Gotta Know Now

I met Aylese a few days before my 12th birthday. It was an early spring day and I spent it in the woods across from my house in Papillion, Nebraska. The woods, such as they were, were a small patch of land that sat between our sub-division and the flat lands that once had a railroad line, with wooden beams, metal plates and rusty track spikes being the only remnants of that time. In the middle of the trees was a creek that during the summer and fall was near dry but in the late winter and early spring it was very deep and had a swift current.

I usually walked to a location down the street where one could climb over a set of culverts and over to the other side, behind the ghost train tracks, but on that day, I took an alternate path: I simply tried to jump as far across the water as I could and grab onto an exposed root on the opposite bank. I missed though and fell into the frigid water. A few thoughts came through my mind:
My cartoon physics model that I used was totally off.
I was glad that my friends were not around and couldn’t relay this story to everyone in my sixth-grade class
The water was cold, and I couldn’t think to stretch my arms out to grab onto the bank, so I bobbed along with the current. My brain was still locked on the fact that I had missed the edge and my body was freezing. I closed my eyes and thought that I would eventually reach a large root or some piece of wood to grab onto, but I also thought I might drown too, so the urge to kick rose and I tried to swim-against the current.

I threw my hands up and down into the water, causing me body to jump out of the water for a moment and at that moment I saw a girl with long red hair running along the side of the water. She had large eyes and an odd gait to her run, like she was floating more than using her legs.
“Lle anta amin tu?”
“Yes!” I replied, even though I wasn’t exactly sure why I understood her.
“Mani marte?” She asked as she reached out and pulled me to the side of the water. I scampered away from the water’s edge and laid out on my back. “Mankoi lle uma tanya?”
“It seemed like a good Idea at the time.”
“My name’s is Aylese, and you’re an idiot.”
“I’ve been told that a few times,” I replied.

She had insulted me, but she had also saved my life, so I allowed the insult. She was also kind of cute too.

“Was it some sort of bet, or do you have a death wish?”
“A little bit of both.”
She then drew out a large dagger and spun around to see Skully.
“Kela!”
“He’s with me,” I said, still out of breath.
“Yea, I’m with him,” Skully replied and then blew a chewing gum bubble that was as large as the opening in his cloak.
“A human harboring a dark spirit.”
“You’re not much of an angelic being yourself, toots!”
Aylese flew into the air and shoved Skully back.
“I am the daughter of the Holy Elvin king!”
“And I’m the high Rama-lama. Stephen there’s the ding-dong.”

Chain Reaction

When I was seventeen I fell in love with a girl named Amber. She was in two of my classes, English and French and she was at the top of the class in both languages and could flawlessly move between each language while I had issues with everything except sarcasm and dry humor. My French was limited to curse words and a few idioms.

Amber was a part of the popular crowd which did not include me, but it did include my quasi-friend, Scott Morris. We had been kind of good friends for two years and bona-fide enemies a year before that. Let’s just say that he usually left me hung out to dry or left holding the check if we went out. There was one time that he left me in downtown Spokane after a group of us went to see “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. It was two in the morning when the movie ended, and I went to the restroom only to see everyone I knew, our group of four, gone. Amber was a part fo the group, I invited her to come with us, not entirely sure if she would come but she did, much to mine-and Scott’s surprise. We picked her and a friend, Heather, up from their apartment on the South Hill and went to the movie.

So, I waited in the theatre for a few minutes until the staff told me I had to leave. I stepped out onto the street at two-fifteen in the morning. It was quiet, a very eerie silence.
“Well, this sucks,” Skully said as he took a cigarette out.
Aylese stood next to me with her head down for a moment.
“I mean the movie was terrible. Good music, I liked the actors but it just plain sucked!”
Aylese clenched her fists and took a step away from us.
“However, Susan Sarandon’s boobs; just, wow.”
“Shut up!”
“Oh, don’t tell me you actually liked the movie?”
“I said, shut up!”
“Let’s calm down.” I whispered.
“I. Am. Calm!” Aylese yelled as she tuned back to me. “Okay. Let’s take this for what it is.”
“Scott’s abandoned us.”
“No, I refuse to believe that he would do that,” Aylese said as she motioned for us to follow her. “However, we can’t stand here on the corner.”
“True, we’re not dressed to take a client,” Skully replied.
“Shut. Up!”

