Mona Lisa
WRONG NUMBER
PART I: The Wrong Number
How extraordinary it was what a simple mistake could bring about! I had intended to phone my schoolmate and casual friend Matt about a homework assignment when my life took a decidedly unexpected turn. I dialed Matt’s number without paying too much attention since I knew it without having to look it up. The phone was answered after the third ring.
“Hello?”
Hey, that’s not Matt. That’s a girl’s voice! Oh shit, does Matt have a girlfriend? I didn’t know about that, the sly devil!
“Oh, er, hi. Is Matt there? I’m hope I’m not int--”
“Who the hell is Matt?”
I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. The girl’s remark had absolutely smashed my funny bone. I struggled to recompose myself.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude to you,” I said between giggles. “It’s just that your reply struck me as hysterically funny.”
I finally noticed that the girl was laughing, too.
“Oh, that’s okay. That remark was kind of rude, really.”
“That’s all right. Anyway, it looks like I dialed the wrong number.”
“No problem. It happens.”
“Well, I guess I’ll let you get back to… your life.”
Now it was the girl who was giggling at Kelly.
“You sound like a lot of fun. What’s your name?”
“I’m Kelly. How about you?”
“I’m Keri. It’s nice to sort of meet you!”
We both chortled into the phone.
“You too. So, Keri, it is all right if I ask you a personal question?”
She paused for a moment to consider.
“Why not? I don’t know you from a pile of dog shit, so what do I care?”
The laughter continued.
“You really crack me up! If you don’t mind my saying so I’m glad I got to talk to you. I hope I don’t sound like a sleazy creep. I swear to God I’m not!”
“Thanks for the compliment.” Keri paused as she realized the implications of what Kelly was saying. “How old are you?”
“I’m fifteen. How about you?”
“I’m fourteen. Hmmm. Okay, so at the worst, you’re only a teenaged sleazy creep.”
“I am not a creep!”
“Don’t worry, I believe you. I don’t know why I should, really, but I do.” She shrugged. “Eh, call it a girl’s intuition.”
“Okay. That works for me. You realize I’ll have to take your word for it that you’re fourteen, too, and not some slimy older child abuser.”
“Hey, you take that back!”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to insult you.”
“I know. I’m just kidding.”
“Oh, okay.”
“So, Kelly, right?”
“Yup, that’s right.”
“What are you wearing, anyway?”
We both erupted in laughter. It was a damned good thing she couldn’t see my face. It had turned red as a fire engine. Shit. What should I do, lie to her? No, I promised myself I would never lie to a girl. Of course, I don’t know this girl and I’ll never see her again. Then again; by that same token there will be no harm done if I tell her what I’m really wearing. The question is whether she’ll believe it.
“Kelly? Are you still there?”
“Er, yeah, I’m here,” I stammered.
“So, what are you wearing? I take it from your silence that it must be juicy-looking —- and I’ll just bet I wish I could see it, too!”
“Er, well, that really depends on how open-minded you are.”
Keri’s eyes were as big as satellite dishes. She answered slowly and with a pensive undertone.
“No shit! Well, now you’ve got me intrigued. Come on, spill it! I’ll tell you what I’m wearing. I’m wearing a purple long-sleeve cotton shirt, a denim skirt with a frayed hem and black tights. Your turn. Come on, now! Be a good sport!”
This was getting interesting —- fast! I took a deep breath and glanced at my closed door.
“Okay. I am wearing a floral turtleneck, short denim skirt, white nylon tights and canvas Mary Janes with flowers on the toes.”
Keri was perplexed — amused, but perplexed.
“So why I do I have to be open-minded about that outfit?”
“Because I’m not a girl.”
Keri stopped was she was doing and stared into space for a moment.
“You’re not?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Okay…” What the hell. I’ll bite, she thought. “So… you’re crossdressing, then?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Oh, is that all? No worries.”
“Wow, you really are open-minded. It’s nice to know that someone is.”
“I certainly hear that. So, why did you tell me? You didn’t have to. Don’t get me wrong, I have literally zero problem with that. Actually, I kind of like it,” she smiled devilishly. “I’m just curious why you opened up, that’s all.”
“Hmm, probably because I don’t know you from a pile of dog shit and it won’t matter anyway.”
We laughed at my regurgitation of her joke. Keri shrugged.
“Okay, that works for me.”
“Actually, the real reason is that I promised myself that I would never lie to a girl.”
Now Keri was positively tantalized.
“Really? I definitely like to hear that. Mind if I ask what brought that about?”
“No, not at all. Hey, I just admitted to being a crossdresser en femme, so this one’s a breeze in comparison.”
“Hmm, I guess so. Anyway, shoot.”
“Okay. Well, we’ve probably both seen guys lying to girls to… well, get what they want, to put it in the least disgusting terms possible.”
“Thank you for doing so, seriously.”
“You’re welcome. Anyway, they lie to their girlfriends, too, and that just really pisses me off. You have no idea how much that burns my butt.”
“I’m with you 100% on that one, I assure you. How come it pisses you off so much —- that being a good thing, by the way?”
“Oh, thank you! It pisses me off because…” I paused again. Oh, hell. There’s certainly no reason to hold back now! “…because I think they’re very lucky just to have someone and they don’t even know it.”
“You don’t have a significant other?”
“No, I don’t.”
“That’s okay. It sounds like you’re ready to find your next one. How long has it been since you had your last one?”
“Well, actually, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Ever.”
Again, Keri stopped what she was doing.
“Really? You haven’t? Is it because you’re a crossdresser?”
“Really, I haven’t, and it is because I’m a crossdresser. I’ve never been able to find enough confidence to ask someone out.”
Wow. Poor guy. She paused, considering her next words. Should I tell him? Yeah, he’s been honest —- I think -- and someone like him sure as well won’t have a problem with it. Besides, I don’t know him from dog shit, so what the hell!
“Well, Kelly, maybe you should know, since it sounds like you don’t already, that there really are girls out there who actually prefer boys like you.”
Now I stopped and stared into space. I had never thought of that!
“There are really? You’re not shitting me?”
“I shit you not,” she chuckled.
“Any idea where I can find one?” I kidded her.
“Well, actually…” She paused again. “You’re talking to one.”
I smiled, feeling her words buoying my heart with hope.
“Really?”
“Again, I shit you not!” We giggled together.
“Well, I think that’s terrific. I think you’re terrific, actually. Thank you so much for just being alive so that people like me have a chance, however small it may be.”
“Well, Kelly, I guess you’d have to thank my Mom for that one! She’s the one who brought me into this world. I hear it took 47 hours.”
“Well, kudos to her, then!”
“Thanks, Kelly. You know, I guess it’s my turn to admit that I’ve never had a boyfriend either.”
“Really? Is it because of what I think it is?”
“It sure is. I’m into boys who love dressing as girls and I have always been too scared to admit that -- until you called.”
I knew how lonely she must have felt. I knew deep in my heart. I decided that a dose of kindness was in order —- even though I didn’t know her.
“Well, you can rest assured that there are definitely boys out there who would be very glad to go out with a girl like you, who can appreciate us —- assuming there was enough in common, I mean. Anyway, I would know; I’m one of ‘em.”
Keri smiled as a tear slid out of her left eye. She felt a maddening temptation as a positively crazy idea popped into her mind. Maybe she was just that pathetically lonely, but her intuition insisted that I was for real. Still, she felt so afraid that she began to tremble. What if her intuition were wrong about me? She would be beyond crushed. She needed to think. She needed time. Think, Keri, think, dammit!
“So, Kelly, um…” she paused to wipe the tear from her eye. “What are your interests anyway?”
We’ll probably have nothing in common, just watch!
“First let me tell you what I’m not into at all. That would be sports and other physical activities… well, except for one I haven’t tried yet… which isn’t a sport.”
“Oh, I think I know which one you mean.”
We shared a nervous giggle. I hate sports, too. That’s a good sign, but then again, he’s not talking about his interests yet. Not a great sign. Keri sighed, covering her mouthpiece as she did so.
“Yeah, that one. Anyway, let me move on to what I am interested in.”
Keri braced herself for the inevitable. What where the chances?
“Good. I’m interested to know.”
“Well. Okay, er, let’s see. I’m mostly an artistic person, but I have interests all over the place. There are several scientific topics I like to read about, like Astronomy and Seismology. I actually have a telescope, too. If you haven’t seen the rings of Saturn, you’re in for a treat, I’ll just tell you that right now.”
“Wow. I would love to see that sometime. I love inspiring, beautiful things like that.”
I haven’t looked into Astronomy, but it definitely sounds interesting!
“Me, too. W-well, m-maybe I could show you sometime.”
I was beginning to feel a strong desire to meet this girl in public. She could weigh six hundred pounds and smell like garlic —- and dog shit —- for all I knew, but at that point I couldn’t have cared less. It wasn’t that I was pathetic enough to take whomever I could get. There was just something about this girl I couldn’t put my finger on.
“A-anyway, my first and foremost passion in this life —- since I’m still single,” I tittered into the phone, “is music. I love music. I play it, I can sing it, and I also write it.”
Keri sat bolt upright. No way! We have the same passion!? Keri's idea banged around in her head, refusing to be ignored.
“I–I love music, too! I love it more than anything, since I’m still single, too,” Keri stammered to contribute.
“Cool!”
That time, we were both too nervous to giggle. I noticed that she had mentioned her kindred passion for music very quickly and enthusiastically. She sounded interested… but, of course, I had no idea what in the hell I was doing when it came to romance.
“S-so, Keri, please tell me about your interests — the other ones, I mean.”
We managed a nervous giggle.
“I’m mainly artistic, too, and I love poetry and photography, but I also have pretty strong interests in Geology, Biology, and a few other things.”
“That’s great! I love poetry, too! Wow, we certainly do have a lot in common. Of course, I’m getting a funny feeling that this might be too good to be true.”
“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”
We were both filled with large doses of hope, nerve and doubt. Keri closed her eyes and tried to garner her nerve enough. Should I really do this? Probably not, but... oh fuck it!
“H-hey K-kelly, um…” She had to pause to steady herself. “I-I d-don’t really know how to s-say this b-but…” She could barely get the words out. “A-are you thinking w-what I’m thinking?” Keri’s intuition was playing tug-of-war with her mind, pulling it in two different directions. It was telling her that I was for real, but at the same time it insisted that it was never, ever a good idea to meet someone in person who had randomly called her on the phone. Her mind clouded up with nerve. She began taking deep breaths. She wondered what was going to happen. Would it be wonderful? Would she be abducted, raped and murdered? Most importantly, could she resist finding out? Well, I couldn’t!
“Yes!” I said it a bit too eagerly, but I supposed that I had nothing to lose -- maybe. I might get beaten up or murdered for being feminine and buried in the woods somewhere, but this crazy, bone-headed idea just might work —- maybe. I rolled my eyes at my own folly. “How should we do this?”
By this point, we were both taking big, deep breaths. I was shaking with nerve.
“W-well, s-somewhere p-public.”
“Yeah. Public would be good. Maybe a mall.”
I was trembling more than I had been during the last earthquake I had been in!
“Yeah, yeah, a-a mall is good.” Keri closed her eyes and took another breath. “U-um, w-w-when do you w-want to…” she trailed off, taking another deep breath.
“Good question. How about Saturday?”
That would give us three days to think things over. Keri liked that. She relaxed a bit, knowing that she had time to think. She realized that part of her wanted to meet right then, but no, it would be better to wait. Her mind cleared up enough to think of a thing or two.
“Yeah, Saturday’s… Saturday’s good. How about noon?”
“Noon sounds good.”
“Okay.”
She took another deep breath.
“Which mall should we go to?”
Keri tried to think of a mall that was nowhere near where she lived. There was a mall across town that she knew would be thronged on a Saturday at noon.
“How about Spruce Village?”
“Okay, that sounds good.” I took a very deep breath. “Okay, Saturday at noon at Spruce Village? Should we meet in the food court?”
“Yes, there should be plenty of people there.”
“Yeah. Wow, are we really doing this?”
“Yes, we are,” she confirmed her intent to show up.
Keri understood that the true reason for her fear was that she was going to go through with this. Otherwise, there would be nothing to fear. She could simply hang up -- even if the idea of hanging up filled her with more nerve that she might pass up on something wonderful. I can’t believe I’m going to do this. This is profoundly stupid of me!
“Hey, um, Keri, how will we recognize each other?”
