Janet took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she stepped through the rear entrance of the vast supermarket. When she was younger she never imagined that she'd be starting work as a lowly checkout operator at the age of 42. But then, she also never imagined that on her first day of work, she would pin to her chest a name badge that read 'Janet' instead of 'John'.

John Cole was born on the 11th of December 1973, and seemingly had everything he could ever want. Rich parents, a good education including a degree from the University of Hull, a wife, two adoring children... But deep down inside all John wanted, all he ever wanted, was to be a woman.

"During my university days," Janet explained to her manager as she got ready for her first day of work, "I'd dress up- for fun, you know? It was the early nineties, so there was lots of spandex everywhere, big, bright colours, leotards, cycling shorts, short skater dresses, that sort of thing. I'd go for a night out with a couple of accepting female friends, just for fun. Even hooked up with guys a couple of times. But I knew it was just a fantasy, something that could never last... But every time I had to put 'Janet' away, I'd always feel this pang of regret in my heart. Didn't know back then, of course, that what I was feeling was massive depression."

"I graduated in '95," Janet continued with a laugh. "God, 21 years, half my life ago... Met my wife my final year of uni, got married two years later, had a son in '99, a daughter in '01 and got on with my life. But it never went away, the urge, the NEED to 'be Janet'... Six years ago, I gave in, ordered some underwear, some make-up and a dress off of the internet, and it just- it just felt right. Felt like it was meant to be. I built up my stash, dressed more and more until eventually, I- I just couldn't face going back to life as 'John', going back to my dull job... January this year, I just came out, told my family everything... They turned their back on me without a second thought. Almost twenty years of marriage, gone. My son thinks I'm a freak, my daughter... I dunno."

"About four months ago, the depression got so bad, I- I took an overdose," Janet sniffled as her manager listened with a sympathetic ear. "I couldn't face life as 'John' and 'Janet's life was nothing short of a disaster, so I just popped open a bottle of pills and, well, you can probably figure out the rest. Next thing I know, I wake up in a hospital with a tube down my throat, and once I'm well enough to be discharged, I get sectioned, sent to a mental hospital... Where I run into the last person I was ever expecting to meet!" Janet chuckled with laughter as she recalled her month-long stay in residential psychiatric care- in particular, her dinner conversation during her fifteenth day.

"Seriously?" Janet's manager asked after hearing the story. "THE Stephanie Abbott?"

"Seriously," Janet giggled. "We stayed in touch, too."

"So how come you're working here, rather than some big fancy celebrity job?" The middle-aged manager asked.

"...Thanks for putting me on the spot," Janet giggled quietly.

"Sorry, sorry," Janet's manager laughed.

"I just want a proper job, you know?" Janet replied. "I want somewhere where I can make a fresh start as 'Janet', no pressure from anyone, I can just sit back, work hard and rebuild my life. Can't do that if I hang out with people who attract paparazzi like dung attracts flies."

"Sensible choice," Janet's manager laughed. "I'll be back with your name badge and smartcard in a bit. You just take several deep breaths, make sure you're ready."

"Thanks," Janet said, before taking a deep breath and staring at her reflection in the supermarket's locker room- the supermarket's WOMEN'S locker room.

Janet wasn't a beauty queen, but she never had any pretense of being so. She was tall- 5' 10" in sock feet, over six feet tall in the heeled court shoes she'd worn to work- and her wide shoulders and narrow hips gave away the fact that there was 'more to her than meets the eye', even if her body was covered in the regulation blue blouse, knee-length black skirt and opaque black tights that made up the supermarket's uniform.

Underneath her uniform, Janet had done her best to 'enhance' her body with a tight corselette that narrowed her waist and gave extra 'shape' to her chest and her backside, but it couldn't hide the shape of her skeleton, in much the same way that her full face of make-up and short brown bob couldn't hide the very masculine shape of her face, especially her jaw. Janet was convinced that she'd be 'found out' within minutes of her first day... But she would never have imagined who would have been the first to 'find her out'.

----------

"Come on, Ellie!" Kacey moaned as the blonde girl slumbered on her sofa. "I wanna buy lunch before we go to college..."

"I'm cold..." Ellie moaned, before the sheet was pulled from her, leaving her shivering in the November air with just a long t-shirt to cover her body.

"Get dressed, that'll warm you up," Kacey retorted. "You know what my parents said, they're okay with you staying here as long as you're not permanently rooted to the sofa!"

"Yes, yes, okay, okay," Ellie sighed.

"And don't take TOO long with your make-up, okay?" Kacey urged, making Ellie groaned as she climbed the stairs to the small bedroom, where she stared at her face in the mirror.

16 years and nine months earlier, Ellie had been born to two loving parents who gave her everything she wanted and loved her unconditionally. Four months earlier, Ellie had learned that there was one condition to her parents' love- and that was that she continued to live her life the way she'd been born- as a boy named Liam.

All throughout her life, Ellie had been obsessed with all things feminine. Her best friends were always girls and her preferred toys and games were always feminine, much to her parents' chagrin, who assumed that she was 'going through a phase'. Immediately following the end of her GCSEs, Ellie- backed by two of her closest friends and the boy with whom she had formed a clandestine relationship- came out to her parents, and explained calmly that she wished to live her life the way she wanted- as a girl.

That day was the last time Ellie had had any contact with her parents.

As she covered her face with a thick layer of foundation, followed by equally thick mascara, eyeliner and pink eye shadow, Ellie wondered what her parents were doing right that second, whether or not they were thinking about her- or whether or not they ever thought about her.

After being kicked out of her parents' home, Ellie had moved in with her boyfriend, and despite putting on a brave face, she fell into a depression it took her weeks to recover from. With her boyfriend's help, she began to regularly see a counsellor who specialise in gender identity issues, and slowly, but surely, she began to feel better about herself... Only for her boyfriend to suddenly end their relationship, sending Ellie back to square one. If it hadn't been for the kindness and generosity of friends such as Kacey, Ellie honestly believed that she wouldn't have been able to face living, let alone be able to face studying at college.

And yet, she strode through the front door of the college on her first day with a nervous smile on her face, and a short skirt, a tight top and a pair of clingy black tights covering her body- the same clothes she slipped into after finishing her make-up. Her counsellor had yet to prescribe oestrogen to Ellie, as she first wanted to ensure that Ellie's suicidal thoughts were a thing of the past, but that didn't stop Ellie from feeling more secure in her femininity every time she stepped out in public dressed as the girl she knew she was deep down inside.

"Quick enough for you?" Ellie asked as she let her friend into her bathroom.

"Enough make-up for you?" Kacey retorted. "I get that you want to, you know, 'hide', but you know, Ellie, you really don't need to hide THAT much. The skirt does do a good job of screaming 'girl' at the world."

"Yeah, well I can always be 'louder'," Ellie sighed, earning a sympathetic smile from her friend.

"I won't take long," Kacey said softly.

"Sure," Ellie mumbled as she took her smartphone out of her handbag and began browsing through Facebook, stopping when she reached a post from the one person who she never expected would become one of her closest confidantes- the singer Stephanie Abbott.

Like Ellie, Stephanie was transgendered. Like Ellie, Stephanie loved music. And most of all, like Ellie, she'd endured severe emotional distress stemming from her transition. Mere weeks earlier, Stephanie and the rest of her band had visited Ellie's college, where the sixteen year old girl had had a chance to talk one on one with the twenty year old superstar- a talk Ellie had walked away from with Stephanie added to her Facebook friends list.

Stephanie had made it clear to Ellie that the young woman was welcome to message her anytime she needed to talk, but in the weeks since, Ellie hadn't been able to pluck up the necessary courage to type a single message- even as her personal situation got more and more desperate.

"Okay, done," Kacey said, snapping Ellie's attention away from her phone. "Let me guess, another update from your superstar best friend?"

"Hardly 'best friend'," Ellie mumbled as she put her phone away and followed Kacey out of the house and to the nearest bus stop.

"Yeah, well when I get to have a private chat with a celebrity, THEN I'll stop asking about it," Kacey snorted as she engrossed herself in her own smartphone.

Ellie sighed as she and Kacey waited for their bus, but deep down, she could easily understand her friend's frustration. She knew she was no fun to be around, not like 'Liam' had been, when 'he' and Kacey would spend long nights secretly texting each other, talking about boys, talking about the trips they would take, the fun they would have once 'Liam' had gone and 'Ellie' had taken her place... Yet in the five months since Ellie came out, she and Kacey had had less and less fun with every passing day, to the point where Ellie knew deep down that her friends barely tolerated her presence.

Some days Ellie wished that she'd never come out to her parents, that she could've continued living in secret, and yet, as she straightened her flimsy black tights, she knew deep down inside that there was no way she could give up the life she'd craved for so long. Sure, she could take off the skirt and put on a pair of trousers, but then she'd just be a girl wearing a pair of trousers. Even if she scrubbed away all her make-up, cut her hair short and pulled on boy's clothes, she'd still be a girl wearing boy's clothes, no make-up and with a short haircut.

Ellie was a girl. Of that she was certain, and she knew her friends felt the same way. She just wished that that was all she needed in her life to make her like herself...

"Hey girlies!" Monique- the second friend who had stood behind Ellie as she came out to her parents- giggled as she got on the bus and sat down in the seat behind Ellie and Kacey. Ellie smiled in response to her friend's arrival, even though she knew deep down that the dark-skinned girl was as fed up with her as Kacey was.

"Hey Mon," Kacey replied. "We're gonna stop off at Tesco on the way into college if that's okay?"

"Sure thing," Monique said as she got out her smartphone. "Going for anything specific?"

"Food!" Kacey snorted. "Kinda, you know..."

"Got another mouth to feed?" Ellie asked. "You can say it if that's what you were thinking."

"I wasn't thinking it, no," Kacey sighed. "Come on, Ellie, how many times do we have to go through this?"

"...Sorry," Ellie sighed. "I do appreciate everything you've done for me, I really do. It just sucks that you HAVE to do it at all..."

"A friend in need," Kacey shrugged.

"And you know I'd help out if my parents weren't, you know..." Monique said with a grimace.

"I know," Ellie whispered, remembering her first, disastrous meeting with her friend's parents as Ellie.

----------

"What is this!?" Monique's father had yelled as he saw the boy he knew as Liam walk into the living room alongside his daughter.

"Dad," Monique said, her lower jaw trembling nervously. "This- this is Ellie, my, um, friend..."

"H- hi, Mr. Daniels," Ellie said, nervously waving and squirming in her short skirt, which had suddenly felt VERY inappropriate.

"Why have you brought that freak into my house?" Mr. Daniels snarled. "Did I raise you to hang around with men who get their kicks by wearing women's clothing?"

"Ellie isn't a man, not anymore," Monique said defiantly. "He- SHE is a girl, trapped in a man's body-"

"Get that thing out of my house!" Mr. Daniels growled, approaching the two girls with a look of pure fury on his face.

"Bu- but dad-" Monique stammered.

"You too!" The dark-skinned girl's father snapped. "And do not come back tonight! If I see that thing in my house ever again it will wish it had never been born!" Ellie yelped and looked on with terror as her friend's father swung a fist into his hand mere inches from the tip of her nose, causing her to stumble backward onto the floor. Without looking back, Ellie- accompanied by Monique and Kacey- bolted out of the house, and spent the next several hours crying her eyes out at the latest injustice that had befallen her...

----------

"...I'm still sorry about that," Ellie mumbled.

"S'not your fault he's got his head stuck up his arse," Monique sighed. "And he has forgiven me, more or less. As long as he doesn't know we still hang out together, of course."

"Yeah, of course," Ellie sighed. "Let- let's just get some food, okay?"

"Okay," Monique and Kacey both whispered as the bus arrived at their stop.

----------

Janet forced a smile on her face as yet another customer unloaded a trolley full of groceries onto her conveyor belt. She was only an hour into her shift but she was already feeling uncomfortable, which only got worse with every new customer she served. Every single person she'd served had looked at her in a different place- her face, her hair, her neck, her shoulders- but each had reacted with a mixture of surprise or shock, or in some cases, discomfort or even open disgust. One customer had even put his groceries back into his trolley, turned around and found a different cashier when he saw that Janet was about to handle his items. Every instinct in Janet's body was telling her to leap out of her seat and run away from the supermarket as fast as she could, and yet she knew that simply wasn't an option. The amount of benefits she'd received was a pittance, and she NEEDED to work even despite the stress that it was causing her. Sure, 'checkout operator' wasn't exactly anyone's dream job, especially compared to the comfortable office job that 'John' had held, but it was better than the nothing that she'd had before.

Janet's one source of comfort was that she at least felt comfortable, at home in the clothes she'd worn to work. Wearing the skirt, the blouse and the shoes just felt right to her, like her femininity was a security blanket that no amount of sneers or condescending looks could take away. Janet had walked into the supermarket as a woman, and no matter what happened over the course of the day, she would walk out as a woman. She may not have been a model or a beauty queen, but she was a woman. And for now, that was enough.

"...Use the self-checkouts," Janet heard a voice say at the end of her checkout.

"I hate those things," another voice- which, like the first, belonged to a teenaged girl- moaned. "'Unexpected item in the bagging area'. Yeah, I'll give it an unexpected item..."

"Hi girls!" Janet said with a fake enthusiastic voice as she scanned their items, which consisted of drinks, sandwiches and snacks. "Just picking up lunch?"

"Uh-huh," the dark-skinned girl- the group's leader- replied with a confused look on her face- the same look Janet had had to endure all morning. "Can we pay for these all separately?"

"Of course," Janet said. "Though... It IS my first day, the only way I know how to do that is to do them all as separate transactions, is that okay?"

"Sure," the dark-skinned girl shrugged, as did her two friends.

Janet kept a polite smile on her face as she scanned through the lunches of the first two girls, who tried their hardest not to look judgemental, but when it came time to scan through the final girl, Janet saw a different look in her eyes- not one of judgement, but one of confusion, and in some ways, one of relief too. There was something about the final girl that Janet couldn't put her finger on- and she could see that the girl was thinking the same thing about her, too.

"All done," Janet said, deliberately looking away from the blonde girl so as not to seem like she was staring too hard at her. "You- umm, you off to college?"

"Yep," the dark-skinned girl said with an obviously forced smile.

"Well, umm, you girls work hard!" Janet said with a forced smile of her own as the trio walked away- but she couldn't shake from her head the look in the eyes of the final blonde girl. Had she known her from somewhere? Was she one of her daughter's friends? The daughter of someone she knew from her previous work- or rather, her previous life? The identity of the girl was a dilemma that plagued Janet all throughout the remainder of her shift. Little did she know that the answer to her question would end up changing her life forever...

----------

"Oh my god," Monique whispered as she walked away from the middle-aged woman's checkout. "Did you- did you see who was behind the till?"

"What about her?" Kacey asked. "Do you know her?"

"She is totally a- a-" Monique stammered, biting her lip as Ellie looked expectantly at her.

"A tranny?" Ellie asked.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, like," Monique protested. "Just like, you know, you're, you know, not alone, kinda thing."

"Okay..." Ellie said, unconvinced by her friend's explanation.

"You must've noticed, surely?" Monique asked.

"She did, you know, look a LITTLE masculine," Ellie mumbled.

"But that doesn't mean she's any less, you know, a woman," Kacey said firmly, briefly bringing a smile back to her friend's face.

"'Course not," Monique said with a smile of her own. "Do you- do you reckon she, you know, 'knew' you?"

"Me?" Ellie asked. "Maybe. I dunno! It's not like we've got a 'sixth sense' or anything."

"Yeah, well, you're less 'obvious' than she is," Kacey said, sighing as Ellie's frown deepened. "Oh come on, that was supposed to be a compliment!"

"I know," Ellie shrugged. "I know... I'm- I'm sorry. Can we change the subject, PLEASE?"

"If you insist," Kacey sighed, holding her hands up in mock-surrender. "We on for Doctor Strange on Friday?"

"Hell yeah!" Monique cheered. "LOVE me a bit of Cumberbatch!"

"New season of Sherlock should be on in January too!" Kacey giggled as Ellie forced a smile on her face. Deep down, however, she couldn't shake the image of the cashier from her mind, and her emotions were a jumble.

On the one hand, Kacey had been right- Ellie did 'pass' far better than the cashier, and that something she could be happy about, but on the other hand, it filled Ellie with a deep sense of guilt. Her transition hadn't been smooth by any stretch of the imagination, but she could go into a supermarket wear make-up and a short skirt and the only attention she attracted was from young men checking her out. The cashier, on the other hand, would have to go through every second of her life facing the judgement, the scorn and even the anger of literally every person she met- even Ellie herself.

All throughout her day at college, Ellie found her mind wandering back to the older transwoman. She wondered how her family would have reacted to her coming out, whether it was any better or even worse than her own family reacted. She wondered whether or not the older woman had a family at all, whether she had been married, if she'd had any children, if any of the children had been her age, whether or not she'd always been a cashier- or whether or not she'd noticed about Ellie what Ellie had noticed about her.

Ellie was sure of only one thing- she NEEDED to see the cashier again, and if possible, to talk to her. However, as she tried to work out ways to engage the older woman in conversation, Ellie was forced to confront one awkward truth- she barely had any communication with the one transgendered friend she did have...

----------

Janet let out a long sigh as she closed the door of her tiny two bedroom flat, kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto her cheap, but still comfortable sofa. It had been a long, frustrating day, and not one Janet wanted to repeat any time soon- even though she knew she'd have to do the whole thing again the following day. She'd have to face the same sneers, the same insults and the same abuse, and all she'd have to show for it at the end would be an empty flat with hardly any furniture and, worst of all, no family. Janet had a hard time counting her blessings when the only 'blessing' seemed to be 'not homeless'.

However, as she stretched her tired toes within her opaque black tights, Janet reminded herself that today was very much a case of 'mission accomplished'. She'd walked into the supermarket as a woman. She'd returned home as a woman. And no matter what the small-minded customers had said or done, they couldn't take that away from her. 'Not male' was a much greater cause for celebration than 'not homeless'.

Janet smiled as she made herself a cup of tea and waited for her mobile phone to ring. A few minutes later, it did so, and even though the number showed up on her screen as 'withheld', Janet immediately answered- it was a call she was expecting.

"Hi Doctor Healy," Janet said with a smile.

"Hello Janet," the doctor- Janet's gender identity counsellor- replied with an obvious smile of her own. "Do you have the time to talk right now?"

"I'm at home, cleared my schedule- such as it is- for the evening, I'm ready when you are!" Janet replied, earning a chuckle from the woman on the other end.

"Excellent," Dr Healy replied. "Have you been keeping up with your mood diary?"

"I have," Janet replied. "Obviously the big one today is 'nervous', and 'anxiety', some 'terror' too..."

"Ah, of course, today was the big day," Dr Healy replied. "It's only natural to be nervous before starting a new job, and in your circumstances, that's especially the case. How did it go today?"

"It had its ups and downs," Janet sighed. "I finished the whole shift without a meltdown, which is a positive."

"I'm hoping that's not the only positive!" Dr Healy chuckled. "What would you say was the biggest positive of the day, a single thing that made you smile, no matter how trivial?"

"...Probably meeting my supervisor," Janet replied. "She listened, she really took an interest... At one point I thought she was going to hit me up for Stephanie Abbott's autograph, heh."

"That's good," Dr Healy said. "You have friend, a confidant you can speak to, especially as she's also someone you can go to if you have any 'problems'."

"Yeah, I had more than a few of those too," Janet sighed. "Some people unloaded their trolley than saw me sat at the checkout and just loaded it straight back up again."

"I trust your managers understand that that is the customers' problem and not yours?" Dr Healy asked.

"Oh- definitely," Janet said. "But it still IS a problem. Probably always will be."

"But was every customer you dealt with like that?" Dr Healy asked.

"No, actually," Janet replied. "A lot of them were actually very friendly. Even got a 'you go girl' from a few, heh."

"Ah, that's good to hear!" Dr Healy said with a chuckle. "Every cheer you get is proof that you're where you belong, in the life you belong in. These customers will eventually become regulars, and each time they see you, it's because they saw your checkout and chose to go to it."

"Yeah, I never really had a 'regular cashier' whenever I bought groceries," Janet chuckled. "But I appreciate what you're saying, and I get what you mean. I think, heh."

"Basically, focus on the positives," Dr Healy said. "The first day in a new job is always the hardest. 8 hours can feel like 8 weeks, heh. But day two will be easier, and day three easier than that... Eventually, you won't even think about doing the job, and you won't even think about the people you deal with."

"That's the long term goal, I guess," Janet sighed. "Though I don't want to be working at bloody Tesco until I keel over... After my, well, 'episode', my old career isn't an option. Probably wouldn't have been very welcome if I'd gone into work in a skirt even if I hadn't been sectioned."

"Well there are plenty of other career options," Dr Healy advised.

"Maybe for someone half my age," Janet sighed. "The bottom rung isn't a pleasant place to be when you're 42, regardless of whether or not you're transgendered."

"But it's not impossible for you to get as good a job, or an even better job than the one you had before," Dr Healy stated. "You got this job. That shows that you're willing to work, and you can use it as a stepping stone. Don't think of yourself as being 42- think of yourself as being ONLY 42. I speak to a lot of men and women in your position who assume that because they're in their forties, or even their fifties or sixties, it means they've left it too late to transition, or live the life they always wanted. You're proof that that's simply not the case."

"...Thanks," Janet whispered.

"You've overcome a lot," Dr Healy said, "and achieved a lot of goals. Time to set yourself some more to achieve."

"Heh, kinda like the college girls," Janet mused. "I served a group of college girls this morning who were buying snacks. Couldn't have been more than 16 or 17, got their whole lives ahead of them..."

"As have you," Dr Healy reminded Janet. "I trust that if they're that young, they had no problem with you?"

"None," Janet said with a smile. "No obvious problem, anyway. One of them even seemed- nah, this'll sound silly..."

"No, go on," Dr Healy urged.

"It felt like- it felt like I kinda knew her, you know?" Janet said. "Like there was something about her... She'd obviously, you know, 'clocked' me, but I'm sure I saw her face somewhere before..."

"Working where you do, you must see thousands of faces each day," Dr Healy said. "Probably someone you thought you knew, maybe from your past, I don't know."

"...You're probably right," Janet said with a sigh. "You know, I actually am looking forward to tomorrow now?"

"Good," Dr Healy said. "You don't need to be afraid to be who you are, Janet."

"I won't be," Janet said with a confident grin as she relaxed into her sofa and sipped her tea, listening to what her counsellor had to say to her.

----------

"Come on, wake-" Kacey urged, before letting out a startled squeak as her housemate suddenly sat bolt upright.

"I'm awake!" Ellie said, smirking briefly as she pulled a dramatic pose for her friend.

"You sound... Happy," Kacey mused. "Get much sleep?"

"A little," Ellie shrugged as she headed toward the bathroom to get ready for the day. "Can we stop off at Tesco on the way to college?"

"Umm... Sure, I guess," Kacey replied. "I was going to say the same thing... Only I want to go for food, and NOT to chat up one of the cashiers..."

"Ugh- first, I'm not 'chatting her up', for god's sake," Ellie snorted. "I just- I just need to, you know, see her again, that's all."

"I get it," Kacey said. "Will you actually say anything this time, though?"

"Yes," Ellie sighed. "I- I dunno... What exactly do I say, though? 'Hi, I'm Ellie, I was born with a dick as well'?"

"If you went a little lighter on the make-up it might help," Kacey said.

"What, to make it 'obvious'?" Ellie snorted.

"I didn't mean it like THAT," Kacey retorted. "But, you know, it might help you, you know, 'connect'..."

"Nuh-uh," Ellie replied. "It's my face, and if I want to cover it in make-up, I will."

"Suit yourself," Kacey shrugged. "If you take less than an hour to do that I'd be grateful, don't want to end up being late again..."

A short while later, Ellie emerged from the bathroom with her face made-up, her hair brushed into its usual loose style and a clingy long-sleeved top, a pair of translucent tights and a pair of tight black shorts covering her young, slim body. A short while later, the pair boarded their bus, where they met up with the third member of their 'trio', who instantly sussed that something was weighing on the blonde girl's mind.

"Hey girlies!" Monique giggled as she sat down on the seat behind Ellie and Kacey. "So... We stopping off at Tesco again, right?"

"Is it seriously THAT obvious?" Ellie sighed.

"You know she might not even work Tuesdays, right?" Monique asked.

"She's not going to only work one day a week, is she?" Ellie retorted. "If we keep going in, we'll see her again eventually..."

"So you ARE going to try to meet her!" Monique said with a smug tone of voice.

"Well- duh," Ellie replied, her own defiance quickly fading. "I need to, you know, meet her..."

"Which is understandable," Kacey said, silencing her dark-skinned friend. "For, you know, support..."

"I guess," Monique shrugged. "God, wouldn't it be awkward if, you know, she WASN'T transgendered?"

"Yeah, I- I'm pretty certain we don't have to worry about THAT," Kacey sighed as the bus drew ever closer to its stop, and Ellie grew increasingly nervous...

----------

Janet let out a long sigh as she stared at the couple approach her checkout with a trolley full of groceries, only to immediately change their mind and find another till instead- even though that till had a long queue, whilst Janet's till had none.

"It's not like you're going to catch it," Janet mumbled under her breath as she stealthily adjusted her opaque black tights.

Janet's wait for a customer would be short-lived, though, as within minutes, a familiar group of three girls approached her checkout. Janet put on her sweetest smile as the three teenagers paid for their snacks, but her smile began to waver as the last of the three girls- the blonde girl who had intrigued her the previous day- hesitated while paying for her purchases. Sensing the teenager's nerves, Janet cleared her throat and tried to break the awkward silence.

"H- hello again," Janet said with a smile. "You were in here yesterday, weren't you?"

"Umm, yeah," the blonde girl mumbled. "Hi..."

"Hi," Janet said quietly. "Did- did you find everything you were looking for?"

"Umm, yeah," the girl repeated, her voice wavering in a way Janet was all too familiar with. "I, um, I need to go..."

"You have fun at college," Janet said softly. "See you tomorrow, maybe?"

"Umm, maybe," the blonde girl mumbled as she left the supermarket, leaving Janet to sigh heavily. The waver in the girl's voice was one Janet herself had experienced many times- each time when attempting to mask her natural deep voice with a higher pitched, more feminine tone. It was a skill she hadn't quite mastered yet, and by the sound of things, nor had the girl. Janet knew why the girl had somehow seemed 'familiar' to her- and also why the girl seemed so interested in her.

As the blonde girl rejoined her friends, Janet felt a twinge of envy- at 5' 7" and with a slender build, she passed a lot better than Janet could ever dream of, and obviously also had friends and a social life, and had her whole life ahead of her, filled with limitless possibilities. She may have had to have started all over again recently, but it was undoubtedly easier to do that at 16 or 17 than at 42.

Janet shook her head as she watched the girl depart, silently chastising herself for her envy and for prejudging the girl based on just two short meetings. Sure, the girl had friends, but that didn't mean that she had a happy home life- Janet reasoned that the girl's coming out could easily have gone as badly as her own. And while she had two friends who obviously accepted her, that wasn't to say that the other hundreds of students at her college did. And there were countless of other factors that could be conspiring to make her new female life a misery. After all, if a superstar like Stephanie Abbott needed to stay in a psychiatric hospital, then anyone could.

And yet, Janet couldn't help shake the feeling that even though she knew why the girl familiar, that she knew her somehow, that she'd seen her face some place before...

----------

"We're coming in here tomorrow, aren't we?" Monique asked with a loud sigh as Ellie cringed. "How many words did you say to her, two, three?"

"I need to work up to it, you know," Ellie mumbled. "She probably didn't even realise, you know, about me..."

"With all the make-up you wear, I'm not surprised!" Monique snorted. "Though, you know, I get why you wear it, like..."

"...Topic change?" Kacey asked, sighing as Ellie nodded her head. "Okay then, who do you reckon's going out of Strictly this weekend?"

"If it ain't Ed Balls it's an in-fucking-justice," Monique scoffed. "Though Daisy's been in the bottom two twice now, like?"

"Reckon the BBC are getting at her 'cause her dad's doing the Voice on ITV?" Kacey asked.

"Dunno, maybe," Monique shrugged. "What you reckon, Ellie?"

"Huh?" Ellie mumbled, having been suddenly startled by the mention of her name. "Umm... Yeah. Ed's gotta go, right?"

"We won't make any jokes about you wanting to 'get rid of Balls'," Kacey said, smirking as Ellie let out a small giggle.

"GOOD," Ellie said as she and her friends left the supermarket- though she couldn't help but cast a glance behind her at the older transwoman as she left, wondering what, if anything, she would say to her the following day if they met again...

As usual, the day at college was long and tiring, and when Ellie returned to her friend's house, she hoped that she would be able to relax and wind down. The sight that greeted her, however, made Ellie fear that that wouldn't be possible for a very, very long time.

"Wh- what's happening?" Ellie screeched as she saw her friend's father carry two large bin liners out to his car- bin liners filled with her possessions.

"D- dad?" Kacey stammered, every bit as surprised as Ellie herself was.

"What's happening," Kacey's father explained, "is that your friend is going to find herself a new home!"

"Wh- what new home?" Ellie pleaded, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I've got nothing! Nowhere to go, no one to help... You were literally the only people willing to help out!"

"Yep," Mr. Harris replied. "And in return, you said you'd look for a place of your own and find a job. Have you done either of those things, or have you just been laid on our couch the whole time eating our food?"

"I- I've looked for a job, I swear I have," Ellie blubbed.

"'Looking' isn't the same thing as 'finding'," Mr. Harris scoffed. "If we'd just left you to it, you'd have still been on our sofa when you were forty. This way, you'll hopefully be a little more motivated to start doing things for yourself!"

"By throwing me out on the street?" Ellie screeched.

"I'm not 'throwing you out on the street'," Mr. Harris retorted. "There's a homeless shelter not far from here, I've had a word and they're going to give you a roof until you find your own place."

"A- a homeless shelter?" Kacey said, tears beginning to form in her own eyes. "Dad, you know what Ellie's been through, you can't-"

"I could always give her your room and take you to the homeless shelter," Mr. Harris interrupted, silencing his daughter before turning to the girl who had slept on his sofa for the previous few weeks. "Get in."

With her cheeks burning and tears trickling down her cheeks, Ellie shuffled to the passenger door and took a seat in the car. As she passed Kacey, she noticed that the brown-haired girl wasn't able to return her gaze, her face instead turned to the floor in shame- but Ellie also knew that Kacey could have done a lot more to defend her. Instead, she'd have her own bed and her own room in her own house with her own family, while Ellie's future had been thrown into chaos.

"Just so you know," Mr. Harris said as he reversed his car off of his driveway, "this has nothing to do with you being transgendered. I have no problem with my daughter having a transgendered friend, as long as they're actually a good influence and don't leech off of my hard-earned money!"

"Yeah, that's not really a comfort," Ellie snorted.

"...I could always drop you off here and let you walk to the homeless shelter if you'd prefer?" Mr. Harris asked, staring expectantly at the blonde girl.

"...Sorry," Ellie mumbled. "And thank you for the lift."

"Better," Mr. Harris said, taking a deep breath to calm himself as he drove the short distance to the homeless shelter.

No words were exchanged between the girl and the older man as he pulled up outside the shelter and placed her belongings on the kerb, though Ellie did wave at the car as it drove away- though once she was certain that her friend's father was no longer looking, her friendly waved turned into a middle-fingered salute.

"Fuck you," Ellie mouthed, before sighing as she picked up her belongings and headed into the shelter, shivering with fear as she approached the front desk.

The once source of comfort for Ellie was that she would be placed in the female dorm for her stay at the shelter- the manager of the place being unwilling to face a lawsuit- but even that comfort when she saw what laid inside the dorm. The only place she could store her belongings was an upright locker barely a quarter the size of the average wardrobe, her 'bed' was little more than a mattress with a plain white sheet lazily thrown over it, and worse yet, she had nowhere to charge her phone- which was already down to its last scrap of battery power.

As she tried to cram her meagre belongings into her even more meagre storage, Ellie found herself weeping openly. She'd heard stories about how, in the past, people would be imprisoned for being gay, or openly transgendered, and she knew that the same thing happened in some third world countries in the present day as well. Ellie never expected that it would happen to her, someone living in the world's fifth largest economy in 2016.

As Ellie laid on her mattress, she tried desperately to think of a way, any way to dig herself out of the hole she'd found herself in, but nothing came to mind. With tears in her eyes, Ellie wondered if anyone would miss her if she died tomorrow- her family certainly wouldn't, her friends would barely notice and there was no one else in her life who cared for her... Except maybe, maybe one person.

With no other options, she switched on her phone, praying that it would have enough battery and data allowance for what she needed, logged into Facebook and started typing a message.

'Hi Stephanie,' Ellie typed. 'I don't know if you remember me, but we met last month. I hate to have to come to you like this, but I have no one else to turn to, and I'm in desperate need of help...'

----------

Janet let out a long sigh as she kicked off her shoes and relaxed onto her sofa after her second day as a supermarket cashier. As Dr Healy had all but promised, it had been smoother than the previous day, but there were still many moments that Janet would like to forget, customers who looked down their nose at her, customer who winced when she handled their groceries, customers who refused to even allow her anywhere near them.

But as with the day before, Janet got through the day. She entered the store as a woman, and as the skirt, blouse and make-up she wore attested, she left the store as a woman. The customers may have denied her their custom, but they would never be able to deny her her femininity.

However, for all that Janet had gained, she had lost so, so much more. Her old friends, her old life, and worst of all, her family. Janet sighed as she picked up her phone and, in what had become a twisted ritual for her, browsed to the two pages she had bookmarked on her web browser- the Facebook profiles of Ethan Cole and Lindsay Cole, her children. Janet sighed as she stared at the two teenagers' faces, knowing what would happen next.

As she typed in her email address and password, Janet silently cursed herself. She knew full well what the result would be, but she continued to torture herself anyway on the off chance that maybe, just maybe, the inevitable WOULDN'T happen.

However, as it had on the countless previous times, the inevitable message popped up on the phone's screen- 'you have been blocked from viewing this profile'. Janet let out a long, pained groan and threw her phone onto the sofa, silently weeping at the injustice of the world. She was about to switch her phone off completely when her phone pinged to inform her of a new message on Facebook messenger. Janet allowed herself to get her hopes up that it was one of her children contacting her, before chastising herself once again for being unrealistic.

When she read who the message was from and what it contained, though, she realised that her hopes could have been even less realistic...

----------

Ellie kept her head held low as she walked out of the crowded college building. Her first full day of homelessness had started poorly, with her being unable to shower and barely getting enough time to wash her face and use the toilet, and no time to apply the make-up that she loved- or even to fish it out from the back of her overstuffed locker. With the homeless shelter being further from her college than Kacey's home, she'd been forced to take the tube instead of the bus, which was an experience that always stressed her out, and when she arrived at the college, Kacey and Monique tried their hardest to avoid her- though whether this was out of the shame of being associated with a homeless person, or shame at their inaction, Ellie couldn't say. The one saving grace of the day was that she'd been able to sneakily plug her phone in to charge during her class, and when she left the college, she switched the phone on- and a genuine smile crept across her face for the first time in several days when she discovered that her desperate plea had been answered.

'Meet me at the Costa near the Redbridge tube station at 4pm,' Stephanie had typed. 'Got someone I'd like you to meet.' Ellie took a deep breath to calm her nerves and stop her hands from shaking as she sent a reply confirming that she'd be at the coffee shop. She immediately set off toward her destination, almost running at times due to her anxiety and her eagerness to once again meet her famous friend- who, she noted, had done more to help her than her 'real' friends had.

Ellie arrived at the coffee shop ahead of time and ordered herself a drink while she waited, but her wait was short-lived, as a few minutes later, the confident, brown-haired figure of Stephanie Abbott breezed into the building with a wide grin on her face. Ellie giggled nervously as the famous singer approached her, though her nerves quickly changed to surprise when she saw who was accompanying her.

"Y- You!?" Ellie exclaimed.

----------

"Thanks for meeting up like this," Stephanie said, greeting Janet with a gentle hug as they met outside the supermarket where she worked. "Job going well, then?"

"As well as can be expected for a 42 year old rugby player wearing a dress," Janet sighed, earning a loud groan from her famous friend.

"Ugh, how many times," Stephanie sighed. "You are gorgeous and girly, no matter your height, your build or your age. If you dedicate yourself to being the woman you want to be, then you ARE the woman you want to be, end of story."

"Easy to say when you're on hormones," Janet retorted, though her playful tone of voice earned a giggle from the singer.

"Yeah, well THEY were hard earned," Stephanie sighed. "And you will earn them too, Janet. I promise. Sooner rather than later, I'm willing to bet."

"Fingers crossed," Janet sighed as the two women headed to the taxi that Stephanie had booked." So, who's this girl you want me to meet?"

"Her name is Ellie Blake," Stephanie explained. "I met her last month when the band did an outreach thing at her college, we chatted briefly, I added her on Facebook, thought everything was okay. Last night, she messages me saying she's in a homeless shelter thinking of ending it all."

"Poor girl," Janet breathed.

"Obviously, I can't ignore THAT," Stephanie explained. "Then I remembered that you had a spare room, and- well, I don't want to be an imposition, but Kayla and I don't have a spare room, I wouldn't feel right dumping her onto my parents, and- and I, umm..."

"You thought I'd be lonely, all by myself in my flat?" Janet asked, smiling as Stephanie blushed and nodded. "Well... You'd kinda be right, heh. But I'm going to want to meet this girl first."

"Oh, I reckon you'll like her," Stephanie said with a smile. "She's a bit, you know, teenager-ish..."

"Raised two of them already, know what I'm doing," Janet said with a smile as the taxi arrived at the coffee shop and the two women entered the building. As she saw the identity of the person waiting for them, though, Janet's jaw dropped in shock.

"Y- you!?" The blonde girl who had stopped at Janet's checkout twice in two days exclaimed as she saw her approach.

"Y- you?" Janet replied.

"Wait- do- do you two know each other already?" Stephanie asked.

"Well- yes and no," Janet breathed as she sat down opposite the blonde girl. "She- she's come into my supermarket. Twice."

"Yeah," The blonde girl confirmed. "Coincidence, huh?"

"Nah," Stephanie shook her head. "I don't believe in coincidence. Obviously you were meant to meet."

"Are you sure?" The blonde girl asked.

"I remember my first audition for Out of Heaven," Stephanie retorted. "I was nervous as hell, when another girl sat down next to me, we got chatting and instantly became friends. Know who that girl was? Her name was Kayla Ford. And right now, she's not just my bandmate, not just my flat mate, but she's my best mate. Fate brought us together, I'm sure of it, and it's brought you two together too."

"I- I'm not so sure," the blonde girl said.

"Well I AM," Stephanie said firmly. "Janet Cole, meet Ellie Blake. Ellie, meet Janet." Stephanie watched apprehensively as the two women sized each other up, before the older of the two took a deep breath to speak.

"So- so you're Ellie, then?" Janet asked, chuckling in an attempt to clear her head.

"Uh- uh-huh," Ellie replied. "And- and you're Janet?"

"Yep," the middle-aged woman replied, extending a hand. "Nice to meet you, Ellie."

"Nice to meet you too," Ellie whispered, exchanging a limp handshake with the older woman. "So- so you are-"

"Yep," Janet said with a playful sigh. "As- as are you, right?"

"Uh-huh," Ellie mumbled, averting her gaze.

"Hey," Stephanie said firmly. "There's no need to be ashamed of who we- who WE- are. None at all. We are all girls, right?"

"'Girl' might be stretching it in my case," Janet chuckled.

"ALL of us," Stephanie insisted, grinning with determination as Janet nodded. "So let's look each other in the eye and talk, girl to girl. I'll go first, even though, well, you both know me. I'm Stephanie Abbott, but I was born as 'Stephen' Abbott. I'm twenty years old, and I've been fascinated with girly things my whole life. And, well, I joined a girl band, became rich and famous and nearly went round the bend as a result. But my friends, my family and my counsellors helped me out, and now I've been on HRT for a month and I have no intention of looking back."

Stephanie watched on like a proud parent as Janet and Ellie exchanged their stories, and the more they talked, the more at ease the two women became with each other, until they were eventually smiling at each other's anecdotes and even laughing at points.

"I can't imagine what it'd be like," Ellie sighed. "If my parents suddenly transitioned."

"I've often wondered what it'd be like to have a transgendered child," Janet replied. "Son or daughter. I'd like to think I'd be, you know, supportive, help them to understand themselves..."

"You'd be a lot better than my parents, then," Ellie sighed. "Actually... I reckon you'd be a good parent."

"'Mum' or 'dad'?" Janet asked, making the teenaged girl blush.

"Both," Ellie said. "Or either. I dunno." Ellie grimaced as her non-committal response created an awkward silence at the table

"So, then..." Stephanie said. "Janet, you have a spare room, and Ellie, you need a place to stay..."

"It's not a huge room," Janet sighed. "More of a glorified cupboard, really. But it's not too far from your college, and it would be YOUR room."

"It's more than anyone else has offered," Ellie said.

"And I'd need to clear it with my landlord," Janet continued. "Though he is a pretty easy-going guy. And I'd need to fill in paperwork, rearrange things like Child Benefit, get you registered..."

"Anything you want me to do there, I will," Ellie said.

"As will I," Stephanie said with a proud grin.

"And there's no guarantee that we won't-" Janet said, before chuckling. "That we won't get on each other's tits before too long, if you'll pardon the wording."

"It's exactly the way I'd have worded it," Ellie giggled. "So... Can I- can I get my stuff from the homeless shelter, then?"

"I don't see why not," Janet said, smiling as the blonde girl giggled excitedly for the first time in a very long time.

"You know," Stephanie mused as she and her friends finished their drinks, "I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"

Ellie smiled as she woke up on her comfortable single bed. It had been one of the most turbulent weeks of her young life, if not THE most turbulent, but it had finally ended, and for once, Ellie had a reason to feel positive about her future, all thanks to one person- the woman who was, unsurprisingly, already awake when Ellie emerged from her room, glad only in a knee-length t-shirt.

"Good afternoon," Janet teased, chuckling as the teenager rolled her eyes. "Can't blame you for wanting a lie-in though, the week you've had. You've definitely earned it."

"Yeah," Ellie yawned, rubbing her tired eyes as she plopped onto the sofa. "What time is it?"

"Just gone 10:30am," Janet replied. "I've only been up an hour myself if I'm honest. There's water in the kettle if you want to make yourself some coffee.

"Thanks," Ellie mumbled. "And, you know, thanks again."

"You don't need to thank me every morning!" Janet said, chuckling as the teenager blushed. "So, how you planning on spending your hard-earned Saturday?"

"Just, umm, meeting some friends," Ellie replied. "You?"

"Still got, you know, stuff to do..." Janet replied. Ellie nodded quietly at the response- she knew that the 'stuff' Janet referred to was undoubtedly related to her, just as she knew how busy the 42 year old woman had been since Ellie moved in.

As Janet had promised, on the day that Ellie moved in, she filled out all the official paperwork to make everything 'official'. While Ellie was at college, Janet would be her legal guardian and receive the child benefit for her- a task made easy by Ellie's biological parents surrendering the benefit months earlier. Ellie's bank account was registered at her new address, and her college was made aware of the change too- which was when Ellie's new 'idyllic' life hit its first snag.

----------

"...And so," Janet explained to the principal of Ellie's college, "I have agreed to act as Ellie's legal guardian whilst she studies here."

"I see," the principal- a very middle-class man in his mid-fifties- replied as he assessed the scene in front of him.

On his left was Ellie, a student he'd known since the start of September, dressed in her usual attire of a short skirt, translucent tights and a clingy black top that showed a little cleavage. On his right was Janet, who he's only met minutes earlier, dressed in a smart pencil skirt, opaque black tights and a turtleneck sweater that showed off her figure. However, the principal couldn't look past the knowledge that Janet's figure, much like Ellie's cleavage, was entirely artificial, and that anatomically, the two women sat at the desk were identical to him.

"Mister- umm, Mrs. Cole?" The principal asked, stammering as Janet's smile turned into a frown. "Ms. Cole. I'm not questioning your generosity in doing this for Ellie, not for one second, but do you- do you feel that it is, not to put too fine a point on it, appropriate?"

"I have a spare room, Ellie needs a roof over her head," Janet replied. "We were introduced by a mutual friend, I don't see that there's a problem."

"But- but there IS an age gap," the principal replied.

"Yes," Janet replied. "Hence why I'm claiming the child benefit for her rather than the other way round!" Ellie bit her lip to prevent herself from smirking- she knew exactly what the principal was getting at, and she was sure that Janet knew too, but was choosing to feign ignorance.

"But what I mean-" the principal said, before letting out a long sigh. "You have to think about how this looks from the outside looking in. A sixteen year old boy, who dresses as a girl, moves in with a forty-two year old man, who dresses as a woman. That will set off alarm bells with anyone."

"Except Ellie is NOT a boy, and I am NOT a man," Janet said firmly. "And I'm not sure I like what you're implying."

"This is the sort of thing that makes the papers," the principal said.

"Maybe in the 1980s," Janet retorted. "But we live in better times now. And let me just state, for the record, that I have never been accused of being a paedophile before, and if you accuse me again, THEN there will be a story for the papers!" Janet bit her lip at her half-lie- the principal was indeed the first person who insinuate that she was a paedophile, but only if you didn't count members of her own family.

"There is no need to make threats, mist- Ms. Cole," the principal replied.

"Then there will be no problem with me becoming Ellie's legal guardian," Janet said firmly. "And let me state something else for the record- a man who chooses to wear a dress is not a paedophile. A man who chooses to wear women's clothing full-time is not a paedophile. A man who transitions to become a woman is not a paedophile. Am I making myself clear?"

"Perfectly," the principal said. "But are you willing to tell that to the eight million people living in this city? Or the sixty million people living in this country?"

"If I have to, yes," Janet said, making Ellie beam with pride. "I only asked for this meeting as a courtesy to you, not to ask for permission. There is nothing you can do about me becoming Ellie's legal guardian. Unless, of course, you want to expel her. But I guarantee you THAT will be a story for the papers!"

"That won't be necessary," the principal mumbled, making the two women in the room smile smugly as he noted the details of the new living arrangements and had Ellie's record updated accordingly.

After leaving the college, the two women paid a visit to Janet's landlord to explain the situation. It was technically his flat that Ellie would be living in, so he did have to have a say in whether or not she could stay there, but Janet was sure than when he met the teenaged girl, he'd instantly like her. However, for the second time in as many hours, the two women's ambitions were to be thwarted.

"...Are you kidding me?" The dark-skinned man asked after Janet had explained the situation.

"Umm... No," Janet replied. "Ellie is a friend of a friend who has been made homeless, and I've offered her the spare room, which you said I could offer to a friend or family member if I so wished."

"I was thinking more about your own kids, if they wanted to stay with you," Janet's landlord retorted.

"Which you know isn't going to happen any time soon," Janet said coldly. "Is there any reason I can't allow Ellie to stay in the spare room?"

"Well- you know?" The landlord said with a strained voice. "It's gonna look a bit dodgy, isn't it? Two women who used to be men, one older, one younger..."

"Would it be dodgy if Ellie and I had been born female?" Janet asked.

"Which I was, as far as I'm concerned," Ellie interjected, bringing a look of shame to the dark-skinned man's face.

"I'm only saying what other people are gonna say," the landlord sighed. "Devil's advocate, that sort of thing... I don't want to end up getting in any trouble myself."

"What trouble would YOU get into?" Janet retorted. "Renting a flat to an acquaintance and allowing them to take a lodger? Where's the harm in that?"

"Do her parents know about this?" The landlord asked.

"My parents couldn't give a shit about me," Ellie spat. "They've got no right to complain about someone who actually cares." Janet bit her lip as Ellie briefly gazed at her with a look of genuine appreciation in her eyes.

"Of course if you say 'no', then Ellie will just have to find somewhere else," Janet said. "The homeless shelter she was just at wasn't very nice, but-"

"Okay, okay, fine," the landlord sighed. "But the same rules apply to her as they do all my tenants. No loud music, no pets, no repainting without my permission and absolutely no drugs of any kind including tobacco. Agreed?"

"Fine with me, I don't smoke anyway," Ellie shrugged.

"And if possible, I would like a reference," the landlord said.

"Now that I can do," Janet said, writing down a telephone number and passing it to the tall man. "Her name's Stephanie. Stephanie Abbott." Janet forced herself not to smirk as the landlord visibly made connections in his brain, connections that made his eyes go wide in shock.

"...THE Stephanie Abbott?" The dark-skinned man asked.

"You've heard of her, then?" Janet asked. "She was the mutual friend I was talking about."

"My 13 year old daughter's crazy for Out of Heaven," the landlord laughed. "She absolutely idolises the black one, Adeola I think her name is?"

"That's her," Janet said with a smug grin. "I can see if I can blag some merchandise for you if you'd like?" Janet's grin grew wider and was matched by the expression on Ellie's face as the landlord slowly nodded, before letting out a long sigh.

"Welcome aboard, Miss Blake," the landlord said, giving Ellie a firm handshake as the teenaged girl giggled. "Just hope I don't live to regret this..."

----------

"So what time are you heading out?" Janet asked.

"Umm, probably after breakfast," Ellie replied. "Have- have you called Steph yet? About that merchandise, you know?"

"Ehh, not yet, don't want to pressure her," Janet said. "And I don't want to rely on her for everything, if you get what I mean. Don't want to piss her off so much she tells us to piss off."

"Yeah," Ellie whispered as she ate her breakfast in silence, before returning to the tiny room that she called her own and letting out a long sigh.

Janet was right- with how busy Stephanie was, it was nothing short of a miracle that she'd found the time to introduce the two of them and solve Ellie's housing woes. Ellie felt guilty at the mere thought of pestering the famous singer for further help. She knew Steph well enough to know that outwardly, she wouldn't have a problem with it, but on the inside, she'd have to be wondering how much more she'd end up having to do for the teenager, when if it wasn't for her, Ellie would likely be homeless. Ellie wondered if maybe she deserved to be homeless, whether or not she was truly worthy of the stroke of luck that had brought her to Stephanie's and subsequently Janet's attention.

As Ellie applied her typically heavy layer of make-up, she was also forced to concede that if it wasn't for her connection to Stephanie, she probably wouldn't even have any friends to go out and meet up with. She knew that if she was in Kacey & Monique's place, she probably wouldn't want to hang out with her if there wasn't anything she could potentially get her...

Ellie shook her head and chastised herself for her self-pity- undoubtedly one of her biggest faults- as she reached into her drawers for a clean pair of tights. She had been in a bad situation, sure, but she wasn't any more. She had not just a roof over her head, but a home, a place she could truly make her own. She had a friend and role model she could look up to in Janet, and regardless of why Kacey and Monique were her friends, the fact remained that they WERE friends. After the worst day of Ellie's life, when she'd been left alone and afraid, the duo had made an effort to include the blonde girl again in their group, and Ellie had made an effort to put her anxiety and self-pity aside and be the kind of friend that she'd always wanted while she was growing up. After all, as far as she was concerned, Ellie was just an average sixteen year old girl...

"Like it?" Ellie asked as she emerged from her bedroom and did a playful twirl for Janet in her extra-tight black miniskirt and purple turtleneck sweater.

"Very cute," Janet chuckled. "Very girly! Even if it's a bit more make-up than I'd wear. And I grew up in the eighties, heh!"

"I like make-up," Ellie shrugged. "It's not a crime, is it?"

"On the contrary, it should be a crime to NOT wear make-up when you're going out," Janet giggled. "And that applies to both genders too!" Janet smiled as the teenaged girl let out a genuine giggle. She'd noticed that Ellie typically didn't smile much, but when she did, her whole face lit up. Janet felt pity for Ellie- it was easy to guess why the teenager didn't smile much, but depression and misery were vicious circles that it was hard to break free from. Janet had already tried one method of 'breaking free' from her own depression that had thankfully failed, and she was determined never to try again, or to let anyone she cared about try either.

Janet was confident, though, that Ellie's friends were the perfect people to lift her out of her funk, and as the teenager left the flat, Janet's smile widened. Helping Ellie was the best therapy Janet had ever had, and every time Ellie felt happy was proof enough that Janet- not John, but Janet Cole- was making a positive contribution to the world. She just wished that there was more she could do- and that she'd had someone willing to help her through the low times...

----------

"Hey girlie!" Monique said with a grin as Ellie approached the table where she and Kacey were already sat. "Got your usual!"

"You are an ANGEL," Ellie said, taking the hot drink from the dark-skinned girl and sitting in the chair that had been saved for her.

"And if anyone knows about Angels, right?" Kacey teased, sighing as Ellie began to blush.

"Shut up," Ellie mumbled.

"Ah, but it's still such an amazing story, you know?" Monique giggled. "The kind of thing they write movies about, like? You and the cashier, of all people! Both of you know Steph, she brings the two of you together..."

"What's she like, anyway?" Kacey asked. "I mean, like, when she's not sat behind a checkout? Is she strict?"

"She's okay," Ellie shrugged. "And it's not like she can bollock me or anything, she's not my mum, you know?"

"Meh, I guess," Kacey shrugged. "You still talking to Steph?"

"She's checked in a couple of times," Ellie shrugged. "She is kinda busy, you know? Still amazed that she had any time to help me after- well, you know..."

"Yeah," Kacey mumbled, frowning with guilt over the actions of her father. "He's said, you know, that he doesn't mind if you go round, like- like, for the day..."

"So he can rub it in my face that he was 'right'?" Ellie snorted, grimacing as her friend's frown deepened. The last thing she wanted was to alienate them further...

"...He probably would," Kacey conceded. "Doesn't feel even the tiniest bit guilty about chucking you out."

"Well I don't wanna spend all day outside, it's freezing!" Monique complained. "And it's not like we can go back to mine..."

"...Wanna come back to mine?" Ellie asked, forcing a sly smile onto her scarlet lips. "I mean, now that I have a place, like?"

"Umm, sure!" Kacey giggled. "Janet okay with that?"

"Eh, not like she's doing anything else today," Ellie shrugged. "It's just a couple of stops away on the tube, not far from college actually."

"Cool!" Monique giggled. "I'll get us some more drinks then we'll head right there? Freezing my arse off out here!"

"And you're sure Janet will be okay with this?" Kacey asked.

"Course she will," Ellie replied with a smug grin. Unlike your father, the blonde teenager thought to herself as she and her friends grabbed their coats and headed back to the nearest tube station.

----------

Janet stretched her tired feet out on her coffee table as she examined the bottles of nail polish in front of her. As much as she liked Ellie and enjoyed having company, she was grateful to have a bit of time to herself- so much so that when she heard the front door open, she let out a low moan of frustration.

"Back so soon?" Janet asked, clearing away the nail polish and reaching for her socks.

"Yeah," Ellie replied. "It's kinda cold outside..."

"Eh, can't say I bla-" Janet froze as she saw two young women- both of whom she instantly recognised- walk into the flat alongside Ellie. "Umm, hello..."

"Umm, hi!" Monique said with a nervous wave. "Ellie said we could hang out here..."

"Did she?" Janet sighed. "Well- okay, I guess. Make yourselves at home. Want something to drink?"

"No, we- we brought our own drinks," Kacey said.

"Well- I'll make myself a drink, I guess," Janet said as she headed through to the kitchen, which was still close enough to the living room to hear her guests' conversation despite their talking in a low whisper.

"I thought you said she'd be okay?" Kacey asked. "She looks well pissed off..."

"Nah, she's okay, it was just a surprise, that's all," Ellie replied, making Janet roll her eyes.

"You didn't text her, then?" Kacey asked.

"It's not like you're moving in," Ellie replied. "Honestly, she's fine with it."

"Meh, okay then," Monique shrugged. "Glad we've got SOMEWHERE we can hang out where we're not getting shouted at. And before you say anything, yes, I know it's me and Kacey's parents who are in the wrong, not you! Unless, of course, Janet's a closet racist or something..."

"Okay then," Janet said loudly as she carried her mug of tea through from the kitchen. "Sorry about the mess, I'd have tidied up if I knew we were having guests." Janet allowed herself a smug grin as Ellie averted her gaze and scowled. "We haven't been properly introduced, have we? Unless we count you buying stuff at my supermarket, anyway!"

"No, heh," Kacey nervously chuckled. "I- I'm Kacey, Kacey Harris."

"Monique Daniels," the dark-skinned girl said with a half-hearted wave.

"And I'm Janet, Janet Cole," the 42 year old woman said with a smile. "And of course, we all know Ellie."

"Yeah," Kacey said with a chuckle, prompting an awkward silence that caused all four women to fidget uncomfortably.

"So, then," Janet said, barely suppressing a sigh. "You two studying music as well?"

"Umm, no, theatre studies," Kacey replied.

"Same here," Monique said.

"Ah, budding actresses, then?" Janet asked.

"Kinda more interested in the behind-the-scenes stuff," Kacey shrugged, still fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat. "Always wanted to be a director, there ain't, umm, enough women directors, you know?"

"Girl power!" Janet giggled as Ellie's cheeks started to flush with embarrassment. "Heh, you're probably too young to remember that!"

"A bit, yeah," Kacey said, leading to another awkward silence.

"So, then," Janet said, this time not suppressing her sigh. "Who are some of your favourite directors?"

The next ninety minutes passed by awkwardly as Janet tried to engage her much younger companions in conversation, only for each conversation to fizzle out just as quickly as it had started. Eventually, Kacey and Monique made their excuses, and were escorted to the door by their blonde friend.

"Ugh, sorry about that," Ellie whispered as her two friends put on their coats and shoes.

"Nah, what for?" Monique replied. "I reckon she's cool, you know? Like, 45 going on 15, that sort of thing?"

"She's trying to be, anyway," Kacey said. "Definitely cooler than my parents!"

"See you on Monday, okay?" Monique asked, giggling as she and Kacey exchanged gentle, girlish hugs with Ellie before leaving the flat and heading back to their respective homes. Janet frowned as Ellie sat down next to her on the sofa, still unable to return her gaze.

"...They seemed nice," Janet said, breaking the awkward silence that had once again filled the room.

"They're okay," Ellie shrugged.

"Mmm," Janet nodded. "Thanks for apologising for me, by the way, didn't get round to that while I was trying to make conversation..."

"Ugh, sorry," Ellie mumbled. "You weren't meant to hear that..."

"This living room's about the size of a phone box," Janet retorted. "Kinda hard NOT to hear things I'm not supposed to. But, I guess I've been 16 before, believe it or not, and I do remember bits of what it was like."

"Did you hang out with 40 year olds when you were sixteen?" Ellie asked, making Janet roll her eyes.

"No, I usually hung out with my friends in my room," Janet retorted. "And before you say anything, yes, I know that if this room is the size of a phone box, your room is the size of a shoe box, and I can't really expect you to entertain your friends in there. But you can't expect me to just up sticks and hole up in my room when your friends drop round. Especially without so much as a text warning me."

"...Sorry," Ellie mumbled again.

"No need to apologise, no harm was done in the long run," Janet said. "And I wasn't joking when I said that Kacey and Monique seemed nice. Notice how they didn't seem to have a problem with the idea of two transgendered women of very different ages living together?"

"They had time to get used to the idea," Ellie shrugged.

"Nah, it's more than that," Janet said softly. "Notice how they were the only people we've met together who haven't so much as batted an eyelid at the idea? Sometimes I think your generation's the ones with their heads screwed on the most."

"Maybe," Ellie shrugged. "Even if we do show up without texting first." Janet bit her tongue as Ellie sighed, before returning to her bedroom, where she stayed for the rest of the afternoon.

Once Ellie was out of sight, the 42 year old woman let out a long sigh. She was no stranger to teenagers, or to their need to rebel. When her son was fourteen, it was impossible to get him to do anything, regardless of how politely Janet asked. Housework went undone, his bedroom became a pig sty and his vocabulary seemed to consist only of incoherent grunts. When Janet's daughter turned thirteen, she seemed to change overnight from a sweet young girl, interested in dolls and ponies, into an independent young woman obsessed with fashion, make-up and celebrities. Both children eventually grew out of their 'phases'- Ethan gradually turned into a responsible, well-groomed young man- though how much of that was down to wanting to impress his first girlfriend and how much was down to Janet, the middle-aged woman couldn't say- while Lindsay turned her interest in imitating the likes of Taylor Swift into actually learning a musical instrument and taking singing lessons.

As Janet noted, though, in the ten months since she had last seen her children, all that could have changed. She didn't love her children any less than she had when she was 'John'- if anything, she loved them even more. And she certainly didn't love them any less for having gone through their 'phases', even though Janet was forced to concede that her own 'phase' had taken over her life. She may have been much more comfortable in her skin as 'Janet' than she had been as 'John', but she wasn't any happier with her children absent from her life, and she didn't want to force Ellie into a surrogate role she wouldn't be comfortable with, especially as others would rightly point out that such a relationship could quickly become 'inappropriate'.

Janet was Ellie's guardian, her friend, but definitely not her mother- but that didn't mean that Ellie didn't need the guiding hand of a parent, especially as she was undoubtedly hurting in the same way that Janet herself was.

Predictably, Ellie didn't emerge from her bedroom until early evening, when both women's stomachs had begun to rumble.

"Ready for dinner, then?" Janet asked, smirking as Ellie nodded. "I'll get started on it. Want anything in particular?"

"No, whatever will be okay," Ellie shrugged.

"Kacey- Kacey's parents are the ones you stayed with before coming to me, aren't they?" Janet asked.

"Yep," Ellie sighed. "Captain 'tough love and even tougher shit if you fail'."

"Yeah, I remember you describing what happened," Janet sighed. "And- and Monique's parents?"

"Actually kicked HER out when I showed up there for the first time," Ellie snorted.

"Ugh," Janet spat. "Disapproving of a friend is heinous of itself, but- but what kind of person would do that to their own child?"

"I dunno, try asking my parents," Ellie retorted, silencing the older woman.

"...You- do you have a counsellor you see about these things?" Janet asked.

"Just an NHS one," Ellie sighed. "Only see her every two weeks and she isn't much help."

"Well- well I'm not exactly trained," Janet said. "But any- any time you want to talk to me, you know where I am. And it's not like I don't know what you're going through."

"Yeah, I guess," Ellie sighed. "Do- do you want a hand in there? Making dinner, I mean?"

"That'd be great, thanks," Janet replied with a smile.

The rest of the weekend passed by with the two women maintaining a polite demeanour around the other, but keeping their distance from each other. Ellie seriously considered Janet's offer of a friendly ear, but decided not to strike up a conversation with the older woman. Ellie's problem wasn't that she didn't want to say anything, but that she didn't know what she wanted to say- and she certainly didn't want to make matters any more awkward than they already were by saying the wrong thing.

Eventually, Monday rolled around, and Janet and Ellie returned to work and college respectively- and the former had a wide grin on her face when she saw three familiar faces place their lunches on the end of her conveyor belt.

"Hi girls!" Janet said with a grin, which was mirrored by Kacey and Monique. "Another week, eh?"

"Eh, weekend wasn't gonna last forever," Monique shrugged.

"Much as we wish it would!" Kacey giggled. The third member of their trio, however, remained silent as she paid for her food.

"You remembered to lock the front door, right?" Janet asked Ellie, making the blonde girl blush with embarrassment.

"Yes," Ellie said with a heavy sigh.

"Good," Janet said, biting her lip as the rest of the transaction passed by in an awkward silence. The middle-aged woman gave a quiet wave to the teenaged girl as she left with her friends, before allowing herself a quiet sigh as she served her next customer. It seemed to Janet that every time she looked like she was going to get Ellie to open up to her, the teenager retreated further into her shell. Her instincts as a parent knew that this behaviour was just as common as Ellie's need to rebel against authority- but she also knew that in the long run, no good would come of it. Janet and Ellie NEEDED to talk- but Ellie had to make the first move.

However, as the week progressed, said 'move' was nowhere to be found. Each morning, Janet and Ellie would exchange their awkward greeting at Janet's checkout, and each evening, they would exchange awkward pleasantries at home before going about their own business, Janet watching television alone whilst Ellie retreated to her bedroom with her phone.

Eventually, Friday evening rolled around, signalling the start of the two women's second weekend together, and Janet quickly decided that if Ellie wasn't going to make the first move, she would.

"Hi Janet," Ellie mumbled as usual as she came through the front door of the flat, seeing the middle-aged woman sat in her usual spot on the sofa, still wearing her work blouse and skirt.

"Hi Ellie," Janet said in a serious tone of voice. "Can you sit down, please? We need to have a talk." Janet frowned as Ellie let out a disgusted-sounding grunt, followed by a long, pained sigh.

"...I'll go and pack my things, then," Ellie spat, causing Janet's face to screw up in confusion.

"No- no, that's not-" Janet stammered, before taking a deep breath. "I'm not kicking you out, Ellie, we- we really do just need to talk."

"Okay," Ellie said, dropping her bag in the middle of the floor and sitting down opposite Janet. "What do you want to talk about?"

"You," Janet said in her softest possible voice.

"Uhh- why?" Ellie asked.

"Because- and correct me if I'm wrong- I like to think that we're friends," Janet replied. "More than that, I have a responsibility to you. No, I'm not your mother, but that doesn't mean I don't give a shit, it doesn't mean that my responsibilities end by giving you a room and food."

"Why should you care?" Ellie asked. "It's not like you've not got your own problems."

"Everybody does," Janet said. "And yes, I've probably had more problems than most. But you can still share yours with mine if you want."

"I'm fine," Ellie shrugged.

"You're obviously not," Janet said. "Otherwise you wouldn't have assumed I was just going to kick you out on your arse. So people have treated you like shit, people who should know better. Doesn't mean everyone in the world is going to be a prat."

"I know," Ellie shrugged.

"So why assume that I was going to?" Janet asked.

"I dunno," Ellie shrugged.

"Ellie..." Janet sighed, leaning back in the chair with a frustrated sigh. "Drop the whole 'stereotypical teenager' thing, please? Had enough of that from my own kids. Don't tell me things are okay when they're obviously not and I can do something to help. And I want to help, I really do. We ARE friends, aren't we?"

"Sure," Ellie shrugged.

"Ringing endorsement," Janet sighed. "Ellie- what- what is it that you want?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Ellie snorted. "You of all people should know."

"So you want to be a woman," Janet sighed. "Yes, I do kinda know how that feels. But we can't go back in time or magically turn ourselves into women, so we do what we can. And sat here, all I can see when I look at you is a girl. You've got long blonde hair, make-up, you're wearing a short skirt, a tight top-"

"I've got a penis," Ellie spat.

"Yeah, 'cause I don't know what that's like," Janet said. "But here's the thing, Ellie. You don't have to keep that penis if you don't want to. Start transitioning, get your SRS on the NHS. I've read about girls getting them as young as 19. Think Jamie-Lee Burke was only 22 when she had her SRS."

"I'm not even on hormones yet," Ellie moaned.

"'Yet'," Janet said. "And neither am I. And trust me, Ellie, I need them a lot more than you do."

"Not really," Ellie mumbled.

"Umm, yes really," Janet said. "How tall are you? 5' 6"?"

"5' 7"," Ellie replied.

"I'm not far off six foot," Janet said. "What's your chest measurement?"

"34 inches," Ellie said.

"Forty," Janet retorted, pointing to herself. "And I bet, when we first met, you immediately realised I was transgendered, right? And don't say 'maybe' or 'I dunno'. Yes or no. Be truthful- I won't be offended."

"...Yes, I noticed," Ellie mumbled.

"I didn't notice you," Janet said. "When I was sixteen, I would've given anything, ANYTHING to have been able to pull on a skirt, wear make-up and hang out with girls the way you're doing."

"Even if it meant getting kicked out onto the streets?" Ellie asked, silencing the older woman.

"Well there's the big thing, isn't it?" Janet sighed. "You've been treated poorly. I'm not denying that. You deserve so, so much more than you have. But so do I. I was married for almost twenty years- longer than you've even been alive. I still love my wife. That hasn't changed just because I wear a skirt now, and my love for my kids will never, ever change, but the second I finally choose to be myself and they abandon me like I was nothing."

"...I'm sorry," Ellie mumbled.

"Why should you be sorry?" Janet asked. "You didn't do anything. To me or to anyone else. All you did was live your life the only way you know how, same as me. And I want to help you live that life. So do your friends."

"I guess," Ellie said.

"Don't guess," Janet said. "Know. You're not 'guessing' that you're a girl, are you? You know that you are."

"Yeah," Ellie said.

"And I know that too," Janet said softly. "About you AND me. So let me help you. I don't want to keep having to drag these admissions out of you. I want us to talk freely. Like you said, we ARE friends. And when I need help, I'd like it if I could get it from you."

"Why would you ever need help?" Ellie asked.

"In case I ever look longingly at a pill bottle again," Janet said, making the teenager's cheeks flush as she stared intently at her shoes.

"I'm sorry," Ellie mumbled again.

"So am I," Janet said. "Sorry I thought I couldn't live my life this way when I can. And so can you, Ellie. I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure that for the rest of your life, you are as girly as is humanly possible."

"Thanks," Ellie said with a genuine smile.

"So tell me," Janet said. "Who do you want? More than anything else. Don't think about, just say the first thing that comes to your head."

"I- I want to be a normal girl," Ellie confessed, chuckling as she got her 'confession' off her chest. "I want to hang out with friends, I want to have a boyfriend who treats me like a princess, I want- I want a family who loves me..." Janet sighed as the blonde girl broke down in a flood of tears, before leaning forward and giving her a long, comforting hug.

"I'm sorry," Janet whispered.

"No- no, thank you," Ellie sniffled, a smile spreading across her face. "Thank you for everything you've done... Another thing I want to be able to say that my best friend ISN'T 42 years old, heh. Umm, no offence..."

"Trust me, none taken," Janet chuckled. "But no matter what, I AM your friend. Any time you want to cry, my shoulder will be there to lean on."

"Thanks," Ellie whispered. "And any time, you know, you need, like, fashion or make-up tips-"

"Cheeky," Janet said, making the teenager giggle. "So, then... What've you got planned for tomorrow?"

"I dunno," Ellie shrugged. "Probably hanging out with Kacey and Monique... Can- can they-"

"Course they can," Janet shrugged. "All you have to do is ask."

"Yeah," Ellie chuckled as an idea sprang into Janet's head.

"Actually..." The middle-aged woman said with a smirk. "I might head out early tomorrow so if you head out and come back, I might be out myself."

"Okay," Ellie shrugged, not noticing as her flat mate’s smirk began to widen...

The following morning, Janet put her plan into action, heading out shortly after Ellie herself did and returning just under an hour later to be greeted by the sounds of excited teenage chatter.

"Hi girls," Janet said, momentarily silencing the conversation as she dropped a large shopping bag onto the sofa besides the three young women.

"...You been shopping?" Monique asked as Ellie tried her hardest not to feel embarrassed by her guardian's unexpected behaviour.

"Mm," Janet replied. "I figured I deserved to treat myself, so I, well did."

"Been clothes shopping, then?" Ellie asked.

"Not quite," Janet said with a wide, smug grin as she withdrew a tiny white plastic box from her bag.

"...A Wii?" Kacey asked.

"My budget doesn't exactly stretch to a PlayStation 4, but they have these in CeX cheap enough. Picked up an extra controller and a copy of Mario Kart, too. Assuming any of you are feeling brave enough, of course?" Janet bit her lip as she awaited the young women's response- they would either be enthusiastic, or they'd laugh her out of her own flat for daring to try to 'fit in'...

"...Bring it on!" Monique giggled, making Janet smile- and much to the middle-aged woman's relief, her young flat mate was sporting a wide grin as well.

An hour and a half later, all four women had wide grins on their faces as they switched off the console and relaxed back on the sofa, tired from the laughter they had exchanged from their gaming session. The widest smile of all belonged to Janet- and not just because she had won every single race she'd taken part in.

"Where did you learn to play like that?" Kacey asked as the middle-aged woman packed away the controllers.

"I went to university in 1992," Janet explained. "My parents bought me a Super Nintendo as a gift to take with me, so my whole first year was basically spent playing Mario Kart with my friends. Well, that and, well, other pastimes."

"Both of them were really cool," Monique said with a grin. "The, um, pastimes, I mean."

"...I thought so," Janet said with a smile.

"God, my parents would probably catch fire if they even touched a videogame," Kacey snorted. "You're pretty cool, you know?"

"What, for a middle aged transwoman?" Janet asked.

"Nah, in general, I mean," Kacey said.

"Yeah," Monique concurred. "I mean you're, like, not totally out of touch with the real world?"

"Thanks, I think," Janet chuckled. "...We gonna make this opinion unanimous?"

"...Yeah, alright then," Ellie mumbled, before sharing a giggle with her older friend.

Both Janet and Ellie felt totally at ease for the rest of the day, and the rest of the weekend, too. With the air cleared, they were finally able to speak to each other as friends, and Ellie swore she would not hesitate to come to Janet with any further problems that she might be having with her life, her transition or anything else that might be troubling her.

And yet, Ellie still felt guilty every time she relied on Janet's help, as she wished that there was more she could do for the older transwoman- after all, she was missing her family just as much as Ellie was missing hers...

Janet tried her hardest, but she couldn't prevent herself from breathing a sigh of relief as she pressed her employee pass against the scanner, officially ending another week of monotonous work. As Janet quickly discovered, though, she wasn't the only one feeling relieved.

"At. Last!" Rebecca- one of Janet's colleagues, a woman in her early thirties- giggled as she and a handful of her colleagues walked alongside Janet to the vast supermarket's locker room. "Dunno about you ladies, but I am in a mood to unwind!"

"I'll drink to that!" One of the other women in the group giggled. "Preferably literally, hehe!"

"I would definitely say yes to a few drinks in the Crown before heading home!" Rebecca said, before taking a deep, noticeable breath. "J- Janet, do- do you want to, you know...?"

"Umm... Sure!" Janet said with a smile that she tried to make look as genuine as possible. "Just need to, umm, send a text first..."

"Oh," Rebecca said, not even trying to hide her feeling of awkwardness. "To- to your, umm, 'foster child'?"

"...That's as good a way of describing her as any, I suppose," Janet shrugged. "'Little pain in the arse' is another one, heh." Janet's chuckle quickly faded as she looked around the locker room and noticed that all of the other women were pointedly averting their gaze. You thought I meant that literally, didn't you? Janet thought to herself with a heavy sigh. "Umm..."

"So..." Rebecca said. "You- you coming?" Janet paused to think about her answer to her colleague's question. On the one hand, she did want to get to know her colleagues better- she did have to spend all week working with them, after all- but on the other hand, she knew it be one of the most awkward things she'd ever do...

"...Sure," Janet shrugged, composing a text message to Ellie before tossing her phone back in her handbag, pulling on her coat and forcing a smile onto her made-up face. Janet reasoned that if things got too awkward, she could always make excuses after a couple of drinks and leave, but she wanted to fit in, to integrate with the rest of her colleagues, and maybe even make some new friends.

"Where are we heading again?" Denise- a colleague whom Janet had barely spoken to previously- asked. "The Crown?"

"Yeah," Rebecca replied.

"Don't think I've been there before," Denise mused.

"Me either," Janet interjected.

"Oh- you'll like it," Rebecca said. "It's very 'old fashioned' inside, but friendly enough. It's also very tolerant too, so you won't have any problems, Janet."

"...Glad to hear it," Janet said, wondering whether or not she'd end up having to make excuses BEFORE having a couple of drinks...

----------

"...That was quick," Ellie said, pausing her game of Mario Kart as Janet walked through the front door of their flat. "From your text I thought you'd be out for hours."

"Yep, so did I," Janet sighed, flopping heavily onto her sofa. "Only stayed for one drink, then I made my excuses..."

"Don't need to guess what you were talking about, do I?" Ellie snorted.

"It- it's more what they were deliberately NOT talking about," Janet sighed. "We talked about work, talked about Strictly, the X Factor..."

"Sounds okay so far..." Ellie said. "Getting kinda jealous if anything."

"And then whenever I opened my mouth, I basically killed the conversation," Janet said with a long, drawn-out sigh. "Like everyone felt awkward just listening to my voice. Or even LOOKING at me. And no prizes for guessing why."

"...It's not THAT deep," Ellie mumbled. "It's- it's very, you know, convincing?"

"It's still coming out of this mouth, this face," Janet said. "Which is attached to a body that everyone knows has something else attached."

"Ugh," Ellie spat.

"So then they changed the topic of the conversation, and I was left feeling like a total piece of shit just for voicing my opinion. Thought this was just a one-off, like maybe I'd made one faux pas, but it happened every. Single. Time."

"Janet- why did you even go out with them, then?" Ellie asked. "If they were just going to be awkward with you?"

"That's just it," Janet moaned. "They weren't awkward at work. Well, okay, they were, but not to that extent. It's- it's like they just invited me out to make me feel crappy about myself."

"...Maybe they did?" Ellie asked in an awkward, nervous voice.

"What do you mean?" Janet asked.

"Janet, I- Ellie stammered. "I've had, you know, my fair share of bullying..."

"These are women in their mid-thirties I'm talking about," Janet retorted. "Hardly teenagers."

"That doesn't mean that they can't be bullies," Ellie whispered. "And it doesn't mean that you should feel that you were the one doing something wrong."

"...Which one of us is supposed to be 'the mother' again?" Janet asked, making Ellie snort with laughter. "Nah, they probably just need time to, you know, adjust..."

"You've worked there for over a month and gone into work every day wearing a blouse and a skirt," Ellie retorted. "How much more adjustment do they need? Maybe they don't want to 'adjust'."

"I- I probably just came on too strong," Janet insisted. "If I talk to them one on one, I'm sure we can work through any problems. It's the work's Christmas party next week, that'll be the perfect opportunity to get everything out in the open."

"If you insist," Ellie shrugged, before returning to her game.

The weekend came and went with Janet trying her hardest to relax and put the awkwardness of the pub visit out of her mind, but Ellie's words resonated with her, especially when Ellie's friends made their traditional Saturday morning visit to the tiny flat.

Unlike Rebecca and her colleagues, Kacey and Monique had no problem accepting Ellie as one of their own, and even accepted Janet herself as 'one of them' without a second thought, just as they had done since their first meeting in the supermarket weeks earlier. Janet had heard stories while growing up, and while raising her own children, about how teenagers could be cruel, could find sadistic pleasure in inflicting suffering on people who didn't conform to their standards, but as she observed the three girls, she realised that that simply wasn't true- either that, or as the saying went, there were exceptions to every rule. Janet didn't doubt that there were teenagers at Ellie's college who treated her in the same way Janet herself had been treated- but she hoped for Ellie's sake that they at least kept to themselves. What was most important was that Ellie had genuine friends- which was more than could be said for Janet.

However, as Janet reminded herself, there were always exceptions to every rule. Rebecca and her cronies could easily be the 'exceptions' at her workplace, the immature ones when everyone else were mature, sensible adults who had no qualms about working and interacting with a transgendered person.

As she tried to reconcile those thoughts, though, Janet was reminded of two problems- firstly, that Rebecca's posse were the only ones who worked the same shifts as her, and as a transgendered woman, Janet herself was a very major 'exception'.

Janet tried to keep to herself and focus on her work on the Monday and the Tuesday, but as she was collecting her things and getting ready to leave on the second day, Janet was surprised when she saw Rebecca approach her- and the younger woman clearly had something on her mind.

"Hey..." Rebecca said hesitantly, instantly putting Janet on the defensive. "You- you got a minute?"

"...I guess," Janet shrugged. "What can I do for you?"

"I just- I just wanted to, you know..." Rebecca mumbled. "About- about Friday, me and the girls, we- we were wondering whether or not we might have, you know, crossed a line..."

"Apology accepted," Janet said with a stoic expression, which only relaxed when Rebecca smiled and began to blush.

"That's fair," the younger woman sighed. "It's just- it's just I've never even MET a- a-"

"'Transgendered woman' is the term you're looking for," Janet said.

"-And we kinda don't, you know, know how to act around you," Rebecca said.

"Act how you normally would," Janet shrugged. "Unless you spend all day, every day badmouthing transgendered people, you're probably not going to offend me too badly."

"Oh- believe me, I have NO problem with transgendered people!" Rebecca said in a voice that Janet had a hard time being convinced by. "In fact, I've got a niece who's a big fan of this girl band, you know, the one with the transgendered singer?" Janet smirked to herself as she made a mental note to ask Stephanie for yet another goody bag of merchandise.

"I know the ones," Janet said with a smug grin.

"And I sometimes watch the Angels," Rebecca continued. "You know, when it's on... But, you know, it's different, when, you know..."

"When it's stood in front of you and not on a screen?" Janet asked.

"Uh-huh," Rebecca mumbled.

"If it helps," Janet said, her body language starting to relax, "when you're thinking of 'transgendered women', try focussing on the 'women' part more than the 'transgendered' part. That IS the whole point. I'm not trying to be a drag queen, or a female impersonator or anything like that. I want to be a woman. The more ordinary, the better, in fact."

"I guess," Rebecca shrugged. "But, you know, for the first forty years of your life, wasn't that, like, different?"

"Not when it came to wanting to be a woman," Janet replied as she straightened her work skirt and pulled on her warm winter coat.

"I think I get it," Rebecca mumbled as she adjusted her tights and pulled on her own winter coat, causing Janet to muse on how the younger woman was dressed identically to her in their matching uniforms.

"Happy to help," Janet said.

"...That's Asda, not Tesco," Rebecca said, causing both women to giggle happily. "Will- will you be going to the party tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Janet said, her face now sporting an optimistic smile. "Yeah, I'll be there." Janet and Rebecca shared one final giggle as they headed toward their homes, and when Janet walked through the front door, it was almost as though her enthusiasm had preceded her into the room.

"You're looking happy," Ellie commented, barely looking up from her phone.

"Spoke to my so-called 'bully' after my shift finished," Janet said. "We talked it out, discussed things like adults."

"Okay..." Ellie said.

"It was just a few misconceptions, that's all," Janet shrugged. "I set her straight, we shared a few laughs, everything's fine now."

"Glad to hear it," Ellie said- though her tone of voice made it obvious that she was still feeling very cautious about the situation.

"I'm actually REALLY looking forward to the party now, hehe!" Janet giggled. "God... Don't need to tell you how stressful it can be, when you start transitioning, you have to present yourself to the world, getting judged by everyone..."

"Yeah, I do know that," Ellie replied.

"But after a while, people just get used to it, don't they?" Janet asked. "It's like the old saying: tell someone a lie often enough and they'll believe it's the truth. Only in our case, it's the truth we have to keep telling them before they'll believe it. If that makes any sense, anyway."

"A little," Ellie said with a smile. "And it IS good to see you being happy."

"It has been a while," Janet sighed. "It's the whole debate about, you know, it not being enough to merely survive, but you've got to live, haven't you?"

"Not really following you," Ellie replied.

"Well, I mean, I can EXIST as a woman," Janet replied. "But just staying in this flat all day wearing a skirt... It isn't 'living', is it? Holing myself away from the world... Sure, I could say 'I am a woman', but where's the point if I don't have anyone to say it to?"

"...Okay, think I'm following you now," Ellie said. "You want a friend, basically?"

"Not that I don't count you as a friend," Janet retorted. "Or Kacey and Monique for that matter. But I would kinda like some friends my own age, if that makes any sense."

"Yeah, yeah it kinda does," Ellie replied with a sympathetic smile. "Dunno whether it's comforting to learn that adults have the same hang-ups as teenagers or whether I should be scared that I'm gonna be a screw-up my whole life, heh."

"You're not a screw-up," Janet reassured the young woman. "You've been dealt a bad hand and you're making the most of it, that's all."

"So are you," Ellie reminded the older woman, who replied with a smile. "More important than that, though?"

"...Yes?" Janet asked.

"What are you going to wear to the party tomorrow?" Ellie asked, bringing a smile to Janet's face that stayed that for the rest of the day.

Janet's smile was still present the following day, even when she returned home from work to find Ellie, Kacey and Monique waiting for her with grins on their faces and hair straighteners, make-up brushes and bottles of nail polish in their hands.

"...Umm, come on in, I guess," Janet chuckled as she slipped off her low-heeled court shoes and prepared to sit down on the sofa, only to be stopped by the three young women. "Okay, what's happening?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Monique replied with a giggle.

"Should it be?" Janet retorted.

"YES," Ellie said firmly. "You've got a party tonight-"

"-And we're gonna help you get ready for it!" Kacey giggled as Janet was frog marched into the bathroom and a cape was wrapped around her neck.

Janet's protests, which were feeble to begin with, ended moments later as the three teenagers set about transforming her from a plain-looking forty-something into a truly glamorous woman.

When Janet strode into the party a short while later, there were two emotions tugging at her- a feeling of nerves, but a much greater feeling of confidence. The girls had done an amazing job, and it showed in the smile on the middle-aged woman's face- a face that had been enhanced to its fullest with seemingly every make-up product that Janet owned. Subtle eyeshadow, thick mascara, a matte foundation and scarlet lipstick was a far cry from what she usually wore, but Ellie had blended them to create a look that was subtle, yet sexy, and definitely feminine. Her fingernails had been coated with a deep red colour that made Janet feel awkward at first, as she rarely wore polish on her fingernails, but even she had to admit that the colour looked good on her. Janet's hair had been given a playful wave that took almost ten years off of her, but that was only where her look started.

Once her make-up was complete, Janet changed into her tightest, most figure-shaping corselette that had pulled and pushed her in ways she didn't know was possible. A pair of barely-black tights with a firm control top followed, before Janet was all but poured into her dress for the night. It was black, long-sleeved, had a low-cut front and a knee-length skirt with a lace hem that was modest, but at the same time fun and flirty- especially when paired with the three inch stiletto heels on her feet.

Janet felt more beautiful than she had ever done in her entire life, and had never felt more comfortable and confident in her ability to pass as a woman, and yet she still felt nervous. Whilst it was far from the first time she'd worn a dress in public- and wasn't even the first time she'd worn that particular dress in public- it was the first time that 'Janet' had shown up in such a large crowd, especially as she knew that every eye that was on her that night would be judging her and trying to make their own decisions about her...

"Janet!" Kelly- Janet's manager- said, greeting the middle-aged woman with a hug and air kisses. "So glad you could make it!"

"Thanks!" Janet giggled nervously. "Wasn't sure I'd come for a while, heh."

"Oh no, really?" Kelly asked. "Why not, is everything okay at home?"

"Yeah, kinda..." Janet grimaced. "It- it's nothing. I'm here now, and I'm here to have FUN!"

"Yeah!" Kelly giggled. "Come on, I'll get you a drink, introduce you to a few of the other girls."

"Sure," Janet said. "Is- is Rebecca here? From our shift?"

"Hmm?" Kelly asked. "Oh, Becky Earl? Think she's around here somewhere, yeah." Janet smiled and nodded, but paused before deciding whether to follow Kelly to potentially meet new friends, or go in search of Rebecca. Janet was convinced that Rebecca's apology the previous day had been genuine, but there was still a nagging doubt at the back of her mind, and she knew that if she didn't address it quickly, it would bug her throughout the whole night.

However, Janet's main reason for attending the party was to have fun and make new friends, and she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity that Kelly had presented her, especially as she trusted Kelly enough to know that the people she would introduce to Janet weren't likely to be as intolerant as Becky had been.

"Girls, I'd like you to meet Janet," Kelly said as she led Janet to the table where two younger women were sat. "Janet, this is Shannon, and this is Meredith."

"Hi," Shannon- the younger of the two women- said with a cautious smile.

"Nice to meet you!" Meredith said, smiling warmly as Janet elegantly sat down next to her. "I was hoping we'd get to meet, actually."

"Umm, thanks," Janet replied. "I, umm, I think, anyway!"

"Oh- no, I didn't mean that in a bad way," Meredith clarified. "I mean, yes, I'd heard that a transgendered woman had started working for the store, but I didn't mean I wanted to, you know, go and 'look at the freak'- not that I think you're a freak-"

"Mer," Shannon interrupted, making the older woman giggle.

"Oh- sorry, sorry," Meredith said, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I kinda talk too much when I'm nervous, heh!"

"You don't say," Janet said, making all the women at the table giggle- something that came as a relief to the transwoman.

"I mean, I have, like, loads of questions," Meredith said. "Like, I follow Jamie-Lee Burke's blog, and Kelly Watson's and Stephanie Abbott's Instagram pages, but you're- you're, like..."

"The first 'real' transgendered person you ever met?" Janet asked.

"I didn't want to put it QUITE like that," Meredith mumbled.

"It's okay," Janet shrugged. "I'm the first 'real' transgendered person I met too, technically."

"Oh- cool, heh!" Meredith giggled.

"How long have you been- umm, working...?" Shannon asked, grimacing more with each word that passed her lips.

"Just a few weeks," Janet replied, trying not to frown as an awkward silence fell over the table.

"I'll- I'll get us some drinks," Kelly announced. "You three can, umm, get acquainted..." Janet's smile faltered as the silence became increasingly awkward with the departure of the manager.

"...If you wanted to ask 'how long have I been transitioning'," Janet said quietly, but confidently, "the answer is 'almost eleven months'."

"Oh- okay," Shannon mumbled.

"And no, I don't mind answering questions, as long as they aren't TOO personal," Janet said.

"'Personal'," Meredith said, "like asking, like, if you've..." Janet tried again to maintain her smile as Meredith mimed a pair of scissors with her fingers.

"...I'm still a long way off that," Janet said. "I haven't even started hormone replacement therapy yet."

"My aunt was on that once," Meredith said. "Though she, umm, she was, you know, born a woman..."

"You're meant to have experience of living as the opposite gender before they start you on that," Janet explained. "Ideally on a full-time basis. Normally the process is fairly simple once you've demonstrated that you're fully committed to it, but if you've had, umm, 'problems'..."

"I have- I have kinda heard rumours," Shannon mumbled.

"About me being in a nuthouse?" Janet sighed. "Yeah... Though in the end, I did get the help I needed. And, yes, made a new friend, heh."

"Yeah, THAT must have been cool!" Meredith giggled. "Oh- not the, umm, where you met where you did, but I mean, like-"

"I get it, honestly," Janet said. "Really, you don't need to feel like you need to walk on eggshells around me. I think of myself as just an ordinary woman. I'd like to be seen that way too."

"That can probably be arranged," Shannon said with a warm smile, eliciting a genuine, relaxed giggle from Janet.

The middle-aged transwoman found herself relaxing more with every minute that passed of the party, helped not just by the alcohol she consumed but also by Meredith's continued excitement and Shannon's attitude relaxing with every word that she and Janet exchanged. By the time Janet got up to get her friends a round of drinks, she had almost forgotten about the last time she'd socialised with colleagues, about Rebecca and her friends.

As Janet approached the bar, however, her ears picked up the familiar sound of Rebecca's Essex accent, and despite her better instincts, she found herself eavesdropping on the conversation- especially when she heard her name mentioned.

"...Janet," Rebecca said, clearly unaware or uncaring that the transwoman herself was listening. "I mean- it is just SAD. IT thinks that it can just swan around in a dress, and when someone points out the reality to her, it's somehow 'discrimination'? Give me a break."

"'Reality'?" One of Rebecca's friends asked.

"'Reality'," Rebecca explained. "It. Is. A. Man. End of. It'll always be a man. Even if it has the operation, it'll just be a man who cut his dick off."

"It is stupid that we have to treat it like any other woman," another of Rebecca's friends scoffed as Janet felt tears welling in her eyes. "I mean- it doesn't even look remotely like a woman!"

"If I was shopping at a supermarket and saw it behind the till, I'd just abandon my trolley and go to a different shop," yet another of Rebecca's friends said.

"Still, I've 'apologised' now," Rebecca said. "Hopefully that means I won't have to deal with its stubbly face again!" Janet bit her lip to keep herself from crying as she stroked her smooth, hairless cheek, before heading toward the bar, where she was mercifully unable to hear the continuing conversation at Rebecca's table- though she had no doubt that she was the cause of the cackle of laughter that rose from the women.

"If you don't want to see my face again, you bitch, that can be arranged," Janet whispered, before sighing and shaking his head. "No- no." Janet was determined never again to think the thoughts that had ended up with her taking a prolonged stay in a psychiatric hospital. And she was especially determined not to waste any stress or any tears on a disgrace to humanity like Rebecca. And yet, as feminine as she'd felt when she walked into the party, Janet had suddenly felt very self-conscious. She knew that everyone there knew who she was. She knew they knew WHAT she was, and she knew that every single one of them were judging her. Sure, some of them were doing it in a relatively friendly way, like Meredith or Shannon, but in all likelihood, the vast majority of the people at the party were just like Rebecca and her friends.

Janet didn't even try to hide her frown as she returned to her table with her and her new friends' drinks, instantly lowering the mood of the three women.

"Janet?" Kelly asked, a look of concern plastered over her face. "Is- is everything okay?"

"Umm... Yeah," Janet lied. "I just- I just think I have a bit of a headache, that's all. Might call it a night in a bit."

"You've barely been here half an hour," Shannon retorted.

"And didn't you want to speak to Becky Earl?" Kelly asked.

"No," Janet replied in a hasty voice that made her grimace. "No, I, um, it'll be fine. I'll just have this drink and head off, if you don't mind."

"It's a free country," Kelly shrugged. "But if something's happened, if someone's said something-"

"I'm fine, honestly," Janet said. "Just- just feeling my, um, age, that's all."

"If you're sure..." Meredith asked, her sudden concern a sharp contrast to her prior demeanour.

"I am," Janet said quietly. "I had fun, honestly! It was a pleasure to meet the two of you. Hope we get to see each other again soon!"

"I hope so too," Meredith said softly. "Do you- do you want me to get you a taxi? I've got an app on my phone, and I keep forgetting I've got it, so I-"

"Please," Janet said quietly, smiling at her new friends as secretly, her insides continued to churn.

A short while later, Janet walked through the front door of her flat and grimaced as she heard a loud sigh rise from her teenaged flat mate.

"Seriously?" Ellie moaned. "Again!?"

"I'm 42," Janet protested. "I'm going to be out ALL night."

