The rest of the day goes well until the last period when I’m to have gym class and remember I have the white panties on. I decided to take my books to my locker making me late for gym class. Hopefully, all of the guys are already changed and out of the locker room. I’m nervous but doing well until I catch one foot on my pant leg and tumble to the floor having hit the lockers. I’m up quickly and have the pants off. When I begin pulling down the panty when Derek begins walking by and sees me.

Derek is 6’ 5” and at least 250 pounds; unfortunately, he’s in the gym because he is recuperating from an injury. “Hey man, be careful, you shouldn’t wear them on a gym day. You shouldn’t look for trouble but if it comes looking for you let me know.” Derek pauses, “My little brother is like you, so I kinda understand.”

“I’m not like that. It’s just last night I tried on a Halloween costume and I forgot to take them off,” I tell him.

Derek says, “You had plenty of time to change, so you must like it some. But that’s all right, just don’t lie to me.” I finish changing and get out to the gym. Coach our instructor has me running because I’m late.

School is over and Trudy beeps her horn to get my attention. I’m glad she also got the attention of other guys as well. Someone calls out, “Where have you been hiding her Mel?” I just smile and wave back. We drive off with Trudy teasing me, “You should ask him along, we probably could find a cute outfit for her as well.”

“I don’t think so he’s a guy.”

Trudy interrupts, “So that is not stopping you. How was your day at school?” She laughs as I explain about Sandy noticing my nail polish. When I tell her about my panties and Derek, Trudy loses control and giggles so bad she pulls over. We finally make it to my house.

I run into the house and upstairs saying, “I need to take a shower and change.”

While I’m in the shower Mom calls in and says, “I laid out an outfit for you.” I simply say thanks and don’t think anything of it; until I’m back in my room and see it. It’s one of my sister’s that she doesn’t wear anymore. It’s nice enough, I’ve even worn it before. There is masking tape over my clothes drawers and at my closet. “Mom, I can’t do this! It is bad enough looking for girl clothes.”

“It will be harder to explain if Melvin has to try on a bra or a dress.” The next thing I know is Sara is in my room and she helps me to change. This time she has me put on pantyhose and pick out a pair of her shoes to wear.

I pick out a pair of navy blue flats but she comes up with blue two-inch mule heels. She gets her way. She escorts me to her room and calls up Trudy. They are doing my makeup and hair when Trudy stops and holds an ice cube to one ear. Sara had her ears pierced at Claire’s so it wasn’t until I’m poked with the needle and the first earring is in that I’m aware. Sara is in front of me checking the pierced ear to mark my left ear. “Why is Trudy still holding the ice to this ear?” Sarah smiles as Trudy pokes in a second hole and puts in another earring.

Sara smiles as I relax and cooperate with having my left ear pierced twice. Sara encourages me, “Close your eyes ‘Melanie’ and if you don’t see yourself before you go you can stay home.” I close my eyes and the thought of a picture I drew two years ago came to mind. It was my dream picture if I could be a girl.

I felt Sara and Trudy at work and heard Trudy say, “I hope he doesn’t take out what you just gave him. Do you know what he likes?”

“Nope, I like how he’s turning out and I hope he will too.” After just two minutes of keeping my eyes closed, I’m getting restless. Sara helps me stand and says “We are ready. Count to three slowly and then open your eyes.”

“One …two …three” and I open my eyes. “Thanks for being so patient, I hope you like the new Melanie,” Trudy says. I wonder what she means until I see the transformation and look at the clock. It is four-five minutes later and Mom has purses in her hand.

I’m stunned, but no one understands as I yell, “How did you know?” I ran to my room. I’m looking for my old drawing pad. It’s under my bed near the night table. ‘I draw to relax at night.’ I have no trouble finding the drawing as Sara, Mom and Trudy come into my room.

Sara asks, “Know what?” I just turned the sketch pad, “This is Melanie.” Sara is giggling, “O wow! I swear I didn’t know, but it is you.” Melanie was already there in my head.

It is a cool October day as we step out to go to the car. “This is weird and I’m still uncomfortable going with you three.” The air hits my legs and then up my skirt. I am no longer tired from my day at school.

Sara tells me as I open the car door, “Remember to smooth out your skirt from behind and underneath as you sit down. Keep your legs together as you turn to bring them into the car.” It is like my movements are choreographed with her talking.

Trudy speaks, “Pull the seat belt around and try to have the shoulder strap go between your breasts.” It sounds simple enough but for a rookie, it takes some effort and for a boy, it seems odd to be doing this at all.

Mom turns to look back at me, “Well, how is it you have a girl picture of yourself and neither Sara nor I knew it. And I didn’t?”

Without hesitation, Sara says, “I didn’t Mom; it’s just how she turned out when we brought the girl forward.”

“Let Mel …speak.” I could tell Mom is struggling about using pronouns.

“Mom that was from two years ago when I was getting teased a lot as the other guys grew taller. I just wanted to hide sometimes. Mel is so blind people don’t even notice me; so I drew a girl that I thought people would look at and notice.”

“So you’re comfortable as Melanie?”

“No, but it is weird Mom. I don’t know how, but Melanie is comfortable.” Sara pats the top of my hand to comfort me.

Trudy pulls into the parking lot of a nice restaurant near the River Glen Mall. “We need to eat so my first treat is dinner then we shop,” Mom says as she lights from the car. I usually would be ravenous by now but my appetite can only take in half of my order. Instead of pushing vegetables aside but now their tastes sweet and tart tastes are what I desire.

No one asks as they recognize they’re the tastes of a girl and different for me. Nor did they complain when I followed them into the lady’s room to do what is needed, wash and touch up my makeup as needed. When I walk out, it hits me that I am walking out of the women’s restroom and I blush in embarrassment. Mom gives me a hug, “I wondered why you were so cool. So how do you feel about being one of the girls?”

We are at River Glen Mall and start out with the more expensive department store and some women shops around it. We see a number of outfits and dresses that would be nice but apart from getting measured and several pairs of panties it is all window shopping. I thought it is all to be window shopping but I sense that is not the general expectation.

We walk past a department store that Sara says is good for everyday stuff and find ourselves at Macy’s. With measurements in hand, we are at the bras. I am embarrassed as Claudette a very attractive young saleswoman arrives to help us. Someone must have said something as she comments, “It will be my pleasure to help you, as you’re too cute to remain a tomboy.”

Trudy explains we’re going to be Jack and Jill for Halloween as well as to a couple of costume dances. Claudette giggles, “I hope she will be Jill most of the time. It should be cute with all the attention the boys will be giving her.” She looks at the two bras picked out for me to try and she pulls out a lacy bra, “I think you should try this one if you are willing to be a bit daring and showy. It is very comfortable and inexpensive. I would not be fair if I didn’t suggest you try it.” Sarah takes and holds it up to me, “Wow, this would be great with a blouse, a few buttons short.”

I expect Mom to save me from further humiliation; it doesn’t happen. Trudy comes carrying a cotton blouse with a skirt to go with it. “Don’t worry Melanie we’re just asking you to try things right now.” Going into a woman’s dressing room raises my anxiety level higher than it already is. Mom wants to come into help me but gives way to Sara. While I want neither.

Sara has one of the panties, explaining it will put me in the mood. I said, “The mood it will put me in could be a problem.” There is laughter outside the changing room, “Don’t listen so closely!” Not waiting for me to resist Sara unbuttons and undoes the zipper on my skirt. I’m looking at my blouse, then the bra. I see myself in the mirror. Seeing the girl in the mirror with her new bra showing in all its glory would be exciting if they weren’t mine. They’re still very exciting and beautiful. I can only dream it is really me.

I try on the satin and lace panty, I’m glad it might have enough substance to hold my excitement. Sara has me put my arms through the leg holes as she did the straps of the bra and to lean forward to place my breasts in the cups of the bra as the sales girl suggests. The breast forms had a jiggle to them and I swore they were real. Sara saw my face and comments as I guide my hands and arms around my back to get it properly hooked. “Some boy I know has too much experience in doing this,” she says.

“Not me, I usually do it from the front and bring it around,” I said too much again.

“Thanks for the confirmation Melanie,” Sara again succeeds in making me uncomfortable. She has me put on the skirt before asking, “Trudy, she needs Claudette’s help in adjusting the bra straps.”

The knock on the door is Claudette and she discretely comes in and Sara steps out. “Wow, I hope you aren’t offended but you are a young cutie.” She shows me how to adjust the straps; there is nothing complicated about it. She runs her finger under the straps to make sure they are just right, neither too loose nor too tight or to see if a strap is twisted. She touches the bottom of the cups, showing me the support and fullness of the cups. Then lightly has me lightly touch the tips of the bra, “Do you think that leaves enough room for growth?”

I never thought about breasts growing and while mine won’t I’m anxious to know more, “How much might I expect my breasts grow to say in six months to a year?”

“It is hard to get an idea of what can happen, but like you are at a small B cup but the next growth spurt you could easily be filling a B cup over-flowing. If it’s okay,” she has her hands on her blouse buttons opening the top, “Last spring I was barely a C, now look. I’m college age and they have finally blossomed,” she’s all smiles. “Go ahead and look, I won’t force you but if you want you could touch but nothing more please.”

It is Melanie, not Melvin, who is gasping, not with sexual thoughts but a girl’s wishful thinking. “Here now, let’s see how you are with the blouse on? Try it with these buttons open, knowing you can button up more for your comfort. I don’t think you would want to open up anymore, even without trying you could get a bad reputation. It is important how a girl presents herself and is better to leave some things to the imagination. Your presentation of yourself shows how beautiful you are while calling for respect from those around to you.”

She begins to open the door, “Take your purse and show yourself to your mother and the others. Girls, not boys are generally a better measure of how you look.” Claudette steps out and then holds the door open. I forgot to take a good look in the mirror, but Trudy has me by the hand. “O Girl this is a knockout, you are definitely sweet.” I find Mom to see her expression, and Sara is next to her motioning with her hand to twirl around. I oblige her but with just two-inch heels on I need to go onto my toes and not my heels.

I twirled fast enough that I felt my skirt lift a bit. A little three years old is taken with me. Her mom has something for her to try on. “Look, mommy, how pretty her legs are; does she know her panties are showing?” I can’t help but giggle. I look to my Mom, “It’s the taller boys I worry about.” She begins to giggle.

“So how do all of you feel about the bra and outfit? She can easily do up two buttons and easily be as pretty.” Mom’s hand goes under the blouse as she is feeling the bra strap.

“Mom, I’m not Sara.” She looks up, touches my hair and pushing it back a little. “No, you are Melanie, my younger daughter.” Touché, I like the sound of it, half wishing it were true. She touches the hem on the skirt, “Do not worry it is in very good taste.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Sara takes me by the hand to a full-length mirror. Standing in front of the mirror and making a good observation of how I look like a pretty girl. I’m wondering why as Melvin I am doing this or enjoying this even a little.

“Are you comfortable with that being one outfit?” Trudy asks. I am not surprised we are more than window shopping, “Yes, I like the outfit.”

Mom asks Claudette, to write it up but hold it, “She might choose to wear it home; I would like her father see it.” I continue with help picking out two outfits and one dress. The dress is a mini-dress and if I like it, Trudy wants me to wear it to her dance. I try the last bra and I liked it as well as the dress, but not necessarily them together. Mom agrees, “I think that bra is very nice but more for everyday use; like when you’re Jill at the store.” I think that is where the mini denim skirt might come in, but I hold out for one not so plain. Claudette puts one with a lot of pretty stitchery and design that takes it up a notch.

“I can see with this skirt Jack and Jill going up the hill; I just wish Trudy that you were Jill.”

Claudette begins to laugh, “She really does have an image problem doesn’t she?”

Now Trudy and Sara are giggling out loud. “You wouldn’t believe the extent of Melanie’s image problem.”

Mom pays for my clothes as well as buying a blouse Sara likes. We’re walking past some stores when Mom guides me into another shop, Second Skin Intimates. My mother asks a saleswoman, “Do you have some nice sleep shirts for young women?” I’m wearing the first outfit I tried on, so the woman smiles. “This is to be her first time with some special pieces of sleepwear?”

I said, “I’m just window shopping, I’d like to see my sister try what she likes.”

“There is enough to go around young lady; your Mom having you in tow right now, says you are the one I get to help.” We reach the section. I wish I could stop from looking but I can’t. It looks like satin but I’m not sure. It has buttons in the front but not all the way down. Three colors and styles are selected to try. I like the style of the light blue one with buttons down the front but I like the deep plum color. There is a loose set of shorts that goes with pink lace and satin top and wide straps that Sara talks me into trying. And I am now at a quandary of which to get.

Mom solves the problem saying I am getting both, “But Mom I don’t even need one, I’m Melvin at home.”

“Shush and I will explain later young lady.” She giggled as I feel close to my first paddling as a girl.

We’re on our way out and Sara, Trudy and I looked into a shoe store window. “Melanie see that wedge heel that is the kind of heel you could need for work.” I see the heel she’s pointing at and I looked further into the store and saw a beige and blue shoe with a sandal heel on a display inside the store. “Mom, could I just look at one pair of shoes?”

She asks what I see and I point, “That is a very nice looking shoe, I like your taste.” She and I stroll in and look. “It is a very smart looking shoe, the heel is 2 ½”. A girl could manage that for four hours, but I don’t think you would be able to do it?”

“I don’t like you saying what I can’t do, especially since I haven’t even tried it.”

“One, I would be surprised if it the price of $37.95 is correct. Those shoes don’t start under $80 unless they are on sale. Even then you would be lucky to get 10-15% off.”

I ask, “What if I’m willing to pay for it with my own money?”

“You are just stubborn enough to try it to prove a point. I say, go ahead if it is your money.” My foot is narrow and small for a boy. But I am worried because I haven’t taken care of them as Sara does.

The salesperson measures my feet but continues to stare after she says I have an 8 regular. “I can bring out the shoes and you could try them to see if they fit. But you need a good pedicure and have your mother help you learn how to care for your feet.”

Mom speaks up, “I have shown you and haven’t I told you to take better care of your feet?” She whispers to Sara and Sara walks out of the store and out of sight. Mom walks off with our salesperson and points to the price of the shoes. The woman points to another price sign as well as a price on the box.”

Harriet brings over the shoes and points to the price on the box. “I am sorry young lady but this pair costs $87.95 and that is on sale from its regular price of $109.95. It is a very good everyday shoe and the only one I could recommend to a young woman planning to work in them.”

“Why would anyone pay that price for an ordinary everyday shoe?”

“One, it caught your eye because it is not ordinary and I suggest you try it first. That is the only way you might realize its value.” Trudy has found a similar pair yet distinctive enough that she is trying it.

“Woe, Sara you need to try this,” Trudy’s said to my sister.

I have on my pair; I stand and see the side view in the mirror. My legs are now more shaped like a girl. “Mom, I love them but that is a lot of money.”

Mom smiles, “If you will split the cost of the clothes; I will go halves on the shoes.”

“It would be cheaper for me to just pay for the shoes.” Harriet tells Trudy, “If she buys her shoes. I would let each of you have your shoes for $80.00 a pair?”

Trudy smiles, “That settles it, she and I are both buying a pair.” Sara found a pair like mine beige with a red leather stripe. She is buying a size seven and Trudy has a 6½ size shoe. I have a debit card for emergencies, and since I never use it, I have mom’s permission to buy my shoes with it.

I am good and tired as we walk toward the Mall exit. Mom’s lagging behind and the others have stopped with her. Finally, I ask, “What now, I am tired and still have some homework. Plus I need to take care of my feet, which should be all but impossible.”

“Go in this store and tell them your name.” It is one of those small shops with a row of chairs and tables for women having their fingernails done. Teshi takes me to a side room, “Would you please take your pantyhose off. Then please come to my table, please. You can put your pantyhose in this bag for your discretion.”

I am going to say no, but Teshi is already walking away. Trudy is nearby, “I can show you how to do it simply.” I walk into the room and soon come out and go to Teshi. She has me place my feet in some warm goop. I am not sure if it is a wax, oil or what, I’m just surprised that in a strange way it feels good.

I get to pick the polish to be applied. I choose a medium dark red and Teshi says, “It is a very nice color, especially good for you.” She sees I resist having my hands done for some reason. “Please, I would like to do your fingernails to make them much nicer for you. If we use this light pink tint it will be very good at protecting your nails.” So now my fingers are in a similar solution and after a few minutes, she begins to work on my fingers first massaging my hands. “You have not been kind to your hands but they are very nice and will become beautiful.”

Sara is rubbing my shoulders and neck to get me relaxed and to stay awake. Teshi is soon done with one hand and working on the other. Another girl is helping with my right foot. The pealing of the waxy goo, I see some improvement as I watch her work on the cuticles of each toe. Areas on my feet that were dry or rough peeled away with no tearing or bleeding. The excess cuticle areas were cut away with very small scissors.

Teshi finished my other hand and started cutting my toenails, shaping them with emery boards. She files feels for bumps or roughness and uses finer boards as she nears finishing them. Each toe coats so nicely, and after she finishes one toe she puts a cotton ball between the toes. She makes sure the first coat is really dry before starting a second coat. I like my fingernails and while the pink tint is clear it is a gloss and with the shaping of the nails, I enjoy seeing them as Melanie’s. I’m now waiting for my toes to be good and dry before we leave.

Though, I was getting tired before they started to work on my fingers and toes I had no trouble staying awake and seeing how things were done. Teshi gives me a coupon that is good any time in November for 40% off whatever I have done and it could include one friend.

Once we’re in the car, Sara invites me to lay my head in her lap. I say, “No”, but my head is in her lap by the first traffic light. I fall asleep listening to the other girls. Once we’re home they say they talked to me I answered most of their questions.

Right now I don’t care, but even without much makeup I find getting ready for bed to be a chore. Since Sara is helping me I kind of enjoy taking off my makeup and moisturizing my skin. Sara pushes me into the shower telling me to shampoo my hair really well if I want any semblance of boy’s hair. Melanie’s nightshirt is out for me.

I am ready for bed; when Mom calls me downstairs and without thinking I run down to see what she wants. Mom and Dad are sitting in the den when I show up. Mom smiles and Dad looks at me, “I thought Halloween is next Thursday.” Dad shakes his head and then pulls me to him. “You know, we love you very much.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek, “Go say goodnight to your mother.”

To be continued…

By the time I reach my Mom, my eyes are filled with tears and it is hard to talk. Mom pulls me to her and I am soon in her lap. “Sorry you were caught off guard but you shouldn’t have any secrets held from us.”

My Mom, “I want you using Melanie’s night clothes until this costume stuff is over and done. Then we will talk more seriously.”

“Mom, after Halloween I am going back to being just Mel!” I said that loud enough for her and Dad to hear.

Holding onto me, “There were a number of times today you were Melanie, beyond what one might expect. I am wondering more ‘who just Mel’ might be. You looked like you really enjoyed yourself today. What are some of the things you enjoyed today?” I thought, look to her and Dad wondering what is safe to say. I don’t want them thinking I am serious about this, that would be crazy.

“Everything just went a little further that I thought and I was surprised I didn’t become more uncomfortable. I didn’t know Sara and Trudy made me up to look like a real girl and pretty at that. I liked the girl clothes because they’re more colorful and look so much better than boy stuff.”

I am about to fall asleep when Mom leads me back to bed and tucks me in and begins to pray: “God, we don’t hold back any secrets from you either. Guide and bless Mel in these coming days. She was so relaxed tonight. There is a comfort I don’t often see. Help us as parents to give the support and guidance that is appropriate. Help Melanie to relax and consider what this experience means. Amen.”

I drift off to sleep and it is a good sleep. Mom wakes me up early suggesting another shower and to brush out my hair real well.

I am back in my regular clothes but I still feel a little like Melanie. The day at school and work goes fine. I am thankful tomorrow is Saturday, but I won’t be able to sleep in as I am scheduled to work from 9-6 at the store. The coming week I am scheduled Monday through Thursday and Friday is penciled in with a question mark behind it. Later when Tom sees me he says, “I have tried to give you Friday off, but I do not have your time covered by any other worker yet. I gave you Saturday, and if nothing else changes I will need you to work Friday as usual.”

I heard our football team won last night and they are in the first round of the playoffs. I see Derek and I see he is upset. “Derek,” I call from behind the counter as we don’t have any customers, “Hey what are you down about?”

“Now were in the play-offs, the guys want me back on the field, but my knee and ankle aren’t ready for contact. The guys don’t want to hear that. They say I have a whole year to recover.”

I try to say I understand and support him but Derek says I’m just agreeing like the other girls. I’m offended but I know I’m not seen as even mildly macho. Derek talks and I just listen, he feels better when he’s walking away.

Trudy has the morning off but comes early to talk with me and Sandy from school is there at the same time. Sandy sees me talking to Trudy so she asks jokingly, “Is this the girl who has you forgetting your makeup?”

Trudy responds, “You know, boys they don’t quite see all we do to look good for them.”

Sandy tells her, “Yesterday, I could tell his nails had been done and something had been done with his hair.”

Trudy smiles and says, “Seemingly, you’re a friend and not out to cause him trouble? It’s just in preparation for Halloween. You can see him here early next week or we’ll both be at your costume dance on Friday.”

Sandy asked, “Do you need help or to borrow anything?”

I lose my patience, “No!”

Trudy says, “Down girl, she’s a friend.” They both giggle at that.

“It’s okay, maybe I’ll have a chance to help her learn to play nicely with other girls?” Sandy with a giggle and a pronounced wiggle walks away. Trudy walks away with Sandy, “We may do some experimenting or shopping tomorrow you know.”

That evening after my shower, I find a long skirt and long sweater outfit on my bed. I put on my nightshirt and robe to go find Mom. “Mom, why the outfit?”

“There’s a Metro Church and a Lutheran Church near the University over at Brunswick. I thought you might like to experience a larger sense of community and acceptance.”

“Mom, this is just for Halloween, I told you that.”

“Then it is not a question, you and I are going there for church so plan to be up by seven. End of that discussion!” Mom lightens up and pats the couch for me to sit next to her. She asks for a wrist as she reaches for her purse, she lightly sprays a perfume on it. “What do you think of it?”

I know not to argue and sniff, “It’s a subtle fragrance, a flower and vanilla, I think.”

“Very good, please don’t wash it off, now go get some sleep.” I did go to bed but two hours later I heard a clock chime once. I’m daydreaming thinking this and that.

Finally when I sleep its sweet dreams but none that I remember when I awake. It is 6:30 and I stay up after going to the loo. I quickly shower and use Sara’s shampoo and conditioner. I’m even patting myself dry.

I pick out the everyday bra since I’m wearing a sweater over it and another pair of panties firm enough to hold me in. I put on the long skirt and long bulky sweater. I’m not sure what to wear in the way of shoes but finally step into a laced platform shoe and do the straps.

It is 7:20 when I go down to the kitchen; I get a cup of tea, a Danish and scoot into the nook. Mom is sitting on the other side across from me. “I guess we are going to Brunswick?” She said we would last night. “You look pretty good, but what do you want to do with your hair? And what will you wear with your heels?”

“I thought a short ponytail but don’t know how to do it right.”

Mother says, “We could do a sweeping bang in front, some curls to the sides as well as the ponytail that’s what I suggest.” I agree. “Would you prefer pantyhose or knee high stockings?
The stockings would be nice to show off your toes and nicely present you as a girl.”

Mom prepares to stick back in my studs and hoop earrings and I make faces. “It wouldn’t have hurt if you had kept them in.”

She ties a clean dish towel like a bib on me and she hands me a toasted muffin. “It would be nice if Melanie has better eating habits then Mel.” My appetite is usually bigger but this works fine as Mom and I talk. Sara is down asking, “Who dressed you.” She giggled, knowing I did. Mom says, Melanie and I were going to the open church near the university. Sara invites herself which is good. Come 8:30 even Dad is in the car going with us.

Their young vicar Carolyn is presiding over the early contemporary service. I remark, “It isn’t easy to tell who is from the LGBT community and who isn’t.”

Sara who attends the university asks, “Do you see yourself as being in that community?” My answer is a hardy “No”. Sara said, “I expect some others here didn’t either.” My snarl is met by her giggling, “Grow up brother, there are worse things than being you.”

The service would be meaningful to anyone, but it goes an extra step to make everyone feel welcome. One Scripture reader is a T-girl with an inadequate feminine voice. I wonder how Melanie’s voice sounds.

Going out of church Mom tells Vicar Carolyn that I am their son trying to find myself. She asks me, “Would you take time to talk with me?”

Mom responds, “She and I can take some time.” Mom tells Dad we will be out to the car when we’re done.

Carolyn asks another person to be a reader for her during the next service. She takes us to a side chapel. “Let me begin by saying you present yourself very well.” I thank her but I’m feeling very shy and defensive. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but your mother says you are trying to find yourself. Do you see yourself leaning towards being gay, a heterosexual crossdresser or one transitioning to become female?”

I explain the past five days, and she smiles saying, “Seemingly things have gone smoother than expected and you were even comfortable enough to intentionally come to the service here dressed as Melanie. I am glad your family is supportive. I hope you have found some in the faith community support you in your journey.”

I say, “But God won’t,” as my eyes start tearing.

She hands me a tissue, “Try to pat your eyes it will be easier on your makeup… Please know God loves you and supports your journey. Unfortunately, some people who say they speak for God will tell you differently that we’re wrong. I use to be like that but since I was in junior high I’ve met too many special people and God has moved me to know that she has an open mind.”

“You think God is a woman?”

“I think God is beyond our comprehension and the ability of our language in expressing things as well as we’d like.” She is reaching behind her neck and is holding a cross; not the liturgical cross she wore at worship. “Would you do a favor for me, and let me put this on you? I am not putting my faith upon you but hope you will sense God being with you.”

I lean forward as she puts it around my neck. “If you feel comfortable, I hope to see you Melanie next Sunday with no illusion of costume.” We soon said good-bye and we were back out to the car.

We’re traveling home when Sara’s smart phone rings. It is Trudy calling to see if I can come over. I’m to be dropped off there and Sara will come after she finishes her studies.

Mom explained to Trudy’s family that I was dressed this way for practice with possibly going out. Trudy’s dad buys it and her mom’s smirk indicates she expects more is possible.

“Someone has given me some leggings that would go with an oversized pink sweater like the one you have on.” She doesn’t ask, but sends me to strip down to try them on. Woe, the leggings snug the body like pantyhose and I know some girls don’t wear much if anything over them. The pink sweater fits and snuggles around the top of my legs. Trudy’s Mom, Elaine, came into the room with a cup of tea which I take to drink.

It was nice to drink and hold something warm as I was nervous. Elaine tells Trudy, “Your Cousin Jaci just called and wants you to go to an early movie with her; and remember you have already had two times you couldn’t make it.” Trudy agreed, and we are to meet Jaci at the theatre near the mall. Her mom agrees to drop us off; Trudy announces, “Jaci can give us a ride home.”

Three guys are with Jaci as we walk up to her. I am ready to hyperventilate, but Trudy reminds me that I don’t want that to draw attention to myself. Trudy is upset with Jaci, “I have a boyfriend you know?” She doesn’t protest too much. When it’s Travis who is paying her ticket and drink, notices his good looks her protest evaporates. Alan is paying for me and if I were a girl, I guess I wouldn’t be too upset either. Alan takes my hand as we wait to buy the tickets and then the popcorn and cola.

I know Alan; I’ve played in baseball competition against him. He’s a grade or two older and a nice guy. Our talking is easy enough. I look at Alan and smile at the humor of being with another boy. Alan takes it that I really like him and snuggles me to him. “Melanie, you are really cute and it’s easy talking to you.” I know he’s looking to kiss me.

I say, “Hey, we should at least wait till the movie’s been playing.”

Trudy leans over on the other side, “You know he now expects during the movie you will kiss.” That isn’t what I meant, but I look and I easily know she is right. She jokingly said, “You should keep your mouth closed.” Eu, I hope she didn’t mean if we kissed.

Previews were shown and we make it thirty minutes into the movie. I am laughing and look to Alan. He moves to kiss me and I automatically tilt me head to the side. The kiss is nice and quick. I start to say thanks and he’s kissing me with my mouth still open. I feel his tongue touch mine and I am holding the embracing of our lips. I am a little excited but I’m glad that atleast I’m not aroused. The movie seems good but I don’t get to watch much. We stand up at the end of the movie, Alan gives me a hug as his hands slip down onto my buns.

I turn to leave, Trudy is shaking her head at me, and pulls me into the little girls’ room. “Don’t go pee it’s not that nice, but we need to fix our makeup.” I’m glad Trudy put mine in the purse she gave me. I take out the small makeup bag hoping she’d do it. I’m big enough that in public I need to do it. I do a nice job if I say so.

Alan wants my phone number but I’ve turned cold and he gets the message I’m not giving it to him. I do agree to let him know if I want to go out again. Jaci gives us a ride home. She wants to stay but Trudy doesn’t want her to learn about me. “You will see us at the Halloween dance.”

When we get back to Trudy’s Sara is there and stares at me wearing leggings and gives a light whistle. “You’re hot little Sis and what’s this about going out to the movies. Next thing you will be dating?”

Trudy grabs Sara’s hand and runs us up to her room. She quickly closes the door and leans against it. “Sara, you won’t believe what we did and your broth… Melanie flirted and then kissed Alan Stone.”

“Mel, you can’t go that fast. Mom is going to have your ass if she finds out?”

“I didn’t want too, it just happened and I wasn’t flirting nor did I like it.” Sara looked to Trudy for confirmation about what I’m saying and I don’t think she got it.

Trudy trudged out a small but nice makeup case, “My Mom bought this for you and it has some extra items of makeup already in it.” I open up the case and there are three foundations all which can work for me, a high end concealer, half a dozen blushes, many various eye shadows, pencils and mascaras. It also has makeup brushes, foam triangles, tweezers etc.

“I thought you said a few?”

“Dah in comparison to your sister, the average girl and me this is small. It gives you a good start, but if you don’t continue it won’t be a big loss.” We’re talking and time goes fast, and finally Sara takes me home as they waited for a late meal.

I’m home and still wearing the leggings and pink sweater I put on at Trudy’s. Later, I’m getting my makeup off as well as my clothes and breast forms to put them away, take a shower, and moisturize my skin after cleansing my face. It too just over an hour. I wear a camisole and shorts tonight.

Then I go down to say goodnight to my parents, I find dad has already gone to bed. Mom and I talk about the day being full as it was. I remember meeting Vicar Carolyn and thank Mom for taking me to the service. Mom knew about my going to the movies; “I suspect you know there were boys there.”

I end up telling her about Alan and our kissing. I mention I didn’t get excited. Mom says, “Did you know Elaine gave you something to keep your peter from getting aroused?”

That’s a relief, I thought it stopped working. I was worried and afraid to say anything.

“I think between your warm nature, and Alan being all boy; he probably thought he died and went to heaven with his hands on your body.”

“Mom, please the idea makes me sick.”

“I’m the one who should be upset. You being so naïve makes me nervous, but it does helps me to understand you a little more. So are you going to work as Jill tomorrow?”

“Probably not. Jack, I mean Trudy doesn’t work tomorrow. But I need to be there; I just hope the Store Manager let’s me off Friday night.”

“Now get to bed and have sweet dreams.” My dream is sweet as Melanie is trying to help Mel put on some leggings in the dream. He feels he’s losing to Melanie. He likes how he looks and feels as Melanie, but he still sees it as wrong.

I awake at five thirty sweating and with my sheets looking like they had been in a fight. I go take a shower; while I’ve taken out the hoop earrings I plan to wear my studs maybe even some very small hoop to school. I don’t want the pain of them being restarted.

The water feels great going down my legs and I enjoy shampooing by hair. After drying from the shower I use a little of the concealer and foundation believing others won’t notice. After getting dressed as Mel, I get breakfast and Mom doesn’t notice. She does ask, “Which outfit are you wearing to work today?”

“I’m not, Trudy doesn’t work today. I hope we don’t even need to start tomorrow.” Mom writes something but she doesn’t bug me so I’m not worried.

School goes well and it isn’t until next to last period, Sandy mentions, “You did a very good job with your foundation; did your sister do it?” I turn red, “If it was your choice, neat?”

=^..^=

I can’t get home fast enough to find out I’m too fast. “Mel is that you?” Mom calls out to me. “You are to wear the outfit on your bed for work. Trudy will be over at 4:35 to go with you for the start of work.”

“Mom, we’re not both scheduled to work, plus that hardly gives me time to get ready.”

“Well you better get to it then. It is probably better than having a lot of time to stew about it.” I take a quick body shower. I put on my everyday bra and just put the breast forms in as they won’t be showing. There’s a pair of yellow panties and two petticoats, O no. They’re on but I don’t like hemt. I put on a pastel yellow blouse and the pink skirt on over the petticoats. I’m having trouble getting the skirt to lay right on the petticoats.

Sara walks in and begins helping to make sure it is turned correctly and lying properly on the petticoats. “Good girl Sis, we must have done a good job at training you.” Grrr!

“Do you want me to crimp you hair, less customers will notice you’re really a boy?” I agree and she has me doing my makeup while she works on my hair. I am not aware of the passing of time, but I am frustrated as my eye makeup takes three tries to get it right. Sis helps me to blend the makeup in around my hair, ears and neck. “Thanks Sara, I couldn’t do it without you.” She smiles and reminds me to sit down and put my knee hi white socks on. I am also to wear the 2½” sandal heels.

I have mixed feelings that my toes aren’t showing, but I have enough for today. Sara reminds me. Trudy is over and is tickled by how much I did. We will be early for work but she insists we go. Mom feels a need to take our picture. Trudy even as a boy is very pretty. We park away from the store to allow customers to park closer.

Trudy notices me getting out of the car and demands I get back in and get out properly.

I am so nervous I just want to get in and get things over with. When I properly get out I’m told I still need to wait for us to go together. Trudy opens the trunk and gets out a pail and pours two gallons of water in it. Now I have to hold one side of the handle and step slowly into the store. Some customers clap as we near the store and then go in. I am so embarrassed.

Trudy pauses at the store, “Ladies first” she sweeps one hand and bows to me. When she gets in she whispers I’m to curtsy. I do it but not without dying a few times inside. She asks the assistant manager if it is okay to walk around the store a few times. So off we go, one time is bad enough, but no we go again and again. Little boys point and girls want to talk to me. Two moms have me hold their baby for a picture. Trudy says I am a natural girl because both babies are comfortable with me.

I’m still holding the baby of one mother as she takes her time selecting fruit and vegetables. She asks me, “Do you babysit?” I felt flattered until she sizes me up and smiles, “Even if you are a boy, you’re a pretty boy.” I am so embarrassed.

By now it is time to punch in and get to work. Doris has already taken a picture of Jack and Jill and made it into a little poster taped to the bakery counter. Things are okay until two neighbors realize it is me behind the counter. I am asked to come in front of the counter by Betty and she drops her purse. I bend to pick it up and observe a flash behind me. Mrs. Walton my other neighbor has taken the picture. “We are just doing you a favor; girls don’t bend down like that.” I didn’t give her the satisfaction of telling her how one of my boobs moved and is now very uncomfortable.

The night goes smoothly with the exception of a few male workers and my needing to use the women’s restroom once. More than several women and high school girls remark that my dressing well as a girl, gives them ideas for their boyfriends. I like the idea of misery having company.

Sara is there to pick me up at the end of work. “Mom and I don’t think it is a good idea to have you walking home alone.”

Mom is the first to point out that I’ve stayed cleaner. I am not messy as usual. Hmm, she is right. I sit down and talked to Mom and Sara once I get home, before changing and getting to my homework. Mom giggles about my bending over as she showed me the picture that Ms Walton sent to her via text message. I’m relieved as the picture is not as bad as I feared.

My smart phone rang and I find out mom has forward the picture to Trudy. It is a while before I change out of my blouse, skirt and petticoats and put on a robe and study in my panties and bra. I’m seriously thinking of going to school in femme tomorrow. I have gym but will ask mom for an excuse.

Story to be continued…

“Sense and Sensibility” is reading better tonight: I have more empathy for the woman but I know it can’t be from just wearing a skirt. I didn’t hear Sara come in or know she is here in my room till she starts brushing my hair. “Do you realize your speech is noticeably better?” she asks.

We visit, she feels I am more relaxed despite my saying I am uncomfortable. I tell her I am thinking of going to school in femme. “I don’t want to worry about my hair and all the transformations after school.”

She says, “If you do, you should wear something different from your Halloween costume until Thursday.” It makes sense and she leaves to figure out what I could wear. When she comes back she has two outfits but first suggests I have the breast forms glued so I can sleep in them. She tells me, “It will be a different experience.” I am sure she is teasing since they are soft, how could it be any different. I went to bed at 11:15 and come midnight, I tried to have Sara help me to take them off. She wouldn’t, “I told you it would be an experience now let me sleep.” So I had to learn to sleep differently.

Sara wakes me at 5:30 saying, “Rise and shine girly! It is going to take longer to get ready for school today.” Mom pokes her head in later, surprised and upset that I didn’t ask her permission. Sara and I are walking into school before she chuckles, “You forgot to get a permission slip for gym didn’t you?” She knew and didn’t tell me. I text home, Mom, I need a note to get out of gym class.” But Mom texts back, “You need to get permission from your counselor or the school nurse.”

I am glad I have a reasonable outfit on. I decide on asking Ms. Braun my counselor. She sends a note to my first class that I will be late. “Mel, tell me why you are dressed as you are?” She calls my mother and it is agreed by them I will make a five paper report on my experience; to make up for my missing gym.

I ask, “What if I’d want to agree something else?” Ms. Braun responds, “I am not asking I am telling you, you have already come dressed as a girl and without permission. What I am asking is appropriate for your actions. You will be having the experience anyway.” Mrs. Braun is real good, most students, me included, do not argue with her. I need to sign an agreement as Melanie and Melvin.

I am given an excuse for being late to Ms. Roberts’ class. Ms. Roberts smiles and asks, “Melanie please introduce yourself and explain what you are doing. Class this is Melanie’s first day with us.” The class claps and says hi like I am a new student. This is more embarrassing than I thought possible.

She asks me to explain how my life is different as a female student. She gives me permission to wait until Friday to address the class with my response. She already knows about the report. I am relieved but not home free. She asks for two girls to be my chaperones. Three classmates including Sandy volunteer to help me. I am surprised by their help and how nice they are to me. Don’t worry, not all my classmates are so friendly like that including some other girls.

I eat lunch with a group of girls and they force me into the girl’s room to check my makeup. They giggle as I use the toilet and they praise me as they know I am sitting down.

Erica has done something to set her eyes off which I like and I ask about it. She has time so she does it to me which was not my intention. It is not glitter but her eyes are luminescent. Sara sees me and wonders.

I plan to ride home with Sara until I get called out of class. Mom says, she had come to take me to have my hair done. I tell her, “I don’t want to go to the barbers looking like this.”

“That is good because your appointment is at Carol’s salon.” I don’t think I want that either. Carol was a neighbor years ago and she is happy to see me come through the doors. “It has been a long time since you wished you were a little girl and could sit up here and get your hair done.”

I had forgotten about when my mom would bring me along. She was right; I did wish she would do my hair. Several times she would have me sit on my mother’s lap or in the chair and she would brush my hair out.

I whispered to myself, “Twice you used lipstick.”

Thought it wasn’t loud enough to be heard, but Carol says, “It was more like a half dozen times, but you were a pretty boy. Now look, how you have blossomed.” I begin to tear, Carol hands me a tissue, “Hey that’s all right, you’re not the first pretty boy to sit there.”

“Let’s give you a perm of loose curls that will work well for Jill and Melanie both.” Carol checks my purse and finds the fingernail polish to redo my nails while my hair is drying. Mom has left me, so Carol felt free to take her conversation wherever she wants. That included: if I have dated other boys; would I like to be a girl for a weekend; and why I thought Trudy chose me. I had not thought of any of those ideas, but the question of why Trudy chose me especially intrigues me.

It is 3:30 when Carol is brushing my hair do out; it is a childhood dream, come true. But should I be wanting it? The truth is I do, but I have trouble accepting this for me. I don’t realize how much I am smiling until. Carol says, “Mel until I hear otherwise, how happy you are about this? Don’t feel pressed, it is for you alone to share.” I want to give Carol a hug and kiss. Without me asking she shows me how to give a kiss while wearing makeup. She smiles, when I ask, “How did you know?”

Carol has called for my mother and is waiting for her to pick me up and pay the bill. But I have calculated what she has done, the bill with tip and expecting I forgot something. I made out my own check. Since I hardly buy anything I know it is covered. Carol smiles “Are you sure?” She knows my pride is on the line and accepts my check with no argument.

Mom gets me home and there is enough time to make a good change. Sara comes into check my hairdo and gives me a gentle hug. She helps me to get out of my school outfit and to change into the light blue skirt. I didn’t measure it but I know the petticoats and skirt aren’t shorter than yesterday. While they are a reasonable length if you are a girl who knows how to wear that length, I’m not her.

My panty has ruffles on the outside. Mom points out the pink ruffled panty and petticoat match very well and it would be difficult to say where one started and the other ended. I was to have pigtails but that is out with the new perm.

When Trudy arrives she insists I have a bit more rouge on my cheeks and it does lend to the Jill motif. Tonight my toenails are showing in all their painted glory. Again Jack’s outfit is simple and Trudy makes the cutest picturesque boy-girl.

We get to our parking spot at work and as we get out there is a small crowd to greet us. Our little town paper is out to get some photos. I hear a classmate Stacy telling my friend Jeff, “See, that’s what I would like you to do for me sometime.”

My white pantyhose set off the pink petticoat and compliments my blue skirt and white top. Trudy puts a large bonnet on me and a Dutch-boy hat on her.

As we enter the store, Tom is smiling and shaking his head at me while asking us to take our time going around the store three times. “Tomorrow, I’m having you two greet customers until 7:00 p.m.” Tom calls me aside and says, “You have Friday night off to go to your dance; please tell your mother thanks.”

I’m upset because my mother asked without me knowing and I try to tell the manager. “Tom, I want it changed back.”

“Your mother and friends are too important to the store. You will go to the dance and like it. You will not want to play sick.”

One little girl says, “You are both pretty girls, but which of you is the most beautiful girl?”

I respond “Trudy is because she is playing a boy but she still looks as pretty as me.” Trudy whispered, “I would have been very upset if you told her you weren’t a girl. I thank you very much for the compliment.”

The little girl says, “Jack should give Jill a pretend kiss even though she’s really a girl.” Trudy kisses me on the cheek as it would be against store policy to do more. The store has their top baker take some pictures of us, saying she has some ideas for special cakes.

Trudy is enjoying herself, the fact is this is all her idea, but constantly she thanks me for cooperating so well. A good number of girls from our two schools parade through the store. During the second time around I am pinched in the rear, Trudy tells me I need to stop responding to what they are doing. I pick up dropped handkerchiefs, purses and lipsticks and rarely ever show my panties. I can’t really tell if I did or not.

Come six o’clock when I go back to the bakery for work, I have over a dozen girls, between then and 9:00, asking me for help with makeup. Doris is all too pleased to send me over to help. The girls are surprised that I give them good advice and suggestions to them. A grocery store usually does not expect to do a major business in cosmetics, but this week we will do a brisk business if tonight is an indication.

Rose Bianca, a cashier and classmate, is the first to have the idea of getting tampons and having me sign the box. “To Rosie, From Jill on the Hill”. Word spreads fast and a dozen girls come into the store and buy various products for me to sign. Tom makes me go up by the cash registers to sign them after they are bought.

Tonight, it is Sandy and her boyfriend who come to give me a ride home. Kenny is surprised that Sandy wants to ride in the back with me. But Kenny is an old friend and we both know I am not competition, no fear.

When I get home Mom has a warm bubble bath waiting for me. She allows me to get in the bath and below the bubbles before she comes in. I am uncomfortable because my breasts show. ‘I know they aren’t real’ but I’m still uncomfortable with that.

Mom and I visit, while I insist this is nothing only for Halloween, I thank my Mom for all she’s been doing and what it cost. She compliments me for paying Carol for my permanent. She shows me on her smart phone the many pictures sent to her tonight. We share a lot of girl talk including the paper Ms Braun is having me do.

Against my wishes, my Mom has me sit up so she can wash my back. It is then and drying off that I realize the bath oil is very nice for my skin. The soap I use on my face is also a woman’s facial soap. Mom uses a cotton swab around my pierced ears, for the first time there is no sting.

When I get ready for bed, I stay up to finish “Sense and Sensibility”. The last ten pages I read lying on my bed. Sara pokes in her head and asks, “Are you enjoying my comforter and sheets?” I had not noticed but Mom had switched them in place of mine. My sister is not going without as she has two more sets befitting a girl’s desire to keep things fresh and attractive.

She remarks about my new hairdo and I ask to brush her hair, her usual 100 strokes. My sister is a natural strawberry blonde and very pretty.

Wednesday morning I wake as Sara or Mom is leaving my room. Another outfit is lying on the end of the bed for today at school. Along with getting ready I have removed my nail polish. I removed the polish from my toes but I was uncomfortable to put it back on. I did a nice job of shaping and repainting my fingernails. They’re now a pretty rose pink as is Trudy’s instructions for Wednesday.

Sara calls the harvest gold skirt, a pencil skirt with a soft sweater blouse without sleeves and another long sleeve cardigan sweater with roses to wear over it. I’ve seen plenty of classmates wear them looking very nice, but they were all girls.

Sara checks on me and takes the time to do my toes, leaving me with cotton balls between my toes as they set. It takes me twice as long as Sara to make-up my face, but it is still quicker than yesterday.

When I go down for breakfast Mom says, “I thought you might dress as a girl again today.”

I say, “You should know you put out the outfit.”

“That was your sister, but neither of us said you had to wear it. Sara just agreed to provide you with a nice outfit if you should choose to wear one. We figured you could pick out your own boy clothes if that was what you want.”

Dad is sitting drinking his coffee, when I moaned, “Dad?”

He said, “You’re looking way too pretty to get any sympathy out of me.”

He said, “A girl name Sandy called saying she and Deb will pick you up for school, unless she hears you are coming as Mel. I told her you would be ready.”

“See, you did set me up to go as a girl.”

Mom is offended, “Sara just came down and I asked her how you were dressing. She told me she had just polished your toes and you were again a pretty girl. Yes I did tell Sandy, but I am offended by you acting like an immature boy.”

Mom says, “You are sending so many mixed signals and you seem to blame being a cute girl on others instead of taking credit for it. If you want you can turn around and get dressed as Mel and I will give you a note for being late. But I’ll also want you to call Trudy and say it is all over you can’t take it anymore.”

“Mom, I didn’t mean that. I plan to go to school as Melanie.”

Dad spoke, “Mel, we are not obligating you to choose how you are going to live. But we do want you to stop trying to have what you are doing both ways. You are taking the joy for being Melanie, and making it more of a responsibility. We know this is a lot for a young man, but we are trying to support you in having this experience. We love you very much, though this isn’t easy for us.”

Mom hugs me, “We love Mel, but we are falling in love with Melanie, even if it is just our brave son trying a dream on for size. We want you to be proud and enjoy what you are daring to do as well.”

“Thanks and Mom you know the outfit I’m to wear to work tonight. I think I need something else.”

“Your sister and I think the same and she has a dark blue skirt that is short but will work both with your leggings and that pink sweater. You will not only be cute but Sara says you will be very much in fashion.”

I am using my computer to begin my report on Austen’s book. ‘Do the choices of Elinor and Marianne make sense? Does the young Austen’s inexperience show up in the book, or decisions one makes in life don’t always make sense in accord with the feelings and thoughts of others. One of Austen’s strengths is to take the road less traveled.’

Sandy snuck in and was reading by draft; “You know Melanie I don’t think Mel wouldn't have come close to considering this.” I’m stunned and shutdown my computer quickly under the guise of hurriedly going with them.

Deb remarks as we are riding to school, “Are you trying to portray yourself as an ordinary girl going to school? If you are, you can join our group. That is if you can keep up with the girl talk.”

“I think Sara is making sure I don’t get in trouble.” “Or asked on a date,” Deb adds, “unfortunately you appear to be a cute junior girl.”

I am surprised that I am receiving compliments from Deb, but I welcome the idea of being able to walk in the company of a group of girls. “Vice Principal Branch told me you are only to be using the girls’ restroom in emergencies.” But I told him, to a girl being clean before and after lunch and fixing our makeup will be considered an emergency. He threw up his hands, knowing we’re comfortable enough with you.”

We are walking into our classroom when Deb asks, “What are you to Derek that he’s watching to make sure nothing bad will happen to you? You’re not a secret girlfriend are you?”

I giggle as I say “No.”

A number of girls comment on my hair and ask where it was done; while others ask, if I dress myself and do my own makeup. I don’t respond to questions about how I manage my breasts. I eat another light meal and Sandy asks “How much weight are you am seeking to lose?” She guesses I have lost three pounds and is upset that I am not tracking my weight loss.

