cookie, she bit into it and ate it before continuing. “I was lucky, your father and I had grown up as neighbors and best friends ever since we were really little. When I turned 13, we had a long talk about things. I was already 6’2” tall, and your father was about the same height as he is now.
I knew that he was scared. So when the time came, and we found out that we were meant to be together, I told him that I wanted him to stay the same. I knew that because he’s short, as a girl he might become smaller yet. And with me as tall as I was, it would be too awkward having a boyfriend that was possibly over a foot taller… or more.”

I looked at my mom in a new light. “Weren’t you scared? I mean you gave up so much to please him”.

Mom smiled. “I don’t think I gave anything up, and I think I gained more than I ever could have imagined.”

Mom gave me a hug, and took the plate of cookies and headed back to the kitchen.

I had always thought Mom was incredible. She was tall, at 5’10”, and beautiful. She wore her long blonde hair in a ponytail that reached the small of her back. She was fit, and her blue eyes always seemed to have a sparkle in them. Her athletic prowess hadn’t passed to me, certainly. Having led the U.S. in an upset win in the Olympics in volleyball, I had heard that she had received offers for endorsements, modeling jobs, acting cameos, and more. Instead she quietly retired, married Dad and had me. She now works as a personal fitness trainer and occasional substitute gym teacher.

Now I realized Mom was even more incredible than I gave her credit for.

I sat on the couch and flipped through my English book, reading the assigned chapter, but not really taking it in. Dad came home a couple hours later. He came over and tussled my hair playfully.

“How was the first day of school?”, he asked. I shrugged it off. Mom would no doubt tell him later.

“It was okay, I guess”, I responded.

Dad ran upstairs and came down a few minutes later. He had changed out of his suit and tie, and had on a t-shirt and some shorts. “Wanna have a catch?”, he asked.

I loved Dad, he wasn’t the most athletic guy, but he tried. I was already a couple inches taller than he was. He stayed in shape, or more likely Mom made sure of it. We ate fairly healthy and got in plenty of exercise. I had inherited most of my looks from him. Same brown eyes and hair, same small frame, at least Mom’s height had given me those 2 inches on him.

Mom brought dinner out and we all sat on the patio, enjoying the September sun. We had Watermelon and lemonade after finishing her delicious baked chicken caesar salads. Mom went and got her glove and we played catch and hotbox and pickle in the middle and had an awesome evening. After it got dark, I sat in my room looking out at the stars and thinking of Janie. I was lucky, and I hoped that I would continue to have good luck.

I got changed and went to bed, a smile on my face. The day had gone better than I had hoed for, there were no disasters, no crisis had befallen me. I had strengthened a friendship, and everything was right in the world. Tomorrow would be another day, surely nothing could go wrong.

~o~O~o~

I love your replies, and if you want to play in the Rut Universe, please drop me a message with any questions you might have.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 4.

I grabbed an umbrella from the door-side stand, and slung my bookbag over his shoulder. It was hot and humid, and the rain did nothing to help the situation. Arriving At school 15 minutes later, I was drenched. Shaking off the excess rain, I headed to the locker area. Something was noticeably wrong. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t help but look around, anticipating something. What was going on?

The intense feeling seemed to subside when I got to class, only to spike again in the hallways. I managed to make it through to lunch, but I was nervous. What was wrong with me? I sat at the now-usual table. Janie came in and sighed, pushing her bag lunch away and resting her head on the table.

I glanced over at her, and raised an eyebrow.

She looked back at me and mumbled,”First period”.

“Teacher pile on the homework?”, I asked sympathetically.

She looked at me incredulously and sighed. “Boys..”

“Oh.. OH!”, I exclaimed. “I’m sorry.” As a peace offering, I reached into my bag and produced that which I had been saving, Mom’s prized cookies.

Janie took the peace offering gladly and glanced at me. “Are you okay?”, she said,
”You look like I feel”.

I sighed and related to her the strange sensation I’d been having in the hallway. She bit her lip and frowned noticeably.

“Sounds to me like you caught a whiff of a boy who piqued your interest. I felt the same way before, well… you know.”, She patted me on the back as my face probably was very pale.

I didn’t want it to be that. If it were, there was a boy somewhere in the school that was a match to me. Someone that was near the freshmen locker area between classes. Janie and I finished lunch quietly, each of us focusing on our own problems. We walked to the locker area. My heart raced, but I didn’t see them. I knew they had been there recently. The logical part of my brain dreaded us meeting, but somewhere, that illogical, emotional part buried way deep down was thrilled.

Thankfully today was more subdued than yesterday, Miss Petri was still blatantly being sexy, but when talking about cellular division in microscopic organisms, it somewhat lost the impact it had had the day before.

I looked over at Janie, who was clearly having a rough go of it. * sigh* would that be my future? I shuddered and hoped not. Class ended after entirely too much time, and I walked with Janie back to the lockers. Picking up the books I needed, I waited on her. That sense of exhilaration was still with me, but I couldn’t pick out the cause. It was only a matter of time before we ran into each other, me and my mysterious match. I thought of all sorts of illogical possibilities, like taking everything to all classes, but that wasn’t practical.

Fleeing the scene, I arrived at study hall, moments before Janie. She put her head down and took the opportunity to rest. I gathered she was cramping rather badly, but I wasn’t going to say anything about it directly. I just rubbed her back a little as she sat there hunched over. That got me a brief smile, then she put her head down again.

I managed to get most of my homework from my earlier classes finished, and with gym and art left, I most likely wouldn’t have any more. At lunch, I had noticed that the rain had let up. We would most likely be out on the track for gym, if it had dried enough.

After we were put through our paces out on the track, I headed back to the locker room. Being sweaty after running in 90 degree weather, I needed one. I hurried in and took my shower, scrubbing extra hard. I knew it was futile. No amount of scented soap or cologne would be able to hide me. I would have to run into ‘him’ eventually.

I slipped into the art room with no difficulty, considering myself lucky. I watched the clock, dreading when class would be over. The hour seemed more like five, as it crept along. When the bell rang, I ran to the lockers, hoping to avoid the mystery guy.

No such luck. I rounded the corner, and ran straight into fate. In this case, fate’s name is DeShaun McAllister. I knew of him, but had never been particularly close to him. He lived on the other side of town, and we didn’t interact much. I looked up into those deep brown eyes and squirmed, trying to get away. He grabbed my wrist, to keep me there. I struggled in vain to get away. Bart of me didn’t want to, an increasingly big part. My brain fought against my hormones. He was hot, nearly 6’ tall, and that dark rich chocolate skin looked... it looked too kissable. Why was I thinking that? I barely knew him. But the more I sat there struggling against his grip, the less I wanted to struggle.

In a daze, I got up and onto my feet. We looked each other in the eyes, a silent acknowledgment made that we needed to go somewhere more private. Leading me out of the building, we snuck off to the woods behind the school. I was sweating, but not from the heat. I was in full rut, lost in hormones and emotions. My rational portion of my mind cried out, but it was like it was trapped behind plexiglass.

We got further into the trees, obscured from any prying eyes. He sad me down and leaned in. I looked at him and licked my lips. I was lost in his eyes and his face. Our lips met and gently kissed, tentatively. Then harder, and harder. Our tongues slipped into each other’s mouth, exploring. Hands groped at my back, as I likewise pawed at his shirt. I begged him to take mine off, in between kisses. As he did, I raked at his, fumbling to remove it.

I looked at his bare chest, those exquisite muscles flexing as he reached for my pants. In my head, I could hear the little nagging voice screaming, but I didn’t care. I was lost in a sea of testosterone.
Our pants joined the pile of clothing, as I leaned him onto his back. Our raging erections briefly touched as I positioned to lick his pecs. I was breathing hard, and he was moaning audibly as well.

Mmmm... those abs. As I slid down those washboards, I shivered in anticipation of what lay below. He arched at my touch and startled slightly as my lips paused on the head of his dick. I hungrily took it in and sucked and swirled my tongue around it. As he moaned and panted. Our bodies were both covered in sweat, as we rubbed together. He slid around and began to lick my cock. I bit my lip hard, and tasted the iron taste of blood. I was too lost in sensation to care. Hormones coursed through us, shoving rational thought aside. We were wild animals, lost in the rut.

After licking and sucking each other, I was lost in a haze of endorphins, I turned and felt him against me. I got on my knees, and we faced each other, tasting each other’s lips again. I was so lost in the experience that I didn’t notice that he had re-positioned behind me, not until it was too late. I moaned and mewled as he kissed my neck, realizing too late that he was kissing me from behind.
I was helpless, I couldn’t get out a coherent word. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and that voice that was whispering in the back of my head began to scream.

I nearly choked and screamed as he bent me over, and when he pushed into me, I cried out in a combination of ecstasy and pain and regret and shame. I whimpered as he thrust back and forth into my painful ass. He grunted and groaned as he pistoned in and out of me, the pain not helped at all by the slick blood covering my ass and his dick. When he finally came inside me, there was a loud scream, but I wasn’t sure if it came from him, or from me. I orgasmed with him, and the sheer exertion caused us to pass out from fatigue. Adding insult to injury, I lay in my own cum, as he lay on top of me.

I woke up not knowing how long it had been, but the sun was further towards the horizon. He had fallen asleep cradling me in his arms, and I very carefully extricated myself. Gathering my clothes, I painfully put them back on, and crept out of the underbrush. The walk home was unbearable, pain coursing through my entire body. I felt light-headed as I reached the door to my house.

I opened the door, and walked in slowly. Mom was in the living room, cleaning. I stumbled over to her, and collapsed into her arms. I didn’t have to say anything, it was obvious by my bloody clothes, and the blood on my thighs. She just sat there cradling me and holding me tight.

I heard her reassuring voice telling me that everything would be alright, and that she would take me to see our doctor tomorrow. Very gently, she picked me up and carried me up to my room. She helped me off with my bloody clothes, and began to draw a bath. I only vaguely remember any of it. I know she washed me, like she did when I was little, but I was so out of it that I don’t remember just when she was done, nor when she managed to get pajamas on me.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

I didn’t sleep comfortably, as nightmares haunted me. I had nightmares of being stuck between genders, not fully male, not fully female. Others involved my giving birth painfully. In some, I had boobs that were so big, I couldn’t stand. The most terrifying ones involved Paul Bettany raping me.

I woke up several times with night sweats, and more than once, I woke up screaming. Mom came in to check on me when I did, and she stayed until I managed to fall asleep again.

Eventually morning came, and I got up to face the music. I was afraid of what Mom and Dad would say or think, but they were calm and reassuring. There was no shouting, no screaming, no telling me I was a disappointment.

Dad was the one that spoke first. “I’m sorry Casey, I feel like this is our fault. We should have been more forthcoming with you. I know that the rut is a shock if you aren’t prepared. We had planned to talk to you about it, but we figured we would have more time. You are only 13, and that’s on the early side for the rut to take effect. We should have done better”, he admitted solemnly.

Mom placed her hand on his shoulder, in that way that Moms do. She chewed her lip and spoke. “Casey, are you okay? I know you told me what happened to Jame… er, Janie. I know you were worried about it being violent. He didn’t force himself on you, did he? If he did, it’s not your fault.”

I lowered my head and the tears started. “No, it is my fault. It’s all my fault! I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t speak. I was so lost and confused and swept up in the moment that I couldn’t say no. I failed. I deserve what I got! Meek little me, unable to say what he wants. I was always afraid of it happening, and it did! I got what I deserved!” I stormed off, up the stairs. I got to my room, and I slammed the door. Gingerly, I laid down on my stomach and cried into the bedspread. I just lay there crying, not even hearing Mom talking through the door.

~o~O~o~

I adore hearing your feedback. Please leave a comment. And if you want to play in the Rut Universe, drop me a message with any questions you might have.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 5.

Mom opened the door and came in, sitting beside me. She gently rubbed my back and then softly spoke. “You need to get up, we have an appointment to go see Dr. Foster soon.”

I groaned and got up slowly. I was still very sore and moving hurt. I dragged myself to the bathroom, and changed out of my pajamas. I looked at my body. I wasn’t muscular, but I didn’t hate what I saw. It was a moot point though, as I knew I would never be this person again. I would get smaller, more delicate, I’d end up being fragile. I wasn’t that big as a guy. So I knew it would be worse for me as a girl. I looked at my penis, 7” wasn’t much to brag about, but I was pleased with it. And soon it’d be gone.

I took my shower, very careful to not touch my ass. Even the water touching it hurt like a mother fu…

“Casey! Get ready. We’re leaving in 15 minutes!”, came the cry from downstairs. I sighed and threw on some sweats and a hoodie and walked slowly down the stairs. I hung my head and walked the walk of shame to the garage. I was on automatic as I climbed into the passenger seat of Mom’s car. If she talked to me, I didn’t hear it. I just gazed out the window and pretended to watch the scenery go past.

We got to the office, and I hung my head there. Dr. Foster had been my pediatrician since before I could even remember, and I knew him and Nurse Betty quite well. So when it came time to go in, I stayed behind Mom and tried to be as unnoticeable as possible. I pretended to flip through a Sports Illustrated as I sat there uncomfortably. My ass was killing me, and was an unwelcome reminder of my problems.

When Nurse Betty finally called us into the exam room, I just looked away. She drew some blood, and I winced, but said nothing. She left and Doctor Foster came in. He was a tall man, easily 6’6”. He had a thin build and when I was younger, I was scared of him, and how he towered over me. Right now, I just looked at him, and his graying hair and goatee.

Doctor Foster cleared his throat, and then addressed us. “Hello Casey, I understand you had your rut, and need a check-up. I’ll try to be as gentle as possible.”

He looked over at Mom, and nodded. She took the hint, and left. After she was gone, he asked me to lay go behind the privacy certain, and change into one of those embarrassing paper gowns that hang open in the back. I did so, and came out. He motioned for me to hop up on the exam table.

“First things first, I’d like to do a quick exam to see if there was any damage to your anus, if that’s alright.”, He said it softly, in his best attempt to not embarrass me, but that was an impossible task.
I did as he said, and laid down on my side, as he probed. I winced in pain as he did his check-up.

“There is some tearing of the mucosa membrane, and some small anal fissures. Those should heal fairly quickly, but I’ll prescribe some lidocaine and Ibuprofen to help with the pain and discomfort.”, He said while I sat up. He took my temperature and blood pressure, and helped me up onto the scale.

“Hm… 162 Lbs. Now Let’s get your height.” After I stepped off the scale, he led me to the wall, and I stood up straight in front of the height chart. “Hmmm, 5’7 and 1/4 inches.”, he said as he wrote it down into my record.

I sat back down on the exam table, and he performed other routine tests. Hearing, reflexes, and so forth. Truthfully, I tuned it all out until he told me I could hop down and get changed back into my clothes. I ducked behind the privacy curtain and got dressed again, sighing. After I had gotten dressed, Dr. Foster left the room for a moment.

When he came back in, Mom was with him. He cleared his throat and spoke in that well-practiced neutral doctor voice. “We have the results from your blood test back. The catalyst enzyme was detected in your bloodstream in sufficient quantities. Based on that, I can safely say that you will transition. Normally, you should begin to notice minor signs in about 5-9 days. You might notice that the hair on your arms and legs is lighter or has started to fall out. Your nipples might feel sensitive or swollen, and in some cases there might be a slight change of coloration to the irises. I would like to make appointments for every two weeks or so, so that we can track your progress. Stop by and talk to Betty to schedule the follow-ups, Mrs. Church.”

I sighed and my shoulders slumped. It’s official. I’m a girl.

I got up and walked out with Mom, She stopped and talked with Nurse Betty at the reception desk. I pretended to not listen, but I couldn’t help but catch the concern when Mom was handed a bunch of pamphlets, and heard Nurse Betty mention the possibility of talking to a psychiatric professional, and I jolted upright when I heard mention of symptoms of depression to watch for and possible suicidal indicators.

I felt the tears trickle down my face, as I bit my lip. I remained quiet as we got in the car. Mom quickly turned off the radio. We drove home in silence. We turned into the driveway and parked. After we entered the house, Mom spoke up.

“If you want to talk, or anything, you know your Dad and I love you, no matter what, and we are here-”

I turned with the tears streaming down my face and yelled out, “I don’t want to talk about it!”
Pushing past her, I ran upstairs and slammed the door.

I collapsed onto the bed again, sobbing. I heard the doorbell, and Mom talking to someone. I buried my head under the pillows, and wept. There was a knock on the door. I pulled my head out from hiding.

“Mom, just leave me alone, okay?” I said in a hoarse voice.

A voice I had come to recognize the past couple days spoke up. “Casey, it’s Janie… can I come in?”

I got up and walked over to the door and let her in.

“I brought your homework, I was concerned when you-” she looked at my face tears streaming down it. And she gasped. “Something happened, didn’t it?”

I nodded and spoke, “I...I...he found me. I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t say anything. I sat there like a useless lump and let him do it to me. I didn’t even say no. I deserve this! It’s my fault!”

She put her books down on the dresser beside the bed and sat down. I sat down beside her, then slumped over. She patted her lap gently and I lay my head in it.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I understand. You are not at fault. I was raped, and I still had a hard time crying out or struggling or saying no. It’s too… intense, you feel lost. I know. But remember, you are not to blame. You are not worthless.”, she spoke softly as she rubbed my head gently.

“You will get through this, because I will be there to help you. I will be there for you. Did you know that after it happened, I tried to kill myself?”, she said in a quiet voice.

I turned over and looked at her. She was chewing on her lower lip. “I know what you are feeling, I felt it all too. The loss of what you had, the failure to protect your masculinity. I got so low that I went into the bathroom one night and downed half a bottle of aspirin. If my Dad hadn’t found me, and called the paramedics, I wouldn’t be here. And I look back at that, and thank my lucky stars every day.”, She said this in an almost whisper quiet voice.

“I’m still lost”, She mused. “But I have to fight my way through it. And I was at a low point the other day, when I ran into you. You listened. Nobody else did, well nobody else our age.”

She smiled before continuing. “I’m still struggling to figure out who I am now. I’m not the old me. You knew me then. I was more adventurous. Remember when we raided Old Man Douglas’ orchard and tee-pee’d the whole thing?”, She laughed as she got a far away look in her eyes.

“I’m still trying to cope with this new me. All this damned estrogen flooding my system. Between that and… the rape… I’m more scared, I jump at shadows now. I feel meek. But I also know I’m brave. And I have to be.”

She squirmed and rubbed her stomach. “Damned cramps.” She winced as she said that, I know she thought better of mentioning it in front of me right now, but I put up a brave front and nodded.

After a sigh, she continued, “You don’t know how much you helped me the other day, just listening and talking to me. My therapist says I’m making progress, but I don’t know. It’s so confusing. I know I’m not James anymore, but I don’t know if I’m Jane all the way yet. I look at girls still, and am attracted to them. I don’t know if that will fade with time, or if I always will be. But now I find myself more and more attracted to boys.”

She looked me in the eyes before speaking. “I wish it had been someone like you, I don’t know maybe I would have picked being a girl, maybe not. But it would have been my choice. I’m sorry that your choice was taken away.”

I sat up, and she moved to sit close to me. She spoke in a soft voice. “I don’t know how much help I can be, I’m still trying to figure out things myself, and I certainly don’t know much about being a girl yet... but I will be here all the same when you need me, and when you need to talk. And I know I will need to lean on you too, from time to time.”

I turned my head to look at her, and when I did, she leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed her back, softly at first, then a little more aggressively. She returned my kiss with an open mouth and we sat for a few minutes just kissing harder and harder. She took my hand in hers and guided it to her chest. I momentarily panicked before she broke the kiss.

“It’s okay”, she said. “Your mother ran to fill your prescriptions, and she said that she would be a while running other errands, though I think she said that because she knew you needed someone to talk to.”

I looked her in the eyes, it wasn’t fair. She was beautiful and the perfect girl for me. I wished things could have been different.

I nodded to her, and she took off her shirt, exposing herself. She had on a lacy white bra that presented her modest breasts. She blushed and unfastened the clasp in the front, before sliding the bra off. She nodded and I gently raised my hand and felt them, cupping them gently. She closed her eyes and laid back on the bedspread. I pressed close to her and slowly moved my mouth to her right breast. With a sad sigh, I gently took her nipple in my mouth and lay there in her reassuring embrace as the tears once again began to flow. I couldn’t see her face, but if I had been able to, I would have seen that she was crying as well. Even if she was smiling.

~o~O~o~

As always, I appreciate and ADORE comments. And if you want to play in the Rut Universe, drop me a message about any questions you might have.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 6.

Janie and I lay there in silence, just listening to each other’s hearts racing. In the quiet I felt peaceful and relaxed, the first time in ages. After what seemed like forever, but likely was less than an hour, I heard the familiar sound of the garage door opening. Janie gently pulled away, sat up and put her bra and shirt back on. I sighed and laid my head in her lap.

Mom came up a short time later, and knocked on the door.

“Come in, it’s open!”, I said, my head still in Janie’s lap. She was stroking my hair softly. Mom poked her head in, and placed the medications on the dresser.

“Janie, would you like to stay over for dinner?” She asked.

Janie smiled that adorable smile that melted my heart. “I would love to, but I do need to get back home. Perhaps another night.” She waited for me to lift my head, and demurely stood up, smoothing her skirt.

Janie was first out the door, and Mom turned and gave me a little knowing smile. I fought off the blush, and got up, following them down the stairs. Mom offered Janie a ride, and while she was gone, Dad came in from work. Seeing me sitting on the couch, he came over and sat down.

Dad opened his mouth, then closed it, like he was trying out what to say in his mind. Finally he spoke, “I know this is difficult, and I’m sorry if we weren’t there for you. But I do want to let you know that your mother and I will always love you. And if you want to talk about anything, we are here. Now this boy… um…”

“DeShaun”, I volunteered quietly.

“DeShaun”, He said rolling the name around in his brain. “He didn’t force you into this, did he? He didn’t threaten or intimidate you, or anything?”

I sighed. “No Dad. He didn’t do anything like that. It’s my fault. I couldn’t speak up. I couldn’t say no. I just sat there helpless.”

Dad looked at me and frowned. He got up and tussled my hair. “How about after dinner you and I go down to the park and shoot some hoops?”, he said.

I might not be the greatest athlete and I don’t take after Mom that much, but I knew I could beat Dad in horse or one on one. “It’s a deal!”, I said.

The next day came and I walked into class reluctantly. I knew there were eyes watching my every move. It’s not often that one misses a day so close to the beginning of school. Second period ended and I went out to the lockers.

I reached my locker and heard a murmur go through the assembled crowd. I turned and saw the reason. Paul Bettany was racing towards me, a cast on his right hand. He was furious.

“Pipsqueak Church, you are gonna pay. The Doctor says it’s broken, and I’m gonna miss the entire football season.”, he bellowed.

I looked at him, I didn’t have time for his bullshit. “I’m not the one that punched a metal locker, you are”, I retorted. “Personally, I couldn’t care less if you never played football ever again. You raped James, and forced him to become a girl, against his wishes!”

A hush came over the spectators. Paul was livid, I could see it in his big, dumb eyes.

“So what if I did? Bond was a pansy. He deserved it. He would have never been a real man. Now he’s what he should be. And I’m a real man. Yeah, I did it, and tell you what. I heard what happened, you got it in the ass the other day, you are as big a sissy fag as he is!”, he said in a clear rage.

I was pissed. How had he found out? Was DeShaun bragging to everyone? Seething, I barked back at him. “So what? So what if I’m going to become a girl. Even as a girl, I’ll still be more of a man than you’ll ever be!”

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him. My secret was out. Everyone would know. I didn’t have time to think about it though, because I saw him wind up with his good arm. With his fist coming directly at my face, I did the only thing I could do. I let my knees buckle, and I dropped purposefully to the ground. Paul’s fist sailed over my head, and with a satisfying metallic bang, I heard him once again punch a locker.

Paul crumpled to the ground, screaming obscenities and death threats. I looked at him, and unsteadily got back up. I heard a throat clear, and looking over I saw Miss Petri and Principal Lewis. Standing there.

I looked sheepishly over at them. “Erm… how long were you standing there?” I asked, afraid of the possible repercussions.

Mr. Lewis, a tall imposing man with piercing eyes and dark complexion spoke in that voice of his, that voice that would make James Earl Jones sign up for voice lessons from him. “Long enough. Miss Petri, take the names of everyone here, should we need to get statements from them.” He looked down at Paul, who was curled in a ball by this point, whimpering quietly. “I suppose we better call an ambulance for Mr. Bettany here. Then I need to get his Father on the phone, and tell him that his son is being expelled.”
I stood there in shock. Mr. Lewis looked down at me, which wasn’t just because of my height. He was easily 6’7”, if not taller. “Don’t look too shocked, Casey”, he said to me.

“After the first incident, we’ve been keeping an eye on him. And with his admission to rape just now, he won’t be welcome here ever again. Contrary to what some students think, we are not the enemy, and we are hear to keep you safe and let you learn in a safe environment. As for you, I’ll give you a pass excusing you from your next class. Please go to the school counselor.” Mr. Lewis patted me on the head, and wrote out a pass.

I sat in the office as Mrs. Archibald came in. She was a small woman, much smaller than me. She was older and had that warm grandma vibe going for her. She reached into a large purse and pulled out a pair of glasses. She sat down and pulled out a pen and paper from the bag, momentarily dropping some yarn and sewing needles.

“Casey Church, what brings you here today?” She asked in a pleasant tone.

“Mr. Lewis said I should speak to you. I...I sort of got into a situation with Paul Bettany”, I stammered.

She perked one eyebrow, before speaking. “Forgive my manners, would you like a cup of tea while we speak? I always have some handy.”

I smiled and nodded and took the glass of ice tea. After a few sips, I relaxed and talked to her about what was really on my mind. I felt a little better after hearing her words about how brave I was to face someone bigger than me, and how I had managed to keep Janie safe.

It was lunch, and despite the tea, I was feeling a little hungry. I stopped by my locker, and after some difficulty with the bent door, I managed to get it open. Grabbing my bagged lunch, I headed out to cafeteria, where Janie was waiting at our usual spot. She had tears in her eyes, and she hugged me tight.

“I heard what happened. I’m safe. I’m free of him. With all those witnesses, I never have to be afraid that he will try again. I called Daddy, and he said that he is going to call the police and have charges brought against Paul.”, Janie said while sobbing into my shoulder.

She kissed my cheek in front of the entire cafeteria, and there was a rousing ovation. I turned beet red, and then Janie stood up and laughed and shouted out. “Get a life, you all!”

She and I sat together and I held her hand through the entire meal.

She and I exchanged glances back and forth in biology class, as Miss Petri tried her best to melt the boys brains with her super-sexy descriptions of cellular mitosis.

I walked to my locker to get my books for study hall, and I glanced down the hallway, and saw DeShaun. He turned and caught my gaze, then quickly turned and fled in the other direction. I tried to follow, but with the in-between class traffic, it was like a goldfish trying to fight its way against the current of a raging river. I shook my head and headed off to the classroom.

Janie was there, and after roll call, we sat in the back of the room in a conspiratorial manner. She reached to hold my hand. I pulled mine short, and smiled at her.

I whispered to her. “I love you, that might seem funny to say after it’s just been a few days. It’s true though, and I wanted you to know. I don’t want to hurt you though by promising more than I can deliver.”
She looked at me and nodded softly. “I understand”, she said with a small smile.

We sat there for a moment, before I gathered up the courage to ask her the question. “Janie, what do you know about DeShaun McAllister?”

“Not much, why do you… oh.”, she said, her expression imperceptible. “Not much really, He lives on the other side of town and went to Hilltop, while we were at Lakeview. All I really know is that he’s supposed to be really athletic and gifted.”

I blushed as my mind strayed involuntarily to memories of my lips around his large dick. Gifted indeed.

Janie looked at me with concern. I tried to brush off the apparent worry on her face. “I was just curious, because he seems to be avoiding me. I guess I can’t blame him. Getting someone like me must be a disappointment.”, I stated.

She pulled my face towards her gently and said exactly the right thing. “Shut up, you incredible idiot.”
When she smirked, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Under the desks, where nobody could see, she gently patted my thigh, before her hand briefly dipped in between my legs. With a smile she withdrew it and we started helping each other with our homework in earnest.

I went to the gym, expecting an ordinary class. When I got there however, the teacher directed me to go to the office, and handed me a hall pass.

I got to the office and was met by Mr. Lewis. He could read the bewilderment on my face, and called me into his office. He smiled and spoke in a friendly manner, “Don’t worry, Mr. Church. You aren’t in any trouble. After this morning’s incident, I called your mother to clarify a few things. She confirmed your current situation, regarding possibly transitioning. The policy of the school board is that for any student that is transitioning, we remove them from athletics, both after-school and during school. It’s not a form of punishment, rather we know the tremendous strain that transitioning gender causes on the body, and we enacted this rule to safeguard your health. As such, I’m afraid that we have to pull you from gym class for this semester.”

I swallowed hard. That was a disappointment, but I understood. With hormones all over the place and the stresses on joints and ligaments and bones from the changes, physical activity could easily end up in a serious injury.

Mr. Lewis continued, “Unfortunately right now most of our elective classes during that period are full. The only class we could put you in was Home Economics. I know that you are dealing with a lot of injuries to your male pride, but please don’t think that putting you in Home Ec is in any way part of some ‘secret agenda’, in fact quite a few members of the various sports teams take the class at various times of the year.”

Sure, because they think it’s a cupcake class, no pun intended. I wasn’t going to say that out loud though.

“Anyhow, since it is Friday, I’ll write you a pass to use the library for this period. On Monday your schedule will officially be changed for this period.”, he finished speaking and gave me yet another of the fun little paper slips.

I was just collecting these babies left and right.

I went down to the library and presented my pass. Heading to the science section, I pulled a book on gender transitioning, and flipped through it, not paying too much attention to it. My mind was on other things. Things named DeShaun.

And after class, I saw the afore mentioned person. Managing to get close to him and his entourage, I stepped in front of him. He looked at me with no recognition on his face, and calmly dismissed me with a “Do I know you?”

I tried to speak, but once again, my voice faltered.

He pushed past me with some pretense about not wanting to be late for class. He didn’t look back once as I slumped to the floor, my entire being shattered.

~o~O~o~

I ADORE comments, so feel free to ask any questions or make any points you have.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 7.

I stumbled back to my feet eventually, and made my way to my locker somehow. Art class was a blur, I didn’t really remember anything. The week was over, and tomorrow was Saturday. At least I could veg and mope. It was hard to imagine that it had happened on Wednesday, it all seemed like a million years in the past. Of course, the fact it had happened then meant that next week, I’d start to show signs. But it wasn’t as if everyone knew, thanks to Paul.

I dragged myself home, and collapsed on the couch. I was content to lay there. Mom came in and saw me there, and headed back to the kitchen. She brought me some lemonade, and left me to my sulking.

Alas, solitary reflection was not to be. The doorbell rang, and I heard Mom get the door. “Casey, you have a visitor!”, she called from the foyer. Maybe Janie had come over.

I got up and walked to the foyer, where mom was standing at the door. I looked and saw him. DeShaun McAllister was on my doorstep. I sighed and motioned for him to come in. Mom retreated to the kitchen and brought the pitcher of lemonade, and some of her famous cookies. She discretely slipped off to her office to let us talk.

“Do I know you?”, I asked him with more than a bit of acid in my voice.

He sighed and looked down. “I suppose I deserve that”, he said while looking at the floor. “I came to apologize. I didn’t mean to brush you off like that at school, but I kind of panicked.”

I looked directly at him. “Yeah, I can imagine that getting a nobody like me for your rut must be disappointing. I won’t bother you at school.”, I said in a huff.

“That’s not what I meant. I..I.. it’s complicated”, he said.

I gave him an incredulous look. “I suppose, sorry I’m not going to be the blonde cheerleader type.”, I said sourly.

He sighed. “That would be even worse. It’s nothing about you, well it is, but it’s not your fault, it’s my family’s...”, he said softly.

I looked at him with a bewildered expression. He picked up on that and continued. “My family, well not me... but my family is very, adamant about me finding a nice black boy to be my girl. They are kind of resentful of white people. They think there is still a conspiracy to ‘keep the black man down’, and after what happened when my older br...sister met her now husband during their rut. He was a better athlete than I am, he was assured Division I scholarships, and maybe even the NBA. But they feel that he threw that all away. She got a scholarship at a small school and played there, but it wasn’t the same to them. They disowned her, and I have never even met my nephews.”

I hadn’t realized that I had scooted closer to him. Putting my arm around his shoulders, I tried to cheer him up. “I see, so they got mad when you told them that you met me?”, I asked carefully.

He looked up at me, and looked me square in the eyes. “I… I haven’t told them yet. I kinda snuck off and asked around about you, and where you live.”

I looked him in the face and frowned.

“Look, how do I tell them that I rutted, and that my one chance was was with a white boy?”, He sighed. “They’ll disown me too.”

I could see his point. Once you rut, you no longer produced the catalyst for the change. I was the one shot his family was banking on, but I wasn’t what they wanted. He was stuck with a racist family that had disowned one child already.

“S...so you would never have told them? How were you going to deal with that? They would have caught on eventually”, I asked.

He looked at me. “I hadn’t thought about it too much. I suppose I’m going to have to fake it until I’m older, and claim that I never met the right person, then pass it off that I aged out.”, he said in a dejected manner.

It was possible, I suppose. There have been cases where boys have never met their matches, When that happens they go through puberty at a slower rate than boys that have rutted, and finally around 21-24 years old they reach a point of full maturation. One where they no longer have to worry about rutting, and their DNA finally locks itself, preventing the change.

I looked at him. “That’s at least 8-9 years, you think you can keep it up that long? And what if you meet a girl during that time?”, I said.

He looked at me sadly. I shook my head. “I don’t know yet. I mean I’m still feeling the attraction to you, and there is a pull. You hurt me though. Maybe after I will know my feelings, but right now I’m too confused. I need time…. And space. If you want me to, I will go with you when you tell your patents. It may not be too bad. It’s true that like 60% of all rutted pairs go on to be in relationships, or even get married. But there will be plenty of girls out there for you if we don’t work out.”, I sighed and gave him a hug. My anger was still there, but I had some sympathy for him. Plus, damn it… he was still kind of hot.

I withdrew my arm from around him, and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“Are you alright?”, He asked while gently stroking my arm. “When I woke up I saw you were gone, and I saw all the blood. It took me a while to realize you didn’t want this.”

I sighed and responded. “What’s done is done, I’m still kind of not in the best place right now, but I’ll make it through somehow.”

I nuzzled against his shoulder. “If I had been able to say now, would you have stopped?”, I said softly.

He took my hand and held it. “I would have to the best of my ability. I heard all about Bettany. Asshole deserved everything that happened to him. And I’m kinda glad you got him to confess and break his arms. You are scary when angry!”

“Yeah, I turn green and big and everything!”, I said with a smile. “But seriously, If I hadn’t frozen up, and I had tried to rut you, would you have let me?”, I asked, the smile disappearing.

DeShaun squeezed my hand. “I’m not sure I could have. Not with all the expectations and hopes my family has on me.”

I sighed. “You could try to be yourself, don’t worry about all that. And If you had been the one to change, you could still be happy. There are other things you could have done. Track, Basketball, volleyball-”

Deshaun laughed. “Volleyball? … really? VOLLEYBALL? Who ever got anywhere playing volleyball?”, he laughed.

I bit my lip. “Well, we could ask the 3 time all Big Ten Conference first team, 2 time all NCCA First team, 2 time NCAA champion in the next room, she might even take out her Olympic silver medal and show us”, I said deadpanned.

“IT WAS A GOLD, AND YOU KNOW IT!”, Mom shouted from her office. After a few seconds of silence, I heard the radio turn on in her office.

DeShaun and I laughed and He turned and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I should get going, but you’ve given me a lot to think about. I’m going to go home and see if I can find my sister’s number. I need to talk to her. Then I might talk to my parents.”

DeShaun got up and left, after getting shown Mom’s awards and medal, of course.

I sat back down on the couch and thought for a while. I realized I wasn’t mad at him anymore. He had his own issues.

Dad came home and we played catch for a while before dinner. Afterwards, I went up to my room to veg out and do some thinking.

Before long, my phone rang. I looked at the ID, and it said ‘James’, I guess I need to change that.

I answered on the second ring. “Hello, Casey! Wanna come over Sunday? I don’t have any plans, and I have the place to myself. Want to come over and play some Mariokart and stuff, like we used to in the old days?”

“Old days, huh?”, I laughed, because those old days had been this spring. “I guess I could be persuaded to drop by and kick your butt. Especially now that it’s a lot cuter!”, I said, taunting her.

I heard a “Hmmph!” on the other end of the line, and then a “Ok, drop on by around Noon, ‘kay?”

We both said our goodbyes, and I laid back down, thoughts running rampant through my head. The confusion and uncertainty looming large in my mind. I wasn’t even a girl yet, and I was confused. I mean I liked Janie, she was pretty, and when I thought of her topless as I played with her breasts, I felt my dick getting hard. At the same time, my brain was flooded by memories of the woods. Laying naked in the bushes with DeShaun as I kissed those amazing pecs and sucked that huge dick of his.

I sighed and shook my head. Grabbing my robe, I headed down the hall and took a long, cold shower, dried myself off, and went to bed early.

Saturday morning came, and my brain was filled with the same conflicting thoughts as last night. I sat on the couch and moped. Dad was off playing golf with his buddies, so Mom and I were alone.

She came in and sat down next to me, plunking down a penny on the coffee table.

“For your thoughts”, she said.

I looked at her, and rolled my eyes. “I don’t know. I’m just… I guess I’m confused. Mom, am I a freak? I’m already thinking about DeShaun, and how hot he is, but at the same time, Janie is beautiful and she does something to me too. Am I going to turn into some sort of slutty girl?”

Mom hugged me. “Things will make sense eventually. The hormones and confusion will settle down. When I was a boy, I was kind super interested in girls. Your Father and I once got caught peeking into the girl’s locker room through a peep hole when we were in 8th grade. I had no interest in guys. I thought I would grow up to be big man on campus in High school. Then the rut happened and I decided to be with your father, and at first, I did still look at other girls, but as time went on, the interest went down. Eventually, I didn’t know what the big deal had been for me back then. Of course, having a pair of boobs myself kind of spoiled the novelty, I guess? I don’t know. All I know is that If you end up liking girls, or boys, or both, you will still be my little baby and I’ll love you no matter what.”

After our talk, I felt a little better. Mom grabbed her car keys off the counter, and after getting her purse, she motioned me to come with her. We went out and saw the latest action movie.We also stopped for ice cream, and a had a nice lunch. I felt fine for the first time in a long while.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 8.

It was Sunday morning, and I was in a good mood. Janie had called last night and invited me over for video games and general goofing off. Something normal and familiar. With all that had happened in the last week, it was certainly welcome. I got together my games, packed my baseball glove in my backpack, and grabbed my my bike. Janie lived not too far away, only 6 blocks away. We had met through school, of course, but hung out occasionally, but mostly in larger groups, doing things like playing sandlot ball.

I reached the Bond house and parked my bike alongside the garage. I went to the door and rang the bell. Suddenly the door opened up and I was pulled in. Off balance, I fell forward on top of Janie.
She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a passionate kiss. So much for ‘just like old times’.

After a minute we broke the kiss, and I got up, extending my hand to help her up. “I’m so glad you came today! I got the best news ever!”, she said in an excited voice. “When you got Paul to confess in front of all those people, Daddy contacted a lawyer. They got Paul to agree to a plea bargain. He’s going to Juvie lock up for 2 years. Plus he’ll be registered as a sex offender. And if he comes within 100 yards of me or my house, he’ll be violating probation and will have to serve more time!”

I looked at her and smiled. “That’s awesome!”, I said.

“And I owe it all to you!”, she squeaked. She was safe and finally she could escape the fear that she had been dealing with.

I went into the living room, put down my bag, and sat down on the couch. She followed me, and say next to me, scooting close. I turned to ask her what she wanted to play, and once again her lips met mine. We sat there kissing some more, and she let me touch her breasts through her shirt.

After a while, she took my hand and whispered to me, “There was another reason I called you over. It’s not Mariokart.”

She stood up and led me upstairs. I had been up here before, but that was when she had been James.
She led me into her room, and sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to me. I looked at her and felt nervous.

“Are… are you sure?” I stuttered. I looked at her, she was blushing, and nodding.

“Casey, I owe you so much. You were there to listen, you got him sent away. I owe my security to you. I love you. And in the time we have, I want to show you how much. Please be my first.”, she said nervously.
I leaned in and kissed Janie on the cheek. With tears in my eyes, I said “Thank you.”

She leaned in and we began to kiss, at first softly, but then more and more intensely. I ran my hands along her back, finding the edge of her tee, and I lifted it up. We broke from kissing as I pulled the shirt up and over her head, and off. She blushed cutely as I cupped her over the sexy black lace bra. In turn she pulled at my shirt, likewise shedding it from my body. We sat there for a second taking in each other before we both laid down. I ran my hands down her breasts, along her stomach and to the waistband of the shorts she had on. In a deft move, I undid the drawstring, and soon they found themselves on the floor.

I took in her body, covered only by her black bra and matching panties. “I don’t know what the future holds, but I love you right now, and no matter what, I will always be your friend, if not more.”, I said to her. She smiled and leaned closer, licking my chest as she in turn removed my shorts, revealing my briefs. We took each other in and as I licked her neck, she slid her hand into the underwear and stroked my hardened dick.

I licked her earlobe and whispered softly in her ear. “What about… you know...”

She stopped momentarily, and looked me in the eye. “It’s okay. I know you don’t want to hear it, but by now your swimmers aren’t going to do anything. I’m sorry.”

I smiled feebly and kissed her. It was true and a reminder of what I was going to lose. But in this moment, with her, I was okay. She wanted me, broken as I was.

My hands trailed around her firm ass. She would be amazing when she grew into her body a little more. With a quick pull, her panties were off her ass, and half way down her thighs. She gasped and then moaned a little before she relieved me of my tighty-whiteys. She looked at my dick hungrily and without a word, she shifted and went down on it.

I moaned as she licked my cock, hungrily. I could hear small throaty purrs coming from her as she did. I closed my eyes, and begged her to roll over. She did eagerly, and I guided my swollen member into her wet, juicy pussy. We ground against each other blissfully. It was nothing like the rut. That had been forced confusion, lust and overwhelming desire. When we both finally came, we smiled and kissed gently. I lay there still inside her and we just cuddled for a bit.

That afternoon we didn’t leave the bed, and when we were ready, we made love over and over. Finally spent, we both got up after the fourth round. She led me to her bathroom, where we both got in the shower and had a soothing, bonding experience as we delicately washed each other.

After we were dry, we got dressed reluctantly, and went down stairs. Her parents weren’t due back til around 8, but better safe than sorry. A few rounds of Mariokart later, we went to the kitchen and fixed some sandwiches and chips for dinner.

We were out back playing catch when her parents arrived home. They each greeted me with a big hug.
“Thank you for all that you’ve done for our little girl”, Janie’s dad said. It might have been my imagination, but when Janie blushed upon saying that, her mother got an odd look in her eye.

I quickly responded. “It’s nothing. James and I were friends, and just because James is Janie, that’s no reason to abandon her”, I said. “And when I begin my change, Janie said she will be there for me.”

I saw the look fade from Janie’s mother’s eyes. “I didn’t know you had gone through the rut, are you okay?”, she asked sympathetically.

I looked back to her and spoke, “It wasn’t something I wanted, but I wasn’t able to say anything. I wasn’t raped, I’m in this situation because I froze up. I don’t bare any ill will to the boy who did it, and I know he has his own issues to work through.”

I stayed for a little while longer, just chatting and playing catch, but when it started to get dark, I headed home.

Monday came too quickly, as it always does. Just last Monday I was enjoying Labor Day, and it was already the 2nd week of school. The day went by fairly quickly. Janie and I sat together at lunch, as usual. Although we discretely held hands under the table, and she would whisper in my ear, telling me she loved me, and calling me ‘lover’.

I noticed Miss Petri’s antics less, as my attention was focused on a certain adorable blonde a couple seats away from me. And study hall? Yes more whispering and stealth affection. It wasn’t until I had to go to my new class that things got difficult.

I walked into Home Ec, and was promptly met by 4 members of the football team. They did not look happy.

The tallest one, I think his name is Brad, poked me hard in the chest. “I hear you got Paul Bettany expelled. He was going to be the starting left tackle. Now we have to have some scrub come up from JV to replace him. I don’t want to end up on my ass because you tattled.”

Right, I remembered now. Brad was the starting quarterback, and a real jerk. I ran down my mental checklist. Pete something, the starting center was also there, as were the Soderburgh twins, Randy and Andy. The starting left and right guards. I was potentially in for a world of hurt, so I did the only thing I could, I told it like it was.

“Yeah, he got himself expelled and he broke his hands going after me. But Paul was a slimeball who raped my friend, just so that he could be assured that he wouldn’t be the one to change. Thanks to him, a good friend of mine is going to have to live her entire life as a girl, because the choice was taken away from her!”, I shouted.

Randy sneered at me. “I heard that you two are tight, and that you are going to be a girl. What’s she going to be to you? You two going to be all lezzie togheter? Paul had the right idea, secure your manhood! Before some pansy takes it away. I feel sorry for whoever plowed you, they don’t even get a girlfriend, just another lezzie bitch!”

Suddenly I noticed someone was behind Randy. A hand reached over and touched his shoulder, spinning him around, and right into a punch. It was DeShaun. He looked at the rest of the crowd, and they slunk off to the edges of the classroom. Deshaun stood there looking at me. “Is it true? Are you with her?”, he said, putting extra emphasis on the ‘her’.

I turned to him to try to say something, but the teacher entered the room and called the class to attention. I tried to talk to DeShaun after class, but he left without a word. I had blown it. I mean I loved Janie, but I also was interested in him. Was I turning into what they said? Was I a “bitch?”, would I be a lesbian? I was interested in DeShaun, but was that just lingering feelings from the rut?

I sighed and gathered up my books. I felt miserable, and not just because of the confusion and the hurt look on his face. I walked home slowly, a dull ache starting to creep into my joints and ligaments. Even my very bones ached. I made it home and once through the door, I flopped on the couch, all my energy spent.

I sat there until dinner, and then I slowly entered the dining room. I put on a happy face, but I could sense that mom wasn’t fooled. Dinner over, I made the laborious climb up the stairs, flopping down on the bed. I managed to get through my homework, only just barely. With superhuman effort, I managed a shower and brushing my teeth.

I lay on the bed hoping sleep would take me. Sunday had gone completely right, It was one of the best days of my life, now things were turning around rapidly and I felt like death warmed over. How could it all change so dramatically in just 24 hours. I sat and quietly sobbed into my pillow until at last I mercifully fell asleep.

~o~O~o~
I ADORE comments, you have questions or comments, feel free to drop them here.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 9.

I crawled out of bed, after getting no sleep. The clock said 5:57, close enough. Staggering to the bathroom, I Turned on the light and saw my reflection in the mirror. Something was different. Something small, I couldn’t place my finger on it at first, but then I realized. My lashes. I leaned in over the sink to look in the mirror. They were fuller and thicker, longer. That wasn’t all though. My eyes were slightly darker. I had had light colored eyes, not hazel exactly, but more of a light brown, they were more of a chocolate brown now. Weird.

I stretched and took off the tee shirt I was wearing and got my second surprise. As my shirt pulled up, it brushed over my nipples in such a way that I almost melted and fell to the floor. They felt tender and sensitive and wrong, but mmm... it also kind of felt right. Oh gawd, they had gotten pinker and were protruding a little, like little cones. On seeing this, I did what anyone in my position would do, I screamed and fainted.

I came around to the sensation of mom slapping my cheeks. Not hard, just over and over. When I opened my eyes, there she was, bent over me with a concerned look on her face. I sheepishly took her hand when she extended it, and let her help me get up. She put the lid down on the toilet and motioned for me to sit down. She crossed her arms over the baggy over-sized jersey she wore and knelt beside me.

“Are you okay?”, she asked as she sat on the edge of the bathtub.

I looked up at her and she studied my face intently, before her eyes glanced downward. “I see”, came her quiet reply. “Your breast buds are developing. That was one of my first changes too.”

I stammered, “Wh...wh..what d...”

She patted my head softly. “What does it mean?”, she asked. I bit my lip and nodded solemnly.

“When your breasts start developing, they form buds, like you have”, she sighed. “This is a sign that you are starting your transition. You have an appointment after school Thursday, with Dr. Foster.

I shuddered visibly. I knew that since I was showing signs, it was a reality. I really was changing. They would put me on estrogen supplements to speed along the development.

Mom got up and helped me to my feet. I let out an audible groan.

“I remember that feeling. You ache all over, am I right?”, she asked sympathetically.

I nodded silently.
“Your whole body will ache for a while. Slowly, your cells are changing, as the changes to your DNA are carried out by your body. Bones, tendons, ligaments, muscles, and even your organs are all slowly reshaping”, she said while looking me in the face. “I’ll leave you alone now to take your shower. I’ll have breakfast ready when you are finished.”

Mom turned, walking out. I looked at her as she left, the old school jersey, black with white and red trim, and the name on the back that read “Casey” above the large number 10.

After she had gone, I climbed in the shower. The water hurt when it hit my chest, and I was very careful to not touch it. I sighed and did a brief self-exam. The boys still were the same walnut-size they had been before. I looked at my dick, it might have been my imagination that made it seem slightly smaller. I don’t know. I would have to check later. Looking at it though, my mind raced to the two people that had wrapped their lips around it. It responded positively, and for the moment the other issues faded a little.

After I got out of the shower, and got dressed, I limped down the stairs. I inched over to the table and mom put a plate of waffles and bacon down in front of me.

“You need extra calories right now, as your body uses extra energy for the change. But don’t expect waffles every morning!”, she teased.

I heard dad’s response as he came in, in the form of a disappointed “awww.”

mom, put down her coffee cup and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, the jersey slid down, exposing one of her bra-straps through the loose neck. I pretended not to notice. Growing up, one of the things that amused me the most was that I had the “hottest mom around”, as my friends always had told me. Watching them get tongue-tied and clumsy around her had been fun, but now I realized that mom was something else. Mom was the enemy now. Not literally, of course. But now that I was going to be a girl, I would be compared to her. I wasn’t tall, and almost certainly I would be getting shorter. She was blonde, I was not. She had blue eyes, I had brown. She was athletic, I was unexceptional. She had big D-cup... well, the jury is still out on that one.

Dad offered me a ride to school, mom had probably told him about how much I was hurting. I grabbed my books and headed out to the garage. I waited for dad next to the Lexus. When Dad had made partner at the law firm, he and mom had had a debate about his new car. He wanted to get a luxury sedan. But mom, ever the voice of reason, reminded him that a sedan would be useless in the Minnesota winter. He reluctantly settled on a cobalt blue GX. I climbed into the SUV and gingerly buckled the belt, carefully stretching the shoulder belt across my chest.

We got to the school quickly, and I waved as he drove off.

Even with my softest cotton tee under the thick baggy hoodie, I still felt discomfort. Not only from the changes, but also the early September humidity. At least the school had air conditioning.

I fumbled through the morning, finally reaching lunch. I sat by myself at the usual table when Janie arrived. She came up behind me and wrapped me in a rather painful hug. She managed to hit my breasts HARD.

In that situation, I did the worst possible thing. Irritated and sore, I pulled her arms off me and in a loud voice, I yelled at her. “GOD DAMMIT! STOP BEING SO FUCKING CLINGY!”

Trays all over the cafeteria hit the floor in the following silence. I looked up and caught DeShaun’s glare, purely by chance. He shook his head, and looked away. Getting up and quickly busing his tray and leaving. I sighed, and in the silence, the dull thud of my head hitting the table could clearly be heard.

Janie wasn’t in biology class, nor was she at study hall. I blew it. I called her phone during study hall, but it went straight to voice mail. I sighed and left a simple “I’m sorry.”

I dreaded home ec, and sure enough, Brad and his clique kept staring at me. I purposefully sat at the opposite side of the room, closer to DeShaun. He looked at me with a disgusted face, and moved to another corner. There I sat, assaulted by glares from two directions. The teacher, Mrs. Beverly, turned her back on us to write on the whiteboard some fact about balancing a checkbook, but it didn’t register to me. Every time I glanced at DeShaun, he turned his head away.

Brad’s group sat looking at me like coyotes, waiting to pounce and slaughter the wounded pheasant.

I made it out of there, just barely. I was shaking and borderline on the verge of a panic attack. I think the lesson in art class was on post-impressionism, but I can’t be sure. It’s all a haze to me. I stood outside, and when mom rolled up in her cayenne, heads turned on a swivel, as she got out. She was still wearing the jersey. A pair of yoga shorts with ankle socks and canvas low-top sneakers gave all the drooling audience a look at her long, long legs.

I hopped in and she took me home. With any luck ‘hot mom’ gained me back some of the lost coolness from the lunch debacle.

I went upstairs and dialed my phone. When I got Janie’s voice mail, I left a longer message. “Janie, I’m so sorry. I’m so very, very sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t think you are clingy. I said that out of pain and frustration. When I woke up, I discovered the changes were starting, and visible ones. Mom said my boobs are budding, and when you squeezed me like that. It hurt. And my joints hurt, and my muscles.”

I took a deep breath before continuing. “My everything hurts, but most of all my heart. I saw myself becoming less of a man. Less of what you deserve. You are my best friend. And I don’t know if we will still be more after I get through all this, but I do know that fact will never change. I am so sorry. If it helps, even DeShaun gave me the evil eye, and I think he sees you as the competition. Right now I need you. I need your help, because without you, I’ll surely go mad. I’m lost, and I need your guidance. Your expertise. Your experience. I am so sorry. I have been, and always shall be your friend.”

