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The Road to Haifa
Copyright © 2008 Alyssa Plant
All Rights Reserved. |
Chapter 1 - The Break
Corporal David Yakobavitch slowly let out his breath and adjusted his rifle; his breath forming a light mist in the cold morning air. He was high in the mountains that formed the Lebanese border with Israel.
The sentry stood quietly several hundred meters away in the rocky land, quietly watching the wrong direction, blissfully ignorant of David’s presence.
Pulling the trigger, David felt the rifle kick back into his shoulder as the .308 round left his barrel and hurtled towards its destination. Through his scope, David watched the sentry’s head dissolve into a fine red mist and his body slump to the floor, rifle clattering away.
A tear rolled down David’s cheek as he racked the bolt and silently prayed to god for his forgiveness. As much as he was an experienced sniper, David felt great remorse each time he killed a man. Each time he fired his rifle in anger, David was releasing a little of his personal pain onto another, and It only increased his guilt.
“That’s a kill,” whispered Corporal Ari Weismann; David’s spotter and best friend since he had joined the IDF.
“They’re moving in now, our job is done. Pack up!” David replied, efficiently hiding his pain. David swept a lock of hair from his eyes and hooking it over his ear, pushed himself to his knees lifting his rifle with him.
David and Ari had been supporting Special Ops missions for over a year now, and as such had been required to have appearances that blended in somewhat easier than the standard buzcut of the IDF infantry.
The two men began to make their way down the mountainside on the friendlier side of the border. “You were crying again,” Ari stated matter of factly as he scanned the horizon with his Tavor rifle.
“So? It’s a powerful thing shooting people,” David shot back quickly. ”You, of anyone, should know taking a life through a telescopic lens isn’t like regular combat, we see them, so close, so clear, they aren’t shooting back, I pray to god for my sin. Man is man, religion, nationality aside, I don’t want to kill them, but I have to, it’s a job we must do for our country.”
Ari snickered. “You really think about this too much, stop justifying yourself.” He looked around at David. “You okay?”
David nodded weakly and broke eye contact.
The two trudged on down the mountainside before stopping in the cover of some rock formations to rest.
“So when are you going to tell me what’s up David?” Ari said lighting a cigarette and taking a deep drag. He exhaled the smoke and looked at David, fixing him with one of those piercing stares that he was unnervingly good at. "I’m not blind, David,” he half whispered.
Sighing, David lifted his guillie suit hood from his head, and pulled his water bottle from the pouch to avoid replying to his best friend since childhood.
Ari looked at David with an amused expression on his face.
”What?” David asked defensively.
“It really surprises me how you’ve changed since we enlisted.” Ari chuckled. “You know I get asked so often in the mess how I got paired with a female sniper…”
David looked at Ari, unsure as how to respond. ”Um …” he said intelligently.
“Then again, I’m beginning to wonder if they are wrong,” Ari mentioned as he inhaled again.
David blushed. “Pass me a smoke, Ari!” David lamely tried to avoid the topic at hand.
Ari threw the pack to David. ”You know, you really suck at changing the topic.” Ari laughed.
Lighting his cigarette, David looked at the ground, the sky, and then eventually his spotter. “Yeah I know.”
“How long have we been friends David? 3? 4 years?”
“Coming on 5 now.” David recalled, drawing on his cigarette.
”I’d have thought that I would have been one of the few people you could talk to …” David could hear the accusation hanging in Ari's voice.
A tear trickled down David’s cheek as he looked away from Ari for a moment to collect himself. He'd never thought it would be like this. “They aren’t wrong.” David blurted before he had chance to back out.
Ari stopped mid-inhale and looked at David. “Yeah, thought as much.” He said as if nothing had been said.
David looked at his best friend for a moment. “You aren’t mad?” he asked meekly.
“No.” Ari said flatly. "To be honest, we have been best friends years, and if anyone knows you, I do, and you have not been like any of my male friends since we first knew each other.” He laughed, “Somehow, part of me always knew you were a girl.”
“You’re far too emotional to be a guy for one!” Ari chuckled, catching the cigarette pack David launched at him. “Plus, the only people who think you are a man are the ones reading the reports and orders…” Ari laughed again. “You really haven’t looked like a man since we enlisted and had buzz cuts … even then, it was questionable.”
David smiled. For as long as he could remember, he had felt that there was some great injustice. He wasn’t a boy…. He was a girl. It seemed nature had conspired with his parents to bring him into the world as a male child, something that caused David a great deal of pain.
David had been spared most of the effects of puberty that befell his friends. His tanned skin was not cursed by hair, and his fine, feminine features often lead to men making passes at him in bars, something he secretly relished.
Since joining Special Ops, and having the grooming restrictions of the infantry removed in the sake of blending in. David had grown his hair back to its former glory in his teens. His wavy brunette hair fell down to the middle of his back, and glistened in the sun. Worn in a low male ponytail when around superiors, David always wore his hair in a high bun in the field, like other female soldiers did. Something his best friend had clearly noticed.
Both nearing their 21st birthdays, the two had enlisted in the Israeli army at 18, at the wish of their parents; something that had caused David much conflict. Having his hair cut on the first day of training had nearly caused David to kill himself with the grief of receiving such a male haircut.
Ari grinned, “So my friend. It appears we have not been properly introduced. My name … is Corporal Ari Peter Weismann.” He smiled, extending his hand to David. “And you my dear?”
David felt foolish playing around with his friend while they sat wearing full guillie suits and carrying rifles, but he and Ari had never taken things seriously. ”Um, S … Sarah,” David stuttered. “My name is Sarah.” She blushed.
Ari pushed his rifle around his back and approached Sarah, pulling her into a crushing embrace.
It was more than she could take, and the whole situation forgotten, Sarah broke down sobbing. She had told another living soul about her existence. She was free now. The pressure that had built up over the years was too much to bear, and she cried.
Ari held his sobbing friend close as she cried. He had felt this for a long time. Almost as long as he had known her. Something felt right now, an error was corrected in their friendship. The girl he had known all these years had finally admitted it. He felt a strong sense of protectiveness towards his friend. “I’m here for you, you know that, right?” he whispered soothingly to the sobbing girl in his arms.
Sarah looked up at Ari with a deer in the headlights look on her face.
“Nobody will hurt you, you’re my best friend, they have to come through me first.”
Sarah hugged her friend tightly. She still couldn’t quite believe she had told him, but it all felt so right now.
Separating, the two realised they still had a job to do. Getting home…
Sniffing, Sarah looked over at Ari. “Thank you.” She whispered, hooking an errant lock behind her ear.
Looking over at his surprisingly beautiful friend, Ari shook his head smiling. "Nah, thank you … You trusted me. I feel honoured to be the friend of someone so brave … Even if you do cry when shooting Arabs” he laughed and ducked Sarah’s swipe.
Chapter 2 to come…..
Please comment!
Chapter 2 — Revelations
After several hours walk, the two had reached the bottom of the foothills and began making their way out onto the flat scrubland of the valley floor.
Sarah hated this time of day, it was beginning to warm up, and the desert sun beat down relentlessly reflecting off the rocky surface of the desert.
Then again, she mused, guillie suits didn’t help things.
As they reached a bend in a dry river bed, Ari took a knee and turned to Sarah;
“This is the last checkpoint; I’m going to radio our ride, set up an observation point 100m out. That large rock looks good.”
Nodding Sarah climbed the bank of the river, and moved off to set up her OP.
It was unlikely that they would be followed, they were after all, on Israeli soil, but they had not survived this long being careless.
Steadying her rifle on a rock, she waited perfectly still. It felt strange. The whole world almost seemed more colourful today.
Had talking to Ari meant that much to her? She smiled to herself when she realised that she had been referring to herself in the feminine since their talk. Maybe things could work out?
The sunshine in her heart quickly became overcast. This wouldn’t change once she returned to base.
The army wouldn’t let her. Her family and friends wouldn’t all be as understanding as Ari.
Her earpiece crackled to life.
“Bird is 5 miles out, popping smoke, stay alert.” Whispered the digitised voice of Ari over the radio.
He was the rock in their pair. He had always been the strong one. Sarah wondered if she would have ever reached this point without him.
The cloud of green smoke drifted lazily in the slight breeze.
She heard the helicopter before she saw it. And began to move from her hide amongst the rocks.
By the time she reached Ari, the IAF Blackhawk was kicking up a cloud of dust as it came in to land amongst the scrub.
After climbing aboard the aircraft, the two snipers were finally able to relax. No operation was over till you reached home base of course, but being on the bird out was a good start.
Sarah became acutely aware that the crew chief was looking at her.
Not in a nasty way, but in a hungry way that made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Feeling herself going red, she raised her eyebrows and stared back in a universal ‘well what?’ gesture.
The crew chief grinned and laughed. “They never told us we were picking up such a pretty cargo.” He yelled over the sound of the rotors.
“Well I get told that so often.” Ari returned with a perfectly straight face that caused Sarah to dissolve into a fit of giggles.
Flying over the base perimeter was usually when Sarah prayed. But today there was too much on her mind. What was she returning to? Was it all false hope?
They were questions she couldn’t answer, and for now, it was best to suppress herself once more in the way she had learned since she was a child. It was best to bury yourself in your work and forget yourself. Maybe that was why she succeeded at anything she had done to date? Apart from one notable exception she grimaced.
David exited the Blackhawk and the two made their way back towards their area of the base.
The special operations teams were housed and operated from a separate part of the base to normal military personnel. They ate and socialised with the others, due to the nature of their work, most was conducted away from prying eyes.
Once safely back in their room, Sarah began to strip her rifle for cleaning. Like most things in her life, this was something simple she could throw herself into and forget her issues.
Ari looked across at his friend sat on her bed cleaning her baby.
He was surprised that he ever saw her as a male.
Her glossy hair was loose and flowed around her shoulders. The Tel aviv university tee-shirt she wore was several sizes too large, and came down past the shorts she wore. Her smooth tanned legs were so feminine, and womanly that Ari was at a loss as to how anyone saw her as a ‘David’. She looked every inch the type of girl he had dated in University.
“Sarah?” he asked quietly as he mindlessly rubbed the bolt of his rifle.
She looked up as if snapping from a trance. “What?”
“Have you thought about what you’re gonna say to people? Or who?” he mused aloud.
“Um, I hadn’t really thought about it.” She replied biting her bottom lip. “Maybe I’ll talk to the CO later, and then some of the girls first, get some people onside… I just know I can’t go on like this.” She said putting down her rifle parts.
“It’s just so hard now. You opened the flood gates.” She answered, hugging herself and rocking slightly.
“I’m sorry.” Ari said. “I just needed my friend back, and wanted them to be happy. I realise its hard, but you needed to do this. What’s that expression? ‘A problem shared is a problem halved?’” He grinned.
Sarah shook her head and smiled. Ari loved his Americanisms.
She slid her rifle back together and placing it on the rack, dragged on a pair of combat pants and tied her hair in a low ponytail.
“I’m going to do it now before I loose the confidence.” She grimaced. “Wish me luck huh?”
Ari came over to her and hugged her tightly.
”You can do it.” He whispered. “The Colonel will be ok, I have a feeling. Just don’t turn all pink on me ok?”
Punching him lightly on the arm she smiled. “Don’t worry, there is more chance of um, how do you say it? Pigs jumping through hoops?” she replied tentatively.
“Flying, but close” he grinned. “Knock them dead my friend.”
Sarah gave Ari a quizzical look before shaking her head and closing the door.
That spark of confidence she had felt when Ari hugged her had vaporised quickly.
Each step she took closer to their commanding officer’s door.
Before she could go over things in her mind she was there.
Shamira Cohen was at her desk by the door as usual.
Smiling at the Commander’s assistant she walked upto his door and knocked. None of the special operations personnel ever went through official channels.
“Enter” resonated from within.
Steeling herself, she pushed open the door and walked in.
Colonel Mathias was seated behind his large desk, most of which was invisible below a raft of papers and reports.
“Ah Corporal Yakobavitch; Take a seat.” He smiled gesturing at one of the chairs that faced his desk.
Sitting David paused to collect his thoughts, unsure of where to begin.
“I trust this morning went smoothly on your end?” He enquired whilst sifting several piles of papers.
“Um, yes sir, nothing untoward. Um, I’m actually here about something personal. I was wondering if you could spare a few moments?” David asked tentatively.
The colonel stopped what he was doing and looked up.
“Of course. What’s on your mind my boy?”
“Um, I’m sorry, I’m not sure where to start, but I’m having problems and…” David trailed off.
He could feel his heart beating inside his chest. It felt like such a good idea moments ago, but now he wasn’t even sure he could say the words.
“I’m a girl.” She blurted before she could stop herself.
Colonel Mathias stared intently at David. Neither said anything for a moment.
“Well your service record states otherwise. Do you want to elaborate?” The colonel answered with a slightly confused expression on his weathered face.
David took a deep breath and collected his thoughts before beginning;
“As long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I was a girl sir.” He replied carefully. “Almost like I’m not right…. I feel like I’ve lived someone else’s life sir. I… I don’t know… I’m sorry, I just can't go on like this.” David explained as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Colonel Mathias rose and moved around his desk to perch against the top directly in front of David. “Go on.” He urged.
David looked into the face of his commanding officer, trying to read the old man’s thoughts but failed.
“Sir, If I can't be me…” he said slowly, gesturing at himself. “Then I need you to discharge me. I cannot continue as David for much longer. It hurts too much.” He sighed, the tear followed by several relatives.
Mathias looked down at the young soldier before him. The youngster was clearly troubled by these feelings, and very serious. Mathias understood how the boy must feel to come to him like this.
“Am I the first person you’ve talked to about this?” he asked softly.
David looked up whipping a dear from his eye, and shook his head. “No sir, I , ah, I told Ari, I mean Corporal Weismann earlier today sir.”
The colonel nodded. “I see. Well….” He said with a sigh. “You are not the first soldier under my command to have come to me with such a problem. Now admittedly, I was but a young Lieutenant the first time one of my soldiers trusted me with such a secret. I think there is only one way to deal with this. Don’t worry, we shall manage.”
Sarah looked up at her commanding officer with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
“I don’t want to loose you, um, David… You are one of my best marksmen. Um, markspeople.” The Colonel grinned with an exasperated sigh. “I want you in my unit. Fuck the rest of the army, fuck the politicians. You are staying, and I will make accommodations to keep you as a member of my team.”
Sarah couldn’t hold it in anymore, and she broke down sobbing.
The colonel cracked; he couldn’t remain so professional and distant when one of his people was so distressed. As hard as it was for the grizzled soldier; he pulled the girl to her feet and enveloped her in a fatherly hug, and rubbed her back as she sobbed into his shoulder.
“Hush my dear, it's ok,” he soothed.
Colonel Mathias looked down at the girl in his arms. How had he ever mistaken David for a man? There were more male looking female troops in the unit…
Easing her back into the leather chair, he moved to the door and asked his assistant to fetch a pot of coffee.
Returning to his desk he sat opposite David and crossed a leg and stared at the young soldier.
Looking up she saw the Colonel regarding her intently. “What is it sir?” she asked.
“What do you want?” he simply stated.
“Well.” She started. “I don’t really WANT anything. I just want to continue doing my job, but um, as a girl?” she replied hesitantly.
The colonel looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think” he answered; “that we can do that. I would prefer if you simply eased into things? Allow people time to get used to the idea… And of course tell them…” he suggested.
Sarah nodded. “of course sir, I wasn’t expecting you to let me prance around the base in a sundress.” She giggled.
“Do you have a name?” He asked.
“Sarah,” she answered without hesitation. “It’s what my mother would have named me had I been born, um, a girl.” She said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.
There was a knock on the door and Shamira poked her head in; “Sir, the coffee is here if you want it,” she said quietly.
The colonel nodded; “Thank you Shamira, and please take a seat, we need to discuss something.”
Sarah looked surprised for a moment, but noticed the warm smile on Shamira’s face.
The two had been friends for a long time, but now she felt that might be tested.
”Um, Shamira” Sarah began. “I, uh…” She began but was cut off by Shamira grinning and waving her hand dismissively.
“It's ok honey, I heard through the door, you two weren’t very quiet, and I sorta suspected anyway. I’m just glad you’re going to be officially on our team now!” She smiled rising to hug Sarah.
Sarah couldn’t believe her luck, she seemed to be moving closer to realising her dream, and they weren’t baby steps… full leaps and bounds were being made by the moment it seemed.
“Shamira, can you sort out Sarah’s file for me and leave it on my desk so I can push the forms around? And perhaps you two should spend some time together, take the afternoon, Private Cohen, I’m sure I can make my own coffee for a few hours…” the colonel smiled in his grandfatherly way.
Before the colonel could change his mind, Shamira took Sarah’s hand and dragged her out of the office before she could protest.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into the old man today but be thankful!” Shamira grinned as they crossed the parade ground.
“So you knew?” Sarah half whispered.
“Oh of course” Laughed Shamira. “You look like a girl… You’re the only ‘man’” she gestured quotation marks and giggled. “In the unit, that doesn’t look like a goddamn hard case. You don’t seem gay. It was the logical conclusion. Plus you always seemed to like it when people thought you were a girl.”
“I guess” replied Sarah. “So a lot of people think I’m gay?”
”Most of the guys who know your um, biological sex, think you’re gay, the ones who don’t, think you’re a girl, and most of the girls don’t really mind. You’re whoever you are to us to be honest. Now things are cleared up it’s a whole lot easier!”
“I guess” Replied Sarah, still not entirely convinced. “So where are we going?”
“To my room silly. We got carte blanche to take the afternoon off, we are so going shopping!”
”I ah, should go get some civies then…” Sarah responded.
“Why? I’ve got loads in my room. And we’re the same size.”
“I uh don’t know about that…” replied a startled Sarah.
“Nonsense, I can’t be seen in public with such a shabby tomboy, now be a dear and doll yourself up for Mira?” giggled Shamira.
“Just don’t make me look silly, ok?” grimaced Sarah. “I don’t want to get laughed at…”
”Honey, I'd have to do more than put you in clothes you were destined for to make you look silly… it would take conscious effort on your part…” Smiled Mira putting her arm around Sarah.
When they arrived at Shamira’s Quarters, Sarah was handed a big fluffy white towel, and a collection of shampoos and conditioners, and banished to the bathroom.
As the water washed down her body, she began to wonder if this was really happening. It all seemed to right… Too easy. Life wasn’t meant to be easy was it?
Rinsing her hair she tied the towel around her chest and left the bathroom. Mira was in the process of changing out of her uniform and Sarah began to turn away.
“Oh don’t be so shy! Come in, we’re both girls here.” giggled Mira. Embarrassedly, Sarah came into the room and sat on Mira’s bed while she finished dressing.
After pulling on her jeans and a top, she threw a denim skirt and a spaghetti strapped top at Sarah and ordered her to dress.
Sarah just sat on Mira’s bed holding the items and underwear she had been passed, looking thoughtful.
“Are you going to get dressed, or do I have to do it for you?” Mira scolded jokingly with her hands on her hips.
“Um, I don’t know what to do.” Sarah whispered blushing.
“You haven’t worn women’s clothes before?” asked Mira looking honestly surprised. “I thought you were a girl inside? Don’t you all do that?”
“Um, I never had chance.” Replied Sarah quietly.
“Oh, sorry.” Said Mira; the smile disappearing from her face. “Let me help you then.”
After helping Sarah dress, Mira applied light makeup, and tousled her hair before announcing her project complete. Guiding her friend to a Mirror, She stood back smiling as Sarah stared dumfounded into the glass.
She couldn’t believe how she looked. It was amazing what a difference clothing made. She now realised how everyone saw her. As a her… There was no way someone would see her birth sex. She thanked god that she had been so blessed.
Before long they were walking across the parade ground towards Sarah’s quarters to collect her assault rifle before leaving the base. It was mandatory for Troops to carry their personal weapon when leaving the base during duty hours.
Sarah felt strange, but also a new freedom, she was finally getting a chance to be herself. It was exhilarating. She wondered what Ari would think when she arrived at their room.
She just prayed he wasn’t in.
Her padded bra gave her a tiny bust, which she felt extremely conscious about. Like they were the most visible part of her now. Her entire bodily awareness had been inverted by 4 simple garments.
Arriving at her quarters, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.
Ari was lying on his bed watching TV when she entered. “Wow Sarah, you look amazing!” Ari grinned.
Turning bright red she looked away. “I um, came to get my AR… I’m going into town with Shamira Cohen to do some shopping…. I uh, could you pass it?” She stammered.
Getting up from the bed, Ari walked over with her AR15 in hand still looking at her intently. “You really are beautiful, you know that?” he said handing her the rifle.
Blushing, she quietly muttered a thank you without looking at him. Ari hugged her and grinned “Knock em dead kid.”
She smiled at him and turned to leave and was greeted by Mira grinning like a fool.
”Don’t even say it.” She said as they walked down the corridor and out into the bright sunlight.
“What?” asked Mira in mock outrage.
“He’s like a brother to me, I couldn’t.” Beamed Sarah.
“Ah well more for me then.” Grinned Mira playfully elbowing Sarah.
Laughing like schoolgirls, the two made their way out the main gate and towards the shopping district of the city.
She had almost forgotten to be afraid…
After passing several groups of people on the street, Sarah began to realise that nobody was giving her strange looks, and she began to relax.
Annoyingly, Mira seemed oblivious of her stress.
With a slightly shaking hand, Sarah pulled a cigarette from her bag and lit it.
Inhaling the sweet smoke, she felt the nicotine work its way into her blood stream, calming her nerves slightly.
Why was this such a big deal to her? The countless missions, enemy fire, fear of death didn’t compare to walking down a street in a skirt. Stopping for a moment as she walked to stare off into the distance and take a drag on her cigarette she realised for the first time in her life, this mattered.
The bullets never mattered, the enemy combatants, the bombs, the danger… She was a place keeper then. It wasn’t her life she was living, it was David’s…
Slumping down with her back against the stone wall she sat down on the roadside, pulling her legs upto her chin, and felt her eyes moisten. This was her.
If she was seen through now, it invalidated her. SARAH. Being seen as a man would be like a bullet to the head. She wondered which would hurt more.
“You ok honey?” asked a worried Mira kneeling beside her.
“I’m sorry; I’m just a bit shaky.” Sniffed Sarah. “This is all so new, I’m scared.”
Mira grimaced. “I’m really sorry.” She sighed rubbing Sarah’s shoulder. “I keep forgetting you haven’t done this before. You just seem so….” She frowned searching for the right word. “Normal?”
Sarah shrugged whipping her eyes “I’m not DOING anything….” She sighed. “I’m just being me… no different to how I normally am. That’s what’s making me so nervous…. Like I’m wondering if I’m doing things wrong, and stuff…” she trailed off.
Mira nodded solemnly and pulled herself to her feet, offering Sarah her hand. Once the two were on their feet, she enveloped her friend in a tight hug.
”Nobody on this planet, never mind this dusty back end of nowhere can see anything than my beautiful friend.” She whispered.
Smiling weakly Sarah broke the hug and reaching for Mira’s hand, set off towards the city centre with a new purpose. This could be a mission too… her mission now had purely selfish goals.
Sarah Yakobavitch did not lose.
Reaching the central shopping district of the city, the two began to peruse the shops and boutiques that filled the busy streets.
Initially very awkward, Sarah began to acclimatise to the fact that she was infact, a girl, and as such, allowed to be in the women’s section, and trying on clothes. Each time she saw a mirror, she saw less and less reason to fear discovery.
She was a young woman shopping till she dropped… or till her friend allowed her to drop.
”Here try this.” Beamed Mira in a way that suggested it was an order as opposed to a suggestion.
Sarah eyed the dress cautiously. It was a blue silk dress that covered part of one shoulder, and her upper arms, whilst barely reaching bellow her crotch. It was loose and flowing and was beautiful to the touch.
“Do I leave my skirt on to try this?” She asked curiously. Unsure as to weather it was simply a long top she was being too paranoid about.
“Nonsense girl, get down to your undies and I want you in that pronto.” Announced Mira as she began shooing Sarah back into the changing room.
After stripping down to her underwear, Sarah turned to face her latest objective. Conquer the not quite a…dress…
With a small shrug she slipped it from the hanger and proceeded to step into it and pull it up her legs.
The first thing she noticed was the shock. The silks touch against her skin was an alien feeling. She immediately wanted the dress, no matter how indecent it may prove to be.
After being sure she wasn’t flashing, she stepped outside the changing cubicle to find Mira perusing another rack.
“Mira?” she called quietly.
Mira turned and dropped the top she was holding; “Oh my god, you are getting that.”
Sarah grinned and ran her hands down her body feeling the smooth material.
“This dress feels AMAZING.” She beamed. “Are you sure it’s decent?” she stage whispered.
Mira nodded enthusiastically. “You look amazing.” She grinned.
Smiling, Sarah returned to the changing rooms to admire her image in the mirror.
She couldn’t believe how well the dress fitted her. How had she missed this so long? She didn’t look like a man at all. Even knowing the sad truth, it was hard to believe she wasn’t her own sister.
Back in her original outfit, Sarah hoisted the pile of clothes onto her arm and proceeded to the till to ring up another expensive trip.
“You know we should get some lunch now if you….” Mira started but was cut short by a deep vibration that shook the shop and a deep rumble like thunder.
Both girls looked at each other wordlessly.
“Stay here.” Sarah commanded, and in one motion pulled her magazine from its holder and locked it into the magwell of her carbine.
“STAY HERE MIRA.” She yelled as she made for the door.
As she stepped out onto the street, she saw a mass of confusion. Looking both ways in the mass of human panic she saw smoke rising further down the street.
Her worry was gone; she had switched herself off to personal troubles. Her training kicked in as she moved down the street in the direction of the blast, her carbine shouldered.
