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A Blank Page

By Flummox

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“GRAAAAH!” Lloyd roared as he swung his main sword. He immediately followed up with a slash from his off-hand blade, but Abyssion was just too fast, he had already teleported to the other side of the room. Lloyd whipped around just in time to see a magic circle appear on the ground at Abyssion’s feet, and he immediately dove into a sprint. At his left, Colette was doing the same. On his right, the half-elf, Genus, was chanting his own incantation, trying to out speed their foe in a battle of magic. Raine’s eyes were wide with fear. Being a master of the healing magics, she new that the weary team of four could not possibly survive the spell Abyssion was about to cast. She couldn’t heal them if they didn’t survive. Their only chance was to attack Abyssion and break his concentration. The battle had been going on for so long. They were so close. They couldn’t lose here!

“I call upon thee in the land of the dead!” Genus chanted, reaching the final lines of his incantation

“YES, we’re gonna make it!” The thought went through all of them at once, Lloyd and Colette were a step away, and Genus’ Ultimate spell was about to be unleashed!

“Meteor Storm.” The two words slipped through Abyssion’s lips and all hope was lost. Massive Meteors began to rain from above. It did not matter that they fought in an enclosed chamber hundreds of feet below the earth, for these were conjured directly from space, and they had a single purpose. To obliterate the puny heroes who had dared to oppose Abyssion’s will.

Raine watched as Lloyd, Colette, and her little brother Genus were nearly wiped off the face of the earth. It they faced any other foe it would not be much of an issue. As a master healer, you see, not even death itself could not be cured by her magic. But magic took time, especially an incantation as long as Resurrection’s, and Abyssion was already charging towards her. His demon blade in hand.

Seconds later everything faded to black.

 

~o~O~o~
 

“Defeated”

The screen slowly faded to black.

A new screen appeared, displaying a giant tree beneath the clouds.

At the bottom of the screen there was a small caption

“No one ever heard from them again.”

Above that, there were two options to choose from.

“Load Data”, or “Quit Game”.

“Uggggh” groaned the boy as he collapsed back into his bed.

“I was sooooooo close. I almost beat him that time.” He whined as the controller slipped from his fingers, falling to the floor with a small clatter. He stared at the screen for another moment, contemplating how he could improve his strategy. His musings were broken up a moment later by a knock on his door.

“Raymond?” Came the stern voice. “You had better not be playing that game again. You have to leave for the bus in less then an hour, and so help me God if I have to drive you again…”

His father left the threat hanging in the air. With a heavy sigh, 13-year-old Raymond Danahy pushed himself up off his bed, turned off his Nintendo Wii and TV and rushed to get ready. He really shouldn’t have been playing. He still needed to get a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast. He slowly dragged himself to the washroom only to find the door shut and locked.

“What?” came his sisters voice through the door when he tried the handle.

“Nothing, I’ll go down stairs.” He replied, with another heavy sigh.

Unfortunately, when you leave things to the last moment in a house of five people with only two washrooms, things don’t always go your way. The downstairs washroom was also occupied, this one by his older brother.

“Are you gonna be much longer, Seb?” Ray called out, hoping his big brother might take pity on him.

“Sorry Squirt. Early bird gets the worm and all that. First one up gets the washroom.” His older brother called back, “maybe if you spent less time gaming, you wouldn’t always be rushed.”

“Please, Sebastian? Dad’s gonna kill me if I miss the bus again.”

Ray stood there for a moment. Waiting for an answer.

Finally, after a short delay, the door opened. His big brother stood there, only wearing a pair of shorts, looking at Ray with one eyebrow raised and a small smile on his face.

Sebastian Danahy, at 17, was a few years older then Raymond, and in grade 11, a Junior in high school. He was tall, around 6’3 with blue eyes, and had their father’s short curly golden brown hair. His lack of shirt showed off a well toned body.

If one didn’t know better they would never guess that Sebastian and Raymond were brothers, as Ray was the complete opposite. Ray was just below average height for his age, though he hoped he’d get the height that ran in the family when he got older. Raymond’s brownish hair was naturally as straight as an arrow, and went to just the small of his back. He referred to his hair as “brownish” because it wasn’t quite brown, but had bits of a very faint red throughout it, resulting in a copper color. On most days, it looked brown, but if the sun caught it in just the right way, the red could really shine through. The biggest difference between the brothers however, was that whereas Sebastian was extremely fit, and one of the star athletes of their school, Raymond was chubby and out of shape, preferring to stay indoors and play games or read. Ray had deep forest green eyes, hidden behind a pair of dirty glasses that he was constantly pushing further up his nose. His face was chubby and round with soft features, just like the rest of his body.

“C’mon then, I’ll go eat and finish after.” Sebastian said as he ruffled his little brother’s hair. As different as the brothers were, they mostly got along.

After mumbling his thanks, Ray rushed into the washroom and hopped into the shower. He shampooed and conditioned his hair, frowning at the color as usual. He didn’t really know why he wore his hair so long. He had always disliked the color. It was just another insecurity for the other boys at school to pick on. If he really thought about it, he may have said it was to give him something to hide behind, not that he’d ever admit to it. He just hated the way he looked in general, he couldn’t really blame the bullies at for being disgusted by his body, he was disgusted by it too.

After washing, he quickly brushed his teeth and meticulously ran a brush through his hair, he might not like his hair color, but he absolutely hated having any knots or tangles. He wrapped one towel around his shoulders as he hated the feeling of wet hair on his skin, a second towel around his waist, and returned to his room to get dressed.

Noting the time, he quickly dried himself and pulled on a pair of briefs and some baggy sweatpants, followed by a plain t-shirt and socks, then dragged himself to the kitchen for breakfast.

As he walked into the kitchen his brother got up two return to the bathroom to finish his own preparations.

His older sister, Evalyn Danahy, was sitting at the table, already ready to go, texting away on her phone. She took after their mother with beautiful red hair, green eyes, and like Sebastian, had their father’s height. From what Ray could see from where she sat at the table, she wore a black blouse, with a nice white shawl overtop. Evalyn, in grade 10, was 16 and a sophomore. While she had little interest in sports, she always seemed to have all of the boys from the sports teams clamoring for her attention, trying to impress her with their athletic ability. She had never brought home a boyfriend, not because she wasn’t interested in one, but rather because none of them could handle her. She could be incredibly strong willed for a teenage girl, and there had yet to be a boy who got a second date with her. Whenever someone asked or teased her about it, she would just say, “I’m not one of those girls who always needs a man in her life. When I meet someone I like, and who’s ready for me, then I’ll date.”

Glancing at the time, Ray saw that he had just enough time to grab a bite to eat and run for the bus. His siblings had other means of getting to school, so while all three of them did attend the same school, Raymond was usually the first to leave and the last to get home. His sister had her own car and license and drove herself, and while she was capable of giving Ray a ride, she claimed that doing so would embarrass her in front of her friends and had refused too all year. Sebastian on the other hand, would have been happy to give his little brother a ride, but he rarely drove himself, instead electing to carpool with friends. The group of them took turns driving and split the cost of gas. Even when it was Sebastian’s turn to drive, he only had enough room in his vehicle for the other members of the carpool. So, unless one wasn’t going to school one day, Raymond was stuck with the bus.

Scarfing down a quick bowl of cereal, Ray pulled on his hoodie and shoes, grabbed his bag and ran out the door.

 

~o~O~o~
 

The bus was just pulling up as Ray arrived panting. He had seen it coming when he was still two blocks away and had to run or face his father’s wrath. Not wanting to draw attention to himself, he stood out of the way and let all the other kids waiting go first. Finally, he stepped on, only to immediately slip on some mud and crash to the floor.

Laughter.

Blushing, the boy quickly found his feet, and pulled out his bus pass. His chest felt tight and his breathing strained from the humiliation. He hated being the center of attention. He just wanted to take his seat and get this day over with. His lip quivered as he saw that even the bus driver was looking at him like he was an idiot, but she nodded at his pass and he quickly rushed to sit down. The majority of the students always flocked to the back of the bus. That was where all of the “In” kids would always sit. Ray, being as far from “In” as one could get, didn’t even have the nerve to try and sit with them. Instead he took a seat by himself near the front, adjusted his glasses, and pulled out a book to entertain him on the drive. As there were still several stops for the bus to attend to, he had ample time to immerse himself in the fantasy world.

 

~o~O~o~
 

The advantage to sitting at the front of the bus was that upon arriving at school he was the fist off. Not wanting to spend a second longer on the bus then he had to, Ray leapt from his seat and, carefully so as to not slip again, rushed off the bus. He pocketed his book as he took up a brisk walk towards the schools front doors.

St. Matthews Junior/Senior High School was the only catholic high school in the small town of Lakewood. In fact, there were actually only two high schools in the town, with the other being Lakewood High. If a student was unhappy with those, their only other option would be to commute to one of the neighboring towns. With no school bus system connecting the towns that rarely happened.

Raymond walked directly to his locker to swap out the books he needed for his first class before immediately proceeding to homeroom. As usual, he was the first to arrive. Most of the other students would either take their time, or would stop in the hall to chat with friends. Not many people wanted to be friends with the quiet overweight nerdy kid, the few who did always seemed to just be using him to get in either Evalyn or Sebastian’s good books. Knowing he had a few minutes until rollcall, Ray pulled his book from his pocket, and after brushing his hair out of his face and adjusting his glasses once again, began to read. He hadn’t made it through a paragraph when the book was pulled from his hands.

“Crossroads of Twilight?” Sneered the voice of Derek Pilsing as the teenager read the title of the book, “that sounds fucking gay. Why are you reading this shit? It’s not like it was assigned to us or anything. Are you reading it because YOU’RE gay?”

Derek Pilsing was 14 years old, of average height, with a muscular build, and black hair. He was also one of the bullies in Raymond's grade 8 class.

“Hey! Give it back!” Raymond leapt to his feet. He had let his guard down. He hadn’t thought anyone would bother him in the classroom, of course he had also been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed the homeroom teacher step out. He tried to grab the book back, but Derek simply pulled it further away and started to back away from Ray.

“Why don’t you come get it chubs? Maybe if you answer my questions I’ll be kind and return it.” The boy taunted.

At this point other students had started slowly entering the room. Some snickered at Dereks antics, others gave Raymond pitying looks, many just went about their business as usual. Not paying the conflict any attention.

“Not everyone reads just because it’s been assigned as homework Derek! Some of us actually enjoy it!” Ray said, exasperated and humiliated by the situation, “there, I answered your question, now please give it back!”

“Oooooh the fat boy said please! How polite. Now I would love to give your book back, but you only answered ONE of my questions. So, I clearly couldn’t do that.”

Ray could do nothing but look at the bully in confusion, not sure what other question he was referring to.

Derek gave a sarcastic sigh, “fat and stupid? Pathetic. I asked if you were gay. Since you are reading a gay book. Well? Are you?”

At this point all Ray could do was desperately try to hold back tears. Crying would just make this worse. Crying would just bring more laughter. More humiliation. Speaking was impossible. The whole class was staring at him. His breathing was becoming more and more labored.

“What. Is. Going. On. Here.”

The stern voice of Mr. Michaelson interrupted the confrontation. Everyone’s attention immediately shifted. All of Derek’s bravado was instantly drained. Mr. Michaelson was the homeroom teacher of one of the classes down the hall. He was notoriously strict, his mere presence kept even the most rambunctious students in line. He was a tall middle age man with wide shoulders, short tidy brown hair, and a thick mustache.

“We were, uh, just goofing around Mr. Michaelson, honest.” Derek was desperately trying to defuse the situation, “I was just curious as to what my buddy Ray was reading. Isn’t that right, Ray?”

Suddenly Ray found his own feet to be incredibly fascinating.

“Oh is that so? And here I thought I heard you inquiring about young Raymond’s sexual orientation. I was wondering why you would be doing that Derek. I thought perhaps you had finally come out of the closet and were looking for a butt-buddy to hook up with. Well let me assure you, neither Ray, nor is that book, gay. As a matter of fact, that book is considered a classic in SciFi/Fantasy fiction. I read the whole series myself. Now, perhaps in the future, you can look for a boyfriend at a more appropriate time. Now give. Raymond. His. Book.”

Derek turned a bright shade of red as the class laughed at the bully’s expense. Even Ray cracked a small smile. Derek tossed the book onto Ray’s desk and turned around to take his seat, but Mr. Michaelson wasn’t quite finished.

“Oh, and Derek? In order for you to learn when it’s appropriate to flirt with the other boys, you’ll be serving detention with me during every lunch hour for the next two weeks. We can sit down and have a nice long talk about it.”

Derek groaned and laid his head down on the desk, still blushing from the teacher’s comments. Ray sat back down and pocketed his book again, knowing what little time he had to read had passed. Their home teacher, Mrs. Abernathy, walked in as Mr. Michaelson turned to leave. She had caught the end of the confrontation, and it was now her turn to lecture Derek.