I have chorus again today and the choir director puts me back in with the girls. He says “Melanie your vocal range has significantly increased as well as your ability to stay on key and to sing clearly. Would you mind singing in the girl chorus for the Variety Show in two weeks?”

“No, I am not going to be dressing as a girl after Halloween?”

“It hasn’t been Halloween yet this week, nor will it be Friday, but you’ve been granted permission to dress the way you are from Monday through Friday. If you are Melanie Friday, I think you should be Melanie in the Variety Show.” The other girls’ applause and the guys hooting did nothing for my cause. Several girls talk, “We believe Mel is not capable of such a transformation.” They and others speculate other possibilities. Word is out that Melanie wears different outfits in portraying Jill. The burning question is how she will be dressed when she goes to work today.

I did meet my first opposition and bullying as three boys bump me into a wall, some lockers and finally one trips me. Mack is caught by Derek as he stopped to tease me while I was on the floor. “Derek no! I thank you for stopping him but you can’t hurt him; remember the second guy gets the foul called on him.” It is a football expression pertaining to the rule breaker getting away with a foul as the second party gets charged with the foul if he responds in kind.

Mack’s feet were off the floor before Derek puts him down. Derek fakes a misstep and drives his elbow into Mack. Mack complains but someone professes to see it as a trip, thus no foul.

I am now standing as Sandy asks, “Derek will you dance with Melanie Friday night?” His reply is a whisper that I can’t hear, but Sandy smiles upon hearing it.

After school I am heading to Deb’s car with Sandy when Derek offers me a ride. Mel/Melanie is uncomfortable with the idea. Sandy says, “It is the least you can do for your knight in shining armor.” Derek has a pick-up but it is nicely kept, has power and handles well as Derek says and demonstrates. He is also a gentleman as he gets out and would have opened the door if I had waited.

Mom greets me and asks about my chaperone. Mom’s upset upon hearing about the trouble with three guys. Mom walks with me to my room and shows me the skirt lying out with the rest of my stuff for tonight. Along with the outfit is a new Secret deodorant, “That is another thing a girl does not usually share. If you don’t mind I want to see my new little girl change? I know you are not so little, but you are my youngest as well as new from the girl perspective.”

I amuse my Mom as long as I can turn away at times. I kind of like being her little girl. There is a shower cap for my quick shower as well as a large wrap as I dry off. Using Satinsense my legs are hair free and feeling wonderful. My panties are a powder blue and my leggings are a mixture of pink, white, blue and grey. There is a pattern that works well in making a girl’s legs look slim while accenting their shape. While the blue skirt is long enough the material is light and moves with any and every movement or breeze.

I need to use my pretty bra as the neckline or the sweater would show off my bra. There is just a hint of cleavage unless I bow forward a little. Mom has me take out my hoops and in their place are teardrop dangles. My eye makeup is light and bright but not too bright. My face looks like a younger Jill. “You can be glad this is like a costume, because if it wasn’t with guys like the young hulk who brought you home, you would be staying home.”

I smile and contain my giggle. “You don’t mean that?”

“Look in the mirror and consider yourself the Mom of the young woman you see?” I like what I see and it causes me to get excited. I spray lightly with a perfume Sara had left and walk into the spray. “That better not be the one that changes with your body heat?” I didn’t know there are fragrances like that.

Mom drives me to work and lets me off at Trudy’s car. The leggings protect my legs from the cold but I can feel the breeze and my skirt’s lively movement. Mom has her smartphone on video format. Somehow she is also getting pictures. There are two yellow baby ducks in the pail of water tonight. Trudy puts pink and yellow barrettes in my hair before we go in.

Tom has a special in-store sales flyer we are to give out. It is designed to get lookers tempted to buy something and from what we see it often works. We are handing out Kisses to young children, but on our second trip around the store I broke open a bag of sugar-free candies. I remembered from last year a few diabetic children we weren’t ready for.

Trudy smiles, she sees a little boy looking at the sugar-free candy. “What kind do you like?” The boy points to three kinds and Trudy takes it to a cashier, “Rosie, I’ll give you the money if you give me a paid sticker.” A deal is made and the boy and his mommy were very happy.

“Let’s go greet, I can do for many of those.”

A Courier News reporter comes and wants some pictures and information. We buy some time saying she needs permission from Tom the store Manager. We know he left for a late dinner. She takes some pictures and gets her story from customers and other workers. When Rosie goes on her break, she tells me the reporter spoke with my mother for a short time. I am relatively sure my Mom would be discrete, but I am somewhat nervous by the number of people she asks.

Trudy tells the reporter, “I came up with the idea last year after a boy in my school had to wear one of those weighted pregnancy bumps for a week last year.”

The reporter asks me, “In the spirit of school rivalries would you do that for two weeks?”

“This is enough for me and luckily I haven’t been asked?”

“Now I’ve asked, but if it needs to be official, I hope your School Board will read tomorrow’s article?” With that the reporter is ready to leave and things return to my strange Halloween normal.

“You can ask but I don’t think the School Board would allow me to do it even if there was to be pressure from the public.”

Story is to be continued…

Come eight o’clock, Trudy comes up with the idea of skipping around the store hand in hand. Half way around I trip not use to the heels. Trudy decides to fall down beside me. Trudy, “Jill, sit against the cola display.” Three little girls come over and Jack pulled out a book, “Would you like Jill read you a story.” Sure enough the book is “Jack and Jill” and the girls sit down perfectly behaved and listen as I begin to read. Two more children are seated by the end of the story. Two other mothers and children come as we finish and we read the story once more. Three more parents are now hoping we will read the story one more time.

Trudy speaks up, “We’re going to fall down over by the bakery counter. So if it is okay we will read to them there?” Trudy compliments me on how I kept my legs together and folded to the side. Over by the bakery Jack falls down first and I tumble as Jack takes away any dignity I had.

Jack reads the story the first time, and Doris treats each of the children each to half of a black and white cookie. A diabetic boy is given a buttered roll instead. When we get up having read the story two more times, Mrs. Kendral, the wife of the store owner, is there to greet us.

“I would like to invite you girls over to our house for dinner Sunday if your parents will allow you to come.”

Trudy answers, “I think our parents were hoping for this to come to an end Saturday, but a one day extension probably won’t be too long.”

I hesitated to ask, “Mrs. Kendral as you probably know I’m not a girl; would I need to come dressed as Jill?”

“Yes Mr. Greene, I know you’re not, but I would like you come as Jill if you would. I will like to take some pictures then if it is okay?” I curtsy and Trudy bows as we say “Yes, Mrs. Kendral,” pending our parents approval. Mrs. Kendral takes a picture now. “I must say, you both look and act exceptionally well. I’ve heard that Jill’s outfits change every day is that true?”

Trudy speaks up, “Yes, we’re treating her like a regular girl; and you know the same outfit won’t do,” she giggles. …Mrs. Kendral smiles, “Who’s we?”

“O, her Mom, sister and now my mom helps and girls at both schools have taken interest in Jill.” Trudy and Mrs. Kendral walk away talking and I get back to work behind the counter.

Come time to leave at 9:00 p.m., Doris asks me to resupply the cosmetics. Posted there are pictures of me as Jill, Rosie as a Gypsy, two princesses and two Twilight girls. Doris has lists of some of the makeup from each. If I hadn’t learned much working the cosmetic area, I had not have realized we were having a favorable impact on the costumers. A lot has been bought even tonight.

Derek comes to give me a ride home, as had my Mom and my Grandma is with her. I was not expecting my grandmother to see me dressed as Jill. Grandma has a poker face as she speaks, “I wanted to come and see my new granddaughter come Halloween.”

“Why am I the one who is out of the loop? This is so embarrassing.” Mom takes a picture just in case I wondered if I turned red with embarrassment.

Derek wants to take me out for ice cream. Mom giggles, “It’s a school night so no more than a half hour.” I try to give mom an expression to say ‘No’. Trudy said she will join us, so I am surprised when we are given a booth that Derek scoots in behind me. Surprised is one thing, uncomfortable is another. Derek takes a picture, he says is for his younger brother. “Squirt says, you doing this, has broken the ice for him and others. He’s going to be Princess Leia tomorrow.”

I start to say… Derek interrupts, “I know you’re not like him, but he thinks otherwise and if it gives him courage, I am thankful. Someone has even asked if I will dance with you, but I want to make sure it won’t embarrass you?” I don’t have the nerve to tell a 250 pound knight ‘No’.

When Trudy gets up to use the restroom, our waitress realizes I need to use the restroom as well. “My girlfriend Traci will go with you if that would help.” Traci quickly comes over, she checks the restroom after Trudy and then waves me in. “I wouldn’t have known if Elaine hadn’t told me. You make a very convincing girl.” We continue to talk. “I really like your leggings; you have the legs for them. I just wish you hadn’t worn the skirt, though it does look part of the outfit.” She smiles as I come out, properly done up and she is amused by my comfort in touching up my makeup and hair. “Way to go girl.” I thank her and offer to pick up her bill but she says ‘No’.

We’re home at 10:10 and for some reason I kiss Derek on the cheek and say thanks. Nana pulls me into the kitchen as I come through the door. I am compelled to do the girly things of turning 360o, and letting grandmother fuss over my skirt, sweater and how well I look in leggings. She moves over and I am to sit next to her. She gives me a hug and visits speaking to me as Melanie.

Mom says, “I have already laid out your stuff for tomorrow in Sara’s room as well as your night clothes. Nana will use your room tonight. Your Grandmother wants to see Jill already for Halloween.”

“My young lady, you have a fair wardrobe and selection of makeup for just a few days. Are you sure this is not a change in lifestyle?” Nana giggled, but I was afraid she was being somewhat serious.

“Why does everyone say that?”

“Mom, Mrs. Kendral has invited Trudy and me to dinner Sunday as Jack and Jill. We need your permission but it would be okay with me if you say ‘No’. And I wished you had said ‘No’ to Derek.”

“If you already said ‘Yes’ to her you have my permission. Did you say, ‘Yes’?”

“You know I did, but you need to help me.”

“It is just one more day and if you didn’t want to do it you should have spoken for yourself. It would put your father and his business in a bad position to say ‘no’ afterwards. Your Father doesn’t mind being here for you; if he loses customers because of you being a girl, he will handle that.”

Grandma asks, “Can I do your nails if they are to be different for tomorrow?”

We agreed that I would shower and get ready for bed first. It took more time to take off my makeup and cleanse my face as it was more elaborate than the other days. Sara tells me to shampoo and condition my hair as well and she will roll my curls so I won’t damage them as I sleep.

I did as told and I am sitting downstairs in my camisole and pants with Sara rolling my hair and Grandma doing my nails. Since I deny being a girl, Grandma is talking to Sara and Mom about me. They’re done in thirty minutes as I work on my report as we talk. I proofread and print it off my report before I go to sleep. Getting to sleep with rollers in my hair and Halloween to be officially here in the morning, sleep is not easy. Sara tells me Melanie was talking in her sleep. Sleeping with rollers in my hair is among a number of new experiences I have being a girl.

Today’s outfit is simple enough the light blue cotton skirt with straps crisscrossed in the back and straight down the front. “Mom, this isn’t the skirt I am to wear! The petticoat and skirt are too short. The cotton blouse is pretty but opens too far down in front.”

I am thankful for little favors like the pantyhose being the same color all the way up and I have learned how to kneel down in short skirts. Grandma does not allow me to take my makeup and do it away from her. A boy doesn’t necessarily see it as a compliment when his grandma compliments his ability to do her makeup, yet she won’t let him do it without her help.

Sara has her computer on in the kitchen with a camera connection to Trudy, so we can see each other as we are ready for school. A friend’s sister stops over to give me a ride to school saying it is her turn. I wanted to date her that was my initial reason to become her brother’s friend. Her brother is now wearing her cheerleading uniform. Steve says, “There are probably more crossovers today than normal. And most are seriously attired in good femme style due to the help of a girlfriend or sisters and classmates.”

Word is that one second floor girls’ room is reserved for girls like us. Sandy and Deb however tell me the rule is for others not me. Mrs. Roberts is amused when I hand in my report in a day early. “Mel, I’m not sure which one I am addressing, but if I get my wish I will see Melanie here tomorrow and next week. Melvin doesn’t usually have his reports on time or legible let alone a day early.”

“I assure you it is just a coincidence that I am dressed as Jill, I already had it done.” I’m not getting as much extra attention today as everyone is in costume. With my luck the day does not go smoothly. I am called to the office shortly after lunch. The library has received two copies of the Courier News, with me featured on the front page of the area news. I am misquoted, “Saying the school wouldn’t have the nerve to allow me to wear the weighted pregnancy bump harness.”

Ms. Braun greets me, “You should not have publicly challenged the school like that.” The Principal calls us both into his office, “Young Greene, we have an excellent high school health program. I have just talked to the Superintendent on the phone and he is asking you and your parents to attend Monday’s School Board Meeting.”

I say, “You can’t take the reporter’s word over mine?”

“I have already confirmed that she talked with you on this very subject.”

“Yes, but she has it wrong.” Plus I didn’t say “Two weeks or two months I’m almost half way through a two week challenge. I think this week has taught me all I need to know.”

The Principal is trying to hold his cool but I know he’s steaming. “I for one think you are the one greatly mistaken. How long do you think a good challenge of changing the weights and the size of the bump would take to give you a good experience?”

“Mr. Lawrence, I have an Aunt due in February, if you want I would be willing to follow in her shoes and make a report but I don’t think a guy can do justice to such a report in two weeks. Especially during the busy time of year we are coming into.”

Principal Lawrence, “Do you think you and your Aunt are close enough that between now and her delivery in February you could come close enough to do it justice?”

“Principal Lawrence, I just want to get through Halloween and not talk about this now, but sure we’re close.”

“Well then I will let you go and seek to get a recommendation ready for when you meet with the school board.”

“Then I’m not in trouble and am free to go?”

“No. You are not in trouble; I like your ideas. Ms Braun has a note inviting you and your parents to the Board meeting. Take it and you are free to go.”

My stomach is in knots and I need to quickly go to the restroom before I make a mess. Several girls giggle when they see me come out of a stall. “Was it that much of an emergency that you couldn’t make it upstairs?” I apologize and said it was, describing my blight much to their amusement.

Word is out that I have agreed to something with Principal Lawrence.

Today of all days I have to walk home. It is cool and damp and I have Goosebumbs all over and I am turning blue by the time I get home. Mom too is upset about my remarks in the paper and not surprised about the meeting with the School Board. “Mom, I met with Principal Lawrence. He too was very upset but he cooled down and we reached a good understanding by the time I left. I will only have to do a report with Aunt Marti’s help.”

“Well, you need to get ready for Trudy to pick you up. She asks for your makeup to be a little brighter for work today. She also asked, if I thought a little padding would be out of line. So I suggest you put on a fresh blouse, do your makeup for evening wear and I will be in with the lift pads in a moment.” I’m running on automatic pilot, not wanting any more arguments.

I ask for Grandma’s help with makeup, but she gives me over to Sara. Sara makes sure I wash my upper body right, making sure I don’t scrub like a guy or use my old soap. Patting myself dry she smiles and leaves me to finish on my own. I used my girl’s deodorant and lightly use powder so I don’t chaff.

Luckily, I call Sara back as I am already putting in the pads wrong in my bra. Sara says, “Since you have breast forms you might not notice how that actually feels; other women will see it and wonder why you don’t?” I pay attention so not to make the same mistake in the future. Sara compliments, “You do pay close attention, I will credit you that.”

The blouse I put on is a shimmering pink, “Sara, I can’t see this Jill carrying a pail of water?” I move and then I see my mid-section showing. “Sara, this blouse way is too small, I can’t wear this.”

“It is not short that is part of its design. Just be glad you look good in it, most boys couldn’t carry that off. But you have a pretty mid-section girly.”

“No boy, including me, should hear something like that. Mom will not let me go out like this.”

“Let me ask you a question Mel, what do you do when Deb or some other attractive girl wears one like it around you?”

“That’s not the point; I’m a red-blooded boy.”

Sara waits tapping her foot, “Okay, just look at it that way when...” She smiles, “This Halloween you like a red-blooded girl out to tease the red-blooded boys.” I turn red and feel a little nauseous. Trudy and Mom are behind me and I hear them giggle. Mom says, “That settles that, now take your purse and get to work.” Before I could speak, Mom says, “No buts, just shake your hips and get going.”

I slide my hands behind and under my skirt to sit in the car properly. “My Mel, you have come a long way this week. I appreciate what you have done and I am looking forward to the dances tomorrow and Saturday. Do you think the guys and girls at your school will be cool about me being with you?”

When we get out of Trudy’s car, she pulls out a white basket with a white bow made of tooling. Then she kneels and asks, “Will you marry me?” Then I am caught in one of those girls looking times with her staring until I answer. I’m in, “Yes!” I find myself jumping up and down, hugging Jack and playing the part. I pause and Sara’s puts a veil on me that trails down my body to the back of my knees.

Rosie and others are inside congratulating Jack and Jill as a forever couple. “Jill, you need to call your parents to make sure they approve.”

I call home, I get Mom but she gives me over to Dad. “Dad, is it okay if I marry Trudy?”

“Who’s this, where is my daughter Jill?” I answered again this time Mel, no Jill. I give the phone to Trudy so I can get my voice back and take the phone back. “Hi Daddy, Jack just asked me to marry him and I said, ‘Yes’.”

Dad keeps his composure, “I know dear, he asked for your mother’s and my approval the other night. This must be a real treat for the two of you.”

The Store Manager is asking us to please walk around the store so we can greet customers as they come in. We help to hand out candy to Trick or Treaters coming into the store. We’re also asked to read the Jack and Jill story for several groups of children as well as asked to reenact the story.

I am asked again and again about the newspaper story and causing trouble for the school. Tom calls me aside, “Mel you need to respond constructively so there is no fallout here at the store.”

“For Tom and everyone who is asking: I just want to assure you I talked with Mr. Lawrence our Principal. I apologized and will meet with the school board and I have agreed to co-operate with them. If my Aunt agrees I will follow in her for a better understanding maybe until she has her baby in February.” Everyone including Tom voices their approval by clapping.

Jack gives me a kiss on the cheek whispering, “Will there be little Jack and Jill coming?”

I shake my head over how everything seems to take a life of its own. “I am enjoying doing this with you as I hope you are doing.”

“Mel, this is turning out to be way more fun than I ever imagined. I am especially proud how you have gone along with it. I don’t think any girl could find a guy more cooperative. I think this will be remembered for a long time and never, ever duplicated.” This time she kisses me on the lips. I only wish I had time to savor it. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised as she kisses me again. This time it is with even more affection.

More than a half dozen parents mostly moms thank us for remember their children who need something gluten or sugar free. Each time Trudy gives Jill the credit. I don’t know how or why, but three moms got together and presented me with a gift “To be opened later”.

Come a little before 7:00 we are sent to the downtown to represent the store in the Halloween Parade. Even with the sandal heels I am not happy about walking in the three block parade as it will also be another 3 ½ blocks back. I’ve never seen this many people turn out to walk or see the Halloween Parade.

On our way back, Carol of the Women’s Towne Shoppe presents each of us with a gift. “If it is not the right size you can exchange your gift but there are no refunds.” When we got back to the store Tom quickly says, “You can’t accept gifts as a store employee.”

Trudy shot back, “They’re probably womyn’s clothing so do you want it or you can to tell Ms. Carol Brandt she needs to take it back. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she checks for us at DHS’s dance to see if we’re wearing them. We also got candy as ‘Trick or Treaters, do you want our candy.” Tom quickly backs off and graciously made an exception.

“Do you really think Carol would expect something like that?” I ask after Tom left.

“I’m sure of it; she approached me yesterday for sizes, so I knew Tom couldn’t use it.”

“You know what she gave me don’t you? Please tell me,” I said emphatically.

“It is something you can wear tomorrow and I am sure she expects you too.” She teases but wouldn’t tell me anything more. I wish I could get upset with her, but I can’t. Even when we go to the Pizza Tower after work she slaps my hand when I try to open the gift, “Not until I drop you at your house.”

There is a good size group of us, mostly girls. If we were guys we would need to order atleast two more pizzas. Several girls have Trudy and I sign a copy the newspaper article. Another three girls buy a paper at the counter and again we sign their copies. Sandy has me kiss her copy before I sign it. As we leave, someone comments how well I participated in the girl talk.

Trudy remembers the envelope, “To be opened later.” The other girls are as anxious as we are. Trudy opens it, “Sweet, it’s for two free facials.” I respond, “Just what I need.”

Sandy whispers, “Try it before you knock it.”

It is after 10:30 p.m. when I get home but Trudy still taps her car horn as I get out. I was planning to hid the gifts before going in the house. Sara came too quickly to the door so I couldn’t do it. She sees the gift and drags me to the nook where Mom and Grandma are waiting.

Sara sits next to Grandma and I have to stand and open the gift. My nails let me slide my fingers under the paper and open the gift without tearing the wrapping as well as take care of the ribbon and bow. “I’m glad it is too small to be an outfit.”

My smile turns to surprise when I find a pretty red dress. Mom checks the size and holds it in front of me. “Not too many junior boys can wear a size eight. Please go and change into it; I want to make sure it fits.” Mom blocks my attempt to sit down and she turns me and gives me a pat on my bottom to get going.

It is a pretty red dress and it is neither too short nor too sexy, though it is sexy enough. There is a short half-slip out on my bed to wear with the dress. Sara comes in and checks the dress and slip. “Melanie, the hem of the slip should be an inch above the hem of you dress.” She loosens the dress and has me hold it as she scoots up my slip and makes sure it is even all the way around. She zips up the back and smoothes the skirt.

When we go back out to my parents and Grandma, I twirl so they can see it better. Mom remarks, “Only a daughter who is happy with how she looks does that.”

I’m surprised to see Dad. “I hear you are to wear that dress to school. You will need to write a thank you to Carol and the store, do you hear me?” I confirmed hearing his request.

I go back to my room as I have history and math homework to get done. Mom comes in and tells me, “You need to take off the dress before you resume your studies young lady.” To my mind, a guy doesn’t worry about things like that. “I am very proud of you Mel. I hope you appreciate how special people are treating you. Do you agree how pretty the dress is on you?”

Alone with Mom I feel comfortable telling her, “Thanks Mom; it is kind of nice since I am doing this that I feel like a pretty girl. But please let that be just between you and me.” Mom remarks about it being our mother/daughter secret. I studied, as well as took off my makeup and showered and went to bed just before 1:00 a.m. As a boy I could have been to bed much earlier if only…

To be continued…

Come morning, I am up early and getting ready and I put on the red dress before I go to breakfast. I notice part of the slit on the side has been hand sewn shut. “Mom, why did you sew up the side on the dress? I appreciate it but why?”

“Your skirts can’t open more than 3” for school and I didn’t want you to be sent home. But I am surprised you are wearing it to school; I thought you would just wear it to the dance tonight.” She smiled, “I think we can open it for tonight’s dance.” I’m surprised about not having to wear it to school, I thought that was what they wanted. I was going to change but Mom and Sara say I don’t have time.

Sara drives me to school early. Mr. Larkin our vocal teacher smiles, when he sees me. Though I am not sure why.

Ms. Roberts compliments me, “I am glad you showed some restraint in choosing your little red dress Mel.”

“Thank you.” She calls me to a corner and asks for my brush. She uses it to fix my bangs which were blown about.

Sandy tells me, “Mr. Lawrence has told us today you need to use the restroom in the nurse’s office.” That means I need to think before I go up to the third floor for classes just in case I would have an emergency.

As we’re passing through the halls for my first class, Ms. Braun makes it official. “Mel, you are to use only the toilet in the nurse’s office… I want to see you in my office as soon as you finish your lunch, make sure you remember that.”

I receive many compliments on how I looked last night at the parade and work. However I receive several notes placed in my locker calling me derogatory names, with one even asking for sex, no name given. Just before lunch I am pushed into a locker and trip to the floor. The hallway is busy so I am not sure if it is an accident or on purpose.

I check the dress and I am glad it didn’t tear. My pantyhose was messed a little with dust and two small snags that I hardly noticed. John my classmate from work gives me a hand in getting up and collecting my computer, purse and books. He says, “I have a lot more respect for you now then when this started. I’m even feeling bad about others who get hassled every day.”

“Thanks John, I appreciate that. I know what you mean about the others.”

Come lunch I am invited to several tables for lunch. I didn’t have the nerve to sit with my friend Eddy who came out last year. He’s a friend but I don’t want to share his labels. Instead I sit again with Sandy, Deb and friends. I eat quickly and go to Ms. Braun’s office.

“Hello Melanie, I hope you don’t mind but I have been told to call you Melanie when you are dressed as a girl. I have been asked to confirm that you told Mr. Lawrence and others that you will cooperate with the School Board when you meet with them Monday. I want to remind you they will meet at 6:30 at the Administration building.” She pauses and smiles, waiting for me to respond.

“Yes, I agreed with Mr. Lawrence, and have told my parents so. I will cooperate and abide by their decision. My parents are going to attend with me. I have been told that is okay.”

Mrs. Braun talks with me making sure I have the support I need as well as making sure I am freely deciding what I’m doing. I try hard to communicate, “I am in no way seeking to cause trouble. I have learned a lot and I am sure there is more I could learn through Aunt Marti.”

My visit with Ms Braun goes on into the next period. I feel much better now having her support. She takes the notes I found in my locker and she voices concern about my falling and what might have happened. She suggests, “Please take my extra pair of pantyhose as a gift. Sorry but those little snags and where it is stretched is a bigger deal for girls than you realize. You should learn that if you are going to be Melanie.”

I said, “But it’s not the girls who have it wrong, its guys who are wrong. We don’t pay attention to that small stuff.” She walks with me to History class and asks the teacher to excuse my lateness.

The next period, I have Chorus instead of gym and Mr. Larkin informs me, “I now expect you to be singing with the girls as part of their chorus group for the Variety Show. I want you to even practice as such for Thanksgiving and our Winter Holidays Concert.” I practiced today and will do so next week though I don’t expect to be dressed as Melanie.

I joke that I will even dress as Melanie for the Thanksgiving program knowing we did not have one. Deb tells me afterward, “But we do, we sing at the Elementary and Middle schools for Thanksgiving as well as at the Rotary Club and the girls chorus even sings for the Festival of Lights. You will want a good pair of tights and a long skirt for the Festival of Lights.”

My phone buzzes with a text message from Mom: “You and Trudy have a 4:00 p.m. appointment to have your nails done. I’ve even scheduled facials.” While it will be enjoyable I am tired of rushing here and there like a girl. I will be glad for things to be over tomorrow night.

Sara gives me a quick ride home where Mom tells me to change out of my dress and pantyhose. Mom tells me, “A girl doesn’t wear her dress the whole day if she can help it. Your dress should air out a bit plus I need to take out the threads I added this morning.

I wore floppy sandals to get my pedicure along with my fingers done. Mom comments on how much my hair and complexion has changed the past week. I checked with my compact mirror and had to agree. My complexion isn’t showing blemishes like last week. There is a healthy glow to my face.

Teshi takes me at Colors Nail Salon and again Trudy is next to me. While I enjoy having my feet and hands done, I am visiting with Trudy and not watching every move like before. Teshi explains to me, “The red polish matches your dress, but it is neither florescent nor too bright like the ones you chose.” Teshi explains, “Tonight your nail polish should compliment your dress while not taking the boys eyes off of you.” My lips are luscious even with them painted a shade darker with a dark Bing Cherry Red. Trudy smiles as she notices my legs pressed together. I am afraid what might happen when I stand up. The appearance of my feet and legs has improved even more than my complexion.

Trudy agrees pay towards her portion of the bill with a little for the tip, which leaves me with enough to consider a small ruby pinky ring that I see and try on. I didn’t intend to buy it but I did. Trudy buys a turquoise ring. “It is more fitting for Jack,” she tells me. I don’t know why I bought my ring, but I know Trudy is only fooling herself if she thinks she bought it for Jack.”

es home with us to change for the dance. She’s covered her outfit so I can’t see it before hand. Sara greets her at the door and they go up to her room to change and I am relegated back to my room. I put on the concealer and foundation and then get dressed. My pantyhose are a more expensive brand that I haven’t ever heard of it. Mom helps me put them on. Mom gives me a small glass of water and a pill. I ask, “What is this?”

“It is so peter doesn’t spoil your night,” there’s a light giggle. Mom has another bra like the one I had on and wants me to change into it, “It will help as the night goes on to have on fresh under clothing.” Mom sprays a small mist of a gardenia fragrance, “I want you to walk into this.” It is beautiful enough that I want to use more of it, but Mom won’t let me. “Don’t worry, it will stay with you all evening, too much Gardenia can be overwhelming.”

Somehow the little red dress sliding down my body feels even more wonderful than this morning. I didn’t notice, until it is on but the slit opening on the dress and the slip line up nicely. “Mom look how amazing my legs look?” I go looking for my sandal heels, when Mom hands me another shoe box. It is a very beautiful pair of three inch heels with open toes. I don’t realize until I stand the difference of another ½”. “But Mom won’t my feet tire faster in regular heels.”

“Yes, enjoy the look and also remember how it feels. You’ve noticed how pretty your legs are, now enjoy the night with Trudy.”

“Mom, I can’t believe you said that?” Mom giggles and then sends me downstairs to wait for Trudy, and as I pass Sara’s room the door is open a crack and I see Trudy from behind. She is still in her panty and bra. I swear under my breath as I see her curves, ‘I wish that were me. What am I thinking?’ I mutter aloud, “I am glad tomorrow is the last time.”

“You still have the dinner at Kendrals’ and the meeting before the school board on Monday” my mother says, “so I hear. “

Once downstairs Nana hands Mom a long jewelry box and she takes out a gold chain with a ruby in a teardrop setting. Nan hands me a tissue and encourages me not to cry. Nana takes a picture of me and another one of me with my parents. The doorbell rings and Aunt Marti comes in with her baby and Sherri her three year old. I bend down and lift up Sherri. “Mommy says, I am to call you Auuntie Melwanie.”

I smile and say, “That sounds very good, do you know who I really am?”

She repeats my name, “Auunt Melwanie”. Aunt Marti says, “You know Ms Melanie, you could make some good money babysitting, especially if the daddys pay you.” “Gross, Aunt Marti, how can you say that?”

I am sitting when Trudy appears at the top of the stairs. I stand and look up to her. She has on a long black dress but the skirt is fashioned like a beautiful evening dress in a pants style that is hard to it as recognize as such. There are atleast three cameras clicking taking pictures. I look behind me and even Trudy’s Mom is here. Dad is standing behind me with his hands on the sides of my shoulders. “You have a most beautiful date Mel.” “Thanks Dad.”

I have a wrist corsage of baby breath and white baby roses. Dad hands me a red rose for Trudy’s lapel.

The dance is already well attended when we arrive, but as we walk in with me holding Trudy’s arm the room goes quiet. The band starts an old Beach Boys song “Little Surfer, Little Girl”. Trudy takes me in her arm to the dance floor and then in both her arms as we dance onto the floor and others follow.

“Trudy you are so beautiful tonight. I want to thank you for coming tonight and for making the whole week special.” I continue, “Every night has been better than the night before and tomorrow we have one more night. Do you really think it can be any better?”

“It will be for me as we will be at my school. Even if it is only just half as good, it will be well worth it.” Trudy leads me into a full spin and then leans me gracefully back. It is but a second that I am on both heels. We have three more dances before we sit down.

“Trudy, I will make every effort for tomorrow be as special for you as tonight is for me!”

I am seated for one dance when three guys come over to me. There is no question for me who has the next dance as Derek makes an impressive entrance as Frankenstein. The first song is slow but the second is comical, “The Monster Mash”. I’m not sure how to dance to it but I follow Derek’s lead. Seemingly he has choreographed the song. The whole dance floor is either acting up or trying to follow Derek and me. The song ends with Derek picking me up and carrying me out to the hallway. I am laughing so hard I am not sure if my panty is showing. As Derek puts me down he leans me back and gives me a kiss. My breath is taken away. It is not until later I realize I should have been more embarrassed.

As I went back into the dance the other boys want to dance with Jill or Jack. Jack tells them, “You will need to sandwich yourselves in between our own dances. Come 10:30 I have danced with two more boys between dances with Trudy. The last one had stepped on my feet and let go after he twirled me. I fell on the floor. He was even a klutz when he tried to help me up. I begged mercy before the dance ended.

Trudy took me into the womyn’s rest room to stop the approach of the next guy. I’m the only guy in the restroom but everyone treats me as another girl. Then another boy came into the rest room. He makes the mistake of dropping his skirt and panties in his stall and then tried to peek to see the girls. Tracy pulled his skirt out and his panties came with them. They gave him his panties back wet and they coaxed him to open his door, as I left.

Trudy wanted to stay but she came out with me. There are different stories about what happens next.

Come 11:15, Trudy gets me up dancing again, two dances with her and one dance with a guy. Derek taps me on the shoulder but when I turn around it is Princess Leia that is there and I am happy to dance with him. I ask, “Is your brother as protective of you as he is of me?” I find myself leading for the first time since one of my first dances with Trudy. Travis is his name; he wishes it were Stacy. When I hope others aren’t looking I give her a kiss.

It is 11:30 when we leave the dance as it would end minutes before midnight and some had already left. My phone vibrates with a text message from Mom: “You have until 1:30 until you need to be home. You need to be a good girl or come home earlier.”

We walked around a little outside at a nearby park, but go to my house since the night is getting colder. My parents usually let Sara alone in our rec room. We have a pool table, some comfortable chairs where we can play our music. It is funny as Sara already beat us down there, but we find our own place anyway. Trudy’s more aggressive than me but I enjoy her hands going over by buns as she calls them. The material of the skirt, my panties and pantyhose make for an interesting feel. Trudy feels even better to me.

My boy equipment finally begins to respond when Mom calls down that Trudy and Bart need to go home.

Sara and I hang up our clothes and get ready for bed. Sara gives me one of her extra robes so we can go down and visit. It looks very pretty, but it doesn’t cover a whole lot. Mom smiles and pours some tea so we can visit.

Mom hands me a message from Principal Lawrence: “You are requested to wear a dress and come as Melanie to school Monday. Some school board members plan to visit school and want to see the students reacting while you are attending as Melanie.” I’m too tired to argue. It is three o’clock by the time I am in bed and I sleep until noon.

Aunt Marti brings over a bridal gown though it is not hers. It is a simpler and shorter bridal dress than those traditionally worn. I don’t get to try it all on because I am to get dressed at Trudy’s house. Mrs. Brandt wants the joy of helping me to get ready. The dress is snug and there would be a surprise there that I did not see.

It is three o’clock when Mom drives me over to their house and then leaves me. I am sure she will be back. I wished she had stayed as I am anxious about changing around Mrs. Brandt. I guess I have a good right to be as she came into the bathroom while I am in the shower to make sure I shave my legs and underarms. I didn’t satisfy her she said and I had a second chance to do better or else.

Mrs. Brandt is some six years younger than my mother and has a very well endowed figure. Mrs. Brandt has a piece of clothing I haven’t seen before she says it is a corset. Her sister Irene is there officially to help make sure I am not harmed or abused. They lay me down and put a vagina gaff on me and then a small pair of lace panties. When they help me with the corset and finally tighten the corset. I jokingly tell her sister in a squeaky voice, “You didn’t do your job.”

I am more impressed with the lace sleeves of the gown as I can see and feel them. I said they are too girly. I’m told this is Trudy’s night and I am to dress accordingly. Next they style and fix my hair and face to be as pretty as a bride. I am not sure how they do my makeup but I now I look so delicate and my hair so eloquent; I just enjoy what they did.

This afternoon Trudy is done first and does not worry about seeing the bride early. She has a short lace dress, black panties and black lace stockings and a white shirt collar and glittering tie to give the illusion of a tux.

The combination: of having my hair done, the vagina and seeing Trudy; I’m getting too excited and mess my panties. It is really embarrassing as her Mom helps to clean me up. I am given another small pill and a small glass of water.

They have me step back into my bridal dress just prior to the final fixing of my hair. I am wearing a small tiara with a short veil with a train that touches the back of my knees. Once again pictures are taken and quickly transposed to wedding announcements that we are to take with us in our purses.

We have a light meal and a half hour later I am told to go to the bathroom on my own. While I finally managed, it should go faster the next time. It took me a half hour to do what I needed to do and become presentable again.

Luckily the night is mild as there is a procession on one floor of the school before we can go into the dance. I am not a happy camper when we are approached by the Courier News reporter. Trudy reminds me to act nice as making a scene here would be bad if it got back to my school.

Despite that temporary ripple of my emotions, the night soon turns festive. Tonight I have two monsters to put up with one Frankenstein of course; the other is King Kong. The girls at Trudy’s school are the ones who take most of the turns dancing with me when Trudy is not. Most of the times as fast dances but the girls take the opportunity during slow dances to lead. Two guys who did get to dance with me both got excited during the dances.

Tonight we leave the dance at 11:00 and go for a walk. Trudy has a suit coat she lets me wear as we walk. We talk about the past week sharing the times we enjoyed the most. She as well as I enjoy each other the most and found our times with children, babies and moms to be very special as well. Trudy says, “You would make a great girl and mother.” It is midnight when we stop walking and 12:30 a.m. ride back to Trudy’s house.

I am now so tired I don’t fight the news I am to stay. It is decided I will stay in the guest room. I am provided a nightgown to wear and the bed has a fluffy comforter that promises to keep me warm. Mrs. Brandt says she does not have the dissolving glue agent for my gaff. I am not sure it is true, but again I’m too tired to argue.

To be continued…

Four o’clock in the morning Trudy sneaks into the room and bed with Mel.

I could say I protested and won, or I could make up stories for Monday morning at school, but neither would be true. We did a lot of kissing and petting, but things did not go as far as either wished. It was more than I have ever done, apart from my dreams.

Despite the pill not to get aroused, I did get overwhelmed with feelings and excitement. Trudy said, that since I didn’t get aroused like a normal boy, my experience of stars and explosive feelings, must have been a girl’s orgasm. I didn’t know boys could have them. There is not much question in Trudy’s mind. She said it was the first time she had experienced two. I got very excited just holding her as she exploded with joy both times.

Once, her mother poked her head in the door and said, “The next time I hear noise making its way out of this room, Trudy, you will go back to your room, and I will sleep in the hall if I need to.” She did not ask if we understood, and we were not arguing.

Trudy kisses me and whispers, “Our house isn’t quite like yours.” We began kissing and caressing again. I am unsure when I fell asleep, but it was not soon. I did wake up at 9:00 in the morning in Trudy’s arms with my head snuggled next to her breasts. I set to caressing them until she wakes and there is a knock at the door. We are given thirty minutes to get cleaned up and dressed. I shower and find one of my outfits on the bed. It is closer to an hour before we are ready and out of the room. Breakfast is only a sweet roll, coffee for Trudy, tea, juice, and a roll for me.

My Mom and Dad arrived as they hadn’t seen much of me. Dad is the only one who knows exactly where the Kendrals live. Mom sensed by my behavior that something was different but wouldn’t bring it up.

I am wearing a light blue skirt with two petticoats to dinner at the Kendrals’. Jack has on blue shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, knee-high white socks, and a white floppy hat.

Mrs. Kendral welcomes us into the house, saying, “Please call me Rachel while you are here… Charlie, thanks for bringing Jack and Jill over to the house. I will call when they need a ride.” She comments, “Jack looks like a cute Dutch boy, and Jill, you are just darling; isn’t she dear?” Mr. Kendral eats dinner with us and then finds a reason to leave by 3:30. We enjoy our visit with his wife and their two small children while losing track of time.

We helped clear the table and load the dishwasher. Mrs. Kendral teases, “Jill do you help in the kitchen like this when you’re at home?” She encouraged us to play with the children until she finished what she needed to do. She asks questions like how I felt wearing girl’s clothes and acting as Jill.

I kind of like it because she sincerely listens to me. Trudy also answers some questions and tells how she has seen me. I wasn’t going to tell Mrs. Kendral but Trudy said I had been kissed by more than one boy.

Trudy receives a message at 5:30 p.m.: Cousin Staci has invited her to go bowling. Trudy responds: “We need to change, we’ll need to be picked up at 6:30, but now, we need to be home at 8:30.” I’m taken home to stay, but Sara greets me with a change of clothes. “Mom and Dad have taken Nana out to dinner and then are taking her back to her home. You are to be home no later than 9:00 p.m.” Sara closes the door saying, “Have a goodtime.”

I check the outfit; it is one of hers a knit blouse and knee length skirt. She includes footies and a change of delicates. Staci picks us up shortly after we have changed at Trudy’s, sharing three boys will bowl with us. Since they are Staci’s friends Trudy assumes correctly they don’t know I’m a boy.

I’m matched with Brett. While he seems to be a nice guy; he likes to hold my hand or hold me around the waist. Come Brett’s first strike in the third frame, he gives me a kiss on my forehead. I respond, “Please don’t do that.” Trudy jests, “Then either give him a hug, or kiss him on the cheek.” I try to kill Trudy with my stare but she laughs if off.

We played two games and the guys play a third game. I see three people from my school leave the bowling alley at 8:00 p.m. I hoped they wouldn’t see me. Brett had atleast eight strikes by then. Brett and I won the second game. Brett gave me a kiss and hug to celebrate. The kiss got a bit involved as he gave a little tongue which I didn’t know how to fight off, despite thinking it was disgusting.

When we get back to Trudy’s, Sara and Mom are there. Mom hands me a bag with a thank you gift in it for Trudy. It is a blouse Trudy liked when we went shopping as well as gift card. Finally, we celebrated the journey as Jack and Jill with a cup of cocoa.

Once we are home, I get undressed and put on my regular boy’s underpants and pajamas. They now feel coarse against my skin and a bit irritating, but I’m determined to wear them. I go back downstairs asking Mom to help take my girl parts off. Dad and Mom smile when they see me, “We’re glad you remembered how to put them on,” jokes my father. “I want Mom’s help to take off my girl parts,” I angrily replied, upset they felt the need to say anything.

Mom says, “I think we should wait until tomorrow night. Remember some school board members will visit the school tomorrow before the meeting. They want to see how students respond to you as Melanie. One of the members asking you to do that is Nancy Parson. I’ve talked to her and I am sure she desires to be constructive about this.”

“Mom, I’m not a Native American or slave; I don’t want to die for someone else’s sins.”

“Well put son and we will back you, even if it means you need to change schools for a year,” my Dad says.

Mom suggests a warm bath to sleep better, she put in a little bubble bath oil. Instead of putting my pajamas back on I change to my nightgown. Mom asks why, when she comes to say goodnight.

“The pajamas aren’t soft, plus I don’t get to be a boy until tomorrow night.”

“You could easily be a boy tonight but that is your choice.”

‘Really, I don’t think so?’

One more morning getting up early, I brush out my hair and put it in a ponytail. I pick a fun dress. It has a print top and solid gold skirt that looks appropriate for fall. I go light on the makeup but highlight my eyelashes and eyebrows.

There are extra adults around the school today, thankfully only one looks like a bull dog, even when he smiles at me. Yuk! Every teacher is surprised to see me as Melanie. Even Sandy appears confused but she talks to me right away and spreads the message. Only a couple of handfuls of students are upset with me, I’m surprised half of them are girls. Sandy passes me a note, “In the dictionary under “’b*h’ It says see them and has their pictures.”

Ms Roberts gives me back my report on “Sense and Sensibility” A+; she whispers “I hope you rubbed off on Melvin.” Ms. Braun calls me into her office to tell me, “New arrangements would need to be made for PE if you continue as Melanie. There are lockers for special situations off of the instructors’ offices,” she says.

After lunch time, Deb and friends herd me into the girls’ restroom to take care of my needs. The need is mostly to wash up and freshen my makeup. I’m going to miss this. We are laughing as we come out. I see Ms. Parsons nearby but can only look away and giggle as I go to history class. I raise the question in class, “Shouldn’t our history be based on achievements, and conflicts within society, instead of wars and boundaries.” The teacher asked possible ways to look at the present, I cite bringing closure to US military presence in conflicts and the inability of Congress and the Administration to serve the country.”

The history teacher asks, “If that would be popular?” Sandy raises her hand, “That’s like the evening news being based on ratings. My dad says he hears and reads more real U.S. news when he travels to Europe on business.” The class has a very active and interesting discussion today.

When I get home Mom suggests “You should lie down and rest. Please make sure you undress and hang up the dress and slip properly. I hope tomorrow you remember how to treat your clothes this well.”

I pinned up my hair and surprisingly rest well. Sara comes in before five and we visit about tonight and the past week. “You know Mel, I am very proud of you. I was afraid you would embarrass me with your joking too much. I’m surprised how good you are at being a girl. It might be nice to have Mel back but I will miss Melanie.” She gives me a hug.

“Thanks Sis, I’m not sure I could have seen it through and appreciated different things without you. I’ve not been as nice a brother as you are a sister. Being my sister is a lot more work than I understood.”

Sara says, “I think you will like this dress for tonight. It should look even better when you are wearing it. If you want to present yourself as a young woman instead of a girl, I suggest you wear my two and half inch sandal heels.” Sara has me try the dress with a pair of flats and I see the difference. I look at Sara’s jewelry before I go downstairs. There is a gold and navy blue bracelet and necklace I think is nice, but I’ll need to check with Mom first.

Mom drives the four of us to the School Administration building and we find our way to the Board room. There are a dozen visitors along with us. Mom hands me a delicate hanky after we sit. I am tapped from behind and it’s Trudy and her mother. Eight of the nine school board members are present with four of them being women. There is the Superintendent, Principal Lawrence, a man Dad says is the school lawyer, a secretary and a treasurer present, and I’m not quite sure who is who.

The meeting is called to order, and though we are not going to be sworn in formally, we are asked at the beginning: “Do all present agree as you speak that you will be respectful and that what you say will be true?” I believe all responded saying “I will.”

It is after 7:00 p.m. before my situation is brought up. The Courier News article as well as the town newspaper, several radio broadcasts, Fox News and CNN and two comedy programs are mentioned. Principal Lawrence continues to speak. “The newspaper reporter confirmed for me that Melvin Greene issued a challenge stating ‘the school board’ would not take it up, about him presenting himself as a pregnant girl. Melvin told me even a two week time period would be too easy and too short of a time to learn from. When I asked him what might be a meaningful challenge? He responded, ‘My Aunt Marti is due to have her baby in February and if I could shadow in her footsteps that would make a meaningful report.’” He closed by saying, “Melvin agreed to cooperate with the school board and abide by your decision.”

I’m asked to step forward with my parents, Sara and Trudy want to be next to me but they are asked to wait. President Bennett asks, “Mr. Greene do you agree with what Mr. Lawrence has said?”

“I disagree with the reporter, she is the one who issued the challenge to which I said I didn’t think you the board would allow it. I did not mean anything derogatory toward the school board but that a public challenge like that is not wise.”

One Board member spoke up, “We agree that a public challenge like that is not wise, but along with the reporter several people confirm her story was what you said to her.”

I tell them, “I’m sorry about that but still respectfully disagree.”

“Do you acknowledge that you agreed to continue as Melanie Greene wearing the pregnancy harness with increasing weights through your Aunt’s pregnancy and until her new child is born?” I went white went white as a ghost and had to sit down.

“No, it was not my intention to continue as Melanie, but by shadowing my Aunt Marti: I meant to be with her as best as I could. She is special to me and I am sure she would not mind me being there to help as I could. I know there are personal times I would not be privilege to see.”

“Again Melvin, Mr. Lawrence, Ms. Braun on two occasions and at least one teacher heard you confirm the agreement as stated here. We are not so troubled by those statements, because you have behaved quite well during this time and have done even better in school than you usually do. You seem to enjoy the attention, especially the attention shown to you by the female students.”

Mr. Bennett asked, “How did you plan to wear the pregnancy harness as it expands without wearing women’s clothing for the pregnancy? I do not know of such clothing for a young man like you.”

Mel said, “I guess I did not think that through and can see how you might jump to the other conclusions.”

Nancy Parsons, “Mr. Greene do you understand what it means that we have worked hard to be a gender friendly school? Some students have taken to heart your experience this past week and have seen many of your actions to be very sensitive of them. Your reneging upon your challenge would be seen as self serving and a slap to them.”

She continues, “I would like to ask special privilege to speak to you and you parents for a few minutes. And then I would give the microphone to Mr. Henry upon our return.”

“Privilege granted, ten minutes be granted,” says Mr. Bennett.

Ms. Parsons waves us over, “Melanie, and Mr. and Mrs. Greene, I believe I come as your friend even though it may not seem like that right now. Circumstances had me picking up my daughter at a bowling alley last night where I believe I saw Melanie with a date and in fact hugging him; and then today after lunch I was near the girls’ bathroom and you as Melanie with several friends came out of that bathroom giggling as girls might.”

