Chad was new to New York City, he came with three other guys from college, but he had separated from them for a while and now needed to get back to where they were meeting. He was on the wrong side of Central Park from where he wanted to be. Despite it being dusk he decides to run through the Central Park, instead of going around, hoping to come out near to where he should be. He’s a Midwest guy and a bit naïve about city life.

That night some six women had staked out in the park to nab a would-be rapist to make an example out of him. They each had communication devices and no one would be more than forty feet away from another. Armed with mace as well, nothing could go wrong.

He’s jogging through the park at a good pace on one of the secondary paths and not sure where he’s at or if he’s still going in toward their hotel. Chad hears a woman begin to yell. She sounded close but her voice went silent. Chad runs through a hedge and over a slight hill. There’s a guy on top of a woman squirming and fighting against him. The man just slugged her terribly hard and pushed himself into her. Chad yells and runs at the guy, the guy was in when he realized Chad had yelled. Chad runs and tackles him. The guy is bigger and prepared to fight. He bites Chad to get him to let go. He shoves and kicks to get away. He stands up and as he is running over the woman, and he kicks her head as he does.

Chad stays to help her, though she’s now struggling against Chad, thinking her attacker still has a hold of her. Soon five women are holding Chad down. Another seeks to comfort Kim. The women are holding Chad saying many disparaging things to him. No one’s listening to him and Kimberly has fainted.

Before Chad goes unconscious one of the statements he hears is, “You’re going to get what you deserve.” When he wakes Chad is hurting and he’s strapped down like a patient in a hospital.

He asks, “What happened is she alright?” Chad had awakened an hour earlier but just stared and did not respond to the women.

Addie asks, “Aren’t you going to ask about yourself?” She turns to another person, “He's trying to deny what he did to her.”

Chad asks, “Did I get to her in time? Did you catch the guy who raped her?”

Stephanie angrily says, “We didn’t see anyone else, but you’ll never rape any woman ever again.”

Addie says, “But you never know, maybe the next time someone is raped it might be you.”

Chad says, “It sounds like you got it all wrong. I stopped the guy. Untie me and let me sit up, and I’ll explain.”

A woman in a hospital garment comes to the table, she’s taking off surgical gloves, “You probably would like to run or make excuses. That is until you try to run and find out how much it hurts after surgery.”

Chad panics, “What happened, did I get hurt?” He tries to sit up but he hurts down by his legs, ‘You didn’t do that did you?” One of the women holds up a jar of flesh he doesn’t recognize.

“This is what should happen to every rapist. We intended to get to you before you got the dastardly deed done but something happened to Kim’s iPhone. Even if you might not have been the one who raped her, you deserve the same fate for helping.”

Chad says, “Ask this Kim, she’ll tell you.”

Steph says, “And I suspect it was the other guy who kicked her in the head as well. She’s in the hospital. If and when she wakes up; she might or might not want to see you, she might or might not even remember. You’ve raped one too many of our sisters.”

“We were out to stop you guys before another woman got hurt. I guess it isn’t as easy as we planned, but we got you. Now at least you’ll see life from the other side.”

Chad fades out from the surgery and it is another two hours before he wakes up again. He awakes, left in a basement, as he hears people coming down the stairs. “Don’t hurt me. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

It is not the women as he feared, but the police responding to a 911 call. The police officers try to act professionally and not laugh. One asks, “We’ve been told you were the man who raped Kim Hopkins.”

Chad says, “They got the wrong man, I stopped the rapist. Some women jumped me thinking I was the man. They beat me into submission and I fainted. When I woke I was like this.” Chad begins to cry like a scared boy. “Can a doctor put me back together? I shouldn’t be like this; I’m innocent of anything.”

There’s the sound of ambulance blaring outside as some others are coming into the house. A woman medic says, “Is this the one the vigilantes did a sex change on? ...It’s wrong but it's poetic justice.”

She hears Chad whimpering, “Darling, you might want to learn and change the pitch of your whimpering. I don’t have much time for a guy who whimpers when he’s caught.”

“You don’t understand, I’m innocent, I attacked and stopped the real rapist… Won’t anyone listen to me, Kim can tell you.”

One officer says, “You know the name of your victim. Did you know it before you attacked her?”

“She was on her back when she was slugged and then raped. I was too far away to help her. I was there next and I tried to get her to stop crying. I guess she thought I was the rapist. I knocked him off by tackling him, but he was bigger. We struggled and he bit me. It was as he ran away that he kicked her in the head.”

The woman paramedic said, “Why didn’t you stop him or go after him if that’s what you said happened?”

“I thought she needed me more.”

A police officer lifts a pair of jeans, “Are these yours?”

Chad says, “Yes, you’ll be able to tell from them I didn’t rape her.”

The officer turns the jeans around to show blood and the pants open at the zipper area. Chad yells, “That must be from when I held her. She had been hurt and must have been bleeding.”

Officer O'Toole asks, “You acknowledge that you were there when Kim was raped and you acknowledge these are your jeans?”

“Yes, but you have the wrong idea. Don’t you think I would have gotten away if I was guilty?”

“The caller says you did try to get her again or tried to get away. But…”

Chad says, “Those women stopped me and jumped to the wrong conclusion.”

O'Toole says, “Chad, you are under arrest for the rape of Kim Hopkins. You have the right to remain silent and anything you say can and will be used against you. Do you understand your rights…” Chad interrupts, professing his innocence.

O'Toole asks, “Can you identify the people who did this to you?”

“Yes, they were women. They said they were working together to catch rapists like me. They said, "I got what I deserved. The surgeon took off her gloves after she checked where I was hurt.”

“Was that before or after the surgery?”

Chad says, “It had to be afterward, ‘cause I wasn’t hurt down there when the rape happened.”

Another policeman says, “So you were there when she was raped?”

“Yes, but I wasn’t the one who raped her. I tried to stop him.”

“But you wanted to rape her that’s why your pants were open and had blood on them. You did want to rape her, didn’t you? Did you think she was attractive?”

“I wasn’t worried about how she looked, I just ran to find her.”

Chad was soon lifted onto a gurney and taken by the ambulance to a hospital. A woman doctor looked at him saying, “Other than giving her a regiment of antibiotics to make sure she has no infections; the surgery was well done.”

Chad says, “But can you reverse the surgery?”

She says, “I would not recommend anyone try that at this point. You need to heal from this surgery and allow the various tissue heal. If you do anything now; it is quite likely you would damage things beyond repair for now or in the future.”

“The surgery seemed very good, do you like how you look?”

Chad says, “My name is Chad, does my body look like someone who should be named Chad?”

Dr. Campbell says, “Would you want me to request one of our patient representatives look into how to change your name to reflect your present gender? Personally, I think you should take your time to heal. If you give yourself a chance, you will likely come to like the new you.”

“Nurse Denise, you have a good bedside manner with patients. I want you to stay with… Chad. ...is there a name you’d be more comfortable being called?”

“Cynthia, Cynthia Brock,” Chad says. Chad surprised himself in saying that, despite having thought about it.

Dr. Campbell says, “Denise please stay with Cynthia Brock and care for her today. If you’re up to it, make it a twelve hour or double shift. She is quite vulnerable at this time. Remember you are a medical nurse and that her wellbeing is your primary duty. Your responsibility is not to help the police or other law officials. We are not judging her to be guilty that will be for others to decide.”

Chad’s face softens, “Thanks, it will be a welcome change to have someone to care about me. Would it be possible to get something to eat?”

Dr. Campbell says, “Denise will help you to order. There are a few things on the menu you might not want to put through your urinary tract quite yet. Would you be open to wearing a nightshirt or nightgown? They would be easier in keeping any modesty as you get up and move around. I strongly recommend you be sitting up and then walking around. You do not want adhesions to be setting in around your surgery area.”

Denise speaks up, “I would suspect you’re about a size 12 and could easily work your way down to a size 10, even an eight.”

Chad began to say, “Why would I want to do that? …Sorry, I know you’re only trying to help me, but I never thought I’d get to see me as a girl, let alone a smaller clothes size.”

Denise waits until others are all gone, with the exception that there is a police officer outside my door. She says, “The way you spoke before. It made me think you’ve imagined yourself some time to be a woman, am I correct?”

Cynthia says, “When we’re younger doesn’t everyone at some time imagine they’re a person of the opposite sex. My mother told me it was normal but that I’d grow out of it. She did get worried because she said I wasn’t trying hard enough to be me.

“I liked baseball and swimming but not the rougher sports.”

Denise and Cynthia get into conversations and it becomes known that Cynthia is who Chad imagined as his female self. It was after Denise’s extended shift that she asked. “Would you like me to paint your fingernails and toenails?” Denise signed out as a nurse and came back to do Cynthia’s nails. It was now into the second day that Cyndi was in the hospital and four days since the incident.

Dr. Campbell came in the next day to check in on Cynthia, “It looks like you have relaxed and become comfortable with being a woman for now. How was your night and having Nurse Denise?”

“It was surprisingly good and having Denise helped me to relax and become comfortable. I had not planned on talking about being a woman, but we did. It made it easier to consider that I may never be able to be a man again. That is for the immediate future at least…”

To be continued…

Previously… Dr. Campbell came in the next day to check in on Cynthia, “It looks like you have relaxed and become comfortable with being a woman for now. How was your night and having Nurse Denise? …It was surprisingly good, Denise helped her feel comfortable. Cyndi hadn’t planned on talking about being a woman but did. It made a hard time easier.

Dr. Campbell says, “I’m glad to hear that because as your doctor I need to recommend you begin therapy today.” I see they took out the catheter as I asked. Was that last night or early this morning?

"Bleeping early this morning."

She shows Cindy some tapered cylinders, “Do you know what these are and what they are used for?”

Chad says, “No, but I gather you will tell me. One looks like what a jeweler uses to measure the ring size.”

Dr. Campbell is amused by the answer, “They are dildos, these finger-like cylinders, are used to stretch the wall of the cervix of your new vagina.” She pauses to let me take in what she has said. She even repeats it. “Would it be okay if I demonstrate it to you?”

“If it isn’t needed for peeing; I don’t think I’m interested,” Chad says.

The doctor smiles, “Well I’m going to ask you to allow me to demonstrate it anyway. Medically, it will be helpful if you develop health problems such as a urinary infection or prevent adhesions from your surgery.”

A nurse had come into the room and closed the door behind her. The nurse helps to remove the cover and sheet over Cyndi. Cynthia was asked to spread and bend her legs at the knee. She’s become very self-conscious. That is before with gloved hands they put a lubricate on between her legs. The nurse says, “We do this because your body is not yet producing enough juices and the lining of the cervix walls is probably too dry.”

Dr. Campbell says, “This may feel strange but it shouldn’t hurt.” One of the narrow cylinders is carefully placed at the opening and inserted. She was correct it felt strange to Cyndi like she was being penetrated. Nurse Talbot is holding one hand and the other is on her leg. She encourages Cyndi saying, “You’re doing well to remain relaxed.”

Cynthia says, “That’s easier for you to say, you’re not having something rammed deep inside you.”

Doctor Campbell says, “It’s barely an inch in and we need to go four to six inches in.” The object gave Cyndi feelings of joy that she neither expected nor wanted. The doctor had pushed it in and pulled it out only to repeat it one more time. The next cylinder she says, “This one begins near where the last one left off.” But Cyndi knew it got bigger as it went in deeper. The nice sensation she had before is there again even greater. Dr. Campbell does it several times this time.

Cynthia asks, “Is this what women call an orgasm?”

Nurse Talbot says, “Not even close. Have you ever had an orgasm as a man?”

“Of course I did, I’ve had sex and it was very awesome like this.”

Dr. Campbell says, “It is like that as you heal the walls will secrete their juices to help lubricate inside of you and the feelings grow. But as Nurse Talbot indicated orgasms can be much more intense than what you’re feeling now. Some orgasms are much more intense than others. If you’re enjoying this, you’ll be interested in knowing women can have multiple orgasms at a time. A man’s organ is likely to collapse and require 15, 20 to 30 minutes to recuperate from one orgasm. Often you guys can ejaculate with a relatively mild sensation and not have an orgasm.”

Chad says, “Sorry, but this information is more than I want to know. I am not going to ever have sex with a man inside of me.”