Mrs. Abernathy was an older, bookish woman, with wide spectacles and long gray hair tied back in a neat bun.

Shortly afterwards, morning announcements were given, roll call was taken, the bell rang and the students were off to their first class of the day. As Raymond walked down the hall he was once again drawn out of his own inner world.

“Raymond, Come here for a moment.” Called Mr. Michaelson when the boy passed by his room.

Hesitantly, Ray walked over to the big man.

“Yes Mr. Michaelson?” he asked nervously.

“I just want you to know, if anyone’s ever giving you a hard time, or even if you just need someone to talk to, my door is always open.”
“O-oh, umm, thanks Mr. Michaelson, I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.” Ray stammered out before saying a quick goodbye and heading to his first class.

Mr. Michaelson gave a heavy sigh and muttered to himself, “kids can be so cruel.”

 

~o~O~o~
 

Thankfully the rest of the morning went relatively peacefully for Ray. He managed to avoid notice for the most part, with the exception of his math teacher catching him napping. Once again, there was laughter at his expense, but he had to admit that he deserved it to a certain degree this time. He had been warned about sleeping in class many times already.

Lunch too was peaceful. He managed to slip away to one of the stairwells and had a quiet lunch alone. Got some reading in too.

The second half of the day started out okay, but he knew that would soon change in one way or the other. That was because his last two periods of the day were his most hated class, and then his favorite class. In that order. If he could just survive Gym class, then he could go to Art. Wonderful, peaceful Art.

But first came the humiliation of Gym.

Gym class was with Mr. McMan, and as his name would suggest, Mr. McMan was a true mans man. He was a lighter skinned African American in his early 30s. He kept his head clean shaven, and had the smallest trace of a five ‘o’clock shadow on his strong features.
Raymond always rushed to Gym, not out of excitement, but so he could quickly change before the other boys arrived.

The first half of Gym class was always the worst. It always began with Mr. McMan ordering the class to do a number of laps around the gymnasium. The number of laps wold slowly increase as the school year progressed, and would also increase based on the year of the students. Following that, there was a general workout consisting of sit-ups, push-ups, and jumping jacks. As it was March, the number of laps was getting higher. Each of the 8th grade students had to do 25 laps around the gym.

It was humiliating.

As the students finished running they would go and sit in a group in the middle of the gym and wait for everyone else. Ray was always the last to finish. Not only was he always last, but he always last by a significant margin. He would still be running for several minutes after everyone else had finished. In the beginning he tried to just go sit down when everyone else was seated, but Mr.McMan wouldn’t accept that. He said, in front of the whole class, that Raymond had not finished his laps. That Raymond still had however many left and that he had been counting.

The second time Ray tried to sit down before his laps were finished McMan did the exact same thing, with insults added. He went into a rant about Ray being incompetent at even basic counting. This was especially hurtful because while Ray was a painfully average student, the one area he had always excelled was mathematics. Numbers had always come easy to him, and yet this muscle brain had the nerve to say he couldn’t count? It had been one of the very rare times where Ray lost his temper, he had blown up on the man, which had gotten him sent to the principal's office, which had gotten him an in-school suspension, which had gotten him grounded at home.

And sure enough, today was no different. Ray was only on lap 17 when the rest of the class had finished. They waited for a while, Mr. McMan watching Ray with clear disgust.

19 done. Only 6 to go.

“Okay class,” Mr. McMan began, “I want each of you to do 5 reps of 10 in all of our usual exercises, while you do, I’m going to talk to you about the importance of this class.”

The other students began to move as McMan continued to talk, “It is of my opinion, that this class will be the most important you ever take. Gym class is where you learn to take care of your bodies, and by extension how to take care of yourself.”

20 done. 5 to go.

“With the skills I teach you, you will be able to ensure that you don’t waste away into a useless pile of garbage. In order to be successful in this world, one must have a strong body. For men, that means having the stamina and strength to work all day under the hot sun. We can’t have any extra blubber weighing us down.”

21. 4 to go.

“For women, that means having the bodies to attract a man’s gaze, bear and raise children, and take care of their family”
Some of the other students were clearly starting to become uncomfortable. Some had stopped working out all together.

22. 3 to go.

“If we’re overweight, then we’ll be nothing but a waste of space. Who would ever want to be friends with someone like that?”

23. 2 to go. Almost there.

“If you cannot complete this simple workout, then how can you expect to make it through college or university? You’ll never amount to anything.”

23. “Fuck this.” Ray turned and walked towards the change rooms.

“Aye, where do you think you’re going?!”

Ray ignored him. He went into the change room, quickly showered, and changed into his normal clothes. He exited into the halls, empty as the period wasn’t even half over, and headed towards the art room, praying that Ms. Mira would be there.

 

~o~O~o~
 

When he arrived, the door was locked, but the lights were on and he could clearly see Ms. Mira moving about inside. He gave a light knock to get her attention, and then gave a friendly wave. She smiled and strolled over.

She opened the door and looked at him sternly.

“Ray, class isn’t for another 45 minutes. What are you doing here?”

Ms. Mira Cornwald was the youngest teacher on staff, maybe in her mid twenties by Ray’s best guess, her hair was dirty blond and relatively long, and she wore glasses over her big pretty brown eyes. She was easily Ray’s favorite teacher, and her class was the only one he was really comfortable in. She had originally insisted that the student’s just call her Mira, as art wasn’t the place for such formalities, but that hadn’t gone over well with the principal and vice-principal. They insisted that the “Ms.” before her name was used as it was a sign of respect. They had finally come to an agreement that the students could simply refer to her as Ms. Mira, rather then Ms. Cornwald. She thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

“I uh, I kinda skipped out on Gym” Ray replied hesitantly, refusing to lie to the kind woman.

“Mr. McMan making an ass of himself again?” her stern face was replaced with the gentle smile she usually wore, “Come on in.”

“Thanks.” Ray replied, returning her smile after giggling at her rather inappropriate language for a teacher in a catholic school.

“Hey now, I didn’t say it was for free. To earn your entrance, you have to impress me!” she said dramatically, “Otherwise I’ll kick your butt back to the Gym!”

Ray couldn’t help but laugh. Being as introverted as he was, he usually kept whatever piece he was working on to himself, one might even go so far as to say he was terrified of sharing his work. Ms. Mira was always having to find new ways to get him to share any art that wasn’t being submitted for grading. Even then he would only share with her, never any of his classmates. He had always found art to be too personal to share with others, especially in school, where he had a hard-enough time already. His family wouldn’t even know he was in art if it wasn’t for his report card.

He went over to his art locker, usually reserved for older students, Ms. Mira had made an exception for him when he showed her his dedication to his work. The art lockers were a series of thin deep cabinets that could be used to store paintings or other pieces between classes. They could be used for both academic pieces, and personal pieces, at the discretion of whoever the locker was assigned to. The only real rule was that the pieces had to be appropriate for a catholic school, but even that could be bent if you were in Ms. Mira’s good books. The lockers also didn’t have actual locks. The main force that kept them from being tampered with was the fury of Ms. Mira.

Opening the last locker in the row, Ray delicately shuffled through some different pieces until he found what he had been working on lately. He carefully drew it out of the locker and laid it on the table. Ms. Mira eagerly skipped over to take the peek she had been promised.

The piece had been done on a relatively large piece of poster paper. It depicted a very wrinkly old man lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by medical equipment, and monitors, and smiling happily despite it all. The bed itself took up the majority of the image and everything from the sheets to the wrinkles on the mans face had been made to look incredibly detailed. The piece was almost entirely done in pencil and black ink, with the exception of the old man’s eyes, which were an incredibly vibrant blue, and were positioned to stare right at the viewer. The blue contrasted brilliantly with all the dark shadings and lines of the pencil and ink, and caused any viewers gaze to be pulled towards the mans face. The eyes were a trap however, they served to draw the viewers attention away from certain other details. Off to the side there was a doorway. The door led to a dark room, lacking the detail that had been put into the rest of the image, in fact, the entrance to the room had been completely shaded in with a dark pencil. However, if one looked closely a figure could be made out in the darkness. The figure was hard to see as it was drawn in black, and then covered in dark lead. The figure was that of a cloaked man, face hidden in shadows, the only thing that hinted at his identity was skeletal arm emerging from the cloaks sleeve, lightly grasping a large scythe.

Ms. Mira, familiar with the subtleties Ray liked to put into his work caught on fairly fast.

“Welp. Ya did it again Ray. I am impressed. You earned your early entrance.”

Ray just smiled, “Ya know, you didn’t have to strong arm me. I would have showed you eventually. Probably.”

Ms. Mira playfully swatted his arm, “Oh probably, huh? Probably not! You only show me the pieces you’re planning to submit for marks! With all you’ve done this year the odds of me seeing it would not have been that great I think!”

Ray just shrugged, causing both of them to break into laughter.

“What do you call this piece?” She asked

“Eh, I dunno.” He answered, “I usually don’t title my work.”

“Well you should.” She insisted, “especially anything that you put as much work into as you clearly did this.”

After he promised to think about a title the conversation moved on.

“So tell me, how did you make the room in the back?” She inquired, “you clearly used a softer pencil to make the doorway as dark as it is, and yet the grim reaper is still visible!”

Ray smiled, it was something he had discovered by accident when he was doodling one day.

“Here, I’ll show you.” He began to walk around the room, pulling out the supplies he would need.

He sat down again, and laid out a small piece of scrap paper. In black pen he drew a quick little scribble on the paper, then taking a 4B pencil, he scribbled over it, covering it in a thick layer of lead. The ink was still darker then the lead however, and it could just barely be seen.

“Ahh, creative use of ink.” Ms. Mira said after carefully watching the process. “Okay, now since you’re here, help me get everything ready for class, while we do, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

“O-oh?” Ray asked nervously, thoughts beginning to race, trying to figure out what he had done wrong.

He managed to remain calm, and after carefully replacing the drawing in his art locker, began pulling out the materials they would need for class.

“Relax. You’re not in trouble.” She said gently, “I actually wanted to talk to you about an opportunity. In September, the art gallery in Mountsview is holding a special event, they want to feature the works of talented high school students. Each student has to be recommended by their instructor, and then submit a portfolio of 5 pieces if they want to considered. The chosen student’s will have their work displayed for some of the most influential people in the province! Their even considering an auction if the student’s are willing to sell their work, and the work is good enough! They have yet to decide how many students will be chosen, the event itself could even be cancelled if they don’t like what they see. Anyways, I think this could be a great opportunity for you, and I would be happy to recommend you!”

She paused from her puttering to look at him expectantly

“O-oh, well, um, I appreciate the offer, but you said it was for high school students, right? I’m not a high school student yet. I’m only in grade 8.” He said, trying to find an excuse not to enter.

“You're right! But the selections aren’t until September, and you WILL be a high school student by then. Right?” She asked, refusing to allow him to get out of it that easily.

Ray sighed heavily. “C’mon Ms. Mira. You know how I feel about sharing my work.” He complained, “besides, I don’t know if my parents would approve.”

“Okay fine,” she said sadly, “I won’t bring it up again, but just promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay.” He said.

They continued to talk about a wide variety of topics until their conversation was finally interrupted by the arrival of the other students.
As they entered Ms. Mira looked at him and said one last time, “think about it.”

Ray nodded, and soon class began.

“A 5 piece portfolio, huh?” He whispered to himself, an idea taking root.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Art class ended up going way too fast, and soon the school day was over. Raymond gathered up his things, and after a quick stop at this locker was ready to head home. He preferred to avoid the bus and walk home when the weather permitted it, so he pulled on his backpack and prepared for the 45-minute walk.

He was so done with this day. He just wanted to go home and relax.

Unfortunately, the day was not quite done with him.

“Hey! Gaymond!”

Will turned to see Derek and a few of his cronies walking up to him.

“Because of you, I lost my lunch hours for the next two weeks! How are you gonna make that up to me?”

“You did that to yourself Derek, if you’d just leave me alone you wouldn’t get in trouble.” Ray explained, trying to keep the confrontation from escalating.

Placing the blame on the bully’s shoulders had clearly been a mistake, however, as Derek’s arm was pulled back, his hand made into a fist, and launched at Ray’s face.

It wasn’t a hard punch, but Ray was sent reeling none the less, more from the surprise then anything. He wasn’t expecting the bully to try and start a fight in broad daylight when they were surrounded by other students.

Rubbing the cheek that had been struck, Ray turned to look at the bully. He and his cronies were laughing, “What’s wrong, bitch? I barely touched you.” Taunted Derek between laughs.

“Yeah, he barely touched you!” Echoed Nick, Derek’s best friend and partner in harassment.

The smile on Nick’s face died instantly, however, as a large force slammed into Derek, sending him flying to the ground.

“Ugh, WHAT THE FUCK?!” Derek raged, as he pushed himself up.