“Your actions seemed more appropriate for a T-girl which is not a disparaging thing. I know you deny being one and that is a decision and identity that only you can appropriately give yourself. Your Aunt Marti agrees that you two are close. She believes with her husband being gone in military service; you two could benefit each other quite well. It is my intention not to bring up this information about your date or very girl like behavior. But Mr. Henry will motion that we accept your challenge but leave it open through the end of the school year if you would find that helpful.”

I speak next, “Ms. Parsons, you are considered friends to our family and you know from my family that our word is important. I am not lying that I heard and understood things differently. I don’t want to do this; my dad even said I could change schools if need be. But if I will agree to it but I will need the support of some professional. Because I don’t think this will be easy on me.”

Finally I said, “You did not ask Trudy Brandt, about the time with the reporter or the incident last night. You are right there have been times as Melanie, I naturally acted like a regular girl and I have no explanation.” There’s a knock on the door and we’re to go back to the meeting. The school board officially accepts my challenge with a report qualifying as an independent study under the auspices of the Community College.

Sara, Mom and Dad surround Trudy and me with Aunt Marti walking over to us. Aunt Marti has a smirk that she is trying to hold back. Marti said, “You might be a bit disappointed but with Ronnie deployed overseas; I’m glad you will be with me. When one door closes another door opens.”

Mom asks, “Marti can go with us to your doctor tomorrow or Wednesday after school?”

Aunt Marti looks to me, “Melanie is there a day you don’t work?”

That’s nice Marti asks about me; “Thanks, but it is Thursday when I don’t work. I don’t know if Mom’s willing to wait that long?”

“You will have to adjust your schedule sometimes, like I am sensitive to you. I don’t think your mother won’t mind waiting one more day; since she’s going to have her daughter for another three to four months.”

We go home to get some privacy and to let things sink in. I am holding Sherri and Aunt Marti holds the baby. Marti is thinking of something but is being quiet until I ask, “You seem to have something on your mind?”

“I don’t know if I should, it is a little quick,” Marti said?

I ask, “Well, I might as well think about things I need to consider?”

Marti smiles in response, “Well I think it might be nice if you came to live with me. I will be going to Lamaze classes soon. I would like you to be there for me as well? You would only be a few blocks from school and your friend Sandy lives at this end of next block.”

The doorbell rings and it’s a pizza delivery. When we go back to the kitchen there is a bottle of pickles on the table. Mom said “Very funny everyone, but I don’t think this will apply to Melanie.”

Trudy eats and then leaves saying she will see me tomorrow at work. Trudy talked to Mom, Aunt Marti and Sara before she leaves. “I just wanted to assure everyone Jack won’t leave Jill holding all the responsibilities alone.” Everyone including me giggles.

I wake just before my alarm as the routine has set in. I shower shampooing and conditioning my hair. It is getting easier to brush out and keep its style. My makeup is light with the exception of setting my eyes off a little more. Sara says, “It is well within good taste.” I like the long sleeves on the mini-dress and thought while it is not tight it molds to your shape.

Down at breakfast, Mom and Sara both suggest I wear an outfit with a loose blouse and separate skirt. I like how I look, plus as a guy I am not into changing my clothes just because someone says so. I did go to Sara’s closet to find another pair of 2” heel shoes that will look good. Sara looks and finds a beige open toe shoe that goes nicely with what I am wearing.

I didn’t get all my homework done which is a bit disturbing. Melvin wouldn’t have been worried at all. Sara wants to get to school early.

Ms. Braun greets me soon after I am in school. “We should go to the nurse’s office to get things set up.” I can see she is also amused with my dress. “You are very attractive this morning Melanie.” There is a nurse from a clinic in town to help us get things started this morning.

I meet the nurse, “Hi, I’m Nurse Heidi, Melanie. I work at the clinic your Aunt Marti goes to and I’m to help set you up with your first baby bump. Unfortunately you will need to strip town to your panties and bra. I would have thought someone would have encouraged you to wear something else, though this is very pretty on you.”

In a small voice I admit, “They did, but I didn’t pay attention to my mom or sister.”

“Well it’s a good idea for us girls to listen to one another, but I guess that will be part of your learning,” she holds a giggle under her breath. Heidi, “I am going to just glue this very small bump on you. It should hold till next Monday when we start using a little more weight and maybe the pregnancy harness.”

I slip my dress back on and Heidi helps to zip it up. I give her a small hug as I say thanks. She wishes me a good day. It is all quick enough that I get to homeroom. Classmates are amused by my remaining as Melanie. They are told by the teacher, “Our new student will be addressed as Melanie Greene until her project is over.”

The changes will to include Gym switching me to a physical education class with girls and me using one of the private individual locker rooms. I have the choice of Senior Health for girls or Home Economics. I am planning on Home Economics, as senior girls say I won’t like what they would do to me if I take Senior Health. “No, it is not a threat; it is a promise,” so I’m told.

Practice in chorus goes well and Mr. Larkin is happy to have me through the winter holidays concert. He even plans a duet with me backing my sister for a holiday tune.

Sandy did not show any special interest in me until she asks me to sit during lunch with her friends. She asks me, “Are you willing to double date? Lisa in our class says she is willing if you would like to go out with a girl sometime. Trent a senior would like to ask you out but I am not sure where he is coming from. I am sure I can arrange other dates if I know you are interested. Or will you be going out only with Trudy?”

I’m interested in seeing Trudy at work tonight. I have text messages from Trudy and Mrs. Kendral about work. Trudy wants to know if I want a ride which I do. Ms. Kendral says, she is happy I cooperated with the school board, her note says, “Your employment in the bakery department should go well. If there are any problems at the store, I will be very supportive of you.”

Trudy is happy to see me but lets me know I am now a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. She does ask me to go to a dance with her and some other girls Friday after work. I am accepted as another one of the female employees at work. It is no longer special to others and I am not getting as much special attention.

Things go smoothly until Thursday afternoon and my visit to Dr. C. Adair at the University GYN-OB Clinic. Heidi welcomes me and takes me to an exam cubical and I change into a pink wrap. It is none too long nor designed for modesty. Once I have changed Aunt Marti is allowed back in with me.

Dr. Connie Adair is thirty-something and she has a nice disposition. She gives me an exam and wants to inject a tiny capsule under my skin. She says, “This will last two weeks and give you a mild experience many women have early term.” She truthfully says, “It is not necessarily a fun experience.” To her surprise I agree. She needs to talk to my mother to get her to sign with me.

Dr. Adair also asks, “Are you willing to move in and live with your Aunt Marti during the remainder of her pregnancy.” Besides an upcoming Lamaze class, the most important thing I am to do is just keep her company.

“Yes,” I also agree to help do half the wash, wash dishes and some house work.

Things go well come Friday morning both at school and work. It is different this time going to a dance with Trudy after the fall concert. Trudy and other girls dance with me as many of the guys are standing away from me. Two horny guys dance with me during the night and Trudy says, “It is no less gross for the average girl. There are two guys that cause me to feel differently. Jeff and I visit a little, he says, “I know you’re another guy, but I would be interested in taking you out sometime. I hope it will get me over the fear of dating girls.”

Morning finds me near the toilet as morning sickness has set in. If I could just stay close to this porcelain doll it would be better, instead, it just pushes back my moving to Marti’s until after lunch. When baby Suzie wakes, it is my first experience of Marti nursing her baby with me there. It is a beautiful sight but not in a traditional guy way of thinking.

The evening is simple: a Walt Disney movie for Sherri with popcorn. Marti nurses during the movie and I change Suzie’s diaper and put a sleeper on her for the night. Suzie will be a little over thirteen months when the next baby is born. Marti tells me, “Ron and I thought, it would be a safe time to have sex without birth control.” She tells me, “You can see we were wrong.” I want to say it is too much information for her nephew to know.

Before I go to sleep I get a text from Trudy, “If it is okay to call now please let me know or you call me please.” I call her to find out what is up. “Melanie, I don’t know how to tell you this; I’m a little afraid. I find I like you in a different way than before.”

I ask her, “I’m happy but not quite sure what you mean?”

She said, “I know, but please don’t laugh. You know we can usually talk about everything, this might be different.”

Assuming that she now likes me more as someone special I remark, “I love you too; I just hope it won’t get in the way of our friendship.” With a little more girl talk we say goodnight and it takes some time for me to get asleep.

Sunday, Marti takes me shopping; to my surprise most of it is clothing for me. Another surprise is my sleepwear is different as a younger woman helps pick it out instead of my mother. She tells me, “I can’t officially tell you but you might enjoy using some of my pre-natal vitamins.” I didn’t think I would but I did try one come Sunday night.

Sherry asks, “Unt-tie Melwannie, can you carry mwe?” I carry Sherri when I’m not pushing them both in the stroller.

When we get home I get to model everything for her, her mother and my mother. I get upset at Mom taking pictures but I am overruled. Come time to go to bed, I knock and go into Marti’s room as she has asked.

Marti is visibly pregnant but nowhere like she was last year at this time with Suzie. We sit on the edge of the bed talking. She had just visited with Ron via the computer. She’s missing him, but tells me how thankful she is that I am here. “I am talking to you more like a niece. While that might feel awkward, I greatly appreciate doing so. You and I have always been close; I think these past two weeks you have grown quite a bit.”

I tell her about my dancing with Jeff and his interest in dating me. She giggles at the thought, “I hope you won’t be surprised when the idea looks even more attractive to you.” She elaborates, “Being tucked away with a baby and a little girl, you will find it nice to go out with someone. You will probably even enjoy him showing you a nice time. Since you are living as Melanie; dancing with him and going on a date could be fun. Just remember this doesn’t commit you to anything and doesn’t mean you are gay or wanting to be a girl long term.”

Back in my room, I’m drifting to sleep, when my phone rings, it is Sara, “Hey Sis, Mom says you got some more girl clothes.” We drift into girl talk and it truly is a sister time. Our phone conversation ends after forty minutes only because Trudy and Sandy have called. I call Trudy back as I will see Sandy in school. It is midnight before we finish talking. “Have a happy third week Melanie.” I hear a kiss at the other end and I kiss back. “It is not one girl to another to me but I hear Trudy, “I love you Melanie.”

To be continued…

Aunt Marti wakes me at 6:00 a.m., “It’s time to get ready for school.” It is nicer to dress as Melanie an everyday girl instead of Jill, isn’t it? It is cool and windy so I wear the knit plaid skirt with lining and the beige sweater blouse, medium weight.

Sandy called, she will be over for you at 7:45. When I go to breakfast Aunt Marti encourages, “You are to make more friends than just Sandy and Deb. I don’t want you wearing your welcome out with them.”

“But Aunt Marti, I’ve gone to school over half of them as long as I can remember.”

“If they haven’t yet they will soon stop seeing you as Melvin whom they know and as a girl they don’t know. Plus you will be safer around town having other friends with you. Just trust me, as Melanie you need to make new friends.”

“Aunt Marti, you have to be kidding?” Just by looking at her I could tell she isn’t. I am at the breakfast table watching Sherri as her mom gets ready. I heard the door but did not realize Sandy was now behind me. “Melanie, you have a neat way with children for a girl… I meant a guy. May be that is why I didn’t usually notice you?” I give Sandy a stare. “I’m sorry Melanie, but most of us girls didn’t notice you that much before this.”

“A number of us girls find it cute to have you as a girlfriend. We especially like that you won’t be back to boy mode any time soon. You will have some company from time to time with other guys if we get our way,” Sandy looks very mischievous at this moment.

Since we’re only a few blocks away from school we walked today. Sandy asks me to hug my books in front of me and to stare off. “That is a girl with her heart thinking of someone or somewhere else. Now twirl as a girl does it and tell me what’s happening?”

“You mean like …I just talked to Trudy and she asked me to the prom.”

“Very good Melanie, so tell me, are you and Trudy doing this intentionally?”

“No, but I don’t mind so much because she is noticing me more plus I have you as a friend now. I don’t think we would be walking together as friends if I were Melvin right now. I think Kenny would be kicking my butt.” She giggles at the thought of Kenny beating up a boy in a girl’s outfit.

We join Deb, Sharon and other girls talking in a group at the school. Some girls go off as their boyfriend get to school, some boys come to say hello. The boys don’t stay and many of the girls don’t stay away. Sandy is following at least three conversations and I’m having trouble concentrating on one. “You’ll get better at it, just relax,” says Sandy. ‘How did she know?’ “I can sense your girl brain trying…” The doors are unlocked and there is still time till classes start.

I’m taken by Sandy into the girl’s room; several girls are changing into clothes they couldn’t leave home wearing. It is a moment before I realize Deb is unzipping my skirt and it falls to the floor. “Step out of it and then step into this one.” Sandy and Sharon are standing in front of me to block the view of most. Deb and I are bringing up the new skirt. It is hugging my upper legs. And when I look there is less to see.

Deb smirks, “Okay it is three inches shorter than your skirt but it shouldn’t gross you out or make you uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, what other boy do you know would be comfortable in this skirt?”

“You’re not any other boy and you have had two weeks of girl therapy already, get use to it.” We check makeup and hair and are soon out of there. The group gives me orders to ditch Mel and just be Melanie. It is 10:30 a.m. before I am called to the nurse’s office.

“You are lucky at this point your embryo is about the size of a small marshmallow and the weight you pick up is soft tissue; it is more like the water build up during your period.”

I respond, “I wouldn’t know about that.” There are no small straps around me holding it in place abd everything is unnoticeable under my outfit.

Come lunchtime, I go to my locker to change books for the stuff I’ll need in the afternoon. I open it to find a disc wrapped in a note. “I suggest you take one pill every day or every other day. My mom says it may help you feel a little girly but not too much. Enjoy the experience of being one of us.” I quickly look around and stash the disc into my purse, where I stare at them. Sandy taps me on the shoulder which brings me back to school. I look to see if anyone else is watching; wondering who put them in there.

“What’s got your attention,” she asks? I stuff the disc further down in my purse and go to our first class of the afternoon. Ms. Cheryl Robbins starts the other girls on their sewing projects and then gives me a quiz on various measurements and terms. She giggles informing me that I am probably at junior high girl level. She takes my measurements for making a blouse. “Please tell your mother we need a size eight blouse pattern but that she needs to get a special pattern for a pregnant girl.”

She then gives me a hoop and lets me choose a cross-stitch pattern. The rest of class have done this in the past, I have to practice the three stitches for the picture I chose. I am nervous as the other girls think I should be able to stitch and talk at the same time. Cheryl taps me at the end of class, “Young lady, don’t worry two thirds of the girls never tried before this class either.” She names one guy she says was a big football player who did cross-stitching.” I suspect this Rosey Grier guy must have been an antique since I never heard of him. The internet confirms, he is now eighty years old.

Come the last class of the day, I receive a message from the office: I am now on the Cheer Club and it meets today after school. This stinks as I will have to hurry home and take a quick shower and change to be to work on-time. My friend Jack suggests I can just go to work from school. I’m not sure if it’s just being Melanie, but I don’t feel comfortable with that.

Club members were asked to warm up with the cheerleaders, and without thinking my warm-up exposes me big time. Sharon gets everyone laughing as she realizes I am not thinking as I expose my panties a little. I want to run to the locker room to hide but I am reminded it is not my locker room. Sharon gives me a hug as she apologizes and the cheerleaders surround us to comfort me. I speak, “Damn, I should be the strong one here!”

Kathy the head cheerleader says, “You are being plenty strong Melanie, but here you are not alone. Please next time don’t try to run. We really appreciate you are here and that you try hard to be one of us.” She asks me to show up for practice tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. to begin learning routines and what it means to be part of the Cheer Team. Honestly, I hadn’t thought of the cheerleaders as a team.

I scamper home after that and quickly take a shower. I forgot to lock the door and Sherri is now sitting on the toilet talking to me. “Unttie Melwanie can yu wead a story to me?” I coax her out of the bathroom so I can dry myself when I am ready. I feel terrible inside as Sherri cries when I tell her I need to get to work and can’t read to her.

Tonight at work for my first time, I volunteer to go home early because we are not very busy. I am home by eight o’clock and Aunt Marti says I am in time to read. I take Sherri’s Alphabet book and one about a princess. I sit on Sherri’s bed and she is on my lap. We see a policeman for P and it reminds Sherri of her Daddy in his uniform. “Melwanie do polwiceman have to we’ve there little girls too?” I don’t have any words to say I just hug her in my arms. “Your Daddy loves you very much, Sherri.”

Marti comes into the room thinking she will see me reading to Sherri. I just hold open the book and when she sees the picture of the policeman she shakes her head in understanding. I want to read the other story but just rock her back and forth. Instead of getting to read more Marti and I get to put her to bed.

I need to get some homework done but Marti asks me come to her room. She just wants girl talk to keep her sanity she says. She asks if it is alright to brush my hair as we talk. She says her Mom and my Mom would do it for her when she was growing up. I didn’t know something this simple could feel so good. I think part of it is just having someone who cares about you.

Marti is telling me what more I could do with my hair if I have extensions put into my hair. “You won’t want to wait until you look real pregnant then the boys won’t want to be seen with you.”

I giggle, “Like the fact I look pregnant is what a boy will worry about in dating me.”

I turn toward Marti and she has tears in her eyes. I realize her brushing my hair is therapy for both of us. “I was on the computer with Ron and he needed to tell me he was okay. I don’t know how serious things were but he paused when I asked if there were any explosions or bullets nearby. He paused long enough to say ‘No’ I know he needed to think about what he should say to me.”

Finally she changes the subject and we get back to lighter girl talk. “So what do you think about Trudy’s interest in you. Trudy seems happy about you continuing your role as Jill? ”

“Aunt Marti, you’re teasing me; how can a girl get serious about a boy in a dress? She says her feelings have change and she loves me. I think it is now more like a sister, but I guess that is neat. I asked her for a date last spring and she said it would be like dating her brother. Atleast, as a girl we are back to being friends, now best friends.”

“Hmm, the way she, Sandy and other girls look at you and preen your hair and clothes; it looks like Trudy’s fussing over you because she is very fond of you. You know maybe while you are Melanie, Jan, Trudy and Jeff are going to be attracted to you?”

“You mean as Melanie, I know Jan is that’s how she’s wired, maybe even Jeff. While I am willing to dance with Jeff, he’s not one I would be interested as a guy. As me, I’m attracted to both Jan and Trude, but as one thankful to have his male parts, if you know... Aunt Marti aren’t you grossed out by how we’re talking?”

She takes my two hands and I’m looking into her smiling face, “I see this as a wonderfully honest time; it reminds me of when I imagined more and my girl juices would become warm and damp in the excitement. So ‘no’, you stepped into a dream and I find me walking in it with you. This is neat and exciting to me; the evening news now that is gross.”

Strangely Marti makes sense to me and I am again seeing her for being twenty-four and more like my older sister than a parent like my mother.

I hear my phone and go racing for it in my room; it is Trudy. “Hi Trudy how are you?”

“No, I wasn’t avoiding you at work… No, I got a chance to come home early and read a story to Sherri… Yes I heard you say you love me, but you already know I love you too. I didn’t see it as new… I work again Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Sure I was hoping you and I would go out with the others after work or Saturday… But that would be more like a date. Yes, I would be thrilled to be on a date with just you, but you don’t need to pay my way. Yes, I know you usually get your way… You know I will need to check with my Mom and Marti. Well I will atleast check with Aunt Marti; seemingly she thought you like me. I will tell you more Wednesday at work.” The call goes on another twenty minutes before I need end it to get some homework done.

I studied an hour and a half, showered and was ready for bed when Aunt Marti comes in. “So are you doing alright?”

“You’re right she wants to date me as Melanie. Somehow the idea is attractive, but I kind of feel guilty.”

Marti gives me a hug, “Just try to be you and don’t fill you head with worries, especially of right and wrong. You and Trudy haven’t changed; you are just seeing life differently. I think that is okay. I know you prayed that Trudy would love you and that you love her. Only the wrapping outside on you has changed a little bit. Consider God may have answered your prayer.”

“Why don’t we pray about things; you can pray for Ron and me; and I will pray for Trudy and you?” I like the idea of being honest with God as well as Marti. Marti sniffs near the bed after our prayer as she is ready to leave. “That must be me, I thought for a moment may be your female juices were warm and damp.” She smirks knowing she just toyed with my head. I did wish it were true. I even sniffed but I’m not sure if I would know the smell if it was there.

I am on my way to school early to arrive by 7:00 a.m. Sharon and Kathy are ready to take me through three routines. I remember they have well over a twenty routines but they tell me three is the most I should try learning at one time. I have a pair of sweat-shorts and a baggy shirt to wear. Running in place, moving my arms and hands in different directions while saying things suddenly is a lot harder than it appears. I, not Kathy or Sharon is the first to get impatient with me. As the other girls show up, I know I am nothing like those two, but girls are saying how well I am doing. I get angry and call them liars and Kathy quickly jumps on me. “If you want to get thrown off the Spirit Club, calling another cheerleader a liar is the way to do it!”

“But they’re saying I’m doing well when I am lousy.” Kathy looks directly in my face, “And which of you is likely to know what they’re talking about. Staci and Bri have both cheered since they were eight or younger. In case your head is too thick, they are the ones’ who know.”

“I could have started you with routines you practiced with your sister Sara.” I was surprised Kathy even knew about that; I’m even more surprised she remembered. “Your sister I, were a lot closer then. I am hoping before winter break and you are great with child,” she giggles, “I hope you will do a few routines during the basketball games.”

Coach Robbins tells me to go shower and get ready for classes, “You will need more time than the rest of the girls.” I thought I would be tired, but I feel invigorated. I took one of the pills I found yesterday, well I really took two but I hadn’t taken any before and I don’t plan to take two every day.

Ms Robins says, “You’re Mom says she will drop off the pattern sometime during school along with two pieces of fabric to choose from. So please stop by when you have study hall this afternoon. I would like to show you how to get started on your blouse.”

I get a text from Sandy during the last class, “Let’s window shop after school.” The idea is great but I needed to go home first. It becomes my first day of having responsibility for Sherri and Suzy. It is okay if Sandy came over, but my time will be filled. Sandy has babysat for Marti and Ron a few times with Sherri. She comes over for an hour and plays with Sherri. While I bathe, change, feed and have to change Suzy again.

Sandy also helps teach me how to wash the Suzy and Sherri’s clothes as well as the delicates for Marti and me. It is embarrassing having a girl teach me how to hand wash delicates for me. Come 5:00 Sandy is bored so I encourage her to go home. Suzy is lying on a baby blanket and I am reading to Sherri, when Marti and one of her girl friends, Marie, return from shopping.

I recognize Marie as one of my brother’s (S*#!) old girlfriends. My brother Rog is five years older than Sara and plus two more than me and he is in the navy. He’s one of those guys who has had so many girlfriends. Marie smiles, “So you’re Roger’s little brother,” she snickers, “I can’t say you look like the little boy I knew. Knowing Rog, I agree with Marti this will help you be more sensitive around girls. Though, most of us didn’t complain when we dated him, nor would I probably have appreciated dating him if he looked as cute as a girl.”

“Thanks, I think; I remember you too. I was upset when my brother stopped dating you; you were nicer to Sara and me than some of his girlfriends.”

“So what does your brother think of having another sister for a while?”

“Until I saw you, I forgot about him. Mom sent him a letter, but said she wouldn’t send any information via G-mail or FB. Since my time as Melanie has been extended, I’ve started new internet accounts and haven’t even talked to him.”

“You don’t really remember me do you,” Marie asks? “Like what do you remember?”

“I do too. You gave Sara lessons with makeup and doing her nails. You told our Mom, Sara looked like Mom’s friends. It took another comment before Mom realized that wasn’t a compliment.” Marie and Marti both giggle and then lose control of their laughter.

“If you want a lesson with makeup or doing your hair I could come back.” Marie excuses herself to fix her makeup and Marti asks, “So would you like Marie to give you a makeup lesson or two?”

“Aunt Marti, I would be too embarrassed to ask her.”

Marti smirks, “So I take that as a Yes!”

Marie comes back from the bathroom laughing even happier. “So Marti when did you teach your niece to wash your delicates?” I am so embarrassed and turning a deep red. Marti looks at me and smirks again. She takes my hand and pulls me behind her. Once she sees delicates drying over her bathtub she asks how?

I explain about washing Sherri and Suzy’s clothes as she asked, and about Sandy showing me how to do our delicates. I am embarrassed to tears when Marti gives me a hug and Marie joins her. “You truly are a dear Mel.” Marti has called me ‘Mel’ for the first time as a girl.

“Marie would you do us a favor and stay for dinner, you are even invited to stay the night if you don’t mind sleeping in with me.” Marie smiles and looks to me to make sure it is okay with me as well. “Melanie why don’t you go get some homework done as well as talking to your girl friends.”

Marti whispered something to Marie, and she in response turns to me, “Oh, I would be happy to if Melanie is interested in a lesson or two?”

“I am sure she will, but I am glad she’s cooperating and doing her lessons. So, if you can help me with dinner, then later Melanie can take some time with you.”

“It is something else that Mel is so naturally a girl; he had a way I liked before but I can’t really say I saw him as a girl or overly feminine. What do you think changed?”

Marti smiles, “I’m not sure anyone really knows but her Mom said, ‘Once Melvin just relaxed into being Jill for Halloween, Melanie just surfaced and became comfortable. No one, Trudy, Sara or my sister ever pressured him, they just encouraged her to be comfortable in the experience, and something changed.’”

“His Mom and Dad were kind of worried; they’ve met with a counselor who has encouraged them to be supportive in seeing Mel through this.”

“But what if he/she really is Melanie?”

“I think they and a few others of us will make sure the experience is not all roses. I think unless Melanie is for real this won’t be more than a memorable experience. The funny part to me is that a few other guys are in for a similar experience via their girlfriends liking how it had impacted Melvin.”

I am in my room trying to stay focused on my homework. I like school more, and where music and the phone would totally distract me before, I can use them and stay on task now. Trudy laughs that my brother’s old girlfriend is here and even more that I am now worried about what my brother is going to think about his new sister, my being a girl for a while?

It is 6:30 p.m. when I get called for dinner, and it is already natural for me to make sure Suzy’s diaper is checked. “Yuck, Marti must have fed her because she’s messed big time. I hate the smell of a dirty diaper and now just before we’re going to eat.”

With Marti and Marie giving the girls attention, I find I am watching them. I always thought Marie was beautiful and Marti is special, but it’s like I am looking in a teen magazine. ‘I notice their hair, makeup and mannerisms and finding I want to be like them.’ “Why are you staring at us Melanie?” It’s Marie, she’s noticed me.

“I’m not…” is my startled reply as I can’t even complete a thought. Marti’s hand cups over mine. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid… please don’t mind me.” They’re not being mean, but they are teaming up to comfort me. “Why do girls need to be nice, when someone feels…”

“Because you’re not being stupid, your thoughts and feelings are okay,” Marie’s voice is gentle, she really cares. “Now please share, just think of yourself as our little sister and tell us what was going through that pretty head of yours?”

“That is just it, I feel too much like your little sister. When I see your short skirt or how beautiful you two are; I’m not thinking like a guy. I’m not imagining something gross. I know what’s under the skirt and I want to be like you. I am excited about knowing how to do makeup better.”

Marti takes me to my room and I am wondering if I am in trouble. “Mel, if you want I can call your parents and this can all be over tonight if you wish. If feeling like a girl is too much for you; I’m afraid there is more to come. I won’t knowingly do anything to hurt you. But you are right those are natural thoughts and feelings for Melanie. I’m sorry but I am wanting more and more to call Melanie, Mel but as a girl and not as a boy.”

I smile as I would like her to call me Mel as well as Melanie. “Don’t worry I like Mel as Melanie and being your niece and Sherry calling me an ‘Untie Melwanie’. I hope you and Marie won’t tell on me.”

To be continued…

Marie stays at Marti’s and together they have fun teaching and watching Melanie learn to do her makeup and hair better. Brushing and fussing with Melanie’s hair is bringing out a sheen and waves that were missing for Melvin. The first time Melanie raises her arms to help fix her hair brings a shocked look and then laughter from Marti.

“Melanie, I thought you were shaving your underarms?”

“I didn’t think I had too with colder weather who is going to see?”

“Gross, I know a few girls agree with you, but while you’re here I want you to keep your legs and underarms properly clean of hair stubbles do you understand? You are going to have the regular concerns of a girl with a healthy concern with your appearance.”

Marti takes this opportunity to shave my underarms. And when she checks my legs, there is a decision to wax the upper portion. I don’t have a clue what I am in for.

We finish the makeup lessons and I am getting ready for bed. When Marti says, “I want to help you put on a gaff.” I am in shock because I’m told it looks like a vagina, “It will even allow you to go to pee in the bathroom like a girl.” That is more than I want to know. Marti says, “They didn’t have the regular gaff, this one has a feature the other does not. You can even take a boy into this gaff if you were to have sex.” That is way too much information for me to contemplate. Luckily for Marti, the gaff is already stuck on and I will have to wait to get it off. It makes me all the more a girl as Marie helps me to finish getting ready for the day.

I am lying down as Marti spreads on the wax for the hair on my upper legs. It is very warm and has a pleasing aromatic fragrance. While it is unnerving to have Marie around, she says she is used to what she’s seeing. On the count of three Marti and Marie, each pulls the wax from the leg nearest each of them. It stings like little pins and needles being pulled out of me. Marie says, “You’re handling the first time better than most girls.”

I prematurely say, “It’s because I grew up a boy.” Aunt Marti says as she pulls, “this area for me is more sensitive.” This time the stinging is noticeably worse. Marie pulls her side more slowly and my eyes begin to water. Marie guides my hand to the area where the wax is off, “Now how does that feel?”

I shake my head up and down and Marie says, “You should try a good pair of silk or satin panties and silk stockings now.” I smile, ‘not caring what the difference would feel like.’ When they were done they spread a soothing lotion on my legs.

Marti asked, “Don’t you and your sister sing in the girls’ chorus this Friday? I’ll see if I can get a pair of breastforms for your bra by then; then the other girls will have a reason to ask why you are smiling so much.”

Now for the first time since the instructor talked about me singing this Friday, I am actually nervous about it. I enjoy rehearsing with my sister but wasn’t at all excited about the performance. “Aunt Marti, are you and Sherri coming to hear my sister sing?” She says, “I thought you are singing with her?”

“I am but she’s the one worth hearing,” I giggle with honesty.

“Unless Mr. Hurd has changed, he thinks you have a very nice voice. And unless you change he isn’t seeking to woo Melvin into the choir any time soon.”

After that Marie rolls my hair in some soft curlers for me to sleep with.

“Come morning, it is Marie with Marti waking me; she wants to make sure I use a shower cap for my morning shower. I get two calls, one’s from Trudy, “Remember, after your concert Friday we have a date.” We visit for a while but we’re both distracted trying to get ourselves ready for school.

No sooner I am off the phone and I see a text to call Sara back; I call, “Hey Sis what is up?”

Sara giggles, “The first is as your dating service; Derrick wants to go out with you after Friday’s program. I told him that is taken so he put first dibs in for Saturday. I told him that would work as far as I knew. He’s going to ask you at school. Secondly, if you still have study hall third period, I want you to come to the vocal room so we can rehearse before chorus this afternoon.”

“Kathy called me and says you are even practicing with the cheerleaders. Nice going little sister, even I couldn’t keep up that schedule girl.” I say thanks and she tells me we are both getting a little mushy and way too much enjoyment out of being sisters.

When Marti isn’t looking I pop two more of the pills along with a breakfast drink. Marie asks, “Melanie what did you take with your drink?” I wasn’t looking at Marie and quickly go into denial mode. “I wasn’t taking anything it’s just I’m afraid a cough is coming on.” My phone rings and Sandy asks for me to hurry if we’re walking together. I wasn’t planning on it but it does give me a chance to get away without more conversation.

“Bye, bye Sherri,” I throw her a kiss and grab my books and purse to head out the door. “Unt Melwannie,” Sherri runs with her hands out to be lifted and hugged. “Smooch,” I leave a lipstick kiss on her cheek.

By the time I am out the door, Sandy calls down the block, “Watch it, there’s some ice… this morning!” However she’s too late, and I am not sure if those riding by saw a show or not. It hurt my pride as well as my backside.” If I didn’t want to talk to Aunt Marti I would have turned around.

Sandy enjoyed too much the wiping off the back of my skirt when I got up to her. There was a little freezing rain last night covered by frost this morning. Melanie’s shoes don’t have the same soles as Melvin’s does. But within the two blocks to school I manage to slide two more times on purpose without falling.

Derrick comes over just before Sandy and I reach Deb, Sharon and the other girls in our group. “Melanie, did you speak to your sister last night?”

“She did, I am flattered but I’m still a… still a…” No, I didn’t get cut off or forget what I wanted to say; it’s just that I am not sure what to say. I get tears coming to my eyes and I hurry to grab the Kleenex in my purse. Luckily I do a light dab at the corner of my eye, no damage to my makeup. Sandy sees me and gruffly asks “Derrick, what did you say to her?”

I grab Sandy and whisper, “It was me. He was nice enough to ask me for a date on Saturday. I tried to tell him I’m not a girl, but I couldn’t. It’s crazy but I would like to know what it is like to date a boy.” Sandy has this huge smile like she swallowed a canary. “Oh,” she pauses, “That should be cute. Do you want to double with Kenny and me?” I can’t believe she is suggesting it.

Derrick is trying to apologize as we begin to go into the school. Sandy turns to him, “Don’t apologize, just give her a class or two to decide. I think it will be yes.”

I look at Sandy, “You shouldn’t have told him that, now it will be harder to say no.”

Sandy bumps me with her hip, “I’m glad because you didn’t say no. All you need to do is decide if you want to just go on a date with him alone or on a double date.”

I say, “Thanks, thanks for nothing; I thought you’re my friend.”

Sara taps me as she comes back to my locker, “You must have said yes because Derrick’s bouncing down the hall with a big grin.”

Sandy speaks up, “Your sister got all emotional and was ready to cry. She tried to say ‘No’ twice and couldn’t.”

I told them, “It wasn’t quite like that but she’s right, I didn’t turn him down. Because somehow I thought it would be neat to see what it is like to go on a date.” Sara is really puzzled; not knowing if she should be happy or concerned.

Sara says, “Well, I guess I was hoping it would happen; I’ve even thought of encouraging you too, but I don’t want you hurt.” I look at Sara, and I know deep in my heart, I have a sister who is being sweet and sensitive to me.

Sara looks at the back of my skirt, “What, did you slip and fall this morning?” It breaks the ice, and we all giggle. “Get your books and get to class. We can talk third period when you come to rehearse with me.”

I have my things and walk with Sandy to her locker. Once we begin to walk to homeroom I turn into the girl’s room, needing to check my makeup and hair. As I lay my purse down and take out my lipstick and brush; Sandy speaks up, “You remember you’re not to be in here?” I catch myself and wonder what I should do; Sandy says “You’re here now, do it and let’s get going.” Two other girls laugh as we walk out and no one is upset.

I am glad when third-period classes begin and I am quickly to the vocal room. Mr. Hurd sends us to the auditorium with a boom box to rehearse. It is our plan to sing our duet at least three times. I did not notice as we sang through the song the second time that Sara’s friend Dawn Michaels is in the back listening.

“You two are very good together with the exception that you both sound week. Sara, I know your voice is much stronger; I suspect you are holding back not to drown out your sis… sister. Melanie, you need to sing as well as you can and not hold your sister back.” The third and fourth time through the song and Sara has a place in the song where she is singing as my back-up. She comes and gives me a hug as we finish the song the last time. Dawn acknowledges we were singing much better.

During lunch Sandy asks how rehearsal went with Sara; I begin to tell her with a cheerful voice but worry someone will think I like being Melanie. “It is okay Melanie, I enjoy singing with my sister as well.”

“Yes but we’re not sisters. We’re really a sister and brother.”

“You are Mel for four months you are living as a girl. If I were you, I would enjoy singing with my sister.” I hear what she’s saying, but it is not people like her that I am worried about. The next thing I see is Sandy attacking me with a lipstick.

“What are you doing, are you crazy?” I caught her hand just in time, but she is not letting up.

One teacher asks, “What’s the problem here?”

Sandy joyfully speaks up, “I want to write ‘girl’ on her face. She’s afraid others will find out she’s a boy dressed as a girl.” Two other girls giggle nearby.

Ms. Simmons replies, “Well I think it would be a rare student that doesn’t know that. The only surprising thing is how well she is doing it.”

“Melanie, Sandy has been one of your best advocates for acceptance; I hope you aren’t pushing her away with a plan to cause problems. If you need someone to talk with I can give you a pass to see Ms. Braun or you can talk to a teacher like me. I know I would be very willing to listen.”

Ms. Simmons must have seen my response because she soon asks, “Sandy please go back to what you are doing.” “Melanie, you come with me for a minute please.” I’ve had Ms. Simmons for two subjects before so I’m sure by her voice that I am not in trouble.

She asks, “So Melanie, what is your problem?”

“Ms. Simmons, I like you as a teacher, but this is different. You would laugh or think I’m crazy for… No, I can’t tell you, I’m sorry it’s not you but me,” I tell her.

Ms. Simmons says, “Melanie, this is just a guess. Are you afraid because you like being a girl, wearing their clothes?” I’m startled, ‘How does she know?’ I’m ready to cry, but I’m fighting it.

“Melanie, come with me please.” We go to her classroom, “I won’t be having a class the next period, so we can talk if you would like or I can give you the pass to see Ms. Braun.”

I begin to talk, “Why did you ask if I’m afraid I might like being a girl wearing their clothes? Am I looking like a sissy?”

She asks, “You think girls look like sissies?”

I say, “No, they look like they are supposed to, but a boy trying to look like a girl is called a sissy.”

“Pardon me, Melanie,” Ms. Simmons smiles, “You shouldn’t call people names, but I expect there might be a few that call you a Sissy, but they’re ‘Jerks’.” I can’t help but giggle. “This might upset you, but you look like a normal girl and not a boy just in a dress. I know you enough to say you actually look happier as Melanie that is why I am asking?”

I ask her, “What if I told you, I am happier?”

“If it were me, it would be a relief that someone I could trust knew.” She pauses, “I’m honored you would trust me that much.” I have some tissues that I use to dab the corner of my eyes.

I say, “You’re right, it is a relief and I do trust you. I didn’t plan things to happen like this. It wasn’t even my idea. But I kind of like it happened. Tomorrow I get to sing with my sister; Melanie has a nice enough voice to do that. A boy looking up to her sister as a role model usually draws laughs but it is true.”

We talk for a while and I am ready to go back to class but need to fix my appearance. Ms. Simmons says, “You are becoming quite proficient with your makeup and getting better with your hair.” I look to her and offer her my hairbrush. She takes the brush and helps me, “It takes some experience and a good mirror to touch up one’s own hair, especially in the back. Now get going and remember to come back now and then.” She gave me a note for missing most of my next class.

Sandy and Aunt Marti both notice I am happier and more relaxed but I’m not telling them about my talk with Teacher Simmons. I have to get work and Trudy is glad when she sees me, “Melanie, you are… I’m not sure but you’re happier.” She pulls me in the women’s restroom off the break room. “So tell me what has happened?”

“It’s good but can we visit after work,” I ask her? We agreed to go out for a short time before going home. We agree it is not a date just us being best friends.

A mom comes through getting groceries with two small girls in dance outfits. I recognize Sadie the oldest of the two girls. Her mom whispers in her ear and then Sadie speaks up, “Melanie, I know you, you’re my neighbor. Can you come and see me and sister in our program come Saturday?”

I ask if she will come to our concert, her mom reminds me we sing at the elementary school tomorrow during school, before the concert. “I don’t think they want young kids in the concerts disrupting your performance.”

“I would be babysitting my aunt’s little girl so you probably don’t want us there either?” The Mom smiles as she hands me two tickets, “We really don’t mind, so I will expect to see you there.” They are surprised when I lift Sadie. “Sadie, you are so pretty in your outfit.” I twirl her around and set her back down.

When I set her back on the floor, I hear behind me, “Well, I see you have learned how to kneel down in a skirt.” I stand up and see Mrs. Walton. I turnaround, smile, and curtsy to her. Once again she is taking a picture.

“Can you take a picture with me and Sadie and maybe her sister?” She agrees and the girls are happier than I am. I introduce Sadie’s mom, “Mrs. Walton this is Ms. Morrow and her two pretty daughters, hopefully, you can email a picture to her as well as my Mom.”

Once work is over Trudy is already waiting for me and we ride up to a pizza place on the highway. “So what has you happier than usual,” Trudy asks?

I tell her about Sandy’s attempt to paint my face and Ms. Simmons. “I was afraid I was in more trouble, instead I tried talking to her. She asked, if I was afraid because I like being a girl or wearing women’s clothing. Instead of being shocked she guessed I was relieved.”

“O my Melanie!” Trudy’s eyes open wide. “What did I do? I didn’t intend to change you.”

I retorted, “So you think I’m sick for liking it now?”

“No, I just feel bad because I find I like you even more as a girl. Look at me I wasn’t attracted to girls before, but that changed with you.”

I asked, “Trudy, you changed after work before we came here. Did you do that just to impress me?”

“Yes and I’m sure Melvin wouldn’t have noticed,” she said. She’s right, I didn’t notice before when a girl changed outfits or redid her makeup with different colors or that she did different at night.

I ask, “Does noticing make me a girl?”

Trudy giggles, “A little more so, I think; I hope that being a girl is not bad?”

When I get back to Aunt Marti’s the long dress I am to wear for chorus and singing with Sara is there. I have worn a fairly long skirt, but this is a dress and it is so long that it requires me to wear heels. I hurry to find the slip for it and after the slip is on I ask Aunt Marti to help me put on the dress. I can’t help but notice for as long as it is. I’m happy that it is pretty and once zipped will hug my body but allow good movement. Marti has the back undone as she puts it over my head and my hands find their way through the sleeves. There is a shiver going through my arms resulting in Goosebumps. As it slides down my front and back, I glory in how it feels like a beautiful shower of water running down my body.

Marti zips up the back and hooks the clasp at top as I step into a pair of heels. Luckily, Marti, has me holding my bedpost to keep my balance until it is on and I’m comfortable in the heels. The heels are three inches high, Marti says, “I am surprised you and your sister wear the same shoes. Now come out to the living room and sit down and talk to me?”

I say, “I don’t want to sit down, I am afraid to sit wearing this dress.”

Sara says, “That is the very reason you need to do it. You will have a minimum of three changes tomorrow. Come concert time before and after; you are going to need to sit when you get a chance. Wearing a long dress, changing and walking up and down on the chorus risers will be your biggest challenge so far.”

I start to walk out into the living room. “Melanie don’t think about it so much just do it.” Instead of looking down I look to the chair I plan to sit in. “You might do better sitting in the hardback chair, you won’t sink down.”

It isn’t too hard as it ran my hands down the back of the skirt, it helped me to slow down when I sat. Marti puts a napkin in my lap and hands me a cup of hot tea. “You did very well young lady; I hope you are pleased with yourself. Come January you won’t be able to wear a beautiful gown like this.”

“Why won’t I be able to do it in January?”

“Have you already forgotten you are pregnant?” In fact, I had and what Marti’s doing a reality check. She has to remind me to sit up twice as we’re talking.

I sense some tension as Marti speaks, “I hope Marie didn’t really see you taking anything. I know I suggested taking something could help you feel more like a girl, but I wouldn’t want to have to explain that to anyone, especially if it gets back to my sister, your mother. I don’t think it will hurt anything as long you’re not overdoing anything.”

“I’m not Aunt Marti and I hear what you are saying.” Just as a precaution if they were to be taken away I take another pill tonight. I know they won’t really change me but it helps me to dream. I have pleasant dreams, wake up early with a smile and get ready for school including the long skirt and blouse for our performance over at Lincoln Elementary School. I eat a breakfast of yogurt and fruit before putting on my blouse and finishing my makeup and hair. Thankfully no cheer practice for me today.

The phone rings and it is Sara, she has the car and is giving Sandy and me a ride to school.

“Woe, L’tle Sis, you are getting prettier each time I see you. You are getting better about dressing and looking like another girl.”

“Thank you, I think.”

Sara confirms, “Yes it’s a compliment.”

Sandy comes out and gets into the car and I’m feeling jealous about how nice she looks. I move to put on more makeup, but Sandy speaks up, “That would be a mistake, it won’t make you look any prettier, it does the opposite.” I look over to Sara and she has a little smile and shakes her head in a way that indicates Sandy is right. I put away my lipstick and we are already parking at school.

John from work sees me at school and asks, “Aren’t you getting too serious about this?”

Sandy speaks up, “No, it is just what she/he needs to do for our concert and to sing at the elementary school after lunch.” Sara adds, “And she’s singing with her big sister and I want her to look like a regular girl so butt out.”

The concert at the elementary school is like a dress rehearsal for tonight. I am glad we have three songs for me to relax and regain my voice. Sara turns and pointing ever so slightly she whispers, “Sing to Sadie.” I do so and it adds to the feeling and energy that had been missing according to Mr. Hurd. After the concert, Ms. Morrow brings Sadie to me asking “Did you sing to Sadie like my Sadie is saying? You sang so well.” I wasn’t hearing as much as I was leaning down to pick up Sadie and give her a big hug and kiss.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turn apologizing to Ms. Morrow to see my Mother leaning to give me a big hug. “Way to go, young lady, I am pleasantly surprised by how well you sing.”

Sadie speaks, “She sang to me. I want to be like her.” Mom and I giggle then each gives her a kiss on the cheek.

I go home with Mom and Sara; Marti brings over my dress. Even more important to me is Suzy is with her. “I sure hope Suzy is going to our program tonight.”

Marti, “I wanted to ask if that would be alright with you two.” Sara suggests they sit closer to the front.

Sara says to me, “You will eventually need to sing out without a crutch.”

The program begins and I look to find Mom, Dad, Suzy and Aunt Marti. I’m surprised to see Trudy sitting with them. I can’t hear what she is saying, but I know it is: “Melanie, you are so beautiful in your dress.” She is pleased when our eyes connect and I smile.

Afraid of emotions, I look away from Trudy, I focus on singing to Suzy and in tune with my sister. We aren't supposed to but I grab and lightly squeeze Sara’s hand as we end the song. I turn and curtsy to Sara, acknowledging she is the lead singer. After the concert, Mr. Hurd is quite strong in telling me that was inappropriate. He did compliment us on the song and the chorus for how well we sang.

After the concert, I am overwhelmed by my family and other students praising me as well as Sara and the other girls. I am invited to an after-concert party but I also have a date with Trudy. I love the dress but I am glad when Sara holds out a shorter dress to change into. Trudy and Sara accompany me to another room where we can change. It is a pretty print dress and I recognize it is one of Sara’s dresses she is currently wearing. “Thanks, Sis, this is extra special of you.” “Right now you are Melanie and not my little brother wearing it.”

My friend Rhonda sees Trudy with me and she says, “If it were me, I would pass up the party and go on my date.” I quickly say, “Thank you, Rhonda, please say Good-bye to the choir for me.”

Trudy and I spend much of our time in her car talking. Trudy says, “You know, I’m getting a little jealous of the attention girls from your school are giving you. Are you sure that Sandy really has a friend Kenny that she’s serious with.”

That Trudy would be jealous of me is a big surprise as she is so high on a pedestal to my thinking. I do confess, “I’m beginning to enjoy this more than I thought. It is even getting hard to remember what my regular voice sounds like. Sometimes when I talk with my parents I revert back to it, but not as often.”

Trudy asks, “What are you using for your complexion. Your complexion almost looks like it is changing.”

She gives me a kiss as her hands slip into the dress. “Trudy, you unzipped my dress without me knowing.” She stares at me, waiting for me to say something. Having a long dress on makes it awkward as it would be very difficult to take it off in the car.

Trudy says, “Don’t worry, it’s not about sex with Melvin… There I said it… Melanie I’m finding myself attracted to you as my girlfriend. And I don’t even see myself as a lesbian. That is apart from you.”

To be continued…

Aunt Marti wakes me at 7:00 a.m., “I know, I said you could stay out a little later, but I am upset that you stayed out until 1:15 a.m. and didn’t call.”

Melanie groans, “Please, Aunt Marti, it is only 7:00 can’t I just sleep in a little longer?”

“You’re to be shadowing me and I’ve been up over a half hour so up and out of bed.” Aunt Marti pulls me get up and pushes me into the bathroom. She talks, “I will get us some breakfast, and you need to get the girls up. Please, pack a change of clothes for Sherry and then change Suzy’s diaper and pick out a nice little outfit. She and I are going to Grandma’s. You will have Sherry this morning and afternoon.”

“I will be back in time for you to go on your date with Derrick. Make sure you check everything so you’re an attractive girl.”

Marti starts to leave, “Aunt Marti, can I ask you something?”

I am not surprised she stops to listen, “Yes Melanie, what do you want to ask?” I just begin shampooing my hair and I feel comfortable talk talking to Aunt Marti; it wouldn’t have happened with my Mom. “It’s just that I want the experience of going out on a date as a girl. Except the idea of having another boy kiss me, I’m kind of excited, but not. How does a girl decide when to say ‘no’?”