The nurse says, “Don’t say what you’ll never do. Many who transition and say similar statements have to take their words back.” The doctor has inserted it in and pulled it most of the way out. She repeats it two times more and then once more. Cyndi’s breathing has picked up and after the dildo pulls it out the last time Cyndi realizes that her body is glistening from her body’s reaction. “A therapist will be around to do this two or three times per day.”

They talked some more before Dr. Campbell continued with her rounds. An hour later she stopped and asked, “Are you up to visiting Ms. Kimberly Hopkins, she has requested a visit if you’re willing.”

Cyndi says, “Won't the guards have something to say about me leaving this hospital and going to the one where she is at?”

“They have already approved it and she has a private room in this hospital. It will not take long to get to her room.” I am soon up sitting in a wheelchair. We go up two floors and then over to another set of elevators.

They went to another set of elevators, but it seemed to Cyndi that they went down and got off again. Then they went down that hall until Dr. Campbell asked them to wait. Cyndi guessed she needed to check if they were ready for her to visit. They were soon asked in and though Cyndi did not recognize her, she guessed it was Kimberly in the bed with her head wrapped, an IV and even her jaw had bandages.

Another doctor asks, “So do you recognize her?”

Chad spoke, “Not really, but I assume this is Kimberly.”

Dr. Campbell says, “Aren’t you going by Cynthia now? Your voice was softer last night and earlier.”

Now Cynthia says, “I’m sorry you were hurt, but I wasn’t the one.” The person with the stethoscope says, “But you acknowledge you were one of the two who was there. How do you account for her head injury? It took more than one kick to do the damage she has?”

Cyndi gets defensive, “I don’t know, I do know the man I saw slammed her head down and hit her across the face with his backhand. But I was still fifty feet away. I lunged and tackled him off of her and we fought.”

“So why did you let go of him?”

“I didn’t, he was bigger and forced himself loose from my grip and then he ran over Kim kicking her in the head. That is when I decided to help her instead of running off after him.”

“So you felt remorse for what you two did and decided to help her.”

Cyndi says, “I felt bad that I couldn’t get there faster nor that I could have beat him to a pulp as angry as I was. That was my only remorse if you want to call it that. I too am a victim of having tried to do a good deed.”

Sarcastically the Doctor says, “You’re comparing yourself to Ms. Hopkins?”

Cyndi looks to Kimberly, “Kind of, she was trying to do something good in setting a trap for would-be rapists. She was assaulted by the person she wanted to catch with the help of friends.”

Kim speaks up, “There were two men, and you spoke of one. Can you show me how you would have held me down and hit me across the face and tell me to be a quiet bitch?”

Cyndi says, “But I didn’t.”

Kim says, “I want to believe you, but there was another guy.”

Cyndi says, “If I had you on the ground I would have held you like this and hit you like this.”

“You’re left-handed like the other guy.” She begins to weep.

Cyndi says, “Yes, but I’ve been taught never to hit a woman.”

Kim says, “You sound a little like the man, but not quite.” She’s still crying and Dr. Campbell tells the nurse, “Please get Cynthia back to her room.”

Kim says, “Please not yet. I’d like to know about her and her family as well as her about my dreams and hopes.” She says, “Can she and the nurse stay here as we visit and you two leave?”

The other doctor says, “I would advise against that.”

Kim asks, “Am I too being held here against my will?” Dr. Campbell convinces the other doctor that they should be safe. After some instructions, they leave.

Kim says, “I’m from up near Syracuse in a smaller community, actually out in the country. My parents weren’t too happy that I came to college in New York City.”

Cyndi says, “I’m from a small town near Fort Wayne, Indiana and I go to the university in Fort Wayne. I came here after I finished my semester. My mother is getting here later today. I’m not sure about my dad, he’s usually pretty busy. If they think I’m guilty, my ass will be fried. If I have to remain a woman, they’ll say I was so stupid that I deserve it.”

Kim asks, “They won’t just take your side, why is that?”

Cyndi says, “Matt’s the one everyone looks up to, I’ve never measured up to him.”

Kim asks, “What about sisters?”

“I have two, Carrie’s the oldest and graduated from the university last year. Sage, well Sage is my little sister and everyone loves her. She’ll be a high school senior next year. If my dad doesn’t come, Sage probably will be so that my mother doesn’t travel alone.”

Kim waits, wanting Cynthia to say more, “I’m a business and communications man at IPFW. Well, I guess I’m just a student after now it will probably change.”

“So why were you in New York City? Don’t you know women aren’t just ‘its’?”

Kim asks, “So why were you going through Central Park as it was getting dark?”

Cynthia states, “I got separated from the others and was on the east side of Central Park. We were to meet near one of the hotels on the west side. I was jogging across hoping it was a shortcut. That’s when I heard your scream for help. There wasn’t a path, but I was fairly sure of the direction. I came over a hillcrest and could barely see you on the ground with the guy on top. I yelled and ran toward you. …About twenty feet away he was getting up and to look at me. By then I was tackling him.”

Kim asks, “Do guys from Fort Wayne have excuses ready when something goes wrong?”

Cyndi smiled a little, “I’ve never been short of an excuse if I need one. That might be why people might not take me seriously.”

Kim is reaching out to take hold of Cyndi’s hand and they’re soon next to each other holding hands. Then she says, “How am I to know you’re not making up an excuse now?” Cyndi’s ready to cry and tries to pull her hand back. Kim asks, “Please don’t, I need a feel for if you’re lying or not.”

“My friends say they caught you over me. One says you were trying something and another says you we with me and your arms around me.”

Cyndi, “I had lifted you, you were moaning and crying. I wanted you to know you were safe but you kept struggling against me. You were afraid I was going to harm you. That’s when your friends started to hit me and pull me off to the ground. There were too many of them and they wouldn’t believe me. I thought they called 911 but I don’t remember much until I woke up. I couldn’t believe what they did to me.

I thought it was probably the next morning after that when the police found me, but I guess it was a full day or two later.”

Cynthia was tired and fell asleep when she was back in her room. She did not know what time it was when she awoke hearing her mother and sister’s voices. Sage believing her brother is innocent says, “Boy you got your ass in trouble this time and now I have another sister. You know I didn’t want you to be changing genders.”

“Shush Sage.” Cyndi’s mother has Cyndi’s hand now as is talking to her, “Sweetie, we’re here now, we’ll help you.” Cynthia’s catheter tube had been taken out in the morning and she now feels the urge to pee. She scoots out of the bed and trots for the toilet, shutting the door behind her.

Sage says, “It's strange seeing her in a nightgown running to pee. …Sis, do you know to gently wipe your front?” It is the first time Cyndi’s peed sitting down. She finds it embarrassing enough what she’s doing. More so because Sage and her mother are outside the bathroom. She wipes as Sage suggests and then pulls up her panty and washes her hands. She runs her fingers through her hair to brush it back. Seeing her mom and Sage, she gives them hugs. She sits on the edge of her bed and tries to pull the sheet over her lap.

Her mom asks, “What’s happened to your voice?”

She says, “I’m trying to sound the way I look. When someone comes in and if I use my voice I get strange looks. …I’m told I need be like his three to six months before they dare do the surgery to change me back to me.”

Sage bluntly says, “Mom said this is the new you.” Cyndi stares at Sage, not knowing what to say. Sage says, “It’s not like you make a bad-looking girl and without your stuff to make testosterone you should change some more. If you don’t change back you might want a boob job.”

Mom raises her voice to Sage, “Enough young lady. There’s a lot for her to deal with right now.”

Sage asks, “Can I at least brush out her hair to help keep my mouth quiet?”

Mother said, “Cynthia, I hear you’ve formally been charged and are to appear in court to see a grand jury for you to plead innocent and the judge to set bail. We haven’t had time to contact a lawyer for you yet. I guess there is a public defender who stopped by. How was that person?”

A woman speaks up from behind Chad’s mother. “I’m just getting here so Cynthia won’t have an opinion yet.” She introduced herself, “I’m Maggie Rush from the Public Defender’s Office. By way of introduction; I’ve been a public defender for over ten years and I asked for this case. I think I’m the best hope you have to be taken seriously and well-represented.” She extends her hand with a card to Cyndi’s mother and then to Cyndi, “You’re Cynthia, I take it, or would you rather I call you Chad?”

She’s at least offering Cynthia a choice which Chad notes. “You might as well call me Cynthia or Cyndi unless you think for my case that I should remain Chad.” Cynthia motions to a chair that Sage has vacated.

They talked together for an extended time. Cyndi shared her story once completely and then at least one more time as questions were asked. Finally, Maggie said, “My thought, is you present yourself as Cynthia. Both as a victim of a rush to judgment with dramatic life changes and as a Good Samaritan falsely accused of a crime.”

She says, “The charges were made by an Assistant Attorney of Manhattan and not by Kimberly Hopkins. You gave some answers supposing it was to Kim and her doctor, not knowing the doctor was the City Medical Examiner.”

Cyndi, “Do you mean that they knew they were deceiving me? I thought the doctor in Kim’s room was her doctor!”

Maggie says, “Technically, we’ll call it deception and misrepresentation. Your doctor has neither answered my calls nor answered the question if she knew who the other doctor was. With you as her patient, she should not have ethically been party to that deception.”

“I want you to be open about any difficulties you have in adjusting to your new self or about the incident in the park and after. I will not beat around the bush, you have less than a 25% chance of becoming a man again and even a smaller likelihood that you would be happy with that change if you choose it.”

“I do hope you make a healthy transition. That you accept who you are and come to love yourself whatever you choose. Please let me know how I can help you be here for you as it’s important.”

Mom and Sage had left to check into their hotel and came back after dinner. Mom had been a beautician when Chad was a child. Sage talks Cyndi into allowing their mom to shape her hair into a more feminine look. They hadn’t asked for permission and one nurse complained about that.

Cynthia’s Mom barked back and the nurse did what she needed and left.

Cyndi’s mom says, “We’ll need a good beautician with the right equipment and hair extensions to give you a good look. …Let Sage do a little makeup and give you lessons.”

Sage found it humorous that the only therapy Chad was having was to stretch his new opening so she could accommodate a man for sex. While Cyndi does not find it funny, her mother insists, “Cynthia, I insist you do this. We’re all looking after your future welfare.”

It was early Monday when officers of the courts and guards came early. Clothes are thrown to Cyndi and she’s told to dress and get ready for court. Her attorney calls to the room. “Cynthia your court appearance has been moved up to early this morning. Please cooperate and I will see you at court.”

She wasn’t given time to shower and the clothes were ill-fitting. Mom’s hair trimming makes her look more feminine, while the clothes are for a man. She does her best to cooperate. And soon she’s in shackles being taken to court…

To be continued…

Cyndi meets her lawyer on the third floor, who asks, “Why aren’t you dressed as Cynthia as we agreed?”

Cyndi says, “I was not given a choice. I wasn’t even allowed to call my mother about the changes of time or the courtroom.”

The lawyer says, “I’m sorry, do your best to collect yourself. Address the Judge as your Honor. After the charges are read, you will be asked to plead innocent or guilty. Simply stated, ‘I’m innocent your Honor.’

There are delays, we were to be before the Judge at 8:30 a.m. Our courtroom is switched to the fourth floor, and my family will be going to the wrong spot. Judge Bradley Oliver is presiding and the charges are read. They now include rape, assault, and attempted murder, the last charge surprises and shocks me.

“Your Honor, I too am a victim. I’m a Good Samaritan and I plead innocent to the charges.”

Judge Oliver says, “You are certainly not here to be judged as a Good Samaritan nor as a victim. The charges of rape, brutality, and attempted murder should not be taken lightly as you seem to do. You are to be held for trial. Because of your attitude, I set the bail at $60,000 cash bond. Is there anyone to post your bond?”

Ms. Maggie says, “Your Honor, my client did not mean to be disrespectful and we apologize for any offense. Because of what has happened to Chad, we ask that my client is treated as a woman and not be held in a cell with men. I expect that once I meet with my family that bail arrangements will be made yet today.”

“Ms. Rush, the apology is accepted, and as long as jail space allows we will respect your request. Chad will be treated as Cynthia but the prosecution will probably insist that by them he will continue to be Chad Brock for the length of the trial as charged.”

A woman guard comes to take Chad, “Don’t worry Cynthia you will be changing to our basic orange jumper. I expect if your bail is paid soon enough, you will be able to remain in your own cell.”

Maggie Rush had gone looking and phoning for the Brock family. They had been setting up bail for the presumed amount of $25- 30,000. And then came to the courthouse. Here they feared they had missed the arraignment or had bad information.