Everyone who had been witnessing the confrontation turned to the source of Derek’s pain. Standing over him was Sebastian. The practice field was right next to the entrance to the school, and from it, Sebastian had watched the whole scene unfold. Even though football season was over, Sebastian and his friends from the team still liked to practice regularly.

“What’s wrong, bitch? I barely touched you.” Spat Sebastian to the prone bully. “Now get up.”

Sebastian waited for Derek to regain his footing, before grabbing him by the collar.

“Let’s get something straight” Sebastian began menacingly, “when you fuck with my brother, you fuck with me, and you don’t want to fuck with me. Got it?”

Derek’s jaw trembled with what Ray couldn’t be sure was fury or fear, regardless of which, the bully nodded.

Releasing him, Sebastian turned to Ray, “You good bro?”

“Y-yeah” Ray stammered, just wanting the whole thing to be over.

With a nod, Sebastian turned and jogged back to the field, rejoining his friends.

The bullies gave Ray one last glance before heading to their respective buses.

Ray, with a heavy sigh, adjusted his glasses and turned to begin walking home.

 

~o~O~o~
 

With a heavy heart, Ray walked into the house. Taking off his shoes and hoodie, he looked around to see who else was home. Based on vehicles in the driveway and shoes at the door it seemed like it was just him, his sister, and their father for the time being. Their mother was a lawyer and often worked late, dinner was usually prepared around her schedule so the family could eat together as soon as she got home.
He headed to his room, wanting nothing more then to take another stab at that boss. Maybe if he was lucky Sebastian would play with him later.

“Hey squirt!” his father called as he walked by the kitchen, “how was school?”

“Horrible. As usual.” Was Rays disgruntled response as he turned to look at his father.

Jameson Danahy was a tall middle aged man. He had wide shoulders, short light brown hair, and blue eyes. He kept himself clean shaven and his body was in good shape. It was kind of a requirement for his job actually. Jameson was an architect by profession, but had had been a volunteer fire fighter at the small fire station in Lakewood since before Ray had been born, and while not the chief of the department, his name definitely carried some weight. Because of both his work and his volunteer work he was well known and well liked in the small town, and in several of the neighboring towns as well.

Jameson frowned, looking up from the newspaper. “I’m sorry to hear that son. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, it’s fine.” Sighed Ray.

He continued towards his room.

“Don’t forget!” Called his father, “report cards came in today. We’ll be discussing them at dinner tonight.”

Back in his room Ray collapsed on his bed. How could he have forgotten? He had been dreading it all week. It was just another chance for him to be compared to his perfect brother and his perfect sister. The two of them were constantly making the honor roll, a list of students who had achieved either a B+ average or better. Something that never happened for Raymond. Inevitably he would be lectured by the whole family tonight.

“You need to get off those stupid games!”

“Spend more time studying”

“Stop sleeping in class”

“Instead of reading silly fantasy novels read a real book”

He knew exactly how the conversation would go. Depending on how poorly he did he may even be grounded for a few weeks.
All of his inhibitions and self-loathing came bubbling to the surface. The tears he seemed to have been holding back all day finally overwhelmed him. He laid in bed crying quietly, feeling more trapped then usual.

“Why was I ever even born?”

 

---

---

 

Okay. Deep breath.

Hi.

My name is Flummox.

I stumbled upon this website some time ago, and read some of the stories. Thought some were okay, absolutely loved others. Reading these stories got me thinking, I want to try this. So after a few weeks of thinking that, I finally did. I made this account and started writing a story, and soon the story took over.

I’m kinda shy, so I didn’t even have the courage to post this for another week, by which point I had written around 40,000 words. So uh, if you liked it, please please please let me know in the comment’s below, or with one of those Kudos thingys. I have 8 more chapters ready, I’m planning on releasing them according to a schedule I have not yet figured out. This way I’ll have a bit of a buffer if I fall behind in my writing.
This is the story of a teenager’s journey of self-discovery. It’s going to be rather slowly paced compared to some of the stories I’ve read here, and it’s going to go over a lot of the main character’s issues, fears, and insecurities.

I was also really unsure what to do with all the different tags. Should I be putting the tags that apply to this chapter? Or tags that apply to the story as a whole? Anyone who could clear that up would be my hero.

This is my first time writing, so I’m fully prepared for it to be horrible, but I’m hopeful that it won’t be. Any critiques are more them welcome, just please be gentle. So please, keep what I’ve said in mind, be patient with me, and I hope with all my heart that you enjoy the ride. Welcome to A Blank Page.

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A Blank Page
Chapter 2
By Flummox

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Jameson quietly closed his youngest child’s door. He hated seeing him like this. So depressed all the time. When Raymond had been younger he had always been a bubbly, happy child. It had been rare to see him without a smile on his face. What had changed? Was he a failure as a father? Had he simply not given him enough attention or love?

When Ray slept through dinner that night, he and his wife decided to let him sleep. They could discuss his report card later, more privately when his siblings weren’t around. The two of them had taken a look at it together already, and had decided this was for the best. Evalyn and Sebastian had inquired about his whereabouts at dinner, and they were told the truth, he was too tired to eat. Evalyn excepted this without question but Sebastian looked… bothered. The four of them had discussed their grades, what could be improved on, what their strengths and weaknesses were, and other related topics for a couple of hours. Then they had finished with some dessert, and a brief discussion about what they wanted to do in life.

Sebastian had a pretty good idea of where he wanted to go in life. He hoped to win a sports scholarship to a college or university, from there he wanted to try and go pro while studying mechanics and engineering. His grades were good with straight As and Bs with the exception of History where he had a C. Bottom line was that he had the grades he needed to do what he wanted. Even if he didn’t get a scholarship.

Evalyn wasn’t quite as organized. She attended class every day, was a model student with straight As in all of her subjects but mathematics. In this alone she had a B, and it infuriated her. She would spend hours pouring over practice problems every week, nailing the formulas and algorithms into her head, but when it came down to exams she would often choke. Staring blankly at the test, she would be lucky if she even finished it, let alone aced it. For these reasons, it drove her insane that her little brother Raymond could sleep through his math classes, miss entire homework assignments, and STILL pass his math classes almost effortlessly. Sure, he usually only achieved a C or a B in math, but everyone in the family knew that if Ray applied himself, even just a little, he could easily get an A.

As for life goals, Evalyn changed her mind on a weekly basis. One day she would want to be a physicist. The next a lawyer. Maybe the week after that a doctor. She really had no clue, but with her grades and drive, her parents really weren’t worried. They had no doubt that she would figure it out eventually.

“Wha’cha thinking about?” Asked his wife quietly as she wrapped her arms around him.

It occurred to him that he had been standing in the hallway for the last 5 minutes staring at an old family photo.

“Just how lucky we are.” He replied with a smile, gently taking her hand in his.

He turned to face his wife. At 42 she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever lain eyes on. Catalina Danahy stood at 5’8, wore her bright red hair at shoulder length, and had the deepest green eyes. He could spend hours staring into those emeralds. In fact, he had spent hours staring into them on certain occasions. Such as the night they were married, and the nights when each of their children had been born.

“We have incredible children.” He said, drawing her into his embrace.

“Oh, of course.” She replied matter-of-factly, resting her head on his chest, “there has never been a doubt in my mind.”

“Oh really?” he said, raising his voice teasingly, “even Raymond?”

There was a moments silence in which the two of them just stood there. Wrapped in each other’s embrace.

“Raymond… just needs to figure himself out.” She began carefully, “he’s not like you and Seb.”

That prompted a heavy sigh from Jameson.

“I know. He’s a good kid, I just…”, Jameson looked at his youngest son in the family portrait on the wall, trying to gather his thoughts, “sometimes I just don’t know what to say to him. He always seems to be lost in his own world.”

That elicited a giggle from his wife.

“If I recall correctly, Mr. Danahy,” Catalina began, looking up into her husband’s eyes, “we first met because YOU were too busy staring off into space to watch where you were going.” She said teasingly. “You nearly trampled right over me!”

Jameson couldn’t help but smile at the memory from their time in college, “well of course! I had just seen the most beautiful sight of my life!”

Catalina smiled at the flattery.

“Yes, I believe her name was Jill Montgomry.” Jameson finished.

Catalina’s jaw dropped in mock outrage, and she gently punched her husbands arm.

He laughed and pulled her back to him, pressing his lips to hers.

As the couple went about getting ready for bed, Catalina turned to him again.

“Seriously though Jameson. What are we going to do about Raymond?”

Sighing again, Jameson just shook his head. He didn’t have an answer, but tomorrow was Saturday. They could try and figure it out then. Together.
 

~o~O~o~
 

Maya ran across the barren plateau as massive tentacles burst from the ground all around her. She spun around, pulling out her trusty SMG as she did, and let loose a volley of mysterious purple glowing bullets. As they connected with her target, the massive squid-like monster’s main body, she saw out of the corner of her eye the short Mexican man, Salvador, pull out a second gun with a crazy laugh. The purple bullets served their purpose and caused the boss to begin giving off a sickly glow.

Finish it!

As Salvador let loose explosive blast after explosive blast with his dual pistols, a massive streak flew through the air and connected with the skyscraper sized abomination. Maya knew the streak originated from the edge of the small plateau where another ally, the alien looking Zero, stood with his sniper rifle in hand. On her left the teenage genius, Gaige, was summoning forth her Deathtrap, a massive robot guardian she had built from scraps. A moment later the robot was assaulting the monster as well.

Switching to a different SMG, Maya too, began emptying all her ammo into the monster. A moment later, with a large crash, ‘Terramorphous the Invincible’ was finally vanquished. As its body collapsed to the ground, tiny glowing specs began to burst forth from its corpse like a geyser. The specs were loot. Items, and each item had a different color. They were mostly white, with some being green, a few being blue, a small number being purple, and somewhere, there was guaranteed to be a single golden item.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Niiiiiiiice fight.” Came a voice through the headset.

Raymond slumped back against his bed. That had been intense.

“Yeah, no kidding!” said another.

“Anyone see the legendary?!” asked a very eager third voice.

“Yeah it’s over here.” Replied Raymond, spotting the golden loot and steering his character, the Siren, Maya, towards it.

“What did we get Rayny?!” asked the third voice excitedly.

“Oooooh nice! We got a ‘Hide of Terramorphous’!” Raymond replied happily.

All three of his teammates expressed their pleasure.

“Let’s go back to Sanctuary and we’ll dupe it!” The first voice suggested. No one disagreed.

A short time later the party was back in the game’s main town, and each had a copy of the special item.

Raymond looked at the clock. It was 9:00 am. His family would be getting up anytime now, and there was no doubt in his mind his parents would want to discuss his report card.

“It was fun guys, but I gotta go. Have a great day or night or whatever.”

“Bye Rayny!” the three voices said almost simultaneously.

“Bye Cake, bye Bunny, bye Noob.” he replied before signing out and shutting down his Xbox.

He sighed heavily. He wished he could play with them more often. C4keIs4L!e, KiLLerBuNNy, and n00bSauce, more commonly referred to as Cake, Bunny, and Noob, were the screennames of three of his online friends. They had been playing video games together online for years. Unfortunately, as they lived in different time zones, they could not always find time to play with their often-conflicting schedules. To them, he wasn’t Raymond the chubby, nerdy kid. No, He was their friend RaynyDayz, who together with they had toppled evil empires, slain evil villains, and saved many different worlds many times over. None of them knew much about each other, but they didn’t need to. They enjoyed each other’s company and got along. That was all they needed.

He did know a few things about them outside of the video game world however. For example, he knew that Cake was a college student somewhere in Europe, Noob was a young businessman on the east coast of Canada, and Bunny was a teenager in Seattle on the west coast of Washington in the United States.

Raymond was the youngest in the group, but none of them looked down on him despite that. Oh, there was some good natured teasing of course, but at the end of the day he was an equal member of the group. In the beginning, they had actually thought he was a girl because, to be frank, he had sounded like one. Being 11 at the time he had yet to have hit puberty, and the sound of his voice was all they had had to go by. It’s not that it was uncommon for young boys to be online like he was, in fact it was the opposite, they were often derogatorily referred to as “squeakers”, and many older gamers preferred to avoid talking to them as they tended to be immature and obnoxious. Raymond, however, had always been very mild mannered and quiet with a friendly disposition. This combined with his high voice had led his friends to make the logical assumption that he was one of the rare teenage girl gamers. When he finally realized he was being referred to as a “she”, he quickly corrected them, not that it really bothered him to begin with, and they moved on.

Of them all, he got along best with Bunny. This was for a variety of reasons. Both geographically - and in age - they were closer then the rest. Bunny lived in Seattle, on the west coast of Washington state, and Raymond lived in Lakewood, BC, a small town to the west of Canada’s Rocky Mountains. Bunny was 16, and a junior in high school, Raymond was 13 and in the 8th grade. Being so close together geographically, they were actually also in the same time zone, allowing them to play together much more often.

