Mum's Encouragement Chapter One
My First Job
By Lucy J

After leaving school with poor exam results and having had no work for three months my mum nagged me to actively look for work. I replied to a few job vacancies but with no success until I saw an advert in a local paper for someone to be trained to be a receptionist at a hotel approximately 10 minutes walk from where we lived.

I applied and following an interview I was excited to be offered the position which although it didn't pay very well, seemed interesting.

I started a few weeks before my 17th birthday in late August. I was really nervous on my first day and over the next week I was introduced to the other reception staff which consisted of 7 women who worked day shift patterns and a reception manageress who I found out later was leaving in early October to work in another hotel in the north of England.

I was accepted by the women, I suppose like a little brother and they treated me well enough, although I did get all the menial tasks to do as I was the junior. I was to work on reception (not alone), carry out administrative work in the back office, make refreshments, clean the office and generally carry out all the rubbish jobs whilst learning the job of a receptionist.

On my first day the manageress Ms Taylor explained that I would have to tie my shoulder length hair back away from my face. She told me I was to keep it clean and shiny (unlike the dishevelled grunge look I had at the time).

Ms Taylor told me that the following day I was to return to work wearing black trousers, black shoes and a white shirt all issued by the hotel. I was told however that I would have to provide the black shoes.

That evening I told my mum that I had to wear my hair off my face and she suggested that we wash and condition it and then try a few things. She came up with the idea of me wearing it in a low ponytail held with one of her small black plain bands (which I now know to be a scrunchie).

When I glanced in the mirror the next morning before leaving for work, I guess I looked fairly androgenous. My small frame of 5'3" and 8 stone 8 lbs didn't exactly help.

What also didn't help was when I started that morning Ms Taylor gave me a name tag to wear with my name on it however it had been spelt Jo rather than Joe.

I worked at the hotel very happily for the next few weeks however I was embarrassed sometimes to be called miss or young lady (probably because of my longish hair and misspelt name badge). Funnily enough it didn't bother me much and I actually thought it quite funny. The girls I worked with thought it was hilarious and sometimes as a joke called me Joanne (groan).

All was going well until early October when Ms Taylor departed for her new job and the new manageress Mrs Benson started. Mrs Benson was about 55 and very prim and proper.

The first time we all met her she advised us all that everyone was to call her Mrs Benson. We were all collectively introduced to her and then we all had a one to one meeting with her later that day.

I didn't really hit it off with her on the first day. She told me that she thought that a receptionist job was no career for a male. She told me that when she first saw me she thought I was a girl and was puzzled as to why I wasn't wearing the proper uniform. She upset me further by telling me that she thought I was quite effeminate. I didn't mind the odd crack, but was quite upset at this statement.

Mrs Benson told me that she expected everyone to be professional in their jobs and that she expected perfect grooming from everyone including me. She told me that she thought we were all very unkempt and that we didn't create a good first impression to guests.

A week went by and in that time Mrs Benson seemed to criticise me whenever she had the opportunity to do so for whatever little things I did wrong. She had me do menial tasks including on one occassion making me go to the local chemists to buy her some tights.

She advised all of the receptionists including me that she was to going to ensure that we were more presentable and polished and that we would all be wearing the new uniform. True to her word we had our new uniforms within a week.

The girls were given the uniform of knee length navy pencil skirts, a matching navy jacket that I found out later didn't do up and cream long sleeved blouses which had red pussy bow ties at the neck. The girls were told that they would be required to wear navy hosiery and navy court shoes with the uniform which they would need to supply themselves . The girls hated the new uniform although no one complained directly to Mrs Benson as no one wanted to question her authority.

The girls were told that their hair was to be kept off their faces and necks. If their hair was long then they were ordered to pin it up in a chignon or bun (no ponytails were to be allowed). Make-up was to be worn at all times whilst on duty and nails were to be manicured and polished with a light pink colour.

My uniform was slightly different in that I was supplied with navy trousers (it was obvious that she had ordered womens trousers as they zipped up the back). I was also expected to wear the blouses but without the bows. I hated the blouses. They were crepe de chine and had full sleeves that buttoned at the wrist with 3 pearl buttons on each wrist. They had shoulder pads and two pleats on the bodice. Thankfully they were fairly plain apart from the small pearl buttons on the cuffs of the sleeves and down the front.

I was told I had to wear the issued jacket which was obviously a women's jacket. When I protested about the clothes Mrs Benson wanted me to wear, she told me in no uncertain terms that I was being silly and no one would notice that they weren't men's clothes - no such luck!

She informed me that I would also need to abide with a number of the elements rules regarding grooming rules and instructed me to wear my hair in a back bun and to make sure my nails were manicured however thankfully she didn't mention me polishing them.

The next day after a teary eyed night and arguments with my mum over what I had to wear, I walked to work in my new uniform. I could feel the soft thin blouse against my skin and the tailored trousers against my legs. I felt ridiculous wearing my hair in a bun with small hair clips holding my hair rigidly in place. When I looked at my nails I saw neat cuticles where my mum had manicured them the night before.

Mum had convinced me that I had to wear the uniform and said that if I didn't I might be in trouble for being in breach of contract and could possibly face being dismissed. Mum said I shouldn't push Mrs Benson's patience and she made it quite clear to me that I was to do everything I needed to do to keep my job. She told me that she didn't want me lazing about at home and said "anyway wearing a woman's shirt wasn't such a big sacrifice to keep your manageress happy"

That morning the three of us who were on the early shift were inspected by Mrs Benson and although she was pleased with the girls attempts she felt I was the odd one out as I stood out from the girls in appearance, which she disapproved off.

Due to my androgenous uniform that day I was addressed as miss, maam, young lady etc, anything but what I was - a young man. I hated it however I wasn't about to embarass myself or the guest by correcting the guests and therefore kept quiet as did the girls on my shift who thought it was great fun to call me Joanne in front of the guests.

After about a week I guess I accepted the new uniform, however Mrs Benson did request one more change to my uniform and said I was to wear a vest or camisole under the blouse as she said the blouse was thin and showed to much of my skin when I didn't wear the jacket (which was only in the back office anyway and never on the desk). when i told my mum of the new uniform rule she went out and bought me some plain polyester camisoles (or vests as she called them!). I wore one the next day under my blouse and whilst busy typing in the back office one of the girls Nicola pinged one of my thin camisole straps through the blouse - how embarrassing!

Life and work continued and more and more I was being addressed as a young lady. When I think back now I believe I was probably becoming more effeminate in my manner which didn't help guests in their assumptions of my gender. This was probably due to me working with a women all day.

One morning whilst at work, a couple of the girls and Mrs Benson were discussing what they were going to do for an annual national charity day and came up with various dares for each other. They then turned to me and advised me that my dare was to find out what it was like to wear a skirt and heels all day and that if I was to agree to the dare we would raise a lot of money for the children's charity.

After much protesting I finally gave in and agreed that I would wear the full uniform of a female receptionist the following week.

Two days before the dreaded day of the dare and as I was leaving work Mrs Benson gave me the uniform that I was to wear. She told me that the girls had chipped in with underwear and other accessories and informed me that when I returned to work for my next shift that I was to portray the perfect example of a young female receptionist.

As I walked home that day with two carrier bags of clothes and other bits and bobs I questioned why I had given into Mrs Benson and the girls and dreaded what was ahead of me.

The next day I had a day off work and my mum who had excitedely entered into the spirit of the dare woke me early and told me that she had planned a day of pampering for me.

I will never forget that day. That morning my mum waxed my legs and underarms, plucked my eyebrows or as my mum put it "just tidied them a little", painted my toe nails with a plum coloured nail varnish.

After mums best efforts to turn me into her daughter we both headed off to a ladies hairdressers which was thankfully ten miles or so away from where we lived. I was really worried that we would bump into someone I knew.

Mum had spoken to the hairdresser Jean, a few days before on the phone and advised her that I was feming up for a charity dare. Jean greeted us and said she thought it was great what I was doing for charity and asked whether she could she have free reign to try a few things and eventually after a lot of convincing I stupidly said yes.

When I left the salon that day, my mousy brown hair had been highlighted with light blonde streaks and had been permed and I now sporting a curly mop of hair. When looking in the mirror I thought I looked more like a woman of 25 rather than the 18 year old boy that I was.

Despite my protests Mum had given Jean permission to pierce my ears twice in each ear. A small gold stud and a small purple shiny stone now adorned my painful earlobes.

Jean had further plucked my eyebrows also saying she was "just tidying them up". Jean also gave me a facial which I must admit felt really good.

As mum drove home I slumped down in the passenger seat and thought how weird I now felt and had felt sitting in a ladies hairdressers under a hairdryer with my hair in tight curlers and the setting lotion working its magic.

After a fairly sleepness night I walked to work in the uniform I was told to wear. My mum had awoken me an hour earlier than my usual time and helped me dress as she jokingly put it "her daughter the hotel receptionist"

Mum handed me some really feminine cream satin lacy knickers which I put on in the bathroom. When exiting the bathroom she helped me put on a matching cream underwired satin lace trimmed bra which she padded out with water filled baloons to give me breasts. She then helped me into a cream satin full slip that had lace at the bodice and at the hem.

She adjusted the straps of the bra and slip before showing me how to put on some sheer navy 10 denier tights. I have to admit that I did likethe feel of the tights against my waxed legs. Mum then had me put on pair of patent navy 2.5" high court shoes and as I stood up on the heels I wobbled and nearly fell. Under mums guidance I pretty soon got used to the weird way the shoes made me stand and walk.

Mum slid the navy knee length pencil skirt up to my waist and buttoned it up. I soon found out that despite a small kick pleat in the back of the skirt my movement that day would be quite restricted as the heels and tight skirt would limit me to small steps.
I then put on the uniform blouse that I had become accustomed too however this time mum tied the red floppy bow around my neck.

After tucking the blouse in the skirt and exclaiming how pretty I looked, mum tightened a navy belt around my skirts waist and helped me on with the uniform jacket. It was then that I noticed that my name badge now read "Joanne Moore, Junior Receptionist"

As I gingerly walked to work that early November morning and despite wearing a heavy knee length winter wool coat, I could feel the fierce winter wind blowing up my tight skirt. I could feel the bra and slip straps on my shoulders and felt totally unaccustomed to having breasts which darted my coat out.

Before I left for work I noticed that when I looked in the full length wall mirror that I could see the outline of the lace of my bra and slip through the blouse. I could make out the outline of the bra and slip straps on my shoulders and the bra outline through the back of my blouse when I looked over my shoulder in the mirror.

My heavily laquered curled hair was piled high on my head and was held with hair pins and butterfly clips. Mum had arranged two small strands of hair to fall down each of my cheeks. My face had been made up that morning at by Julie, a friend from work. Julie also worked on reception and knew what Mrs Benson would expect in the way of grooming. Julie gave me the works - concealer, powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blusher, lipstick/lipgloss and then she finally doused me in her perfume pronouncing me done. I couldn't agree more - I was done for.

Mum was quite emotional as she waved me and Julie off to work. I shivered with nerves as well as the cold as Julie tried to reassure me everything would be ok.

As we walked to work both mine and Julie's heels clicking on the pavement, I felt really nervous to the point where I thought I was going to be sick.

When she set eyes on me Mrs Benson made one comment "oh thats so much better Joanne, this is how I expect my girls to look". I smiled but inside I felt like awful"

Mrs Benson gushed over my appearnace telling me that she loved the smell of my perfume scent. She then told me to get to work finishing off the guest’s bills and said that when I had completed that task that I was to assist on reception where Julie and another receptionist Heather were coping with the morning rush.

As Mrs Benson walked off she made the comment “you know Joanne it would be such a waste for you to return to your sloppy ways, I will have to see what I can do!”

I turned to the PC puzzled by her comments and sat down remembering to smooth my skirt under me as my mother and Julie has shown me earlier in the day. The lacy hem of my slip peeked out from my skirt that had risen above my hosed kneess and no matter how I pulled my skirt down the hem of the slip seemed to work its way into view. After a few minutes fidgetting I gave up trying to hide the hem of the slip it and thought to myself why am I worrying, no one will see it.

As I sat working away I felt very draughty under the vents of the A/C unit and noticed that the draught was slightly blowing the bow on my blouse and a big chill swept through me. I thought to myself “how am I going to get through today, I’m cold and my feet are already killing me in these blasted heels."

Chapter 2

As I typed away I was recalled the events of the day so far.

How I felt when I walked in the staff entrance to the hotel and clocked in.

How my hands were clammy and shaking.

How my heels I was wearing echoed on the concrete floor as I walked up the corridor to the reception back office.

How Julie had taken my hand and squeezed it to reassure me that everything would be fine. However my stomach told me otherwise!

How Mrs Benson had told me to “ hang up your handbag and coat in your locker dear. Lets get you to work my girl”

As I continued preparing the guests bills and doing general admin duties and as I typed away on the keyboard I couldn’t escape from my manicured pink varnished nails that shouted "girl" to me.

Likewise the restraints of the clothes I wore did not allow me to forget how I was dressed. How did women bare these clothes everyday. My legs were still frozen as the thin tights did little to keep them warm from the cold wind when I had walked to work. The bra I wore was already cutting into my shoulders and the weight of the bra made me droop a little. The hem of the slip and skirt tickled my hosed knees and the bow of the blouse around my neck slightly restricted my view of the keyboard when I looked down.

I felt mixed emotions, both terribly nervous of the day to come but also somehow excited in a way.

After about 30 minutes of working Mrs Benson came over to ask how I was doing and asked me to stand up so that she could inspect her “new girl” as she put it. I stood up and smoothed down my skirt as Julie had shown me. Mrs Benson thought that small girly gesture was so cute.

I felt under great scrutiny as Mrs Benson asked me to twirl. As I did so on my heels I nearly fell and Mrs Benson had to grab my arm.

“Steady you silly girl” she laughed. “Please take off your jacket Joanne” she asked and I did as requested.

Its funny but when I took the jacket off, I felt even more girlie with the thin blouse only slightly hiding the bra and camisole of the slip I was wearing underneath.

“I love the lace on your slip Joanne” Mrs Benson commented.

I squirmed and replied “Thank you Mrs Benson”.

Mrs Benson told me that she loved the way I had done my hair. I tried to explain that Jean and mum had done it however she wasn't listening as she rattled on that my hair was now looking so much better than the bun I usually wore. She joked that the bun made me look like an old spinster.

She inspected my hair pins and clips to see how my hair was held up and told me that I would need to ensure that during the day no stray hairs fell out as she advised that I like all of the other girls was to be immaculate whilst on reception.

“On reception?” I exclaimed “but I thought I was going to stay in the office all day”.

Mrs Benson laughed and said that as I had gone to so much effort to look pretty that I should take my go on reception, however before doing so she explained a few things that I should ensure I complied with whilst dressed as Joanne, her pretty new receptionist. They were

1. Ensure that the strands of hair either side of my face never fall into my eyes and that the rest of my hair be properly held up. She exclaimed that I was to check my hair after each toilet break and use hairspray if required.

2. Ensure that my make up was perfect and that my lip gloss be replaced after eating or drinking anything throughout the day

3. That the bow on my blouse be tied perfectly and that all of the buttons on my blouse be done up and the blouse be perfectly tucked in my skirt at all times

4. That I take care not to snag my hose

5. That I didn’t allow the hem of my slip to be seen under my skirt

6. And finally and above everything else she told me that I was to ensure that I didn’t give any of the guests the impression that I was anything other than Joanne the Junior Receptionist.

Chapter 3

On finishing the admin work I put my jacket back on and pulled the collar of my blouse over the navy collar of the jacket as my mum had shown me earlier that day.

Before leaving the back office I checked myself in the full length mirror where Mrs Benson’s motto hung “Guests first impressions count”. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and fussed with imaginary wrinkles in my jacket and skirt.

“Oh well here goes” I thought as I joined Heather and Julie behind reception.

“Hi Joanne, could you see to the next guest please” Heather asked without even blinking an eyelid whilst appraising me up and down. She gave me a big smile and thoughtfully squeezed my hand as I approached the desk

I swallowed hard and approached a middle aged businessman looking to check out. I felt sick to my stomach as I turned to him.

He gave me a big smile and I could feel myself blush. I dealt with him and many more customers without the world ending that morning and gradually my confidence grew.

An elderly man who was a regular business customer arrived around midday and Heather asked me to escort him to his suite.
Guests who had booked suites were always shown to their rooms.

Whilst in the lift I could feel him looking me up and down as we made small talk about his journey. I felt very vulnerable and somewhat scared to be alone with this guy. We chatted more and he said

“I bet a pretty girl like you has plenty of boyfriends”

I could feel myself blush and with doe eyes I looked down at the floor and honestly replied

“ not at the moment”.

I felt so relieved to leave him and return to reception and the security of the desk. Julie grabbed me by the arm when I got back and said

“Come on lunch time Joe”

We walked towards the staff canteen, but made a small detour to the ladies staff toilet

“I can’t go in there” I gasped as I realised I hadn’t been to the toilet since leaving home that day

“where do you want to go Joe, in the men’s” Julie replied

“But Julie!” I protested as Julie interlinked my arm and dragged me in to the ladies.

Thankfully we were the only ones in there as Julie instructed me to

“Use the cubicle Joe love” Suddenly I felt a need to have a pee.

I locked the cubicle door behind me and Julie did likewise in the adjoining cubicle

“How’s your first day been so far Joanne” she tittered.

I didn’t answer and went about my business. The horror of what I had to go through to simply pass water. My skirt and slip bunched up about my waist, my knickers and tights about my knees. I could see Julie’s shoes under the partition of the cubicle and thought if I can see her shoes she can also see mine, so I had better not let my tights and knickers drop any further.

Upon finishing my oblutions I pulled my knickers and tights back up and smoothed down the skirt and blouse, then grabbed under my skirt and as my mum had showed me pulled down the tails of my blouse through the waistband of the skirt. Putting my jacket back on, I joined Julie in front of the mirror

“Come on your make up needs touching up” Julie exclaimed.

For the next 5 minutes she redid my lipgloss, adjusted a few pins fussing with my hair before spraying it with loads of hairspray. As a finishing touch she applied more mascara to my already long lashes and as she did so she said "my eyelashes were one of my best features and my shapely legs were the other".

I looked down at my thin legs in the sheer navy hose and smiled

“perhaps you’re right” Julie thought this was funny and playfully slapped my skirted bum.

I reddened up for probably the tenth time that day as she laughed

“You know youmake a lovely girl Joe, you really fit the uniform and have fitted in fantastically well this morning”

I didn’t know what to say other than “thanks I guess”

We walked into the staff canteen and I can recall being gawked at by most of the men in there. One of them a tall immaculate man approached and I could see that it was the restaurant manager Mr Lawson.

“Hello ladies, whose your friend Julie?” he asked whilst examining me

“This is Joanne, Mr Lawson” Julie replied “You have met her before”

Mr Lawson looked closely and after a few seconds the penny dropped “ have I - Joe is that you?”

“Afraid so Mr Lawson” I replied.

For the few 5 minutes, Julie and I explained how I came to be in my predicament.

“Absolutely splendid show you look great. I would never have guessed if you hadn't been with Julie. You two are like shadows, always together” he exclaimed “ you should come and work for me in the restaurant Joanne”

“I don’t think so Mr Lawson, this is a one time thing for charity" I explained whilst squirming.

“Come on Joe be a sport. Work for me tomorrow afternoon, I am short for a wedding breakfast and you know the ropes”

I couldn’t argue with that as I had often helped out as a waiter when Mr Lawson was short of staff and the additional money certainly helped.

“I don’t think so Mr Lawson”

“Why not are you already working” he asked

“No I’m not working, I am going to get my hair cut”

“No Joanne I insist that you and Julie help out tomorrow, I will pay you both double pay”

Mr Lawson was insistent and never gave up and with Julie wanting to earn double pay she started on me as well. After a minute or so I was worn down and begrudgingly was forced into saying yes

“Splendid its Julie and Joanne I want though, I have enough waiters”

No I thought this is getting worse, I can’t do it. Before I could speak Julie told Mr Lawson that we would help out and that Joanne would turn up.

“What did you do that for” You know this is only for today!” I challenged Julie

“Joe he is willing to pay us double time, come on do it for me, I have helped you out today” she pleaded

Julie unless you haven't noticed I’m a boy, I can’t do this”

“Yes you can, I will sort out something for you to wear”

My stomach sunk as I thought of what the waitresses wore. A tight black above the knee pencil skirt, a white long sleeved blouse with big black floppy bow at the neck, fitted black waistcoat, together with black tights and black shoes.

The most hideous part of the uniform however was the white starched lacy apron that tied at the waist and the white lacy hair cap

“Julie, my mum won’t like this, what shall I tell her?” I asked

“Don’t worry about your mother” she replied “ I think she likes having Joanne around”

Chapter 4

When we got back from lunch, Sophie who was now on reception told me that my mum had telephoned and asked her to pass on the message that she would pick me up from work to go out driving.

Mum was teaching me how to drive and every other day we would go out for an hour or so. I thought I was becoming quiet a good and proficient driver.

I was really pleased at this news, as I didn’t fancy walking home alone in the dark in heels and a skirt. Julie was going out with her boyfriend straight from work and therefore I would have had to walk home alone and this filled me with dread.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful and I slowly became accustomed to the clothes I wore, however the heels still did make my feet ache.

Just before my finishing time Mrs Benson came over to me and told me how pleased she was with my work that day

“ You know Joanne you make such a pretty girl and you fit in so well with all of the other girls”

Other girls?

I felt myself go red as I replied “Thank you Mrs Benson, however on Sunday I will be back to wearing my usual uniform if that’s ok with you”

Mrs Benson considered my response before finally telling me “I would like you to reconsider this Joanne, you look smarter on reception as a young lady and I think the guests appreciate you more.

"Oh I have something for you” she exclaimed.

With this she handed me a shopping bag. I must have looked puzzled as she spoke

“ Mr Lawson has advised me that my little Junior Receptionist has agreed to help him out waiting on tables at the wedding reception tomorrow. That is very kind of you Joanne. Mr Lawson has asked me to pass this uniform on to you. I look forward to seeing you in it young lady!”

I felt myself blush “ It’s just to help him out tomorrow as Julie was keen to earn some overtime”

“Of course Joanne, of course” she replied “ See you tomorrow sweetie”

I turned on my heels and as quickly as you can in a tight skirt and heels walked away feeling very awkward and considered my conversation with Mrs Benson.

My mind was all over the place as I pulled my wool coat around me feeling the cold as I waited outside the staff entrance for mum to pick me up

“ Hi Joe” she said as I got in the car “ You should smooth your skirt under you when getting into a car love”.

I looked down at the skirt and saw that it had bunched up around my thighs showing an expanse of lacy slip and the tops of my navy tights.

“Oh sorry mum” I meekly smiled and shivered as I pulled my skirt down and wrapped my mid thigh woolen girls coat around me.

“Anyway you look lovely" She said smiling as she leaned across and kissed me on the cheek.

This was not something she normally did "How was your day sweetheart?”

“Embarrassing mum, I feel so silly in this outfit” I replied whilst playing with the bow of my blouse.

“ You shouldn’t baby, you look so beautiful, your navy suit really brings out the colour of your eyes. Your make up and hair still look great. Have you been touching them up”

“ Julie has helped me all day Mum”

“Oh that's really kind of her. She is a lovely girl" she smiled What’s in the bag Joe” she asked having spotted the bag that I had thrown on the back seat of the car

“ Oh don’t ask mum , its really embarrassing” I replied and started telling her the whole story

“Oh that’s so cute, so I have my little Joanne for another 24 hours” she cooed.

“MUM!”

“don't mum me. I can’t help it you look so lovely in your work uniform Joe. Anyway what harm is there in being Joanne for another day? I will help you darling”

“Thanks mum” I replied as a lump came to my throat

“Anyway lets swap places, you can drive. I have a little treat for you”.

“Mum” I whined “ I can’t drive like this" I gestured to my court shoes

“ Why not Joanne, lots of women drive in heels”

I groaned and to keep the peace we swapped places. Before getting in the car I took off my coat and jacket and put them on the back seat. When getting back into the car I remembered to get in more gracefully and when seated pulled my skirt down do that it nearly reached my knees however it rode up showing of the lacy hem of my cream slip.

Pulling my seatbelt on I felt the belt as it tightened across my blouse and my false breasts were accentuated by the tight belt.

My driving lesson that night went really well. It was obviously the first time I had driven in high heels and a tight skirt. Mum said it was the best I had ever driven in the two months she had been giving me lessons and jokingly said

"perhaps you should wear a skirt and heels when taking your test baby"

As I concentrated and Mum gave directions I wondered where we were heading

“ Mum we are heading quite a way from home, should I turn back now?” I asked.

“No, I have a treat for you Joe” she exclaimed

My stomach churned as I thought where were we off too with me dressed as I was.

After another few minutes of driving we turned up at the shopping mall and it was then that mum told me where we were going “

I have booked you in for a photographic shoot Jo. It will allow me to remember how sweet you look today”

“Mother! I can’t I mean”

“Jo, what’s the problem you look so sweet. Please let your old mum have some photos to remember her Joanne”

After protesting for what seemed like an age I gave up arguing and as instructed parked the car in the multi-storey car park.

As I got out of the car and slipped my jacket and coat back on I thought of how much colder and windier it had got as the wind blew at my skirt and nylon encased legs in the miserable multi storey car park

I cringed at the sound of my heels on the marble floor as we walked through the malls to the photographic studio and how unbelievably relieved I was when we escaped the throng of early Christmas shoppers into the shop.

As we entered we were greeted by a middle aged lady “Evening ladies, Can I help you?”

I looked down at the ground as my mum spoke

“ Yes hi my name is Claire Moore and this is my daughter Joanne. I called you earlier regarding Joanne having some photos taken. It was her first day at work today and we want some photos of her in her new uniform to remember the occasion”

“Oh yes I remember. What a lovely thought” the lady remarked

She turned to me “ What is it you do Joanne?"

“Erm, I’m a junior receptionist at a hotel”

“Oh how wonderful. How was your first day? Were you nervous?”

“Yes very” I honestly replied

“Aww how sweet. I bet you are happy you have now got the first day out of the way" she exclaimed "Anyway shall we get started ladies?”

We stepped through to the rear of the shop where the lady introduced herself as Diane and told us that she would be taking my photos and also preparing me for the shoot.

“Preparing me for the shoot” I questioned

“Oh nothing drastic Joanne. I am just going to touch up your make up and hair to show off your best features. You are already very pretty; you won't need much at all”

She showed me to a stool, which was in front of a large mirror, and I climbed up on to it which was not an easy task with a tight skirt and heels and in doing so my skirt rode up showing my lacy slip for the umpteenth time that day. Diane then proceeded to put a black nylon cape over me, which she tied at the back

“Just something to keep the make up off your pretty uniform babe” she reassured me.

For the next 20 minutes she created an older sultrier look for me and made my eyes up with blues, greys and pinks

“You have such pretty big eyes Joanne your long lashes are amazing. I bet the boys are queuing up for you. Have you got a boyfriend”?

I blushed, thinking that’s the second time someone has asked me that today

“ No she hasn’t Diane” My mum answered for me “She has always been a very shy girl and a bit of a loner. She would like to meet someone, however she hasn’t had the opportunity to do so as yet”.

“Oh that’s such a shame”, Diane replied whilst fussing with my hair and spraying it with hairspray “ I know my son Adam would love to be seen out with such a pretty young lady as you. Perhaps I should introduce you to him. How old are you Joanne, my Adam’s 19?”

Before I could reply my mum again replied for me “ Jo’s just turned 18 Diane. I bet she would love to meet Adam wouldn't you love" she winked at me.

Mum continued, "Joanne is so shy. I can’t ever see her getting a boyfriend, much less a husband. I think it's going to be some before I become a grandma ” my mum joked.

I gave my mum a stare pleading for her to shut up.

Diane was really nice and touched my hand as she said, " plenty of time for men love and you are still so young. Don't go rushing into babies just yet Joanne. Dirty nappies and breast feeding aren't all there cracked up be"

I knew I blushed as mum and Diane continued discussing weddings, childbirth and stretch marks. Ugh!

Diane told me all about her Adam and although he sounded nice, I obviously had no interest in meeting him.

After Diane had finished her prep work we walked through to the studio where she continued fussing with me arranging my skirt, jacket and blouse and had me sit and stand in various poses, some cute, some businesslike and some which she laughingly called sexy.

After an hour or so we were finished and Diane advised mum that the photos would be ready before end of business on the Monday. She advised that normally she would have them ready within 24 hours, however she had a family wedding to go to the next day where she would be the photographer.

“Oh how lovely” Mum remarked asking “ whose wedding is it”?

“It’s my Nieces wedding, she’s getting married at St Olaves church and then she is having her reception at the Cygnet Hotel just down the road from there”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Diane was going to be attending a wedding at the hotel where I worked and where I would be waitressing.

“Oh what a coincidence, Joanne is serving as a waitress at the reception to earn some extra money aren’t you Joanne?”

“Yes mother, although there may be more than one wedding on tomorrow at the hotel” I replied giving her one of my looks can kill stares.

“Oh Joanne that’s wonderful, my Adam is going to at the wedding, I will introduce you to him” Diane excitingly replied.

“Thanks Diane. I think I will be busy working though”.

“Rubbish Jo, you can take a couple of minutes to say hello to Diane and her Adam” mum protested

“Yes hopefully mother, if I can of course I will”, I answered thinking that a boy my age would possibly be looking me up and down with thoughts on his mind that only a 19 year old boy would have. I also thought about how I would be dressed in the ultra feminine waitress uniform. I suddenly felt very nervous.

Mum paid Diane and after hugs we left. My face was still made up with smoky eyes and Mum turned to me and said

“ You know Joanne, I like having you around. Let’s do a spot of shopping"

For the next hour or so we walked in and out of stores and whilst I was still very nervous of being read, I felt a special bond with my mother that I had never felt before. I gradually relaxed knowing that everyone I had met that day had accepted me as Joanne and I actually liked how people treated me.

I drove home under mum’s instruction and when I got home I went straight up to my room and took off all of the clothes I was wearing. What a relief it was to take off the shoes, tights and bra.

I also took off the two gold bracelets, pearl necklace and 2 rings mum had made me wear that morning, leaving only my stud earrings in my ears.

I dressed in some jogging pants and a tee shirt and then went down to see mum whom was preparing a late dinner.

“Mum can you tell me how to get the make up off” I asked

“ Of course baby, let’s go up to the bathroom”

Mum said it was a great shame to take of the make up as I looked so sweet however she showed me how to take it off with remover and cotton wool pads. She then told me to jump in the shower and to wash and condition my hair.

“When you have finished, whilst the dinner is cooking I will do your hair” mum exclaimed

“Do my hair? What do you mean mum?” I asked

“You have had a permanent Joe, if we don’t roll your hair tonight, it will be all frizzy in the morning. Unfortunately you will have to sleep with curlers in”

“Mum, can’t we just do it in the morning?”

No dear there won’t be time. Don’t be a baby, jump in the shower like a good girl” mum joked

“Mum” I grimaced

I did as I was told and washed the day away. When I got out of the shower my pants, jogging pants and tee were missing and had been replaced with a pair of purple satin knickers and a satin knee length short sleeved purple nightie edged in intricate lace. Also hanging up was a matching billowy dressing gown.

“Mum” I shouted

Mum came in as I wrapped myself in a big towel and told me I should stay in character as she said it would be good practice for the following day.

I really was too tired to argue so without much protest put on the nightclothes. Mum then applied moisturiser to my face, arms and legs and told me I that I should be doing this anyway to keep my skin soft. I grimaced at this, but was really too tired to argue.

Once I had the nightie and gown on mum sat me at her vanity mirror and with my hair still damp rolled my hair in what seemed like 50 or so small curlers. They were very tightly clipped to my scalp and then mum tied a hairnet to my head and sat me under her stand up hairdryer and set the dryer timer.

“Sit under here darling until dinners ready. You do want to look your best tomorrow don’t you Joanne when you meet Adam. You are so pretty. I can’t see how he wouldn’t fall for you”

I groaned and let out a rather loud “MOTHER” !

End of chapter 4

After what I guessed to be 30 seconds of feeling sorry for myself and weeping Aunt Heather pulled back the curtain to the dressing room cubicle and asked, “you ok JoJo?”

Trying to hold back my tears my voice trembled as I looked up at Heather as she pulled the curtain across to give us some privacy

“I'm so confused. I don't know why I'm so emotional. I don't hate Martin. At least I don’t think I do. I don't know what I want anymore”
“Do you want to go to the wedding Jo?” Heather asked “you should go hon. You will really enjoy yourself. Wearing that dress, you will look stunning”

Looking up at Heather from the bench seat that I had thrown myself down onto I replied” it’s a bit over the top auntie. I feel a right lemon wearing this. What must Martin think of me? He must think me strange” I protested whilst playing with the hem of the pleated skirt

Aunt Heather crouched down and taking my hands in hers told me “He doesn't think you are weird darling. He wouldn't have hardly asked you to be his date at the wedding if he didn't want to take you babe. He's lucky that you are even considering being his plus one. As for the dress Jo, it really suits you. It’s perfect for a wedding and you look so grown up wearing it. With just a few accessories, Martin won't be able to take his eyes off you”

“I don't want his attention auntie. I'm a boy, he's a boy. It's wrong, he should be taking a girl to the wedding” I objected

A smiling Heather gently brushed my manicured fingers and sought to reassure me” Darling from what I can see he will be taking a girl. A gentle sweet girl who is just unsure of herself. When I was your age kiddo I too had plenty of insecurities and didn't think I was good enough. Nanny and your Mum gave me the confidence to overcome my concerns and start dating boys. After a few nervous dates I became more and more confident. You just need that boost to your confidence darling. Whatever you want to be in life Jo, you can be it honey, you just have to grab it”

I gently sobbed as Heather from her crouching position pulled me into a big embrace. After holding me for what seemed a lifetime Heather broke the hug and lifted my chin up, so I was looking her directly in the eyes

“Jo I will always be here for you darling. Whatever you decide and whatever path you take I will support you. It’s a frightening time for you right now. A lot has happened over the last few days. If you decide to return to being Joseph, then I will support you regardless of what your Mum wants, or thinks is best for you”

Heather’s words calmed me a little and made me feel a little better “thank you auntie I appreciate your support. I think I may need it as Mum seems to think that I should live my life as a girl. She may be right auntie; I just need to get my head around it. Things are moving so fast”

“Come on love let's get you out of that dress and back into your own clothes” Heather suggested as she pulled me up from the bench seat and turning me around undid the small buttons at the back of the dress. As the dress became looser on me I instinctively held the dress up by cupping my small hands around my false breasts to stop the dress from falling to the floor

Aunt Heather giggled at my natural feminine gesture which made me nervously laugh also

For the next 5 minutes Heather helped me back into my tight skirt and blouse, making sure that I looked like the composed young teenager that she said I was

Heather then fussed with my hair and tidied up my eye makeup, so I didn’t look disturbed in the eyes of other shoppers

As we left the dressing room area neither Heather nor I could find mum. After a minute or so, we eventually saw her across the shop chatting away to Bridget as they both held up dresses in the air

As we made our way over to mum, she spotted us and held a pale pink dress up against her. “There you are honey. Bridget and I were wondering where the pair of you had got to. I was just thinking that maybe the pleated dress you tried on is too old-fashioned for you. Bridget has been showing me dresses that she would wear to a wedding and we both picked out this one. Isn't it adorable dear?” mum proclaimed whilst turning the dress and holding it up against my body.

The new dress was of satin fabric and looked to be about knee length. It was quite plain however had a very faint flower pattern embossed in the pale pink satin. A matching satin belt looped around the waist. The dress I was to find out was called a wrap dress

I don't know why but for some reason I preferred this dress to the very busy pleated dress that I had just tried on” It’s nice“ I honestly answered “I think I prefer it to the other dress. This looks more suitable for someone of my or Bridget’s age to wear”

Mum seemed thrilled that I liked the dress and “let's have you quickly try it on then love to see how it fits you Jo”

I looked across at Aunt Heather who playfully smiled back at me, as she and I followed mum back to the changing rooms as I held the strap of my handbag on my shoulder to stop it falling off

Within a few minutes mum had helped me into the new dress. As she tied the belt around my waist, she proclaimed that this was much better and told me it really showed off my beautiful figure. She fussed with the skirt and the wrap around top of the dress

“I think sheer tights and some strappy heels that match the baby pink of the dress will go great with the dress” Mum clucked as I stood there blushing

With mum’s mind seemingly made-up I again got dressed into my regular clothes and on exiting the cubicle found mum, Heather and Bridget at the till just as mum was paying for the second dress

“You have been really helpful Bridget love” I overheard mum say as I walked over to the till. When spotting me Mum said told me “Joanne thank Bridget for her time. She has been really helpful, and we now don't have to worry about what you are going to wear to the wedding. We now just need to get you some shoes that will match the dress and some pretty undies that won’t show through the flimsy material”

I thought “I did have a lot to thank Bridget for as the second dress was more suited to someone my age, however someone of my age who was a girl!”

“Thank you, Bridget. You've been most helpful. I bet you will be glad to see the back of us” I joked

“No need to thank me, Joanne. I'm just doing my job. The dress does look lovely on you. I bet all the other women at the wedding will be envious of you and I think the guys will be wanting a dance with you. It will be a good opportunity to make your boyfriend jealous. If your guy is anything like my boyfriend, he takes me for granted and it does them good to be a little jealous at times”

On paying we said our goodbyes and left the shop back onto the main mall.

“That’s that sorted” mum exclaimed pleased with herself “Let’s go and collect your photo’s and then we can be make tracks home. How are you feeling now honey?”

Before answering Heather asked “actually Sis can we stop for a coffee. I am gasping for a drink and a toilet break”

“Good idea Hettie. I suppose you could also do with a drink Jo, couldn’t you?” mum stated whilst handing me the bag that contained the dress

“Err yes I guess so” I replied anxiously, really wanting to go home

“Come on then girls. My treat” Mum gushed whilst walking off down the mall with Heather and I again in mum’s wake

Heather soon caught up with Mum however I fought to do so what with my now having to carry a large shopping bag, whilst also trying to keep my handbag from slipping off my shoulder. Not an easy task for a young lad still getting used to tight skirts and heels, on a worryingly slippery marble floor. I felt like Bambi on ice!

I felt a bra strap cut into my shoulder as I tottered along the mall, my heels click clacking and echoing around the mall or so I thought so, however none of the shoppers paid me any attention except for a few guys who I passed along the way

On passing one guy, I glanced over my shoulder to see whether he was still looking at me and found to my dismay that he was looking at my bum encased in my tight pencil skirt. I flushed uncomfortably as he smiled and winked at me before continuing in the opposite direction

By now Mum and Heather were a good 30 feet ahead of me as I saw them enter a little café. Mum looked behind her and on seeing me floundering yelled “come on Joanne stop dilly dallying girl”

After a 45-minute break in which Mum moaned about me having a fruit scone. Telling me that I needed to lose some puppy fat, which to Mum’s annoyance prompted Heather to counter that I was just fine and didn’t need to lose any weight, we left the café and went directly to the photography studio

On entering the shop, we were greeted by the proprietor Diane “Oh hi Ladies. How are you doing?” Remembering my name, she complimented me saying “You are looking lovely Joanne” as she seemed genuinely pleased to see Mum and I

“Err thanks Diane” I responded feeling suddenly unsure

“You ok Joanne. You look a little hot. Take your coat off and have a sit down love” she offered whilst pointing to a leather sofa

“Thank you, Diane. She isn’t feeling herself today. She had a little episode earlier in the car park. We have just had a coffee and a little snack, and I think she is doing ok now, aren’t you love?” Mum answered on my behalf, whilst not really considering that I perhaps wasn’t ok

“Oh, you poor love. Come on take that big coat off and have a sit down. I assume you are here to collect your photos hon? Diane questioned me rather than Mum

Not for the first time today Mum responded on my behalf “She will be ok Diane, although we best get her home after picking up the photos. It’s a shame as my sister and I were really looking forward to getting some Christmas shopping done today”

I blushed thinking “Sorry to be such an inconvenience Mum” as I undid my coat and rested it on the arm of the sofa. I sat as demurely as possible on the edge of the seat so as not to have my skirt ride up

Diane could see that I was uncomfortable and chirpily defended me “oh that is a shame Mrs Moore, however poor you Jo. Do you want a drink. Some water perhaps?”

“I am good thanks. Just tired really” I honestly answered whilst undoing the buttons of my cardigan and in doing so revealing my blouse underneath

“What a pretty blouse Jo” Diane again praised me which made me smile

“Thanks. It’s ok I guess” I coyly replied not being used to receiving so many compliments

Diane looked over to Mum and Heather and offered “Ladies, sorry please do take a seat whilst I get Joanne’s photographs. Can I get either of you a drink?”

Mum and Heather both declined a drink. Diane therefore made her way through a door at the back of the shop to collect the snaps

“Joanne, put your legs together” Mum whispered at me seeing me resting on the edge of the sofa “You don’t want everyone seeing your dirty washing”

“What, err” I embarrassingly moaned back whilst tightly clamping my hosed legs together at an angle, intuitively hanging the strap of my handbag over my knees so it lay on the floor in front of me

“Leave her alone Claire. She was hardly showing anything off” Heather supported me “It’s difficult wearing a skirt that short without showing off a little thigh”

“Precisely Hettie” Mum declared as a young lad came through a door into the reception area

“Hello ladies” he politely greeted us all whilst smiling warmly, however he noticeably smiled more so at me “Are you all being looked after?”

“Yes, thank you young man” Mum replied “Claire is collecting some photos for us”

“Oh, that’s good to know” he beamed as he went about putting away some decorative frames into glass cabinets at the front of the shop

Mum leant across to me and whispered “See you would have given that nice young man a good show if I hadn’t told you to put your legs together”

I couldn’t be bothered to respond to her, however, knew I had probably gone bright red at Mum’s ridiculous assertion

After a few minutes with Mum and Heather making small talk whilst I watched the young lad, Diane returned with a small box “Here we are Ladies” she indicated to the box before noticing that we had company “Oh have you met my Adam?” she asked whilst gesturing to the young man who now stood in front of her “This is my eldest son” she proudly stated whilst gently messing with his hair

“Mum gerrof” he protested whilst looking across at me obviously embarrassed

On noticing Adam looking my way Claire laughed “She’s pretty isn’t she? This is Joanne the girl I was telling you about who was going to be working at the wedding. We didn’t see you there love”

I now was embarrassed “Err no. I wasn’t there” I responded as I shyly looked away and down at my slim nyloned encased knees and trendy boots

The grown-ups continued to talk to each other as Adam and I furtively glanced across at each other from time to time. He smiled at me cheekily and I couldn’t help but smile back

Claire showed us the photos and asked whether we were happy with the results. Mum loved them “They are great Diane. I love them. They grow up so quickly. At least I will now have these to look at when she is off making a life for herself, leaving her poor old mum to fend for herself” mum teased

“Mother” I challenged “You’re not exactly poor and I can’t ever imagine escaping your clutches”

This made everyone including Adam laugh

“It must be lovely to have a daughter Claire. I have three boys. I know as soon as they find the love of their lives, they will be off. I think girls are different. They are always close to their mothers even after they have settled down and got married. I know that is the case with my dear old mum” Diane proclaimed wistfully

The photos were good. I still couldn’t believe that the smart looking girl in her work uniform was me. I studied the photos and tried to find flaws. All I could see was a pretty looking young woman wearing a feminine work blouse and fitted skirt. As I examined the photos Adam was asked to give his opinion

“What do you think of the shots Adam” Diane asked her son

Adam didn’t hesitate “They look great Mum. You look lovely in them all Joanne” Adam responded sweetly whilst nervously looking at me.