Mrs. Brock was devastated by the charges against Chad and shocked in disbelief that her son’s bail was set so high. It would take until 3:00 pm to get the higher bail arranged and paid.” She and her daughter Sage did have an outfit Cynthia could wear as she was released. Reporters were waiting to interview Chad, but they did not recognize Cynthia, her mom, or her sister.

They first went back to the hotel where mother Brock insisted, “Cyndi, you need to take a shower and lose your body hair. We have located three places where we can get you fitted for breast forms.”

“Mom slowdown. I’m not ready for those changes.”

They soon go to Macy’s where Cynthia was treated to a makeover by a woman demonstrating a new line of makeup. Chad/Cynthia was anxious throughout this time She heard the oohs and aahs of others as she was kept from seeing the work in process. Sage did ask Cyndi to note how small the dots of the foundation were. Cynthia knew they had used a dot of something to cover some blemishes. But once a light makeup was applied her mother says, “You now have the complexion of an attractive young woman, my daughter.”

The cosmetician took the freedom to pull stray hairs and to shape Cynthia’s eyebrows before she started to use eye makeup. She used a green eyeshadow as she remarked about Cynthia’s hazel eyes. She used the same eye pencil to trace around her eyes and on her eyebrows. A mascara wand was used to separate and enhance her eyelashes.

By this time Cyndi was saying “enough, enough,” but Aria doing the makeup had the agreement of the on watchers. Blush was used to define her cheekbones and to shape the look of her face. Aria now outlined Cyndi’s lips and used a luscious red lip gloss to fill the lips out.

The makeup was done, but Sage had presented Aria with two sets of earrings. She asked Cyndi, “Do you agree that these are attractive? …Which do you think would capture the attention of other women?”

She wisely pointed to the green jade earrings. She had not paid attention to the fact that Aria had marked her earlobes with dots. Then Aria used a gun to put in the first earring and then confirmed the left ear was properly marked.

Her mom proclaims, “Cynthia, you have officially become a young woman.”

There was a voice from the back of the crowd, “It surprises me, but I tend to agree.” It was Kimberly, “One of my friends followed you from your hotel and called me. I decided to come and check for myself.” She said, “Others thought you had little choice, but none of us thought you’d accept your fate so soon.”

Sage speaks up with anger in her voice, “My broth… she’s innocent, but she’s accepted our suggestion and her lawyer that she accept things for now. I wish you were as forthright in accepting that she did not hurt you but saved you from the attack continuing.”

Kim says, “It was the assistant attorney that charged Chad with the crime, not me. He took my best recollections as the truth. My friends assured me that was the correct thing to do.”

Ma Brock says, “But they have an invested interest hoping it is true. Less they acknowledge they over-reacted and that this dramatic change compounded the tragedy of all that happened. We don’t want them charged with any crimes, but for them somehow take responsibility.”

Kim sat down on the corner of a display, noticeably shaken. Cyndi’s Mom says, “Cynthia said she thought you have a caring heart. She even said, "She thought the motives of your group weren’t bad, just too zealous for anyone’s good.”

Cyndi speaks up, “Mom, I thank you, but enough said for now. I want to see how bad I look.”

Kim mutters, but Cyndi still heard her, “You could be my sister.”

Sage stares at Kim and then Cyndi and back again. Then says, “It’s true, but that would be haunting for my sister.”

Aria turns Cynthia in her chair allowing her to look into a mirror close to her. Cynthia gazes at the image in front of her. It’s the image of a person she’s never seen. She pauses and looks toward Kim. She is not certain at first that it is not Kimberly. She notices that Kim’s hair is longer and has more curl. The outfits do not match either.

Cynthia says, “It won’t be haunting unless I can’t adjust to being the new me. I am more attractive than I dared hope.” Cynthia got up from the makeup chair and went to hug her mother and sister.

The small crowd had dispersed except for a young girl, Deedee, and her mother. Dee says, “Why don’t you know what you looked like?” Her mother grabbed her saying, “Dee that wasn’t polite. It is none of your business, tell her that you’re sorry.”

Cyndi knelt to look at Dee eye to eye. “It’s complicated; we big people aren’t even in agreement. But I indeed look very different than I did before. …I’m going to need to purchase some makeup. Do you think this makeup looks good on me?” Dee and her mother both said, “Yes.”

Dee’s Mom is thinking something and then finally asks, “I’m getting nosy where I shouldn’t, but my interest has been peaked. Were you and Kim, two of the people reported in the Central Park incident last week?” Before I could answer she says, “I thought you’d have been placed in a crappy spot if you had indeed been a Good Samaritan like you claim.”

Cyndi says, “Yes, we’re those two and it is nice that someone appreciates the predicament I’m in.”

Mom and Sage excuse us. They have picked out the makeup needed to duplicate this look and several other pieces of makeup they say Cyndi could use. Sage speaks up, “I’m going to help pick out some of the clothes you need. We can’t take all day. Plus I am going to be much too hungry if wait around here talking.”

We get back to our hotel room and my phone rings. I can tell it’s my father, so I answer quickly, “Hi dad, we’ve had a hectic and troubling day, has Mom told you about it?”

My father’s surprised because Cynthia is using her voice and dad’s expecting Chad. “Sorry Dad, but this is who I’m going to be for a while. We both need to adjust and get used to it?”

Dad says, “I hope that doesn’t mean you’re going to roll over and let them walk all over you. I’m sorry for you but you already were too much of a wimp.”

I ask, “Why would you think that. Mom’s here, she can tell you. We’re not giving up, we even think we have a good lawyer to help with my case. Her name is Maggie Rush and she’s kind of a veteran in their public defender’s office. She even requested to take my case.”

Dad says, “Isn’t there any man who’d be willing to take your case. No offense, but you’re going to go up against a city attorney in the biggest city in America. Let me talk to your Mom again, I’m sure you can do better.”

“Dad, unless you’re paying for the lawyer, I have the lawyer I want. Here you can talk to Mom now.”

During the night, Cynthia became disturbed and woke up and calling out for help. The strange hotel room and being a woman had Cyndi troubled. When Mom came, it was Chad’s voice speaking. “Mom, who did this?” The possibilities in his mind ranged from aliens, a sick gang to a horrible nightmare. It took over a half-hour for him to wake up and to remember what had happened. The nightgown was stretched and well soaked with sweat.

They took an hour to watch television. Cynthia was finally relaxed and sleepy again. Sage agreed to sleep in Cynthia’s room on the floor. But it was Cyndi who started on the floor. But, sometime between 3:00 a.m. and 7:30 Cyndi had moved into the bed and snuggled with her sister.”

Once they were awake, Sage delighted in helping her new sister. Cyndi did not understand Sage at first using a cotton swab and alcohol on her pierced ears. But Chad had finally remembered watching his sister put her earrings in and then Sage had her ears pierced. Their older sister complained that Sage was able to get her ears pierced at a younger age. That is not the case with Cynthia.

Mom says, “Other than our appointment with Maggie, this is a day for you to relax. Hopefully, we can do some things like shopping together. I do have the address and names of some appliance places for women. Are you open to that?”

Cynthia is puzzled, “Mom, I think it is a bit early to go buy some appliances and set up a house.”

Sage giggles to the point of sitting down less she falls. “Mom wasn’t talking about that kind of appliances clueless. We both think you could use some breasts. Hopefully, you’ll grow your own, but that will take time and you might still need some help. It would be interesting if we could get you to lactate after you mature a little.”

“I am not going to some apartment store and look at breast forms in front of a bunch of strangers,” Cyndi says. Her Mom explains how the places will be discretely placed on the second or third floor of a larger building and secluded. Some being near a women’s clinic or cancer treatment centers.

They found one such place in upper Manhattan, by 9:30 that morning. Truth be told the people knew Cynthia was coming. “Well young woman, you are fortunate. We just happen to have an opening where we can go over things with you. Maybe you’d even be open to trying some forms, it is the best way to see how good our products are, and the difference they can make for you.”

Sage and their mother encouraged Cyndi to put on a B+ cup bra. Connie the representative they worked with, placed a basic breast form into the cups. Cyndi looked okay if she had a bra and top that fully covered her. “I like the difference it makes in my overall appearance, but not how they feel nor how they look. I shouldn’t be having breasts.”

It was the third set of forms that looked realistic and as Sage noted they move like the real thing. Without thinking about the time of her meeting with Maggie she agreed to try wearing them and come back in mid-afternoon. Connie did such a great job in gluing them on and blending in the seams with her own body. She was a little embarrassed when Maggie commented, “I would suggest you not be sporting any cleavage when we go to court or if you need to give a deposition.”

The Assistant Attorney for Manhattan who had this case and Cynthia waived the jury trial with Maggie’s agreement. It would bring the case to trial earlier, June 12. Hopefully, it would shorten its length by at least a day. Attorney Adam Miller made insinuations that Chad was at an LGBT-friendly establishment and possibly drunk. However, the only witness who thought he recognized Chad, contradicted his own testimony under cross-examination…

To be continued

Previously… The Assistant Attorney for Manhattan who had this case and Cynthia waived the jury trial at Maggie’s recommendation. It would bring the case to trial earlier, June 12 and shorten its length. Attorney Brad Adams made insinuations that Chad was at a LGBT friendly establishment. However the only witness who thought he recognized Chad, contradicted his own testimony under cross examination.

Come the trial, Tanya a friend of Kim’s identified Chad as being the person they found over Kim when they found Kimberly. She did not personally see the inappropriate handling of Kim by Chad. “She was bleeding and he had her blood on himself. How else could that have happened?” She confessed, “Yes, he denied hurting her, but we caught him. I wasn’t surprised he made up a story.”

Maggie says, “Chad said and several footprints substantiate he responded to her yell and came running over a hill, some seventy-five feet away. I want to ask, ‘How far away were you and your group from Kim when she got raped?’”

Tanya said, “She was no further than 40” feet from the next person. She heard the scream for help. That was when we went running to find her.”

Maggie says, “That was Chad who yelled then for help, as he did not feel safe in leaving her alone. Your friend Tina said she had not recognized where the sound first came from because she did not recognize it as Kim’s voice.” Maggie poses a question, “Why did you not hear Kim’s first scream, nor recognize the call for help as being from Kim?”

Tanya says, “She did not answer her phone and then we heard the yell for help. I don’t believe it was Chad.”

Maggie says, “But you’re not sure are you?”

Tanya didn’t answer and Maggie did not insist she answer. But Maggie did ask, “Why are most of the other students not willing to testify?”

“They’re like a lot of people in New York City. There’s always a threat of a lawsuit against them and me for what happens; like what Chad is claiming.”

Maggie says, “Do you acknowledge that Chad underwent a life-changing surgery for something he professed not to do?” Tanya became angry and her response was no longer calm. “He did it and it would have been too much trauma to put Kim through in identifying her rapist in court. Rape victims are usually victimized again in the courts and press. We were sure she would identify him when she woke from being raped. He was taken away before the police were there, but we did leave his jeans for evidence. Both his and her blood were on his jeans.”

Maggie says, “There was also blood from a third person, whom Chad said he tackled away from Kimberly. If that is true, doesn’t that make him a Good Samaritan and a victim of injustice on your part?” Maggie stopped her questions to Tanya.

Tanya did respond, “If that was how it was yes, but we didn’t think so.”

Maggie says, “That sounds more like an opinion, not facts.” Then there was a break for lunch.

During that time, Tina the girl closest to Kim told the Manhattan Attorney that she was now afraid to testify.

The Medical Examiner, who posed as a surgeon when Kim and Chad met in the hospital, was then to be called as the next witness. He did a good job of presenting the case the prosecutor wanted. It temporarily helped the prosecuting attorney’s case.

Maggie asked, “Dr. Johnson, do you have medical credentials to practice medicine at the Hospital where the meeting of Kim and Cynthia took place?”

“Numerous times I have been there as the medical examiner.”

“But you are not certified by the hospital to practice medicine there. Thus your posing as a doctor in a patient’s room is a deception is it not?”

“I never said I was Kim’s doctor, nor did Dr. Campbell.”

Maggie says, “As a medical examiner are you not an officer of the court?” He acknowledges he was. “Records show that charges had already been filed by the Prosecutor. Did you remind Cynthia of her rights?”

Dr. Johnson says, “Chad was Mirandized as he was taken from the basement and brought there to the hospital.”

Maggie says, “So you’re saying you did not tell her of her rights nor consider that she might have been in shock when they first found her in the basement?”