Aunt Marti is firm about this, “You never lose the right to say ‘No’ as a girl; you need to respect yourself and expect him to respect you too. That said and you being seventeen, I don’t think your problem will be Derrick going too far. Don’t get upset or embarrassed when he hugs you that he might have gotten hard because of his feelings he’s having.”

“Gross, Aunt Marti. You don’t think me kissing another boy is gross?”

“If you are out to have a girl like experience; you shouldn’t be surprised he has a boy experience. Melanie, girls and boys often feel awkward not only trying to figure out the other person. You’re probably nervous because you aren’t even sure what you want him to do. Maybe you not acknowledging you want him to kiss because you’re like the idea of being a girl.”

I’m surprised how Marti talks to me, but I shouldn’t be. I’ve come talking to her about how I think and feel on a lot of stuff. I even nose my way into her stuff. “So am I to take your silence Melanie to indicate you’re thinking, yes?”

“I’m surprised you aren’t talking to me like a parent and just telling me ‘no’. It’s like you know what I’m thinking and feeling.”

“Dah Melanie, I am a woman so I know that part better than you, plus you and I are close. I have more trouble acting like your Aunt than being a close friend. I’m sorry if I see you more as a sweet teenage girl than you are comfortable with.” I’ve rinsed my hair and I am now putting in the conditioner.

“Marti can you see me in the shower?”

“Um, I can see the silhouette of a girl I am talking to. But I am going to get out of here and let you finish on your own.” I can hear her leave as I think how neat it is to have her as my Aunt.

I spend part of the day cleaning up around the house and playing with Sherry. I also enjoy times when Marti makes the two of us a snack and some tea. She’s cleaned up and in her casual fleece sweatshirt dress she’s ready to go to Grandma’s. “I think that dress is real cute, are you look it very comfortable in it.”

Marti says, “It will be nice to wear something comfortable and not worry about nursing.”

“So are you comfortable?” I shouldn’t have asked.

“Not really my breasts want to explode, but I’ve taken some medicine. It isn’t any worse than her munching down on me, just different.” Marti sees I’ embarrassed a little for asking. “Just be glad you won’t need to go through it.”

I ask, “So how does it feel, having a baby inside of you?”

“I’m use to the physical part, but with having Ron gone the mood changes are harder to deal with.” Marti is looking off somewhere, fighting tears and kind of seeing Ron. I offer my hand and she holds it tight. I’m not ready for her tears and not sure what to do. I lean over and give her a hug. She dampens my shoulder. I mimic some of her movement like petting her hair, trying to change my expressions to be like hers and then a smile.

I touch her bump and she holds my hand there. “Did you feel that?” She moves my hand again and I am sure I felt the baby move. I smiled and look up to her and she smiled back. “That is the good part and it is nice to have someone to share it with.” She wipes her tears from her eyes and touches my lips with her tears. “This is a good time to have Melanie with me.”

One of the things I am learning, quiet times with a girl are different than with a guy. Usually if I am quiet around girls I’m not sure what to think or do, so I don’t. Now I kind of have feelings and think about Marti. I’m trying to be of comfort to her, but it seems to naturally happen.

Marti leaves after our visit and I’m tired, it is like I had continued working hard around the house. But I was just sitting there. The next thing I know, I hear Sherry waking from her nap and I go check on her. I kinda liked that I’m beginning to react and do some things naturally. I have Sherry dressed and we’re active playing house between my getting and sending text. It is mid afternoon when Marti and Suzy are back

Marti sends me to take a bath and begin getting ready for my date with Derrick. I start the water and Marti comes in with some bubble bath. “Marti, I’m big enough to make my own decisions, so please stop it.”

She apologizes, “I will try but I want you to get into the girl thing, it will be fun if you relax. I did this early on when I’m pregnant, being nice to myself. If you shampoo your hair, call me when you are ready to rinse out the conditioner.”

I protest a little being a boy, but remember only girl parts are showing. I’ve shampooed my hair once when Marti knocks and asks, “Would you mind giving Suzy a quick bath.”

“If the water isn’t too hot that would be fine.” Marti trots in carrying Suzy and checks the water and hands Suzy to me. Sherry begins to take off her clothes, but Marti is nice enough to stop her. It is fun to have Suzy in for a minute, and I am glad to watch how Marti wraps her in a towel and dries her.

I am shampooing my hair a second time when Marti leaves to dress Suzy. Sherry stays so she can tell her mother when I am conditioning my hair. Sherry watches her Mommy leave and gets undressed as I go under the water to rinse my hair for the conditioner. Her feet slip onto me as I come back up out of the water. She is giggling big time, “I fooled you and Mommy.”

She is sitting on my lap facing me. She points to the baby shampoo; so I wet her hair and I help shampoo and condition her hair. I begin conditioning my hair as Marti is back and finds Sherry in the tub washing with the bubble bath. “Good timing Aunt Marti, by the time you dry her off I will be ready to rinse out the conditioner.”

Marti has a rinsing hose for rinsing my hair, which feels real good as the water cascades down my hair, face, shoulders and back. She holds my towel as I stand up to get out.

There is an outfit on my bed with a note: “Don’t get angry with me, I’m just the messenger. Sara asked me to layout this outfit for you. She thinks it is nice, neither over kill nor more Mel than Melanie as is her fear. Do as you please, Love, Aunt Marti.”

I didn’t eat, not being sure what Derrick has planned. Derrick has decided we will go to a dance at another high school, since the students won’t know I’m not a real girl. We are hanging around with a friend of Derrick’s and his date. She sings most of the songs at the dance and looks at me like I should too.

Finally for a break I say I’m going to the restroom but Natalie came with me. I use the stall even though I didn’t need to pee. Back out in front of the sink, Natalie asks, “Would you mind if I put a little blush on you while we’re in here,” she says showing me the blush and pointing to my cheeks.

She does and it makes a nice difference giving definition sculpting of my face, “I bet Derrick kisses you now.” Without thinking I use just a drop of perfume and Natalie transfers some to my neck.

The second dance is slow and Derrick is holding me closer to him. I lean my head on his shoulder and as I look up to him my lips are touching his neck. I felt comfortable even more than I thought. I am letting myself enjoy the moment when I feel Derrick’s lips touch mine. His lips are warm and nice and I’m kissing him back. When we stop kissing the music is over and Natalie is lightly clapping.

Derrick says, “I’d say I’m sorry but you didn’t seem to mind.” We get off alone and we’re talking, “I’m sorry Mel, I usually am awkward around girls and I think taking you out helps me. You are as pretty as any girl I’ll probably ever date.”

“I don’t think you need to worry Derrick, I think girls naturally will like you. All you need to do is relax. I’m kind of sorry I kissed you but since being Jill for Halloween, responding as a girl might comes easier.”

“But why did you kiss me back,” He asks?

“I guess because we both liked it. I saw me as a girl kissing a boy and I thought you saw yourself kissing a girl. My Aunt Marti said I shouldn’t be surprised if you react as a red blooded boy.” We went back and dance till a more of the others were leaving. I could tell that Derrick is still excited about me. We drove and he asked if we could stop and talk.

It’s kind of weird, he and I know I’m really a guy but we’re acting like a boy with a girlfriend. I scoot over and he leans over and kisses me. As he leans back during our embrace pulls me and I’m half in his lap like I think a girl might be. One of my hands slips down and I can feel him. Instead of being grossed out I lean to kiss him again.

“I’m sorry,” Derrick begins, “But would it be okay if I take you out on a date again.” I find I’m not looking him in the eye when I say, “I think that would be fine, but I don’t want either of us saying sorry.” I sit back and straighten out my skirt.

When Derrick takes me home, he walks me to the door and we pause. We look into the other’s eyes saying nothing until I say, “Please” and he kisses me again. I go into the house closing the door behind me and I’m leaning back on it. I’m relieved that Marti is not right there, but I hoping she is still awake. I use the bathroom, in part to check my makeup, cleaning up any smeared lipstick.

I went to the kitchen getting out some cereal and milk as I was starving; as I sat down to eat I hear Marti giggling, “So he didn’t feed you.” She pauses and comes to sit down with me. “Other than that did you have a good night?” I smiled and told her, “Yes.” We had a good chat. My phone was buzzing from Sara and I also had a text from Sandy.

I’m proud as I go knowing I need to take off my makeup, shower and get to bed. “So…,” I know what she’s going to ask?

“Yes, he kissed me and he’s asked if we could date again. Yes, he got excited like a boy but nothing happened… We know I’m a boy but we dated like a girl and boy. He’s hoping this helps him in dating girls… So now I told you, can I go to bed?”

Marti smiles, “I’m just happy you talk about it.”

It is only seven thirty; I am dressed and waking up Sherry and lifting Suzi up out of her crib. Both seem to have slept well. I change Suzi, clean her up and get her first bottle with two spoons of rice cereal in it. She will probably get a little grumpy as Marti is not nursing her any more. I expect they will both be a little grumpy. But for now Sherry is in her booster chair eating like a big girl.

Marti is coming, I can see she has a question, probably something important like, ‘what do I want for breakfast?’

“Melanie how many pills do you have remaining?” “Umm.”

“I thought so, after breakfast you can get dressed and we’ll have a talk.”

“How did you know?”

“Let’s say, your mother, sister and I put our heads together and we smelled another girl.”

I’m now scared, “What are you going to do? I am surprised my Mom isn’t over here yelling at me and tanning my hide?”

“So you expect her to treat you like that? Fortunately your mother is nicer than you think. I’ll let her tell you, but you should have thought better.” I hate that when a person makes me feel bad about something I said.

“You want more of the girl experience than you were admitting, don’t you?” Suzi wiggles away from her bottle; I need to pause with her hopingshe’ll then burp her. Marti smiles as I needed time to think as well.

I put a diaper on my shoulder and begin to walk with her she’s big enough that I don’t need to tap her back much. Suzy’s smile has me jealous, growing up as a girl will be quite natural for her. I kind of wish that were true for me, but now I’m going to lose my chance. “What am I saying?”

“What was that Melanie?”

“I was just talking to myself; I didn’t mean to do it out loud.”

“But your problem is there is too much you are just saying to yourself and not admitting to anyone. Am I wrong?” With that said; Marti takes Suzi and gently lifts my chin with her other hand. We smile at each other. “Go put something casual on as we need to talk.”

I go to my room and find that Marti had put out one of her long dresses made out of fleece. It’s like a sweatshirt but long and casual. It still has tags on it, I guess it is new and mine with nice footy socks to go with it. It’s gray with a wide pink stripe down each side, cute. It even has a hoodie if I want to be real cozy. I brush my hair just enough pulling it into a ponytail. Marti smiles as I come back out very relaxed. I wearing the outfit she had set out and it does look adorable.

I grab a cup of hot chocolate, sit on the couch as Sherry comes and snuggles with me. Marti sits down placing Suzi on a blanket. I had already dumped the disc of pills in the trash, making sure Aunt Marti saw me.

“So Melanie, were they all your pills? I know I said something about the girl experience but I hope we have both thought twice about this.” My smile leaves though I don’t think she wants me to feel terribly bad, just to wise up.

I stay quiet until she asks, “So what have you been thinking? You tell people one thing but your actions seem to have a different message.”

I hold my hot chocolate in my lap and hug Sherry with my other arm, kissing her on the forehead. “I kinda like the girl experience; I don’t expect you to understand.” Marti moves to the couch, putting a hand out for me. No fair, tears fill my eyes. “Your Mom says you have a gentle heart.” As Sherry moves to her Mom, I pick up my hot coco with both hands taking a sip.

She says, “What do you want me to understand?”

“I’m not sure, may be just that I enjoy part of this girl experience and it isn’t easy on me.” I pause, “No one knows but I use to sneak into Sara’s stuff. I thought I was just getting away with something; I just like being sneaky, it’s sad but no one pays attention to me.”

Marti looks me in the eyes, “But are you surprised how much you enjoy girl stuff?”

I am sure I am like a little bunny poking up its head and ears like, ‘I’ve been spotted.’ “You don’t seem surprised?” Marti’s smile widens to a smirk. “Mel, you are a neat guy, but I’m not surprised that part of you really enjoys this. You and I talk a lot and this matches with a lot of things you don’t say.”

“Huh?” I don’t get it.

“Mel, it is like you’re getting punished for something and you have kind of enjoy it.”

I smugly say, “Well it is like if life gives you lemons make lemonade.”

“Not quite, it is like you want to be doing this. I don’t want to be accusing you of something, but I am trying to honestly ask you how you feel… feel about being Melanie?”

Part of me wants to cry… I’m use to keeping even the people close to me at a distance. Marti is one of them. She takes my hand again and I know she wanst me to trust her. “I want… You need to promise not to tell anyone including my Mom?” Marti squeezes my hand but she doesn’t promise.

“I’m trusting you; …I’ve always felt bad about it, but yes part of me likes being Melanie. There are you happy!”

“Only if you feel good that it isn’t a secret anymore and remember to talk to me.”

“Please, don’t tell my parents; I know you didn’t promise but I’m trusting you.”

“Melanie, I hope it is you who tells your Mom and your Dad when the time comes. I do want you to trust me as I am trusting you with a very personal time in my life.”

She continues, “You know, this is not a time I would generally would trust a boy to understand and be there for me. I know I wouldn’t share it with my own brother. Don’t feel bad but Sara and I have always seen you as special, kind of a sister as well as a brother.”

I scoot forward and gently kiss Marti’s cheek as I give her a gentle hug with Sherry snuggled between us.” As we separate, Sherry’s touching my chest, “Mommy she is soft like you.”

We talk another hour; mostly me talking. Marti finally tells me I’m watching the girls while she is going shopping.

Grandma Briggs comes over as I finish cleaning up from lunch and I’m trying to put the girls down for a nap. Sherry won’t go to sleep while Suzi might if Grandma didn’t bother her. But that is why she came.

Grandma does let me finish the dishes and thinks it is funny when she lets me change diapers or take Sherry potty. Grandma would like me to change clothes, but I don’t think another girl outfit will be any different. Marti is only half surprised when she gets home and sees Grandma.

I busy myself texting with Sandy, Trudy and Sara.

“Has Aunt Marti talked to you about anything special,” Sara asks? When I pause, she says, “Never mind, I will come and see you and Granny. Hey Mel, your friend Al called asking why you haven’t been over playing games at the mall.”

I pause texting, to call Al but forget to change my voice, “Hey Al, I hear you called thanks man.”

“Hey Dude, what’s with the voice?”

Back to Mel’s voice, “Sara said you called, I’d love to get to the mall for some games.” “…I’d have to check …maybe Sara can give me a ride. …Okay, I’ll try to be there ‘round five.” Interesting, our conversation is over in three minutes.

Sara knocks on my bedroom door as she and Sherry come walking in, “I like your dress L’tle Sis.” I look down, twirl once and smile, Sara’s amused as Sherry comes over and hugs my legs and I lift her up. Sherry pats my chest again, “Untee Melwanie is soft.” Sara breaks out giggling. “Don’t waff, you hurt her feewins.”

Sara says, “I guess she told me; Sorry Sis, sorry Sherry.” Sherry gives me a big hug.

“So who was that short conversation with ‘Mel’?” I tell her and ask for a ride to the mall later.

“Mel, you need to fix yourself up. Don’t make Marti and others suffer with that lazy guy stuff. Brush your hair and put on a little makeup, even when you’re not going any place. Sherry and I will get out your room and we’ll let you get a shower and see you afterwards.”

By the time I am out of the shower and back to my room, Sara’s been back in and laid out panties, bra, skirt, camisole and sweater. It’s a nice combination, better than I would have picked. I’m back out with Granny and everyone. Sara’s smirking and Granny is warming up to me, “My daughter tells me you’re a good little helper.”

Soon there is someone at the door delivering Chinese, Granny’s treat. I quickly set the table, pouring milk and have water heating for tea. Granny causes me to pause as she is sticking earrings in my ears. “Your mother said your ears were pierced so I want you to have these for a while.”

I try to move to see them but Granny stops me and asks me to turn around and lift my hair. She’s putting a cameo necklace on me. “They’re mine, your great grandmother gave them to me as a young lady.” I go to a mirror and see they are dainty and more appropriate for a younger woman. Sara and Marti both squeeze my hand telling me, “Remember to thank Grandmother.” I need to catch my breath and grab a tissue. My voice becomes the softest yet, “Thanks Granny this is special; you shouldn’t.” She touches my lips with a finger and leads me to the table next to her.

After we eat; I ask for permission to go to the mall to play video arcade games with Al for a few hours. But my Aunt only gives me an hour; she also reminds me, I need to go as Melanie. I’m considering staying home but Aunt Marti says “You’re going, you need to get out of the house; being with some of your guy friends will be good for you.”

Come five Sara takes me; she’s meeting Kathy to look around the mall. I text Al so he’s not surprised I’m dressed as a girl, but I guess he’s not totally prepared. “Dude or is it Dudess?”

“Knock it off Al, it is bad enough I got me in this mess.”

He jokes, “How’s your pregnancy going? Do you know yet if it’s a boy or girl yet?”

“Knock it off or I’m leaving.”

“Don’t blame Mel; you can’t blame me for teasing a little. You actually make a decent girl. Hey, please use your girl voice and don’t let on who you really are. It could hurt my reputation.”

I say, “You don’t have a reputation worth hurting, but I don’t think either of us wants attention.” Figuring out what to do with my purse is my next problem. Having nails also takes some getting use too as both games we play are very touch sensitive. It takes three games before I am able to beat Al. Unfortunately I’m drawing attention. One guy asks me to be with him after Al says we’re just friends. I refuse, but he challenges the winner of the next game.

I considered losing but that isn’t my style. The jerk surprises me as he’s good and it takes me a bit to challenge him as I still lost the first game. I beat him in the second game and we’re about to play the deciding game when Sara shows up. “Melanie, we need to be going.”

The guy speaks up, “Hey, this is our deciding game leave her alone.”

Sara said, “Don’t do it Melanie, you’ll hurt the boy’s feelings.” I’m embarrassed though I know she’s right. The jerk bites Sara’s hook and we have a last game. I’m pissed as a nail breaks but I win easy enough. Sara wins a dollar and we leave the arcade quickly.

I’m expecting to leave, but Kathy and Sara have other plans. We’re quickly at L.A. Women’s World getting appropriate shoes for cheerleading. Sixty dollars for cheerleading shoes that I will only be using for a month. I think it is too much, but there are two votes against me and I lose. I am upset that Kathy follows us back to Marti’s house as they want me to do a cheer with them in front of Granny. Granny’s left so I think I am safe, but Marti has us do a cheer and gets it on her smart phone, not good.

To be continued…

Kathy is ready to leave, but as she opens the door, my mother is there announcing, “I have Melanie’s new and bigger baby bump.” Kathy asks, my mother, “If she’s putting it on now, it would be sweet to see.”

“No time like the present then,” Mom’s reply.

“Ugh, why would you need to see it,” I ask Kathy?

“Get used to it Mel; girls take interest in one another. Plus I’m hoping you’ll still be able to cheer.” My Mom’s eyes pop open as I had not shared the possibility of my cheering with her.

“Marti what would you say to you and your three girls eating with us on Tuesday and Thursday nights? I want Melanie to stay connected to her family. Plus this way we can help while Ron is gone.” Marti smiles as it will be two meal nights she won’t be responsible for supper.

I walk with Mom to my room and begin to take off my blouse till I notice everyone following us into the room. I pull the front of my blouse closed and begin to ask people to leave. “You should have said you wanted privacy before you led them down here,”
“Melanie, I am not against you having longer nails but let’s take these off and have you grow your own. You Mom says. Marti smiles, “We’re all girls here Melanie, plus you only need to dress down to your panties and bra.” “Ugh!”

Mom reads as she has me lay down on the bed as she pulls out a disk like form that tapers at the edges. “The package says’ three pounds but it’s a half pound heavier.” “Tah Mom, it doesn’t make a difference.”

“That comes from the little prissy upset she broke one of her fingernails,” Sara says.

One would think changing the disk is surgery as Mom and the other women have their say about the placement of the bump. Once in place Sara and Kathy smooth on the concealer around the edges until it is a good match. Once ready for me to get up, Marti hands me another camisole to wear. As I move around I notice the added weight and how the bump changes my world.

Mom turns to Marti, “I think she’s noticing the difference. Sara, I hope you and Kathy are paying attention and don’t get in the same way?” I’m turning red as they talk about so much and it doesn’t matter that I’m in the room.

“Now Melanie, let’s see what we can do about your fingernail,” Mom enjoys the chance to be Melanie’s Mom. “You should be able to grow your nails and learn how to care for your hands.” I turn around in puzzlement; Mom is treating more like I should be Melanie than I ever thought I’d see. After my nails are done, Mom sets me to modeling some outfits she has not seen me wear.

When I come out modeling my second outfit Trudy is here; she came from work before she goes home. “O my Melanie that is a really nice outfit and it’s you.” I reach for her with both hands and she drops one, “Now turn around.” It is like we choreographed it, for as she let’s go of my other hand and I curtsy to Marti and my Mom.

“Tell me a boy didn’t just do that,” my Mom says as she draws her hands to her mouth in surprise. Marti whispers from behind, “Your son, he’s quite precious.” The outfit is very nice but nothing special. They’re all realizing how easy I’m slipping into girl mode it is makes the moment special. Luckily Sherri comes and hugs my legs and then reaches for me to pick her up.

“Whooo’s shee Untie Melwanie?”

“She’s my friend Trudy; remember seeing her as Jack during Halloween?”

“I thinks she wuvs you.”

Trudy gives me with a hug, “How much did you pay her to say that? She’s right you know.” I look to Trudy in surprise and then pull her in with the arm not holding Sherri.

Marti pulls the three of us into my room. They now begin holding up different outfits and combinations. It might be normal for them and as beautiful as it all is, it’s an overload for me. I’m on my bed holding my legs together and my skirt down. I’m seeing their faces, outfits and so many shades of color and deep down its beginning to make sense. There is no way I can take it all in. A wave of fear rides over me; my male ego has trouble with Melanie enjoying things so much.

Mom’s taking pictures with her iphone as I sense Trudy nibbling my ear as she whispers, “Your bump has grown some girl, so how’s the baby? When is the baby due?”

“I am glad to hear that question for someone other than me,” Marti says.

“O Mom, I felt Marti’s baby, you should feel it, it’s awesome.” Aunt Marti unbuttons the bottom of her blouse so we can see and feel for the baby. Trudy is the first to feel movement. She half hugs me as she enjoys the sensation.

It is kind of neat as the three of them get into conversations that when they are mindful, they won’t let me hear. Other times it is like they’re seeing me as a girl and they even bring me into the conversations. It is 10:30 before we realize the time. Mom heads out the door just before Trudy, Kathy’s next and Sara negotiates to stay the night.

There are dishes to do as well as my new clothes to put away or into the wash. I coax Marti not into doing the dishes. I say to Sherry, “She has a toddler and a baby to get to bed. We’re doing the dishes, unless you wants us to take Sherry and Suzy off your hands.”

Aunt Marti apologizes, “Sorry but putting them to bed is a special time for me; you’ll understand when you two are Moms.” Sara looks to me, realizing what Marti just said.

I pick up a dish towel to dry, but Sis first puts an apron around me. She dries and I get to wash. “I really enjoy watching you as my little sister.”

When we’re getting ready for bed Sara’s in with me. Yes, she manages privacy when she’s changing, but as Big Sis she sees it as her right to watch and help me change into my night clothes. She has comments about my removing makeup, moisturizing my skin and taking care of my hair. Then we sit in a big beanbag chair together going through a fashion magazine. Sara telling me what’s hot or not, she giggles at some of my likes. She says my tastes are more like a sister than a brother.

I’m not sure when we got to bed but 6:30 came all too early. Sara uses some things of Marti’s old clothes and reclaims a camisole she had let me have. I’m doing well until a snug top rides up on my bump. Sara’s solution is for me to wear a teal bodysuit with a crochet sweater and a simple skirt. Tada’ an outfit I would not have dreamed of, but it works and looks nice.

Our first Tuesday family night dinner in December is great. But Mom’s after me for a Christmas list. “Sorry Mom, but it’s hard for a boy to ask for makeup and maternity clothes.”

Sara jokes I might need support hose. “Not funny at all Sara; remember someday you’ll really be having kids.” Our joking goes too far and Marti feels the brunt of it; though we didn’t intend to be insensitive.

When Marti, the girls and I go home, Marti begins to cry once we’re in the house. I take Suzy and Sherry; give them baths and get them ready for bed. I need to give Suzy another bottle and change her once more before she goes to sleep. Sherry’s cute in her pajamas with feet. When I take them to say goodnight to their Mom, I realize I need to return to take time with Aunt Marti.

Marti’s kind of bummed out about something but she’s also down to her panties and bra along with being six months pregnant. I want to call Mom; Marti says all she needs to do is talk. She’s sitting up in her bed and I’m holding her hand. Marti wipes her eyes and regains her composure. Physically she is glowing; this is a beautiful side a woman that guys don’t usually see unless one’s a husband and sensitive enough to see.

Instead of being a dumb teenage boy, I find I’m a jealous teenage girl. Aunt Marti already has two beautiful girls and at six plus months she has a glow and beauty that says she is way prettier than me. “Aunt Marti as a teenage girl looking at you, I’m envious that someone can be as beautiful as you.” She talks about how her breasts were just getting back to normal but normal is now a full C-cup… She tells be how her growing womb stretches her skin and how the baby’s pushing down begins to grow increasingly more uncomfortable… Time and again she says, “Look at me?” The boy Mel is uncomfortable with that but Melanie is downright sympathetic to jealous.

“Aunt Marti in three months, you’ll be having a baby, as pretty as the other two; I’m the one who looks like a fool. I’ll not be a woman who has carried her baby to term, but a boy who might think he knows what you experienced, but I’ll only have pretended.”

“You are someone I already admire and want to be like. You help me with makeup, hair and which skirt to wear. I know, Uncle Ron would like to be the one here with you. I know he would be telling you, you’re the most beautiful woman alive and mean it.”

Aunt Marti smiles, she’s even trying to hold back from giggling, “Would you mind if I take you shopping for some maternity clothes?”

“O no Aunt Marti you aren’t asking that?” We hug and we’re laughing. She complains her bra cuts in underneath and has me help with the hooks in the back. I try not to look but I do and Marti giggles with me.

“You really are my second niece. You’re also pretty and a very good listener.”

Marti asks, “Melanie, would you mind getting ready for bed and then come back to sleep with me tonight?” While I’m getting ready for bed, Marti remembers I need to be taking off my faux breasts to let my skin breath. She helps apply the solution to take them off. I take a shower to help get them off and to clean the area thoroughly. With each one coming off I pass it to Marti on the other side of the shower door. It is like going from womanhood to being a boy with a small screen between us. Coming out I wrap the towel as the young woman Melanie has become. Once I’m dry and in a nightgown I’m back in with Marti and she brushes out my hair.

Aunt Marti tells me, “The son of a coworker saw your picture on my web-page. He asked, his mother if she could get him your phone number to ask you to a dance. I’ve seen a picture of him and he’s really cute.”

“I’m not impressed that he’s cute. And why would he want date me?”

“He wants to date you because his former girlfriend is trying to hurt him. His Mom told him how pretty you are and you’d make him look real good.”

“But Aunt Marti, I don’t want to hurt another girl’s feelings.”

Aunt Marti gets a serious expression, “Melanie, I’ve met this girl; she’s badly in need of an attitude adjustment! Other than to dance and maybe a kiss or two at an appropriate time he will treat you right and make sure you have a good time.”

Aunt Marti waits for me to answer and when I don’t she tells me, “I’m going to give him your number and you can say yes or no.”

“That is not fair Aunt Marti, like how will I even know it’s him?”

“His name is Jake Johnson and he goes to Scotch Plains High School. I guess they have a dance this Saturday and next Friday so you can choose which to go to.”

When Aunt Marti kisses me goodnight I can feel her tears and wet eyelashes touching me. I wish I were in my own room so I could call Sis. I’m afraid I should be saying or doing something more or different for Aunt Marti. Instead I rub her back and neck gently. I would stop but she says it’s nice.

Finally I fall asleep and I wake up hearing Suzy crying for her Mommy. I slip out of bed and get Suzy; I need to change her diaper. Suzy is fully awake so I get her a small bottle. As she drinks her bottle she scowls and turns red as she dirties her diaper. She smiles at me, “O Suzy you shouldn’t have.” It is around 4:00 in the morning and I think, ‘How many boys are up changing diapers, now?’ I hear my phone ringing on low and check who would be calling? Its Trudy texting, “Are you up?” She is amused that I am, “Hey Miss Babysitter call if you’re awake.”

I finish changing Suzy the second time and put her back to bed. I call Trudy and we get lost in talking until 6:00 a.m. and Trudy reminds me we need to get ready for school. It is the first time I put the phone on speaker phone and we get ready for school together kind of. After I select a skirt that Trudy likes she suggests a cami and another blouse. Aunt Marti is amused how smart I look today. She speaks up and invites Trudy over for diner which Trudy quickly accepts.

The day at school goes well for being accepted as a girl, a pregnant girl at that. It is weird. The baby bump is large enough to be a constant reminder; I’m afraid others will notice. It is not smart to sit down fast the hard plunk down affects my bladder and kidneys. I’m in need of the toilet. My teacher says I can use the girl’s room but two girls escort me. It isn’t easy sitting on a toilet and trying to pee with two girls waiting for you.

Derrick seems to find it easier now to talk with girls; I thought I would have been happier about that than I am. “No offense,” he says once as he passes by, “But I was just being nice and I like real girls.”

I want to tell those with him, “I know he’s a good kisser, I was his boyfriend before.” I don’t do that realizing Derrick is just an old date. Maybe some time in the future we’ll be back to being just friends. “I know how a guy’s ego can run away with him.

I get a text from Aunt Marti reminding me of an appointment at the GYN doctor.

Sandy takes joy in helping me with a smock like dress for when my pregnancy pushes me out of more clothes. She asks, “Will they have your boobs growing during the later part of the pregnancy?” Needless to say, I hadn’t thought much about things like that. We change the design at the top just in case. There will now be an opening held together with laces in the front that can be tightened or loosened as needed. Now, I have another question to ask at the doctor’s.

When I get home from school, I need to quickly change into a loose fitting dress in preparation to go to my doctor’s appointment. Just as we are to leave Trudy arrives and comes with us. Just what I needed a girlfriend with me in the waiting room of a women’s clinic

Once we’re there sitting down, I hear one woman announcing to her daughter, “I’m certain that’s the boy acting like a pregnant girl.” The daughter looks to be a college age young woman, who appears to be six or seven months along in her pregnancy. The college girl gets up and as I fear she comes over to me. She smiles as Trudy moves over so she can sit down.

She asks Trudy, “Are you her girlfriend?” She then turns to me, “I’m Tamera. You know you are a lucky guy to have people around you, supporting you through this.”

I smirk, “How is it then I don’t feel so lucky waiting to go in to see an OB/GYN doctor?”

Tamera responds, “Because deep down you’re afraid to admit you like it.” With that she takes a hold of my hand and I know she isn’t being flippant. I have tears in my eyes that I’m holding back. I am glad to hear my name being called and I turn to Tamera as I get up. “Thank you, I hear what you saying, but I’m puzzled about how you knew.”

Trudy visits with Tamera after I go with the nurse. Tamera’s interested in staying in touch.

The nurse takes me back to an exam room and asks me to change into the exam gown. I ask, “Is this really essential? It is very embarrassing, and I’d rather not.” The nurse puts down the gown and leaves. She and the Doctor are back in the room fifteen minutes later. I am dutifully changed.

Dr. Stephens turns to my Aunt. “So Marti, are you feeling well? This young one is just getting a taste of being pregnant. Is she cooperating with you and learning the real side of things?”

“Melanie, your Aunt contacted me about you sneaking pills that aren’t yours. What have you learned about using things not approved for you?” We talked, she informed me what I had used was not likely to make much difference. She did say if I continued misusing medication I would be in trouble.

“I do think it is okay to continue to use the blocker into January at least. Next week when the bump gets bigger you may begin to feel your bladder and your digestion responding to added pressure.”

I told her, “Today I experienced that when I sat abruptly like a normal guy does.”

“You need to realize right you’re not a normal boy for now. Please journal your body changes and any discomfort you might experience. We don’t want you getting hurt during this experience. Truth be told, many women have trouble knowing what normal discomfort is and what might be a sign of a problem.”

Tonight’s sleep is the beginning of dreams about being a real pregnant girl and things like needing to get married or consider an abortion. I dreamt of a wedding gown being placed over me and someone telling me I need to give up my name and will be called Mrs. Derrick Holmes for the rest of my life… I woke sitting up and crying. I had trouble going back to sleep and was sort of relieved when Suzi wakes up crying. After helping her I was able to get back to sleep.

Aunt Marti has me make out a Christmas list asking for things like panties for a pregnant woman, a nursing bra. My list has things like a baby doll for me, my own set of curlers, combs, brushes and teen fashion apps and more for my computer. Finally I get creative asking for girl posters, music and footwear.

While I am getting ready for school Jake Johnson calls to invite me to a dance at his school. Upset with Derrick’s putdown yesterday I agree to the date. “Aunt Marti, I just made a bonehead promise to go with Jake Johnson to his dance. How is that doing to impress his old girlfriend when he shows up with a pregnant girl?”

“Well that would be a problem; whether she sees you as being pregnant or that boy pretending to be pregnant?”

Marti says, “I guess I will allow you to play Cinderella until midnight on Saturday.”

“Wouldn’t be better if I didn’t go?”

Aunt Marti smiles, “You should have thought about that before you accepted the date.”

My practice with the cheerleaders is helping me to get in better shape. But Kathy says Tonight and Friday will be my first and then last time to be a cheerleader until my pregnancy ends. I am only good enough to help with three of their many cheers. Tonight was fun after I got over my initial butterflies. I am good on high kicks, a single cartwheel to the side, jumping in place and moving in sync with the other cheerleaders. Tonight’s game was away and the bus ride home was a chance for the girls to mercilessly tease me. But I enjoyed it as it was 95% in fun.

Friday, I am shown and given the larger baby bump though it is agreed I don’t need to wear it until Sunday. They give it to me because I will need it to get the proper size clothes for wearing as pregnant me.

The games Friday were suppose to be tough, but the girls won big and the boys won the harder fought contest. My joy was in receiving a corsage and celebrating making the cheerleaders squad. Despite the cold, I went out with the cheerleaders in uniform after the game. Trudy was even allowed to come with me.

Early Saturday Trudy stops over with a shimmering blue mini-dress for my date with Jacob. “How can you do this to me Trudy, I’m your boyfriend?”

“I just want to see if Jake can help you feel more like a girl? I think, that’s the you I’m in love with the most.” A moment later Trudy tells me, she is only joking, but down inside I’m not sure…

Once again I felt like Trudy’s casting me as a fantasy character, instead of Jill, I’m to be Cinderella. This time, with my eyes wide open I am going along with it. Trudy takes me to one of those ‘Nails’ places at the mall. Even without using fake nails they have my nails looking feminine and beautiful.

Once back to Aunt Marti’s I am allowed to take off my baby bump for part of the day. I never thought a boy would be so happy to put on regular girl clothes. “Trudy, I feel like my old self.” To which Trudy and Aunt Marti giggle uncontrollably. I tried to correct what I said and how I said it, but it only gets worse.

Trudy has a cute holiday bracelet and necklace set of red Christmas balls that I’ll wear with my blue dress. I want to change into it come noon but Aunt Marti says “No. But we should fasten on these breast forms as well as your gaff.” With that I’m led into my bedroom while Trudy watches Suzy and Sherry.

Aunt Marti takes breast forms that are sitting in a new bra and has me lay down as she draws to circles for the new breast forms; they are slightly larger. Aunt Marti informs me that they’re noticeably bigger; they’re now a very full B size. Between having the bump off and the larger breasts on, I’m tickled with the difference. The gaff requires more shaving, which hopefully will help reduce the discomfort when it comes off. Come 1:00 p.m. Marti takes the girls as she and my Mom go shopping.

I set out to make popcorn for Trudy and me to eat while watching a movie. No sooner is Marti’s car out of the driveway and Trudy stops me from making the popcorn. Trudy says, “I’m sorry but I don’t want your buttery hands on me.”

“Don’t worry I’ll be careful.” Trudy giggles, “Melanie, you don’t get it. It is you I want to snack on.” She leads me over to the oversize recliner that we both sit down and then recline back. Trudy’s first kiss is warm and passionate, something dreams are made of. I’m wearing a skirt and when Trudy puts her hand inside by leg my emotions start to climb and skyrocket with her hand on me.

“Trudy, don’t you think we should be more careful?” She giggles again, “Don’t worry I won’t get you pregnant.” The way I was feeling, I’m not fully sure. I know even as Melanie I want Trudy.

“But Trudy dressed like this I feel more like another girl not Melvin.” Trudy rolls a little on top of me and in a sultry voice says, “That’s okay.” I know one of her hands is on my breasts and despite what I don’t feel it’s provocative to me. I begin to unbutton Trudy’s blouse thinking for some reason she’ll stop me. So far today all my assumptions are wrong. My biggest problem now is my mixed emotions. I find Trudy sexy by both Melvin and Melanie’s standards.

Thirty minutes later we haven’t gotten past kissing and some hot petting, except I’m the one who is out of her panties and bra. I do manage to get her bra off and nibble on one of her breasts. It’s at that moment Trudy felt the excitement get out of her control and she pulls back.

She has me take a shower shampooing and conditioning my hair. She even checks my legs and underarms and has me shave them again. I’m back into a fresh pair of panties, bra and my robe. Then Trudy has me sit down so she can blow dry my hair as she styles it for my date.

I’m back in a white cotton blouse and my skirt when Aunt Marti and my Mom drive in. Trudy and I go out to help carry packages. Marti asks for me to get Suzi and to change her. I like how Suzi clings to me like a second mommy. She even reaches into my blouse as she does with Marti. Where Sherry knows Auntie Melwanie is a boy Suzi sees me only as a person with bumps on my chest which she prefers.

Aunt Marti seems to suspect we’ve done something yet she is quiet; especially when Mom is nearby. Mom compliments how I look and Marti asks if we have had a good time with a telling smile. She even hears Trudy telling her how she helped so I’d have a good time and experience in being a girl tonight.

Come 5:00 p.m. Aunt Marti and Mom give me permission to start getting dressed and ready for my date. Seeing Trudy excited to help me, they suggest she leave before Jacob came. Trudy responds, “I would like to stay and talk with you after Melanie leaves on her date. I’ll just be a girlfriend that dropped over to see her friend’s beau.”

“Can you atleast wait until she has her panties, pantyhose and bra on before you go in to help her,” Marti says looking to my Mom for affirmation. Trudy smiles with a mischievous grin of compliance.

My Mom comes in a moment before the other two. “Honey, how are you doing, are you excited about your date?”

“Mom, are you really expecting me to be excited about going to a dance with another boy?”

Mom responds, “When you’re dress as Melanie, I don’t see it as dating another boy. You’re pretty and in every way I can sense, right now you’re my daughter.” I’m moved and any ounce that’s holding on being Melvin dissipates. Just as I’m settling into a mother/daughter time, Trudy comes in with Sherry following closely behind. I actually was enjoying my mother daughter time and wished it had not been interrupted. I’ve always been closer to my mom, but this was completely new to me.

Mom’s helping me to put on the mini-dress, remarking how it shimmers, making me look all the more feminine. As I’m smoothing out the front, Mom’s zipping up the back and fastening the top little hook. Trudy is kneeling to make sure the hem is down and even all the way around my legs. Sherry is touching my legs, “Auuntie Melwanie yu w’ok beuwitfulwie.”

I pick her up rubbing my nose into her face before I give her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you Sherry, do you think my date will think so?”

“Mummy and T’udy say you Cindewella to’nite.” Trudy is running a hand along my leg to get me to step into my heels. Somehow it feels extra special that Trudy is helping and not fearful that I’m dating Jacob. Her touches are a reminder of how close we are.

We take my makeup to Marti’s vanity where I can sit and apply my makeup. Mom watches with amusement as I’m doing most of my makeup. I did ask for help in selecting colors for my eye shadow and blush. I hear Mom whisper to Trudy, “Mel’s not only becoming prettier, but she’s more and more girl.” Trudy giggles in agreement, “I’m surprised now attractive I find Mel this way.”

Before they brush and finish styling my hair, I feel Trudy’s fingers bring the necklace around my neck again, and then helps with the matching bracelet. The way her hands are around me, are filed away in my memory. I note the touch of a woman as opposed to how I am use to do things. Once my hair is finished, Marti suggests a change of earrings.

There’s a difference as to which set of earrings to use and then discussion how even prettier the two sets are together. With a towel over each shoulder and an ice cube held to each ear I am getting a second set for each ear. Instead of complaining about the pain or nuisance, I agree and cooperate. The new piercings are like badges of courage or whatever to my psyche.

Though I am ready in plenty of time, I’m to stay in my room until after Jake is here and inside waiting. I try protesting that it’s too girly and contrived for me. I knew I’d lose the protest. Marti has me keep Sherry as I wait and has Trudy come out so my lipstick and makeup aren’t bothered. Luckily Jake arrives almost five minutes early. I soon know Mom approves of my date.

I get goosebumps as I walk out to see him. Marti is right he’s handsome and in every sense someone might say is typical for a guy. Even in my heels he’s taller than me and despite his jacket I sense the strength of his arms and upper body. Trudy teases, “Jake put your arms around Melanie and squeeze together for pictures. She’s a regular girl, not as fragile as she looks. She’s shy so you will need to help her relax and get to know you at the dance.” As we walk out to leave, Trudy encourages Jake, “Jake, you don’t need to wait until you’re back at the door to be affectionate.” I wince as I hear her; she even has Marti’s encouraging him.

I make sure to sit down bringing my hands to sweep my skirt underneath as I do and then bring my legs into the car. Jake gets into the driver’s seat, starts the car and then looks over to me. He’s not looking at my eyes as I realize the top of the dress shows a bit of my breasts. “O, do you like my necklace? Trudy leant it and the bracelet to me, wasn’t that nice of her.”

It took Jake a moment to regain his thoughts, “O yes, it caught my eye and I thought it goes nicely with your dress and the season.” He smiles, “My Mom said you were prettier than the picture on Marti’s desktop. I agree with her, you are very pretty.”

Jake says, “That is neat you and your Aunt are that close that you’re willing to stay with her while she’s pregnant. It’s lucky she has a niece like you.”

I smile, “She’s my Mom’s younger sister and yes we’re especially close.”

“Aunt Marti says you were hurt by a girlfriend who broke up with you.”

“Kind of, it’s not like I want her back, but I have trouble breaking the ice with girls. Jenna knows that and she’s been kind of rubbing it in my face. I shouldn’t be so petty, but I’ve feel like a dork without a date.”

“I guess it’s hard for a girl to wait and boys get nervous about girls saying no. So why were you willing to call and ask me out?”

“Well you’re pretty, your Aunt told Mom you aren’t going with anyone in particular. The truth is, if you said ‘No’ no one else would know.”

“Are there others at your school you would like to date?” Jake smiles, but won’t say anything.

“I kind of like you, but I know it’s more realistic to have a girlfriend closer by. Do any of those girls look a little like me?” I see Jake smile. “You know we could say we met last summer at the shore and were waiting for a chance to date. That way another girl might think she has a chance because she lives closer.”

Jake relaxes and smiles, “That is nice, but if we have a good time it would be nice to be one of your boyfriends.”

“Like I have a lot of them; I don’t. Let’s just enjoy tonight and see.”

Scotch Plains is bigger than my school, so it’s kind of overwhelming to be at a dance with so many people. Jake appears to be popular, so it feels nice to be with him for the night. We meet up with a number of friends. Ken and Marie, Elzar and Tanya are the ones we sit and talk the most with. Elzar’s the most vocal, “Hey, princess you look hot and cool at the same time.” Out on the dance floor, Elzar calls over, “Hey, Wicked is parting the dance floor.” With that I look to Jake’s left and a very beautiful blonde is walking thru the crowd as she’s coming out onto the dance floor. I feel a bit stressed wondering how I’m to compete with her.

“Hey Dreary Dearie, how far did Jake have to go to find one at least mildly cute?”

“One of his friends at the beach said you’re very pretty but your breath stinks. I guess they were talking about your stinking mouth.” I’m hoping we won’t get in a fight as I can tell her claws are probably as sharp as her tongue. The band switches to a slow song and I cozy up to Jake turning my back to her. Jake said something but I put a finger on his lips and then ask for a kiss.

Jenna says something but I distract Jake by putting my head on his shoulder and stretch to kiss his neck. I guess she didn’t know what to do once she’s ignored and others go back to dancing. Her date is okay, but nothing special. I ask Jake about him and he won’t say anything bad. It takes asking Ken later. “His Daddy owns a car dealership and has some money.”

Tanya, Marie and another girl Hanna take me to the girls’ room Tanya and Hanna left as Marie and I are refreshing our makeup. Jenna comes in with her friends and suggests I should leave her school and ex. “Won’t happen until we’re ready to leave.”

“You’re not wanted here!” she gets a little more vocal.

“Hmm, Jake seems happy enough I’m here and most others are being real nice. Jealous Jake’s moving on?” Sensing I hit a sensitive note, “Afraid your boy there will lose interest?”

“He’s as much a guy as Jake and his car is newer,” she’s now in my face as she speaks. I wipe my face and dress like she’s spraying as she speaks. I respond, “Then we should all be happy and go our different ways. I guess some of the Scotch Plains girls interested in him were afraid you’d be like this.” I take a breath, “If you start trouble with me, you’re the one who will be in trouble with school officials.” With that Marie and I take our purses and walk out. Jenna makes the immature move of bumping into Marie.

Once we’re out of the girls’ restroom, I ask, “Marie are there other girls Jake is interested in? Don’t worry I just think I’m far enough away I’m not likely to be real competition as a steady date.”

Marie smiles, “You’re not interested in him? I thought you’re getting on nicely.”

“I’m interested and I’ll date him as I can, it’s just I’d like a guy I don’t have to see on my smart phone or tablet. Plus I don’t want to be too serious, because I’ll going to college.” We stop talking just before we reach Ken and Jake. Closer to 10:30, I’m ready to leave but I ask Marie and Tanya about a girl who looks to be a junior. She has light brown hair with highlights; she’s pretty and has been looking over now and then. “Dawn Towner, a lot of boys would like to date her but no one holds her interest.” I giggle, “She’s either attracted to me or Jake’s got her interest.”

Marie giggles, “That would ruffle Jenna’s panties; not only is she attractive, she’s athletic and a small tiger.” Tanya agrees, with Marie’s assessment.

“So, if they would catch on I doubt he’s traveling thirty some miles to see me.” I want to go over and say something to her, but it might solidify Jake being seen as dork. Knowing there’s atleast a warm chance this is not a repeat gig, I get more aggressive with Jake. I wait for Jake to give me another kiss and I move to hold the kiss and return it more aggressively. I’m focusing on enjoying my girl time. I flirt mostly with Jake but not exclusively.

We leave the dance early enough and since it’s a weekend I have a 12:30 curfew. Before we get into the car to leave, Jake takes hold of me as we talk and I lean back against his car. Jake pulls me away from the car and I think he’s being a gentleman. His hands slip down as our kiss becomes more passionate, I only make sure Jake doesn’t go too far.

Thanking him for a nice time, sends the message for him to start home. I use his visor mirror to fix my lips; I don’t see any other blemishes. Jake asks if I’m hungry and I say no despite starving. We’re home before midnight and we could stay and kiss in the car. But I think of the grief I’d get at school if someone drives by and notices.

I couldn’t feel much but I know Jake’s hand or arm pressed against one breast in passing as we cuddle. The kiss at the door is passionate and I feel him press against me. He’s embarrassed that I notice his excitement. Though he warms part of me, it’s too cold to stay out longer so I say goodnight and go inside. Once I know he’s walking down the steps, I stretch to watch him from the top of the door.

As he gets into the car, I twirl around and leaned against the door with a sigh. I hear Aunt Marti, “I would have expected that from Sara. Does it mean you enjoyed your date?”

Not to act fully embarrassed, I smile, “Yes along with besting Jenna; I think Jake’s a sweet guy.” Seeing Marti’s expression and thinking how she might she might have interpreted ‘sweet’, “I didn’t mean it that way. His Mom isn’t raising any saint, but overall he did well in making me feel like an attractive girl.”

“By the hits Trudy’s getting on your picture from earlier, I already knew guys are seeing you as hot and attractive.”

“Aunt Marti, I didn’t say ‘hot’.” Marti giggles back, “No that came from the comments Trudy has shared with me. I don’t want to imagine what some said that Trudy won’t share.” I flop down in a chair and my dress rides up and Marti giggles. “Now I know why my mother laughed when I did the same thing. But I’m not sure Grandma would be laughing about you.” I scoot over and Marti squeezes in next to me.