As she neared the blast, she saw the entire front of a small shop was missing, black smoke billowing from within. There were security forces around the shop, trying to see past the smoke, clearly awaiting the arrival of the fire services.
Sarah’s eyes immediately noticed the sign above the shop, or lack of… It was a disused building. This made no sense.
Why would the terrorists target an empty building?
It clicked….. Diversion!
Moving through the crowd to the store front Sarah grabbed one of the higher ranking police officers at the scene by the collar dragging him around to face her.
“Miss excu…” he began
“I’m Sayeret Matkal, This isn’t the main attack, the place is empty; your men are in the wrong place.” She barked.
Realisation dawned on the man’s face. Sarah began to sprint back up the street the way she had come. Behind her she heard the thunder of boots following her almost synchronous with the thumping of her heart.
The terrorists were flushing people towards their attack. This wasn’t the normal hit and run cowardice normally employed. This was organised.
She hoped Mira had the piece of mind to remember her job and Contact the headquarters. Sarah realised she would need her comrades; things were beginning to go from bad to worse.
Elbowing her way through the sea of people Sarah fired her carbine into the air, the bark and flash temporarily stunning the panicking civilians around her.
”GET BACK.” She screamed at the surging crowd. Locking eyes with the police officer, she saw him nod and bark at his men, forming a cordon pushing those that could be contained back down the street.
Sarah turned and ran.
As she neared the end of the street she came into a small courtyard surrounded by shops and café’s. A corrale in the city’s narrow winding streets…
As she scanned the area around her, she heard the bark of a Kalashnikov on the far side of the courtyard.
Spinning on her heels, she saw several men wearing Shemaghs and balaclavas firing into the crowd and throwing grenades.
Moving to cover she raised her rifle. She didn’t have a shot; there were too many civilians in the line of fire.
“Shit.” She muttered and vaulted the small wall she had been knelt behind.
Moving down the flank of the courtyard, she was partially covered by market stalls and café fronts from the sight of the gunmen.
Rounding a small Coffee Vender’s cart, she raised her rifle and put several rounds into the scull of the nearest gunman.
He jerked and dropped heavily sideways, his weapon sliding across the cobbled floor.
The other 4 men had not heard the shot or seen their comrade fall.
Sarah switched to semi automatic and carefully adjusted her position.
There were too many civilians, it was a clusterfuck.
She slowly raised her rifle to her eye, and aimed down its sight.
A gunman was in the act of pulling the pin from a hand grenade. Without thinking, Sarah pulled the trigger.
As the puff of red mist sprang from the man’s chest she saw the grenade fall to the floor by his feet.
She watched as the man toppled forwards on top of his own grenade. Absorbing the brunt of the blast, but showering the surrounding area in a bloody shower.
She wanted to cry but she hadn’t the emotion to spare or the time to herself. Mechanically she moved off at a sprint towards the nearest cover.
By the time she reached it, her own volley was accompanied by the pop of more ar15s being fired.
Within seconds, the remaining terrorists had fallen.
Looking around her Sarah saw the olive uniforms of IDF troops and police forces swarming the area.
In a daze she stared around intently; trying to force herself to catch sight of any further threats.
Satisfied that they were safe. She quickly ran towards the fallen civilians and knelt by a young woman in the courtyard who was bleeding from her chest and whimpering quietly.
Tearing the woman’s blouse open she put her hands to the bullet wound bellow the woman’s left breast.
“Hush, it's ok.” she soothed to the young woman.
Sarah felt tears running from her eyes as she looked into the woman’s eyes.
Her hands were covered in blood and her face hot with tears as she attempted to stem the blood flow.
“MEDIC!” She screamed in a half sob.
The woman coughed and gripped her bloody hand. Sarah felt powerless as the woman slowly died.
After what felt like an eternity two paramedics reached her and took over from her attempts to stabilise the woman.
Wiping her eyes, Sarah stood and looked around her at the sea of carnage. There were people screaming and dieing around her and she was powerless to do anything.
Hot tears ran down her cheeks and burnt her skin as her tears blurred her vision.
“Sarah!” she heard the voice before it registered that it was Mira calling her name.
She turned to be enveloped by a hug from her friend.
“Are you ok?” she asked, looking concerned.
Sarah nodded weakly. “I’m fine, I just….” She sobbed
“Hush baby.” Mira cooed. “You did what you could.” She soothed, rubbing her friend’s back.
“I…” Sarah sobbed, trying to calm herself. “I’m fine now.” She said. Not quite sure if she was telling herself or Mira.
“Yakobavitch?” Sarah turned towards the voice calling her name. She came face to face with several of her unit.
“David? What the hell, man?”
Chapter 5 — Strange things.
Sarah felt a trickle of sweat roll down her back.
“Uh.” She said intelligently.
Sgt Goni looked at Sarah with a curious expression. “We knew you were a Noshech Kariyot* David, but this is taking undercover a little far no?”
Sarah just looked blankly at the 4 troopers before her. She had never realised how big they were. She had always felt smaller than them, but not small. Now she was almost looking up at the 4 big men in their body armour and gear.
“I, uh,” She muttered looking away.
“SHE, was shopping with me.” Announced Mara, placing her hand on Sarah’s shoulder.
“Yes we have to talk, but now is neither the time nor the place. And show some fucking respect. You’re talking to the woman that stopped this becoming a bloodbath.” Growled Mira. “She’s not in any shape to talk now; this has been hard on her.”
Peter Shiloh placed his arm on the Sergeant’s shoulder and gently squeezed. “Sergeant; Cohen is right, we have things to do, and David, I mean, um, she doesn’t look up to a grilling.”
Turning to Shamira peter nodded, “Back at the base?”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
“This is going to be worth waiting for.” He smirked before turning and walking off towards a group of police officers.
Turning Sarah, Mira guided her friend away from the carnage in the courtyard and towards the command post set up at the far end.
After she found Sarah a seat, Mira bustled off to find whoever was in charge leaving Sarah alone.
“Are you ok miss?”
Sarah turned to face a young paramedic.
“Uh, yes, I think so, I’m just a little drained.” She sighed.
“Can you walk? Id like to check you over if that’s ok?” The young man insisted.
”I’m Benyamin.” He offered
“Sarah” She replied with a weak smile.
Looking into his face, Sarah noted the concern and compassion in the man’s expression. He cared, and loved his job, but that job hurt him. “Ok.” She whispered.
Helping her to her feet, she was led over to the back of an ambulance where the medic began to poke and prod Sarah, shining lights into her eyes and testing things.
As he held her wrist, testing her pulse, she caught his eyes and smiled.
“So what’s the prognosis? Am I going to live?” She giggled.
“Well that depends really.” He sighed with a straight face.
“Oh? How sad, there was so much I wanted to do.” She sighed.
“Well, if you agree to go to dinner with me, I guess you might live.” He smiled packing the stethoscope away.
”You’re fine medically, that blood isn’t yours, and you are in great physical shape.” He said seriously. “But mentally, I think you’re a little shocked still, I heard what you did. And I’d understand if you want to be alone.” He added.
“Well living will be nice. I guess I can put up with the side effect of the company.” She grinned.
“Do you hit on all your patients?” she grinned, cocking her head to the side.
Ben shook his head and smiled. “Just the cute ones.”
“Ok then. Here’s my number, but I really have to get back now, my friend will be looking for me.” She smiled passing him the piece of paper and climbing off the ambulance’s back step. “Thank you Ben”. She waved and made her way back towards the command post.
”Where the hell were you?” Mira scolded with her hands on her hips. “You worried me.”
“I’m a big girl Mira, I can look after myself.” Sarah smiled.
Mira looked at her closely. “Tell.” She said with a slight grin on her lips.
“Oh a nice paramedic came over and wanted to check me out…. I mean over.” She smiled innocently.
Mira shook her head in disbelief. “You are off to a flying start my girl. Haven’t you heard of walking before you run?”
Sitting down beside Sarah, she handed her one of the coffee cups she had acquired.
“I don’t know Mira, he just looked nice, and he was so kind. I don’t know if I like him like that, but he’s nice, and friendly, and asked me… I thought it would have been rude if I just turned him down.” She shrugged.
“Just be careful honey, your… situation, will cause a possible problem, and try not to get too attached before you tell him ok?”
“I guess” Sarah grimaced. “I don’t even know why I said yes.” She sighed. “I never even considered dating or sex before today. What gives?”
“You’re comfortable.” Stated Mira matter of factly as she took a sip from her cup. “You’re finally you, and you let the act go. The girl you really are is beginning to wake up, and she knows what she likes.”
“I suppose.” Admitted Sarah. “It just feels like things are going too fast. I mean, I hadn’t expected this…. And now I have to tell everyone!” She sobbed.
“Hush baby.” Mira soothed as she hugged her friend. “You have me, Ari, the Colonel… You are officially ok…. Anyway once those macho assholes realise you’re serious then they will just accept it. They can’t have made it into this unit being bigoted unintelligent assholes…. They just act like it because they think it’s cool and manly…” Mira smirked.
“We should get back to base.” Sarah said flatly. “I’ve gone off shopping, and I have a firing squad to attend.”
Grimacing, Mira hugged her friend. “It will be ok honey, I mean; they didn’t blow their tops did they?”
“I guess not. But I still don’t feel good about it.” Sarah admitted, frowning.
Finally, Sarah left the bloodbath behind, and the two returned to the base. It felt good to get out of that place, it had been a traumatic morning, but what was ahead was equally frightening.
Sarah didn’t want to think about what could happen, but her mind wouldn’t allow her that nicety.
When the two arrived back at the base, Sarah told Mira she needed some alone time, and after hugging her friend, disappeared back to the sanctuary of her room.
Once she was safely inside, she shut and locked the door; sliding down against the floor she curled into a ball and began to cry.
As sobs wracked her body, she felt bad. Why was she crying so easily? She had never been this emotional before. Was this what Mira had said? She was ‘comfortable’ now?
Why was this being herself so bloody stressful? She asked herself.
Wiping the tears from her eyes she hugged her knees to her chest. There was no denying it. As stressful as this was; it was right she admitted. All the crap she had gone through to get into this unit was as hard as this. She survived that, she could survive this.
It was all about growing thicker skin. What was it Ari said? Sticks and stones may break my bones but names don’t throw stones in glass houses?
Sarah was sure that wasn’t right, but it sounded ok.
Pulling herself to her feet, she stripped off her top and skirt and walked over to the wash basin.
Looking into the mirror, she saw herself, but it wasn’t her. She wasn’t sure. Looking back was the same face, the same eyes, the same hair, hell, the same arms, hands, legs, but she was different.
While it scared her, she was pleased with what she saw. It seemed, natural; meant to be. Her smooth crotch and small chest in the underwear seemed appropriate for her.
“If I’m going to do this, I may as well do it right.” Sarah muttered to her reflection.
She gathered up her hair into a high ponytail and secured it with a simple black band.
She pulled on her uniform pants and tee-shirt, finally her uniform shirt and fastened her belt.
Looking back at her was a female Idf soldier. Like thousands of others, but this one was her. A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at her reflection. This is how she should have looked all this time.
Every time she looked at that mirror, she became more comfortable with what she saw. ‘Time to make the others just as comfortable with me looking like this.’ She thought to herself. ‘If I don’t do this, they never will.’
Balling up her confidence, Sarah stepped out of the door to her room and locked it. Slowly she began to walk down the hallway; every footfall requiring mental effort to complete.
Approaching the door of the Mess, she reached out for the handle as if it were a coiled serpent.
Hesitating, she took a deep breath and opened the door…
*Noshech Kariyot - Pillow Biter (Hebrew slang for Gay)
Chapter 6 — Parting the Red Sea.
The door creaked open and Sarah slowly stepped into the mess. As she closed the door behind her, she balled her fists up and walked across the room towards the coke machine.
She could feel eyes burning into her as she walked. It was all the courage she had to continue walking.
As she reached the machine, she fumbled for a coin in her pocket before shakily slotting it into the machine and hammering any button her hand landed on.
Behind her she heard a faint chuckle and some voices.
She crouched and recovered her drink from the vending machine and turned to find Peter Shiloh standing before her quietly.
“Um, Hi David.” He said quietly.
Looking mildly unamused she replied tersely; “It’s Sarah, please.”
“I…oh… sorry.” He blushed. “Um, you want to join us and talk?” he continued.
Sarah simply nodded and followed Peter across the room to a group of sofas that seated six of her unit. Amongst them, she saw Ari.
This made her heart skip; she had one ally at least.
Nervously looking around the group she sat down on one of the sofas to one end of the small seating enclave and tucked her leg under her bottom.
Looking around the group, she slowly opened her coke and took a sip. Pausing to collect her thoughts she spoke; “I guess you guys are wondering what the deal is?” she said hesitantly.
Snickers and nods from the group suggested that was indeed their reason for being present.
Ari caught her eye and smiled reassuringly; urging her on.
“You know me as Corporal David Yakobavitch…” She started
“When I was little, I guess I was a normal quiet kid. I went to Synagogue and helped my parents with chores, my school work, the usual…
Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, and they love me, but I just never felt I fitted in with the family. Even school, I just felt like I was a spectator … watching it all happen; life pass by.”
Clearing her throat, she continued, not put off by the silence that had befallen the group.
“I guess I realised I was different when I started high school. All the boys and girls began developing and changing, and I felt like I was missing out.”
She laughed darkly. “I know I never went down quite the same path as all of you clearly. But it was enough to make things seem unjust….
I finally realised it when I was about 14. I wasn’t a boy. Sure, I had boy parts down there.” She sighed, gesturing at her crotch.
“But I wasn’t one up here.” She said touching her hand to her head.
“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking….” She grimaced. “It sounds bizarre at best, even deluded. I know what the Torah says. It’s not possible to change sex…. But that’s the thing… I’m not doing.” She almost pleaded as she looked around the sceptical faces.
“I was born a girl; A girl with a birth defect. I had the body of a boy, but I wasn’t. I was always a girl from the moment my mother gave birth to me. At least up here.” She whispered; touching her head once more.
“I feel like a liar.” She continued. “I joined the army when I was conscribed to endure my 3 years service. I didn’t want to. Cutting my hair when I joined nearly broke me. But I grew to love the army; I was good at what I did. I excelled, and most of all, I feel proud to say I am a defender of our nation." she said, for the first time drawing nods from the group, the first reaction of any sort.
“I joined Sayeret Matkal because I could excel, and defend this country more directly and because it allowed me to be more free with my appearance whilst remaining in the army.
Like I said; I feel I need to apologise to all of you now; because I’ve lied to you all for so long.” She sobbed, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“I wish I could have met you all as me… the real me… The me that sits here now. Sarah Yakobavitch. I am the same person, I don’t ask you to treat me any differently you have. I’m still you’re friend. The shell just matches the person you were friends with now.
I have never been a David in anything but name.” she whispered; wiping a tear from her cheek.
She looked around the group, trying to gauge some reaction from her peers
“I never really thought about it that way,” mused Peter, “It’s still a bit sudden though…. I mean, I had no idea.”
Ari broke out in hysterics at that moment causing the group to turn and face him with a mixture of questioning and confused stares.
“Seriously?” he laughed. “How can any of you have considered her one of the guys before today? The only thing she’s changed right now is she’s wearing a bra! How can you tell me that you are SURPRISED?” he shook his head in disbelief.
There were several nods and mutterings of agreement around the group at Ari’s comments.
Sensing he had their favour he continued; “We’re soldiers, and she showed today that she can still fight just as hard, if not better than some of us. As much as we are brothers in arms, I’m perfectly happy to consider her my sister in arms…” he said proudly smiling at Sarah.
Hearing her friend defend her like that lifted her sense of dread as she waited for reactions from the rest.
Her eyes fell on Sergeant Goni. He looked intently thoughtful sitting there with his arms folded and a frown on his face, intently studying his shoe.
The others seemed mostly reserved, while nodding along with Ari’s comments, keeping their own mouths shut.
Peter finally spoke: “I guess we saw what we wanted.” He began hesitantly. “I mean, you were a guy to us, so we saw you as a guy… if that makes sense. But Ari is right. You never really were… its like you were told and we were told that you were a guy, and we all just accepted it without really questioning it.”
Peter looked around the group.
”You have my support Sarah. Man or woman, you are one of my team, and a friend. You aren’t changing who you are, just the covering, um… slightly” He blushed. “Anyone says anything against you, they have to go through me.” He said smiling reassuringly at Sarah.
“That means more than you can imagine Peter, thank you,” gushed Sarah. “And you Ari, just anyone accepting me is more than I could have hoped for.” She said, staring down at her lap.
“Why were you out in town dressed up like that?” Sgt Goni said flatly.
“Like what?” Sarah frowned looking up.
“Like a woman.” The Grizzled sergeant replied. “You’re a soldier of this unit, and you go parading around town in a skirt?”
“So?” replied Sarah; her frown deepening. “Nearly every female soldier in the IDF does it.”
“You are MEANT to be Sayeret Matkal.” Growled the sergeant.
Her hackles raised, Sarah stared at the Sergeant. “Are you just a misogynistic old bastard or are you saying I’m some man in a dress?” whatever it is, fucking spit it out to my face.” She growled getting to her feet.
She stood there with her hands on her hips staring at the sergeant with a ‘well answer me’ expression on her face. She was well aware this was the only time she would look down at him.
The sergeant realised his eyes to meet Sarah’s and chuckled with a shake of his head.
“What’s so fucking funny?” she spat with venom that shocked even herself.
The Sergeant just smiled. “Never mind, I guess I’m just a misogynistic old bastard.” He chuckled.
“You just proved you’re a woman by completely over reacting and miss-interpreting what I was saying. And sit down little one, don’t be under any impression that you look tough or intimidating like that.” He laughed. Something that even made Sarah crack a small grin.
Flopping back into her seat she scowled at the sergeant. “This isn’t an excuse for you to treat me like I’m less.” She sneered.
“keep dropping ragheads, and I don’t care if you fight in a bloody tutu.” He replied with the hint of a smile.
“Just don’t let this affect your work.”
“Far from it.” Sarah replied.
“I ‘m going to go out on a limb here and speak for everyone,” said Mark, the SAW gunner as he looked around the group. “You watch our backs on missions, and its time we did the same for you. David or Sarah, man or woman, you are a human being in our eyes, and in god’s… Anyone gives you shit, talk to me.”
There were emphatic nods from around the group. Sarah finally relaxed in the seat, taking only the second sip from her coke that had been untouched since the discussion began.
“Just make sure to tell us when you start wearing your combats like the other girls, so we can move you from sniper to point.” He grinned stupidly.
“Men!” Sarah sighed with comic exasperation.
With that the group broke down into silliness. The uncertainty cleared and the bond between warriors reformed.
Sarah was glad that her friends had so far been supportive. But she was not naive enough to believe it would be the same in every case. The religious hardliners could be vicious.
As she sat with her team-mates and friends, her phone bleeped, bringing her back to reality.
Flipping the cell open, she opened the new message. It was from Ben;
‘Are we still on for tonight? B’
Chapter 7 — Babysitter’s club
It felt strangely satisfying to Sarah to just sit amongst her team-mates and friends. She wasn’t really doing anything different, and she didn’t really look any different; but it was definitely, definitely, different she thought.
A rather good different…
“So are you going to come for some beers with us tonight then? Or are you too good for us now?” Peter mentioned over his paper.
“Um, I would guys, but I’m going out tonight…” Sarah muttered non comittally.
“You do realise that you and Shamira can over do the whole ‘girly girl’ thing?” He laughed. “We like our Sarah just the way she is… and our Sarah comes out for beers on a Thursday.” He said matter of factly shuffling his paper.
“God Cohen is one piece of ass id like to tap.” leered David Zeis, the team’s demolitions expert.
”Err? Excuse me?” exclaimed Sarah, with a look of indignant disgust on her face. “That’s my friend you’re talking about.”
“Have you seen her naked?” grinned David. “Isn’t that what girls do? Walk around naked with each other?”
Sarah looked at David for a moment regarding weather the man was serious or not. Shaking her head slowly she cracked a small grin. “Yes David, we all hang around naked and have lesbian sex with each other to pass time.” She replied seriously.
David looked at her with a squint, clearly unsure of her seriousness.
Bursting out laughing, Sarah threw a TV remote at David. “Stop being such a troll… Why don’t you fuck off and play with some C4? I’m sure you’ve got more body parts your dying to loose.”
“Nah I was serious, what’s it like? Do any of them fancy me?” He begged.
”What does it take to get into your thick, cordite clogged brain Zeis?” Sighed Sarah.
Contra to popular belief, women are just like men, except maybe with better hygiene and slightly more brain cells.” she answered wrinkling up her nose.
“When you are quite done.” Came a quiet voice behind the group.
Startled, Sarah snapped around quickly to face one of the Majors from the Unit, although her momentum had other ideas, and with a squeak and a thump she fell off the sofa.
Lying on the floor of the mess she looked at her team-mates with a serious expression before bursting out in a fit of giggles; their laughter wasn’t far behind.
The group’s adolescent silliness was reaffirmed.
*COUGH*
The group stopped immediately and faced the Major who didn’t look in the slightest bit amused.
”Briefing room at 1600 Bravo Squad. You’re weekend leave is cancelled.” He said dryly. With a disgusted look in Sarah’s direction, the Major turned and left.
There were many groans and profanities from the group as the pulled themselves together.
“Did he just give me a look?” Sarah asked the sergeant.
“Yup.” Agreed Goni
Sighing, Sarah pulled herself to her feet. “I sort of expected a little more than distain, so I should be thankful I guess.”
Putting his hand on her shoulder the Sergeant looked at Sarah for a moment, reading her eyes. “You remember what we said, and what Mathias said. The fuckers can only bitch and moan amongst themselves or give you the odd dirty look. It’s petty and childish. Remember that huh?” He said softly, so that the rest of the group didn’t hear. Patting Sarah on her shoulder he turned and spoke to some of the other troopers before heading out of the room.
“What was that about?” Ari asked.
“Huh? Oh, nothing.” She sighed. “Lets go get to the briefing shall we?”
With that, the two left the mess and made their way to the briefing room across the far side of their force’s compound.
Walking into the briefing room, Sarah and Ari found seats with their squad and waited for the brief to begin.
The quiet muttering that filled the room stopped as Colonel Mathias entered with several other officers.
“I’ll cut straight through the bullshit.” Mathias began standing behind a small podium at the head of the room.
“The Primeminister is taking his annual vacation starting tomorrow. Due to recent events, he does not wish for his normal security staff to be present on the Yacht while he is away, it’s too predictable. This squad will be taking on the close protection duty for the week’s vacation, undercover, naturally.”
The colonel paused for a moment to allow the information to sink in.
”Major Thesik will be heading up the operation, and he will be operating as the Premier’s chef, apparently, he is a rather good cook.” The colonel said with a wry grin. “Meaning you are all on rations for the week.” He slipped in before the Major could protest.
“Goni, Yakobavitch, and Thomas will be on the Premier at all times, you are going cover as guests of the premier and his family. This lets you follow them around without arousing suspicion. Zeis, Weismann and Silverberg will be operating as ships crew in various capacities.”
Nodding at the 3 men, he continued, “You 3 will leave today in 2 hours with Major Thesik to Haifa and the Yacht tonight. And Those acting as guests, will leave for Jerusalem in a hour.”
After going over the finer details of the operation, Bravo Squad were dismissed to their personal admin.
It was a frantic Sarah that knocked on Mira’s door shortly thereafter.
Opening her door, Mira was confronted by a verbal barrage from a distressed looking Sarah.
“Slow down child, what’s wrong?” She asked while standing aside to allow Sarah entry.
”We’regoingonamissionanditsplainclothesandidonthaveanythingtoWEAR!” She garbled.
“Whoah girl slow it down for me? I don’t speak bimbo.” She grinned.
Taking a deep breath, Sarah paused before replying; “Right, we have to go away, and its plain clothes… and the thing is, I don’t have anything but what we bought in town…. And I have this dinner thing tonight…. Can you help me?” She pleaded
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Mira asked.
“I have to be.” Grimaced Sarah, “Its going to be more obvious that something is up if I dress as a guy isn’t it? Anyway we will be at sea for most of it, so its ok I guess. But I have to attend a dinner tonight at the Premier’s residency in Jerusalem… can I borrow a dress for tonight? And some bits for the mission? We didn’t really plan for me going away so soon…
Just under 2 hours later, Sarah stood with the sergeant and corporal Thomas on the landing pad outside the Premier’s official Jerusalem residential compound.
“I’m really looking forward to the trip with Thesik.” Sarah stage whispered to Specialist Thomas as they made their way into the Premier’s residence. “I think id rather dance naked past the wailing wall.” She grimaced
“Heh, I know what you mean, Still, he’s stuck playing chef, we get to relax for the week. How bad can it be?” he grinned.
“Pity we aren’t taking any serious toys.” He sighed, “I fell really out of place in this suit.”
“How do you think I feel?” Sarah complained. “There’s making progress, then there is me in this getup going to a formal dinner! And a week with people I have to not only appear normal to, but also do my job 24/7!”
Thomas stopped and looked at Sarah. “You do know nobody is going to think anything? You don’t remotely look like a guy. So chill the fuck out babe.”
The two started walking again. “Anyway, you look a lot better in that dress than you would in a suit.” He grinned.
“Mathew Thomas, are you hitting on me?” Sarah mock scolded with a broad grin on her face. His words had truly made her feel good.
“Nah, I don’t fuck co-workers.” He shrugged. “Ill have to work out a way to get you kicked out.” He shot as they reached the entrance, curtailing any retaliation from Sarah.
“I will get you later.” She hissed through a broad smile as they entered the primeminister’s home.
The 3 soldiers stood apprehensively in the entrance hall while a security agent disappeared to announce their arrival.