I hung up and laid back on the bed, ruminating on everything. I would need to talk to DeShaun. I don’t even remember his phone number.

About ten minutes passed, and the phone rang. I picked up, having seen the number. “I forgive you, and I understand”, she said. “Also, you quoted Wrath of Khan? Really? You are such an idiot.” We laughed for a while before hanging up.

After some Ibuprofen, I went down to dinner. Dad was going to be late, he was prepping for a big case at work. I ate up, feeling better, my appetite was back with a vengeance. Having polished off a second helping, I looked up at the TV. The news was on, and they were out front of the school. Mom grabbed the remote and turned it up.

The reporter stood in front of the school, where there were police cars and a crime scene van in the background. “This is Esme Murphy reporting from form Eden Prarie High School, where breaking news is unfolding. Details are still coming in, but approximately 45 minutes ago the bodies of two male students were discovered underneath the football bleachers. The students have not been identified, pending notification of next of kin, but the Hennepin County Sheriff's Department is saying that foul play is likely suspected.”

The reporter stopped and turned to look at the school before continuing.

“I spoke just moments ago with the principal and the school superintendent. Classes will be canceled tomorrow, and they will be bringing in grief counselors when school resumes on Thursday. Back to you Frank and Amelia in the studio.”

After that I tuned out. Dead? Who? Why? Panic hit me like a wave. The football field? That meant they were likely on the team. I didn’t know their practice schedule, but I did know that they had a game scheduled on Friday. I got a sinking feeling and fought to keep dinner down. What if there had been another fight? What if I had caused it? What if… what if one of them was DeShaun? I got up, but I suddenly felt woozy. The last thing I remembered was hitting the floor.

~o~O~o~

I THRIVE on your comments and questions. Please feel free to post them!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old boy, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 10.

I lay on the bed, I was too distraught over the news yesterday to do much but think of the worst. My phone rang, but I barely looked at it. It couldn’t have been DeShaun, it just couldn’t have been. The irony didn’t escape me that it was Wednesday, thinking back on last week, and everything that happened that day. The day that literally changed my life forever. I got out of my pajamas and slipped on some boxers. Mom had gone out and bought me some. They were loose in some places, but mom insisted that when my figure started to change roomy boxers with drawstrings would be my underwear of choice.

I slipped on a cotton tee and as I did, I noticed that the hair on my arms was lighter. Had that changed yesterday, and I had not noticed.. or was this new? Thinking about it, I slipped the boxers back down and measured myself. Still 7”, and my balls seemed the same as last I examined them. I sighed and resumed dressing.

I scrambled down stairs, to see if there had been any news. I had slept in, and mom was gone. I remembered she had clients in the morning and early afternoon. Dad was off to the office, to continue working on his big case.

I shuffled over to the TV, nothing on about the dead students. My phone rang again. Janie was calling again, but I didn’t feel up to a conversation on the phone. I let it go to voice mail. As soon as it stopped ringing, there was a pounding on the door, and frantic doorbell ringing. I ran over and opened it, getting bowled over by a blur in a blue skirt and white tank top.

“OMGIthoughtyouweredeadIsawthenewsandIwassoscaredyouwereoneoftheboysthathadbeenkilled”, Janie said, as she loomed over me. I was flat on my back with her hovering over me on all fours.

She moved back and allowed me to get up, which I did very slowly and painfully. Once I was up, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a passionate kiss. I responded in kind. Janie reached for my hoodie’s zipper. I flinched and pulled back, gently grabbing her hand.

“No”, I said. “I want you to remember who I was and who I’m going to be. I don’t want you to see me in between, as I am now. I’m not him anymore, but I’m not her. I’m something in-between that’s broken and can’t even get it up for you anymore… no matter how much I want to.” I said that, and tears were streaming down my cheeks.

She held me closely, and then I heard the knocking on the door. Frantic knocking. Who else could it be? I unentangled myself from Janie and ran to the door. I opened it and when I saw who it was, I leaped into their arms without thinking. I heard the growl from behind me. A literal growl from Janie.
I quickly let DeShaun put me down.

He cam in as I stammered. “I was so worried, I thought you were dead. What happened? I saw the news, and I was so scared."

He shook his head looking at the ground. “The Soderburgh brothers… they...” He staggered to the couch and sat down. I sat down beside him, as Janie took a chair across from us. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at us, glaring.

“They… Randy… he... killed Andy, and then himself. Brad said he saw Andy try to kiss Randy, and they started fighting, and rolling around on the ground ripping each others clothes off, alternating between punching each other and trying to not kiss”. DeShaun slumped over, and Janie even came over and sat down beside him, with one of us on each side. We sat silently.

My mind raced. They had to have rutted, and they were attracted to each other. I remembered the intensity of DeShaun and I, and I felt a little sick. I looked over to Janie, and seeing the look on her face, I could tell that she had mentally come to the same conclusion.

DeShaun just sat there looking pale. Knowing that the brothers had died because of the rut shook him to the core. It was perhaps a good thing that he had no idea how I felt. I was sick to my stomach, and looking at Janie, she looked it too.

We sat for a while, I noticed the uneasy vibe between DeShaun and Janie was still simmering below the surface.

I sighed and spoke up. “Listen you two. The glares and the growls and the evil-eyes have got to stop. Right now I don’t know how I feel. DeShaun, yes. I am attracted to you. But I don’t know if it’s real, or if it is lingering effect from the rut. I need time to find out.”

Janie raised her head a little. I looked over and shook my head. “Janie, I love you. But I don’t know if that’s my remaining maleness struggling to hang on. I’ll always think you are special, and you will always be my friend. I don’t know if things will be the same after I change fully. Sunday was wonderf-”

DeShaun looked over and glared at her. I smacked my forehead. Stupid Casey! Stupid Casey! Stupid Casey!

“I’m sorry DeShaun. I didn’t mean to hide anything from you. I would have told you when the time was better. Yes, Janie and I had sex on Sunday. Our emotions were raw. She had just learned that Paul was going away for the assault on her. I was feeling weak, because I knew my life as I knew it was on borrowed time. We didn’t mean to hurt you”.

He looked at me, then at her. I couldn’t read the emotions on his face. I have to remember to never play him in poker, assuming I learn it in the first place.

I sighed. “look, Janie, you are jealous because he rutted me. DeShaun, you are mad because I had sex with her. You two go upstairs and have mind-blowing sex. That way everyone will have been with everyone and it’ll all be even!”

They both looked at me like I had lost my mind. I sat there stone faced for a moment, but then a little snort escaped. Soon I was laughing hysterically. Both of them looked at me, and then smacked me on the back of the head.

Janie and DeShaun agreed to a truce, and everyone exchanged phone numbers. The tension broken, we played some Mariokart for a bit. The deaths still made me shake some. I was glad that it had been DeShaun. Of course I still wished I could have remained a boy, but now that I knew how bad it could get, I was fortunate. In an odd way, I think Janie felt the same way. Paul had raped her and she was still struggling with that, but to think that she could have been murdered her, I think she was feeling some sense of relief.

After a several hours, mom came home. She had the football jersey on, and a pair of yoga pants. DeShaun noticed the jersey and looked at it questioningly.

“Something wrong, DeShaun?”, I asked.

“That jersey”, he said. “Why does it have your name on it?”

Mom laughed and smiled. I could see DeShaun blush. Inside a little voice growled at mom, but I kept it in.

Mom laughed and spoke, “Casey’s name is on the jersey, because this was my jersey when I went to Eden Prairie.”

I could see that DeShaun still didn’t get it. I snickered and spelled it out for him. “Mom’s maiden name was Casey. When I was born, mom and dad decided to use that as my first name”.

Janie sat there and tried to stifle laughter, while DeShaun just slumped his head, shaking it at how dense he had been.

Mom looked at me. “That reminds me, when your… ‘friends’ go, you and I have to talk.”

The pause and emphasis on the word “friends” clearly indicated that mom knew more than she was letting on. Did she know about Janie and I?

After fixing us a nice lunch, mom offered DeShaun and Janie rides home. They both politely declined, as both had rode their bikes over.

Once they had left, mom sat me down on the couch. I swallowed hard and chewed on my lower lip a bit. She seemed to sense my apprehension.

“Honey, there is nothing to be afraid of. I talked to Janie’s mother. She suspected that you two did more than play video games Sunday. I think I managed to dissuade her. What ever you two did isn’t our concern. And seeing the smile on her face, I’m sure that it did a lot of good for her self consciousness. After a violent rape, it is natural to feel that other men will find you unattractive. So your knowing about it, and still being with her is what she needed”.

I looked at mom, who sighed. “I know everyone sees me as the tall MILF, but I do have a brain. I minored in psychology at the U, after all”.

I nearly sprayed Dr. Pepper all over when she referred to herself as a MILF, but knowing the responses she got from teenage boys, she wasn’t wrong.

“What I really wanted to talk to you about was the doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and what happens afterward. I know that the tests are extremely personal, I’ve been there.” She turned her head and that far-away look came over her eyes, as she remembered something.

“It’s really just a formality, since you and I know you are already starting to change… but I need to get his ‘proof of transition’ notification, so that on Friday I can go down to the courthouse and file your gender-update on your records”, she said with a sympathetic tone.

I sighed. In 1912 President Taft had signed into law a bill that required notification of gender change to the federal government, for identification and census purposes. The bill had been argued as unconstitutional before the Supreme Court on several occasions, but the judgment was that in such cases as selective service and social security concerns the privacy of the individual was superseded by the government’s need to know.

“Dear, when I file those forms they will need to be filed under the name you wish to use as a girl, have you thought about it?”, she asked softly, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, supportively.

I thought about it. Casey was good for either gender. James though would need to be changed. I could go for Jane, but I didn’t want Janie to get a swelled head. It had been coincidence that her male first name and my middle name were identical, and we had joked about it on a few occasions.

I looked at her and smiled. “I want to keep Casey, I love you mom, and I love grandma and grandpa. And I want to keep honoring you all. If I use Jane for the middle name, a certain someone might get a swelled head”, I laughed as I said it, and mom joined in.

“What about Jennifer?”, she said. “It’s still a ‘J’ name, and it works with your name”, she said.

I pondered it for several minutes, rolling it around in my brain. Unbidden, my mind wandered elsewhere. Casey Jennifer Bond… Casey Jennifer McAllister… Shaking my head, I stopped those random thoughts.

“Casey Jennifer Church”, It does have a ring to it, I admitted. I wasn’t thrilled, but at least I would still have something that belonged to boy-me, once he was dead and gone forever.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 11.

The day started out somber. After roll call we were all sent to the auditorium. The Principal read a statement from the police and from the family. Everyone just sort of went through the motions the rest of the day, too stunned and shocked to do much. I sat near DeShaun in home economics, and let him know that I was there for him with little smiles and nods.

The autopsies had not been completed yet, of course. But the official story behind the deaths was that it had been a murder-suicide. The twins had indeed come into the rut, and ended up attracted to each other. Due to the testosterone madness, the rutting turned violent as they fought to get away from each other. It was not revealed which twin had done it, but in the heightened state, one had beaten the other so severely that he had broken his neck. In remorse, the surviving brother had taken his belt and hung himself from the underside of the bleachers.

I was worried for DeShaun. There was supposed to have been a practice today, in preparation for the game tomorrow. The school had contacted Hopkins High, who had offered to allow them to reschedule, but I think that the coach and Principal Lewis felt that the boys would have wanted the game to go on. I wasn’t so sure about that, but what did I know?

The school day finally came to a close, but for me the torture was just beginning. I stuffed my books into my bag, and slung it over my shoulder. I walked out to the parking lot, and say the flock of kids gathered, admiring mom’s cayenne. I’m sure that some of the boys were admiring the woman standing beside it a lot more. I silently growled, that irrational resentment that I felt over mom’s looks. It wasn’t fair to her, I loved her. But some new part of me buried deep down saw her as competition. I slumped my shoulders and walked forward, hating myself all the way to the car.

I looked at Mom and started to cry. She reached over carefully and patted my knee, letting me know everything was alright.

We reached the Doctor’s office and went in, the wait seemed excruciating, I looked at the sparse choices of magazines, and with a sigh, picked up a copy of Ranger Rick to flip through. After the third time, I heard my name called. Mom remained sitting, and Nurse Betty took me back to the examination room. She drew more blood, and did the usual blood pressure and temperature checks.

After a minute or so, Doctor Foster came in. He instructed me to change into the usual paper robe behind the curtain. I came out and obediently stood in front of the growth chart. Doctor Foster looked it over. After some barely audible mumbles, He announced the verdict.

“You are 5’6 7/8” inches, you have shrunk in the last week.”, He said.

Next was the weigh-in. I learned that I had dropped to 153 Lbs, I had lost 9 pounds in a week, despite the extra servings and helpings. I sighed and looked down, dejectedly.

Nurse Betty came in and handed Doctor Foster a piece of paper. He looked over it intently. After a moment, he looked up and cast his gaze my direction.

“From the results of your blood test, I can confirm that your DNA has completed the change-over, and you are now completely genetically female. The physical changes will take much longer, of course. Have you noticed any signs or indications?”, he inquired.

“Well, my eyelashes have grown. My eyes are darker. I noticed that my arm and leg hair is lighter, and some of it has fallen out. Then there’s my chest...” I said, with a huge sigh.

The Doctor motioned for me to lower the gown in front. I did so reluctantly, and he examined my breasts. The poking and prodding sensation felt strange, and to be totally honest, not entirely a bad strange. I mentally chided myself for that.

“It does appear that your breast tissue is beginning to bud, and there are clear signs that your nipples and areoli are beginning to increase in size.” Doctor Foster stepped back and looked at me. “With your permission, I would like to examine your testicles and penis for signs of change”.

I nodded and slowly peeled the gown away, and sat up on the exam bed. I looked away and thought of baseball and other distractions, not that I needed to worry. I had discovered that after that wonderful Sunday with Janie, I couldn’t get erect anymore. So while the doctor palpated my testicles and measured things, I pondered how unfair life was.

After he finished, he had several questions. I explained that I hadn’t noticed any shrinkage. He nodded and gave me the numbers. I actually had shrunk from my own self-measurement, down to 6 7/8”, I felt a tear trace it’s way down my cheek.

The doctor instructed me to recline on the medical bed. “Next I’m going to take an ultrasound, so we can get an idea of how things are developing. Generally the reproductive system it the thing that takes the longest to develop and reach maturity. This will give us an indication of where you are in the process. The fact that your testes haven’t retracted indicates that they haven’t yet begun their transformation”.

Calling Nurse Betty in, he spread some cold gel over my pelvis and rand a wand over it. There was silence, and I heard him make some barely audible “hmmm’s”.

“Okay Casey, see this little shadow here?”, he said indicating a dark spot on the screen.

I looked over and nodded, uncertainly. That is what remains of your prostate gland. It appears to have begun to have begun it’s change”.

I looked at him, scared. “Wh... what’s that mean, exactly?”, I stammered.

He looked at me and gently dropped the killing blow on my last shreds of masculinity. “That’s what is going to become your uterus”.

I was in full-on tears at that point, and Nurse Betty was gently holding my hand. It reassured me a tiny bit, but not enough.

After the exam was complete, I was given privacy to change. Doctor Foster knocked on the door and asked if I had any questions.

I hesitated, “I… I can’t get it up any more”, I said in as quiet a voice as I could. The doctor looked at me sympathetically.

“Right now your body is in a tug of war with itself, the estrogen is increasing in production, while your body is still trying to produce testosterone. With this hormonal issue, and the physical changes going on with your penis, you will experience impotence and lack of sexual desire. Don’t worry, as your body continues to transition into it’s new form, your libido will return.”, he stated gently to me.

I sighed and nodded.

“Any other questions?”, I shook my head and he led me out to the waiting room.

Mom stood up, put down the magazine she was reading, and came over. The doctor handed her several papers. “Mrs. Church. I have prescribed a prescription for estrogen and progesterone, taken orally once a day. This should help with the hormonal imbalance, as well as aid in speeding up the process slightly.”, he stated.

I saw Mom raise her eyebrow, but the meaning was lost on me.

Mom and I walked out to the car, and I turned and looked at her. “Mom, when Doctor Foster mentioned the pills, I saw the look on your face. Is there a problem?”, I asked.

Mom smiled slightly and tussled my hair. “I’m sure he stated it that way to avoid scaring you or causing a panic...” she said.

“But?”, I asked quickly. Mom seemed hesitant, I was scared, and I really wanted to know what was going on.

She looked at me and took a deep breath. “What he just prescribed for you, those pills… those are birth control pills”, she explained with a somewhat pained look on her face.

I shuddered. Sure they had been prescribed for other purposes, but the fact I was growing a womb, I’d be taking birth control, and I was impotent all hit me at once. I broke out into a massive crying fit in the parking lot. Mom hugged me until I calmed down enough to find my way back to my feet.

The drive home was quiet. I was too shocked to speak, and I’m sure mom was at a loss for words.

Upon reaching the house, I ran up the stairs to my room, slammed the door, and collapsed on the bed.

I laid there sobbing for a couple hours. Mom knocked softly on the door. I heard her muffled voice,“I left a sandwich and some salad in the fridge, if you feel like eating”.

Eventually I roused myself out of my depression enough to finish the little bit of homework I had. I picked up my phone, and looked through my missed calls and texts. I had had my phone on silent at the clinic, and missed calls from DeShaun and Janie. I rolled over and stared at the screen. Did I want to talk to them? I just didn’t know.

Hesitating, I hit the ‘call back’ tab on one of the missed calls. Janie picked up immediately. “Casey! I was so worried!” Obviously she had already known that the confirmation would be that DeShaun’s enzymes had done their job, but I ruefully played it off.

“Congratulations, it’s a girl!”, I said, mimicking one of those strange TV sci-fi shows that was based in a world where there had been no event.

She didn’t find it too amusing, but she spoke reassuringly to me, and she related to me the story of her first check-up, and the news that she was going to become the beautiful girl that I loved so deeply. I listened to her talk about the exam, and her reaction. She had taken it much worse than I did. I understood, my rut had been traumatic, but hers was many, many times worse.

She had to be put in restraints after the news, and she had been placed on a 72-hour psychiatric hold, for fear that she would try to kill herself again. It certainly didn’t help that she had been shipped off to
a place where she was without her parents for support. We talked for two hours, and by the end I was laughing and smiling again.

It was nearly bedtime, but I called DeShaun and told him all about the appointment. He got quiet, and then apologized again and again. I sighed and told him that what was done can’t be fixed, but that he’s forgiven. I promised to go to the game and cheer him on, and that I would see him tomorrow. I blew him a kiss into the phone, and hung up with him.

In my pajamas, I crept downstairs and found mom on the couch, looking through baby pictures. I slid onto the couch beside her, and looked at all the photos, Her holding me in the hospital, Mom and Dad taking me home, My first birthday (apparently I had face-planted into the cake, as my face was covered in chocolate), my first Christmas, first steps, first bike, first day of school. I snuggled in and lay beside her. I don’t know when I drifted off, but I did. I didn’t even wake when Mom carried me up to my room and put me to bed. I slept soundly and peacefully that night, no nightmares or disturbing dreams for the first time in a long time.

~o~O~o~

I ADORE comments. Drop your questions, comments, and concerns please.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 12.

I got up ahead of the alarm, and got out of my pajamas. The events of last evening were racing through my head. I’m not a boy anymore, despite what appearances might say. Appearances. I walked over and looked at the full length mirror on the back of my door. Standing there naked, I looked at myself, more closely than I had before. I still looked mostly boyish, but I could see the girl peeking out. My small pointy nipples sticking up from my chest. I turned sideways and omg, how had I not even noticed that my butt was getting rounder. It was barely noticeable, but I was hyper-aware right now. I could see that my face was softening a little. I had had square, angular lines to my jaw and brow, but they were slightly softer. Everything else looked the same, and the doctor had measured the obvious things the day before.

My body still ached, so dad dropped me off at school before he headed to the office. I went into History and sat down, I noticed the girls were huddled around, and every now and then one would glance my direction. I took notice of them. I hadn’t really paid them much attention beyond the first day.

I noticed that of the four, one was hanging back. She was small, no more than maybe 5’2”, and very petite. She had on a long sleeve shirt, and a long skirt that was down to her ankles. Her black hair was hanging down in front of her face, she had obviously been growing it out since before her change. The ringleader appeared to be a girl with strawberry blonde hair and freckles. She was a little overweight, but not extremely. She was wearing baggy clothes that were not disguising the fact that she had curves and was on the big side, up top. The other two girls seemed kind of ordinary, nothing really noticeable about them both had brown hair and average builds for girls our age. One had blue eyes and the other had brown eyes under her glasses.

I paid attention to them as class went on, making sure to be more subtle than they were being. Something was obviously going on. I would have to ask Janie if she knew who any of them were.
After History, I made my way to the locker area. I was pleasantly pleased to see DeShaun come over.

“Hello!”, he said in a cheery voice. “Coming to the game tonight?”, He asked.

I nodded my affirmative, and he continued. “I don’t think it’s going to go that well, to be honest. Coach had to promote a couple kids from the 8th grade team. He also gave the starting positions to the kids that had been backing up the twins.”

I could hear the sadness in his voice, sure the twins had been jackasses to me, but nobody deserved what had happened to them. We said our goodbyes, and I headed to english class.

I was spacing out so hard that I almost missed the bell, ending class. I headed for the cafeteria, and met Janie in our usual place. DeShaun was also there, which was sort of surprising. I thought that they still had some sort of rivalry going on, with me as some sort of trophy.

“Erm, hello you two”, I said somewhat bewildered. “I thought you two didn’t like each other that much.”

DeShaun looked up at me. “Well, after you called us out the other day, we headed over to Jane’s place and talked it all out.”

Janie interrupted. “We are sorry, and we realized that it was really unfair of us to put you in the middle. You have all sorts of problems you need to focus on. We’ll try to not be one of them.” She looked at DeShaun and scowled. “Although I could have sworn that ‘don’t call me Jane’ was one of the things we talked about.”

DeShaun laughed. “Might have, I don’t know.”

Lunch went by, and I didn’t get a chance to talk to Janie about the girls. Fortunately, I would see her at study hall.

The day rolled on, and as I sat in biology class, I thought long and hard about my new life that was beginning. Miss Petri’s antics didn’t phase me as they had at first. And while I still thought she was hot, some of that luster was gone. That concerned me a lot, because if I was losing my attraction to girls, it meant I wouldn’t see Janie the same way. I was unsure about that, Was it permanent, or a function of my messed up hormones?

I had taken the pill this morning, after some difficulty. I know it had been prescribed to help me through my transition, but at the same time, it was a birth control pill. That hit me hard. I had spaced out at breakfast thinking about that fact. I pondered the possibilities that after I was finished, would I want to have sex with DeShaun? I was attracted to him, and I was starting to think it wasn’t just an after effect of the rut. He was plenty handsome. I felt that I wanted to get to know him better.
Would that be possible? After I transition, would I go out on dates with him? There were so many uncertainties, not the least of all was his family.

I got to study hall, and took my usual seat next to Janie. I mentioned the girls from first period, but she didn’t seem to know who they were either. We were all new to this ‘girl’ thing, and there was no handbook. My mom had told me that when she had been new t the whole thing, it had taken her quite a while to catch on. I found it strange that after the gender change, people were so vastly different. I sat and reflected on that.

Trying to be analytical, I could see the changes in Janie. As James, she had been rowdy, and girl crazy. She often got into minor tussles with other boys. Neither of us were jocks by any means, but we had played the usual park and rec sports, including baseball and basketball.

This new person, this Janie was much different than James. Sure she had fun when we played catch, but I could tell she had lost some of her excitement for athletics. She was more delicate. Of course, I don’t know how much of this was due to the change, or how much was Paul’s fault. She had gone from hyper extrovert to mild introvert. I knew her, and I didn’t at the same time. Would I be the same?

DeShaun met me at my locker after study hall, to walk me to home economics. He warned me that Brad and Pete had it in for me, that they blamed me for the death of the twins. As if I could spread the rut to them like a disease. Honestly, it had been what? 110 years or so since the rut first began. Still there were all sorts of idiots in the world that spread misinformation. Idiots like Paul’s Dad, who taught his son that women were weak, that men were superior. That you had to be macho and protect your manhood. That was the same crap that I was facing now.

Mom had been enlightened, she had played football, sure. But she knew what was important. Love.
What sort of woman will I be? Will I want a family? Will I still love DeShaun? Will I love Janie?

I sighed and shook my head, to try to clear my thoughts. Mrs. Beverly had her back to us, and was writing on the whiteboard. Something about cookies. I wasn’t really paying attention.

I saw DeShaun looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Without a word, he reached over and took my hand and held it gently, occasionally giving it a soft squeeze. Somewhere deep inside me, I melted, and my girlishness came closer to the surface. Was he my boyfriend now? I knew that the majority of rut-pairings often ended up in relationships. But I also knew about his family. We needed to talk. For now though, I was content.

Class ended all too soon. I made it through art, and mom picked me up and brought me home. I sat down on the couch and just kind of vegged out.

When mom came into the room next, I asked her something that keyed into all these thoughts. “Mom, when did you first recognize the female you? I have all these thoughts and feelings and emotions, but I don’t know what is what, and I am so confused...”

She looked at me with that loving smile she always got. “I really never had a ‘eurika!’ moment, but I think it might have been when I came to the realization that I didn’t have to be the strong, brave person I was as David. I could be Danielle, and still be strong, but I could allow myself to open up, to be vulnerable, and to let people see my softer side.” She tussled my hair and smiled. “that help at all?”

I nodded. “I think it does, at least a little bit.”

I got up, and headed upstairs to get dressed for the game. My body hadn’t changed enough that my male clothes no longer fit right, but I still felt the need to dress in baggy, at least for the moment. Maybe when I was complete, I could wear things that didn’t hide myself so completely, but I wasn’t there. I picked a pair of loose track pants and my new school hoodie.

Mom had agreed to pick up Janie, and to drop us off at the game. She gave me some money for refreshments, and maybe some fast food afterwards. We arrived at Janie’s door and she bounded out in a red plaid skirt and her own school hoodie. She had cute ankle socks on, and some red canvas high-tops. I got one look of her, and I knew that even with my chemically induced impotence, I loved this girl, and that she was hot. We arrived at the game, and staked out our seats. Janie offered to go to the concession stand for us, so I gave her my money, and requested a root beer and a hot dog with ketchup and mustard.

She arrived back a few minutes later and handed me my food. As we watched the pre-game festivities, I noticed that the ringleader from the stare-fest was on the sidelines, she was leading the cheerleaders in a cheer. I pointed her out to Janie, but she still didn’t know who the mystery girl was.
We listened to the band warm up, and I looked over at Janie. She had a spot of mustard on her cheek. I smiled to myself, and did what came naturally. Leaning over, I gave her a peck on the cheek, licking off the offending condiment. She blushed brightly and turned to me.

“What was that for?”, she asked.

I grinned. “Because I wanted to, certainly not because you had mustard on your face”, I said with a laugh.

She pouted, but it was a cute and sexy pout, one I could tell was also not serious. She reached over and took my hand in hers, and we sat there for a while, just watching. When DeShaun caught the game-winning last second touchdown, we both cheered, then we turned and kissed briefly. Things might not be so bad, I think… maybe?

~o~O~o~

I LOVE comments, so feel free to add your thoughts!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 13.

After the game Janie and I talked mom into dropping us off at the mall for dinner. We had plans to hook up with DeShaun there, after all where else would a group of teenagers hang out on a Friday? With the strict instructions to keep our phones on, and that mom would be here to pick us up at 11, we sat in the food court. I slipped into the line at the Subway counter and looked over at Janie, in the McDonalds line next to it. I looked over to her and she nodded. We had worked out our strategy. With one of us in each line, we could get everything faster, and so it was only a short time later that I sat down to my foot long sub, and fries. Janie had her fries and salad with salami.

I took a drink from my cup and made a face. “I think I got your diet coke”, I complained to Janie. She sipped her drink and handed it over. After a cautious sip, I confirmed that it was indeed my regular coke. Leaving her for a second, I walked over to the Dairy Queen stand and got a large Heath Bar Blizzard. When I got back, DeShaun had arrived, and was looking incredulously at my tray.

I looked up at him. “What?”, I asked pointedly. “If someone hadn’t put it in, then I wouldn’t have to have so many calories.”

DeShaun looked at me sheepishly, and sat down quietly. I stuck out my tongue and then smirked at him. “It’s okay, really. I was just teasing you. I’m trying to not dwell on it, and get over what happened. I’m not thrilled to be changing, but it is what it is.”

He nodded and looked down, before picking up his burger. He had barely taken a bite, when a voice behind him spoke up, causing him to nearly choke, and start coughing.

“Mom, what are you doing here?”, he asked as he turned around. Behind him stood a mountain of a man, at least 6’8”, and full of muscle. He had deep, dark chocolate colored skin, a goatee, and shaved head. Next to him was evidently the woman DeShaun had addressed as ‘mom’, she was perhaps 5’5”, and had s soft cocoa skin tone, her hair was braided into long braids. The most prominent feature about her though was her shape. To say she was pear-shaped would be an insult to pears. If I had to describe it, I would say she was closer to egg-shaped.

“Your father and I came to do a little shopping. Who are your little friends?”, she asked, emphasizing the word ‘little’, even though Janie and I were taller than she was.

DeShaun stood up and gestured to Janie. “This is Janie Bond, she and I have Algebra together.”

I looked over at Janie, who shrugged at me in that ‘you never asked’ way.

DeShaun cleared his throat and indicated me next. “And this is Casey Church, we have Home Ec. Together.”
DeShaun’s mother looked Janie over a couple times and unapologetically said out loud. “Son, you didn’t diddle this cracker, did you?”

I could all but feel the anger rising from Janie, but she just calmly sat there and softly said, “No, Someone else raped and sodomized me, but don’t worry. I have no designs on DeShaun.”

With that said, Janie turned and kissed me on the cheek. I felt Mrs. McAllister’s eyes shift to me. I still looked male enough, despite the facial changes I had gone through thus far, and my outfit was baggy enough to hide the small changes that were visible elsewhere. No wonder DeShaun had not wanted them to know about me. Sheesh. I wrapped my arm around Janie. I looked over at DeShaun, and I could see the emotions on his face. He looked back at his mother, and then over at Janie, then to me.
I could see the emotional turmoil going on inside him.

We were rescued when DeShaun’s father coughed and then spoke. “DeShaun, be home by 11:30, son. We’ll let you and your… friends… enjoy your meal. Later, kids.” As he and his wife turned, he glanced back at me and his eyes narrowed. Did he suspect something? I still had my arm around Janie’s shoulder, and was giving her a gentle squeeze. Her eyes were watering, and I could tell that she was trying hard not to cry.

I waved for DeShaun to give us some space. What I really wanted to do was knock his mother on her weeble-wobble looking ass. I hugged Janie as she sat there fighting back the tears. I couple minutes later, DeShaun came back with an M&M blizzard, and handed it to Janie. That seemed to stop the tears.

After we finished eating, we wandered over to Barnes and Noble. It was cliché that he walked over to the sports books, I guess. Janie made a beeline for the self-help section. I didn’t really have a set destination, but soon I found myself in the ‘emerging girls’ section. I bit my lip and flipped through various books on becoming a girl. There were books on the psychology of it, the biological changes and implications, and even books about sexual dysphoria following the change. Sheepishly, I finished flipping through, and I grabbed several that were aimed at different issues I was facing.

I looked around, finding Janie looking at books about surviving rape, clinical depression, and even self-defense for women. I approached, making my presence known, and put my arm around her shoulder.
She leaned in and nestled against me as we stood there. After a few minutes, we went searching for our third, and found him obliviously reading through a book on ‘Great Athletes in University of Minnesota History’, I peered over his shoulder, and to my shock, he was reading an article about mom.

Having surprised him, he quickly put the book back, pretending that he wasn’t doing what he was caught doing. I sighed. “Yeah, Mom was amazing, and is hot and all… but jeez could you not drool over her? Please? She might be your mother-in-law some day”, I chided. Then thinking about his mother… probably not.

Janie rolled her eyes and mouthed ‘boys’ silently to me, which got a chuckle out of me, before I realized it. I led Janie up to the cashier, and we paid for our books. There was plenty of time left, so I suggested we go upstairs to the movie theater.

DeShaun wanted to see Jurassic World, Janie offered up The Purge, and I mumbled inaudibly that I wished to see the Christopher Robin movie. Both of my companions shook their heads at my suggestion, and in the end we ended up watching Happytime Murders.

With Janie on my left and DeShaun on my right, I sat and watched the movie, laughing when both simultaneously tried to put their arm around me, only to encounter each other. Not so much when they each took my hand and held it, preventing me from eating my popcorn.

After the movie, it was almost time for mom to pick us up. DeShaun looked at me nervously and then spoke, “C… can I have a kiss?”

I had an idea at that point, and I couldn’t not do it. “Sure”, I said. “Just close your eyes.”

Obediently, he did as asked, And with a silent nod to Janie, I stepped back, out of the way. She placed both hands on his cheeks, and leaned in, giving him a big long juicy open-mouth kiss. After about a minute, I cleared my throat. His eyes snapped open and he pulled back, in a panic. In doing so, he fell backwards and landed on his butt, on the sidewalk.

After a few chuckles from Janie and myself, I nodded, and came closer. I gave him a peck on the cheek, and said, “good night.”

Timing was perfect, because right then, I heard the car horn honk. I looked over and Mom was looking out the driver’s side window of the cayenne. Janie and I both got in, and mom asked DeShaun if he wanted a ride. He shook his head, and informed us that he was going to get a ride back with his friend that worked at the Hallmark store. We waved goodbye as we pulled out of the lot. Mom dropped Janie off at home and I promised to call her in the morning. We pulled into the garage, and I climbed out of the car. I reached in and grabbed my books. Walking into the house, I headed upstairs to get ready for bed.

I had finished brushing my teeth, and was standing in front of the bowl, to pee. I waited and it started to come, slowly and uncomfortably. After several minutes I was finished, but I was in tears. Life was kicking me in the face with another reminder that I can’t be happy. After I washed my hands, I headed into the bedroom and flopped down on the bed with one of my new books. I opened it up and looked up my symptoms. It outlined everything in black and white and with diagrams. My urethra was narrowing in a few days, I could expect my penis to close up entirely, as a new one was already growing to replace it in the female location.

I closed the book and turned out the lights, sitting there in the darkness. I cried until I fell asleep.

Morning came, and I crawled out of bed. I made it downstairs as mom was fixing breakfast. I dropped my head onto the table with a soft thud. She looked over and noticed my position. “Something wrong dear? I thought you had a good time at the game, and after with your friends.”, I looked at her and sighed.

“Why does life hate me? Every time I think I’m adjusting, it pulls the chair out from under me and reminds me that I’m deluding myself”, I whined. She put the bread down and turned from the toaster and hugged me.

I explained what had happened last night, after we had gotten home. She rubbed my back and spoke to me in a gentle, loving voice. “I know that right now things seem bad. Hell, I took this part worse than you did. There was crying and screaming and yelling involved. I know that you didn’t choose to be female, but once you get past the rough parts, you will see how wonderful it can be. I did, and I have you to remind me of that fact every day.”

I smiled weakly. I knew mom’s heart was in the right place, but I was too depressed to care. All that I could think of was that my insides were playing some weird form of hide-and seek, combined with tag, and some other game that I didn’t know the rules of. I remembered that I had promised to call Janie, so after a couple pieces of toast, I decided to do just that. I needed to hear that voice, her voice. That would tell me that everything would be okay. She was the only one that could understand me, because she hadn’t wanted this either, and she had made it out the other side.

Janie arrived about 10 minutes later. She came up to my room, and found me curled up in the fetal position. She informed me that Mom had taken dad out and that they would be gone until Janie or I called them. I heard her, but it really didn’t register. I laid my head in her lap, and she stroked my hair gently. After a while, she took her shirt off, and then unfastened her bra and removed that as well. She laid down along side me, and once again she let me suckle on her breast like a baby as she held me and made me feel safe.

~o~O~o~

I love comments. Questions? Suggestions? Critiques? feel free.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 14.

I awoke feeling strange, there was something not right. It took me a minute to realize exactly what it was. The sensation of someone pressed against my back startled me awake. I rolled over, and found myself face to face with Janie. She was asleep, wearing one of Mom’s over-sized tees. I rolled over and promptly fell out of bed.

Getting up from the floor, I saw her open her eyes. “Morning”, she said in a sleepy voice.

I looked at her and stammered for a moment. She laughed and Sat up, pulling the tee down to cover her plain white panties. “After you called me in a panic, your mother spoke to my mom and got permission to say over”, she explained.

I sheepishly looked at myself, I was still wearing my same outfit from the night before. I grabbed some boxers, and a change of clothing from my closet and ran to the bathroom. I took a quick shower, and got dressed in the bathroom. I came back to find Janie had changed into her clothes from last night.

Sitting down next to her, I mumbled to her. “I’m sorry, I know I’m just a bother all the time.”

She looked me square in the eye, leaned closer and punched me in the shoulder… HARD. “You idiot”, she said. “You forget that I was in your place just a few months ago. When I went through it, I had to be put back in the hospital because I would scream and cry all night. They had to keep me under observation, and they made me wear adult diapers, in case of leakage during that part of the change.”

I shuddered, and looked at her. My precious girl. She smiled at me, and I felt good again. Since we had the opportunity, I leaned in and kissed her for a few minutes, while touching her breasts over her shirt.

After we were done, she grinned a huge grin. “I’m a lucky girl. I got to kiss two incredible kissers this weekend. And for the record, you are the better one.”

I blushed and held her hand as we went down stairs to breakfast. After a quick helping of pancakes, Janie had to head back home. Mom offered her a lift, but since it was a nice day, and it was only 6 blocks, she declined and walked home.

I sat on the porch in the sun, and reflected on things. It had been 10 days, but I already didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t mean physically, but that was becoming more and more true, as well. I was a wreck emotionally. I know that my body is flooded with conflicting hormones, but is that really why I keep falling to pieces? If it weren’t for Janie, I’d hate to think of where I’d be. For that matter, DeShaun is trying, I can’t fault him there. Having met his parents, I can see what he’s afraid of.

As I lay in the sun, I guess I nodded off, because I was awakened a delivery man. “Excuse me, miss… Is this where Sidney Church lives? I have a package that needs to be signed for”, he said.

I was taken aback for a moment that the delivery man had called me miss. “I’m his so... daughter, I’ll sign for it.”, I said as I took the package. The man arched an eyebrow momentarily, as I took the clipboard and wrote my signature. He looked it over and decided it was legit. He turned and walked back to his delivery van.

I walked back into the house, and put the envelope on the small desk in the foyer. “Dad! You have a package!”, I called. He came down and looked over at the stand where the letter sat, then he looked at me.

“Is something wrong, Casey?”, he asked with a hint of concern. I shook my head and shrugged, but he wasn’t convinced. “Don’t try to fool me, kiddo. I can read body language quite well. It’s a skill you pick up quickly as a lawyer.”, he chided gently.

I sighed and spoke. “Do I really look different? I know I wasn’t the most macho boy around, but the delivery guy called me ‘miss’ right away. I feel just so… strange. I’m a girl now, but I’m still a boy. And yet that part is fading away slowly, like a part of me is dying. I’m just so confused.”

Dad sat down on the bench by the door, and patted the spot beside him. “I can’t pretend to know what you are going through. I see you going through all this, and you have your mother to go to, and you have your friend Jane. I feel somewhat helpless. But I do know this. Boy or girl or in between, you are my child, and I will love you always.”, he said as he wrapped me in a hug.

I hugged him back, and buried my face in his chest. Dad wasn’t the biggest man around, but in his arms, he felt like a giant that could slay all the demons that came for me.

I took a moment and looked up at him. “You know, it’s entirely possible that I could become one of those girls that calls their father ‘daddy’, and is a huge daddy’s girl.”

He laughed and looked me in the face. “In that case, I reserve the right to spoil my little girl as much as I want.”

I laughed and let go of him. He went and changed, and we went out back and played catch for a while, then he ‘let’ me beat him at Mariokart… well, he claims he did, at least. I know the truth.

After a while dad went back to his study to work on something for his case. I went upstairs and read from my books for a bit. I was entering that stage, so with some degree of trepidation, I flipped open to the first chapter on what happens… down there.

I got a couple paragraphs in, when my phone rang. I looked at the number and smiled. “Hey DeShaun”, I said in a sing-song voice. “What’s up?”

I waited for a second for the answer. “I heard from Jane that you had a difficult night.”

Huh those two were talking about me to each other?
I took a breath. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Things are starting to rework themselves, and I had a little panic when it came to peeing. It’s all embarrassing girl stuff that you really don’t want to hear”, I said.

I heard him swallow, and I could imagine him doing the uncomfortable conversation dance. You know the one. That one that guys do when girls talk about girl things. I shook my head at that thought. Until recently I was the one doing that.

“There is something I want to ask you about, actually. In my first hour class there is this girl. She’s a little bit on the chubby side. Strawberry blonde, freckles. She keeps giving me odd looks in class. I figured you might know who she is, since she’s on the cheer squad.”, I stated simply.

I heard DeShaun swallow and there was a long silence. “Stay away from her. That girl is dangerous. Listen, I’ll be over in 20 minutes. Just hang tight until I get there.”, with that DeShaun hung up the phone. I was feeling very afraid now, and so I went downstairs and knocked on the door to dad’s study.

“Dad, DeShaun is coming over.”, I said through the door. I heard him shuffling papers and typing away on his laptop.

“Okay honey, just remember to keep your door open if you go upstairs”, he called out.

Omg! Dad was turning into the dad of a teenage girl faster than I was turning into a teenage girl.

DeShaun arrived exactly 17 minutes later, winded from biking all the way over. I invited him to sit with me on the porch swing, so we could talk. I brought a pitcher of lemonade out, and a couple glasses.

“So, what was so urgent that you had to ride over here like your ass is on fire?”, I asked.

He looked at me, noticeable concern showed in his eyes. “That girl, the one you described. Her name is Marcia Hayes. She and I have been in the same class since kindergarten. Back then she was Marc, of course, but she has always been a little odd. Her mother was a cheerleader, and her mother, and so far back that it goes back to before the incident. A family of domineering women. It was pretty much pre-determined that he would become a girl. The men of that family always disappear, and some under mysterious circumstances.”

I swallowed hard as he continued.

“While we were growing up, Marc would act strangely. There were reports of pets in the neighborhood going missing, and then turning up a few days later with serious injuries. I tried to avoid him, but he would stalk me and follow me. He was clingy, and often said that ‘he would be my girlfriend’ one day.”, DeShaun stopped for a sip of his lemonade.

I nodded and poured him another glass as he continued. “When he entered the rut before me, he was disappointed that he ended up with someone other than me. He forced that boy to rut him, and then broke both his arms. When the boy’s father threatened to call the authorities, Marc’s mother stepped in, and the other family suddenly relocated to another state. Since it came out that you and I were together, she might decide to come after you. Like I said, she’s crazy.”

I smiled at him, and took his hand. Stroking the back of it with my thumb, I leaned in and gave him a kiss. Mmm. Janie wasn’t wrong when she said he was a good kisser. I knew that very well. We sat there for a couple minutes before I felt someone looming on my right. Suddenly, I was pulled away from DeShaun, and a booming voice rang out with a loud “What in all hell is going on here?!?”

I landed on my ass as a huge towering man stood over me. I swallowed hard and watched as DeShaun’s father swung and hit him with a punch. Now DeShaun isn’t exactly small, but with his dad looming over us, he glared. I felt scared and began to cry. Damn my female hormones. I was weak, and getting weaker. I sat there helpless as DeShaun’s father hauled him up by the arm and threw him off the deck.

With all the noise and commotion, my father came running out, phone in hand. “I suggest you leave. I have already called the police. And seeing as I am good friends with many members of the police force and district attorney's office, I would go now, if I were you. And another thing. DeShaun stays here with us. Leave now and I won’t file charges for assaulting minors or trespassing.”, he said clearly and calmly. Dad might be only 5’5”, but seeing him stand down a mountain of a man like DeShaun’s father, I didn’t care how tall he was. To me dad was 9 foot tall.

I went over and helped DeShaun up, and hugged him, as soon as I did, the tears began to flow, and they would not stop. He reached around me and held me. I could feel my shivering, but with these two brave men here, I knew I had nothing to fear at all.

~o~O~o~

I ADORE comments, so please feel free to add your comments, criticisms, suggestions, and so forth.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 15.

I sat on the ground, my butt sore from landing on it after DeShaun’s father tossed me aside. Dad had gotten him to leave, and he left DeShaun there. I got up and hurried inside with DeShaun and Dad.

I showed him to the guest room, and joined Dad downstairs in his study. “What do we do now?”, I asked in a scared tone.

Dad looked at me and put his arm around my shoulder. “I’ll call Maggie Sullivan and get her to file a grant of temporary custody for DeShaun, and a restraining order against his Dad, barring him from contact with either of you. She owes me a couple favors.”, he said with a grim look on his face.

I gave him a hug and we sat down on the couch. DeShaun came down a few minutes later and sat on the other side of me. He held my hand as Dad looked over. “Thank you, Mr. Church. For letting me stay, I mean.”, he said.

“Call me Sid, please.” Dad said smiling. “It’s no problem. I know that things are tough for you. It’s hard to face the fact that the people that raised you can be so… hateful. You are welcome to stay here as long as you need.”

He looked over at DeShaun and got the ‘dad look’, “Remember though that Casey is my little girl, and my life. So be on your best behavior… Because You might be bigger and stronger than me, but there is nothing as scary as a parent protecting their child.”

DeShaun swallowed hard and nodded slowly. Good ol’ dad. I locked hands with him, and gently rubbed his hand with my thumb. He gave me a warm smile.

Mom came in with a bag of groceries, and Dad went to help unload the car. He looked over at us, raised an eyebrow. I blew him a raspberry as he turned to go.

DeShaun scooted closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “How are you coping?” he asked gently.

I sighed. “It’s tough. Slowly, day by day, hour by hour my body is betraying me. It hurts to pee, and it takes longer, and soon I’ll have to sit down to do it. My tits hurt, and are really sensitive. My ass feels huge. It’s awkward to walk, because I’m starting to get that girly swish to it. I hate it. And I don’t know if I hate it because I don’t want to be a girl, or if I hate it because I’m not enough of a girl.”

He looked at me sympathetically, and I reclined and laid my head in his lap. He softly rubbed my head and ran his fingers through my hair. I soon drifted off.

I woke up a little while later when DeShaun shifted positions. I looked up to see Mom and Dad smirking. I quickly sat up and blushed.

Dad spoke up. “DeShaun, if you are going to be staying here, there is something we need to do.”

DeShaun looked up at him, worried.

Dad grinned. “We are going to need to get you the essentials, come on let’s go. Casey, you can come too if you want.”

I hopped up and straightened out my hoodie and my sweats. “I’m coming!”, I said. We all went out and piled into the Cayenne, DeShaun was noticably guided to the front passenger seat, while Dad and I sat in the back.

We went back to the mall, stopping at Target first. Dad and DeShaun went off to get boys things, and mom pulled me aside. “Dear, I know you are having trouble dealing. I suggest some shopping therapy, it’s what we girls do.”, she said barely keeping a straight face.

We headed out of the store and into the mall heading for Victoria’s Secret, much to my embarrassment. I blushed and looked at her.

“Sweetie, I know you aren’t ready for this place yet. But you will need to be, and probably not too long from now.”

Mom led me through the area, and showed me different styles of bras and panties, explaining things like underwires, push-ups, and padding, I learned about demis and water bras and wonder bras. I never knew there were so many styles and varieties and purposes.

We wandered to the panties. French cuts, thongs, bikini, boy shorts, and so many more. I was admittedly overwhelmed. Mom gave me a hug. We wandered through the store, I looked at the manikins, wondering to myself what I would look like in them, wondering what sort of figure I would have. Would I be like Mom, busty with an hourglass physique? Would I be lithe and slender? I knew that I was starting to get a rounder butt, and that my breasts really were not doing much. I would be 14 soon, and I would still have a lot of growing to do, even after I finished the change-over. We walked over to the section of the store devoted to their pink line. Mom got some tank tops, sweats, tees and hoodies. She handed them to me and pointed me to the dressing room.

I looked at Mom and smiled. “Thanks for being the best mom ever”, I said. I would have hugged her, if not for the armful of clothing. I went into the dressing room and tried each and everyone on, stepping out to give mom a little fashion show. In the dressing room, I looked in the mirror and saw myself, not the male me. Rather the female one. The shorts and sweats showed off my derriere. I looked at my face.
The hard angles and more masculine features were fading. The softness and roundness of a more feminine appearance were taking hold. I didn’t look male, but I didn’t entirely look female either.

I took the outfits and picked out the ones that I thought would still fit after I was done changing. We walked to the register, and I put them down, shyly. Mom put her hand on my shoulder, and presented her credit card.

Mom’s phone rang, and she spoke to Dad, who was waiting over at the Caribou Coffee kiosk. We walked over and joined the men. I ordered a green tea, mom got a caramel cappuccino. Dad was having his usual black coffee, and DeShaun was drinking what appeared to be a black tea of some sort.

We went over what we had all bought, and just sat and talked. Dad had been talking to his friend in child services. She had pulled a few strings with a judge and had expedited a temporary custody agreement for DeShaun to stay with us. Due to Dad’s quick thinking, and his cellphone camera, the bruises on my arm from where his dad had grabbed me, combined with the bruise on DeShaun’s face had been convincing evidence.

After finishing our drinks, we all headed to Great Mandarin for dinner. I picked the buffet, and enticed DeShaun to do likewise. Mom ordered the General Tau’s chicken, and Dad went for the Szechuan Chicken. DeShaun and I went over to the buffet and loaded up our plates, I heaped my plate with the egg rolls, the teriyaki beef strips, crab legs, lo mein, fried rice, jumbo shrimp, sesame chicken, regular rice, and pork egg fu young. Deshaun lowered his head and shook it, before loading up his plate as well. We sat at the booth and everyone talked about what was going to happen next.

It was dad that broached the subject of permanent placement. DeShaun sighed, before speaking up. “I really don’t want to go back there. It’s not the physical stuff I worry about. I am serious about being there for Casey, in whatever way she’ll let me. But Mom and Dad are so racist. I would fear for her if I stayed there. I want to know she’s safe when I am around her.”

I interjected my two cents worth at that point. “What about your sister? If you could get in touch with her, would she take you in?”

He looked down and nodded. “She probably would, but I don’t know about my brother in law. I kind of took my parents side during the fight. I was young and stupid, and I felt mad that he took my big brother away from me. I sided with them, because I was living with them, and was afraid. I know I was stupid back then. But I don’t know if he can forgive me. And there are my nephews, I’ve never even met them.”

Dad lowered his head. “I know some people that owe me a few favors that might be able to track her down. I will call them tomorrow.”, he said as he patted DeShaun on the shoulder. I got up and went and got a second heaping plate of food. DeShaun looked at the huge mound of food, and shook his head in disbelief.

“What?”, I said defensively, “I need the extra calories because of the change.”

He snickered, and gave me a little smirk.

After that plate and a trip for thirds, we were finished. Dad and DeShaun went off to do some boy’s stuff, and Mom and I headed for more of our girl’s shopping.

We passed Claire’s, and I lingered. Mom looked at me. “Want to go in?”, she asked. I nodded and we went in. The sales girl came over and asked me if she could help me with anything.

I nodded and replied. “I… I’d like to get my ears pierced, please.”

I short time later, I was sitting and looking at the small studs in my ears, using Mom’s compact. We headed over after that to the salon, and Mom guided me in. Mom went over to the counter and talked to the receptionist. I picked up a book on hair styles. My hair had been getting a little long, and I found a longer bob cut that I liked, shorter with styled bangs that framed my face. When it was done, I looked in the mirror and shook my head, the short hair swinging around before bouncing back into place.

I looked over to Mom, who had gotten her long beautiful golden hair trimmed, and she smiled. I smiled back. After paying, we walked out and browsed at some shops, I looked at skirts and dresses. My masculinity wasn’t quite ready to accept those yet. Still there were very pretty dresses that I held up against myself, and could picture wearing… some day.

After turning opting not to get anything, and having also declined a manicure and pedicure, we went to hook back up with the men. DeShaun saw me, and my new and more feminine hairdo. I saw his drop. He was speechless, and I couldn’t help but smile. We walked back to the car, DeShaun with his arm around me. When we reached the house, he said good night to my parents. Then he kissed me, once Mom and Dad were out of the room.

He headed upstairs to the guest room. I sat on the couch and blushed bright red. I was getting a gushy, warm feeling in my chest, and my heart was beating rapidly. Even in my impotent state, I knew that I would be having all sorts of erotic dreams about him tonight, I knew that much. Fanning myself, I walked up the stairs, with perhaps a little extra sway and femininity in my walk. I reached my room, and lay down on the bed, gently touching my nipples and playing with them. I thought of him and began to breathe hard. I moaned softly, careful not to be heard.

~o~O~o~

I adore comments. please drop any questions, comments, and suggestions below.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 16.

I woke up early, and with a little help from Mom, I got my new haircut styled. I drew the line at make-up, I wasn’t ready yet for that blow to my faded masculinity. I had already received another overnight. My balls had ascended, meaning they had permanently withdrawn into my body, to make their transition into ovaries. I was sad at that, but I shook it off. The fact I would never be a Dad was clearly evident to me, and would smack me in the face a little more each day.