“I was not there nor was I asked to offer my opinion on that,” he said.

Maggie says, “It was recorded that his rights were spoken to her, but there is no record like normally that she responded. Is that a clerical error or because she did not answer?”

Dr. Johnson says, “I was not there, so I cannot tell you.”

Maggie retorts, “But in preparing for this trial, you did read the records didn’t you?”

“I did but I did not notice that as a problem.”

Maggie says, “But as a thorough medical examiner that should have raised a red flag for you about her state of mind and ability to answer. When you were in with Kim and Cynthia. You did not check on the state of Cynthia’s ability to reason.”

The Prosecutor objected that Ms. Rush made a statement and not a question. When the Judge upheld the objection, Maggie says, “I withdraw the statement and apologize to the court, your Honor.

The Prosecutor tried to submit the Examiner’s transcript of that meeting. Maggie rose in opposition. “Your Honor, I object to this being submitted as evidence as it came off of a recording that the Examiner and the Prosecution have been unwilling to produce to substantiate its accuracy.”

The Judge said, “Until the accuracy of this transcript can be substantiated it will not be accepted as item ‘B’. Objection sustained!”

The trial went for another hour before being stopped for the night. But the judge did have Cyndi taken into custody for the duration of the trial. Cyndi began to cry as the bailiff took her away. She was required to change out of her clothes into an orange jumpsuit. She was placed in a holding cell within the women’s lockup facility. Somehow, who she was had made the round of the cell block, and the taunting began and lasted well into the night.

“Too bad you lost your manhood, it would become very useful after your conviction.” Cynthia was feeling very vulnerable in jail. She became sick to her stomach. With different voices from different directions, she kind of became disoriented and a little dizzy.

Lawyer Maggie Rush had a simple dress for Cyndi to wear the next day. Her comforting words and those of her mother and sister had a little effect after she told them about her frightening night.

The first bit of relief and hope came with Judge Oliver deciding that the written document of the Medical Examiner would not be received as evidence. The Assistant Attorney objected to that, stating the Judge was disabling his case. Judge Bradley Oliver became upset, “You better have better evidence and documentation than that. It is your responsibility to do so when prosecuting a case.”

A police officer was called to the stand to testify. His testimony to the Assistant Attorney was, “When we arrived in response to the 911 call. The defendant said, ‘He was sorry and embarrassed for what had happened. When I asked if he was sorry for the raped woman. He said yes and asked if she was alright. I said, “She was now safe, but I don’t think she feels alright. That is when the paramedics arrived and soon took him to the nearest hospital.” The officer’s testimony would be damaging if it couldn’t be refuted. Cyndi for one had become more nervous.

Maggie said, “Officer Renwick, I do not doubt Chad now Cynthia had sympathy for Kimberly Hopkins. But I want to ask you, how you and the other officers found Chad.”

Renwick wants to laugh and still has a smile on his face when he speaks. “Well, he was lying on a makeshift table and looked pathetic without even a sheet to cover himself. Though there were bandages. We were pretty sure his genitals had been removed. After they left for the hospital we found a piece of flesh decomposing.”

“Could Chad have been embarrassed and felt sorry for himself at that time?” Renwick quickly responds, “Sure he was embarrassed and feeling bad. There are four of us looking at him and trying to ask him questions. Three of us are burly men compared to him. The woman officer took a few pictures for the record before she threw over him his sheet that was now on the floor.”

Maggie asks, “So you didn’t feel sorry for him?”

“Mam, we were pretty sure he was the rapist and that the people who caught him punished him as such. While we cannot condone such actions, there is a feeling he got just desserts.”

She asks in rebuttal, “But when Chad got there to help her before others; wasn’t it possible he was innocent and his attackers just presumed he was guilty?”

“Yes, but we presumed they along with Kim identified him as her rapist.”

Maggie asked, “Officer, how many out-of-town tourists get hurt or robbed in Central Park every year?”

“Quite a few, hundreds probably.”

Maggie asks, “If I told you hospital and police reports say well over a thousand just in Manhattan. And they estimate many others are too embarrassed to report the crimes.”

Renwick says, “A number of college-age guys, anticipate muggers are going to attack women or others who are too feeble to fight back.”

Maggie says, “You have described my client, but you make no mention of giving him that consideration, did you?”

“The 911 caller identified him as a rapist.”

Maggie asks, “Do you know if his semen was found in Miss Hopkins?”

Renwick: “I heard that it wasn’t, but I hadn’t stayed on that case after that day at the abandoned house.”

Maggie: “Why do you think the prosecutor called you as a witness then?”

“I’m guessing, he likes what I remembered and reported.”

Maggie: “Does it seem odd that others are not scheduled to testify?”

Renwick: “I can’t answer that because I can’t think of why. That isn’t my job.”

Maggie: “But you’ve been an officer for over twelve years and have your share of accolades, don’t you?”

Renwick says, “Fifteen years, and I’m proud of it, but this hasn’t happened to me before.”

The trial took a break and Maggie was asked to meet with the prosecutor. He said, “We are willing to dismiss the charges with no finding.”

Maggie asks “What about the costs and injuries my client has? There is an ugly cloud hanging over Cynthia; not to mention the costs of all that has happened to her. I am fairly sure if I request the information from other officers, medics, and the hospital that we will find information suggesting Cynthia’s innocence.”

She continues, “I feel for Kim Hopkins, but I would like to be able to question her about my client’s guilt.”

The City Attorney says, “And if we decide not to ask her to take the stand, you will look bad in questioning her.”

Maggie says, “And if you fail to call her as a witness or if she is not a good witness for you. I suspect the judge will throw the case out before it comes to me. He will declare my client innocent and will want to know if the police still have this case open or not. If not, he will ask why not.”

She says, “An innocent person should never have their life destroyed like this.”

Attorney Miller said, “The public is outraged by that brutal rape. They want someone to pay. When the 911 call came in, the public soon knew we had him. It was like he had to be guilty.”

“Mr. Miller when you released the information on the 911 call; I knew you didn’t care if he was innocent or not. And I knew I wanted his case because of that.”

Kimberly confronted Maggie before the trial was to resume after lunch. “They knew he was not guilty didn’t they?”

“He’s innocent, but they never considered that. They just discarded practicing good law for a conviction. The Police will have a more difficult task in finding your rapists. Cynthia will have a cloud hanging over her for the rest of her life. We know she will find it more difficult being a woman than she can imagine.”

Maggie probes, “Are you prepared to testify for them that you recognized his voice? That he confessed to having raped you? That is the only way they have any hope of convicting Cyndi. And no matter where they’d imprison Cyndi/Chad, what would happen, will be terribly ugly?”

Cynthia comes over to Maggie when she sees her. “Oh,” she disappointedly says, when she sees it's Kim that she’s talking to.

Kim turns to him, “You didn’t do it did you?”

Cyndi assumes the worst and feels hopeless, not really having heard Kim. Cynthia says, “Does it really matter anymore; everyone’s talking except to me. I can read the signs, I’m not stupid.”

Kim tries to stop Cyndi with a hug, “You didn’t rape me did you?”

“I’ve said it before, ‘No, I didn’t.’ But no one believes me. I had thought Maggie did, but.”

Kim says, “No one is going to find you guilty. I’m sorry but I guess I just wanted it to be you. Do you remember when you said, ‘We both sought to do something good and got punished for it?’ That was when I thought your voice didn’t match my rapists. Can you ever forgive me?”

Cynthia turns to Maggie to see if it’s true what she’s hearing. Maggie steps forward to catch Cynthia before she faints. She helps Cynthia to the floor without hurting herself. Cynthia is looking up trying to ask, “Is it really over?”

Maggie says, “Hopefully real soon.” Kim helps to put Cyndi’s skirt down. Cynthia reaches to hold Kim. They both cry until security wants to assure themselves that there are no problems…

To be Continued...

Previously… “I’ve said, ‘No, I didn’t.’ But no one believes me. I had thought Maggie did.” …Kim says, “No one is going to find you guilty. I’m sorry but I guess I just wanted it to be you. Did you remember when you said, ‘We both sought to do something good and got punished for it.’ That was when I thought your voice didn’t match the rapists. Can you ever forgive me?”

Cynthia, not sure what to believe, turns to Maggie to see if it’s true what she’s hearing. Maggie steps forward to catch Cynthia before she faints. She helps Cynthia to the floor without hurting herself. Cynthia’s eyes blink open, looking up trying to ask, “Is it really over?” …Maggie says, “Hopefully real soon.” Kim helps to put Cyndi’s skirt down. Cynthia reaches to hug Kim. They both cry until security wants to assure themselves that there are no problems.

Sage and Mrs. Brock, her mom, now see Cynthia getting up from the floor and that Maggie and Kimberly are with her. They soon realize something good has transpired. Before Maggie could explain, they were called back into the courtroom.

Everyone stood up when Judge Healy came in to take the bench and hammered court to order. The Judge then asked the different parties to rise. That meant Maggie Rush and Cynthia, as well as the Prosecutor and those with him. Judge Healy said, “Speak up now anyone! Hearing no one, I hereby declare that the charges against Chad Brock are not sustained by the evidence to warrant this case to continue…”

A voice from the back of the courtroom, “Your Honor, I might be in contempt, but I feel compelled to speak up.”

Judge Healy says, “I am delaying a decision on your being held in contempt. Identify yourself and you better have a powerfully good reason for interrupting me.”

She says, “I am Kim Hopkins, the rape victim and I want to speak for the defense, your Honor.”

Judge Healy asks her, “Please come forward to speak and be sworn in.”

The Prosecutor says, “If you allow her to speak I will need to be able to ask her questions as well.” The Judge told both tables to be seated.

Having been sworn to tell the truth, she says, “I did not sign the Medical Examiners statement because I didn’t think it was very accurate; it was slanted unduly against Cynthia and for its own. I had told the Prosecutor I Chad’s voice was similar but not the same as the one rapist who spoke to me. With counseling, I’ve remembered more, and Chad’s voice is familiar to the other voice that I heard that told me, “I was safe.” I would like to have the peace of having the rapists being caught. But I no longer believe Cynthia was one of them. I’m now afraid he was a Good Samaritan who ¬¬¬¬suffered from injustice.

She said, “Your statement sounded like it would stop short of finding Chad innocent. But that does not remove all clouds of suspicion that I think is needed. I’m from a small town and I think it will be hard for Cynthia to be able to go home.”

Judge Healy says, “Prosecutor, I don’t think you’ll want to ask her any questions. She should have been your best witness.” He paused long enough for the Prosecutor to respond.

The Judge says, “I thank you, Kimberly, for speaking up. The Court like you and your friends cannot go back and undo all that has happened to you or Cynthia. I ask people to remain seated as I go out long enough to reword my decision.”

It wasn’t thirty minutes when the court rose for the judge to come back in. “I now declare that Chad, now presenting as Cynthia Brock, is exonerated of all charges against him. I declare Cynthia will be free to get on with her life.

“Mr. Prosecutor, I will send a letter to the legal board for lawyers that they should examine the credentials and behavior of the Assistant Attorney for Manhattan and to those who oversee the work of Medical Examiner. His part with this case and if it is representative of his overall work for the city. Ms. Maggie Rush, I will not commend you for your good work in this case as it is what’s expected of a Public Defender. I now declare this trial to be finished.”

No sooner could Cynthia turn to hug her Lawyer Maggie Rush and her mother and sister were there embracing the two of them. The courtroom was emptying when Cyndi looked for Kimberly as she was leaving. But Kimberly was standing in the aisle while others exited. Cynthia caught her eye and waved her to come. Cynthia was near tears again, as she hugged and thanked Kim for speaking up.

Ma Brock hugs Kim saying, “Thanks, you gave her the best chance to go on with her life with a sense of normalcy. I am not sure how to help Cynthia in becoming a woman at the age of twenty.”

Kim says, “Do you really think she might try to stay around here to make her initial adjustments?”

Hearing several discussions, Maggie says, “I suggest you allow Cynthia and me to go sign some needed paperwork and get anything of hers here. Then maybe everyone should go get something to eat together.”

Kim looks back to three of her friends; Cynthia says, “I think it might be time for all of us to be together.”

Cyndi knew that Maggie had used the past month to identify many of those responsible for Chad’s changes. Maggie had conveyed a settlement was needed but a lawsuit and trials were not desired. The other women coming to eat was seen as a desire for them to offer an olive branch.