I was really embarrassed as I wasn’t used to compliments, especially from boys

“Oh, that’s nice” Mum answered on my behalf “She must have my good genes Adam”

After a few more minutes looking at the 20 photos and Mum paying Diane she stated “Anyway we best be getting you home youngster” whilst smiling lovingly at me

I raised myself from the sofa with one hand, whilst holding the hem of my skirt down with the other hand so as not to give Adam a glance of my “dirty washing” as Mum so eloquently put it. As I started to put my coat back on Diane spoke

“I was thinking Claire that if you and your sister really wanted to get some shopping done, if Joanne was ok with staying with me, she could rest up here and wait for you”

I wasn’t enthused with Diane’s suggestion however what could I say without looking ungrateful and rude

“It’s up to you mum” I looked across to mum whilst clandestinely pulling a pleading face so Diane and Adam couldn’t see, hoping that she would decline Diane’s offer and say we had to make tracks home

Mum as usual disappointed “If you are sure you are ok with Joanne staying with you Diane, that would be great. Are you sure that she won’t be in your way”

Great I thought. Now I am an annoyance for everyone

“No of course she won’t be in the way. You can just rest up on the sofa Jo and read a magazine or two” Diane smiled in my direction

It dawned on me at that moment that I hadn’t realised that the female pronouns of “she” and “her” being used to refer to me, were now not really affecting me. I guess the way I was dressed were appropriate in my current situation

Diane seemed really pleased as it emerged that I was apparently going to stay with her whilst Mum and Heather went shopping “Super, take your coat of again love” she suggested whilst assisting me to take the coat from my shoulders

Mum and Heather looked happy that they could hit the shops without me trailing along

“Now be a good girl Joanne” Mum told me “Don’t get in Diane’s way. She has work to do. It wouldn’t hurt you to help where you can”

I felt awkward with Mum’s words. I wasn’t a thirteen-year-old “Mother Please. Go shopping won’t you. Don’t worry I won’t disgrace you” I irritably told her

After a few more minutes Mum and Heather went on their way, however only after both had kissed me on the cheek, leaving me with Diane and her son

I stood there awkwardly as Mum and Heather merged into the throes of shoppers. Diane seeing that was nervous to be left, put a comforting arm around my shoulder

“Take a seat Jo. Unfortunately, Adam and I are a little busy at the moment, so we won’t be able to sit with you just now, however you make yourself at home love. The kitchen is just through that door if you want to make yourself a drink. There are some nice chocolate biscuits on the worktop if you want something to eat sweetie”

I looked across at Adam who was cheerfully smiling at me. I smiled back shyly “Thanks Diane. Do you want me to make you and Adam a drink”

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you love. I would love a cuppa. What about you Adam?” Diane asked her eldest

Adam asked for a coffee without sugar “Here let me show you where everything is Jo” Adam offered as I followed him through to the small galley kitchen beyond the door

He filled the kettle with water and switched it on. Adam then proceeded to show me where everything was, which embarrassingly meant at one point he had to squeeze past me in the small kitchen and in doing so his hands grabbed hold of my hips as he sidled past me

I felt giddy as I felt his large hands on my hips “Sorry Joanne. Its a bit tight in here” he apologised impishly

“Oh. that’s ok Adam. It is a bit tight in here, isn’t it?” I repeated stupidly knowing full well that I going bright red. Crikey, what must he think of me I thought to myself. He probably thinks I am a silly teenager without an ounce of intelligence

“It certainly is Joanne, although I am not complaining” he teased

I felt flushed as he informed me he would be in the studio with his mum and to come through when I was ready. I watched him leave and thought to myself “He is quite a catch”. GOD – What is wrong with me? I’m losing it?

I was still feeling warm and decided to off take my cardigan as I waited for the kettle to boil

After making the two teas and one coffee, I put the three mugs on a tray together with the chocolate biscuits I carefully made my way through to the familiar studio where I had had my photos taken only a few days earlier. As I entered Diane looked up from what she was doing and greeted me warmly “thank you so much Joanne. I am gasping for a drink”

I put the tray down on a table and handed Diane a mug of tea

As I handed her the mug, she noticed my fingernails “That nail polish is so pretty love. It really shows of your long fingernails. What colour varnish is that? Do you remember where you bought it from” she asked seemingly interested

Not knowing how to reply I tried to think on my feet “I am not sure of the colour. I think I bought it in Debenhams”

“Well, it’s a lovely colour. It really suits you. You know you could be a hand model Joanne. Your hands are beautiful”

A hand model? What’s that I thought. I felt awkward and to try and cover my embarrassment I told Diane that I thought I had the varnish in my bag, and I could go and get it if she wanted me to

“Oh, please do Joanne. I would love to know what brand and colour it is. I might get myself a bottle”

Adam looked on obviously amused at our inane girly chat. His mum caught him grinning “what do you find so amusing mister? She asked

“Oh, nothing Mum. I just don’t get women’s obsession with things like nail polish and make-up” he answered genuinely perplexed

Before his mum could respond a bell went off the other side of the studio door announcing that someone had entered the shop “I’ll get that mum. You have your break and a chat to Jo” he offered like the devoted son that he obviously was

As Adam went through the door, I remembered that I had left my handbag in the kitchen and apologised to Diane as I followed him to collect it

On getting the handbag and routing through the contents to find the varnish, I noticed that Adam was dealing with a young couple who I guessed were about both around 24 years of age. The woman was carrying a tiny little puppy who was nuzzled into her chest.

I don’t know what came over me as I boldly made my way over to the group and gushed “Sorry to interrupt. oh, isn’t he adorable. Can I say hello?”

The girl looked me up and down before proudly replying “Yes of course you can. This is Barney. Say hello baby” she said as she offered him to me

Not expecting to be offered a hold of him I grabbed the little ball of fur and held him tightly against my chest. He nestled into me and straight away tried to nibble the frills on the front of my blouse

“Barney don’t do that. You will ruin her lovely blouse. I am so sorry; he is teething at the moment and wants to bite everything” she apologised

“That’s ok” I responded as I cuddled Barney. “He is so cute. Is he a Cavalier King Charles?

“Yes, he is. He is only 4 months old. We have only had him a week and we want to have some photos taken whilst he is still small” The young woman told me proudly

I forgot about my current situation, as I was really taken with the little puppy and felt quite envious. I had always wanted a dog; however, Mum had never allowed me to have one. I thought to myself that when I eventually had my own place, I too would love a little dog like Barney
The girl and I continued to chat about little Barney whilst he continued to happily snuggle into me

After a couple of minutes Adam politely interrupted “Err sorry to interrupt Jo. Louise and Mark have come in for a photo session with Mum for pictures to be taken off Barney and for some engagement photos to be taken as well. We had better take them through so Mum can make a start” he suggested

“Err yeah of course. Sorry I got carried away with this little fella” I embarrassingly replied as I handed Barney back to his new mum and then without giving any thought instinctively straightened out my blouse, tucking a unkempt tail into my skirt

“Don’t worry. He has that effect on people” Louise reassured me as she handed Barney to Mark “He is always wanting to be the centre of attention and often succeeds with dog lovers”

“He does” I grinned, and for some reason then added “oh congratulations on your engagement”

I don’t know why but my eyes were drawn to Louise’s hands to see if I could spot a ring. I don’t know why I did that, as apart from men’s watches I had never ever been interested in jewellery before

Louise noticed me looking at her hands and offered up her hand to show me her beautiful white diamond engagement ring “Oh it’s gorgeous” I gushed not knowing where the word gorgeous had come from. It wasn’t a word that I think I had ever used before; however, it just seemed the right word to say to sum up the beauty of the ring

“Aww thanks Jo. It is Jo isn’t it” she asked

“Err, yes Jo, Joanne” I blurted nervously in response

As Adam, Mark and Barney made their way to the studio Louise gently touched my bare arm and whispered “is there a toilet I could use Joanne? I am busting for a pee”

I pointed Louise in the direction of the single toilet which I knew was to the side of the kitchenette “I will wait here for you” I offered as I intuitively picked up my handbag from the coffee table and hung it over my shoulder as if it was the most normal thing in the world for me to do

“Thanks Joanne. Can I leave my coat with you” she asked as she slipped her long coat from her shoulders

“Yes, sure no problem” I replied whilst looking at the lovely outfit Louise was wearing “I just love your skirt and blouse Louise”
Where did that come from, I thought. I was never one to give women compliments

“Aww thanks babe. I think I will come here more often. So many compliments. Is this all part of the service? Does your boss tell you to say that to all of the customers” she kidded

“Oh, I don’t work here. I just think your outfit is lovely. Perfect for your photo shoot” I timidly responded whilst taking in her cute tan leather pencil skirt, brown knee length boots and tight black sweater that showed off her lovely curves

Louise like me obviously didn’t know how to take a compliment “Oh these old things” she gestured to her clothes whilst pulling her tight sweater down over her hips “I didn’t know what to wear. It’s not like I have ever had to wear something for engagement photos before” she joked

“No quite” I mumbled as she left me with her coat and walked across to the loo.

She turned around “You don’t work here?” Louise asked puzzled as to why I was in the shop “Is Adam your boyfriend then. Is that why you are hanging around here?”

“Oh no, he is just a friend” I bashfully answered

“Just a friend eh” she teased “Me and Mark started off as just friends when we were at school and now look at where we are”

She winked at me as she again made her way to the toilet

Whilst she was gone, I hung her coat on a stand and took some time to look at myself in one off the many full-length mirrors in the reception area. I took in my incredibly feminine reflection and understood why everyone I met took me to be a girl. My hair and make up still looked good despite my earlier hysterics. I looked closely at my make up and thought I could do with putting on some more mascara. I felt envious of Louise, whose make up I noticed was so well done. She was obviously very accomplished at doing her make up

Louise returned as I was applying a second coat of mascara to my lashes “that’s better hon” she smiled

I didn’t know how to answer and before I could do so Louise came over and stood beside me and looked into the mirror to check her own hair and make up

“You have lovely skin. You obviously look after it Jo” she indicated whilst looking closely into my eyes “how old are you Joanne if you don’t mind me asking”

“Nearly 18”

“17? I would have put you down as about 21. You look so mature for your age” she stated as she watched me return the mascara wand to the make-up bag in my handbag “do you wear make up often Jo”

“Err, no. Is it that obvious Louise” I fearfully asked her

“Please call me Lou. Only my Mum and Dad call me Louise” she asked “Your make-up is fine Jo. If you don’t mind me saying though, you could improve a couple of things. Sorry I am not being critical. It’s just cosmetics is my job. I work in Harrods on the Estee Lauder concession, and I love helping young girls look their best. I get fed up having to make the rich old hags look half decent. Some of them are lost causes, however they do spend a lot of their hubby’s money” she joked

I smiled at her wisecrack relieved that she had not seen through my disguise. I was thinking of how I should respond when Diane came into the reception area

“There you are girls. Come on let us get started” she directed. She turned to me as she gestured for us both to follow her and commented “you are looking a lot peakier now Joanne. The colour has returned to your cheeks”

I reddened as Diane and Louise walked ahead of me as I overheard Diane whisper to Lou “She wasn’t feeling that well earlier. Her mum told me that she is having a particularly difficult period this month, poor love”

On being informed of this Louise turned around and quite unexpectedly gave me a big hug “We have all been there Jo” she said as she rubbed my back “Unfortunately, it’s the cross we have to bear babes”

I was mortified, as again I was included in this most intimate of feminine conversations. I really wanted to crawl up into a ball and cry, however, I knew I had to put on a brave face until Mum and Heather returned

End of chapter 34

Chapter 5

I awoke the next morning to the feel of the satin hem of the nightdress against my silky waxed legs. Not a bad feeling I thought. What was I thinking?

I got up and looked at myself in my bedroom mirror. What stared back at me shocked me to the core. A teenage girl of about 16 years old looking cute in a purple satin nightdress that just reached her knees. My hair up in tight curlers covered by a black hairnet and my eyes black from where I hadn’t fully removed the mascara the night before.

As I looked at myself mum shouted through the door “Joe you up and decent?”

“Yes mum”

Mum walked in, smiled and beamed “ You look cute baby”

I could feel my cheeks glow in embarrassment and didn't respond

“Joe we have a busy morning ahead. Let me run you a nice hot bath before you come down for your breakfast”

“OK mum” I yawned whilst stretching my arms aloft making the nightie rise up slightly. I was far from awake

Mum went off to run the bath whilst I sat on the edge of my bed recalling the events of the day before. How did I get into this mess wherein I would today be serving as a waitress in front of loads of wedding guests.

I was miles away in my own thoughts when mum called from the bathroom “ Come on Joe. Your baths ready love”

I walked through to the bathroom where a hot bath filled with bubbles welcomed me. “ Put this shower cap on Joe otherwise your hair will get damp and won’t hold a style”

Reluctantly and still waking up, I did as I was told and put the pink plastic shower cap over my rollered head.

When mum left the bathroom, I shut the door, slid off the nightie and knickers and got into the hot waters.

I used some soap that mum had left on the side of the bath and noticed that it had a strong perfumed smell to it. As I lathered my legs and arms I marveled at how good my skin felt with no hair to speak off apart from what was in rollers on my head.

I lay there looking at my pedicured toes still painted in the shiny plum nail varnish and noted that my finger nails were looking a little chipped probably from typing on the work PC the day before.

As I daydreamed mum came into the bathroom and scooped up the nightdress and knickers from the floor where I had dropped them.

“Joe don’t leave your nightclothes and knickers on the floor, hang them up will you”

“Mum there not mine” I cried.

“You wore them last, you hang them up young man!” She stated ending any argument I might have had

“You better get out Joe, you will go all prunny. When you are out and dried off use this body lotion on your legs and arms and use this deodorant”

Mum gave me some Oil of Ulay body oil and women's deodorant.

When mum left the bathroom I got out and dried myself in a big fluffy towel. Then as instructed rubbed the oil into my legs, arms and body. When finished I sprayed the deodorant under my arms. I noticed that the deodorant smelt of lavender and in spraying it on me so did I now.

“Mum I have nothing to wear” I shouted as I walked down the hallway to my bedroom only wearing a towel around my waist.

“I have put some clothes on your bed Joe. You can wear them whilst we do your hair ” mum shouted back

As I walked into my bedroom I was greeted with the site of a silk looking garment on my bed. On closer inspection I saw that it was a cream coloured silk nightdress and had a matching robe. Both garments were lavishly adorned with intricate lace at the hems and sleeves as well as at the bodice of the nightdress.

“Mum I can’t wear these” I protested

“I don't see why not Joe, you are wearing curlers and you wore a nightdress last night. Who's going to see you apart from me"

“But mum it’s not right I’m a boy!”

Mum laughed “ Joe you don’t look much like a boy at the moment in your cute curlers. Lets just have some fun whilst I do your hair and see how cute we can make you look. There is a bra and pair of knickers on the bed for you as well. Pad out your bra with the water filled balloons we used yesterday sweetheart”

“But mum this is your nightdress” I recalled my mother wearing it on a number of occasions and thought how pretty she looked in it.

“So, can’t I share my clothes with my new daughter” she teased “Come on, Joe, humour me please darling”

I don’t know why but I couldn’t be bothered to argue and answered a meek, “OK.”

“Good girl” mum winked as she left my bedroom.

I pulled the towel off me and quickly pulled the white satin knickers up my legs. When I had them on I noticed that the gusset had fine lace mesh that gave a hint of my fine pubic hair. The leg holes had a small decoration of frilly satin. I strangely thought that the satin knickers made my bum look cute.

I put the bra on as Julie had shown me the day before. I hooked it at the front before pulling it around my chest and pulling the straps over my shoulders. The straps were about ½" wide and I had to untwist the straps so that they sat comfortably upon my shoulders without digging in. The bra was white satin with underwired cups finished in lace. What was my mother trying to do to me?

I filled the bra cups with the two discarded white water filled balloons from the night before and looked at my new form in the mirror. What looked back shocked me. It was me looking every bit a sexy cute teenage girl.

I don’t know what came over me but I somehow liked the look and felt grown up and pretty. I straightened myself in the knicker region so that I had a flat front, which made me feel even more girly.

I pulled on the nightdress and the thin spaghetti straps settled on my shoulder alongside my bra straps. The nightdress fell to just above my ankles and I can recall even now the shiver that ran through me as the silk of the gown touched my body. Aww heaven! What is happening to me I worried.

Just then the phone rang disturbed me from my insecurities and Mum went to answer it

“Oh hi Mrs Benson, Joanne?, Oh yes she has just got out of the bath. I will get her for you”

She? Her?

Mum came in to my bedroom holding the cordless phone “Joe it’s Mrs Benson. She wants to talk to you”

I took the phone from mother thinking what could Mrs Benson want with me at this time of day

“Hi Mrs Benson”

“Hello Joanne. I am sorry to trouble you on your day off, it’s just that Heather has called in sick with a tummy upset and I am one girl short on the desk. Can you fill in for her please?”

“Erm I can’t Mrs Benson, as you know I am helping out at the wedding breakfast later”

“I know Joanne” She continued with my girly name “ I have spoken to Mr Lawson and as long as you are ready to assist him at 3pm he doesn’t have a problem with you helping me out earlier. Please Joanne I am in a right bind here!”

“ But Mrs Benson I won't be able to get to you for at least an hour, I have just got out of the bath and my mum will need to sort my hair into a boys style”

“ Oh no Jo that won't work" Mrs Benson interrupted me

" You will have to come into work as Joanne and I will help you get changed into your waitress uniform later on”

“ I don’t know Mrs Benson. It’s a bit too much. I’m not ready” I pleaded

Mum abruptly snatched the phone from my hand “ Hi Mrs Benson, Jo will help you out. She is still in her nightdress (mother please!), however if we get a move on she could be with you in about an hour or so. I will drive her in”

“Oh Mrs Moore, you are a godsend. Thank you so much. Don’t forget to bring along her change of clothes for when she waitresses later”

“ I won't Mrs Benson. See you shortly. Bye” Mum hung up as I screamed

“Mother what are you doing? Its bad enough having to serve later, but to appear on reception again as a girl is too much”

“ Oh stop whining Joanne” Mum dismissed me with a flick of her hand “ Come on we need to get a move on as we have lots to do"

Mum handed me the remaining garment that lay on my bed "Put on your dressing gown honey"

As I did and as mum tied the waist belt she gushed "Oh Jo by you look so pretty”

Blushing I followed mum downstairs to the kitchen where she told me to sit down on a chair next to the kitchen table.

I sat down and remembered the tutoring from the day before as I smoothed the skirts of the nightdress and gown under me as I sat. I then crossed my legs at the knee and positioned the skirts of the nightdress and gown about my raised knee.

“Joe if I didn’t know better I would have thought you had always been a girl. You act and look so much like a young woman”

“Gee thanks mum” I sarcastically replied looking down at my feet so as not to catch mums admiring face

She handed me a mug of tea and a croissant. As I was drinking and eating she took off the shower cap and hairnet and proceeded to take out all of the hair curlers she had put in my hair the night before.

After about 10 minutes or so of removing curlers and pins, Mother started to use a roundish brush to style my hair into the creation she was looking for. I could feel her pulling my hair this way and that. There were no mirrors so I couldn’t tell what she was up to.

After about 25 minutes of sitting there. Mum sprayed my hair in a mass of lacquer and took me over to a mirror in the hall. I was astonished to find that my head was a mass of tight curls and that feathery curly bangs fell across my forehead to my eyebrows. My mother had pulled my hair back tightly at the sides with 4 white shell like hair combs (two each side). Her actions resulted in me looking ultra feminine.

By pulling my hair back at the sides I could now clearly see the two small earring studs that adorned each of my ears

I went to touch my hair “ Joanne leave your hair alone. You will mess it up” mum exclaimed as she pushed my hand down

I was in a daze. The young feminine woman in the mirror was me and I think I liked the look. What was happening to me?

“Mum it looks lovely, thanks” I truthfully told her

“Aww you are welcome honey. You look so sweet. Right let’s get your make up on. Time is marching on”

Over the next 15 minutes mum made up my face and when finished she said I looked like a young Lady Diana.
I looked in the small mirror she waved in front of me and was astonished to see that I now looked quite a bit older than my 18 years.

Mum had made my eyes up with navy blue eyeliner and pencils and had brushed dark navy mascara on my upper and lower eyelashes. She had used mauve and pink shadow on my eyelids, which were blended in perfectly.

She had used a warm foundation to give me a healthy glow. My complexion was normally quite pale especially in winter.

She finished off by using reddish pink blusher on my cheeks, which made my cheeks look enormous. She had finished the look off by applying a dark pink lipstick to my lips and my lips looked wet from the final coating of lipgloss.

Mum started wiping off the nail varnish on my fingernails

“Mum what are you doing now?” I asked

“Just redoing your nails honey. They are looking a little sorry for themselves" she beamed at me obviously enjoying herself

She used nail varnish remover on each of my nails and then used a nail file to clean up one or two nails before applying a varnish that she advised matched my lips.

Mum told me to wave my hands in the air to assist my nails in drying and went off to get something.

When she returned she sprayed Estee Lauder Knowing perfume on my wrists, neck and thighs (why?). I now smelled as pretty as I looked.

When my fingernails were dry Mum told me to come into her bedroom. She had laid out the same uniform I had worn the day before and said, “We had better get a move on or Mrs Benson will be annoyed. Slip of your nightie and gown honey”

I did as I was told and stood before my mum in just my knickers and bra.

Mum looked at me and gushed, “ You know you have such a great figure Joanne”

I blushed and didn’t know how to reply

Mum handed me a full white slip and told me to pull it up over me rather than put it on over my head as she said it would mess up my hair. This slip was different from the one I had worn yesterday and had two inch of lace at the hem of the silk skirt. The bodice was also adorned in very decorative lace. Mum straightened the slip and adjusted the straps of my bra and slip before handing me a freshly laundered uniform blouse.

As my nails were still not quite dry, mum helped me slip on the blouse and she did up the small pearl like buttons at the front to my neck and the 3 buttons at each of the cuffs. She pulled the blouse down and said

“ It’s so pretty isn’t it Jo?”

Again I never replied and looked down sheepishly as she told me to slip on the sheer navy tights that she waved at my feet. I sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully pulled the tights up as Julie and mum had shown me the day before, being careful not to snag them

“Great legs Jo. You lucky girl!" she teased as she pulled me up of the bed

Mum positioned the uniform pencil skirt at my feet and asked me to step into it. As I did so mum pulled the skirt up my legs and tucked the blouse in at the waist before doing up the two skirt buttons at the back and then she pulled the zip up and I felt the skirt encase me.

Mum then had me slip a thin red leather belt around the skirt waistband and she did the belt up tight so that I had an exaggerated small waist.

“Mum that’s too tight” I protested

“Oh don’t be such a baby. It gives you a great waistline Jo. You now know what we women have to go through to look good”

Mum then put her hands up under my skirt and pulled down the slip and blouse tails so that they both sat taught upon my upper body. I could feel the straps of both the slip and bra go tight on my shoulders.

Mum finished by straightening my skirt out ensuring that the kick pleat of the slip married up with the kick pleat of the tight pencil skirt.

“Oh you look so pretty Joanne. I am so proud of you" she beamed "Let’s tie your bow around your neck”

Mum tied the red silk bow at my neck into an oversized big flouncy bow and then handed me a different pair of shoes from the ones I had worn the day before.

“Slip these on Jo and I will do up the buckles for you” Mum requested.

The navy shoes I slipped on had 3 inch heels and very pointed toes. A strap ran across the bridge of my nyloned feet and mum buckled the straps up around the side of my ankle.

“Those heels make your legs amazing. What a pretty young girl you are sweetheart”

I stood there balancing on the heels not knowing what to say and instinctively walked over to my mum’s mirror noticing that the heels made me walk with much smaller steps and a different gait.

I looked into the mirror and was flabbergasted at my appearance. I could see that I looked even better than the day before. What came out of my mouth next shocked me

“thanks mum for making me look so good”

I could see my mum tear up a little before saying,

“ Your welcome honey. Come on you. Mrs Benson will be wondering where we are"

Before leaving mum attached a thin pearl necklace around my neck which hung outside my blouse. She pulled the pussy bow of the blouse over the necklace hiding it a little.

Mum then put a matching pearl bracelet on one wrist and a gold bangle bracelet on the other. She then had me put on two smallish rings and proclaimed that I looked just right.

Mum handed me the uniform jacket and I hung it across my arm as I was warm.

“ Put your jacket on Joanne. It’s cold outside. You will catch your death of cold!” Mum insisted

I pulled the jacket on and straightened the bow of my blouse so that it fell outside the jacket. Mum handed me a leather navy shoulder bag, which I somehow instinctively knew should be hung over one shoulder.

Mum insisted upon a further spray of perfume across my upper body and I again knew I was destined to smell of sweet scent all day.

As we were about to leave mums bedroom she remembered the uniform I was too wear later that day at the wedding breakfast. She had ironed it and hung it up on hangers.

" You are going to look so sweet and professional in this Jo" she said as she held the white blouse in front of me

“Look the blouse has little buttons that do up at the back. You will have to get one of the other girls at work to help you do it up”

She said that she had put some black shoes and tights into another bag as they were part of the uniform and my navy shoes and tights wouldn't go with the black waitress’s skirt that I was to wear later

“Jo look at this cap for your hair. Isn’t it precious? Mrs Benson will have to show you how to clip it to your hair so that it doesn’t fall out when you are serving the wedding guests and Adam!”

“Mum please” I said embarrassed

Don’t mum me” she replied “ You are so pretty. I bet all the men will be trying to chat you up” she teased.

I groaned and felt hot

Mum picked up the bag that now contained the shoes, tights, cap and apron and we made ourselves downstairs where mum had me put on the woolen knee length coat that I had worn yesterday.

As we walked down the drive to mums car I shivered at the cold and was glad that mum had insisted that I wrap up.
I could feel the chill around my calf's, which were hardly protected by my flimsy tights. The tiny spike heels of my shoes clattered on the uneven pavement as I unsteadily walked to the car.

I remembered Mum's prompting of how to get in and out of a car as I got slid into the car as woman wearing a tight skirt would.

I pulled my skirt and coat down around my knees to keep warm as mum started the car. I could feel the blast of icy cold air on my legs. I shivered at what awaited me that day. Mrs Benson? Diane’s son Adam?

What amazed me was that a calm somehow came over me and I reflected on how I felt pretty. Mum got in and as she was putting on her seatbelt she put her hand upon mine to reassure me that all would be fine.

I smiled at her embarrassed that her only son me, so easily could be mistaken for a teenage girl.

As we drove to the hotel, Mum made small talk and kept telling me how pretty I looked and told me that my features were wasted on a boy.

“You know, Joe, you ought to grow your hair. You can try so many more styles when it’s longer.”

“I don’t want to try more styles mother. I want to get it cut off as this is very embarrassing,” I replied.

“Look, Joe, don’t tell me you don’t see the same as me when you look in the mirror. I see a lovely teenage girl and I think you should consider how well you now fit in and how well you are liked by everyone as Joanne,” mum retorted.

“Mum this isn’t right, I know I look okay however I'm a young man and I shouldn’t be doing this,” I pleaded, feeling the now warm air from the car's heater against my legs.

“Mum please turn down the heater, I feel a little queasy.”

“Oh darling, are you okay?” Mum looked across, concerned, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No I’ll be okay. Keep driving. I’m just nervous.”

After a short time we arrived at the hotel. Mum pulled up outside the staff entrance.

As I slipped my seat belt off. Mum reached across and squeezed my hand; “Are you going to be okay, Joe? Shall I walk in with you?”

I squeezed her hand back “No, Mum, I’ll be fine, I just need some air”

“OK then. Give me a call when you want to be picked up. I don’t want my daughter walking home in the dark,” she smiled.

I opened the car door and swung my legs out as gracefully as I could trying not to show too much leg. I swung my handbag across my shoulder and was about to close the door and say bye when my mother handed me the waitress uniform and bag with accessories within.

“Oh thanks, Mum" I blushed

“You are so cute when you blush dear, have a great day,” she said cheerfully.

Some chance I thought as I turned and walked towards the staff entrance. I again felt the cold air against my hosed legs and the tight restraint of my knee length skirt restricting the strides as I walked.

I sheepishly entered the building and clocked in without anyone noticing me and made my way to the reception office. As I entered Mrs Benson greeted me

“Oh there you are, sweetie. I’m so pleased you could help me out. It’s manic here today. We have the wedding on and the hotel will be full" she excitedly spoke

"Guests are checking in and out and poor little Sophie’s struggling on the desk on her own. Can you assist her please, Joanne? Oh, by the way, I love how you have done your hair today, you really are a pretty little thing, dear.”

“Erm thanks Mrs Benson,” I murmured as I looked at myself in a mirror automatically pulling down the hem of my skirt so that my slip didn’t show.

“You are so precious, Jo, now jump to it, girl.” Mrs Benson smiled.

I walked out to reception and was greeted by Sophie.

“Am I pleased to see you, Joe. You really look great, girl.” Sophie smiled whilst still dealing with a guest who was checking out.

“Can you attend to the queue, babe,” she almost pleaded"

End of chapter 5

Chapter 6

Before long, both Sophie and I had dealt with the backlog of customers and we had a few minutes to chat

“Joe, you’re a godsend for coming in. I was getting all frazzled out here on my own, although I must admit Mrs Benson has helped out a lot this morning,” she thanked me.

“I love your shoes, Joanne. They really show off your legs, you lucky moo,” laughed Sophie.

I looked down and noticed just how well the shoes did show off my shapely legs, encased in the shiny navy tights.

We continued chatting and working and I tried to forget my circumstances, which was hard seeing as every time I typed on the reception keyboard with my pearly pink fingernails ‘girl’ shouted out at me. I was also again very aware of the bra straps on my shoulders and the smell of the perfume my mother had doused me in earlier in the day.

Mrs Benson came out to the front desk and said that as it had slowed down a bit could I please assist the florist in taking up the bridal bouquets to the wedding party who were already in the hotel. Mrs Benson advised me that the bride, bride’s mother and bridesmaids were in room 402 and asked me to take the flowers up and then rush back.

I left with the florist who was carrying the bouquets in a big long box. I walked in front showing him the way and became very aware of eyes darting into my back as we walked. I turned around once and caught the elderly man looking at my legs.

I weakly smiled and said, “Not far now.” I could feel that my face had gone bright red where I was blushing.

When we got to room 402 I knocked on the door and was greeted by a little flower girl looking up at me. She was probably about 7 years old. I smiled at her and then was greeted by a middle-aged lady behind her.

“Hi, I am sorry to disturb you madam. We have the flowers,” I managed to murmur

“Oh yes, please come in,” she motioned me in the room

“Do you mind?” She redirected her attention to the florist “The girls aren’t dressed, can we take the flowers from you?” and without waiting for a reply took the long box from the man.

As the florist was handing over the box she thanked him, gestured me into the room and closed the door behind her. Inside the room I was greeted by chaos. The bride was having her hair done, two bridesmaids were assisting each other into their dresses and two little flower girls were running around.

“My name’s Susan, I am Claire’s mother,” she said motioning to the bride who was sitting in an upright chair. Claire smiled warmly at me.

“Hi, my name’s Joanne,” I replied in a small voice. “I have just brought up the flowers." stating the obvious. What an idiot!

I was about to leave when Susan said, “Joanne, could you possibly help us out with the flowers? We’re all running late and could do with an extra pair of hands.”

“Erm, I don’t know. I should really get back, my friend is alone on the front desk,” I said, hoping to make a quick exit.

“Nonsense, let me call down and ask if you can stay and help us for a little while,” Susan insisted.

Before I could reply Susan was on the phone and within seconds had hung up. “That’s all sorted, they said they can spare you for 30 minutes.”
I stood there, bemused, when Susan spoke. “Right, come on then Joanne, let’s make use of you. Take off your jacket and make yourself comfortable.”

With trepidation I took off my jacket and held it in the crook of my arm. I stood before the women feeling an outsider in this female only sanctuary.

“Joanne what a lovely blouse. It really suits your figure and makes you look really professional” Susan gushed.

“Oh Mum please, I don’t think Jo would be wearing a blouse like that if she had a choice, do you? It’s like something Margaret Thatcher would have worn,” Claire laughed whilst smiling at me.

The other women in the room giggled at Claire’s quip.

"Don't be rude Claire. I think it looks really pretty on Joanne" Susan protested

I smiled back at Claire. “Not exactly my thing, however it’s part of the uniform so I guess I don’t have much of a choice.”

Susan walked up to me and straightened the bow of the blouse at my neck and said, “Take no notice of Claire. I think it looks cute.”

I blushed and at that moment felt like a 3 year old being dressed by her mother.

“Right then Joanne, let's get you to work,” Susan smiled.

I nervously smiled and wondered what she had in mind

Chapter 7

The next 30 minutes flew by as I assisted the women of the bridal party in getting ready for the wedding.

Susan asked me to look after the two little flower girls Jade and Grace and asked that I keep them busy, out of mischief and out of the grown up girls way whilst they got ready.

I ended up sitting on the edge of the big double bed with the two girls either side of me whilst we flicked through a few magazines. They seemed to take to me and I must admit that I did enjoy their company.

Weird? Me a teenage boy enjoying the company of two little girls whilst reading girls gossip magazines.

After about 15 minutes of playing Susan asked for my help in getting the flower girls ready which involved putting on their little white shoes and tying the little pink sash's in bows at the back of their dresses. I felt very strange kneeling in front of the girls strapping on their shoes whilst they sat on the edge of the bed.

Susan asked me for one last favour and that was to pop along to the Best Man’s room to deliver the buttonholes. Before leaving she asked me whether I knew how buttonholes were pinned to a lapel. I of course didn’t know and she promptly showed me and said

“Just in case the men don’t know how to put their button holes on”

Before leaving Susan and Claire thanked me for my help “ Hopefully we will see you later Joanne?” Susan asked

“ Maybe. I don’t know. I will probably be busy” I hoped.

I slipped my jacket back on and exited the room and made my way to the guy’s room and with a shaking hand I knocked at the door

“Hello love can I help you” answered a man of about 50 years old who I guessed must have been Susan’s husband

“I have the button holes for your suits. Susan asked me to give them to you” I stammered nervously

“Well don’t hang about out there love. Come on in” the man gestured me into the room.

I walked in the room and was greeted by four other men. I was introduced to them all by Geoff who I had guessed right was indeed Susan’s husband.

“This is Richard the condemned man.” Geoff laughed as Richard walked over and shook my weak hand with his big right hand. Richard was about 6’2” and towered above me “Hi what’s your name” he asked

“Jo” I barely spoke “Joanne, my name is Joanne” I managed to squeak

“This is Martin. Richard’s best man” Geoff carried on introducing everyone.

Martin went one better and kissed me on the left cheek. I could feel myself go all hot and clammy. I embarrassingly looked down at the floor as I smelt wine on Martin's breath. I thought to myself that he had already probably drunk a little too much and I thought the way he was going he wasn’t going to be much good as a best man.

Geoff introduced me to the other two men. Eric who was Richard’s dad shook my hand and he was followed by Calum who was introduced as Richard’s younger brother.

Calum who I guessed was about my age shyly shook my hand and said “Hello Jo” whilst smiling like a twerp!

The other 3 men started cheering Calum and Eric jokingly said “ He has gone all shy on you Joanne. He obviously likes you”

Calum went bright red and I felt myself do the same. Calum punched Eric on the arm and said, "Oh shut up dad. Your embarrassing"

“Anyway I better get back” I exclaimed nervously as I turned to leave the room

“Hold on a minute Joanne,” asked Geoff “ Does anyone know how to put on these button holes? Eric?” Geoff looked at the men in the room.

“I haven’t got a clue” replied Eric “Joanne will know. She’s a girl isn’t she?”

I nearly passed out at those words but quickly composed myself. I bet the older men saw me as a stupid girl grinning like an idiot. I was hoping to escape to the relative safety of the reception desk.

“Erm, erm” I stuttered

“ Of course she knows how to pin a button hole” Eric broke the silence

“Good girl. Then help Calum first,” exclaimed Geoff

“Ugh ok” was all I could respond

Calum walked over to the flower box and handed me one of the white carnations “Here you are,” he said smiling as he put his jacket on.
I fumbled with the pin in the carnation with my manicured nails.

“Joanne here let me help you with your jacket love. It’s warm in here” Eric spoke.

Before I had a chance to respond Eric was behind me with his hands on my jacket collar assisting the jacket off.

“Aww thank you” was all I could respond before turning away and straightening my blouse

I turned back to Calum who was standing there like a rabbit in headlights. Oh don’t I just know that feeling I thought.

I started pinning Calum’s button hole on his jacket and when finished he quickly turned away from me murmuring “thanks” and in doing so he brushed my left breast with his wrist

I could feel his wrist come into contact with my underwired lacy bra cup and false boob and a funny feeling swept over me.

I turned to the remaining three men as Geoff walked over with a carnation “Here you are my little one” he said handing me the flower.

As I started to pin the carnation on to Geoff’s jacket as he towered over me, he placed one of his hands on my shoulder. I could feel his hand through my blouse onto my bra and slip straps. I went all tingly.

Before long I had pinned all the button holes on their jackets and picked up my jacket that was hung over a chair and started for the exit

“Joanne before you go have a picture with us all” Richard asked

Before I could answer I was surrounded by four of the men whilst Calum took a photo with me in the middle.

“Right a photo of you and my little brother” Richard stated as Calum looked at him with daggers

“Let's have one of you sitting down guys” Richard spoke

“You sit down on that chair Calum and Jo you sit on his knee” he laughed

I didn’t know what to do and it seemed neither did Calum, so we did as we were told. I ended up having a photo taken of me sitting on a boys lap with my hands in the lap of my skirt whilst Calum’s hands rested on top of my hands.

I still have that photo (Calum had one copied for me). Looking at it after all these years I can now laugh at how the older guys obviously got a quick thrill as they caught a good look at my legs as my pencil skirt had ridden up, showing a flash of my navy encased thigh and the lacy hem of my white slip.

“I must be getting back,” I croaked as I quickly got up from Calum’s lap after the photo had been taken

“Ok Joanne. Thanks for everything love” Geoff answered helping me back on with my jacket

I left the room to the din of the men and Calum shouting their goodbyes.

As I exited onto the corridor I attempted to shut the door behind me however was stopped from doing so by Calum

“Jo stop” He shouted after me as I walked down the corridor all flustered “Sorry about that” He genuinely looked sorry “ I think they have all had a bit too much to drink”

“That’s ok” I blushed “I have to get back to the reception. They will be wondering where I have been”

“Oh right. Let me come with you and explain what’s kept you and tell them that you have been helping us. I don’t want to get you into trouble” exclaimed Calum.

It was at that time that I noticed that although I was wearing heels Calum easily towered over me. I also noticed that he was good looking and cute “CUTE” what was I thinking?

“Please Jo let me explain to your boss. I don’t want you to get into trouble with him” Calum pleaded looking into my eyes

I again blushed and replied “Her” and promptly starting walking off. Calum caught me up and although I was walking as fast as I could however I couldn’t shake Calum off. A little difficult when wearing high heels and a tight skirt I thought to myself grinning.

“What are you laughing at?” Calum asked smiling

“Oh nothing really” I smiled back feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. It hit me there and then as we walked! I liked Calum and in different circumstances I could have seen us as friends.

Before long we were back at reception and Mrs Benson looked angry as I said my goodbyes to Calum and walked up to the desk with my heels clicking on the reception marble floor

“Joanne where have you been girl?” Mrs Benson barked, “Sophie has been here all alone. I have had to help her”

“But Mrs Benson” I tried to reply

“No buts you irresponsible girl. Look at your tights they are laddered. What have you been up too? Get in the back office and change them. I think there is a spare pair in my desk left hand drawer”

I looked down at my legs and noticed that there was indeed a small run at the back of one leg. I don't know why but I started to get tearful and ran to the back office leaving Calum with Mrs Benson.

On reaching the sanctuary of the back office I burst into tears. What’s happening to me I cried to myself

Chapter 8

I don’t know what had come over me. Why had I cried? Mrs Benson had shouted at me before and I hadn’t burst into tears. So why now?

As I sobbed sitting at a desk as Mrs Benson joined me in the back office “There there?” She tried to sooth me as she crouched down and touched me on my nyloned knee “It appears I owe you an apology Joanne”

“Here wipe your tears away,” she said handing me a hankie “ Blow your pretty nose”

I did as I was told and as I wiped the tears from my cheeks I noticed that the white handkerchief that Mrs Benson had handed me was now coated in black smudges

“Here let me help you” She comforted me as she wiped my eyes and cheeks “ Your mascara and eyeliner have run dear. They are obviously not waterproof" she smiled warmly at me "Let’s repair your make up Joanne”

Mrs Benson cleaned me up and applied new eyeliner and mascara to my eyes and as I passively sat there she again apologised for shouting at me

“ Joanne I am really sorry for jumping to conclusions. That nice boy explained why you were detained and how helpful you have been” she said genuinely concerned.

“I think he likes you Joanne. What is his name?”

“I think his name is Calum, Mrs Benson” I answered knowing full well it was

“Well do you like him? He was asking a lot of questions about you my dear” she enquired

“I guess he is ok. I don’t know him” I blushed

“Well if you want my opinion I think you make a cute couple” she teased

I smiled back at her wondering what she meant exactly

“Anyway are you ready to get back out there and help poor Sophie? I have had a word with Mr Lawson and let him know that we are short staffed on reception today and therefore you won’t be able to help out at the wedding breakfast. Can you stay on the reception until 5pm when the evening shift starts?”

I was so relieved at not having to waitress at the wedding reception that I burst out “ Yes of course I will help out Mrs Benson. Can I call my mum to ask her to collect me later? She doesn’t want me to walk home alone in the dark”

“Why of course sweetie. A teenage girl shouldn’t be walking home alone in the dark” She replied “You make that call to your mother and I will assist Sophie until you are finished. Please hurry dear. Poor Sophie hasn’t had a break for quite a while”

I thought to myself neither have I as I smiled back at Mrs Benson “I need to go to the toilet before I return to the desk”

Mrs Benson swept a lock of hair from my face and tucked it behind my left ear and replied “Of course Joanne. Tidy your hair a little whilst you are in the ladies. Your hair is starting to come unclipped”

As Mrs Benson left the office I called mum and as mothers do she could tell by my quivering voice that something was up “ Are you ok baby?” she asked

I quickly told her the events of the day and nearly burst out crying again whilst telling her, however I stopped myself thinking how displeased Mrs Benson would be if I ruined my make up again. My make up? What am I thinking.

When I hung up the phone I took my handbag from my locker and walked to the staff toilets where I nearly walked into the men’s toilets before being told in no uncertain terms by the Chef De Partie “Young lady do you need glasses? The ladies is next door”

I blushed and didn’t reply and ran into the ladies toilet where I had to again go through the hassle of undressing and dressing in a small cubicle just to pee. As I finished I changed my tights for the ones Mrs Benson had given me and pulled my blouse down through my skirt and straightened my slip. I thought to myself what a lot of hassle just to go to the toilet!

I exited the stall and walked over to the mirror and then saw how Mrs Benson had made up my eyes. She had made them up so that they looked larger than they actually were. Mrs Benson was a polished lady and obviously knew how to use cosmetics.

I smiled at my reflection as I clipped a few loose strands of hair back behind my ears, which in doing so accentuated my pierced ears. On a whim I looked in my handbag for my make up bag and pulled it out.

I applied lipgloss to my lips and blusher to my cheeks and then sprayed perfume on my wrists as I had often seen my mother do.

With a final straightening of the bow on my blouse I exited the toilet feeling ten times better. What was happening to me? I shouldn’t be doing this I thought. However at that moment it felt right.

The rest of the afternoon was fairly uneventful and passed fairly quickly.