Mom had gotten me some bandages and I wrapped my non-existent boobs. I might not have anything to jiggle, but I certainly didn’t want the nips getting rubbed up. A pink tank top and some light gray shorts with the work ‘pink’ across the ass helped to accentuate my legs, and developing hips and butt. At the same time, they accentuated the fact my waist was narrowing. I threw on a gray hoodie with pink hood and sleeves. Some white socks rolled up around the ankles and my black chucks completed the look. Was it screaming ‘girl’? Yes, but I had a purpose for it.

I gathered my book bag and came down to breakfast. DeShaun almost did a spit-take with his orange juice upon seeing me. Priceless.

“What are you doing?”, He asked me.

I looked him in the face, and batted my long lashes. “I have to let the competition know that I’m not afraid to fight on their battleground.”

“I appreciate the thought”, he said. “But keep in mind that Marcia is crazy and very, very dangerous.”

I looked him in the eye and responded. “So am I.”

Mom dropped us off at school. I wish this damn ache would go away. At the same time though, when it does, I’ll know I’m done. It’s scary.

I walked into History and sat down. I glanced around the room as all eyes were on me. Including a pair in the back row that seemed to be shooting invisible bullets at me. The teacher wasn’t in class yet, and Marcia took the opportunity to walk over.

“So, who are you supposed to be?”, she sneered. If looks could kill, I would be a burnt corpse.

“Who me?”, I asked playing naive. “My name is Casey. I heard you know my boyfriend, DeShaun.”

After I made that declaration, the class erupted in stunned chatter. People knew DeShaun. The whole school new him. 6’ tall freshman wide receivers don’t come along every day. Especially not ones that
Made the starting line-up, and had whispers of ‘all-conference’ and ‘all-metro’ already being applied to them. I had just dropped the social bombshell of the school year, and everyone had heard it.

On the outside, I presented cool, calm, and collected. Inside, I was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. Would DeShaun be mad? What would Janie say? Would I lose him? Would I lose her? Would I lose them both? I sat and trembled on the inside for the rest of the class, maintaining the facade on the outside.

They say that if you want news to get out, tell a teenager. This is very true, as I was bombarded with questions in both English and Math. I sat and quivered internally during math, counting down to the inevitable… lunch, and the reactions of Janie and DeShaun.

I went to my locker to get my lunch, but when I got there, there was a crowd surrounding it. Students, faculty, and the school police liaison were all there. When I approached, I saw why. The door was caved in, and the words ‘bitch’, ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ were scratched in it.

I started to visibly shake, until Miss Petri came up and gave me a reassuring hug. She led me over to
Principal Lewis and the liaison. They had me confirm if anything was missing. To my dismay, my lunch was missing, as well as my textbooks and homework. Principal Lewis made note of that and reassured me that he would inform the rest of my teachers, and that he would get me replacement books.

Miss Petri pet her arm around my shoulder, and walked with me to the cafeteria. She spoke to the cafeteria lady, and got me some pizza, an orange and a coke. From there, she ushered me to the teacher’s lounge and invited me in. I sat down and started in on the pizza.

She looked at me and spoke gently. “I know you are scared. Everything is strange and new and different, and you are afraid. Don’t be.”

I looked up at her, questioningly.

She smiled at me. “I was in your shoes once. You might not have ever guessed, but I was a somewhat plain boy, the sort that never stood out. I kind of faded into the woodwork.”

She laughed when she saw the look of skepticism on my face. “It’s true. I was this gangly, awkward stick-figure with long legs and arms. But then the rut happened and I grew into something different. It was like I was a caterpillar that had come out of the cocoon as a beautiful butterfly. Suddenly people that had ignored me, or bullied me were tripping over themselves to ingratiate themselves to me. All these phony people came out of the woodwork. They didn’t want to know me, they just wanted to use me for their own status.”

I looked at her. This woman who was so open and free with her sensuality. “What did you do then?”

She looked at me and smiled. “I owned it. I owned my sensuality and my femininity. Guys wanted me as a conquest, girls wanted me to elevate their status. I said ‘screw all that’, and I made a point of making friends with the unpopular students. The sort that would never think of approaching me.
Those are the most honest of all, because They don’t have any expectations from you.”
I mulled over her words. James and I had been on the outside, but both of us were now getting more attention. I had noticed the looks when I had shed my veil of masculinity and gone for the more feminine look. Janie got more than a few looks from the boys too, from what I saw.
‘Does that really work?”, I asked.

Miss Petri smiled. “Absolutely! That’s how I met the boy that would become my girlfriend one day.”, she stated.

I sat and thought about it. The more I did, the more it made sense. The voice in my head said to me ‘fuck Marcia’. After lunch ended, I thanked Miss Petri and walked with her to class.

Janie was already there when I entered, and she looked me over, gobsmacked. She hadn’t been privy to my transformation. I took my seat, and she leaned over and whispered to me. “Wow, if you weren't so damn cute and sexy in that outfit, I’d kick the crap out of you for missing lunch. And what’s this about DeShaun being your boyfriend?”

I hurriedly explained the events of the prior day, and how he was staying in the guest room, and then I mentioned Marcia and her attitude. I also told her about his warnings about her. She turned and got this sad look on her face. Class began, and our conversation was interrupted. Whenever I looked over, I saw the look on her face. I had hurt her, and I had not even intended to. I was determined that I would correct things when I could talk to her in Study Hall.

Unfortunately, the best laid plans, and all that. On my way to Study Hall, I was intercepted by Principal Lewis, who instructed me to join him in his office. I followed him to the office, where Officer Coleman was waiting. I looked at the liaison, She was a tall, slim woman. Her hair was coppery red, and she had emerald green eyes. If I had to describe her fully, I would say lithe. She looked the sort that didn’t so much walk the school halls, as stalk her prey through them.

“So, Casey we’ve looked into the incident. We found your school books, but they are a total loss. They were burned and the words ‘die bitch die’ had been scrawled on them. I don’t mean to scare you by telling you this, but If there is anything you can tell me that might help, I’d be grateful.”, she stated in a no-nonsense manner.

“W..well”, I stammered. “I went to first period and Marcia Hayes confronted me.” I paused to settle down a little.

“Go on”, stated Officer Coleman in that manner of hers.

“She didn’t take it well that I’m d… dating DeShaun McAllister. She’s had a history of obsession with him, going back to when they were in school together. I’m fairly sure that this was all her doing.”

The two adults asked me various questions, most of which I didn’t have answers to. Eventually the questioning ended, and Mr. Lewis escorted me to Home Ec.

When I got there, He pulled DeShaun from the class for questioning. He managed to glance over at me, and I nodded to him silently. He nodded back as they headed for the office.

I sat through Home Ec and Art, not really paying attention. My thoughts were on DeShaun, and Marcia, but most of all they were on Janie. After school, I tried to reach her phone while waiting for Mom to arrive. DeShaun was waiting a little ways away, trying to not look conspicuous. We hadn’t talked after the mess with the principal and the school officer. I had kind of thrown it out there that we were dating, and that we were a ‘couple’, I know he wanted that. But stupid ol’ me, having jumped the gun.

I reached Janie’s voice mail, and left a message. I sighed and walked over to DeShaun. “I'm sorry about announcing to all of my home room like that. I should have known that it would get around. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to get Marcia off our back. I see her every day, with her little clique planning and plotting and scheming. They sit in back of the class and glare at me.”, I said to him remorsefully.

He smiled and put his arm around me. “It’s really okay. I was going to ask you when I thought you were ready. I’ve seen you fighting with yourself over what I did to you. I am sorry for that. I don’t know if you can ever completely forgive me, or yourself for that matter. But I’ll be here for you regardless… because apparently I’m your boyfriend. I do think that you need to talk to Jane about all this. She seemed really off at lunch and in class.”

I nodded and tried her phone again. It rolled over to voice mail again. When Mom arrived, I convinced her to swing by Janie’s house, after explaining the incidents today.

As soon as we got there, I got out and went up to the door. Nobody was home, which was unusual for this time of day. I got back in the car, and we headed home. I headed upstairs and got started on my homework, but my mind wasn’t really in it.

I picked up the phone and called Janie once more. I was shocked to hear the voice on the other end. “Mrs. Bond? It’s Casey. I’ve been trying to reach Janie, but there’s been no answer. Is everything okay?”

Mrs. Bond paused and started crying. “Oh Casey, it’s...she... we are at… St. Francis Hospital. Janie.. Janie tried to kill herself again.”

I dropped the phone, and collapsed to the floor. I don’t even remember when everything went black.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 17.

I walked into History class and dropped my new books down on my desk. I looked to the back of the room, where Marcia was sitting and pretending to buff her nails. She looked over at me and sneered.

“I heard your girlfriend tried to kill herself yesterday, and that she might not make it. Don’t you feel terrible now? For stealing DeShaun from me, and pushing your crazy lesbo girl to want to die?”, She said to me tauntingly.

I looked at her with rage in my eyes. I could take her easily. I wanted to beat her ass up right then and there. But I noticed her two ‘dogs’ move to her side. The brunettes that were always there glared at me, making me reconsider. I also noticed the small girl hid behind her, she looked terrified, but not of me.
I moved back to my seat, as the gathered students watched us both carefully. Soon the teacher had come in, and the class began. But all through it, I saw the evil bitch glancing my way and smiling.

The school day drug past like a snail. I worried about her, about my love. All this had happened and I felt at fault. She was in the hospital, unconscious. Hanging on to life. Lunch was somber, DeShaun and I sat in silence, eating with our heads down. We glanced to each other in Home Ec, but there was nothing we could say.

Mom picked up DeShaun and I and drove us to the hospital. We were allowed only a few minutes, but I walked in and looked over her. Here arms were bandaged up, and wrapped She had bandages over her forehead and her left eye. She was in restraints. I turned and fled the room, coming out and burying my face in DeShaun’s chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

Janie’s Mom came up from behind us somewhere and looked at us with a glare that could kill. “I don’t believe it! I don’t believe your fucking audacity! She nearly killed herself, she was distraught because she thought she was losing you to him. And what do you do to my baby? You bring him here and rub her face in it!” She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away from DeShaun. I turned and felt the impact. My face stung from the slap, and my tears ran down my face over the spot.

I ran away, down the corridor. I don’t know why I ended up in the chapel, but I did. I wasn’t particularly religious, hell, if anything I was a walking testimony to the hypocrisy of religion.
Despite all that, I knelt down and prayed. Not to anyone in particular, but I just needed to get my emotions out.

DeShaun entered, and knelt down beside me. I leaned in and put all my weight onto him. He was a rock. I had all these hormones and all these emotions swirling inside me and fighting. I would be angry one moment and crying the next. It wasn’t fair. Janie didn’t need to hack up her arms and try to kill herself.

I just leaned against my rock and sobbed, not saying anything. After what seemed like an eternity, I dragged myself to my feet and headed back to where Mom had been. DeShaun trailed discreetly behind at a distance. When I reached Mom, she was still outside the room, still with Janie’s mother.

I slunk up, and hid behind mom. Debra Bond looked at me, then turned away. I looked in at Janie once again, before Mom motioned to DeShaun. We walked silently to the car and left. I couldn’t get the image of Janie out of my head, she was so still and so small-looking. Not at all the vibrant, energetic girl I knew.

I sat on my bed thinking about everything. Seeing her with that ventilator breathing for her. The bandages over her forehead, both arms wrapped up like a mummy. That wasn’t her. She wouldn’t have cut up her arms, she wouldn’t have torn them up. It didn’t make sense. I lay on the bed, not going down for dinner, not going out for anything. I just lay there until I drifted into the realm of nightmares.

Morning came. I dragged myself out of bed. I threw on something and headed downstairs. DeShaun had practice in the evening, so I would be getting a lift home by myself. We both quickly wolfed our way through some cheerios, and headed out to the garage. Mom dropped us off without a word, and we headed to out lockers, and then I went to brave the war zone with Marcia.

I walked into the classroom with my head held high. My opponent was sitting in her usual place at the back of the class, with her enforcers and her… spy? I looked at the small girl again, and she cowered at my gaze. The thug girls move in front of her and blocked her from my sight.

“Marcia, DeShaun doesn’t want you. You have hung on him all this time, hoping that he would bew the one to rut you. And when you changed first, I know you were mad. But don’t mess with me, I’m not in the mood!”, I said in a loud voice. Everyone in the room got quiet and the focus turned to me.

“You are just the flavor of the week, so what if he made you into his bitch? So what? I’m his destiny.”, she said with a sneer. I looked at her and shook my head.

“Were you this nuts when you were a boy, or is this a recent development?”, I wondered out loud.

I saw the ire and rage in her eyes. I had struck a nerve. “Shut up! Just shut up! A boy? I was never a boy. Momma told me so. I was just a girl in a broken body, but now I’m me at last. And now that I am, you will pay for taking him. Just like your…”, she trailed off and sat there silent.

Her goons stepped up in front of her. The blue-eyed one glared at me. “Don’t think that you will get away with insulting the boss, because we will find a way to hurt you.”

I turned away, and as I did so I glanced again at the weak link in their group. She was still trying to hide behind the others.

I walked off to my next class. I hardly remember the rest of the school day. Mom picked me up and drove me home. I stripped off my clothes and flopped face-down onto the bed. I must have fallen asleep, because I didn’t hear DeShaun knocking on the door. When it opened, I stirred and then screamed. I didn’t roll over, I didn’t face him. I forgot to cover up. I just screamed for him to get out.

What else could go wrong? I lay there for a while, then Mom knocked at the door. “can I come in?”, she asked in a quiet voice.

“One minute!”, I responded. I hurriedly put on some of the boxers Mom had gotten me and a tank top.

“Ok, I’m ready”, I finally responded. Mom entered and looked at me with a thoughtful look on her face.

“DeShaun wanted to come up and apologize, but I thought it might be better if I came up and smoothed things over. But first, stand up.”, she said.

I did, and she looked me over, before making a little ‘turn around’ gesture with her hand. I sighed and did as she asked. She bit her lip and got that far away looks she gets when thinking intently.

“What?”, I asked, a little miffed at the staring.

She frowned and then apologized. “I’m sorry, I just haven’t seen you in anything baggy or that covers you up in a while. It was kind of a shock to see how far you have changed. You are far ahead of where I was after the same number of days.”

I shook my head and sighed. “and?”, I said dejectedly.

“And nothing. You are growing into a very beautiful young lady. Be prepared for other girls to get jealous of you. I know how it can get. When I was developing into a girl, I had my share of haters.”

“But I’m not-” I started.

Mom cut me off. “Don’t be modest. You are already very pretty, and will only get more so as you continue to change. After all, you are my kid”, she said with a laugh.

I smiled at her. “Thanks Mom.”, I said. “I’ll be down in a little while.”

I went into the bathroom, and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. I still had no breasts, but did have nice half dollar sized areola, and my nipples had grown to the size of a brand new pencil eraser. My upper body was losing the boyish rigidity, and becoming softer. I looked down my chest to my flat tummy, and the narrow waist, taking notice of how it had definitely drawn inward, creating more noticeable curves when taken in with my expanding hips. I turned and looked with dismay at my butt.

It was plump and firm looking, with a definite swell. Great…. I was going to be flat chested with a bubble butt. I brushed my hair behind my ears, showing off my rounding face. I could see hints and signs of Mom’s Norse goddess ancestry. Dad’s sharp, severe angles and chiseled hard angles were fading. My nose was smaller, and buttonish, with a slight upturn. And my lips were getting bigger, giving me a hint of a pouty face.

Okay, so maybe I’m not going to be ugly. But I’m still not hot. I’m not going to be hot.

Sighing again, I threw on a pair of gray sweats and that pink and gray hoodie I was becoming fond of.
I marched downstairs to find DeShaun sitting alone on the couch. Mom and Dad apparently were out back on the patio.

I looked DeShaun squarely in the eye. “First of all, don’t enter my room without permission. If I don’t respond, don’t do it.”, I said in a huff.

He slumped his shoulders, and looked down.

“Secondly, what did you see?”, I demanded.

He blushed and fidgeted. “I.. I’m sorry. I got a look at you from behind. I only saw your backside. I swear. But if I might say something. It’s a sexy backside. And you are getting curvy and hot. I was crazy about you before, but wow.”, he said as he crossed his legs awkwardly.

I laughed. “Flatterer. I guess I have no choice but to forgive you … this time. But I mean it. I don’t want you to see me like this. Not as some freakish half-way. Only as I was, and only as I fully will be.”, I said with a grin. Then I walked over and promptly plopped myself in his lap.

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek. I leaned back into his chest. Content for the moment. I understood why crazy bitch wanted him. But for me, it wasn’t just his body, he cared and was compassionate. The more I thought about her though, the more suspicious I got. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I sighed as he kissed my neck, and I snuggled in against him. My boyfriend. I liked that. But when I thought of that, I got sad again. Janie was fighting for her life. And It was all my fault.

~o~O~o~

I ADORE comments. Drop your questions, suggestions, and opinions below!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 18.

I walked through the hallways, reaching my locker. It was morning, just before first period. I had my hood drawn up, and was trying to not garner any attention. That wasn’t an easy task, as even in loose sweats people were noting my ass. I grumbled and dialed the combination. When I opened the door, an envelope fell out. I picked it up and stuffed it in my pocket as I gathered my books for first period.

I stopped off at the girl’s bathroom. Yes, to my dismay, my status meant that I was instructed to use them from now on. In the stall, I sat and peed. Urgh… yeah, with my plumbing reorienting itself, I had to pee sitting down, in case my immature female urethra decided to dribble. After finishing, I opened the envelope and found a key, and a note.

I read the note to myself. ‘Beware the spider, spinning its webs. It has 8 eyes to watch you, though 2 look away. It has 8 arms, but 2 will not kill. Still, be wary for it has plans for to kill you, just like the butterfly. Your safety lies hidden in a box. Remember 228 will protect you from your fate. Look for when the 2 eyes are upon you, for they are the chance to flee. Don’t bank on an easy time, your safety could depend on feeding the beast’

I looked at the note curiously, and then pocketed it and the key. I got up, washed my hands and went to class as if everything were normal.

I reached the class and looked around. Marcia was in her spot, looking around and whispering. The brunettes were flanking her on either side. Looking at them, They had to be sisters. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed that before. The small, black haired goth girl sat off to the side, reading a book and pointedly not looking at me.

I sat down and did my best job ignoring Marcia and her goon squad, though every now and then I felt the impact of some small object or another. Mr. Hedges entered and things settled down. I listened to his lesson on the annexation of the Sudetenland by Germany. Class let out, and I hustled on to the next class.

When lunch came around, I sat in the normal spot, waiting for DeShaun. Unfortunately, Marcia came over and sat down in his usual spot. Her thugs were as usual on either side of her. Goth girl wasn’t with them.

I looked at her and sneered. “Where’s your little shadow?”, I asked Marcia, even as I stared at the brown-eyed sister.

“Hmm? Oh her. She has a different lunch period. You don’t need to worry about Luna. She’s just a sad little sheep that I’ve herded to my flock. The three of us are the ones you need to worry about, that is of course if you don’t break up with DeShaun and leave him for me.”, Marcia said, poison dripping with each word.

I looked at the sisters. “What’s with Thing 1 and Thing 2? Can’t they speak?”, I asked with a smirk.

The blue-eyed one glared at me and lunged, but her sister grabbed her and held her back.

“Amy, stand down.”, Marcia said, and the blue-eyed one gave a ‘hmph’ and backed off. Both girls were taller than I was, since I was still shrinking. I smirked at Amy, and she stepped forward again, but her sister held her arm out to block her.

DeShaun arrived right then and motioned for me to follow him. I didn’t like that they had taken our spot, but I was already tired of the drama.

I looked at him and whispered. “Do you have class with any of them the next couple periods?”, pointing my head subtly at the evil slut-gang.

“I have May in 5th period. But 4th is free. Why?”, he asked.

So the other sister is May. Hmm. How totally twinsies. I sighed. “Look this over in your pest-free period and give it back to me in Home Ec.”, I said, slipping the envelope to him. I kept the key in my pocket. “There was also a key, but I’m going to hold on to that”, I stated.

I slipped the envelope to him under the table while the goon-squad was looking away.

After lunch, I dodged the crowds and got back to my locker. There wasn’t anything new or unusual this time. I grabbed my books for next period. Turning, I saw the little shadow trailing me. She must have seen that I had noticed her, because she ducked behind some taller kids and disappeared.

When it came time for Home Ec. I arrived slightly early. DeShaun was there. He was looking over the note and thinking. I sat down beside him, and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“What do you think?”, I asked him.

“I don’t like that bit about the ‘butterfly’ it’s obvious to me who that means.”, he said. “the spider bit got me though.”

I looked at him. He was cute, and smart enough, but he was like a broken street fighter game, no guile at all. “There are 4 of them. That makes 8 eyes and 8 arms. Saying that 2 arms and 2 eyes aren’t involved means we might have inside help. Possibly the person that left the note and the key. We have to figure out how the key fits into all this.”, I said, with a sigh. We both sat and thought about it as class began.

I survived the rest of the school day with nothing else strange or unusual going on. I sat out front of the school waiting for Mom. DeShaun had practice and would walk home after.

Mom and I headed to the hospital to visit Janie. I was nervous because of what had happened with Janie’s Mom, but I was doing my best to stay upbeat. I walked out of the elevator, and down the corridor to Janie’s room. I was greeted by Janie’s Mom, who quite suddenly wrapped me up in a hug.
To say that I was shocked would be putting it mildly.

“Oh, Casey honey, I’m so sorry for all the hurtful things I said. I was hurt, and lashing out. You didn’t deserve it. But I have wonderful news! Janie is awake! She asked to see you earlier. I told her you were still in school. Go on in!”, Janie’s mom said in an overjoyed voice.

I ran in as quickly as I could. Janie lay there in the bed. The bandage was off from her forehead, and they had removed the patch from over her eye. Her eye was swollen and black, and she had a nasty gash across her forehead. Her arms were still wrapped, but they were no longer restrained.

She called over to me in a weak voice. “Casey, Casey my love. I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

I gave a dismissive wave, indicating it was no big deal. “I’m fine, but more importantly, what happened to you?”, I asked.

She looked at me with her good eye, and spoke. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember much. I had gotten home, and was unlocking the door. I felt someone come up behind me, and they slammed my head into the door.”

I nodded. Janie was at the end of the cul de sac, and the high bushes around her yard would provide ample places to stake an ambush, and would block the view of any possible observers.

Janie continued talking. “I’m told that I was dragged into the kitchen. I was unconscious, thankfully, so I don’t remember them cutting my arms and wrists. Someone smeared my blood on the edge of the counter to make it look like I had hit my head after I had fainted. The door was cleaned up, so sign of blood was found on the door. They tried to make it seem like I tried to kill myself.”, she sobbed.

I stroked her head gently. Poor Janie. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I said in rapid succession.

She looked up at me with that big crystal blue eye. “About you and DeShaun? Don’t be. I knew that you two would become boyfriend and girlfriend. Just remember. I’m still your girlfriend too, ya know.”, she said with the faintest hint of a smile.

I laughed and looked back at her. “Sure thing, now you just have to become his girlfriend too, and we can cause the school gossip mongers all sorts of fun.”

She looked at me and the smile returned. “Don’t think that I haven’t thought about it. We’d have to figure out the sexual logistics though.”, she said.

I looked at her and swallowed some saliva wrong, and began to have a massive coughing fit.

Janie laughed and smiled, and then winced a little when she laughed too hard.

I spent an hour talking to her, just little stuff really. I knew she wasn’t ready yet to hear about the note.
Still, it was obvious that she was the ‘butterfly’, and I was determined to find the proof that Marcia had done this.

All too soon, the time to leave was upon us, and I said my farewells, and gently kissed her cheek.
I was determined that they would pay.

DeShaun was home from practice, and had fixed dinner. I was surprised. The burgers were delicious, and the seasoned fries were perfection. He was attractive, kind, and could cook? I would never let him get away.

Mom and Dad retired to the couch to watch TV after dinner, leaving DeShaun and I alone in the dinning room to study. I had a light workload today, so I finished quickly. After a while DeShaun closed his books, and asked to see the letter again. We sat and read it again and again, looking for hidden meaning. Stumped, I took the key and walked into the living room.

“Mom, Dad”, I said. “Someone left this key in my locker. And I’ve been trying to figure out why.

I think it has something to do with why Janie was hurt.” I explained about the note, and let them see it.
Dad made several noises while reading the note, mostly angry ones.

Mom took the key and inspected it. “I think I know what this key is for. Tomorrow, before your appointment, we will swing by the bank.”, she said.

“The bank?”, I said questioningly.

Mom looked at me. “If I’m right, this key fits a safe deposit box at the bank over by the grocery store. The clues are in the message. It mentions the word Safety twice, as well as it being in a box. The part about 228, that has to be the box number.”

“Ah!, I get it. And the part about feeding the beast… that has to refer to the Cub Foods grocery store. The closest one happens to be next to Wells Fargo Bank!”, I said in a moment of enlightenment.

DeShaun put his hand on my shoulder and gently patted it. I put my hand on top of his, and gently caressed it. Dad cleared his throat, and we quickly stopped, both of us blushing that we had been caught in the display of affection.

We had the solution. Tomorrow we would go and find out what was going on. There was someone out there that knew what was going on, and I would find out who. And once I go the whole truth, I would make that twisted psychopathic bitch Marcia wish that she had never been born.

With Janie okay, and with my new determination, I knew that tonight I would sleep well. And I did. Tomorrow, watch out Marcia Hayes. I’m coming for you.

~o~O~o~

Let me know how I'm doing! I love your comments, questions, and critiques.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 19.

I sat on the exam table, as Dr. Foster looked at the results of my measurement. I was down to 5’5 11/16” I was officially shorter than Janie now, something I’m sure she would get some form of satisfaction out of. At the same time, my weight was also down. I was at 129 lbs. I had noticed how small I looked, compared to how I was, but at the same time, It wasn’t that I was skinny, more like I was getting more delicate.

An ultrasound was performed. I hated that gel, it was always so damned cold. The doctor pointed out to me that which was once my prostate. It had fully moved into position, and was looking, to him at least, more and more like a uterus. He pointed out on it the two buds on it that would become my Fallopian tubes. I shuddered. More so when he pointed out the almond shaped masses that were growing beside it all. Yup, my balls were no longer, and I was getting ovaries. I bit my lip at that revelation.

I sighed as the next step was going down to the MRI room. They did a full body scan. I sat in the large chamber and thought about the envelope that sat in the car. We had stopped at the bank before coming to the hospital. The safety deposit box had contained a large manila envelope stuffed to near full. When We got home, Mom and I would look it over. In the mean time I had to sit and have my de-masculinization officially charted.

After the ordeal of sitting in the large tube was done, we were back in the doctor’s exam office. Motioned for me to join him in front of the monitor, where he showed me the results. “This is your skeletal structure”, he pointed out. “From what I am seeing, your pelvis has fully reformed into the typical shape for a girl your age and height. You may still feel some discomfort and notice some shrinking for the next few weeks. From what I see, it looks like you will end up around 5’3 ½” to 5’4”, roughly.”

Great, I’m going to be DeShaun and Janie’s ‘cute but tiny’ girlfriend. I outwardly let out a sigh.

The doctor continued on. “From what I’m seeing your urethra should fully close up in your penis in the next 3-4 days, so remember to urinate in a sitting position. You might feel some secondary wetness, as the rerouted opening becomes active. Once the original opening is closed, your urinary stream should normalize to it’s new release point.”

I inwardly shuddered at the thought of my dick becoming completely useless. I never the less asked the question that was on my mind. “Doctor, when will it feel arousal again?”

He looked at me and responded. “Once it has adapted to no longer being the urinary output system, you should see increased adaptation into becoming your clitoris.”

I shivered, the descriptions were so cold and analytical, but I knew what he meant. I had self-measured this morning, and I was down to a mere 5 inches long. Likewise, my scrotum, now empty was also shrinking.

The doctor continued. “I see nothing to indicate that you are not transitioning normally. I would say that you should be externally completely female probably by the end of next month.”

I looked at the doctor and had one last question. “Doctor Foster, what about my breasts? They have hardly changed. Other than being a little itchy, and my nipples and stuff being larger, I’m still as falt as a boy.”

He looked me in the face. “I wouldn’t worry about that. Not all women develop noticeable breasts. All indications are that you have normal, healthy developing mammary glands. If you were to become pregnant after your transition, you should be able to produce milk just fine. At the same time, let me remind you that you are still not yet 14, and you may just be a late developer. You could start to develop more before the end of your Transformation, or afterwards. Your current size is no indication of final result by any means.”, he reassured me.

After that, the doctor left the exam room, and let me get out of the uncomfortable paper robe, and back into my normal clothes. After a little while, Nurse Betty knocked on the door, and l followed her out to the waiting room. Mom was sitting there, reading a magazine. By pure coincidence, she happened to be on the cover. Although she was largely retired from celebrity, she still did the occasional modeling shoot, or fitness article. I had to admit that Mom was the very definition given to MILF, as others had pointed out to me. She looked good for someone that would turn 36 in December.

Because we were in the hospital, we of course dropped in on Janie. She was in better spirits today. Not as tired. I sat bedside, as my Mom and her Mom had gone down to the cafeteria for coffee.

I took her hand, which was wrapped still, but had her fingers free. I held it gently. “I just saw Doctor Foster, I’m officially the ‘short one’, congrats on that. You get a cute shorter girlfriend.”

She laughed weakly. “Mah Petit one”, she called me.

I looked at her. The eye was still puffed closed. Stroked the back of her hand with my thumb trailing over the bandage. “Always.”, I said.

She looked up and a tear had trailed down her cheek. I wiped it away gently. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to hear about DeShaun and I like that. I wanted to talk to you. I am attracted to him, but I also love you. Mostly, I said it to get that crazy bitch to back off. Instead she did this to you.”, I said, fighting off my own tears.

Janie looked me in the eye and smiled that beautiful, warm smile of hers. “I was a little down at first, but I figured it was something like that. I’ve seen those twin bodyguards of hers lurking around us, as well as that small girl. She’s followed mt in the hallways, thinking she wasn’t being noticed. Hard not to notice someone that wears all that goth loli stuff.”, she explained.

I had to laugh at that. How true. How true indeed.

She looked at me with that naughty little smirk of hers. “We will find a way to work things out. If you are his girlfriend, I’ll be whatever fits. Whether it’s as your girlfriend, as both of your girlfriend, or whatever. All I know is that I’ll always be your friend, no matter what. Benefits or not… Though I would prefer benefits, personally.”, she said.

I carefully stood up and leaned over her and gave her a passionate kiss, which all too soon was broken up by the sound of our mothers clearing their throats from the doorway. We both blushed as we broke the kiss.

Mom and I said our goodbyes, and headed home.

In the car, Mom spoke up. “Make sure you three know what you are doing, this triangle of yours could easily turn into a big mess if someone gets hurt.”

I nodded, and we rode the rest of the way in silence.

We walked in from the garage, and went to Mom’s office. There we sat down and opened the envelope.

Pictures fell out, along with a notebook, and a flash drive. Mom picked up the pictures, and looked through them first. I watched her reaction get increasingly disgusted. She put the pictures down, after she finished. “You may look at these, they are very disturbing though. And if what is written on them is true, this Marcia girl is dangerous. I don’t want you doing anything until your father and I talk about this, and how to handle it.”, she stated clearly.

She picked up the notebook and began to read through it. While she did, I picked up the pictures. The first one was of a dead dog, its head caved in. On it someone had written. ‘Killed by Marc Hayes -1/14/15’, flipping through the other pictures, there were pictures of raccoons hung from tree branches, squirrels skinned and staked to the ground, cats floating dead in a barrels of water. Dozens of pictures of different animals killed and mutilated in various ways. She read through the notebook with a look of intensity I’d not often seen from her. When she finished, she put it in her desk drawer, and locked it.

“I think it’s in your best interest to not read this. But suffice it to say, I do NOT want you talking to or antagonizing this… girl.”

She opted to wait for Dad to get home before looking through the flash drive. When they did, I was not allowed in the office. DeShaun had come home by then, and we sat in my room doing homework, the door open, as per the rules.

I flipped through the books, as classical music played in the background. It was one of the things DeShaun and I agreed on, having similar tastes. I was spent after a long, difficult day. I motioned to DeShaun to join me over on the bed. He came over and sat down, as I lay my head in his lap. He gently stroked my had and brushed my hair. I was getting more and more used to my female impulses and desires, and as he put it, I getting more ‘snuggly’, I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but I was sure it wasn’t a bad thing.

As I lay there, eyes closed. I could hear Mom and Dad arguing over the music. I drifted off to sleep, not even waking to have dinner. When I woke up around 10:30, DeShaun had left. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and staggered back to bed.

Mom was quiet as she dropped us off at school. Dad had left early, before I had even woken up. Breakfast had been silent awkwardness, served with cheerios, bananas, and orange juice.

I made my way to first period, but when I got there, I found the door closed. I peeked in, and yikes.
A Couple boys were feverishly going at it, in full rut. I was astonished. Quickly closing the door, I waited outside and dissuaded people from trying to enter. When Mr. Hedges arrived, I explained the situation. He sighed, and sent a runner to the office to tell the Principal that we would be having an outdoors class.

Roll call was taken in the hall, and we marched out to the football stands, sitting down as Mr. Hedges gave an impromptu lesson on Jesse Owens and the 1936 Berlin Olympics. During the discussion, I noticed the School liaison approaching with two Hennepin County Sheriff officers. They walked up to the bleachers, and headed to the back row of students.

Mr. Hodges started to protest the interruption, but Officer Coleman walked over to him and said something that I couldn’t quite hear.

Meanwhile, the officers stopped and motioned for Marcia to get up. She looked at them, and stayed sitting, but after glancing at their holsters, she thought better of it, and stood. One of them slapped a handcuff around her right wrist, and pulled it behind her, the left followed soon after.

He was a tall man, of probably Native American descent, and when he spoke, his voice projected loudly. “Marcia Louise Hayes, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Jane Bond. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights, as I have read them to you?”

Marcia turned her head and glared at me with murderous intent. “I do, officer”, she said through clenched teeth.

~o~O~o~

I LOVE comments. please feel free to drop yours on the story. I want your comments, questions, and suggestions!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 20.

Everyone looked around in stunned silence. I caught a glimpse of Amy and May looking back and forth at each other, lost in how to act and what to do with their ‘boss’ having been escorted away. Luna looked up, caught my gaze, and quickly turned away. I would have to find a way to get her alone and talk to her.

With the disruption to the class, Mr. Hedges gave up teaching his lesson. The rest of the class was spent with gossip and chatter. I went in for second period and ran into DeShaun. I told him what had happened. He agreed with me that whatever had been on the drive had to have been so damning that the police and district attorney had taken no time in bringing Marcia in.

We sat in silence at lunch, pondering events. The school day came to an end, and we headed our opposite directions. Me to my ride from mom, and him to practice. There was an away game on the schedule for tomorrow, and the coach was going to go over the game plan and do a walk-through on what to expect.

I looked at Mom, as she drove, and I asked the question that had been on my mind. “Mom, what was in that notebook and on that flash drive? I mean the police arrested Marcia in first period today. If Dad had dropped it off this morning, it must have been pretty bad for them to act that quickly.”

Mom sighed. “I don’t know if I should tell you”, she said. “I mean that way if you are asked in court about what’s on the drive, or in the notebook, you won’t have to lie.”

That worried me. It worried me a lot. We pulled into the garage, and I got out of the car and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed an apple and went upstairs to finish the last bits of homework that I hadn’t gotten to in study hall. When I was finished, I got up and changed out of my sweats. It was hot, and I was broiling. Putting on a pair of shorts and a tee, I headed downstairs, as I munched on that delicious honeycrisp.

I walked over to Mom’s office, and knocked. “Dad going to be home late tonight?”, I asked.
Mom didn’t answer, instead she looked at me long and hard.

“Come with me, it’s time for another girl lesson”, she stated flatly. I tilted my head, questioningly.

Mom led me upstairs. She told me to wait for a moment outside the door to mom and dad’s room. When she opened it up, she had changed from her jeans into her bikini. Lading me into the master bath, she ordered me to sit on the edge of the tub. Perplexed, I did so.

She looked at me and smiled. “And here your father thought he’d be the one to teach you about shaving.”, she smirked.
I looked at her, then when she looked at my legs, I understood what she was talking about. I looked down at my legs, and sure enough, they were covered in fine, dark hairs.

Sitting down beside me, she grabbed some shaving lotion from beside the tub, and demonstrated how to apply it to my legs. I watched as she ran the razor along those long legs. Legs that if not on my mother would certainly be considered sexy, by me. I took note of how she shaved in smooth strokes and took care when she got to the areas near the ankle, tendons, and… eek!… bikini line.

“I think I’ll let you learn about shaving your pubic hair on your own, I don’t want you to be too uncomfortable.”, she said as she teased me. “Now let’s see if you got it.”

She handed me the shaving lotion, and moved aside, going to sit over on the toilet. She watched as I awkwardly applied the cool lotion to my legs, and gently shaved my way through it. On a couple occasions, she stopped me, to tell me specifics on a difficult area, or to give me advice.

I got to the thighs, and carefully, hiked the legs of my shorts and boxers up, so I could get the bikini line. She nodded as I did that area, not needing much in the way of guidance.

When I was done, I ran my hands down my legs. They were so soft and smooth, not like how they used to be when I was a boy.

Mom looked at my legs, and gave an approving nod. “Next time, I’ll teach you about waxing. In the mean time, shirt off!”, she exclaimed. I looked at her confused, and did as she said. “Good, now lift your arms up!’

Ah. I get it now. “Ok”, she said. “You don’t need to shave your pits just yet. But when you do start noticing hair, you’ll want to start. Armpits are fairly easy, when compared to legs. But if you need help, let me know. After school tomorrow, we’ll head to the store and pick you up some supplies.”

I walked over and hugged her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I walked to my room, and I grabbed my towel and bath supplies. Might as well wash off the remaining little bloops of lotion. I entered the bathroom, and undressed. Without thinking, I looked at myself in the full-length mirror on the door, then began to turn and look at different angles. There was no doubt I was mostly girl. All but that empty sac and small stubby remnant of my penis. Taking a moment, I tucked them between my legs, and turned and looked in the mirror again. With it hidden, I looked completely like a girl. And admittedly a cute one, at that.

While I had no boobs to speak of, my hips were wide, and waist thin. My butt was rather round and plump. Not like those ditsy sisters on that one show, where they are famous for being famous, but for my age and size, not far off that track. If only my boobs would start to grow. Wait.. what? Did I just think that?

I lowered my head and slumped to the floor of the shower, letting the water cascade over me, hiding the tears that mixed themselves in.

After a while, I heard a knocking on the door. I got up and turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my head, and taking another one, I wrapped it around my upper body, letting it cover my chest and torso. I opened the door, and bumped right into DeShaun. I fell down, and nearly had a towel-related mishap.
Scrambling to my feet, I checked my modesty shield, and found the towel to be intact. I hurried to my room, and shut the door. I lay on the bed, dripping wet. A while later, I head the knocking on the door.

“Is it safe to come in?”, DeShaun asked from the other side of the door.

I hurriedly toweled off, and got dressed. “Come in”, I said.

Deshaun entered and sat down at my desk. “Sorry for interrupting your shower. I didn’t know you were in there.”, he said, embarrassed.

I brushed it off, but noticed he was looking at my legs. “Like what you see?” I asked, in a cheeky manner.

“Very much so”, he said as he continued to look. I admit, I blushed at that.

He had showered and was looking very attractive, I must say. I looked him up and down. Yummy.

“So, what’s up?”, I asked.

“All this stuff about Marcia, I’m sorry you got dragged into it. And I’m sorry for how my parents treated you.”, he said with his eyes cast down at the floor. I got up and walked over, placing my finger under his chin. I raised his head up with it, and looked him in the eye.

“Tell me about it”, I said. I sat down on the bed again, and patted the spot beside me. “The door is open, so don’t worry about appearances.”

He walked over and sat next to me and sighed, then he began telling his story. “It goes way back with my family. Back to the plantations, I guess. Though Dad uses that as an excuse to rationalize every thing he thinks is unfair. But the worst part of it all was when Grandpa was shot during a protest back when he was young. He blames the white officers, but the rioting and vandalism was more the true cause. But ever since, he feels that white people are only trying to ‘keep the brothers down’, as he puts it.”

I reached over and petted his hand, and he took mine in his.

He continued on. “When he was drafted by Dallas, he thought it was the opportunity of the lifetime, to be an NFL superstar. Then he blew out his knee in preseason, and had to have an operation. The doctor was white, and Dad blamed him for the fact he never regained his original mobility, and had to take an injury settlement from the team and retire. The coach was white, the owner was white. Dad didn’t see that he no longer had the ability to perform at the needed level, he just thought it was a conspiracy to replace him with a white guy. He tried to sue the doctor, but the judge, jury, and defense attorney were all white people. So he’s convinced that they colluded to throw the case out.”

I leaned against him and sighed. It was so unfair. DeShaun was in this spot because his father refused to admit that life was just unfair, not that there was some illuminati-level conspiracy to keep him down.
I snuggled against him, and we sat for a while in silence.

After a little while, I heard Dad come home. DeShaun and I sat up and looked at each other and then we went downstairs one at a time. Better to allay suspicions that way. I sauntered down in front of him, fully aware he was watching my ass. I have to get used to it, I guess… having a desirable booty, I mean. I giggled at that thought.

We both sat down on the couch, in the living room. I gave him a rather tame foot massage. I knew his feet often hurt after practice. That’s when Dad came into the room, Mom trailing behind a little ways behind. He had a serious look on his face. I immediately stopped what I was doing and I looked at Dad, then over to mom, and back to Dad.

“What’s up?”, I asked him.

He got that grim look on his face that he got when he had to deliver bad news. Sure enough, he began. “Deshaun, I spoke to a friend at the department of records. We tracked your sister down, and I spoke to her. Your brother-in-law and her agreed to let you move in. Furthermore, as a condition for dropping the trespassing and assault charges for his actions the other day, your father has agreed to not contest the order removing you from their custody. Your Mother also agreed to this stipulation.”

I smiled. “You hear that? That’s wonderful!”, I said in excitement, but then I looked at Dad. His expression worried me.

Dad spoke again. “There is a problem though. You can finish out the football season and the school semester here, but then after that, you’ll be transferred to their custody.”

DeShaun looked at him. “Sir, what’s the problem?”

Dad looked at both of us, and sighed. “DeShaun, your sister lives in Chicago now.”

~o~O~o~
As always, I adore comments and suggestions. Drop your critiques and opinions below!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 21.

Chicago. I lay in bed thinking about it. The end of the semester and the day that DeShaun leaves would come at the end of November. There were too many things swirling about, making me uncertain. I was going through my changes, there was the football season, the potential of a trial, the problems with Janie. I love him, but I can’t bare to lose him now.

I tossed and turned and tried, but sleep eluded me. I got up at about 6:00, and after washing up, I went downstairs. Dad was on the phone, and looked concerned. He looked at me, and walked away, and into the kitchen. I looked over at Mom, she gave me the ‘I don’t know anything’ look, and then likewise headed for the kitchen. Dad was still on the phone when DeShaun came down 20 minutes later.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Dad got off the phone, and motioned for DeShaun and I to sit.

“I have some news about Marcia Hayes. It is shocking and you might not want to hear it. Apparently she signed a full confession to all charges, and after being returned to her cell, she bit her tongue off and bit through her wrists.”, dad said in a somber tone.

Deshaun gasped and I put my head on his shoulder, and wrapped him in a hug.

Dad looked at us, and spoke again. “The guards got to her in time, and she was rushed into surgery. She is expected to survive, and so is her baby.”

Baby? I got a sudden feeling of dread. “DeShaun, tell me the truth. Did you and Marcia ever have sex? Could it be yours?” I looked at him, but he avoided my gaze, looking at the floor.

“It’s possi-”, he began, before my slap stopped him. I ran to Mom, and buried my face against her.

“Casey! It was a mistake! I hadn’t met you yet. I was mad at my Dad, and I wanted to get back at him, so one night I ran into her, and we headed off to the woods, and we-”

I turned and spat out at him all my anger. “You were with her, then you were with me. And you took myself away from me, and all this time I thought we were each other’s first, and that you cared for me!”

He opened his mouth to speak, but Dad put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. “Give her time, DeShaun, she won’t hear you right now.”, he said.

Mom held me, even as she called the school, and said I wouldn’t be in today. After a quiet breakfast of cheerios, Dad took DeShaun to school.
After the men left. Did I really just think that? Mom and I sat on the couch. She stroked my hair and tried her best to make me feel better.

“I don’t have any clients today”, she said. “How about we have another girl’s day?”

I nodded. Thanks to that bastard, and thanks to my own inaction, that’s what I was. My shriveled scrotum and tiny dick were signs of that. “Okay, but no limits this time. If this is who I am, I better get used to it.”, I exclaimed in anger.

Mom looked at me uncertainly, but she nodded. We arrived at the mall, as most of the shops were opening. I knew that I still had some growing.. (or is it shrinking?) yet to do, so a lot of clothing options were out, no panties or pants, but I could claim my girl-ness in other ways.

A trip to the nail salon was first. A matronly older woman waited on me. She looked at my nails and buffed them. They were short, since I had kept trimming them as a boy would, but she applied some dark red to them that made them pop. At the same time, another woman buffed my toenails and applied the same color to them.

Next was a consultation a consultation with a beautician, she advised me about make-up and complimentary colors for my hair and skin-tone. She showed me how to apply them, and then removed them and had me try. I did just as she had, and looking in the mirror, I was stunned. The smokey black eye shadow set off my chocolate-colored eyes , and the dark ruby red lipstick gave me gorgeous pouty lips. Accented by some light ruby blush completed the look. I… I was hot. Up until now people had told me that I was hot, and that easily I was one of the prettiest girls in the school. But I hadn’t believed it. Staring the fact straight in the face (pun intended!), I knew it was true. My curvy hips, narrow waist, that little booty of mine, combined with my shapely legs… I had it going on.

Hitting the Gap, American Eagle, and some of the specialty stores, we found some nice dresses that would still fit me when I was done changing. The shoe store was a challenge, because Mom insisted that if I were determined to be a real girl, I would need heels. I looked at several pairs of ankle-breakers, and picked a few pairs of strappy sandals with low heels, and then mom sprung some higher heels on me. My foot size wasn’t likely to change much more, having reduced down to a women’s size 6.

After trying on the heels, I wobbled around, with her arm to steady myself. They were black and had a pointed toe, and ankle strap, with a 3” heel. I got them, and resolved to practice in them daily, especially since I was on the fast train to shortness. Got a new pair of canvas sneakers, these were my new size, and didn’t need several pairs of socks to not be loose.

Picking up the bags, we wandered to the food court. Mom gave me money to get our lunches, and she took our bags out to the car.

When she got back, I was sitting and munching on my sub sandwich. I went for the cold cut, and I knew Mom favored the tuna. I sipped my Dr. Pepper and demurely wiped some mayonnaise from my cheek. (Hey, I had practiced this girl thing some).

I gathered my hair up behind my left ear, and used a bobbie pin Mom gave me to hold it there.
After lunch we hit Target and picked up some more shades of make-up, the shaving supplies that I needed, and though I didn’t need them just yet, some ‘monthly supplies’.
Taking a break from the girl stuff, I ran over to the video games section and poked around. Nothing really appealed to me, and when I went back to Mom, she was looking at bras.

He help up a particularly lacy pink one. “Isn’t this cute?”, she said with a giggle.

I did have to admit it was. “But Mom! I don’t need it.”, I protested. To demonstrate, I bunched up the baggy tee I was wearing behind my back, to clearly show her that I was still, for all intents and purposes, flat as a board.

She bit her lip and came over and hugged me. “Maybe some day”, she said. I had to admit that genetics probably had some surprise for me. Mom was a D cup, and Aunt Lucy, Grandma, and all my cousins on her side of the family were fairly well endowed. For that matter, Dad’s mother wasn’t exactly small either.

After pulling her out of the bra department, Mom led me to the movies section. I gravitated towards some action flicks, but she shook her head and picked up what I would have dismissed in the past as “chick flicks”.

When we got home, Mom grabbed some fruit and lemonade, and we sat down and watched the first movie. I really got into it. The plot revolved around a young girl, just finished with her change, and her struggles with adapting to her new gender, insecurity about her sexuality, and struggles to find her place in society. Gee Mom, real subtle with this choice.

The next movie was somewhat better. It was set in the 1800’s and was about a family of sisters that were trying to keep the family farm afloat after the death of their parents. The effects and make-up were particularly well done, between the CGI and the make-up, you couldn’t tell that the youngest sisters were played by boys. After the movie, I kind of zoned out. I was thinking about what it must have been like back then, being born female and growing up that way.

After the movies, I plotted some revenge against DeShaun. I went upstairs and put on some cute ankle socks with lace around the ankle, a pair of casual sandal black with a slight heel. The main source of revenge though? A cute black dress with white lace around the neckline and straps. It hugged my upper body, before draping down my hips and butt, accentuating them. It ended at the knee, allowing juuust enough of a view of my legs. I replaced the bobbie pin with a cute barrette, and took out the studs in my ears and put in some small hoops.

I went downstairs to wait, since he wouldn’t be home for a while. The game was at 5, and he should be back around 8.

Sitting on the couch, I turned on the tv and killed some time. After a while, the doorbell rang. I got up and went over and opened it up, and looked into the face of my precious angel.

Janie stood there, and looked at me. It was a complete role reversal, I was dressed femininely and looked good. She was the one hiding in the hoodie and baggy sweats. I ushered her in, and sat down beside her on the couch.

“When did you get out of the hospital?” I asked, concerned. She looked up at me, or at least I think she did. The hoodie she had on was so large that it almost fit like a cowl, obscuring her face.

“They let me out this morning. Mom only let me come over if she drove me.”, she stated meekly. I looked at her and put my arm around her, only to have her flinch and move away.

Janie sighed and moved back closer. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little jumpy. I don’t remember the attack at all, I was ambushed from behind.”

I leaned closer and took her hand, stroking the back with my thumb as I held it. “You are safe now, that bitch is locked up, and will never hurt us again.”, I said through gritted teeth.

“Us?”, Janie said with some confusion. I looked at her sitting there. I still couldn’t see her face.

“That bitch Marcia, she slept with DeShaun, and she might be having his baby.”, I said with obvious venom in each and every word.

Janie turned her head, and reached up, pulling the hood off. She looked at me. There were stitches along her hairline, and a big, purple bruise. Her eye was black, and puffy still, even after all these days.

She looked down at the floor, and mumbled something. I turned and faced her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said. Could you repeat it?”, I asked her.

She looked at me, looking me in the eye and swallowing hard. “I said that I know, I’ve known about that for a while.”, she said with her eyes still down cast.

I tried to get up, to move away, but my legs wouldn’t cooperate. I fell and landed on the floor. Everyone was betraying me.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 22.

I tossed and turned and didn’t get much sleep. I was a mess. My brain was betraying me. Neural nets reworking themselves, neurons making new connections. Estrogen altering my moods and attitudes. Face it me, you are a mess. When I did finally get to sleep, it was with tears in my eyes.

I got up and put on my new dress, fixed my hair and put on some make-up, at breakfast DeShaun alternated between staring at me, and looking at the floor when I looked back. I sighed and went back up to my room. I hid out there, and ignored DeShaun’s repeated knocks on the door.

The knocking stopped after a while, only to start up several hours later. “Go away DeShaun, I don’t want to see your face, or hear your voice!”, I stated loudly.

“What about mine?”, asked a familiar voice. I sighed and got up to let Janie in. She walked over to the desk and sat down in the chair. “She looked about the room, with its boyish clutter of car models, posters of professional local athletes.

“Still a very boyish room, I see”, she stated plainly.

“What do you want, Jane?”, I asked irritably. I emphasized the formal usage of her name.

“I came over to talk. Yes, DeShaun told me about sleeping with her. He was afraid you would find out. But Casey, it was before the rut, before you even knew each other existed. He regrets it, he hates himself for doing it.”, she said sadly.

I looked at her. She still had on an over-sized hoodie, trying to cover herself up and hide from view.

“He hurt me. He hurt me. I loved him. That cute dimple he gets when he smiles, his appreciation of classical music. Those pecs… How he could hold me and make me feel safe. The way he said that nobody else compared. All that, and he still fucked her.”, I sobbed, the tears flowing.

Janie put her arm around me, and rubbed my back. “I know it’s odd that I’m taking his side. If I were more like… her, I’d use this opportunity to claim you for my own. But I know he does love you, and I know he fell for her tricks. She is a master manipulator. She’s a sociopath, able to twist and manipulate people’s emotions and make them do her bidding. She found him at a low point, and seduced him with lies and plots of making his father mad.”

I sniffled and listened to her. She did have a point. She could manipulate people and wrap them around her finger. She had her enforcers and her little spy, after all.

I sat and thought about it. Her spy? I wasn’t so sure about that anymore. I had the beginnings of an idea. Hmm.

I looked over to Janie. “Do you know where Luna Day lives?”

She looked back at me, perplexed. “Luna Day? You mean that goth girl?”

I looked her in the face. “Yes, she has answers. Answers I need.”, I stated resolutely.

“I do, but I’m not telling you. I don’t want you going over there alone.”, she said.

“Come with me then.”, I urged. She shrank back, taking her hand off my back, she pulled her hoodie further over her face.

“I… I can’t.”, She whimpered.

Looking at her, I grabbed the hood and pulled it down, exposing her face. She pulled away and started to cry.

I moved towards her and wrapped her in as strong of a hug as I could and kissed her. She returned my kiss, but still pulled away.