“We thought up an excuse for Combat Barbie here?” muttered Goni.
Sarah looked at him blankly, completely lost.
“There aren’t any women Combatants in our unit?” Goni prompted with a sigh.
“Tell them it’s a cunning disguise?” Shrugged Thomas. “Tell him she’s going undercover at a Palestinian knitting circle.”
Unable to resist this latest jibe, Sarah elbowed Thomas in the ribs.
“I’m all for physical violence, but isn’t it better directed at our enemies?”
Looking down the length of the room, Sarah locked eyes with the Primeminister of Israel, a curiously amused expression on his lips.
Whoops.
Chapter 8 — A series of discrepancies.
“I’m so sorry sir, it won’t happen again.” Sarah said snapping to attention.
“Nonsense child, I don’t expect you to stand so rigidly to protocol during this trip, you are all after all, attending as ‘guests’. The Premier smiled. “Now I expect no more of that silly saluting or ill throw you off my boat.” The old man chuckled.
Relaxing, the three soldiers waited for Prime Minister Zimann to speak.
Sarah studied the old man’s face; it was warm and kind, grandfatherly… He somehow didn’t seem the hard faced old soldier that led their country so strongly. Being in his presence made her feel warm and relaxed; almost protected... Did he have this effect on his political compatriots?
“Now I insist that you call me Ben, ok? Any of this ‘Prime Minister’ Rubbish and I shall be cross ok?” Mr Zimann smiled.
“Yes sir, I mean Ben.” Replied Sgt Goni curtly. “Where would you like us to stow our gear?”
”One of the security men will show you to your rooms, and I would much appreciate it if you could join me for dinner shortly?”
Thanking the Premier, the 3 troopers left the grandfatherly statesman and made their way upstairs behind their security service guide.
Once they had refreshed themselves, the 3 met outside their rooms before heading downstairs. All three felt strange about they were being treated; as if they actually were guests, not bodyguards. This didn’t fit with how they normally operated undercover; it was almost as if they WERE going on holiday with the Prime Minister. Despite this, all 3 carried their service weapons on their person.
It felt strangest of all for Sarah. She was still getting used to having her sidearm in the black Gucci bag of Mira’s over her shoulder, the dress she wore left her no space for a throwaway, and her knife was also in the bag. Vulnerable didn’t begin to describe it.
Entering the dining room of the residence, the soldiers joined the Premier, his wife, and his teenage children. Once the entrée was served, the awkward silence of the room was broken by the Premier’s wife.
Sharon Zimann was a short elegant woman; her body language suggested that she had grown up in the higher circles of Israel. Her appearance was immaculate; her brunette hair in a perfect short bob and simple rimless glasses framing her lightly made up eyes, she oozed class without trying.
“I’m frightfully sorry, my dear.” she said, looking at Sarah. “I had been told that the three soldiers they were sending were all men. I had made arrangements for you to all bunk together on the yacht…” She continued, with a mixed air of question and apology.
“Mrs Zimann, it's not a problem, they are my friends, bunking with them shall not be a problem. There was a recent, ah, change of plan, to the personnel list…” Sarah trailed off.
“Corporal Yakobavitch is used to operating with male soldiers in the field ma’am. We are…. Housebroken?” chuckled Sgt Goni.
“Nonsense, unless she protests it specifically, I’d like to make arrangements for you to share a berth with my daughter, Corporal. She usually turns the other bed into a horizontal wardrobe, I’m sure she will cope with some company. I won’t have a woman inconvenienced by ogling male eyes, intentional or not, I know your sex, Sergeant…” smiled Mrs Zimann wagging a finger playfully.
Half choking on a slice of cucumber, Sarah regained her composure and replied; “Ma’am that’s not necessary, honestly, I don’t want to intrude.”
“Hush dear; I’m sure Maritza would love some company near her age? Wouldn’t you dear? She can’t hang around with her mother all this time, I’ll cramp her style.” Mrs Zimann chuckled.
Smiling politely, Maritza nodded before returning to her salad. Sarah got the idea that her mother regularly dropped such situations on the teen. This might be a long trip after all she sighed inwardly.
“If I recall correctly, Ben Zimann mused, there was another Corporal Yakobavitch listed on the original troop manifest. Or am I confused in my old age?”
Sarah turned red. This might get ugly she realised, bracing herself for imminent outing.
“Her brother Sir,” Thomas answered through a mouth full of prawn. Swallowing, he continued; “Her brother got sick, and he couldn’t go, she was available and took his place on the team, we had considered that maybe nobody would notice the manifest change…. “
”Brother and sister both members of Sayeret Matkal?” exclaimed the Premier; his eyebrows rising. “Your parents must be proud my dear, especially their beautiful daughter serving her country along side some of the finest men in our army.”
“Ah, um, yeah, I guess they are.” muttered Sarah, suddenly very interested in her wine.
“That’s not true Sir,” Piped up Thomas once more, “Her brother is the better looking one.”
Forgetting her company Sarah kicked Mathew’s shin under the table; an action that was not missed by the Premier’s son.
“Hey dad why can she get away with it? You ground me if I kick Maritza!”
”Mark, I will have none of this now…. We have company.” hissed the Premier. Sighing, he drained his wine glass. “It will be nice to have more children around the place.” a sly grin on his lips.
“Sir I’m sorry, I forgot myself. It was unprofessional.” Sarah apologised.
“What have I said about calling me sir? It makes me feel old.” Ben chuckled. “Anyway, would you not kick him out of my presence?”
Sarah’s blush answered his question. “You are here as guests, acting like those boring old farts in my secret service will only alert people to your presence. Being living members of your unit tells me that you can do your jobs…. Anyway, friendly violence never hurt anyone.”
”Yeah, tell that to my shin.” grimaced Thomas.
After their meal, the group retired to the patio outside the residence. Whilst the Premier and his wife continued to drink the fine wine that appeared practically on tap, the 3 troopers refused further alcohol out of professional duty, despite being in the safest place in Israel outside of Colonel Mathias’ underwear.
Sarah’s mind drifted off to the image of performing a threat assessment of Benyamin the paramedic’s underwear, a thought that caused her to blush furiously.
Looking up, she caught the eyes of the Premier’s wife, renewing her blush.
As the discussion turned to military matters, Mrs Zimann sighed and rose. Looking across at Sarah, she smiled;
“Would you walk with me my dear?” She announced, “I think I need a break from all this testosterone.”
“Yes ma’am.” Replied Sarah curtly, clutching her bag tightly.
As the left the group behind, the Premier’s wife removed a pack of cigarettes from her own bag, and lit one, offering the pack to Sarah. After a moment’s hesitation, she smiled and took the offered cigarette and lighter.
”Thank you ma’am.” she mumbled.
”My dear, honestly, you military types and your programming does vex me so. Please, call me Eva.”
”Yes ma’a…. sorry, Eva.” blushed Sarah.
“What’s your first name child?” enquired Mrs Zimann.
“Sarah.”
“Well Sarah, what thought turned you so scarlet before?” grinned Mrs Zimann knowingly.
“I uh, it was nothing ma’, um Eva. Uh, how long have you and Mr Zi… uh Ben been married?” She asked desperate to change the subject.
“You really can’t fool me that easily child. It was a young man, no?”
Sarah’s blush told her everything she needed to know.
“See? I’m not so old and out of touch with these things, no matter what my daughter thinks," smiled Eva. “Is he your lover?”
“Uh, no, um, not really, we only just met today.” Sarah sighed taking a drag on her cigarette.
“I met him on the job actually, both of ours.” She smiled, after exhaling a plume of smoke into the night air. “Did you see the news of the bombing today?”
“Yes I di….” Started Eva, she fixed Sarah with a puzzled expression for a moment. “You were the girl spoken of by the bystanders no?”
”I uh don’t know what you’re talking about….” Sarah muttered shyly.
”I don’t suspect there are many females in your unit, but I am right. That was you? Wasn’t it?”
Sarah nodded slightly, avoiding Eva Zimann’s eyes.
”You know the papers are asking who the mystery soldier girl was?” Eva asked, with full knowledge that Sarah did not know.
Looking at Sarah’s face, Eva could see the horror on the young girl’s face. “Not fond of the spotlight?” she enquired.
“I’d rather not talk about it.” muttered Sarah into her cigarette.
As the two neared a large pond in the grounds, Eva directed Sarah towards a row of stone seats beside the water.
“How long have you been a girl dear?”
Sarah looked at Eva Zimann with a look of horror and surprise on her face; “I uh, I, um, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she stammered, knowing full well that would be convincing nobody. Dejected and resigned, Sarah sighed, and slumped forwards in her seat. “What was it?” she asked, looking over at Eva.
“No one thing dear, a series of discrepancies, that’s all.” Eva smiled and took Sarah’s hand. “Don’t worry child, I wont tell anyone.
Sarah looked up from her resignation; “Why? You have ever right to RTU me, request another operative.”
“Yes, I could.” Mused Eva, “But I see nothing wrong with the current one.”
A tear rolled down Sarah’s cheek as she sat quietly pondering the Mrs Zimann’s words.
“I hate to sound like a fraud, but, what gave me away?” Sarah asked meekly.
Handing Sarah a handkerchief, Mrs Zimann shook her head slowly and purposefully. “Nothing in particular dear, it was mostly guesswork till you confirmed my suspicion. And believe me, it was not your looks.”
“When you first arrived, you looked beyond nervous. A seasoned operator of your background shouldn’t have looked so scared witless. Secondly, you are unsure in your heels dear; no young woman of your age would be wobbling around on her heels like a young teen,” she giggled.
“You got me there. It’s the first time I’ve worn the darn things.” sighed Sarah. “I can’t stand them.” She grinned with an exasperated laugh.
“How long have you been transitioning child?” asked Mrs Zimann softly. “I must say, you are very beautiful. The hormones have been kind to you.”
“I uh, this is sort of my first full day I guess.”
Mrs Zimann looked incredulously at Sarah. “You mean to tell me you lived as a boy before today?” How did you hide the effects of the hormones?”
”I didn’t Eva. I, what hormones?” asked Sarah, looking puzzled.
“You have been taking hormone therapy no? You realise that is very dangerous without a doctor?”
”I’ve not taken a thing Ma’am, um Eva.” Sarah replied quickly looking worried.
“My god, child, you are truly blessed,” smiled Mrs Zimann. “You simply must talk to this Doctor friend of mine. I'll give you his card later. He supplies my HRT, keeps me looking young.” She grinned conspiratorially. “I’m sure I could make an arrangement for him to see to your needs, it’s a crime that a girl of your beauty be forced to endure testosterone.”
“I, um, I don’t know how to thank you Eva, this is just all so sudden, but it’s so right. I can’t explain how I feel. I’ve just felt this way since I was small, that I was not the person I appeared. But I know so little.” Sarah sighed looking at her painted toenails in the black leather heels.
”I mean, I’ve sort of fallen into all of this so quickly, I’ve picked up a few little things, but I’m winging most of it, terrified I'll be discovered.” She sobbed.
“Hush child, hush” soothed Mrs Zimann. “I think only someone in my position could have known dear, the military specifics of your unit were the most telling hint. I had been campaigning to allow female soldiers to try out for your unit with the women’s rights forum I chair. If a woman had joined, I’d have known about it. So you can see; your appearance was quite a surprise.”
Sarah Let herself relax finally. It wasn’t anything she had done. That little fact made her feel somehow more secure.
”Well you have your wish Eva.” She giggled. “This is one girl who is staying in Sayeret Matkal.”
“Of that, I am glad.” smiled Mrs Zimann. “We should return to the men before they forget something important like breathing.” She giggled. Rising, the two women began to walk back towards the house and the others.
Sarah was glad that this day was drawing to an end. It had contained far too much even for her; ESPECIALLY for her.
A short Helicopter flight and a limousine journey later, the three Sayeret Matkal troops stood with the Premier and his family on the dockside in the navy yard in Haifa.
Sarah and the others were maintaining a less than convincing cover as guests, they knew till the yacht was out of the harbour, they were at most risk. The safety of the Premier and his family was more important than that cover for now.
Sarah plucked uncomfortably at her blouse; it was growing damp in the prickly heat. Such a dark garment was really stupid in this sun she mused. Then again, the figure hugging body armour she wore beneath it didn’t help in the slightest.
She looked across at Sergeant Goni; he looked most comfortable and relaxed in his grizzly old way. She knew the man was as on edge as she was. But his nature stopped him showing it. She almost wished for her guillie suit instead of this nasty armour.
Somehow she considered that a bush would look most out of place here in the perfect dockyard.
‘I wonder if a suitcase could make a good urban guillie?’ she giggled to herself.
As the group approached the yacht, the military guard on the gangplank stood to attention.
Once boarded, the crew made ready in rehearsed precision, and in no time, the yacht was beginning to move off from the dockside.
It was only as the luxury yacht motored lazily out of the harbour, that Sarah began to relax. “I’m going bellow to change Sergeant. I can't stand this vest.” Sarah grumbled she stood with Sergeant Goni at the stern of the Yacht.
It was a curious vessel; the sort of sleek pristine white luxury yacht that wouldn’t look out of place in the marina’s of Monaco, yet packed with more military hardware and armour than the average fighter jet. Cruises NEVER deviated from plan aboard this tub.
Heading below decks, Sarah located her cabin, and after swiping her ID card in the reader, waited for it to swish aside smoothly. All these gismos would take some getting used to, she chuckled. The base back home was circa 1970, and NOTHING was automated. She would have to make sure she could at least get coffee before having to operate anything complicated like a door.
Inside the cabin, The Prime Minister’s daughter Maritza was sat cross-legged on her bed. After looking up on Sarah’s entry, she returned to staring blankly out the window.
“Hi.” Sarah braved, wondering if the girl intended to ignore her for the whole trip.
With a shrug, she went over to her case and removed a spaghetti strap vest and shorts that she had bought in town the previous day. Slipping into the bathroom shyly, Sarah stripped the nasty armour and blouse from her boiled body and allowed her skin a moment to rest from the torture. Slipping her shorts on, she stepped out of the bathroom and went to her bed to retrieve her Glock from the handbag it currently occupied.
Slipping her firearm and its fobus holster back onto her belt in the small of her back made Sarah feel better. She felt more prepared now; less vulnerable.
“You’ve got the boobs of a 12 year old.” Maritza stated blandly.
Half dressed, Sarah turned around towards the voice, with her arms pinned above her head by the damn top she was wrestling on. “Huh?”
“You’re really flat.” Maritza repeated. “Unlucky.”
Pulling her top the rest of the way down Sarah flopped down on her bed heavily. “Yeah, so? It’s sorta a good thing, you know.”
Maritza cocked her head. “Why?”
After a moment, Sarah replied; “Well, I can wear body armour easier, it doesn’t hurt when I run as much, and I run a lot.”
“I guess, but I still like mine.” She sighed, prodding a breast lazily. “I dunno… Sorta makes me feel mature and sexy. Don’t you miss that?”
”Uh, I never really thought about it.” Sarah lied.
“Sure.” replied Maritza slowly with a frown. Sighing, the girl turned away from the window. “Look, I’m sorry I’m a bit blunt and cranky today. It's just several bad things coming together at once. Mum and Dad and this stupid fucking holiday aren’t helping either.” she grimaced.
Sarah was shocked to hear the younger girl using such language in regular communication, but she wasn’t exactly innocent herself. Maybe it’s the mother in me? She thought.
“I know what you mean Maritza. I’ve had a rough few days myself. It's…. Ah, complicated.” She sighed, “Maybe sharing your problems would help?” Sarah asked hopefully, any sort of dialogue between her and the girl would make the trip much easier on both of them.
“You actually give a shit?” Maritza asked looking surprised. “Most of Dad’s usual security people just treat me like an inconvenience.” She sighed, looking quite upset by that fact.
Sensing the girls barriers were down, Sarah pressed on; “Sure, well I’m not your dad’s regular security am I? I know in your shoes, I'd want help, but I'd just be too stubborn to ask for it.” Sarah grinned. “I bottle things up, and I hide things, thinking I can deal with it. Well someone showed me that was wrong recently. So I’m going to do the same for you.”
Moving across the cabin Sarah approached Maritza’s bed. “May I?” she asked nodding towards the bed.
“Sure, knock yourself out.” mumbled Maritza through her hair as she sat hugging her knees.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sarah reached out a hand to Maritza’s knee. Feeling the girl flinch momentarily, she wondered if she was doing the right thing; but when a pair of eyes rose above the knees, she smiled. “Tell me?” she asked softly.
“Well it’s a lot of stuff really.” sighed Maritza. "My boyfriend just left for his conscription and broke up with me.” Looking at Sarah’s raised eyebrows, she smiled weakly. “Yeah I know, it's only a year difference, but Dad would still kill me.” She moaned. “I’m sort of glad we broke up, that way Dad won't ever have to know.” She sighed. “And it’s the summer holidays! All my friends are out celebrating and partying, and I’m stuck on this fucking boat.” She grumbled.
“As if things couldn’t be worse, I came on today, too. I think someone upstairs really hates me.” She sighed.
“You came on?” Sarah asked puzzled.
”Yeah, you know…. My period?” replied Maritza with one of those American teen movie ‘Duh’ expressions.
“Oh, right.” muttered Sarah blushing. “I always just called them the time of the month.”
“You know.” Maritza said pushing herself to a free sitting position on the bed. “I think you’re right.”
”Huh?”
“Well you said talking helps. And it has, I realised I was worrying about things I can't control, and in a context that doesn’t really apply….”
”I don’t follow.” Sarah replied slowly.
“Well, I’m not exactly alone this week like I had thought. And there are plenty of cute soldiers on this boat.” Smiled Maritza.
“That’s the spirit.” grinned Sarah, pulling the younger girl into a hug. “I told you that facing things is often easier than avoiding them.”
“But alas, we have one serious matter left.” Sarah whispered conspiratorially.
“What’s that?” Maritza asked coking her head to one side. “Your period, dummy!” Giggled Sarah, I guess I won't go and get you a hot water bottle and some painkillers after all, you don’t seem to mind it.”
“Nooooo!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I hadn’t forgotten” Whined Maritza before dissolving into giggles. Maritza pulled her puppy dog eyes expression out on Sarah, finally cracking the girl’s false cold front.
Smiling, Sarah rose from the bed and headed towards the door. “I guess I could then.” She grinned, grabbing a flannel shirt from her suitcase. “Back in 10” and she darted out the door.
As she walked down the passageway she silently thanked Ari for his treating her the same way. She had needed it just as Maritza had. It took no effort, and the person always knew the answers themselves, it just took someone stopping them and telling them to think.
Reaching the galley, Sarah slipped inside after knocking on the door frame. “Hello?” she called. Nobody replied. Flipping a light switch, she went in search of the first aid kit for some paracetamol.
As she was boiling a kettle to fill the hot water bottle she had discovered in a storage cabin, she heard a noise behind her. Spinning around bottle in hand, she nearly slapped Major Thesik around the face with the rubber bottle.
“Oh god, sir, sorry, you startled me.” she apologised.
“What are you doing in here?” snapped the Major with a less than pleased expression on his face.
”I was just getting some things for Maritza.” Sarah replied with more confidence than she felt.
“Who?” glared the Major.
“The premier’s daughter?” prompted Sarah.
“Oh… the kid. Well next time ask one of the crew before you go skulking around the Yacht. I’d be watching my performance if I were you, Yakobavitch.” snarled the Major. “Not that I ever would be.” He muttered as he walked away.
Not wishing to repeat the confrontation, Sarah grabbed the items she had collected and beat a hasty retreat from the hornet’s nest. He either definitely had a problem with her, or was brushing up his head chef act, she wasn’t sure which.
After another battle with the card reader, she re-entered the cabin she shared with Maritza. The girl was in bed beneath the covers watching some mindless celebrity show on the TV. She looked fairly uncomfortable. After passing her the drugs and hot water bottle, Sarah left Maritza in peace to get some rest.
Walking back out onto the deck, Sarah pulled her sunglasses down from atop her head to deflect the glare of the midmorning sun. Resting against the railing, she began to wonder what periods must be like. Sure, she would never experience one, and part of that made her deeply sad. She would never have a baby, nor would she ever be really female. Sure the outside is nice. But one part of her mind would always know it was just window dressing. That no matter what medicine did, she would never be a true female biologically. Starting into the foamy wake of the Yacht, she silently began to cry.
Sarah woke around 5am the next morning. She was pleased to see Maritza sleeping peacefully across from her. The girl had been in bed the whole day with her cramps; something that made Sarah feel somewhat better that she didn’t have to experience that.
Slipping from her bed, she tiptoed to the bathroom to relieve herself. Once finished, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. It was enough to instantly wake her more effectively than any coffee known to man. Her hair was all messy, and she had clearly forgotten to take her makeup off, the panda eyes and traces of lipstick on her cheeks made her feel like some zombie woman. After washing her face and tidying up, she returned to the cabin feeling very much more human. As Maritza softly snored, she dressed quickly and made here way out of the cabin.
With a mug of coffee in hand, she made her way up onto the deck of the yacht. The sun was beginning to rise, and the orange hue cast over the ocean was beautiful. Sighing wistfully, she sipped the sweet nectar between her cupped hands, its warmth providing comfort against the chilly morning air. This was a whole lot better than being on some dusty mountainside, maybe she should apply to the secret service for a transfer?
As she looked over the ocean, she heard a faint voice towards the bow of the yacht. Curious as to whom else was up at this hour; she made her way along the deck towards the bow. As she neared the sound, she stopped. It appeared to be someone on a phone. A phone? Out here? It didn’t make sense. Putting her mug down quietly, she slowly tiptoed forwards so quietly even a mouse would be considered noisy.
As she reached the corner, she knelt to listen:
“Yes, yes, it’s fine.”
“We’re a day out of port.”
“No, no.”
“The bag put the tranny freak with the kid, it might make things difficult.”
Sarah recognised that grizzled voice anywhere, Major Thesik. But who was he talking to? She fought the urge to go and lay into him for his clear insult of her, now was not the time or place. Retracing her steps to the stern, she curled up on one of the seats to finish her coffee and think. What was the Major doing? He had to be using a satellite phone this far out at sea. And why wasn’t he using the ships communications room and sat line? Too many questions with too few answers. Sarah knew who she had to talk to, there was only one person she could trust with one of her paranoid theories; Ari.
Hearing footsteps, she turned to see the major appearing from the direction of the bow. He looked very surprised to see her. “What are you doing up?” he snarled.
“I couldn’t sleep she shrugged cheerily. “And it’s a beautiful morning don’t you think?”
The Major grunted and vanished. Her ‘happy go lucky gal’ routine seemed to have dissuaded him from any notion that she may have overheard him. The man was sure acting suspiciously.
Nah, she was just being silly. It was all the stress from the last couple of days catching up; making her see and hear things. Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she stretched out on the seat to watch the sunrise. What surprised her most this morning was that she actually HAD a ‘happy go lucky gal’ routine. Sarah wondered if she would be wearing pink by the end of the week…
Stretching, she uncurled her legs and stood with a long cat like stretch. “Mmmm time for breakfast” she muttered to nobody in particular as she made her way below deck.
As Sarah entered the main dining room at 0700 to eat with the crew, she was greeted by a strange sight. At the table, Maritza was sat talking and laughing with Ari and the sergeant.
“My; aren’t you up early? Where’s the real Maritza?” smiled Sarah pulling up a chair near the group.
“I think I spent far too much time in bed yesterday, I’m making up for lost time getting to know all these cool people.” The girl grinned.
Sarah smiled happily. She was glad the girl had pulled out of her self destructive nose dive, but something about her interaction with Ari upset her, but she couldn’t place her fingers on it, or however the expression went.
“Where did you go this morning?” Maritza asked between mouthfuls of cereal. “You were up awfully early.”
“Just felt like sitting on deck for a while, watch the sunrise and relax with a coffee…” shrugged Sarah dismissively. She had no intention of sharing her observations so publicly.
After Breakfast, Sarah cornered Ari leaving the dining room; “Hey can we talk somewhere private?” she whispered into his ear.
After giving her a curious look, Ari shrugged; “Sure, come to my cabin while I change for work, we can talk there.”
After following her team-mate down the passageway Sarah followed Ari into a small, more sparse berth than her own.
“What was it you wanted?” Ari prompted as he began to change into his day uniform.
”I uh,” Sarah blushed scarlet as Ari dropped his shorts to change.
”You… what?” Ari called turning around, “Oh shit sorry.” He mumbled as he dove behind one of the bunks to continue changing.
“You were saying?”
“Uh, sorry, yeah, I heard something this morning. And I don’t know who else to talk to about this Ari…. It sounds pretty weird.” sighed Sarah as she slumped down on the nearby bunk. A thought coming to her, she continued. “Who are we reporting to on this mission?”
”The Colonel Indirectly, the Premier directly I guess.” Replied Ari thoughtfully.
”Well wouldn’t Major Thesik communicate with the Colonel via the com room?” frowned Sarah, “Surely he would have no need to bring a personal satellite phone?
“Where did you hear this?” said Ari as he adjusted his shirt.
“I was on deck this morning, about 0500. He was at the bow alone, talking on a sat phone, and he made several comments that made me uneasy…” she answered slowly, looking into Ari’s eyes for a reaction.
Ari’s eyebrows moved closer to his hairline as he stood before the mirror combing his hair into order. “Like what?”
Sarah relayed the comments she had overheard to Ari, whose expression turned from confusion to worry with a tinge of anger. “I don’t like this Sarah… We know he has it in for you because of… um, you know…. But this goes beyond that. The best thing we can do is keep this to ourselves, and watch things, IF… and IF he has turned, we don’t know who else is on his side… So don’t tell anyone what we talked about ok?”
