I looked in the mirror. “You look good!” I said it out loud. I was wearing my mom’s slinky blue dress, her jewelry and her makeup. I was alone; Dad was at work and Mom was shopping. I continued, “God, why didn’t you make me a female?” Actually, I wasn’t far from it; I was short and thin with little body hair. The hair on my head was nice and thick and I kept it long. It was inevitable, however. Soon I would
be developing facial hair, body hair, and my voice would change. It made me sick to think about it.

God didn’t answer, but my best friend did. She had just come in the front door. “Aaron?”

“Back here Lisa…come on back!”

Lisa was my first cousin and my best friend. She was the only one I shared my secret with. A couple of years ago I began to feel I had to share with someone, and Lisa was the only person I trusted. She was supportive and, just as important, kept things between us confidential.

“Lookin’ good babe! Maybe I should let you do my makeup. When are we gonna buy you some of your own clothes. I’m going shopping now, come on!”

“Mom would see it on her bank card and ask me about it. I better change back into my own clothes. I don’t know when Mom might be home.”

“OK. I had to come by because you wouldn’t answer your phone.”

“I guess it’s on silent. I’ll fix that.”

“Please do. At least go shopping with me?

“Nah, I’m just not up to it.”

“A new dress would make you feel better. “I’ll look for one for you.”

“No…don’t!” My tone was not very convincing.

“OK. I promise.”

I knew her well enough to know that her promise could mean she was going to buy me a dress or she was not going to. Secretly, I wished she would, but I was sure if I had some girls’ clothing of my own, my mother would find them no matter where I tried to hide them.
Lisa left and I changed clothes.

I carefully put everything of my mom’s things back like I found them and put on my dreadful boy clothes.

I didn’t have a lot of friends, but I did have Lisa. She had lots of friends, and they seemed happy to accept me as a friend. I learned things they would never tell any other guy. Lisa was great looking, self-confident, and energetic. I never saw a situation that she couldn’t handle. We were good friends, but I secretly envied her. She seemed happy with her life. She always had time for me. Life in general seemed easier for girls. They could be mean, but they were generally nicer than boys. They also had more varied interests. All boys seemed to care about was sex. The girls would talk about one boy or another, but they would have been stunned if they knew the things the boys said about them. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them. Talk about stirring up a hornets nest!

School was tough. Every school day, I was exposed to the repulsive stench and sights of the boys’ locker room. Most of them seemed to be years ahead of me in physical development, with lots of body hair and enormous …um… members? I had little body hair and what you might call a “junior member”. I kept to myself, usually managed to be almost invisible, and get out of the locker room quickly.

Steve, one of the big guys asked me once if I was a “faggot”. I told him, “Actually, I’m not, but don’t you have a steady boyfriend already”? His buddies howled with laughter, and I was seconds away from getting an “ass kickin’”. He approached and I put my hands in front of me and said, “Hey, I’m not judging. Live like you wanna live.” The ass kickin’ was imminent, but Tim, who was even bigger than Steve, said, “Leave him alone”. Steve walked off muttering something about me not being “worth it”.

So, I could handle myself verbally. Physically, it was better to avoid conflict.

When my dad thought I was old enough, he showed me how to start the lawn mower. I didn’t have the strength to start it, so he started it for me. It was self-propelled, and I could manage to mow, but if the mower stopped, he would have to come out and start it again. My dad just said, “When you’re just a little bit older….” I really doubted I would ever be able to start that monster machine. I couldn’t pull the string with both hands. Also, the smell of it was offensive and the noise was scary.

On one of my attempts at lawn mowing, the mower spit out 2 or 3 pieces of a grass snake. I ran into the house, crying. I couldn’t tell my parents I was afraid of a grass snake…a dead one at that, so I told them I fell and hurt my back. Of course, I refused any treatment, and you can’t look at a person’s back and tell whether it hurts or not. I dried my tears like a brave little boy, and my dad finished the yard. I think he saw the dead snake and suspected something, but he said nothing. I didn’t walk in the grass for a long time, but my parents didn’t notice.

That was just one of the times I felt that my dad was disappointed in me. He never acted like it or said anything. I just felt it. He didn’t ask me to mow the lawn again. That was fine with me; I enjoyed helping my mom in the house. I never told my parents about my wish that I had been born a girl, but I didn’t dare verbalize that. I wasn’t sure what my parents would say, but I didn’t have the nerve to find out.

One day, I noticed my nipples were swelling. “Just my luck”, I thought, “how am I going to hide these in the locker room? “ My mom made me an appointment with the family doctor.

“Gynecomastia” was the doctor’s diagnosis. “No big deal; we see it in quite a few boys his age. It won’t last long … a few weeks or so. He’ll be fine. I could give him medication, but I don’t like to do that unless it’s absolutely necessary. I’ll write him a note so he doesn’t have to take P. E. That will protect him from any possible embarrassment.”

Excellent! It was May, and when the next school year started I would be boob-free, taller, heavier and developed in other ways. P.E. was a waste of time for me anyway. I was hopeless at sports. When it came football time in P.E., the other boys all wanted to be some kind of “back”. “I’ll be quarterback.” “I’ll be halfback.” What did it mean? I was clueless. Maybe I was supposed to “one-eighth back.” I knew little about football, but I cared even less, if that was possible. Being excused from P.E. would enable me to go to study hall while the others sweated playing their beloved, stupid game. The small amount of homework the teachers gave could easily be finished there, leaving after school completely free. Now, if my nipples stayed swollen until I graduated in a couple of years, I’d be home free.

Well, my nipples stayed swollen. Not only that, but fatty tissue developed behind them. I was growing real breasts! One day, my mom came into my room right after I took my shirt off. “Aaron, honey, do you want….” The look on her face was priceless. She was speechless.

“Not polite to stare, mom.”

She finally regained her composure. “Honey, you’re going back to the doctor.” She pointed to my chest. “This is not normal.”

“Aw, mom, he said it would go away.”

It was useless to argue with my mom. I heard her in the kitchen talking to my dad. I got an appointment for the next afternoon.

I hated going to the doctor because the wait was long and boring. If you wanted to read, you could get the scoop from the magazine. Well, maybe not exactly the current scoop, but you could be amused by articles such as, “Why Hillary is destined to be President”. I guess that journalist is embarrassed now.

When I finally got in a room, it was another half-hour wait. The doctor came in and had me take off my shirt. He didn’t seem surprised at all to see my healthy boobs. That was a relief, but I suppose he was trained to avoid such reactions. “I’d like to do some bloodwork and some other tests.”

A nurse came into the room and stuck a pencil-sized needle in my arm. I sat perfectly still and stared at the blood flowing into the vial. After a few seconds the nurse said sternly, “Breathe!”

I hate needles.

There were other tests, then we left…still no medication. I headed straight for bed, exhausted from guinea pigging.

Friday of that week school was out for a “Teachers’ Workday”. I was awakened by my cell phone impatiently buzzing about a new text message. Lisa wanted to spend the day together. A lot of people would think it weird that my BF is a girl; but being cousins made it somewhat OK. We had similar feelings on a lot of things and really felt comfortable together.

Things were soon to change, anyway. My dad was getting a promotion at work and we would be moving almost 200 miles. We would still be in Texas, though.

At ‘The Most Important Meal of the Day’ I consumed enough calories to last me a week, then went back to my room to get ready to go to Lisa’s house. Just then, however, my mom knocked on my door. “Honey, please come to the kitchen for a minute. We’d like to talk to you just a little.” What had I done? I searched my brain’s memory banks found nothing punishable. I was rarely punished, because I rarely did anything punishable.

My dad sat at the kitchen table expressionless with his arms folded. I sat at the table across from him. My mom sat down and began, “Honey, when a baby is born, the first thing people notice is the sex of the child. It’s easy to determine, but someone in the room is sure to comment, ‘It’s a girl.’ or ‘It’s a boy’. I say ‘easy to determine’, because it usually is easy. Sometimes, however, it’s not so easy. In cases like that, the ‘diagnosis’ can be incorrect.”
“Mom, you’re not talking about me, right? Are you trying to tell me y’all thought I was a girl?”

“No, honey, we thought you were a boy….”

“But I am a…. Wait … You thought …. OK … this makes no sense at all. You thought I was a boy … I am a boy … so what’s the problem?”
“It’s called ‘anomalous genitalia’. You have two “X” chromosomes and all the internal organs of a female, but as you grew in the womb you developed a small semblance of a penis and testicles.”

“I’m a girl?” My heart was pounding and I felt my face turning red.

