Hattie and I are twins and as such we have been very close. Up to the age of ten many would mistake us for two tomboys. Then changes set in for Hattie and she began liking to be more of a girly girl. At first, she wore culottes and shirt like blouses, and then she’d get jeans that were fancy and pretty. Once she got her first bra it was like all things changed.

Mom limited her makeup, and her necklaces and earrings had to be simple. Mom would say to me, “Terrance, your problem is you've become Hattie’s shadow. People continue to mistake you for Hattie’s sister, with you remaining a tomboy. You would be considered identical twins except you’re sister and brother.”

We had played tee-ball and started learning basketball together. We continue to play and do things together. The best way to tell us apart was my clothes became dirty as we’d climb trees, pull weeds, and play a lot using our imagination. My sister and I both like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies as well as Bad Girls because you could be a boy or a girl and have fun.

When Hattie began to change, I was still a friend of most of her girlfriends and they continued to be comfortable with me tagging along. They knew I had played girl things with Hattie. That she could even get me to dress like her.

I had boys that were close friends. That cooled a bit when Nick and Sam got called Niki and Samantha by some other guys teasing them and me.

Today’s Saturday, we’re at the mall as Mom and some of her friends want to shop. Hattie would be with some of her friends and I’d tag along until they were tired of me. Hopefully, that gave mom time to pick out our birthday gifts and get them hidden back in the car.

Hattie and the rest of them went into this one clothing store. That’s where Ms. Briggs asks, “So have you girls come to be in the fashion show? If you are, you each get to keep one outfit of your choosing.” All five girls perked up to that idea and raised their hand and I did as well.

One of the catches was you needed a parent’s permission. With permission slips in hand, we left the store. Jaime’s mother was with our mother so getting permission wouldn’t be that hard with us. Hattie uses her phone to track mom and we were soon together. Our Mom began to giggle as she read.

Mom says, “You know it's a Teri they want, not Terrance?” I must have given her a look.

I say, “Mom, it’s a clothing store, I’m sure they have guy stuff.”

Mom laughs, “Maurice's is for women and if they have guy’s clothing designed for women, it is not the same. But I signed your permission slip. I think it’s time you found out there’s a growing difference between you and Hattie.” I began to walk away when Mom said to Hattie, “Here I have a package of three panties for you. Terry might need a pair if he tries to be a model.”

Hattie’s face brightens up, “Thanks Mom, I just might be able to talk him into it.” With that, she runs to catch up to Jaime and me.

Hattie asks, “Terry are you willing to give this a try?” We had seen fashion magazines before where a guy has become a fashion model.

Ms. Briggs isn’t too excited at first, but says, “Unless more girls show up to the model, you might be in.” She checks my permission slip and the signatures of my mom matches with Hattie’s. She asks, “Would you two mind, being the Slade sisters for today, Attie and Teri Slade? Miss Jan Coffman will have you as her personal project until the show begins at 1:00 pm." It was now 10:30.

Miss Jan as we’re to call her is happy to see us. Hattie and I are both in makeup chairs, and Jan is working her magic, and our looks become uniquely distinctive. Both our complexions are soft, but Hattie’s gets more color and my eyes get soft blues and a smoky bluish grey, she's even more subtle with the blush. Hattie will usually get the more feminine fashions, and I’ll have the open more suggestive blouses and dresses. Jan says, “We don’t need to worry about you hanging out and exposing anything. I do however have a clothing gown that will look beautiful on you. After that, no one will have any doubt that you’re an attractive young woman. I hope that will be okay with you?”

Hattie is the first to yell, “Oh that’s great, I know she’ll love to do it!” Jan looks to me, and I say, “We’ve practiced things like this as twins, it will be great.”

My hair isn’t quite as long as Hattie’s but it is longer than it usually is. Jan jokes with me, “You didn’t do us the favor of wearing a pair of panties did you?” I look dismayed but that quickly changes as Hattie joyfully says, “My Mom thought they’d be needed and gave me a package of three fresh panties.”

Jan handed me two from the package and pointed to a screen. “Go behind there and I suggest you put on two pairs to hide things in place. Then give your sister the remaining pair if she needs something fresh to change into.” I’m given a long floppy top to wear over the panties.

When I hesitate to come around from the screen. Jan says, “Hey young lady! If you’re going to be a model, you need to step through that shyness.” Hattie encourages me, “Teri pretend it’s just like we’re at home.” Even at home, I had developed a shy demeanor when I pretended to be a model.

Jan says, “Sweet, I like that look.”

My first outfit is to be a greyish pink dress with a lace front, and I’m to wear tights with a rainbow of pinks. Three-inch heels and a long-strapped purse are part of the outfit. The second outfit is a pair of low riding designer jeans with a cotton blouse. The blouse again has a gap with strings hanging down as well as holding it together. I’ll wear designer glasses with a rose tint. When I take them off at the end of the runway I’ll show off bright blue eyes with eyeshadow to be determined. The third outfit is a mini-dress with open lacework down to my navel.

Hattie speaks up, “If he wears it like that they’re going to suspect he’s a boy…” Jan continues, “Or a flat-chested girl who is more daring than embarrassed to wear it.”

My fourth and final change will be into a full skater dress showing my curves including that I am wearing a bra with noticeable breasts. Jan says, “You are even to go out in this dressy gown and sign autographs and say hello, afterward. Do you think, you can do that?”

I pause and I know Jan is waiting for me to respond; Ms. Briggs has even come into our area. I gulp for air as I consider my words. I say, “If my sister is willing to do it with me. And if my mother isn’t complaining after she watches me take part in the fashion show, I’ll be happy to do so.”

Jan says, “I am proud of you. I’m guessing since your mother already signed your permission slip. She will likely accept our last request. We will, however, live with her decision.” Jan turns to Hattie, “And you, you know what she’ll be wearing and that the two of you will be doing so as the Slade sisters. Are you willing to be part of the greeting committee with Teri after the fashion show?”

Ms. Briggs speaks up, “If you remember, I told you before each of you gets to keep one of the outfits you’ve modeled. And we are obligated to pay you the minimum wage for your time working with us. But it is our policy to pay volunteers $12.00 per hour and our professional models will be paid at the minimum rate of $25.00 per hour unless another agreement has been reached with them.”

She says, “Jan is one such model as we are short-handed for models. If it would be an incentive for you. I can tell you that Jan receives over $75.00 per hour as a model. It is above that but $75 is what I am able to tell you.”

I could see my sister Hattie mouthed the words seventy-five.

Hattie, Jaime, and I had already shown Jan how we’ve acted out modeling before. Quickly Jan instructs us about walking straight, how we’re to hold our hands and move our arms as we walk back and forth on the runway. She tells us how to step, stop, and shift our weight as we turn at the end of the runway. She is in part seeking to simplify what we will do saying, “It is natural to get nervous and to hurry things.” She has us count ten seconds to walk to the end of the runway. Ten-twelve to pause and turn, making eye contact with three people and then another ten seconds returning. We are to return to where we started and wait until we’re excused.

I am supposed to eat half of a sandwich to keep my energy up and to sip my drink enough to wet my throat. I’m to leave most of it for the fashion show in between changes. I watch the selection of clothes for Hattie and I’m kind of jealous. Her dresses and outfits are more colorful. I am taken with how fashionable she looks in each. I know we’re not real models but Hattie has already incorporated the changes into her runway walk as Jan has told us to do.

I did peek out to see how Jaime is doing. Several other people are getting ready to model. I hear the name of two Darla Hart, whose name I recognize as being a model. Kate looks to be a model though I don’t recognize her name. Jaime says she’s in seventh heaven as Darla took time to give her pointers and to compliment her. There are five models there and with Hattie, myself, and Jan that makes eight people as models.

We’re not to pay attention to the other models nor count how many outfits they model. Our attention is to be on ourselves that is easier said than done. Or so I thought, but as the fashion show begins I am consumed with doing what I’m told.

I think I’m doing really well in my pink outfit with my pink rainbow tights. Ms. Briggs calls them leggings. I reached the end of the runway and the second person I focus on is my Mother. I know Bonnie is next to her but it is my mother’s smile and clapping that I really notice. The third person is a girl several years younger than me.

Someone whistles as I turn to walk back. I hoped it was for the next model, but she had waited until I started walking back. One photographer shakes her head in appreciation as I posed for her on my way back. Jan compliments me and slaps my butt to get moving.

The woman, who puts in my bright blue contacts, does it so smoothly and then applies a blueish purple mascara. It is a shame to put on the designer sunglasses over them, but I know they’re coming off at the end of the runway. Mom’s eyes are in shock mode when she sees the gap my blouse has. When I take off my glasses lean back and begin to turn numerous cameras are flashing. I look at the girl I saw the first time and she’s saying “Wow!” and I am pleased. I paused at the end for three photographers but I still kept the return to twelve seconds.

Putting on the mini-dress is simple while having another woman put white lace stockings on up my legs sent shock waves through my shyness as it falls to the wayside. I’m surprised that the stockings stay up on their own. The heels my feet are slipped into are 4” high. My hair is brushed differently, the jewelry more flashy, the front of the dress is open. And I fear that my panties will show from the top or the bottom. I am not sure what to make of my mother enthusiastically applauding when I finally make my way down the runway. The whistles come from girls as well as guys. I did hear one person say, “Maybe she’s not a girl?”

I don’t know how much time has elapsed, but for me, the time is going fast but lasts long. I’m finally back as I change into my last dress. Ms. Briggs takes the honors of pressing on my small breast forms and handing me my bra. I see Hattie watching me as she has just come back from her fourth outfit. I know she has one more outfit to model. I change into a pair of satin or silk boy panties before the dress is lifted over and placed down upon me. Another pair of stockings takes the place of the previous pair. I swear I could commit myself to wear stockings at this point.

Jan has me step into a pair of 3” heels. She says, “We want the dress to sell this look.” Jan puts a sparkling silver necklace on me. It is beautiful, but Jan looks and says yuck to the silver clip-on earrings. I speak up, “I agree, you need to use the silver hoops that are pierced earrings.”

Jan pauses and looks at me in disbelief at my words. She says, “But your mother?”

I smile, “She signed my permission slip didn’t she?”

Jan yells, “Attie, you need to hurry and go before your sister. She needs extra time.”
There is a towel and needle and the first earring is in. “Beautiful!” yells Jan. She concentrates, pauses and catches her breath and finally pierces my left ear. The earring is in and Jan declares, “Wow that compliments the dress and you.” I see her give me an air kiss saying, “Thank you, Teri” She said more than I could hear, but I interpret it to say, a simple, “Thank you.”

It was when I stepped away toward the runway that I realized Jan had been down to her panty and bra for her last change. Hattie is back from her last strut down the runway. She stops when she gets to me. “Teri, you are fantastically beautiful in that dress. Take a breath and go out there and sell that you’re the girl down the street.”

It means to Hattie and me that we’re in a Cinderella moment. She could not have been more inspiring. I was not told, nor did I plan it. But as I got to the end of the walkway, I curtsied. I turn and walk back was as though I was dancing on air. Several people stand up and clap for me. Three of Hattie’s friends joined in clapping for me and call me Teri.

The three professional models each took their last walks on the runway and I was holding Hattie’s hand as we both watched the best we could from behind the curtain. Hattie hugs me and whispers, “I’d love to be a model.” I echo her saying “I’d love it too.”

Hattie says, “You heard Jan say, ‘You’re a natural at modeling?” When I say, 'Really.' Hattie understands I had not heard it the first time.

“You know Hattie, part of what works for me is us doing it together. I became your alter ego to those who are watching.”

It was great to hear several girls say to us later that they liked how we work together and play off of the other. Truth be told neither of us was conscious of doing it intentionally. The show was finished around 3:00 and we were out meeting people another half-hour plus.

Mom gives me a hug as she had Hattie. Then she says to the two of us, “Are you going to be ready to model in Indianapolis in three weeks?” Something told me she wasn’t joking and I let out a scream, “Were we asked?” Hattie’s surprised and asks, “Oh my, Mom are you going to let us do it?”

Jan and Ms. Sandra who we’re introduced to asks if they can take us and our Mom to dinner. We go to a fancy restaurant that I didn’t even know about. Ms. Sandra wants to sign us to an exclusive contract. Hattie agrees with Mom. We’ll sign for the fashion show in Indianapolis. It is a three-day show and we’re to model on Saturday. Mother has the wit to ask for accommodations at the hotel, they’re staying at.

Sandra says, “We were going to provide them if we were very impressed come Saturday morning.”

Hattie and I begin talking together. Then we say, “We were wanting to be able to watch and learn from the real models.” Jan says, “There will be ten of us, and Sunday's show will be with the best of us and the best of others. If you’re indeed open to learning, it would be a wonderful opportunity. But we want you two to relax and realize it takes a long time to get established in this business. The odds are against any girl making it. It is not only hard work, but there’s also a lot of luck and people seeing something special in you that needs to come into play. That goes for the two of you. We won’t put up with someone being spoiled or having an attitude.”

Mother says, “You’re offering them, $150/ hour. Is that not a sign you believe they have potential?”

Ms. Briggs says, “Yes, they’re very photogenic and they seem to have natural instincts for modeling. Many young women have gotten by; by pretending once and then that’s it. It’s important to show if you can do so again and again. That is not as easy as it sounds.”

We’re finally home and walk into the house together. My father and brother Jack greet us. With makeup and having a girl’s outfit on, neither of them immediately recognize me. Dad is still looking for me to come through the door.

Dad jokes with my mother, “I’ve seen you carrying in more purchases when you shopped only part of the day. What took you so long?” My Dad starts to reach out his hand to welcome me before he realizes it is me.

“Your mother said I was in for a surprise. So what happened that we now have a pretty boy looking like his sister…?”

To be continued...

Attie and Teri enjoyed meeting others as they greeted people after the fashion show. Teri was fortunate that he’d been around his sister and her friends so much. Otherwise, the questions and stories girls and moms were mentioning would have been more awkward. Attie had listened in on a few exchanges and was impressed with her twin brother.

After all, they had done today, including Teri getting to pick and keep the last dress she wore. Teri was worn out and had not paid any attention to returning home. She became shaken with her dad and brother seeing him as Teri.

Hattie takes me to my bedroom and helps me to change out of my dress. She then helps me to clean my makeup off. It’s most redeeming quality is that Hattie and I get to share about the wonderful day we’ve had. Needless to say, she was more excited to talk about guys who talked to her after the fashion show. I had several as well. I signed autographs with numerous people taking selfies with either or both of Attie and me.

I noticed that Attie made herself absent when her friend Kelsey was in line to greet us. Kelsey is one of those who took a picture with me.

Come morning I was up early and Dad had a good visit with me. “Well Terry, what happens after the next fashion show in Indianapolis if you and your sister do well as the Slade Sisters?”

I say, “Dad, I think that is a moot point as they say it is hard to make it as models. There’s a lot of competition.”

Dad says, “Mom showed me a couple of the pictures she took of you. I must say, you were very convincing. Both you and your sister looked like you were sixteen or older. I know for one thing you would not have left this house in any of the first outfits you modeled.”

I said, “That’s barely a year older than we are. That’s why I took the last outfit. Not only does it
look fantastic, but I could also wear it if needed.”

He says, “You’d actually wear that dress again. I thought it would be bad enough for you to have to model more dresses again.”

“Well, Hattie was the one to point out when we go to the fashion show it would be better for me to dress as Teri. That includes going there as well as during the show. We’re wanting to stay around and watch professional models as well as go around to the exhibits and out to dinner in Indianapolis. There have to be some nice places to go and eat that require dressing up.”

“I think Hattie was planning on talking about that with Mom. She said we could get by with maybe four outfits for me. Lucky we’d be paid a larger about.”

Mom comes into the nook area and Dad speaks up, “Did you know these kids think Terry needs a minimum of four outfits to go to Indianapolis?”

She says, “Yes, Hattie and I just visited in her room about that. I think we should get five or six just in case. We don’t need to just run out and buy things, but come next weekend I’ll plan to shop with them. I’ll call Ms. Briggs to see if we can yet a good discount on things we buy there. It would be nice if they got any expense allowance.”

Mom turns to me “You, young man, are going to need to practice walking in heels. The fashion runway at Indianapolis is over twice as long as the one at the mall. Plus it is elevated and will have a lot more lighting and the flashing of cameras. You’ll want to work on your complexion as blemishes will show up under all those lights.”

Mom said, “I got a text and your checks can be picked up from the mall store. We won’t go shopping but we should pick up the checks so I can get them deposited.”

I ask, “Will I be paid from ten o’clock or from when the show actually started and ended.” Mom wasn’t sure.

Hattie says, “I just talked to Jaime and she said she wasn’t invited to model at the show in three weeks. They said, "they hoped she’d be available for other shows at the mall.”

Hattie asked, “So Teri are you willing to practice modeling with me? I want to stay sharp by practicing modeling today. We should be doing it at least 2-3 times a week.”

I say, “Don’t go calling me Teri like that.”

Hattie turns to Dad, “Daddy are you going to go with us the next time in Indianapolis?”

Dad says, “I’m hoping it’s one and done. Terry, you surely don’t want to be doing this do you?”

Terry says, “Dad, I think it’s actually great that I can pull off modeling as a girl. I thought I was doing fairly well at modeling, I liked that. I got better at the quick change thing. You could see that the people had begun to think I might be a boy with the first three outfits. The last dress and how I looked caught people by surprise. Then they were sure I was a girl!”

There was a rush I felt every time I was on the runway. Hattie’s always been the pretty one. Yesterday I had both girls and boys looking at me like I was something hot.”

Dad says, “I hope you really don’t want boys getting hot as they look at you.”

“Dad I’m not going to date them. But being a guy and knowing what they’re thinking is a hoot.”

Dad says, “A boy would never think of doing something like that when I was a boy. Don’t you care what others will think?”

“Dad, it isn’t that big of a deal; it’s different from when you were a teen. I get teased enough because I’m still close with Hattie. I really don’t listen to what people call me. I’m comfortable being me.”

Dad says, “You know the longer they cast you, as a mystery person who may or may not be female, transgendered or weird. The harder it is going to be to shake that image when you move on with your life. It could come back to haunt you, and I’m not sure I’m willing to let that happen.”

Wednesday after Mom’s home from work she says, “I want you two to look for me when you get out of school tomorrow. I’m taking you shopping. Terrance you’ll be along to say if you like the clothes we pick. Hattie, you’re to help me get some of Teri’s outfits as well as yours.”

Hattie, “Mom that is not a great idea, what looks good on me doesn’t always look so well on Terry or vice versa.”

Mom says, “You haven’t even tried it. If it doesn’t work out well I’ll take him out shopping another time.”

Hattie says, “Mom, tomorrow we both have history our last period. Just give us a note to get out early. We can change quickly and I can help Teri get back her look.” Mom and Hattie both look at me.

I say, “Maurice's is the only store I want to shop around here. Other than that I’d want to get farther away and not know the people who are looking at us. …I’m not excited about getting new girl clothes. But if we’re doing it. I want to take enough time to know they look good and feel right on me, not Hattie.”

Mom says, “You’re honestly considering this is something that could work out for you, aren’t you?”

I look to Hattie, “We both are. It is not something that has to happen, but we want to take a good shot at doing it well.”

Hattie agrees, “We like the idea of the two of us doing it. There are so many possibilities. We can look like twins or different like last Saturday. If I don’t develop too much I could even look a little boyish, like Teri looking like a boy modeling as a girl.”

“Mom, we want to be practicing modeling either Saturday or Sunday the next two weekends. We called Ms. Briggs to see if we could even do it there once. Do you want to know what she said?”

Mom says, “I don’t like you discussing something like that with Ms. Briggs without my knowing it. But yes, I’m interested in what she thinks. What did she say?”

I say, “Well for one she’s thinking of giving us 25-50% off on any clothes we buy. She thinks if we’re going to be in the public eye especially after we model. We should be nicely attired. Some of the professional models can get away with wearing whatever they want. They even asked us to be there with Jan, because we know her.”

Teri says, “I’m sorry mother but if I’m to go get some new clothes. I think it will be good for me to go shopping there. I don’t have the same likes of styles or colors as my sister. It is kind of strange to dress as the girl, Teri. I’m not really a girl. Yet when we go to Indianapolis, I want to be comfortable in what I wear.

Mom says, “If you want to practice modeling as Teri being a girl? I think he needs to be practicing being a girl more often. So after we go shopping, he will spend the rest of today and at least two other days at home as Teri. Do you understand?”

Hattie laughs, “That’s alright with me Mom, but Terry was going with Brad to a movie tonight. So I don’t think that will work.”

Mom says, “Terry do you think Bradley would mind going to a movie with a girl?” We talked and we either go shopping today or not. Mom said as Terry, I need at least one guy friend knowing what is going on so I have another person to talk with.

We go to Ms. Brigg's store with me as me. Mom wants to watch and see how the transformation happens. We agree on a skirt outfit that I like as well as another outfit that would be nice for roaming around Indianapolis. Today, Jan is not here, but Ms. Briggs has no problem in helping to transform me over to Teri for the rest of the day. We had brought a women’s shopping bag of things like a panty, shoes, and stockings I would need and I changed into them. Ms. Briggs has a training bra she wants me to begin to wear.

I am not sure if she talked to my Mom but it was to her liking as well. The first skirt outfit was given to me to change into. I like what had been chosen. Except that the skirt was a short skater skirt. It actually looks better once it's on me. Though I’ll need to work harder in being sassy Teri. Ms. Briggs says I enjoy being pretty like my sister.

Once I’m changed into the outfit; Mom takes me next door to Merle Norman’s to have my face made up. Shanice, the woman there, takes over and nicely makes sure I am choosing to do this. “We have no problem in helping a boy to achieve her look, but we make sure there is nothing bad happening.”

“Shanice, would you believe if I tell you I’m a model?”

Shanice giggles lightly, “You don’t remember, but I was working with Ms. Briggs when Jan took you and your sister in the other room Saturday. I was quite impressed by how well you and your sister did in modeling the outfits, especially you. I could tell it was not an everyday occurrence for you.”

“It is not just that I’d like to sell you some cosmetics, but I think you’ll want to use something good like what we sell. Most models like to use something that they can rely on.” She shows me how to achieve the smoky blue eyes that I had for the fashion show. “If you’re going to be out on the town, I recommend you keep the blue look and decide to keep it simple with using white or a light yellow. You don’t want to get too colorful if you’re trying to get them to believe you might be a boy.”

With bluish golden eyes, I find and wear an attractive yellow, white and black blouse dress as we leave there to do some more shopping. I am more than a little uncomfortable but Mom and Hattie convince me its best. Hattie says, “There’s no way anyone except a girl confident in her looks will dress like you are now. This was Teri selecting her style.”

While I am scared of stepping out. I like what I hear Hattie saying and it puts me in a different mood. We are soon out of the car, but not without someone doing a double-take looking at Hattie and me. “Aren’t you…?”

We didn’t stop to hear their question. But it is not long after that we hear again, “Aren’t you two the twins we heard about earlier in the week?” Polly says, “My sister said, you two are more of a novelty and not real models?”

Another girl says, “I’m Cadence and I saw you two on the web. You two were awesome. I hope you enjoy making some critics eat their words.”

Attie says, “The best thing we can do is not to react to them but do our best.”

I buy a dress that looks very pretty and traditional. It is the deep satin blue dress that I search for in my size. Once I do find it and try it on, it really excites me. Mom decides to buy it, but before I can go back to the changing room. Attie scoots over and unhooks some loops covering a split that goes up my left thigh.

Polly is still around with us and she says, “I can tell when you really love a dress that’s right for you.”

I go into the changing room, but I can hear my Mom ask, “What do you notice that is different?”

Polly says, “The excitement in her face. The more she likes a dress or outfit for her the more excited she gets.” Mom asks Polly, “If we gave you two free tickets to the fashion show in Indianapolis in two weeks. Do you think you can get someone to take you there?”

“My sister Madi would; she’s skeptical as I said and thinks Teri’s really a boy.”

Mom wanted to call talk to Ms. Briggs alone so we went to Forever 21 to browse. Polly went to find her sister and then found us again. Madi’s eyes felt like x-rays once she sees me. She says, “I want to thank you for those tickets. I’ve not been to one of the bigger fashion shows. My Mom hasn’t given me permission to go yet. By the time she usually decides the good tickets like these will be all gone. That’s my mom’s way of killing my interest to do something.”

Madi says, “It’s nice to get to see you up close and meet you.”

Attie says, “Your sister says you think Teri’s a boy, is that for real?”

Madi says, “I didn’t see her curves until the last dress she modeled. I didn’t mean anything despairing. I thought that was the impression the fashion show was wanting us to consider.”

Attie says, “What about now?”

“Well, you look like a brother and sister I’ve seen. They’ve come here to this mall now and then with some other girls. Not judging, but when she dressed like a girl, she could pass as one. …I’m not seeing a trace of a boy with Teri, but I will wait until I see you modeling again before I say.” Polly asks if they can get a picture taken with us. We’re not supposed to but we allow it this time.

Attie answers her phone and mom’s ready for us to go do more shopping elsewhere

We go to another shopping area over thirty miles away. Hatti says she and mom have been here. It is a number of big stores like Macys and Kohls with other specialty stores in between. Neither Hattie nor I understand why mom’s insisting we stop at the Maurice store as our first stop. However, the manager has three outfits for each of us to try on.

I hear Dad echoing in my mind, and I to begin to wonder if I’m liking this too much. But I do like it, so I decide not to let it stop my enjoying our shopping trip. We bought a good supply of makeup for me at Merle Normans. Now we’re adding more clothing. Mom comments, “Well I’m glad Ms. Briggs helped with the transformation. We’ve been able to get a fair amount of what you need to practice and for Indianapolis.”

Mom sees me mouth the word ‘some.’ She immediately comments, “Yes some. After you are practicing three days a week for the next two weeks. You’ll be tired of some of these outfits, maybe even the dress you really love. You’ll be sulking by then if we don’t have at least three more changes of clothes. I am sure we’ll be needing more and better stockings.”

Hattie’s shaking her head, yes, and I’m fairly sure that I’ll be liking this even more by then. I tend to get excited about events that I have to wait for…

To be continued…

I was surprised that while we were shopping that I relaxed. I enjoyed myself and began to think more about our modeling trip to the state capital. I helped to pick out a dress and an outfit that I as Teri would look special in.

Once we were home, I hurried to get back into my clothes. I continued doing so even after I found them to be less comfortable. They were scratchy to my skin.

Hattie comments, “Teri, you make a wonderful girl. Each time out as a girl you are becoming more natural as a model and my sister.”

“Thanks, Hattie, but let’s remember it’s only as part of our modeling and the need to practice. I have times I need to be more convincing as a girl model. It doesn't mean I like it.”

Come morning, Terrance got up and ready for school quietly. He was in full Terrance mode. He was even part of a guy’s pick-up basketball game when he got there before school began. Jamie saw him and strongly asked, “Teri, what are you doing?”

She looked at his hands and could tell two of his long fingernails were broken or damaged. When they went into the school she says, “Did you notice how hard that was on your hands and fingernails, from having played basketball with those boys.”

She could see some disappointment on his face, but it quickly disappeared. Terrance said, “Well what did you think was going to happen. I am a guy you know.”

Hattie joined them and asked, “Hey what’s going on?” Once at her locker, Jamie got what she needed and walked away. All she said, “Your brother has an attitude and he took it out on his hands.”

Hattie walks with Terrance to their lockers, one next to the other. Hattie simply says, “We know you’re a boy but you don’t need to look and smell like a sweat hog to prove it.” Once at their lockers she lifts his right hand and sees the damaged nails.

She didn’t say anything, but Terrance did. “A bit overboard, but I felt a need to do it and I feel better.”

Another friend, Tess sees them talking and looking at his nails. She jokes, “Good thing that is you and not your girly sister. She’d be freaking out.” It wasn’t fully true, while Hattie is quite girly she’s not so fragile as to freak out per se. She had once broken a nail, punching a guy in the shoulder. The guy and his friends had picked on Terrance and another boy both small for their age. Girls got in less trouble in fighting back, even if it was for their brother.

Come Saturday morning Hattie and Terry both slept in until 9:00. When Hattie announced, “Hey, let’s get in some modeling practice; beginning as close to 11:00 as possible. We each have set out 3-4 outfits with accessories for each to model.”

Terry asks, “How about we just practice with the clothes and then practice makeup later? We should also practice going by Attie and Teri.”

Hattie says, “Good idea, but I wonder if there’ll be more or fewer times models need to do their own makeup?” They get into a discussion about it. It is Teri who says, “I don’t know about you but I need to learn to do my makeup better. I don’t want to be the captive of someone doing my makeup if we differ.”

Mom was already downstairs and had a lite breakfast ready to prepare. “Here, I got some fresh fruit cut up for you. It should help provide energy, without adding fat.” Terrance understands but it rubs him the wrong way as he’s wanting to grow and bulk up like a regular guy. Yet he also wants to model and easily pull off looking like a girl or woman doing it.

They were about ready to start their practicing with mom watching on to critique them. Mom stops them before they start. “Teri, you need to at least have your hair in some feminine style.”

“But Mom…” Teri began and was interrupted by Attie and then Jamie. “If you don’t, you’ll find it’s not complete.” It wasn’t enough to put it up in a ponytail. That might have been okay for the third change, but not to start out with.

The long hair is swept mostly to one side, with some curls added. Jamie will help Attie if needed and mom will help Teri as needed. It hadn’t dawned on me that I was down to wearing a panty and bra in front of my mother and Jamie. I rationalize it as the way it needs to be as a model.

My first outfit is a long dress that my mother insisted I buy. Today I like it, as it falls down over my body and I have a good sense of how it should fit and look. Mom says, “There was no trying to be seen as being a boy in this dress.” Attie and I both agreed that it did not lend itself to that.

Jamie says, “It would be good for trying to show off the dress as well as to impress others. It is a look that could attract both boys and girls but for very different reasons.”

I thought the second outfit should be my third one as it is too dramatic of a change from the previous dress. This is a poufy skater dress that presents the challenge of wearing white stockings and a garter belt. I didn’t want my mother’s help if I could help it. But I couldn’t balance the look of the stockings with the dress on my own. Mom’s hands touching me as she helps hook the stockings was way too much help from a boy’s mom.

The worst part is how much I like the look and think it would be a nice look for me in wearing this or another outfit like it. that would be especially on our own time at Indianapolis. With mom’s help, I’m able to make the change in five minutes. With makeup and hair, it would be tight in keeping it to eight to nine minutes. I don’t know where mom came up with the big daisy she puts in my hair but it works well and brings out a broader, more cheery smile from me.

This time, mom opens the sliding door and has me walk out back on the stepping stones out to an area nestled among the trees in our backyard. With three-inch heels, my stride is quick, more pronounced like the professional models we’ve seen.

I enjoy the sound of my heels hitting the stone walk. There is a place at the end where I had to move around and show the outfit. I pause a little longer as Mom says they will probably take longer describing the different pieces of clothing, i.e. shoes, top, skirt/dress and in this case even the stockings as it is part of the look. Attie and Jamie have ideas of what I should be doing; I repeat the walk three times until I get the walk and displaying the outfit done really well.

The third outfit has an open-top in the front. Mom needs to blend the edges of my faux boobs with my skin. We do the presentation without a bra or tube top. There is no suggestion hint I might be a male model. Then with the bra and padding and there is no question that I’m presenting as a girl. I’m having fun but between Attie and me I’m the one working her butt off this time.

The next outfit is a flaring skirt open down the front from thigh-high. I like the look but it should be on an older girl. Mom assures me with the proper makeup I will look like a twenty-year-old. The top at its longest sits on the top of the skirt with my waist peek-a-booing out as I move. Attie stops me and ties the bottom of the blouse and now there’s more of my waist showing. Jamie and Attie swear it makes the outfit. I’m not sure, I think they are just playing with me. Mom loosens my hair until it falls down the sides. She too likes how I now look.

I put a swagger to my walk as I walk out and back. Jamie corrects me, “You’re a girl and the swagger should be a swaying of your hips. Lose the tough boy look and bring on the teasing look of a girl being a free spirit.” This time Jamie walks out in front of me to help me get the walk done properly.

I’ve put on the fourth outfit and see another dress suggesting one more change. I say, “What gives, we were doing a maximum of four changes?”

Mom says, “Suck it up and consider yourself a model. If they ask you to model another outfit or three more, you need to be able to do it. Whatever the reason, be it because a show is short of models or it’s a photo shoot and they’ve added some more outfits to the shoot. You should be ready to perform up to the expectation of being a little flirty. Remember there are models waiting to take your place.”

The fifth outfit is more like work, but Attie checks my attitude before I’m to walk out. "Sultry, not pissed off, Teri. Look it’s a beautiful outfit and there’s a boy on the right and two girls straight in front that you’re trying to impress." She sees my expression change and she slaps my butt to send me out. Attie is correct it’s a terrific looking dress. It is a dress many girls would love to see themselves in.

I am asked to repeat the walk two more times before I have it all down. I want to be done, but I do it even one more time to put it all the pieces together. I am happy and Hattie is there as I finish with a smile and a big hug. “You blow my mind, Teri. It was like we were pretending and you got into it big time.”

We’re visiting but Mom had gotten a phone call. I had just finished telling Attie, “I’m not practicing tomorrow!”

Mom said, “There’s a change in those plans. Ms. Briggs wants the four of us at the store come closing tomorrow. Jamie if you can help, she said you’d continue to be on the clock for up to two hours.” Jamie excuses herself as she needs to be there in another ninety minutes. She has begun to work there part-time.

Smoothing out her dress as she/he sits Terrance’s mom smiles. “I like that even tired you handled yourself like a girl. That is what you’re to do anytime you’re presenting yourself as Teri. It looked like you were very much into being Teri the longer you’re into modeling.”

“Until the last outfit, you stayed into character as a young woman. Were you enjoying the outfits as much as it appeared?”

“Mom, it is the little things like Attie stopping me to correct my attitude or to have me do it over again. And Jamie actually walking and moving her hips how she wanted me to do it. They got my mind and body moving more and more in sync. There were two outfits that I wanted to go out in and do something. If I had a boyfriend; I would have wanted to be out with him to see his reaction.”

Mom looks to Hattie, “So Hattie, do you think your friends would be too stunned if Teri went along?”

“Mom, I was just going to go out with Morgan, and she was hoping we could go to the theater. Some guys were going to be there; hopefully, two taking us to a movie.” There’s a pause.

“Isn’t Morgan, the one you wanted to tell that you’re the Slade Sisters? Maybe tonight would be a good time to do that. She is coming here to give you a ride isn’t she?”

Morgan already knew we were the Slade sisters. She was in the group when we were at the mall the first time we modeled. Morgan is a cute girl, but much shier than most. It is partially why at sixteen she’s a friend to us though we’re a year younger. She likes clothes and the idea of modeling but she’s much too shy to step out in front of people.

I go with Hattie to her room as she calls Morgan. It is early afternoon so there is time to get ready if I’m invited. I can hear Hattie’s phone ringing. It was the fourth ring I heard that Morgan answers. I can even hear her giggle. Morgan says, “I was just going to call you and say we have a small problem. Ronnie’s friend Bart has a cousin who arrived unannounced. We can’t go out unless we find someone for Bart’s cousin Jeff to go with him.”

Without asking me, Hattie says, “If I’m pretty enough for Bart, do you think Teri’s good enough for this Jeff?”

I start to speak up and Hattie quickly covers the phone. “You said, you’d like to go out in one of those outfits and even see what your boyfriend thought of how you looked. Now be quiet.” She lifts her hand.

“Yes Morgan, I’m still here and while I can’t say Teri’s excited about a date. She is anxious to practice getting out and acting like a normal girl.”

“That’s what I said, so yes we have a third girl for the evening… We’ll not say that but let her handle it if it happens. …Yes, we can be ready shortly after six this evening. Thanks, I’m sure our Mom will like to meet you again and know everything will be okay.”

“Oh, by the way, can we dress up a little, Teri wants to wear one of two outfits and they’re both really nice. Great, do you want to talk to her, she’s right here.”

Terrance was a little nervous about going out to a movie as Teri, but she was more excited as her sisters and mother made sure she’s a convincing girl. It is not until they’re getting out of the car walking to the movie theaters that Morgan mentions meeting up with others. He’s now worried that it will be someone who might recognize him as Teri.