“Oh, good question. I hadn’t thought of that.” My mind is too full of thoughts of assault and premature demise -— or having my heart broken.
She tried to think of what she would wear, but it proved difficult. Meanwhile, I could hear in her voice that she was positively petrified of taking this chance. I decided there might be a way I could make it easier on her somewhat —- although it could make me a hate target more than anything else.
“I’ll tell you what.” I swallowed. “I am going to come as a girl. I will wear the outfit I described to you a few minutes ago. Do you remember it?”
“Y-yes, I think so. Um, floral turtleneck, denim skirt, white tights, and canvas Mary Janes?”
“Good memory, Keri!”
“Thank you.” She paused for a moment. “Okay, well, um.” She hesitated again. “I’m sorry, um… I’m kind of frazzled at the moment.”
I tried to inject a dose of humor into the conversation to help us both feel more at ease.
“I don’t blame you. I’m feeling kind of mind-fucked right now myself.”
We erupted in laughter. Keri relaxed a bit, but she felt overwhelmed and needed to hang up.
“You crack me up, too, Kelly. Well, um, I think I need to, um, pour myself a double-scotch right now.” We laughed again. “Just kidding. I don’t drink —- yet,” she giggled, and I couldn’t help snickering myself.
“I’m feeling the same way. It’s probably a damned good thing nobody around here has any pot —- that I know of -- because I’d probably smoke it.”
We laughed out loud.
“Just kidding; I’d never touch the stuff.”
“Well, I am glad to hear that. I wouldn’t either. A big drink once in a while will probably be fun, but no drugs, thank you very much. Okay, Kelly, I’m kind of overwhelmed and I think I need to hang up now.”
“I hear you loud and clear. I’ll let you go then.”
“Okay. See you Saturday, I guess.”
“Yeah, Saturday.”
“Okay.”
“All right.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
At approximately three o’clock the next morning, Keri awoke in a cold sweat. She had had a nightmare about being chased by a faceless psychopath who was always two steps behind her no matter how fast she ran or how many turns she made. She knew that she would not be able to get back to sleep. She got out of bed and began pacing. She walked slowly around her room wrestling with her own mind, second-guessing her decision to meet the stranger —- and her sanity.
Finally, six o’clock came. Keri knew that Chloe would be awake because Chloe was a morning person who usually rose at six. Keri grabbed her phone and hastily dialed Chloe’s number. She messed it up a couple of times before she got it right. Chloe’s phone began to vie for her attention and she picked it right up.
“Hello?”
“Chloe, it’s Keri. You’re not going to believe this…”
Soon, Chloe was fully versed on every detail.
“Okay, Keri, sweetie, you know I love you, but why in the flying fuck are you going through with this???”
“First, I don’t want to make this guy sit in a mall by himself like an asshole. That would not be nice--”
“You are too nice for your own good. He called you; don’t forget that.”
“Yeah, but I was the one who finally put the idea of meeting on the table.”
Chloe sighed with exasperation.
“Okay, what else?”
“Half of my intuition insists that he’s for real.”
“And the other half?”
“The other half says he’s a fucking liar who would do the world an immense favor if he took a long walk off a short cliff.”
They both laughed out loud.
“Okay, any other reasons?”
“Three, actually. You know, it is possible to get a look at him before I actually approach him. He has no idea what I look like since I never told him —- so give me some credit for having a few noodles left up there —- and it would be safe enough just to see what he looks like.”
“Okay, I guess you have a point there. It would be plenty easy to turn around and leave. So what are your other reasons?”
“Well…” Keri paused to collect her thoughts. “This one’s awkward because it’s something nobody in this world knew about until I told Kelly about it last night.”
“If that’s really his name.”
“Yeah. If that’s really his name.”
Keri began to doubt herself.
“Okay. Sorry, I interrupted. Please do tell.”
“Okay. What I revealed to Kelly last night is that I am into guys who love to dress as girls and–“
“You are? Seriously?”
“Yes, I am. I prefer them quite a bit to the big, brainless apes who would never do such a thing. Please don’t laugh at me.”
Chloe shrugged.
“I won’t. That’s fine. I have no problem with that. Lots of people have secret preferences, you know. It’s certainly harmless.”
“Really? What’s your secret preference?”
“I like hairy backs. Don’t ask —- and please don’t tell.”
“Okay, I won’t. I don’t care anyway. It’s like you said, just a harmless secret preference.”
“Right.”
“Anyhow, I’m glad you don’t mind these things because Kelly is a crossdresser. In fact, he will be dressed as a girl when we meet him.”
“Wow. Okay. So you’re sure you’re going to go to the mall and meet this guy dressed as a girl on Saturday at noon?”
“I’m ninety-nine and a half percent sure that I want to do this, yes.”
“Then I am absolutely coming with you and I will not take no for an answer.”
“No worries. I’m glad you’re coming.”
“Okay then, that’s settled. We should probably ask others to come, too.”
“I thought about that, but if this guy is for real, he might be humiliated. By the way, speaking of the possibility he’s for real, do you know how hard it is to find a guy who loves to dress as a girl?”
“It’s probably really damned hard. I mean, sure, lots of them play around with it at Halloween or a fraternity initiation or something, but that’s not the same as loving to dress as a girl.”
“Exactly. So, that’s my other reason for doing this.”
“Okay, fair enough. You may yet have one or two marbles left in the game.”
“Well, one of them is probably a gum ball or something.”
The shared a laugh.
“All right then, sweetie, Saturday at noon it is. Want me to pick you up?”
“That would be great, Chloe. It's probably a good thing that I'm not enough to drive. In my current state of mind, I’d probably drive into a house.”
They cackled merrily at Keri’s early dementia before they said their goodbyes and hung up. As soon as Keri put her phone down on her desk she realized that Chloe would be a total surprise to Kelly —- and she didn’t have his phone number to tell him. Then again, Kelly just might bring a friend, too…
I was every bit as much of a mess as Keri was. I couldn’t stop shaking whenever I thought about meeting her. Telling her about my secret over the phone was one thing, but going to a mall dressed as a girl was entirely different. I had dressed as a girl many times before, and I had even grown my hair to my shoulders to perfect the look, but I had never left the house en femme! I had no idea what to expect, and I was very scared to find out.
Shortly after I hung up with Keri, it occurred to me that I should probably have a friend or two come with me. After all, Keri could be part of a family of con-artist psychopaths. There was even a real series about that very thing on TV. For all I knew, Keri could have been 112 and had a young voice. My intuition, however, obstinately refused to let it go. During the entire conversation Keri had felt truly real to Kelly. Keri would have to be a better actress than Vanessa Redgrave to pull off that kind of realism. Still, the chances of Keri being real were equally minuscule. Of course, I had called her, not the other way around.
I called up my friend Stevie but had no luck. Jamie and Kris were also unavailable. I had one other friend left to try. I called Sarah to see if she could come. I was hesitant to show up with another girl because I didn’t want to give Keri even the slightest impression that I wasn’t being honest with her. If she was for real, it would devastate her. However, nobody else so far could make it and having Sarah was wiser than going alone. Besides, Sarah and I would never work romantically. We had tried but it was a complete failure. I was glad we were still friends, though.
Sarah picked up on the second ring. She had a very unusual way of answering a phone.
“Who’s this?”
“Hi, Sarah. It’s me, Kelly.”
“Hey, honey, what’s up?”
That had become her little joke when we’d found out we didn’t work romantically. I sincerely hoped she wouldn’t say that in front of Keri —- assuming Sarah could come.
In short order, I gave Sarah the full story of my extraordinary experience with Keri, who I hoped against hope was real.
“Okay, okay, hold the fucking phone. You’re going to do what??”
“I’m going to go to the mall, dressed as a girl, and meet a complete stranger I accidentally called who just might murder me for being too feminine. What on earth is the problem?” I couldn’t resist gently jabbing at Sarah.
“You are a meat-head. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, dear.”
I continued our failed romance joke —- and made a mental note not to do that in front of Keri, for the love of Heaven.
“So are you coming or are you going to leave me in the hands of fate —- and possibly a psychopath?”
“I should let you go alone. Normally, I would not do that to you. This time, however, I have to visit my senile ninety-eight year old grandmother who doesn’t remember me anymore. I am totally serious, sadly enough. So, I can’t make it. What about the others?”
“I got no love —- other than, possibly, from Keri.”
“Oh, don’t go there, just don’t, okay? She’s probably a transsexual or something.”
“Sarah, that’s not nice to transsexuals.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Do you have a problem with transsexuals? I mean you know how much I love to dress as a girl. What if I were a transsexual?”
“I would accept you totally. You know that. I do not have any problem with transsexuals. I was just trying to… be funny, I guess. It flopped. I’m sorry.” Sarah paused for a moment. “Wait, are you saying that you might be transsexual?”
Dead silence.
“Well I-I was only saying, y-you know, theoretically.”
Really? Was I?
“Okay, honey. Well, look, can you get a look at her before you approach her? At least then you could quietly leave if you don’t like what you see.”
I squirmed as I answered.
“Er, actually, I can’t. I told her what I would be wearing and I didn’t ask her what she looks like.”
“You bone-head! Well, make damned sure the place is crowded. If it’s not, you should leave." Sarah paused as a thought occurred to her. "You know, you might be able to pick her out of the crowd, if you can spot a girl who looks unusually wigged out.”
“You’re right. I might know who she is.”
If she is for real, I might even know it with my heart. Wait, Sarah’s right: don’t go there.
“Okay, Kelly, well good luck with this. Please call me within an hour to let me know you’re okay, will you please do that?”
“Of course I will. That’s actually a really good idea; that way you’ll know to send the police if I don’t call you.”
“Exactly.”
“All right, well I will definitely do that. Well, talk to you Saturday, I guess. I hope this goes well.”
“Good luck… you big dummy!”
Friday night came and I tried to get some sleep, but I was too nervous about meeting Keri. What was really going to happen? Would I still be alive the following night? It was no use. I could not sleep.
Keri wasn’t sleeping much better. She tossed and turned all night, too restless to relax. She finally fell asleep at around three o’clock in the morning, but awoke after another nightmare just before six.
TO BE CONTINUED! COMING NEXT IS PART 2: THE MALL
WRONG NUMBER
PART 2: The Mall
The big day had finally arrived. I checked my outfit in the mirror. I looked very nice in the floral shirt and denim skirt. I had managed to run my hair through my straightening iron to make it look extra-special. I had done my makeup beautifully. I had decided I wanted to look as good as possible so that I could blend in with the crowd if need be. I felt good enough about my appearance but I stood before my mirror, looking myself in the eyes and trying to figure out what in the hell I was thinking.
Keri dressed herself in a lavender corduroy skirt and a matching, long-sleeve cotton top. She had debated herself over whether to wear hose. Pantyhose would be too alluring if I did turn out to be a psycho. Ironically, going bare-legged posed the same problem: there would be too much skin exposed and this would only draw a pervert all the more. She decided she’d better wear a pair of opaque tights. She picked out a pair of white ones and slipped them on. She stood before her mirror and tried to think of what she would say when she met this stranger named Kelly.
I arrived at the food court and began looking for a girl who would be doing exactly what I was. I didn’t see anyone who matched that description, but then I was two minutes early, according to a glance at my watch. For a second or two, I stood at the edge of the eating area in the middle of the food court, wondering what I should do. Should I stand, to make it easier for her to find me? Should I grab a table, so that we could both sit down? Keri might feel more comfortable with a table between us, at least at first. I decided to choose a table in the middle of the dining area. I knew that I was tired from lack of sleep and Keri might very well be in similar condition. I turned toward a table big enough for four people in the center of the eating area.
Just after I turned my back on the way I came in, Keri and Chloe arrived and began to search for me. Keri pointed out the girl sitting down alone at the table in the middle.
“Chloe, look toward the middle! I see a floral shirt. Do you think that's Kelly?”
“Oh, yeah. I saw a denim skirt and Mary Janes before she sat down. I think you’re right, I think that’s him. Nobody else is wearing a floral shirt, thank God for small favors.”
“Wow, if that’s him, he looks… beautiful. Are we sure that's a boy dressed as a girl? I could swear I'm looking at a girl.”
“I have to admit he does look great for a girl like him. Okay, are you ready to walk up to him yet?”
“Let’s just look for a few more seconds.”
“Okay.”