There were nine gathered around several joining tables. Interestingly enough, Cynthia is seen taking part in the talking but also puzzled. It took her sister Sage speaking up, “Sis, what’s up you’re in the table talk, but strangely distant.”

Cyndi asks, “How many of us women are around the table?”

Sage and others know the number easily, nine. Cynthia says, “One of us isn’t quite what she appears to be. We’ve been talking about the trial, guys, and fashion. And all of you use terms and slang that are not second nature to me.” She goes on, “My thinking and feelings are beginning to change. And most of you get uneasy when I talk about how I feel, you find other things to do.”

Mom says, “Honey, you need to give yourself time. It will take time but it will happen.”

Maggie says, “I have an open apartment, it is part of my house. But I can provide whatever privacy you might desire. You could stay there a few months to decide what to do and discover the new you. I wouldn’t suggest drastic changes nor making long-term decisions quite yet, maybe for a year or so.”

Cynthia says, “I can’t afford to live here and I’m scared of going home.” Cynthia looks both to her Mom and Maggie. “We’ve already talked to each other sweetie. What’s she’s offering you is affordable and you’d have more resources here to help with your adjustment. You have the trauma of the change and the support for your new life to consider.”

Kim asks, “Do you have any restless nights, nightmares, or panic attacks?”

Cynthia says, “How is it that I think you already know?”

“You’re right, I know but it’s not because someone else told me. Even the good that comes with a bunch of other women around, can bring on a panic attack. You had one when you heard some good news and fainted at the courthouse.”

Kim says, “I had them the first times I thought of being your friend and sometimes when I'm asleep. We connected when your doctor brought you to visit me. It wasn’t like the Medical Examiner thought. If you were like me, you found the attraction odd.”

“How did you know about me though,” Cyndi asked?

Kim says, “You should have been scared as hell to be around me after that. You still cared, even though there was discomfort. Maybe you can walk away, but I think we connected when you hovered over me in the park.”

Cynthia gets out of her chair and walks around to Kim who stands to meet her. They embrace, Cynthia, say, “I'm not used to crying like I do now.”

Kim whispers, “You have someone close to call and talk to if you want.” Cynthia looks to Sage, who has become Cyndi’s confidant.

No one has finished their meal but small fudge or strawberry sundaes are being passed around. Myrt another woman asks as they eat their desserts. "Cyndi do you have a feeling growing in your body as a girl… Um.”

Cynthia says, “Yes, my endocrinologist says you or someone did a marvelous job with my surgery. But how so is not your business. You left me there. You could have said more.”

Myrt says, “Sorry but back then I was terribly angry at you for raping Kim. Now I’m thankful, I did a good job. You can tell others and stop me from becoming a surgeon.”

Cyndi feels angry that they tempt her with revenge. Part of her would like to hold them accountable and be punished. But there’s more to that which makes her sick to her stomach. “I need to live with myself. Somehow I need to move on and get past this.”

The Brocks had enough time to look at Maggie’s apartment and get back to the hotel. The apartment has a bedroom, kitchen area, bathroom with shower, and a living area. It’s partially furnished with a nice futon another cushioned chair, TV, and kitchen table and chairs.

Cyndi was sure she wanted to say yes but waited to get back to the hotel.

Maggie explained to them, “There is at least $205,000 so far if you settle without a trial. The insurance company for one has been holding out. The people involved in peaceful settlements just told them a lawsuit would be for $500,000. When all is said and down you will probably receive over $350,000. You won’t get rich, but you’ll be financially stable as you transition.”

Once back to the hotel, the Brock’s were exhausted but were too wound up to sleep. There was a message when they got back. Cynthia’s package was in, which meant her breast forms were ready. Cynthia was restless about the apartment or somewhere else to stay. She texts Maggie, “Thanks, can I move into the apartment by Sunday?” Maggie called saying, “Yes.”

Sage asked her mother to embarrass Cynthia, “Mother what gives, no one told me Cynthia has a sweet spot.” She turns to Cynthia, “Is it sensitive to even light caressing touches? …Maybe I can help you with your therapy yet tonight and in the morning.”

Cynthia replies, “You’re much too willing.” After the lights are out Sage and Cynthia talk. Sage asks, “After I have a boy with me, can you and I talk? I heard you say the idea of having a guy in you grosses you out. But you know it’s just a matter of time, with female hormones it is a matter of you wanting to be intimate with someone.”

Come morning Mom and Sage wanted to go sightseeing, but Cynthia was still too tired and stayed at the hotel. It was eleven when Cynthia received a call to go down to the lobby. A policewoman had come to give Cyndi her new identification. She said, “We used Maggie Rush’s address, will that be okay with you?”

I told her, “Sargent Cortney that will be correct at least for the summer. I’ll be living in an apartment there.”

She told Cyndi, “I was asked by Kimberly Hopkins to give you her contact information if that is acceptable to you.”

When Cyndi said, “Yes.” Sargent Cortney Dowell introduced herself, “I’m Kimberly’s Cousin. I want to thank you for being so gracious in your response to what happened to you. My family lives out on the Island near Bethpage. Later this summer if you are comfortable with going to the beach, please know we’ll be inviting you to be out there with us. The extended family is contributing an additional $250,000 to help you get on with your life. If you would decide to settle around here it is very costly.”

“You might want to be left on your own, but Kimberly is waiting for a call if you want to go shopping already.”

Cyndi asks, “Can you sit down for a moment. I wouldn’t mind going to the beach, but I don’t know any of you. I don’t have any neighbors, people I work with, or another natural way other than a happy hour to get to know people.”

“Well, our family usually gets together Fridays for a barbecue or an Italian night. I could come this week and take you and introduce you to the family. It’s not much but it would be a start. And it would give you another view of the five boroughs of the City.

Cyndi says, “That would be good as my mother and sister are leaving to go back to Indiana. I’d probably be feeling sorry for myself.”

Cortney says, “Friday it is then I can be here by 4:00 p.m.”

“I’ll be at my apartment as I’ll be moving it tomorrow. Do you know where that is?”

Cortney, “Yes, Maggie has trusted me with that information for the funds we will be getting to you. Have you received enough of the settlement that you’re free to get what you need?”

“It depends on what I do. Just for the apartment, yes, but for counseling or if I decide to transfer to Fordham, I’m not sure? It’s like I’m a different person now and I’m not certain what I’d like to do.”

Cortney left and Mom and Sage are back and we go to eat, buying deli sandwiches and drink and finding a nice place to sit in Central Park. I giggle as I'm already used to nibbling on a sandwich instead of chomping down on it and soon being done. Sage shows things they purchased for the apartment, saying they would be delivered tomorrow.

Sage asks again, “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you for a week or two?” It’s not a bad idea, but she’s young enough that our interests are different.

“I think it is time for me to spread my wings and fly solo. It was what I like about college and being on my own.”

To be continued...

Come Friday, I saw Mom and Sage off from the apartment and I’m settled in waiting for Cortney’s ride. I have an overnight bag in case I’m comfortable staying there to go swimming at the beach. It is like being in a different world. The Hamptons, Dowells and Powell’s are there. Some are connected by money or long bloodlines. I asked Cortney, “However did you get to be a police person? I would have thought your family wouldn’t be too happy about that.”

“Let’s just say, we’re all free thinkers and have the freedom to do what we like. Mine is hands-on law work. I’ve become a pretty good detective. The precincts I work in don’t mind getting some perks from my family connections it impacts on where I’m, working.”

Moving around and introducing myself, I meet a couple Bridgette and Cathy Riley-Strong and their daughter Ashley. Ashley has graduated from high school and is also going to start Fordham in the fall. Her mother Bridgette has a consultant business somehow helping people make needed adjustments to their workplace and/or home.

I asked if she could help a person like me? She says, “I’d rather hire you part-time to work with me. It would give you room to grow and define yourself. I'm suspect you would have some beneficial insight to help some men I work with.”

Ashley’s several years younger than me and we are comfortable talking to one another. She says, “Cynthia please be patient with what you’re going through. It is quite an adjustment. I followed your case in the newspaper. I read it online, plus more than is in the newspapers.”

I get a glass of wine and we sit down and talk. She compliments me for not wearing too much makeup. She says it is a problem many have in transitioning from male to female.

Cortney finds us talking and it is the three of us for a while. Then Cortney suggests she shows me where I’d be staying tonight. She calls it a cozy room, though it is spacious for me. She even shows me a closetful of dresses she says I can use if I find the right size.

I feel a little underdressed for tonight, so she goes through several dresses she thinks will fit. The white dress she chooses is beautiful with colorful embroidery work over the front. I close the door to the walk-in closet behind me and quickly change. I like the dress but Cortney agrees with me that my pantyhose doesn’t go with it.

Cortney finds white stockings along with a pair of strappy heels. We do not have time to transform my look completely as they’re calling us to dinner.

When we approach the dining room I am singled out by Henry and Margaret Dowell to eat with them at the main table.

Sitting across from me is Kimberly and by all appearances her parents. She asks, “You’re going to join us at the salon tomorrow? We’re going to Lincoln Center tomorrow night.”

I surprise them saying, “No if I stay tonight I was hoping to go swimming tomorrow.”

Mrs. Dowell turns to me saying, “We were hoping you’d like to sleep in, and then be pampered before going to a performance at the Lincoln Center. I’m sure you haven’t experienced anything like that.”

I believe they mean well but I’m afraid of having a panic attack. “Sorry, but Cortney said we might go swimming. I’m already feeling a little overwhelmed. I don’t quite fit in.”

I’m nervous and push myself away from the table and walk away. I’m not sure where I’m going, but find a door to the outside. Bridgette is soon there and asks, “Are you comfortable enough to walk?” And we do, I am not sure how long we walked but the sunlight is changing.

We’re returning to the big house and Bridgette says, “You know you are more than welcome to stay the night. I am sure there are some who would change their schedule to accommodate you. Or we could get you back to your apartment yet tonight.”

Cyndi says, “I don’t want to look ungrateful; I’m sure they see it as a great gesture. But I was taken captive and cut up. Now this feels like they’re trying to fit me in their mold. I guess I personally need to go back and get on with my life. Does that make sense to more than me?”

Bridgette smiles softly, “It makes good sense to me. I think it will be a good reality check for them as well. If they don’t understand that needs to be their problem.”

It takes a while to collect my things and change out of the pretty dress. Both Cortney’s folks and the most of the Hamptons tried to change my mind. They even say I could go swimming in the morning.

I didn’t mean to giggle, but their efforts came across humorous to me. Mr. Dowell said, “You’re now being rude, not appreciating what we want to do for you.”

“That is not what I’m intending. I was hoping for a simple weekend. I became anxious with changes I didn’t expect. If that is a problem, then let it be seen as such.” Mrs. Hampton seems to be especially close to Bridgette. She picks up my suitcase and helps me to make my way to Bridgette’s vehicle. Despite others trying to get me to stay, we’re soon leaving.

Julio is driving their vehicle, but he seems more a friend than a chauffeur. I am still taken with how long it takes getting from one place to another. It is not like we’re out in the country where I’m from in Indiana.

I continue getting more anxious as we’re driving back. Bridgette says, “I’m getting a little nervous about dropping you off at your apartment; not knowing if you’ll be alright. We have a good size living area. It is nothing fancy, but we have a nice guest room. I would be more comfortable with you at our place and not alone.”

Cyndi responds, “Ashley says you have two young daughters waiting for you. Won’t it be inconvenient to tend to them and put up with an anxious stranger?”

Cathy speaks up, “I don’t think we’ll need to take care of you as much as to help provide a safe place for you to relax.”

Bridgette says, “If needed we’ll be there for you? So are you willing to stay with us tonight?”

Cynthia says, “Your kindness would be greatly appreciated. I don’t know why I’m so weak and can’t get through this on my own?”

Ashley says, “Are you for real, thinking you should be working through this on your own?”

Cynthia says, “Well the physical injury, um stuff is all healed. The other stuff is all in my head and it’s not like I’m brain injured.”

Ashley says, “Becoming a woman as well as a person going through such events as yours is not just dealing with the injury but learning to be the new you. There’s a lot of emotions and changes to deal with. I’ll confess to you. it took me over a year before my panic episodes got to a place I could manage them.”

Cynthia asked, “Ashely would you mind coming with me as I get ready for bed?” I now realize that having my sister Sage helping me before meant more than I realized. Ashley and I are visiting as I get my makeup off and I’m cleansing my face.