“Honey, I know it’s a shock. It’s a life changer. You could try to continue living as a boy, but you would have to have major surgery to remove your reproductive organs, then you would need hormone therapy to cause your body to develop male characteristics. Otherwise your body would continue to develop as a female. The doctor says that medically, the best course of action is to remove the superfluous tissue and allow you to develop as a female. The doctor gave me the name of a counselor. It might help to talk to someone like that.”

“Mom … this is insane!” My mind was racing as I went through the thousands of changes I would have to endure. Clothing was a big one. School? Oh…crap! I just show up in a dress? The scenario was as scary as it was predictable. Dating guys? Nope … can’t do it! Marriage … in a wedding gown … to a guy? Never! Wait … I can get pregnant! I had heard some incredible things before, but I was facing something more unreal than any of them! I felt trapped. There was no escape. The hormones produced in my body would cause people around me to witness as I turned from a boy to a girl.

I heard a voice from somewhere. Oh, it was my mom! “… working in your favor. Your dad’s transfer at work is scheduled for May. You can finish the school year as you are. You can have surgery and take the summer to adapt. In September, you can start fresh in a new town … new school. It will be a big adjustment for your dad and me, also. We have a daughter instead of a son. We have always had a daughter, but we tried to raise you as a boy. Also, you can be a mom, but not a dad...biologically.

Strangely, I wanted to giggle at that moment. I stifled that and looked at my dad. He was still sitting quietly and I turned to him. “Dad … help?”

“Son … uh … daughter …” he smiled, “We got this information yesterday and I was angry and wanted to blame someone. I wasn’t angry about having a daughter instead of a son. I was angry that the doctors misled us, causing you years of pain trying to fit in. I tried in my mind to blame the doctors, your mom, even you. I finally realized that, if it is anyone’s fault, it doesn’t matter. From this point, what you need is support, not accusations or ridicule. I also want you to realize that you are not at fault in any way. I also want you to know that our love for you is unconditional. We want to help you adjust to the changes coming your way. I loved my son from the day he was born, and now I love my daughter from the day she was born … actually the same day. I think we all see things coming into focus now…things that we didn’t even know were out of focus! Can I say now that you weren’t much of a boy…too feminine? I never would have said that before today, but it’s actually a compliment. Any girl would have a hard time trying to fit in as a boy. You probably did better than some. There may be some tough times ahead, but your mom and I will help you any way we can. By the way, you are exempt from lawn mowing effective immediately. I’ll take care of the lawn…and the grass snakes.” He smiled again…a “yes, I knew” smile.

“Thanks, dad.”

Mom spoke again, “Well, we’ve given you a lot to absorb. Take some time to think. We love you and will help you any way we can. You can choose to continue living as a boy, but the doctor strongly discouraged that.”

I went to my room, plopped across the bed, and thought. This was too much. Even though I had thought maybe should have been born a girl, I had never given serious thought to it…never had a reason to. Once the doctor says, “It’s a boy”, your path in life is limited to certain parameters. But now the doctor was saying, in effect, “Oops!”, and I would pay the price for his little oversight. I now had to step over the line and take on a new set of expectations…both of myself and others. I thought about a line from the movie Some Like it Hot, “I tell you… it’s a whole different sex.” With all these thoughts swirling through my brain, I cried. Was I angry? ...happy? ...what? I was confused. I decided to stop my crying and think logically. “Make this a good thing”, I thought. No more mowing the lawn. No more smelly, filthy boy’s locker room. Plus, I won’t have to sneak into my mom’s room and borrow my mom’s clothing. But my wish was to be a girl from the start, not to change in mid-stream. Oh, well…this was good, too. I got off my bed, stood looking in the mirror with my hands on my hips. Aloud, I said, “OK, dummy, you wanted to be a girl, right? Let’s enjoy this.”

Mom tapped lightly on my bedroom door and stuck her head in. “I didn’t want to say this in front of your dad, but now you can get your own dresses and makeup.” She smiled and winked.

“Thanks, mom.”

She knew all along!

Mom mentioned a counselor. I didn’t need a counselor; I needed my very best friend. Lisa’s text was still unanswered, so I typed “OMW” and started out for her house.

Lisa’s mom was gone. The door was unlocked, as usual, and I went in and made my way to her room.

“Hey Aaron … Wow! What’s the matter?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Nothing … why? Everything is normal….”

“Oh, come on Aaron, you’re all flushed! Your eyes...Have you been crying? Are you OK?”

“I’m not sure. I have the most unbelievable thing to tell you!”

“You definitely have my attention!”

“Lisa, when I share this with you, I’m going to trust that it doesn’t go any farther.”

“You got it! What is it?”

“That answer was too quick. I’ll repeat; when I share this with you, I’m going to trust that it doesn’t go any farther.”

“Wow! OK! I promise. I’ll carry this secret to the grave.”

“OK. After I tell you, I think you’ll understand why discretion is so important. I’ll start like this: Lisa, what if I was a girl?”

“You’re gonna do it!”

“What?”

“A sex change!”

“No. I’m a girl already.”

“Yeah, I know. Your body is male, but inside you’re a female.”

“Well, yes and no! Yes, it was a secret…even from me.”

“Ok, Aaron, you’re killing me!”

“Well, Lisa, it’s kind of like that ... but not the way you think.” I explained “anomalous genitalia”, and told her about my breast growth, etc.

She thought a few seconds, then her eyes lit up. She looked at her cell phone. “Yep, I should have known. Aaron, I’ve always thought your parents were pretty cool, but this really tops it. They had you going … me too for a little bit!”

“Lisa … this is serious! What are you talking about?”

“Think, Aaron. What day is it?”

I had to pull out my cell phone to find the date… “Fri, Apr 01”

My heart sank. “Damn! … I fell for it. Wait, Lisa, I don’t think they would do something like this for April fool’s day!”

“Let’s call and make sure!” She punched some keys on her cell and waited. “Aunt Kim? Nice try, but Aaron and I are on to your little joke!”
She paused and I watched her face as she went from a smile to a serious expression. “Yes, she told me…really?... Seriously!? … Oh, I’m so sorry we…. It doesn’t seem possible. Of course I won’t. My lips are sealed. OK. I apologize, Aunt Kim. Thank you. Bye.”

She disconnected and put the phone down. Her eyes were wide with disbelief.

“I didn’t think so. Now you can see how important it is not to tell anyone. Can you imagine what would happen at school?”
Lisa sat … stunned. It seemed like forever, but finally she spoke, “Oh my God! Yeah, but my lips are sealed. Gonna be tough, but I can do it!”

“Thanks, Lisa.”

“So, Aaron, I’ll bet you’re happy!”

“Lisa, it’s beyond my control anyway, so I’ll treat it as an adventure!”

“You don’t fool me! You’re glad! Wow! I can’t believe this! Don’t take this the wrong way, but it explains a lot. I kind of sensed something. It’s hard to explain. You’re so different from other guys. I guess I should say ‘you’re different from guys’. When you told me the guys might think you were gay because your best friend is a girl, I thought ‘That would be easy to believe.’ Please … no offense intended. A girl pretending to be a boy is a tough sell … almost as tough as the reverse. The times at the mall that I almost suggested we shop for clothes or jewelry. You’re feminine! You’re supposed to be feminine! I can say that now. So, you have two ‘X’ chromosomes? Can I see them?” She smiled. ”Just kidding.”

“OK!” Let me get them.” I reached partially down the front of my pants. “Seriously there’s not a “Y” chromosome in this room right now. From what I’m told I’m just as much girl as you.”

“OK Erin,” she was careful to feminize my name. She fell back on her bed. “This is unbelievable! What are you going to do about school?”

“My dad is getting transferred to Houston in June. I’ll finish this year like nothing happened, and start a new school in September. I’ll have the summer to ‘transition’.”

“No Erin! Don’t go! I don’t wanna lose you now!” She had known about the move for a while, and knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything it, but she was more than just my cousin, she was a real friend and she hated to see me go.

“Lisa, would you come spend the summer with me.”

“Are you kidding?! We are going to have so much fun…and…” she pulled an imaginary zipper across her lips. I knew I could trust her. If she betrayed that trust, the loss of her friendship, not to mention a rift in the family, would be worse than any repercussions at school. “I have to explain to my mom, though. She would never let me go spend the summer with a boy...cousin or not. Oh, Erin, this is going to be so cool!”

“Yeah.” My mind was wandering to visualize how the summer would be. It would be good to have her with me.