At just gone 5pm I walked out into the cold air and saw mum sitting in her car with the engine running

“Hi mum” I cheerily greeted her whilst throwing my handbag and the unused waitress uniform and carrier bag on the back seat

“Joanne please don’t throw your bags about” She shouted before adding “Hello dear. How are you feeling now?”

I gracefully tucked my skirt under me as I sat on the passenger seat before swinging my little legs into the car

“Joanne you have learned so much in just two days honey. Even I have trouble thinking of you as anything other than my pretty daughter. You look so right”

“Mum” I groaned but inwardly smiled

After a short drive we were home and I was quickly slipping of my heels and coat

“Jo don’t rush upstairs to your bedroom. Let’s have a cup of tea and a chat,” Mum asked

“Ok mum. But I want to get out of these clothes as soon as possible” I replied whilst taking of my uniform jacket

I sat down on a stool at our breakfast bar and lifted one of my feet and massaged my nyloned toes that were now free of the high heels

Mum laughed “Now you know what we women have to go through Jo in the name of fashion” before adding, “ Your petticoat is showing Jo. That would give Calum a quick thrill” she teased jokingly

“Mother” I screamed back

I don’t know why but at that moment I didn’t feel at all uneasy as I pulled the hem of my tight pencil skirt down over my slip and tucked the skirt underneath me as if it was something I had always done

“Mum is there something wrong with me?” I asked as mum sat on a stool beside me

“Something wrong with you Jo? No, I think you are just coming to terms with who you may be” she said as she told me to turn around to face away from her

“Let me give you a little shoulder massage whilst the kettle is boiling” mum stated “All women love a shoulder or foot massage after a hard day at work” she smiled

As I felt mum’s fingers massage my shoulders through my flimsy blouse, her fingers coming into contact with my bra and slip straps I thought to myself its not all bad being a girl.

It seemed that everyone was accepting me as a girl and I in turn was enjoying the attention. It appeared that I had a few decisions to make as mum unclipped my hair

Chapter 9 to follow shortly

Chapter 9

As mum continued rubbing my shoulders I started to relax and was enjoying the massage when the doorbell rang

“ You stay here Jo. I will get it” mum offered

Wondering who it was I panicked and went and hid behind the kitchen door to listen

“Oh hi Martin” mum said as she answered the door to our next door neighbour.

Martin was nearly 2 years older than me and a month away from his 20th birthday. We occasionally hung out together as we had lived next door to each other for about 10 years, although lately we hadn’t seen that much of each other as he had got a really good job with Marks & Spencer’s as a junior manager in the men’s department of our local store

“Hiya Mrs M. Is Joe about?” he asked mum. He always called mum Mrs M.

“Erm he’s a little busy at the moment Martin” mum replied sounding less than convincing

“Oh right. It’s just that Joe has been asking me to take him to see Ipswich play and I managed to get a spare ticket for tomorrow’s cup game. I was wondering whether he wanted to go otherwise I will let one of my friends have it” Martin stated obviously wondering why I was so busy that I couldn't see him

“Erm ok. Well I don’t know" mum responded sounding like she was flustered "Let me see where he is. Come in love and take a seat in the living room” mum offered

I groaned at mum's invitation and thought to myself how can I get out of this. Martin was a season ticket holder at Ipswich Town football club and although I really had no interest in football Martin had often offered to take me to see my first live game, as he was convinced I would like it.

I had always said no when he had mentioned taking me however last week when Martin asked me for some reason I had replied "yes I would like to go one day"

I liked Martin and thought of him as an older brother. I looked up to him both emotionally and physically. Martin was a lot taller than me at over 6 feet tall. He was very athletic from playing rugby for a local team. He was the total opposite to my small frame really.

Mum came through to the kitchen “ did you hear that?” she asked in a whisper

“Yes thanks very much mum. Why did you ask him in? I can’t see him like this” I said angrily motioning to the clothes I was wearing “ He will think I am a weirdo”

“ So what do I tell him them Joe” mum asked

“ I don’t know. Do anything to get rid of him. Tell him whatever you like” I replied very annoyed and worried

Mum glared at me as if she was annoyed at having to do my dirty work for me and turned to return to the living room and said, “ I am not going to lie for you Joe”

Before I could grab her she was through the door into the living room

“Martin sit down I have something to tell you” mum said obviously offering him a seat “ Joe is too embarrassed to see you at the moment due to the way he is dressed”

“Dressed?” Martin queried

“Yes dressed Martin” mum replied and then for the next few minutes proceeded to tell Martin the whole story of the last two days thankfully missing out some parts like the photo shoot at the mall.

During this time I stood behind the kitchen door listening and quaking in my hosed feet awaiting a response from Martin

After mum had explained why I was so frightened to see him, Martin spoke “ Crikey Mrs M. Is Joe still dressed as a girl?”

“Yes he is. We haven't been in long” she replied

“ Can I see him?” Martin asked

“That’s up to him. Hold on let me see” mum answered before returning to the kitchen

“ Joe he wants to see you” mum stated

“ I do know mother. I have been listening. Why did you have to tell him how I am dressed? He is going to laugh at me and hate me. Thanks a lot mum” I replied tearfully and annoyed.

“Joe he won't laugh at you and he certainly won't hate you” mum tried to soothe me.

Before I had a chance to speak Martin walked through into the kitchen

“Joe is that you" He asked bewildered looking me up and down

“Yes its me” I answered in a timid voice close to tears

“Crikey you look great. You look just like a girl. A good looking girl at that” he said walking towards me.

After a difficult few seconds where no one spoke Martin eventually found his voice “I eh was wondering whether you wanted to go to the football with me tomorrow afternoon’ he asked whilst still checking me out

“WHAT? I replied “ Don’t you think me weird” I said whilst motioning my hands to the clothes I wore

“No you did if for a good cause and you do look cute “ he teasingly replied

At that moment I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I somehow managed to force an embarrassed smile

“ Look why don’t you two go through and get comfy in the living room whilst I make us all a nice cup of tea” mum offered.
Mum's answer to a crisis was always a nice cup of tea!

“ Do you want a cuppa Martin?

Martin responded, "Yes please" as he followed me through to the living room not taking his eyes of me.

I sat on the edge of an armchair across from Martin who sat on the three seater settee opposite. I could feel his eyes boring into me as I sat down naturally smoothing my skirt under me. We didn’t speak for what about 30 seconds before he spoke

“You know you look really pretty Joe. I wouldn’t know you were anything but a girl if your mum hadn’t told me. You look like a younger version of your mum”

I wondered if mum would thank him for that comment and could feel myself go red

“ You even blush like a girl,” he teased

“Don’t tease me Martin. This wasn’t my choice you know,” I pleaded whilst brushing a loose lock of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear, which in doing so probably exposed my dainty earrings.

We spoke for a few minutes. Martin asking me lots of questions about the last two days and my predicament. He was trying his best to put me at ease and wasn't nasty in any way before he cheekily asked “So you coming to the football tomorrow then Joanne?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle “ Martin thanks but I can’t as I won’t be getting my hair cut until Monday and I am sure I would get murdered if I turned up with my hair like this" I gestured to my tamed mop

Just then mum walked in with the teas “ Go as Joanne then” she suggested to Martin’s obvious delight

“Yeah go as my date” he jokingly answered “Go as Joanne”

‘Oh yeah of course I will” I joked back with no intention of going

“Please Joe it took a lot to get this spare ticket. I promise I will look after you” Martin tried to assure me

“I can't even if I wanted too. I haven’t got any other clothes to wear apart from this uniform and I think I would look out of place wearing this” I motioned whilst playing with the bow of my blouse

Mum chirped up “ We can find you something to wear Joe. I’m sure I may have something you can wear or maybe Julia may have something”

Julia was Martin’s mum. She was about 40 and I always thought she was trendy for her age. “I’m not sure mum. It's not right. I don't think so” I protested

Both mum and Martin ganged up and kept on to me until they eventually wore me down “Ok I will go as long as I don’t look stupid and as long as you don’t leave my side Martin”

I had finally given up my resistance just for a quiet life as I was really tired up and thought myself as pathetic as I reached into my blouse and adjusted a bra strap that had fallen from my shoulder

“Great lets see if mum has anything you can wear then girlfriend” Martin enthusiastically answered whilst winking at me

“MARTIN!” I shrieked in a high pitched voice. I instinctively ran across to him and weakly punched him on the arm

Martin thought this highly hilarious and wrestled with me, managing to grab me around my waist. He hoisted me into the air which made my skirt and slip rise up my legs which must have given him a good eyeful of my hosed legs

“MARTIN” I screeched as he playfully and gently threw me on to the settee and then jumped on top of me and pinned me down

I felt totally helpless as he grabbed my wrists with his hands and held my thrashing legs down with his own legs. I tried to escape however I hadn't the strength to lift him off me.

Both mum and Martin were by now laughing hysterically as I blushed and pleaded “Ok I give in Martin. Please let me go”

“Say pretty please Martin’ he taunted

‘No” I sulkingly replied

“Then I will hold you here then” he said as a strand of hair fell across my face. I could feel his breath just inches from my face

“OK pretty please” I screamed

Martin let me go. I was really embarrassed and jumped up from the settee and as I turned to walk away he slapped me on my skirted bottom causing me to turn and yell

“ Martin stop being a bully otherwise I won’t go out with you tomorrow”

GO OUT WITH YOU? Was I now thinking like a girl?

By this time Mum had tears of laughter running down her cheeks and chipped in “come on you two love birds. Let's drink our tea before it gets cold”

Where was this all leading too I wondered as I looked over to Martin who was still looking at me as guys often do when in the company of pretty girls.

Chapter 10

I felt really flustered after Martin had slapped my bottom. I could still feel where he had playfully slapped me through my tight skirt and satin knickers.

There was a silent pause before he piped up “anyway I better be going. I’m off out tonight with friends and need to get ready as my friends are coming around at eight. Do you fancy coming out Joe?” he asked

“Oh yeah, like this?” I screamed again in a high pitch voice

“ Guess not then” he cheekily grinned, “I need to dash. I will have a word with my mum and ask her if she has anything you can wear tomorrow to the footie JoJo”

“Gee thanks a lot Martin,” I sarcastically answered

Martin smiled warmly at me “I will call for you in the morning Joe. Be ready by about 11.30. That way we won't be rushing"

" Bye Mrs M. Thanks for the tea” He yelled out as he turned and made his way to the front door having not touched the mug of tea

“Bye Martin love” mum replied as she walked behind him to the door.

I stood in the middle of the room totally bemused by the events that had occurred. Had Martin asked me to the football as a friend or a date? I was confused to say the least.

Mum returned and teased “well well well. My little girl is going out on her first date”

“MUM DON’T" I protested

“Don’t what” she interrupted “you could have said no if you had wanted to Joe. Instead you ended up flirting with poor Martin”

“POOR MARTIN? I questioned “why poor Martin. He’s not the one going dressed as a daft girl to a football match with thousands of people” I frustratingly exclaimed whilst undoing the neck bow from my blouse

" Daft girl? There will be other daft girls there as well miss” my mother angrily replied “Martin will look after you, you spoilt brat”

I looked at my mum and thought to myself has she lost the plot “ This is madness mother. I am not a woman. I’m going to get changed” I shouted at her as I made my way to the stairs

“ What do you want for dinner Joe” She asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her 17 year old son to be climbing the stairs in a tight skirt that showed off his cute bum and shapely hosed legs whilst carrying his heels in one hand

“Anything” I sulked. I really wasn’t that hungry and didn’t feel like eating.

I was thankful to make the sanctuary of my bedroom, slammed the door shut and threw myself onto my bed. Whilst staring at the ceiling I recalled the events of the last two days and wondered if dad had still been around whether any of this would have happened.

Mum and dad had split up when I was only 2 years old. I therefore never had a father figure around me and at times like these I really missed him even though I didn't know him.

Mum and I had often spoken over the years about my father and although she was entitled to have a lot of animosity towards him she never really showed it. She had told me that he wasn’t ready for happy families and advised me that their trial separation had ended in divorce 18 months after my birth.

She had told me that initially after the separation dad had regularly visited and had often taken me out however this all stopped after about 5 months when he met another woman.

Mum had told me that after a while he then stopped sending her maintenance money and she had therefore been forced to find a job.
I found out in later years that he had apparently moved to Canada to live.

“That bastard” I muttered to myself whilst shedding a few tears “why couldn’t he have been here for mum and me”

I sobbed for about 15 minutes or so feeling desperately sorry for myself before I pulled myself together.

I had to get out of these clothes I thought as I unbuttoned the blouse and pulled it out of the waistband of my skirt and slid it off my shoulders and threw it onto the bed

I pulled the skirt around my waist so that the button was at the front and undid the button and pulled down the zipper before letting the skirt fall to the floor. I stepped out of the skirt and that too was thrown unceremoniously on the bed.

I now stood just in my lingerie “my lingerie?” I puzzled

At that moment my thoughts were interrupted when the front door bell rang. I heard mum answer it but couldn’t make out who it was. After a minute or so she shut the door and shouted up the stairs “Joe our takeaway has arrived. Come down before it gets cold”

I didn’t answer her as I really didn’t fancy eating anything. I sat on the edge of my bed still mulling over the last two days, dad and Martin. Was Martin a replacement father figure? No he couldn’t be. He was only 2 years older than me. I reasoned with myself

Again my mum interrupted my thoughts as she knocked on my bedroom door “ Come on Joe your Chinese is getting cold. It’s on the table”
‘I don’t fancy it mum and anyway I am getting undressed” I sulkingly responded

She came into my room without asking “mum” I protested, “I'm getting changed”

‘So what? Put your dressing gown on and get yourself downstairs now. I paid good money for the takeaway and I am not having you waste it young lady!” She shouted whilst picking up the silk dressing gown I had worn earlier that morning

I knew arguing with her was futile so I grabbed the gown from her and put it on over the full slip, bra, knickers and tights that I still wore.

Mum held her arms out and motioned for me to come to her “I am sorry Joe. You have such a lovely figure baby. Any girl would be pleased to have your body” she tried to convince me as she pulled the thin dressing gown silk cord around my waist before tying it in a big bow

‘Hold on a minute. Lets do something with your hair” She said before leaving the room and returning within no time with some items in her hand

“Sit on the bed darling” she commanded

I sat down on the edge of the bed and unknowingly crossed my legs at the knee and pulled my slip and dressing gown over my legs so as not to expose too much leg.

I think mum noticed this as she smiled and came around to my side and started brushing my hair straight. After a while she gathered my hair at the nape of my neck and tied it into a scrunchie achieving a high curly ponytail on my head. She then wrapped a wide pale pink silk ribbon around the base of the ponytail and created a big bow at the nape of my neck. She finished off by sliding two pink tortoiseshell hair combs either side of my forehead to stop any stray hair from falling into my face.

“Oh you look so cute honey” she said with glee “here let me show you in the mirror”

I followed her into her bedroom and stood in front of her full length wardrobe mirror. What stared back was a pretty teenage girl who looked like she was ready for bed or worse ready for her boyfriend!

My hands went to my hair and in doing so I again noticed my perfectly manicured pink nails which nearly matched the ribbon in my hair. My earrings accentuated my little earlobes. The only thing that spoilt the precious look was my make up that was somewhat disheveled from my earlier crying.

Mum must have guessed my thoughts and proceeded to clean up my face before adding further foundation and blusher. She said we didn't have time to redo my eyes and lips as our food was getting cold.

I followed mum downstairs and although I didn’t think I was hungry I ate a fair bit of the meal that she placed in front of me

Whilst eating I asked mum whether I could wear jeans tomorrow. She replied that she didn’t see any reason why not
That cheered me up no end as I thought she was going to make me wear another skirt

“After we have cleaned away the dishes we can have a look through my wardrobe to see what you can wear” she excitingly exclaimed

Once we had finished the take away I helped mum clear up. She had me wear yellow marigold gloves whilst I washed up
“We don’t want you ruining your soft hands” she advised whilst tucking the lace sleeves of my dressing gown back so they didn't dangle in the washing up water

‘”You know Joe it’s nice having a daughter around. Even if it is only for a short while” she smiled as I washed and she dried the plates
At that moment the doorbell rang again “what is it with that bloody door tonight” I thought to myself.

Mum dried her hands and went to answer the door.

Within seconds she returned and Aunt Julia from next door walked in the kitchen behind her. I had always called her Aunt Julia and her husband David, Uncle David

“Oh my god, oh my god” she shouted as she first saw me “ GOOD GOD! Martin said you looked good. He didn’t say just how good. Crikey you look stunning sweetie” she excitingly exclaimed as she embraced me in a big hug

‘Erm thanks Aunt Julia” I replied hot and bothered

“Look at you blushing like a virgin bride” she joked. All these years later I still remember her muttering those exact words and still laugh at that comment of hers.

She fussed around me whilst I finished the last of the dishes. Whilst we finished cleaning up mum told her about everything that had happened including our visit to the photographers.

‘So anyway what are you going to wear tomorrow then Joe” Aunt Julia asked as we sat down in the living room

“Hey Claire look at him. He even tucks his skirt under him when sitting” she screamed in noticing me tuck my slip and dressing gown under me when I sat in the armchair "isn't he precious"

I kept my legs together and leant forward to speak “ I don’t know Aunt Julia. Mum said that I could wear jeans” I nonchantly answered

‘JEANS? You can’t wear jeans with legs like those. You need to show off your legs honey” she enthused “ what size shoes do you take” she asked

“Erm size 5 why?” I questioned

“Great. I will be back in a few moments” Julia replied whilst exiting the room. ‘Claire come with me. I have a great outfit for Joanne to wear to the football. Come and help me”

I was left to ponder my destiny as Aunt Julia and Mum left to go next door

I went upstairs to my room and wondered what mum and Julia were up to next door. Within about 15 minutes they returned and mum shouted “Joe where are you?”

‘In my bedroom mum” I answered

Within seconds both mum and Julia barged there way through into my room without asking. So much for my privacy I thought

“Right try these on honey” Aunt Julia asked whilst holding up a pair of black leather boots “Come on sit on your bed and put your left leg up” she demanded whilst pushing me backwards onto the bed.

I did as I was asked and within a couple of minutes I was wearing a pair of black leather boots that finished just below my knees “right stand up princess” Aunt Julia commanded

I stumbled to my feet and straight away noticed that I had gained in height “how high are these heels?” I motioned to the thin spiked heels of the boots

“4 inches I think’ Julia answered “ Oh they look great on you Joanne. You have stunning legs you lucky girl!”

I blushed and protested, “I can’t wear these. I will break my leg”

“Don’t be silly Joanne. Julia has been kind enough to loan these to you. You can wear them. You will be closer in height to Martin then” she teased

‘Right footwear sorted. Slip them off honey” Aunt Julia asked “ let's see if this outfit fits you ok

For the next 15 minutes or so mum and Julia dressed me in the clothes they suggested I wear to the football. So much for jeans! The outfit consisted of a fitted black woolen pinafore shift dress. The hem came to approx 4” above my knees. Under the sleeveless dress they made me wear a long sleeved royal blue satin blouse.

The blouse had a Peter Pan collar and buttoned at the back. It had intricate lace detail at the collar and sleeves.

Aunt Julia was an Ipswich Town fan and told me that it was a colour close to the Ipswich strip and told me that she had worn it once before when she had gone to a game.

The pinafore dress zipped up the back. The peter pan collar of the blouse overlaid the round neck of the dress and the tight fitting form of the dress accentuated my false bust.

Aunt Julia asked me to take off my navy work tights. After taking off the tights I appreciated the freedom of bare legs after wearing tights all day long, however this was short lived as Aunt Julia waved a pair of nearly black seamed tights before me.

She assisted me in pulling the tights on my legs and advised me that I was to check that the seams were straight at the back of my legs. After a lot of messing about she exclaimed that the seams looked great before again helping me on with the boots and zipping them up.

As I stood again teetering on the high heeled boots, mum and Aunt Julia fussed over me by first pulling my skirt up and pulling the blouse and my slip down so that they didn’t bunch up underneath the dress. As mum pulled down the satin slip she advised that I would need to wear a full slip otherwise the woolen pinafore dress wouldn’t sit right and told me that the hem would keep hiking up.

That was the last thing I wanted to happen and therefore reluctantly agreed that I needed to wear a slip if I had to wear the stupid dress.

Aunt Julia put a wide black leather belt around my waist and pulled my waist in until I thought I would snap.

‘Aunt Julia that’s too tight” I cried out

“Don’t be a baby it’s only a belt” she admonished me “your figure looks great Joe. Martin will have a job keeping all the men away from you tomorrow” She laughed

Julia tapped me on the shoulder “Oh that reminds me. Martin told me to tell you that you will be meeting a few of his friends in the pub before the game and that you may have met some of them before as Joe”

“Oh great. I’m not going then” I screamed

“Of course you are going” mum shouted back “stop being a silly girl. No one will recognize you as Joanne will they” she reasoned

‘Of course they won’t” reassured Aunt Julia “however to be on the safe side I think you should choose another name other then Joanne. It’s too similar to Joe although you may get away with it”

“GET AWAY WITH IT. I WILL BE MURDERED” I cried close to tears

“ Stop being silly and calm down Joanne" mum shook me

"Look to be on the safe side lets choose another name for you’ mum said again fussing with the ribbon of my ponytail

“What do you want to be called” Aunt Julia smiled “any ideas?”

“ No I have changed my mind. I am not going” I screamed

“Yes you are going missy. Stop acting like a spoilt brat” mum shouted at me “You have agreed to go and you are not going to let Martin down. That ticket must have cost him a lot of money so you will go ”

I became all teary eyed and pleaded with mum however I knew it was to no avail

“ Look I am fed up with your whining Joanne. You are going end of story” mum cut me off before grabbing hold off me and giving me a big hug

“I know its difficult baby, however I know what’s best for you and you will really enjoy tomorrow” she said whilst wiping away my tears with her fingers.

She continued to hug me tight and at that moment a lot of my fears subsided as mum and I had a mother/daughter moment whilst Aunt Julia looked on

“ Claire what was Joe going to be called if he was born a girl” Aunt Julia asked

“ Lucy Jane why?” Mum asked before it dawned on her why Julia was asking

“That’s it then. You will be Lucy Jane tomorrow" Julia gushed

"Why didn’t I think of that” mum beamed at me and Aunt Julia

By now it was getting quite late. Aunt Julia advised me that she wanted to paint my fingernails with a blue nail polish to match my blouse and further added that she had a great idea for my hair although I would need to sleep on curlers

Oh great I thought. Another night of sleeping on curlers. Just what I needed.

End of chapter 10 - Chapter 11 to follow soon.

Chapter 11

I was woken from a deep sleep by my mum calling my name “Joe time to get up honey” she whispered whilst gently shaking my shoulder

“ What time is it mum?” I asked with a dry voice trying to focus

“Nearly 8. Come on sleepyhead we need to get a move on. Martin will be here for you at 11.30” she told me

‘God Mum its Sunday. Can’t I lie in?” I turned my head on my pillow and felt a sharp stab in my head as I realised I was again wearing a head full of rollers

“Shit that hurt” I cussed whilst lifting a hand to my roller covered head encased in a net ‘I have a splitting headache”

Mum berated me “Don't swear Joe. It's not clever. Your head hurting may have something to do with the two large glasses of wine you had last night rather than the curlers”

“I drunk wine? I don’t like wine” I questioned mum

“Well you seemed to like it last night when Julia brought around a bottle. You both finished the bottle on your own whilst she rolled your hair and did your nails” mum laughed “come on get up sweetie”

I lifted one of my hands to my face and noticed that my fingernails had been painted with a metallic silvery blue colour. I also noticed that Julia had shaped my nails to more of a point. They looked good but alarmingly very feminine

Mum left the room and I turned over and drifted back off to sleep

“Joe come on get up. Here take two Nurofen for your headache” In a sleepy haze I could make out mum offering me a glass of water and the tablets

I pulled myself up in the bed and leant against my headboard. I realised that I was again wearing the silk nightgown “Thanks mum” I took the tablets and sat upright trying to remember the night before

Mum was looking at me with a big smile on her face “What’s so funny” I asked

“Nothing” mum exclaimed seemed sheepish and turned to walk away “right I am going to run you a bath young lady. Hurry up now” she said impatiently

Groan - Young lady! Not wanting to upset her further I got out of bed when I heard the bath water running.

Walking into the bathroom I found mum pouring bubble bath into the steaming hot water. I stretched and looked in the bathroom mirror as I did every morning “MUM WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MY FACE?” I screamed

Mum turned around to face me ‘what honey?” She asked in all innocence

“WHAT? WHAT? Look at my eyebrows” I trembled “what’s happened to them"

“Oh them. Julia and I cleaned them up a little last night and I guess we got a little carried away” she told me as I looked closely at what was left of my eyebrows

I was now sporting two fine arches that gave my face a very feminine look “what am I going to do when I go back to work? Everyone will notice them”

‘ Oh pish” mum brushed away my fears “no one will even notice Joe. Now come on get in the bath. We need to get a move on if you are going to be ready for Martin in time”

Mum left the bathroom and I locked the door behind me as I always did. I slipped off the nightdress and knickers and jumped into the bath as mum shouted through the door “Joe make sure you put the shower cap on over your curlers. That way your hair won't get wet”

“Yes mother” I sarcastically replied whilst still fretting over the shape of my eyebrows

The hot bubble bath was bliss. The smell of the lavender salts and the tablets resulted in my headache nearly disappearing by the time I got out 15 minutes later.

I toweled my hairless body dry with the big fluffy bath towel and slipped on the nightdress and put the knickers I had worn in the laundry basket.

After brushing my teeth I returned to my room and on the bed found what mum and Julia were expecting me to wear to the match.

As I took in the clothes before me mum entered my room. So much for privacy I thought.

“Right let’s get started” mum exclaimed, “here put these on first” she said whilst dangling a pair of black silky knickers in front of me.

I did as I was told pulling the knickers up my legs under the nightdress whilst turning away from my mum. I tucked my little boy under me to create a flattish front

Mum told me to take off the nightdress and had me hold my arms out. She then placed a matching underwired black bra on me, which she hooked up the back. She straightened the straps over my shoulders before placing two water filled balloons in each of the lacy cups

‘Oh isn't it a pretty bra Joe” mum said whilst adjusting the straps

When she had finished she told me to sit on the edge of my bed. In doing so I again noticed how girly my toenails looked painted pink. Mum then helped me pull the pair of seamed tights up my legs and straightened them so that the seams ran in a perfect vertical line down the back of my legs.

When she had finished I looked down at my legs as mum gushed “God you have such great legs Joe. These tights really show them off” referring to the nearly black sheer tights that adorned my slim legs

I embarrassingly replied “thanks a lot mum”

Mum smiled and then told me to slip on a full length black slip. The bodice of the satin slip was covered in intricate lace, as was the hem that came to just above the knee on me. Mum again adjusted the straps on the slip and then stood back and smiling at me said

“It's a good job Martin doesn't know what you are wearing under your dress. I am sure he wouldn’t be bothered watching the football darling” she laughed to herself

At that moment my emotions took over and the reality of going out with Martin as a girl dawned on me! “MUM I CAN’T DO THIS” I cried

“Oh here we go again” she replied, “I am not having this. You can do it and you will. Martin won’t be able to sell the ticket now and he is expecting you to go with him. So less of your complaining. Slip on your dressing gown and come downstairs and we can have a cup of tea and some toast”

Mum left my room and without arguing I slipped on the dressing gown that I had discarded on my bed and followed mum downstairs to the kitchen

Over tea and toast mum told me that Julia wanted me next door at her house at 10.30 to do my hair and make up. It was now 9.45am and I wondered what else there was to do.

Mum told me that she had to finish getting me dressed and perhaps we might be able to get around to Julia’s earlier to give her more time.
Oh great I groaned under my breath

Once back in my bedroom I slipped off the dressing gown as mum had instructed and stood in the middle of the room as my mum slipped the sleeves of a royal blue satin blouse up my arms. She then buttoned the 15 or so small buttons up the back until the Peter Pan collar encased my neck. After doing up the two buttons at each wrist she stood back and proudly said

“Oh I know I keep saying it but you look lovely baby. The colour of this blouse really suits you and brings out the colour of your eyes”

Mum didn’t let up as she told me to step into the black sleeveless pinafore dress before she did up the back zipper and hooked the eye of the collar at the neck of the dress. She then pulled the collar of the blouse over the collar of the round neck of the dress.

“The blue contrasts so well with the black of the dress” she said excitedly whilst pulling the skirt of the dress up and in turn pulling down the hem of my blouse and slip.

She finished by wrapping a wide black and gold metallic belt around my waist

“ Mum can I look” I asked as she fussed with the billowing sleeves of my blouse

“Not yet Joe. Lets get your boots on you first” she replied

Within a few minutes the boots had been zipped up my legs and I was walking through to my mothers bedroom trying not to stumble on the high heels. I felt really tall however in truth although the slim heels of the boots were 4” high I still only reached about 5’7

The boots were lovely. Even I had to admit that. They had really pointy toes and extremely thin spiked heels. The top of the boots reached approx 2” below my knees and after wearing them for the best part of the night before, I was amazed at how comfortable they were. Little did I know that I wouldn't be saying that later that day.

As I looked in my mother’s bedroom mirror I was shocked to see my reflection. I saw a pretty teenage girl staring back at me. Although I still wore curlers in my hair and hadn’t any make up I thought I looked amazing.

My shapely hosed legs peeked out between the hem of the woolen dress and the top of my boots. Mum told me to do a pirouette and when I did the hem of my dress flipped out a bit exposing my shapely hosed legs further.

Mum came up to me and fussed with me, plucking my clothes here and there as I continued to stare opened mouthed in the mirror.

"Jo close your mouth girl. It's hardly becoming" mum told me off before adding that she had a couple of more things she wanted to add.

She went to her jewelry box on her vanity and returned with a number of items, which she then proceeded to place on me.

First was a dainty gold Gucci watch that she jokingly warned me to guard with my life otherwise I wasn’t to return home. The watch had a small white face and a thin gold bangle strap.

Then she had me put a number of really thin gold bangles on my other wrist. The bangles were intertwined with each other and they jangled when I moved my arm.

Mum secured a really lovely gold Tiffany heart necklace around my neck and again told me to make sure I didn’t lose it. As instructed I tucked the necklace beneath my blouse so that it dangled in my make believe cleavage thinking what's the point in wearing it if know one can see it

As I had hidden the Tiffany necklace beneath my clothes mum said there was something missing “You need something else to hang around your neck”

She found a gold necklace that matched the bracelet I was wearing and when she put it on me it sat upon my chest reaching down to my cleavage. MY CLEAVAGE? . Was I Joe anymore or was Joanne taking over I worried.

Mum placed three rings on my fingers. A gold eternity ring on my right hand. She told me that my Nan had given her it when she had reached 21. Again I was told to guard it with my life and this time the warning was serious.

She also had me put on a single small gold band and an imitation sapphire ring with a small stone. My varnished fingers looked quite pretty adorned in the jewellery.

Mum I can’t wear this jewellery. I am not used to wearing it. What if I lose it?” I asked

“Why should you lose it? Do you intend losing your dress or bra? Your not used to wearing them however I can’t see you losing either of those” she joked

“Two more things we need to do before we go next door” mum said whilst asking me to sit at her vanity

"We shouldn’t really be taking out the stud earrings as they should be in for a lot longer to enable the holes to heal, however I don’t think the studs suit the overall look” she explained whilst taking out the gold stud earrings that I wore ‘Here lets put these in”

She showed me two circular gold earrings approx the size of bath plugs and put them in my pierced ears. Straight away I could feel the weight on my ears as the hoops pulled my earlobes down

“ AGH MUM they hurt,” I cried whilst rubbing my ears

Mum slapped my hand away from my ear “Oh don’t be a baby Joanne, they are only a pair of earrings. They are hardly going to hurt you”

I knew it was pointless protesting as I hadn’t won an argument to date over the way I was dressed

“Right little lady lets spray a little perfume of you,” she grinned as she sprayed Estee Lauder Knowing behind my knees, on my wrists and at my neck. I felt that I was awash with it as the smell permeated my senses

“Not too much mum. I will smell like a tart,” I protested

Mother laughed at my comment whilst routing through her wardrobe for something “here it is” she exclaimed holding up a black wool coat

‘Try it on to see if it fits you ok” she said whilst offering my arms into the long coat

When she had it on me she buttoned up the 4 large buttons at the front and tied the wide wool belt of the coat into a large bow at my waist.

‘Look in the mirror Joanne” she gestured to the mirror

I looked in the mirror and noticed that the coat reached the top of my boots however it flared out somewhat at the waist creating a large skirt at my waist. It was so luxurious. I knew it would keep me warm whilst at the football.

“ You look too good to be going to a football game Joe. I hope Martin appreciates the effort we have gone too” mum kissed me on the forehead whilst fussing over the coat

“ I have a scarf to go with that coat’ she excitedly exclaimed whilst again looking in her wardrobe.

Mum found a paisley patterned silk scarf, which she proceeded to loosely tie around my neck so that it draped down between the lapels of the coat

‘Right darling lets find you a handbag and then we are pretty much ready to go and see Julia” she said beaming. I wondered who was more excited about me going to the football - her or me?

As I was getting quite warm I took the scarf and coat off whilst I waited for mum to find a handbag. I sat at her vanity watching her as she put a number of items in the black leather bag, which had black and gold metal straps.

When she gave me the bag I looked inside and found I saw a packet of tights, a small bag of tissues, a hairbrush, a small make up bag, perfume, hair pins, wet ones, a purse and to my horror some sanitary pads and tampons.

“Mother” I screeched as I threw the bag down on her bed “I don’t think I will be needing those do you”

She picked the bag back and laughed as she handed it back to me, “ I know you won’t silly, but girls notice these things. You don’t want anyone questioning you do you Joanne,” she asked

Mum told me to hang the leather bag over my shoulder. The weight of the bag surprised me, as it was heavy. “Why do women have to carry so much stuff" I moaned

“In case of little emergencies love” she replied whilst giving me a big squeeze, “right let’s get next door so Julia can work her magic”

Without putting the coat back on we went next door to Julia’s. She answered the door and as soon as she saw me she started gushing

” Lucy you look fabulous. Come in babe. Claire she looks really good. Don't the dress and boots suit her ”?

She? Her? Julia and mum fussed over me as I worried where Martin was.

“Ok sweetie" Julia took my hand leading me through to her large kitchen" Lets get started before Martin gets back from his friends” Julia stated in doing so answering my question

“ You know Claire you have done marvels with our little one here ” Julia excitedly exclaimed “She is going to be a knockout when I have finished with her”

Her? She? Lucy? Whose Lucy — Oh Lucy! That’s me! This was happening to fast I thought

Julia sat me down in a chair in her kitchen and untied the hairnet from my curler covered head. She then started taking out the small curlers from my hair whilst chatting away to mum as if I wasn’t there, although I was the only topic of conversation

After all of the curlers had been removed from my head Julia started styling my hair using a number of clips, hair combs and a lot of hairspray. This continued for about 20 minutes until she exclaimed “and now for your crowning glory honey bun”

I was unaware what she was doing at the back of my hair however I felt her tugging away

After a final flourish of more hairspray she pronounced “ta dah”

Both Mum and Julia gushingly said that I looked precious and cute and when I asked to have a look in the mirror I was sternly told by Julia “not until I have done your make up babe”

I thought Aunt Julia was a wiz with make up as I always thought she always looked pretty. I wondered how I would look once she had finished making me up.

As I sat there with my knees gripped tightly together with my skirt raised to my thighs showing too much expanse of my legs for my liking I tried to guess what she was putting on my face

I had had enough experience over the last two days to guess that she was applying foundation, concealer (to a little spot I had on my chin), blusher, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick and lipgloss.

Julia finished by clamping a contraption on my upper and lower eyelashes, which I was told was an eyelash curler.

She then had me bite onto a tissue and said, "it was stop my lipgloss from bleeding" God forbid can't have that can we I sulkingly thought to myself

My senses were working overtime as I smelt the concoctions of perfume and hairspray, the smell and taste of the cherry flavour lipgloss I wore and the pull of the clothes I wore about my body.

As Julia was finishing up I heard the front door open and then close and Martin shout out “I’m home. Is it safe to come in”?

“NOOOOOOOO” screeched Julia and mum almost as one before Julia shouted, “ Keep out. We are just finishing up, stay out of the kitchen”

“ OK OK, crikey keep your hair on,” joked Martin the other side of the kitchen door

“ Claire go and get Lucy’s coat whilst I keep Lucy hidden in here” Julia requested

Mum left the kitchen and in passing Martin in the living room said to him “treat her well Martin. She is very nervous and needs you to look after her today”

Martin somewhat puzzled answered “ her? yeah of course Mrs M" before I heard him run up the stairs

I cringed at their short conversation and felt myself blush with embarrassment

Mum returned with the coat and Julia told me “quick go and have a look in the mirror in the hallway. Before Martin comes back down”

I was dying to know how I looked and didn’t need asking twice as I made my way to the hallway

As I looked in the mirror at the pretty girl that looked back at me I didn’t recognise myself. My eyes had been made up with dark blues and greys with a hint of pink, my cheeks glowed a cherry red as did my wet look lips. The blusher Julia had applied accentuated my cheekbones.

I looked at my hair that was in a mass of curls. My hair was stunning and the crowning glory that Julia had referred too was a blue and white ribbon intertwined at the back of my hair creating a bow.

The hair and make up made me look at least 4 years older than my actual age. As I stood there in stunned silence looking at my feminine reflection Martin came down the stairs and stopped when he saw me

‘MARTIN” I jumped

Joe, er Lucy? Is that you?” He asked in complete shock

Chapter 12

I nervously looked down at my feet overcome with embarrassment as I felt Martin’s eyes bore into me before he finally spoke “you know you look great. Mum told me that I was to call you Lucy today. Are you ok with that?” He asked trying to put me at ease

“Eh yeah I guess so” I replied whilst still looking down shyly

“Look I know this is strange,” he added taking one of my hands in his “but lets not be shy around each other. We have known each other for years and I promise you I will look after you today”

I found the courage to look at him and managed to speak “thanks Martin. I will need all your help to get through today”

‘Get through this? You look wonderful. Look you are even wearing Ipswich's colours in your outfit” he replied whilst pointing at the blue blouse that I wore before adding, “look you even have blue fingernails. What a star Lucy”

I smiled without responding and pulled my hand away from his and took in what Martin was wearing. He had on blue jeans and a black crew neck sweater. He too looked good although underdressed compared to me

‘Do you think your mum and my mum have overdone how I look seeing as we are only going to the football” I squeaked whilst gesturing at the clothes I wore “it’s a bit too much for football isn’t it”

“No not at all. It makes a change for a girl to actually look like a girl” Martin replied before realising his mistake and with a huge grin said “sorry Joe. It’s just that you look so much like a girl and not at all like a boy”

I smiled back at his faux par and without thinking instinctively tugged the hem of my dress down whilst looking at myself in the mirror

A deadly silence ensued as Martin continued looking at me before he broke the silence by saying

“Anyway we better get a move on Joe if we are to get a drink in the pub before the match starts”

“Martin call me Lucy. Please don’t call me Joe in case I get found out” I pleaded before adding “THE PUB? I can’t go in a pub dressed like this”

“Why not? Martin replied, “Your going to a football match dressed like that aren’t you? You will have fun I promise you. I will look after you Luce,” he said whilst cheekingly smiling at me

I was about to ask him who we would be meeting and whether there was anyone there who knew me as Joe but before I had the chance to speak Julia walked out into the hallway and interrupted us

“Oh there you are. Your mum and I thought you had got lost” she laughed at her own joke

She turned to Martin with a big smile on her face “Doesn’t she look lovely Martin? Look at the effort she has gone to for you” I cringed at her comments

Julia again started fussing with my hair and the bow at the back “look Martin, Lucy is even wearing a hair bow in Ipswich’s colours. I hope you appreciate her efforts”

Martin grinned, smiled at me and replied, “She looks great mum”

I nervously smiled at the both of them and didn’t know what to do at that point. Martin rescued the situation “ok you ready?” He asked me whilst lifting his jacket from the staircase banister and putting it on

“Err yeah I guess so” I answered nervously.

Julia stepped in “come on lets get your coat and scarf. You can’t go out like that” she beckoned to my clothes “you will catch your death of cold sweetie” she grabbed my hand and led me back to the kitchen where mum was making coffee

What was it with people grabbing my hand? I wasn't nine!

Mum smiled and turned to Martin who had followed Julia and me into the kitchen “You will look after him won’t you Martin? He hasn’t been to a football game before and I don’t want him getting into any trouble Martin”

‘Him?” Julia butted in “does Lucy look like a him Claire?” She turned away from mum and turning to Martin she said, “ You make sure that you look after young Lucy. Don’t you dare leave her alone and make sure you hold her hand at all times Martin”

“Yes mum” he sarcastically replied

“ I mean it Martin. Treat her well. If I hear that you didn’t look after her there will be hell to pay. Do you hear?”

She was giving Martin a hard time. I giggled and spoke “Aunt Julia. I can look after myself you know”

Mum piped in “ You may think you can Lucy Jane but let me tell you there are plenty of men who take liberties with girls your age”

I felt myself go red “mum I will be fine. Martin and I have been out plenty of times” and before I could finish my protestations mum piped in
“NOT DRESSED LIKE THAT LUCY!”

I again felt myself blush as Julia held out the black coat I was to wear. I reversed into it and Julia did up the buttons and tied the wide belt about my waist.

Mum then put the scarf around my neck and tied it so that it again hung down between the lapels of the coat.

“Here I found these” mum said as she started to put black woolen gloves on my hands

“MUM” I protested, “ I’m going to be roasting”

Julia answered, “No you won’t Lucy. Its freezing out and you need to wrap up”

‘Yes Aunt Julia” I meekly replied. Although I often questioned mum I had never once dare argue with Julia.

Mum handed me the handbag and told me to look after it. I slipped it on my shoulder and turned to Martin who was waiting patiently for me ‘I guess I am ready” I smiled

‘”About time” he teased, “you women take forever to get ready”

I playfully slapped him on the arm as mum and Julia did some last minute fussing before each of them kissed me on the cheek. Julia then used her fingers to smooth out my cheek where they had kissed me

‘ Ok you two. Have fun and Martin remember what I have told you “Julia threatened her youngest son

‘What was that mum?” Martin replied cheekily

I thought that was funny and chuckled before Julia added in a stern voice, “I mean it Lucy. Let me know if he doesn’t look after you”

I knew when to be sensible and answered, “I will Aunt Julia although I am sure Martin will be fine”

Both mum and Aunt Julia continued to fuss as we exited through the front door. As we were walking down the path to Martin’s car I noticed the sound of my heels making a noise on the pavement and glanced over my shoulder to see Julia and mum still standing at the front door seeing us off

“Crikey Lucy Jane. You better give me a good report later” Martin joked whilst taking my hand in his

‘You don’t have to do that you know” I told him pulling my hand away

‘”I know. But I want too if you are ok with it” Martin sheepishly replied

I smiled back and answered “ok I guess I am fine with it” as I again let him take my hand. At that point I felt a little knot in my stomach

As we got to Martin’s little car he acted like the perfect gentleman and opened the front passenger door for me.