“How… how can you still care for me? I’m ruined, everyone will see my wounds and everyone will know. And those that don’t will think I’m that poor girl that tried to kill myself. She ruined the rest of my life.”, she yelled between sobs. She stood up and unzipped the hoodie, yanking it off and throwing it at me. She stood there in a tank top, her arms exposed. There were stitches and sutures running the length of her forearms, from wrist to the underside of the elbow. Bisecting those were stitched slashes, perhaps 10-12 on each arm, also stitched and sutured. Her arms were a mess of bruises, stitches, and sewn-closed cuts.

I stood up and approached her. She backed up against my closet door. I simply and slowly reached out and took her hands in mine, and pulled her into a hug, then I kissed her cheek, and gave her a little nibble on the earlobe. “No matter what she did to you, you are my sexy angel. Nothing will change that.” I led her back over to the bed and we both sat down. I lifted up her right arm and carefully kissed it, down the full length of her cuts. I repeated that with her left, then I kissed each stitch on her forehead.

At the end, she stopped crying. She picked up the hoodie and put it back on, but she didn’t pull the hood over her head this time. “Let’s go see if your mother will drop us off!”, she said in a determined voice.

We pulled up in front of the house. It was a rather nondescript ranch style house. I noted it was rather small for this area of the Twin Cities. Mom let us out, making sure we both had our phones, in case of any trouble. I knew she would stick around and make sure we went in safely. I rang the doorbell, and a woman answered. She was shorter than either of us, and had the same dark hair as Luna. I was guessing this was her mother, as they both were on the petite side.

“Yes?”, she said nervously, as she looked at the two taller girls before her.

I smiled the friendliest smile I could, and asked if Luna was home. The door closed, and I heard her call for Luna. A few seconds later, the door opened, and the diminutive girl practically yanked us inside.

Leading us both to a small room at the back of the house, Luna opened the door and led us in. Her room was small, and excessively girly. Pictures of black cats and night scenes of scarecrows and bats covered the walls. The walls themselves were dark purple, and the curtains and bed coverings were black.

“What are you doing here?”, she asked timidly, keeping her voice down to a whisper. “Dad is asleep, and it’s not wise to wake him after he gets home from work.”

I could sense that she and her mother were afraid of her father. I spoke quietly, “We came because of what you led us to, I only saw the pictures of the abused and dead animals. My parents kept the rest from me, but I figured out that there was something bad in those things you directed me to.”

Luna sighed and directed us to sit down on the bed. She walked over to a corner of the room, and pulled up the corner of the carpet. She took out a switchblade, and popped it open, prying up the corner of a loose floorboard. From the space underneath, she produced a plastic bag.

“These are copies of what I sent you to get.”, she said as she sat down beside us. She turned on her computer, an older model desktop that had seen better days. Adjusting the volume, she clicked on a folder on the desktop. Janie and I sat in stunned silence, as we listened to Marcia talking about her plans to drug a boy named Adam. She went on to explain about how the drug would make him passive and susceptible to suggestion.

Luna paused the playback. “She monitored Adam, and when she saw he was entering the rut, she went through with her plan, drugging him.”, she stated. “Adam was a gifted football player, and she saw him as an obstacle for her plans for DeShaun. Adam, having been drugged, was convinced to submit to being changed. She got rid of Adam, and then while he was undergoing the change, she ‘befriended her’, and won her over to her side. That’s how Amy Wilder became her recruit.”

I gasped at the level of evilness, but Luna continued. “A few weeks later, when Amy’s brother Manny began his rut, she did the same thing, ensuring that both siblings would end up loyal to her.”

Janie and I both sat there dumbfounded. “Yes, now you see what sort of evil you were dealing with.”, she said sadly.

Janie spoke up. “If she was that bad, and you knew it… why did you end up with her?”

Luna sighed again. “As you can obviously see, I’m not very big. Even when I was Luke, I was resigned to the fact that I would end up a girl. So I gave up my male interests, and adopted the mindset of a girl. I started to grow my hair out, even before the rut. But there were downsides to that. Being small and feminine, I was a target for boys and girls alike.”

Luna stopped for a moment to compose herself, and we waited for her to continue. “I would get beaten up almost every day, until I met Mark. Everyone was scared of him, even the larger bullies. So I stayed with him for safety. And when I met Anthony, I accepted my fate and became Luna. But Marc was also transitioning at that time, and she didn’t want to lose me. She thought I was her willing advisor, but I was just in it for the protection. At the same time, I saw the cruelty and manipulation she used to get what she wanted, and if she couldn’t get something herself, her mother’s influence could.”

I looked at her and then I looked at Janie. Janie spoke up next. “How did you survive, seeing all that?”

Luna smiled. “When she got her mother to offer Anthony’s father a lucrative job out of state, I was pissed. I had been gathering information in secret, using hidden mics and recorders, just to have leverage on her. But that was the last straw. I stepped up my monitoring of her and her mother. It’s funny, but Marcia’s mother liked me, and called me ‘the second daughter she never had’, I had them fooled. But I knew that if the information I had got out, they would know it was me. Mom is too sickly to work, and Dad makes barely enough to pay the bills. I needed someone with better resources, in other words, I needed you.”

She turned and looked at Janie. “I’m sorry you got hurt. I was out of the loop on that. I thought she would go after Casey, and so I had him under observation. You weren’t on my radar, and I won’t forgive myself for that oversight.”

Janie gave the small girl a big bear hug. “It’s okay”, she said. “We are only human after all.”

Luna looked at me and then spoke again. “I know you are angry with DeShaun right now, and I know you are hurting. But it’s not his fault, at least not entirely. She is a cold manipulative bitch. I saw the obsession she has with him. I mean, I get it. He’s hot.” She paused and blushed.

I giggled. “That he is.”, I said laughing.

She cleared her throat and continued. “You need to understand. Marcia has been twisted so badly by her mother and her family expectations, that she will do or say anything, she will lie, cheat, steal, manipulate. It’s been drilled into her head since she was a little boy that she actually has been a girl this whole time. That was the start of her mental issues. Her mother essentially created a severe case of gender dysphoria, causing Marc to disassociate with his gender, and to even hate being male. He used to take his anger out on animals and there are rumors of small children in the neighborhood ending up with mysterious injuries. Furthermore, I think he developed schizophrenia, and possibly even multiple personality disorder. And in that mass of insanity he developed an obsession with DeShaun, and manipulated him into eventually sleeping with her.”

~o~O~o~

I adore comments, critiques, and suggestions. Or if you have a question, feel free to ask.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 23.

I sat and looked at Luna and Janie and smiled. I pulled out my phone and called Mom. “Mom, is it okay if I have a couple friends over tonight?”, I asked as I looked at them.

Mom agreed, and I sent Luna off to ask her mother if she could stay over. Janie likewise called her mother and got approval. When Luna came back, she was smiling. “My first ever sleep over party, What should I bring?”, she asked.

Janie and I helped raid her closet and her dresser and pack the appropriate items. She shooed us out and got changed. She came out in a pair of dark black canvas high-tops with purple accents, black socks, purple shorts and a black tank top. The gothic version of casual, I guess?

We went down the stairs quietly, and went outside. Mom pulled up a few minutes later, and introductions were made. Janie and I laughed as Luna looked up in awe at Mom. I was so used to her that I guess I forgot how imposing and beautiful she was. With Mom’s tight yoga pants and sports top, showing off her figure, the three of us girls were rightfully intimidated.

We arrived back at the house, and I showed Luna upstairs, she left her things in my room, and we all headed downstairs. DeShaun was sitting on the couch, watching college football. I glowered at him and we went out to the back yard.

Luna looked at me and asked me a question. “What was with the look to McAllister?”

I looked at her and replied in an icy tone. “I’m sure you know that Marcia slept with him. Well, she’s pregnant. It could be his.”

She nodded in understanding. “Still, I wouldn’t be too mad at him. She is a master at manipulation. She probably caught him at some point where he was vulnerable, and used it to twist him around her finger. Though, out of everyone, it’s that baby that I worry about. If he is or if he isn’t the father, that baby can’t stay in that family. I’m sure that when he is born, Marcia’s mother will petition for guardianship.”

I looked at Luna. This tiny little slip of a girl was smart, I hadn’t even thought of that.

“I… I’ll be right back.”, I said as I got up from the recliner I had settled into.

With an urgency, I went back inside and sat down beside DeShaun. “We need to talk”, I said to him in a serious tone.

He looked at me, and turned off the TV. “I’m listening.”, he said.

“Luna said something to me just now that I think you need to think long and hard about.”, I stated. “If this baby is yours, you need to step up, and step up big. Because your son can not be raised by that girls’ mother. She twisted and broke Marcia. I’m not excusing Marcia, I still hate her guts, and she needs to be kept in a dark room forever. But imagine your son with that family. Any chance he would have to grow up normally, and have the choice would be gone. She would warp him as thoroughly as she did her own child. Just think about it.”, I said as I stormed out.

I looked back and saw DeShaun lower his head, cradling it in his hands. I arrived back outside, Luna was swinging gleefully on the back porch swing, looking like what a little girl must have looked like back in the day. I laughed at that. Janie had laid out on a chaise lounge, tanning. I noticed though that she had a long sleeve t-shirt on though still. I sighed.

Heading over to Janie, I laid down beside her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You don’t have to be self-conscious around us. You can take off the tee and we won’t stare, we won’t gawk. We know it’s not your fault. We know the bitch did it.”, I said. I looked back towards Luna, who had slowed down her swinging.

She came over and sat down in the lounge beside us. “Yes. It wasn’t your fault. And If I had known she was going to go after you, I would have intervened. So it’s kind of my fault.”, she said.

Janie sat up and took off her shirt, exposing her bikini top. She reached over and hugged Luna. “Don’t say it was your fault. We owe you so much.”, she said with tears forming in her eyes. After I joined the hug, we sat there for a bit, then I got out the sun screen, and applied some to Janie’s back. Luna scrambled back to the shade. I motioned her to come back, but she giggled and got back on the swing.

Still laughing, Luna explained. “How would anyone take me seriously as the creepy goth girl if I got a tan? No, I have to remain pale and spooky!”

We all got a good laugh out of that. Mom came out to join us. I noticed the looks of complete awe on Janie and Luna’s faces as Mom stood there with a plate of fruit and iced tea, wearing her black bikini. Inner me growled at that, as Mom once again unintentionally upstaged me. Once again, I subconsciously wished my boobs would hurry up and start growing. Janie was a solid B cup, and even little Luna was at least an A, by my judgment. I caught myself thinking about this, and realized that I was. I fought off the tears and sniffles. My dwindling masculine identity inwardly frowned and took the punch from my growing feminine side.

Dad came out in shorts and an awful Hawaiian shirts, and fired up the barbecue. It wouldn’t be much longer that we could grill out. It was late September, and that meant that Autumn was on its way.
He strong-armed DeShaun into coming out and learning the ‘secrets of manly grilling’, I overheard this and sighed. I knew Dad didn’t mean anything by it, but I know he had hoped to pass the tongs down to me some day.

Mom walked over to Luna and asked her if she ate meat, and if there were any food allergies they needed to be aware of. I laughed internally as Luna sat there flustered, looking up at Mom with a sense of awe.

When the grilling was finished, the four of us teens sat around the patio table, while Mom and Dad shared a chaise lounge.

I passed the corn to Luna, and thanked her once again for everything she had done for us.

“It was nothing, really. After I saw how she manipulates people, and then after she made Anthony leave, I knew I needed to fix things. But Mom is like I am, small and not very threatening. And Dad… well, he’s too busy just trying to keep a roof over our heads. We lacked the money and the resources to do anything. I don’t mean to sound like her, but When you became involved Casey, I saw the opportunity. Your Mom and Dad are well-connected, you certainly don’t have the issues I have financially, and you are likable. I’m the tiny girl that dresses dark and creepy to keep people at arms length.”, she stated plainly.

I looked her in the eye. “From now on, you are my friend, and you are more than welcome to hang out with me. I think I speak for Janie and DeShaun when I say that they feel the same way.”, I said, as I looked to the other two to back me up.

“Definitely!”, Janie added.

“For sure!”, DeShaun said, taking a break from stuffing his face. I looked over at him, drooped my head, and sighed audibly.

Janie noticed and giggled. After we finished the burgers and corn and baked potatoes, we all sat and sipped at our root beer floats. I noticed a tear slowly rolling down Luna’s cheek.

“You okay Luna?”, I asked.

“I’m sorry. It’s… it’s just that this is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”, she said with a slightly sad look on her face.

Everyone gathered around her and gave her a hug, my parents included. I did notice she got an inadvertent squish into mom’s cleavage, which left her blushing quite noticeably.

After the floats, and the clean-up, DeShaun and Dad got out a football and played some catch.
Mom soon joined in, and between her and DeShaun a rather spirited game of keep away developed. Mom showed that even at her age, she was still a world-class athlete, intercepting many of the passes intended for DeShaun.

While they played, Luna, Janie, and I sat off to the side, watching and talking.

“Do you think there will be anything to worry about from Amy and May?”, I asked Luna.

She looked up, and took a sip from her leftover root beer. “I don’t think so, they are still in shock about the fact that Marcia manipulated them, and drugged them. They were not happy that they became girls. And That revelation really hit them hard. We don’t have to worry about them still being on her side, but I don’t know what they will do now. They have the sort of personalities where they can’t stand being seen as weak.”

Janie frowned, understanding. “And if they know that we know about the drugging, they might retaliate, in order to be seen as tough still.”

I nodded. “It pains me to say this, But Luna… we need to keep up appearances at school. You stay close to them, and act coldly towards us all. I don’t like it, because you are such a nice person.”, I said with a sigh.

Luna nodded. “I get it, really. If I’m suddenly seen hanging out with you guys, they will know for sure that I was the one that leaked the info. Plus, if I stay close to them, I can keep an eye on their activities.”, she stated, using that logical thought process of hers.

She was indeed a smart girl, I had realized that when I had learned about her surveillance. The famous quote came instantly to my mind. ‘It’s always the quiet ones you need to be aware of.’ I was glad she was on our side.

I sat and ruminated on things. I hated that I had to think about stuff like this, and that I couldn’t be myself. But I was a girl now, and I was learning that in high school, the girls are the most dangerous of all.
The boys can beat you up, but the girls were more devious. Now that I was one, I had to learn the rules of being a girl. I knew through the school’s gossip mill that I was considered near the top of the freshman class, as far as looks. Granted, that was a pretty small group, compared even to the sophomores, and nowhere near as large as the juniors or seniors. I stood out too much for stealth, and Janie had her own issues. People knew about her wounds, though not all knew that Marcia did it. Luna would be our ace in the hole.

As the sun started to creep towards the horizon, and sunset was approaching, we went in. I ducked into the bathroom and changed, donning my boxers and a tank top. I went into my bedroom, Janie and Luna had unrolled their sleeping bags and likewise were in sleepwear. Janie had on some short flannel pajama bottoms, and a big flannel top, both in red plaid. Luna was in a velvety pair of pajama pants with lace around the bottoms, and a matching top, with short sleeves and more lace at the collar and sleeves. Like seemingly everything else of hers, it was shades of dark purple and black.

We dug through my movie collection, and grabbed some of my newer chick flicks, and started to watch.

~o~O~o~

Comments? Questions? Critiques? please let me see them, I love to hear what you think.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 24.

Luna sat on top of her sleeping bag, looking at each of us. “I’m so happy! I’ve never had an actual sleep over before. What do people do at these things?”, she queried.

I looked over at Janie and shrugged. “We used to do this on occasion when we were both boys, but that was when we were younger. Mostly it consisted of us staying up waaay too late, watching sci-fi and action movies, and playing with action figures and transformers.”, I said.

Jannie laughed. “I don’t think we can exactly do the old things. There must be something we could do, like painting nails and braiding hair and stuff?”, she said somewhat confused.

I looked at Luna, who shrugged. Janie walked over to my radio, and turned it on, keeping the volume down. She heard the opening movement of Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony, and frowned. “Don’t you listen to anything from people that are, you know…. Not dead?”, she inquired.

I frowned and got a little defensive. “I like classical music, so what?”, I said a little louder than I perhaps should have. “And so does DeShaun, by the way… um, though I liked it before I knew him.” I perhaps shouldn’t have said that last part.

Janie turned the station to the local pop station. There was a song playing by someone named Christopher Aguilera. Too sugary and pop for me.

We compromised and found an oldies station playing Some Motown, and music from the 70’s and 80’s.

Luna sat a bit away, and observed. I noticed that was her standard mode, to blend into the background and disappear. That she could pull it off in her goth dresses and outfits was even more amazing.

“So, how about some games?”, I asked. I saw Janie roll her eyes.

“Not video games. That’s too boyish.”, she said, annoyed. I didn’t know what was up with her tonight, she seemed particularly snarky and irritable. I knew she wasn’t on her period, since she hadn’t had her last one all that long ago.

“N..no, I mean like party games.”, I said defensively.

Luna perked up and smiled. “Ooh, how about ‘never ever have I ever’, that one is fun… or so I hear.”, she said.

Janie looked at her. “How do you play it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”, she asked.

Luna responded. “From what I’ve heard, it’s normally a drinking game. But we could change it up a little.”

With that, she stood up and went over to her pack, and pulled out a large bag of M&Ms. She quickly counted them, and then got out another. After she finished, we each had roughly 50 pieces of candy each in front of us.

“I’ll go first. I’ll ask a question, and if it’s something you’ve never done, you throw a candy into the center pile. Oh, we need a bowl or something.”, she said. I started to get up slowly. Having been on my feet all day, I was sore. My growing pains certainly didn’t help.

Janie must have seen that I was in discomfort, because she got up. “I’ll go get one, I know where they are.”

She quickly returned with a large bowl and placed it on the floor. We all three formed a triangle around it.

“Everyone ready?”, Luna asked. After Janie and I nodded our replies, we began.

“Okay, first one. Never ever have I ever… drank a beer.”, she said.

I watched, a little shocked, as Janie dropped a candy in the bowl.

“What?”, she said looking at me. “Uncle Luther gave me one once, when he and Dad took me up north to go fishing.

Luna looked at Janie. “Since you dropped a candy, you go next.”, she stated.

Janie grinned. “Never ever have I ever had lesbian sex.”, she said.

We both looked at Luna as she dropped a candy in the bowl.

She began to cry. “Once, when I interfered with her plans to hurt someone’s dog, Marcia took me down into her basement, and tied me up and began to… do things. I couldn’t stop her. She violated me, and I couldn’t do anything. And the worst part of all is that a part of me liked it. The not being in control, the domination. I… I….”

Luna broke into tears and Janie and I rushed over and both of us just held her, each of us giving her a kiss on the cheek. She sniffled a but, and then moaned silently.

“I… I need to use the bathroom really quick.”, she said, as we let her go. She got up and scampered to the restroom.

She came back a few minutes later, her tears finished. If anything, she was blushing a little.

I looked at her, and pondered that fact.

Janie spoke up. “How about we stop the game for now, at least and just talk some?”

Luna and I both heartily agreed.

Luna asked the first question. “How long have you two known each other?”

Janie jumped in right away to answer. “We have been friends since we were in what? Third Grade?”

I nodded. “Yeah, about that long. Though we weren’t as close as we are now. More like casual buddies that hung out and played sports and games and stuff. It wasn’t until school started this fall that we connected more.”

Janie picked it up from there. “When I came here, I was kind of depressed and sad. I had just finished my transition over the summer, and my old buds didn’t know how to relate to me. Plus my rut had been … problematic, so I kind of shied away from guys, but then I ran into Casey. We reconnected, and hit it off right away.”

Luna looked at us both. “Problematic?”, she asked.

Janie was rubbing her arms nervously, and looking down, and towards me. I tilted my head, and she nodded slightly.

Picking up on her signal, I explained. “Janie’s rut was actually a rape. She had been chased down by a bully we both knew, and he forced himself on her.”

Luna bit her lip, and this time she was the one hugging Janie. Janie smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

“Anyhow”, I continued. “I treated her like my friend, I didn’t shy away or act awkward. I was just there for her.”

Janie smiled, and looked at me, blushing. “And I appreciate it.”, she said.

Luna nodded. “And how long after that did you two have sex?”

We both looked at her stunned. She explained. “I’m a watcher. I pick up on things. I’ve seen the looks between you. The blushes, the hand-holding, the affection. It’s not hard to notice, if you are looking for it.”, she said in explanation.

We both sighed and nodded. I let Janie pick it up from here. “Well, whereas I was r… raped, Casey had it just as tough. DeShaun didn’t force himself on her, but at the same time, her shock and confusion and horniness left her unable to tell DeShaun that she didn’t want to be rutted. So because of that, We have this beautiful girl here in front of us. I was grateful to her, and I knew I loved her. So One day when I knew my parents were going to be gone, I called and asked her over. She was still more or less male, and we spent the entire afternoon exploring each other.”

She finished and leaned over and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. Luna fanned herself, having turned bright red. It showed against her pale complexion.

I smiled and maneuvered around behind Janie, wrapping her in a hug, from behind, my arms just underneath her breasts.

Janie leaned back against me. “So, what about you?”, she said as she nuzzled backwards against me.

Luna cleared her throat, and dipped her hand into the now-full bowl of M&Ms, taking out a handful.

“I met Anthony while I was dealing with Marc. He was a neighbor of his, and his dad worked for Marc’s mother. He stopped me one day as I was walking to her place and tried to warn me about him. I thanked him, and headed off to Marc’s house. Every time I went over to Marc’s, I ran into Anthony on the way. Eventually, I explained the situation to Anthony, about how Marc was protecting me. He was dubious about it, I guess, and he kept an eye on me. One day we ran into each other as I was once again on my way there. Marc hadn’t been expecting me, and wasn’t at home.”

Luna stopped and downed a couple candies before continuing. “Anthony waved me over, and invited me in. I was about to say no, and head back home, when I must have caught scent of him, and he of me. Because that was when he pulled me into the house and we began to make out passionately.”

Luna blushed and stopped for a second to compose herself. “I’ve told you before that I was resigned to the fact that I would eventually become a girl, so I let Anthony have his way with me. I figured that I would just be a conquest, and he’d forget about me, and I him. But after that, I made excuses to stop in to see him. We went out a few times, and I confessed some… embarrassing secrets to him. He didn’t judge me. He told me he loved me. I planned on giving my virginity to him when I finished up my transition, but Marc had seen us together, and had asked his mother to Send Anthony’s dad away. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time.”

Janie saw that Luna was getting rather down, so she did what I would have done, she distracted her.

“Secrets?”, she asked. “Ooh! tell us! Please?” She made these puppy dog eyes, and I would have confessed to just about anything, if they had been pointed at me.

Luna, it seems, was not immune. She mumbled. “Okay… but… it’s kind of embarrassing. I… I like to be submissive. I don’t mean how I was with Marcia. I like … I like… to be pampered and I...I want to.. . be told what to do.”

She cringed, afraid of how it might have seemed. Janie, however, smiled and spoke next. “Well Casey, it appears as though we have a new pet.”

Luna blinked, and stared at her, uncomprehending.

I looked over at her, and motioned for her to come over. In as sexy a voice as I could manage (which wasn’t very, since my voice was cracking due to my vocal chords changing), I whispered. “Come here, little Luna Kitty, so that we may pet you and play with you.”

She sheepishly blushed and then said “Meow”, and crawled over. We both sat behind her. Janie in my lap, and Luna resting her head in Janie’s lap. We both petted her and rubbed her back and ran her fingers through her hair. Luna sighed contentedly and drifted off to sleep.

Janie gently extricated herself from her entanglement, and we both put Luna in her sleeping bag. It wasn’t hard, not with how light it was. Then Janie got into her bag. I seized the opportunity and did the unexpected. I climbed into it with her, pressing against her back. I gently rubbed her breasts and kissed the back of her neck, waiting till she too was asleep. I lay there for a while, softly kissing that sexy neck, before I too ultimately drifted off. I thought about how lucky I was to have her. Then my thoughts drifted down the hall to DeShaun, and my uncertainty returned.

~o~O~o~

Comments, questions, thoughts? I LOVE hearing them.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 25.

Luna and Janie were sleeping still when I woke up. I glanced up at the clock, seeing the bright red digital numbers reading 6:00. I carefully extricated myself from my sleeping bag and walked off to the bathroom to change. When I got back, they were still asleep. I sighed and headed downstairs. DeShaun was sitting at the table by himself, eating some cheerios.

“Morning”, I said to him sleepily.

He nodded quietly and continued to eat. I sighed and went and got my own bowl.

Pouring from the box, I grabbed the milk and filled my bowl to the absolute limit of where the cereal would remain in the bowl. DeShaun chuckled quietly, as I poured sugar over my cereal. I was very picky about the sugar content of my cereal, it had to be ‘too much’, as my Mom put it.

As we sat eating in silence, I looked over, just in time to see him quickly glance away.

Sighing, I broke the silence. “DeShaun, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you. Intellectually, I understand. You didn’t know me. You didn’t know you would meet me, certainly not this soon. I also understand that she’s a manipulative monster, one that had her sights on you, and she tricked you. I realize this all intellectually. But please realize that my rational mind isn’t always in the driver’s seat right now. I have all these new hormones flooding my system, my brain is literally rewiring itself to be a girl. I get irrational and moody and sullen. I cried yesterday because of a stupid, sappy TV commercial. I apologize, and all I can do is ask your forgiveness and patience.”

DeShaun stood up and walked around, behind me and gave me a hug. “I’m sorry too. I know you are going through a lot. Your body is changing into something foreign to you. Your emotions are all messed up. I can understand and sympathize. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too. I do love you, with all my heart. And I’m kind of fond of Jane too… but don’t tell her that. But this baby situation has me scared.”, He said honestly.

As he hugged me from behind, I gently stroked the back of his hands for a moment. He let go and walked back to his chair and sat down.

“Sorry, didn’t want my cereal to get too soggy”, he said with a laugh. I smiled at him, then I took a napkin and wadded it up and aimed it at his head.

He stuck his tongue out at me as I missed him. “You know, you throw like a girl.”, he said.

I giggled and said, “Thanks for the compliment.” As I was digging into the delicious milky sugar sludge that was left a the bottom of the bowl.

After a while Janie and Luna came down, both wearing shorts and tee shirts. Luna’s were in her trademark colors, whereas Janie had on a baby blue tee and some brown khaki shorts. They both dug into the cereal.

DeShaun looked over at Janie. “Jane, we talked, and things are okay now. You don’t have to worry about us fighting anymore.”, he said.

I knew that DeShaun called her Jane to annoy her, that it was sort of a game between them, but I saw her obvious relief at his statement.

“Still, things are going to be hectic. While you three were upstairs, I talked to my sister. She’s going to fly out when she can clear some time in her schedule. She didn’t take the baby news well, but She and I are going to talk it out. I… I also spoke to your Dad, Casey. He’s agreed to be my lawyer, should the baby prove to be mine.”

I looked at him, and nodded solemnly. Luna looked around at all three of us, and sat there quietly.

DeShaun had noticed and he looked over at her. “I want to thank you Luna, for all you’ve done for us. I’m sorry that I didn’t help you back then, back when you needed it.”

She made a motion with hr hand, brushing it off. “It’s okay, really. You didn’t know me. I was just that quiet kid in the back corner of the classes. You didn’t know me at all, or anything about the bullies.”

“Still”, said DeShaun, “I should have been more observant.” He smiled at her.

I watched as her pale cheeks blushed bright pink. That’s my man, the lady-killer. I sighed. Then again, who was I to talk? I would have to talk to him in private later about Luna. I mean She was a friend right now, and I wasn’t romantically or sexually desiring her, but if Janie and I were going to help her with her secret, we should tell him, at least.

Mom and Dad came down a little while later, and we all say around as they ate. We discussed what we should do today. We discussed going shopping, but Luna reminded us that at school tomorrow we had to act normally around her, so she could scope out the twins and see if they still presented any sort of threat.

It was Mom that idly suggested “What about Mall of America?”

We all looked at each other and grinned. Dad and DeShaun looked at each other and grinned too “Girl-free football!”, Dad exclaimed as a joke, and was quickly reminded of Mom’s past as a Quarterback, when a throw pillow from the couch connected with the back of his head.

Although I would have been happy with staying and watching the Vikings game, the opportunity to go out and spend Dad’s money (and Mom’s too, I guess) was too great. We giggled and laughed, Mom, Janie, and I. I realized something was amiss, and I looked at Luna.

She was sniffling, and crying a little.

“Something wrong, sweetie?” Mom asked in that caring, wonderful way she had.

“I... I can’t afford anything. Mom doesn’t work, and Dad barely can pay the bills with his security job.”, she sniffled. “I make all my own dresses and outfits to save money.” I was impressed. I didn’t know that. I figured she got them all from some sort of goth store, they were all so cute and well-put together.

Mom scooped her up in a hug. Literally. As She stood up, the small girl was lifted off the floor. “Don’t worry about it. You have done so much for us all. Think of it as a reward, it’s on me!” She said, hugging the girl tight.

Luna sobbed, and then responded with a “C… can’t breathe...” Mom sheepishly put her down and we all laughed together.

We piled in the car, making sure the men were well situated with snacks and the remote. Traffic was rather light for a Sunday, and we had no difficulty picking a parking spot near the entrance. We walked in, and Luna looked down the escalator pathway, where we could see various stingrays and exotic fish from the aquarium in the basement.

“I’ve never been here before, it’s so HUGE!”, she excitedly exclaimed. We took a while as Luna took in the scope of how big the mall was. She looked to our right, at the huge Barnes and Noble. Then she gazed up at the walkways above, and finally into the amusement park in the middle of the mall.

Janie and I laughed as she bopped around like a kid in a candy store. Of course, the first place she wanted to go to was Hot Topic, but we managed to calm down the Kitty, and convince her that we would get there in time.

We stopped at Victoria’s secret, and I looked with a sad face, as Janie, Mom, and Luna went in. I shook my head, as that pesky male ego popped up again, only to be yelled down by the growing female desire for cute clothing. I was making progress, but I still wasn’t ready, as I still had growing and shrinking both to do. Admittedly, I felt a lot more female, now that my Urethra has closed up in my penis, and was fully opened to it’s female location. With the remnants of my scrotum still there, peeing was still a messy situation, and I had to carry handi-wipes in my bag… I refused to call it a purse, though dying male ego knew damn well it was.

Janie, Mom, and Luna came out cheering several minutes later. I smiled and joined them as we headed for the next store. The power-shopping hit Gap, American Eagle, and too many other stores to count.
When we finished each floor, we took a brief rest. Store after store was blitzed, no victims spared, and when Luna hit Hot Topic, she was ecstatic. While Janie watched over her, we snuck off, Mom and I. A quick trip to the Best Buy followed. Hurrying back, we ran into Luna and Janie giggling outside. Luna was curious, of course, and tried to peek at the mysterious bags we held, but to no avail.

We headed out to the car to put our purchases away. While Janie distracted Luna, Mom slipped the laptop box into her packages. Returning to the Mall, We decided it was time for dinner. We took a vote on where we wanted to go. I picked Hooters, and got a smack in the back of the head from Janie. Mom suggested Rain Forest Cafe, Luna and Janie both said Bubba Gump Shrimp. So sure enough, we ended up at the movie-inspired chain.

After dinner, Mom wanted to go to the amusement park and go on the rides. Luna, Janie, and I thought better of it, and let her do that, as we all just sat and enjoyed talking. Eventually Mom was finished, and it was getting late. We all returned to the car and piled in. We drove Luna home, and Janie and I helped carry her packages up to her room.

We hugged out goodbyes, and Janie dug out a small package that she had found time sneak off and buy.
Luna opened it, and looked at the collar. It was an over-sized pet collar-styled choker, complete with a name tag that was shaped like a cat head. The words Luna-Kitty were engraved on it. She cried and hugged us both.

After our goodbyes were said, we dropped Janie off at home and Mom and I went into the house, carrying our spoils of war. Dad and DeShaun looked at us and shook their heads.

In my own head, I thought ‘hmph, boys’, and then realized what I had just thought. Somewhere in the back of my head, Male ego and my femininity were strapping up boxing gloves, and waiting for the bell to ring. Exhausted, I headed upstairs.

After I crashed onto the bed, my phone rang. It was Luna, in tears. Apparently she had found the state-of-the-art laptop, and the smartphone that Mom and I had gotten her.

“I can’t accept these, It’s too much.. it’s way too much. I can’t I cant.”, she said. “Your Mom spent too much on the clothes and other things as is. I can’t accept this.”, she said sniffling.

“Luna, you saved us. If not for you, that psycho twat could have come after us again and again, and she might have succeeded in killing one or both of us. That’s not even mentioning DeShaun and the baby. With her on the loose, that baby would have no chance. But now she’s in an institution where she can be monitored and the baby will be born safely. You deserve every cent we spent, and more.”

Luna and I talked for a couple hours, then I ordered the Kitty to get some sleep. Tomorrow would be another day, and who knows what it’d bring?

~o~O~o~

Love your comments, love your questions, love your feedback.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 26.

Luna walked into class and I snuck a glance at the kitten. She was literally playing that theme up. She had on the collar, of course, but had several other new items that suggested it. A lacy headband with kitty ears and a long faux tail that peeked out from under the maid dress she had on certainly gave her that cat-girl look. I managed to resist going over and hugging her, but her cuteness was deadly.

I noticed that she was sitting in the spot previously occupied by Marcia, and when the twins came in, they took up positions on either side of her. Just like when they were Marcia’s bodyguards. The three of them started to whisper to each other, with occasional glances my way. All during the class the three whispered and glanced around. I noticed at the end of the class that Amy had walked over to another classmate, this one only just beginning the outward signs of her transition. She had stood there while looking around, and whispered something to her.

I sat in English class, pondering what was going on. I felt the buzzing feeling of my phone vibrating in the pocket of my jacket, and I slipped my hand in and fished it out. There was a message from the kitten.

>> MEW MEW. SMTHG UP W/TWINS. INFO LTR- KITTEH<<

Pondering the message, I went back to listening to the teacher drone on about punctuation. Class crept by slowly. Math seemed even longer, but lunch eventually came.

I sat down in my usual place, the war with Marcia had only claimed it for a brief moment with her power play. Now that she was gone, it was free once again. DeShaun slid up beside me on the left, and Janie joined us, sitting across from us. I showed them both the message from Luna. When I had explained to him about Janie and my arrangement with her, he had been less than thrilled about it, but I had explained that I didn’t love him any less, and he reluctantly accepted it.

Janie was the first to say something about the message. “I heard that the twins were talking to a new girl in one of their classes.”

I nodded. “I saw them do the same in the class I have with them.”, I stated.

We all sat around and pondered this new situation the rest of lunch. At the end of the lunch period, we saw Amy talking to another girl that was obviously at the beginning of her transition. May was standing nearby looking around , with a suspicious look on her face.

On the way out, I felt someone bump into me. I looked and saw Luna, she glared at me and walked off.

I put my hand into my jacket pocket and felt a piece of paper. I quickly took my hand out and walked on, arriving at my locker. Getting my books out, I headed for Biology. I sat down in my normal spot, and Janie came in a couple minutes later. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I returned the gesture.

I reached into my pocket and took out the small slip of paper. It simply said ‘will call you after school – Your Kitten’.

I took out my books, and as I did, I passed the paper to Janie. “Perhaps you should come over tonight”, I said.

She looked at it and frowned. “It seems so”, she exclaimed.

The rest of the school day went by like a blur, even Study Hall with Janie and Home Economics with DeShaun seemed to go quickly.

Mom picked the three of us up, Janie having agreed that we all needed to be there when Kitten called.

We were all sitting in my room when the phone rang. I greeted Luna, and told her that we were all there. She was silent for a moment, then asked me if I had skype.

A couple minutes later, we were gathered around my computer as she called us on it.

“First of all Casey, thank you Mom for the computer and phone and the plans for them. If not for her, I couldn’t call you like this.”, Luna said. She was lounging on her bed, laying on her stomach in the same cute dress with kitty accessories.

“I will!”, I said to her, trying not to coo over how cute she was.

“Secondly, about Amy and May. They are definitely up to something. They didn’t take the news about being drugged well, and certainly are not happy that that is the reason they are girls. They haven’t really talked to me about their plans, but they seem to be trying to build a base with newly-minted girls. That’s a very logical thing to do, I think because they are unsure of themselves, they have insecurities that are easy to prey on, and they are a rapidly growing group.”

Deshaun spoke up. “What purpose would gathering together all these new girls serve?”

Janie spoke up. “Well, it’s not exactly a new tactic. If you want to gather up a base, you target the young and the inexperienced. Cigarette companies do it by targeting kids with things like music giveaways, and so forth. Alcohol sellers make it look cool to drink. So if you want to build an audience, you start young.”

Luna nodded on screen, and spoke up. “Right now though I don’t have any idea what their endgame is. Gathering the support of new girls ensures them that as they get older these girls will support them as they go through school, even up into the Junior and senior classes. But for what, I have no idea.”

I looked at Luna, and blushed at the pure cuteness. “Well, I doubt they are trying to build a base for something like senior homecoming court, or something that far off in the distance. I think their goal has to have a quicker payout.”, I said.

“Student council?”, I asked.

Janie shook her head. “Freshmen only are eligible for lower offices. True, they could parlay that into presidency as seniors, but I don’t see these two as the sort that would play some sort of long game.”

I sighed. “Better the enemy you know.”, I said.

Luna nodded. “I need to sign off now.” She said. And then she added a final “Mew.”

The thee of us pondered what else could be going on. Marcia had gotten her position of Head Cheerleader largely through reputation and nepotism. Amy and May didn’t seem that interested in that position. Whatever these two were up to, it was beyond us. The fact that as sisters they could conspire at home, out of Luna’s earshot, was a major plus for them.

Janie stayed over for dinner, and then headed home, DeShaun accompanied her. She was feeling better, but she still hid her arms behind wraps and long sleeves. Her forehead was healing, but she would still always have that scar along her hairline.

I sat on the couch, lost in thought for a good while, and DeShaun came over and sat next to me. I sagged into him, and rested my head on his shoulder. I could hear Mom shuffling around in the kitchen, while Dad was off in his office.

Suddenly there was a ringing of the doorbell. Dad walked out of the office and answered it.

I heard someone exclaim “Where’s my baby brother?”, in an excited tone. DeShaun and I both perked up immediately and looked around. He turned and saw the woman standing there. She was tall, almost as tall as my Mom, possibly even taller. Her cocoa skin was beautiful, and in her shorts and tank top, you could see she was athletic and fit.

DeShaun stood up and gawked at the woman. “Stevie?”, he asked, uncertainly.

The woman looked at him, and then hurried over and hugged him. “It’s Stephanie now, though I’m sure Mom and Dad never told you that part.”

He looked down at his feet and sighed. “No, after you um… changed, you were a forbidden topic.”, he said sadly.

Stephanie looked at me and looked me up and down. I sort of felt uneasy under her gaze, but then she rushed over and hugged me. “You must be the one I’ve heard so much about. Casey, right?”

I mumbled my “yes”, and she eventually let me go.

“Well little brother”, she said. “You sure stumbled into a pretty one here.”

I blushed and sat back down on the couch.
After the shock wore off, DeShaun finally got up the courage to ask the question. “What are you doing here Sis?”, He said uncertainly.

Dad spoke up next. “I invited your sister here to talk about things, with the added issues about the baby, we all need to talk about this.”

Stephanie stepped back and shot a glare at me. “Baby? You when and knocked this sweet girl up? Deshaun, you knucklehead. I thought I taught you better than that.”

I blushed and hurriedly spoke. “No, no… not me, I’m not even able to yet. It’s not me.”

Stephanie looked at her brother, an obvious look of disapproval forming. “Then what’s all this about a baby?”

Deshaun looked at the floor. “After you left, Dad got worse. Always blaming white people for everything wrong. It was unbearable. We had a fight, and There was this girl. Her name is Marcia. She’s really unstable, and has even hurt people. But at the time, I was stupid and angry and I was looking for a way to make Dad angry. I hadn’t met Casey yet, and I slept with Marcia, even though she’s a nutcase. Just to make Dad upset. Turns out though that the last laugh was on me.”

I sighed and continued the story. “You see, Marcia is severely mentally ill, she obsessed over DeShaun, and when I got too close to him, she retaliated by attacking a friend of mine with a knife, slashing her up badly. Thankfully Janie survived, but she’s going to have scars for the rest of her life.”

Stephanie nodded, then walked over to DeShaun, and smacked him on the back of the head. “Next time boy, think with the northern brain. So, is there any solid proof of this baby? Could she be making this up?”

Dad shook his head. “I’m afraid not. After we … obtained evidence of a whole series of her misdeeds, she had no other choice but to plead guilty. Unfortunately, she attempted to commit suicide, and the doctors confirmed at the same time that she’s about 2 ½ months along.”

Stephanie sighed and sat down and hugged her brother. “Take this as a lesson... never stick it into crazy”

DeShaun laughed at that, then sighed and hugged his sister. I moved over to a different chair and sat down. They needed this time to get reacquainted. I sat there and listened in as DeShaun talked all about me, and Janie and football, and all the things going on in his life. Then Stephanie brought out pictures of his nephews and DeShaun started to cry. It had been years, but the time seemed to float away, as they talked about what used to be, and what now was.

I smiled and went upstairs and got ready for bed. I stood in the bathroom, looking at the full length mirror. I looked even more girly than before, and my poor surrendering dick was just a floppy growth no bigger or thicker than my pinkie. I sighed, and looked at my flat chest. Why did everyone think I was so hot? I’m nothing, certainly not compared to Mom or Stephanie or even Janie or... Marcia.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 27.

I sat and listened as Stephanie and DeShaun caught up. I stayed for a little while, but soon I felt like I was intruding. I wandered upstairs and plunked myself down on the bed. I pulled out my books and read up on my current phase of transition. After a couple hours, I put it aside. I got up and got ready for bed. My night was full of erotic dreams. I was rutting James, then DeShaun would rut me, and then I would just James, and Deshaun would have sex with Janie, and then I would have sex with her.

I woke up in a cold sweat. Looking at the clock, it read 4:22 AM. I knew I wouldn’t get back to sleep, so I wandered downstairs to the kitchen. I wasn’t the only one there though, as DeShaun was sitting at the counter, poking around at a bowl of yogurt. I grabbed a bowl and spoon and dished myself out some. Looking through the fridge, I found some strawberries, and I washed them up. Adding them to my yogurt, along with some banana slices, I started in on them.

I looked at him. “Penny for your thoughts.”, I said.

DeShaun stirred his yogurt, not really looking at it. “I … I just. So much going on. The baby, Marcia, my parents, all this school politics stuff … and you. I’m just overwhelmed.”, He said.

I looked over at him, then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

“What was that for?”, He asked.

I smiled. “You looked like you needed it.”, I said. I swallowed hard. My voice was starting to stabilize, and my Adam’s apple was gone. It had been shrinking over the last couple weeks, but I couldn’t even feel it any more. My voice was a lot softer and feminine, with a slight lilt to it. I would almost say melodic.

I smiled at my boyfriend and kissed him again. “You’ll be okay. I know because you are strong, you are brave, and you are loyal. If that truly is your son, you will be the best parent he could ever wish for.”

We hugged, and then kissed for a while. Eventually we fell asleep on the couch in the living room. A couple hours went by, and we were woken up by my mom. We did our best to not look guilty. Mom laughed and we both went upstairs and got changed. I slipped out of my flannel jammies. Slipping on my boxers, I dug around in my closet and pulled out a cute black skirt, one that came down to mid-thigh. I paired it with a casual white blouse, and some white ankle socks. The finishing touch was a pair of black Mary Janes.

I came back down and When DeShaun saw me he was speechless. Good work, me!

DeShaun and I climbed in the car and Mom drove us over to the school. I could not wait for the change to stop playing with my body like play-doh. My muscles were still sore, but at least my bones were feeling better. I smiled. That probably meant that I had stopped shrinking, at least. Soon, I would be able to wear regular clothes. Hallelujah! No more loose and baggy.

I walked into History, Luna was there. She had a black hoodie with kitty ears on, and a lacy purple skirt that went down to mid calf. Another of her fake kitty tails hung out the bottom of her skirt. She looked my way briefly, then looked away. Amy and May walked in, looking like the cats that swallowed the canary. They sat down on either side of Luna, and then glanced at me and smirked.

I pretended to not notice, but I still wondered what was going on with these two. It seemed that they were keeping Luna out of the loop still.

Class droned on, and I felt the eyes focused on me. I looked up periodically, and whenever I did, I saw one of the sisters look away.

Their plans involved me? I refused to believe it, but the attention they had focused on me seemed to indicate that. Why me though? Why was I important?

Those thoughts echoed deeply in my mind, distracting me. I was thinking about them after class, and not watching where I was going. I bumped into someone and fell down. I stood up and turned to apologize to the person I had bumped into. When I looked up, a very familiar face looked down at me.

“Mom? What are you doing here?”, I asked somewhat shocked.

Sure enough Mom was standing there in track pants and her old football jersey. She had a school baseball cap on, with a ponytail sticking out from the back. There was a stopwatch and whistle around her neck.

“Coach Donahue injured her knee this morning. I got the call shortly after you were dropped off. So in the interim, I’m going to be substituting for her, and assisting with the Volleyball team.”, she said with a smile.

I laughed, because the school had been begging her for years to coach the volleyball program.

Mom looked around somewhat confused. “Um… How do I get to room 221? I’m supposed to be filling for her Study Hall, but I don’t know how to get there.”

“My next class is that direction, I can take you there.”, I said cheerfully. While I lead Mom down the corridors, I became acutely aware that we were being followed. I whispered to Mom about it. “Don’t look now, but the Wilder sisters are following us.”

Mom whispered back. “You mean those girls that Marcia Hayes drugged? Why would they be following you?”

I gave Mom a quick recap of this morning, and all the information Luna had (which wasn’t much). We arrived at the classroom, and I gestured to the door. “This is the place! Good luck, Mrs. Church.”, I said with a chuckle.

I turned to head to class, when I felt a shove. I hit the corridor wall, and dropped my books. “Sucking up to the teachers, Miss Priss?”, my assailant said. I knew that voice.

“Amy”, I said. “I was showing her to her classroom, she’s substituting for one of the teachers.”, I stated plainly. I thought it best not to mention that that had been my Mother I was escorting. “What do you have against me?, I inquired. “Marcia hurt us both. She tried to kill my best friend!”

I heard a contemptuous snort, and realized that May had arrived to join her sister. “Don’t think that we don’t know what you are doing. We know you seduced DeShaun McAllister, in order to become the queen bee of the 9th grade class.”

I laughed out loud. “You… You honestly think that?”, I said barely able to contain my laughter. “I didn’t want to change. I wanted to stay a boy. I’m a girl because of miscommunication, confusion, and the inability to say that I didn’t want it. I would think that you two would be more sympathetic. I know what happened to you two. Marcia said what she did in her confession!”

Amy looked at me uncertainly, but May just stood there with her fist clenched. She then let out a terrifying yell, and then punched me in the midsection. I keeled over and curled into a ball. I had only known such pain when I had been hit in the balls, and considering where she hit me, she probably nailed what used to be them.

I lay there crying, and I felt a couple kicks, one to the back, and one to the head. I don’t know if I blacked out, because the next thing I remember is looking up and seeing Mom towering over me as I lay in the nurse’s office.

Mom insisted on taking me to the hospital. I vehemently refused, but she did make me stay there, so the Nurse could observe me.

After school, Mom and I headed home together. DeShaun had practice, and his sister had arrived to watch. Apparently she had known Coach Grant from when she was a student. Arriving home, I went upstairs and got undressed, and put on my bathrobe. I walked to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. There was a nasty bruise on my back, and I could feel a lump on the back of my head. They had ruled out a concussion, but I was supposed to take it easy, just in case.

Janie came by a little later with my homework and my books. We had a little make-out session, and then studied together. When DeShaun came home, his sister was with him. She apparently was going to stay until after his next game, and then head home.

Janie stayed for dinner, as did Stephanie. As we sat around the table, Stephanie commented on how things had changed since she had been here last. She was almost 10 years older than DeShaun, and had left home to live with her (now) in-laws after her change. I laughed at that parallel, then choked once that hit me.

Dinner was going well, until Stephanie innocently commented to Janie. “You are a pretty girl, why are you hiding it behind your bangs and that big hoodie?”

Janie started to cry, and I protectively stood up and went over to hug her tight. I continued to do so while Dad explained. “Janie was the girl that was attacked by Marcia.”

I continued to hold Janie, as Stephanie came over. “I’m sorry. One of the problems of having big feet like mine is that I am always putting them in my mouth”, she said. Janie eased out of the hugs, slightly. She looked down, and laughed. I looked down as well, and I chuckled too. Despite being about my Mom’s height, Stephanie had MUCH bigger feet.

After dinner the adults and DeShaun headed to the living room to discuss important things, Dad had already committed to provide DeShaun legal assistance, should it become necessary after the baby was born. There were other logistical issues, like his transferring schools and so forth that would need to be addressed. Thankfully, his Mother and Father had pretty much washed their hands of him, and weren’t contesting is change of guardianship.

While all that was being discussed, Janie and I were upstairs, talking to Luna. I informed her of what had happened and what I could remember them having said. It seemed like there was a clear motive now, they were conspiring against me. I still maintained that I had no idea why.

It was Luna that brought it up once again. “It’s obvious, as the prettiest girl in the freshman class, you are a threat to them.”

I disagreed vehemently. “I am not pretty! I don’t know why everyone says I am. I mean, no offense Luna, even you have bigger boobs than I do!”

She laughed. “Mew, none taken.”, she said with a smirk. “But you have amazingly curvy hips, nice legs, an amazing butt. I’ve heard a couple of seniors even talking about how gorgeous you are. Face it. You have a cute face, those amazing chocolate-colored eyes, cute dimples. Add to that, your killer body, it’s almost unfair.”

I looked over to Janie, and she smiled and nodded. “It’s true, you are a 10. No doubt about it.”
I looked down at my flat as a board chest. I still didn’t believe it. No way.

Even after Janie went home for the evening, and Luna had logged off, I sat there just shaking my head. What was everyone seeing that I didn’t?

~o~O~o~

Love you all, Love you more when you comment, critique, question, or have a suggestion.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 28.

Deshaun walked me to class this morning, making sure I got there safely. I had arrived early, because Mom had to get in before school and get ready for her classes. While she did, I met with Officer Coleman and Mr. Lewis. Unfortunately there had bee no witnesses to the attack, and the hallway didn’t have a camera. They promised to look into the attack more, and to talk with the Wilder girls, but I knew that wouldn’t accomplish anything. If anything, it might make things worse.

I walked in and noticed that Luna was sitting off to the side of Amy. May was on the left, Amy in the middle, and Luna on the right. I walked in and sat down, getting glares from the three of them. Though Luna’s had a brief wink to it on the twins blind side.

I heard the sisters whispering and out of the corner of my eye, I could see them occasionally glance around at certain boys and the girl that was beginning their transition. Thinking about their plotting, I moved the pieces around in my head. They were trying to amass a group of newly female followers, and they wanted me out of the picture. They wanted popularity. I guess going from the potential of popularity in sports, they were looking for a new niche?

I’d have to bounce theories off the girls later on. When class ended, they shuffled past, noses in the air. Luna trailed along behind, giving the impression of being a follower. I saw her eyes roll my direction briefly, then she went back to staring ahead.

I hurried off to my next class, as DeShaun had arrived to bodyguard me. Mmm. He can guard me with that body up close. I shook off that thought and went in to class. For every class, he showed up and escorted me to it. Lunch soon came, and He sat with Janie and I.

“Any news on what thing one and thing two are up to?”, Janie asked while munching on some potato chips.

I shook my head. “Nope, but I think it’s all just a popularity grab. They see me as the ‘it girl’ for some odd reason, and want to build a power base. It’s all silly. I’m nothing special.”, I said as I poked at my leftover pasta salad.

Janie let out a snerk, and tried to keep from giggling.

“What?”, I asked.

“You are the cutest girl in the 9th grade, you have the hot football star boyfriend, and the not-unattractive best friend.”, she said in a joking tone. “Half the girls in the school probably want to be in your shoes.”
I frowned and punched DeShaun in the shoulder.

“What?”, he exclaimed, confused.

“That’s for not being a chess nerd”, I said in a semi-joking manner.

“Would it be better if I were a nerd? If I had been, someone else might have gotten to you first.”, he said, in defense of his case.

“Mmm... true.”, I admitted. “Still, your popularity does cause me all the troubles.”

Deshaun looked at me, and rolled his eyes. Then he did something totally unexpected. He stood up. “Attention! Attention everybody! I know that there are those of you that think I’m cool. I’m really not. I’m a colossal dork. One who listens to classical music, cries at the end of Field of Dreams, and has no idea who the Kardashians are, or why they are famous!”

He sat down amidst the laughing and jeering. “Satisfied?”, he asked with a chuckle. I slugged him in the arm again.

“Dork”, Janie and I said almost simultaneously.

“Mhm, but would you two lovely ladies love to escort this dork to the homecoming dance?”, he asked.

Janie squealed, but then she stopped and shrunk back. I hugged them both. “I would love to, if Janie agrees.”

Janie shrunk back hiding. “I… I don’t know. I’d have to get a dress, and people would stare, and they would look and they would see the scars. I… I can’t.”, she sobbed.

We spent the rest of lunch comforting her. After DeShaun walked us to Biology and then Study Hall, I spent the entire class holding her hand and rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb in a reassuring manner.

We sat in Home Ec together, and as we baked cookies, we talked about Janie. DeShaun was broken up over her confidence issues because of the scars. I gave him a peck on the cheek while we worked together.

Home Economics was bearable, because he was there, but his teammates still looked at me with sour expressions. After the loss last Friday, Coach Grant had laid into the team, especially the offense. Though they didn’t admit it, there was an unsaid rumor that DeShaun was being frozen out. He was being ignored while wide open, and when he did get the ball, players were suddenly ‘missing’ blocks.