“I am glad you had a great time.” She puts an arm around me and it’s more like I’m Sara instead of Melvin. “Will you go out with him if he asks?”

“I’d surely consider it, but I think there are two or three girls there he might get the nerve to ask.”

“How about his old girlfriend, did you get to see her?” I smile, “Yes we were on talking terms, just not too cordial. I hope she thinks twice before showing her fangs and claws. I think one girl interested in Jacob could handle her quite easy, if her status isn’t enough to keep Jenna away.”

“I hope you weren’t a tough girl all evening,” Marti asks with concern?

“Na’, around Jake I was usually a kitten enjoying his strength and size. Plus the dress and stuff feels so nice, it’s hard not to be in a girly mood.” Leaning back turning my head to Marti, she giggles, because I’m so much a girl right then. “Aunt Marti, I should be upset doing things like this but it’s so neat pretending to be a girl.”

“Are you just pretending?”

I ask, “Aunt Marti, are you saying I’m wrong?”

Marti, “No, I’m just not sure if you’re pretending or seeing yourself as Melanie for real.” She draws me to her and I cuddle in her arms. I’m too big to be her daughter, but she’s the closest thing I have as Melanie to a MOM.

“Mom… Marti can you smell another fragrance? In the girl’s room a girl came up next to me to wash and check her makeup. I commented on how nice her fragrance was and I asked what it’s called? She said it’s Craven and just three ounces cost over a hundred dollars. She sprayed it lightly on my right wrist and I touched under my right ear. It is like to die for, but she says she likes Red Door like me. I guess girls know fragrances like most guys know cars and games.”

“We can see if we can find an ounce or so at a reasonable price.” We talk a lot, mostly small talk, we check on Suzi as I listened for the baby again. I’m getting into the different baby watch activities. It’s three o’clock before we get to bed. I know she was up before six; I do good to trudge down by eight. Actually I’m wakened by Sherry jumping and hugging me. After a quick shower I’m dressed with Sherry hugging my legs, pressing her head against me. I get worried as Marti steps into the room.

“I hope that doesn’t bother you, she doesn’t see it the way we do, she’s carefree and innocent. If it bothers you we’d probably need to get a lock on the door to keep her out. But I’m more afraid of them locking themselves in some place.”

I put on a knit dress appropriate for the cold except it barely reaches the knees. I’m going with Sandy to church at ten. She says a missionary is to visit and they have a cute teen son who’s to be with them. She saw him two years ago and said he’s good to look at.

We’re there fifteen minutes early and Sandy’s brazen enough asking his parents if he can sit with the youth in the balcony? Tim just turned seventeen and there are twin sisters, fifteen that come with us. Two younger siblings stay with their parents.

Tim felt bad about me being pregnant; Sandy shouldn’t have told Tim the truth just before his parents are to speak. Tim’s outburst of laughter is very distracting and will probably land him in trouble. Later Tim’s parents are puzzled about what to say when someone says, “He goes against God’s teachings.”

Mr. Larkin’s response to the man was well stated, “God calls me not to judge and love without condition; how to do so is not so easy unless we retreat to ivory towers. I suspect it took a lot of nerve for Mel to take this step if his Dad offered to transfer him to another school.”

One of Tim’s twin sisters for whatever reason told me, “Do you know I’m old enough to have babies too.” I’ve heard similar statements from other girls, so I asked Sandy to explain their thinking.

“Their reacting to many people saying, ‘Women are suppose to have babies; some teens think if they have a baby it will prove they’re adults.’”

I tell her, “But that’s crazy.”

“We will see what happens when your romantic ideas of being a girl a hit an unexpected bump?” Sandy, nor Marti later, nor Mom or anyone, I asked will tell me what’s going to happen, neither would they deny something will happen that I won’t like.

It was the following day during my clinic appointment I get new tastes of things to come. My baby bump gets bigger and heavier as Dr. Kylie tells me I’m now expecting twins. My smile thinking it is funny soon leaves my face. Dr. Kylie attaches a tube from the baby bump and secures it to something on my vagina gaff. I hadn’t noticed it before. She tells me “Between now and three days into Christmas break your bump has a ninety percent likelihood of an occurrence of bleeding that will threaten the lives of one or both babies.”

My mind quickly shifts to a pregnant girl in my grade. I thought such a worry would be hard to accept at our age. I remind myself I’m just pretending, but it doesn’t take my worry away. Somehow it connects me to the babies I’m supposedly carrying. Dr. Kylie’s talking and finally she gets me focused back to what she’s saying. The Doctor says, “I appreciate how sensitive you’re being to this and not wasting our time. You are an unusual guy.”

I said, “I never intended to take it this much to heart, but I appreciate how much you’re helping me to feel the part. I’m afraid of showing up to the emergency room complaining about pretend problems. They will kick me out and laugh I’m sure.”

Dr. Kylie says, “Just the opposite, I and the hospital are set to treat it like a reenactment of the real thing. I hope you won’t be too scared. Your help could help prepare us for the real thing. When it happens to the young woman following you, it will be life and death, if we get it wrong.”

Again many questions go unanswered, but Dr. Kylie tells me she’ll tell me everything if and when problems arise…

Story to be continued…

Melanie, next day at school, attracted many onlookers and many questions. The maternity clothes she had also looked modestly inadequate, which means the need to go shopping. But shopping for maternity clothes doesn’t excite one as much as girls regular power shopping. Several of Ron’s large shirts were given thus over by Marti for Melanie to use. Several pictures were taken to be sent to Ron overseas.

News that Melanie is now expecting at least twins drew the giggles for many girls and ribbing from the guys at school. By Wednesday there were three guys Melanie sees that are sporting shirts, “I’m not the Dad”. Melanie’s home from school and Sherry sits next to Melanie; “Untie Melwanie, yuu owkaay?” Sherry’s standing on the sofa next to her leaning with a hug, brushing Auntie’s hair with her hand. It’s enough to bring Melanie’s defenses down and tears gushing forth into her hands.

“Mummy, Unntie Melwannie’s kwing! Mummy!! Mummy hurwie!” Melanie tries to recover but her plea to Sherry that she’s alright doesn’t sooth anyone as both are now crying. “O no,” Marti’s quick to come, “Are you bleeding already?”

Melanie looks up with mascara painted raccoon eyes. “No, it was just a terrible day at school. Nothing mean, it’s just everyone thinks everything is funny… Boys have shirts saying, ‘I’m not Daddy’ and girls treating me like I’m having a good time. One group got on my case, teasing that I should have had better protection. Penny kept asking who I’d like to be the father of my twins.” I caught my breath, “Mom… I mean Marti. They caught me looking around like I was thinking who the father should be?”

“So were you actually thinking who you’d want as the father?” Marti pauses, “Were you thinking just about a father or a father and husband?” Aunt Marti apologizes and is worries about me when I begin to cry big time.

“I’m okay Aunt Marti, I’m sorry. It’s nothing, but for some reason I cried and when little Sherry cares and hugs me, I just cried more. I don’t like emotions especially when I don’t know where they come from for no reason.”

“Well to those girls and me, you are kinda one of us.” Aunt Marti dares to hug and console her niece despite the risk of the mascara staining her clothes. “O Melanie, you got it bad. You’ll see more of my emotions like this when I’m closer to our due dates.” Melanie looks up and Marti begins to talk about the emotions that often swing more as she gets close to having a baby.

Marti also asked, “Has there been any classmates who became pregnant earlier as you were going through junior high or high school?” When Mel mentioned a girl in eighth grade and another two years ago. She said, “They may have been referring to a question they had then that was never asked or answered.”

Aunt Marti tells me about a time, “Once when I was carrying a vase of flowers that came before Sherry was born, and I turned and dropped them. I began to cry so loud that Ronnie came running to see how badly I was hurt. He began to laugh, ‘O’ its only flowers.’ I cried louder as I drew some of the flowers to me saying, ‘My baby’.”

“Melanie, I wouldn’t let him hug me the rest of the day,” she says smiling.

Marti suggests I take a shower or warm bath, but she doesn’t allow me to take off the baby bump. Since I choose a warm bath she allows me to bathe Suzi. Aunt Marti shampoos and conditions my hair as it is especially hard for me to do. I should have taken a shower for that, but Marti is happy to help me.

School ends a little early on Friday for the Christmas break and I’m getting ready for my date with Trudy. That’s when I discover a red spot on my panties. My plan is not to tell Aunt Marti until Saturday morning, but Melanie isn’t as good of a liar as Melvin.

“What aren’t you telling me Melanie,” Marti asks? I didn’t answer and I don’t dare look her in the eyes. “Melanie if you don’t tell me, I will keep you home from your date with us. Now tell me what’s going on?” It’s nearly 5:00 p.m. when Marti forces the truth out of me. Come 6:00 I’m sitting on a wheel chair registering to be seen in the Emergency Room.

When Dr. Kylie comes into the room I tell her, “It’s your fault you’re not home with your family.”

Dr. Kylie smiles, “You are alright, but your pregnancy might end prematurely. Symptoms like this often are a warning sign to a real girl or woman that she and/or her twins could be in major trouble. Luckily with Pre-natal Intensive Care Units close for many Moms, most cases will be stabilized and kept safe until the babies can be born with their best chance of a healthy survival.”

“Woe, is that what happened last year when Amy Hart stayed in the hospital all those weeks before her babies were born?” Dr. Kylie looks away and tries to tell me, “I guess I don’t know what happened to your classmate last year?”

I said, “Yes you do, it’s just that confidentiality stuff, I understand. But I don’t want such an ugly way of getting out of this pregnancy thing.”

Dr. Kylie tells me, “Well then, you are going to miss Christmas at home and you’ll will be here in the hospital.”

“Isn’t one of those Pre-Natal ICU things awfully expensive for pretending?”

“Yes, but we have enough beds free on the OB/GYN floor, plus the hospital hopes your report will be worth the use.”

I kinda regret my decision, as Dr. Kylie’s exam and the attention are quite embarrassing and gross as well. The hospital gowns are bad enough for a regular person. I’m waiting until Mom or Aunt Marti can bring a nightgown or pajamas. By the time I’m settled in my hospital room, Trudy my date finds me. Having a sheet over me with a nurse checking every fifteen to thirty minutes is not my idea of the romantic night I was hoping for.

Melanie is upset that they’re putting her through this, but Trudy tells her, “It’s to give you an easy out, as well as telling you things aren’t always so sweet and easy as a boy might think, that things aren’t as easy for a girl as a boy thinks.” We exchange a big warm hug and a number of kisses from Trudy that almost makes everything worth it. She says you should think about it with your heart attached.

That evening I’m awaken at 1:00 a.m. by Nurse Kathy telling me I am alright for now. I’m exhausted and my gown is wet from perspiring. I hear a girl’s cry as I awoke. “Why was that girl crying?” Nurse Kathy’s a cute nurse thirty something, “Melanie, I think the girl you heard was you; can you remember anything?”

“I know it’s pretend, but if I tell you that my babies are important will you think I’m crazy or some kind of dumb boy?” Her quick warm smile already begins to help me relax.

“Not at all, while we weren’t sure how you might react, those who already knew you, say you’re a very sensitive boy. This is one of a few possibilities Dr. Kylie thought were possible and positive.” She tells me, “I just went off the clock, if you don’t mind I’ll stay for awhile.”

Melanie says, “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Just close your eyes and see if you’re comfortable enough to sleep.” I close my eyes and I an feel her holding my hand. I smile, “You know, I appreciate you being here.”

I open my eyes to look at her hands. Seeing a wedding ring I ask, “So you must have young children like my Aunt Marti?”

“Close but not yet, I’m three months pregnant with my first. I do have three nieces and a nephew. I’ve been pleasantly jealous of you women coming here and birthing your babies. I will still be here when Marti and you come to give birth to your babies.”

“Well Marti’s will be exciting and wonderful; mind will just be pretend. Do you hope to have a boy or girl most?”

“Well, first I’m praying you will have dreams of having your babies and that it will be something you never forget. As far as I’m concerned, I’d love both. I would prefer a girl because I know Dave won’t stop until he gets a boy or two. I know he’ll be a great Dad for his sons. But I think a little girl will be able to charm us both.” We make a lot of small talk as I eventually drift off to sleep.

I’m awakened at 6:30 in the morning and Kathy’s gone. Another nurse tells me, “Kathy’s giving your morning report and then finally going home.” I begin to tear, “And why do you want to cry,” she asks?”

“I’m just moved that she stayed with me, I thought that was very nice of her.”

“Well you so called sweet boys usually knock up a girl and then don’t show up until the girl goes through all the hard stuff. You gloat over the baby and make promises you won’t keep if you show up at all.” Woe, she’s cynical; I wonder if I could be like that.

It is 7:15 and Kathy pokes her head into the room. “I just want to say good-bye. So how did you sleep?”

“I had one of your dreams and they’re both girls. The first one was the most painful.” Kathy asks if I nursed my babies. Without thinking I say, “I hope I have a dream like that too.”

“Nurse Thatcher responds as she’s checking me, “O gosh, you are bitten with sweetness aren’t you. Well young girl you’ve continued to drip some, so if you want to birth your twins, you will have to earn it.”

Jennifer says, “You needn’t scare her. Melanie, she is correct. If this were Marti it would be hard enough and nerve racking. A first time mother especially someone your age it would be even more so. Your patience and stamina probably would be pressed beyond your limit.” Kathy smiles and pat my hands, “What Dr. Kylie has in store for you will be manageable if you look on the bright side. You can demand to go home and the doctor will take it real easy on you.”

Mom’s coming into the room with Marti and asks, “What’s the bright side?”

Melanie and Nurse Kathy respond simultaneously, “Two daughters.” My mother smiles and looks at me with joy, “What about two daughters?”

I feel a little embarrassed, “I dreamt about giving birth to two daughters. But what can I say that’s what I dreamt.” Mom leans over to give me a kiss and her hand is on my baby bump like she expects to feel the babies. I’m not the only one into what is happening.

Mom and Aunt Marti each have an early Christmas gift. Mom’s is a Pink nightgown with a pretty robe. I giggle when I open and see one of Uncle Ronnie’s football jerseys. He was a 240 pound linebacker in college. He’s now a trim 6’ 3”, 220 pound naval officer in the gulf overseas. Luckily the Jersey has shrunk over six years and is actually snug around my bump.

I wear the nightgown and robe for the first of three walks today. I walk to the end of the hall, past the nursery and turn around. A Candy Stripper is helping and tells me over and over to slow down. On the way back we look into the nursery and count seven babies in their basinets. Once I’m back in and lying down a nurse comes and checks me thoroughly, O’ how embarrassing. She changes a pad and I see some spots, she says I need to be very careful.

Trudy shows up at the hospital and I ask, “I thought you’re scheduled to work.”

“I told them I needed the day off to see you and threatened to call the owner’s wife, Mrs. Kendral.” She smiles, “Ms Kendral asked me to find out if it’s alright that she visits?”

“Did you tell her that is silly?” Trudy quickly, “You can tell her if you want and don’t want a job this spring.”

I got male doctor whose one of Dr. Kylie’s partners; it is especially embarrassing to have Dr. Sam Johnson doing a check-up. And no, Sam is not short here for Samantha. “I’m sorry,” he says as he smirks, “but I’ve never seen a boy in this position before.” Dah, if he thought humor would break the tension he was wrong. The best thing he did was leave the room.

Mom took the opportunity to inform me my brother would soon be home from Europe that his semester of study there is over. I know he is not happy with what I’m doing, so I don’t look forward to his coming home. “That makes staying in the hospital look better. Mom, don’t force him to visit me.”

My phone rings and it is Dr. Kylie and she talks first to my Mom and Aunt. Mom tells me, “Dr. Kylie wants you to stay in the hospital until you go back to school, is that okay with you? She says, really you would have been staying until the babies are born. However, she doesn’t want you to be missing high school.”

I agree to stay; the days up to Christmas pass slowly as I am limited to bed or sitting with my feet dangling. I get to wall the corridor once in the morning and then before or after my evening meal. I pass time going through times of shopping via the internet and maternity publications for what I’d need for the babies when I took them home. “Yipes,” I ask, “How would a single mother handle all of this?” One day a social worker visits and one of the thoughts share is allowing the girls to be adopted. My parents say they would consider raising the girls if they were Sara’s. Aunt Marti says one maybe, but two would be impossible.

Mrs. Hannah Kendral visits the day after Christmas and she brings me a gift. “I compliment you on all you’re putting up with. I’d have no question that a girl could do it. And it would be hard enough on her.” I am surprised how easily we visit and I’m doing so all as Melanie.

“Melanie, I hope you won’t take this as an insult, but I think you’ve become more of a real girl.” There’s a knock on the door and though I can’t see anyone I tell them, “Come in please.” It is Carol the reporter who helped start all of this. Her presence doesn’t please me.

“Well are you surprised to see me?”

“Surprised and disappointed,” is my response.

Hannah comes and stands next to me, “If you are the reporter who did Melvin’s first article; I hope you will be more careful to get things right this time.”

Carol takes a half step back but one can see her setting herself. “Well, even the School Board and the public found in favor of my article.”

Hannah surprises me, “I’ve done better homework and even your fellow reporters have shared what you’d be willing to do for a story. Either you can do all of us favor and either write something good or I’d suggest nothing at all.”

“Are you suggesting I not be truthful?”

Hannah smiles, “Just the opposite. Melanie is now known and a truthful human interest story is all there is. She could… he could even help you to write a good article on others caring about teen mothers and problem pregnancies.”

Carol asks me if I would help her. “I would tell you I haven’t enough experience but I don’t want to be misquoted.”

Carol smiles, “Can I sit and visit a little if I promise to be good?” I knew Hannah was ready to leave so I’m happy to see her sit down again. The visit goes well and Carol takes one picture from the side, another kind of behind me standing and looking into the nursery. Hannah has even brushed out my hair.

Marti and Sherry visit with special permission from Dr. Kylie. That allows Sherry onto the floor to visit.

With two days of not bleeding, Dr. Kylie is considering to discharge me during the weekend. Dr. Kylie says, “If you started bleeding again you’d need to come back and stay in the hospital.” I knew she had taken the tube through which the blood substance went through. So I’m pretty sure I’m safe.

Sandy, Deb and Sharon are over with Sara on New Year’s Eve day. They all chip in to give me a makeover at home. Deb who has an older sister even gives me a back and shoulders massage. Nurse Kathy had spoiled me with them during my hospital stay. Sandy remarks, “Melanie you don’t really need much makeup, your complexion is glowing.” Sharon giggles, “I remember when my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister. She looked radiant most of the time, maybe pregnancy agrees with Melanie. I don’t think I would fare as well if I were in her shoes.”

Deb giggles, “She’s in our shoes.” Everyone including me giggle loud enough to attract Marti. She giggles as well when told what we’re laughing at. Marti present gets me thinking that Marti should be the one enjoying a makeover. I get Suzi up from her nap and change her and begin feeding her. She’s now eating more along with having a small bottle.

The other girls have begun the Makeover, and are surprised when I start giving Aunt Marti a massage. Marti chuckles lightly, “She’s the only grown up girl I usually get around here especially at night.”

Sharon asks, “Doesn’t that upset or embarrass you to have Mel help you?”

Aunt Marti smiles, “You girls have for over two weeks been treating her 100% as a girl. She’s been one of my best friends since she was ten. I’m more comfortable with her doing some things as my niece than I would be if Ronnie were home. She’s been a little godsend.”

Sandy asks, “Do you think like some people that God wouldn’t approve what Mel’s doing?”

“I have no problem with God; we’re doing everything in the light. Melanie probably even has a greater ability to love and accept people now. I’m also sure Mel is more churchy than I am” Marti looks at all the girls as individuals, “You’ve helped the past two months, do you think taking Melanie into the girl’s room or talking to her as another girl made you more sinful?” They looked back at each other, no one thought of that.

When school starts back, our classmates and others in the school are surprised and have a load of fun with the size of the baby bump I am now carrying. Luckily it isn’t until that Sunday the newspaper article comes out about the pregnant boy. The story of young mothers and struggles of those with problem pregnancies is well done. It over shadows the story concerning me.

I had hoped that the baby bump and all my experiences are over, save announcing the two births. But the third week of January my baby bump increases in size and my discomfort becomes even worse. Allyson and Sarai are due to be born the last week of January, with Aunt Marti officially due February 16. Allyson is a variation of my mother’s name and Sari is a variation on my sister’s name.

I am glad I am not having a boy as my brother’s attitude has me angry right now. Aunt Marti confirms for me that male stupidity and sense of humor has a way of getting to a pregnant woman as she gets closer to delivery date.

Memorable dreams are now nightly. Some are about being pregnant or the birth of a child, and of regular life, but they’re all about Melanie.

I’m attending all of Aunt Marti’s Lamaze classes, which have been a blessing. It is one time a week I don’t need to act like I’m having a troubled pregnancy. Watching Marti and my getting up off the floor is a source of amusement for the others taking the class. It also makes for a funny dream with Dr. Kylie having me crawl to the delivery room, saying, “You need to get up on the delivery table; I am not going to deliver the twins while you’re on the floor?”

One of the joys is Trudy continues to grow more precious to me. She and I practice the Lamaze procedures every week on our own. She comes over to help me study and for a movie dates at home. Sherry now takes to giggling because of my size and whenever Trudy tries to kiss me. Trudy is usually trying to be fresh with me but luckily Sherry does not understand that.

It’s January 27th, when Marti falls with a package and Mom and Dad take her to the hospital to be checked out as she was hurting. Marti needs to stay overnight; my Mother and Grandmother stay there late at the hospital with her, while I’m given charge of both nieces for the night. It is pretty certain Aunt Marti is alright and the stay is a precautionary formality.

I haven’t told anyone, but my stay in the hospital and now Marti’s fall and the concern for her pregnancy weigh upon me as Melanie. I have grown attached to the idea of giving birth to healthy babies. Part of me mentally knows I am not really pregnant, but wanting to be a real girl, I feel a need to prove myself to others.

The growing anthem at school by teachers and staff is that I am taking this too seriously about being a girl. Sandy’s house is one of my refuges away from my homes. Sandy’s boyfriend has become very supportive of me as well as Sandy’s time with me. Once I ask if he thought I’m becoming too much of a girl, his reply surprises me, “So what, if Melvin becomes Melanie you might be as well off or better. I don’t remember when I last noticed you before this. You have gained the respect of all who matter, don’t sweat about others.”

Tom is two years older than Sandy or me, but he and I had known each other since we were in grade school and our neighborhood. His young brother is our age and we played together at times. When we were alone once I dared ask, “Tom you are serious about me being a girl?”

Tom has Sandy and me sit down, “Melanie, can you tell me that you wouldn’t rather be a girl?” Sandy tears as I say, “Well of course Melanie would want to be a girl she is one.” Tom knelt before me and presses my hand, “Mel, there is only one person in you; I’m not saying you’re not a boy or a girl. Even when you were growing up; I didn’t think much about it then but you played more with the neighbor girl. You even dressed in her mother’s clothes to play house.”

I had forgotten that but then again I had been sure no one ever saw me do it. I cried and mess up my makeup, but I also refreshed my makeup before going home that night.

It’s Thursday night at 10:00 that Marti gets a call and I am to go into the hospital to have my babies. It’s a slow night at the hospital and both Dr. Kylie and Nurse Kathy are on duty to deliver my babies. I thought it would be a simple thing of me going in a room and maybe having to stay overnight and coming home with two dolls or a certificate. Mom, Dad, Sara, as well as Aunt Marti, one grandma and Trudy are soon there. Now I’m thinking things will be that simple…

Story to be continued…

When I am wheeled into the hospital, Aunt Marti puts an overnight bag on the little lap I have remaining. I get my name tag around my wrist and I’m asked about insurance and for more information than I have. They say they have to call the administrator about whether I can be admitted or if I need to go to another hospital. I have to wait over twenty minutes and I am getting annoyed. I’m told, “You getting upset will not be helpful for the babies. You need to relax and be a good mother.”

“If I were a real expecting Mom would you be doing this?” I’m told it happens which does not endear me to those who are to admit me. It is another ten minutes, with a nurse checking to see if I’m dilating yet. Finally I get my official wrist band identifying me, my doctor and the official time I am admitted. I’m told the clock is running and that I’d regularly have twenty-four hours from now to stay in the hospital.

“Since you are early and expecting twins you will atleast have an added day and the babies will probably remain here until your regular due date, March 14.” My blood pressure has actually risen by the time I get to the labor room. I’m upset again as I expected to be in the delivery room already and soon to be done. Nurse Kathy tells me it will likely be hours before I’m ready for the delivery room. The Charge Nurse comes in and tells me Dr. Tim Johnson will be delivering my babies. I am relieved when Kathy steps up to tell her Dr. Kylie is coming into deliver these babies.

The Charge Nurse muffles her voice, but I hear her say, “She better not let the patient in 5024 know she’s here. She’s no happier than Melanie about having Dr. Johnson.”

Kathy assures me later when I ask, “Dr. Johnson is really a very good doctor; it is just his bedside manner is not up to Dr. Kylie’s. If she’s in the hospital she often assists some of the deliveries.”

Mom and Trudy are both allowed to scrub and dress for being with me in the labor room. I am grossed out about my legs being put into stirrups. Then, it’s like a spirit comes over me and I feel like Melanie’s really having the twins. Suddenly I’m proud to have my feet in the stirrups as I’m being treated as a girl. Once Nurse Kathy announces I’m dilated 3 centimeters, Mom excuses herself saying she’s going to allow Aunt Marti to come in her place for a moment.

“Mom you’re going to leave me when I’m having the baby?”

“Relax Sweetie it will likely be hours before you go into labor, I’ll be back in. I just thought Aunt Marti’s been like your mother too. Plus I don’t want her staying up too late, you’re not the only one who is pregnant you know,” Mom giggles as does Trudy.

Even with her holding one of my hands, I almost forgot Trudy’s here. I look down to my spread legs and ask, “Am I properly covered?” Kathy announces, “Modesty is not easily kept in labor and delivery. I guess it might be even harder on a boy in here.”

Trudy says, “Right now we’re only interested in Melanie.”

Another two hours passes before Kathy announces I am dilated 5 cc and things are likely to start to happen.

I am taken into an older delivery room and set up for giving birth to my babies. Dr. Kylie moves between my legs, “I’m going ahead and breaking your water.” I don’t know what she did but I feel a noticeable prick and then water rushing out of some place over my bottom. Dr. Kylie moves back, takes off soiled gloves and asks Nurse Kathy, “Please clean her off. I’ll be right back I’m going to tell Dr. Johnson he’s back on his own. Young lady, you are about to have your babies.”

‘Right back’ is another forty minutes; Mom and Trudy are told to time me for every five minutes when I should be having contractions and pain growing more severe. Mom tells me, “The pain now should be like when you put your wrist through the storm window.” More anxiety about what is happening, than pain. It is thirty minutes later though it only seems like ten; the contractions are less than two minutes apart. Mom tells me, “It’s now like the time you were attacked by the large dog on my paper route.”

I say, “That was painful and frightening.” Mom says, “Exactly, especially for the first time mother like you.” Dr. Kylie is talking to me and telling me she is not fully sure if one baby is able to freely move around the other or the exact positions of the babies. I can feel her wet hands on me. I give a faint grunt when she tells me to push. “That’s not even good acting in drama 101. Now push and hold it ten-fifteen seconds, I’ll tell you when to stop.” I curl forward and give a grunt and hold it. Kathy has put two pillows behind me and they are not comfortable. I complain about the discomfort.

Dr. Kylie asks my Mom, “How was it to deliver Melanie, Mom?”

“I thought being the third baby she would be easier, but she was bigger and the pain meds worked too slowly.” Trudy is telling me to take freshening breaths. And then Dr. Kylie tells me, “Push again and continue to push. You’re crowning.”

Mom asks, “Remember when you broke you arm and the doctor had to reset it?”

“That was my worst pain ever,” I tell her. “This would be worse and you have to push against the full force of the pain.”

“Why would a woman want all that pain,” I ask?

Mom says, “Because you want the baby more. Do you want your twins enough or not?” I smile because Mom knows I do, but I hadn’t thought of things this way.

“Does this mean we’re about through?” Kylie responds, “It means I can see the top of the first baby’s head and the serious part is about to begin. …Okay push again.”

Trudy says, as Dr. Kylie asks me to push again, “I can’t hear you?” I say, “Yes.”

“Push and show me you want this baby even as much as it hurts.” She says, “Push and start to scream lightly,

“That’s more like a young lady, not a mother delivering a baby,” Dr. Kylie grins as she encourages me.

“Do women scream when they’re having a baby?” I ask.

Kathy smiles, “Some sound more like an angry trucker.”

“You mean they swear?”

Mom smiles, “Not me of course, but some swear like a drunken sailor!” I think they’re exaggerating, but I’m not sure.

Dr. Kylie laughs, “Remember women, we are sharing privileged information with a male just visiting in our domain.” Every one laughs but me, I’m not use any of this as Trudy tells me to push again and scream, “Ah, ah” and I hold it.” “Ah, ah, aaaaahhh!” Kylie asks me to continue, “Oohhh, nnooo crappp!”

I lose track of pushes, contractions and time. I do feel like I’m getting tired as it has to be atleast 3:00 a.m. in the morning. She announces one shoulder is through with the last push and now when I push again she tells me the baby is coming but I need to hold my pushing until she tells me to begin again. I hear her describe the baby being born. There’s the sound of a baby crying, it’s my baby. I start crying for joy and try to see the baby. My bump limits my view of the baby covered with water and some blood. She is put on top of me. Another nurse takes the baby to be cleaned and weighed. The baby looks real enough though smaller and gangly instead of a fatter bundle with a big head of hair.

I ask, “So what is the baby boy or girl? Is she healthy?” I see Trudy and Mom both beaming. Trudy wipes my face and it feels good but I’m anxious. When Kathy brings the baby back over she says, “It’s a baby girl; let’s see if we can get her to nurse a little.” I feel something latch onto one of my tits; I’m not sure what they’re doing. “Stop that it hurts.” Dr. Kylie points to my Mother, “Yes it did when you started to nurse from me.” The image of me nursing from my Mom sends mixed feelings. I really don’t like the image of breastfeeding from my mom, but I remember seeing Aunt Marti doing it and it gives me a good feeling that I could nurse too.

It feels like ten minutes when Dr. Kylie says it’s over an hour, and they begin having me push and gain the feeling contractions. Dr. Kylie sounds worried despite she’s trying to sound relaxed. “Melanie, I will tell you like I am talking to a regular mother. The second baby has its cord around its neck which is dangerous. I will try to unwrap it, but we might soon be changing over to do a C-section to be safe.

Kathy is speaking into an ear telling be to “Begin pushing and feel that things are out of your control. Know this one will last unusually long and there’s little you can do. Your body will want to do what you are asked not to.” I hear Dr. Kylie speaking, but I don’t know what she’s saying until I hear “No, no, don’t push! I don’t want you to push.” But Kathy says my body still wants to push and that I need to push. I’m trying to listen to both. I know it’s not real, yet it is very real to me. I’m afraid, until I hear Dr. Kylie tell me, “We’re safe; I got the cord from around her neck.”

We still have the contractions, pushing and more descriptions of pain and fatigue. My bottom feels gross. Everything is now running together and I am listening to Dr. Kylie and Trudy’s instruction. I squeezed Mom’s hand too hard and the next time it’s Trudy who complains about my squeezing her hand too hard.

The way Dr. Kylie is describing it; I can almost feel the second baby come through the birthing canal to be born. I cry and joy rushes over me as I relax with the second baby being born. Dr. Kylie lifts up a small hose with gunk covering it and she puts two clips on it. “Trudy would you cut this between these two tied off areas?”

Trudy smiles “Can I?” She cuts the baby’s umbilical cord.

Both babies are girls and they look good to me but scrawny from the babies I’ve seen. I’m told they are both around four pounds with one a bit heavier. Dr. Kylie reminds me they’re premature and not fully developed. She says, “If you are lucky as they might only take two weeks to be up over five pounds and able to go home, but their lungs and organs need to be fully developed.”

Dr. Kylie shows be an ultra-sound picture of twins, I know even twelve hours ago it wouldn’t have meant very much or feel as beautiful as it does now. I ask her, what likely wouldn’t be as developed as such with babies at this point. She tells me their lungs, digestion, and maybe their eyes.

“I would be anxious about those things, wouldn’t I?”

“Your Mom and Aunt Marti should be very proud of you young man/Melanie.” Kathy and Steph the other nurse compliment and affirm what Dr. Kylie says.

The nurses clean me up and take me to my room, 5032 at the end of the hall. While I was lying down Kathy had changed my breast forms to a full C-cup and stated that by nursing they might continue to grow larger temporarily. She tells me, “One of your two babies will actually be easier and quicker to nurse than the other.”

I am tired and want to sleep, but my mother strongly encourages me to see those who waited during my delivery. Trudy gives me a very passionate kiss and hug before she goes out to allow others to come in. Dad, Sara and Grandma all come in, even though visitors are usually to two at a time. It is funny as the babies are now in room with me in their bassinets. I have no trouble telling the twins apart despite being identical twins. Sarai is said to be four ounces heavier, she has a pronounced dimple and I think wider eyes, even though others say they’re not different.

Sara picks up Sarai who wakes and starts to cry; I turn on the light and call for a nurse to come turn the baby off. An older nurse comes and informs me, “Babies do not have off switches,” which I knew. I need to figure out if Sarai needs to be changed or nursed. The nurse and I decide she needs both and I am to nurse her first. Luckily Sarai nurses easily. Dad chuckles at the sight of me burping and changing her. I ask him to leave as I’m embarrassed more with his presence.

Sara then holds Sarai as Dad and Grandma change with those now in the waiting room. I thought it would my Mom and Aunt Marti, but Sandy and Sharon come in saying they’re my lost sisters. I get frustrated trying to get Allyson to nurse. I’m ready to call the nurse again when Sandy helps to get her to attach and suck my breast. It takes three times to get her to stay sucking. Sharon and Sandy both take pictures, promising not to share them. I don’t know how the mechanical doll sucks or that the beast form actually has a bladder of fake milk.

Upon burping Allyson, I’m struggling not too sleep and Sharon is nice enough to change and hold my baby. They say I visited another ten minutes but I don’t remember our visit or them leaving. Mom says I fell asleep at 5:30 and despite others checking me, I don’t wake up until 8:00 a.m.

I’m disappointed that Dr. Kylie had already been in and won’t be back until late afternoon. After lunch they get me up a second time, but inform me I will be going home yet today: “Because your insurance won’t allow you to stay longer. We’re sure it is a computer cliché on the insurance company’s side, but if it is not, you would have to pay over $1,500 more for you. We will keep the babies, but you might have over $30,000 thousand or more to pay as they say you do not have the extended coverage of their premium plan.”

I pump two extra bottles but would need to come early in the morning, 5:00 a.m. early on Sunday. Dr. Kylie informs me in the afternoon, “You will be taking Sarai and Allie home Sunday at noon so Marti is not tending after you and so you can attend her needs. And you’re to be treating the babies as real will end when Aunt Marti comes in to give birth to her baby.”

I ask Dr. Kylie whether Aunt Marti is having a boy or girl. She knows, but she won’t tell me. I knew Marti doesn’t want to know but I wanted to know. Having big breasts and a nursing bra are great if you want to impress someone, but they are not great for fashion and the breasts tend to drip if one is too active.

Dr. Kylie tells me, “I am giving you three to five days of being back in school and having to nurse and care for the babies. Your Mom can watch them only while you’re in school. During that time and more so after, I want you to focus on helping your Aunt Marti. Do we have an agreement?”

Monday, the first day I’m back in school, most guys are quickly ogle, eyeing my larger breasts. A number of the girls are asking me how I felt, and if I had boys, girls or one of each. Many seemed to know some things, but say Sandy, Sharon, even my girlfriend Trudy told them I needed to be the one to tell them. The girls try to talk privately to me, especially in the girls’ restroom, home economics and at the table of girls during lunch.

We all know it’s not real but it’s fun to talk about everything. Several girls volunteer to show me the size of a real vagina. It’s not that I’m not interested, but I want it to be a more intimate and romantic setting.

Ms Braun calls me to her office and tells me, “You are to be using today’s study class to begin your special report. Knowing you need to be helping your Aunt Marti and keeping up your studies, we will give you ten days after your Aunt’s baby is born to finish your report.” She smiles, it’s a different smile; “You are to stay in my office as your mother is bringing the twins to be taken care of. Please do not tell others or this privilege will be taken away, do you understand?”

“Thank you.” My Mother and Father bring in the twins and my Mom stays as I nurse them and change diapers. Mom visits about me helping Aunt Marti more and more especially with Sherry and Suzi. Mom shares pictures she has of me in the delivery room with Trudy helping me. They are neither a work of art nor very flattering. “Sweetie, I share them to show how much you’ve given of yourself to this experience. I want you to know we am proud of you and hope your report will be worthy of what you have done and learned. I will help you however I can if you want my help.”

Mom asks, “Are you looking forward to things returning to normal after this is all over?” Mom and I stare at each other as I begin changing the twins.

“Mom, can I share something without you lecturing or freaking out on me?”

Mom says, “Yes, but we will probably need to talk more when you’re over for family dinner.”

“Mom when this started, I thought Melanie was just someone pretend like the twins kinda are; now I’m not sure.” Mom comes over as I put Allyson down. She gives me a hug, “I suspected you might tell me when you felt like Melanie might be you?”

“I talked about it with my counselor in December and two times since, but I think Melanie has been me longer.”

Mom hugs me, brushing my hair out of my eyes, “Does it frighten you or make you feel good?”

I’m surprised Mom seems to understand, “Mom, did you know? Did the counselor tell you or what?”

“Honey I suspected something back as early as November and I know you have wrestled with this before. I talked to Dr. Kylie and she has visited with your counselor. We agreed, we would wait for you to share. Your Father and I have used the time to learn some things to. Sara, Trudy and Aunt Marti have talked to me, but only Sara and my sister know a little of your past. All I can say for now, is I love you. Your Dad and I are here for you.” It is like nothing has changed and everything has changed.

“Mom if Aunt Marti is home would you take the twins there and put them down for a nap?”

During Study Hall, Sandy visits with me as I begin my report. “Melanie, Trudy told me how you were in the labor and delivery room. Sharon and I were happy that we could be there at the hospital with your sister. It is kind of funny that a boy helps us appreciate being young women.”

“You know Sandy, I thought I was being goofy in doing this stuff, but having friends like you, Trudy and then Sharon made things a lot easier for me.” I’m now fighting tears, “When you and Sharon came into visit I was deeply moved and thankful for all the time I’ve had being Melanie?”

Sandy asks, “Do you think, it is going to be easy going back to Melvin?”

“What kind of a question is that?” Sandy takes away my tablet, “I think you know what I am asking? We have another TG student, so it’s not like if you change, it would be totally new.”

“Whether you’re Melanie for two weeks or longer, I would like to go shopping with you for more clothes.” Sharon is coming over to our table, “Does that mean she’s willing to go shopping with us?” Sandy and I both giggle out loud till the teacher tells us to be quiet.

Sandy and Sharon both come to my house after school; they want to stay as I need to nurse the twins again. The three of us have fun with Suzi and Sherry. Suzi is able to walk on her own now and talk saying ‘Mommy’ and more. Aunt Marti invited Sandy and Sharon to stay for pizza, saying, “Trudy is coming over to eat too.”

Marti shows me she has a copy of Mom’s pictures from the babies being born. I tell her, “I don’t want her to show or talk about these pictures until we’re alone with Trudy.” After Sandy drove Sharon home, we shared the pictures even though Sandy had come back.

Sandy and I wash two loads of clothes for Aunt Marti. And when we began to talk about the pictures, the discussion quickly changes to Marti and her coming baby. “You know Melanie; you’ve become a valuable helper to your Aunt. The fact she is open to you being there says a lot about you as a niece.”

I try to tell it’s always been planned this way, but she shushes me. Trudy implies more, “She was being real nice in taking you in but the Lamaze classes and this. She’s confided in me as well as your Mom and Sis. I think your Mom, her sister would have been going in with her. I’m only telling you because you should sense how honored you are.” I didn’t think and now I’ speechless.

The following day, I move Sarai and Allyson in with me; Sand and I prepare the nursery for Marti’s baby. With Mom’s permission, Sara and I buy a basinet for in Marti’s room. Late that night I get a text from Uncle Ron. Mom and I are to inform him when the baby has arrived. He will probably be there within a week or two of the baby’s birth, but tells me it is to be a surprise. “I am so happy Mel; you are making this time for Marti so much easier, your consequence has been a blessing for us….

Story to be continued…

There will only be two more days of filling my breastforms so the girls can nurse. A funny thing with nothing to activate and cause the babies to cry, I could technically sleep the whole night through. But again tonight I wake at 3:30 a.m., first I check Allyson and open my nightgown to nurse her. It has become a time of solitude in a busy world. I find I am more reflective now and I’ve come to treasure times like this.

I am glad the babies are in my room and what Sandy and I have done to prepare for Marti’s baby. It is like the nursery is brighter, anticipating a baby who will coo as well as cry. I look forward to giving Aunt Marti my primary attention. ‘But will I cling to my babies for awhile; how long before I willingly return them to the hospital. I am sure I can fain distraction while Marti is in the hospital or miss my next appointment with Dr. Kylie. It really isn’t so much the babies as I am holding onto Melanie through them. Crazy as it seems to the thinking of Melvin, how can I tell anyone I want to be Melanie that I like being a girl?’

I changed Allyson and put her back into the toy crib and have Sarai to nurse. I can imagine a smile as she nurses and the pride I have as a mother. I continue to contemplate: ‘I feel a bit guilty, but I love Trudy in a different way being Melanie. Melanie even loves her more than boys. I kinda wish I continued to sneak pills. Lord knows I have enough as some girls have given me some of theirs and other girls have said they’re willing too if I want them.’

I hear Aunt Marti is up waddling her way to relieve her bladder; oops she’s in the hallway and will likely see my light under the door. Sure enough she opens my door a crack. “I thought you might be getting up at night to nurse your babies. Surely you make a very good mother and I’m lucky to have you watching over me. I want to thank you and Sandy again for setting up the nursery, it all looks beautiful and ready for the baby. The bassinet Sara and you bought is darling; it is like one I wanted to buy when I first had Sherry.”

Aunt Marti sits on my bed and we talk. “Your Mom and I think this one is another girl. I know Ronnie and the Grandparents all want a boy to carry on the family name. I’d love a little boy as well”

I tell Marti, “Your daughters will have to find a husband willing to take their family name; someone said marriage certificates indicate it is possible for the man to change his name.” Marti smiles, “I wouldn’t be surprised that a daughter of mine would be strong enough to get that done, but I’m not interested in marrying them off right now.” Marti giggles, “Would you be willing to change your name for Trudy.” I blush and Marti giggles even louder. “You know she is quite smitten with you?”

“Yes, I’m afraid more so with Melanie than with Melvin.”

“Yes, you will be going back to Melvin soon. I was hoping to see Melanie shopping for a Prom dress with her sister.” My expression changes with the thought of being Melvin, opposed Melanie. Aunt Marti doesn’t say anything even though she noticed my eyes perk up at the idea. “I better get my sleep as I will need my rest for when the baby comes. Plus, I shouldn’t confuse your head with silly ideas.”

“Aunt Marti, if I stay here to help you after the baby comes, even delay going back to being Melvin; would you help me to go to a prom with Trudy dressed as a girl?”

“Woe, Dr. Kylie already told you, you need to go back to being Melvin before too long. Anyway what do you think Trudy would say about that?”

“Trudy and I are stronger friends now, but I’m afraid Melanie is the one she feels a deeper affection for. And even if she wouldn’t go with me, Travis and Nate have already asked if I would go with them.”

“Oh”, Marti hugs me with some concern, “you need to put Sarai to rest and then get some yourself please.” I did fall back to sleep, but it’s a restless sleep.

I’m happy that some of the baby bump is gone, much of the weight; but I didn’t realize changing back took time and the woman’s body didn’t just snap back like it was before. My skirts still needed to be bigger than normal; it looks more like I am out of shape. My tops need to be bigger around my bust; Sandy and Sharon say I looked like Dolly’s little sister. Friday after school I have my last appointment with Dr. Kylie. It would be the first time I don’t bring the babies.

Dr. Kylie gets upset, “Melanie, you have been very good and there is no way this is an accident that you did not bring them.” ‘Me?’ “Yes, both Mel and Melanie have been much too good and responsible. I suspect this is the prankster school officials weren’t use to believing.” I froze and stared into space thinking about what Dr. Kylie said.

“Marti,” Kylie was speaking to her, “how have her grades been through all of this?”

Aunt Marti perked up with her response, “Melanie finished the first half of the year quite strongly. Mrs. Crowley, her advanced composition teacher called this week; she was checking whether I knew if Melanie might have someone writing her papers for her. I assured her that I too am impressed with her papers, and I proofread them. I have seen the research she does before she begins to write.”

“You didn’t tell me that Aunt Marti? Mrs. Crowley even congratulated me yesterday on the paper I got back.”

Dr. Kylie said, “This is why I don’t want that prankster part of you to go back to ruling your life. You need to learn how to let your hair down without going overboard.”

“What can I do to still feel like a mother a little bit longer, if I bring the babies back? The school said I was to continue a little while after Aunt Marti’s baby came”

Dr. Kylie looks serious as she says, “Don’t tell me you have the babies down in the car.” I smile, “No, Aunt Marti told me that would not go over well. But I can get a ride here from one of the girls at school and have them here tomorrow. Are you going to answer my question?” Tomorrow is a school day.

Dr. Kylie thought for a moment, “I suggest you buy some dolls that you can keep and enjoy. This experience will be with you for years to come, two baby size dolls could be a helpful reminder.” Dr. Kylie sat me down as she felt the need to remind me: “Remember, I want you to get back to being Melvin. If you still want to do something when school ends we can talk about it then.”

It feels like she used a shotgun to blow holes in my sails. The rest of the day is spoiled. Even Sandy and Trudy calling didn’t change things.

With a goodnight’s rest I’m back to being myself, ha, being Melanie. Marti wakes me, “Hey Melanie, if you want to go shopping, you’ll need to get up and get some things done first.”

“Why can’t I just sleep in? I should get some regular girl time.” No, this isn’t my first time with an attitude. Since the New Year started, Aunt Marti’s seen it half a dozen times. Aunt Marti throws me a bag; I grab what’s inside and pull it until I recognize Melvin’s clothes. “I get your point that it’s cold.” I look to Marti and both of us are hurting. I’m quickly up and giving her a hug, “I’m sorry Aunt Marti”

‘I’m sorry too. I thought I’ve been giving you ample time, but I’m going to need you more not less.”

“Are you okay Aunt Marti? Do you need me here? I’m sorry that I got my panties twisted in a knot.” Aunt Marti laughs and Sherry comes running into the room. “Mommy you okay, Untee Melwanie you be good.” Next it’s Suzi crying.

“Aunt Marti, do you want me to get breakfast or Suzi?” I mix up some pancake batter, start some sausage and get out the orange juice. Marti already has the coffee brewing. I’m not sure how Sherry got her, but she is carrying Sarai into the kitchen. Luckily it is not a real baby. Marti gets into the kitchen with Suzy to see the last of Sheri handing me the baby. We both lightly giggle knowing she sees Sarai as a baby doll.

Marti plunks Suzi in the high chair, “Why don’t you nurse your babies while I finish breakfast.”

My eyes tear as I know this is one of the last times. “Aunt Marti, I know she’s not real but this is…” “Don’t apologize Melanie, I’m crying too.” It’s a funny sight; I’m nursing Sarai as I get out Suzi’s Sippy cup for some juice.

Marti tells me, “Sit down, you won’t see me doing something while nursing a baby.”

“I hope you remember that Aunt Marti, but I’ve already seen you do it and I’m sure Sara has seen it too.”

When I look down by Marti’s feet and I’m alarmed. “Aunt Marti, I need you to go lay down on your bed.” She turns around and looks at me and I point to the floor near her feet.

“Thanks, but don’t be alarmed.” I point toward her room. I call Mom on my cell phone and tell her about a spots of water and blood on the floor. Mom will be here in minutes and I call Sandy next. Sandy begins by giggling, “You’re early girl.”

I tell her, “No Sandy, I need to know if you or your mom can come over quickly, Aunt Marti is spotting.” Sandy’s the first to arrive as she ran over, Mom and Dad are next only because Dad cut-off Sandy’s Mom at the corner. I placed Suzi on the bed with her Mom and ask Marti to roll enough so I can get a towel under her.

I would have been at the head of the bed with my Dad, but I was at the foot end in Melanie mode. Mrs. Johnson gave me a hug, “She’s going to be okay, but you did a great job in calling for help.” I could see my Mom shaking her head. I wasn’t sure if she shook her head because I did a good job or because I’m her son.