Ronnie and Bart were recognized from being a grade ahead of them and Jeff who they were introduced to is another year older from another school. He's introduced as the boy who is paying Teri’s way into the movie. Teri tries to protest, but Jeff said, “Please don’t worry about me paying. I’m glad to pay your way, seeing how pretty you look.”

Teri melts a little at the compliment, especially coming from an older boy. Teri recognizes he’s good looking from a girl’s point of view. The movie is good. It has action, but not bloody and its humor fits the story and has a bit of romance. It was after the hero gets hurt and the female lead consoles and protects him that Jeff hugs Teri. He asks, “Do you think you would be there for me if that happened?”

Teri tilts her head until she’s seeing him eye to eye. She knows Jeff as tough as he looks he is being vulnerable. It touches Teri as she said, “Of course, I am sure you’d be there for me as well.” Teri wetted her lips and he hugged her and held there for a moment.

“I believe you would be, thanks!” He looked like he wanted to kiss her, but he decided it was too soon and did not. It was shortly after that when the woman in the movie was frightened. Teri took hold of Jeff and the guy in the movie rescued her. Terri was squeezing Jeff, pulling him close. His arms were warm and stronger and Teri felt safe. Jeff gave her a kiss on the cheek whispering “You’re safe.” When she looked to him their lips met in a kiss. His arms embraced her as the kiss continued. It felt awkward but she felt good and she did not pull away.

Teri was worried that others, especially her sister saw her and would make fun of her. Teri didn’t look around nor had she heard anything from others. They were soon riding back to their house. She was pleasantly surprised that both Morgan and Hattie had seen her. All they said was, “We were frightened then too and it was nice to have someone stronger there.” If Teri was being accepted as a girl, it was okay for now.

When Teri woke up in the morning she remembered she’d be modeling today. She got dressed as Teri and went to the kitchen. Mom was a bit surprised and even more amused. “Teri, I’m surprised you’re up and dressed already. You do remember what day it is, don’t you?”

Teri says, “All I remember is that we’re to do some modeling at the store so I decided I might as well dress as Teri.”

Mom says, “Well it’s Sunday and we’re going to church first and then eat out as a family with your grandparents. Your sister Eva is back from university and that’s what she wanted to do. I guess we’ll be going to Grandma’s church in the west valley.”

“Mom, I don’t want to change, so I’ll just stay home. If that’s okay?”

Mom says, “No, it isn’t. Your sister came to spend some time with you as well as to see you practicing. She and some of her friends even plan to be there when you model for the big fashion show in Indianapolis. She’s going to tell her friends she’s related to the Slade Sisters.”

“If you want to change for church or do your makeup for it go ahead. But you need not change out of girl mode.”

I went back to my room and changed dresses and was doing my makeup when Eva knocked and came in. “I can’t believe it,” she said, “my brother’s competent at makeup. Look at how pretty you are.” She comes and gives me a hug from behind and we were gazing at each other in the mirror.

I think my sisters are beautiful and it always makes me happy when they’re proud of me. Eva could not know how proud of her comment I am, because Terrance wouldn’t say anything.

Two things have me frightened about going to Grandma’s church: The biggest was someone would recognize me or that God and the church would be upset with me if they figured out I'm a boy. It is a good reason however to wear one of my nicer outfits. I put on my robe instead of my skirt and blouse to sit with others around the kitchen table.

Eva, Mom and I were going to meet my grandparents at their church at 9:30. It was right at 9:00 a.m. when we’re going out the door that Hattie comes walking down and is coming with us to the car. She too was wearing one of our nicer skirt outfits, now I’m amused.

Getting to church on time was no problem as the traffic was light until we got right to the church. We were going up the steps when one young girl said, “Look, Mommy and Sis, it’s those model twins, the Slade Sisters.”

I started to say no until my sister punched me. “Don’t correct them, you can’t be my brother Terrance. Hattie introduced herself as Attie”

The girl said, “I can tell the difference you’re taller than Teri.” I say, “I don’t think she's that much taller.” No one is listening.

Mom says, “Girls just focus on finding where your grandparents are.” Granddad stands when he sees us and laughs when he hears the name of the Slade Sisters being mentioned.

He said, “Grandma said someone here would recognize you.” Grandma says, “That’s the Logan girls; they’re pretty sharp. You can expect them and others to want autographs after church. Pray that they go to a Sunday school class and don’t come over.”

“Trina and Sara Logan did ask if we were the Slade sisters and asked for autographs. Two other girls and a younger brother also wanted our autographs. The boy was teased, but his Mom said, “Go ahead Brian, don’t mind them.”

Brian was twelve and said, “Teri, you’re the one they said looks like the male model, but I don’t see it.”

I say, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to keep people guessing for now.” I hand him a small autographed photo with my email address. “I’d be proud if you’d kept in touch. Someday they’ll have nicer clothes for guys.”

We went out to eat and Dad met us there. Several girls walked by us staring. When Eva asks, “Attie and Teri lets got to the powder room.” Two other girls got up at a table nearby and two other girls and their mom are also soon in the women’s restroom. It is unusual for me to be waiting to use a toilet or have girls talk to me while I am. Tina lifts her skirt, “Are these the kind of self-standing stockings you like to wear?”

All this is more than overwhelming for me. I experience myself getting excited as she’s exposed so much.

The meal goes fine and the maître de says, “It appears you two are building a good reputation. I was wondering if you have glossies that you can sign or allow our photographer to take a picture of you for our wall.” He turns to my father, “Dad, their meals are on us.”

Attie speaks up, “If our names become bigger will you be willing to reserve tables for us?”

Dad says, “That’s enough Attie.”

The Maître de says, “Dad, she’s just being a business-savvy young woman. And the answer to your question is ‘Yes’. She will be doing us a favor and we’d be happy to show our thanks.”

Everything took extra time and when we got home. Attie and I only had enough time to shower, refresh ourselves and use minimal makeup. Ms. Briggs was happy to see us and showed us the ten outfits we were to be practicing with. She said, “Several of these could be a dress, that you’ll be wearing in Indianapolis. No photos are to be taken or descriptions to be shared with anyone. Jamie already knows the rules.”

I barked at Jamie, “You didn’t warn us these might be the dresses?”

“Ms. Briggs says, That’s best for all of you, take the lesson to heart.” Attie and I are both looking at two outrageously beautiful satin party dresses. We’re saying, “Oh my”… but no words are coming out. Ms. Briggs says each one gets to model one of those dresses. …You do well and they might be yours.”

Mom giggles when I say, “They’re to die for.” The best part was when we modeled them. Each felt and hung on us even better than they previously looked. We practiced with five outfits or dresses each. We worked there three hours, which Jamie got paid for six hours and we got three hours at minimum wage. Mom says, “The practice pays dividends when you’re modeling in the fashion show.”

Jan Coffman came before we left. “I would like you here Wednesday and Thursday. You will have seven changes to be made in an hour and a few minutes. The changes need to be flawless the first time, no second takes. The crowd will be much bigger, the lights hotter and there will be judges and critics and in addition to Ms. Briggs, myself there will be many more important people from the corporation.”

“If you feel sick or wet your panties then make sure it does not happen on the runway and preferable not in the dresses. You clean up a lot easier than the clothes…”

To be continued…

The Midwest Fashion Extravaganza had not ever been on my radar before. I know, I pretended a lot of things with Hattie and even with Eva. When I was little Eva would put one of her blouses on me; it fitted like a dress. But I never expected I would be going to model in Indianapolis, Indiana before several thousand people. I guess it is not big in the fashion world though the show draws more attention every year. Someone even said the Slater sisters modeling was one of the draws this year for the press, TV and media.

Friday morning has a lot of trade people setting up booths and making presentations. There are a lot of samples being given out. Different bags for different levels of models. Little good Teri’s bag will go as they’re for women.

There are three name recognizable names that have been brought in to help draw greater interest.

There is one regional model Trei that is male performing as a regular model in the women’s fashion world. His desire along with many other models is to draw the attention of those who might give him an opportunity to break into the national or world scene. I sought him out but he is not at all warm to me. In one interview, he said of me, “He’s (me) only nice in that he looks pretty like his sister.”

Ms. Briggs says to me, “He probably sees you as competition. If he’s like this now beware of any suggestions he gives later.

When we got to the mall last Monday and our store Jan, as well as Ms. Briggs, was there. We’re introduced to Aubrey, who will be working with us in Indianapolis. She’s more serious and particular to details at first. She warms up to us once she sees we’re disciplined and follow her instructions. I am quickly down to my bra, panty and wearing a short half-slip. She has my face lightly made up girly. She says, “Teri, whenever someone refers to you as a boy, I want you not to react. If someone says ‘Terrance’ you are not to respond, even to look in that direction. Part of the mystique is that you stay as a girl.”

My first outfit is a cute pink dress with a lace front and baby blue worked into it. When asked what I thought, I told them. “It felt like someone screamed ‘here comes a little girl’, in a women’s fashion show.”

Jan says, “Good, I thought the same thing. Hurry and go change into the other pink dress that I have for you back there. I’ll take a picture and hopefully, you won’t be wearing this one in the show.”

As she said, the next one is pink too, but Attie says, “Now you look like a teenage girl who’s ready to flirt with the boys.”

I even like a subtle change Aubrey makes in my makeup. I can see a gleam in her eyes when she feels she has captured my spirit for a dress or outfit. She says during the evening, “I can sense Terrance is there, I’m glad of that. But you have a personality that is Teri’s and she’s the one who is modeling.” I like that she understood that.

Ms. Briggs says, “After the show shuts down the first night, Aubrey will be there to help you with one outfit and to walk the runway one more time. Your group the next day begins around ten but you two won’t be stepping on the runway until after 10:30.”

“Do not be bothering Jan as she needs to focus on her performances. She so wants to be one of those invited back to model on Sunday. It happened two years ago, but not last year. We will be very happy if she remains a model in the Midwest and expands to the Northeast market. But she wants to make it even bigger. She has the ability and what it takes, what she needs is a break.”

Jan, Aubrey, and Ms. Briggs introduced us to the clothes we’ll be modeling. Aubrey Miles and Cindy Stanton will be helping us. Cindy asks, “I know three of your changes will encourage people to see you as a boy modeling as a girl. Which is it, are you a boy or are we just wanting them to guess you are?”

Hattie and I see two fantastic party dress and we’re hoping we each get to wear one of them. But they are put aside as we begin trying the different dresses and outfits. Jan and Aubrey help us to figure how we should present ourselves with each outfit. Everything is a better quality and there is not even one outfit that appears ordinary.

Two hours have sped by and we are told there are still two for each of us.

Cindy says, “There is enough of an appearance that you are bidding to raise the question about being a girl.” The truth is the past two weeks one of the problems has been; I’ve looked more girly at the times they didn’t want me to. Mom said it was my complexion. I have watched my diet and have taken to eating natural foods like Attie. Attie and I do splurge when others are not around. Her doctor has told Hattie eating them will help her with her complexion and with her development, but not mine. Our third, fourth and fifth changes we are playing off of each other as well as raising questions as to my identity being male or female.

Each of us will argue during the week who as the nicest dress and look. It feels awkward for me to say that, but I’ve become competitive. I now want to look as fantastic as my sister or better. I had sent pictures of Attie and myself to Eva. Since we’re not there and have professional makeup, she is unsure which is who. She’s unwilling to say one was better. My dress looks and feels like the satin is snugging firmly against me.

Before we go home Mom takes me aside: “Teri are you comfortable with you looking this good in your dresses? There will be some young men looking at the models more than the fashions one’s wearing.”

I won’t let Mom know how well I understand. I say, “Mom it goes with being a model. It will be something I will need to deal with.” I ask, “I would like to talk with you, about modeling, dressing and using makeup like a girl.”

“Jan said, ‘There’re things others might do detect my boy parts. The company could get a special gaff that looks like a vagina; you could even pee while wearing. When you wore it you’d look with or without panties that you have a vagina.’”

When I tell my mother what she said, my mother says, “I know, she asked me if it was okay to talk to you about it. She told me both about the vagina gaff and how anatomically correct it is. I guess there are a number of ways people intruding into a model’s life may try to use revealing photos. I guess the intrigue of you being a male modeling women’s fashions has piqued the interest of the fashion world for the coming show.

“It would be possible to have one fitted for you and in place for the fashion show. But you should take some time and think about it.”

“Mom, would it be okay for you and me to have a fitting scheduled as we think and consider it?”

Mom smiles, “Yes that could be a sensible way to go about it.” When we told Jan, she called over Ms. Briggs and Aubrey. Aubrey would be the one to schedule the fitting for the day after tomorrow. And everyone understood that I reserved the right to cancel it before or after the fitting. Part of me would be pushed up and hidden away, forming a slight mound where the pubic hair would be.

Come the fitting, my mom and I were impressed with how it helped me to present myself as a young woman. The cost was being picked up by others. I wore it home and if everything went well I’d wear it. It would be put on Thursday for throughout the fashion weekend.

Come Monday at school, I dressed as Terrance. Since Hattie and I were the only who knew, it seemed odd only to me.

I enjoyed practicing Monday through Wednesday. Aubrey worked with us at the back of the store. Mom thought Hattie and I would get tired of it and lose interest. Contrary, we were excited and wanted everything to be second nature to us come Saturday morning.

Jan was both in part of the opening ceremony on Friday as well as modeling some outfits sometime during the day. She did a segment for a broadcast from the show, but it was only seen in parts through the broadcast and computer-generated programming.

Friday night was like Cinderella stepping into a different world at the prince’s ball. We were giddy like little girls knowing Jan and having met two of the other models. Then when we got to practice walking the runway on our own, with a real fashion piece. I now knew why they said this was so important. It was both an emotional rush of joy and terror. I paused at the end of the runway and gazed around the auditorium. Gigi and Sonam, two of the big name models that I got to meet. And they were out in the auditorium talking to each other when I had my walk on the runway. Gigi saw me looking around at the end of the runway. She commented, “I am happy for you and your sister. You are both very photogenic and it appears you’re well practiced as models.”

Come morning we were to work come 6:30 for hair, basic makeup, and seeing the outfits we’re modeling today. More models and groups came and would be presenting than we previously knew. We would now be limited to seven maybe, an eighth outfit to be modeled. Once Attie and I were determined to show well and to change fast so that we would appear on the runway at least eight times.

I threw-up shortly before eight a.m. when I was told we had an interview at 9:00 a.m. Gentry Court was interviewing us; we were nine or ten when we first saw her on TV. We were very glad when she asks good questions and shows she was interested in us. The interview started with us modeling an outfit we had model another time. “I’m told two young fans are here, but one was not originally a fan after your first show.”

Attie says, “Oh Polly and Madi,” she says, “Madi thought Teri wasn’t for real as a model, just as a novelty connected to a rumor going around. …We’re not super thin and definitely aren’t supermodels. But we work hard to be here, are blessed with some looks and we enjoy being models.”

Gentry asks, “So Teri are you a boy presenting himself as a woman?”

“Well, Gentry, how many boys do you know were pretending to be a model even when she, I mean he was six with her sister? Do I look like a boy?”

Gentry said, “You present yourself very well, well enough that I believe you’re a woman, but I’m not fully sure.”

“I have seven outfits and, hopefully, an eighth outfit that I’ll be modeling and we’ll be around all weekend learning from the professional models.”

I am changing into the full skater dress with two petticoats and the white silk stockings held by a garter belt. The crocheted lace and satin dress is a hit as I step on the runway. As Terrance, I’m uncomfortable on a raised platform. Teri’s excited to show she’s a model worthy of being here. She moves to show the dress at its best.

I see Madi in the sea of faces, she is one of three I’ll look to. There was a man with a tablet, looks important, he’ll be another person and there’s Tamara a photographer from the last time for my third person. I’m making good contact with the crowd and getting reactions from those three people in particular.

The second outfit is a light blue summer skirt with a white cotton embroidered with blue, red and yellow flowers and a yellow lace ribbon border below it. I am wearing a light red camisole underneath the blouse. This time I strut with spring in my step to convey a festive mood like the outfit itself. I can tell Madi likes the outfit, the man’s writing a lot. Tamara has been taking a series of shots this time, no less than twenty.

I pass Attie as she is stepping out and I’m finishing. Her bright colorful satin dress is a knockout. I’m not quite sure if that’s a girl term or not. I know a young man a row from the front who will drool seeing her.

The third change is a dress like I practiced in, but this one is a beautiful red dress for a night out. It is very different from the safe evening dress, I was to be wearing. It opens a lot in the front with laces that barely hold the gap from going any further. The heels are supposed to be 3” but they feel like four. The back of the dress is cut low with a strip of fabric going across the back of the dress. It is where one could hide the back of a bra if one were wearing it.

There are two spaghetti straps, one goes over my shoulder and the other is down off the shoulder. Everything about it looks beautiful and by the time I’m ready for the runway, I am excited that they trusted me to model it. My steps are long and I twirl once as I’m walking down the runway. I know I am giving maximum skin exposure, including a lot of legs. I make three different poses at the end of the runway.

They are taking their time in describing the dress, announce Marcus as the designer and lastly that I’m modeling the dress at Marcus’ request. They audience explode in applause. I saw in the program last night and know that Marcus is one of the featured designers. He’s from New York City.

I have bright blue contacts in that will show well against the dark cherry red lip gloss. There is a blue tint to my mascara.

One photographer pushes a camera in the middle of the runway to take pictures as I go over it. This is where, my vagina gaff comes into play; protecting my male identity. Before the end of the fashion show; it makes the internet I am a woman masquerading as a male model.

With the sixth outfit, I appear as a poorly endowed, Twiggy type of a model. I am not sure who or what Twiggy is. But Aubrey says they oversized the rose tinted glasses add to that look. It is a floor length skirt, an off pink blouse that is feminine and flatters a petite frame. By the number of flashes and clicking of cameras and I am sure it is well received. Attie had worn another Marcus dress this one is an elegant evening gown. It is suggested for a young college woman coming out in society or celebrating the accolades of others in the business world. It is the third standing ovation Attie/her outfits have gotten.

The last dresses for both of us are by Aurei’ from Europe. Our last changes are the two evening party dresses. Attie’s dress will wow the crowd and when she heads back from the runway I begin my walk out. But I stop the same time Attie does. Then Attie turns around and runs to a stud of a model who’s now at the end of the runway. Attie jumps into his arms and is carried back down and into the crowd.

I take a breath and allow the beauty of my colorful party dress show itself. I had remained where all of the commotion and begin again. A spotlight hitting my dress shows more sparkle and color than I knew the dress had. If there is a show stopper out of my outfits this dress is it.

Though I start with a sheer scarf covering much of it the color and design stand out. I bring the scarf off and tie it more like a belt with the ends hanging off my left hip, down my leg. Come to the end of the runway I remove it and used it as protection to help keep the damp coolness of a night in Paris night off of me. This party dress silhouettes the curves of femininity that I am presenting quite well. The front drops nicely showing the little cleavage I have.

Ms. Briggs quite excited as she introduces Attie and me to several people from the corporation. We’re invited to an evening gathering, we had not previously been invited to attend. True to our age we ask if there will be any music and dancing.

A Ms. Shon Dorf is nice enough to amuse us saying, “We’ll need to see what we can do.” She says, “We would like you to wear your dresses designed by Marcus.”

Attie says, “That seals it, we’ll be there.”

Attie and I take our dresses to our hotel room and change into nice casual outfits, have lunch at the café with Jamie. Madi and Poly both find us. I later find out they had text Attie. It is fun to see Poly’s excitement any time someone asks a question or for an autograph.

Tamara the photographer comes over and besides our own people, she is the first to allude that we had done especially well. She says, “Do you realize how well you have done this morning?” There is a silent pause as we look at each other. “I would not be surprised if one of you would be asked to model tomorrow.”

I am trying to control my excitement and catch my breath, “Are you serious or just trying to tease us?”

Tamara says, “You are already favorites of mine. It was Alessandro and Pablo that mentioned it backstage after the morning show was over. That is high praise as it is from two known models that are part of the afternoon and evening programs.”

Mom soon came and Attie hastily asks her, “Mom did you hear some photographers say we might we asked to model tomorrow?”

“No, but Eva and her college friends are very impressed with the Slade sisters. I wanted to come and remind you that your cousin Eva came early this morning to see you. They’re likely to ask you to introduce them to Marcus if at all possible.”

I ask, “Mom we’ve been asked to wear Marcus’ dresses and attend some gala being held by the corporate people. I was wondering if you and Eva could possibly come as our agents.” Attie thinks that is a good idea. Mom calls Halley, her lawyer friend. When my mother is off the phone she says, “Halley Roberts has volunteered to be here tonight. She and I have talked before. She had told me if you did really well today. There are likely some offers to be made that you two should be considering. One is by the larger corporation and there may also be other groups and agents making offers. She said she liked the idea of Eva representing your business and investment dealings. She does suggest an independent agent should also be considered. Halley is very willing to check business contracts and any offers.”

Dad comes and while he compliments how we did. But he is noticeably uncomfortable with the venue and wants to return home later this afternoon. Hearing the slight possibility of modeling tomorrow. He apologizes, but he rather not stay around to see it. Seemingly he knows there might be more. He does not encourage me, Teri, to continue modeling, but states he will not stand in our way.

We are emotionally exhausted from modeling, but we are too excited to miss Jan Coffman and others modeling this afternoon. We have met Constance and Travis who are among the ten regional models in our group. Attie is open to watching Travis but I’ve already lost any interest in following him. Constance and Jan are the two I know and like. I am interested to be in the back helping as Aubrey or other staff people instruct me. We will be out front for the evening fashion show. Marcus will have more clothing designs to be modeled. Many will be shown tonight.

Aurei is also to have ten more clothing designs to be shown, but all are to be worn during Sundays’ show.

Marcus seeks us out as the afternoon program is preparing to begin. “Attie and Teri, I am glad to catch you, can we please talk?”

We go and find a place we can visit with some privacy. He says, he’d like us to be photographed in more of his designs for teens and college women. He says, “Please if you sign any contracts or agree to work exclusively with anyone. I encourage you to reserve the right to choose two to four shows on your own and to reserve the right to do other photo shoots. You are fresh talents and there are designers like Aurei and myself who want you to keep some independence. We want you free to grow and change. You have too much raw talent and energy to be cast into anybody’s cookie-cutter mold at this time in your career.”

The conversation is much more of a conversation as it continues. Marcus got Aurei on his phone and she agrees with what he has said. We will see her tonight at the gala, along with Marcus. They are putting in an appearance there and several other gatherings during the evening.

Once we’re finished talking with Marcus, we are both emotionally drained and go back to our rooms. I would give a lot to have help taking off my makeup and getting ready for a nap. We planned a thirty-minute power nap, but my sister was the first one to wake an hour and a half later. “Get up and get dressed, Teri. We need to get dressed and eat a salad or something.”

“I hope Aubrey or Ms. Briggs isn’t upset with us for missing the afternoon session. I knew Jan did really well with her first two changes.” Attie, “With no thanks to us.” Attie reminds me to use brighter makeup.

Attie has a vitamin pill out to take, but I take it instead, to see if she notices. Attie returns to see it missing and gets upset, “You know better Teri; it is for my complexion. That is the third one I less than ten days. You know they’re meant for women to help our complexions. You weren’t to be taking them.”

I said, “The doctor didn’t give me a prescription because she said it wasn’t enough to help me. I did it more to tease you.”

Attie says, “Well it’s annoying and three begins to cut into my number of pills. Plus with how you’ve changed your diet, I think you’re wanting help to look more girly. I’m not sure, but it may be working.” Attie stares at me, “If you ask me your emotions and conversations seem to keep you in girl mode even when we’re not modeling. I hope you’re talking to Mom about what you’re doing.”

We’re in the restaurant’s main dining room and I’m happy as we change the discussion. Mom and our sister are coming. It is surprising to see that Halley Roberts is already here. Her hands shoot to her face, “Oh Teri you are so adorable.”

Mom reminds her, “She is a model; I’d use ‘beautiful or very pretty’. ‘Adorable’ I think is for a younger girl.”

Halley says, “You’re right, they’re both young women and as a teen, I’d have disliked that too. Teri and Attie have you continued to have a good day?”

I share, “We both met with Marcus the clothes designer. He’d like us to model in a photo shoot. He said, if we signed a contract, we shouldn’t lock ourselves in without options. I.e. like being able to model in photo shoots for him and Aurei. We’d be happy to do it for either, but we enjoyed being with him.”

She says, “Did your mother know you were talking with him?”

Attie says, “No, it just kind of happened. It was a nice visit as Teri said.” Halley looks to our Mom like they think there is more to it. Attie asks, “What are you thinking, we should act like little girls and ask permission?” Attie figures whatever it is and says, “Yes, Teri thinks like me she’s my twin sister when we’re like this.”

I blush as they thought of me looking at Marcus as a girl. “Mom, I’m a teenager and I’m a girl when we’re modeling.”

Mom steps next to me and gives me a hug. “You don’t mind him seeing you as a girl?”

“Mom, he probably already knows. He would for sure if we modeled for him.”

We’re back in the auditorium before the evening show begins and we applaud for Jan, Constance and a model name Sierra. She is not from our group, but we like her style. She and Jan both are exceptional in connecting with the audience. The evening session goes until 9:00. We wait, pretty sure Jan will be invited as one of those to model tomorrow.

The evening host comes back to the stage, “We’ve named eight to model tomorrow in the national and world gala division. They are: “Jan Coffman…” third model “Sierra Huntress”… They had just named the sixth model. “We’ve dipped into the morning session and are inviting Attie and Teri Slade to model tomorrow.”

We erupt out of hysteria in the audience. Yes, others have suggested it, but it is so different to hear our names called. Girls and women around us are happy for us. Time and again we’re hearing those our age saying “Wow, awesome, great for you.” They’re asking for autographs on their program, some have signature pads and others are taking selfies with us. I feel myself tingling like a girl; I know Hattie has similar feelings probably stronger.

Marcus finds us, “Wear my dresses tonight and tomorrow and they are yours to keep.”

Attie says, “You’re expecting us to wear the same dress tonight and tomorrow?”

Marcus says in response, “Of course not, I thought each of you had one of my skirt/blouse outfits along with the dresses.”

Aurei says, “Nothing doing, if they wear yours tonight, they should wear one of mine, preferably one they model tomorrow.”

Attie says, “You two agree and we’ll be happy to do it.” I ask, “Aurei, can Jan wear your gown that she modeled tonight?”

Aurei asks, “Can my young friends Kent and Roger escort and dance with you tonight. If you go out later they will be more than excited to be your escorts and pay for the evening.”

We didn’t see Aubrey until we heard her talk, “Hurry up to your room and I’ll help you get ready…”

To be continued…

Terrance jumped at modeling with his sister... Now he's caught up being a model... The Slade Sisters are caught up in a mystique of their own creation..

The Host, Mister Daniel Blessing, asks us up on stage and then asks, “What’s your first reaction to being asked to model tomorrow?” Attie responds, “We turned and hugged each other, and then we pinched the butt of the other. Since we both felt a pinch, we knew it was not a dream. But it is still unbelievable.”

I said, “I’m so grateful to be named. I thought Cyndi Tigress and others had done especially well this evening. Being named instead of them comes as a great compliment to how well we must have done modeling.” Marietta Loos is one of the judges. We can see her affirming my judgment.

“You are quite right; it was no easy decision, and it is very unusual to find two models closely related and evenly matched in looks and the professionalism you displayed in modeling. I do wish we had extended the full ten possible invitations. We felt advancing three from this morning's contest, however, might have the event and the quality of tomorrow’s group in the eyes of others.”

Judge Mason Williams said, “There were five in the running for the remaining two, and we could only narrow it down to three. Ultimately, we decided to cut the invitations off at eight.”

A reporter asked, “Why didn’t the fact that one of these two is either a boy or a transgendered girl not discount them?”

Marietta said, “If that would be true or if she was modeling with that cloud over her, and she did so well. Well, the judges considered, either way, she rose above the pressure and was better as a model for it.”

We are back up to our room with Aubrey’s help, getting ready to go to the reception. Our room is up on the twelfth floor, but there’s a drone outside our windows. Aubrey quickly begins pinning curtains shut, suggesting someone is trying to get our pictures. Eva pushed me into a shower and told me not to come out until Mom said. The suite is quickly secure, and I am refreshed and dressed.

“Momma, what if Hattie and I both wear Marcus’ dresses without our bras.”

Hattie turns to Mom, “Mom, I know we’re young, but as models, it’s a great idea.” It is not as dramatic as it sounds. Aubrey uses button extensions of three to six inches. We’re barely showing anything.

The dresses we change into are multicolored satin, and we come off looking like 20-year-olds with how Aubrey works our hair, makeup, and jewelry. We are announced upon our arrival to those who are listening. Jan is one of our best supporters, and she seems happy to share the night with us. Being in one of Aurei’s gowns sets her off as someone special. When Aurei comes to our gala, she is happy to see how Jan looks in her gown. Attie and I are tickled to see her and many others that we consider very special. Marcus arrives ten minutes after Aurei.

The extensions for the open front of our gowns are part of his design. He had even considered that with the dresses he had sent for us to wear.

It is fun to have Kent and Roger as our escorts and to dance with them as they’re both nineteen. Mom said we couldn’t go out dancing when the celebration here ended. Roger came up with the idea that we duck out after 11:30 and be back before we’re missed. It was not his fault that our mother wanted to introduce us to someone shortly after midnight. Attie enjoyed the time dancing while dancing as a girl, and with Roger, it was all new and very exciting for me. However, dancing with a boy did feel fairly weird. Hattie and I were pretty sure he didn’t realize I was a boy.

Mom was angry that we had gone out without her knowledge.

We had missed our first opportunity to meet George Goldfarb of Maurice’s. Lisa Harper of Belk seemed enthused to see us. Our Lawyer

Halley Roberts comes back with Mr. Goldfarb. They’re offering a contract that would tie us to Maurice’s in the Midwest and Belk out of the Carolinas for the next eighteen to twenty-four months. Marcus says, “Aurei and I will be free to contract with you for photo shoots. We are designing three more dresses or outfits for youth that we want you to model in the coming year.”

Halley says, “Tomorrow, you will be paid the rate of $300/hr, with a minimum of four hours. You be ready to meet reporters as early as 7:30 in the morning. You will be part of the opening Parade of Models and Fashion, which begins at 10:00 a.m. After that, you will each model a minimum of five times during the day. If you model over five outfits, it means the judges have given you very favorable scores.”

Attie says, “That shouldn’t be very difficult as both Mason Williams and Maria Loos already are our fans.”

Mom gets our attention by saying, “Tomorrow’s judges will all be new and likely harder in their scoring, as this is for professional models of national and world-class quality.”

I agree with Attie, “We need not worry. We have already exceeded expectations.”

Lisa Harper says, “You do not want to relax yet; you need to show that you are worthy of being extended a special invitation. Whether you’re motivated by money, the accolades of your peers, or as a model, you should motivate yourselves to do as well as you can. The clothes will be worthy of being shown in New York City.” Lisa asks, “Have you seen my gown, the Blue Angel Ascending?”

My mouth drops open as I have, but I’m speechless. Attie’s the cool one saying, “We know and have dreamt of wearing it why?”

“One of you will wear that, and the other a new creation being shown the first time here.” Lisa says, “You two need to run along and get as much sleep as possible.”

Constance comes up to make sure the gowns are properly taken care of. With makeup remover and my skin-care products, I take a quick shower. Even sleeping here, I stay in girl mode. As a teen girl, I’m lying awake picturing what I or Attie might look like in Harper’s Blue Angelic dress. Sadly, we both conclude it will be better for Attie, but then I wonder about Lisa’s other dress. A vivid picture comes to mind it is a flowing gown of a red dress with chiffon tooling of red, yellow, and… I wake up from the vision, realizing I’m wearing it with four-inch platform shoes.

I must have made a noise as Attie looked over at me from her bed. “What’s up, Teri?” I told her of my dream. She, too, had thought she would look best in the blue dress. She was both excited for me and worried about how I would react. We get up and role-play our modeling of the dresses. Attie is the one who came up with this neat idea of me coming from the back of the hall, and she down the runway and our meeting at the end of the runway. Both gowns are described and given full treatment.

We love the idea but know it would be unlikely to show them off that way. The critics would take away from one gown or both that way. A designer would not want the criticism to take away from either gown.

Attie asks me, “Teri, are you as giddy as I am? We’re two of the luckiest girls. I almost wished our classmates knew we’re the Slader Sisters.”

We’re kind of sisters, but not. I tell her, “I’m scared, I don’t want to mess up. I’m afraid of being clumsy, and Terrance discovered in a dress and looking like a silly boy.”

Attie calls me to her bed, tapping it next to her. “I’ll watch after you; you’ll be good. Tomorrow, we’re sisters enjoying ourselves, we’ve practiced for this too many times. Tomorrow, maybe Mom will allow us to go to dinner tomorrow night with Roger and Kent. That’s if we do well.”

I say, “But I’m not a girl, I shouldn’t.”

Attie’s looking me directly in the eye, “But Teri likes being out with Roger, doesn’t she?” I don’t answer her. “You don’t have to kiss him in public. And you can justify being out with him as part of Teri’s image. When you’re my our other girlfriends, I know you daydream, like, what if I were one of the other girls? You see yourself as a girl, and that didn’t just start.”

I want to argue and deny it, but Attie and I both know it’s true.

Neither remembered when we fell asleep, but it was 5:00 a.m. when we were awoken by a call from Aubrey, another from Mom. It was no trouble to wake up as we were excited for today. Teri’s voice is now automatic, but Terrance’s voice isn’t, and I tell Attie. “Don’t worry about it, Teri, your body is just so focused on modeling. Let’s focus on modeling, and tonight, we can worry about Terrance’s voice. You’re still my brother first.”

We’re down to the restaurant, and it’s open early. All either of us get is some yogurt and fruit. Mom gets each of us a power bar for later. We were ready for an early interview as Aubrey went all out, making us up and doing our hair. The outfits are supposedly like the ones we will model today, but not the same. Aubrey says they’ll do a survey right after the interview to measure viewer reaction. The dresses we’ll model are to go into production soon after this fashion show and before their national showing in the Big Apple. We are one of three shows that their popularity will be measured.

Lisa Harper is ahead of us on our show, and we come out modeling two of her creations. They are pretty and people like us and the dresses. We look like the fifteen-year-old twins that we are. We’re elated with the reaction of the crowd.

We’re asked by Florence Triers of her Chicago-based show, “Isn’t Teri’s quandary over gender identity kind of childish?”

Attie says, “What’s childlike is our dream of being here. Teri and I, since we were five, dreamt and pretended things like this. We’d both get into our mom’s or older sister's stuff and pretend we were showing ourselves off.”

“I wasn’t as girly as Attie except when it came to dressing up and pretending about a day like today.”

Florence, our interviewer, says, “You’ve been teasing those watching you flirting with two images that have people guessing whether you’re a girl or a boy. And now you’re indicating Teri’s a shy Tomboy who suddenly can walk a fashion runway before thousands of people and hundreds of thousands of viewers.”

“I am the shy one of us two, but on days like today, I focus on doing the small details of modeling. And I can speak and walk in front of cameras and audiences. It’s because I know it’s the beautiful clothes I wear that people are watching. If I don’t do a good job modeling, you’ll soon be onto others, and I’ll probably become worse.”

Lisa quickly says, “I can vouch that in working with them, they are two regular teen girls. It’s a joy to work with girls so eager. Their sponsors did well in bringing them here and giving them a chance to model before larger-than-usual crowds here in Indianapolis. It’s a big thing for them, and I dare say they have bigger days ahead.”

Florence says, “Isn’t that because of the mystique of the hype created around them.”

“The unique hype, as you say,” Lisa’s emotions are building, “is that here you have twins. They look alike and are fairly pretty, which is not that unusual. They both model and relate to the audience so well, which is what professionals and the average viewer are excited about. I, for one find their joy as girls and discipline as models touch people in ways that draw their interest.”

All the nice things being said while being in front of TV cameras is causing me to fidget. I’m afraid if we’re on longer, I will need to go to the women’s room. Going to a commercial, and I run to find a restroom. The men’s restroom was twenty -five feet closer, but I never considered it. And I missed the plea of the woman behind the curtain to use the show’s toilet way closer than the other two.