Fortunately class ended quickly enough. He and I stopped down to see Mom, and to give her some of our cookies.

Mom told me that because the volleyball team had a game that day, She wouldn’t be able to drive me to the doctor for my check-up. Dad was in court today, as well. She did tell me that Janie’s mom would take me, because Janie was getting stitches removed.

After School I waited in a highly visible area, with Janie. She was still depressed, and I had my arm around her shoulders. Debra Bond pulled up in her blue Civic, and we got in. She asked how the day went.

Janie was rather non-committal, uttering a “Fine.”

I was in the back seat with her, and I still had may arm around her. “Mrs. Bond, Janie’s upset because we were asked to go to the Homecoming dance, but she’s afraid that people will stare at her. I keep telling her that she’s beautiful, and that if they stare, that’s their own fault.”

Mrs. Bond nodded as she kept her eyes on the road. “Janie dear, do you want to schedule an appointment with Dr. Shaw while we are at the hospital?”

Janie sighed and shook her head, then she elbowed me in the ribs… HARD. Fortunately, she didn’t hit anywhere I was already bruised.

I went up to see Dr. Foster alone, as Janie and her mother had their appointment elsewhere. I sat in the office, and smiled at Nurse Betty, as I pretended to flip through some of the ancient magazines that littered the waiting room.

Eventually, I was instructed to head in. Dr. Foster greeted me cordially, and instructed me to put on the paper gown. He headed outside, while Nurse Betty took some blood and checked my blood pressure and weight. I was 115 Lbs.

Dr. Foster came back in a little while later and took my measurement of my height.

“Well Casey, you’ve hit the 5’4” mark. Nurse Betty said you told her that your bones and joints no longer ache? That’s usually a sign that you’ve hit your stopping point for the rapid loss of height. Your muscles, tendons, and ligaments may still give you some sporadic pain, but it seems you are coming to the end of the reshaping portion of your change. From here on, it should be mostly internal. I notice that your voice has changed. I’ll be wanting to check over your throat as well. I’ll be right back, I need to speak to Nurse Betty for just a second.”, he said in a friendly manner.

I sat on the exam table, swinging my feet in the air. After a few minutes he returned.

“Okay Casey, time for your ultrasound and then, if you are willing, we should probably do your pre-gynecology exam. I shuddered, but nodded. I knew that as I got later into my transition, that would come up. The reproductive organs are almost always the last things to mature. I scooted around to lay flat on the exam table, and I closed my eyes, as the cold gel was applied. I turned my head and looked at the screen. There were gray, indistinct blobs on it, and I had no idea what I was looking at, but the Doctor assured me that everything appeared normal.

Nurse Betty came in, and assisted the doctor in raising these metal stirrups up from the end of the table. I was instructed to put my feet in them, and I closed my eyes as the doctor examined my nether regions.
The gloves were cold and felt odd as he examined the small skin flap that was all that remained of my scrotum. I imagine that he probably examined my penis or clitoris, or whatever it was now. It has shrunk considerably, and was about 3 inches long, and at most an inch thick. The head had disappeared, and it was just a thin, wiggly thing. At least for now it had no sensation, because I would have died of embarrassment if it were able to get aroused.
Dr. Foster finished his examination, and left the room for a moment, to allow me to regain my composure. I got dressed and sat on the table again. And after a few minutes there was a knock.

“Come in”, I said. There was so much irony in the fact that he had left for my modesty’s sake. He had just examined the remains of my dick, checked on my new pee-hole, and tested my shrunken sack.
It was so funny, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Dr. Foster entered and sat down in one of the chairs over by the computer. “Everything seems to be okay. Your ovaries and uterus are developing at the normal rate for someone in your stage of the transition. Your clitoris seems to be developing at the same rate as well. Everything seems to be routine.”, he stated.

I looked over at him. “If I may ask, how long do I have left? I mean… until… you know?”, I sheepishly said.

He looked at me questioningly. “If you are talking about your vagina, that will probably be a week or two yet, at this rate of transition, at least. You should see the alteration of your scrotum into the beginning of the labia sooner though, possibly as soon as Monday. Don’t worry about it, you are well within the normal range for your transition.”

I took a deep breath. “One more question, Dr. Foster. Is there anything we can do about how… flat I am? I look at my friends and the other girls in school, and I feel like something is wrong with me. My nipples are bigger and all, but I’m still as flat as I was as a boy.”, I said dejectedly.

The doctor looked at me and smiled. “Don’t worry about it. All women develop breasts at different rates. You might be the last in class to start growing them, but you may end up the biggest in your class by the time you reach 12th grade, or you may remain the same size as you are. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to conform to what others think.”

We stepped out of the exam room and went up front to the main desk. Nurse Betty smiled at me and we scheduled the next appointment. I sighed to myself. I didn’t think I was enough of a girl because I was as flat as a board, but everyone in school thought I was the hottest new girl around. Why can’t life be easy?

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 29.

I arrived at home, having been dropped off by Janie’s Mom. Janie was feeling a little better, having gotten the sutures out, but she still was depressed. I had offered for her to come over and stay for dinner, but she had sadly declined. That left me at home all alone. DeShaun was still at practice.
Mom had an away game with the volleyball team. Dad was in trial mode, and would be working late hours.

I puttered around the house, but there was nothing to do. I called Luna, but it went to voicemail. Sighing, I went up to my room and did what small amount of homework I had. I put on my lightest jacket and headed out. It was late September, and the weather was starting to cool down.

I still had some minor muscle aches, but the deep pain in my joints and bones were gone. It was time to get back to walking and stretching out this new body of mine. After hitting Subway for dinner, I decided to head down to the park trails. I spent a good half hour walking and getting limber. I was on my way back when I first heard the sound.

Someone was groaning. At first I thought that a couple boys had come out to rut, but after hearing it again, it was just one person. I left the path and examined the underbrush. Laying there naked was a boy about my age. I rushed over and looked at him, he was covered in scrapes and there were bruises already forming on his body. Upon closer inspection, I recognized him. It was George Whitley, one of my classmates in my art class.

“George, are you alright? “, I asked urgently.

George looked up at me, there was blood on his face, and tears streaming down his cheeks. “He took it… he… he..” George squeaked out those words, then he lapsed into all-out sobbing and crying.

I knelt down and held George, as I called for an ambulance and police.

About 15 minutes later a squad car and ambulance rolled up to the trail parking lot. I had managed to cover George up some with my jacket and hoodie, and had helped him to the trail entry. The police officers questioned me, and I relayed all I knew. I walked them back along the trail to where I had found George.

The officers took my name and contact info, and led me back up the trail. The ambulance had left, with George inside. I walked back home somberly and entered the house and sat there in silence.

DeShaun was the first person to arrive back home. I explained what happened, and he sat beside me silent, his arm around me.
When Mom came home, DeShaun headed to the kitchen, making the pretense of fixing himself some dinner. I told Mom what had happened, and I sat there as she hugged me.

Mom spoke up. “Casey, I know this might be hard to hear, but you need to be more careful now. You need to realize your new reality. In this case, you were lucky, and you helped your classmate. But you were reckless. You need to stop thinking like a boy. You are an attractive young lady now, and there are people that will prey upon that. You went out alone to an area that had lots of places you could have been attacked and raped, yourself. I don’t mean to sound alarmist, but you need to think of these things from now on.”

Mom hugged me tight, and I started to cry. She was right, I was in denial about it, but she was right. I was a girl now, and even if I didn’t have my girl parts yet… men would see me as vulnerable.

After a while, Mom headed to her office to work. DeShaun joined me on the couch, and I snuggled in against him for security. He kissed my cheek, and I flinched. He looked at me, and I could see there was hurt in his eyes, though he didn’t say anything.

“DeShaun, I… I’m sorry. Just…. Give me some time, okay? I need to think.”, I said apologetically.

I headed upstairs and laid down on the bed. I sobbed myself to sleep.

I woke up in my rumpled clothes, and headed to take a shower. It was 6 AM, and I had managed to somehow sleep through the night. I got undressed and looked at myself I the mirror. All I saw was a flat-chested girl. Nothing remained of my old self. Even my dick had surrendered. I looked at it, now an over-sized clit. I sighed and climbed into the shower.

Breakfast was eaten in silence. Mom offered us a ride, but DeShaun and I opted to walk to school. We did so in more awkwardness. I arrived in class, and saw Amy and May grinning like the cats that had swallowed the canary. Luna wasn’t there. I pondered that, and sent a quick text to her before class started.

When I saw Janie, I told her about the previous evening, and she bit her lip and trembled. DeShaun and I were book-ending her on either side, and we both put our arms around her shoulders. She sighed and perked up a little.

“Thanks you two, I needed that.”, she said. “I don’t know him that well, but when I see him, I’ll try to have a word with him, one survivor to another.”

We both hugged our brave girl. The topic of conversation then turned to Luna.

Neither Janie nor DeShaun had seen her at all today. I was worried, and send another text. When there was no reply, I got worried. We all discussed it, and Janie and I had decided to head over to her house after school. DeShaun had a walk-through for the game tomorrow, so he couldn’t join us.

Janie met me out front of my house, she was on a new bike, while I had my old one. I had quickly adjusted the seat and everything as best as I could, but with my smaller size, and new center of balance, it was difficult to ride at first. We still made good time though over to Luna’s house. I knocked on the door, and Luna’s Mother came to the door. She had a bruised lip, and the beginnings of a black eye. She timidly showed us in.
The living room was a mess, furniture was tipped over, and there were broken items strewn about. Luma’s Mom appeared to be in the midst of cleaning them up. She went back to work, and left us to go upstairs alone.

When we reached Luna’s room, Janie knocked on the door quietly.

“Not now Mom, I don’t feel like coming out.”, she stated in a quiet voice.

“Luna, it’s Janie and Casey, can we come in?”, Jamie asked gently.

We heard a sigh, and then in her soft voice, Luna said “Come in.”

Luna was laying on the bed, her back was bare and exposed. She had several bleeding lash-marks on it. Her lip was also split, and she had a small cut on her right cheek that had dried blood on it. Her room was similarly trashed. Her old desktop was laying on the floor against the wall. Her drawers were open and clothing was scattered about. Luna’s sewing machine was on the floor, and looked smashed.

“I hid the laptop and my phone. They weren’t damaged. There is a floorboard under the rug that can be lifted out of place. They are under there.”, she said. She grimaced as she moved and it looked like she was having difficulty breathing.

Janie sat down beside her, and carefully combed her hair from her face.

“What happened?”, I asked.

“Daddy… well, Daddy gets mad sometimes. Mad at Mom, mad at me, mad at work. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? NOTHING?”, Janie said in a fit of rage. “He beat the crap out of your mother, out of you, he trashed the house, from what I can see. It’s not nothing!”

I looked at Luna. “Does this happen often?”, I inquired. Her inability to look at me was all the answer I needed.

“We need to get you and your Mom out of this situation.”, I said. Janie nodded her agreement.

“Daddy doesn’t mean to hurt us, he’s just under a lot of stress. It’s not easy to take care of Mom and I. We are weak and useless.”, Luna rationalized.

“Weak and useless?”, I said laughing. “You willingly investigated a sociopathic monster that tried to murder someone and you stayed around them even after learning how scary they were. You, Luna, are the bravest girl I’ve met.”

Janie looked at me and cuffed me gently on the back of the head.

“Err… one of the bravest”, I corrected.

Luna laughed briefly, then winced.

We gently helped Luna up, and then dressed her. With one of us on either side, we helped her down the stairs. Luna gasped at the state of the living room. Her mother was diligently working on cleaning up.

Luna shed a tear and spoke up. “Mom, stop. We need to leave things as they are, so the police can document them.”

Luna’s Mother looked at her. “It’s nothing. He told me he was sorry. That he’ll try to improve.”

Luna pushed away from Janie and I. She looked at her mother with a look I could only describe as pity. “Mom! He will NEVER change! In all these years, he has promised that over and over! Then he’ll go out and get smashed, and come back and beat you up. Then when that’s not enough, he turns on me! I’ve kept it from you, but he does!”

Luna’s mother looked at her, then her brow furrowed. “Liar! You are just saying that. He wouldn’t do that!”

“Oh Mom, how could you be so blind? How do you think I got this cut? Or these bruises? Or the belt lashes on my back? You are in denial. He makes you feel worthless, so that you will stay! I even fell for it! I knew that this was a common tool of abusers, but I denied it. NO MORE! If you won’t do something, I will!”

With that, Luna called the police. Very soon, a squad car rolled up. When the officers entered, they photographed the house, making notes about the damages. Luna very bravely allowed her injuries to be photographed. Mrs. Day was more reluctant, but she finally allowed it as well. After all the pictures, our statements were taken, and the police escorted Luna and her mother to the hospital. Janie’s Dad came and picked us up and took us there as well.

Mrs. Day couldn’t drive, as her husband had convinced her that she was worthless, and would never be able. When the police asked if there was somewhere they could go that would be safe, Luna mentioned that her uncle, that is to say, her mother’s brother lived nearby, and that he would take them in.

She made the call, and he arrived not long after. With all the excitement and the turmoil of the past two days, I was emotionally beat. On the ride home, Janie sat in the back seat with me, and we held hands, hopig that things would turn out to be better for our little kitten from now on. When I got home, Dad was sitting at the dinner table, looking over some papers. I walked over to him and gave him the biggest hug I could.

“What was that for, Casey?”, He asked confused.

I smiled and hugged him tighter. “For being a decent and kind man, and the best father a girl could ever want.”, I said, before kissing his cheek.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 30.

I woke up and stretched. I had had a good night of sleep and was well rested. All my aches and pains were gone. I felt great, as I sat up on the edge of my bed, the implications of that hit me. No more aches and pains. No more muscular and tendon changes. I was finished adapting physically, save for the final obvious changes, the reproductive ones. I blinked a few times, trying to let that settle in.

I got changed out of my pajamas and headed off to the bathroom, getting there just ahead of DeShaun. I know it seems cliché, but ever since my change, Showers and bathing took longer than when I was a boy. I heard the grumbling as I was washing my hair. I took my time and finally spared him the waiting, coming out wrapped in a towel. To say that his eyes bugged out of his head would be an understatement. I giggled and took it as a compliment.

Today he had another away game. Mom would be busy with school things, and dad was working on his case, so unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to go. But I had plans anyhow, Janie and I were having a sleepover, and we would go and get our outfits for the homecoming dance next week.

I slipped into my sweats and stretched, out of curiosity, I tried a few things and discovered I could do the splits and put my foot up over my head, like they do in figure skating. Yay me, I’m flexible!

I finished getting ready and went down stairs, Dad was just leaving, and mom was motioning for me to come along.

“Thanks Mom, but I am feeling fine. I think I’ll walk, if DeShaun wants to join me, that is.?”, I said, as I batted my long lashes at him.

He almost did a spit-take, but he agreed, and we walked in the cool late September weather.
He walked me to class, and made sure I got in safely. I gave him a kiss for his troubles, and walked in.

The twins were sitting together of course, and Luna was back, but she was sitting a ways away from them. She had on make-up to hide the bruises, but she still looked down. I gave her a brief glance, and winked to her, in a way that the twins couldn’t see. I sat down and my phone vibrated. I checked it and read the message.

<>

I put my phone away and looked up at the front of the class as the teacher walked in.

I snuck some glances at her periodically, but she was either looking at the whiteboard, or her books.

At lunch, I sat next to DeShaun and Janie, they were talking about football, and how Coach Grant had put the team on notice. If they tried to freeze out DeShaun or anyone else, those responsible would lose their starting positions.

DeShaun had heard about what had happened with Luna, and he was angry, but there really wasn’t anything he could do.

“I’m thinking of inviting her over tonight. Janie and I are going to go shopping tomorrow for the homecoming dance, and I think it’d be good for her if she came along with.”, I said.

Janie stirred her straw around in her tea, thinking. “Is she even going?”, she asked. That was a good question.

I looked at DeShaun, and I looked at Janie. “I have an idea, actually. DeShaun, I know you asked both of us to be your date, but if it’s all the same with you, can I take Luna instead?”, I asked.

I saw the look on his face, and it was obvious that stung, but then it had the effect that I selfishly hoped it would.

“Instead of you taking her, I’m going to ask her.”, Janie exclaimed. “Though I know you were saying that to get me to do it, it’s still a good idea. She’s both of our pet, after all.”

DeShaun looked much relieved. I admit, I was too. Not that I wasn’t happy to share him, but this would get use more dance time… and more make out time too.

Janie sent a message to Luna, asking to meet her after school out front.

When the time rolled around, I was standing there with Janie, when Luna walked up. “Amy and May might have pushed me to the side, but it’s still dangerous for me to be seen with you two”, she stated in that logical, factual way she had.

“Fuck that.”, Janie and I said in unison. One of the added benefits of Luna moving over to her Uncle’s place was that she was now in walking distance from my house and from the school. The three of us headed to her Uncle’s place, with her in the lead.

It took only a short while to get there. It was a nicer house than her parents house, and she fumbled with the key as she let us in.

“Mom? Uncle Les? Anyone home?”, she said in a loud voice. A man came out of a small office off the foyer, and greeted us. He was not especially tall, maybe 5’6” or so. He had a thin mustache and thick glasses.

“Luna! Brought friends, I see.”, he said looking at Janie and I.

We both introduced ourselves, and Luna introduced us to her Uncle Les.

“I’m sorry things are a mess.”, he said. “My husband took my sister to get a restraining order placed against my brother-in-law.” He looked at Luna and frowned. She just seemed to shrug it off.

With her mother gone, we sat on the couch for a while, talking. Janie sat next to Luna, and put her arm around the kitten, snuggling her.

“Kitty, you are very important to us, and there is something I would like to ask you. Will you be my date to the Homecoming Dance?”, Janie asked. She leaned in and gave Luna a kiss on the cheek.

Luna started to cry, and then fidget. “I… I don’t have anything suitable to wear, and I can’t afford a nice dress.”

I started to open my mouth to speak, but Her uncle beat me to it. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you use my platinum card. Spend whatever you want. Nothing is too good for my niece.”, he said with a loving smile.

I spoke up next. “We are going tomorrow, to shop. If you want, you can spend the night. Janie is also staying over.”

Luna glanced at her uncle, who nodded happily. “I’ll inform your mother when she gets home, in the mean time, you should go pack some overnight things.”

Luna raced up the stairs happily.

Les turned to us. “Thank you for being so good to her. I begged my sister to leave him, but she never had the courage. I know Luna talked her into it, but I don’t think she would have before. Even back when she was Luke, she was small, like most of our family. We tend to just do what is expected of us, to avoid conflict. But if you convinced Luna to stand up for herself, that courage helped her help her mother see that she had to leave, for her safety, and for Luna’s as well. I can’t thank you enough.”, he stated as he wiped a tear from his eye.

We joined Luna upstairs. I sat at her desk, while Janie sat next to her. The two made out for a little while, I wanted to join them, but I thought better of it.

“So, what happened with the Wilders?”, I asked.

Luna looked up and frowned. “They just pushed me out. No real reason, except they thought that I had too much dirt. They seem to think that I was Marcia’s right hand girl.”, she stated.

We all had a good laugh at that.

“Well, that’s a relief!” I said happily. “This means we can freely be with the kitten!”

Luna blushed and let out a soft “mew”.

I came over to her and sat on her other side. I gave her a kiss, and Janie gave her a quick grope on the breast.

We headed down stairs, and said our goodbyes. We headed off to my house, and stowed our stuff in my room. I went into the bathroom and changed into some yoga pants and a light tee. Janie and Luna had taken the opportunity to also change into some lighter clothing.

Luna looked up at me. “I have to ask. Why do you go into the other room? Mistress Janie and I change in here, but you go out to change. You did that when I stayed over last time too.”, she queried.

I sighed and answered. “You know that Janie and I had sex back when I was still physically male, right? And of course DeShaun was the one that I rutted with.”

She nodded, and I continued. “Well, I’ve told them that until I’m fully female, this is how it is. I want them to remember me as I was, and as I will be. Not something in-between that’s not male or female sexually.”

Luna nodded and seemed to understand. She spoke up. “So, how close are you?”

“Well, today, my muscle and tendon pain finally stopped. Except for the sad remains of what I once had, I’m what I will be.”, I said, somewhat sad. “But I’ll be complete soon.”

They both closed in on me from either side, both kissing me on a cheek, and wrapping their arms around me.

After a good while cuddling, the three of use went down to the kitchen, I got out the chicken, and sliced it up, while Luna helped Janie make a salad. I might be in Home Economics, but it was clear to see that Luna was a natural I the kitchen. I suppose that came from her resignation. She had decided that she would probably end up a girl, and so she had learned how to sew and cook, and do what she felt would be expected of her as a girl. That saddened me.

I pan-fried the chicken strips and when all was done, the three of us had caesar salads. I left a note on the fridge for Mom, Dad, and DeShaun, as I put away the extra chicken and salad in containers.

Sitting in the living room, we settled in watching movies. Mom was the first one home, and she complimented us on the salad. DeShaun was next, and Dad came in much later. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, again grateful to have such a wonderful father. Us girls headed upstairs, again, I used the bathroom to change. I walked in, and Luna and Janie were facing away from each other. Luna had just slipped into a black and purple camisole and some laced pajama shorts, while Janie was wearing a very sexy babydoll that her mother surely didn’t know she had. I motioned for Luna to get into bed, then I slipped in beside her, with Janie on the other side. We both kissed our kitten on the cheek.

I looked at both of them, and in the quietest whisper I could, I said. “I love you both, with all my heart.”

Janie giggled, and Luna blushed. We sat there in the dark, for what seemed like ages, just cuddling and spooning against the kitten. But everyone of us knew that when we thought everyone was asleep, then was when we would show her how much she had come to mean to us.

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Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 31

I Slipped behind Luna, and gently urged her to lay back against me. Gently I slipped her cami off, exposing her pale white skin. Janie had positioned herself in front of our pet, kneeling down in front of her. She gently slipped off the Kitten’s shorts, exposing her secrets to us. From where I was, I could see that out kitten was hairless and smooth. Janie smiled wickedly as she slid closer to Luna’s nether regions. I winked to Janie and began to softly knead out pet’s small breasts.

Luna let out a quiet “Mew”, and began to make soft purring sounds. I pinched her nipples gently, and Janie lowered her head ever closer. I felt Luna shiver and arch back against me. I knew that Janie must have started playing in earnest with our kitty’s… * snicker* … pussy. I couldn’t see that well from where I was, but I could hear quiet slurping and lapping. And I felt Luna tremble as I kept up my assault on her stiff little tits. I closed my eyes, and as I fondled and caressed our pet’s glands, I felt her shivering with excitement. I opened my mouth and sloooowly dragged my tongue up the back of her neck.

I felt Luna squeal expectantly, and moved my attention to her ears. I gently tugged on them with my teeth, and licked her behind the ears. I could feel her tense up against me and her breath hitched as she arched against me. She was breathing rapidly, panting as she fidgeted under out ministrations. I felt her breath catch again as she arched against me again, and knew she was close. I left soft kissed down her neck, and along her shoulders.

With a gentle squeal I felt our pet’s ragged, fast breathing build to a frantic pace, and with a loud gasp, she let go, like a balloon under pressure bursting. She panted hard, a few more moans escaping her lips, as she had aftershocks from her release. I turned her head towards me with my hands, and moved in, on her lips. I kissed her softly, then harder, seeking entry. She was tentative at first, then allowed her lips to part for my tongue to explore. She quickly returned the probing efforts, and we kissed passionately.

Janie slipped out from between the pet’s wet loins, and came up to rest beside us. Her face was wet with Luna’s moisture, and the two of us eagerly began to lick it off of her. We alternated kissing her, and then Luna moved to the foot of the bed.

“Mistress Casey, isn’t it time for Mistress Janie’s turn?”, she asked. I smiled and nodded, and my love assumed the same position laying against my. I guided the baby doll up and off as Luna took care of the panties.

I cupped my lover’s breasts, and gently flicked her already hard nipples with my fingers. Kneading gently, I played with them, as I could see that Luna had already gone down on her. I smiled wickedly, and began to trail my tongue up Janie’s long neck, and began licking her behind the ear.

As I knew well, it didn’t take much to push Janie over the edge, and as I sat there sucking on her earlobe, with her nipples pinched between my fingers, I knew that out little Kitten was eagerly lapping away at her. I felt Janie’s breathing escalate, her panting and rapid exhalation covering her desire to moan and cry out. Janie was a moaner and a screamer, I had learned that when I had had sex with her back all those weeks ago.

Had it only been weeks? It seemed forever. Even now I was momentarily distracted by those thoughts. The thoughts of how alien it seemed that I had ever been male.

I shook off those thoughts quickly. I concentrated instead on my lover, leaving gentle teasing kisses on her neck, her shoulders, behind her ears. I felt her arch back against my chest, HARD. I knew that Kitten was teasing her and I could feel that Janie would soon hit her climax. I took my hand off her breast and gently turned her head, so that I could cover her need to moan and cry out with my lips. I looked her in the eyes and kissed her passionately, getting her tongue to the point it was too busy to scream out. And Sealing our lips together I muffled her with my passionate mouth. When she came, I knew it, she broke the kiss and gasped, panting hard.

Luna scooted up to join us and Janie and I licked Janie’s juices off her face. The two of them looked at me.

“Don’t worry about me.”, I whispered. “Being here is enough for now, and it’s not like I have anything down there that’s responsive yet. But soon you two.. soon, I’ll be calling in this raincheck, once I have what I need.”

We all snuggled together. Luna and Janie discreetly snuck off to clean up, taking turns, so as to not garner any suspicion. After they were done, we all climbed back into bed. Janie ended up in the middle, with only her panties on. Luna had gotten fully dressed, and I hadn’t taken anything off. In some sort of bizarre breast pecking order, Janie’s full B-borderline-C breasts ended up putting her as the subject of Luna and my suckling quietly. We gently lay on either side, gently licking and sucking at her breasts until we all fell asleep.

We woke up early, and It was decided that Janie would get the first shower, since not only was she covered in her scent, but she had Luna and my drool all over her chest. Oops.

While she was I the shower, I cuddled my Kitty a little, and kissed her breasts. She purred for me, and hugged me tight. When Janie came back, Luna went to take her shower. Janie did a funny little tease dance for me, using her towel as a prop, before stripping. He both snickered, and then broke out laughing. I kissed her, and we made out for a little bit, then she did a sexy little dressing dance, sliding on her panties and putting on her bra. She stepped into some leggings, and put on a cute plaid skirt, a polo tee, and then put her hair up in a ponytail. It was starting to get to the point where she had a smallish tail. Not like Luna, who had clearly been growing hers long for at least a year.

Speaking of Luna, she returned, and it was my turn. I picked up my clothes and headed to the bathroom. DeShaun was approaching. I smiled, and let him quick make use of the bathroom. While I waited, Mom came out of the master bedroom, and headed down stairs.

DeShaun came out and looked at me. There was clearly something on his mind.

“Yes?”, I asked.

He looked at me, then looked down. “Did you girls… have fun last night?”, he asked.

I looked back at him, and I put my finger under his chin, lifting his head back up. “Please don’t be jealous. And mostly it was Luna and Janie. I… I’m not yet … ready. Physically, I mean. But when I am, I want you to be my first. And Janie likes you too. You might get super lucky, you never know...”, I said, grinning evilly.

Deshaun gulped, then smiled and headed back to his room, a noticeable pep back in his step.

I went in and stripped off my pajamas and did an examination. My scrotum had shrunk, and was now little more than a smallish flap of loose skin, but as I looked it over, I noticed that it had begun to form a part along the middle. Could it be? I was excited, more so than I had been in a while. If it was starting to form into my labial folds, then my vagina wouldn’t be far behind. I was thrilled. Thinking back on lat night, I had visions of Janie eating me out, and Luna doing the same. More though the thoughts of DeShaun’s long, thick dick penetrating me had me blushing and swooning. I dialed down the temperature of the shower to cold and started to wash in earnest.

After drying off and getting dressed, I headed down to the dining room. Luna and Janie were sitting at the table, blushing red as beets. Deshaun was trying his best to not look at any of us. I sighed and sat down.

Mom entered and took an assessment of the mood around the table. “Have some fun last night, girls?”, she asked in an unreadable tone. I looked at her, then at Janie and Luna.

“Umm...”, Janie started.

Mom was quick to cut her off. “Girls, I understand. You are young, and new to this all. You certainly care for each other. I can look the other way on this all, but If you are going to keep going, you certainly need to be subtle.”, she stated emphatically.

DeShaun chuckled, and she looked at him.

“As for you, young man. I know what your thoughts are right now. I would advise you to stop thinking with your penis. You are already in trouble because of it. You possibly have a son on the way already. And if you knock up Casey or any of these girls, I will have your balls hanging from my cars rear view mirror. Do you understand?”, Mom said in an angry tone.

DeShaun slid down in his chair. He glanced around uneasily.

The doorbell rang, and he jumped up to answer. He came back a few seconds later, Stephanie behind him.

“My sister and I are going to go out and do some things, before she has to fly back tomorrow.”, he said, clearly eager to leave.

I waved at Stephanie, and she smiled and waved back as they left.

Dad came down shortly after that, and we sat uncomfortably as Mom kissed him on the cheek, and brought him some waffles.

After quickly eating, Dad retreated to his office. He had lots of prep to do for when his case resumed on Monday.

I looked at mom, the stern look on her face softened, and we all got up and headed for the garage.
Janie and I allowed Luna the honor of riding shotgun. Mostly because we didn’t want to be next to Mom, but also so we could hold hands. It was going to be an interesting day, that’s for sure.

The southwest suburbs had no shortage of malls, The closest being Eden Prairie Mall, then the larger Southdale Mall, as the next closer mall, and the colossal Mall of America not much further away. It puzzled me then that we turned north, and were not headed to any of those three.

Mom seemed to sense my curiosity, and she explained. “I thought it might be good to go a little farther away, since all your schoolmates will be picking the closer malls clean.”

We drove along for a while, going up interstate 394, and then crossing onto 494. We were in Minnetonka, another of the more ritzy suburbs. We turned off the highway, and approached another mall, this one was apparently Ridgedale Mall, a sister of sorts to Southdale. We all got out of the car and looked around, taking everything in. Mom might have been onto something, at least it was more likely that our dresses would be secret and, Since Minnetonka had probably already had their homecoming festivities, we could likely get something pretty here.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 32

Our first stop was Macy’s, where Janie and Luna disappeared into the racks. I started to poke around, but Mom shook her head and motioned for me to come with her. We left the store and I found myself in all too familiar territory. Victoria’s secret. I had told Mom that I was done with my more drastic physical changes, I guess this was the result. I didn’t have any real objections, as the boxers were now too tight, what with my hips being a lot wider, and… my huge ass. >_<

She decided that Luna and Janie could be left alone, I guess. I needed mother/daughter time. I was escorted into a world of panties. Boy-shorts, bikini cut, french cut, th...th… thongs. Mom made sure t9 indoctrinate me in them all, showing me all styles and varieties. As a boy, I had it so simple. Boxers or briefs, thighty-whiteys, boxer-brief combo. It all seemed so simple. This girl thing is difficult. We emerged much later, with a big bag of undies, and Mom not so subtly informed me it wasn’t done. I was sure a trip to Target would come for every-day regulars. Erk.

It was time to catch up to the others. I dug my phone out and texted Janie, checking if they were still at Macy’s.

I got a reply a few seconds later confirming.

Mom and I caught up to them, they were waiting on us, apparently. Luna had a garment bag slung over her arm, apparently she had found her dress. Janie was still looking around, hesitant. I looked over at Mom.

“Mom, can you maybe take Luna down to look at shoes? I think Janie needs to talk to me. “, I whispered discreetly.

Mom nodded, and put her hand on Luna’s shoulder. They headed off for the shoe department.

“Something wrong?”, I asked as gently as I could.

Janie buried her face in my chest and sobbed. Not an easy thing for her to do, as she had a couple inches on me now.

“I… I can’t. The attendant, she. My scars. I can’t do this.”, she sniffled, with her head still buried in my lack of cleavage.

I patted her head and looked around. The coast was clear, so I put my finger under her chin, lifting her head. Then I gave her a deep, loving, caring kiss.

“I’m here to help you. And I don’t care what anyone else says. DeShaun doesn’t care. Luna doesn’t care. Nobody that knows you cares.”, I said affectionately.

Janie nodded emphatically, and we went back to searching. It took 45 minutes, but we both found the perfect dresses. Now it was time to rendezvous with Mom and Luna. We found them a little while later down in the show department. Luna was trying on a pair of black shoes with a very high heel. I looked at them uncertainly. If I had those monsters on, I’d break my neck. Luna though was walking on them like a pro.

She noticed our stares, and laughed before speaking. “Welcome back you two. I can read your faces, by the way. I’ve had plenty of practice with heels. I used to try on Mom’s before I changed, and I got used to them. You two might need lessons though. We can crash course tonight. Erm… sorry, ‘crash’ might be a bad word.”

She laughed and walked around on the ridiculous heels. They were easily 4” tall. Janie and I looked at each other, and our heads drooped in shame. I looked called Mom over and showed her the dress, and asked her help to find something that would look good with it, and not kill me. Janie sighed and did the same.

After a bit of showing off, Luna came back, took the shoes she had decided on, and put them back in their box. She went over and put her arm around Janie’s back, and lead her off to look for something.
We idled around in the shoe department for a good while, until miracle of miracles, we all found something we were satisfied with.

“I’m glad that’s done”, I said in exhaustion, after we had finished with the footwear.

Luna cocked her head, and asked. “What do you mean?”

I looked at her and held up my bags. “We have our dresses and shoes.”

Janie looked over at me and sighed. “Yes, but there’s more to go. We need handbags, and don’t forget the stockings.”

“Stockings?”, I asked, confused.

Mom giggled. “Nylons, silly”

I was still lost. Luna was the one that cleared it up for me. “Pantyhose, doofus.”, she said, sticking her tongue out at me.

I sighed as we walked down to the accessories department. Mom had seen our shoes and dresses, and knew exactly what it was we needed. She flew around the accessories department, scooping up packs of hosiery, and clutches and bags. She looked at me thoughtfully, then wandered over and grabbed a purse.

I was at a total loss, and despite her knowing more than I did, I could tell that Janie was too. We let Luna and Mom take the lead. Soon, we had what we needed from that department. I looked around, thinking we were done, but then Luna said something that made my fragile dying male ego shatter like glass.

“Time to go check the perfume counter, I think!”, she said with giddy glee.

I looked at Janie, and she looked at me. How much more would there be? I thought I had accepted my fate, but now I felt something rumbling in the back of my head that wanted to kick DeShaun in the nuts when we got home. Okay, okay. I know that I should stop blaming him, but jeez.

Janie and I were dragged kicking and screaming to the make-up counter. “But I already have make-up” and “I don’t really need perfume, do I?” were but two of our sad cries.

It turned out though that it wasn’t as bad as all that. The woman at the counter was a pro. She quickly looked us over, and sat us down, and gave the three of us a make-over, recommending mascara, lip-gloss, blush that suited us, and fit with the outfits. Janie and I did manage to get our share of revenge on the kitten too, as the woman at the counter chastised her for all the black and dark purple make-up she had on. After an amusing show, where Kitten was cleaned of her goth trappings, Janie and I “oohed and ahhed” as the Maestro performed her work, making our kitten of darkness look beautiful. After the session, we all were loaded up with make-up. Janie and I had even found some perfume that wasn’t too strong, and suited us.

I looked at Mom. “I know we have more to do, I’m sure… but I’m starving, and I’m guessing the others are as well.”, I stated, exhausted. Janie and Luna nodde3d in agreement, and Mom took us over to an Asian restaurant we had seen there.

We sat and looked at the menu in wonder. There were so many Thai dishes that looked awesome, but the big thing that I noticed was a “make your own stir-fry” bar. I looked over at Janie, and she nodded. Luna was still looking over the menu.

The waiter came over and Janie and I opted for the stir-fry bar with chicken, while Luna ordered the beef. Mom ordered pork. We all had hibiscus lemonade, and our bowls were brought over. The four of us went over and selected our vegetables from the bar, and turned in the bowls to the cooks.

We went and sat back down as we waited. When the waiter came back, our chosen vegetables had been expertly cooked and mixed in with plenty of pieces of meat. As we ate, we all talked about the shopping. Janie and I were so tired, but Mom and Luna looked like it was the best thing in the world.

After we were done, we all piled in the car, our packages in the trunk. We headed home, but Janie and I were exhausted and nodded off in the car.

I felt a nudge, and realized the car had stopped. We were home. I went around to the back of the Cayenne and got all my bags out. We headed upstairs and I hung my dress up carefully, making sure that the garment bag was not crushed or wrinkled.

I sat down on the bed, and I guess I was crying, because I felt Janie and Luna wrap their arms around me. We laid there for a while.

“I’m sorry guys. I know this was supposed to be a good day, but I feel so overwhelmed.”, I sobbed.

Luna came over and carefully dabbed away the tears. “It’s all right, it takes a while to get used to this, and even after years, I doubt we’ll still get blindsided by life now and again. Now don’t ruin your make-up, we need to put everything on and give them a fashion show!”, she said cheerfully.

Janie blushed. “Erm, I need to go shave my legs if I’m going to be putting on hose.”, she said embarrassed. She dug in her backpack and got out her travel kit, and headed off to the bathroom.

I sat and hugged Luna. “You know, you are even cuter when you don’t have all the heavy ‘Dark Kitten, bringer of gothic death and doom’ make-up on.”, I said to her.

She stuck her tongue out at me, then grabbed my pillow and clobbered me over the head with it.

After Janie returned, I went and shaved, myself.

I came back in, and Janie was wearing a very sexy pair of black lacy panties, and a strapless black push-up bra. She was slipping on a pair of nylons, and I watched her, observing how to do it.

I had changed into a pair of bikini-cut panties, myself. It was so strange feeling them on my body, so soft and different than male underwear. They were smooth and silky, and felt good against me. I opened up my own pair of hose, and were carefully guiding them over my legs. They felt smooth and gentle against my body. I had worn leggings, but this was a new feeling altogether.

I stood up and turned away from Luna and Janie as I got my dress out. I looked at it. Granted I had worn skirts and dresses before, but this seemed to feel like some sort of threshold, that passing over assured my formal coming out as a girl.

I unzipped the garment bag and took out my dress. It was a violet dress with spaghetti straps. It clung to my body, accentuating my narrow waist, generous hips and butt. At the same time, built-in padding gave me the illusion of a slight bust. The dress flowed down from the hips to just above the knee. I slipped on a pair of black strapped shoes with a slight heel. Going into my jewelry box, I got out a pair of silver teardrop earrings with tourmaline set in them. A matching silver necklace with one stone dangling from it was put on as well. Tourmaline was my birthstone, as my birthday was... omg my birthday! How could I forget? It was coming up, and soon!

I carefully sat down, making sure to carefully tuck the dress under me. Janie and Luna looked at me as I sat there hyperventilating.

“Casey? Is something wrong?”, they both asked concerned. When I finally got my breathing under control, I answered. “I… I forgot my birthday.. My family will be coming, and this will be the… f...first time they see me. Some of them don’t know… I’m doomed.”

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 33

I walked down the stairs, nervously, Luna had styled my hair, and with my dress and make-up on, I felt self-conscious. DeShaun’s head swiveled around and his eyes bugged out. I stood there in my dress, , with my clutch in hand. My hair was styled into a more perky bob, with the hair fastened by bobby pins to stay behind my ears. My tourmaline earrings clearly visible. The violet-colored dress exposed my shoulders. With the padded front and high neckline, I looked like I actually had breasts, albeit small ones. It hugged my sides and accented that I had what DeShaun had taken to jokingly calling my ghetto booty. From where it hugged the hips, it flowed down to above the knee. I had on some smokey hose and my black shoes with the small heel.

DeShaun stood up and walked over, clearly in awe. Dad had returned, and was now looking at me with a strange look on his face. Mom was smiling, and fighting back a tear. Dad ran and got his camera.

While he was gone, Luna came down. She had on a black dress with white lace around the v-neck that called attention to her modest cleavage. There was a white band around the waist, and more lace around the hem, which was just above the knee. She had on white hose with lace at the top, and a pair of black Mary Janes. Her hair was braided in one long braid that ended around her waist. She had white lace ribbons entwined through it, and a white bow tying it off near the end. She had her kitty collar on, and a pair of crescent moon earrings that she had told me were the signature detail of some anime character that had her name.

Dad snapped a few pictures of me, and then some of Luna, and then some of us together. After a couple minutes, it was Janie’s turn, and she came down the stairs. We all gasped when we saw her.

Janie had on a royal blue dress that accented her eyes. Her blonde hair was up in a french braid. She had on pale blue teardrop earrings, and a silver chain with a solitary blue gemstone. The dress was satin and sleeveless, with a plunging v-neck, and low back. She had on a pair fancy sleeved-gloves over her forearms. The dress went down just below the knees, with a subtle slit down one side. Underneath she had on pale hose, and a pair of blue shoes with a slight heel. She looked amazing, and I was lucky that I had noticed that dress. Not only did it compliment her eyes, but the sleeves were a saving grace. She had been so down about her healing wounds, and was thinking of giving up on the dance.

We all hugged and Dad took many pictures of all of us. I glanced over at DeShaun on occasion, and was satisfied that I wasn’t the only one that had caught his eye.

After a little hamming it up and playing supermodel, we went back upstairs and carefully got changed. I of course was in the bathroom, and Luna and Janie were in my room. Once I had gotten into my sweatpants and a tank top, I came back into the room, and found the two goofballs still in their underwear, making out.

“Jeez, you two! What if My Mom had come in?”, I scolded, though certainly enjoying the eye-full.

They blushed and did a sexy strip, getting out of their fancy underwear, and then putting on something more mundane. Luna turned and stuck her tongue out at me.

“Looks like no milk for the kitty”, I said laughing.

Luna’s face formed that irresistible cute pout that she had mastered. Seriously, nobody was possibly immune to that face. I threw a pillow at her, and the two laughed and got into their regular clothes.

We came downstairs and Mom was still crying. She came over to me and wrapped me in a big hug.

“My baby is becoming a beautiful woman!”, she said between tears. I looked at Mom, she wasn’t normally this emotional. Dad came over and put his arm around her back, and she let me go.

Meanwhile, DeShaun was still standing there like an idiot. I walked over and snapped my fingers in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance.

“Oh, uh.. sorry.” he muttered, “You all look gorgeous.”

“Darn straight!”, Luna exclaimed, causing more laughter.

Janie and I went out to the back yard, bringing our baseball gloves along. As we threw the ball around Luna sat in the shade, watching.

“You know J”, I said. “I’m thinking I might go out for the softball team this spring.”

Janie looked at me, questioningly.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m serious. I was a decent hitter in baseball, but my lack of power and strength held me up from playing seriously. But ever since my growing pains stopped, I’ve been testing my limits. I’m a LOT more flexible and I’m pretty quick.”, I stated.

“Hmmm, I might consider it too, maybe.”, she said in a thoughtful tone. “What about you, Luna?”

Luna snorted. “The only position I ever played was left out. No, I think I’ll leave the jock stuff to you two… Although I could make a pretty sexy goth cheerleader outfit… Hmmm.”

Janie and I looked at each other, and I know she was picturing the same thing as I was, the girls from the Video for that Nirvana song. We both broke down laughing, causing Luna to look at us oddly.

I laughed and giggled. Luna just thought we had lost our minds.

After a while, we headed in and started dinner. Luna once again glided around the kitchen like a pro, leaving us newbies behind in her dust.

We sat down and started in on the burgers she made, hey… Janie and I cut the tomatoes, and onions and stuff… XD

After dinner the girls and I went back up stairs to do what girls apparently do at weekend sleep-overs… gossip.

“Any new news on the Wilder sisters?”, I asked, looking at Luna.

She shook her head. “After they kicked me loose, I lost any possibility of getting news from that clique.”, she said in a dejected tone.

Janie hugged Kitten, and kissed the top of her head. “well, at least the upside of that is that we can openly smother the chibi-goth in love.”

Luna gave a fake pout and poked Janie in the boob. “So says ‘Miss expand-o-boobs’, I mean really...”

Janie let out a “Hmph!”, and retorted. “They aren’t that big, and I’m barely into a C cup now. You wanna tease someone, tease the girl with the 22” waist, over there.”

I let out a little gasp of shock. “Me? Luna’s is smaller than mine!”, I said, trying to defend myself.

Luna giggled, and jumped in. “Not by much, and I’m tiny all around, unlike you… Sir Mix-A-Lot was talking about you, I think!”

I laughed and chucked a pillow at Luna. She dodged, and it ended up nailing Janie. She scowled and the pillow fight was on. About 20 minutes later, we all lay on the floor, gasping for air, totally winded.

Luna looked at me. “Seriously though, you said you were done with the big size and shape changes, so spill it, what Are your numbers?”

I blushed and responded. “Janie was right about my waist, though I’m sure that was a guess. For the record, I’m 5’4” even, and… erm... 32-22-36. But I still don’t have anything to wear a bra for.” I blushed and hid my face with my pillow.

I think Luna could sense that I was feeling uncomfortable. “Well, you got me beat, Mistress. Only 5’2”, and a puny 30-20-32… I get some of my clothing in the children’s department.”, she pouted.

Janie leaned in and licked Luna’s cheek in a sexy manner. “But that’s part of your sexy cuteness, Pet.”

Janie started tickling Luna, and had her rolling around and begging her to stop.

I looked at Janie, who caught the glance. She sighed. “Fine, I’ll tell. I’m 5’6”, and a very plain 34-24-34. and I’m * sigh* already a C, as we’ve established. I’m just afraid that I’m going to turn into one of those girls with the huge hooters that gets stared at. With my scars, that’s going to be rough.”

Luna and I both shuffled over to either side of her and cupped her, kneading her gently through her shirt and bra.

Laughing, Luna spoke. “Mistress. From where we sit, you are juuuuust right.”

We both eased Janie onto her back, and lifted her shirt. I kissed her flat tummy, and moved aside, allowing Luna a turn. Luna snaked her tiny hand behind Janie and unfastened the bra. Lifting it up and out of the way, I pressed my body against her side and began to gently suckle on her left breast. Luna did likewise on the right breast. We laid there for a bit, as Janie felt the therapeutic love we showed her.

After a few minutes, we both sat up, and allowed her to fix her clothing. We all sat on the bed and as Luna rifled through my DVD collection, I turned to Janie.

“Janie, my love. I need to ask a favor. It might be hard for you, but it might also do you some good, and I’m sure it’ll help someone else.”, I said delicately. “There’s a boy in one of my classes, George Whitley… He’s going to need your help, I think.”

“Sure, I know George.”, Janie responded. I used to hang out with him. Nice guy, kinda quiet. Always carried a sketch pad around with him. What happened?

“He… he was raped during his rut. I found him on the nature trails in the park, and he was taken to the hospital. I don’t think he knows who did it, but I know he’s going to need some friends when he returns to school. I know that the Wilders are targeting new girls, newly female ones, I mean... And if they got a hold of him, they would use him for their own selfish means, and not care about his emotional state.” I said.

I could see that Janie was visibly shaking, and so could Luna. We wrapped her in the tightest hug we could, until it stopped. When she had calmed down, She slowly extricated herself from our embrace.

“I… I will do what I can, but this has to be handled carefully. Let me approach him. He’s in your final period art class, right?” she said, with her arms wrapped around her raised knees.

“Do either of you have a class with him before then?”, she asked. Luna and I shook our heads.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what he looks like.” Luna said. “But I know I don’t have any classes with him, from roll call.”

Janie nodded. “Okay. Casey, if you see him at school before your final class, send me a text, and I’ll meet you at the end of class, in order to ‘bump’ into him.”

With that said, we had begun ‘Operation: Save George’, in earnest. Janie and I would keep our eyes peeled for him at school With that begun, we turned to the more important matters of night two of the sleep over weekend, namely not allowing Luna to put one of her gothic horror movies into the DVD player.

~o~O~o~

I love comments, questions, and suggestions. Let me hear them!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 34

It was Sunday morning, and I changed in the bathroom, as normal. Janie and Luna were busy having sex, and I felt like a third wheel. Climbing down the stairs, I encountered DeShaun at the bottom step.
He was sitting on it and thinking. I gently brushed past him, and that’s when he noticed me.

“Sorry, I was busy thinking about things.”, he said to me. I motioned for him to get up and follow me, which he did. He sat on the couch, and I flopped down sideways, my head in his lap. As he stroked my hair, I felt peaceful, and I could tell he was calming down.

I faked being asleep and when Mom and Dad came down and I heard the “awww”, I pretended I didn’t.

Janie and Luna came down a little while later, both looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. I smirked at them, careful not to tip off my parents. We sat and had a nice breakfast and then we went out to the back yard. Mom insisted on schooling DeShaun in basketball, which of course, she did. Dad sat in the hammock and read a book. Janie, Luna, and I just kind of hung out and talked about girl stuff. It was nice.

The afternoon rolled on, and we eventually said goodbye, as Mom dropped Luna and Janie off at their houses.

It was a pretty normal day, well… what counted for normal in this family, anyhow.
DeShaun and Dad watched the Vikings game, while Mom pretended to not be interested. It was sort of a running joke. Mom had been a football player, and knew more about the sport than anyone else in the house, possibly except DeShaun, of course. I was there, but my interest in the game was minimal. I hadn’t been a huge sports fan, but I had been one. But with my change, I found that more male activities didn’t hold the same allure to me anymore. I was more and more interested in what people considered to be “girly”.

I pondered this quite a lot. It was established that during the change there were fundamental changes made to the brain, neural pathways re-organizing themselves, the physical structure changing and shifting, and even the physical composition was altered. Was I being hard-wired to become someone else? Less than a month had passed, but male-me would not recognize this person in front of them.

The game ended, and Dad and DeShaun headed for the kitchen. Mom looked at me gazing off into space. “Penny for your thoughts”, she said.

I sighed and told her what was on my mind. Mom nodded and spoke. “I was like that too, at your age. Wondering if I was still me. I think we all go through it when we change. I can tell that you are still my baby. Your interests may have shifted, and your sexuality and gender… but you are still the best kid in the world.”, she said before heading off to the kitchen.

I blushed and wandered over to the bookcase. I pulled out a photo album and sat looking at it. Pictures of Mom at various stages of her pregnancy. Pictures holding me in the hospital. Baby pictures of me face-diving into my first birthday cake. My first bike ride, learning to swim, they were all in there. I sat there and I started to cry. I looked at the stranger in the pictures. That little boy that no longer existed.

I put the album down on the coffee table and curled into a ball on the couch. DeShaun walked in and saw me laying there. He sat down beside me, and stroked my hair. He loved doing that. He took notice of the album and picked it up.

“Don’t...” I started to say, but it was too late. He had opened it, and was looking through it.

“You were really cute as a baby.”, He said to me softly. I closed my eyes and just laid there. “You’ll be okay, my love. You are strong. You will be an amazing woman, and I hope someday.. an amazing wife and mother.” I peeked up at him, and he was smiling.

I bit my lip as he stroked my hair. Were things as bad as I was making them out to be? I was in a panicky mood, but was he right? Could I really do it? Hmm… Mrs. Casey McAllister? Maybe. Just maybe I could?

DeShaun looked at the pictures. “You were a cute baby!”, He exclaimed as he looked at the pictures. “Of course, you still are cute.”, he said.

I blushed and uncurled from the ball, and leaned against him.

He was looking at a picture from when I was in 4th grade. “Who’s the dorky kid pouring the bucket of sand over your head?”, he inquired about the subject of the picture.

“You should know, you stare at her boobs often enough when you think I’m not looking.”, I teased.

DeShaun looked at me confused. “Silly, that’s Jani… er, James.”, I explained to him.

DeShaun looked again. “Oh yeah, I can see it now. Also, I don’t stare at them that much.”

I rolled my eyes and rested my head in his lap, occasionally answering questions about various pictures. Eventually we started to get tired, and retreated to our rooms.

I got changed, looking in the full-length mirror. I couldn’t see that boy at all, but I could see the girl I was close to being.

I examined myself closely. The tiny loose remains of my scrotum had completed their transformation into my labia, and my penis or clitoris or whatever it was had shrunk noticeably, now being only an inch and a half long. The most important thing though was the tiny opening I discovered. It was only a few centimeters long, but it was there. I was a girl! I had a vagina now!

I got changed into my pajamas and went to bed. Dreams of me holding DeShaun’s son filled my night, others with me pregnant with a boy of our own. I got a very restful sleep.

Morning came, and I was up and showered quickly. I ran down the stairs with a pep in my step. DeShaun watched as I tore the kitchen apart making breakfast. I settled down after our lunches were made, and he looked at me.

“What has you so excited?”, he asked.

“Oh, nothing. Just girl stuff.”, was my cryptic reply.

I grabbed my lunch bag off the counter and dashed out the door, racing him. Of course I didn’t have his speed or stamina, and certainly not his long legs, but I was comfortable with the girl I was becoming, at least for right now.

I arrived at first period, and looked around. Luna was sitting in the corner, head down. The Wilder twins were across the room, laughing. I walked over to Luna and asked her to lift her head up. Reluctantly, she did. I saw the split lip and what was going to turn into a big, ugly bruise. I looked over at Amy and May, who were making a point of looking away and whistling.

Angered, I walked up to them. “Oh look May, the flat girl is here.” Amy spat out at me, full of venom.

I looked at them both. “Yeah, yeah. I’m flat-chested. So what? More importantly, I saw what you did to Luna. You are both pathetic. You spent all that time around her, and you never learned what an amazing girl she is. Yeah, she’s small and meek-looking, but she is a lot braver than the two of you combined. Why the fuck do you think Marcia is in custody? Certainly not because of anything you two did. Luna put herself in danger to gather evidence against her. Including the evidence about how Marcia drugged you two. So be bitter at me all you want, hate me because you think I’m some sort of threat to whatever plans you have… but if I ever hear that you have even hinted that you will do something to Luna, I will kick your asses so hard, that you will wake up with the word ‘Nike’ imprinted on your internal organs.”