Sarah nodded quickly; Ari seemed to have a much more rational grasp of things… She wondered if he would have told her had he witnessed the phone call.
“I’d best go, people will be looking for me, we can't do with rumours now can we?” She giggled to break the tension.
”Hah yeah, but if anyone asks, tell them I was amazing ok? Grinned Ari
He would have told her, she knew now.
As she made her way out the door Ari slapped her on the butt. Squealing she wheeled around with a scowl on her face. “Get out of here little one; I’ll see you at lunch.”
She could hear him laughing at her as she stormed off down the passageway. UGH MEN. She couldn’t believe that she had been born a member of that disgusting sex.
Fumbling around with her swipe card, she re-entered her berth with a sigh, was every day going to be so taxing so early?
“Where have you been?” grinned Maritza who was in the process of dressing. Fighting the urge to turn away, Sarah just shrugged and started going through her clothes for something to wear.
“Around.” She replied dismissively.
“You left with Ari…” she grinned wiggling her eyebrows. “And something tells me that talc handprint on your butt isn’t yours.” She laughed pointing at Sarah’s behind.
Craning her neck fruitlessly, Sarah darted into the bathroom to be greeted by a large powdery white handprint on her tan shorts. “ARRRRGGGG” She screamed stamping her foot. “I’m going to kill him.”
“So It was Ari then?” Maritza smiled poking her head around the doorframe.
“Yes” Sarah replied in an exasperated tone, “no, yes, no, oh I don’t know.” She sighed.
“Ask me an easier question.” She mumbled slumping down on her bed.
“Are… you… Sleeping with… Corporal Weismann?” mouthed Maritza with deliberate annunciation.
Launching a pillow at the girl, Sarah vehemently denied any relationship with Ari beyond the brother sister sort of thing. Maritza however was having none of it.
“Well you two always smile at each other when you see one another, and when I was flirting with him at breakfast, he got really uncomfortable as soon as you arrived…. If you aren’t doing it, I bet you will before long.” She laughed dodging another swipe.
Sarah sat thoughtfully on the bed. Was she right? Did she like Ari like that? No way. She couldn’t…
“Stop thinking so hard, I can see smoke pouring out of your ears.” smiled Maritza.
“I think I preferred you when you weren’t talking” Sighed Sarah with resignation.
“Look, I don’t know ok? I mean, we’ve been friends for years, and I mean years, since our teens…. I just don’t know if I see him like that. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but I KNOW I like the guy. I don’t know if I’m ready to think about dating that’s all….”
”Ready?” frowned Maritza. What do you mean ready? How old are you? Like 21-22?”
Sarah nodded absentmindedly.
“Are you telling me you have never even kissed a guy? Or been on a date?” probed the girl.
Sarah nodded.
”Wow, I think I have a pet project this week….” Maritza replied dramatically. “I’ve GOT to help you; it’s my duty as a teen fashion queen.”
‘Oh no, I’m going to say it’ thought Sarah. ‘No, I cant, she will hate me’ “I’m not like other girls Maritza.”
The younger girl cocked her head and looked at Sarah. “Coulda fooled me babe.” She replied still looking at Sarah unblinkingly. “Small boobs doesn’t make you less of a girl you know, look, I’m sorry about yesterday, it was mean, I had no excuse.” She continued apologetically. “You’re probably really sensitive about it, and I took my problems out on you, I’m sorry.” She whispered pulling Sarah into a hug. As Sarah sobbed quietly into her shoulder, Maritza Rubbed the older girl’s back and whispered comforting words in her ear. She was kicking herself for being such a bitch.
Pulling away from Maritza, Sarah rubbed her eyes and took a breath; “No, I’m really not like other girls Maritza. I… I” she continued, screwing her eyes up and balling her fists in some mental attempt to force herself to say the words. “I ‘m a boy.” She half croaked as she hung her head.
“Oh.” The girl replied. “Um, So you want a penis?”
Sarah shook her head slowly. “I was born a boy, but its wrong.”
Realisation dawned in Maritza’s eyes, “Ooohh, gosh, really? I guess that explains a lot.”
“What do you mean?” Sarah frowned. Was everyone she met able to tell she wasn’t what she seemed?
”Well, you’re sorta like me when I was 12… You hate dressing up, body conscious 24/7, small boobs, and you didn’t know what I meant when I said I was coming on… she smiled. Taking Sarah’s hand she gave it a squeeze. “Honestly, It doesn’t stop you being one of the coolest people I know. You took the time to talk to me, and help me when it had nothing in it for you. Who cares what you were born, You’re clearly a girl.” “And a girl in loovvveeee” she giggled as she danced off the bed out of Sarah’s range.
”Yeah that’s one of the things I don’t know about….” Sarah grimaced. “Me and Ari have been friends for years right? But I’ve only been his female friend a few days… it’s a lot of mixed signals, I’m not sure how much is him treating me like a guy friend still, or if he’s actually coming on to me… We were always close, but I don’t want to kill that.”
Maritza nodded solemnly. “A dilemma young padewan you have.” She rasped in a rather high pitched impression of Yoda. “Hang on? Did you just say a few days or am I going loopy?”
”Yeah, um, 2days now I think?” Sarah thought back through the muddle of the last few days.
“Wow. You’ve only been a girl for 2 days? Jeeez you’re a natural.” smirked Maritza shaking her head.
“I felt like this ever since I was little.” Sarah sighed wistfully. “I guess I needed a kick in the butt. Ari has a big foot.”
”Now I see why you two are so close.” replied Maritza. “So you do like boys then?” she pressed.
“Well I didn’t like anything before.” Sarah shrugged. “I just saw girls with some more interest than men, I guess because I was jealous, but I never dated or anything with either sex. It sorta felt wrong.”
”I can understand that.” Maritza agreed looking thoughtful. “Hell I look at other girls too, but purely from an analytical point of view you know? Like, what’s she got that I haven’t?”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah, that’s it, I saw features, not ‘that’s sexy’” she smirked. “A friend back home told me I’d woken up to the possibility of men because I was comfortable now. It feels right, but it’s scary. I don’t know anything. I’ve almost been thrown into this, and I’m totally winging it….” She sighed slumping into her pillow. “Its just so much so fast, I get so lost. Suddenly I’m in society, and I find I can interact, but I don’t know the language.”
Chapter 11 — Redefining a smile.
“Welcome to your teens, again.” smiled Maritza sympathetically.
“UGH” grunted Sarah into her pillow. “It was bad enough first time around.”
“Right, well I fancy spending some time on deck doing one of the few activities where I don’t have to talk to my parents.” Grinned Maritza whilst delving through her dresser and emerging with a barely decent bikini. Sarah looked up from the pillow and looked confused.
“Sunbathing my dear.” Giggled Maritza, “We are going to go catch some rays, you can ‘guard’ me, and I can give you some classes from the Maritza Zimann School of Girlhood.”
“Shouldn’t it be womanhood for me? I’m 21!” protested Sarah indignantly.
Fixing her with a disproving look and a hand on her cocked hip, Maritza replied in a patronising tone; “Walk before you can run my dear, as much as I don’t want to admit it; even I’m not a woman yet. Anyway, stop stalling, and grab your suit.”
Pulling herself off her bed, Sarah gingerly approached her dresser as if it contained a live bomb. Could she let her friends see her in something so tiny? Could SHE let her see herself?
“I will be right back.” Sarah called as she grabbed her suit and vanished into the bathroom. Here she was safe from her blushing attacks as Maritza changed, something she wasn’t used to yet, and more importantly, Maritza couldn’t see HER change.
Stripping naked, Sarah surveyed what she saw in the mirror: A flat chested girl with olive skin and deep brunette hair. Of course, she was omitting the main discrepancy in the image. A tear rolled down her cheek as her eyes fell to the penis that nestled in her pubic hair. It wasn’t the thing itself that hurt her. It was its presence on her body. The pain its presence caused had been increased in the last several days. The more she had embraced the way she should be, the more her gawky slim hairless body seemed good, but that one thing would always remind her it wasn’t right….
Grabbing a roll of medical tape from her toilet bag, she proceeded to tape and tuck the disgusting thing back out of sight. Satisfied with her work, she pulled the white crocheted string bikini bottoms up her long legs. She was sceptical as to the efficacy of such a tiny garment at protecting her modesty, but as she thought back to Eva and Maritza’s words, she knew exactly what she had to do…. WEAR IT…. And not just wear it, but wear it confidently. She had to stop caring. Everyone on the boat knew her. Pretty much everyone knew her past now, save the real crew members and the Premier himself.
Tying the top after much contortion and wriggling. She looked in the mirror. A skinny flat chested girl looked back at her. She would have to talk to Mrs Zim… Eva, about those hormone pills… She NEEDED help badly. Balling her fists, she unlocked the door and stepped back into the berth.
”Heeeyyy, Lookin good,” grinned Maritza devilishly, similarly clad in not much.
Turning as red as the evening sun, Sarah resisted the temptation to run back to the sanctuary of the bathroom.
“Is it ok?” she asked nervously.
“Yeah, you look fine, stop worrying. You’re meant to be the one protecting me remember?” giggled Maritza.
Blushing anew, Sarah busied herself with collecting her handbag and Glock. As she turned towards the door she heard a theatrical cough behind her.
“You going up there like that?” asked Maritza with an eyebrow cocked questioningly as she tied a sarong around her waist.
It dawned on Sarah eventually. Perhaps this confidence thing was overrated?
Finally, properly attired, the two girls made their way up to the main deck of the yacht, giggling like schoolgirls. Well, like a bodyguard and a schoolgirl.
“Rawr.” Growled Thomas playfully,” Pity I left the scopes at home.” The horny trooper was reclining against a railing with his mp5 in his lap and his shades on the end of his crooked nose.
“So I suppose you think you’re some sexy piece huh?” snorted Sarah in mock disgust. “You can’t afford this on your rank, I know what you make.” She grinned slapping her butt playfully.
Thomas shook his head and grinned pushing his shades back up his nose. “Jeez Yakobavitch, for someone who spent most of their life as a dude you really don’t know much about how we think. I mean, look at you, wiggling around in that little thing as if it were a god damn bhurka.”
“I don’t follow,” replied Sarah, taken off guard. “What am I DOING to you?”
“You know what a guy thinks when he sees a chica in not much, and you’re teasing us with that lil ass as if you were a regular girl.”
Feeling her colour rise, Sarah turned and walked up to Corporal Thomas till she was about 6 inches from his face. “See, here was me thinking I was just walking.” She growled.
”And I’ll pretend I didn’t hear the last bit.”
Pushing himself up off the railing, the Corporal pulled himself up to his full height. “Sarah; you are not a regular girl. You’re half girl at best, at worst; you’re a dude that looks like a girl. Teasin guys like that could end up getting you killed; Sayeret Matkal or not.” He replied nonchalantly.
“Excuse me?” demanded Sarah indignantly. “I AM a regular girl. Because my plumbing does not match does not change that. How I choose to walk or not is my concern. If you can’t keep your fucking pecker in your shorts that’s your problem, not mine. It comes out of your pants, it comes off…. Got it?” growled Sarah, gripping the man by his privates.
Turning, Sarah marched off without waiting for a reply.
“What the hell was that?” Maritza asked as soon as she was out of sight.
“I’m not sure.” sighed Sarah. “I guess the strain of things being so sudden hasn’t just been on me.”
“You can say that again.” nodded the younger girl solemnly. “But you did ‘handle’ him well.” She smiled, resting her hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “Guys behave like that to all girls, honey, its part of life…”
“You’re serious? Ugh, fucking pigs.” muttered Sarah leaning against the railing and feeling the ocean breeze wash over her. “Here was me thinking it was because they think I’m some halfway freak that’s tricking them into being turned on by me. That was what it was right? He was blaming me for making him attracted to me?”
”Yup, they do it anyway. It’s like the most common excuse guys give for forced sex or rape. ‘She looked sexy, so she clearly wanted it.’.”
“Seriously?” replied Sarah with a look of shock and disgust on her face.
Maritza nodded. “Yup, guys are like that in school. They all think girls look sexy or pretty just for them. Selfish fucks. Like we exist to please them, so when we look good, its just for them, and we do it for their attention. Though I admit part of his reaction was classic ‘stop making me gay’itis.”
Sarah frowned and looked back over her shoulder at Maritza who was leaning against the bulkhead of the yacht. “What’s that?”
Shaking her head sadly Maritza was silent a moment before responding. “Look, honey, I know how fresh this all is, and its been sort of good so far, but believe me, there are men who will be pissed if they find out. They will see you as a guy who tricked them into being gay. I know it sounds harsh.” She continued quickly, “But this is an honest truth, sweetie. I’ve heard people talk about people like you in school, its not a common topic sure, but its come up when its been on the TV or something. You know? What would you do if you found out your partner wasn’t the sex you thought….”
Chewing her bottom lip Maritza continued her difficult lesson. “There was this girl in the United States I saw on the TV right? She was like you. These guys she dated found out what she was and killed her… I just want you to be aware, ok?” She whispered as she hugged her friend tightly.
“Reality sucks.” mumbled Sarah quietly.
Pulling away from her friend, she felt suddenly very cold; Very very aware of her position. It was a feeling she had experienced before; Cold hard reality, after that bubble of fiction bursts. She had experienced it once when she had been ambushed in Syria by a terrorist cell they had thought they were tracking. That realisation that the hunter was now the hunted was exactly the same. Sarah however wasn’t the same person who had fought through that. This was her life. This mattered, and it was too much. Running back to the railing, Sarah began to heave over the side of the boat.
Once she felt better, and had convinced Maritza likewise. She excused herself and went below decks. This whole thing was too much. It wasn’t the matter of coming out so abruptly. It was the way that seemingly, nobody cared. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal to anyone, but they masked their true feelings as well as she. Was she even a she? Sure, she had felt it her whole life. And the last few days had felt more right than any other she had lived. But was being seen by those few friends she had as some half and half freak, worth it?
She was acutely aware of the strain she put on those she loved. It seemed stupid now she thought about it. She was deluded; Crazy!
Half conscious, and half on some form of auto pilot, Sarah walked the hallways of the yacht in a daze. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was going. Had she ever been in the last few days? She only really knew one thing, to most, she was a burden, others, a disgusting deviant. Would Ben the paramedic have killed her if she had told him? She felt guilty for his finding her attractive now; A deep painful guilt. The same feeling towards her greatest friend, Ari. Maritza had told her what she had seen in Ari. What she was doing to her friend wasn’t right. This whole thing wasn’t right. She felt so confused.
Sliding down to her knees against a bulkhead in a dark corridor of the Yacht, she came to a realisation. A beam of light in the dim passageway. This world was better off without her. Pulling the Divers blade from her bag she gripped the blade with her left hand tightly. Watching the trickle of blood run down the hilt as she held it just made her sob harder. What was she doing? It was too much too soon, she was cracking. She couldn’t cope with this. Hell, if Thomas thought like that, what did all the others who ‘accepted’ her think? Were they secretly enemies? Sarah was confused and distracted. This all seemed so sudden, but so real. Like she had woken up from a dream to realise she lived a nightmare.
Balling her resolve, she raised the blade in her shaking hand, tears rolling freely down her cheeks. Before she could back out, she ran the blade deep through her left wrist.
Sarah gasped as she blade entered her flesh. It wasn’t a pain as she had expected, a thud of adrenaline hit her as the steel broke her flesh. The only pain she felt was in her heart, and a light throb in her arm. Blood mingled with tears on her lap as she cried. This was for the best. She was doing people a favour. Things would be better without her fucking things up. Of all the things she had done, this made most sense. For the best…
As things went black, Sarah couldn’t think of anyone she hated more than herself. Not for the reasons that brought her to do what she had done. But for what she had done. As hateful of herself and her life as she was, she felt like a coward; taking an easy way out.
“Ugh Fuck.” She whispered and closed her eyes.
Chapter 12 — Headstones and Headaches
“She’s coming round”
“You really had us worried you know.”
Sarah wasn’t exactly sure who was talking, she felt rather foggy.
“What?” she croaked quietly.
The room was her berth; she was in bed, and not alone. “Why the fuck did you save me?”
Despite having felt utterly guilty at her actions before, she wondered if it would be better to survive what she had done. Suicide was the only thing you were punished for if you failed to do it.
Sighing, she looked around the room, the ship's doctor and several of her team were present.
”Why?”
Sarah turned towards the voice only to be greeted by a deep sadness in Ari’s eyes. “Why did you do it?”
A single tear rolled down her cheek as his accusing eyes bored deep into her very being.
“I… I don’t know.” She whispered, breaking eye contact, she couldn’t stand to see his sadness, her guilt was overwhelming. “I… Its just been too much; the last few days, this mission. I think I had a breakdown.”
”That’s not surprising Corporal,” agreed the ship’s doctor. Considering what Corporal Weismann has told me of the last few days, and your situation. I’m honestly surprised it took this long to come to a head. Now I’m not a shrink, but I definitely think your mind is the only thing damaged at the moment. We were able to stabilise you before significant blood loss could occur. I’m going to suggest to Major Thesik that you are taken off mission immediately for the duration of the cruise. I’d suggest you stayed at home to recuperate, but I’m afraid that isn’t possible.” He sighed apologetically.
“I guess we can’t exactly blame her for breaking down considering the pressure… I don’t know why the Colonel put her on this mission considering you know what and the shoot out in Jerusalem.” Goni added. “Hell I’d have cracked under this week. I’ll talk to the Major Doctor.” He added shaking the Doctor’s hand before kneeling by Sarah’s bedside.
“You listen to me.” He whispered into her ear, “You do not have permission to do anything. You got that? I want you to get back to operational status, which means dealing all this, however long it takes, ok? Start with this week; you even lift a finger to do anything and I’ll throw you off the boat. Are we clear?” Mussing her hair, he pulled himself up and made his way out of the berth.
Sarah smiled weakly. How could she have hurt these people so much? Realising she had people that truly cared for her only increased her guilt.
“Give the corporal some space people,” announced the doctor, ushering people towards the door.
”Give me a moment?” Ari asked him quietly.
”Ok, but you have 5 minutes, she really needs to rest.”
Nodding, he waited for the doctor to leave before gently sitting on the bed next to Sarah.
“I suppose this is where you tell me what a stupid idiot I’ve been?” She asked sheepishly.
”Nah,” he answered without taking his eyes off her. “You really worried me, but I understand it.”
”I really feel like I let you down; you and everyone… When I did it, I felt so bad I can’t describe it, I can’t really remember why I did it now, but everything seemed false, and broken. I guess I got too upset to think straight.”
”It happens.” Ari agreed. “I’m just glad you’re alive. To be honest, I don’t know how I'd cope if you weren’t around. I ... Uh, yeah I’d better let you rest.”
”What?” Sarah asked, curious at her friend’s almost admission of something.
”It’s nothing, honestly. I’d better go.” Before she could question him further, Ari had left the berth and closed the door behind him.
“Weird!” She sighed to herself as she tried to relax and go back to sleep. Try as she might, all that ran through her head was the faces of her friends; asking her why. She had never been this unstable. What was this doing to her? Was it worth it? Some time later, she wasn’t sure how long, she drifted off to sleep.
When Sarah awoke, it was dark. How long had she slept? She felt a grogginess that hinted at sedation. She eased herself upright in the bed. The dark berth was eerily quiet. In fact, the whole boat was quiet. Had they moored?
Pushing the cover off, she swung her legs off the side of the bed and tried to acclimatise to sitting. The movement caused her wrist to throb. Gently she wrapped her fingers around her wounded wrist. How could she have resorted to that? The very thought made her feel queasy. Pulling herself to her feet on the bulkhead, she began to move towards the bathroom when she felt a tug in her arm. There was a saline drip hung on the wall attached to her via a canula. Slipping the needle from her arm with a wince, she slowly trudged over to the bathroom. However many days in bed had taken a toll on her; she needed to pee badly…
Slumping down on the seat, she felt the pressure leave her. Her headache was less aggravated now too.
There was a report of gunfire somewhere on the yacht. She wasn’t sure where. Sarah began to laugh. She was sitting on a toilet with her panties around her ankles, wondering where the gunfire she just heard came from and what weapon. This week was full of firsts.
‘Shit. Maritza.’ Pulling herself back together, she left the bathroom and went straight for her Glock. After checking the load, she pulled back the covers of Maritza’s bed. The young girl was still sleeping.
Sarah lightly shook the girl’s shoulder till she stirred. “I need to you get under the bed, and stay quiet, ok? I’m going to check on something.”
Groggily, the girl complied. Sarah made her way back towards the door and after locking it, retrieved the silencer and bullet proof vest from her bag. Looking at the vest, she abandoned it in favour of her favourite option; not getting shot. As she attached the silencer, she could hear voices in the passageway and footsteps.
Quickly she dived into Maritza’s bed, and pulled the covers over her head.
(Arabic translated)
“This is the one, careful, that tranny commando is in there.”
“Yeah but the boss told us he’s out cold, sedated after going nuts and trying to kill himself.”
”Pity it didn’t succeed. Fucking disgusting.”
There was a sound of a key in the lock and the door sliding open.
Through the crack in the duvet, Sarah could see 2 men wearing black enter the room holding Kalashnikov carbines.
”The tranny’s gone, Ahmir but the kid is there.”
”Good! Grab her and lets go, remember, the boss said if we harm her, we go straight to hell, do not collect 72 virgins…” chuckled one of the other men.
Two on one, she had a semi automatic pistol, they had automatic carbines. Was it worth trying? She almost wished she hadn’t disregarded the vest now.
As the first man began to pull the covers down, she hoped to hell that the second wasn’t covering her.
“Wait, what the fuck?”
Sarah rolled over and aimed the Glock at the second man; he had his rifle in his hands, where his companion did not. She squeezed the trigger quickly and two hollow point slugs ripped through the man’s skull.
With her free hand she jabbed at the chest of the man closest to her; her fist impacting in the man’s sternum and taking his breath away.
As he dropped to his knees, Sarah was out of the bed and grabbed the man from behind, dropping him face first into the mattress.
“You make a sound, and I will castrate you, you understand?” she whispered into his ear. Something she had learned was that the majority of the Arabs she had come into contact with during combat had no regard for death. They would become martyr’s. Threatening an integral and necessary part of their masculinity however, seemed to always catch their attention.
The man whimpered into the mattress.
“How many of you are there?”
”Fuck you, bitch.”
“Aw, now that’s not very nice…” Sarah whispered into the man’s ear as she grasped his privates through the combat trousers.
The man howled into the mattress.
“Maritza.” Sarah called quietly.
The frightened girl stuck her head out from under the bed. The child looked terrified. “Maritza honey, can you go grab the power cords for my cell phone charger and your’s, and tie this man’s hands and feet to the chair when I move him to it?” She was asking a lot from the girl, but she couldn’t do this alone.
The girl scrambled from under the bed and after nearly freezing when she saw the dead body of the accomplice, returned with the two long black cables.
Sarah dragged the man to his feet by his testicles before guiding him to one of the chairs by the vanity in the room.
”Sit, NOW.” She commanded
The man meekly followed her orders.
As she kept him covered with the pistol, Maritza warily tied the man’s hands and feet to the chair.
“That’s great, Honey. You did great.” Sarah smiled warmly at the girl trying to dispel some of the fear. “Just go sit on the bed, ok?” she continued, pulling the girl to her feet and guiding her to the bed.
By now most of the sedative had worn off and Sarah felt alert. The throb in her wrist had not subsided, and she noticed that her bandage was beginning to turn red with fresh blood.
Moving to the dresser, she grabbed her discarded body armour and returned to Maritza.
”Here honey, put this on, ok? It’s for your protection.”
Once again, the girl meekly followed her directions. Sarah was positive she hadn’t a clue what was going on. The less she knew the better, in this case. She was easier to control and keep safe in this state of shock. As harsh as it seemed, Sarah needed the girl confused and disoriented. She would not become hysterical and loud if she didn’t know what was going on.
Returning to the man she had tied up to the chair. She stood before him regarding her opposition for a moment. In one movement, she swiftly jabbed her heel into the man’s crotch.
He screamed into the cloth Sarah had stuffed into his mouth, before going limp in his restraints.
Kneeling before him she lifted his chin in her hand. “Now you will tell me everything, or I will cause you more pain than you can imagine,” she stated quietly in the same Arabic dialect that the man had used, so as to leave no confusion to her meaning.
Popping the material from his mouth, she waited;
”I’ wont tell you shit you land grabbing bitch!” the man spat.
His turn of phrase left Sarah in no confusion as to his ethnic origin. The dialect and land reference told her the man was Palestinian; possibly Hamas or Hezbollah. Judging by his clothing, she was more inclined to think Hezbollah. While Hamas was dangerous, they were not this organised or well equipped. Hezbollah was better funded and more professional in its attacks. The man wore black combats, and a tactical vest. His weapon was an expensive AKS74U, a compact carbine of the AK74 assault rifle. With its small calibre round, and large magazine, it was deadly on a boat.
Sighing, Sarah stood and regarded her captive. He was unlikely to talk. She had suspected as much, but it was always worth an attempt. Any intelligence was a bonus. Gripping her pistol by the barrel, she smashed the man around the head with the pistol grip; his head lolling forwards to his chest.
She was fully focused now. She had to be, to survive. She did not know the status of her team, or the other packages. She knew there were hostiles aboard the ship, and she was alive, currently safe, and the premier’s daughter was safe.
Sarah stripped the dead assailant of his gear, donning her combat trousers and the boots she had brought along out of habit. She donned the man’s assault vest over her tank. The padded bra she was wearing made the vest feel somewhat different than she was used to.
For the first time in her military career, she was able to sympathise with fellow female soldiers; a woman’s anatomy was not compatible with assault gear.