She walked toward her closet. “You’re going to have to quit cross dressing. I can’t imagine having to wear boys’ clothing 24/7. Let me get you something cute to wear. OK?”

“Sure!”

“’Sure’? You’re ready to go!”

“I decided to make this something positive. The things you said about me being feminine. Everything falls into place now.”

“Great…you’ll be so cute!” She paused and sat on the bed. “This is unreal! It’s like…you’re a whole different person! Want to know a secret? I kind of thought I might be in love with you! You’re a really wonderful person. Maybe I am in love with you! She smiled and went to her closet and began going through her wardrobe and pulled out a beautiful baby blue top with ruffles around the shoulders and neck. She laid it across her bed and opened a box in the corner marked “Goodwill”. “You’re lucky this stuff hasn’t gone to Goodwill yet. I have a couple of training bras…yes!” She pulled out a bra with almost no cups. “Hope you haven’t developed too much for this.” She found some panties and some jeans to complete the outfit. “Try these on. If you’re shy, go into the bathroom and change. I have some jewelry also. See? You should have gotten your ears pierced!”

“Yeah, but who knew?”

I went into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror until she called out,” What’s the holdup, Aaron…Erin?”

“Ok. I’m changing!” The bra was a pull-on stretch bra, so I didn’t have to struggle with connecting it behind my back, and it fit my developing breasts. It was strange to think that, instead of disappearing, my little boobies would be growing to…who knows how big! The panties easily hid my fake boy parts. The top buttoned opposite from what I was accustomed to, which felt strange. It fit a little tight and bragged, “Look at this waistline and eat your heart out! When I pulled up the jeans, they fit my bottom and legs nice and snug. I looked in the mirror again. I realized that I liked what I saw! I involuntarily said, “You’re really cute!”

“What’s that ... are you done?” Lisa was growing impatient.

“I’m done! Get ready!” I slowly opened the door and half expected to hear Lisa laugh. Instead, her jaw dropped. “Erin, you are beautiful! She reached out and put her hands on my waist and leaned back slightly. “Oh my God, how did I miss this? It’s like I had my eyes closed. Sit down and let me brush your hair.” She brushed my hair while watching my face in the mirror. I could see that she was having a good time. She kept repeating, “Beautiful”.

“Let me get you some shoes and we’ll go show your parents how good you look.”

“Lisa, I don’t….”

“What? It’s not like you’re cross-dressing or something. Actually, you’re not cross-dressing for the just about the first time. What’s the problem with a girl looking like a girl?”

Lisa had impeccable logic. I put on her white sandals and a necklace and we headed toward my (luckily nearby) home.

My dad’s car was gone. Most likely, he was gone to his office. The company seemed to need him 24 hours a day. My mom was fighting with a vacuum cleaner hose. When we walked into the room, she looked up and dropped her work. The vacuum cleaner hose vomited dust onto the carpet. She ignored it and looked me over. “My goodness, we’re progressing quite quickly, aren’t we?”

Lisa took the lead, “What do you think, Aunt Kim?”

“I think she’s beautiful! She has trusted you with this information. You realize the importance of keeping this to yourself?”

“Don’t worry, Aunt Kim.” She repeated her pretend lip zipper.

“You’re going to school like this?”

“No, Mom. I don’t think school is ready for this.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Mom, I want to ask you something.”

“Go ahead, honey.”

“Can Lisa spend the summer with us if it’s OK with her mom?”

“Honey, I don’t…oh.” She put her face in her hands. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I forgot. This is going to take a lot of getting used to! Of course,
we’d be glad to have her. I’ll talk to her mom. I think Lisa could probably help you a lot.”

“Yeah, Mom, Lisa would be more helpful than a counselor.”

“Aaron, let me look at you.”

Lisa spoke up, “It’s pronounced ‘Erin’, Aunt Kim.”

“’Erin’…yes, that’s nice. Do you like it honey?”

“It’s OK, but I think the most beautiful name on earth is ‘Amie’. It’s French for ‘friend’, so it’s not just beautiful, it has meaning.”

“You want to keep the middle name ‘Taylor’”?

“No, mom, I think I’d like something more feminine. I like granny’s middle name, ‘Abigale’”.

“Wow, good for you! You’ll be a strong woman! I’m not even going to make suggestions, you’re more than capable of coming up with your own name. Everyone should be so lucky. ‘Amie Abigale Brooks’, that’s pretty. I could just kill those people at the hospital. I guess medical school teaches everything except how to tell a boy from a girl! But you look really nice, honey. What’s the plan for today, girls?”

“Well, Erin…Amie is going to need some clothes….” Lisa’s voice trailed off.

“Ah, no problem. You’ll need my debit card and a ride to … where?”

“I thought a resale shop, but not the one just down the street. Maybe one kind of far … you know? We’ll get more ‘bang for the buck at a resale shop.” Lisa was right, and I felt gratitude for her friendship. It suddenly seemed so sad that we would be moving away.

“OK. Let me put this work away. I’ll drop y’all off. I’m sure y’all are capable of handling this. Thank you so much, Lisa, for your help. Feel free to treat yourself if you find something you like.”

“Thanks, Aunt Kim, but it’s Amie’s day. She won’t have a problem finding something that looks good on her.”

Mom hugged me. “My dear Amie, I hope you’re happy. You’re so cute, and I think you should treat this as an adventure. It’s an adventure that is very rare.”

“Thanks, Mom. That’s exactly what I thought!”

Mom shoved the vacuum aside, grabbed her purse and gave me a purse she wasn’t using any more, and we got in the car and headed out for my adventure at the resale shop. It was not really far … just far enough from our part of town to lessen the chance of running into someone we knew. We pulled out in front and Lisa offered to go in first to see whether there was anyone there that we’d rather not see. She went in and, after a couple of minutes she came to the front window of the store and waved for me to come in.

“Bye Mom. Thanks.”

“Bye, Honey. Now … you can buy anything you want except the building.” She smiled.

“OK, Mom. We’ll call.”

She left and I went into the store. Apparently, early afternoon was a slow period for this establishment. There were only 3 other customer. There were two women shopping together and a grungy middle aged guy who probably just went in to escape the Texas heat.

So, we shopped. It goes without saying that this clothes shopping was different from any I had done before. In the past, when my mom would take me shopping and it seemed like they never had my size…or rather my shape. Pants would be too small in the hips and thighs, and too large in the waist. All but the smallest boys’ shirts were too large. Shoes were OK; because they always had plenty room for my tiny feet.
I thought of Copernicus. Strange … right? But, we had just been studying about him. In his time, astronomers thought the sun and other planets revolved around the Earth. So, they made their charts, graphs, etc. to project future locations of the heavenly bodies. When the heavenly bodies refused to cooperate, they revised their figures … only to have those pesky heavenly bodies go astray once more. Well, when Copernicus convinced them that the sun was the center of the solar system, everything worked. This shopping trip was working out because we had corrected one major assumption. Not everything fit, but at least the clothes were shaped right.

When we were done, the basket was so full I was embarrassed. I had jeans, dresses, skirts, and a multitude of sleeveless tops. None of it was the tiniest bit masculine. Lisa said there would be no, “Is that a boy or a girl?” That made me feel better. All the clothes would have to go into the closet until June, though.

Monday had me back at school trying to pretend nothing was different. I imagined kids were looking at me and whispering. I was sure they were saying, “Hey, did you hear, he’s really a girl!”

I was standing at my locker, catching my breath, when Lisa showed up. She made a fist and lightly hit me on the arm. “What’s up, dude?” She
smiled, “or whatever!”
“Lisa … hush!”

“Oh, Aar…Amie. Nobody heard me. Are you paranoid?”

“I just feel like everybody’s staring at me!”

“Hey! That hurts my feelings!”

“Why?”

“If they’re staring, they know somethings different. If that’s the case, it means I told somebody. I hope you trust me more than that!”

“I don’t think you would tell anybody.”

“Well, don’t worry. Nobody is going to know anything … unless you pull those 2 ‘X’ chromosomes out of your pants. She looked down toward my pants and smiled.”

“Sorry, Lisa. I’m just being silly. I’ll be so glad when June gets here.”

“I talked to my mom about the summer. She was surprised! Can you imagine that? She’s going to talk to your mom. So you’ll be glad when June gets here? You’re really looking forward to this!”

“Yes, I am. Now that I know what I am, I feel like a lot of things will fall into place for me.”

“I think you’re right. Welcome to the other side.”