I sat down, sweeping my skirt out from under me, and crossed my legs. I resumed searching for a girl who would probably look more nervous than anyone else. My eyes focused on a girl standing near a plant. She was looking right at me, she was clearly very nervous —- and she wasn’t alone! She was absolutely beautiful. She had wavy, sandy blond hair that graced her shoulders. She had large, round, gorgeous blue eyes. Nah, she’s too beautiful. It couldn’t be. In your dreams, Kelly. Move along! My eyes hesitated a few more seconds, reluctant to interrupt their sumptuous feast, and I resumed scanning the area. Perhaps half a minute later, I heard someone address me.
“E-excuse me. A-are you Kelly?”
I knew that voice! I would know it anywhere —- and it was coming from the very same beautiful girl I’d spotted near the plant! She was standing right there in front of me! I couldn’t believe it! I had dreamed about being with someone so beautiful, like everyone else, but I would never have believed that it could happen.
My mouth opened a bit and I had to catch myself from letting it hit the floor. I had to fight to maintain my composure as I rose very slowly, staring at this heavenly girl, absolutely dumbfounded. Come on now, Kelly, think this through. She’s probably just a go-between because Keri’s so nervous about this. I’m sure Keri’s probably pretty, but she just cannot be this beautiful, so control yourself. Keri and I were both trembling with nerve and I struggled to say something. At first, all I could manage was a nod of my head as my hands held each other.
“K-Keri?”
Yeah. You wish. There’s NO WAY!
“Y-yes, I’m Keri.”
My legs wanted to collapse out from under me and I grabbed the table with one hand to steady myself. You’re doing okay, Kelly, but remember that she might just be pretending –- no, fuck that. Keri would not send in a gorgeous girl like this to take her place if she was afraid I was some pervert. That makes no sense. Oh? Do you really know Keri well enough to be sure?
Chloe, the clearest-headed one of us at the moment, stepped in to assist us.
“Hi, Kelly. My name is Chloe and I’m a good friend of Keri’s. She asked me to come for safety reasons. I hope you don't mind.”
“Oh, um, th-that’s n-no problem at all. I-I think that’s a s-smart idea, actually.”
“Well, I’m glad that’s going to work out all right. Kelly, you seem a bit doubtful about something. If I’m anywhere near the mark, this really is Keri. There’s no pretense here.”
I was still having trouble believing it. It was just too good to be true —- wildly too good to be true!
“Wow. I-I’m sorry, Keri. It’s just… I-I would never have believed that… that I…” I dropped my eyes sheepishly. “W-wait, let me start over. I’m m-making a fool of myself here. It just seems far too good to be true.”
An uncertain smile appeared on Keri’s face.
“I think I know what you’re trying to say. Thanks, I guess.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“I know what you mean. Also, um…” She hesitated a moment. “You look like a girl and not like…” She stopped herself. “…anything else.”
Her smile broadened enough for me to notice it. My hand was still on the table and I glanced at it as I realized that I should probably offer these two girls a place to sit down.
“Oh, um, I have a table here… would you like to sit down?”
“Yes, I would like to. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
We gingerly sat down around the table, Keri directly across from me and Chloe to one side. The place was plenty crowded, and it felt safe enough to be there. Still, maybe I should ask.
“Does this place feel safe enough to you?”
Keri nodded her head.
“Yes, I feel okay here. Thank you for asking.”
Keri’s intuition was telling her that I was for real —- or at least it was trying to.
“It’s no problem.” Okay, I want to start talking to this girl now. “Well, Keri, it’s really nice to see you in person. I um…” I momentarily looked at my hands before returning my gaze to Keri’s eyes. “I really enjoyed talking with you the other night. I’m glad I got the chance.”
Keri’s smile was gradually broadening.
“I really enjoyed that, too. I’m really glad you fucked up the number you were calling,” she broke the ice.
We all laughed out loud. Keri and I kept laughing after Chloe stopped. We were probably venting nervous energy. I looked back at Keri’s eyes and had to work a bit not to get lost in them to the point of spacing out.
“Anyway, um, I know that… well, I know that we still don’t know each other from dog shit,” we laughed again, “but, um, I wish there was a way to… well, prove that I am what I claim to be.”
“I know what you mean. I can’t give you my word, since you don’t know me from dog shit, and it can’t work that way, at least not yet.”
“Right, that’s just what I mean. I-I have this stupid feeling like we’re playing some kind of a Chess game or something--” Wait, I can prove part of it, at least. “Well, I can prove…” I glanced around while I cleared my throat. “I can prove the secret I told you over the phone,” I said quietly in my natural voice.
Keri seemed a bit surprised at the change in its pitch, but she seemed somewhat reassured. I had at least proven that I was a boy dressed as a girl.
“Okay,” she nodded, “I now know that part is absolutely true. This is good. You look really good, I have to say.”
I blushed at her compliment.
“Thank you, Keri. It’s good to hear that. This is actually the first time I’ve ever left the house dressed like this, so… it’s really good to hear that. Anyway, you look wonderful yourself.”
“Thank you. This is really your first time?” I nodded my head. “You did that for me?”
“Yes. I was hoping it would help you feel more comfortable. I have wanted to be myself in public for a long time and I guess this helped me find the courage to do it.”
Keri smiled sweetly at me. We both desperately wanted to find some way to verify each other and start having fun, but how?
“Kelly, I need to use the ladies’ room but I will be back… soon.”
I worried that it might not really be the ladies’ room she was headed for… so much as the nearest exit.
“Okay. Please do whatever you need to. I will be here.”
I watched, entranced, as Keri and Chloe rounded a corner to the left, toward the main entrance, and disappeared from view. After a few seconds of staring at the corder she'd rounded, waiting for her to come back, I remembered that I promised to call Sarah and let her know I was okay. I got my cellphone out of my purse and dialed her number.
"Hi Sarah, it's me calling to let you know I'm safe. Fortunately, she's in the bathroom -- otherwise I don't know how I would have gotten the chance."
"Kelly, I'm really glad you called. I know you're not late yet, but I was still worried. How's it going?"
"Great so far. She showed up with a friend and they're for real, Sarah. She was as nervous about meeting me as I was meeting her."
"Excellent!"
While they walked, Keri explained her idea to Chloe.
“That’s pretty clever, if it works.”
“Thanks, Chloe.”
Hell, I don’t think I need to do this. I think I trust Kelly. He just seems so… vulnerable. If he were a pervert he would probably be far more confident.
They approached the attendant of a small booth in the center of the corridor, just out of view from the food court.
“Excuse me.”
The attendant turned to Keri.
“Did you happen to see a girl come through here wearing a floral shirt and a denim skirt with shoulder-length brown hair?”
The attendant thought for a minute until a glint of recognition appeared in her eyes.
“Yes, I think I know the one you’re talking about. Why do you ask?”
“I just met her today. She’s a total stranger, actually. It’s kind of a blind date and I just wanted to try to verify that she’s legit. Did you happen to notice if she came in with anyone?”
The attendant thought for another moment.
“Hmmm. She was definitely alone.”
“Okay, good. Did she look like she was checking if anyone was falling behind or anything?”
“Oh, I think she was looking for someone, as though she was planning on meeting someone here, but I doubt that she was thinking of anything or anyone else. I guess she might have a companion who’s wondering around shopping that she’s reconnoitering with later, but she seemed to be completely oblivious to everything around her. I give it about a 99% chance that she came alone.”
“Good. Thanks for your help!”
“You’re welcome. You’re probably very wise to check it out. You can’t be too careful.”
“You got that right. Thanks again!”
“Okay. Have fun!”
The girls turned back toward the food court. I was still sitting there, looking very nervous, and very much unaccompanied. Keri couldn’t help smiling and I was powerless to resist reciprocating her.
“What do you think, Chloe? Is Kelly for real?”
“I’m really starting to think so. I haven’t seen anything suspicious.”
“Me either. He looks so sweet and vulnerable. A psycho predator would look a lot more confident, don't you think?”
“I’m guessing you’re right about that.”
The girls rounded the corner and headed toward me.
"Sarah, they're coming back. I should go."
"What does she look like?"
"Buh-bye!"
I hung up my phone and as the girls returned at the table, I stood again. The smile on my face must have looked completely goofy. We sat down again and Keri made a small confession.
“I want to be honest with you, Kelly. I wasn’t really in the bathroom. I was talking to one of those vendors in the corridor over there. Specifically, I was asking if she saw you come in with anyone. Apparently, you looked completely like you came alone.”
“That was a very smart move, Keri. Well done! I don’t mind at all. I did come alone. All of my friends are busy.”
I realized I was still holding my cellphone.
"Oh, I did just call a friend to report that I'm safe, though."
She smiled at me. Just as I began to get lost in her eyes again, I remembered that I had my state ID in my purse. I started giggling. Keri was curious.
“What are you laughing at?”
“I just remembered that I do have a state ID card right here in my bag. I guess I’m just feeling a bit mind fucked again.”
We all chuckled at my antics. I picked up my purse and began to fish for my wallet. Keri put her hand gently on mine, stopping me. The feeling so electrified me that I froze, just staring at her hand as another goofy smile commandeered my face.
“I don’t need to see it. But thank you.”
I put down my purse, took her hand in mine and looked up at her.
“I don’t need you to prove yourself anymore either.”
Keri and I had successfully conquered our fears —- but not our nerves. We were still in the company of persons we were very attracted to. Only a fraud wouldn’t feel nervous at such a time. We began sharing more information about each other and filling in blanks. We were both born and raised in the town where we lived. We had plenty of interests in common and enjoyed much of the same music. We discussed our families and the majors we were considering for college. Naturally, we both gravitated toward music. Our conversation wound down and we fell silent for a moment. Then something occurred to me that I found ironic and interesting.
“Hey, Keri, this whole time I’ve been… well, still amazed that this is not turning out too good to be true and…” I began to blush as I continued, looking down at my hands. “Well, when I first saw you, I just thought there’s no way you were Keri. I thought you couldn't be so beautiful. I thought there was no way. You know, ‘you wish’, ‘dream on, lover girl’, and all of that. Anyway, um…” I paused to catch my breath and look up at Keri. “It just seems like… it’s human nature to think that we will never receive truly good fortune, that we will lose out. I wonder why that is. Do we feel unworthy of such good fortune? Is it just too hard to believe that truly good fortune actually exists? I wonder what it is. It just seems like we’re all really hard on ourselves.”
Keri maintained steady eye contact. She took my hands across the table and warmly held them.
“Hmm. That is a very interesting point and I would love to know the answer. I’ve also been trying to rid myself of the feeling that this is too good to be true —- because it does feel that way —- and I know just what you mean. When I saw you, I pointed you out to Chloe and actually asked her if she thought we were looking at you even though you’re the only girl here wearing a floral shirt. I had the same thoughts you did, really. ‘No way, she’s way too pretty.’ ‘There isn’t a chance in hell.’ Actually I also thought you looked too much like a girl to be Kelly. That’s really fascinating that we both felt that way and thought the same things about each other. I think you’re right. People really do tend to be very pessimistic. Maybe it’s because it’s so easy to feel so powerless to affect your own life and change its course. Maybe it’s because we grow up learning time and time again that we can’t always have what we want and we get sort of beaten into a kind of hopelessness. But, somehow, our perceptions get distorted and we start thinking that we’ll never get what we want.”
“Yeah.” I gently stroked her hands with my thumbs. “I think it’s also true that even healthy humility can get in the way. I mean, think about it. Having humility means acknowledging that there is always going to be somebody better or more experienced than you are. A lot of the reason I took one look at you and thought there was no chance was that, well…” I looked sheepishly at our hands. “I’m not as experienced with romance as I would like to be and I swear to God, every time I decide that I like a girl there is always someone more experienced who steps in and that’s that. So, romantically, I always feel about as secure as an igloo in Florida.”
We laughed.
“I know the feeling.”
I gawked at her.
“You —- really, you do? I have to say I’m very surprised.”
Keri blushed and briefly looked down before resuming her eye contact.
“Thank you.”
“You know I think there’s this perception that all beautiful people must surely have had loads of partners, because after all, who could resist? Those ideas are probably wrong a lot of the time. Still, there is a definite speculation that we’ll never be the lucky ones and that someone else is always going to win. Then, of course…” I paused for a moment as I studied our hands. “There are those like me who start out at a social disadvantage--”
“Except for when they’re with girls like me. Then they have definite the edge over the others.”
That just about does it. I’m in love! I smiled brightly at Keri for a few moments.