Remembering mums lessons I sat down on the seat whilst smoothing my skirts beneath me before sliding my legs into the foot well of Martin’s Ford Fiesta. Even though I had taken care whilst getting in the car I still managed to give Martin a little view of my hosed legs as my coat and skirt rode up my thighs

Martin shut the door behind me whilst smiling like a cat that had got the cream. As he made his way around to the driver’s side I pulled the skirt of my dress down to cover the lacy hem of my slip. I arranged the coat under me as Martin got in the car

I went to reach for my seatbelt when Martin leant over me “here allow me” he said and reached over me to pull the seat belt over me before securing it into the catch

“Thanks” I smiled “you know you don’t have to try so hard Martin. I’m not a real date’

“Mores the pity” Martin grinned, “ Seeing as I saw what you are wearing under your skirt”

‘What?” I embarrassingly asked whilst clutching my handbag in my lap

“Your slip” he looked at me with a big grin “ I caught a peek of your lacy slip under your skirt when you got in Lulu”

“MARTIN” I screamed thinking to myself where was all of this leading

End of chapter 12 - More to follow soon

Chapters 13 - 14

As we drove to meet with Martin’s friends at the pub I became more and more nervous of what was in front of me. Martin sensed by my quietness that I was nervous and broke the ice

“ You look great Lucy. I am so glad you decided to come today. You will love the atmosphere of a live game”

I looked across to him "It’s not the game I am worried about Martin. It’s how I am dressed. I feel so stupid in these clothes and the thought of being surrounded by loads of people scares the life out of me,” I blushed not keeping eye contact with Martin whilst playing with the hem of my skirt

“Lucy you have nothing to worry about. You look great. My friends will love you and probably fancy you too” Martin tried to reassure me “ Scouts honour, I promise I will look after you”

I truly believed Martin however this still didn’t stop me worrying as we continued our journey to the pub.

We had to park a fair distance from the pub, which I also found out later was a fair distance from the ground.

As I exited Martin’s car being careful to keep my legs together as Martin offered me his hand, a surge of nervousness came over me and my legs nearly buckled under me. Martin caught me as I started to sway and put a reassuring arm around my waist

We were now very close to each other and Martin pulled me to him so we stood face to face. Well not actually face to face as Martin still looked down on me despite the high heeled boots I wore.

Without warning he held me tight and planted a quick kiss on my lips. There was an awkward silence as we both continued to stand opposite each other in a close clinch

“ What did you do that for?” I squeaked, my mouth feeling very dry

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me” Martin apologised embarrassed “ I just had a tremendous urge to kiss you as you look and smell so sweet, I’m so sorry”

“It’s ok” I interrupted and admitted, “I enjoyed it although I do feel strange”

“ Really? Me too” Martin replied sheepishly looking deep into my eyes

“Anyway we better get a move on otherwise we will miss everyone at the pub” Martin smiled as we broke apart as he turned to walk down the street pulling me along with by the hand.

I struggled to keep up with Martin whilst teetering on my boots and whilst trying to keep the handbag on my shoulder.

As we walked to the pub we made small talk and I sensed Martin being protective towards me and silly to say I also thought he was proud to be with me. I continued to struggle to keep up with his strides in the heels and tight skirt.

My mind was in a whirl, as I couldn’t get the kiss out of my head. I hated myself for enjoying it so much and I had a lovely warm tingly feeling inside even though the cold chill made me shiver.

Martin sensed me shiver and this only made him more protective as he put his arm around my waist as he pulled me to into him as we continued to walk.

Although the walk had taken us a good 10 minutes the time flew by and although my feet were already hurting in the tight restricting boots I wished we could have continued walking and bypassed the pub and Martin's mates altogether.

I didn't understand the feelings I was experiencing however I was enjoying our time together alone and at that point in time I felt like we were the only two people in the world even though by this time there were hundreds of people milling around the streets the closer we got to the ground and found ourselves outside the pub.

“Here we are Luce” Martin smiled as we parted for the first time since leaving the car “lets find everyone”

We walked into the packed noisy pub and I immediately felt male eyes turning towards me and evaluating the “girl” who had just walked in with her boyfriend. Martin grabbed my hand securely and pulled me through the packed pub, which meant us passing through groups of guys young and old. I realised at this point that I was the only ‘girl” in the pub.

We struggled through the throng of men to the far end of the pub where we found Martin’s friends sitting around a table. One of Martin’s friends got up from his seat and greeted Martin with a big hug as I stood alone nervously smiling at no one in particular.

“ Sit down here” said a young girl whose age I would guess was around 24. She patted the seat beside her that had been vacated by Martin’s friend “Hi, my names Caroline. Martin said he was bringing a neigbour along today although he didn’t tell us you were female,” she laughed

I nervously blushed and shook her hand with a weak sloppy shake “ Didn’t he? Guys eh. My names Lucy, I’m Martin’s neighbour's niece” I answered

I lost track of the next minute or so as I was introduced to everyone else sitting around the table. Caroline was with Paul who was apparently Martin’s best friend. Two others guys were introduced to me as Andy and Steve.

Martin asked me what I wanted to drink and having never drunk alcohol before I didn’t know what to answer “ Have a glass of wine with me” Caroline suggested.

I really wanted a soft drink as my mouth was dry and I had a thirst however I didn't want to upset Caroline

“Ok thanks” I croaked whilst smiling back at Martin and Caroline. Martin mischievously winked at me as he went off to the bar with the three lads leaving Caroline and me alone in the crowded noisy pub.

As I sat down next to Caroline I pulled off my gloves and undid the buttons to my coat as I suddenly felt very hot

“Take off your coat Lucy. You will melt in here,” Caroline suggested

“Eh ok” I mumbled shyly as I did as she had suggested. Instantly feeling better as I hung the heavy coat, gloves and my scarf over the arm of the seat

“Lovely dress Lucy. A little overdressed for footie though” Caroline smiled whilst considering what I was wearing, “you are showing me up”

I looked at Caroline and saw that she was wearing tight jeans and a tight jumper that showed off her great figure. Although she looked really lovely she obviously hadn’t gone to the effort that my Mum and Aunt Julia had in dressing me.

“Oh yeah I guess I am overdressed. I haven’t been to a football game before and I didn’t know what to wear” I replied as I again fidgeted with the hem of my skirt beginning to feel foolish.

“Don’t worry you do look lovely, however next time just sling on a pair of jeans otherwise you will have all these Neanderthals perving you” she replied whilst looking to all the men in the pub.

I noticed a number of guys looking our way and felt very vulnerable “ yeah guess you are right” I nervously replied whilst swallowing hard.

Caroline and I chatted away as the guys seemed to take an age to get our drinks. We got on like a house on fire and I think she liked me. I think she was pleased to have female company.

Caroline complimented me on my hoop earrings, and leather boots and also said “ I love the way your hair bow, blouse and nail varnish are all in the colour of Ipswich. I bet Martin loves that” she joked “ are your undies the same colour?” She teased.

I blushed at her joke and replied “ maybe but he’s not going to find out" which Caroline thought highly hilarious

Martin eventually returned with our drinks “ You ok Lulu?" he asked me with genuine concern "Is Caroline looking after you?” He asked whilst touching my shoulder in a reassuring way.

I didn't have a chance to answer as Caroline did so for me “Yeah she’s fine and yes I am looking after her unlike you ignorant sods” I had to laugh at Martin being put in his place

Martin laughed back and retreated back to his friends at the bar. I didn’t see him again until we were due to set off to the ground.

Whilst we sat together Caroline questioned me on whether Martin and I were going steady to which I replied that this was our first date.

“Really and probably the last seeing as he has left you alone with me since you got here” she joked.

“Oh I don’t mind," I answered, "As long as I have your company. I would hate to be left alone in here” I shouted above the din of the pub whilst looking at the masses of testosterone around me.

“ Normally Paul doesn’t leave me alone in here however seeing as I have another girl to talk to he probably thinks its fine as we can talk about clothes and periods” she joked.

‘Yeah guess so” was all I could think of to say whilst no doubt going bright red.

Over the next 45 minutes or so I slowly sipped the dry white wine Martin had been bought me and found out quite a lot about Caroline. I found out amongst other things, that she worked in a bank as a cashier, that she and Paul were getting married in just over two weeks time and that over the last six months she had been experiencing heavy periods.

I cringed as Caroline told me some of her inner most menstruation secrets and with her probing me I had to create a life for Lucy.

I told Caroline that I was temporarily living with my Aunt Claire as my parents had recently emigrated to Spain. I told her that I had decided to stay behind as I had recently started a job as a receptionist at a local hotel. I told her that I liked Martin however I didn’t know whether I fancied him yet and somehow I got around to telling her that my periods were fine and regular and that I was still a virgin.

Caroline found the last piece of information highly hilarious and exclaimed “ We will have to get you laid Luce. You don’t know what you are missing girl”

I didn’t no how to respond and instead went very hot as she spoke “Sorry Lucy. You are so sweet and innocent. I didn’t mean to embarrass you”

Before I could reply the Neanderthals returned and said we would need to get a move on to enable us to get to the ground before the match started.

Caroline was not being rushed “Hold on boys I have to go to the ladies before we go. Come on Lucy. The toilets in the stadium are awful”

Caroline grabbed her handbag and my hand and gestured to the ladies toilets that were directly behind her. I followed suit and grabbed my bag and followed her through a group of men who shouted a few lewd obscenities as we passed through them.

I felt a hand touch my bum as we walked through the group. I felt abused and at that moment wondered how often this kind of thing happened to women. Maybe it was a daily occurrence

As we entered the sanctuary of the ladies toilets I realised just how clean and quiet it was. I realised that we were the only ones in there

“There are some right dickheads about Lucy” Caroline angrily stated when I told her about someone touching my bum.

Caroline entered a cubicle to go about her business and I followed suit into a cubicle two along from her and realised I too needed a pee.

I hung my handbag on the back of the door and then struggled to pull up my tight dress and the slip underneath. I pulled down my tights and knickers to below my knees to enable me to sit on the toilet seat and concentrated on keeping my tights and knickers off the tiled toilet floor.

I had to carry on a conversation with Caroline as we both sat in our cubicles. I could hear her urinate into the toilet bowl as she proceeded to tell me about her infrequent and heavy periods. Ugh!

I had visions of her changing her towel. Ugh!

I was so glad when she had finished, stopped talking and went to wash her hands. I then struggled to get dressed in the tight confines of the toilet cubicle. I pulled up my knickers and tights and then pulled the hem of my blouse down under my dress so I again looked presentable. I was still pulling down my dress and slip as I exited the cubicle

“Lucy can I do something with your hair. It’s too formal for footie?” Caroline asked as I walked over to the washbasins to wash my hands.

Before I could reply she started undoing all of Aunt Julia’s hard work as she pulled the hair bow and some clips from my hair. She the proceeded to rearrange my hair using a brush and clips before announcing “There that’s better”

I looked in the mirror and realised that I now looked a lot less formal and in fact thought I looked rather trendy.

“Let's sort out your make up also” Caroline exclaimed without giving me a chance to answer. She used her own make up to alter my look slightly with blusher and lip-gloss.

“That’s better girl,” she said whilst looking me up and down and laughing “very shaggable"

I was mortified and just blushed as I put my hair bow in my handbag.

“One last thing Luce. If you are going to wear seamed stockings they need to be straight after you have gone about your business,” she exclaimed whilst looking at the back of my legs

“ There not stockings” I told her

“Tights, stockings, whatever, they are not straight” she answered as she grabbed my legs and proceeded to straighten the seams of my tights. I found this so embarrassing as Caroline continued to take me under her wing.

After what seemed like an eternity in the toilet we returned to the boys and a near empty pub. Paul started remonstrating with Caroline that we would miss the start of the game

Caroline argued with Paul “Oh what rubbish Paul. We were only gone five minutes”

Paul and Caroline started a little argument, which made me laugh as Martin acting the perfect gentleman helped me into the arms of my coat.

I pulled my hair out of the collar of the coat and shook my head to allow my newly arranged curls to hang freely. I could feel Martin looking at me with great interest as my large earrings bounced about my cheeks.

I hung my silk scarf around my neck without tying it and put my gloves in one of my coat pockets and without thinking grabbed Martin's left hand. Martin loved this and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

The other guys all moaned that we had to get a move on otherwise we would miss the game.

For the next ten minutes or so Caroline and I whom were both wearing high heeled boots struggled to keep up with the guys as Martin and Paul swept us along.

“Want to get on my back Lucy?” He jokingly offered

“Don't think so. Not in this tight skirt thanks” I joked back

We actually missed the first ten minutes of the game much to the annoyance of the men as we struggled to get into the busy stadium.

When we eventually sat down in the closely packed plastic seats I had Martin on one side and Caroline on the other. I didn’t really enjoy the game and mostly chatted to Caroline throughout.

She told me that she accompanied Paul to the games however she didn’t really enjoy it and would rather be out shopping.

Martin was quite happy to allow me to chat to Caroline however Paul appeared annoyed that we weren’t watching the game.

When Ipswich scored the whole stadium erupted. Martin grabbed hold of me and lifted me off the ground and when he put me back on the ground he planted a big kiss on my lips.

I grinned at him as he grabbed the back of neck and pulled me into him and then kissed me again however this time it was longer and harder. I tingled as he put his tongue in my mouth. I had never been kissed like this before and started to gag a little. Martin pulled away sensing I wasn't comfortable and started to apologise “sorry Lucy. I don't know w”

I interrupted him “What are you sorry for?” I looked at him sweetly and in a babyish voice said, “ I really enjoyed that. I hope they score again”

We both sat down smiling looking into each other's eyes as Caroline leaned across to me smiling and whispered in my ear

“I think you fancy him don’t you Luce?” I blushed and just looked down at my boots without responding.

I am sorry to say Ipswich never scored again before the game ended and they actually lost the game. As we walked away from the stadium at a more leisurely pace, I cuddled up to Martin from the cold air and felt so secure in his arms. I wondered what was happening to me and why I was feeling so good.

I should have been ashamed to be wearing girl’s clothes and make up and being huddled up to a man that had kissed me. I didn’t however feel guilt and wondered where my life might be leading.

My thoughts were disrupted as we all started to go our separate ways. When it came to us parting from Caroline and Paul, Caroline spoke to me as Paul and Martin chatted

“ I don’t think Martin was intending to bring along anyone to our wedding Lucy. Would you like to come with him?
Say you will. I really enjoy your company today girl”

Before I could reply she spoke again “of course you will also have to come out on my hen night on Thursday night won’t you” before I could speak she was asking me for my telephone number and without thinking I gave it to her.

Without realising it I had agreed to go on her hen night and to also go to her wedding accompanying the best man if he wanted me to.

She kissed my cheek as we parted company and squeezed my hand “ I will give you a ring during the week Luce. See yah”

Paul gave me an awkward kiss on the cheek and then he and Caroline walked away leaving me with Martin.

He came over to me and pulled me into him “ just you and me now kid” he smiled down at me.

“God am I safe” I joked as he pushed a stray hair behind my ear before kissing me full on the lips. The kiss lasted for about 2 minutes as he probed my mouth with his tongue and when we finally came up for breath we both smiled at each other like silly little school kids.

“ Lucy, sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I really do fancy you” Martin spoke whilst looking deep into my eyes.

“ Wrong with you? I think I should be questioning my own sanity” I blushed as we turned and walked towards Martin’s car.

When we reached the car Martin helped me in. As he walked around the car to get in his side I pulled off my gloves and started reapplying my lipgloss in the vanity mirror.

“Looking good angel,” he said as sat in the drivers seat. He leaned across to me and gave me an affectionate peck on the cheek

“Thanks” I sheepishly replied whilst fluffing my hair out in the small visor mirror

He started the car up and put the heater on full blast to warm the car up as we drove off. After a few minutes the car was warming up and I decided to take off my scarf and to unbutton my coat and allowed it to fall open.

After a few minutes Martin’s left hand wandered across and rested on my dress. Without warning he then slightly pulled the hem of my dress up and rested his hand on my nyloned knee. I put my hand on top of his to stop his hand wandering further up under my skirt and as a way of calming him down I started tickling the back of his hand as it rested on my knee.

He looked across to me with a big smile on his face and said, “ Can we do this again Lucy?”

“I don’t know. I’m confused Martin” I replied as emotion overcame and I started to cry

Chapter 14

Martin tried to console me as he drove “ what’s up Luce?”

“That’s just it Martin” I sobbed, “I’m not Luce or Lucy or anyone else. I’m still Joe. This is all wrong”

“It doesn’t feel wrong to me” he replied whilst gently squeezing my knee.

‘Please don’t Martin” I said whilst brushing his hand away

We drove the remainder of the way home in silence, as I was lost in my thoughts. I looked straight ahead however out of the corner of my eye I could sense Martin continually looking over to me. He too was probably replaying the day in his head as I was.

When we pulled up on his drive I quickly unclipped my seat belt and was out of the car before Martin had the opportunity to come around and open my door.

He looked sad and confused as he caught me up as I ran to my front door. He gently spun me around by the arm “have I done something wrong? I’m sorry if I pushed things too far Luce”

“ No it’s me who should be apologising Martin. You are a good guy and you shouldn’t be wasting your time on me”

“ I want to lu…"

I cut him off in mid sentence, pulled away, turned and rushed to my house next door “ I’m going in Martin” I cried as I again started to get upset “see you around”

I turned to look at Martin as I tottered off in my noisy heels. Martin looked a sad and forlorn figure as I searched in my bag for my front door keys. I eventually found them and through tears managed to get the key in the lock and enter my house.

When I slammed the door behind me I leant against it and cried my heart out. My loud sobbing brought my mum to the hallway.

“ There, there baby, what’s up” she consoled me as she grabbed my hands and pulled me up from the fetal position I had found myself in as I had slid down against the front door.

She wrapped me in her arms and soothingly stroked my hair

“Whatever is the matter sweetheart? What happened? Did something happen" she questioned me obviously concerned

Mum helped me though to the lounge where she helped me off with my coat and scarf “ Come on baby sit down. Let me help you off with your boots”

Mum unzipped my boots and pulled them off “ you settle down on the sofa and I will go and make us a nice cup of tea and then you can tell me what has upset you so much”

Whilst she was in the kitchen I rubbed my tired feet and curled up on the sofa. Mum returned after putting the kettle on to find me still sobbing. She handed me tissues to wipe away my tears.

“Surely it can’t be that bad honey. Come on wipe your eyes and blow your nose" mum said whilst rubbing my back

I couldn't speak so she eventually just held me for a couple of minutes. Every time I tried to speak I got choked up.

Mum placed her hands either side of my face and lovingly kissed me on the forehead " I will be back in a sec honey and then you can tell me what’s upsetting you so?”

Mum returned really quickly with our tea and told me to sit up and sip the sweet tea. I didn't fancy the tea and wanted a cuddle so I put my head in her lap and she gently started stroking my hair

After a few minutes in which I calmed down considerably mum finally spoke “ Now come on you silly thing. Tell your old mum what’s up,” she asked whilst continuing to stroke my hair

For the next 10 minutes or so without mum interrupting I told her that I was so confused. I told her I felt weird wearing girl’s clothes. I did however somehow omit to tell her of Martin’s attention and his kisses. I was so embarrassed and confused

After blubbering out my worries mum finally spoke

“Honey you know I will support you in whatever you want to do. You are a sweet child and deserve happiness” she reassured me as only mothers can.

After talking for about 30 minutes I smiled up at her “thanks mum. I love you” I then kissed her on her cheek “I’m going to have a shower. I feel tired mum”

“It will all work out honey. It always seems worse than it actually is. You go and have your shower love. Don’t forget to cover your hair with the shower cap," Mum instructed

When I was in alone in my room I struggled to unhook the little hook and eye at the top of my pinafore dress. I managed it eventually and pulled down the zip and allowed the dress to fall to the floor.

I had to call for mum to assist, as I couldn’t undo the little buttons at the back of my blouse “Mum can you come up and help me unbutton my blouse please?” I shouted down the stairs.

As she walked into my bedroom she joked, “ I didn’t think I would ever hear my son asking me a question like that”

Mum's joke cheered me up a bit. She undid the little buttons of the blouse and then helped me slip it off

“Hang up your dress honey” she commented on seeing it on the floor. I did as I was told.

In no time I had taken off my underwear, hair clips and all of the jewelry with the exception of my earrings and was soon enjoying the heat of the shower as it rained down on my weary body.

As I was drying myself on a big soft towel I realised that I hadn’t covered my hair as mum had told me to. “Oh well no problem” I thought, “ I will just have to dry it”

After towel drying my hair I put on some clean underpants, jogging trousers and a fleece top

I looked in the bathroom mirror and realised that I had to clean the remnants of make up from my eyes. As I was doing this using mum's cotton wall and eye make up remover, I could hear mums voice downstairs. I realised that she was on the phone to someone, however I couldn’t hear what she was saying.

After cleaning the remainder of the make up from my face I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Although I was supposedly in boy mode the face that looked back at me told me otherwise. I still had the stud and hooped earrings in my ears. My hair was a frizzy mass and my eyebrows were femininely arched. My eyelashes appeared bigger even though I thought I had done a good job in cleaning the mascara from them.

I realised for the very first time that my complexion was flawless and my face was smooth to touch. I thought of other boys shaving and wondered why I hadn’t started yet.
I was so confused and worried.

I walked through to mum’s bedroom and looked in her full length mirror. I knew that to anyone who didn’t know me I would probably be considered pretty rather than handsome. I looked like a teenage girl wearing her brother’s clothes.

I was shaken from my thoughts by mum touching my shoulder “ God Joe. Look at your hair! I told you to keep it dry. It’s going to be a nightmare in the morning unless we do something with it tonight.” I looked at her puzzled.

“You have had a permanent Joe. Your hair needs to be rollered after it has got wet. We will now have to put it up in curlers, however we will leave it until Martin has left. I am sure you won’t want him to see you in your rollers.”

“ Martin? What are you on about mum? Is he here?”

“No Joe not yet “ mum nonchantly replied as she played with my damp hair “ I called him as I was concerned about you and wanted to make sure he had treated you well today"

"He is such a lovely young man. He has offered to get us both a Chinese takeaway as I told him you haven’t eaten" she gushed

“ No mum” I pleaded “ can’t you call him back and tell him your going to cook something”

“ No I’m not. It’s gone eight Joe. I’m not going to start cooking at this time. It’s not my fault. I thought you and Martin had eaten when you were out”

Despite my protestations mother refused to call Martin back and as we argued I looked through my bedroom window and saw him drive off to collect the takeaway food.

“ Mum please I can’t let Martin see me like this” I pleaded

“ Like what? You look ok to me Joe” she teased knowing exactly what I meant.

“My hair looks a mess. I still have earrings in and my nails are still varnished,” I argued

“ So what. Do you think Martin doesn’t know that the pretty girl he took out earlier today is in fact you Joe?” She dismissed me.

“He likes you Joe. Haven’t you realised that yet? ” Mum added.

Before I could reply mum continued “Come on lets do something with your hair and how you are dressed before Martin gets back with the food. Please try to look nice for him as a thank you for today. Will you do that for me honey?"

I didn't have the energy to argue any more and over the next 15 minutes or so I followed mums instructions.

She had me put on a pair of white satin knickers and a matching lacy bra. She had me put on some flesh coloured sheer tights and for outerwear I found myself wearing a pair of her tight jeans and a black and pink flower patterned flouncy sleeved satin camisole top.

The camisole top did little to hide the thin straps of the white bra I wore underneath.

Mum applied a little mascara to my eyelashes and lipgloss to my lips before spraying me in some perfume before setting about my hair with a brush and curling tongs.

When she was finished my hair was pulled up into a tight high ponytail held with a scrunchie, which she decorated with a wide pink satin ribbon tied into a big bow.

Mum had me put on four thin gold bangles on my wrist and a long dangly gold necklace around my neck. We were just finishing off as there was a knock at the front door.

I froze as mum told me “Go and let Martin in Joe. The food will be getting cold”

I walked down the hallway towards the front door feeling the cold wood floor through the hosed soles of my feet and a shiver went down my spine as I partially opened the front door to see Martin standing there looking sheepish. At the same time I thought he looked scrummy. Scrummy! What the hell was happening to me?

I seemed to have lost my voice and motioned for him to come in from the cold as I thought back to how I had treated him and embarrassed myself when parting from him earlier

“ Hiya. Come in” I croaked whilst opening the door wider

I could feel him looking me up and down as I shyly looked back at him whilst pulling back up a stray bra strap that had fallen down my arm to above my elbow

“ Thanks Joe” he cheekily grinned back

Where was this all leading too I thought as Martin followed me through to the kitchen. What is wrong with me I thought? I was acting like a schoolgirl with a crush on an older man and the thought made me blush for probably the hundredth time that day

End of Chapter 14 - More to follow shortly

Chapter 15

Martin followed me through to the kitchen where mum was warming some plates

“Hi Martin love, how much do I owe you for the food?” She asked

“No problem Mrs M. It's ok, I should be thanking you for letting me take Joe out today” Martin replied

I stood in the middle of the kitchen listening to them chat not knowing what to do when mum looked to me

“Joe go and set the table whilst I dish up the food. There’s a good girl. Erm sorry boy” she corrected herself smiling

“I will give you a hand Joe,” offered Martin which made mum smile even more

As we were setting the table Martin complimented me

“Your hair looks really pretty in a ponytail and that ribbon. You look really cute. Would you come”

Before Martin had a chance to finish his sentence mum came in and berated me “Joe where are your manners? Ask Martin whether he wants a drink”

“Erm yes, eh sorry Martin do you want a drink,” I managed to choke whilst getting flustered at mum’s criticism

“Have you got a beer please Joe” Martin asked giving me a big smile

“Eh I guess so. Mum have we got beer?” I asked

"Yes under the stairs" Mum responded obviously annoyed at my apparent lack of manners

After getting Martin his beer and myself and mum a glass of water we all sat down to eat. Although I thought I was hungry I just pushed my food around my plate without eating too much as my mind was really preoccupied.

I was trying to figure out what my feelings were for Martin. I had previously thought of him as a type of big brother however after today's events I was thinking he meant more than that to me however I didn’t know how.

After dinner mum announced that she was going to have a shower and she told me to get Martin another beer and asked me to wash up the dishes.

Mum told Martin to go and make himself comfortable in the lounge whilst I got him his beer. Crikey I thought to myself “Guys do have it easier. I never realised”

I thought Martin was sitting in the lounge enjoying his beer as I started washing the dishes at the sink. I was shocked however when Martin surprised me by creeping up behind me and gently placing his hands on my shoulders before softly kissing me on the nape of my neck

“MARTIN — what are you doing” I squealed in shock turning around whilst grabbing the tea towel to dry my hands

“Sorry Joe" Martin grinned "Its just I really like you and well you turn me on”

"MARTIN" I screamed as quietly I could without alerting mum "I am a guy if you haven’t noticed” I screeched annoyed

‘You don’t look much like a guy at the moment Joe” he teased

“Well I am and don’t you forget it idiot” I protested whilst pushing him in the chest. In doing so I again had to push a blasted loose bra strap that had slipped down to my elbow back on to my shoulder. This made Martin grin even more

“Sorry Joe. It’s just you look so sexy in those tight jeans and lovely top. I really fancy you. Will you go out with me?” He asked

“What? No of course I can’t” I protested in a whiney high-pitched voice

“Joe please think about it” he pleaded whilst still grinning broadly “ I tell you what why don’t we go to the cinema tomorrow night. You can go as Joe if you like. It’s just that I love your company”

He kept on about the cinema as I turned my back to him to finish off the washing up. To shut him up I eventually said I would think about it.

After getting the response he wanted Martin happily picked up a tea towel and started drying up and stacking the dishes. He chatted away excitedly whilst I hardly said a word

When we had finished, I asked him whether he was going home as it was now getting late

“How about a coffee” he asked cheekily

“Ok one coffee then you have to go. Go and sit down in the lounge” I ordered him in a silly girly voice.

He grinned as he did as he was told

After making us both a mug of coffee I took them through to the lounge and sat on the other settee from the one that Martin was sitting on

“playing hard to get?” He teased as I felt myself blush

As I sat on the edge of the sofa and started sipping my coffee Martin got up and sat down right next to me just as mum came in the room

“How are you kids getting on?” She smiled whilst winking discreetly at me.

I cringed at mum’s question as Martin put his arm around me and started stroking my bare arm with his fingers, which gave me goosebumps

“Fine Mrs M. Joe has just agreed to go to the cinema with me tomorrow night haven’t you Joe?”

As I squirmed and tried to push Martin’s hand away and was about to reply as mum interjected “Oh that’s lovely isn’t it Joe. Isn’t he sweet honey”

‘Oh yeah mother isn’t he just” I mumbled whilst wanting to cry

I got up to make mum a coffee glad to get away from Martin’s prying hands. After about 10 minutes when he had finished his coffee Martin announced “ oh well I guess I better be going as I have an early start in the morning”

He got up and walked towards the front door

I remained in my seat as mum spoke” Jo where are your manners girl? Go see Martin out”

GIRL! UGH I inwardly screamed, however for some reason I did as I was told and joined Martin in the hallway. I closed the hallway door behind me so mum couldn't hear me before I spoke to Martin

“I haven’t agreed to go to the cinema tomorrow night and another thing I..”

Before I had a chance to finish putting Martin in his place he put his arms around my waist and pulled me into him and planted a big kiss on my lips.

As our lips released after a coupe of seconds I stood there stunned whilst staring into his eyes as he again kissed me passionately. This time I melted into his arms and put my hand around his neck and pulled him into me. We continued kissing as Martin groped the cheeks of my jean covered bottom and rubbed up so tightly against me that I could feel his growing manhood against my tummy.

Martin started kissing me all over and when he reached my neck he gave me a love bite, which I found very erotic. He caressed my back through my satin camisole and was feeling for my bra straps when my mum interrupted us

‘’ Ahem. Joanne I think you had better let Martin go home now. It’s late and although you haven’t got work tomorrow young lady, Martin has” she angrily exclaimed

“Ugh yes sorry Martin” I embarrassingly replied whilst straightening out my silky camisole top and adjusting my bra straps.

Martin gave me one last peck on the cheek before sheepishly smiling at mum saying “sorry Mrs M. Goodnight Joanne”

The door had hardly closed when mum went into a tirade reminding me that I had only just turned 18 and Martin was nearly 20 and that I shouldn’t be behaving like a common tart.

She noticed the love bite on my neck and screamed in rage “oh I can imagine Mrs Benson is going to just love seeing that on your neck you stupid girl”

Before she could continue with her rant, I burst into tears and ran up the stairs into my bedroom slamming the door behind me.

I collapsed onto my bed and sobbed my heart out. I was so confused. I was falling for Martin like a love smitten teenage girl however I of course wasn’t a girl.

I think I had been sobbing on my bed for about 15 minutes when mum came into my room. She was still angry

“ Look at the state of you. Your mascara is all over your face and your lipstick is smeared. Go and wash your face and get into your nightclothes then come back here,” she ordered me whilst handing me the nightie and robe I had worn the night before

I took the silky garments as I dare not challenge her and went and washed my face using cream to remove any remnants of make up.

I slipped out of the camisole top, jeans, tights and bra keeping my knickers on before putting on the lacy nightdress and matching robe

On returning to my room mum ordered me to join her in her bedroom, as we had to sort out my hair.

‘Mum I don’t want to dress as a girl anymore. It’s not right,” I cried out as I walked into her room

“Oh do shut up you silly little girl. Just look at you,” she shouted as she sat me down in front of her vanity mirror “Do you see a boy in the mirror? Would a boy allow another boy to kiss him and give him a love bite? You have to accept it, you are often mistaken for a girl because you look and carry on like one Joanne ”

“But mum” I tried to cut in shocked how easily she used the name Joanne

“No buts. If you want to carry on like a girl then you need to behave like a proper young lady not some cheap whore"

Her face was bright red as she continued berating me "I am not having any child of mine behave as you did in the hallway. You are only 18 for pity's sake.

"Now shut up whilst I roller your hair. We will talk about this further in the morning when we have both had a chance to sleep on what you have done"

What I have done? I thought to myself annoyed at her comments. I knew better however than to answer her back

"You can have a lie in and then you can help me with the food shopping and some Christmas shopping"

I knew better than to argue with my mother when she was in this type of mood and sat at the vanity quietly sobbing whilst she undid the ribbon in my hair and pulled out my scrunchie before starting to tightly roller my hair in small curlers

‘Oh do stop crying. You are not nine years old" she tutted to herself

When she had finished my head was full of small curlers, which she covered with a black hairnet.

“That’s better. Your hair should look fine tomorrow” she exclaimed admiring her work

“Look I’m sorry Joe it's just that I am not used to having a teenage daughter around and when I saw you and Martin making out in the hallway well, well I just flipped. You are still a baby to me and have so much to learn. Your much too young to know what men can be like Joe?” She calmly spoke as she crouched down and took me in her arms and gave me a big cuddle

She soothingly rubbed my silk covered back “I am so sorry Joe for reacting as I did. I love you so much and don’t want you to get hurt honey,”

Mum eventually released my weary body and kissed me gently on the forehead “Now come on then my little bunny, bedtime”

Mum tucked me in to bed that night and before turning off the light said

“We will have to get you something nice to wear for your date with Martin. Perhaps a pretty dress or nice skirt and blouse. Sweet dreams honey”

As I lay there in the dark with the nightie embracing me I took in mums parting comments. I found it difficult to sleep that night what with the rollers digging in my head and with the events of the day in my thoughts however just before I eventually fell to sleep I worried that I may have feelings for the boy next door!

Chapter 16

I woke the next morning to rain lashing against my bedroom window. As I was struggling out of bed I felt the curlers and pins securing them in my hair and a dull pain in my right earlobe. I had been lying on the pin of one of my earrings and it had made an indent on my lobe. Ugh the joys of being a girl I inwardly groaned

I looked at the bedside clock and it read 9.42am. Crikey I had slept well despite the curlers and earring.

The house was silent as I made my way to the bathroom, the lace edged satin nightdress I wore flipping about my knees

Walking down the hall landing I stopped to look at my reflection in the mirror. I looked quite a fright what with the hair curlers and my sleepy eyes. There was however no doubting that it appeared a girl was staring back at me in her pretty purple nightdress. She had a shapely figure and slim legs.

I came to my senses “God that’s you, you idiot. What am I thinking this has got to stop” I screamed out aloud

Expecting mum to come running at my noisy outburst, I was surprised that the house stayed silent. Where is mum I thought?

With my mind in turmoil I decided I could no longer be open to ridicule and started pulling at the hairpins that held the curlers in my hair. After a few minutes I had removed all of the curlers and pins and my hair was left in a mass of unruly curls. As I picked up the curlers and pins from the floor my hair kept falling into my eyes. UGH!

In the bathroom I slipped of the nightdress and knickers and despite mums instructions, as a protest I again jumped in the shower without covering my hair.

As the hot water pounded down on me I used soap to remove the feminine smells that clinged to my body from the previous day. I scrubbed at my face to remove all traces of make up and more than once caught the large hoop earrings in my ears, which bought tears to my eyes.

I would have to get the earrings out however mums words stopped me from doing so. She had said yesterday that my ears would go septic without proper care and regular turning of the posts. I decided to leave them in for now and would ask mum to take them out later.

As I dried myself with a big towel and dried my hair I decided I would get it cut later that day as it was now too long and unmanageable what with the curls.

In my bedroom I pulled on my normal boys wear of pants, jeans and a tee shirt and went to mums bedroom to try and tackle my hair. By now my hair was drying into kinky curls, which despite my efforts made me look even more girly. “Why didn’t I listen to mum?” I thought

As I was pulling mums hairbrush through my hair trying to straighten my curls the phone starting ringing.

“Mum can you get that” I shouted and was surprised when there was no reply

“Where is she?” I thought. I didn’t have long to wait to find out

Running down the stairs to the phone I answered slightly breathless

“Hello”

“Oh hi honey” mum replied “ your up then?” Parents do say the most stupid of things at time

“What do you think mother. Where are you?”

“Your Nan is in hospital. She has being having chest pains and the doctors are checking her out now. I’m here with Auntie Heather”. Aunt Heather was mum’s older sister

“Auntie Heather called me and I need to stay here to see what’s wrong with Nana. Are you ok?” She asked

“ Yes mum although I want to get my hair cut. I have just had a shower and my hairs gone all kinky an..

Before I could continue mum interrupted “What did I tell you about getting your hair wet? Why don’t you ever listen to me Joe? Well unfortunately you will have to put up with kinky hair until I find out how my mum is”

Mum's words made me fell terribly guilty at that moment. I bought things into perspective, me worrying about my hair when my Nan was lying ill in hospital

“Sorry mum. Don’t worry I will sort my hair out. Give my love to Nan”

“I will honey. Anyway what are you going to do today? I doubt you will want to go out with frizzy hair?” Mum continued, “ I will call Auntie Julia and ask her to pop around and try to do something with your hair”

Before I had a chance to respond to mums suggestion she carried on speaking

“Anyway I better go as the Doctor is speaking to Auntie Heather, bye love”

That was a typical conversation with my mum on the phone. She often forgot that a telephone conversation involved two people

I decided to leave my hair. I wasn’t intending to go anywhere anyway although I had thought yesterday that I might start my Christmas shopping. Oh well that can wait.

As I was making myself some toast there was a knock at the door. I panicked, as I didn’t want anyone to see my hair like this. I peered though the lounge window to the front door and saw aunt Julia standing there with a little baby in her arms

“Joe let me in. I know you are in there. Quick it's cold and wet out here”

I opened the door staring at the baby before I even considered looking at Aunt Julia. I was brought to my senses by Aunt Julia’s laughter

“Oh my god look at your hair. You look like that guy out of Simply Red”

“Simply who?” I asked confused as Julia made her way past me into the kitchen

“Let’s see what we can do with that rats nest of yours,” she said thrusting the baby into my arms

“ This is little Emily. Emily is my younger sister’s daughter. Isn’t she so cute? I am looking after her for the day whilst her mum's out house hunting”

Emily glared at me as if to say who the hell are you

Julia instructed me to sit on a chair. In a daze I did as I was told and in doing so I put Emily on my knee bouncing her up and down gently. This seemed to please her as she smiled and giggled.

Julia beamed “She has taken to you Joe. Normally she is funny with strangers however it seems she likes you. You obviously have maternal instincts”

I let Julia’s comment pass as she started pulling my hair this way and that. I concentrated in holding Emily as she wriggled on my knee. I repositioned her in my lap and that seemed to make her happy

After a couple of minutes Julia exclaimed, “Short of re-curling it I think we need to straighten your hair out Joe"

"You will need to come next door with me so I can use my tongs" (this was before everyone had straighteners). "I don’t know where your mum keeps hers,” she gabbled away as she motioned for me to get up and follow her.

She took hold off Emily whilst I locked up and Emily responded by bursting into tears and ear piercing screams

“Oh my god she has taken to you Joe” Julia laughed whilst thrusting Emily back into my arms, after I had locked up.

We darted next door to escape the wind and rain as I held Emily tight to my chest

As soon as Emily was back in my arms, she more or less stopped crying and screaming. By the time we entered Julia's warm home she had stopped crying and was actually smiling

“ Oh my god you have a natural talent Joe. She really likes you” Julia gushed as Emily stared at me

I don’t know why but at that moment I had a warm feeling inside me knowing that something as cute as Emily had taken a liking to me

“How old is she Aunt Julia,” I asked

“Seven months Joe. She likes you a lot. I can tell”

Julia sat me down at a chair in her kitchen and again started on my hair. I played with Emily on my lap. She was so lovely and playful. I knew then that one day I wanted to have one of these little things

I was brought back to adult life when Julia started pulling her hot tongs through my hair making me wince when she pulled too hard.

The next 30 minutes or so flew by as I played with Emily and made small talk with Julia

Julia stood back and said, “That will have to do Joe. You will need a bit of hairspray otherwise it will all drop out. Put Emily on the floor whilst I spray some on your hair”

As I put Emily on the floor she again started sobbing

Julia laughed out loud “ Quick let’s spray your hair before we all get a headache” she joked

Julia covered my eyes with her spare hand whilst she sprayed the lacquer on my hair. Emily continued to sob as Julia took me to a full length mirror to view her handiwork

Although my hair was less curly it was still most definitely feminine and could in no way be mistaken for a boys haircut. One saving grace was that in styling my hair, Julia had managed to cover my stud earrings but not the hoop earrings.

As I looked in the mirror with Julia advising how my hair could be made to look less feminine we both decided we had to give up and return to the sobbing Emily as by now our voices could hardly be heard over Emily’s screams.

“I think she needs changing Joe. Want to help?” Julia asked as the smell of Emily’s dirty nappy finally hit my senses

“I don’t think so” I embarrassingly replied shying away

“Oh go on she will like you changing her. You may as well get some practice in before you have your own babies” Julia nudged me

There followed a lesson on how to change a baby’s nappy. I was surprised to find out that I really enjoyed it despite the horrid smell. Emily seemed pleased with my efforts as she stopped sobbing.

Afterwards we went into the lounge and I placed Emily on the carpet and played with her as Julia made coffee. I was really enjoying myself fussing over a baby.

When returning with the coffee Julia asked “Joe do you want to come with me and Emily to the shops? I have a few things to do and a few things to return to Marks and Spencer’s. I don’t think I will get anything done without you tagging along as Emily has really taken to you”

“No thanks Aunt Julia” I tried to excuse myself, “I also have a few things I need to do today”

Despite Julia trying to persuade me otherwise I stood my ground and politely declined joining them at the shops.

As we drunk our coffee's we both continued played with Emily and her toys. Although I really wanted to spend more time with Emily I didn’t want to be seen out with my hair in its obvious girly state.

I shook a little teddy in front of Emily as Julia asked me about my date with Martin and whether I was going to go to the cinema with him later that evening. I told Julia that I wouldn’t be going and that although I liked Martin it was as Joe and not Lucy.

Julia gently touched my arm, “That’s a pity Lucy. You would make a great Daughter in law”

Even I thought that funny and giggled “Never mind. I’m sure that in time Martin will find you a lovely daughter in law”

“Yes but not as pretty and caring as you” she responded whilst pushing a stray tendril away from my face as I tickled Emily under the chin

I spent a good couple of hours with Julia and Emily and after feeling like I was outstaying my welcome I made my excuses and went to leave.

As I walked to the front door Emily started sobbing in which was heartbreaking especially when she held her breath for what seemed like an age before screaming again.

Despite trying to make my escape I found myself feeling guilty that I was leaving Emily in such a distressed state.

I don’t know what came over me as I looked at poor little Emily and told Julia

‘I will come with you Aunt Julia however I will stay in the car with Emily whilst you are shopping. Let me go and get my coat. I will be back soon”

As I made to open the door Julia intercepted me

“You are such an angel Joe. Let me find you a coat to wear. I have one that has a hood. It will cover your hair. It’s raining out there and your hair will go all frizzy again without you covering it up”

I was happy with Julia's suggestion as my head would be covered and my hair wouldn't be noticeable.

I returned to heartbroken Emily and picked her up of the floor as she held her little arms out to me. I soothed her as Aunt Julia went to get the coats

On her return I noticed Julia was also carrying a salmon coloured sweater, which was obviously a woman’s sweater

“Here put this on carefully over your hair. It’s too cold for you to be just wearing just a tee shirt today. No one will see it under your coat”

It seemed like Julia had answers for everything. I quickly handed Emily to Julia and carefully pulled the tight sweater over my head and looked at myself in a mirror above the fireplace.

The sweater appeared to be made of wool or similar and was not that thick. It was cowl necked, tight fitting and had an intricate open knit pattern on the shoulders that exposed my tea shirt underneath somewhat. The long sleeves although tight on my arms flared out at my wrists

“Haven’t you got anything less girly Aunt Julia?” I asked hopefully

“It looks lovely on you Joe. It won’t be seen under this coat” she exclaimed whilst handing me a black thigh length puffa jacket. The winter jacket had wide bands of faux black fur on the sleeves and around the collar and on the edge of hood of the jacket.

I buttoned the jacket up to my neck and in doing so realised I thankfully couldn't see the feminine sweater underneath, however even with the hood covering my hair I thought I looked slightly too girly for my liking.

My skinny jeans poked out from under the thigh length jacket, which seemed to show of my thin legs to maximum effect.