It takes added time and trouble to work through the clothes so I could pee and all the more work in getting back together. Thankfully, Lisa had another set of outfits for us to change into. My hair was changed to a fancy ponytail to go along with the simplicity of the skirt and ensemble.

A young toddler made her way onto the set and to me as I finished. People after the toddler caused her to cry, and I picked her up and would not let her be taken until she was happy.

That, for me meant they needed to allow her embarrassed mom to come up out of the audience. Little Tiffany quieted herself in my arms and became clingy. Her mom, Jenny Mathis says, “If she’s not a girl, then Teri would be the first boy she warmed up like this.” We could not have asked for better publicity. I had stayed true to showing off the outfit, and caring for Tiffany is a blessing.

There comes a request to only me for another interview. Automatically, I say, No. Attie assures me, “It’s going to happen Teri, and you might as well do it.”

“No, Attie, part of my chemistry is with you. I’m not changing things this morning!”

Lisa tugged at me and we were soon out of there. Lisa says, “I agree with Teri; this morning, you need to keep focus on the tasks at hand. This is not the time to be changing things.” She says, “Marcus wants the two of you waiting until the third change, and you’re engulfed in modeling before he’ll have one of his outfits ready for you. Secondly, after that will be my red gown for Attie and my new one for you, Teri Slader.”

I said, “Is it red with yellow, green, and orange chiffon tooling?”

“You’ve seen a glimpse of it, but not a great look.”

Monique has the first dress and the next for Attie to wear. Aubrey is focusing on me. My first outfit for the fashion show is a long slender, three-quarter-length dress. I am glad that Aubrey and Jan have had us model many different outfits. This is more restraining than most, but I have enough time backstage to refine my steps and turn in it. My natural breasts plus a padded bra give me a very feminine look. It is the first time I am going before my sister.

The dress seems more to the liking of some college and professional women, which is surprising to me. The scarf around my neck is helpful as I present three different looks at the end of the runway. The bright flashing of lights and cameras is already a bit much. I fear a headache before the end of the show.

It was like they thought they should make a dramatic contrast as the next outfit is one of Harpers’ from Belk, an outfit with the shortest miniskirt I have ever worn. I had to change out of my boy shorts and panty. I change to a brief panty, but it can’t be a full brief, or it would show over the top of the skirt. Aubrey is coaching me all the while about how I should present the outfit as well as me. I wear an anklet and short dressy boots with a 2 ½ inch heel. Bracelets on both wrists and an oversized pendant necklace. The makeup is colorful, and it makes my hair look windblown. I say to Aubrey as I step back in line, “I want a picture of me in this outfit.”

Attie agrees that I need to see myself in the outfit. “Terri, see if it can be one of your keepers.”

The applause and reaction of the audience said it is a crowd pleaser that spans most demographics.

I thought it was to be the third change after we started, but it is now that I’m to wear Marcus’ dress. My average stature lends itself well to the dress. The slits up both sides are open, and I am asked to put a bounce into my steps. It is presented as a fancy dress for a fun night on the town. Among other things being said, I hear, “One couldn’t help having fun out of the town with Teri in this outfit.”

Soon, I’m wearing Aurei’s gown and this time, Attie will be wearing her red gown before me. My gown leaves the green to the dress, which is covered by red, yellow, and peach chiffon and flowing cords. The top and skirt of the green dress show a lot of tummy and waist. The yellow and peach chiffon are beautifully revealing, she says. How Aurei ever came up with this design and colors is unimaginable to me, but it all flows beautifully together. I knew where Aurei was out in the audience, and I sneaked a look at her face as I made my turns and pauses.

I was previously told she doesn’t respond to the presentation of her designs, but she is making an exception here. If the audience is a good barometer, it will be well received both by high fashion and popular spin-offs.

The sixth outfit for me is another Marcus design, and the seventh, being set out, looks to be a Harper gown for a formal night out. The change in makeup, hair, and accessories is greater with the last two changes as well. Ms Briggs says we will be done with a good third of the program to continue.

True to our original intent, we quickly change to fashionable clothes and go to watch Jan and the national and world models. Watching the subtle and not-so-subtle differences between these models is quite humbling for us, yet amazing to see. They are not only lessons in being a model but in being a woman.

I’m in the audience, sitting next to my father. I am caught off guard as he says, “You’re not going to be able to walk away from this, are you?” My father paused, and I looked over at him, not knowing what or how to respond. He whispers, “I love you, son, but I do realize, as Teri, you’re two leaps ahead of your peers. I think it is time you know you have my support.” He pauses again before saying, “More importantly, we love you.”

Several models act as divas behind the curtains. I can see how it is frustrating for their workers, yet now I have an appreciation of how their insistence pays dividends. There was one renowned model that I thought was way out of bounds and acted more like a spoiled brat. Mom whispers to Hattie and me, “Don’t judge, wait and see how you do if you ever get a third as busy. Indianapolis is big to you, but it’s not even close to Chicago to her, let alone New York, London, or Paris.”

Jan had told us earlier, “The model felt she was being punished, forced to come here.” Something about paying some extra dues for something she did.

During a break, Mom asks, “Have you two found people you’re interested in meeting?”

Attie said, “Yes, but one of them is the same boy, we think he must be older in high school.”

Mom said, “I meant people of note… like Bill Blass. I don’t think you should take an interest in boys, especially on the road. And Terrance, not at all.”

We said, “Dah, we are into fashion Ma. Besides Blass, most of the others are dead or old.” Attie says, “Mom, you and Dad need to realize when he’s Teri, she’s a she. Yes, he likes girls better, but you two need to cool it or walk off and leave Teri and me alone.”

I see the guy walking our way with his sister and her friends. The girls, seeing us, stop to talk. Stacy is Ryan’s sister; she and the other girls are our age or a year older. Ryan is two years older and required by his parents to bring the girls and watch them. “You two are foxes; we can’t believe you’re from Indiana.”

Leesha says, “Nowhere can we find it saying where in Indiana?”

I ask Ryan, “You didn’t seem too bored in the audience.” Stacy screeches, “You noticed my brother?” I responded that we noticed you as a group and saw you a few times.”

Ryan says, “It wasn’t bad, with all the women to see. I talked with Attie; we got dessert at the buffet table once, but I’m sure she didn’t notice me.”

“You know very well, I remembered you,” said Attie.

I say, “You didn’t tell me you met him.”

Stacy asks, “Will we see you parading with other gowns to the gathering tonight?”

I say, “It’s really for the adult models. Plus, neither of us has escorts. If I got to wear anything special, I’d hope it would be the second outfit I modeled.”

Stacy says, “If my brother got a tux, could he escort one of you?”

Mom spoke up, “Eva has some friends in for tonight; maybe we could find a nice coat and slacks for one of them.” Mom turned to Eva, who was texting someone. Eva looked up, “We have a winner, Johnson, Chris Johnson is willing to go. He’s a sophomore. He says the fashion industry is another part of his business world. He’s planning on renting a good evening jacket and some slacks. He suggests the other guy do something similar.” Mom sends Ryan with Father while Mom takes us up to get dressed and wait.

Attie says she stakes a claim on Ryan, and I can be with Eva’s friend Chris. Eva, as our sister and agent, says, “Martinez is escorting me. She calls him Michael, not Miguel. He is a fourth-generation citizen, though he is often stopped to show immigration documentation.

Here I am, getting dressed up in an outfit I modeled earlier and being escorted by someone four years older. Eva shows me his picture. Chris is very cute in a guy kind of way. I call for my mom, “Mom, I’m nervous. I can’t believe I’m doing this as a girl with one of Eve’s guy friends.”

Calmly, Mom says, “This is one of the things you’ll have to get used to as long as you model and portray yourself as a young model.”

“You’re hinting I should make it known that I’m a boy.”

Mom says, “Even if they learn that if you model in women’s fashions, your social life won’t change much. Ms. Briggs says there will still be a mystique caught up in you modeling women’s fashions.

“Right now, you need to understand this. Chris is a red-blooded guy, and you are seen by him as an attractive girl. I expect him to behave, but both of you could get caught up in the moment.”

I’m appalled that my mother feels the need to say it. “Mom, I can’t believe what you’re implying.”

Mom giggles, “Your dad just messaged me, “We’re making their way to the ballroom on the second floor. You two are to meet us there… We’ll talk about the evening and how you fare later.” Mom takes a picture of Attie and me. Eva meets us at the elevator; Mom takes Stacy and friends to get pictures of our entrance. I’m now five-seven, and with three-inch heels, I’m five-ten. Attie’s an inch taller.

My father points me out to Chris; without hesitation, he walks to me, takes my hand, and then kisses me on the cheek. He whispers, “Your father says you need to relax and enjoy your time in the spotlight.”

Chris presents his arm to me, and Aubrey hands me a card to give upon entering the hall. She says the opening reception continues another half-hour before the evening officially begins. Chris takes a moment to have a slow dance with me. Chris is an excellent dancer, and I have no trouble following his lead. Being close, face to face, and moving slowly becomes a personal problem for me. And I am becoming excited as Teri…

Story to be continued…

Teri and Attie along with getting to be at the celebration at the end of the fashion show, wanted to go out as teen girls. Their parents said, “No.” Attie requested, “Ryan call your sisters and tell them to go up to my parents’ room, then call your parents and say you won’t be home until morning… I’ll tell my parents we’re staying down here until it’s done.”

Ryan picked up Attie and swung her around, “Yes, yes! Chris said he knows the city.” They were looking to see where Teri and Chris were. They all went through a hallway past the restrooms. When they were sure they were unseen, they continued to leave the hotel. Eva text Attie, Michael and I are in his vehicle in front of the next building.

Teri needed to scoot in tightly, sitting on Chris’ lap as Michael drove off. Michael says, “Wow, you girls were good in your show. I wouldn’t have enjoyed any of this if I didn’t know Eva. But you made it enjoyable. I can’t think of any high school girls able to pull off how well you did.” Our sister gave him a big kiss.

Chris agreed and gave me a big hug and kiss. I could tell he was excited to be with me and despite being a guy myself, I liked his show of affection. I knew nothing would come of it, except I now like being attractive as a girl. We went to a place we could dance and weren’t carded for being too young. Eva said it was because the place liked the notoriety of our being there. Pictures were taken by a news person. I had a wine glass when she first saw me but by the time she took her first picture, but it was actually Pepsi that landed in the newspaper. Erica the reporter, and photographer would become friends.

Erica said she knew who we were and suggested we soon tell some others starting with our classmates. Our night went until 1:30. My parents had Madi and Polly already asleep in an adjoining room. Ryan would sleep there on the floor. Eva stayed with her friends after hugging the stuffing out of us. I stayed in the second bed next in our parents and Hattie slept in with two of Chris’ sisters.

Mom and Dad made a point of telling me my lips had been kissed. After that nothing was said, except, “Get to sleep, and for now we’ll focus on the fantastic weekend you had.”

Getting up by 6:00 and on the road quickly, we were home changed and to school before morning classes ended. Principal Andersen greeted us, “I guess your identity is known by a number of girls. So far they’re not saying anything, neither am I?” She drew me aside, “Terrance, you might want to use the restroom here in the office area and check makeup that should not be there.”

I said, “Thanks.” And did as suggested. Other than that the school day was normal except the attention we’re receiving from a growing number of girls.

Not all who know are accepting that I could be Teri. Some think I was involved with the misperception. They thought there had to be some girl who looked like Hattie that did the modeling. They asked about cousins or other relatives. We didn’t do much to persuade people to believe one way or another.

With two and a half weeks until the prom and five weeks to the end of the school year. Hattie received a late invitation to the prom from Matt Bond. His close friend Josh was lacking a date to take. It was Hattie and Matt pleading with my parents that caused me to go as Teri with Josh. I didn’t get as fantastic of a gown as Hattie. Mine was beautiful in its simplicity. The manager of the store was impressed with my knowing how to carry myself. That was until she recognized me as a model.

She was then upset that I was not buying a more extravagant gown. She became defensive when neither my mother nor I appreciated how I was being treated. She offered us, “I’ll let you wear one of our more expensive gowns if you’d rent it for half its price?” Needless to say, I was very tempted until my mother spoke up. “You would allow us to pay more than your cost of a gown; so that you could advertise having her prom gown, I don’t think so.”

Mom gave me a tug and we were out of that store when I asked. “Where are we going?”

Mom said if we hurry we should have the afternoon to shop at Ft. Wayne. We arrived by 1:00 p.m. and by 4:00 p.m. we had it narrowed to three gowns. My mother thought only two were proper for a fifteen-year-old girl. While I thought Mom was more lenient with Hattie, I finally choose one I loved; the sky blue gown with matching tooling and silver sequins.

Mom had already called my father earlier and had Hattie come with him. She decided we would stay overnight and enjoy a late dinner together. Hattie had brought the gown I chose to keep from our first fashion show. Mom decided to treat the weekend as a celebration for all that we had been through. We had a family time to ourselves without any attention. Fortunately, there had been two weddings in the city and there was no shortage of women nicely dressed. We passed for just another three of the many.

We ate at a very fancy restaurant and had a very enjoyable time. When we returned to the hotel, the bride from the reception there was returning to the ballroom for her wedding reception. It was her teenage sister, Ariel was who recognized us. Christine, the bride, invited us, “If you and your parents don’t mind neither Trent nor my side of the family has a shortage of guys, along with friends from his college. We could use a few more for our fair sex to be in attendance.”

Attie and I were a few of the young women who hadn’t been in heels all day so our feet and legs were fresh to dance. After a few dances, we sat down and got into conversations with some young women. Most were very nicely dressed, wanting to talk about fashion. They appreciated our knowing how nice their dresses were. We soon found ourselves in a group of many women dancing together. When it slowed down most of the girls were quickly partnering with guys who came and asked. Ariel did not wait to be one of them and asked me to dance with her. Truthfully, I first saw it as Terrance dancing with her. When she took lead, I was gently surprised that I enjoyed it being just the two of us.

Ariel says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I know who you are Teri. I know the mystic an about you as a model.” I expected she was going to ask me, which was true; my being a girl or boy. Instead, she said, “Either way I find you attractive. I hope you don’t mind. I just like to be upfront about it.”

I was caught by surprise but found her manner as comforting. We enjoyed our time dancing. “I hope you don’t mind if I’m not as forthcoming. Truthfully, I’m not so sure about me either. But then I’ve never been seriously dating with anyone a boy or girl.” Ariel smiles and we enjoy our time together until people are invited to dance with either of the couples.

I got my purse to offer five dollars for the dance. Ariel pulls me into the line of people to dance with Christine. Ariel says, “You might as well be in this line, your sister is in the other. Besides, it was Christine who invited you. Christine is the one who is going to know and remember you. …By the way don’t you love her gown? She had a seamstress' hand make and fit it.”

I took extra note of her gown as we waited. I also learned that Ariel a senior in high school lives outside of Ft. Wayne in my direction. By now, I had my own cell for Teri and I exchanged numbers and more with her.

Finally, it was my turn to dance with Christine. I was impressed that she remembered me. She smiled, “It seems you two fit in well with our party. I see you’ve become acquainted Ariel as well. Our conversation was short as Ariel soon cut in.

Before the couple left for the night, there was the throwing of the garter and of the flowers. We were pressed to take part. I didn’t mind as I would not be reaching for the bouquet. It was funny to be in a group of girls and young women waiting for it.

She was to throw it on the count of three. Just as three was being said, I was pushed forward by Ariel and my sister, on both sides of me. I stumbled forward and automatically reached for the flowers as they came toward us. I caught the bouquet and took them and I immediately went to sit down. I was surprised as Brett’s family comes from the east where there is a tradition. The catcher of the garter belt, I’m told is to put it on my leg of the maiden who caught the flowers. It was done as a good omen for the couple. Then the man and I were to dance.

I was escorted to sit on a chair in a circle of people. Marc was the person who caught the garter stood just over six feet tall and was handsome. He looked to be twenty-one and here I am only getting close to sixteen. Apart from modeling and the times my ego runs away with me, I am quite shy. I was shaking as Marc takes off my high heel shoe. The gleaming white garter with red roses is in his hands. One hand is at the bottom of my foot sliding back to my heel and the other over the front of my foot to my ankle. When his hands touched my legs I became worried about how excited I was becoming. I didn’t want to be a poor sport, neither did I want to embarrass myself nor others. Marc was up to the top of my calf muscle when he paused with my request. He assured me that I was doing well, but I feared I had reached the limit of controlling my own body.

My Mom and Christine both stepped forward. I could see Christine mouth, ‘It’s okay to stop.’ Then she said it to Marc, “Marcus, I think Teri needs for this to stop.” I was so relieved.

Marc asked, “Please let me go just above the knee; I assure her I won’t do anything to embarrass her.”

I had taken some deep breaths and reached for Christine’s hand as she knelt at my side. I asked her, “Christine, could I have a sip of water to collect my composure?” Christine’s smile was warm, “You don’t need to continue. You have done fine and I am very appreciative.”

I said to her, “If you let me have a moment to compose myself, I will be okay. I’d like the chance to do this. We are a week from our 16th birthday, I am a big girl so to speak.” My Mom gave me a sip of champagne thinking it was water. She too was nervous for me. I said, “Mom, would it be okay if I lifted my dress to where I am comfortable. If so I am sure I will be okay.”

It was the concern of Christine and my Mom that allowed me to know I could stop or control the next moment. Marc was ready to stop, but one hand was still in anticipation of putting on the decorative garter belt.

“Marc let me lift the skirt of my gown to where I am comfortable.” With that, I reached the bottom of my dress, where his hands had gone out of sight. I lifted the dress to the top of my knee and back another four inches. I giggled, “That better make yourself content because it will not go any further than what you see.” He lifted the garter in place for a photo and jokingly threatened more before he took it back off.

Christine hugged me, whispering, “You are one of the bravest young men I know.” I responded in her ear, “Also a young girl at heart.” We hugged and exchanged air kisses.

Marc and I had slow music to dance to and here I was in the arms of a handsome man. He talked as we danced, his breath was going over my ear. I found my dance with Marc exciting me once again. After we finished, Hattie gave me a difficult time as she knew the dance with Marc had its impact on me.

Hattie and I saw our parents talking to a woman and a man earlier at the reception and we were briefly introduced to them and now before we headed to our rooms for the night. Once back to our rooms Dad said, “We’d like to talk to you about the opportunity to do something good for someone else for a change.” We looked at each other, like what?

Dad said, “I hope you heard Mr. Stuartt’s a surgeon, and well Mrs. Rhodes introduced him to us later. There’s going to be a benefit for a young girl who needs surgery but insurance and Social Security Disability are both saying it’s not covered by them. During this benefit, they would be trying to auction off various things to raise some hefty money for a Jayne Johnson.”

We’re listening, but Dad sounds like he’s already expecting us to say ‘no’. “All they’re asking is for each of you to model one outfit. It may feel like they’re asking a lot of you with all you have going on. But we really think you should be willing to do something for someone else.”

Hattie finally interrupts him, “Dad! We don’t have a problem with it. It’s just that we do know when what we’re to be modeling and to respond saying yes!” I ask, “If we’re doing it. Why just one outfit. Maybe Marcus or Lisa of Belk would be willing to contribute something special.”

Our parents explained, Jayne’s medical problems and shows us pictures of her with some of the contraptions and braces she has to wear. It is a skeletal deformity that has already required surgeries and now has a major surgery to put her back together with a long rehabilitation with various devices to help with the change. It was hard for us to believe what Doctor Stuart said. ‘Supposedly she would be able to have a normal teen life if the surgeries are successful as he had suggested.’

I say, “I don’t think either of us has a problem with helping to raise funds for her. I just think they should be upfront with her and give her realistic ideas of what’s likely to be the result.” I guess Stuartt had some pictures of other patients that our parents bought into.

Well, the fundraiser was this coming Saturday in Fort Wayne, which meant what dresses we were to model needed to be quickly selected. Hattie and I would have to hurry and decide what accessories we had or needed.

I guess we put Marcus and Lisa on a spot by offering the possibility of special items for the auction. Getting dresses to us takes time, but to be able to have outfits the correct size for giving away is way more demanding. The accessories as well as our hair and makeup. That is along with two gowns we would model given by highly rated dress shops in Ft. Wayne. One concession, we did say no to each of us modeling lingerie.

Being high school students, we have the regular year-end reports due and tests to be taken. Hattie’s friends are a little upset that we took on another project. We were to go out with them on Friday night with a group of guys. Jamie had guys that were going to take us out to a dance. Mom had already complained I was dancing with too many boys as it were.

Mom talked Tuesday night with me, “Terrance isn’t it enough that you’re modeling as a girl. Jamie shouldn’t be lining updates for you with boys.”

“Mom, we were dancing with boys during the weekend and the week before.” I say, “The boys here should at least know I’m another boy. They just like getting their picture with a good looking girl, especially a model.”

Mom says, “You said the ‘boys should know’ do you mean there are some you plan on dancing with, who do not?”

Hattie says, “Nice going, Teri…” “Mom it’s just that we were baiting some guys from Haddonfield to come here. Marcy wants to get her boyfriend jealous because he’s kind of been cheating as well as taking Marcy for granted.”

Mom asks, “So Terrance was to be cute little Teri. And Marcy and was going to date another one of the hunks. What were you going to do if guys from the two towns got into a fight or some jealous girl from there came over and was upset with Teri?”

Hattie begins to giggle uncontrollably. “That’s funny Mom, Teri being in a girl fight. It would be embarrassing if Teri lost the fight. Don’t worry, I will protect my little sister.”

I yell, “I’m five foot seven now!” Hattie speaks up, “And I’m now five foot eight now little sister.”

I said, “Not fair, I thought the boys are usually taller.”

Mom said, “Quite often but you’re living proof not always. It’s not fair but maybe it wouldn’t be the two of you modeling if Terrance was the taller one. They do prefer that you both get a little taller while staying lean.” We are not thin my models’ standards, but that too is supposed to be what people like about us. Most models wear size 0 while Attie’s a size two and I’m now usually wearing sizes three or four. We do know how to wear and look good in the other’s clothes usually.

Wednesday, we had to make our second quick trip to Ft. Wayne, to try on our gowns. Both seamstresses had beautiful gowns of their own design and had altered them to fit us. Cora, the seamstress working with me is a delight and humorous. I didn’t always cooperate and she's very fastidious in the alterations with the gown. She finally got upset with me and after we were done apologized to me. Mom and I agreed it was me and not her that was improper. Being disciplined in particular went along with the discipline she needed to have for such beautiful gowns.

Come Thursday, we have two dresses each from Lori and Marcus. Lori and Marcus had each sent two sizes of the same dress. Lori’s were a size two and size six and Marcus sent a size two and size eight. They were given with signed authentication from the designers which would bring much better offers. Hattie and I had practiced in our dresses at home.

Lori had suggested both of our dresses be modeled with extra flare when we showed them. Leah being home for the summer made sure we became a little more daring than usual. Mom wasn’t fully pleased but even Dad agreed with Leah’s ideas.

Despite being a weeknight, we and our friends got together with the guys from Haddonfield. I was partnered with a senior named Chad and Attie’s guy was named Jeremy. Grandma asked if their grandfathers’ were part of the British invasion. She laughed at us when we asked, what invasion was that?

Grandma wanted to give me her mother’s hat pin in case I needed it when we went out. When she explained how a woman might use one to protect herself I giggled. I did decide it could be a nice hair decoration, so she gave it to me. I had to promise to give it to one of my children someday or to one of my sisters.

Grandma Reed had come for her regular two-week visit and would be going with us to the benefit in Ft. Wayne tomorrow and Saturday night. I’m kind of glad that she is joking around with me. She and I had grown apart the last few years.

Well, back to tonight and our time out with the guys from Haddonfield. We went over to Jamie’s and from there we became the group that met the guys. We went out to eat pizza and then returned to Morgan’s house which is big and spacious. It was chosen because Marcy’s boyfriend lives next door.

Ironically Chad was in the midst of problems with a girlfriend and actually asked I do something to leave my mark on him. It didn’t take much listening to him to realize he just lacked the ability to talk with girls in general. And I wasn’t changing him in one night. My suggestion was he was to make up with her and use the summer learning from her what she and other girls liked to do. I painted both of his pinkie fingernails and gave him a note he was to give to his girlfriend at school.

I later heard it caused a rash of Haddonfield girls to put polish on their boyfriends’ fingernails. The first thing they wanted was for their boyfriends to take them someplace they liked. I got a note from Haley. She wrote, “He had to drive me thirty miles to the closest good oriental restaurant. There was no TV in the whole place, he actually relaxed and talked with me. This might have been my best preparation yet for going to college.”

School the next day wasn’t easy as I was tired most of the morning. I went to school as Terrance and had to pack to leave for the benefit after school. Jamie and Morgan decided to come to Ft. Wayne to attend the benefit. Their moms also wanted to see us model. Their dads and mine were out golfing at first light.

The four of us Jamie, Morgan, Attie and I as Teri enjoyed staying up late and sleeping later. Well, Attie and I had 9:00 a.m. salon appointments. Cora was there; she wanted to make sure Bonnie put in hair extensions and gave me the full treatment in getting ready for tonight. I’d either need to attend school next week as Teri or chance damaging my hair before the prom by taking out the extensions and curls. I threatened my mom against taking any pictures less one get back to Ms. Briggs.

Those I model for would love me to have long hair that was styled better. I forgot to threaten Grandma, but she would only have laughed if I did. Dr. Stuartt had a young assistant who took Attie and me out for lunch. We got to eat with two women who were now actresses and internet personalities. Andi has over two million viewers on one of her sites. We’re told another actress formerly from Ft. Wayne would be at the benefit tonight.

There were some other famous people; I would have liked to meet but during the short time we had I was usually being kept in various groups of women. One woman who I thought was going to give me an air kiss, wrecked my makeup. It’s only saving grace was, Cora got me back to her dress studio. Several young women helping her and me did not seem much older than myself.

Alas, Ariel found me when we went over to the benefit facilities. I was dressed up in a corset when I had the need to relieve myself going to the toilet. Ariel was a big help though I was totally embarrassed to have it. It took a lot of effort to do what was needed and not spoil what others had done to me.

Once the program started it was fast moving with a conglomerate of introductions, auctions, entertainment as well as information on Jayne. Jayne is, in fact, fourteen and is excited about her upcoming surgeries. Seeing how far she had progressed from being a young girl, I too was now rooting and expecting the best for her.

Wearing a corset for Cora’s gown was a first for me and became one of my bigger joys in modeling to date. I had not originally told Cora when it was being tightened and I fainted. It caused a slight delay in my appearance, but everything was running at least five minutes late. I rather enjoyed how I looked all corseted up in the gown.

The next outfit, I got to wear Lori’s light pink summer evening gown. They were hoping it would bring a thousand dollars or more. I did not stop with their short runway but walked through a broad aisle and around a number of tables showing the dress too young professional women. Where Cora’s gown drew a bid a thousand above its appraised value. With two choices of Lori’s evening dress already there. When I mentioned, “Lori, the designer is an up and coming fashion designer. She has signed authentication for this dress. You can go to her website and see more dresses modeled by Attie, others and myself. A young actress from Ft. Wayne now living in New York City put up a bid of five thousand dollars. She stipulated her desire was for Attie and me to come to New York to attend an event with her there.

Another professional woman got up bidding five thousand five hundred with the stipulation I come to Boston. I soon found myself in the middle of a bidding war that ended at just under ten thousand dollars with Jenna winning. Jenna had suggested five hundred of that go to me for travel expenses. Mom and someone with the benefit agreed that my expenses were not part of that or any other bid.

Where we live a benefit would do well to raise hundreds of dollars maybe a thousand. Tonight’s auction and gifts raised over a hundred and seventy thousand dollars. Way more than anticipated. Our part ended up to be smaller than we had expected, but was a great eye-opening experience around people with money.

That I was totally immersed in being Teri was a big thing for me. My love for modeling grew immensely. Time with Jamie and Morgan seeing what Attie and I do was a treat for us. It took even more effort than I was accustomed to. Come, the end of the night, actually, the morning found me falling to sleep with Morgan on her bed.

When I woke up in the morning Morgan was on top kissing me. She told me I was the one who began kissing her. The way I was feeling I wouldn’t have doubted it. The good news was both of us were intact and the only things messed were our night clothes…

Story to be continued…

Time with Jamie and Morgan seeing what Attie and I do 24/7 as girls was a treat for us as well as them. It took even more effort than I was accustomed to. Come the end of the night or early hours of the morning found me falling to sleep with Morgan on her bed.

When I woke up in the morning Morgan was on top kissing me. She told me I was the one who began kissing and pawing her. The way I was feeling I wouldn’t have doubted it. The good news was both of us were intact and the only things messed were my nightclothes. I really did not mean to become sensual with her but I did love the softness of this friend and the fragrance that wrapped around her beautiful looks…=^_^=
Suddenly, I felt a need to be Terrance for some reason that I did not understand. But I only had one set of clothes for Terrance. I agonized before getting dressed and the others were already. My mother came to me, “Attie and the others tell me you are stressed over wanting to dress as Terry. Attie said, you only have one outfit as him, but that shouldn’t be a problem. It wouldn’t be the first time for Terry to wear the same clothes for thirty-six hours."

"The biggest problem would be your hair, but we can cut that back.” I hadn’t thought of my hair and suddenly I am protective of it because I really want it for the prom. I am back into the shower and shampoo my hair and condition it again. I’m brushing it out and ask my mother to help place it into a French braid. When finished, we go out to the others they’re surprised to see me continuing to be Teri. Jamie says, “As Teri, you should wear a pair of your own panty and jeans.”

Morgan says, “Most of my jeans wouldn’t fit right around your hips and buns.” Grabbing my hand she says, “Come,” into the room she's staying. She rummages through her luggage pulling two things out. A lacy pair of hot pink panties and a dark blue pair of designer jeans. “These are designed to snug you.” I needed to tuck my privates very well as I tug the jeans on. “Damn girl, I want you again,” Morgan says.

It’s Sunday and the ‘rents go in one direction and we go in the other to a café bakery. Three of us get a Mocha Cappuccino while Attie gets a salted caramel latte and each of us had our favorite pastry. I am finally getting used to sitting and talking while nursing our drinks for an hour. On the way back to the hotel we do a lot of window shopping, each choosing to get at least one thing. I bought a poster of a young spirit woman riding a unicorn.

Attie and I stopped at a shirt imprinting company with a picture of Attie and me in two of our simple dresses and got a quote for making several shirts and two sweat jersey cloth mini dresses saying, Attie & Teri – The Slade Sisters.

We got back to the hotel in time to pack and be ready to leave by 3:00 p.m. Our parents had made accommodation’s to leave later than the regular check-out time. It gave my father time to excuse Attie and Mom and sit me down for a lecture. “Terrance, how dare you pay out extra money to have a dress like this made up and then to prance around in it like a girl.” I was a bit shocked as my dad had become more accepting of my modeling stuff. This trip was to be in celebration of that.

“Dad its good business and it's fun. There’s no harm being done.”

“Well, both Jamie and Morgan’s dads have been surprised at how much you do as Teri. What they said made me realize that we’ve been way too lenient with you. I’m even afraid you’re turning into the Slade Sister you pretend to be.”

Intentionally using her voice I said, “Father much of my generation doesn’t think like that. I’m a whole person, not just that part that makes me a boy. I don’t intend to become Teri, but then again I’m no longer the little boy Terrance. I’m growing up; someday my male hormones will transform me and all this will be over?”

“Your cousin Thomas said,” Dad says, One of the days I saw him in from the farm picking up supplies. He said, "Heather and he had talked about you and Hattie being in their wedding some way.” Thomas is Dad’s brother's second son; he’s the opposite of me, but we get along well. His fiancé Heather is a grad-assistant, now teaching and working toward a doctorate. Hattie and I are actually closer to her as she and our sister are very good friends.

I ask, “Why don’t you accept what Thomas said, instead of your new golf buddies?”

Dad’s attitude heats back up, “Because things are changing too fast and you’re changing even faster. Hattie should be pretty and growing into a young woman, not you. Goodness sake, you’re even going to a prom as an older boy’s date. Tell me to my face that’s normal.”

I lost the progress of our conversation, dad’s angry and I’m ready to cry. “See that,” Dad says, “You’re going to be sixteen in months and you’re crying like a girl. Tell me that’s part of the new normal as well.” My Father takes a deep breath, “Well let’s stop here before I lose my temper and you break down into a crying spell-like Hattie does.” Dad left the room but I was already crying. I needed to stop and collect myself.

My mother came back into the room and sat next to me. She let me cry before saying, “Your Dad said, ‘You wouldn’t hear what he had to say. He did say that you did say something to think about. It was along the line of something one of your cousins told him. But what’s this about you no longer being Terrance?”

“Mom, it was that I’m no longer little Terrance, even as a guy I see myself as Terry. I’ve changed the last few months, I’ve grown up as a person. I don’t see things in the stereotypical ways Dad does. Yes, I’m going to the prom as a boy’s date, but I don’t have affections for him like dad’s afraid.” Mom gives me a hug and one of her smiles that says that she understands and loves me. I told her I needed to fix myself and went to the adjoining bathroom.

The ride home was okay, just little subdued. Mom needed for us to stop at the store with our pharmacy. Hattie and I went to get shampoo and I needed more deodorant for Teri. Neighbor Patti and some of her friends saw us. They commented on liking our Slade sister dresses, asking where they could buy some. They're disappointed we weren’t selling them. When mom heard that she said it wasn’t a bad idea. She took a picture and sent it onto Ms. Briggs and someone else she had met from the corporation.

Weekend over and the prom at the end of this coming week. Teri is invited to have dinner with Josh’s parents Tuesday night. Once home from school I ask my older sister, “Leah, how should I dress for dinner with Josh and his parents.”

Leah treated me as a sister, sitting down doing my nails as we talked. Leah says, “Hattie says, Josh has been awkward with girls. I am guessing his parents want to make sure you’re going to be nice to him. I would suggest you wear a simple flared skirt and a nice blouse. Is he going to give you a ride? …I’d be happy to give you a ride if he doesn’t. You’ve learned how to meet the public as a model that should help you.”

Seeing my fingernails, “Oh thanks Leah, my fingers look really beautiful. I’m thankful you’re my big sister.” Mom checks with Terry and incorporates him into preparing dinner. “I want you to cook the asparagus for me as well as make the cheese sauce. It shouldn’t endanger your pretty nails… Did talking to your sister help?”

I say, “Yes Mom, I thought I had been bothering you too much… I need to know, do I need to worry about Dad as I get ready to attend the prom?” Mom looks around, I wondered if she was checking to see if Dad was near.

“Your Dad and I have talked…” she began to say before Hattie came rushing into the kitchen to say: “Teri and mom, we have a new modeling gig it’s in Boston. That woman from Fort Wayne wants us to come there for a social event. That means both New York City and Boston this summer”

Teri coughs, “Gee Hattie, I’m having enough trouble getting through this week.”

Hattie says it again even louder, “Didn’t you hear me? We’re invited to model in Boston. We’re on a roll.” She pauses and thinks, “This week isn’t that difficult, just treat the prom as a fancy date. All we need do is get prettied up and enjoy ourselves… Neither one of us has been to New York City or Boston. Think what it might mean for our careers.”

Momma tells us both to relax, “Hattie, you sit down and tell us where you heard this? …Terry cut the bottom ends off the asparagus and get a saucepan out.”

Hattie says, “Mom the message came to each of us including Leah as our agent. Expenses are paid, along with different amounts we’ll be paid for this and that paid at the Boston rate.”

Leah comes down into the kitchen, saying, “Mom are you the one who told someone we can be there in Boston?” Hattie bows her head, “All I said was we’d love to. She took that as a yes.”

Mom throws up her hands, “That’s it we’re ordering pizza. You girls modeling has changed our lives. My head is spinning. I get home from work and there’s no chance to relax until I go to sleep.” Hattie, Leah, and I give our Mom a big hug. It’s not always this way, but it is a lot more than it was. Leah says, “Either pizza or Attie and Teri take us out to eat.”

Mom says, “I’ll agree to that. Teri, I want to see Terrance going out to dinner.” I lift up my painted fingernails and Mom says, “Okay, its Teri then, but we’ll treat your father to a steak.”