I walked back to my desk, with the sisters shooting me evil looks. The students that had walked in during my tirade all applauded me. I had to admit, that felt good. I felt my phone vibrate, and I looked down at it, as I held it in my lap. I had a text from Luna.

>>MEW MEW THX ^_^<<

I looked over at her and smiled. She smiled back, and it looked like it hurt. When Mr. Hedges came over, I asked to escort Luna to the Nurse’s office, explaining that she had “fallen down” in her rush to get to class.

He looked at us suspiciously, but issued the hall passes. I walked Luna to the office, and we made a stop at the school office. After telling Mr. Lewis and Officer Coleman, I took her to the nurse’s room. Leaving her there, I returned to class.

A little while later, a runner from the office stopped and requested the sisters report to Mr. Lewis’ office. They looked at each other, and then at me, and I could read the hate in their eyes.

Things were pretty quiet up until Lunch. I was sitting with DeShaun and Janie, as usual. Amy and May came over and sat across from us.

“Okay bitch, your little friend is safe from us, but we got detention because of you. We will get you back, when and how you least expect it.”, Amy said as she scowled at me. May stood behind her sister, looking around. Seeing that nobody was looking our way, she took a swing at me, only for DeShaun to move in front of me and block it.

“I would never hit a lady, but you two don’t act like ladies.”, he said, as he clamped his grip down on May’s hand, evidently causing her a lot of pain.

The sisters quickly retreated to the opposite end of the cafeteria, but we could still feel the glares radiating from that end of the room.

From then on, DeShaun escorted Janie and I to our classes. In thanks, we both gave him kisses on each cheek. Which invariably got a lot of “oooh’s” and “awww’s” from the gathered throngs.

The end of the day came soon enough. I walked home alone, as DeShaun had practice.

Arriving at home, I let myself in, and sat down at the dinner table, doing my homework. After a while, I felt stiff and sore. I put my books aside, and got down on the floor and did some stretching. It felt great, and when Mom came in, she commented on how limber I was. I was in the splits and stretched over and placed my hand on my toes, gaining an impressed look from Mom.

“Mom, I was thinking. Can we work out together? Janie and I had the idea that we might try out for the softball team this spring.”, I stated.

Mom looked at me curiously. “I’d love to work out with you and help you. But don’t feel that you have to do this because of some feeling of loss for your masculinity. After I changed, and I couldn’t play football, I struggled with my identity. Everyone was pushing me in all sorts of directions, but I had to find my path.”, she explained.

“I know Mom, and this isn’t that. It’s something that I genuinely want.”, I said.

Mom smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Go take a shower Casey, you are getting kind of sweaty”, she said.

I nodded and headed upstairs, happy to be me.

~o~O~o~

Questions, comments, concerns.. Love them all. drop one below!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 35

It was raining when I woke up. The sort of cold Autumn rain that washes away all the memories of the summer. I sighed and got dressed, throwing on some jeans and a cute hoodie. It was my first time out in any pants that weren’t a track suit or sweat pants. I looked in the mirror, and admired the fit. I could certainly see what people were talking about, when they said I had a ‘booty’. Still, I thought I looked hot, and I went downstairs with a smile on my face.

Mom offered DeShaun and I a ride, but I opted to walk instead. I grabbed an umbrella and my old raincoat. It was a little big on me, but I rolled the sleeves enough to make it work.

I entered first period, and sat down beside Luna. I looked over. She had covered up the black eye effectively, but the split lip was harder to do. I patted her on the back.

“It’s a shame that you got beaten up for their jealousy”, I said sympathetically.

“It’s not really your fault.”, she said. “When Marcia drugged Adam, and he became Amy, She lost football, which was going to be her ticket to popularity. May was going to to ride those coat-tails into the popular clique. With no way in, they are resorting to using their muscle to horn in on it. That’s why they are going after vulnerable new girls.”

I nodded. “I can see that.”, I replied. Then with a whisper, I leaned over. “Oh, and… it’s started to open.”, I told her.

She looked at me confused “Open?”

“You know.”, I said as I briefly glanced down.

“Oh…. OH!… Congratulations, gurrrrl.”, she said with a smile.

I blushed, and the teacher walked in. I shot a glance towards the twins, who were talking to that newly developing girl again.

“Still… I’d like yo know what those two are up to.”, I said.

Luna nodded her agreement and then said, “Me too.”

Class ended, and I headed off to my next class without incident. It seems that the twins were on their best behavior after getting detention. In fact, the rest of the day went off without a hitch.

I walked back home in the rain, splashing and having fun. DeShaun accompanied me, practice had been canceled because of the field conditions.

We arrived home, and after I fixed a snack, we started studying. I had finished most of my homework in Study Hall, so I was able to help him with his. After a bit, we took a break for a little smooching, then it was back to the books.

We finished around dinner time, and I fixed us both a light dinner. Dad came home earlier than expected. We knew Mom would be late due to there being a volleyball game she had to coach.

I jumped up and hugged him, but I could tell something was on. He looked serious.

“DeShaun, a letter arrived at the office for you. It was addressed to me as your legal guardian. It’s from Marcia. I’ll understand if you don’t want to read it, but here it is, if you do.”, he said in all earnestness.

DeShaun looked at the envelope that Dad had placed on the table. He sighed and reached for it. He opened the envelope and sat there reading for a couple minutes. Sighing, DeShaun put his head down and just kind of sat there.

“Is everything okay?”, I asked. DeShaun looked up and handed me the letter. I opened it up and read it out loud.

“Dear DeShaun, I know it must be difficult to receive this letter, but I felt that I had to write to make amends. The surgery to re-attach my tongue was successful, and it’s hoped that with enough time to heal, I’ll be able to eat solid foods again, and eventually, with therapy even speak again. I have been attending group sessions, and they have found some medications that are safe for the baby, and are helping me heal.

Speaking of the baby, I know that you are doubtful, and you have every right to be, but he is your son. I was never with anyone else. Enclosed in with this letter is a document that renounces any parental rights I have, and it also expresses my wish that my mother not be allowed any privileges or rights, and it states my wish that she not be allowed custody or the chance to adopt him. I apologize for everything I did to you. I hope you and Casey all the happiness you deserve. I know she has no reason to believe it, but I also am so sorry for what I did to Jane Bond. I can’t forgive myself for attacking her. I deserve to be here. I know she will never believe it, but I truly am sorry.

I don’t expect you to visit me, but if you find it in your heart to do so, I would welcome it.

Sincerely,

Marcia Hayes”

I put the letter down and sighed. I looked at DeShaun. “Do you believe her?”, I asked him, as I rubbed his slumped shoulders.

He raised his head and mumbled. “I don’t know.”, he said sadly.

We left the letter on the table, and went over to the couch and cuddled.

Mom came home, and I gave her a hug as she read the letter. I wandered upstairs to my room and called Janie.

“Hey gurrrl!, Luna said you are one of us now officially! Congrats!”, she said.

I sighed. “It’s not a big deal, it’s so small I can’t even get the3 tip of my pinkie in it.”, I retorted.

“Still, it’s a big deal. And I claim first rights to eating you out!”, she said cheerily. I choked on some saliva and ended up having a huge coughing fit.

“Janie, I have something to tell you. DeShaun got a letter from Marcia. She’s in therapy, and the letter said that she was sorry for what she did to you.”, I said cautiously.

There was silence over the line, and I waited. I heard sobbing.

“Janie, hold tight. I’ll be over as soon as I can!”, I said worried.

“No, I’ll be okay.”, she said in a feeble voice. I signed.

“You sure?”, I asked.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you at School tomorrow. I just need some alone time. Okay?”, she asked.

I nodded to myself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, lover.”, I said.

I hung up with Janie and laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Eventually I fell asleep.

Morning came, and I looked out the window. The rain was still falling, and everything seemed just a little bit duller, and more gray. That reflected in my mood, as I put on some light blue jeans, with a gray hoodie.

I headed downstairs to the table, everyone was already seated and eating cereal quietly. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

I looked around the table, then looked at Dad. “Daddy?”, I said. “Would it be okay if I went to see Marcia sometime?”

DeShaun looked up at me incredulously.”Why would you want to do that?”, he asked.

I looked over at him. His mouth was turned downward in a frown. “I… I guess I need to look her in the eye, and judge if she’s telling the truth.”, I said.

“Do as you want, but I’m not going with you if you do.”, He stated in no uncertain terms.

With that said, I finished my breakfast, grabbed some money from Mom for lunch, and grabbed the umbrella and raincoat.

I looked at the twins as I walked in, they were whispering again, and their glances would occasionally wander to me and to Luna. For our part, we just ignored it.

I looked to Luna. She had on a black dress with big poofy sleeves, and lace around the ends and the high collar. She had on a kitty hairband with ears and the usual belted faux cat tail.

“Luna, DeShaun got a letter last night… from Marcia. She apologized for everything, and renounced her rights to the baby. I… I’m thinking of visiting her at some point.”, I said.

Luna looked down at her desk. “I… I guess I better go with you then, when you do.”, she replied quietly.

I looked over at her. “But… why?”

She looked over at me and smiled. “Silly, because you are my Mistress, and Kitty has to protect you.”, she said with a grin.

I smiled back at her. I did notice though that May had been leaning closer, and listening in.

Lunch came around and I sat down in the normal spot, Janie to my left. DeShaun was late.

I rubbed Janie’s back, and she smiled at me. “When you go to see the Bitch, I’m coming with you.”, she said in a growling voice.

I nodded to her and took a bite of my sandwich. “I thought you might want to. Luna said she’s going to come too. DeShaun wants nothing to do with her.”, I said nonchalantly.

Speaking of the devil. He came running up, and gave each of us a kiss on the cheek before sitting to my right. “Sorry I’m late, I ran into Your Mom, and she wanted to talk to me.”, he said as he looked at me.

I tilted my head. “Nothing serious, I hope.”, I said looking back at him.

“She worries abut you, you know. Truthfully, I’m jealous.”, he replied.

“My mother wouldn’t ever say that. I had to be the dutiful son and do what Mom and Dad had me do. They would be so disappointed about the baby, and I’d be disinherited, for sure.”, he stated.

“Oh, if I got pregnant, I’d be in the doghouse, big time!”, I replied. I blushed, remembering DeShaun’s sexy chest and stomach and his omg big member.

“Yes, they would be disappointed, but they would support you. And they wouldn’t care if he was bi-racial. Mine, of course do.”, He frowned and looked down at his tray, poking at his lunch. Janie and I locked eyes and nodded to each other. She moved over to his other side, and we both gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Both of us rubbed his back, and we just sat there together, happy. I did notice some eyes on us across the cafeteria, but I did my best to ignore them.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, DeShaun stayed for improvised practice in the gym. I felt uneasy, as though I was being followed. I gave a casual glance back, sure enough May was stalking me from about a half a block back. I quickened my pace and got home fast. Dashing in through the door, I quickly shed my rain gear and umbrella. I headed upstairs and took a hot shower, warming up after the cold soaking I had gotten. Getting dressed in some lazy clothes, I flopped on the bed and did my homework. I glanced out the window, and I saw May out there still. Something wasn’t right. I drew my curtain, and slipped over to the guest room. Looking out that window, I saw her turn and head off.

Eventually the pounding in my chest stopped and I could catch my breath. I headed to my room again, and flopped down on the bed. I couldn’t concentrate on my homework. I was scared. Why did all these crazy people have it in for me?

~o~O~o~

Comments, questions, criticisms? Let me know below.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 36

I arrived at school in a huff. Having fallen asleep last night fully dressed, I was in a bad mood. And I knew who to take it out on. I walked into first period. Luna smiled at me and waved. I nodded back to her, and walked past, going right up to the offenders.

I got up in May’s face. “Listen, whatever popularity grab you think you need to make, do it. I don’t care. But following me home? Stalking me? That’s some Marcia-level shit. Don’t you fuck with me that way. You know what happened to her. You think I’m a threat to your grab for popularity? Puh-leez… I have my boyfriend, my best friend, and my new friend. that’s it! I’m not some popularity magnet.”, I yelled in her face and then walked to my seat next to Luna.

Luna looked at me. “They followed you home?”, She asked.

I nodded to her. “May did, at least.”

“I would be careful, if I were you. They might not be the sharpest tools in the shed, but they do have brute strength.”, she warned.

I did have to admit, this was true. In my transition to being a girl, I had lost what little upper body strength I had before. I had gained a lot of flexibility and agility though, which got me to thinking. I would have to stop and talk to Mom later. I had an idea.

As class went on, I noticed more eyes on me. Not just the trouble twins, but several boys looked at me, at least they still looked like boys. I knew at least one was early in her transition. It made me wonder. The game was tomorrow, and the Homecoming dance was scheduled for Saturday. They would likely make some sort of move then.

I would need to talk to DeShaun too. Why can’t life be easy?

First period ended and I headed off to English class. I sat down in my usual spot, and looked around. All the girls in class were pointedly NOT looking at me. Something was definitely suspicious. I would have to ask Janie about it at lunch. The teacher had not arrived yet, so I pulled out my phone and texted a quick message to Luna.

>>in class all grls ignore me. Suspct plot cnfrm?<<

I sent the message, and waited.

A few seconds later, Luna sent back a reply.

>MEW MEW will do.<<

After the bell rang, the class returned to normal, though I still felt uneasy. I waited through class, and departed as soon as the bell had rung.

After the same thing had happened during Math class, I was ready for the day to me over. I headed to lunch, and rendezvoused with Janie and DeShaun at our normal spots.

“Janie, have you noticed anything strange going on? I caught May Wilder following me home yesterday, and all the girls today are making a point of ignoring me extra hard. I think something is up. Have you seen anything strange?”, I asked between bites of my turkey sandwich.

“Now that you mention it, I have noticed some stink-eye cast in my direction, but I assumed that was more about my outfit.”, she responded.

I looked at her, with her hoodie unzipped and the low-cut of her tee, her lovely cleavage was certainly on display. Janie was certainly in a growth spurt. Having recently gone from a B-Cup to a C, she looked hot.

I laughed and went back to my food, glancing around the cafeteria. Normally, we would get a glance or two on occasion from some girl or another, but today it was clear that all the freshmen girl, and even a few of the newer sophomores, were trying not to. That raised my suspicions all the further.

After lunch, I swung by the gym, looking for Mom. She wasn’t there, so I headed for my next class. I hooked up with Janie on the way, and we casually observed things. In the halls all the girls gave us both wide berths, and seemingly ignored us. I glanced over as we entered class. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed George. He was looking around uneasily and appeared quite jumpy. I tugged on Janie’s sleeve, and then when she looked at me, I gave the head-nod gesture towards George.

Janie nodded back to me, and we entered the classroom. We went in, and the big chill was still in effect. Sitting at a table in the back, the two of us did our homework, and talked about George. It was agreed that Janie would meet me after class, and I would introduce him to her.

The rest of the day went pretty much as it had gone thus far, as girls pretended not to notice me, and ignored me when I tried to talk to them. Art class came at last. I sat next to George, and talked to him.

“How are you doing George?”, I asked in a gentle tone.

He looked at me and mumbled. “I’m fine. Thank you for helping me.”

I smiled. “It was no problem. I just happened to be there.” For the rest of the class George and I sat away from the others, the ignore was in full effect still, even in Art. We helped each other with our drawings. Well, he helped me. His talent was vastly superior. Still, I could see that he was shaking. He was putting on a brave face, but I could see the signs. I had lived with them, after the confusion with DeShaun. His must be ever so much worse, his torment had been intentional harm, not just a mistake.

Class ended and George got up to leave, but I asked him very politely to stay for a moment. He agreed reluctantly. That was when Janie arrived. I slipped behind her as she approached.

“George, this is my friend Janie.”, I said in a warm tone. George looked Janie over and then looked back at me.

“What’s this all about?”, he asked suspiciously.

I looked down and then looked at Janie. She nodded.

“Janie went through something very similar to what you did, and I thought it might be a good idea for you two to meet.”, I said cautiously.

George looked Janie up and down. I saw him swallow hard. “Maybe I should talk to someone about things.”, he said tentatively.

“Are you free right now?”, Janie asked. “If not, I can give you my number, and we can arrange to meet at a time and place of your choosing.”

“I… I have no plans.”, George said. “Would it be okay if you came over today? On the bus, I mean...” George asked in a quiet voice. “I… I haven't spoken to anyone about it, Mom is worried, I can tell.”

Janie smiled. “Sure, let me call home and let my Mom know what’s going on.”, she said as she pulled out her phone. “Casey, can you give the two of us some privacy? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I took the hint and walked over to the gym. Mom was watching the volleyball team working on their communication drills.

She saw me and walked over. “Hey Kiddo!’, she said. “If you are thinking of joining the team, you are a little late.”, she joked.

I looked up at her and smiled. “And a little short, too.”, I commented. “Actually Mom, with all the craziness and considering my new body and new looks… and all the danger I could get in, I’ve been thinking I might want to take some form of martial arts classes.”

Mom looked at me, then out at the team as they practiced. She called out to a girl, and walked over to help her with her form on her digs. After she finished that, she came back over to me, and spoke. “I think that might be a good idea, you taking a class, that is. As pretty as you are becoming, I know there might be some boy out there that might not want to hear ‘no’, and you also certainly have attracted your share of crazies.”

With DeShaun at Walk-through for the game tomorrow, I headed home. I kept my eyes open, but nobody was following me this time. I entered the house, and locked the door behind me. After grabbing an orange from the kitchen, I headed upstairs.

Laying down on the bed, I peeled the orange, and booted up my laptop. I began searching various forms of martial arts and self defense styles. After a while, I think I hit on one that would work for me.
I googled to see if there were any schools nearby that taught what I was thinking of. I got a half-dozen hits. Looking up each one, I did some research, and printed out their info.

I was finishing up my homework when I heard someone arrive home. I came down and Dad was putting his briefcase down by the door.

“Daddy!”, I squealed and wrapped him in a hug. I can’t help it. Ever since the change, I’ve been more and more a Daddy’s girl. I know that at first he was sad that he thought he had lost his son, and that I would spend more and more time with Mom, and less and less with him. While I was spending a lot of time with Mom, I made sure he knew I loved him equally.

“Daddy, Can I take kick-boxing class?”, I asked him as I hugged him. He hugged me back, then stepped back.

“What brought that up?”, He asked.

“I was thinking, is all. After all the issues with Marcia, and with Janie’s getting attacked and what happened to George Whitley, that I should learn some way to defend myself. I did some studying. With my flexibility, and my um… new proportions… that kick-boxing would suit me. And to demonstrate, I sat down on the floor and then proceeded to do a split.

After finishing, I stood back up and looked at him. Dad nodded and spoke. “Have you talked to your mother at all about this?”

I nodded. “I spoke briefly with her before I came home, but I hadn’t decided what sort of martial art I would take yet.”, I informed him.

Dad looked at me. “I will discuss this with your mother, but in my opinion, it’s a good idea.”

With that, Dad hugged me again, and gave me a peck on the cheek. “Thanks Daddy!”, I replied happily.

Mom and DeShaun were expected home late. I went up to my room, got changed into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top and did some stretching and testing of my body’s limits and flexibility.

I came down a few hours later. DeShaun had made himself a sandwich and was sitting on the couch. I slinked up to him, purring as he watched me move in my tight pants. “You are a sight for sore eyes, Sweetie.”, following that statement up with a kiss.

“Ick, your breath tastes like horseradish”, I joked, and then I lay down, my head in his lap. DeShaun smiled, and ran his fingers through my hair. He knew how much I loved that. “Where are Mom and Dad?”, I asked.

DeShaun nodded his head towards the office. “They went in and are looking at that list of martial arts schools that you gave him. Something going on that I should be aware of?”, he asked with noticeable concern in his voice.

I sighed. “Nothing you don’t already know.”, I stated. “Just thought it would be prudent to learn to stand up for myself if Thing One and Thing Two try anything.”

DeShaun nodded and continued stroking my hair, which quickly made me doze off.

~o~O~o~

Questions, comments, concerns? Let me know. I love hearing from my readers.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 37

I woke up on my bed. I remembered falling asleep on the couch with DeShaun. That sweetie of mine must have carried me up the stairs and put me here. Gotta love that.I wandered into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I climbed into bed and dreams of my strong, sweet man filled my head.

Morning came with no big fanfare. I pulled on some black leggings and cute white ankle socks. Rifling through the closet, I settled on a plain red tee. I passed Mom in the hall, and smiled at her. Running down the stairs, I arrived in the kitchen. Dad and DeShaun were at the table, looking at the paper. Dad looked up at me and frowned.

“I hope you aren’t going to school in that.”, Dad said with a dis-approving tone.

I sighed. “What’s wrong with this?”, I asked.

“You have something far better that you can wear, rather than just a t-shirt. Go change right now.”, he exclaimed.

I sighed and got up, going back upstairs. When I reached my door, I gasped. Mom’s Jersey was hanging from the know on a hanger, with a note.

I grabbed the note and read it.

“My Dearest Casey. You are the light of my life, and the most precious achievement. You are that which I am most proud of. None of my sports accomplishments mean 1% of what you mean to me. I would be ever so proud to have my little girl wear my heirloom from my time at school. This is yours now. Cherish it, and hand wash it. :P
Happy Early Birthday,

Love Mom.”

I picked up the jersey and took it off the hanger. Slipping it on, it fit like a dress, and looked good over the leggings. I heard a throat clear behind me, and turned. Mom was standing there with tears in her eyes. I leaped up and wrapped my arms around her, she hugged me and held me up, off the ground.
I kissed her cheek, and then she kissed mine. We smiled and headed down to breakfast.

Arriving back in the kitchen, DeShaun stood up and came over giving me a hug and a discreet kiss on the cheek. (Mom and Dad were watching, after all).

“I know your birthday isn’t until Tuesday, but we thought you might want to wear that to the game, and the bonfire tonight.”, Mom said, still wiping tears away.

I sat down and very carefully ate breakfast. As was tradition on game day, DeShaun had his jersey on a well. After we finished, Mom grabbed her keys, and we all headed to the car.

I arrived at first period, and Luna saw me and smiled. “Oh wow.”, she said with glee. “Your own personalized jersey. That’s so cool!”

I laughed, even though I was also aware that I was getting a couple evil-eyes from across the room.

“No silly, This was my Mom’s jersey from when she went here.”, I was given her maiden name for my first name.

“Oh, okay… I suppose that makes more sense.”, she chuckled. We both had a good laugh about that.

Luna looked over at me and in a hushed voice, she whispered. “You okay? I know for some it’s difficult to face the first month anniversary...”

I cut her off with a hug. “I’m fine. It’s surreal to think that it’s October 5th, already. It seems like the rut was longer than a month ago. Of course, all things being equal… I’d still rather be a boy. But I have gained some precious things to me from the change. One of which is a good friend (and awesome kitty).” I looked at Luna, and I laughed.

She giggled and mewed at me. All the while, the Wilders stared at me, with that look of hate.

The day progressed, and classes passed all too slowly.

Lunch came at last. Janie and I met at the usual spots, with DeShaun arriving shortly after. Janie looked at Mom’s jersey and smiled.

“Your Mom really gave you her old jersey?”, she asked.

I nodded. “I know my birthday isn’t until Tuesday, but she wanted me to have it early.”

DeShaun leaned over and kissed my cheek. “It looks good on you, too.”, he said affectionately.

“Lair.”, I said with a giggle. Yes, I’ve been conscious that I’ve been giggling more. “I’m practically swimming in it.”

“Still, looks kinda sexy”, he said.

Janie gave me a once-over look, and licked her lips. “Agreed.”

Changing the subject, I looked over to Janie. “How did things go with George?”, I asked.

She looked at me. “I think we got to him in time. He told me that he’d been severely depressed. And he’s scared about the change.”

“Damn.”, I said. “I had hoped that he hadn’t been triggered, though with all the blood I saw, I guess that was wishful thinking.”

Janie nodded. “He’s taking that hard, and his parents were kind of in denial about it. I sat them down and talked to them too. I told them about… what I went through, and how alone I felt. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mom and Dad dearly. But after I tried to kill myself, they didn’t know how to respond. That’s why they sent me to that clinic. It helped me, but I suggested that it might not be the best for everyone. I think that hearing my story kind of woke them up. They are going to schedule therapy sessions both for Georgia, and for the whole family.”, she said as she looked at her sandwich with a melancholy look.

“So he decided on Georgia?”, I asked.

“Yeah. I think the new name kind of make it more real for him, and not an abstract thing that is looming off in the not too distant future. I know it did for me.”, she replied, before taking a bite of her lunch.

I nodded in agreement. I thought about my own trauma. One month ago, September 5th. I looked over at DeShaun, then over at Janie.

Janie caught my gaze. “Don’t think I forgot. It’s your anniversary. Although I’m not sure what exactly you give for this one.”, she said with a smirk.

I laughed, and looked over at DeShaun, who was pretending not to be paying attention. That boy is up to something.

The day rolled on slowly. Everyone was waiting for 7th period. There was a pep rally scheduled for then in the gym. Typically, non-sports fans and the like would take the opportunity to duck out of school early, but as a football girlfriend, it was my “sworn duty” to be there for my man. Yes, I know that sounds so totally girly, but as has been pointed out to me several times today, that’s what I became a month ago.

I shuffled into the gym, and looked around. I spotted Janie, and went over and sat beside her. She gave me a hug, and we held hands as we waited for the show to start. I should probably explain, but in Eden Prairie, football is a big deal. Our long time coach, Coach Grant is the son of an NFL Hall of Fame head coach, and not only trips to the state finals demanded, they are expected.

Janie and I sat there, watching as the cheerleaders entered, doing back-flips and somersaults and cartwheels. Hmmm… I wonder if I can do those with my flexibility? I briefly entertained trying it in the backyard later, but the possibility of breaking my neck quickly removed that thought from my mind. I watched the cheer girls, there had been an uproar when Marcia had been hauled in. Several girls had quit, including the Senior Captains. Apparently Marcia had strong-armed her way up the ranks, with the assistance of her mother’s money, no doubt. With her gone, some left because she had ruined the activity for them, but she had scared them into staying.

Coach Grant and his assistant coaches came out next, and gave a speech about the winning tradition at the school, and about the life lessons he had learned from his father, and the lessons of fair play and hard work that he tried to instill in the team members. When he concluded, the lights were lowered and the marching band played the school fight song. The lights were then brought up as the band continued.

One by one, the reserves were announced, and then with a big cheer, the coach moved on to the starters. I cheered and hollared as DeShaun’s name was announced, and he came walking out. Janie Joined me, and we whistled and yelled and cheered the loudest. (Well, in my opinion, at least)

Once the entire team was announced, the band started playing various songs as we all clapped along.
After the rally ended, DeShaun came over and gave us both kisses, Janie’s on the cheek, and mine on the lips. I didn’t mind, as appearances had to be kept, and even though we had both made special promises to him, She knew that I was his girlfriend, and she was okay with that. Besides, I think that she and Luna might be getting a little more serious. Oh, what a bizarre foursome are we.

The game was scheduled for 7:00PM, so we had plenty of time until then. DeShaun and the rest of the team had to stay together for ceremonies and game planning and guy stuff. Yes, I know I’m not that removed from it, but yet I am.

Janie and I had returned to my house, and we both sat on the couch. I nestled into her arms and just drifted off into my own thoughts. Increasingly, I thought about how foreign I was to myself now. I tried to think back to things I enjoyed and prioritized as a boy, and a lot of it seemed alien to me now. Oh, I still enjoyed sports and video games, and the things that were big parts of my world then, but other things had crept in. I enjoyed sitting here, feeling the closeness with Janie. I actually liked shopping now. (Gasp!)

I know that when the change comes over you, your hormones change, neural pathways reconfigure, and in a very real sense, you become another person. Still, reflecting on it was unnerving. Then there was the whole sex thing. I had been a typical boy. I loved the tits, I loved the ass. I was 100% a straight male. Then the Rut happened, and I was drawn to him, to my opposite. And even after the rut had completed, I was attracted to him. The firmness of his pecs, those muscular arms that held me, that delicious 6 pack he was starting to develop. And most of all, that huge, wonderful cock of his.

It took me a while to realize, it wasn’t just him. I lingered over those sexy underwear ads, no, not Victoria’s Secret… those hot Calvin Klein guys. It’s a bit jarring to realize that you’ve changed sexuality. I do admit that I still am attracted to Janie and to Luna, they are both sexy to me, but I have also noticed that other girls are doing it for me less and less. It’s scary. But right this second, I wouldn’t change a thing. (Granted, in 6-7 weeks, when I’m swearing at DeShaun for making me have to suffer through the bloating, cramps, and bleeding. I’ll probably feel differently.) But I know in my heart that I’ll still be head over heels for him.

~o~O~o~

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 38

I sat next to Janie, watching the teams warm up. I hugged her and asked a question. “Where’s Luna?”

Janie took a sip from her coke and looked towards the field. “She didn’t come. She said something about ‘Not understanding the point of sportsball’, but I think that the real reason is that her father might have tried to push her into athletics when she was a boy. I suspect she was beaten for failing at it.”, she said sadly.

I looked down at the field, watching DeShaun jogging between the yard lines. I was glad that my parents encouraged me to do whatever I wished to do, and didn’t pressure me into what they felt I should do. DeShaun had gone along with it, and still liked sports, but Luna shunned them. Two sides of a coin.

DeShaun looked up towards the stands, and I stood up and waved. Janie Did likewise, and Deshaun waved back. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the twins looking at me with disdain and downright hatred. Amy must particularly be angry. She was DeShaun’s rival coming up through grade school, and I’m sure she felt anger at the fact she was in the bleachers, while he was out there on the field.

Warm-ups concluded, and after the marching band played the national anthem, the team captains met at mid field for the traditional hand shake.

With the game about to start, I sidled up closer to Janie, and snuck some of her popcorn. DeShaun took the opening kick-off and got up to the 35 yard line. I cheered and snuggled a little closer to Janie, who snuggled back. We took out a small blanket and wrapped it around us. I kept an eye on the twins, who were several rows in front of us. I could see Amy’s glare at DeShaun, but at the same time, I noticed a tear was trickling down her cheek. It must be hard for her to watch. May was looking around, and she looked back and locked gazes with me. She gave me an evil glare, and rubbed her sister’s back, before whispering in her ear.

I watched as on their first possession, our team failed to get a first down, despite DeShaun having gotten open twice. With the fill-in linemen buckling, Brad had to scramble for his life. After the punt, the St. Michael-Albertville offense marched down the field and scored a touchdown, leaving us behind 7-0 early.

I watched the game, and kept an eye on the twins at the same time. Amy was still trying to cover up the tears, and every now and then May would turn and give me the evil eye, even going so far as to do the ‘finger slashing across the throat’ gesture. I frowned and got back to watching the drama on the field, instead of the drama in the stands.

DeShaun took the kick-off following the score, and thanks to some great blocking, he made it all the way down to the opponent’s 35 yard line before being caught. On first down the running back was caught for a 5 yard loss in the backfield. Things got worse when there was a bad snap, and Brad was sacked for a loss of 10 yards. On 3rd and 25, we caught a break, as the St.Michael-Albertville cornerback committed pass interference, holding DeShaun’s arm. With a new set of downs, We managed to get down into scoring range as Brad connected with a senior Tight-end and got the ball down to the 10 yard line.

I hollered and cheered, looking at DeShaun as he lined up outside. A little miss-direction weak side screen to the fullback looked like it was going to end in a loss of yardage, but a great block by DeShaun on the outside got us down to the 3 yard line. Brad ran a QB option play, faking the handoff, and following the blocking into the end zone. With the extra point, we managed to tie the game up. For the rest of the first quarter both teams went back and forth, neither team allowing a score. DeShaun caught 3 passes during that quarter, and ran up a total of 45 yards.

In between quarters, the cheerleaders did a tumbling act along the sidelines. I watched them, Surely I could do that, I was getting more comfortable with my new shape and new-found flexibility.
Janie had taken the opportunity of the quarter break to run down to the restrooms. I noticed a minute later that May had also vanished from the stands.

I watched as Janie came back up the aisles of the bleachers. She seemed no worse for wear. She quickly arrived and handed me a Dr. Pepper and some french fries. I put my arm around her, which got a glare from the newly returned May.

“Did May try anything?”, I asked. “I noticed that she got up and left soon after you did.”

Janie sipped her own drink through the straw she was fiddling with. “It wasn’t a big deal, she tried to scare me away from you and DeShaun, but backed off when I asked her how it’d look if she bullied the girl that Marcia had brutalized. I further inquired to her that it’d be unfortunate if anyone learned that she played a small part in that affair.” Janie chuckled and went back to her drink.

I looked down at the pair, May had her arm around Amy, who was still glaring angrily at DeShaun, all the while tears flowed down her face. If not for the creepy stalking and harassment, and physical and emotional abuse, I could … ALMOST feel sorry for her.

I cast my gaze back to the field, where the 2nd quarter was beginning. The opposing team had the ball at our 45 yard line. They hit on a big pass that brought them down to our 7. DeShaun was lined up at safety, covering their leading receiver. In a highly suspicious play, their receiver ran a crossing route, and DeShaun got pancaked by tight end, springing their player for the touchdown. With the extra point, they now lead 14-7.

Deshaun once again took the kick-off, but was downed at our 25 yard line. Brad dropped back to pass, but was hit hard, and dropped at the 9 yard line for a sack, and a huge loss. More importantly, He didn’t get up on his own. The paramedics on site looked him over, and he was walked off the field.

There was a round of applause for Brad, and DeShaun started to warm up his throwing arm. With Brad out, he was the back-up QB, and would have to go under center. With his first pass play, he was rushed, but managed to get the ball out on a screen to the fullback. There was some chippy tackling going on, and a flag for a late hit.

I watched, scared. Intellectually I knew that he would be okay, but emotionally I was a wreck. I thik Janie sensed this and gave me an extra-firm hug. I had played football before, not organized play, mind you. Still I knew what it was like to get hit and tackled. I watched the game nervously as DeShaun hung back in the pocket, dodging huge boys intent on squishing my cupcake. Wait… Did I just call him ‘my cupcake’…? Damn girliness.

DeShaun dodged and threw downfield for a long pass, which was hauled in at the 9 yard line. After a False start penalty and a run for no gain, Deshaun was forced to scramble for his life as a blitz required him to run. He was tackled at the 1 yard line, and Coach Grant opted to kick a field goal. With St. Michael-Albertville up 14-10, both teams held their ground until halftime.

At Halftime, I got up and ran to the bathroom. Damn it. If I were still a boy, I could be in and out quickly. But with peeing standing up no longer an option, I had to wait in the long line for the women’s room. * sigh*

After I finally got done, and had washed my hands, I headed out of the restroom, and back towards the stands. As I exited though, I felt a hard bump, and was knocked to the ground. Amy stood over me, her fists clenched tight.

I looked up at her. “What?”, I said defiantly.

She seethed and as I got back up, she drew back as though to hit me. That is until the bathroom door opened and a tall blonde woman walked in. I saw who it was, and did a double take.

“Is there a problem here, Miss Wilder?”, the teacher asked.

Sheepishly, Amy looked down at the floor. “No Coach, nothing wrong. Just bumped into this girl accidentally.”, she muttered.

I looked at Mom, and then looked at Amy Wilder. Hmmm.

Mom spoke up. “Okay Amy, the second half will be starting soon. You might want to get back to your seat. I will see you at practice on Monday.”

With that, Amy rushed off. Mom turned and gave me a gentle hug.

“What was that about Mom?”, I asked.

Mom replied.“Amy is on the volleyball team. I know she’s been hassling you and Janie, but I don’t think she’s made the connection between you and I. It might be best if you keep that secret, as she might be more cautious and stealthy with her attempts to cause you problems.”

I looked at Mom. It made sense. We might both have the same last name, but other than some superficial features, I don’t really look too much like her. Besides being a half a foot taller than me, there is the fact of her more Nordic looking features and hair color, whereas I gained Dad’s darker eyes and hair. And certainly, as you know… Mom is well… big in the chest, where I’m so not at all.

Heading back up to the stands, I sat down by Janie. “My Mom is here.”, I said casually.

Janie craned her head around, looking. “I don’t see her.”, Janie replied, as she put her arm back around me, under the blanket we were sharing.

“I think she’s over at the concession stand.”, I remarked.

“I didn’t see her there, but I really wasn’t looking”, Janie commented.

We turned out attention back to the field, as the opposing team took the kickoff for the second half. Going back and forth down the field, both defenses tightened up, and the third quarter was scoreless.
As the 3rd quarter ended, I glanced down at the Wilders. They had been watching the game intently, and ever since the run-in with Mom, they hadn’t so much as glanced back at Janie and I.

The score held through the fourth quarter, both teams playing stifling defense. With just over 2 minutes left, DeShaun intercepted a pass deep in our territory, and ran it back to the 50 yard line. Time was running out. Taking the ball in the shotgun formation, Deshaun pumped and threw a Hail Mary which was caught on a deflection by one of the senior receivers. With 35 seconds, the receiver stepped out of bounds at the 6 yard line.

Deshaun called a quick pass down to the two yard line, where the receiver was downed and Coach
Grant quickly took a time out with 4 seconds left on the clock. DeShaun took the snap and following his blockers, he dove across the goal line as time expired. Janie and I stood up and cheered like crazy.

The final score was Eden Prairie 16, St. Michael-Albertville 14.

~o~O~o~

Yay for sportsball! Any Questions, comments, concerns? let me know!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 39

It was time for people to start gathering for the bonfire. I headed off to the site, a grass-less patch of dirt in a field near the soccer area. I was looking around for Janie, when someone beside me spoke and made me jump.

“You here along gorgeous?”, they said. I spun around and glared at them.

“How do you do that?”, I asked.

Luna giggled and gave me a hug. “Never underestimate the goth ninjas.”, she exclaimed.

I looked over at her. “No, really...”

She shrugged. “One of the perks of being small and unobtrusive.”

“But you are only 2 inches shorter than I am now.”, I questioned.

“Ah, but you still think you are as tall as you used to be. You were what? 5’7”, or so?”, she asked.

“Yeah, about that.”, I said.

“Yeah, but I’ve always been small. So I have had practice in being the small, quiet one that nobody notices. How do you think I get away with dressing like this, and not have people focus on me? I’m an expert at not commanding attention, I’m not a threat, I’m not dynamic. I’m just little and unimportant to others.”, she said.

I looked at her. She was standing there in petticoats and had on a cinched corset dress and puffy sleeves, long gloves, Mary Jane shoes, and her signature goth headband, in addition to the parasol she was carrying. It was true that she should be standing out, but yet she really didn’t.

“Oh Sensei, teach me your ways”, I said with a smirk.

“It would take you a thousand years, you can not be my student”, she said in a mock wise-man voice.

We both laughed and looked around for Janie. Eventually seeing her, we headed over towards her.

“Hey Sweetie, when did you get here? I didn’t think you would be coming”, she directed to Luna.

“I heard that the sportsball was over, so I came down to be with you for the fire… I like fire”, she said in a well-practiced darkly cute voice.

We all laughed and got our spots towards the outside of the crowd. Janie had the blanket from earlier, and spread it out. It was larger than I had initially thought, and the three of us sat down and waited.

I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

A few minutes later, my phone buzzed, ad I looked at it. “DeShaun says he’ll be here in about 10 minutes or so. He just finished washing up, and is getting changed.”, I informed Janie and Luna.

Sure enough, after a few minutes, I saw DeShaun walking over, he was wearing a Hoodie with the school logo on it, and a pair of black sweatpants and dark sneakers. I waved him over, and motioned for him to sit between Janie and I. He did so, and both of use leaned in against him, while Luna maneuvered herself over and put her head in Janie’s lap.

It was early yet, as the sun hadn’t set. I saw Mom walking around, checking on various students, and talking to people. I noticed that the Wilder sisters were on their own blanket, looking around, occasionally glancing at us and scowling. They knew better than to try anything at the bonfire though, as there were teachers roaming around.

DeShaun looked at Janie, as she cuddled against him, and then Luna in her lap, then back to me cuddled against him on the other side. “Far be it for me to complain, but I’m confused. What exactly are we all doing, and what is going on? It seems that you girls have some sort of thing worked out, can I be let in on it?”, he pleaded.

I looked at DeShaun, and snickered. “It’s really quite simple.”, I explained. “You are my boyfriend, and Janie is my best friend and Luna is… well, Luna is sort of my pet.”

Janie interrupted. “OUR pet.”

“Yes, our pet. Sorry. Anyhow, we all love each other, and are attracted to each other. That might be difficult to understand, but between us three, it somehow works.”, I stated.

Janie looked up from her petting Luna’s hair. “At first, I was jealous of your relationship with Casey. To me, it wasn’t fair that you got to have someone so wonderful to be yours, and I got a bullying rapist. But I got to know you, and became your friend. Sure, I was disappointed by the thing with Marcia, but I know that she played you. After a while, I realized I’m attracted to you as well.”, She said with a very noticeable blush spreading on her cheeks.

I smiled and nodded to Janie. She took notice, and leaned in and gave the very shocked DeShaun a very intense kiss. I looked over, and looked him in the eye. “I love you, and I trust you. If you ever want to be intimate with Janie, you officially have my blessing. I know we’ve tip-toed around it, joked about it, and said it to embarrass you… but I mean it. Although, I do have one request. Before anything happens between you two, I want to be with you first. I’m nearly ready, physically… and I’m MORE than ready mentally.”, I confessed.

Luna looked up from Janie’s lap and giggled. “Wow, kinky.”, she said laughing.

I looked over at her. “Don’t laugh, pet. I’d extend the same to you, if I thought you were interested.”

Luna blushed and mumbled something. She sat up, and leaned back against Janie, her pale cheeks quite red.

I looked over at Luna. “Oh, don’t tell me...”, I sighed.

She blushed and hid her face.

“Okay, okay. Ground rules. DeShaun, if you have sex with anyone but Janie, Luna, or I… I will skin you alive, and nail your balls to the wall as a trophy. That being said, DeShaun, you knock either of them up, same outcome.”, I stated, exasperated.

DeShaun, for his part swallowed hard and looked around at all three of us.

Luna still had her face hidden, as she had turned and buried it in Janie’s chest. For her part, Janie was smirking and looking at both DeShaun and I in a predatory manner.

The Sun went down, and the Fire Department lit the bonfire. Principal Lewis came up and stood in front, as the flames started. “Congratulations to our boys for their dramatic win! First of all, I have heard from his parents, Brad Cousey is okay, he suffered a severe ankle sprain, but nothing is broken.”, the principal announced.

There were cheers and shouts, notably from a cluster of seniors towards the back.

The Principal cleared his throat and continued. “Secondly, I’d like to give a big round of applause to DeShaun McAllister, for his heroics, not only as a receiver, but also playing in the secondary7 and filling in at Quarterback when Brad was injured.”

Janie, Luna, and I all stood up and cheered, joining most of the students present. DeShaun stood up and took a bow.

Principal Lewis clapped along, and then introduced the student council president. She was a senior, tall and lanky, with braces and long blonde hair. She cleared her throat and began. “Thank you Principal Lewis! I’ll try to keep it brief. As you know, this week we had a ballot put out during home room for the Homecoming Court. I have the results here. Can I get a drum roll please?”

DeShaun, Luna, Janie and I all looked at each other questioningly, apparently none of us had heard anything about a vote of any kind. Before we could ask the question though, the president continued. “The senior class Homecoming King and Queen are James Lowell and Marcie Hilldebrandt. Marcia and James, if you are here...please stand up!”

I looked around and saw a rather tall, muscular boy and a beautiful brown haired girl that were together stand up.

“Next, we have the Junior Prince and Princess Paul Diamondt and Julie Ling! Paul and Julie are you here?”, the girl asked, to which a stocky rugged boy and thin girl stood up and waved.

The Council President continued. “The Sophomore Prince and Princess are Michael Wattinger and Darcy Sloane! Are you out there? Michael and Darcy?”, she asked. A petite blonde girl and a large hulking boy stood up and waved.

“Finally, we have the Freshman Prince and Princess, and in a school first, the first ever unanimous choices! Please stand up DeShaun McAllister and Amy Wilder!”, the President called out.

Stunned DeShaun stood up, and I looked around, and saw Amy also standing. I caught a brief glare from her, and a smirk.

The Council President droned on after that, about a parade tomorrow before the dance, but by that time, Janie Luna, and I were no longer listening.

“How the hell did they pull that off?” I asked, enraged.

Janie scratched her head. “I have no idea, but I sure as hell want to know too.”

Luna was looking around. “I never heard anything about a vote in my home room, and obviously none of you did either.”

By that point, things were pretty depressing, and so I waved Mom over. “Mom, we are going back to the house, none of us are really in the mood for celebrating anymore.”, I said.

“I understand sweetie. I am curious about the vote though. I would have thought that you would have been nominated.”, she said, perplexed.

We explained the situation to her, about how none of us had even known there was a vote going on, and that nobody had said a thing to any of us about it.

Mom kissed my forehead, and promised to talk to the Principal.

We all got up and after folding up the blanket, we prepared to leave.

As we started off though, Amy Wilder approached, her sister shadowing her. “DeShaun! DeShaun! isn’t it exciting? You and I were chosen together!” She said, seemingly ignoring my presence.

“I don’t know how you did it, but savor your victory now.”, Janie warned her. “You won’t get the better of us again.”

“Oh, but I already have!”, Amy sneered. “I get to ride in the convertible beside DeShaun, I get to dance with DeShaun.”

I stepped forward, but DeShaun blocked me. “Casey, don’t. We don’t need the trouble, and she’s not worth it.”

We all walked back to my house, and as soon as we were in, I broke out in tears. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t. All these girls that hated me. I didn’t ask for this. I was led to the couch, and I flopped down. Janie and DeShaun sat on either side of me, gently holding me.
Luna took off my shoes and rubbed my feet, as I gave in and started to sob uncontrollably. Dad came in and Luna went over to talk to him. She was probably explaining what happened. He headed to his office. Leaving us alone. I felt Luna resume her foot rub, and I melted like butter.

I sat there, broken, as my loves all took care of me. Each one kissing my cheek, and consoling me. After a while, DeShaun carried me upstairs. My girls followed me up. Eventually Mom came home, and came to check on me. Janie and Luna let go of me, and Mom walked me to the bathroom. She hugged me, and helped me get into my pajamas, though I barely recall her doing so. When that was done, She carried me back to my room and laid me back on the bed, where Janie and Luna wrapped me up in hugs.

~o~O~o~

Comments, Questions, ideas? Let me know.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 40

Janie and Luna pressed in against me as I lay there crying. It was devastating to think of the scope of this treachery. How had they done it? I sobbed uncontrollably into Luna’s hair. (Sorry Kitten)

Janie peeled herself from my side, and took DeShaun’s hand and led him away, outside the room.

Thinking that I couldn’t hear, she spoke. “DeShaun, we all know you love her, but let us handle things for now, When a girl gets the ‘weepies’, it takes other girls to help them though it.”

DeShaun spoke in a perplexed voice. “Weepies? Huh?”

Janie sighed and explained to him. “When a girl gets close to the end of their outward physical transformation, their hormones spike, causing them uncontrolled mood swings, usually bouts of crying and weeping. We call these the ‘Weepies’, and It’s apparent that that’s where we are. So let us take care of her. Be there for her still, but know that we know what it’s like, so we’ll take the lead.”

“Okay.”, DeShaun said in a dejected voice.

I heard his tone and bawled into Luna’s hair more, at least until I heard the next thing Janie said. “Don’t worry though, you’ll like what comes after… We call those the ‘hornies’… heh.”

I heard DeShaun cough and walk off towards his room.

Janie came back in and snuggled back against me, allowing Luna the opportunity to go wash her hair.

Eventually, I calmed down enough to stop crying. With my girls cuddled against me, I was feeling better.

“So… weepies, huh?”, I said quietly. Janie and Luna looked me in the face, and both kissed a cheek.

“Yeah, when I got them, I didn’t have anyone for support. I laid in bed, curled in the fetal position for hours… crying that Anthony was gone. I still miss him.”, Luna confessed.

Janie related her tale. “Mine were particularly bad. At the therapy center, they put the girls on suicide watch when they start their weepies. We were partnered with another girl at all times for emotional support. I was partnered with a girl named CeeCee, who had been molested by her brother. She supported me when I would cry about the rape. We got each other through it.”

I sighed. I was sad, but I know that I was lucky. Luna lost the boy she loved, and Janie… well yeah. That was bad. Eventually, I felt good enough to let them both up to change. This time, I didn’t leave the room, I didn’t turn away. I watched. I had already seen Janie naked, obviously. Luna was more attractive than I had thought. She was so small, and slender but not childish at all. She had subtle curves, and small, but pert breasts. I purred as I watched, and she noticed me looking and blushed.

When they both had gotten dressed in their pajamas, they laid down with me again, and we cuddled more.

It was Luna that spoke first. “I… I… Miss Casey, thank you for saying that I was allowed to be with DeShaun, but I don’t think that’d happen. I’m too shy about boys...”

I giggled. “You? You were so straightforward when you said you wanted to be our pet.”, I said as I reached over and started to rub her breasts through her pajama shirt. She moaned and blushed.

“Please Mistress, no more. Get me too worked up and I’ll get all flustered because I can’t eat you out yet.”

I heard Janie giggle from my other side. “Don’t worry little one. Your mistresses won’t tease you, unless you want to be teased. Someday you’ll get to feel what it’s like with a boy, it’s so wonderful. There is no other experience to compare it to, except pure bliss.”

I blushed, knowing who Janie was referring to.

“So, what’s it like, I mean as a boy?”, Luna asked curiously.

I turned my head. “You never played with it?”, I asked her.

Bit her lip and turned red. “No… I… I… I was not very big, and I was resigned that I’d be a girl eventually, so I never...” she said, in a quiet voice.

I looked at Janie, then turned to kiss her. “It’s intense.”, I said. “You feel aroused and hard, working harder and harder, feeling the pressure build up and up filling it, and building up til it hits critical mass, and explodes into orgasm. It focuses at your dick and then washes through your body with such intensity that when it his your head, you feel giddy and light headed.”

Janie purred. “I’m glad I made you cum.” she said wickedly.

I licked her nose. “Each and every time.”, I replied.

Luna bit her lip and pouted. “I’m jealous that you got to have sex as a boy, and even more jealous that it was with Mistress Janie.”

I turned and hugged Luna, who had an adorable pout on her face. “No fair… nobody can resist the Luna cute pout.”, I said with a laugh.

Luna giggled, and laughed. And when She closed her eyes, I went for it. I kissed her on the lips passionately, more passionate then I had ever kissed her before. She blinked for a second, and kissed back more passionately, parting her lips. As I kissed her, I worked my hand up, and lifted off her pajama top. Exposing her breasts. She whimpered as I broke the kiss, and started to lick her cheek, then her neck. I moved down collarbone slowly, before going downward. I flicked my tongue across her small nipple, before gently taking it in my teeth. I licked it in earnest. Swirling my tongue around it clockwise, then counter. I let go with my teeth, placing my lips over the breast. I began to suck at her tit, causing her to slowly moan.

Janie turned and spooned against me, cupping my flat chest, and grinding her pelvis against my big ol’ ass. I heard her moaning quietly, and knew she was turned on.

As I played with Luna, Janie started to nibble my earlobe. I felt an itch in my breath, and a slight moistness from my tiny slit. Soon.. I couldn’t wait.

Panting quietly, I stripped Luna’s pajama bottoms off, and as I began to run my fingers over her hairless mound, I felt her desire, and I felt Janie’s.

I whispered to them both quietly. “Please, it’s time.”

Janie purred quietly in my ear as she pulled my tee over my head, exposing my chest. I felt Luna’s deft fingers at the drawstring of my shorts. Soon we were all naked. I pressed my immature pussy up against Luna’s small, flat ass as I fingered her gently. I slipped a finger into her, then two. She moaned and bit her lip. All the while Janie was grinding on my bubble butt, and pressing her large boobs into my back, rubbing them against it.

We quietly pleasured each other, my fingering. Luna and playing with her breasts. Janie was pinching my tits, and rubbing my clit. I was too small to enter yet, but she stroked my small opening with her fingers, making me wetter and wetter. I felt a feeling creeping through my body, tingling, building in intensity. I bit down on a blanket to keep from shouting out. That was when I had my first female orgasm, and that was quickly followed by another. As I panted hard, I felt Luna having hers. Shortly followed by Janie’s. When we were all done, we collapsed in a big, tired sweaty sex-ball.

I gently nudged Luna. “You go take the first shower, Kitten.”, I told her.

She nodded and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around that sexy-cute body.

After she left, I leaned over and kissed Janie. “Love you. You take the next shower.”, I said. She nodded and snuggled against me.

After Luna had returned, I waited for Janie to return, then went off to take my shower. As I lathered up the soap, I blushed thinking about it. I had had my first female orgasms, and after I toweled off, I looked at myself in the mirror. My Clit had finally shrunk down to average size, and without inspecting, I looked fully female. Only examining closely would show that my vagina was still too small for even my pinkie to fit in.

I wrapped the towel around myself and headed back to the bedroom. Luna and Janie parted, allowing me back in between them. I was so happy to have such wonderful friends and lovers that I began to tear up.

Janie noticed. “The weepies are back. Kitten, commence operation: cuddle!”, she said.

With a giggle, Luna replied “Roger!”, and I was once again wrapped up in hugs.

We all drifted to sleep, laying there naked in a big comfy bundle.

Morning came, and we quietly got up and got dressed in our casual clothes, then headed down for breakfast.