Ashley’s noticing something. “Cynthia, it seems that your body has changed since I first saw you on the news.”

Cyndi admits, “Yes, it’s becoming more of a woman’s body. They’re saying it is changing because my testosterone has declined so much. Plus I’m having hormone therapy and the hormones my body is making more has an impact on my body.”

“There is part of me that enjoys developing a feminine body with the curves of my growing hips and buns. I want to see how much my breasts grew on their own before I consider any implants.”

“What I don’t like, is I sometimes go out thinking as Chad and I turn around when someone tries talking to Cyndi. There’s part of me that resents not being Chad.”

I am pulled in with Ashley as she gets ready for bed, but then we both go out to the living area. The smallest girl, Tanya, is still a nursing infant and Bridgette has her on her left breast. I'm used to a nursing Mom to cover her and her baby. Things here are more open and people are comfortable being themselves.

There is another older woman Melanie that they introduce me. She’s not a grandma though she’s more than old enough. She’s holding Claire on her knees with two hands cupping her head and back. She’s whispering to Claire when I hear my name mentioned. “Claire has noticed you. I think she’d like you to hold her.”

Cathy says, “Be careful she still likes the idea of nursing.”

I say, “She looks like she’s two that is much too old to be nursing.”

Cathy asks, “Let her stand on the floor and we’ll see?” Cathy begins to lift her blouse and Claire walks to her breasts. Cathy winces as Claire begins to suckle. “No Claire, don’t bite down that hurts.” Claire nurses for two minutes when Cathy breaks the suction; Claire moves to the other breast. Cathy looks at me, “Hopefully she’ll lose her interest soon or I will need to stop her from nursing. I think in another year, I would like to become pregnant again.”

Bridgette calls my name, “Cynthia, something you might want to think of down the road is if you’d like to have a fertile egg planted in you so you too could carry and give birth to a baby.”

Part of me quickly thinks it is an absurd idea, but for some reason, I do not jump to say so. Instead, it is a few moments before I say. “Do you think that would actually be possible?”

“Before I ever had my monthly visitor, I thought that was the way I’d need to have a baby,” says Ashley. Ashely reveals she was what she called a ‘street rat’ before Bridgette became her foster and then adoptive mom. She was a boy and on the streets of New York City until she was fourteen.

Come morning, I ask about getting home to my apartment and Bridgette suggests I first call Maggie. I get Maggie’s message box to leave a message and it is fifteen minutes before she calls me back.

“I got a message that you had slept over at Bridgette Riley’s. But I also heard from the Dowells that you troubled them last night.” Maggie says, “I was worried that you were trouble over whatever happened or didn’t happen there. I hope we’ll take time to talk when I get home later. I’m out visiting with a friend right now.”

Ashley asks me, “Would you be open to going to Times Square and do some people watching?”

I reply, “It’s not like I’m a native New Yorker watching the visitors. I was one of them and got myself in trouble.”

Ashley says, “Yes, but you were a guy then. I kind of think it is funny watching boys vying for the attention of the girls and women they think are attractive, after having been one of them.” She’s right, I’ve already seen that. But while I was on trial I had not taken the time to enjoy it.

“I’m open to it. It would be nice to have someone show me around. I need to make new friends; it would be nice to be with you.” We catch the subway and get off at Times Square. As we walk around, I can tell some people kind of recognize me. But I don’t think, most know from where or how. Soon two college-age boys are trying to hit on Ashley and me. We soon get them to move on.

We’re near the Abercrombie store and see a thin boy looking at a female mannequin. Ashley asks, “For someone special?” When the guy is indirect and says, “Kind of.” Ashley responds, “Do you know the size you’d like to try?” He begins to turn to us and then turns back. “We’re not laughing, we could be of help.”

Finally, he makes a half turn, “I wouldn’t dare.”

I ask, “Why not?” Ashley asks, “Are you just waiting or with others?”

Bert introduces himself, “My Mom and sister are already there. We’re from a small town in Pennsylvania.”

Ashley asks, “Do you have other brothers and sisters?”

Bert says, “Two brothers, but they weren’t asked to come. Mom knows they don’t like shopping.”

Ashley says, “But your mom and sister do. I bet they encouraged you to come with them.”

Bert said, “How did you know?”

Ashley says, “I didn’t for sure, but I suspect they knew you would like too. Would you mind if we went in with you to look for them.” He pulls out his phone and shows us a picture of his sister and then one of his mother. We finally find his mother standing outside of a changing room.

When she sees Bert, she says, “I was worried about you being alone, but it took a while for your sister to get in to try two outfits. Were you still looking at that same outfit?”

I ask, “Was it a red print dress?”

She says, “No that one was further away, his sister liked that one too.” Ashley introduces both of us as new friends of Bert’s. His Mom says, “He has good taste in women’s fashions, don’t you agree?”

Ash says, “This would be one of the safer places for him to try one if he’d like to.”

Mrs. Rawlings looks at her son, “You know Bert, both your sister and I both know…” She pauses, “If you wanted to try one, you could look for a size eight or ten.”

I tell him, “I saw the rack they’re on; there’s both a red print and a yellow print dress.”

Bert starts to gasp for breath. Then Ashley says, “Relax, your mom is encouraging you that it’s okay.” Bert stares at his Mom as he tries to relax. The changing room door opens and his sister steps out. She’s showing her mom her outfit and notices her brother.

Her Mom says, “That looks very nice on you Regina. Do you want to guess who’d like to try that red print dress you liked?” Regina smiles but upon seeing us, she decides not to say anything.

I say, “That’s okay, Ashley was the one who got him to admit it.” Regina is looking at me, I’m not sure but she suspects something.

Regina says, “Did your friend Ashely help you to come out too?” I ask how? “She says, “You still need to have your Adam’s apple shaved.”

Ashley tells me, “That’s hardly noticeable.”

Gina says, “You’re right I was guessing. And I’m sorry, Cyndi was it?” My eyes are watering and Gina says, “I think my brother could pass as you do. I’m sorry but I was worried you had other motives.”

Ashley says, “Let’s move on we don’t need this.”

Gina hurries to get my arm, “I said, I’m sorry please don’t go. You have to admit being in New York, people are like that.”

Ashley critically says, “I’m a city girl, I’m not!”

Mrs. Rawlings says, “Could you show us where the rack with those dresses is?” We show them the dresses and Bert agrees that the yellow print would be nicer for him. He takes the dress as he now needs to wait for a changing room. His sister Gina says, “I can change and be out in a minute.”

Bert’s mom holds the dress until he finally gets to use the changing room. She hands him something and whispers as he goes in, “I brought these in case.”

Ashley encouraged his sister to go in with her makeup before he came out. Ashley prods me to try on the red dress, “I think you’d look better in the red dress.”

Mrs. Rawlings says, “You know you look like someone who was in the news. She too had the name, Cyndi.” Again I’m embarrassed. Mrs. Rawlings says, “You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. I for one am glad; you look like you’re comfortable with yourself.”

We waited around to see how Bert looked in the dress. We all find out it, ‘Sophie’ is Bert’s girl name. The five of us have a late lunch as Sophie dares to wear a pair of sandals and go to lunch in femme.”

I was happy for him, but emotionally tired for myself when we get back to Ashley’s home. I’m invited to stay, but feel a need to get back to my apartment. I’m invited to take the needed time but to call Bridgette if I’d be interested in working for her.

The evening is spent downstairs talking with Maggie…

To be continued…

Ashley and I left the Rawlings with Bert glad to be out as Sophie. I was ready to go back to Ashley’s place and then back to my apartment. Ashley says we needed more shopping therapy which we were both happy to do.

We now have more packages than I want to carry on a subway train. I’m surprised as we come out of the store there’s a taxi driver calling Ashley’s name and Ashley calls him Jerry. He opens the passenger door in front; inviting us to put some packages there. Ashley introduces me to Jerry; it’s like he’s a friend.

He took us to her house; he neither asked nor did she tell him where to go. Once we’re to the house, Ashley quickly says hello to Erica sitting on the step next door. She did not seem happy but she did say hello.

We got the packages from Jerry and Ashley paid him saying, “Keep the tip.” I was surprised that the cabby didn’t count it but assumed it was correct. Ashley told me she already knew the amount.

Once in the house, Ashley asked about Erica and her mom said, “Enrique mouthed off to his mother and won herself another two months in her apartment.”

Ashley says, “He didn’t get crazy and swing at her or you again.”

Bridgette said, “He won’t go back to that. I’m not sure if he just needed to test things or if he’s scared. Erica and I will visit after dinner.” She changes the subject, “So Cynthia will you be ready to go back to your apartment in a little bit.” She wanted to at least get there before rush hour traffic started.

Tanya and Ashley both rode with Bridgette as she drove me to Maggie’s. They all came up to see my apartment. I hosted them with bottled ice tea and we had a short visit. Tanya needed to nurse and I’m now getting used to Bridgette being open about it. It is now more beautiful than surprising that a woman would do that with me being present.

Once they leave, I sort through packages that Maggie put into my apartment. Two are new furniture I got. Another is a package from home that my family sent. That package is from Andrea’s Threads, a long blouse and a pair of leggings. There’s a note, “Sage suggests you do not wear these leggings without a long top or short skirt.”

A powder blue lace top and a new pair of leggings are in the package. I change into a fresh pair of panties and lavender bra that matches a major color in the leggings. With tags still in place, I try the leggings and blouse. I surprise myself liking the bra showing through the lace blouse. While it is not smacked in your face obvious, it is more daring than this recent girl has been comfortable with.

I’m sitting down enjoying the last of my tea when there is a knock from Maggie’s apartment. Maggie is no more than twelve years older than me and she has company, that she is having come over. She asks, “Do you like where they set up your bed?”

I hadn’t really noticed, so I get up. This time I not only notice the bed but the quilted bedspread. I said, “Yes, I like the bed but where did the beautiful bedspread come from. I love that rose pattern.”

Maggie says, “It’s a gift from Mason and me. He’s coming over tonight; I hope you’ll come down and meet him. And if you’re going out maybe you can come with us.”

“Where would I be going out to, it’s not like I’m comfortable in going out alone yet. Yes, I will be down but I won’t stay long that would be awkward.”

Maggie says, “That will be nice. Would you mind if his younger brother came, maybe we could out for a short while?”

Cyndi says, “I don’t want you to be setting me up with dates and try to be a matchmaker?”

Maggie giggles at me, “I’m not doing that, don’t be silly. If anyone knows you need time to adjust to being you, it would be me. Darius is quite a bit younger than Mason.” Maggie explains Mason’s a medic with the Red Cross. Darius is going to the Pratt Institute to be an architect. Mason and Darius have both been in the service and served overseas one or more tours of duty. Since then, one likes saving lives and the other building things.

Maggie went back to her apartment to get ready, hoping Cynthia would come down when the guys got there. She mutters to herself out loud, “What would it be like in Cyndi’s place; having been a guy and now looking as hot as she does? Have her juices as a woman kicked it?”

Cynthia’s in her apartment wondering much the same, except she’s begun to get feelings of attraction both for men and women. She’s not sure about going downstairs or out for the night until she browses through her closet thinking what she might wear. Both what she bought with Ashley and the items she received from Sage get consideration. There were a skirt and blouse combination she received from her Mom that use to belong to her older sister. She had worn them before and it had turned her on. Now with her breast forms and the beginning of her girl’s body. She decided she had to see and tries them on.”

The outfit looked great to her, but that’s not proof. She showers, shampoos and conditions her hair. She put on a new yellow panty/bra set and starts to dress. She likes the outfit especially with the blouse having another button or two open. She wasn’t sure if she was doing it for herself or this brother. She did become sure that she likes the look. If she’s to be a woman; she wants to be a woman, not a little girl.

She doesn’t want to eat if they were to eat out, but neither does she want to drink much if she didn’t eat. There’s Greek yogurt and she throws in some berries. It made a good tasting bowl of food and satisfies her cravings.

She could hear when the guys drove up and then came into the house. She hadn’t looked to see if two of them came, but she soon heard two distinct male voices. She felt good that there was another guy, but nervous that she’d soon be meeting him.

She buzzed Maggie’s number and asked, “Is it still ok if I come down and visit with the three of you?” Maggie told her to come down the steps joining their apartments. Maggie didn’t know if Cynthia knew how teasing her look was when she met Darius. Her head was tilted down and she peeks up from the corner of her eyes. Maggie could hear Darius sigh as he saw her eyes.