Checking to see that the AK was loaded, she returned to the frightened Maritza. “Ok I want you to stay in this cabin till I get back, ok? Lie under the bed and stay there till I come back for you?”
Maritza nodded absent mindedly.
“Look at me!” Sarah turned the girl’s face towards hers. Hugging her, she kissed the girl’s cheek. “I promise I will return for you.”
It was heart breaking to leave the girl, but Sarah knew she couldn’t move about the yacht as she could. She would only drag her into danger and slow herself down.
Opening the cabin door, she slipped out into the dark corridor. She slipped the Attacker’s earpiece into her ear and flipped his radio on. At the very least she could get forewarning of any danger to her or Maritza.
Was everyone else dead? Was she alone? Blotting the thoughts from her mind, she began to slowly move down the corridor. She gave up on her friends before. She wasn’t about to do that again.
Chapter 13 — Fire and Ice
As she reached the top of the stairwell leading to the main deck, Sarah stopped for a moment to listen. The only sound save the quiet lap of the waves against the hull of the yacht was her beating heart. The radio was quiet and the deck was devoid of human sound.
They were together somewhere, most likely one of the staterooms.
Stepping out onto the deck, she was greeted by the chill of the night air. Perhaps more than a tank top would have been more appropriate she wondered, feeling her skin goose pimple.
Approaching the stern at a creep, she saw 2 ribs* tied up at the small dive platform.
Slipping down onto the platform, she placed her weapon on the deck, waiting and listening for any sound. Confident she was alone; she slipped aboard the ribs and disconnected the fuel lines on both craft. Collecting her weapon, Sarah slowly retraced her steps to the main deck of the yacht.
She would head for the comms room, and hope that they hadn’t either stationed men there, or sabotaged it. But as they assumed all were accounted for and under control, she hoped they were lax in their security.
Slowly climbing the ladder to the upper deck, she heard footsteps approaching. Freezing, she waited, her heart pounding so loudly she was certain she would be heard.
A man walked slowly down the deck with rifle slung. They were not entirely stupid she mused. Slowly slinging her rifle across her back, she pulled the combat knife from the vest, and waited quietly. If the man got closer, she would have to dispatch him.
The man casually wandered towards her, his eyes cast out over the ocean. There was a dim flicker of red on the horizon; it was the early morning she surmised, this made things difficult. The shroud of night was withdrawing; her window of action was narrow.
As the man drew level with her position. She slowly crept up the remainder of the steps and moved behind him.
As the man coughed, she sprang forwards and slid her knife into the side of his neck to the hilt, violently ripping it forwards removing his trachea and severing his jugular, a swift and silent death for the hapless and entirely unwelcome guest. She was done with interrogating now. These were clearly foreign, hostile, and uninvited. Playtime was over.
With a gargle, the man slumped quietly to the deck assisted by Sarah so as to quietly the sound. Checking him, she removed several magazines from his gear, and a smoke grenade attached to his belt, stashing the body in a dark corner more out of habit than any attempt at covering up the killing. The deck was covered in the man’s blood. She cursed herself for not snapping his neck.
The dead intruders would be missed, and any person that came past this part of the deck would immediately know something was amiss, her window was even smaller. At least until she went noisy.
Popping the latch on one of the doors into the upper deck of the yacht, she checked and made sure the coast was clear. Discovering the passageway was empty, she entered and latched the door.
The communications room was at the end of this hallway. As she approached the door she heard a voice. “Yes, it's all gone fine. We have them, and we have men securing the daughter as we speak.”
“Yes”
“Yes, I'll report in when we depart, do you still want us to sink the ship?”
“Yes. Ok, Out”
Peering into the room, she saw the fist non Arab intruder. The man was white, clearly not Middle Eastern, and somewhat geeky. His combats looked uncomfortable on him, and the weapon was well out of his reach. Some techy loser drafted in for the mission, she deduced.
Slipping into the compartment, she raised her pistol and with it trained on the man’s head, closed the compartment door.
As the door clanged shut, the man spun around, only to go whiter than his pale complexion. “Wh, who are you?”
“That my friend, is not important,” she leered. “Why don’t you tell me who you are? I insist, guests first.”
“I uh, I’m just here to provide technical services, I’m not involved in the other stuff,” he spluttered.”
“What other stuff.”
“Kidnapping the prime minister and his family.”
“For once, a straight answer. Your friends were not very forthcoming.” Sarah grinned as she pressed the muzzle of the pistol against the man’s forehead, forcing him to lean back further in the swivel chair.
“Are you sure that’s all you know? To be quite frank, I have every right to put a bullet in your brain.”
The man swallowed and glanced sideways at his rifle, leaning against the far bulkhead.
Following his eyes, she laughed quietly. “Please try. I don’t quite think you can beat a 9mm hollow point down this barrel however,” she purred, a fire dancing in her eyes.
“I wasn’t I swear.” The man gulped.
“Who were you talking to on the radio?” she pressed. “And don’t tell me it was your mother. Though I would tell her you love her before you die, however.”
The man managed miraculously to pale even further, and an ominous stain spread across his trousers. “I, I was reporting to my boss, I uh, our boss, how things were progressing. We have to give regular updates on the operation.” He whimpered, going cross-eyed staring down the pistol’s barrel.
“Please don’t kill me,” he whispered.
“I won’t kill you if you tell me who you are working for,” she prompted, pressing the steel of the barrel further against his forehead.
“I don’t know. Honestly, we just report in to ‘base’ I promise I don’t know.” The man looked terrified. “Hang on, are you that transvestite soldier we were told about?” a sly smirk spread onto his thin lips, as he forgot for a moment the silenced pistol pressed against his forehead.
“Oh well, I lied.” Sarah sighed as she pulled the trigger.
The man slumped back into the chair as the round destroyed his brain.
Wiping the muzzle of her pistol, she grimaced. Why couldn’t people be more tolerant? Especially when in such a disadvantaged position. You would think pissing off the angry woman with a gun was a bad idea, no?
Moving to the bank of Radios, she dialled in the frequency for her home operating base, one committed to memory. “Hawk’s Nest this is Rosefern, We have a code red. I repeat, code RED. Does anyone copy?”
Sarah waited for a reply, the static on the line almost deafening.
“Rosefern this is Hawk’s Nest, what is your status.”
With a sigh of relief. She did a silent happy dance as she clicked the call button on the mike. “Hawk’s Nest, Rosefern. The Package is compromised. Unknown number of assailants aboard the yacht. Status of my team, the Premier and his wife is unknown, Premier’s daughter is safe. Assailants are mixed; some are Palestinian, and some Caucasian of unknown origin. All are armed with automatic weapons. The yacht is stopped and I am unsure of our location, Over.”
“Rosefern, Hawk’s Nest. We copy status. Dispatching teams Gimel and Dalet to your location. Eta, 0500.”
Sarah glanced at the clock on the wall, it was 0340 at the moment. 'Damn, an hour and 20 minutes to hold out before the backup teams arrive.' “Hawk’s Nest, Rosefern, Copy last. Will standby. Inform the teams they can contact me on 129.3 when they are in range for UHF. Rosefern Out.”
Sarah reluctantly set the handset down. She felt so close right now. That tie to home. She wasn’t alone. For the first time since she had been thrown into this soup, she felt truly scared. Small… insignificant … Alone ….
A tear rolled down her cheek. Dabbing it with her finger, she sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “God, why me?” she groaned. Part of her wished she could just be a captive, at least she wouldn’t have to be so self reliant. She just felt that the pressure of the past few days had been doubled by this. She was being asked to do something that even a sane healthy trooper would have a hard time completing. Yet it was up to her; just her. She knew full well this would be over inside an hour.
Screwing up her courage. She gritted her teeth as she opened the door from the comms room. “Time to save the fucking day,” she muttered to herself. “They so owe me leave after this.”
Moving with a mixture of apprehension and resolve. She neared the bridge. Ducking into a side passage, she waited, listening to the conversation ahead. There were two voices, both speaking Arabic. One was a native speaker, the other was not. The other sounded like Major Thesik…
‘I knew it.’ She thought to herself. ‘That bastard is mine.’
The two were discussing ways to proceed. Apparently, the crew and passengers were below deck, in the second stateroom of the yacht. The major was discussing with his accomplice which port to make for. After making some decision that Sarah couldn’t quite make out, she heard the major leave the bridge, and left the other crewman alone, or at least whoever was in there, alone.
Shortly after, she heard the Yacht’s engine roar to life.
'Shit, the helicopters will be heading for the wrong location, unless they can be updated on the GPS location by home base.' Sarah had to work off a premise that they could not. Anyway, it was IAF pilots. They had a tendency to get lost going to the bathroom. She couldn’t trust them to get this right.
Making her way back down the passage, she descended a deck. Slipping into the galley, she made her way towards the serving lift at the rear. She could make an entrance to the second stateroom unannounced. No, it would be stupid. They would expect that…
Removing the smoke grenade from her belt, she placed it in the small lift car. Tying a length of string around the pin, she tied that to a kitchen work surface nearby. Sliding the door shut on the lift, making sure the string was all inside, she hit the descend button.
Grabbing a towel from the rack, she quietly but swiftly made her way down the main stairwell, her rifle tucked into her shoulder, ready.
As she turned the corner, she could see the stateroom’s doors ahead. There was a fine mist of smoke drifting under the door, and what sounded like a riot taking place inside.
Grinning, she pulled the towel out of her pocket, and tied it around her lower face, covering her mouth and nose.
Moving forward, she approached the door. “Now or never,” she muttered, taking a deep breath.
With a well placed kick, like a cobra striking, she kicked the door open, moving forward with practiced ease.
Through the smokey haze, she saw her gamble was not misplaced. There were several guards, but all were standing, as opposed to the bound and seated hostages.
Lining up the first of the attackers in her sights; she unleashed a burst of lead into the man.
Without pause, she moved through the other 3 terrorists, cutting the men down like sheaves of wheat.
Moving across the room, she swept the hostages visually, all were bound, terrorist or not, they were not going anywhere. Continuing, she swept the room, the smoke now thinning. Confident that there was no further threat, she removed the towel from her face, and moved towards the hostages. All seemed to want freeing at once.
Ari just sat quietly, shaking his head; a cheesy grin across his lips. Sarah felt a strange flutter in her stomach seeing him alive. “Well it's about time you got out of that bed. I was beginning to wonder if we would have to cut you from it,” he smirked.
“Nice to see you, too.” With a look of mock distain on her face as she knelt to cut his bonds.
Rubbing his wrists, Ari stood, and taking Sarah’s face in his hands, kissed her softly on the lips. Gone was the hard cold unfeeling soldier; Sarah’s floodgates had broken. As they kissed, tears rolled down her cheeks; a mixture of pain, joy and fear.
“EHEM.”
Breaking away from Ari’s embrace, Sarah turned towards the group, blushing a deep crimson.
“If you’re done playing grab assy, I’d like cutting loose some time this week,” smirked Sergeant Goni.
*RIB: Rigid inflatable boat. A solid hulled dingy with inflatable portion of the hull. A step up from inflatable boats. Usually slightly bigger and favoured by amphibious groups for quiet and fast transport, either powered by an outboard engine or oars.
Note from the Author: Thanks for your kind words guys! I really appreciate all the comments. Sorry I don’t post up chapters fast enough, I’m rather busy atm, I just moved house. And I don’t have internet at home, so I have to use a university PC if I want to get online… I’ll try to get them posted faster or more often. But don’t rush an artist! Hehe.
Keep commenting guys. I honestly love your replies, and they inspire me to keep going.
Alyssa
Chapter 14 — Arrows Of Fire
Sarah blushed so deeply she could swear she felt steam pouring out of her ears.
“I ah, sorry,” She mumbled as she cut the Sergeant’s restraints.
The sergeant just looked at her with his favourite blank, unreadable expression, then grinned broadly. “Ah don’t worry. I was young once, believe it or not.”
As the three set about freeing the others, the troopers collected weapons from the dead attackers and secured their location.
Sarah could see nearly all of her team. Specialist Thomas, Corporal Silverberg and the Major were all missing.
“Were all three of them traitors?” Sarah asked, turning back to the sergeant. He was after all the highest ranking now.
“No. The bastards killed Silverberg when he went for his sidearm,” Goni growled.
“That bastard Thesik is in charge of things here… but it doesn’t seem like its his show.”
Sarah nodded. “Their techie weasel in the coms room told me they reported back to someone else.”
“You leave him alive?” Goni arched an eyebrow in Sarah’s direction as he checked the magazine on the Kalashnikov he had secured.
Sarah’s expression darkened. “”Sorry, he gave me reason to accidentally let my finger slip ...”
The sergeant stopped checking gear and looked her in the eyes. The comforting way he paid attention when there was something actually wrong was reassuring. “What reason was that?”
”He called me a transvestite ... Apparently, they all knew about me,” she explained, pulling a sour face. “And when they came to get Maritza, they were planning on killing me. I seem to have pissed off some seriously powerful people, boss,” she whispered softly, looking up at Goni.
“What did I say to you back at base that time?”
Sarah cocked her head. “What good would ‘fuck em’ do now?”
“Ordinarily, I’d agree. But you do happen to have a great deal of firepower, and after seeing you come in here alone like some female version of John Mclane on pms… I’d think your current ‘fuck em’ capabilities are quite a good option.
Sarah couldn’t help but smile. Truth be told, the ‘Diehard’ movie had run through her head more than once since this began. She felt very much like Bruce Willis ... What a disturbing thought…
“Corporal?”
Sarah turned coming face to face with the Premier and his wife. “Is our daughter safe?”
'Oh god, Maritza....' ”I left her under her bed in our berth, wearing my body armour, Sir,” She replied. “I felt it was safest considering. I'll take a trooper and go and retrieve her, sir.”
The Premier nodded curtly. Turning to leave, she made her way towards David Zeis.
”Sarah?”
She looked back. The Premier smiled. “Thank you for your timely assistance.” He winked.
“Nice to be appreciated sir.” She grinned.
Sarah and Zeis made their way out of the stateroom, heading aft towards the cabin she had shared with Maritza.
The two moved swiftly but stealthily. Moving about the boat was far simpler when you didn’t have to rely on yourself to cover 360 degrees.
Approaching the cabin door, Sarah held her finger to her lips before trying the door. Unlocked… Readying her weapon, she hit the open button before bursting into the room, weapon raised.
This was not right…. The man she had left unconscious in the chair had a bullet hole through his forehead. Dropping to the floor, she dove under the bed. Maritza was gone.
”Shit.”
“She’s not there?”
“No but…" She trailed off, her eyes fixed on a red blinking light beneath the bed.
“No what?” David asked, looking puzzled.
“GET OUT!” she screamed.
David had been around too many bombs to question a ‘get out’. He came flying out of the Berth, crashing into the side of the passageway in his headlong scramble for anywhere but there. Sarah was not far behind.
Stumbling, she fell forward, landing atop of the Trooper.
“Ordinarily, I’d enjoy this position. But what the fuck was that about?”
With a scowl, Sarah punched him in the arm. “I saw a b…”
her statement was cut short by a deafening blast from the berth. Smoke, flame and debris flew out of the door.
Coughing, Sarah rolled off David and lay on her back, panting. “I was going to say… I saw a bomb.”
”Ugh, No shit.” groaned Zeis.
Looking over at her teammate, Sarah burst out laughing. “Hey, did the earth move for you too, baby?” she grinned.
Groaning, David sat up, dusting himself off. “So she left then?”
”Yeah.” Replied Sarah sarcastically. “She left and they planted a bomb for us. That bastard’s got her.”
“Shit.”
The knot in Sarah’s stomach tightened. “He must have heard the gunfire. His people didn’t check in. SHIT. I should have taken her with me.”
“No, you did the right thing. Taking some kid along with you would put her and you in more danger than necessary.” David replied, setting off down the passageway. “Where did they tie up their boat?”
”Boats.” Sarah replied. “How did you?”
”They didn’t walk on water now, did they?” David offered.
“Yeah I guess. Ah, Stern, at the dive Platform, two ribs. I cut the fuel lines on em both, they aren’t going anywhere fast.
“Good girl.” David smiled looking back at Sarah.
The two made their way back along the passageway the same route Sarah had taken when she first left the berth.
Arriving at the stern ladder, they could hear voices outside.
“It's Thesik and some Arab.” hissed David. “How do you want to play this?”
”We aren’t.” Sarah replied shaking her head. “He has Maritza, we cant risk a fire fight. Plus, he wants me. Just make sure your shooting is better than your explosives….”
”I resemble that comment…” he smirked.
“I don’t know why he can’t have some insane hatred of you …. I’m the fucking sniper. I can trust my shooting.”
”Thanks for the vote of confidence, but you are not going out there alone.” David answered, placing a hand on her shoulder.
”Tough!” She spat, throwing her Kalashnikov at him.
Sarah walked up the steps to the stern deck.
The major was just visible down on the Dive platform. He was accompanied by two Arab men, one holding Maritza, the other fiddling in the one of the ribs, his work made more difficult by the wake of the yacht buffeting them about.
“Thesik!” she shouted.
The major looked around startled, then grinned broadly. “Well if it isn’t our prodigal son. Why did you have to be so God damned independent, David? Can’t you just be a good deviant and die by your own hand the first time?”
Sarah fought the desire to shoot this man. “You can’t make it, you know. There’s two Blackhawks on their way with the standby teams. You won’t make it more than a few miles.”
”Ah but they won’t attack me with her aboard. Thank you for leaving her for me. For once, you doing your job benefited me.”
”Sir, the boats good to go,” the man in the rib shouted in Arabic.
”Let her go, Thesik, you know you want me more. I disgust you. She’s just an innocent kid.”
The major threw back his head with a maniacal laugh that seemed far too comic to be truly nasty. “You are right David, you do disgust me, you perverted little freak. But sadly, I won't receive quite as much for my retirement plan for you.”
”So that’s it? You betray your country for money?” Sarah challenged, wanting to waste the man’s time. “And working with Palestinians? I thought even you had more respect than that.”
The man on the boat raised his AK towards Sarah, but Major Thesik batted it down. “No he’s mine,” he growled.
“So come on! Kill me!” Sarah challenged, walking slowly towards the top of the steps to the dive platform. “I know you want to.”
“Stay there, freak.” barked the Major. “None of your little games now, please.” After telling the man holding Maritza something, he cast off the line securing their boat to the yacht.
Sarah’s eyes followed the Rib as it bobbed away in the wake before powering off.
”So it’s just you and me now,” she growled.
”Yes, so it is. And believe me, this is a great pleasure.” The major pulled a baton from his vest, and flipped it open.
Taking the action as an invite, Sarah descended the steps to the platform.
“Ironic isn’t it,” she called as she circled him on the 12 ft square platform at the stern of the yacht.
”What is that?” smirked the Major.
”You decided to fight me like a man, not murder me in cold blood like I assumed you would. I’d have thought you wouldn’t want to get so close to something so perverted and disgusting.”
“Oh that is true, but I will derive greater satisfaction from beating your pretty sissy face in, Zayin kariyot,” he hissed as he lunged forwards.
Sarah felt the baton strike her left arm bellow the elbow, smashing the bone. Yelping, she stumbled backwards against the boat. The major had a twisted look of satisfaction on his face.
Blocking out the pain, she came forward rapidly, closing the distance between the two of them, making his baton almost useless. With her good hand, she slammed the heel of her fist into his jaw, snapping his head back.
Dazed, the major dropped the baton, but grabbed onto Sarah wildly.
Falling to the deck, the two grappled and exchanged blows. Sarah greatly disadvantaged by the broken arm.
Rolling over, the major came out above her, and sitting astride her torso, placed his hands around her neck.
Sarah could feel the life leaving her body as his hands tightened around her windpipe.
As black spots began to appear in her vision, she summoned all her strength and raised her legs up, launching the major headlong over her and flying into the bottom of second rib.
Springing to her feet, she yanked knot securing the rib’s mooring line to the yacht, sending it bobbing away, the major sprawled in the bottom.
The major regained his feet, stood in the rib as the gap between the two widened. ”Thank you David, perhaps I’ll post you the girl’s cunt. Then you can have one of your own.” He laughed as he moved to start the boat’s engine.
Sarah pulled the Glock from her holster and aimed at the open gas tank in the rib, which was sloshing fuel all over the bottom of the boat.
“Thesik, burn in hell, you bastard!” she screamed as she pulled the trigger.
The wide-eyed look of surprise on the Major’s face was erased from sight as the rib was torn apart by a blinding explosion.
Sarah was thrown back onto her butt on the dive platform, her head striking the deck with a crack that ripped consciousness from her.
Chapter 15 — Diana the hunter
“You know, if you keep doing this, you may eventually succeed and kill yourself,” Zeis grinned from above her.
“Huh?” she mumbled intelligently blinking in the sunlight.
”The whole blowing up thing … you seem far too fond of it. You’re beginning to make me look safe.”
Sarah wiggled all her bits, making sure her body was still in one piece and functioning. Satisfied, she pulled herself up to a sitting position.
“How long was I out?” She asked, wincing as she felt her injured forearm.
“Not long.” David muttered feeling her pulse, “Few seconds at most, though the major used that time productively and followed SOP.
Sarah looked at David with a confused expression. “Standard operating procedure for what?”
“Well, in cases of being blown up while in a boat, it’s SOP to scatter yourself over a large area, and sink.”
Sarah grinned at the thought, but rapidly felt guilt set in.
“Did he deserve it David?” she asked, looking into her teammate’s eyes for any sign.
”You think because he abused you, your judgment was clouded?”
Sarah nodded quietly.
David shook his head and gingerly patted his teammate and friend on the shoulder before overcoming some internal conflict and hugging her.
Sarah felt the hot tears trickling down her cheeks. Why was this so different? So much had changed recently. This wasn’t some nameless enemy, even the named ones she had less problem dealing with. Major Thesik had hurt HER, had caused her pain, for being herself, and she had acted with fire and passion; something that had never clouded her judgment before.
Sarah was brought back to reality by a dull thudding that began to rise over the chop of the waves against the hull and the dull throb of the yachts engines. Pulling herself off David, she saw two distant black dots emerge from the horizon.
”Time to go to work, David.” muttered Sarah. Emotions aside now, she was needed by another.
“David, head up to the bridge and tell Goni about the major, and that the birds are here. I’m going to go and guide them in.”
Nodding curtly, Zeis jogged off towards the bridge while Sarah climbed to the top deck of the yacht where the helicopter landing pad was located.
Ripping one of the smoke grenades from her vest, and dialling in the IAF vhf frequency, she signalled out to the incoming helicopters.
“Incoming aircraft, this is the Yacht Tahiyya. State your intent!”
“Tahiyya, this is IAF Blackhawk Omega 23 responding to Security forces Mayday.”
Placing the smoke grenade on the deck, she pulled the pin and stood back as the thick green smoke began to billow.
“Call sign Rosefern of the Tahiyya to Omega 23, popping smoke, confirm.”
The radio crackled before the voice on the other end responded. “Omega 23, we have green smoke. Thanks for the indicator.”
“Rosefern, Omega 23, are you carrying anti vessel snipers or is the other bird?”
“Aaah that’s a negative, Omega 24 has 2 A.M rifles aboard however.”
Smirking, Sarah pressed the call button on her radio; “Send omega 24 in to land first, I’ll be needing one of those.”
Flicking her radio to the main channel, she called for the sergeant.
“Archangel go.”
“Rosefern, Sergeant, I have a bird with A.M’s coming in, I’m going to go after the second rib.”
There was extended static while Sarah waited for the reply.
”You sure you’re up to it Yakobavitch?”
“Sir, they have Maritza, and I’m our best chance of stopping them before they can reach land.”
After another lengthy pause, the channel opened; “Go, but try and keep collateral damage to an absolute minimum.”
“Yes sir,” Sarah answered as she began to move towards the landing Blackhawk.
”Corporal?” Goni asked.
“Yes?” replied Sarah stopping short of the helicopter’s door.
”Don’t call me sir, I work for a living.”
Sarah smirked and ended the transmission.
Sliding the door open, one of the soldiers aboard offered her a hand into the belly of the aircraft.
“Thank you, as she Private.” She smiled retrieving the offered headset and the .50 calibre rifle.
“Corporal, where are we heading?” came the voice of the pilot over the radio headset.
“Where is the closest land?”
“That would be Tyre, 40 miles north of Haifa ma’am.”
“That’s across the Lebanon border. Are we cleared into their airspace?”
There was a pause, Sarah turned towards the pilot who glanced back at her with an expression that told her quite simply that they would not get caught, never mind have to explain.
“Well it's not like we are going to be staying long, is it?”
“Rodger that Ma’am.” came the reply as the bird began to pitch forward and accelerate away from the yacht.
Sarah slid along the floor of the helicopter till she reached the rear bulkhead, and clipped one of the lanyards around her waist before pulling the side door open and slipping her legs out.
If things were not so serious, she would enjoy the feeling of the wind blowing in her hair. The feeling reminded her of game hunting with her father in a helicopter in her childhood. But then she had been David…
There was nobody to please now; nobody to impress or win praise from, she would only get a reaction if she failed. That wasn’t going to happen.
“Got a small craft ahead, Ma’am, looks to be pulling 30 knots or so. What do you want to do?”
As her hands tightened around the rifle, Sarah thought about the fight with the Major. This was personal, but there was someone here at risk apart from her.
“Get in low and give them a warning.”
“You sure, ma’am?”
”We gotta take the risk, there’s a hostage at stake,” she called back over the roar of the rotors.
“Ahh, they’re Arabs?” came a hesitant response.
If Sarah gripped the rifle any harder, she would shatter the fibre stock. "We are not at war. That is the Premier’s daughter down there, and she MUST survive. We give them a chance. At the very least, they stop, and I get a better shot.”
“You’re the boss.”
Something in the pilot’s words told her he didn’t quite agree, but this wasn’t his call.