Eating out was no longer being very special. Hattie and I had tests to study for. The best thing of the night was walking back to the car, when Dad gave me a hug saying, “If all this is a rush and change for the rest of us; your world must be spinning off its axis.” Dad swinging back and forth in accepting or being upset with me is one of my bigger stressors.

Tuesday, the word was out at school that I’m Josh’s date for the prom. I expected something to come slamming down on top of me in the form of criticism. While I can’t say there wasn’t; it was other girls complimenting me or encouraged to treat him right. I guess they liked Josh a lot but he was so withdrawn. He was also dependent enough on Matt that girls had stopped going out with Matt.

That might have answered why Matt had asked Hattie to the prom. Other girls would have felt pressure to get Josh a date as well. I saw Josh passing in the hall, he had a big smile that was different for him. A twelfth grader sat with me at lunch. Carmen tells me, “I used to have a crush on Josh, but he’d never go out with me. I never could figure that out.”

I looked Carmen up and down so she noticed, and then asked, “Really you couldn’t?” She says, “You’re saying, you do?”

I said, "Being very shy and self-conscious most of my life. I bet he convinced himself you weren’t serious or it just made him way too nervous to think about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he worshiped you from afar.”

Carmen says, “That kind of makes sense, but how come you realized that and I didn’t?”

I said, “Because until I started modeling I was still very much like him. I'd be around with Hattie or Leah’s girlfriends. I was afraid of a girl if she wanted to be more than just friends with me. I’m still that way with my friend Patti.”

She asks, “Does Patti know that?” I smile but lower my head, “I’m working up the courage to explain that to her.”

Carmen giggles as she lifts up my head, “You don’t need to explain it to her; show her with a warm hug. I don’t mean to be hurtful, but many think you might not like girls like that. Rather you only want to be like a girl.” Carmen takes a small bite of her sandwich, waiting for what she said to sink in. I too take a bite of my sandwich and give a small smile. I had wondered if that was possible. Most people are too nice to me, not saying things I need to hear. I respond, “Thanks, I don’t have friends that say those type of things. Even getting criticism as a model has been new and a bit for me to get used to.”

Carmen says, “Well you make a good girl and most of us enjoy watching models we can relate to. You have my thanks for that.” Today’s lunch with Carmen was like a breath of fresh air. She even introduced me to some of her girlfriends. And they pulled me into the girls’ bathroom before it was time to go to class. More than one girl saw Hattie and my picture on the Slade Sister dresses and ask about getting one. =^_^=
Home from school I take a relaxing shower and I’m lounging in my room only half-dressed. Mom knocks on the door and peaks in enough. “Teri please put on a little more clothes, so I can come in for a talk.” When I’m ready Mom comes in she carrying a small bag from the prescription counter of the pharmacy.

She says, “Let’s sit down and talk casually. Then you can finish getting ready for dinner with Josh and his parents.” I’m not sure of what I’m seeing as she pulls a disk out of the pharmacy bag. “Teri my doctor and your counselor both think this would be okay if you’d like to try this. Needless to say, you don’t need to take as serious care about using them as a regular girl does.” She hands the disk, I quickly see they’re girls’ birth control pills.

“They won’t change you in any dramatic way. Your complexion might soften a little and even your nipples could tingle if you decide to use them… Well, you would need to see my doctor so she can get a blood test now. They’d use it as a reference point for down the road.”

Mom notices that I lick my lips as I gaze out as I do when I’m thinking. “Mom, but Dad?”

“Your father and I talked before we went to Ft. Wayne. He understands that this will not have a lasting impact on you. It will help a little with what you’re doing and give us all time to think before Terrance’s hormones determine everything.”

I opened the package and then see mom had a glass of water. I took a pill to take. Actually, I took two but was sure my mother didn’t notice. Once swallowed, I hurry to put the disk in my clothing drawer and hide them. Mom looked at me and gave me a hug. "This is an exciting time in your life. Don’t get lost in the excitement but savor this time. We don’t know how long it will last.”

Mom squeezes my hand in a loving manner. I am very proud of how you and Hattie are handling things. You finish getting ready for dinner with Josh’s family and Leah or I will give you a ride.”

The only thing I change from what Leah and I had decided was I decided to wear a modest heel of 2 ½”. Leah and Hattie both like the look of me wearing the heels. There’s a phone call and Henshaws are picking me up. They just wanted to know if I’m ready or need time. “I do need to check my appearance and see if I have what I need in my purse. Leah gives me a breath mint and I’m embarrassed as I take it in front of my Mom and sisters.

Mom says, “If they all come to pick you up that will mean they’re taking you out for dinner. They will probably have enough privacy that his folks will want to talk with you.”

“When they drive up I ask, “Does anyone know what a BMW 7 is?” My Dad responds from his chair, “It’s something we can’t afford unless you two become supermodels. ...I guess that confirms that Mr. Henshaw’s a high ranking engineer.”

I open the front door as Josh is getting out of the car. Leah calls to me, “Teri, the girl is supposed to wait for the guy to come to the door and be a gentleman. You might as well begin practicing things like that now. Remember that come prom night.”

“Not,” says Hattie, “you might as well relax. Most of the girls going to prom won’t be doing that.”

Mom says, “If you two are going to be rubbing elbows with those in high society. You better have a higher sense of yourselves, so those around you will too. I’ll answer the door and you can have a seat.” Mom welcomed Josh and introduced our family. She asked him what time they would have me back.

“My folks said we should have Teri back home a little after 9:00 if needed. Though they were wondering if 10 o’clock would be too late.”

My Mom said, “I think by ten would be fine. She has her schoolwork for tomorrow all done.”

We’re to the car, Josh’s sister Margo is with them and Mrs. Henshaw says, “Our older two Marshal and Jennifer will be meeting us at the club.” It takes us over half-hour to get there and it is much bigger than any country or golf club near us. She said, “If you don’t mind we’ll use the women’s restroom after we’re escorted and seated at the table.” I look to Margo and she whispers, “Yes, that does include you.”

We are given a nice table near a waterfall. Marshal and Samantha had arrived earlier and greet me. Samantha with a hug and air kiss. Once we’re seated and I’m one of the girls getting up and going to the women’s room. I use the loo and make sure I’m put together properly. Once back to the sink, Margo’s using the one next to me. “You look very nice tonight. I’d like us to become friends.

Her Mom excused her daughters, but somehow I knew to stay. You do look very pretty young lady. I want to talk to you as a young lady and to encourage you to be such for the prom. I’d like to help you to get a nice pair of cutlets. Please excuse my forwardness, I’m not expecting you to have sex with Josh, but I am hoping you might arouse him to feel like a man. Hopefully, he’ll feel an attraction to you as a young woman.”

I’m a little embarrassed to acknowledge, “Yes, I’ve worn them for modeling, but I don’t have a pair of my own. I guess it might be time. I’m busy tomorrow, would Thursday be alright shopping with you?” Mrs. Henshaw smiles and asked if it would be okay to pick me up at my house by four after school.

We were at the table and had eaten when a younger teen came to our table as we finished eating. “Teri could I…” Mr. Henshaw interrupted her, “Please let us have our time without being disturbed.” …I got up and took a few steps away with the girl. I had seen her staring at me a few times and she had waited for us to finish the meal. “I thought you were nice in waiting. Why don’t you quickly take a selfie with me if you want?” She was ready, and the picture was over and she was gone.

I knew we were out of sight of most people dining and luckily others did not come up to us. I apologized to my hosts saying, “I had seen her waiting, and I kind of felt for her. I use to be shy like that.”

We were back to their home by 9:00. Mr. Henshaw excused himself and soon after that Mrs. Henshaw excused the others. Samantha was the last to leave, and she said, “Mom take it easy on Teri, and Teri remember you have your own mind.” She sounded so much like Leah that I giggled.

“Come Prom Night,” Marguerite said, “I won’t be there and you’ll be more than free to do as you please. I appreciate you accepting Joshua’s prom invitation. Someone said some juniors and senior girls already talked to you about being nice to him. My plea is for him to feel he is with the attractive girl you appear to be, even the model. Josh has a good brain and he’s learning to think for himself, but as yet he’s not in touch with his feelings passed being nervous around girls he likes.”

“Can I ask you,” she said to me? “If you had a guy feel that you were a girl when you kissed?”

I said raising my voice a little, “I don’t want Margo to hear.” And with that I talked softly, “Ms. Marguerite, only Teri not Terrance will be there. Yes, I’m very convincing when in Teri mode.” She talked about some things a girl can do that I didn’t know before. I actually enjoyed our time together.

She was the one who drove me home and walked with me to the door at ten after ten. “Mrs. Carsten, I apologize that I’m getting Teri home a little late but we were having a good conversation and I waited a little long to break it off. I am so thankful that she did Josh the favor of saying yes to going to the prom with him. That is very nice of her and thank you for being so good about it.”

When they were done with the pleasantries she asked my mother, “What is it like to be the mother of two models who has quickly gained the following they have?”

My mother asked if she’d be willing to sit down and have a cup of tea. I interrupted before I left to get ready for bed. “Mother, I agreed to go shopping with Mrs. Henshaw Thursday after school if it is alright with you.”

Caught up with her guest, she agreed and sent me off without another thought. I couldn’t remember if I had taken a pill today or yesterday, so I took one while I was alone. I wrapped on my robe and went to the bathroom to take off my makeup and then shower.

Leah came in while I showered and then threw a big fluffy towel for me to wrap around myself as I dried myself. She giggled as I told her about me to shop with Josh’s mother. “So let me understand this, she’s not pushing you too far, just far enough that Josh’s hormones get an idea that there’s something he’s missing out on.” With an added giggle she says, “I’m sure glad you can’t get pregnant. Are you sure you can handle yourself whetting his appetite but not getting too involved with him?”

I was standing facing the mirror but I am sure Leah noticed my surprise at the thought I could be attracted to a boy. She says, “Yes, your hormones will be revved up as well. You and Hattie have already been looking at the boys. Did that ever get you excited?” She paused a while before saying, “You should do some serious thinking before you go to your prom fancy girl.”

The next day I went with Mrs. Henshaw, and she, in fact, took me to a special place to get my cutlets. It excited me to feel the cutlets pushing what I had up, giving the appearance of breasts and some cleave. Josh’s mom was amused when she saw my joy. She asked the woman attending me if she had the Simone Perele’s strapless shaper in my size. I have seen other models wearing them, but neither had tried one nor knew the cost. This one was a pricy number at $215. I knew I should say ‘no’ but once I tried it on. I liked it too much to say anything other than “Thanks, Mrs. Henshaw that is too kind of you.”

She said, “I was the one who suggested it and we both agree how nice it is on you. Would you like a little black dress for some other time?”

The saleswoman asked, “Teri would you mind if I pick out a black dress that you’d look super in?” I tried saying no. The woman said, “If Ms. Henshaw is set on it; I believe you’d do well to give her the satisfaction of buying it. It is something she is doing for Josh as well as you.”

She made a beautiful choice of a shapely black dress with lace. I love it, but I have no intention of wearing it for Josh. She also had me trying on the size that would better fit Hattie. That made it very flattering on me. Mrs. Henshaw took me to Biaggi’s for dinner and my mother met us there. I am now glad that I had dressed nicely. It was a very nice dinner with just us three.

Mrs. Henshaw was impressed when Mom told me. “Next Wednesday, You and Attie have a meeting with your agent about your trip to Boston, plus your next regular modeling job. That will be in Chicago for an event at the Navy Pier.” Mom said, “Chicago will include a photo-shoot for Marcus’ fashions.”

Mrs. Henshaw asked if she could attend the events in Chicago. I said, “I can get you some tickets for the fashion show, but the photo-shoot will be closed off.” Mom started to ask how I knew it was a closed shoot but realized that was the way I wanted it. “I would appreciate that if someone came with you it would either be a daughter or female friend. I would not want to start any rumors that I have a boyfriend.”

Friday was a fun day at school, especially for the girls. My friend Pete teased me about getting into all the girl's stuff. It did not help that I giggled instead of laughing like a guy. But then, I have been attending the whole week as Teri. I was surprised that Pete asked if I’d go out with him as Teri the following Friday.

Come Saturday, Hattie and I were up early showering and making sure our prom gowns are ready for when we return from the salon. Once my nails are painted at the salon, I would need Leah’s help to get my body shaper on and the gown over my head.

My hair extensions were all in place. My hairdresser decides to put tints on my hair. Both Attie and I then go to the mall with our gowns to have Ms. Briggs help us and then take pictures. Josh texts me that he’ll be picking us up in a limo at the main entrance of the mall.

Ms. Briggs is amused that I’m wearing a body shaper. “You know this will really change how you look in your gown. Please do not post pictures on your web page. It would take away any suggestion of your young innocent teenage girl image.”

Leah hums a tune that I was not getting until Attie sings the verse, “I feel like a natural woman.” Attie, Leah and the others around me have a good giggle at my expense. I enjoy being a girl today knowing it is to be my only prom as Teri. I put in the cutlets as Leah pulls my shaper into place. And as the gown goes down over my head, we work to make sure my hair is not damaged. Ms. Briggs delights in being correct with the shaper makes in my appearance.

Attie says, “Teri, does mom know you have that shaper and how you look?”

I say, “You’re jealous.”

Attie says, “You betcha, a brother shouldn’t look better than his sister at a prom.” That I look better than Attie is an overstatement. She and her dress are both more beautiful, but I am aware that I might be taking some eyes away from her.

We watch Matt and Josh as they’re walking in the mall. Several women and more girls turn their heads watching them walk into the store. Matt is definitely a head-turner and today so is Josh. There is a professional photographer present to take a picture for our modeling portfolios. Matt and Josh will both get copies later. But Attie says, “You still need to have pictures of us taken at the prom.”

They had walked in with their jackets off, but as they escort us out to the limousine their jackets are on and they present their arms to us. I for one appreciate the help as the skirt is long and slimmer than I'm used to. We ride first to our house, then Matt’s and finally to Joshua’s home. The Henshaws also have a professional photographer take pictures.

Ms. Henshaw compliments me on how I look. “Teri, you look as beautiful as any girl can attending her prom.” I giggle, it is as though a girl’s spirit engulfs me.

We go to the country club I was with the Henshaws only days earlier for dinner. Tonight I order the freshwater perch. It is new to my palate, but Leah was correct in telling me I’d enjoy it. The country club also has special chips they fry up there.

Attie has us go to the restroom at the country club where she helps me with my gown as well as her own. It did make going to the prom less nervous for me. I plan to go the rest of the night without needing the women’s room.

The night gets off to a good start with three slow dances. He had been wanting to kiss me since we first got into the limousine. During the third dance, I finally suggested to Josh, “If you are wanting to give me a kiss, relax and just do it.”

No sooner said and Josh stops dancing and gives me a hug and kiss. He held his kiss and I felt to need to respond to it. After his kiss, I gave a delicate kiss. I could tell he felt special to have the attention of a girl.

Josh relaxed as the evening progressed and everyone was delighted that he was having a good time. Carmen comes over and encouraged me to kiss him again. I liked him too much to tell anyone that he’s already excited enough. Once when a slow dance ended Josh was embarrassed because his pants were sticking out in the front and he was not sure of what to do. I gave him a hug and a kiss. I held him there, kind of dancing in place until he relaxed. It was close to the end of the prom and I was excited and I knew it was as Teri for Josh. I told Hattie that my nipples were tingling. She told me it was impossible and that I needed to understand that. Back in the limousine, Hattie was allowing Paul to get away with advances that mom and Leah said we were both not to let happen. I felt as guilty allowing Josh to treat me as another girl.

I had not expected Josh to get into feeling his oats as a young man as much as he did. I took the opportunity at the prom to encourage him to ask his friend for a dance and they both enjoyed it immensely. Going back to one of the after-prom parties Josh was taking me for a walk hoping to do something more with me. Truth is, we agreed not to say what did or didn’t happen.

Mom found my panties and had a long private talk with me…

Story to be continued…

Teri was at first just Terrance who jumped at an opportunity to model as a girl with his twin sister Hattie… Now he’s caught up in being a known model… They’re now the Slade Sisters caught up in a mystique of their own creation…

Mom waited until both Hattie and I woke as we were exhausted when we got home from the prom and the long night. Sunday dinner is usually around one in the afternoon but today we finally ate around five. We have done this on special occasions but today they waited so the five of us could eat a home cooked meal together. Hattie and I told an abbreviated version of the prom and then kept asking the family what they did. Dad did not want to hear about me and was afraid of hearing something he didn’t want to hear from Hattie.

Hattie had begun teasing Dad ever since we began modeling. She did start off by telling him, “Any rumor that I’m pregnant isn’t true. It would be much too early to know anyway.” She said, “I’m sorry, I even joked about that Daddy. I just couldn’t resist, though I know I should have. I did enjoy dancing with him. Teri got the praise of many seniors for bringing Josh out of his shell. Teri even contrived a way to get someone who had a crush on Josh to dance with him.”

I watched Dad’s eyes to see if he was disgusted with me, or what. My soiled panty was from me and not Josh. I had a shield and it helped but not completely. Hattie thought I went further than I did and likewise I was pretty sure she had. I had been alone with Josh but I had my dress off only to make sure it didn’t get wrinkled. And I was lucky because I had gotten Josh way too excited. He spurted all over for a moment and inadvertently I got a taste of him. I thought it would be grosser than it was. Oops, I’m daydreaming at the table.

Once dinner was over, Leah volunteered to clean up the kitchen. That was the first warning that Mom would be talking with us. The good news was it would be only Mom talking to us. The bad news was she wasn’t smiling when we got together.

She began, “You two are going to have a short leash when you’re in Boston for the 4th of July and likewise with Chicago. Rumor has it when you go to New York City, you’ll be way too busy to get in much trouble. Leah says, "You’ll have extra modeling jobs in the Big Apple. She asked what you’d be doing but all they’d tell her. You weren’t to schedule anything beyond what Jenna asks and two days of modeling. They are to schedule that when we get to New York.”

“Now with the nice stuff said. I am upset by what you didn’t say this morning and again since you woke up. Teri, the next time you should be rinsing out your own delicates and not putting them in the laundry.”

She turns to my sister, “You did take care of yours. I’m hoping the residual was the beginning of girl stuff. There was enough evidence that both of the boys got closer than I had agreed to.” Mrs. Henshaw had called before I had woke up. “Teri, she wanted to thank you for what you did for Josh. She didn’t have details, but as happy as she was, was too much for your poor mother.”

Mother said, “Among other things you are very lucky that his attempt to leave his mark on your neck was dismal. You’re now a professional model and losing an assignment or doing B grade work. Well, that is not acceptable for your sister and less so for you, young man.”

“I am glad you both hung up your gowns properly. I guess Leah thankfully helped you.” The conversation continued over an hour and a half and was still cut short. We confessed that we were both surprised about how aggressive both boys tried to become when they were excited.

There was a time all four of us were in a bedroom together and on blankets on either side of the bed. That was when we both thought worse of the other. Even now we’re not quite sure the other told everything even when it’s just the two of us. Mom says. “Don’t be planning anything next weekend. We’re going to your Grandparents and one thing you’ll be doing is modeling you prom gowns for her.”

I spoke up, “Mom our friends want us to go out with them on Friday. We hope we can do that if we promise to cooperate during the visit to Grandma’s.”

Mom asks me, “You’re not planning to go as Teri are you?”

That’s when Hattie should have kept her mouth shut but didn’t. “Mom, Terrance’s friend Pete is wanting to be in our group Friday with Teri.”

I said, “That’s okay Mom it will give me an excuse not to do it.”

Mom replies, “Well I’m not going to give you that excuse. We’re going to your grandparents and showing off your prom gowns. I would rather have you in girl mode so that you show your gowns better.”

“If you go on the date, it is to be as a group; not a date and nothing romantic between you and Pete. You’re friends and please keep it that way.”

It is actually fun going to our grandparents, taking the long gowns in bags stretched across the backseats. I remembered not too many years ago having to sit in a seat with Leah’s long gown stretched across my lap taking the same ride to and from grandmas. It causes me to smile as tis time one of the gowns is mine. Hattie is next to me whispering, “This time the gowns are ours. We’re growing up and like Hattie imagined these gowns are now ours.”

Mom saw us whispering when she looked in the rearview mirror. “What are you two talking about?”

Hattie simply said, “Nothing Ma. It’s just that this has always been Leah’s time with us riding in the back with her fancy dresses.”

Mom says, “I’m kind of glad your father didn’t come along. He might not be as happy to see Terry smiling about such an occasion.”

I asked, “Do you think Dad will get over his hang-ups Mom?”

She slightly turns her head to speak to us and yet watches where she’s driving. “Either when this is over or you decide who you are?”

Hattie asks, “What do you mean ‘or when Teri decides who she is?’”

“Just that Hattie, you said it. If Teri decides she/he’s going to remain to model; your Dad will come to fully accept it at that time. There is no doubt he loves you as much as I do. It’s the image he has trouble with sometimes.”

“Do you really think, I’d continue on as Teri? And you wouldn’t mind?”

Mom slows down ever so slightly, “What do you think, are you choosing to be Teri? It’s not my decision that counts.”

The car turns silent with Leah and Hattie giving me their full attention while trying to act like they’re not fully interested. I took a deep breath. It was my habit to follow Hattie and to wait for someone else to compliment and kind of define what I’m doing. Mom set me up to claim for my own intentions. I’m waiting hoping someone will bail me out again. Mom’s not having it, “Okay Teri what is it?”

“I like modeling and being Teri. I’m not stopping being myself, but I like who I’m becoming. It’s just that I’m afraid this is a dream and soon it will be gone. Will people then say I was being foolish and embarrassed my family?”

My mother says, “I’d be very surprised if it were a dream that would vanish quickly. You and Hattie have worked hard to make this reality come true, it’s not a dream.”

Hattie says, “It’s true that we lucked out and got a great break, but we worked our butts off to make it pay to happen. I think the prom may cause us to think we didn’t think of.” We continued talking until we pulled up to Grandma’s place.

Grandma quickly walked out to greet us and she held me at arm’s length to take a good look at me. She gave me a hug. “I thought the pictures of you ready for the prom were darling. I hope you don’t mind me speaking of you like I do Teri. You aren’t the Terrance I’ve been used too.”

“I am glad you two are continuing to be regular teens. So how did you two like going to your first prom?”

I get both gowns from the car and walk toward the house. Grandfather has already greeted the others, which is unusual enough. He usually remains in the house watching golf or baseball. He smiles at me and says, “I’m glad you’re here, it’s nice to see you.” He pauses, “Looking more like your sisters and mother, I want you to know I’m proud of you.”

Grandpa followed me as I hung up the gowns and then he asked me to stay and close the door to the room. We sit down and I’m worried a little, but Grandpa’s smiling. “Hey Terry, I’m older than your other grandparents. You might think I’m an old fuddy-duddy. The truth is along with being stubborn, I’m old enough not to worry about what others think. I know it took a lot of guts to do what you’re doing when I grew up. I suspect even now it took courage and a lot of dedication on your part.”

He smiled and pat the bed for me to sit close to him. He asked, “Can I trust you with a secret?” I nodded yes and he gave me a hug saying, “Thanks. I grew up having two older sisters that I looked up to, kind of like you. I was close to them and liked being around them and their friends.

“The difference was when I got hassled, my father, grandparents and even my uncles told me to fight back or get used to it. They hoped I would give it up. Needless to say, I didn’t go down the exact path you’re traveling for now. But I thought it might be helpful for you to know my secret. That I looked up to my sisters and mother and like feminine things. You might have some things you’re uncomfortable to share with most. If you want you can always talk to me. Grandpa would even come and take you out and we could a visit as long as that would be helpful.”

I know I’m sitting there looking goofy with my mouth open. I’m not sure what to say. I never expected to hear anything like what I just heard. Shaking my head, I finally ask, “Is that true, you’re joshing me to make me feel good aren’t you?”

Grandpa says, “It may sound unbelievable, but the truth is, it’s true.” We talked a while before going back out to the others.

Grandma came up to us smiling, hugging both of us. She said, “We’re not pushing you Terry, but we’re proud of you.” She hugs Grandpa, “And I’m proud your grandpa talked to you.”

Grandma asked, “Hattie and Teri can you pin up your hair to get it to look special like it was for the prom, or would you like help from the salon? I really want to see you two in your prom gowns all nice and fancy if you don’t mind. ”

Hattie decided on going to the salon for what she called being brushed out. It was nice since Grams was publicly showing us off in her community. Irene, who I got, worked off pictures from the prom. The salon did it for free and promised another time since the got to hang a picture of us in the Precious Times Salon.

Mom was a little down when we got back to Grandma’s but wasn’t saying anything until after the pictures and dinner. When we were finished with pictures and I was alone changing out of the gown, mom came to speak to me.

She knocked and came into the room when I was ready for her. “Terry, did you know Mrs. Miller, your old Sunday school teacher died yesterday or the day before?”

I confessed I did and mom was surprised I hadn’t told her. “They’d like some of her previous Sunday school students to help at the funeral dinner on Tuesday of next week.”

“Mom, I’m open to going to the funeral service but it would be awkward because I don’t want to help at the funeral luncheon. It will be mostly girls after all.”

Mom says, “I find that sadly ironic since you don’t mind being a girl. She, after all, was one of the first people from the church to send you a card. It celebrated your modeling as a girl. Not many women from the church did that right away.”

“I told Joyce on the service committee they could expect you and Hattie to help out.”

“But Mom, what would it look like if Hattie and I as Teri helped and others teased me. That would be awkward.”

Mom said, “It would look like you didn’t forget where you came from or how important Mrs. Miller was to you. You might as well know up front I won’t let you turn your back on those who were as nice as she was. You can quit modeling before that happens.”

I got a little upset and was talking back to my mother when Leah and Hattie came into the room. I figured they were going to take Mom’s side. Hattie and Leah said, “It’s not just about Mom is right. You had Mrs. Miller in fourth and fifth grade and she helped you out of your shell. We think you’ll be upset with yourself later if you don’t do it. She was also your teacher at the school. You two were friends and you even tried to behave for her.”

Hattie says, "I know you’re starting to worry about what friends like Pete are going to say. I even worry about what modeling people might say about our friends here. You better decide now not to be afraid. You better be deciding to be who you want Teri to be.”

Hattie seems a bit upset with herself. She hugs me and holds onto me. And I feel my shoulder become damp; Hattie’s trying to stifle her tears. I softly ask, “What gives? Why are you to tears?”

Hattie says, “I know what you should do, we’re twins I know, but it’s harder for you than my simply saying it.” Hattie quietly continues leaning on my shoulder. We’re hugging and we’re both weepy eyed. Hattie’s voice cracks, “Mrs. Miller was there for you. I bet you still have her handkerchief that she lent you. You know, she allowed you to keep it because it became precious to you. I think she knew even then.” I’m standing there taking in what Hattie’s saying, hoping it’s true.

I smile, “I know what everyone is saying is true. She’s still special to me. I knew I need to do it as well. You could have given me some time and room to come to my own decision.”

I dressed casually in the morning as Teri and went to breakfast. “Mom, do you think Ms. Miller’s daughter Hannah would understand if I went to visit her after school. “I’d like to offer her, her mother’s handkerchief back if she’d want it.”

Mom says, “You’re wanting her to know you have one? I’m sure she has more than enough.” Mom asks, “Wasn’t Hannah there once when you visited with her mother?”

“There were two times. Mrs. Miller knew I looked up to Hannah and went to watch her daughter sing in concerts as well as when she played basketball. I was in her mother’s class when she was in twelfth grade. I’m afraid she’ll think I’m being childish.”

Mother said, “I know for a fact that she’s very proud of you and I think you’ve grown up a lot lately.” Changing the subject Mom says, “You might want to call Hannah’s house now and see if she’s going to be home after you’re out from school. Please do that as you need to concentrate on your exams once you get to school.”

I was nervous and partly prayed that Hannah wouldn’t answer. The phone was ringing the third time when she answered. “Is this Ms. Hannah Trout? I’m Teri Carsten and I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you.” I’m afraid what she might say.

Hannah says, “Relax and just talk to me. I know who you are and I’m glad you’re calling. Someone said, "You’ll be one of the girls helping Saturday.” I can hear her lightly giggle; there’s a warmth to her voice. “I’m delighted you called, what would you like to ask?”

I say, “Would it be okay if I stopped by after school to show you something?” We agreed on 3:45. Hannah said it would give us enough time for a good visit.

When Hattie comes down ready for school; she asks, “Why are you still going to school as Teri”. Mom says, “Because I don’t think she has enough time to change over to Terrance.” Mom and Hattie lightly laugh. Mom hands me a note. “Hopefully this will suffice as an excuse for today. You were to be back to being Terrance after the prom. It says you need help from the salon to change your appearance back… It is partly true.”

Mrs. Miller’s celebration of life had been delayed to Saturday so other family, teachers and special friends could be there for the funeral.

My math exam and my history exam were both today. It required enough attention that it made being Teri easier. I hurried home to drop off school stuff and then Mom gave me a ride to Hannah’s home.

I had hand washed the handkerchief last night and gently ironed it. Hannah smiled when she saw that I packed it in a small box with pink tissue paper. She gave me a hug and showed me where to sit in there den.

She asked, “You look very comfortable, remembering to whisk your skirt under you and to sit up straight. I hope you know my mother was very proud of you. She knew you don’t intend to become a girl. But to be honest with you; she wouldn’t be surprised if that changed.” Ms. Hannah said my eyes became as big as saucers when she said that.

I told her, “Your mother gave me the handkerchief when I was in fourth grade. Other boys were teasing me and she wanted me to remember I didn’t need to be like them. My twin sister, Leah and I had been closed until then. When I decided to change that I started to get into trouble and fights. I was sent to your Mom once as my detention and we talked. She said I didn’t need to change unless I wanted to.”

Hannah said, “Do you remember when I sang in the choir or played basketball? …”

I smiled and interrupted her, “I sure do, my sister and friends started coming to watch you high school girls sing and play games like volleyball and basketball.

“When you played for a championship; I imagined you were a beautiful warrior. You gave both your boyfriend and me a kiss on the cheek before the game.”

Other boys became jealous and
I said, “Others said I was stupid to do it because you were a girl. You were smart and good at sports and singing. I knew you had a sprained ankle and that it hurt. I thought that took a lot of courage.” I thought and spoke again. “Your mother said you lost a scholarship because you played through your injury and stopped you from playing as good as you usually did. I was surprised because you still scored twenty points.”

Hannah looks at the delicate handkerchief, “I can’t believe that you kept it all this time. You have clean, nicely folded and tied in a ribbon. I would be happy to borrow it from you until after the funeral service, then I’ll return it.”

Hannah heard her baby cry, saying, “Let me get her up and I’ll be right back.”

She had no sooner left the room and the doorbell rang. She said, “Would you get that for me and see who it is?”

I went to the door at it was my friend Patti. I opened the door and asked Patti what she wanted. Patti said, “I am a friend of the Trouts’ and I’ve come to talk to Hannah about babysitting their daughter Megan. So can I come in?”

I call back to Hannah, “It is Patti Draper and she wants to talk to you… If you want I can go and leave you two alone.”

Hannah comes back into the room carrying Megan who is half a year old. Hannah smiles as both Patti and I walk close to see Megan and make a fuss over her. While Hannah says, “I’m sure you two know each other; is it okay if we all visit together.”

Patti says, “I’d like that but he… she might not. Terrance and I are really close friends. But somehow she's now having trouble talking to me. She’s friends with Hattie’s friends and being a model. I’d love a chance to be close friends with Teri.”

I know I’m blushing red; I know it’s true but I still feel awkward around her since I’ve come in touch with my feelings. I say, “She’s my best friend, but I always get very shy around her. I told another girl Carmen, She said more than tell Patti that I should show her how much I like her. But I am especially uncomfortable like now when I’m dressed as Teri. I’m sure she’d be embarrassed if I hugged or kissed her.” I can see Patti’s surprised, stunned is more like it and then she smiles and comes to give me a hug and I gave her a kiss.

We turn back to Hannah and she has covered herself and the baby. It soon becomes obvious that she’s nursing Megan. Hannah’s talking to us when Megan kicks off the blanket and we can both see everything. It is so beautiful like paintings and pictures I’ve seen. Hannah brings Megan up her shoulder to see if she’d burp and to change breasts. Like Patti, I was watching too closely and Hannah sees me looking.

“I’m sorry!” I quickly said. Hannah giggles, “Dressed as you are and knowing you’re a model. I see you like another girl, welcome to the club. Patti is already a member. She has been since I brought Megan home from the hospital.”

Patti speaks up, “Hannah, can you tell Teri that goes for her and me as well. She might be embarrassed about liking me a lot, but girls have no problem being a good friend to someone they love as a best friend.”

Hannah says, “Nicely put Patti; did you hear that Teri. If you like being a girl feeling like that should become normal for you and Patti.” Hannah turns to Patti, “Patti see this pretty handkerchief Teri returned that my Mother gave to Terrance.”

Patti says, “Yes, she, he showed it to me then and several times since. For a boy, he’s very sensitive and your mother became a special friend to him as well as his favorite teacher. I’m surprised he brought it back, it had been special to him.”

We were done our visit at Hannah’s and we leave together. Patti asks, “Would you be open to coming over to my house, my mother might even invite you to stay for dinner.” I hadn’t done that in over six weeks and never as Teri. One possible problem is I’m too excited, but I do say yes.

It is now different to be at Patti’s. We’re at her closet and she is showing me what she has new. Pattie initially thinks I’m teasing when I compliment her new clothes. “It isn’t special like what you model, so don’t act as you like it.”

“I’m being honest with you. I think the skirt and top would especially look fantastic on you,” I say to her. Patti takes the skirt off the hanger and lets her slacks drop. She puts on the skirt and then takes off her top and puts on the top.

“Patti, how dare you, your Mom would kick me out if she knew you changed in front of me.”

Patti says, “You didn’t mind seeing Hannah. Am I too small for your liking?”

I… I try to speak but it’s a moment before I can say or think of anything. “I wasn’t attracted to Hannah like I’m attracted to you. I don’t want to finally say how much I like you or ask you for a date. And then have your parents say I can’t see you anymore.”

Patti says, “My Mom and I already talked about if you came out of your shell with me… I’m not going to become your girlfriend, girlfriend now, only to lose you to so many others. We can date if you want. I do have the hots for you, but I’m just going to be a best friend. Girls can do that and still be friends. I think you’re in danger of becoming my best girlfriend for life.”

“You’d do better deciding what you’re going to do with Peter and other guys like him.” I pause and stare like what is she talking about?

Pattie explains, “If you become more girly with hormones or people taking interest in you as a girl. You’re going to get caught up in liking boys and the attention they give you. I know it feels good to kiss them and have them like you. You should go out with Peter and see how you like his affection for you.”

I say, “We’re friends Patti, he and I aren’t going to like each other like that.”

“He’s asked you out once, and I’m sure he’ll ask you again. What are you going to do when you let him kiss you?” I can’t believe she’s asking or I’m taking it seriously.

When I got home after dinner from Patti’s; my Mom and my sisters all knew something was different. They were sure there was more than I said about meeting with Hannah Trout. It was Hattie and Leah who teamed up on me. Hattie and I we studying for exams with Leah asking us questions. Now and then Leah would ask a question about this afternoon and other times Hattie gave an answer guessing at what was happening.

When we were done studying Hattie asked, “Is it true, you’re going out with Peter Friday night as Teri?”

Leah takes a hold of my hand and has my attention, and then says, “First, tell me what’s so important that is going around in your pretty head.”

“Well, Patti and I are back to being best friends and may even date some. But she told me not to worry about her and me, because we’re going to stay best friends. She said, "I should think about dating Pete and boys like him that I’ll meet in my travels.”

“Hearing that was kind of yucky, yet Hattie also knows it is kind of true. Like after a show and meeting the public. Hattie and I are taken with some of the same boys we’ve seen and it seems that they’re interested in us. It’s nice on the ego if they are. Not that I want to date them though.”

Leah says, “Be honest, I saw you dance with guys at Indianapolis. And was I just seeing things when you were at Chicago? Both at the photo shoot and then the fashion show on the pier. I think you watched yourself more than Attie on the Navy Pier but you actually were teasing some of the helpers at the photo shoot.”

“Now we're getting ready for traveling to Boston and New York City only weeks later.”