We walked down the street and through the tunnel, heading south up to Third Avenue where there were a few restaurants that stayed open all night. The entire walk up the street was done in silence as the two of them had their weapons out. Skully brandished a long scythe and Aylese held her daggers out as they flanked me. We passed by a few shadowy people who may have been armed or in the need to rob some kid, but they kept their distance, and each had a strange expression on their face.

We arrived at Frankie Doodle’s at three-thirty in the morning and I made a phone call to my sister, asking her to come and pick me up in an hour without telling mom and dad anything. She wasn’t happy with the wake-up call, but she did want to know what I thought about the movie.

We sat at a booth in the corner of the restaurant and I ordered a coffee for myself and stared out the window.
“So, are we going to talk about the elephant in room?" Skully asked.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s okay? Stephen, we were left downtown to fend for ourselves by someone who we should slam in the balls and then slice his head off."
“We can’t do that.”
“Then I’ll do it,” Aylese said.
Skully’s eyes glowed some strange purple color in reaction.
“Seriously, I think I will. He needs a bit of clan work done on him.”
“Wait. What about elfin honor and all that?"
“Wait. What about elfin honor and all that?”
I lifted the coffee cup off the table.
“Honor must be earned,” Aylese stated as she stood up and slammed her fists on the table.
“I am so with you, sister,” Skully said. “I finally really like you.”
“Same here,” Aylese replied as she sat back down next to me.
“So, how will we do it?”
“I’m thinking, slashing his brake line.”
“I was thinking more for going for the jugular.”
I sat the cup down.
“No, we’re just going to find out what really happened. There may be a great reason, like Amber got sick or they were carjacked.” I said.
“Maybe,” Aylese said as she nodded.
“No. No, we’re supposed to think carnage. Vlad the Impaler inspired carnage.”
“That will be plan B," I replied. “Oh, and Skully, Columbia’s were better.”
We all nodded in agreement as we saw my sister walk in.

Stage 7: Wayward Pilot’s Mission

On Monday morning, I went to school like nothing happened over the weekend even though a lot happened as I had several nightmares about dying on the streets of downtown Spokane and also a few about how Scott would laugh at my face when I asked why he ditched me.
Scott found me first and slammed his hand on my back.
“Dude, I gotta tell you what happened after the movie!”
“Yeah, yeah, you do,” I replied.
“I. Made. It.”
“You what?” I asked.
“It means he got lucky.” Skully said.
“At our expense,” Aylese replied.
They stood a few feet away and they weren’t happy.
“I scored big man. I mean she was all over me and we found this place where it all heavy. It was like, whoa.”
“So, he sold us out for a woman.” Skully said. “Big violation of the Bro Code. Tell him off, Stephen.”
“What was she doing?”
Scott leaned in and whispered that she was all over his zipper during the movie. I must have either been asleep or paid too much attention to the movie.
“We’re planning to ditch seventh period and I can’t wait to see what else she’ll do to me.”
“I guess Amber’s not the girl for us,” Aylese said.
“No, I think she sounds like the perfect girl for us. We just need to her to dump Scott.” Skully stated as he walked a few feet away. “We could tell her that Scott wets the bed or that he screamed like a little girl when he saw “The Leprechaun”.
“You realize you left me, right?”
“I know, man, but she wanted me and I knew that if our roles were reversed, you’d do the same. You gotta get some when it’s offered.”
“Jukkete!” Aylese yelled. “He is dead to us!”
“Not yet,” Skully said.
“I’ll catch ya, later. I’m going to try and find Amber,” Scott gave me two thumbs up and a wink before he turned and ran down the hall.
“Not yet,” I whispered. “Soon though.”
I turned around and quietly walked back to my locker.
“Stephen?” Aylese asked.
I didn’t reply as I was mad at Scott and Amber. I didn’t know who was to blame really. Were they both all over each other so much and I didn’t notice? I lost all respect for Amber at that moment, or maybe not respect, but more out of that it seemed like she a bit too, adventurous, for me and maybe I had no idea on how relationships were supposed to work but I assumed that people would get to I know each other before ripping into each other’s pants.