My paranoia dissipated somewhat. I realized that no one knew anything about my news, and I made a conscious effort to ignore them when they seemed to be watching me or whispering about me. I had to ignore them if I was going to make it to June. But if and when I did make it to June, I had another problem...dating. Maybe I knew too much about the way guys were, but I couldn’t see having a relationship with a guy. The idea of kissing a guy made me shudder. I would date Lisa, but society wouldn’t be happy with that. I had never seen her date anyone, but it never occurred to me to wonder why. I decided to put the dating issue from my mind indefinitely.

My hair was longer than it had ever been. In June, I would get it styled. No one said anything, but I usually got stares about my long hair. That was the least of my concerns.

The months of April and May were the longest I had ever endured. My dad actually began his new job in the second week of May. He had leased a house (with an option to buy) and my mom and I were just waiting for the end of school to make the move. The movers moved everything except some essentials we had set aside. May 31 was the last day of school. We were dismissed at noon, and Mom, Lisa and I headed out for Houston.

The sun was at our backs as we headed east that evening. On the radio, The Eagles’ “Take it to the Limit” played. The words “all alone at the end of the evening” always made me sad. I thought of Glenn Frey, who had died not too long before. It seemed to always be that way: when I’m sad, my mind wanders to things that make me sadder. I was leaving everything familiar behind. A new, bigger house brought me no relief. A new school brought only anxiety. I sat with my face to the car window. My only comfort at the moment was being with Mom and Lisa. Neither of them knew I was on the verge of tears. I hoped I would be ready when it came time for Lisa to leave me in September. I doubted it.

We got into Houston early in the afternoon, but it looked like the rush hour was already underway. Luckily we were going into town and most of the traffic was headed out. After exiting the freeway and making numerous twists and turns, we were home. We pulled into the driveway that must have been a quarter of a mile long. The house was a great distance from the road and huge oak trees shaded the massive yard.
I was incredulous, “Mom, are you sure this is it?”

“Yes, honey. Your dad said it was big, but I’m a little surprised myself!”

The house was huge. Behind the main house was another residence that was larger than most people could ever hope to live in. My mom explained that the house was very old and the extra house once served as the servants’ quarters.

“Well, “Lisa spoke up from the back seat, “I think I know how to do servant work.”

Mom had stopped the car. Before she got out, she turned around to look at Lisa. “You and your mom would both be welcome Lisa, but I’m sure your mom would be hesitant to move.”

“It’s not like she’s tied down by her job. She works online, you know.”

Mom looked puzzled. “She does that full time now?”

“Yes, ma’am … She was doing so well with her online business that she quit her job with the law firm.”

“She’s really lucky, “my mom said thoughtfully.
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We climbed the stairs of the high porch, and Mom punched in a code and pushed on the giant door and pushed. The door opened smoothly without a sound. The living room was as large as a small gymnasium. There was no carpet, and echoes answered our every footstep and every syllable we uttered.

“Can we get carpet, mom?”

“I’m thinking more along the lines of large rugs. I hate to completely cover this beautiful wood flooring. Go upstairs and pick a bedroom, honey.”
Lisa and I headed up to the second floor; we were surprised to find that the stairs continued to a third floor. “Dad must be doing OK at work”, I told her. Everything was oversized. The stairs were about eight feet wide, the ceilings were … way up there. I found my room. It, too, was oversized. I turned to Lisa. “You gotta come to stay.”

“Hey … I’m ready. Once my mom sees this, she will be also!”

“Lisa, this house is too big for three people, and then there’s a separate house in the back! It would just be a sin if y’all don’t come and live here!”

I opened the closet and found dozens of outfits … girls’ outfits, of course. Mom must have sent them by dad when he moved.
“Change clothes, Amie. We’ll burn those boy clothes!”

She was serious. She picked out panties, a bra, and a dress for me. “Why a dress? You’re wearing jeans.”

“Have to get you accustomed to your new gender.” She handed me a pair of pumps.

“Why the heels?”

“So you can learn how to walk in them. By the way, they’re not technically ‘heels’”.

I put on the dress and shoes, stood up, and started walking. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

“Keep your feet horizontal. Point your toes when you take a step. Relax your hips put the palms of your hands forward. This will make it almost impossible to walk like a boy.”

She was right. I was walking like a girl naturally.

“Most importantly, don’t be self-conscious. People will never think you’re a boy, but be able to see your self-consciousness and wonder why. As your hips develop, your walk will become even more natural.”

My mom poked her head in the door, “I’m going to take a shower. You girls look around if you want to. Oh, that’s cute, Amie.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I turned to Lisa, “Let’s explore!”

As we headed down the stairs we heard a car door close. Lisa peeked through the shades. “It’s your dad.”

“Oh, no, He’s never seen me like this!”

“So what? He’ll get used to it.”

We stood in the living room. My dad didn’t see us at first. Finally, he looked up. “Oh, hi girls. Glad y’all finally got here.” He hugged Lisa and kissed me on the cheek. “Where’s your mom?”

“She’s taking a shower. Dad?”

“What!”

“You didn’t say anything about my clothes.”

He smiled. “You’re very pretty uh…Amie. I didn’t want to make you self-conscious. He hugged me again. “You’re my beautiful daughter.”

Suddenly, I burst into tears!

My dad frowned. “What is it? You’re acting like a girl…oh, yeah! He smiled again. It’s OK, honey. I’m sure it’s stressful.” My dad held me as I sobbed. I couldn’t explain it. It was so good to see my dad after 2 weeks, but I was exhausted from the trip. The clothes were symbolic in a way. I was a boy for almost 14 years, but I had just taken off the last boy clothing I would ever wear. I had left my home behind, but I was happy. I had a beautiful new home, a new life, and three people who loved me and supported me in a trying time.

I finally stopped crying. “I’m OK, dad. We’re going to explore the house, OK?”

“Sure Amie … Lisa … have fun!”

We ran back upstairs to explore. “One thing, Amie…when a guy hugs you, put your arms around his neck. It’s more natural it makes your bodies fit together. Now, that rule is for if your hugging someone that you actually want to hug. If it’s some asshole just wants a hug to cop a feel, put your arms around his chest or waist and keep a distance between your bodies. He’ll get the message.”

“There seems to be a lot to learn.”

“A lot of it will come naturally. Also, watch your posture. You’re proud to be a woman! You’re not some wimpy little girl waiting for Prince Charming!”

“You’re right about that! I’m not waiting for Prince Charming.”

“Great. You don’t have to, but someday you just might find a guy worthy of you.”

“Problem is…I won’t be attracted to him.”

“Stranger things have happened!”

“Yeah, in fairy tales!”

We continued our tour and found a swimming pool with a clear covering surrounded by an 8 foot privacy fence between the main house and the “servants’ quarters”. It seemed to be in good shape, but filthy. I told Lisa, “Oh, dear, my dad has got to get someone to get this in working order like…yesterday. We also have to get bikinis!”

“Why”? responded Lisa, “This is so private it could be clothing optional.”

“Well, maybe after my little operation.”

As we walked the halls and peered into various rooms, I told Lisa, “I’ve made up my mind. You and your mom have got to come live here. You can live in the main house, or the other house. It doesn’t matter. I need you here!”

“Done, well…almost done. We just have to tell my mom our plans for her. She can’t stand against the two of us when we set our minds toward a goal. She has no reason to stay in crappy Austin, anyway!”

Mom’s voice came from downstairs, “Girls, clean up and let’s go out to eat. Put on something nice. It’s a ritzy place.”

“Acid test!” said Lisa, “you have to eat like a girl!”

I looked at her…mouth opened. “It’s different?”

“Not that much. Just eat a little neater, slower and mind your manners.”

We headed toward my bedroom to clean up.

When we got into my room, Lisa stripped down. She seemed totally unaware of my staring.

“Guests shower first. Pick out something really cute, OK?” She stopped. “What?”

I couldn’t help staring at her body. “Lisa, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful!”

“Aaron … Amie! I barely have boobs. I have a ways to go!”

“You’re off to a good start!”

““Thank you. You’re off to a good start to lesbian…hood? ism? Whatever! That’s cool. Boys are overrated! Of course, I wouldn’t have told you that a year ago. Look, stand here.” She placed me in front of the mirror and stood next to me. We were both in just bra and panties. Look at our bodies. We’re cookie cutter twins.”

She was right. Our bodies were very similar. “You’re right! I don’t take it back. You’re beautiful! But, what you said about boys….”

“They’re OK, but they’re not all that. Sometimes they’re more trouble than they’re worth.”

“Are you a les….?” I let my voice trail off.

“Who knows? Your house is not the only thing I’ve been exploring.”