DeShaun and the parents were already at the table, eating. We sat down, me with DeShaun to my left, and Janie to his right. Luna was on her other side.

Dad sat there with his newspaper up, covering his face, he spoke. “Girls, I know you three have a strong and … unique relationship. I’m not against it, so long as you are all comfortable with it… but for the sake of dealing with your parents and guardians… I’d like some deniability, so if you could please keep it down next time?”

We all blushed, and looked down at our laps, With DeShaun looking at each of us in turn and then looking away.

Mom put her hand out across the table, and onto mine. “Dear, I know it’s hard. I remember when I went through the weepies, myself. I’m just glad you have a good support system in place.”, she said.

After breakfast We went into the living room and watched some movies. We had time before we had to get dressed for the dance. DeShaun, however had Homecoming duties as the Freshman Prince, so He got ready early. After Mom reminded him to make sure his tux was ready and hanging in the bag in his room for when he came back, he left. He had on his freshly washed jersey and some jeans.

There was some sort of meet and greet and walk-through for the parade. It was a beautiful Autumn day, the forecast was for a high of 65 degrees, and sun. I went upstairs first, and get changed into a cute light blue sundress, and had my school logo hoodie with me, for if it got cooler. Janie had on a cute navy skirt and white polo, and the mistress of the dark settled for a ruffled black babydoll dress with puffy sleeves and lace at the bodice and hem and little black gloves with lace at the wrists. That was in addition to her black Mary Janes, and ripped fishnets.

We walked to a spot not too near the school, a couple blocks from home. We would see DeShaun as they made their way to the finish line at the school. Setting up lawn chairs we sat and waited, waving as his convertible came into view. Only to see that… she… was hanging all over him, and waving and kissing his cheek. That slut Amy, with her low cut shirt, showing off that pushed up cleavage. I felt the tears welling up again, and Luna and Janie must have sensed it, because I was immediately wrapped in hugs once again. Mom and Dad came over and stood behind me, with Mom rubbing my back.

~o~O~o~

Part 40, can you believe it?

As always, I want to hear your comments, questions, and thoughts.
and if you are thinking about writing a story in the Rut Universe, feel free to drop me messages about how the in-world things work.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 41

Janie fussed over my make-up as I sat impatiently. Luna had jokingly suggested that she use water-proof mascara, as I was still a weeping, emotional wreck. When DeShaun had come home, he was clearly in a bad mood. Amy had been very touchy-feely and clingy, which annoyed us both greatly. I so needed to befriend a girl that was bigger than she was, because I so wanted her head knocked off. (Figuratively, of course.)

I finally managed to stop squirming, to Janie’s satisfaction, and she applied my make-up for me. I could handle daily routine make-up, but extravagant formal make-up was still a touch beyond me. Urgh, there are so many things you have to learn as a girl. I was lucky that I figured out the proper way to sit in a skirt without incident. I’d heard too many horror stories about new girls flashing their panties.

I styled my hair giving the ends that slight curl with the curling iron. Mom was there to assist, and she thought I looked lovely. It’s strange. I didn’t really want to be a girl, I still would rather be a boy. But I do have to admit that I make a MUCH better looking girl. I wasn’t ugly as a boy, heck no. But I was not handsome.

That’s why this whole mess is so infuriating, I think. People just see the new me and go overboard. So what if I’m good looking? It’s not important to me. Sure, I wouldn’t want to be ugly… but what I mean is I’m not shallow and hung up on popularity. I just want to hang out with my friends, and all these other girls are envious and Jealous. Hell, if not for the fact I’m going to lose him, the fact DeShaun is leaving at the end of November makes it easier on me.

All these girls hate me for being his. Hell, not my fault. Fuck it. You had guys that were probably hot or smart, or had some other great quality. Actually, now that it occurs to me…

I looked over at Luna, as she sat off to my left. Janie was doing an elaborate braid in her long hair, interweaving ribbons into the braiding.

“Luna, can I ask you a question?”, I asked.

Trying not to laugh, she said “You just did”.

I rolled my eyes. “I never really thought about it until just now, but whatever happened to the boys that the twins were with?”

Trying to keep her head still, Luna laughed. “What do you think? A few days after each of their ruts, they beat their partners up.”

I would have facepalmed, if not for the fact I might smear or mess something up. Wow, I guess it’s a good thing I was smaller and weaker than DeShaun to begin with. I probably would have done that, myself.

Mom finished my hair, and I bent my head down, so she could put my tourmaline necklace on. With her help zipping me up, I was finished. I grabbed the violet clutch that matched my dress, and carefully put on my shoes. I really love this dress, the padding makes it look like I actually have boobs, even if they would be smaller than Luna’s A-cup. Still, I feel pretty.

As a boy, I never had any thing about me that was impressive. I was scrawny, had mo muscles, wasn’t that tall. Granted I’m shorter now, but it actually makes me cuter… go figure that out. Sure, I’m as flat as Kansas, but I have more Junk in the trunk than Sanford and Son. And for someone small, I have long legs...or so my sweetie says. Love him.

I went downstairs, or was descending them, at least. That’s when I heard the clicks. Noooo… Daaad… no pictures. DAD…. Grrrr…

I sighed and stepped off the stairs, smiling. Best to get it over with, I guess. Well, at least until DeShaun gets down here and he insists on couples pictures. * sigh* Couples… I hope the Bitch-Queen...oops, sorry...Princess, doesn’t try to hog all his time, though I know she will.
I carefully sat down on the couch, extra sure not to wrinkle my dress.

Luna and Janie came down, hand in hand. Luna was wearing a corsage with a black rose and white bellflower accents, that went with her dress. She had on her collar, of course. And some white teardrop earrings. Janie had on her dress, she was fidgeting with the sleeves, but she looked beautiful. Luna had given her a corsage of bluebonnets.

It amused me that the ladies were the first ones dressed and ready, given the cliché about how we take so long getting ready. When DeShaun came down the stairs, the three of us were wide-eyed. He looked sooo yummy in his black tux, with the white accents and the red bow tie. Given that he went all out and got the jacket with tails, I nearly swooned. He walked over to me, and gallantly helped me up. Lifting my hand, he kissed the back of it, like in those movies about royalty. I swear, I nearly swooned.

If the parents hadn’t been there, I would have said ‘fuck the dance’, and stripped him naked, and given him the mother of all bjs right there. I looked over at Janie and Luna, and could tell they were thinking similar things, only because they were anatomically complete, what they were thinking was likely much, much less tame.

Managing to avoid blushing, I stepped beside him, as Dad took pictures. Mom stood behind him, saying “Ohhh… my baby”, over and over. She looked like she was going to start crying any moment. I had to turn away, or I likely would have as well.

Dad walked us out to his car, and drove us to the gymnasium. Coach Mom was a chaperon, so Dad had on a nice suit and tie, and she had a black sequined dress with spaghetti straps and a white belt at the waist. Well… With Mom there, and if Ms. Petri was there as well, none of us girls would get any looks from our dates. Then again... DeShaun, Janie, and Luna had spent enough time around Mom that they had probably built up an immunity to her MILF-factor. But for any OTHER girls, all hope of their dates looking at their bodies was gone.

Each couple was photographed as they entered, a keepsake that would be available when the yearbooks were sold. As for the yearbooks, it was required that the Homecoming Royalty also have pictures taken that would be included in the books. I had been hoping that Amy Wilder had been run over by an errant parade float, but no such luck. I saw her sauntering over towards us. She had… somehow used a sausage casing machine to stuff herself into a ridiculously tight red sequined dress that reminded me of Jessica Rabbit. That image was re-enforced by the ridiculous amount of pushing up and padding and augmenting that the dress was doing to her boobs and her butt. Hey, I know that there are pigeons with bigger breasts than me, but at least my rear is all me.

She slipped up next to DeShaun, body-checking me out of the way like she was Wayne Gretzky. She took his arm, and hung on it like some ugly accessory. Clinging and hanging onto him, she kept “accidentally” blinking at the wrong time, so that they would have to take the picture over and over. I stood off to the side, out of the way fuming. My damn hormones were running crazy, and I wanted to weep, but I fought the feeling off as hard as I could. I couldn’t let her see I was upset, but more importantly, I couldn’t ruin my make-up.

I was feeling cranky at that point, so I headed to the punch bowl. Mom was very obviously standing guard of it. She was making small talk with Miss Petri, so of course all male (and a fair share of female) eyes were cast that direction. I slipped in, gave Mom a quick half-hearted smile, and grabbed some punch.

I spotted Janie and Luna happily dancing to a slow jam, and smiled. The adorkable Dark Queen of Goth was resting her head against Janie’s chest, with a look of pure bliss. Seeing that made me feel somewhat better.

DeShaun had FINALLY managed to extricate himself from the photo fiasco, and had headed over to me. I put my empty cup down, and took his hand. He led me onto the dance floor. I was grateful for the crash course that Dad had given me in slow dancing. I nuzzled my head against him, and closed my eyes, only to feel a tapping on my shoulder.

“Excuse me peasant, it’s time for the royalty to dance.”, Amy said with a sneer.

I looked her over, and laughed. “I’m surprised you can dance in that ridiculous dress. I’m sure there’s some girl working some street corner in Downtown Minneapolis that wants it back.”, I replied to her.

She glared at me, and probably would have hauled off and hit me, if not for the fact that there were too many witnesses. Not to mention that she knew DeShaun would be angry. The DJ announced that it was the Royalty Dance, and that all other dancers needed to clear the floor. Reluctantly, I followed Janie and Luna to the punch table. Mom had moved off to the other side of the gym, Dad in tow. I nodded to Miss Petri, who was leaning against Miss Adelaine, her arm around the taller woman, and a smile on her face.

I smiled and nodded to the two teachers.

“Miss Church, how are you?”, Miss Petri asked.

“I could be better, someone is using this royalty thing to keep me away from my boyfriend.”, I replied with a sigh.

Looking me in the eye, Miss Petri responded. “Yes, I heard about it from your Mother. Principal Lewis is looking into things, but honestly none of the faculty members know how the vote could have been rigged, nor how it is that your circle of friends was excluded from getting ballots… or how they kept you from learning about the nominations or elections in the first place.”

Miss Adelaide nodded and she spoke up. “The election is run by the student council, but they swear up and down that ballots were printed for you four, and that they were delivered to your respective homerooms, along with the rest of the ballots.”

Miss Petri gave me a hug. “I’m sorry that this happened. You are a nice girl, and certainly don’t deserve this.”

I thanked her for the kind words, and we headed off to wait for the royalty dance to end. I watched DeShaun, and took comfort in the fact that even while she was pressed in tightly to him, Amy couldn’t see the look of disinterest in his face. Mercifully, the song FINALLY ended, and I rushed over and cut in. Amy tried to refuse, but fortunately a certain tall blonde substitute gym teacher was dancing nearby with her husband. When Amy refused, that teacher happened to clear her throat very clearly.

Ninja Mom to the rescue. Back with my sweetie, I pressed in tight to him again, and closed my eyes. I was in Heaven. I was back with DeShaun. I danced with him for a couple more songs, and Amy tried once again to butt in, but thankfully Luna cut in first. I danced with Janie, and was happy as she lead me around the dance floor. Oh well... at least I’m taller than Luna, and will get my turn to lead when I dance with her.

~o~O~o~

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 42

Janie and I danced as I watched Luna cuddle up to DeShaun. They looked so cute dancing together. She was so tiny compared to him. I smiled and nestled my head against her shoulder. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around. I scowled as I looked directly into the face of May Wilder.

“May I have this dance?”, She asked with a smirk.

I looked at May. She was wearing a similar dress to her sister, this one in blue. She was stuffed into this dress, similar to how her sister was. The corseting and push up construction of the dress made it seem that if she exhaled, it would burst, and deny her any modesty.

Hesitantly, I nodded and took her hand. “How did you do it?” I asked, pointedly.

She feigned ignorance, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”, she cooed.

I sighed. “Why are you doing this? I just want to be left alone with my friends and my boyfriend.”, I said dejectedly.

“Do you know what it’s like to have a rival? To have someone that you focus your attention on? To pour all your competitive juices into defeating?”, May stated.

“Well, no...”, I admitted.

“Okay, now imagine all that attention, all that drive, all that focus on your rival. What do you think would happen to it when you change from liking girls to liking boys.”, she said flatly.

“You mean..?”, I began.

“Yes, she loves him. So much so that she will do anything to win, you are now her rival. She will focus all her drive, determination, all her attention into beating you down. You should just give up. You don’t want to be her focus.”, May stated as she looked at me.

After one song, DeShaun came over and cut in. Luna took Janie’s hand and we all attempted to ignore the sisters.

“What was that all about?”, DeShaun whispered.

“It’s nothing sweetie. It’s… nothing.”, I said.

The night went on, and Janie, DeShaun, Luna and I ignored the twins as best we could. Finally, the dance ended. Janie and Luna were staying over again. We headed home with Mom and Dad. We girls headed upstairs and all got out of our dresses together. I was nervous, I admit it. I know we had sex last night, but I was still trembling. I was naked in front of other girls, for the first time ever. Looking back and forth between Luna and Janie, I was crest-fallen. Looking at Luna’s pert and perky A-cup breasts, with her pink nipples and then over to Janie’s full, sumptuous C-cup breasts, with her dark areola and nipples. Then I looked down at my flat chest. I sighed and then sat down on the bed.

I sighed and buried my head in my arms.

“What’s she upset about now?”, Luna asked Janie.

“I think that the weepies are back, and she’s doing the ‘Wah, my chest is flat’ thing again.”, Janie commented.

Luna rolled her eyes, or at least I can picture that she did. I wasn’t looking. “That’s silly. Every girl in the school would kill for her slender waist. Those curvy hips, long legs, and, of course… that ass.”, Luna quipped back.

“Ha ha”, I replied. “Very funny.”, I retorted.

“Seriously though, Sweetie. Don’t get hung up on your bust size. You are slinky curvy sexy. There are supermodels that would sell their souls to have what you have in your trunk.”, Janie stated with a smile.

Then both of them came over and rubbed my ass. I bit my lip and moaned. Mmm, that was so good. It didn’t feel like that when DeShaun touched it back in the rut. This was something new. Me likey.

After a bit, we all just curled up in a ball and slept. Tomorrow was going to be another long, emotional day.

Waking up early, I extricated myself from the pile and slipped on my pjs. I headed for the bathroom to clean up a little. After a very soothing hot shower, I headed back to the room. Janie was up, and petting the still sleeping Luna. OMG she is so adorable when she sleeps.

“Incidentally, what was it that May said to you? I was watching when you two were dancing, and I could see the sour look on your face.”, Janie asked in a whisper.

I sighed and shook my head. “You know the old saying about there being a fine line between love and hate?”

Janie nodded, and I continued. “Essentially she told me that her sister hated and competed with DeShaun so hard that after she changed, that morphed into some sort of odd form of love.”

Janie looked at me, and I could see she was at a loss for words. “H...uh”, was all she got out.

She headed on to the bathroom, and I finished toweling off, and I dug through my dresser. I got out one of my tank tops… some day I’ll actually need a bra, I told myself.

Pairing the white top with some white cotton panties, I sat down on the bed and stroked Luna’s hair. As she made little purring and mewing noises, I giggled. Sooo cute. Okay, okay. I admit it, I’m getting so girly. Sheesh… I pictured the support group in my head. Me standing up and confessing “My name is Casey, and I love cute things”.

Luna turned over in her sleep, and I grinned an evil grin, before kissing her stomach. Her eyes shot open, as she let out an “Eep!”

I giggled… gawd, I giggle too much now. “Janie should be finished soon. Get your shower stuff together. Mom wants to be on the road before it gets too late.”, I reminded her.

“Aww, can I shower with you?”, Luna pleaded.

I laughed… not a giggle, there is a difference. It was NOT a giggle…. okay, it was a giggle, I confess…

“Sorry Kitten, I already bathed. Plus if you joined me, it’d take twice as long, and then you would need another one to get cleaned up from the first.”, I explained.

Luna looked at me and curled her lip. “Rawrrrr”, she said in a cute, squeaky voice.

When Janie returned, I got a fancy towel dance from Janie as she dried off, doing some odd burlesque thing.

I managed to hold a straight face, and then she did a slinky gyration, while putting on of her panties. I threw a pillow at her, and she stopped kidding around.

After she was done, she stood there, looking cute in a pair of black lycra shorts, white ankle socks, black and white chucks, and her school hoodie.

I grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet, and hopped, pleaded, and wrestled to get them on. When I was done, Janie sat there motionless, her eyes wide, and mouth hanging open.

“What?”, I asked.

“Wear those more often.”, was her reply.

Luna came in, saw me, and likewise gaped. I shook my head, and threw on a powder blue blouse with ruffled short sleeves, and my own chucks.

Janie and I went downstairs to wait, while the Dark Queen of Cute got dolled up… possibly quite literally.

Sure enough 15 minutes later, Luna came down in her usual black and purple. This time a knee length babydoll dress with petticoats. She had on a matching shirt that had laces running up the front, and lacy sleeves. Her ever-present collar was on, and she had grabbed her parasol.

I called over to her. “They probably won’t let you bring that in.”

She blushed. “Oh, right”, she said as she leaned it by the door.
Mom served us all blueberry pancakes, and we hurried up and finished in record time. I looked over to DeShaun as we sat there. “You know, it’s not too late to come with.”, I offered.

He looked at me and touched my cheek. “I can’t, I just can’t. Not now. Maybe in the future, I can go and I can do it… But not yet.”, he said sadly.

I nodded. “I will let you know if anything important happens, or if something is said that you need to know.”

“I know you would.”, he said as he leaned in and kissed my cheek.

Mom was standing a little ways away, and she had a tear running down her cheek. Dad hugged her, and He and DeShaun headed off to the living room.

Us girls followed Mom out to the car. It would be a longer drive, at least a couple hours, but I was in no big rush to get there. I looked at Janie, who was fidgeting with her sleeve cuffs, pulling them over her hands. It was a nervous habit she had picked up since the attack. I think Luna saw it too, because we both simultaneously put an arm over her shoulder. I had declined sitting up front because of this very reason, and I suspect Luna had too.

We did our best to distract Janie with games of ‘I spy’ and counting cows as we drove along the freeway. Janie was tugging at her hoodie again. I gently took my hand from her shoulder, and clasped hers. She squeezed tightly. I noticed that Luna had done the same. She was so brave to agree to do this. None of us had to, but we each felt there was a reason we needed to go. Janie sighed and put her head on my shoulder. I jokingly started ‘99 bottles of beer on the wall’, but then she slugged me in the arm. For a second, it was just like the old days, when we played around.

I thought about the old days while we sat there. Everything was so much simpler. We would joke around, slug each other in the arm. Wrestle around in the mud. Oh my, that has new connotations now. So little time had passed, so much had changed. That made me think of our destination. I dreaded this, but I know I have to do it. If I don’t, it’ll eat away at me. Just like I know that Janie has to face this, if she’s ever going to heal. Luna has her own reasons as well. I know she’s happy with Janie and I but she could have had more, she could have had better. Someone just for her.

Then again, who knows? I didn’t end up with “someone just for me.” I like the arraignment that we have now. But at the same time, it scares me. What if it all backfires? What if Janie got pregnant? Or Luna? How would we handle that? I know I promised no jealousy, but can I keep that promise?

And what happens to me when he has to leave? Will we end there and then? Will it be a long-distance thing? Will he come back for college? Will I have to go where he wants to go? Before I realize it, I’m the one squeezing Janie’s hand tightly. I look down, at our clenched hands, She’s rubbing her thumb along the back of my hand. I lift our joined hands and kiss the back of her hand.

She smiled at me. “I’m alright now. Thanks to you, thanks to both of you.”, she said before kissing us both on the cheeks.

I heard a sniffle from the driver’s seat, and saw that Mom was tearing up again. “Sorry… pollen.”, she said unconvincingly. We all looked at her and broke out laughing. Maybe we would be alright after all.

~o~O~o~

Love to hear your questions, see your comments, and know your concerns.
Drop them below.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 43

Janie clung to me as we entered the facility. Mom was with us as we entered the security checkpoint. Luna went through the meta detector first, causing it to beep. A guard stepped over and used a hand wand to scan her, revealing the culprit to be her earrings. Reluctantly, she turned those over, and they were handed to Mom. Mom wouldn’t be going in with us, so she agreed to hold our items.

Janie was next, and she handed her earrings and bracelet over to Mom, and went through the metal detector without any issue. I was next, and I handed over my jewelry, and followed suit.

Having passed the metal detectors, next was a pat-down, which was embarrassing and uncomfortable. I knew that it was needed, because of the nature of the people housed at the facility, still it didn’t make it any less scary. I wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable and scared, but now that I was a girl, I had to become accustomed to this feeling. I didn’t like it. Mom and Dad were still looking into the kick-boxing option for me.

After the pat-down, we were led down a long corridor. The guard spoke to us. “Do not hand anything to the patient, unless approved by the staffers in attendance. Do not make extended physical contact with the patient. Do not deliver outside messages from anyone on the list of people provided to you when you entered.”

That was relatively simple, because the only person on said list was one I never wanted to see.

We were led through the door at the end of the corridor, into a large room. There were tables spaced around the room. But only one was occupied at the moment. Off to the side stood two large men in white scrubs and coats. Our attention was focused on the person at the table. She sat there, her red hair buzzed short. She had on an orange top and matching pants. Marcia Hayes.

I looked at her, she had bags under her eyes, and what I had at first mistaken for being pudgy when I first encountered her was clearly now a baby bump.

I motioned Janie to sit in the middle, so that Luna and I could flank her and provide support. She nodded and sat. As we looked at Marcia, she motioned to one of the nurses behind her, and they handed her a large tablet, like an over-sized iPad. She typed on it and then held it up for us to read.

>> I did not expect to see you three on my visitor’s list, Did DeShaun accompany you?<<

I looked at her and shook my head. “He doesn’t want anything to do with you. Once the baby is born, he will take him, should the DNA test conclude that it’s his.”, I replied coldly.

She looked down and typed again. >>I understand the skepticism, but this is his son. I guess I can’t blame him. I did horrible things.<<

She looked at Janie, and I saw a tear streaming down Marcia’s face. She began to type again.

>>Jane, I know this may seem hollow to you, but I apologize with all my heart. I was sick. I know now that you have every right to never forgive me, but I hope someday you will understand.<<

Janie slammed her fists on the table, and yelled at Marcia. “Understand? UNDERSTAND?? YOU TRIED TO KILL ME, AND YOU KNEW I HAD TRIED TO DO IT MYSELF BEFORE, AND YOU USED THAT AS A COVER!”

Marcia hung her head, then reached for the tablet again.

>>I regret it, I do. I was sick. All those years of mother telling me that so long as I was a boy, I would be weak. And that I was really a girl. She made it clear that I had no choice but to become a girl. I never got to experience what it was like to be a boy. Every day, I had to wear panties, and pants and jeans that were made for girls. I had to endure lessons on how to be the idea girl. So I rebelled, and took out my frustrations on things that couldn’t defend themselves. Small animals, those weaker than me.<<

Her eyes turned to Luna, and she frowned. The typing began again.

>>Luna, I’m sorry, I abused you. I molested you. I kept you under my thumb by having Mother send your boyfriend away. When all the things I did were brought forward as evidence, I wasn’t surprised it was you. I deserved it.<<

Luna’s head lowered and she began to sob.

I reached across Janie and held Luna’s hand. Janie put both of her hands on top of mine.

I was angry. “You fucked over so many people, and your legacy is continuing, even with you here. You do know that, don’t you?”, I spat at her.

She looked at me questioningly, and typed.

>>Legacy?<<

Janie spoke up next. “The Wilders. They’ve declared war on Casey. They rigged the Homecoming election to get DeShaun and Amy elected as Freshman homecoming royalty, so that she could hog his time at the dance. They cornered Luna and Casey both and have beaten them both up.”

Marcia looked at us, then looked down. She took the pad and typed some more.

>>You are right, I did fuck them over, and I did cause this current mess for you. All of that is my fault.<<

I looked away, and then looked back at her. She was typing again.

>>After my surgeries, I had a moment of clarity. An epiphany, if you will. Laying in the hospital ward, I had time to reflect on everything. I was sick, and I needed to get better. For myself, and for the baby. The surgeries alone put him at risk. He’s okay, by the way. Since I’ve been put on medications for my issues, I’ve been better. The meds are safe for him. And I feel like a real person now. With my own choices ahead of me. I’ve been attending school here. I decided to make up for what I’ve done somehow, though I don’t know how just yet. I know that my baby will be safe with DeShaun, so I’ve signed papers stating that he gets sole parental rights, I rescinded my own. And I made sure Mother is not allowed even visiting rights. I’m sure she will sue, but my wishes in the matter are on file.<<

Janie looked at Marcia, and lowered her head. In a low whisper, she spoke. “You hurt me, you disfigured me. You tore away my self-worth. I have to hide my arms now, or else people start to stare and pity me. I have nightmares, I shake and cry in the middle of the night.”

Marcia nodded sadly, and then held out her arms. She had on short sleeves, and her wrists were wrapped in bandages. She lowered her arms and went back to the tablet.

>>I am more sorry than you will ever know, and I serve my own penance. I’ll go through life the same way as you. With scarred wrists, covered in bite marks and suture scars. If I ever speak again, every word will be a bitter reminder to me of all the pain and suffering that I have caused.<<

Luna was still sobbing, and Marcia looked over at her. She paused for a second, and then wrote more.

>>Luna, You saved me. You got me turned in, you got me help. I am so sorry for all I did to you. Both Physically, and mentally.<<

Luna looked up, her mascara streaking down her cheeks. “You raped me. You tied me to a chair and you molested me, you raped me with all those different things. I was afraid, and you tormented me. I had nightmares of you catching me and beating me to death. Of course I had to turn you in, YOU WERE A MONSTER!”, She stopped speaking, and lowered her head, leaning supported against Janie’s shoulder.

Tears were streaming down Marcia’s face. She wiped some off the tablet, and wrote her next reply.

>>You are right. I was a monster, I killed things, I manipulated people, I raped you. I drugged the Wilders, pretty much the same as raping them. I took away their choice. Just like my mother took away my choice before I was even born. I’m no better than she is. But I want to be. Maybe if I had been allowed to be a boy, I’d still have become a girl. I don’t know. But I know that Mother made me a monster. When I found who I was going to be with, I threatened to have him killed if he didn’t make me a girl. He was a small, shy kid. Maybe he would have been better off as a girl. Maybe not. But I took that away from him. I don’t even know his name. If I could laugh at the Irony, I would.<<

I sat there looking at Marcia. “Why DeShaun?”, I asked.

Marcia slumped down, her body language clearly indicating sorrow. She typed slowly, erasing several times.

>>DeShaun was my mother’s choice, and in my sickness, I latched on to that choice and made myself believe I loved him. Maybe I did, but in a selfish, sick way. He was tall, handsome, athletic, he had promise and potential.<<

I looked at her. “So it was all a fantasy about becoming what? Some sort of power couple?”, I barked in indignation.

She sadly nodded, typing again.

>>And I screwed up his life. He’s going to be a father, Which I didn’t intend. No scholarships to college. No NFL career. Not with a son to support. Worse yet, I took something from him, something that wasn’t my right. Something that should have gone to you. And I’ll be sorry for that forever.<<

She rubbed her bump, and I saw the slight quiver in her lips. It was getting harder to hate her, to cast her in the role of the mustache-twirling villain, tying the damsel in distress to the railroad tracks. She too was a victim, Though I don’t know if Luna or Janie would agree with that assessment.

Life is so confusing and unfair. None of us here were winners. We had all lost, in one way or another.

The attendant that was standing nearby spoke up. “Ladies, visiting hours are coming to a close. I’m sorry, but you will need to wrap up soon.”, said the tall, muscular man.

I looked to Luna and Janie, who both nodded to me. I spoke for us all. “Thank you, I think we are done here.”

Marcia motioned for us to wait for a second, then she motioned to the attendant. She quickly typed on her tablet.

>>before you leave, I know I don’t deserve to ask this, but could you deliver something to DeShaun for me?<<

The attendant reached into a folder he was carrying, and handed Marcia a single sheet of paper. She placed it on the table and slid it forward to me. I looked at it and gasped. It was her sonogram. She wanted DeShaun to have a picture of their son. I nodded to her, and took the picture, holding it carefully.

After we had left the facility, and begun our trip back home, I sat in the car looking at the picture intently for the entire trip.

~o~O~o~

As always, I LOVE to hear your thoughts, opinions, concerns, comments

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over 100 years, Casey adjusts to her new life as a girl. Can Casey cope with everything that comes with being a girl, or will others conspire to ruin her life?

Chapter 44

I was feeling restless after the meeting with Marcia. I wandered about the house, everyone had gone to sleep. We had, of course, dropped Janie and Luna off at their houses. I tiptoed down the stairs. I saw a light on in the kitchen and made my way over. I pushed through the door cautiously, but it was just Mom.

“Can’t sleep, Kiddo?”

I sighed. “I’m just… so confused. Six weeks ago, I was just another geek-boy, I was nothing special, and nobody paid me any interest. I obsessed and fantasized about boobs and sex, like any other heterosexual boy... and now, I’m this girl… I’m more than certain I’m bisexual now. I have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, and a… I’m not sure exactly, but I love her too.”

I paused, and looked down as Mom put a glass of milk in front of me, and got out the chocolate powder.

“Thanks Mom. As I was saying, Everything’s become so complicated. I went yesterday, hoping I would come out of it hating Marcia still. But even though she’s done horrible things, I can’t entirely bring myself to do it. And then there’s this...”

I took out the sonogram and put it down in front of her.

“I look at this, and in my head pop up the words ‘why isn’t it me?’, and that scares me. Just over a month ago, I thought babies were gross little balls of ick, and now my hormones are making me crave one of these.”

I looked over at Mom, and saw her crying. She came over and hugged me. “I’m sorry I haven't been a good mother, I should be there more for you when it comes to this stuff. I went through it when I was your age. As you get closer to the end of your transition, your female hormones spike, and you get moody, irrational, you cry at the drop of a dime, you snap on people for no reason. I feel like I failed, not warning you sooner.”

Mom sobbed, and I looked at her. “Are YOU okay? You’ve been pretty emotional lately yourself. I’ve seen you crying a lot. Like this evening, when that commercial for the Humane Society showed all those kittens and homeless puppies. It’s like… wait. No. Don’t tell me… Are you?”

Mom looked up at me and nodded. I squealed and jumped up and hugged her tight. “I’m gonna be a big sister!” I cried in excitement. Then the enormity of that hit me. I’m going to be a big sister… I slumped to the floor in shock.

After a couple minutes, I managed to get back up onto my stool. “But how? I thought you said that the doctors said it would be nearly impossible for you, and that I was ‘your little miracle’...”

Mom smiled and hugged me again. “Sometimes miracles happen twice. I never expected it to happen again. We had given up hope, but Your Father’s soldiers stormed the beaches and planted their flag.”

I facepalmed at that description. “Mom, I don’t need the info on the Normandy Invasion of your uterus.”

We both laughed, and drank our chocolate milk.

“One thing though, it was going to be a surprise. We were going to tell you at your birthday Party on Saturday.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll act surprised.”, I said as I nodded.

After sitting and talking for a little while, I wandered upstairs. I felt better. That creepy baby-want was still there, but knowing I was going to be a big sister dulled the edge.

Morning came, and I got up feeling pretty good. The weepies were at bay for now, and I felt like the cat that swallowed the canary. I smiled at Mom, who was in her yoga pants and a polo shirt. I managed to avoid checking out her stomach, but it was far too early to see anything. Still, I didn’t want to tip off to Dad, and disappoint his fun.

DeShaun was sitting at the table, looking at the sonogram picture. He had refused to look at it last night, which was one of the things that had set me off. But now he was looking at it. And I may have seen a tear in his eye. I’m not sure.

After a while, breakfast was done, and DeShaun and I headed off to school together. It was a crisp day, as October days here tended to be, but it was still pleasant. We walked hand in hand, despite my need to walk fast to keep up to his pace.

We said our goodbyes, and gave each other a kiss on the cheek before heading to our respective homerooms.

I sat down and smiled over at Luna. As per usual, the Dark Queen of Cute was wearing something black with lots of lace and ribbons and floof. “You seem in a good mood.”, she commented.

“I am.”, I replied. “I got some good news last night.”

Luna nodded that ‘I know all about it’ nod that she has. Honestly, if we ever go to war, we just need to drop her behind enemy lines, and we’ll have all of their secrets in a few hours.

The rest of the class filed in, and the twins glared at the two of us.

“Oh, Hi Amy. Hi May. Marcia asked how you two are doing yesterday. She says you two haven’t been up to visit her. She’s awfully disappointed. Especially since you three were as thick as thieves.”, I said to them as they got a little too close.

The twins looked at us both with looks of panic and fear on their faces and backed off.

The classroom hustle and bustle died down, and roll was called. I payed marginal attention, until Luna nudged me suddenly.

Mr. Hedges was standing before me, frowning that I hadn’t been paying attention. “I said, Miss Church, Who was Josef Mengele, and why did they become one of the most hated and feared men in the 20th century?”

I swallowed hard and thought over my answer. “Mengele was Hitler’s chief physician and scientist. Hitler gave him access to the population of his camps, in order to study the ‘newly minted’ female Jews. He would perform such experiments as attempting to transplant the uterus and ovaries of newly minted girls into sterile ‘original women’. He experimented on fetuses, attempting to reverse the change, and restore humanity to a state as it was prior to the ‘event’. Thousands of women and children died under his watch.”

Mr. Hedges looked at me. He walked back up front of the class. “Okay class, your homework is to read chapter 19 in your textbook, and be prepared for a quiz tomorrow.”

The class groaned and several sets of eyes focused on me. I shook my head dejectedly, and got up to leave once the bell rang. Luna caught up to me after class.

“Are you okay?”, she asked.

I explained to her about my listlessness and the whole confusing baby thing. I looked at her, as we walked down the hallway. “Did you ever feel it?”, I asked.

Luna looked up at me. “Briefly, until Anthony was sent away. Then I kind of resigned myself to the thought that I’d never find another boy to be interested in me. Truthfully, I think I kinda subconsciously decided that no guy would come along, so it’d be best for me to become a lesbian.”

I looked at her, stunned. “Do you still think that?”

“I did, but then I was absorbed into your group, and decided that DeShaun was too hot to not consider having the ‘D’, when possible.” After she said that, she looked me in the face and stammered. “O...of course, t-the only way I’d ever do it with him is with your permission. I know you said that thing at the dance, b… but… um…” She was beet-red and a mess, stumbling over her words. I smiled and decided to take the tension off by giving her a quick peck on the lips, when I made sure nobody was looking.

We soon reached the Freshmen lockers, and went our separate ways.

Lunch rolled around, and found Janie and I sitting together. DeShaun had been called into the office for some meeting, and so it was just Janie and I. We sat silently for a bit, and then Janie turned to me.

“You’ve been kind of… off. Ever since we returned from seeing Marcia. Are you okay? Did she do something?”, she asked with concern plainly on her face.

I sighed and put down the bologna sandwich. “No, not really. Not directly, anyhow. She gave me a picture of the sonogram to give to DeShaun, and along with some other… news… that I got, I’ve just been out of sorts.”, I said.

“Is this about your Mom expecting?”, she asked.

I looked at her, stunned. “You know?”, I said as I stared at her wide-eyed.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like she’s been that hard to read. Luna and I picked up on her mood swings and crying jags almost instantly.”

I nodded. Of course the Dark One would notice. She notices everything.

“After all that, I’ve just kind of been having a crisis of identity. Not that long ago we were both heterosexual geeks, focused on boobs, and trying to catch peeks of girls changing into their gym outfits. Now look at us. You have the best boobs in the 9th grade, and I could get a part in the re-shoot of the Sir Mix-a-Lot video. I feel like I’m not me sometimes. All the mood swings and hormones. The impatience to jump DeShaun and have him inside me. And that scary, inner voice that is jealous that it’s Marcia having his baby, and not me.”, I sobbed.

I lowered my head and felt the tears coming again. Damn weepies. I struggled through the rest of the day, my mind clearly not on school. When I got home, I flopped on the couch and the tears just flowed. Tomorrow I will be 14 years old, and I am an emotional wreck. I sat there on the couch, absent-mindedly stroking my stomach. Mom came in after I don’t know how long.

“I hope that’s not indicative of anything.”, she said with a smile.

“No. I can barely get my finger in, much less that monster of DeShaun’s.”, I said with a playful jab at Mom.

“Erm, well… l... um…”, Mom stammered.

I laughed and tossed a throw pillow at her. That’s why they are called that, right?

“Just giving you grief.”, I laughed.

“Does remind me though, we need to get you set up for an appointment. I know Doctor Foster has been your pediatrician ever since you were born… but I think for the rest of your transition, we should get you seen by a gynecologist. I mean since all that’s left to change is your reproductive system, correct?”

I nodded.

“Yep, all girl. With all the emotional landmines and all the weepies and all the jealousy over my boyfriend having a baby with someone else.”, I mumbled.

Mom, with that Mom-way she has, make me feel better instantly with a few words. “You’ll have plenty of time when you are more grown to think about babies, maybe with DeShaun, maybe with someone else. But for now, enjoy not having to look forward to feeling like you should have ‘Goodyear’ tattooed on your sides, not having to go through 32 hours of labor, and not having something the size of a large ham tear your vagina apart.”

Gee thanks Mom, feel better already.

~o~O~o~

Love the comments, questions, and ideas. Keep them coming.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 45

I woke up to the smell of waffles and leaped out of bed. It was October 9th, my birthday! I was officially 14, and I was excited. I hurried through my shower and got dressed quickly. I rushed into the kitchen and sat down at the table. DeShaun gave me a kiss on the cheek, one that Mom and Dad pretended not to notice.

Everyone smiled and broke out into a chorus of ‘Happy birthday’. I smiled and dove into the blueberry and chocolate chip waffles. My favorite.

Scarfing down my waffles, I hardly noticed when 3 boxes appeared on the table. “Your other presents will wait for the party this weekend, but for now you can open one from each of us.”, Dad explained.

“But Mom already gave me her jersey.”, I protested.

She smiled and stuck her tongue out at me. “That doesn’t count”, she said cheerfully.

I sighed and DeShaun pushed his package over to me. It was a small box. I unwrapped it, and looked at it. It was certainly a jewelry box. No doubt. I opened it and looked at it. There was a ring in it. I looked at him, confused.

“It’s a promise ring.”, he stated. “It shows you that I am committed to you. That I love you, and that eventually, I plan on putting two other rings on your finger.”

With that said, He took it out of the box, and slid it onto my left ring finger, as I broke out once again in the dreaded weepies. I give him a rather steamy kiss, and try to pretend Mom and Dad aren’t there.

I hear Dad clear his throat, and we break the kiss. I blush and open Dad’s gift next. it’s an envelope with a certificate in it the certificate reads ‘Northern Tigers Dojo, one year’s membership. Paid in full.’

“The classes are Tuesday and Thursday after school, and Saturday and Sunday Morning”, Dad stated. “You’ll be starting next Tuesday.”

Mom came over. “That brings me to my gift.”, She handed me a package that contained something flexible. It was some form of clothing, I guessed. I opened it up and there was an outfit comprised of black lycra shorts and matching sports bra.

“I bought you four of these, in various colors, for your lessons. The others are upstairs.” she stated.
I hugged Mom and Dad and reached for more of the waffles.

After finishing up, DeShaun and I walked to school. Mom had offered us a ride, but it was nice out. The leaves were turning and the autumn colors were reaching peak. We walked in and he led me to my locker. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him I’d see him for Home Ec.

Walking into History, I was pounced by the Dark One, as she wrapped me in hugs. “Happy birthday!”, she excitedly squealed. We went back to our desks, the twins were watching and whispering. Fuck them. It’s my birthday, and they can go to hell.

We sat and giggled as the rest of the class filed in. “I have a present for you, but it’s still not complete. I’ll be bringing it to the party.”, Luna said as she laughed. “However, I have caught wind of something that will be as good as a present. And it should happen any moment now.”

With that, the school intercom buzzed and Principal Lewis came on the loudspeaker. “Good Morning students. Before we read off the sports and activities schedule for the day, There is some news I’ll be passing along. After interviewing the student council, and doing a tally of the votes, we have discovered that 75 percent of the freshmen ballots for Homecoming Court were missing. The missing ballots have been located, and a recount was performed. DeShaun McAllister won the Freshmen Homecoming Prince title, after the recount. I would like to congratulate our actual winner of the Homecoming Princess title, Miss Casey Church. Additionally, Amanda Wilder and May Wilder please report to the Principal’s office at once.”

I sat there stunned, as everyone turned and looked my way. Suddenly the rest of the class (with a few exceptions that I noted for later reference) stood and gave me an ovation.

I watched Amy and May slink off, Amy giving me a glare briefly before leaving. After they left, class went back to normal. More discussion of Mengele, this time it was about his fleeing to South America.

When Lunch rolled around, I sat at the normal spot. Janie was out sick today, so it was just DeShaun and I. People came over every few minutes and congratulated me, and many suspected that the vote had been rigged, because they hadn’t voted for Amy. I had learned via the Dark Mistress of Cute that Amy and May had been sent home on a suspension. There was going to be a school board meeting as to possible further penalties.

When the well-wishers stopped coming by, I pulled my phone out, and called over to the Bond house.

Janie picked up, but sounded like death warmed over. “I’m sorry I got sick on your birthday. It sucks.”, she said between coughs.

“Never mind that Janie. You get well, I want my bestie at my party on Saturday, okay?”, I told her. “Now get plenty of sleep and drink lots of orange juice. Talk to you later!”

I hung up with her, and leaned against DeShaun. After lunch, he walked me to my locker and then to class. With Janie not there, I sat by myself and listened as Miss Petri talked about parthenogenesis. I went up to Miss Petri after class to get Janie’s homework, but she informed me that the Dark One had gotten it earlier. It seemed that Kitten was going to stop over there.

I got my homework done in Study Hall, no Janie meant that there was nobody to talk to. It was kind of a let-down that my birthday was so plain. I mean not including the outstanding news from first period.

Home Economics broke the boredom, as Mrs. Beverly had us baking and frosting cakes. The other students made random cakes, but When deShaun and My cake came out, he insisted on doing the decorating. Soon, there was a delicious looking German Chocolate cake sitting there. ( My favorite!!)
On the top he put some candles., lighting them, he turned to me and started singing ‘Happy Birthday’, soon, the rest of the class joined in, even Brad and the footballers participated. I blushed and thanked everyone. I blew out the candles, and the cake went into the refrigerator, for me to pick up after school.

Last class came, and I walked in to art class, and sat next to George. He was looking a little better, posture-wise. I looked closely at him, he was starting to show some signs of his change. Poor guy.

I turned to him, as we were both working with our modeling clay. “Georgie”, I said. “I’m having a birthday party on Saturday, would you like to come? Janie and my friends will be there. We are going to have cake and ice cream, watch movies, and have fun.”

Georgie looked at me. “I’m… not sure.”, He said. “I’m still having a lot of problems with anxiety. I’ll come if I can, but I can’t guarantee it.”

I nodded. “I hope to see you, but if you don’t come, I understand. If you do come, don’t feel obligated to get me anything. It’ll be good just having you there.”

With that said, I went back to my sculpting.

After class, I stopped at the Home Ec room and got my cake. I wrapped it up carefully in plastic wrap and walked home. I spotted the twins following me, and sped up. I made it through the door safe, but with nobody else home, I was slightly scared. I sat up in my room, the shades drawn. My homework was done, and I really had nothing else to do. Mom would be home after the volleyball team finished practice, and DeShaun had his practice as well. Dad was working on a case, but had promised to be home before it got too late. I called Janie, but it went to voicemail. She must be asleep.

Sighing, I hopped online and surfed the net for a bit. After I finished my webcomics and checking my usual sites, I glanced out the window again. Looking through the blinds, I could see Amy sitting under a tree across the street. It was clear someone was behind it, probably May.

Panicking, I pulled out my phone and hit speed dial. “Church, Lawson, and Banks. Mr. Church’s office.”, the receptionist said in neutral voice.

“Miss Webster, is my Dad in?”, I asked nervously.

“Oh, Casey! Happy birthday, by the way. Let me check. One second.”, she replied.

I was placed on hold for a few seconds, and then Dad picked up. “What’s up, Pumpkin?” HE asked in a concerned voice.

“Daddy, I’m scared. Today at school, they suspended the Wilder sisters for rigging the Homecoming vote. They followed me home, and I’m all alone here. I locked the house up, and turned on the alarm, but they are out front, watching the house from across the street. Please Daddy, I’m scared.”

“Calm down Pumpkin.”, Dad said in his ‘Dad will fix everything’ voice. “I’ll call your Aunt Maggie, and have her roll a squad through on patrol. If they are still there, they will shoo them off.”
“Thanks Daddy, I just felt so scared, and alone. Mom and DeShaun aren’t home yet. Janie is sick, I didn’t have anyone to call.”, I said, tears flowing down my face.

“I’ll finish up here and be home as soon as I can, Sweetheart, okay? I gotta go now, to call Maggie. Love you.”, he said.

“love you too Daddy.”. I said as I hung up.

I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only like 15 minutes. I heard the brief sounding of a police siren, and looked out the window to see an officer standing on the curb, talking to the twins. His partner was a little ways away, standing beside the squad car. I watched the scene as the sisters took off. The officer by the squad headed towards the house. I ran down the hall and flew down the stairs. When the doorbell rang, I looked through the peep-hole, and then opened the door.

“Ma’am, I’m officer Lusedt”, the tall man with the clean-shaven head stated. He looked like he could wrestle a bear, with how well he filled out his uniform. “The girls that were watching the house are gone. I gave them a loitering citation, and informed them that if they were caught snooping around again, they could be charged with stalking. Oh, and your Aunt Maggie told me to tell you that she’ll be here Saturday to see you. Have a good day.”

With that, the big, mountain of a man turned and walked back towards the squad car and got in, after his partner did likewise, they headed off at a leisurely pace. Still, I was afraid. I locked the door and laid low until DeShaun finally came home. When he arrived, I collapsed into his arms, and it was like a dam burst. The tears started to flow and flow, and didn’t stop, even after he brought me over to the couch and held me tight as we snuggled up there. After a while I stopped crying, and I must have fallen asleep.

~o~O~o~

I love reading your comments, questions, and Ideas. please feel free to share them.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 46

I slept uneasily that night, nightmares of the twins breaking in waking me every couple hours. I looked like a mess when I came down to breakfast. I didn’t even remember going up to bed. DeShaun must have carried me upstairs, and had Mom change me into my pajamas.

I sat at the table, sipping a cup of coffee, the mug held firmly in both hands. “You look terrible pumpkin, did you get any sleep?”, Dad asked.

I shook my head and cradled the coffee. I normally hated coffee, but this cup seemed like a magical brew to me right now, helping to keep me awake and sane.

Mom looked at me. “You are staying home today. I will inform the office. No arguments.”

I sighed, and knew there was no point in resisting. I put the mug down, my hands trembling. Dad must have noticed, because he pulled out his phone.

I watched him flip through his contacts, and he speed-dialed one.

“Hello. How is it going? I was going to ask a favor. Hes. Yeah, she’s scared. I was going to ask if you could … your day off? Sure that’s even better. 30 minutes? Sure that works. See you then. Love you.” I heard Dad’s side of the conversation, and wondered who he was talking to. I needn’t have bothered, because he turned and faced me.

“Pumpkin, your Aunt is coming over, she will spend the day with you while your mother and I are at work. I don’t want any arguments. This is happening. You are shaking visibly. You are in no condition to go to school”.

I looked over at DeShaun. He looked back at me and smiled. “I’ll gather up your homework and lessons. Don’t worry about it.”

I nodded and managed a bowl of grape-nuts, with banana slices. I put down the coffee. Seriously, that stuff is vile. But not needing the caffeine, I didn’t need it.

Mom hugged me, before heading out to the garage. DeShaun joined her for a ride in to school.

Dad and I sat there for a little while alone. He finished up his breakfast, and came over and hugged me.

“Remember, none of this is your fault. Marcia, these two, none of it. You are a beautiful, intelligent young lady who doesn’t deserve this. I’m sorry that you have to go through it.” He said.

We sat together in the living room. The doorbell rang, and he got up to answer it. Aunt Maggie came in. She was Dad’s sister, and as such she shared in his.. um… our lack of height. Still, she was the tallest 5’4” woman you could imagine, radiating this aura of respect, authority, and intensity. She was an unexpected addition to Grandma and grandpa’s family, being younger than Dad by 12 years.

I looked up from the couch, seeing her. She had on jeans and an Eden Prairie Police K-9 unit polo. Her reddish brown hair was up in a pony tail. With the jeans and the polo you could see her fit physique, strong, and slender, but still curvy. I noticed I looked at her chest. I have said before that the women in Mom and Dad’s families all tend towards the average or bigger side. Aunt Maggie was no exception, being at least a C cup. Aunt Maggie came in, leading her partner Hercules.

I stood up and she saw me. “Is that Casey? Oh look at you! You look so pretty. I didn’t even recognize you!”, she squealed. She did a little twirling motion with her finger, and I did as she asked, spinning around for her to get a good look.

She ran over and hugged me. I felt her crush me in the embrace. Aunt Maggie is strong. VERY strong for someone her size.

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged back tightly. Tears dripping down my cheeks. She reached into her bag and pulled out some tissues and offered me one.

“Ladies, as much as I’d like to stay, I have work to do on a case. If you need anything though, feel free to call.”, Dad said as he grabbed his briefcase and headed towards the garage.

Aunt Maggie looked at me, those hazel eyes of hers scanning me up and down. “I just can’t get over how different you look.”, she said.

“I know, neither can I, sometimes. “, I admitted.

I ran upstairs and changed. I didn’t feel like wearing the skirt and blouse I had picked, so I grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt.

I looked out the window. Nobody was out there, but I still felt nervous.

Aunt Maggie and I sat down on the couch, and she regaled me with stories of what she had been up to. Her and her partner had been influential in a big drug bust the other week, and had also found a missing boy that had been abducted by his father in a custody dispute.

Hercules curled up on the floor and yawned. Maggie scratched him on the head as I watched.

I caught up Aunt Maggie on everything that had been happening in my life, from meeting DeShaun, to Marcia, and the situation with the twins.

“I knew some of the details about the Hayes girl.”, she said. “I was the one your parents handed the information your friend had gathered to. But since it was out of my field, I wasn’t the one who worked on it.”

I actually hadn’t known that.
Aunt Maggie and I spent the morning, baking and chatting. She loved to bake, and I gave her a piece of the cake I had made with DeShaun. She loved it.

A little before noon, there was a knocking on the door. Aunt Maggie looked at me. I shook my head, in response to the unspoken question.

She went to the door, cautiously, leading Hercules. I noticed that she was armed, and that reassured me. I hadn’t noticed her holster before, but it was there. Looking out the window, she saw two girls standing on the porch. I went over to Dad’s office, and looked out from behind the blinds.

“That’s them!”, I said, panicking.

Aunt Maggie nodded, and opened the door. “Hello girls, is there something I can help you with?”, she asked. Hercules sat at her side, looking menacing, even for a German Shepherd, he was on the large side, and that gave him some intimidation points.

“U...um, We are friends of Casey, and we were wondering if she were home.”, Amy stammered, looking from the police insignia on Maggie’s shirt, to Hercules, and back again.

“Funny, from all indications, you girls fit the descriptions of two girls that have been harassing my niece. And shouldn’t you both be in school? Unless, of course, you are Amanda Constance Wilder and Mayelle Jordan Wilder… both of whom were cited yesterday for loitering in this area, and are known to be on suspension from school due to violations in the school ethics code.”

May swallowed hard and stepped back, pulling Amy along with. “I’m sorry, I think we’ll be going. Sorry to disturb you. I hope Casey feels better.”, May stated nervously.

They both backed down the sidewalk, reaching the end of the property line, once they were out of our yard, they turned and ran as fast as they could. I broke out into laughter, and looked at Aunt Maggie. She was trying to appear stoic, and failing. I could see that she was fighting off a major outburst of the giggles.

I felt better, and I gave her a hug, which she gave back. I took note of the time, and called Janie. She was sitting next to DeShaun at lunch. She was feeling better, her cramps had eased up on her today, and she was well enough to go to school. I thought about that and shuddered. That could be me in a few months. I spoke to both of my sweeties. They informed me that Luna had been scared when I hadn’t shown up, but they would tell her that I called when they saw her.

I felt a lot better, and Aunt Maggie and I had a light lunch, some salad. I told her about the kickboxing, and she approved. We went down to Mom’s studio in the basement. When she did personal training, she often had people over Here to work out. She let DeShaun use the weights and exercise bikes and so forth, but I had never really been interested.

Now that I was a girl though, I saw the logic in staying in shape and working out to get stronger. Aunt Maggie had gone out to her car and gotten her workout clothes, and I had hopped on the stationary bike. I watched as She worked with the speed bag, and then the heavy bag. I held it for her as She demonstrated some kicks and punches. She didn’t show me too much, because she thought that it would be best to let my instructor do that, so that I didn’t pick up contradictory technique. After riding a bit, I settled into stretching and some simple yoga poses.
“I’m amazed at how flexible you are!”, Aunt Maggie exclaimed. “I can’t do a full split like that.”, she commented as I did a frontward split. I then showed off a little with a side-split, and she watched.

“How far can you kick?”, she asked out of curiosity.

“You know, I have no idea, I’ve never tried.” I did a few front kicks, in rapid succession, before attempting a full on front upper kick. We both marveled as I kicked my leg up over my head.

“Yep, amazing flexibility!”, She commented. I blushed, surprised I had impressed Aunt Maggie.