I didn’t see Scott for most of the day, but I died see Amber through the office window. She was crying but I could barely see her through the window blinds. A few seconds later, her parents came in and took her home. Her face was red and swollen and she shook uncontrollably. I recognized her expression: a breakdown; something I experiences in.

“What happened to Amber?” I asked.
“I don’t know, I haven’t seen her. Have you?”
“Yeah, she was crying in the office.”
“Why?”
“Great question, Scotty boy, why don’t’ you tell us?” Aylese asked. “Stephen, let’s go with Scott and talk privately.”
“We need to talk,” Scott said as he lead us down the hall.
We walked down the hallway, past the gym and into a storage area. It was a room that was usually used for exactly what Scott thought he would go with Amber later on.

He locked the door and then put his bag down.
“Okay, did she say anything to you?”
“She was just talking with the principal.”
“Lead him that you know something, Steph,” Aylese stated as she nodded to Skully.
Skully moved behind Scott.
“And?” Scott asked.
“She said she’d go to the police.”
“What? Why?”
“She told her parents you hurt her.”
“She wanted it. She really did.”
“And you want this,”I replied.
Skully moved ahead and stabbed Stephen in the back with his scythe.
Aylese drew her knife and slashed at his arms.
“You raped her.” I said,
Scott screamed and then slumped against the wall and onto the floor.
“No one came hear, you Scotty,” Skully stated as he swung the blade around and jabbed the the blunted end into Scott’s back.
Aylese stepped next to his face and lifted his head so he would state into her eyes. “Al Hond Ebrath, Uol Tath Shantar En Tath Lalala Ol Hond Ebrath”
She then stabbed him in the neck.
“I like your style, little sister.” Skully replied as he took out a cigarette.

Stage 8: Repairing the Sky and Similar Feats of Strength

I used to wake up in my apartment around three o’clock in the afternoon due to my usual late-night sessions of talking with Skully and Aylese. It had been a few months since I had been placed on disability so I didn’t have to work, but I always felt there was something missing in life, like I needed to do more with my time instead of playing “EverQuest” and wondering what I would order for dinner that night.

The delivery driver at “Wok Fu” knew my voice whenever I called so maybe it was time to try somewhere else.

We got dressed and walked out the apartment, on a mission to do something in my life.

“Maybe you should get a part-time job?” Aylese said as we walked past a strip mall on the other side of the street.
“He can’t,” Skully replied as he lit a cigarette.
“Maybe something under the table? Yard-work or maybe dog-walking.”
“I could do some handyman work,” I said.
“Not a good idea,” Aylese stated as she shook her head. “Forget I mentioned it.”
“No, it’s a great idea,” I replied as we walked past a group of teenagers. “I have the time and some tools, why not?”
“Who you talking to, Looney Tune?” A voice shouted from behind us.
“Ignore him,” Aylese warned me.
“You ain’t on a Bluetooth. Are you getting to God?”
“You’re about to talk to death,” Skully threatened.
“No, we’re not doing anything. We keep on walking.”
“Hey, psycho!” I felt a sharp pain in my back, like a knife. I stopped and then had two teenager by my side and one in the back.
“Got any cash on you, schizo-man?”
“Sounds like a superhero title,” the teen on my right said. The one on the left kept shifting his eyes back and forth.
“Now what?” Skully asked.
“Butterfly knife blade. May be dull, maybe not.”
“Your money, now, crazy dick!”
“Moitak larshat ku xalathom!” Aylese yelled.
“Ahh, I love those magic words,” Skully yelled a she removed his cloak and drew his scythe.
I ran forward and tripped to the ground as Skully rushed the guy with the knife. Aylese there her dagger into the guy who was on my right. The one on the left ran towards me and I grabbed his leg. He toppled to the ground screaming.