"How long were you there, five seconds?" Ellie asked.

"I- I'd rather not talk about it," Janet mumbled. "I've got an early morning tomorrow, so have you..."

"After all the effort of this evening?" Ellie asked.

"Well I'm sorry your evening was wasted," Janet spat.

"I meant your effort," Ellie said. "I could give people makeovers all day, I love doing it, but I meant, like, you really worked yourself up to going to the party and, like, it was all for, umm, nothing..."

"I- I'm sorry," Janet whispered.

"S'okay," Ellie shrugged.

"I- I'm going to get some sleep now," Janet whispered. "Thanks for helping this evening."

"S'okay," Ellie repeated. "And- and Janet? Please talk to someone tomorrow." Janet blinked back tears as she nodded, before shutting her bedroom door behind her and quietly weeping.

Janet eventually made it to bed and woke up at her usual time the following morning, but the sight of her deep red fingernails brought back memories of the previous night's events- and the words that was said by the woman she'd thought could've been her friend. Janet debated with herself over whether or not to scrub the polish away and go into work 'au naturale'- not even wearing any make-up at all- and for a brief moment, Janet even wondered whether or not to go into work at all or whether to call in sick. She certainly didn't feel up to dealing with members of the public- especially ones who would sneer at her- and she felt even less like dealing with her colleagues.

However, Janet 's sense of obligation took over and snapped her out of her funk. She’d been hired to do a job, and she wasn't going to skip out on it because she was feeling miserable. Her sense of pride took hold, too- if she were to skip make-up, it would be conceding defeat to Rebecca and her cronies. And Janet liked wearing make-up. She liked the nail polish she had on her hands as well. She liked the foundation garments she wore to work, she liked her blouses, her skirts and her shoes, and she was damned if she was going to let anyone tell her what she could or couldn't wear to work.

Moreover, as a 'parent', she had to set an example for her 'daughter' to follow- even if said 'daughter' was more concerned for Janet's well-being than Janet herself was.

The 42 year old transwoman strode into work on her heeled shoes with a determined look in her made-up eyes and a sense of purpose buoying her up. She was a woman, and she wasn't going to let anyone else tell her otherwise. Before she could reach her usual checkout, she was intercepted by her manager, who had a look of concern etched onto her face.

"Hey Janet," Kelly said softly. "Are- are you feeling better? After last night, I mean."

"I'm fine," Janet semi-lied. "Just had a headache, that's all."

"Well- okay," Kelly mumbled. "If you want to lie to me, that's okay, but I'm not sure you should be lying to yourself."

"I'm not lying," Janet said. "Okay... Okay, maybe I am. A little. But I'm- I'm fine, I honestly am..."

"Janet," Kelly sighed. "Tell me what happened. What REALLY happened."

"I don't want to get anyone into trouble," Janet mumbled.

"If these people did nothing wrong, then they won't be in trouble," Kelly retorted. "If you think they'll be in trouble, then obviously they DID do something wrong, and that behaviour needs correcting. The same goes for you, Janet. Not that I'm saying that you did anything wrong- we've only known each other a few weeks, but I think I'm a good enough judge of character to know an honest woman when I see her."

"...Thanks," Janet said.

"I also know a woman when I see her," Kelly said. "And I'm guessing that other people's failure to do so is part of the problem, right?"

"...Right," Janet sighed.

"Becky Earl, right?" Kelly asked, sighing as Janet nodded, barely keeping tears from flowing freely from her eyes. "I am not prepared to tolerate this. Not from one of my employees."

"It wasn't even on work time," Janet pleaded.

"Doesn't matter," Kelly said. "She's shown that she's incapable of working alongside you, if what she says is moving you to tears."

"Maybe I just need to grow up," Janet mumbled.

"No, just- just no!" Kelly snapped, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I apologise for raising my voice, Janet, but I- I get so frustrated at times."

"Sorry," Janet mumbled.

"Don't apologise," Kelly said. "Just don't. Don't apologise to me for being yourself. Don't apologise to anyone, least of all Becky Earl! SHE should be the one in here apologising! You don't act like that. Not on my watch."

"You don't even know what she said," Janet said.

"I know what effect it had on you," Kelly said softly. "If she said 'I'm not sure I like that Janet person' you wouldn't be in the state you're in now."

"...She called me 'it'," Janet mumbled.

"I don't need to know any more than that," Kelly said. "That alone is crossing a line. Janet- take the day off. I'll deal with Becky."

"Oh- no, I don't want to be a burden," Janet said.

"Honestly, it's fine," Kelly replied.

"Where- where I worked before, I kinda had an unblemished sick record..." Janet said, making Kelly giggle and roll her eyes.

"Take the afternoon off, then," Kelly said. "I'll call it 'manager's discretionary leave' or something. And I'm not willing to negotiate further."

"Deal," Janet said, smiling as she shook her manager's hand before heading down to her usual register.

Janet tried to focus on her work to distract her from the stress of the previous night's activities, but she needed to compose herself when three very familiar figures stopped by her checkout- all of whom had looks of concern etched onto their faces.

"Hey," Monique said softly as she paid for her purchases. "Ellie- Ellie kinda told us that you were kind, you know, upset last night... Are- are you, you know, okay?"

"I'll be fine," Janet reassured the dark-skinned girl. "Honestly, you girls don't need to worry about me."

"Why not?" Kacey asked. "You're our friend, if there's something we can do-"

"If there was, I would ask," Janet said, blinking back tears and suddenly finding that she was thankful for Kelly's offer of a half day. "Really, I'll be fine. Oh, but I'll be home earlier than usual today. Scored myself the afternoon off, heh."

"Good," Ellie said, smiling sympathetically at the older woman. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Pretty sure as legal guardian, I should be saying that to you!" Janet retorted, making Ellie giggle and roll her eyes. "You three have fun at college, okay?"

"Will do!" Monique said with a grin as she walked away.

"...She really is hurting, isn't she?" Kacey asked her blonde friend as she left the supermarket.

"Yeah, I think so," Ellie replied. "It's so frustrating, you know? Janet's done so much for me, I wish there was more I could do for her..."

"Well- it's not like there's a lot you CAN do," Monique said with a heavy sigh. "You've got no job, no income and you're, like, actually dependent on the person you want to help."

"...Thanks, that helps," Ellie snorted.

"Well I don't know!" Monique protested. "Make her a nice meal or something. Clean the flat, maybe."

"I do both those things anyway," Ellie replied.

"Ah!" Kacey- who had been engrossed in her phone- suddenly exclaimed. "I've got it!"

"Got what?" Ellie asked, before squinting as Kacey handed her her phone. "What's this, Janet's Facebook page?"

"Look at the top," Kacey said, pointing to a piece of information on the page- information that made the blonde girl grin widely.

----------

"Thanks for seeing me at such short notice," Janet said as she slipped off her coat and elegantly lowered herself onto her counsellor's soft, comfortable chair.

"That's perfectly fine, Janet," Dr Healy replied. "It's been too long since we talked face to face anyway."

"And after the last few days, I could definitely use a little 'face time'," Janet sighed.

"That doesn't sound good," Dr Healy said with a quiet, sympathetic voice. "Take your time if you need."

"...It's work," Janet said, letting out a long, heavy sigh. "Not customers this time- things seem to have almost settled down there, it- it's my colleagues."

"Go on," Dr Healy said.

"I went out for drinks with a few of them on Friday," Janet explained. "Well, I say 'drinks', it took all of one drink for things to get awkward, and it was obvious that I was the reason why, and they wanted me to know that I was the reason why."

"When you say it was obvious that they wanted you to know that, what do you mean exactly?" Dr Healy asked.

"The way they acted around me," Janet said. "Like they were constantly treading on eggshells. Yes, I've got that before, and if that was it, I could brush it off, but then last night, we had the work Christmas party."

"And did you speak to your colleagues again?" Dr Healy asked.

"More like they spoke about me," Janet sighed. "Behind my back. Using the pronoun 'it'."

"You don't need to say any more if you don't want to," Dr Healy said softly. "Their attitude is plain from that alone."

"It's obvious they just see me as something for them to make fun of," Janet spat. "Some THING."

"Did you tell your manager about this?" Dr Healy asked.

"...I didn't want to," Janet mumbled. "But- but my manager sussed it out anyway, and- and-" Janet's words degenerated into an incoherent blur as tears began to flow freely from her eyes.

"Take your time," Dr Healy said softly, offering the distressed woman a box of tissues, which were quickly used.

"Every time I think I've taken a step forward," Janet sighed. "I was so excited about the party as well. It was my first proper 'event' as a woman. I was dolled up to the nines- Ellie helped me with my hair, my make-up, I was wearing my best dress, my best shoes, and I felt- I felt like I belonged, like I truly belonged for the first time ever. I even made two ACTUAL friends as the party, too- three if you count my manager."

"That's definitely a positive you shouldn't ignore," Dr Healy said. "Tell me about these friends."

"Well, the first is Meredith, I guess," Janet said. "She talks at about a hundred words per second, but she's friendly enough. Actually seems interested in what I have to say, genuinely seems like she wants to be my friend. The other one's Shannon, she's younger, mid-twenties maybe, seems to be quite shy, almost apprehensive around me at first, but as we talked, she seemed to ease up a little."

"As did you, by the sounds of things," Dr Healy said.

"Yeah, right up until I found out I was everyone's favourite verbal punching bag," Janet spat.

"But up until then, I could tell that you were enjoying yourself," Dr Healy said. "The enthusiasm with which you talked about your new friends is proof of that."

"It's just a miracle that anyone actually, genuinely wants to be friends with me," Janet sighed.

"Maybe not as miraculous as you might think," Dr Healy said in a soft voice that made Janet smile. "If you don't mind, I want to go back to your manager's reaction to what was said."

"She wasn't happy," Janet said. "Ballistic, even. But I- I didn't want to cause any trouble."

"Why not?" Dr Healy asked. "It seems that they're willing to cause trouble for you."

"I don't want to make things any worse for me there," Janet said.

"Unlikely to happen with your manager on your side," Dr Healy advised. "Janet, you ARE allowed to think about yourself, about your own well-being. You are allowed to make it a priority, even with your newfound responsibility for Ellie."

"I know, but- ugh, I don't know," Janet sighed. "I just wish this could be easier."

"I wish I could tell you that eventually, it'll be a walk in the park," Dr Healy said. "But it is a long road. Sometimes it'll be uphill, like the party, sometimes things will be easier. There are ways to make things easier for yourself- spending more time with Meredith and Shannon, especially outside of work. I AM pleased that you're building up more of a social life."

"'John' was out most Friday nights," Janet explained. "With work friends, talking about football, our- our families..." Janet trailed off as another tear flowed from her eye at the thought of the family she hadn't seen in months.

"Hopefully, I can make things a little easier for you," Dr Healy said, withdrawing a slip of paper from her desk. "I've been reviewing your case a lot, and your reaction to the events of the last few days has convinced me that it's about time I gave you this."

"What- what is it?" Janet asked.

"A prescription for anti-androgens and oestrogen," Dr Healy explained as Janet's eyes widened. "You've shown a true commitment to your female life. You were upset by the events of the party, certainly- you have every right to be- but you didn't give in to any dark thoughts and worked through them maturely. I really do think you're ready for this, Janet. We're going to try you for six weeks at first, and then, if things work out well, we'll make it a permanent thing."

"Oh my god," Janet whispered. "Thank you, thank you so much!"

"You're very welcome!" Dr Healy giggled. "Now, I want to hear a little more about these new friends of yours." With a renewed sense of optimism, Janet obliged, regaling the counsellor with stories of her encounter with Shannon and Meredith- stories that lasted longer than the encounter itself.

Janet left the meeting with a smile on her face, helped in no small part by the prescription in her handbag. As she arrived home, however, Ellie's presence caused her smile to waver. Janet knew how important hormones were to Ellie- just as important as they were to Janet herself- and the last thing she wanted was to make it seem like she was rubbing Ellie's nose in her success.

"Hey," the teenaged girl said as Janet dropped her handbag on the sideboard and headed into the kitchen to make a drink. "How did it go with your counsellor?"

"Not bad," Janet replied, biting her lip. Ellie would undoubtedly want to know details, and she'd definitely want to know about the hormones as well- and Janet knew that if she kept it from Ellie, the teenaged girl would inevitably find out anyway and just get upset about being lied to. Then again, if Ellie knew that there was oestrogen in the household, there was always the risk she would try to sneak some away for herself...

"Wow, as good as that, eh?" Ellie asked, frowning as Janet let out a long sigh. "Janet? What- what's up?"

"I need to tell you something," Janet said in a quiet voice.

"What's wrong?" Ellie asked, feeling herself begin to panic as Janet's unusual behaviour.

"I- at the counsellor's," Janet began, taking a deep breath and deciding that it was better to get straight to the point rather than to beat about the bush any longer. "...I was prescribed oestrogen. I'm going to be beginning HRT within a few days."

"You- but- that's great!" Ellie said, a wide, genuine grin spreading across her face.

"You're really okay with this?" Janet asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Ellie shrugged. "If you're worried that I'm jealous, I'm not. I mean, I'll get my HRT soon enough, won't I?"

"Damn right you will!" Janet giggled, before leaning down and giving Ellie a gentle hug.

"We should have a party to celebrate," Ellie said with a knowing smile.

"No, I- I'm not really a party person," Janet sighed. "Especially after last night."

"There aren't ANY circumstances you'd consider having a party to celebrate?" Ellie asked.

"...What are you getting at?" Janet asked cautiously.

"Oh- nothing, nothing," Ellie said, her body language giving away her obvious lie. "What's for dinner? Can we at least get takeout to celebrate?"

"Now THAT we can do!" Janet chuckled, grabbing her aging smartphone and opening up an app.

That night, the two women ate with gusto and slept heavily, both wanting to attack the final day of the week head-on so that they could enjoy their weekend.

As Janet headed into work on Friday, though, she was again intercepted by a familiar face- but unlike the previous day, the chance encounter put a wide smile on Janet's face.

"...Meredith?" The 42 year old transwoman asked. "What- what are you doing here? I thought you worked evenings?"

"Yeah, I kinda thought so too!" Meredith said. "I've wanted to work mornings for a while now, you know, so that you can work and THEN go home rather than the other way around... Kelly called me yesterday, said that I could swap shifts I want so, well, here I am!" Janet giggled at her friend's explanation of events, before her jaw dropped as she saw another familiar face enter the room.

"Umm, hi," Shannon said with a shy, awkward wave as she removed her coat and pinned her name badge to her blouse.

"And, you know, so has Shannon!" Meredith said with an awkward giggle.

"...I have a feeling I really owe Kelly one," Janet said, before engaging in a group hug with her two newest friends. "And I have a feeling I might know who you've swapped shifts with, heh. Probably best if I DON'T shop here in the evenings anymore!"

"That probably goes for all of us," Meredith said with a grin. "Though I get that, like, we don't have, you know, 'parental responsibilities', but Becky does, so that might be kinda awkward..."

"Do- do you think she knows she's being, umm, punished?" Shannon asked.

"I hope so," Janet said in a dark voice. "I hope she learns from this as well."

"Doubt it," Shannon mumbled.

"She is a bit, well..." Meredith said, her voice trailing off as she bit her lip, clearly not wanting to fall into the same behaviour that earned Becky her 'punishment'. "But the important thing is, the three of us are now all working together! Like, the three musketeers, if we were, you know, French and, umm, male..." Janet bit her lip as she saw Meredith start to blush over her faux pas- but even though she'd known the woman for less than 36 hours, she felt that she knew her well enough to know that she meant no offence.

"The three Tescoteers?" Janet suggested, earning an excited giggle from Meredith and an uncharacteristic grin from Shannon.

"The three Tescoteers!" Shannon said with a quiet cheer, before following her friends down to their registers.

Janet went through the morning with a smile on her face, which only widened when Ellie and her 'musketeers' made their traditional purchase. However, Janet's smile faded slightly when she returned to the locker room at the end of her shift and noticed the awkward looks on her friends' faces.

"...What's up?" Janet asked. "I thought day one of the 'Tescoteers' went well..."

"Oh- it did..." Shannon mumbled.

"You- you seemed kinda, you know, friendly with those girls who went through your register," Meredith said. "The ones who were obviously on their way to college, I mean, yes, you get regulars in this place, I've had a few myself who I always liked to chat to for a while- shocking as they may seem, I know! But, like, you seemed to, you know, be 'familiar' with them?"

"We've- we've kinda heard, you know..." Shannon said in a quiet, nervous voice.

"Heard that I'm living with a 16 year old transgendered girl?" Janet asked, frowning as her friends both nodded. "...It's true. She was kicked out by her parents, we both have a mutual friend, she asked me to help out... It's a fairly long story but that's basically the gist of it. And yes, I know that most people looking in from the outside would see the potential for foul play. Most uneducated people, anyway." Janet frowned as she silently cursed herself for insulting her two new friends, regardless of the implication that they'd made toward her.

"Oh, we- we didn't want to imply anything," Meredith said. "I mean, it's actually kinda sweet when you think about it, taking in a homeless kid and being like a pseudo-mum to them. It's kinda, you know, like..."

"Harry Potter?" Shannon asked.

"...Hetty Wainthropp Investigates," Meredith said, before her cheeks began to flush.

"I've been called much worse," Janet said with a giggle. "And Ellie's sixteen, almost seventeen, she can take care of herself."

"I'm curious to know who this 'mutual friend' is," Meredith said. "Though, you know, you don't HAVE to tell me if you don't want to, I mean, you know, it's your life, and privacy, and-"

"It's Stephanie Abbott," Janet said with a smug smile as her new friends stopped dead in their tracks.

"Oh. My. God!" Shannon squeaked, her eyes as wide as dinner plates. "THE Stephanie Abbott?"

"Seriously?" Janet asked. "All the rumours you've heard about me, and that one isn't one of them?"

"Well, you know, we're- sorry, we WERE on different shifts," Meredith explained. "And we don't really hear THAT much, and- THE Stephanie Abbott?"

"She- she was meant to have been in a psych hospital a while back," Shannon said, her excitement not dissipating. "Is- is that-"

"NOW it's getting into 'long story' territory," Janet said. "...I could always, you know, tell you over a few drinks if you'd like?"

"Uh- yeah!" Shannon said with an excited giggle.

"I'll get my coat!" Meredith said, making Janet giggle excitedly as she headed to the nearest pub with her new friends. Unlike the previous two times she'd been out with her friends, Janet felt nothing but optimism about her future friendship with the two women. They'd been honest and open with Janet, and she had returned the favour, resulting in a connection that Janet had never experienced before as a woman, and rarely even experienced as a man. When the three women left the pub, they agreed that the trip would become a regular Friday night occurrence- but much to Janet's surprise, the next time she'd meet with them would be much sooner than that.

Two days after her first shift with Meredith and Shannon, on a cold Sunday morning, Janet woke up as usual and got up, ready to prepare breakfast, when she noticed that something was different about the living room. She'd decorated it for Christmas- which was only two weeks hence- but on that morning, the decorations seemed to have doubled, and much to Janet's dismay, there were several gift-wrapped boxes waiting for her on her sofa.

"...Happy birthday, Janet!" Ellie cheered as she emerged from the kitchen holding an elaborate cupcake, into which two candles had been pushed- one in the shape of a '4' and the other in the shape of a '3'. Janet sighed, before giggling and blowing out the candles, which earned her a gentle hug from the teenaged girl.

"Thanks," Janet said with a chuckle. "How did you find out?"

"How does anyone find out anything?" Ellie shrugged. "Facebook. And don't argue that it's too much of an expense. After what you've done for me, it's worth it. Not get opening! The others will be here in a bit."

"What- others?" Janet asked as Ellie's grin grew wider.

A short while later, Janet was back in the fancy dress she'd worn to the Christmas party, and had had her hair and make-up once again expertly applied by the girls. The only difference was that this time, Janet herself was the centre of attention, there were only five others in the flat, and they were all genuinely fond of her.

Janet giggled as Meredith and Shannon got to know Ellie, Kacey and Monique, and sighed happily at the presents she'd received from her friends- make-up, vouchers for a spa day, everything 'John' had never got but always wanted. And yet, as happy as Janet felt, there was a large part of her that was empty on the inside- it was the first birthday she'd spent away from her family, away from her children, and Janet would've happily traded every present she'd received just to spend time with them again- all apart from the hormone pills that she'd swallowed earlier that day...

"See you tonight!" Janet said with a smile as Ellie, Kacey and Monique paid for their purchases and waved goodbye to her.

"Bye!" Ellie replied with a giggle that warmed Janet's heart.

It had been almost four months since Ellie had moved in with Janet, and in that time, a lot had changed for both women- mostly for the better.

Janet's body had reacted well to the hormone treatments she'd been prescribed in early December, and her trial had quickly become a permanent prescription. Janet knew that she would need to take the medication for the rest of her life, but it was a small price to pay to be able to life the life she truly wanted to live.

Shortly after she started taking her oestrogen pills, Janet and Ellie had celebrated Christmas together, and while they enjoyed their first holiday in their new genders, it was a bittersweet experience for both women, as it was the first Christmas they had spent apart from their families. Janet had ensured that Ellie had plenty to unwrap on Christmas morning, of course, and Ellie had been more than generous in her gifts for Janet, but no present could make up for what both women had lost. Both women put on a brave face for the other, and genuinely enjoyed the 'new traditions' of the festive period (including Ellie working herself into a near-frenzy as she tried to prepare the Christmas pudding), but deep down inside, they knew that they were both hurting.

After Christmas had passed, however, Janet often found herself looking in her wardrobe at the two gifts she'd wrapped and put in there before Christmas- one labelled 'to Ethan' and the other labelled 'to Lindsay'. Janet never failed to shed tears whenever she looked at the presents, or at the gifts she'd bought her son for his eighteenth birthday and the ones she'd bought her daughter for her sixteenth birthday. Every day that she was apart from her children hurt Janet more and more, but she was determined not to let it destroy her life, and especially determined not to let it get in the way of her responsibilities toward Ellie.

Ellie had put on a brave face over Christmas, but Janet knew that she was missing her family just as much as Janet was. She suspected that Ellie had also bought gifts for her family, especially her younger brother, who Ellie very obviously missed a great deal. Sure, Ellie had her friends, and Kacey and Monique seemed to spend every spare second they had keeping Ellie company and cheering her up, but neither they nor Janet were the family that had spent sixteen years raising Ellie. Then again, that same 'family' had thought nothing of abandoning Ellie when she needed them the most. Janet often found herself wondering just how much more of a mother she'd been to Ellie than the girl's own mother had been over the previous sixteen years.

As she shut down her register at the end of her shift, Janet mused that her motherly duties would soon be put to the test. Before she headed home, Janet planned to do some shopping of her own, for gifts, party supplies and a birthday card- specifically, a 17th birthday card for Ellie. Her birthday was on the 24th of February, leaving Janet just three days to ensure that she had everything she needed to celebrate the birthday- even though she'd already bought plenty of supplies.

"Don't need to ask what you're doing tonight, do I?" Meredith giggled as she and Janet pulled on their fashionable winter coats. "Umm, by which I don't mean to pry, it's just that you've been busy planning this party for weeks, and I assumed you were still planning it... Right?"

"Damn right," Janet said with a grin. "It'll be Ellie's first birthday as Ellie, and I'm going to make sure it's her best yet!"

"Well, your first birthday as Janet was pretty good!" Meredith giggled. "I mean, I know I had fun, and you seemed like you were having a lot of fun, right?"

"I did, yeah," Janet replied. "Does mean that we'll have to skip Friday night drinks, though."

"Again," Meredith said in a teasing voice toward the third member of their group. "Well, drinks where it's just the three of us, anyway!" Janet smile as Shannon started to blush at the memory of the party they'd attended the previous Friday, though her embarrassment quickly turned to joy as she stared at the sparkling diamond ring that had been slipped onto her finger on Valentine's Day- even if it did remind Janet of the plain gold band she continued to wear on her ring finger. However, Janet soon found herself smiling as she remembered the party, which was attended by virtually all of Shannon's female friends and relatives- none of whom scorned or judged Janet, instead simply accepting her as the woman she was.

"Thinking of a date yet?" Janet asked the newly-engaged woman.

"...Probably summer next year," Shannon mumbled in reply.

"Decided on bridesmaids yet?" Meredith asked in an overly-excited tone of voice.

"I... Umm, not quite," Shannon replied, trying her best to avoid making eye contact with the two women. "I've got, you know, a sister, and school friends..."

"It's okay," Janet said. "I'd probably look silly in a bridesmaid's dress anyway."

"You absolutely would not!" Meredith said in a firm tone of voice. "Would she, Shannon?"

"Of course not!" Shannon giggled, making Janet blush. "Oh, umm, sorry..."

"No, it's okay," Janet said with a grin. "Kinda needed the pick-me-up, heh. But, you know, duty calls... See you two tomorrow!"

"Bye Janet!" Meredith and Shannon said simultaneously as the 43 year old woman made her way out of the still-busy supermarket with a determined look on her face.

----------

"Three days to go!" Monique teased Ellie, who blushed as she was reminded of her upcoming celebration. "Reckon Steph'll drop round on Friday night to say hi?"

"Doubt it," Ellie sighed. "Don't think she even knows when my birthday is..."

"Umm, it's on your Facebook, innit?" Monique asked. "It's how you found out Janet's birthday, right?"

"Yeah, and Steph didn't drop round for that either," Ellie reminded her friend.

"Yeah, but- and no offence to her, but- Janet's, like, old," Kacey said.

"Well- as long as you two are there, right?" Ellie asked. "That'll be enough for me."

"D'aww!" Monique cooed. "Well I'll bring my selfie stick just in case, hehe!"

"Just as long as you are coming for me and not her," Ellie grumbled.

"Hey, there's no need to be, you know, paranoid or something," Kacey retorted. "You'd think you'd be happy on your birthday, right?"

"Normally, yeah," Ellie sighed. "But- ugh. It- it'll be my first birthday without my family there, and that kinda sucks..."

"'Kinda' sucks?" Kacey asked. "If it was me it'd totally suck. And, like, it's still the anniversary of the day your mum gave birth to you, isn't it? They should still celebrate it, you know?"

"There's even less chance of my family being there than there is Steph being there," Ellie sighed as the trio headed away from their college after another day of learning.

----------

"Hi Ellie," Janet said as the teenager walked through the front door of the flat. "Good day at college?"

"Meh, same as always," Ellie replied. "Good day at work?"

"Same as always," Janet replied with a chuckle. "Are Monique and Kacey well?"

"Yep," Ellie said. "What's for dinner?"

"Whatever you feel like making," Janet replied, smirking as the teenaged girl headed into the kitchen to begin cooking, while she turned her attention back to the webpage she had open on her laptop.

When Janet took on the parental responsibility for Ellie, she'd had to fill out a lot of forms to make the arrangement official, forms she'd requested and was given copies of. The forms contained the usual details- name, address, occupation details... But one of the forms had also included information Ellie had provided about where she'd previously lived, which included her parents' names and last known address. Janet was willing to bet that they wouldn't have moved in the nine months since they'd last seen Ellie, or if they had, they wouldn't have moved away from London. Janet had spent the previous hour searching as many directory enquiry websites as she could to find Ellie's parents contact details, and just as Ellie had walked through the door, the search had paid off. Janet had a contact telephone number for the teenaged girl’s parents and was determined to ring it the following day... But she was still none the wiser as to what she'd say to them.

On the one hand, Janet wanted to be diplomatic. She wanted to repair the relationship between Ellie and her parents, to reintroduce them to their new daughter and begin the healing process, so she knew she had to be calm and polite. But at the same time, Ellie's parents' attitude toward her offended her to her core. The notion that someone could abandon all responsibility for their child was a concept that Janet couldn't understand, and she hoped she never would understand. They were Ellie's parents solely in the biological sense. They'd provided her no support of any kind over the preceding nine months, and that made Janet wonder whether or not they even deserved to have Ellie in their lives.

But whenever Janet had those angry or scornful thoughts, she reminded herself of precisely why she was taking the steps she was- not for Ellie's parents, but for Ellie herself. Ellie's parents' feelings were irrelevant, just as Janet's herself would have been if Ethan or Lindsay had been hurting and needed her support. For Ellie's sake- and for no one else's- she was determined to open lines of communication.

All throughout her day at work, Janet found herself being distracted by her impending phone call. She ran through all the scenarios in her head- that Ellie's parents wouldn't even acknowledge her, that they'd get angry, that they'd be indifferent, or even that they'd welcome getting reacquainted with their daughter. Janet even considered the possibility that Ellie might even move back in with her parents after her birthday, and that it would mean that Janet would be alone in her flat- but even if that did happen, Janet knew that she and Ellie would be friends for life.

Eventually, the clock ticked 3pm, signalling the end of Janet's work day, and the middle-aged woman let out a sigh as she headed to a quiet corner of the staff area to make her phone call. She knew what she was going to say- she just wished she knew what Ellie's parents were going to say.

As she dialled the number into her phone, Janet’s digits trembled more and more, and when she was ready to make the call, she hesitated- was she doing the right thing for Ellie? Could her interference actually make matters worse for the girl?

"What could be worse than being abandoned by your parents?" Janet mused to herself, before taking a deep breath and pressing the 'call' button. "No going back now..." Janet braced herself as the phone rang four times, before being answered by a woman with a pronounced London accent.

"Hello?" The woman on the other end of the phone asked.

"Ah- hello, is- is this Mrs. Sharon Blake?" Janet asked in as official-sounding a voice as she could manage.

"Speaking," Ellie's mother replied. "Can I ask who's calling, please?"

"I- my name is Janet Cole, and I'm calling with regard to- to your eldest child," Janet said, bracing herself for the inevitable backlash.

"I only have one son," Sharon replied, her voice immediately descending to a low growl. "Who did you say you were again?"

"I'm-" Janet said, before briefly pausing. "...Your eldest child's foster carer." Not technically untrue, Janet thought to herself.

"Are you letting him prance around in dresses and kiss random boys?" Sharon sneered, instantly raising Janet's heckles. The transwoman had to take a deep breath before considering her reply.

"I am allowing ELLIE to express herself the way SHE feels fit, if that's what you mean," Janet replied.

"Huh, some 'carer' you are, then," Sharon scoffed. "What that BOY needs is some sense knocking into him! HE is a boy and HE always will be!" Janet closed her eyes and took several deep breaths to calm herself down as she listened to the unapologetic bigotry of the woman she'd tried to open a dialogue with. She'd hoped that not seeing their firstborn child in nine months would give the parents a chance to think and reflect on their actions and their attitudes, but it had become clear that Ellie's mother was incapable of seeing beyond the end of her own nose- and that was something Janet had plenty of experience with.

Both of Janet's parents had been born in 1940, and both had been products of their time. All throughout Janet's childhood, whenever she acted in a way that wasn't what they deemed 'right'- whether that was listening to music they didn't like, watching the wrong TV programmes or even acting in a way they considered 'gay' or 'feminine'- Janet was punished with a clip around the ear, a punishment that would be repeated until she'd, in the words of her father, 'learned his lesson'. No matter how much the world changed around them, Janet's parents wouldn't change, and nothing proved that more than on Janet's daughter's seventh birthday, when Lindsay had a party with five other girls... One of whom was a Pakistani girl named Faiza. Janet's only memory of that birthday- and probably Lindsay’s only memory as well- was of having to explain to the tearful girl why her grandparents refused to stay for her party.

Janet's parents both passed away less than five years afterward, but their attitudes left a lasting impression on the transwoman. She knew she'd never be able to shake the feeling of guilt every time she wore the clothes that corresponded to her proper gender, but that didn't mean that she couldn't spare Ellie the same torment.

"Your daughter- DAUGHTER- has been through a lot over the past nine months," Janet said sternly. "She's had to deal with rejection, depression and even homelessness. As her parent, you have a duty to-"

"Duty?" Sharon scoffed. "HE has a duty to US to do as we say! And HE knows that all he has to do is apologise to us and forget about this 'transgender' nonsense, and he'll be welcomed back with open arms."

"Well you learn something new every day," Janet growled. "I never realised that a parent's love was supposed to be conditional."

"Don't call this number again," Sharon spat. "Do, and we'll have you arrested for harassment." Janet cursed under her breath as Sharon terminated the call- it had gone just about as badly as she'd imagined, and she was forced to admit that her own attitudes hadn't helped. She was supposed to be impartial, offering an objective view to Ellie's parents, but she'd allowed herself to get angry, which had only made matters worse.

The one positive Janet took away from the phone call was that it proved that she cared about her children more than Ellie's parents cared about theirs- Ellie included.

"Hi Ellie," Janet said with a quiet sigh as the teenaged girl entered the flat. "Good day at college?"

"Not bad," Ellie shrugged. "Work's kinda piling up though, you know, getting near exams..."

"Yeah, I remember my days at school and university," Janet replied. "Believe it or not."

"You're not THAT old," Ellie retorted, making Janet smile. "Get up to much at work?"

"Oh- the usual," Janet lied. She saw no point in upsetting Ellie when she only had bad news to report about her parents, especially when Janet believed that the situation was not beyond repair.

The telephone call to Ellie's parents had been a disaster. Janet knew that if she called again, Sharon would immediately hang up on her, or worse still, follow through on her threat to report her to the police. However, for Ellie's sake, Janet wasn't prepared to fall at the first hurdle. She needed a new plan, one that Sharon or Ellie's father couldn't simply 'hang up on'- and there was only one option that came to mind.

"I've got tomorrow off work," Janet announced, surprising the teenaged girl.

"Hope it's not on my account," Ellie said. "'Cause of, you know, my birthday and all..."

"Oh- no, no, got a, umm, appointment with, umm, social services," Janet lied.

"Thought they fit their visits around your working hours?" Ellie asked.

"Not always easy when my shifts are practically 9-5 anyway," Janet said, hoping that Ellie would drop the subject and not press further, despite how unconvincing she knew she sounded.

"Huh, okay," Ellie shrugged. "Want me to get dinner ready?"

"Please," Janet replied, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief as Ellie headed into the kitchen to prepare their evening meal. Janet saw no point in getting Ellie's hopes up when there was no guarantee of success, and while she hated keeping the truth from her, telling her about the telephone call would only cause Ellie further stress- even though withholding the information was causing Janet herself stress.

The evening meal passed without any mention of Janet's planned activities, and both women opted to get an early night, though Janet found herself struggling to sleep as she mentally prepared herself for the following day's confrontation.

When Janet woke up the following morning, she was unsurprised to find that Ellie had already left for college, leaving only her dirty breakfast dishes and a 'good luck with the social worker' note in her wake. Janet tried to use the monotony of her outstanding housework to relax her mind, but she still found her stomach churning at the thought of what she was preparing to do.

When Janet called, the worst that Ellie's mother could do was hang up the phone, but if she showed up in person, it had the potential to be much worse. She could be physically restrained, or even attacked... Or Sharon could decide that Janet was threatening her and have her arrested, and if she was imprisoned and her transgendered status was found out...

"No- no," Janet chastised herself. "Don't focus on the worst case scenario. You're there to help Ellie. You're there to be rational. Sharon's an adult, she's not going to start a fight as long as you talk to her as a rational adult." Janet took several deep breaths to calm herself, before heading to the bathroom to shower and prepare herself for her meeting.

After applying a moderate layer of make-up to her face, Janet paused as she opened her wardrobe and considered her look for the day ahead. She wanted to appear professional, but not TOO severe, and she definitely wanted to appear feminine, as she was certain that her 'status' would come up during the course of the 'meeting'. Her fingers briefly moved over her best pair of (women's) trousers, but she quickly moved on to her favourite pencil skirt, which she removed from the wardrobe along with a smart, closely-fitted turtleneck.

Janet took several deep breaths as she squeezed herself into her 'firm control' pantie corselette, before sliding a pair of opaque black tights up her legs and stepping into her chosen outfit for the day, finishing her look with a pair of low-heeled court shoes and a plain winter coat.

Ellie's parents' house was less than four miles from Janet's flat, but it still required two tube rides, giving Janet plenty of time to mentally prepare for the confrontation. However, as she knocked on the non-script front door, Janet's nerves rendered her barely able to remember her own name.

"Just a second," Sharon's unmistakable voice came from within the house, Seconds later, she opened the door, and visibly recoiled in confusion at the sight of the transgendered woman on her doorstep. "...Can I help you?"

"Y- yes," Janet said, swallowing once to compose herself. "My name is Janet. We spoke on the phone yesterday." Janet tried not to shiver as Sharon's face twisted into an angry scowl.

"I have nothing to say to you," Sharon spat, preparing to slam the door in Janet's face. Janet, however, would not let herself be deterred so easily.

"Well I have something to say to you," Janet said firmly. "Something you're going to listen to whether you like it or not, because Ellie IS your child and you still have a responsibility to her!"

"What about HIS responsibility to us?" Sharon retorted.

"There we are again," Janet scoffed. "Conditional love."

"I told you I'd have you arrested if you ever contac-" Sharon growled, before suddenly pausing mid-sentence, her eyes going wide as she looked more closely at Janet. This is gonna suck... The middle-aged transwoman thought to herself. "Wait, you- you- you're a man too!"

"The term is 'transgendered woman'," Janet said firmly, trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her. "Just as your DAUGHTER is a transgendered girl. A girl who turns seventeen tomorrow, and all she wants for her birthday is to know that her parents still love her!"

"You pervert!" Sharon shrieked. "No wonder you were so eager to foster our son, I bet you molest him every night! That's what you trannies do, isn't it! I ought to call the police and have you locked away forever!" Janet bit her lip as she felt her entire body begin to tremble with rage at the other woman's naked prejudice.

"Go right ahead," Janet hissed. "I'm sure they'd have a few words with you, last time I checked, filing a false police report was a crime, wasn't it? Not sure whether or not slander is but if you're slandering an entire community, such as the transgendered community? Which includes your daughter, by the way."

"HE is no child of mine!" Sharon growled. "Fuck off before I call the police!"

"Fine, I'll go," Janet sighed angrily. "Ellie is much better off without your 'care' anyway. But let me tell you one thing, from one parent to another. I would feel ashamed, truly ashamed of myself if I ever treated either of my children the way you're treating Ellie. You do not deserve to call yourself a mother. At all."

"Get off my property," Sharon hissed, creating a tense moment on her porch that only lasted for a second before being broken by the presence of a young man behind her- a young man that for one brief second, Janet mistook for her young flatmate.

"Mum?" The teenaged boy asked. "What's going on? Who's she?"

"Sh- this person is leaving," Sharon said in as calm a voice as she could manage. "You're not well, Jack, you should be in bed. Unless you think you're well enough to go to school now?"

"Not really," Jack moaned, though Janet, drawing on her years of experience as a parent, could instantly tell that the boy was a lot healthier than he wanted his mother to believe.

"Leave," Sharon hissed, slamming the door in Janet's face. Before the door closed, however, Janet was able to yell one final sentence, one she hoped would lead to some form of reconciliation between Ellie and her family.

"Your sister says hi, Jack," Janet yelled before the door closed and she let out a long, tired sigh of frustration.

----------

"One sleep left 'til the Christmas in February!" Monique teased, making Ellie blush as they left their college at the end of the day.

"We are not calling it THAT," Ellie retorted with a giggle. "...They put up decorations at Christmas, for one thing!"

"Ooh, now THERE's a challenge!" Monique giggled. "Think we might be able to a thing or two there, eh Kace?"

"Just leave it with us," Kacey said with a smile. "'Cause, like, it's your seventeenth birthday, but it's also, like your first, innit?"

"I guess," Ellie shrugged. "At least I know this year all my presents will be, you know, 'right'. Last year I got a West Ham scarf and a Fast and Furious box set..."

"I'd have had the scarf if you didn't want it!" Kacey said, making the blonde girl giggle and roll her eyes.

"And I'd DEFINITELY have taken the box set!" Monique giggled.

"You like watching movies with fast cars in them, then?" Ellie asked.

"Not really," Monique replied. "But I definitely like watching movies with Dwayne Johnson in them!"

"...He IS hot," Ellie giggled as she and her friends went their separate ways and headed back to their respective homes.

Ellie found herself buzzing with excitement as she walked up the stairs to hers and Janet's flat- despite everything that had happened over the past twelve months, she knew that she could rely on Kacey and Monique, and could definitely rely on Janet to make her birthday enjoyable, and more importantly, as girly as possible. Kacey was right when she said that it was also 'Ellie's first birthday, but Ellie was determined that it would be the first of many. She'd spent so much of the time since her last birthday feeling miserable and sorry for herself, and although her pessimism had been justified, she was determined to turn a corner and start to feel good about herself. And she had a lot to feel good about- though her new-found positivity started to dwindle when she walked through the front door of the flat and saw Janet sitting in her usual chair with a stern expression on her face.

"Hi Janet," Ellie said, trying to brush off the older transwoman's serious look. "Me- meeting with the social worker go okay?"

"Ellie, please sit down," Janet said, causing the teenager's knees to wobble. "I- I need to tell you something."

"What- what is it?" Ellie asked as she lowered herself onto the sofa and a million scenarios rushed through her head- all of which concerned whether or not she'd need to find a new place to live the following day.

"I- I didn't have a meeting with the social worker today," Janet confessed, her demeanour just as nervous as Ellie's. "I went to- to see your mother."

"My- my mother?" Ellie asked, dumbfounded by the news. "My mother!? What the- why would you do that? And without telling me?"

"Ellie, please calm down," Janet whispered.

"Calm down!?" Ellie asked. "Seriously? After you go behind my back like this!?"

"I was only trying to help," Janet insisted as she felt herself shrink into her chair under the teenager's unbridled anger.

"And did it help?" Ellie asked.

"...No," Janet whispered, frowning as Ellie let out a long sigh of frustration. "Ellie, please try to understand that I only want to do what's best for you. I'm sure you realise that tomorrow isn't just your seventeenth birthday, but in a way it's also your first."

"Yes, I do realise that," Ellie said, frowning at the realisation that Kacey's statement didn't just mean that it was Ellie's first birthday as a girl, but also her first as an effective orphan.

"Whether or not they choose to accept it," Janet explained, "as your parents, they do still have a responsibility toward you."

"Let me guess," Ellie sighed. "Mum responded by saying 'oh but what about her responsibility toward me'? By which I mean my so-called responsibility toward her?"

"Got it in one," Janet sighed.

"That's because I know my 'mother'," Ellie spat. "One of the most selfish people in the world. Takes it as a personal insult if you don't immediately jump to your feet when she clicks her fingers."

"She did strike me as a little self-centred," Janet mumbled.

"Only a little?" Ellie snorted. "Must've caught her on a good day."

"I want you to know that I wanted to make things better between you and her," Janet said. "I hoped to try to improve your relationship, build bridges-"

"Oh, I understand," Ellie said, before letting out a long sigh. "And I'm sorry if I, like, got in your face. I know you were only trying to help, just- if you'd told me before, I'd, like, have told you not to bother. You'd be pissed off if I talked to your wife behind your back, wouldn't you?"

"Well- I guess," Janet said. "And I'm sorry that I've made things worse. Because for better or worse, I've agreed to take care of you, and I see that as meaning more than just giving you a bed for the night and regular meals."

"I bet you were a better parent to your children than my mum was to me," Ellie said quietly.

"...I may or may not have said something similar to your mother earlier today," Janet confessed, before smirking as Ellie let out a loud giggle.

"She won't have liked THAT," the teenager snorted.

"Sorry," Janet mumbled.

"Nah, just wish I could've seen it," Ellie shrugged. "Did- did you see my dad too?"

"Think he was at work," Janet said apologetically. "What does he do, again?"

"Works for the Highways Agency, filling potholes," Ellie replied. "He's, like, a 'proper' man. Always had his own, like, ideas about what kind of man I should be. Me and my brother." Janet smiled sympathetically as Ellie sniffed back a tear.

"...I'd be proud if I'd raised a child like you," Janet said, causing the tears to flow freely from the young woman's eyes. "I really would. You're clever, independent and a lot stronger than you think."

"Even though I'm sat here crying my eyes out?" Ellie moaned.

"Especially because of that," Janet whispered, sitting next to the blonde girl and giving her a gentle, motherly hug.

The following morning, Ellie got out of bed at her usual time, which was almost an hour and a half after Janet, giving the older woman time to get the living room ready. When Ellie stepped into the small room, her face instantly lit up at the sight that greeted her.

"Happy birthday!" Janet cheered, smiling as Ellie giggled with excitement.

"Oh my god!" Ellie gasped as she scanned the room. The sofa was covered in a small, but still respectable pile of presents, there were pink streamers hanging from the lampshade and the back wall was dominated by three silver balloons- one shaped like an 'E', one like a '1' and the other like a '7'.

"You can open one present now," Janet said. "You don't want to be late for college today of all days! The rest will still be here when you get home." Ellie squeaked with excitement as she tore open the wrapping paper of the largest gift, sighing happily as it was revealed to be a brand new curling iron.

"Oh my god, thank you so much!" Ellie sobbed.

"I figured with hair as beautiful as yours," Janet shrugged. "Now go on, go and get ready for college! I take it Monique and Kacey will be coming home with you tonight?"

"Oh- only if that's okay," Ellie said.

"Yeah, I'd say it's okay!" Janet giggled. "Now go on, I'd better get going now before I'M late, heh."

"Thanks Janet," Ellie said softly, before giving the older woman a tentative, friendly hug. "You're the best!"

"Well- I'm not bad, heh," Janet replied, before heading through the front door of the flat. Once she'd shut the door behind her, she immediately got her phone out of her handbag and checked to see if she'd received a reply to the Facebook message she'd sent the previous night...

----------

Ellie's day at college went as per usual, with one notable exception- when she'd arrived, she'd been greeted by her friends placing a sparkly tiara on her head and a pink sash over her shoulder that read 'birthday girl'- both of which Ellie of course removed before her first class, but which she was only too happy to put back on once classes had ended for the day.

Ellie was so eager to get back to her flat to open the rest of her presents and properly begin her party that she practically sprinted once she and her friends had got off the tube, but when she opened her front door, she was unprepared for the sight that would greet her.

Sat in her usual chair was Janet, but opposite her on the sofa were two young, brown-haired women that Ellie felt she knew very well- even though she'd only met one of them twice and hadn't met the other one at all.

"Oh- my- god!" Ellie squeaked. "Steph!?"

"Happy birthday, Ellie!" The famous singer said, rising from her seat to give the blonde girl a tight, friendly hug. "Hi, you must be Kacey, and you must be Monique, right?"

"Oh my god, yes!" Monique squeaked as she and Stephanie exchanged a hug. "We're such huge fans of yours, it's so amazing to finally meet you!"

"What are you even doing here?" Ellie asked. "I thought you were on tour?"

"I am, that's why I can't stay long," Stephanie giggled. "But I wasn't going to NOT pop down and wish you a happy birthday. And introduce you to this young woman, who's a lot smarter than she might look, hehe! Ellie Blake, I'd like you to meet Nikki Thomas, Out of Heaven's PA!"

"Hi, it's nice to meet you!" Nikki said as she exchanged a gentle hug with the birthday girl. "Steph's filled me in on everything that's been happening, sounds like you've had it REALLY rough."

"Ugh, you have NO idea," Ellie sighed.

"Well, what I DO know is that no girl should be upset on their birthday," Nikki said. "Like Steph said, we can't stay long, but I want you to know that anytime you need to talk, I'll always be available to listen. Though from talking to Janet I know that she's a very caring, very wise woman. Steph and I may have been lucky to have had the support of our parents, but Janet- Janet can support you just as well."

"Probably even better," Ellie said softly, smiling as she noticed the older woman's eyes start to well with tears.

"I really wish we could stay longer," Stephanie sighed, "but the rest of my adoring public's waiting for me, heh. But I did want to give you our present, hehe!" Ellie smiled excitedly as Stephanie handed over a small, gift-wrapped envelope. Ellie tried not to get her hopes up as to what the envelope would contain, but she couldn't stop her imagination from getting the better of her- and for once, she was not disappointed when she opened the envelope.

"Oh my god!" Ellie squeaked as she pulled three thin slips of cardboard out of the envelope.

"Are- are they!?" Kacey gasped.

"Three tickets to our show at the O2 tomorrow night," Stephanie said with a grin. "You're all coming. I insist."

"Oh my god thank you so much!" Ellie squeaked, giving Stephanie another, much tighter hug.

"It really was the least I could do!" Stephanie giggled. "Helps that I'm friends with the boss, hehe! Now we really go have to be going- I kinda want to keep on the good side of my boss, hehe! Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Ellie. You've more than earned it."

"I will," Ellie said, shaking with excitement as she and her friends sat in the now-vacated sofa.

Ellie and her friends spent the rest of the evening in a state of near-euphoria following their celebrity encounter, however brief it was. Ellie was grateful for all of her other presents, which included clothes, make-up and other beauty products, but none of them could compare to the concert tickets. Janet knew this, and didn't mind one bit- she was just happy that Ellie would be able to enjoy her birthday. Her biological family might not have been willing to help Ellie out, but if the previous few days had proved anything to the two transwomen, it was that being related to someone by blood didn't mean that you were family. As far as Janet was concerned, Ellie was family- and that was a feeling that was most certainly mutual.

----------

"Good concert?" Janet asked as Ellie walked through the front door, exhausted but with a wide, euphoric grin on her face.

"The BEST," Ellie said. "Out of Heaven are SO cool..."

"Well, I'd get saving if I were you, I've heard rumours they'll be touring again later this year!" Janet said with a giggle. "I'm going to head to bed now. Don't stay up too late!"

"I won't," Ellie replied with a grin as she reached into her handbag for her phone. The teenaged girl grinned widely as she looked over the photos that she'd taken at the concert, selecting the best one to send to her friends, but when she opened up Facebook to write the message, she got the shock of her life when she saw that she'd received a message from a highly unexpected source.

'Hi Ellie,' the message read. 'Hope you had a good birthday. Mum and dad check my phone so I have to delete this message once I've sent it and you can't reply to it earlier, but I just wanted you to know that I miss you and I really wish you could come home. Hope I can see you soon, Jack.'

The teenaged girl didn't even try to control her tears as she read and reread her brother's message over and over again. Maybe some blood relatives or hers could be family after all...

"Have fun," Janet said with a smirk as Ellie headed out the front door. "And don't stay out too-"

"Bye!" Ellie said with a smug smirk, before closing the door behind her. "Don't wait up!"

"-Late," Janet sighed, before allowing herself a quiet chuckle. "Kids..."

It had been almost two months since Ellie's birthday, and in that time, it seemed to Janet that the seventeen year old girl had been somehow rejuvenated. Despite Janet's failure in reconnecting Ellie with her parents, she was more vibrant, had more energy, and smiled a lot more than she did when she originally moved into the small flat. And, more notably, she spent a lot more time out with her friends, especially at weekends- such as at the party that she, Kacey and Monique were attending that very evening.

Janet couldn't blame the young woman for wanting to enjoy her youth- when she'd been seventeen, she'd enjoyed a similar social life with her friends. The only difference was that when Janet went out, she wore jeans and a checked shirt, and when Ellie left the flat, she was wearing a tight top, a short skirt and high heeled shoes, not to mention what looked like a ton of make-up. Janet was happy for Ellie, and yet she couldn't help but feel envious of her, and not just because the teenage girl was going out just as she'd returned from her 'night out' with her friends.

However, Janet easily put such negative thoughts to the back of her mind, where they belonged. Ellie had the opportunities that she hadn't had as a teenager, and that was the way it should be. Janet's only hopes were that Ellie was having fun, and (like a good mother) that she was being responsible enough not to have TOO much fun.

----------

"Whose house are we going to again?" Kacey asked as she, Monique and Ellie walked along the empty street.

"Dane Fox's," Ellie replied with a smug grin.

"He fit?" Monique asked.

"With a name like that, he'd better be!" Ellie replied, before giggling. "Nah, he's on my course. Pretty nice looking, maybe a bit skinny but I'd have him and not regret it after."

"So... His birthday or summat?" Kacey asked.

"His parents' birthday," Ellie explained. "Which they're spending in Italy. Meaning that Mr. Foxy has the whole house to himself..." Ellie smiled as her friends giggled excitedly at the news that their party would be a REAL party- even though she knew that her friends would've been happy even if had just been a smaller, quiet one, because it would've been the three of them attending together.

Ever since her birthday, Ellie had grown closer to Kacey and Monique as friends. Her 'pep talk' from Stephanie and Nikki- along with regular 'check-ins' from both women- had given her confidence a much-needed boost. Ellie was more outgoing, more willing to open up to her friends and more willing to make new friends, such as the young man whose house she'd be spending the evening at. She'd even regained the courage to spend time at Kacey's house- even if her welcome had evaporated when Ellie told Kacey's father that, in no uncertain terms, he was entitled to precisely none of the credit for her newfound resolve.

Six people, however, could claim credit for turning Ellie's life around. Kacey and Monique were two of them, as were Stephanie and Nikki. Ellie had prided herself on being independent, able to handle her own life, and when she'd reached out to Stephanie for help when she found herself homeless, she saw it as a sign of weakness, a personal failure. However, she'd come to learn that nothing could be further from the truth. The old saying that a friend in need was a friend indeed was one Ellie had found to be true. Needing the help of other people didn't make you weak, or a failure, it made you human, and in Ellie's case, part of a family, one not connected by blood but by spirit.

And the 'mother' of said 'family' was the person Ellie gave the most credit for her life improving. Janet had proven herself to be a kind, generous and fair person, equal parts friend, mentor and surrogate parent to Ellie. While Ellie still felt that her actions in trying to contact her parents caused more harm than good, she acknowledged that it was an action born solely out of care for Ellie's well-being- just like everything else Janet had done over the previous few months.

The most unexpected source of Ellie's improved mood, however, was the one blood relative that Ellie still had contact with. Ever since the message just after her birthday, Ellie and her brother had exchanged dozens of messages, each one bringing with it a spark of hope that maybe all was not lost with Ellie's biological family. Even though Ellie could only send messages at certain times of the day, when she knew that their mother wouldn't intercept them, she still saw it as an improvement over the nothing she'd had before- and in many ways, an improvement over the relationship she'd had previously.

As brother, 'Liam' and Jack hadn't been particularly close. Their father's domineering personality had meant that there had very rarely been any chance for the two to grow close unless it was under his supervision, usually at a traditionally male activity such as a football game. Neither Ellie nor Jack had enjoyed these occasions, and as such, the 'bond' between them had never had the chance to properly form. However, the bond between brother and sister seemed to grow stronger with every message they exchanged- and Ellie secretly held out the hope that they wouldn't be restricted to communicating electronically for much longer.

However, Ellie was not willing to put her life on hold while she waited for her family to accept her. She was a seventeen year old girl, and she intended to enjoy every second of her teenage years. In her own opinion, she had a lot of lost time to make up.

"Hey you three!" Dane- the party's host- said with a confident smirk as he opened the door to let Ellie and her friends into the already-heaving party. "Glad you could come!"

"Ah, we weren't gonna miss this!" Monique giggled as she and her friends were each handed a bottle of bright blue WKD.

"Got many people coming?" Ellie asked.

"Depends on who shows up, really," Dane shrugged as he and Ellie exchanged a nervous giggle.

"What Ellie means," Kacey said as she wrapped an unwelcome arm around the blonde girl's waist, "is how many BOYS are gonna be here?"

"...Take your pick!" Dane chuckled as he gestured to the mass of bodies in the living room. Ellie didn't need to be told twice, and had a wide grin on her face as she joined the crowd, intending to enjoy every second of the party- just as she intended to do for her life as a whole.

----------

"Thanks for coming out tonight," Janet said as she and her friends sat down at their usual table in their local pub. "Didn't really fancy being alone again, heh."

"Oh, that's okay," Meredith replied. "It's not like I had anything better to do, heh! Not that I don't enjoy hanging out with you, I mean, I had a few things to do tonight, but this seemed like the most fun- I mean, obviously it WILL be the most fun, and-"

"You're welcome," Shannon said with a giggle, silencing her friend and widening the smile on Janet's face. "Where is Ellie today anyway, at a friend's?"

"Yep," Janet replied. "Think it's the sixth different one in as many weeks... But it's good she's making friends. Good that she's even being accepted at college."

"Is she eighteen yet?" Meredith asked.

"Not for another ten months," Janet replied.

"Well THAT will be something to look forward to," Meredith said. "I remember when I turned eighteen- well, bits of it, hehe! 'Cause, you know, I was spending every weekend in every club I could find, I was always going out with my mates, driving my mother mad, especially as my sister was always the one taking me to the clubs, but now she's a mother too, her niece went to her first school disco a few months ago and Alice was SO panicky and- umm..." Meredith bit her lip as she saw Janet's emotions begin to wobble- undoubtedly due to the fact that in addition to Ellie, Janet had two other children she'd not had contact with in over a year.

"No, it's okay, go on," Janet said softly. "I guess I'm just feeling a bit extra emotional about Ethan and Lindsay... Ethan was 18 last month, Lindsay was 16 just last week... I'm never going to forgive myself for not being there for that."

"You have nothing to feel guilty about," Shannon said softly. "If your children found out what a kind and generous person you've been the last few months, the way you've helped Ellie, I'm sure-"

"Thanks, but neither of you are parents yourselves," Janet said firmly, before letting out a long, pained sigh. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, but- ugh. Topic change, please?"

"Sure," Shannon said quietly.

"I think Shannon was only trying to help," Meredith said, biting her lip as Janet frowned.

"I know," the older woman sighed. "And I'm sorry, I am, but- it's kind an old wound I don't need reopening right now. This time last year was also, kinda... Another thing I don't want to remember." Meredith and Shannon both frowned and tried to avoid eye contact with the transwoman- they both knew about her stay in a psychiatric hospital, and the reason for her stay there.

"...Then we'll just have to make new memories," Meredith said. "Happy memories, memories you'll actually, you know, want to remember? Something like that, anyway..."

"That'd be nice," Janet said, the smile returning to her face as she allowed herself to relax and enjoy the company of her best friends. However, she couldn't help but wonder what her children were doing that night- all three of them...

----------

"Mmph," Ellie moaned as she opened her eyes and was greeted by a sharp pain in her forehead.

"Wondered when you'd wake up," Janet said with a smirk, startling the teenaged girl.

"Who- wha- where am I?" Ellie blurted as she focussed her eyes to see Janet leaning against her door frame.

"In your own bed, and alone, thankfully," Janet said with a smile. "Well, alone apart from the several gallons of booze you no doubt drank last night."

"...Sorry," Ellie mumbled into her pillow.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Janet chuckled. "You wouldn't be a teenager if you didn't rebel once a while. And underage drinking might be against the law but there's rarely any real harm done."

"Doesn't feel like it," Ellie moaned as she rubbed her throbbing forehead.

"Doesn't it?" Janet asked in an overly-loud voice, giggling as Ellie retreated back into her bed sheets with a pained moan. "You also wouldn't be a teenager if you didn't immediately regret 'rebelling', heh. Here, I've bought you some aspirin and a glass of water, get it down you, it'll help."

"Thanks," Ellie whispered, taking the tablet and swallowing it with a gulp of the water.

"Of course, if you get a part-time job..." Janet teased.

"Yes, yes, I know," Ellie moaned. "And I'm still looking, honest."

"No rush," Janet shrugged. "And obviously, no rush to do anything today, hehe! You take your time and try to clear your head. Are Kacey and Monique coming round today?"

"If they're not as smashed as I am," Ellie moaned, rolling over and checking her phone for any messages, only to smile when she saw that she had received a message from an unexpected source twenty minutes earlier.

"I'll leave you to text in peace," Janet chuckled. "Speaking of which, a text to let me know when you'll be coming home in future wouldn't go amiss. And I'd DEFINITELY appreciate one if you won't be coming home."

"I'm not THAT kind of girl, as I've said many times in the past," Ellie sighed. "Do you see anyone else in bed with me?"

"Okay, maybe not," Janet conceded. "It's just- Ellie, I don't mind you getting a boyfriend- A boyfriend- but- just- be careful, okay?"

"I will," Ellie replied, smiling at Janet as the older woman left the room. Ellie took a deep breath before reading her message again, which almost seemed to clear her hangover by itself- though the content of the message was, as always, far less important than the identity of the person who sent it.

'Hey sis,' Jack's message read. 'Can't chat long, mum and dad have gone to the supermarket, will be back around 11 so please don't message after then. What you up to today?'

'Not much,' Ellie replied. 'Still in bed, got a minging hangover from last night.'

'Poor you,' Jack typed with a 'stuck out tongue' emoji, making Ellie roll her eyes. 'Reckon you're gonna get out bed today?'

'Not sure yet,' Ellie replied. 'Janet'll probably moan at me if I don't. Wish I could come over to see you, or you could come to see me.'

'Mum'll never go for that,' Jack replied, and Ellie could almost feel the sigh through her phone- she knew from their conversations that Jack missed her just as much as she missed him.

'She doesn't need to know,' Ellie typed.

'That won't stop her from asking,' Jack replied. 'Think they're back early, gotta go now and delete these messages. Talk soon sis!'

'Bye!' Ellie replied with a smiling emoji, though as she put her phone back on her nightstand, Ellie felt a solitary tear trickle down her cheek. Her life with her friends was fun, and Janet was as understanding a parental figure as Ellie could've hoped for, but there were still many occasions on which she yearned to be back in her own home with her real family...

The weekend quickly came and went, and Ellie let out her customary moan of pain and frustration as her alarm clock woke her at 7am on the Monday morning for another week of college.

"Come on, get up," Janet- who was already fully dressed in her work clothes- yelled through Ellie's bedroom door. "Life isn't all parties, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Ellie sighed as she swung her hairless legs out of bed, wrapped her fluffy pink dressing gown around her body and padded through to the flat's tiny kitchen area. However, her mind was already on the upcoming weekend, and the inevitable party it would bring.

As Ellie got on her regular college bus, she could tell from the expressions on her friends' faces that she wasn't the only one already looking forward to the weekend.

"Hey Ellie!" Monique said with a grin as Ellie squeezed into her regular seat. "Good weekend? Still smashed from Friday?"

"Nah, think I shifted the hangover at about eleven last night," Ellie replied, making her friends giggle. "What we got planned for this weekend?"

"Steady on, need to get the week done first!" Kacey said with a snort of laughter.

"Ugh, do we have to?" Ellie asked, making her friends giggle again.

"Desperate to see the foxy Mr. Fox again?" Monique asked. "I thought I saw the two of you sneaking off on Friday night..."

"Well, you saw wrong," Ellie sighed. "Sadly. Didn't do ANY 'sneaking' on Friday night."

"And that is what regret sounds like!" Kacey giggled.

"No," Ellie retorted. "Maybe. But- ugh, this is gonna sound SO stupid..."

"All the more reason to spit it out!" Monique teased.

"I'm just, you know..." Ellie mumbled. "Having fun hanging out with the two of you. Like, just the three of us, as girls?"

"Well, duh!" Kacey chuckled. "What else would we be hanging out as?"

"Well- you know..." Ellie mumbled.

"Yeah, I know what the 'wrong answer' would be," Kacey said with a warm grin.

"So you're, like, making up for lost time?" Monique asked.

"Something like that, yeah," Ellie chuckled. "Sixteen years of it!"

"So you're not looking for a boyfriend, then?" Kacey teased, making the blonde girl blush.

"...I wouldn't say no if the right guy came along," Ellie replied with a smug grin. "But I'm not, you know, gonna jump in bed with ANY guy. THEY can come to ME!"

"And they probably will!" Kacey said, making Ellie roll her eyes as the bus headed toward college and another week of hard work.

The week passed slowly for Ellie, despite her and her friends' attempts to have fun. However, their gossip sessions- both face to face and over Facebook- and their regular lunches and meet-ups at Ellie and Janet's flat didn't hold the same level of excitement for Ellie that they used to- not when compared to the promise of the fun that was to come on the Friday evening.

By the time Friday rolled around again, all three girls were tired after a long week of work, but excited by the prospect of the night of fun that laid ahead of them- none more than Ellie, who practically skipped out of college in her eagerness to go home and change for her night out.

"Calm down, god's sake!" Kacey admonished the blonde girl. "Night ain't gonna get here any faster just 'cause you're sprinting toward it..."

"I know," Ellie shrugged. "But we've earned this weekend, haven't we?"

"Damn right we have!" Monique giggled. "So... Where we going tonight?"

"...Kace?" Ellie asked her brown-haired friend, who rolled her eyes and laughed in response.

"Girl called Sonia, who's on my course," Kacey replied. "Was her eighteenth on Tuesday, her parents are letting her have a party tonight... That's basically it, heh."

"Though just 'cause it's a girl's party, it doesn't mean there won't be boys there!" Ellie teased, making her friends giggle.

"Good to know you've thought this through!" Monique laughed. "Pick you up about seven, okay?"

"Works for me!" Ellie giggled, waving goodbye to her friends as she headed back to her flat- though not before smiling as she soaked in the stares of many of the boys at her college. While many of the boys refused to even look at her, there were a few who were open-minded enough to look past Ellie's transgendered status- and that number seemed to be growing every day. Ellie had no intention of jumping into bed with just anyone, but the reminders that she was seen by many as the attractive young woman she wanted to be were enough to put a smile on her face.

Ellie's smile widened as she arrived at the house party and immediately drew the attention of virtually all of the boys toward her svelte body in its tight top and scandalously short miniskirt.

"Jackpot," Ellie whispered to Kacey and Monique as she looked around the packed house and drank in the sight of all of the attractive young men present. Before too long, Ellie had a drink in her hand and was dancing the evening away with any boy who was willing to dance with her- which was virtually every boy present at the party.

After a while, though, Ellie's feet began to ache from dancing in her high-heeled shoes, so she retreated to the house's posh kitchen to sit down, where she was soon joined by the party's host.

"Hey, it's Ellie, isn't it?" Sonia asked as she sat down next to the 17 year old girl.

"Hi, yep!" Ellie replied with a giggle. "GREAT party, hehe!"

"Thanks!" Sonia replied with a giggle, before biting her lip and looking awkwardly at Ellie, who let out a gentle sigh- it was a look she was all too familiar with, and she knew immediately what the birthday girl wanted to ask her.

"...Yes, I'm transgendered," Ellie said with a sigh. "I hope that's not a problem?"

"Oh- no, not at all!" Sonia replied. "I love the Angels, so if you say you're a girl, that's all I need to know, heh. And, like, it's not like, you know, there's 'evidence to the contrary' or anything."

"Thanks," Ellie said with a smirk.

"If anything," Sonia said, "I'm just glad I have a boyfriend, like, 'cause you are getting a LOT of attention tonight and I don't need the competition, hehe!"

"Thanks again!" Ellie said with a wider grin. "Guess guys just like blonde, hehe!" Ellie shared a genuine giggle with the also-blonde birthday girl.

"Did I hear that you, like, know the Angels?" Sonia asked. "Or one of them, like?"

"I'm friends with Steph from Out of Heaven," Ellie replied. "Not actually met any of the 'proper' Angels yet. Not even any of the new ones."

"Oh, okay," Sonia replied, biting her lip with disappointment. "Would probably have been too much to ask to, you know, see if you could get one to drop around..."

"Bit short notice," Ellie said with a grimace.

"Meh, I'll know for next time," Sonia said with a smirk, which turned into a full-blown grin as her boyfriend entered the kitchen, accompanied by two of his friends- one of whom immediately caught Ellie's attention.

"Hey babe," Sonia's boyfriend said with a grin as he gave the birthday girl a kiss. "Got any more snacks in here?"

"Usual cupboard," Sonia said with a snort of laughter. "And just grab food and be rude to the other girl in the room, then?"

"You know you're the only girl I want," Sonia's boyfriend replied, giving the girl another kiss before extending his hand to Ellie. "But hi, I'm Jimmy, these are my friends Scott and Ethan."

"E- Ethan?" Ellie asked, making the young man blush as his two friends slapped him on the back.

"Ah, well done mate!" Scott teased. "Didn't even have to say a single word!"

"Piss off," Ethan replied, before turning back to Ellie. "S- sorry about him. I'm- I'm Ethan, Ethan Cole, nice to meet you."

"Ellie Blake," the blonde girl replied as her mind began racing. She knew the name 'Ethan Cole', and she knew exactly where from. As she quickly studied the young man's face, she became more and more convinced that her suspicions were correct- that the young man stood in front of her was none other than Janet's son.

"Think you two might want a little privacy!" Sonia giggled, leading her boyfriend and his friend out into the hustle and bustle of the party as Ethan sat down next to Ellie, a half-empty beer bottle in his hand.

"Umm... Hi!" Ellie giggled demurely.

"Hi!" Ethan replied. An awkward silence filled the kitchen as Ellie racked her brains, trying desperately to think of what to say to the young man. Should she come straight out and tell him about Janet? Should she tell him about her living arrangements? Should she even tell him about herself first? Ethan was, after all, a good-looking young man, and despite the inevitable awkwardness it would bring, Ellie couldn't help but be attracted to him...

"So, umm-" Ellie and Ethan said simultaneously, before both giggling at the increased awkwardness.

"You go first," Ethan said with a smile that clearly showed to Ellie that he was interested in her.

"Heh," Ellie chuckled nervously. "So, umm... I don't- don't think I've seen you at college before?"

"Do you go to the same college as Sonia?" Ethan asked, smiling as the blonde girl nodded. "Heh, I go- I go to Newham." So you don't live too far away from Janet, Ellie thought to herself. Or me, more to the point...

"I go to the one in Redbridge," Ellie said. "So- so not too far away, you know, about an hour on the tube..."

"Yeah," Ethan said, licking his lips as he took another swig of his beer. "What- what do you study?"

"Music," Ellie replied. "You?"

"Business studies," Ethan replied with a smile. "So, umm, do- do you have, umm, do you- live at home still?" Ellie smirked at the young man's awkward question- she knew that what he had really wanted to ask was 'do you have a boyfriend', but obviously couldn't quite muster up the courage.

"Nah, had a- had a falling out with my parents," Ellie sighed. "Living with- a, umm, a friend..." Ellie bit her lip as she tried to wonder how to explain the incredible coincidence to Ethan, before deciding to take it one step at a time- after all, she wasn't 100% sure yet that he was that interested in her... "You- umm, do you still live at home?"

"Just with my mum and my younger sister," Ethan shrugged. "Dad- my, umm, my dad walked out on us last year..." No he didn't, Ellie incredulously thought to herself, before mentally restraining herself. After all, Ethan could only comment on events the way he saw them. Ellie wondered briefly whether or not Jack ever felt that way about her...

"That's awful," Ellie forced herself to say as she gently squeezed Ethan's hand.

"Thanks," Ethan said as a sly grin creeped across his face. "So, umm, do- do you have a boyfriend?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Ellie said with a grin of her own as she leaned in for a kiss, which Ethan was only too happy to give her.

Mere minutes later, the two teenagers were in one of the house's bedrooms, passionately kissing on the bed as Ethan slid his hand higher up Ellie's nylon-covered thigh, reaching under her skirt and sending tingles of desire through her body. However, as Ethan's hand got closer to its 'intended target, Ellie got more and more anxious- after all, he certainly wasn't going to find what he was expecting to find, but if Ellie told the truth, it might touch a nerve with the young man- especially after what he said about Janet. And yet, Ellie found herself facing a dilemma as she gave in more and more to the kiss as Ethan got more 'adventurous'...

"Wait," Ellie said, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"What?" Ethan asked, clearly disappointed by Ellie's sudden reluctance. "If- if it's protection, I've got-"

"It's not that," Ellie said, her hands shaking with nerves as she tried and failed to think of an excuse to tell the young man. "I- umm, I need to tell you something before we- before we do this. If we do this."

"Why wouldn't I want to do this?" Ethan asked.

"I- umm," Ellie said, before smiling. "I, umm, I'm- I'm transgendered..." Ellie smiled and breathed a sigh of relief as Ethan simply nodded stoically at her revelation. "I mean, it's not fair for you to be, you know, 'surprised' or anything, and if we're going to-"

The last thing Ellie remembered before she collapsed unconscious to the floor of the room was a sharp pain in the back of her head, the sound of breaking glass and an angry yell from the young man she had been kissing mere moments earlier.

----------

"Thanks for the lift," Janet said, gulping and taking several deep breaths to calm her shredded nerves as Meredith's car pulled into the hospital car park.

"Oh- seriously, there is NO need to thank me," the younger woman- who seemed almost as anxious as Janet- replied. "I mean, if there's anything I can do, because, you know, you'd do this for me if the roles were reversed, and- sorry..."

"It's okay," Janet whispered hoarsely. "Really, it's okay." Inside, however, Janet felt far from okay. The phone call she'd received from Monique twenty minutes earlier was still ringing in her ears, and telling her one simple message: that she'd failed as Ellie's carer, and subsequently, failed in her duties as a parent.

All throughout her estrangement from her family, Janet was able to console herself with one piece of knowledge: that she'd never let down her children. Ethan and Lindsay had turned their backs on her, but she would never do the same to them, or allow any harm to come to them if it was within her power to stop it. However, harm HAD come to Ellie, harm that Janet could have prevented by simply laying down stricter ground rules for the girl. She'd tried too hard to be Ellie's friend, and as a result, not been able to steer her away from the tragedy that had happened.

Little did Janet know that her feelings of failure were about to get infinitely worse.

"H- hi," Janet said as she approached the reception desk of the hospital's busy A&E department. "I'm Janet Cole, I'm the legal guardian of Ellie Blake?"

"Just let me look her up," the tired-sounding receptionist said as she turned to her computer. "She's in triage now. Her case isn't being treated as life-threatening. If you take a seat, a doctor will be out to see you shortly. As you can see though, we are busy tonight."

"'Cause it's Friday night, I know," Janet said, gulping and taking a deep breath before sitting down on one of the reception area's hard metal chairs. She barely had the chance to marshal her thoughts, however, before she was interrupted by a loud voice from opposite her.

"Oy!" The loud, intoxicated man, who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, yelled at Janet. "Oy, you! Yeah, you! Are you a tranny?" Rather than respond, Janet took a deep breath to calm herself, before taking her phone out of her handbag and directing all of her attention toward it.

"OY!" The drunk man yelled in a louder voice, banging against his chair to attract Janet's attention. "I'm talking to you! Are you a poof in a dress?" Janet tried again to ignore the loud man, but realised that he would continue to harass her until she provided him with an answer. Janet took a deep breath and looked the sneering man directly in the eye.

"...None of your damn business," Janet spat, before turning her attention back to her phone.

"Hey!" The drunk man growled. "Don't you fucking talk to me like that you fucking queer! I wanna know if you're a fucking poof in a dress!"

"...And what if I was?" Janet asked.

"I'd kick your fucking teeth down your throat, that's what!" The drunk man yelled. "All people like you should be rounded up and have your fucking throats slashed!"

"Why?" Janet asked.

"What you fucking mean 'why?" The man snarled. "'Cause you fucking deserve it, that's why!"

"Why do we deserve it?" Janet asked, growing increasingly enraged by the man's attitude.

"'Cause you're a fucking poof, that's why!" The man spat.

"Oh, shut up you obnoxious prick!" A young man in his twenties, who was sat two seats away from Janet, groaned, instantly attracting the drunk man's ire.

"What, are you his fucking boyfriend or something?" The drunk man snarled, standing up and, on wobbly feet, aggressively squaring up to the younger man, who immediately stood up in response.

"I'm someone who doesn't like obnoxious bullies like you!" The young man spat.

"Things like that deserve to be bullied!" The drunk man yelled.

"Try telling that to the young girl who's in a hospital bed right now getting glass picked out of her skull!" Janet screeched, standing up despite her best efforts to control her emotions. "All because some lowlife scum like you is so insecure that he can't accept people being different!"

"You little cunt!" The drunk man yelled, drawing his fist back. Janet took a deep breath and braced herself for the pain that was to come, but before the obnoxious man could throw his punch, his hand was caught by a police officer who suddenly appeared in the reception area.

"Okay, that's enough," the policeman said firmly. "Sit your arse down and shut up."

"But that fucking-" the drunk man protested, only to be roughly shoved back into his seat by the policeman, which earned a round of applause from everyone in the reception area- not least Janet.

"Sit your arse down and shut your damn mouth or I'm nicking you for breach of the peace!" the policeman snapped. "I heard some of what you said. And it's people like you that make me sick. So keep your mouth shut." The policeman took a long, deep breath to calm himself down before turning to Janet with a sympathetic look on his face. "...Sorry about that."

"You're not the one who should apologise," Janet growled, before shaking her head and taking a deep breath to calm herself down. "...Sorry. Can- can I help you?"

"Are you Janet Cole?" The policeman asked.

"Yes..." Janet replied. "Is- is this about Ellie?" Janet frowned as the policeman nodded.

"There's a room nearby where we can talk in private," the policeman said, leading Janet out of the reception area through a sea of sympathetic smiles and nods.

"I shouldn't have risen to that guy's bait," Janet sighed once she and the policeman were alone in the room. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," the police office replied. "If it was me I'd have kicked his teeth in. But that's off the record."

"Understood," Janet said with a nod and a quiet chuckle. "What- what's happened to Ellie? I heard from one of her friends that she was assaulted, that someone hit her with a bottle-"

"I will give you all the details that I know so far if you want them," the policeman replied. "But first things first, let me introduce myself properly, my name's PC Martin Roberts, this is just an informal chat so I can get a bit of information about what's happening. From what I understand, Ellie's been living with you for the past few months, right?"

"Yeah," Janet replied. "Around six months-ish. We were- we were introduced by a mutual friend, Ellie was kicked out by her parents after she came out as transgendered and I had a spare room, so... Yeah. We're not doing anything, you know, improper or anyt-"

"I never said you were," PC Roberts replied. "You're not the one in any trouble here, if anything, it's good that Ellie had someone to fall back on. Though I'd like to know who this 'mutual friend' is, whether or not they can give me any more background on the situation?"

"I doubt it," Janet said, taking a deep breath before smirking. "She- she's Steph Abbott, Stephanie Abbott, from the band 'Out of Heaven'. Dunno if you've heard of them?"

"...Actually, my stepdaughter's a huge fan," PC Roberts chuckled. "She's been pestering me for tickets to see them for ages. Small world, heh. So for the last six months, you've been Ellie's legal guardian?"

"Yep," Janet sighed. "We- we kinda have an 'informal' relationship that way, we both see it more as living with a friend than any proper 'parental' relationship, but- it- it's kinda complicated."

"Okay," PC Roberts shrugged. "Well that's all the information I really need if it's that straightforward. My colleague's going to be taking a preliminary statement from Ellie once she's up to it, and if she's not, it can wait until she's out of hospital. Once that's done, I'll take you to see her."

"Thanks," Janet whispered. "Do- do you know yet who did this to her?"

"We've had a couple of positive IDs from other people at the party," PC Roberts said, solemnly nodding his head. "But it's Ellie we really need to talk to, we need her to be the one to press charges."

"I'll make sure she does," Janet said firmly. "This sort of thing can't be tolerated."

"I'll let the two of you talk about that," PC Roberts said softly, before smiling as another police officer, a woman in her mid-twenties, poked her head around the door.

"She's in recovery," the policewoman said. "We can take you to her now." Janet didn't need to be told twice and immediately sprang to her feet, following the young woman to the busy hospital ward, where Janet immediately spotted Ellie laid in bed with a thick, blood-stained bandage covering the back of her head.

"J- Janet?" Ellie asked in a quiet, timid voice, before bursting into tears as the older woman gave her a gentle, tender hug.

"Oh god, Ellie..." Janet sighed, barely suppressing tears of her own. "Who did this to you? Do you know who it was? Whoever it is, they NEED to be punished to the fullest extent of the law." Janet bit her lip as the colour suddenly drained from Ellie's face. "What- what is it?"

"I- I know who it was," Ellie mumbled, desperately trying to avoid Janet's gaze.

"...Well who was it?" Janet asked.

"It- it was Ethan," Ellie whispered. "It was your son."

"Hey," Monique whispered as she poked her head around Ellie's bedroom door. "Me and Kace are here, we was wondering, you know, how you were feeling today?"

"I'm fine," Ellie mumbled into her pillow, not even opening her eyes to look at her friend.

"Okay," Monique replied, nodding her head as she realised that her presence in the room was not welcome. "We- we'll be outside if you, you know, wanna get up..." The dark-skinned girl sighed as she led Kacey back into the flat's living room, where Janet waited with a look of anticipation on her face.

"...Nothing," Kacey sighed, making the 43 year old woman groan in frustration.

"It's been a week," Janet said quietly. "I know she won't get over this overnight, but- but I'd have hoped for SOMETHING by now. She's barely moved since she got back from hospital, even after she got her stitches taken out. She hasn't even showered, or put on any make-up..."

"We're as worried as you," Monique assured the older woman. "We're a team, you know? We want our Ellie back."

"I think you might be waiting a long time for 'your' Ellie," Janet sighed. "Go on, sit down, I'll make some coffee."

"Thanks," Kacey whispered as she and Monique crashed onto Janet's plain sofa while the middle-aged woman headed into the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

As the kettle boiled, Janet found herself once again reliving the hellish moment when she was told that Ellie was in hospital- and the even more hellish moment when she found out who had put her there.

In the days following the assault, Ellie had given her statement to the police, but had refused to commit to pressing charges despite the officers trying to persuade her. Janet knew immediately why this was, which only made her dilemma worse. If Ellie had been assaulted by any random teenager, she wouldn't have hesitated to help Ellie file as many charges to ensure that the boy would be locked away for as long as possible. But the attacker wasn't any random teenager- he was Janet's own son.

How Ellie and Ethan had come to be in the same room together remained a mystery to Janet, but she was convinced that it couldn't be mere coincidence that out of all the boys at all the parties Ellie had attended, he had been the one she'd chosen to hook up with. Ellie had to have known or been told Ethan's identity, put two and two together and link him to Janet, which meant that- in Janet's mind, at least- she was indirectly responsible for Ellie's assault. The fact that Ellie hadn't been able to look Janet in the eye in the days following the assault only reinforced Janet's suspicions. And Janet knew that worse was to come. Even if Ellie didn't press charges herself, there was still the possibility that the Crown Prosecution Service may proceed with a prosecution of their own, and as Ellie's legal guardian, Janet would be obliged to accompany her to court- meaning that the first contact she'd have with her family in almost eighteen months would be on opposite sides of a courtroom.

Janet was trapped between a rock and a hard place- if she convinced Ellie to drop charges, she'd be letting not just her down, but every transgendered person who'd ever suffered violence at the hands of another person. But if she convinced Ellie to press charges, she could very well be sending her son- her own flesh and blood- to prison, something the eighteen year old boy almost certainly wouldn't be able to deal with. Not to mention tarring him for life as a violent, transphobic criminal, which alone would kill virtually all working ambitions that Ethan had. Janet wished she could turn the clock back and convince Ellie not to go to the party in the first place... And silently, in her darkened room, Ellie wished that as well.

Ellie knew all too well the position that she'd put Janet in, which was why she'd declined to press charges. If Janet had any chance of reconciling with her family, Ellie couldn't destroy them by going ahead with charges against Ethan. She could write off the incident as a moment of panic, a spontaneous reaction that anyone could have had... But that just made Ellie feel even worse. If what she felt was true, then it meant that literally anyone she spoke to could potentially attack her without warning. Ellie was accepting that she would forever be a walking target- and she too felt that she was letting down every transgendered person who'd ever suffered violence at the hands of another person. Her scar might have been on the back of her head, where it could easily be hidden with hair, but it was still one more scar than she deserved to have.

Ellie wished she could forget the whole thing, but every time she closed her eyes, she found herself reliving the assault in her mind over and over again, feeling the glass tear into her skin and the terrifying feeling of losing consciousness and being totally at the mercy of her attacker. She wanted to go back to being the fun-loving Ellie that Monique and Kacey liked hanging out with, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't muster up the strength to even look at them when they visited. She wouldn't blame them if they chose to leave and never return- the way she felt, Ellie didn't want to spend any time with her either.

Half an hour after Monique and Kacey arrived, Ellie finally rose from her bed to head to the toilet, but as she emerged into the living room, she was surprised to find that her two friends were still sat on the sofa talking with Janet.

"Oh, hi Ellie!" Janet said, trying to suppress her relief at seeing Ellie up and about for fear of embarrassing her teenage ward. "Fancy a cup of tea?"

"Um, please," Ellie mumbled. "What are you guys still doing here?"

"We was waiting for you to get up!" Monique replied with a snort of laughter.

"They've been filling me in on what you missed last week, at college," Janet explained. "Do- do you think you'll be able- okay, I mean, to go back on Monday?"

"...I dunno," Ellie sighed. "I just- I just need to use the toilet. You don't have to stay if you don't want to..."

"Why?" Kacey asked. "How long are you gonna be in there?" The two girls on the sofa tried to suppress their laughter so as to spare Ellie's feelings as the blonde girl's cheeks began to flush, but when Ellie herself giggled, Kacey let out an internal sigh of relief that her teasing had been taken for the friendly gesture that it was.

"We ain't going anywhere," Monique said defiantly. "You're our friend. We want the old Ellie back, you know?"

"...You might be waiting a while for that," Ellie sighed. "The 'old Ellie'... Ugh. I dunno. Maybe she's never coming back."

"Well like I said, we'll wait," Monique said, bringing a smile to Ellie's face for the first time in a week.

"You REALLY don't have to if you don't want to," Ellie said.

"Well then we obviously DO want to, as we're not going anywhere," Kacey said. "And make sure you wash your face while you're in there!"

"I- I have to be careful around my stitches..." Ellie mumbled.

"I said 'face', not 'hair'," Kacey replied. "That face has gone far too long without having any make-up on it!"

"And you're, like, covering almost ALL of your thighs!" Monique chuckled. "Next thing you know you'll be wearing jeans instead of a miniskirt!"

"And we definitely can't allow THAT," Kacey said, smirking as the corners of Ellie's lips began to curl upwards.

"I dunno," Ellie sighed.

"We- we won't push you if you don't want us to," Janet announced, making Ellie smile. "Go and get yourself washed, we'll still be here." The three women smiled as Ellie headed into the bathroom to wash her face, before letting out a collective sigh once the door was shut.

"...We do, like, need to push her a bit though, don't we?" Monique asked.

"A bit," Janet conceded. "But we need to let Ellie come to us. And besides... I'm kinda worried that she thinks that it was being, well, 'overtly' feminine that caused this in the first place."

"What do you mean?" Kacey asked.

"Well, you know, her personal style," Janet replied. "It literally screams 'girl'. Like you said, she'd never be seen dead in a pair of jeans, even if it is a pair of girls' jeans."

"I think I get what you mean," Monique said. "She doesn't, like, want to lead anyone on?"

"Exactly," Janet sighed. "Which leads to only one conclusion- she blames herself for the attack."

"Or she's worried that any guy she hooks up with will do the same or worse to her," Kacey mumbled.

"Oh trust me," Janet said with a long, heavy sigh. "Every T-girl worries about that. And not just about potential romantic partners too, but about friends... Family, even." Janet frowned as the mood in the room instantly darkened and a nightmarish thought entered her mind. If Ethan was capable of violence toward a total stranger, there was nothing to say that he wouldn't have assaulted Janet the same way if they had randomly met.

The three women's thoughts were interrupted when Ellie emerged from the bathroom, and they quickly forced smiles back on their faces that the blonde girl instantly saw through. She knew that being around her made them uncomfortable- but she also knew that it meant that the fact they stayed meant that they were friends that Ellie could truly count on. Ellie had had friends in the past who had only been her friends because she'd had a big house, or because she'd had the latest videogame console, only to remove their friendship once a richer 'friend' with a bigger house or a newer videogame console came along. The fact that Kacey and Monique had stuck around when Ellie was at her lowest possible point, when they would have every reason to walk away, was further proof to Ellie that they were true friends- and that she needed to try her hardest to ensure that they stayed her friends.

"H- hi," Ellie said with a nervous wave. "So, umm... Did you say 'makeover'?" Ellie smiled as her friends immediately sprang into action, retrieving her make-up drawer from her bedroom and setting up a makeshift vanity.

Janet watched with a proud smile as Kacey and Monique set about giving Ellie her makeover, but inside, she knew that it was just the first step of many on Ellie's road to recovery, and that there would be several backward steps along the way as well. Janet's stomach began to churn as she remembered that the following day, she herself would be taking one of those steps on Ellie's behalf- and there was every chance that it would be a backward step for everyone.

The following morning, after ensuring that Ellie was happy being left in the company of Kacey and Monique (who had brought with them several old clothes to exchange with Ellie in an attempt to cheer her up), Janet shut her front door behind her and let out a low, pained moan. What she was about to do was necessary, but that didn't stop it from being deeply unpleasant.

On the two tube rides, Janet mentally prepared what she would say to the woman she was about to meet. The last time they'd met, Janet had been threatened with legal action if they ever spoke again, and it had been made clear that the woman no longer cared about Ellie's well-being. However, Janet felt it was her duty to inform her of what had happened- after all, whether she liked it or not, Sharon was Ellie's mother.

"Hang on, I'm coming," Sharon said politely as Janet knocked on the door. However, her good nature vanished as she answered the door and was confronted with Janet's immaculately made-up face. Rather than say another word, Sharon simply tried to slam the door shut, but was prevented from doing so by Janet's large hand.

"Hear me out, please," Janet said calmly.

"I told you I'd call the police if you ever came round here again, you pervert!" Sharon spat, causing Janet's tension to rise. However, Janet would not allow herself to be riled so easily- not when she had such bad news to deliver.

"You need to listen to me," Janet insisted. "There's something I need to tell you. It's about Ellie."

"I don't know anyone called 'Ellie'!" Sharon growled. "LIAM is dead to me!" Janet felt something inside her mind snap at the other woman's insult. How dare she say that about her own flesh and blood? How dare she so casually dismiss her responsibilities as a parent? Before she could calm herself, Janet found her mouth opening and unprepared words spilling out of it.

"Yeah, well you nearly got your wish!" Janet spat. "Ellie was the victim of a violent assault a week ago. She could've lost her life." Janet only had one expectation from the other woman- and that was for her to scream 'good' and finally slam the door, proving once and for all that she was the least fit parent in the entire world. However, Sharon did something that surprised, even startled Janet- she paused and contemplated the words that had just been said.

"What happened?" Sharon asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

"She was-" Janet began, before pausing. If she told Sharon who exactly it was who had attacked Ellie, it'd undoubtedly make matters worse- or worse for Janet in the short term, at the very least. "She was at a party, she was flirting with a- a boy. She told him she was transgendered, he hit her in the back of the head with a bottle. If you want to see her, I'm sure she'd like that- if, umm, if..."

"I need to think," Sharon said in a cold voice. "Please leave."

"Okay," Janet whispered. Sharon had asked politely, so Janet wasn't going to say no. However, she wasn't about to allow Sharon to sever all lines of communication again, so before she left, she fished around in her handbag for a pen and a piece of paper, and quickly jotted down her contact details. "In case you want to call. Ellie will be home most of the day. She's very- very shaken, very introverted after the attack."

"Liam was never an extrovert," Sharon whispered, taking the piece of paper from Janet. "Thank you."

"Call me any time," Janet said, letting out a long sigh as Sharon shut the door. The meeting hadn't exactly been a resounding success, but it had gone better than Janet had expected- though that was only because she'd had to tell Sharon that her firstborn child had nearly suffered life-threatening injuries.

On the tube ride back to her flat, Janet pondered whether or not she should tell Ellie about the meeting. On the one hand, it could be encouraging to Ellie to know that her mother was still thinking about her- but on the other hand, she didn't want to get Ellie's hopes up, not when she was in such a delicate state.

When Janet arrived back at the flat and saw that not only was Ellie interacting with her friends in a game of Mario Kart, but actually laughing and clearly having a lot of fun, her mind was made up. The potential for a step forward for Ellie was there, but so was the potential for a step backward, and that was too high a price to pay when Ellie was finally moving in the right direction. However, the guilt about keeping Ellie in the dark stayed with Janet for the rest of the day, and right up to the following morning when she got ready for work and Ellie readied herself for her first day back at college- preparations which, much to Janet's relief, included a full face of make-up and a skirt that fell several inches above Ellie's knee.

"You're sure you're ready for this?" Janet asked the young woman as she grabbed her coat and got ready to head out. "Because I can call work and-"

"I'm sure," Ellie replied. "It's not like- well, you know who's gonna show up at the college, right? Can't hide here forever."

"Okay," Janet whispered. "But if anything happens, you call my boss and she'll let me know, okay?"

"Will do," Ellie said. "What's her name again, Kelly, Kerry?"

"Kelly, Kelly Cowley," Janet replied. "Best boss I've ever known."

"Cool," Ellie said quietly. "So, umm, see- see you later, Janet."

"See you," Janet whispered, letting out a long sigh as she closed the front door behind her. Despite Ellie's reassurances, Janet still felt like she was failing the blonde girl- again- by leaving her to her own devices and heading to work. Janet knew that Ellie was in extremely good company, and that Kacey and Monique would never allow any harm to come to her, but the further away from the apartment she went, the more her anxieties increased.

By the time Janet arrived at her place of work, her nerves were virtually shredded- and it was beginning to show.

"H- hi, Janet," Shannon said nervously. "How- how's Ellie?"

"Oh, she- she's fine," Janet replied, secretly wishing that she knew the answer to that question herself.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked. "Because I know if it was me, going back to college after just a week away, I'm not I'd be able to just walk back in with-"

"I'm sure," Janet insisted. "...No, I'm not sure. But Ellie is. Well... She says she is, anyway. And I'm really not sure that she is. But she's got to get back to normal someday, might as well be today, right?"

"I hope they find the little bastard who did this to Ellie and throw a whole library at him, never mind just a book," Meredith snorted, making Janet internally grimace again as she hadn't told her friends exactly who had attacked Ellie, and with any luck, she'd never have to. However, that didn't stop them from forming their own opinions about what punishment Ethan deserved. Janet appreciated her friends' impartial take on the situation, but that didn't stop her from feeling guilty every time she found herself agreeing with them...

----------

"Hey Ell!" Monique said as Ellie sat down behind her in her usual bus seat. "Looking good today... Are you sure you're ready for this, though?"