“I know the itinerary Leah and so what if I did have fun flirting. Sometimes I just get caught up in the attention.” I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow as well as Mom’s doctor. The more I delight in being Teri, I see Pete as a safe boyfriend to have. Last summer if we were going to get together it had to be at his house. He’d humiliate me at playing sports games he and the other boys like… This summer he comes here most of the time and seems happier when I’m Teri. He apologized once when we kissed, but we both were kinda getting carried away.”

Leah inquires, “You know Teri, when I see you from behind you are filling out your clothes more like your sister. You act a lot more casual around Patti though I can tell you still get a little hot around her when your affections have been stirred. But you seem to be doing as she suggested in taking interest in Pete and boys on the road.” Leah warns me, “She may have suggested you to date Pete and other boys and treat her as your best friend, but you’d be wise not to neglect your relationship with her. Whether you’re Teri or Terrance, Patti is probably the relationship that will weather storms and one you might be with when all is said and done.”

Leah continued, “Boyfriends for girls, come and go; sometimes a person might overlook the most important person and not realize they love them.” I cleansed my face for the night and was going to get ready for bed when Hattie suggests we all have facials. Hattie gave me a facial and Leah did the same for Hattie and Leah asked our mother to do hers. Needless to say, Mom didn’t ask about herself but we agreed to do hers in the morning or to pay for a salon visit.

Mom talked to me about what I thought of my facial. It felt good having it done. She’s a little concerned that each time makeup people did it for me it’s harder to regain Terry’s look. However, it hasn’t stopped me yet.

Today when I was downtown looking at stores alone I went to the restaurant to get a bite for lunch. It was one of the rare times I got hassled by a group of local boys. They were a year or two older than me. Trevor bumped me as he was coming out. “Sorry pretty boy, but you better watch out you don’t want that pretty face rearranged.” A step away, he said, “Pretty soft up top for a boy, aren’t you? We’re not as impressed as some others. I think most of them are afraid to tell you what they think of you. It’s not politically correct.”

I said, “I’ve not done anything to hurt you. And I don’t want trouble.”

Mack said, “Maybe we do. What do you say about that?”

I don’t say anything but try to walk around them, but Trevor takes hold of my arm. My automatic reaction is to slap his hand off. Instead, he takes hold of my wrist and jerks me to follow him outside. I say, “Let go, you’re hurting me!”

“That’s the point B*, you’re not welcome here.” Though he weighs more, he’s not much bigger and I resist going with them. I use my other hand to grab and push Mack into Trevor. Kicking him in the butt which causes Trevor to let go. And once I’m inside they move on.

I’m shaken by what happened but it happened quickly enough that others didn’t see. At least no one comments about seeing it at first. Once I’m seated, Tess a girl from school comes over and asks if I’m alright. “I didn’t see much but it looked like you had a little skirmish with Trevor and his friends.”

I told her what happened and she says, “I can’t believe that happened here in our town. What are you going to do?”

I had my phone and I was already texting Mom. “Mom, I’m at Elmo’s and I’m scared. Can someone come to pick me up? I have a car, but…”

I order an iced tea, a small salad, and a fish sandwich. I asked Tess to order something too. She and a friend brought their stuff over to my table as we’re now sitting together.

We talked and I was taken with how we visited as girls. The other girl Fiona said, “Would you like to go to the women’s room with me and freshen up?” I was glad that she asked as I was afraid of not being accepted in doing so. She was pleasantly amused, “I hope you don’t mind my being amused. What happened isn’t funny, but my helping a boy in here to collect herself. I kind of feel empowered to be helpful… Sorry, it probably doesn’t make sense or helpful.”

I say, “We both understand and yes you are helpful to me. You empowered me to become composed again. I appreciate what you and Tess have done.” There were blemishes in my makeup. A damp napkin and using my makeup took away the mess made. Fiona helps with some of it as my hands shake when I try to concentrate.

We were back at the table and our drinks have come and our food soon follows. I was taking a bite of my salad when I saw Mom, Hattie and Leah come into the restaurant. We moved to a corner booth. My Mom and sisters order drinks and we talked. Tess and Fiona were going to excuse themselves but I invited them to stay.

I didn’t see Leah write a note to Tess, ‘You’re invited to a free entrance to one of our fashion shows or a gift at the mall store.’ I learned later that Ms. Briggs gave each of them a modest outfit of their choosing.

Mom did have a police person come to our house and I gave a statement of what happened. Officer Margaret said, “I’ve come to think of the Carsten family and the Slade sisters as pretty interchangeable. Since you are not formally filing charges, we’ll just let Trevor and his group know to leave you alone. There could be serious charges facing them if they should do something because of your gender identity.”

She said, “It is nice to meet you, I just wish it was around your modeling. You all have made a good name for yourself and it reflects well on our community.”

Hattie and I commented that we had met her when she gave a presentation at our elementary school. We were growing up then and in elementary school. Marge said, “You’re that Terrance, I was wondering about that.” She suggested what Mom had already told Hattie and me; we’re not to be going around the community alone for a while.

We were going to New York City to see Jenna who had won the auction. She was co-sponsoring a social event of golfing and a women’s night out in the city. The golfing event was out on Long Island and the evening out was in Manhattan at a ballroom ten floors up overlooking Times Square. It was a benefit and during the night Attie and Teri Slade were each modeling three outfits and another three gowns; all of which were being auctioned off. The prices they brought in New York City reminded us this was a much different world from Indiana, even Indianapolis.

I was to some like Santa with some wondering if I’m really a young woman. My complexion and time tanning my body have aided my appearance and helps the allure of the mystique. Wearing one evening dress I was invited to sit on a lady’s lap. Heather was grateful that I followed through and invited me back to share in a discussion. She paid seven times the value of the dress, saying it would first be offered to a niece to see if she wanted it.

I was surprised later that evening when I returned for our conversation to discover, she hadn’t always looked like the woman I saw. She made a nice income acting and sometimes as a mystery person who was two different identities and genders in a stage production or other venues.

During our time in NYC Attie and I did a photo shoot, advertisements for tuxedos and formal gowns. This photo shoot turned out well for those wanting it. But the photographer was difficult with us and not very good in communicating to us what he wanted. Someone said, he thought it was beneath him to be photographing teens for a cheap commercial venue. He preferred taking all stills but this also required video and our speaking. It was our first entrance into the market of making commercials, which he said was beneath him.

The upper echelon of those we model for was said to be watching closely to how we were doing in New York City and in doing commercials. Leah is quickly cutting her teeth in learning her trade as our agent. Some criticize how simplistic she is and other appreciate how easy it is to work with us. We did learn some details that needed to be spelled out or it could add cost to us.

We experienced a number of professional photographers taking numerous pictures of us on the streets, though most didn’t know for sure who we were. We were recognized by the public some of the time and that usually went well. Several times when we entered an establishment, we were asked not to sign autographs while we were inside.

Interesting enough it was usually the store or restaurant that made the exceptions. Once we dressed casually as Hattie and Terry. Hattie was happy that she and not Terrance was receiving the majority of attention, even though we were not wanting it at that moment.

We had one evening with escorts to be out on the town. Several night spots were open to us despite our ages. Leah was with us and our escorts were young college age guys, properly screened. It was hard to remember it is was just a fun night out and nothing more. I was finding Gil, my escort very attractive. Our kisses and passion as the evening progressed became more pleasing to me. When another young man approached us I was taken by his looks as well. Patti’s words came back to me about seeing guys in a new way. I didn’t feel bad just that it was happening and I was liking it.

Once we got back to the hotel, I asked Leah to excuse the guys. I wanted to talk to my sisters alone before going up to our suite. “Leah and Hattie, did you two realize I was having feelings for Gil as well as the other guy who danced and wanted to be with me?”

Leah said yes and Hattie nodded in the affirmative. Leah saying, “I made sure you were okay, but I was pretty sure you knew and wanted to be with him.”

“I’m having more and more feelings as Teri, don’t you think that I shouldn’t?”

Hattie takes a hold of a hand, “How were you feeling about it?” I can tell she’s happy for me, but not assuming anything. We kind of know each other’s thoughts, but we treasure the other being there for us. Leah has become closer since we began to model. I guess her and Hattie had always felt close.

Hattie says, “You can’t be concentrating on being Teri like you are and not expect you’re slipping more into character. I think to come to Chicago, she Teri was no longer someone else, she’s you.”

We relax in the lounge but even Leah doesn’t order any wine or anything. Moments later Mom is down giving us hugs individually. She has learned to express her love for us, before critically being a parent. I know for one, I’ve worked harder to please her and follow her advice as much or more than the average teen girl.

Tomorrow we would be Jenna’s guests one last time in New York City.

When we go to Jenna’s I’m wearing designer jeans that have a metro-unisex look. They are high fashion and I’m wearing a top that goes along with it. I have a camisole underneath, nicer than the undershirt I first tried first. When we get up to Jenna’s loft apartment a number of her friends are there. She has two Masseuses and invites Hattie and Leah to try it first. She had talked to my Mom and soon she agreed that Jenna and I could be second and Mom would go after that.

Jenna talks to me, “It looks like Terry’s boy look is getting softer. Do you see yourself living more as Trei?”

I surprised myself, saying with no reservation, “Yeah, I kind of came as Terry, but I’m now wishing I had dressed as Teri. I’m feeling more natural as Teri. It’s been more of a head thing thinking I should be Terrance.”

Jena says, “Grab your credit card, we’re going to find an outfit you can change into after our massages.” I thought we were going to be riding off, but once outside she says, “There are these marvelous boutiques two blocks away. I think you’ll find something irresistible.”

It was nice to walk and I found myself talking to Jenna like I would with Leah. She’s probably at least seven years older than my sister but we have a good chemistry. She tells me how the neighborhood is changing over. “The new people like myself and a good half of the longtime residents get along. Beat cops have even set up a new ten square block district.”

I said, “That’s not very big.” Jenna says, “Would you believe there are a hundred thousand people here, a little more probably. Each row house has two or more households. There are some people I enjoy sitting on their porches with. One woman my momma’s age invites me over for a home cooked meal at least once a week. Her sons had moved to Jersey or Connecticut having landed better jobs. Her daughters including those married are there for dinner several times a week.”

We get to the boutique and from designer jeans to skirts, blouses and dresses there is a little choice of most items. From a floppy hat to a blouse that lets you or your bra show trough. I’m enthralled. I tried on two outfits, several dresses before I settled on a different outfit I could go naturale in. I did buy a set of lace panties and bra, knowing that would be required back in Indiana. I liked a pair of flat sandals but had already spent too much. Jenna says, “When you come to the city you need to plan to indulge and get one outfit each time. You’ve bought some clothes, but this is your New York outfit for this trip. And it includes your shoes. You can justify it by this masseuse doing you free. Your friend Jan Coffman said you can charge much of it to your sponsors. They’re more than happy with Teri coming out.

By the time we get back to Jenna’s place; my mom has had her massage time. She’s taking her time soaking in a large hot tub. Jenna says it belongs to her and her neighbor Connie. Mom tells me, “Teri do yourself a favor and don’t worry about covering yourself during your time with the masseuse.” It was that Jenna and I were on tables that faced each other that worried me at first.

“You’re another woman to me,” said Jenna. The massage and time in the hot tub took another hour and a half. At first, I felt all drained, more like limp spaghetti, but wonderful. Toni my masseuse was good, she loosened areas I didn’t know I had. The fact I became aroused, I guess was neither a surprise nor mattered. I was cleaned up before going into the water.

Ready to get dressed, it took a big effort for me to choose and go with what I wanted. My breasts are little more than buds but to have them free and showing felt like a big step forward. I wore the lace panty as I did not want myself flopping around reminding me I was Terry. Once out with the group; it was Leah that came and unlaced my blouse down to my belly. I have worn tops like it on the runway, but this is the first time for myself.

The time was a comradery of similar professional women, welcoming Hattie and me… Later back at our hotel suite, Mom gathered us. She said, “All indications are you are going to be around for a while. Both Jan Coffman and Ms. Briggs have communicated with us.” Jenna told them, “The girls are now known in our circles in the City.” Regarding New York and major cities, we are still small fish in the big ponds. You’re to continue as Teri and Attie Slader though more in our community know who we are.

Days later Mom asked before we were to see my counselor and her doctor, “Teri, are you wanting to be the one who is going back to school this year?” I’m pretty sure she knew the answer would be yes. I’m having a new counselor who works with more people considering transitioning. Ph.D. Cheryl Woods is in Fort Wayne, and now I’m to see Dr. Michele Dorft a partner to Mom’s GYN. Dr. Dorft also has a specialty in Endocrinology as well as with GYN.

My first appointment was at 11:00 a.m. and Patti came to our house at 10 saying she was coming with me. I argued, “You don’t go with me to either appointment. I don’t need you tagging along.”

“Tough, I’m excited for you and I already know girl stuff you don’t.” She gives me a warm kiss squarely on my lips. “Please, I don’t want to fight you on this, but I do want to be there for you.”

“I’m not even sure if I’m going to go through with this.”

Patti says, “You know you’re already a girl. You could change, but I don’t think so. It is more a matter of when and how. You have a great family, but you need the support of friends as well. Maybe they can give me some pointers in helping you… Plus I’m bossy.”

Story to be continued…

Teri’s discomfort of being in the waiting room of his mother’s GYN was replaced by his excitement of seeing Dr. Michele Dorft, his women’s doctor. Teri couldn’t help but like her. She was only in her mid-thirties but has been practicing medicine for ten years. She has a personality that Teri quickly warmed up to and she treats Teri as the young woman she wants to be. She is, however, no pushover. Near the end of her exam of Teri, she said, “We’re going to be moving in the direction you’re wanting to go. But it will be slower than you might want. I think a transgendered person should have a year of living like the person they want to be. This is especially true with someone as young as you. We can give you credit for a few months, but you weren’t living fully as a girl. I will give you a recipe of female hormones, milder than the pills you’ve been sneaking from your sisters. I will also give a shot to continue to block your body from making testosterone.”

She asks me if I’m understanding what she’s saying so far. I protest, thinking I should be able to do what I want. But she holds her position and gets me to affirm that I’ve heard and understood what she has said. “The medicine will be strong enough for changes to your complexion, but if we use it you need to understand some things. Your breasts and hips might begin to change and develop. So if you decide being a girl and a female model is not for you. You may need cosmetic surgery or live with the development of your breasts hoping they’d go back to normal. Allowing your testosterone back into your system would stop your hips their growth. Everything would be with the approval of Dr. Cheryl Woods. No approval, you would need to be dressing as a young woman without the medicine.”

“I’d like to see you weekly for a month once you’re taking the medicine and twice the following two months and then monthly after that. You’ll stop taking anything Dr. Woods or I don’t prescribe. Is that completely understood, Teri? Will your formal name be Teri or Teresa and how about a middle name?”

She said, “You should know that I am expecting that you will be transitioning. I will be one of your greater supporters if and when you do so. You already have a resemblance to your mother and sisters. That should give you an indication of how you might look.” Mom showed her a picture of my sister and me as models.

“I still need to warn you that is not a guarantee on how you’ll look after transitioning. You may have more facial hair than the others or something else that is different. You will need to live with how you look. Women don’t come with prescribed guarantees.”

“When you meet with Dr. Woods at the University Hospital and if she agrees with me; you may stop by here. You do not need to wait for your next appointment for your first shots and prescriptions.”

That she was asking my mother to be strict with me; not allowing any boy time was not pleasing. Not that I want it, but neither she nor my mother should be watching me that close. When I went out to the waiting room, Patti could tell I wasn’t fully getting my way. But a wink from my mother indicated the process was beginning.

Patti jumps up to hug me, saying. “So how did it go for you?” She didn’t step back when I displayed an attitude.

“It’s not what I wanted.”

Patti says, “But you’re on your way, aren’t you. I tried telling you doctors to look at the bigger picture and want you to be sure.”

I said, “But I told them I’m ready and she’s kind of in agreement that. I know what I’m doing and what I want. Why can’t they just cooperate with me?”

People in the waiting room were looking at us wondering what we’re talking about. It was now becoming more embarrassing for me. Patti quietly takes me out into the hallway as my mother makes future appointments. Mom says, “We now have to make an appointment to meet with your high school counselor and the registrar to change some classes.”

We have just over two hours before my appointment with Dr. Woods. My mother thought it would be an excellent time to introduce me to Victoria Secrets. I’ve been there but this time it’s for me not my sisters. “Mom, I wasn’t going to celebrate today after Dr. Dorft put me on a slower schedule to do what I want?”

We’re there and Mom says, “We can leave if you want.” She knew good and well that I’m not leaving without some shopping. A salesgirl from the college recognizes me and smiles, “I hope I can help you, women.” Calling us women helped me. Patti is sharp-witted in responding, “It’s come time for Teri to up her own wardrobe of some intimate lingerie, and your help will be greatly appreciated. Do you have silicone inserts?”

Tiffany looks to me and says, “Let’s look at some bras you like and I’ll help you. You can use some silicone petals if you want. I think that will be a good way for you to go. You’ve probably used some now and then modeling, but I take it these are to be part of your wardrobe.”

We know she’s wanting to ask more, but she’s being a good professional. Finally, I ask, “Would it be alright if you were to help me with sizing and fitting?” I think Tiffany is looking at Patti and me, wondering if we’re serious or joking and ready to cause trouble.

Mother was off to the side, now steps up, “She’s looking to be fulltime and she seriously could use your help. She’s definitely not wanting it from her mother.”

Tiff says to my Mom, “If I have your permission and Teri’s; I am more than happy too.” She and I go into an oversized changing room. Tiffany says, “What I do with you is confidential. I am personally pleased you are doing this.” My blouse and bra are off for Tiffany to measure me. She is very nice and affirming, encouraging me to stay realistic to the size I’d like to try to be.

Tiffany says, “Something your friend Patti or you said, sounded like you might be returning to school as Teri, is that correct?”

I say, “Could that remain confidential for now; I could change my mind.” Tiff agreed and I said, “I’m eighty percent sure, but I won’t be transitioning at least for now.”

Tiff says, “I think that is a wise way to go. Later in the year if you’d like to come over to the college; I’d think you and your sister could be paid to speak to one of the fashion and design classes.”

She has the three bras I picked out and has added another three for my consideration. The help she provides in showing how to use the petal inserts and in picking and wearing bras. Two of the bras she had chosen, look similar to mine but they fit much better. She said, “Some lace and satin looks better than it feels… I liked what you chose and went with what would feel as nice as it looked.” She suggested two styles of panties saying they might go better with my little anomaly. She also helped me select another satin teddy bear set for night time.

Mom encouraged me to get several camis and even two for Hattie. Mom had watched to see what Patti liked and got her a couple of things as well.

We are asked to be Grand Marshals doe the Goldfarb Community Festival, but we knew a longtime teacher had already been asked. Leah quietly gave our request not to be considered for this year.

The mall we go to is on the far side of the next county; Jamie as well as we have been invited there in the fashion show for the Fall/Back to School Fashion Celebration. It is after we’re back from New York and have more appointments. It is mind-blowing how fast and far things have gone. The walkway that seemed a big deal in the spring, it means much to Attie and me now to participate. A humble reminder that we’re still new, and to participate as teenagers we are there are conflicts. Ms. Briggs doesn’t officially change the wages from being a selection of one outfit. But she does know it is the last time for Jan and us to do it at the previous scale. Well, maybe not for us as we’re still living here.

Jamie says it is noticeable that we’re now professional. Attie and I did get a partitioned area for changing. We’re both happy to be modeling fashions that we’re interested in wearing to school this fall. In that way, it is more exciting than in the spring for me. That was exciting for the novelty of it.

Principal Andersen approved my attending high school as Teri just two days before the fashion show at the mall. Jamie said the news spread through town like a wildfire. I asked her angrily, “How can that be?”

Jamie said, “It was you in your FB messages to two friends, others got to see it. I’ve told you before messages there aren’t as private as you think.”

“But it was a message just to them, it wasn’t met for others.” I knew she was going to tell me she told me so. Ms. Briggs has us listed as the Slade Sisters returning home.

Our mother says, “Now everyone from your school should know for sure the Slade Sisters.” “Dah Mom, they already know.” Mom insists I’m sending mixed messages.

I’m at the store making two piles: one for the fashion show, including the one I plan to keep. The other pile is clothes for my new wardrobe. A fan Teg is watching both when I come out to look at the fit and to see which pile if either that they should go into. Teg’s from another small town and we’re becoming friends. She’s already a friend to Madi who was already a friend from since May.

Teg says, “You know Polly and Madi have started a fan web page for the Slade Sisters. I’m one of your bigger fans. Polly and I especially dote on you.”

I said, “I’m glad to have you as a fan. The fan site is very nice of them. They give a fresh and broader look for those following us.”

Teg asks, “Would you mind if I select an outfit you decide to wear to school and around in public?” I take a good look at Teg and a fall skirt and blouse that I’m selecting, thinking that she too would look good in it. “Yes, that would be a good choice for me as well. I have a sweater that will allow me to wear it in the winter.”

Leah picked me up after she had done whatever elsewhere. I unloaded my shopping items at home and proceeded with Attie and Leah to meet with a fitness coach. A Hadley Morgan meets us once we’re there and inside. Hadley says, “I and Alyson will be evaluating and then help lay out your fitness program. We’re told it needs to be something you’ll want to be able to do on the road as well as with us. Is there something else we need to know?”

Leah intercedes, “They are not seeking to build any muscle mass including their legs. We want them to be fit because they put in long days. Do we have an understanding?”

Hadley asks, “What’s with the request, are these girls princesses or something? Maybe we should have someone train for them.”

Hattie says, “We’re models and how we look is connected with our appearance. We’ll work out okay, but if you can’t respect us then we’re out of here.” A woman, Alyson walks up behind us, saying “Woe.”

Alysn, “Attie and Teri, I know who you are and we’ll have fun working with you. Do not worry about Hadley, she’ll be one of your biggest advocates if anyone else would give you a hard time. She does like challenging those we help to know if they’re serious about staying in shape.”

I’m shown where I need to change and can shower later. Then they go with Attie and Leah to the women’s locker room. I change into a bodysuit and shorts. Aly smiles as I’m out first. “One of us will show you the exercise and want to see you do eight reps, will that be okay? …If you have a warm-up routine you can begin or use the exercise bike for seven minutes.”

I get up on one and begin pedaling and Aly stops me. “Please let me show you how to adjust your bike for you to use. We want you to do that wherever you’re training.”

Come to the end of the workout, I was impressed with the exercises. I had stretched muscles, I hadn’t. I was tired but rejuvenated. Hadley came up to me and asked if it was okay to give me a hug, “Please forgive me for being rude. I jumped to an assumption that wasn’t true. I love your long slender legs, and was jealous and worried you’d be a wuss.” Her smile caused me to giggle. We hugged and were glad to become friends.

Before our meeting at Chapel Hill that was coming up, we had a small fashion show in Atlanta that we were hired for. Belk appreciated our being there and made it profitable. We were both doing well, Attie was especially sparkling. It was the middle of Saturday when model Lea came back running in from the runway and bumped Attie. I saw it and became furious. My sister went flying to the floor, while Lea remained standing. To everyone else, it was an accident, but Lea had her heels in her hand and hit and tore the slacks outfit Attie was to model.

“Lea, I don’t take what you did as an accident,” I said quietly but firmly to her.

Lea got close and whispered, “Tough, go ahead and hit me if you want.” Quickly I understood she was trying to set us up as the ones’ who are the bad people. I took a step back. “Please, watch and keep your distance from sister and me.” I took another step back and went over to Attie. “Attie, I’ll do double duty, take it easy until you’re ready. …Meg gets me her next outfit.”

Attie was patched up and ready to model by her last outfit of the evening. I had an idea about Attie’s damaged slacks ensemble and Meg made it happen for my last outfit of the evening. We took Attie’s damaged pair of slack added a peek-a-boo comma in the area it was punctured. We put the comma on the other hip and I wore a silver panty underneath. It was daring for this fashion show. I was hoping the maker would be happier we did something instead of nothing for them.

Come Sunday morning the fashion critics were harsh on what I did, fortunately, several websites were going crazy with hits liking the outfit as refresh and daring. And that was before someone interviewed Meg on how it came to be.

It is a week later and we have our show for late October, but next week we visit in Chapel Hill, North Carolina to set our part up. That includes finding out the clothes we will be modeling as well as the venue set-up. We have two meetings during the weekend one with Belk and the other is actually on Monday with those heading up the fashion show. We flew a late flight on Friday and are up early Saturday morning, as the head designer Ms. Lisa Harper wants to greet us.

We were tired as we hadn’t slept well. There were party goers on our floor as well as noise from below our room. I was drinking coffee to get awake. Attie and I both wore exquisite looking skater dresses. It was nice to hear the good compliments we were getting. Sometimes one fears those watching over you, especially the money people. Attie seemed to follow along better with Mom and Leah. I was uncomfortable but didn’t know why, until I finally jumped out of my chair. I had what I call a Charlie horse in my right thigh.

That was when I personally met Cal, a physical therapist who came to my aide. He squatted in front of me and looked up, asking, “Would it be okay if I try to help you?”

With my nod, he’s quickly rubbing both sides of my thigh near the pain. “Take some light steps in place if you can.” I was feeling a knot unwind as he rubbed. He took a hand guiding me a few steps. He asks, “Have you been drinking much coffee or caffeine this morning? How about water and juice?”

“I slept badly and I’m trying to stay awake. I’m sorry if that doesn’t agree with you.”

Cal says, “I’m sorry but it is you that it isn’t agreeing with.” He turns to Lisa and says, “I’m sorry but she’s in need of some fresh stockings.” It was true as his rubbing my leg had misshaped my pantyhose. I was embarrassed and Ms. Harper’s assistant took me to a nearby side room.

Where her assistant Meg quickly said, “I have several pairs of stockings being sent up, but it will take a few minutes.” Lisa said, “I hope you didn’t mind getting the attention of the cute therapist?”

“Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t be interested in me if he knew I’m a male model.”

Meg says, “He knew alright, but he was treating you as a good looking young woman and him as a professional.”

I said, “He has to be at least 10-12 years older than me.” With that said, there was a knock on the door. Instead of the person who was bringing the stockings; it was Cal.

“If she has her hosiery off, I’d like to check her leg.” Meg jokes back as she lets him in the room, “I’m sure you would.”

Cal says, “While she’s very attractive. I’m much too old and need to be professional about this.” He continues, but if she’s looking for a nice escort when she’s back here for the show. I could ask my younger brother or even my sister.”

I’m sure I’m blushing at this point, even though such joking or extra attention isn’t new for this business. I give them a hard time back, “What your brother and sister would only be eight years older?”

Cal says, “My Momma remarried and my brother is no more than three years older than you. I’m told he’s also good looking. Our sister is four or five years older.” I didn’t ask but he showed a picture of them on his phone.

“And you think he’d be open to being out with me?” Cal said, that it would be up to him. But if I was presenting myself as Teri, he thought he would be open to it. I was glad as he checked my leg and compliment on how I stay in good shape. He then excused himself so I could decide on the stockings and get them on and myself out to the meeting. I enjoyed the fact that I was a little ahead as I got a much nicer pair of stockings and Meg gave me another pair for tonight.

I was back to the meeting as it was ending. Mom asked how I was and then told me we were invited out for the evening by Lisa to a fundraising gala. Attie said, “They were pretty sure we wouldn’t be prepared so, we’ll each get two evening gowns loaned to us to choose from.”

Attie and I were each given $200 to contribute in some way during the evening. A woman’s basketball jersey from the women’s Blue Devils’ team was auctioned and I knew Attie wanted it, but she quit bidding shortly after it went to three hundred dollars. The bid was at $425 when I bided $500 and bought it. It would cost me three hundred from my own funds. But I was sure Hattie was going to be very happy when I gave it to her.

That has become one of my, our, joys with our success. Neither Hattie nor I were spoiled yet by having money. It was more than what we could comprehend. We’re not big stars yet, let alone superstars, but it pays real good to our way of thinking.

We were back to school by Tuesday. My old swimming coach is wanting me to come back out for the swimming team. I had to laugh as I’d need to wear a women’s swimsuit but he wanted me on the boys’ team. I guess I could officially do it. But there’s no way I’m spending that much time in chlorine water practicing. Coach Bradley gives in more than he’d like so he could have me swim a little as an extra for some relays. I still refused.

Coach Hartley for the girls’ team wouldn’t even consider the hassle it would be for her team. I was a good swimmer but hadn’t put in the needed time. Patti during this time had fun with my situation as she asked, “If I were to see you as Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde who should I be most scared of?”

That spooky idea got me to lean against the wall and ready to cry. I knew she was just joking, but she knew I’ve become more fragile with my emotions. Patti touches me softly, gazes into my eyes and asks, “Is this too much for you being Teri?”

I reply, “No, it’s just that I am not used to the changes. I want to be a girl but I wish it was done. Then I could put the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle and go on.”

Patti smiles, “It’s taken me years to grow day by day. I’m very thankful that not everything came at once. …So I take it you like being Teri; it’s just a lot of new thoughts and feelings for you?”

I smile and move quickly to hug and kiss Patti, “Yes, and I’m so happy to have someone understand. I think my Mom thinks as it might be too much. I’m afraid they might stop me. I know each day can get a bit much but I’m managing. And when I don’t I make that an easy day and just do what I need to.”

There was a time I went into the girls’ room at school and a girl named Bridget had her blouse off to adjust her bra. She said, “Some dumb boy pulled my strap and undone it.” I paid little attention to her and she complained. “What you’re not gawking to see how I look?”

I giggle a little saying, “No, I didn’t want to get blamed for doing so. If anything I’d be jealous that you have what I don’t.”

She said, “I’m upset that would-be girl gets more attention and can be a model.” She asks, “Do you even know how to change a bra snap?” I suspect she thinks I have others do it for me. “You know that we’re in the advanced Algebra class but you never talk to me.”

I say, “Bridget, you’re either with your boyfriend of your girlfriends. Before you didn’t even know I was alive.”

“Not quite, it was just you were Hattie’s shadow. I thought you were a girl even then. You make a good girl. I’m glad you came out of her shadow. Would you go shopping with others, not in her group?” We met after school, Patti was with me.

Friday after school, I got a phone call from someone who called twice while I was in school. I wasn’t going to answer but Hattie suggested otherwise. “Hi, I’m Drake, Calvin’s brother. He said. "I should call if I was willing to be with you. My friend Rob and I are willing to show you and your sister the area if you’re willing. We’re both closer to your age and as my brothers say, not too dangerous. If you’re not afraid to be with a guy, I’m willing.”

I checked with Attie and she hit my phone so we could see who we were talking too. Rob was there so we heard and saw both of them. As we were hanging up, we could hear Rob, “Damn Drake, I thought you were joking. They’re hot, young but…”

To be continued…

It was two days of being hassled by my sister Hattie about the arrangement of having Drake and his friend Rob be our escorts while in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Come Thursday, we both have salon appointments after school with our hair to be styled up in curls. But it’s done in a way that after two changes of outfits, two pins can come out of our hairdos allowing our hair to drop into another pretty style. Mom says and Hattie agreed it wasn’t a big deal, but they say that about many things I see as special.

I pay extra attention to how it was done and bought a wrap to ensure I didn’t make a mess it when I slept. Sandra my beautician gives me a sample vial of a perfume that she offers for the fashion show. She was wearing it and I loved it.

We drove down to Indianapolis to stay there and fly out on Friday. Leah’s not going on this trip, choosing to stay at the University except to have lunch and drive Mom’s car with us to and then back from the airport.

It was embarrassing that I was pulled aside at the airport and asked why I was lying about being a girl when flying. They wanted my permission to physically check me. When I asked for my mother, one person said, “You’re old enough to speak for yourself.” I knew the others were aghast by the way I was spoken to. Another official began to say that I’m a transgender but she is told to remain quiet. For some reason, none of the other officials would speak up for me.

I raised my voice, saying, “Yes, I can speak for myself, but my mother has the document I need. …And my rights are also protected unless you think a teenage boy wanting to be a girl endangers this plane.” Someone said “Touché” in the background.

I looked at the name badge of the officer giving me a hard time. Seeing the name Murphy, I bit my tongue about Murphy’s Law. It was then another Officer brought my mother back who was demanding to know what was going on. That Officer pulled out a bottle from my carry-on and said, “With that confiscated, you may be on your way if there is nothing else.”

I said, “There is unless you can assure me that he won’t be pulling this on someone else.”

Officer Dean said, “It will be looked at, thank you. Each of us will receive a warning in our files. The instigator and all of us complicit by silence are guilty of permitting this.”

My mother says, “I believe you have both our names and information needed for your action. We have a plane to catch.”

We are flying in the Sky section, and are some of the first people off the plane and our luggage also comes off early. Mom says, “I have a message from Calvin that he’s picking us up and will meet us at the luggage area.” He’s driving a CRV, all we need do is text him which door we’re coming out, Hattie looks up pointing N37. Calvin was a little saddened that Leah wasn’t with us.

Officially Cal picked us up because the fashion show would benefit the therapy section of his hospital. Mom said later, “I think Calvin might have been doing it to care for one of his own. Despite his strength as a therapist, there are things that suggest to me he knows Terrance’s side of the street.”

Cal had already dropped us off at our hotel and left.

We’re in our room when a call comes, “You’re about to receive two southern belled gowns and asked to wear them for dinner at 7:00 p.m. There will be help with the corsets if needed. We thank you for your cooperation.” It is but a moment and there is a knock at the door and the gowns are here. They are magnificently beautiful but with gowns and three of us, the room has become crowded. A woman aptly named Betty Jo pokes her head in asking, “Have you showered and ready to put on your gowns?”

I say, “We barely have room to move. How are we to do this?”

Betty says, “You have the room next to you.” Opening the connecting door she says, “Didn’t you know that some of that furniture has been removed to accommodate you?” The fact that we receive only part of the information we needed is not new.

I am moved to the other room with my gown. Not wanting to endanger my hair to a shower, I am subject to a woman helping to bathe and dry me with an ample supply of dusting powder that I am not used too. Attie and I are both to wear period clothing from the 1800s. The woman and a college-age assistant help me into a corset and begin to tighten the cords and reducing my frame by several inches. With my waist down to twenty-one inches; it takes a moment for me to catch my breath and learn to breathe. Sitting up on a chair for my makeup to be applied feels strange. Longer eyelashes are applied and my face is lightened two shades with the base makeup. I watch the transformation as I can no longer see myself but this young woman from an era gone by. With the help of even a third person, the gown is lifted over my head. It becomes apparent as the gown is buttoned up that my hairdo from the day before was planned ahead of time. It goes very well with my appearance. My breasts bubble up showing ample cleavage that I didn’t know I could have. I am standing as my fingernails are painted a glistening red that stays looking wet to the touch. My lips are given another coating of lip-gloss and are a bright cherry red. With another application of blush, I appear to be done.

But Betty Jo approaches me with a dazzling set of dangling earrings. Diamond studs are put on just above them and then the silver and diamond bangles.

I ask, “How am I to eat with any decorum and remain intact like this?” The young college woman says, “You’re not. You will sit carefully at the table, while others have a meal you’re being asked to make do with dainty cookies and sips of water. The sugar will give you the energy you need and the water enough to sustain you. But please do not drink too much, you will not want to have change out of this and back into your gown.”

She is right about that and luckily she says she will be with me as long as needed. Her name is Kelli and she asks me if I ever meet other trans-girls on my trips. I confess it usually happens once or twice a trip. It is then she asks, “What’s the compelling reason a boy wants to be a girl?”

I say, “There’s no one answer as we’re not all the same. We do vary like other girls. For me to model as a girl is a decision, but then one day I woke up and being a girl wasn’t a decision. It is something I realize that I have been even before I thought about it.

“I have gone back to wearing Terrance’s clothes several times, but Terrance became my second self.” Kelli and I enjoyed talking up to when it was time to go to the banquet. I stood the half hour left of the social time. Kelli helped me to my chair and there were at least three people sitting between myself and my sister. And so it was for other models dressed like us. It became apparent that the gowns were specially made for this occasion and to part of a silent auction to someone wanting to buy it.

It was nine-thirty when the banquet and gathering were officially over. It took another forty minutes to get back to our rooms and for Kelli and Marsha to get me out of my gown and it is collected from the person who bought it. Betty Jo said, “You are likely to have someone with tonight’s program come and ask for your signature. She is likely to be the person who purchased the gown. We will appreciate your cooperation.”