“Thank you for saying that. It felt really good to hear it.” I paused. “You know, there’s another part of it right there. We tend to think that we’re at a disadvantage when we don’t really know that and sometimes we actually do have the advantage--”
“–and we don’t even know it.”
“Yeah, we get so caught up in all of this, this, this total bullshit that wreaks havoc on our sense of optimism.”
Chloe, who had been silent for a good while as she watched us bloom at each other, finally spoke. We had been sitting in the middle of a food court, steeped in the aromas from all of the cooking going on around us. It was finally getting to Chloe.
“Hey, you two, I’m sorry to interrupt, but are you getting hungry? I’m starving!”
As soon as she said it, my own hunger burst to the foreground of my consciousness.
“God, I am very hungry, too. How about you, Keri?”
“Yeah, I’m really hungry. Let’s get something to eat.”
“You two go up first. We’ll take turns.”
“Oh, good call. That way we keep our table, right?”
“Gee, Keri, you’re smart,” Chloe mocked.
Keri and I rose to take our turn getting a late lunch. As we were chatting about what we wanted to eat, I looked down and notice that we were holding hands. I began giggling and smiled at Keri. She saw what I was tittering at and snickered, too. I’m sure I had the most ridiculous smile on my face. But then, so did Keri.
After Chloe returned with her lunch, we began chatting again, this time with Chloe participating rather than observing. When we finished eating and our conversation trailed off, Keri reluctantly dragged her eyes to her watch. She sighed with resignation.
“Well, I hate to say it, Kelly, but unfortunately I have to go. I’m due at a music rehearsal with my band, and I am severely tempted to blow it off, but it wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“Hmm, you’re right, you’d better go then. I hate to see you go.”
“I hate to go.”
We gave each other nostalgic smiles.
“Well, Keri, let’s exchange contact information.”
“Yeah, the problem with fucking up a phone number is that you never remember exactly how you fucked it up.”
We laughed.
“Yeah, right?”
Keri and I happily exchanged information —- and found out we could have gone to a mall about five miles closer to both of our homes. We laughed about the silly twist of fate as we threw out our trash and bussed the trays. We walked out of the mall together and stopped at Chloe’s car.
“Well, I guess this is as far as I go.”
“Well, did you drive? If not, hop in.”
Again, I got a goofy smile on my face. I had taken the bus! I climbed into the back seat with Keri, leaving Chloe alone up front.
“Where to, ladies?”
I gave her my address and we left the mall. Twenty minutes later, we sat in front of my house.
“Well, Keri, it was really, really good to meet you. I never thought I could possibly be this glad about screwing up.”
We laughed out loud.
“Yeah, it was awesome meeting you, too, Kelly.”
We embraced each other warmly. I went to let go —- but she didn’t. I resumed hugging her, in no rush to stop. Finally, we did pull back, but we held onto each other.
“I know I need to let you go, Keri, but…” I swallowed. “I want to give you something before I go. I hope it’s not inappropriate since we just met, after all, but… I can’t resist.”
“Okay. What is it?”
She had a pretty good idea what it was and she was absolutely right. I answered her by kissing her squarely on the lips. What a kiss that was! How can I describe something like that? I think the answer is that I can’t. What I can say, is that the kiss must have lasted quite a while, because Chloe looked at her watch and politely cleared her throat. When we ignored her, she spoke up.
“Eh, Keri? I hate to break up your wonderful kiss that I don’t envy at all, really I don’t, but um…” She laughed. “You really are running late, sweetie.”
She had us laughing too, and it ended the kiss that came direct from Heaven.
“Okay, I guess I have to let you go now. I will call you, of course. Like tonight.” We giggled. “And I’ll try not to fuck up your number.”
We laughed again and I began to get out of the car.
“Kelly, wait.”
“Yes?”
I sat down again on the back seat and looked back at Keri. She grabbed me and returned my kiss. Chloe rolled her eyes and smirked.
“Oh, Jesus! You two belong in a B-rate romantic movie.”
Yet again she ended our kiss.
“Excuse me? B-rate me, will you!”
Keri’s pun did its thing and she had us laughing again.
“You know, Keri, we really need to get together without Kissus Interruptus over here,” I pointed at Chloe with my thumb.
“Oh, that’s cold,” Chloe retorted. “All right, Keri. We’re out of here! Buckle up, babe!”
“It was nice to meet you, Chloe —- thanks for the ride.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Kelly. You’re welcome —- if you get out right now.”
We laughed.
“Bye, Keri. I’ll call you later.”
“Bye. If you don’t, I call you!”
We gave each other one last wonderful hug and I stepped out of Chloe’s car. I stood at the curb and waved as I watched Chloe’s car disappear around a bend. I let out a very pleasant sigh, turned around, and walked into my house.
TO BE CONTINUED! NEXT IS PART 3: SECOND DATE
WRONG NUMBER
PART 3: Second Date
On the night of our first date, my sister Tara was playfully teasing me about my newfound romance while I dialed Keri's number on my cellphone. She giggled at me while I began talking with Keri. Keri and I had a really nice talk reminiscing on our first date and revealing everything about what we had feared going into it. At the end of the chat, we agreed to meet again at the same mall.
Our second date was a double-date with Chloe and her boyfriend. Keri and I were not worried about each other anymore by that point, but sometimes you had to do one more little thing to make your inner worry-wart shut the hell up. I was more than happy to make it a double-date. I would have done anything to see Keri again!
I showed up at the mall again dressed as a girl. This time, as a twist of irony, I wore an outfit nearly identical to the one Keri had described herself wearing during our first, fateful phone call. I had on a dark lavender top, denim skirt with frayed hem, and black tights. I wanted it to be my way of saying that the magic was still alive and well —- or that I wanted it to be, anyway.
She absolutely loved it! She wished that she had thought to do exactly the same thing, but she loved that I had. She took one look at me, dropped her jaw, ran over to me and gave me a big mind-blowing hug when she saw me. She looked wonderful herself. She wore a red top, khaki denim skirt and black tights.
We had much more fun on our second date because we were no longer concerned that we might be in mortal danger. We started out with a romantic comedy movie in the theater at the same mall where we had our first date. It was farther from where we lived than one or two other malls, but we were still feeling the magic of our first date and we didn’t want it to end. Chloe and her date, Joe, thought the movie had been dumb and cheesy. Keri and I both thought it was adorable. Sure, it had some campiness to it, but I was an idealist and a dreamer, so I loved it. Initially, I had worried about whether Keri would feel the same way, but I quickly learned that she had loved it as much as I had.
We walked out of the theaters, straining to adjust our eyes to the light and chatting about the film we’d just seen. Keri and I were hand-in-hand.
“What do you mean it was dumb? It was so sweet!”
“I loved it, too, Keri!”
Keri and I smiled at each other and squeezed each other’s hands. Chloe was ready with her answer.
“Oh God! It was unrealistic to the point of ruining it!”
“Y-yeah, I have to agree.”
“Of course you do, Joey. Your girl’s right here!”
“Good zing, Keri! Now that’s something I can agree with,” I encouraged her.
“I bet you loved it, Joe —- you’re probably a girl at heart!”
Keri and I giggled at her little joke. Joe merely blushed and Chloe rolled her eyes and decided to defend her man.
“You wouldn’t think so if you had him alone and intimate!”
“Why, are you two getting hot and heavy?”
“Uh, Kelly, you’re exactly three-quarters of a millimeter from crossing the line, so watch it!”
“Sorry. You’re right. That was a personal question.”
“That’s better,” Chloe smirked.
"Seriously, though, Chloe, why do you think it was so unrealistic?"
Keri wasn't about to let it go.
"Oh, gee, let's see, just for starters, it's a Hollywood script! Come on, Keri, how can you really think that Mr. and Mrs. Right would just happily meet at a department store? It's dumb luck, I tell you -- emphasize dumb!"
"Oh, Chloe, ten days ago you would have said the same thing about us," Keri glanced at me with something wonderful in her eyes.
Chloe mock-growled with exasperation.
"Yeah but how about the part where they get in different elevators to see if they come out on the same floor?"
"That illustrates that we're not always in control and that if we're patient enough, things can still work out. You have to admit, if that girl had waited another five minutes, they would have been reunited. He did choose the same floor, remember?"
Chloe rolled her eyes.
"But she didn't wait, that's the point! She took off -- and I don't blame her at all. I would have, too. I mean, how the hell was she supposed to know?"
I decided to completely derail Chloe in defense of Keri.
"It's not about knowing, Chloe. We can't always know. That's the point! It's about willingness to take a leap of faith. There definitely are times, as Keri and I have proven," I turned to look at Keri, "when you have to take that leap or else you just lose!" I looked back at Chloe. "That would be dumb!" I looked Keri deeply in her eyes. "I would have waited for you for hours, Keri -- if you still didn't show up I would have torn the building apart looking for you! I would have trusted that you wanted to find me, too."
"Awwwwwww!"
Keri threw her arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Chloe and Joe looked at each other with disgust.
"Look, all I will say is this: I just hope that, unlike in the movie, you two don't have some kid in a devil costume showing up in your elevator and pushing all of your buttons -- though you probably will."
"Pessimist!" Keri kidded her friend before giving her a hug. "If I do get a little devil in my elevator then I'm giving him a lollipop and shoving him out at the next floor!"
We laughed at Keri's humor. We walked back to the food court where we’d met and visited the same eateries. While we ate, we reminisced about our first meeting… for exactly three seconds before Chloe and 'Joey' drifted off into their own discussion.
“I still do think it was kind of crazy to come here and meet each other. It is the kind of thing you hear horror stories about in the news.”
"True, it is, but still, we both knew -- don't ask me how but we both knew -- that it would not turn out like that. We took that leap of faith -- and damn, but I'm glad we did!"
We smiled at each other happily.
“You know what, Kelly?”
“What’s that?”
“Remember what we talked about when we met about how people think they can never have really wonderful things happen to them?”
“Yes, of course”!
“That movie we just saw makes the same point. Chloe and 'Joey' over there," Keri raised her voice enough to make Chloe and Joe look over, "think it was lame but not us."
"Yeah, you and I are big enough optimistic, dreaming airheads to think it might actually be possible.”
“Hey, you take that back! I am not an airhead —- though, after last Saturday, I’m definitely working on it!”
We laughed and took a moment to eat something.
“You’re right, though, Keri. Chloe and Joey look at that movie and see some kind of lottery that nobody can win. They don’t even think it’s possible.”
“Yeah. Maybe it’s because they didn’t just have something out of a movie happen to them like we did.”
I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. She reciprocated with her free hand. We smiled at each other until our reverie was interrupted by Chloe —- again.
“Don’t tell me you two are talking about that stupid movie again,” she joked. “Just because you two risked your lives like a couple of complete idiots and it happened to work out of sheer dumb luck, it doesn’t make the movie realistic.”
“I think Chloe’s got a point there, ladies,” Joe tried to defend his date.
“You’re such an ass kisser!” Keri mocked him with a facetious scowl. We all laughed at Keri’s gibe. “Seriously, do you ever disagree with Chloe to her face?”
“Well, I-I--”
“You know, sweetie,” Chloe turned to him, “I can’t remember the last time you did.”
“Well, yeah b-but–“
“Don’t worry, sweets. I’m only kidding.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “I know you just prefer to pick your battles instead of just bitching whenever you feel like it.” Chloe playfully looked at Keri.
Joe seemed very relieved.
“Yeah, that’s right. I know when not to bring something up, that’s all!”
“Bwok, bwok!” Keri teased him by flapping her arms like a chicken.
I couldn’t help laughing at her. Then Keri turned serious.
“Anyway, Chloe, it was not dumb luck that Kelly and I found each other.”
“I don’t think it was luck either, Keri.”
I looked at her intently, clearly communicating that I thought otherwise. Chloe tried to have the last word.
“Oh? And what would you call it, airhead?”
Keri playfully glared at Chloe before responding.
“Well…” She looked over at me. “I would call it intuition mixed with a willingness to take a leap of faith. Granted, it was a leap that very, very few sane people would actually take, but still. I believe that Kelly and I knew intuitively that we should come and all we had left to do was take that crazy leap.”
I felt warmth surround my heart and I squeezed Keri’s hands. My goofy smile had returned.
“That’s just what I have been feeling, Keri. We just knew.”
“Kelly dialed the wrong freaking number, sweetheart, remember? That was a total stroke of luck!”