Skully slammed his blade into my attacker’s face with a disturbing “thud”
Aylese walked up to the other guy now hung on the side of the building. She reclaimed her blade and then looked at me.
“What about him?”
“I think he’s knocked out.”
“Should we finish him off?” Skully asked as he dislodged his scythe from the dude’s skull.
“Sidh,” Aylese replied with a bow to Skully. “We should head home.”
“Should we take their money?”

I sat at the kitchen table in front of a lot of crumpled bills while the evening news played.
“This is a Channel Six News exclusive. A teenager says he was attacked by a man and claims that man was possessed.
“Possessed?” Skully screamed. “That is so wrong. Who writes their cue cards?”
“Shhh!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll shush. I swear if he calls me satan!”
The reporter continued: “The victim told Channel Six News ‘The dude was spitting out satanic words!’”
“Are you freaking kidding me!” Skully said as he slammed his scythe on the table.

Stage 9: Where the Monkey Meets the Man

I sat in one corner of the kitchen with Skully and Ayle in the corners on the far side of the living room.

The couch was turned on its side.
The book shelf was destroyed—and a lot of my books were shredded.
The DVD player had played its last disc.

I would also need to buy a new TV.

“I. I guess I should apologize,” Skully said as we all looked at his scythe—which was buried into the interior wall. “The super’s going to be pissed.”
“I’m sorry too,” Ayle said. “I mean, we want what’s best for you, Stephen.”
“I know,” I replied as I stared at the gashes on my arms and the blood on the wall.
“And this isn’t the best, you know?”

What had started out as a small intervention by me to tell them that I needed more space turned into something that would have rivaled WrestleMania.

“I am all for giving you extra space, Stephen,” Aylese said as she stood up and let out a small groan. “But to say that you don’t need us, well, the proof is in front of us.”
“I will be fine.”
“Are you sure about that, Buddy?” Skully asked as he rose off the floor and floated over to this scythe.
“Yes, just like in the woods that one day.”
“What woods?” Aylese asked.
“The day with Pete,” Skully effortlessly withdrew the blade from the wall.
“I was okay.”
“He was getting his head, chest and butt kicked.”
Aylese shot a glance at Skully and then looked back to me with a calm face. “What happened?”

I sprawled myself on the floor and looked up to the ceiling. There was a fork hanging in the drywall.
“Pete finally caught me in the woods. I thought about taking the road, but thought the odds were going to be okay for me.”
“But?”
“But Pete was there and he threw me off of the bike. I fell into a blackberry bush with the air knocked out of me.”
I moved a few inches away; in case the fork became loose on its own.
“Pete slapped him around a bit.” Skully stated as he stood next to Aylese.
“And that’s all that happened,” I replied.
“I don’t think so. Something else happened.”
“No, just got beaten.”
“Tell her, Stephen,” Skully whispered.
“No!” I rose up like Frankenstein’s monster with a jolt and the fork fell.
“Yes, or I will.”
“No, you won’t!”
“You will or we’re going to have a rage in the cage grudge match in fifteen seconds!”
“Shut up!” Aylese yelled.
“That’s what he said too,” I murmured.
“Who, Pete?”
“Yeah. And I did.”
“What did he do?”
“Everything.”
Aylese looked at Skully, he nodded.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing. What could I do? I was just a kid and he…He was bigger than me.”
“What happened to Pete?” Aylese asked.
“They never found him,” Skully stated. “Alive, at least.”
“What is our current body count?”
“Are we counting Amber?” Skully asked.
“For the love Tolkien, yes, we’re counting Amber.”
“Six,” Skully replied as he held up his bony fingers.
“Eight,” I interjected. “Eight is the lucky number.”
“Sidh. Yeah, that guy at work.”
“It wasn’t exactly our fault, I mean he had it coming to him. “ Skully said as brushed the dust off his cloak.
“We always say that,” Aylese replied. “And looks who gets injured.”
They looked at me and all I could do was laugh at the situation. “I’m okay. We’re okay. Let’s just get this mess cleaned up and think of what we’re going to tell the landlord when he asks about that hole up there.”
“You have to admit, it was a good shot, right?” Skully asked as he lit a cigarette
Aylese nodded.