“You look great sweetheart she hugged me. Let’s get Emily ready now,” Julia beamed whilst lovingly kissing Emily on the forehead

I bought my hand up to my face to sweep away a stray hair when I noticed my varnished fingernails “Aunt Julia what am I supposed to do with these?” I asked throwing my hands in the air

Julia laughed, “They look fine to me Lucy”

Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Why do I get myself into these predicaments? I embarrassingly thought to myself

End of chapter 16 - More chapters to follow shortly

Chapter 17

We were delayed leaving Aunt Julia’s as I wouldn’t leave the house without first removing the nail varnish from my fingernails. Julia found some remover and cotton pads and left me to remove the varnish as she got Emily ready and locked up.

As I removed the varnish from each finger I wondered how Nan was doing. I prayed she would be ok. I loved my Nan. She had always been around for mum and me since I was a baby. I started to well up as I thought of all the good times I had spent with Nan and Granddad.

Unfortunately Granddad had passed away two years ago and I missed him terribly. Nan hadn’t been the same since Granddad died and it was obvious she missed him a lot.

Mum and I had lost touch with my dads parents since dad upped and left mum for another woman when I was three years old. I wondered where he was now. I didn’t feel anything for him although I did often wonder what he was doing now and did I possibly have any stepbrothers and sisters.

Julia’s voice brought me out of my daydreaming “come on you. Stop dilly dallying. Let’s get a move on before the rain starts again"

Before we left I asked Julia to take my earrings out of my ears, however she said that it best that I leave them in although she did agree to change the large hoops for tiny gold studs. My ears stung as she swapped the earrings.

Before finally setting off for the shops I popped next door and left a note on the kitchen table for mum telling her where I was going to be.

Once Emily was strapped in Julia’s car we set of for the shopping centre. The same shopping centre where my photos had been taken only three days before. I wondered whether mum had picked the photos up. I mentioned the photos to Julia and she said we should visit the photographers to see whether they were ready to be collected. Despite my arguments Julia’s mind was made up, as she was keen to see the photos

“But mum probably hasn’t paid for them yet” I stated

“That's ok. I can pay for them and your mum can pay me back later. Anyway if they are good I might even get a copy of a photo or two for myself “Julia happily replied

There was obviously no way I was going to of change Aunt Julia’s mind once she had made a decision. Poor old Martin I thought having to grow up with Julia’s strong will. I thought Mum was the opposite and realised she was in fact quite relaxed really.

When we got to the shopping centre I told Julia that I would stay in the car and look after Emily whilst she shopped. Julia wouldn't agree to my suggestion and said that she would be gone too long and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to cope with Emily as she was due another feed soon.

Despite my protestations I eventually lost the argument and a little while later we were walking through the mall. I was pushing Emily and I had put the hood up on my jacket to hide my stupid hair

Julia looked to me and tutted “Joe pull your hood down. You look silly with it up”

‘But then everyone can then see my hair” I argued

“So what are they going to see? It looks ok to me” Julia responded somewhat annoyed

“It looks too girly. I will keep it up”

“No you won’t. Don’t be silly. You are bringing attention to yourself by having the hood up. Now take it down now. Your hair doesn’t look girly at all,” Julia told me whilst looking around her embarrassed

I thought why is she looking embarrassed. I’m the one with the curly hair. Julia obviously wasn’t going to take no for an answer so I sheepishly pulled the hood down and we continued walking towards the shops with me deliberately keeping my head down trying not to be noticed.

The first point of call was Marks and Spencer’s where Julia told me she wanted to return some clothes for a refund. There was a fairly short queue and as we waited Julia announced that she needed to pop to the toilet quickly and asked whether I would hold our place in the queue whilst she was gone

“How long are you going to be Aunt Julia? What if I get to the front before you get back? I worryingly asked

“Oh you are a worrier love. I will only be gone a few minutes. The toilets are only over there” she said pointing to the toilets about 30 feet away.

“If I'm not back by the time you get to the front, tell the lady that I want a full refund on the clothes in the bag. The receipts are in the bag love," Julia said whilst handing me a M&S plastic carrier bag

Before I had a chance to respond Julia had turned on her heels and headed for the toilets

My heart beat hard as I was left in the queue with Emily and the bag of clothes. Emily didn’t seem phased and simply gurgled up at me as I nervously smiled back

“Is it a boy or a girl” I heard a voice

Turning to an elderly woman behind me I replied “sorry?”

“Your baby. Is it a boy or girl?” She asked as she bent down to have a good look at Emily

“Oh eh she’s a girl. Emily is a girl” I stuttered in return

“She’s such a cutie aren’t you little one” she said gushingly as she grabbed hold off Emily’s little mittened fingers

“How old is she?”

“7 months” I replied, recalling Julia telling me

“She looks a lot like you young lady. Is she your first?” She beamed at me

“Err, err” I tried to respond as Mrs. nosy continued talking

“You girls start families so young now. My Granddaughter Becky is just the same. She is only 19 and she already has a one year old baby boy. I guess it beats going to ……” she carried on talking as I just stood there nodding and shaking my head hopefully in the right places to her probing questions desperately hoping Julia would return soon.

I caught sight of myself in a full length mirror as Mrs. nosy continued to probe. Although I was dressed as a guy my hair, earrings and Julia’s coat told another story. To the unknowing eye I was a young girl whose hair looked a mess and a girl who hadn’t taken much pride in her appearance that day. My face was bright red from being not only hot but also from blushing by being in this embarrassing situation.

The lady continued to rant on until thankfully I reached the front of the queue and was summoned over by the shop girl

"Next please"

I was still looking for Julia as I made my way slowly to the tills

“Hello Miss. How may I help you today” asked the young girl who was not much older than me.

I looked at the pretty shop assistant in her smart uniform and thought to myself what is wrong with everyone? Could they not see I was a boy?

“Erm can I get a refund on these things” I said whilst handing over the bag to the girl

The girl carefully pulled clothing out of the bag

“Can I please ask why you are returning the dress and blouse Miss. Did they not fit? ” She queried whilst laying the clothes on the counter

“Oh, erm, eh I’m not sure they are my aunts and she asked me to return them for her” I nervously answered

“Have you a receipt Miss?” She asked just as Julia came into view

Relieved I nervously asked “Aunt Julia where’s the receipt?” I shouted

Julia smiled at the shop girl and raised her eyebrows “There in the bag Joe. I did tell you”

Julia took over and explained to the shop girl that the garments hadn’t fitted her when she had tried them on.

As the girl was carrying out the refund transaction Mrs. Nosy touched Julia on the arm to get her attention

“ I was saying to your daughter that her baby is so cute. I bet you are so proud of them both”

Julia proudly smiled back at the lady

"Oh thank you so much. Yes Joanne is so blessed to have given birth to our little Emily"

She motioned to me and jokingly told Mrs Nosy

" My Joanne is such a lucky girl. She has nearly got her figure back already, although you would never guess with her wearing that big coat of hers” Julia teased whilst winking at me

Mrs nosy nodded at Julia's comment and looking to me said

“ She looks like she has a lovely figure although I can't understand why girls her age dress down so much. If I was her age and had her figure I would be proudly showing it off"

"Your daughter would look so much better in a nice skirt rather than those jeans she is wearing” she disapprovingly gestured to my legs as if I didn't have a say in the matter

I was so relieved when the girl on the counter refunded Julia’s money as we bid Mrs Nosy goodbye and made our escape.

“What took you so long?” I frustratingly asked Julia as we walked away

“What's the problem? I had a quick look around the underwear department whilst I was over in that area. I picked up a couple of things that were on in the sale,” Julia gestured to a bag she was carrying “You and Emily were ok weren’t you?"

Before I could respond Julia joked, “come on my new daughter. Lets go and get a coffee. We need to feed Emily”

We left the store and made our way along the mall to a small bakery where we found a table

As we sat down Julia pulled at the arm of the coat I wore “Take off your coat Joe. You look really hot,”

“ I am hot Aunt Julia however I can’t take the coat off. I have your jumper on underneath remember,” I replied embarrassed

“So what. You look fine in it” Julia disregarded my concerns out of hand

“I would if I was a girl. I’m a boy if you have forgotten” I whispered back

“Oh don’t be silly. Already today everyone thinks you are a girl. So what difference does it make? Just go with the flow”

“Aunt Julia” I gasped “go with the flow? It's easy for you to say. If I take off the jacket everyone will see I’m a boy as I am flat chested,” I replied frustratingly point to my chest

Julia giggled “Oh I forgot about that. Well you can’t wear the coat all afternoon otherwise you will pass out. I have an idea. Take the bag and go to the ladies and put on one of the bras that I have just bought. Hopefully they should fit you. We are about the same size honey” Julia directed me whilst handing me the Marks and Spencer bag

‘You better use the ladies otherwise you will get some funny looks. You know what to do” she brushed me off as the waitress came over to take our order

I stood there for a moment not knowing what to do and Julia’s motioning face told me to do as she had asked

Why I agreed I don’t know. I did as I was told in a cubicle within the ladies toilet. I took of the jacket, jumper and my tee shirt and looked in the bag. In the bag were a black bra, a pink bra and a multiple pack of tights.

I picked out the pink bra and put it on. I chose the pink one, as I knew the black bra would show through the sweater. I left the tags on the little bra as I thought Julia might want to take it back.

I was feeling hot and therefore left my tee shirt off and only put the sweater back on. I put my tee shirt in the bag and after a quick pee left the cubicle and looked at myself in the toilet mirror.

As I looked in the mirror all I could see was a young girl with a tight sweater on that showed the outline of a bra underneath that obviously hid her small breasts. I pulled the coat back on to hide my upper half and returned flustered to Julia

“There you are. I was going to send out a search party. Why have you still got the jacket on?” Julia asked

I explained to Julia about my lack of breasts and she laughed, “Oh baby. Have your coffee. We can sort that out in a little while. At least undo your jacket. You are getting funny looks Joe"

I looked around embarrassed and saw that no one was looking at me but decided to say nothing

During our break I bottle fed Emily with her mums expressed milk and somehow forgot about my worries as I lovingly looked down at the adorable baby in my arms

“You are such a natural Joe” Julia again told me whilst watching Emily and I interact

Natural what? I thought to myself as someone spoke

“ Can I join you ladies?” I looked up and to my surprise saw Martin standing there impeccably dressed in a sharp suit and tie

Julia got up and hugged Martin before gesturing him to sit down “ Hello darling. Yes sit down. Jo’s just feeding Emily. I was just saying she’s a natural" Julia gushed adoringly to her only son

I didn’t miss the reference to she however I couldn't be bothered to respond and instead I gave a weak smile, blushed and continued to look down at my charge Emily

‘Fancy seeing you here Martin” I almost spat at Martin knowing full well that Julia must have been behind his sudden appearance in the cafe.

“Yeah its my lunch break and I often come in here for a snack” he less than convincingly replied

“Well fancy that” I sarcastically responded before turning to Julia and giving her a knowing look

“You look nice Joe. I like your sweater” he motioned to my semi open jacket

I was about to respond when Julia spoke for me “ actually I am glad you’re here. Could you look after Emily for five minutes? I need to sort something out with Joanne”

‘No probs mum” Martin hestitatedly replied as Julia took Emily from me and dumped her in Martin’s arms “just don’t be too long. Babies and me don’t get on" Martin grimaced.

Julia gently grabbed my wrist “come on missy. Bring your bag” she motioned to her plastic bag on the floor at my feet

I was nigh on dragged to the toilet where Julia set about me “ right get that bloody coat off. Let's give you some boobs Jo" she giggled

A few minutes later Julia had pulled the tags off the pink bra I was wearing as she said they could be seen through my tight sweater. She plumped out the bra cups with some of the new tights she had just bought and then adjusted the straps upon my shoulders.

I looked in the mirror at my new breasts when Julia told me to pucker up

“Pucker what” I started to say as she set about applying lipgloss to my lips

“Aunt Julia what are you doing. I can’t be seen like this,” I protested as she then set about my hair

“Look Jo, face up to it. There is no way anyone is going to think you’re a boy today. The lady in the queue even thought you were a mummy. Just go with the flow whilst we are out. You never know you might even enjoy yourself sweetheart”

In a state of shock I didn’t know what to say so kept quiet as Julia started creating a modern hairdo better suited to a girl of my age. She pulled my hair behind one ear, which showed of two of my earrings and on the other side of my face she swept the hair partially over one eye.

No sooner had she completed styling my hair, she was sweeping the same hair back from my face to apply mascara to my upper and lower eyelashes.

When Julia had finished with the mascara she stroked some blusher on my cheeks before dousing my hair with lacquer as she primped my hair to her satisfaction.

When she had finished she sprayed me with some sweet smelling perfume

“Oh that’s so much better Jo. You really are such a pretty thing” she said whilst admiring her work

“Aunt Julia eh” I was unable to speak as I looked in the mirror and only saw a young girl looking back at me. The tight sweater I wore accentuated my breasts and you could still see the outline of my thin bra straps and the lace on the cups through the thin sweater. The woolen sweater felt itchy and I wished I had kept my tee shirt on

‘Come on. Martin will be wondering where we have got to,” she said whilst picking up her bags and my coat

In a daze I followed her back to the cafe where Martin was trying to console a sobbing Emily. Two of the cafe waitresses were also trying to calm Emily down however it was quite apparent that she was having none of it

As I walked towards her she held her arms out to me whilst sobbing her heart out. I took her in my arms and almost in an instance she stopped crying

“Aww how cute. She wanted her mummy” one of the waitresses smiled at me

Emily put her arms around my neck and held me tightly. I knew I was again going bright red not for the first time that day

Martin looked at me with a huge smile and said teasingly “She’s terrible when Joanne’s not around. She loves her mummy so much”

I could have killed him and was about to respond when he spoke again “ although Grandma is going to have her tonight as Joanne and me are having a night off and are going to the cinema. Aren’t you grandma?” Martin joked

Without a pause Julia played along with Martin's game

“ I am, although we need to get a move on if you are to go anywhere tonight. Joanne wants a new outfit to wear don’t you sweetheart and she needs to get home to breastfeed Emily and express some milk before you can even think of a night out

I stood there speechless as the young waitresses looked on admiringly as Martin pecked me and Emily each on the forehead before he left leaving me in a dazed state.

Chapter 18

As I watched Martin and the waitress's walk away Julia tapped me on the hand waking me from my daydreaming

" Come on my girl. We need to find you something nice to wear for your date with Martin tonight. I was thinking a nice tunic dress that all of you teenage girls seem to be wearing these days "

"Oh I don't know Aunt Julia. Can we please just go home? I have a really bad headache," I pleaded

"Are you ok Joanne? Do you want one of my Midol? Is it your time of the month love?" Julia teased however her voice did sound compassionate nevertheless.

"I will be ok I think I just need to have a lie down. I am a little worried about Nan and also wonder how mum is coping. A lot has happened over the last few days" I said as I automatically got up from my seat and picked Emily up from her pram to put on her coat, mittens and cute little hat.

Julia gave me a look of concern and smiled however didn't initially say anything as she observed me take care of Emily. When Emily was wrapped up ready for the cold and after I had returned her to her snuggly pram Julia spoke.

"You know Joanne you have wonderful maternal instincts for someone so young. You instinctively know how to look after Emily. Come on I have a few more things to get and then we can get you and Emily home."

I followed behind Julia as she stopped off at three more shops. To save time and to avoid the difficulty of maneuvering Emily's pram through the narrow isles of the stores I waited outside as Julia completed her shopping

An hour slowly passed before Julia announced she was done. As I pushed Emily through the mall to the car park Julia cursed out loud

"Damn! We have forgotten to pick up your photos from the photographers"

I groaned "Aunt Julia. Can we collect them another day? The shop is at the other end of the mall and I really don't feel that well" I exclaimed stretching the truth somewhat as all I wanted to do was get home and out of the clothes I wore. As I spoke I felt my bra straps cut into my shoulders.

"OK love, we can collect them another day. Let's get you home." Julia replied whilst giving me a big warm hug

On the way home neither Julia nor I said very much as we were both in our own thoughts. I wasn't sure what Aunt Julia was thinking, however I was thinking of how I could possibly get out of going to the cinema with Martin tonight. Although I wanted to spend time with Martin I wasn't sure how I thought of doing so as Joanne/Lucy. I was so confused with my feelings.

Baby Emily didn't seem to have a care in the world as she slept in her baby seat on the back seat of the car. I wished I could swap with her and not have a care in the world.

The silence ended as Julia asked me how my driving lessons were going.

"Yes not bad I think. Mum might say otherwise however I am really happy and can't wait to take my test although mum says I am not ready for it just yet."

Julia laughed. "Your uncle David will have a moan if you pass. He already thinks there are too many women drivers on the road! He is always moaning about my driving," she chuckled to herself. Did Aunt Julia truly believe me to be a woman? This was getting a little surreal.

I smiled uncomfortably and returned to my thoughts as Julia rambled on all the way home.

When we arrived back home and without being asked I carefully unstrapped Emily's car seat and carried her back into Julia's house, trying my best not to wake the cutest thing I had ever held.

After lowering Emily into her cot I whispered to Julia that I was going to go home and lie down.

"Are you ok love? You do look a little off colour. Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No I am fine Aunt Julia. I will be fine after a couple of hours sleep," I replied just wanting to escape to the sanctuary of my own home.

"If you are sure love. Are you going to be well enough to go on your date with Martin tonight? Do you want me to sort something out for you to wear? Perhaps a nice skirt and blouse? I have a lovely silk camisole top that would really look good on you," she gushed.

"I am not sure Aunt Julia. I will see whether I am up to it later once I have had a sleep. I will let Martin know later."

"OK love. Thanks for helping me out with Emily today. You were a real godsend. I don't think she would have stopped crying if it wasn't for you."

She smiled towards the beautifully cute sleeping Emily.

"She is wonderful Aunt Julia. Your sister is so lucky to have such a sweet daughter," I whispered as I gently kissed Emily on the forehead.

"Well she is always looking for babysitters Jo so you can see a lot more of her if you want. Its obvious that Emily prefers you to her Auntie Julia," Julia grinned

I smiled and said goodbye and before leaving I got another big cuddle and kiss on the cheek from Julia.

As I was taking the key out of my front door and entering the hall to my house the phone started ringing and I ran to the lounge as fast as I could.

"Hello"

"Oh hi Joe." It was mum on the other end of the phone. "I just thought I would give you a call and give you an update on Nan."

"How is she mum. Is she ok?" I asked nervously.

"Yes love she seems to be more comfortable now. They have moved her to a ward and she is under observation. Aunt Heather and I are staying with her until later tonight when hopefully we will know more about what caused the pains."

"Oh that's great news mum. Do they know what caused her chest pains?" I asked concerned.

"No they don't love. They are still running tests. She will be ok. You know what a fighter your Grandma is" Mum reassured me and in doing so was probably trying to reassure herself.

"Give her my love mum. I hope she isn't in too much pain."

"You can give her your own love later Joe. She wants to see you"

I panicked "WHAT MUM! I can't see Nan with my hair and eyebrows like this. She will think I have totally lost it," I cried looking at my reflection in the mirror above the fireplace. Looking back was a cute teenage girl who looked nothing like a grandson called Joe.

"Calm down dear. It's ok I have told her about your escapades over the last few days and it really cheered her up no end. She thinks you are wonderfully brave and would like to see her Granddaughter Joanne before she disappears."

"Disappears Mum? Nan is going to be ok isn't she," I screamed.

Mum laughed. "Your Nan's not going anywhere silly. I was talking about you, Joanne possibly disappearing. So can you please ask another favour of poor old Auntie Julia?"

"What do you want me to ask her mum?" I nervously queried.

"Can you ask her whether she can drop you off at the hospital at say 6.30 tonight? Please ask her to sort out your hair and make up. You can wear your work skirt and blouse if you can't find anything else to wear love."

"But mum I," I started to protest whilst playing with the strap of my bra through the itchy sweater.

Mum cut me off and appruptly told me "No buts Joanne. It will really cheer your Nan up for her to see you. Aunt Heather is also looking forward to meeting her new Niece. Anyway got to go. I will meet you in the hospital reception at 6.30. See you later love. Love you lots"

Before I could protest mum had put the phone down and I was left listening to a single tone on the phone in a complete daze.

End of chapter 18

I would love to receive your feedback.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas, Lucy XX

Mums Encouragement Chapter 19

After mum hung up I thought I would have a quick lie on my bed to collect my thoughts as I believed I had plenty of time before I would have to call Aunt Julia and ask for her help.

How I don't know but as soon as my head hit the pillow I drifted off into a deep sleep and only woke up to the sound of the front door bell and someone banging on the front door.

It was dark outside and as I awoke I initially thought it was the middle of the night and was worried at who could be knocking on our door at that time.

"Mum whose that at the door," I shouted towards my mums bedroom expecting her to come running

After a few seconds I glanced at my bedside clock and realised it was actually 4.40pm and not 4.40am. I quickly pulled myself up from my bed and ran downstairs to see who was making such a noise.

Aunt Julia barged through the door as I opened it "Joanne what have you been doing? Your mum has just rang me and said she had spoken to you earlier and she said you was supposed to call me so I can get you ready to visit your Nan in hospital"

"On my god. We haven't got much time left now so lets get a shift on," Julia ranted on at me as she continued through into the living room whilst carrying some clothes over her arm.

In a daze I shut the front door and joined Julia in the lounge "Aunt Julia I can't see my Nan and Auntie Heather dressed like this." I motioned to my face and hair.

"No of course you can't," Julia smiled and in doing so she raised my hopes of not having to visit the hospital.

"We obviously need to sort your make up and hair out don't we. You have got bed hair and your make up needs sorting Joanne."

So much for a respite I thought as my hopes were instantly dashed.

"Come on let's start with cleaning your make up from your face and redoing it. I will then do your hair love. Before we start lets get you into your dressing gown so you don't mess up your hair when taking off your jumper later." Julia continued talking whilst pulling the jumper over my head leaving me exposed in just my bra.

"My BRA!!" Was I losing the plot?

Over the next 15 minutes or so Julia had helped me into the satin underwear she had brought with her, which included a pretty lavender underwired bra. The bra had white lace trim on the cups and a little bow that nestled where a girl's cleavage should be. Matching satin lavender knickers were added together with a pair of light tan sheer tights.

Julia finished of my underwear by slipping a flimsy full slip down over my head before adjusting the bra and slip straps and filling the bra out
with water filled balloons in each cup therefore giving me a cleavage becoming a teenage girl

"Jo you have a great figure hon. You would look good in a sack," Julia gushed as she fussed with the lacy hem of the light purple slip.

Just what I wanted to hear I thought. "Thanks Aunt Julia. Just what a teenage boy wants to hear," I protested.

"Oh don't be such a ninny. Learn how to take a compliment young lady. You will be getting a lot more of them as you grow up so take them graciously when given," Julia replied grumpily

I sighed and wondered why she was so grouchy. It must be her time of the month if women still have them at her age!

Julia held out Mums silk dressing gown for me to put my arms into and when on it embarrassingly floated femininely over my undies.

Aunt Julia tied a big flouncy bow in the front of the gown before hugging me and then forcibly pushed me down on a stool in front of mums vanity
table mirror. " Let's get your make up off and redo it."

Julia started removing the little make up I had on with make up remover wipes and when she finished she started making me up again starting with a concealer and a foundation, which she said closely, matched my natural colouring.

After finishing the foundation Julia took a break from my make up and started winding my hair onto the smallest of curlers " I think we will go
for a really pretty hairdo hon. Your Nan should see you at your prettiest"

I groaned however Julia took no notice as she continued putting curlers in my hair. I winced on a couple of occasions when she accidentally stabbed my head with hairpins.

"Ouch Aunt Julia. That hurt and the curlers are too tight," I cried out after she had stabbed me for a third time.

"Oh you little baby. All in the name of beauty Joanne so less of your moaning my girl."

As Julia continued her hair torture I became more and more depressed with the events of the last few days and was thinking about Martin and wondered what would happen to us both. Did we have a future as a boyfriend and girlfriend? Oh my god what was I thinking?

After a while Aunt Julia shook me from my thoughts

"Joanne, Jo. Are you listening to me? I said let's see if you can manage to wear these lovely shoes of mine." She gestured to my feet.

As I looked down I saw a pair of shiny black leather strappy shoes with incredibly high heels ready to be stepped into

"I can't wear those. I won't be able to walk," I moaned as Julia motioned for me to sit on the vanity stool

"Oh don't be such a baby Jo. There only four-inch heels. You are seventeen honey. When I was your age I was wearing heels a lot higher than these." Julia reminisced whilst placing one of my hosed feet into the first shoe.

My foot snuggled tightly into the shoe before Julia buckled up the two thin intricate straps across the bridge of my foot. Julia then repeated the exercise on my second foot before asking me to stand and try to walk in the shoes.

I struggled to keep my balance as I stood up and then at Julia's request I walked up and down my mother's bedroom trying to stop myself from falling flat on my face.

"See you are doing fine JoJo. In no time you will have them mastered," Julia gushed.

I felt myself blush as Julia called me JoJo.

"Right let's finish your face before you get your clothes on," Julia beckoned me back to the stool.

After another 20 minutes or so Julia had finished applying a mixture of purples, pinks and light blues on my eyelids and a hint of mauve/pink shadow just beneath my lower eyelashes. She had also blended in charcoal eyeliner on my upper and lower eyelids, which accentuated my eyes.

Julia pulled out a couple of errant eyebrows out.

"Oh don't do that Aunt Julia. My eyebrows need to grow back. Stop plucking them," I gently pushed her away in pain and fear.

"Oh you youngsters today. What I wouldn't give to have such shapely eyebrows as you Jo," Julia tutted whilst continuing.

"You can have them," I sulkingly replied as Julia then started penciling my eyebrows in again. How stupid is that I thought.

After battling with me over my eyebrows, Julia applied two coats of dark black mascara to my upper and lower lashes. After she had finished I
could feel the weight of the mascara on my lashes.

Julia then swept a light pink blusher across my cheeks, forehead and either side of my nose and finished off by applying lip liner, lipstick
and lip-gloss to my lips in a muted pink colour.

"So what do you think honey. Am I a marvel or what?" Julia praised herself whilst turning me to the mirror.

"Bloody hell is that me?" I stupidly exclaimed.

"It certainly is and don't swear. It's not clever for girls your age to wear Joanne. I think it's bad enough that Martin swears without you joining him," Julia told me off as again went red

"Your so cute when you blush Jo. If only Martin could see you now in your pretty underwear and cute dressing gown with your face beautifully made up. I think he would be blushing too," Julia teased.

"Oh don't say that Aunt Julia." I protested whilst looking down embarrassed fingering the silk bow of the dressing gown.

"Sorry Jo. Its just your growing up so lovely" Julia apologised.

"Let's get you dressed" She held up some clothes in front of me "You can wear this skirt and blouse. I think they will look really good on you."

Julia was holding a lavender coloured chiffon/crepe de chine camisole blouse with flouncy sleeves that I guessed would just about reach my elbows.

The blouse looked fairly plain however once Julia had carefully guided it over my curler covered head and onto my body it looked very feminine on me. Julia secured a single pearl button at the nape of my neck and the blouse loosely draped across my shoulders and upper body.

The blouse was very light. I felt like I wasn't wearing anything

Julia then asked me to step into a dark purple pencil skirt that had a single kick pleat at the back. The skirt was very tight fitting and I thought it had been designed to just about permit the wearer to walk. I thought I would never be able to run in this if I needed too.

Once Julia has pulled up the rear zip and secured the single button fastening of the skirt she proceeded to pull the camisole blouse and slip down through under my skirt to ensure that they both hung well.

"I have this great belt that will look great with the skirt and blouse," Julia pronounced whilst wrapping my waist in a fairly wide black and gold belt. She tightened the belt securely and in doing so accentuated my waist to its maximum.

At that moment I appreciated the lengths women went to look attractive

"Crikey Auntie Julia. I can hardly breathe," I cried.

"Oh stop with your moaning. You look great honey. Walk over to the large mirror and see for yourself." Julia giggled whilst grabbing my hand and pulling me over to stand in front of mums full length mirror on the back of her bedroom door.

My steps were severely limited due to the very tight pencil skirt and high heels I was wearing. Being lead by the hand by I felt truly defenseless and wondered whether this was how girls sometimes thought

When I looked in the mirror I was shocked by my reflection. A pretty young girl with tight curlers in her hair and an astonished look on her face stared back. I looked myself up and down a few times taking in my pretty hosed defined legs which ended in stylish patent leather shoes that really highlighted my small ankles.

The hem of the skirt rested just on my knees and flared out a little at the however the rest of the skirt from the waist to my knees accentuated my figure and seemed to make my bum look much bigger.

My waist tapered in under the belt and although it was painful to wear the belt this tight it certainly gave me a great figure.

My upper body was covered in the silky lavender camisole blouse that did little to hide the lace cups of my bra and silky bodice of my slip. The straps of both the bra and slip were evident to anyone looking closely enough.

"You are so pretty Joanne. Your Nan will be so proud of her granddaughter" Julia praised me "You are so brave and unbelievably natural honey."

I grimaced at Julia's words and just continued to stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"Come on babe. Time is marching on. We need to get your hair sorted before Uncle David drops you off down the hospital. We don't want to keep your mum waiting now do we," Julia rambled on whilst I tried to come to terms with my appearance.

As Julia started unwrapping the curlers from my hair I realised what she had said

"Uncle David's taking me to the hospital?, Can't you or Martin take me Auntie Julia? Uncle David hasn't seen me and he will have a fit when he does. He will think I am a weirdo," I cried.

"Of course he won't you silly thing. I have told David all about your situation and the last few days and he is looking forward to meeting the new you."

Oh please Aunt Julia. Uncle David can't see me like this. Why can't you take me?" I continued protesting whilst gesturing to the way I looked.

"Don't be silly. I will have to get on with Uncle David's dinner whilst he drops you off. As I have been helping you get ready I haven't been able to prepare anything and David has been at work all day and deserves a nice hot meal. You will understand that one day my girl," Julia answered with anger in her voice.

Despite being near to tears I knew I would achieve nothing by continuing to argue, as Julia was obviously annoyed at my apparent ungratefulness.

"Sorry Auntie Julia," I said trying to keep the peace.

Julia smiled and when she had removed the last curler she started to brush out my curly hair. I thought she had calmed down although I did think she was a little rough in styling my hair.

"Ouch," I moaned under my breath so as not to antagonize her further whilst on the verge of tears

Julia finally finished styling my hair and looking in the mirror I saw a very feminine style that was curly all over which curled under at my neck into a little bob. Julia slid a white tortoiseshell hair slide above each of my ears, which pulled my hair tightly back at the temples and then combed some bangs across my forehead before dowsing my hair in strong hold hairspray.

"Well what to you think Jo? Am I a genius or what?" she proclaimed looking for praise.

I didn't want to upset Julia further by moaning about my very feminine hairdo so simply responded, "Yes it looks great."

"She of little words," Julia teased. "Right let's sort out your jewellery hon."

Julia put rather large gold hoop earrings in my bottom ear piercings, which pulled my lobes down somewhat. She then attached small glittery purple heart studs in my upper piercings. The large hoop earrings danced around my neck as I moved and really hurt as they pulled on my ears.

Julia continued with her by putting a dainty watch on my left wrist and a number of gold bangles on my right wrist. She secured a gold heart necklace around my neck that sat on top of my silky camisole blouse. The heart resting in my apparent cleavage.

I thought Julia had finished however she started routing through mums jewellery box until she found three rings that she placed on fingers on both hands.

"Oh god," she screamed.

"What's the matter?" I asked nervously.

"We need to do your nails. We have gone to all of this effort and I have forgotten to polish your fingernails."

Julia had me again sit down at mums vanity table whilst she applied two coats of a pearly pink nail varnish to my fingernails. As she was doing so we managed to strike up a conversation about little Emily and Martin

Unbeknown to me I smiled when Julia mentioned their names and Julia had great pleasure in pointing this out to me, which resulted in my already coloured cheeks blushing even further

"Don't tease Auntie Julia. I just like being with them both" I protested whilst gushing about how lovely Emily was.

"Well god willing hopefully one day you and Martin will have your own children just like little Emily. You will be a great mother Joanne. I could see that today when you were looking after her. Not many girls your age have that maternal instinct."

I grimaced at Julia's words however didn't respond as she finished coating my fingernails with a final coating of nail varnish.

"OK right don't smudge your nails. We are nearly done. Just a quick spray of some smellies." Julia pronounced as she sprayed a strong perfume on my wrists, neck and hair, which resulted in me smelling of scented flowers.

As Julia cleared up she asked me to go downstairs and put the kettle on as she told me she was gasping for a cup of tea.

I had real difficulty going down the stairs in the tight pencil skirt and high heels and had to hold onto the banister with one hand whilst pulling up the hem of my skirt with the other to enable me to descend the stairs sideways without ripping the skirt. In lifting the hem I exposed the lacy hem of my slip. Oh why was this happening to me I fretted.

I put the kettle on and started making the tea being careful not to smudge my drying nails when Julia joined me in the kitchen. Julia continued to fuss with me to make sure that my blouse and skirt hung properly.

As I finished making the tea Julia checked my tights to ensure that there were no runs in them. Just as I sat down on the edge of the kitchen stool smoothing my tight skirt beneath me ready to enjoy my tea the doorbell rang.

I looked at the white face of the small gold watch on my small wrist and saw that the time was just after 6pm.

"Joanne I reckon that must be your Uncle David at the door. Please go and let him in love," Julia instructed me.

End of Chapter 19

Happy new year everyone xx

Mums Encouragement Chapter 20

I put the kettle on and started making the tea as Julia joined me in the kitchen.

Julia continued to fuss with me to make sure that my blouse and skirt hung properly. She checked my tights to ensure that there were no runs in them and just as I sat down to enjoy my tea the doorbell rang

I looked at the white face of my small gold watch on my small wrist and saw that the time was 6pm.

"Joanne that must be your Uncle David. Go let him in" Julia instructed me

I felt the blood drain from my face as I took in what Julia was saying "but Aunt Julia I can't be seen like this by Uncle David"

"Oh you silly girl" Julia moaned as she got up to answer the door

Julia answered the front door and gave David a warm peck on the lips as she let him in.

David made his way through to the kitchen and saw me sitting precariously on the edge of the stall and with his eyes on stalks asked "Joe is that you"

"I think so Uncle David" I responded not being able to look him in the eyes

I had always respected Uncle David when growing up, as he was the father figure I had never had. There were plenty of times in the past where he had helped mum out with jobs that she couldn't do like repairs to the car and he like Aunt Julia was an ever present in mine and mums life.

"Well well well. Julia said that you looked a picture but I would never have guessed you would look as good as you do" he said whilst shaking his head in bewilderment

I remained silent as David continued to look me up and down whilst scratching his head in amazement

Julia broke the silence " you two had better get going. David darling can I ask you to please get me a few things from Tesco on your way back"

"God Julia I have just got in from work. Couldn't you have gone shopping today?" David protested whilst never taking his eyes of me

"Crikey David its not much to ask. I only want a few things. Jo can run in for them for you and you can park outside and wait"

As they argued I looked from one to the other feeling like I was in a bad dream. They eventually agreed between themselves that I would go and shop whilst David waited outside. I apparently didn't have a say in the matter

"Ok that's settled. Come on Jo, lets lock up and go next door and I will sort you out a coat and handbag," Julia ordered whilst pouring her hot coffee down the sink as David continued to gawp at me

I grabbed my house keys and followed David and Julia outside. As I was locking the front door I felt the cold wind ripple through my thin blouse and around my legs encased in the fine denier tights

Once in Julia's warm house she ran upstairs and quickly returned with a black handbag and a jacket

"Here you go sweetie. Put the coat on as it's going to be a cold one tonight. I have put a few things in your handbag," she said whilst handing me the black quilted jacket and black handbag, which had long gold chain straps

I had a quick peep in the handbag and noticed tampons, makeup, hairbrush, hair pins and a purse amongst other women's things

I turned away from David's still prying eyes and put the coat on and pulled the zip up to cover my blouse and what I felt to be my exposed breasts

As Julia wrote a list of things that she needed I stood nervously clutching the straps of the bag as it swayed around my skirted knees

"Here you go Joanne. Only a few things to get" Julia exclaimed whilst handing me a scrap of paper with her scribbled writing on

I looked down at the list and amongst the 8 or so items listed were two very feminine items - Bodyform Maxi sanitary towels and a can of extra hold hair spray

" I can't get these Aunt Julia," I moaned whilst pointing to the towels on the list

"Why ever not? There easy to find in the store" she then proceeded to tell me where they were in the store and what the packing looked like

" Make sure you get the Maxi pads dear as I need them. Don't be embarrassed Jo. Periods are one of the ways we women suffer for our sins," she chuckled which made David laugh too

I almost died as she instructed me as if it was the most normal thing in the world to ask a 17 year old boy to buy her sanitary pads for her "But Aunt Julia I can't" I started to whine

" Oh stop being silly. Here's £20.00, put it in your purse before you lose it. It should be enough for the shopping. You can keep what's left over sweetheart"

Gee thanks I thought to myself whilst putting the note in the purse as instructed. I noticed in doing so that there was already another £10.00 note and lots of change in the purse but didn't say anything as I clipped the purse shut and put it back in the handbag

"Do your bag up love otherwise you might lose your purse. You youngsters don't have the brains you were born with," she teased

"When you two have quite done jabbering can we get a move on," David moaned whilst making his way to the front door

"You going to be ok Joanne?" Julia asked without waiting for an answer "you warm enough babe? Give my love to your Nan and your Auntie Heather" Julia continued gassing as I followed David out of the house into the cold night air

I instinctively hung the handbag over my shoulder so it rested down my side and tried to hurry after David down the footpath only to realise that I could barely walk in my 4" heels and tight skirt

"Wait for her David" Julia shouted at her husband only for David to get in his BMW and slam the door "he's an ignorant pig" she exclaimed as she stood in the doorway

"Get a move on Jo. You will catch a cold otherwise and we don't want to keep Mr Grumpy waiting do we" she smiled

I managed a weak smile and opened the car door and carefully lowered my bum onto the car seat whilst swinging my hosed legs into the foot well. I was quite sure that David was having a good look at my legs - like father like son eh!

On shutting the door I put my seat belt on and put my sweaty hands in my skirted lap not knowing what to say to David as he drove off

After driving for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes David broke the silence "why are you doing this Joe? It's not right," he said whilst gesturing to me

I didn't know what to say and started to get upset when David spoke again " oh don't give me the tears Joanne. You have been spending too much time with your Auntie Julia. That's her favourite trick when she isn't getting her own way. The water works! You women are all the same"

How I don't know however I somehow managed to compose myself, as I didn't want to go into the supermarket with mascara running down my face

David didn't say anymore as we drove to the store and in fact I think he softened at seeing me getting upset as I noticed he gave me a couple of weak smiles whilst looking across at me

I felt so small and insignificant at that point. My senses were working overtime as I smelt the hairspray in my hair, felt my bra straps on my shoulders and the bra enclose my chest, my skirt bind me and my strappy shoes make me feel like the epitome of femininity.

We eventually arrived at the Tesco store and David pulled up right outside in one of the collection bays

"Go one then. Go and get her stuff. Don't be long in there as I still need to drop you off at the hospital and I am starving. It's all right for you women shopping all day. Some of us have been to work," he snapped at me as I got out of the car as gracefully as I could in my tight skirt

Without thinking I straightened the pencil skirt before slamming the car door and walked into the store entrance. On entering I became aware of how bright it was within the store what with the fluorescent lights and just how busy it was with the evening shoppers

I grabbed a basket whilst precariously dangling my handbag over my shoulder and started walking the aisles only too aware of my loud high heeled shoes on the terrazzo flooring.

Oh my god. I wanted to get this over and done with so quickly and get out of there so at least one ordeal was over

I grabbed about 4 of Julia's items and as I turned the aisle into the feminine products aisle I was pleased to see that it was empty of shoppers. I eventually spotted the sanitary towels that Julia had told me she wanted however the lower shelves were empty only leaving the Maxi towels at a higher level.

I attempted to grab a box whilst stretching on the tips of my shoes and was just about to succeed in grabbing a pack when someone spoke behind me "here let me help you love" said a middle aged guy with his wife and young son in tow

"Eh thanks" I nervously responded as he handed me the box giving me a lovely smile

"Your welcome dear" he smiled as his wife stopped perusing the shelves for the towels that she no doubt needed for her periods and gave him a dirty look

I could just imagine what he was thinking as he glanced at the feminine box "heavy periods eh, bless her" I cringed as the thought went through my mind

Totally embarrassed I left the aisle and breathed a big sigh of relief as I tried to hide the towels with the bread and other produce in the basket. I had to undo my jacket as by now I was hot however I didn't want to take it off altogether as I didn't want to show off my flouncy blouse in its entirety

One more hurdle to go I thought as I approached the checkout. Find a checkout with an elderly woman behind it was my only thought, as I looked at the number of empty checkouts with bored staff awaiting their next customer

After weighing up my options and discounting tills with men and young girls manning the checkouts I found the aisle I wanted where a grey haired woman of about 60 sat staring into space.

As I loaded the goods onto the conveyor belt the elderly assistant spoke "Do you need any help packing miss?"

"Eh no thanks" I quickly responded

"Been at work today love?" she asked as she swiped the first of my items

"Eh sorry, eh yes, yes I have" I said without even thinking

"What do you do?" she asked being nosy

"Eh, erm I work at a hotel" I told her as I started packing the shopping in plastic bags

"Probably a better job than this" she moaned

I managed a forced smile however didn't respond as she swiped the sanitary towels "oh you have heavy ones as well do you love? I did before my hysterectomy. Good job men don't get periods otherwise the country would come to a standstill" she joked, as I stood there mortified and blushing by the second

"Oh your face has gone all hot love. You ok? You are too young to be having hot flushes. You want to sit down whilst I call for a supervisor to help you?" misses nosy enquired

I panicked "eh eh no, no I am fine. I just need to get home and kick off my heels and have a glass of wine" I smiled whilst really truly feeling unwell

"Sounds like a plan love. You do that. Let your boyfriend get the dinner on whilst you kick those pretty shoes off" she said whilst glancing over the conveyor belt at my shoes

"You know what? Like all us women the thing I most look forward to taking off when I get in is my bra. It's bliss taking it off after wearing it all day. Don't you agree love?

"Eh yeah guess so" I murmured back as I again forced a polite smile as I packed the last of my shopping and pulled my purse out of my bag to pay the nosy cow.

I thought to myself how could this day get any worse?

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 21

After I had finally completed bagging up Julia's shopping I politely said goodbye to Mrs Nosey and with a carrier plastic bag in each of my hands and with my handbag straps hanging off my shoulder I made my way to the exit, being careful not to lose my footing on the tiled floor in my unbelievably high heels.

As I got to the exit of the supermarket I saw that it was raining heavily and realised that my coat wasn't done up. I set my bags down and did up the zip of my coat, as I didn't want my flimsy blouse to become further transparent from the driving rain.

I stood there momentarily thinking I would wait until the rain eased up a little but realised that it looked like it was going to be in for the night. I thought I therefore had no other option other than to make a dash for David's car, which was about 50 metres away.

I pulled up the hood of my coat and in doing so caught one of my earrings. Oh the pain. I didn't want to make a scene and draw attention to myself so whilst quietly groaning at the pain in my ear I grabbed the shopping bags and ran

My dash for David's car wasn't exactly quick as I struggled with the tight skirt, shopping bags, handbag swinging at my shoulder and my lethal heels on the wet paving. I nearly slipped a couple of times over the short distance and was so embarrassed when I heard a young guy joke to his mate "look at that dozy mare in the porno heels. She is going to go arse over tit"

I didn't hear what his friend's response was however it was no doubt derogatory. I felt so vulnerable at that point and for the first time ever considered that in the eyes of some guys I was a second rate person who was only considered good for a shag.