Kelli was still there and says, “If you are hoping to meet up with Drake and Rob they are still open to it. They should be down in the lobby waiting for me to ring down and let them know if you’re coming or not.” I knew both Attie and I had received calls from them earlier in the evening, but I did not have my phone with me.

I was famished and needed to eat, while both of us felt a need to unwind. Our Mom was not wanting us to go out, but wouldn’t stop us. Once down to the lobby I was amused as Attie went running to be in Rob’s arms. I felt a need to show Drake I was happy he was here and gave him a good hug and kiss on the cheek.

We ended up quickly getting a sandwich and then went to a pub so we could dance and drink. Attie and I both ordered colas with a capful of rum. Come the second round of colas neither of us asked for, but my second one actually had more rum in it. Attie told me in the morning that I became a wild girl on the dance floor. I remembered having a fun time, but didn’t think I was that wild!

Attie and I were up early and over to the hall holding the fashion show. Some of the vendors were still setting up their booths, many were happy that we stopped by and allowed for them to take photos with us. There were the perks of free cosmetics and other samples that they provided us. Jetta for one joked with me saying, “Girl, your buds might be small, but you can’t fool, me saying you might be a boy. No way, you’re a girl all the way!” Seeing Jan Coffman taking a picture, I wasn’t sure if it was a set-up for continuing the mystique.

We were to be around for a social time for attending women from 10-noon. Attie was part of a panel discussion before we began to dress for the fashion show. It was there that I first met Andrea of Andrea’s Threads. Attie and I would like to have modeled some of her clothes but we don’t yet have an agreement to do so. She had recently graduated from high school and was attending a university in Fashion and Design as well as classes in business.

Our Momma was taking notes. We were sure to come the spring semester; we would be doing the same at the college near our town. Neither of us has a great desire to get deep into the designing of clothes as we do not have the eye for it.

I took notes as well but mine was in the fact that after a year of hormone replacement therapy Andrea’s breast was growing more like a normal woman’s. She now had gone from a B cup and was becoming a full figured woman. Needless to say, I was envying her and happy that we met. I can’t say that I know her as much but we have a kindred spirit.

The fashion show goes well for us. Attie had even fooled the announcer once when she, the announcer, wasn’t sure because we came out in each other’s turn and gowns. Attie and I each wanted one of the dresses but had to settle on something like them as there was to be no duplicate as they were auctioned as one of a kind to high bidders.

I met Ms. James’ the woman who purchased a gown I modeled as she wanted me to autograph it inside as well as her program. She was an older twenty-something beauty from Charleston, South Carolina. Our seamstress spent an hour and a half fitting her properly. Heather James and I visited though I tried to excuse myself when she changed clothes. Heather said, “I thought your work would have taken away your modesty.”

“I try not to subject the customer to what I experience backstage.”

Heather asked, “Is there any other gowns you could change into?” Bonnie our seamstress from Belk, showed her one. It was more of a showy dress for a night on the town. Heather asked, “Would you mind changing into that and show me how it looks on you. I’d liked to see it with the proper makeup as well. I know I’m asking a lot but it’s just among us girls.”

Bonnie said, “Use either nude or suntan stockings they’re here in this drawer. I can help you with makeup when I’m done here.” I can tell both Heather and Bonnie are happy thinking I’ll cooperate.

I knew I was nicely tucked away and the breast forms I was wearing were authentic looking. I turned away and lost what I was wearing except my panties. I knew where I put a bra from the show. It would go well with this dress. The suntan stockings were nice and the self-standing style. I needed a pair of three-inch heels, but I told Heather, “I’ll need to find something to go with this if you’re wanting me to wear this tonight.”

Heather asked, “Would you please do that for me. If you’d be willing for me to take you to dinner your mother and sister could come.”

I said, “That is nice of you. If you wouldn’t mind; I would be happy to come along with you and your group. But I’ll need to have my mother’s approval. Attie and I each have trouble getting our time alone.” Heather confessed she was the older of two sisters who were close. “I love my sister Haley, but when we were younger we treasured times apart. I will see you in the lobby of your hotel at say 7:30 this evening.”

I asked, “Is there anything special we’ll be doing and should be ready for?”

She smiled, “Be yourself and let me know then if there is something you’d like to do after a good dinner.”

I changed back out of the dress after Heather was finished and gone. I asked Bonnie about the dress and what it cost to rent or buy. Bonnie said, “It’s taken care of Ms. Harper and Heather James had it arranged if you agreed to go out with Heather tonight. Lisa halved the price to an extra five hundred dollar donation; Heather bumped it up to seven hundred. She said she was willing to go to a thousand.”

“They already we certain that I’d go out, how dare they!”

“Hold it,” Bonnie said! “Heather was in agreement after Lisa said, ‘You were in need of a relaxing night to just unwind. I was told your Mother said both you and Attie need to find a way to relax and a chance to be yourselves. You’re both moving too fast, staying too busy. I expect your mother will say something when you get back to your hotel.”

Bonnie had draped a plastic cover over the dress and held out a kit of accessories, “That includes the cream shoes from one of your dresses earlier. It should go well with the dress. Let us walk over to your hotel and know that Drake is not expecting to see you until tomorrow.”

Back up to the suite and Attie’s busy getting ready for being out. She too has someone hosting her evening out. The dark blue satin dress is also for a night out on the town. I ask, “Mom, what’s going on and what will you be doing all alone?”

Mom said, “I’m not going to be, but I’ll be able to enjoy the symphony without wondering about you two. Like I told Attie, I’ll see you whenever you get back in the morning. Hopefully no later than noon.” I went through a list of questions and needs about being out and where I’d stay. Finally, I’m told, “Relax and enjoy. I hope you know this is a unique time.”

I changed, did my makeup and used a curling wand to reset several curls. Attie complimented my selection of makeup in doing my face. I compliment her but it’s not the same thing. She and Mom have only had to learn to do things for the society we’re hanging around. We all feel a little like that women being allowed to rub up with the society people. Each gathering we feel a little more at ease, but we know we haven’t arrived or been accepted by everyone.

I’m down to the lobby and Heather is there with another young woman and I’m introduced to Haley Heather’s younger sister. I’m told, “Haley’s along with me; she comes with me so Don doesn’t have to suffer through some things I enjoy. This is my payment for all I do for Don James, Inc. Don’s expanding the family business into housing developments. It’s mostly developing homes for $800,000 and up into the millions. It might be around a lake or near golf courses or out away from others. Our own home is nestled in ten acres of trees and creeks yet less than ten minutes from the bustle of most of the things we like in Charleston.”

We went out to a fine dinner the three of us and to a concert of two notable singer entertainers, selected to please the crowd of thirty and forty-something do-it-well women. The amphitheater had room for a good orchestra, a nice stage, and great sound acoustics. We were maybe a third of the way back and close to the center. Once we sit down Haley makes a sound of recognition and quietly says, “If you’re going to mind my holding your hand of placing a hand on your shoulder. I will need to exchange seats with my sister. I am quite a romantic at heart and music invokes my emotions.”

I say, “Tell me about this?’

Haley says, “I teach in a less than ideal school situation. My boyfriend had wanted me to transfer or get another job.”

“So he must have come around or is that why you’re here with your sister?”

“Kind of,” she says, “it’s why I come with my sister.

“So he…”

Hadley said, “He left me and I have trouble holding boyfriends who don’t understand my motivation to teach. But my sister comes here or I go there, needing a respite to something like this that a teacher has trouble affording.”

I say, “Wow, I’ll treasure your touches. But it is good to know; I wouldn’t want to mistake them for your affections.” I smile and reach to her lap and squeeze her hand. Then we look at the programs and ready for the concert.

The intermission comes a little early by design, allowing any men time to excuse themselves and women to relax and take in the estrogen-laden atmosphere. I am quite comfortable, feeling honored to be one of them. We have a small glass of wine. I can tell it is a crowd that Heather more closely identifies with. Haley is comfortable. Few women if any recognize me. But only one person a young college girl comes to talk.

I’m told later that many of the women present are noteworthy and more recognizable, but we’re in a crowd that honors the wish for private moments. That hit me as an unrecognizable feeling I was having. I was relaxed and enjoying a free evening as Teri. Having Haley next to me, comforted me to have a caring friend with me. Some women were a little bawdy; relaxing in their laughter and comments. I was sure one comment was an attempt to embarrass others like myself. They were correct in assuming I was not used to it.

The singer for the remainder of the show approached the dominantly female audience with a more mature and sophisticated style. But the evoking of joy, sad tender times and love would run even more deeply. Not only did Haley’s hand squeeze my hand or affectionately rest on or around my shoulder. She also gave me well-needed tissues as I had forgotten a handkerchief.

I felt my body lower down respond becoming warm and inducing feelings I’ve been told I can’t be having. My budding breasts under my breast forms affirms I’m feeling things as Teri. Haley whispers, “I’m impressed by how much you’re one of us.” I moved to give her a kiss on the cheek, but apologize that I did. Haley said, “Apology not needed.”

We are one of several groups of women enjoying another glass of wine in the lounge of their hotel. It is good to be able to visit as three. I thought she might come across as a mother hen, but we’re equals, all basking in the evening warmth.

Once up to their suite, I’m given a set of satin top and women’s pajama shorts. We all prepared for bed and a half hour later are saying goodnight. I am out in the common room an hour later not able to sleep, I was quietly walking or sitting. I could tell one of them had gotten up to pee, but I was sure by now she was again sleeping. Haley made her presence known so not to scare me. She softly says, “When I have a time I enjoyed so much, it is hard to be alone as my mind can’t stop thinking of the night.”

We remember a few times we each thought was special. Haley had but I hadn’t heard beautiful music sung by a great female singer to be enjoyed by other women. We agreed it was touching to a woman’s soul and way of processing things. Haley was ready to sleep but I wasn’t. She takes me by the hand to her bed and gets into bed and has me spoon myself behind her. It was only minutes before I was sleeping soundly.

I woke to a warm kiss and hug from Haley.

Attie had been out with Drake which took away my desire to see him today. We would have a photo shoot at 1-2:30 p.m. for Belk before flying back home. It was to my delight that Heather and Haley were present at our photo shoot. Our cost for the weekend should have been $5,000 each plus expenses. Thirty-five hundred donated, our contract covered the time with Belk’s photo shoot and expenses. I also got to keep the evening dress that Heather had paid for me…

Haley’s enduring friendship was all by itself…

Story to be continued…

The Ad research was back in by early November Attie and Teri had followers and their advertisements were having a very good impact on sales. With holiday sales active a new online push would be on. Computer and business students in several sororities had suggested challenges between rival sororities with competing universities. Our companies did not want to select one set of competing sororities and dismiss and aggravate potentially hundreds of more. They devised a campaign where universities and smaller colleges could compete by activating Christmas wish and buy lists groups with twenty-five responses from five or more college groups in any or fifty or more responses for responses from five groups at larger universities in a conference would put those groups into a competition.

Attie and I were happy that we didn’t need to figure the logistics of such a promotion, but we were deeply involved in modeling many more clothing and accessories items. It would take photo shoots Friday through Sunday the first two weekend of November. The early success of the promotion gave us a third and fourth weekend where we did online connections to early competing groups through online broadcasts with group responses. Leah learned firsthand that we were growing popular with the college and career women her age. , despite being teens.

The mystique of Teri being male or female was not as relevant as Attie and Teri developing this following and promoting the various clothing lines. Schools like Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Chicago University and MIT weren’t interested in the normal clothing but requested upper-end fashion lines also be promoted. Thus another modeling need.

That promotion was pushed to continue into early December but the interest in high-quality fashions with their bigger ticket items also hit a good cord. That promotion took us to Fifth Avenue in New York City for a runway style promotion. Two recorded sequences with over forty dresses and outfits were the draw, with over two hundred dresses, outfits and accessories being promoted in smaller doses online.

I spent so much time as Teri, I was living as her even at school. I had decided by the second week of November that I was staying as Teri for the foreseeable future. Needless to say, there were others who would fight my decision.

Fortunately, there was no evidence of adverse effects, only theories and no one asked me to speak in Terrance’s voice. While it was not impossible it was the voice that took an intentional effort.

Come Black Friday night Hattie and I got away to Leah’s place off campus and went out with a group. It included two freshman guys from Purdue University with Leah’s help. I thought it was an adult thing that I decided I could handle sitting on a guy’s lap and get his attention. Troy was a college soccer player but better known for his academic prowess and good looks.

It became our secret that he likes me, especially my feminine side of being Teri. It surprised me that it was no longer a problem to me in being with a guy. It was 1:30 a.m. before he got me back to Leah’s as we had a photo shoot and promotion beginning at 9:00 a.m. That meant being up and ready by 7:30. I did get a lecture or a small sermon from Leah as I got ready. Her close friend Sheila promised to help watch me closer in the future. I rarely have problems with agreeing to be better in the future.

My best friend Patti and I would visit and she updated me on class material almost every night. Academics had actually become more important as I wanted to graduate early. Our taking a college course each semester and two in the summer usually counted for high school as well as college.

Learning the business part of our modeling and fashion business made sense every way one looked at it. I was sharper in math, calculating sales impact and making sure the accounting of our interests were done properly.

Two nights in a row I fell asleep at Patti’s while we studied on Tuesdays and Wednesdays nights into December. Patti’s mother led me out to a couch where I slept until morning if I fell asleep there. Since I was now dressing as Teri it was not a big problem in getting ready for school. Patti and I did get hassled, mostly by Patti’s close friends or boys whose imaginations ran off with them.

I was now a fan of Patti and the high school orchestra and choir. It was especially good giving me interests where I wasn’t being focused on. The choir director Mr. Hurd did test my voice and Hattie’s. He ended up using it in their holiday gala. Five girls were missing because of the flu, colds and sore throats. We were singing nothing special just adding to the chorus parts.

It was special to me because it was the first time in a school activity I was accepted as a girl. Teri and Hattie Carsten were listed in the official program.

Long red skirts and white satin blouses with hair and nail salon appointments were required for our participation. The surprise for Mr. Hurd was when we helped a half dozen other girls with their makeup. Each of our girls stood out better under the auditoriums floodlights because we knew how to compensate for that better than most.

Performance wise that may have been the biggest contribution we made to the evening. We did agree with Mr. Hurd that the whole music program deserved to be supported and not its budget cut. Two thousand dollars from our holiday sales bonuses would come back to the choir for music and other expenses.

The fact that several girls boasted they were prettier than us in the choir went as inconsequential to us. Mom liked it as a reality and keeping us in touch with our community and friends. By the time we sang in the choir, exams were on the horizon and our mother put a halt to our work till after the New Year’s Day, and three weeks into the new semester.

We have three Spring Galas scheduled before the turn of the year that we’re to be in, more than we could have been, plus four photo shoots for spring and summer fashions. The reality of it was, we had done two Spring Fashion sessions already in November and December. The lead time as they call it is leading the buyers in what they’ll be interested in beforehand. The late January photo sessions included early sale surprises in what was trending from buyer interest.

Attie and I were part of presenting a series of awards from the online holiday promotion campaign. I remember leaving our community on January 23, because it was the day before Patti showed me evidence of her period and instructed me to keep my own calendar as though I too had experienced bleeding. She explained to me that many girls have to wear a half to a full size bigger in clothes as they retain more water before their body flushes out the building of their inner lining.

She suggested it as an assignment to better know the women I was selling fashions too. I thought it silly and told my mother which may not have been my wisest decision. She too thought the idea of keeping a calendar was a good idea. Mother said, “Saying you have a twenty-nine-day cycle, which means the height of your nest period would be February the 21. I would like you to begin wearing a panty liner on the seventeenth. That is until I tell you to begin wearing a larger napkin.”

I made the mistake of joking at that point. “Teri, do you want to go back to dressing as Terrance or do we have an agreement?” It was the next day that I observed Hattie being out of sorts. And I heard her confess to my mother that she too had her monthly visitor.

That made our photo shoot in Chicago more difficult for Attie and gave me two-thirds of the work if it hit her hard. Mom insisted that Hattie had gone through this before and was always diligent to make sure that her photo sessions went well. Getting three thousand dollars for the shoot was supposed to make it more agreeable. Hattie complained that she deserved a larger portion of the compensation if that were the case.

My suggestion that I was doing nearly twice the number of photo shoots was called insensitive. That night she suggested privately, “I suggest you sleep with Riley the photographer as he wants and experience the pain in the butt you can be.”

Though the time might soon be becoming it would not be tonight nor with Riley. Hattie smiled as she knew sex was something I had been considering. If it happened soon it would be sometime we were with Leah in Indianapolis.

My counselor knew of the growing likelihood but felt counselor patient confidentiality prevented her from saying anything without my permission.

Being pragmatic as Patti could be she suggested Attie and Teri visit our sister and for me to see Troy. She said, “We might as well get the mystery over with and see how much you enjoy a boy who has caught your attention.”

My date with him would be on the ninth; we agreed to go to a movie and sneak out before the credits were rolling. Several kisses and hugs put me in the mood to experience more. Fortunately, Troy’s room was just inside the stairway on the second floor of his dorm.

I had not expected Troy’s suggestion of oral sex, but doing that before he had sound logic to me. I was thankful the lights were out and the thought of me having him prepared me some already.

First kissing or touching him was the hardest, no pun intended. He was being cordial in his encouragement. When he nicely suggested I didn’t need to do him. It had the opposite effect increasing my desire to do it. Having refreshed my lipstick, aided the feeling I experienced as I began to take him.

Fortunately or whatever one might say, he was easily excited and it did not take long to get him to come. He gave me a cola to clear my mouth and throat before we would kiss again.

He seemed experienced using a gel to help ease his penetrating me. I wrongly thought this would all be fun. He didn’t use enough get and I wasn’t expecting how hard he had to push himself into me. Feeling him finally force himself into me; made me think that he had grown since the time I took him the other way.

The more he moved the movement made my pain give way to warm feelings and I felt an emotional explosion before he exploded into me. I never felt such joy as I did at that moment. He kept thrusting and the heat in me grew until we were both amazingly ecstatic.

Troy continued to kiss and be romantic with me even after he was just lying on me. I was happy for the experience and happy we were done. Troy, however, didn’t see it the same. The time wasn’t long before he wanted to have me the second time. The idea of a second time was enjoyable enough. His having me did not start with as much pain. Unfortunately the third was not comfortable and the soreness stayed.

But I had learned how to please him and for us to take our time in the building up to the climax. It was also then that I began to love his warm moist lips and the power his kiss had. I was sure I was special to him. Every part of me was happy and trying to return the love I was feeling.

We showered together and I enjoyed feeling him with me and his affections. Then I left a sadness came over me. I felt some shame and thought I couldn’t share what had happened.

When was she back with Leah, before Hattie was there, Leah was hurt that I wasn’t sharing what had happened. It was only after she jumped to a conclusion. That I told her, “Troy had not been rough or hit me. I just felt ashamed of having sex with him. All I say is we went further than just kissing.”

Leah smiled as she took hold of both of my hands, “Don’t feel bad Teri. Do you feel guilty because it was so good?”

“Yes, but it also began to feel worse,” I told her.

“You two did it more than once,” she asked? “I can only imagine how that hurt you. It can be hard enough on Hattie or me when we’re tight. If you’re sore in the morning, don’t be rushing home or momma will be asking more questions than you want to answer. But you shouldn’t feel ashamed…”

Leah stopped her conversation and looked passed me. I was sure Hattie couldn’t be back already. But Hattie asked, “Did you make out with Troy? Did you enjoy it?”

We talked and in a new way as I felt even more like one of the sisters. It wasn’t the sex per se but how Leah and Hattie were open and talked with me about girl things. I wasn’t ready to tell my parents but I probably moved two steps closer to being Teri full-time.

Leah woke me up in the morning saying “Here drink this glass of water and take these two aspirin pills.” I didn’t argue but didn’t understand. That was until I got up to take my shower and I was sore. She suggested, “Use this antibacterial soap and then use the ointment after you dry off.”

Going to the toilet and getting into the shower was an experience that I will not soon forget. Leah had someone early to talk with but told Hattie and me to go get breakfast before we packed and went home. Hattie told me I could have been worse as she had seen girls who walked funny the day after.

We went to a women’s basketball game at 1:00 p.m. Somehow Leah had gotten us front row seats opposite of the team. A few team members and others said hello as they recognized us. It was a good feeling.

They won the game over another good team by seven points. Before they left the court Connie and Akayla came over and asked if we would visit children at the hospital after they changed. There was actually four of them that went plus us.

Leah must have known beforehand because we had six of our blouses with Attie and Teri on them to give away.

Troy had called me while we were there but I didn’t answer it. It was easier to focus on the teens and children in the hospital. We generally have some 20% off coupons to give out. Today Attie and I both scratched out the 20 and wrote in 30% initialed them to be good with items already on sale.

We were so busy that soon the end of the school year was coming upon us. It was also over a year since we first modeled and then signed as models.

Mom and dad were going to Fort Wayne with me for my regular appointments with Dr. Cheryl Woods my Psychologist and Dr. Michele Dorft my women’s doctor. I was meeting them in different appointments on Tuesday. They’ll visit Thursday with each other and us again on Friday.

It’s kind of a bittersweet time as I’m wanting to be Teri in going to school and my life in general. Patti is my best friend but her affection is not the same. She decided a month ago that I needed time to grow as Teri. She said, “I need some space to learn about being Teri’s friend. I can tell you have changed about how you see boys. I know you try to act like you don’t, around me. That is not being honest with me. I have decided to go to the prom with our friend Steve.”

I had been asked by Glen Dalton to go to the prom which surprised me. I like him enough but hadn’t accepted yet. After Patti told me about her and Steve. I let Glen know I wanted to go on a date and have a week together when we’re at school.

Glen was a new student at our school just this year. He was happy when he heard that I was finishing the school year as Teri. He said to me, “You being a boy or girl is a big problem for me. But I do want us to be going to the Prom as boy and girl.”

All this came about early May, my first appointments with each doctor hit a bump that troubled me. I was not expecting my women’s doctor, Dr. Michele to realize I had been sexually active with a boy. She was even more upset that I didn’t use protection. My joke that I didn’t get pregnant only made her angrier. “Teri, it wasn’t that you recently had sex with another boy. I was expecting that to happen sooner or later.

“But 1) you need to be open and honest with me about things like this. 2) If you were too embarrassed to get the protection yourself. You should have been able to ask your older sister as your agent or communicated with my office for our help. There is also Planned Parenthood and other groups including women’s centers.”

Once I got past having my ego dampened I humbly realized I had been foolish and taken poor risks. She also told me, “I’d be very surprised that your parents, your mother especially didn’t realize something happened. She may or may not have figured what it was. You need to find a way to acknowledge it with her and them.”

“You missed your last two appointments and tests show your testosterone blocker has been in effect too long upsetting your ability to make the hormone at a normal level for a boy. We messaged you it that it was important to reschedule them. We even sent a letter to your home about problems that could cause.

Anything I’m willing to approve now will be based on us having written agreements that you will take greater responsibility for. You are not eighteen and I am your doctor.”

With that and some more said, Dr. Michele relaxed and talked to me as a doctor who was my aunt. My eyes were tear-swollen because my words should have meant nothing to her. However, she dared to trust me again. “You are acting like a number of teenage girls I see. You think you’re unique, but even someone with some your notoriety is no exception when it comes to your medical health. Please, you need to trust me and be honest with me from now on.”

Ms. Woods, I have seen more regularly. It was not until the end of my appointment did she confess that in setting up the times to meet with Dr. Michele Dorft that she found out about my missing appointments with her.

She was happy that I had told her about having sex with a boy the previous appointment. But when she had asked about taking precautions, I had lied to her. She said, she had expected that possibility but was happy that I came honestly. I realized even for a transgender-girl. Dr. Woods saw what I was going through to be quite normal. “Your ego for someone coping with fame wants to rush your maturing. Your life in some ways requires it as you are a rising star and more is being expected of you. You’re no longer a person growing up isolated in a small town in Indiana.”

“If you are open to it, I want to bring your mother in here and for us to update her about where you are. Come the end of the week she would need to be in agreement of us approving you becoming a female via the introduction of a hormone replacement therapy.” She pauses and asks, “I understand that you have in fact been in the past five months dressed as Teri when you’re at school more than your male persona?” I explained, why and confirmed it was true.

Mom and my father had come in to meet with us. My Dad had often planned to come, but several times before had excuses why he did not. He wasn’t there when we arrived nor when I was called back for my appointment. Talking to both of them became harder in coming honestly with what I had done. I was sure my father was going to be furious with my having sex with Troy.

Neither of my parents was pleased, but my mother, in fact, knew something had happened. She even confirmed it with Leah and Hattie, but neither one told her what happened. My Mom and then my parents figure whatever it was; I dealt with any trauma it caused me.

My father and I talked Thursday night before my conference meeting with the two doctors. “Teri, I’m expecting there is a good possibility that you will be getting shots and talking seriously about female issues. I wouldn’t intrude into such a time for your sisters…” Dad was now unable to put his thoughts into words. And we agreed I would go to the appointment without him. He even approved Leah and Hattie to be there and understood why they could be helpful. I know he’d rather see me stay as Terry and just be Teri Slade for modeling. However, as he said the handwriting has indicated for half a year that was not likely. The hard part for Dad was this was made that certain.

I knew part of the time on Friday I needed to sit through sermons from the doctors and my mother about needing to be open and honest with what I did. I also needed to be committed to abiding with whatever I agreed too with my doctors. One surprise was that Leah said she was going to act tougher on me as Hattie and my agent.

I was to declare come Monday that for the rest of the school year and forward I’m to be a girl. And when documents were presented I saw my formal name was to be Teresa June Carsten.

Two nights earlier my parents were talking about my new name. I protested having June for my middle name. June Constance Fox was my great grandmother. She was alive when Hattie and I were born, but died when we were only three years old. I didn’t have anything against my great-grandmother. Leah remembered her saying, “You would have loved her as much as she loved you two. She was a lot of fun and very active.” Unfortunately, my great-grand died in an accident caused by a drunk driver. The story was while Grandpa was an old seventy-two, Grams was a young and active sixty-three. Going by how active my Grandmother is; I could easily understand that. I could even see the emotions welling up in Leah as she told of her.

I gave Leah a hug, “You must have been very close to Grams June?” Leah perked up and looked at me, “How did you know to call her Grams June?” I didn’t really, yet it did seem to be like I kind of remembered. I was insisting Mom give me a cool name and then suddenly I knew better, but it was too late especially for Hattie.

“You ingrate, how dare you! That is something you didn’t learn from following me and my girlfriends. I don’t know if I want to be modeling with you. Mom, I don’t know her!” With that, Hattie turned and tried to leave but Leah and Mom blocked her way.

“Calm down young lady, I can appreciate you being upset…”

“Upset!!”

It was Mom then interrupting Hattie, “I think your sister has something you need to hear.”

“I’m sorry Hattie, Mom, Leah, and your doctors. I realized with Leah’s story that Grams is someone neat to be named after. With you Hattie, I’m not comfortable seen as following you and your friends, It doesn’t matter how much I do, it’s what I don’t do right that gets pinned to me. Please accept my apology, but I’m growing.

“Hattie like it or not I’m Teri. I hope Leah keeps us modeling together until you like me again.”

Dr. Woods and Dr. Michele Dorft agreed with me transitioning to be Teri June. I had to return to Michele’s office later to receive my first shot.

Despite being sore from my first shots, Mom and Dad celebrated the occasion of their new daughter with a dinner out. Ms. Briggs was even there.

Saturday, Hattie and I were out looking for prom dresses. We could have special ones sent to us with all the proper measurements. We decided this time we’re going to be two ordinary girls. It was late enough that we didn’t have as many dresses to pick from. I would have chosen Hattie’s gown if she hadn’t. It was pink with two shades of blue accents.

I had decided on a red gown but changed my mind when Pattie came holding this yellow and white gown with silver sequins. Patti said, “Ms. Briggs kept this one aside for me. Actually, for you and I want to see what you think of it. I like it, but it doesn’t mean you will.” I, in fact, fell in love with the beautiful gown. Ms. Briggs has set it aside early at Patti’s request.

I am having many times with mixed emotions. I still have feelings for Patti and I’m hoping she still does for me. I’m wanting to be Teri, but also Terry. It’s hard when I realize I’m not in control as much as I keep convincing myself…

Story to be continued…

It was a Friday before Mother’s Day that Glen decided to take me out. We went to an old fashion dinner up near the interstate and would go to a newly opened amusement area. It had a lot of different activities to choose from. The best part to my thinking we could do a number of things together as Glen’s purchase allowed a dozen activities; more than we’d be able to squeeze into an evening.

The dinner was simple and good. Glen had a good old-fashion quarter pound cheeseburger and fries. Needing soon to squeeze into my prom dress as well as summer fashions for magazine photo shoots. My dinner was a grilled chicken sandwich and a salad with a little fat-free dressing and iced tea.

I wasn’t expecting anything special between Glen and me, but we found it easy to talk. He had gone online and seen some of my modeling photos and others with friends from school. Glen had played soccer as well as been in the chorus. His real joy was working with sound equipment for bands and stage performances including plays.

Once at the fun center, we both agreed to play a golfing simulator. We’d tee off to play nine holes of golf. It was my first time swinging a golf club as Teri. The game and swing aren’t quite the same wearing a bra and trying to swing through with my boobs. Even wearing a modest B cup bra, my swing had my shot off. Once I missed the ball completely and the next shot dribbled off the tee.

Being almost six inches taller Glen’s arms coming around me to show me how to drive through the ball was doable and fun. Glen half laughed when he asked, “Does being a girl change your swing?”

I played ignorantly and asked, “What do you mean, what could be different?”

He stuttered and finally said, “Well, between when you were Terrance and now Teri, your body is different?”

I became shy and innocent asking, “How, I’m still the same person. What changes would be different? Do you think I’ve been changing?”

Another girl close by, “Teri are you going to tease your boyfriend or enjoy the game?” She said, “Buddy how much girl she is might be questioned, but your girlfriend has no problem in twisting you around her pinky.” Glen let out a laugh and agreed, as he told me to just hit it and play on.

I gave him a peck on the corner of his mouth and then I finally hit the ball and drove it about 120 yards with a small slice to the right. We stopped that after three holes. I used five of our coins to give him time in a batting cage. It was his third swing and a change of language before he hit the ball. But after that, he hit well better than fifty percent of the pitches.

When he tried kissing me in saying thanks, I questioned him. “You’re going to kiss me with that foul mouth?”

Glen smiled, “Haven’t you ever lost your cool when your modeling, maybe a heal broke or you tripped?”

I said, “Actually when I’m modeling, I’m least likely to lose my cool. I have been known to curse riding away.” I giggle and bump into him as I lose it a little. He holds me as I hug him around his mid-section. I like that he’s in shape.

It was eleven when he got me home and walked me up to my house. I was going to ask him to step in and meet one of my parents if they were up. But before I could he started to say goodnight and things like having a good time and kissing me. I waited until after the kiss to invite him in.

“I thought, you might want to get rid of me,” he said.

“Well, I’d rather introduce you as the guy who’s taking me to the prom. Maybe one of them will want to ask about the lipstick you’re wearing on your cheek?” He asked where about the lipstick as I pulled him into the house. I showed him a small mirror and as he looked into it. I kissed him with a juicy kiss saying, “There!”

Mom came into the kitchen asking, “So how was your night?” She was surprised to see Glenn. She turned back to me, “Teri, I am guessing you had a good time; could it have waited for you to introduce him.”

“He saw me to the door Mom, and something caused me to pull him into the house unannounced.”

“I’m Mrs. Carsten, Glen. I must say my daughter isn’t easily impressed. She must be liking you more than she anticipated. This is the kind of thing she does when she’s flustered.” I steam as mortification sets in.

Glen says, “I was confused when she pulled me into your house without warning me. I’m just hoping I’m not in trouble.”

Mom said, “If she had a problem with you, you would have known it directly from her. You’re not in trouble with us. Please be seated and what can I get for you to drink? You name it, I’ve probably had it or something close. Teri, you want your vitamin water or just water.”

Once Mom gets us things to drink, she says, “It is nice to meet you, Glen. I suspect you’d like me to leave you alone. Please don’t stay up too late. I’m sure he’s expected home sometime and you need to be up at a reasonable time in the morning.”

Mom walks out of the room and I excuse myself and walk out after her. “Mom, I’m not sure what to do. I couldn’t get myself to say good-bye even though it was a nice kiss. But now I’m not sure what to do?”

Mom says, “Leah did that once, I don’t know what she did but they weren’t there too long.”

We hear Leah speak up from the shadow of the hall, “I hugged the stuffing’s out of him, gave a great kiss and flattered him. After that, I didn’t need to explain anything. Now get back there and don’t leave him alone.”

I did my version of what she said, and after he was finished his drink he was soon on his way home. Hattie came home in time to see him come out of the house.

Once we were all in the house, I got teased by what I had done. It ended with Hattie and me in her room talking. She teased, “And you said you’d never like boys like that.”

“Maybe, but how was I to know, there was a change coming.”

Saturday morning I needed to get the accessories I needed like new shoes or a current pair dyed. I arrange for a salon appointment and Hattie helped me figure out jewelry and stockings.

Patti called, wanting to go to a mall. We didn’t need anything in particular but four of us wanted to just go look and try on clothes. We didn’t expect to buy anything but we each bought a couple of things we like. I sometimes feel awkward around Patti but it helps to just do things and see her as my friend.

Mom finally texts me to come home. Dad was taking my sisters to dinner, while Mom was taking me out alone for some reason. I guess she had already talked to Hattie as our modeling group is wanting us to look more mature and daring. They also wanted to push the mystique of whether I’m a boy or girl, even letting out rumors that I’m a boy transitioning to a girl.

“Mom, I am, but it doesn’t mean I want to be under the lights of the tabloids at every turn. I want to be left alone to make the transition in my time. I’m sure guys like Glen don’t want the camera and eyes of others hounding us. You know some of it could be ugly and hurtful.”

Mom said, “I pushed them off until after the school year is over. I even threatened to say the two of you didn’t need to model if things get bad for you.”

“Mom, Maggie Briggs and Jan warned us this was coming sooner or later. Attie really loves modeling; I’m sure she doesn’t want to stop. She and I even imagine things like this when we were young.”

Mom asks, “You imagined, you’d turn into a girl?”

“No Mom, we imagine being famous models and people would follow and annoy us like they do the stars.” I pause and think. The truth was most of the time we did the pretending, we saw us both as female supermodels. I like the imagining but as far as I remembered there was no talk about me being a real girl. It was all pretending.

I was more fascinated, watching Hattie as the school year was winding down. She played softball, though our sponsors didn’t like it. I liked watching her play and little girls and bigger boys watching as she moved. I’m trying to be like her as another girl, yet be different and definitely not her shadow.

I became a better student like her. I was actually doing better in the business and finance class at the college. She was taking another class; surprisingly it was me helping her more often than not.

When it came time for the prom I was again flustered as a girl. Glen and I dated again and my feelings around him only grew stronger. My breast nipples and other areas became excited and got hot. My body was changing enough to begin showing. I liked how the small change to my hips and bottom made we look much more feminine in my gown.

When I tried it on again, I was afraid Briggs was going to say I needed it altered some more. She smiled and just said, “Poor Glen, I’m not sure he can handle a girl like you. You’re a fashion plate. He’s no beast but you’ll actually look beautiful.” It was interesting as a model that was said about Attie, but rarely about me. I’ve finally learned how to do my makeup well and move like a regular girl.

My gown had a bra support shaped into it. Thus I wasn’t wearing a bra with it. I’m sure Glen’s parents noticed, but I’m not sure his mother liked how I looked the same way as his father. She was nice enough, but a little bit colder to me than I expected.

Ironically Glenn was having a good season playing baseball and helping the team. He was now being admired as being one of the team and from our school. It can take a long time for new people to be accepted into the community. He hit a home run the night before to help beat our arch rival, who were usually conference champs.

Come prom day, I’m at the salon with some of the most popular seniors. I enjoyed being part of the girl chatter. But it’s me not feeling fully accepted. Yes, I grew up going to this school, but this is the first year I’m a girl. Two girls reminded me of the fact, one not so subtly.