Stage 10
Post Telecom Daydream

I used to work at a technical support call center. I was fresh out of high school and thought the idea of being a disembodied voice helping another disembodied voice would be the best thing for me. I could offer my support and in the end, hang up and never hear from them again.
Tragically, the same thing did not apply to my co-workers.

I sat in a long line of desks with large CRT-based monitors with a revolving door of people. Every other week I would have to introduce myself to someone new and go through the rigmarole of introductions. Except for when Marc arrived.

Marc was, how to describe him…would the correct term be ‘alpha male’ or narcissistic jerk? At the end of our third day working side by side he looked at my desktop, which was a picture of a young opera singer, and laughed.
“You like them young, don’t you?”
“What?”
“I’m kidding.”
“She’s just a singer. I like her voice.”
“So if she was some fatso, you’d still have a picture of her on your desktop?”
“If she has the same voice, yes.”
“Whatever you say.”

Now, when he said this, it made me feel a little apprehensive. Was I wrong to have the picture on my desktop? I mean, Jacob, three rows down, had a picture of five bare-chested firemen on his monitor and no one ever gave him any flack that I knew of. I shrugged it off. I didn’t even bother to mention it when I got home.

However, the next day I received an e-mail from HR to come and see them. My manager was in the conference room with a man from HR and they started to go down a list of violations I had done with my computer:
I had installed AOL Instant Messenger on my PC; which I had not done so, I only had the installation software on my desktop. Everyone else around me, had messenger.

My call-monitoring software was off-line—yes, because it needed to be re-installed and I didn’t have the files to do. My manager was aware of this, but for some reason he agreed with HR.

I had pictures on my desktop that were not “work friendly”. I offered to show them everything on my computer at that given moment in order to prove I had nothing to hide and had done nothing wrong but, instead I was told to sign my name at the bottom of a form.

I refused to do it, so I was told to leave the building—they fired me on the spot.

“Are you kidding me?” Aylese yelled as I sat in the corner of the couch.
I could only shake my head.
“Someone set you up,” Skully said as he blew out a smoke ring.
“I know. I have a good idea who did to.”
“We need to something about it.” Aylese said and then stomped her foot.
“Agreed,” Skully replied
“I was thinking about hiring a lawyer.”
“Lawyers won’t help in this case, Stephen. We need to take a dignified stand.” Aylese said as she reached for my hands and pulled me up from the couch. “Let’s go meet Marc.”
“Okay.”

We drove back to the office. It was about five-thirty and everyone was getting off of work.
I had parked in the far end of lot.
“Do you know what car he drives?” Skully asked.
“Nope.”
“We’re going to wait for him to come out, find his car, and follow him.”
“Why not just get his attention and we’ll just talk to him?”
“Because, Boneface, all that will do is give him bragging rights over Stephen.”
“I wouldn’t particularly mind just talking to him. Maybe yell a few obscenities.”
“He’ll just laugh them off,” Aylese replied.
I nodded as the three of us kept a watch on the front door.
“There he is,” I said as I pointed to Marc. He briskly walked to what looked like a new model Honda and climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Okay, we need to follow him at a bit of a distance.” Skully said.
“Hold that thought,” Aylese said as she got out of the car.
“Where are you going?”
“One moment.”
Aylese ran across the parking lot and over to Marc’s car. She tapped on the window and drew her knife.
“Is she going to-?” I asked,
“Yep. She stole my idea.”