On getting to David's car I tapped on the window of the front passenger door with my knuckles to get David's attention. No easy feat whilst still holding onto the shopping whilst the rain drove down saturating my hosed legs and shoes.

David lowered the electric window " well get in then" he gestured whilst pushing the door open and in doing so hitting my left knee

I struggled to open the door further and handed the carrier bags to David who unceremoniously dumped the wet bags on his back seat

"God, do you know how long you have been in there" he moaned as I struggled to put my seatbelt on over my coat

"It was busy in there Uncle David," I protested whilst unconsciously plucking my tights away from my damp legs to try to feel a little better about myself " I was as fast as I could be"

"Fast? Fast? Do me a favour" David angrily replied whilst driving off at a speed

I pulled my coat hood down and continued to fidget with my damp skirt and tights whilst we drove in silence

After a few minutes of silence I decided I would try and make conversation to try to lighten the mood "How is work Uncle David"

"Work? Bloody terrible" he angrily responded, "The new houses are taking an age to sell and to tip off a wonderful day I have had another bloody sales girl go sick"

David was a director of a small local homebuilder. He started to rant on how homes on a local development, that had just been finished were selling slowly. He let me know that two of the women who worked in the site sales suite were off sick with flu and one was on holiday on a cruise and he therefore had no one to cover the weekend

"Your Aunt Julia has agreed to cover Saturday and Sunday however I still need to find another person as she can't be on her own. She wouldn't be able to manage on her own. The weekends are the busiest days for viewings"

I knew that Julia often earned a little extra money by helping David out in times of holiday and sickness absence. That was when she wasn't already working part time at the Marks and Spencer's where Martin worked.

Me and my big mouth! Why did I bring up David's work? I thought the best thing to do was let David rant on whilst I sat in silence when he looked straight at me and asked, "Do you know anyone who can help out at the weekend Joe?"

"Eh no I don't Uncle David. What about Martin? Can he not help?" I asked

"No of course he can't. He is a guy and the sales girls need to be manned by women"

I found his response humorous and couldn't help but giggle

"What's do you find so bloody funny?" he shouted at me "I don't find it bloody funny"

"Eh sorry. I just thought th"

Before I could finish my sentence David spoke "What about you. Would you help me out? I will pay you"

"Err I can't. I am working Saturday" I answered somewhat relieved that I had a good excuse

"Well what about Sunday. I will pay you double time and cash in hand Joe" David almost pleaded whilst touching the arm of my damp jacket

"err err" was all I could think of to say

"Please Joe. You would really help me out and I would only then have to find someone to help Julia on Saturday" I sat there wondering what to say whilst David continued to put pressure on me

" Erm. I will think about it and let..." I tried to buy myself some time as David again cut me off

"GREAT. That's settled then. You can help Julia on Sunday. She can show you the ropes. Thanks Joanne, you are a real treasure" David beamed whilst lightly tapping my damp knee

I pulled my knees towards the car door as I felt David's hand on my hosed knee and feeling very uneasy I realised that David had called me Joanne for the first time. No doubt as I had half solved a problem he had.

"Your legs are soaking love" he exclaimed the obvious

"Err yes. About Sunday Uncle David I can't." Again I never had a chance to finish my sentence

"Don't worry love. Your Auntie Julia will show you what to do. She's a pro at sales and you never know you might be as good as her and get yourself a new career" David smiled

I didn't bother arguing anymore as David had obviously made his mind up and I decided that I would wriggle out of it later with Julia's help. I really didn't want to continue playing the female role and made my mind up there and then that as soon as I could get my hair cut, I would.

David's whole demeanor changed almost straight away and for the rest of the short journey to the hospital he was charming and didn't stop firing questions at me "So how are you getting on at the hotel? How are you and Martin getting on? Did you enjoy the football at the weekend? I hear you have an invite to Martin's best mates wedding" were a few of his many questions

I gave short responses to all of his questions including the one about Martin responding "yeah ok. He is a good sport and good friend"

"Just a friend? I think he thinks there's more to it than that. Are you going to be his date at the wedding next weekend love?" David put me on the spot

"Eh no I don't think so" was my short response

"Why's that? Thinking about helping your Uncle David out again at the development" he laughed

I cringed at David's probing questions and probably blushed, as I felt my self redden under his prying.

Eventually we arrived at the hospital and David pulled up as close to the entrance as he could

"I don't want our new sales girl getting any wetter and getting a cold do I" he joked as I thanked him for the lift "Seriously Joanne. I wasn't sure about all of this" he gestured towards me " however I think maybe your Auntie Julia is right"

Right? Right about what I thought to myself as I started to open the door

"Hold on a minute. Stay in the car" David shouted at me whilst he got out of the car

I sat there as instructed as David went to the car boot. On slamming it shut he came around to my side with an open umbrella and opened the door for me "Come on Jo. Quickly before you get any wetter"

As I tried to exit the car my tight skirt rode up my legs giving David a good peek at my slim legs right up to my thighs

"Eye eye" he joked "I am a bit old for you love, although you have made an old man very happy"

Without responding I blushed whilst pulling down the hem of my skirt whilst draping my handbag over my left shoulder and took the umbrella from David's offered hand

Without any warning David gently pulled me into him with his arm wrapped around my waist and gave me a light kiss on my cheek

"You are a really pretty little girl Joanne. If only I was 20 years younger," he teased whilst letting go of me as I hurriedly turned on my heels and walked in the direction of the hospital entrance

"Give my love to your mum and Nan" David shouted after me as I continued walking into the hospital through the driving rain

I didn't turn back as I was too embarrassed to do so and entered into the bright foyer. On lowering the umbrella I then noticed it was emblazoned in David's building companies logo.

I looked around for mum in the busy reception area and couldn't spot her anywhere. I looked at the small white face of my watch and noticed it was 7.05pm. I was supposed to have met her at 6.30pm. She wasn't going to be happy I thought as I wondered what to do.

Whilst thinking I looked around spotting some toilets and at that moment had the urge to have a wee. Out of habit I started for the men's toilets only to realise that I would get some funny looks going in there dressed as I was.

I therefore nervously entered the busy ladies toilets and had to queue until a cubicle became available. I proceeded to go through the major exercise that women have to face every day when doing something as simple as going for a wee.

Within two minutes I was sitting on the toilet relieving myself as one of hands held my skirt and slip up at my waist. I shivered as I looked at my other hand holding my knickers and tights at my knees and glanced up to my handbag and coat hanging of the cubicle door hook

After getting dressed and straightening myself out I collected my coat from the door hook and left the cubicle to find a number of women vying for the mirrors above the sinks. I managed to find a spot so I could view myself in the mirror.

The reflection in the mirror wasn't what I would class as " a really pretty little girl" thinking of David's words as I tried to pat my hair into some semblance of order. After getting my curly hair to behave to some degree I had a closer inspection of my face and without a second thought proceeded to touch up my foundation and lip-gloss.

After carrying out my ablutions I exited the toilet and again looked at my watch. It was now 7.16pm and I had spent 11 minutes in the loo. I thought to myself that I would never ever moan to my mum again about the time it took her in the toilets as I now had a greater better appreciation of what the fairer sex had to deal with.

I tugged at my skirt with both hands whilst my carrying my coat in the crook of my arm and dangling my bag across my shoulder. Women certainly had to be good at multi tasking I thought to myself.

I straightened one of my slip strap's that had worked itself from my shoulder and in doing so was now exposing itself beneath the sleeve of my frilly blouse as I wondered how I would find mum.

End of chapter 21

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 22

On looking around the large hospital reception I noticed a reception area where a middle aged woman in a uniform sat assisting people with their enquires.

I made my way over to the reception desk and stood behind an elderly gentleman who was asking about taxis.

When it was my turn the lady turned to me, smiled and said, "Can I help you?"

After explaining that I was looking for the ward that my Nan was on, she looked at her computer and advised that I needed Edmond's ward on the third floor

I thanked her and after about five minutes found the ward only to find the entrance door to the ward locked and an intercom that needed pressing to gain entry

I pressed the intercom and after saying who I was, I was allowed in however only got as far as a nurse's desk when I was again asked who I was visiting

I smiled nervously to the female nurse who looked like she was in charge

I explained who I was visiting as she studied me

"Oh right ok. I think your Nan already has two visitors and we do not allow any more than two at a bedside at any one time" she told me whilst walking off "Stay here and I will see what the situation is"

I watched her walk off in her ugly blue uniform as I stood by the nurse's station. After a few minutes I was starting to get anxious as I fidgeted with the straps of my bag that now dangled from my hands down to my feet. My shoes were now starting to hurt my feet and I was thinking how much I would love to take them off when I heard a recognisable voice

"I was starting to worry about you. Where have you been Jo" mum asked in a cross but relieved voice

As the head nurse looked on in a timid voice I responded " Sorry mum. I had to wait for a lift from Uncle David and then I had trouble finding you"

Mum looked me up and down, smiled and then told the nurse "This is my daughter Joanne. She is scatty as anything. Probably takes after me"

"You certainly look alike" the nurse responded with a smile before becoming serious in her tone "Only two can be at your Mothers bedside so I would ask that you take it in turns to see her. Your mother is very tired and we don't want to stress her out any further"

"Yes of course nurse. Jo can go in and see her Nan whilst I sit out here" Mum decided just as Aunt Heather came into view

"Joe. Is that you? Heather asked stunned

The nurse raised her eyebrow and seemed very interested in Heather's comment.

"My, my, how you have changed since I last saw you" She grabbed my hands and held them out horizontally at arms length to look at me and then all of a sudden she pulled me into her and gave me a big hug

"Last time I saw you, you were an unsure teenager. Look at you now all grown up and oh so pretty" Heather winked at me after covering her tracks with the on looking nurse

"Er thanks Auntie Heather. It's good to see you again" I blushed looking down at my feet as I nervously continued swinging my bag from side to side by its straps

In truth Heather had only seen me about six weeks before and I recall her telling me then that I should get my hair cut as it was too long for a boy. I wished I had taken notice of her

"I love your outfit love. Have you just finished work?" Heather said whilst taking in the clothes I wore

For want of a better answer I just answered " er yes. I didn't have time to change"

"Well you look very smart darling. Very professional" she gushed as she grabbed me by the hand and told mum that she was going to take me into see Nan.

Heather was still gushing over my appearance as she pulled me gently towards Nan's side room "Come on. Your Nan can't wait to see you" she said whilst giving my hand a reassuring squeeze " I can't get over how pretty you look Joe or is it now Joanne?

" Joe will do Auntie Heather" I responded whilst taking back my hand

" Whatever you want Jo" Heather said she opened the door to Nan's room and with her other hand on my back ushered me gently into the darkened room

I felt her hand touch the base of my bra through my thin blouse and shivered only to be brought to my senses by the scene of my grandmother lying poorly in a bed

Nan was hooked up to some machines that were occasionally beeping and as I took in everything I saw a small smile appear on Nan's face

I hung my still damp coat over a chair and put my bag on the same chair as I managed to croak "Hi Nan you look well"

I don't know, why but I tugged the hem of my skirt down to ensure it was straight and covering my slip as I walked to her bedside as Nan studied me

I couldn't help myself showing my true feelings and came over all emotional at the sight of my beloved granny lying in bed so obviously poorly. I fought to hold back my tears as I managed to ask, " How are you feeling?"

Nan offered me her right hand which I gently held as I kissed her gently on her cheek

"Oh could be better kid" she lovingly smiled, as she looked at me "What about you Joe? Quite a few changes since I last saw you youngster"

I was on the verge of bursting into tears "Yes I guess so Nan. It started as a dare. It's only a temporary thing. Don't you worry about me. I want to know how you are. Are you going to be all right? I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as my emotions overcame me

" Oh there, there" Nan pulled me into her for a hug " Don't get upset sweetheart. Your mascara is running" she chuckled " I am going to be fine. You know your old Nan. Just over doing it as usual"

Heather looked on as Nan spoke "Heather get Jo a tissue to repair her make up. We can't have you looking a mess now can we" Nan joked whilst obviously concerned about me

Heather dabbed my cheeks with a tissue and gently wiped under my eyes "Come on Jo let's be strong for your Nan. She doesn't like seeing you so upset" she tried to calm me down

I tried to smile however I hated seeing my lovely Nan in such a poorly state. I broke down again choking out the words" Are you going to be ok Nan? Promise me you will be. I love you so much, I..." I wasn't able to continue with my pleading as Heather wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a loving hug

"Oh bless you babe, Nan's going to be ok. Aren't you mum?" Heather asked her mum as she too started to get teary eyed

Nan managed a little smile and in a small voice said "Oh you two. You're as bad as each other"

"Look at you both blubbering" she giggled, "I am going to be just fine. Come on girls calm yourself down. Let's have a chat with the new addition to our family" Nan teased as she looked lovingly at me

Heather managed to compose herself however I continued to sob on Heather's shoulder as I looked at Nan in her bed. I was so worried at the thought of losing her. She was my world.

After small talk between the three of us for a few minutes I was still very upset and kept wiping tears from my cheeks when Heather announced

"Come on Jo. Let's use the bathroom to clean you up" Heather took me by the hand and led me into a small bathroom that served Nan's room

She whispered as she closed the door behind her

"Come on Mum doesn't want to see you this upset. It's upsetting her seeing you like this, especially as she can't get out of bed to give you a big hug" Heather tried to calm me down whilst she rubbed my back in soothing circles through my silky blouse.

After a couple of minutes I managed to calm down a little as Aunt Heather announced

"I never thought I would say this to my Nephew, but lets sort your eye make up out. You have ruined it Jo," she giggled, which made me chuckle and brighten a little

Heather got her handbag from Nan's room and upon returning told me to put the toilet seat down and sit on it. She cleaned up my eyes and cheeks before applying a small amount of eyeliner to my eyes and a little blusher to both of my cheeks

" That's so much better honey. I don't think we can risk using any mascara in case you start blubbering again," she teased as she finished off

" Er no Auntie Heather" I smiled seeing the funny side of her comment

I straightened my clothing by tucking my loose blouse into the waist of my skirt. I pushed a stray hair behind my ears as Heather watched me

"You are a natural Jo" she said whilst tapping my nylon covered knee " I always wondered what it would have been like to have a niece to spoil. Looks like I have one, if only for a short period of time" Heather joked as she pulled me up from the toilet seat

As I stood trying to get my balance on my high heels I worried more about Nan than Heather's comments and couldn't wait to leave the bathroom and rejoin Nan

I smiled lovingly at Nan as I went to her bedside and took hold of her hand "I love you Nana. Sorry for getting upset"

Nana! Where did that come from I thought to myself. I had never called her that. She was always Nan or Gran to me

She rubbed the back of my hand with her fingers and in a gentle voice said, "That's better Joe. I love you smile. It brightens up my day. So much better than those silly tears"

"Sorry Nana" I again apologised as I lay my head ever so gently on her chest

She stroked my hair and whispered to me " You are growing up so much little one. I remember you when you were a little baby tottering around learning to walk"

" Not a lot of difference to now" I joked motioning to my shoes as I pulled myself up so as not to stifle Nan "These shoes are killing me"

Nan and Heather giggled at my joke

"They are high aren't they love. I used to wear shoes that high when I was your age Joe. No doubt I was trying to impress the fella's" Nan reminisced as both Heather and I laughed

"Oh that's so much better. The two of you laughing. So much better than the tears. Anyone would think I was on death's door"

"Don't say that Mum" Heather admonished Nan

"Oh do be quiet Heather. Stop fussing love. I am going to be ok" Nan told Heather in no uncertain terms and then turned her eyes turned to me and more so my feet

"Take your shoes off if they are hurting" Nan instructed, "It's silly to be putting up with the pain"

I didn't need asking twice as I sat down in a dark blue plastic chair. I reached down and unclipped the straps of both shoes and pulled them off " agh that better" I said as I rubbed my nylon covered toes

Both Nan and Aunt Heather gave a knowing smile as Heather said "Welcome to the world of women babe" she laughed to herself.

Nan told me to slip on her fluffy slippers so my feet didn't get cold on the lino covered floor. I did as I was told and smoothed my skirt under me as I again sat in the chair, which I had pulled up next to Nan's bed

Nan asked me about the previous few days and my exploits. She and Heather sat in silence as I told them about work, the photo shoot, the wedding party, little Emily and going to the football with Martin

After I had condensed the last few days into 5 minutes or so, the questions started flowing with both Nan and Heather asking me a lot of probing questions

Heather asked me how I felt about wearing girl's clothes. I told her that I was feeling rather silly wearing them although the clothes didn't feel too uncomfortable with the exception of bras and heels

"You got that right kiddo," Heather nudged me as Nan smiled and asked me about Martin

I answered as honestly as I could telling her I didn't know what I felt. I told her I was confused about my feelings and didn't know what Martin thought of me

Heather spoke up "Take it from me love. From what you have said he fancies being your boyfriend Hon"

As I felt myself blush Nan told me "What will be, will be. Let nature take its course love. Don't over analyze the situation. It will sort itself out one way or the other"

"Analyze? Listen to your Nan come out with big words Joanne" Heather teased Nana

Nan took Heather's banter in good spirits and smiled "Anyway you look lovely darling. Where does that blouse come from? It's really pretty"

I looked down at my blouse noticing the two mounds that gave it shape "Erm I'm not sure Nana. It's one of Auntie Julia's"

Well tell her its lovely and ask her where she got it. I wouldn't mind getting one myself when I get out of here" she said whilst admiring it in detail

"Mind you, don't you be wearing it without a slip or camisole underneath young urn as it's rather see-through" she told me whilst obviously seeing the outline of my slip

I cringed " I won't Nan. I probably won't be wearing it again anyway"

"Why not love? It looks really great on you and the colour really suits your skin colouring" she gushed

After about 20 minutes or so Heather left the room to find Mum, leaving Nan and me alone

"So tell me Jo. Are you happy love?" Nan asked with real concern in her voice

Not wanting to worry her I responded, " Yeah, why wouldn't I be" I lied

"You would tell me if anything was up wouldn't you Joe" she probed

"Of course Nana. I'm fine honestly. We should be worrying about you and when you are getting out of here" I brushed off her concerns "I will be back to good old Joe when I get my hair cut

"Is that what you want Joe" she asked, " Do you want that?"

Before I could answer Mum came into the room

"So what have you two been talking about then?" Mum teased as she noticed me wearing Nan's slippers

Without allowing either of us a chance to answer her question she asked "What are you doing wearing Mum's slippers Jo?"

"Her feet were hurting honey. So I told her to slip her shoes off for a while and give her tired feet a break" Nan answered for me. I noticed that she had referred to me as her!

"Well put your shoes back on love and say goodnight to your Nan. Its nearly time for you to go"

"Me to go Mum? Aren't you coming with me," I asked concerned

"No I am going to spend a little more time with your Nan. I will see you at home later"

"But how am I going to get home Mum" I asked worried about the answer.

"I have just called Auntie Julia and she has arranged for Martin to come and pick you up. Now hurry up as he will here soon," She told me whilst pulling Nan's slippers off and starting to place one of my shoes on my feet

"Martin? Can't you take me home mum" I pleaded

"No I am staying here for a while longer. Martin will get you home safely love"

"Can't I stay until your ready to go then Mum?" I reasoned

"No best you get off home so Nan can rest. Anyway haven't you got work tomorrow? What time do you start?

"Eh, erm 7am I think" was all I could think to reply

"Well its already gone 8.30 and by the time you get home it will be well after nine. Make sure you get all of your make up off before going to bed" She instructed, " Make sure you cleanse your face properly as we don't want you getting spots darling"

"Yes Mother" I sarcastically replied which made Nan giggle

"HEHE teenage angst. Now you can see what I had to put up with you and Heather when you were both Jo's age" Nan teased mum

"Don't encourage her Mother" Mum protested "Joanne finish putting your shoes back on" as she took her frustration out on me

I managed to get my shoes back on and then stood unsteadily until I managed to get my balance

Nan smiled watching my little Bambi act " You have such beautiful legs Jo. They are so slim and toned" Nan complimented me.

I smiled back at her, not wanting to let on that I didn't appreciate her well intentioned compliment "Thanks Nan"

After kissing Nan goodnight, Mum helped me on with my coat and kissed me on the forehead and told me to run along, as Martin would know doubt be waiting outside the hospital for me

" Give Martin my love honey" Nan called after me as I started for the door

I turned and caught her impish grin "I will Nana. I will. Love you lots"

"Love you more my little one" she replied whilst blowing me a kiss

I blew her a kiss back as I tottered out into the corridor to see Auntie Heather speaking to a good looking fit male nurse. Fit nurse! Was I losing my mind?

"Oh here she is" Heather announced to the nurse " This is my niece Joanne. Isn't she going to break some hearts"

I cringed and felt myself blush as the male nurse smiled at me and said "Pleased to meet you Joanne. Your Aunt wasn't lying when she told me you were a pretty thing. I can't believe you haven't yet got a boyfriend"

Without thinking and worried that I was being set up I blurted out "Actually I have got a boyfriend. He is waiting for me outside so I must rush"

I kissed a bemused Heather on the cheek as I hooked my handbag over my shoulder and after kissing mum and saying "see you later Mum" I walked towards the ward exit as fast as my heels and tight pencil skirt would allow me. My heels click clacked on the highly polished floor at each of my small strides

I giggled to myself at the thought of the poor nurse looking at my tight skirted bum and I mischievously exaggerated my walk somewhat by putting a little wiggle into my walk

I thought two can play at your game Auntie Heather. I was brought back to my senses as I reached the lifts as I realised that maybe I did have a boyfriend after all waiting for me outside

End of Chapter 22

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 23

As I waited for the lift to reach my floor I reflected on the evenings events. I was really upset to see Nan so weak and wondered what she thought of me dressed as I was.

The lift seemed to be taking an eternity to arrive and a lady who was also waiting commented upon this

"Three lifts and not one of them coming to this floor" The lady moaned as we both stared at the indicator panels showing one lift on the lower ground floor and the other two on floors seven and eight

She smiled at me " I think I will take the stairs. It doesn't look like the lifts are working properly. We will both get grey hair waiting here"

Despite being depressed I thought her comment amusing, as her hair was already grey. I estimated that she was properly about Nan's age and thought if she was going to take the stairs at her age then I should do so also

"I think your right" I politely responded and followed her through a set of double doors to the stairwell

The lady started her decent and joked "It's a lot easier going down than coming up ducky"

As I started down the stairs I thought to myself "easy for you to say. Your not the one wearing high heels and a tight skirt"

I gingerly took a stair at a time as my heels click-clacked on the tiled floor. My tight skirt ensuring I descended almost sideways to ensure that the slit in my skirt didn't split

As I completed about ten stairs I realised I was already a full landing behind the lady as she effortlessly made her way down. Other people using the staircase glided past me effortlessly, which made me appear to be moving at a snails pace

As I concentrated on my descent not wanting to slip and make a scene, I thought to myself why do women wear restricting clothes and shoes like these.

Was it any wonder that women were nervous walking the streets alone at night? They wouldn't stand a chance getting away from any potential attacker dressed as I was.

My thoughts worried me as I thought of myself walking down darkened streets as a vulnerable defenseless female. I knew I wouldn't be able to defend myself dressed as I was. I thought with my small frame and lack of muscle I probably wouldn't even be able to defend myself as Joe.

I was so relieved that Martin was hopefully waiting for me outside. I thought however that perhaps I should start going to the gym to beef up.

It would have been quicker to wait for the lift as the stairs took me a good few minutes to navigate. Upon finally hitting the ground floor I walked through the main reception heading for the exit and on a couple of occasions sensed at least two men obviously checking me out

A shiver went through my spine as I realised they were admiring me for the wrong reasons. I wondered how women ever got used to this pervy attention.

As I exited into the cold air I looked around for Martin however couldn't see his car. A good few minutes went by as I sheltered under the canopy to the hospital entrance. It had stopped raining however it had turned really cold. My legs were really cold. My fine tights were hardly any defense against the cutting wind

As I was wondering where Martin was and I was deliberating on whether to go back in to the hospital when Martin's car came into view.

As soon as he pulled up I hurried as fast as I could to the warmth of his car

He gentlemanly leant across the passenger seat and pushed the door open as he saw me mincing towards him. Without thinking about being ladylike I got in the car and threw my handbag in the footwell as I shivered

"Brrrrr, God it's bloody freezing out there. Where the bloody hell have you been?" I screamed at him as the evening's events obviously got the better of me

"Good evening Martin. Thanks for picking me up" he sarcastically responded which made me go red. He had a huge grin on his face. He knew he had embarrassed me

"Er yes, erm, I'm sorry Martin. I am like a block of ice. Feel my hands. Can you please get me home" I sheepishly apologised as he grabbed my hands to warm them up. I realised I shouldn't be venting my anger on him

"Don't worry babe" he winked at me "buckle up"

I pulled the seat belt across my chest and felt it across my left false breast and moved the belt down a little so I was more comfortable

His comment and wink incensed me "Don't babe me Martin. I'm know ones babe" I moaned still annoyed at my lot

"God what's got up your goat? You can't help some people" he retaliated

Before we knew it we were having a big row as I moaned about my shoes, cold hands, cold legs, the time it took him to collect me and just about every other moan I could think off

After listening to me rant on for a couple of minutes Martin could take no more

'You miserable cow. What is your problem? Time of the month?" he shouted at me as he drove like an idiot

" Don't be such a prick. Period? You jerk" I screamed at him " You are such an idiot at times. Slow down otherwise you will kill us both"

My comments incensed him even more and it made him drive even faster. I was really scared as I gripped my seat as we went around country bends at silly speeds

"What the fuck do you know about driving you stupid little girl? When you can drive you can comment on my fucking driving" he shouted across at me.

I had never seen this side of Martin before and it frightened me. I thought it best not to prolong the argument and didn't say another word the whole way home.

After a few minutes silence between us, his male ego calmed down and he slowed to a reasonable speed having obviously vented his anger through his erratic driving.

I was really upset however I was determined not to cry again that evening and show Martin he had won.

I could sense him looking across to me as I stared out of my side window. I sensed he wanted to say something however he didn't

As we drove into our street I unclipped my seatbelt before the car came to a halt and was waiting for the car to stop so I could make my escape when Martin spoke up

"Jo I'm sorry I a..."

"Don't Martin. I don't want to hear it" I cut him off in a high pitched upset voice "just let me out"

Martin knew that I was upset and reached across and grabbed my arm as I exited the car not in the most demure of ways possible as my skirt rode up my thigh. I shrugged his arm away and slammed the car door as I threw my blasted handbag over my shoulder

Martin turned off the cars ignition and quickly caught up with me as I rushed down my pathway as fast as my heels would allow me " Bloody heels" I cried to myself as I felt a tear run down my cheek

"Jo, come on let's be friends. I'm sorry. Honestly I am" he tried to apologise

"Come next door. Mum's put some dinner aside for you"

"Oh go away. Leave me alone will you. You eat your mum's fucking dinner" I was now blubbering like a little girl as I struggled to get my words out " Leave me alone"

"Jo. I'm sorry. I love you. Please give me another chance" Martin seemed as upset as me, although he wasn't crying as I was

After finally succeeding in getting the key in the door I managed to get indoors without Martin following behind me. I heard his upset voice through the door as I slammed it shut. I turned my back to the door and slid down it until I was crouching on the doormat almost in a feotal position, my skirt nearly splitting at the seams.

My mind was in turmoil as I burst into tears and recalled his words "I love you"

HE SAID HE LOVES ME!!!!!

End of Chapter 23

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 24

After about 5 minutes of lying against the front door sobbing and feeling totally miserable, I hauled myself off of the hallway floor and threw my handbag across the hall towards the stairs in a fit of temper. Even my attempt to throw the bag onto the stairs was a failure. I missed the bottom of the stairs by a few inches. I even threw like a girl!

It's not my handbag I thought. The contents aren't mine and I don't need one. I am a boy and should start acting as one, I angrily thought to myself as I looked in the large hallway mirror only to see my make up in disarray and my cheeks covered in tear stained mascara.

As I looked at myself in the mirror I automatically pulled down my tight skirt, which had indecently, rode up to mid thigh. My head was in turmoil as I half turned and looked in the mirror back over my shoulder to ensure that my skirt hem had fallen to a decent level.

What was I doing I thought. Am I insane? Why was I assessing myself? What does it matter where the hem of the skirt fell?

I looked in the mirror assessing the freak, which was me. I hated what I saw however couldn't help myself thinking that the girl looking back as me looked so sad yet so innocent and pretty. Who was she? Was she truly me?

Why was I so emotional? Why had I lost it with Martin? He was doing me a favour picking me up wasn't he? Why did I behave as I did?

Did he really say he loved me?

"Oh my god he said he loved me" I screamed aloud " He can't love me. It's wrong" I started crying again as I picked up the handbag and started to precariously make my way up the stairs on my thin heels.

As I got half way up the stairs I was startled when the doorbell rang. I stopped in my tracks and waited. The doorbell rang again followed by someone knocking on the door

"Jo are you there love" it was the voice of Aunt Julia

I didn't respond and froze on the spot hoping that Julia couldn't hear me

" Jo come on open the door. I know you are in there. Martin told me everything that happened. Do you want to talk honey"?

I just wanted for her to go away and leave me alone so stayed silent

" Come on Jo. I am not leaving. If I have to stay here knocking on this door all night until you open the door, I will"

"Martin said you were really upset. He is so worried about you. I am worried about you love. Please let me in. Let's have a chat"

"He is so sorry and wants to make up with you"

I couldn't stay silent any longer " Please go away Aunt Julia. I want to be left alone"

"Oh thank god. I was really worried when you weren't answering. Let me in Hon" Julia sounded relieved

"No leave me alone. I want to be alone" I screamed instantly feeling guilty as I did so. It wasn't her fault that she had an idiot for a son.

After a few minutes it was obvious that Julia wasn't going anywhere as she pleaded to be let in. I finally gave in to her pleas and opened the door

As soon as she opened the door she took one look at me and wrapped her arms around me pulling me into her

"Oh my poor love. He has really upset you hasn't he" Julia gently spoke as she hugged me dear

As she did I again broke down in tears only this time uncontrollably as I let out all of my pent up emotion

"There there honey. Let it all out. Have a good cry. You will feel so much better afterwards" She tried to reassure me.

I tried to respond however couldn't speak through my sobbing

"Come on lets go and sit down" She guided me to the sofa in the lounge and sat me down "Come on lets get you comfortable then we can have a chat"

Over the next 20 minutes or so I relayed the evenings events to Julia including my upset at seeing Nan so poorly and my argument with Martin

As I spoke Julia unstrapped my shoes and released my aching feet from their restraints. I continued talking as I unconsciously started rubbing my sore feet through my fine tights.

"Here let me do that dear" Julia said as sat down beside me and pulled my ankles around onto her lap and started massaging my feet as my skirt again rode up to mid thigh showing the lacy hem of my slip and an expanse of pretty leg - my pretty leg!. What was it with this bloody skirt I thought?

Julia's hands felt so soothing as I continued to unburden myself of the evening's events. By the time I had finished I had run out of tears and just felt shattered.

"Let's get you to bed baby. It's getting late. Are you working tomorrow?"

I responded that I was and that I had an early start. With that Julia swung my feet onto the floor and told me to go and have a hot shower whilst she made us both a nice cup of hot chocolate.

I didn't need asking twice as I wanted to get out of my clothes.

I left Julia in the kitchen as I went up to my bedroom and started undressing being careful not to damage my tights as I carefully rolled them down my silky legs. After removing my blouse and skirt, I stripped off my slip and bra.

I thought "oh how right was the old biddy at the supermarket when she said it felt so good to take your bra off at the end of the day"

I removed my bracelet and watch and as I struggled to undo the small clasp of my necklace I felt the large hoop earrings tug on my ear lobes. I unclipped the posts holding the hoop earrings and removed them from my lower lobes instantly feeling better for doing so. I don't know why but I left the smaller earrings in.

I was now naked apart from my knickers and wrapped myself in my blue toweling robe - Not mums - Mine! And made my way to the bathroom across the landing

Before getting in the shower with Mum's advise ringing in my ears I pulled the two hair slides from my hair and covered my hair with a clear shower cap so I didn't end up with frizzy hair in the morning

Before getting in the shower I looked in the bathroom mirror and noticed the red welt marks on my shoulders and back where my bra had rested. It did feel good to be freed of it. Oh how women suffered for their boobs!

After a relaxing hot shower in which I scrubbed my face of the make up that I wore, I dried off and then pulled on some underpants and put my dressing gown back on.

I glanced in the mirror as I removed my shower cap as my tight curly hair bounced freely. I sighed deeply as I took in the reflection of a pretty young teenage girl. She had a pretty face that wasn't totally devoid of make up, she had sultry eyebrows and her ears were adorned with small pretty earrings

As I brought my hand up to touch my face I was again taken aback my little pearly pink varnished fingernails. I recalled my mum once saying my hands were like girls as they were so small. Her hands were bigger than mine and Mum was only a little lady.

I was too good looking to be a boy. Everyone thought I was a girl. Was I really a girl inside and just didn't realise it until the events of the last few days.

I was so confused. Martin had said he loved me. How could he love me when he had treated me so badly earlier in the evening? Did I love him?

No I didn't I decided. He was horrid to me and I couldn't love someone who had scared and upset me so much. I did like him though and didn't want to lose his friendship

As I looked in the mirror playing with my curls, my mind wandered and I thought of the coming days. Should I go to work as Joe or Joanne in the morning? How could I get out of helping Uncle David on Sunday when I would again need to be dressed as a girl? Did I want to be Martin's guest at Caroline and Paul's wedding? Oh I didn't know what I wanted

Aunt Julia calling from the bottom of the stairs disturbed my thoughts

" Come down Jo love. Your chocolate is going to go cold"

End of chapter 24

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 25

I made my way down the stairs to find Julia making herself comfy on the sofa

"Feel better love?" she asked whilst looking me up and down

I couldn't look at her in the face as I replied "Much better thanks. Sorry for making such a scene Aunt Julia. I feel so silly"

"Oh don't worry hon. It's good to have a good cry at times. Your Uncle David is always driving me to tears" She told me whilst giving me one of biggest smiles "My hormones are all over the place"

Her smile made me smile. I tucked my toweling dressing gown under me as I sat opposite her in the armchair

" You know you have such a lovely smile Joe. You should smile more often as it really becomes you love," Julia told me as she passed me a hot chocolate

"Thanks Aunt Julia. You don't have to stay you know. I am fine now and Uncle David is probably wondering where you are," I told her hoping that she would leave me alone

"Oh don't worry about him. He probably hasn't even noticed I have gone. He was stuffing his face in front of the television watching a boring gangster film. No doubt Martin has joined him. I don't get those films sweetie. I bet there not your kind of thing either Joe, are they?" She asked

"There ok I guess" I shyly responded thinking to myself that they weren't really my kind of thing

"Come over here love. Let me give you a cuddle" she said whilst holding out her arms gesturing for me to join her on the sofa

I didn't protest and got up and sat next to her on the sofa curling my legs under me

Julia pulled me into her as I sat beside her and squeezed me affectionately around my waist before starting to play with my hair

I loved my hair being tickled and relaxed into her more with my head finally resting on her bosom

"You are still so young baby. You have your whole life in front of you. I really envy you hon" she sighed whilst wrapping my curls around her fingers

I really enjoyed her fingers playing with my hair and before I knew it I had drifted of to sleep

I awoke with a start when I heard the front door close

"Err what's happening?" I asked in a daze trying to wake up

Mum came into the living room and smiled broadly at Julia and I curled up on the sofa

'Oh crikey we must have dozed off" Julia responded whilst stiffeling a yawn

This made me yawn also "What's the time" I asked still half asleep

Mum looked at the clock above the fireplace and then said "Time you should be in bed young urn. It's nearly midnight"

She came over and gently kissed my forehead and teased, " You looked so cute the pair of you sleeping away there. I didn't want to wake you"

Julia gently pushed me away as she stood up " I better get home. You never know David might be missing me," Julia laughed whilst stretching her arms in the air

" Yes and you little one had better get of to bed if you are going to get any sleep" Mum motioned to me to get up " Before you go to bed though we had better roll your hair otherwise it will look a right mess in the morning"

I groaned at being called little one and protested, " Mum do we have to do my hair. I'm tired and want to go to bed"

Mum ignored my plea as she plonked her bag on the table and took off her coat

I didn't have the energy and therefore just walked over to Aunt Julia and gave her a peck on the cheek "Thanks Auntie for giving up your evening for me" I said as she gave me a tight squeeze

"Oh don't be silly. I am just glad you are now ok honey" she smiled "Get yourself off to bed babe if you have any chance of keeping your guests in check tomorrow Joe"

Mum interrupted "Today you mean Julia" Looking at the clock that had just hit midnight "She is going to look a right mess if she doesn't get her beauty sleep"

Oh thanks mum I thought. I'm a mess now am I?

I kissed mum goodnight and made my way up the stairs whilst waving goodnight to Julia

"Sweet dreams JoJo" Julia lovingly said as she made her way to the front door

Once upstairs I brushed my teeth in the bathroom and sat down on the toilet for a wee. On exiting the bathroom I heard Mum and Julia still talking in a whisper at the front door

I couldn't hear everything they were saying however heard my mine and Martin's name mentioned and the words shame and cute.

I crept closer to the edge of the stair banisters so I could eavesdrop better

"Claire, Jo was in such a state when I came around earlier. She was really frightened by Martin's stupid actions. Why are guys such berks at times" Julia questioned

" All that testosterone I guess Jules. Makes them act like apes" Mum laughed" Jo will be ok in the morning once she has managed to get some sleep. I might call her manager in the morning and say she's not feeling well. I think she is shattered seeing her Nan in that hospital bed and anyway I could do with her help with a few chores around the house

"Good idea Claire. It wouldn't hurt for Jo to miss work for one day"

After a few more words they bid each other good night and as mum closed her door I tried to creep along the landing to my room only for the floorboards to creak under me

"Have you had a good listen Jo?" Mum shouted up the stairs " Seeing as you are still awake, I will be up shortly to roll your hair"

" Mum I wasn't listening and I don't want my hair played about with. Anyway this isn't any point if I am not going to work tomorrow" I protested sulkingly

" So much for not listening you little moo," Mum giggled as she came up the stairs

I felt myself go red, as Mum knew all along that I had been listening into hers and Julia's conversation

" I am off to bed mum" I turned to walk away

" Oh no you don't Jo" mum commanded, "I am going to do your hair but before doing so you need to remove the rest of your make up. Otherwise you will get ugly spots," Mum commanded

"But Mum I have cleaned my face" I sulked as mum took my hand and guided me into the bathroom

"No buts, sit on the toilet seat" she told me as she lowered the seat down " Let's clean your pores. If you don't clean your make up off properly of your face you will regret it in later life honey. Believe me"

Mum spent a good five minutes using make up remover lotion and cotton pads cleaning my skin, eyelids and lashes. I was amazed at the additional dirt that she managed to remove from my face

" See what I mean Joanne" she lectured whilst showing me the dirt deposits on the cotton pads " If you don't clean your face properly of make up you will get blackheads and no one will fancy you when you have spots dear"

I grimaced at her mini lecture and her addressing me as Joanne. I didn't want anyone fancying me and anyway I wouldn't be wearing make up anymore I thought to myself

"Now wash your face with warm water and then pat your face dry. Then apply this cream to your cheeks, neck and forehead," she told me whilst handing me a bottle of Nivea cream

After doing as I was told she told me to join her in her bedroom

" Before we start on your hair let's get you in to your nightwear Joe. It's getting late" she instructed pulling out something from her wardrobe

"I am ready for bed mum. This will do," I protested motioning to the terry dressing gown I wore

" That old thing? Take it off and put this on" she instructed me as she passed me a silky garment "This will feel much better to sleep in"

I reluctantly grabbed the silky material from her and saw that it was a pale rose coloured nightdress. I held the little nightdress out at arms length as if it was contaminated

"Oh don't be silly. It won't bite you. Get that dressing gown off" Mum commanded as she started pulling the dressing gown from my shoulders and took the nightdress from my hand

As my dressing gown dropped to the floor she saw I was wearing underpants "What are you wearing those horrid things for? Take them off and I will get you some proper knickers to wear"

I blushed as she turned away from me and pulled some knickers from her bedside cabinet drawer. They looked like they were the same colour as the nightdress and I soon found out that they were.

I turned my back on Mum and embarrassingly pulled my underpants off and taking the knickers from her quickly stepped into the little silky garment and pulled them up to my waist. I then noticed that the knickers were actually a g-string. I found that they were edged in black lace at the waistband and leg openings

" That's so much better Joanne" Mum smiled as I felt the g-string go into the crevice of my bum. I wriggled to get comfortable whilst pulling the string away from my bum

"Oh stop fidgeting and put your nighty on" mum instructed me whilst slapping my hand away from my posterior and handing me the nightdress.

I took the intricate nightdress from her and was figuring out how it went on when mum hurried me along "Come on you are acting like an infant. It's really late and we still need to roller your hair. It goes on this way"

Mum motioned for me to sit on the edge of her bed as she lowered the nightdress over my head. As I stood up the nightdress settled about my body and I felt the thin straps of the nightdress settle on my shoulders and against my bare upper back

"Oh it looks lovely on you honey" mum gushed as she played with the lacy hem of the overly feminine nightdress "you look so cute and virginal honey. Well apart from that horrible love bite on your neck" She stated

I had forgotten about the love bite until mum had brought it up as I thought it had faded enough

Mum must have read my mind "Yes your Nan and Aunt Heather both noticed the bite on your neck" Mum teased " Nan reckons you are too young to be hanging out with older guys like Martin and I have to agree with her, although Heather reminded me that I was just like you when I was your age, flirty and chasing the fellas and always receiving love bites" mum reminisced as I groaned embarrassed

"Have a look in the mirror and tell me that you don't look better in the nighty than that awful dressing gown" she challenged

I looked in her long mirror and saw my reflection. The nightdress was very silky and a feminine pretty pink colour. It had thin single spaghetti shoulder straps and on glancing over my shoulder I found that four further spaghetti straps adorned my bare back from the nape of my neck to the small of my back. The bodice was covered in fine intricate black lace.

The hem of the nighty was also covered in black lace approximately three inches wide. The hem only reached mid thigh on me which showed of my silky hairless legs

The garment felt really soft and luxurious and although I would never tell Mum, it did look really sexy on me as it exposed my bare shoulders and arms. I did however feel very vulnerable and naked

"I guess its ok," I said even though I secretly loved it. It was similar to a slip and made me feel awfully feminine as the silk contoured my body

"Its ok? Nonsense, It looks wonderful on you princess" mum gushed whilst straightening out the spaghetti straps that adorned my upper body "You look so cute. I don't think you appreciate just how beautiful you are. Must be my genes "Mum laughed

" Anyway stop admiring yourself in the mirror you vain little thing" Mum laughed "Come and sit at the vanity whilst I curl your hair"

'Mum can't we do it in the morning. I am so tired I..." before I could continue my protest mum cut me off

"Joanne do as you are told and stop arguing. You can be a right little cow at times. I won't tolerate it" Mum admonished me "Stop being selfish. If you hadn't noticed, I am also tired what with being at the hospital all day and yet I am still willing to do your hair before we go to bed"

Losing the will to argue I sat on the stool at mum's vanity in silence as the lacy hem of my nightdress rode up to my upper thighs. I tried to pull the flimsy hem down as far as I could to protect my modesty without any success

Mum slapped my hands away "Stop being a prude Jo. It's only us girls. Be proud of your lovely legs. I wish I still had legs like you. You just wait until your older and you have cellulite. Then you will wish you could turn back the clock and show of those shapely pins of yours"

"Sorry mum" I said too tired to argue as she started covering and pinning my hair in small purple hair curlers. In doing so tugged my head this way and that way

After a while I cheekily stated," I don't think I will be getting cellulite when I am older Mother"

" Oh is that so. What makes you so special Joanne? All women get cellulite as they age. What makes you think you are any different missy?