He sticks out his hand, “I’m Darius, the young and good-looking brother.”

Cynthia responds, “Is that a jealous younger brother, or do you really think that well of yourself?” Cyndi’s shaking her head, but it is Chad who can’t believe he gave it back to Darius.

Maggie asks, “Do either of you want to cool off with a drink or just a glass of ice?”

Cyndi apologizes, “I’m sorry, it just came out.” She says, “If we’re staying here I’ll take a drink, but I don’t want to drink too much without eating something.”

Mason introduces himself, and says, “I wouldn’t mind a beer to relax a moment with Maggie.” He sits in a recliner and Maggie straddles the arm of the chair as she greets him with a beer and a kiss. Cyndi goes to Maggie’s kitchen, where she sees Maggie’s glass of wine, the bottle, and more glasses. He pours herself a glass of wine and calls out “Darius do you want a beer or a glass of wine?”

He says, “Surprise me.” Beer is expected, she thinks, ‘As he asked to be surprised.’ So she pours another glass of wine. Juggling three glasses is not a big deal, but it feels awkward to Cynthia. She comes reaching to Maggie with her glass. Then when she turns to Darius his face looks surprised that she has two glasses of wine. “Well if you wanted a beer you should have said so. You asked to be surprised!”

He says, “That’s fine, I just wanted to give you a hard time. You deserve it.” He takes the glass of wine. “To Maggie and my brother, my best wishes to their happiness.” Cyndi looks on in surprise and then to see Maggie’s left hand. Mason’s hand is over Maggie’s hands.

Cyndi says, “Are you two engaged; show me your ring hand.” Maggie is raising her hand and saying, “Yes, we’re engaged. I didn’t dare think it would happen now.”

Maggie’s 5’ 8” and trim, Mason rises from the chair and sweeps Maggie into his arms and they embrace in a kiss as he twirls her around. “She’s made me the happiest person.” It is surprising to Cyndi to see Maggie wrap herself around Mason. With her arms wrapping around his neck and shoulders the kiss becomes all-encompassing. One of Mason’s hands is under her blouse and it becomes obvious that her bra is undone.

Cyndi looks on as Mason takes her into her bedroom. Darius pauses and then asks, “Would it be possible for us to go up into your apartment?” Cyndi’s surprised and caught by surprise. It makes sense that Maggie and Mason be alone, but she feels awkward inviting a guy she just met to her apartment. But she does, as they use the stairs to her apartment.

Cyndi’s unsettled, “I haven’t seen this side of Maggie.”

“Well Mas, Mason, is thrilled with her. Away from her job she likes to unwind. They’re great together and she’s great for him. He wasn’t thrilled when little brother followed him into the service. We both had experiences, Mas had two deployments. I had one and we both got up close to the ugly side.”

“Was he a medic then?’” Cyndi asks.

Darius and Cynthia can both hear the two lovers. Cyndi says, “Do you know someplace we can go to leave them alone? I really don’t want to hear all this.”

“Do we want to take goober, or maybe I can take Mason’s vehicle? You know if you put on a movie or some loud music…”

Cyndi says, “I need to buy a car, I’m not used to being helpless.”

Darius text and says a goober driver will be here soon. I get a scarf to take with me and redo my makeup to be ready. He says the ride is here. He asks me, “Do you know any places?”

“Not for us.”

“Mysterious woman that has my attention. There’s Grady’s near here, it has enough food to temper what we drink. I suggest there.”

“Is there the possibility to dance as well as eat and drink?”

Darius just smiles as he snuggles in next to me in our ride as I scooted to the center. He says, “You don’t need to scoot away, I don’t bite.” We get to Grady’s and it’s across from being a neighborhood dive to being noticeably better.

Max Grady owns the place and seemingly the attractive bartender is Mary Lou, his wife. Tiffany is our waitress; she suggests wings that Darius is interested to eat. I order a Southern Comfort Manhattan and wings without the sauce. I’m too afraid of becoming a mess. I’ll nurse my drink as I dare not have more than a second drink.

It is nine thirty before we hear more than background music. It is the third song when Darius asks to dance. I got up without my purse and he says, “That’s a no, no.” I extend the strap of my purse and make it comfortable over my shoulder and neck. I'm not used to dancing on a small floor with people bumping into me. Soon I’m dancing close to Darius and we’re close enough to talk.

The second dance is slow. When I touch his left shoulder and he winces. He says he plays fastpitch softball and that he’s banged up. I ask if he plays third base and he’s surprised because he does. “How did you know that or was it a lucky guess?”

“It’s said to be the hot corner, you can take hard hit balls off your chest or have runners barreling down on you with a throw coming.”

Darius asks, “Very good, what third basemen do you like?”

Surprisingly I giggle, I had been a sports lover and played some but that all changed in my senior year in high school. “I don’t know anymore. Who do you like?”

Darius says, “Chase Headley for the Yankees is good, but not great. Kris Bryant for the Cubs is probably the best know third baseman presently in baseball.”

“Oh yes, I know of him, I didn’t remember what position he played.” I change the subject asking, “Who do you think is the best female singer now?”

He says, “I like Kelly Greer, she plays in different clubs around here. The big names are good, but I’d rather hear someone live that I can afford and get up close with. If you want I could take you to the Briar Patch where she’s singing Saturday.”

Cyndi says, “I’d like that if you don’t mind. Will other friends be there?” Close to 11:00 Darius says, I better get you back and see if I have a ride home or keep my goober ride.”

We’re going up to the house and Cyndi feels the need to let Darius she appreciated the night. She kisses him on the cheek, “I want to thank you for tonight and I look forward to Saturday.” Darius smiles and said, “It was a good night and I’m glad we met.”

I go around to my entrance, Darius accompanies me. Before going back and waiting for someone to answer Maggie’s door.

It was shortly after they leave that Maggie knocks and asks, “Are you still up, I need to visit?”

She’s showing me her engagement ring and talking like it’s her dream come true and she’s sure that I’d understand. She apologizes about them going to bed and changing the night on us. After she talked a bit about Mason and why she likes him; she asked about my time with Darius. I talked about where we went and that Saturday we were going to hear Kelley someone at the Briar Patch. She tries to make it out to be more than a date.

Cyndi's not used to talking so long but is getting used to it. Maggie’s happy and remarks that I’m making a good adjustment. I begin to remark, “I don’t have much…” I stop and say, “Thanks, I’m to see my doctor and I think I’ll agree to the hormone therapy to be stronger and help my transition. I wasn’t sure I wanted this to happen.”

Cyndi’s up early and sure she hears Maggie is up. She grabs her cup of coffee and a bagel with cream cheese and heads downstairs. Maggie’s racing to get ready for work but sits down and relaxes with me. I looked for her cup and pour more hot water in with a fresh teabag. I ask to see the ring again and this time it sparkles. “It’s a beautiful ring, he must really love you.”

“We’ve been dating well over a year and while I was hoping he felt for me the same way. I didn’t expect him to ask me to marry him yet. We’re going to the jeweler after work to see if it can be resized.” I learn that Maggie grew up in Staten Island and wasn’t from money. She and Mason would be going to her folks Saturday.

I arrange to see Bridgette Riley Monday to talk about training to work with her. Friday late afternoon I visit where I was the afternoon before the incident with Kimberly. Sitting at the bar Bryant recognizes me. “I was wondering if and when you’d come back. You look different enough and to some, you are a different animal. Some would have preferred you with your rod still there.”

Bryant says, “One officer did come around showing different pictures of you. I know, I didn’t acknowledge you being here and I don’t think others did either. We don’t easily give up our own Sweetie. When reports were mixed, I was pretty sure you weren’t one of the two in on raping her, I recognize a naïve college guy wherever.”

The bar was just getting busy and as Bryant said others weren’t recognizing me. That was until Joan asks, “So do you still see yourself among the guys?” I ordered potato skins to be delivered to a table as I go and sat down with Joan and Trevor coming to sit with me. Trevor and Joan both place different orders and our table grows by two more tables and a bunch of people. Several of us ordered salads, others sandwiches, finally I decide to call it a night early. I’m thinking it may not be my scene anymore.

Cyndi’s not sure to what extent she’s one of them though she danced with another woman. She liked that the woman took notice of how she looked and commented. Cyndi too found the woman attractive maybe more than she expected. Dana found a spot in Cyndi’s memory.

Come Saturday morning Cyndi went to a family indoor/outdoor restaurant to meet Ashley with Bridgette and family. Mama Giuseppe comes over to greet me saying any friend of Cathy and Bridge were warmly welcomed. Mama talks me into a plate of fresh fruit, cheese imported from Italy and some of her loaves of bread. She proudly says, “We a bake our own bread, you will like it.”

It was a nice change and breakfast for me is no longer eggs, bacon and hash browns. I hear that Ashley was a street kid, but it’s what they’re not saying. I have a feeling they need to know me longer and decide to trust me, before and if I learn more. Today it’s just about being friends with them. Erica is eating breakfast with us and it is Erica who outs herself as a bad tempered guy.

Bridgette halts talk about her situation at the restaurant. I think Enrique makes a good girl, but that doesn’t change things. Erica talks about some lipstick colors that would look good on me. She asks about going shopping with Ashley and me. Bridgette says, she’ll decide when they’re back home.

Marie Giuseppe, Mama’s Granddaughter is wanting to go with us and Ashley’s the one who says yes to that. Marie walks back to the house with us. I push Tanya in the stroller and they allow Claire the two-year-old to walk a little. She makes it half a block before we’re taking turns carrying her. I’m sure Cathy or Bridgette could carry her the distance. Marie and Ashley did well. Ashley took a picture of me pushing Tanya in the stroller. She posts the picture of FB and gives me the title of Aunt Cyndi.

Once we’re back to the house Bridgette asks me to go down to Erica’s apartment with her. “Cynthia, I want you to understand that Erica’s one of my clients. She can break the agreement, but I and if you’re working with me, have a greater standard to live by. Rarely will I talk with Erica in public like she’s my client. It is usually as a neighbor or friend.”

I say, “You said usually, does that mean they’re exceptions?”

Bridgette looks to Erica to answer. Erica says, “Yes, last year I got angry with my mom and Bridgette came to intervene. We were in front of my house and I wouldn’t settle down. Bridgette came close to talk to me and I got upset and swung at her. I had only meant to push her back because she was pregnant. But I was too angry. I meant to get her off balance so I could push her and run away. She caught my arm as I lunged at her swinging my hand.”

“The next thing I knew I was on my back looking up. She kicked the air out of me and I was immobilized. One of her friends Hector took me to the apartment and I had the choice of going to jail or contracting with her for after when I turned eighteen.”

Cyndi says, “You could have hurt her when she was pregnant?”

“That was why I was going to push her hard, but she’s the one who caught me by surprise. I was supposed to be going home soon, but I blew it again. I think it is more than I feel safe from myself here.”

Cyndi asks, “Is it that you really want to be a girl, a woman?”

Its Enrique’s voice, “No, I don’t think so. It’s more that I don’t want Erica deciding how I’m going to live as Enrique.” I see Bridgette nodding in agreement behind her.

I say, “So it’s more of an internal image of your psyche that you’re fighting. I can appreciate that even if it’s stinking thinking.”

Erica speaks, “Ashley said her father was like that and I knew when my Dad drinks that’s what his AA friends said.”

I say, “So are you wanting to follow in your Dad’s footsteps? You know you don’t have too. My Dad wasn’t there for me when I had problems, is yours?”

Erica sat on the steps crying, right where I first saw her sulking probably a week ago. She sulks, “But if I could prove to him I’m a man, hopefully, he’d then love and respect me.”

“I’ve seen Hector and Julio, friends of Bridgette’s and a couple of friends I made were better suited. They’re men I can respect. I’d respect you to be Enrique’s friend if you were a man like that.” Erica gets up and walks to me and gives me a hug. We stand there hugging for minutes before she regains her composure.

Cyndi says, “If Bridgette said you could go with us. You and I would both need to get ourselves cleaned up and changed. More importantly, you’d need to be good if you come.”

Erica sits back down and looks through her purse for tissues. She waited before she went in to see Bridgette to privately ask if she could go.” I was surprised that Bridgette had left me alone with Erica. I went in and asked to use a bathroom to clean up and redo my makeup. I would have like to change my blouse, but I wasn’t going home to my apartment.