‘THIS IS THE ISRAELI AIR FORCE. STOP YOUR ENGINES AT ONCE OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE.’
Sarah Flicked on the dot sight of the rifle and raised it to her shoulder, gripping the bipod legs in her left hand.
The rib seemed to continue for a moment while the occupants looked back and forth between each other and the Blackhawk.
Sarah pulled the rifle into her shoulder and took aim just in front of the speeding vessel’s outboard motor.
The occupants seemed to have decided to continue their flight when a .50 calibre bullet exploded from Sarah’s rifle. Before the men in the Rib had heard the shot, the outboard motor on their vessel was torn from its mounting as the bullet struck home.
“Good shot.” grinned one of the troopers aboard the helicopter, patting Sarah on the thigh.
“Do you touch up your buddies in combat?” growled Sarah
“No?” replied the trooper looking confused.
“Any of your body parts jump into my personal space while I’m trying to concentrate, you jump out of this helicopter, we clear?” hissed Sarah at the startled trooper.
She knew she over reacted but she didn’t understand why men felt they had to touch her, or treat her like whatever she did was a far bigger accomplishment because she was a girl.
Forcing her concentration back onto the scene unfolding bellow she watched the frantic discussions of the men on the boat below.
“Give them another warning,” she shouted into the radio headset.
As the Blackhawk swung around in front of the Rib, it pulled back into a low hover buffeting down on the ocean surface below.
‘YOU WILL NOT BE WARNED AGAIN. DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND PLACE YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEADS.’ echoed the megaphone on the Helicopter.
The two Arab men aboard the Rib were standing now, holding weapons in their hands, Maritza was bound and lying in the bow of the Rib.
A clear shot.
The only things passing through Sarah’s brain right now were numbers and training.
As good as the pilot was, the helicopter was moving, as was the boat below, lightly bobbing in the waves. Any shot was going to involve some element of luck.
Sarah relaxed her breathing and raised the rifle towards the closer of the two men. As her pulse slowed, the movements began to slow, and she drew a bead on the centre of the man’s torso. There was no tear in her eye when she pulled the trigger this time.
The man’s torso exploded in a crimson shower. Without pause Sarah racked the bolt, chambering a second .50 calibre round. She saw the second man look up towards her; Kalashnikov in his hand pointing towards the deck. She could almost read his thoughts and as his arm began to move, so did her finger, lightly depressing the rifle’s trigger.
As her shot struck home, Sarah threw the rifle at the nearest trooper before unclipping her lanyard and slipping from the door of the helicopter.
The wind rushed past her as the ocean surface came up to greet her with open arms as she plunged the 40m from the hovering helicopter. Only the yank as she exited the door had told her she had forgotten to remove the headphones.
Slipping effortlessly through the surface of the water, she plunged down into the darkness before kicking her way back to the surface.
Momentarily disorientated, Sarah pushed her sodden hair from her face and looked around for the rib.
The vessel was bobbing quietly about 30 meters away from her. Swimming to the Rib, she grabbed onto the rope handles on the side of the inflatable hull to pull herself aboard. The two Arabs were clearly dead; no man could survive a .50 calibre round to the chest and live. Not from that range, one of the bullets had passed clean through its target and ruptured one of the rib’s inflatable cells, allowing seawater to lap over the deflated rim near the rear of the boat.
Confident they were safe, she turned her attention to Maritza.
Moving towards the bow, Sarah dropped to her knees beside the young girl and slipped her knife from its sheath. Loosing the girls bonds, she removed the gag and checked her pulse.
Sarah’s heart was beating so loud it was almost deafening as she mindlessly jabbered at the unconscious girl in her arms.
Feeling the girl stir, she gently held Maritza as she came around. “Lay still honey, you’re ok now, you’re safe.”
“Ugh, Sarah?” groaned the girl.
“Its okay, honey, I’m here.” soothed Sarah
Maritza swallowed and coughed before opening her eyes and looking up at Sarah, “Are my parents okay?” she croaked.
“They're safe, and so are you. Nobody is going to hurt you now.”
“For a moment there, they had me going.” She giggled before coughing again. With Sarah’s help she pulled herself into a sitting position before rubbing her wrists and ankles where the tight bounds had cut into her flesh.
“Are we going back to my parents?” Maritza asked, turning to Sarah, who was waving towards the circling Blackhawk, signalling their desire to leave the blood soaked Rib that was now their lifeboat.
“No, sweetie. We have to head back to Haifa, to the naval complex. its closer,and the helicopter has been flying too long. You’ll see your parents soon; another helicopter is flying them back from the yacht at the moment. They may be back before us.”
Quietly nodding, Maritza attempted to keep her feet out of the bottom of the rib, which was now a sloshing mixture of sea water and blood.
As the helicopter came into hover above them. Sarah waved guidance to the winch man as he began to lower a padded loop to lift them from the vessel.
Making sure she and Maritza were securely attached, she tugged on the winch line and felt the combined thrust as the helicopter began to lift up as they were winched in. Looking down at the Rib, she pulled one of the phosphorous grenades from her vest and pulled the pin, dropping it into the gently rolling deck.
As the helicopter began to pitch forwards and lift them away, there was a bright flash as the boat was consumed in a ball of fire and bright light. There would be no evidence of the hostage situation that had played out off the Lebanese coast. Slumping back against the bulkhead of the Helicopter, She slipped her arm around Maritza’s shoulder and hugged the girl to her. As they were wrapped in foil blankets and checked over, Sarah finally let her guard down. This mission was over.
But one still remained.
*A.M — Anti material rifle, large calibre rifle designed for taking unarmoured or lightly armoured vehicles.
Note from the authoress: Soooooo sorry this has taken so long guys! Ive had revision for exams, and i had 2 viruses, and had to format my pc and lost all my un posted work! :S (and uni work) So big dramaz there... and those of you who are author will know when you dont have that special inspiration... writing is either a chore, or just not gonna happen.... so i had to wait for my muse to return from her summer holiday and get her butt back in gear! Anyway, ill be labouring away to get more of haifa, born twice, and Homework up.... Homework i lost 2 chapters for, and i lost all of born twice! ill have to save it all off here :S
anyway, tell me what you think.... and for those of you who are bored, sarah has to confront her sexuality, family, and gender now without bullets to distract her! so finally its a trans story!
Alyssa
Chapter 16 — Boker Tov Haifa
The trip from the Blackhawk to the base hospital was a blur for Sarah. The pressure of the week had been too much, even for one as trained as she was. This was in no manual.
“Hello Corporal?”
Sarah snapped awake, there was a nurse standing before her as she dozed lightly in the small curtained examination area of the base hospital.
“Hmm” Sarah mumbled rubbing her eyes, “Sorry, its just been a long day.” She grimaced at the nurse.
“Well we totally understand my dear, we just need to give you a quick exam before we clear you and you can get some proper rest. Can you strip down for me please?”
The topic that had been tactically shoved into the dark recess of Sarah’s brain popped up again.
“Err, have you seen my medical records?”
This time it was the nurse’s turn to frown; “No, I think there is a file mix-up. Do you have a brother in the forces?”
Sarah blushed, “No.”
“Oh,” exclaimed the nurse, shuffling her clipboard thoughtfully. “Paper mix-up I guess,” she shrugged, “Come on then, lets get this over with so you can get some rest, huh?”
“The papers you have…” Sarah began, “Are probably the correct ones.”
The nurse chuckled and smiled. “I don’t quite think you are a David my dear.”
“I guess they didn’t get chance to change my medical records yet,” she mumbled.
Looking up from her toes as she sat dangling her legs off the side of the bed. She caught an expression of shock, suspicion and confusion on the nurse's face.
“You mean to tell me you are David Yakobavitch?” asked the nurse incredulously.
“Err, I was. I know my military record says Sarah now.”
The nurse looked at her for a moment mentally processing what was being said.
“I’ll go find the doctor,” she exclaimed, as if this was some amazing solution, leaving Sarah alone in the examination room.
Sighing, Sarah wagged her legs back and forwards and tried to think of a way to explain to the doctor.
“Corporal Yakobavitch?”
Sarah looked up to see an older doctor with Major’s rank on his collar.
“Yes?” she replied, wondering what the man would think of her when she explained.
“Colonel Mathias has explained your situation to me. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, you completely confused one of my staff nurses ….” He smiled.
“What has he told you?” she asked in a tiny voice.
“Well, he explained that you were transgender, and considering when he told me you had begun your transition, I’m somewhat surprised by meeting you. Can you tell me what medication you are on?”
“Err, none?” Sarah replied slowly looking confused. “I haven’t had chance to see a doctor about this yet, or really how to ….” She trailed off.
“Hrm, Well I need to make sure you’re healthy and fighting fit at the moment. You took quite a drop from a helicopter, and the various actions I was told very little about. But I'd like to refer you to a friend after this is dealt with, He is an expert in this field, and I would like him to perform some tests on the side, too. Check for biological abnormalities. You don’t really look like a David at all.” He chuckled.
“That’s the second time I’ve been told that today,” Sarah replied, smiling weakly. “How is Maritza?”
“Well she’s okay. She just needs some rest like you. But I know nothing of the situation, was there some sort of accident? I know her parents are in another ward here being checked over by people beyond my pay grade.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, she smiled, “Well it was an accident of sorts, but like you know, I can’t tell you … or they will have to kill me.”
Smirking, the doctor nodded knowingly. “Can we get this over with then? I'd like to get you in a bed as soon as possible. As far as I can see, your main requirement is sleep.”
Grudgingly, Sarah began to strip from the jumpsuit she had been loaned on arrival. Hming and Ahing the doctor poked and prodded and tested her till he was satisfied she was in good health.
Redressing, Sarah was lead from the hospital and escorted to a IAF Gulfstream waiting on the flight line at the naval base.
As she boarded, Sarah was greeted by the faces of her team-mates. The sergeant, Zoni, Ari, and Thomas were aboard all similarly attired in flight suits.
“Hey.” Smiled Ari as he saw her board the aircraft. “They done poking and prodding you?”
Sarah nodded tiredly and slumped into the seat beside him, too tired to wonder about her team-mates or whether she truly loved Ari, or the implications. She leant against his shoulder and dozed off to sleep.
“Hey. Wake up, sleepyhead.”
Sarah woke to find that they had landed.
“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?” she moaned groggily as she stretched in her seat, rather annoyed to have slept through the entire flight.
“You looked so peaceful, and it was kinda nice having you asleep on me.”
Ari’s reply made Sarah blush deeply. “Sorry,” she muttered, looking away.
“Hey you, look at me…” Ari said sternly touching Sarah’s cheek.
As she turned towards him, he drew her into a hug, and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“I know we have been friends for so long. I forget the exact number of years, but believe me when I say this… Sarah Yakobavitch… I love you.”
A lump grew in Sarah’s throat as she heard the man who had been a friend for so many years, and had been her closest ally in her coming out. The three last words broke the dam, and she dissolved into tears on his shoulder.
“I love you too.” She choked looking up into his eyes. Sarah felt her inhibitions melt away as he held her in his arms. Her gender, sexuality, her being felt complete, resolved…
Stretching up, she placed a kiss on his lips. A faint brush that was returned equally.
Sparks flew around her brain as their lip touched; at the pressure of his tongue on her lips, she parted them and melted under his kiss.
“This is going to be awkward for you.” She mumbled dreamily. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”
“Why?” Ari asked, caressing her cheek.
“You know… my being transsexual …. I don’t want you to suffer because of me.”
Frowning Ari shook his head. “Nobody can say anything to make me love you less. Just remember what gramps said…. Fuck em. You look like a girl, think like a girl, feel like a girl; to me, you are nothing but a girl, hell, you even kiss like one.” He grinned.
Ari’s final words made Sarah blush. As he was the first person she had kissed. She had never felt the desire to before now. There was nothing wrong; he was right. He was a man, and she was a woman. This was natural, simple, right…
Descending the steps of the Gulfstream, Sarah was blinded by the light outside. Gripping Ari’s hand tightly, she followed him to the waiting helicopter for the final leg of their return to their home base.
On the final leg, it was clear to their team-mates what had transpired on the Gulfstream. The sergeant grinned slyly whenever Sarah caught his eye. She knew that while he was happy for her, he would never ever tell her so. They would get digs from the rest of the team, but she knew that it would never be hurtful. The one thing Sarah worried about was her future on the team: Her relationship with Ari, and her gender made things complicated. The unit was largely left to its own way of running things, but IDF command did keep some rules, she was sure one of the two would leave Sayeret Matkal soon. She was adamant that it would be her. She would not hurt Ari’s career.
From the author: A short chapter admittedly, but I promise to post more tomorrow…. It just felt a good place to end it.
Chapter 17 — A little fire burns a great deal of corn
Sarah lay in her bed daydreaming. She loved that just woken up feeling of utter calm. She would often wake up a hour earlier to just extend that lovely feeling of rest. Today however was not to be one of those days. Their team had been placed on a fortnight's leave following the incident on the yacht. Sarah could imagine it was more to encourage them to follow the general story of an outbreak of food poisoning.
Swinging her legs from the bed Sarah stretched and rubbed her eyes. Ari lay sleeping in his bunk; One thing she was glad that hadn’t changed. Colonel Mathias probably forgot to move her she mused.
Pulling her towel off the rack and collecting her wash kit, she groggily padded down the hallway to the shower.
Stepping into the bathroom, she slung her towel over the railing and stepped under the steaming water within the nearest shower cubicle.
Today was no normal day; she was returning home.
The day before, she had phoned her mother and as much as it hurt her to hear the name that had pained her childhood, she had played the dutiful son informing his mother that he would be returning to visit his family.
But he wouldn’t.
Sarah was going to be returning, not David. It was the last emotional hurdle she could foresee, and one she would rather get out of the way sooner than later. Just the knowledge that she was only their son stabbed at her heart daily. She would let them know they had another daughter, even if they did not accept it.
Rinsing the soap from her hair, Sarah groped around outside the curtain for her towel and pulled it off the railing. Modesty returned, she exited the shower, wrapping the fluffy towel around herself. She approached the steamy mirror and wiped a patch with her hand; A bedraggled soggy Sarah looked back at her. Poking and prodding her face and making stupid expressions she really couldn’t see a David there at all. But she had not changed physically? Would her parents see Sarah or David in a dress?
Shrugging, she tore herself away from her reflection and slowly made her way back towards her room.
Slipping back inside, she quietly dried herself off and made her way to her wardrobe.
Androgyny? Boy? Or girl? Before she could convince herself that going as David was a good idea, she pulled a blue print summer dress from the wardrobe.
Shimmying her underwear up her legs she felt somewhat more modest in the presence of her sleeping lover. Despite Ari’s assurances, that one part of her made her more self conscious than any other. She was not his girl while she was reminded of that thing ... It bothered her more and more each day, the more she wanted to love Ari, that growth reminded her she was not worthy.
Smoothing her dress down she knelt to search her shoe rack for a suitable pair. It still amazed her how she had managed to fill her wardrobe in such a short space of time. Admittedly, Shamira was a one woman shopping explosion.
Liberally dosing herself in body spray, she collected her rucksack, and pausing to gently kiss Ari on the forehead, she slipped from the room, quietly closing the door behind her. As much as she wanted him with her, she knew this was a journey only she could take.
Clumsily locking the door, she made her way out of the barrack block into the bright morning sunshine.
By the time she had reached the bus stop outside the base main gate, she was beginning to feel the nervous pangs in her belly once more. Rummaging in her rucksack, she retrieved her cigarettes.
While she felt bad for doing it, now was not a time to deal with quitting, she needed the calming effects to relax her.
Lighting the cigarette, she waited beside the dusty road for the bus into the city. Before long, and too many cigarettes, she was aboard a sweltering hot bus rattling noisily into the centre of Hadera.
As she moved around the bustling city centre and train station, she realised that she had forgotten to worry. She stood on the platform and looked around her. People going about their business, waiting, chatting, nobody was staring, nobody was laughing at her, maybe she didn’t need to worry anyway?
As the train pulled into the station, Sarah joined the throngs of passengers boarding, and found herself a seat in one of the carriages.
Throughout the journey, Sarah could not pull her mind from the possible outcomes of her meeting. No matter how much she wanted them to just accept her, a niggling feeling at the back of her mind told her that it would not be.
The first hurdle would be Eliana, Sarah’s sister who would be picking her up from the station in Beersheba.
“Miss?”
Sarah’s eyes fluttered open to see a aging conductor standing over her in an emptying carriage.
“Oh sorry,” mumbled Sarah blinking. “I must have dozed off.”
“Its ok my dear. We just pulled into Beersheba; I remembered your ticket’s destination.” smiled the old man. “You reminded me of my granddaughter.”
Sarah blushed and thanked the conductor before collecting her belongings and making her way towards the carriage door.
Stepping out into the early evening she felt a slight chill; she couldn’t tell if it was her nerves, or the temperature.
Sarah walked towards the café they had arranged to meet in. After a brief scan of the tables, she saw her sister reading a novel at one of the far tables alone.
Moving over, Sarah felt her stomach doing flip-flops inside her belly. Swallowing hard, she approached. “Is this seat taken?” she asked, catching her sister’s attention.
“Oh I’m sorry, I’m waiting for someo…..” Sarah saw Eliana’s mouth hang open unable to finish the sentence. “David?”
Sarah eased herself into the seat opposite her sister and studied her face carefully before speaking.
She had been best friends with her big sister Eliana before she had moved to join the army. The two had done everything together. So many times, Sarah had been moments and words away from telling her sister about her, but had never found the words.
“Um, been a while huh?” she prompted intelligently, trying to reengage her sister’s brain.
“David…. She began slowly. “Sorry Da… Sorry, ah, I guess, um, this isn’t a joke is it?”
Sarah shook her head slowly. “No, Eliana.” She whispered quietly reaching across the table and taking her sister’s hand in her own and giving it a squeeze.
“This might sound corny…” Began Eliana with a weak smile, “But I sort of always felt you were different, more like me… I’m just a little sad that you didn’t trust me.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you Eli.” Sarah sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I was too scared, and I’m so so sorry.”
“Oh baby” Sighed Eliana wiping a tear from Sarah’s cheek. “You know you could have told me anything. I'd have kept your secret.”
“I know.” whispered Sarah. “Its just I don’t know if I could have said the words to anyone, it wasn’t you.”
“You certainly have changed, sister.” smiled Eliana, making Sarah blush. “I don’t think it’s fair to keep calling you David, people might wonder if I had gone mad,” she quipped.
“Um, S, Sarah.” She stammered awkwardly while staring at her lap. She looked up tentatively to gauge her sister’s reaction.
She was smiling. “It suits you… achoti.”
Sarah couldn’t hold it back any further, her sister’s words meant so much to her, and without a care for being in public, she broke down sobbing.
“Hush baby. It’s okay.” She felt her sister wrap her arms around her from behind and hug her tight.
“Eli.” Sarah sniffed quietly.
“Yes, sweetie?” her sister replied softly while dabbing her own moist eyes.
“Thank you.”
After composing themselves, the two made their way out of the station and towards the lot where Eliana had left her car.
“Do you think Aba and Ima will be angry?” Sarah asked in a very small voice as they walked along the pavement.
Eliana shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know sweetie. I know Aba had high expectations for you, his son the soldier …. He is very old-fashioned, you know…” Reaching for Sarah’s hand, she squeezed it tight in her own. “Ima always thought you were gay, to be honest. So I guess she might have an easier time accepting the new you.”
Sarah sighed audibly. “That’s what I’m trying to explain, Sis,” she replied exasperatedly stopping and pulling her sister to face her.
“I’m not a NEW person.” She pressed. “This is the same person you grew up with, you can just see me now.” She pressed, searching her sister’s eyes for understanding. “I’m not changing.” She sniffed.
Eli looked at the girl before her that had been her brother till this day. She could remember the pain she had seen in her brother growing up, His dull outlook, his depression. She could see the person before her. They looked the same, but different. But there was one noticeable difference.
The girl in front of her had eyes that shone with life.
“I know, my sister, I know.”
Hebrew translations:
Achoti — My Sister
Aba — Father
Ima - Mother
Chapter 18 — Love Does Funny Things
Sarah slumped down in the passenger seat as they pulled into the street she grew up in.
“Don’t worry, the neighbours have more important things to do than watch the street any time a car goes down it.” Eliana smiled, patting Sarah on the knee.
“I know, it’s just… all hit home now…” Sarah began. “I mean, I know before, but now it all suddenly matters… I’m home, and it’s real.” She sighed.
Eliana shrugged her shoulders as she turned the car into their driveway. “What’s done is done, little one.”
Squeezing her sister’s hand, Sarah Opened the car door and stepped out into the cold night air.
The front door opened ahead of her and her mother was framed by the warm glow from within.
“Eliana, David! Welcome!” she smiled broadly stepping forward to greet her children. “David?”
“Shalom Ima.” Sarah shyly responded looking at her feet. Feeling Eli’s hand slip into hers and squeeze, Sarah looked up at her mother.
“I don’t understand David….” His mother began looking confused, her eyes darting around her.
“Shall we go inside?” Eli prompted.
Her mother nodded before turning back to the house. Looking over her shoulder, she locked eyes with her youngest child before making her way back inside.
“Where are my children.” smiled their father as they stepped into the hallway. “Oh, I thought you were bringing David, princess. Who is this lovely young lady?” smiled her father.
“Don’t you recognise your own son?” replied their mother tersely.
Looking confused, Sarah’s father looked her over closely. “David?” he asked, his eyes widening in confusion.
“Yes Aba.” Sarah whispered quietly blushing with a mixture of fear and embaracement.
“Did she put you up to this?” he asked looking between Sarah and Eliana.
“Aba, Ima,” Eliana began. “This,” She announced gesturing towards her sister, “is your daughter Sarah.”
It seemed an eternity before either of them spoke. Sarah noted that both her parents seemed equally surprised by the revelation.
“I need a drink.” Her father sighed dramatically before turning and walking away towards the living room.
“Peter.” hissed Sarah’s mother. Turning back to her children, she smiled and embraced the pair. “Welcome home, my children.” She beamed, Eli, David, give me your coats, stop looking like you are at one of your father’s trials.” She beamed taking their coats.
“Ima, she’s called Sarah, not David.” Replied Eliana sternly.
Their mother sighed and took Sarah’s hand. “I’m sorry child, this is just still very much a shock to me. But tell me please; is this some dressing up game? Or is this what I think it is?”
“What do you think it is, Ima?” asked Sarah quietly, trying to avoid angering her mother still.”
“You think you are a woman?” she asked apprehensively.
Sarah sighed and slowly shook her head. “No Ima, I always have been. This is the same person you gave birth to. I was just hidden… buried… This is me, The real me, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner.” She answered seriously, a tear trickling down her cheek. “Just please, I beg you, don’t hate me,” She begged.
Her mother shook her head before embracing her youngest child in her arms. “I could never hate you, my dear.”
Sarah sobbed uncontrollably. As much as she had desired this outcome, she had not expected it. Years of pain, emotion and fear poured out on her mother’s shoulder.
Smiling broadly, Sarah wiped her eyes and finally felt at ease in her childhood home.
“It is a good thing then that you didn’t have any girlfriends waiting for you when you came home from the army,” grinned her mother.
Sarah blushed furiously. “I suppose now would be a good time to tell you that I never liked girls?”
Sarah’s mother waved her hand dismissively. “Ah, a mother knows these things. Admittedly, I just thought you liked boys, but this makes much more sense!” she smiled. “You are going to make me the mother of the bride a second time, yes?”
Sarah nodded happily. “Yes Ima, in fact it could be sooner than you think. I’ve fallen in lo…” Sarah’s confession was cut short by a cough from behind the group.
“Are you going to stand gossiping in the hall or are you going to sit here with me?” Da..Sar… child, would you talk with me?” her father stumbled.
Sarah frowned at his obvious difficulty with her name, but followed her father towards the veranda to the rear of the house.
Handing her a tumbler of amber liquid, Sarah stood reluctantly beside her father.
“I think I saved you from those two just in time.” he muttered. “Any longer and they would have been braiding your hair.”
Sarah sniffed at the liquid in her glass and remained quiet.
“I don’t know where I went wrong raising you. I taught you to shoot, to read, to ride your bike. Was I not a good role model?”
“No Aba.” sighed Sarah. “It’s nothing to do with you.”
“Don’t tell me that. Rhis is everything to do with me, you’re my child.” snapped her father.
“Aba, I didn’t mean it that way….” She began. “I… This is just who I am, I am a girl. I can't change that, you couldn’t change that any more than you can make the sun rise or set. You did nothing wrong.”
“You know we are not such an orthodox family that you couldn’t come out as gay if you preferred?” offered her father with resignation. “ I thought the army would straighten you out, toughen you up. Perhaps I was wrong.”
“Did you not hear me?” Sarah answered attempting to control her anger. “Look at me, Aba!” she demanded.
Turning towards his child, Peter stared at her. The moonlight caught her face just right. She truly was beautiful, His baby…. No his son.
“Aba, I am a girl. I was born with a problem; I had boy parts where they didn’t belong. By the time I truly understood this, I was too scared to tell you because of how I thought you’d react… I have obeyed you and been a good child, but please, do not ask me to be your son, I cannot do it.” She sighed, “I will not.”
Peter Yakobavitch stood there looking into his child’s eyes. She had the fire and stubbornness he had loved when he first met Sharon. They even looked alike, his girls, how had he not seen this? How had he been so fixated on having a son in the image of himself? A lone tear rolled from the man’s eye as he locked eyes with his daughter.
“Give your father a hug, my daughter.” He sighed, sweeping his child into his embrace. “I love you .… Sarah."