I sat there staring at my glossy thighs, knees and ankles taking in my varnished toenails and thought "what makes me any different? Are you for real mum? As she continued to torture my hair

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 26

I woke with a start as mum was gently shaking my arm " Joe you ok? You are having a nightmare sweetheart"

I pulled myself up from the bed and leant on my elbows looking around my bedroom that was now lit by my little bedside lamp. I squinted at my clock to see it was 3.24am

"Erm what's happening mum?" I asked confused and upset as a tears rolled down my cheeks

"There, there. You were having a nightmare sweetheart. Everything is going to be alright. You were screaming out and woke me" mum told me as she wrapped her arms around me, hugged me and then started gently rubbing my back in circular motions comforting me as I felt her soft hands through the flimsy nightgown I wore.

" What was I shouting?" I croaked my mouth dry

"I am not sure love. I couldn't make out more than the odd word"

" What words mum" I asked looking into her concerned face

"Erm, oh I don't know. A few words I think I picked out were Martin, Sunday and something about a wedding. You planning to get married honey without telling your old mum" she teased me as she gently ticked me in the ribs

"Oh don't mum. I'm tired," I grumbled pulling away from her whilst yawning

" Your tired? Mum chuckled " Your the one that woke me up you cheeky little moo"

Mum gently embraced my cheeks with her hands and then gave me a little kiss on my forehead. "Do you want a drink baby before you go back to sleep?"

I shook my head as I laid back down in my bed as mum pulled my duvet up over me, just leaving my spaghetti strapped shoulders exposed. I felt the dig of a hairpin in my head, which mad me scream out "Ouch. That bloody hurt"

"Jo less of the bad language" she reprimanded me "It's not nice to swear. Do you want your light off dear?"

" Mum, erm Mum...." I hesitated

" What is it Jo?" Mum asked concerned

" Mum will you sleep in the bed with me?" I asked, "I am worried I will have another nightmare"

"Aww my sweet baby. Do you know you haven't asked me that since you were about seven honey? Theirs me thinking that you are growing up so quickly and you just made me realise that you are still my cute innocent JoJo. Why don't we go get in my bed. Its bigger"

Without having to be asked twice I spun my legs out of the bed and followed mum to her bedroom as the hem of my nightdress swayed about my smooth legs as I walked

Mum took of her dressing gown and hung it over her dresser chair and got in one side of the bed as I got in the other

"Want a cuddle honey?" mum offered, as we got comfortable under the sheets

Eh yes ok mum" I nodded still a little shaken by my nightmare

"Turn over then" she told me as she turned out her bedside lamp. I turned my back to her and she cuddled into me, our silky nightdresses touching each other. It was all very innocent and at that point in time, I felt very young, protected and loved

We lay there for a few minutes not speaking, when mum asked

"What you thinking love?"

"Err I don't know mum. I was just thinking about the last few days and what it means. I am a little scared"

"Scared. Scared of what? You have your whole life in front of you baby. I wish I was your age with everything that you have to look forward too" mum squeezed me tight

"You have so much growing up to do JoJo. Before you know it you will be seriously courting, getting married and bringing up a family of your own. I often dream about your wedding day and how you will look on your special day"

I wondered what mum meant by that. Did she mean how I would look in a tuxedo or in a wedding dress? I wasn't sure and didn't want to ask

" I remember my wedding day so vividly honey" Mum reminisced wistfully "Your dad looked so handsome in his suit and I felt like a princess. Nanny and Granddad brought my wedding dress and I felt so pretty and special that day. I still have the dress in the attic. I will have to show you it honey. It's so romantic"

She paused before saying "You will experience your own special day, one day soon honey"

"Not anytime soon mum" I responded which resulted in mum giving me a little squeeze

" You never can tell sweetie. Things can happen so fast when it comes to love. You can't control it. Before you know it you will be planning your wedding day and not long after that, god willing you will be making me a grandma" Mum giggled to herself obviously happy with the thought " You will make such a wonderful parent. Auntie Julia told me that you were so good with little Emily"

"Maybe Mum," I said whilst smiling to myself at the thought of cheeky Emily

"Have you ever thought about having kids Joe" mum asked

I didn't respond as mum continued asking questions "I would have liked more babies if it had worked out with me and your dad. I would have loved a boy as well as a girl. I was in labor with you for 18 hours and when you eventually popped out you were the most precious little thing. All the nurses said so"

"I wouldn't want you in labor anywhere near that long honey" mum sighed " I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was so painful. If I was going though child birth now, I would ask for all the drugs I could get sweetie" mum giggled

Mum continued to talk about maternal matters such as breast feeding. Thankfully I eventually managed to block her out as I drifted off to sleep

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 27

I woke to find mum wasn't in the bed. As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I remembered some of the dream that had followed my nightmare. It was quite clear and a little worrying.

In my dream it was my own wedding day. Mum, Auntie Heather and I were in a hotel room somewhere. They were both helping me into a white silk wedding dress embroidered with lots of intricate lace. My female body was encased in a tight white basque that enhanced my boobs and pulled in my waist. The suspenders of the basque held up white stockings that were slid into really high white silk heels.

Heather was doing up the small pearl buttons on my dress that started at the top of my bum and continued to the nape of my neck whilst asking how I felt. I remember telling her that I was really nervous and felt light headed. She responded by telling me that was probably my morning sickness taking effect

I tried to remember what happened after that however couldn't recall anything which really frustrated me. Who was I marrying and how could I be pregnant? I really need to see someone I thought to myself

I was lost in my thoughts as mum startled me when she entered the bedroom with a mug of tea and some toast " Here you are baby. I thought I would treat you to breakfast in bed" she smiled

"Err thanks mum," I said as I sat up in bed " I could do with a cup of tea"

Mum went to get her own tea as I continued to analyze what my dreams meant. I took a sip of my tea as mum came back into the bedroom and nearly spat the liquid out " Ugh this is horrible Mother" I exclaimed with disgust

Mum laughed as she got into bed beside me

"It tastes horrible. You forgot to put sugar in Mum"

"No I didn't" she replied "I think you and I need to go on a bit of a diet and we can start by cutting out sugar. You have too much baby fat hon.

"What? No I haven't," I protested

Mum cut me off "Just drink it and stop whining Joe" Mum changed the subject "Seeing as I am letting you get out of work today, are you going to help me with some Christmas shopping"

"Erm. Do I have to" I said as I touched my head covered in tight curlers " Can I get these out of my hair and just have a lazy day Mum?"

"No I have lots to get and you will be another pair of hands. You can give me some ideas on what I can get family and friends. I could do with getting some shopping as well"

As mum rattled on I looked at my nails that held my tea and saw perfectly manicured and painted talons.

Mum smiled "They look lovely don't they honey? You have such pretty hands"

I put my tea on the bedside cabinet and dropped my hands into my lap whilst grimacing at mum's remarks

"I think we should go to that large shopping centre in Essex. I don't want anyone from your work bumping into us you seeing as you are supposed to be off sick" mum contemplated the day ahead

"Whilst you were asleep I phoned Mrs Benson and told her that you had a tummy ache and you wouldn't be in today.

" What did she say Mum. Was she angry" I asked

" No she was fine. She sends her love and wishes you better soon. She says she wants you back as soon as possible as you are one of her best workers. I do hate telling Lies Jo" mum said whilst sipping her tea

Mum grimaced as she drank the tea from her mug

"I told you it tastes horrible mum," I laughed

Mum smiled "It will be worth it when we can both fit properly into our clothes honey. I noticed at the hospital that the skirt you were wearing showed a little too much tummy. Auntie Heather said that you looked a bit bloated at the waist. It won't hurt you and me to go down a size. We can support each other honey"

I grimaced and turned red at Mum's remarks. I didn't response as she wasn't to be questioned when she was in this type of mood

"I tell you what we will do" Mum excitedly announced, " When we are out later, I will buy us both something that is a size to small. It can be our little target to get into our purchases. Perhaps when we reach our target weights we can have a special evening out together at the theatre or a nice meal somewhere posh. How's that sound Jo?"

"What are you thinking of buying me Mum" I nervously asked

Err I don't know. Let's have a lovely day out shopping. Just you and me. The other day I saw something in Debenhams and thought it would look really lovely on you. Maybe you can wear it on Christmas day if we can really stick to our diet" mum smiled to herself without letting me know what she was thinking of buying me

I wondered what my wonderful mother was plotting now?

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 28

After a few more minutes talking about the day ahead, mum announced that she was going to have a shower and that when she was finished I should have one to.

Mum planned our day ahead" If we aim to leave at say 10am we can miss the rush hour traffic. You can drive if you like honey."

I thought that was a great idea and thought better of the day ahead

"Anyway you have a little bit more of a lie in whilst I have my shower Joe" mum told me as she went into her en-suite bathroom

I didn't need telling twice and actually fell asleep whilst mum was in the shower. I woke when she shouted that I should get a move on

"Make sure you put the shower cap on over your hair Joe. I haven't got time to mess about with your hair this morning" she instructed me " Also shave any hairs you may have on your legs'

" Why Mum? I am not wearing a skirt today" I protested

" I wish you would stop arguing with me and do as I say Joe" Mum said somewhat annoyed "I will find you something nice to wear for our little outing. You just get in that shower"

I couldn't be bothered to argue and did as I was told. The hot water really felt good against my smooth skin. I could only find a couple of fine hairs on my legs, which I shaved off.

After about 15 minutes mum knocked on the bathroom door " Come on you. You will get all pruney. Get a move on"

I got out of the shower and wrapped my towel around me as mum had previously shown me and then walked into my bedroom where I found what mum intended me to wear today

I protested straight away " Mum can't I wear boys clothes today?" I asked as I looked at the lingerie on my bed

"Joe I think you will struggle to pass as a boy at the moment with your hair looking as it is" Mum dismissed me

"Well you are going to take my hair out of the curlers aren't you mum" I reasoned

"Of course I am Jo. I am not having you going out in curlers like a common washer woman" Mum laughed out loud " What sort of Mum would I be if I let my child do that"

The doorbell rang as we continued to discuss whether I was going to wear the underwear.

"Whose can that be this early in the morning?" mum queried as she looked out of the bedroom window to our pathway below "oh its Auntie Julia"

Mum ran down the stairs dressed in her dressing gown as I slumped on the end of my bed looking at the white bra, matching knickers and white half slip. I also noticed a pair of opaque black tights still in an unopened packet.

Was she serious about me wearing all of this? I guessed from the slip lying on my bed, that Mum was intending for me to wear a skirt again. I was thinking how I could tackle the issue with Mum when I heard her close the front door. Mum came running up the stairs

"That was your Auntie Julia" Mum told me what I already knew. What is it with adults stating the bloody obvious I thought?

"Why aren't you in your undies darling" she asked

Before I could answer she waved some clothes in front of me and announced, " Look what Julia has brought around for you"

I continued to sit on the edge of my bed wrapped in my towel as mum placed all the clothes on the bed behind me and started routing through Julia's donations

"Look Jo, she brought around the uniform you will need to wear when you help her on Sunday. Isn't it lovely honey?" she gushed as she held in front of me a clothes hanger with a pillar box red coloured skirt suit draped from it

"Oh I guess this is the blouse that goes with it," she said whilst also holding up a white long sleeved blouse that had little red diamond patterns on it

"Isn't it pretty? You will look so smart wearing this" she gushed whilst admiring the suit and blouse together

"You haven't got time to try it on now," Mum told me disappointed

Thank god for small mercies I thought to myself as Mum continued looking through the clothes

"You will have to try it on later to see if it fits honey" she continued rambling as she picked up a pair of red heels

"Oh look at these Joe. Aren't they so lovely" she bent down and waved the red heels in front of my bare feet

" We have time to see how these fit honey. Here give me your foot," she said whilst grabbing my left ankle and starting to place my foot in one of the shoes

Within a few minutes I was wearing the red shoes, which had heels about 3 inches high. They were made of soft red leather and the heels themselves were really thin. The shoes had thin straps, which were adorned with single big red ornamental buttons that fastened around my ankles

"Try walking in them Joanne to see how they feel" she told me whilst pulling me to my feet as I held my towel around me and grimaced at being called Joanne

When I managed to find my balance Mum told me to walk up and down to see how the shoes felt on

"They are a little tight Mum. The straps are digging into my ankles," I moaned

Mum kneeled down and squeezed her finger between the heel of my foot and the inner lining of the shoe

"They will be fine dear once you are wearing tights with them. I have seen Julia in her uniform plenty of times and I think she always wears black tights. I guess that's the regulation uniform Jo. We will have to ask her so you don't stand out for the wrong reason" Mum reasoned whilst I questioned her sanity.

I couldn't be bothered to argue and dejectedly sat down on the edge of my bed and un-strapped the dainty shoes whilst carefully holding my towel around me.

Mum continued looking through Julia's hoard of clothing as I tried to protect my modesty.

As I struggled to undo the little straps, Mum excitedly held up two garments and announced "These will be great for you to wear to the shops today"

I looked up at the clothes she was holding up against her as she looked in the mirror and saw that she was holding a black and white check skirt that didn't even reach her knees. Above the skirt she held a black chiffon blouse to her bust

"Oh Jo isn't this sweet. I do hope it fits you. Put your undies on so we can see how the blouse and skirt look on you baby. Get a move on. I will go and put some washing on whilst you get dressed honey" She instructed me as she thrust the skirt and blouse in my lap

As she left the bedroom, her words still ringing in my ears, I examined the pretty blouse. It was sleeveless and made of black chiffon. The ten or so little buttons up the front of the blouse were black pearl and it looked like the buttons went right up to the collarless neckline. The blouse had ruffles either side of the buttons and ruffles finished off the collar and sleeveless arms

I looked at the skirt. It looked really small. I thought it would be tight on whoever wore it. It wasn't lined and there wasn't anything about it apart from the black and white check pattern that covered it from the waist to the hem

I can't wear this I thought to myself. It's too short. Too short? What am I thinking? The reason I shouldn't be wearing it is because I am a boy and not my mother's clotheshorse. I wasn't going to wear it. I had to grow some balls and stand up for myself.

I played with one of my earrings as I looked at the clothes and to my dismay thought that the blouse and skirt would probably look cute on me.

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 29

I had thankfully finished dressing as mum came back into my bedroom without knocking

"How are you getting on love?" Mum asked, as she looked me up and down

"Oh my god. Bless you" she sighed, "You can't go out dressed like that"

"WHAT? You told me to wear these Mother," I argued gesturing to the blouse and skirt I now wore "

Mum laughed, " You are so sweet and innocent. You really have a lot to learn honey. You can't go out wearing a white bra with a black blouse Joanne. Everyone will be able to clearly see your bra darling"

"For gods sake, make your mind up will you. You told me to wear the underwear," I shouted back at mum whilst stomping my foot hard on the floor

" Don't you dare speak to me like that. Less of your hissy fit my girl" Mum shot back at me really annoyed at my outburst " You're not to old that I can't take you over my knee Joanne Moore"

I couldn't believe how I was being spoken to by my mother and started to stride from the room when Mum grabbed my arm and spun me around almost knocking me to the floor

Where do you think you are going you spoilt little girl? You really need to grow up," she screamed at me as she stood in front of me blocking my way from leaving the room " I told you to wear the white underwear before we decided you should wear the black blouse"

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her bedroom and positioned me in front of her full length mirror " Do you really want to go out looking like that" she asked annoyed

I looked in the mirror and saw what mum was on about. The white straps and cups of my bra were clearly visible through the chiffon blouse. I looked a bit of a tart especially with the shortish skirt that only fell to mid thigh on me

"Do you think that's a classy look for a teenage girl?" Mum asked obviously demanding a response from me "You are not leaving my house looking like that"

"But you tol.." I started to protest getting choked up as I failed to get all of my words out. I felt a tear run down my cheek

"I despair. Stop blubbering. Your not eight my girl. Look at your slip. It looks silly. Can't you see it's much longer than the skirt?" she pointed at the white slip that was a good two inches longer than the hem of my skirt

"Stop being ditzy Joanne" Her hands grabbed my shoulders and then she started unbuttoning the tiny buttons of my blouse. She unceremoniously slipped the blouse of my shoulders and turned me around and unclipped the hooks of my white bra

I covered my bare top half with my arms and stood there watching as she went to her bedside drawer. After a few seconds of routing around in the drawer she dangled a black bra in front of my face and then slid it up my arms and over my shoulders and fastened it in the back.

The satin and lace bra was back all over apart from a little pink rose decoration that nestled between the two cups. I felt the underwired bra tighten around me as mum adjusted the straps.

"You will need to wear a camisole as well. The blouse is a little too transparent for my liking," she told me now in a much quieter and calmer tone

I thought "Well why are you having me wear it then if its see-through?" I didn't understand her logic

Mum went to another drawer to find a camisole

"Oh this will do so much better" she exclaimed whilst holding up a black satin garment

As it dangled in her fingers I saw that it was a really pretty piece of underwear, which I guessed was a camisole

Mum went behind me and unbuttoned my skirt and pulled down the little zip "Pull your skirt and slip down Jo" she told me

I didn't argue and pulled the skirt and slip down letting them fall to the floor

As I stepped out of the skirt and slip, I thought for a moment that she was going to allow me to wear a pair of trousers. My hopes were dashed very quickly when she told me to step into the satin garment that she held at my feet

"Lets see how this chemise looks on you honey" she said as she pulled the satin thing up over my hips and chest before working the tiny spaghetti straps onto my shoulders

She fussed with the straps and bodice of the chemise, which now pretty much covered the black lacy bra.

"That's better. The hem looks about the right length for your little skirt to cover it ok" she spoke to herself as she played with the lacy hem of the chemise

Mum helped me pull the tight skirt on again and after fussing to make sure the hem of the chemise didn't show beneath the skirt sung " oh that is so much better honey"

Her hands reached up under my skirt and pulled down the tails of the blouse. She then turned me to the mirror telling me that I now looked really cute.

Mum disappeared off again as I looked at myself in the mirror.

I did look good I thought. The blouse was still see-through however my underwear wasn't now showing as much as before. You could still see the muted outline of the bra and chemise straps through the blouse, however they weren't as obvious as the white bra. You could clearly see the lacy bodice of the chemise however it seemed to look ok under the blouse

I thought my legs looked really good in the tight skirt and shiny black opaque tights I wore. Pity I wasn't admiring my girlfriend I mused lost in another world as mum again started fussing with me

In no time she had secured a wide purple belt around my waist and had me step into matching purple court shoes that had a heel of about two inches high

Mum fussed with the ruffles of the blouse around my neck and around my armholes before telling me that we were missing something

"Missing what?" I asked almost to frightened to find out

"Your boobs honey. You look too flat chested"

I groaned. I looked flat chested for a good reason I thought to myself as mum found the water filled balloons. After unbuttoning the top few buttons of my blouse, she tucked and positioned the cold balloons in my bra cups before again doing up my blouse to the neck

Mum gave me a big hug and looked me up and down

"You look really trendy Jo. Let's get you hair and make up sorted then we can hit the shops for some retail therapy.

Mum's Encouragement Chapter 30

For the next 15 minutes or so Mum unclipped and removed the curlers from my hair and styled it so it curled under at the nape of my neck. She created a lot of body as she put it, with a curling tong and hairspray. When I looked in the mirror, I again saw a mass of girly curls, which shouldn't belong to a boy

Mum then did my make up. As she applied it she step by step showed me what she was doing. I sat in wonder at her dressing table watching her in the mirror as she applied concealer, foundation, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, blusher and finally lipgloss to my face.

I was astounded at how easy my face could be transformed from a very plain boy to a very pretty girl. Even if I say so myself

"You really suit make up honey" Mum gushed, "Your eyes just cry out for shadow and mascara"

I didn't have the words to respond and sat there staring at my reflection

Mum finished fussing with me after she had sprayed some perfume on me

"We are running late Jo. Whilst I get myself ready will you do me a favour and clean up the breakfast things and get the washing out of the machine and hang it on the airer"

I nodded without speaking and went downstairs to the kitchen. My heels clicked on the tiled kitchen floor as I carried out the tasks mum asked of me. As I hung the few clothes across the airer in the utility room I nearly jumped ten feet in the air when I heard the doorbell ring.

I had no intention of answering it and hid in the kitchen hoping whoever it was would go away. After they again rang the bell, Mum shouted down the stairs "Jo get the door will you. I am expecting a parcel and that probably the postman"

I heaved a big sigh and walked across the hallway and opened the door and gingerly peeked out

I was startled to see Auntie Heather standing on the doorstep

"Oh you are in then. I thought I missed yo... " Heather started saying as she made her way into the hall. She then realised that I and not Mum had answered the door " Jo I wasn't expecting you to be at home. I thought you had work today"

"I should be at work Auntie. Mum said I could have the day off if I helped her with the shopping" I blushed as Heather took in my appearance

"Looks like you are going shopping as Joanne then" Auntie Heather stated as she put her arm around my waist and guided me into the living room "You look smashing Jo. So grown up"

I didn't know what to say and to enable me to escape I asked Heather whether she wanted a tea or coffee

"Oh that would be lovely hon" she beamed at me "Got any biscuits to go with it"

Auntie Heather loved her biscuits. Considering how slim she was they didn't appear to affect her weight

" I think we have some chocolate biscuits," I told her as I left the room to escape her eyes gaze"

I didn't escape from her for long as I had only just finished putting the kettle on when she appeared in the kitchen "I love how you have done your hair Jo. It looks really nice. It suits you"

"Ehh thanks Auntie" was all I replied

"I take it you are going shopping dressed liked this" She gestured to my clothes
"Seeing as you have gone to such effort with your make up, hair and clothes. Your blouse and little skirt look lovely on you Hon. Did you choose them?"

"Mum chose it all Auntie. I had nothing to do with it" I meekly replied as I waited for the kettle to boil, as I balanced on my heels, crossing one foot over the other

I didn't know what to do with my hands and clasped them in front of me feeling very shy as Heather continued her praise of my appearance

"You really do have great legs Joanne. It's such a shame that you cover them with trousers so much? She smiled

The kettle started boiling which enabled me to look away from her as she continued chatting. I was thankful that she had changed the subject from me to Nan. As we were talking Mum walked into the kitchen

"Hi Sis. I wasn't expecting you" Mum smiled whilst giving Heather a hug

"I thought I would pop in and see what you were up to today. I need to get out. I keep thinking of Mum if I have too much time on my hands. Jo tells me you are going shopping. Mind if I tag along?" Heather asked

"Of course you can. You finish your tea whilst Joanne and me finish getting ready" Mum said as I passed the mug of tea to Heather

"Make yourself at home Hettie (Mum's per name for her sister). We wont be long Sis," Mum said as she took my hand in hers and guided me up the stairs behind her

When we again in her bedroom she asked me "You haven't got a problem with your Auntie joining us have you honey?

"Err no why should I? Why don't you both go and have a sister's day out. I don't mind staying at home," I suggested hopefully

"What and deprive Heather a day out shopping with her favourite niece" she teased

" She hasn't got any other nieces" I started to argue before realising what I had said

End of Chapter 30

Sorry for the delay in posting these latest chapters. Life has been very busy of late, but really good. I hope you enjoy. Please leave your comments.

I hope you all have a lovely joyous Christmas and a happy and very healthy 2018

Hugs
Lucy x

Chapter 31

Leaving Auntie Heather in the kitchen, I followed mum to her bedroom where she started going through her large wardrobe

"I know they are in here somewhere," she mumbled to herself.

After about 3 minutes of searching as I looked on bored, mum excitedly proclaimed, "Here they are. These will look great on you babe" as she held up a pair of black boots

The boots mum proudly held in the air were what I now know to be ankle boots. They were black leather with a heel that looked about 3 inches high

"I bought these a while ago, but couldn't get on with them as the heels are a little high for me" she said as she handed me the boots

"Mummmmmm if they were too high for you, how am I supposed to get on with them" I protested in a high-pitched voice, as I took the little boots from her

"Anyway, I thought I was wearing these shoes" I said pointing to the purple shoes currently on my feet

"Just try them on to see how they fit honey," Mum told me whilst putting a comforting hand on my cheekbone "I do hope they fit. They will look really cute with your little skirt"

I let out a large sigh of exasperation and again defeated, sat on mum's bed and in doing so noticed I had without thinking smoothed my skirt under me as I sat on the edge of the bed.

I undid the straps of the shoes and slipped them off, before pulling the left boot over my hosed foot. After a bit of a struggle, I did up the little zip that ran down the side of the boot. I noticed that the top of the boot only reached my ankle, realising why they call them ankle boots

I soon had the other boot on and Mum pulled me up from the bed and onto my feet. I quickly found my balance as mum helped steady me

"Oh they are not that high Jo" Mum exclaimed, "girls your age wear boots a lot higher than these. Try walking around in them"

I did as I was told and tentatively walked around her bedroom. I actually found the boots quite easy to walk in. I thought they were a lot easier than the boots I wore when I went to the football with Martin. They actually felt quite comfortable and I liked the style with their pointed toes.

As I stared down at the boots, I thought of Martin and wondered what he might be up to now. I guess he was at work. Was he upset with me? Why was I thinking of him? He meant nothing to me

Mum disrupted my thoughts "The boots look great Joanne. They really set off your little outfit. You look really trendy honey. Your legs are to die for. You look so sweet in your skirt and pretty blouse. Can you see how much better your skirt looks now that you have swapped the slip for the chemise"?

"No I can' t see it Mother" I responded confused

"Exactly sweetie. You can't see the hem of the chemise. That's the whole point"

I blushed as Mother played with the hem of the short skirt. After fussing with the skirt, she reached in my blouse and positioned the shoulder pads so they sat properly on my shoulders. When she had finished messing with my blouse, she again went to her wardrobe and returned a few seconds later with a pale pink garment

"Here put this on over your blouse," she ordered as she handed me a little cardigan. I held up the soft garment in front of me and noticed that it had a little collar. I found out later that the collar was called a Peter Pan style. What a stupid name I thought. The cardigan also had shoulder pads and four tiny white pearl buttons down the front

I pulled the soft baby pink cardigan over my bare arms and settled it on my shoulders before positioning the Peter Pan collar around my neck

"Here, let me help you" mum offered as she sorted out the little shoulder pads sewn into the cardigan. She then buttoned the two lowest shiny pearl buttons, before standing back and admiring her project

"Pink is a great colour on you Jo. You should wear it a lot more honey.

I blushed at being called honey and the thought of wearing more pink. I then questioned why I had to wear the cardigan

"Isn't the cardigan a little too much Mum? My shoulders look enormous now with the two sets of pads"

Mum laughed "No they don't. You look very Dynasty baby. Like a mini Joan Collins" she gushed

"Oh thanks a lot mother. She's ancient," I groaned, hating how she had just compared me to the elderly Dynasty actress.

"Ancient?" Mum laughed, "Give it a few years and I bet you wish you could look as good as she does now when you are her age"

"REALLLLLLY? I don't think so Mother " I moaned whilst pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear

Mum watched my feminine action and smiled at me " Will see love. I know it's hard to imagine yourself getting old. Listen to your old mum, when I tell you that before you know it, you too will be middle aged. It soon creeps up on you love and you will wonder where the last 20 years went"

"I remember your Nan having a very similar conversation with me when I was about your age" Mum remininiced

"Mother you are getting boring" I sulked as I crossed my arms over my false breasts

Mum found me very amusing "Boring? you cheeky so and so. The cardigan looks lovely on you. You will thank me later for making you wear it Jo. It's cold out and you will get goosebumps if you go out just wearing your sleeveless blouse"

"It's not my blouse," I protested as I fidgeted with the scalloped edge at the bottom of the cardigan

Mum disregarded my moans "Oh stop being awkward Joanne. What does it matter whose blouse it is? It looks really nice on you it and finishes off your outfit"

"My outfit?" I again moaned feeling really sorry for myself

Mum raised her voice "Oh will you stop answering me back. Start acting your age. You are not 12 you know," she angrily told me" It won't hurt for you to look nice for a change, whoever's clothes they are"

Knowing I was testing her patience I didn't respond to her stupid rant. I knew I couldn't win when she was in her stupid "Grown ups are always right" mood

Over the next 5 minutes or so Mum finished getting me ready as she put a couple of gold bangles on my left wrist and a tiny pearl bracelet on my other wrist. The bangles and bracelet were quite loose and I found it irritating how that they kept slipping up and down my wrists as I moved my hands and arms. I tried to tuck them under the tight sleeves of my cardigan, however they still kept breaking free, moving on my wrists

"Stop fiddling with your bracelets" mum told me as she gently slapped my hand. She then had me lift my hair from the nape of my neck to enable her to clip a delicate pink and silver necklace around my neck. The chain of the necklace rested between my false breasts and hung from it was a small silver heart.

Mum fussed a little more with my make up and hair and then told me I was almost ready. She then sprayed a sweet smelling perfume on my wrists. I looked at the fancy bottle as she put it back on her dressing table and saw that it was called some pretenscious fancy French name

"Take these and go down and see if your Auntie is ok. She must be wondering what we are up to," Mum told me as she handed me a black coat and a multi coloured floral scarf

I took the silky scarf and woolen coat, left her room and carefully descended the stairs as fast as the little ankle boots would allow me. I was again quite surprised at how comfortable the boots were despite the heel height

I walked into the kitchen and found Auntie Heather had finished her coffee and was sitting at the kitchen table reading one of mum's women's magazines

On hearing my heels click clacking across the kitchen floor, she looked up from her magazine and smiled "Oh hi Jo. I thought you had both gone shopping without me"

She looked me and up and down and then told me "I love your boots. They really make your outfit honey.

Are you wearing L'Amour Jo? She asked as she sniffed the air

"What" I questioned not having a clue what she was on about

" Your perfume Jo. Is it L'Amour?"

I shrugged my shoulders not knowing the answer " I don't know Auntie. It smells horrible doesn't it"?

"No it smells lovely babe. I tried some on in a shop the other day. Shame, the price put me off buying it. It's a lovely smell"

Heather rose from her chair" Give us a twirl Jo so I can get a good look at your outfit"

" A what?" I asked wondering what she was on about

Heather laughed " A twirl love. Turn around so I can see your whole outfit"

I begrudgingly did so for a quiet life

Heather frowned "I think the cardigan's a little too precious Joanne. It doesn't go with the rest of your look. Was it your idea to wear it or your mums? She asked

"What do you think Auntie?" I protested in a squeaky high-pitched voice " I would hardly volunteer to wear all of this, would I?" I sulked throwing my hands down to my sides in exasperation. "What do think? What is it with you stupid adults? It's not my look"

Heather was taken back by my outburst and mum had obviously heard my rant as she
rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing my elbow and in doing so nearly yanking me off my high heeled feet

She screamed " You apologise to your Auntie right this minute you rude girl. I won't have you talking to Heather like that. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Heather looked embarrassed at the situation and tried to diffuse the situation " She didn't mean anything by it Claire. We were just discussing whether the cardigan goes with the rest of her outfit"

I felt tears welling up in my eyes as Mum responded to Heather "She has far too much lip Heather. I won't have her growing up into a disrespectful little madam. I won't have her going off the tracks like a lot of young girls these days, being stupid and getting into trouble"

I just about found my voice as I could feel myself about to cry" How am I going to get into trouble exactly Mother? We were just discussing this stupid pullover. It's no big deal"

As I spoke, Mum released my elbow and stood before me in a rage. I actually thought she was going to slap me. She didn't, however with anger in her voice she screamed at me

"No big deal? What do you know? Girls your age are getting into trouble in lots of ways. Are you really that stupid not to understand that? It starts with silly love bites and then before you know it, it ends up with you throwing your life away for a bit of slap and tickle"

"I won't have you end up like those stupid girls I see at the mall pushing prams. I want you to have respect for yourself and others. You will make the most of what you have without stooping so low as to throw yourself at the likes of Martin"

I stomped one foot and cried out "Martin? What the bloody hell does he have to do with anything? Shit, I didn't ask for the love bite"

Mum was ready to burst and I seriously thought she was going to hit me, however my outburst seemed to bring her to her senses somewhat

"You didn't ask for it? How about leading him on? You think you are so grown up swearing don't you Joanne. You are so immature. I won't have your outbursts. Whilst under my roof you will follow my rules. Is that understood? Is it?" she demanded as she stuffed a handbag into my chest.

Without waiting for me to respond she turned her back on me and walked away

"Put on your coat and scarf and lets get going. We have wasted enough time already with your childish tantrums" she told me, as she sat at the kitchen table and started pulling on her flat shoes.

After a few seconds where no one spoke, Mother looked up and in a calmer voice apologised to Heather " I am so sorry you had to witness that Hettie. She can be a right little bitch at times and I won't have it. I won't have her talking to you like she knows it all. For Christ's sake she's only seventeen"

My Aunt looked embarrassed and a little shocked by what she had just witnessed and told Mum that it wasn't an issue

There was a long silence as Heather and I looked at each other expecting another outburst, however without warning Mum got up and walked out of the kitchen and started locking the house up.

To prevent another scene, I slipped the wool coat on as Heather came over to me and gave me a cuddle. She took a handkerchief from her handbag and gently dapped my lower eyelids and cheeks as I tried to gather my composure whilst gently sobbing

"My make up must be ruined," I said trying to make a joke of the situation

"There, there Jo. Don't worry" Heather smiled as she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze "We can repair your face"

"Let me help you with your the scarf" she said in a soothing voice as she pulled the silk scarf around my neck and loosely tied it so it draped over my false boobs. She then did up the large black buttons of the coat, which I found out later was called a cape style, tied off the large belt at my waist and out of earshot of her sister, smiled and whispered to me

"Take no notice of your Mother. She is a fine one to speak. She was a right cow when she was your age. We used to have massive catfights. She was never wrong about anything Jo. She was always speaking back to your Nan and Grandad. She is lucky she didn't end up like one of those young mothers she talks about. You will be fine hon. you have your head screwed on" she said as she gave me another hug

She kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you so much Jo. If you ever need me I will always will be there for you sweetheart. You know that don't you? You will turn out just fine love. Take no notice of your Mum"

I struggled not to break down as Auntie Heather's hugged me and didn't only because Mum came back into the kitchen, having seemingly calmed down

"Come on girls. Grab your bags. Let's get to the shops," She told us both as if nothing had happened

We both looked at her bemused

As I lifted the leather handbag from the kitchen table I noticed how heavy it was and wondered what mum had packed within it. Just as I was about to hang the bag from my shoulder Mother grabbed it and started routing inside

" You have so much in here love. Where's your make up case?" she asked

Without wanting an answer she pulled out a bejeweled little bag and from that pulled out a few items.

Telling me to sit down at the table she then started repairing my make up with foundation, blusher, eyeliner and mascara. Auntie Heather looked on as mother repaired my make up and then pulled a little vanity mirror from my new bag and told me to look in the mirror.

"That looks so much better doesn't it honey" She exclaimed as I looked at my pretty face in the small mirror " Put your make up back in your bag and lets going"

Totally lost for words I placed the cosmetics back in the make up bag and did up the gold clasp. As I went to put the case and mirror in the bag I looked at the contents inside. I saw a number of things including a few hair slides and hairclips, a hair brush, a spare pair of tights, a packet of Midol, a little umbrella, a couple of tampons, a sanitary towel, a hankie, a little purse, a small tin of hairspray and some wet wipes. I also saw a bottle of perfume, which had J'Adour on it.

Without thinking I handed Auntie the perfume

She smiled as she took the bottle from me and sprayed some on her wrists before rubbing them together " I knew it was J'Adore Jo. It's a lovely smell isn't it" She smiled as she gave me the bottle back to put in my bag

On putting everything back in the bag, I hung the bag straps over my shoulder and followed Auntie Heather out of the front door as Mum locked up behind us

Walking down the path to mum's car I wondered how the day would pan out. Was Mum right about me being a little bitch? Was I being selfish? Had I ruined hers and Auntie Heather day?

They both had a lot to contend with at the moment what with Nanna being in hospital. Mum's outburst was probably because she was stressed out over the situation and I probably wasn't helping much arguing with her at every opportunity

As the bitter cold wind swirled around my hosed legs and my bra straps dug in to my shoulders, I decided I would try my best not to antagonise mum. She had enough on her plate without as she put it, me being a little madam

Chapter 32

I somehow felt guilty and to make it up to mum I offered to drive

"That's a great idea Jo. You can show Heather how well your driving is coming along" mum beamed proudly whilst handing me the car keys.

I opened the car and as gracefully as I could, whilst wearing the tight skirt and high-heeled boots, maneuvered my bum onto the drivers seat and adjusted the seat so my feet could reach the pedals.

Unconsciously I tugged the hem of my skirt down as I adjusted the driver's mirror, before clasping my seat belt across my false breasts

From the back seat Auntie Heather broke the silence " OK Jo Jo, show us what a great driver you are love"

Mum smiled proudly and then talked me through the usual checks before I set off under her instruction

The journey was fairly uneventful until I stalled the car when attempting to pull away from a set of traffic lights on a slight hill. I got in a real mess and nearly rolled back into the car behind me and only avoided bumping the car behind when mum yanked the handbrake up.

"Jesus Joanne. Concentrate on what you are doing" mum moaned

"It's not my fault" I argued, " My heel got caught on the mat"

"Just concentrate. You haven't stalled the car for ages. If you do that on your test, the instructor will fail you, as you lost control of the car" mum remonstrated

I thought to myself that when I take the bloody test, I wouldn't be wearing high-heeled boots.

By now I was all hot and flustered and without looking in my mirrors, I restarted the car and started to pull away. In doing so, I again nearly crashed into the car that was behind me and was now attempting to overtake me. The young guy driving startled me up as he banged his hand on his car horn. He glared across at me shaking his head whilst shouting expletives. It is just as well I couldn't lip read, as he was know doubt telling me in so many words that I was a stupid cow or something similar.

I stalled the car again when hearing the car horn. My bottom lip now started to quiver and I wanted to cry as mum brought me to my senses

"Joanne for goodness sakes wake up. You are going to cause an accident. Calm down and start going through the start up routine I have taught you"

By now there was quite a queue of cars behind me, know doubt also getting annoyed at the learner driver in front of them

"There are loads of cars behind me," I screamed as I started to lose control

"So what. Ignore them. They had to learn once, just like you are. I bet most of them were a lot worse than you" Heather tried to reassure me with her backhanded comment

After letting the cars behind pass and again receiving annoyed looks from most of the drivers, I composed myself and we were back on our way. I concentrated really hard to ensure that there weren't any more mishaps on our way to the shops. In doing so, I totally forgot that I was wearing girl's clothes and immersed myself in the drive.

I was brought to my senses when we pulled up to the barrier at the entrance to the multi storey car park of the shopping mail. I pulled up the handbrake and put the car into neutral and then wound down my window and stretched out to collect the ticket, however was unable to reach it as I had pulled up too far from the ticket machine and my seatbelt cut in across my false boobs.

Mum looked around and saw that yet again a number of cars were queuing behind.

"Well don't just sit there. The ticket won't come to you girl. Get out and get it" Mum angrily told me obviously frustrated by my inability to carry out the simple task

I undid my seatbelt and after opening the car door managed to reach across and retrieve the ticket

A couple of cars behind started tooting as the barrier rose in front of me. By now I was a total wreck as I got back in the car and in a rush duly stalled the car again.

I don't know how, but somehow I was able to start the car and drive off very gingerly into the busy car park, as a procession of cars followed me up to the next level of the car park

Now totally overcome, I couldn't take anymore and stopped the car and screamed at mum " I can't do this anymore. I can't drive. I want to get out" as I opened the car door and started to get out

"Joanne, get back in the car this minute. You are making a right scene," Mum told me angrily as she looked around nervously at the ever-growing number of cars behind

"Your holding up all the cars behind"

I totally ignored her, got out, slammed the door behind me and stormed off as quickly as my boots and tight skirt would allow me

Then it dawned on me. Where did I think I was going to go dressed like this? My money was in the handbag I had left behind in the car. I felt a tear drop down my cheek as I started to sob. I looked back and saw mum get in the drivers seat and drive towards me and then to my astonishment she drove straight past me at speed whilst giving me a dirty look

As the drivers of the cars I had inconvenienced drove past me, I looked away as I was embarrassed in holding them all up

Although I couldn't see their faces, I could hear a few angry comments as they drove past me, as I looked in the opposite direction

"Stupid fucking cow. You shouldn't be on the road. You couldn't drive a shopping trolley" was one that was really cutting

I didn't know what to do and aimlessly quickly started walking to the mall entrance as an elderly lady of about 60 came walking towards me at speed

"Leave me alone. I am sorry I held you up" I cried, "You had to learn to drive once didn't you?"

The lady gave me a concerned warm smile as she grabbed my arm reassuringly "Are you ok love? You seem to be in a lot of distress" she asked as she handed me a tissue from her handbag " Nothing can be that bad, can it"

I tried to respond however choked up I couldn't get any words out as I took the tissue from her and dabbed at my cheeks and eyes, guessing that my stupid eye make up had run and that I probably looked dreadful

"What's got you so upset love? Here come with me," she said as she grabbed by hand and gestured me to a car a few metres away

Not thinking straight, I followed her and when she told me to get into the car I did as I was told. As I got in the back seat of the car I realised that an elderly man with thinning grey hair was watching me. He greeted me with a lovely smile "Hello dear"

"err err er Hi" I stuttered embarrassed as I pulled the hem of my skirt down which had risen up to my upper thighs and in doing so, know doubt giving him a good view of my knickers

"err sorry. I should get out," I sobbed as I went to get out of the car, just as the lady got in the from the other rear door. She grabbed my arm and stopped me from getting out

"You are in no fit state to go anywhere young urn. What's your name love?" She gestured to her husband who was looking back at us from the front seat " This is my husband Colin and my names Helen"

I sobbed "errrr Joe. My names Joe" I replied as I tried to compose myself " I am so sorry, I should be trying to find my mum"

"You just stay where you are love. You can't be going anywhere in this condition" she gently told me

"Colin see if you can get a cup of sweet tea for Jo from somewhere"

Colin didn't need telling twice as I believe he was happy to escape from the deranged stranger on the back seat of his car. He got out and walked in the direction of the mall leaving Helen and I in the car

" I am really sorry to involve you. I will be alright" I tried to convince Helen, however she wasn't having any of it

"Don't you worry yourself love. I have granddaughters your age and I would hate to see them on their own in the state your in. What's got you so upset?"

Helen saw that I was hot and bothered and told me to take of my silk scarf and undo my coat. I didn't question her as I was hot and felt a little woozy, as she helped me take the scarf off, as I undid the buttons of my coat

I felt a little better as the cool air hit my upper body

"Is that better dear? She asked

I nodded shyly "yes thanks"

" What a pretty cardigan love. You really are a cutie. My granddaughters aren't girly girls like you. They are a bit gothy"

Squirming at her well-intended compliments, I politely smiled as she continued to tell me " They wouldn't be seen dead wearing a lovely blouse like yours" she laughed, " I don't understand it myself. No wonder they attract the wrong type of boyfriends Jo"

"Is Jo short for anything love?" she asked

"Errrr yes it is" I responded whilst playing with the bangles on my wrist and didn't tell her what it was short for

"Well I guess it isn't short for Joseph," she laughed at her attempt of a joke " Is it Josephine or Joanna?