Keri looked smugly at Chloe.
“It wasn’t a wrong number.”
TO BE CONTINUED! NEXT IS PART 4: THIRD TIME IS... A COMPLETE DISASTER
WRONG NUMBER
PART 4: Third Time Is A... Complete Disaster
It was only natural that Keri and Kelly arranged for a third date before they parted company —- right after another thoroughly intoxicating round of kisses. This time, it was to be the two of them alone! Kelly was so excited to finally be with the love of his life all alone without that damn Chloe interrupting the best moments. Chloe was a great friend and they got along famously, but her patience could be a tad thin at times. Kelly couldn’t wait to finally be able to let love take its course uninterrupted. What was it that Kelly had said during the second date, something about being a dreaming airhead? Yeah, that was it!
Kelly dressed as a girl again before Keri arrived. Kelly had realized, the previous night, that Keri had seen Kelly-the-girl but never Kelly-the-boy. It was going so well and he didn’t want to risk any problems (irony of ironies). He had gone shopping and bought himself a cute, soft dark purple corduroy jumper with a pale lavender long-sleeve shirt to go under it. He already had a pair of white tights he could wear with it.
She arrived right on time and Kelly greeted her with a long, warm hug at the door. Kelly hadn’t put his make up on —- though he was otherwise ready —- so he led her up to his room. All of a sudden, everything went horribly wrong. When Keri saw his room, she stopped dead in her tracks and her smile faltered.
“Are you all right? What’s the matter?”
She was very flustered and Kelly could tell that she was about to cry.
“Oh my God. You're a girl!”
"W-what? No!"
"I'm so sorry, Kelly. I just didn't expect this to happen. I need to leave! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"
She ran down the stairs and Kelly ran after her.
"Keri, wait! Please!"
She opened the front door, turned around, and tearfully said, “I’m so sorry!” Then the door was closed behind her.
Keri’s sister, Sharon was responsible enough to wait for her sister to get safely inside before leaving the curb. She was about to meet up with her best friend, who was supposed to call her and confirm their plans. Sharon hadn’t heard from her friend and she used the opportunity to make a phone call while she waited for Keri to get inside. Better to do it at the curb then on the freeway. Her friend had answered and had just confirmed their plans when, out of nowhere, Keri ripped the door open, lunged inside, slammed the door, and begged for her sister to get them out of there. As soon as she had her seatbelt on, Keri burst into tears.
Sharon got the icy feeling that her sister’s date had turned out to be a freak after all. Without batting an eye, she did just what her sister wanted her to. She pealed out of there and took her sister home.
Kelly was beyond stunned. What in the hell had just happened? He closed the front door, still in shock and filled with worry that he would never see Keri again. He walked back up to his room to try to figure out what Keri had seen that made her come apart that way. He stood in his doorway, feeling steadily closer to crying, and looked around. The walls were light blue, the bed sheets were white with white embroidered patterns on them. They were old ones of Tara's and were definitely feminine. A few months previously, Kelly had revealed to his mother that he loved them and she very open-mindedly agreed to let him use them. The rest of his room was a mix of male and female, but he had feminized it because Keri seemed to like him as a girl —- or was there another reason?
Kelly had dug out a couple of his old stuffed animals from storage (a small Snoopy and a small, pale yellow horse) and placed them on the bed. He had cleaned up his room, and had replaced his Einstein and Howard Jones posters with a Cyndi Lauper poster and a print of a vase of flowers in an inexpensive frame. It began to dawn on him that Keri must have taken one look at his room and thought he was transgendered! She had said that she liked boys who dressed as girls, not boys who thought they were girls! Kelly gasped loudly as he felt an awful sorrow sweep through his body. He was sure that he would never see Keri again. He could no longer hold his emotions in. He began to cry inconsolably as he collapsed onto his bed, racked with heaving sobs.
He heard his mother and sister hurry into his room to see what was the matter. Tara let her mother do the talking.
“Kelly? Sweetie? What happened? I heard Keri run out the door. Are you crying? Did you have a fight?”
“No.”
Tara grabbed the tissues off of his desk and handed one to him before placing the box on the bed next to them. Kelly's mother took him in her arms and hugged him, stroking his hair. Kelly and his mother both knew that he was not just a crossdresser but Kelly, anyway, had no idea what that meant. His mother had known what she was doing when she allowed him to use Tara’s old bed sheets. His mother understood that he felt a need to explore and decided to support him in the process. Kelly figured that he had a definite feminine side that he needed to express regularly to be sane and that was it, but now he was not so sure.
“Does it have something to do with the way you’ve been experimenting with your identity lately?”
I nodded my head and blew my nose before I answered.
“She took one look at my room and ran. She likes boys who love dressing as girls but now she probably thinks I'm transgendered!”
“Oh no. Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I know how you feel about her.”
“She was so perfect and now I’ll never see her again! I knew it was too good to be true, I just knew it! I’m such an idiot!”
“What do you mean, honey?”
Kelly knew that his mother would never have permitted his first meeting with Keri and he had avoided that problem by "neglecting" to tell her how he and Keri met.
“Keri and I met randomly when I accidentally called a wrong number. We hit it off and found out we had a lot in common, so w-we… we met up at the mall. She brought a friend and I tried to but none of my friends were available.”
His mother was horrified that he had taken such a risk, especially without telling her, but that was hardly the time to discuss it.
“Why didn’t you ask me to come along?”
Kelly stared at her, wondering how on earth she could overlook the problem with a sixteen-year-old showing up for a date with his mother!
“Why do you think?”
“Oh, I see. Ordinarily you would have a point.”
"How about Tara?"
"I couldn't have gone, Mom. I had plans I couldn't have canceled."
“Mom, I know it was nuts to do it; it was just… I knew, Mom. I don’t know how, but I knew she was safe. If I had had any doubt I would never have done it.” Okay, that was a slight fib.
She was unsure she should believe Kelly, but it was not a good time to argue the point.
"Tara, did you know anything about this?"
"Not the part about it being so random, no."
"All right."
"Kelly are you sure that's why she left? It couldn't have been something else she didn't mention?"
"I don't know, Tara, but it sure as hell seemed to be something about this room that set her off."
Kelly dried his eyes and looked up at his mother.
“I think I need some fresh air to try to clear my head and think things through.”
“Okay sweetheart. How long, do you think?”
“An hour or so.”
Kelly's mother hugged him warmly.
“Okay, sweetheart, why don’t you do that. But be careful!”
“I will, Mom. Let me redo my makeup, though. I must look awful.”
Kelly's mother smiled at him and stood up to leave the room. Kelly smiled back weakly.
“You could use a little touch up. Anyway, I’m going to start dinner. It should be ready when you get back.”
“Okay.”
"Care to assist me, Tara?"
"Sure, Mom."
Kelly's sister and mother left the room to head for the kitchen and he opened his desk to get out his makeup. He didn’t need much at his age. He went into the bathroom, washed the mascara and lip gloss off of his face, and reapplied them. Satisfied with his freshened face, he replaced his makeup in his desk and headed for the front door. He paused at the door to shout goodbye to his mother before he walked outside and closed the door behind him.
Keri was too devastated to talk about what she experienced and Sharon drove in silence. When they walked in the front door Keri’s mother saw her face and came straight over to her.
“Keri, sweetie, what’s the matter? What happened?”
“I don’t know, Mom!”
“Go on upstairs and I'll bring you a cup of your favorite jasmine tea, okay?”
Keri hugged her mother.
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Oh, you’re welcome, sweetheart.”
As Keri and Sharon walked up the stairs, Sharon got the feeling that Keri was confused about something and might want some private time to figure it out.
“Hey, Keri, you seem like you need some alone time right now, but if you want to talk about it, please come and get me, okay?”
Keri stopped, reached for her sister’s arm, and led her into Keri’s room. Keri flopped down on her bed in a ball, with her head on her pillow, and Sharon sat next to her, trying vainly to console her.
“Keri, what happened over there?”
Keri opened her mouth to reply and a sob came out.
“Did she do something to you?”
“N-no, she didn’t do anything. I just…”
Keri cleared her throat and a second later her mother walked into the room with the sweet smelling jasmine tea. Jasmine tea had long been a kind of comfort food for Keri. The fragrance and the warmth of the tea had always done a wonderful job of relaxing her. Keri’s mother set the tea on the night stand and Keri sat up to blow on it and take a sip.
“Keri, sweetheart, please tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused. We went upstairs to Kelly’s room and for some reason when I saw her room I freaked out.”
“What did Kelly’s room look like?”
“Almost like a girl’s room.”
“Any idea why that freaked you out, sis?”
“I don’t know. I just know that I expected to see a boy’s room and something about it being a feminine room just made me panic.”
Keri stared into space, finishing her tea, trying to figure herself out.
“Would you like another cup, sweetheart?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
Keri waited until her mother was downstairs before leaning close to Sharon.
“Sharon?”
“I’m here, sis.”
Sharon rubbed her sister’s shoulders.
“I’m a lesbian.”
“Wow. I can see how it might feel scary to find out something like that. Well, it’s totally okay with me; it’s no problem at all. I love you now matter what, you know that.”
“Thanks, Sharon." Keri hugged her big sister. "I just didn’t know until now. With a room like that, Kelly must be transgendered. I didn’t know that either. I thought she was just a crossdresser. I thought I was attracted to boys who love dressing as girls, but when I walked into Kelly’s room and saw how feminine it was I knew he was really a girl. Then it hit me that I am in love with a girl! I am a lesbian and I was totally not ready for it.” Keri took a deep breath. “It just really sandbagged me.” Keri began to cry again. “Kelly probably thinks that I don’t want to be with him anymore!”
“Oh, no!”
“I really need to call her, but… I’m still a mess right now. I need to pull myself together first.”
“Yeah, I think that's a good idea.”
Keri’s mother returned with a fresh cup of jasmine tea and Keri took it eagerly.
"Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome, honey."
Keri's mother kissed her daughter on the top of her head. Keri knew the tea would help her calm down, just like it always did. She took her time with her tea, letting it do its magic.
"Could I have some privacy, please?"
"Of course. Come on, Sharon."
Keri's family left to give her some privacy. When Keri finished her tea, she put the cup in the saucer on the nightstand and closed her bedroom door. She pulled her cellphone out of her purse and dialed Kelly's number. She got his voice mail. For a moment, she considered leaving a message, but she decided to try again in five minutes. She paced around her room and tried to think of what to say. When five minutes elapsed, she tried again and got no answer.
She tried again several times during the next hour and got Kelly's voice mail every time. She realized that her number would be displayed on his cellphone and he definitely knew she was calling. She began to wonder if Kelly was refusing to take her calls. Tears began to leak from her eyes again. She threw her door open and ran to Sharon’s room.
“Sharon! Sharon, he’s not answering his phone. I’ve been trying for an hour. He knows it’s me and he's not answering. You have to take me back there! Please??”
“I’d be happy to. Anything for love!”
Keri threw her arms around her sister.
“Come on, let’s go.”
Keri ran down the stairs to grab her jacket.
“Mom! We’re going back to Kelly’s house!”
Keri’s mom came out of the living room to see what was going on.
“What’s happened?”
“Kelly’s not answering his phone and he knows it’s me. He won’t take my calls! I have to talk to him!”
“You go get him, honey!”
“Thanks, Mom!”
Keri hugged her mother quickly.
“Come on, Sharon!”
Fifteen minutes later, Keri leapt out of Sharon’s car and ran to Kelly's front door. She rang his doorbell and waited breathlessly for someone to answer. Nobody did. She rang the bell again and nothing happened. She could swear that she smelled food cooking. She rang the bell one last time and tried to look into the house through a narrow window next to the door. She couldn't see anyone and she didn't hear anything. What the hell was going on? She went back to the car.
TO BE CONTINUED! PART 5: TURN FOR THE WORST
Author's note: This part and ensuing ones are narrated in the third person rather than first person. It avoids confusion this way! :)
WRONG NUMBER
Part 5: Turn for the Worst
“Sharon, nobody’s home! Shit, I have to talk to her! Let me try to call her one more time.”
“Okay.”
Keri sat down in the car, pulled out her cellphone and dialed my number. This time somebody answered -- somebody who had clearly been crying.
“H-hello, um, this is Kelly’s phone.”
“Hi, this is Keri calling. I really need to talk to her. Is she there?”
The voice began to cry again.