After falling asleep so early the previous night, Ray had woken up earlier then usual, at 6:33 AM to be precise, and had just started trying to beat that damn boss again. He had barely made two attempts when he received a text message from Bunny, asking if he was awake and if he wanted to play some Borderlands 2, their favorite game to play together. Frustrated with the current game, it had not been a hard decision to make, and they were joined by Cake and N00b a short time after.

But now the time for fun was over. He had been pushing his hunger away for hours already, not wanting to wake anyone up by looking for breakfast and potentially invite a conversation he would rather not have. He could here people stirring now though, and knew that one way or another it was going to happen. Might as well get it over with.

So, with a heavy sigh, he opened his door and headed for the kitchen.

“Hi honey!” Came his Mother’s voice as he walked past the TV room. “I missed you last night!” she said as she stood to come give him a hug and a kiss on his forehead.

Catalina Danahy often worked late and usually didn’t get home until around 7 as she commuted to one of the neighboring towns for work. She was a lawyer and the primary bread winner for the family, a fact that might have embarrassed many other men, but not his father. No, on the contrary, Jameson was quite proud of his wife, and would give up his own career before doing anything that might damage his wife’s. As an architect, Jameson designed buildings for a living, and because of this, was able to often work from home. He had an office with all the tools and supplies he might need right in the house. The children all knew not to disturb him while he was working unless it was an emergency. This setup also allowed him to be at home while the kids were getting ready for school, see them out the door, and welcome them home. If he needed to go into the office for any reason he could do so while they were at school.

“Yeah, sorry about that Mom, I was really tired last night and crashed as soon as I got home.” He explained, returning her hug.

Catalina raised an eyebrow as it was rare for Ray not to be the last one up, much to his parent’s annoyance. She didn’t believe for a moment that he had told her the whole truth, but she wasn’t going to push the issue now.

“Soooooo, any plans for today?” She inquired, avoiding the obvious subject of Ray’s report card to his great relief.

“Oh, uh, not really.” He said, adjusting his glasses, “might just go for a walk.” If she wasn’t gonna bring up his report card he sure as hell wasn’t either.

“A walk?!” his mother said dramatically, “Have you looked outside?”

She pointed to the window over her shoulder, where the rain was clearly pouring down. Hard.

Raymond laughed, “C’mon Mom, you know I love the rain.”

His love for the rain had actually been the inspiration for his gaming screenname. ‘RainyDays’ had already been taken when he set up his account so he had spelled ‘Rainy’ the same way his own name was spelled, and gotten ‘Rayny’. From there he had just changed the ‘s’ at the end to a ‘z’, there was no real reason for that, he just kinda felt like it. The sad thing was that as RaynyDayz he had more friends then he had ever had as Raymond.

She just smiled and rolled her eyes, “Okay, fine, but you had better dress appropriately young man.” She relented.

Now it was his turn to smile and roll his eyes. “I always do Mom, but first I’m gonna get some breakfast.”

“Of course, wouldn’t want you to waste away now.” She teased sarcastically.

Ray forced a chuckle despite the hurt he felt from the comment, he knew his Mom didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, but she did nonetheless. Not that he’d ever tell her. He headed for the kitchen.

Dodged that bullet.

“Oh, and Ray?” his Mom called, as he walked away. She waited until he turned to look at her. “At some point today, either before or after your walk - I'll leave it up to you - me, you, and your father do need to have a talk.”

Or not.
 

~o~O~o~
 
A short time later, Raymond sat at the coffee table in the living room with his parents opposite. He had elected to have ‘the talk’ before his walk as he knew afterwards he would want to be alone. His siblings had been told they were not to be disturbed, Evalyn was fine with that, saying she had better things to do anyways. Sebastian had been unhappy, he wanted to be there to support his brother, but his parents were adamant that they speak with him alone.

“Son, you know we love you. No matter what.” His father began hesitantly, “but these grades,” he tapped the report card lying on the table between them. “Are unacceptable. The only thing you seem to be taking seriously is your art class, and don’t get me wrong, art is fine. As a hobby. But it won’t get you into college or university, and it won’t get you a career.”

Raymond looked at his feet. He could already feel the tears coming. He thought he was cried out after last night, but clearly, he was mistaken.

“Ray?” His mother probed gently, “c’mon, look at us.”

He slowly raised his head, swallowing back his tears.

“We need to fix this, before it gets any further out of hand.” His mother said gently, “we know you can do so much better. You just need to apply yourself.”

Ray could only give a jerky nod.

“We need to start preparing for post-secondary education.” His father explained, “in this day and age you’ll never get a good job without college or university, and just getting a into college will be a hefty challenge at this rate.”

A tremble ran through Ray’s lower lip. All he could think about was how much of a disappointment he was. He looked back to the floor.

“Jameson!” Scolded his mother, “Ray, look at me.” She said, using her gentle, motherly voice once more.

When he didn’t she gently took his chin in her hand and drew his head up until she was looking into his teary eyes.

“Your father is getting ahead of himself. It is important that we improve, but you’re only in grade 8. There’s still lots of time to get to where you need to be, and you’ll have me, your father, Sebastian and Evalyn to help you along the way.”

Ray sniffled, wiped at his eyes, and adjusted his glasses, still desperately trying to keep the tears from falling. “But Seb and Eva never needed any help.” He said, his voice trembling.

“Of course they did.” Reassured his mother, “Everyone needs help at some point or another.”

“Absolutely squirt.” Chipped in his father, “your different from Sebastian and Eva, but tha-"

“Thanks Dad.” Ray interrupted, rising to his feet. The tears started rolling down his cheeks. Damnit. “Thanks for reminding me, once again, just how different I am from my perfect older brother, and my perfect older sister. It’s not enough that I have to constantly see it every day at school, but now at home too.”

“Wait, Ray, that’s not-"

Ray was already leaving the room. He ran for the door quickly stuffing his feet in his shoes, and pulling on his jacket.

“Ray, please wait!” Called his mother chasing after him.

Hearing the commotion, Sebastian stuck his head out of his room at the top of the stairs. He quickly jumped up as he saw his little brother slam the door.

“What happened?!” He asked as he rushed to the door and began to pull on his shoes and coat.

“Just your Father being an idiot again.” She said giving him a dirty look.

Jameson could only shrug and raise his hands plaintively.

Sebastian didn’t wait to hear what he said, he ran out the door looking for Ray, but the street was empty.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Slamming the door behind him, Raymond wiped at his eyes, trying to keep the tears from blurring them. Adjusting his glasses, he took off down the road as fast as his chubby form could take him. Knowing that they could easily catch him, he turned and ran between two houses, he just needed to break line of sight and get to the forest. After that they wouldn’t be able to find him until he was ready to go home. He just needed… space. Time to himself to figure some stuff out.

The rain drops beat off his head, he would soon be soaked. He didn’t care. He heard his brother call out his name. He had to go faster, if anyone could catch him his brother could. It was only another block to the treeline though. He would head for the lake. That was his usual go-to spot when he needed to be alone. It was beautiful there. Peaceful. The raindrops striking the water’s surface always captured something deep within him.

He passed beneath the first tree branches.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Raymond sat, desperately trying to catch his breath. He had run all the way to the lake. A walk that would normally take him half an hour had been done in half the time. He was exhausted. Mentally and physically.

The rhythmic pitter patter of the rain was slowly having its usual calming effect on him however. He was slowly regulating his breathing. Getting it under control.

He sat on a wide flat rock just off the lake shore. It had been there as long as he could remember. One summer, when Ray was younger, Sebastian had helped him collect large rocks from the woods and shoreline. Together they had made a series of stepping stones to reach the boulder on which he now sat. It had always been a special place for him.

Not for the fist time, he sat there and thought dark thoughts. He had considered killing himself before, but the very idea of death terrified him.

“Fat, stupid, AND a coward.” The voice of Derek Pilsing drifted through his mind.

He rolled up his pant legs and laid back on the rock. He dipped his feet in the water, having already pulled his shoes and socks off on the shore.

“I really am a waste of space.” Ray whispered to no one in particular. Damnit. Now the tears were flowing again.

He closed his eyes and focused all his senses on the sensation of the rain beating against his face. He took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of the rain falling into his open mouth.

How could he go on like this? He was only in grade 8. He still had 4 more years of school. 4 more years of miserable school, and then a lifetime past that, trapped in this miserable body.

He laid there for what seemed to be an hour. He was pulled back to reality by the distant rumble of thunder. The mental image of a bolt of lightning striking the surface of the water and killing him scared him into quickly pulling his feet from the water. As quickly as he could, he hopped back across the stepping stone bridge to the shore. He landed on the shore and dried his feet on some moss, before pulling his shoes and socks back on.

Suddenly, without warning, the rain began to let up. He sat on the shore for a few more minutes, as the rain drops became fewer and fewer.

Soon the clouds weakened enough that a few rays of light shone threw.

A rainbow shone in the air high above the lake. It was spectacular. Something as huge and powerful as a storm could change so quickly.

Even something as small as a raindrop could make ripples that changed the surface of a much larger body of water.

Change. Just like that, the thought surged through him. He became short of breath. It had been so simple. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? If he was so miserable trapped in this body, then he would just have to change it. It might be hard, and it wouldn’t happen over night. But just like a character slowly rising in level in a video game, or a drop of paint slowly transforming a piece of plain canvas into something beautiful, Ray could change.

“RAAAAAY”

Smiling, genuinely smiling for the fist time in a long time, Raymond turned to look in the direction the noise had come from, and started walking towards his brother’s voice.
 

~o~O~o~
 
That night, when Ray and Sebastian got home, completely soaked, Ray apologized to his parents, he promised them that he would try harder not to disappoint them.

Jameson and Catalina were completely befuddled. They would later ask Sebastian what he had said to get Ray to say that, to which he had no answer.

The next day Sebastian was laying on his bed in his room, watching whatever sport shows came on, when a quiet knock came on the door. After a short pause, he called out, “C’mon in squirt.”

“How’d ya know it was me?” asked his little brother.

Sebastian smiled, “if it was mom or dad they would have knocked and then just entered. Evalyn would have probably just shouted through the door.”

“Oh.” was all Ray could say, after thinking about it for a moment, he giggled, realizing that Sebastian was exactly right.

“What do you need Ray?” Sebastian asked, waving for his little brother to close the door and take a seat.

“I, uh, I need your help with something.” Ray began.

Seeing a drive in his brother’s eyes that he wasn’t used to, Sebastian sat up and turned off the TV.

After a deep breath, Ray continued. “I want to change. I don’t want to be," he paused, gesturing to his body, "this anymore. Do you think you could help me?”

Sebastian nodded slowly. He had not been expecting that, but he was happy to hear it.

“I would love to. We’ll start after school tomorrow. But it’s not going to be a walk in the park. Are you ready to work hard? Maybe harder then you ever have before?”

For a moment, Ray looked unsure, but then that drive returned to his eyes. He nodded.

“Alright then. Don’t be up late playing games tonight. You’ll need to be well rested.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
True to his word, Ray went to bed earlier then he usually would that night. It had been quite the weekend, but tomorrow was the start of another school week. Hopefully a bit better then the last. Tomorrow, he hoped, would also be the beginning of a new Ray.

He wanted to change. In order to keep on living, he had to.
 

---

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Hello all you wonderful people!

Flummox here.

I have to say, when I posted chapter 1, I was just hoping for a bit of feedback, and for no one to tell me I was horrible.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I was not expecting the overwhelming amount of positive feedback. I’d like to say words cannot express how it made me feel, but in my opinion that would be a cliché and a lie. I believe there is very little words cannot express.

I’ll just say, your responses got my heart racing, and made my brain go numb. They were all I could think about for the last three days. They inspired me to continue, and they even inspired a new fear. I can now say, as corny as this may sound, I am very afraid to disappoint any of you. All I can do, however, is keep doing my best, striving to improve, and hoping that’s enough.

To everyone who gave me advice, I will truly do my best to take what you’ve said to heart. I hope my work reflects that, and that this chapter had less errors then the first.

To everyone who expressed their concern for Raymond, or discomfort at some of the scenes, I promise thing’s will get better.

Finally, to everyone who told me to keep going, don’t you worry. At the very least, there will be 8 more chapters after this one. I know because they are already written.

On the topic of those 8 chapters, I think I’ll try and post two chapters a week, at least until I’m all caught up. After that I don’t know. If I can produce two a week, I will, and if I continue writing at the rate I have been thus far, that seems highly likely. Currently I’m thinking I’ll post the chapters every Tuesday, and every Saturday, so keep an eye out!

A note about the next chapter, it’s going to pick up the pace, but just a little. Like I said last time, this is going to be a rather slowly paced story.

So once again, thank you so so much for taking the time to read my story. Comments and advice is what’s going to keep me going, so if you have any you’d like to share, I would love to hear it. Or, if you’re shy like me and don’t want to post a public comment, or even just want to give me some encouragement, then please feel free to message me privately.