“Melanie, please get me a clean cloth and a bowl with warm soapy water. Dear why don’t you and Sandy take your nieces to play in the living room and Caroline and I will look after Marti.” Dear is Dad, not me. After I bring the warm soapy water, I go and kneel next to Marti and hold her hand. I guess Mom and her know she’s alright, Marti is smiling.

I ask, “Why are all of you smiling?”

Mom looks up and looks me in the eyes, “Because we are all proud and amazed by the great niece Marti has.” I’m fighting tears, mostly because I’m happy. Mrs. Johnson went out to check on the girls and the next thing we hear is laughter. She just noticed, Sandy had run two blocks in her teddy bear pajamas. Adding to the laughter I searched for a tight skirt and small blouse for Sandy. Caroline Johnson made up more batter and cooked everyone a pancake breakfast.

Mom had calls Dr. Kylie and she will see Aunt Marti at 10:30 a.m. at the clinic. Every one ate breakfast; even Marti ate a little and drank some juice and water. We took an overnight bag for Aunt Marti just in case.

Sandy stayed with Suzi and Sherry while we took Marti to the clinic and Mrs. Johnson went home. I would have stayed home but I already promised to bring the babies back today. Marti is taken immediately into an exam room and Mom goes in with her. No sooner does Sara arrive in the office and a nurse calls me into the back with my babies and she puts me into another exam room. She tells me, Kim Kelley, their Nurse Practitioner, will be right in.

Kim is soon into see me. She asks, “Melanie, I need for you to take off your blouse; the special breast forms need to be taken off.” I feel as she is saying it, that it is emotionally hitting me. Kim lightly takes my hand, “Don’t worry, we understand.” I look her in the eyes and there is a gentle smile of support. I begin to unbutton my blouse and finally my bra. I lay back on the exam table.

Kim talks to me as she uses the solution to work through the glue attaching the breast forms to my chest. “So Melanie, tell me what all you’ve enjoyed about your experience so far?”

“Well it’s not now that’s for sure and we don’t have time for all of it.”

Kim says, “We have time, these forms have a lot of glue holding them onto your chest. It will take some time to work them off unless you want me to pull like taking a band-aid off. The word is you have been a very good mother all the way through.”

I feel good in talking to her and smile as we talk. When I mentioned taking the birth control pills and some other hormone pill; she asks me, “Are you ready to go off the hormone blocker?” I had forgotten I had even taken the shots for the blocker. “No, I hope I don’t have to go off it today.”

“I guess I never expected I would really feel like I was having the experience, but Dr. Kylie has treated me extra special. I’m surprised for a boy that she’d do what she did.”

Kelly asks, “Did you always feel like you were a boy as you went through everything?”

I look up into Kim’s face, “You already know the answer, so why do you ask?”

She says, “It is important to hear your thoughts. Dr. Kylie treated you special because we try to do that with each of our moms. Plus we’ve been impressed with the support you’ve received from family and friends. You know not every girl is as fortunate as you.”

Dr. Kim lifts off the breast forms as they come loose; I’m surprised that they are not as big as they look when I’m wearing them or in relation to how heavy they feel. She helps the nurse clean me off and to sit up. I feel naked as I want to hurry and put a bra on. Kim is pressing around my chest and touching my nipples. I don’t notice my chest but I feel my nipples responding to her touch. They are not only sensitive but I smile at how they feel.

Kim has me look down, “I don’t know if you can tell but your nipples are larger than they were and your breasts are puffy a good inch and a half around the nipple. That is with the breast forms having been pressing them down; it is possible they will be noticeably puffier without the larger forms. …Now I will again ask do you want me to give you the medicine to counter the testosterone blocker.”

“What will happen if I don’t?”

“The blocker will still be working through the month and might take another month to be completely out of your system. Seemingly some of the female hormones you took were strong enough to affect more of a change. Dr. Kylie can and should explain this more. We expected ant female hormones to have run their course. Neutralizing the blocker with a testosterone supplement should cause that to go down quickly. Not to use the supplement could prolong the changes into March, maybe even April by what I see has happened.”

“We officially need to have your permission to begin a new treatment as well as have your mother to approve it.”

“Well then I will wait and have to talk with my parents about what you said.”

“Well I will see if they are done with your Aunt so you and your mother can make the decision.”

“No, that won’t be necessary because I’m not doing it today.”

I smile, “Can I change the topic; I would like you to ask my sister to come back here. I can’t wear this bra and I feel naked without one.”

Kim says to me, “Unless you think she has spare clothes in the car, I don’t think she is going to have one with her.”

“You’re probably right, but Sara has become my big sister as I’ve been going through this. I just need to talk to someone and Mom’s busy.”

Dr. Kelly says, “Well I do have a bra with me; it should fit you except the cup size will be a little big. I keep a change of clothes here, but I don’t want it to appear that I am enabling your decision.”

I blush, “I’d like to do that if you’re willing but I’d like to ask my sister first.” Sara tells me when she comes in, “Aunt Marti is okay but she’s going to need bed rest all weekend.” She teases me about thinking she would have an extra bra with her. But together she and I have enough to pay for Kim’s bra so I don’t need to return it. The bump can come off but the skirt won’t fit properly.

It’s nice to wait for Aunt Marti back in the waiting area, to see her come out with a smile and relaxed is great. It changes my focus onto what’s important. Aunt Marti has been given permission to rest at home if she promises to be good. It’s 1:00 when we have Aunt Marti resting at her house and Mom tells me to change and go shopping with Sara for what I need. I wasn’t going to go, but Mom insists. “I’ll watch your Aunt this afternoon so you should go. You’re going to be watching your Aunt very closely the next two weeks if the baby waits that long.”

It feels nice but strange to wear the regular breast forms again. Sara helps me put them on and she notices that I now had small breasts buds and soft tissue. I tell Sara, “I’ll tell you, Marti and Mom when we return from shopping. Dr. Kelley said they will shrink back and I’ll be a regular boy in time.”

Once I’m changed and ready to go, I check with Mom and Dad as I need to know the limit of what I can spend. Mom hands me a list and I take a look:
1-2 skirts, 2-1 jeans or slacks;
blouses, sweaters, and camis;
knee high socks, pantyhose, stockings
2 bras and 6 panties
2 dolls (that you’ll want to keep)

Sara is looking over my shoulder, she points to the dolls, “That’s a neat idea.” I point to the stockings, “Mom, why stockings?”

Mom replies as eyes light up, “Let Sara help you select a nice pair. You should have the experience once or twice. Then you can answer your own question.” Mom takes me to the side, “The bra you got from Kim is real cute; you should spend a little extra to get one like it in the right cup size plus a push up insert. You might need to go to a nice lingerie shop though. You can use your credit card for most of it, but this is some sanity money to splurge.”

Sara mentions picking up Sandy as we’re ready to go out the door. Dad comes over and hands me fifty dollars, “Please make sure you treat Sandy along with telling her and her mom thanks for us.” I give Aunt Marti a kiss as well as my parents. I pick up Sheri as we’re taking her with us.

I speed dial to Trudy; she should be getting off work. I get her answering message, “Trudy, I’m heading out shopping with Sara and Sandy, if you can meet as at Oakridge Mall. I’m shopping for two dolls as well as some new outfits.”

Once we’re in the door at Sandy’s, Sara jokes with her, “What you’re not wearing your pajamas to go shopping?” I add, “I wish I had realized what you did, I didn’t get to enjoy it.”

Sandy holds her own retorting, “I wore this outfit thinking it showed about as much and looks prettier.” She’s right as she turns around showing off her colorful mini-dress. Her tights and her medium length coat will give just enough protection from winter elements.

Trudy calls back, “Where were you this morning?”

“I’ll tell you when we’re together; suffice to say everyone is alright now.”

“You can’t say that and not tell me…”

Sara tells me as she clicked off my phone, “I bet you’ll be hearing it, for hanging up on her.” I couldn’t believe my sister would do that today.

We pull into the north lot at the mall as Trudy rings, “I’m here, but where are you?”

“We’re parking now; we’ll be at our spot in two minutes.”

“Great, but tell Sara, I’ll get her for cutting our call off.” ‘Yes, that’s my Trudy!’

Sara giggles, “How’d she figure that out?”

“She sensed the dark side of the force, Evil Sister.” Sandy brakes out giggling to the point she snorts twice. We both look at her wondering how petite Sandy could do that.

We all give Trudy a hug as we met, and Trudy kisses me. It was short, sweet and delightful, it catches me as a pleasant surprise as she hasn’t done that in public. We sit near the fountain and update Trudy with all that happened.

We hoped to have oodles of fun; shopping for the lingerie and dolls will be the most fun. Sara insists that I get both the pretty bra and the silicone inserts to push up what I have. Our associate at Victoria’s helps me find three bras from which to choose. While all three will fit, it takes trying them with the inserts to rule out one and leaving me two nice choices. When, we all agree on the same bra Sandy giggles, “That is unusual.” Kathy our sales girl whispers a suggestion to Sara, “I think your sister might look better with something to enhance her hips and buns, but I’m not sure she’d be open to me saying something.”

Sara, “Hey Sis stay in the changing room, I’m getting something else I’d like you to try.” I guess Trudy quickly shook her head in agreement. Kathy had quickly opened the packaging.

I say, “Really, you think I should, how about Mom?” I hear the three of them muffle their giggles. I undressed and ask for the new mini-dress I purchased. The look is a drastic change and gets a quick response as I step out to get their opinions. “OMG look at you Melanie,” Sandy says as she pulls me to a full length mirror. She mimics my niece, “Ut O, Untie Melwanie, I thwnk my Daddy wouwd say yor hot. Weil that be okay wit yor Mommy?” Trudy steps up for a close look, and gives a mock sizzling sound as she touches my hips.

“I think Mom will be okay with it as long as you’re not having s e x. and Dad doesn’t see you,” Sara says as she nudges me. I slide my hands down my side not believing I have hips and it is my body we’re talking about.

Trudy asks a salesgirl, “Will it be okay if she wears all of that out of the store?” I head for the door when Kathy says yes. Trudy catches me, “Dah girl, it means you get to wear it while we still shop. You need to stay in here to get your other clothes and pay for things.” I turn red with embarrassment. Waiting in the register line is stressful. Sandy remarks about guys and even girls looking at me.

I mention, “There are more attractive women than me in the shop.”

The girl behind me taps me on the shoulder, “You’re the girl next door who just blossomed. Smile and don’t let it throw you, you look especially nice.” I smile and say thanks, until she recognizes me from school. “OMG, well I guess you did blossom.” I raise my hands to my face and I’m about to run and cry. She puts a hand on my shoulder, “Don’t run and quit your crying, I won’t tell unless you give everything away.” She hands me a tissue, “I guess you had to unwind after the twins, huh?” I giggle and relax, “Thanks Joan, I guess I owe you.”

We ask Joan to go eat with us, but she advises against it, because she had three friends with her. “I can keep a secret, but four of us won’t.”

The doll shop is very wonderful, for me the dolls are all beautiful but they’re only to look at. They’re from fairly nice to works of art, but even the fair ones begin at seventy dollars making two unaffordable. One baby ‘Grace’, I really love her, is on sale at ninety-five dollars and Sara finds another beautiful doll, it’s a special edition for a cancer cause. Sandy wants to give twenty dollars toward purchasing them, Sara volunteers forty dollars and that’s before Trudy has an opportunity to help.

“You three think I should do this if I really like them?” Sandy quickly smiles in agreement and Sara gets a bit cruel, “Only if you love them and will really give them a nice home. Don’t tease your babies if going to leave them.”

I decide to get the dolls on my own; Sara gets two outfits for her namesake and Sandy gets one outfit for Allyson. Trudy buys the stroller for twins. By the look of one sales lady, I think she questions the type of girl purchasing the dolls. Sara assures her, “She’s already shown she is a good mommy.”

Sara calls Marti’s house and advises Dad be sent home if they want to see me as I’m dressed.

Saying all the women are pleased when we get home is a gross understatement. Much like Sara said, Mom says “Honey, you couldn’t look more gorgeous. But if you were for real, I wouldn’t let you out like that.” She pauses, “You don’t look bad or anything; you’re just too young to look that hot.”

Aunt Marti asks me to come close to her, “Melanie, do you know how beautiful you are?” Trudy hugs me from behind, “Thanks for telling her that I hope she hears you.”

“I don’t think I am that overly beautiful, but yes I feel beautiful inside and out. I think I take after you and Mom.”

Trudy whispers, “You can’t get any more beautiful than you feel and I agree you are as beautiful deep down as any of us. I hope part of you always feel like a true sister to all of us.”

As the others go out to the living room, Trudy pulls me into my room and gives me a passionate kiss.

Story to continue…

It was a neat time once we’re back, our visit is relaxed and joyful. My sister and friends, Mom and Marti, Sherry and Suzi; Sharon even came over as Sandy had called her. Suzi enjoys sitting on my more pronounced hips and cups one of my breasts which starts off a new conversation. Mom says, “Melanie while you look nice I think you need to wear modest and less flattering clothes, especially to school.”

Sara speaks up, “Mom you’re the one who suggested I tell her to get the extra help of other girls?”

Sharon kind of sides with Mom, “When you come over to visit me, I suggest you don’t wear those if you’re hoping Steve and Bob visit with you as old friends.” She goes on, “I do think it is neat that you got the dolls to remember the twins. And I wouldn’t be surprised that a few others in our class will do that. I do expect those that do will all be female, kinda like you,” she giggles.

Trudy, Sharon and Sandy follow me to my room where I begin to change as I want to wear something more relaxing. Sandy quickly giggles as she says, “I know you’re quickly becoming one of us, but I suggest you slow things down. In the future announce beforehand if you are going to change in front of us.” I had already unzipped my skirt and was in the process of letting it drop to the floor.

Sharon nearest to the closet looks in and pulls out something for me to quickly slip on. While I’m dreadfully embarrassed they begin to talk about what I should be watching for in regards to Aunt Marti and the baby, who could be born any day. Trudy is interested in hearing the full account as is Sharon about Marti. I’m sure they think I am pulling their leg about being in with her.

Sunday and Monday pass without incident as I’m keep busy helping not only the girls but Aunt Marti. Mom helps with dinner both nights. I don’t like all the work and responsibility that comes with being a niece to my Aunt. “Melanie, I know you’re tired with all you’re doing. I can’t help but think how much you must be identifying with being a young woman.”

She signals for me to sit down; “Melanie, would it be better for you if you and Sara changed with each other. I’m afraid things have gotten passed what we should be asking of you.”

“Aunt Marti, I think we’ve both already that but it was you who said how well I’ve done and that you trust me. I’ve become your Lamaze partner; I’m a willing participant this is an important time in your life and mine. Uncle Ron and I have talked, via Skype about things since he’s been away. So I know he and you are comfortable with me staying in your life, seeing you through this. If you ask for my Mom to be with you I will honor that but to change with Sara, ‘No way.’”

Come 11:00 p.m. I’m ready for bed and I check on Marti. While she is not bleeding anymore but I can tell she is anxious tonight. I awake to her calling me around 12;15 a.m. between the pressure on her bladder and the baby kicking, she became worried and she wants me close by. I sleep on a cot in her room and she allows me to put my twins in her bassinet.

I am late and tired when I push my way out of bed. The good news is I get ready and to school much quicker now. Nevertheless I’m still late; all this gives me more to talk about in school.

Trudy texts me and asks if she could come and stay overnight until Marti has her baby. I suggest she come over as we need to talk to Aunt Marti about it. Aunt Marti actually thinks it would be a great idea, “If you are willing to live by my rules. You will sleep on the cot in my room and Trudy will sleep in the guest room as you’ve been doing and focus on the girls.”

Trudy quickly informs people that she might miss work this week. Mom continues to help with dinners. Tuesday and Wednesday evenings each have anxious times. Wednesday is doubly hard as the girls become restless and act up when their Mom has a melancholy time. The baby’s kicking, her system is upset and she’s crying. It is Thursday night at 11:30 p.m. when she calls to me, “Melanie, call your parents we need to go to the hospital.”

I call my parents, while I’m loading Marti’s SUV. Trudy has called the Johnson’s, which is very good as my parent’s phone is busy like someone is talking. My parents keep their smart phones out of their bedrooms. It is my fourth call and I’m helping Marti to her vehicle. Finally I call and get through to Sara. I tell her Aunt Marti’s going to have her baby and suggest Mom and Dad meet us at the hospital. Mrs. Johnson drives us and I sit in the back with Aunt Marti. Sandy and Trudy will stay with Suzi and Sherry; who are still both asleep.

We have gone a half dozen blocks when Aunt Marti’s water breaks. Aunt Marti jokes that modesty has taken another flying leap out the window. I’m use towels to minimize the mess underneath her. Mrs. Johnson’s driving quite safely, but atleast ten miles over the speed limit when she is pulled over for speeding. The Officer however becomes our escort all the way up to the emergency room door.

Mrs. Johnson goes with Aunt Marti for the moment as I need to register Aunt Marti with all her insurance and other important information. My parents arrive and Mom tells me to use the bathroom, “You need to clean up and use a little makeup. Needless to say I’m in the women’s rest room. But I’m soon out as Mom calls into me, “The second and third baby often don’t take long in coming.”

It is 1:20 a.m. when Dr. Kylie announces Marti is dilated to 3 but tells Marti and me to relax. It is another hour before the labor pains begin to get stronger and things begin to progress. Her labor and delivery suite is rather pretty as the birthing chair is both functional and comfortable for the mother, baby as well as for the doctor and her team.

Marti’s Lamaze instruction and yoga training have her fairly comfortable. The real thing however has me nervous, excited and understanding that this is very different from pretend. While I am at Marti’s side, up by her head there is a mirror positioned so Marti and I can both see a bit of the doctor and where the baby will appear. I can only think I am in a sacred place.

Nurse Kathy, again our nurse, speaks to comfort Marti affirming the progress being made as well as praising me for my coaching. Aunt Marti’s labor is work in deed accompanied with some pain. Though Kathy shares it is not as bad as many women experience even with drug medication. Marti’s perspiring runs the gamut from healthy a glow to one that comes from a woman who is exerting great effort and under the stress of her labor. The pushes, the cleansing breaths and pushes again seem to be choreographed. Dr. Kylie announces the baby is probably taking longer because she is just enough bigger. Marti confirms Sherry and Suzi were 6lbs. 9oz. and 7lbs. 4oz. respectively.

Dr. Kyle announces seeing the crown of the baby with the previous push and announces the head is coming out with this push along with one shoulder rolling out. It is the next set of contractions that the shoulders are fully out and we see the full baby appear. It seemed once it started just before the top of the baby’s head was seen to the baby being fully born was a mere ten to fifteen minutes. But the clock in the birthing room has indicated some fifty minutes passed.

Marti is correct, she has another girl and who is pronounced healthy and with all appendages. I am asked to step toward Dr. Kylie who offers me the honor of cutting the umbilical cord. I look first to Aunt Marti who encourages me with the whisper “Thank you.”

I had text Uncle Ron around 2:00 a.m. that Aunt Marti is in labor. My text of the baby’s birth at 3:33 a.m. has Ron communicating immediately back. We’re in transit going to her room 5021 when Ron calls and I hand the phone to Marti. The staff is very accommodating, stopping to allow Marti to visit with Ron. While Marti would love more time it’s enough to allow Aunt Marti to show off their new daughter. She tells Ron their daughter was born weighing 8lbs 5ozs and 20 1/4” in length. Ron is given the honor of announcing their daughter’s name to be “Megan Taelor”.

Ready to finish transferring Marti over to a regular bed, I excuse myself to communicate to those waiting our news in the waiting area. Mom, Sara and Dad engulf me with a hug as I tell them of the birth and Ron’s visit with Marti over my phone. I’ll let Aunt Marti do the honors of sharing the baby’s name and most of the particular information. I do tell everyone Mom and baby are fine. I’m too excited to rest as Mom suggests but I’m glad to snuggle in Sara’s arms. “Thanks Sis, you’ve become especially important,” says Sara.

Grandma has awakened and is amused as Sara moves her fingers through Mel’s hair in a soothing motion. “You seem very supportive of Mel that is very tender of you.”

Sara looks up to Grandma, “Thanks Grams, I’m kinda touched by how she’s been there for Aunt Marti. I love Mel as a sister. I’ll miss her if she changes back.” Melanie is passively listening and moved by their talk, especially Sara’s statement, ‘If she changes back?’

Gram comes over and sits on the other side of me. The way she takes my hand, I can tell I am now different to my Grandmother. “Not that I want you to change, but I’m proud of you Mel… Melanie. Why don’t you tell me how beautiful it was in there?”

“Grams, you know in a way it wasn’t beautiful I never thought of that part. You also know it was the most beautiful time in an extraordinary way. I’m glad I saw both. Marti wouldn’t let the nurse put a screen up to stop us from seeing. It was the other nurse, not Nurse Kathy and she protested to Dr. Kylie.” I smile thinking of the incident surprised I even remember it. Dr. Kylie told the nurse, “Get with the program or get us someone ready to rejoice.” The nurse started to point to me when Kylie interrupted, “Yes she knows her niece will see her as well.”

“Everything seemed to go quickly, yet each part took more time than I understood. Marti even pushed me down toward Dr. Kylie one time so I’d see her in all her ‘gory glory’ as she called it. When Aunt Marti would smile and I’d smile back at her, it was like she enjoyed me talking with her. When she grins in exertion or pain I did my best to smile and encourage her. And when Dr. Kylie first said she saw crown, I thought we were through with the birth. But you know the delivery was just getting serious. Sometimes I could see some blood on her gloves coming from Marti’s… from Marti.”

Grams looks at me, “Did Marti touch your cheek with some of the soup from the womb?” I’m about to quickly say “No” when I remember the smudge from my left cheek across to my lips. Then I remember Marti pulling me down to give me a thank you kiss. I can remember licking my lips, thinking I’m a blessed girl.

“Yes Grams, but I thought it was just an accident.” I felt renewed now and I got up and gave Grams a hug and took her back to see Marti and the baby. Gram is now talking to me like I was Sara or one of her daughters. “I really appreciate one of my granddaughters being there for Marti. You know, you make a very pretty young woman.”

Grams reaches into her purse and pulls out two twenty dollar bills and gives them to me. I feel a little hurt that Grams thinks she needs to reward me for what I did. “…Don’t look so insulted; I am not paying you for what you did. I just thought if you are going to stay around here you should buy a little makeup so you look better.” I am not sure who’s happier as a smile returns to my face.

I take Grandmother to Marti’s room and she turns me around patting my buns saying, “Now go take care of your appearance.” I find Sara and we go to the hospital café and get breakfast sandwiches and some hot tea. Sara’s amused that I want some makeup to be presentable. We’re slowly eating when Trudy put her hands over my eyes and then gives me a kiss. I stood up to hug Trudy and to take Suzi from her. Bending carefully to be closer to Sherry’s height I tell the two girls, “You have another little sister.”

We use the women’s room as Sherry needs to pee and I apply my makeup. I am now a presentable girl. I turn finding, “Trudy, what are you laughing about?”

“It makes my heart skip with joy Melanie to see how easy it is for you to be Marti’s niece. You’re fixing yourself for Marti, aren’t you?” I am watching Trudy in the mirror as I touch up the last of my makeup and Trudy brushes a few stray hairs back into position.

“I hope you’re not upset, I’m thinking of you too. I appreciate your help so much. I’d give you a big kiss but then I’d have to do some of my makeup again,” I giggle at the thought.

Trudy gives me a spritz of perfume. I check my smart phone as we step into the hallway, thinking I heard it ring before. A text from Uncle Ron: “Mel, I’ve caught a caught a ride from my ship in the Med. I’m in France waiting catch a cargo transport back to the states. There are at least a dozen of us are heading to the states in eight hours for one type of leave or another… Wish we could have flown with the brass and dignitaries going out in an hour. I’m the fortunate one, some have already been here overnight burning their leave hours in transit. I told Marti it would be three or four days this morning. Hopefully if I get in early someone can pick me up at the airport or a bus station. We will surprise Marti if I get there early.”

“P.S. Thanks Melanie for being there, you went above and beyond the call of duty. I really appreciate that.”

Trudy asks me why I’m tearing this time and I just hand her my phone; she then hands it to Sara. Now we’re all using tissues and Sherry and Suzi are giving us hugs and telling us, “Tings wil’be awight Untie Melwanie”.

Mom and Dad had just come back to the waiting area as we arrive there. Mom asks Sarah and me to carry Sherry and Suzi and follow her back to Marti. Everyone needs to wash and put on a garment. The girls look cute, especially Suzi, she’s not quite fourteen months old herself.

I have Sherry lean over and give her Mom and big hug and kiss; Sara on the other side lays Suzi down on the bed. After a big hug and kiss, Suzi is looking around for her baby sister. There is a layette there, but Grandma has the baby and cautiously brings her over so the sisters can see her. We can only see her face and arms moving a little.

Sherry asks me to sit down with her so we can hold her sister. “Mommy, what is our sister’s name?”

“Megan Taelor Weeks”, Grandma Hill looks over to make sure it is okay to place Megan into Sherry’s and my arms. Megan is looking up, I’m not sure she can see us but Sherry thinks so and I want to believe the same. Megan even seems to smile. Suzi climbs over her mother to get a closer look. Luckily the nurse came in after Suzi is next to us.

“Let’s get this little girl down before she climbs on her mother?” My Mom reaches and picks her up covering Suzi’s mouth as she does so. “Is it okay if your daughters see you nursing their little sister?”

Marti shakes her head yes as she bares her left breast. Marti’s nipple looks too large for Megan. Megan reacts as the nipple tickles her cheek and she turns her head and opens up her mouth. Marti gently guides the two together. I’m thinking I should leave the room, but Marti looks to me, “Sit down, we’re all girls here.” Sara gives me a hug from the side, “Yes Sis, you’ve seen Megan born, it should be okay if you stay.” Word must be out as Marti has half dozen calls. Marti’s told to turn off her phone as she needs rest. Grandma agrees to call her sister and two brothers while Marti rests. Mom will call some of Marti’s friends.

It is just after noon when Dad takes me, Trudy and the two girls home. Dad then follows Trudy home to make sure she gets there safely. I let Sherry and Suzi watch TV as I take a quick shower. I am about to fall asleep but wake a little with the shower. I am getting the girls a little dinner to eat and trying to keep the girls awake so they will sleep tonight.

The girls are excited and fussy, dinner is not going well even before the doorbell rings. A pretty vase of flowers arrives, along with a bouquet of balloons. We are almost settled when the doorbell rings again and I say something I wish my nieces didn’t hear. I am still upset as I open the door and its Sandy and Sharon. I’m about to cry; I don’t want to cry… I am in Sharon’s arms crying. She giggles, “Now which of these three little girls needs our attention most?”

I am apologizing as we sit, I’m still crying. Sandy goes to help the girls. Sharon, “It is okay Melanie, I hear you did great and deserve to be tired. You need to know it is okay for a girl to cry. You’ve been a very good girl,” she whispers. Sandy comes carrying Suzy, “Yes, we are very tickled for you and the woman you’ve become.”

Sharon suggests, “Why don’t you take a warm shower to relax and change into a nightgown and robe. We will keep you company and help watch the girls.” I shower again and I shaved my legs as I didn’t want Sandy and Sharon thinking poorly of me. I find my favorite peach nightgown with a matching panty. A perfumed soap with glycerin helps my body feel silky and clean. Today it isn’t hard to daydream of being a girl, especially when the wash cloth goes across by chest and activates sensations originating from my nipples. I linger to build the sensation up until some involuntary sounds of joy echo in the bathroom.

I grab a towel as I step out and Sandy comes rushing in and plops down on the toilet. “Woe Sandy, what do you think you’re doing?”

Sandy purrs relief, “Do I really need to explain?”

“But this is awkward; I’m trying to dry myself from the shower. Why didn’t you use the one off of Marti’s bedroom?”

She says, “Wrap a large towel around yourself and live with the fact I responded to an emergency. It’s not like you worry about us girls when you invade our restroom.” Sandy stares at me, “If you don’t mind, would you please look away. This is a bit sensitive for me.” I hear movement and then a flush and Sandy is soon washing her hands.

I slip on my panty under the towel and make another sound as I dry my breasts under the towel. Sandy turns and scoots to sit on the area next to the sink. “That sound is familiar, but a boy shouldn’t be making that sound.”

“I don’t want too it just happens. And please don’t go pushing my buttons to try and get me… any more excited.”

Sandy snickers, “I suspect there are two buttons.” She is now walking toward me and she has a mischievous look. I try to block her hands with one hand and I’m trying to hold up the towel with the other. “This isn’t fair… but I can’t resist the opportunity to see you in all your splendor.” The towel falls as Sandy gets to me.

My head is bowed down and I’m looking from the tops of my eyes and through my long hair. I smile as Sandy is smiling, “So what do you think?”

“I think you look so much like another girl; you have our figure; you have very pretty skin and even your small tummy is that of a girl instead of a guy’s gut. How is it you have budding breasts?” She touches my right nipple, “This isn’t from just living like a girl is it? Is this like the girl dating experience you wanted?”

I quickly put on my nightgown and I’m pulling the robe around me as we go out to the living room where the girls and Sharon are. Sharon looks at me and then to Sandy like she knows something. Sandy and Sharon whisper. I struggle to stay awake. It is like my body knows someone will watch the girls if I fall asleep.

It dawns on me that I still need to feed the girls, so I get up and start to the kitchen. “If you’re planning to feed your nieces, I’ve already done that.” It’s Sharon following close behind me, “It is sweet how much you care for them and instinct reminds you to think about them. Is that a normal Mel reaction?”

I make it to a kitchen chair and turn to Sharon, “No, it wasn’t to Mel but it has become kind of natural. There are a lot of things I think about now. Do you think it’s sick or just silly?” Sharon gets her purse, sits down with me as she begins to do my nails. “It’s funny I remember once when you came over to play with my brothers outside, I wished you’d have been a girl. I so wished I had a girlfriend like you.”

“I wished girls would let boys play with them as a friend.”

She smiled warmly, “Is that why you were so shy? Did you ever wish you and I played together?” Sharon stares and soon realizes the answer. Jan C. told me once she thought you were…”

Come 8:00 p.m. there was a knock on the door and Mom announced to my nieces, “Your Mom is home with your little sister.” The noise of the nieces welcoming them filled the house. Mom smiles to see me ready for bed. I and Sharon put on some water for tea or coco and some rolls that had been dropped off at the house. Marti’s being careful but she enjoys being free to be up and around. Her breasts have filled out since Megan was born. “Your father took Grandma home for tonight. This weekend we will be sharing the house with her so plan to sleep in the living room or with the girls.” I wanted to say what about Ron, but I caught myself.

Marti looks to me and holds out two hands for us to embrace. “Melanie, you are so precious. I can’t say enough about you sharing Megan’s birth with me, part of you will always be my niece.” She steps back and looks me up and down. “I hope I get my figure back as quickly as you did. What do you think?” Everyone giggles and I’m smart enough to pause before my response.

“Aunt Marti you have always looked better than me, even on my best day. You are beautiful inside and out and you’ve helped me to feel beautiful,” I say.

Sandy chimes in, “I agree with Melanie, you are a super Aunt. Melanie wouldn’t be so real if it weren’t for those in her family. She even has the figure of a young woman like us.”

Story to be continued…

I’m up at 5:30 as I need to help care for the girls and get to school. I put on some coffee, get dressed. It is a simple long dress that gathers up high and falls close to the contours of my body. I put on 2” heel boots as it could be slippery under foot. My makeup is light, I smile on how well and quickly I do my face. My hair needs the salon but I’m able to brush it out and keep the waves and curls in ample supply. I even have my earrings in as I go to check the Suzi.

She is smiling which might mean she is dry; in fact she is and I sit her on the potty chair. I wonder if I should be checking on Megan. I wash my hands and open the door to Marti’s room enough to poke in my head. The bassinet is next to the bed so I walk lightly to it to check Megan. Marti’s eyes open just a crack, “If you could change her I would appreciate it.”

I carry Megan over to the changing table and take off her diaper. It’s different with a baby the pre-natal class comes in handy, knowing the correct way to wipe her bottom; making sure each area is clean. There is also an ointment I need to apply. She is very precious as I cradle her in my arms. Marti is sitting up in a chair as I hand Megan to her. It is so cute to see Meg respond to the light touch of Marti’s nipple on her cheek. Her head turns and gently moves till she is sucking.

“Melanie,” Marti gently gets my attention, “You have school and two other girls to take care of.”

Once I’m back out to find Suzi and her plastic pants are on the floor in front of the potty chair, bare-butt Suzi is pushing her highchair to the table. I pick her up and she is smiling. “I go potty Untie Mewanie, I good.”

“Yes, you were very good. You’re getting to be a big girl.” Suzi smiles at being a BIG GIRL. I smile to myself it’s like me being seen as a Real Girl.

I take Suzi and make sure she is cleaned up and then get her dressed and up in her highchair with cereal and juice. Sherry up, feed her and run her bath water. Kneeling in a long dress is not so easy, as I stir in a little bubble bath. I have cereal and yogurt for me. I have yogurt, fruit and milk ready for Sheri. I get out a pretty pair of pants and a pullover top for her along with her under clothes. I take a cup of coffee into Marti and tell her she needs to get out of bed and out to the kitchen for her breakfast.

I hear a knock at the side door and the door open; it’s Mom coming to help her sister Marti. “Well this is very good Melanie; I am quite impressed. Your sister will be over to drive you to school.” She goes into see Marti and the baby, and comes out carrying Megan. “Marti is taking a needed shower to freshen up and rejoin the normal world.”

I expected Sara to beep the horn, but no she comes in to seeing Megan. She’s already talking to Marti about taking Megan in for show and tell. “If anyone gets to do that it should be me,” I say matter of factly. Marti retorts, “I think you’re both too big for show and tell.”

I counter, “But I do have a report to give.” Mom hands me a purse and my coat, pushing me out the door. Sara and I are laughing as we get into the car. It is the first I note Sara is in a skirt. “Since when are you wearing a skirt during the winter?”

“I’ll have you know I am free to wear skirts; girls don’t wear skirts as much as you but it is still fun when it’s my choice.” I gaze to take her in and I am envious. I’d like to be a normal girl.

Ms. Braun has a note on my locker to come see her. “Hi Ms Braun, no I don’t have a note for missing yesterday but my Aunt had her baby.”

“Someone called in; so did your Aunt have a boy or girl?” We talk, she’s happy to hear about Megan, surprised that Marti had me in with her for the birth of the baby. “I called you in to remind you that you should be working on your report. I also want to remind you, you are not a real girl and come March we want you dressed as Melvin if not sooner.”

“Off the record, I think you have done much better than anyone could have imagined Mel. I hope you do this report as well as you have done everything so far. I would not be surprised if Carol your reporter friend would be around.”

“Ms. Braun, I want to ask: If I decide to invite Trudy to our prom and I come as Melanie will I have any problems with the school?”

“I’m not surprised by the rest of the day and all the questions by the other girls. I was surprised when Steven Young says he wants to talk with me after school, “Would it be okay if I took you to a place on the highway so we can talk with a little privacy?”

“Is this some kind of test or something?” I ask.

“If it is, it is more a test about me, but ‘No’ it is nothing bad, so please.”

I didn’t know he was the one in the sharp looking Cutlass. I called Aunt Marti to say I’ll be a little late. Mom is there again so it is okay.

Steven meets me at the east door going out to the street where his car is parked. He holds my hand as we go to the car. I give him a look but don’t with draw my hand. He even opens my door and closes it after I’m in. It’s one of our nicer diners. He asks and gets a booth back in the corner. Lace a waitress who knows me says hi and giggles under her breath.

“So is it Steve or Steven,” I ask?

“Either is fine.” Steven goes on, “I’m new this semester and it’s our senior year.” He smiles as he look at me directly, “I desperately want to go to the prom with a good looking girl like you.”

“So does ‘desperately’ have to do with me being ‘good looking or girl’?” I look at him seriously, “You know you could have started this better if you’re trying to impress me.”

He said, “You’re right I could be doing better but my awkwardness is more about me and trying to be honest. It was three weeks before I heard you might be a boy. And since then I’ve wrestled about still asking you out. You are the prettiest girl that is running unattached except for the girls who like going out with you. I’ve been a chauvinist as well as very straight, but I find I still want to ask you to the Prom.”

We talked and I finally said, “Well I have a girlfriend at another school and I hope to be going to the prom with her. I want to go to one prom as Melanie and I’m not sure what Trudy will say about that. I think it would be awkward going to one prom with a girl I really like and going to our prom with a guy just so I can be his female date.”

“I am impressed with your confession as well as calling me one of the good looking girls. It is kind of stirring to be approached by a handsome guy who knows me and still sees me as a pretty girl he wants date.” I didn’t think about it by I’ve taken hold of his hand like I’m in his girlfriend.”

“I hear you go to most of the dances, would you go with me to a dance or atleast dance with me a number of times?”

“This Friday I’ll be at our dance and my friend Trudy can’t be there. I’d rather just go there with some friends and dance if you still wish.” We continue to talk, Steve tells me he and his parents just moved her from the Chicago area. He’s already accepted to Northwestern University in Illinois and has applied to several universities here in the northeast.

Time passes fast and it is 5:00 before he gets me home. No sooner do I make it through the door, I lean back against it and sigh. Sherry comes running with one of my babies and Suzi and my Mom have the other baby. I had fallen asleep with Sarai and Amanda last night as I had missed them when I was in school.

Mom suggests I go into the living room to nurse my babies as Marti too will soon be out to nurse Megan. Once I’m sitting down and acting like I’m nursing my baby, Mom asks, “So tell us about the boy who brought you home and had you all a flutter?”

“Mom it wasn’t like that…” Mom looks at me like she’s not buying it. “Well, maybe a little bit but I know it shouldn’t be like that.”

Mom smiles and sits next to me, “Melanie, you are trying so hard to be seen as a girl. Seemingly Steven treated you like a girl, so why are you surprised you feel like one.”

She says, “I might not be crazy about you staying as a girl, but I don’t want you suppress or deny what you feel and think.” I sense Mom is opening up to me talking from her heart, not as much like a parent. “It surprises me but when I saw you leaning back against that door, I saw a little of me in you. It’s like a Mom seeing her daughter grow up and we’re sharing a common experience. It is not just with Steve, I’ve seen Trudy bring similar feelings to you.”

Marti is in the room nursing Megan and my nieces are there as well. “Thanks Mom, but my biggest frustration is the thought of going back to being Melvin. I think I’m going to feel like Melanie wearing boy’s clothing and feeling awkward or disgusted.” I push away Sarai and Amanda and stand up; “I can’t just talk about this like going back is okay.”

I run to my room and pick up my pillow to cry in it. Mom soon followed and I’m glad she’s not yelling at me what to do. She sits next to me and hugs me; “Melanie, Dr. Kylie, the psychiatrist in gender identity and us just want to make sure you make healthy decisions.”

“Mom, I understand that but I’m wrestling with things as Melanie; I want to finish my senior year as me not someone else’s experiment. I want to find out if I choose to be me, Melanie; if Trudy and others will continue to accept that is who I am.”

“If I kiss Steven or another boy, I want to own those feelings and not to run from them. Can you understand what I want?”

I say, “I think Dr. Kylie is trying to do what she thinks you and others want her to do. I know you’re my parents and as I a girl I only have four months, but I’m now eighteen. I need help in making decisions, not others telling me what I’m going to do.”

There’s a pause, Mom’s holding my hand and has a slight smile as she looks to me. “I hear you honey and I guess we need a conference before there’s any thought of you changing back. I can appreciate what you’re saying and it sound like a very mature person speaking to me.”

“Thanks Mom; You and Marti have been very helpful in me growing as Melanie. I hope you feel happy about that and not guilty if I remain do Melanie. I love being your second daughter.” We walk back out to be with Marti and Uncle Ron is there now.

“Ron, what do you think about your nephew?”

Ron says, “I don’t know if you’re going to like this but I’m very impressed with Melanie. Originally, I was just happy someone was here helping Martin and the kids. Marti kept telling me how helpful Melanie was being. I wondered why she wasn’t referring to Melvin. Once I started communicating with Mel I understood why. Somehow, I think this girl emerged to show her true colors.”

“I know everyone kind of thinks maybe Mel the guy should be back but to me Mel is Melanie. I know even she struggles sometimes; I just think it is growing pains.” Uncle Ron comes over as I stand up to receive him. “You’ve become a lovely young woman Melanie. Marti and I are very happy about you’re being here.”

I don’t know if he’d appreciate knowing, his being eight inches taller and being built as he is, ‘I wouldn’t mind a guy like him asking me out. It is not just about his appearance though I’m fond of how he treats Marti and the girls. If I could find a guy that nice it would make being a woman that much easier and better.’

Mom went into the kitchen and I began to follow but I saw her take out her phone so I pause and don’t go in. “Honey,” I hear her say, “It’s not for sure but Melanie might be continuing as our daughter… I think at least till the end of the school year… Yes, even that is possible… I agree if that’s the way it should be, it would be fine. I just want what’s right for her. She does make a beautiful daughter.”

Come Thursday evening I visit with Trudy, “So what’s bothering you Melanie; for everything going so well there’s something still bothering you?” I was just about to tell her on my own, “Trudy that new guy Steve I told you about he wants to meet me at the dance tomorrow night.”

“I heard he was asking you to the Prom at your school with him but no one has heard if you said no or yes.” I could feel my face turning red. “Does that mean you’d like to go with him or that you already said ‘Yes’?”

“I told him you’re my girlfriend and I hope to go with you.”

“But you didn’t answer my question; would you like to go with him or another guy to your prom? Melanie, apart from you, I don’t see myself as a lesbian. It’s kind of funny when I finally fall in love with you, you’re a girl. It’s our senior year and both of us want to be the belle of the ball. I’ll tell you; I’m tempted to go with my old boyfriend Blake to his Prom and you’re tempted to go with Steven to your Prom. I’m not sure what I think about the other two, but I’m sure we should go together to my Prom.”

“Why don’t we agree to go together to your Prom? I’ll probably dance with Steven tomorrow night but I’m not saying yes to him about the prom at least not now.” I’m anxious and I want to talk to Trudy face to face. “Trudy if I can get the use of a car, can I stop over and take you out for awhile?” I quickly say good-bye and I’m calling Sara when Marti says I can use their car.

I’m use to driving cars but I’m still anxious about possibly being pulled over by police. Even when I try I have trouble driving the speed limit. I’ve had two police signal for me to pullover but it’s in my own town and they just want me to slow down.

I’m surprised when Trudy comes and gets into the car and she’s wearing a cute skirt and blouse outfit. I did the same thing but it’s because I feel passionate as Melanie. “Melanie, let’s go over to Johnson Park and talk in the car.” It takes us less than ten minutes to get there; another minute to be in the back seat.

Trudy’s getting very passionate and I’m doing all I can to stay up with her. “If you dance with him… I want… you to remember… what he needs… to measure up too…” she says. I’m unable to comment as we’re both overly passionate. I’m sure Trudy’s having an orgasm but she’s able to push herself to something deeper. While I’ve been tucked back and have on a faux vagina it hasn’t stopped me from reacting, just from showing. My biggest response is as Melanie, not as a guy. Even the way I’m touching Trudy is as another girl.

It has gone from 7:30 when I left Ron and Marti’s to 11:00 p.m. when I drive back into their driveway. Marti greets me with a request to take a shower before I come back out to visit with her. Tonight is the first time I’ve wanted to cut my boy parts off. No, I’m not going to do it; I just so wished I was all girl with Trudy.

Tonight I take my sweet time with conditioning my hair. My nightgown is one of my more feminine ones with lace around my breasts and a thin fabric of satin caressing me. I can’t help but smile as I walk out to Marti. Marti has me sit next to her and draws me in to snuggle next to her. “Young lady, please tell me about tonight?”

“I hope you want my feelings and thoughts and not other details?”

“Well stated Melanie.” We visit and I’m relieved. Aunt Marti is once again my dearest confidant along with Sara. “Aunt Marti, Trudy is so loveable and considerate that I feel guilty about what I’d like to do.” Marti smiles and words aren’t needed as I know she understands.

“She has come to impress me Melanie. If the romance would ever leave I hope there is away to keep her friendship.” If I didn’t feel strongly as I do, I would seek her just as a friend. But my whole being tingles when she stirs my emotions.

“Melanie, I need to change the subject and talk about Ron leaving at the end of this week. He’s going to take us all out for dinner tomorrow night, but after that and the following two nights I would like you to give more attention to the other two girls, Suzi and Sherry.” She’s lost in a pleasant thought; “I wish I were a few more months away from Megan being born. I wouldn’t mind making sure his body went back to duty to rejuvenate his juices.”

Marti sees me turning red and realizes she’s shared the information with her teenage niece/nephew. “I’m sorry I’m sure that was too much information.”

“The weird thing Aunt Marti, I like you confiding in me like you do with my Sister. It is things like this that seem to confirm I’m a girl…”

One more chapter…

Melanie woke up in the morning with a growing sensation that something was different. She thought her mind is was playing games as her body felt very different. She patted herself dry and put on fresh panties. When she put on her bra she felt a sensation underneath her breast forms that stirred her stronger than before. She thought it must be her mind playing games as she had an appointment with Dr. Kylie at 3:00 p.m.

She'd been up late last night as she would be again tonight and every night until Friday when her report was due. She was glad that her presentation wouldn’t be due until next week. She had gone well beyond the minimum report requirements which should sit well with the office’s expectation of the old Melvin. Studies as a whole have gone very different for Melanie; well enough that everyone was encouraging her to retake her college entrance exams that she took last year.

Melanie realized as she got Suzi and Sherry up that she was looking extra sharp. Her new dress fitted snuggly in all the right places in spite of her losing five pounds since she bought it

Uncle Ron noticed as she sat down for breakfast. “Melanie, what mischief are you up to. You’re glowing this morning.”

“Can’t be Uncle Ron; I was up past midnight on my project.” Marti listened as she entered the room with Megan. “Melanie, I would say you look extra feminine this morning. Really you are totally girl. I probably shouldn’t say you look like a girl, because it doesn’t make sense to tell a girl she looks like a girl.”

Marti asked me to hold Megan as she got a croissant and spread a small spoon of fruit preserves on it. She got a glass of milk to go with her cup of tea.

I’ve wandered into the hall taking Megan with me. I can tell she’s alert today as she kept her eyes on me and listened as I talked to her. Uncle Ron enjoyed me holding her, “Be patient you will have her all during school,” I said. I sat so her big sisters could enjoy her for a moment.

I gave her to Uncle Ron, and then grab my purse, books, and coat. Sandy had just pulled into the driveway to give me a ride to school.

I was hit with the feeling again as I sat in the car. “Melanie what did you do, you look radiant this morning?” I giggled, “There must be something about being a new Mom that agrees with me.” Oops, I forgot to say good-bye to Sarai and Amanda and give them a kiss. I did it with Megan, but not my own girls.

Sandy stuck out her left hand. Not waiting for me to respond, she says, “Ken gave me a promise ring last night when he asked about taking me to the prom.” It’s a pretty sapphire ring circled with small diamonds. I wonder if they’re really diamonds. “Ken said they better be diamonds as expensive as the ring was,” she said reading my mind. Ken has been working for two years: so I expect they’re likely what he says.

After we parked at school, we walked over to Sharon and her friend Deb. Sharon looked at me and twice looked back to Deb.

“What is that look about,” I asked?

Sharon smiled, “You’re becoming good looking girl, and Deb and I were just talking about it. You look especially pretty this morning. So I looked over and saw you both glowing.”

Emotions crashed over me like a wave, and I ran into the school to one of the stools in the girl’s room. I’m not quite sure why I’m crying, except the compliments felt like a practical joke. I know they can’t be true. I also felt bad because this should be Sandy’s special morning with the ring Kenny gave her.

Sharon is there as I make my way back out to the sink and mirror. She joked, “I don’t know why your worry about the compliments. And now you've gone and messed up your makeup.” Sharon waits as I repair my makeup.

When I come out of the girl’s room, Ms Braun greets me and asks me to accompany her to her office. For the first time in a month I’m in trouble with the office for not being authorized to be in a girl’s room.

Ms. Braun sat down across from me shaking her head, “Melanie even though many of the girls and I are quite used to you as a girl. You don’t have permission to use that girl’s room even with a girl checking to see if it is clear. Do not do that ever again or you will be in more trouble. Also I wanted to ask how your report is coming and when you’re going back to being Melvin.”

“I’m sorry about using the wrong girl’s room; I just had a little melt down and needed a place to be safe to relax until I collected myself.” I looked at her with a sense of confidence and conviction. “My report is coming along fine and has become something I’m proud of. Regarding going back to dressing like Melvin, Dr. Kylie wants it to be by the first of March. That maybe a little later than you targeted for me, but personally I’d like to finish out the school year as Melanie and graduate.”