"I'll be fine," Ellie replied. "I want to put this behind me. FAR behind me."

"I'm glad," Kacey said. "Though we're not gonna go to any parties until you, you know, feel up to it. Doesn't feel fair."

"Oh- no, what's not fair is you not having fun 'cause of me," Ellie retorted.

"Nuh-uh," Monique said. "We're a trio. We wouldn't have any fun without you anyway."

"Seriously, you two..." Ellie sighed, before smiling. "Thanks. I'll try to get, you know, back to normal soon. I promise."

"Don't rush on our account," Kacey said. "Kinda feeling partied out after the last few weeks anyway, heh!"

"Kace is actually 45, she just looks younger!" Monique teased, giggling as Kacey replied with a playful shove- but both girls were soon sporting wide grins as their antics brought a smile to their blonde friend's face.

A short while later, the three girls arrived at their college, where Ellie was personally greeted by her tutor, whose look of concern immediately put the transgendered girl on the defensive.

"Hey Ellie," Darren- the tutor- said in his light camp voice. "Good to see you back today. You sure you're ready for this?" Ellie's two close friends both let out quiet chuckles as Ellie let out a long, exasperated moan.

"I will be if people don't keep asking me that!" Ellie sighed. "Honestly, I'm fine. I want to get back to normal. Soon. Please?"

"Glad to hear it," Darren said with a quiet giggle. "Though if you need anything, any time to yourself, just let me know, I'll make sure it happens, okay?"

"That'd be nice," Ellie whispered, smiling as Darren led her to her class.

For the first time in a long time, Ellie found her confidence returning as she walked the short distance to her class. Even though everyone was walking on eggshells around her, they were all unconditionally supportive, which was what she needed the most- knowing the support was available, even if she didn't want to make use of it unless it was absolutely necessary. She had to learn how to stand on her own two feet again, and was determined to do so by herself. However, she was also determined not to do anything to drive her friends away, and she saw swallowing her pride and letting them help her as a very small price to pay.

Ellie found this to especially be true during lunchtime as she entered the college's dining hall to discover that Monique and Kacey weren't the only ones sat at her usual table.

"Hey Ell!" Monique said as the other four diners- all of whom were tall, attractive young men- made space at the table for the blonde girl to sit down.

"H- hi," Ellie said nervously as she grabbed a chair from a nearby table and, after positioning it in the gap that had been made for her, elegantly lowered herself into it, making sure that her skirt covered as much of her legs as possible.

"These four are Gary, Jonah, Wayne and Tom," Kacey said, introducing the young men one by one. "They heard that you were back today and, well- I'll let them explain."

"We heard what happened at- well, you know," Gary- who seemed to be the boys' leader- said. "And we wanted to know if there was anything you needed, anything we could do?" Not crowd me in, for starters, Ellie thought to herself as she felt her panic levels begin to rise.

"I'm fine, really," Ellie whispered, grimacing as she caused an awkward silence to fall over the table.

"Well- okay," Gary said, taken aback by Ellie's cold attitude. "We just, you know, want to help, we're not coming on to you, honest- unless, you know, you want us-"

"I said I'm fine," Ellie snapped, before grimacing and letting out a long sigh. "I- I'm sorry, it's just- I'm sorry."

"I think Ellie kinda needs a bit of space," Kacey said hesitantly. "And right now... Yeah, not much space?"

"Well, okay," Gary said, the frown on his face making it clear he wasn't happy about being evicted from the table. "Facebook us if you change your mind." Ellie felt her cheeks flush as the four young men stood up and walked away, each of them wearing a sour look on their faces.

"Ell, Gary was proper into you!" Monique whispered once the boys were out of earshot. "He's kinda like, you know, into the whole 'knight in shining armour' thing, he'd have been a great boyfriend!"

"I guess," Ellie shrugged. "I'm just- I'm just kinda not interested right now, you know? And I- I'd be too scared to be alone with a boy anyway..."

"Ugh, Ell," Kacey sighed. "We- we're sorry, we thought this'd help, I mean, you look back to your old self on the outside, the make-up, the short skirt... Guess it's gonna take more than that, huh?"

"A LOT more," Ellie sighed. "And- and I do appreciate what you tried to do, but- no more matchmaking? Please?"

"You got it," Monique said, giving the pained blonde girl's hand a gentle squeeze. "We wouldn't have left you alone with him anyway, you know? Just wanted to introduce you, let you get to know each other... But if that's too much for now, that's fine, we'll take it slower. Oh, but I did get a text from Janet while we was in class, asking if we wanted to come over tonight? Like, for dinner and a bit of Mario Kart?"

"Now THAT I would love," Ellie said, making her friends giggle as she felt her anxieties start to fade.

Rather than head straight home, Ellie waited for her friends at the end of the college day and accompanied them on the bus ride home, but when Ellie opened the front door, she was surprised to find that like at lunch, Janet had unexpected company- but unlike the lunch table, the company was someone Ellie knew, and was very much welcome.

"Hi Ellie!" Stephanie said, rising from her seat and giving the blonde girl a gentle hug. "And hi Monique and... Kacey, right?"

"Umm, yep, hehe!" Kacey nervously replied as she shared a hug with one of her favourite singers.

"What- what are you doing here?" Ellie gasped as she sat down next to the woman she had come to consider her guardian angel. "Ah- wait, ask a silly question, right?"

"Umm... I- I just wanted to see how you were, you know?"

"I'm getting better," Ellie replied, before sighing happily as two other transgendered women emerged from the kitchen- one she'd met before, the other she was only familiar with through social media.

"Oh, hey Ellie!" Nikki said as she handed the blonde girl a mug of warm, sweet tea. "Ellie, I'd like you meet Jacinta Hanley, who's a very good friend of mine, a girl 'like us' and, hopefully, another source of support for you!"

"Hi!" Jacinta said with a nervous wave.

“Hi,” Ellie replied. “Umm, thanks for coming today.”

“It was the least we could do,” Nikki said. “Though if- if we’re crowding you, you will let us know?”

“I’m fine,” Ellie shrugged.

“Okay…” Nikki said hesitantly. “Ja- Jamie-Lee Burke sends her apologies, by the way, she would’ve been here but it’s her wedding on Saturday and she’s obviously kinda busy, heh. I asked Kelly Watson too but she only got back from China last night so is a bit jet-lagged right now.”

“Honestly, I’m okay,” Ellie said defensively, before blushing as she realised that she’d just replied to a question that hadn’t actually been asked.

“O- kay…” Jacinta said, awkwardly biting her lip.

“…I’m sorry,” Ellie sighed. “I just- ugh, I dunno. I’m fed up of everyone asking me if I’m alright.”

“Yeah, but- you’re still, you know, hurting…” Monique mumbled. “We want the old Ellie back, but not, you know, for us, but for you, if you know what I mean?”

“I think so,” Ellie shrugged.

“What your friends are trying to say,” Janet explained, “is that they hope you’ll eventually be able to put this behind you.”

“I know, I know,” Ellie sighed. “And I do appreciate, you know, everyone being concerned… I really appreciate you coming around today.”

“Least we could do, honestly,” Stephanie said softly. “This sort of shit happens far too often to girls like us.”

“It happens far too often to girls full stop,” Kacey said darkly. “Any man who hits a woman deserves to have their balls cut off. Umm, uh- no offence, umm..."

"None taken," Jacinta said with a smile. "And believe me, I agree with you!"

“And it’s not always a man, either,” Nikki said coldly. “I know a girl younger than you who was assaulted by another girl at school, smacked her just above the eyebrow with a stiletto heel. Left a scar and everything. All for the quote-unquote crime of wearing a skirt.”

“Disgusting,” Kacey spat. “Oh, umm, the attack, I mean, not the-“

“I figured,” Ellie said as a dark mood descended over the room.

“Anyway…” Stephanie said, taking a deep breath. “Just because these things happen, it doesn’t mean we need to accept them. I have to block something like fifty people a day from Twitter or Instagram because of some of the comments and messages I get. But I’m not letting that stop me.”

“Same here,” Jacinta said. “Well, maybe not fifty a day, but even one a day is one too many.”

“Not really making me feel better,” Ellie snorted.

“Nope,” Stephanie sighed. “Didn’t think it would. But I don’t want to lie to you, Ellie, the path we’re on isn’t an easy one. You’ve hit a bigger ‘bump’ than any of us have. But you’re still going forward, and you should be proud of that.”

“Sometimes it feels like I’m being carried forward, though, rather than walking by myself,” Ellie said.

“And what’s wrong with that?” Nikki asked. “No one does it all by themselves. I had the help of my fiancée and my family, Steph had her bandmates, Jacinta had her dad, and you’ve got your friends, us included. So if you need to be carried, let us carry you, because we know you’d do the same for any of us in a heartbeat.”

“Too right,” Monique said with a warm smile as Ellie let out an involuntary giggle.

“…Thanks, everyone,” Ellie said, sniffing back a tear as the three older girls began regaling her and her friends with tales of celebrities, fashion, beauty and everything feminine that Ellie adored.

Stephanie, Nikki and Jacinta stayed at the flat until early evening, sharing (and paying for) a takeaway meal with Janet and the three teenagers and listening intently to their stories of college and parties- but not the fateful party that left Ellie with the scar on the back of her head.

Nonetheless, Ellie still had a smile on her face when the trio left, taking her two best friends with them as they went. Janet, however, felt no less anxious than she had at the start of the day, as the conscious decision to avoid talking about the party also meant that Stephanie and her friends left the flat still unaware of Ellie’s attacker’s identity- and Janet herself was as much in need of a friend as Ellie was.

“I, umm, I’m just going to see the girls out to their car,” Janet said, forcing a smile on her face as Ellie nodded. “Steph! Umm, Steph, you got a sec?”

“Hmm?” Stephanie replied. “Sure Janet, what’s up?”

“I, umm… Can we talk a bit more privately, please?” Janet asked, grimacing as the other four young women looked at her quizzically. “Actually, umm, can I get you on Facebook when you get home? This is, umm, delicate…”

“Sure, Janet,” Stephanie shrugged, before giving the older woman a gentle hug and bidding her farewell.

Twenty minutes later, after the takeaway containers had been cleared away, Janet sat down in her favourite chair and smiled when a familiar ‘ping’ came from her smartphone, informing her of a new and expected message.

‘Hey Janet,’ Stephanie’s message read. ‘Just got home, you said you wanted to talk privately?’

‘Yeah,’ Janet replied.

‘I figured this attack would’ve affected you as well as Ellie,’ Stephanie typed. ‘Are you feeling okay about all this?’

‘Not really,’ Janet replied. ‘There’s something you should know- the boy who attacked Ellie was my son Ethan.’ Janet paused before sending the message, cursing the emotionless nature of communicating by text. However, she wouldn’t get the talk that she needed without telling Stephanie one way or another, so with a heavy sigh, she pressed ‘send’, and almost immediately grimaced at the reply that came.

‘OMG!’ Stephanie typed. ‘Your son!? What were they even doing together?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ Janet typed. ‘Somehow they ended up at the same party together, they ended up in the same bedroom together, and I don’t need to repeat what happened after that.’

‘Yeah,’ Stephanie typed. ‘Do you think Ellie knew who she was with before they ended up in bed together?’

‘I don’t they got as far as getting into bed,’ Janet replied. ‘But to answer your question, I don’t know. I hope she didn’t, but I think she did, and worse yet, might have been doing it for my benefit somehow.’

‘Have you talked to your son since the attack?’ Stephanie asked.

‘Nope,’ Janet typed. ‘Nor my wife or daughter. I know it sounds bad, but I’m not looking forward to that.’

‘I can imagine,’ Stephanie typed.

‘I’ve thought about this reunion for ages,’ Janet typed. ‘Never dreamed it’d be under these circumstances.’

‘Do you know for sure that you’ll be in touch with them?’ Stephanie asked.

‘If it goes to trial, I don’t see how I won’t be,’ Janet replied, letting out a gentle sigh. ‘Still, it’s something I have time to prepare for.’

‘Well if you ever need a friendly ear, you know where to find me,’ Stephanie typed, bringing a tear to the middle-aged woman’s eye.

‘Thanks,’ Janet replied. ‘Sometimes I feel like such a shitty parent. I’m supposed to be the adult, the mature one and yet here I am asking for advice like a teenager, lol.’

‘There’s nothing shameful about needing someone to talk to no matter how old you are,’ Stephanie reminded Janet. ‘Any time you need help, just ask. Will be thinking of you, Janet.’

‘Thanks,’ the 43 year old woman typed, before sighing as Stephanie logged out of the website and left Janet alone with her thoughts.

Janet found herself dreading the impending confrontation with her family. While she had accepted that it was an inevitably, she still held out a vain hope that when she did speak to her wife again, it would be in a mature and adult way, rather than the angry tones they had exchanged the last time they spoke face-to-face. After all, Janet had spent the afternoon in the company of six women far younger than her, and despite the occasional excited giggle, they had all conducted themselves like mature young ladies. From their example, Janet felt that there was no reason that she and her wife couldn’t have a calm, adult conversation- despite the history that existed between the two of them…

The following morning, Janet and Ellie got up at their usual times, ate their usual breakfasts and followed their usual morning routines, heading to work and college respectively as though the events of the previous few days hadn’t happened. However, both women were anxious as they prepared themselves for the day ahead, and as hard as they tried, they weren’t able to hide their anxiety from their friends.

“Umm, hi Janet!” Meredith said with an obviously forced smile as they pinned their name badges to their uniform blue blouses. “I saw that you had a few house guests last night, you know, from Ellie’s friends’ Instagram, they seemed pretty excited to be around Steph again, heh! Though I’ll admit I’d probably be excited, I wouldn’t be able to keep it OFF of Instagram, and I don’t even have an Instagram, so that should say something about how excited I’d be!”

“Were they- umm, were they round because of, well, you know…?” Shannon hesitantly asked.

“…I figured it’d cheer Ellie up,” Janet shrugged. “And it did. And I figured it’d cheer me up as well.”

“…And did it?” Shannon asked.

“Briefly,” Janet sighed. “Thing about the- well, what happened to Ellie was that you’d think it couldn’t get any worse, but for me at least, it can.”

“How?” Meredith asked. “I mean, the court case is going to be a straightforward one, right? Ellie gives her evidence, they throw the book at the little bastard who assaulted her, everyone who deserves a happy ending gets one, right?”

“Yeah…” Janet grimaced. “Though I- I wonder about, you know, the family of the boy who assaulted Ellie, I mean, he’s only eighteen, it was a stupid, drunken one-off-“

“Doesn’t matter!” Meredith snorted. “If they were that concerned about the little shit they should’ve raised him better!” Janet forced herself to nod in agreement with Meredith’s impassioned rant, but her insides churned with every word she heard- because she knew that Meredith was right, and she knew that she had to shoulder a lot of the blame for Ethan’s attitude. Janet had been tormenting herself every second of every day with the thought that she could have done more to prevent Ellie’s assault, that a simple word or action could’ve set Ethan on a different, more tolerant path- and could even have kept her children in her life after she began her transition.

Including Ellie, Janet had raised three children, and she couldn’t help but feel that she’d let all three of them down. However, Janet could ease her guilt with the knowledge that Ellie had two other parents who had let her down far worse than Janet had- and as guilty as she felt for thinking it, Ethan also had another parent who had to accept her fair share of the blame for Ethan’s behaviour. However, Janet knew her ex-wife well enough to know that she would be only too happy to dump all of the blame for Ellie’s assault squarely onto Janet’s shoulders- and that any attempt to confront her would only make matters worse.

However, Janet still held out hope that someday, some way, she might be able to reconcile with her family- her wife included. She accepted that they would never be lovers again, but they were friends long before they were married, and when they separated, Janet mourned the friendship almost as much as she did the relationship. She knew her wife better than anyone else, and knew that if she approached her the right way, they’d be able to talk maturely, as adults, and hopefully resolve the matter before it escalated any further.

Once her shift ended, Janet found herself facing a dilemma. When they were married, her wife worked part-time in an office for a little extra income, her working day ending at 2 o’clock- the same time Janet’s own working shift ended. Janet wanted to speak to her wife, NEEDED to speak to her to straighten matters out, but knew she couldn’t show up unannounced, out of the blue. She needed to approach her wife carefully, delicately so as not to make matters worse. Seeing Janet face to face would inevitably make matters worse- though that went doubly so if the first time they saw each other again was from opposite sides of a courtroom.

With no other option presenting itself, Janet headed to one of the public payphones outside the supermarket and dialled her wife’s phone number. Janet’s home and mobile numbers were both known to her wife, and Janet was sure she would never answer any call coming from those numbers. An unknown number, however, especially one beginning 020, wouldn’t be so easy to ignore…

Janet’s fingers trembled as she dialled the digits of her wife’s number, and paused before pressing the final one. It was a big step she was about to take, and once it had been taken, it couldn’t be taken back. But it was one that needed to be taken, and not just for her sake, but for Ellie’s as well. Janet’s relationship with her biological children might prove to be damaged beyond repair, but she could still do right by Ellie, and she was determined that she wasn’t going to let her down as well. Janet pressed the final digit of her wife’s phone number, and took several deep breaths as the line rang four times before being answered.

“Hello, Lisa Cole speaking,” Janet’s wife answered, warming the transwoman’s heart- she was still using her married name…

“He- hello, Lisa,” Janet said hesitantly. Despite the several months of practice that had changed Janet’s voice into a convincingly feminine timbre, enough of ‘John’s voice came through for Lisa to recognise- and which caused Janet to instantly tense up as she braced herself for the inevitable.

“You,” Lisa snarled. “You have some nerve calling after all this time.”

“We- we need to talk, Lisa,” Janet said, trying her hardest to remain calm.

“You said everything you needed to when you announced to your family that you were abandoning them to flounce around in a dress for the rest of your life!” Lisa spat.

“I did NOT abandon you,” Janet retorted, taking several deep breaths to calm herself. “I couldn’t live life as a lie anymore. Some people are born into the wrong gender, I just happen to be one of those people.”

“You didn’t have any problem living a quote-unquote lie for the first 42 years of your life,” Lisa growled.

“You know that isn’t true,” Janet said firmly, allowing herself a little smirk when Lisa silently conceded the point. “Like I said, you and I need to talk.”

“Yeah, well you’ve chosen a hell of a time for it,” Lisa snorted. “They saying being transgender isn’t an illness, isn’t a disease but it’s certainly diseased this family. Your son- not that you’d care- is facing criminal charges for fighting off a transgendered boy-girl-thing who tried to seduce him!” Janet bit her lip to keep herself from saying something hasty- after all, Lisa had undoubtedly only heard Ethan’s side of events… And she also didn’t know that Janet was the legal guardian of the girl in question.

“…What happened?” Janet asked quietly. “Ethan’s still my child, I still have a responsibility, you still take my child support money, don’t you?”

“Well- fine,” Lisa sighed. “Ethan was at a party, this ‘Ellie’ person, or whatever its real name is, started coming onto him, she forced the issue, he fought her off in self-defence and is now facing charges of assault and battery.” So I raised my son to be a liar as well, Janet thought darkly.

“Was he hurt?” Janet asked, trying her hardest not to smirk as she knew that the answer to her question was ‘no’- which was more than could be said for Ethan’s so-called attacker.

“He was very shaken after the event,” Lisa said stoically. I bet, Janet thought to herself, before mentally chastising herself that this was her own son she was criticising. A son who had violently and without provocation attacked a girl who had rapidly become one of Janet’s best friends- if Ellie’s version of events was to be believed anyway…

Janet shook such cynical thoughts out of her head as she listened to her wife’s tale-. Even if Ellie was embellishing her story slightly- and Janet had no reason to believe that she was- the scar on her head and the night’s stay in hospital were most definitely not made up, and the fact that scar was on the back of Ellie’s head was all the proof Janet needed that it was not inflicted in self-defence. That, and the fact that Ethan was considerably taller and stronger than Ellie.

“…What about the girl?” Janet asked.

“What ‘girl’?” Lisa snorted. “If you mean the thing that tried to attack Ethan, she got everything she deserved.” As hard as she tried, Janet could help but feel something snap in her brain at Lisa’s callous remark. How dare she intimate that Ellie deserved to be assaulted, just for being transgendered? How dare she approve of such a heinous act? And how dare she call Ellie- and by extension, all transgendered people- a ‘thing’?

“Bullshit,” Janet snarled. “You are talking so much bullshit it’d be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.”

“I beg your pardon?” Lisa spat.

“’Got everything she deserved’?” Janet sneered. “So she deserved to have a beer bottle smashed over the back- the BACK of her head, did she? She deserved to spend a night in hospital? She deserved to be left with such crippling PTSD she may never be the same again? I bet you wouldn’t be so willing to say that to Ellie’s face!”

“…How do you know her name?” Lisa asked. Ohhhh fuck, Janet thought to herself as her insides began to churn again. Janet could see only one way out of the whole she’d inadvertently dug for herself- even though she knew it would cause more problems than it would solve.

“…Because I am Ellie’s legal guardian,” Janet said stoically. “I have been since late last year.”

“You- oh my-“ Lisa stammered, before letting out a sneer of absolute disgust. “So you’re a paedophile as well as a pervert, then? I should’ve guessed, really.”

“HOW DA-“ Janet snapped, before taking a deep breath to calm herself. “How dare you say that to me. I have never, NEVER acted improperly to Ellie, we live together because neither of us have anywhere to go because the people who claim to love us abandoned us simply for being who we want to be. A friend arranged for us to live together and that is all.”

“Whatever,” Lisa spat. “We both know the truth.”

“Yeah, we do,” Janet retorted. “That Ethan is a transphobic thug who bottled a girl simply for being born with the wrong equipment.”

“Fuck you,” Lisa spat, the bile dripping from her voice. “If you ever call this number again I’ll have you arrested for harassment.” Janet let out a long, pained moan as her ex-wife slammed the phone down. Despite her best efforts, her anger had got the better of her once again, and her attempts to smooth things over had somehow ended up making things worse than they already were. Janet could take away one positive from the conversation- that it won’t come as a shock to her family when she enters the courtroom at Ellie’s side- but that was small comfort compared to the knowledge that her wife and her children inevitably hated her more than ever…

When Janet arrived home, she was surprised to find that Ellie had arrived home before her and was sat on the sofa fiddling with her phone, blissfully unaware of the phone call that had caused Janet so much stress.

“You’re late home,” the blonde girl mumbled.

“Yeah, sorry, had a couple of errands to run,” Janet replied. “Good day at college?”

“It was okay,” Ellie shrugged.

“But- but was it better than yesterday?” Janet asked, breathing a sigh of relief as Ellie smiled.

“Definitely,” Ellie said with a smile. “Think people are finally, you know, getting used to it, they’re not treating me like I’m made of glass or something.”

“I’m glad,” Janet whispered. “Ellie, we- you know we’re going to have to talk about what happens next, right? You’ll need to go to court, and as Ethan’s over 18 it’ll be an adult court, and-“

“I know,” Ellie mumbled. “Janet, I- I still don’t think I should press charges. I- I don’t want to do this to you, put you through this, I- I just- ugh.”

“Ellie,” Janet said softly. “Ethan made a mistake. A BIG mistake. A criminal mistake. He should face the consequences for this.”

“You- you’re not saying you hope he goes to prison, are you?” Ellie asked.

“No,” Janet replied, shaking her head. “But he can’t get away scot free. He must receive SOME punishment, or he- and many others- will think it’s okay to do what he did. And you know deep down that it was NOT okay, not even slightly.”

“I know,” Ellie mumbled. “But- I- I don’t know…”

“It’s okay,” Janet whispered. “Whatever you decide, I’ll support you.” Because that’s what a parent should do, Janet thought to herself.

The two women enjoyed a quick dinner in front of the television before settling down for the evening, with Janet researching legal procedures on her tablet computer while Ellie worked on her coursework. Just after 6:30pm, though, the two were interrupted by a knock on the front door.

“…Are you expecting Kacey or Monique tonight?” Janet asked.

“No…” Ellie replied with confusion as she stood up to answer the door. “Are you expecting Steph to drop by again?”

“Doubt it, somehow,” Janet replied with a smirk, which quickly vanished when Ellie opened the door and she could see who was on the other side.

“Hello, JOHN,” Lisa said with a deep scowl on her face.

“…I assume by ‘John’ you mean me,” Janet replied. “Even though that is NOT my name. Ellie, I’d like you to meet Lisa, my ex-wife.”

“Oh, so YOU’RE Ellie,” Lisa sneered as the teenaged girl began to cower. “You’re the reason my son’s being treated like a criminal.”

“…Your son IS a criminal,” Ellie defiantly replied, her legs trembling with fear.

“How dare you, you little freak!” Lisa spat.

“And how dare you come into our home and start throwing around insults!” Janet yelled, her temper instantly igniting as she stood up to confront her ex-wife.

“Big talk coming from a man in a dress!” Lisa sneered. “You look stupid, JOHN. Literally no one is ever going to take you for a woman, ever.”

“Get out!” Janet shouted.

“Fine, I will,” Lisa snorted. “I’m sure social services will be VERY interested to hear about this disgusting little arrangement you have here. If anybody deserves to go to prison it’s you, not Ethan.”

“Social services already know about everything that happens in this flat,” Janet retorted. “They’re the ones who approved of this living arrangement. And if you ever show your face around here again, I will have YOU arrested for harassment.”

“And tell me that anyone who does this doesn’t deserve to go to prison!” Ellie snarled, turning around to show Lisa the ugly scar on the back of her head. A tense silence filled the flat, before Lisa turned around and left, slamming the door behind her as she went. Immediately, the two women left in the flat collapsed into their seats, both shaking with fear and on the verge of bursting into tears.

“Oh- god, Janet…” Ellie moaned as the older woman began to sob.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Janet sniffled, before moaning in pain and openly weeping. “No, no I’m not.”

“Do- do you want anything?” Ellie asked.

“No, no, I’ll be okay,” Janet moaned. “It’s just- ugh. Every time I think things are going well, they end up further away than ever. I’m never going to reconcile with my family now, I need to accept that.”

“I’m sorry,” Ellie mumbled.

“Heh, YOU have nothing to be sorry about, trust me,” Janet chuckled.

“No, but- I, umm, I kinda do,” Ellie said, her cheeks burning with shame as tears began to flow from her eyes. “I- umm, at the party, I, umm, I knew who Ethan was…”

“You- what?” Janet asked, trying to control her anger and surprise.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Ellie pleaded as her tears began to flow faster. “A friend introduced us, he said his name and I thought- I- I don’t know what I thought.” Janet remained silent and listened intently as Ellie continued her story. “I thought that maybe, if I talked to him, got to know him, I could bring the two of you together, and I mean, he’s not a bad looking guy, so we kissed a couple of times- I wasn’t going to sleep with him, I swear I wasn’t- and then, well, things happened…”

“It’s okay,” Janet said softly. “You’re not to blame.”

“Wh- what?” Ellie asked.

“You tried to do something nice,” Janet said. “Even if it was a bad idea, your heart was in the right place, and that’s what matters the most. So- thank you, Ellie.”

“You- you mean it?” Ellie asked, black streaks appearing on her cheeks as her tears mixed with her thick mascara.

“I mean it,” Janet whispered. “And I’m sorry that you suffered because you tried to do something nice for me.”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered, before taking a deep breath. “I’ve decided- I want- I want to press charges.” Janet nodded solemnly, before smiling at the younger woman.

“Then I’ll support you,” Janet said, even as it felt like her heart was being torn in half. There was no turning back- Janet was committed to defending her new family against her old one whether she liked it or not. And as much as she hated to admit it to herself, there was a part of her that hoped that the judges came down hard on Ethan…

Throughout the rest of the week, life gradually returned to normal for the two women. Ellie made her intention to press charges known to the CPS, who began preparing the prosecution on her behalf, while Janet spoke to police about her ex-wife’s uninvited visit to her home. Janet was offered the chance of a restraining order against Lisa, but turned it down- after all, Ethan would need the support of his mother at the trial just as much as Ellie would need Janet.

Other than looking toward the upcoming trial, it was business as usual for Janet and Ellie- both women went to work and college respectively and settled back into their usual routines, with one exception- when Friday evening rolled around, rather than head home to get ready for a night out, Ellie headed home, where she stayed for the rest of the evening. On this particular evening, though, Ellie’s decision to stay home would provide her with an unexpected- but not unpleasant- surprise.

“Who’s that?” Janet asked as a knock came from the door.

"Umm... Not Monique of Kacey, I know that," Ellie said, her anxiety levels immediately rising at the prospect of another encounter with Janet's ex-wife. "They're staying home too..." With trembling hands, Ellie opened the door, and let out a gasp of shock when she saw who was on the other side.

"Who is it?" Janet asked. "El- Ellie?"

"Can- can I come in?" The unmistakable voice of Ellie's younger brother asked.

"J- Jack?" Ellie asked, tears forming in her eyes. "What- what are you doing here?"

"I, umm, I wanted- I wanted to see you," Jack replied with a shrug, before grunting in frustration as his sister gave him a tight hug.

"Don't just leave him standing out there for god's sake, let him in!" Janet urged as she sniffed back a tear of her own. "But- but why are you here, Jack? Does your mother know you're here?"

"No," Jack whispered. "She thinks I've gone to a friend's house, he- he'll cover for me if she checks up. I found your address from when you went to see mum, I, umm, I just figured I'd drop round.

"You- you went to see my mum?" Ellie asked Janet, who immediately began to fidget. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I- I, umm, thought she deserved to know," Janet mumbled. "I thought if she knew what happened, she might come to her senses and come to see you... Guess I was wrong, I mean, she didn't immediately throw me out, I was able to give her contact details but-"

"It's okay," Ellie whispered. "And- and thank you, for, umm, for trying to do the right thing." Janet grinned and wiped away a sudden flow of tears as she was reminded of her words from three days earlier.

"She hasn't said anything about coming here, though," Jack mumbled. "I only found the card by accident, saw- saw Janet's name, and I only know that 'cause we've been talking on Facebook, like."

"Yeah, of course she didn't bother coming 'round," Ellie snorted. "Bet if you told her you came round she'd have a fit."

"That's why I didn't," Jack shrugged. "But I- I really miss you. And I mean, you know, you, not 'Liam'."

"Thanks," Ellie whispered.

"I always kinda wished I'd had a bigger sister instead of, well, you know..." Jack mumbled, his voice trailing off as he struggled to finish his sentence.

"I wasn't THAT bad as a brother, was I?" Ellie asked.

"Well, umm, no," Jack mumbled. "But you'd have, you know, been better as a sister."

"At least someone in my family realises that," Ellie said with a snort of laughter.

"Is it, you know, difficult?" Jack asked. "Being a girl, I mean."

"It was harder pretending to be a boy all those years," Ellie replied with a smile. "Being a girl, it- it's just natural. It's who I was always meant to be."

Janet smiled as Ellie's demeanour brightened with every word she exchanged with her brother. After all the help Ellie had received from her friends, famous and otherwise, her chats with Janet and her counsellor, what Ellie had needed the most was to talk to her own family. Janet couldn't help but marvel as the moody girl all but vanished, replaced by a happy, giggling teenager. Janet wondered if she was finally, after so many months, seeing the 'real' Ellie- and whether she'd see any more of her.

Eventually, Jack had to leave, but he promised to return- a promise he would keep less than a week later, and at least once every week until the date of the trial, and every time he visited, Ellie felt happier and happier. Her life was finally being put back together- she had true friends that she could count on, her family was beginning to return to her, and she had a guardian in Janet who she knew would do anything for her.

Ellie just wished that Janet could herself find some of the happiness that she was rediscovering.

Janet fidgeted as she sat back down in her stiff, uncomfortable seat. She was immaculately dressed in a smart black skirt suit, a clean white blouse, wrinkle-free light-coloured tights and low heels that matched that her suit. Beside her, Ellie was also dressed smartly, far more smartly than she ever had been in her soft white blouse and knee-length black pencil skirt. With her toned down make-up and her blonde hair clipped back into a ponytail, she was every inch the smart young woman.

Any outsider looking in would have assumed that Janet and Ellie were just like any other mother and daughter- but the two women knew they weren't, and they also knew that everyone else in the intimidating room knew that they weren't.

"Mr. Cole, please rise," the smartly-dressed judge said, and Janet had to fight her initial instinct to rise from her chair. After all, she wasn't 'Mr.' Cole anymore- a decision that had been partly responsible for her being in the court today. Janet glanced over to her side, where her son- a young man she hadn't seen in almost eighteen months- stood up, gripping the desk in front of him to keep his hands from shaking. The young man looked terrified- and as hard as Janet tried to convince herself that he deserved to be stood where he was, she still felt sympathy for her son. For he was still her son, even if he himself refused to acknowledge it- or acknowledge Janet, pointedly not looking in her direction as the judge addressed him.

"You have been charged with one account of assault and battery," the judge said as Ethan's skin grew paler and paler. "On this charge, how do you plead?" Janet found herself blinking back tears as Ethan's hands began trembling uncontrollably. When Janet had been confronted by the boy's mother- her ex-wife- she had been so sure that she would face a fight in the courtroom, that he and his mother would try to pin the whole blame for the assault onto Ellie, but when Lisa had seen the wound that Ellie bore on the back of her head- the scar from which was still present almost three months later- her whole demeanour had changed. All of a sudden, her innocent little boy's story had seemed a lot less innocent. When coupled with the testimony from the other partygoers that fateful night, Ethan's claims of acting in self-defence had grown a lot quieter.

"Guilty, your honour," Ethan replied in a hoarse voice, barely louder than a whisper. Despite her best efforts, Janet shed a tear as she heard her son confess to his crime- and as she felt Ellie's hand gently squeeze hers.

"So be it," the judge said. "As you have entered a guilty plea, I am now prepared to pass sentence. The crime you committed was a horrific one, and one motivated by bigotry, of that there can be no doubt. However, you are still a young man, and you have shown genuine remorse for your crime. As such, I am satisfied that a custodial sentence would not be appropriate on this occasion." Janet felt further tears flow from her eyes as Ethan lowered his head and began to gently weep himself.

"However," the judge continued, "you must answer for your crimes. I hereby sentence you to 300 hours of community service. I am also imposing a restraining order. You are not to travel within 500 metres of Miss Blake, her home or her place of study, and you are to have no contact with her over the internet. Any breach of these conditions will be treated seriously and will see your sentence increase. Do you understand?"

"Yes, your honour," Ethan whispered.

"I suggest that you learn from this experience," the judge advised. "Like I said, you are still a young man, and you have plenty of time to see the error of your ways." Janet listened intently as the judge passed on his advice to Ethan and brought a formal end to the case, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't get her hopes up that Ethan would actually heed the judge's advice. Sure, Ethan would almost certainly never assault anyone ever again, but he wasn't going to suddenly transform into a tolerant person- and the angry look in his eyes as they briefly met Janet's was all the confirmation the middle-aged woman needed.

Janet watched as her ex-wife and her son silently left the courtroom, not even stopping to acknowledge her existence on their way out. What hurt Janet the most, however, was that the final member of her family did acknowledge Janet's presence in the room- and with an even angrier glare than her mother or her brother. Lindsay had been the one person who hadn't immediately rejected Janet when she'd came out, and while she'd never returned any of her calls, Janet still held out hope that she would one day have her back in her life. However, the look on the sixteen year old's face as she left the courtroom made it clear that not only was she firmly on her brother's side, but she placed 100% of the blame for his conviction at Janet's feet.

"Are you okay?" Ellie whispered as the Cole family left the courtroom, snapping Janet out of her funk.

"Hmm?" The 43 year old woman replied. "Oh, umm, yeah, I'm fine. Come on, let's go home, it's way too hot a day to be sat around dressed like this, heh!"

"Ugh, totally!" Ellie giggled, adjusting the waistband of her skirt to let it breathe more as she followed Janet out of the courtroom and into the hot July air of the street outside. Despite the heat, both women wore smiles on their faces as they headed to a nearby coffee shop, partly because their ordeal was now behind them, but mostly because of the person who was waiting for them- a friend that neither of them knew that they had until a few weeks before the trial.

Ethan's decision to not plead his innocence had not been solely down to Ellie showing his mother her scar. A few weeks before the trial, Janet had received a letter from one of London's most expensive lawyers, offering to write to Ethan and Lisa's lawyer on her behalf and, if necessary, represent Ellie at trial- and at no cost to either Janet or Ellie themselves. Janet had been initially hesitant to accept an offer that seemed too good to be true, but a face to face meeting with the person who would be footing the bill convinced Janet to accept the offer- and it was that person whom Janet and Ellie would be meeting inside the coffee shop.

"Hey!" The famous face of Jamie-Lee Milton, model and reality TV star, called as she spotted the two women entering the coffee shop. "I got you two each a drink."

"Thanks," Janet said as she elegantly lowered herself into her chair. "Hope we didn't keep you waiting too long?"

"Only got here a couple of minutes ago," Jamie replied. "My 'chauffeur' is parking the car, heh."

"Cool," Ellie said softly as an awkward silence descended over the table.

"...Okay," Jamie said nervously. "Obviously, I'm interested in how it went today, but if you're not comfortable telling me it's-"

"It's okay," Janet sighed. "He pled guilty, got 300 hours of community service. Didn't get prison, and in a way, I'm kinda relieved, but kinda disappointed, you know?"

"I guess," Jamie shrugged. "Don't even want to imagine what you're going through, but at least you can put it behind you now."

"That's true," Janet sighed. "Thank you so much again for what you did- well, what your lawyer did, heh."

"She is the one who deserves most of the credit," Jamie chuckled. "I've lost track of the favours I owe her now, after all the work she's been doing helping me and my husband to adopt."

"Are- are you any closer to that?" Ellie asked.

"Hopefully by the end of September," Jamie replied with a dreamy smile. "We've got our agency, we're on the waiting list, just waiting for a baby."

"Wondered when you'd start talking about that," Jamie's 'chauffeur' teased as she approached the table.

"Hi Nikki," Janet said as the brown-haired transwoman sat down next to her friend and mentor.

"Hi you two," Nikki replied with a sad-looking smile. "I- I hope today went well?"

"Pled guilty, got community service," Janet replied with a tense grin as she remembered that just over a month earlier, the woman she was talking to had gone through the exact same thing as Ethan.

"Yeah," Nikki said hesitantly. "If it helps, I can tell you from firsthand experience that community service really, really sucks."

"...A little," Ellie shrugged.

"And he won't be allowed to travel abroad until it's all done," Nikki added. "That probably hurts the most for me, me and Sarah were planning on going to America this summer, that's not happening now."

"Ugh, Lisa will NOT like that," Janet sighed. "We- well, they, I guess- when I was with Lisa, we always went to France over the summer holidays, and with Ethan finishing his A-levels and Lindsay finishing her GCSEs, they'd have wanted a special holiday for that."

"I hear Skegness is nice at this time of year?" Nikki suggested, earning a snort of laughter from Ellie, a scowl from Janet and a disapproving look from Jamie. "...Sorry."

"Nope, not your fault," Janet said. "Ethan did the crime, now he has to do the time. I just hope he can learn something from the experience."

"Tolerance, I'd hope?" Jamie suggested.

"Doubt it," Janet sighed. "But like you said, Jamie, we can put it behind us now. Just wish I didn't have to put nearly two decades of family life behind me as well, but there's no point trying to un-burn a bridge."

"I'm sorry," Jamie whispered.

"It's hardly your fault," Janet said with a sad chuckle. "Just do me one favour? When you get that kid of yours, make sure you don't make the same mistakes that I did with Ethan."

"Heh, I'll try," Jamie said. "Honestly though, I'm excited, but I'm also terrified, you know?"

"Yep, that sounds like parenthood to me," Janet said. "You try your hardest, but even that might not be enough."

"Well, I know who I'm going to ask if I need advice in the future."

"What, the woman who destroyed her own family?" Janet snorted.

"I dunno, I think you did a pretty good job," Jamie said firmly.

"With who?" Janet asked. "My convict son or the daughter who hates my guts?"

"With Ellie," Jamie replied, instantly silencing the older woman and bringing tears to her eyes.

"She's right, Janet," Ellie whispered. "And not just 'cause she's famous. I dunno what I'd have done without you."

"...Thank you," Janet whispered, her confidence suddenly boosted again by the simple gesture from her friends.

Jamie and Nikki stayed at the coffee shop for another half an hour, discussing topics such as the former's impending parenthood and the latter's recent wedding, as well as more personal topics such as Ellie's impending assessment for HRT. As they left, Jamie and Nikki reiterated their offer of ongoing advice and support for the other two women, an offer that Janet and Ellie stated they would make the most of if ever they needed it.

As they headed home, though, both women were just happy to be able to put the events of the past few months behind them. Janet would have to move on with her life without her family, but she would be able to move forward, and Ellie looked forward to enjoying her summer holiday safe in the knowledge that she would never have to set foot in a court again, or have to see any other members of Janet's family again. As they changed out of their smart skirts into lighter, more comfortable clothes, Janet and Ellie felt themselves beginning to truly relax for the first time in several months.

Little did either woman know that they had only just begun to deal with the fallout from Ethan's assault on Ellie.

"Well, at least it's all over now," Meredith said as she and Janet got ready to start their shift on the morning after the trial. "I mean, you can move forward, look toward the future, 'cause you're getting more feminine every day, right?"

"I like to think so," Janet replied as she straightened her regulation tights and tried to stealthily adjust her bra. Almost eight months on oestrogen had begun to make subtle changes to her body, but it would take a long time to undo the several decades Janet's body had had to endure the constant onslaught of testosterone. Her breasts had become more tender, but had yet to significantly grow, her skin had become softer, but she still needed to remove hair from it on an almost constant basis, and while her waist had narrowed, her hips hadn't widened, and Janet found herself wondering if her diet was having more of an effect on her body than her hormone treatments. Occasionally, she wondered if her hormone treatments would ever have the desired effect at all...

"I'm pretty certain you are," Shannon said with a nervous smile, earning a happy giggle from the older woman.

"I'm absolutely certain you are!" Meredith said. "You actually look more like a woman then you did when you started. Not that you ever looked like a man, I mean, not as long as I've known you, which is as long as you've worked here, but-"

"Thanks," Janet said, making the younger woman chuckle nervously as she was cut off mid-sentence. "Twelve months from now, I'll be even more feminine, but also twelve months from now, someone in this room will be the new Mrs. Grantham, won't she?" Janet and Meredith both giggle excitedly as their younger friend tried to hide behind her long blonde hair.

"...Yeah," Shannon giggled.

"So..." Janet continued to tease. "How's the wedding planning going?"

"Slowly," the blonde woman sighed. "All we've got is a date, don't have a venue yet, I haven't even started looking at dresses..."

"Ugh, the only reason I'd EVER want to get married is to wear a dress like that," Meredith said. "Something so gorgeous and flowing and moving around me with every step I took... Umm, sorry again..."

"Uh- sorry, are you apologising to me?" Janet asked. "Why, exactly?"

"Well, because, umm, you're the only one of us three who's been married," Meredith said. "And, well, on that day I'm guessing you didn't wear a dress, heh, but, like, you wanted to...?"

"...Yeah," Janet sighed, before smiling as her motor mouthed colleague stared intently at the floor. "But it's okay, really. There's no need to feel bad, I don't mind talking about it. Therapist says it's actually good to talk, to not bury my past away. I was married, now I'm not, that's how it goes sometimes."

"But it won't for Shannon's marriage, right?" Meredith asked, earning a nod of approval from the older woman.

"Absolutely," Janet concurred. "As long as your new hubby doesn't mind us borrowing you for the occasional Friday night post-work drink?"

"He knows who's boss on Friday nights," Shannon said with a confident smirk as she clipped her name badge to her blouse and got ready to head onto the shop floor.

Later that evening, the three women headed to their regular pub and whiled the evening away gossiping about their work, their lives and Shannon's upcoming wedding. As had been the case at every girls' night, with every passing minute, Janet felt more and more at ease, more and more accepted as 'one of the girls'. The contrast with the courtroom was jarring to Janet, and she continued to be amazed by how two effective strangers could show her more love than her own so-called family- but she was determined not to reject her friends' love, nor would she take it for granted.

At the same time, Ellie and her two friends were enjoying a relaxing evening at Janet and Ellie's flat, watching TV and indulging in their own gossip session. As Janet had done, Ellie marvelled at how her friends had shown her more support than her own family, even when the support had come at her friends' expense as they were alone in a flat rather than at one of the many house parties that they had attended prior to Ellie's assault. Monique and Kacey had explicitly stated that they were not interested in attending any more of those parties unless Ellie was able to attend as well. Ellie had been sceptical at first that her friends would be patient with her reluctance for long, but with every passing weekend that passed, she was more and more confident that the two girls were sincere, and that they would never let her down.

To all intents and purposes, Monique and Kacey- and especially Janet- had become Ellie's family. However, there was one member of Ellie's family who hadn't rejected her, and it was this person's impending visit that saw Ellie rise from bed before 9am on the Saturday morning, long before she would normally get up. To Ellie, however, it was no sacrifice, as proven by her wide grin when she opened the door and greeted her visitor with a tight hug.

"Hey Jack!" Ellie squeaked excitedly as her younger brother tried to wriggle out of her embrace.

"Hi Ellie," Jack said, letting out a nervous giggle as he sat down on the sofa next to his sister. "Hi Janet, umm, thanks for letting me come round today."

"Quite alright, Jack," Janet replied with a smile. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Something cold, please!" Jack chuckled. "Roasting out there..."

"Coming right up," Janet said as she headed to the kitchen, smirking as she watched the two siblings interact. Ellie was never happier than when she was with her brother- and Janet couldn't help but observe that Jack seemed equally as happy to be chatting with his sister.

"So then," Ellie said with a giggle. "Only one year of school to go..."

"Heh, yep!" The fourteen year old boy replied. "Seems mental to think that it'll all be done this time next year."

"Know what you're gonna do after school?" Ellie asked.

"Dunno," Jack shrugged. "Best grades are in English, so I might study that. Really dunno yet though."

"Meh, you got time to think about it," Ellie shrugged.

"You going to uni next year?" Jack asked.

"That's the plan," Ellie replied. "Hopefully gonna stay in London. Not that I have any family to stay for, though, besides you..."

"Yeah..." Jack grimaced as Janet returned with their drinks.

"Did I interrupt anything?" Janet asked.

"Just talking about college and uni," Ellie replied.

"Ah yes," Janet said with a grin. "Got to get your application in soon, heh!"

"Yeah, don't remind me," Ellie snorted. "Another thing to worry about..."

"Another thing to look forward to," Janet corrected the young woman. "You'll make new friends at university, have new experiences you never even dreamed of... God knows I did, heh."

"Did- did you go to university?" Jack asked.

"Yep," Janet replied. "Started in 1992. God, that was 25 years ago... It was the first time I'd lived independently, the first time I even got to explore who 'Janet' was."

"Yeah... Think I've had enough 'independent living' for now," Ellie sighed, making Janet frown at her own insensitivity. Janet tried to rack her brains for an explanation or an apology, something to say to make Ellie feel better about her situation, but much to her surprise, it was Jack who spoke up first.

"You're better off with Janet," Jack said, making both women blink with surprise.

"Umm, sorry?" Janet asked. "I mean, I'm flattered, but- what?"

"You know what mum and dad are like," Jack mumbled. "You know how mental they are, you know how mental they'd be if they knew that I was round here seeing you. I can't wait to move out of there."

"Jack..." Ellie sighed.

"I just- I just wish they'd pull their heads out of their arses and let you move back in," Jack moaned. "What does it matter to them if you want to wear a skirt?"

"I- ugh," Ellie sighed. "Wish it was that easy."

"At least you see it as a positive, Jack," Janet said with a smile. "Ellie can point to one member of her family and say 'at least he gets it'."

"Yeah," Jack nervously chuckled.

"Anyway, can we please change the subject?" Ellie moaned. "No point hearing what's happening at home 'cause it's the same thing that was happening the last time you visited and the time before that too. Mum and dad's minds are closed and they aren't opening anytime soon."

"Sure," Jack said with a sigh. "I really, really hope you're wrong, though."

"So do I," Ellie sighed as she switched on the flat's Wii and settled down for an afternoon of videogames with her brother.

Jack left shortly after 3:30pm, leaving both Ellie and Janet feeling relaxed after the stress of the previous few days. Even though Janet had no familial connection to the boy, she too was energised by Jack’s presence, even if it did remind her about her destroyed relationship with Ethan. Janet saw Jack as evidence that being male and having an open mind weren’t two mutually exclusive things, and held out hope, no matter how vain, that Ethan might follow Jack’s example and come to accept her for who she was.

Janet’s hopes, however, would be set further back the following day when she answered her front door and was reminded that bigotry and transphobia were far from an exclusively male thing.

“L- Lisa?” Janet asked, her body instinctively tensing up at the sight of her ex-wife’s furious face.

“Hello, JOHN,” Lisa growled as she barged past her ex-spouse into the apartment, followed by an equally furious face that Janet didn’t expect to see so soon.

“Lin- Lindsay?” Janet asked, instinctively reaching out to hug her daughter, only to frown when the sixteen year old girl pulled away from her with a look of pure disgust on her face.

“Don’t- don’t touch me!” Lindsay spat. “Don’t ever touch me again after what you did to Ethan!”

“What- what I did?” Janet replied, confused by her daughter’s accusation.

“Yes, JOHN, what you did!” Lisa hissed. “Thanks to what happened on Thursday, Ethan has had his place at university- which was a guaranteed place- withdrawn. He had such a bright, promising future, and now thanks to you, it’s in ruins.”

Janet paused and took several deep breaths as she tried to process what she was being told. Ethan had always been a bright boy, in all the top classes at school and destined for a high-paying career in either teaching or finance. However, with a criminal record, those aspirations had been rendered impossible. A feeling of guilt started to well up within Janet- Lisa was right when she said that Ethan wouldn’t have gained a criminal record if it hadn’t been for Janet’s direct influence in encouraging Ellie to press charges. However, it was Ethan’s choice to commit the crime in the first place. If he hadn’t assaulted Ellie, there wouldn’t have been any charges to press, and as he was legally an adult, he alone was responsible for his actions.

“What’s going on out-“ Ellie asked as she emerged from her bedroom, freezing when she saw the two intruders into the flat glaring at her with pure fury in their eyes.

“You little whore,” Lisa spat.

“I- I think you need to leave,” Janet said firmly.

“I hope you’re happy,” Lisa growled, ignoring Janet’s request. “Thanks to you and this bastard my son’s future is ruined.”

“Thanks to your ‘son’ the back of my head is ruined,” Ellie sneered, tossing her hair to one side to show Lisa and Lindsay her scar before disappearing back into her bedroom, where she collapsed down onto her single bed and burst into a flood of tears.

Ellie tried her hardest not to listen to the argument happening on the other side of the wall, but the volume of the three women’s voices left her no alternative. Every angry word, every emotion-filled shout drove home to Ellie the fact that if it hadn’t been for her coming on to Ethan, he wouldn’t have attacked her, he wouldn’t have been convicted and Janet wouldn’t have had to deal with such viciousness from her family. Ellie knew consciously, just like Janet did, that Ethan was responsible for his own actions. Ellie didn’t force him to attack her- at worst, she provoked him, but even he had admitted his own guilt.

Ellie frowned as a feeling of anger began to swell inside her, anger toward Ethan for his vicious assault, but mostly anger toward Lisa and Lindsay. How dare they invade her and Janet’s home and try to belittle them? How dare they blame the victim of a crime for the crime happening? And how dare they state that Ellie and Janet didn’t have the right to live their lives the way they wanted? Ellie felt her hands ball into fists, and with a sense of determination filling her body, she jumped off her bed and opened her bedroom door, only to see that Lisa and Lindsay were already on their way out of the apartment.

“You two disgusting THINGS deserve each other,” Lisa spat. “I don’t ever want to see either of you again!”

“Then try not coming round here in future!” Ellie yelled after the middle-aged woman as she left.

“I used to be so proud to call you my father,” Lindsay said, her voice trembling with emotion. “Now, I- I don’t ever want to see you again either.”

“Lindsay…” Janet whispered as tears welled in her eyes.

“Goodbye, da- Janet,” Lindsay spat as she followed her mother out of the cramped flat and gently closed the door behind her.

“Janet,” Ellie whispered. “Are- are you-“

“No,” Janet sobbed, shaking her head. “I- I think I need to- need to be alone for a bit…” Ellie bit her lip as she remembered that the previous year, when she’d been left alone, Janet had made a very reckless choice.

“I- I’m going to call someone,” Ellie announced. “I’ll see if Meredith’s available, or Stephanie-“

“Don’t go to any trouble on my behalf,” Janet sniffled. “I’ll be fine.”

“No, you won’t,” Ellie mumbled, gently leading Janet to her usual chair before heading into the kitchen to make a hot drink. “We’re the victims here, Janet. Not your family and definitely not Ethan. We’re not to blame here, Janet, You need to remember that.”

“Easy to say when it’s not your fam-“ Janet replied, before sighing as she realised what she was about to say. “…Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Ellie shrugged.

“I thought Lindsay at least might-“ Janet said, before sighing. “…Never mind.”

“When are you seeing your counsellor next?” Ellie asked.

“Tomorrow, actually, after work,” Janet replied. “So don’t expect me home early, heh.”

“Same here,” Ellie chuckled. “Reckon we’re going to have a LOT to talk about, heh.”

“And I’m going to make sure that we do talk,” Janet said. “You need to make sure that you do too."

“Yes, yes, I will,” Ellie said. “And I’m going to ask the same question I’ve been asking for the last year too, heh.”

“You’ll get hormones before long,” Janet said reassuringly. “You’ve got to have shown the right commitment by now. I mean, if I can get the prescription, right?”

“You’d have thought so,” Ellie snorted. But we’ll see. “Just- just make sure you’re okay, okay? Neither of us deserve this.”

“You’re right,” Janet said with a determined nod. “We DON’T deserve this. What we deserve is to be allowed to live life as the women we truly are.”

“Hell yes we do!” Ellie cheered as the kettle boiled and she served herself and Janet each a mug of frothy hot chocolate.

The following day, Janet tried her hardest to maintain her positive attitude throughout a full day at work, distracting herself with Meredith and Shannon’s tales of their lives and taking an interest in each customer that came through her checkout, but deep inside, Lisa’s words continued to eat away at her. By the time Janet left work, her stomach was churning from all the mixed emotions she was feeling- and that didn’t go unnoticed by her counsellor as she walked through her door.

“Hello Janet,” Dr Healy said softly. “Please sit down, I imagine it’s been a fairly hectic week for you?”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Janet groaned, straightening her slender pencil skirt as she sat down. “I’m guessing you want to talk about the trial?”

“It must’ve been an unbelievably stressful situation for you,” Dr Healy said.

“That’s putting it VERY mildly,” Janet said with a snort of laughter. “It was like being torn between two families. I mean, I wanted to do what’s right for Ellie- I have a legal responsibility toward her, after all- but- but Ethan is my son, my own flesh and blood. In the end, we got a result that works for everyone, Ethan avoided prison, but- huh. Didn’t quite work out for everyone.”

“Was Ellie unhappy with the outcome?” Dr Healy asked.

“No, Ellie was okay with it,” Janet replied. “I think. I hope. Ethan got punished for what he did, and that’s okay by Ellie. It- ugh, it’s Lisa that’s the problem.”

“Your ex-wife?” Dr Healy asked.

“Yep,” Janet sighed. “She- she actually showed up at my flat yesterday to send me on a guilt trip, Ethan’s conviction has resulted in him losing his uni place and Lisa puts the blame for that squarely at my feet.”

“I hope you don’t believe what she’s saying,” Dr Healy says firmly. “And I also hope you realise that her behaviour in doing that was totally unacceptable, going round to your home, invading your private space like that could easily be seen as harassment. You could be within your rights to press charges yourself.”

“And make things a million times worse?” Janet snorted.

“I seem to recall you saying that Ellie said the same thing after she was assaulted,” Dr Healy said softly, making Janet pause.

“…Nope,” Janet said, shaking her head. “Lisa said she doesn’t want to see me again, so I doubt I’ll have to worry about her. I really hope I don’t.”

“You sound almost disappointed,” Dr Healy said.

“Maybe I am,” Janet sighed. “I know I am about one thing, when Lisa dropped round, she had Lindsay with her- my daughter. She was just as snotty as Lisa was, and that hurts the most. I’d always hoped that Lindsay would be the one member of my family to- ugh, I dunno why I’d expected that.”

“It’s only natural to hold out hope,” Dr Healy advised. “Lindsay was the baby of your family, she’s the one who generated the strongest parental feelings within you, she’s the one who matters the most, for want of a better way of putting it. I’m not accusing you of playing favourites, I’m just saying it’s a natural reaction of any parent. I’m guilty of it myself- my kids are 18 and 12, and I fuss over the twelve year old a lot more than I do my older child.”

“I suppose,” Janet sighed. “I just- I- ugh. Maybe I’m clinging onto a lost cause too tightly.”

“It can be hard letting go,” Dr Healy said. “In cases like this, when it’s your family, it can be nearly impossible. What you need to remember is to not neglect your own needs or put down your own thoughts or opinions, because they’re just as valid as Lisa’s or Ethan’s or Lindsay’s. And yes, I am referring to your biggest need of all- to be the correct gender. You’re not selfish for needing to live life as a woman, no matter what anyone else says, and you need to remember that.”

“Easier said than done,” Janet sighed.

“That just goes to show what a kind-hearted person you are,” Dr Healy said, bringing a happy tear to Janet’s eye.

Meanwhile, a few miles away, Ellie was deep in conversation with her own counsellor, letting the emotion flow freely from her as she recapped the events of the previous week.

“…And then, yesterday, she actually comes round to our flat just to have a go at us!” Ellie moaned. “I mean- is that even legal?”

“I’m not a lawyer,” Dr Leach- Ellie’s counsellor- replied. “Though I wouldn’t have thought so, not if she solely went there to harass you. How did it make you feel when you saw Janet’s ex-wife?”

“Angry,” Ellie sighed. “Confused, nervous, scared… Everything, really. But mostly angry.”

“What happened next?” Dr Leach asked.

“She actually blamed us for everything that happened,” Ellie snorted. “Like it was my fault I got my head smashed in. And- ugh.”

“Go on,” Dr Leach gently urged.

“And- and for a moment, I actually believe her,” Ellie moaned. “Like I just filled up with guilt, I ran off to my bedroom and- ugh. Bet I sound stupid.”

“Not at all,” Dr Leach said softly. “Not everyone responds to confrontation the same way.”

“I’d rather not have to respond to it at all,” Ellie mumbled.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Dr Leach said. “And you need to understand that what happened with Ethan wasn’t your fault. I repeat: Not. Your. Fault.”

“I know,” Ellie sighed. “Doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty about it, I mean, I DID come on to him…”

“You’re a seventeen year old heterosexual girl and you saw a boy you fancied,” Dr Leach retorted. “Sounds like you did what any other girl in that circumstances would do.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not ‘any other girl’, am I?” Ellie snorted.

“Fortunately, nowadays there are things we can do about that,” Dr Leach said with a wide grin. “I’ve been reviewing your case carefully, Ellie. The way you’ve responded to the hardships over the last year has been admirable, and all throughout, you’ve demonstrated a firm, unwavering commitment to living your life as a female.”

“Are- are you saying?” Ellie asked as her excitement levels rose.

“Yes,” Dr Leach replied. “I am prepared to start you on hormone replacement therapy, effective immediately. I won't even need to clear it with your legal guardian, as you're already seventeen.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” Ellie squeaked, bouncing up and down in her chair with nervous excitement. “You have NO idea what this means to me!”

“Hmm, I might,” Dr Leach said with a smirk. “Don’t forget, you’re far from the first transgendered girl to sit in that chair. Pretty much all of them reacted the way you did too.”

“Yeah, hehe!” Ellie giggled, fanning herself with her hands to try to calm herself down. “Oh my god, this is the best news I have EVER had.”

“I can tell,” Dr Leach said with a warm smile. “Of course, this is just one more step of your journey, there will be plenty more to take.”

“I’m ready,” Ellie said. “I want this. I really, really want this. I- I think I NEED this. Especially after what happened with Ethan.”

“I wouldn’t be prepared to write you this prescription if I didn’t agree with you,” Dr Leach said. “Like I said, you have a long road ahead of you, but I certainly wouldn’t blame you if you celebrated tonight.”

“Oh- oh trust me, I will, hehe!” Ellie squeaked as she tried to process the news.

Ever since she’d first heard of hormone replacement therapy, Ellie had fantasised about the ability to ‘take a magic pill’ and transform herself into a real woman. As she read more into it, she realised that the process wouldn’t be quite as instant, but that didn’t dampen her excitement at the possibility, and even after holding the prescription in her hand, she felt energised by the potential her future held- even if it meant that a bigger wedge would be driven between her and her biological family.

However, Ellie was certain that the prescription would bring her closer to her ‘new family’, and after stopping off at her pharmacy to get her prescription filled, she headed straight home to break the news to Janet. When Ellie opened the door, she was unsurprised to find the older woman sat in her usual chair watching television, and the look on her face immediately told Ellie that her counselling session hadn’t been as successful as Ellie’s was. Nonetheless, Ellie had a wide grin on her face as she kicked off her shoes and dropped her handbag on the table.

“It went well, then?” Janet asked, smirking at the wide grin on Ellie’s face and musing on how rare such a grin was- and how much it suited the teenaged girl.

“Better than ‘well’,” Ellie replied as she removed the small bottles of pills from her handbag. Janet instantly perked up as she recognised the significance of the pills- a sure sign to Ellie that her brother had been right when he said that she was better off living with the older transwoman.

“Is- is that?” Janet asked, before squeaking with excitement as Ellie nodded. “Oh, wow, congratulations! I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks!” Ellie giggled.

“And it’s been a long, LONG time coming,” Janet chuckled. “But take it from someone who knows, once you’re on this path, you’ll never want to go back, hehe!”

“I never want to!” Ellie giggled. “Not for anyone. And certainly not my parents.”

“They’ll have no choice now but to accept you as their daughter,” Janet said. “A few months on that and you’ll be almost unrecognisable!”

“Good,” Ellie said with a smile. “The less of ‘Liam’ that remains, the better.”

“Have you told Kacey and Monique yet?” Janet asked.

"Doing it now," Ellie replied.

"Invite them round tonight," Janet said with a wide, genuine smile. "Something like this deserves to be celebrated!"

"Can do!" Ellie giggled, getting her phone out of her bag and sending messages to her friends, as well as a public post on her Facebook page that quickly got several dozen 'likes'.

A short while later, Janet and Ellie were joined by the latter's two best friends, and the four women spent the evening celebrating Ellie's good news with an expensive takeaway pizza.

"So then," Monique asked between bites of the dish, "how exactly do those pills work?"

"One of them blocks the production of testosterone," Ellie explained. "The other one replaces it in my body with oestrogen."

"I've been taking them for months now," Janet interjected. "The changes are gradual but they are very real. Ellie's skin will get softer, her waist will narrow, her hips will widen..."

"And, yes, I'll grow boobs," Ellie said with a smug grin. "Actual, proper flesh and blood boobs. The only thing missing will be, well, the thing that can't be got without surgery. But after a few hormones, I can go ahead and have that too, hehe!"

"One step at a time, though," Janet cautioned.

"I'm just glad I'm actually finally taking any steps," Ellie chuckled. "Finally feels like things are going right for me, you know?"

"Glad to hear it," Kacey chuckled.

"...And yes," Ellie sighed, "if you guys want to head out somewhere this summer, maybe... I'd be up for that." Ellie smirked as her friends' mouths slowly curled upward into warm smiles- she knew just how patient they'd been with her, and now that she'd had her win, she resolved to reward their patience.

The celebration continued for another fifteen minutes before being interrupted by a knock on the front door. Thanks to some of their recent 'guests', Janet and Ellie's nerves were immediately on edge as the latter slowly opened the door, but they quickly relaxed when they saw who was on the other side.

"Hey Ellie!" Stephanie squeaked excitedly as she exchanged a hug with the seventeen year old girl.

"Hey Steph!" Ellie replied, before smiling confusedly as Stephanie made way for yet more guests. "Oh, hey Nikki!"

"Hi Ellie!" Nikki giggled. "I heard your good news and couldn't not drop round, hehe! Ellie, this is my wife Sarah, Sarah, this is Ellie, the girl I told you about who has FINALLY had the good news she's been waiting for for what, a year now?"

"Just over," Ellie chuckled. "Felt like a hundred years though."

"Trust me, now that you're finally correcting your body, the time will fly by," Nikki sighed happily as Sarah introduced herself to Janet, Kacey and Monique.

"We figured you'd be celebrating," Stephanie explained. "And we couldn't not join in, hehe!"

"I'm afraid we're kinda having a 'junior' celebration today," Janet explained as she poured the three new guests each a glass of a chilled soft drink. "As these three are only seventeen."

"That's okay," Sarah replied. "Probably best we don't drink before tomorrow anyway, heh."

"What's happening tomorrow?" Janet asked as Monique smiled, suddenly remembering something.

"Is- is it the football game tomorrow?" Monique asked.

"Football?" Janet asked. "Really?"

"...Yeah," Stephanie chuckled. "Our manager recently bought a football team, he's having a few of us play a charity match, like, Angels and Out of Heaven and a few friends... It'll probably be even more embarrassing than when I had to play football at school, heh."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Ellie spat. "Rugby was, like, a million times worse."

"What, seriously?" Kacey asked. "Being shoved into a scrum full of fit boys?"

"You didn't go to my school," Ellie snorted. "'Fit' is not the word I'd have used."

"And then you actually have to play rugby," Nikki grumbled. "One good thing about this match is that there'll only be girls on the pitch."

"And by 'girls' we mean 'people whose primary hormone is oestrogen'," Stephanie said. "Which includes everyone in this room!"

"Or will once I start taking the pills," Ellie chuckled.

"Close enough," Nikki said with a smirk. "So... We've still got tickets available for tomorrow if you four want to come along? Steph's treat." Ellie giggled as the famous singer rolled her eyes at her friend's teasing.

"Call it a 'congratulations gift' or something," Stephanie said. "Just a reminder that you have a wider family out there that you're every bit a part of."

"Can we come to an Angel party?" Monique asked, earning a giggle from the singer and her friends.

"...Maybe when you're all eighteen," Stephanie replied. "Don't need your- umm, don't need Janet shouting at me for getting you drunk underage, heh."

"Heh," Ellie laughed nervously as she avoided her legal guardian's gaze. "But the football match would be cool, thanks. Will- will there be any, you know, boys there?"

"And the old Ellie is back!" Monique teased, making the blonde girl blush and giggle as she and her friends continued to celebrate her good news.

The following evening, the four girls headed along to the small football stadium in the west of the city to watch their new friends play their football match. While the action on the pitch didn't quite hold the women's excitement, they all enjoyed getting to meet the celebrities afterward, all of whom welcomed the group like old friends. Ellie also found confidantes in many of the transwomen who played in the match, all of whom had begun their own hormone replacement treatments and all of whom were willing to share advice with the young woman.

As they left the football ground, however, Ellie and her friends paused as the sound of a loud, angry argument filtered through from the car park. They watched in surprise and confusion as many of their new friends rushed past with concerned looks on their faces.

"What's happened?" Janet asked, grabbing Stephanie as she rushed past.

"Ugh, what I worried might happen," the singer replied. "One of our friends- like, mine and Jamie's- came down from Cardiff where he lives to watch the match. Long story short, he's estranged from his parents, who still live in London, and his mum's tracked him down to the stadium."

"Are- are they estranged because- well, you know?" Janet asked.

"That's part of it," Stephanie sighed. "He was, like, born a girl, is now a boy, and his mum won't stop freaking out about it."

"Poor guy," Janet sighed. "Though I know how he feels."

"Yeah, I remember you saying," Stephanie said quietly.

"I hope he'll be alright," Ellie mumbled.

"He will as long as he remembers one important thing," Stephanie says. "That no matter what his so-called 'family' say, his friends will always be there for him, and he is NOT alone. Even if the only way he can talk with us is online, it still counts."

"And you're not just talking about your Welsh friend, are you?" Janet asked.

"Precisely," Stephanie said softly. "'Cause you know I've been where he is. I was lucky to have my family support me. Some people aren't, but that doesn't mean they don't have anyone at all. There'll always be people out there willing to help if you just ask. And I'm really, really glad that you two did."

"Not as much as I am," Ellie said with a smile.

"Or me," Janet whispered, taking a deep breath to control her emotions.

When she'd left her family home after coming out, Janet had thought that her life was over for good. She couldn't imagine life without her wife and children in it, and didn't want to imagine it either. But she soon gained a friend in Stephanie, and shortly afterward, a friend in Ellie, as well as Meredith, Shannon, and even Kacey and Monique. Even when her family went to her flat to confront her, just as the poor young Welshman's mother was confronting him, her friends unconditionally supported her.

Janet and Ellie still had a long road in front of them, but they were both confident that they were heading in the right direction. Janet allowed herself to rely more on her friends, while Ellie's body gradually began to change under the influence of the hormones running through her veins. However, both women knew that life wasn't done setting them obstacles- as Ellie would find out when she returned to college at the start of September...

"Miracles do happen, then?" Janet asked, making Ellie roll her eyes as she walked into the kitchen, her fluffy pink dressing gown wrapped around her to shield her from the morning autumn air.

"So I'm excited about today," Ellie shrugged. "Sue me. And besides, it's not like I shouldn't be eager to get back to college- it's not like my summer holidays have been anything to write home about."

"That's true," Janet said quietly as she gave Ellie her morning cup of coffee. The teenaged girl had found the time to have fun over the summer, but Janet knew it wasn't nearly as much as she should have had- and she knew why that was the case, too.

After the trial, Ellie had made a conscious effort to spend more time out of the flat and with her friends. She, Monique and Kacey made repeated trips to the beach over the summer, to places like Brighton or Eastbourne, where Ellie revelled in showing off her slender frame in a bikini or a cute one-piece swimsuit. Her HRT treatments had yet to make any significant physical changes to her body, but they had greatly boosted her confidence, and she felt increasingly happier with herself- right up until she started talking to a boy.

Throughout the summer, Ellie attracted the interest of countless boys, both on her visits to the coast and while out and about in London. Many of the boys remained attracted even when told (by Monique or Kacey) that Ellie was transgendered, and the blonde girl knew that all of those boys were ideal boyfriend material. They were all kind, friendly and funny... And within 30 seconds of talking to any of them, Ellie felt her entire body tense up, almost as though she was expecting to be assaulted. In Ellie’s eyes, every boy she spoke to, no matter how timid they initially appeared, was a potential attacker, and she genuinely wondered whether or not she’d ever be able to be intimate, or even alone with another member of the male gender ever again.

As tense as Ellie was made by her fear, her main feeling toward it was frustration- especially when compared to the many successes she’d enjoyed over the course of the summer.

At the start of August, Ellie had found herself a small, part-time job in an independent music store in the centre of London. There weren’t many hours each week, even over the summer holiday, and it was minimum wage only, but Ellie didn’t mind- it was still money that she could truly call her own, and moreover, she enjoyed the responsibility- though even with the protection of a counter, Ellie still felt uncomfortable whenever she served a male customer, especially the more attractive ones. That was nothing, however, compared to the anxiety Ellie felt one Saturday in August, when she saw the unwelcome face of Lindsay Cole walk into the shop.

The two girls didn’t exchange any words, and Lindsay only stayed in the shop for a few seconds, just long enough to shoot Ellie an evil stare and leave her feeling terrified as to who else might have known where she worked. Ellie may have had a restraining order against Ethan, but that didn’t apply to the rest of his family, and in Ellie’s mind, was just writing on a piece of paper- if Ethan wanted to breach the order and face the consequences, there was nothing Ellie could do to stop him.

Much to Ellie’s relief, though, the opposite seemed to be true- Ellie didn’t see any trace of him all throughout the summer holiday, and apart from the one incident at her shop, Ellie didn’t see any other member of the Cole family either- with the obvious exception of her legal guardian. Ellie knew that it must have torn Janet up on the inside to side with her against her family, and remained eternally grateful to the older woman. Ellie was especially appreciative of the advice Janet was able to give as her body slowly began to adapt to its new chemical makeup.

At first, Ellie had been frustrated by the minimal, almost non-existent effect the oestrogen was having on her body. Her measurements didn’t change, her breasts didn’t grow and, worst of all, she didn’t feel any more feminine than she had before. However, Ellie knew that Janet had experienced the same frustrations at the beginning of her HRT, and after ten months, her body seemed to grow more feminine with every passing day. Janet had always had more trouble ‘passing’ than Ellie had, but as the months wore on, she grew more and more convincing, to the extent that even her face seemed to be growing more and more feminine. Ellie was confident that her mind and body would soon begin to change under the influence of the medicine she was taking, and she was even more confident that no matter what, she’d always have Janet’s support, as well as the support of her friends, and of the only member of her family whom she knew still loved her.

Over the summer holidays, Ellie and Jack’s rendezvouses became more and more frequent. During one week in August, they met up on six days out of seven, and each time they spoke, both siblings listened intently to the other’s tales about their lives. It broke Ellie's heart when Jack was unable to 'escape' from their parents on the 23rd of August- his birthday- but she was over the moon when he spent practically all of the 25th, 26th and 27th with her (and she made sure that she spoiled him as far as her limited wages would go).

During each visit, Ellie was obviously interested in Jack’s tales of home and family- and how much the teenaged boy suspected their parents missed their eldest child- but Ellie was surprised by the interest Jack took in her life, in her friends, her studies and her transition. At times, it was almost like Jack was Ellie’s sister, rather than her brother, and this helped to make Jack the only man Ellie fully trusted.

However, Ellie would need to start trusting men again, or at least pretending to trust them, as there would be hundreds of young men at the college she would shortly be walking into. 12 months earlier, that thought had been a source of excitement, something to distract her from the nerves of going into an unknown place for the first ever time as a woman. On this particular Monday, however, Ellie felt little to no anxiety about presenting as a woman- everyone in her class had known her for a year and had for the most part had grown to accept her during that time. On the other hand, the thought of all the young men in the college, each one a potential attacker, filled Ellie with dread. Especially as she knew that whether she like it or not, she’d find herself attracted to several of them…

“Hey Ell!” Monique said with a wide grin as the blonde girl took her usual seat on the bus. “So that was summer then, eh?”

“I liked it,” Ellie shrugged. “And there’ll be another one next year.”

“When we’ll all FINALLY be eighteen!” Kacey said. “Can’t wait to go to Ibiza next summer!”

“Gonna be fun explaining my passport when we go!” Ellie said with a snort of genuine laughter.

“Whatever,” Monique said dismissively. “Just hope it’ll be a guy, that way he’ll spend more time checking you out than the passport, hehe!”

“Yeah,” Ellie giggled nervously.

“And if we fly Soixante-Trois, they wouldn’t even blink at the ‘M’ in your passport, would they?” Kacey asked.

“Like we could afford to fly Soixante-Trois!” Monique snorted.

“Don’t think they fly from London to Ibiza anyway,” Ellie shrugged. “Not that I’m an expert just because, well, you know.”

“Never said you were!” Kacey said with a smug grin. “Music, on the other hand…”

“Your bro starting college today?” Monique asked the blonde girl, who shook her head in response.”

“Starting Year 11 today,” Ellie replied. “Your brothers and sisters are all older than you, aren't they?"

"Yep," Kacey replied.

“Both my brothers left college a LONG time ago,” Monique said. “Thank god, heh!”

“I dunno,” Ellie shrugged. “Would kinda have liked to go to college with Jack. At least then I know there’d be a guy there who WON’T bottle me…”

“Oh- Ellie…” Kacey sighed. “I get, you know, the whole ‘not going to get over PTSD overnight’ thing, but still, you know?”

“You can’t assume that every boy’s gonna be a dick,” Monique said.

“Even the ones who assume that every girl doesn’t have a dick?” Ellie asked. “I’m gonna have, you know, surgery eventually. I mean, I’m already on HRT, a couple of years and I’ll be eligible, so I’ll have ‘nothing to hide’ then, right?”

“Okay, fine,” Monique said, holding her hands up in mock-surrender. “It’s your life, don’t let us tell you how to live it.”

“I thought you were feeling better about the whole thing anyway?” Kacey asked.

“I have bad days,” Ellie sighed. “Got a feeling today’s gonna be a REALLY bad day.”

“If you go in thinking it will, it probably will be,” Kacey snorted. “You never know, you might meet the guy of your dreams today?”

“And don’t say ‘guy from my nightmares’!” Monique ordered the blonde girl. “Lots of new guys starting today. Some of them are bound to be alright, yeah?” Ellie nodded, and logically, she knew that there was every chance she would meet an attractive young man who’d like her for who she was, ‘flaws’ and all- but she knew that finding out would mean she’d have to risk meeting another ‘Ethan’, and that was a risk Ellie was not willing to take.

Before heading into college, the three girls made their usual trip to the nearby supermarket where, as always, Janet was waiting for them with a wide grin on her face.

“Good morning!” Janet said in a teasing voice. “I’m gonna miss my favourite customers this time next year, heh!”

“I’ll try to get a job around here and drop in on my way to work, hehe!” Monique giggled in reply.

“Don’t fancy uni, then?” Janet asked.

“Nah, I like money too much,” Monique shrugged, earning a giggle from the older woman.

“Yeah, money is great,” Janet chuckled. “Don’t write off uni too quickly, though. It was one of the most fun experiences of my life, heh. First time I was able to, you know, really be ‘me’.” Janet smirked as she remembered back to the early nineties, when she attended university and when she began to explore being ‘Janet’ for the very first time.

“I’m still thinking of uni,” Kacey said. “Not decided yet. Depends on if I can stay in London, REALLY don’t want the cost of living away from home.”

“Or doing your own laundry?” Janet teased, smirking as the brown-haired girl blushed. “It’s a bit of a culture shock at first, but before long you realise that you’re effectively living alone with a lot of people the same age as you. THEN the fun begins!”

“Yeah, heh!” Kacey chuckled awkwardly as she and her friends headed out of the shop and toward the college.

Janet smirked as she watched the three girls leave the supermarket, before turning her attention to her next customer. As usual, Janet and Ellie hadn’t exchanged any words beyond a ‘hi’ each, the older woman knowing from experience that any teenaged girl didn't need her parent (or, in Janet's case, parental figure) doing anything to cause undue embarrassment.

Janet and Ellie had discussed the possibility of the younger woman starting university, and while the younger woman had said that she’d want to stay in London- to remain closer to Jack- Janet faced the probability that soon, she would once again be alone. The fact that Janet was on her own at work for the first time in months, due to her friends Meredith and Shannon both taking leave, just amplified her feelings of loneliness.

Even though it had been over a year since her coming out, Janet found that she missed her family more with every passing day. Ellie’s return to college made Janet think of her daughter, who would be starting further education college that week, and of her son, who should have been going to university, but who would instead be looking for a job, any job, and struggling to find an employer who’d hire a convicted criminal. And as much as she tried to convince herself that rationally, she wasn’t responsible for Ethan’s actions, she couldn’t help but feel responsible for the young man’s tainted future.

Later that afternoon, after a long day of getting reacquainted with her studies, Ellie broke her normal afternoon routine by waving goodbye to her two friends and heading in the opposite direction to them, away from her usual bus stop. A short while later, she walked into a small, clean office and sat down opposite her counsellor, smoothing her short skirt and crossing one leg over the other.

“Hello Ellie,” Dr Leach said with a warm smile. “Did you have a good day? It was your first day back at college, wasn’t it?”

“Yep!” Ellie replied with a tired chuckle.

“Ah, I know that feeling,” Dr Leach said with a chuckle of her own. “I used to dread September when I was your age. But after a few weeks, I was always glad to be back in the routine, seeing all my friends again.”

“I don’t mind college too much,” Ellie shrugged. “It’s a lot better than school, that’s for sure.”

“Because you can attend college as the person you really are?” Dr Leach asked.

“Well- that helps,” Ellie replied. “It’s more that I actually have friends at college. Sometimes I expect Monique and Kacey to, you know, get sick of me and go and be friends with someone else, but they never do.”

“Do both of their boyfriends go to the same college as you?” Dr Leach asked.

“No,” Ellie shrugged. “Kacey’s single, Monique’s boyfriend works in a pub. And of course, I’m still single…”

“Yes, you said during our last session that you weren’t looking at the moment, after what happened in May,” Dr Leach said.

“And that’s not going to change any time soon,” Ellie said.

“Well, obviously that’s your decision,” Dr Leach said. “What you went through, no one should have to experience, and while it’s understandable that you’d steer clear of boys for now, I hope it doesn’t mean that you’re planning on staying single for the rest of your life.”

“I might try dating a girl, see what that’s like,” Ellie shrugged.

“Nothing wrong with that,” Dr Leach said.

“Unless I get a TERF who takes one look in my pants and gives me a matching scar on the other side of my head,” Ellie snorts. “And I’m not planning on being single for the rest of my life, just until I get my SRS and it won’t be a ‘problem’ anymore.”

“Ah,” Dr Leach said, a concerned look spreading across her face. “That shouldn’t be a reason, at least not the main reason, for wanting SRS.”

“I know,” Ellie shrugged. “I’m just sick of things being, you know, ‘awkward’. Every boyfriend I’ve had, I’ve had to explain the situation to them, and every one of them could have reacted like Ethan did. If I get SRS, I won’t have to explain. I don’t mind waiting, even if it’s a couple of years.”

“What if it’s longer, say, five years?” Dr Leach asked, making Ellie pause. “You know we only refer people for SRS when we feel that a person is psychologically ready for it. For obvious reasons, I wouldn’t refer you now even if you had been on HRT for the prerequisite amount of time. Though I’m definitely not saying that you should jump into bed with someone in an attempt to prove that you’re ‘cured’, either.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t really planning to,” Ellie said in a defensive tone. “But, like, the ultimate goal is SRS, isn’t it?”

“The goal is to make sure you’re ready for it,” Dr Leach replied. “Yes, I wouldn’t have prescribed HRT if I didn’t think you were fully committed to the change, but you know as well as I do that SRS is another thing entirely.”

“I know,” Ellie mumbled. “I’m not, like, trying to get it any sooner, you know?”

“Maybe not consciously,” Dr Leach said softly.

“Well- maybe, I dunno,” Ellie sighed. “If I’d just been, you know, born a girl, none of this would be a problem. Surely they can just scan kids’ brains or something to see which gender they’re supposed to be and then raise them the way they should?”

“If only it was that easy,” Dr Leach said, smiling sympathetically. “But we will support you throughout your transition, and so will your friends, and so will Janet. And I’m sure if you go to university you’ll find a lot of support there, most universities have a dedicated LGBT support officer.”

“I know,” Ellie said. “I’ve still not made up my mind there yet.”

“There’s still time,” Dr Leach said. “Even if you don’t go next year, you can always go the year after. You’re still young- you don’t need to be rushing into things.”

“I suppose,” Ellie shrugged.

“The best thing you can do right now is try to enjoy your life,” Dr Leach advised. “College- which you’ve already said you enjoy- hanging out with your friends, and most of all, being able to be who you really are. The rest will come in time.”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered as she relaxed back into her chair and continued to detail the events of her life since her last meeting with the counsellor.

Ellie left the office feeling no more confident than she felt when she entered it, but she did at least feel relieved to have got more of her anxieties off her chest. As always, Dr Leach had been an excellent listener, but her advice- to try to enjoy her life- would be easier said than done for Ellie.

After arriving home, Ellie shared a quick meal with Janet before retreating to her tiny, cramped bedroom and letting out a long, tired sigh. Ellie had hoped that returning to the normal routine of college life would help to settle her anxieties, but she still felt uneasy even when in the comfort of her own room. However, she knew from experience that sulking would only make matters worse, and as hard as it would be, she would try her best to focus on the few positives in her life- a task made easier later in the evening when her phone pinged to notify her of a new text message from her brother.

The following morning, Janet and Ellie got up at their usual times and got ready for work and school respectively, unconsciously settling back into their usual, comfortable routines. As usual, Ellie met with her friends on the bus, before buying their lunches from Janet’s supermarket and heading to their college for another day of learning.

Once she was in her class, Ellie wasted no time in immersing herself in her work. The attempt to distract herself from her stress was briefly successful, but as the morning wore on, Ellie found herself growing more and more uncomfortable with how crowded the room was, and feeling more self-conscious about the attention she was attracting from the boys on her course. The attention was nothing new, of course- a few of the boys had even asked Ellie out the previous year, despite the teasing they had ‘earned’ from some of their less open-minded classmates. Even though Ellie had rejected the boys’ advances, she’d always been flattered by the attention, and there was a part of her that wished that she would be shown the same ‘attention’ again- but there was a much larger part of her that just wanted to be left alone.

As Ellie stopped at a restroom en route to meeting her friends for lunch, though, she realised that it wasn’t just the boys in the college that she needed to worry about.

“No,” Ellie whispered as she stared at the brown-haired girl and her friend touching up their make-up. “Why her? Why here?”

“…Sure you want to dump him?” The brown-haired girl’s ginger-haired friend asked. “You were practically glues to him this summer!”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” the unmistakable voice of Lindsay Cole sneered. “He is an absolute, total wanker. Last straw was when he got into that fight last week. I mean, who cares about which player signed for who?” So you’re NOT a fan of violence, then? Ellie thought to herself as she rolled her eyes, before taking a deep breath and trying to casually sneak behind the two girls.

“I don’t get that about boys,” Lindsay’s friend spat. “Why they need to, you know, hit any problem they can’t solve?”

“It’s ‘cause boys are morons,” Lindsay snorted. Some more than others, Ellie thought to herself.

“Gonna stay single for a while, then?” Lindsay’s friend asked. “Plenty of fit boys to choose from here…”

“Plenty of morons, too,” Lindsay scoffed. “They wouldn’t- no…” Ellie grimaced as Lindsay’s eyes locked with hers in the mirror and widened in shock, before contorting into a look of pure rage.

“Ah, shit,” Ellie whispered to herself as Lindsay span around, her facial expression somehow even angrier than it had been moments before.

“You…” Lindsay hissed. “PERVERT! GET OUT OF HERE! MAN! MAN IN THE GIRLS’ TOILETS!”

“Lindsay,” the angry girl’s ginger-haired friend said softly as she placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m not sharing a toilet with HIM!” Lindsay screeched. “If I turn my back he’ll probably rape me! RAPIST!”

“Ugh, no thank you!” Ellie sneered, internally grimacing as she realised she probably hadn’t made the situation any better.

“YOU LITTLE WHORE!” Lindsay howled, shoving Ellie and causing the blonde girl to stumble into a cubicle, where she fell to the floor in an undignified heap. “And stay down there where you belong!” Ellie shivered with rage and embarrassment as Lindsay spat in her face, and didn’t even notice when she was literally dragged away by her flame-haired friend.

As she laid on the toilet floor, time seemed to stop for Ellie. Running into Ethan at the party had been unlikely enough, but to run into Lindsay as well, at one of the very few places where she felt safest? Ellie began to genuinely wonder if the whole universe was playing a cruel practical joke on her, if she was destined to go through her whole life being assaulted and degraded simply for daring to be the person she always dreamed of being.

Ellie sighed as she wiped Lindsay’s saliva off her cheek and was unsurprised to discover that it had mingled with her tears. She slowly tried to stand up, only for her knees to buckle and send her crashing to the floor once again. More tears flowed freely from Ellie’s eyes, and they only flowed faster when she heard the toilet door open and three pairs of feet walk inside. Ellie braced herself for the worst as she saw the familiar orange hair of Lindsay’s friend loom into view, but relaxed when she saw that the girl’s expression wasn’t one of anger, but of genuine worry.

“Ell- it- it’s Ellie, right?” The ginger haired girl said softly as she offered her hand to Ellie to help her to her feet.

“Umm- uh-huh,” Ellie mumbled confusedly as she was escorted out of the toilet and to somewhere she could sit in private.

“I’m Jodie, Jodie Grant,” the ginger haired girl said softly. “This is my friend Keira, and you already know Danni, the first aider, right?”

“Umm, yeah,” Ellie mumbled, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves as the older dark-skinned girl sat down next to her.

“Hey, Jodie told me what happened,” Danni said softly. “Are you okay? Do you need me to call anyone?” Ellie opened her mouth to reply, only to close it again- the only person she could call was Janet, and Ellie really didn’t to be the one to tell her that both of her children had assaulted her.

“I- I’m okay,” Ellie whispered, before breaking down in another flood of tears.

“Yeah, no, you’re not,” Danni whispered. “Do you want me to call your foster carer?”

“And tell her what?” Ellie snorted. “That both of her kids hate me?”

“Oh my god, so it WAS you,” Jodie sighed, before frowning as the other three women looked at her expectantly. “Me and Lindsay knew there was A transgendered girl at college, but we never thought it’d be you, you know?”

“This can’t be a coincidence,” Ellie said darkly. “That whole fucking family’s going to stalk me until I die or they kill me.”

“There are colleges closer to where Lindsay lives, aren’t there?” Keira asked.

“None that do an archaeology course,” Jodie sighed. “Though she’s probably going to need to look for another new one now…”

“Yep,” Danni said firmly. “I am going to do everything I can to make sure she NEVER sets foot in this college again.”

“Oh- wait, no…” Ellie moaned as feelings of guilt welled up within her. In her mind, she had already cost one of Janet’s children their chance at higher education, and if she did that to a second, she didn’t know how she’d ever be able to look her guardian in the eye again.

“Ellie,” Danni said softly. “She can’t be allowed to get away with this. She assaulted you. She should be punished.”

“Yeah, but, you know, I-“ Ellie stammered.

“Do NOT say you had it coming,” Jodie said firmly. “Because you didn’t. You didn’t deserve what Lindsay’s brother did to you and you didn’t deserve this. I just don’t get why Lindsay’s such a homophobe, you know? She never was before her dad came out, she still listens to Out of Heaven, hell, we’ve even got tickets to see them next month!”

“Bet your friend Steph would have a thing or two to say about THAT if she found out about today!” Danni snorted.

“Ugh,” Ellie spat. The last thing she wanted was yet more attention being given to the assault, especially from her friend Stephanie. All she wanted was to be left alone, to be allowed to forget that it happened, and for it to never happen again- but she realised that the latter of those things was incompatible with the others. “Where- where’s Lindsay now?”

“Talking to the head of the college,” Jodie replied. “What it’s worth, she did NOT look pleased with herself after she left the toilet, like, after the anger went, she was all ‘OMG what did I just do?’ sort of thing.”

“Probably worried about what’s going to happen to her,” Ellie snorted. “But- but she shouldn’t be expelled…”

“I don’t see why not,” Danni scoffed as Jodie and Keira nodded in agreement. “But you shouldn’t worry about her, not at all. Get yourself home and into bed and forget all about today. I’ll talk to your tutor, explain you’re not well- I won’t explain why- and we’ll see how you are tomorrow, okay?”

“O- okay,” Ellie whispered as Jodie and Keira escorted her back to the reception area, where a taxi was called for her.

“You got many friends at this college?” Jodie asked in an attempt to distract Ellie.

“Umm, just two,” the blonde girl mumbled, before grimacing. “Shit, I was meant to meet them for lunch…”

“I’ll tell them you’re going home sick,” Keira said. “What are their names?”

“Umm, Kacey Harris and Monique Daniels,” Ellie replied. “Ugh- oh, god, I was meant to meet with them for lunch…”

“I know Kacey, she used to go to my old school,” Keira said. “I’ll let her know.”

“Umm- you went to my old school?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah, but, like, a year below,” Keira said. “I know Kacey ‘cause we were on the netball team together. I, umm, I never, you know, knew ‘you’, though…”

“You mean ‘Liam’?” Ellie snorted. “Good.”

“I- I’d kinda like to be friends with, you know, ‘Ellie’, if you’d like?” Keira mumbled, bringing a smile to the shaken blonde girl’s face.

“…That could be cool,” Ellie said. “If your parents don’t mind you having a transgendered friend?”

“Don’t see why not, they got my sister loads of Angels merchandise for her birthday a few months ago," Keira shrugged. "And you need more than three to be, like, 'Angels', right?"

"...I am NOT being called 'mini-Jamie'," Ellie protested, making her two new friends giggle. "Though I have met her. And she is really cool."

"I saw photos on her Instagram of her and her new daughter," Jodie said. "Funny thing is, Lindsay liked those photos too..."

"I, umm, I think the taxi's pulled up," Keira said softly. "You- you okay getting home?"

"I'll be fine," Ellie shrugged. "Thanks- thanks for this."

"That's what friends are for," Jodie said softly, before exchanging an awkward hug with the blonde girl. "I am going to talk to Lindsay when we go home, this is NOT the girl I knew at school."

"Yeah," Ellie mumbled, her insides growling as she was reminded of a phone call she needed to make before she got home. "Did- did you ever, you know, meet- meet Lindsay's, umm, dad?"

"...A couple of times," Jodie confessed. "Always thought he was nice. Never would have guessed he- well, you know..."

"Yeah, better than most people," Ellie sighed. "I- umm, talk tomorrow?"

"Sure," Jodie whispered, exchanging another hug with Ellie before allowing Keira to bid her farewell with a hug of her own.

A few minutes later, Ellie dropped onto the back seat of the black London taxi with a heavy sigh, and after telling the driver where she wanted to go, reached into her bag for her phone. Logically, Ellie knew she'd have to call Janet to tell her she was coming home early, but every time she tried to push the button to make the call, a wave of panic engulfed her. Janet wasn't stupid- she'd ask questions, and if Ellie lied, she'd see right through it, even if the lie was to spare her feelings.

Eventually, Ellie bit the bullet and pushed the button, and after just two rings, the call connected, causing the blonde girl to almost hyperventilate.

"Hi Ellie," Janet said with a confused tone to her voice. "Is something up?"

"Umm, yeah," Ellie mumbled. "I- I'm coming home early, I- I'm not feeling too well..."

"Oh, okay," Janet said. "Have you been sick?"

"No, just, umm, feeling a bit light-headed, a bit dizzy," Ellie replied.