I hope all of your days go as wonderfully as you all made me feel.

Flummox

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A Blank Page
Chapter 3
By Flummox

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Raymond sighed heavily as he walked in the door. Well, he had gotten through Monday relatively easily. Unsurprisingly after Sebastian’s confrontation with Derek on Friday, the bullies seemed a bit less eager to target him. It was a welcome relief. He knew it wouldn’t last long, it never did, but for the time being he could just keep to himself and focus on trying to get in shape.

Looking at his phone for the time, Ray saw that he had a text message. It was from his online friend Bunny. Being relatively close both geographically and in age, Ray and Bunny had exchanged phone numbers the day Ray was given his first phone. Bunny was basically the only person outside Ray’s immediate family that he used his phone to talk with.

Unlocking his phone, Ray flipped to his messages.

Heya Rayny! How’re the skies today?

Ray couldn’t help but smile. It was a running joke between the two. Ray’s screen name when he was online was ‘RaynyDayz’, so for as long as they had known each other Bunny would always greet him with questions about the weather.

Depressingly sunny.

Ray sent his reply. Most people would consider a sunny day like today wonderful, and while the sun didn’t truly bother Ray, he had loved the rain for as long as he could remember.

A moment later his phone buzzed.

Lol! So wht r u up 2?

Not too much. Just got home from school. How about you?

Ray sent his reply. Bunny and his siblings always teased him about his texting. Unlike most teenagers, Ray hated the shortening of words in messages. It just felt weird to him. Maybe it was because of all the time he had spent reading, but the word ‘are’ was spelt ‘are’. Not ‘r’. ‘You’ was ’you’ not ’u’, and so on.

Lol just signing on. Wanna play?

Oh man, did Ray ever want to play. After a long day of school, he would have liked nothing better than to join his friend for some gaming, but he had plans with his brother. Frowning, Ray typed out a reply.

Sorry Bunny, I have plans with my brother. Maybe later? :(

At this point Ray had made it to his room on auto pilot. He sat down at his desk, figuring he might as well get some homework done in the half hour before Sebastian got home. He had promised his parents he’d try harder after all.

*bzz* Ray looked at the message.

Lol k. have fun, I might be on l8r. dunno. Ttyl.

Ray took one last longing look at his TV and game consoles in a corner of his room. With a heavy sigh, he adjusted his glasses, and opened his biology textbook.

 

~o~O~o~
 

“Alright, you ready?”

Ray nodded nervously. He and Sebastian stood outside the house, they were getting ready to go for a ‘light jog’ as Sebastian put it.

They had just finished some stretches and easy exercises to get themselves warmed up. Sebastian insisted proper warmup was important.

“Hey, relax squirt.” His brother reassured him, noting his nervousness, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. First, we’re gonna walk for five minutes, then we’ll do an easy jog for two. Then we’ll walk for 5 more, jog for 2. Walk 5, jog 2. Rinse and repeat. Easy-peasy, super straight forward. As we do this every day, you’ll develop more and more stamina, and you’ll be able to run for longer periods of time.”

“O-okay, if you say so.”

“I do say so.”, His brother declared confidently, “And I’ll tell ya what, while we’re walking, we can talk about whatever you want. Video games, your latest book, you name it.”

Ray smiled as they started walking, and started to tell Sebastian all about the game he was playing, and how he just couldn’t beat this one boss.

Sebastian walked beside him, smiling and listening, having a good-natured laugh here or there at his brother’s frustration.

Sebastian’s stopwatch beeped, interrupting his brother and signaling the end of the five minutes.

Without a word, Sebastian just picked up the pace, bringing the duo into a jog. Not too fast, not too slow, just enough to work up a sweat.

Ray stopped talking, focusing purely on his breathing and where he was placing his feet. Before he knew it, the stopwatch beeped again and Sebastian slowly brought them back down to a walk.

“So, do you still play online with that rabbit guy?” Inquired Sebastian as Ray regulated his breathing.

After a moment, Ray replied, “Oh, Bunny? Yeah, we play all the time. He was just texting me an hour ago, actually. I play different games with him though.”

“Oh! You were texting him?” Sebastian asked with a raised eyebrow. “Isn’t that kinda weird? You don’t even really know the guy after all.”

“What? Sure I do.” Ray replied, “We’ve been playing together and talking for years. I think I know him pretty well!”

“I mean yeah, I guess,” Sebastian remarked, “But,” Sebastian paused, contemplating his next words, “You don’t even know his real name or what he looks like. Right?”

“I suppose.” Conceded Ray, “But we enjoy each others company. Isn’t that all that matters in a friendship?”

“I guess, but how do you know he’s not, like, a 40-year-old man looking to take advantage of you?” Sebastian teased.

“Hey!”

The brothers laughed as the stopwatch beeped again.

 

~o~O~o~
 

And so they went, talking and teasing each other as they walked and ran around the neighbor hood. Before Ray knew it, an hour had gone by and they were arriving back at home.

“Okay Squirt,” Sebastian began, “You did great today, but that was just the beginning. We have a long way to go yet, and exercise is just half the battle.”

“Hey boys!” Their mother said, interrupting their conversation as she pulled up in her car and rolled the window down. “What are you two up to?” she inquired. Sebastian was normally outside at this hour, but Ray usually just stayed up in his room, playing games or reading.

“Oh, me and Ray were just out for a run.” Sebastian said, playing it off like it was no big deal.

“Ray and I.” Ray corrected.

“Oh shut-up.” Said Sebastian, playfully smacking the back of Ray’s head.

All three of them laughed at this, but Catalina found the idea of Raymond outside his sanctum, VOLUNTARILY, shocking.

Raymond? Out for a run?

“Well you two had best go get showered. I don’t want to have to smell two sweaty teenagers at dinner.”

“Yes ma’am” they chorused simultaneously, prompting more laughter.

 

~o~O~o~
 

After getting out of the shower and drying off, Sebastian called Ray into his room.

“Okay, so as I was saying outside, exercise is only half the battle.” Sebastian said, picking up from where he had left off, “The other half is-

“Food.” Ray finished for him.

“Exactly. You need to watch what you eat. That’s why I called you in here. I wanted to have this talk before dinner.” Sebastian explained, “Now you don’t have to starve yourself, you don’t even really need to go on a diet. You just need to make smarter food choices, and learn portion control. At dinner tonight, don’t over do it. As you eat, be mindful of your stomach. When you feel comfortable, stop. Then, just try not to have any other snacks tonight.”

Ray nodded. All of that seemed fair.

“Ray.” Sebastian said, suddenly serious, “If you can do what we just talked about, and if we keep exercising every day like we did today, then I guarantee you we will see results by the end of the school year. Then, in the summer, we can go to the lake. Every day. I know your love of the water isn’t limited to the rain, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Sebastian continued, “Swimming is another great source of exercise. By the end of the summer, you could look completely different.”

Ray’s heart began to beat. This. This was what he wanted. He could do it. He would do it.

Seeing the determination in his brother’s eyes, Sebastian clasped him on the shoulder. “Alright then. Let’s go eat.”

 

~o~O~o~
 

That night, at dinner, Ray carefully filled his plate with each item, looking over at Sebastian for approval as he did so. Sebastian mostly nodded, but gave the smallest shake of his head at the amount of meat Ray initially grabbed. Ray adjusted the amount, and Sebastian nodded his approval.

“Alright. What’s going on with you two?” Their sister Evalyn inquired suspiciously as they all sat down at the table.

“Oh, why whatever do you mean my dear little sister?” asked Sebastian, maybe a little too innocently.

“You two have acted weird from the moment you got home from school.” Exclaimed Evalyn, eyeing her brothers slyly, “I wanna know what you’re up too.”

“Why would you think we’re up to anything my dear big sister?” asked Ray, imitating his older brother’s innocent tone of voice.

This elicited a round of laughter from the family.

“If you must know,” Began Raymond, “Not that it’s any of your business” he continued teasingly, causing Evalyn to roll her eyes, “I’ve asked Seb to help me get in shape.”

Evalyn squealed joyfully, “Oh I’m so happy to hear that! My friends are already always asking about my ‘hunky older brother’, I can’t wait for them to start asking about my ‘dreamy younger brother’ too!” She said excitedly.

The family laughed some more.

“Dreamy?” Sebastian inquired with a raised eyebrow, “Why is he dreamy and I’m hunky? Hunky make’s it sound like I have no brains.”

“Well Seb,” Evalyn began, “He’ll be dreamy because of how quiet and mysterious he is, a lone wolf, spending his time reading books and making beautiful art!” it was beginning to sound like she was describing a character from a romance novel, “and Seb? maybe the reason it sounds like you have no brains it because you really DON’T have any brains.” She finished.

More laughter from all.

“Beautiful art?” Sebastian retorted, “How would you know? He doesn’t show any one! They could be hideous for all you know.”

“He doesn’t need to.” Evalyn replied smartly, “Every semester his art teacher says that he’s years ahead of the rest of his class, and that the only thing he could really improve on would be being more generous about who he shares his work with. With comments like that anything he makes MUST be beautiful”

Sebastian nodded grudgingly. He didn’t have any comeback to that as he knew it was true. He had seen Ms. Mira’s comments.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Eva,” Raymond replied after everyone had calmed down, “But you’re exaggerating.”

“What make’s you say that?” His older sister asked sincerely, “I’m not kidding Ray, if you lose a bit of the baby fat you’ll be really handsome! Combined with your absolutely gorgeous hair? Women will be all over you. It’ll do wonders for my popularity.” She finished jokingly.

“Gorgeous hair?” Ray asked incredulously, “You’ve gotta be pulling my leg now, my hair is hideous.”

“WHAT?!” Evalyn gasped dramatically, “How could you SAY that? I am, like, SO jealous of your hair. It’s such a unique color, and ugh,” she moaned, “It’s soooo healthy and naturally straight. I spend soooo much time ironing my hair. Achieving this look isn't easy...” She said, flicking her hair back off her shoulder for effect.

The rest of the family chuckled at her antics.

“What?” she asked, “I’m serious. Your hair is beautiful.”

Ray smiled, “Well thanks I guess.”

Maybe he had been wrong about his hair all along. Maybe it had just been his insecurities telling him it was ugly. Evalyn wasn’t usually one to lie to someone to make them feel better.

“You really just need to start doing something with it.” She continued.

“Doing something?” Ray asked, unsure of what she meant.

“Yeah lil’ bro!” she continued to elaborate, “You always leave it just hanging around your face, all loosey-goosey, it’s always covering your eyes, which are also beautiful if I might add, you should really try tying it back in a pony tail, or a man-bun, or oooooh ooooooh a braid! You would look GREAT with a braid!”

“A braid?” he asked sceptically, unsure if he liked where this was going, “Aren’t braids just for little girls?”

“I think,” his mom began, joining in on the conversation, “That a man with long hair looks great in a braid. They are most certainly not just for little girls. In fact,” she continued, turning to look at their father mischievously, “Your father’s braid was one of the things that attracted me to him.”

“WAIT WHAT?” Sebastian exclaimed, “DAD HAD LONG HAIR?!”

Jameson just groaned and face palmed, “Why did you have to bring that up? It was a long time ago. We were in college, everyone had long hair then.”

Everyone except Jameson found this hilarious. He looked back up at his kids and wife with annoyance. With all of them laughing so hard, he couldn’t help but smile and join in.

After everyone had calmed down and taken a few more bites of their meals, the conversation began to pick up again.

“After dinner,” Evalyn began between bites, “You're coming up to my room,” she said, pointing at Raymond. “We’re gonna see what we can do with your hair to make it look FABULOUS.”

An invite to enter his sister’s sacred domain? That was rare. As varied as their interests were, Ray and Evalyn rarely spent any time together.

“Okay,” he agreed, “But I can’t be too long. I have some homework I still need to finish.”

That brought a smile to his parents’ faces.

“All joking aside though, Ray,” his father began, “I can’t tell you how happy me and your mother are to see you putting more of an effort into your studies.”

Everyone was looking at Ray expectantly as he swallowed his food, cleared his throat, and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“I believe, Father,” Ray began, in as serious a voice as he could muster, “That you meant to say, ‘Your mother and I’”

“Oh you little smartass!” his father exclaimed as the family broke into another fit of laughter

 

~o~O~o~
 

A short time later Ray found himself following Evalyn up the stairs, past his own room, and into hers. She kept her door closed at all times, claiming that “A girl needs her privacy”. Ray couldn’t remember the last time she invited him in, but sure enough, she opened her door and ushered him inside, motioning for him to take a seat in front of her vanity.

Her room was very... pink. He tried not to gawk too much, but he couldn’t help but notice how different it was from his own room. Her windows actually had curtains, which she had opened just enough to allow the first rays of light to shine through every morning. Her bed was tidily made, and her floor was completely clear. In the corner of the room stood a hamper for clothes, with a lacy pink bra hanging over the edge.