Ms. Braun’s jaw drops and starts to move up and down unable to catch a thought. “I’m sorry but that would be like someone wanting to do more detention days than required. It smacks of rubbing our faces in your defiance. I’m sure we won’t permit it.”

“Well that would just be too bad as I believe that would be against my right to embrace my gender identity. Your disciplinary action has led me to wrestle with and embrace myself. It’s in ways that I never would have thought possible the past few months.” I stood as it was time for my first class. “If we’re done I’d like to get ready for my first class.” I paused and while she was speechless, I left.

I texted Trudy that I wanted to see her after school as I figured out the aura that others were taken with this morning. I celebrated Sandy’s good news most of the morning, not wanting the focus on me. We went to lunch and sat together to eat. Sandy looked at me and asked, “You’ve come to peace with being Melanie haven’t you?”

I'm no longer puzzled as that’s what I realized earlier that morning. “I just realized that now and you already knew?” Sandy hugs me, “I think something told us at the same time. It’s a girl moment, sometimes girlfriends have such moments, and you’ve become one of my closest girlfriends.” We take hold of each others’ hand with a gentle squeeze. “What does Trudy think?”

“I’m not sure, but she might have realized it ahead of me. The kicker is, apart from me she’s not attracted to other girls. Before I became Jill, I had no thought of my going to college in relation to where Trudy or anyone else would. I didn’t have close friends before.”

“You might want to apply to and make some college visits as Melanie,” Sandy suggests.

‘Woe, I hadn't been thinking ahead.’ Sandy taps my shoulder and then gives me a hug; “There will be many more decisions and changes you need to make if you’re to become Melanie permanently. I for one think it might be harder going back to Melvin than remaining as Melanie. You know I’d like to call you Mel but I’m afraid you’d think I’m referring to Melvin… I guess I shouldn’t be pushing for Melanie; you need room to make the right decision when the time comes.”

This time it's me initiating the hug, “You’re more than welcome to call me Mel if it’s just you and those close to us.”

Sharon sits across from us and I can tell from her eyes she’s already into our conversation. “So what do you think,” Sandy asks her?

“It is too private and too long of conversation for here; we need a power trip to the mall,” Sharon said as she smiled. “Melanie will need some spring clothes anyway with her changing body.”

Though I probably won’t buy anything, we’re set to go after school. I texted Trudy before lunch was finished with the request she be with me. Trudy is in on the plan.

School goes well as I’m able to download a few more articles for my report. Steven sat next to me in American History. He wanted a yes about prom. His presence was exciting as well as distracting. But I didn’t say what he wanted to hear.

Sandy and Sharon were giving me a hard time on the way to the Woodbridge Mall. Until I finally ask, “Why are you two giving me a hard time?” Sandy giggles uncontrollably and while Sharon giggles she says, “It looked like you were giving Steven a hard time. It even looked like you enjoyed doing so you little tease.”

I was about to protest their insinuations but find I couldn’t. “He just wanted to have a pretty girl go with him. If Steve, was more obsessed with me that would be different.”

“This is what really needs to be talked about. More and more you’re beyond just looking like a girl, aren’t you Melanie.”

Once we’re out of the car Sharon and Sandy give me a big hug. Sandy tells me, “Don’t shut down. I think Trudy needs to be in on this discussion.” I do a little touch-up before we meet Trudy.

Sandy and Sharon both hug and speak to Trudy before I do. Looking at me, Trudy asks, “Did I create a little monster?”

“No, I just think Jill turned into Melanie. I don’t think I want to go back to being Melvin, but that’s not about you. Today when I woke up I was Melanie. I was glowing and everyone commented before I realized I had become fully me.” Trudy looked at Sandy and Sharon and they each confirmed how radiant I was this morning.

While we’re talking I got a call from Dr. Kylie’s clinic. It is now after five and I had missed my appointment. Dr. Kylie wanted me in her office the tomorrow at 11:30 a.m., no excuses. I’m not sure what is so urgent, but I plan to speak up for remaining the new me. I text Mom about the appointment and asked her to be with me. She had tried to get a hold of me after school I guess it was when I was communicating with Trudy. I hadn’t checked my messages since then.

Today, Uncle Ron leaves to rejoin his ship and I have a doctor’s appointment before noon. I was sent to school until 10:30 a.m.; ‘Please tell me why anyone would think I’m going to really benefit from going to school that short time. I had to redo my makeup two times before I left the house. Four months ago, if my sister Sara was crying over Uncle Ron going back from leave; I would have told her to get a life. Truly, I would not have seen any reason for any fuss. I thought girls and their feelings were totally irrational and silly.

Now I understand why Aunt Marti is so passionate for Ron, and how a mother feels anxious for her children. I even kinda hope that I have someone I love as much. But I wouldn’t want that person in the service and going around the world. Interesting enough, Uncle Ron and others must see the aura again because he and others say I’m still glowing. I do tear when I say goodbye to Ron, but it’s not about me and his compliments.

My time at school is short and my Mom drives me to my appointment with Dr. Kylie. We make small talk with no problem, but I sense Mom knows more than she is telling me. We’re in the waiting room a short time before I’m called in to the exam room. I need to have blood drawn and to give a urine sample, yuck.”

“Melanie, I am glad to confirm one thing while perplexed by other developments. All tests show that you haven’t been taking any extra medicine since we told you not to. Yet tests show your natural production of estrogen and other female hormones are out of the normal range for a healthy male.”

“This puts us at an unusual predicament, especially in light of your body producing healthy breast tissue. Your mother tells me she’s too is a bit less alarmed. She’s wondering if in fact you are becoming their second daughter rather than her son.” I look to Mom; “Your Mom says she and your Father think you probably need to contemplate your emerging identity as well as your body’s changes.”

I asked, “Is there a time I either need help not returning to be Melvin and to develop as a girl, or to decide against maturing as Melvin? I know I should be seeing me as Melvin but I don’t.”

Dr. Kylie smiled and then quickly went to a more stoic face, “Those are very good questions and the kind of questions a healthy person should be asking. It is likely that your female development such as the formation of breast tissue will not reverse easily, but we could stop it. I have talked with experts in this area and their concern is more with the stopping the blockers in this process if you are to continue as a young woman.”

“Concerning your male reproduction organs, it is suggested that we should harvest and safeguard the sperm you’re still producing. It is likely you have at least two-three months before those organs shut down. Increased use of female hormones would stop sperm production and diminish the production of male sexual characteristics. Truth be told Melanie, even when I first saw you as a patient, your male organs were not as fully developed as I would expect for someone your age.”

“So what are we to do at this point in time,” I asked?

Dr. Kylie asked in turn, “Are there any special things going on in your life that we should take into consideration?”

Mom spoke up, “She will need something for the school to validate her continuing as a female student. Mel also is hoping to go to two proms this spring. She has already been pressing us to remain as Melanie. She has both a girlfriend and a young man interested in going with her to the proms.”

“I would,” Dr. Kylie said, “suggest you either just continue with the blockers and the light hormone therapy regiment we had you use before. The other option is to raise it to stimulate your own body’s production of female hormones to help you to continue develop as a young woman. I prefer stimulating your own production of hormones instead of you being dependent on hormone therapy on an ongoing basis. Hoping it be successful, you will meet with me every other week to monitor your development and blood chemistry.”

I am so excited that I’m having trouble containing my composure. “If I develop as a woman, will I likely grow to look like my sister and mother? Could it be determined by the source of the hormones injected into my body?”

“Another very fine question Mel, I see someone has given this some thought. The DNA you have will most likely determine that. If your DNA is closer to your Mom and Sara it would likely promote you to develop with similarities to them.”

I begin to shake noticeably, Mom and Dr. Kylie ask how I’m doing. “Mom, I’m so excited because I want to be your daughter and Sara’s sister. Something seems to be telling me to hold onto what is important. Like I love Trudy but I want her, Sandy and Sharon to always be my friends, not just for now. I’m afraid if I put emphasis on loving Trudy, I would lose her as a best friend.”

“Mom, can we talk without Dr. Kylie, mother and daughter like?” Dr. Kylie excused herself, but I called to her. “No, I need to be done here so we can have time together. I want the hormone therapy to be noticeably stronger, please.”

Dr. Kylie turned to Mom, “It looks like we can agree to that. Would you like your first shot before you go, or would you rather get away with your mother sooner?” It took a half hour, but I was given my first shot. I also have an appointment to see a therapist, Regina Tanner.

After driving us home, Mom took me to her bedroom. It is the first time I feel like Melanie, being in my Mom’s room as her daughter. I am nervous like never before and shudder as many new feelings wash over me. It is actually neater than what I felt when I was giving birth. “Mom, I feel like your daughter and it feels so good.”

“I know dear, I can see it in your eyes. Somehow I know they’re Melanie’s eyes and I feel happy for you. Melanie, you are my daughter. Was there something you thought of at the doctor’s office you wanted to talk about?”

“Mom, this is going to sound crazy and a daughter probably shouldn’t say or talk about this with her Mom. I would be talking with Marti if I didn’t with you, and I don’t think that would be right for either of you.”

“I love Trudy, but I don’t want us to promise forever yet. I do want to make love to her as Melanie. I wouldn’t tell you about it, but I don’t want it as something cheap. I don’t know what happens if girls are found crying in their room without telling their Mom why.”

Mom sighs as she hugs me; she kisses my forehead. “What Mom?”

“You’re going to learn soon enough. Moms, daughters, women in general have sighs and moments words can’t express. It’s going to seem strange for both of us. We’re going to talk and just be there for each other in ways that wouldn’t have happened before. Yet somehow, I’ve felt this spirit in you before. The fact our first talk is on such a subject is unusual and a bit more forthright to say the least.”

Mom paused, now I’m wondering if it were a mistake to mention about making love with Trudy. Then Mom pulls me to her again and we’re just there for a while. “Thanks for trusting me about Trudy; I’m only going to say there are decisions only you can make. It’s not about being given permission; I don’t think you were even asking for that. You need to know I love you. And I have very mixed emotions; I won’t give you permission, nor just say ‘No.’ Please know I don’t want anything ever to be so big that my love for you won’t be bigger.”

“You and I can both be stubborn or strong willed. Sometimes it might take a while for the love… the love to show through.” Mom’s eyes and voice filled with emotions as did mine. We are crying but neither of us is hurting.

“Melvin,” Mom looks at me with tears in her eyes, “I don’t think I’m ever going to fully have you back again. You’re welcome, very welcome if you do. I want to seriously talk about whether this is a good idea. We need to do it soon. Please do not go rushing off with Trudy or without seeing this from Melvin’s point of view.

‘Lastly, I need a chance to say how much I love you and to say good-bye with Melvin if that’s the choice to be made. So many memories of Melvin will always be with you. You couldn’t have had a better guy to begin your life as Melanie.”

Sara knocked at the door, “I know this is a special time, but Trudy and Aunt Marti have each called.”

We checked our watches and over three hours had passed like thirty minutes. “Thanks, I guess we will have to learn to have out these moments. Hopefully not so long, yet it was time well needed.”

Mom looked at me, “Don’t you have a dance to go to tonight?”

“Steven will need to realize a girl can change her mind. There is no way I can go to the dance and act like something big didn’t just happen.”

Sara’s home from college and after I talk to Trudy, I look for Sara to talk. Sara soon calls off her plans and takes me up to her room for a talk. The last big talk we had there was when I was dressing as Jill. She smiled, shook her head and giggled, “You know when you were dressing as Jill, I thought you were in over your head. But I could never have dreamed how beautifully this is turning out.”

“I know you’re not deciding everything now, but I was thinking. Your breasts already are developing as a girl. Are you going to have your… penis removed?”

“I’ve not decided, I only know they’re not Melanie’s. I was told I need to talk to other doctors and people… other than Dr. Kylie. I realized earlier today not only how much I want to be a girl, but I want to be your sister. I want to be Mom and Dad’s daughter and to have close girlfriends like Sandy and Sharon as well as Trudy.”

Sara and I talked a good hour before our stomachs began to make noises. Sara asked, “Do you think you’re able to manage finding out who you really are concerning being a guy or woman without you and Trudy tearing apart?”

“I understand what you’re wanting as my sister and I’m with you all the way. I’d just encourage you to slow down and just walk along with her. You need to learn about loving who you love. You might think seriously about going to the same university yet each have your lives a bit apart… I mean like not rooming together or taking the same major or many of the same classes.”

To be continued…

I returned to Aunt Marti’s and Sara had come with me for the night. We both give Aunt Marti big hugs; Sara sat with her as I tended to dinner. Aunt Marti had much of it ready to cook. Cooking dinner gave me a quiet time to reflect on the last few days. I’m tickled; Dr. Kylie and Mom are supportive with my change. It is nice to feel like I’m being treated maturely.

Marti and Sara come in and Sara pushes me aside, “Pardon me but I’m taking over so our dinner doesn’t burn.” I look and I had everything set to high. We’re all lucky they came in when they did or we’d be eating burnt offerings.

“Is something you want to tell Trudy distracting you,” asks Sara? “Maybe you need to go see her at work.” Aunt Marti smiles as she’s handed me her car keys.

I said, “I already sent a message for her to call me after work.”

Aunt Marti stops me as I try to pick up Suzi. “Please go and see her at work; your mind is already there.”

I go to my room and make a quick change; I put on a simple silver grey skirt that Trudy has commented on. I put on a pink blouse with a crocheted lace vest. It’s the first time for this combination; I think they make a nice outfit. I do my make-up a little bolder but not with the flash if it were a date. I pass Sara and Marti’s quick inspection. It only takes a few minutes to get to the store.

I can’t help but reflect as I walked in that all this started with coming dressed as Jill with Trudy as my Jack. I noticed on the way in that Trudy’s on register nine and the store’s modestly busy. Some workers and a few customers notice me when I come in. Some aren’t putting a name and face together yet. I walk casually to Trudy’s register. She smiles as she sees me and her eyes shift to the left, seemingly encouraging me to look there as well. A giggle climbs into my throat. Mrs. Kendral is Trudy’s customer. She’s the owner’s wife and someone who’s been very kind to us.

I haven’t seen her in over a month but she quickly smiles as she notices me. “Hi, Melanie” I detect some teasing as she says, “I’m afraid you’re distracting her while she’s working and you should know better than that. My suggestion is that you tell me what has you looking so radiant tonight and she can listen in.”

“Truth be told Ms. Kendral, my aunt kicked me out and told me to come and see Trudy. I was way too distracted to be of help to her.”

Ms Kendral asked, “Could you turn around slowly, I want to see now proficient you are with clothes, hair and make-up?” I twirled slowly around as I assured her, “Yes, I’m getting to be, but I did have my sister and Aunt checked just in case.” I go quiet and Hannah quickly picks it up.

She turns to Trudy, “It must be something special; I suggest you try to take a break after me.” Trudy smiles to both of us. Her eyes ask what’s up. I shake my head and try to convey with my eyes its good news. Trudy shakes her head, “It’s very good to see you, I’ll be eager for our visit.”

I didn’t notice but Hannah had come over to me, “I hope you don’t mind how much of a girl you have become?” Then she dropped to a whisper, “Would you like to remain as Melanie?”

My shock must be apparent as she continues. “While I haven’t seen you to talk with in a while; I have seen you around town and once with a few shopping bags coming out of Carol’s Dress Shoppe. They say it’s easier to tell what’s real when the cameras aren’t on.” I hadn’t realized she grabbed a gift card as she was checking out. I did hear her tell Trudy to make it for …fifty dollars. Ms Kendral hands it to me, “I hope you like New York and Company.”

I’m speechless, till Trudy giggles, “Just say thank you, close your mouth and smile.”

“Thank you Ms. Kendral but fifty dollars is too much.” Trudy coughs lightly, “That was one hundred and fifty dollars.” I begin to shout my thank you and reach over to give Hannah a big hug with big tears in my eyes. “This day had just been too special… How did you know! The doctor only agreed earlier today. I came to tell Trudy before I told anyone.”

Hannah and Trudy both have very big smiles on their face. Trudy comes around and gives me a big hug, “No one knew, you just told us. Melanie your face has become as expressive as any girl I know.”

Tom the store manager is coming over, Ms. Kendral waved him off. “It’s not store business, and you don’t need to know,” she told him. She goes over to Tom, Trudy is told to take her break, after she finishes checking out Ms Kendral. We both thank her for being so good to us. Then we’re off for fifteen minutes.

“I’m sorry Trude,” we find a spot to exchange a not so little kiss. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you.” I share what I can. Break areas are not conducive to serious conversation. On Trudy’s way to clock back in, Tom says she can have the rest of the night off if she wishes it. Tom signs her card out for the night.

No sooner than I tell her, “Dr. Kylie says my body is developing its own hormones and my breasts are developing on their own.” Trudy lets her hand slide down over my breasts and enjoys my body’s response to her touch.

“I’m sorry Melanie that was rude but it excites me. I’m surprised I did that.” We both go back to Aunt Marti’s house where the girls are all off to bed. Aunt Marti is bringing out Megan to nurse, “Why don’t you get your girls while we enjoy some girl talk.” Trudy comes with me saying she’ll get Sarai and I can get Amanda.

Caring for them has a calming effect and grounds my being Melanie. I am more than a little embarrassed as Marti, Sara and Trudy have a great need to share stories about budding breasts. Sara helps me to discretely as possible to remove my breast forms. My growing breasts seem anti-climatic with Marti nursing Megan across from me. Yet I’m taken with how they appreciate how moving the day has been for me.

Marti invited Trudy to stay overnight with us. It allowed Trudy and me to stay up talking well passed 1:00 a.m. While I’m very tired, I’m too wired with emotions and thoughts to fall asleep. Trudy is not trying to excite me too much or to make-out with me but she is keeping me in Nirvana.

Despite the fact at eighteen, I am looking like a fourteen year old girl; Trudy is treating me as a beautiful woman. “Mel if we’re to be together your sense of beauty has to come from within. I know you’re use to thinking as a dumb boy right now. Knowing how your Aunt, Mom and Sara are endowed; it probably indicates how nicely you might become. But you need to be comfortable being you. Melanie, you’re already pretty but I hope you will grow as a girl in how you measure yourself and look at the world.”

“What do you mean our world?” I’ve turned toward Trudy and could feel her breathe.

“You’re re-entering life as a girl; falling in love with you has pushed me out of my box too. I used to be a stereotypical straight girl. It will be helpful if we don’t have the baggage of looking through old ways of thinking. The world even has many women look at it with a strong male bias. It is hard for a woman to measure up to terms and measurements that aren’t even healthy if we do.”

Its morning as I wake up to Aunt Marti’s voice and the touch of her hand on my shoulder, “Hey sleepy head everyone else is already up. Put on your robe and come to the breakfast table.” I feel embarrassed that Aunt Marti caught me sleeping with Trudy. Except when I look she’s not there. I do a quick inventory before I pull off the sheet.

I take care of necessary things, brush my hair out enough to look okay and make my way to the breakfast table. I forgot my robe but the nightgown is modest so I’m good. Sherry’s cute as she insists on sitting between Trudy and me. “Untie Melwanie, when yu here yu’d nee to gib’me moor ‘tention.”

I look to see her cute smile trying to be a stern face. I give her a hug and confess my guilt. “Sorry Sherry, you are correct I need to love you and Suzi more than I have. But you do know I love you, don’t you?”

“I no’d, but yu’d show moor.” I can tell sharing life with a new sister and their Dad away hurts, makes a big girl’s problems small.

I look to Marti, Trudy is touching her hand. I help Sheri to eat and help feed Suzy. Suzy’s messy plate used to upset my appetite. I help her so it doesn’t wreck Trudy or Sara’s. We have eggs, bacon, fruit, toast, juice and milk. Between Suzi, Sherry and my dolls, my breakfast is more an act of nibbling here and there. I think it helps me from gaining weight. I feel my waist and I’m happy that it is more girl-like.

Trudy shares about the gift card I received from Mrs. Kendral, catching my sister and aunt by great surprise. Marti speaks first, “Wow Melanie, I knew you’ve impressed us but Ms Kendral. That is very nice, I think it says a lot for Mrs. Kendral as well as you.”

Trudy acknowledges, “Yes, she’s taken a liking to Melvin, Melanie. She keeps asking about her coming back to work.”

Sara, “Think of what you might like to buy to make sure you get what you really like and want. Window shop, try a number of things on before you decide what you want to buy.”

“Do you think they will have prom dresses,” I ask?

Marti is now hugging me from behind, “No, I don’t think they do. But buying clothes for a good wardrobe will allow you to put some of your savings toward your prom. Plus Uncle Ron and I will help toward your Prom gown. We thought with all your help to me and the girls, we should help make your prom experience a little extraordinary. We didn’t know if you’d like a gift certificate to Carol’s or for me just to help pay for it wherever you might get. Right now think about using the gift card/”

“It is almost two months away, I have plenty of time to shop for a prom gown.”

“You have a lot to learn as a boy,” says Aunt Marti.

“Girl thinking is her problem,” Trudy interjects. “Melanie, you should be shopping now. You can have fun trying on some you can only dream of buying. But you don’t want to dream too long and see your gown leave with someone else. Plus you need time to select your shoes and lingerie and in our case coordinate with me.”

“Does that mean you asked me to your prom?”

Marti’s phone rang and it became obvious that Mom had called.

Trudy lightly says to me, “You know it would be neat if your Mom and I go prom shopping with you. I remember my Mom with me two years ago. I’m glad we did it together. This is your Mom’s one chance to do it with you.”

I pull a Melvin and yell hoping I’m heard over the phone. “Mom can we go shopping for a prom dress. Trudy wants to go with us.”

Marti looks at me, “You’re Mom says yes, but you’ll need to call her back after our conversation if you are not grounded by your Aunt.”

“Way to go Sis,” Sara pushed me away from the breakfast table. “That is a bad guy habit you have of pushing your way into other people’s conversations. I think the Bridgewater Mall’s New York store is the best one in our area.” Trudy quickly agrees.

“Do you girls evaluate each store and mall?” I ask in jest.

“Sure as well as online buying. Don’t get an attitude about it; you’ll be doing it soon,” Sara says. She teases, “You’ll soon be having your favorite make-up, salon and even panties.”

Trudy giggled, “I think she likes ‘boy shorts for panties, but that might be only while she has that little worm.” I quickly realize teasing like this could become hard to take. I try to attack my sister, but I’m quickly on the floor with Sara and Trudy tickling me. I see Sherry running over and expect she will protect Unt Melwanie. Wrong again, she pounces on my belly as she busts into giggles and tickling me.

“Untie Mewa-nee, yu pantee show’n.”

I am in my room getting dressed so I can take Trudy home to change, when my Smart Phone sounds off. It’s a boy name Travis, another senior from school. “Hi Melanie, this is Travis… I heard that new guy Steven asked you to the prom. I figured if Trudy isn’t a lock for coming with you to our prom, I wanted to call and ask you to come as my date.”

I’m shocked Travis and I have been friends at least since fifth grade. “But you’ve known me as a boy and we’re friends. I think you’re cute and everything but don’t you think it would be odd to be dating as boy and girl?

“I figured if you’re still going as Melanie by the prom you’re seriously girl. I thought back in eighth grade you’d be better as a girl. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I think you’re a neat girl. If you’re willing to go out with a guy, seriously as a girl I’d like to date you.”

I fall back onto my bed as we talk. Travis has to be 6’ 2” with dirty blonde hair. He just turns eighteen at the end of this month, so he could easily be 6’ 4” or better by the time he quits growing. This is stupid, but just talking to him excites me.

“So what do you think Melanie?” I didn’t know what he just said, how am I to answer.

“Sorry Travis, the phone just broke up what you said, can you say that again.

I hear Sara near my door and wonder how close Trudy is. “Travis, I’m not saying what I’m doing yet, but if you like me why don’t you talk to me at school?”

“I’ve talked to you and you didn’t even blink at me. I even caused you to walk around me or notice me. You walked around me both times.”

“I’m sorry but a number of guys that do that have tried to give me trouble. I won’t promise to date you or anything about the prom. I’d enjoy you being my friend again. That’s how I think it should be first anyway.” I’m back up to finish changing, “Travis, I need to get going, but thanks for calling.”

He said, “I haven’t been to church lately. I’ll plan to go and sit in the balcony if you say you’ll go.” I paused before I finally heard him mutter “Okay.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but I need to say, Good-bye till then Travis.”

I pull out a pair of dark rose, crushed velour leggings with a long cream sweater dress. It is a cold day out and this looks feminine and will be warm. I open the bedroom door a crack and as I’m doing my make-up and hair. Trudy’s there to talk. She showers and changes into one of Sara old outfits to get home. I enjoy when she stops a moment to put her arms around me and nuzzled me.

I try the same thing but it is unusual to embrace her and have my breasts come between us. I know I need to get use to it. It’s just a reminder that things are different. I love being Melanie; I’m just not use to me yet. Trudy picks out a necklace and asks me to turn around as she puts it around my neck. It’s something simple, yet nice. I pick an old pinky ring of Sara’s to go with it. Trudy congratulated me on my nice choice.

Trudy drives home and I go with her. Mrs. Brandt greets me warmly, “Melanie, I like the new look; it’s like you’re one of the girls. Trudy says you two are going to shop for your prom gown with your mother. Is she excited to be shopping with her new daughter? Your first time shopping for a prom dress is such a memory. Take your time and make sure you get the right one.”

“Mrs. Brandt, can I ask you, if you’re alright with me going to Trudy’s Prom as another girl?”

She smiled and took me by the hand to the sofa where we sat together. “I must say I wouldn’t have predicted it. For years Trudy talked of her friend and co-worker Melvin. He was special but never a boy friend. Even months ago I would have hoped it wouldn’t happen. Now it would be upsetting if you two didn’t go together.”

“Melanie, I would like you to let me know if you decide to remain a girl the remainder of the year. I would like for Trudy and I to take you out shopping for a new outfit and a girls’ dinner out.”

“I…” I didn’t know how to tell her as I didn’t want to sound like I was after the outfit.

Mrs. Brandt giggles, “I’m sorry, I kind of set you up. Trudy told me it is likely you’ll decide to stay in girl mode if you’re going as Melanie to the Prom. …Now may I pry? Does this mean you’re just crossdressing until the end of the school year? Or are you planning to remain Melanie?”

Trudy has come back into the room. “Mom and I talked last weekend. I said that I thought you might stay as a girl. Mom’s only concern was I didn’t feel guilty for causing this, which I had some.”

“Mrs. Brandt, is it okay if Trudy goes with me and my Mom to begin shopping for my prom gown? Would you be free to come with us?”

Mrs. Brandt lights up, “O that is so nice you asked and it tempts me so much. Alas I’m tied up until 3:00. I would appreciate if you find one, please call me to come see it. I’d be happy to treat the four of us for dinner.”

Trudy pulls me by the arm saying good-bye to her mom.

“Hey girl, what are you doing? You can’t invite someone else out on your mother/daughter time. It is nice enough you invited me along. Plus it will be hard enough for you to select anything with two other women with you.”

“Come on, we’ll have a good hour and a half to shop at New York and Company.” When we got there, I was heading toward the clearance racks to make my money go further. Trudy tugs me over to the spring fashions. “Don’t embarrass Ms Kendral by doing that those things are for winter anyway. You should be able to get two or three nice outfits or dresses.”

A sales woman comes over and asks what sizes and styles we’re looking for. Trudy says 10 and I disagreed with a smile. “No, I’m an eight now.”

Trudy looked me up and down, “Way to go Melanie, congratulations.”

“I’d like to find two good skirt/top combinations and one nice spring dress. Hopefully we’ll be able to get one or two today.”

Gina introduces herself, “Congratulations on your new size, you are very pretty. Would you like to begin with looking at skirts or dresses? Do you have to replace your spring wardrobe because of your change in sizes?”

Looking over to Trudy, “Yes something like that.”

I hear another girl’s voice behind me, “If she has a spring wardrobe to replace…” I turn to see who’s speaking when I hear Trudy speak up.

“Hi Dawn. Melanie this is a friend and classmate Dawn, Dawn you know Melanie, but I don’t think you’ve really met.” I look at the skirts where Gina has stopped. It isn’t a problem to find any that I like, but I cough when I check the price tags.

“They’re 20% off and if you get a second outfit or dress that is 30% off. Let me show you why you’ll want to consider these.” She shows me the lining and stitching around the waist, the matching up of one section to another. I act nonchalant about understanding what she is saying. I remembered hearing this in the past when I tagged along with my Mom or sister; today the importance registers. I have a rose pink skirt as well as a flowered print skirt as I head to the changing room.

I hear Dawn begin to ask what I’m doing. Trudy steps forward handing me a white blouse. Trudy thought and I didn’t. It would be hard trying on skirts and things with a long sweater dress. I model both and Dawn agrees with me. We both lean to the floral print but Trudy holds out a different floral print that she says compliments my coloring.

Dawn is beaming as she and Trudy help me in selecting tops. She’s touched my shoulder feeling my bra strap and took hold of my hand looking meticulously close at my fingers. “Do I pass for a girl,” I ask?

Now she smiles like a little girl caught in the act. “I’m sorry that’s insensitive, but yes you pass amazingly well.” With a delicate touch she traces over one of my eyebrows. “I watched you play baseball against my brother two years ago. I don’t see any trace of that boy save your long eyelashes.” I see her resemblance to Mike Pipers. She says, “I had a crush on you then.”

She holds up a thin blouse in front of me. “You know this would be very pretty on you. You would want a camisole underneath unless you were comfortable people seeing you budding figure.”

Trudy says, “Melanie, she has succeeded in bringing a blush to your face.”

We are walking out after two hours selecting two skirts and four tops. I would have spent the whole gift card except with the discounts and some of my own money I still have some thirty dollars to put toward a dress. I’m pretty sure I saw the dress I’d like to buy. Trudy encouraged me not to rush.

We still reached my parents house with time to spare before shopping with my mom. I go to the refrigerator and pull out a twenty once Dew. Trudy slaps my hand away from opening it. “Do you want to destroy your work in getting down to a size 8?” Trudy looked and pulled out two lemons and poured the water, Mom and Sara keep in the refrig.

I hoped I’d get away with just showing my Mom and Sara what I got, but no I had to model one of my outfits. It isn’t that I mind, but my pattern of thinking is still as a guy. Sara has a new pair of designer jeans and a cami top that she models for us.

Sara asks, “Have you decided which of you is going with the full gown?” I don’t have the foggiest idea of what she’s talking about, but looking to Trudy, I see she understands. Sara explains two full gowns would make it harder to dance and draw close. Sara reminds me of the sleek gown she had last year. It was as beautiful as any other gown and the way it hugged her body and with the slit up one side it was to die for.

Mom hands me my purse, “Come on young lady, I don’t want to hear any comparisons when you’re trying a gown. If you can’t enjoy shopping for your prom dress then you shouldn’t go. And we’re off to shop for my prom dress…

To be continued…

While I like Carol’s Dress Shoppe, I’m not ready to be looking at prom dresses and making changes at a women’s store in my home town. We go out at the Bridal Emporium, I began to get goosebumps as I went in. Mom and Trudy smiled as they saw my excitement and nerves. Going through the door I couldn’t help but go over to a beautiful bridal gown displayed in front of us. I lightly touch the gown, it’s satin and lace and totally beautiful.

Mom lightly giggled, “Don’t get too far ahead of your self young lady, today should be very quite enough.”

True enough, slinking into these gowns would be such a wonderful girl experience that this boy couldn’t imagine. Trying on my third gown, I talked Trudy into trying a red gown. They are both sleek gowns that glide down our bodies and hug snuggly with our figures. My gown is a royal blue that looked especially pretty on me. I was taken aback as the slit came up my left leg half way up my thigh.

“Mom, I couldn’t wear anything like this?” Her only response was, “Why not, you have the legs for it?”

“I can’t believe a Mom said that to her son as a daughter.”

“I redefined my definition of modesty with your sister. I think a flattering gown like this would force you to refine your feminine side as well.”

Trudy came out of her dressing room and we both took turns spinning around and looking at the other. She looked astonishingly beautiful as always. It felt so nice to put an arm around her as we pose for a couple of pictures. I think the saleswoman was caught off guard when we passionately kissed. But as Trudy whispered, “That’s her problem.”

There is a breathtaking gown I find. It is an off pink with one shoulder strap. It is mostly satin with lace at the top, curving has it cascades down the left side and filling the bottom six inches of the gown. It does have a silver and deep red etching in the front that make it one of a kind. With a $395.00 price tag I am neither ready to buy it nor do I want to take a risk of losing it. It cost me fifty dollars to put a hold on it.

We are allowed a swatch for Trudy to use as she will shop for her gown next as well as look for other possibilities for me. Going into Carol’s Dress Shoppe the pressure was off of me to find a gown, but I enjoyed looking any way. Friends in the store enjoy teasing me. Sharon for one said, “I wished you were a girl when you came over to pay with my brothers.” We agreed that the friendship between us would now be first.

Carol’s Towne Shoppe as well as the bridal store were working hard to keep gowns on their hangers and available for the swarms of girls looking for a prom dress. The Towne Shoppe estimated over a hundred gowns had been tried on today already, and over thirty-five have been purchased and another fifteen had been reserved for purchase.

Trudy modeled a beautiful gown and while she liked it, she says it’s not a perfect fit for us. Trish her sales woman asks to see a picture of my gown and the swatch of material again. Trudy wanted to stop looking for the day, except Trish nicely asked if she could pick three gowns for Trudy to consider. One is a very beautiful black gown with a pattern of sequins beautifully accenting the gown. It was very beautiful but not for a prom.

The second gown is very pretty and could look very pretty on the right girl. Trudy was waiting to see the third gown but said it would likely be a waste of time. It is a silver and blue gown as every bit as glamorous as mine and to my way of thinking very vivacious. It appeared to be a very good compliment to my gown but none of us were quite sure.

While we’re stewing over our predicament Carol came to find out what our problem was. She too loved Trudy’s gown and was all but certain the two gowns would work well together. She had Trish bag the gown and use Carol’s vehicle to drive up with us to the bridal boutique. Carol arranged that they allow us to first compare both gowns, with us to try them both on.

Trudy had selected a bra to try with her gown with the expectation of buying it. My sales woman and Mom helped me once again to slink into my gown. Mom warned me, “Young lady, you will need to watch your weight and keep yourself in shape to look this beautiful come prom night.” I smoothed my hands down over the gown as I step out of the dressing room. Trish had come out from being with Trudy. Trudy allowed for a moment to raise our anticipation, before she stepped out.

“Wow”, was the unanimous decision of everyone including other shoppers.

Trudy and I both agreed to purchase our selected gowns and each needed to be measured and pinned for alterations to allow a glove like fit for each gown to be complete. Trudy rode back with Trish and Carol. Trudy called her Mom to meet her there. My Mom stayed with me and called Sara, “Hurry over if you want to see your beautiful sister in a most gorgeous gown.” The Bridal Emporium had me try a three and then a four inch heel before fitting the gown. I selected a three inch heel shoe that would be dyed to match my gown.

A call went home for Dad to be ready to take his women out to dinner along with the Brandt’s, if they were willing. I thought it might be a tug of war who would pay the bill.

It took some forty minutes to be properly fitted along with the purchase of satin panties and an eloquent bra. The price of my gown and accessories was already up over $550, which for a girl might not sound outrageous. I was torn between loving it as Melanie thinking it is reasonable, and the Melvin who thought anything over one hundred dollars was ungodly.

Mom and I quickly agreed I’m not to take anything more than $125 from Aunt Marti and Uncle Ron. Mom said she and dad will pay another three hundred dollars as well as my salon visit. “Mom, I need to begin working again so I can afford this.”

Mom smiles, “That would be alright but let us just take things one day at a time right now. You are doing well in school and you are learning to be a woman for the lifetime ahead of you. Today, just enjoy the moment you are having.”

We were finishing up and preparing to leave the Bridal Emporium when Sara came trotting into the store eager to see my gown. I wasn’t sure if her smile was contagious or it’s my nature as a girl taking over. I grab Sara’s hand and take her back past the dressing rooms to the fitting room where they were just covering my gown. “May I show my gown to my sister pretty please?”

The woman giggled at my saying “pretty please” and graciously helped to show it off. She asked Sara, “Hasn’t your sister selected a beautiful gown? She looked astonishingly beautiful in the heels she’ll’’ be wearing.” Sara looked at the gown and then to me. “It is very beautiful little Sis and tell me how high will the heels be.”

I shied back and then told her, “They’re three inches; I know they should be four inches but I really don’t think I could handle more than an hour at that.”

The seamstress said, “Her girlfriend was more than pleased with how beautiful she’ll be in the heels she chose.” I had not realize, the woman realized, Trudy and I are a couple. “Thank you,” I told her. “Did you think my girlfriend and her gown are beautiful as well?”

“Yes, young lady you both have beautiful gowns and they looked extraordinarily well together. And may I say Melanie you seem to be as wonderful as all the things I’ve heard people say about you.”

“You know who I am?” She shook her head yes and stepped forward to give me a hug. “Young people like you are not very common, so it gives me joy to see you carry yourself so well and be accepted.”

Sara grabbed my hand and reminded me, “Mom and Dad are waiting.” The ride to back down to Carol’s found Trudy still having her gown pinned for alterations. She had two other girls ahead of her when she got back. Mrs. Brandt was there asking Mom if she had a picture of me in my gown. She and Mom looked at pictures on her smart phone. I heard Mrs. Brandt say, “O they look beautiful together.”

Dad took us out to Snuffy’s where I order the petite sirloin. Tonight they had a roving violinist who came around as asked if we had any requests. Trudy spoke up, “Do you know Melanie’s theme?” The violinist shook his head until Trudy said, “Some know it as ‘Laura’s Theme’ but my friend Melanie just selected her first prom gown tonight at it is so beautiful.”

The violinist quickly recovered, “O yes Melanie’s theme. But do you not agree, Miss Melanie is so much more beautiful than the actress who portrayed her?” He began playing the music and signaled the hostess who brings two roses over.

It was after 10:00 p.m. when I’m dropped off at Aunt Marti’s. Mom came into say hello and goodnight to Aunt Marti and the girls, but it was midnight before she and Dad left. I fell asleep on the sofa snuggling Suzi in my arms.

It was close to 8:00 a.m. when Sharon phoned me, “I was wondering if I could go with you to church, I heard you’re meeting Travis there. Rumor also has it you purchased a prom gown yesterday.”

I didn’t feel like dragging myself out of bed so I began to make an excuse. “Don’t go there girl. A little cold water and some make-up will have you looking fine. If I’m willing to go for moral support you can make the effort.”

I made my way to the bathroom. When I look in the mirror I was glad to see I removed my make-up last night, though I didn’t remember doing so. Remembering what Sharon said I began the shower cool. Shampooing and conditioning my hair helped me come back to life. I so love having girl’s hair and prettying myself up. It was ten minutes before 9:30 and the beginning of worship when Sharon beeped her horn to give me a ride.

I was not sure why I am seeing Travis if I’m committed to Trudy. It did please me that a boy and longtime friend has found me attractive. Travis usually sat in the balcony of the sanctuary as I do and most of the high school teenagers. I was tempted to sit in my regular area but Sharon gave me a push in Travis’ direction.

During the singing I was more animated than Melvin would be. Sharon and I were especially into the contemporary praise songs. It was during the offering I overheard a caustic comment directed at me being dressed as a girl. I stepped to walk out and Sharon moved to block me. “You are not walking out and leaving the church to that small minded person.” It wasn’t even a question; Sharon smiled and strongly encouraged me to sit.

When the service was over Travis asked to visit with me. “I understand you are very close to Trudy, but I’d still like to be your friend again. Times like this morning especially causes me to want to be a friend for you.”

Sharon spoke up, “You know we often like to go out just as friends and to have a few guys around is nice. Just don’t go changing your mind and try getting possessive with any of us.” Travis mentioned the bowling party the youth fellowship was having. Sharon called another girl and the four of us agreed to go. Back at Aunt Marti’s Sharon visits with me, “You know, with Trudy’s blessing or not you need to learn to be friends, especially with guys.”

I started to fall asleep when Sharon led me to my bedroom and helped me to get ready for a nap. I was about ready to slip back under a sheet Aunt Marti came into the room. “I don’t mean to be strict or mean you two, but Sharon’s helping you to change is a little out of line.”

“I’m sorry Aunt Marti,” Sharon said, “But as far as I helped her she was still all girl.” Marti gave Sharon a hug and me a kiss on my forehead.

“I trust you, but it could be easy for her to see your actions and… Never mind and thank you, Melanie’s lucky to have friends like you and Sandy.” I guess before they left my bedroom I was already fast asleep.

The coming week at school, things began to change. While my report and presentation about Shadowing Aunt Marti during her pregnancy and my pretending to be pregnant were judge to be very good. They received with mixed reactions from students, as well as some teachers who only heard about it. Some girls stated, it made them uncomfortable that a boy would enjoy such experiences. One girl told someone, “It seems weird that Melvin could talk to me about things intimate to a girl.”

Mike Reece said, “Melanie I don’t care if you’re a guy or a girl you have to be a Sissy in the first degree to begin to think like that.”

I told him, “I had thought that way at the beginning of the school year. But now I’m glad I’m not where you are.”

Nurse Hansen interrupted, “Melanie, this started out as a discipline for Melvin. What did you learn from your discipline?”

“I didn’t think the school would allow me to go through something like the reporter challenged. I learned differently. The experience of acting and dressing like a girl embarrassed me. I think others thought it would gross me out and cause me to quit. I don’t know when I began to feel more and more like a girl and that Melanie was really me. I guess it helped to have people who helped me.”

“I thought it helped for the longest time that others and I thought it was just pretend. I think some like Sandy and my friend Trudy and my sister realized I was changing. I don’t know if I have more or less friends than when I started. I do appreciate more my friends now.”

Sharon broke the ice when she asked me a question at the end of my conversation. “Did you think before that you had pretty legs worthy of a mini-skirt? Seriously, what does it mean to have the respect of other girls?”

I didn’t remember all the questions or my answers, but I realized I learned more than I thought. Like what another girl thinks of the way another girl is dressed? That should mean more than what boys say or usually forget to say.

I shared with more people. I’ve met some friends through BC who are like me, except they have had many more experiences. Like Sandy and Sharon there are a few friends there, whose acceptance and wisdom became real important! When someone tempts me to think I’m sick, they usually help me to accept where I am. Being me has changed and I am very young as Melanie.

It was the end of the school day and I’m leaning against my locker. I heard Sandy’s voice, “Earth to Melanie, wake up school is over. Are you and Trudy going out with us tonight?” Sharon was there with Sandy and we’re to meet some other girls at Friendly’s for a little ice cream and a lot of talking. I smiled and walked with them to the car. I knew I don’t need to answer. This gave us a chance to talk about what we wore tonight and which movie we wanted to see.

Getting together with others gets me out of my own head. There are two girls Karen and Joann I don’t visit with much outside of this group. I liked being around them because I like their taste in clothes. They don’t know it, but I get ideas from them. I am glad there are no markdowns for plagiarizing ideas off of other girls.

Sandy and Joann turned and asked me, “Are you open to going out for track?” I ran track in 9th and in 10th grade until I had an accident in track practice. I never thought much about girls’ track then or now.

“No, I never thought about it. I’m going back to work.” I looked at Sandy and I could tell she hoped I would consider it. So I responded, “You don’t want me, I wouldn’t be any good.”

Joann spoke, “Sandy won’t tell you but she was hoping you’d give it a try. A number of us girls are going to start running on Monday to get is shape. It would be nice if you gave it a try.”

“What good would it do me, even if I could make the team?”

Sharon giggled, “It might help you to fit in your prom dress.”

Someone else said, “Look, you got Melanie thinking with that. She truly is getting a bit girly.” There are a lot of giggles at that. It is 4:30 before Sandy gave me a ride home.

I quickly changed and helped Marti with her girls. They were going over to Grandma’s house. I helped give Suzi and Sherry baths and changed into clean outfits. Aunt Marti got a chance to take a relaxing shower after nursing Megan. I changed Megan and put her in a new sleeper. It was a busy hour and a half until they left for Grandma’s at 6:00 p.m.

Marti told me to have a good time tonight and make sure I took everything I needed to stay over Trudy’s. “I left you a check list of things to make sure you have everything with you. It’s on the kitchen table.”

I showered, first the water and then washing sent an exciting tingle from my budding breasts. It was so freaking nice to shampoo and condition my hair and I felt like a young princess coming alive. I sang in the shower. Only washing between my legs upset me but good hygiene and feeling fresh required it.

I wore a pastel yellow panty bra set that felt as pretty as they look. I wore my sheer blouse. ‘I knew it wasn’t spring but Trudy’s car was well heated I should be okay.’ My red skirt stopped above the knees. I chickened a little and wore a white button down sweater but it was open to my sheer blouse. It kind of looked cute and safe at the same time. I had a delicate two strand gold chain necklace and a gold and red accented bracelet. Finishing my makeup sent shivers through me. “I’ve done it!” Neither Aunt Marti nor my Sis helped me or had to do the inspection.

It is 8:00 p.m. when the doorbell rang. I opened the door; Trudy took a quick look and smiled. “You look very pretty but what’s with the prideful smile?”

“I dressed and got ready myself. I’ve done that for school but this is the first time for a date. I think I did pretty well if I say so myself.” Trudy twirls her hand wanting me to do the same. I did and she was happy as she stepped forward, “you did very well” and she gave me a warm kiss. “Would it be okay if I unbuttoned your sweater a little so your pretty blouse shows more?”

When she recognized the multi color sheer blouse she said, “Once we’re in the theater, it will be nice enjoying you and your blouse.”

Trudy continued, “To change the subject I need to share that Denise called and asked if she and her date, your friend Travis could come.”

I asked, “What will you think if he came?”

Trudy looked gently at me, “Truthfully, I’ll be looking to see if he can just be - friend. It would be nice to have some guys who are just friends. I hope he can, but part of me is a little afraid I might lose you to him.”

“I’m sure I can be just a friend; I guess tonight is as good as any to find out. I know firsthand a guy can do it any one time. It would be nice to have a friend like him who knew me from before.”

I got my purse and my beige winter coat and I’m ready to leave until Trudy saw Aunt Marti’s note. I didn’t have tissue or a girl’s handkerchief; the lipstick I was wearing tonight wasn’t yet in my purse. And I was also about to forget my overnight bag.

Trudy and I rode to pick up Sharon and her date John as his license was suspended. I was not sure if it was the police or his parents who lifted his license.

It was just before nine when we got there for the 9:15 showing. It was a romantic movie attractive for us women are very attractive and some action acceptable with the guys as well. I was amused as Denise and Travis make a nice couple. Yes, it felt a bit awkward with Travis being there, but Sharon, Sandy and Ken know him as well. It felt awkward with Denise as well since I hadn’t known she liked Melvin. Neither were secrets we’re needing to hide any longer.

Trudy and I made it through the previews and into the movie before we began to get very affectionate. I think, Trudy was initially shy about us putting an arm around me. She preferred reaching her hand over and slipping it under my sweater. “I’m in love with you Melanie,” she whispered. Our lips are warm as we kissed. Trudy’s tongue gently slips in as her hand touches a breast. I hoped the emotion I felt is singing only in my heart and not out from my mouth.

Trudy finally withdrew her hands when I had difficulty not making sounds. We only had a short time as the eight of us after the movie. Fifteen minutes of that was spent in the girl’s room fixing makeup. It was after midnight when we got to Trudy’s house and 1:00 o’clock when we made it to bed.

Usually we would talk more but we were too interested in being together. I was taken with the patience of Trudy. While we very much enjoyed each other much of our time, one hand was on a cheek, fingers gliding over my back and occasionally the inside of my legs. It took a while before I realized we were already making love. The simple things we were doing created more emotions and sensual feelings than any time I tried to make out with a girl.

I woke in the morning to Trudy brushing my hair aside with a hand and gently planting a kiss firmly, yet gently upon my lips. I gently felt for Trudy, found her hair and the moist lips of her labia. I drew some deep sighs from her before I said, “Thanks, you are so amazing and I love you.” Our legs tied together and we rolled to the other side of her bed.

“We both need a shower,” she said. “It would not help if we did it together. Even if my parents would allow it, but we won’t go there…”

To be continued…

I enjoyed the next few weeks: my relationship with Ms. Braun changed and she became an advocate. I had retaken the SAT entrance exams. The changed results brought other questions and inquiries as my test scores improve immensely. Math already good before rose another 75 points and comprehension and composition which had been only fair had jumped some 300 points. Somehow my understanding of questions and problems had become much clearer and less problematic. I even finished the exam this time, which I had not previously.

Melanie’s retaking of the college entrance tests was strictly monitored in April and confirmed my abilities as the tests results mirrored similar results of late February.

