Author's note: The poems presented below are the copyrighted works of Ronald Heyward Bailey, Junior, known here on Big Closet under the pseudonym of Haylee V. If you have found them on any sites other than poetry.com (now lulu.com) or here, then you are reading pirated copies.
For Marcus
(c) 2001
Too many nights of eating cold Taco Bell burritos
And getting drunk off of cheap wine and tequila & coke
I never thought those halcyon days would end-
The laughs we shared amid the midnight swims
Naked at the dam,
Or cruising the strip in your old, beat-up Buick.
But alas! time passes us all.
And for you, Death came way too soon...
==========
For Paw Paw
(c) 1984
"Hey Paw-Paw! Let's go fishin'!"
Oh! to utter those sweet words just one more time!
Then we'd grab those old poles-
Pine saplings skinned by the creek,
With bent safety pins for hooks.
And we'd go digging for night crawlers-
Big, fat ones
that bit our fingers as we put them in that old, rusty tin can.
Not like those pasty, mealy looking ones
the feed store tried to pass off as "live bait".
Then we'd sit on the bank and talk,
Never once catching a bite.
But you're probably busy now,
Giving God pointers about fly-casting,
And swapping fish tales with St. Pete.
All while I sit here and reminisce
About the one that got away...
==========
Granny Louise
(c) 1996
I can still picture her-
Ghostly in her faded flannel nightgown,
Reaching out in the night for her can of Society-
A teaspoon in each cheek,
Her spittoon close at hand.
And I recall the warm summer nights-
Shelling field peas in the kitchen
And swapping stories by the iridescent glow
of that old gas stove.
All while eating Hydrox,
and laughing as the milk trickles
lazily down our chins.
==========
For Brenda
(c) 1989
The darkness encroaches all about
The candle flickers and is snuffed out.
The nighttime folds and fills the air
While shadows clothe me in despair.
I seek someone to take me in-
To comfort me and be my friend.
I seek the light that I have known,
Only to find I am alone.
Will no one come to rescue me?
My knight-crusader- please set me free!
I once had a dear friend.
We shared laughs and tears,
Pains and triumphs.
Now, that friendship is no more.
Forever broken,
Unable to be repaired.
At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.
But alas! Actions have consequences.
My actions, though indirectly, caused this person much pain.
I never wished tragedy upon this person --
A person who has shown me nothing but trust and friendship.
But I made my decision.
Right, but for all the wrong reasons.
And I'm paying the price --
A debt I shouldn't owe,
For something I can never repay.
If you do read this, please know
You hold a special place in my heart --
A place I let very few enter.
I'm not asking your forgiveness --
It's something I simply don't deserve.
I'm not asking for your friendship
Or any of the perks that go along with it --
Loyalty, Trust, Acceptance --
I seek nothing from you.
I just wish you happiness.
Joy. Laughter. Health.
Everything I've always wanted in life,
But now no longer deserve.
I hope you find someone worthy of you someday.
I'm just sorry I fell so short of the mark.
Warmest wishes on your upcoming birthday.
You were not forgotten.
Hopefully, you never will be.
-H
I thought of you today.
As my day began.
I thought of you sitting in your playhouse
Sipping your lemonade
Hair flowing freely
Dimpled cheeks, freckles, crooked smile and all.
Laughing freely as you played house with your dollies
All while twirling about in your silky yellow sundress and Mary Janes.
I thought of you today.
As my day began.
Of how you BEGGED me to let you wear your blue gingham.
And ruby slippers
It would be your first teen costume party -- Halloween, 1980.
You were in your mizuiro jidai
And only a few close friends really knew your "secret".
But, being a small town, where EVERYONE would talk
I forced you to don the Munchkin --
A bitter pill for you
And the beginning of our troubles.
I thought of you today.
As my day began.
How you wanted so desperately just to be "yourself".
You looked AMAZING in your turquoise taffeta gown
With the lapis necklace and the dainty silver and sapphire bracelet
Your Grandma had worn all those years ago.
You had only gotten lovelier as you blossomed--
Your Puberty Fairy sprinkled feminine charms
On your masculine frame.
Aah! but BOYS don't wear gowns to the prom
So you wore your Dad's old tux
And stoically went to the prom -- Alone.
I thought of you today.
As my day began.
And a tear came to my eye.
Your last hurrah.
You DID get to wear your gown after all--
When they buried you yesterday...