From Alyssa: Sorry this is a short one, im a bit sick atm, so i tried to get as much as i could out. I'll be doing more soon and more regularly now. :)
Alyssa xx Also, for those confused amungst you, I am belladonna :P
Chapter 18 part 2 — Love On the Line
“Do you mean it Aba?” she asked apprehensively. Unsure weather to believe her father’s change of heart or be wary.
Sighing, her father moved over to one of the wicker chairs on the deck, gesturing her to join him.
Gingerly, Sarah lowered herself into a seat beside her father, all the while studying his face. Her father the tough lawyer seemed so conflicted at the moment… so fragile…. So… human. Sarah reached out her hand towards her father’s and gave it a soft squeeze.
Collecting his thoughts, he opened his mouth with purpose, downed the last of his whiskey, and began to speak;
“For the longest time, I wanted a son. I wanted a boy to teach to hunt, fish, to be my heir.” He answered sadly. “I saw you growing up, and in my heart, I knew you were never going to be the ideal son I had pictured. I thought you and that boy Ari being friends would toughen you up, he seemed a strong boyish kid.” He sighed looking over at Sarah. “I hoped he could influence you, maybe show you how a boy should act, But I don’t know…” he trailed off looking pensive.
“Aba, nobody could change me, or make me any different to how I am, it was gods will to make me a girl in here when I was born.” Sarah replied quietly touching her hand to her breast. “You and Ima could not have changed god’s will. You have been good parents, and I love you so, I just ask that you try to love your child still. I have not changed quite as much as you think.”
Peter looked across at his child. She was right. He was even thinking of her as a girl, which confused him, and saddened him, as though he was allowing his hope of a son vanish in a pronoun. She was right, she had never been his son, as much as he had wanted it. The child that sat next to him now was successful, happy, strong, and a credit to any parents. Would two daughters be so bad? It would cost more of course… but he had no choice in the matter. Glancing over Sarah, he saw the way she nervously chewed her lip, the way her mother did. The same beautiful hair, the same nose. This was no boy, no matter what she had been when she was born. This child before him was his baby girl. Realising this washed all conflict from Peter’s mind.
“Sarah.” He called softly, snapping her from her trance. “Yes, I meant it, now give your father a hug my daughter.”
Sarah jumped up and rushed to the arms of her father. His arms felt as strong as always. The same bear like grip that made her feel so secure. Tears rolled freely down her cheeks, not from pain or fear, but joy.
“Aba.” She sniffed quietly, not wanting to tear herself away from the embrace. “About Ari.”
“Yes little one?” her father began apprehensively.”
“Well.” Sarah replied quietly. “You may still have a son after all.”
Releasing her from the embrace, her father slumped down into his chair before looking up smiling at Sarah. “You do not need to further prove you are my daughter by spending every Sheqel I possess…” he smiled.
His face taking a serious edge, he gestured her to his lap.
Taking a position she had not been in since her infancy, Sarah slipped onto her father’s knee and wrapped her arms around his neck, snuggling into his shoulder.
“Does he love you?” he asked. “For this you? Or as David?”
Sarah shook her head. “No Aba, he loves me, we were good friends, the best of friends when I was David, but he dragged this out of me, he made me see myself, the me I had been hiding from him, and I realised he was more than my best friend. We are in love Aba, as man and woman. And he knows, and he still loves me. Now I realise why we were so close. It was not a friendship between two boys, but a childhood romance neither participant knew was going on. This is meant to be Aba. I hope you are not angry.. She trailed off.
Rocking his daughter gently, he sighed. “I could not ask for a better son in Ari Weismann. He will make you a good husband.” He whispered.
“Now tell your father. Why did you leave the army and not tell us? I thought you were happy… you enjoyed it no?
Sarah looked at her father for a moment. “I did not leave Aba… I am on leave….”
“So I take it my daughter is only my daughter while she is at home?” he asked with a confused expression. “As resistant as I was to the idea. I don’t think you give the impression of a son of Israel well….”
“My commanding officer wanted me to stay, and he fixed things with some politicians, its not publicised.” She began. “I know its not really with IDF policy, but as most people thought I was a girl anyway, they figured it was no harm leaving me. Especially as my err, unique skills, are hard to replace just because I wanted to use a different bathroom….” She grinned.
“That is courtroom logic my daughter.” He smiled. “Your commanding officer must think very highly of you. I know I do, especially now.” He replied softly.
“Well if that’s not a photo moment.” Beamed Eliana from the doorway.
Sarah snuggled into her father’s chest and grinned at her sister. “He has a knee spare.” She laughed.
“I think I am too old for that little one.” Smirked Eli “Come inside you two. There is much catching up to do.” She called as she turned to head back inside.
Hugging her father, Sarah felt content with life. The ache of fear in her tummy ebbed quietly away. She was home, she was free, and she was herself. Silently, she thanked god for his choice of parents.
After many hours of talking, and catching up, Sarah lay in her childhood bedroom staring at the ceiling. It may have been the room that David grew up in, that David cried and hated himself in, but now, to Sarah, it felt like peace.
From Alyssa: Short update to yesterday's chapter, It was too short, i felt too sick, and now i feel better after a good sleep, so heres part 2!
xxx Alyssa
Chapter 19 — On Target.
Sarah woke suddenly. The sun was streaming through the gap in her curtains, signalling a new day. It wasn’t the comfortable, sleepy awakening she enjoyed, but she felt renewed, full of energy and ready for the day.
As she lay in bed, her eyes drifted around the room. It was definitely David’s. The room she had sculpted to please her parents. The sports posters, the fighter jet photographs. Even her old rifle sat in the corner.
Gently slipping her legs from the bed. Sarah was very aware of her past in this place. So many memories… so many feelings. She was happy for a large part of it of course, the times she could do something… anything… she didn’t have to think about herself. It was her childhood, there was no changing that.
Stretching, she slowly padded over to her old rifle. The gun her father had bought her when she turned 12, the gun she had been taught to shoot with.
She sat down on the edge of her bed, cradling the rifle in her hands, her fingers rubbing the grain of the stock. Just touching the thing brought he back to the day when her father taught her to fire the thing. To aim, to breathe correctly. She remembered his gentle, firm instruction. It had seen her through her life so far in more than just shooting…
‘Relax before you do anything, line up what you want, and get it first time. Passion and fire will only cause you to rush, and waver.’
How that had held true…
Gently placing the rifle against her nightstand, she rose from the bed and pulled apart her curtains. The bright sunlight made her blink momentarily. It was still the same…. The neighbourhood she had grown up in was hardly different…. Would she be able to face it? Or would she sneak out the same way she had arrived? Avoiding those who might know her…
The knock at her bedroom door broke her from her thoughts. “Hello?” she called uncertainly, wrapping her robe around her tighter.
The door opened and her mother appeared bearing two mugs. “I thought I heard you moving around darling.” She smiled warmly.
Relaxing, Sarah returned the smile and took one of the offered mugs.
“Thought you might need this, you always liked me bringing you coffee in the morning,” said her mother wistfully, as if remembering a happier time.
“I still do Ima.” Sarah replied slipping her hand into her mother’s and giving it a squeeze.
“You know, you seem a lot more natural now my dear.” began her mother slowly.
Slumping down on her bed with a leg beneath her, Sarah looked quizzically at her mother. “Natural?” she repeated wrinkling her brow. “How so?”
Joining her on the edge of the bed, Sarah’s mother patted her child’s knee. “You just seemed a little forced last night, your actions and mannerisms seemed deliberate, forced, and unnatural…..” She began. Before Sarah could protest, she continued. “Seeing you this morning proved that to me…. You were trying to prove yourself to me, prove you were worthy to be my daughter. Worried we would think you unfeminine if you relaxed. Believe me dear, Seeing you now is prove to the opposite. Even the way you sit is totally female…. What confuses me, is this is how you always acted, sat, moved, reacted… you really haven’t changed. Just your shell seems more appropriate now.” She smiled.
“I really don’t know what to say Ima.” sniffed Sarah, fighting back tears. “I wish I could have told you sooner, I was just terrified of myself… I know I probably let you and Aba down… I wasn’t the son you wanted… That you expected….” She answered quietly.
“Daughter, believe me, you could never disappoint me and your father. Of course, I would have loved a son, but that does not change the fact that I was blessed with two daughters, and I see that now. I never had a son. So I fail to see what I should be disappointed about….” She smiled softly at her child. “Your father and I had a long talk last night. And we want to be there for you… To help you, love you, and rejoice in your successes… Nothing will change the fact that you are our child, our baby. You were a blessing to us, we want what makes you happy.”
Unable to restrain her tears, Sarah Hugged her mother tightly. The world didn’t matter now she had the approval of those who mattered, those she cared about.
“Come on you, get dressed now and face the day properly.” Smirked her mother. “You cannot stay in your bed all day, or ill be forced to spank your bottom madam.”
“Yes Ima” giggled Sarah smiling broadly. Words could not describe how good it felt to be normal… Just a regular girl …
After a brief shower, Sarah made her way downstairs. Looking around, she saw her mother working by the sideboard, but nobody else.
“Ima, where are Eli and Aba?” she asked cocking her head to one side as she slipped onto one of the bar stools in the kitchen.
“Oh hello dear.” Her mother smiled turning at the sound. “They went out, Eli needed some things and you know how your father is with her…” she smirked.
Sarah grinned. “He will be penniless when he returns.”
Her mother chuckled as she chopped fruit, “Well he does like to dote on his only daughter.” As the dagger like words slid into Sarah’s heart, her mother spun around with her hands to her mouth. “I’m sorry darling. I.. .I just… its taking some getting used to.” Her mother stumbled apologetically.
“Sarah looked down at the wood grain of the table. “It's okay Ima, I didn’t expect things to be perfect straight away.”
“No darling, I’m sorry, I should be able to get something so simple right….” Her mother replied softly placing her hand on Sarah’s shoulder.
“It's okay, Ima,” she sniffed quietly. “Is there any more coffee?” she asked brightly, hoping to change the subject.
“Of course. One moment dear.” Her mother smiled, rubbing her shoulder before busying herself in the kitchen, clearly catching that Sarah did not want to talk about things further. She had always been like this with her mother. They had always got each other's clues and signals.
How could she not have spoken to her mother? She had known that she was unhappy and tried to talk… but any time she did… she had just pushed her away. Sarah felt a massive pang of guilt that she had not had enough love to trust her mother, what if? What would things have been like? Where would she be now? Surely not doing what she did, that was certain in her mind.
As the two sat quietly drinking coffee at the table, Sarah pushed her chair back and looked squarely at her mother. “I’m seeing someone.”
Her mother stopped mid sip and looked across at her daughter. “Aaah, that’s nice dear. What’s hi … ah … he … um, their name?”
Sarah looked at her mother. She was trying to be delicate, and she could tell that her mother was thinking very hard about gender and sexuality at this moment in time.
“It’s a man, Ima. … It’s Ari Weismann …”
“Does your father know?” she asked tentatively, watching her daughter’s expression.
“Uhuh,” nodded Sarah, “When we talked last night.”
“Oh,” stated her mother simply. “I shall have to talk to the Rabbi about this … Surely he can find some way for you to still be a boy and love Ari? You don’t have to be a woman if its not what you want dear … If its because of this ….”
Sarah didn’t hear the end of her mother’s sentence. The door slamming saw to that.
Chapter 20 — Nobody Escapes
Sarah ran blindly. She had to get away from that place.
When her eyes were too full of tears to see where she was heading, she slumped down against a wall, hugging her knees to her chest, and sobbed uncontrollably.
Why? What had she done? Her mother told she loved her and understood? Was she just doing it to hurt her? Was it all a big joke? Was everyone just… humouring her?
She had expected so much… she had let her guard down at the false acceptance and this is how they paid her back…
Sarah lifted her head from her knees sighing deeply. Running her hand through her hair she looked around her:
She didn’t recognise the neighbourhood. She was sitting in the dust in an alley between houses. She couldn’t be far from home, but these houses all looked the same, and she had no idea how far she had run. At that moment in time, she really didn’t care either.
Dragging herself to her feet she looked both ways down the alley she was in before heading off down the alley towards the nearest street.
Stepping out onto the pavement, Sarah recognised the street. She used to walk it every day to school; it was about three quarters of a mile from her parents’ home.
Sarah didn’t know if she was ready to face things yet; she knew she would have to at some point, but couldn’t quite bring herself to try just now.
Turning, she slowly traced her invisible footsteps from years passed towards her old school. Why, she didn’t know. Perhaps something about the old place drew her to it. It had been an important part of her life. By no means a happy part, but regardless, it was why she had remained in the army after her conscription…
Nothing much along the way had changed. The same shops, the same houses… even the group of old men by the park were still there.
As she neared the gates, she stopped by the chain link fence. Staring across the yard, the buildings looked sad and dark. Memories came flooding back to her as she gripped the fence tightly; the bullying, the pain, the ostracism… Why had she come here? This was not a happy place; not for her.
High school was never easy for anyone, she knew that, but her time had been especially traumatic. Sarah had known that she wasn’t like the other boys when she was little, and by the time she reached high school, that feeling was overpowering.
All she had wanted was to be like the other girls…. Wear her hair in pretty styles… wear the cute dresses like the other girls… It was not to be…
The boys always picked on David, he was smaller, and weaker, and he wasn’t quite what they saw as normal. He had tried to fit in; to be one of the boys, but he always made some social faux pas that rewarded him with further ridicule. Ari had been the only reason she had survived that hell hole. If He hadn’t been her friend, and ally, she doubted she would have made it out alive. Ari had taken flack for being her friend, had lost his own social standing and friends by befriending David and standing with him against the bullies.
She owed that man so much…
She had to come though... They had come through… That chapter of her life had needed closure. She knew now she had survived it, she was a better person. It made her smile to think of what they would say about her now… She turned away from the buildings and left that chapter in her past.
After a short while, she had reached the centre of town. She hadn’t intended to come here, but her feet had carried her at their own desire.
Rummaging in her jeans pockets, she found some cash, but nothing else. Why did running away always mean being unprepared?
Sarah aimlessly traversed the shopping streets, occasionally stopping and glancing in a window. As much as she wanted to go in and try an outfit on, she didn’t feel in the mood for shopping.
Finally ending up in the main square, Sarah stopped, looking around her for some excuse not to return home… On the far side, she spotted an open air café. She was really missing that coffee she ran out on…
Sitting down at a table, she caught the attention of a passing waitress and ordered herself a new cup of coffee.
It was a gorgeous morning, and the square was full of shoppers. Sarah reverted to her childhood pastime of people watching; somehow observing the bustle and stress relaxed her.
What had she said? Done? Why had her mother thought she was doing this just to feel less guilty for loving Ari? Didn’t she explain that he came after? That she had felt like this always?
Her train of thought was broken by the arrival of her coffee. Slowly sipping the hot liquid she sighed and stared off into space.
“Hi, can I sit here?”
Sarah looked up to see a young man in military uniform standing above her, then past him to the group of soldiers he was clearly with by another table. A part of her danced that they thought her worthy of a bet, but another deeper part felt annoyed.
“Sure.” She smiled sweetly as the young Private took a seat opposite her. “So you’re a soldier.” She stated matter of factly sipping her coffee.
The young man nodded. “Uhuh, me and my squad are on leave, we’re with the commandos.”
Smirking inwardly, Sarah decided she could use cheering up. “Ohh, that’s awesome,” she bubbled. “Isn’t it very dangerous? You must be so brave.” She smiled placing her hand on his.
“What’s your name?” the young private grinned.
“I’m Sarah, what’s yours?” She purred.
“Michael.” He replied. “You from around here?”
“Uhuh.” Sarah smiled. “I live just out of town.” She replied, maintaining her purposeful vagueness.
The private smiled at her. She could tell instantly he wasn’t Special Forces... He just didn’t have the look… Besides … having an mechanic’s insignia on his uniform didn’t help his case.
“So what do you do?” he pressed.
“Oh I’m in the army too,” she grinned.
Michael looked momentarily worried before repairing his grin. “Clerk? Technician?” he asked casually.
“Sayeret.” Smirked Sarah. “I’m a sniper.” She purred into his ear as she dropped a bill on the table and made her way to the exit to the café. “Lovely meeting you, Michael,” she replied cheerily. Loud enough for his friends to overhear, “I’ll give you a call if we need any ‘commando’ mechanics,” she finished before walking out of the café.
As she walked across the square, she could hear the raucous laughter of the private’s friends. She felt sorry for him in a way, but it was his own silly fault for lying and thinking she would be impressed by his macho bullshit.
Her mother still pressed on her mind, but after her coffee and morning ‘exercise’, she felt almost ready to face some of her family. Walking over to a payphone, she slipped a few coins into the slot and dialled her sister’s cell number.
Chapter 21 — Sweet Dreams and Nightmares
The sun beat down onto the town square casting a glare up from the stone surface polished to almost a mirror finish by the thousands of feet that traversed it daily. Sarah took shelter in the shade provided by a wizened old tree.
She couldn’t begin to wonder where she had gone wrong. Was her mother right? Was she even HER mother? Sarah kicked a dusty pebble away from the base of the tree and sighed. What if everyone was right? She had been born a boy, maybe that was right? What if she was just confused? She had heard the view many times, and her mother’s reaction couldn’t have been more certain.
She knew she was a girl, it was almost certain in her mind. As certain as she needed air, and the wind that blew down from the heights. It was her soul, she felt it. But surely the mad felt as certain as this? The old man down the road from her parents house, that had gone around professing his ability to talk to animals... had he felt as certain of this? That everyone was mad for not believing him?
God, she wished she knew. The uncertainty hurt her more than anything.
“You know, you can’t stay here for the rest of the weekend little one.” Eli called softly from behind. Sarah started suddenly, feeling guilty she had allowed her guard to fall so far.
“Maybe I want to.” She replied quietly, turning to face her sister.
Eliana looked worried. “Ima didn’t mean it Sarah.” She whispered clasping her sisters hand in hers. “Please come back, she’s worried about you... Upset that she hurt you.”
Sarah frowned. “She called me a boy Eli, she pretended to understand.... I... I can’t...” she whispered softly, a tear rolling down her cheek...
Eliana pulled her sister to her as she cried. “Don’t worry baby, you come home with me, I’ll not let them hurt you.” She soothed stroking Sarah’s hair.
Sarah found herself in the driveway of her parents house once more, feeling as apprehensive as the last time. “Cant you just get my stuff and take me back to the station?” she asked quietly, more of herself than Eliana.
“No baby.” She whispered gripping her sister’s slightly shaking hand. “Come on, I’ll look after you, I promise.”
For the second time in as many days, Sarah stood before the door to her house: The chime of the doorbell struck like a knife into her beating heart.
The door opened and Sarah came face to face with her mother once more. “Sarah?” she asked quietly, almost fearfully.
Sarah looked into her eyes. Her mother looked drawn, and tired, weak, she had been crying. “Ima.” Sarah replied quietly looking anywhere but at her mother.
“I’m sorry chid, she murmured cautiously.” Reaching out to touch her daughter’s cheek. “I was wrong.” She whispered, lifting Sarah’s chin. “I couldn’t see you... For my love of you... ah, for him, my son; I could not see you my darling.” She sobbed. “I, I... Please forgive me,” she asked quietly looking into Sarah’s eyes.
The jolt struck Sarah deep within her core; love; a love she had not felt in years. Her mother truly cared for HER. In that one moment, things became so firm, so sure... Sarah knew who she was right then. Smiling through her tears, she hugged her mother.
“I... When I left this morning, I thought you hated me, I thought you believed I was a boy still... that you had lied to me last night. It... It just terrified me, it was rash I’m sorry.
“I got confused.” She admitted. “I was still thinking of you as my boy... my baby boy that had grown up with Ari Weismann as a friend... Not as my daughter who had fallen for charming young man.” Their mother replied.
“I think we ought to start fresh, Sarah’s past won't ever go away, but we do need to let go of David... He was a good brother, and a good Son.” Eliana began. “But in his stead, we have Sarah, a new sister for me, and a new child for you Ima. It’s time we got to know her.” She beamed, hugging her sister.
The next morning , Sarah walked with her sister to the station in town. It felt strangely normal. Taking a cigarette from her bag, she slipped it between her lips and fished for her lighter: Finding it, she lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. As the nicotine rushed to her head, she felt strangely aware that morning. A veil had been lifted from her eyes, the world seemed more colourful.
There was no pretence anymore, no lies, no deception. The people she loved most in the world knew about her, they knew their daughter. And she was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time.
Entering the building, she scanned the board for her train, and the pair made their way up onto the platform.
“I’m going to miss you.” Eli smiled, squeezing her sister’s hand.
Sarah hugged her sister. “Me too...” She began feeling her body tense up. Behind her sister several men were walking, they seemed out of place, and entirely focused on them. Her impromptu hug had caught them off guard and they had not been able to blend into the surroundings in time.
The Four were of Arabic origin, and their drab clothing and rucksacks looked entirely out of place on an early Monday morning. Pretending she hadn’t seen the men, Sarah broke off the hug and took her sister’s hand pulling her onwards.
“What?” Eliana asked twisting her head around the way they had come “What’s wrong?” she asked innocently.
“Nothing, come with me, please.” Sarah urged quietly, hoping the men had not noticed anything.
“What is it Sarah?” Eli asked again, beginning to look worried catching the determined expression on her sister’s face.
“Look, don’t react Eli ok? There are some men following us ... following me ... I think ...”
Eli looked curiously at her sister. “Why would there be men following you?”
“I...” Sarah began, wondering how much she should tell her sister, or if it was even relevant. “Some people don’t like me, its a work thing...” Sarah sighed dragging her sister around a concession stand on the platform towards a departures board.
Looking up, Sarah pretended to search the trains on the computer screen, she watched the reflection of the platform behind her.
The four men were not alone, and were clearly watching her. Sarah’s heart began to beat faster. A switch in her flipped into combat mode. She was unarmed, accompanied by her sister, and outnumbered. The numbers didn’t look good. Her only hope was to run, fast, and get her sister out.
Sarah checked her watch, the train was due in moments, and the men hadn’t made a move yet, she had to assume they were waiting for her to board.
Sarah’s pace quickened as the train pulled in, this was where her hopes hinged. Eliana had been quiet and Sarah gripped her sister’s hand tight. “Come on, I’m not leaving you here.” She whispered.
“I don’t have a ticket.” Mumbled Eliana weakly. Sarah looked at her sister; the vivacious girl was pale and subdued. She had never seen her sister look like that.
“I don’t think that matters, honey.” Sarah muttered half to herself, squeezing her sister’s hand tightly.
The train rolled into the station and came to a halt. In the bustle of boarding and alighting passengers, Sarah pulled her sister with her into the nearest coach. In the sea of human waves, 8 men boarded the 10.25 to Beersheba. All for business, none for pleasure.
Note from author: Sorry guys, Its been a while, and i know that, But i lost my computer, and ive only just got a new one, Consider this a late christmas present, I hope you all like it, Lots more Haifa to come soon, and for a long time!
Alyssa
“You think I just want to kill you? You’re going to suffer my boy… You’ll have ring side seats for your sister’s rape, torture and death, then I might kill you… after some playtime.” He smirked, running a finger across Sarah’s cheek. “After all, you do want to be a woman don’t you? My dear little David…”
Sarah lent back against the closed door as the train began to move. “We are in trouble.” She announced into thin air
“What are we going to do?” Eliana asked meekly, keeping very close to her sister’s side.
“I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go along.” Sarah sighed, “I didn’t get a good look at them, but I can guess who they work for.”
Eliana looked across at Sarah and frowned. “Now would be a good time to tell me why… I’m involved too now … And I don’t think they want to give us a big friendly hug by the way you’re acting!” she hissed.
Sarah looked at her sister “I pissed off some bad people,” she said with a weak smile. “I personally got in the way of a fairly extensive plan to kidnap and potentially murder the prime minister and his family.”
“But they said in the news it was food poisoning?” Eli replied slowly, mulling the news over in her mind.
“It’s not something we want to publicise … not till we destroy the threat.” Sarah muttered. “But it looks like the threat wants to tie up our loose ends, and one of them was a traitor.”
“Really?” Eli gasped. “So it’s even more personal?”
Sarah nodded and peeked around the doorway to avoid further discussion with her sister. She didn’t want to verbalise the fear that it was more that her intervention that made her a target.
The carriage looked normal, so tugging her sister with her down the aisle, they had made it about half way down the coach when three of the men she had seen on the platform appeared ahead of them at the carriage door. A burst of panic ripped through her as she spun on her heels to move the opposite direction. She had just pulled Eli around by the time she noticed men in the far doorway, too… They were trapped…
The morning commuters on the train seemed oblivious to the situation unfolding; reading newspapers, listening to ipods, or chatting to each other. As the men began to close the distance, Sarah had a flash of inspiration; “Oh my God! He’s got a bomb!” she screamed, pointing down the carriage towards the first group of men. The sudden attention fixed on them stopped the men dead in their tracks, and the ensuing stampede utterly blocked them off from Sarah.
Pushing her sister into an empty seat, she slipped through the press of people trying to escape the carriage towards the second group of men, now flattened against the wall near the door.
Coming up beside one of the men, she delivered a swift jab to the man’s temple, robbing him of his consciousness. As his compatriots began to react, she kneed the closest in the groin before elbowing him in the back of his suddenly lowered head, sending him to join his friend. The third man managed to land a punch which stunned Sarah momentarily. As he came at her once more, she ducked his clumsy hook and slipped under his arm and behind him, deftly snapping his neck as his momentum carried him forward. Snapping her brain out of combat mode, she turned and began forcing her way back towards her sister through the now rapidly emptying carriage.