Patti was going to defend me, but I stopped her and just let the remark die its own death. I chalked it up as another time I was growing up and taking on my own responsibilities.

My hair was nicely set with plenty of curls, my fingers look exquisite and when I’m finally in my heels having pictures taken I’m prettier than ever. I saw other girls that were as beautiful if not more so than me or Hattie, but I treasured being on Glens’ arm.

I wondered how many other girls were as happy as I was that I could dance backward without tripping. I had a wrist corsage that Glen bought me. And I carried a long stem rose to cradle it like a scepter. I checked my phone at the prom and my mom and Glen’s ma already had posted our pictures. I’m surprised even a few of our fan groups are reposting the pictures marking like.

When our dates went out for fresh air, Patti and I danced once before we went out to be with them. Coming back in we needed to use a restroom to freshen up. There were two photographers that people hadn’t recognized. I worried about them creating an incident. I talked with Hattie and Patti, but it was Connie a senior girl that helped my decision most. “You’re a girl do what you regularly do at school. If it’s a problem with someone the worst that could happen would be some of us would apologize. It’s our prom too, don’t worry.”

I guess one of them took a picture of me going in, but it wasn’t to cause a problem. It was part of our people not letting us know they were there. Needless to say, we gave them a hard time and there was an anonymous donation to the school as compensation.

Me, I spent hours the next few days after the prom checking my pictures and Hattie’s and our friends. I could come home after talking with others and get a text or call and start talking all over again. I knew I hassled my sisters about the same thing. I would sit cuddled with Glen at his house, taking him through picture after picture. I knew he wasn’t interested as much as I but his hand went under my blouse now and then. Once after his mother passed through the living room where we were; I asked if she ever said anything about my braless gown.

He chuckled, “Before or after all the nice compliments came in on how beautiful her son’s date was? My brother Dean told me not to get upset with our Mom eventually she likes the girl and says she always did. My sister back in Colorado says she had it worse that no one was ever good enough for our father or our mother.”

“Speaking of that my sister wonders if you ever model out there or do a photo shoot with the Rockies as a backdrop?”

I said they are looking for a good place to do photos for the winter fashions that would probably be a good location. It was decided two weeks later to do it, but by then Glen and I were old news. He met a girl who was going to the same college come fall.

Glen was smart enough to not to say anything until after his graduation party. He told me two days after. I was upset and also felt like a jerk for liking him so much. Dr. Woods let me waste a whole session bemoaning what happened. Before we closed our session she got me to admit, ‘He wasn’t my forever love’, but I acknowledged, ‘Glen helped me realize I could love a boy.’ I argued that Troy did that. We kind of agreed that was more sex than love, not to discount sex.

Attie and Teri Slade would be going to Colorado to model winter fashions outside on mountain tops and along the continental divide. Independence Pass east of Aspen as well as in Rocky Mountain National Park. It was early July and finding snow covered areas was no problem. The evening and nights we even got to wear some of the fashions out on the town.

If the setting wasn’t beautiful enough my sisters and I were introduced to the music of the dead singer, John Denver and his songs of the Rocky Mountains, the Aspen trees, and Aspen the town that decorated the scenery there so well.

One night we spent a night out near a timberline lake engulfed in the midnight sky another night we up late on Independence Pass. The stars felt almost close enough to touch and falling stars, small pieces of comets, was bright enough to give the feeling of a fire in the sky. I wasn’t big on poetry but becoming a girl and having the experiences I’m becoming a romantic and sense things as vivid images.

Upon the mountain or down in the villages we got many invitations from guys to help keep us warm. Funny enough Hattie and I felt safe and good cuddled up with women on our crew when we were up on the mountain. Roscoe joke, “Hey, I would have dressed as a woman, if I knew it was the way to your heart.”

He didn’t know it, but Hattie and I both imagined him fitting into different size 12 outfits. He wasn’t much older in his twenties and his face still had a fair complexion and his hair was a long, curly dirty blonde. The last full day we had given Roscoe a whole outfit including ankle high boots to wear to our farewell party. Roscoe showed up a little late, wearing the outfit we got him. Jesse his girlfriend helped him; making him into a plausible woman. Jesse, Rose now and we spent part of the evening enjoying one another’s company. Jesse thanked us, saying, “You don’t know this but your being here helped Roscoe to show more of his tender side while you were here. I even got him a nice nightie that I hope to enjoy him wearing tonight.”

Our parents were along making the time a vacation for them. It was nice for all of us as they stayed to their own with older adults. We got to be more with a college-age crowd. We swore that we’d be back for more modeling excursions for fall, spring and summer fashions. That transpired over the next three years.

Our work in Colorado went all too quickly; the only saving grace was we were going to Sweden, Scotland, and London for fifteen days in August. Each place we worked some and vacationed. It was surprising to me that famous people there would send us invitations to dine with them, even once to stay in a small castle.

When we were up in Sweden modeling outfits out in the snow with bright green pine trees in the background when I fell. Being stubborn and having a wet panty from having fallen in the damp snow, made the last two hours of our photo shoot less comfortable for me. The irony to me as I heard of similar occasions about girls when I was growing up. It seemed to me they were just being pansies. Now being a girl, I find things are not what I thought. I’m expected to grin and bear it because some cocky photographer doesn’t want to change his schedule.

It is nice that in Sweden most everyone speaks English well. The Swedish accent, the Scottish brogue and the difference in England’s English were all amusing to us as we were to them. Attie and I got to wear and model Scottish kilts as well as English tweeds and the colorful wool fashions of the Swedes. It was our biggest excursion where we got to model for clothing firms there. I guess there is a prestige their media and fashion people get in having someone from the Americas in their promos.

I fell in love with two Scottish kilts and ended up buying and wearing one outfit I loved and bought. Along with the kilt, I purchased two beautiful satin blouses, a sash and bonnet or cap of the same plaid. I got the other kilt outfit in mini-skirt fashion as part of my compensation for modeling. We spent a few nights out in a remote village on the west coast of Scotland.

Most places Attie and I got to drink small glasses of ale or a Scotch whiskey. That would quickly warm my innards but with a good meal, I found I could even handle a second glass. Boys our age were usually afraid to talk to us or several needed a large mug of beer before they worked up their courage to ask.

Finally, Attie and I asked some boys why they weren’t talking to us. They were scared we’d think them too young. One boy the next morning went catching lobsters with his dad and had invited us to his folks for a lobster dinner. When he was forward with me his Mom took him out of the room and I heard her telling him he needed to go to church and be forgiven. Thomas and I went for a walk with Sean and Attie. Thomas was surprised when I told him that I still had parts like a boy. I guess when his mom had told him I was a girl of the world that was part of what she was trying to tell him.

Our Mom being a teacher and having the summer off, enjoyed the side trips immensely. She’d pick up teaching packets at many of the stops. Museums and hostels we good sources to find those that would be great for her fourth graders.

If we continued at modeling and remained good she wouldn’t need to work. Sometimes it was challenging for her trying to be with us as much as she did. We liked occasional times without her, but things went much smoother having her along.

London made us feel like we made it big time but we knew our modeling, be it on the runway, or in front of the cameras, were not yet major shows. We were able to attend one such show and gala, where the models were world class. Seeing them strut their stuff sparked us to want to be better to get where they were.

We bumped into Liya from Ethiopia in the hotel we stayed at and got to speak to her and Anita at a dinner. A photographer asked for a photo of us with them, which they agreed to. Someone asked them what they thought our chances as models were. Attie and I held our breath because we knew they didn’t know us from Adam. Liya was having difficulty saying anything. Anita from Britain finally said, “Attie and Teri have a natural talent. They just need more time to gain the experience and a bit more professionalism. They have already found their niche and make a good show of it.”

Liya said, “We’ll be watching out for them.”

When we were asked, Attie said, “We’re not near their class but we dream and watch to learn. They’re some of the best we’ve ever seen.”

Anita leaned to me and whispered, “A birdie told me you’re transitioning.” We talked and she told me growing up she felt she was in her sister’s shadow. Her advice, “Don’t compete with your sister, just do your thing making it yours…”

When we got to our room at the end of the next day. There came a bouquet and it was signed Liya and Anita with Love. Attie asked, “Do you think they really did that or it was an agent or someone else?”

“The way Anita spoke up for us to the photographer and the guy asking the questions. I think we assume it was them. I kind of doubt they have the same agent or PR person.”

We’re packing up to return to the states when mom comes in to check on us and remarks about the flowers. “Don’t you think that was really nice of those models, sending you flowers? They asked if you would think it was a waste to get them at this point in your trip.” Mom told them to us they were above rock stars.

She said, “You impressed Liya. She had been told all American teens were spoiled. And from what she saw of so many tourists, she seemed to think it true.”

I moaned, “Mom tells me you didn’t tell her we are spoiled please.”

Mom said, “You’ve been more spoiled being models. But no I wouldn’t have told them that even if you were acting it at the time… If it’s not hot out tomorrow, Liya would like to see one of you in a kilt tomorrow.”

Hattie said, “Maybe we should change quick and go tonight.” We both jumped up and ran to our room to change. Mom was saying, no. But we continued to change into our outfits hoping for the best. I put on my mini kilt and Attie hiked hers up and brought her blouse down over it.

Mom came into check on us, saying, “I know you heard me say, ‘no’. I meant it.”

We teamed up against her in a cute way, “But Mommy, there won’t be another chance like this. And I know where they’ll be at” After we didn’t let up, Mom gave in. We had to wait for her to change. She was sure we wouldn’t have been let in without her. Luckily we also took one of our flyers. The doorman wasn’t going to let us in, even with Mom. It was the flyer that confirmed who we were.

We expect Anita and Liya were forewarned of our being at the door and we were approved to go in with a proviso. “You can go it, but you’re not to make pests of yourself. Remember this is an adult place. Don’t go in if you can’t handle it and no pictures.”

We had trouble finding them in the crowd. Liya was actually looking for us, or we might not have. They weren’t wearing anything special. Hoping by dressing casually they’d not draw added attention to themselves. It was neat to show our outfits to them. Liya grabbed the bottom of my skirt to feel the texture of the material.

They had friends with them and we knew not to take a lot of time with them. But we were asked to sit down when we tried to walk away. They introduced us to Gisele asking if we were friends in America. I think Gisele was embarrassed as she did not recognize us or our names. She did, in fact, know of us, but as she said there were way too many people to remember.

We were once again asked by some who was the boy who’s so convincing. Gisele guessed I was the boy, but wouldn’t tell how I gave it away. We gracefully left and were complimented for not taking photos. I said as we left, “It wasn’t that we were sorely tempted… it was so nice to see them relaxed and enjoying themselves. It was even more so than at the dinner.” Liya’s shirt dress was so short my eyes kept darting back to her.

Mom asked, “Is Gisele related to someone else famous. It seems that I heard her name somewhere else.”

“Dah Mom, Tom Brady’s her husband.” Attie says, “Knowing you Mom, you probably know her for her social caring. You’ve also seen a younger poster of her in our room.”

We touched down in the US at a New York City airport and the next day to Indianapolis and then home.

I hadn’t heard from Patti the last three days and we soon found out why. She had been in a bad car accident…

It’s very disturbing to all of them hearing Patti’s in the hospital recovering from a car accident, but it cuts Teri straight to the heart. She just dumped her luggage at home and headed for the hospital. All she knew was that Patti was hurt, staying in the hospital and no one would tell her what happened. Seemingly Patti was waiting for Teri but was also worried about her return.

Madison, Patti’s younger sister, was waiting down near the hospital entrance and met Teri as soon as she came in the main entrance. “I want you to know it’s not as bad as it may look. She’ll be a little groggy as she’s just coming out of being heavily sedated.” It scared me more by what she said and taking me to the Intensive Care Unit.

Mrs. Draper welcomed me with a hug and Mr. Draper with a less than warm glare. Her parents are divorced and this was the first Mr. Draper and I saw each other in years. With a smile his sarcasm didn’t amuse me, he said, “You’re modeling becomes your new look I guess.”

I sat down in the waiting area as they told me, Patti had been coming back from a date when others drove through a stop sign and hit the passenger’s side of the car. The others had a heavy-duty four-wheel-drive vehicle that crunched in the side of their vehicle. It broke the big bone in Patti’s leg in two places and her head hit the side of the door window and/or the person’s bumper. And it pushed her over to Chuck. Chuck was bruised with pieces of glass in his hair which caused more bleeding than injury.

Patti suffered a concussion, a terribly bruised arm, sprained wrist, and several cuts or gashes. Once she was conscious and they knew her brain wasn’t bleeding, they sedated her. It was so she wouldn’t thrash or pull at tubes or try to get herself out of bed.

When it came time for a limited number of people to go in, I was allowed to be one of them. I had to wash really well and have a face mask and gloves on. I wasn’t ready for the small cubicle filled with the bed, tubes, and machines everywhere. Tubes and wires were hooked up to her; she was looking at a nurse when we walked in.

Patti had mixed feelings hearing her mother say I was here. I tried reaching for her hand, but she drew it back saying, “I don’t want you seeing me like this.” I could tell by her speech she was either just waking up or having trouble speaking.

“What are best friends for if we can’t be there for each other? I’m glad to see you and know you’re going to get well.”

Patti said, “Thanks, but cut that baloney or I’ll tell you where to stick it.”

Her Mom was surprised to hear her speak like that. Her Dad said, “I guess you’re not as important as you think, miss whoever.”

Patti turns to her father saying, “Shut up, Teri’s been here plenty of times for me. That’s better than…” She stops herself from saying more. The nurse says, “If you’re going to upset her I will have you all leave.”

Patti is now letting me hold a hand and reaches to her mom as well. Patti asks the nurse, “Could my friend give me a hug or kiss?”

Once given permission we do both and Patti wants my face to continue to show. Her mom is talking to the nurse and is happy with what she is hearing. A doctor comes in with her nurse. “Is this your friend Teri that you’ve been waiting for?” Dr. Martha extends her hand in greeting me. I can’t help but wonder if she’s a little young to give Patti all the help she’ll need.

Dr. Martha Langley comes out and asks, “Well do I measure up? …I’m thirty-seven, a capable surgeon, but some think I look like I’m twenty-something and too young to evoke confidence.”

I said, “Yes, I’ve seen that in more than one profession when a woman looks young and attractive. I might be jealous that some have more than their share of gifts. But with Patti, I am very happy and apologize if I came off as being so rude.”

She says, “Don’t worry, I’m glad you’re here. But I’m wondering if you will be around enough or willing to be of help to Patti?” The doctor explained, “Last night when we started to bring her off her sedation medicine. Your name came up several times. She must see you as an important person to her. I don’t want to say more as she has a boyfriend who might be jealous of you.”

The doctor continued, “But he won’t be there for her in ways you can. She says, "You have the understanding and give her a lot of personal attention.”

Patti speaks up, “You can’t just spring this on Teri. She just got here and we haven’t visited. I thought I was going to be the one who asked her.”

Doctor Marti apologizes, “I’m sorry but I need to go to the other hospital. I wanted to know some things as you could be going home as early as two days from now.” The doctor changed her plans and would give us time to visit and return to this hospital later if I was willing to stay.

I feel out of my element, wondering what I could do more than sit with her, hold hands and talk. Her Dad left with the excuse of talking to the doctor. The doctor, however, turned one way. He went back to the waiting area. Mrs. Draper says, “Patti’s on the healing side of things, but some of it is not pretty. Patti doesn’t want just anybody helping her, plus we’re just a week from now school starting. You two have been study partners and she now sees you like another girl.”

Patti says, “Is it okay if I pull my sheets back and let you see me and my injuries? I have a few pins holding me broken leg together. It takes a little getting used to. I think I’ve worked Mom passed you seeing my me naked and even wiping me down there. But I’m scared of asking you if you could.”

The sheets are brought back and between a long stitched area, much of the leg was badly bruised with the two pins looking more like bolts protruding from her leg.

I have mixed feelings of being repulsed and being entranced and seeing how beautiful her naked body is. I hold myself in there despite wanting to run and possibly get sick. Mrs. Draper put her arm around me, “I am impressed, dear. I know you are her best friend, but my head was whirling when I first saw as much as you see now.” She brings the sheets back covering her daughter.

We’re talking and a young resident comes in to see Patti. He asks, “So which one of the good-looking models is this?” I didn’t like his attention, especially taking his focus away from Patti. I let Mrs. Draper introduce me. I decide to keep quiet and wait until he’s gone.

Patti knew what I was thinking, and after he left she couldn’t wait to speak, “I was a little surprised that you didn’t shake your little booty for him. Didn’t he impress you? I thought you might be girl enough to enjoy a young doctor giving you attention. …With your fame, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d be willing to take you out.”

I disagreed, “I hope you’re only teasing. I thought he was rude and might have gotten crude if I led him on.” We could tell her Mom thought we’d be caught up with how cute he was.

“Mrs. Draper if he were two years older and not thinking so highly of himself. I think he would have been far more attractive. I could have enjoyed him flirting with Patti or one of her sisters.”

Patti changed the subject and asked me about my trip to Europe. She seemed especially thrilled to hear about Anita and Liya whom she had seen in fashion magazines. I had been allowed to stay in the ICU unit longer but was now being asked, “You need to go and let Patricia be cared for.”

Patti spoke up saying, “I don’t mind if she stays and sees me when you work on me?”

Nurse Mona says, “I think one or both of you would find it embarrassing if she/he stays.” Patti and I were both surprised the nurse recognized I was a boy.

Patti said, “If you’re going to do things that she may need assistance with at home. It might be good if Teri learned, or my mother will need to be doing everything. I think that would be rough on her.”

Mona says, “She has two sisters that can be helping her…”

Patti spoke up, “Not when the older one goes to college this week. My little sister, well let’s say why she’s willing I don’t want her throwing up on me. She doesn’t handle this stuff, pee, and blood very well.”

Mona says, “Well Teri if we’re going to show you how to help. Why don’t you go out and get her mother so I can show the two of you at the same time.” I left quickly to get her mother. Mona called after me, “If you have pictures you can show her it bring them in; they could help her pass time.”

I went and told her mom, she was wanted in ICU. When she learned it was the two of us. I could tell she had mixed feelings. By the time I relieved my bladder and cleaned up. I guess Mrs. Draper became comfortable with me helping. She said, “I was hoping you would help, but part of me still sees you as Terrance. Unless you were going to be a male nurse. The idea of you helping her grossed me out.” I could have told her I already had sex with her, but I decided it was best not to.

I got my iPhone from my purse and took it back in with me. We again had to wash and use the protective ware required. I was surprised they would allow me to use my phone back there. Mona said, “We will monitor our system and make sure you don’t interfere with it. I’ll even give you a code to connect you to an auxiliary channel so it can be posted on her TV screen.”

That done I showed so photos as we waited for Dr. Martha to be there. Mona acknowledged, she hadn’t believed I met either Anita or Liya. She and Patti were both taken with my photos, even those of Attie posing in her kilt and others from our London photo shoot. I had only one of me that my mother took as well as the photo of the models and Attie and me with them.

Once Dr. Martha was back, she was surprised to see me along with Patti’s mother. “I was going to pull her tube out down here, but I will wait and do that this evening or tomorrow morning.” Pattie almost screaming, pleaded for her to get it out now. “I just wanted to be nice, but we can do it now.” They scooted an extra pad under Patti’s butt and legs. The expecting a possible mess grossed me out but I tried not to show it.

Dr. Martha checks Patti completely, cleaning some healing areas and renewing the ointment being used at different places. “Patti will still have these rods in her leg another three weeks or more and be on traction all of that time. There is a way we can diminish the scars there down the road if she wants.”

Patti speaks up, “Yes, as many scars as possible.”

Finally, we’re back to the tubes: one coming out of Patti’s side, another at the major site of a leg injury and the one for her urinary tract. The one to her side caused significant hurt as it was up under her ribcage and had ridges on it. The Doctor said, “These areas will need to be monitored for seepage and infection. We’ll see tomorrow if this one needs to be packed to allow it to heal from the inside out.” The one from the leg and its surgery site came out nicely and looked great. Dr. Marti and Mona were both very pleased.

Finally, the one from the urinary tract was to be done. “If there is an infection in this area of her body this is one area that will probably show it.” With that, she pulled the tube which wasn’t very long. She showed us the tip of the tube and even had her mother and I smell it. “If it has a foul odor when you clean her. That is a problem that needs to be noted and reported.”

She looked to Nurse Mona, who said, “If you have any notion of having sex with her or to please her or yourself down there, be honest with us and say no to helping her now. An infection from such is way too risky.”

Dr. Martha says, “You still love each other don’t you?” Neither of us was not wanting to respond. We hadn’t even acknowledged it to each other in months and me for one not sure how Patti felt after we parted ways for me to go to Colorado.

Her mother being surprised, “Patti are you still…” There was something else that came to her thoughts, “Was he the one?”

Patti quickly looked at me and then away. There was a sense of shame or something negative that came over her. But she curtly answered her mother, “Yes, but no. I guess it won’t matter soon.”

Dr. Martha apologized to Patti, “I didn’t mean for that to come up.”

Patti looks to me, “You might as well know. It will impact you’re wanting to help me. …I was about two months pregnant when the accident happened. It was after the school year was over and about when you went to Colorado.”

I’m sure I know who it was and they broke up before I went to Europe. I’m very hurt. If I could, I’d have run out of the room. More than the hurt was that she acknowledged she still loved me. During my trip, I too realized how much I still loved her. Everything was confused, nothing made sense. Something held me there, I couldn’t leave.

Dr. Marti broke the atmosphere with a trite statement. “You’re taller than you were.”

I knew I looked taller but was sure I wasn’t. The mini kilt in my picture just made me look taller showing more leg. She asked, “How tall do you think you are?”

“I’m five eight, but that isn’t important right now.” I was a little annoyed that she asked.

Patti and then the doctor agreed, “No, you’re not. You’ve had a growth spurt this summer.” It was something I had wanted to hear, but today I neither believe it nor did it matter. Patti says, “Isn’t this what you were wanting to be a big-time model? You’re almost there but now you’re denying it. I know you’re upset with me and I can accept that. I hadn’t a chance to tell you.”

Mona said to me, “You must be close to five ten.”

“In two-inch heels, yes.”

Her Mom and Dr. Martha had calmed us down before the doctor asked me, “Knowing what you do, are you willing to still help her?”

I thought and then said, “Yes! I said, "I would, didn’t I? I don’t go back on my word.”

My pictures were back on the TV screen in Patti’s ICU cubicle. Mrs. Draper said, “Look, Teri, you weren't four inches shorter in these pictures than Anita and she’s all of six feet tall.”

I waited until the two pictures of me came back up. I wondered, how was it possible? I appeared at best two inches shorter than the two models. Mrs. Draper said, “You were taller when you came back from Colorado. Maybe your growth spurt finally came that you’ve been waiting for.”

Nurse Mona said, “Seeing yourself every day and being busy. Could explain why you ended up being the last to recognize the changes that took place.”

When the next visiting time was announced. I simply excused myself saying, “I’m going to let someone else come in and visit you, Patti.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek and left.

Dr. Martha saw me in the hall going out and stopped me. “I’m sorry you learned that way. She does care a lot about you. I hope someday you know that. But until then you should take time and seriously decide if you can really be here for her. If not, she might as well know soon. Then she can move on from where she is.”

I said, “I realized she didn’t owe me. I’m still a best friend and I’m willing to be there for her. I just need some fresh air.”

I see that Dr. Langley thought there was more. ‘Was it more than I should know?’ “Dr. Langley at two months the fetus wasn’t big of a deal was it, and that boyfriend was no longer. Is there more than I know or realize?”

Dr. Langley says, “I can’t speak for your friend, but for most women, the scars from a woman losing her baby can be as big as any others she might have. It was a life attached to her.” I moved next to the wall and let myself lean against it and go down to the floor. I started to weep openly for Patti and I couldn’t stop.

When I did, Dr. Langley helped me up and took me to a conference room. I started to cry again and Dr. Langley asked the obvious, “You still love her don’t you?” All I could do was to shake my head yes.

Finally, I asked if I could call my mother or sister to be here for me. I was given permission to call, hitting 09 first on a hospital phone.

After my call, Dr. Langley asked, “Did your leg joints hurt during your trip?”

I said, “Yes, they still do, but how did you guess that?”

She smiled, “It often happens when a person is undergoing a growth spurt and since it still hurts there is a good possibility that you’re not finished with this one.”

The doctor confessed to checking out fashion magazines and knew Hattie usually stayed taller than me. “You two being local, I hoped one day to meet you and I’ve followed your modeling career. I like the natural look and the leisurely style you two take to your profession. You’re thin enough but if you’re wanting to be supermodels I hope you won’t follow so many and become sickly thin. I’m not your doctor but I do hope you’ll heed my words.”

I changed the subject and asked, “What color of an evening dress don’t you have that you’d like to have?”

She said, “So far I’ve been conservative, trying to fit in. But I think I’ll get a red dress next.”

“Go to Maurice’s at the mall here and ask for Ms. Briggs. She’ll help get you what you’re looking for. It’s on me.” The Doctor laughed saying she could afford it. “What you’ve done for Patti, and me as well, it’s my treat please let me.”

When I finally left the family conference room and went back out to the waiting area. Mrs. Draper and others were asking where I had been. Stating I had left ICU over an hour ago. Mrs. Draper was worried I took the stairs down to miss talking to anyone. She was mostly afraid I was disgusted with Patti.

I noticed Mr. Draper wasn’t there, nor had he been when I came out to get my phone and Mrs. Draper before.

It hit me Patti is as intelligent as my sister Hattie and has many accomplishments, but her self-esteem and her feeling safe have always been shaky. She had a lot of anger directed at her father. She always wanted his love but was disappointed time and again because it didn’t match what she had for him.

I was glad when my mother and Leah showed up. I went walking with them and brought them in on the information about Patti. Sadly, I acknowledge what I did. I confessed, “Mom she knows that I had sex with Troy, but I treated what she did was worse because she’s a girl.”

Now, Mom’s hurt because I hadn’t told her, but I did so because now I need her support. I feel awful as I hug my Mom as she’s once again here for me. I’m wondering if I can ever be there for someone like she and others have been for me. It’s like Mom knew my thoughts. “I am impressed, young lady. Don’t beat yourself with ‘what ifs and what you see as flaws. I think you will do well in being there for Patti. I’m willing to be there to help and I think Hattie will be too.”

“Now what’s this about not knowing you grew this summer? …I picked that up in England but I was certain you realized being next to Liya and Anita you’re close to being their height. Your sister Attie has been giggly with delight while we were in London. She realized it. You bumped into another good break in meeting them and they’ve befriended you two. Even Anita was bewildered by you got getting happier to be around them. They all but invited you to Giselle’s fall gathering in New England. And all you could say was that’s for the supermodels.”

“She was glad you haven’t assumed the title of being a supermodel, but she thought you’d be more excited like Attie at the invitation.”

I said, “You mean she was serious that Giselle has invited us. I checked that would be the second week in a row that New England Patriots play an away game. Wives and other women not traveling to the game would probably enjoy not focusing on football.”

Mom says, “Let’s get back to current things. Are you serious about being there for Patti? I know you have a big heart when you put your mind to it. But you’re becoming another daughter and even more sensitive than you already were. Something like that could be emotionally hard on you. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Mom part of my therapy will be, being there for my best friend even if we’re not going to be the first love of each other. I’m afraid I crushed her feelings and then walked out on her.”

“Well,” Mom says, “the next visitors’ time you better get back in there and affirm for her that she is as important as ever. Leah or I will stay around to give you a ride home whenever needed.”

It would have been another hour before I got to see Patti, but Mrs. Draper thought I needed to be in there sooner. She had gone back, talking to Patti and the Staff. She came back out and took me back. “Patti’s afraid you’re not really out here and wanting to come in to see her. She said, "you’d be back because you are best friends like you said. She thought she hurt you too much for you to already to be back.”

I said, “I was the one who hurt her, not trusting her and knowing better than to judge her.”

I was hoping Ms. Draper would say that weren’t so, but she didn’t. She actually told me, it had torn Patti’s heart. My only joy if that is true I did not wait until tomorrow or the next day.”

Despite the getting washed and putting on all that was required to see her. The first thing I did when I went back was to start crying, asking for forgiveness and telling her I loved her. A new nurse, Nurse Tanya came in saying I needed to regain my composure. She said, “There must be times as a model you need to work hard to keep your composure. I am sure Patti is relieved you came back and care about her. Please, you need to calm down.”

It would be ten o’clock before they told me to go home and get some rest. Leah was the one who went back home early because she needed to get back to college. She would talk to us during the week and be back for a long weekend and a lot of business on Friday.

Mom and I had a good discussion on the ride home. She was happy that Patti and I were back on good terms. That Dr. Langley said I was still in my growth spurt; made mom and me both very happy.

There was a note from Leah, “You and Attie got a formal invitation from Giselle for the third Sunday in October. Giselle is asking you two to each model two outfits. You’ll both be offered $2,500, hopefully, that’s to be given back to some charities she’s supporting. You are welcome to offer a charity you both agree on.”

Hattie’s still awake and comes down to talk. “Isn’t that a big surprise? Anita text me that “We have arrived. How is Patti doing?” She knew from Leah there was a not so happy surprise, but Leah wouldn’t say anything past that. But I don’t keep secrets well from Hattie. I took the time to give her a rather long version of what happened the accident and today.

Hattie said, “Do you think there’s a chance you and her will ever get back together and marry?”

“Gees, Hattie, don’t get ahead of things?”

Its two days later and Patti’s coming home and whatever pain medication they used isn’t near strong enough to block the pain she’s having. She doesn’t know I’m here as they are setting her up in her special bed with all the ropes and gadgets and getting her into bed. I am cringing every time I hear her cry or scream. I am crying with her but in the kitchen and out of the sight of others.

I am finally allowed in the den where her bed has been set up. I’m holding her hand and she’s squeezing hard. I would like to suggest we trim her nails, but she already feels bad enough and plenty uncomfortable.

Her mother needs to go and get prescriptions, swabs and gauze pads. It will be my first time with her alone. She was a mess from the trip home as well as the tears that dried on her face. I was using a warm damp cloth to first clean her face. I lift the sheet covering the upper half of her body. Even with the injuries and bruising she still looks beautiful to me. Some crusting of blood wiped away. The gauze that packed where the tube under her rib cage had been looked nice and pink. Indicating it was healthy and without infection. Half the nicks where shattered glass cut dotting her body, cleaned up nicely. Patti said, “Some of the nurses and aids that cared for me weren’t as gentle as you are.”

Near when I was done helping to clean her up and check things as the doctor and nurse told me. Patti was getting sad and wouldn’t look me in the eye. I said, “Patti you know you need to talk about what happened. It’s okay, you’re safe now.”

Patti said, “It wasn’t the accident I was thinking about. I don’t think you’re the one to share it with. I already hurt you enough.”

“I might be the one that you really do need to talk about it with. We are supposed to be best friends and you don’t know I feel guilty too.”

She said, “You do. You really do?”

We talked and Patti knowing I had sex with Troy had gone off the pill, until near the end of school. She hadn’t allowed herself enough time for it to be properly working when she had sex again.

I had thought the miscarriage in a way worked out good for me. “Patti I wasn’t understanding all that it meant to you. I so wish I understood that's part of being a woman.”

Patti said, “You seem to understand now. It was the same way with you telling me you had sex and didn’t think it would bother me. I guess we both wanted the other to care. I know I forced myself just to be your friend, but down inside if felt way more love then I was saying.”

The past five months had a bittersweet feel to things though most things were going very well. When Mrs. Draper returned, Patti was lightly crying but it was more of a happy cry. Mrs. Draper hadn’t realized that at first and she became angry with me.

When Patti explained what happened the three of us had a healthy cry together.

The next week I’d be back to school and a retired nurse would watch Patti until her mother or I got there…

To be continued one more chapter…

The beauty of Patti was often hard to see when I was at her home taking care of her after her accident. That was especially true on the afternoons when she was ungrateful I was there. I had been helping her at home for two weeks when I exploded, “You’re ungrateful for everything people do for you gets kind of old! I’m tired of it, even if you can’t be cheerful just be nice!” Those kinds of words usually knocked Patti back into reality but not today.

She fired back, “You’d be upset too if you were in this bed. I didn’t ask for your help. Take a break if you can’t handle it.”

We threw remarks back and forth, then her younger sister came in and yell at me. “Stop being mean to my sister!” Under her breath I could hear her mutter, “It’s partly your fault.”

“What does that remark mean? I wasn’t even here.”

Madison knows she’s said too much, recovers saying, “She never stopped loving you.”

I look to Patti, mouthing, ‘What?’

Patti says, “Nothing to say now. Some time but not now.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you, Patti.” I’m not sure why, but my not understanding seems to hurt her as well. But I am also upset and angry. The understanding should be two ways. I walk out of the room saying I’m going to the bathroom. I sit and do what is needed and take time. Once back together I quietly sit with her, few words are spoken. Once her parents are home, I leave without talking to them.

I visit with my sister and then with my mother after dinner. Mom asks, “What does your intuition say it might be?”

“Just that something happened, but I can’t see how I could be responsible.”

Saturday, Hattie and I went shopping for clothes. With all the clothes and jewelry we primp ourselves with; getting clothes for school has its own special place. I constantly look around and have the reminder Patti’s not there. We’ve kind of made up or moved on. I’m going to be with the Drapers part of tomorrow and Monday. School starts on Wednesday. I bought some nice tops for Patti that she likes. She can wear them after I return from school to study with her.

Four weeks pass and I go with Patti to her appointment with her surgeon. Special transportation is needed to unhook her from the bed and all the contraptions. It is very uncomfortable for Patti, but not as bad as when she came home. I am uncomfortable waiting out in the waiting area. I’m worried when a nurse comes out to get me, but doesn’t say anything, but “The Doctor wants to visit with you.”

I meet Dr. Langley in her office not the exam room with Patti and her mother. Dr. Langley smiles at me. She gently tells me, “Patti is improving, but not as fast as we expected. Do you know anything that is upsetting her?”

“Yes and no. The second week or whenever I was with her, we were kind of arguing.” I said, “I kind of lost my cool with her because she was being hard to help and moody. I know some of that was to be expected. But that day was too much and I finally told her I was fed up with how she was acting. She said, "I didn’t understand which I admit. But she was being a royal pain in the butt no matter what I did. I thought she needed me to throw it back at her. And the argument happened. Her sister had to tell us to calm down. I left the room and things became cool.”

I put it behind me, and I kind of thought she did also. There have been some good days, but it’s still cool between us. Did I do something that I don’t know about?”

She asks me, “What bad happened to her in her accident?” The answers are obvious, but since she’s asking it means I don’t fully get it.

“Her injuries, including the loss of her baby,” I said.

Dr. Langley asks, “How old was the baby?”

“She said she had sex with her boyfriend around graduation. That made it two months old.”

Dr. Langley takes a hold of my hand. She’s seeking to be supportive and let me know she cares. I’m afraid of what she’s going to say, I’m worried about Patti. It also awakens other feelings in me. Finally, she says, “What if I told you that the fetus; she was just over three months old.”

“That would have made it May not June when she had sex. But why didn’t she tell me?” The office is filled with silence. I’m thinking and then it hits me. “No,” I cry out and begin to sob. “No, no…” I can’t quite remember things except Dr. Langley being there for me. She called for my Mom to come in. Seemingly my mother had come to be with me.

I’m calming down and Dr. Langley asks, “Do you know who she was with at that time?”

“But it couldn’t have been me. My testosterone level was down low. We made love but I bailed out when I started to burst. I even wiped it off of her.” I was now ashamed, doubly so as I was saying this with my mother there.

Dr. Langley asks, “Patti started to take the pill again around the end of school. Do you know when she had stopped taking her pills?”

I knew because we had talked. After all, I was still her best friend at least one of them. “She only stopped a few days before. But that wouldn’t matter because I bailed out. It couldn’t have been me.”

Dr. Langley asks, “How low was your testosterone level? Had they stopped taking sperm from you?” Now I’m terribly embarrassed.

I didn’t know how low the level was. I was excited that my estrogen shot was increased. I was committing to being Teri. I could barely get hard enough to be with her. I wasn’t to be able to get her pregnant. I knew my doctor said I should still practice safe sex. That’s why I pulled myself out. It wasn’t romantic but I even threw my undershirt between us.