"Well, if you don't feel well enough, you don't feel well enough," Janet replied, causing Ellie to breathe a sigh of relief as the expected grilling failed to materialise. "I'll have some hot chocolate waiting for you at home. Are Kacey or Monique with you?"

"Umm, no, they- they're at their own classes," Ellie replied.

"Fair enough," Janet said. "Get yourself home, see how you feel tomorrow." Ellie allowed herself a tired smile as she clicked off the phone call, and as she arrived home to her promised mug of hot chocolate.

Ellie spent the rest of the night on the sofa, fiddling with her phone and avoiding any questions Janet had about her 'illness'. However, she could tell just how worried the middle-aged woman was, and knew deep down that the worry was less to do with her 'illness', and more to do with the fact that she was keeping something from her.

The following morning, as usual, Janet was the first to wake up. As she walked from her bedroom to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, she paused outside Ellie's room, and let out a long sigh. She knew that the teenaged girl had been keeping something from her, but she couldn't figure out exactly what. Janet knew that Ellie wasn't sick in the sense that she had a virus, but she also knew that Ellie had struggled almost as much as she had with depression- and that that could be even more debilitating than any virus.

Ellie was keeping something from her, and she knew there had to be a good reason for that, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to help Ellie as long as she was locking her out like that. And Janet truly did want to help Ellie, no matter what the problem was.

A short while later, Ellie emerged from her bedroom, and Janet forced a smile on her face as the younger woman went into the kitchen to prepare her breakfast.

"Morning!" Janet said with a grin. "Feeling better today, then?"

"Eh, a little," Ellie shrugged. "Should be up for college. I- I'll, umm, call you if I, you know..." Get knocked over by your daughter again, Ellie mentally completed her sentence.

"Sure," Janet said. "Are you- are you going to wear your new tartan skirt to college today? I know you've been dying to wear it for ages..."

"Probably," Ellie shrugged. "Umm..."

"I- umm, I need to head off now, work..." Janet mumbled. "Ellie, you- you know you can talk to me about anything, right? And I mean ANYTHING, no matter what the problem is. I don't see being your guardian as meaning just putting a roof over your head and keeping you fed, you know?"

"I know," Ellie mumbled back as she felt her cheeks began to burn.

"Okay..." Janet said. "Well, umm, think about it, and if you need to talk, umm, you know..."

"Sure," Ellie whispered as Janet left the flat, appreciative of the offer but still none the wiser as to how to tell Janet about what happened.

Ellie left the flat herself a few minutes later and made her way to her usual bus stop. As she got on the bus, she was greeted as always by her two closest friends- though both of them had very uncharacteristic looks of concern on their face.

"Hey Ell," Monique said softly. "We- we heard you went home sick yesterday, you okay?"

"...Yeah, fine," Ellie mumbled, her reddening cheeks betraying her lie.

"We- we also heard WHY you went home," Kacey said quietly.

"Oh- oh god," Ellie moaned. "Does- does anyone else know?"

"...Pretty much the whole college," Monique whispered.

"Oh god!" Ellie howled, startling many nearby passengers. "You know, I was actually looking forward to going back to college too? To getting away from all this shit with Janet's family?"

"I still can't believe she's going to the same college as you!" Kacey snorted. "I mean, creepy or what?"

"Apparently she likes archaeology and nowhere else does it," Ellie shrugged.

"Yeah, well that'd make sense, 'cause she thinks like an old fossil," Monique snorted. "Don't let her get to you, okay? Even if she is there today- which she shouldn't be- let us help, alright? Next time you need a piss, we all go."

"...Maybe I should wear a nappy instead?" Ellie scoffed, before frowning. "...Sorry. I do genuinely appreciate it, but, you know? Don't want to be treated like a 5 year old. I'm sick of being a victim."

"Hey, we're a team, aren't we?" Kacey asked. "We had your back with one Cole, we've got it with the other."

"If we're a team, then surely we need a team name, right?" Monique asked. "Something like, I dunno, EKM? Team KEM maybe?"

"Team Kacellmon?" Kacey suggested, making Ellie giggle.

"Sounds like a Pokémon," the blonde girl snorted.

"Alright then," Kacey said. "Let's see you do any better?"

"Team Monellcey?" Ellie suggested, before giggling and shaking her head. "I dunno."

"I've got it!" Monique giggled. "Take 'Kace', 'Ell', and 'Ique', rearrange a couple of letters... Team 'Classique'?"

"...I love it," Ellie said with a wide grin. "La classique, hehe!"

"La classique!" Kacey and Monique both cheered, grinning as the smile on their previously-stricken friend's face widened.

The girls were still smiling a few minutes later as they arrived at their regular supermarket, but as they went to pay for their lunches, the grins faded when they realised that their regular cashier was nowhere to be found.

"...Janet got the day off?" Monique asked.

"She didn't say anything to me," Ellie shrugged. "She left for work normal time..." Ellie frowned as she checked her phone for a missed call or a text, only to find nothing. "Nope. Must just be on a toilet break or something?"

"Before 9am?" Kacey asked. "Meh, I dunno. Come on, don't wanna be late."

"Yeah, don't wanna be late for everyone staring at us," Ellie sighed as she paid for her food and followed her friends the short distance toward their college.

As she walked in the college, Ellie mentally braced herself for the stares and the whispers that she had become accustomed to during her first few weeks at the establishment, but which she'd thought she'd put behind her. She'd worked hard to go from being 'that transgendered girl' to simply 'that blonde girl', and the actions of both Ethan and Lindsay had threatened to set her back to square one. However, she was determined that she would make the same progress she had the previous year, so if people were going to gossip about her, she was ready.

What she wasn't ready for, however, was the sight of Danni waiting for her in the entrance foyer- and Janet standing right next to her.

"Hey Ellie," Danni said softly. "We, umm, we- the head of the college, she, umm, wants to have a word with you, okay?"

"Umm, okay," Ellie said, exchanging a brief glance with Janet as they followed the dark-skinned girl toward the offices at the back of the building.

As they entered the head's office, both Janet and Ellie let out gentle gasps as they saw that not only was the head waiting for them there, but so was Lindsay, who was sporting a deep look of shame on her youthful face.

"Hello Janet, Ellie," the college's new principal, a woman in her mid-forties, said with a warm smile. "Thank you for coming at such short notice. I'm sure you're aware of the unfortunate incident that took place yesterday."

"Yes, I am now," Janet said, casting a stern glance at Ellie.

"It has left me in an unenviable position of trying to sort this out," the principal said. "Obviously, transphobia cannot be tolerated in this college, nor can any other kind of bigotry. But at the same time, I don't want to have to expel someone who's only been at the college for two days. This is why I've decided to compromise. Lindsay will remain in the college, but will be on a final warning. She also has something she wants to say. Lindsay?"

"I- I'm sorry I attacked you," Lindsay said in a hoarse, emotional voice as her cheeks turned bright red. "I acknowledge that my actions were based on prejudice, that I was entirely in the wrong and that I deserve to be punished for my actions."

"Apology accepted," Ellie mumbled, feeling her own cheeks start to flush as she felt her guardian's stare burn into her.

"Thank you, Lindsay," the principal said. "You can go now. And remember what I said."

"I will," Lindsay mumbled, grabbing her bags and making a point of not looking in either Janet or Ellie's direction as she scuttled out of the room.

"If you two want to talk, you can use my office," the principal said softly. "Ellie, your tutors know not to expect you until your second period."

"Thanks," Ellie whispered as the principal left her alone in the office with Janet, triggering an immediate awkward silence. "Janet- I, umm..."

"Why didn't you tell me it was Lindsay?" Janet asked in a hoarse voice, betraying her turbulent emotions.

"I- I didn't want to hurt you..." Ellie feebly mumbled.

"You had to have known I'd find out sooner or later," Janet said, before letting out a long sigh. "And YOU did nothing to hurt me. My daughter, on the other hand..."

"I swear I didn't know she'd be at this college," Ellie pleaded.

"Yes- well, obviously," Janet conceded. "You were here first, Ellie. And your friend Danni tells me she didn't know you went here, and I've got no reason to not believe her. Ugh, these coincidences won't stop happening, will they? Sometimes I think we're cursed..."

"Yeah," Ellie moaned. "Though I, umm, I did kinda make some new friends out of it."

"...Really?" Janet asked.

"Probably not something you want to hear right now, heh," Ellie mumbled.

"No- any good news, I'll take," Janet said. "Who are they?"

"You might know one of them," Ellie chuckled. "Jodie Grant? Started- umm, started college with, umm, Lindsay..."

"Yeah, I remember Jodie," Janet said with a smirk. "Nice girl. Very level-headed. Sometimes wondered whether or not Ethan would end up with her, heh."

"Doubt that'll happen now," Ellie sighed. "Don't think she's even friends with Lindsay anymore after yesterday."

"...It does break my heart to hear that," Janet said, making Ellie grimace. "But she is sixteen now, she's got to learn that actions have consequences. Though you'd have thought she'd have learned that from her brother."

"You talking about coincidences, that whole family must think the same thing about me," Ellie snorted. "And if I hadn't come on to Ethan-"

"No," Janet said firmly. "Do not, and I mean do NOT blame yourself. You did not deserve the consequences for your actions. Ethan and Lindsay did. I may have failed as their parent but I'm not going to fail with you, Ellie, I mean it. I will NOT let you go through life thinking you don't deserve to feel happy."

"...Thanks," Ellie whispered. "So, umm, you- you not at work today?"

"I have to get back there in a bit," Janet sighed. "Then I'm seeing Dr Healy later on today. God knows what she'll say about this, heh!"

"Yeah..." Ellie whispered, before allowing herself a sad smile as she and Janet walked back to the college's reception area, where they parted ways.

As Janet walked the short distance back to her place of work, she felt her stomach churning at the news she'd received about her youngest child. She knew her ex-wife was a lost cause, and suspected the same thing about Ethan, but had always held out hope that maybe, just maybe she and Lindsay could have had a mother and daughter relationship similar to the one she'd cultivated with Ellie. That hope now laid in tatters, and it was all Janet could do not to weep openly in the middle of the street.

After work, Janet met with her counsellor, where she shed several tears as she described her feelings of despair at the realisation that the last of her bridges to her old family had been burned. Dr Healy had tried to cheer Janet up, had tried to console her with the fact that, in Janet's own words, Lindsay had seemed genuinely remorseful for her actions, but it didn't stop Janet from crying herself to sleep that night.

The following morning at work, however, Janet got the surprise of her life. Ten minutes after Ellie, Monique and Kacey had paid for the lunches, three more girls stopped at her register. Janet managed to not gasp with shock when she recognised the first girl in the queue as her daughter's friend Jodie, but her jaw dropped when she realised that the girl at the back of the trio was none other than Lindsay herself.

Despite herself, Janet let out a smile as she rang up her daughter's lunch, and much to Janet's surprise, Lindsay smiled back- a sad, almost regretful smile, but a smile nonetheless, and one that made Janet think that maybe, just maybe, she could dare to hope...

“Good- evening,” Janet said, checking her watch as Ellie walked through the door. “Making sure it is still evening and not early tomorrow morning.”

“Hilarious,” Ellie snorted as she dropped her handbag on the coffee table and flopped down onto the sofa. “It’s only, what, 8pm?”

“And you’re only, what, seventeen?” Janet replied, before smiling sympathetically. “Though in fairness, when I was seventeen, 8pm was early too, heh. And a lot earlier than you’ll be back tomorrow, though that’s understandable under the circumstances!” Ellie grinned widely as she looked forward to the big event that was happening the following night- though a large part of her smile was due to how she’d spent that particular day as well.

On weeks when she was at college, Ellie dreaded Thursdays more than any other day of the week. She would usually be tired from a long week at college, and wouldn’t be able to properly relax afterwards as there would still be another day before the weekend. On this particular week, though, Ellie wasn’t at college at all- and as such, she enjoyed each day more than the last, hanging out not just with Kacey and Monique, but her new friends Jodie and Keira as well.

The whole week, however, paled into insignificance next to what would be happening the following night. Ellie and her four friends had tickets to see their favourite band, Out of Heaven, at Wembley arena. Even though she’d seen the band before (and considered one of the members to be a close friend), Ellie still struggled to sleep the night before the concert, though this was as much due to reminiscing about the events of the previous few weeks as it was excitement about the concert.

In the weeks following Lindsay’s assault on Ellie, things slowly started to change for Ellie both at home and at college. In her first year, Ellie had at best been someone who flew under the radar of the more popular girls, and had at worst been a pariah. She hung out with Kacey and Monique as she had no other options, and attended every party she could out of fear that she’d never be invited to any others- a decision that came back to haunt her in the end. However, following Lindsay’s assault (and to a lesser extent, Ethan’s) Ellie began to earn the sympathy of the other people at college, which was soon followed by friendship from some- and much to Ellie’s surprise, Jodie and Keira were among the first to befriend her. Ellie couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Lindsay as she was left abandoned by the girls who used to be her friend, but any sympathy quickly evaporated when she remembered what Lindsay had done to her (along with the actions of her mother and brother).

Unbeknownst to Ellie, though, Lindsay continued to take the same bus to college as her two friends, occasionally chatting with them (though nowhere as much as she used to) and occasionally shopping at Janet’s supermarket- though Janet had yet to exchange any words with her daughter. However, none of the girls were aware of Lindsay’s biggest secret…

“Wakey wakey!” Janet said, knocking on Ellie’s door and waking the blonde girl from her slumber. “Big day today!”

“Go away, it’s still too early,” Ellie moaned.

“I took the day off work today,” Janet retorted. “It’s almost 10am! You don’t want to be late, do you?”

“Concert’s not until the evening,” Ellie replied, before sighing and sliding her tired body out of her bed. “Okay, I’m up, I’m up.” Ellie stretched her stiff muscles before pulling on her favourite fluffy pink dressing gown and padding through to the kitchen, where Janet had her breakfast all ready and waiting for her. “Why you off work today then?”

“Had the leave built up,” Janet shrugged. “Either use it or lose it, better to do the former, right?”

“I guess,” Ellie shrugged. “Why are you off TODAY, though?”

“Because I wanted to be,” Janet replied. “I’m kinda excited about this concert too, you know? When Steph gave you your tickets, she had a few set aside for me if I wanted them…”

“And thank god you didn’t take them,” Ellie snorted, making Janet giggle- the reaction wasn’t unlike the reaction she got from her own daughter whenever she threatened to interfere in her personal life.

In the six weeks since Lindsay had visited Janet’s supermarket for the first time, Janet had thought a lot about her relationship not just with Lindsay, but with Ellie as well. She and Janet had been living together for almost a year, and what had initially seemed like a short-term, stopgap arrangement had turned into a friendship unlike anything Janet had ever expected. When Janet had been forced to leave her home, she’d felt like a failure both as a person and as a parent, and Ethan and Lindsay’s later actions toward Ellie had only reinforced that feeling. However, Ellie’s continued implicit reliance on Janet had helped to ease her negative feelings, and over time, had even started to reverse them. For the first time in a long while, Janet felt like a good parent- and for the first time ever, she was beginning to feel like a mother.

“I’m probably just going to spend today catching up on housework,” Janet said with a shrug as Ellie wolfed down her breakfast. “You meeting up with your friends again today?”

“Probably,” Ellie replied. “Waiting for them to all get up first though.”

“Yes, yes, hint taken,” Janet giggled.

“I’ll probably come back here to change before the concert though” Ellie said. “Will you be out with your work friends? It’s, like, Friday…”

“Probably,” Janet said with a chuckle. “So I might not be back when you come home to change. So you take care today, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ellie replied, making Janet smirk yet again.

After finishing her breakfast, Ellie took a quick shower, before dressing for the day in what had quickly become her trademark look of a tight turtleneck sweater that showed off her fledgling curves, followed by a tiny pleated skirt, a pair of light tights and a pair of long, dark socks that both kept her legs warm and ensured she attracted a LOT of male attention when she left the flat!

A short while later, Ellie met up with her four friends inside a warm, crowded coffee shop in central London, and within seconds she had a wide, excited grin on her face.

“Hey girl!” Monique giggled as Ellie sat down next to her. “Looking hot today, hehe!”

“Yep!” Ellie said, playfully tossing back her long blonde hair. “SO excited about tonight!”

“Who isn’t?” Keira asked with an excited squeak. “Not only am I going to see the best band EVER, but I’m going to see them with a close, personal friend of one of the singers!” Ellie felt her cheeks start to flush as she was teased by her newest friend, but the smile on her face only grew wider.

“…Doubt I can get you girls any backstage passes, though,” Ellie said with a mock sigh that increased the excitement levels of her friends.

“Meh, you’re still cool,” Jodie shrugged. “I guess this concert is, like, special for you, I mean, not just ‘cause you know Steph, but, umm…”

“Erm… Yes?” Ellie asked. “You don’t need to be, you know, nervous about asking me questions about being trans, I mean, we’re friends, right?”

“Well- yeah…” Jodie said, before sighing. “What I want to know is- is, like, the concert special because you know with Steph in the band, there won’t be any transphobes there?”

“Huh,” Ellie mused. “Never really thought about it that way, though I guess it would be, I suppose.” And it’s certainly the biggest crowd of people I’ll have been in since I ‘met’ Ethan Cole, Ellie thought to herself, wondering whether or not the concert’s ‘safe space’ status boosted her confidence- or whether or she’ll ever be able to go to a ‘normal’ gathering, like a party or a concert, ever again. The other girls had been talking about going to the Isle of Wight or the Reading Festival the following summer, and while Ellie was enthusiastic about the idea, and genuinely loved the thought of getting dressed up and partying all weekend with her friends, her insides churned at the knowledge that all it would take was one transphobic person to ruin her fun- and with thousands attending festivals each year, the odds were not in Ellie’s favour.

“Well, I don’t care whether she’s trans or not,” Keira shrugged. “All I know is that tonight is going to be AWESOME.”

“When you say ‘she’,” Monique asked with a giggle, “do you mean Steph or Ellie?”

“…A little bit of both,” Keira replied as Ellie’s cheeks grew even redder.

“…You guys…” Ellie mumbled bashfully, though secretly, she was loving every second of the attention she was getting.

“You know what’s weird?” Jodie mused as she sipped her latte. “I realise you probably don’t want to even hear her name, but it was actually Lindsay who put me on to Out of Heaven in the first place.”

“And then burned all her shit when she found out one of the girls was trans?” Ellie scoffed.

“No, actually,” Jodie replied, grimacing as an awkward silence fell over the previously energised table. “Umm…”

“You reckon they’ll sing any songs from their next album tonight?” Kacey asked, trying to break the silence. “I mean, it’s coming out in what, May next year?”

“Probably,” Ellie mumbled, though something about the way Jodie replied to her rubbed her the wrong way. She knew that Jodie and Lindsay had been friends for a very long time, and figured that Jodie was still, in some way, fond of her, but the way she defended Lindsay still made Ellie suspicious.

“I hope Adeola gets to do a solo song,” Monique said, shaking Ellie out of her paranoia. “Heard that she didn’t in Southampton.”

“Meh, that’s ‘cause Southampton was Kayla’s night,” Keira said. “Her hometown and her birthday, like, you know?”

“I guess,” Monique shrugged. “We’re gonna get there early to hit the merchandise stands, right?”

“Well, duh!” Jodie replied with a grin that lightened the mood at the table.

The girls stayed at the coffee shop for the next hour, returning home afterward only to reconvene later in the afternoon at the vast SSE arena in Wembley in the west of the city. All five girls had taken the opportunity to change ahead of the concert, Ellie swapping her pleated skirt for an equally short but much tighter black skirt, and her turtleneck for a t-shirt displaying the cover of her favourite band’s last album, the title of which resonated with Ellie. ‘Stronger’ was how Ellie felt with every day she lived life the way she wanted, and every time she overcame an obstacle, though she had to admit that the ‘obstacles’ of Ethan and Lindsay were taking her a long time to overcome…

“Hey girl!” Monique yelled over the noise of the crowd as she and Kacey greeted Ellie with a tight, excited hug.

“Feeling ‘Stronger’, then?” Kacey teased.

“You got it!” Ellie squeaked as she excitedly bounced up and down. “Where are Jodie and Keira?”

“Already here, said they’d meet us inside,” Monique replied. “They got their tickets in July so they’ll be in a different section to us anyway. Ahh, this is gonna be SO awesome, though!”

“There are loads of people here!” Ellie said as the three girls headed into the vast arena and found their seats.

“And why wouldn’t there be?” Kacey asked. “Aren’t Out of Heaven the most awesome band EVER?"

“You said it!” Ellie giggled, straightening her skirt as she sat down and eagerly awaited the start of the concert.

Ellie and her friends didn’t have long to wait, and before long, the entire arena was filled with music provided by the four young women on the stage.

Ellie’s head was buzzing as she left the arena just over two hours later due to a combination of the music and the noise of the crowd. She knew from her studies about the euphoria that music could cause, especially live music, but that didn’t stop her from feeling a high after watching her favourite group do their thing. However, Ellie had no idea that her high was about to come crashing back down hard.

----------

"Kind of wish I was going with them in a way," Janet mused as she gave her work colleagues their drinks and sat down in her usual seat.

"No reason why you shouldn't," Shannon shrugged. "I mean, you're Stephanie's friend, after all. I was almost thinking of getting tickets myself, heh."

"Why didn't you?" Meredith asked. "Either of you, I mean? Because, you know, it's not going to be ONLY teenagers there, I remember going to a Take That concert when I was 14 and there were plenty of older fans there, though I suppose they'd only be 'old' from the perspective of a fourteen year old, so I dunno really, maybe?"

"It- it was just a silly thought, I'm not even really a fan of that style of music," Shannon confessed, before smirking. "...So Take That, eh?" Both Janet and Shannon grinned as the 37 year old woman began to blush.

"I was fourteen years old and it was 1994 so it's not like there was much else to do," Meredith sighed. "Actually had to read, you know, real, paper magazines rather than look on the internet, and the only mobile phones were the size of breezeblocks and you got music off the radio instead of Spotify. Radio 1 played a lot of Take That so that's what I listened to. That, and my sister was in charge of the radio most of the time so it was either 'like what she liked' or 'be miserable'."

"Did you cry when Robbie left the band?" Janet teased, smiling as her friend's cheeks grew even redder.

"...Can we change the topic, please?" Meredith winced.

"If it's any consolation, I was a huge Westlife fan when I was a teenager," Shannon confessed. "May have had one or more posters on my walls. Or should I say 'bits of wall between the posters', heh."

"How about you, Janet?" Meredith asked. "Who were the big boy band of the late eighties, anyway?"

"Umm, probably Bros," Janet replied. "Heh, THAT's going back a while."

"No, no, I remember Bros," Meredith giggled. "Hey, I'm a child of the eighties too, I remember watching Philip Schofield and Sarah Greene on Saturday mornings, I had a HUGE collection of Polly Pockets, read every issue of Just Seventeen- you ever read that, Janet?"

"Ah- umm, not really," Janet said, biting her lip as a look of pure mortification spread across Meredith's face.

"Oh- umm, s- sorry, I- I kinda, umm," Meredith stammered.

"...Though it is flattering to think you think I might have," Janet chuckled. "If you know what I mean."

"Yeah..." Meredith grimaced, sipping her drink as an awkward silence fell over the table.

"So, umm," Shannon asked. "Why- why didn't you go to the concert, Janet?"

"Because if my parents had come with me to a concert when I was seventeen, I'd never have forgiven them," Janet replied with a smirk. "And even though I'm not, you know, Ellie's 'real' parent, the effect would still be the same."

"I dunno," Shannon shrugged. "I- umm, I mean about you not being Ellie's real parent. I get that it'd have been TOTALLY embarrassing for her. But, you know, after everything you've done for her... There's no way you can say you're not a 'real' parent to her."

"...I dunno," Janet sighed. "I mean, I'd like to think we'll always be friends- okay, friends with a 26 year age gap, but still, right? I'm at best someone who put her up for a few months."

"If you insist," Shannon replied. "But I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks of you as her 'second mother' her whole life."

"I'd like to think that," Janet whispered. "I mean, I loved being a father... But there's something special about being a mother too." Janet smiled as her thoughts turned to her young ward, and the fun she was inevitably having at the concert...

----------

“That was SO awesome,” Monique enthused, shivering as she and her friends left the arena and were greeted by the cold October air.

“Can’t wait for the next one!” Ellie giggled as she got her phone out of her handbag and switched it back on. “I’m gonna text Jodie and Keira, see if they want to meet up for a drink before going home."

"Yeah, well make sure they know it'll be alcohol-free," Monique said. "Just 'cause I'm the only one of us who's eighteen it don't mean I'm gonna get arrested buying booze for all of you!"

“Meh, still sounds good,” Kacey shrugged. "He and she who must be obeyed and worshipped aren’t expecting me back for a while though dad’s made it clear what’s going to happen if I stay out TOO late.”

“Ugh,” Ellie spat as she remembered her own run-ins with Kacey’s father.

“Gonna be different next year when we’re at uni,” Monique said with a confident grin. "And can ALL properly drink!"

“Oh- definitely,” Kacey giggled, before sighing sadly. “Though I get that living independently isn’t ALL fun and games.”

“Oh- don’t worry,” Ellie chuckled. “It’s definitely more fun than living as ‘Liam’, that’s for sure! And I’m not REALLY independent, not, you know, living with Janet anyway.”

“You’re a lot more independent than I am,” Kacey mused. “And there’s a difference between ‘independent by choice’ and, well, not.” And god knows I wouldn’t choose to be ‘independent’ if it was up to me, Ellie thought to herself.

“Can- can we not talk about this?” Ellie asked. “I mean, we have just seen THE best concert ever, right?”

“Right, sorry, sorry,” Kacey giggled. “Where we meeting up with Jodie and Keira again?”

“It’s just across the road,” Ellie replied, smiling despite her friend’s inadvertent reminder of her relationship with her parents.

In addition to being on a high following the concert, Ellie also felt a sense of pride at how she’d felt throughout the evening. Her initial anxiety at being in a large crowd had quickly faded to be replaced with a true sense of belonging. Jodie had been right when they’d said that the concert would be a ‘safe space’ for Ellie, but it had still built her confidence to the point where going to a different band’s concert, or even to a big weekend festival, was no longer a terrifying prospect to her.

However, Ellie’s confidence evaporated when she and her friends entered the crowded coffee shop and found their table where their friends were sitting… Alongside the unmistakable form of Lindsay Cole.

“Wh- what the fuck is she doing here?” Monique hissed, instinctively standing between Ellie and Lindsay.

“Okay, guys,” Jodie said softly in an attempt to calm the situation.

“I should’ve fucking well known,” Ellie spat, her heart sinking at the sight of her nemesis sitting with the girls she thought were her new friends. Ellie’s paranoia went into instant overdrive as countless worst-case scenarios ran through her mind- had Jodie lured them to the coffee shop to humiliate her? Was Lindsay going to give her another beating despite being in public? Had Jodie and Keira ever been sincere about being her friends? Worse yet, were Monique and Kacey in on it as well?

“I- I think we should leave,” Kacey said, also stepping between Ellie and Lindsay and shooting daggers from her eyes at the latter girl. “We WON’T see you on Monday.”

“Guys, please,” Jodie pleaded. “Okay, you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but please hear us out.”

“’Us’, then?” Monique snorted. “And I don’t think Ellie’s interested in anything you have to say to her.” Ellie felt her confidence return as her friends- her true friends- defended her, and she stepped out from behind Monique to confront Lindsay herself, but much to her surprise, when she looked at the brown-haired girl, there was no anger in her face, no hostility- only sadness. Ellie was amazed to see that tears were actually beginning to form in her eyes. Maybe she was being paranoid after all…

“Come on guys,” Kacey spat. “Let’s g-“

“Wait,” Ellie said softly. “I- I want to hear her out.”

“Ell,” Monique whispered, “whatever it is she has to say, it can’t be good. You really want to put yourself through this?”

“You know what happened last time you two went head to head,” Kacey said.

“I know,” Ellie said stoically as she looked straight at Lindsay. “I’m listening.”

“Good,” Jodie said, biting her lip at the awkwardness of the situation and keenly aware that it was due to her actions. “We, umm, we- we had tickets to the concert since the summer, you know that, right?”

“Yes…?” Ellie replied.

“Well, umm, what it- what it is is-“ Jodie stammered.

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay whispered in a barely audible voice, sniffing back tears as she looked Ellie in the eyes.

“I- umm, what?” Ellie asked, her anger quickly deflating.

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay said in a louder, clearer voice. “I’m sorry I assaulted you. I’m sorry I blamed you for what happened to my brother and my- my, umm, dad… I- I’m sorry I was a bitch.” Ellie’s jaw dropped as she looked her one time nemesis in the eyes and saw that her apology was genuine. Not born out of a desire to be accepted by her friends yet again, but out of a genuine feeling of guilt at what she’d done.

“Okay…” Ellie mumbled as she suddenly felt several eyes turn to her, waiting for her to accept the apology.

“I realise that the way I’d acted, I wouldn’t want to be friends with me either,” Lindsay continued. “And it- it’s not like I hate transgendered people, I- I really don’t. I wouldn’t have been at the concert if I did.”

“I was gonna say,” Monique snorted.

“I just-“ Lindsay said, before biting her lip and sniffing back more tears. “I was- I was really hurt by what my- my dad did. I’d always looked up to hi- to, umm, to dad as a role model, and when he- umm, when, you know…”

“Janet was just as hurt by what you did to her,” Ellie mumbled, biting her lip as Lindsay tearfully nodded.

“I know,” the distraught girl whispered. “And I’m sorry about that as well.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologising to there,” Ellie mumbled.

“I know,” Lindsay whispered, shedding more tears as the four other girls intensified their stares at Ellie. The blonde girl’s mind raced as she tried to process the information she’d been bombarded with. She was so used to hating anyone with the surname ‘Cole’ (with one obvious exception), so used to seeing them as irredeemable transphobic monsters that it had genuinely never occurred to her that they might be regretful of their actions. Ellie wanted nothing more than to throw Lindsay’s apology back in her face and make her feel just as small as she’d made Ellie feel when she’d attacked her, but as Ellie looked into her eyes, she could see that Lindsay already did- and Ellie already had enough enemies for her liking.

“…And I accept your apology,” Ellie mumbled, her cheeks turning red as her four other friends all breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks,” Lindsay whispered.

“Though I am a little pissed off at you for luring me here like this,” Ellie said to Jodie, who winced and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, sorry,” Jodie grimaced. “It’s just- I- I knew if you knew Lindsay was here, you wouldn’t come, and I knew you’d all be at the concert, and I’m sick of this fight and having to choose between you guys…”

“It’s okay,” Ellie shrugged. “Everything’s out in the open now, so it’s okay.”

“Good,” Jodie said with a tired chuckle. “’Cause I’m looking forward to all of us being friends and-“

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Ellie said. “I said I accepted her apology, I never said anything about ‘friends’.”

“Oh, but-“ Jodie stuttered.

“No, just –no,” Monique scoffed. “Ell’s right, like, it’s good that we ain’t fighting no more but friends? I don’t think so!”

“Oh,” Jodie said, clearly disappointed by her friends’ responses. “I- I just thought that-“

“Isn’t Jamie-Lee Burke always saying ‘you can never have too many friends’?” Lindsay asked, making Ellie’s jaw drop in shock.

“I- I’m not sure what’s most weird,” Ellie snorted, shaking her head. “You quoting Queen Jamie or you actually wanting to be my friend!”

“I’d go for the fact that she’s ever even watched the Angels!” Kacey said with a derisive snort of laughter.

“Are you kidding?” Lindsay asked. “I LOVE the Angels. Watched every episode of it. Got loads of merchandise for my thirteenth birthday. Hell, I even had some 'Teen Angels' stuff, and who remembers them?" I might know a couple of people, Ellie smugly thought to herself. "Though now if I want to watch the show now," Lindsay continued, "I have to do it on my laptop in my room, mum’d go mental if she caught me watching it. Actually made me throw away all my Angels stuff as well when dad, well, you know. Think she actually blames Jamie-Lee Burke herself for what happened, heh.”

“Ugh, my parents are probably the same way,” Ellie spat as she sat down opposite Lindsay. Unbeknownst to both girls, Jodie was standing behind Ellie with a wide grin on her face, while Monique and Kacey watched in shock at the two former enemies talking civilly.

“Want me to get your drinks?” Keira offered, sharing Jodie’s smirk.

“Please,” Ellie said, relaxing into her chair as she listened to tales of Lindsay’s home life, her frustrations with her mother and her brother and her genuine guilt and regret at her actions at the start of Septemberr.

The six girls remained at the late night coffee shop for another hour before heading to the nearby tube station together. During that hour, Ellie and Lindsay had connected in a way the blonde girl hadn’t thought possible. Ellie discovered that she and Lindsay had more in common than either of them expected- in addition to similar tastes in music and TV, they both shared many other similar interests and, much to Ellie’s surprise, similar taste in boys- though the discussion did cause her chest to tighten when she remembered what happened the last time she’d tried to chat up a boy.

Ellie arrived back home just after 11:15pm to find the flat in total darkness and Janet fast asleep in her bed (judging by the loud snoring coming from her bedroom, anyway). Ellie quietly changed into her nightclothes and headed toward bed herself, but not before opening up Facebook on her phone and browsing to a page she’d blocked months ago. A few button presses later, Ellie was faced with the message ‘Add Lindsay Cole as your friend?’, and she paused before pressing ‘send friend request’.

Even though Lindsay had been genuine about wanting to be her friend, Ellie still felt strange about making it ‘official’. Janet would inevitably see that Ellie had a new friend, and while she would be happy for Ellie, the young woman didn’t want to get her guardian’s hopes up that she might reconcile with Lindsay as well. And then there was Lindsay’s family too- her mother and brother would inevitably be ballistic about her making friends with the girl they blamed for Ethan’s criminal record, much like Ellie’s own mother would be if she discovered that her brother regularly communicated with her. And there was no guarantee that Lindsay would accept the friend request, whether that was due to the same worries Ellie had or due to no longer wanting to be Ellie’s friend…

After a long deliberation, Ellie took a deep breath and pressed the button. Even if she didn’t accept the request out of fear of how her family would react, Lindsay would at least be able to see that the request had been sent, and receive further confirmation that Ellie’s acceptance of her apology was genuine.

Ellie was awoken the following morning by the sound of a gentle knock on her bedroom door, causing her to moan tiredly.

“Ellie?” Janet called. “You awake?”

“Ugh, I am now,” Ellie replied, running her fingers through the tangled mess that her hair had become overnight.

“Take it it was a good night, then?” Janet asked.

“The best,” Ellie replied with a grin, before gasping as she remembered the friend request she’d sent the previous night. Ellie hastily checked her phone to discover that while she had plenty of notifications from Facebook- mostly being tagged in photos from the concert, but a few private messages too- but none of them read ‘Lindsay Cole accepted your friend request’.

“You gonna get up and eat breakfast while it’s still morning, then?” Janet asked, giggling even though she couldn’t actually see Ellie roll her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Ellie sighed as she got out of bed. When she opened the door and looked Janet in the face, though, Ellie briefly paused. She hadn’t noticed it the previous night- or the other times she’d encountered Lindsay- but as she grew more feminine, Janet started to look a lot like her daughter. Ellie wasn’t looking forward to have to lie to Janet’s face about the previous night.

“I’ve seen some of the photos of last night on Facebook,” Janet said, placing a sweet-smelling cup of coffee on the kitchen table in front of Ellie. “Looked like a fun night!”

“It was,” Ellie said. “Can’t wait for the next one, hehe!” Especially as I’ll have more people to go with, Ellie thought to herself.

“I bet,” Janet chuckled. “You gonna hang out with Monique and Kacey today as usual?”

“Umm, yeah,” Ellie replied. “Just, umm, waiting for them to text me.”

“You know, there’s nothing stopping you from texting them,” Janet said.

“Umm, the cost?” Ellie retorted. "Working one day a week in a music shop doesn't exactly pay me millions..."

“You’re texting all of two people,” Janet said with a snort of laughter as Ellie cringed. “Okay, message them on Facebook then, that’s free, right?”

“Umm, I guess,” Ellie said, taking her phone out of her dressing gown pocket and opening Facebook to see that the friend request to Lindsay was still pending. “I- I’ll talk to them after breakfast.”

“That would’ve been my next suggestion,” Janet said, chuckling again as the younger woman rolled her eyes.

After finishing her breakfast, Ellie showered and got dressed in her usual tight top and short skirt combo, before opening up Facebook and sending a message off not just to Monique and Kacey, but to Jodie and Keira as well- the clear implication being that Lindsay was also invited out.

As she approached the coffee shop, Ellie began to feel nervous, even anxious about the prospect of meeting up with Lindsay for the first time ever as friends. Ellie considered the possibility that after having slept on it, Lindsay might not want to be friends after all, and might not show up, or worse, might be luring her into some kind ambush even despite her other friends’ presence.

However, when Ellie saw Lindsay sat at a table happily chatting away with Monique, all of her anxieties melted away. She wasted no time in getting her own drink and sitting down to gossip with her new friend, who greeted her like there had never been any bad blood between the two of them.

“Hey Ell!” Kacey said with a giggle.

“Hey girlies!” Ellie replied. “Soo… What’s the goss?”

“Tuesday,” Jodie answered with a wide, cheeky grin. “You know what day THAT is, right?”

“Umm… The day after Monday?” Ellie answered, frowning as her friends all giggled.

“It’s also the 31st of October?” Keira said. “Aka ‘the biggest party of the year’?”

“Oh- Halloween!” Ellie giggled. “God, must be more tired than I thought, heh!”

“Keira’s parents are out of town next week,” Monique excitedly squeaked. “And you know what that means, right?”

“Especially as Keira’s already said it,” Jodie giggled. “Biggest. Party. Of. The. Year!” Ellie grinned along with her friends at the thought of the party, even as it caused her chest to tighten.

If the thought of getting dressed up and going to a music festival left Ellie feeling ambivalent, the prospect of a Halloween party practically tore her in two. She had a million different ideas for a Halloween costume, some of which were skimpy, some were scary and some were elaborate- but all were girly, gorgeous and would show off her fledgling figure beautifully. However, the party would inevitably be loud, crowded and full of people Ellie didn’t know, and who, more importantly, didn’t know Ellie. Anybody at the party had the potential to be like Ethan Cole- a fact that was driven home from Ellie as she glanced at the face of her newest friend.

“Sou- sounds cool, heh!” Ellie chuckled as she gingerly ran her fingers along the scar on the back of her head.

“Yeah…” Monique grimaced. “Thought this’d be a problem.” Ellie felt her stomach sink and her cheeks redden as her friends turned to face her, and while their faces were all sympathetic, it didn’t stop her from feeling guilty.

“Sorry…” Ellie mumbled.

“No- YOU don’t have anything to apologise for,” Kacey said as she gave the blonde girl a gentle hug and shot a dirty look at Lindsay, whose own cheeks started to redden.

“Wh- what’s up?” Keira asked, confused by the sudden dark mood that had descended over the table.

“Ellie kinda- kinda has a problem in large crowds,” Kacey said gently.

“You seemed alright last night?” Keira asked.

“Yeah, ‘cause there wasn’t anyone there who was gonna smash a bottle over my head for being transgendered,” Ellie snorted, frowning as she saw Lindsay’s face droop further toward the table.

“…Oh,” Jodie mumbled. As Lindsay’s best friend, she was all too aware of the effect Ethan’s conviction had on the Cole family, but was only just learning of the lasting effect it had had on Ellie.

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay mumbled under her breath.

“Nah, you don’t have anything to apologise for either,” Kacey sighed. “Well, nothing you haven’t already apologised for, anyway.”

“Yeah, but-“ Lindsay said, before sighing. “I didn’t realise it was, like, THIS bad…”

“It IS getting better,” Ellie reassured her newest friend. “I wouldn’t have been able to go to the concert yesterday for a while after, well, you know.”

“We have been to a few parties the last few months,” Monique said. “But only, you know, smaller ones…”

“Don’t take that to mean I want you to, you know, make your party small on my account,” Ellie said. “I’d hate that, you know?”

“Oh- I get that,” Keira said. “But, you know, it’s, like, our first party with all six of us, yeah? Like the real Angels or something.”

“Umm, there are ten of them?” Monique retorted. “Felt I should represent them as the only non-white person at the table!”

“…Well then we’ll just have to make more friends, won’t we?” Keira said, earning giggles from all of the girls at the table- or rather, all but one. “And it’s okay if you don’t feel up for coming on Tuesday, Ellie. It’s not your fault if you still feel shitty.”

“Though I’d really like it if you could come,” Lindsay said, making Ellie sigh.

“I’d like that too,” Ellie said with a smile. “I- I’ll see how I am by Tuesday, okay?”

“Sure,” Keira shrugged.

“And we’ll keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t- well, you know…” Kacey mumbled, making Ellie bit her lip and blush- though to the blonde girl’s surprise, it was Lindsay who looked more ashamed than she did.

“I’ll make sure of it too,” Lindsay said. “Feel I owe you that much after everything my family’s done to you.” Ellie smiled as her and Lindsay’s friends all nodded, though she felt the urgent need to correct her new friend over what she’d said.

“…Not EVERY member of your family,” Ellie whispered, frowning as a dark look fell over Lindsay’s face. “Janet’s been more of a mother to me the last few months-“

“Don’t- don’t say that,” Lindsay growled, before sighing as she received five judgemental stares. “Can we change the topic, please?”

“I’m still going to have to go back home to Janet when I leave here,” Ellie said, frowning as Lindsay winced at the use of her father’s new name.

“I- I’m just not ready to deal with this yet,” Lindsay mumbled.

“You said the same thing about Ellie yesterday,” Jodie reminded her friend. "And you've been going to her Tesco, haven't you?"

"...Maybe," Lindsay mumbled.

"And you'll have to talk to her eventually," Keira said, making her friend's face screw up in frustration.

“I know, I know,” Lindsay moaned. “Just- we went to an awesome concert last night and we’re going to an awesome Halloween party on Tuesday, can we try talking about that, please?”

“Okay,” Jodie said as Ellie tried her hardest not to frown at what she perceived as a callous snub of the woman who had supported her for the last year- and who had raised Lindsay herself for the fifteen years prior to that.

As had been promised to Lindsay, the rest of the afternoon was spent talking about the concert, the party and numerous other topics- but not about Janet. Nonetheless, Ellie was able to relax and have fun with her friends, and she was forced to admit to herself that she’d had more fun than she’d had in a long time, even though all they were doing was sitting around a table gossiping.

Before the girls left the café, they big each other farewell with a round of hugs, though Ellie and Lindsay’s hug was accompanied by an awkward glance between the two of them. Still though, promises were made to meet up again the following day before the six of them returned to college the day after. As Ellie headed back home, though, she couldn’t help but feel frustrated at her new friend’s attitude toward her guardian- and guilty at the fact that she’d have to lie to Janet’s face about what she was doing that afternoon.

“Evening,” Janet said as Ellie walked through the front door of the flat and dropped her bag on the sofa, swiftly followed by her tired body. “Fun day, then?”

“Yeah,” Ellie said with a smile. “What’s for dinner?”

“I had an enjoyable day too, thanks for asking,” Janet replied, chuckling as Ellie rolled her eyes. “I’ve ordered a Chinese online, hope you’re hungry?”

“Yeah,” Ellie shrugged, getting her phone out of her bag and immersing herself in Facebook as Janet rummaged around the kitchen for plates and cutlery. A few minutes later, a knock came from the front door.

“That was quick,” Janet mused. “Can you get that?”

“Sure,” Ellie sighed as she put her phone down and got up from the sofa. When she opened the door, however, Ellie gasped as she was greeted by someone very different to the delivery man she was expecting.

“H- hi,” Lindsay said, almost hyperventilating with nerves.

“Hi,” Ellie replied, her own anxiety levels quickly rising.

“Is it the delivery man?” Janet asked from the kitchen.

“J- Janet…” Ellie stammered as she led Lindsay into the small flat.

“What is i-“ Janet asked as she entered the small living room, before gasping in shock at the sight of her daughter in her flat- and at the smile on her face. It may have been a shy, nervous smile, but it was still a smile nonetheless, and to Janet, it was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen.

“H- hi… Dad,” Lindsay said, waving nervously.

Janet stood still for what felt like an eternity as she looked deep into Lindsay’s face. It was a face she had seen countless times in her previous life as ‘John’, and while she’d only physically seen it a handful of times since becoming ‘Janet’, it was a face she kept in her mind and her heart wherever she went. Janet had resigned herself to the fact that she would never see Lindsay’s face in the flesh again, so when she saw her standing there- looking happy to see her, no less- there was only one thing Janet could do.

“Oh my god!” Janet squeaked, tears flowing freely from her eyes as she opened her arms wide for a hug, which Lindsay was only too happy to receive.

“I- I’ve missed you so much,” Lindsay blubbed.

“Not as much as I’ve missed you,” Janet whispered.

Janet and Lindsay stayed in each other’s arms for several minutes, not talking but simply enjoying the fact that they were once again in each other’s lives. They would have happily stood there for hours if not for the arrival of the delivery man with Janet and Ellie’s meal, which they were only too happy to share with Lindsay.

“I’m guessing you have a million questions,” Janet said as she dished up Lindsay's dinner for her, just as she had done hundreds of times in the past.

"More like a billion," Lindsay sighed. "I- I'm really going to struggle to get used to- well, you know, 'this'. I mean, you're my dad, but you know, you've changed?"

"Yes, I've changed," Janet said. "But me being your dad is one thing that hasn't changed and never will, I want you to believe that."

"Is that the same for Ethan?" Lindsay whispered, making both Janet and Ellie frown.

"...Yes," Janet replied. "He made a mistake. A massive, criminal mistake that he is paying for. But he's still my son, and I still love him. Even if it's obvious that he doesn't love me anymore." Janet blinked back a tear as she remembered that while she may be celebrating a victory, she still had a long, long way to go. "What are you even doing here, anyway? Does your mother know you're here?"

"God no!" Lindsay snorted. "She'd, like, have a stroke or something if she found out I'd come over here. She thinks I'm having dinner with Jodie, who's covering for me."

"You and Jodie are still friends, then?" Janet asked. "I always did like her."

"Mmm," Lindsay replied. "We go to- ah, umm, we go to the same college..."

"...I did hear what happened on your first day at college," Janet said, exchanging a glance with Ellie, who quickly pointed her reddening face at the floor.

"Yeah, I've kinda done some thinking since then," Lindsay mumbled. "We had tickets to the concert yesterday, Jodie told me Ellie'd be there, I wanted to, you know, bury the hatchet, that sorta thing."

"So- so you two are friends now?" Janet asked.

"...Getting there," Ellie said, sharing a tired giggle with her newest friend.

"I was really worried at first that I wouldn't be accepted," Lindsay said. "Then I realised that this is probably what girls like you have to go through every day, heh. And I do want to be accepted."

"You- you genuinely don't know how happy that makes me," Janet sighed.

"I don't want to end up like Ethan," Lindsay said. "He- he's so, you know, overwhelmed by anger... I thought I had to be too, you know, to support him 'cause he's my family, but you're family too, you know? And I know you can't help being who you want- who you really are inside."

"Thanks," Janet whispered. "...Eat up, your food's getting cold."

"Some things haven't changed, then," Lindsay said, making Janet smile happily as the three women ate their food.

Lindsay remained at the flat for another hour and a half, asking questions about Janet's transition and answering questions about the home that Janet had been forced to leave. Janet made sure to absorb every second of the visit, committing it to memory as though it was the last time she would ever see Lindsay, though as the 16 year old girl prepared to leave, she promised that she would return when she had the chance, even if it did mean sneaking behind her mother's back. Before she left, Lindsay took a deep breath and asked the one question she hadn't dared to ask her parent throughout her visit.

"So, umm," Lindsay said as she pulled her coat on. "How- what- umm, what do I, you know, call you? Like, is 'dad' misgendering you or something, or is 'mum' too weird, or 'Janet' too-"

"You call me whatever you want," Janet said, giving her daughter a gentle hug. "Though- though I would prefer 'dad'. I've stopped being a man, but I've not stopped being your dad."

"Okay... Dad," Ellie giggled.

"And before you go," Janet said, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, "there's just one more thing. Wait right there."

"Oh- umm, okay..." Lindsay said, before frowning in confusion as Janet returned seconds later with a brightly-wrapped package in her hands.

"I bought this last December," Janet whispered. "I- I really never thought I'd get the chance to give it to you. Merry Christmas. And, umm, happy birthday, I guess. Sixteen's kinda an important age, so I, you know, got you something anyway."

"Oh- dad..." Lindsay said as she tore open the packaging, revealing a small fabric-covered box. Lindsay carefully opened the box, and tears fell from her eyes as she saw its contents.

Inside the box was a dainty silver chain, attached to which was a small circular pendant bearing the inscription 'to my amazing daughter, who I will love forever'.

"I get that you probably can't wear it home," Janet mumbled. "It'd raise too many questions, and-" Janet yelped as her daughter surprised her with a sudden, tight hug.

"Thank you," Lindsay whispered.

"No, thank you," Janet whispered as she reluctantly let Lindsay go, waving goodbye as she shut the front door after her. "And thank you, Ellie."

"I didn't really do anything," Ellie mumbled.

"I wouldn't say 'nothing'," Janet said with a chuckle. "You didn't have to forgive Ellie, but you did, and now thanks to that, I've got my daughter back. You don't know just how big a gift that is."

"I can kinda guess," Ellie said. "I didn't have a brother for a while, remember?"

"I suppose," Janet said. "And I don't want you to think that because Lindsay’s now in my life that I'm going to, well, neglect you or anything."

"I honestly wouldn't blame you if you did," Ellie sighed as she flopped back down onto the sofa.

"Well I'd blame myself," Janet said. "Especially after what you did. So thank you again."

"Thanks," Ellie whispered. "Oh, and, umm, I'll be- I'll be kinda going to a party on Tuesday night, you know, for Halloween..."

"Will Lindsay be there?" Janet asked.

"Yep," Ellie replied with a grin.

"...Just as long as you don't stay out TOO late," Janet said with a giggle.

"Will do," Ellie said, before grinning. "...Mum." Janet smiled at the unconventional compliment as she tidied away the dishes.

For months, Janet had thought of herself as a failure of a parent, alienating her children to the point where neither of them wanted anything to do with her. Lindsay's appearance at her flat had changed all that. For the first time in a long while, Janet not only felt confident, but actually looked forward to what the future would bring. She even dared to dream that a reconciliation with her son and her ex-wife wasn't impossible- though she would happily settle for contact with her daughter for the time being.

Ellie went to the Halloween party with her five friends, having hung out with them at college during the day, and while she felt anxious due to the number of people at the party, the fact that she was among friends meant she could relax and have fun- and the fact that she was catching the eye of many of the boys in her skimpy costume did nothing to damage her confidence either.

Both Janet and Ellie knew that for all their reasons to celebrate, they still had a long way to go and many more obstacles to overcome en route to the life they desired. But for the first time in a long while, they felt prepared to face the challenges head on, and overcome anything that life put in their way. They were women, and slowly, but surely, the world was getting used to that idea.

“Ugh, feels SO good, knowing I’m not going to be back at work until Tuesday!” Meredith sighed happily as she removed her name badge and tossed it into her locker. “I mean, yes, it’s only a three day weekend, but it’s a good one, you know.”

“Oh- no arguments here!” Janet giggled, removing her own name badge and pulling on her warm winter coat. “Shannon? You looking forward to the big day?”

“Definitely,” the shy blonde girl replied, giggling as she pulled on the woolen reindeer-themed sweater, much to the delight of her friends.

“Are you hanging up your stocking on the wall…” Meredith playfully sang, before squeaking excitedly. “Eee! Just three days to go now!”

“Yep!” Janet said, outwardly sharing her friends’ enthusiasm, but internally she was filled with anxiety at the thought of the upcoming festive period.

For the second Christmas in a row, Janet would be spending Christmas isolated from her family, and this thought filled the middle-aged woman with dread. While the situation would not be as bad as it had been the previous year, thanks to her reconciliation with her daughter and her continued closeness with Ellie, the fact remained that on Christmas Day, she would have no contact with her wife or son. They would not exchange presents, or cards, or even any words during the entire festive period, and while Janet had consciously prepared herself for this reality, it still caused her a lot of pain.

She would, of course, put a brave face on, both for Ellie’s sake and her own. She would exchange gifts with Lindsay, which was more than could be said for the previous Christmas, and she wouldn’t be alone on the 25th as she’d have Ellie to keep her company. However, as close as the two transgendered women had grown, the fact remained that they would at best be ‘lonely together’ on Christmas Day. All of their other friends had their own families with whom they would spend the festive period, and while Janet didn’t begrudge them wanting to be around loved ones during that particular time of the year it only worsened her negative feelings toward it.

The one source of consolation for both Janet and Ellie was that thanks to the hormone treatments they were taking, their bodies had significantly changed over the course of the previous twelve months. 43 years of testosterone had been a lot of 'damage' to undo for Janet, but her hormone therapy had seen noticeable results. Her skin was softer, her hips had widened and slowly, but surely, breasts were beginning to grow on the front of her chest. While Ellie had only been taking hormone treatments for five months, she too had started to notice changes to her body- but the most significant changes to the two women had been to their minds.

Neither woman had been particularly 'reserved' beforehand, but ever since oestrogen had begun to dominate their bodies, they'd found it harder and harder to control their emotions, even when in public. Random, unprovoked crying fits had become a feature of their day to day lives, as had bouts of deep depression and unexplainable highs. As time went on, Janet and Ellie gradually got used to the changes, knowing that no matter what, each could rely on the other to help them through their transition.

And while they would be by themselves on Christmas Day, Janet and Ellie’s friends were only too happy to spend time with them in the days beforehand, including that particular evening.

“Do you know,” Meredith said as the three women took their seats in the warm, packed cinema, “this’ll the first Star Wars film I’ll have ever seen in the cinema?”

“Really?” Shannon asked. “I remember my parents taking me and my sister to the cinema to watch the originals when I was eight. Amanda was pretty scared by Darth Vader and REALLY didn't want to watch the other ones, heh.”

“Yeah, well I was three when Return of the Jedi came out so I was too young to watch that,” Meredith replied. “Then when the new ones came out in 1999 I was eighteen so I was too busy getting hammered all the time and, you know, Star Wars isn’t really my thing but it is a lot of fun, you know?”

“Yeah, heh,” Shannon chuckled. “Janet? You’re the one who suggested we come here today, you big into Star Wars?”

“Hmm?” Janet replied. “Umm, yes, heh. The first movie came out when I was three so I was too young for that, but I had all the comics and the toys growing up. One of my earliest memories was my dad taking me to see Empire Strikes Back when I was six.”

“Aww,” Shannon said with a giggle.

“It was- ugh, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry,” Janet sighed as she felt her emotions well up within her.

“Janet?” Shannon asked, concern creeping into her voice. “You- you okay?”

“Yeah,” Janet sniffled. “It’s just- I went to see The Force Awakens with my son when it came out and that- that was kinda the last thing we did as fath- umm, I mean, as parent and child.”

“Oh my god,” Shannon said quietly as the older woman tried to calm herself. “Are- are you sure you’re okay? I mean, we can leave if-“

“No, no, I’m okay,” Janet whispered. “I want to do this.”

“What, like, to prove that you can, sort of thing?” Shannon asked.

“I guess,” Janet shrugged. “More though ‘cause I want to see what happens with Luke Skywalker and Rey, hehe!” Janet forced a smile on her face to let her friends know that outwardly, she was okay, but on the inside, there was a very, very large part of her that desperately wished to have her son alongside her, just as he had been two years earlier.

“As long as Adam Driver gets his shirt off, I’ll be happy,” Meredith said as the cinema darkened and the LucasFilm logo appeared on the screen.

Just over two hours later, the three women emerged from the cinema with wide grins on their faces despite being greeted by the freezing cold weather.

“THAT was amazing!” Meredith giggled. “The effects are just so much more amazing on a big screen, I mean, yes, I have an HD TV and a Blu-ray player but it’s just not the same, you know?”

“Oh- definitely,” Janet said. “I mean yes, it was sad about Luke, but he’ll be back in the next film. And I really liked Yoda’s lesson too.”

“The greatest teacher, failure is,” Shannon said with a smile. “I know a LOT of people who could learn from that.” Yep, Janet thought to herself, like me, for example.

Every day when she woke up, Janet couldn’t help but feel like a failure as a parent. Despite the reassurances of her counsellor and her friends, she took the blame and the responsibility for her son’s actions- his crimes- upon herself. It had been her job to raise Ethan, and his assault of Ellie was proof that she had failed in her task. Logically, she knew that Ethan was an adult and responsible for his own actions, but it had been Janet’s job to guide Ethan, to ‘mould’ him into the man he would become, and she had not been up to the task. And, as Janet often reminded herself, her decision to transition only pushed Ethan further down the dark path he’d chosen.

However, Janet was determined to learn from her mistakes. She had been given a second chance when Ellie came into her life, and by no small miracle, was able to reconnect with Lindsay as well. Janet knew that it would require a much larger miracle for her to ever reconnect with Ethan, but that didn’t stop her from holding onto the faintest glimmer of hope…

“Ah- before I go,” Shannon said, reaching into her handbag and producing two small but well-wrapped packages. “Merry Christmas!”

“Aww, thank you!” Janet giggled, exchanging a gentle hug with the young woman. “I’ve got yours too, hehe!” Shannon and Meredith both smiled as Janet handed over their gifts, before Meredith gave her gifts to Janet and Shannon.

“I still think a Secret Santa would’ve been fun,” Meredith said, “but if you think about it, there’s no way it could work with only two people, you know? ‘Cause if, say, I picked Janet’s name, then I know that Shannon would’ve bought my gift, ‘cause the only other option would’ve been Shannon picking her own name, that sort of thing, like.”

“We’ll just have to make more friends then,” Janet said with a shrug that made both of her friends giggle. “On that topic, Ellie and her friends have done a Secret Santa this year, now there’s more than three of them.”

“Ooh,” Shannon cooed excitedly. “Who’d Ellie get?”

“She won’t even tell me, heh,” Janet replied. “Ahh… I am glad though that she’s got more friends to have fun with, especially at this time of the year. I’ll probably be home before her, heh.”

“Even though that means your actual daughter will be out late too?” Meredith asked. “By which I mean, you know, Lindsay, ‘cause she’s, like, your biological daughter, not that Ellie-“

“I know, I know, it’s okay,” Janet chuckled. “Both my girls are growing up, heh. But that’s okay too. I’m just happy being an old fart.”

“You’re not THAT old,” Meredith said. “We had fun on your birthday a couple of weeks ago, didn’t we?”

“Oh- definitely,” Janet replied. “But 44 is a long way from 24, and even that’s a long way from where Ellie and Lindsay are now.”

“Well- thanks for making me feel old, heh,” Shannon chuckled.

“Ah, you and Jason will be knee deep in kids before too long,” Janet teased. “Then you’ll be neck-deep in teenagers and wondering where your life went, heh. But trust me when I saw it’s worth it.”

“Yeah,” Shannon shyly giggled. “You two have a great Christmas, okay? If we don’t talk beforehand, I mean.”

“Yep, you too!” Janet chuckled, waving her friends goodbye as she headed toward the nearest tube station.

When she arrived home, Janet was unsurprised to find the flat empty and in total darkness. Even though it was only 8pm, Janet suspected she could have arrived home after midnight and would still have been home before Ellie- and that simple fact brought a wide smile to the older woman’s face. After her assault, Ellie had been reluctant to leave the flat for any social gathering, day or night, but as time had gone on, the younger woman had become very much the night owl. What made Janet the proudest of all was that Ellie’s ‘recovery’ was due in no small part to Lindsay’s friendship. And while Janet did worry about the girls’ safety on their nights out, she did allow herself to think that maybe she wasn’t as bad a parent as she thought…

When Janet got up the following morning, she chuckled at the sight of Ellie’s suicidally high-heeled shoes and handbag carelessly left on the floor just inside the front door, and the sound of gentle snoring coming from the young woman’s room. After making herself some breakfast, Janet switched the TV on and relaxed on the sofa, smirking as she waited for the inevitable tired, grumpy response from her flat mate.

“Ah, good morning, sunshine!” Janet said as Ellie emerged from her bedroom wrapped in her fluffy pink dressing gown and with her long blonde hair lazily draped around her head.

“…Morning,” Ellie grunted, not pausing en route to the kitchen.

“Good night last night?” Janet asked.

“Yeah, it was alright,” Elle shrugged. “The girls are coming round today, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, course it is,” Janet replied. “Assuming you’re dressed by then, anyway.”

“Ha ha,” Ellie sarcastically scoffed. “Jack’ll be coming round as well so yes, I will have clothes on by then.”

“Reckon Jack’ll cope, being in a room with six girls?” Janet asked, making her young flat mate smirk.

“Assuming I can keep Keira’s hands off him,” Ellie said with a snort of laughter.

“I thought Jack was only fifteen?” Janet asked.

“Yeah, like that’ll stop anyone,” Ellie retorted with a roll of her eyes. “Welcome to 2017, Janet.”

“Yes, yes, alright,” Janet sighed. “I was just pointing it out. I’m just worried Jack will be bored, that’s all. I know you two get on well when you’re together but in a large group…”

“He’ll be fine,” Ellie shrugged. “The girls have all met him already anyway.”

“…Okay, THAT’s news to me,” Janet chuckled. “But that’s okay, I don’t expect you to keep me up to date on everything that happens in your private life. Though if you ever plan on bringing a boy home-“

“Yes,” Ellie sighed with mock exasperation. “You’ve made your position about THAT perfectly clear.”

“Only because the walls are too thin,” Janet said. “What time are the girls- well, girls and boy coming round?”

“’Bout an hour,” Ellie shrugged. “Probably gonna head out and do a bit of Christmas shopping as well, we’ve done a secret Santa, the six of us.”

“Yeah, you’ve said,” Janet said. “You know they don’t work with only three people, you need to have a minimum of four?”

“Fascinating,” Ellie said with a sarcastic snort of laughter as she turned her attention back to her phone. Lucky I know this is a GOOD sign, Janet thought to herself as she finished her breakfast and dressed for the day in a long, cozy sweatshirt and a pair of tight, shiny leggings. A significant amount of time later, Ellie emerged from her bedroom with her face covered in thick make-up and her body clad in a tight, low-cut sweater, a scandalously short pleated skirt and a pair of shiny translucent tights. Mere minutes later, a knock came from the front door of the flat, and five excited-looking young women entered the flat, each of whom exchanged hugs with Ellie before sitting down- though one of the girls lingered behind and exchanged a long, tight hug with Janet.

“Hi, ‘dad’,” Lindsay said with a chuckle.

“Hi Lindsay!” Janet said, trying her hardest to keep her emotions in check. “You- you looking forward to Christmas, then?”

“Oh- definitely!” The 16 year old girl giggled. “I really wish you could be there, though…”

“Well I’m here, now,” Janet said. “And yes, I do have plenty of presents for you to take home.”

“Assuming I can smuggle them in,” Lindsay snorted. “It’s okay. Anything will be okay, heh.”

“Well I wouldn’t feel okay with just ‘anything’,” Janet said, before chuckling as she gave her daughter another hug. “Go on, go and play with your friends, heh!”

“Thanks, dad,” Lindsay sighed, her cheeks reddening slightly with embarrassment as she felt her friends staring at the two of them, stares that followed the 16 year old girl to the seating area in the centre of the room.

“You know,” Jodie mused as Lindsay sat down between her and Ellie, “I’ve said it before, but your dad IS cool, you know?”

“I guess,” Lindsay shrugged. “It’s still so weird though, you know? Umm, no offence, Ellie…”

“None taken,” Ellie shrugged. “It’d be weird for me too, you know, if, like, my dad came out, or even if Jack came out too, you know?”

“He’d better not,” Keira said with a devilish glint in her eye that made Ellie giggle and shake her head.

“YOU’D better not either!” The young blonde transwoman playfully cautioned.

“Does it happen a lot?” Kacey asked. “I mean, more than one person in the same family transitioning?”

“Guess it must sometimes,” Ellie shrugged. “Can see how it’d split families apart though, if one person comes out like this…” Ellie frowned and bit her lip as a dark mood lowered over the group.

“Anyway,” Monique said. “As of today, we are free women, hehe. Well, for two weeks, anyway!”

“Hell yeah we are!” Jodie giggled. “Where we gonna go today?”

“Once Jack’s here, anyway?” Ellie interjected.

"I know a place," Monique said. "Though when the Angels' coffee shop opens next month, I'm hoping you can get us, like, mates' rates?"

"We'll see," Ellie said with a sly grin.

A short while later, the six girls, accompanied by Jack, took their seats in the packed coffee shop, and within seconds the atmosphere at the table was energised by the teenagers' excitement about the upcoming festive period- even that of the shy young man, who immediately found himself the centre of attention.

"So, Jack," Keira said in a playful, flirtatious voice. "What are you expecting to get for Christmas?"

"Oh, umm, just, you know, stuff," the 15 year old boy replied. "Probably the new FIFA game, clothes, that sort of thing."

"When are you back at school?" Jodie asked.

"The 3rd," Jack replied. "Sucks that we only get two weeks at Christmas, heh."

"Decided where you're going to coll-" Keira asked, before being interrupted by a loud sigh from Jack's sister.

"Give him chance to breathe, for god's sake!" Ellie giggled, giving her younger brother a gentle cuddle. "Sorry, Jack. Some of the girls are a bit overexcited today, hehe!"

"Some of the girls are looking at Jack the same way a starving man looks at a hamburger," Lindsay teased, giggling as Keira stealthily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well sadly our parents have a few things to say about THAT too," Ellie snorted, bringing confused looks to her friends' faces.

"...No girls full stop until we're sixteen," Jack explained. "Even as, you know, 'not girlfriend' friends."

"And in my case, it was no boys ever, EVER," Ellie snorted.

"I was kinda thinking," Lindsay sighed. "My mum's kinda the same way. My dad- well, you'd probably know better than I would, heh."

"Probably," Ellie shrugged. "Fortunately Jack doesn't have to worry about THAT, heh."

"You- you're not gay, then?" Jodie asked. "'Cause you know, if you were, you're in, like, the best possible place to say-"

"I am only interested in girls," Jack said, nodding his head. "And eight months today, I might actually be allowed to have a girlfriend, heh."

"Oh god," Keira moaned. "You were born in August?"

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "It sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it, I guess."

"Anyway," Monique said, trying to re-energise the mood at the table, "it doesn't mean that you can't have fun spending time with us, hehe!"

"I guess," Jack said with a smile.

"You don't- you don't have any male friends you hang out with?" Keira asked, prompting disapproving stares from her friends. "...What?"

"How many boyfriends do you need?" Kacey asked with a sigh.

"I'll get one first and make up my mind based on how cute he is," Keira replied, giggling as she stuck her tongue out at the brown haired girl, who also let out an excited giggle.

"Good answer!" Monique chuckled. "Ah, you know we're only teasing really, Jack?"

"Yes," Jack replied with a heavy, albeit playful sigh. "THAT's something that hasn't changed." The young man smirked as he cast an accusing glance at his sister, who replied with a loud, overdramatic sigh.

"Shocked and appalled," Ellie said, before giggling and giving her reluctant brother another cuddle. "And it never will change, hehe!"

"I would say 'get a room'," Kacey chuckled, "but-"

"Eww!" Ellie and Jack said simultaneously, making their friends all laugh loudly again.

The seven teenagers remained at the coffee shop for another hour, before dispersing into nearby shops to buy their Secret Santa presents. Rather than head home, Jack took the opportunity to speak to his sister more privately- a gesture Ellie genuinely appreciated.

"Thanks for coming out today," the blonde girl said in a soft, genuine voice. "Just wish we could, you know, celebrate Christmas together properly, like we used to."

"'Like we used to'?" Jack replied. "What, you stay in your room all day and I listen to dad moan all the time?"

"I meant 'as a family', as you well know," Ellie snorted, before giggling. "But this IS better than nothing."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jack sighed. "Dad- well, mum and dad still, you know, don't talk a lot- umm, about you..."

"Not surprised," Ellie scoffed. "I mean, I'm only their firstborn and all, right?"

"Ellie, I-" Jack stammered, before sighing. "I dunno. But it's been over a year and we're still like this, you know? And if they treat you like this, I- I worry that they might so the same to me too."

"Oh- god, Jack..." Ellie sighed. "Have you tried telling mum and dad this?"

"Ugh, how, exactly?" Jack replied. "I tell dad and he gets out his 'one phrase solves everything' saying."

"'Man up'," Ellie and her brother said simultaneously, both with voices filled with disgust.

"Like, is that saying actually meant to make me feel better?" Jack spat.

"I think it's meant to make HIM feel better," Ellie snorted. "He's proved he's the big swinging dick, who cares how anyone else feels?"

"Sometimes he can be a total twat," Jack spat.

"What about mum?" Ellie asked.

"What about her?" Jack snorted. "She sat by and did nothing when dad kicked you out."

"Well- yes, I guess," Ellie sighed. "But, you know, she could help some way, I dunno."

"...Have you tried calling her?" Jack asked quietly, prompting a confused stare from his sister.

"Uh- what?" Ellie asked. "What good would THAT do?"

"Well, you know..." Jack mumbled. "You could, um, talk, I guess?"

"And then listen as the phone gets slammed down on me?" Ellie snorted. "No thank you! Got better ways to spend my Christmas."

"Well you know, it's just going to be me, mum and dad on Christmas Day," Jack said. "Since grandma died last year and Uncle Paul lives in Amsterdam..."

"If they want to apologise to me for not telling me about grandma, I'll listen," Ellie scowled, making Jack sigh.

"I- I just want to have my sister in my life," Jack said.

"I AM in your life," Ellie replied. "I'm right here. I'll go where I'm wanted, for you, sure. But for mum and dad?"

"Don't you want to be home at Christmas?" Jack asked, biting his lip as he saw tears form in his sister's eyes.

"...More than anything," Ellie confessed. "But you and I both know it isn't that easy and never will be."

"Nothing's going to change if you don't do something about it," Jack mumbled, before sighing as his phone beeped. "...Ugh, it's dad, wanting to know where to pick me up."

"And as always, the answer is 'as far away from me as possible'," Ellie sighed. "It's okay. You have a good Christmas if I don't see you before, okay?"

"You too," Jack said, blinking back tears of his own as he shared a gentle hug with his sister before heading away through the crowd.

With her company gone, Ellie wasted no time in picking out a present for her 'Secret Santa', and after having it wrapped, headed back to her flat where she found Janet busy wrapping presents- many of which got hastily hidden when the teenaged girl opened the front door.

"A bit of warning before you come barging in, please?" Janet chastised the seventeen year old girl, before smirking. "Did you have fun today?"

"Loads," Ellie replied, sneakily craning her head to try to see where Janet had hidden her presents, only for the older woman to cut her off with a smile. "Meh, had to try, hehe!"

"You'll see your presents soon enough," Janet chuckled. "Did you get your Secret Santa present done?"

"Yep," Ellie replied, earning a quizzical stare from her flat mate.

"...Well?" Janet asked. "Who did you get?"

"Keira," Ellie replied with a sigh. "Was kinda hoping to get Lindsay, heh."

"Yeah, I was too," Janet chuckled. "And I'm glad you were as well. I know this'll sound- well, it'll sound like SOMETHING, but- but I am glad you and her are becoming such good friends."

"Yeah, me too," Ellie said. "And the word you're looking for is 'cringey'. Even if your point is right."

"Thanks, I think," Janet chuckled. "You going to hand your presents over tomorrow after work?"

"That's the plan," Ellie sighed. "Ugh, now this WILL sound stupid, but- even with work, I'm looking forward to tomorrow more than I am Christmas Day, you know?"

"Yeah," Janet sighed sadly. "I know EXACTLY what you mean. While you're out, Lindsay will be coming over, so I can kinda, you know, have my family Christmas then."

"Yeah, that was me today," Ellie sighed.

"...Let's not make this a competition, okay?" Janet asked, making Ellie wince.

"Sorry, sorry," Ellie mumbled.

"No- no, it's okay," Janet sighed. "We got through last Christmas together, we'll get through this one as well. And we are in a much better position than we were last year, right? With your studies and Jack, and me and Lindsay, right?"

"Yeah, that's true," Ellie said with a smile. "What's for dinner tonight?"

"Whatever's in the cupboard, same as always," Janet replied with a grin as Ellie rolled her eyes and, taking the hint, headed through to the kitchen to prepare their evening meal.

After filling their stomachs, the two women opted for an early night, both wanting to be relaxed and refreshed for the following day.

The Sun had yet to rise when the two women's alarms went off on Christmas Eve morning, but they were both already awake and eager to get a head start on what the day had in store for them. By the time Ellie had left for work, Janet had cleaned the flat from top to bottom, rearranged the ornaments on their Christmas tree twice and already started preparing the special lunch she'd planned out for the day. Despite her enthusiasm, though, Janet was still flustered when the flat's doorbell rung just after 10am. However, all of her emotions were replaced by a feeling of pure joy when she opened the front door to be greeted by the smiling face of her daughter.

"Hi dad!" Lindsay said in an emotional voice as she gave her parent a tight hug, before taking off her coat and dropping a bag of presents onto the sofa. "That food smells AMAZING, hope you didn't go to too much trouble..."

"You're joking, right?" Janet replied, taking a subtle deep breath to compose herself. "First Christmas with my daughter in what feels like forever, you bet I'm going to go to trouble!"

"Thanks," Lindsay whispered bashfully. "I- I love your dress, is that new?"

"I've had it a while," Janet said, showing off the dark knee-length, long-sleeved garment. "It's probably my fanciest dress, heh. Wanted to make an effort there too, heh."

"Well I- I love it," Lindsay said. "Do you want a hand in the kitchen?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks," Janet replied, before letting out a sigh. "And Lindsay- relax, okay? I want this to be a special day. I want this to be OUR day. I want you to feel at home because as far as I'm concerned, this is your home, any time you want it to be."

"Th- thanks," Lindsay said, before wiping a tear away from her eye. "You know I'd love that too, I just- I just wish it could be that easy."

"I know you do," Janet said, "I do too. But we have this. So let's make the most of it, okay?"

"Okay," Lindsay replied.

"So tell me about college!" Janet chuckled. "Tell me about everything you couldn't tell me yesterday in front of your friends. Do you still play netball?"

"Nah, kinda grew out of it," Lindsay replied.

"Ah, where have I heard THAT before?" Janet teased, chuckling as her daughter rolled her eyes. "Brownies, piano lessons, ballet- pity you dropped that last one, I could've had a word with Steph to see if I could get you into her Angel friend's class?"

"Uh- ew?" Lindsay sneered in reply. "Squeezing my body into a leotard for an hour at a time? I'd pay NOT to do that."

"Hardly a 'squeeze'," Janet retorted. "There's hardly an ounce of fat on you. Heh, unlike me..."

"...You're hardly 'fat'," Lindsay replied. "You're a lot thinner than when you were, well, you know..."

"Aww, thanks!" Janet chuckled. "And yes, I do 'know'. And yes, I do know- well, I can imagine, anyway- how awkward you must feel right now. But believe me, you shouldn't. I know I've said this a thousand times, but of all the things about me that's changed, my love for you isn't one of them. And it never will be."

"Yes, I know," Lindsay replied with a loud sigh. "And I'm trying, believe me, I really am. It's just- ugh, I dunno. I'm spending Christmas Eve with my dad, who's wearing a dress. Bet there aren't many people who can say THAT, right?"

"Probably not," Janet conceded. "But that doesn't make it 'wrong'."

"I realise that now," Lindsay whispered with a shy smile, before letting out a chuckle. "And to answer your first question, college is going great, I reckon I'll probably go on to university in 2019."

"Doing archaeology?" Janet asked.

"Or just, you know, history in general," Lindsay replied.

"Thought about where, yet?" Janet asked, trying not to grimace as her daughter paused.

"...I'd like to stay in London," Lindsay said quietly. "I mean, it's where all the best jobs are, and..."

"You don't want to move away from family?" Janet asked softly, blinking back a tear as the young woman nodded. "I understand that."

"I'd like a place of my own, though," Lindsay said. "I remember you telling me about some of the things you did when you were at university."

"Well- not ALL the things," Janet mumbled, remembering the times when 'Janet' had been a regular feature of 'John's university life. "Though it does make me proud to see you becoming, you know, independent, your own woman. Umm, think the food's almost done..."

"Cool," Lindsay said, glancing down at the present-filled bag she'd dropped beside her on the sofa. "Do you- umm, do you want to, you know, do presents now, or after food?"

"I hope you haven't spent too much of your money on me," Janet said with a look of concern on her face.

"...They weren't free," Lindsay mumbled. "And some of them are, you know, the secret Santa as well, that sort of thing..."

"I'm sure whatever you've got will be perfect," Janet said with a warm smile. "Who'd you get in the secret Santa?"

"It's a SECRET," Lindsay replied with a smug grin, before giggling as the older woman shot her a stern look. "Okay, okay, I- I actually got Ellie. I was kinda hoping I would, heh. After, you know, the concert..."

"I know," Janet whispered. "And I'm glad, heh. What did you get her?"

"Just a little picture thing," Lindsay shrugged. "Something that says 'blondes have the most fun', reckon she'd like that, heh."

"I'm sure she will," Janet said. "And to answer your question, presents AFTER food. That way maybe you won't run off immediately after eating!"

"No chance of that," Lindsay said with a grin as she helped her father dish up the meal she'd prepared.

After they ate, Janet and Lindsay exchanged their presents, both women expressing their delight at the gifts they received. Janet was especially happy with her spa day vouchers and make-up set, while Lindsay was over the moon with her one-of-a-kind CD of unreleased songs from Out of Heaven, particularly as it had been autographed by two of the band's members!

When the time came for Lindsay to leave, both women were barely able to suppress their tears at being separated again, and as they exchanged a hug, they promised each other that it would not be long before their next meeting- a meeting that both were already planning. After Lindsay left, Janet sat back down on the sofa and examined her presents again, but secretly, it was the card that she treasured the most. It was just a simple gesture- a piece of cardboard with 'To Dad, with Love from Lindsay' written on it, but it was concrete evidence that things were improving for her, and something she never ever intended to throw away.

"Hey girlies!" Lindsay said as she met the rest of her friends outside the music shop where Ellie worked, all six girls shivering in the cold December air.

"Hey Linds!" Jodie giggled. "Had a good day with your- well, umm, dad?"

"It was great," Lindsay replied with a grin. "So, then... Are we gonna do these presents or what?"

"Yes, yes, keep your knickers on!" Monique giggled. "Just gonna wait for my fella to get here, gonna give them all to him so that no one cheats, hehe!"

"As if we would!" Keira scoffed. "And thanks for rubbing it in that you've got a fella!"

"Maybe Ellie got you in the secret Santa and she's wrapped up Jack for you?" Lindsay teased, beaming as both Keira and Ellie rolled their eyes at her joke. Internally, though, Ellie loved the joke, not because of how funny it was, but because it was proof that no matter how superficially different she was from the other five girls, she knew that they were all her friends, and would be for many years to come.

When she arrived home, Ellie dropped down onto the sofa with a smile on her face and Secret Santa present in her hands. While she didn't fully agree with the phrase on the framed picture, she was forced to conclude that her Christmas had been much more fun than the previous year's- and in many ways, more fun even than the sixteen she'd celebrated beforehand.

"Good day?" Janet asked from the kitchen. "We're having leftovers for dinner, if that's alright?"

"Yeah, that's okay," Ellie replied with a smile. "And yes thanks, definitely enjoyed it, heh!"

"I'm glad to hear it," Janet said. "Is- is Lindsay okay?"

"...Didn't you only see her a few hours ago?" Ellie asked in reply.

"I'm a parent, sue me for asking," Janet replied with a snort of laughter.

"She was fine," Ellie shrugged. "She was the one who got me in the Secret Santa, wasn't she?"

"...Did she tell you, or something?" Janet asked.

"It was kinda obvious," Ellie giggled. "From the look on her face. Think she wants a 'sister' just as much as me, heh."

"Can't think of anyone better qualified for the job," Janet said with a giggle as she placed a plate of microwaved food in front of the blonde girl. "You ready for tomorrow?"

"Ugh, no..." Ellie moaned. "But- but it's just one day. The Queen says a few things on TV, we watch some movies, same as any other bank holiday, right?"

"...Right," Janet said softly, even though she knew deep down that Ellie was dreading Christmas Day- possibly even more than Janet herself was.

The following morning, Janet and Ellie rose early and exchanged their gifts to each other, which mainly consisted of perfume and cosmetics sets, gift vouchers for clothing stores and the odd DVD. It wasn't even 9am by the time all the presents had been opened and the wrapping paper cleared away, and already the two women were feeling anxious.

Despite Janet's best efforts to distract herself and Ellie with Christmas Day television, her mind continually drifted back to her home, the life she had built with her wife and her two children, and the second Christmas that they would not be spending together as a family. Janet had hoped that Lindsay's visit the previous day would help to lessen her feelings of depression, but the reality was that it had had the opposite effect. And it wasn't just Lindsay that Janet missed, but Ethan too, and even her wife.

Not for the first time, Janet wondered whether or not being able to live her life the way she needed too was worth the high price she'd paid. Those thoughts, however, were soon pushed out of her mind when she reminded herself that she had people who depended on her- or rather, one person who relied on her. Just as much as 'John' had tried- and ultimately, failed- to be a positive male role model for Ethan, Janet knew that she had to be a positive female role model for Ellie. Janet freely acknowledge to herself that responsibilities were a poor substitute for the love of her family, but they were better than nothing- and she could tell from the look on Ellie's face that her Christmas was just as bad as her own.

Like Janet, Ellie's thoughts were centred on her family, and the second Christmas that they would spend without her. However, unlike Janet, Ellie had been given a lifeline. Jack had all but begged her to call the house on Christmas Day, and Ellie was struggling with the dilemma- on the one hand, she wanted more than anything to be a part of her family again, if not for her sake then for her brother's, but on the other hand, the way that Ellie's family had treated her made her genuinely believe that they didn't deserve to have her forgiveness or her love. The mere act of pulling on a skirt had made her mother and father completely write off the previous sixteen years and terminate their love for her like she was an item of clothing that had torn and needed to be thrown out. Ellie knew that that was not how good parents were supposed to act- Janet had demonstrated that on countless occasions over the previous two years. And yet, they were still her parents, and she knew how much the call would mean to Jack...

"I- I'm going to my room for a bit," Ellie said softly, rising from the sofa on wobbly legs.

"Oh- umm, okay," Janet said. "I'll get some lunch ready about 1pm if that's okay?"

"Sure," Ellie said as she closed her bedroom door behind her and took a deep breath. "Okay Jack, I hope you're right about this..." Ellie flopped down onto her bed and unplugged her phone from the wall, twiddling it around in her fingers several times as she tried (and repeatedly) failed to muster up the courage to make the call she'd desperately wanted to make countless times over the prior 14 months. She didn't even have her parents' home number saved in her phone, but she didn't need to- it was a number she knew better than her own phone number.

Slowly, Ellie plucked up the courage to type the numbers into the phone, though with each key she pressed, her nerves intensified. By the time all eleven digits were showing on the screen, her entire body was trembling with nerves. But Ellie knew that if she didn't press 'call', she would regret it for the rest of her life.

"Okay, here we go," Ellie said with a breathless gasp as she held the phone to her ear and waited for it to be answered. After just three rings, her wait came to an end.

"Hello?" The polite voice of Ellie's father said, making the teenaged girl's heart skip a beat.

"H- hi... Dad," Ellie said, her voice quivering and breaking under the emotional strain she felt. "I- umm, just- Merry Christmas!" A pause came from the other end of the line, and for a brief second, Ellie allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe Jack had been right, and she'd given her family the best Christmas gift they'd ever received...

"What the hell are you doing calling us?" Ellie's father hissed, bringing tears to his daughter's eyes as she bit her lip to try to control herself. "Are you calling to try to ruin our Christmas?"

"I- I just-" Ellie sobbed.

"I thought I made myself very clear," the older man snarled. "You are not welcome in this family, now or ever! Go crawling back to that old paedophile you've shacked up with, and if you ever, EVER contact us again, I will have you locked up for harassment! Do I make myself clear!?" Ellie took a deep breath to calm the anger that had boiled up within her. It would've been easy to respond to her father with the same aggression, but that would only give him the ammunition her so clearly wanted.

"...Give my love to mum and Jack," Ellie said stoically. "Wish them a merry Christmas from me."

"Your brother is much happier without you poisoning his mind!" Ellie's father spat down the phone, before unceremoniously slamming the phone down and leaving his daughter an emotional wreck.

"Lying bastard," Ellie whispered to herself as she placed her phone back on its nightstand. "F- fascist old cunt!" Ellie flopped forward onto her bed and let the tears freely flow as she tried to process the rejection she had just endured, wondering whether or not it hurt more than the first time she'd been rejected the year before...

In her distraught state, Ellie had lost track of time, and was startled when Janet knocked on her door.

"Ellie?" The older woman asked. "You okay in there? Kettle's boiling if you want a cup of tea?"

"No thanks," Ellie replied in a hoarse voice that immediately put Janet on alert.

"Ellie?" Janet asked, slowly opening the bedroom door. "Are- are you- oh- oh god, Ellie, what happened?"

"I-" Ellie sniffled. "I tried to call my- my par-" Janet immediately sat down next to Ellie and held her in her arms as the teenaged girl sobbed uncontrollably.

"It's okay, it's okay," Janet whispered. "Just take your time. Anything you need, you let me know, okay?"

"Th- thanks," Ellie whispered, before taking a deep breath and making a decision. "...Mum."

As Ellie cried, it was all Janet could do not to shed tears of her own.

The two women spent the rest of their Christmas Day watching television, eating the previous day's leftovers and immersing themselves in social media to remind themselves that while their family lives were less than perfect, they both still had plenty of friends who loved them.

Janet in particular found herself browsing Twitter with a smile on her face after the broadcast of the traditional Doctor Who Christmas special- for the first time in the 54 year history of the show, the title character was to be played by a woman, and the initial response to the character's change had been a positive one. Janet thought back to when she had been a child watching Tom Baker and Peter Davison in the role, and to when she'd introduced her son to the show when it had returned with Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant in the title role. She wondered whether or not Ethan still watched the show, and how he would react to seeing one of his childhood heroes become a woman- and whether or not it would affect his attitude toward her...

Ellie, for her part, had her spirits lifted by a simple two line message from her brother. 'Sorry it didn't go well,' Jack had typed. 'See you 10am tomorrow at your place?' Ellie didn't require any time to think about her response, and both Janet and Ellie felt happier the following day as they entertained both Jack and Lindsay in their flat.

Even though their Christmas had been filled with disappointment and turmoil, both Janet and Ellie emerged from it in one piece, ready to face the following year with the support of their friends and at least part of their families. Little did either woman know the challenges that would await them in 2018...

“Have fun,” Janet said as her young friend headed out of the flat’s front door. “Again!”

“Thanks,” Ellie replied, already looking forward to the Friday ahead of her- but moreso the Saturday after that.

For the prior four days, Ellie and her friends had been relaxing and enjoying a well-earned half term break. However, what had the girls- especially Ellie- most excited was the Saturday at the end of the half term break, as it marked exactly eighteen years to the day since Ellie was born. However, as excited as Ellie was to finally become an adult, she also felt a sense of anxiety about the whole thing.

Following the confrontation with her family on Christmas Day, Ellie had made a conscious effort not to dwell on her relationship with her parents, deeming it to be damaged beyond repair. Ellie instead focused on the positives in her life, of which she had many- her college course was going well, she had already received conditional offers from universities for the coming September, she had a close-knit group of true friends and she had a more than adequate ‘substitute family’ in both Janet and Jack, with whom she seemed to spend more and more of her free time. And yet, as hard as she tried, Ellie couldn’t help but fixate on her parents as her most important birthday approached. She was still their firstborn whether they liked it or not, and they were her parents whether she liked it or not. They should be celebrating with Ellie, but they likely wouldn’t even acknowledge the big day, and as hard as Ellie tried not to care, with the words of her father still ringing in her ears from Christmas, she still secretly hoped for a birthday surprise from them…

“Hey Miss Birth-eve Girl!” Monique teased, giggling as Ellie approached the table where she, Kacey, Lindsay, Keira and Jodie were sat.

“Hey girls!” Ellie giggled. “Are we going guy-less today, then?”

“Meh, we thought about it,” Monique chuckled, glancing at the service counter of the posh coffee shop in which they were sat.

“But we decided to put them to work today instead,” Kacey said with a smug grin as her boyfriend returned to the table along with Jodie’s boyfriend and Ellie’s brother, each carrying trays full of drinks. Needless to say, Ellie had a wide grin on her face as Jack handed her her drink and sat down beside her.

“This had better not be my birthday present from you,” Ellie teased her brother, who blushed and rolled his eyes.

“No, but us fetching drinks for you when this place has waitresses counts as our present,” Max- Jodie’s boyfriend- said, grinning as Ellie snorted derisively at him.

“Behave,” Jodie chastised her boyfriend, before giggling as he wrapped his arm around her waist, an action that caused Ellie a twinge of envy. “So what’s the plan for tomorrow, then?”

“Dunno yet,” Ellie shrugged. “Probably hanging out at my place if that’s okay with all you?”

“Sure,” Lindsay replied. “Already looking forward to it, heh!”

“Is- is it, you know, ‘girls only’ tomorrow?” Jack asked nervously.

“Yeah,” Ellie sighed sadly. “It’d be a bit of a hard sell to Janet.”

“Yep, I can vouch for that,” Lindsay chuckled. “I’m sure she’d make an exception for you though, Jack.”

“Yeah,” Jack sighed sadly. “But I’m pretty sure mum and dad are going to find some excuse to keep me occupied all day.”

“Yeah, I can vouch for THAT,” Ellie snorted. “But I’m not going to let them ruin tomorrow the way they ruined Christmas.”

“Damn right WE’RE not!” Monique said with a wide grin, which brought a grin to Ellie’s face. As much as she dwelled on her relationship with her parents, Ellie was always comforted with the knowledge that she could always rely on her REAL family, regardless of whether they were related by blood.

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered, blinking back tears from her eyes.

“Well, if I won’t see you tomorrow,” Jack said, producing a carrier bag full of carefully wrapped gifts from underneath his chair, the sight of which made Ellie squeak excitedly. “Happy birth-eve, sis!”

“Aww, thanks, bro!” Ellie giggled, giving her reluctant brother a tight hug. “Must have been a pain getting these out the house unnoticed?”

“Yes,” Jack replied bluntly. “Go on then, open them?”

“Yeah, go on!” Jodie urged as wide grins spread across the faces of everyone sat at the table- none wider than Ellie’s herself. With a loud giggle, Ellie tore the wrapping off of the first gift, sighing happily as she revealed a small, dainty necklace with a pendant that read 'big sister'. Ellie’s grin widened as she opened her other presents, including a set of scented soaps and a small picture frame, and even though the gifts had little monetary value, she treasured each one like it was made out of solid gold.

“You really shouldn’t have spent so much on me,” Ellie chastised her younger brother, who simply shrugged in response.

“You’re my sister,” Jack replied, before grimacing as Ellie leaned in for another long, tight hug.

“D’aww,” the other girls at the table all cooed happily, even as Jack tried to wriggle out of his sister’s embrace.

“Yes, yes, okay,” the fifteen year old boy complained. “You know I don’t like being touched.”

“More’s the pity, right?” Monique teased Keira , who simply rolled her eyes in response.

“Ah, leave him alone,” Ellie chuckled as she went in for another hug with the squirming boy.

“Thanks,” Jack snorted sarcastically. “Just wish mum and dad would pull their heads out of their arses though.”

“Yeah, I’m not holding my breath,” Ellie spat. “Or wasting any on them.”

“Hell yeah,” Kacey chuckled, remind Ellie that she wasn’t the only one sat at the table who had a troubled relationship with their parents. “Soon as college is done I can’t wait to get away, live by myself.”

“…Kinda rubbing it in, aren’t you?” Jodie criticised, glancing furtively at Ellie.

“It’s okay,” Ellie shrugged. “For starters, you’ve never met Kace’s dad.” Jodie smiled sympathetically as Kacey nodded, a sad, tired expression on her face.

“And when I turn eighteen,” Jack said defiantly, “our- sorry, MY parents are going to regret a lot of what they’ve done to Ellie.” Ellie smiled smugly as her brother nodded, a determined look on his face.

“Okay, okay, we’re being brought down again,” Monique said. “And as I said, WE won’t let your shitty family ruin your day! So here’s what we’re going to do. Anyone who’s hungry can get lunch here, then we go and see Black Panther, right?.”

“Sounds good to me!” Ellie giggled as she attracted the attention of a nearby waitress.

“Hi, how can I help?” The waitress, a blonde-haired teenaged girl whose nametag read ‘Laura’ asked.

“We’d like to order some food, please,” Monique replied, before a wide grin spread across her face. “And one extra-rich chocolate birthday cupcake!”

“Aww, whose birthday is it?” Laura asked, giggling excitedly as Ellie raised her hand. “Ah, happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” Ellie said, her cheeks starting to redden. “It’s actually tomorrow, not today, though.”

“I’ll have to clear the free cupcake with my manager, then,” Laura said, “but I’m sure she’ll okay with it, hehe! Doing anything special tomorrow?”

“Yep,” Ellie replied, a wide, contented smile spreading across her face. “Hanging out with all of my friends.”

“You can never have too many,” Laura said with a wide, genuine grin of her own as she noted down the table’s orders on her notepad.

Many hours later, after a filling lunch and an exciting film, Ellie returned to her flat, where she found Janet hard at work preparing their evening meal. After kicking off her shoes, Ellie dropped her handbag onto the sofa, before dropping herself onto the sofa next to it with a long, contented sigh.

“Good day out?” Janet asked.