We finished working out, and were hot and sweaty. I offered Aunt Maggie first shower, up in my bathroom. After she finished, I took my turn. I put on some yoga pants and a Captain America tee from my boy days, and then threw my school hoodie over that. Aunt Maggie was back in her polo and jeans.

Hercules yawned and whined a little. “Looks like someone has to go.”, She commented. We headed out for a walk, taking Herc out to the trails. I realized this was where George had been raped. I mentioned it to Aunt Maggie, and she shook her head, sadly.

Still, we went on the nature trails, and stopped a couple times for Hercules to sniff a scent, or take care of business. I, of course, looked the other way, as Maggie had to bag it up and dump it into one of the trash cans that lined the path. Don’t get me wrong, I loved dogs, and sometimes wished we had one, but that was the part that I could do without.

There was a slight breeze, and the leaves rustled as we walked. I took in the colors and the vibrancy of the reds and golds and browns. It was turning out to be a better day than it had started. By the time we got back, school was out.

We walked in, and DeShaun was on the couch, taking a nap. Aunt Maggie stared and was about to draw on him, when I yelled out. “Aunt Maggie! No! That’s DeShaun, my boyfriend!”

DeShaun shot up with a jolt, and fell off the couch. After numerous apologies, things had settled down.

He sat beside me, on the opposite side as Aunt Maggie, I noticed. Herc came over and gave a small “woof’, placing his head in DeShaun’s lap. DeShaun sat and scratched his head. Apparently, if Herc approved of DeShaun, so did Aunt Maggie.

~o~O~o~

Questions, comments, Ideas? Let me hear them!

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 47

Aunt Maggie stayed over for dinner, and afterwards She and DeShaun took Hercules out back and played fetch with him. I sat on the patio and watched. I had always wanted a dog, but that had never come to fruition. When it got late, Aunt Maggie and Herc went home. I headed up to bed that night a lot more confident. After the last couple days, there was no way the sisters would be stupid enough to try coming around the house again. I drifted off to sleep quickly.

Morning came and I bolted out of bed, happier than I had been. I took a nice, long shower. (much to DeShaun’s dismay). After finally allowing him the bathroom, I went in and got dressed for school. I put on some tight black leggings, with a red tartan plaid skirt, and a loose fitting long sleeved tee. A couple barrettes in my hair, and my black and white chucks.

I hurried down to breakfast and had some grape-nuts and bananas. DeShaun noticed I was happy, and he came over and kissed my cheek. Mom and Dad pretended not to notice, and we walked to school together.

I reached the door to History class, and was pounce-tackled by a small fast-moving black and purple streak. I hugged Luna and walked back to our desks with her.

“I heard the sisters tried something yesterday, I was so scared.”, she said and I noticed she was crying.

I patted her on the head gently. “It’s okay. Dad called my Aunt Maggie, and she brought her K9 Partner Hercules over and they stayed with me. Amy and May did drop by, probably to try to scare me. But I think the sight of my aunt with a large German Shepherd scared them away.”

Luna giggled. “I’d have loved to have seen that.”

I laughed along. “Well, Aunt Maggie will be at the Party this weekend, I’m sure you’ll hear all about it.”

We settled into our desks, and Mr. Hedges came in and started class.

The day rolled by, and lunch came quickly. I walked to the cafeteria, arm in arm with DeShaun. We soon came upon Janie, at our normal spot. The poor dear looked like a wreck, she had bags under her eyes that made her look like a raccoon, and she was slumped over the table.

I sat down beside her, and rubbed her back. She let out some whimpery noises and pokes at her salad, managing to eat most of it.

“Poor Janie.” I said sympathetically.

She looked up. “It’ll be your turn before too long.”, She moaned before laying her head back down on the table.

I certainly wasn’t looking forward that part of being a girl. I had an appointment this afternoon with Mom’s gynecologist. I was a ways off yet, not even being fully formed down there. But I was getting closer. Still bleeding and cramps and everything Janie was going through seemed scary. I propped her up during Biology class, and rubbed her back when she napped during Study Hall.

The Rest of the day went by pretty fast, you know how it does that when there is something that scares you at the end. The appointment.

After the final bell, I headed to the office and met up with Mom. She was standing outside the office, with a big smile on her face. She looked beautiful. I know they say that the ‘glow’ isn’t real, but Mom had it. Her skin and hair seemed brighter, and her smile radiated. I couldn’t wait to meet my little brother, though that was still a LONG ways away.

We got into the Cayenne and drove on. Getting out at the clinic, I hid behind Mom. We walked into the reception area.

Mom stepped up and spoke to the woman at the desk. “We have an appointment. A referral from Doctor Foster for my daughter to see Dr. Shayes, under the name Casey Church.”

Nervously I went in when I was called, Mom stayed in the reception area.

I was led in by a tall male nurse. I learned his name was Nurse Jim. He was at least 6’8”, and huge. He was built like a pro wrestler. Just the sort of nurse you want for your first gyno exam.

I relaxed after he took my blood pressure and vitals. He had me step on a scale and then I had to stand in front of a height chart. My statistics were all the same, 5’4”, and 112 Lbs. Nurse Jim led me to an exam room, and told me to get comfortable, and that the Doctor would be in shortly.

I sat nervously, waiting. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a couple minutes, the Doctor walked in. She was perhaps 5’9”, and gorgeous. Her blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. She had on glasses, and looked like a supermodel. With her lab coat and skirt she looked professional, but naughty.

“I’m Doctor Shayes, but you can call me Kim, if it makes you feel more at ease.”, she stated in a neutral tone.

I looked at her and smiled meekly. If I were still packing, I’d have a major boner right now.

“If you hop up on the exam table, I’ll take some ultrasounds, so we can see how you are progressing.”, she said in that same tone. I did as she said, and she slid up my shirt, to expose my stomach. I hated the gel, but I sat through it patiently. The Doctor looked at the image intensely.

“Well, looks like you are still about a month or so from your first ovulation, based on your growth.”, she said to me, in a way that made my heart skip a beat. So embarrassing.
“Have you been experiencing any mood swings, anxiety, depression, or sudden outbursts of uncontrollable crying?”, she asked, as she looked at a clipboard.

I nodded uncomfortably, laying there. When Kim um.. Doctor Shayes let me sit up, she went to the foot of the table and lifted up some attachments at the foot of it. I looked nervously at them.

“There’s a paper gown over on the tray table, I’ll give you some privacy to put it on.”, she stated nonchalantly, as she stepped out of the room. I looked at the flimsy garment and swallowed hard. It’s strange. Even though I was more girl at the end than boy, I felt more comfortable with Doctor Foster. But now that I was a girl, I suppose I need to work on that.

I stripped my clothing off, and put on the drafty gown. I heard a knock soon after.

“C...come in.”, I squeaked.

Dr. Shayes came in, and nodded to me. “Please lay down on the table and put your legs up in the stirrups.”, she said.

I sighed and did as asked, turning beet red. She moved over to where I couldn’t see her, and I heard the snap of rubber gloves.

“I’m going to give you an exam. If you feel uncomfortable or scared at any time, please tell me, and I’ll stop.”, she said softly in a gentle voice.

I nodded and replied. “O...okay”

I felt her fingers down below, examining me.

“You may feel something cold and metallic, and might feel some stretching or pinching. Don’t worry. That’s normal. I’m going to be using a tool called a speculum to check you out. If it gets to feel unpleasant, please let me know.”, she said from somewhere at the foot of the table.

I laid there, my eyes clamped firmly shut ans she poked and prodded, the cold instrument slipped inside and I felt myself spreading. It hurt a little, and I winced, but not enough to stop. After a couple minutes she was done.

Dr. Shayes spoke again, “If you could sit up please, I’ll raise the head of the table, so I can check your breasts.”

I did so, covering up my lap as best as I could, while slipping out of the top of the gown. Dr. Shayes leaned over to examine my breasts, and I got a very clear look down her scrub top at hers, while she did.

“Okay, your breast tissue seems fully developed, and everything seems normal.”, she stated.

I sighed. “But they are so small, there are a couple of girls that make fun of me because of how flat I am. Is there anything I can do to make them grow?”

Dr. Shayes looked at me with sympathy. “I’m afraid not. But I know several members of your family, as my patients, and if you are anything like them, you will blossom like they did. It may just take a little longer in your case.”

I nodded. That was similar to what Dr. Foster had said.

I gulped and swallowed. “And… down there?”, I asked nervously.

She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. “Everything appears to be developing at a normal rate. I see no irregularities. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that externally, you will be fully changed by the end of next week. Internally though is a different matter. The uterus and ovaries are always the organs that take the longest to mature and are the last things to finish during the transformation. However, you appear to be proceeding normally in development there as well.”

I breathed easier, but I had more questions.

“Doctor Shayes, Um… when will it be okay? I mean to... you know? Have sex?”, I asked in a quiet voice.

“I see that you are on the pill to help regulate your change. I’ll recommend that you remain on it, if you are really certain you want to be sexually active. I recommend that you wait at least another week after your vagina finishes it’s growth. You should be okay to have intercourse after that. I do have to warn you though that once you begin ovulating, there is still a slight chance you can get pregnant, even if you are on the pill. And very importantly, remember that the pill does not prevent the spread of sexually transmittable diseases. If you feel you must have sex, remember to insist he use condoms.”

I nodded and blushed. “I...I will Doctor.”

She smiled at me, and nodded. “Now, I’ll step out to give you some privacy to change.”

She left the room and I quickly got out of the paper gown and back into my clothes. I was beet red when I caught up to Mom out in the waiting room. She was talking to Dr. Shayes about something, but I didn’t listen in.

When they were done, she came over and hugged me. Ready to go, Sweetheart?”, Mom asked.

I nodded emphatically, and we left. On the way home, Mom stopped at the Mall, and we got dinner for everyone from Subway, though Mom and I got something for ourselves from the Dairy Queen stand across the food court.

I sat in the car on the way back, slurping on the straw of my cheesecake blizzard. So many thoughts were swirling around in my head. Thoughts about cramps… darn you Janie for showing me how bad it was. Thoughts about my period ran through my head. I hope I’m not a gusher. Luna had taken some opportunities earlier to tell me horror stories of girls that had very heavy flows, and died or passed out. Intellectually, I knew she was playing jokes on me, but ugh, this girl thing really can truly suck.

~o~O~o~

Yes, Luna is a brat.

Anyhow, comments, questions, ideas? Let me know. I love your input.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 48

Trying to doze on the couch, I tossed and turned uneasily. Tomorrow DeShaun had another game. I knew the Wilder sisters were on suspension from school and from participating in Volleyball, but they were not banned from attending the football games, as they were open to all.

Mom had been grumbling about Amy’s suspension. She had wanted Amy off the team, but as a substitute assistant coach, she was voted down. I tried to not think about it too hard, rather I tried to shift my focus to Saturday, and the party. Mom had been working extra hard, setting up the pot luck and inviting friends and relatives. The friend list was very small, as I only really had three people I hung out with, and one of whom was living with us. I mentioned that I wanted Georgie to come, and she had sent him an invite, formally.

I thought about Georgie. She was going through a lot. She was in the early stages of the transition, her face and body only barely starting to show more feminine traits. I felt a responsibility to her, I had found her, I knew her. I had to help her.

I pulled out my phone and hit speed-dial.

“Janie, it’s Casey. I was sitting here thinking about Georgie. I invited her to the party, but I’m not sure she’s going to come. Have you spoken to her lately?”

Janie was silent, and I heard a darkly cute giggling in the background.

Janie finally spoke up. “I haven’t really, I was too bleh from my period. Now that the cramps have lessened, I suppose I should call her, or stop over.”

I heard Janie try to muffle the volume by presumably placing her hands over the mouthpiece. “Stop that! No… no! Not the arches! You fiend. Quit that.” Then she broke into a massive fit of laughing.

I sat there speechless, as the call disconnected. I’m sure I didn’t want to know. I was sure of one thing though. Those two might not yet realize it, but they were pretty much already a couple. But then again, DeShaun and I were a couple. Were we a pair of connected swingers couples? Trying to figure out the four of us would give me a headache. Then I grinned. Why bother?

I got up and walked upstairs, taking a long shower before bed. I sighed and snuggled up with my over-sized plush bunny. Since the change, I’m more of a feelsy, hands on person, I’ve noticed.

I fell asleep cuddling the bunny, warm and happy.

Waking up the next morning, I looked at the clock. My alarm was due to go off in 15 minutes, so I silenced it, and sat for a moment, just looking around my room. It was still rather boyish. I had to ask Mom and Dad about maybe painting it, once DeShaun was in Chicago.

I sighed when I thought of that. I was going to miss him, and tears flowed down my cheek. The new semester would start in December, and he’d be gone. Oh, I knew he would be back in the spring for the birth, and I’d see him in the summer, but it wasn’t the same. I touched the promise ring, and smiled. He was mine, no matter what the twins said.

Getting ready, I threw on a pair of navy tights, under some distressed blue jeans that showed off my legs and butt rather well. A gray long sleeve tee went under Mom’s jersey. I added a little flourish to the look with some red barrettes. I looked in the mirror at my hair, it was starting to get a little longer, growing out of the bob. Should I grow it longer?, I wondered.

I headed down to the kitchen. Mom was having a rough morning, apparently. I figured maybe she was coming into the morning sickness phase of her pregnancy. Of course, I didn’t officially know about it. But I did. I had been reading up the past few days, in preparation for becoming ‘big sis’. Additionally, this was now a tangible possibility for me down the road. Adding to that the fact that conceivably, my possible future step-son was gestating off at the psychiatric care facility. I had babies on the mind.

I was a little distanced from the desire that had overwhelmed me initially. In a way, I had a test baby coming next year. And if I broke him, I could tell Mom and Dad it wasn’t my fault. Joking! I’m joking!

I put some coffee in the machine, and puttered around. I hate coffee, unless it’s ice cream or candies. But I knew Dad would want some, and possibly DeShaun too. Mom was probably going to be a little irritable. I pretended to not have noticed that she no longer was having her morning cup.

I grabbed the wheat bread out of the fridge and started making toast. There was some white bread in there as well, but that was for making meatloaf. Mom’s influence, I suppose. We ate a little more healthy than the typical family, I suppose. I remember Dad once commenting on the little changes after they got married. Things like his protests about having miracle whip in the fridge, though Mom preferred mayonnaise. (To be totally truthful, so did I). The worst conflict of their newlywed days, apparently was the great chunky vs. smooth peanut butter debate. Though as with most things, Mom had prevailed and crunchy had been the family go-to ever since.

I sat mulling over such things, would DeShaun and I ever be like that? I know I’m thinking waaay too far in the future, but my new gender has made me more introspective, I guess. Barring some sort of injury or major life upheaval, he had plans to go to college. Even as a freshman, he was on the radar of major football programs.

Of course, I would want us to go to the same school. By the time We would enter college, the baby would be nearly four. I could take time off, and stay at home with him. Then once DeShaun graduated, I could go. As I sat there ruminating, the man himself entered the room. He went to the cabinet and got out the Wheaties. I chuckled internally at his choice of ‘The breakfast of champions’. Dad came down a short time later, followed by Mom. She looked half-dead, as she stumbled into the kitchen. She went over to Mr. Coffee, and was about to pour a cup of his boon. I coughed and she looked up, realizing what she was about to do. Mom sighed and walked to the fridge and got out some orange juice.

DeShaun and I looked up at the kitchen clock and after we finished our respective cereal choices, (mine having been raisin bran), we gathered our books and headed off to school. It was a little chilly, and my jacket didn’t completely help with that. Thoughtfully, DeShaun had noticed and took off his jacket, and draped it around me. That was another thing that sucked. After the semester, With DeShaun gone, we couldn’t participate in the old high school tradition of the ‘girlfriend wearing the boyfriend’s letter jacket’, as he would likely not get one for here. It made no sense for him to buy a jacket after the semester was over, to put one season of patches on, and then have to buy another for spring sports and the rest of his years at his new school.

I sighed, and moved closer to him. He put his arm around my shoulders, and we walked together into the school. Parting after the morning locker visit, we headed out separate ways, I reached home room and saw Luna sitting there like the black cat that ate the canary.

“So, have fun tormenting Janie’s arches?”, I asked as I sat beside her.

Luna giggled and laughed. “Can I help it if she has ticklish feet?”, she stated in an attempt to defend herself.

I looked at Kitten and spoke up. “You know, I’ve been watching you two. And as much as I love you both, you really need to ask her to be your girlfriend… or she, you.”

Luna stared at me blankly, then I saw her pale cheeks turn bright red. “T...trying to get rid of me?”, she questioned.

I laughed. “I don’t think I could at this point, even if I wanted to.”, I stated, then followed that up with a raspberry.

We both sat and laughed until Mr. Hedges came in and the bell rang.

When lunch rolled around, I sat in the usual spot. DeShaun was late, as Coach Grant had needed to talk to him about last minute things. Janie plopped herself down to my left. She looked better, the dark bags under her eyes had pretty much gone away.

“Feeling better?”, I asked.

She nodded and spoke, the cheerfulness back in her voice. “I seem to have quick but heavy periods, Mom told me that most of hers were fairly light but would last a whole week, sometimes a few days longer.”

“Oh, I hope for light and fast.”, I said with a little fear in my voice.

She looked at me, and laughed. “If that turns out to be the case, I think I’ll hate you forever!”, she said, following up with her giving me a raspberry. (Yes, we are in the cafeteria, but I don’t mean the fruit.)

“Oh, by the way, I was talking to your foot molester in first period. You really need to ask her to be your girlfriend, formally. I think she’d be over the Moon for that.”, I said, as I poked at my turkey sandwich.

Janie nearly choked on her milk. “What brought that on?”, she said after her coughing fit.

“Oh, I’ve just been watching the two of you. You love her, as much as you love me. But with her, it’s different. You don’t have to settle for being second fiddle. We can all be together still, but you deserve someone that loves you first and foremost.”, I stated, in a matter of fact manner.

Janie paused and sat there quietly for a while before responding. “You know, I do love you, and I always will. And not just because you were my first. But you might be right. I do need that, and I think she does as well. She doesn’t really talk about it much, but I can see she’s still hurting about Anthony.”

I nodded sadly. It was so unfair what had happened to her. She was so sweet, I can imagine her as Luke, resigned to the fact that nobody would want to be his girl. I had recollecting all the pictures I’d seen of her as Luke, he was just too small and delicate looking, not that much bigger male than she was now. She had been lucky she had met Anthony, she could have gotten someone abusive and ‘gung-ho macho’. They would be good for each other.

I sat and thought about the two of them, and then my mind drifted to someone else. I hadn’t seen him yet, but I wanted to see Georgie, and see how she was doing.

“Janie, did you talk to Georgie, at all?”, I queried.

“Yeah, she’s still struggling. She did mention that you invited her to the party. I’m happy you did that. She seems so lonely and confused. Her Mom and Dad are trying their best, and they are all in counseling, both family and individual, which is good.”

I nodded and went back to my sandwich, becoming a girl is so confusing and frustrating. Why did the occurrence have to happen?

~o~O~o~

I prefer crunchy, wheat bread, and mayo.

If you have questions, comments, ideas, or food preferences, please feel free to share.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 49

I sat in Study Hall, musing to myself about DeShaun, and what I’d wear to the game. Janie was sitting by my side, as usual. She seemed distracted though, and I think that was my fault. Luna had sent her a text a few minutes ago, but I wasn’t allowed to see it.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, I asked finally.

Janie sighed and looked over to me. “You stirred up the hornet’s nest. Luna wants to come to the game with us. She said she has something to talk to me about after school, too.”

Luna coming to the game was unusual, she wasn’t big into sports. I guess I really had stirred up something. I was afraid now. If they split up, how would we all handle it? I felt a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach.

Nah, if Luna was coming to the game, it had to be good. She wouldn’t dump us and join us. Unless this was a one final get-together thing? Was it? My stomach hurts.

Class ended and I slunk off to Home Ec. DeShaun shook his head when I explained everything.

“You should have left well enough alone. Meddling in the affairs of the heart can be dangerous.”, he stated.

I looked at him and then punched him in the arm. “What should I have done, Oh wise guru?”

He looked at me, bowed his head and started to laugh. Ok, I needed that. I was feeling a little better now. We kissed briefly, while the other students pretended not to look. Mrs. Beverly hadn’t seen it, of course. She was too busy writing on the whiteboard about emergency ingredient substitutes for recipes.

After Home Ec, DeShaun walked me to my locker, and I put my books away and got ready for Art.

Georgie was sitting at her workspace, eyeing up her clay pot. She looked up at me and then a big smile covered her face.

“I’m coming tomorrow, to your party, I mean. I talked it over with my Mom and Dad. I hate what happened to me, but after talking to Janie and with the support you have shown me, I think I can at the very least accept what I’m becoming.”, she stated in a happy manner.

I looked at her and smiled back. “Good.”, I said. “I had trouble coming to terms with my change, and I still do occasionally, but what is done is done, and I can’t change it, so I might as well make the best of it.”
We talked a little, and helped each other with our projects. I knew Georgie would still have it hard, but at least she was making baby steps. When the bell rang, I gave her a hug and told her I would see her the next day.

I walked home alone, not fearing the twins. They had clearly gotten the message that stalking me and staking out the house would get them in trouble, and that I was no longer intimidated by them doing it.

I entered the house and put my bags down. The game wasn’t until 7PM, so I had a few hours to kill. I wandered over to the phone, and saw there were a bunch of messages. I hit play, and listened to the first one.

“Hello?”, the unmistakable voice of Grandma Casey said. “Our flight will be landing at 2PM. We are checked in at the Mariot, by the airport. We’ll pop in for a visit around 4. See you then.”

I squealed and looked at the clock. It was almost 3:15, so 45 minutes until Nana and Pop-Pop would be here!

I checked the other calls, there were a couple from other relatives, calling to check on the time of the party.

I called them back, confirming for each one. It was somewhat awkward, none of them recognized me.
The girl’s voice threw them. Heck, it sometimes throws me, still.

I fixed a little snack, ants on a log. If you don’t know what that is, it’s peanut butter on celery, with raisins, one of my absolute favorite quick munchies.

I was walking from the kitchen back to the living room, when I heard the doorbell. Gotta be Nana and Pop-Pop.

I rushed over and looked through the window, and saw them. I opened the door, and smiled. They looked at me confused, and then checked the house number.

“Um, excuse me Miss. I’m sorry. This is my Daughter’s house. Who are you, exactly? And why are you here, in their house?”, Nana said, somewhat confused.

I shook my head and sighed. “Nana, don’t be silly. It’s me. Casey!”

Nana leaned in closer and looked at me, scrutinizing my face. “Casey? I’m so sorry. I didn’t recognize you! Please forgive your silly old Nana.”

I laughed and hugged her. “It’s okay. I know Mom probably forgot to send you pictures.”

Pop-Pop came over and hugged me too. “So, you kept the name?”, He said with tears in his eyes.

I smiled and laughed. “Of course I did. Casey works as a boy’s or girl’s name. And I love you both so much. How could I not?”

I led them inside. “You must be tired after the flight. How are things in Arizona. Pop-Pop still terrorizing the golfers?”, I said with a smirk.
Nana Casey laughed and retorted. “Only thing scared of his golf game are the birds and the critters that live in the rough and the sand traps.”

Pop-Pop looked at us both and sighed. “Women.”, he said with a sigh.

“Casey dear, when will your parents be home? We want to take you all out for dinner.”, Nana asked as she looked around.

I squirmed. “Erm… Mom is still over at the school. She’s been substituting for a teacher that tore up their knee. Plus I think she’s staying to help with concessions at the game. Speaking of. I’d love to join you for dinner, but… um… well… my boyfriend is playing in the game, and I promised I’d be there. Plus a couple of my friends are going to meet up with me there.”

Pop-Pop looked over. ‘Oh, that’s no problem. We love a good football game, don’t we Evelyn?”

Nana nodded and replied. “Sure do, and snacks and drinks are on us. No arguments. When’s the game?”

“Not til 7:00.” I said, somewhat flustered. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to go change. I’ll be right down. Feel free to raid the fridge, if you are thirsty.”

As I was heading up the stairs, I happened to overhear them, as the evidently thought I was out of range.

“She sure is a pretty young woman.”, Pop-Pop commented.

Nana then spoke up. “She is quite the little heart-breaker, that’s for sure.”

I smiled and blushed as I went up the remainder of the stairs.

I threw off my outfit and stood in front of the mirror, and looked at myself. It just emphasized that I didn’t take after Nana or Mom, certainly not in the bust. Nana wasn’t as tall as Mom, but she was still at least 5’8”, and those same Nordic features, the blonde hair and blue eyes were very prominent. I was again reminded that I got my height, hair, and eyes from Dad’s side of the family. Can’t say that I got the bust from there either though, as Grandma Church and all the women on that side of the family were also ‘gifted’ with large busts.

I sighed and went downstairs. I sat with Nana and Pop-Pop, listening to stories about their retirement. Nana was trying to cultivate roses, which sounded very difficult to do in Arizona. There were plenty of stories about golfing, and long walks , and romantic sunsets. I sighed, picturing DeShaun and I someday being married and doing all sorts of wonderful things.

I didn’t know how long I had spaced out for, because next I remember was Nana gently tapping my shoulder.

“Casey dear, there are a couple of girls at the door. Should I let them in?”, she asked.

“Is one a tiny girl with long black hair, and the other a pretty girl with blue eyes and freckles?”, I inquired.
Nana nodded.

“That’s Janie and Luna, let them in. They are my best friends.”, I smiled when I said it, and Nana gave an understanding grin.

Janie came in, She had on a black pleated skirt, black leggings, and purple chucks. A black hoodie with a picture of some anime girl on the back, and a pair of dark shades.

Luna was giggling. In contrast, she had on purple leggings, black shorts, and a plain purple hoodie a pair of purple chucks completed the ensemble.

“Janie, Luna dresses you funny.” I said, trying not to let out a laugh.

“Yeah, well. I couldn’t resist the big, sad puppy dog eyes. And when She asked me to be her girlfriend, I kind of forgot to pay attention to what she was handing me to put on.”, Janie sheepishly replied.

Introductions were made, and we all walked to the school. I saw Mom standing by the gate, and motioned to Nana. She nodded and both her and Pop-Pop snuck over. Coming up on Mom, they both wrapped her up in a hug.

Nana looked Mom up and down and squealed. “Congratulations! But why didn’t you tell your father and I?”, she exclaimed in a serious voice.

Mom looked at me. “You told them?”, she said with a clear frown.

Nana laughed and waved it off. “She didn’t have to. I could tell by how you are glowing. If your face was any brighter, you could light up the whole field.”

Janie and Luna looked at me in puzzlement, then I could tell they got it, once the recognition slowly crept across their faces.

Mom sighed. “We were waiting for the party, to announce it. Nobody was supposed to know. Officially Casey doesn’t even know. So if you can all keep it a secret… please?”, Mom implored everyone gathered around her.

We all nodded and agreed.

Mom looked at her parents. Pop-Pop was a large man, even at his age, he was still tall and muscular. Looking at him, if you had seen pictures of Mom before her change, you would definitely see the resemblance. She still had the athletic build that she had gotten from him, but Nana’s features were more apparent now.

We all walked to the concession stands, and scooped up all the popcorn, pretzels, hot dogs, and chips we could carry. Luna carried the drink tray, filled with soft drinks and coffee and cocoa. Sitting down in the bleachers, Nana leaned in as we watched the boys out on the field warming up.

“So, where’s your young man?”, shew asked me.

I blushed and pointed out towards mid-field.
“There he is, DeShaun is number 17.”, I said, beaming with pride.

Nana spoke next. “My, he certainly is handsome. Of course, Casey women always pick the best man available.”

Mom and Nana laughed at that, and I sat there beet red. Luna and Janie were on my right, cuddling under a black and red plaid blanket. The family was on the left.

Mom sighed. “It’s a pity your father had to miss this. But he wanted to get done with his briefings tonight, so he’d be all yours for the party.” she explained.

I sighed, but in contentment. It would be perfect for Dad to be here, but still. My friends were with me, I had a ‘handsome’ boyfriend. And my Nana and Pop-Pop were here, and they thought I was beautiful.

~o~O~o~

Yum. Ants on a log.

I love comments, questions, and ideas., drop yours in the comments. Or tell me your go-to healthy snack.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 50

I laid on the couch, snuggled up against DeShaun. Mom and Dad had gone to bed already, and Nana and Pop-pop were back at their hotel. Janie and Luna were staying over at Janie’s house tonight. The game had ended on a field goal by the other team, and we had lost 27-24. DeShaun had of course been brilliant, making several difficult catches. Afterwards, everyone had gone out together for Chinese. There were lots of questions from Nana and Po-pop towards DeShaun about me, and I felt like disappearing under the table.

After dinner mercifully ended, we came home and here we are, snuggling. I sighed and pressed closer to him, purring to myself. He was so strong and handsome. I was so lucky.

“Penny for your thoughts”, DeShaun said suddenly.

“I was just thinking what a lucky girl I am”, I said as I snuggled closer to him.

He stroked my hair and gently asked the question. “What’s it like?”

“Hm? Becoming a girl, you mean?”, I asked.

“Yeah.”

“It’s scary as hell. You think you know yourself. Who you are, what you want. But then all that changes so suddenly. Your body starts to change into something you don’t recognize. New feelings and emotions begin to flood your brain and body. You feel like you are becoming something alien. It scared me at first when I realized that I was becoming attracted to boys. Your whole world turns upside-down. I wasn’t the most masculine boy around. But now even the old me seems alien. I catch myself looking at Mom, and thinking someday I’ll be having a baby. And that scares the hell out of me.”, I reply softly.

DeShaun pulls me closer into a hug. “I’m sorry for doing this to you”, he says sadly.

I pull myself up and lean in, giving him a deep, passionate kiss. “Don’t be, I would do it all again. I love you and don’t want to not be in love with you.”, I say as I stroke his cheek.

We lay there snuggling for a while longer, before we eventually wander up to our separate rooms for the night.

I woke up early, the party was today and I was excited. I threw on a nice royal blue skirt that came down to just above the knees, some cute ankle socks and my black chucks. I opted for a beige shirt, and over it, I put on a wool sweater with a cute high loose turtleneck collar. It was starting to get nippy, as October was clearly upon us.
We had a light breakfast, as the food for the party would be more than enough to satisfy even the most healthy appetite. I sat down on the couch, and DeShaun joined me, but there was considerably less snuggling going on, as we weren’t alone this time.

After a little while, Dad got up and dragged DeShaun off to help with the backyard. Mom was left alone with me, as she wasn’t allowed to help, despite her protestations. I could see her point. Decorating the yard wasn’t risky for the baby. The baby… I’m going to be a big sister. The sheer thought of it still made me happy. I honestly never thought that I would be able to say that. I was their supposed “miracle baby”, and they never thought that Mom could conceive another.

This time next year, I’d have a little brother to fuss over. Then I thought about it. DeShaun would be gone. And he would have a son of his own to deal with. I would be forgotten. Abandoned. I didn’t notice I was crying until Mom came over and sat down beside me.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”, she asked me, as she gently wiped away the tears.

I snuffled and answered, as I fought back the tears. “This time next year, DeShaun will be gone, and he’ll be busy with his own baby. I love him so much mom. It hurts to think about. It hurts.” I started to sob, and Mom patted her lap, and I laid down, placing my head there while she stroked my hair and told me that everything would work out.

I tried to believe her, but it was hard. Our moment was interrupted by the doorbell. I wiped my eyes, and got up to answer. I opened the door, and was engulfed in a hug by Pop-pop. Nana side-stepped around us and came in. Before I could close the door, Hercules came through. Aunt Maggie wasn’t far behind, of course.

“Hey there birthday girl!”, she said as she put down a large package. I knew it was for me, but I looked at it curiously.

“You might want to open that right now”, she suggested, looking over at Mom. Mom nodded and I hurriedly opened the cardboard box. It had holes on it, but I couldn’t see in very clearly. When I managed to get the top opened up, I squealed.

It was a puppy! A cute little puppy was snoozing in the box. I lifted it up and looked at it. It clearly looked like Herc. I looked over at Aunt Maggie.

“Her name is Poppy, and yes, Herc is her dad”, She told me. “I talked to your mom and dad about this, and they felt you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a dog. Plus when She is old enough, I’ve arranged for her to go to a trainer nearby that specializes in guard dog training. You don’t need to worry about bullies anymore.”

I hugged Mom and Aunt Maggie and picked up the sleeping cutie. She opened her eyes, and licked my nose, her tail wagging excitedly.

I took Poppy out back and showed her off. Everyone thought she was adorable. I handed her off to mom, and went back inside. The doorbell was ringing again.

I opened the door and there was my uncle Ted. Uncle Ted is Dad’s younger brother. Dad and he get along okay, but he looks down on Dad… literally. Having gotten the height that Dad lacks, he kind of rubs Dad’s face in it.

“Hi, I’m here for my nephew’s party. You must be Casey’s girlfriend. He certainly did pick a cutie!”, He says. Apparently nobody told him.

I sigh and let him in. “Uncle Ted, everyone is out back.”, I say.

He looks at me, then squints. “Casey?”, he asks uncertainly.

I nod, and he practically trips over his tongue apologizing.

I wonder who else will be coming that is out of the loop. Watching Uncle Ted scurry out back, I sigh and get ready to close the door when two much more welcome guests appear. I smile and hug Janie and Luna and usher them in.

I lead my besties out back and they squee and fall all over themselves petting and hugging Poppy.
I watch as uncle Ted goes over to Dad and has a few words. Dad laughs and Ted drops his head. I giggle to myself quietly and go back inside.

Mom is in the kitchen getting food out and Luna has joined her in helping. I look around for Janie, and then see her coming in. Since I’m the birthday girl, I’m not allowed to help, even though I ask several times.

More guests arrive and I excitedly open the door for Grandma and Grandpa Church. It’s not that I don’t love them as much as Nana Church and Pop-pop, it’s just that well… Dad’s parents are a lot more… old school, I guess.

“Gran! Gramps!”, I excitedly squeal as I hug them. They hug me back, then gran does the whole ‘let me look at you’ thing, where she pulls away and looks me up and down.

“Poor dear”, she says. “I see the boob fairy is late in arriving.” I stand there gob-smacked and her stern face cracks and she starts to laugh. She pulls me back in and hugs me tightly.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m only teasing. I was late to that particular party myself”, she reassures me. I blush, as Gran certainly didn’t miss said party, and even hung around for extras, I think.

I show them in and accompany them to the back yard. As everyone mingles, I take the opportunity to sit and pet Poppy, as she jumps into my lap. Such a cutie. More people filter in. Uncle Mark- Mom’s baby brother- arrives with his brood. My cousins John, Paul, George, and Richard. Yes, they apparently get teased about that constantly, so I don’t start in. As I sit, John approaches me.

“I had heard, but I couldn’t believe it. How could you?”, He states with an angry look on his face. “You traitor. Why did you do it? Why did you allow someone to shove their dick up your ass?” I sit there floored, unable to speak. For his part, he storms off to the opposite side of the yard.

I sniffle and put Poppy down, quietly I make my way upstairs. Upon entering my room, I flop down on the bed and the waterworks begin. Damn hormones. I hate this.
After a few minutes, I hear a knocking on the door. “Can I come in?”, Mom asks through the door.

I mumble my permission, and she comes in and sits down next to me.

“What happened?”, she asks gently.

I relate what happened and she strokes my hair. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. I think that he’s afraid, is all. Soon it’ll be time for him, and he’s scared. Just remember you are not a traitor, you are a lovely girl that has friends and family that care deeply for you. Now, there’s a backyard full of people that feel that way, Let’s go down and join them, shall we?”

I nod my agreement and fix my face. After some cold water and wiping, the puffiness has gone away and I head down. I walk out to the backyard. I see DeShaun, and head over to him. Curiously, his sister is here for some reason, I didn’t even know she was in town.

Apparently he didn’t either. “Stephanie! I didn’t know you were in town. What brings you here?” I ask out of concern.

She smiles. “I came to bring DeShaun some good news, but seeing as it’s your birthday party… I guess it’s a present for you as well. My husband and I have been talking, and with everything going on with my brother, and my nephew-to-be, we’ve decided to relocate back here this summer. I’m here now to work on details with your parents for DeShaun to stay for the remainder of the school year.”

I look at DeShaun, and he looks back at me, and then we both wrap his sister up in a large hug.

“You mean it?”, he asks. “I get to stay here?”

His sister nods, and I hug him. We go over to the patio bench and sit, holding hands. Soon though I’m swept off for official birthday girl duties. I make the rounds, greeting everyone, and having small talk. I notice that Georgie is here, sitting with Luna and Janie. They are playing with Poppy. Thinking about everything, I am lucky after all. Remembering John, I look around, but he seems to be hiding. I’ll have to track him down at some point and have a talk with him. I’m still hurt, but I can forgive him. And maybe, just maybe I can reassure him that if he ends up a girl, it might not be the end of the world. It certainly is the beginning of a whole new one for me.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 51

I sat on the couch, DeShaun snuggled against me, nibbling on my ear. Mom and Dad were busy cleaning up after the party. It had gone well, though I was still a little sad that my cousin had been so angry. I know it wasn’t his fault. He was scared, but still, it hurt. I reached my hand down and Poppy licked it and gave a little ‘woof’.

I could understand how scary it was to think about it, the uncertainty. Even now, I sometimes feel the regret that I hadn’t been able to stay a boy. But then I think of all I gained. Nuzzling against DeShaun’s chest, I felt … safe. A safety that I would not know as a scrawny, undersized boy. I had a protector, and more than that, I had courage. Tomorrow Would be my first day at the dojo. I was nervous about that, but I also had a strange confidence, one my male self never had. I don’t know when I drifted off to sleep, but I vaguely remember being carried up to my bedroom.

***

I woke up refreshed. I was in my pajamas, and I was sure Mom had done that. I know DeShaun had carried me up though. When Mom announced the big news about the baby, there were so many people that hugged her and gathered around her, it almost felt like her party. I didn’t mind though. I would have a baby brother, and with the news that DeShaun would be staying, I had so much to look forward to.

I stretched and dug through my closet, selecting a pair of black lycra workout pants. I slipped them on, then realized that I had very visible panty lines. Pulling them off, I sighed and dug out a thong. I had only worn a pair of ‘butt-floss” once before, but I would have to do it today. With that, I paired a black sports bra, and a green tank top. A matching green scrunchie held back my hair in a small ponytail. It was getting longer, and I was debating letting it grow to mid back or shoulder length. The Pixie was cute, but I wanted to try new things.

Putting on my sneakers, I headed downstairs. Mom was sitting at the table, having a grapefruit and some bacon. I shook my head at the unusual pairing.

“Don’t laugh kiddo. Some day you might be where I am, and the urge for something weird might hit you.”, she said as she shook her spoon at me.

My breathing hitched for a second as the impact of that statement hit. I might be pregnant some day. Sure I had thought about it many times before, but the immediacy of the moment put that forefront in my mind. I got a picture of myself, perhaps a little older, but with a big ol’ belly. Still no boobs though. Darned Self-image.

I shook off the thought and grabbed a grapefruit of my own and cut it in half, sprinkling some sugar on it.

After breakfast, we hopped in the car, Mom and I. I was a little nervous, but Mom smiled at me and reassured me that it would be alright. In about 5 minutes we arrived at the dojo, a nondescript storefront in a modest-looking strip mall.

“Is this really the place?”, I asked as I looked at it. Mom Nodded and we got out of the car. I walked tentatively up to the door and entered. There was a small desk up front, and a man was sitting there. He was wiry looking and slender. I looked around as Mom talked to him. There were gym mats on the floor, and mirrors on all the walls. A punching bag was suspended in one corner, and a speed bag in the other. There was a distinct hum from the fluorescent lights.

The man slid his chair out and stood up, and my jaw dropped. He was tall. And when I say tall, I mean TALL. He was easily close to seven foot tall, and his long frame was spidery and lithe. Watching him approach, I got the sense of fluidity and precision in his motion. Grace and strength personified.

I watched the tall, black man with his shaved head as he came over. He stooped down to look me in the eye.

“I am Marcus Wright. You may call me Sensei, Mr. Wright, Sir. You’ll find that we are pretty relaxed here about the martial arts doctrine here. My strategy is to teach you how to survive when you are given no option but to fight. Your discipline is up to you. You will get out of this only as much as you put into it.”, He said with a smile.

I nodded and spoke. “Yes Sensei!”

Sensei Wright grinned and motioned me to the mats. “Today is just an informal meeting to get a sense of your strengths and weaknesses, warm up and I’ll see what we can come up with in that regard.”

I nodded again and started with some simple stretches. Gradually getting more limbered up. After a couple minutes I stood and faced him. He nodded and led me over to the heavy bag.

“I’m going to have you show me what you know. Treat this bag as your attacker. Show me what you can do.”, he stated. Looking at me, and then over to Mom, he paused and spoke slowly and clearly. “Usually, when working with female students, I have one of my senior female students here to assist me. I might need to occasionally touch you to get you into a better posture or position. Rest assured that I have no motives, as far as touching you. A teacher and student should have a bond of trust. If at any point you feel uncomfortable during any lesson, please let me know and I will have someone else work with you for that session.”

I nodded again, that seemed quite reasonable. I demonstrated what Aunt Maggie had taught me, and Sensei Marcus adjusted, my stance. He moved my feet apart and showed me how to generate power from the hips and to put that power into punches.
We worked out for close to an hour, and I learned quite a lot. I was given a list of videos to find and watch and a couple books that might help me with the fundamentals.

I left the dojo, with the promise to work on what I learned for the next class.
Arriving home, I took a nice long shower. My increased flexibility as a girl surprised me when I had been asked to see how High I could kick. When I managed to kick my foot up over my head, I was stunned. I thought about this as I lathered up the body wash. Sure, I had done front and side splits before while experimenting, but I never really thought about it t this degree. DeShaun has commented on my wide hips on several occasions, but I ran my hands down my body, feeling them. Mmmm… If I could manage to get anything up top, I’d be a knockout.

After I finished my shower, I put on some tight jeans and a sexy tee with a v-neck. Of course I don’t have any cleavage to display, but I still wanted to show off a little. Walking past DeShaun as he reclined on the couch, I stretched and feigned a yawn. I could see his reflection in the window, and knew he was watching intently. I bent over and pretended to pull up my sock, all for his benefit.

I was sensing that he was starting to have a… predicament. I decided to spare him the embarrassment by coming over to the couch and snuggling up with him. Not a moment too soon, as Dad came in.
I sat snuggled against DeShaun, between his spread legs as we reclined sideways on the couch.

“Mmmmm”, I purred as I lay there, relaxing. I was kind of spent from my workout. “I love you” I whispered as he nibbled on my ear. Dad turned on the TV and watched the pre-game for the Vikings game. I feigned interest as DeShaun rubbed my tummy gently.

“Love you too, babygirl.”, DeShaun whispered. Dad glanced over. I know he heard, but he was kind enough to pretend he hadn’t. I closed my eyes and breathed softly, a couple times his breath on my neck made my breathing hitch for a second. I could hardly wait to be girl enough to love him in that way. The Doctor had said that likely by the end of the week or so I might be. And during my shower, I had experimented a little. I could barely get a couple fingers into myself.

Mom wandered into the room while I was daydreaming. She was looking over at me when I opened my eyes.

“You two know that since he’s staying, there will be some firm ground rules.”, she exclaimed. “Sweetie, I know you will be physically capable soon. Just talk to us you two, if things start heading that way. Remember, even because you are on the pill, that’s no guarantee…. and DeShaun, you are already going to be a father, don’t compound your problems. Teen pregnancy is perhaps the most difficult thing you could face. I know you want to go to college, and I hope that you can. But a baby takes a lot of time and money. Your sister loves you, and I’m sure they will help you as much as they can. We are here too, if you need… but if you knock her up, there will be Hell to pay.”

We both swallowed hard, and the gentle tummy rubs ceased... but I still felt his love and affection, just by being wrapped up in his strong arms.

Poppy wandered in from wherever she had been napping and hopped up on the couch with us. Dad looked at me, then sighed. “I suppose we can let her have couch privileges, so long as she doesn’t make a mess. Speaking of messes, I think she probably needs a walk.”

I sighed and got up, grabbing Poppy’s lead from the hanger in the entryway. I paused for a moment, then remembered that Mom said there would be plastic bags in the entryway closet from now on.
Grabbing a couple, I hooked the lead on my excited pupper’s collar. I looked back at DeShaun, who was enthralled in the football pregame. I sighed again and grabbed my jacket before heading out the door.

The leaves were just starting to come into their peak of colors, and I stopped while Poppy sniffed around a large oak. It had only been a little more than a month, but my life was changing in so many ways. It scared me to think that this was my new normal. Scared me but also exhilarated me. Had you asked me back in August about being a girl, and having a boyfriend, I would have gotten angry and stormed off, or I might have broken into tears. I don’t know. But strange is it seemed, a thought occurred to me. I liked who I was now, I liked being a girl. I maybe even loved it. No, I do love it, and I love it more than I ever thought possible.

After Poppy did what we were out here to do, I carefully disposed of the baggy in a trash can and continued to enjoy what nature had given me... both the beautiful day, and the beautiful new me.

Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 52

I woke up feeling strange, I moaned and rolled over. My eyes popped wide open as I felt the wet spot in the sheets. I didn’t… I couldn’t have. I shot up and noticed the panties I wore to bed were soaked. I took them off and stripped the bed quickly. I examined the bedding and my underwear and realized it wasn’t urine, I had soaked them with my juices. I threw on some sweats and tossed the bedding into the washing machine. There would be enough time for them to run through the washer, and fro me to toss them in the dryer before I had to go to school. If I timed everything right, I could get away with it and not get caught. Or so I thought. I rushed down the stairs, and Mom was in the living room. Busted.

Mom looked at me and then at the bedding. “Have an accident?”, she asked.

I looked at her, then looked at the bedding, and began to tear up. She came over and very carefully hugged me.

“My poor baby.” She said as she held me tight. “It’s all right this is perfectly normal. I thought you would have known this was coming, with all the books you’ve been reading. When a girl hits the point where her vagina is fully developed, She will have incidents where she might orgasm during the night. I remember how embarrassed I was when it happened to me. But you are okay. You are perfectly fine. After school, we’ll go see the gynecologist, if that will make you feel better.”

I nodded feebly, and mom took the bedding and spot-treated it, sending me up to take a shower. With that embarrassing situation taken care of, I thought about what she said. I examined myself closely, gently probing and touching my girlness. It was true, my vagina was completely changed. I was a girl in every way on the outside! After drying off, I ran back to my room, almost dropping my towel in excitement.

I squealed and went to the closet and got out a nice skirt and some lacy panties. I put on a lacy long sleeved top over my training bra. I glanced at DeShaun during breakfast, blushing and looking away whenever he would look over. We hopped in the car and I held his hand in the back seat as Mom drove us all. School went by slowly, as I sat in my classes fidgeting, and staring at the clock.

I told Janie and our little kitten at lunch and there was squealing and giggling as they officially welcomed me fully into the sisterhood. Hugs were plenty and I got more than my share. Whispers of what I could expect in the future were shared, and I blushed and shook a little thinking about my period. I probably had another month and then some to wait for that, but it was now a tangible thing to me.

I ducked the looks from DeShaun during Home Economics, too embarrassed in the naughty thoughts that I was thinking. The Doctor told me last time that even after the external changes, I’d still have to wait a little before I became sexually active. Mom had followed that up with the “I know you are on the pill, but remember that abstaining is still the best form of birth control” speech.

Still, I had plans. It might be that I was in an elevated state of horniness, but mmm... I still wanted to claim DeShaun as my own. Add to that my little Kitty and my beautiful Janie, and I was soo gonna be fucked like crazy.

Georgie was in Art, and I sat with her and rubbed her shoulders as she worked on her pottery. She smiled and returned the favor while I worked on my bowl. She was taking her changes a lot better now, and she was starting to be more noticeably female. Her breasts were already bigger than my own, darn it. She was easily a B cup. Her cheeks had gotten rounder and rosy. She was going to be really cute, and I think she realized it. When class ended, we hugged.

I waited by the curb for Mom. On the way to see the doctor, I sighed and looked at Mom. She was glowing and radiated a beauty that only a pregnant woman could.

“Mom, I’m scared.”, I said.

“What’s wrong Sweetie?”, Mom said in that motherly way that makes everything right.

“All these hormones going crazy, I look at DeShaun and I want to tear his clothes off and kiss him all over. I’m afraid of what happens if I can’t control myself.”, I said meekly.

“Oh sweetie. It’ll pass. You just need to hang in there. If DeShaun loves you, he’ll understand. Now, I don’t want to be a grandma yet, but if that happens your father and I still will love you.”

I blushed and hid my face, as I mumbled. “Thanks Mom, I love you too.”

We arrived at the clinic, and I waited out in the waiting room while Mom talked to the receptionist about her own appointments.
Pretending to read an old magazine, I looked around the waiting room at the girls my age that sat there, the pregnant women there for check-ups, and the women there for other reasons. When my name was called, I nervously entered the exam room.
The nurse came in and took measurements and took my temperature and blood pressure. After recording my information, he left. After several minutes wait, Dr. Shayes walked in and looked at my blood pressure and height and weight on her charts.

“Now Casey, I understand you’ve had some vaginal leakage, and arousal?”, she asked plainly. I nodded and she continued speaking. “Those are often the signs of your external changes having completed, but all the same, I’d like it if you could change into a gown and put your feet up into the stirrups.”

I nodded nervously, and went behind the curtain to change. I finished getting undressed and climbed back up onto the exam table, my ass hanging out of the awkward paper gown. Getting my feet into the stirrups, I swallowed my nervousness, and meekly said “ready”.

After a very cold probing with the speculum, and some entirely too awkward arousal, the examination was done.

“Don’t worry about your body’s reactions, it’s entirely natural. Your body is a swirling mess of hormones, and your new developing sexual organs are hyper-sensitive right now.” She said. “However from what I can tell, things appear to be relatively normal. Your clitoris has stabilized at its current size, Your labia is fully formed. The hymen is intact and developed.”

I nodded and swallowed at the implications.

“I would advise that while your exterior genitals are fully developed, I would still remind you that your uterus and ovaries are still in the process of changing. That being said, I would say that you have at most a week or two before they complete their changes. Additionally, with the increased sexual stimulation you are feeling right now, I would say that you should wait at minimum a few days before rushing into sex. I will keep your birth control prescription active. I will remind you though that abstaining is the best way to prevent pregnancy and possible STDs.” She stepped back and gave me the privacy to step behind the curtain to get dressed.

I put on my clothes and she led me to the waiting room.

“I will want to see you in 5 weeks.”,She said. Mom took care of the scheduling, as she was also planning her own appointment.

Hopping in the car, we drove home. I was silent the entire way, I was nervous but also giddy. I was a girl! I was totally a girl. Now if only I could grow the boobs already.

DeShaun was still at practice. I called Poppy, and she ran up excitedly. She was very good, as she sat still while I put on her harness and lead. Grabbing the scooper and some plastic bags, we headed outside. The leaves were falling, and the trees looked bare. It was getting into mid October and the feeling of Autumn was in the air. Poppy hopped about, examining every falling leaf and every stick. Eventually she did her business, and I scooped it up and bagged it.

Arriving home, I dumped the baggie into the garbage can outside, and we entered through the garage. I let Poppy off her leash, and took the scoop into the laundry room. I rinsed it under the sprayer in the washtub before hanging it on the hook to dry.

DeShhaun had gotten home and was sitting on the couch sideways, his legs stretched out. I motioned for him to spread his legs, and I climbed in between them and reclined against him. He wrapped his arms around me.

“How’d it go?”, he asked me, as I nuzzled against his chest.

“Scary, thrilling, confusing.”, I stated as I closed my eyes.

“I couldn’t even imagine what this whole thing has been like for you, I couldn’t ever do it.”, he said… then he realized what exactly he said, and fumbled for an apology.

I laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

“What… what’s it like?”, he asked.

“It’s so confusing. Before I met you, I was afraid of the rut. I was happy being a heterosexual male, but at the same time I was scared. Scared of the inevitability of the rut. The uncertainty. You saw me back then naked. I was short and not very masculine, not very strong. I figured I would have to be very lucky and find someone even more of a probable girl in order to stay male. So while I was happy being male, and I enjoyed having a dick to beat off while thinking of hot girls with big tits, it’s different now.”, I said with a slight sigh.

“I’m… I’m sorry”, DeShaun said sadly.

“Don’t be. I’m not sad about it. I am who I am now… and while I might have lost somethings, I’ve gained so much more. I thought that if I was lucky, I would maybe end up with a girlfriend. But now, I have two best friends that I treasure dearly and help me through the confusion of going from a heterosexual male to being a bisexual girl. I never would have thought that possible. I never thought that I could still find a girl to love me as a girl. But I have two that are special to me.”, I said.

I could tell he was about to say something, but I cut him off. “Even more importantly, I found my boyfriend. I never thought I wold love a boy. I thought I would resent you for doing this, but I don’t. Yes, all the changes to my body hurt and confused me. The hormones made me an emotional wreck. I don’t care. I got the most wonderful person of all out of this. And I got new insight. I don’t have to hate what I’m becoming, or be afraid of it. I can embrace it. I love being able to express my softer side. I don’t have to fear what’s coming. I can rejoice that the anxiety and the worry are in the past.”

With that said. I turned and gave him the biggest, most loving kiss I had ever given him, and as our tongues probed each other’s, I felt pure bliss. After a few minutes, we stopped, and I returned to snuggling in against his big, strong chest.

“Of course, having said what I did… I might still feel like hunting you down and cutting off your balls when my period starts”.

___________
End of Stuck in a Rut: Book One.