“Cool. Too bad we’re cousins.”

“I was thinking the same thing, but that would just be gross…somehow. Let me shower now. We’ll shower separately…this time. She winked.”
After seeing Lisa nude, I knew there would be no boys for me. I had seen enough naked boys for a lifetime. I couldn’t stop thinking about how
beautiful Lisa was. I lay across the bed listening to the water running. I thought to myself, “Maybe I’ll meet a nice girl.”

She came out of the shower and I started in. “I’ll set you out some clothes.” This meant, “You’ll wear what I tell you to wear”. I didn’t mind. She had very good taste.

When I stepped out of the shower she had a beautiful dress and some heels set out for me. “You did OK with the pumps. I don’t think you’ll have a problem with heels.”

She was dressed similarly so I wouldn’t be self-conscious. She brushed my hair and put some clips in it. She made up my face a little. When she was done, a beautiful teenaged girl who I barely recognized looked back at me from the mirror.

We finished cleaning up and got into the car with my parents.

We pulled up at the restaurant and a valet took our car. Once inside, I looked at the menus. There were a lot of choices, but one thing was missing. “Dad, there are no prices on the menu.”

My dad smiled. If you have to ask the price, you can’t afford it.

“…and we can?”

“We’re doing OK.” He smiled and winked at my mom.

Lisa spoke up. “Wow. Y’all are rich! Can I be rich, Uncle Dave?”

He looked at Lisa. “Lisa, you and your mom are family. If we’re doing OK…y’all are doing OK.”

That’s my dad! He had always been kind and generous. Apparently he now had the means to be very generous.

“Dad, I know you must have gotten a gigantic raise to move us into River Oaks. Can you give me a hint how you pulled it off?”

“Oh, a little invention of mine helped.”

“Can you tell us about it?”

“Sure!” He took out a pencil and notepad and drew a circle. “I call it a ‘wheel’. It’s circular in shape…”

“Aw, dad … seriously!”

He put away the pencil and pad. “OK, it’s a procedure I came up with that will greatly speed up the process of mapping the human genome.”

Lisa’s eyes widened, “Wow! You’re working with genes?”

I was amazed myself, “So, you patented this…procedure?”

“No, the patent is in the company’s name.”

“WHAT?”, Lisa and I said in unison.

“Oh, yes. It’s a requirement of employment. Things like this stay with the company. You see, I developed it on company time with company
equipment. I could hardly do it at home. I don’t have a few necessary tools, you know, I don’t have an electron microscope…stuff like that.”

“Wow, that’s too bad. You could’ve been a bgzillionaire!” I could almost see dollar signs in Lisa’s eyes.

“No. There’s no way I could have gotten the patent on my own. The company would have sued me, they would have won. I would be looking for a job and a way to pay a “bgzillion” dollar settlement. Besides, I did sign an employment contract. I want my word to be worth something. Let me tell you, though, the company was not shy about financially rewarding me. Hence, the move to company headquarters, the huge raise, and the resulting move to River Oaks in our beautiful old new house. I’m now working in one of the most advanced, well equipped labs anywhere in the world. This is actually better than hiring a large team of lawyers to get my own patent, hiring someone to market the procedure, hiring more lawyers to sue when someone ignores the patent. All these headaches belong to the company. You might say I belong to the company, but I didn’t come cheap. I hope to be with this company until they wheel me out in a wheelchair…or a coffin.”

Words could not express how proud I was of my dad!

Mom apparently didn’t like the idea of him working ‘forever’. “Davey, you could retire in 10 years easily.”

“I guess you’re right. I have a nice porch. I just need a rocking chair. Let’s not worry about this tonight. I think that waiter coming has our food.”

Our food arrived, and I bit into the biggest, most tender steak I had ever eaten. “Dad, I could get used to this!”

“Go ahead, honey! I am so blessed! Aside from the job stuff, I have a brand new daughter. Incidentally, my new daughter is a beauty.”

“Thanks, dad. If I’m ever as pretty as Lisa, I will be thrilled!”

Lisa spoke up. “I was just thinking, ‘I’ll bet I’m the second prettiest girl in our new school...oops!” She put her hand to her mouth.

“Well,” said Dad as he looked at my mom. “This is news! So when is my beloved sister-in-law moving?”

“It’s news to me too!” my mom said. “Have you spoken to her?”

“No,” said Lisa matter-of-factly, “it will be news to her, too.”

“Dad…mom”, I interjected, “it would be so much help to me to have Lisa here. She been a girl for a while, you know.”

Dad smiled. “Kim, I’ll leave it to you and Shelly to work that out. You know, your sister is more than welcome, and I’m sure she would be a great help to Aaron…excuse me…Amie.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“You know, Aaron…Amie, I’ve never been an outdoorsman or sportsman. I worried that you were missing out on a lot of the things that other boys do with their dads. All that seems so unimportant now.”

“Dad, I never liked a lot of that stuff, anyway. The only sport I ever liked is volleyball, and most people seem to think it’s OK for girls to play volleyball.”

“Honey, you can play any sport you want. Just as importantly, you can ignore any sport you don’t want to play. Here’s one more thing…I’ll never ask you to mow the lawn again. Actually, I won’t have to mow it, either. I don’t have the time or the mower. It’s going to take a crew to mow our new lawn.”

“Thanks again, dad. You probably would have been embarrassed if you had tried to get me to play a lot of those sports. Have you seen me
throw a ball?”

“Actually, Amie, I’ve seen you throw a ball. I thought, ‘He throws like a girl! ‘. Of course I never would have said that then. I guess it’s OK now. You seem perfectly happy with this change.” He smiled.

Lisa spoke up, “Even I throw a ball better than her. A boy throwing like she throws would be downright embarrassing!”
“Hey…shut up!” I said smiling.

My mom glanced at my dad and said, “One nice thing about being a girl is, if you need a ball thrown, you can get a guy to throw it for you.
Pretty girls like y’all will have guys standing in line to do your ball-throwing for you.”

“Ewww…mom! I’ll just let the ball stay where it is!”

“Yes, I guess it is a bit much to ask you to suddenly stop looking at girls and say, “Oh, look…don’t you think he’s cute?”

“Yes, mom. It’s gross!”

“Well, honey, it OK. You like whomever you like.”

“Yeah, “my dad interjected, “I like girls…women!”

“…and I’m glad of it,” my mom said, acting relieved. “Just don’t like them too much.”

“I like you best!” He kissed my mom on the cheek.

“Y’all get a room! I can handle this dress, the heels, the makeup, the hair, and everything that goes with it, but y’all are about to embarrass me!”

“You’re lucky”, said Lisa. “My parents would be going to fist city by now!”

“I’m sorry, dear.” My mom reached out and touched Lisa’s hand. “No word from your dad?”

“No.” Lisa looked sad. “I didn’t like the fights, but sometimes I miss him, you know?”

“It’s natural, honey. I’m so sorry. It hurts me to see what you and my sister have gone through. I wish there was an answer.”

My dad had lost his smile. “I know it’s natural for a girl to miss her dad, but I don’t think Joe deserves you or your mom. Look at how he treated
y’all! I hate to see you pining for him. Even though he’s your dad, Lisa, I think he should stay gone. Coming back now would only open old wounds, and he wouldn’t stay long. You can count on that. We love you and your mom and, the more I think about it, the more I would like to see y’all move down here with us.”

Lisa smiled. “You mean ‘up’”?

“What?”

“Houston is farther north than San Antonio.”

My dad shook his head and smiled. “Nitpicker!”

By this time, we had all eaten all we could. There was enough food left for another family.

My dad was practical. “I can’t let this go to waste. I don’t care what they think. I’m getting a doggie bag.”

My stomach told me I would never be hungry again, but my mind knew better. The remaining two thirds of the steak would be delicious tomorrow.

We brazenly filled our doggie bags and left. Even if you have money, there’s no need to waste it. We headed home…too full to talk.

The house was dark when we got there, but the motion sensors clicked outdoor lights to life and, created near daylight when we pulled into the driveway. Walking up to the front door activated more lights. Not that there was any danger, we were in the safest neighborhood in Houston, with the possible exception of the “gated” communities which, to me seemed like visiting a prison. The police patrolled the area, alert for any rare case of burglars or prowlers. Some of Houston’s oldest and richest families lived in this area, and the police knew that keeping them safe and happy would make life better, not only for the citizens, but for the police department as well as the rest of the city government.