I finally looked up to my mother as well as the doctor. “Does Patti think, I’m responsible? Does she hate me?”

Dr. Langley has a warm but faint smile, “No, she still loves you. She’s sad she didn’t tell you. Because she didn’t know. But she said there was no boy other than you before later in June.”

“She knows, you want to be Teri as she does. She also knows you want to be a model and that you can be a big one. Better than you already are.”

I’m fighting tears, sure I can get them stopped. “Can… can …is she willing to see me?” I know I can, I ask as I’m up and leaving. “Which exam room is she in?”

“The family conference room.”

Patti was awaiting me and with open arms and tears in her eyes. I’m hugging her, saying I’m sorry. When she whispers, “She was our girl. I hope you can…” Right then I burst into new tears as I’m feeling much more than I’ve ever embraced before. This is one of those times I can look deep into her eyes, we’re looking at each other. We both want to talk but no words are adequate. Holding each other and sometimes our mothers are embracing us.

I didn’t know who said it, “You again have each other.” It didn’t diminish our pain nor make things alright.

Patti says, “Thanks to whoever said that.” I agreed with Patti. No one acknowledges saying it, though we both heard it.

It was another two weeks that Dr. Langley had taken another scan that showed good healing. Pattie was off traction and getting therapy first to her leg in bed and then standing with support for the leg not bearing much weight.

Patti was anxious while Attie and Teri Slade were at the fashion fundraiser we were invited to in Boston. We were visiting at one gathering when an aesthetician named Allie says, “Someone very good has worked with you to get your skin looking so close to your sister’s.”

We found a seat and we sat down to visit. Allie was probably in her thirties. She said she had children. But I’m thinking she can’t be. I love her complexion.

Attie and I had each received a women's cloth satchel as attendees. Allie asks if she can show me something in mine. Then asks permission for her to try it on me. “Here I’ll use my own but you see and have what I’m using. When you’re under lights for the day this is especially helpful.”

She uses a drop on my two fingers anointing my face with it. I am not knowledgeable to know what I’m feeling but I love her touch, the faint fragrance, and how it disappears on my skin. She tells me there is a nutrient that the skin of models generally loses and doesn’t replace. Ready to go our separate ways, she asks, “How does it feel to be arriving at this level?”

Lisa from Belk checks with me. “You are getting noticed and tomorrow they will be enjoying you as a model on a big stage. Gi is doing you a great honor in being the first to greet your sister and you.”

The time is 75% social and all the guests feel pampered. If not it is their fault. Gi our host makes the rounds but has others handling announcements or sharing information about tomorrow. There is also a brunch is scheduled for Sunday before finishing the fundraiser.

Once I step out to check on Patti and a woman notices me. She refers to my checking with Patti as quaint. It only serves to remind me what’s really important. I find Attie and share what happened. Attie hugs me, “What’s important for us is what matters.” She hooks my hand on her arm and guides me back into the room and crowd.

Several pictures are taken of us some with flashes, many without. We meet Anita and Liya again and are invited to breakfast with them. We’re told it’s a special gathering not to be missed. Anita asks, “Is it alright if we receive some credit for you being here? It helps with some if others know who invited you into the club.”

Attie and I neither presume, Attie asking, “Does our modeling tomorrow help us to get closer to arriving.”

Liya and Anita both smile, “Wow, you aren’t sure of yourselves, are you? Your friend Lisa said, she hasn’t heard back from you on your last offer. You ladies, you’re not close, you’re in. This for you is a coming-out party.”

I’m anxious to hear about what Lisa said about an offer. Anita says, “I heard you’re giving your own show in Washington DC with both of you being paid in five figures. That has to be really exciting. How do you feel about them extending your contract to indicate your upward movement? …I told Lisa I’d suggest that you show your appreciation for those who gave you this opportunity and be with them at least the next year or two. …She does have some choices of other products you can do commercials and promotions for.”

Champaign is offered to us and Liya points to Lisa holding a glass up, as to toast us some fifteen feet away. We lift our glasses and acknowledge her and see others acknowledging us.

It is not long and I need to scoot to the women’s room because I’ve become too excited. Hattie soon joins me and before I fix my makeup, we hug one another. Attie says, she didn’t know either but Leah and Mom had congratulated her in the morning for what was coming. She was told to be surprised and to let me be totally astonished.

We were at breakfast with Liya and Anita in the morning at one of three tables of notable models and designers. Everyone was in sweats and casual wear. Attie and I were taken to the gowns we would be modeling. Neither of us had worn anything quite this exquisite. The price of the gowns and jewelry to be worn was beyond my ability to conceive for me to be in. Though the gowns are very mature, they’re being promoted for rich and famous young women being introduced to society. The bidding for our gowns will begin modestly at $10,000. None would sell for less than two and a half times that.

Three of the young women whom they were purchased for were there. One asked me while I was modeling and walking around the room if I thought it would look good on her. “Even before makeup and hair, you will look prettier than I, afterward you’ll be remembered by everyone.”

We were surprised that someone kept bidding against her. It was when her dad said, “$37,500.” Then the bidding was over. I do not know if the person bidding against her was the same person who had bid high on the other of my gowns. But I did meet her. This young woman was graduating from an Ivy League college in December as a Finance and Securities Major. She was already accepted into a lucrative practice. Seemingly she’s a woman with brains, looks, and personality.

I overheard Gi say her biggest challenge would be adjusting to the society and her own money that she would be stepping into.

Hattie heard the same statement and turned to me, “That could be true for us as well. If that needed to be punctuated, Lisa Harper from Belk came to us during the evening dinner, saying, “Your Mother and sister said they’d be here in the morning. We’ll be announcing that you will be receiving a half-million-dollar bonus from us and that will be matched by Goldfarb announcement for their corporation.”

Hattie asks the obvious thought to me, “How does Belk and Maurice’s come up with such funds to do that?”

Lisa smiles, “You’re not the only ones to be in the right place at the right time. Each of our companies backed the right models at a great time. …We’ll have the time and opportunity to encourage you to become our spokesperson and remain with us in the future.”

I look to Hattie acknowledging Lisa, “Our two friends Anita and Liya have already encouraged us to remain with you for the foreseeable future. Neither of us has anything but great experiences with you. If our fame helps you, I think we’d be tickled if we can grow together.”

Sitting around with the other models is great, but we’re doing a lot of listening. They’re generally talking about shared experiences over the past five years or so. Some reflect for us stories of their own rising in the business. Pitfalls along the way and many surprises once having arrived.

There are a few critics and people whose egos or feelings are hurt, but by and large, the reactions of others to us continue to be surprisingly warm. Mom and Leah arrive at the beginning of the morning brunch.

There is a media spot with a red carpet in front of a wall with the logo of Gi’s Fashion Bonanza plus sponsor logos and this year’s event theme One by Land, Two by Sea. The theme reflects the vast width of Gi’s benevolence and how wide it reaches.

Hattie and I had heard of a medical and children’s ministry only weeks before. Actually, we’ve heard of it before, but again weeks ago at our church. If and once our bonus is announced, we announce, “We’d each be giving $25,000 to it for international giving and another $25,000 to hospital programs serving young people in northeast Indiana.”

No sooner do we know what we’ve decided to do and Belk and Maurice’s are inviting us for a Red Carpet announcement. I wasn’t going to be there, but when we’re before the lights we’re happy to see Gi in the audience. George and Lisa announce our bonus for becoming famous representatives of their brands. There are two big surprises. We thought the $500,000 bonus was for the two of us but is announced to be for each of us, Attie and Teri Slade.

The second surprise is a new Dodge Barracuda for Attie and a Ford F-250 for me. I am amused they thought of the pickup truck for me. But I had once named it as a sports vehicle I like. With all the Chrome, gadgets, and extras it’s by far worth more than the Barracuda.

There is a pause after the presentation of the vehicles. We’re not sure if we should quietly walk off or respond to the news and announce our gifts for Gi’s fundraiser.

I’m being called over to the podium, and not Attie. I’m about there but there’s a commotion with those who have gathered as they see something I cannot. Gi comes forward, “I know you wished this was a month from now so someone important to you could be here. Sadly that could not be arranged. But we do have a visual hook-up so you can see Patti.”

I’m staring at a large monitor. I can see Patti being wheeled into a red carpet area much like our own. It takes me a while to understand that Patti is in a wheelchair some twenty feet away from me. I am tearful as her chair is stopped and I see her trying to stand.

I had been frustrated the three days before I left that Patti was scared and refused to take any steps… Now, slowly but with no hesitation, Patti begins to walk to me and she has a great big smile. When we meet and hug. I hesitate. ‘Do I dare do what I want? That would be to give her a big hug and kiss in front of everyone.’

Anita approaches me, “What’s causing you to be shy, this is a women’s event in the 21st Century.” Without any more hesitation, I give Patti a big kiss and hug, befitting two teenage girls.”

Attie takes a microphone and says. “I’m sure some may wish our time stopped here, but that is not why Gi has this weekend. I will speak for my sister as well as myself. We expected the bonus to be for the two of us and not all that it is… We’d like to invite Gi or her representative to come so we can announce our gift for which we’re all gathered.”

It was nice that Gi herself came to be with us. Attie asked me and I approved the new gift in light of the bonuses. “We have a gift of $50,000 for our Land gift to go to Fort Wayne area hospitals for medical needs of teenagers and our by Air gift $50,000 to a medical and children’s ministry in Zambia and Malawi. This is along with whatever we were to receive for coming here.”

We were surprised that Lisa and George and their backers announced the matching of our giving. Gi announced our combined gifts would put her gathering at her goal as we neared the final part of the weekend.

I nudged Gi to ask if I could speak once. She smiled and handed me a mic, “I am the luckiest gu…” I started over, “I am the luckiest woman here. I could have lost Patti in many ways. I want to give another $50,000 in celebrating her

There’re so many nice things said; I myself was amazed to see how well Patti walked. Why did I hear so clearly that voice say, “She’s nothing but a naïve country girl? There’s no way they’ll stay together.”

Feelings well up inside and I find myself saying. “Patti, I love you and I always will.”

A woman with a microphone sticking in my face asks, “Is that a proposal?”

Patti looks to me and while I love Patti; I know I recently failed her. I say, “We’re in high school and I for one need to grow up more before I propose to her.” I turn to Patti, “I truly love you. But I can’t ask you to marry me yet.”

Patti begins to speak, “Will you…” and she stops as she looks around us and to our moms. I quickly wondered, ‘what she might have said and my answer. Was she going to propose to me, will you marry me; was she asking will I propose sometime; or was she wondering will you stand by me the next time?’ I knew enough not to question her love of that I was certain.

There were two more presentations to others yet, so we moved to a side room. Paula Draper helped Patti move with the least amount of pain possible. Once in the room with the doors closed, Paula said, “I for one am happy there were no wedding proposals today!”

Patti and I look around, to my sisters and then to my mother. My mom says, “Yes, I think it would be too early.” Instead of me, it is Patti that my mom seeks to comfort. She whispers, “You know if you two so decide, I’d love you as another daughter.”

Our room at the hotel has been changed to a larger suite. It was to be a great night until I learn about Patti’s medical flight here. Even with specialists helping it was a difficult flight for Patti and fatigued her greatly.

Dr. Langley had made arrangements for Patti to be seen there in eighteen days if she waited to return when she’d be given the green light to travel. Attie and I agreed to cover the cost. Mr. Draper and their other daughters would join them and enjoy some days of vacation in Boston.

The event formally ended with over two million and four hundred thousand being raised. Gi had assured us that our benevolence requests were being accepted and some twenty thousand additional funds would be going to each.

It was comical to me that my participant’s purse/satchel had one unique item from all the rest. No one would take credit for its addition, but there was a cream for growing breasts budding. Patti had fun applying it. Liya and Anita enjoyed inquiring whether it was appropriate. But they all swore not to have been part of my receiving it.

The facial skin treatment of Aesthetician Allie Roberts was already proving itself as Hattie and I was both using it. We’re already ordering more from her for when we’re back in Indiana. We had a gift of it and several other items are sent to Jan Coffman our mentor.

Hattie and I are astounded by the number of people communicating with us. That evening Lisa and George and a few others bring us together to plan a special event. “We’d like to schedule an event to celebrate your achievement and give you recognition for continuing to be celebrities sponsoring our merchandise… We’re thinking of the third weekend of March. We would also be advertising our first world-class show and Maurice’s is open to being in North Carolina and we’re open to the possibility of it being in Indianapolis a year from then.”

Hattie says, “A year from then; why a year?”

Lisa’s reply, “It would be better in planning if we took two years. You seemingly do not understand the complexity of such events, if we’re wanting to succeed. It would be difficult for one of your super-model friends and difficult for the other. They are both willing to work hard to make it possible.”

“The Washington DC event is someone else’s doing, utilizing you two to give it more pizazz to increase their audience. Your hosting an event comes at a cost to all of us. It will take enough that we’ll want some assurance we can gain back at least two-thirds of our investment. Hopefully, you will want to do that as well.”

George is up-front, “Teri I want to consider what the likelihood of you proposing to your childhood sweetheart? More importantly, and I do not seek to be mean. But we don’t want the likelihood of any divorce, separation, or ugly incidents during the first year of marriage?”

It surprises me that someone with us would make such a question. Our modeling and personal lives have become a serious part of our conversations. This hits me harder and more personally than anything up to this point.

It is such things that robs from what mom has ironically called our ‘honeymoon’ experience. It was true the past half-year, modeling has become more work. The more we learn what works for us, photographers, design people, and others; it all seems to become demanding. Somedays we were more exhausted by the frustration and demands than the pictures or show.

The following evening or the morning after that, Hattie and I need to fly home for school. Tomorrow even our sightseeing was planned around two casual photoshoots to make use of various locations as backdrops. The increased compensation was coming with more demands and events on us and our schedules. Most of which would thankfully in start new year.

Tonight started with a relaxing time with Patti, but I, had a request from my mother for me to meet with her come 9:30?
“Okay, Mom, what do you want to talk about and why doesn’t Hattie have to be here,” I query?

Mom has me sit across from her and we’re holding hands as she asks. “Teri, do you think you might be proposing to Patti or her shortly?”

I try to deflect her question, “Are you asking that because of the question of the reporter?”

Mom says, “More than that was the look in both of your eyes. Then your roving eyes when we went into different jewelry stores. None of the rest of us were looking at engagement rings?”

“I just wanted to do it while Patti wasn’t with us. Who knows, maybe tomorrow she’ll feel like doing something.”

“Teri, you’re both young and you heard what George said about sponsoring a fashion show. That’s a big thing and it will tie up a lot of what you and Hattie have saved.”

“I’d like to share an idea with you. It’s an old idea and I don’t know if anyone practices it anymore. It used to be during the engagement that the woman would go live with the man’s family for a time until they married.”

“That’s funny Mom; would I be living with the Drapers?” I asked, “Say if I proposed to Patti. What do you think Mrs. Draper would think about Patti living with us?”

Mom has a serious look in her eyes and she quietly looks at me. “Her mother and I have actually talked. It would give you two, time to think. Each of you would get to see how the others live day to day. It’s often the simple things that we assume that gnaw at a relationship.”

With a little attitude, I say, “You better talk to her father because I’m not on his best list.”

Mom says, “That’s one of the things both of you would need to live with. What’s she going to do if she loses her father’s love or if gaining you she loses them? You’ve lost close friends, but she hasn’t and family would be harder.”

I ask, “How long were you and Mrs. Draper thinking about, a month?”

“We thought about six months with each family?”

I’m alarmed, “That would be a year, no way! …How about three months?”

Mom says, “A minimum of four months, to give it a good chance that you know enough to stay married. Planning a wedding after that. What’s a year when you’re so young?”

“Mom, but I was thinking about after I graduate in December. Maybe for Christmas. It’s the 21st Century not back when.”

Mom hugs me, “But what if it doesn’t work and your divorce. I doubt you’d remain best friends. I’m sure you’d both want children, but is she going to college before you have children?”

“Mom, I’m going to be making enough money that she wouldn’t need to go to college.”

“Sweetie, you need college both for modeling and after modeling. What if in three years Hattie and you quit modeling or are no longer top models. It is the exception for top models to stay up there more than 3-5 years. If your sister has children she risks her career in doing so. When you transition, your appearance hopefully won’t change too much but it could in the next year.”

“I thought we were going to talk a half hour. I’d like to get back to Patti before she falls asleep.”

Mom knows I heard her and have had enough for tonight. “Go ahead, you should be enjoying now and especially Patti being here. Congratulations Sweetie.”

‘Sweetie’ when did Mom start calling me Sweetie. It was nice coming out of our talk, Hattie and Leah found me, asking, “You okay?” Hattie hugs me and walks me to see Patti.

Mrs. Draper says, “She anxious to see you, but she’s also terribly tired. Please don’t keep her awake too long.” Mrs. Draper stayed there only two minutes and then left us alone. Hattie and I were telling Patti about the event.

Patti asked me to get close and we hug. “You’re as much a girl and model as your sister.” It took me a moment to realize the significance of what Patti’s saying.

I pause, then ask Patti holding her hand, “Is it okay that I’m this much of a girl? I guess there’s not much of Terrance left.”

Patti hugs and gives me a passionate kiss. “Wasn’t much of Terrance after Colorado? I worried if there would ever be room for me or I’d want it.”

There was a moment and then, “Then there was my accident and you came home from Europe. You’ve been so warm and loving. I’m just afraid it’s just for my recovery.”

I tear up, emotions are like waves crashing over me. “You’re my best friend and my love. I am not letting go of you. I think we’re soulmates, you?” I’m hugging and kissing her passionately until I hear a groan from her being hurt. I let go and take her hand.

Her mother knocks and interrupts us, “It’s time for Patti to rest.” I try to ask for a few minutes. Patti says, “I’m tired. We have tomorrow.”

The next day is fun and we do enjoy each other and go window shopping. Hattie, Patti, and I found some beautiful English tweeds in a quaint woman’s clothing shoppe. We’re taken with the fact that the customers are young professional women. Torrie and Jessa introduce themselves, having recognized us as Attie and Teri from Saturday. We enjoy talking with them.

Torrie says, “We’ve developed a following for our tweeds and other Brit and Scottish fashions. There’s the Brit tradition with just enough new threads to allow them to make the clothes more comfortable and attractive.”

Attie says, “This is your shop, but I thought you were shoppers.”

Jessa says, “I spent yesterday putting out new stock and rearranging some things. Today it was Torrie’s turn to come in and be the shopper. We think it helps the shop to remain fresh and welcoming to our guests.”

I speak up. “‘Guests’, you mean shoppers.”

Jessa says, “You’re the one becoming one of us. Women relax when they come into a good shop, sometimes they’re just amusing themselves. They’re guests and might not be customers today, if ever. Those looking today are likely to be getting ready for a New England winter. Instead of just remaining warm they also want to look fashionable.”

I had already bought the outfit I wanted. Now Torrie invites me to be a guest with her as we look some more. I didn’t see it but she has pulled out one I said was beautiful. “Teri please go and enjoy trying this one on as well as another of your choosing.” Patti speaks up, “I’d like to see her in this one.”

Patti gets her way first, but Torrie also had an outfit for Patti and another for Attie. Our time extends into early afternoon and then with our clothes purchased and much more enjoyed. We invite Torrie and Jessa to share a late lunch with us.

Torrie comes while Jessa stays there, more guests coming this afternoon. After lunch we head back to the hotel we’re all tired.

Hattie and I pack for returning home. We’re due to fly into Indianapolis and to go home from there. But this trip home has something new: a media event. Leah had actually flown home today to finish the arrangements on our side of things.

Press meeting aside, we get home and back into our routines. There is pressure to focus on wrapping up our studies. Both a packed high school schedule and each having a college class with papers and exams.

With some advertisements and retake photos, it was hard to concentrate on getting our schooling done so we could graduate. Hattie and I are both sensitive about dispersions on the intelligence of models. Out grades are important in getting the school work done.

Most of our teachers were proud of us, as were the school and the surrounding community. Our grades did suffer some as Hattie didn’t get all A’s. I had two A’s, 5 B’s, and a C in chorus because I missed one of our holiday concerts because of work. I did earn a B+ in my Business Accounting class at the college.

Patti was finally recovered from her accident and able to walk and move around fine. She needs time to regain her strength and stamina. She had already been planning on graduating in the spring, but because of missed school time, she would now have a full class load. She also had the problem of no earned money for her holiday shopping.

She and I knew her folks would give her some money, but she wanted to treat her folks extra nice for all they had done. She wasn’t going to take the money I offer her. Instead, I had to put it in her top drawer and message her where it is. I threatened I was not coming until I received a copy of a receipt that some of it was used.

Neither Hattie nor I knew what to do with our bonus money nor the holiday. Our parents and Leah insisted we invest the lion’s share. My parents agreed with Hattie and me that Leah deserved much more than she was expecting. Leah accepted a gift of $5,000 that we openly gave her. She agreed to a ten thousand vacation trip we were giving our parents. Halley Roberts had used her office to make sure everything we were doing was properly accounted for.

Christmas for me was to hold a big surprise but it ended up being on me. It was supposed to be at our Christmas on Christmas Day. Christmas Eve was with the Drapers and for once Mr. Draper was totally on good behavior. I guess that should have given something away.

They exchanged some gifts before going to their church for the Christmas Eve Service. It was different for me as I always went with my own family. I hoped to be home in time to greet my folks coming back from our church. Patti protested until I gave in to stay awhile after church.

She had one more gift to give me. She had gone into her bedroom to get it but came out with nothing. Nothing that is until she bent down and then surprised me with a little box as she asked, “Teri Carsten, will you make me the happiest woman and marry me?”

She knew she surprised me and that there was no way I too could propose and give her a ring at that time. How could I delay it so I could do it, at least in kind? Patti said, “I even asked your parents and have their blessing. You can call them after you give me your answer young lady…”

Only the Epilogue remains…

Teri didn’t expect a ring that she could wear would be this special unless she had bought it to go along with the one Teri wanted to get for Patti. She does have one planned to give to Patti tomorrow on Christmas Day. All that was irrelevant now, because it was Patti who was proposing first. He had not even considered that.

He/she wanted to be the first, but right now she’s down on a knee looking up to me. I am so impressed and so in love with her. “Yes, Patti I will marry you!” Paula and Paul Draper step up welcoming Teri into the family. Patti and Teri hug and kiss. Madison and Laura, Patti’s younger and older sisters respectively, came to give Patti hugs, while asking, “Teri are you, ‘How do you like being another sister?”

Once everyone there was back to earth, Patti said, “I bet your family is wondering if we ran off to elope.”

“Oh yes, of course, I need to call my parents.” Teri for once couldn’t think straight. Her phone was in her purse which was with her coat or was it? Instead of picking up her purse she checked through the coat pockets like Terrance would have done months ago. Not there, she turned this way and that trying to remember even what her phone even looked like.

She looks up and Mrs. Draper is holding her purse out to her. The first number she tried was Patti’s, dah! Then she was trying to decide who to call. Finally, Mrs. Draper says, “You call your parents first, they’re waiting for you and getting gray hairs by now.”

Teri finally calls and the phone rings the second time. Mrs. Carsten his mother answers, “Mom is Daddy there too? I have something to tell you both.”

“We’re both here and wanting to know what you said to Patti.”

“If you knew why didn’t you tell me she was going to propose to me? You know what I wanted.”

Teri’s Mom said, “Because she had the manners to ask the other parents. That is more than I can say for you.”

Teri whispers over the phone, “You know I’m scared of Mr. Draper. But he’s happy now.”

His Mom is losing her patience, “Will you please tell us what you said? We would like to celebrate with you. What was your answer?”

“Yes, Mom and Dad, I said yes. I can’t believe this I’m going to be her wife. You should see the ring it is the most beautiful ring. It even fits properly. …Dad can you hear me I’m going to get married. What do you think of that? I’ll be your first daughter to get married.”

I hear my sisters getting impatient in the background. Hattie raises her voice to make sure I can hear her. “Are you coming home soon so we can see your ring?”

I say to my sisters, “Soon, be patient.” Then I ask my Mom, “Did you talk to Mrs. Draper about what you were thinking?”

Mom says, “We’ll talk about that after Christmas Day. You enjoy yourself and make sure you are polite and say thank you to everyone you should. I’ll hang up so you can get done there. We love you and are happy for both of you!”

Getting away was hard to do; taking my time to say thanks to everyone and repeatedly telling Patti how much I loved her and love my ring. I was ready to leave. Paul and Paula Draper both needed persuasion that I could safely drive home. It’s just seven blocks away.

Her older sister had wanted to drive me home, saying, “Patti and I can get your car home in the morning.

I wanted to honk the car horn and announce to everyone I’m married but it was after midnight. All my family said afterward I should have. They all laugh at me that for once I’m thinking of others.

Once in the house, my coat was thrown off; I’m lifting my ring hand into Mom and Dad’s faces. Mom takes hold of my hand unless I poke someone’s eye out. Mommy and Daddy in front of me and my sisters squeezing in from both sides. Hattie said she knew I didn’t get the ring before church services. Because she hadn’t heard from any of our friends from that church.

“Mommy is this one of the reasons you guided me to get the diamond ring we did?” Mom reminded me that after we opened presents in the morning we were going to our grandparents. She told me Grandma Carsten’s would be gong with us. “You make sure you introduce Patti to everyone and don’t go walking away leaving her standing alone. You can give her your ring for her either here or wait and present it to her there.”

“Mom, am I actually going to be her wife and she mine? I wasn’t sure, but I won’t look like a husband.”

Dad makes fun of me. “You have made decision after decision to become a woman. Are you going to go and change that because it seems strange you can be a wife?”

Mom says, “The strange part if you, she becomes pregnant with your seed you will also be the father of any children. Another interesting thought is if you would carry one of her eggs to term, you could also be a mother.”

I’m wondering if Patti had told my Mom that we had actually talked about that. We even had talked to Dr. Michele about it.

I was too wound up to fall asleep as Hattie and Leah finally pull me upstairs so we could visit. Hattie quickly reminded me, “Remember once when we were imaging about being models. I fell in love with one of the men protecting us like in the movie with Whitney Huston.” She said, “It was me who was to get married. We said you could pretend to be a bridesmaid, but it wasn’t realistic for you to be the bride.”

Leah says, “I’m the oldest, you’re not to be getting married before me.”

The truth is Hattie and I would have to wait until school is over in May to officially graduate in the spring with our class. We both took a light schedule of three college classes the second semester.

Proposing to Patti at our grandparents before all our family was very special for Patti and me and especially my grandparents. Mom took plenty of pictures, whiles some of the relatives said we were too young. There were one set of cousins and their parents who didn’t say anything; they were sure I was on the road to perdition. They were nice enough to Patti saying they’d be praying for her. Thankfully Patti didn’t quite catch their meaning. I was going to tell them what I thought about them. Dad, however, stopped me and said he would do that after the holidays.

It was the day after Christmas that both our parents sat down with us. Well, it was actually our moms as our fathers went off to get something they needed for a project. Patti had informed me that she agreed the idea of each of us living with the other family was a good idea. She did put her foot down and told them it would only be two months at each house. I would move in with her family after New Year’s Day. We’d live with my folks March and April.

I wanted to be married in May or right after graduation. Patti said the Saturday of Labor Day weekend in September. Hattie, not Leah, would be my Maid of Honor had to be Hattie. Patti chose her older sister Laura to be her Matron of Honor as she was already married.

I guess our dads had gone to get needed supplies to redo the guest room for me and to put in another bathroom. Patti and I were volunteered for plastering seams and painting the rooms. All the Drapers were happy about the new bathroom.

It was strange living with the Drapers. I had only eaten with them a few times before. Patti disagreed with me that my mom was the better cook. I practiced cooking eggs the way her mother did for her. It took me a while to come close. I learned to prepare three regular meals that were her favorites as well as two homemade soups.

I had gotten neater in taking care of my clothes as Teri, but I guess I had become kind of sloppy again. Mrs. Draper quickly broke me of that habit. I even learned how to wash and take care of Patti’s delicate clothes. The only time I was allowed to go into Patti’s room unannounced was to put clean clothes away or to change her bed with fresh sheets.

I was glad that I had four times away to model. Plus a meeting with Lisa to plan the fashion event the following March. And looking at wedding gown designs.

Patti got to travel with me twice. Once when Mrs. Draper came and once with Leah and Laura escorting us. One night with our sisters we did get to be together. It was great having time to be intimate again. Patti and I had both been taking precautions so we would not be having a baby before we were getting married.

When we got married Dr. Michele Dorft would become our GYN and general doctor. We felt more assure that her office handled things more confidentiality. Dr. Dorft had harvested my semen and sperm twice more, saying there was enough sperm to possibly impregnate Patti. That was not the case when I went back the week of the Super Bowl.

When Patti and I went to North Carolina for a meeting; we also met with specialists about how to remain good lovers. Patti and I had decided that after next Christmas and the New Year. I would be transitioning to be completely a female. True, I wouldn’t be able to have my own baby. But in time, as soon as a year later it was decided I could carry one of Patti’s eggs to term.

Since we were both still technically high school students I could go to the prom as Patti’s date. We first went looking for prom dresses with her mother and Patti’s sisters. Madison would be invited to the prom, she too was looking for a dress. Madison had found the dress she wanted. Patti and I decided to wait and look more.

Both our Moms went shopping with us in the Twin Cities at the Mall of America. Attie and I were the Slade Sisters and part of a fashion show at the mall. This time however we were two of the marquee names showing the fanciest of gowns, mostly from our corporate sponsors. There were three different gowns there that Patti decided to choose from. I was tickled as any other girl to choose my prom gown. Patti and Attie agreed my response was embarrassing.

Hattie and I had each worn one of our tweed outfits from Boston while we were there. Though George was not initially pleased we were wearing someone else’s fashions. He became interested in looking into the possibility of getting some items exclusively made by them for his own line of clothing. Attie and I were giving George and others younger eyes that they listened to. They already had good people but they weren’t usually listening to them as close as they should.

Attie and I had three major fashion shows coming up. The one that was supposedly ours in Washington DC; and two others in Chicago and our first one in New York City where we would be seen as major names. That was to be four weeks before Easter.

The change in accommodations at NYC along with the fees we were being paid, was a remarkable change from before. Our friend Jenna in New York City was able to get us prime tickets for two Broadway shows. It included passes behind stage after the performances. This time she was the one tickled that we visit at her place and make time for her. It was enjoyed by all of us as we had mutual respect for the other and knew where we had come from.

We did have one photographer there in the City that we didn’t care for. This time when he got rude, we put up with his treatment so long and gave plenty of warnings that we would leave. Well, he got us passed that point and we finally left. He was furious calling us spoiled kids.

The fact that he insulted us to others made it all but impossible for us to go back and finish the session with him. It was, however, a major New York department store and their clothing line something we shouldn’t walk out on. We did go and finish our photo shoot after we asked and waited for them to choose another photographer.

He was also a demanding photographer, but we had little to no trouble fulfilling his requests. We paid part of the additional expenses. The fact the store covered half the costs was compensation indicating that their first photographer was also at fault.

During spring break Patti and I along with Leah and Attie traveled to North Carolina to help design some clothes that could bear our insignia indicating that we helped in the design of them.

Lisa along with her designers would also have several wedding dresses she had designed from what Patti and I had both decided. Patti was beside herself as it would be the first gown exclusively designed for her. It was still special for me to have something designed and cut for us. However, it was not quite the same as for my fiancée Patti. But the two gowns we were choosing and being fitted for were actually designed by Lisa and that was a first for me as well as Lisa. Down to the veil and train, Patti got the approval on her gown and our sisters verified that the two gowns would compliment one another and not clash come wedding time.

I didn’t know it then, but Patti was brooding inside that I was going to be as pretty as she was. Patti and I were now living at my home, doing things that I was familiar. My mother told me that I was going to have to give more saying, “Two women each wanting their way could be difficult together. And Patti has long had dreams as a young woman that even she might not realize.

The week before prom that Patti and I flew to North Carolina for our major fitting for our wedding gowns. I was not as careful as Patti and she got a good glimpse of me in my wedding gown. Patti’s feelings were hurt thinking that I would take away from her as a bride.

Patti and I were looking to buy a home on the western outskirt of Ft. Wayne and thought we found one. We were also to approve the final plans for our wedding. Patti was no longer living with us, but once when I got home. she was there with our mom when Hattie and I came back from a trip. She began to cry when our eyes met. I saw her engagement ring on the table where she had been sitting.

I wasn’t sure if she ran to me or intended to run past me, but I caught her and we hugged. It wasn’t a matter of love but things we had trouble agreeing on. It didn’t matter to me if Patti was more perceptive or sensitive. I guess my stubborn side got in the way of things.

It would be spring almost two years later that we would marry at the end of our second year of college. And another year after that Patricia gave birth to Haley. We decide that Patricia would also give birth to our second child. Her traveling with me was never a problem with one child. Haley was a source for both of s. Her eyes started as blue but would change. Wherever we went others adored her almost as much as we did. Not close, but she was not short on affection is shown to her.

Patti during her second pregnancy and with Haley being so active, traveling became a problem. Haley had mostly her mother Patti’s features. Her hair grew out dark and had a beautiful sheen to it. She did have my long slim fingers.

Patricia’s second pregnancy benefited from Patricia having made friends with our neighbor girl, Dakota and two of her close friends Stephanie and Deeba. Despite Deeba’s father having worked with US soldier in their home country of Afghanistan. She was not welcome at every home including Dakota’s at times. Dakota and the others were in eighth grade. We hired her and/or her friends to help Patti or myself especially when one of us were alone. Yes, there was a grandma’s room as well.

Those girls became very close friends with Patti as the birth of our second baby approached. It was Patti who names him Colin for a Great Grandfather. Her Great Grandmother Audrene was still alive and active for being 86 years old. She loved our giving our son the name of her husband Colin.

Hattie was now married to Heath a fitness/wellness trainer. We were both still popular models keeping our supermodel status. We had done fashion shows in London, Rome, and Tokyo, but not yet in Paris or Beijing.

It became extra work during my transition to keep my shape. I had begun to look more like my mother and Leah, including my breasts developing more than Hattie’s. I became an avid runner and aerobics person the next three years under the guidance of Heath. Burning more calories helped my breasts from developing fully and I kept my shape without gaining muscle mass.

The first impregnated egg of Patricia’s did not properly adhere inside my body. It was a week after our fifth wedding anniversary that Dr. Michele Dorft officially announced I was pregnant.

I continued to do my regular modeling for the first three months of my pregnancy. There were exceptions when morning sickness hit me. There was a time most of my work did not start until 1:00 p.m. The fourth and fifth months my modeling was very limited to facial makeup, and TV and radio talk shows.

When it became known I was pregnant with twins; it was suggested we terminate one at the risk of a troubled pregnancy including losing both or putting me at risk. Heath being my trainer, helped a lot for maintaining my health and strength. The last two months I did little and I was monitored with weekly checkups more when needed.

I was twelve days from my due date when Dr. Michele decided on a C-section to take both girls. The names Denise and Darby Sue were after 'pretend friends' that Patti and I had growing up. Though we had not known about the other’s friend. And Darby’s name was a surprise even to my mother who thought I had taken to playing with an imaginary friend of Hattie’s. Haley by the time she was three had an imaginary bunny named ‘Anne’.

I would nurse the girls for the first three months and it took me another three months to regain my figure to model again. I thought it was beautiful when Patti nursed our babies. Now that it was my turn to learn, the romantic image was there, but the discomfort of nursing our baby girls was also very evident.

Hattie and I planned enough that one of us was always able to model. We didn’t want to be too long out of the public eye. Come our twenty-fourth birthday, we were already veteran models, yet still modeling as young women.

It was early fall when a store in the Fort Wayne mall was having a spring fashion show. There came a day after school that Dakota, Stephie, and Deeba came running into our house with the flyer of the fashion show. Therein our living room were three young teen girls with dreams of being models if for only a day.

Patti came to me, “Teri, it wasn’t so long ago and one of those girls was you.” She showed the girls them my picture and article from a newspaper then. The girls were amazed by how cute Teri was then.

It was the first also the first time they heard that I, Teri was thought to be a boy. You could see it in the questions in their eyes, ‘How could a boy have had a baby and be nursing the little baby underneath the blanket in front of them.’

A season of life had gone full circle I had done more than Hattie and Terrance had ever dreamed. Living the dream was much more fun.