“GREAT day,” Ellie replied. “You still okay with everyone coming over tomorrow?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Janet chuckled. “You only turn eighteen once, and god knows you deserve to enjoy yourself and be spoiled after- well, after everything.”

“Yeah,” Ellie sighed. “And believe me, I am going to enjoy myself. On that topic, have you bought any booze for tomorrow?”

“You know my rules about that,” Janet replied with an annoyed sigh. “My 16 year old daughter is coming here tomorrow and I am not going to let her get pissed!”

“Okay, okay,” Ellie said. “…I’ll just have buy it with my own money, then. Because from tomorrow, I CAN.” A deep frown spread across Janet’s face, but it was quickly replaced by a happy grin.

“Just as long as Lindsay stays away from them,” the older woman. “If she goes home pissed, her mother will ask why, and there’s no final outcome of that that’s good.”

“Okay, okay,” Ellie sighed. “It’s not going to be a massive, wild party, just a few friends.”

“Yes, I know,” Janet said softly. “Especially as you said you didn’t want any BOYS here, heh.” Ellie bit her lip as Janet reminded her that she’d earlier lied to her friends about the reason boys were prohibited from attending the party.

“Yeah, heh,” Ellie replied nervously.

“Not that I disapprove of you going celebrate,” Janet said in a quiet, concerned voice as she left the kitchen and sat down next to Ellie, “but-“

“Honestly, I’m fine,” Ellie replied defensively, before letting out a soft sigh. “Okay, maybe not TOTALLY fine, I dunno. I just- I don’t NEED a boy right now, you know?”

“I think so,” Janet whispered.

“It’s not like I’m gonna become a nun,” Ellie mumbled, feeling her cheeks start to redden. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Okay,” Janet said softly. “But if you ever need to talk, I-“

“Thanks,” Ellie interrupted. “But I’d rather not talk about my sex life with my-“ Ellie paused, conscious of the fact that the next word out of her mouth was going to be the word ‘mother’. Ellie's relationship with Sharon, her biological mother, had never been the strongest, especially as her father had insisted on raising Ellie as a 'chip off the old block'. The more Ellie thought about it, the more she realised that she'd probably exchanged more words with Janet in the few months she'd been living with her than she'd exchanged with her mother in the sixteen years beforehand. Which meant that in a way, Janet WAS more like her mother than Sharon had ever been...

Even though Ellie didn’t finish her sentence, Janet instinctively knew what the next word would have been, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying as she returned to the kitchen. Ellie calling Janet ‘mum’ at Christmas had been the greatest gift the older woman had received, and even though it hadn’t happened again in the intervening two months it gave Janet a sense of reassurance that she may not have been the greatest father to either of her children, but she was far from a failure as a parent.

After dinner, the two women spent the rest of the evening relaxing, watching TV and chatting with their friends online before both heading to bed just after 1pm. However, Janet’s sleep would be short-lived, as her alarm woke her just before 6am the following morning. Even though she strongly suspected that Ellie wouldn’t be in any rush to get out of bed early, especially on a cold February morning, Janet didn’t want to take any chances.

Sure enough, just before half past seven, Ellie got out of bed, and as she walked into the living room, her jaw dropped at the sight that greeted her.

The entire room had been draped in shimmering pink and silver streamers, along with shiny fuchsia-coloured bunting that read ‘Happy Birthday’ and two large silver balloons, one in the shape of a ‘1’ and the other in the shape of an ‘8’. The sofa was covered in a large pile of presents, each one covered in shiny wrapping paper, and the coffee table was decorated with eighteen tiny cupcakes, each one decorated with pink frosting and arranged to spell ‘happy birthday Ellie’.

“Oh my god!” The birthday girl squeaked, tears slowly trickling down her cheeks.

“Happy birthday miss- sorry, MS adult!” Janet giggled, approaching the emotional girl and giving her a tight hug.

“This is so much!” Ellie squeaked. “This is too much!”

“Rubbish,” Janet said dismissively. “Like I said yesterday, you’ve earned this. You DESERVE this.”

“My sixteenth was NOTHING like this,” Ellie said with a tired chuckle as she sat down net to her presents and sipped the sweet-tasting mug of coffee that Janet placed in front of her. “Just a pile of presents, cards from mum, dad and Jack and then off to school, heh.”

“Well at least number eighteen’s on a Saturday, heh!” Janet chuckled. “So you’ve got the whole day to enjoy it. Do you know when the rest of the girls will be around?”

“About ten,” Ellie replied. “Thank you so much for all of this, Janet…”

“Hey,” Janet said softly. “It’s nothing, really. Being your guardian means more than just feeding you and giving you a place to sleep.”

“Well- thanks,” Ellie chuckled, her attention flickering between Janet and the pile of presents next to her. “Can- can I open-“

“Go right ahead,” Janet chuckled, sitting down in her chair and watching with a wide grin on her face as Ellie excitedly tore into the gifts.

Despite the size of the pile, it only took the 18 year old girl ten minutes to open all her gifts, which included cosmetics and perfume sets, toiletries, gift cards and a large pile of clothes. By the time the clock ticked 10am, Ellie was ready for the day ahead, dressed in a new midriff-baring top, a short pleated skirt and a pair of very chunky platform shoes that made Ellie feel like the most stylish and gorgeous girl in the world. Shortly afterward, a knock came from the front door, and when Ellie opened it, she was immediately swamped in a group hug by five other teenaged girls.

“Happy birthday happy birthday!” Kacey squeaked, echoed by Monique, Lindsay, Jodie and Keira. “Ah, you look amazing!”

“Thanks!” Ellie giggled, twirling to show off her new dress. “You guys look great too, thank you SO much for coming today…”

“Uh- like we’d be anywhere else?” Monique giggled. “Now sit yourself down, Princess Ellie, your courtiers are going to take care of your every need today!”

“Especially your thirst needs!” Kacey giggled as Monique produced two bottles of wine and six cans of beer from a carrier bag, which made Ellie giggle excitedly but brought a frown to Janet’s face.

“That had better be all the alcohol you’ve brought,” Janet said sternly, earning a stealthy eye roll from the birthday girl and a quiet moan of embarrassment from her daughter.

“Dad…” Lindsay grimaced as the other girls (with the obvious exception of Ellie) began to giggle.

“So I don’t want my underage daughter getting drunk when she’s somewhere other than where she told her mother she’d be,” Janet protested. “Sue me for being a concerned parent.” Janet’s frown began to slip, however, when she saw how red the two girls’ faces were becoming. “…Okay, have fun you six. But take care, okay?”

“Sure thing,” Lindsay said, before sighing and giving Janet a gentle hug. “Thanks, dad.”

“Thanks, mum,” Ellie giggled as she also gave Janet a gentle hug, before leading the girls to the cramped seating area where the first bottle of wine was quickly opened.

Within minutes, the atmosphere in the small flat was buzzing with excitement. Ellie wasted no time in opening her gifts from her friends including more cosmetics, CDs and unique hair accessories, which weren’t as expensive as the gifts given by Janet, but which Ellie treasured nonetheless.

Janet watched from the kitchen with pride as the six girls ate and drank, sang and danced along to the new CDs and took what seemed to Janet to be a million selfies each. Ellie had had so many setbacks in her life, but had worked so hard to overcome them that Janet knew she deserved the chance to kick back and celebrate. What made Janet the proudest, though, was the ever-strengthening friendship between Ellie and Lindsay, even if it did bring with it the occasional glimmer of hope that she might eventually reconcile with the rest of her family. Janet knew that such hopes were futile, but she wouldn’t allow that to depress her. She, like Ellie, had a lot of close friends who would be there for her, a ‘substitute family’ who’d help her out when she was down. As notification of an incoming Skype call came on Janet’s laptop, Janet’s thoughts turned to the friend who she’d met when she was at her lowest, and who’d introduced her to Ellie and changed her life immeasurably. ‘You can never have too many friends’, Janet thought to herself as she got up, placed the laptop down in front of the confused eighteen year old and clicked on the ‘accept call button’.

“Happy birthday Ellie!” The unmistakable, famous face of Stephanie Abbott cheered from the screen, causing Ellie and the other girls to squeal with excitement as they gathered around the laptop. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there in person today, I’m up in Manchester for a friend’s wedding, but that hasn’t stopped me- well, us- from splashing out, hehe!” Ellie squeaks increased in pitch as Steph motioned to over her shoulder, where her- and Ellie’s- friends Nikki Phillips-Thomas and Jacinta Hanley were stood with wide grins on their faces.

“Oh my god!” Ellie squeaked as Janet briefly left the room, returning with yet another bag of gifts. “You didn’t need to do this, really…”

“Uh- like we wouldn’t?” Nikki replied. “For our sister on her most important birthday of all?”

“…Thanks,” Ellie mumbled as she began carefully opening the presents, gasping as she uncovered expensive gifts including a bottle of designer perfume, a new pair of expensive sunglasses and a rare book on music theory.

“I’m going to try to drop in tomorrow to see you on my way home,” Stephanie explained. “Assuming you don’t celebrate too hard tonight, of course!”

“I’ll make sure of that,” Janet said, smirking as Ellie rolled her eyes.

“If they start dancing on the table singing Shania Twain, that’s your cue to call it a day,” Stephanie teased, giggling as one of the women behind her let out a loud groan.

“Oh- are you ever going to let me forget that?” Nikki grumbled.

“I’m amazed you can remember any of it,” Stephanie retorted, giggling louder as her friend stuck her tongue out at her. “Anyway, Ellie, you have fun today, okay? I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you when I can.”

“I will, thank you so much!” Ellie giggled, waving at the screen as the famous singer smiled and ended the call.

“Oh my god, that is so cool!” Jodie gushed. “You are SO lucky to have a friend like her…” Ellie opened her mouth, ready to retort that she didn’t feel lucky, what with her family situation, her lack of a love life and her still suffering the effects of Ethan’s assault, but the more she thought about it, the more Ellie was forced to conclude that Jodie was right. There were a lot of girls who were estranged from their parents who didn’t have the friendship and support of someone as rich and influential as Stephanie Abbott, or Jamie-Lee Burke. There were a lot of girls who didn’t have friends like the five teenagers who surrounded Ellie, or the support of a parental figure like Janet. And most importantly, there were many girls who weren’t allowed, or weren’t able to be girls at all. Ellie’s life had many negatives, sure- but there were plenty of positives to her life as well.

The six girls left the flat shortly after noon for lunch and a lengthy shopping trip, with Lindsay hanging back to give her father a tight hug before joining the rest of her friends. While none of the girls had much money, they nonetheless traipsed through several stores window shopping, trying on clothes and shoes and never losing the smiles on their face.

The six girls dispersed shortly after 5:30pm and headed back to their respective homes, all of them excited following their day out and none moreso than Ellie. Many of the girls at college had celebrated their eighteenth birthday with loud, expensive parties or nights on the town, and while Ellie had been jealous of them at the time, the day had taught her that a party or a celebration isn't about what you do, but who you do it with, and Ellie could not have asked for a better group of friends to celebrate with. As Ellie headed home, the smile on her face widened when she received an unexpected text message from her brother.

‘Hey Ellie,’ the text message read. ‘Saw your photos on Instagram, am out at a Costa on Eastern Avenue, want to meet for a coffee before going home?’ Ellie giggled and immediately sent an affirmative reply to the young man- it was unusual for Jack to suggest such an impromptu meeting, but Ellie wasn’t about to turn down the chance to be with her brother on her birthday.

As she entered the crowded coffee shop, though, Ellie received the shock of her life when she realised that Jack was not alone.

“Oh sh-“ Ellie gasped as she looked across to her brother’s table and found herself locking eyes with her father- someone she hadn’t seen in the flesh in over a year. It was obvious to Ellie from the look on her father’s face that her presence was as much a surprise to him as his was to her. Ellie felt her knees start to tremble as her father's face grew red with fury- she'd mentally practised what she would say to her father if she ever saw him again countless times, but now that the moment had arrived, none of the words would come to her.

“What the-“ Ellie’s father angrily shouted, barely containing himself as he realised he was in a public place. However, this didn’t stop his face from reddening even further as Ellie continued to stare, frozen to the spot in shock. Ellie’s shock only ended when her father turned to her brother with an angry look on his face- a look Ellie was all too familiar with.

“Dad-“ Jack began nervously, barely getting out that one word before his father launched into his tirade.

“Did you know that- that THING would be here?” Ellie and Jack’s father spat in his son’s face. “Is that why you brought us here?” Ellie felt her anger rise as the older man began to shout in her beloved brother’s face.

“You know you’re not supposed to have anything to do with h- with it!” Ellie and Jack’s mother chastised the 15 year old boy. “Have you been meeting up behind our backs this whole time? Answer me!” Unable to contain her anger any longer, and fuelled by the knowledge that as an adult- a legal adult, anyway- she could stand her ground against her so-called parents, Ellie confidently strode over to the table that was already drawing the attention of the other patrons of the shop.

“I- I-“ Jack stammered, before flinching as he felt a hand grip his shoulder. However, the young man relaxed immediately when he saw that the hand belonged to his sister, who looked just as angry as their father.

“Hi dad,” Ellie said, defiantly staring once again into her father’s eyes. “Hi mum. How’s things?”

“We’re leaving,” Ellie’s father snarled, angrily putting on his coat and pushing past Ellie without giving the angry girl a second glance.

“N- no, dad, please-“ Jack pleaded.

“And you-“ the older man snarled, pointing in the face of his youngest child. “We are going to have some words when we get home! As for you-“

“What about me, dad?” Ellie asked angrily. “Going to wish me happy birthday? Or did you forget that it was my eighteenth today?” Ellie allowed herself a small smirk as her father momentarily hesitated before replying.

“Why should we care?” The older man spat. “After what you did to this family?” Ellie took a deep breath to control her anger as she prepared her reply- she was finally getting to say to her father what she’d been desperate to say for the previous two years, and she wasn’t about to let her own emotions ruin the moment.

“All I did,” Ellie said in a cold, calculated voice, “was tell you that I couldn’t live my life the way I did before.” Ellie checked over her shoulder to ensure that she had the attention of all the diners in the café before continuing. “Unless you feel that being transgendered means that you deserve to be kicked out and live on the streets at the age of sixteen?” Ellie’s announcement was met with grunts of disapproval, just as Ellie predicted, and while she subconsciously knew that some of the disapproval would be directed at her, the look of discomfort on her father’s face was enough to convince her that she’d scored a long overdue victory. Her victory was short-lived, however, when a smartly-dressed woman emerged from behind the café’s counter.

“I’m sorry, but you’re causing a disturbance,” the young woman said softly to the feuding family. “I’m going to have to ask you all to leave.”

“Fine,” Ellie’s father growled, zipping up his coat and turning to face his youngest child, only to roll his eyes and sigh when he saw tears trickling down the teenaged boy’s face.

“Ugh, Jack…” Ellie sighed sadly, walking toward her distraught brother to comfort him only to be cut off by an angry glare from their father.

“Come on, Jack, stop crying,” Ellie and Jack's mother admonished in a cowed but still angry voice.

“This was meant-“ Jack mumbled, only to be interrupted by his father yet again.

“We will talk about it at home,” the older man said firmly, before turning to face his daughter. “And as for you- if I see you anywhere near our family again, I’ll call the police. Understand?”

“You’re okay with losing both your children, then?” Ellie sneered as the fractured family were ushered out of the café by the increasingly-agitated staff. “Why d’you think Jack wants to spend so much time with me?”

“Because he’s a stupid child who doesn’t know what’s good for him,” Ellie’s father snarled. With a look of pure fear on his face, Ellie’s brother gulped and took a long, deep breath before opening his mouth.

“…No,” Jack feebly said.

“What did you just say?” Ellie’s father growled.

“I said ‘no’,” Jack mumbled. “I- I want Ellie to be a part of my life. To be a part of all our lives. I want us- I want us to be a family again, is that so wrong?”

“But why?” Ellie and Jack’s mother pleaded. “You saw what your brother did to this family.”

“Sister,” Ellie said firmly. “I’m Jack’s SISTER.”

“No you’re not,” Ellie’s mother spat. “People don’t just wake up one morning and go ‘oh, I want to change my gender today’.”

“It- just- you think I’m doing this on a whim?” Ellie hissed. “Didn’t you ever, EVER notice how miserable I was when I was a boy? Why d’you think I’m happier now?”

“Because you’re an ungrateful little shit who never knew what was good for HIM!” Ellie’s father shouted.

“Stop it!” Jack yelled, tears streaming down his cheeks as his stress and rage reached boiling point. “Why- why can’t you just accept that this is what Ellie needs?”

“Why do you care so much about your brother anyway?” Ellie and Jack’s mother asked, frowning as the teenaged boy briefly opened his mouth to reply, before clenching his jaw shut and trembling with fear.

“…Jack?” Ellie asked, her anger instantly vanishing to be replaced by concern for her younger sibling.

“I care…” Jack said, his voice cracking with emotion, “because- because I- I’m transgendered too.”

“You’re WHAT!?” Ellie and her father asked simultaneously, both voices full of incredulity.

“I- I-“ Jack said, before doubling over in pain and vomiting loudly into the gutter.

“Oh god, Jack…” The distraught teenager’s mother said, embracing her child in a tight hug. “Let- let’s get you home, okay?”

“I- I’m being serious,” Jack said between shallow, rapid breaths. “I really, really wish I was a girl-“

“We will talk about this at home,” Jack’s father said in a calmer voice, placing a calming hand on his younger child’s back as they headed back to their car.

“I- I should come-“ Ellie stammered, only to be silenced as her father turned around, anger having returned to his eyes.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?” The older man hissed.

“Don’t you?” Ellie retorted, staring defiantly at her father as he led his family away. Once they were out of sight, however, Ellie felt a wave of emotion wash over her, bringing floods of tears to her eyes.

Ellie didn’t know whether or not Jack was serious about his being transgendered. She knew that his desire, his desperation for the family to reunite was sincere- it was often all they would talk about during their frequent conversations. However, as hard as Ellie tried, she couldn’t remember a time when Jack had ever said anything about wishing to be a girl. Ellie wished she could have some confirmation about Jack’s sincerity, but she knew that the only person who could say for certain either way was the teenager themselves- and it looked like that was no longer a possibility.

Ellie’s younger sibling remained at the forefront of her mind as she made the short tube trip home. Even though Jack had made no overt statements about wishing to be a girl, she remembered all the questions he had asked about her transition, especially in the early years. What Ellie had initially written off as idle curiosity suddenly took on new meaning for her, as did many other facets of Jack’s character- his shyness, something ‘Liam’ had particularly suffered from, his refusal of Keira despite the girl practically throwing herself at her… Ellie only knew one thing for certain, and that was despite the obstacles her parents would no doubt place in her way, she had to speak to Jack again- and she’d need help when she did. Fortunately for Ellie, she knew just who to turn to…

“Hello again, birthday girl!” Janet chuckled as the eighteen year old girl walked through the front door of the flat. “Had a good day?” Janet’s smile faded when she saw the look of stress and tiredness on her young friend’s face, along with the tell-tale streaks of mascara on her cheeks. “Oh god, Ellie… What- what happened?”

“My family happened,” Ellie groaned, kicking off her shoes and flopping onto the sofa. “I got a text from Jack asking me to come and meet him. When I got there, my parents were there too, Jack had set it up, like.”

“Guessing it didn’t go well?” Janet asked softly.

“Ugh, if it was just a shouting match with my father, I could cope,” Ellie moaned. “But Jack, he- he-“ Ellie blinked back tears as she tried to put her feelings into words.

“What did he do?” Janet asked.

“He-“ Ellie said, taking a long, deep breath to calm her nerves. “He said he was transgendered as well. I mean, like- completely out of nowhere, me and dad were arguing, he just says ‘I’m transgendered’.” Janet nodded as she took in what Ellie said- she knew that the situation would need to be treated with extreme care, and as fragile as she could be at times, Ellie wasn’t always the most tactful person in the world.

“What did you say when Jack told you this?” Janet asked.

“I- I don’t even remember,” Ellie sighed. “I was just in total shock. Then dad just grabbed Jack, ran off home and I- I just came back here. I want to help him, Janet. I- I need to know if, umm…”

“If he’s being serious?” Janet asked. “It’s understandable. I’ve got to admit, I’ve never been on, you know, the receiving end of a coming out before, I wish I knew what to tell you.”

“I wish I knew what to do,” Ellie moaned. “I mean, I NEED to talk to Jack, obviously, but that’ll never happen with mum and dad on the warpath. And, you know, I’m worried about him? After how dad reacted when I came out, god knows what they’re saying to him now…”

“You shouldn’t go there alone,” Janet said firmly.

“Yeah, kinda figured that one out for myself,” Ellie snorted. “Sorry, but- I doubt mum and dad are going to want to listen to you either, you don’t really, you know, get along…”

“Very true,” Janet said, retrieving her phone from the coffee table and opening up Facebook. “But this is important to you, which means it’s important to me as well. We’re not going to be able to do anything tonight, and it’s probably for the best if we all sleep on it anyway, but you need to remember- and Jack definitely needs to know- that we all have a much bigger family than just the people in this flat.”

“Oh- I don’t want to drag Steph into this…” Ellie moaned.

“I’m not inviting her, just letting her know what’s happened,” Janet replied.

“She’ll insist on coming along tomorrow,” Ellie said.

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Janet said, before smiling at her young friend’s look of concern. “If Jack really is transitioning, who d’you think he- sorry, SHE will turn to most for help?”

“Huh, like mum and dad will let him,” Ellie snorted.

“Best case scenario,” Janet said. “Jack starts transitioning. Who’ll she look toward the most?”

“Well, her counsellor, I suppose,” Ellie replied, before sighing as she realised what Janet was implying. “…Or me, I guess.”

“Right,” Janet said. “And I give you support when you need it, and I rely on Steph… There’s a long chain of support here for when we need it.”

“So who’s at the end of this chain?” Ellie asked.

“No one,” Janet replied. “The chain goes in a loop, everyone helps each other when they need it. And right now, you and Jack need it the most.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Ellie said, her cheeks reddening. “So, umm… What’s for dinner?”

“Umm, the special birthday meal we bought on Thursday?” Janet replied, chuckling as Ellie’s cheeks reddened further. “Did you really just forget that today was your birthday?”

“No,” Ellie replied defensively. “Maybe…”

“Heh, it’s okay,” Janet said with a warm smile. “Just shows what a good-hearted person you are, worrying about your brother.”

“I guess,” Ellie shrugged, glancing at the corner of the room where the morning’s colourful decorations were stashed out of sight- a celebration that felt a lifetime away to Ellie.

“Well, I know you have a heart of gold,” Janet said with a smile, giving the young woman’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as she headed through to the kitchen to prepare the evening meal.

Ellie spent the rest of the evening less than 3 feet away from her phone just in case her brother, or even her parents made contact, which ultimately didn’t happen. For the second night in a row, Ellie found herself struggling to sleep, though that was due to anxiety over Jack’s situation rather than the excitement and anticipation she felt the previous evening. Ellie did eventually drift off to sleep, and when she woke the following morning, she became immediately aware of multiple voices coming from the living room. Confused, Ellie wrapped her warm, fluffy dressing gown around herself and headed out into the living room, where for the second day in a row, her jaw dropped at the sight before her.

“Oh, hi Ellie!” Stephanie said with a soft, supportive smile.

“Oh- oh my god, Steph!” Ellie squeaked. “I- I haven’t got any make-up on…”

“Don’t worry about that, we’re all friends here,” Ellie’s friend Nikki said from her seat next to Stephanie. Alongside her was a woman Ellie recognised as Nikki’s wife Sarah, and an older woman Ellie hadn’t met before but looked familiar to her.

“I’ve been filling everyone in on what you told me last night,” Janet explained as Ellie sat on the arm of the sofa. “Steph, Nikki and Sarah you already know, but this is Dr Beverly Phillips, Sarah’s mother.”

“H- hi,” Ellie said nervously as she shook the older woman’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie,” Dr Phillips said. “Janet left out that I’m actually a psychiatric doctor specialising in gender identity issues. Stephanie explained to Nikki and Sarah the situation you found yourself in yesterday, and they asked if I could help out, which I was only too happy to. Even if my daughter and her wife do owe me more than a few favours by this point.”

“Mum usually charges a lot for her appointments,” Sarah explained.

“Oh- you really didn’t need to go to all this trouble for me, really,” Ellie said. “Especially this early on a Sunday morning…”

“Like I said, I’m happy to help out,” Dr Phillips said.

“And Nikki and Sarah are more than paying for it by being up this early,” Stephanie said with a smug grin as her two young friends scowled. "Left Manchester just after 7am, a time I think these two are allergic to!"

"And who's the one who slept all the way on the drive home?" Nikki retorted, making Stephanie roll her eyes and Ellie giggle and blush at the unconditional friendship she ws being shown.

“Well- thanks,” Ellie said. “’Course this’ll probably be a waste of time, mum and dad probably won’t even let us on the driveway…”

“That’s why we’re coming in force,” Sarah replied. “Strength of numbers, that sort of thing. And mum’ll be doing all the talking.”

“And of course, Jack could just be taking the piss,” Ellie mumbled.

“But do you really believe that, Ellie?” Dr Phillips asked, smiling supportively as Ellie sighed and shook her head. “I will admit, what we’re doing today is a lot more like an intervention than one of my usual sessions, but if what I’ve heard is accurate- and I’ve no reason to believe it isn’t- then time is of the essence.”

“Intervention?” Nikki asked. “What, like for drug addicts?”

“In a sense,” Dr Phillips replied. “But in this case it’s Ellie and Jack’s parents who are in need of the intervention. The first 24 hours after someone comes out are the most crucial and need to be handled with extreme care, you know that, surely?”

“God knows I do,” Ellie snorted.

“It’s important that we approach this delicately,” Dr Phillips said. “That we’re not too emotional and that we don’t get our hopes up too high. This is just step one for Jack, there’s a long road ahead.”

“And I should get dressed first,” Ellie said, chuckling as her friends all smiled. “Ooh, actually… Do you- do you think I should take some clothes for Jack? You know, in case- umm…”

“That’d be a great idea,” Dr Phillips said with a warm smile as Ellie headed back to her bedroom.

The short car ride to Ellie’s parents’ house was conducted in total silence save for the occasional instruction from Dr Phillips’s car’s satnav. As they arrived at the house, Ellie’s legs began to tremble, and as she got out of the car, clutching her bag of old clothes, she had to be steadied by Janet to keep from falling over.

“Do you need a minute?” Janet askes softly, smiling sympathetically as Ellie shook her head.

“No,” Ellie whispered. “We- we’re here for Jack.” Janet smiled as Ellie took a deep breath and led the small group toward the modest house’s front door.

As Ellie rang the doorbell, is suddenly dawned on her that if everything went according to plan, she would end the day with a brand new sister. As brothers, ‘Liam’ and ‘Jack’ had never been particularly close, certainly not as close as Ellie and Jack were as brother and sister. Ellie knew her own reasons for being introverted as a child, but had never suspected that her brother’s reasons might be the same…

“Who- you!” Ellie’s father snapped as he opened the door and came face to face with his oldest child. “Don’t you think you did enough damage yesterday?”

“Dad, we- we need to tal-“ Ellie stammered.

“We have nothing to say to you,” Ellie’s father growled. “Now fuck off before I call the police!”

“Mr Blake,” Dr Phillips said soothingly as she stood next to the trembling teenaged girl.

“Who are you?” Ellie’s father sneered. “Another tranny?”

“My name is Doctor Beverly Phillips,” the middle-aged woman replied, not rising to Ellie’s father’s bait. “I’m a psychiatric counsellor specialising in people with gender identity issues. Ellie and her friends have told me about your encounter yesterday and what your younger child said. I’m here to offer help- both to Jack and to you and your wife.”

“We don’t- Jack doesn’t need your help,” Mr Blake replied, his anger being defused by the counsellor’s calm demeanour. “He didn’t mean what he said yesterday.”

“I want- I’d, umm, like to hear that from Jack,” Ellie said defiantly.

“…Fine, if it’ll get you off my doorstep,” Ellie’s father grumbled. “Jack! Get down here!” Ellie smiled as her younger brother walked down the stairs in his pyjamas, his messy hair giving away the fact that he’d only just got out of bed despite it being almost 11am.

“E- Ellie?” Jack asked, immediately trembling with nerves at the sight of his sister.

“H- hey, Jack,” the eighteen year old girl replied. “I- umm, what you said yesterday…”

“Tell him you were just joking about what you said,” the teenagers’ father said with a stern look in his eye.

“It’s okay, Jack,” Ellie said softly as she gestured over her shoulder to where her friends were stood. “You can tell us the truth, we won’t be offended. Were you just joking yesterday when you said you were transgendered?”

“I…” Jack squeaked, before his whole body started to shake and tears flowed from his eyes. “...No…”

“What?” Ellie’s father asked incredulously as Ellie reached forward and gave the distraught boy a long hug.

“May we come in, Mr Blake?” Dr Phillips asked.

“…I think you’d better,” Mr Blake replied, leading the assembled group into the living room, where Ellie made a point of sitting down next to Jack in what was- or rather, used to be- her usual seat.

As everyone introduced themselves to Jack and his parents, Ellie (who obviously already knew everyone) took the time to look around the living room and muse on how little it had changed in the almost two years since she’d last been in the house. However, she couldn’t escape the feeling of how much she herself had changed in the same amount of time. It was the first time she'd ever been in the room wearing a skirt, for one thing. Though as familiar as the room was, Ellie was forced to conclude that it wasn’t truly her home anymore, and that even if she and her family reconciled, it may never be again.

“Okay then,” Mr Blake said with a loud sigh as he sat down in his usual chair. “You’re the doctor, you tell us how we can cure this- this thing.”

“It’s not simply a case of ‘curing’,” Dr Phillips advised. “Being transgendered is not a disease or an illness, not even a mental illness in and of itself, though if improperly- well, improperly handled, it can lead to conditions like anxiety or depression. We need to take action now to ensure that that doesn’t happen.”

“Okay, I get that,” Mr Blake said, visibly struggling to keep his patience in check- something Ellie immediately attributed to her presence in the room. “So what do we do first?”

“First we need to get Jack registered with a counsellor, someone professional he can speak to about this,” Dr Phillips advised. “The Tavistock and Portman centre has a long waiting list but there are many private counsellors I can recommend, and as Jack is almost 16 he may well be referred to an adult counsellor already. Your GP can get the ball rolling on this as well.”

“And they’ll cure Jack of these thoughts?” Ellie and Jack’s mother asked, making all of the transgendered women in the room bristle. “I’ve heard of places where people go, where they can be cured, like a psychiatric hospital?”

“If you’re referring to so-called conversion therapy, then I must strongly advise you not to go down that route,” Dr Phillips said. “As I said, being transgendered is not in and of itself a mental illness.”

“But the whole definition of transgender is ‘brain doesn’t match body’, isn’t it?” Mrs Blake asked.

“Yes,” Dr Phillips replied, “but trying to force the brain to match the body carries with it far more dangers than making the body match the brain, as with any attempt to try to force someone to think in a particular way.”

“It’s brainwashing, basically,” Nikki said bluntly. “I have a friend who’s told me stories about a time her family coerced her into going to ‘conversion therapy’ and I would not wish that on anyone.”

“What’s most important,” Dr Phillips continued, “is what Jack wants. Jack, I know this must be overwhelming and scary for you, but we are all here to help, right?” Dr Phillips looked pointedly at the young boy’s parents, who both reluctantly nodded.

“I- I’ve just-“ Jack stammered.

“Would you rather talk somewhere quieter?” Dr Phillips asked, smiling as Jack nodded. “Is there a room we can use, please? I’m conscious that we are intruding in your home, especially on a weekend, I promise we won’t take up any more of your time than we need to.”

“No- no, you’re right, this does need sorting out,” Mr Blake sighed.

“I’m guessing my old room is free?” Ellie asked, causing an awkward silence to descend over the room.

“I’d like to come too,” Ellie and Jack’s mother said firmly.

“…Jack?” Dr Phillips asked, smiling as the teenaged boy nodded.

“I want Ellie to come as well,” Jack said, exchanging a smile with his older sister.

“Lead the way,” Dr Phillips said, following as Jack led the small group up the stairs.

As Ellie entered her old bedroom, she bit her lip to keep from commenting on the sight that greeted her. ‘Liam’ had had relatively few possessions of his own, certainly a lot fewer than ‘Ellie’ had acquired, but they were still enough to personalise what used to be her bedroom. However, those possessions were nowhere to be seen, stashed away in one of the many boxes that now cluttered the room. Ellie couldn't help but feel that she herself had been treated the same way by her family.

Ellie put her feelings to one side as she took a seat next to Jack on the bed she hadn’t slept in in what felt like forever. An awkward silence filled the room as everyone waited for someone else to talk first, before Dr Phillips broke the silence with a question.

“How long have you had these feelings, Jack?” Dr Phillips asked in a soft, gentle voice.

“…A lot longer than I’ve known about Ellie, if that’s what you’re asking,” Jack replied, taking a deep breath as Dr Phillips nodded at him to continue. “I dunno. Since primary school, I know that. I’d look at the girls in their uniforms, playing their games while I ‘had’ to play football, and I’d just, you know, wonder why that couldn’t be me.”

“I know that feeling,” Ellie whispered, wrapping an arm around her sibling’s shoulder.

“Has the feeling got stronger as you’ve got older?” Dr Phillips asked, smiling supportively as Jack nodded in reply.

“Some days at school it’s all I can think about,” Jack moaned. “I mean I- I try not to, I try to tell myself that it’s, you know, ‘wrong’, that I’d eventually, I dunno, ‘grow out of it’, but it never seems to work.”

“Have- umm, did I, you know… Make things worse?” Ellie asked in a quiet, emotional voice. “Please tell me the truth, Jack…”

“…A little, maybe,” Jack replied, making Ellie bite her lip to keep herself from crying. “I mean, you made me think, you know, that it was possible, but if I ever did, it’d be such a high cost…” Despite herself, Ellie felt a solitary tear trickle down her cheek. She’d often thought about what her parents had told her when she was ejected from the home, about how she might have ‘corrupted’ her brother, and she’d always thought that it was bigoted nonsense. However, as much as she tried to reassure herself that Jack would have had transgendered feelings regardless of her influence, a small part of her wondered whether or not her parents were right. Jack’s words had obviously tried to reassure Ellie that he didn’t blame her for anything, but that didn’t stop the eighteen year old girl from wondering whether or not things would have been different had she made different choices. Much to both teenagers’ surprise, however, when they looked at their mother, they found that she was crying too…

“Have- have you ever worn-“ Mrs Blake asked in a quiet, hoarse voice.

“No,” Jack replied. “I- I didn’t dare…”

“What- that is, how would you like to proceed?” Dr Phillips asked. “Do you want to transition?”

“I- I don’t know,” Jack moaned. “I just don’t want to, you know, have to hide anymore, to pretend that I don’t have these feelings.”

“Do you- do you want to, you know, act on these feelings?” Ellie asked, remembering the bag of clothes she’d left downstairs with her friends.

“Is there any way we can help Jack without, umm… Dressing up?” Ellie and Jack’s mother asked, an uneasy look on her face. “I mean, surely we should wait for a diagnosis before we do anything rash?”

“Wearing a dress is hardly ‘doing anything rash’,” Ellie retorted, before flinching as her mother stared at her with an angry look in her eyes. “No- no, I’m serious. There are worse things in the world than someone who USED TO BE a boy wearing a skirt!”

“It certainly wouldn’t hurt to enable Jack to begin exploring his feminine side,” Dr Phillips advised. “In fact restricting it would do far more harm than good. You need to accept, Mrs Blake, that Jack does have a feminine side. It’s not something that’s ‘wrong’. Jack may never grow out of it. And forcing him to repress it WILL in the long run harm him far more than allowing him to express it, whether that expression is part- or full-time.”

“…Okay,” Mrs Blake mumbled. “But you do have to acknowledge the effect that this will have on me and my husband, right?”

“It will be a long adjustment period,” Dr Phillips conceded. “But Jack’s counsellor will be able to help you just as much as they help him. Mrs Blake, you need to go into this period without any preconceptions, without any expectations of a ‘best case scenario’, especially if in that scenario Jack ends up not transitioning.”

“So our feelings about this are just not important?” Mrs Blake asked, anger beginning to seep into her voice.

“Not as important as Jack’s,” Ellie snapped back, silencing her mother along with everyone else in the room.

“…What I’m sure Ellie means,” Dr Phillips said in a soft, calming voice, “is that it’s Jack’s life we’re talking about, and you need to put his feelings first and foremost, and trust that he knows what he wants. I understand this may be difficult-“

“Really?” Ellie’s mother asked. “Do you know what it’s like to have a child suddenly turn around and say ‘oh, I want to be a girl’?”

“I know what it’s like to have a transgendered child-in-law, for what that’s worth,” Dr Phillips replied. “One of the young women sat downstairs is my daughter, and sat next to her is her wife, who was male when I first met her six years ago. She began transitioning at the age of sixteen, and was regularly living part-time as a girl before going full-time.”

“…Oh,” Mrs Blake said in a subdued voice.

“All that mattered to me,” Dr Phillips continued, “was that Sarah loved Nikki and vice versa, and that I continued to love them both as part of my family.”

“So… What now?” Mrs Blake asked. “We go out and buy Jack a dress for him to wear whenever he feels anxious?”

“That decision should be Jack’s,” Dr Phillip’s said softly as Ellie fidgeted in her seat.

“I, umm,” Ellie began. “I kinda- kinda brought along a bag of clothes, you know, just in case…” Ellie bit her lip as she looked at her mother, whose facial expression made it clear that she did not approve of this development. However, with a loud sigh, she nodded her head, bringing smiles to both her children’s faces.

“Would you like some privacy?” Dr Phillips asked as Ellie headed downstairs to retrieve her bag.

“I’d want Ellie to stay,” Jack said as he began to shiver with excitement. Ellie blinked back a tear as she quickly skipped down the stairs, returning seconds later to discover Jack alone in her old room.

“…So this is real, then?” Ellie asked after a brief silence.

“Yep,” Jack replied nervously. “I- I’m sorry…”

“Oh- oh for god’s sake, Jack,” Ellie sighed, giving the nervous young man a hug. “What do YOU have to be sorry for?”

“Messing up your birthday,” Jack mumbled. “You know, ‘stealing the spotlight’ or whatever…”

“Oh- trust me, you don’t need to feel guilty,” Ellie said. “At all. In fact, I’m sorry I didn’t see this earlier, sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me. I mean, it’s not like I was going to tell mum and dad, was it?”

“I- I dunno,” Jack said in a quiet, timid voice. “I guess I was just so scared…”

“Oh- god,” Ellie sighed, tightening her hug. “You don’t need to be scared any more. And you don’t need to be male, either.” Ellie grinned widely as she opened the bag to show its contents. As he reached into the bag, Jack’s grin widened and even surpassed Ellie’s own.

“This- this is like a dream,” Jack sighed as he gently caressed the clothes within, as though he was scared that his touch would damage them. “Can- can I-“

“Go right ahead!” Ellie giggled. “That IS why I brought them, isn’t it? There’s some underwear in there as well in case you want to and a pair of flat shoes too. If you want to wash them when you’re done, just leave them with me and I’ll make sure it gets done. I’m sorry there’s no make-up, but-“

“This is more than I could ever have asked for, believe me!” Jack giggled.

“Do you want me to, umm, turn my back?” Ellie asked.

“…Please?” Jack asked, which Ellie replied to with a smile and a nod before turning her back on her brother.

As she listened to Jack strip off his clothes and gently step into the new garments, Ellie’s mind wandered back to the time when the mere act of pulling on a skirt sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. Back then, it was a step into the unknown, the same steps Jack was taking that very second, but over time it became normal, everyday- though no less exciting to the eighteen year old girl. Even with a thirty skirts of all lengths and styles in her wardrobe, each one held a special place in her heart, as did every dress, every top, every pair of shoes, even every pair of tights. Ellie didn't just feel excited, but felt privileged every time she was able to get dressed in her beautiful clothing, and that sense of privilege only grew as she realised that privilege was now extended to her beloved younger sibling.

“Okay,” Jack said, taking several deep breaths to calm himself. Ellie turned around to look at her new sister, and a wide grin spread across her face at the sight that greeted her.

Standing before Ellie was an average-looking teenaged girl, a little shorter than her, clad in a dusky pink hoodie, a denim skirt and a pair of opaque black tights. Her hair was short and messy and she wasn't wearing any make-up or nail polish, but Ellie was easily able to identify her not just as a girl, but as her sister.

“…Beautiful,” Ellie whispered, making her new sister blush.

“You’re just saying that…” The younger teenager mumbled, sitting down on the bed with knees pressed tightly together.

“No, honestly, I’m not,” Ellie said softly. “Okay, your hair’s a little short still, but it’ll grow, and once you get practised with make-up you will pass as easily as I do, trust me.

“Well- I guess,” Ellie’s new sister chuckled, amazing the 18 year old girl with how effortlessly they’d slipped into using feminine mannerisms and speech patterns- just as easily as Ellie herself had done two years earlier.

“…You’re gonna need a name, though,” Ellie reminded the new girl sitting alongside her. “I mean, ‘Jack’ can kinda be a girl’s name, like if it was spelled without a ‘K’, or ‘Jackie’…”

“Ehh… Nope,” the fifteen year old replied with a girlish giggle. “How- how did you, you know…”

“Pick ‘Ellie’?” The eighteen year old replied. “My initials, ‘Liam Edward’, ‘L. E.’, Ellie. Not as easy for you, ‘Jack Peter’, ‘Jape’ isn’t a great name…”

“How- how about ‘Jade’?” The younger girl asked.

“Jade…” Ellie mused. “Well- well, it’s your name, if you like it…”

“I do,” Ellie’s sister said with a confident smile and an outstretched hand. “Jade Blake, nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Ellie giggled, shaking Jade’s hand and giving her a long, gentle hug.

“God,” Jade sighed, “this- this still feels like a dream…”

“Well, you don’t have to wake up if you don’t want to,” Ellie whispered. “I never did.”

“Yeah…” Jade said with a grimace. “But- but your life, you know…”

“What about it?” Ellie asked.

“It’s not- it’s not, umm…” Jade mumbled, biting her lip. “You’ve kinda- kinda had it tough…”

“…I’ve definitely had to earn my life, that’s for sure,” Ellie conceded. “Not exactly been a fairytale, heh. But you’ll have it easier, trust me. All my friends will be your friends, and mum and dad… They won’t treat you the way they did me, I’m sure they won’t.”

“I guess…” Jade said, fidgeting uncomfortably. “I just- I- I don’t think I can, you know…”

“Well- okay,” Ellie said, trying her hardest to hide her disappointment.

“Don’t- don’t get me wrong,” Jade said. “I LOVE this. If it was as easy as this… I- I’m going to, you know, need support… If you- if you moved back in-“ Ellie felt her eyes widen and her whole body bristle at her sister’s suggestion. She didn’t doubt that her presence would be an immeasurable help to Jade, especially at the start of her journey, and her own relationship with her parents seemed to have improved (not that it could’ve got any worse), but the thought of living in the household again was inconceivable to the eighteen year old girl. Especially as the more she thought about it, the more she realised that Janet was much more her ‘real’ mother than Sharon was.

“No,” Ellie said, bluntly interrupting her sister mid-sentence.

“…Okay,” Jade mumbled. “I- I’m not ready to go downstairs like this…”

“Okay,” Ellie whispered. “Keep- keep the clothes, any time you need to-“

“Thanks,” Jade whispered. “I’m, umm, I’m going to change back now…”

“Okay,” Ellie said. “I- I’ll be downstairs.”

“Okay,” Jade said. “But- well, at least now, you know, mum and dad, they- we won’t have to, like, sneak around behind their backs, right?” Despite her disappointment, Ellie was forced to smile at this bit of news, which she quickly decided was the best birthday present she could have possibly received.

Ellie returned to the living room and re-took her seat, where she was joined minutes later by Jack, once again wearing his male clothing along with a look of deep shame on his face.

“Hello Jack,” Dr Phillips said softly. “Did- did you have a good talk?”

“Yes,” Jack whispered. “I- I really, really want to see a counsellor about this. Regularly.”

“We’ll call the doctor first thing tomorrow to sort this out,” Ellie and Jack’s father said in a calm, almost sympathetic voice. Ellie mused that whatever Dr Phillips said to him must have been very good indeed.

“Also,” Jack said in a nervous voice, “I- I want Ellie to, umm, to support me… I don’t- I don’t want her to be isolated from this family anymore.” Ellie let out a soft sigh as she saw the dark looks spread across both her parents’ face following this request.

“We- we’ll think about it,” the teenagers’ mother said. “Though I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you two to, umm, talk on Facebook…”

“We’ll send you friend requests as well,” Nikki said in a quiet, respectful voice. “Anytime you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

“Thanks,” Jack whispered.

“Well, umm, we should probably get going,” Janet said softly. “Ellie, do you- do you want to, umm, stay a bit longer?” Ellie hesitated before answering- while she would've loved to have spent more time with Jack, or even better, with Jade, introducing her to all the new feminine sensations that awaited her, the truth was that she was a stranger in the house- and after everything her parents had done to her, she was still a long way from forgiving them.

“…No,” Ellie whispered. “Let’s go- let’s go home.”

“Okay,” Janet said softly as she led the small group out of the house.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Mr Blake mumbled as he showed the visitors out. “And thank you for your advice, Dr Phillips. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure Jack gets the help he needs.”

“If you need any further help, let any of us know,” Dr Phillips said, shaking the older man’s hand before escorting Janet and Ellie back to her car. Both transgendered women let out long sighs as they sat down and fastened their seatbelts.

“That went quite well,” Janet said, trying to reassure her young friend.

“I’ve known comings out that have gone much worse than this,” Dr Phillips concurred. “I think Jack can be positive about the future, as can you, Ellie. You heard what your father said, and I believe he’s sincere about making sure Jack gets the help he needs.”

“Yeah,” Ellie snorted. “Help to stay a boy by any means necessary.”

“I- I don’t believe he’ll consider so-called conversion therapy,” Dr Phillips said. “He didn’t strike me as being particularly religious.”

“No, in his mind, HE’s god,” Ellie snorted. “When I came out it was either ‘live as a straight male’ or ‘get out of the house’.”

“They’ve had two years to think about it since then,” Dr Phillips said. “They need to face the reality that both of their children are transgendered or have transgendered feelings, and this isn’t something they can simply ‘order’ away.”

“Some people shouldn’t be parents at all,” Ellie mumbled, slouching down in her seat.

“But they ARE your parents, Ellie,” Janet advised her young friend. “I think today for the first time in a long time, they’re actually acknowledging that.”

“And while you were upstairs, I gave your parents details of nearby NHS family counsellors,” Dr Phillips said. “I’ll email you the same details when I get home.”

“I guess,” Ellie sighed as they headed home through the crowded streets of North-east London.

When she arrived home, Ellie went straight to her bedroom and crashed down onto her bed, her head spinning as she tried to make sense of the weekend’s events. She had a brother, who was possibly going to become her sister in the coming few months. She was no longer fully estranged from her parents, and she and Jack- or rather, Jade- would be able to communicate freely whenever they wanted. And yet, Ellie still felt uneasy. She couldn’t fully trust her parents to act in Jade’s best interests, or indeed her own, despite Dr Phillips’s reassurances of her father’s sincerity. She couldn’t trust that Jade would fully commit to the transition despite their talk in her old bedroom. And most of all, her old home wasn’t her ‘real’ home anymore.

Worse than all of that, though, was the feeling of jealousy Ellie felt toward her younger sibling. Jade would get all the help Ellie didn’t. She would be accepted where Ellie herself was rejected. And she almost certainly wouldn’t end up with an ugly scar on the back of her head. Ellie didn’t want to feel jealous of Jade- whether they were her brother or her sister, Ellie loved them regardless, and Ellie hoped that they could live the life they wanted to, but she couldn’t escape the feeling that Jade was going to get all the luck that she herself didn’t.

As Ellie laid in her bedroom contemplating the situation, Janet sat outside in her chair worrying about the eighteen year old girl, and her younger sibling as well. Ellie’s childhood had not been an easy one despite Janet’s best efforts to care for her, and her first two days of adulthood had been filled with stress. Janet hoped for Ellie’s sake that her parents were sincere about wanting to build bridges with both daughters, and a large part of herself also wondered if there was any chance of reconciling with her own family…

Ellie let out a long sigh as she walked through the front door of the college, still exhausted from the weekend and mentally completely unprepared for the week ahead. However, as she entered the familiar surroundings, she realised that as much as her life had changed, it was still continuing, and Ellie was as determined as she was before Jack's coming out to make the most of her life. The fact that she was able to openly chat with Jack online the previous night was all the reassurance that Ellie needed of that.

“Hey Ell!” Monique said with a giggle as she greeted Ellie with a tight hug. “Missed you yesterday. You had fun?”

“Ugh,” Ellie groaned. “LONG story…”

“Hey girlies,” Lindsay said with a grin as Ellie, Monique and Kacey entered the packed coffee shop and slumped heavily into their seats. “Should I ask?”

“Ugh, I’d prefer it if you didn’t,” Monique groaned. “I HATE exams…”

“Well, only a few more days to go,” Kacey said with a tired chuckle. “Gonna be weird not going to college next year, heh.”

“Meh, I can’t wait to get to uni,” Jodie shrugged. “I love change, things get boring if things always stay the same, you know?”

“Yeah,” Ellie said, though secretly, she had had far too much change over the previous few months.

As always, when the topic of change came up, Ellie’s first thoughts were about her younger sibling. In the three months since Jack had announced the desire to become ‘Jade’, very little had changed to an outside observer, but things were very different from the two siblings’ perspective.

The Monday after Ellie’s birthday weekend, Jack returned to school as ‘Jack’, as he did for the rest of the school year. However, on many occasions after returning home from school, it would frequently be ‘Jade’ who walked down the stairs after getting changed- and Ellie would often be waiting for her when she did.

As she’d promised, Ellie was there for Jade the first time she introduced herself to her parents as the girl she was inside. As Jade sat in her bedroom, clad in the same skirt and hoodie she’d worn when she’d first introduced herself to Ellie, the older girl recognised the look of pure fear in her sister’s face, as it was the same look she’d seen in the mirror prior to her own coming out. However, while Ellie had been rejected, when Jade entered the living room as herself for the first time, she was met with nods of acceptance and tolerance. The girls’ parents were still a long way from loving their new daughter, but were a lot closer than they had been with Ellie- or closer even than they still were with Ellie. And as hard as she continued to try, Ellie still found herself harbouring feelings of jealousy toward her new sister. However, the real world- specifically, exam season- preoccupied both Ellie and Jade to the point where neither had much free time to explore their new family situation. Especially as every time Ellie thought of home and family, it wasn’t her parents or even Jade that she thought about, but Janet. However, this lack of free time didn’t stop Ellie’s social life from expanding in other ways…

“Hey babe,” the good-looking seventeen year old boy said with a smirk as he sat down next to Ellie and wrapped a strong arm around her slender waist.

“Hey bae,” Ellie giggled, sneaking a kiss from the young man while their friends giggled and playfully jeered.

“Hey Dane,” Lindsay (who had been friends with Ellie’s boyfriend since secondary school) chuckled. “Any chance you could keep your hands off her for one second?”

“Umm… Nah,” Dane chuckled as he gave Ellie’s side a gentle tickle, eliciting a shriek of laughter from the blonde girl.

“Okay, okay, enough PDA!” Jodie chuckled. “You two keep it up and I’ll need to grab a fire extinguisher!” Ellie and Dane both giggled at their friend’s teasing, Ellie especially so as she knew that underneath the mock exasperation was a feeling of genuine happiness that Ellie had finally started a relationship after months of single life.

Ellie and Dane had met during the Easter holidays at a party thrown by one of Lindsay’s classmates, and it had been Lindsay herself who had introduced the two teenagers. Even though Dane had come across as a typical boy at first, interested only in football, girls and videogames, Ellie had quickly been able to deduce that there was a kinda, sensitive boy underneath the façade- and, most importantly, one with no hang-ups about having a transgendered girlfriend. Even though it had been months since Ethan’s assault, Ellie was at first reluctant to allow Dane to even touch her, but as she got to know him better, she gradually allowed him to grow closer to her, and before long, Ellie was enjoying a physical relationship for the first time in a very long while. However, she was yet to persuade Janet to allow him to stay overnight…

“You not got any exams today Dane?” Kacey asked.

“Nah,” Dane replied with a chuckle. “History exams tomorrow and Friday. Can’t wait for summer to start.”

“Me too,” Ellie sighed tiredly.

“Still though,” Monique shrugged. “Good things come to those who wait, right?”

“Yeah,” Ellie chuckled, before grinning at the appropriateness of Monique’s comment when applied to the person who had just walked through the coffee shop’s front door.

“Hey Jack!” Lindsay said, calling the fifteen year old boy toward the group’s table. “Exams today as well, then?”

“Ugh, yep!” Jack replied with a playful chuckle that raised smiles from most of the girls at the table, with one notable exception.

“Hi, Jack,” Keira said in a cold, distant voice as the fifteen year old fidgeted in his seat. While Ellie had initially taken Keira's feelings toward Jack to be just a playful, frivolous crush, Keira had taken the situation a lot more seriously, and had been clearly hurt when Jack came out to the rest of the group shortly after Ellie's birthday. While Keira was sensitive enough not to try to alienate Jack, it did make life considerably more awkward when the two of them were in the same room together.

“Anyway,” Monique said, “exams are almost done, which means it’s summer soon... Are we gonna get to go to Wireless, then?”

“God, I hope so,” Lindsay sighed happily. “Might be a bit of a hard sell to my mum, though. Maybe next year, when I’m eighteen.”

“Yeah, my mum’s being a pain there too,” Jodie sighed. “Should be able to twist her arm, though. Ell? You up for Wireless?”

“Uh, music student?” Ellie replied with a giggle. “How about ‘hell yeah’?” Ellie grinned as her friends cheered at the news- it still surprised her at times that they were as genuinely happy to spend time with her as she was with them. “Janet will be okay with it. And it’s not like my ‘real’ parents have a say, heh.” Ellie tried to suppress a grimace as she saw an unhappy look spread across her younger sibling’s face.

“That’s good,” Dane said with a lustful grin. “Doubt they’d approve of me going too, heh!”

“No PDA!” Monique ordered, triggering a fit of giggles from everyone at the table.

The group dispersed just over half an hour later and all the teenagers returned to their respective homes, even Ellie and Dane, who indulged in a few more public displays of affection before parting company. Before she left the coffee shop, though, Ellie subtly pulled her younger sibling aside for a quiet talk.

“Hey, then,” Ellie said, fidgeting awkwardly as she and Jack found a quiet corner of the shop.

“Hey…” Jack said equally awkwardly. “So, umm…”

“Yeah,” Ellie said. “You- are you, umm, you know, still- still-“

“’Seeing Jade’?” Jack asked, smiling nervously as he nodded. “Like I told you the last hundred times, this is a real thing, I’m not going to suddenly change my mind. Just like you didn’t.”

“Are you- are you any closer to, you know, introducing Jade to the world?” Ellie asked.

“…After my exams are over at the very earliest,” Jack replied. “But I want to, I really want to, honestly. I just- well, you knew what it was like at our old school, right?”

“Well- yeah,” Ellie replied with a sigh. Even though she’d known she was a girl for as long as she could remember, even at her most desperate she wouldn’t have dared to come out whilst she was still a student at secondary school. While she was in her second year of secondary school, she'd heard stories about a boy three years older than her who had come out as gay, and had ended up hospitalised and, according to rumours, forced to leave London altogether after a campaign of bullying by the same Neanderthals who had beaten him up. As desperate as Ellie had been, she didn't dare risk her health or safety, and certainly didn't blame Jack for not risking his.

“I’ve been talking a lot with your friend Nikki,” Jack said. “She came out right after finishing her GCSEs too, she’s given me a few, you know, bits of advice.”

“Cool,” Ellie said. “And- and your counsellor? You seeing them weekly yet?”

“Only every other week for now,” Jack replied. “Hopefully by September it’ll be every week. Then again, by September hopefully I’ll be, well, yeah…”

“Yeah,” Ellie chuckled. “Anyway, umm, I’m going to head off now, Janet will probably have started dinner.”

“Okay,” Jack shrugged. "Talk soon?"

"Sure," Ellie said, biting her lip as she walked away from her brother, inwardly cursing at herself for what she perceived as yet another awkward encounter with someone with whom she used to be able to talk openly.

Janet let out a sigh as she entered the women’s locker room of the supermarket and removed her name badge, before untying her ponytail and smiling at how her ever-lengthening hair framed her face. It wasn't just the change to her hair that made Janet smile, though- months on oestrogen had resulted in her waist narrowing, her hips widening and her breasts slowly but surely growing outward. She still regularly wore a corselette underneath her work clothes to enhance her feminine shape, but with every day that passed it needed less and less enhancing, and it had been many months since the corselette had needed to create any 'shape'.

As it had always been, the work was dull and repetitive, especially when compared to Janet’s previous career in human resources, but it kept a roof over her head and food in her fridge, and as she was reminded when the door to the locker room opened again, it wasn’t all bad working there.

“Hi Janet!” Meredith said with a smile as she sat down next to Janet and exchanged her smart flat shoes for her preferred Doc Martens. “End of the start of another week, heh! I used to hate Mondays when I was younger, but now I’m a LITTLE bit older I don’t mind them too much. It’s Wednesdays that are the real pain, though, I get why people call it ‘hump day’ ‘cause everyone gets the hump, customers and employees, heh!”

“Yep,” Janet replied. “Though I’d rather it was Wednesday today than Monday, heh. Bet Ellie wishes the same thing too, heh.”

“Ah, she doing exams?” Meredith asked, smiling as Janet nodded. “GCSEs or A levels? Been so long since I was in school they’re probably not even called that anymore!”

“A levels or whatever they’re called now,” Janet replied. “Poor girl’s been tearing her hair out for weeks. Still, it’ll all be over for her soon. Until she starts uni, anyway.”

“Is she definitely going to uni, then?” Meredith asked. “’Cause after I did my A levels my teachers and my parents kept pushing me to go to uni but I didn’t know what I wanted to study, and I didn’t want, you know, the debt of the student loan, even though it wasn’t nearly as bad twenty years ago as it is today. And I just wanted to work, you know? So what if I’m working at a supermarket, I’m earning my money, I’m paying my taxes, right?”

“True,” Janet replied. “You never thought about working anywhere else?”

“Of course,” Meredith replied. “Dunno what else I could really do, though. 37’s a bit old for a career change, right?”

“I was in my forties,” Janet shrugged. “Then again, there are other reasons for my change of career… But that just goes to show you’re never too old for a change if that’s what you really want. Or need, heh!”

“I suppose,” Meredith said.

“What have you always wanted to do as a job?” Janet asked. “Like, when you were a kid?”

“I dunno, loads of things,” Meredith replied. “When I was six I wanted to be a ballerina, then again I suppose most six year old girls want to be ballerinas.”

“Some six year old boys, too,” Janet whispered.

“Oh- oh god, I’m so sorry!” Meredith gasped. “I just forgot…”

“It’s okay,” Janet shrugged, smirking as Shannon entered the room and headed to where the two women were stood. “It really is a compliment if you forget, you know?”

“Hi ladies!” Shannon said with a grin. “What’s the goss?”

“All about ‘change’ today,” Janet replied. “Something you'll know all about in just two months, Miss soon-to-be Mrs.!”

“Hehe!” Shannon giggled as she examined the jewellery on her left hand. “Yeah… I’m kinda fond of change, heh.”

“And before you came along,” Janet continued, “Miss Palmer was telling us about how she, like all little girls, wanted to be a ballerina when she was six.”

“Like Janet said, ‘little’ girls,” Meredith snorted. “I’d probably look stupid in a tutu now.”

“Only one way to find out,” Shannon teased, giggling as Meredith rolled her eyes.

“Not happening,” Meredith insisted. “Besides, by the time I was 9 I’d changed my mind anyway, I wanted to be a vet. Then when I was 12- well, you get the idea.”

“I always thought you’d be a great DJ,” Shannon mused. “You know, like on radio? Maybe Janet could ask Steph to ask her bosses if they fancy opening a radio station?”

“THAT’s not happening either!” Meredith snorted, before grabbing her handbag and heading toward the door. “See you two tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure,” Janet chuckled as she waved her friend off. “Started talking about ‘dream jobs’ as Ellie’s doing exams today and probably going to uni in September.”

“Ah,” Shannon said. “Yeah, always wished I’d gone to uni, was never really bright enough, heh.”

“Hey now, no talking like that,” Janet chastised. “You’re smarter than you think, I know you are. You’ve got a first aid certificate, for one thing.”

“Yeah, that was easy, though,” Shannon shrugged.

“I bet plenty of other people wouldn’t think it was easy,” Janet retorted.

“…You really are a great parent, aren’t you?” Shannon said, prompting a giggle from the older woman.

“Well, I try!” Janet replied. “And speaking of, got to get home and get dinner ready for exam girl, heh. See you tomorrow!”

“See you,” Shannon said. “And tell Ellie good luck from me!”

“Will do!” Janet chuckled as she left the locker room.

Within minutes, Janet was walking through the front door of her flat, where she found Ellie fiddling with her phone on her usual spot on the sofa. Janet smirked as Ellie quietly grunted a greeting at her, not taking her attention away from the screen in her hands.

“Good afternoon to you too,” Janet said, chuckling as the teenager rolled her eyes. “Didn’t expect you back this early, thought you’d be hanging out with Dane today? Or hanging off him, or whatever.”

“What makes you think he isn’t in the bedroom?” Ellie asked.

“The fact that you’re not in there too,” Janet replied, smirking as Ellie rolled her eyes again, before letting out an involuntary giggle.

“Nice,” Ellie sighed defeatedly.

“How was the exam?” Janet asked, smiling sympathetically as Ellie groaned in response. “Never mind, that’s all the answer I need, heh. God knows I felt that way about most of my exams. When’s your next one?”

“Tomorrow,” Ellie replied. “Then not until Friday.”

“Is that why you’re studying so hard?” Janet teased, before holding her hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay… I should know better than to try to make light of exam stress, heh.”

“Ugh, and not just exams,” Ellie moaned.

“Things still awkward with Jade?” Janet asked softly, smiling sympathetically as Ellie nodded. “It won’t last. You two are sisters, and as soon as Jade starts living openly, you two will be inseparable.”

“If you say so,” Ellie said, turning back to her phone even as she was forced to admit that in the long run, Janet would undoubtedly be right, but with everything happening in her life, Ellie was struggling to think beyond the next 24 hours.

Both women opted for an early night and were in bed before 10pm, rising early the following morning to prepare themselves for the hectic day ahead. Despite their rushed schedules, Janet couldn’t help but worry about Ellie as she alternated between immersing herself in her phone and her exam notes. She knew that Ellie had worked hard on her course and would eventually get the rest and relaxation she had earned and so badly deserved- she just wished for Ellie's sake that it would be sooner rather than later...

Ellie let out a long sigh of relief as the sound of the bell reverberated through the exam hall, signalling the end of the exam and, for Ellie, the start of three days’ worth of relaxation. Unlike the previous day, the young woman had a smile on her face as she entered her and her friends’ regular coffee shop.

“Someone’s looking pleased with themselves,” Lindsay teased as Ellie took her usual seat. “Exam go well?”

“No idea,” Ellie replied with a grin. “All I know is that I have the next 72 hours completely, 100% free!”

“Ugh, rub it in, why don’t you?” Monique snorted.

“Thanks, I will!” Ellie said with a smug giggle, before sighing happily. “Ah, you know what I mean, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Monique chuckled. “I am damn sure going to celebrate after tomorrow’s exam, won’t have another for six days, hehe!”

“Ugh, lucky you,” Jodie spat. “I’m in tomorrow AND Friday.”

“It’ll be over soon,” Ellie said with a smile that widened as several young men entered the coffee shop, one of whom made a beeline straight for the young woman and gave her a long, lingering kiss.

“And what did we say about PDAs yesterday?” Monique chastised, before giggling as her boyfriend greeted her the same way Dane greeted Ellie.

“Hypocrite,” Ellie teased.

“Oh- shut up,” Monique giggled as she let her boyfriend take her seat before making herself comfortable in the young man’s lap.

“So, what did I miss?” Dane asked.

“Guess,” Kacey snorted. “Begins with an ‘E’ and ends with a ‘kill me now’.”

“Ugh, ‘nuff said,” Dane snorted. “Not much longer to Wireless though, right?”

“I’m counting down the minutes, not just the days,” Ellie chuckled as she leaned back against her boyfriend’s muscled chest, happy that another exam was behind her, and the days of fun were growing closer and closer- days she intended to make the most of, whether they were with Dane, with her friends or her new sister.

“Afternoon,” Janet said as Ellie walked through the front door of the flat, dropping her handbag on the sofa en route to the bathroom. “Before you go in there, you might be interested to know you got some post today…”

“Huh, okay,” Ellie replied as she closed the bathroom door behind her. “Does it say who from?”

“Logo on the envelope says ‘University of the Arts London’,” Janet replied, before smirking as she heard a loud commotion behind the bathroom door, followed by Ellie flying out of it at high speed with an anxious look on her face. “Have you washed your hands?”

“Oh- shut up,” Ellie grunted as she tore the envelope open and read the letter, her hands trembling with nerves.

“Don’t get too excited,” Janet cautioned in a reserved voice. “I remember opening a lot of those letters when I was your age, didn’t get either of my first two-“

“Yeah, well,” Ellie interrupted, a wide grin spreading across her face, “can I get excited about an unconditional offer?”

“You- an unconditional offer?” Janet asked, shaking with excitement herself as she stood up. “You got in?”

“I got in!” Ellie squeaked, bouncing up and down uncontrollably and sharing a tight hug with her guardian. “Oh my god oh my god, I actually got in! This- oh my god!”

“Congratulations, you deserve this, you really do!” Janet said, sitting back down as Ellie continued to fidget. “Do I need to ask if you’re going to celebrate this?”

“Nope!” Ellie squeaked, finally sitting down and taking her phone out of her handbag.

“Ah- yeah, actually for once, you’re kinda justified jumping straight on Facebook, heh!” Janet chuckled, sitting back with a satisfied look on her face as Ellie hastily typed out her status update. Over the previous few weeks, ever since Jade’s coming out, Janet had observed Ellie’s stress levels rising, and while she initially put this down to Ellie’s exams, she suspected that there had been more at play than just that. Ellie’s sudden relationship with Dane had also caught Janet by surprise, leading the older woman to believe that Ellie had reverted to her old habits of indiscriminately attending parties and flirting with anything with stubble to distract herself from her stresses. Ellie often fell back into the habit of feeling sorry for herself, and Janet hoped that with this piece of good news, the pressure she was feeling would be eased, even if it was only slightly. Janet was sure, however, that the inevitable party Ellie and the other girls would have would ease it a lot more.

As she read and re-read her acceptance letter, Ellie mused on how her life would change yet again when she started her course in September, with Ellie yet again taking a journey into the unknown. She'd still be living with Janet, and with Kacey and Monique both having applied to UAL to study Contemporary Theatre, there was every chance that her 'core gang' would remain intact, but they- Ellie especially- would suddenly become small fish in a very big, very unfamiliar pond. However, Ellie was determined to face this new challenge head-on, because she knew she wouldn’t be facing it alone, as was proved to Ellie every time her phone pinged to inform her of another ‘like’ or comment on her post. It was the private message from one of her oldest friends, though, that got Ellie the most excited…

Exactly 24 hours later, Ellie’s hands trembled with excitement as she teased on a pair of thick false eyelashes and touched up her dusky eye shadow, wanting to look her best ahead of the evening’s activities. The tight mini dress and stiletto heeled shoes only served to accentuate her look, and as always, the better Ellie looked, the better she felt inside. Ellie had never before put as much time and care into her look ahead of a party, even the other parties where she was the centre of attention, but she’d never been to a party quite like that evening’s before. Or rather, she’d never been to a party hosted by anyone quite like that evening’s hosts. And, as she was reminded by the shallow breathing next to her, Ellie wasn’t the only one who had something to celebrate that night.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you with that?” Ellie asked softly, smiling as her sister nervously shook her head in response.

“I need to learn how to do this, don’t I?” Jade asked as she tentatively outlined her eyes with a dark make-up pencil. “I’ve practised enough, watched enough YouTube tutorials…” Ellie smiled as she mused on how she had learned the same way two years earlier- and how much she wished she’d had a big sister to help her during those early months. And the more ‘Jade’ became ‘Jade’, the more she looked just like Ellie did when she was at the start of her journey. The knee-length flared skirt and matching turtleneck top was something Ellie could easily see her 15 year old self wearing- assuming, of course, she'd ever had the chance to do so. Ellie smirked as she thought back to the awkward conversation she'd had with 'Jack' in the coffee shop, and how much easier it was to talk to her sister than it was her brother...

“If you insist,” Ellie shrugged. “Though you are looking great.”

“R- really?” Jade asked.

“Really,” Ellie replied with a supportive, sisterly smile. “It’s a good job there won’t be any boys there tonight, heh!”

“Yeah…” Jade said, fidgeting awkwardly in her flat shoes.

“Oh- don’t worry about THAT, at least not yet,” Ellie advised. “God knows what mum and dad would think if I got a boy or a girlfriend, heh.”

“I’m just amazed they let you come tonight at all,” Ellie said bluntly.

“Me too,” Jade whispered. “But my counsellor said I need to, like, step out of the house eventually, and mum and dad basically said if I want to, you know, transition, I have to, like, ‘prove it’…” Ellie bit her lip as she mused that not everything about her and her sister’s transitions were identical.

“I’m still amazed they didn’t ship you off to a hospital somewhere to be ‘cured’,” Ellie snorted.

“Well- I’m just glad they didn’t,” Jade said. “I want this to be just the first of loads of parties I get to go to. As ‘Jade’.”

“Yeah, just so you’re aware, this party will be a lot ‘better behaved’ than most of the parties you’ll go to in college, heh,” Ellie advised. “Doesn’t mean it won’t be fun, though!”

“Okay,” Jade said, fidgeting again.

“And there’s no need to be so nervous,” Ellie said. “Lesson number one of being a woman. Be. Confident. Even if you feel nervous as hell. Just walk into that place like you’re the queen of the world.”

“And what-“ Jade stammered. “What if I, you know, I say or do something that-“

“Jade, calm down!” Ellie chuckled. “You’ll be fine. Honestly. Sometimes even I, you know, do something that makes me ‘stand out’. But lesson two: be yourself. When you were hanging out with friends at school, did you ever have to, like, catch yourself from doing girly things, or have to consciously act like a boy?”

“All the time,” Jade snorted.

“Tonight, you won’t have to,” Ellie said, giving her sister’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Even with Keira?” Jade asked nervously.

“Don’t worry about Keira, she’s been told to behave herself,” Ellie said. “Did- did you, you know, really like her?”

“I dunno,” Jade mumbled. “Maybe…”

“Well-“ Ellie said, before hesitating. “Just remember lesson one, okay?”

“…Even around other girls?” Jade asked.

“ESPECIALLY around other girls,” Ellie replied with a grin as she straightened her dress and led her sister out into the flat’s sitting area.

“Looking good, girls,” Janet said with a warm, motherly smile as the two teenagers showed off their fancy clothes and make-up. “Take it you’re excited about tonight, then?”

“Umm- just a bit, yeah!” Ellie chuckled, before checking her phone as it beeped to notify her of a new text message. “That’s our lift. See you later!”

“See you,” Janet said. “And give my love to Steph!”

“Will do!” Ellie squeaked as she and her sister headed down to the waiting minibus.

A short while later, after picking up the rest of the partygoers, the minibus pulled up outside the fancy Notting Hill home of Stephanie Abbott and Kayla Ford, two quarters of one of the most famous pop groups in the UK and (at least in the case of the former) one of Ellie’s oldest friends. The seven teenagers all buzzed with excitement as they made their way up the stairs to the fancy flat, where they were greeted at the door by the two young singers.

“Hello miss uni girl!” Stephanie teased, giggling as Ellie’s cheeks began to redden.

“Thanks…” Ellie mumbled as she tried vainly to control her excited giggling. “You didn’t have to do all this…”

“Aww, why wouldn’t I?” Stephanie said. “This is a big deal, worth celebrating, and you’re a friend, right?”

“I guess…” Ellie chuckled.

“Though I am going to have to insist you introduce me to your sister,” Stephanie said with a grin as Jade’s cheeks began to flush.

“H- hi,” Jade said, nervously stepping forward and extending a shaky hand for the singer to shake. “I’m- umm, I’m Jade, Jade Blake…”

“Nice to finally meet you, Jade!” Stephanie said, foregoing Jade’s hand in favour of a gentle hug, an action that nearly made the teenager explode with excitement.

“Well, don’t stand out here in the stairs all evening, come on in!” Kayla said, chuckling as she led the teenagers into their home and switched on the stereo. “Help yourself to food and drink, we’ve been ordered by your parents not to give you any alcoholic drinks tonight, so sorry about that.”

“Though that’s not the reason Nikki and Sarah aren’t here tonight,” Stephanie giggled. “You’re not the only ones with exams to worry about. Speaking of, when you go to UAL, remind me to introduce you to a friend of mine called Ian, he might be studying there next year too and I know you two will hit it off!”

"Thanks," Ellie squeaked as she rocked back and forth on her heels with excitement.

“But I don't want to hear any talk of exams tonight,” Kayla continued. “Tonight, we insist you relax and most of all, have fun!”

The seven teenagers wasted no time in heeding Kayla’s words. They ate, they drank, they sang and danced, seemingly every second of which was captured on the phones of at least one of the girls and occasionally, much to their excitement, on the phones of the two hosts as well, which helped to keep the energy levels high long into the evening.

Janet was half asleep in bed when she heard the front door of the flat open and close, followed by the familiar sound of Ellie’s handbag dropping onto the sofa and the teenager heading to the bathroom to remove her make-up and make use of the facilities. Before she could fully full asleep, however, Janet’s rest was interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing- and when she saw who it was who was ringing her, she was immediately wide awake and alert.

“Lindsay?” Janet asked, trying in vain to hide her concern for her daughter. “It’s after 11pm, why are you calling this late?”

“D- dad,” Lindsay sniffled, her voice betraying the tears she’d shed. “I- I need help, can- can you come, please?”

“What’s happened?” Janet asked as she immediately jumped out of bed and began changing into her day clothes. “Where are you?”

“Outside home,” Lindsay said. “Mum, she- she’s gone mad, she’s kicked me out, I don’t know what to do!”

“Can you get a taxi here?” Janet asked.

“All my stuff’s been thrown on the doorstep…” Lindsay sobbed.

“Wait right there, I’m calling a taxi now,” Janet said. “I’ll be there in a bit. Don’t go anywhere, Lindsay, even if your mother tells you to. I’ll be right there.”

“O- okay,” Lindsay sniffled as Janet ended the call and immediately ordered a taxi from an app on her phone.

“What happened?” Ellie asked as Janet stormed through the living room to grab her purse and her coat. “I heard voices…”

“It’s Lindsay,” Janet said, her voice wobbling with panic. “Lisa’s kicked her out.”

“Wh- in the middle of the night?” Ellie asked incredulously. “Why, exactly?”

“Take a wild guess,” Janet snorted, before frowning. “Ugh, I didn’t mean it like that, Ellie, just-“

“No, I know what you mean,” Ellie snorted. “Ugh, it was probably my fault, we all took selfies with Stephanie and Kayla, she must have seen them on Jodie or Keira’s Facebook or something. We’re usually careful about that…”

“It’s not your fault Lisa’s a bigot,” Janet said, staring at her phone in the vain hope it’d make the taxi arrive quicker. “Come on…”

“I- I’ll go with you,” Ellie said.

“That’s not necessary,” Janet scowled.

“No, I- I want to,” Ellie said softly. “Lindsay’s my friend, I want to help her.”

“Well- thanks,” Janet said with a smile. “But she’ll be bringing stuff back here as well, we’ll need space in the car.”

“She- she’ll be coming back here with her stuff?” Ellie asked. “Won’t it be a bit cramped?”

“What am I meant to do, let her sleep out on the streets?” Janet snapped back, before sighing. “I- I’m sorry, Ellie, I’m just a bit on edge… Lisa taking out her frustrations on me is one thing, but to just throw Lindsay out like that… What kind of parent could do that to their child at such short notice?” Janet bit her lip as she noticed Ellie fidgeting uncomfortably, realising that the eighteen year old knew better than anyone else the answer to her question.

“…You’re right, though,” Ellie mumbled. “Take it from someone who knows, Lindsay should NOT sleep somewhere like a homeless shelter tonight. I’ll get some sheets out of the airing cupboard and make up the sofa, if you like?”

“Please,” Janet said, taking a deep breath as her phone pinged to inform her that her taxi had arrived.

Mere minutes later, Janet’s taxi pulled up outside her old home and the middle-aged woman all but leapt out and ran to her daughter, wrapping the distraught girl in a long, tight hug.

“Oh god, Lindsay…” Janet said, holding the teenaged girl in her arms until she began to calm down. “What- why did this happen?”

“E-Ethan,” Lindsay sniffled. “He- he saw some of the photos we put online from tonight, he showed them to mum, she- she just went berserk when she saw Ellie in them. Asked how long we- we’d been friends, if I spoke to you… When I- when I said I did, she- she just went on a rampage, tore all my stuff out of my room, threw it all out, threw me out… Said if I wasn’t gone within an hour she’d call the police…” With every word her daughter said, Janet felt her rage building higher and higher.

“Where exactly did she expect you to go?” Janet asked.

“She-“ Lindsay said, before taking a big gulp of air. “She said she didn’t care where I went, just as long as I went away.”

“She what?” Janet said, her voice contorting into an angry hiss.

“She said she never wanted to see me again,” Lindsay sobbed. “Said I- I was no longer her daughter…” Janet felt something in her mind snap as she released Lindsay from her arms and marched toward her old front door with a look of pure anger spread across her face.

“LISA!” Janet yelled as she banged on the front door. “Lisa! Open the door!”

“What do you want?” Janet’s ex-wife angrily shouted out of her bedroom window. “Get out of here before I call the police! And take that- that-“

“Innocent teenaged girl?” Janet asked. “Person you’re punishing for doing nothing wrong? Your daughter?”

“She stopped being my daughter the second she chose you over me!” Lisa hissed. “Ten seconds, then I’m calling the police!”

“Who’s it hurting, her having contact with both of us?” Janet asked.

“Five seconds!” Lisa screeched, before slamming her window shut, stunning Janet into silence.

Save for the angry trembling of her whole body, Janet stood perfectly still as she tried to process the events she’d just witnessed. Seventeen years earlier, Janet- or rather, John- and Lisa had been overjoyed when they became the parents to a baby girl. In the intervening years, Lisa had doted over Lindsay just as much as Janet herself had, so for her to so callously discard the teenager left Janet baffled. All she knew for certain was that the angry, self-centred woman that had just yelled at her and Lindsay was not the woman she’d fallen in love with in the nineties.

“…So what do we do now?” Lindsay asked in a scared, feeble voice.

“We go home,” Janet said in a firm, stoic voice. “Start loading your stuff into the taxi, Ellie’s making up the sofa for you at home.”

“Won’t- umm, won’t it be a bit, you know, cramped?” Lindsay asked.

“I’m not letting you sleep on the streets or in some homeless shelter,” Janet insisted as she and the taxi driver began to load Ellie’s possessions into the boot.

“Oh- I’m grateful for tonight, I really am,” Lindsay said, “but, you know, what about the night after that? Or after that? Your flat isn’t big enough for three people, and it’s not like Ellie can move back home with her parents either…”

“Let me worry about that,” Janet said. “We’ll take it one day at a time, okay? I’m- well, yeah. No matter how I’m dressed, no matter what my name is, no matter what my gender even is, I’m still your dad, and that means that I put you first, always. Assuming you’ll have me, of course?”

“God, yes!” Lindsay said with an almost exasperated chuckle as she exchanged another hug with the middle-aged woman. “And not just ‘cause I’m homeless if I don’t, heh.”

“And stop talking like that,” Janet chastised as she and her daughter climbed onto the back seat of the taxi. “This is just a minor setback, nothing more. A few weeks from now, you’ll have made up with your mother and things will be back to normal.”

“Doubt it,” Lindsay snorted.

“Then we’ll just have to adapt to a new ‘normal’,” Janet said determinedly as the taxi ferried her and her daughter back to her compact home.

The two women arrived home to find Ellie already in bed, and Janet and Lindsay both decided to follow suit. However, while Lindsay quickly feel asleep on her impromptu bed on the sofa, Janet found herself tossing and turning all night through worry. Despite her determination, she was forced to concede that Lindsay and Ellie were right- the flat was far too small for three people, but her wages were also far too low to afford anywhere bigger for the three of them. Janet would have been well within her rights to apply for a home from the local council for the three of them, but she didn’t doubt that the waiting list would be long and the eventual home they found would be dismal and likely no bigger than her flat. However, Janet was determined to try, to provide a decent home for both of her daughters and prove to herself, and to the rest of the world, that she was a capable parent.

Janet woke earlier than usual the following morning, and after preparing breakfast for herself and the two girls, she made a call to her place of work explaining that due to the situation, she would need the day off- a request her manager happily agreed to. After Lindsay and Ellie left for college and work respectively, Janet powered up her laptop and started searching through the internet for any solution to her problem- a larger, cheaper place to live, a higher paying job, even legal counsel on what her and Lindsay’s rights were. However, all of Janet’s searching was in vain- there were no affordable flats or houses and no jobs in her field of expertise that didn’t require recent experience. Frustrated and needing to clear her mind ahead of a second search, Janet logged onto Facebook for a quick distraction, and it was there that she began to find some answers when a message popped up on her screen

‘Hey Janet,’ the message, which was from Stephanie Abbott, read. ‘How’s things today?’

‘Hey Steph,’ Janet replied. ‘Not great today cheers but I’ll cope. Thanks again for the party last night, the girls had a great time!’

‘I know about what happened with Lindsay,’ Stephanie typed, her sudden and uncharacteristic bluntness making Janet momentarily pause. ‘Ellie messaged me last night after she got home. What can I do to help?’

‘Honestly, you’ve done so much already for me and Ellie, I don’t want to be a burden to you,’ Janet typed.

‘You’re not a burden, you’re my friend and I want to help,’ Stephanie retorted. ‘It’s partly my fault anyway, I should’ve been more careful where I posted the photos online, sometimes forget just how many followers I have.’

‘It’s a bit embarrassing, though,’ Janet typed. ‘Having to ask for help from someone half my age.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with asking for help,’ Stephanie typed. ‘Remember how and where we first met? Because we both needed help. And we both found help with each other.’

‘It’d be nice if you needed my help just once though,’ Janet replied, smirking as she received a ‘smiling’ emoji in reply.

“I kinda get that,’ Stephanie said. ‘The whole need to be independent kind of thing. What kind of work did you do again? Back before you were the real you, I mean?’

‘Worked in HR for an investment firm in the city,’ Janet replied. ‘Been a long time since I’ve done that, though. Probably going to be a checkout girl the rest of my life. Still, better than being a checkout BOY lol.’

‘You said it girl!’ Stephanie typed with a ‘giggling’ emoji. ‘Though I’ve kind of had an idea, give me about ten minutes and I’ll get back to you okay?’

‘Umm sure,’ Janet replied, going back to browsing her Facebook wall.

As promised, just over ten minutes later Stephanie sent another message to Janet, though this message consisted of just a time and an address- and an instruction to dress smartly.

Two hours later Janet, dressed in a smart pencil skirt and a clean white blouse, walked into the head office of Heavenly Talent, one of the country’s most prestigious talent agencies- and the one that represented Janet’s friend Stephanie. After introducing herself to the receptionist, Janet was ushered upstairs to a small waiting area, where she found her famous friend waiting for her.

“Nervous?” Stephanie asked with a smile, giggling as her older friend rolled her eyes in response.

“It’s a job interview I’ve had no time to prepare for,” Janet replied. “What do you think?”

“You’ll be fine, honestly,” Stephanie said. “It’ll be Joshua who’ll be doing the interview, he kinda has a thing for giving potential employees no time to prepare, thinks people are more likely to give honest answers that way.”

“He sounds a little… Eccentric,” Janet said.

“And what is wrong with eccentric?” A powerful voice boomed across the room in an accent Janet couldn’t place, but that sounded to her like a cross between London and Western Africa. Janet smiled nervously as she stood up and straightened her skirt, before accepting the tall man’s firm handshake. “My name is Joshua Benedict, it is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Cole, Stephanie has sung your praises!”

“Thank you, and please, call me Janet,” the middle-aged woman replied. “I think Stephanie may have talked me up a little… And if- if I can be honest, please?”

“I insist on it,” Joshua replied.

“I- I don’t want to be interviewed out of pity,” Janet said, her voice degrading to a mumble as Joshua shook his head.

“No no no,” Joshua said in a soft voice. “I do not offer jobs out of pity. “I pride myself on being a philanthropist but ‘philanthropist’ does not mean ‘charity’. If I interview someone for a job it is because I need the job filling and I believe they can do the job well. And I do need this job filling, especially with a New York office opening later this year. Heh, I feel almost like you are interviewing me!”

“…Sorry,” Janet mumbled.

“Do not apologise!” Joshua chuckled. “You will be working in HR, you need good interviewing skills! One of which is answering as many questions as you ask. Come to my office, we shall get this interview started.”

“Good luck, not that you’ll need it,” Stephanie whispered, giving Janet’s hand a supportive squeeze as she walked past.

Fifteen minutes later, after a long conversation about her life and her work, Janet walked out of Joshua’s office with a wide smile on her face as a newly-minted employee of Heavenly Talent Inc. She still needed to sort out her, Ellie and Lindsay’s living arrangements, and she wouldn’t actually start working for the company for another two weeks as she had to work her notice period at the supermarket, but she was happy that she’d made a step in the right direction. She just wished that her wife hadn’t made it necessary for her to do so…

Fifteen days later, Janet, Meredith and Shannon sat around their usual table in their usual pub enjoying their usual Friday evening drinks, but in a more subdued atmosphere than usual.

“I can’t believe I’m not going to see you when I go into work anymore,” Meredith said with a sad sigh as she sipped her wine. “It’s like the end of an era, you know? Though I’d probably be crying more if it was me leaving, I mean, this way I’m only missing one person instead of everyone, but- oh, umm, sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Janet said softly. “And believe me, I WILL miss you two. Just wish heavenly Talent had more jobs going, heh.”

“I actually looked,” Shannon said. “Nothing I’m qualified for.”

“Maybe you should look again when they open their American office,” Janet teased. “Reckon you and Jason would suit the Big Apple, heh.”

“…Maybe not,” Shannon giggled. “You’re still coming to the wedding though, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Janet giggled. “Already bought a dress and a hat with my wage advance. And yes, yes, I know, I’m meant to be sensible, save the money for around the house costs especially after moving, but, you know? Can’t a girl treat herself?”

“I hope so!” Meredith chuckled. “And I hope we can still have these Friday nights, you know, ‘cause you’re still working daytime hours so we can all meet up after work at the same time, even if it might be a bit of a trek for you to get from the Heavenly Talent offices in the centre of London and, you know, you might want to hang out with people from that-“

“I’ll be here, don’t worry,” Janet said with a smile. “Nowhere I’d rather be.”

“Speaking of your new home,” Shannon asked, “Are you going to have a housewarming party? Or do you want to get a little more settled in first?”

“Oh, there’ll be a party,” Janet replied with a mock sigh. “Tonight, in fact. It just won’t be me hosting it, heh…”

Later that night, after Janet had returned home and gone to bed, Ellie sat in her pyjamas on her new double bed in her new, much larger bedroom, staring at the other two pyjama-clad girls who were also sat on her bed.

"...Okay, fine," Ellie said, sighing loudly as she turned her back to the girls and placed her hands behind her neck. "Stupid bet..."

"For what it's worth, I was trying to lose," Jade said as she and Lindsay produced multiple differently-coloured bottles of nail polish from Ellie's drawer. "Guess you must've tried harder than me, hehe!"

"What did you type in there, anyway?" Lindsay asked.

"Erm... Can't even remember!" Ellie replied, giggling and cringing as the other two girls began repainting her nails with random colours. The bet had been silly- registering fake accounts on a dating app with the loser being the last one to receive any messages, but what had made it fun was that Ellie was doing it with two girls her own age that weren't just friends, but family. Ellie had never had a proper slumber party before, and obviously neither had Jade, and while it was a small, quiet party with just the three girls, neither Ellie nor Jade would have wanted it any other way.

As she laid in her bed trying to sleep, Ellie mused on how much her life had changed for the better recently. She had gone from having a brother to having two sisters, from having no future to having a place on a course at a well-renowned university, from being borderline afraid of boys to having a tall, handsome boyfriend, and had gone from living in a tiny flat to a suburban house almost as big as her parents’. And yet, even as she put her exams behind her and got ready to enjoy the summer, Ellie still felt uneasy. Her parents could change their mind about ‘Jade’ at a moment’s notice, as could Lindsay’s mother about her. There was no guarantee Ellie would succeed at university or even pass the exams she’d just taken. Dane could dump Ellie at a moment’s notice, and her new home was only guaranteed for six months at a time on the whim of their landlord.

Despite her worries, Ellie was determined not to be pessimistic about the future. She would face obstacles, for sure, but she was determined to seize the multiple opportunities life had given her. She would grow closer to Jade as the sisters they truly were regardless of what her parents said. She would study hard at uni and party hard as well, with Dane or without him, and she would come to view her new accommodation as her home, just as she had done the old flat. And she would learn to love Lindsay as a sister as well, for the sake of the one person who was a constant positive influence in Ellie’s life- Janet.

No matter what, Ellie knew that Janet would always act in her best interests and be the great parent that her own mother and father had failed to be. Her leaping to Lindsay’s rescue at a moment’s notice had been proof of that, and even though they weren’t related by blood, Ellie knew that Janet would do the same for her in a heartbeat. And had done, after she had been attacked by Ethan. Ellie just prayed that between her, Lindsay and her new job, that Janet wouldn’t work herself TOO hard…

“It’s not going to go any faster by looking at it,” the older man admonished Ellie as she stared at the clock on the shop’s wall.

“…Sorry, Chris,” Ellie replied to her manager as she tried to stop her cheeks from flushing at her telling off.

“I get that it’s the summer holidays and it’s hot and you’d rather be outside,” Chris said in a calm, understanding voice. “God knows I did when I was eighteen. Then again, when I was eighteen, I couldn’t afford to take weekends off to go to music festivals, heh.” Ellie grinned as she remembered the events of the beginning of the month, when she spent three days with her friends and her boyfriend in the north of the city at one of the loudest, most cramped and most fun music festivals she had ever attended.

However, as much fun as she had at the festival, Ellie still couldn’t shake the feeling that something had been missing. Her friends had been with her for every day of the festival, but her new sister hadn’t. Ellie tried to console herself with the knowledge that as Jade was only fifteen (her birthday wasn’t until the end of August) and that she’d be allowed to attend in future years, but she still felt guilty that she’d been away having fun while Jade had been struggling with the important first few weeks of her own transition. Ellie had made a conscious decision to support Jade and be there for her as much as she could throughout the summer holidays, but wherever Jade went, her parents went too, which meant yet more stress for the young woman.

While Ellie was forced to admit that her relationship with her parents had improved since Jade’s coming out, it was only an improvement in that it went from 'non-existent' to 'existent'. Ellie and Jade’s mother and father had outwardly lived up to their promise to give the younger girl the support she needed, but Ellie still harboured doubts about their sincerity and concerns that eventually, Jade would be coerced into attending ‘conversion therapy’. Mostly, though, Ellie felt resentment that Jade’s transition was accepted, whilst her own had been rejected. And as hard as she continued to try, Ellie couldn’t help but direct some of that resentment at her new sister. Nonetheless, she was determined to support her to the best of her abilities.

At first, the change to Ellie’s living arrangements and the related upheaval in her life had make this task harder, but as she settled into her new home and her new routine, Ellie quickly developed her new comfort zone. A large part of this was, much to Ellie’s surprise, thanks to her new housemate. Despite the anger that came with their first ever meeting, Ellie and Lindsay had quickly bonded as friends, their similar circumstances of parental estrangement helping to bring the two closer together. There were even times when Ellie felt closer to Lindsay than she did to her own sister. And, of course, Ellie continued to feel closer to Janet than she did to either of her biological parents. Despite having her own biological child under her roof, Janet had continued to give Ellie all the time and attention she needed and hadn’t played favourites during the rare disagreements between the two teenagers. Ellie continued to view Janet as the most ‘real’ parent she had, even as the older woman allowed her more and more freedom and responsibility with her life. There was, however, still one ‘line’ of Janet’s that Ellie was not allowed to cross no matter how much she pleaded- though over the prior few months, Ellie had become adept at finding ways around the ‘line’.

“Hey you, stalking me outside my place of work,” Ellie said with a wide grin as she left the shop and immediately greeted her boyfriend with a long, deep kiss.

“Hey babe,” Dane replied with a goofy grin. “Does it count as actual stalking if we’ve been going out for months, though?”

“Hmm…” Ellie mused, a wide grin spreading across her face. “Depends on how long you were out here, hehe!”

“Half an hour?” Dane asked, before grimacing and chuckling. “Okay, maybe two or three minutes, heh.”

“…Think I’ll skip calling the police this time, hehe!” Ellie giggled as she and Dane linked fingers before heading to the nearby bus stop for their respective rides home.

While Ellie was making her way home, her guardian was also finishing up her working week at her still-new job. Janet had settled into her new role with relative ease, thanks largely to the support she had received from her managers, but it had still been a large leap to return to her old career after almost two years of scanning groceries for a living. However, Janet found it easy to disregard the few negatives to her job- especially the dress code, even on a hot day such as the one that had just ended for the middle-aged woman.

“See you on Monday, Ella,” Janet said as she walked through the almost deserted reception area, smiling at the sound of her low-heeled shoes clicking against the polished floor and the feeling of her smart pencil skirt tugging with every step she took.