Seeing his sister’s intimates, Ray immediately felt uncomfortable. He could not deny, however, that he felt a strange curiosity at the sight. He took a seat at her vanity, as told, glad he wouldn’t have to see the lingerie. He looked at himself in the mirror, wondering what she was going to do to make his hair look ‘fabulous’ as she had said. He immediately noticed that he could clearly see the bra in the mirror over his right shoulder.

His sister in the mean time had grabbed a hairbrush and some hair ties, and was pulling up a stool to sit behind him.

He occupied himself with looking at all the different vials and bottles all over the vanity, wondering what purpose each of them served.

His sister began to brush his hair. He had brushed it that morning, as he always did, but over the course of the day some tangles and knots had inevitably formed. His sister gently but firmly worked them out, all the while gushing about how beautiful his hair was. He was actually starting to believe that he had been wrong. He still didn’t think his hair was as beautiful as she claimed, but it certainly wasn’t as ugly as he had thought either. Soon she was parting his hair into three separate strands, and soon began weaving them back and forth, moment’s later she had drawn his hair into its first ever braid.

“Hmmmm,” she mused, scrutinizing her work, “It looks good, but it’d look even better if your hair was longer.” She decided, and quickly began unraveling her work, “Maybe we’ll try again in a few more months.” Next, she tried putting it in a man-bun. The problem with that was that his hair was so fine and straight it kept just slipping undone. Finally, she tried a simple ponytail while mumbling something about how boring ponytails were. It wasn’t what she had wanted to do, but the ponytail served its purpose and pulled Ray’s hair out of his eyes.

It felt… weird. Not having his face surrounded by his hair. It was kind of freeing, but it also made Ray very self-conscious, something that wasn’t a big deal at home, but could be at school.

After promising her he’d consider wearing one to school, Evalyn banished Ray from his short stay in the realm of femininity.

Returning to his room, he sat down at his desk, so different from the vanity, and looked around his room. Where curtains framed his sister's window, he had plain white blinds that were perpetually kept down, keeping the sunlight out. His own bed was a mess that he rarely made, preferring to just crawl in and out each morning, no matter what state it was in. While laundry, books, papers, and video game cases littered his floor, hers had been spotless.

He had never really thought about it before, but his room seemed rather shabby in comparison to hers. Despite having very little in common with his athletic older brother, Ray’s room actually looked akin to Sebastian’s, which struck him as odd.

He turned his attention back to his homework. Considering he had actually made an effort to pay attention in his classes that day, the assignment seemed much simpler then usual and he had it done in half an hour. Checking the time, Ray noted it was only 7:45, and he had some time to kill before bed. He pulled out his phone and shot Bunny a text message.

You still online?

A moment later his phone buzzed.

Had 2 go 4 din. I’ll b back soon tho.

Okay cool, talk to you then.

Ray replied, booting up his Xbox. He stood up and began to clean his room, putting games and books on his bookshelf, and papers in a neat pile on his desk. He didn’t have a hamper or basket for his clothes, so he decided that tossing them in one pile would have to do for now. He had made a bit of progress when his TV pinged, and a small message popped up notifying him that KiLLerBuNNy was online and would like to play.

Raymond sat down on the floor, leaning against his bed, picked up his controller, and booted up Borderlands 2. Putting on his headset he heard the familiar ever-cheerful voice of Bunny, “RaynyDayz! Ma man! How’s the weather?!”

Smiling, Ray replied, “Despite the clear skies, it’s been a good day Bunny. A really good day.”

A short time later Ray was completely immersed in the wild world of Pandora, the wasteland planet in which the game took place.

 

~o~O~o~
 

The next few weeks went by relatively peacefully. In fact, they were two of the best weeks of Ray's school year, he mused. He continued running every night with Sebastian. They raised the difficulty the second week, opting for a repeating pattern of walk 5, jog 3. Ray was even starting to enjoy their runs; it had quickly become one of the highlights of his day. His sister even convinced him to wear his hair in a ponytail one day. Only one day though, as it seemed to attract some attention, and that was the last thing he wanted.

He was already noticing changes. Just in the way he felt. He was still miserable in gym class; it just wasn’t the same with Mr. McMan. Sebastian motivated him to keep going through their mutual love for each other and their bond as siblings. Mr. McMan tried to motivate him through shame and humiliation. Art Class continued as his favorite class, but he was finding that all the time he had spent reading books hadn’t been as much of a waste as some people had said. Now that he was paying attention and doing his homework, his English Literature class was becoming a breeze. He was even beginning to get all his English and Math homework done in school.

In art, Ms. Mira had told the rest of the class about the art gallery event. While many students feigned interest in the idea of making some easy money off of their school work, Ms. Mira made it perfectly clear that she wouldn’t make a recommendation for just anyone, and that they would need to truly impress her. The students began competing to see who could earn a recommendation first. So far, no one in the 8th grade other than Ray had. Ms. Mira had posted a list on the wall of her recommendations for each grade, much to Ray’s annoyance. Several of the other art students kept pestering him, requesting to see his work so they could gauge the level of standard they would have to meet. Some asked if he would help them on their own work. Two even had the nerve to ask if they could submit his work as their own! Of course, he had refused all of their requests. After all, why should he help any of them? They had never shown an interest in being his friend before. Why had these people who had shunned Ray for so long suddenly befriended him? The fact they just wanted to use him, like so many others had done to get close to Sebastian or Evalyn in the past, was quite clear in his mind. Ms. Mira thought the situation rather amusing, or at least she did until she caught some students trying to sneak into Ray’s art locker. Suffice to say, those students would never be so foolish as to try such a thing again.

Finally, Friday arrived. Ray was looking forward to getting home and getting his homework done. Then he would have the weekend to himself! It had been a few weeks now since he had found himself with a free weekend. He wasn’t planning on wasting this one! He knew that there was a family outing happening on Sunday, but Saturday, at least, he could do whatever he wanted.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Arriving home around 4:00, Ray went about his usual routine, climbing the stairs to his room and putting his bag on his desk. Rather than pull out his school books, however, he booted up his Xbox and went to see who was online. Not surprisingly, Bunny was there. He almost always was at this time of day.

After a sending a quick invitation to chat, Bunny’s voice rang through the headset.

“Hey Rayny! How’s the weather?!” came the customary greeting.

Soon the two were having a casual conversation as they slaughtered bandits and alien monsters alike.

“Sooooo,” Bunny began, hesitating slightly, “My father received a promotion at work.”

“Oh yeah?” Ray replied, finding the comment odd as the two rarely spoke in detail about their families. He knew that Bunny was an only child, but he didn’t know what his father’s promotion had to do with him.

“Yeah, apparently, we’re moving this summer or shortly after.”

There was a long pause.

As they had never really met, one might think that neither would care about such a move, but a big part of their online friendship relied on the fact that they lived in the same time zone. The ramifications of moving might make it very difficult to meet online, and both teenagers realized that fact.

“Where to?” Ray inquired. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe he was just moving a few states over and they’d still be able to play fairly regularly.

“I don’t know yet. But it would likely be an international move. Could be somewhere overseas.”

So much for that hope.

“O-oh. I see.” Ray replied, his good mood crushed.

The duo went back to the game for a while, an awkward silence hanging over them. Before long Ray heard the front door open and close, signaling his brother’s arrival home from whatever sport he had played with his friends that day.

“RAY,” he called, “You ready for our run?”

“Hey, sorry Bunny,” Ray said, breaking the silence, “but I gotta go for a bit. Will you be on later?”

“You know it Rayny!” came his friend's voice, the usual cheerfulness creeping back in, “and hey, when I find out where we’re moving you’ll be the first to know.”

“Okay, cool.” Ray said, ending the conversation as he shut down the system.

 

~o~O~o~
 

The rest of the night went peacefully, Ray and Sebastian went for their run, and, pleased with his progress, Sebastian announced that starting the next week they would move up to jogging for 4 minutes at a time. Upon arriving home, they had an early dinner, with the family discussing Sunday's plans.

On Sunday, they would be making the two-hour drive to Vancouver, where they would have a large family dinner with their grandparents, aunt, and uncles. Some of their cousins would likely even be there. It was uncommon to see the entire family together in one place at the same time, so they liked to take advantage of it when they could.

Saturday passed uneventfully, and before Ray knew it, he was crawling out of bed on Sunday to get ready for the long drive. At Evalyn’s insistence he tied his hair back in a ponytail after breakfast, and soon the five of them had all piled into his father’s van and they were on their way.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Pulling up to their grandparents’ house, the family eagerly exited the van and took a much-needed stretch. Together, they walked up to the door. Evalyn was reaching for the door when it opened, their grandmother, who had clearly been watching for them, had a huge smile on her face.

“Oh, there they are!” She announced eagerly, spreading her arms wide for a hug from each of them, before ushering them in.

“Looking ravishing as always Evalyn, and you're getting more and more handsome every day Sebastian. And is that little Raymond?! I barely recognized you without your hair in your eyes!” She gushed in greeting.

“Hey Grandma”, the kids said, each thanking her in turn for her compliments.

“Hi Mom” Said Jameson, leaning down to give his mother a hug.

“Hello Olivia” Said Catalina, finally having her chance to embrace her mother in-law.

“Hey kids!” Came a gruff older voice from the next room. Rounding the corner came their grandfather, offering at firm handshake to all the boys, and a hug and a kiss on the cheek to the girls.

“Grandpa!” the kids eagerly greeted their grandfather, Sebastian returning the handshake, and Evalyn the hug and kiss. Ray shook his grandfathers hand, hugging him afterwards as well, to which his grandfather just sort of patted him on the back awkwardly.

Olivia Danahy was an older woman. She had just turned 70, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. She was often told she looked much younger and it was clear that time had favored her. Few would guess that she was actually two years older than her husband. She had dark brown hair that was just starting to grow in grey, and the same bright blue eyes as Jameson and Sebastian, making it clear who they had gotten that trait from. She had worked as a nurse for years and had always kept herself healthy, perhaps that was why she had aged so well. Now she mostly did volunteer work, if anything.

Frank Danahy was a tall man with wide shoulders. After retiring from construction, where he had worked his whole life, he had the smallest hunch to his back. He had once kept himself clean-shaven, but as he had grown older he had slacked off a bit and could usually be seen with some stubble. He had short grey hair, brown eyes, and wrinkles around his eyes and at the edges of his lips from a lifetime spent smiling and laughing.

“Come in come in,” Olivia ushered, “Give me your coats. I’ll hang them up. Your Aunt Lisa and Uncle John will arrive shortly, and your Uncle Frank just stepped out for some drinks for you kids.”

“Are JR and Billy coming too? How about Lizzie and Mac?” Sebastian asked. They hadn’t seen their cousins since Christmas.

“Lizzie and Mackenzie will be arriving with your Aunt and Uncle, as for the boys… No, they’re not coming.” Answered Frank, eliciting a frown of disappointment from Sebastian, “Because they’re already here!” he finished with a laugh.

He pointed to the window, and sure enough, their cousins could be seen wrestling in the backyard.

Sebastian, of course, immediately headed out to see them. Evalyn and Raymond followed behind, less enthusiastic than their older brother, but still happy nonetheless.

As they walked out the door, they couldn’t help but laugh as the brothers tackled Sebastian to the ground. He was older and stronger than either of them, but together, the two of them could give him a challenge. Soon the sounds of laughter filled the air.

Finally, they let Sebastian up, and turned their eyes on Raymond. Clearly planning the same thing, they ran towards him, only for him to duck behind his older sister.

“Heeeey.” She complained, “Aren’t you suppose to protect your sister?”

“Haha, Ray’s hiding behind a giiiiiiirl” one of the boys teased, the other echoing him a moment later. The various comments caused Ray to blush furiously.

“C’mon guys, knock it off,” interjected a still smiling Sebastian. “You should know by now that Ray doesn’t play as rough as you guys.”

After some grumbling, they admitted that they knew what Sebastian had said was true, and, imitating their Grandfather, offered a handshake in greeting instead of a tackle.

Evalyn, of course, demanded hugs.

JR and Billy were 11-year-old twin boys, just a few years younger than Raymond. JR was older by a minute, and as the eldest son of the eldest son, had inherited the name Frank. Having an Uncle Frank and a Grandpa Frank was confusing enough as it was, so everyone had always simply called the youngest of the three Junior. As Junior had gotten older, however, he had started insisting that everyone call him JR as he considered ‘Junior’ to be too babyish. Both of the twins loved sports, pro-wrestling particularly now, and always wanted to try to pull off the moves, usually just on each other. If either Sebastian or Ray were around, however, they instantly became the new target.