"It's short for Joanne," I told her finding my voice feeling very awkward

"Oh that's a lovely name Joanne. I like it better than Jo, however you know doubt like a more trendy Jo"

'Yeah I guess so" I told her shyly as I again nervously pulled down the hem of my skirt

She giggled at my action "You youngsters make me laugh. You wear such short skirts and then spend all of your time pulling the hem down to protect your modesty"

I smiled at her embarrassed " I guess so"

I was starting to feel at ease with Helen, however still felt that I shouldn't be holding her up from whatever she was meant to be doing

"Err Helen. I am really sorry for being so silly. I am probably holding you up from doing something. I am ok now. I will let you get on," I told her whilst not looking at her directly. I was really feeling awkward and now just wanted to get away to find Mum and Auntie Heather

"It's no bother Joanne love. Colin will be back with your tea soon. Have that and then you will feel much better. Now if I am not prying, tell me what's got you so upset young urn"

For the next five minutes I told Helen what had happened to get me in such a dreadful state. She listened without interrupting and reassuringly stroked my hand as I got upset at certain points

I don't know why, but I told Helen more than I intended to, including the row with mum before we left home, the incidences with my driving that morning, Nana being in hospital and for whatever reason unbeknown to me, my big row with Martin about his poor driving home from the hospital.

Helen listened intently and didn't interrupt apart from reassuring me when I started to get upset

When I finished talking Helen took a deep breath and said " My my. No wonder you are so upset young lady. You have had to put up with so much in the last few days. I know from having two daughters of my own and four granddaughters that your hormones are all over the place at your age.

She asked how old I was and when I told her 17 she told me "oh you are still a baby. You are still only coming to terms with going from a girl to a young woman. A very beautiful woman, might I add," she smiled kindly "however your hormones are probably all over the place at your tender age"

Helen told me that before she retired she had been a midwife and told me that she had come across a number of girls around my age who although pregnant weren't coming to terms with their mood swings and hormonal changes

"I'm not pregnant," I protested indignantly

Helen laughed, " I didn't say you was Joanne. I was just saying that our hormones effect girls a lot at your age and even so at my old age love. If you think its bad now, you will have the menopause to look forward to in later life love. Take it from me, then you will be a wreck" She joked

"One minute you're too hot, then your too cold. I think Colin was tempted to kill me a few times when I was going through the change" she giggled as she reminisced about her experience of the menopause

I know Helen was doing her best to calm me down and take my mind of what was worrying me, however her talk of menopause and hormones made me feel a little queasy, as I knew none of this would effect me and how wrong she was of her assessment of me and if only she knew of the freak sat beside her

Helen must have realised something was up " You ok love. You have gone all pale"

"Erm yeah I am ok. Just a little lightheaded that's all" I replied

"I know I am being a bit personnel Jo, but the old nurse in me is always prying love. Are you on your period Jo? It would explain you being upset and looking a little of colour love"

"Er no, no I am not" I replied embarrassed whilst no doubt going bright red with shame

Helen obviously realised that she had embarrassed me "Sorry love. Just me putting two and two together and coming up with five" she apologised whilst gently squeezing my hand

"You have such pretty nails love" she commented whilst looking at my varnished fingernails

"Maybe your a little anaemic love. Are you having regular periods Joanne or are they all over the place?" she continued to pry

Now feeling very hot and bothered, I pulled my coat off and undid the little buttons of my cardigan to cool down. "Yes they are fine. I'm alright thanks"

"Ok love. As long as you are. Periods can really affect young girls. My eldest daughter Susan had really infrequent periods when she was about your age and at times when she missed one, she worried she might be pregnant. Are yours regular every month Joanne?

"errrrr yes they are, mostly" I responded not knowing what to say as my hand went beneath my blouse collar as I tried to adjust one of my bra straps that was biting into my shoulder

"When was your last one young urn" she continued to probe, whilst looking me directly in my eyes

I didn't like how she was scrutinising me as she looked into my made up eyes. I wondered if she knew I was a boy and croaked a response to her very personnel question "erm, I don't know. Six weeks ago, I guess," I told her without realising that I had now opened up a new can of worms for myself

"SIX WEEKS" she responded in a high pitched voice " Do you think you could be pregnant love? It would explain a lot as to how you are feeling"

By now I was squirming right down to my hosed ankle boots "NO NO, Of course I am not pregnant. Not at all" I protested

"How do you know love? You said your periods are normally ok, however you say you haven't had one for six weeks. Are you taking proper precautions?"

" What? What do you mean precautions?" I responded astonished at her probing

"You know. Are you on the pill or does Martin use condoms?"

I was beside myself at how the conversation was going and without thinking told her "He uses condoms. I know I am not pregnant Helen," I screeched at her

"OK that's good to know love, although you might consider the pill as sheath's are not always reliable Joanne and take it from me love, not to be crude you and your young man will enjoy sex so much more without a rubber"

I was really squirming by now "I don't know about condoms Helen. I am a virgin. Are you satisfied? Martin and I haven't done anything" I started sobbing in frustration

"Oh my poor dear. I am so sorry for prying. It's nothing to be embarrassed about Joanne, not yet having sex love. You're still a baby girl at 17. You and Martin will do it in your own time sweetie, when you are both ready and don't let him pressurize you as men often do love. There's plenty of time for that Joanne"

I was astounded and was thinking of what to say, when Colin surprised me when he opened my door and peered in "You girls ok"

GIRLS I squirmed to myself as he went to hand me a polystyrene cup of tea

"Look who I have found Jo" he asked as I looked past him and saw both Mum and Aunt Heather looking at me with concern on their faces, as I passed out.

End of Chapter 32

Mothers Encouragement Chapter 33

As I came around, I could hear mum speaking. I couldn’t figure out who she was speaking to however quickly made out that it was Auntie Heather and another lady.

I felt very clammy and as I refocused, I could make out mum’s face looking down at me with concern. “Are you alright love” she asked as her hand rested on my nyloned knee.

“Err I think so mum. Where am I?” I asked confused

“You are in the back of Helen's car. She has been looking after you love after we got split up. Are you going to be ok baby. I'm worried about you” Mum asked as she moved her hand from my knee and gently stroked my fringe.

Feeling embarrassed by all of the attention I was getting and the worried faces hovering around me I tried to brush off the concern “Yes, I am fine mum. I just came over hot and woozy. Not sure what happened but I am ok now”

A voice I didn’t recognised chipped in “Just before she passed out, I was just saying to your Joanne that it was probably her hormones playing with her emotions. My girls were just the same when they were teenagers”

“Err I am ok thanks Helen” I remembered the kindly voices name “I probably came over woozy because I haven’t eaten much this morning” I tried to reassure everyone

Helen persisted “you need to be eating love. You have a lovely figure, and you don’t need to be dieting”

“She never listens to me” Mum told Helen “She eats like a hamster despite me trying to fatten her up”

Mum and Helen continued to discuss what could have caused me to faint and as I continued to come around Helen whispered to Mum that “she would suggest getting me booked in to see the Doctor for a check-up as Joanne not having a period for six weeks could be something to be concerned about, unless she isn’t telling you something”

Mum and Aunt Heather nearly choked on hearing Helen’s insinuation

Mum recovered herself enough to respond “No Jo is a good girl. She hasn’t got much further than kissing and cuddling the boys” mum protested on my behalf somewhat bothered by Helen’s suggestion that I could be pregnant.

I thought to myself that this was getting more surreal by the minute, as again Helen thought that by whispering in mum’s ear that I couldn’t hear what was being said

“Just saying that young girls aren’t always 100% honest with their mothers my dear. My girls were just the same telling me that they were still virgins when they were far from being so”

I wanted the ground to swallow me up as the conversation continued around me as Aunt Heather spoke “No I can vouch for my niece that she is still a virgin. She wouldn’t let her boyfriend go too far. Would you babe?”

“No certainly not Auntie Heather” I protested “You don’t have to worry about me and boys. I just came over a little sick.

I turned to Helen “I told you Helen, I am not pregnant. I can’t be” I insisted as Helen looked at the love bite on my neck which I had exposed when tugging at the collar of my blouse as I felt hot and clammy. I again came over embarrassed when I realised, I had exposed the bite that Martin had inflicted on me. On noticing Helen’s frown, I pulled the collar up again to try and cover the mark

Helen smiled and gesturing to my neck stated “you might want to think about applying some foundation to cover that up youngster”
I know I must have been blushing as Mum, Helen and Heather smiled at each other

“Looks like you have some colour back in your cheek’s missy. Come on my girl let’s get you home” mum joked as she started to help me out of the back of Helen and Colin’s car

“Let me help you up love” Colin spoke as he stepped into help Mum. I could feel his large hands under my armpits as he helped me to my feet. In doing so, his assistance resulted in my blouse being pulled out of the waistband of my skirt giving Colin a tantalising peak of my silky chemise. I pulled my skirt down and quickly tucked my blouse back into the waistband of the tight skirt as Colin turned away uncomfortably.

“Err thank you Colin and Helen” I bashfully spoke feeling absolutely mortified for Colin and myself “you have been really kind and helpful”

“Oh, not a problem at all love. We couldn’t leave a young damsel in distress” Colin kidded whilst still looking away into the distance “We men have our uses at times. Don’t we my dear?” he quipped looking to his wife

“Yes Colin, every now and then you come in useful” Helen joked back “Are you OK now Joanne. We will leave you with your mum and Aunt if that’s ok?”

Mum responded for me “She will be ok thankyou Helen. She will do anything to be the centre of attention” she joked as she looked at me lovingly “ever the princess eh JoJo?”

“Yes mother” I indignantly responded “I must take after you”

Aunt Heather found my response highly hilarious as she laughed out loud “You’re not wrong there Joanne”

As I pulled my coat on and hung my handbag over my shoulder, Mum and Heather thanked Helen and Colin for looking after me. They exchanged telephone numbers as Helen told Mum that she would be grateful to find out how I had got on at the Doctors. I am sure she just wanted to have it confirmed to her that I was indeed pregnant with Martin’s baby.

Helen was starting to annoy me as she soon went from my saviour to what I believed to be an interfering busybody.

Mum and Heather kept fussing over me as we left Helen and Colin. As we walked away Helen waved and shouted out” look after yourself young lady. Remember what I said, don’t go growing up to quickly”

Mum had wrapped her arm around me as we walked to what I believed to be our car; however, it was soon apparent that we were walking towards the entrance to the shopping centre.

“Where are we going mum?” I asked

“I thought we would collect your photos Joanne whilst we are here. I'd like to see how they turned out. I know your Aunt Heather is keen to see how you look in your work uniform. You look so precious darling. Humour your old Mum. I want to remember my little girl in years to come.

I still felt quite queasy however to keep the peace and not create another scene I went along with Mum’s suggestion to collect the photographs. I thought to myself it won't take long and then hopefully we could be on our way home.

As we entered the mall, I again felt very conscious of what I was wearing. It was not easy to forget that I was wearing girl’s clothes, as my tight skirt continued to restrict my steps and the click clack of my ankle boots seemed to reverberate around the mall as I tried to keep up with Mum and Aunt Heather. They both were wearing flat shoes and trousers, compared to my restricted tight skirt and the perilous three-inch heels I wore and so they were moving a lot more freely than me.

As we walked through the mall Mum and Heather kept stopping to look at the window displays. The shops were predominantly clothes shops, women's clothes shops. Mum and Heather both got excited by the displays and considered weather the clothes on show would suit either of them and to my embarrassment considered what would look good on me

Whilst looking in the window of Etam (a lady’s shop in the UK who sadly are no longer trading) Mum pointed to a dress and enthusiastically said

“That dress would look lovely on you Joanne. It would be perfect for the wedding that you and Martin are attending. Shall we go in and have a look?”

Before I could respond we were entering the shop and Mum and Heather were looking through the racks for the dress that was on display in the window. Aunt Heather was the first to find it and picked a dress off the rack and asked, “what size are you Jo?”

Confused by the sudden turn of events considering that I thought we were only going to collect the photographs, I whispered back so no one could hear “I'm not sure auntie”

Mum chipped in” I believe she will be a size 10 with this cut of dress Hettie” as she took the dress from Heather and held it up against my body

The dress was a bright fuchsia pink in what I now know to be a peplum style. It had a fitted pleated skirt and see-through billowy sleeves. I thought it was probably made from silk or something similar. It flowed against me as Mum held it up against me inspecting it.

Mum gushed “It’s beautiful isn’t it. Come on Jo let's have you try it on. There's a changing room over there” she said pointing to the far corner of the store

As Heather and I followed Mum to the changing the room a female assistant dressed in the black skirt and white blouse uniform of the store asked “Do you need any help ladies?

Mum responded for us “No thank you dear, however, is it possible that we could have my daughter try on this dress” Mum asked showing the dress to the girl, who I estimated wasn’t that much older than me.

“Yes of course Madam. Is it just the one item your daughter wants to try?” she asked whilst looking me up and down

“Yes, please Bridget” Mum took great pleasure in addressing the girl after seeing her name badge “Let’s see how this one fits” Mum smiled warmly at the shopgirl as I looked on embarrassed

“Ok that's fine. Please take this tag in with you Miss. We then know you have only taken the one item into the changing room” Bridget told me as she handed me a white tag with a number on, as Mum guided me into the confines of the women's changing room. Mum pulled back the curtain and gave me the dress.

“Go in there and slip your skirt and blouse off darling. Let's see how it looks on you. Give me a shout when you have it on as I will need to help you with the buttons up the back” Mum instructed.

In a daze I entered the changing room booth and pulled the curtain across so no one could see me undress. I was unsure what to do however knew that mom would not let me go anywhere without trying the pretty dress on

I undid my scarf and took off my coat. I then unbuttoned my skirt and pulled down the rear zip letting the skirt fall to the ground before hanging it on a wooden peg. I then unbuttoned my cardigan and blouse and also hung them on pegs. Wondering whether I should take off the chemise slip that I wore, I decided to leave it on as I pulled the dress up over my legs and waist and slipped my arms through the long transparent sleeves.

As Mum had suggested, despite trying I wasn't able to do up the rear buttons of the Flouncy dress, however managed to do up the four small buttons on each of the sleeves.

I could hear mum and Heather in conversation with the shop girl as I deliberated on what to do next

“It's a beautiful dress isn't it Madam” Bridget proclaimed

“Yes, it is Bridget. I'm sure it will look lovely on Joanne. She needs a pretty dress for a big wedding she and her boyfriend Martin are attending next weekend. Martin is the best man and Jo therefore needs to look her best without outshining the bride” Mum playfully said

“If Jo likes the dress, I am sure that we have a clutch bag to match the pink of the dress. Should I go and get it for you, so you can see for yourself” Bridget asked

“That would be lovely my dear. Would you happen to have shoes that would also match?” Mother asked

“I'm not sure about that Madam. I don't think we do. You could always try Dolcis (a UK high street retailer who sadly are no longer trading) next door. I'm sure they will have something close to the colour of the dress depending on what style of shoe your daughter wants.

“Thank you” Mum replied “you are very helpful my dear. How long have you been working here?”

“Only six months”

“You are very good at your job Bridget. You obviously know what you're doing. Do you enjoy the job?” Heather asked

“Yes, I love it. What teenage girl doesn't like working in fashion. We get a discount 25% of all of the clothes so I tend to spend all of my wages in the shop. My Mum keeps telling me that I need to start saving for a rainy day” Bridget chuckled.

“Listen to your Mum Bridget. She is speaking sense. Joanne works in a hotel however I know she would love working in here. There are some lovely clothes. I know she would be the same as you giving back all of her wages each week” mom reflected

“I will just go and get the bag now and will be back shortly” Bridget responded as I heard her walking off as her court shoes made a noise across the tiled floor

I heard Aunt Heather say to mum “she is such a sweetie isn't she Claire. She will break a few boys’ hearts”

“Yes, Joanne could learn a lot from her. I didn't see a love bite on Bridget’s neck” mum sniped

“Jo could do with making friends her own age who would be a good influence on her”

“Mother” I complained as I pulled the curtain back crossly staring at her. “I am here you know; I don't need to make friends with teenage girls. I should be dating them, not sharing fashion tips with them”

“Oh, hush yourself” mother retorted and on seeing the dress on me then gushed “it looks beautiful on you darling. You will outshine the bride. Turn around so I can do the buttons up”

As instructed, I turned around as Mum did up the 15 or so small cloth-coloured buttons to the nape of my neck, which resulted in the dress contouring itself around my upper body and accentuating my pert man-made breasts.

“MAN MADE BREASTS” I thought to myself. How true is that I pondered

Mom fussed with the dress pulling it here and there and continued gushing over me

“Look at the lovely knife pleats in the skirt Hettie. “Aren’t they sweet. It's like the dresses that Mum used to buy us when we were young girls. I think these dresses are back in fashion. They are much better than the grungy look most of the girls are wearing these days”

“Yes, I know what you mean Claire. I was watching Top of the Pops the other night and those pretty girls in Bananarama were wearing horrible overalls like mechanics” Heather answered

As I stood there totally humiliated Mum tied the small silky ribbon belt around my waist which ended in a large limp bow that rested just above my bum.

I nervously fidgeted with the bangles on my wrist as Mum and Heather continued fussing and pulling at the dress. They played with the small Peter Pan collar and adjusted the shoulder pads within the dress, so it properly fitted my small frame

“Jo, slip off your boots love” Heather asked “they don't go with the dress, and I can’t get the full effect”

In a bemused state I unzipped my boots and pulled them off and in doing so could feel the cold tiled shop floor through the soles of my thin tights

“Stand up on your tiptoes Joanne so I can see the full effect of where the hem will fall” Heather asked

I did as I was told and in doing so found that the hem of the dress sat just about my knees

Mum cooed “I think it's perfect love. Martin will love it. He will be with the belle of the ball. He will be so proud to have you next to him” Mum enthused “We do need to get you some shoes though to go with your dress and maybe some pretty jewellery. We also need to find you some sheer tights, maybe with a slight pink sheen to them. You will look adorable darling when we have completed your look”

At that point Bridget returned with a bag and smiling she handed it to me “You look lovely Joanne. The dress really suits your figure. It’s perfect for a wedding. I think the clutch bag goes well with it don't you?” She asked

I blushed and before I could reply Mum answered for me “It's perfect Bridget. What's a clever girl you are” Mum turned to me “The clutch is only small Jo, so you won't be able to carry too much in the bag on the day, just the essentials love. You could always leave a bigger bag in Martin’s car if you need your full makeup bag and other things love”

I grimaced at Mum’s comments thinking I'm not even going to this wedding, so why are you even considering buying me this expensive dress and the accessories to go with it. I knew my objection to going to the wedding with Martin would end in a big row between Mum and me, however I knew I had to make a stance as I didn't want Mum controlling my life.

“I am not going to the bloody wedding Mother” I screamed which resulted in shoppers looking in our direction “I told you; Martin and I are not an item. He is a pig”

I turned and rushed back to the dressing room as tears started to flow down my face. As I pulled the curtain across and threw myself on the little bench seat, I thought to myself “Do I really mean that? Martin wasn’t a pig. I felt something for him although I didn’t know what those feelings were. I did want to go to the wedding and wear this pretty dress I thought, as I played with the delicate hem of the dress as tears continued to fall.

I was so confused. I didn’t know what I wanted or indeed didn’t know who I was anymore, however I knew I would be going to the wedding and that I would need to find some pretty shoes to match my lovely dress and considered whether I should wear my hair up or down.

End of chapter 33

More chapters to follow soon. Sorry for the ridiculous wait for new chapters. My life has been hectic. Since last posting I have divorced (Who?) and remarried and in doing so I have become a step mum to 2 wonderful young men and a lovely girl, who all have children of their own. In time I will get to the present time and let you know of the events that led to who I am today
I hope you enjoy the new chapter

Love Lucy

Chapter 35

Despite my misgivings, my time spent at the photography studio that afternoon was enjoyable. In the two hours or so that I spent there before Mum and Aunt Heather returned, I got a really good insight into what goes into creating good photographs.

Diane asked that I assist her in the staging of the photos, especially when she was busy taking shots of Barney. I was nominated to distract him, so he looked in the direction of the lens, which was achieved by me holding up and squeaking a dog toy behind Diane’s shoulder.

I seemed to have a good connection with Diane and Louise. Adam seemed to hit it off with Mark. The guys chatted about football, rugby and most things sport related, whilst I and the two women chatted about hair, makeup and Louise’s wedding plans. I got on well with Louise who had an easy manner about her, and we got to know each other as Diane was setting up her camera between shots.

Louise told me about her job at Harrod’s and I told her about my job at the hotel. She asked a lot of questions about the hotel as she and Mark had not yet decided where their wedding reception was to be held. I told her it was a lovely hotel and maybe one they could consider.

During a quick coffee break I listened in as Diane asked Louise whether she had chosen her wedding dress.

“No not yet. We only announced our engagement to our parents a few days ago. We haven’t really thought about what we want just yet”.

“Have you got anything in mind Louise. What styles of wedding dresses do you like?” Diane enquired.

“Probably like Jo and most other girls I have always dreamed that I will look like a princess on my wedding day. I want a traditional white gown with a longish train and lace veil”.

Diane pointed to some wedding magazines on a coffee table and for the next five minutes the two women gushed over the wedding dresses within.

I watched on over the women’s shoulders without commenting as they considered what dresses would look good on Louise. Diane noticing that I wasn’t contributing to the conversation asked me “What styles do you like Joanne?”

“Erm. I’m not sure really” I honestly answered flushed.

Diane pointed to a picture of a beautiful bride wearing an ankle length white silk dress that had puffy long sleeves and lace netting covering the boob area. Her head covered by a traditional veil.

“With your lovely figure this dress would be perfect for you Joanne”.

“I guess so” I responded not knowing what else to say.

Louise interjected “oh it would be perfect for you babe. Look at the lovely diamante detailing on the bodice, hem and sleeves. It is quite tight fitting, however as Diane says you have the figure to pull it off”.

I knew I reddened at the weird talk of me wearing such a feminine dress. The one they had picked out was stunningly beautiful and any woman wearing it on her wedding day would look amazing.

The women continued to look through the magazines and included me within their conversation. At times selecting other styles of dresses that they said would suit me for when I eventually was a bride.

Not going to happen I thought to myself. If only Diane and Lou knew the truth.

I did however get wrapped up in the feminine conversation as the dresses were so beautiful, however in my current circumstance I couldn’t envisage ever getting married, let alone picturing myself wearing a wedding dress at my own wedding.

Lou told us more about her wedding including what church they were to be married at, how many bridesmaids she would have, what type of flowers she would like. I really enjoyed hearing of her plans for her big day and for some reason was strangely quite envious of her. I knew that the whole white wedding thing would never happen to me. For one what woman would want to marry someone as pathetic as me. It saddened me that I would probably end up a bachelor or if Mum had her way a spinster.

I thought who would even go out with me, let alone want to marry me. I may have burned my bridges with Martin. I didn't even know whether he still wanted to take me to his friend’s wedding. Did I really want to go anyway. Crikey I mused “I’m a boy for god’s sake, I shouldn't even be thinking about going to the wedding wearing a pretty dress, on the arm of a handsome young man”

My reverie was shattered by the shop doorbell ringing as someone had obviously entered the shop. I heard voices when Adam went to see who it was. The very familiar sound of my mum could be heard the other side of the wall.

Oh, thank God I thought. We can now go home. I had pretty much had my fill of girl talk for one day and wanted to get home to get changed out of my feminine clothes.

Rising as ladylike as possible from my seated position on the floor, I pulled the hem of my skirt down as far as it would go and quickly left the studio walking through to the reception area where I found mum talking to Adam.

Heather spotted me and with a beaming smile said “hello Jo. You okay Hun? Have you been keeping out of mischief?”

“Err yes of course Aunt Heather” I uneasily responded feeling agitated that she thought I had been naughty.

Sensing my discomfort she said “I am only kidding Jo” as she came over and gave me a big hug. On releasing me from her clutches she winked at me “I can’t ever imagine my Niece being anything but proper”

With Adam and Mum now watching on I know I blushed and to change the subject asked, “How did your shopping go Auntie?”

“Your mom and I had a great time thanks. We picked up a load of bargains and I got most of my Christmas shopping done early, which is unusual for me babe. I'm really happy with the main present I have got for you Joanne. I hope you are going to like it and the others presents I bought you”.

I wondered what she had got me for Christmas. My mind did overtime as Mum came over and as she too gave me a hug asked” how you doing baby are you feeling better?”

“Yes, okay thanks” I replied not really meaning it, however thought a positive answer was for the best seeing as Adam was listening in.

“That's good Jo. We really did miss you. It would have been better if you had been with us. You could have tried on a few things; though had you tagged along the presents we have got you wouldn't be a surprise.

“Anyway youngster. We better be getting home. Heather and I are going to visit your Nan after we have dropped you off. Say your goodbyes to everyone sweetheart”.

Over the next 5 minutes I said my goodbyes to Diane, Louise and little Barney. Adam and Mark were chatting away as Mark settled the bill for the photographs taken of the loving couple and their adorable dog. I did notice that during this time Adam’s eyes never really averted from me as I pulled on my coat and hung my bag over my shoulder.

Diane kissed me on the cheek. “I really enjoyed your company this afternoon Joanne. Hopefully you can help me out in the future. I'd be willing to pay you something for your time”

She leant into me and whispered “Adam is OK however it's always good to have another woman’s help. We understand what makes customers comfortable and at ease. They have obviously taught you well at the hotel honey, you have a great manner when it comes to customer service”.

I blushed at Diane’s compliments and before I had a chance to respond she excitedly declared “I have a great idea. Do you want to earn a little money Jo? In a couple of weeks, I am going to have a stand at a wedding fair being held at the Sanderson Hotel. Would you be keen to help me out? It's on a Sunday and you would be a great help assisting me in setting up in the morning and then helping me deal with customers during the day. It promises to be a great event. I have been fortunate to have been selected to take the photographs of the models on the catwalk in their wedding and bridesmaids dresses”.

“Say you will help out. You would be a real godsend. Adam plays football on a Sunday and anyway he wouldn’t want to help me as he gets embarrassed when there are loads of women gushing over girly things such as ribbons, bows and suchlike” she laughed at her own quip.

Lost for words I didn't know how to respond however as always Mum spoke on my behalf “I'm sure she would love to help Diane. Wouldn’t you Joanne?”

“Err I guess so” I uneasily responded wondering just what I would need to do on the day.

Maybe you could even do some modelling Joanne. You certainly wouldn't look out of place on the catwalk. Have you ever modelled before love?” Diane asked.

Mom again spoke before me “No she's never modelled before Diane. Jo’s really nervous being centre of attention. Aren't you love?”

For once I agreed with Mother “No thanks Diane. I wouldn’t want to bring attention to myself”.

Diane teased me. Saying that I looked like a young Princess Diana and that it would be a waste of my good looks to not get involved in some way. She said that maybe I would change my mind before the day, as it would be a great shame If I didn’t join the other young girls wearing their bridal outfits.

Adam looked on as mother and Diane continued to speak about me. Seeing that I was embarrassed he chipped in “I think you would look lovely Joanne as a bride however if she doesn't want to do it mum don't force her to”.

I smiled at Adam and silently mouthed “Thank you”.

As we left the shop after our final farewells, I let out a big sigh.

“What's up with you youngster” mom questioned.

“What's up with me Mother? You are always making decisions on my behalf. I have a voice you know” I responded annoyed.

“Listen to her Heather. Miss high almighty think she knows it all. When I speak on your behalf Joanne it’s because I'm looking out for your interests. You are new to all of this, and I am just trying to guide you to do the right thing”.

Before I had the chance to respond I felt a tap on my shoulder and on turning around on my heels found Adam smiling at me

“Sorry Jo can I have a word please” he asked ever so politely.

“Yeah, I guess so” I shyly responded as mom and Heather looked on intrigued.

Adam gently took my hand in his and led me over to the other side of the mall, out of mum and Heather’s earshot. I didn't want your mum to hear me ask you in case you got embarrassed”.

Ask me what Adam? I asked nervously.

Adam was obviously nervous about what he was about to ask me “errrrrrr would you come out with me Joanne. To the cinema or a drink or even a bite to eat. You don’t have to answer now if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to just say and I will leave you alone and won’t ask again, I just really like you”.

I felt sorry for Adam as he mumbled on struggling to get his words out and for that reason alone I somehow answered “you don't have to leave me alone Adam. I wouldn’t have a problem going out with you to the cinema or whatever you want to do”.

As soon as I had accepted his invite, I regretted my actions. What am I thinking? A boy accepting another boys invitation on a date.

Adam was obviously relieved and grinned like a Cheshire cat “that's great Jo, I'm so happy. I didn't think you would want to go out with me. I know you probably are always getting pestered by boys”.

I felt sorry for Adam as he like myself obviously lacked confidence. To stop him waffling along any further I put my finger on his lips to stop him talking and said “Nothing could be further from the truth Adam. Guys aren’t exactly queuing around the block” I laughed at my own joke

Anyway I bet you have a lot of girls who have their eyes on you”

“Not as lovely as you Jo” Adam sweetly told me.

I felt comfortable in Adams company and for the next two minutes or so we chatted. Before I knew it I had somehow accepted a date that evening to the local cinema to see a romcom called St Emo’s Fire. How did that happen I thought to myself as I made my way back to Mum and Heather who had been looking on amused the whole time.

“What was that all about Jo?” Heather asked as we all watched Adam walk off into the distance

“Err I guess I am going out on a date with Adam” I replied somewhat in a daze.

“Really? When?” mom asked excitedly.

“Tonight. He is picking me up at 7pm” I said puzzled as to why I had said yes.

“Oh, my lord child. You work fast. I didn’t know you felt that way about Diane’s Adam” Mum exclaimed surprised.

We made our way back to the car as both Mum and Heather enthusiastically discussed my upcoming date.

Mum had to drive us home as I told her I was in no fit state to drive having somehow willingly accepted a date with a boy.

I sat in the back seat listening to Mum and Heather, whilst absentmindedly playing with the ruffles of my blouse. They both reminisced about when boys asked had them out to the cinema when they were both young girls around my age. They shared their experiences of when they used to have a kiss and cuddle on the back row when the lights went down. They both gleefully chatted about how their dates always tried to get to second base when their lecherous hands used to reach under their skirts, before the hands got slapped away.

On hearing of their tales of youth, I thought that I would ask mum whether I could wear trousers tonight, as I visibly shook thinking of Adams hands potentially reaching under my skirt and the repercussions should he find out my secret.

End of Chapter 35

Chapter 36

On arriving home mum didn't waste any time in telling me to have a quick bath ready for my date that evening. Rather than argue, I did as I was told, as I actually felt like I needed a nice hot relaxing bath to soothe away the stresses of the day.

As I lay in the bath, I checked my legs to see whether there was any hair growth and was relieved to find only found a few rogue hairs. I used mum’s lady shaver to remove the offending hairs and lay back in the bath and enjoyed the hot bubbles.

I reflected on the day and thought that I had enjoyed myself in the photography shop and wouldn't mind helping Diane at some point in the future. FUTURE? What was I thinking, there couldn't be a future with me deceitfully misleading people, good people at that.

I had made my mind up. After this evening’s date with Adam I would cut all ties with Joanne/Lucy. Who was I kidding. I was a boy and not a teenage girl. I would speak to mum in the morning and tell her how I felt.

As I lazed in the bath my mind worked overtime. Did I really want to put a stop to being an attractive girl that seemed so popular with almost everyone I met. As Joe no one ever asked me out, however I now had two boys vying for my affection. I considered how different Adam and Martin were and if I was put on the spot who would I choose to spend more time with.

My body tingled as I thought about both guys and where my future lay. Was my future with either of them or was the alternative to spend a lonely existence as uninteresting Joe?

I deliberated on the pros and cons of my future and thought about how much harder it was for girls. The insecurities, the fussing with hair and makeup, stinging eyes from errant hairspray, denuding myself of stubbly hair on my legs, the issues that went with long nails even when carrying out simple tasks like doing up buttons or buttering toast was a hardship.

The worse part I thought was the necessity to wear a bra and other constrictive clothing like tight skirts. I thought back to Mrs Nosey from the supermarket and how I now understood how right she was. I did look forward to taking my bra off at the end of each day and massaging my shoulders where my bra straps had dug in my skin.

I looked forward at the end of each day to removing my tights and letting my legs breathe again. It was so much simpler for boys. They could just throw on jeans and add a T-shirt and they were ready to go. I believed that mum would never allow me to dress that way again and me thinking otherwise was just a pipe dream.

I did however think that there were a lot of positives in being a girl. The opportunity to wear different clothes which felt wonderful on the skin. I liked being treated more positively by strangers in a way that I had never experienced as Joe.

I reflected on how Mrs Benson regarded me with more warmth when I wore the girls uniform and how she fussed over me, like she did the other girls. I never experienced this feeling when dressed as Joe. She had previously pretty much dismissed me as an irritation amongst her team of young ladies. Was I now part of her team?

Did I really want to continue working at the hotel as Joanne? I enjoyed the job however was it what I wanted for my future. Maybe I could have a career with Uncle David's company in sales, however that again would probably result in me dressing as a girl.

So many thoughts were going through my mind, and I was only jolted from my daydreaming when mother banged on the bathroom door
“Joanne why have you locked the door?” she hollered as she tried the doorknob “come on get out of the bath. You have been in there over 30 minutes. You will shrivel up my girl”.

I groaned at Mum calling me a girl, but to keep the peace I pulled the plug out of the bath and as the water rinsed away, I used the hand shower to rinse myself off. I then quickly dried myself off with a fluffy towel as mum again returned to try the bathroom doorknob, only to find that it was still locked

“What are you up to in there Missy?” she asked through the door “Come on open the door. We have lots to be getting on with, so you are looking your best on your date with Adam”.

I wrapped the now damp towel around my body, so it covered my non-existent boobs and unlocked the door to allow my impatient mother into the bathroom

“I'm glad to see that you had the presence of mind to wear a shower cap over your hair, so it didn't get messed up. I don't think we need to do too much with it as looked lovely earlier and anyway we haven't got the time to set it again in rollers. Maybe I will just use some hair accessories to make it stand out.

“Hair accessories” I asked “what kind of hair accessories?”

“So many questions. Come on we haven't got time to dawdle. We only have a couple of hours before Adam arrives to collect you and we have lots to do. Moisturise your body and then join me in my bedroom”.

Over the next two hours I found out exactly what hair accessories my mom was referring to as she weaved hair slides and a pink ribbon into my curly hair, so it looked ultra feminine, but also sexy in a way.

Mom and Aunt Heather took great delight in redoing my makeup, so it was more sultry. Aunt Heather said it “was just the right look for a first date with a handsome fella”

Much to my annoyance Heather joked that when he saw me Adam would definitely be trying to get his leg over. I blushed terribly on hearing this as the last thing on my mind was to allow Adam to try anything on with me.

With five minutes to go before Adam arrived, as I primly sat on the edge of the sofa in the living room waiting for his arrival, I considered how I was dressed. Whilst I was in the bath, Mum had popped next door to Aunt Julia’s and explained that I had a date. Julia had told mum that she was saddened that I was seeing other boys as she had high hopes for Martin, and I.

Julia did however give Mum a selection of outfits that I could try on. Between Mum and Aunt Heather and with no participation from myself, they chose a wine coloured knee length leather pencil skirt and a capped sleeve black chiffon blouse for me to wear.

I got up and studied myself in the full-length hallway mirror. The skirt and blouse that adorned me were accompanied by flesh-coloured sheer tights and black ankle boots.

I thought to myself these are the only clothes that Adam is going to get sight of tonight and shivered when I thought of the sexy underwear that mum and Aunt Heather had insisted I wear. My black satin camisole was a necessity with the see through chiffon blouse; however, I didn't think it necessary to have to also wear a lacy black underwired bra and matching lacy G string panties. Even though I was fully dressed I still felt naked, and I didn’t like the way the G string positioned itself in the crack of my bum. It didn't feel right at all, however mum and Aunt Heather said that sexy underwear always gives a woman confidence.

I told Mum that I was afraid that Adam might try it on with me and was worried that he would find out I wasn't all that he thought I was. Mums’ response was to tell me to take the lead and slap his wandering hands away should he get too romantic. She also told me that she thought he was a good lad, and she didn’t think he would try anything on, on our first date, as she believed he would probably have more respect for me than that.

Despite Mum’s attempt to reassure me, I was still fearful and was getting anxious thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Aunt Heather sensing my nervousness suggested that should he try to get to amorous, that I tell him that I was on my period. She said he then wouldn't persist as guys get woozy when women mentioned anything about menstruation and women’s problems.

I understood exactly how he felt, however both Mum and Heather didn’t seem to have a problem sharing their experiences of periods and cramps with me. Me a boy, who they considered one of their own sex.

To back up my excuse, Heather suggested that I put some tampons in my handbag. Heather took some from her handbag and handed them to me. It felt strange excepting tampons from my Aunt. Heather didn't stop there however and also gave me a couple of condoms and with a giggle said “just in case dear”.

I nervously paced around the living room as I waited for Adam, however kept returning to the hallway mirror to nervously check my appearance. As I took in my reflection, I couldn’t stop smiling at myself as I thought I did look pretty. I was a very attractive young girl (and clearly vain) who most guys would try to cop off with. My tight leather skirt seductively clung to my bottom and my moisturised denuded legs looked fabulous in my shear tights. My 3-inch-high pencil thin ankle boots resulted in me unintentionally walking in a very sexy way, as I could only shimmy in the heels and the stiff skirt that moulded itself to my lower body.

Thankfully the blouse I was wearing was not too tight and flowed cross my upper body. I did think that it would however allow Adam glimpses of my bra and camisole under the chiffon fabric. He would probably think that I was trying to score with him!

I thought he would certainly be turned on when he saw me, and I thought it unlikely that his mind would be100% on the film. As I plucked at my skirt and blouse I thought that my mind would also be elsewhere.

I took in the smells that radiated from my body, from the feminine body wash, flowery deodorant, perfume and hairspray that adorned my petite body. If my looks didn't get Adam aroused, then my sweet-smelling body certainly would.

Although the house was warm, I shivered at the thought of what the evening would bring. I momentarily considered running up the stairs and taking everything off. I knew however that this wasn’t possible and Mum would insist that I uphold my promise to go out with Adam.
I accepted my destiny as I again looked in the mirror for umpteenth time.

Mum joined me in the hallway “Good god Joanne you spend more time looking in that mirror than is good for you. There is no need to be worried. You will have a lovely time with Adam. I'm sure of that”.

I heard a car pull up outside and took one last look at my reflection taking in my dangly hooped earrings and pretty gold necklace. I played with the four thin bracelets on my right wrist and checked the time on my white-faced tiny watch on my left wrist.

Mum came behind me and squirted some more perfume on my neck and then mischievously lifted my tight skirt and sprayed some in the direction of my thighs.

“Mother what are you doing” I girlishly shrieked “I smell enough as it is”.

Both Mum and Heather giggled at my protests as I pulled the hem of my tight skirt down as far as it would go, which was only to just above my knees.

I had one last check of my make up. I really did look cute and felt very grown up beyond my actual years.

Adam rung the doorbell as I grabbed for the black leather jacket hanging from the stair banister. Aunt Julia had been kind enough to also lend me the sexy jacket which was made of the softest leather. Mum draped a black silk scarf around my neck, as I struggled to get the waist length jacket on.

Heather answered the door and greeted Adam.

“Hi Adam. Fancy seeing you here. You look handsome love. Are you here to take my darling Niece out for a good time? She asked knowing full well why he was standing on our front doorstep on the wet and breezy evening.

“Come in Adam” I instructed him. “You are getting wet. Take no notice of these two. I think they have had too much wine and are acting juvenile”.

Both mum and Aunt Heather found my outburst to be funny.

Mum spoke “Juvenile. Listen to her Adam. Stop being so uptight Joanne. Can't we have a little joke?

I was embarrassed that Adam was viewing this silly carry on and to rescue the situation I told him “Let me get my handbag and we can be on our way”

Adam stood just inside the hallway and from his expression I could see that he was uncomfortable for me.

You look lovely Joanne” he complemented me “you look really pretty”.

Not knowing exactly how to take the compliment, I awkwardly stretched up on my heels and gave him a little peck on his cheek and told him “Thank you. You look lovely yourself. You smell great also”.

Mom and Heather looked on obviously enjoying the scene playing out before them as I took control of the situation. After fetching my handbag and making sure my front door key was inside, I zipped up my coat and unconsciously took Adam’s hand in mine and led him through the door into the darkness of the night.

“Don’t wait up ladies. I don't know what time Adam and I will be back” I playfully told them as Adam looked at me bemused as we walked down the garden path hand in hand.

I think Mum was surprised by my little outburst and shouted after me “Make sure you are in by Midnight latest young lady. You have work tomorrow”.

“Yes, mother I sarcastically shouted back.

I sensed that both Mother and Aunt Heather were still watching as we got to Adams car. He had a lovely Ford Escort XR3 which I knew to be very expensive. I thought to myself that one day I would love to be the owner of such a beautiful car, however I knew that it would be a long while before I could afford anything as good as this.

“I love your car Adam” I gushed” it’s my perfect car”.

“Do you know much about cars?” Adam asked “You are welcome to drive it sometime Joanne if you want to. Perhaps I can take you for a driving lesson.

I thought that I would to love to drive the car and would look good in it, however I knew that I would be nervous driving such a beautiful car and anyway Adam probably didn’t mean what he had said

He chivalrously opened the passenger door for me. I instinctively had the peace of mind to gracefully place my bum on the leather seat first, before swinging my legs into the footwell. My tight leather skirt and the soft leather seat swished as I turned to face forward. Despite my best efforts I knew that Adam had still got a good view of my nyloned legs

I caught Adam smile to himself as he shut the door and walked round to the driver's side. After getting in and fastening his seat belt, he reached across and helped me put my seat belt on. The belt nestled between my breasts accentuating my false boobs. Adam looked starry eyed at me. I thought I would have some fun at his expense

“Are you always this attentive with your dates Adam?” I asked

“Only with the ones as lovely as you Joanne”

I laughed at his cheesy response which succeeded in settling my nerves. I was now looking forward to the evening and intuitively knew that Adam was a good guy and would treat me well and look after me.

On the way to the cinema, we talked about Adam's car and how my driving lessons were going. We also talked about what music we both liked and when I told Adam that I liked soul and pop music he told me to root around in his glovebox for a cassette that I would like. I chose a compilation cassette of various artists, and we chatted as the music played in the background.

I felt at ease with Adam as there were no silent pauses during the 25-minute drive to town. We were getting on like a house on fire.

As we neared the cinema a new song started playing on the cassette. Adam laughed out loud as he realised the song was Joanna by Kool and The Gang. I could fell myself blush in embarrassment at the corny song.

Adam thought it would be funny to sing along and and as he pulled up into a car parking space and parked the car, he turned to me, took my hand in his and serenaded me.

“Joanna, I love you
You're the one, the one for me
Searched so far, searched so long
To find someone, someone to count on
Now I feel I've got it right here
Found it in you, baby, you, my dear”.

Listening to him sing the lyrics made me feel quite uneasy and I told him to “stop being a silly sod”. I thought he was charming though and he did make me laugh.

“You have a great voice Adam” I told him sincerely.

“Thanks Joanna” he teased “Maybe we can do a karaoke duet in the future”.

I smiled nervously as he continued to hold my hand, especially when he started sensually stroking my slim fingers, which appeared so small compared to Adam’s.

“No way Adam. I cant sing to save my life”.

“I bet you have a beautiful voice, Jo. I love how you talk, and I am sure you have the voice of an angel when singing”.

“I only ever sing in the shower. It’s probably just as well the water drowns out my noise” I joked.

“I guess I will have to share a shower with you Jo to find out whether you are telling the truth” He cheekily responded.

By now I felt really hot and bothered. I wasn’t used to so many compliments.

“In your dreams Adam” I bluntly told him taking my hand from his “Come on you evil boy. Let’s go in”.

Adam thought my comeback to be funny and he impishly smiled at me. He looked adorable in a mischievous way.

ADORABLE! What was I thinking. Although he was a good-looking lad, he was a lad just like me, although anyone who saw the couple exit the car would see one cute lad and a pretty girl with legs to die for