“See you Janet,” the head receptionist for the prestigious modelling agency replied. “Got anything planned for the weekend?”

“Nah, just relaxing in front of the TV,” Janet replied. “You?”

“Definitely going to take advantage of the Sun while I can!” Ella said with a giggle. “You got the house to yourself this evening, then?”

“Well… Eventually,” Janet replied, smirking as she left the office building and got in her car, driving out of the centre of London and toward the north-east of the vast city- specifically, toward a pub where she knew her two best friends would be waiting for her.

“Hello, office lady!” Shannon teased as Janet approached the table where she and Meredith were sat, still dressed in the blue uniforms they wore to work.

“Hello, married lady!” Janet retorted, earning giggles from her newlywed blonde friend. “Ahh… Another week over, hehe!”

“Well, for some of us,” Shannon said, making herself and Janet giggle as the third member of their group sighed and blushed.

“It’s only two hours tomorrow morning,” Meredith said in reply. “And it’s just a very small internet radio station, it’s not like I’m going to be taking over from Chris Evans or anything, and it’s still a probation period so there’s no guarantee I’ll still be doing it this time next month, not that I’m not going to try my hardest, you know?”

“Mmm,” Shannon replied almost dreamily, before giggling and blushing. “Oh- umm, sorry, I was kinda- kinda thinking about Chris Evans. Though probably not the same Chris Evans as you, hehe!”

“And what would Jason think, hmm?” Janet teased, making the young blonde woman’s cheeks go an even deeper shade of red.

“…Probably about Scarlett Johansson, hehe!” Shannon replied. “Or about one of the women you’ve been working with all week?” Janet and giggled her eyes as she suddenly became the target of the table’s good-natured teasing.

“I don’t actually work with the models,” Janet said in response. “Not even hiring or firing, I mostly just deal with the backroom staff, management, that sort of thing.”

“Isn’t Jamie-Lee Burke part of the management team?” Meredith asked. “I mean, Jason’s got to be attracted to her, right? Not that I mean he’s more attracted to her than he is to you, I mean in a general sense, like the whole Captain America thing you were just talking about-“

“I get it, it’s okay,” Shannon chuckled even as Janet fidgeted in her seat.

“Of course,” Janet said hesitantly, “as it’s Jamie in particular we’re talking about, he may not be…” Janet bit her lip as her muttered comment caused an awkward silence to fall over the table.

“…If he isn’t,” Shannon said. “Well, not for that reason, anyway- we may need to have words, heh.” Janet smirked as her friend smiled to let her know that no offence was intended or taken.

"What are you two doing tonight, anyway?" Janet asked. "You got married two weeks ago, I'd have thought you'd want to spend all day every day in his- well, company?"

"Yeah," Shannon replied with a shy grin. "But I've got my whole life to be with him, he can spare me for an hour and a half to be with you two every week, heh."

"You've got him well trained, then," Meredith said with a chuckle. "I mean, when I had my first boyfriend when I was eighteen, I'd spend all my time with him when I could but I'd always make time to go out with my friends when they asked. That was actually what broke us up in the end, he felt he was more entitled to my free time than even I was."

"Sounds like a total arsehole," Janet snorted.

"Oh, he was," Meredith said with a roll of her eyes. "Didn't even have a cute arse to surround the hole." Meredith smirked as both of her friends nearly choked on their wine.

"Oh- well Jason has definitely ticked THAT box, hehe!" Shannon giggled. "Think he's actually out tonight with a few mates from work. And I figure, you know, I can't fault him if I'm out, you know?"

"As long as he knows who's boss," Janet advised.

"Yep," Shannon replied. "Both of us, fifty-fifty. A partnership, like marriages should be, heh."

"And then, when you have kids, you and Jason get 'five' each and the kid gets 'ninety'," Janet teased, making her friend blush again.

"Gonna be a while before THAT happens, believe me," Shannon chuckled. "Unless you can guarantee me a place at the nursery where the Angels are sending their kids, anyway."

"Don't have THAT much influence," Janet laughed. "Ahh... Besides which, eventually they'll be teenagers and spending most of their Friday nights out with their friends, heh."

"Are Ellie and Lindsay out tonight, then?" Meredith asked.

"The one who's legally an adult, yes," Janet replied. "As for the one who's still legally a child, the answer to your question is HELL no. Though that's only going to be the case for a few months, heh..."

Sure enough, when Janet returned home, the older of the two girls in her care was nowhere to be seen, while the younger one was curled up on a corner of the sofa in her pyjamas, lazily playing with her phone. As she watched her daughter, Janet couldn’t help but flash back to when Lindsay was four years old, when she would curl up in the exact same spot on the sofa in the exact same way, whether she was watching television, reading a book or avoiding the teasing of her brother. However, the more she watched, the sadder Janet got, knowing that Lindsay should have been relaxing on the sofa in her real home…

“Hey,” the seventeen year girl greeted her parent, not looking up from her phone as Janet took off her shoes and her jacket. “Me and Ellie ordered pizza for dinner, hope you don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Janet shrugged as she headed through to the kitchen, sighing and the predictable sight of the pizza box awkwardly crammed into the bin. “Has she already gone out, then?”

“Yeah, about half an hour ago,” Lindsay replied with a sigh that tugged at her parent’s heartstrings.

“You’ll be eighteen soon enough,” Janet reassured her daughter.

“Yes, yes, I know,” Lindsay replied in an irritated voice. “And I know that I can enjoy my summer break without going out partying every night it’s just- ugh, you know?”

“I think I do,” Janet replied. “Do you get why I don’t want you doing anything that’s illegal or getting into situations where you could get hurt?” Like Ellie did, Janet thought to herself.

“Yes, yes,” Lindsay sighed.

“Think of it this way,” Janet advised. “You’ve got a long day tomorrow, lots of time to spend in the sun hanging out with your friends.”

“Yes, I get it, honestly,” Lindsay huffed.

“…And think of it this way,” Janet said with a sigh. “You’ve only got one year until you’re eighteen, I’ve only got three years until you’re twenty and not a moody teenager anymore!” Janet smirked as Lindsay shot her an angry glare, one she’d seen many times before as a response to her teasing but one she didn't mind receiving at all if it meant having her daughter under her roof.

The two women eventually headed to bed just after 11pm, both falling asleep long before Ellie returned to the flat, stumbling through the door in her extra-high heels and tiny clubbing dress. Ellie was soon asleep in bed herself, and remained that way until the middle of the following morning, when she was awoken by the sound of Janet and Lindsay moving around downstairs- and by the throbbing pain in her head.

“Ah, good morning, sunshine!” Janet cheered, making Ellie wince with pain as flopped down onto the sofa, clad in only her favourite pink dressing gown. “Good night last night, I take it?”

“…Yeah, it was pretty good,” Ellie replied, her foggy memories of the previous night forcing a smile onto her face despite her hangover, memories of dancing and drinking- even if she was melancholy that she couldn't have shared the night with her boyfriend and her surrogate sister. “SO glad I’m not in work today, heh.”

“What time’s everyone coming over?” Janet asked, smiling at Ellie’s recollection of the previous night.

“Umm, whenever,” the blonde girl shrugged. “They’ll text us when they’re on their way.”

“…Okay then,” Janet said. “And will you be staying at the house all day or will-“

“We’ll decide when everyone’s here,” Lindsay interrupted, causing Janet a moment of frustration that quickly passed when she realised that the two girls on the sofa were indeed sisters in all but name.

However, while Lindsay was becoming Ellie’s sister in spirit, there was another girl who was becoming Ellie’s sister in fact, and she was the first to arrive at the house shortly after Ellie had finished breakfast and got dressed.

“Hey, sis!” Jade giggled, giving Ellie a playful hug as she opened the door. “Ahh… I saw your photos from last night on Facebook, looked SO much fun, hehe!”

“Yeah,” Ellie giggled as she led her sister to the living room, marvelling at how much Jade had changed in such a short space of time, both in a physical and emotional sense. The smooth, hairless legs poking out from underneath her short summer dress, her quickly-growing hair and delicate silver necklace were a far cry from how 'Jack' used to look, but what surprised Ellie the most was the internal change from ‘Jack’ to ‘Jade’. ‘Jack’ had been shy and introverted, rarely speaking unless spoken to first and painfully uncomfortable around women- even Ellie. ‘Jade’, on the other hand, had quickly become lively almost to the point of being ‘bubbly’, interacted with Ellie and the other girls as an equal and was rarely not smiling. Even though she was a long way from starting any hormone therapy (she was still a month away from turning sixteen), Ellie mused to herself that it was almost like pulling on a dress was all it took for Jade to become the person she was always meant to be. And even though experience had taught Ellie that that was far from the case, she was forced to admit that at first, she had thought the same way.

…Though that thought quickly soured Ellie’s mood as she was forced to realise that when Jade had dressed for the day ahead, she had done so in her bedroom at home, with the full knowledge and consent of her parents- parents who had ejected Ellie from their home, from HER home, for doing the exact same thing. And while Ellie and her parents were at least on speaking terms again, they were a long way from truly reconciling. The fact that her parents had dropped Jade off at the house and driven away without even saying hello was proof to Ellie that she needn’t waste any time trying to reconcile- though she was forced to admit to herself that she wouldn’t have spoken to them even if they had stayed…

“Hey Jade!” Lindsay said with a grin as the fifteen year old girl flopped down onto the sofa. “I like that dress, is it new?”

“Well, umm, it’s new to me…” Jade said as she showed off her dress to her friend, before biting her lip as Lindsay realised her faux pas.

“Oh- oh god, Jade, I’m sorry,” Lindsay said with a nervous, awkward laugh.

“It’s okay,” Jade shrugged.

“I mean, how long have I lived with your sister and-“ Lindsay babbled.

“Honestly, it’s okay,” Jade said with a reassuring smile. “And the dress is nothing special, just a Primark one. Not got the biggest or poshest wardrobe yet for obvious reasons, heh.”

“Well- well it looks great on you, heh!” Lindsay said, smiling as her younger friend grinned in reply. “Right, Ellie?”

“Oh- definitely better than what you were wearing this time last year,” Ellie chuckled as Jade rolled her eyes.

“Well duh,” the fifteen year old girl replied. “You know anyone other than you saying that would be insensitive, right?”

“Yeah,” Ellie shrugged. “Still true though.”

“…Yeah, it is!” Jade replied, sharing a giggle with her sister as she waited for the rest of their friends to arrive.

Before long, all seven girls had decamped to the house’s small back garden, where they spent the rest of the day relaxing, gossiping and soaking up the sun's warm rays.

“Ahh…” Monique sighed as she stretched her lithe, dark-skinned body out on a garden chair. “Really don’t want summer to end, you know?”

“You got a place at uni then, Mon?” Keira asked.

“Yes I have!” Monique replied with a giggle. “Depending on my results, gonna be studying drama at Nottingham University this September!”

“Aww, that’s so cool!” Jodie giggled. “Pity it has to be so far up in the north, though, I’m gonna miss you…”

“Yeah, I’ll miss you guys too,” Monique sighed. “But, you know? Gotta take the opportunities I get, right? Not all of us are smart enough to get into a London uni…” Ellie giggled and blushed as Monique overtly pointed in her direction.

“Heh, just lucky, I guess?” Ellie giggled. “Though we are TOTALLY throwing you a going away party, hehe!”

“You’d better!” Monique giggled. “Don’t suppose there’s any chance you can get Steph Abbott to come along, is there?”

“Umm… Probably not,” Ellie said with a sympathetic sigh that turned into a giggle. “Especially if rumours are to be believed, hehe!”

“Ah, she will be SO good on Strictly,” Kacey giggled.

“And it’s about time girls like us got some representation,” Jade said, biting her lip as an awkward silence fell over the garden. “Umm…”

“’Girls like us’ of course meaning ‘every girl who’s been on the show since 2004’?” Ellie asked her sister, who smiled and nodded.

“Too right,” Jade said with a giggle that was shared with the other girls.

“And on the topic of parties,” Kacey teased the younger girl, who began to blush. “Any idea yet what we- yes, WE- are doing for your sweet sixteen?”

“Ah yeah, forgot I was in a queue!” Monique giggled.

“Honestly, I don’t want a huge celebration,” Jade mumbled.

“Well I DO,” Ellie said. “It’s a big birthday, and not just because it’s your 16th, but, well, your 1st too. You need to, like, introduce yourself to the world, that sort of thing.”

“Well- I dunno…” Jade mumbled.

“Trust your big sister on this,” Ellie said with a smile. “Coming out is a big deal, you’ve earned the right to celebrate.”

“Oh- it definitely would be nice,” Jade said. “It’s just- well, you know… Mum and dad…?” This time, it was Ellie’s turn to bite her lip as the awkward silence returned to the garden. However, before Ellie could reply, the silence was broken by the sound of the patio doors opening and Janet emerging into the garden, followed by several young men that put smiles on the faces of many of the girls.

“Hey girls,” Janet said in a serious, almost tired-sounding voice. “Found these on the doorstep. Usual rules apply, I really don’t want to have to enforce them.”

“Yes, yes, thanks dad,” Lindsay sighed with embarrassment, before smiling as her new boyfriend approached and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips- a smile that widened as the teenaged girl saw the look of disapproval on her parent’s face.

Lindsay and Joe had only been going out for two weeks, but had quickly grown close in that time- too close, as far as her father was concerned. Janet was firm in her ‘no boys at sleepovers ‘rules, but was certain that Lindsay and Joe had somehow snuck behind her back, especially as she watched the two of them cuddle together on the grass. What surprised Janet the most, though, was that she felt equally uneasy watching Ellie and Dane also trying to squeeze together into one garden chair.

“Hey babe,” Dane said, laying down next to Ellie and giving her a gentle kiss. “What did I miss?”

“Girl talk and lots of it,” Ellie replied with a giggle.

“So, nothing important then?” Dane teased, laughing as Ellie gave him a playful shove.

“If you must know,” Ellie sighed, “we were planning Jade’s birthday party next month. She’ll be sixteen, so kinda need to make it special, you know?”

“A party?” Dane asked with a grin. “Am I invited?”

“Ugh,” Ellie spat, momentarily confusing her boyfriend. “Don’t get me wrong babe, normally- yeah, I’d love you to be there, but- but it’s, you know, gonna be at my parents’ house…”

“Okay, ‘nuff said,” Dane sighed. While he had yet to meet Ellie and Jade’s parents, Dane had been told enough horror stories by Ellie that he was in no rush to meet them- just like Ellie had intended.

“For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have minded,” Jade said as she adjusted her bikini top. “Well, until my parents came in the room, anyway.”

“Yeah, I get it, I get it,” Dane said, before frowning as an awkward silence fell over the three teenagers- though the silence only lasted as long as it took for Ellie to slip her hand into the back pocket of Dane’s jeans.

“I’ll turn my back,” Jade said with a half-sigh, half-chuckle, rolling over on the grass to talk to Jodie and Kacey while her sister flirted with her boyfriend.

The flirting, chatting and sun worshipping continued for the rest of the afternoon before the teenagers all eventually dispersed and headed back home. However, even this increased the tension levels in Ellie’s body, as while most of the teenagers had either walked or taken public transport to the house, her sister had been given a lift by their parents, meaning that their parents would be returning to pick her up.

Ten minutes after all the guests apart from Dane and Jade had left, a knock came from the front door, which Janet instinctively got up to answer.

“Wait,” Ellie said, stopping her guardian in her tracks before she reached the door. “I- I’ll get it.”

“Are- are you sure?” Janet asked, fully aware of who was on the other side of the door, and why answering it might cause Ellie unnecessary stress.

“It’s my home too,” Ellie shrugged.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Janet said as Ellie took a deep breath and opened the front door.

“Oh- umm, hello,” Ellie’s mother said, clearly taken aback at the sight of her elder daughter greeting her. “Is Jac- umm, is- is Jade ready to leave?”

“Yep, right here,” Jade said, her manner much more subdued than it was earlier that afternoon. “Ready to go.”

“Did you have fun today?” Sharon asked stoically.

“I did,” Jade replied with a smile. “Looking forward to hanging out at Jodie’s on Tuesday.”

“And to her birthday party,” Ellie said, the words slipping out before she could control her tongue. “We- umm, we, like, talked about it today…”

“Oh,” Ellie’s mother said. “Well, umm, we were thinking of having a quieter celebration, just family.”

“Did you ask Jade what she wanted?” Ellie asked defiantly.

“Ellie,” Janet said softly in a vain attempt to defuse the tension in the room.

“We are still her parents,” Ellie’s mother said. “We know what’s best-“

“Like you knew what was best for me?” Ellie asked, immediately biting her lip and stifling a groan of frustration the second the words left her mouth.

“…We’ll be going now,” Sharon said in a curt voice. “Despite what you just said you’re still welcome to come and visit Jade tomorrow if you want.”

“I- I’ll be there,” Ellie mumbled.

“Alone, if you don’t mind,” the girls’ mother said, shooting a very overt dark glare at Dane as she and Jade left the house and drove away.

“Ellie-” Janet said softly as the front door closed.

“I know, I know,” Ellie interrupted. “It’s just- ugh! Every time I see her, I get so wound up…”

“It’s okay, I know you do,” Janet said softly.

“And you heard how she called her ‘Jack’, right?” Ellie asked. “Doubt that was a slip of the tongue.”

“It IS a large change for her to get used to,” Janet said. “Just, you know, playing devil’s advocate… I can understand why you’re concerned though.”

“They still expect her to become ‘Jack’ again,” Ellie snorted as she and her boyfriend slumped down onto the sofa. “Hell, they probably still expect me to become ‘Liam’ again.”

“Don’t write them off just yet,” Janet advised. “Anyway, I’m going to make some dinner now, Dane, are you staying?”

“Umm, please, Ms. Cole,” the seventeen year old boy replied.

“I’ll drive you home after we’ve eaten,” Janet said, before leaving the three teenagers to themselves and heading to the kitchen to prepare their meal.

As Ellie ate, she mused on how Janet could often be as strict as her own mother- for example, not even giving Dane the option of staying after the end of dinner- and yet beyond the occasional moment of frustration, Ellie never harboured any ill feelings toward her guardian. Ellie figured there were multiple reasons for this- in addition to their obvious shared connection, they had both been rejected by their families, and Janet had welcomed Ellie, at the time a total stranger, into her home when she had nowhere else to go. Ellie was certain about one thing- she would much rather have been raised by Janet than by Sharon and David.

After dinner, Ellie headed up to her bedroom, where she wasted no time in logging into Facebook on her phone, smiling and letting out a small sigh of relief when she saw that her sister was online.

‘Hey Jade,’ Ellie hastily typed into messenger and sent to her sister.

‘Hey sis!’ Jade replied with a ‘giggling’ emoji. ‘Long time no talk lol!’

‘Lol,’ Ellie replied. ‘You just eaten dinner?’

‘Yep,’ Jade replied. ‘Just chilling on the sofa now.’ Ellie smiled at this news- in the past, if 'Jack' had been on the sofa, in front of 'his' parents, there was no way the chat could've proceeded uninterrupted.

‘Still wearing that cute dress, I hope?’ Ellie asked, smiling as she got a ‘grinning’ emoji in reply.

‘Any reason why I wouldn’t be?’ Jade typed.

‘None at all,’ Ellie replied with a grinning emoji of her own. ‘Is everything okay with Sharon and David, though?’

‘Umm, you mean mum and dad?’ Jade replied, making Ellie bristle. ‘Things are good as ever, why do you ask?’ Ellie started typing out a reply, only to stop when another message from her sister came through. ‘Never mind, I’m guessing this is about you and mum this afternoon?’

‘It’s not ABOUT it,’ Ellie typed. ‘I’m just worried, that’s all.’

‘Well I AM fine,’ Jade replied. ‘And I told mum and dad about your idea for my birthday and they’re okay with it. You can ask them tomorrow if you don’t believe me.’

‘I believe YOU,’ Ellie typed. ‘It’s them I’m not sure about.’

‘Well believe me, they are okay,’ Jade typed.

‘Even when they’re calling you ‘Jack’?’ Ellie asked. ‘I heard what Sharon said. Do you get called by the wrong name a lot?’

‘No,’ Jade immediately replied, before following up with another, more carefully-considered reply. ‘Maybe a few times. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like they deliberately do it.’

‘Do they apologise when they do it?’ Ellie asked.

‘I don’t notice,’ Jade replied. ‘Probably, I guess.’ Which is more than they’ve ever given me, Ellie thought bitterly as she quickly diverted the topic of conversation away from Jade’s home life and onto more enjoyable topics.

The two sisters chatted for another hour about mostly trivial things, Ellie deliberately changing the topic of conversation whenever Jade tried to talk about their family. Eventually, Jade was called away and logged out of Facebook, but not before saying goodbye to her sister, and asking her to at least be civil to their parents the following day. And while Ellie promised her sister that she would behave, she couldn’t guarantee to herself that she’d be able to keep that promise…

Ellie woke up earlier than usual the following morning due to her excitement (and, to a lesser extent, due to her anxiety) at going to her family’s home later that day. After a quick shower, she headed back to her bedroom to muse on what outfit she’d wear to her parents’ house- or, as she mentally referred to it, Jade’s house. Ellie knew that her usual overtly feminine style of short skirts, heavy make-up and tight-fitting tops tended to rile her parents up, especially since her oestrogen treatments had begun to make noticeable changes to her body. She’d hoped that Jade’s transition would make her parents more sympathetic to her own personal style, but much to Ellie’s frustration, the opposite seemed to be true. However, Ellie was determined that regardless of Sharon and David's feelings, she was always going to be true to her own self. Ellie pulled on one of her trademark short skirts, followed by a loose, soft summer top and a pair of 2" heeled wedge sandals. Ellie didn't leave her bedroom until she was satisfied with her look- which included a thick layer of make-up including her favourite make of blood red lipstick.

“Good morning,” Janet said as Ellie descended the stairs and made her way into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Ellie replied. “Linds up yet?”

“It’s 8:45am on a Sunday morning,” Janet replied. “Take a wild guess. I was astonished when I heard you moving about upstairs just now, thought we had burglars or something.”

“Oh ha ha,” Ellie snorted as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Besides, you know why I’m up this early, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Janet said with a sympathetic smile. “Are your parents coming to pick you up or would you like a lift?”

“I’ll be okay on the tube,” Ellie shrugged. “Not like I don’t know the way there, heh.”

“Yeah, it’s not your sense of direction I’m worried about,” Janet said quietly, frowning as Ellie groaned with frustration.

“It’s not like I haven’t been round there loads of times since Jade came out,” Ellie retorted.

“True,” Janet said. “Do you nearly get into shouting matches with your mum every time you go around?”

“Okay, one,” Ellie replied angrily. “I didn’t ‘shout’ at her yesterday. And two…” Janet frowned in confusion as Ellie trailed off.

“…Two?” Janet asked.

“Two…” Ellie said, blinking back a solitary tear. “Sharon isn’t my mother anymore, you are.” Janet bit her lip to stifle a tear of her own as Ellie turned away to disguise her own emotions.

“Yeah…” Janet said quietly. “I think we both know that I’m not, not really. But thank you for saying so anyway, good to know I’m doing some good at least.”

“Yeah,” Ellie said, sipping her coffee. “Anyway, umm, I’m probably going to be out until late afternoon, so, umm, yeah…”

“Yeah,” Janet whispered, staying silent as Ellie finished her breakfast, grabbed her handbag and left the house.

Janet let out a sigh as her young charge shut the door behind her- while she wasn’t Ellie’s counsellor, let alone a biological parent, she still felt a responsibility to the young woman beyond providing food and shelter. Every time Ellie became stressed, particularly about her family, it made Janet worried for the young woman. However, she was forced to admit to herself that if Ellie’s relationship with her parents ever dramatically improved, she’d be more worried that she’d move back in with them…

Janet’s musings were interrupted mere minutes after Ellie’s departure by the sound of an upstairs door opening and closing, followed a few minutes later by the house’s youngest resident entering the living room, dressed only in her pyjamas, and flopping onto the sofa.

“Hey dad,” Lindsay said as she switched on the television. “Ell already gone out?”

“Yes, ‘Linds’, ‘Ell’ left a few minutes ago,” Janet replied, smirking as her daughter rolled her eyes at her. “What? I think it’s cute, the two of you using little pet names for each other like that.”

“Whatever,” Lindsay replied, making Janet giggle.

“Breakfast’s in the fridge, where it always is,” Janet said as she provided the seventeen year old girl a mug of coffee. “You got anything planned for today?”

“Dunno,” Lindsay shrugged. “Might text Martin later, see if he’s free.”

“Great,” Janet sarcastically replied, earning another eye roll from her daughter. “Just as long as you’re not still wearing that when he gets here.”

“No, obviously,” Lindsay replied. “Was thinking of wearing a t-shirt and that new skirt I got last week.”

“What, the light blue one that’s about eight inches too short?” Janet asked, giggling again as her daughter groaned.

“It’s summer, you wear shorter skirts in summer,” Lindsay retorted, before frowning in confusion as her father laughed even louder. “…What?”

“There was a time a few years ago you wouldn’t wear a skirt even if you were paid, regardless of the season,” Janet chuckled.

“What, I’m not allowed to be a girly girl?” Lindsay protested. “Bit hypocritical, isn’t it?”

“Only if I was criticising you,” Janet replied. “Which I’m not, I’m just commenting on the change.”

“Okay,” Lindsay shrugged. “And I dunno, I see what a kick you and Ell get out of dressing up, and, you know, why shouldn’t I, like, not enjoy it, just ‘cause I was born this way?”

“No reason at all why you shouldn’t,” Janet replied with a wide, genuine smile.

Ellie took a deep breath as she walked up the short path to her parent’s home. It was a path she’d walked down many times, even since the start of her transition, but she still felt anxious. Ellie found it odd how relieved she felt when she rang the doorbell, as if it was reaffirming the fact that she was merely a guest in the house.

“Oh, hey Ellie!” Jade said with a giggle as she opened the door, dressed in a loose patterned tank top and a short denim skirt. “Come on in, mum and dad have gone to the supermarket so we’ve got the place to ourselves until they get back, hehe!”

“Cool!” Ellie giggled as she followed her sister up to her bedroom, where the younger girl sat down cross-legged on her bed while Ellie quickly investigated the room.

In the few weeks since Ellie’s last visit to Jade’s room, it had changed considerably. The blue walls had made way for a softer yellow colour, the furnishing were all soft and light, and taking pride of place in the room was a dressing table with a growing collection of make-up on top of it. Ellie mused on how similar it was to her own bedroom at home- and how she'd never have been allowed a bedroom even remotely like it if she'd still been living under Sharon and David's roof...

“You approve?” Jade asked with a smug grin on her face.

“Oh- definitely,” Ellie giggled. “Really love the furniture, is- is this new?”

“Kinda an early birthday present,” Jade chuckled. “As is half the stuff in the wardrobe, heh.”

"Okay... Is that an invitation to look?" Ellie asked with a cheeky grin.

"Go right ahead," Jade replied, giggling as her older sister opened the wooden doors.

“You’ve got a lot of great stuff in here,” Ellie said as she idly browsed through the tops and dresses in the wardrobe. “I’m guessing ‘Jack’s clothes are-“

“Spread across three different Oxfam shops,” Jade chuckled. “Underwear’s in a landfill somewhere. Believe me when I say I AM totally committed to this change.”

“Oh, I believe you, I really do,” Ellie said.

“Then why do you look like someone’s just taken a shit on your bed?” Jade asked, her initial giddy enthusiasm quickly disappearing as Ellie let out a long sigh.

“Because it took me YEARS to get a wardrobe this full,” Ellie sighed. “And Sharon and David didn’t spend a single penny to help fill it.”

“Ugh, Ellie…” Jade groaned, before letting out a quiet, sympathetic sigh. “No, maybe they didn’t.”

“’Maybe’?” Ellie snorted.

“Okay, more than just ‘maybe’,” Jade replied. “Don’t take it out on me, though, not my fault if mum and dad are trying to make up for their past mistakes.”

“Yeah, but they’re not, though,” Ellie grunted as she sat down next to her sister. “If they were, they’d have helped me as well as you.”

“Well- I guess,” Jade said, fidgeting awkwardly in her skirt.

“And I don’t mean to take it out on you, I really, really don’t,” Ellie sighed. “I- I’ve been talking to my counsellor about this, especially since you came out. She reckons I’m jealous of you, and I guess, in a way, I maybe am.”

“’Maybe’?” Jade said, echoing her sister’s earlier comment. “…Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Ellie shrugged. “…Do you know that mum and dad haven’t even apologised to me? Never even said they were sorry for kicking me out of the family and treating me like shit?”

“No, I didn’t know that,” Jade mumbled. “Have- have you ever, you know, asked them to apologise?”

“Well- no,” Ellie was forced to admit.

“They- umm, I mean, mum and dad sometimes come to my counsellor meeting with me,” Jade said.

“They’re probably not going to be as happy to come to my meeting,” Ellie snorted.

“No,” Jade admitted. “But maybe- maybe you could come to my next meeting? I mean, I talk about you with my counsellor a lot, and she’s said she’d like to meet you…”

“Okay,” Ellie shrugged. “When’s your next meeting?”

“Umm, tomorrow…” Jade mumbled, making her older sister roll her eyes and giggle.

“Good job I’m not at work tomorrow then,” Ellie said, before chuckling and leaning in for a gentle hug with her sister.

“Ah…” Jade sighed happily. “You want to talk about jealousy, your hair and your skin! Hugging me must feel like hugging a hedgehog…”

“A ‘hedgehug’?” Ellie giggled, before sighing happily as her sister pouted. “No, seriously though, you’ve done a good job of, you know, getting rid of all the unwanted hair. Maybe I should get you a day at a beauty salon for your birthday? Heavenly Talent own one, Janet can get, like, an employee discount and all…”

“That sounds AWESOME,” Jade said with a happy sigh. “If we can persuade mum and dad, anyway…”

“Yeah…” Ellie sighed. “But it’s hardly, you know, weird for a sixteen year old girl to get a makeover on her birthday, is it? And there’s plenty more party to plan as well, hehe!”

“Yep!” Jade giggled, watching intently as Ellie got her phone out and showed Jade some of the ideas she’d come up with the previous night.

The sisters’ morning was interrupted less than an hour later, though, when their parents returned from the supermarket. Ellie felt her body instantly tense up as the front door opened, which didn’t go unnoticed by her sister.

“Are- are you okay?” Jade asked in a quiet, timid voice.

“Y- yeah, I’m fine,” Ellie said, taking several deep breaths to compose herself. “Huh, it’s not like I didn’t know they lived here, heh.”

“Jade?” The girls’ mother called from downstairs. “Jade, we’re back, is your sister up there with you?” Ellie felt herself relax as she heard her mother’s words- referring to Jade by her real name instead of her dead name, and referring to Ellie herself as Jade’s sister put the eighteen year old girl’s mind almost completely at ease. However, she couldn’t guarantee that she’d still be relaxed when she saw her parents…

“Yeah, I’m here,” Ellie replied before Jade had the chance to speak.

“We stopped off at Starbucks on the way back,” Ellie and Jade’s mother said. “Figured the two of you might be thirsty.” Yeah, a coffee isn’t going to make up for the last two years, Ellie thought bitterly to herself as she and Jade made their way downstairs.

“Hi you two,” the girls’ father said as the two girls entered the kitchen. “Have you two had a fun morning?”

“Yeah,” Jade replied. “We’ve been talking about my party, heh.”

“Oh- yes, that…” the girls’ mother said uncomfortably.

“We were- we were thinking of going out for a meal that evening,” Ellie and Jade’s father said. “Somewhere fancy, we can all get, umm, dressed up…” Great choice of words, Ellie thought to herself.

“What, just the four of us?” Jade asked.

“Or just the three of you?” Ellie asked, before grimacing as she immediately regretted her choice of words. “Umm…”

“It would be a family meal,” Ellie’s father said sternly.

“…But that doesn’t answer my question,” Ellie mumbled quietly.

“Ellie,” the girls’ mother sighed, “did you come here just to start a fight?”

“No, I came here to see my sister,” Ellie replied.

“Yes,” the girls’ mother sighed. “Yes, you’d be invited along. At least in public, you might act a bit more maturely.”

“I- I’m sorry?” Ellie asked.

“Yes, you should be,” the girls’ father snorted, making Jade sink in her chair as she sensed her sister’s temper reach boiling point.

“I- what?” Ellie hissed. “Are you serious?”

“Ellie, ple-“ Jade whispered.

“The way you treated me over the last two years, and I’M the one who should apologise?” Ellie said, barely keeping her voice below a shout.

“You-“ Ellie’s father angrily snapped, before grimacing and taking a deep breath. “That- that isn’t unfair.”

“I- I’m, umm, what?” Ellie asked.

“We were actually speaking about this in the car,” Ellie’s mother said with a heavy sigh of her own. “Especially after yesterday, when I picked Jade up, we- we don’t want to keep continually sighting with you, Ellie.”

“And calling me immature and saying I should apologise for being who I am is your plan?” Ellie snorted.

“And constantly jumping down our throats is yours?” Ellie’s father asked. “I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be angry. But as you like reminding us, you’re an adult now. So start trying to act like one.” Ellie felt her blood pressure rise over the perceived insult from her mother, but as hard as she tried to think of a retort, she was forced to concede that the older woman had a point.

“We do want you to be a part of this family again,” Ellie’s mother said softly, making the eighteen year old girl bite her lip to keep herself from crying.

“But you didn’t two years ago,” Ellie said. “You were very clear about that two years ago, in fact. I can’t forget that.”

“I know,” Ellie’s mother whispered. “And I- I am sorry. Jac- umm, Jade coming out too shows us that we can’t afford to lose both of you.”

“But you can afford to lose one of us?” Ellie asked, before groaning loudly and sighing. “Ugh, I’m sorry… And I- I accept your apology.”

“I know it doesn’t make up for the last two years,” Ellie’s mother said quietly.

“No,” Ellie concurred. “But it- it’s a start.”

“And we don’t want to lose either of you,” the sisters’ father said. “We realise that now. Well, ever since going with Jade to her counsellor, anyway.”

“Ell- Ellie’s coming with me tomorrow,” Jade said softly. “Dr Williamson said she wanted to meet her so, well, yeah…”

“…Seems like a good idea,” Ellie shrugged.

“Yeah,” Ellie’s mother said. “Well, we’re both at work tomorrow, otherwise we’d have come along too… Unless- unless you’d rather we didn’t?”

“I don’t mind,” Ellie said. “It should really be about what Jade wants.”

“I- I’d like it if you could all come, you know, one day…” Jade said in a quiet timid voice, before letting out a small, happy laugh as her parents and her sister all smiled- the first time in a long while that all three people had smiled at the same time.

Ellie also found herself almost completely at ease as she and her family discussed not just Jade’s upcoming counsellor meetings but her birthday as well, and was shocked when her parents approved of Ellie’s suggestion of a salon visit. When the time came for Ellie to head home, she almost couldn’t bring herself to leave the house- though after a quick toilet stop before she left, a glance inside her old bedroom and the sight of storage boxes piled on her bed was enough to remind her that the house wasn’t truly her home anymore.

The following day, as promised, Ellie went with Jade to her counsellor’s meeting, and spoke earnestly to the older woman about her own transition, as well as listening intently to any advice she had about both her transition and Jade’s. All the while, the counsellor emphasised how important it was for Jade to have the support of her parents, and how beneficial it was for Ellie to repair her own relationship with them. Janet’s enthusiasm about the rapprochement, and her encouragement to keep seeing her parents also bolstered Ellie’s confidence and determination to repair a relationship she’d once thought permanently lost.

At the end of the month, Ellie, Jade and their five close friends gathered to celebrate Jade’s sixteenth birthday with, as promised, a group trip to the Heavenly Talent-owned beauty salon (arranged with Janet’s help), before Ellie and Jade changed into their smartest dresses (the latter’s dress being a birthday present from her parents) and enjoying a pleasant meal with their parents at a fancy restaurant.

As the summer holidays drew to an end, Ellie couldn’t help but wonder whether or not her relationship with her family- not just her parents, but Jade too- would continue to improve, or whether or not it was just a ‘holiday’ in more than one sense of the word. When she returned home, it was always to Janet’s house. When she needed parental advice, it was Janet she turned to, and even though Jade looked up to her for sisterly advice, when Ellie needed advice of the same kind, she sought out Lindsay above Jade. And yet, as her counsellor reminded her, she was lucky to have two families to turn to whenever she needed them.

What Ellie didn’t know, though, was just how jealous Janet was of her improved relationship with her family- and her hope to one day be reconciled with her own wife and son...

“And remember to be careful, okay?” Janet said, trying not to smirk as the eighteen-year-old girl rolled her eyes before getting out of her car.

“I will,” Ellie replied with a sigh. “And thanks for the lift, but you don’t need to do this EVERY day.” Hint taken, Janet thought to herself.

“Well, it’s your Oyster Card,” Janet shrugged. “Give me a text when you’re on your way home, okay?”

“Sure,” Ellie replied with a nonchalant shrug of her own. “See you later, Janet.”

“Bye!” Janet said with a wave, laughing to herself as she drove away from the university.

“Just so we’re clear,” Lindsay said from the car’s back seat, “you are NOT giving me a lift to uni on my first day. Actually, could you drop me, say, just down the road from college when we get there?”

“Nope,” Janet replied, giggling as her daughter let out a loud, frustrated sigh.

“Oh- come on, dad…” Lindsay whined, before her face contorted into a grimace as she suddenly worried about what her parent might have inferred from her complaint. “I- I’m not embarrassed of you, you know, just because you’re, you know, trans…”

“I know,” Janet whispered, biting her lip to keep her own emotions in check. “And I was seventeen once, believe it or not. I wouldn’t have wanted my dad dropping me at college either, heh. I’ll let you out down the road as long as you promise to be careful, okay?”

“Okay,” Lindsay replied with a smile. “Thanks, dad. I- I am glad you’re my dad, honestly.”

“I know,” Janet said, blinking back a tear. “And text me when you get home, okay?”

“Will do,” Lindsay said, smiling as she grabbed her bag and climbed out of the car. “See you later, dad.”

“See you,” Janet said with a small wave as she watched her daughter walk away, though the smile returned to her face when she saw Lindsay meet up with her friends- not just Jodie and Keira, but the newest member of their ‘gang’, Ellie’s sister Jade.

Over the summer holidays, both Ellie and Lindsay had gone out of their way to include Jade as ‘one of the girls’, something Janet herself had also eagerly encouraged. Janet had come to view the sixteen-year-old girl almost as one of her own, just as she had her older sister, but unlike Ellie, Jade also had the unconditional support of her biological parents.

Ellie’s relationship with her parents had continued to be a source of stress for her over the summer holidays, and try as she might, she couldn’t help but sometimes transfer some of that stress onto her younger sister as well. Janet had been privy to more than one argument between the sisters, which always broke her heart- especially when Lindsay inevitably got dragged into the middle of it as well. The three girls always quickly worked things out after their arguments, but that didn’t stop Janet from being worried about the root cause of the problem.

Janet had hoped that the day’s events would help to repair the relationship between Ellie and her parents- despite the many obstacles that had been placed in her way, Ellie had earned her place on a course at a prestigious university, studying a subject she loved and that should help her find a good career after she’d graduated. All of this was a far cry from the depressed, dejected and demotivated girl that Janet had met almost two years earlier, and she’d hope that Ellie’s parents would acknowledge and celebrate her achievements, but every time Janet picked Ellie up from her parents’ home, she was as moody and dejected as she’d ever been. Even though she knew it wasn’t her place to do so, Janet felt the constant urge to head around to the Blakes’ home and talk some sense into them, even if she had to shout to do so…

“Hey, Janet!” The smartly dressed young receptionist said as the middle-aged woman walked into the clean, modern main office of Heavenly Talent.

“Hi Sandy!” Janet replied with a smile. “Is JB in yet?”

“Been in a conference call since 7:30 this morning,” Sandy replied with a chuckle. “Unless you mean the older JB, in which case he’ll be in this afternoon, and will probably in a conference call with our New York lawyers until 7:30 this evening, heh.”

“It was the younger JB I wanted,” Janet said. “Just need him to sign off on some of the performance reviews, hopefully he won’t mind them being a day- well, a day and weekend- late.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Sandy said with a smile. “He knows it takes a while to settle in at a new place. Speaking of, wasn’t it Ellie’s first day at uni today?”

“That… Got around fast, heh!” Janet chuckled.

“It’s just ‘cause Jamie was asking,” Sandy explained. “You know she’s fond of Ellie, even though she’s not legally a part of the Heavenly Talent family-“

“You can never have too many friends,” Janet interrupted, giggling as the receptionist nodded. “I’ll let Ellie know Jamie was asking after her. Is she in today?”

“Jamie?” Sandy asked, smiling as Janet nodded. “Filming Celebrity Juice today, won’t be in until Thursday, and even then, she and Nikki will be too busy planning JB junior’s birthday party, heh!”

“Speaking of JB junior, better get to my office!” Janet chuckled as she headed into the rear area of the Heavenly Talent offices, where she switched on her computer and began reading through the reports she’d written. As she worked, the middle-aged woman couldn’t help but muse on how strangely normal it seemed for one of the most famous women in the UK to casually ask about Ellie as though she was asking about an old friend. As Janet mused, a text came through on her telephone from her and Ellie’s friend Stephanie, another national celebrity, asking the same thing about Ellie. Janet, Ellie and by extension Lindsay had become members of a much larger family who genuinely cared for them, and even though Jamie and Stephanie had each amassed vast personal fortunes and millions of followers on social media, Janet didn't for one second doubt their sincerity. Janet only wished that her and Ellie’s biological families could show them the same kind of unconditional acceptance.

Ellie kept a cool, confident look on her face as she walked through the modern halls of her university, even though inside, her stomach was churning with anxiety. Every time one of the many young men in the college gazed at her young, slender body dressed in her clingy turtleneck and her pleated miniskirt, Ellie felt proud of her carefully cultivated look, but each glance also filled Ellie with nervousness. The memory of Ethan’s assault lingered in her mind even after almost a year and a half, and despite her best efforts, Ellie was constantly reminded that every stranger she met was a potential transphobe and as such, a potential threat.

Fortunately for Ellie, she and all the other new students in the university weren't short of distractions from their anxiety. After registering for her student ID, Ellie headed to the main hall of the college to check out the various groups and societies on offer, one of which caught Ellie's eye immediately as she entered the room- or rather, the rainbow-coloured flag pinned to the booth did.

“Hi!” The brown-haired girl, who looked barely older than Ellie herself, said as Ellie approached her modest booth. “Are you interested in joining our society?”

“Umm, hi, yeah…” Ellie replied nervously as she glanced around, wary of who might be listening to her conversation. “Can- is there a place, umm, we can talk privately?”

“Umm, sure!” The girl replied, directing Ellie to a quiet corner of the hall while her friend took over her booth. “I’m Sally, by the way. Sally Jones.”

“Ellie Blake,” Ellie replied with a nervous giggle.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie!” Sally said, smiling warmly as she shook Ellie’s hand. “I’m guessing- stop me if I’m wrong, of course- you’re interested in joining the society, but you’re not quite, you know, out right now? Because we’ll totally respect your privacy if you do join, and offer any help we can if you do choose to come out.”

“Well… Yes and no, kinda…” Ellie mumbled. “I’m not- umm, by which I mean, like, I’m straight.”

“Oh, umm… Okay,” Sally said, a look of confusion spreading across her face. “So, umm… I mean, we’ll always accept an ally in the group, just- oh.” Ellie bit her lip as a look of realisation spread across Sally’s face.

“Yeah,” Ellie whispered. “Wasn’t always called ‘Ellie’.”

“I see,” Sally said, nodding before the smile returned to her face. “Well that- that’s okay too! Again, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m guessing- just by looking you, I mean- that you’ve been, well, public for a while?”

“Over two years,” Ellie replied with a proud smile. “Still several months away from my gender recognition certificate though.”

“Ah, that sucks,” Sally sighed. “Why they don’t refer people for that when they start hormones is beyond me, I mean, you’ve committed to making the physical change, right?”

“I dunno either,” Ellie shrugged. “Just a fact that most of the people in power just see ‘LGBT’ and immediately think ‘ewwwww’ and that becomes a law, heh.”

“Ugh,” Sally spat, shaking her head. “I can’t even count the number of times I’ve read about transgendered people being victims of crime. On the other hand, being perpetrators of crime, especially all these idiots who say us girls would be under threat in, you know, public toilets? Never ever happens. At least, not in my experience.”

“Exactly,” Ellie sighed. “And- ugh, and I- I was one of those ‘victims’ once, that’s why I’m so nervous-“

“That’s all I need to know,” Sally interrupted, the warm smile returning to her face. “You want me to respect your privacy? You’ve got it. On one condition.”

“Umm… Which is?” Ellie asked.

“That you and me become friends,” Sally said, making Ellie giggle and nod.

“Deal,” Ellie replied with a giggle, before giving her contact details to her new friend and heading back to the society’s stall with her.

“You know,” Sally said with a friendly smile, “you DO pass convincingly. If you hadn’t told me, I probably wouldn’t have, you know, ‘guessed’.”

“Thanks,” Ellie replied. “Helps that you never knew ‘Liam’, heh.”

“Meh, or those that thought they knew ‘Liam’ never really knew ‘Ellie’,” Sally retorted. “Umm, if that makes any sense whatsoever?”

“Yeah…” Ellie grimaced, making her new friend giggle. “I kinda do, I suppose. Like, Ellie is the ‘real’ me and ‘Liam’ is just, like, a mask I wore when out in public? “

“Oh- Ellie is totally the ‘real’ you, heh,” Sally giggled as she took her place at her booth. “Guessing you’re doing music theory, then?”

“Safe guess,” Ellie giggled as she gestured around at the walls of the dedicated music college they were in. “You too?”

“Third year,” Sally replied. “In between all this as well, heh!”

“Heh,” Ellie chuckled as another student approached the booth. “I’ll let you get back to ‘work’, heh!”

“See you later, Ellie!” Sally chuckled as Ellie wandered around the other societies’ booths in the cramped main hall.

Ellie felt a weight lift from her body as she walked away from her new friend, satisfied that she had made not just a friend, but a genuine friend and an ally. However, Ellie was still conscious of the fact that Sally was just one friend in a college of hundreds and wasn’t even in the same year as her. The ease with which Ellie had befriended Sally made her confident that she would be able to make at least some other friends during the first week, though every time she tried to pluck up the courage to introduce herself to someone, the voice in the back of her head reminded her that anyone she spoke to wasn't just a potential friend, but a potential transphobe as well, and it wasn't just her feelings that could be hurt if things went awry.

Ellie spent the rest of the day registering for her various classes and checking out the other societies she could join, but in the end, Ellie decided not to join any of them other than the LGBT society, and when she left the university, she tried to console herself with the knowledge that she had made at least one new friend, and would make more once the LGBT society met for the first time. Ellie hoped she would make more friends who were actually on her course, though she was constantly worried that her paranoia would render that impossible…

“Hey Ell,” Lindsay said as the blonde girl walked through the door to find the sofa filled with her three friends from college as well as her sister.

“Umm, hey, girls,” Ellie replied as she took off her shoes and dropped her handbag on the coffee table. “What are you all doing here?”

“Charming,” Jade snorted, before letting out a girlish giggle that was shared with her three college friends. “Keira’s mum and dad won’t be home until late so Linds said we could all come here to hang out.”

“I’m just amazed YOUR mum and dad were okay with that,” Ellie scoffed.

“OUR mum and dad,” Jade reminded her sister, before shaking her head and giggling again. “Anyway, not important, tell us, how was uni?”

“It was… Okay,” Ellie shrugged.

“What, just ‘okay’?” Jodie asked. “Come on, you’re not exactly, you know, selling the whole uni life to us!”

“Meh, it was, you know, just, like, registering on the course and stuff,” Ellie shrugged. “And besides, the whole ‘uni life’ is, like, living away from home…” Ellie paused and bit her lip as she exchanged an awkward glance with her sister, who was just as aware as Ellie that the older girl was, in a way, living away from home.

“Umm, okay…” Lindsay said, fidgeting awkwardly.

“Anyway,” Ellie said, shaking her head and forcing a smile on her face. “How was college, anyway? Not that I miss the place or anything, hehe!”

“It was okay,” Keira shrugged. “Same as always, really.”

“You still getting on okay, Jade?” Ellie asked her sister, who shrugged and grunted in the affirmative. “Cool, then… You –you haven’t had any, you know, ‘trouble’, have you?”

“Maybe a bit,” Jade mumbled in reply as her cheeks flushed, which caused Ellie to fidget uncomfortably, though not as much as Lindsay did when both sisters cast subtle glances in her direction.

“We’re always around at break and lunch, though,” Keira said with a grin.

“Yeah,” Jade concurred with a chuckle. “Haven’t, you know, made that many friends in my class, or my year, though. People who went to my school kinda, you know, avoid me…” Ellie felt a pang of guilt as her sister mumbled and appeared to be almost in tears- what Jade had said also exactly described Ellie's first day at college. And came close to describing her first day at university, too...

“Their loss,” Lindsay said defiantly, giving the younger girl a quick one-armed hug and bringing a smile to both sisters’ faces. “I suppose that’s something about uni, you know, it’s, like, a fresh start, no one knows your history, that sort of thing?”

“I guess,” Ellie shrugged. “Also means, you know…”

“…What?” Lindsay asked, frustrated by her friend’s mumbling.

“Just, you know, stuff,” Ellie shrugged, before thinking to herself that anybody at university could potentially be like her friend’s brother, a comparison she knew would anger Lindsay. “Anyway, I hope you were all keeping Dane out of trouble today? You know, ‘cause I’m not around to keep an eye on him anymore?”

“Don’t worry, Dane knows who’s boss,” Jodie chuckled. “It’s the one NOT wearing the trousers, hehe!” Ellie giggled as she played with the hem of her short skirt, before relaxing back onto the sofa and immersing herself in her friends' stories from college.

Janet let out a long sigh as she entered the house to be greeted by the sight of five teenaged girls sprawled out on the sofas, with two large, empty pizza boxes and several empty cans of Coke littering her coffee table. However, she couldn’t help but smile at the happy, contented look on her daughter’s face, as well as the ones on Ellie’s and Jade’s.

“You really can never have too many friends,” Janet whispered to herself before striding into the living room with a stern look on her immaculately made-up face. “And I suppose I’m cleaning this all up, am I?”

“Oh, I’ll do it in a bit…” Lindsay whined. “Keira’s parents will be here soon, I’ll tidy up once she’s left.” Janet forced her frown to deepen, even as she internally giggled at her daughter’s stereotypically teenaged behaviour. “…Okay, fine…” Janet smirked as all five girls jumped to their feet and began tidying away the mess, finishing just before a knock came from the front door.

“Ah, hi Elaine,” Janet said as she opened the door and allowed Keira’s mother into her home. “Good day out today?”

“Yes, thanks,” Elaine replied with a polite smile that Janet could immediately see through. When she was Lindsay’s father, Janet had always had cordial relationships with Ethan and Lindsay’s friends’ fathers and considerably more distant relationships with their friends’ mothers. Janet had allowed herself to believe that her transition would bring her closer to the other women, but if anything, she found it even harder to maintain friendships, even with those like Elaine who had never met 'John'. Janet knew full well why this was, and in a small way even understood it, but it served as a constant reminder that she would always be different, and there would be those, such as her ex-wife, who would never accept her no matter how hard she tried.

“See you all later,” Keira said as she and Jodie exchanged hugs with the other three girls. “Jade? You need a lift home?”

“Oh- umm, no, my- my parents are coming to pick me up in a bit,” Jade mumbled, fidgeting as she felt his sister scowl.

“Meh, okay,” Keira shrugged. “See you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yep, see you!” Lindsay said as Jodie and Keira left with the latter’s mother. Janet allowed herself a small sigh of relief as the guests left her house, but even this was picked up on by her daughter and her friends.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t THAT bad,” Ellie said as she curled up on her end of the sofa and turned her attention toward her phone. Besides, the eighteen-year-old thought to herself, the really bad bit’s coming next…

Sure enough, less than fifteen minutes later, another knock came from the front door, and Ellie felt herself immediately tense up.

“Hi Sharon,” Janet said politely as she answered the door.

“Hello, Janet,” Ellie & Jade’s mother replied in a curt but still polite voice. “Jade? Are you ready to go?” Janet managed to suppress a bristle as the other women casually brushed her off- it was still a vast improvement on their previous relationship, and she had at least used her younger daughter’s real name without flinching or stuttering, which was also a vast improvement.

“Yeah, just let me get my shoes on,” Jade replied, straightening her knee-length denim skirt as she stood up and headed toward the door.

“Did you have a good day at college?” Sharon asked her daughter, who shrugged dismissively.

“It was okay,” Jade replied. “Same as always, really, lots of work, sort of thing.”

“As long as you’re still working hard,” Sharon said with a smile. “Gonna be a lot harder when you get to uni!” Ellie felt her body tense up at the mention of university- her mother knew full well that the day was her first at university, and she was not going to let her leave the house without at least acknowledging it. However, she was interrupted before she was able to say a single word.

“Speaking of university,” Janet said with a proud smile, “today was Ellie’s first day.” Janet stared expectantly at Sharon, though like Ellie, she didn’t expect much response from the other woman.

“Oh- umm, okay,” Sharon mumbled, deliberately avoiding eye contact with her older daughter and her guardian as an awkward silence fell over the room. “Anyway, umm, we’d better get going, David will be home soon… Yeah.”

“Okay,” Janet said, not making any effort to hide her disappointment. Janet bit her lip as Jade and her mother left the house, before letting out a disgusted sigh once the door was closed behind them- though the sigh soon turned into a yelp of surprise when she heard a loud outburst from behind her.

“FUCK!” Ellie yelled, grabbing one of the cushions off the sofa and violently hurling it to the floor.

“Whoa, Ell-“ Lindsay said, jumping at the sudden outburst.

“What do I have to do!?” Ellie wailed as she slumped down onto the sofa. “Win a fucking Nobel Prize or something?”

“Ellie, calm down!” Janet urged, kneeling in front of Ellie and gently squeezing her hands. “You’re not doing yourself any favours getting worked up like this. You know what your parents are like, right?”

“Uh- uh-huh,” Ellie mumbled as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“I know you want things to be more normal between you and your parents,” Janet whispered. “It’s only natural, I mean they ARE your parents, or at least, they’re supposed to be.”

“It- it’s like every time I think things are getting better, they just go right back to square one,” Ellie moaned. “And now they’re rubbing Jade in my face.”

“They- they’re not doing that, really,” Janet feebly protested.

“Really?” Ellie spat. “Jade’s fourth week at college, they fawn all over her. My first day at uni? Nothing. And they knew. They KNEW it was today.”

“When- when are you next seeing them?” Janet asked.

“Never, hopefully,” Ellie grunted.

“Now- now you know you don’t mean that,” Janet said softly, smiling supportively as Ellie frowned and started to cry again. “You need to talk to your counsellor again, tell them about this, see if she can get your parents in for a sess-“

“No, nuh-uh,” Ellie said, shaking her head. “Ugh, I- I dunno. I think I’m gonna get an early night, you know, uni tomorrow…”

“Okay,” Janet whispered, before picking Ellie’s phone up from where it was dumped on the coffee table and handing it to the distraught girl.

“Umm… Thanks?” Ellie said, fiddling with her phone. “You- do you want me to call someone?”

“Or text them, or Facebook message them,” Janet said.

“…Who, exactly?” Ellie asked.

“Anyone,” Janet whispered softly. “Doesn’t matter who. Steph, Nikki, Jacinta… Just as long as they know you need them. They’ll be there. That’s what friends are for.” Ellie blinked more tears from her eyes as her guardian spoke, though they were tears of happiness. Not for the first time, Janet had proved herself to be far more understanding of Ellie than her ‘real’ parents had ever been.

Ellie didn't waste any time following Janet's advice, and the second she was in her room, she logged onto Facebook on her phone, checking through her friends list to see who was online and available for a chat. After seeing that Monique and Kacey were both offline, Ellie scrolled down to the next friend on her list, and chuckled and rolled her eyes at the person's identity before firing off a quick message to them.

'Hey Steph,' Ellie typed. 'Have you got a second? Kinda need to chat.'

'Hey Ellie!' Ellie's famous friend almost instantly replied. 'Got to head out in a bit but can chat for a few minutes. It was your first day of uni today, wasn't it?'

"Wow," Ellie said aloud. "Nationally famous and with millions of social media followers and even you remember, but my own mother doesn't."

'Yep!' Ellie typed, hoping that the impersonal nature of text communication would disguise her frustration. 'Had a great day, even if it's going to be a lot of hard work!'

'Did you make any friends?' Stephanie asked. 'You're still with your boyfriend, aren't you?'

'Yeah, still with Dane,' Ellie replied. 'And I made one new friend at least, from the uni's LGBT society.'

'Ah, Sarah will be stoked to hear you joined that!' Stephanie typed with a smiling emoji. 'You'll be the most popular girl in the uni within weeks, I bet!' Easy for you to say when you don't have a scar on the back of your head, Ellie thought to herself. 'Take it Janet's happy for you as well?'

'Yeah,' Ellie typed. 'More than can be said for my supposed real mother.'

'What happened?' Stephanie asked.

'Nothing, that's the shitty thing,' Ellie replied. 'Told her it was my first day when she came to pick up Jade even though she knew already, and she just didn't give a shit.'

'That sucks,' Stephanie typed with a 'frowning' emoji.

'Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so,' Ellie typed. 'Sorry to dump all this on you without warning.'

'You vent away,' Stephanie typed. 'Nothing more important than a friend in need.'

'Thanks,' Ellie typed with a smiling emoji. 'Just talking has made things feel a little better lol.'

'Glad to be of service,' Stephanie replied with a smiling emoji of her own. 'Think my taxi's outside to pick me up so I'd better go now, but we will talk tomorrow, okay?'

'Okay!' Ellie typed with another smiling emoji as her friend logged off Facebook, leaving Ellie feeling better for having talked to her, but still angry and frustrated by the afternoon's events.

The following morning, Ellie woke up, showered, ate breakfast and left the house just as she’d done the previous day, and arrived at university feeling just as nervous as she’d done the previous day. Ellie kept an eye out for her new friend Sally as she walked through the small reception area in search of her class, in the hope that spotting a friendly (or at the very least, familiar) face would ease her tension, but she couldn't spot her among the throng of faces walking through the building. Ellie took several deep breaths to calm herself as she arrived at the vast hall for her first lecture, though she felt her body tense up as the seat next to her was immediately filled by another student.

“H- hi,” the student, a blonde-haired girl the same age as Ellie, said in a voice that betrayed her jangling nerves. “Is- is anyone sitting here?”

“No, be my guest!” Ellie replied with a nervous chuckle. “I- I’m Ellie, by the way.”

“Sade,” the blonde girl replied, exchanging a light handshake with Ellie. “So, umm, you- you like music?”

“Umm, yeah,” Ellie replied with a supportive smile, sensing the other girl’s nerves but feeling confused by just how nervous she was. “Who- who’s your favourite band?”

“Out of Heaven,” Sade replied with a shy smile, which widened when Ellie suddenly squeaked with excitement.

“No way, me too!” Ellie giggled. “Did- did you see them at Wembley Arena last year?”

“Uh- hell yeah I did!” Sade said, her posture quickly relaxing. “Really looking forward to their next tour next year, hehe! Assuming Kayla won’t be too busy dancing, that is!”

“Yeah,” Ellie giggled as she weighed up in her mind whether to reveal her friendship with one of the band’s singers to her new friend. On the one hand, Sade might think it was cool that Ellie was friends with Stephanie, but on the other hand, it could easily come across as showing off… One source of comfort to Ellie, though, was the fact that as an Out of Heaven fan, Sade was almost certainly going to be okay with having a transgendered friend. Though, as Ellie reminded herself, Lindsay was also an Out of Heaven fan before she was friends with her…

“You, umm, into any other bands?” Sade asked.

“Little Mix, Imagine Dragons, Dua Lipa,” Ellie replied. “Out of Heaven really are my favourite, though.”

“Yeah, mine too,” Sade mumbled. “You, umm, you from around here?”

“Redbridge, so kinda near here,” Ellie replied. “You?”

“Lowestoft,” Sade replied. “Though obviously not anymore, heh.”

“Yeah,” Ellie chuckled, smiling as the lights in the lecture hall lowered, signifying the arrival of their professor. “You, umm, fancy getting some lunch after?”

“Sure!” Sade said, giggling excitedly before turning her attention back to the front of the lecture hall as the lesson began. Ellie had a smile on her face throughout the lecture as she took her notes- her brief conversation with Sade was enough to convince her that she had the potential to be as close a friend as any she already had, though she still felt her legs tremble at the prospect of telling her about her ‘secret’.

After the lecture, Ellie and Sade headed together toward the college’s cramped dining room, where they wasted no time in resuming their earlier conversation.

“Ugh, this is going to be SO much hard work,” Ellie sighed as she leafed through the reams of notes and handouts from the lecture.

“Yeah,” Sade said with a devious grin. “But fun though, right?”

“Oh, hell yeah it’ll be fun!” Ellie giggled. “Even though most of the fun will be when we’re NOT in uni, hehe!”

“Too right!” Sade said with a giggle of her own. “So, umm, you- are you, you know, living away from home too? I mean, like, ‘cause you’re from London?” Okay, Ellie thought to herself, way to randomly stomp on THAT sore spot… Ellie allowed herself a brief frown, before taking a subtle deep breath to calm herself- after all, she rationalised to herself, if Sade hadn’t figured out that she was transgendered, there was no way she’d know about her relationship with her parents.

“…Yes and no,” Ellie replied. “Not living with my parents, but living with a parent-like person, if you know what I mean. Kinda… Kinda not on great terms with my parents right now.”

“Ugh, I know the feeling,” Sade grunted.

“Umm… I don’t think you do,” Ellie hesitantly retorted.

“Oh yeah?” Sade snorted. “When did you last even speak to your parents?”

“Well, umm, I talked to my mum, umm, yesterday afternoon…” Ellie mumbled as she came to the sudden realisation that she may have made a huge faux pas.

“Seven months for me,” Sade said, before smiling sadly as Ellie’s whole face turned a deep shade of red. “It’s okay. There was no way you could’ve know, right?”

“I could’ve assumed…” Ellie mumbled.

“Yeah, so could I when I asked about your parents,” Sade said, before sighing heavily. “Let- let’s not get this relationship off on the wrong foot, hey?”

“Probably a good idea,” Ellie giggled. “Ugh… You’re probably wondering why I barely speak to my parents, right?”

“I didn’t want to pry,” Sade mumbled. “Guessing it might be similar to me, though?”

“Umm… I doubt it,” Ellie said, subtly examining the other girl’s body and deciding that as she was 5’ 2” and had a slender waist and noticeable curves, she was unlikely to have been born the same was her.

“Umm… Okay…” Sade said, clearly confused by Ellie’s reply. “For me it was when I came out to them…” This time, it was Ellie’s turn to be confused, as well as jealous that Sade had a considerably more convincing body than hers.

“Umm, same here,” Ellie said, before realisation suddenly dawned on her. “…Came out as what, exactly?”

“Umm… As a lesbian?” Sade replied. “My parents are super traditional and my sister’s even worse, when I told them I thought they were going to ship me off to a convent or something. Is- isn’t that what happened to you?”

“Well…” Ellie said through gritted teeth.

“I mean, I did see you talking to Sally yesterday, right?” Sade asked. “From the LGBT society?”

“Yes,” Ellie replied. “Though I- I’m not, umm, ‘L’…”

“Oh,” Sade said, her face falling. “I just, umm, thought…” Ellie felt herself tense up as Sade became increasingly flustered.

“S- Sade?” Ellie asked. “Are- are you okay?”

“I, umm, I need- I need to go,” Sade said, hastily reaching for her bag.

“No, wait,” Ellie said, reaching out to grab her friend’s arm, only to freeze when Sade flinched away from her. “…Wait, please? I- I’m sorry, I- I dunno…”

“O- okay,” Sade said, sitting down and taking several deep breaths to calm herself. “So- so, umm, not- not ‘L’?”

“No,” Ellie whispered.

“So, umm…” Sade said hesitantly. “…’T’?” Sade smiled sympathetically as Ellie hesitantly nodded. “Well, I- I wouldn’t have guessed, really…”

“Thanks, heh,” Ellie quietly chuckled. “And yes, I know people can be ‘T’ and ‘L’, and I’ve got a few friends who are- and a sister who is as well, heh.”

“Really?” Sade asked. “Older or younger?”

“Two years younger,” Ellie replied. “Ironically, she’s part of why I’m so pissed off at my parents- they chucked me out when I came out, and treated her like a princess when she did.”

“Ugh,” Sade spat. “So are- are you on good terms with your sister?”

“Oh, definitely,” Ellie replied. “I mean, yes, sometimes I can’t help but be envious of her, and it- it’s so frustrating too, but- you know, big sister instinct, right?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’M the little sister,” Sade snorted, before sighing. “Ugh, sorry, didn’t mean it like that…”

“S’okay,” Ellie shrugged. “I know I’m kinda lucky, heh, I was just as close with ‘Jack’ as I am with ‘Jade’. Well, not THAT close, or I’d have spotted that she- well, was ‘like me’…”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Alicia was just as clueless about me,” Sade said with a derisive snort. “Second I turned 16 she kept trying to set me up with every boy in sight, wouldn’t accept any reason I gave for not liking them. Then I told her the REAL reason and it’s like I turned into a leper or something. Five seconds later she told my parents, and, well, here I am.”

“Ugh,” Ellie spat. “Me, well, I just told my parents straight up. Fancy boys, want to be a girl. Spent the next six months living on friends’ sofas until they got sick of me and kicked me out.”

“So who do you live with now?” Sade asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, I mean.”

“A, umm, a friend,” Ellie replied, blushing as she realised that the circumstances of her living with Janet would inevitably reveal her friendship with Stephanie. “She- she’s transgendered too, but older than me, like, over forty. Naturally my ‘parents’ immediately thought she was a paedo based just on that alone.”

“Ugh,” Sade spat. “How did you meet this friend, like, is there, you know, a ‘transgendered society’, a support group or something?”

“Umm, we met through a mutual friend,” Ellie said, nervously scratching her head. “Ste- Stephanie Abbott.” Ellie bit her lip and cringed as her new friend’s jaw dropped.

“Ste- Stephanie Abbott?” Sade asked. “As in THE Stephanie Abbott?”

“Yep,” Ellie mumbled. “She came and did a thing at my old music college, we got talking… Yeah.”

“Oh. My. God!” Sade squeaked. “That is so cool!”

“Yeah…” Ellie said, a smile spreading across her reddening face.

“Do you- do you know Jamie-Lee Burke too?” Sade asked.

“I’ve- I’ve met her,” Ellie replied, making Sade sigh sadly.

“You know,” Sade said, “if you have a boyfriend, he should be VERY thankful you’re straight, heh.”

“Umm, okay?” Ellie replied.

“I- I’ve got to admit something,” Sade sighed. “I- umm, when I saw you in the lecture hall, I- I kinda sat next to you ‘cause, umm, I kinda fancied you, like, a bit…”

“Oh, umm, thanks…” Ellie mumbled.

“God…” Sade sighed. “That- that was embarrassing, heh. And, like, ‘cause I saw you sign up to the LGBT society I assumed, well, yeah…”

“Yeah,” Ellie said quietly. “Sorry, umm, to disappoint…”

“Oh- I’m not disappointed,” Sade chuckled. “Wanted a girlfriend, got a best friend instead, that’s not THAT bad. Assuming, like, you’ll have me? Not- not as in ‘have’, but-“

“Sure,” Ellie said, making both girls giggle. “God… I’ve never, you know, had an actual ‘best’ best friend, you know?”

“Ugh, same here,” Sade chuckled. “I mean, yes, I had friends in Lowestoft, but none I could, like, talk to like I talk to you?”

“Yeah, I think I know what you mean,” Ellie chuckled as her new friend smiled.

“You signed up for any of the other societies, then?” Sade asked.

“Just the LGBT,” Ellie sighed. “Kinda- kinda not good in crowds, or with people I’m not familiar with, for, well, you know, ‘reasons’…”

“I get it,” Sade said softly. “Societies other than Jamie-Lee Burke’s Fellowship, anyway? Do you have the tattoo?”

“I’m- I’m not actually in the ‘Fellowship’,” Ellie replied. “Though I know most of the people who are, and it’s not like they make a big deal of it anyway, or it’s an exclusive club, you know?”

“I guess,” Sade mused. “Getting back to the topic of societies, I was really hoping to join the uni’s dance society. I’m sure you can appreciate a love of performing, being a musician, right?”

“Yeah,” Ellie replied with a grin. “Not much of a dancer myself, though.”

“Aww,” Sade said with a mock pout. “Was kinda hoping you could get me into Krystie Fullerton’s ballet school. I’ve put my name down on the waiting list for the adult class, but it’s really long, and a recommendation from a friend could speed it up…?”

“Yeah, but I’d have to be in the class first,” Ellie retorted. “And there is NO way ANYONE is EVER seeing me in a pair of pink tights and a leotard.”

“Pity,” Sade shrugged. “It’d look really cute on you, hehe!” Ellie and her new friend shared a long giggle, the first of many during the lunch period.

After lunch, the two girls went their separate ways, with Sade heading home while Ellie made her way to the south of the city to a library on another of the university’s campuses. Before they parted, however, both girls had added each other on all the social media platforms they were members of, as well as exchanging mobile phone numbers and promises to chat later that evening.

As she took the bus to the other campus, Ellie mused on how easily Sade had become not just a friend, but a close, potentially best friend, and all because Ellie had taken the risk of opening up to her. It didn’t escape Ellie’s notice, though, that Sade had been the one to make the first step, and only because she knew that Ellie was also LGBT. No one else had made any such ‘first steps’ to get to know Ellie, but the reverse was also true, and Ellie wondered just how many friends she could make if she didn’t keep everyone else at arm’s length. However, as Ellie reminded herself, people are less likely to be able to hurt you if they’re kept at arm’s length…

As Ellie left the library with an armful of books, though, she soon spotted a familiar face, sighing sadly as she saw him pass by a group of girls her age who immediately giggled as he walked past them.

"Ugh, Ian, even you?" Ellie sighed as she increased her pace to catch up to her friend and his two companions.

"...Shit like that," Ian in his distinctive Welsh accent. “The trick is to concentrate on the good things in your life. Like, for example, friends.”

"Speaking of," Ellie said with a nervous grin on her face as she approached the three boys.

"Oh, hey Ellie!" Ian said with a grin that eased Ellie's tension, especially as she leaned in to give the young man a gentle hug. “Guys, this is Ellie, a friend of mine, Ellie, this is Ben and this is Mac, they’re on my course.”

"Nice to meet you," Ben, the shorter of the two young men said as they both greeted Ellie with polite handshakes.

Ellie spent the next couple of minutes chatting with Ian and his friends, before leaving the campus feeling energised by the encounter. Ian had often complained to Ellie about he looked more feminine than Ellie did masculine, and whilst it was intended as a joke, Ellie always took it as a compliment but also felt sympathetic for her friend. Seeing the ease with which he had made his new friends, however, gave Ellie confidence that she would soon do the same. And if nothing else, she’d always be able to hang out with Ian himself at LGBT society meetings.

As she headed home, however, she was reminded of another aspect of the transman’s life, one that slowly eroded her confidence. Whilst she had only heard stories from Ian himself and from some of their other mutual friends, they were enough to convince Ellie that her relationship with her parents could have been much, much worse. Ian had severed all contact with his parents as a result of the abuse he had received as a child- as a girl- and held no regrets about that decision. However, unlike Ellie, Ian had no siblings, let alone transgendered siblings who relied on their help. Severing all contact with her parents simply wasn’t an option for Ellie when it also meant severing all contact with Jade. But at the same time, Ellie couldn’t look past the fact that they had no qualms about severing all contact with her at a moment’s notice- or the fact that they barely acknowledged her as their daughter even after resuming contact with her…

“Hey Ell,” Lindsay said, not looking up from her phone as her friend walked through the front door. “Good day at uni?”

“Umm, yeah, actually,” Ellie replied with a smile. “Better than yesterday at least, heh.”

“Cool,” Lindsay said. “Dane called round by the way, I told him you’d be in late.”

“Ooh, day just got even better than,” Ellie cooed, making Lindsay giggle and roll her eyes. “I’ll Facebook him after dinner. Pizza again?”

“Nah, dad’s getting a bit narky about the amount of junk food we’re eating, says he-“ Ellie bit her lip as Lindsay paused and grimaced. “SHE will cook when she gets home.”

“Still having trouble with the whole ‘he/she’ thing?” Ellie asked in a sympathetic voice.

“…No more than you must be with Jade,” Lindsay mumbled with a dismissive shrug. “Umm, even despite your, you know, ‘advantage’…”

“Meh, even I sometimes forget, believe it or not,” Ellie shrugged as she sat down opposite Lindsay. “My counsellor says I’m the only person she’s seen as both a client and a family member of a client, heh.”

“Heh,” Lindsay chuckled. “I- I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t find it weird, but- you know?”

“Meh, trust me, you could be worse,” Ellie sighed sadly as she thought once again of her parents.

Janet arrived home shortly afterward and, as promised, prepared a nourishing dinner for the two young women under her care. After dinner, Ellie headed straight up to her bedroom, where she booted up her laptop and logged into Facebook, smiling when she saw that her newest friend was also online.

‘Hey Sade!’ Ellie typed into a new chat window, following her message with a smiling emoji.

‘Hey Ellie!’ Sade almost immediately replied. ‘Great meeting you today!’

‘Same here,’ Ellie replied with another smiling emoji. ‘You back home now?’

‘Back at my flat, yeah,’ Sade replied. ‘Flat mates are heading out to a party in a bit, might tag along.’

‘Cool,’ Ellie replied.

‘Not as cool as going to a party at Charlotte Hutchinson’s house!’ Sade retorted with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji. ‘I saw the photos on your wall, that must be so awesome!’

‘It was,’ Ellie replied with a smug smile. ‘Hoping to get to a few more this year but don’t want to force it if you get what I mean.’

‘I think so,’ Sade replied. ‘I won’t keep bugging you for an invite, promise!’ Ellie giggled as Sade following up her message with another ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji.

‘I might keep bugging you for an invite to any parties you go to,’ Ellie retorted with the same emoji.

‘Lol,’ Sade replied with a smiling emoji. ‘It’d probably be a letdown after an Angel party though!’

‘Meh, fun’s fun wherever it is,’ Ellie replied.

‘That’s true,’ Sade replied. ‘Wanna come along tonight? Gonna be loud…’ And full of strangers, any of whom could be potential ‘Ethans’, Ellie thought to herself as she felt her body tense up.

‘Maybe next time,’ Ellie replied. ‘Got to be up early tomorrow, going with my sister to see her counsellor.’

‘Is that a gender identity thing?’ Sade asked.

‘Yep,’ Ellie replied.

‘I don’t get why you need to see a counsellor for shit like that,’ Sade typed. ‘I mean, you want to be a woman, why is it anyone else’s business.’

‘You are SO right,’ Ellie typed. ‘It’s my body, I get to decide. Maybe if it was a kid, I’d kinda understand that, but my sister’s sixteen, she can have as much sex as she wants, can get a job, but if she wants oestrogen? Must be a loony.’

‘Yep,’ Ellie typed. ‘So twisted how many people are just obsessed with everyone else’s genitals. Funny how they’re all old men making these decisions as well.’

‘Preach, sister!’ Sade typed with a ‘cheering’ emoji. ‘You may have guessed by now I’m a bit of a feminist lol.’

‘I had noticed,’ Ellie replied with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji. ‘Thank god you’re not a TERF though.’

‘I know a few people who’d object to that term,’ Sade typed. ‘But most of them would insist on using male pronouns on you, so fuck them.’

‘Yep!’ Ellie replied with a smiling emoji.

‘Not literally, though,’ Sade typed with a ‘winking’ emoji that made Ellie giggle loudly. ‘Anyway, got to go now, got a party to get ready for!’

‘Have fun!’ Ellie typed with a ‘waving’ emoji as Sade logged off. Before Ellie could catch her breath, however, her laptop pinged to notify her of a new message, the writer of which made Ellie giggle excitedly.

‘Hello again uni girl!’ Stephanie typed with a ‘grinning’ emoji. ‘How was day two? Better than day one, I hope?’

‘Yeah,’ Ellie replied. ‘Made a new friend today, a girl who seems pretty cool.’

‘Awesome news!’ Stephanie replied. ‘I hope she’s an Out of Heaven fan?’

‘Just as big a fan as me,’ Ellie typed with a ‘winking’ emoji.

‘I like her already!’ Stephanie typed. ‘You hanging out with her tonight then?’

‘Nah, at home,’ Ellie replied. ‘She’s at a student party with her flat mates.’

‘And you’re not?’ Stephanie asked with a ‘winking’ emoji.

‘She’d be the only there that I knew,’ Ellie replied, biting her lip as she felt her tension levels rose.

‘Ah, I understand now,’ Stephanie typed. ‘Sometimes forget what it’s like, going somewhere where nobody knows who or ‘what’ you are.’

‘Can imagine,’ Ellie typed.

‘Didn’t mean that as a boast,’ Stephanie typed. ‘Even I prefer the regular parties we have at Charlotte’s house or our place, it’s important for girls like us to have safe spaces like that.’

‘But you can’t spend your whole life in a safe space, right?’ Ellie asked.

‘There’s no point in subjecting yourself to unnecessary danger,’ Stephanie replied. ‘But then again, you only regret the things you DON’T do.’

‘I guess,’ Ellie typed. ‘I’m just sick of being afraid all the time.’

‘PTSD is a [s****y] thing to live with and that’s putting it mildly,’ Stephanie typed. ‘But I know you’re a smart and strong WOMAN. You’re capable of a lot more than you think. And you’re studying music, so I need you to graduate so we don’t have to put up with Stuart all the time!’ Ellie giggled loudly as her famous friend punctuated her message with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji.

‘No promises,’ Ellie replied with the same emoji. ‘Reckon I’d have competition for the job with Sade anyway, even if she is more of a performer.’

‘So we’d have competition with her too?’ Stephanie typed with a ‘winking’ emoji. ‘It’s cool. Though you mentioning she’s a performer reminds me of something I meant to do last night when we chatted. Going to open up a new window, brb.’

‘Okay,’ Ellie typed, waiting patiently for a few seconds before another chat window opened, which contained Stephanie and a name and face that Ellie recognised.

‘Hey girlies!’ Stephanie typed. ‘Don’t know if you too have ever met before, if not, Ellie, meet Laura, and Laura, meet Ellie!’

‘Hi!’ Laura typed with a ‘grinning’ emoji.

‘Hi!’ Ellie reciprocated with an emoji of her own.

‘Ellie’s just started studying music at uni and Laura’s just started drama at college, so you two should have something in common,’ Stephanie explained. ‘Besides the ‘obvious’ thing, anyway.’

‘Yeah,’ Ellie typed. ‘I think we might have met before?’

‘Probably at the coffee shop where I work,’ Laura types, making Ellie smile and nod with realisation.

‘No coincidence that’s the one owned by Heavenly talent?’ Ellie asked with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji that was met with a ‘blushing a giggling’ emoji from Laura.

‘The fellowship looks after each other,’ Stephanie interjected with a ‘winking’ emoji. ‘Especially our little sisters!’

‘Little sister who’s taller than you?’ Laura asked with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji that made Ellie giggle. ‘Even if that isn’t always a good thing…’

‘Yeah, Janet’s said the same thing a lot,’ Ellie typed. ‘Kinda lucky I’m only 5' 7", I don’t get sussed as much. If you know what I mean by ‘sussed’.’

‘Think we all know,’ Laura typed. ‘You had much grief at uni, Ellie?’

‘Not really,’ Ellie replied after a moment’s consideration. ‘Not made many new friends either.’

‘I guess I was lucky cos I went to college with a friend,’ Laura typed. ‘So I at least knew one person. Still got grief from some of the other girls though.’

‘Ugh,’ Stephanie typed. ‘Though this isn’t a competition, I hope you two would have any advice for each other?’

‘Sure, I don’t mind chatting whenever I’m needed,’ Ellie typed. ‘Gonna be busy a lot with uni work, though.’

‘Ditto for both things,’ Laura typed. ‘College instead of uni. And dance society lol.’

‘Krystie and Zoe will be happy you’re dancing somewhere at least!’ Stephanie typed with a ‘winking’ emoji. ‘Still can’t believe you didn’t get into Elite class.’

‘Didn’t apply!’ Laura replied. ‘Want to be an actress, not a professional dancer.’

‘Kinda losing me here,’ Ellie typed, earning ‘blushing’ emojis from her two friends.

‘Krystie= Krystie Fullerton, Angel and dance teacher,’ Stephanie explained. ‘Zoe= the other teacher at the school. Elite class= training to become professional ballerinas.’

‘Is this at the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance?’ Ellie asked.

‘Yep!’ Stephanie replied. ‘Thought you hadn’t signed up for it?’

‘I didn’t but a friend at uni has,’ Ellie typed. ‘Is on the waiting list for the adult class.’

‘Ah, cool!’ Laura typed with a ‘grinning’ emoji. ‘Wanted to do that myself but- obviously- didn’t want to go there alone if there wasn’t anyone I knew there too.’

‘Hint hint,’ Stephanie typed with a ‘winking’ emoji, which Ellie replied to with an ‘eye rolling’ emoji. ‘Oh come on, we can’t persuade you to pull on a pair of tights and a leotard?’

‘I don’t need any persuading to do THAT and you know it,’ Ellie replied with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji. ‘Actually getting up and dancing in it is where I draw the line.’

‘You know who to call if you change your mind,’ Stephanie typed with another ‘winking’ emoji. ‘I’ll leave you two to it, anyway, heading out to my brother's in a bit. And by 'brother' I of course mean 'niece' lol!’

‘Bye!’ Ellie typed simultaneously with Laura as their famous friend left the chatroom.

Ellie and Laura spent the next hour chatting about their lives, their respective transitions, their friends, families and boyfriends and virtually every other topic in their lives, with two notable exceptions- Ellie remained silent on the topic of her assault, just as Laura said nothing about her kidnapping from four years earlier, a topic Ellie knew about but deliberately avoided out of respect for her new friend. As Ellie went to bed, she mused on how she’d made yet another friend who she could talk with as easily as anyone else, but how, once again, Laura was another person she wouldn’t be able to rely on at university…

The following morning, Ellie was woken up by the sound of Janet and Lindsay leaving the house, making her smirk as for once, she was alone in the house, but even though she had no university obligations, she couldn't afford the luxury of a lie-in. Sure enough, 45 minutes later, dressed in her usual tight turtleneck top, pleated miniskirt and translucent tights, Ellie left the house and began the lengthy trip into the city centre toward her and Jade's counsellors' office.

As she walked along the street, Ellie felt a simultaneous sense of anxiety and anticipation. She was looking forward to spending time with Jade, even if it was in the context of a counselling session, but she was also apprehensive about who else would be at the meeting- and her anxiety only increased when she saw her parents’ car parked outside the office. The eighteen-year-old girl took a deep breath as she entered the building and walked up the flight of stairs to the small office, where she froze when she saw her sister sat alongside their mother in the small waiting room.

“Hi Ellie!” Jade said with a wide grin as her sister approached. “Thanks for coming along today.”

“Ah, like I wouldn’t?” Ellie replied with a forced smile as she sat down next to Jade, on the opposite side of the girl to their mother. “Thank YOU for inviting me again, hehe!”

“Well, Dr Williamson said she wanted to see both of us,” Jade explained. “Especially with, you know, college starting, and uni for you…”

“Yeah,” Ellie chuckled, glancing stealthily at their mother to see if she had anything to contribute to the conversation, and frowning when she didn’t. “Anyway…”

“Yeah…” Jade said, fidgeting in her seat as she sensed the tension between Ellie and their mother. “Anyway, umm, you got anything planned for today?”

“Meeting my own counsellor,” Ellie chuckled. “So not got far to walk after this, heh.”

“Yeah,” Jade laughed awkwardly. “I’ve, umm, got to get to college in the afternoon, lucky I arranged it so my free period’s the same day as your free day, heh.”

“Yep,” Ellie said. “Getting busy at college? I mean, are they dumping loads of homework on you?”

“Yeah, though probably not as much as you!” Jade said, sharing an awkward giggle with her sister before her counsellor emerged and called the fractured family through to her office.

“Good morning,” the counsellor said with a warm smile. “I’d like to start by thanking you all for coming today, with family appointments such as this one can be hard to arrange a time when everyone’s available.”

“Happy to be here,” Ellie and Jade’s mother replied, inadvertently making her oldest daughter’s blood boil.

Ellie tried to put her anger to the side as the counselling session began and the focus of the room shifted to Jade, the progress she’d made with her transition and, most importantly, Jade’s ongoing relationship with her family. Ellie felt a sense of pride fill her as Jade’s counsellor praised the assistance she’d given to her younger sister over the months, though every time she was being praised, Ellie couldn’t help but notice a distant, almost disinterested look on her face. Conversely, whenever their mother spoke, Ellie felt herself tense up, inferring from her mother's words that she felt she was solely responsible for Jade's progress.

Eventually, the session came to an end, though as the three women rose from their chairs, the counsellor had one last piece of advice.

“Ellie,” Dr Williamson said cautiously. “It’s your appointment today as well, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, in about fifteen minutes,” Ellie replied. “Why, exactly?”

“I think,” Dr Williamson said, pausing as she carefully considered her words, “it would be good if you were to go to the meeting with her, Sharon.”

“Well I- I have to get Jade home,” Ellie’s mother hastily retorted.

“I can get to college myself,” Jade shrugged. “Not like I haven’t taken the tube by myself before.”

“Well- umm…” Sharon mumbled.

“Ugh, if you don’t want to come, just say so,” Ellie snapped, startling the other three women in the room. “You’ve made it very clear you stopped caring a long time ago, why pretend otherwise?”

“Ellie, come on,” Jade whispered to her sister. “Things were going so well…”

“I never, EVER stopped caring about you,” Sharon hissed in reply as Jade’s counsellor hastily typed something into her computer and stepped between the two angry women.

“Sharon, Ellie,” Dr Williamson said in a soft voice. “This isn’t helping anyone. It isn’t helping either of you and it especially isn’t helping Jade.”

“…Okay,” Ellie mumbled, her cheeks burning with shame as she glanced at her sister, who was barely holding back tears.

“The two of you clearly need to talk,” Dr Williamson said. “The appointment next is the perfect time for it.” Sharon and Ellie both hesitated, filling the room with an awkward silence.

“…Please?” Jade asked in a small, almost frightened voice that deepened Ellie’s sense of shame.

“…Okay,” Sharon said, pointedly not looking as Ellie as the family were escorted back out to the office’s waiting area, where they were soon joined by Ellie’s counsellor.

“Good morning,” Ellie’s counsellor said in a voice that didn’t disguise her concern. “Ellie, good to see you again, you must be Sharon, Ellie’s mother, right?”

“Y- yes,” Sharon replied as she exchanged an uneasy handshake with the counsellor.

"I'm Dr Helen Richmond, Ellie's gender identity counsellor," the counsellor said softly. "It's nice to finally meet you. Please, if you wouldn't mind following me to my office?" Dr Richmond smiled as the two women nodded and rose from their seats.

“Dr Williamson emailed me a few minutes ago to explain that the two of you had had a falling out in her office,” Dr Richmond said softly. “Ellie, you’ve told me that recently, your relationship with your parents had been improving?” Ellie fidgeted in her chair under the gaze of the other woman as she struggled to answer her question.

“A bit,” Ellie mumbled. “Though it was, you know, really bad to start with so that’s not saying much…”

“I see,” Dr Richmond said. “Though the fact is, you ARE speaking, and that is an improvement. If I may ask, what triggered today’s disagreement? I want each of you to answer one at a time, and it’s important that you let the other person speak fully, without interrupting them. Ellie, you go first.”

“…I dunno,” Ellie mumbled with a shrug.

“You accused me of not caring about you,” Sharon angrily reminded her daughter. “Which, I might add, is completely untrue.”

“Yeah, I can tell by how interested you are in my life,” Ellie snorted angrily.

“Ellie,” Dr Richmond said sternly, silencing the young woman. “Obviously, there’s still a lot of resentment here, on both sides. Perhaps you’ve been trying to take things too fast, too soon. I did caution you not to get your hopes up too much when you re-established contact with your parents.”

“I guess,” Ellie shrugged.

“Sharon, I can tell from what you said that you’re frustrated as well,” Dr Richmond said calmly. “You said that you care about Ellie, and I can tell just by looking at you that you’re sincere in what you say. But from Ellie’s perspective, you went from spending sixteen years raising her to having no contact whatsoever. To a young person like Ellie, that can be devastating.”

“Actions speak louder than words,” Ellie snorted, before withering again under a gaze from her counsellor.

“…Ellie does have a point, though,” Dr Richmond conceded.

"Ellie- umm, even Liam was always, umm, rebellious," Sharon said quietly. "As a boy- as a younger kid. When he- she came out, it was- it was almost like she was confronting us, challenging us to react and kick her out."

"Ellie?" Dr Richmond asked, smiling politely as the young woman shrugged.

"Maybe," Ellie conceded. "But that's only 'cause I know dad was so homophobic. I knew if I asked, the answer would've been 'no'."

"You don't know that for sure," Sharon retorted.

"So are you saying the answer would've been 'yes' if I'd asked?" Ellie asked, frowning as her mother remained silent. "Thought not."

"We'd have had a lot to talk about," Sharon said. "You completely shut me and your father out of the process."

"Yeah," Ellie said. "Because it's not your life for you to make decisions about."

"And that's the problem," Sharon said with a loud sigh. "Ellie doesn't think of me as her mother anymore."

"That's- that's not true," Ellie mumbled, her reddening cheeks betraying her untruthfulness.

"Really?" Sharon asked. "When you're talking about me with Jade, I know you call me 'Sharon' and your father 'David'. And when you have a problem, you go straight to that- that, umm, other woman you live with."

"'That other woman'?" Ellie snorted. "Go on, say what you were going to say originally."

"I'd rather not," Sharon said firmly. "Have- have you ever called Janet 'mum'?" Ellie felt her cheeks redden and tears form in her eyes as she prepared to answer, as she knew the truth would break her mother's heart.

"...Once or twice," Ellie mumbled, frowning and closing her eyes as Sharon let out a pained sigh.

"Does- does that make you feel jealous, Sharon?" Dr Richmond asked.

"How can it not?" Sharon replied. "Being rejected by your own flesh and blood?"

"Now you know what it's felt like for the past two years," Ellie said, trying her hardest to remain stoic as a solitary tear flowed from her mother's eye.

"But what we need to agree on today," Dr Richmond said, "is that things start to improve from here on out. You both need to agree to stop this vicious cycle of rejection and agree to make time for each other in your lives."

"...Okay," Ellie mumbled.

"...Agreed," Sharon said.

"This won't happen overnight, and I think that's part of the problems you've been having, Ellie," Dr Richmond explained. "You both need to accept that things might never be the same again, but that doesn't mean you can't be family again. As long as you both agree to work toward not just repairing the old relationship, but forging a new one. Sharon, you're far from the first parent I've spoken to whose son has become their daughter. I admit, you are the first I personally have worked with who has had both sons become daughters. But that doesn't make your situation impossible."

"I understand," Sharon said stoically.

"It's good that you both got what you wanted to say out in the open," Dr Richmond said. "Now, I want you to both give each other a piece of good news. Something you think each other would enjoy hearing."

"...We've been looking for jobs for Jade," Sharon said. "Just part-time, Saturday jobs to get her a little extra pocket money. Might have found one in, umm, in Boots, just as a cashier."

"Ellie?" Dr Richmond asked.

"...I started university on Monday," Ellie mumbled. "Made a couple of new friends..."

"That's good," Dr Richmond said. "Sharon, would you like to hear more about Ellie's university?"

"Yes," Sharon said, making Ellie genuinely smile for the first time in a very, very long time. "Yes, I would."

Ellie didn't need to be asked twice, and immediately began telling her mother about her university, about her course, about Sally and Sade and even about Laura. At the end of the session, both Ellie and Sharon felt like a great weight had been lifted from their shoulders, that for the first time since Ellie came out, they were truly able to connect as parent and child. As they left the office together, the two women shared a hug that almost brought Ellie to tears. What pushed Ellie over the edge, though, were the two words her mother said to her next.

"I'm sorry," Sharon whispered into her daughter's ear.

Ellie remained in a positive mood for the rest of the day, and eagerly shared her good news with both Lindsay and Janet upon their respective returns from college and work. All three women celebrated that night with a Chinese takeaway and a chick flick on Netflix, though halfway through the film, Janet snuck away to make a phone call. Maybe, she thought to herself as she took her phone out of her bag. Just maybe...

"Hello?" The masculine voice on the other end of the phone answered.

"Hi Ethan," Janet said, her voice quivering with nerves. However, her hopes were to be dashed immediately afterward when the line disconnected, and she knew better than to try to call back. For all Ellie's recent success, Janet had to resign herself to the fact that her family was still as fractured as ever...

“Well- okay, if you’re sure,” Janet said into the telephone. “If you need anyone to talk to, the offer still stands, as believe me, I have some experience with this sort of thing.”

“Thank you, Janet,” the ebullient voice of Joshua Benedict replied. “I shall see you back at work in the new year, and I hope you and your family have a very merry Christmas!”

“You too,” Janet said, smiling as she ended the call before sighing as she turned her attention back to the living room.

Even though there were only three days left until Christmas, it was still a Saturday morning, which meant that Ellie and Lindsay had rooted themselves to the sofa, coffee in one hand and their phones in the other. The two girls would soon be heading out to their part-time weekend jobs, but for the time being were content to stay in the warmth of the living room. Janet couldn't help but notice that the two girls fixed themselves to the exact same spots on the sofa they did every morning, and were even sitting at the same angle relative to each other. Janet had no doubt in her mind that Lindsay and Ellie were sisters in all but blood- just as she was Ellie's mother in all but blood.