Reaching her sister, she grabbed the girl roughly, pulled her from the seat she had been hiding in and pulled her back along the walkway. Reaching the door, she pushed Eliana through, and slammed the carriage door closed. Through the glass windows, she saw the other group of men elbowing past hysterical commuters trying to reach them. She needed to buy time … Spotting a rescue axe in a safety glass compartment to her side, she smashed the glass and slipped the tool through the handles on the door. Herding her docile sister into the other carriage, she returned to the passageway linking the two cars. The men had reached the door, and were trying to get it open. She didn’t have long, but hey, it worked in the movies didn’t it?
Scanning the floor, she found an access panel and yanked it open. She was greeted by a blast of air and blurred track beneath them. How the heck did you disconnect carriages? The heroes in action movies always knew, she thought…. Spotting a greasy lever on the coupling, she pulled at it but the thing wouldn’t budge, and the axe wasn’t going to hold forever… Placing her foot against the far carriage, she pulled with all the strength she possessed. The lever flew up with a jolt, and the coupling sprang open, sending Sarah sprawling for a handhold to stop her slipping under the speeding wheels of the train.
Pulling herself back into the coach, the gap began to widen as the weight of the trailing carriages began to slow them, now free rolling. The brake line snapped, as the rubber hose became the last thing linking the carriages, spraying hot brake fluid over one of the assailants as he managed to smash through the door. Behind their screaming compatriot, the other men could only watch as their carriage pulled away.
Sarah let out a sigh as she lay sprawled on the carriage floor. Why couldn’t she have had a normal job, left the army after her conscription and just gone to work for her father? Or something safe … like the bomb squad …
Rolling over, she began to haul herself to her feet when she came face to face with the barrel of a pistol. “Very nice, David. A lovely little show.”
Taking her eyes off the mesmerising darkness of the barrel, she looked up, her eyes connecting with the dark soulless pools that belonged to Major Thesik.
“You didn’t think I was dead now did you?” he smiled sadistically. “Aw …” he mocked. “The little tranny looks surprised to see us.” He laughed.
Sarah cast her eyes past the major, and was greeted by a second shock; Eliana was struggling under the grip of Specialist Thomas, who was gripping her by the throat, a gun to her head…
“Let her go, you scum,” she hissed, coming to her haunches.
“Ah, ah, ah,” The major urged, pushing the barrel of the pistol against her forehead. “I’ll have none of your heroics, David. You quite depleted my manpower already, Good help is hard to find.”
“You seem to have interrupted our plans once more David.” The major smiled sardonically, “Regardless, my mission now is something you cannot avert. You cost me dearly … my little retirement package, my bosses’ prize … All I want today … is you.”
“So let her go!” Sarah hissed, looking up at the major. “If you want me, take me, but she’s done nothing.”
“Au contraire,” Smiled the major, “You think I just want to kill you? You’re going to suffer, my boy … You’ll have ringside seats for your sister’s rape, torture and death. Then … I might kill you … after some playtime.” He smirked, running a finger across Sarah’s cheek. “After all, you do want to be a woman don’t you? My dear little David…”
“Enough chatter.” He sighed, straightening up and turning to two of his men. “Bind these two, and get a car to meet us when the train stops.”
A rifle butt smashed down on Sarah’s head, and darkness enveloped her….
Chapter 24 - Death's Right Hand.
Sarah drifted back into consciousness in a dark room. Her head throbbed, and she tasted the metallic tang of blood in her mouth. Trying to find her remaining 4 senses, she opened her eyes slowly. Looking around, she found that she was in a small room, chained to what had once been a toilet bowl. Moonlight mingled with the sodium glare of a lamp was streaming through a small window above her. It was too high to see out of; her chain barely let her lift her arm more than a foot off the floor. Her head was throbbing from the impact that had rendered her unconscious, and she felt the mild nausea that accompanied a concussion. Apart from the blood, her mouth felt dry and dusty. Her clothes were heaped at the far end of the room, near the doorway, at some point she had been stripped to her bra and panties. There was no sign of Eliana…
Sarah sat quietly, straining to hear any sounds that might give clue to her location. There were the sounds of a street outside, traffic, voices, and noise. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sounds, trying to separate out phrases, words, languages… She heard snippets of Arabic dialogue, the dialect was hard to determine from here, but she presumed that she was now in either the Gaza strip, or the West Bank. Neither place was favourable for an Israeli soldier, alone. What was she here for? The Major’s sick pleasure? No, he had too many men, and it was too well backed up to be a spite attack. They had clearly planned to take her as hostage, to replace the failed action on the yacht. She wasn’t as important she knew, but the sight of a beaten female soldier, would undoubtedly wrench public appeal in favour of whatever demands were made. She wouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip. There was little chance she would leave here alive, and if she did, it would be under her own steam. The Major had no intention of handing her back, at least not in one piece. Sarah leaned her head back against the pealing paint of the wall and waited quietly for her fate.
Sarah lay against the wall, counting drips from a leaking pipe near the ceiling. By her reckoning, several hours had passed since she had regained consciousness; the sky was still dark outside but the tinge of dawn was approaching. Sarah’s mind drifted to her sister, Ari and her friends as she lay against the wall, waiting, listening She missed them all terribly, It seemed strange, she wasn’t afraid like she had expected to be. She felt remarkably calm under the circumstances. The thought of being missed caused a twinge in her heart that she couldn’t shift. Would Ari move on? Could her parents cope? Would her sister make it out alive if they got what they wanted from her? Sarah hoped so. She knew what lay ahead for her. In a way, she felt disappointed that she would die, but resigned to the fact. At least she thought, she would be remembered correctly. What was immortality in memory if she was remembered as the wrong person? She would take what came to her like a woman, she would not fear death, but she would not embrace it. She would not give the major his pleasure.
In the stillness, Sarah was roused by the sound of a door closing somewhere below her and she was instantly aware of footsteps outside the room. There were two distinct sets she could make out, and both came to a stop outside her door. She retreated between the wall and the toilet bowl, trying to restrict the angles she could be kicked or hit from and waited while keys jangled in the lock. The door swung open casually and two men strode into the room with shemagh scarves wrapped around their lower faces, short dark hair covering their scalps. Wordlessly, one man grabbed Sarah by the wrists, while his compatriot unlocked the padlock on the chain. Hauling her to her feet, they led her out of the room and into a dark, bare corridor. The place had a distinct industrial look to it. She was half dragged, half pushed down a set of metal stairs, and into what had at one point, probably been a workshop. Metal chains hung from a pulley on the ceiling, and towards the centre, was what appeared to be a section of telegraph pole, that had been sunk into the floor and concreted in place. There was a D ring at the top, and one at the base, with chain looped through them and she surmised that the colouring of the post and surrounding floor was from its previous occupants.
The men lead her towards the post, and pressing her against it roughly, proceeded to fasten her handcuffs to the upper chain, and her ankles to the one against the floor. The two men silently completed their work and left the workshop. arah closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the cool wood against her back, and tested the leeway in the chains, there was barely an inch either way. The air smelt thick with fear, if such an emotion had a scent…. A mixture of the ferrous tang of blood, ammonia, and sweat clung to the heavy stale air. Sarah shivered involuntarily, partly due to the cold, and partly realising what must have happened in this room. Where ever they were, this was a main facility, it seemed… well used… Not many of the safe houses remained in one location for a period of time, IDF raids saw to that.
After a short while, Sarah heard the bolt of the door slide open, but from her vantage, she could not see the door. She strained to hear any sounds, but other than the door shutting, it was utterly silent. After a few moments, she felt breath on her neck that made her jump involuntarily. A disembodied hand stroked her cheek gently as if to calm her.
“Hush David, do not fear me,” growled Major Thesik so softly it almost held a pretence of comfort. “We are going to get to know each other very well, I’d hate to start off on the wrong foot.” He chuckled, walking around into her view.
Sarah looked at the major, his facial hair had grown in slightly, and he wore a white dress shirt tucked into his jeans. He would have looked at home strolling in a park…
“First, David, I think you need to realise how serious I am.” He purred, fixing his eyes on Sarah. There was a dangerous fire dancing in his eyes, it scared her more than his words.
“I’m not simple enough to believe I can hurt you with pain, although that will come later.” He smirked, “First, you need to suffer.”
[Arabic] “Bring her in.” he shouted towards the door.
After a moment, the two men who had led her down from her cell dragged a struggling Eliana into the room.
“You leave her out of this you bastard,” Sarah hissed through gritted teeth, trying not to show that her heart was racing and her stomach churning.
“Why, David? We were just going to get to know each other better.” He smirked lazily, giving a wave of his hand towards the two guards.
The two men dragged the sobbing girl to a table, and lashed her hands to the top. Eli raised her head weakly. She just looked at Sarah as she sobbed, terrified.
The major moved round Eliana and yanked her jeans down, soon followed by her panties.
“LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BASTARD!!” screamed Sarah, so hard her throat burned.
Eli looked shocked momentarily, before banging her head against the table and shaking her chained arms against the surface. The major grabbed her flailing legs and chained them to the floor before unzipping his jeans and extracting his rapidly hardening penis. Turning back to Eliana, he placed his hands on her hips and moved forwards, all the time staring into Sarah’s eyes.
Sarah couldn’t speak she was so enraged. She pulled at her chains so hard they cut into her wrists and ankles and trickles of blood ran down her arms. Eliana looked mortified, and was screaming and writhing, which only seemed to please the major more as he thrust in and out of her vagina.
“Sarah.” Eli sobbed, tears streaking down her cheeks, “Sarah he’s raping me,” she moaned through her sobs. “It hurts.”
“It will be over soon, baby, I’m so sorry. This is my fault, I’m so so sorry.” She sobbed as she watched her sister’s brutal rape play out in front of her. Sarah hung her head and sobbed tears of frustration and anguish. She couldn’t watch her sisters pleading eyes anymore. Balling her fists in the chains, she raised her head slowly and stared at the Major through her matted hair, and breathing deeply she uttered five words. Anyone in the room could tell that she meant them, every single word….,
“I’m going to kill you,” she hissed, as she pulled again at the restraints, more blood running down her arms and feet.
“Hah. Well I don’t believe you will live to get a chance, my dear boy.” The major grunted as he shuddered and climaxed into the now limp Eliana. “I will grant you your wish to become a woman before you die, though.” He chuckled as he zipped his jeans up. As he walked forwards, Eliana surged against her restraints and the major landed a punch square to the girl’s temple. She was knocked out, her body flopping at the impact.
“Maybe I will cut out your sister’s cunt, so you can feel what it's like to have a pussy between your legs…” he sneered.
He walked over to a metal table beside the post, selected a knife blade and ran it flat against his finger.
“Now down to business I think.”
He walked around Sarah once, keeping eye contact with her before stopping in front of her and cradling the arm holding the knife in his other palm, and made a mock thoughtful expression, wiggling the knife in his fingers.
"Where to begin… that is the question. I can’t go cutting your pathetic dick off just yet, I don’t want you to bleed out just yet.”
Raising the knife blade to her right arm, he ran the blade down the soft underside of her forearm, not cutting deeply, but just enough to cause her to grimace as the blood began to drip onto the already stained floor. Smirking, the major repeated the process on her other arm, before stabbing the blade through her restrained arm. Sarah grunted with pain, but refused to scream as agony racked her body. She would not give the bastard the pleasure.
Stopping, Major Thesik regarded the girl for a moment, “Perhaps you need to be taught how women feel before I grant you your desire, you may yet want to embrace your shred of masculinity….”
“This is why I am more man than you David.” He smirked darkly, as he unzipped his pants once more, and pulled out his penis. It was covered in drying blood Sarah could see, that only enraged her more. Placing the knife on the table, he unbuckled Sarah’s feet from the D ring, and tuned her around against the post. His foot on her ankle chain, he slipped down her panties, and slapped her backside with enough force to make Sarah wince.
Ramming a finger into Sarah’s bottom, he roughly twisted it around. And pushed himself close against Sarah’s back. “Is this what you want, you faggot? To be treated like a bitch?” he hissed into her ear.
“I wasn’t going to use any lubricant, but your sister’s blood seems to still be wet on my cock, so thank me for small mercies ….”
Ripping his finger out forcefully, he lined up his penis and began to push. Sarah grimaced as he invaded her body. She felt hot tears cascading down her cheeks as her bottom burned with the invasion. The major grunted and started to thrust away, each time feeling like sandpaper against her delicate parts. He ripped it out and shoved it back in roughly.
“You fucking like being a woman now you faggot?” he screamed. “My cock in your ass is the last thing you will remember.” He growled as he dragged the blade from Sarah’s arm and held it against her throat.
“You’ll die being fucked, you tranny faggot. You’ll never die a woman, I’ll leave that one bit for them to identify you by.” He laughed and began to press the blade home when an explosion rocked the building.
Taking advantage of his momentary lapse of concentration, Sarah ripped her feet forwards, yanking the chain out from under his foot and kicked up backwards as hard as she could. She felt her feet connect between his legs. The major staggered back, and slipped from her abused bottom, howling in agony. Sarah pulled her feet up the post till they were almost at the upper D ring, and pushed with all her strength. The blood ran from her wounds, but she pushed, the metal began to loosen in the rotten wood, and with a crack, the ring sprang free of the post, sending her sprawling across the floor of the chamber.
Dragging herself to her feet, Sarah dropped into a fighting stance as the major staggered blindly towards her, still very much in pain from her emasculating blow.
“I said I was going to kill you, pig,” she hissed. Flipping the chain around her wrists around the Major’s head and bringing it slamming into her raised knee. The man stumbled but stayed upright, blood gushing from his nose.
“Fucking cunt!” he screamed, and lunged forwards, catching Sarah on the cheek with a glancing blow that would have floored her with full contact.
Dazed, she spun around and kicked the Major’s legs out from under him. As he sprawled on the floor, she grabbed the discarded knife from the floor, and slammed it home through his back, deliberately avoiding his heart. The Major screamed, and tried to push himself to his hands and knees, the blade embedded between his ribs.
Sobbing from exertion, Sarah looped her wrist chain around his jaw, yanking it till it slipped between the major’s teeth as if it were a bit for a horse.
“I said I was going to kill you, asshole! This is for Eli,” she screamed at him. “Get up from this, asshole!” she hissed before yanking the chain back with massive force.
The sound of the major’s neck snapping reverberated around the small room.
Sarah collapsed to the floor. Utterly spent, she fell next to the corpse of Major Thesik. With her remaining strength, she reached out a hand towards her sister, in a vain attempt to reach her. She passed out as soldiers in black breached the chamber door and flooded in.
Dear Readers: I am so sorry this has taken so long. I intended to get this and NCIS - A Time of Innocence posted last week, but i suffered two personal traumas, I won't go into them, its not the place or time. But I apologize for the delay. I didn't mean to take this long. NCIS - A Time of Innocence will be posted tomorrow once I edit it. ~Alyssa
Sayeret had been watching Sarah and her family. They had not thought it sensible to admit to one of their own that she was in danger and would be used as bait. Indeed telling her would have lost the Intelligence corps chance to draw out a presumed dead traitor. It had nearly broken Ari to watch his love’s pain and anguish during her return home, and to not be able to act when they were followed from her home to the station. The brass had taken Ari off the surveillance rotation; he was too close to the case. It had taken all his begging and persuasion to be allowed onto the assault team when they had tracked the girls’ captors to a safe house in the West Bank. The message from up high was to allow them to take her, to wait and watch silently. Ari hated it. Not knowing one moment to the next if his love was alive or dead. Of course, the word that surveillance teams had located her alive in the building using thermal imaging had been of little comfort to Ari; it had felt too detaching, too inhumane. Once they had as many high profile targets on site as possible, including the traitor, they had been given the word to go in.
Ari and team one had swept in from the sewer network beneath the compound, with the other teams had striking from the roof, ground level, and adjoining buildings. The sight that had greeted his eyes when the frame charge disintegrated the steel doors of the chamber had almost brought Ari to his knees. It had been all he possessed to sweep the room clear before putting several rounds through the Major’s limp body. Sarah’s older sister Eliana Yakobavitch was lying unconscious on a table, bound harshly and half naked. His love… his Sarah, was lying in a pool of blood beside the body of the traitor in only her underwear, her ankles and arms a mess of blood, her hair matted with sweat and bodily fluids. Nobody had said a word as he fell to his knees beside his love, cradling her limp body in his arms and sobbed.
Once the building had been declared safe. Medical teams had swarmed in to attend to wounded. The hostages and prisoners were removed, and the building sanitised. To the world at large, it had been a raid to arrest Palestinian militants, nothing more, and no undue attention drawn to it. As the Israeli Intelligence community celebrated, little thought was given to their own soldier, lying comatose in a Tel Aviv hospital bed, or her sister, traumatised for life. No, They were ‘expendable collateral damage’ they agreed over toasts of success. The end justified the means of course…
Ari Weisman Rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he sat at Sarah’s bedside. He had not shaved in a week, and it was starting to annoy him, but little distracted him from being by her side. Shifting in the uncomfortable plastic seat by her bed, he stood to allow the blood to return to his aching behind. Ari walked over to the window and gazed out over the Tel Aviv Skyline, highlighted by the rusty sunset. Sarah had been in the Sourasky medical centre in downtown Tel Aviv for nearly a week. She wasn’t comatose in the literal sense, but in a medically induced sleep to allow her body to heal. Over the past few weeks, her body had been put through too great a stress, the ordeal had been the tip of the iceberg. She had suffered severe blood loss, internal and external. The girl was near death's door when she had been recovered. Medical crews had been barely able to stabilise her. Multiple scans showed no brain damage, which was in itself, a relief. But Ari wondered what state her mind would be in if…. No, when she woke. Could she cope? She had been through so much… His heart skipped a beat every time he thought of her pain; it almost hurt him as much to think about what she had been through.
Checking his watch, Ari walked slowly over to Sarah’s side, and lent forwards and kissed the girl on the forehead before walking towards the door. He stopped, and looked back one more time before slipping out into the bustle of the corridor.
Ari leant against the wall by the main door of the Ichilov General Hospital building and lit the cigarette he had been dying to have all day. Taking a drag, he luxuriated in the nicotine rush. He rubbed his tired eyes and watched the human traffic moving around the grounds. He almost felt a fixture in the hospital after the time he had spent there; it was certainly the longest he’d ever spent in such a place. The nursing staff on Sarah’s floor all knew his name, but they just thought he was Sarah’s boyfriend. That had caused one or two raised eyebrows when her physical sex had been discovered. Their line of work was not disclosed beyond the fact that they were both soldiers, something Ari had not been able to hide as his rifle accompanied him. There had been one or two comments, but he refused to even acknowledge them. As far as he was concerned, she was his girl, and that was that…. If they didn’t like her past, that was their personal problem, thankfully, it had not detracted from her treatment.
Ari absentmindedly watched the comings and goings of the hospital as he smoked.
“Hey Weismann.” Grunted Sgt Goni as he appeared out of the darkness outside the flood lit entrance. “I hoped to catch you.”
“What are you doing here?” Ari replied, jumping; he had been off guard too long…
“I came to check on you and the kid upstairs.” He replied quietly with a nod towards the hospital building.
“She’s still out.” sighed Ari, taking another drag on his cigarette. “Doctors say it could be a while yet.”
“What about you?” The older man asked, “And don’t lie to me Weismann.”
Ari looked at the grizzled sergeant for a moment before chuckling. “I’m dead on my feet sir.”
“Thought so.” grunted Sergeant Goni. “You really love her don’t you?”
“Yeah.” Ari sighed to nobody in particular.
“I spent a week like this when my wife Sharon was in the Maternity Hospital over the way with Rebekah and Peter. There were complications… I didn’t want to leave her alone even though she was out for most of it.” Goni grinned sheepishly.” So believe me Kid, I know how you feel. You don’t want to go home for that few hours sleep in case it’s the one time she wakes up and you aren’t there for her…. Believe me, I know.” He smiled, patting Ari on the shoulder.
“I don’t know sir.” Ari grimaced. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt, Its like the whole thing before… It was nothing, now… I just don’t exist… I feel empty..” he muttered softly, staring at the ground between them. “I don’t want to admit it, but I don’t know what to do.” He whispered.
“Ah that’s love for you.” grinned the Sergeant. “We spend all our lives looking for the one that makes us whole… and when we find them, we realise how truly empty we are without them. Soon as you fall in love they take it all.” He chuckled.
Ari smiled. The grizzled old guy always seemed to find a way of putting things that made sense. Sarah completed him, he knew that. They were two halves of a whole; equally lost without the other.
“So how are you Ari?” Goni pushed, seeing a crack in Ari’s depressive shield. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” chuckled Ari stubbing out the cigarette. “You look pretty awesome yourself granddad.”
“You want to be on a double response rotation?” smirked the sergeant. “You look worn out, you handling this?”
“Yeah, I guess...” Ari shrugged. “I feel perpetually tired, and I hardly ever smile. But being by her side through this makes me happy… It makes me hope that she knows I'm here for her, and that makes it all worth it.”
Goni nodded understandingly. “That it does.”
“What next?” Ari asked, changing the subject. “Is this actually over?”
“Is it ever?” Goni shrugged. “The spooks seem happy with things, from their lofty analysis rooms it appears so, but you know the family ties and revenge bullshit that lot play…”
Ari nodded. As much as he wanted it to be, It was unlikely to be a cut and dried event. They had seriously wounded several factions’ leaderships… Places would be filled, and revenge sought. That was the way of the world here.
The two talked quietly for a while before Ari bade farewell to the Sergeant and made his way back inside. He hadn’t been the first visitor from their team, but one of the last he expected to see coming to ask about Sarah. Returning to the hospital room that had become his world over the last week, Ari slipped into a fitful sleep beside his love’s bed, lulled to sleep by the soft bleeping of her heart monitor.
Sarah regained consciousness sometime in the early morning. She had been dreaming about things… horrible things… Her sister, her own torture, the laughing face of her tormentor; the unnerving quiet and darkness was reassuring to her tired mind.
It took her a moment to realise that she had actually woken up. A soft bleeping, intermingled with the sounds of a hospital filtered into her ears slowly, like syrup. She was alive…. Where, she didn’t know, but she presumed safe. Her body ached terribly. As sensation began to return to her body, she felt heavy and sore. Her mind was groggy now she was waking, not tired… but something else.
Sedation? Maybe.
How long had she been asleep?
She wasn’t sure that she cared. The pain was still present, but softened. She tried to lift her arm from the bed, but its numb uncontrollable roll only succeeded in pulling a canula from her arm.
“Shit.” She muttered groggily. She was aware of the bleeping increasing, and the sound of footsteps entering the room. The darkness was gone and it was terribly bright suddenly. There were people, doctors? Nurses? She felt a strange scraping as the canula was reinserted, and a faint recollection of pressure round her fingers and voices talking to her.
“Sarah can you hear us?” She felt the squeezing again in her hand and words started to clear.
“Take her off the sedative,” someone said.
Sedative… that made sense.
The voices carried on unintelligibly for a while before trailing off and the room was quiet once again that. Sarah remembered slipping back into blackness once again before reawakening what seemed like seconds later. It was beginning to get light in the room, not the harsh instant brightness of the lights she had barely made out before, but a faint tinge to the blackness. There was more detail now… Sarah could feel more; the pain, though dull felt more localised and identifiable. Her hearing and vision was more focused.
She flexed her fingertips before realising they were encased in a human hand.
At her movement, the owner stirred from his position beside the bed.
“Hey.” Ari smiled sleepily.
“Hey.” Sarah croaked dryly. “Where am I?” She managed to whisper before coughing.
“You’re in hospital Sarah, You’re safe now.” Ari soothed as he pressed the call button above her bed.
“That’s nice.” Sarah muttered absent mindedly as she slipped back to sleep again.
Ari stayed with Sarah as much as he could. He was periodically ushered out by the nursing staff and doctors since she woke, and she was mostly asleep when he was allowed back in. It took a stern but caring order from one of the senior nurses to make him go home. Reluctantly he had left Sarah in their hands for a few hours.
Ari rolled over on his bed and tried to focus on the alarm clock. It was 3am, a day later. He had fallen asleep as soon as he had hit his bed without even chance to undress.
Ari slumped down onto his back and ran his hands through his hair as he lay waking up, drowsy from such a prolonged period of rest. His hair felt disgusting and he smelt aweful. Had he allowed himself to get this bad? Stumbling into the bathroom, he stripped naked and collapsed into the shower. The warm jets beat down on his tired body and began to wake him. After washing and shaving, Ari felt like a whole new man compared to the zombie of previous days. He was glad Sarah had been so out of it when she had come round. Sarah….
Ari hurried to pull on a pair of old jeans and a grey tee-shirt before grabbing his keys and flying out of the apartment door. Ari jogged down the stairwell and out of the apartment block, it was still dark out… He realised how foolish it was turning up to the hospital at 4am… Sarah wouldn’t even be awake… Reluctantly, he slowly made his way back up to his apartment and forced himself to wait till it was at least morning.
Ari pulled up at the parking lot At the Sourasky medical centre and began the long walk across the grounds to the Ichilov General Hospital where Sarah was being looked after.
“Well don’t you look more human?” smiled the chief staff nurse as Ari stepped out of the lift on the 14th floor.
“Well I figured she didn’t need another shock after waking up.” He smiled sheepishly. “Is she awake?” he asked hopefully.
The nurse chuckled and nodded her head. “Yes, a few hours ago, she’s lucid and asking for you.”
Ari grinned and jogged off down the corridor towards Sarah’s room. The staff nurse smiled and shook her head before muttering something about young love and returning to her rounds.
From the author lady:
Hey guys, sorry I'm taking forever, College gets on top of you... you know how it is... (OK thats an excuse, I was mostly hungover and having mad sex with a series of hunky... don't believe that either? Well stick to lots of work... its more believable, even for me...
I hope you like this, its a tangent from usual i think. I'll endeavor to turn down some dates and write more sooner!
Love Alyssa