“Keri, this is Tara, Kelly’s sister. Kelly had a terrible accident.”
“What?? What happened??”
Keri’s voice became a big lump caught in her throat.
“She thought she lost you. She was out walking to try to clear her head and she was so preoccupied that she walked right out in front of a car!”
“Oh my God!! Is she going to be okay?”
Keri began to cry.
“We’re still waiting to hear.”
“Where is she?? Which hospital??”
Sharon’s mouth opened in horror and she covered it with one hand. She started the car and prepared for takeoff.
“County General.”
“We’re on our way, right now!” She turned to Sharon. “County General — go!”
Sharon dutifully mashed the accelerator and headed for County General Hospital.
“Tara,” Keri managed between sobs, “if she wakes up before we get there, please tell her I love her and I’m coming as fast as I can. Oh, Tara, she didn’t lose me!”
Tara was still crying.
“I will tell her. Thanks Keri. I’ll see you soon.”
Keri hung up her phone.
“She was hit by a car, Sharon! She went out walking and she was so upset because she thought she lost me that she walked right out in front of a car! I’m going to lose her! I knew it was too good to be true!”
Keri completely broke down and began to bawl. Sharon, meanwhile, just wished that someone else could drive the damned car so that she could comfort her sister. Sharon managed to pull a package of tissues out of her center armrest and hand it to Keri.
“You are not going to lose her! You two are meant to be together. You’ll see.”
Tara and my mother sat in the waiting room desperate for news about Kelly. They looked up to see Keri running towards them, with Sharon not far behind.
“Is she okay?? What are they saying??”
My mother stood and embraced Keri.
“We still don’t know, sweetheart. They gave her an MRI and there are internal injuries. There’s something about a serious external injury as well. She’s in surgery now.”
Keri began to cry again, burying her head against my mother’s shoulder. Sharon put one hand on Keri’s back and Keri threw her arms around her sister. Tara approached them and hugged them both. Keri began to wail.
“It’s my fault! If only I hadn’t run out of the house like that! Kelly was thinking about me! It’s my fault!”
“No it’s not, Keri. That wasn’t what I meant when I said she was preoccupied with you. Besides, you didn’t tell her to walk into the street without looking where the fuck she was going!”
Tara covered her eyes with one hand.
“Tara! Don’t you ever say that again! Kelly is human and she was devastated.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it like that. Nothing is coming out of me right.”
My mother’s expression softened.
“Come here, sweetheart. We’re all very upset.” She took Tara in her arms.
Having her daughter in her arms brought another thought to her mind.
“Keri, honey, you should probably let your mother know where you are.”
“I’ll do it, Keri. You wait here for news.”
“Thanks, Sharon.”
Sharon walked a short distance from the rest of the group and made the call.
Fifteen minutes later, Keri’s mother came hurrying in.
“Hello, you must be Keri’s mother. I’m Anne. You’re very kind to come.”
“I’m Carol. Keri mentioned that your husband passed some time ago and I thought you could use the support.”
“Yes, I’m very grateful. Thank you!”
“Is there any news?”
“No, not yet. We’re still waiting.”
They embraced and my mother filled Carol in on what little she knew so far. Tara and Sharon hadn’t met each other’s mothers and properly introduced themselves. Once the “pleasantries” were taken care of, they could do no more than wait.
The next four hours were the most agonizing of Keri’s life — or Tara’s or my mother’s. Keri spent the first thirty minutes pacing around the room. She was very tired from everything that had happened and she curled up in a ball on one of the chairs. For the next half an hour she alternated between looking at her watch and looking around for a doctor who might deliver some badly needed news. Over the next three hours, she became quite drowsy but couldn’t bear the idea of falling asleep and missing any news. She put up quite a fight to stay awake.
Finally, a doctor emerged from a nearby double door and trudged toward them. Keri’s head shot up when she heard someone approaching. As soon as she saw the doctor approach, she jumped out of her chair.
“I’m her girlfriend. Is she going to be okay?”
“Where’s the mother?”
“Here!” My mother stood and identified herself.
“I am Dr. Steven Goldberg.” He shook her hand. “I have good news and I have bad news.”
“Please just tell me,” begged my mother.
“The good news is that Kelly is stabilized and will recover fully. He has four fractured ribs and he has lacerations to his liver and spleen but we were able to successfully repair that damage.”
Keri began to cry with cautious relief — as did the other three ladies. My mother, however, had to know everything.
“What’s the bad news?”
The doctor lowered his voice.
“I'm afraid that his testes were destroyed in the collision. We’ve had to remove them. According to the paramedics, the vehicle that hit Kelly has a large hood ornament in the shape of a Jaguar, and the damage is apparently due to impact with that hood ornament.”
Keri’s mouth opened and she covered it with both of her hands. Carol put an arm around my mother as the doctor continued.
“Now, I do have one question to ask you. Normally, the next step at this point is to start Kelly on testosterone replacement medication, but Kelly came in dressed as a girl, complete with long hair and everything. If you feel it would be best, we can delay giving Kelly testosterone until you consult with a psychiatrist -- at least, we can for a time. Kelly seems not to have begun puberty yet and it is possible to chemically delay puberty so that Kelly can have more time to think things over. Do you think Kelly might prefer that?”
My mother nodded her head.
“I think it would be best, doctor. You know, I caught a couple of episodes of a soap opera with a male-to-female transsexual character in it whose body, unfortunately, is male to the point of very broad shoulders and a very pronounced jaw and… if Kelly is a girl… and if we can save… her… from that…”
Dr. Goldberg nodded his head.
“I understand completely. Oh, one other thing. If Kelly should go in this direction, she still has enough nerves and tissue for a gender reassignment surgery."
"Okay. Thank you, doctor."
"Do you have any questions?"
"No, I don't think so."
"All right. I'm going to summon the psychiatrist for you.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
Keri could wait no longer.
“Can I see her? Please?”
Tears leaked from her eyes.
“Kelly’s in recovery. It will take a while for the anesthesia to wear off, and Kelly will be groggy upon waking because she has been given a good dose of Vicodin for the pain, but you can see Kelly now. This way, please.”
The doctor led them into a private room, where I was lying in a bed and surrounded with machines, and left to summon the psychiatrist. My mother walked over to me and took one hand in hers. Keri walked over to the other side of the bed. She sat very carefully on the edge of the bed, took my other hand in hers and gently leaned over until her head rested inches from mine.
“Hi, Kelly. It’s me, Keri. I’m here… and I love you. You're going to be okay.”
Keri stayed by Kelly's side, holding her hand and gently stroking her hair. Kelly's mother heard a soft knock at the door and looked up to see another doctor entering the room.
"Anne?"
"Hello, I'm Anne."
She rose to greet the doctor.
"I'm Dr. Eleanor Davis. I'm the psychiatrist on call."
Dr. Davis quietly closed the door behind her.
"Oh, thank you for coming!"
Kelly's mother shook her hand warmly.
“Oh, not at all. It’s my job. Now, Dr. Goldberg tells me that we have a child who is unsure of her gender, is that right?”
“Yes, doctor. Kelly has been exploring her gender for a while now.”
“Can you tell me how long?”
“She's been exploring for almost a year, but there have always been things I noticed.”
“All right. In what sorts of ways has Kelly explored?”
“She has been dressing as a girl around the house for almost a year and she began dressing out of the house as well two weeks ago. Once that started, she began dressing as a girl full-time.”
“Okay. Anything else?”
“Yes. She has begun to redecorate her room, too.”
“Please tell me a bit more about that.”
“She has taken down a poster of Einstein and… what’s the name of that performer?”
“Howard Jones.”
“Oh, thank you, Keri, that’s the one.”
“Did she replace them with anything?”
“Yes, she hung up a poster of Cyndi Lauper and a print of a vase of flowers. It’s pretty cute, if I do say so.”
“It sounds lovely. What other redecorating has Kelly done?”
“She began using some of her sister’s old bed sheets. They’re white with white embroidery and they’re unmistakably feminine. Oh, and a few months back, I let her repaint her bedroom walls to a powder blue color. She wanted to go with a pale salmon color, but I advised her to take it a step at a time and if she still wanted the salmon color we could always repaint again. There was one other thing… oh yes, the stuffed animals. She got out a Snoopy and a yellow horse that she’d had in storage from her younger days and placed them on the center of her bed, against her pillows. I think that’s everything. Anyway, her room looks almost like a girl’s room — and I think she’s just getting started.”
Dr. Davis smiled warmly.
“Well, Kelly certainly seems to have good taste.”
“She does, yes.”
“What can you tell me about Kelly’s social life? It seems that Kelly has a lovely girlfriend.” Keri waved the finger on one hand. “Is this Kelly’s first girlfriend?”
“Yes, it is.”
“You must be very happy to see that happen.”
“I am very happy for these two.”
Kelly’s mother smiled warmly at Keri.
“All right, how about Kelly’s friends? Can you tell me about them?”
Kelly’s mother paused for a moment to remember exactly who Kelly’s friends were.
“Well, she hasn’t really had what you would call a close friend until this last year. She has a few friends that she spends time with, but only one close friend. Sarah is her name, I think.”
“And Sarah is the friend that Kelly made within the past year?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Did Kelly seem like a normal boy growing up?”
“Well… define normal,” my mother joked weakly and the friendly psychiatrist chuckled with her.
“Isn’t that the question!”
“Anyway, she seemed different, wouldn’t you say, Tara?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Please, tell me more.”
“The first thing that comes to mind is that she has always preferred to have her hair long. It didn’t get this long until three years ago, but it never was shorter than her chin. She was teased for that, the poor baby.”
“I’m afraid that does often happen. Can you tell me what made her decide to grow her hair even longer?”
“Well, about three years ago, she pointed out a girl in a magazine and asked if she could grow her hair like that. This girl had almost straight hair that hung to between her collar bones and her breasts. I was surprised at Kelly's request at the time, but by then I knew something was developing within her so I decided what the hell. People seemed to think she was a girl anyway, so other than at school where the kids knew her — and picked on her — she had few problems with her appearance.”
“Have you encouraged Kelly to explore or merely permitted it?”
“I never rewarded her for it or anything, if that’s what you’re asking. I facilitated her exploration but I always let her decide where she wanted to go, with a few limitations, of course.”
“Such as?”
“Well, when she went back to school last fall, she wanted to wear a skirt and tank top to class -- and I even thought she looked adorable in it — but considering her experiences, I told her to leave it out on her bed and she could change into it the minute she got home from school.”
“I see. What does Kelly’s father think of all of this?”
“He passed on six years ago. It was a car accident. A bus ran a light.”
“Oh, dear. I am sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you, doctor. It’s all right. We’re surviving pretty well.”
“Has Kelly had other male role models?”
“Hmmm. No, the only role model I ever remember her pointing out was Rorie, that girl from that TV show.”
“All right. What kinds of sports does she like?”
“Oh, she doesn’t.” That got a half-hearted laugh out of Keri and Tara. “She’s more interested in dandelions and butterflies than sports equipment.”
The doctor smiled warmly.
“Fair enough! How would you describe Kelly’s disposition?”
“She’s very much the sensitive and emotional type, if that’s what you mean.”
“Yes, that’s what I was looking for. All right, Anne, I feel that there is more than enough here to suggest that Kelly is having gender confusion. It would be best for Kelly to begin regularly seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in gender matters once the injuries are dealt with.”
“Yes, I agree. I think it’s time she started.”
“Good. I can give you a referral for a specialist if you would like.”
“I would, please.”
“All right. Let me write down the contact information for you.”
Dr. Davis handed Kelly’s mother a slip with the name and phone number of a Dr. Kathleen McQuie. Kelly’s mother tucked it carefully into her purse. They shook hands warmly and the good doctor departed.
Keri had listened to the entire conversation in complete rapture. She and Kelly had shared details with each other, but a couple of dates are never enough for the full story. Keri had felt pretty strongly that Kelly must be a girl when she saw her room, and now Keri felt just about certain of it. Until that moment, Keri had no idea how much Kelly had been struggling. She realized how awful Kelly must have felt when she ran out of her house and felt equally awful thinking about it. She realized that Kelly would probably be asleep for a while and she decided that she wanted to do something special.
“Does anybody know when Kelly will wake up?”
“It will probably be a couple of hours, honey,” Kelly’s mother advised her.
“Okay.”
“Is there a gift shop here?”
“Hmmm, yes I think I saw one down near the main entrance.”