“Are you two planning on going to work in your pyjamas, then?” Janet asked, smirking as the two teenagers snorted derisively and shook their heads.

“We’ll get dressed in a bit,” Lindsay moaned. “It’s cold…”

“And I suppose I’m making your breakfasts as well, am I?” Janet asked, smirking again as the two girls rolled their eyes. “It’s okay, I know you two have worked hard, especially in the term just gone. You’ve definitely earned this holiday.” And not just because of college and university, Janet thought to herself with a sad smile.

The upcoming festive period would bring with it several firsts for all the women in the house. It would be Ellie’s third Christmas as a female, but her first as an adult woman. It would be everyone’s first Christmas in their new house, and Janet’s first in her new job. But what weighed on Janet’s mind the most was that it would be Lindsay’s first Christmas away from her mother and her brother, and even though the 17 year old girl was, on the surface at least, almost stereotypically blasé about the situation, Janet knew that deep down, she was undoubtedly in a lot of pain.

The one source of consolation for Janet was that in Ellie, Lindsay had a sympathetic ear, someone who knew what it was like to be estranged from their family home. Janet felt sorry for Ellie that this was still the case for her, but she was quickly reminded of another ‘first’, albeit for a woman not present in the living room- it was going to be Jade’s first ever Christmas as a woman, and unlike Ellie, she would be celebrating it at home with her family.

To Janet’s relief, the jealousy that Ellie had felt toward her sister had steadily dwindled over the prior few months, ever since Jade had started at her further education college; but Janet had witnessed first-hand how depressed Ellie had been over the prior two Christmases, and she found herself mentally preparing for the worst case scenario…

“Bye Janet,” Ellie said nonchalantly as she grabbed her handbag and left the house, closely followed by her younger friend.

“Bye dad,” Lindsay said, only looking back when her parent spoke.

“Seriously?” Janet asked. “You’re wearing THAT to work?”

“Seriously?” Lindsay replied. “You’re wearing THAT to sit around the house?” Janet simply smirked as her daughter gestured to her long t-shirt and leggings, before sighing and tugging down the hem of her own short black skirt.

“See you later,” Janet said to her red-faced daughter as she left the house, leaving Janet to muse once again on how the influence of two genetically male people like herself and Ellie had caused a former tomboy like Lindsay to embrace the world of femininity.

Janet smiled as she thought back to Halloween, and how the two girls had spent hours in the weeks beforehand designing their costumes. Ellie and Lindsay had both gone to their Halloween party dressed as black cats, wearing sheer black tights, skimpy black leotards, high-heeled shoes, long black fake nails and extra-thick make-up. Janet had been aghast when she saw the two girls dressed for the first time, but secretly, she was as excited for the girls as they themselves were- even if she was envious that she'd never been able to wear such a costume when she was younger. What Janet most loved about the costumes, though, was that Ellie and Lindsay had worked on them together. Janet had always regretted that Lindsay hadn’t had a sister growing up- both she and her ex-wife had been closer to their son than they were to their daughter- and seeing Ellie and Lindsay grow closer filled Janet’s heart with happiness. It also made her feel sad, though, as she knew that the 'sisterhood' would eventually have to come to an end- Lindsay and Ellie would each eventually find their own way in life, and would inevitably grow apart from each other. Janet just hoped that that would happen later rather than sooner...

After eating a quick breakfast of her own, Janet sat down on the vacated sofa to watch television, but like her young charges, she found her attention was quickly drawn to her phone- especially when it pinged to inform her of a new message.

‘Hey you two!’ Shannon sent to both Janet and Meredith. ‘I missed having a night out yesterday, do you fancy meeting up for a quick pre-Christmas lunch?’ So much for leggings and a t-shirt all day, Janet thought to herself with a smirk as she typed her response.

‘Sounds great!’ Janet typed. ‘Usual pub at 12-ish?’

‘That works for me!’ Meredith typed as Janet’s smile widened- she might have been older than Ellie or Lindsay, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun with her friends if she wanted to. And as far as Janet was concerned, it had been far too long since she’d last hung out with her two friends- the first friends that ‘Janet’ had made.

Shortly before noon Janet strode into her regular pub, her leggings and t-shirt having been replaced by a warm sweater, an A-line skirt and thick black tights. A wide grin spread across Janet’s immaculately made-up face when she saw her two friends sitting at their regular table with a glass of white wine ready and waiting for her.

“Hi Janet!” Shannon said with a wide grin. “Love that skirt!”

“Thanks!” The middle-aged woman replied as she turned to show her friends the delicate pattern on the knee-length garment. “Saw it on an online store and thought, well, early Christmas present from me to me, heh!”

“You’ll have to tell me which store,” Meredith said. “I’ve been looking for a skirt like that for ages, and, well, it’s not like anyone else is going to buy it for me, so I may as well- well, you know…”

“You should’ve told me, I could’ve put one in one of these,” Janet said, gesturing to the small bag of gifts and cards she’d brought with her.

“Oh- you really didn’t need to get us anything, honestly,” Shannon said as Janet handed her a small box covered in shiny wrapping paper.

“I really, really did,” Janet retorted. “I’m making a lot more money than I was this time last year, enough that I can spend £25 on a skirt almost on a whim, and- well, you two made the start of my transition a lot easier than it otherwise would’ve been. This really is the least I can do to thank you.”

“Well- thanks,” Meredith said with an emotional smile, before handing Janet a small Christmas card. “I mean, well, THIS is literally the very least I could’ve done, next year I’ll remember to get you something a bit, you know, more…”

“The card is perfect, thanks,” Janet said. “Shannon, I kinda got you and Jason a joint gift, if that’s okay?”

“Yep, that’s absolutely fine!” Shannon giggled. “Though this time next year… You may need to put three names on the card, hehe!”

"Wh- really?" Janet asked, squeaking with excitement as Shannon nodded. "Oh my god, congratulations!"

"Thanks!" Shannon giggled as she exchanged a gentle hug with her older friend.

"I found out a couple of days ago," Meredith said. "And I've spent the entire time reminding Shannon that she said there was absolutely no chance of her having kids until a long time after she was married, and- well, I'll let her explain."

"...It just kinda happened, really," Shannon shrugged. "Must've been a faulty condom or something, I dunno, but I took a test and- well, here we are, heh."

“When is the little one due?” Janet cooed.

“Mid-July,” Shannon replied. “Won’t find out the exact due date until next month.”

“And you’re just a kid yourself!” Janet sighed happily.

“What, 29 is ‘just a kid’?” Shannon retorted, making Janet giggle and roll her eyes.

“It’s still younger than I am,” Janet said.

“Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” Meredith asked, before her eyes went wide with shock at her question. “Oh- umm, not that I mean one gender is better than the other, or that gender is important, or-“

“Relax, Meredith!” Janet calmed her friend. “It’s not an unreasonable question, I was thinking it myself!”

“…We’ve not really got a preference,” Shannon said in a quiet, timid voice. “Boy or girl, we’ll be happy.”

“We were the same way before our first,” Janet said, before feeling her eyes start to well up as she remembered that she hadn’t had any contact with her firstborn child in months- and even then, said contact was watching him be sentenced for his assault on Ellie.

“Janet?” Meredith asked. “Are you okay?”

“Uh- yeah, I’m fine, honestly,” Janet said, taking a deep breath to calm herself. “It’s just this talk of, you know, firstborn children…”

“Your son,” Shannon whispered, grimacing as Janet nodded. “It’s okay. We can change the subject, I mean, I have another seven months-“

“No, no, it’s okay, I don’t mind,” Janet said. “We SHOULD be celebrating! With lemonade for you, obviously!”

“Way ahead of you!” Shannon giggled as she held up her non-alcoholic drink. “But anyway, I want to change the topic, as I want to know what’s everyone doing for Christmas?”

“Spending it with my sister, her partner and their kids,” Meredith replied. “I mean, with you two talking about kids, but I never wanted them- and now that I’m almost forty, it’s not like I’m going to get the chance, but with my nephew and niece at least, you know, I get to enjoy Christmas with someone’s kids, and- well, yeah.”

“Christmas is infinitely more fun when the kids are younger, believe me!” Janet giggled. “I’ll be lucky if Ellie or Lindsay are awake before noon on Christmas Day.”

“Are the three of you spending Christmas by yourselves, then?” Shannon asked.

“Looks that way,” Janet sighed. “I don’t mind. It’s better to spend Christmas with the people you really love than with the people who make you tear your hair out, heh! Ellie will get to see her sister plenty over the Christmas period though, and I think they’re going to a birthday party for one of Ellie’s uni friends between Christmas and New Year, too.”

“Ah, that’ll be cool,” Shannon said with a happy giggle.

“I kinda wish that Ellie and Jade could spend Christmas Day together,” Janet mused. “Though that’s not going to happen any time soon…” Janet felt a pang of guilt as she remembered that Ellie wasn't the only girl living with her who would be separated from her family- especially her sibling- over Christmas...

Despite her best efforts, Ellie let out a long sigh as the clock ticked over to 5pm, signifying the end of her working day.

“Yeah, I think you’ve earned that,” Chris- Ellie's supervisor- said as he locked the front door of the shop. “Last Saturday before Christmas is always mental.”

“You going out anywhere tonight?” Penny, one of Ellie’s colleagues, asked. “I mean, you finished uni yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but I’m staying in tonight, I think,” Ellie replied. “Not really in the mood for a night out, I’m, umm, too tired…” Ellie bit her lip as she prayed that her friend wouldn’t realise that she was lying. Any other weekend, Ellie would’ve loved a night out with her friends, but on that particular weekend, Ellie would’ve been far too distracted to properly enjoy it.

During Christmas 2016 and Christmas 2017, Ellie had been miserable. Sure, Janet had gone out of her way to make sure that Ellie had a Christmas that was at least enjoyable, and while Ellie appreciated the effort, it didn’t change the fact that she’d spent two Christmases isolated from her family in a tiny flat. While her living arrangements had changed, meaning that she’d spend Christmas 2018 in a comfortable house rather than a shoebox, and she’d have Lindsay to spend Christmas with as well as Janet, Ellie would still have little to no contact with her parents over Christmas- and wouldn’t be able to celebrate her sister’s first Christmas as a girl with her either.

“Meh, guess everyone’s already gone home for Christmas from uni, anyway,” Penny said.

“Something like that,” Ellie shrugged.

“You doing anything special for Christmas this year?” Penny asked, making Ellie pause and try to hide her grimace.

“…Nothing special, no,” Ellie replied. “You?”

“Yeah, just going to my grandparents’ in Herefordshire,” Penny gushed. “My granddad was 80 this year, so we’re spending Christmas with him, the whole family, my aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone.”

“Cool,” Ellie replied, even as she felt her jealousy boil up inside her.

“Yeah,” Penny giggled. “My grandparents have got a HUGE house, used to love it there when I was a kid, heh.” Ellie bit her lip to keep herself from scowling as her colleague continued to (from Ellie’s perspective) brag.

“Yeah,” Ellie said. “I, um, need to catch my bus…”

“Well- okay,” Penny shrugged. “See you after Christmas!”

“Yeah, see you,” Ellie said with forced enthusiasm as she walked out of the shop and toward the nearby bus stop. Ellie wore a scowl on her face as she waited for her ride home, though her smile returned when she saw a familiar face walking toward her.

“Hey Ell!” Lindsay said with a grin as she greeted her housemate with a gentle hug. “Good day at work?”

“Ugh, if by ‘good’ you mean ‘knackering’,” Ellie replied, before shaking her head. “M eh, I dunno. Christmas has just got me feeling… I dunno.”

“Ugh, I know how you feel,” Lindsay snorted. Really? Ellie thought to herself. Do you really know how I feel?

“Right,” Ellie said nonchalantly.

“I mean, this’ll be my first Christmas where I don’t see my mum OR my brother,” Lindsay sighed, and Ellie immediately felt her insides begin to knot as she realised that Lindsay knew EXACTLY how she felt. Ellie had been so preoccupied with her own problems that she hadn’t even considered that Lindsay- one of her closest friends- might have been in as much pain as she was.

“…I’m sorry,” Ellie mumbled, her cheeks quickly reddening in the cold December air.

“What are YOU sorry for?” Lindsay snorted. “I mean, despite what my mum thinks, it’s not your fault Ethan- well, you know.”

“Yeah,” Ellie whispered.

“I still sometimes think Ethan was pissed off that I wasn’t a little brother for him,” Lindsay snorted. “Meh, his problem if he wants to be a misogynist prick.”

“Yeah,” Ellie said with a snort.

“It’s still going to be weird waking up on Christmas morning and him not being there, though,” Lindsay mumbled, once again causing Ellie’s insides to churn.

“Would- would you rather be living with your mum and your brother than your- than with Janet?” Ellie asked hesitantly.

“…I’d rather be living with mum AND dad,” Lindsay sighed. “But- but I know that isn’t an option, not anymore. Ugh, I dunno. I’m- I’m just really not looking forward to Christmas, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Ellie sighed. “Still, at least we don’t have to be miserable alone, right?”

“Yeah,” Lindsay chuckled tiredly as she and Ellie boarded their bus home.

The two girls arrived home a short while later, and after a quick dinner, went straight back to their preferred spots on the sofa, much to Janet’s amusement.

“Good day at work, then?” Janet asked, receiving non-committal grunts in reply. “I’ll take that as a ‘maybe’, then…”

“Ha ha,” Lindsay snorted derisively. “And if you must know, it was a REALLY long day.”

“Last Saturday before Christmas, it was bound to be,” Janet said. “Still , you’ve both got tomorrow and Monday free, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ellie shrugged. “Is it still okay if Jade and the others come over tomorrow?”

“Yeah, you know it is,” Janet replied with a warm smile. “Seems like ages since you last saw Monique and Kacey, are they both doing okay?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ellie replied with a nonchalant shrug.

“…Well, as riveting as the conversation is, I’ll leave you two to it,” Janet said, smirking as the two teenagers both sighed and rolled their eyes. “I’m going to take a bath, so if you need the loo, use the downstairs, okay?”

“Eww,” Lindsay and Ellie both simultaneously replied, making Janet giggle as she headed upstairs to the bathroom.

As she relaxed in the warm, sweet-scented water, Janet found herself once again worrying about the two girls. When she was younger, Lindsay had always loved Christmas, and ‘John’ had always made sure to make the festive season as special as possible. Even as recently as the last Christmas Janet had spent with Lindsay, when the girl was 14, she had insisted on helping with everything Christmas-related. She'd helped to decorate the tree, gone shopping with both of her parents, and even helped bake Christmas cookies. On Christmas morning, she was awake at 5am and eager to start unwrapping presents. Three years on, however, Janet couldn't imagine Lindsay getting out of bed before 11am unless it was absolutely necessary. Lindsay hadn't helped Janet decorate the tree or the rest of the house, she hadn't done any Christmas shopping beyond buying gifts, and even those were mostly bought online, and the only contribution Lindsay had made to the Christmas food was to eat it.

Janet tried to convince herself that the change in Lindsay’s behaviour was just her being a stereotypical teenager, that she was always going to lose interest in childish things like Christmas, but Janet couldn’t shake the thought that if she was still living with her mother, Lindsay would be having a happier festive season- and Janet especially couldn’t shake the thought that she was to blame…

Despite having the following day free, the three women all opted for an early night, with Janet being the first to turn in. However, her worry for her two girls meant that as hard as she tried, Janet just couldn't drift off to sleep.

The following morning, Janet got out of bed before dawn and was unsurprised to find that she was the first one up in the house. Janet smirked as she put on the kettle and made herself a cup of strong coffee, knowing that the smell would eventually draw the two teenagers out of their beds. Sure enough, minutes later, Lindsay and Ellie entered the kitchen wearing their warm dressing gowns, each grabbing a mug of hot coffee before flopping down on the sofa in the exact same spots where they'd sat the previous day.

“Morning, girls!” Janet said with forced enthusiasm that quickly faded as she remembered the previous day’s discussions. “What time are the others getting here?”

“I dunno, probably around 10-ish,” Ellie replied, not diverting her attention from her phone.

“Okay…” Janet said. “Have you done a secret Santa again this year?”

“Mm,” Lindsay mumbled affirmatively. “Just for us girls, though, we were going into our boyfriends, but, well- yeah.” Janet nodded and smiled sympathetically as Ellie frowned- it had been a few weeks since Ellie had split up with Dane; and while Janet knew that Ellie was the one who dumped him, rather than the other way round, she still worried about the effect the separation was having on the young girl.

“Well, that’ll still be plenty to go around, right?” Janet asked. "Eight of you?”

“Yeah,” Ellie shrugged.

“…So, anyway, I’ll be in the kitchen most of the time your friends are here,” Janet said. “And just so we’re clear, that’s because I’ll be staying out of your way, NOT because I’m going to be waiting on you hand and foot.”

“Yes dad, we know,” Lindsay sighed, making Janet smirk and shake her head as she switched on the television and sat down in her own preferred chair.

Ellie and Lindsay’s friends began arriving a short while later, and as she had promised, Janet retreated to the kitchen to watch television in there. It wasn’t long, however, before the noise coming from the living room threatened to drown out Janet’s TV- though under the circumstances, she didn’t mind one bit. The louder the girls were, the happier they were, and the happier they were, the more contented Janet felt.

“Aww, I’m still SO jealous!” Monique gushed as Ellie finished telling her friends about her first semester of university. "I mean, Nottingham's great and all, but I so wish I'd got into a London uni."

“Me too,” Kacey sighed. “I mean, I’m not gay, but those LGBT parties sound AMAZING.”

"They are, believe me!" Sade said with a proud giggle.

“And we can bring along friends if you want to come to one in the new year,” Ellie shrugged. “Friends who are over 18 only, I’m afraid.”

“D’aww,” Keira pouted, before giggling. “Ah, can’t wait to go to uni next year, living away from, umm, home…” Keira bit her lip and grimaced as she briefly met Ellie’s gaze, before looking away.

“…What?” Ellie shrugged. “Just ‘cause I’m not living away from home…”

“Umm…” Jade said hesitantly.

“THIS is my home,” Ellie said defiantly. “Jade, I- ugh. Now- now isn’t the time, can we talk about this later?”

“Umm, okay,” Jade said, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“Anyway,” Lindsay said, trying to spare her friend’s blushes, “how are we gonna do the presents, then? I mean, if we all give everyone the presents we got them, it’s not gonna be a ‘secret’ Santa, if you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Monique said as a smile spread across Ellie’s face.

“Janet!” Ellie suddenly shouted, startling a couple of her friends.

“You bellowed?” Janet asked as she emerged from the kitchen, earning eye rolls from both of the young women under her care.

“Can you be Santa for us?” Ellie asked bluntly. “We need to give out our Secret Santa presents, we can’t do that without revealing who got who and-“

“Sure, I don’t mind,” Janet said, heading back into the kitchen and returning a short while later with a large carrier bag. “Stick your presents in here, I’ll give them all out. Heh, reminds me of ten years ago, when I used to dress up as Santa, remember that, Lindsay?”

“Dad…” Lindsay hissed, her cheeks quickly reddening.

“One year Lindsay even came down and caught me, and she-“ Janet said, before biting her lip as she saw a look of not just embarrassment, but anger in her daughter’s eyes. Janet suddenly remembered that while many teenagers’ fathers would tease their children about having dressed up as Santa in the past, few would tell them while wearing a knee-length sweater dress and opaque tights. “Umm… I’ll just take the presents and hand them out.”

“Good idea,” Lindsay growled as Janet sat down in her usual chair and handed out the gifts to the seven girls, before quickly currying back to the kitchen. “Ugh, SO sorry about that…”

“Nah, you know we like your dad, right?” Monique reassured her friend. “God knows my dad would be WAY more embarrassing.”

“Yeah, but he-“ Lindsay said, before meeting Ellie’s gaze and closing her mouth. “Umm, never mind…”

“No, go on,” Ellie said. “You were going to say, ‘but he wouldn’t be wearing a dress’, weren’t you?”

“No,” Lindsay mumbled, before sighing. “Maybe…”

“Anyway, we should, umm, we should start opening-“ Jade said feebly.

“It’s okay if you were,” Ellie interrupted her sister. “I was thinking the same thing. Difference is I don’t see your dad as a man.”

“Neither do I,” Lindsay said defiantly. “Not anymore.”

“Good,” Ellie said with a smile. “’Cause your dad’s more like a mum to me than my mum ever was.” Ellie either didn’t see or chose to ignore the look of sadness on her sister’s face as she and the other young women began opening their presents, which brought the excitement levels in the room back to where they previously were.

The rest of the afternoon was spent comparing each other's presents, trying (usually in vain) to guess who had been everybody's 'Secret Santa' and deliberately avoiding the topic of Ellie, Lindsay and Jade's living arrangements.

Eventually, everyone departed, until just those three girls were left in the living room, and when Jade excused herself to use the toilet, Lindsay turned to her housemate with a look of guilt on her face.

“Ellie, I- I am so, SO sorry about what I said earlier,” Lindsay said, trying her hardest to blink back tears. “I- it’s important that you know I am absolutely NOT embarrassed to have a transgendered dad, I mean-“

“It’s okay, really,” Ellie said. “Janet really was being totally embarrassing, I’d probably have crawled in a hole and died if she’d said that about me too. But- but I mean what I said, you know? Janet’s more like a mum to me than my own mum is. You are lucky that she’s your dad.”

“Heh, the last few months, she’s been more like a mum to me than MY mum,” Lindsay snorted.

“Umm, okay…” Ellie mumbled. “I wasn’t going to say anything…”

“Nah, but it’s true, though,” Lindsay shrugged. “Two days before Christmas and I haven’t heard shit from her, and all because I actually want to have my dad in my life. Well- fuck her. She’s forced me to choose, dad didn’t, so it’s obvious who I’d choose, right?”

“Well- I guess,” Ellie said.

“And god knows you’re more of a sister to me than Ethan ever was a brother,” Lindsay said. “You AND Jade.”

“Oh- come on…” Ellie feebly mumbled.

“Nah, I mean it, though,” Lindsay said. “Just ‘cause of what our parents have done, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy Christmas, right?”

“…Right,” Ellie said with a smile as a knock came from the front door. “Ugh, speak of the devil…” Ellie forced a smile on her face as she opened the door, but it soon faded when she saw her mother standing on the doorstep.

“Hello Ellie,” Sharon said stoically. “Is Jade ready to go?”

“She’s just on the loo,” Ellie replied, before biting her lip and standing aside to let her mother in. “You can come in and wait if you’d like.”

“Thank you,” the older woman said as she entered the living room and sat down on the sofa after moving a pile of discarded wrapping paper. “I see you had fun today, then?”

“Yeah, we were doing our Secret Santa,” Lindsay said as she sat down next to Ellie opposite Sharon. “Jade got those eyelash curlers on the table, she seemed really pleased by them.”

“Yeah, they’re cool,” Jade said as she returned to the living room. “Oh, umm, hi mum, guess it’s time to go?”

“’Fraid so,” the girls' mother replied with a smile that her eldest child couldn’t help but be irked by. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, just let me get my bag,” Jade said with a sad sigh. “I’ll see you two after Christmas then, I guess?”

“Yep,” Ellie replied. “Dunno yet if we’re doing anything for New Year, a week today is a uni friend’s birthday and he normally lives in Cardiff, so if we go there it’ll be an overnighter, so- yeah. Might be too tired for New Year’s Eve, heh.”

“Well, let me know either way on Facebook,” Jade said. “If you only have New Year’s here it wouldn’t be a problem if I slept over, would it, mum?”

“No, none at all,” the girls’ mother said in a clipped voice. “As long as it’s okay with Janet?”

“I’ve got no problem with her staying overnight with her sister,” Janet said with a warm smile.

“Well, okay then,” Sharon said, fidgeting as her younger daughter looked at her expectantly.

“…You forgotten something?” Ellie asked.

“Yes,” Sharon said, taking a deep breath. “Would- would you like to, umm, to come to Christmas dinner at our house?” Ellie’s face went blank and her jaw slowly dropped as she tried to process what her mother had asked her.

“I- I’m- what?” Ellie asked.

“We feel it would be nice if you came to our house on Christmas to eat with us,” Ellie's mother reiterated. “And, umm, spend the evening, if- if you’d like.”

“…Ellie?” Janet asked softly.

“I- umm…” Ellie feebly mumbled as she felt her heart start to race. She’d never even considered the possibility that her parents might have wanted her to spend Christmas with them, despite the recent thaw in their relationship. As far as she was concerned, they saw her less as their child and more as one of Jade’s friends who they couldn’t stand. For the first time in a very, very long time, Ellie started to feel loved by her birth family- but before she could accept her mother’s invitation, the words she’d spoken to Lindsay mere minutes earlier rang through her head. Sharon wasn’t her mother anymore, not really- Janet was. And Lindsay was her sister. And their so-called 'family' wasn't going to make any such invitation any time soon. However, Ellie quickly realised that it wasn't just her mother making the invitation.

"Please," Jade mouthed, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I- umm, I don't want to leave Janet and Lindsay by themselves..." Ellie feebly mumbled.

"Oh- don't not go just 'cause of us," Lindsay said.

"Absolutely," Janet said. "We'll be fine, really."

"...Why don't you two come as well?" Sharon said, bringing a look of confusion to the Coles' face.

"Wh- really?" Janet asked.

"The more the merrier," Sharon said, though Janet could instinctively tell that her smile was forced, and the offer was only extended as it would help make Ellie feel more comfortable, rather than a genuine desire to have her and her daughter celebrate Christmas with them.

"Well, we DO have a lot of food in..." Janet mumbled, before internally sighing at the expectant look in Ellie's eyes. "But I suppose it's not written anywhere that we can only eat turkey on Christmas Day. Lindsay, do- are you, umm, shall we eat Christmas dinner with the Blakes?"

"...Sounds great!" Lindsay chuckled.

"Then it's settled," Sharon said, her smile gradually becoming more and more sincere. "It'll be the five of us- well, six, including the girls' father."

"Dad's okay with this too?" Ellie asked, musing on how if her relationship with her mother was strained, it was all but destroyed with her father- or so she thought, anyway.

"He's absolutely fine with it," Sharon replied. "And you know how he always buys too much food at Christmas anyway..."

"Yeah," Ellie mused as memories of past Christmases came flooding back to her, of her and Jade- or rather, her and Jack- eating turkey sandwiches for most of January, of having vast amounts of chocolate left over after Christmas, apart from the green triangles, which their father always ate first; and of cheese biscuits that neither sibling could stand but they always ate anyway as they were expected to... It suddenly dawned on Ellie that within 48 hours, she would be making more of those memories, when just minutes earlier, that seemed like an impossibility...

"We usually eat around 12:30, so we're done by the Queen's speech," Sharon explained. "We'll see you around noon?"

"We'll be there," Janet said with a smile as Jade bid farewell to her sister with an excited hug, before following their mother out of the house. "...Well, okay, that was unexpected. Good thing I haven't defrosted the meat yet!"

"Yeah..." Ellie chuckled nervously. "I- umm, I need to go upstairs for a bit..."

"Ellie?" Janet asked, her face filled with concern as the young woman abruptly ran out of the room. "Ellie?"

"Dad," Lindsay whispered, subtly shaking her head as a signal to Janet that she shouldn't follow the distraught young woman.

"I-" Janet said, before sighing and flopping down in her usual chair. "Surely she's happy about this? I mean, compared to the last two years, this is a big, HUGE step even..."

"Mm," Lindsay mumbled as she sat down on the sofa. "Dad, you know- you know she tells me stuff that she maybe doesn't tell you, right?"

"Well, I could probably guess, yeah," Janet replied.

"She- literally just a few seconds ago, before her mother arrived," Lindsay said cautiously, "she said that- she said that you were more like her 'real' mother than her, well, 'real' mother, if you know what I mean?" Janet bit her bottom lip to keep herself from crying, even though it was something that Ellie herself had hinted at on more than one occasion.

"She had called me 'mum' a few times," Janet said. "But- I dunno. God knows what she must be thinking, whether this is, you know, even a step toward moving back in with them?"

"It may be," Lindsay shrugged. "Dad, don't you- don't you want Ellie to move out?"

"I- I dunno," Janet replied, before sighing. "First, it's important that I say that I absolutely do NOT see Ellie as more important than you. No one is, full stop."

"I never thought you did," Lindsay said.

"As for Ellie moving out..." Janet said, before letting out another, longer sigh. "I know it's on the cards eventually. Me and her were only supposed to be a short-term thing anyway, but things change..."

"Yeah, you can say that again," Lindsay snorted, causing Janet to feel a pang of guilt in her chest. "I think Ellie said she was thinking of moving in with Sade in September anyway, getting their own place, that sort of thing."

"Yeah, I think Ellie's said that too," Janet mumbled. "But the question is, what do we do about Christmas? With Ellie in this state, I- I'm not sure it'd be in her best interests to go on Christmas Day..."

"Well whatever she decides, we'll be there for her, right?" Lindsay asked.

"Of course," Janet replied with a nod. "Because that's what families do."

Ellie laid on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to process what had just happened. Mere minutes earlier, she'd been so certain that her parents had wanted nothing to do with her, but now they were inviting not just her, but her new family to eat Christmas dinner with them? Ellie couldn't rationalise the change in her mind. She was sure that Jade had influenced her parents in some way, that the invitation was her idea and not theirs, but the difference in her mother compared to when Ellie had come out to her was incomprehensible.

Ellie couldn't tell how long she was lost in her jumbled thoughts, but a knock on the door quickly brought her back to reality. Ellie took several deep breaths to compose herself, before wiping her mascara-streaked face with a tissue and sitting cross-legged on her bed.

"I'm okay, Janet," Ellie said.

"It's Lindsay," the voice on the other side of the door said. "Can I come in?"

"Umm, okay," Ellie replied, smiling as the brown-haired girl entered the room and sat down at Ellie's dresser.

"You okay?" Lindsay asked softly.

"Yes," Ellie immediately replied, before sighing. "Ugh, I dunno..."

"Yeah," Lindsay mumbled. "Do- do you want to, you know, go to your family's house for Christmas?"

"I- I dunno..." Ellie moaned, before flopping back onto her bed. "They're not my family anymore. Not really. Well..."

"...Jade is?" Lindsay asked softly.

"If I go, I'm going for her, not for mum- not for Sharon and David," Ellie said. "Do you- do you really want to come too?"

"It's not like I have a family to eat with anymore," Lindsay snorted, before grimacing. "I- I'm sorry, that's not fair... I DO have a family. You and dad. And god knows it'd be more fun spending Christmas with other girls than with Ethan and mum. And yes, you and Jade are totally, unquestionably 100% girls just as much as I am."

"Thanks," Ellie said with a smug smile that made her friend giggle. "But- ugh, I dunno. I dunno if this'll be a one-time thing, or-"

"Or if you'll eventually end up moving back in?" Lindsay asked.

"THAT isn't gonna happen," Ellie said. "Bastards made their decision when they kicked me out."

"But that was two years ago," Lindsay whispered. "And you can't deny things HAVE changed."

"Well- true, I guess," Ellie sighed. "But this is my home, and you and Janet are my family. Besides, we can't have chats like this if I move out, can we?"

"Umm, we can over FaceTime?" Lindsay said, before sighing and smiling as her friend sat up and gave her a gentle hug.

"Not the same thing," Ellie said with a smile, before sighing and leading Lindsay back downstairs to where Janet was waiting.

"Feeling a little better?" the 45-year-old woman asked.

"Meh, maybe a bit," Ellie replied.

"Still trying to make up your mind about Christmas Day?" Janet asked.

"No, my mind's made up, I'm going," Ellie said. "But for Jade's sake only."

"Well, then we'll go with you too," Janet said, smiling as Lindsay enthusiastically nodded along. "For YOUR sake only."

"...Thanks," Ellie said, blinking back tears as she basked in the love of her surrogate family.

The three women spent Christmas Eve watching television, chatting with their friends online and preparing for the following day. With no big meal to prepare for, Janet found herself at a loose end, which meant that she couldn't distract herself from her concerns for both Ellie and Lindsay. Janet knew that the meal would be tense for Ellie, having to be polite and grateful to parents she's openly talked about despising in the past. But Janet also knew that the meal would be tense for Lindsay, too- eating in unfamiliar surroundings was something Lindsay had trouble with as a child; and despite Sharon's reassurances, she couldn't be certain that her and her husband would make Lindsay feel welcome in their home. However, Janet also knew that the same could be said about her...

As Janet had predicted, she was the first to wake up on Christmas Day, rising just after 7:30am. However, Ellie and Lindsay both got up shortly afterwards, lured downstairs by the sound of the television, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and bacon frying, and the prospect of the two large piles of presents Janet had placed on the sofa last night.

"Merry Christmas, girls!" Janet said with a giggle as she gave each girl a gentle hug, which Lindsay and Ellie were, for once, happy to reciprocate. "I'll just get your breakfasts ready, then you can start opening. And NOT before, okay?"

"Did she have this rule the last two years?" Lindsay asked Ellie, who simply rolled her eyes in response.

"Did she have this rule the last seventeen years?" Ellie replied, making her brown-haired friend giggle as Janet sighed and returned to the kitchen.

"Just be thankful I DIDN'T dress up as Santa this year," Janet said.

"The costume and the beard wouldn't really suit you anymore," Lindsay said with a warm smile that made Janet feel happy inside.

Once the three women had eaten their breakfasts, they eagerly tore into their expertly wrapped gifts. With her new, much better paying job, Janet had spared no expense in giving Ellie and Lindsay a Christmas to remember. Both girls unwrapped designer clothes, expensive shoes and fancy perfume and make-up. Lindsay was most excited by her new Galaxy Note 9, while Ellie wasted no time in setting up the Xbox One X Janet had given her.

Janet's own presents were less extravagant than the girls', but she was no less grateful for them- her new dress wasn't from a designer label, but was still beautiful nonetheless, and she intended to make the most of the spa day Ellie and Lindsay had clubbed together on.

Eventually, though, all the presents were unwrapped, and the time came for the three women to head out. Janet, Lindsay and Ellie all spent extra time and care on their look for the day, each wearing a new dress, shoes with between a 2- and 3-inch heel, elegant make-up and some of their new perfume.

However, while Janet and Lindsay were ready with plenty of time to spare, Ellie spent far longer getting ready- so long, in fact, that Janet immediately started worrying when the clock ticked over to 11am and she still wasn't out of her bedroom.

"Ellie?" Janet asked, knocking on her bedroom door. "Are- are you okay? If you've changed your mind about going, it's no trouble to-"

"No, I'm okay, I'll be out in a bit," Ellie said, emerging from her room but looking very unsteady on her feet.

"Ellie?" Janet asked. "Are you SURE you want to do this?"

"...No," Ellie sighed. "But I said I would. Let- let's just get this over with, okay?"

"Okay," Janet said. "I'm sure you'll feel better once you and Jade start talking."

"Yeah," Ellie chuckled. "Doubt my par- umm, I doubt Sharon and David will have got her an Xbox, heh. Hell, it'll be a miracle if they even bought her a new dress..." Janet forced a smile on her face as she led the two teenagers to her car- while she was upset to hear Ellie disparaging her parents, a selfish part of her was relieved that Ellie wouldn't be leaving her anytime soon...

The car pulled up outside Ellie's parents' house a short while later, and all three women forced smiles on their faces as they knocked on the door- though Ellie's smile instantly became genuine when her sister answered the door.

"Ellie!" Jade squeaked as she gave her older sister a tight hug that caught the 18-year-old by surprise. "I'm SO glad you came!"

"I am too," Ellie giggled. "Is that a new dress?"

"Yep!" Jade giggled, doing a twirl to show off the knee-length, dark grey garment. "So are these!" Ellie smiled as Jade showed off the delicate crystal drops hanging from her ears.

"They're beautiful," Ellie gushed as she started to feel self-conscious about the gold studs in her own earlobes.

"Yep!" Jade giggled. "I didn't ask for them either, mum and dad must've just seen them and bought them. But come in, come in! Don't stand out in the cold, hehe! Hi Lindsay, hi Janet!"

"Hi Jade!" Janet chuckled as she removed her coat. "Do we take our shoes off?"

"It seems a pity to, seeing how gorgeous those shoes are, but- yeah, I'm afraid so," Jade said with a half-sigh, half-giggle. "Come on through, mum and dad are preparing the meal, but you can help yourself to some nibbles. Would you like anything to drink?"

"Sure, just a soft drink for me and Lindsay, please," Janet replied. "Ellie? You are eighteen now..."

"...Just a soft drink too," Ellie mumbled as she fidgeted on the sofa.

"Ellie?" Janet asked as Jade disappeared into the kitchen.

"I'm fine," Ellie said defensively. "It's just- ugh. I dunno. Being back here... I- I dunno."

"If at any point you want to go, just say," Janet said softly.

"I'll be fine," Ellie whispered as Jade emerged from the kitchen, accompanied by her mother.

"Hello you three," Sharon said with a warm smile. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas!" Janet said as she exchanged a light handshake with her host. "Thank you for having us for dinner, your home looks beautiful!"

"Thank you," Sharon said. "Ellie, we- we bought you a few gifts." Ellie looked up in shock as her mother handed her a small, festive-themed bag containing a handful of carefully wrapped packages. "Well go on, open them!"

"You- you didn't need to," Ellie mumbled as she opened the first gift and gasped at what she saw inside.

There, inside the small box, were a pair of crystal earrings identical to the ones hanging from Jade's lobes. Ellie bit her lip to hold back her tears, before leaping to her feet and giving her mother a long, tender hug.

"Thank you," Ellie whispered.

"Merry Christmas," Sharon whispered back. "My daughter."

"Well?" Jade asked with a nervous giggle. "Are you going to try them on? We can, you know, get a picture together, the two of us- or maybe, you know, the four of us?" Ellie smiled as she removed her studs and pushed the new earrings into her lobes, giggling as she looked at her reflection in the mirror- and how much she looked like her sister.

Ellie happily posed for the photos that Jade requested, and after unwrapping the rest of her presents- which included a new bracelet and a smart black skirt- she, Janet and Lindsay joined the family in eating a Christmas feast fit for a king.

After the meal, Janet thanked Sharon not only for the food, but for her faultless hospitality and the generosity that she'd shown her oldest daughter.

"It was the least we could do," Sharon replied. "After all, she IS family. And family shouldn't walk out on each other."

"...That's true," Janet whispered as she and Lindsay donned their coats and shoes. "Well, we should be getting home now, but thank you so much for having us over. Ellie? Are you ready?"

"Umm..." Ellie mumbled hesitantly. "Actually, I- is it okay if I, umm..."

"Of course it is," Sharon said with a smile that warmed her daughter's heart. Ellie bit her lip as Janet nodded as well, though she couldn't help but notice a look of sadness in the older woman's eyes.

"We can drop her back round later," Ellie's father said. "Unless, of course, you want to stay over? We- we've moved all the stuff out of your bedroom, you can sleep over if you'd like? I know Jade would love it..."

"...Maybe next time," Ellie said. "But- but thank you."

"You're my daughter, you don't need to thank me," David said, before giving his oldest child a warm, albeit hesitant hug.

"Well- we'll see you later," Janet said as she and Lindsay bade their farewells before heading out to Janet's car.

"Well, that went well," Lindsay said as she sat down in the car and fastened her seatbelt. "D'you think Ellie's parents are actually gonna accept her?"

"Well, this is the time of the year for miracles," Janet replied, before cringing- while Ellie may have had a happy Christmas with her mother, the same could not be said of Lindsay. "When- when we get home, umm, do- do you want to call your mother?"

"What's the point?" Lindsay snorted. "She knows my number, if she wants to call, she can, and she obviously doesn't want to."

"Well- ugh, I dunno," Janet sighed. "Let's get home and watch the Queen's speech, okay?"

"Okay," Lindsay shrugged as the two women headed back to their home.

Janet and Lindsay arrived back just before 3pm, giving them just enough time to remove their coats and their shoes before sitting down to watch Queen Elizabeth II's annual address to the nation and the Commonwealth.

"I believe this message of peace on Earth and goodwill to all is never out of date," the elderly monarch said at the conclusion of her speech. "It can be heeded by everyone; it's needed as much as ever. A very happy Christmas to you all." Janet smiled as the Queen's image disappeared from the screen, to be replaced by the beautiful voice of a young male chorister singing the opening verse of Once in Royal David's City. As she looked over at her daughter, though, she could tell that the young woman was deep in thought.

"...Lindsay?" Janet asked.

"Dad," Lindsay whispered. "I- I'd like to call mum, if that's okay?"

"Of course it is," Janet replied softly, sitting back and trying not to stare as Lindsay removed her phone and dialled. A brief pause filled the room, before Lindsay nervously spoke.

"H- hi, mum," Lindsay said, before her face contorted and tears started to stream down her face. Lindsay throwing her phone onto the sofa was all Janet needed to see to determine how badly the call had gone. She immediately rushed over to her daughter and wrapped her in a tight, loving hug, letting Lindsay cry onto her shoulder as she mused that while Ellie was finally mending fences with her family, for her own daughter, that was as far away as it had ever been...

“Ten!” The assembled women shouted, barely making themselves heard over the roar of the nightclub. “Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!”

“Aw, girlies!” Ellie squeaked excitedly as the countdown neared its conclusion.

“Five!” The young women yelled. “Four! Three! Two! One… Happy birthday!” Ellie squeaked as the clock ticked over to midnight and she was showered with streamers and glitter. It had just turned midnight on Sunday, the 24th of February 2019, meaning that Ellie was officially nineteen years old- and best of all, surrounded by a large group of friends helping her to celebrate.

Of course, as Ellie’s birthday was on a Sunday, the girls had spent most of the Saturday beforehand actually celebrating, but that didn’t stop Ellie from feeling a tingle of excitement as her actual birthday began. It was her third birthday in her true identity, and while the previous two had been special, this one was shaping up to be the best yet.

There were many reasons for this, but they all boiled down to the many changes in Ellie’s circumstances over the previous twelve months. She was living in a proper house, with someone who had an income large enough to spoil Ellie for her birthday. Ellie had an income of her own, was studying a topic she loved and was more independent than she’d ever been. But despite all that, it was the people in her life who were most responsible for making the day special. Ellie had more friends than she ever had at any point during her life, old friends who’d known her for a long time like Kacey and Monique, new friends from university like Sade and Sally, and best of all, had gained a sister in Jade, and a de facto sister in Lindsay. The biggest difference between her nineteenth birthday and the previous two, however, was that for the first time ever, ‘Ellie’ would be celebrating her birthday with her parents.

Ellie had had more contact with her parents in the two months since Christmas than she’d had in the previous two years, and with each visit, she felt more at ease. David and Sharon had finally come around to the idea that Ellie was their daughter and were at long last treating her as such, and the following day, they were planning on taking Ellie and Jade out for a fancy meal to celebrate Ellie’s big day. As much as Ellie looked forward to the dinner, though, it still made her feel anxious.

While Ellie was happy that her relationship with her parents was improving, she worried about where the improved relationship was leading her. Her parents hadn’t said anything specific, but Ellie had the distinct impression that they expected her to eventually move back in- and that was a decision Ellie was incapable of making.

On the one hand, Ellie was enjoying a better relationship with them than she had done in years, even better than during her last years as ‘Liam’. She was able to talk to them candidly about her life, her studies, and even her transition- all helped by the fact that her younger sister was going through the exact same thing she was. Over the previous two months, Ellie and Jade had grown closer than ever. They'd been on shopping trips together, swapped clothes and make-up and helped each other with their studies. Ellie and Jade had even had sleepovers at their parents’ house- the first time Ellie had slept under their roof in over 2 years. Ellie was certain that if their parents did want her to move back in, Jade would be desperate for it to happen. Ellie’s father had even begun the process of turning her old room back from a storage room into an actual bedroom again, though it was still far from being a room Ellie could call her own. However, as much as Ellie might have wanted to move back into her family home, another larger, more rational part of her reminded her that it wasn’t really her home, not anymore, and David and Sharon weren’t really her parents- Janet was.

Prior to their night out, Ellie and the other girls- even those in the group who were under 18, like Lindsay and Jade- had been treated to a fancy takeaway meal and a large chocolate cake, all provided by Janet. Every time Ellie had trouble with her uni work, Janet was there to help. Every time she had a falling out with one of her friends, or trouble with boys, it was Janet’s shoulder she could lean on. She could talk to Janet in a way she never could to David and Sharon, not even when she was living as 'Liam', and if she left Janet, she would miss her (and Lindsay) terribly, and would feel guilty at leaving her after all the help she'd been given. But then again, every day she continued to live with Janet was another day she was snubbing her parents- and her sister...

Ellie arrived home shortly after 2am and headed straight to bed, the alcohol in her system causing her to fall straight asleep despite her excitement over the following day. She was woken the following morning not by her dry mouth or pounding headache, but by the sound of movement coming from downstairs- and her excitement over what the sound represented soon made her forget all about her hangover.

“Happy birthday!” Janet and Lindsay yelled simultaneously, causing Ellie to simultaneously giggle and wince as she descended the stairs to the living room.

“Aww, thank you so much!” Ellie replied as she exchanged hugs with the two women, before surveying the scene. The living room was just as heavily decorated as it had been the previous night, with shiny pink streamers and banners reading ‘happy birthday’ strewn everywhere, and two balloons in the shape of a ‘1’ and a ‘9’ taking pride of place against the wall. What attracted Ellie’s attention the most, though, was the pile of presents on the sofa. “You really didn’t have to-“

“Yes we did, Ellie, yes we did,” Janet interrupted, making Ellie sigh and giggle. “Though I’m guessing by your breath that what you really want first is some coffee, so sit down, I’ll get you some breakfast, then you can start opening!”

“Thank you, thank you so much for everything…” Ellie sighed happily.

“Seriously, you’re more than welcome!” Lindsay giggled as she led Ellie to the sofa. “I mean, you’re gonna make a huge fuss of me for my eighteenth in April, right?”

“Well, duh!” Ellie replied, sharing an excited squeak with her surrogate sister. “And yes, we will have a night out as well. A very noisy night out!” Janet sighed at the sight of the two giggling teenagers as she returned from the kitchen with Ellie’s coffee, though she, as always, got a warm feeling inside at the sight of the two girls getting along like the good friends they were.

“Yes, well, you’re still seventeen for the next 2 months, so don’t get any ideas in your head,” Janet cautioned her daughter, who rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Yes, dad,” Lindsay said, before grinning excitedly as Janet sat down and joined her in staring expectantly at the birthday girl.

“…Okay, hint taken,” Ellie said with a mock sigh, before letting out an excited squeak and tearing open the wrapping paper on her first present.

Ellie had a wide grin on her face as she unwrapped a new dress, a new pair of shoes, two new skirts and a new bikini for the coming summer. The DVDs, CDs and Xbox games she unwrapped only made the smile wider, and once all the presents had been unwrapped and the wrapping paper cleared away, she gave Janet and Lindsay each a long, tight hug.

“Thank you so much for all of this,” Ellie whispered, blinking tears out of her eyes.

“It’s the least we can do, honestly,” Janet said. “Believe me when I say, Ellie, that you deserve to be spoiled, you deserve to have this day to celebrate. Sometimes I don’t think you realise just how much happiness you’ve brought into our lives.”

“Oh- oh for god’s sake,” Ellie giggled as tears began to form in her eyes and she leaned in for another hug. Though as she hugged Janet, she couldn't help but think that she'd never get that sort of love from David and Sharon...

“Just remember how generous we’ve been in two months’ time,” Lindsay teased, giggling as Ellie rolled her eyes and Janet let out a mock exasperated sigh. Internally, though, Ellie sympathised with the soon to be 18-year-old girl, as unlike her, Lindsay didn’t have the support of a second family to rely on- she and Janet were all the girl had.

“I’ll remember, believe me!” Ellie giggled. “I will remember this for the rest of my life, I honestly will.”

“I know,” Janet whispered emotionally. “Now come on, you’d better get ready, your parents will be here in a bit to pick you up!”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ellie said, letting out a sigh that she hoped didn’t sound sad or disappointed.

“Ellie, are- aren’t you looking forward to today?” Janet asked quietly as she and Ellie sat down on the sofa.

“Meh, a bit,” Ellie shrugged. “It’s just- the big celebration was yesterday, you know? I mean, who has a birthday on a Sunday, anyway?”

“Well, you do,” Janet replied. “This year, anyway. And I know your parents will have gone to a lot of trouble, and Jade will probably be looking forward to this as much as you, if not more!”

“I suppose,” Ellie shrugged, before smiling. “And it is an excuse to get dressed up, heh!”

“Atta girl,” Janet said with a giggle.

“Do- do you think Steph will be round today?” Ellie asked nervously.

“I don’t know,” Janet replied in a quiet voice. “God knows she’s had a busy couple of weeks since Valentine’s Day, so I wouldn’t expect her to drop round. Though I’m sure she’s remembered, I can always ask her tomorrow if she's in the office.”

“I guess,” Ellie shrugged. “What are you going to do with your day, then?”

“Dunno,” Janet shrugged. “Got a ton of files to review for work tomorrow, there's also going to be a conference call with Paris as well over this whole sponsorship thing, so I’ll probably just prepare for that. And I think Lindsay’s hanging out with Keira today?”

“Yep, those of us who WEREN’T out last night,” Lindsay confirmed. “Seriously though, you just, like, enjoy today!” Ellie smiled at her friend’s insistence, though she could tell from the look in Lindsay’s eyes that she wished she could have the same relationship with her mother and brother that Ellie had with her parents and sister. Nevertheless, Ellie was determined to follow her friends’ wishes and enjoy her day, and after she finished her breakfast, she headed upstairs to get ready for the day.

After a quick shower to get rid of the last of the glitter in her hair, Ellie headed to her bedroom where she pulled on a soft bra and thong, before sitting down at her dresser and letting out a long sigh. The previous night, her look had involved heavy eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick, with plenty of fake tan and body glitter as well. However, as much as Ellie loved that look, she knew it wouldn’t be even close to appropriate for where she was going- even if it was her birthday. Ellie tried to console herself with the thought that she should consider herself lucky to be able to wear make-up at all on her birthday, especially when going to see her parents, but that thought only served to drive home the feeling that David and Sharon weren’t her parents anymore- not really, anyway.

Eventually, Ellie opted for a subtle but still feminine look, with modest eyeliner and mascara and a natural coloured eyeshadow, before pulling on a pair of thin black tights and one of her new birthday dresses, a tight-fitting dark burgundy dress with long sleeves, a knee-length skirt and a high turtleneck collar. Ellie completed her look by putting on a pair of dark-coloured pumps with a 3 inch stiletto heel and her favourite bracelets and necklaces, but before she closed her jewellery box, she saw pair of crystal drop earrings her parents had given her for Christmas. Ellie grinned as she removed her large silver hoops and replaced them with the special pair of earrings, as they served to remind her that even though it was her parents who’d be hosting her birthday dinner (and indeed, it was them who had given her the earrings), she’d also be spending the day with her sister- someone she loved just as much as Janet or Lindsay, if not more so.

Sure enough, when the Blake family arrived a short while later, it was Jade who knocked on the door and who greeted Ellie with a tight hug when she opened it.

“Happy birthday!” Jade squeaked excitedly, before letting out a high-pitched girlish giggle. “And I LOVE those earrings, hehe!”

“Thanks!” Ellie giggled. “I love yours too, hehe!” Jade smiled as she brushed her hair back to show off her earrings- something that had become a ritual for the two girls every time they met. Ellie couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of her sister’s earrings, and the wide grin they were putting on Jade’s face. With every passing day, the 16-year-old girl was putting 'Jack' more and more behind her, and every time she did, her confidence increased. Her shy, nervous little brother had blossomed into a beautiful young woman seemingly overnight, and while Ellie still felt occasional twinges of jealousy, for the most part, the happier Jade was, the happier Ellie was.

“Happy birthday Ellie,” the girls’ father said as he leaned in to give Ellie an awkward hug. “Hi Janet.”

“Hi David,” Janet said politely. “Have you brought Ellie’s presents with you or are they all still at your place?”

“Still at home,” David replied as Ellie shared a hug with her mother.

“You are going to LOVE what we’ve got you!” Jade said with a subtle wink that made her sister giggle again.

“I can’t wait!” Ellie said as she grabbed her coat, before pausing. With a roll of her eyes and a smile on her face, Ellie approached Janet and gave her a long, tight hug- a gesture the older woman was all too happy to reciprocate, even if the stare she got from David and Sharon made her feel more than a little awkward.

“Text me when you’re on your way home,” Janet said, biting her lip to hold back tears as Ellie left with her family.

“…Dad?” Lindsay asked as the front door closed. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” Janet replied. “Oh, umm, yeah, I’m fine, I just- ugh, I dunno.”

“Happy for Ellie?” Lindsay asked. “I mean, she’s got her family back and all?” Janet bit her lip as she could see that the topic of family was still a sensitive one for her daughter.

“Yeah,” Janet whispered. “Hey Lindsay, how- how’d you like to go out somewhere today, maybe we could go shopping, or-“

“Dad, I’m hanging out with Keira today,” Lindsay reminded her father. “And you’ve got lots of work to do for tomorrow, remember?”

“Oh- right, right,” Janet mumbled.

“Dad, seriously, are you okay?” Lindsay asked, frowning as Janet let out a long sigh.

“I- ugh, I dunno, maybe,” Janet sighed. “I’m just worried about Ellie, you know?”

“Why?” Lindsay asked with a shrug. “From what she’s told me, her parents are better with her than they’ve ever been.”

“Yeah, but things can change,” Janet cautioned. For one thing, the middle-aged woman thought to herself, Ellie might decide to move out permanently…

Janet bit her lip to control her emotions as she thought about what she considered to be the worst-case scenario. Ellie had been a part of her life for so long that she couldn’t contemplate life without her in it. For two whole decades, Janet had come to define herself by being a parent, first as father to Ethan and Lindsay, then as surrogate mother to Ellie. When Ethan and Lindsay had denied her the right to be a parent, it had set off a chain reaction that almost ended with Janet taking her own life. While she had eventually regained Lindsay’s love and acceptance, Janet feared that if she lost Ellie, it would send her back down the same spiral. Janet knew consciously that Ellie would never reject her the way her other children had, but deep down, she knew that the day Ellie moved out, her heart would break- and if it was to move back in with her parents, it would hurt just that little more. However, Janet knew such thoughts were selfishness on her part- after all, the living arrangements were only ever meant to be temporary...

Ellie took a deep breath and straightened her short dress as she stepped out of her parents’ car and followed them into their house, her former home, but a place that felt more like a real home every time she visited.

“Would you like anything to eat or drink before you start opening your presents?” Ellie’s mother asked as Ellie reluctantly removed her shoes, just as she'd done throughout her whole life.

“Umm, no thanks, I had breakfast at Jan- at, umm, at home,” Ellie replied.

“Okay,” Sharon whispered. “Well, I hope you’ve saved room for lunch, at least- you are looking a bit, umm, skinny…”

“She’s still getting used to being the mother of girls,” Jade whispered to her sister, making Ellie giggle nervously as she sat down next to a large pile of presents.

“Well- start whenever you’re ready!” David said, smiling warmly as his eldest child began opening her gifts.

Just as she had done earlier that morning, Ellie unwrapped her gifts to reveal more clothes, cosmetics and DVDs, but David and Sharon’s gifts also included a lot of personalised and homeware items, including framed photos of her and Jade, a wall clock and several dainty ornaments. Ellie reasoned that as she was technically an adult, it made sense that her parents would give her more ‘grown-up’ presents, but something about the gifts still made her feel uneasy. She soon received the answers she was looking for, though, when the last of her gifts were opened and she was abruptly ushered out of her seat.

“We- we have one final present for you,” David explained as he led Ellie and the rest of the family upstairs.

“Umm, okay,” Ellie said.

“It’s something we couldn’t really wrap,” Jade teased, her excitement levels increasing with every step they took. “Well- here we are! Aren’t you going to open it?”

“Open what?” Ellie asked as she was stood outside the house’s storage room- her old bedroom. “Wh- my- my room?”

“Go on, open it!” David urged, a wide, proud grin spreading across his face. Ellie hesitantly reached for the door handle and slowly opened it, gasping at the sight that greeted her.

Behind the door was a girl’s bedroom, but not just any bedroom- it was the very room Ellie had dreamed about having all throughout her childhood. Gone were the storage boxes and the old, dull single bed, and in its place was a double bed with plush pink sheets and fluffy pillows with a delicate lace edging. The room had been repainted a dusky pink colour, and the old wooden flooring had replaced by a plush new carpet. ‘Liam’s old plain wooden shelves and wardrobe had been replaced by a much larger wardrobe with a full-length mirror and a built-in shoe rack, and a dressing table with three mirrors took pride of place by the window. Ellie’s jaw dropped and tears began to fill her eyes as she surveyed the scene- the new furniture was very clearly not cheap, and was a lot better even than what Ellie had in her room at Janet’s house.

“It- I-“ Ellie stammered.

“Welcome home,” David said, before giving his oldest daughter a warm, loving hug.

“Th- thank you,” Ellie whispered. “Thank you so much!”

“You can start moving your things in whenever you’re ready,” Sharon said as she took over the hug from her husband. “And even if you do move out, get your own place, this room will always be waiting for you when you want it.”

“Isn’t this amazing?” Jade squeaked as she took her sister by the hand and led her into the room. “I was the one who picked out the colour scheme- obviously, hehe! And I knew you’d LOVE this!” Jade gestured to a part of the room that had previously been obscured by the door- a large corkboard taking up most of the wall, onto which Jade had already pinned multiple photos of herself, Ellie and several of their other friends.

“It- it’s amazing,” Ellie breathed.

“Ellie?” Jade asked. “You’re kinda less excited than I was expecting…”

“No, I- it- it’s amazing, it really is, thank you for all of this,” Ellie said as her conflicted emotions began to overwhelm her.

On the one hand, the day she’d dreamed of for almost three years had finally arrived. Her parents were welcoming her home with open arms and unconditionally accepting her as their daughter. She had a room, a personal space that was unquestionably hers, and even had a younger sister who adored her- something Ellie couldn’t even have dreamed of when she came out three years earlier. David and Sharon had finally forgiven Ellie- but the emotion that Ellie felt at that thought was anger.

Why did Ellie even need to be forgiven? She’d done nothing wrong. She’d done nothing more than Jade had done two years later, and yet while her sister was accepted, Ellie had been thrown out, discarded like a piece of litter. How dare her parents forgive her? If anyone should need forgiving, it was them, and Ellie wasn’t sure whether or not she was ready to do that just yet- especially when David and Sharon were trying to take her away from the one consistent source of support she’d known over the previous three years.

“I’ll get on the phone to Janet now,” Sharon said. “Explain that you’ll be moving back, we can sort out a time to get everything-“

“Yeah, umm, about that,” Ellie mumbled. “I- umm, I’m not sure, you know…”

“What, don’t- don’t you want to move back in?” Sharon asked.

“Well- umm,” Ellie mumbled as she chose her words carefully so as not to offend her family. “I’ll be moving out anyway in a few months to get my own place, or a place with Sade, and, you know, I’m settled at Janet’s…”

“But you only moved in there a few months ago,” Jade reminded her sister. “Don’t- don’t you want to live with us, Ellie?”

“No- no, it’s not that, I-“ Ellie stammered, before being interrupted.

“Then what is it?” Jade pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

“It- I- I don’t know,” Ellie moaned as she stormed out of the room.

"You yourself said that actions speak louder than words," Sharon said. "When we spoke with Dr Richmond, last September?"

"Yeah, but I-" Ellie stammered. "I like living with Janet..."

“Well, that’s gratitude for you,” David grumbled under his breath, grimacing when he realised he hadn’t lowered his voice enough for Ellie not to hear.

“You know,” Ellie said, desperately fighting her emotions, “I would like to at least have some say in where I live, rather than have you decide it for me.”

“Still selfish, then,” David sneered, causing his daughter’s face to redden with anger.

“If money’s all you care about, you can return the presents, I don’t care,” Ellie spat. “I- I’m going home. Sorry.”

“This IS your home,” Sharon insisted.

“But- but it isn’t, though,” Ellie said, before shaking her head and heading down the stairs, where she wasted no time in putting her coat and shoes back on and summoning an Uber to pick her up.

On her way back home, Ellie replayed the events of the morning in her mind over and over again in an attempt to convince herself that she had done the right thing, that she hadn’t overreacted and that her parents were unreasonable, but as hard as she tried, Ellie’s thoughts remained conflicted. Her parents HAD clearly gone to a lot of trouble. It certainly wasn’t ‘Liam’s room that they’d wanted her to move back into, it was a room that had been designed around ‘Ellie’, with her needs and desires front and foremost. And most of all, it had been Jade who had taken the lead in designing the room, not David or Sharon.

It was also almost certainly Jade who was the most eager for Ellie to move back into the house, and as much as Ellie loved her sister, she couldn’t help but be frustrated. Jade hadn’t gone through what Ellie had, hadn’t felt the sharp pain of being rejected, of being made homeless by her own family, so for her to think that Ellie could simply forget the previous three years and move back in was naivety at best, and pig-headed arrogance at worst. Ellie hoped that it was just naivety on her sister’s part, as if Jade turned out to be anything like David and Sharon, their relationship would quickly deteriorate- which was the last thing Ellie wanted to happen.

“Ellie?” Janet asked, frowning in confusion as the blonde girl let herself into the house. “Why are you back so soon? Is everything- Ellie? Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” Ellie mumbled, before breaking down in tears and leaning into Janet for a long, loving hug.

After a long cry, Ellie headed up stairs to use the toilet (and repair her trashed make-up), returning to the living room a short while later to find Janet waiting with a mug of tea and a plate of Jaffa cakes- Ellie’s favourite comfort food for when she was feeling depressed.

“Hey,” Janet whispered. “Are- are you feeling any better?”

“…Not really,” Ellie mumbled as she crashed onto the sofa. “My- ugh. David and Sharon, they- they want me to move back in with them. They redecorated my old bedroom, made it into, like, a proper girl’s room and everything…”

“But- but you don’t want to move back with them?” Janet asked.

“I didn’t say THAT,” Ellie replied defensively, wary of her guardian’s attempts to psychoanalyse her.

“No,” Janet conceded, “but the fact that you’re back home hours early in floods of tears kinda hints that you might be thinking it.”

“…Maybe,” Ellie mumbled.

“Ellie,” Janet said softly. “I- I always thought you wanted to move back in with your parents, to be accepted by them again?”

“I do,” Ellie replied, before shaking her head. “I mean, I did, I- I dunno…”

“It is a big decision, and you do need to think carefully about it,” Janet whispered.

“Do- do you want me to move out?” Ellie asked in a small, scared voice.

“It’s not about what I want,” Janet replied. “Your needs come first. All parents should put their child’s needs before their own. ALL of them.”

“Yeah, well, try telling David and Shar-“ Ellie snorted in reply, before being interrupted by a knock on the front door. “…Are- are you expecting a delivery?”

“No,” Janet replied, answering the door to discover Ellie’s sister stood on the doorstep, her make-up betraying the fact that she’d shed almost as many tears as Ellie had.

“Hi Janet,” Jade whispered. “Is Ellie here?”

“Come in,” Janet said, biting her lip as Jade walked into the living room and stared at her older sister, a mix of anger and sadness in her eyes. “I’ll give you two some privacy…” Janet took a deep breath as she shut herself in the kitchen, though it didn't take long for the teenagers’ voices came ringing through the wall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jade asked, eliciting a look of anger from her sister.

“Wi- me!?” Ellie retorted. “What, I’m meant to just sit back and accept being ordered around?”

“Order- what?” Jade asked confusedly. “How is a birthday present ‘ordering you around’?”

“They sent you around, didn’t they?” Ellie asked. “David and Sharon?”

“MUM and DAD,” Jade snarled. “And no, they didn’t. I came around myself ‘cause I want to know why my sister hates the thought of living with me.”

“I don’t-“ Ellie said, before sighing. “Of course I’d love to live with you, but- but I want that to be my decision.”

“So right now, you’re deciding not to?” Jade asked. “When you’ve got a room all set up and ready for you?”

“No one has the right to tell me where I should live,” Ellie said. “Just as DAVID and SHARON never had the right to tell me HOW I should live.”

“So if you wanted to move in, everyone should just jump and redecorate the room just because you want it?” Jade sneered, fuelling her sister’s anger.

“Well, obviously not,” Ellie growled. “How a normal person would do it is to ask if I could move back in, THEN work out how to sort it out. How a normal person DOESN’T do it is to say ‘here’s your new room’ and expect me to uproot myself at a moment’s notice!”

“I see,” Jade sighed angrily. “Guess mum and dad were right about you after all.”

“Get the fuck away from me!” Ellie screamed, momentarily startling her sister.

“…Fine, I’ll go,” Jade spat. “It was nice while it lasted, having a sister.”

“Yeah, same here,” Ellie grunted, turning her head away so as to not let her sister see her tears. Once the front door had closed behind her, Janet emerged from the kitchen, and immediately rushed to Ellie to give the girl another comforting hug.

“… I really should talk to the estate agent again,” Janet sighed. “These walls aren’t nearly as soundproof as they said they were.”

“Heh,” Ellie chuckled as she wiped yet more tears from her stinging eyes. “I’m going to go through a LOT of mascara today…”

“Well, you did get plenty more today,” Janet said, before sighing.

“J- Janet?” Ellie asked.

“You asked- you asked me earlier if I wanted you to move out,” Janet said. “And I avoided answering… The answer- the answer is ‘no’. I much prefer you living here than anywhere else. But- but that’s just me being selfish. Obviously, it must be your choice where you live.”

“I know I’ve said this before,” Ellie sighed, “but I really wish you were my mother, heh.”

“And I really wish you were my daughter,” Janet sighed.

“Even though you already have a daughter?” Ellie asked.

“Maybe… You can never have too much family?” Janet asked with a shrug.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be too sure about that if I were you…” Ellie moaned as she laid back on the sofa and let out a long, pained sigh.

Ellie spent the rest of the day glued to the sofa, whether it was watching TV, playing on her Xbox or doing coursework for the return to university the following day. Lindsay arrived home shortly before dinnertime, and when she’d been filled in on the situation, she immediately gave Ellie a long hug and promised to give her surrogate sister all the support she needed.

The three women all opted for an early night, though as hard as she tried, Ellie once again had difficulty falling asleep. She was used to dealing with her parents’ anger, and their arrogance in believing that she’d drop everything and move back in with them, but Jade’s anger was something she was unprepared for. Jade had stuck by Ellie all throughout the latter’s transition, even going behind their parents’ backs to do so, so for her to turn on Ellie had been heart-breaking. Ellie had occasionally suspected in the past that Jade’s motives for reaching out to her hadn’t been simply because she’d missed her, but because she wanted help to begin her own transition. Ellie had always dismissed such thoughts as groundless paranoia, but with Jade becoming increasingly settled in her feminine life, she wondered whether or not she had outlived her usefulness…

Regardless, it was a birthday Ellie was eager to quickly forget.

The alarm on Ellie’s phone went off at 6:45am the following morning, waking her from her fitful slumber. With a heavy sigh, the blonde girl trudged downstairs to the living room, where Janet was already awake and preparing breakfast.

“Morning,” Janet said with a gentle smile. “How are you feeling today?”

“Meh,” Ellie shrugged.

“Looking forward to going back to uni, at least?” Janet asked.

“Yeah,” Ellie replied. “We’ve got an LGBT society thing after uni so I won’t be back until late. Heh, god knows what they’d make of yesterday…”

“Well, no need to tell them, is there?” Janet retorted.

“I guess not,” Ellie shrugged. “I’m definitely telling my counsellor tomorrow, though.”

“Good,” Janet said. “I’ve, umm, I’ve got my counsellor later tonight, after work… Though I could always not tell-“

“No, no I don’t mind,” Ellie said with a smile. “She helps you, you help me, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Janet chuckled. “Though recently we’ve been mostly talking about, you know, other things…”

“SRS?” Ellie asked softly, smiling again as Janet nodded.

“Looking likely to be in the summer, after AngelCon,” Janet said. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified, heh… And god knows, at 45, it’s not like-“

“Whoa, let me stop you there,” Ellie chuckled. “I’m really not a counsellor, heh!”

“No, but you are still a friend,” Janet said with a warm smile that the younger woman reciprocated.

“A friend who’s trying to eat breakfast,” Ellie retorted as Lindsay entered the kitchen.

“Should I ask what I missed?” The 17-year-old girl asked as she poured herself a mug of coffee.

“Ehh… Better if you don’t,” Janet said, sharing a giggle with the two girls as they all ate their morning meal.

A short while later, all three women left the house, Lindsay heading to college and Ellie heading to university while Janet elegantly slid into her car, ready for the drive to work. As she made her way through the congested streets of London, Janet couldn’t help but worry about Ellie and how she was feeling after the events of the previous day. Janet had to fight her own parental instincts to call David and Sharon and give them a piece of her mind, as she knew they would turn around and accuse her of wanting to ‘keep’ Ellie for herself - and, as Janet was forced to confess yesterday, they wouldn’t be wrong…

“Hey Ellie!” Sade said with a smile as they arrived at the lecture hall and took their seats. “That was a great weekend, hehe!” Not quite, Ellie thought to herself. “Did you have fun with your family yesterday?”

“Ugh,” Ellie spat, earning a sad sigh from her friend.

“That bad?” Sade asked in a soft, sympathetic voice. “I thought things were going great with your family?”

“Yeah, well me and them have a different idea of what ‘great’ means,” Ellie sighed. “Ugh, it- never mind. Just, you know, want to get back into it, the work, like, forget all about the weekend.”

“Yeah, well, if you ever need a sympathetic ear, I’m here,” Sade said softly. “You know the shit I’ve had with my family, right?”

“Yeah,” Ellie said with a quiet chuckle as she remembered Sade’s stories of her family, particularly her older sister. “Hey Sade, if- if your family suddenly said ‘come on home, all is forgiven’, what- how, you know, like…?”

“I- I dunno, really,” Sade mused. “I mean, we left on SUCH bad terms, I- ugh. This might sound bad, I dunno, but- but I’d kinda like the relationship that you have with your parents, you know? Like, access, but not, you know, all the time…”

“Mm,” Ellie grunted, before shaking her head and sighing. “I dunno. Like I said, I just- just want to forget it, move on, like…”

“Okay,” Sade muttered as the professor arrived to begin the lecture. “Well, if you need to talk, you know where I am, right?”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered, though deep down inside, she had no intention of talking about it further, preferring instead to put it as far from her mind as possible.

When they arrived at the dining hall for lunch, however, Ellie realised that her friend had no intention of letting that happen.

“Go on, then,” Sade said as she and Ellie sat down with their meals.

“Go on… What?” Ellie asked.

“Your parents?” Sade asked softly. “You said you didn’t want to talk about it, but you know as well I do what that really means is you DO want to talk about it.” Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes in a hope to dissuade her friend, though deep down inside, she was forced to concede that Sade wasn’t wrong- though she wasn’t about to admit it.

“I do not want to talk about it,” Ellie insisted, before sighing again. “How- how are things with you and Bethany?”

“Fine, thanks for asking, and don’t change the subject,” Sade said.

“I’d rather talk about, you know, fun things,” Ellie mumbled.

“Yep, and under ordinary circumstances, so would I,” Sade said. “But you really did NOT look okay when you came in this morning.”

“…Okay, fine,” Ellie sighed. “Here’s another question for you: what would you say if your parents asked you to move back in with them? Like, said ‘you can be with whoever you want under our roof, here’s your old room’?”

“I- hmm,” Sade mused. “I’d definitely consider it, I guess.”

“Okay,” Ellie said. “Now what if they demanded that you moved back in? Like, said, ‘here’s your old room, you are now living here, no arguments’?”

“…That’d be- I dunno, really,” Sade said. “I mean, it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen, heh.”

“Yeah, I thought the same way about my parents,” Ellie sighed. “But that was my ‘main present’ yesterday, my old bedroom, every inch of it redecorated to be a proper room for ‘Ellie’. And I was expected to just move back in then and there.”

“Parents can suck sometimes,” Sade snorted. “I get why you’re pissed off, heh.”

“Even worse was Jade,” Ellie sighed. “Like, she was completely on my parents’ side, couldn’t see my side of things at all… Ugh. Best birthday ever, I’ve lost the sister I’ve only just gained.”

“Well- I can only speak as a little sister,” Sade said. “God knows I would NOT want to live under the same roof as Alicia, not for one second. But if you were my big sister? Yeah, I can kinda understand why she’d be excited by the idea. And I’m not just saying that because I think you’re cute, heh.”

“Thanks,” Ellie said with a tired chuckle. “Ugh, I dunno. Maybe I am being selfish? I-“

“No- no. N. O. Do not think like that,” Sade cautioned. “Do not let them think they’ve won. It’s your life. You have the final say. The ONLY say.”

“…Thanks,” Ellie whispered with a wide grin.

“But you’re also right, we REALLY need to talk about more fun things now, hehe!” Sade said, making her friend giggle. “Did the gorgeous Miss Abbott drop round yesterday at all?”

“No, but I kinda get why, given the circumstances,” Ellie chuckled. “She did give me a cool present though, a necklace with Angel wings on it.”

“SO cool,” Sade gushed. “Really wish Out of Heaven had done a tour this year…”

“As long as we get the fourth album this year, I’ll be happy,” Ellie said, relaxing as the conversation moved away from her family and back toward the familiar topics of music, clothes and coursework. Before they returned to their classes, though, Sade had one final thing to say, whether Ellie liked it or not.

“There’s just one more thing I want to say about- well, you know,” Sade said with a mischievous grin.

“Ugh, must you?” Ellie asked, eliciting a giggle from her friend.

“Yes,” Sade replied. “What I want to say is that you need cheering up, and the best way to do that is a big night out this weekend!”

“Umm, but we had a big night out this weekend just gone,” Ellie said.

“True,” Sade said. “But that was to celebrate, and this night out will be to cheer you up. Though under the circumstances, I… I would be okay taking ‘no’ for an answer.”

“’No’ to a night out?” Ellie snorted. “As if!” The two young women shared a giggle as they headed to their final class of the day, Ellie already feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

However, as Ellie's day drew to an end, the stress gradually returned. A night out would definitely cheer her up, as would the LGBT society meeting she was due to attend, but it wouldn’t solve the problem that faced her. As angry as she was at her parents, her talk with Sade confirmed to Ellie that as angry as she was with her family, she couldn’t afford to throw away all the progress she’d made over something that was ultimately trivial- and she certainly couldn’t afford to jeopardise her relationship with her sister over it. As she left the university campus, Ellie gazed down at her phone, and after a quick mental calculation, realised that she’d have just enough time before Janet returned home from her counsellor’s meeting. After texting Sade to let her know she wouldn’t be attending the society meeting, Ellie took a deep breath to calm her nerves before heading to the nearest tube station, and a short while later, she was stood outside her parents’ house, the presence of her mother’s car in the driveway confirming that the trip was not in vain.

“Oh- it’s you,” Jade said as she answered the door. “What do you want?” She’s not slamming the door in my face at least, Ellie thought to herself. This is a good sign…

“Can I come in?” Ellie asked softly, smiling as Jade nodded, her defences visibly falling as she was allowed into the house.

“Oh- hello,” Sharon said as Ellie entered the living room, using all her strength to keep her from hanging her head in shame, just as her mother was no doubt expecting her to do. “Have you come to apologise?” That’s a bit more like it, Ellie thought to herself as she tried to hide her disgust.

“Yes,” Ellie muttered. “But I also have something I want to say.”

“…I’m listening,” Sharon said in a curt voice.

“I’m sorry I overreacted yesterday,” Ellie said quietly.

“I didn’t hear that?” Sharon said.

“Mum!” Jade protested.

“We can keep doing things the hard way if that’s what you want,” Ellie said, biting her lip as her mother shrugged and let out a heavy sigh.

“…Okay, apology accepted,” Sharon said. “What else was it that you wanted to say?”

“I wanted to say,” Ellie replied, before taking a deep breath, “that I’m not a child anymore.”

“The tantrum you threw yesterday doesn’t agree with you,” Sharon retorted, making Ellie frown.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through the last three years,” Ellie said, trying her hardest not to shout. “Deliberately. You deliberately didn’t want to know, even after I got bottled by someone, even after I got treated for PTSD, you weren’t there. So for you to simply say ‘all is forgiven, move back in’, it- it’s insulting.”

“But- but we have forgiven you,” Sharon said.

“But that’s the point,” Ellie said. “I shouldn’t NEED to be forgiven. I never did anything wrong. I- I have to live my life the way I want. I AM an adult, whether you like it or not. And- and I have to live my life where I want, too. If you’d asked me if I wanted to move back in, I- I’d probably have thought about. I may even have said yes. But you didn’t. You told me I was moving in, ordered me around like I was still a child. Well- I’m not a child. You need to trust me to make my own decisions and I- I don’t feel like you do.”

“Well, we- we’ve never had an adult child before,” Sharon mumbled by way of explanation.

“But you do now,” Ellie said. “And you’ll have another one before too long.”

“Well- true,” Sharon conceded. “What- what do you want, Ellie? You say you don’t want to be forgiven, that you don’t to move in with us, so what exactly are you expecting from us?”

“I- I just want you to love me,” Ellie said. “And accept me, and- and trust me. Trust that, you know, I know what I want…”

“We never stopped loving you,” Sharon said. “Not really. We- we just didn’t understand…”

“But they do now,” Jade whispered, slowly approaching Ellie and giving her a gentle hug.

“I still don’t think you do,” Ellie said. “Yesterday, when I- when I left, did- did it feel like, you know, like I’d rejected you?”

“…Yes,” Sharon confessed.

“Imagine that multiple by three years, and that’s how I felt,” Ellie said. “If you even can imagine that.” Ellie bit her lip as she saw tears form in her mother’s eyes, before slowly weeping herself as the older woman leaned in for a hug, a hug that Ellie was only too happy to reciprocate.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon whispered, “I really, really am.”

“Apology accepted,” Ellie whispered. “And I- I do love the room, really. And- and I’d like to stay here sometimes, you know, not to live, but some nights, if- if that’s okay-“

“The room’s here whenever you want it,” Sharon said as Jade joined in the group hug. Ellie let out a long sigh as the tension left her body, to be replaced by a feeling of utter contentment- and a feeling that she was finally home.

As Ellie was reconciling with her family, in another part of the city, Janet was letting out a long sigh of her own as her weekly meeting with her counsellor was coming to an end.

“We’ve covered a lot of ground today,” Dr Phillips said. “I’m happy to see you’re keeping up with your SRS exercises, but I am concerned you’re putting too much pressure on yourself over the situation with Ellie.”

“Well- you’re a mother,” Janet retorted. “You must know what it’s like, worrying about your daughter?”

“All the time,” Dr Phillips confessed with a tired chuckle. “Though I trust that Sarah is intelligent enough to make the right choices, and you need to trust that Ellie will do the same.”

“…It’s hard,” Janet chuckled. “And for a second there I almost thought you were going to say ‘but you’re not really Ellie’s mother’.”

“I’d never say that, because it isn’t true,” Dr Phillips said. “For the last two and a bit years, you were Ellie’s mother, end of story, and her natal parents can never take that away from you. From both of you. But Ellie is now nineteen, she will have to have her independence soon.”

“I know,” Janet sighed. “So, the message is ‘enjoy it while it lasts’?”

“Not quite,” Dr Phillips said. “I’d say... Learn to love change as it happens, because it always will.”

“Thanks,” Janet said with a tired chuckle.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I really do need to get home, heh!” Dr Phillips said as she began to pack away her files.

“Ooh, yes, it’s your fella’s big day next month, isn’t it?” Janet asked. “How are preparations going?”

“He’s keeping very busy,” Dr Phillips said. “And he’s very nervous, but this- this really is right up Mike’s alley, and I know he’s going to do great.”

“I’m sure he will,” Janet said, exchanging a handshake with Dr Phillips before leaving the office. “See you next week!”

“Bye!” Dr Phillips said after Janet as the middle-aged woman headed out of the office and into the cold February evening.

Janet arrived home a short while later and smiled at the sight of Ellie and Lindsay curled up with their phones in their usual spots on the sofa. Things would inevitably change, as Dr Phillips had advised- even Lindsay would soon move out to seek her independence. But for the time being, Janet’s family was under one roof. Her surrogate family, at any rate…

As she entered the kitchen to prepare dinner, though, Janet got a surprise when Ellie followed her into the room seconds later.

“Hi Ellie,” Janet said. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No thanks,” Ellie replied. “I- I went to see my parents after uni. Well, my mum, my dad was still at work, but- yeah.”

“Oh,” Janet said. “Okay… Did everything go okay?”

“Yeah, we- we patched things up,” Ellie replied. “I’m not moving back, though- though I may spend the occasional night there, you know, for Jade…”

“So, you two are talking again as well?” Janet asked, smiling as Ellie nodded. “Good.”

“And we’re going out again on Saturday night,” Ellie said. “Me, Sade and a few of the others from uni.”

“You only get so much youth to enjoy, why not enjoy it?” Janet asked, smiling as Ellie giggled. “I am glad that things are working out well for you. Especially as you’ve got a great best friend in Sade as well.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Ellie mumbled.

“Hmm?” Janet said. “I thought you really liked Sade?”

“Oh- yeah, she’s cool, she really is,” Ellie replied. “But it’s just- well, you know… I think of you as my best friend. I mean, yeah, I’m only nineteen and you’re forty-whatever, and there’ll be people who’ll still think that it’s creepy, but I- you know, I can talk to you about anything, and- heh.” Ellie chuckled as Janet gave her a tight, loving hug.

“If- okay, when you do move out, keep in touch, okay?” Janet asked, eliciting another giggle from the teenager.

“Of course,” Ellie giggled. “But I- umm, it may not be for a while.”

“I dunno, I think you’ll like independence once you get a taste for it,” Janet said. “Being able to make your own decisions, having your own space… You’re definitely mature enough for it.”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered. “But I- I’m happy here.”

“So am I,” Janet replied. “The three of us- a perfect family. Mother and daughters, no matter what anyone else says.”

“Mother and daughters,” Ellie said with a wide, happy grin.

Unbeknownst to either of the women, though, was that while they were talking, Lindsay was in the living room, chatting to her brother on Facebook…

“…And that’s another week done, then!” Sade teased Ellie as they made their way out of their university campus. “Now the REAL hard work starts, heh!”

“Meh, I wouldn’t call it THAT hard,” Ellie replied with a sad smile. “Well, not PHYSICALLY hard, anyway…”

“Yeah, I get that,” Sade said softly. “But, you know, end of one era, beginning of another?”

“Yeah,” Ellie replied. “And I am looking forward to it, really, I just-“

“It’s okay, I understand,” Sade whispered, giving her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze as they headed to the nearest tube station.

A short while later, the two girls walked up the road toward the house that had been Ellie’s home for almost a year, where Ellie couldn’t help but let out a shiver at the sight of the large van parked outside- and the sight of her possessions being loaded into the back of it.

“Hi you two!” Janet said as she slid a large plastic container into the van. “End of an era, heh!”

“Yeah,” Ellie said with a grimace. “But, you know, beginning of another, right?”

“Oh, definitely,” Janet said. “And you are going to have so much fun, really. I remember when I was at uni, living away from home for the first time…” Janet smiled wistfully as she remembered being Ellie's age, with the freedom she suddenly found she had. The freedom to party all night, to spend as much time as she wanted with her friends- and, most importantly, the freedom to leave 'John' far behind her, even if only for a short while. The difference, of course, was that Ellie was free to be the girl she really was every hour of every day, and while Janet didn’t resent the young woman, she would certainly miss her a lot.

“Are- are there many boxes left?” Ellie asked in a shaky, emotional voice.

“Just a couple,” Janet replied, biting her lip as she looked her young friend in the eye. Mere seconds later, both women broke down in tears and immediately reached toward each other for a long, tight hug.

“I’m going to miss you,” Ellie whispered toward the woman who over the previous few years had been more of a parent to her than her own biological parents.

“I’ll miss you too,” Janet replied. “Your bedroom will always be here waiting for you whenever you need it. Don’t even bother asking- consider this an open, ongoing invitation.”

“Thank you,” Ellie sobbed, before sighing and laughing as the girl she considered her surrogate sister emerged from the house, all but dropping the box she was carrying as she raced over to Ellie for a hug of her own.

“Ugh, I’m gonna miss you so much…” Lindsay moaned into her friend’s shoulder.

“Any time you want to stay over, you don’t even need to ask,” Ellie said as she tried to compose herself.

“You wouldn’t need to ask me, either,” Janet said. “Now that you’re eighteen, and you’ll probably be leaving soon too…”

“Ah- no, I’ll be here for a while yet,” Lindsay chuckled. “Especially now that I know I’ll be going to uni here in London in September!”

“Nah, you’ll want your independence eventually, and probably sooner rather than later,” Janet advised. “All kids do eventually, it’s just part of life. Doesn’t make it any easier as parent though, heh.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not in my immediate future,” Lindsay said with a sad smile as she picked her box back up and loaded it into the van.

“Was that the last box?” Janet asked, biting her lip as her daughter nodded sadly. “Well- okay then, I guess it’s time.” The four women all nodded in agreement as they headed to Janet’s car, while the van drove away toward Sade and Ellie’s new home.

“Can we stop and pick up Jade along the way?” Ellie asked.

“Of course,” Janet replied. “I’m sure I can stand having four teenaged girls in my car for at least a few minutes without having an aneurysm.” The middle-aged woman smirked as the three girls all responded with eye rolls and sarcastic laughter.

“I could always drive if you want?” Lindsay asked, smirking as she saw the colour start to drain from her parent’s face.

“…Maybe another time,” Janet said in a stern but quiet voice. “Maybe.”

“So much for talking about ‘independence’, then,” Lindsay said with an overdramatic sigh that made Janet smirk, and which was a distraction Ellie very much appreciated.

A few minutes later, the car pulled up outside of Ellie’s parents’ home, and a few seconds later, Jade all but sprinted out, giggling excitedly as she slid onto the backseat alongside Sade and her sister. Ellie easily understood her excitement- after all, Jade would be welcome at the flat whenever she wanted to, which Ellie knew would be a welcome respite from her, or rather, their often overbearing and overprotective parents. Even though it was Ellie who was becoming the independent one, she was more than happy to share a tiny bit of that independence with her beloved sister. However, as they set off, Ellie couldn’t help but fidget awkwardly at the sight of their parents stood in the front doorway- after all, mere weeks earlier, Ellie had rejected their offer to move back in with them, and part of the reason was that she didn’t want to leave Janet in the lurch. And yet there she was, moving into her own flat and leaving Janet behind. The difference, however, was that Ellie was moving into her OWN place- something no one, not her parents, not even Janet could deny.

Besides which, when she’d announced her plans to her parents, they had reaffirmed their offer for her to stay with them whenever she wanted, bringing a warm feeling to Ellie’s heart. Three years earlier, she’d had no home and no family. Now she had three homes and more family than she could ever have hoped for. Ellie mused on how much her family life reflected her physical progress as well- 24 months earlier, she had been entirely anatomically and chemically male. Now, she had smoother, softer skin, a narrower waist, wider hips and small but perky breasts. She was indistinguishable from any other girl, with the exception of one thing- and that wouldn't be around for much longer either.

“Okay, everyone hop out,” Janet ordered as the car pulled up behind the removal van outside Ellie’s new flat. “I’ll go and get parked, you make a start on unloading.” Janet smirked as the four teenagers all dutifully exited the car and made their way to the van, while she drove further up the road to look for a parking space. As she trundled along the road, Janet couldn’t help but think about how quiet the car had suddenly become- and how quiet her life was going to be. Sure, she still had her work, and she had her friends- two of whom she’d be meeting for drinks later that night, as she did every Friday- but that didn’t change the fact that her life was about to irreversibly change. Janet had known all along that Ellie living with her would only be a temporary arrangement, but she hadn’t known how much of an impact the young girl would have on her life, and how much she’d grow to love her like she was one of her own. The fact that Janet did still have one of her own children living with her was some comfort, but it also reminded her that Lindsay was just as estranged from the rest of the family as she herself was- and Janet continued to blame herself for that.

“Jeez, Ellie, you- you have a LOT of shit,” Sade complained as she hauled a heavy box up the stairs into her flat.

“It’s not too much, is it?” Ellie asked cautiously. “Like, there will be room, right?”

“Oh- sure, yeah,” Sade replied. “I wasn’t complaining about you taking up space, believe me, I was complaining ‘cause I’m jealous!” Ellie grimaced as she remembered that Sade’s situation was similar to hers- forced to leave her family home with very little to her name simply because of who she was. The difference was that Sade didn’t have a ‘guardian angel’ like Janet to help her out, though Ellie was determined to help out her new flatmate in whatever way she could, no matter how small.

“This is a cool place though,” Jade said with a smile. “Know when the housewarming party will be? You are having one, right?”

“Umm, after I’ve unpacked, yeah!” Ellie replied, sighing happily as her sister began to blush. “Aww, Jade, it’s okay… I’m really looking forward to the party too, hehe!”

“So am I!” Sade giggled. “I’m so glad you agreed to move in, I know this is gonna be AWESOME, hehe!”

“It is,” Ellie said with a wide grin as she unloaded another box full of her musical instruments. “Never would’ve imagined my life would be like this three years ago, heh.”

“Yeah, I can kinda vouch for that,” Jade said with a sad smile that earned a hug from her older sister. “We’ve definitely both changed for the better, though.”

“Definitely,” Ellie confirmed.

“So’s my dad, the more I think about it,” Lindsay mused. “I mean, how many people can say they have a dad they can share make-up tips with? And he- sorry, SHE’s a lot happier now, that’s the main thing.”

“Definitely,” Ellie said.

“And I know I’m a lot happier to have friends like you three,” Lindsay said, blushing as her three friends all groaned and rolled their eyes.

“Can we leave the soppy shit until we’ve finished unloading, please?” Sade asked.

“Okay, okay,” Lindsay sighed. “It’s true, though.”

“Even more so for me,” Jade said. “For ‘obvious reasons’, heh.”

“Friends forever?” Sade suggested, earning happy giggles from the three other girls.

“Friends forever!” The four young women all cheered, their cry travelling down to where Janet was stood on the pavement below.

“Good on you, girls,” Janet whispered to herself with a warm, loving smile.

The five women spent the next hour helping Ellie unpack and get settled in, and once they were done unpacking, Jade, Lindsay and Janet said goodbye to their friend, surrogate daughter and sister, with each woman giving Ellie an extra-long hug- none longer than Janet. Ellie let out a small tear as she was left alone with her new flatmate, who consoled her with a gentle hug.

“Hey,” Sade said softly. “Do you need a minute?”

“N- no, no, I’ll be alright,” Ellie replied. “Just, you know, actually realising now that this is my home, heh. And, yes, how lucky I was to have Janet in the first place.”

“Meh, it’s not like you'll never see her again,” Sade shrugged.

“Yeah, I know,” Ellie chuckled. “And yes, I know I should be thinking about all the fun we’re going to have together!”

“Damn right!” Sade giggled. “And tonight IS Friday night… Though I think we’re both a bit tired for anything TOO noisy tonight, heh!”

“Well- yeah,” Ellie said, before giggling as Sade picked up her guitar from where Ellie had unpacked it. “Don’t tell me- you’re gonna sing ‘Living on My Own’?”

“Uh- no,” Sade replied. “As if I’d ever dare imitate King Freddie! No, I have another tune in mind…” Ellie smiled as Sade sat down and began tuning her guitar, before playing a melody she’d heard many, many times before.

“What would you say if I sang out of tune?” Sade sang in her soft contralto voice.
“Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends…”

“Gonna try with a little help from my friends…” Ellie sang along with her new flatmate, both women wearing wide grins on their faces.

“…So, I’ve now got a room going spare,” Janet chuckled as she sat at her usual table in her usual pub with Meredith and Shannon.

“It really is like the end of an era, then,” Meredith said. “And I mean, you only moved in there a few months ago, and you needed a three bedroom place because you had the two girls living with you, but now you’ve only got one girl living with you, well…” Janet smiled as her motormouthed friend gradually trailed off.

“Well, that’s what happens when kids eventually grow up,” Janet said, before smiling devilishly at her blonde friend. “Something for you to look forward to in eighteen years’ time!”

“Oh- god,” Shannon giggled nervously as she sipped her orange juice. “Don’t make me laugh, please! I’m getting through enough knickers as it is with this pregnancy…” Janet and Meredith both smiled happily as their friend rubbed her expanded mid-section.

“Just two months to go…” Janet teased her friend. “Who knows- maybe we’ll be in hospital together?”

“Oh, have- have you got a date for your operation?” Shannon asked.

“…Not yet,” Janet confessed. “But I should find out next week. Hopefully early. You’re due the 19th of July, aren’t you?”

“Well remembered!” Shannon giggled.

“You learn to remember dates when you’re a dad,” Janet said with a proud smile. “And a mum, heh!”

“My dad was always useless with dates,” Meredith said. “Five years in a row he’d get me the wrong age of birthday card, when I was five, he’d give me a card for a four year old, when I was six, he’d give me a card with five on the front, when I was seven- well, you get the idea.”

“Sorry for asking if this is a sensitive question,” Janet said hesitantly, “but is- is your dad still around?”

“Yeah,” Meredith replied with a nod. “He’s seventy next year in April, we’re planning on having a big party for him. Then a big party in December- December next year- for my big four-oh.”

“Which we will both absolutely be going to,” Janet said as Shannon blushed and grimaced.

“Well… I will if this little guy will let me,” the blonde woman chuckled as she rubbed her extended belly once again.

“Well, he’ll be what, eighteen months by then?” Janet asked. “And I know more than a few teenaged girls who wouldn’t say no to doing some babysitting for some extra pocket money…”

“Well- I’ll think about it nearer the time,” Shannon said with a nervous giggle. “If you don’t mind me asking though, Janet, why are you having the operation so soon? I mean, you haven’t been transitioning that long, have- have you?”