Stage 11
Inside Sighs

I still adore Amber.
Even after everything that happened between us…and that being almost nothing. Yes,s he talked to me, a but more so after what had happened to Scott. I stood by as a shoulder to cry on. To be honest, I should have been the one crying on her shoulder due to the situations in my life and the fact that I couldn’t tell who liberated her from the hands of the person who I once counted as my friend.

I walked Amber back to her apartment building and we stood next to a phone booth. The thought of touching her shoulder and telling here how I felt was so strong but the fear of what she would say terrified me. I wouldn’t want her to shy away or just run away totally from me. I would probably never leave “the friend zone” but I had to give it a shot. We walked across the street and went into the building.

She lived in apartment 12-C, on the east side of the building.
“Thank for walking with me, Stephen.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll be there for you.”
“You’re a great friend.”
“You too,” I said as I looked into her eyes. “See you tomorrow in class?
“Yeah, sure.”
“Goodnight,” I replied with a wave. So my Jedi powers were lackluster, but I had another ability: romance.

“What are you doing?” Skully asked as I picked up the phone book.
“I’m looking up florists.”
“Why?”
“To send a bouquet of roses to Amber.”
“Who?”
“Amber. We saved her from Scott.”
“Oh,” Skully replied as he sat down at the dinette.
“What the about Amber?” Aylese asked as she stepped into kitchen.
“He’s calling as florist.”
“You’re giving her flowers? What kind?”
“Roses.”
“Blood orchids would be a better choice.” Aylese said as she stood next to me.
“I’d say a big handful of dandelions. I mean, they grow everywhere and they’re free.”
“I’m going to walk down to the shop, order a bouquet and have them delivered too her at school.”
“You may want to be careful, Stephen. She may not see you as the one for her.”
“I thought that,” I replied as I closed the phone book and walked out of the kitchen.
“Not hard enough I’m afraid!” Skully called out.

I ran down the street to the florist and purchased a multi-colored arrangement of flowers and had them set to be delivered the next day at school. I would have to hang out near the office or at least be near Amber when she received them so I could see the expression on her face and, somehow, let her know that I sent them.
That I thought of her more than a friend.
That I would always be there for her.

Skully and Aylese were not pleased with my decision.
“She’s important to me.”
“And you’re important to us.”
“I’ll accept any answer she gives. I’m going to hope that this gets my foot in the door.”
“You’re going to get that foot amputated.” Aylese said with a scoff.
“We shall call you Pegleg Stevie,” Skully replied.
“That’s not funny.”
“Would you prefer the word ‘gimpy’?”
“She’s going to love them,” I replied.

Aylese and Skully went to school with me in the morning. They hung out near the office door as I watched and waited for Amber.
“I should have gone to apartment and walked her to school.”
“Not a good idea to smother her,” Aylese commented.
“Depends on what you’re doing,” Skully replied as he he shook a bony finger at her
“Shut up.”
“She’s here. Do I go up and talk to her?”
“Let’s just go to your locker like it’s a normal day, Romeo.”

For every five steps I took, I would take a look back as she went into the office to read the morning announcements. If the flowers had arrived, they would be there for her. If they took a few more minutes then she would see them delivered.

“I should have signed the card,” I said as I opened my locker.
“Women love surprises,” Skully replied.
“No, they love romantic gestures. Allowing it to be a surprise was a good idea,” Aylese said as she looked down the hall. “We won’t know until after she reads the announcements.”
“How so?”
“We should be able to head the happiness in her voice. I mean, I doubt reading today’s lunch menu will make giddy all over. It will have to be the flowers.”
“I don’t know, people really love the cafeteria’s pizza and chocolate milk.”