Melanie also received new invitations to visit a number of universities. I made a few of my own with Trudy or Mom’s encouragement. Trudy asked me to visit the state university some twenty-five miles from us. Not sure of my career goals, I communicated my general interest in environmental sciences, business administration, and computer sciences as well as research. It was disheartening to encounter those who discounted my being a woman or having a woman’s persona. They were being sure, they were politically correct and guarded in how they said things when others were around.

Trudy encouraged me to apply to Barnard College which would be hard enough to gain admission to. But Columbia University which is a closely associated with Barnard has only a 7.5% acceptance rate while Barnard in comparison had a gigantic 18%. I loved the idea one professor had of linking my interest in the environment to that of anthropology. After our visit, I was guaranteed acceptance. It was with the provision for summer prerequisites and that I vigorously pursued my change and that my recent academic capabilities continued through graduation and the summer.

Trudy, Mom, and Sandy had accompanied me to my visits at Barnard College in New York City and the state university, while Mom and Dad took Sharon and me to Maryland University and Pittsburg University. I liked the experience of rooming with another girl. It was 1o:30 p.m. when Sharon and I quietly left our room and the hotel in Pittsburgh. Two college girls were to meet us in front to show us college nightlife.

It was the first time either of us had two drinks. I thought Sharon was the straightest of my new found girlfriends. I was wrong, Sharon had been waiting to go away to college and spread her wings. She danced with a guy which excited her enough. It was a table dance she did for a girl name Beth that totally shattered that image. I think she kind of choreographed her fall into Beth’s lap; something Sharon would not confirm or deny.

Beth’s passionate kiss moved Sharon in ways she did not expect. Beth was very nice, after a half hour of Sharon and me being with her and Georgia, she confessed Georgia and she was already an item. She said, “I doubt if you had kissed another girl. We just wanted you to understand the world is bigger than you probably know.”

Sharon shared, “Melanie knows she has a girlfriend.”

Beth retorted, “So did you for a half hour, and I had your juices running, didn’t I?” She put her finger under Sharon’s chin to give her one more kiss. She paused until Sharon opened her eyes again. Sharon met Beth half way and the kiss was passionate on both their parts. Sharon asked me not to share what happened tonight. We did talk about it that night and the following night before we visited the University of Maryland.

I went up to the Bridal Emporium the following Wednesday having received a call that my prom gown was done and needed to be tried on. There was a beautiful bridal gown waiting for a bride and four luscious red satin gowns for the bridesmaids and another beautiful gown for the Maid of Honor. I had just begun to change into my gown when the bride came in. My gown going over me caused me to make some joyful sounds. The bride looked at me and said, “A very beautiful gown on a very beautiful young woman.”

“Thank you,” I said and curtsied just a little.

The seamstress asked, “Melanie, now how does it feel? You can step over to the three mirrors and get a better look as well.”

“I’m sorry,” the bride intruded, “are you, Melanie Greene? …You have an older brother, don’t you? …I knew you like Richard’s little brother.”

I hated girls that measured me as a boy by my brother Richard, I never measured up. “Yes, but he isn’t talking to me as I’m going through this phase than demeans his macho persona.” I continued, “If you’re one of his ex-girlfriends I’m glad to see you got over him and have fallen in love.” I asked sincerely, “When and where is your wonderful wedding to be?”

“I’m Patricia Cummings; I lived in Scotch Plains when I knew your brother. I’ve been away to college and I’ll graduate with my master’s in May from Princeton.” Patricia confessed, “Everything had been going super but my former college roommate and good friend forgot to tell me she is six months along in her pregnancy. I wouldn’t mind paying for her gown and having it altered but her OB doctor has put her on limited activities. She can’t even come here from Denver. It is late to plan around the change.”

I said, “You don’t have one friend that would love to wear one of those luscious gowns? I would have died just to try one on.”

Patricia quickly had a huge glowing smile. “Are you doing anything Saturday,” she asked? She turned to the seamstress and asked, “Is she as close as she looks to Caroline’s gown size, do you know?”

“Well, she would fit the gown very well.” The seamstress looked to me, “There is a price to be paid in wearing one of those beautiful gowns. It is called a corset, but if you’d be willing it could be a great treat.” She turned to Patricia, “If you want her to be bubbling over in the bodice some help will be needed.” She, Patricia and eventually I giggled.

“If you’re going to the prom does that mean I need to worry about a boy as well as your Mom saying it would be okay?” Pat stood there quietly; I hadn’t realized she was serious. “I have a girlfriend that I’m going to prom with. But even if I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t be dependent upon his approval. I can’t speak for Mom’s yes but she should be back momentarily.”

“I am here Patricia; it is nice to see you again. Congratulations on your wedding.” Mom said, “I see you’ve met my youngest. What were you two talking about that would need my approval?”

“One of my bridesmaids, Caroline, she was Caroline Adams from Westfield. She just let me know she is six months pregnant and her doctor has restricted her to Denver, Colorado where she lives. Your daughter’s mouth was watering about wearing one of these gowns, so I asked her help by being a Bridesmaid this Saturday. I was glad it would be you and not her brother I needed to get permission from.”

Mom said, “Wearing the gown and being there would be no problem, but being able to afford it or to fill it out like you and your girlfriends that would be problematic.”

“She already carries herself as a beautiful young woman and loves beautiful gowns. Who was the one with the exquisite taste in selecting that gown,” Patricia inquired? She looked to me to confirm my mother saying I did.

“The bridesmaids and others helping are to be together Friday and then have salon appointments Saturday morning. Would she be able to do either or both of them? The salon appointment would be most essential.”

“You will need to ask Melanie; I would be willing to approve her missing school Friday if she would so desire.”

I said, “The only thing I can’t miss Friday is an exam my first period. I would be done by 9:30 Friday.”

Martha spoke up and insisted that Patricia allow her due time to refit pinning my gown. She suggested that Mrs. Cummings and my Mom if they wanted, could help Patricia putting on her wedding gown for maximizing time before others came.

I was excited because Patricia would change out of her clothes using a changing room and possibly the corset, but she would need to use the fitting area to try on her gown. I was excited to see how beautiful she was.

I had not anticipated or knew of a large changing area behind the fitting area I was using. The good news was because I just volunteered to be in her bridal party I would still get to see Patti putting on her beautiful bridal gown.

Ironically, even months ago, this would have been a very different treat for a young teen boy with a warped mind and healthy testosterone levels, depending on how one looked at it. Tonight, it’s Melanie just wanting to be immersed in a girl’s world.

Martha did a good job of bringing my focus back to my gown. It really is beautiful and it sent goosebumps over me. The gown looked to be so delicate and precious; it’s very detailed and with shades of color, satin and lace setting off this and that aspect of the gown. When a leg or hip moved, the movement was like the changing flow of water cascading over me.

Patricia had stopped with her changing as I stepped off my circular platform. The seamstress wanted to make sure the dress moved properly and did not catch or cause me any problems. “I am so glad I asked you Melanie; you are such a beautiful young woman. It will be a treat to have you in my wedding party.”

I turned to Mom, “I think Patti was one of Richard’s prettiest girlfriends inside and out Mom. It is nice to see her again.”

Patti said, “You don’t really remember me, but I appreciate that.”

I had remembered and told her, “You’re the one when I came in terribly cold. Despite your being in a pretty gown you helped warm my hands. I cried as they hurt and you hugged me.” Patti knew I remembered her, touching her lips she brought her fingers to my lips.

Mom spoke changing things, “I’m just not sure what your brother will think about you doing this with her. He already has trouble adjusting to you being a girl.”

“It’s none of his business about Patricia’s wedding; he shouldn’t even be told of it until after her wedding and the whole weekend is done! There is no way I would accept detracting from her wedding. The fact that his nose is bent out of shape about me, says his nose is up his own ass!”

“Young lady that is enough of that,” Mom sternly replied! “Any more and you’re grounded!”

“Then you should quit babying his macho ego. He doesn’t have to agree with what I’m doing, but he should at least respect me. How does he know some person who covered his butt or helped him along the way, weren’t contrary to his standards? Not once has he come to my room or wherever I went. He doesn’t care to know about my feelings after he hurt them!”

“Let’s change the subject. Can you stay around as my gown is adjusted and checked for the fit? If you need to go, I can call someone to get a ride or ask someone in Patti’s group?”

“I’ll call home and ask them to take care of things without us,” Mom announced. “I also need to call Marti and tell her you will be late there. How are your aunt and the girls doing?”

“Mom, I miss our family, but it is so neat being there with Aunt Marti. It submerges me in so many aspects of being a female. I get to play with dolls that I missed growing up. I am kind of reliving a second childhood through Suzi and Sherry; I get to be a babysitter and Aunt Marti’s helping me to grow with some sense of responsibility. I know if it were between you and me, I would have fought you a lot more. I know that would not have been fair. And I’ve been a problem for her at times.”

Mom and I go around the curtain after I have changed into a robe. They are pulling the strings on Patricia’s corset. ‘I wondered why she would put herself through this for her wedding.’ Like Mrs. Cummings was reading our minds, she said, “Patricia decided to indulge herself and her bridal party agreed to do the same. I hope Melanie doesn’t regret saying yes. It is a godsend that she has agreed to help. That my daughter knows Melanie and you is like whipping cream and the cherry on the sundae. Patricia has looked forward to this since I agreed two years ago.”

Martha taps me and asked, “Would it be okay if I helped size you, for your undergarments and we begin to have you try everything?” Just holding the panty I could feel it was special. She had me use a panty shield to protect it as I tried it on. The corset was next. I did not know about the boning structure. It held, squeezed me together yet allowed a degree of movement. It trimmed at least four inches off of Patti’s figure and I suspect six off of mine.

I do not know where the breast forms came from or if they’re the ones I would wear on the wedding day. Only a small amount of adhesive was used but the bubbling of my breasts over the corset and gown was not lost on me. The other three bridesmaids and the Maid of Honor were now here. They weren’t sure who I was but were pleasantly receptive of me. Jaclyn, the Maid of Honor asked Brittany to watch over me and help me through the weekend.

When the red satin gown slid over me and my arms through the puffy satin sleeves, I felt like I was dressing for a southern ball or the cover of a romance novel. Brittany stepped forward, “You will need to be careful in that gown as you look no younger than 22 and some guy at the reception will be sorely tempted to whisk you away.”

Martha had me wearing four-inch heels, saying “Anything less would require altering the gown. I am hoping it will be easier for you to make the adjustment.” She showed me how to lift the gown with one or two hands. There’s a bow designed into the gown to be used as a handle for when I dance. It is an hour and a half later than expected when Mom and I leave the Bridal Emporium.

“Young lady, you are like a magnet for unique experiences. I hope it is not too much to expect from you. I am glad, you were willing to help Patricia. As you said, she is beautiful and a very special young woman inside and out.”

Mom and I got a bite to eat, we were both hungry and wanted the opportunity to talk with each other. Mom came in when she dropped me off at Aunt Marti. Aunt Marti and the girls saw a picture of the bridesmaid's dress and thought I was beautiful in the red gown. Suzi tried to look for my larger boobs under my blouse. I quickly knew what she was looking for.

I put my prom gown away after quickly modeling it for everyone. Aunt Marti allowed me to put it in her walk-in closet.

I helped get the girls off to bed which included reading a short story and their prayers. Sherry made an interesting comment as I gave her a goodnight kiss, “U’nt Melwannie, you very pwetty girl, di’it hurt? Your cheeks r soft and look more cheewful. Mommie says yur breasts g’ow like hers.” Mommie said yu din’t pwan to be a w’eal girl. I ask Mommie if it hurt. She not say.”

“Your Mommy probably thought I was the one you should ask, and I am very glad you did. You are a very perceptive little girl.” I looked at her and made sure I was smiling. Your Mommy is correct; I intended just to act like a girl. The thing that changed was, I like being a girl. I was not sure when but I stopped pretending and just knew Melanie is weally, really me.”

“I don’t remember my Uncle Melw much, but I love that you are my Aunt Melwannie.” Sherry gave me a kiss and asked me to lie with her until she fell asleep. I was gently awakened later by Marti and told I needed to take care of myself and then get to my own bed.

She did me a favor in not letting me sleep with my make-up on. But I am also pretty sure Aunt Marti wanted me to come to visit in her room.

When she’s missing Ron; it seems sometimes, when she needs to nurse Megan and get Megan to bed the last time it becomes very emotional for her. She said, “You probably do not understand but all the emotions and mood swings. It reminds me of me when I was about your age. Your Mom had it more difficult when your brother and sister were born. She had stopped sharing with me because I didn’t understand and I think it was worse on her than it was on me. You’re like a gift from heaven; I’m sure you might not think that.”

I only understood part of what she said, but I think the larger point was she shared with me and felt better for it. But it reminds me how little I shared before. Even worse, I had been a crummy listener. These times have become special to me, but I’m not sure why.

Thursday night I studied hard for my exam in the morning, but it was being with Patrica the following day that occupied my mind thinking and caused me to be unwilling to sleep. I told Sandy and Trudy about the gown and wearing a corset. It made the passing of the time fun.

I thought the exam was easy; I was very excited when it was over. Patricia had a limousine pick me up from school then; so much for the excuse that I had a doctor’s appointment.

Patricia had scheduled a spa treatment for the bride’s party. The saving grace was as an eighteen-year-old I didn’t need parents’ permission to take part. While eighteen is not the drinking age in our state, I was given a half glass of champagne before the massage. Eileen whispered before she began, “If it is okay, I am going to treat you as the young woman you appear to be.”

My Mom had given me a number of ten dollar bills, telling me tipping and expressing my appreciation would be my responsibility above whatever Patricia did. Eileen told me a tip was not needed as Patricia’s folks had paid for my massage. It was with Patti’s blessing that I gave Eileen the additional tip. She deserved it. Before my body relaxed it first became overly excited and Eileen took care of me.

The members of Patricia’s bridal party were all twenty-something and very beautiful women who would fill out their gowns without the need of help. They were not all beauties by some male standards. It became no problem for me to see their beauty and importance to Patricia. Two of the women knew Richard, with one knowing Sara. She knew that Richard only had an additional younger brother. It became commonly known who I am. Some knew of me through the news in the fall.

We all were dressed in sun-dresses to attend rehearsal; Patricia told me my sundress was mine to keep. When my eyes teared, she said, “That is all the appreciation I need…”
To be continued …

We all were dressing in spring sun-dresses to go to rehearsal, when Patricia and her Mom approached me with a box. Patricia said, “Melanie, I would like to see how these breasts forms look and feel for you. It they are good I would like you to begin wearing them now so you will be use to them by the Wedding.

I hoped it would be Patricia’s Mom helping me; instead Patricia asked me to lay back as she used a round form to center where the breast forms are placed on me. She smiled as she saw that my own breasts were puffy and responsive. “Does this mean Melanie is definitely here to stay?”

I ask “Do you think I’m crazy liking being a girl?”

“Not really, I can understand a boy getting caught up in being a girl or at least liking girl’s stuff. But you seem to be beyond that and understand more of what it means to be a woman.”

I smiled, “Thank you, yes, I surely hope I do.”

After Patricia and I made sure my new breasts and where they met my skin no seams were showing; it was time to get dressed. Patricia said the sundress was mine to keep. When I teared she said, “That is all the appreciation I need… You know Melanie, from here on you and I are friends forever. You are sharing my big day. I appreciate you opened your world to me.” She gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

Rehearsal went well for the Maid of Honor asked me to remember well what I was doing in the wedding. “You can’t depend upon the groomsmen to remember and be of help; even though it is simple. Being in heels, you need to be the one in control.”

We finished rehearsal and went to the rehearsal dinner. Patricia’s family was extra warm in accepting me. Grandma Stivers took me by the hand, “I am very impressed by you; when I heard Richard’s your brother, I was not sure Patricia made a wise decision. I am glad to be wrong.” She gave me a warm hug and asked if I had a handkerchief; she gave me one to keep saying it was an extra one.

“Thank you, and though Richard’s not my #1 sibling, he’s still my brother. I prefer to keep him out of my thoughts this weekend. That even means not so good comments.” Grandma understood and was all right with my request.

After the families left, Patricia took her wedding party to a side room reserved for her. We each were given one drink to last the remaining time that night. Each of us women in her bridal party received a pretty necklace, earrings and bracelet. I thought it was prety costume jewelry, but Adrian, Pat’s Maid of Honor, informed me Mr. and Mrs. Cummings were well enough off that the jewelry and travel of the bridal party were being paid for my them. She smiled, “They are fortunate that Patricia likes silver more than gold.”

Patti came and asked me, “Melanie, tomorrow starts bright and early for me and I told Adrian, I would ask if you could stay with me tonight and be a help to her and me tomorrow. Most of all I want you to stay immersed in being part of my bridal party with me.” I needed to borrow a night gown and something to wear to the salon, but I agreed.

I had not imagined it meant sleeping on the floor in Patti’s room. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor was no problem. Sharing the room and her bathroom with Patti was a treat instead of a problem either. I just had not expected it. Patti was too excited to sleep much so we talked until 2:00 a.m. finally she began to fall asleep as we talked. I would tell you how beautiful she was but you might take it wrong.

Patti and I checked and double checked her clothes and things for her wedding night as well as her luggage for her honeymoon. She will be in Jamaica three days on her abbreviated honeymoon. A longer time away was already scheduled for after her college graduation.

As we were going to our appointments at the salon, I told Patricia, “I am glad you asked me to be part of the wedding. I just don’t understand why you would?

Patricia turned to me, “Besides willing to help me, being the right size and attractive. I thought if you were wondering about being a woman, this would be a great experience. I knew your Mom and sister and I was betting on you being like them. Now I hope your Mom and sister are like you.” Patricia took a tissue and dabbed a tear from the corner of my eye.

Terri was my beautician and stylist for the morning. After shampooing my hair, conditioning and giving it all a good rinse, she commenced to load my hair with extensions. I received a message from Trudy and told her where I was. I suggested, she stop and see me.

After what seemed to be quite a while, Terri was working my hair cutting, shaping and setting it into curlers. My feet are put into the goop for a pedicure while I am under the dryer. I complained about my ugly feet but I’m told only 85% of women do not like their feet. Adrian said many of the other 15% are lying.

I think that pedicures are to die for, along with most other things about being a woman. I think knowing bad my feet as a boy are helps me to appreciate being a girl more. Trudy showed up and after I introduced her to Patricia; Patricia introduced her as my girlfriend to the wedding party. So much for wondering what others might say. The women in Patricia’s joke with Trudy about the girly boy she likes.

Patricia was amused to hear Trudy respond to her question, “I hope you don’t mind, but how did a lesbian from another school come to date a boy dressing as a girl?”

Trudy giggles, “I hadn’t considered I was a lesbian until after I got Mel into wearing girl’s clothes for Halloween. I hadn’t even told Melanie, but it was at one of our Halloween parties that I realized I was falling in love with her. I had to act upset when she was disciplined and had to continuing to dress and live as Melanie. Initially I was more uncomfortable with me being a lesbian than Mel being Melanie.”

“She just impresses me, the more Mel lived as Melanie I knew she was a girl and that I loved her.”

You could see something dawn upon Patricia; “You know, you’re invited to the wedding and reception, don’t you Trudy?” The surprise registered on Trudy’s face, caused Patricia to apologize. “I am sorry; it dawned on me that I forgot to tell Melanie to invite you.”

Trudy quickly said, “Thank you, I am actually dying to see her in this beautiful gown she has been talking about. Seeing that Melanie had to mature to fill it out peaks my interest all the more.”

The beautician was brushing out my hair as she took out the curlers. “Wow, Melanie, you look even more beautiful with longer hair. I hope you can take care of your hair so the extensions stay until the prom or you will need to do this again.”

Trudy got me a sweet tea that we shared before my makeup was begun.

It was 1:00 p.m. and the wedding is at 6:00 p.m. I thought we had plenty of time. But Patricia wanted pictures up at Washington Rock, in front of her home as well as the pictures at the church. It would end up being good practice for me in touching up my makeup and hair as well as keeping my composure and moving around properly.

All of us in the bride’s party finished before Patti and we enjoyed watching the finishing touch put on Patricia. I loved the feel of the petticoats and the gown as I put it on. The satin red gowns were luxurious, though all that was pale in comparison to Patricia and her bridal gown.

I was upset with myself; as I’m wanting to be a bride. I could not help but dream about wearing a beautiful bridal gown. Trudy said you know we could go some place and just try a bridal gown.

It was cool at Washington Rock, but the air was clear and it made for some beautiful pictures. It is interesting to lift the gown, walk in high heels over cobble stones and uneven ground; all the time not daring to fall less one wrecks the gown.

Once we’re at Patti’s we were given parasols and satin purses drawn closed as a woman’s bag from the 1800s. None of this was lost on me as I appreciated everything. I didn’t appreciate the photographer’s strong lights which heated me up in my gown. We weren’t always wanted for pictures, but we had to stay close as we were used to fetch this relative and that groomsman as well as spreading out Patti’s beautiful gown and train.

I was asked to amuse the young children of Patti’s aunts and uncles. I painted the nails of two young girls and put on a light touch of lipstick. Young eight year old Jonathan, asked the same and began to cry when I told him I couldn’t. Grandma Stivers asked the boy not to cry later if I did it and he was teased. She gave me permission to put polish on Jonathan’s fingernails. His mother came to get him by the time his nails were dry. “Jonathan did you get your way again. I’m sorry I hope you don’t think this is bad of us to allow it.”

“He’s precious, I am just glad Grandma gave me permission to help him. He looks quite sharp like that,” I told her.

“Yes, I agree,” she responded. With his mother’s permission I put a lip-gloss on him that matched his regular lip color. It sparkled and glistened.

Finally the bridal party was ready to proceed into the sanctuary for the wedding. Being the youngest and last of the bridesmaids I was the first to walk down the aisle. Steve, a groomsmen and my escort met me half way down the aisle and swept me off my feet as he carried me the remaining distance to the front of the church. Either Steven did this as a prank on own, or Jaci’s stare put the wrath of God into the remaining groomsmen as none of them repeated that. Trudy said later a picture of me being swept off my feet was destined to be in the Bridal book, a forever picture.

Steve at 6’ 3” thought he was god’s gift to women; and I admit he was cute and apart from that prank, very nice. I was surprised that it was Jaci and not me who got wobbly during the ceremony. Fortunately I saw her and stepped to her side and told her to step forward and to step back after she got her composure. Jaci thanked me after the ceremony and confessed she had not liked me earlier, having thought I was just pretending. She said, “Would you mind if I gave you a kiss?”

“I’m sorry but my girlfriend is here, I’d rather not. If you want to dance together later that would be fine. I expect I will dance with some others, maybe we can dance then,” I said. I felt for Trudy as I rode around with the wedding party before the wedding and again before the reception. I continued to enjoy wearing the gown, feeling so beautiful.

While I enjoyed being part of the wedding party, it did not mean much until I had time with Trudy. It was kind of nice to dance with Steve and to know I excited him. I felt myself get excited and it caused me to wonder. Mom had told me that I would likely experience different feelings as I continued as Melanie. I am glad she did as sometimes I felt like I was going crazy. Because of Mom and Aunt Marti, I knew, I needed to give myself time and space to grown and know who I am.

Things became electric when Trudy and I were together and I had no more obligations. Trudy spoke explicitly about what she would like to do to me in my gown. She was very amused as she felt my body heat up. It was midnight when I slipped out of the gown. Shortly after 1:00 a.m., Trudy gave me a ride home.

One might expect that the Prom and my prom gown might be anti-climatic after that. On the contrary, it became all the more special. It was three weeks later and while my breasts had grown only a little in size they had matured becoming more sensitive. Dr. Kylie credited my mindset and the growing reality that I was more Melanie and female than anyone expected.

Suzi and Sherry are both a half year older than when I first became their Aunt and my love for them has become immensely greater. Aunt Marti says, “It is so precious how they look up to you as a role model. You have a way with my daughters and most children, I am so pleased for you.”

Suzi saw pictures of me from Patti’s wedding, which her Dad’s brother also saw. “I think you are very beautiful Unt Melwanie. Yous not sissy wike Uncle Bilwie says.”

I give her a hug, “Suzi, do you and Sherry love me?” She shook her head and gave me a hug. “That is what is important to me.”

She said, “I told Uncle Bilwie that he’s not strong enough or nice enuf to be girl.” Tears came to my eye as I became speechless.

Aunt Marti hugged me from behind, “Billy was upset that his brother Ron is so accepting of you. He has since called me to apologize. He says, the girls and others got him to thinking. It will take time to know if he’s sincere.”

After the girls went to bed, Aunt Marti and I visited. She talked to me about staying out with Trudy the weekend of my prom. “I need to ask she said; ‘If you are going to make out with you as a guy. Trudy and you would need protection.”

“Besides Trudy wanting me as Melanie; I don’t think I could without Dr. Kylie giving me something to help me.”

With the girls asleep Marti had me shower and try on my prom dress one more time.

“Do you see what I see Melanie,” Marti asked? I looked and I knew something was different. Hard as I tried I did not figure it out until Marti told me. “Your hips are filling out; your waist is so girl. I think you would be as beautiful, maybe even more so without the breast enhancements.” Finally Aunt Marti asked, “Speak in your regular voice.”

I asked, “What do you want me to say?”

Aunt Marti hugged me, “Do you agree with me that you are now Melanie. There isn’t even a hint of the boy you use to be.”

I did not realize until morning that I was to see Dr. Kylie for my next appointment. I went to the appointment tired and a bit defensive that I would have to prove who I am once again.

Dr. Kylie caught me by surprise. “I think,” Dr. Kylie said, “I would like you to finish one or two years of college growing as a transgendered girl.” Mom had not been in with me during my exam but was there as Dr. Kylie and I talked. “Mrs. Greene and Melanie, you both need to understand there is a lot more growing to do. Most of it will be mentally and emotionally, though your maturing body will continue to develop and change as well. While it is still possible that you will change your mind and want to go back to being Melvin. I don’t think it is not at all likely.”

“You should understand, you will not likely come across even another TG girl quite like you. I am told others might seek you out. You can be encouraging and supportive, but I warn you against being the reason anyone else would want to change.”

I had been received as a student both by Pittsburgh University as well as Barnard College in New York City. Both had asked if I was going to attend as Melanie a transgendered girl or be accepted as a woman. Barnard college officials said the scholarships and their amount we different.

Barnard was pleased for my decision to come as a transgendered woman. One five thousand dollar grant per year however was dependent on my being a B or better student. I did not yet have confidence as an academic student and I worried that I might lose it.

To conclude with one more Chapter…

Mr. and Mrs. Brandt had gone the second mile to make Trudy’s senior prom a special memory. Trudy had a limousine that she shared with Denise. With Travis and all of us being friends, it promised to be a super night. It was 5:30 p.m. when Trudy stopped to pick me up for their promenade. Mom was the one to humorously give Trudy a hard time about how she treated Mommy’s little girl. I had gone back to Carol’s salon that morning. Tonight was the first time with my hair done up in this style and wearing my gown. There I was at the top of the stairs, in awe of how beautiful Trudy looked, yet feeling like a princess in my own right.

Each gown and girl were so beautiful and as agreed months earlier the gowns worked exquisitely together. When we posed for pictures, I could not help but feel Trudy’s right hand slide down my back and come to rest cupped around the cheek right of my bottom. We both used a quality lipstick that rarely left a trace on the other; even so we limited our kisses.

Travis and Denise had a wonderful time, once they got away from the attention we were getting. Trudy’s beautiful and her being with another girl turned many eyes. My notoriety followed me and interfered with it being a normal prom experience. I feared being with me had cost Trudy from being chosen as the prom queen. I had a great time, dancing with Trudy and meeting more of her friends, and becoming friends.

I wasn’t sure what to do when two girls as well as a guy asked me to dance with me. Trudy smiled and said, “It actually feels neat that they identify with us.” I danced with one of the girls and Trudy danced with the other. The guy I danced with, was a loner who came despite being dumped by his date. I kind of identified with him and enjoyed a dance him.

We went to the After-Prom Party which gave more prizes the longer one was there but we left early. The limo took us around town and to the after. Trudy took me to her home saying, “My parents would rather have us together here.” I received a collection of makeup and coupons for more. Trudy receive a 20” TV and a bracelet and necklace set.

It was nice to be able to help each other out of our gowns as Trudy knew how to hang them up properly.

I had asked Sharon to instruct me on how to better show my affection to Trudy. While she had clued me in on a few things, she mostly told me, “Listen and pay attention to the signs Trudy will give you. Sharon explained areas that women were generally sensitive, some evoking more arousal than others. “Women are different enough you need to remember you are making love to her. Trudy will want you to be sensitive each time you become affectionate. She probably will like something different from the time before. She is just as likely to love you in a different way.”

“It is not about loving her by the book but truly loving her.” I wasn’t thinking of Sharon’s words, when I was making love to Trudy and responding to her body. I listened to the sounds indicated as pleasing to her at the moment. Once Trudy pushed my face where she wanted me and held me there.

Trudy and I had not fallen to sleep by the time we got out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and we showered together. Trudy had agreed for us to meet several other friends and their dates for breakfast. Denise and Travis were there, as well as Cathy, Mariah and Lea and their dates.

I was going to the women’s room, when a college guy blocked my way and rudely said, “If you really want to be a woman, and you do look as beautiful as anyone; you should allow a man make you happy.”

“You are lucky I don’t slap you across the face. Even if I wanted a man you wouldn’t come close to being it!”

He responded, “Go ahead and slap me, I dare you.” I knew he was waiting to catch my hand if I tried. But when he stared at my right hand I just smiled and slapped him with my left hand and said, “Now would you please move.” He moved away, while others were quietly watching to stop it, if things escalated.

I was in front of the mirror shaking when Trudy and Denise came into check on me. Trudy stayed as I still needed to use the loo but felt shaken. It was nice to have her check my makeup and hair; more importantly to be with me as I went back to our table.

I owed my niece’s an appearance after breakfast; as I promised I would stop by if I could.

Aunt Marti had a surprise when I did. The girls were ready for church or a Sunday out. Trudy and I doted on the girls and shared a little about the prom with Marti. Aunt Marti encouraged, “Stay and relax, we will be gone until the middle of the afternoon. If the phone rings let it ring.”

I looked to Trudy wondering if I should make sure of what I was hearing. Trudy smiled and just indicated me to be quiet and relax.

This time was a more quiet time of relaxing and giving each other quiet pleasures. I fell asleep first around 10:00 a.m. and we both woke around 2:00 in the afternoon. When I got dressed it was into a casual dress. I would have been more relaxed if Trudy was not so stunningly beautiful.

The coming week was actually more difficult as I had to wait before I took Trudy to my prom. A disturbing piece of news was Trudy’s apartment at Columbia University had fallen through. Trudy calmly said, “There’s plenty of time; we haven’t even graduated yet from high school.” But I knew she was worried.

With weeks of school left, I was assured of the best academic year of high school. Mom told me, “I think this is confirmation that Melanie was supposed to be. You have a peace as Melanie that Melvin hadn’t found” My doctors tended to agree.

Mom had me to the Bridal Emporium saying my gown needed to be adjusted. The seamstress smiled as she saw the changes to be made: adjusting the halter caused me to wear the gown braless. It is a stunning change and I am so excited to be able to look like a mature woman for Trudy. Mom encouraged me not to tell Trudy. Mom knew I was taking Trudy to a place down near the ocean shore afterwards. When she sat me down for a talk it was mother/daughter talk with just a little caution about her son.

“This is awkward, but I thought you should hear it from me and not your sister. If you are intimate with Trudy, I want to suggest you not wear your breast forms at that time. Make sure you have the solution to take them off after the prom and clean your breasts thoroughly to have an enjoyable time.”

“Mom, this is awkward I bet you didn’t talk like this to Richard or Sara?”

Mom just said, “Enough said. I do want you to know I love you and want you to have a beautiful time. Sara will go with you to your salon appointment. You have an extra three hundred dollars in your account for your debit card. If you want more ask your father; he will be happy to go an extra mile for his youngest daughter.”

The truth was there was a pair of silver heels that I wanted. Not only would they go well with my prom gown but several other outfits I have or want to get.

My appointment at Carol’s Salon went well. I talked with Sara as well as Carol. Along with the extensions, I added some highlights. Sara continued to be amazed, saying my sense of fashion of hair and makeup came too easy for someone who had been a boy.

We both knew there was a girl in me long ago. While not totally shocked that I enjoyed dressing in girl’s clothes, neither of us expected in our wildest dreams that I was a girl. Sandy was a half hour behind me at the salon, but we would finish about the same time. We talked about the coming time at the ocean.

Sara had left and Sandy and I continued to enjoy our opportunity to visit there. Sandy surprised me asking, “Would you mind coming back and being in my wedding in late September? I would like you to be one of my bridesmaids.”

“Does this mean I am a girlfriend for life,” I asked?

Sandy answered “Unless you decide to become Melvin again.” Later Sandy said, “I would like to begin calling you Mel, if you don’t mind, short for Melanie, but I’ll do as you want.” We talked and agreed to only use it among friends before graduation.

Ken, Sandy’s fiancé, would be driving us tonight to the shore after the prom. I was picking Trudy up in my Dad’s Chrysler 300. If I had still been Melvin I would have had to wash and waxed it yesterday. Today it was cleaned and detailed at a special shop. I had not seen it shine like this since Dad first bought it. Dad offered to drive us for the promenade, around and to the prom. “Dad, I am neither a diva nor a defenseless little girl. I would take the car to the ocean if we didn’t have a ride already.”

Dad said, “In your dreams.” I battered my eyelashes at him saying, “I am sure if it were needed, you would let me use your car. I thank you and Mom for being so supportive.” Dad lightly laughed, saying, “That’s probably true.”

Mom and Sara helped me get into my gown and finish my makeup and check my hair one last time. I had to go to Sara’s room to use her full length mirror. I was stunned to see the transformation. I was dramatically that much more stunningly beautiful since just last week.

My drive to Trudy’s was uneventful; Dad had let me drive the Chrysler as I had grown confident driving with heels. The Brandts welcomed me and now it was my turn to be questioned by Mrs. Brandt. She sat me down and told how she wanted me to treat her daughter. She was very emotional, more than I had ever seen her talking about her daughter. Something had set in how precious her daughter really was. I knew she and her husband were proud of Trudy, but today their love was much more evident. I was not sure if something had happened or what. Whatever it was, it was welcomed by all three.

I was happily excited as Trudy stepped into the living area. Like me she had taken extra effort to be even more stunningly beautiful this week.

It was my turn to pin on her corsage. It was no small feat as the gown’s strap was narrow. It was now her parents’ turn to take a ton of pictures. Mrs. Brandt even was sending them on to my folks.

I drove us around and Trudy said, “We have to go to the store to show off Jack and Jill; she told me she had promised. Hannah’s husband the major owner of the store and the chain of stores; he wanted us to carry a bucket around the store. I said, “No” and luckily Hannah hurried to agree as she took the pail. We were given three long stem roses each. Hannah’s husband was unusually warm, saying, “I am especially appreciative how well you two carried yourselves. You’ve helped to change my perspective on life.” Hannah motioned agreement with nodding her head.

We were to the promenade a few moments later. The Principal came over to us and threatened, “I am going to introduce you as Melvin. I hope don’t mind but it’s too bad if you do because I’m free to do as I wish.”

Then Trudy and I stepped out of line before our introductions, my Dad and Ms. Braun were soon there asking what was a problem. “Dad, Ms. Braun have you seen Nancy Parsons or another of the Board members. Mr. Lawrence is threatening to taunt me as Melvin if we go through the Promenade.”

Dad quickly said, “I don’t think so unless he wants trouble with me.”

Ms. Braun had quickly text Mrs. Parsons and she was soon with us. She confronted Principal Lawrence, “Let me see your introduction sheet for this young lady and her date.” He was arrogant enough to have it in black and white. “Mr. Lawrence, I will keep this and share it with the Board at our next meeting. I am glad you have held up signing your contract to get a raise.” Mrs. Parsons took over the introduction of couples as we were back in line.

Trudy gave me a hug and a light kiss on my ear, “I am so proud of you for standing your ground; I would have been embarrassed for you.” It was nice as we were the third couple Nancy Parsons introduced. One could tell some people went quiet and a few murmured, possibly negative things. But the cheers that were started by Sandy, Sharon and Deb brought even more applause for Trudy and me.

I wouldn’t have heard it before as a guy, but it delighted me now to hear compliments on how beautiful we looked, about our gowns and how they complimented each other so fantastically well. The nicest compliment I heard went something like: “If there were any questions about him being boy or girl it’s mute now. Melanie is a beautiful young woman.” I looked up to the woman I thought said it with a light smile. It was Ms. Brownlee and she smiled at me saying, “My daughter says you are a beautiful person as well. I hope you enjoy your evening.”

Once through the promenade, we talked with others about driving around before heading to the Prom yet an hour before it began and only a fifteen minute drive to where it was being held.

Nana, one of my grandmothers, lived but a few minutes from the ballroom of the large Hinton Hotel. Nana would probably still be with my folks; maybe even spending the night there. But I knew it would be okay to stop there. It gave us a chance to relax, maybe a little more romantic and we were able to redo our makeup and check our hair. It felt wonderful to hold Trude and allow my hands to run down her gown.

Trude loved the feel of my holding as we swayed together like music was playing and we were dancing. I bit my lower lip, not wanting to get too excited. I knew my feelings were warm like Melanie’s should be. It was good to hear my grandmother’s car. Trudy went into the bathroom to fix her makeup and I regained my composure.

Nan had recognized the car so she was not surprised to see Trudy and me. I was pleased as Nan spoke to Trudy, “You are very beautiful tonight Trudy. There is no trouble in seeing why Melanie cares so much about you. She is fortunate to have someone like you who loves her.”

“Thanks Nan, I think she’s fantastically beautiful through and through” …Nan broke in “And she has a beautiful girlfriend as well, though I know I am prejudice. You have blossomed so much since you were first Jill.”

“Did either of you have any idea that a young woman would blossom from that Halloween trick?”

“Only in retrospect Nana,” said Trudy. “We were always special to each other. When I dated Melvin there was something I liked but it wasn’t the same. When I related to Jill, I found the thing that was missing. She was no longer like another good friend. Finally, we kissed and I felt her body against mine. I looked into Melanie’s eyes and I could see she was there. I never saw me as loving another woman. I guess I didn’t want to admit I could be a lesbian, but I am and I’m getting more comfortable with being me.”

I was surprised Trudy dared to say that to my grandmother.

Nana’s confession shook me even more, “I understand what you’re saying; I could have loved and married my best girlfriend. She married someone else, though we have always kept in touch since I moved away. Ezekiel, God bless him, came to know I always loved her. …Melanie, I ask that this remain between us three.”

“Thanks Nan, would it be alright if I, we came back some time to talk more?”

She said, “That’s why I said it; you need to know you two are the only ones, I’ve shared this with. It will be helpful for me to talk about it. Please don’t speculate about my love; I’m not sure she’d want anyone to know.”

“I’d of guess it was Sue Ellen. She’s the dearest of your friends as far as I know.” Nan wouldn’t say anything, but her expression indicated it probably was her.

Trudy and I felt even more excited as we drove to the Prom. I had text and Sharon was there and Sandy and Ken were on their way. Deb and Chuck had gone in as had Travis and Denise. Trudy giggled, “Just think if your Nana and her love became a item you wouldn’t be here.”

“Does that mean you want each of us to marry a guy so we can have children,” I asked thinking I caught her.

Trudy spoke right up, “I thought you said Dr. Karen had harvested some of your sperm just in case you became infertile but still wanted your own children?” It dawned on me how seriously Trudy had been thinking of our relationship. I reached and squeezed her hand. This time when we parked, it was I getting out and going around opening the door for Trudy. We had agreed to all this last week.

I was so proud to have the most beautiful girl on my arm. When we were introduced at the Prom, I saw a jerk coming running toward us. He wasn’t a friend and he had a cup of something in his hand. I hurried and threw my three roses at him as he began to throw whatever was in his cup at us. Luckily the roses hit the cup and liquid and no more than a few drops of cola reached me. Someone quickly handed me a cloth and I dried my face and front.

It was Nate, supposedly an old friend. I knew he was rigid in his thinking but rarely did he act out his anger. I never expected this from him, especially against me. We were asked, “Do you want him thrown out of the Prom?”

“If he can promise in God’s name not to bother Trudy, me or anyone else that will be okay with me. But if he can’t or the rules would mandate him leaving so be it.” Trudy agreed but added, “It shouldn’t be our responsibility to watch and stay away from him. That should be his responsibility. We’re sorry if that ruins it for Sally his date, but that is his doing, not ours.”

A half hour after the King and Queen of the Prom were selected the Queen brought the prom to a halt with an announcement she’d make. Queen Ashley with a big smile proclaimed, “Though there was no official balloting and there could have been other candidates; King Richard and I would ask for confirmation to select Melanie Greene and Edward Langer as Duchess and Duke in a spirit of inclusivity.” I recognized Sandy’s voice as one of the first to say “Aye!” Instead of a crown, I had to curtsy before the Queen Ashley as she put a pendant around my neck. Ed was given a double strand gold chain necklace. Ed and I began the next dance.

It was a wonderful evening. I had not gone to the prom as a junior. My date last year had decided not to go, so neither did me. It wasn’t until this spring; I learned Rachel had gone with a boy from another school.

I had to go to the women’s to pee, and I had left Trudy at our table. When I got to the women’s room I became very self-conscious about what others might say. I looked neither Sandy, Deb nor Sharon were around. A friend Linda noticed, “So girl, do I need to take you by the hand or are you going to wait until your eyes turn yellow?”

We both giggle as I offered her my hand. “Thanks Linda, after earlier I’m still worried about someone taking offense with what I do.”

“You don’t need something different to find people judging you, however I understand. I would like however if I could double date with you sometime before you go to college.”

“I would like that and I guess our friendship has changed since last year. We could go shopping sometime; I’m more into that now.”

Linda watched me when I fixed my makeup. “I’m impressed how good you are in doing makeup and hair. If I didn’t know better I’d swear you grew up a girl.”

While we talked Trudy called me on her phone, “Did you fall in or mess yourself?”

“No, I am chatting in here like a regular girl, what’s it to you?”

Linda got her date Brett and the four of us visited awhile. It was a great night for being affirmed that Trudy and I were normal human beings. Not that everyone was kind like that but…”

We had to go to my home so I could drop off Dad’s car and get our overnight bags. When Ken and Sandy showed up, Dad offered his car again. Kenny’s face lit up, “Your Chrysler 300 Mr. G are you sure?” Dad threw Ken the keys, “It might be better if Melanie drives it until you’re out of site, but yes enjoy yourselves.” Dad actually knew Ken more and longer then he knew Sandy or Trudy; he felt safe that we were riding with them.

We were half way to the shore when Trudy and I undid the back of the other’s gown and got very friendly. I looked up and could see Ken smiling in the rearview mirror. “Don’t mind us back here?”

Ken snickered, “It’s just a shame I have to drive. It is not the first time I had friends making out in the back seat.”

Sandy whispered back to us, “It is more pleasant hearing you two and not some of his gross friends.”

Trudy switched positions and pulled the top of my gown away from me. She swore, remembering I still had on my breast forms. She helped get my gown back into place and it was now me being the aggressor. It was beautiful to see and feel Trudy’s nipples become aroused. The first time my kissing and sucking Trudy’s nipples I made a noise. It brought a noticeable giggle from Sandy.

Ken alerted us when we were within five minutes of the hotel. Our hotel was on the other side of the street from the beach. Come tomorrow night the beach might be more interesting. Trudy had other ideas. After we checked in and were out of our gowns; Trude encouraged me to put on a short skirt, top and sandals. We walked the boardwalk and until Trudy saw the shore patrol.

“Officer, would it be okay if we walked the beach?” I expected the answer to be a curt ‘No’.

“If you’re a couple the answer is okay, though I need to ask you to respect others who are down there. You’re asked not to go into the ocean as it won’t be patrolled for safety unless there’s a problem. If that happens everyone leaves, do you understand?”

We found a spot fifty feet from the closet couple and along the side of an overturned lifeboat. I soon discovered why Trudy had me wear a skirt. I became aroused and had an orgasm but it was unlike that of a normal boy. I had taken off my breast forms at the hotel. My sensitivity to Trude’s hands and lips experienced a world of difference. It ended up being with the first light on the horizon that we and others still on the beach made our way back our hotels to sleep.

Trude and I showered together and then fell asleep in each others arms. It was after noon with a knock on the door that we finally scooted out of bed.

The ocean is cold in late May; however it was a rare treat to be in the ocean without young children or younger teens being there. I began to complain until Trude shut me up by locking lips with me. “If you say you’re cold with me next to you…” We didn’t stay out long but even with the cold water I became aroused and knew Trude shook because an orgasm gushed over her. Luckily the air temperature was into the low 80s. Once we were dry we quickly became warm.

Trudy and I were walking the boardwalk and Trudy was looking for a place but wouldn’t tell me what. I walked on not noticing when Trudy went her own direction. I back tracked when I did, but didn’t find her and had to wait. Finally a text came, “You passed me twice; I’m in Point Pleasant’s Gem Stone store.”

I walked into the store and wondered if I heard wrong, since Trude was nowhere to be seen. I asked a sales person just before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and had to look down. “Your Dad and Mom said I should only give you a promise ring. I want to know if you’ll marry me.” Trude had a ring box open and extended to me.

“No, that’s not fair; I don’t have a ring for you and I can’t afford one.” It was then I saw Sara step forward. “Mom said you might say something like that. They sent me with their card and this note.”

“Dearest Melanie, if you feel compelled to accept Trudy’s proposal and want to buy a ring for Trudy; up to fifteen hundred dollars on this card is for your ring for Trudy. We love you very much.” I know Mom and Dad think it is too early.

“O Trude, do you forgive me? Yes, I will marry you. Will you be my wife as well?” We were locked in a warm embrace both saying, “Yes, yes, yes,” over and again.

I had not been one to notice engagement rings before Sandy’s, but this one was beautiful. Sara helped me to pick one but my heart was broken as it cost $2,185 before taxes. I asked the jeweler if he could give me fifteen to thirty minutes. Then I called home.

“Dad, please listen to me, I need your help, not a hand out. Sis’s car is a clunker, and my Camaro is up on blocks because of my driving record and the insurance costs are way too high. It doesn’t really pay to have a car in the city anyway. How about if I sell my car to you for Sara? That will allow me to buy the ring I want for Trudy. I thank you for the offer to pay for it, but it needs to be my ring to her.”

“The money already on my bank card can be for college along with the remainder of the $6,500 for the car.”

Dad said, “I’m proud of you Mel, for taking responsibility for your engagement with Trudy.” He gave the phone to Mom, “Congratulations Honey, I am so happy for the two of you. Were you able to find a beautiful ring for Trudy?” Mom was tickled when I was able to describe to her the ring fully.

“Mom and Dad can I tell Sara, she’s getting my car. It’s important to me that Trude and Sara both know the ring is from me?”

I bought the ring I wanted and Trudy was pleasantly surprised as she learned what I did to buy it for her. The rest of the day and into the night we celebrated our engagement as well as prom weekend. After we turned in, the real celebration between Trudy and I started.

Since we would both be marrying as young women neither set of parents were willing to pay for a wedding and all its costs quite yet. Dad said, “If you’re on your own, there is financial help you might lose.”

The Brandts said, “We want the two of you getting a college education before you marry. Both of you should be able to make a living and be on equal footing with the other. The four of us will give you a beautiful wedding the June after your graduation.”

Come late August we moved into a shared apartment with two other women. I nearly fainted from exhaustion after the first exam I had. After that I was in the same study group for three of my classes; E’beth, Versa and I were in each group and usually another woman or two depending on the class we were studying for.

It was similar for Trudy and her studies though two of her groups were with men and women. We struggled with the absence of the other and at times we became jealous of the time the other spent. My continuation on female hormones had helped the development of my body and made my male appendage visible but no longer functional. This too added to mind games in our relationship.

The first semester I managed a 3.2 grade point for five classes, which was great for me. Trudy, with six classes that semester, garnered a 3.75 grade point. Being better in her studies allowed Trudy some social time in the second semester.

I was given Kelley, a grad-assistant, as a big sister since October of the first semester. Kelly treated me and herself to a salon treatment come early February. That helped us to draw closer. Trudy and I treated ourselves to a dinner out for Valentine’s Day, but I reneged on a dance because I had an exam the next day. I pushed Trudy to go out, but felt hurt when she went. Kelley was over to help me to study and leant a shoulder come 11:30 when I began to cry as Trudy was gone. Kelley stroked my hair and I gave her a kiss of thanks that became a little more.

Trudy and I were still very much in love, but we were becoming different. Trudy’s pre-med classes would being in full during the summer and she wanted us to move into Columbia University housing. Barnard has become more important to me, plus I needed three summer classes. One to bring up a grade point for one class and two hopefully a third to get me ahead one in archaeology and the other in eco-systems of vital rivers. The last class I want to take was in environmental chemistry; I would be taking that class with Kelley…

The End of our Beginning