“Well, I have been transitioning for over two years,” Janet replied. “And that is the minimum time to- well, the minimum amount of time that needs to have passed before you can arrange the surgery. And because I’ve gone private, I can, well, ‘queue-jump’. Though I think what you mean is ‘you lived as a man for 42 years, why rush now’, am I right?”

“…Sorry…” Shannon mumbled, earning a sympathetic smile from her friend.

“It’s okay,” Janet said softly. “I don’t mind you asking questions, honestly. And to give you an answer, it’s precisely because I lived as a man for 42 years that I need to have the operation done as soon as possible. I have a lot of catching up to do.”

“How long will you have to be off work?” Meredith asked. “Because, you know, a desk job isn’t all THAT physical, it’s not like you’re stacking shelves, so maybe you could be back quicker, ‘cause Shannon’s gonna be on maternity leave for MONTHS, and I figure this is, you know, the closest that someone, umm, without a womb…”

“At least a month,” Janet replied, smiling sympathetically at her friend’s unintentional faux pas. “JB says he doesn’t want me rushing back before I’m ready, and this is work I can do from home if necessary. A better question is, of course, how long will Tesco’s newest mummy be off work?”

“I’m hoping the whole twelve months,” Shannon replied. “I’ve worked there long enough to get full maternity pay, and besides, I kinda want to spend as much time with my baby as possible, you know?”

“I get that completely,” Janet said with a warm, motherly grin. “You won’t know until your baby’s in your arms just how much it’ll change your life- and for the better.” Even when they're eighteen, Janet thought to herself. Even when they're not even technically your child...

“…Is that who I think it is?” Sade asked her flatmate as a knock came from the front door.

“Hopefully,” Ellie replied with a smug grin, which became a wide, excited smile when she opened the door and was greeted by a long, deep kiss from her boyfriend.

“Hey babe,” the tall young man said with an excited giggle. “Hey Sade!”

“Hey Oli,” Sade replied with a mock exasperated sigh. “Moved in less than two hours and already you’re bringing boys home?”

“No, not ‘boys’,” Ellie retorted with a snort. “Just this one!” Despite her pretend frustration, Sade couldn’t help but giggle at the sickly-sweet voice her flatmate used- and the hand that she slipped into her boyfriend’s rear jeans pocket.

“Ah, fair enough, then,” Sade chuckled. “You two get a pass for being cute, hehe!”

“Another advantage of having my own place is- well, being able to ‘have’ Oli whenever I want,” Ellie said as she sat down and snuggled up next to her boyfriend. “Janet was SO old-fashioned about that. Though not as bad as my other parents were, that’s for damn sure.”

“Well, I’ve probably got you beaten there,” Sade sighed. “Not that it’s a competition or anything, heh.”

“Ah- yeah…” Ellie grimaced. “Sorry if I’m, you know, rubbing it in your face or anything…”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Sade said with a smile. “There’s bound to be a girl out there for me somewhere, heh. And I’m more likely to find her in London than in Suffolk, that’s for sure!”

“Even more likely if you throw a flat warming party,” Oli said, smirking as Sade rolled her eyes at him, before pausing.

“Well…” Sade said with a grin. “I suppose it’s not the worst idea, hehe!”

“Tomorrow?” Ellie suggested. “After work?”

“Sounds good to me!” Sade giggled. “That just leaves what we’re going to do tonight, then. I mean, I WOULD have liked some time to get to know my new flatmate a bit better…”

“Ah- okay,” Oli said as he fidgeted awkwardly in his seat. “Though in fairness, me and Ell have only been going out a few weeks, so technically you already know her better than me.” Despite herself, Sade couldn’t help but giggle at Oli’s bravado.

“It’s okay, I was only kidding,” Sade reassured the young man. “And I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to get an early night either, hehe!”

“Well… Maybe not THIS early,” Ellie giggled as she reached for the TV remote before snuggling back into her boyfriend’s arms, where she stayed for the rest of the evening, happy in the knowledge that despite their differences, her flatmate and her boyfriend got along well- another thing Ellie considered to be a vast improvement to her life.

Ellie woke up the following morning still wrapped in the arms of her boyfriend, her body still tingling from the sensations they shared the previous night. As she opened her eyes, she was briefly confused by the unfamiliar surroundings, before remembering that she was in her room- not 'her room at Janet's house, but HER room, in HER own place. Ellie grinned as the knowledge of her new independence came back to her- even if she was a little sad that she wouldn't see Janet's face when she entered the living room.

“Urf,” Oli moaned as Ellie unwrapped herself from his embrace. “Babe? What time is it?”

“Ugh, too early,” Ellie replied as she pulled on a clean bra and matching thong. “But I’ve got to be at work, and- well, yeah…”

“Eh, okay,” Oli said with a disappointed sigh. “I should probably get moving too, I start work at 10:30.”

“While I start at 9, you lazy sod,” Ellie teased her boyfriend, giggling as he rolled his eyes and laid back down.

“Really?” Oli asked. “You’re calling me lazy after THAT night we just had?”

“…Maybe not the best choice of words,” Ellie said, giggling happily as she gave her boyfriend a quick kiss before sitting down to apply her make-up.

“Speaking of,” Oli said, “aren’t you going to shower before work?”

“Are you saying I smell?” Ellie asked with a mock-offended pout that quickly changed into a smirk.

“No, you know I like the way you smell,” Oli replied. “Especially after last night, heh. Not sure your customers would like it as much as me, though?”

“Meh, well, they’ll have to live with it,” Ellie shrugged. “Now that I actually have to pay the water bills, me and Sade are kinda taking it in turns, showering every other day, you know?”

“No room for me in there, then?” Oli asked, smirking as Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Maybe when it’s my turn in the shower, we can share,” Ellie teased. “When I don’t have to shave my face, anyway…” Ellie paused as she saw her boyfriend trying not to grimace in the mirror.

“Meh, that’s just the way it is,” Oli shrugged, making Ellie grin once again.

“Ah, I definitely picked the right boyfriend, hehe!” Ellie giggled as she leaned over to give Oli a kiss, before pulling on the stylish top and short skirt that made up her unofficial work 'uniform'. “You want any breakfast, or shall we get it along the way?”

“Nah, I’ll make some,” Oli replied, getting out of bed and pulling on his boxer shorts and t-shirt from the previous night before heading out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen.

“Oh- babe, you don’t have to do that, really,” Ellie protested.

“Nah, I want to,” Oli replied. “Now that you’re this ultra-independent woman, I want to do something to not, you know, feel like a child anymore?”

“Oh, you more than did THAT last night!” Ellie giggled. “But thanks.” Ellie grinned widely as she followed her boyfriend to the kitchen, where he prepared a filling breakfast of toast and eggs for them both. As she ate, Ellie mused on her boyfriend’s words, on how in a very short space of time, she had gone from being a girl completely dependent on others for support to being an independent woman with all the freedom she wanted, albeit with all the responsibilities that came with that freedom. However, Ellie didn’t mind having to pay a water bill if it meant that she could wake up next to her boyfriend whenever she wanted- and she definitely didn’t mind the extra responsibilities if it meant that she could throw parties whenever she wanted. It was a 'new normal' Ellie was eager to adapt to- almost as eager as she was to adapt to the 'new normal' of simply living as Ellie.

Later that evening, after a quick dinner, Ellie headed through to her bedroom to change out of her work clothes into a tight, long-sleeved and very short purple party dress, before applying a thicker layer of make-up, including thick, dark eyeshadow and eyeliner, blood red lipstick and a cloud of sweet-smelling perfume. Ellie then coated and recoated her fingernails in dark red polish, before slipping her feet into a pair of very uncomfortable, but more importantly to Ellie, very sexy pair of shoes with 4” stiletto heels. With her look complete, Ellie headed out into the living room of the flat, where her flatmate cooed in approval of Ellie’s look.

“Hubba hubba, Miss Blake!” Sade teased.

“Thank you,” Ellie said with a smug grin as she did a slow twirl for her friend.

“I still say it’s a pity that you’re straight,” Sade chuckled. “And impossible that you were ever a boy!”

“I won’t comment on the first thing,” Ellie giggled. “As for the second thing… You might be right, hehe! Ahh, it feels like every day, you know? I leave ‘Liam’ further and further behind…”

“Well, good riddance to ‘him’,” Sade chuckled as Ellie eagerly nodded in agreement. “Though I am gonna need to up my game for tonight!”

“I was about to say,” Ellie teased. “You’re really gonna wear jeans and a t-shirt to the party?”

“HELL no,” Sade replied. “Half the LGBT society’s coming and a lot of them are single!” Ellie grinned as her friend rushed to her bedroom, but after Sade had gone, Ellie found herself musing on her flatmate’s compliment.

Ellie may have been a few months away from being able to apply for her gender recognition certificate, but to her it truly did feel that no matter what anyone else said, she had never been male. The more she thought about her life as ‘Liam’, the more it felt like a dream- a nightmare even, that she only woke up from when she declared herself as ‘Ellie’ to the rest of the world. And while her journey had had more than its fair share of bumps, some of them huge, she took pride from the fact that she never looked back, never felt the urge to go back to being ‘Liam’ and hiding herself away from the world. She had earned the right to be the woman she wanted, she had earned her independence, she had earned an attractive, caring boyfriend and she had definitely earned all of her friends- many of whom descended on her flat shortly after the clock ticked over to 7pm.

“Hey Ell!” Lindsay said, greeting her former housemate with a long, tight hug as she entered the flat carrying a heavy-looking shopping bag. “Looking hot tonight Miss Blake!”

“You too, Miss Cole!” Ellie giggled as Lindsay did a twirl to show off her long-sleeved red minidress. “You flying solo tonight, then?”

“Meh, I- I invited over a friend, he might be here later,” Lindsay replied, confusing Ellie as she fidgeted awkwardly. “How many are you expecting?”

“Well, I invited most of the LGBT society,” Ellie said with a smug grin. “So yes, there’ll be plenty of boys coming, and yes, some of them will be interested in girls, hehe! Unless this friend you’re inviting is a new boyfriend…?”

“Ah- no, no, we- we’re just friends,” Lindsay giggled as she helped herself to a bottle of beer. “You’re settling in okay, then?”

“WAY more than just ‘okay’!” Ellie giggled. “I mean, yes, I miss Janet, but- but this is MY place, you know?”

“Half yours, anyway,” Sade said as she emerged from her bedroom and gave the newly arrived girl a gentle hug. “Ugh, typical, I’m surrounded by sexy women who are only interested in BOYS!”

“Meh, someone has to keep them company,” Lindsay said, earning a giggle from her two friends. “What happened with you and Bethany anyway?”

“Meh, it just kinda fizzled out,” Sade shrugged. “It happens. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet a girl tonight?”

“Well, you’ve definitely increased your chances by wearing that!” Ellie teased her flatmate, who replied by giggling and showing off the extra short playsuit and shiny black tights she’d chosen for the evening.

“Mm,” Sade mumbled in agreement. “Tonight’s not about me, though, is it?”

“Meh, it’s your flat too,” Ellie shrugged as wicked grins spread across her friends’ faces. “…What?”

“We kinda- kinda got you something for tonight,” Lindsay said as she opened her carrier bag to reveal that beer wasn’t the only thing contained within.

“Oh- come on…” Ellie protested as her friends withdrew from the bag a sparkly plastic tiara and a sash made from a shiny fabric that had the words ‘Miss Independent’ written on the front. Her protests continued but were ignored as Lindsay and Sade all but forced the items onto her head and her body. “I feel stupid…”

“Oh, come on,” Lindsay protested. “It’s just a bit of fun, isn’t it?”

“And if anyone here is a beauty queen, it’s you!” Sade teased her flatmate, who sighed and adjusted her tiara before posing as her friends got their phones out to photograph her.

“Well- thanks,” Ellie giggled as she pulled more poses for the cameras. “And as your queen, I hereby declare that this party has started, and shall be very loud and very fun!”

“Yeah!” Lindsay and Sade cheered as they turned on the stereo and opened the first bottle of wine.

The partygoers started arriving a short while later, and before long, the flat was heaving as over a dozen boys and girls drank, danced and had fun- and the guests hadn't stopped arriving.

“Hey Ellie!” Ellie’s friend Ian said in his distinctive Welsh accent. “Or should that be ’your majesty’?”

“Funny man,” Ellie replied as she straightened her sash and took Ian’s bag of drinks from him. “Thanks for coming, though.”

“Meh, I’m not gonna turn down a party, heh!” Ian replied with a smile, though Ellie quickly detected the sadness in her friend’s eyes.

“Still missing Chloe?” Ellie asked.

“Meh, a little,” Ian shrugged. “Maybe. But she made it clear what she thinks, heh. Don’t suppose there are any single straight girls here tonight, are they?”

“I’ll try not to take offence at that,” Sade teased as she greeted Ian with a hug. “Have you met Lindsay before?”

“Don't think so!” Ian replied with a grin as Sade led him away. Ellie didn’t have to wait long for the next partygoer to arrive, though- and her smile widened when she saw who it was.

“Hey you!” Ellie giggled as her boyfriend greeted her with a gentle kiss.

“Hey Ellie- sorry, your majesty,” Oli said, dramatically bowing before his girlfriend as she rolled her eyes.

“I am going to kill Sade and Lindsay for this,” Ellie sighed.

“Nah, it suits you,” Oli said as he fiddled with Ellie’s tiara.

“Hands off!” Ellie protested with a giggle. “You’ll break it…”

“Ah, so you DO want to be a queen, then?” Oli asked, smirking as his girlfriend rolled her eyes.

“…Fine, then,” Ellie sighed, before waving her empty beer bottle at her boyfriend. “And as queen, I royally command you to get me another drink!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Oli said with a salute that made Ellie giggle as another knock came from the front door. When Ellie opened the door, however, her smile instantly vanished.

Stood in the doorway, large as life, was the unmistakable face of Ethan Cole. Ellie hadn’t seen the young man in the flesh since his sentencing almost two years earlier, but his face had haunted her nightmares countless times since then, and the sight of his brown eyes staring into hers caused every muscle in Ellie’s body to tense up, freezing her to the spot as time seemed to stand still. Unable to move even an inch, Ellie did the only thing she could in the circumstances- she screamed. She screamed long enough and loud enough to bring the entire party to a halt, and only stopped when her boyfriend placed a comforting hand on her shoulder- though even that touch was enough to make Ellie flinch.

“What’s up, babe?” Oli asked. “Who’s this?”

“H- hi,” Ethan said with a hesitant wave, trembling nervously as the entire flat turned to stare at him. “Is Lind- umm, Lindsay- Lindsay said, umm…”

“I- I invited him,” Lindsay said, stepping between Ellie and her brother and taking a nervous, shaky breath. “Ellie, he- he wants to apologise.”

“How do- have you- have you been talking to him?” Ellie asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.

“And isn’t there a restraining order in place too?” Sade asked as she stood at her flatmate’s side.

“He just- he just wants to apologise,” Lindsay said. “We- we have been talking, yes. He- he’s feels really bad, and-“ Lindsay’s explanation ended abruptly when Ellie slapped her across the face, the sound of the slap seeming to echo in the now-silent flat. Ellie and Lindsay stared at each other in shock as time once again seemed to stand still, before the latter girl just sighed and shook her head, leaving the party alongside her brother.

“…Party’s over,” Ellie mumbled as she felt her stomach churn and her legs start to buckle. “I said party’s over! Everybody- please, just- just leave.”

“You heard the woman,” Sade said as she started escorting the guests to the door. “Thank you for coming, but now it’s time to go.”

“You too,” Ellie whispered to her boyfriend. “I- I need to be alone tonight.”

“Oh, but babe, you- you shouldn’t be alone,” Oli protested.

“She’ll be fine, I’ll be here,” Sade said softly. “Go on.”

“Well- okay,” Oli said, leaning in to give Ellie a kiss goodbye only to frown in confusion as she reflexively pulled back away from him. “I’ll, umm, I’ll- I’ll get going, then…”

“Bye,” Ellie mumbled, her cheeks flushing as every pair of eyes turned in her direction on their way out of the flat. Once everyone bar Sade had left, Ellie felt tears start to trickle down her cheeks, and before long, the tears began to gush, Ellie making anguished sobs and struggling to catch her breath with how hard she was crying.

“Ell- Ellie,” Sade whispered, handing the blonde girl a handful of kitchen roll to mop up her tears. “Would- would you like me to go as well?”

“No,” Ellie sobbed. “I- I can’t kick you out of your flat, and I- I-“

“You don’t want to be alone?” Sade asked, smiling as her flatmate tearfully nodded. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I- I’m sorry I ruined the party…” Ellie blubbed, earning an angry groan from her friend.

“YOU didn’t ruin anything!” Sade admonished her friend. “It was that tall bastard! He- he was the one you told me about, right?”

“Yes,” Ellie whispered. “Lindsay’s brother. Janet’s son.”

“It’s hard to believe how anyone like him can come from someone as sweet and caring as Janet,” Sade snorted. “As for Lindsay- ugh, I dunno what to think.”

“She’s a bitch,” Ellie spat, her despair slowly giving way to a feeling of intense anger and hatred. “She invited him here knowing- ugh. I hope they both get run over on the way home.”

“…But harsh, but okay,” Sade said, flinching as Ellie stared angrily at her. “Okay… You- you should get an early night. Sleep this off, see how you are tomorrow. Don’t worry about tidying up, I’ll do all that, you just- you just get yourself to bed, okay?”

“Okay,” Ellie said, before smiling sadly. “Thanks, Sade. You- you’re a great flatmate, and a great friend.” Unlike that bitch Lindsay, Ellie sadly thought to herself.

“It’s what friends do,” Sade shrugged.

“Most of them,” Ellie whispered as she headed to her bedroom, making the other girl pause and frown.

“I- I’m not going to defend Lindsay,” Sade said quietly.

“Good,” Ellie angrily snorted.

“But- but she probably had a reason for doing what she did,” Sade said. “You- ugh, never mind, just- just get some sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” Ellie whispered, barely containing her anger as she closed her bedroom door behind her, before slumping to the floor and weeping yet more tears, tears of sadness at the thought of losing someone who had become one of her best friends, tears of anger at being betrayed by said friend, and tears of fear- fear at who might be the next to stab her in the back.

What angered and saddened Ellie the most, though, was that it wasn’t like Lindsay had made an honest mistake- she knew how much Ellie hated Ethan. She knew the trauma Ellie had gone through following the assault. She knew the nightmares Ellie had had to endure, and most of all, she knew that Ethan legally couldn’t come anywhere near Ellie. What he had done had left lasting scars, both mentally and physically. Through her darkest days, Ellie had always been able to hold on to her hatred of Ethan to pull her through. She would never be able to forget what he did or forgive him for doing it, and Lindsay clearly expected her to- after all, why else would she bring Ethan to her flat?

That question, along with countless others, tormented Ellie’s mind as she tried unsuccessfully to get to sleep that night. Every time she felt herself drifting off, she kept seeing Ethan’s face in her mind’s eye, the look in his eyes as she opened the door, the look of shock on Lindsay’s face as Ellie slapped her, the sound of the slap, the sound of Ellie’s own scream… The sound of glass breaking over the back of Ellie’s skull…

Ellie’s half-asleep, half-awake state continued until long after the sun had risen on the warm Sunday morning, and despite her extreme tiredness, she was still unable to fall asleep. Shortly after 9am, Ellie eventually gave up and rose from her bed, sighing as she passed her reflection in her mirror. She hadn’t bothered to remove the previous night’s make-up before heading to bed, nor had she brushed her hair, meaning that she looked a complete mess- her cheeks were streaked with mascara, her face was blotchy and her long blonde hair was straggly and matted. And worst of all, for the first time in a very long time, Ellie could see traces of ‘Liam’ peeking through the cracks in the mask…

When Ellie exited her bedroom, she was unsurprised to discover that Sade was already awake and making breakfast. She was slightly more surprised to discover that Janet was also sat in her living room, drinking a cup of coffee. She was, however, astonished at the other face smiling at her from her sofa.

“Hi Ellie,” Stephanie said softly, before smiling sympathetically as Ellie started to panic at her dishevelled state.

“Oh- um, hi, um- just- I just need-“ Ellie babbled.

“It’s okay, really,” Stephanie insisted. “Sit down, Ellie, I’ve seen much worse bedheads. Mostly from myself, heh!”

“Well- umm, okay…” Ellie said, grimacing as she carefully lowered herself onto a seat opposite her older friends. “You- I take it you- you heard about last night, then?”

“Yes,” Janet whispered quietly. “Ellie, I- I want you to know I had no idea what Lindsay was planning, and if I did, I would have tried to stop it. Lindsay’s my daughter, and I love her very, very much, but she- she can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. And last night was a huge example of that.” Janet paused and took a deep breath before continuing- she knew that Ellie would not like what she had to say next. “She genuinely didn’t want to hurt you, Ellie. She thought she would be doing a good thing, she thought she’d be helping you by bringing Ethan to the party.”

“She did-“ Ellie angrily snapped, before being silenced by a hand from the woman she viewed as a surrogate mother.

“Like I said, she can be an idiot,” Janet said. “And she knows it. She came home last night and spent most of the rest of the night crying. Not because of what happened between you and Ethan, but because of what happened between you and her. You- umm, Sade tells me that you- that you slapped Lindsay. Is this right?”

“…Maybe,” Ellie mumbled, her cheeks starting to flush with shame. “Yes…”

“Lindsay didn’t tell me that at all,” Janet said softly. “I think that’s because she thinks she deserved it. Obviously, I’m not going to be happy that someone struck my daughter. But Lindsay, she- she’s just ignoring it, completely disregarding it, so in this case, even though you know I hate violence, I can too.”

“On the topic of ‘violence’,” Ellie mumbled, “did you know Lindsay’s been talking to Ethan?”

“I only found that out last night too,” Janet whispered. “And I- I can’t blame her for it. Despite what he did, he’s still her brother.” Janet paused and grimaced as Ellie angrily scoffed- if Ellie had been upset before, she would be ballistic at what Janet had to say next. However, the truth needed to come out. “…And he’s still my son.”

“He doesn’t think so!” Ellie angrily spat, making both Janet and Stephanie fidget in their seats.

“Two years ago, I’d have agreed with you,” Janet said quietly. “But last night…” Janet bit her lip as she remembered the events of the previous night.

“You’re back early,” Janet had said as the front door of the house opened. “Did you have fun at the par- Li- Lindsay?” Janet jumped to her feet as she saw her daughter’s tear-streaked face and rushed over to give her a long, comforting hug. “What happened?”

“Me and Ellie, we- we had a fight,” Lindsay sobbed.

“Oh, god, Lindsay…” Janet moaned. “What about?”

“A- about me,” Ethan mumbled as he entered the house, causing Janet to freeze in shock. Like Ellie, she hadn’t seen Ethan since 2017, and had all but given up hope on ever speaking to him again. With tears starting to trickle from her eyes, Janet released Lindsay from her hug and opened up her arms for her son, both openly weeping as Ethan accepted her embrace.

“I- I’m sorry,” Ethan blubbed into his father’s shoulder.

“Shh, shh,” Janet whispered, savouring every second of once again holding her son in her arms, just as she'd first done over twenty years earlier. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“…But I was wrong,” Janet explained to Ellie. “He DID need to apologise. To me, and especially to you. Every day that’s passed, he’s felt more and more guilty about what happened.”

“Good,” Ellie spat, before fidgeting as Janet frowned. “I- well, I guess I’m sorry too, but I can’t help how I feel about him. I HATE him. And I can’t ever forgive him.”

“And I’m not ever going to ask you to,” Janet said. “Because I- I felt guilty too. I was so happy at seeing my son again that I- I didn’t realise at first that I was betraying you. Over the last two years, you have become as much my child as Ethan or Lindsay. I love you, Ellie. And I- I’m sorry.”

“No- no,” Ellie sighed. “You don’t ever need to apologise, Janet. What you’ve done for me, I- I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Both of you.”

“Thanks,” Stephanie whispered. “But I can only take a very, very small bit of the credit here, heh.”

“More than you think,” Janet said. “Because I wouldn’t be here either if it wasn’t for you and Ellie. I certainly wouldn’t have my children back, either.” Janet bit her lip as Ellie frowned again, though she hoped that the young woman at least understood the impossible position she was in. “One day, Ellie, you’ll be a mother as well. And don’t say our ‘situation’ makes it impossible, because it really, really doesn’t.”

“Me being sterile kinda does, though,” Ellie retorted.

“Your future husband won’t be,” Stephanie shrugged.

“And I’ll happily lend you an egg or two,” Sade said with a warm smile as she sat down next to Janet on the arm of the sofa. “might even lend you somewhere to, you know, put it, if you want?”

“Aww- you guys- sorry, you girls!” Ellie giggled.

“And I know Lindsay would make that same offer too,” Janet said, immediately bringing Ellie’s mood back down again. “Ellie, she- she feels genuinely terrible about what happened. I don’t think she slept much tonight, and she wanted to come and apologise in person, but I- I said that wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“And you were right,” Ellie said, before sighing. “Though… Ugh, I dunno. Okay, so she thought she was doing the right thing. It was still shitty, though. But… Okay, I get that she didn’t really want to hurt me. And I- I wish I hadn’t slapped her, but- ugh, I dunno.”

“If- if she was here, right now?” Janet asked, biting her lip as Ellie sighed.

“I- I dunno,” Ellie replied. “Maybe I’d accept her apology, I- ugh. Is she outside in the car, then?”

“No, she’s still at home,” Janet replied. “But I can go and pick her up if you’d like?”

“…Okay,” Ellie replied, sighing as Janet smiled.

“I’ll be right back,” Janet said as she left Ellie alone in the flat with the two younger women.

“…Okay, so it’s Sunday morning, and Steph Abbott’s in my flat,” Sade said, making the other two women giggle- a feeling that felt particularly good to Ellie under the circumstances.

“I was going to drop round yesterday, to give you this,” Stephanie said, handing a small, carefully wrapped gift to Ellie. “As, like, a housewarming present, but I got kinda side-tracked, had a really busy week, heh. Then Janet called and explained what happened, so I thought, you know, I’d kill two birds with one stone, sort of thing.”

“Are you- are you and Kayla getting along okay, then?” Sade asked.

“Everything there’s going great,” Stephanie replied. “I’m surprised by how quiet it’s been actually, after all the fuss when we first came out, but- yeah. Maybe the universe is giving us a much-needed break, heh.”

“But you just said you had a busy week?” Ellie asked.

“Oh- definitely,” Stephanie replied. “But not, you know, stressful- the fun kind of ‘busy’, heh. Let's see... First there's Jamie and Stuart's wedding anniversary, that was Monday. Then Natalie and Zoe's engagement anniversary on Wednesday. Thursday was the anniversary of Nikki coming out to her parents, which we always make a big fuss of, and Friday was my little niece’s second birthday, so we had a big family get-together for that. And tonight is Charlotte Hartley’s birthday, so- yeah, busy week!”

“Ahh, I’m SO jealous though!” Sade sighed. “All we’ve got this week and next week is uni, heh.”

“And…?” Ellie teased, making her flatmate sigh and Stephanie smirk with confusion.

“…And my birthday this coming Friday,” Sade replied, earning an excited squeak from the famous singer.

“Oh, so cool!” Stephanie giggled. “Nineteen?”

“Yep,” Sade replied.

“Ah, SO cool,” Stephanie chuckled. “You celebrating it with your family?” The famous singer paused and frown in confusion as both of her young friends frowned, Sade in particular, averted their gaze. “…What? Did- did I say something I shouldn’t have?”

“Yeah, umm, I- I kinda don’t talk to my family much…” Sade grimaced.

“Oh,” Stephanie mumbled. “Umm, sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Sade shrugged. “And yes, it’s all because I’m G-A-Y. My parents told me that I was no longer welcome under their roof, and as for my sister- ugh. Just- ugh. That’s all I have to say about her.”

“That’s such a pity,” Stephanie sighed sadly.

“Meh, I’m better off without them,” Sade shrugged. “I much prefer the family I do have, the family I chose, heh!”

“D’aww,” Stephanie and Ellie simultaneously cooed.

“Plus, I reckon I can get, like, five albums worth of material out of my family, heh!” Sade chuckled.

“Ah, of course, you’re studying music as well, aren’t you?” Stephanie asked. “As I said earlier, Ellie's told me all about you. Have you written any songs of your own yet?”

“Ah- umm, may- maybe, umm, maybe a few…” Sade mumbled, her cheeks quickly reddening.

“Can you sing me some?” Stephanie asked as Ellie started to giggle excitedly.

“Oh- come on…” Sade protested. “I can’t believe Stephanie Abbott wants to listen to MY songs…”

“Call it an early birthday present,” Stephanie shrugged. “If I like what I hear, I’ll have a word with my producer Stuart, see if we can’t get a few recorded professionally?”

“Go on…” Ellie teased, making her flatmate roll her eyes as she fetched her guitar.

“Well- fine…” Sade sighed as she tuned her guitar. “This is still surreal…”

Ellie and Stephanie sat back and relaxed as they were treated to their impromptu gig, Ellie in particular feeling her stress melt away a little more with every song Sade sang. However, it all came rushing back when Janet returned to the flat a few minutes later with a very ashamed-looking Lindsay trailing behind her.

“H- hello,” Ellie said nervously as Lindsay stepped forward, her cheeks flushed and her head hung low.

“Hi,” Lindsay mumbled. “Ellie- I- I’m sorry…”

“Louder,” Janet said stoically.

“I’m sorry, I- I wasn’t thinking,” Lindsay said more clearly as tears started to trickle from her eyes. “I just thought- I thought if, you know, after all this time-“ Lindsay flinched as Ellie suddenly stood up and approached her. However, rather than another slap, the blonde girl gave Lindsay a long, tight hug, which Lindsay happily reciprocated.

“Apology accepted,” Ellie whispered. “And I- I’m sorry I slapped you.”

“Meh,” Lindsay shrugged. “Not the first time that’s happened, heh. Though usually my brother’s NOT the boy that caused it, heh.”

“Yeah- umm…” Ellie said, tensing up at the mere mention of Ethan. “I- I can’t forgive your brother, Lindsay. Not ever.”

“Meh, I figured as much,” Lindsay sighed as she Ellie sat back down together. “I- I don’t want to break off contact with him, though.”

“Meh, okay,” Ellie mumbled with a shrug. “He’s your brother, I guess. But I- I don’t want anything to do with him, ever. Even if he is genuinely sorry.”

“He is,” Lindsay whispered, before sighing. “And okay, I won’t push it. I really like being your friend, you know? Even if we don’t live together anymore, heh.”

“Well, you’re welcome around here anytime,” Sade said softly. “Only you, though.”

“Well- that’s absolutely fair,” Lindsay sighed. “As long as we’re still friends?”

“…Friends,” Ellie said, leaning in to go Lindsay a gentle hug. “You can never have too many of them, heh!”

“Too right,” Janet said with a proud, motherly smile.

“You still owe me the second half of a party, though,” Ellie teased, earning a giggle from Lindsay.

“…Sleepover at my place next Friday?” Lindsay suggested.

“You’re gonna have problems throwing that party when you’re coming to my birthday party next Friday,” Sade said, earning another giggle from Lindsay, this time one of excitement. “And that’s not an invitation, that’s a demand.”

“Well- demand accepted, heh!” Lindsay giggled.

“That goes for you too, Steph,” Sade said, before grimacing. “Umm, I- I mean the invitation, not the demand, unless- in case, umm, you-“

“I’ll try to drop round,” Stephanie said with a grin. “Though I do think you three could use a quieter party just to yourselves, like a sleepover.”

“Well- and Jade too,” Ellie said to unanimous agreement. “And Jodie and Keira too, Monique and Kacey if they’re available…”

“How about the Saturday after?” Janet suggested. “I can clear off somewhere, let you have the house to yourselves.”

“Where would you go, though?” Ellie asked.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll work something out,” Janet reassured the young woman. “Hell, if this place will be empty, I can always sleep here. I can give this place a good clean while I’m at it too!”

“That sounds like it’s decided, then,” Stephanie said with a grin. “I should probably leave you four to get on with it, I’ve still got a long day ahead, heh!”

“Thank you for all your help,” Ellie said, standing up and giving the famous singer a gentle hug. “And I don’t just mean today, I mean, like, forever.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Stephanie chuckled. “And you three take care of Janet, okay?”

“Yes, very funny,” Janet chuckled as she stood up and gave her friend a gentle hug as well. “And thank you as well, from me, for everything you’ve done. Not only do I feel like I now have three daughters, now I- I’m not estranged from my son either.” Janet grimaced as Ellie flinched at the mention of Ethan, but breathed a sigh of relief when she simply shrugged and mouthed ‘it’s okay’ at the older woman.

“Have you still given up on talking to your wife again?” Stephanie asked quietly.

“Ex-wife,” Janet corrected her friend. “And- ugh, I dunno. The ‘ex’ part is pretty much set in stone now. Though I doubt she’ll ignore me forever, she doesn’t know that Ethan’s contacted me or Lindsay again, so- well, I dunno. That’s a story for another time, heh. You get yourself home to that girlfriend of yours, okay?”

“Okay,” Stephanie replied, smiling as she straightened her knee-high boots and grabbed her designer handbag.

“Actually,” Sade sad hesitantly. “Before you go, can- can I just ask one favour, please? You won’t have to do much, just-“

“Sure, what is it?” Stephanie asked, sitting back down again.

“I- ugh,” Sade sighed, her cheeks starting to flush with embarrassment. “All this talk of families reuniting, I- I-“

“Ah, I’m so sorry, Sade,” Janet sighed. “I should’ve known not to rub it in your face like that.”

“No- no, I’m not upset that you guys are sorting things out,” Sade said. “I just- I just want to try with my family, you know?”

“I get it,” Stephanie said softly. “And you want some back-up?”

“Yeah,” Sade said with a quiet nod. “And I know, I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but-“

“You’d regret it if you didn’t at least try?” Stephanie asked, smiling as the younger woman nodded. “That’s a field I have a lot of experience in too, heh. And had my fair share of ups and downs too, but I do still believe that you only regret the things you don’t do.”

“Do- do you want us to stay too?” Janet asked, smiling as Sade nodded.

“The more the merrier,” Sade shrugged as she picked her phone off the coffee table and paused. “I- I’m going to try calling my sister first, before my parents.”

“I thought you said you hated your sister?” Ellie asked. “That she was a bully to you growing up?”

“Oh- totally, she was,” Sade replied. “But also, she’s, like, 22, and-“

“And more likely to care that I’m on the call?” Stephanie asked, smiling as Sade nodded.

“And if you don’t reconcile, you can at least gloat?” Lindsay asked, smirking as Sade nodded again.

“Well- here goes,” Sade sighed, dialling the number on her phone before placing it down on the coffee table. The phone only rang twice before being answered, causing Sade to take a deep, nervous breath.

“Hello?” A soft East Anglia accent called from the phone’s speaker. “Who is this?”

“Hi Alicia,” Sade said in a confident-sounding voice that nonetheless betrayed her nerves. “This is your sister, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Ugh, what do you want?” Alicia snorted. “Calling to apologise maybe? To admit that I was right and you were wrong?”

“Wow,” Ellie whispered, before grimacing as she realised how sensitive the microphone on Sade’s phone actually was.

“Who was that?” Alicia asked.

“Oh, just a friend,” Sade replied.

“Don’t be stupid,” Alicia spat. “You don’t have any friends!”

“Well, you were definitely right about her,” Stephanie said out loud, sharing a smirk with Sade as the latter’s sister suddenly fell silent.

“…Who was that?” Alicia asked. “I- I recognise that voice from somewhere…”

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” Stephanie said smugly. “My name’s Stephanie Abbott, I’m one quarter of Out of Heaven, maybe you know me from there?”

“…Yeah, right,” Alicia snorted. “As if YOU know anyone from Out of Heaven!” Stephanie rolled her eyes and got her phone out of her bag while Sade sighed with frustration.

“You know, I did call because I wanted to try to patch things up between us,” Sade said. “I thought that maybe, you know, things might have changed, that we could be friends- heh, well maybe not friends ‘again’, but maybe for a first time? How are mum and dad, anyway?”

“Happier now that you’re not around,” Alicia spat, before a beep came from her phone. “And this is a total waste of my time. Call me again when you’re in a mood to apologise, okay?” Sade rolled her eyes as the call ended, before letting out a long moan as she slumped back in her chair.

“Don’t- don’t take it too hard,” Janet said softly.

“Yeah,” Lindsay whispered. “Sounds like you’re better off without her, heh.”

“And that was her on a good day, believe it or not,” Sade sighed. “Just- just completely unable to accept that I- ugh, I dunno.” Sade let out another sigh, but then jumped with chock as her phone suddenly started ringing- and it was her sister’s number that was displayed on the screen. “Umm… What?”

“Are you going to answer it?” Stephanie asked with a knowing smirk. Sade frowned with confusion as she gingerly pressed the ‘answer’ button.

“He- hello?” Sade nervously asked.

“H- hi Sade,” Alicia said in a much more subdued voice than before. “I, umm, I got your text.”

“What text?” Sade asked, her eyes widening as Stephanie showed her the screen of her own phone, on which was a selfie of the famous singer with Sade herself in the background. “…Oh. THAT text.”

“Y- yeah,” Alicia said, audibly straining to get her words out. “Are- are we still on speakerphone?” As if on cue, Sade reached for her phone and immediately switched off the speakerphone.

“Not anymore, we’re not,” Sade said as the three guests in the flat slowly stood up.

“We’ll leave you to it,” Stephanie whispered with a grin as she escorted Janet and Lindsay out of the flat. “Have fun on Friday if I don’t see you then!”

“Thanks,” Sade mouthed as she took her phone into the kitchen.

“I’ll jump in the shower, give you some privacy too,” Ellie said, smiling as her flatmate tearfully nodded.

As she showered, Ellie let out a long, contented sigh. She’d been so worked up about the situation with Lindsay, so determined that she would never forgive the girl that she hadn’t even considered thinking about it rationally, hadn’t considered that if she just listened to the girl and accepted her apology, all of her stress would melt away. Of course, Ellie was still a million miles away from ever forgiving Ethan, but after listening to Ellie and Janet, and witnessing the start of Sade’s reconciliation with her sister, Ellie was forced to concede that there might come a time in the distant future when she might be willing to forgive Ethan and let bygones be bygones. The VERY distant future…

The following Friday, the girls all gathered at the flat to celebrate Sade’s nineteenth birthday. Unlike Ellie’s housewarming, the party went off without a hitch, and plenty of fun (and alcohol) was had by all present. Despite their reconciliation, Alicia didn’t attend the party, but did at least send along a small gift- though Sade was more thrilled when Stephanie dropped round to the party, even if it was only for fifteen minutes. 24 hours later, Ellie, Lindsay, Sade and Jade, joined by Jodie, Keira, Monique and Kacey had their promised sleepover at Janet’s house, and despite it being a much quieter party, all eight girls had just as much fun, all of them able to appreciate just how blessed they were to have so many genuine, loving friends- and no one felt more grateful than Ellie. She’d gone through her whole life fighting everyone- her friends, her family, and even herself for the first sixteen years of her life. By finally accepting her friends for who they were, even when they made mistakes, Ellie had finally been able to let go of her anger.

While the girls partied at her house, Janet was happy to spend the night by herself in Sade and Ellie’s flat- though she wasn’t entirely alone.

“Okay, I don’t think mum can hear us,” Ethan said into his phone as Janet listened intently. “She is still properly on the warpath, it’s like if I even think about you, her head explodes.”

“Heh,” Janet chuckled. “Take it from me- and I’ve known her a lot longer than you- she can hold a grudge, but she won’t stay angry forever. At some point, she’ll forgive Lindsay and the two of you won’t have to sneak around anymore.”

“Yeah, well, I won’t cross my fingers,” Ethan sighed.

“How- how are your university applications coming along?” Janet asked. “Are you still looking at studying through the Open University?”

“Yep, think that’s my only option,” Ethan replied. “And yes, I know I only have myself to blame. If I could do it all again, I- well, I definitely wouldn’t do what I did. And, you know, I might- well, I wouldn’t be entirely against the idea of having a transgender girlfriend. Not that any transgender girl would ever have me when they found out what I did.”

“Shoe’s on the other foot, eh?” Janet asked.

“Yep, and it sucks,” Ethan said. “Though it’s, like, only in a very specific circumstance that it’d happen to me. It happens to you every day in everything you do, and that- that really does suck.”

“I’m glad to hear you realise that,” Janet said. “You made a huge mistake, bigger than anyone else that I know, but- but maybe you are learning from it.”

“Yeah,” Ethan said quietly.

“…So you’d really be happy with dating a transgender girl?” Janet teased her son, who groaned down the phone and made the older woman giggle.

“I don’t see why not,” Ethan eventually replied. “I mean, a woman is a woman, regardless of what’s between her legs, right?”

“Right,” Janet replied with a proud grin, even as she fiddled with the letter in her hands, the letter informing her that her gender confirmation surgery would be taking place at the end of July…

“It’s okay to be a little nervous,” the nurse said as Janet fidgeted in her bed, trying to get comfortable. “The surgeons know what they’re doing, and they’ve done it countless times already. You’ll be back up on your feet before you know it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Janet said, taking several deep breaths to try to steady her nerves. “And God knows it’s not like I haven’t dreamed about this every day of my life since- heh, probably since before you were born!”

“Well, I was born in 1994, so maybe,” the nurse said, making Janet chuckle.

“Thanks for making me feel old AND nervous!” the 45-year-old woman said. “I can guarantee you that yes, I have been dreaming about this since before 1994.”

“Well, in a few hours, you won’t need to dream anymore!” the nurse said with a warm smile. “Just relax, get comfortable, the anaesthetist will be here in a bit. Though I think you have some visitors first!”

Janet squeaked excitedly as the nurse opened the door to her private room to reveal the faces of four young women- young women that had become parts of her life that Janet simply couldn't live without. Only one of them was her biological child, but the other three girls were almost as important to Janet- not the least because while Lindsay may have viewed her as her father, the other three girls viewed her as a mother.

“Hi girls!” Janet said with a happy giggle as the four teenagers each gave her a gentle hug, before dropping carrier bags of cards and presents on her nightstand. “Oh- you really shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble, really!”

“Oh, like we weren’t going to make a fuss?” Ellie snorted, straightening her short, tight skirt as she sat down at Janet’s bedside. “Especially after all you’ve done for all of us.”

“Well- thanks,” Janet chuckled. “Though I haven’t actually gone in for the operation yet, heh.”

“Yeah, but still, though,” Ellie said, before taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. “Are you- are you nervous?”

“…A little,” Janet confessed. “But I’ve got the best doctors looking after me, they’ve done the procedure countless times- I’ll be fine, really. So will you two, when it’s your turn.” Janet smiled warmly as Ellie and Jade both blushed.

“…I’m still a LONG way away from that,” Ellie mumbled.

“I’m not even eighteen yet,” Jade chuckled. “Hell, I’m not even SEVENteen yet.”

“But you will be before you know it,” Janet said. “And I’ll be on hand to support you- both of you- with anything you need.” Janet’s smile widened as the two sisters’ eyes began to well up.

“Yeah, well,” Ellie chuckled emotionally. “That’s just more of a reason for us to spoil you, isn’t it?”

“Well- okay, fine if you insist,” Janet chuckled. “And if you also insist on spending your hard-earned summer holidays stuck in a room with a middle-aged woman, too!”

“Oh, we have plans today, don’t worry about that!” Lindsay chuckled. “But we were never going to not check in on you, you know? And yes, I’ll stop in on you every day while you’re in here.”

“Oh- really, that isn’t necessary,” Janet said. “I know I said earlier that you'd be helping me a lot when I get home, but I do still want you to enjoy your summer! It’s the first summer that you’re an adult, for god’s sake, you should enjoy yourself.”

“And like I said, I intend to,” Lindsay retorted. “But it’s not like I’m going to neglect you, I mean-“ Lindsay paused as she reached into Janet’s gift basket and handed her a fancy red envelope. “You are my dad.”

Janet smiled and blinked back tears as she looked at the envelope, and the simple word written on the front- ‘Dad’. Janet had yearned her whole life to be a woman, to shed herself of everything male and be only the woman she truly was on the inside, but the one aspect of masculinity she couldn’t, and wouldn’t let go of was fatherhood. All throughout her years as ‘John’, the biggest source of happiness that she was able to rely on was the love shown to her by her son and daughter. When Ethan and Lindsay had originally rejected Janet, it had devastated her to the point that she longer wished to be alive, and even though Janet eventually regained their love, the impact of the initial rejection still lingered in her mind. However, she knew that no matter what, she would always be their father, and no one could take that away from her- and the card was written proof of that.

“Thank you,” Janet whispered as she carefully opened the envelope and studied the card within. On the front was a drawing of a slender woman dressed in an elegant skirt suit, not unlike the suits that Janet wore to work every day. And at the top was a simple message- 'get well soon dad'. “It’s beautiful, thank you.” Janet beamed with pride as she placed the card on her nightstand, trying her hardest not to giggle as her daughter wiped a tear from her eye.

“It’s nothing, really,” Lindsay mumbled.

“No, it’s definitely something,” Janet retorted, giggling as her daughter rolled her eyes. “Though I’m guessing by the design that it was a custom-made thing?”

“Well- yeah,” Lindsay mumbled, fidgeting uncomfortably. “Doubt even Hallmark covers this- well, ‘this’, heh.”

“Maybe they should start,” Janet said with a shrug that made all of her young friends smile, even though inside, she hoped that any father who transitioned wouldn't have as difficult a time as she did.

“It’d be nice to think,” Sade said. “I remember last year on Valentine’s Day, I was still going out with Leanne, and you wouldn’t believe the trouble I had finding a card with two girls on it. And- umm, well, I don’t, you know, mean this disrespectfully, but- umm, but-“

“But lesbian relationships are more commonplace than fathers who have a sex change?” Janet asked, smiling sympathetically as Sade nodded. “It’s okay, I can’t deny that’s true, heh. Though I am now eager to see what other cards you’ve got me!” Janet beamed excitedly as she reached back into the bag and withdrew another card.

“Mine’s kinda generic, I’m afraid,” Jade said with a nervous giggle as Janet carefully opened the envelope that had her handwriting on it.

“Doesn’t make it any less beautiful,” Janet replied with a smile as she placed the card bearing the image of a basket of flowers next to Lindsay’s. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jade mumbled bashfully as she blushed.

"Yours is beautiful too, Sade," Janet said as she opened the card- a plain pink card with the words 'get well soon' written on the front in bold purple text. "Just one left, heh!"

Janet felt herself freeze as a wave of emotions flooded her as she pulled Ellie’s card out of her bag. The envelope was lilac, and as plain as the other three she had opened, but on the front was a three-letter word that brought tears to her eyes- ‘Mum’.

Despite the many, many challenges she had had to endure, Janet considered herself uniquely privileged in her life to have been both a father to Ethan and Lindsay and a mother to Ellie. When Janet and Ellie had been at their lowest, when neither of them had anyone to turn to, they found in each other not just friendship, but a genuine feeling of family, and of acceptance. Both women knew that no matter how many people would try to put them down, they would always have a true supporter in each other. Janet had come to see and love Ellie as though she were her own daughter, and if Janet ever needed any proof that Ellie felt the same way, it was written on the envelope in black and white.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Janet whispered emotionally as she tore open the envelope and examined the card. It was a plain card with the image of a middle-aged woman on the front, but the front of the card meant nothing to Janet when compared to the three-letter word on the envelope. ”Really, you don’t know just how much this means to me, all of it- not just the card, but you being here right now- everything.” Janet blinked back tears as the four young women all blushed and nodded.

“Are- are you expecting any other visitors today?” Ellie asked, frowning as Janet started fidgeting uncomfortably- a sure sign that she wasn't going to like the older woman's answer to that particular question.

“I think my old friends from when I worked as Tesco will be dropping by,” Janet replied, her voice trailing off into a mumble. “And, umm, and Ethan…”

“Okay,” Ellie whispered, desperately trying to control her own emotions as Janet said the name of her son. While she didn’t begrudge Janet the right to speak to her son, the mere mention of his name, the memory of what he did to her made Ellie shudder. Even though Janet had been able to convince her of his remorse for what he had done, the psychological and physical scars of his attack were still fresh for Ellie. However, the young woman was prepared to make the effort to be happy for Janet repairing her relationship with her son- it was the least she could do after all the help and love Janet had shown her over the years.

For her part, Janet could easily understand Ellie’s hatred of Ethan. Under ordinary circumstances, what he did to her would be unforgivable. However, the circumstances were far from ordinary. As far as Janet was concerned, both Ellie and Ethan were her children, despite the unusual circumstances of the former and the initial rejection of the latter. She was not prepared to simply condemn and discard Ethan the way she believed Ellie wanted her to. And while she disapproved of Lindsay’s actions in trying to reunite both herself and Ellie with Ethan, ultimately Janet had to grudgingly admit that without it, she'd likely never have spoken to her son again.

“He won’t be here until after lunch,” Janet explained, smiling sympathetically at the look of relief on Ellie’s face. “Which is where you should all be heading soon. Well, those of you who got up before 11am, anyway!” Janet smirked as the four teenagers all blushed, confirming her suspicions about their sleeping patterns. “It’s okay, I remember being your age. Well, just about, heh! I definitely remember the fun, though. So, let me repeat myself one final time: Have. Fun. Today. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“Well- okay,” Lindsay said, before leaning in to give her father another tight, loving hug.

“And for what it’s worth,” Janet continued, “I think all four of you will make great mothers someday. And don’t tell me that you can’t be mothers because of- well, ‘because’. All you need to be a great mother is to be a woman with love in her heart. And you four all have that in spades.” And you above everyone else taught me what it means to be a mother, Ellie, Janet thought to herself as her young friends all smiled appreciatively.

The four young women stayed with Janet for another half an hour, catching her up on their lives and their plans for the summer break before leaving for lunch. After the four girls had left, Janet relaxed back onto her bed, musing on how blessed she was to have such a large family- and not just a biological family, but a family of choice. What she was most happy about, though, was that the four young women all had each other to rely on whenever they needed it.

Even though Janet had only known Sade for a few months, she could immediately tell that she was a girl who had a strong sense of morality and believed in loyalty to her friends above all else. Like Ellie, she hadn’t been shown any loyalty from her family after she came out, but like Ellie, she had made true friends- her own family of choice, just as the four girls had been for Janet. Ellie and Sade had quickly become close friends, if not best friends, and Janet knew it was a friendship that would endure long after both girls graduated from university. Janet had initially been concerned when Ellie had moved out of her house- just as any parent would be when their child first chooses to live independently- but Janet was confident that Ellie couldn't have found a better flatmate than Sade.

Janet knew, though, that no matter how close Ellie and Sade became, it would pale into insignificance compared to the bond Ellie shared with her younger sister. Janet had noticed how, even before she came out, Jade seemed to hang on Ellie’s every word like a puppy, and when Jade did come out, it hadn’t come as a total surprise to Janet. Janet was even less surprised by how close the two sisters quickly became after both were allowed to live their lives the way they wanted, especially after they were both finally accepted by their parents. Sure, they still fell out from time to time, as all siblings do- especially teenagers. Janet knew, though, that Jade couldn’t have asked for a better older sister than Ellie, and Ellie couldn’t have wished for a better younger sister than Jade.

Although, with that being said, Janet was forced to acknowledge the overwhelmingly positive effect that Lindsay had had on Ellie’s life, and vice versa. Sure, they argued from time to time, and Lindsay’s actions concerning her brother had threatened to permanently end the friendship, but the bond they had had proved more than strong enough to overcome it, like true friends- or rather, like true sisters. Janet had always secretly wished that Lindsay had had a younger sister, and while the wish didn’t come true in the strictest sense of the word, Janet considered the bond between Ellie and Lindsay to be her wish granted. Janet smiled with pride as she relaxed back onto her bed, thinking about how lucky she was to have two daughters such as Ellie and Lindsay.

Janet’s rest was interrupted half an hour later when a knock came from her door, followed by a young man poking his head into the room.

“H- hi,” the young man said nervously. “Can- can I come in?”

“Of course you can,” Janet replied with a warm smile. “Please, sit down, Ethan.”

“Thanks,” the twenty-year-old man said, sitting down in the seat that had recently been vacated by Ellie while trying his hardest not to fidget. “How- how are you, umm… Dad?” Janet tried her hardest to keep her smile on her face as her son tripped over his words. She knew how much of a struggle it was to see her as his father- or rather, to see his father as the woman she had become. However, like Lindsay had done several months earlier, Ethan was at least making the effort, and Janet was determined to make sure her son knew how much she appreciated it- and how much she appreciated him.

“I’m fine, really,” Janet replied. “My operation isn’t until this evening; I’m just resting up on doctor’s orders.”

“Okay,” Ethan whispered.

“Does- does your mother know you’re here?” Janet asked, also fidgeting uncomfortably.

“…Yeah,” Ethan replied. “She- she wasn’t exactly happy, but, well, she kinda understood, you know?”

“Yeah,” Janet whispered. “Ethan, I- I get that this is uncomfortable for you. Not just, well, the operation, but- you have to understand that I never wanted to force you to choose between me and your mother, and I have to believe that your mother didn’t want that either.”

“I know,” Ethan mumbled. “She kinda said the same thing, like, now that I’m an adult, well, yeah.”

“Well, she is right, you are your own man,” Janet said, hesitating slightly as she chose her words. “And as such, you can make your own choices. And while those choices haven’t always been good ones, they are yours to make nonetheless, and neither your mother nor I can change that.”

“Yeah,” Ethan mumbled.

“Though on a personal note,” Janet continued, “I am glad that you’ve chosen to speak to me again.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ethan chuckled quietly. “I- I did miss you, dad. I really did but I- I kinda get it, now. I understand why you had to do what you did.”

“If I had any say in the matter, I-“ Janet said, before pausing and sighing. “…I dunno. It’s hard to describe for people who don’t, well, ‘share’ this experience, but it- it’s kinda like having a giant thorn in your side all your life, and when you can finally be who you really are inside, the thorn is removed and- well, yeah.”

“You’re no longer in pain?” Ethan asked.

“Not that kind of pain, not anymore,” Janet replied. “But it was like, whatever I did, I was doomed to lose. If I kept being ‘John’, that thorn would never go away. Ever. But finally becoming the real me cost me my family, which was almost as bad.”

“Is that why you- you, umm, you did what you did?” Ethan asked, sending a shiver down Janet's spine.

As unbearable as the pain of living life as 'John' had become, the pain of losing her family had been just as bad for Janet. And just like the pain of living life as 'John', it was a pain Janet believed would never go away- at least, not until she herself did. Whilst she had immediately regretted her attempt on her own life, in the brief seconds before she dialled 999, Janet had wondered whether Ethan- and, for that matter Lindsay- would have preferred having a dead father to a transgender father- or whether or not they'd even have cared if she'd died.

“Don’t- don’t worry about that,” Janet said. “Nothing like THAT will ever happen again. Not while I have you and Lindsay, and not while I can be the person I really am.”

“Yeah,” Ethan whispered.

“I know it must be difficult,” Janet said softly. “For a boy to lo- well, to not have his father around anymore. But just because my- well, circumstances have changed, it doesn’t make you any less my son, and it certainly doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

“Thanks,” Ethan mumbled, his cheeks starting to flush with embarrassment. “I, um, I- I lo-“

“I know,” Janet interrupted, sparing the young man’s blushes. “Do you have anything planned for today, or for the weekend?”

“Not really,” Ethan shrugged. “Just work, a bit of pre-reading for my Open University course, that’s it.”

“What, you’re not hanging out with your friends at any point?” Janet teased. “It’s the middle of summer and a weekend, surely you have more planned?”

“Yeah, well, I might do if I had any friends,” Ethan sighed. “What I- well, what happened with Ellie, it- most of my friends kinda didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, heh. And those that did, well, I- I didn’t really want anything to do with them. So I’ve sort-of, you know, been keeping to myself, if I need to chat to someone I can always talk to Lindsay, but because she hangs out with Ellie a lot- well, yeah.”

“Yeah,” Janet said. “And I know I should be sympathetic, but- well…”

“I know, I only have myself to blame,” Ethan said with a long sigh. “I’m reminded of that every second of every day. I mean, I’d had a lot of beers when I- well, when I did what I did, but I still remember it clearly, and I- if I could go back in time and undo it, I would in a heartbeat. Not just because of what happened to me, but- ugh. I- and I’m just, you know, being sincere here, I’m not trying to- umm…”

“Go on,” Janet said softly.

“I really did think Ellie was cute,” Ethan confessed. “I mean, before she told me- well, what she told me, I really could’ve seen myself getting together with her. And if I did, I’d have reconnected with you, and- ugh. It’s stupid, fantasizing about what could’ve been.”

“Not if it helps you learn from your mistakes,” Janet said. “That’s about as far from stupid as it’s possible to get.”

“Thanks,” Ethan mumbled, before grimacing and staring at his shoes. “I, umm, I- I have something I want to tell you.”

“Okay…?” Janet asked.

“Last week, I- I bought a dress,” Ethan confessed. “Off of Amazon, I had it shipped to one of those locker things so I could pick it up without mum noticing, then I, you know, took it home, tried it on…” Janet bit her lip as Ethan’s voice trailed off, his cheeks burning bright red with shame.

“Take your time,” Janet said softly, trying desperately to keep her emotions under control as she could tell that her son was close to tears.

“I- I just wanted to see what it was like,” Ethan said. “Why- why you liked it so much.”

“And… Did you- did you like it?” Janet asked hesitantly, conscious about not further disturbing the boy’s emotions.

“…Not really,” Ethan confessed. Janet allowed herself a moment’s disappointment- a tiny part of her had hoped that maybe her son could have experienced the same feeling she had of finally becoming their own person, what she'd heard people refer to as 'gender euphoria'. However, she quickly realised that regardless of her feelings, Ethan had to be his own person- and if that meant he was cisgender, then so be it. Janet would love him nonetheless. “It was just, you know, like a longer t-shirt. The fabric was softer, but- ugh, I dunno. I thought that maybe, if I wore the clothes, I- I’d maybe understand you a little better, you know?”

“You don’t need to wear a dress to understand better,” Janet confessed. “It- it’s just clothes, you’re not wrong when you say a dress is just like a longer t-shirt.”

“…Then why do you like wearing them so much?” Ethan asked.

“Because they’re an external representation of who I am inside,” Janet replied as she mused on how she wasn't being entirely truthful. Janet remembered vividly the first time that she'd had an inkling of who she truly was- it was the early 1980s and she was at primary school, playing with her friends in her regulation shirt, jumper and trousers and wishing that she could be one of the girls with their stiff pleated skirts, knee-length socks or cardigans. Janet would've given anything to be able to wear a skirt to school, and even as she grew older and began her transition, the mere act of stepping into a skirt continued to excite her. However, as she came to terms with why the clothes excited her so much, she began to realise that she didn't need them to be who she truly was on the inside- but that didn't mean she was going to give them up.

“I mean," Janet continued, "sure, there are lots of women who don’t wear dresses or skirts, and- well, I could transition and still wear the same clothes I wore before, never touch a scrap of make-up, but- but that wouldn’t be who I really am. I don’t want to hide, I want the world to know that this is who I really am. I suppose it’s easier to get the message across wearing a dress than a pair of trousers, heh.”

“But- but what about the people who say that, you know, you- you can never be a ‘real’ woman?” Ethan asked.

“All I have to do is say ‘yes I can’ one more time than they say ‘no you can’t’,” Janet replied with a defiant smile.

“…You’re a lot braver than I am,” Ethan mumbled. “heh, when I was growing up, you- you used to be my hero, you know? Then- well…”

“Yeah,” Janet whispered.

“But now that- now that I, well, know,” Ethan said, “you- you’re pretty much my hero again.” Despite her best efforts, tears began to trickle down Janet’s cheeks as she opened her arms for a hug that her son was only too happy to give.

Ethan left the hospital a short while later, but not before wordlessly reassuring Janet that no matter what, she was still his father. Sure, she might not have been as much of a role model, or even 'hero' as she was before, but she was the boy's father nonetheless, and that was more than enough for her.

Eventually, morning made way for afternoon, though that didn’t mean that Janet’s day was going to get any quieter, as was proved when yet another knock came from her door. The sound of loud chatter coming from behind the door made Janet smile, as she knew it could only be one person, but it was a different sound that made Janet smile the widest- the sound of the gurgling, sleeping baby in the stroller that was pushed by the taller and younger of her two friends from her former place of work.

“Hi you two- sorry, you three, hehe!” Janet said with a giggle as her latest guests entered the room.

“Hi,” Meredith replied cautiously. “We’re not intruding, are we? Only the doctor said that you needed to rest so we couldn’t stay long, but she said we could go in and talk to you if we wanted to, but-“

“It’s okay, come in, please!” Janet chuckled. “Especially you, little man!”

“Heh,” Shannon chuckled tiredly as she positioned her stroller next to her seat and gently stroked her days-old son’s head. “How he’s still sleeping I have no idea, but I’m not complaining! If only he could do this during the night, heh.”

“I’m sure he will,” Janet reassured the new parent. “After several months, anyway!” Janet giggled as Shannon sighed and shook her head, before letting out a tired giggle of her own.

“I’m sure it’ll be worth it,” the blonde woman said.

“Take it from someone with experience,” Janet said reassuringly. “It definitely will, hehe! And… I hope the same can be said for me, heh.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t certain, would you?” Meredith asked. Janet paused as she waited for her motormouthed friend to continue, before giggling as the two women stared at her expectantly.

“…No, no I wouldn’t,” Janet chuckled. “But it is going to be a big change, a lot of getting used to- a lot of recovery time, too. But it’s something I’ve dreamed about for literally as long as I can remember. It’s weird to think that this dream is actually about to come true, heh.”

“Well, no one can say you haven’t worked hard for it,” Meredith said. “Hopefully once everything is, you know, done, you won’t, you know, have the same kind of, like, difficulties that you had before, I mean, you won’t be as, you know, targeted, if that’s the right word…”

“I- I don’t think that’s ever not going to happen,” Janet sighed. “I mean, there’s only so much ‘reshaping’ the surgeons can do. And you won’t even be able to tell externally, I mean, it’s not like I went around everywhere naked before, right?”

“Well, I suppose,” Meredith replied. “but- if, you know, you don’t mind me asking and all that, but- umm, why did- why-“

“Why would I want to have it done if not to ‘shove in people’s faces’?” Janet asked, smirking as her friend nodded. “I’m having it done for me, just for me. Hell, I’m 45, odds are no one else will even, well, ‘see it in context’ if that makes any sense. It’s not like I’m a catch, heh.”

“Don’t say that!” Shannon chastised her older friend. “You’re a great friend, you’re kind, you’re supportive, you're generous… I reckon you’d make a great wife to someone. God knows- ugh, this’ll sound silly…”

“No, go on,” Janet said. “I won’t be offended, I promise.”

“You- you’re kinda my role model,” Shannon mumbled. “I mean, for being a mother. Like, the way you looked after Ellie, under difficult circumstances… not many people could have done that.”

“Yeah, well,” Janet replied, her eyes welling up yet again. “Ellie was easier than a new-born as she was a teenager. The trouble was getting her to wake up, not getting her to fall asleep!”

“Yeah, but still, though,” Shannon said. “It’s a lot of responsibility, surely?”

“…Yes and no,” Janet replied with a smile. “Ellie, she- she was as much a help to me as I was to her. Maybe even more so. God knows where I’d be now if it wasn’t for her, heh.”

“Well, I suppose if she was sixteen, she would be able to help out a lot around the house,” Meredith mused.

“Yeah, but- that’s not what I’m referring to,” Janet said. “Ellie helped me out of a really, really dark place without even realising she was doing it. Just by being there, on the same path as me... You don't know the value of simply knowing that you're not alone. Ellie did more for me than she'll ever know. As did the two of you, whether you know it or not.”

“Well- thanks, and you’re welcome, I suppose,” Meredith mumbled bashfully.

“It really hasn’t been the same without you at work,” Shannon said with a sad chuckle, before flinching as her friend turned to her with an incredulous look on her face.

“Imagine how I’m gonna feel with you on maternity leave for another nine months!” Meredith retorted, before chuckling. “Heh, though it’s not like I can blame you. Either of you, really, with your new families…”

“You will find someone, honestly,” Janet said with a reassuring smile. “If you want a family, I have a feeling the world will make it happen somehow!”

“Yeah, well, the world hasn’t for the first thirty-eight years of my life,” Meredith snorted, before chuckling tiredly again. “But it’s okay. I’ve got my sister and her kids. And I’ve got, you know, a family of choice, right? And that’s always better, ‘cause I’ve had boyfriends before, but I didn’t, you know ‘love’ any of them the way I’d, you know, love a best friend, like your friends, the Angels, ‘cause I look at Jamie-Lee Burke and Charlotte Hutchinson and the friendship they have, and even though they’re both married, you can tell that they both absolutely couldn’t live without each other, and- well, I- I kinda feel the same way about you guys. I- I genuinely love you both.”

“…I feel the same way,” Janet whispered softly.

“So do I,” Shannon said, wiping a solitary tear from her eye. “In fact, that- umm, Janet, if you- I-“

“It’s okay, Shannon,” Janet reassured her emotional friend. “Whatever it is you want to tell me, you can just say it, you know you can.”

“Would you- would you agree to be godmother for him?” Shannon asked, making Janet’s jaw drop. “If- if you wouldn’t mind, of course…”

“Of course I wouldn’t mind!” Janet squeaked excitedly. “I would truly be honoured to be his godmother. Assuming, of course, your church agrees to the whole ‘mother’ part when it comes to me, heh.”

“I don’t see why they shouldn’t,” Shannon retorted. “I mean, like I just said, I do, right?”

“…Thank you,” Janet whispered. “Again. For- for everything. God knows how I’d have got through life at the supermarket without you, heh!”

“I’ve a feeling you’d have been okay,” Shannon chuckled. “Oh, and by the way, Kelly sends her love too, she’s not able to come herself as she’s getting ready for the big move.”

“Move?” Janet asked.

“Oh, didn’t we tell you?” Meredith replied. “Kelly’s been promoted, she’s going to be an area manager so she’s going to be moving closer to the centre of London. We’ve got a new manager starting in a couple of weeks, Appleton I think her name is.”

“Ahh, that’s cool,” Janet chuckled. “I’m sure this new boss will be as good as Kelly, though.”

“Yeah, but it’s just more change to get used to,” Meredith shrugged. “Still though, as long as it’s a change for the better, right?”

“Absolutely,” Janet replied. “And when you’re the driving force behind your change, it almost always is for the better.”

Janet’s friends and former colleagues stayed with her for another twenty minutes, before the tiny baby began to grow restless, prompting their departure. Janet wasn’t alone with her thoughts for long, though, before yet another knock came from her door. When the door opened, however, it was a face that Janet wasn’t expecting- a face that she hadn’t seen in almost a quarter of a century.

“M- Matt?” Janet asked, gobsmacked by the appearance of the middle-aged man. “Matt Hawkes?”

“Janet Cole!” The man replied in a thick East Yorkshire accent. “Now then, it’s been a few years, hasn’t it?”

“At least twenty!” Janet chuckled as her old friend leaned in for a hug. “What- how did- how did you even find out about this?”

“The miracle of Facebook and Twitter,” Matt replied with a playful giggle as he sat down at Janet’s bedside. “You’re in the old uni group too, remember? I spotted the name ‘Janet Cole’ on the group and thought ‘huh, I don’t remember a Janet Cole in our year’, and then yes, oh yes, I did remember!”

“Yeah,” Janet chuckled. “Some of those times we had, they- they were pretty unforgettable, heh!”

“That’s certainly one word for them!” Matt giggled. “Anyway, as I was saying, from Facebook it wasn’t too hard to trace ‘Janet Cole’ on Twitter, and I- I actually started following you, like, months ago. Though you’ve got so many followers you probably didn’t notice my little old name in there, heh!”

“I’ve only got about 3000 followers,” Janet mumbled as she tried not to blush.

“Which is still about 2950 more than me,” Matt retorted. “You tweeted that today was your operation, so I, well, made a few calls, heh. I’d wanted to get back in touch with you since I found you online, I just thought, well…”

“Better do it now in case I croak on the operating table?” Janet asked, chuckling as her friend rolled his eyes.

“I don’t mean it like THAT,” Matt chastised his friend. “But, well, you will be off your feet for a bit once it’s, well, ‘done’, right?”

“Oh- for weeks,” Janet sighed. “I’m NOT looking forward to the recovery. But I am very, very much looking forward to being able to be- well, me. Post-recovery, I mean.”

“I can- heh, well, I can’t imagine what it must be like,” Matt chuckled tiredly as he sat down. “But I do have some experience at least of, well, needing to be the ‘real’ me. Openly, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Janet whispered. “So, are- are you seeing anyone?”

“Been married for six years,” Matt replied, holding up his left hand to show the two rings on his third finger- the plain gold wedding band and the sparkly diamond ring above it. “His name’s Gavin, we met at work and, well, the rest is history, heh. You?”

“Married for eighteen years, divorced for three,” Janet replied with a sad sigh. “And yes, the reason for the divorce is the, well, obvious one.”

“Idiot woman,” Matt snorted. “Oh- your ex-wife, not you!”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed,” Janet giggled. “Still, I kinda knew it was gonna happen… It still hurt, though. Especially as it took years for my kids to forgive me as well.”

“Aww, you have kids too?” Matt asked with a warm, friendly smile.

“Yep!” Janet replied. “A son, Ethan, who’s twenty, and a daughter, Lindsay, who’s eighteen and off to uni in September.”

“Now that IS cool,” Matt gushed. “I’ll bet you were a great father, heh. And ARE a great mother, too!”

“Well, I- I did my best,” Janet chuckled bashfully. “How about you? Did you, you know, you and your husband never think about adopting, or having a child via a surrogate?”

“Nah,” Matt whispered. “I mean, we talked about it, but it- it didn’t seem fair, somehow. To the kid, I mean. I mean, when we were kids, can you imagine what it’d have been like if it were found out that someone in our school had two gay dads?”

“Or a transgender parent,” Janet mused. “Still though, it’s been thirty years since either of us was at school, things have to have improved since then?”

“Well, you’d like to hope,” Matt shrugged. “And it was closer to twenty-five years, especially if you count university!”

“Which I always will,” Janet said teasingly.

“And I suppose you’re right that things have improved in a way,” Matt mused. “Think back to the mid-nineties and who did we have on TV who was LGBT? Julian Clary, Lily Savage and if we were very lucky, Eddie Izzard. I mean sure, there were more, but all closeted, you know? Like Barrymore for example. Nowadays, sure, we’ve still got, like, camp gay celebrities like John Barrowman, or Tom Allen- who, don’t get me wrong, I think is an absolute delight. But you’ve also got, like, Scott Mills, or that guy who hosted Never Mind the Buzzcocks. And last, but by no means least, your best pals!”

“…My friends?” Janet asked, before rolling her eyes as she realised what her old friend implied. “Oh, right, the Angels, which you of course know because I-“

“Because you put your employer in your Twitter profile,” Matt interrupted. “And yes, I think Jamie, Kelly and all their friends are absolute delights as well. As is their HR manager.”

“…Thanks,” Janet mumbled, her cheeks blushing bright red. “And thank you for coming to see me, really. Hopefully, it won’t take twenty-five years next time, heh!”

“Well, let’s hope not,” Matt chuckled. “Even if we can’t quite get up to the same shenanigans we used to now that we’re both the wrong side of forty-five, heh!”

“No, but I think we had enough ‘shenanigans’ back then to last us a lifetime, hehe!” Janet giggled.

“Well- that’s definitely true!” Matt said. “Though even if nowadays our ‘shenanigans’ consist of a cup of coffee and a scone, it’ll still be great to catch up.”

“Definitely,” Janet said with a nod.

“Right, well, as much as I’d love to stay here and chat all afternoon, I do have shopping to get,” Matt said as he rose from his chair. “Though one advantage 2019 does have over 1994 is that 1994 didn’t have social media. Not unless you count telephones that are actually plugged into the wall, anyway.”

“Which anyone under the age of thirty wouldn’t,” Janet chuckled. “I’ll add you on Facebook and Twitter first chance I get. It was really great seeing you again, Matt.”

“Likewise,” Matt said, before giggling and leaning in for another hug with his old friend. “Let me know when you’re back on your feet and we can get that ‘shenanigans coffee’, heh. I’ll make sure to introduce you to Gavin as well.”

“I will,” Janet said, smiling happily as Matt closed the door behind him.

The sudden reappearance of her old friend had been a surprise to Janet, but not an unwelcome one, and the memories that he stirred up were also ones Janet looked back on with great fondness. When Janet started university in 1992, it had been the first time she’d ever lived away from home, which brought with it previously unknown freedoms- most importantly, the freedom to be ‘Janet’ whenever and wherever she wanted, albeit in private. Not all of Janet’s housemates at university had been as open-minded as Matt had been, causing Janet to live in constant fear that her 'secret' clothes would be discovered, but ultimately, thanks to Matt’s influence- along with several other friends- the roots of the woman that Janet would become were sown.

When Janet left university, she reluctantly left behind the happiest days of her life- not just the ability to be who she truly was on the inside, but the friends she had made as well. Nothing made Janet happier than to know that not only would the day bring with it the culmination of a lifelong dream, but it would also reintroduce her to one of the best friends she’d ever had.

However, shortly after Matt’s departure, yet another knock came from Janet’s door that reminded her that not only did she have her old friends, but she also had several newer friends who loved her just as much- even though their schedules were undoubtedly busier than Matt's.

“Hi!” The unmistakable and world-famous voice of Stephanie Abbott said with a giggle as she entered the room, followed by one of the most famous, if not THE most famous transgender woman in the UK.

“Hi Steph, hi Jamie!” Janet said, smiling as the two women exchanged gentle hugs with her. “You two didn’t have to come today, surely you have better things to do with your time?”

“Better than supporting our friend on her big day?” Jamie asked with a smug smirk. “I can’t think of anything, can you, Steph?”

“Not a thing,” Stephanie replied with a warm grin.

“Well- I’m glad you’re here, but it’s felt a bit like Piccadilly Circus today with the number of visitors I’ve had!” Janet chuckled.

“And I should hope so, too!” Jamie giggled, before smiling sympathetically. “Nervous?”

“Just a bit, yeah!” Janet laughed. “I mean, I had 45 years in the same body, now I’m going to have to, like, learn everything all over again…”

“Yeah, well think of it this way,” Stephanie mused. “It was 45 years in the WRONG body. Now you can finally be the REAL you.”

“Well… I’ve been the ‘REAL’ me for the last three years,” Janet chuckled, earning supportive smiles from her two young friends. “On the inside, at least. It’s a pity that the outside is all that people can see. It’s also a pity that’s all that most people care about, heh.”

“Oh- I agree totally,” Jamie said, earning a frown from her two friends. “People are far too focussed on stuff that’s only skin-deep.”

“…You’re a model,” Stephanie reminded the blonde woman, before giggling and sighing. “Though you’re definitely not wrong. What we have- or even what we don’t have- in our pants is absolutely no one’s business but our own.”

“Amen, sister!” Jamie giggled. “We are women, plain and simple, and anyone who can’t see that should’ve gone to Specsavers.”

“Yeah, well, I’m kinda gonna have to agree with Steph on this,” Janet sighed. “It’s a lot easier for someone who’s 5’ 5” and, what, a size 10?”

“…Size 8,” Jamie mumbled. “And yeah, I kinda get your point, but it shouldn’t be about whether or not we ‘pass’. We are who we are, we’re not hurting anyone, so what does it matter if you wear a dress, or have- well…”

“A vagina?” Janet asked with a smile. “I couldn’t agree more. Me being a woman doesn’t erase or invalidate other- well, cisgender women, you know?”

“Not even remotely,” Stephanie replied, before sighing. “I could tell you a few stories on similar lines about me and Kayla have been called, like, ‘not proper lesbians’ just because I’m trans.”

“Nikki and Sarah have said the same thing,” Jamie sighed. “I think Alexa and Jenny have, as well.”

“Yep,” Stephanie said with a tired nod. “And the worst part of it is, I’ll bet you anything that our experiences of homophobia have been almost identical to those so-called ‘real’ lesbians. It’s a bit like saying, you know, Lewis Hamilton has never experienced real racism because his mother’s white. But I bet his experiences of bigotry will be a lot more like, you know, Adeola or Abbey-Gayle than you or me.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Janet sighed. “But the real question is, what do we do about it?”

“We carry on doing what we’re already doing,” Jamie shrugged. “Being gorgeous, feminine, successful women. Bigots are basically just bullies, they get off on trying to make people feel ashamed to be who they are. But we should be so, so proud to be the women that we are.”

“Amen,” Janet said with a smile. “Though it’s important to remember that SRS doesn’t make a woman a woman- it IS what’s on the inside it counts.” Janet smiled supportively as Stephanie nodded and tried not to blush- she knew that the young singer had been feeling stressed out recently about her own gender confirmation surgery- or rather, the decision whether or not to have it at all.

“Thanks,” Stephanie mumbled. “I’m still kinda, you know, on the fence about it. Not that I’m at- well, ‘attached’ is one word, but you know what I mean when I say ‘I’m not attached to my dick’, heh.”

“Yeah,” Jamie whispered. “Well, even though we’ve had, well, ‘history’ in the past, if you ever need to chat, I’m only ever a Facebook message away.”

“As am I,” Janet said warmly. “I mean, you’ve helped me so much, it’s the least I could do, right?”

“I think we’ve kinda helped each other over the years, heh,” Stephanie chuckled.

“Well- that’s definitely true, heh!” Janet chuckled, relaxing back in her bed as she and her two famous friends gossiped away.

By the time Jamie and Stephanie left, late afternoon had given way to early evening, and even though the sun would still be up for hours to come, Janet began to feel tired from the attention she had been shown throughout the day. As she tried to relax, Janet mused on how when she’d first come out, she’d had no one to support her- no friends, no family, no one at all. But right before the biggest step yet on her journey, Janet had so many friends that she barely had any time to be by herself. Janet intended to follow Jamie’s advice and be proud to be the woman she truly was, both on the inside and soon to be outside as well. However, she was to receive one final visitor that day who would shake her confidence- and it was the last person she expected to see.

“L- Lisa?” Janet asked, her jaw dropping and her body tensing up as her ex-wife stood in her doorway.

“Hello Jo- Ja-“ the middle-aged woman stammered, making her ex-spouse frown.

“Janet,” the middle-aged woman said firmly. “My name is Janet. That’s what it says on my driving licence, that’s what it says on my passport. It’s only two syllables, it’s not THAT hard, surely?”

“…Janet,” Lisa said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

“What- what are you even doing here?” Janet asked, stunned by her ex-partner’s sudden appearance.

“My son told me you were here,” Lisa replied bluntly.

“OUR son,” Janet said firmly, biting her lip to retain her composure as Lisa frowned.

“…Ethan said that he came to visit you earlier today,” Lisa continued. “He told me that you were expecting an operation later today.”

“Well, THE operation, but yes,” Janet said, before remembering the confession that her son had made during his visit. “Did- did he tell you anything else?”

“Only that you were looking well,” Lisa replied. “And happier than you’ve looked in a long time.”

“I am happier,” Janet said. “Though I don’t expect you to understand, but that’s okay.”

“Well, no, I don’t understand,” Lisa scoffed. “I will never be able to understand why you threw away everything we had, nearly twenty years of marriage for- for this!”

“I’m not the one who gave it up!” Janet retorted, trying desperately to keep her anger in check. “I never stopped loving you, Lisa. But I- I just couldn’t go on the way I was, it was eating away at me constantly.”

“And being my husband and the children’s father wasn’t enough for you?” Lisa asked.

“It was only delaying the inevitable,” Janet replied. “If I could’ve pushed a button to get rid of the feelings, to get rid of the depression, the anxiety and stress, don’t you think I would have? But I couldn’t. My only options were to transition or spiral down into depression and death. And no, that is not an exaggeration, as you damn well know!”

“So, you put your needs before the needs of your family?” Lisa asked.

“Just like you did when you kicked me out without even giving me the chance to explain,” Janet retorted, frowning as Lisa scoffed.

“I never stopped loving y- John,” Lisa said. “Not- not this- person that you’ve become.”

“I am the same person,” Janet said. “I have been all along. Unless your love for ‘John’ was only ever skin deep?” Janet frowned as Lisa clenched her jaw tight shut, unable to respond to her accusation. “I think it’d be best if you left now. Unless you’re here to drop off a card?” Janet tried to smile as she gestured to the many greetings cards on her nightstand, but frowned as one of them caused her ex-wife to roll her eyes.

“’To mum’?” Lisa snorted. “You make the children call you that, now? Take away the one thing that’s still mine?”

“No, of course I don’t,” Janet replied. “My being a woman will never change the fact that you are Ethan and Lindsay’s mother, just as it won’t change the fact that I’m still their- parent. That card’s from Ellie.”

“…Oh,” Lisa said, triggering an awkward silence between the two women.

“…I’m not trying to take anything away from you,” Janet said softly. “This- my transition- it was never about trying to hurt you. I held out for as long as I did because I desperately wanted not to hurt you or the kids. But by doing so, I was hurting myself so, so much. It’s a minor miracle I lasted as long as I did.”

“What- what hurts the most was that you never trusted me enough to tell me about this all before it became an issue,” Lisa said, making Janet frown. “We were married for eighteen years, and not once did you even hint about anything like this.”

“Given how you reacted when I came out, can you blame me?” Janet asked, silencing her ex-wife. “Ugh, Lisa, we- we shouldn’t talk like this. I mean, we shouldn’t talk if all we’re going to do is argue.”

“Do you regret marrying me?” Lisa asked.

“Never,” Janet replied without hesitation. “Do- do you regret marrying me?”

“…Without you, Ethan and Lindsay wouldn’t exist,” Lisa replied. “So no, no I don’t. And… I don’t regret divorcing you, either.”

“Nor do I,” Janet whispered. “Especially not after how you treated Lindsay when she told you she’d been seeing me.” Janet bit her lip as her ex-wife’s cheeks reddened- though Janet couldn’t tell if it was through anger or shame.

“…I was angry,” Lisa said by way of explanation. “Though more at you than at her.”

“She didn’t see it that way,” Janet retorted.

“What- what exactly are you trying to say?” Lisa sneered.

“That if you’re going to accuse someone of being selfish,” Janet replied, “you maybe should take a look in the mirror first.”

“…I think we can both take some of the blame here,” Lisa conceded, though this still caused Janet's blood pressure to rise- it was clear from her tone of voice that Lisa believed that Janet shouldered more of the blame than her. However, in the interests of peace, for their children if not for themselves, Janet wasn’t going to argue any further.

“And we both need to accept that the children- well, they aren’t children anymore,” Janet said. “They’re both adults, at least in a legal sense, and we should allow them to make their own choices. Even if we don’t necessarily agree with them.”

“You’re right,” Lisa mumbled. “Though we should still support them.”

“Always,” Janet replied. “And love them. Even if- even if we don’t love each other anymore.”

“…Agreed,” Lisa mumbled, before sighing. “I- I have to go now, I only stopped in to see- to see how you are, after what Ethan- yeah.”

“Okay,” Janet said quietly. “Are you- are you meeting up with anyone?”

“Just a friend from work,” Lisa replied. “To answer what you were really asking, no, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”

“…Okay,” Janet mumbled. “Well- you take care of yourself. And if you do need- or even, you know, want to talk, you know where I am.”

“Okay,” Lisa whispered. “Goodbye, Janet. And- and good luck.”

“Thank you,” Janet whispered, before letting out a long, frustrated sigh as Lisa closed the door behind her. While Janet had long since abandoned any hope of reconciling with her ex-wife, Lisa’s departure felt to her like it had an extra layer of finality to it. It wouldn’t have surprised Janet if she’d never seen Lisa again, though it would have upset her- especially for the children’s sake. However, she was ultimately forced to concede that Lisa was a part of her past, and her focus should really be on her future- especially as the next person to walk through Janet’s door was her surgeon…

“So, there we all are,” Ellie said as she sat around a table in a coffee shop with all of her best friends that she'd made over her three years at college and university. “Our first lesson in the adult dance class. Three of us are stood there in leggings, sports bras and trainers. The other one of us, though, is wearing the full costume. Black leotard, pink tights, hair in a bun with a net over it, dance slippers tied to her feet with shiny ribbons.”

“…So I wanted to make a good impression,” Sade shrugged, her cheeks flushing as her friends all had a good-natured giggle at her expense.

“In all the times I’ve known you, I think I’ve maybe seen you wear a skirt twice,” Jade said. “Even today, when it’s, like, a million degrees, you’re wearing jeans.”

“I’m just more comfortable in jeans,” Sade shrugged. “Not everyone can be as uber-feminine as you, Jade!”

“Except maybe your sister!” Kacey teased the two blonde girls, who both giggled appreciatively.

“You do realise we’re taking that as a compliment, right?” Ellie asked.

“Well, duh?” Sade replied. “It was meant as a compliment? Besides which, didn’t you get a package in the post yesterday with ‘discount dance supplies’ written on it?” Ellie blushed and bit her lip to keep herself from giggling as her friend’s good-natured jeers turned in her direction.

“…Well, it was either that or steal one of your leotards,” Ellie said with a smug grin. “Though I’m drawing the line at pink tights.”

“For now, anyway,” Jade interjected, giggling as her sister gave her a gentle elbow in her ribs. “Ah, but it is SO much fun, though. Even if the teacher is a bit strict sometimes.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass,” Jodie chuckled. “Had enough of ‘school’ for one lifetime, hehe!”

“Where are you working now, Jode?” Monique asked.

“Still doing interviews,” Jodie sighed. “I mean, I was tempted by uni, but- nah. Not for me. I’d rather be earning money.”

“And be stuck indoors every day during summer?” Keira teased her friend, who rolled her eyes in reply.

“Are you definitely going to uni then, Keira?" Kacey asked her old school friend.

“Yep!” Keira replied with a grin. “Been accepted into Nottingham to study sports science."

“Ah, no way!” Monique squeaked. “I’m at Nottingham too!”

“Ah, cool!” Keira squeaked. “I’ve got someone to hang out with up there, hehe!”

“I’ll introduce you to the girls first chance I get,” Monique giggled. “Umm, no offence to you six, like, but-“

“You need friends when you’re up north at uni, I get it,” Ellie shrugged. “We can be, like, your London gang.”

“And up north, you can be, like, I dunno, Robin Hood and the merry women?” Jade shrugged. “Robyn with a Y, obviously, ‘cause, like, Nottingham?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Monique giggled. “And you four would be, what, the four danceketeers or something?”

“Four danceketETTES, thank you very much,” Sade retorted. “And we’re definitely going to have to make a trip up north if both of you are going to be there next year!”

“ALL of us,” Kacey said. “Especially us two cool ones, right Jodie?”

“Hell yeah!” Jodie giggled. “You can never have too many friends, right?”

“Yeah!” The eight young women all cheered, before relaxing back into their seats- though Ellie and Lindsay’s relaxation was short-lived when their phones both pinged to inform them of an incoming text message.

“Is- is that-?” Jade asked as her sister and her friend examined their phones.

“Yep,” Ellie replied. “Janet’s out of surgery, she’s awake… According to her, everything went perfectly.”

“She is in a lot of pain, though,” Lindsay said quietly. “But she knows it’ll pass.”

“More importantly,” Ellie said, “the worse pain she’s been in for, like, 45 years is over.”

“And you’ll be next,” Jade whispered, giving her sister’s hand a supportive squeeze. “And you won’t have to go through it alone, just like Janet didn’t.” Ellie smiled as she squeezed her sister’s hand back. When she’d first come out to her family, Ellie had had nothing. She’d lost her parents, her sibling, most of her friends, even a roof over her head. Three years on, however, and she had more than she’d ever dreamed of- a family who genuinely cared for her, a loving boyfriend, a younger sister- something that Ellie would never have dreamed was possible- and more friends than she’d ever had in her life. She was studying at university to get the career of her dreams, and she counted as a friend and a confidante one of the most famous singers in the whole of the UK. And she had Janet. A woman who was in as much distress as she was, but who opened up her home and her heart to a moody sixteen-year-old girl and helped mould her into the woman that Ellie had become. Ellie would always be grateful for what Janet had done and would always view her as her surrogate mother- just as Janet viewed her as her surrogate daughter.

Ellie knew that she was lucky to have the life she had. She knew that there were many transgender people who didn’t have the love and support that she had, and that at first, Janet had been one of those people- as had Ellie herself. Together with help from their ever-expanding pool of friends, they had been able to rebuild their lives, to be the women they were always destined to become. And while Ellie was envious of Janet’s operation, she wasn’t resentful like the ‘old Ellie’ would’ve been, because she knew that her time would come soon, and when it did, she would have all the support that Janet had had- and no one would support her more than Janet herself.

Nine days later, Ellie, Lindsay and all of their friends, along with Meredith, Shannon, Stephanie, Jamie and many more from Heavenly Talent were on hand to welcome Janet as she gingerly stepped out of the taxi outside her home.

“Welcome home!” Lindsay squeaked as she and Ellie helped the middle-aged woman walk up the path to the front door. “How are you feeling?”

“Still a little sore,” Janet replied. “But I’ll be fine. I’ve got all my exercises that I need to do, all my- well, all my ‘self-care’ items as well. I’m definitely feeling a lot better just from seeing all of you here today!”

“Glad to hear it,” Stephanie chuckled. “Though did you expect us to NOT be here?”

“Well… not really,” Janet chuckled. “And I do appreciate it, I really do, and I do genuinely love all of you.”

“We love you too,” Ellie whispered with an emotional smile. “…Mum.” Janet smiled and bit her lip to prevent the tears from flowing as she was escorted into her home, and her new life. She thought about how wonderful it was that modern medicine could allow two women such as her and Ellie to improve the bodies into which they were born to match who they truly were on the inside, and that they could live the lives they way they wished, as two independent, beautiful women. And not just women- as mother and daughter.

__________

SEVEN YEARS LATER

__________

“Relax, for god’s sake!” Janet chastised her daughter as she fiddled with her dress. “You look perfect, honestly.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Lindsay grunted. “It’s just this damned corset…”

“It’s for one afternoon only, you’ll live,” Ellie said, smirking as Lindsay rolled her eyes. “Besides which, it’s your wedding day! Got to endure a little discomfort to be the most beautiful bride ever, don’t you?”

“Well- I guess,” Lindsay replied with a nervous giggle. “And it’s not like I don’t have competition there, hehe!” Janet stood back and smiled as the two young women teased each other, just as they’d seemingly done every day for the previous seven years.

Janet’s recovery from her surgery had been slow but steady, and by the time September had rolled around, she was back on her feet and back behind her desk, marvelling at how the mere act of sitting down had changed, especially in her fitted skirt suits. Over time, the sensation of having a vagina between her legs had become so ordinary to Janet that there were days that she forgot she’d ever been anything other than a woman, even as she celebrated her fiftieth birthday surrounded by all of her friends and family- even her ex-wife.

While there was still a certain coldness to their relationship, for the children's sake, Janet and Lisa had agreed to try to put the past behind them and become civil toward each other, if not friendly. However, the love that they once shared proved to be gone for good- and even though she had long since become 'anatomically correct', Janet had had no sexual partners in the seven years since her operation. This didn't disappoint the middle-aged woman, though- after all, the whole point of the operation was that it was for her and her alone, not anyone else, and certainly not any hypothetical lovers, male or female.

While Janet was content to keep to herself, though, the same could not have been said about the young women she called both her friends and her family. Even though the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 and 2021 had put a crimp in their lifestyles, both Ellie and Lindsay had had active love lives, especially the former. Ellie and Oli had remained joined at the hip during the occasions they weren’t in lockdown, and the young man had spent all of his free time caring for Ellie following her SRS in summer 2021. Which made it all the less surprising when he proposed to Ellie mere weeks later- a proposal the blonde girl didn’t hesitate to accept. The wedding two years later had been a spectacular affair. Janet had wept buckets on that day, not least because Lindsay had looked almost as beautiful as Ellie in her bridesmaid’s dress- as had Jade, despite having only had her own SRS two months earlier. It came as no surprise to Janet that after Lindsay’s boyfriend proposed to her, she immediately chose the two sisters to be her bridesmaids, with Ellie fulfilling the role of maid of honour, as while Lindsay had no biological sisters, she, Ellie and Jade were sisters in all the ways that mattered. What did surprise Janet, however (though in hindsight, she realised there was no other choice), was who Lindsay chose to walk her down the aisle.

“Okay,” the twenty-five-year-old woman said, taking a deep breath as she lowered the veil of her elaborate white dress. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be, heh!”

“Good luck,” Jade whispered, giving the bride’s hand a gentle supportive squeeze. “And just think of it this way- all you have to do is get through today, then you’ll have two weeks’ honeymoon in Portugal to look forward to!”

“Yep, hehe!” Lindsay squeaked excitedly.

“While we’ll all be back at work on Monday,” Ellie said with a heavy sigh.

“I hope you’re not implying that you don’t like working for Stuart in his studios?” Janet asked the young blonde woman, who sighed and rolled her eyes.

“No, mum, you know I love it,” Ellie said, before giggling. “Though don’t tell him that, heh!”

“My lips are sealed,” Janet said, her heart warming as Ellie called her ‘mum’ despite the many thousands of times it had happened before . “Okay, let’s go.” Janet smiled as she extended the crook of her arm for Lindsay to take. Despite being a woman, she was still Lindsay’s father, and as such was only too happy to play the role of father of the bride- even if her suit was comprised of a smart pencil skirt and low-heeled court shoes instead of the usual father of the bride ensemble.

Janet’s life hadn’t been easy, and nor had Ellie's, but they had both found true happiness together as mother and daughter. And, as Janet mused as she walked Lindsay toward her future husband, maybe she would soon be a grandfather- or even also a grandmother…