We were all exhausted, and went straight to bed. I thought Lisa and I would talk, but the next thing I knew the sun was streaming in through the drapes. I went to the window and looked at the neighborhood. It was the cleanest, most beautiful residential I had ever seen. Most of the properties had huge oak trees like ours. A woman walked by with her poodle. She eyed our house like she was curious about the new neighbors. I thought she saw me, so I quickly stepped away from the window.

“What’s the matter?” Lisa’s voice came from behind me.

“Nothing…just don’t want to expose myself. Good morning.” It was only 6 AM, but we were both morning people.

I walked over to the bed to kiss her on the cheek. Instead, she put her hands on both sides of my face and placed a kiss right on my lips.

“Easy, cousin, we don’t want to end up on Jerry Springer!” She was beautiful, but I didn’t want to get into anything kinky.
“Kissin’ cousins! Nothing wrong with that!”

“Yeah…as long as it doesn’t go to far.”

“I know…I know! What’s the plan for today?”

“Dunno. The world’s our ostrich!”

“Oyster!” Lisa

“I know, Lisa, just trying to get under your skin.”

“Just don’t try to get under my clothes.”

“Speaking of which, you packed a lot of clothes for this visit. How about you just set your suitcase in the closet? I have enough clothes for 3 or 4 girls.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

“Good! Now..shopping?”

Lisa smiled. “But you just said you…never mind. Shopping…you talked me into it. But we can’t go to the resale shop, now that we live in River Oaks.”

“Silly…no one’s gonna know where we live…unless you go around telling people, ‘Guess what…l live in River Oaks’. By the way…you don’t live in River Oaks…at least, not yet!”

“It’s practically a done deal. My mom will have no excuses. I need to call her.” She grabbed her cell phone and went into the rest room.
After about 5 minutes, the toilet flushed and Lisa came out of the bathroom. “You’re gonna have to get your mom to call my mom. Guess that makes sense. I can hardly invite us to come live with y’all.”

“Still a done deal. My mom will call, ‘Hey, you and Lisa come to Houston and live with us. You will? Cool! Bye!’”

“My sweet little cousin! You’re naïve, but I love you. It’s not that simple with adults. Your mom and dad will practically have to beg my mom to come. If our mom’s weren’t sisters, it would never happen, but we’re lucky in that sense”.

“Ok. I’ll talk to my mom today.”

“Changing the subject…Amie?”

“Uh oh, this sounds serious!”

“I’ve been kinda considering going to medical school.” It sounded more like a question.

“That’s good. You’re smart enough!”

“Yeah, I would like to be able to tell the other doctors that I’ve seen something they’ve probably never seen, and probably never will see.”
“Huh. What’s that?”

Lisa said nothing. She smiled and looked down at the front of my pants.

I knew what she meant, but I bent over a little and pulled up her chin so I was looking directly into her face. “Lisa, look at me! What is it you want to see?”

She smiled. “Oh, you know, your ‘anthropological generals!’”

“Lisa…seriously? You want to go to medical school, and you can’t even say ‘anomalous genitalia’?”

“I could, but I didn’t want to. I don’t like the sound of it.”

“You don’t even like the sound of it, but you want to see it?”

“Yes…l do! Lay across the bed and cover your eyes!”

“Lie!”

“What did I lie about?”

“Dammit, Lisa; you know what I’m talking about. It’s ‘Lie across the bed.’”

“I know it, but that sounds weird. Just do it.”

“But, you don’t .…”

“Please do this for your favorite cousin.”

“Jaqueline? She’s not even.….”

“Oh, come on, Amie. Don’t make me beg!”

I lay, face up, on the bed and closed my eyes.

“Don’t look!”

“Why not? I’ve seen!”

“I don’t know. Just keep your eyes closed.”

I covered my eyes with my hands. “OK. Have at it!”

I felt her lift my nightgown and lay it up near my chest. I shivered. “It’s kind of cold.”

“Won’t be long.”

I felt her pull my panties down. I hear her catch her breath. “Oh…wow.”

After a few seconds, I felt her pull up my panties and pull down my nightgown.

I uncovered and opened my eyes. “Well,” I asked, “what’s the prognosis? Will the patient live?” I tried to sound anxious.

“She will live a long, healthy life. We just gotta remove one teeny tiny bit of superfluous tissue.”

“Wow, you sure got educated quickly!”

“On the job training is the best way to learn.”

“What do you think?”

“I think any boy with a penis like that would be embarrassed to take off his shorts.”

“You’re right about that. And any girl would want to be rid of it!”

“The doctor had to do x-rays, sonograms, and blood tests?”

“Something like that.”

Maybe he needs to go back to med school.” Lisa

“Well, I hope not to have that ‘superfluous tissue’ much longer.”

“This reminds me of a joke!”

“Of course!”

“OK…this preacher’s wife went into the hospital to have a baby. There was an old woman from the church who kept pestering the doctor. ‘Is she OK? Is she in labor?’…all kinds of questions that the doctor wouldn’t answer because it was none of the old woman’s business. Well, when the baby was born, the doctor stepped out of the delivery room and there was the old lady. ‘Were there any problems? Is the baby OK’” The doctor shook his head and looked sad. The old woman gasped, ‘what!?’ The doctor replied, ‘The child was born without a penis!’ The old woman gasped again, but the doctor continued, ‘…but I’m sure she’ll have a good place to put one in about 20 years or so!’”

“Funny.”
“OK. I thought it was a good joke. Thing is, you’ll have a good place in like 7 or 8 years.”

“It might be a good place, but no penis is going there! There’s been one there long enough!”

“Don’t you believe in trying anything once? Don’t knock it until you try it?”

“I refuse to live my life by quotes from Pinterest!”

“Well, one of these days you’ll get that ‘empty’ feeling….”

“Shut up! Gross!”

“OK. Cool…just keep your options open.”

“Yeah, I will,” I said without unconvincingly.

On cue, my mom opened the door. “Girls? You’re not even dressed! What are y’all going to do with your first day of vacation?”

“Shopping?” I questioned.

“OK. We’re not far from the Galleria. I can drop y’all.”

“I thought maybe the resale shop? Just ‘cause daddy has money doesn’t mean we should waste it!”

“Wow. How mature! Well, get on the web and search for resale shops in zip code 77019. The rich people around have must have somewhere they get rid of clothes they’ve worn once.”

“We’ll be ready in 10 minutes! Oh, Aunt Kim, would you call my mom. I think she wants to come live with us.” Lisa volunteered.

Mom smiled. Yeah, OK, I’ll give her a call.”

We got dressed. We both had to wear dresses per Lisa’s orders. They were short dresses with spaghetti straps. Just about the minimum to be decent. We stepped out the front door and Lisa gasped, “Oh, my God!”

“What is it, Lisa?” I couldn’t imagine what could be wrong.

“The heat…the humidity!” Lisa

“Well maybe it’ll cool off.” At the time, I couldn’t imagine how wrong I was. Houston summers were merciless. Lisa and I got into the car with a map from MapQuest and the air conditioner turned on “Max Cool”.

“Mom, it’s really hot. I think I need a haircut!”

“When you were a boy, you never wanted a haircut!”

Lisa spoke up from the back seat, “You know what’s weird? He had long hair…her hair is kinda short.”

“You’re right. It depends on how you perceive a person. We’ll get your hair cut and styled, honey…something cool and easy to manage. I’ll find someone and make an appointment while y’all shop. Lisa, what about you?”

“OK. I could use a haircut.”

“Cool! I pulled on my dress, trying to make it longer.”

“Kinda short, huh? I misguessed how tall you are when I bought it.”

“It’s OK. At least my butt will be cool.”

“Don’t talk like that. You sound like a boy.”

“Ewww! Sorry, mom.”

We drove through the tree shaded roads of River Oaks. Most of the houses were about the size of apartment complexes. Gradually, the mansions began to give way to just large houses, then average sized houses. We also began to see a few service stations and other businesses. We were out of River Oaks.

Lisa shopped for herself some, but she seemed to enjoy picking out stuff for me a lot more. During the whole shopping trip, maybe two things didn’t fit. She was also determined that I admit I was having fun. I had to admit it. I was having a ball! I felt a little sorry for boys, with the dull clothing they had to wear. Once, I was in the dressing room trying on a white dress with flowers and hearts for decorations. It was very short, of course, since Lisa had picked it out. I looked into the mirror admiring myself. I promised my reflection, “I would NEVER go back!”

“What’s that?” Lisa was just outside the door.

“I SAID I WOULD NEVER GO BACK!” I didn’t care who heard.

“Now, Amie, you know the doctors are not through with your analysis. You have to go back or they’re gonna send the guys with white coats and butterfly nets!”