I went on to first period and tried to pay attention to my work but the love story playing in my head forced everything aside as I envisioned how I would meet up with Amber and tell her that I sent the flowers. She would ask why and I’d tell her that I wanted her to feel happy for the day since she had gone through all of that horrible stuff with Scott and the aftermath. I’d avoid mentioning Skully or Aylese’s involvement, of course. I would then await to see how she would respond. Maybe she’d think higher of me and I would be elevated beyond the friend zone On the other hand, she could just thank me for being a friend to her and as kind of saddening that would be, at least I could still be a part of her world. Maybe a small part, like the hand sticking out of the right corner of a group photograph but I could at least say I was included.
We ran out into the hall to see if we could find Amber. I saw her walking down the hall next to some guy I had never before seen in my life.
“Must be a new transfer student,” I mused.
“Let’s go kick his ass.” Skully said as he he took out his scythe.
“No, he may be a cousin,” Aylese replied.
We watched as true guy leaned in and kissed Amber on the each.
“Awfully friendly cousin. Is she from Arkansas?” Skully asked.
Amber then turned and kissed him on the lips.
“Alabama?”
“Why is he holding the flowers? Aylese asked.
We walked the other way down the hall to my locker. I opened it and slowly placed my books in. If I could time it right, I could retrieve my books and folders for my next class without turning around and looking at her again for at least another hour or so. I could get my thoughts in order and wonder if I had missed something. I mean, we talked often and she never mentioned she was dating, seeing or talking to anyone else. One would assumed that it would be slow to start up and she would gradually move up to PDA at school with some strange guy.
“Sorry, Stephen,” Aylese replied.
“About what?” I asked while finally gathering my stuff for the next class.
“It’s hard to read emotions sometime.”
“Maybe they should be movies that we can watch. Even better, commercials!” Skully replied as he looked down the hallway at Amber and the mystery man. “We need to find lout who this guy is.”
“I need to at least ask if she liked the flowers. So she’ll know he didn’t send them.”
“Now?” Aylese asked.
“No, after school.”
“No. We need to do it earlier or you will build up a wall around reality and create something in your head that never occurred and we will regret everything that happens afterward.”
“”Build. The. Wall, Stephen!” Skully yelled as I closed my locker.

I spent the rest of the day trying not to visualize the flowers rotting away in trash can or in the hands of who must be the greatest boyfriend of modern time! Failing that, I tried to eliminate any feelings of Amber I had whatsoever. No such luck with that either and as the school day came to an end I was near tears with no one else to talk about the situation except for Aylese and Skully.
“I’m going to her house. I have to tell her who gave her the flowers.”
“We should wait until tomorrow,” Skully said as we walked out of the school.
“I’m impressed, bonehead,” Aylese replied with a smile on her face. “You’re thinking rationally.”
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“You see, Stephen? Calmness wins in situations like this.”
“Because we can come up with a battle plan to get ride of whoever the guy is.”
“Seriously?”
“Okay, Amber then. Maybe the guy has no idea who Stephen is and how he feels about Amber.”
“Amber doesn’t even know how he feels!” Aylese screamed back.
“I’ll tell her now,” I replied as I ran ahead of them.

I want to say I had a plan for the rest of day and my mind once again ran through all of the dark and foreboding scenarios that would probably come up. I felt a steady anger at these imaginary vignettes and that anger changed to sadness at about the he time I reached the pay phone on the other side of the street from her apartment.
“We should go home,” Aylese said as she stepped up to my left side.
Skully floated next to me on my right.
“No, I need to know the truth.”
Aylese nodded and we walked across the street.

The sun bathed the apartment complex in an amber glow. I found it funny on my choice of words to describe the setting sun with the same of the girl I had just spent an MMMbop of time thinking about—but in my mind it was like an eternity and every step I took towards the building I felt a deep-seated pain in my body.
We rode the elevator up to her apartment floor in silence. The doors opened and we stepped out into the hallway. I looked back to the elevator and felt that at that moment we should take the stairs and just go home.
“Does it really matter now?” I whispered.
“You need closure, dude,” Skully replied,
“I have to agree with him,” Aylese said and then waved me on to Amber’s apartment door.