“Okay. Good.” Keri grabbed her purse. “I’m going to be right back. I just want to do something for Kelly. If she wakes up--”
“I’ll give her your message, Keri,” Tara hugged Keri as she finished her sentence.
Keri opened the door and headed for the gift shop. All the way to the gift shop, she was filled with thoughts of Kelly watching as Keri freaked out and ran away from her. She remembered how Kelly had pleaded for her to listen. She couldn’t imagine how Kelly must have felt. Just thinking about it made her want to cry. Keri hoped that she would be able to undo at least some of the damage she had inadvertently done.
She found the gift shop to one side of the main entrance and walked in. She found a selection of flowers, stuffed animals, cards, books, newspapers and more. She picked out a colorful bouquet in a vase and turned toward the cashier. She passed by the shelves of stuffed animals and stopped as one of them caught her attention. It was a small, purple teddy bear about the size of a shoebox. It held a small, red plastic phone handset to its ear with one arm and held the cradle with the other one. It wore a lavender t-shirt that had the words “I love my special girl!” printed in an arc over a red heart. It had a big goofy smile on it that reminded Keri of Kelly’s big, goofy smile — not to mention the one on her own face! She scooped up the teddy bear and brought it to the cashier with the flowers. She paid for them and headed back to Kelly.
Keri carefully opened the door to Kelly’s room and found it quiet in there. Conversation had died off and Kelly was still asleep.
“I’m back. Did she wake up?”
Keri hoped that Kelly hadn't awakened to find her gone. That would be all she needed after Keri had run out on her.
“No, sweetie, she's still asleep. Awww, that is the most adorable teddy bear I have ever seen. She’s going to love it.”
Kelly’s mother waited for Keri to carefully set down the flowers and teddy bear and gave her a great big warm hug.
Keri dragged an empty chair right up next to Kelly’s bed, sat down, held her hand and rested her head near Kelly’s. She had no idea when she’d fallen asleep, but she woke to the sensation of her hand being squeezed.
TO BE CONTINUED! NEXT IS PART 6: HEALING WOUNDS
WRONG NUMBER
PART 6: Healing Wounds
Keri gently squeezed Kelly’s hand to let Kelly know she was there.
“Kelly? Are you waking up?”
Keri's eyes began to water and Kelly’s mother sat up and took notice.
“Kelly, baby? I’m right here, honey.”
Kelly’s eyes opened a few millimeters and her eyes slowly moved from one side to the other. Kelly smiled weakly at her mother and looked over to see who was holding her hand. When she saw Keri, she smiled and tried to speak.
“Keri,” she managed to rasp. “You’re here.”
A tear leaked out of Kelly’s eye and Keri wiped it away for her.
"Hi, sweetie! Of course I’m here. I love you.”
Kelly closed her eyes for a moment as her smile broadened. She sleepily opened her eyes a bit wider this time and gazed at Keri.
Keri motioned for the teddy bear and Sharon handed it to her.
“Kelly, I bought this for you.”
Keri held it up so that Kelly could read the t-shirt. When Kelly was done reading it, tears leaked from both of her eyes. Keri placed the teddy bear very gently in Kelly’s other hand, rather than against her broken ribs. Sharon handed Keri a tissue and she dried Kelly’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry I ran out on you.” Keri began to cry. “I’ll tell you all about it later, but you’re not going to lose me, okay?”
“Okay.”
Kelly’s eyes continued to water and Keri lovingly tended to them.
“Keri…”
“Yes, Kelly. I’m right here.”
Keri gently squeezed Kelly’s hand.
“Keri… I love you.”
Keri smiled passionately at Kelly, tears still leaking from her eyes, and very carefully wrapped one arm around Kelly’s head, which Keri softly kissed several times. Kelly’s mother advised her not to try to talk too much because of her broken ribs. Kelly nodded sleepily and dozed off.
There was so much that Kelly wanted to say to Keri, but it would take a while before Kelly regained the strength to speak with any duration. She could speak almost normally, but anything more than short sentences tired her out. She needed to communicate her thoughts to Keri and was too impatient to wait until she could speak them.
While Keri was visiting the next day, she watched Kelly hold her teddy bear with both hands. Kelly smiled at Keri and asked her for something to write on. Keri found nothing in the room and she went back to the gift shop to buy him a pad of paper with a pen. She brought them back to Kelly with a smile on her face.
“Thanks, Keri.”
“You’re very welcome, sweetie.”
“Keri, I have a lot to say and I’m going to write it all down.”
Kelly paused for a rest. Keri smiled at her and gently stroked her cheek with one hand.
“That sounds good. Visiting hours are almost over, so I’m sure they’ll drag me out of here anyway — but I’ll be back tomorrow morning. You don’t have to worry about that!”
Kelly smiled dreamily at her.
“I won’t.”
“Good. Is there anything else I can get you before I go?”
Kelly shook his head.
“No thanks.”
“Okay.”
Keri continued to caress Kelly’s cheek. For a moment, they were lost in each other’s eyes, but then the nurse walked in to announce that visiting hours were over.
“Interrupted again,” Kelly managed to joke. “We really need some privacy!”
Keri giggled at him.
“Yeah, you’ve got that right!”
“You two are too much! Now, let Kelly get some rest. I'll give you a few more minutes but that's it!”
They thanked the nurse for the extra time as she checked everything over and left. Kelly motioned for the pad of paper and Keri handed it to him.
“I can’t wait to read it!” She smiled at Kelly with love in her eyes. “Good night, sweetie!” She kissed Kelly’s forehead and Kelly kissed her hand.
“Good night, Keri. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Keri kissed Kelly’s hands, got up and headed for the door. She paused in the doorway to exchange one last smile with Kelly and then she was off.
Kelly began to write down what he had been dying to tell Keri.
Hi, Keri
I want to start by saying that the sight of you sitting right by my side when I woke up was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m so glad that I still have you in my life that there is no way to put it into words.
When you left my house so suddenly I thought sure that I would never see you again. I was absolutely devastated, I really was. Anyway, after you left, I went back up to my room to try to figure out what the hell went wrong. As I stood at my bedroom door, and looked at my room -- my feminine room -- I realized that you must have thought I was transgendered. You had said that you wanted to be with a boy who loves to dress as a girl. You never said anything about a boy who really is a girl. That was why I thought I would never see you again.
I guess there’s no possible way you could have known that I had only just redecorated and the only feminine thing in my room before that was the set of sheets on the bed. I thought I was making my room more feminine for you because you’ve never seen me dressed as a boy and you seem to prefer me as a girl. When I had pulled myself together enough to think straight after you left, I started to think about what you had said. You said that I’m a girl. I started to think that maybe you were right. If I was a girl, then maybe you had left because you realized that you were in love with a girl. Maybe you were a lesbian and didn’t know it until then. I decided that I had to know if I really am a girl or not. That was why I decided to take a walk to clear my head.
While I was walking, I thought about everything I’ve been through in my life and I thought about how I redecorated my room. I mean, I didn’t even know that you would be up there that day. I had redecorated as a precaution, just in case. As soon as I realized that, I knew I had really done it because I wanted to — and I wanted to because I really am a girl on the inside. That’s the last thing I remember thinking about before I was hit. Just so you know, I wasn’t thinking about you when I got hit. I was thinking about me!
Anyway, I’m glad that we’re getting through this together. You know what you were saying about how easy it is to feel that our lives are out of our control and that’s part of why people never think good things can happen to them? I think this little accident of mine is a good example of that. People are probably paranoid that something will go wrong even if something great does happen, so they start to think that there must be no such thing as a great thing. Maybe they're even so worried about things going wrong that they don't recognize a really great thing when one does happen. Maybe they even screw it up because of that. I don’t know, it’s like they think there's no such thing as magic. Just for the record, I still think that the magic is alive and well for us. Magic doesn’t mean that nothing bad ever happens. Love is stronger than the bad parts and that is the magic!
Well, you’ve just left because visiting hours are over, but I can’t wait to see you again in the morning.
With all of my love,
Kelly
P.S. We have got to have some alone time, just the two of us! We’re always getting interrupted!
Kelly was sleepy and she put down the pen and paper. She picked up her teddy bear and smiled at it.
"You need a name. How about... Violet? I like that. Well, good night, Violet."
Kelly kissed Violet good night and fell asleep.
Keri returned bright and early the next morning. She was ten minutes early for visiting hours but she went right up to Kelly’s room anyway. Keri was glad to see her, of course. Kelly was holding her teddy bear again.
“Hi there.”
“Hi Kelly! I hope you’re feeling better today.”
Keri sat beside her in her usual place, held her hands and kissed them.
“I am. My ribs feel less painful.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear that.”
Kelly held up Violet as if showing her to Keri for the first time.
"By the way, I named her Violet. Isn't that cute?"
Keri smiled at Kelly's choice of name.
"I think it's just adorable."
Kelly got a wry smile on her face as she held the bear close to her ear.
"What's that, Violet? Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me." Kelly rested. "Violet says you should read what I wrote. Have a look."
They giggled at Kelly's antics. Kelly looked at the pad of paper that the nurse had placed on the nearby table after Kelly fell asleep.
“Okay, I will! Thanks, Violet!”
"You're welcome," Kelly spoke for Violet.
Keri picked up the pad and began to read Kelly’s letter. Kelly watched her smile, giggle, and cry as she read. She watched Keri’s head tilt to one side and watched Keri put a hand over her mouth at one point. Kelly felt so special that she got to be a part of the life of that special girl reading his letter. She smiled warmly at Keri as she waited patiently for her to finish. A few minutes later, Keri put the pad back on the table. She leaned over and embraced Kelly’s head again and kissed her forehead.
“You were right about me, Kelly. The reason I ran out of your house was that I did find out that I’m a lesbian. You’re right that I didn’t know it until then. I guess there were a few signs, like the fact that all four of the people I’ve had a major crush on in my life were girls -- including you, of course! With you, it's much more than a crush, though!"
Kelly smiled up at her.
"Anyway, I think it’s also fair to say that the way I thought I was attracted to boys who love to dress as girls was another big red flag — or should I say a big rainbow flag?”
Keri and Kelly giggled at Keri’s little joke, but Kelly had to stifle her laughter.
“Oo, careful about making me laugh. Ow!”
“Oh, geez! I’m sorry about that!”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not.”
Keri smiled down at Kelly.
“Kelly I am so sorry that I left you feeling so devastated when I ran out of your house. I really wish I could take that back, but I know I can’t. I’m really, really sorry!”
Keri kissed Kelly’s forehead a few more times.
“It’s okay. You’re a human being.” Kelly paused to rest her ribs. “You’re allowed to make mistakes.” Kelly paused again. “Sometimes mistakes hurt, but…” Another pause. “…that’s part of life.”
Kelly had to stop talking.
“Thanks, Kelly. It’s nice to hear that. Maybe that is another part of our ongoing discussion about good fortune, too, you know? We grow up being graded on our academic performance, having our behavior groomed by our parents and being ragged on by our friends. I mean, every part of society seems to point out our mistakes in some way and it sends us all these messages that mistakes aren’t okay. I think we start to believe that we’re somehow not acceptable if we make mistakes — or if we make too many. Maybe that’s part of what makes people doubt that really good things can happen.”
“I think you’re right.”
Kelly smiled up at her. For a moment, they just enjoyed Keri’s warm embrace. It was interrupted by the arrival of Kelly’s mother and sister. Kelly playfully rolled her eyes as Keri giggled at her.
“Hi, baby!”
“Hi sis! Mom and I brought you a few things to make you feel more comfortable.”
Kelly rolled her head briefly to see what Tara had brought. It appeared almost as though they had brought Kelly’s entire cosmetic collection! She recognized all of her makeup and most of her hair accessories. They had even brought some earring studs.
“Thanks, you two!”
“You’re welcome, honey,” Kelly’s mother answered for them both.
Tara noted the way Keri was embracing Kelly and got the feeling that she and her mother had interrupted something.
“Well, Kelly, I guess I’ll let Keri do your face for you.”
Tara smiled down at her sister. Kelly looked up at Keri.
“What do you say?”
“I would be happy to put your make up on!”
Tara handed Keri the bag full of cosmetics that she and her mother had brought.
“Kelly, baby, how are you feeling this morning? Are you feeling any better?”
“A little bit. The ribs feel a bit better.”
“I’m very glad to hear that.”