Ashley had changed and I could tell Marie was wearing one of Ashley’s blouses. Marie was thin but her figure fills out Ashley’s blouse. Even the bottom of the blouse sat nicely at her waist and upon her hips. Ashley giggles with her. “My friend says, I might not fill out that blouse unless I have children.”

Cyndi says, “I’m probably a year older than Marie. Hopefully, someday I’ll develop my own girls. But I’m content with who I am for now.”

Cathy speaks up, “Maybe you saying it will get through to Ashley.”

“Ashley’s pretty good in my book. She’s beautiful like she is. She looks like her mother. I don’t think someone can ask to be better than that.”

Erica knocks at a door to the apartment and comes in. She has changed and has permission to come shopping with us. Bridgette whispers to Cyndi, “You and Ashley are to watch after Erica, but Ashley knows not to get in a fight with her. I don’t believe she’ll be any trouble. I think your impression on a healthy image has given Enrique something new to work toward.”

“But I’m sure she heard it before from you…”

To be continued…

We go a few blocks off of Time Square eating at a place in Hell’s Kitchen. I am in the mood for buying lunch. But first, we look at various shops. Ashley and Marie know some good places; Erica is looking for music she likes as Enrique. She thinks she is fooling us as she does look for bargains and small items of makeup. We’re checking out where Marie and I have bought leggings, shorts, and various tops. Erica is surprised when we tell her to pay for her items. Ashley would have had her put them back and we’d be taking her home. Her bill is over fifty dollars that she says she doesn’t have, but she does use the $30 she does have and will owe me the rest when we get back.

I step in her face and tell her, “Your choices were good; they now belong to Erica.” Marie has her sit as she uses the blush and eye color. She acts upset, “I don’t want to be pretty like you.”

I do not know when, but sometime in the past, Erica had learned both fashion and makeup. Marie uses a touch of perfume and Erica is content to be who she is today. The rest of shopping for her is trying clothes and window shopping. Ashley is not saying what she’s shopping for but she’s looking at extra nice outfits.

We’re eating a late lunch when Paul shows up. He’s talking to Ashley about some show at the art institute. She asks him to pick her up tomorrow night at 6:30. Marie asks if Matthew is coming. Paul says, “Matt is planning to ask you, hopefully, it will be yet this afternoon or tonight.”

Marie, “The answer tomorrow will be ‘No’.” Paul sits and calls Matthew. Matt and Marie are soon talking. She hands me Paul’s phone saying, “Gregory Jackson would like to talk to you. He’s a medical student at Columbia. He’s very nice but socially awkward.”

Gregg begins, “Cynthia, I don’t mean for you to be in a difficult spot. I am going to a celebration tomorrow night and I’d be honored if you come with me.” He says, “It is a gathering of the third year med students and we’re having a dinner and social. Spouses and significant others are to be there and I’m always alone. I’m told I’m attractive but I’m tired of being alone.”

I say, “Do I need to dress up if I would come with you?” It’s highly suggested but not required. “Can you take me out tonight so we can meet? I hope to go with you, but I need to know you a little.” I give him Riley’s address. We’ll be going for a light dinner. I am twenty and I suspect Gregg is twenty-five.

My shopping goal has just changed. I head for shops just off of Fifth Avenue and the others have two stores and are heading back to Ashley’s. I call Bridgette but get Cathy. I ask for a nice store off of Fifth Avenue. Telling her the situation and that I want to look better than average tomorrow for Gregg. She says some med students have very attractive women in their life. She gives me the name of two stores and says, she’s free to do my hair tomorrow.

Cathy meets me at ‘What’a Night’, she said it is a nice up and coming women’s clothier. She knows the store manager, Jaxy. I like three dresses and end up choosing a long ivory dress with a two-inch red ribbon going up where the skirt has a slit running high up the thigh. It will be my go-to dress for special occasions.

Cathy giggles at me saying I’m setting a high bar for myself. I select a little blue dress for dinner and our time tonight. Cathy insists I get him to take me dancing tonight. She says the dress has enough sequins that it begs to go out and have fun. I know I am overdue for a fun night out.

We get back to the Riley’s and I get to shower and use the guest room to change. I am ready by 6:30. And though I told him I could come out to the ride. I now wait as I want to see what he looks like as he gets out of the car. He’s good looking but thankfully not a perfect stud.

He says, “I like how you’re dressed. I was thinking if you’re comfortable with me, we could do something extra. Gregory had seen himself as a doctor doing medical research. His moving through the various fields of study in med-school, he has found him like to work in the area of sports injuries. He is accepted in two different residencies in women’s sports medicine.

Dinner was good as the food was simple and we talked. I find him interesting. There is something I like but I’m not sure what. When we go dancing after dinner, I like his graceful hands when we’re dancing in close. Again it is easy to talk with him, but this time he’s doing more listening. He gives me a ride to my place at the end of the evening. As we finish our goodnight kiss; I find myself inviting him to stay with me.

I am very embarrassed as I’m not sure what to do now that I have him here. We are both a bit socially awkward. I thought I knew what to do as a woman, but I have not been here yet. Gregg seemingly is not fully inexperienced. Though he says it is from women putting advances on him.

I am in the shower and have my body nice and soapy and my eyes closed. I feel a breeze and hear the door open and close. It is a moment before Greg asks, “Would it be okay to come in there with you? I could wash your back if you’d like.”

I push the shower door to open so he knows he is welcome. His hands are warm, strong but not at all rough. He is behind me, yet his hands gracefully come up my sides and front. I fear he’ll be disappointed as my small breasts are just beginning to grow. But his delight is in the fact that they are responsive to his touch. He presses against me.

He works up a soapy lather that includes oils as he lubricates both of my lower orifices. He turns down the shower to a mist. He lines up the head of his cock with my bun crack. “Would you mind?”

I ask him, “Push!” He had bent down and lifted me up in place I am pressed against the shower wall. I am having trouble relaxing my muscles. He pushes hard and I can feel him entering me. I grab high to gain hold of the top of the shower. It has been a long time since I had Ryan Davis. I am wondering how Greg could have known, I’d like this. It takes a while before I groan with some pleasure. He says, “I wasn’t sure you were enjoying it?”

I ask, “How did you know I might like this?”

He says, “I was to your night spot the night before. There were a number of you college people there that night. I thought you might be sweet to have.” I can feel his cream explode inside of me.

I say, “I was had only once before. I imagined myself dressed as a woman, but not quite being one.”

Greg says, “We can enjoy that as well, but let’s take our time.” He lowers me so my feet reach the floor as he pulls away. I lather him up and clean him as quickly as I can. And then myself, delightfully he helps.

It is close to one a.m. and we are helping to make sure the other is clean. We dry ourselves off and make our way to bed. I put on a little satin lace, while he doesn’t have a stitch on. We had talked as well as shown each other attention before I roll onto my back and leave myself open for the taking. I place a gel on me that will become arousing as he pushes himself into me. And it is having the desired effect for both of us.

My legs are nicely wrapped around his body. I am learning to move with him to me. Making sure he stays in me is new. He likes pulling completely out and popping me again and again. There is some joy to it but it is more punishing to me than him. Once he speeds up and gushes in me as he keeps pumping until he freezes. He’s pushed against me and is kind of shivering. I realize he is holding onto his ecstasy as long as possible.

I begin to move more and keep his arousal going. He says ‘no’ until he is in a new level of enjoyment. He equated ejaculation with a male orgasm. He is now experiencing the joy of a full blown orgasm. I too have come into an ecstasy that I have not experienced before. I continue but I am not sure why. It is possibly minutes before another wave of joy crashes over me. It is like I am flowing in a sea of color with feelings like fireworks going off within my experience. I do not know how long it lasted, if and when he’s part of my experience.

It is morning when we awake. Maggie not knowing someone was with me, calls up if I want coffee and a roll. She breaks out laughing when I say, “I’m enjoying dessert with Gregg; he’s a med student.”

It is nice to see Gregg in the morning light and to experience the first morning after. It is 9:30 when Cathy calls asking when I want my hair done. It was to be around nine. She whispers asking if Gregg is still there. She is happy for me, asking, “Does the Doctor know what to do when he’s in the bed with his person?”

“More than I care to recount here.” I say, “And I will not want to share the evening with Ashley.”

I hang up and give my attention to Gregg. He is wanting to make sure I can afford a nice dress for this evening. I show him a picture Cathy had taken of me in my dress and he is very impressed.

He says, “Peggy will be so happy for me.”

“Who is Peggy and why would she be happy to see me?” Peggy is the wife of his friend Travis Davies. They’ve been through Med School together.

“Peggy appreciates me because I’m a friend to Travis and care about her as well. She always feels sorry for me. And is always watching out for me? I feel sorry for her because I think Travis doesn’t give her enough attention. She’s a beautiful young woman, but she comes from his hometown. He thinks she embarrasses him, but it has usually been the other way around.”

I get to Cathy and Bridgette’s by 10:30 and I’m in Cathy’s beautician's chair within fifteen minutes. Bridgette brings me an email she received from a Beth Powell who was at the gathering in the Hamptons. Beth apologizes for what happened there. Confessing they were insensitive to all I’ve been through. She didn’t like how far others had gone but did not absolve herself.

Bridgette says the Powell’s are a simple group out of the Quaker background though not all are still Quaker. “We regret that you were pushed to submit to the group’s thoughts, however caring their intention. I would like to meet you for lunch and see if we can become friends.”

Beth’s, Mother-in-law Mrs. Elizabeth Powell is willing to host us sometime if we’d like to try another outing scheduled for just their family, the beach and ocean. Beth attached a picture of a big cruiser we could take out into the Atlantic.

I am concentrating on getting my hair done. My dress with alterations arrives while I’m under the dryer. Bridgette and Cathy visit with me as they’re amused that I had Gregg stay the night. “We did not know that you saw yourself as you did? Was Cynthia always your girl name?”

I said, “Claire, but then I began using the names of girls I liked especially friends of my sisters. Sharon was a nice name and that of my older sister’s friend at school. I wanted to see myself like what I wanted to be.”

Bridgette says, “I don’t want to suggest you change your name like it is not important. I think you need to understand to be Cyndi, Cynthia Brock is going to hold different connotations for you and others.”

“I speak to you with the experience of some who think they know me because they’ve seen or heard parts about me. If you were down in Southern Florida near my Mom, you might look at me through the lens of knowing my mother. Both my genes and much of how I see life comes through her and our family. I had three brothers all older than me. But two have become sisters: Billy was a stubborn and mean brother from the beginning. He defied all attempts. It was when he became Billi and had to live as a girl at sixteen for a year that she changed.

“My brother James has remained himself but he found it wise from living here to move to the Midwest. Harry followed in my father steps, but he followed Mom when she moved to the south away from my dad. Harry fathered my first niece while he was in high school. He married young to another woman and had fathered two more children, finally getting his son Jonathan. It was after Reba kicked him out. He was drowning in booze, anger and other troubles. That he submitted himself to our Mom and he then consented to surgery.

“Living near her and her ways, people might assume I’m just like her. That is one reason why when she moved to Florida that I came back here for university and stayed to live. She has been quite successful in her way, but it’s not mine. A majority of her male clients wrestling with anger, conflict and intimacy issues transition. I think some thirty percent who don’t change, proceed out of fear that they may need to finally deal with resolution in their lives.

With me, it is only about 15% who choose to fully transition. I find for a good number; it is not even about sexuality or hormones. Getting in touch with one’s feminine side helps the vast number to relax and see their lives in new ways. I find three-fourths of those who choose to transition was already transgender or transsexual before.=^_^=

You Cyndi are you and whether you change your name or even would continue to see yourself now as a woman. It needs to be your conscious decision. As you see physically you can be an attractive woman, but you could be a neat man as well.”

I am yet in Cathy’s beautician chair and she’s combing and brushing out my curls. ‘I like who I am seeing in the mirror, yet I’m wondering if I’ve really chosen to be me. Had it not been forced onto me to accept this new life?’

I look away from the mirror and to Bridgette. “Isn’t it okay to like who I am? I was excited about tonight with Gregg. Should I call him up and cancel doing things until I figure all this out?”

Cathy says, and as she talks Bridgette affirms. “This is probably one of the healthier things you’re doing because you’re choosing it. This like last night’s experience should become dear treasures of your heart and memory. Your helping Kim should be as well. But it is also good to decide if you’re Chad or Cynthia and become more comfortable with yourself…”

To be continued…