I knocked on the door and looked back at them.
Skully gave a thumbs up.
Aylese only nodded.

The door opened after a few seconds with Amber blocking the way until she saw my face.
“Stephen. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to know if you liked the flowers.”
“You sent them?” She didn’t smile or show really any emotion and turned her head back into the apartment. “They were very nice,” she replied with a slight annoyance to her voice.
“What?” A voice said from within the apartment.
“Did you buy those?” Amber asked the voice.
“Yes, bought them last night, why?”
Amber opened the door to reveal the guy from the hall earlier. “Cory, this is Stephen.”
“The crazy guy you were talking about?”
Amber’s face changed to a contorted and twisted, tinted in bright red as I took a step back in shock.
I didn’t want to think that she said anything like that to this Cory guy, but the way he said it meant that either she said one thing and he took it out of context or she said a lot of things and he decided to give the Wikipedia version of the details.
I closed my eyes and backed up against the fall wall of the hallway.
“Nothing personal, guy.”
Aylese and Skully walked up and stood between Cory and myself.
“Stay right there, Stephen,” Aylese stated as they walked past Cory and Amber and into the apartment. Amber closed the door as I allowed myself to slide down the wall and onto the floor with a thud.
I probably looked like a mess with tears and snot running down my face. I genuinely felt distressed at what had occurred. Maybe I should have taken it slower. Maybe I should have actually told Amber how I felt but then it would have hurt even more to have her tell me we had nothing in common—that we even breathed different air and that are lives were parallel lines that would never intersect.

“I was going to tell her,” I whispered. “I was going to tell her that-”
An alarm sounded and lights strobed through the hallway.
I ran down the hall and into the stairwell as the noise was so deafening I felt sick.
The screeching was even louder in the stairwell as I jumped down the dozen or so flights of stairs to the ground floor. There was a strong and acrid smell of smoke and fire.

I ran out the front door and across the street next to a pay phone to see the building in flames.

Stage 12
Message from Stephen

There came the day that I took my medication as my doctor prescribed. I fought it tooth and nail—or more like Aylese and Skully fought me about it. We all agreed it was for the best but we all fought about what it would do to us. In the next few days we talked less and less. Not a whisper of doing something insane or a rebel yell or even a small joke. I woke up one morning to silence with only a knife and a pack of cigarettes left on the kitchen table for me to remember them by. I wanted to think back at all of the fun times we had but I couldn’t recall anything-and every time I tried my brain would be jolted by what felt like a lightning bolt in my cerebrum along with a bright flash of light.

I found it hard to get out of bed after that. I mean life was quiet and I could think clearly, but that was the problem: I could think clearly. I could remember everything that happened: I could recall that I started smoking at a young age and how many times I had used that knife, a knife that I stole from a flea market, to hurt or kill others. I had done everything—it was always me. I was able to see the faces of everyone I had murdered in the self-defense by my insane mind for my sanity.

One morning I grabbed the knife and held it against my wrist.
But I couldn’t do it.
I knew what I had to do instead of letting myself go.

So, I cleaned up the apartment, washed the dishes, and took care of my laundry. Then, I placed the knife and the cigarettes into two plastic bags and put them in my backpack. I turned off the lights, left the apartment and walked down to the police station.

It was time to face up to what I had done.
It was possible that the detective they would assign to my case would tell me I was crazy.
And he would be right.

I could then lay out all of the unsolved murders from those days gone by. I could tell him how liberating it felt to have friends to help me in my times of need—but not in the way I needed.
“It’s the thought that counts,” I’d say as the detective’s face would read complete disbelief with a bit of horror to go along with it.

Maybe I’d go to jail or maybe trapped forever in a hospital ward.

For the first time in a long time, I felt genuine.

I felt happy.