Kelly’s mother looked at her warmly as Keri began to apply mascara to Kelly’s lashes.
“Make me pretty!”
“I'll make you super pretty, Kelly!”
Kelly smiled up at the girl of her dreams.
“Please call me Rorie.”
Keri paused with the mascara wand in mid-air as her eyebrows raised themselves and a smile appeared on her face.
“After that girl in that TV show Gilmore Girls?”
“Yes.”
“I love that show, by the way!”
“I do, too. I just hope they don’t make her turn out a junkie.”
They giggled again and Kelly winced.
“Er. R-rorie, baby, please be careful about laughing. I know your ribs still hurt.”
Rorie rolled her eyes again.
“Do you really want to be called Rorie? I’ll be happy to do that.”
“So will I, sis!”
“Yes, please! Call me Rorie.”
“All right then, that’s settled.”
Something occurred to Tara and she asked Rorie about it.
“Hey Rorie, um…” she hesitated a moment, uncertain exactly of what Keri was aware. Then again, Keri hadn’t batted an eye when Rorie made her request. “…well, does this mean that… you feel that you’re… a girl?”
Kelly smiled at his family.
“Yes. I am a girl. It became clear right before I got hit.”
“Well, Rorie, I am so glad that you’ve found clarity, though it might have been nicer without the hospital visit.”
Rorie’s mother smiled at her, reached out and held one of Rorie’s hands in her own.
“So am I, Mom.”
“I’m glad, too, sis! I’m excited to have a new little sister!”
Tara gave her new sister a gentle peck on her hair as she dozed off again. Keri had finished the makeup job with a bit of lip gloss, and had picked out a pair of studs, but she left the studs out while Rorie slept. Rorie would have to wait to see the full look until she woke again.
TO BE CONTINUED
NEXT IS PART 7: THE THIRD DATE
PART 7: THE THIRD DATE
Rorie was released from the hospital seven days after she was admitted. She thanked Dr. Goldberg for everything he had done and her mother, Tara and Keri escorted her home. She stayed in bed at home for another two weeks while her body finished repairing itself. Keri visited Rorie more at her home than she was allowed to at the hospital and helped out with everything from bringing her meals to changing the sheets on the bed once or twice and helping her with her makeup. When Keri began doing Rorie's makeup at the hospital, she decided that she should teach Rorie how to use makeup, and it became a regular part of time together. During Rorie's home convalescence, she and Keri began to discuss making their third date happen.
During the next two weeks, Rorie could get up out of bed, but she would tire very quickly, and their third date would have to wait a while longer.
Six weeks after the accident, Rorie and Keri finally got a chance to have their third date — alone. They arranged to have their third date at Rorie’s home at a time when Rorie’s mother would not be there. She was attending the retirement party of a coworker one Friday night and Rorie chose exactly that Friday for her date with Keri. She coaxed Tara to make plans elsewhere with her friends and Tara, with a wry smile on her face, agreed to be out of the house.
Keri’s sister dropped her off at six o’clock. Keri wore a floral dress with a fine pattern of white and mixed shades of blue. She touched up her look with a pair of white nylons, a white cardigan and white leather flats. Her makeup was flawless. Her hair looked like she’d just come from a salon. She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Rorie opened the door immediately.
“Hi, Keri!” She greeted Keri with a hug and a kiss. “You look beautiful tonight! Well, you always look beautiful, but you look extra special tonight and I love it! Wow, I love that dress on you! It really brings out your eyes.”
“Thank you, Rorie. You look wonderful, too!”
“Thanks. Come on in!”
Rorie closed the door behind her. Rorie wore a pale lavender tank dress, also with white nylons and matching flats.
“That’s a really pretty dress you’ve got on, too. It really looks great with your lighter complexion.”
“Thank you! Tara helped me pick it out.” Rorie hesitated for a moment. “Would you like anything to drink?”
“Sure. I would love some ginger ale, if you have any.”
“We do. I know you like it and I made sure we would have some.”
“Awww, aren’t you sweet?”
Keri stroked Rorie’s chin and kissed her.
“Anything for you!”
Rorie kissed her back.
“Come on, I’ll get you some.”
They sat at the kitchen table, sipping ginger ale and chatting. As they finished their ginger ale, Rorie began to get a bit nervous. Keri reached out and gently put her hand on Rorie’s.
“Are you okay, Rorie?”
Rorie looked at their hands sheepishly.
“Y-yes, I am. It’s just… well, are you ready to see my room again or would you rather hang out in the family room?”
“Let’s go up to your room. I won’t run away this time. I promise.”
Rorie smiled at her and offered her hand to lead the way. Keri took it gratefully and they returned to the scene of the most tumultuous experience that they had had together. Keri walked into the room… and smiled.
“This really is a nice room, Rorie, I have to say.”
Rorie was immensely relieved.
“Thanks, Keri. You’re welcome in it anytime.”
“Thanks! I’m certainly comfortable in here.”
They smiled at each other, sat on the bed and put arms around each other.
“Is that a new desk?”
“Yeah, it is. I guess the redecoration got kicked up a gear.”
"I like it!"
"Thanks!"
Rorie’s mother had bought her a new desk. Rorie had spent some time cleaning out the contents of the old one and putting them away in the new one. In the course of her cleaning, she had gone through her things and thrown out old and unwanted items. She had also come across a stack of old photos and had left them on her desk so that she could go through them later.
“Do you want to see some old photos?”
“Sure! I love looking at photos.”
“Me, too!” Rorie rose to get the photos. “These are really old. They’re from when I was… gosh… not even ten yet.”
“Wow, they are old!”
“Yeah!”
Rorie sat down on the bed next to Keri and handed her the stack.
“Some of those are of old birthday parties and stuff. My old room is in there, too. We moved eight years ago, when my father died. There were so many memories around the old house and the old neighborhood, too. It was too hard on Mom.”
“Oh, that’s right you told me about that.” Keri gently rubbed Rorie’s shoulder. “Do you miss him?”
“Yes, I do, sometimes, but it’s been eight years and I guess I’ve gotten used to it.”
“Well, I’m so sorry that happened.”
Keri put down the photos next to her and hugged Rorie.
“Thanks.” Rorie paused while savoring the feeling of Keri’s arms around her. “Sometimes I wonder what he would think of me now.”
“Oh, Rorie, I’m sure he would have loved you just the way you are.”
“Yeah, I hope so. I guess I’ll never know.”
“I bet he would have. How could anyone not love you?”
Rorie tilted her head to one side and tears slipped from her eyes.
“Awww, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
She hugged Keri tightly.
“I had a feeling that maybe you needed to hear it.”
“Yeah, I did. Thanks.”
Rorie kissed her full on the lips.
“You're welcome. So, I would love to see your old room.”
Keri picked up the photos and resumed her perusal.
“Okay! Keep looking, it’s only a few pictures away, I think.”
Keri looked through a few pictures of Rorie’s seventh birthday party and a few pictures of her with her mother and sister at the Grand Canyon.
“Oh, wow, you went to the Grand Canyon! That must have been amazing.”
Rorie remembered how Keri loved inspiring and beautiful things.
“It was. I wish you had been there to share that with me. You would have loved it.”
“Oh, I know would have!”
Keri looked over at her and smiled. Rorie returned her smile with equal fervor. The next few pictures were taken in Rorie’s old house.
“Here’s one of my old bedroom.”
“Oh neat!”
Rorie’s old bedroom was fairly unisex. The walls were white and there was a poster of the Scooby-Doo gang and another of the Gilmore Girls. The comforter on the bed was a mixture of colored stripes.
“You liked that show even then, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I did. I immediately liked Rory. I got that poster the year that show got started, actually and a friend gave it to me for my birthday.”
“Wow. You’ve been investigating your identity for a long time, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I have.”
They smiled at each other and Keri looked back at the photos. There were two more photos of Rorie’s bedroom, one of Rorie alone, sitting on her bed, and one with Tara.
“You two look so cute in this photo!”
“Oh, thanks!”
“You’re welcome. Well that was a lot of fun!”
“Yeah, it was!”
The stack of photos was exhausted and Keri went to put them back on the desk. There was one last photo sitting on the desk and leaning against Rorie’s computer monitor. Keri looked at the picture and froze with a look of shock on her face.
“Oh, my God!”
“What?”
Keri showed Rorie the photo, pointing to a brunette in the photo with her arm around Rorie.
“Who’s the girl in this photo?”
“She was kind of a friend of mine who once lived across the street from me. At least, we were starting to be friends until Mom and Tara and I moved here eight years ago. Actually, I kind of had a crush on her, but of course at age eight, what does anyone know about love?”
They chuckled for a moment.
“So, please tell me more!”
Keri was moved by Rorie’s admission. She seemed very excited to hear this story and Rorie was delighted to indulge her.
“Okay, I will! I never knew her name because we didn’t get a chance to really meet, but we lived right across the street from each other. I used to stare at her all the time. I asked my mother a couple of times if she knew this girl’s name and she didn’t.” Rorie began to chuckle. “This girl would make funny faces at me just to make us both laugh. It got started when she caught me looking at her one time. At first she just looked at me like she was wondering what the hell I was looking at. Then she pinched the sides of her face so the corners of her eyes and mouth were stretched toward each other -- like this."
Rorie demonstrated the face and they laughed out loud.
"Anyway, when she did that I laughed really hard — we both did. We thought it was great fun and she kept right on doing it after that. I thought that was so cute.”
They both began to laugh.
“I sure did like her.”
Rorie sighed nostalgically.
“So what happened to her?”
Keri seemed very eager to know.
“It was really sad. I remember that someone was having a Halloween block party and we found a flyer about it on our front door. Her mother’s address and phone number were on it because she was one of the coordinators. I knew which house this girl lived in so I knew it was her phone number. I memorized her phone number and when I got up the nerve, I called her up. Whoever answered the phone told me that she moved away to live with her father. I was so sad that she was gone! Then, a couple of months later, my father died and four months after that, we moved away. Anyway, I found this photo while I was transferring the contents of my old desk into the new one and on the night I called you for the first time I was looking at that picture and remembering her silly faces.”
“Wow, really?”
A tear leaked from Keri’s eye.
“Yes.”
They looked at each other and Keri hugged Rorie tightly. Rorie gladly reciprocated.
“Wow, Keri, that story really affected you!”
Rorie kissed her on the cheek. Then Keri pointed at the photo with a big smile on her face.
“Rorie, that’s my house — and that’s me!!”
Rorie looked at the picture, utterly astounded.
“That was you??”
“Yes. I still live in that house!”
Rorie leaned back for a moment, letting it sink in.
“That was really you?”
“Yes!”
“When did you dye your hair?”
“Three years ago.” Keri rolled her eyes. “It was the ‘in thing’ at school.”
Rorie smiled at her.
“I can’t believe that was really you!”
Rorie threw her arms around Keri, who returned the gesture.
“I’m so glad we found each other after all these years.”
“I am, too! So how come you ended up moving away?”
“I didn’t move away, Rorie. When my parents divorced ten years ago, my mother got the house and shared custody with my father. Eight years ago, my mother was laid off from her job and my father temporarily got full custody. My mother didn’t know what was going to happen and she probably didn’t want to get your hopes up that I would be back, so she told you that I moved away. Then, she got another job about nine months later, the shared custody was reinstated and I was back. When I got home I decided to walk across the street to your old house and ring the bell. I was really excited to see you again — and make faces at you -- but some stranger answered the door. You had moved away and I was so upset! I had a little crush on you, too.”
“You did?”
They smiled at each other.
“Yeah.”
“Awwwww, and we moved while you were gone, I guess.”
“Yeah, I guess so!”
They embraced each other and fell silent for a moment.
“Well, I’m glad we found each other again — in so many ways!”
“I am too, Keri."
They hugged snugly again.
"Do you remember on our second date when Chloe and Joe were saying that movie we saw was unrealistic?"
"Yeah, of course! They made it pretty clear that they don't believe in amazing things."
"Yeah, Chloe and Joe thought that movie was too full of coincidence, but maybe things aren't so coincidental --"
"-- and maybe that's what makes them amazing."
"Right! Anyway, you and I are living proof that amazing things can and do happen."
"You know what I think?”
Rorie pulled a few inches back, her head cocked to one side.
“What?”
“I think you were right. It wasn’t a wrong number!”
Rorie kissed Keri squarely on the lips and this time, they weren’t interrupted! They lingered in the kiss, letting love lead the way.
THE END