Evalyn and Ray sat down on the patio as their big brother was once again tackled to the ground. Sebastian never seemed to mind though; on the contrary, he seemed to love it. As much as he loved his cousins and older brother, seeing Sebastian having so much fun with them always bothered Ray. It always made him wonder if his big brother would have been happier if he had someone other than Raymond for a younger brother. Sure, the two of them had always gotten along, but they had so little in common. Sebastian loved athletics- there was nothing he’d rather do, while Ray, on the other hand, would rather do just about anything else. There were a few times- when Ray was younger- that Sebastian had taken him out and tried to teach him how to catch or hit a baseball, as older brothers tend to do with younger brothers. Raymond had never really enjoyed it, but he had always idolized his brother and would happily tag along, even if he never seemed any good at whatever his brother showed him.

A moment later, the sound of the door opening, followed by a loud squeal, pulled Raymond from his thoughts.

Turning to look at the door, he identified the source of the noise.

“RAAAAAAAAY!” Screamed his little cousin Lizzie, flying towards him, arms spread wide to deliver a big hug, or at least as big of a hug as a 5-year-old girl could muster.

She slammed into him, wrapping her arms around him in an embrace that he happily returned. Behind her, her older sister Mackenzie strolled casually to the deck.

“C’mon Lizzie,” she said, sounding annoyed, “Leave Raymond alone. You’re bothering him.”

Mackenzie Robertson was 15 years old, and had an attitude. She had the same height that ran in the family, and her father’s bright blond hair and blue eyes. She always acted like she was superior to all of her cousins, and Ray couldn’t remember a time when she had gotten along with any of them.

Elizabeth “Lizzie” Robertson was the complete opposite. Always happy to see everyone, with an infectious smile that she never seemed to leave home without. She had the same blond hair as her sister- done up in pigtails- and pretty blue eyes.

At Mackenzie’s comment, Lizzie’s eyes filled with tears.

“No I’m not!” She called out angrily before looking up at Ray with her big blue eyes, “Am I?”

“Of course you’re not!” Ray said sternly as he straightened his glasses and pulled Lizzie to his lap, “How could my favorite baby cousin EVER be a bother?” he finished dramatically, as if it were the most serious question in the world.

Lizzie giggled at that before looking back at her sister, “See?” she said, “I’m Rayrays FAVORITE baby cousin.” She said proudly.

“You’re his only baby cousin.” Came Mackenzie’s snarky reply, but by then she had already been forgotten about as her little sister showed off her new dress to Ray, “Whatever.” She finished with a huff before taking a seat and pulling out her phone.

The afternoon carried on much the same way. Sebastian wrestled with the Twins. Evalyn and Ray rained attention on Lizzie. Mackenzie texted away on her phone, only looking up now and again to give one of her cousins a dirty look for some imagined slight. Before they knew it, the back door opened, summoning them all to dinner.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Inside the house, someone had set up a folding table out and pulled it up next to the dining table to accommodate everyone at the gathering. Walking into the house, holding Lizzie’s hand at her insistence of course, Ray spotted his Aunt.

“Hi Aunt Lisa! Where’s Uncle John?” He asked, letting go of Lizzie’s hand for a moment to give his Aunt a hug.

“Hello Ray, it’s so good to see you.” She replied before rolling her eyes, “Oh you know him, always working. He said he'd come tonight, but apparently, there was a problem in the office that only he could fix, so it’s just me and the girls tonight.”

Lisa Robertson was Jameson’s younger sister. She had married her college sweetheart as soon as they graduated and he had wasted no time diving right into the world of investment banking. Ray didn’t understand much of what his Uncle John did, but he knew he did well. Lisa hadn't needed to work in years. It seemed like a waste to him, as she was a smart woman with a degree in accounting. Lisa was one of the shorter members of the family; she had the same golden brown hair as his father- which she kept shoulder length- and gray eyes, a rarity in their family.

A moment later his Uncle Frank came around the corner, engrossed in a deep conversation with Raymond’s father. He nodded a greeting to Raymond, but didn’t stop talking.

Frank Danahy the second was only a year older than Jameson, and the two were similar in many ways. They had the same build, and the same hair, with the same blue eyes. When they were younger they had often been mistaken for each other. Now the main difference was that Jameson was more fit, as he had been a volunteer firefighter for years, and Frank a had light beard and mustache, whereas Jameson was clean-shaven. His wife had died giving birth to the twins, he had raised the boys on his own, not having dated since his wife. Whether that was because he lacked time or interest Raymond wasn’t sure. He worked as the store manager of a Walmart in Vancouver.

Finishing what he had said, Uncle Frank clapped his hands together, “Alrighty then, have we figured out seating arrangements?”

Lizzie immediately piped up, “I wanna sit with Raymin!”

Everyone either smiled or chuckled at the little girl, except Mackenzie of course, who just rolled her eye’s and took a seat at the far end of the table.

Everyone quickly found their places, as Olivia and Catalina brought out the food. Soon everyone had served themselves- Ray helped Lizzie with hers- and dinner commenced.

At first everyone had their own conversations with whomever was sitting nearest, but soon Grandpa and Grandma decided that they wanted to hear what all of their grandchildren had been up to. Sebastian told them about the various sports teams he was on or planned to be on in the fall, Evalyn about her school work and the various careers she was considering. JR and Billie blabbed about all the wrestling moves they knew. Mackenzie barely looked up from her phone to say, “just school and stuff.”, and Lizzie, bubbly as usual, told the family all about kindergarten and each of her classmates. Grandma and Grandpa intently listened to every word from every grandchild.

Dinner was wrapping up when Olivia finally asked, “And what about you Ray?”

“Oh, you know. Just school and stuff.” He answered, hoping to get away with it as Mackenzie had.

He wasn’t so lucky however, as his Grandpa pushed, always taking more of an interest in his grandsons, “Oh? What kind of stuff?”

“Well, uh, I’ve started running with Sebastian every day.” He began, trying to come up with something that would satisfy his grandparents curiosity.

“What about in school?” his Grandma asked, “Thinking of trying out for any sports teams in the fall? Any clubs?”

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Interrupted Evalyn, grabbing everyone’s attention. Ray relaxed for a moment, believing himself saved and the pressure off.

“I totally forgot to tell you!” Evalyn gushed, looking at their parents, “On Friday at school, I was in the art room, helping one of my friends from the student council make posters, and I overheard some students talking! An art gallery in Mountsview has shown an interest in Ray’s work.”

Aaaaaand pressure back on.

This got everyone’s attention. Even Mackenzie looked up from her phone.

“Art?” asked Grandpa Frank sceptically, one eyebrow raised.

“I didn’t know you were an artist!” Said Grandma excitedly.

“O-oh, well uh, I dabble a bit I guess.” Ray said, trying to play it off. “It’s really not that big of a deal. The art gallery isn’t even really interested yet. They're holding a talented youth event.” He explained, “I’ve only made it through the first step, getting recommended by my teacher.

“Dabble? Not a big deal?” Evalyn questioned, “Stop selling yourself short Ray! You’re one of only 3 students in our whole school to have been recommended by Ms. Mira so far, and the other two are in grade 12, and planning to go to an art school after graduation.”

“Ray! Congratulations! Why didn’t we hear about this sooner?!” asked Mom excitedly.

Ray gave his sister a dirty look, “I dunno, I hadn’t decided whether I wanted to do it or not yet.”

“Why wouldn’t ya want to do it?” Grandpa asked, still skeptical about his grandson being an artist, “If you do something good ya deserve recognition for it.” He finished adamantly.

“Well, Grandpa.” Evalyn began, answering for Ray when he hesitated, much to his annoyance, “Ray doesn’t like showing his artwork to people- he hasn’t even shown a single piece to the family yet!”

“Well why not?” Grandpa asked.

“Well, uh, umm, ya see” Ray stammered, trying to think of a good reason without saying that it made him uncomfortable and potentially offend someone.

“Oh. I know why.” his grandfather said, nodding his head wisely.

“Y-you do?” Ray asked, confused.

“You’ve been painting nude woman haven’t ya?!” he said with a big laugh.

All the men around the table laughed, the woman just rolled their eyes, Ray blushed, but figured letting them think that was better than potentially offending anyone.

“What’s a nude?” Asked Lizzie, trying desperately to keep up with the conversation.

This brought another round of laughter.

Ray didn’t know what to say, one again, Evalyn was there to speak for him.

“No way Grandpa, my little brother isn’t some weird perv. He’s just a little shy is all.”

“Shy?” Grandpa said sarcastically, “Shyness is for women and little girls.”

“Frank, your embarrassing him.” His grandmother came to his rescue, swatting his Grandfathers arm to shut him up.

“I, for one, think it’s wonderful that we finally have an artist in the family,” she continued. “And whenever you’re ready to share your work with us, Raymond, we would love to see it. I’m sure it’ll be beautiful.”

Ray just nodded, glad that his turn to talk was over. He went back to his food, and soon the meal was wrapping up.

“Well,” Uncle Frank said, clapping his hands together as he was known to do, “How about we head down to the park and get a good ol’ game of football going!”

The men and boys all agreed excitedly- or most of them did at least. Ray just gave his customary heavy sigh, trying not to make his lack of enthusiasm too obvious.

“Excuse me?” Interjected Grandma, “What makes you think you don’t have to help clean up?”

“O-oh,” Stammered Uncle Frank, having been taken off guard, “Uh, sorry Mom. I mean, I guess we can do that first.”

Grandma rolled her eyes, “Oh! You boys go have your fun. We’ll take care of this in no time, right girls?”

Catalina and Lisa agreed immediately, Evalyn groaned, and Mackenzie just flat-out refused. Little Lizzie jumped right to her feet, “Yeah! No time!” she announced excitedly.

“Oh I’ll help too!” said Ray, starting to collect dishes

“Well that’s sweet of you honey, but you don’t have to. Go join in on the game.” his Grandma announced.

“Nah, Grandma. It’s only right that I help clean up after you slaved away making us an amazing dinner. Besides,” he said convincingly, “There’s seven of us. If I go, we won’t have even teams.”

“Oh, well your grandfather won’t mind sitting and watching,” she said, trying to get him to go.

Ray really didn’t want to go, but at this point was beginning to believe he wouldn’t be getting out of it. Then rescue came from the most unexpected of places.

“Grama, why do you want Raymin to leave?” asked Lizzie sadly, tears beginning to pool in her little eyes.

“O-oh, well of course I don’t want him to leave,” she said, taken off guard by the little girl. “I just thought he might have more fun with the boys than with us.” she explained, trying to make the little girl understand.

“You mean Raymin doesn’t have fun with me?” she asked in a tiny voice, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Oh no, of course not sweet pea,” Grandma said, rushing to console the little girl, “Of course Ray can stay here with us. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of fun either way.”

“You really mean it?” Lizzie asked, hugging their Grandma.

“Of course, she does Lizzie,” Ray said, “In fact, there is no one here I would rather spend my time with than you.”

After that little scene, there was no way they could refuse Raymond’s help.

With the little girl smiling again, soon all the woman and girls of the house, plus Raymond, and minus Mackenzie who sat on the couch texting, were puttering around the kitchen and dining room. Eventually Grandma dismissed Evalyn, Ray, and Lizzie, telling them to go relax.

Soon Lizzie began to complain about being bored, but as this was their grandparents house, there wasn’t much in the way of entertainment for a little girl, so Ray came up with an idea after spotting his Grandma’s latest romance novel.

“Lizzie? Do you see that book over there? The one on the coffee table? If you go grab it for me, I’ll read to you!”

“Really?!” Lizzie asked in utter amazement, “Mackenzie NEVER reads to me!”

“Really.” Ray said, “You can even FLIP the pages.”

The little girl ran off to get the book after excitedly telling her mommy that Ray was going to read to her.

Soon Ray was sitting outside on the patio with his little cousin sitting on his lap and flipping the pages for him when he prompted her. He didn’t think Lizzie even understood what was happening in the book, but she was having fun, and that was all that really mattered at the moment.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Frank was disappointed that his grandson Raymond hadn’t come to join. That boy really needed to man up a bit. Regardless they had a good fun game. They had decided to have all three generations of Frank take on Sebastian, Billy, and Jameson.

Initially Billy had been upset with the teams, saying how he wanted to play on his Dad and Grandpa’s team, and it was unfair that JR had become the new Frank just because he was a minute older.

Sebastian quickly cheered him up, and he was even happier after the game. The older generations of Franks just couldn’t keep up with Sebastian, a star football player, and Jameson, a volunteer fire fighter. The game was almost completely one-sided.

Now they were arriving back at the house. On the way home, Frank had grilled Jameson a bit, asking if he was okay with the way Raymond acted all the time. Art? He needed to spend more time on the football field with his brother!

“I admit that Raymond has some issues, but really, as long as he’s happy, then I’m happy.”

That was all Jameson would say on the subject.

Walking in the door, Frank called out, “Olivia?”

Receiving no answer, he tried another name, “Lisa? Catalina?”

Still nothing. He looked at his sons and grandsons in confusion. “Where is everyone?”