I opened the door a little and poked my head out, “Lisa, you’re a nut!”

She just smiled. “Come on out, lemme see that dress on you.”

I stepped out the door; put my left hand on my hip and my right hand behind my neck, “I think we should all just learn to get along. My greatest wish is for world peace. Also, I would like a bowl of ice cream.”

Lisa just rolled her eyes. “Each thing you try on makes you look better than the last, beautiful cousin.”

“Why, thank you! What can I say? It’s my designer genes.”

“Wait, I misspoke. I meant ‘Each thing you try on makes you look better than the next.’”

I thought a second, “Hey, shut up!”

I wasn’t long until we had a basket overflowing. “Lisa, don’t you think this is enough for today?”

Lisa ignored my question. “See that guy in the blue smock? He works here. He has a dressing room key, and he’s been going around opening the dressing rooms that when a woman goes in. He’s acting like he’s checking the rooms for left-behind clothing. He gets him a good look, then says, ‘Oh, excuse me’, and closes the door. Watch, I’m gonna get a dress and make sure he sees me go into one of the rooms. I’ll show you what I mean.” She grabbed one of the dresses I had already tried on and disappeared into the dressing room. I wandered a little ways away and pretended to be shopping. I watched Mr. Blue Smock as he meandered toward the dressing rooms. He went straight to the room where Lisa was and opened the door for a look.

I’ve seen funnier things, but I have to say, Lisa knows how to put on a show. She was clad in only a bra, panties and shoes and she let out a piercing scream that made me jump. Then, I saw the reason she hadn’t taken off her shoes. Mr. Blue Smock tried to close the door, but Lisa had her foot in the door and kept screaming, “Get out of here!!! What’s the matter with you?!! Help!!!” She apparently didn’t care who saw her in her underwear, and she had the attention of everyone in the store. Employees in the mysterious “Employees Only” section came rushing out. Several employees, including the manager, “Michelle R.”, rushed over to the disturbance. He would push on the door, and when he would quit pushing she would actually push it open some, then let him push it back against her foot. This actually made it look like he was trying to open the door. Finally, Lisa allowed the door to close. Mr. Blue Smock seemed unable to move. His face was beet red and he looked like he desperately wanted to disappear. Lisa could be heard in the dressing room, sobbing. I stood with my hands on my hips, enjoying the show. Smock began trying to convince the manager that he was just “checking for left behind clothes or hangers”. She pointed toward the back of the store and Mr. Smock hurried that direction.

Then, the manager rapped lightly on the door and inquired, “Ma’am, are you OK?”

Lisa answered that she was OK, with a sniff and a hint of “distress” in her voice. The manager and Mr. Smock headed for “Employees Only”. I thought to myself, “After this he won’t be going back there, if he can come in the store at all!”

Most of the excitement was over and people began to gradually go back to shopping. I knocked on the door, “OK, Lisa, show’s over.”

“I’m just so…embarrassed,” she sobbed.

“Well, not as embarrassed as the pervert.”

The manager came back. “Is she OK?”

“Yes, ma’am, she’ll be fine. She’s a bit of a drama queen. She’s not much to look at, anyway.”

She looked surprised and she left, probably to go beat the hell out of Mr. Smock.

“Lisa, everyone is gone. You can dry up and come out.”

“Thanks a lot! ‘Not much to look at’, huh? ‘Drama queen’?”

“Yeah, well, it was a good show.”

“Hey! I’m upset. If I had known, I would have worn my pretty underwear with hearts and….”

“Come on, Lisa, let’s check out. I feel like everyone is still looking at me. I think they’re waiting to see the little hellcat.”

Lisa stepped out of the dressing room. “Should I bow or curtsy?”

“Neither! Remember drama class? It will make it impossible for them to ‘suspend their disbelief’! You have to keep up the ruse, now.”
“Amie, they have no disbelief to suspend. They’re all full of sympathy for a poor little girl whose privacy was invaded by a pervert.”
“OK, bask it in while we check out. I’ll call my mom.”

Miss Michelle met us at the checkout. She asked if we wanted to call the police. We assured her that we were fine and didn’t need police. She quietly told the cashier to just bag up our purchases … no charge.

Lisa had completely recovered from her “trauma”. Wow, thank you!”

“OK. Y’all have a good day.”

My mom arrived to find us outside the store with a basket piled high with mostly bags of clothing. Right away, she wanted to know the cost.
“It was free, mom.”

“No…seriously. I just want to know if my bank account is in the hole.”

“It didn’t cost anything, Aunt Kim.”

We had to explain the scene to my mom. She was amused, but she kind of felt sorry for Mr. Smock. She also felt bad about accepting free clothes from a charity, and vowed to make a big donation. My mom is too tender hearted.

“We’ll always call him ‘Mr. Smock.” Lisa made a “Star Trek” salute. “To seek out and explore ladies dressing rooms.”

“Until you run into Lisa,” I had to add.

We headed home to begin the task of sorting, washing, folding and hanging the vast amount of clothing we had been rewarded for Lisa’s acting job. I have to admit, I felt sorry for Mr. Smock, but I soon got over it.

On the way home, Lisa said, “Wow, if today is any indication we’re gonna have a fun summer!”

“That was fun?” my mom inquired.

“Yes, ma’am, it was fun. I’m reconsidering medical school. Acting pays pretty good.”

Mom shook her head.

Lisa and I “worked” on sorting clothes. Mostly, we modeled for each other and took pictures with our digital cameras. Even though Lisa was my cousin, she was so beautiful it was hard not to stare. Finally, she said, “What?” I hadn’t realized how intently I had been watching her. I told her the truth, “Lisa, you’re just beautiful.”

“You’re not gonna get kicked out of bed yourself, cousin.”

“Well if it’s a guy, it’ll be me doing the kicking.”

“I think you’ll change your attitude”.

“We should bet on that. Got a million dollars?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Neither do I, but I would be winning a bet on that. Anyway, I have to have a small operation before I can even consider that. Otherwise, any guy expecting to party with me will find himself at a surprise party.”

“As I said, someday you’ll get that empty feeling.”

“You know, a penis might not be so bad, but it’s attached to a big, hairy, sweaty, smelly … guy, who thinks you want his tongue in your mouth.”

“Some guys are not big, hairy sweaty or smelly.”

“’Guy’ is bad enough. I just don’t that on top of me.”

Lisa gave up, “OK. You win. We’ll both be lesbians until … and unless someone comes along to change things.”

“You were not very hard to convince.”

“Yeah, it’s almost like …. Skip it, put on this skirt and top.”

“Gee, that skirt must be six inches long!”

“It’s eighteen inches. What … you wanna be a nun?”

“You want me to show off my ‘autonomous gentlemen’?”

“You mean your ‘agronomous gesticulations’? They won’t show. They’re just little biddy fell fellas.”

“Is ‘little biddy’ a medical term?”, I asked as I squeezed into the top and skirt. “Why did we buy this anyway?”

“I got it for when we go streetwalking.”

“That’s all it’s good for, so we can donate it right back.”

“Amie, it looks so good on you!”

“Maybe so, but I’m not gonna wear it outside.”

“You know…it’s only noon; we have a lot of day left. Also it’s the first day of summer; we have a lot of summer left; what’s next?”

“Don’t you think it’s time for pizza?”

“Oh, yeah, what do you like?”

“I like just about anything but pepperoni or anchovies. I like jalapenos, but they make my nose run.”

“I’ll bet for a long time, you’ve been wondering why everything you ate went to your hips. Now you know, and it’s ok. You’re developing one fine body. You’re doing pretty good up top, too.”

“Yeah, but it feels weird.”

“Just because you’re body is changing. You’ll get used to it.”

Just then, Mom rapped on the door.

“Come in”.

She opened the door and poked her head in. “I’ve got a doctor’s phone number. Monday, I’m going to schedule you an appointment for minor surgery. Are you ready for that?”

“I’m more than ready, mom”.

“That’s good to hear. I’ll also see about getting something done with your hair.”

“Can she get her ears pierced, Aunt Kim?”

Mom turned to me, “Amie?”

“Sure, Mom”.

“We’re moving right along, aren’t we?”

Lisa spoke up, “Aunt Kim, I think the sooner the better.”

“I think so, too. School will be here before you know it. By the way, girls, you can stop sorting clothes. Take them to the laundry room. I want to wash them all.”

“Good! Uh, Mom?”

“Yes, Aaron…Amie?”

“Where’s the laundry room?”

She hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. “It’s on the first floor. Go to the back through the kitchen.”

“Thanks, Mom. We’ll get these clothes down there.”

“Actually,” she continued as she walked into the bathroom and opened a small door, “this is a laundry chute. Put the clothes in here and they’ll drop right down to the laundry room.”

“Wow, what will they think of next?”

“Lisa, I think this invention is over a hundred years old. I’m not sure why you don’t see it much anymore.”

“Thanks, we’ll have the clothes there before you can get there.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “Thanks a lot! I want to look through them anyway. I want to make sure they’re appropriate.”

“Honest, Mom, we didn’t buy any boys’ clothes!”

“That’s not what I was concerned about.”

“I know, Mom.”

“Monday, I also need to see about hiring some household help. Bye now, girls.”

My mom left and we stuffed all the clothes down the chute. All, that is, except Lisa’s “streetwalking” outfit, which went in the trash. The clothes seemed to have multiplied, and it made me wonder how much they would have cost if we had paid for them.

We got out our laptops and called my dad to get a network password. We both got on the web and checked email, then idly surfed the web
until it got dark outside.

We agreed that our first day of vacation was a success.

Sunday was a lazy day. We spent some time exploring the “servants quarters”. The place was separate from the main house, and was more spacious and luxurious than most homes. We turned on the air conditioning to get rid of the stale smell. Lisa claimed a bedroom. If her and her mom decided to move in, I didn’t see any reason they shouldn’t stay in the main house. It could house 10 to 15 comfortably. Lisa claimed the room “just in case”.

Later that day, we found that Aunt Kim, after receiving a call from my mom, had “tentative” plans to move Lisa and herself to Houston. My dad had also said that he thought we should both go to a private school. He was researching several schools in Houston, and said he would foot the bill for both of us. He asked my mom not to share that information with my aunt, however, because he thought if might make her feel she was a burden and discourage her from moving.

So, Sunday was restful after an exciting Saturday. Mom didn’t rest, however; she spent the day washing, drying, folding and hanging the clothes we had bought…or had been “donated”. She only left it to us to bring the clothes to my room. We discovered that, amazingly, gravity only works in one direction, so two lazy rich girls had to carry all the clothes up the stairs. We didn’t complain, but I hoped my mom would be hiring a maid soon. I think she found everything acceptable, but she may have trashed some without us knowing.

There’s not much more to say about Sunday. We went to bed early. Three or four trips upstairs carrying clothes tires a girl out.

Monday was more active. Lisa and I both got haircuts at “Nancy’s”. We both got what mom called “pixie cuts”, and I got my ears pierced, after which I looked into the mirror and said, “No going back now”. Nancy looked puzzled, but I didn’t care; let her wonder. Lisa and I looked even more alike, but she was more beautiful than ever. I told her I was going to call her “BC”, for “Beautiful Cousin”. She said she would do likewise.
I thought for a second. “Lisa, I’m kinda glad you’re not my sister.”

“Amie!...Why”

“We would be calling each other “BS”.

“Silly girl!”

My mom said, “Both my girls are beautiful.” Then, she looked at Lisa and said, “I know you’re not mine, but I love you like a daughter, and I appreciate you helping Amie.”

“No problem, Mom Two.”

We got our nails done with the brightest red polish available. When we finished, we stepped out of Nancy’s and my mom asked me, “Amie, how do you feel?”

“With my hands…sorry. I’m OK, mom, why?”

“I mean, are you happy about the way things turned out…about changing…you know….”

“Oh! Mom, I’m perfectly happy…ecstatic!”

Mom thought I was overdoing it. “Really?”

“Really, mom. There was always something wrong, you know? I didn’t understand or care about most of the stuff that guys enjoy. I didn’t know why.” I was looking at my reflection in Nancy’s window. The studs in my ears shinned brightly. “A lot of stuff has fallen into place now. Plus, I think I’m almost as cute as Lisa…almost.”

“Please, Amie, don’t be too obsessed with looks. There are more important things. I want you to be kind and caring.”

“OK, mom.”

Lisa had to comment, “Really, Aunt Kim, Amie is kind. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say a bad thing about anyone.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Lisa continued, “But he was a real S.O.B.!”

“Lisa! You’re kidding!”

“No, I’m not kidding, I’m lying, Aunt Kim. Sometimes I start lying when I get hungry.”

“Ah, so that’s it! Well, what would you girls like?”

After some discussion, we found ourselves in a Chinese buffet. Two teen aged boys at another table were giving us the eye. We timed our trips to the buffet table to avoid them, and made a point of not looking their way.

When we sat down, my mom informed us that she had made me an appointment with a surgeon for Friday to see if he would do my surgery. She asked me how I felt about it.

“Gee, mom, I don’t know….”

“Having second thoughts?”

“No, I’m just wondering why we have to wait until Friday.”

Mom smiled. “I’m sorry. It was the first appointment I could get.”

“OK. I guess I can wait another 3 or 4 days.”

We finished our meal and left the buffet. I was glad to leave and be away from the boys who couldn’t seem to look at anything but us.
We went back to the mansion and filled the rest of the day surfing the web, reading, etc.

Friday was my appointment with the doctor. I can’t describe the stress of lying with my legs spread and my feet in stirrups while a total stranger examined my crotch. It was a little comfort that the doctor was a female. She examined my genitalia, fondled them and photographed them. She assured us that the surgery would be minor, but would require an overnight hospital stay. She said she preferred that I talk to a counselor, but my mom and I convinced her that it was unnecessary. I was surprised and happy when the surgery was scheduled for only a week from that day.

The surgery was uneventful. I remember them putting a mask over my mouth and nose. A few seconds later a nurse was asking what my name was. I thought, “You have me on an operating table and you don’t even know my name?” I told her my name and asked if they were going to do the surgery.

The nurse said matter-of-factly, “Oh, it’s done.”

I opened my eyes wider and looked around. I was in the recovery room. What I gauged as a “few seconds” had actually been more than an hour. Much of my lower body was numb. I was desperately thirsty, so my mom brought a coke with a flexible straw. It was the best drink I had ever
tasted.

There’s not much more to say about the surgery. I went home the next morning with a catheter still in. Lisa took it out after a couple of days with my mom’s supervision. I was now a girl without excess body parts. It really felt strange when I felt down there. It felt like a huge gap. It was good to put on my clothes without having to tuck in excess parts. For a while, I made it a point to wear tight pants or shorts to emphasize that I was finally all girl.

The rest of the summer was probably the best time of my life (up to that point). We met a girl next door also named “Amie”, and a girl across the street name “Jamie”. Amie’s dad was a doctor and Jamie’s mom was an attorney. Her mom was engaged and, even though her parents were divorced, Jamie’s dad also lived there in a separate part of the house. The girls were a few years older than us, and both were headed for Rice University at the end of the summer. Still, they accepted our invitations to come to the pool with us. They were both very mature and extremely intelligent, but still a lot of fun.

Once, my mom came out to the pool and asked me to come inside a minute to see something. She gave me an envelope to open. In it, was my birth certificate. The name on it was “Amie Abigale Brooks, and for “sex” it said “Female”. I hugged my mom and said, “Now it’s totally official and legal, thanks, mom.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” Now, go have fun with your friends.”

Back at the pool, no one asked me what it was about. They had too much class to pry.
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Fast forward to the morning of the first day of school. Lisa is still with us, and her mom is arranging to move also. What to wear for the first day of school? Let’s see…oh!, the school uniform! Nothing exciting about the uniform, but I still thought I looked really good. Everything had to be perfect; first impressions can’t be re-done. I had begun my life traveling the opposite side of the gender line than the one on which I started. I was happy with the way things turned out, and was looking forward to the challenges to come. I wondered how different private school was going to be, but I was ready to handle whatever came my way. I would enjoy the positive and endure the negative.

I thought about how the choices I had for my future. Would I marry? If so, would my spouse be male or female? Would I ever be attracted to any male? Would I bear children? For now, I was glad I could just think about these choices. Decisions would not be required for a long time. I thought about a song I had heard. Whoever wrote the line “I’ve looked at life from both sides now” had nothing on me. I had insight into the male psyche that few, if any, other females could match. I was examining the female perspective now. Exploring both “sides” was a rare opportunity, and I was ready for it.

Yes, there will be more changes, challenges, trials and tribulations; hopefully, not as drastic as those in the past. I guess I will end this narrative for now because I expect my life to be pretty routine from here. If things become exciting, suspenseful, or in any way interesting, I’ll be back.

Love, Amie Abigale Brooks