They all just shrugged. After walking through the house and looking out the dining room window he spotted the rest of his family, all gathered together on the patio.

Opening the door, Frank spoke, “Olivia, what are-

“Shhhh” his wife interrupted him, before pointing to one of the patio chairs.

Raymond sat in the chair reading aloud quietly, Lizzie fast asleep in his lap.

He whispered to Jameson, “See, that’s exactly what I mean. You would’ve never read a sappy romance novel to Lisa when you were kids! Are you really okay with this son?”

“it’s a different generation now Dad,” Jameson said quietly, “And Ray’s had a rough time of it. If he’s happier reading and doing art than he is playing football, then hell yeah. I’m okay with it.”

Frank just shook his head.

 

~o~O~o~
 

A short time later everyone said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. While it wasn’t that late, some of them had long drives to make, and the kids all had school in the morning.

The last few months of school went by uneventfully. Ray continued to run with his brother and to eat healthier. He lost weight, and soon even the other kids at school were noticing the changes. Ray grew more confident in himself, and started regularly wearing his hair in a ponytail. He didn’t feel like he needed to hide behind it anymore. Derek Pilsing, the bully, tried to mess with him a few more times over the last few months, but he made the mistake of doing so during lunch when Evalyn was nearby. After being publicly told off and humiliated by one of the most popular girls in the school, and then receiving a menacing glare from Sebastian, he finally backed off for good.

Even Mr. McMan started giving Ray a break when he saw the changes. He actually tried to take credit for motivating Ray to change, and while it bothered Ray, he was just happy the man had stopped picking on him.

In art class Ray continued his secrecy about his work. The art gallery event had given him the inspiration for a series of 5 pieces, each done in varying mediums. He still had no plans to enter the event- he just liked his idea and had decided to go through with bringing it into the world.

Between keeping up with his studies and everything else, Ray had little free time, but he always made time to play online with Bunny, usually for about an hour a day. He also finally beat the boss from his other game. What little free time that remained he spent either reading or working on his art.

Frankly, he had amazed his family with his drastic turn-around. In the matter of a few months Ray seemed to have done a complete 180. On his last report card of the year, he did better than he had ever done before. He still wasn’t up to where his family wanted, but it was clear he would get there sooner or later. Probably sooner.

Summer finally arrived, to the great relief of the kids. They were all eager for some downtime. As Sebastian had promised, in addition to their daily runs, the brothers began going down to the lake every day, or at least almost every day. Evalyn even joined them on occasion. Between swimming and running Ray’s body was rapidly undergoing a metamorphosis. He still wasn’t nearly at his brother or father’s level, but the assholes at school certainly wouldn’t be able to call him chubby anymore.

One thing that Ray found very off was his figure and facial features. As he lost weight, he had expected the wide shoulders and strong face that seemed to run in his family’s men to show itself in him, but it hadn’t. In fact, as his face had lost its baby fat his features ended up looking a bit delicate. When he asked his sister, she informed him, straight up, that he did, in fact, look a bit androgynous- but that it wasn’t a bad thing, she stated- and that he would be a real charmer with women. This didn’t help his discomfort. He had been so sure that by getting his body in better shape he would be able to get over his feeling of being trapped, and while he was a lot happier, he still couldn’t shake that feeling of wrongness. Maybe this was just how everybody felt? He tried not to dwell on the feeling too much, but sometimes he couldn’t help it. The rest of his family always seemed so comfortable in their bodies.

As the summer progressed, Evalyn even started teaching him to drive, with their parents’ permission of course. He wouldn’t be able to get his licence for another year yet, but if he started now he could be ready. His parents did, however, tell him that if he did get his licence he would have to buy his own vehicle and pay his own insurance during the summer months. Evalyn and Sebastian had both done the same through summer jobs. Catalina and Jameson didn’t mind paying their insurance through the school year, as they would prefer the kids focus on their studies. In the summer, however, they were on their own.

That ultimatum was what got Ray truly thinking about the art gallery. He might be able to make a few hundred dollars from his work- if he was lucky, and he really wouldn’t mind parting with some of his pieces. While simply looking at them was nice and all, for Ray it was really the process he enjoyed. The act of creation, and seeing what he could produce. Seeing how he could change paint, pencil, and a blank page or piece of canvas into something so much more. Of course, to enter the art gallery he would have to get over his shyness. That was a whole new challenge in and of itself, but he could cross that bridge when he came to it. The first step was just earning his place in the gallery.

Thankfully, he had brought the pieces he had worked on home with him over the summer, and he threw a few hours into them each day. Before long two more were added to the five-piece series that would be his portfolio for the event. The first piece was the drawing of the old man and the grim reaper that he had originally shown Ms. Mira and that had started this whole thing. It only seemed fitting to include it, and after much deliberation, he had come up with a title as Ms. Mira had asked. He called it ‘Patiently Waiting’. He had yet to come up with titles for the other two but he was sure it would come to him eventually.

As he still needed two more, he had to ask someone in the family to give him a ride to an art supply store. This, of course, tipped his family off about what he had been up to with the long hours in his room. Despite clearly being eager to see what he had been working on, his family respected his privacy and didn’t pressure him. Not for the first time he was very thankful that he had such an understanding family.

He and Bunny continued to talk and play on an almost daily basis. Bunny still didn’t know where his family would be moving. Apparently, his father’s company had taken their time setting things up and were even letting his father choose a preferred location from a small list.

Before they knew it, the summer was over and another year of school was about to begin.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Ray let out a deep, apprehensive sigh. He was nervous. How could he not be? It was his first day of grade 9- his first day of High School. Sure, he was still going to the same school, and most of the people would be the same, but it felt different none the less.

“Relax squirt! It’s gonna be great! You’re a new you!” Sebastian reassured him.

“Yeah!” Evalyn chipped in, “People are gonna love your new look!”

He looked down at himself. Besides the changes to his body, his whole sense of style had shifted as well. Before he had always valued comfort over aesthetics, but over the summer Evalyn had shown him that he could look good and still be comfortable. Instead of his customary sweat pants and t-shirts he now wore a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a button up long-sleeved shirt. He wore a light jacket, as fall could be a bit nippy living so close to the mountains, and had a long scarf wrapped around his neck. He liked the scarf, as it reminded him of a video game character. Around his neck was also a new set of headphones. They, along with an IPod, had been a gift from his family for his 14th birthday that summer. They had known he wanted a new headset for gaming but the IPod had been a surprise. They had ensured the headset would be compatible with both his games and the IPod. It had only taken a day for him to get the IPod loaded up with all varieties of music he enjoyed. His long hair had been masterfully weaved into a braid at his sister’s insistence and came to the middle of his back. His sister had even convinced him to give contact lenses a try. He was starting to think she could convince him to jump off a cliff if she wanted to.

He chuckled at his sister’s comment, “C’mon Eva, you know I don’t care much about popularity. I’d rather just lay low and focus on what’s important.”

“Lay low?” Sebastian asked, “looking like that? Unlikely little bro.”

“It’s just like I said,” Evalyn said confidently, “I now have a hunky older brother and a dreamy younger brother.” She turned to walk out the door.

“Hey. Wait a second.” Ray called after her in confusion, “You didn’t insist on this change in look just to prove yourself right did you? Hey I’m talking to you!”

Sebastian just laughed and followed after them. This will be an interesting year, he thought.
 

---

---

 
Hi all.

Flummox here.

First things first, I need to apologize for something. At the end of chapter 2 I said I had a lot of chapters piled up, and would be releasing them twice a week.

Now the very next chapter is arriving late, and I may be altering that schedule. But I promise, it's for a good reason! I have someone who's proofreading each chapter for me now. They wish to remain anonymous, but I believe with this persons help my story will be of a much higher quality.

That's why this chapter was late. Revisions.

So I'm sorry I lied to you all and made you wait, and I hope the increased length and quality of this chapter will convince you to forgive me.

The increase of pace I referred to last time was the two short time lapses that occurred this chapter. Starting in the next chapter is a new school year for Raymond and his family, and in my opinion, where the story really begins.

I also feel the need to bring up another point. Anyone familiar with Canadian drivers licences might be thinking, "Hey! Wait a second Flummox! If Ray just turned 14, he can't get his licence for another two years! Even then it would only be a learners permit! Kids can't get their full licence until the age of 17 in that area of Canada!"

To anyone who might be thinking that, all I can really say is that I've taken a few, uhhhh, artistic liberties. Let's go with that. Hope you don't mind.

Finally, reading your comments and messages lifts my heart and makes my day, so if you've liked the story so far, it would mean the world to me if you left me a comment or messaged me about it!

Thanks, and I hope with all my heart that every single person reading this has a wonderful day.

Flummox

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A Blank Page
Chapter 4
By Flummox

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Raymond watched as Sebastian pulled into the school parking lot and parked his vehicle carefully. His brother and sister sat together in the front seat of his brother’s car, while Ray sat alone in the back. The three students carpooled today, celebrating the beginning of another school year. Sebastian looked forward to being a senior, with all the prestige and perks that honor entailed. Evalyn, always one to love school, relished being back--this year as an upperclassman—a junior.

Ray didn’t quite share his siblings’ excitement. As waves of apprehension washed over Ray, he realized just how much he had changed over the summer. Still, though, he could only imagine how his classmates would react to the new and improved Raymond. Would they approve? He knew he could handle the coursework, and looked forward to being a studious ninth grader. His peers, though - they frightened him more than anything else. Just the mere thought of interacting with them tied his stomach in knots!

Not for the first time that morning, his siblings reassured him and told him to relax. Gathering their bags, the threesome exited the vehicle and began the short walk from the parking lot up to the school. Inside, the halls buzzed with activity, as excited students, eager to see their friends and favorite staff, talked about their summers and just caught up in general.

Wishing Ray good luck, Sebastian and Evalyn quickly said their goodbyes as they disappeared to join the rush of students. Raymond just walked over to one of the many notice boards that had been set up for the first day of school. Finding the notice boards for ninth graders, Ray quickly searched for his name. Finding it, he noted his homeroom, and its teacher. Raymond smiled when he saw that he had Mr. Michaelson. The stern middle aged man had come to his defense last spring. Wasting no time, Raymond set off in the direction of the class.

Ray couldn’t help but notice his classmates' stares. They had begun as soon as he walked into the school, and continued as he headed to homeroom. More than ever before, his classmates were noticing him. He even caught a girl blatantly staring at him, but she turned her head quickly when he met her gaze.

Oh God. He must look ridiculous. That must be why they’re staring.

Uncomfortable, Ray picked up his pace, and soon arrived in front of Mr. Michaelson’s room. Peeking through the doors, he saw that the classroom was still devoid of students. Mr. Michaelson sat behind his desk, peering through his reading glasses at a variety of documents.

Spotting the boy, Mr. Michaelson looked up, removing his reading glasses as he did so.

“Good morning Raymond!” He said cheerfully, “I’m glad to see you’re here on time, but you are aware that homeroom won’t officially start for another half an hour with it being the first day of school. Right?”

“Yeah,” Ray replied, “the halls are just a bit too chaotic for me right now.” He explained, “would it be okay if I just sat down? I won’t be a bother.”

“I believe that would be fine.” Agreed Mr. Michaelson, going back to his paperwork.

Raymond chose a desk at the back of the room, sat down his backpack, and pulled out his latest novel. Before he knew it, other students began to slowly file into the room. He recognized most of them and knew many of their names, although he knew none of them on a personal level.

“Who’s that?” He heard one girl whisper to another, looking right at him, “He’s cute.”

Ray desperately tried to refrain from blushing and pretended not to have heard.

“Wait. Oh my gosh.” He heard her friend gasp in realization, “is that Raymond?!”

“No way.” The first girl replied, “Raymond is fat and gross. That guy’s the complete opposite—he’s beautiful!”

“Who’s Raymond?” A third voice asked.

“You know Sebastian and Evalyn Danahy?” The second voice prompted.

“Well obviously,” the third voice replied, as if it were the most well known fact in the world, “they’re two of the most popular kids at the school. Sebastian is a star athlete, and Evalyn is, like, always the top of her class, and absolutely gorgeous.”

“Exactly.” Came the first voice again, “and Raymond is the complete opposite of both of them. Fat and ugly, with no friends. All he ever did was play video games and read weird books. Sebastian and Evalyn got all the brains and good looks in that family.” She finished with a laugh.

Finally, Ray had had enough. He put his book down and turned to look at the girls.

“Are you fucking serious?” he asked. “You have the nerve to talk about someone like that right in front of them? What’s your problem?”

Finally seeing his face, the first girl’s eyes went wide with shock as she realized that he was in fact Raymond Danahy.

“Uh, umm, s-sorry Ray,” she stammered, “you just look so different! I didn’t realize it was you until just now!”

“Is that supposed to justify your actions?” He asked incredulously, “You think it’s okay to publicly mock and belittle someone just because you don’t think they’re present? Even if I wasn’t Raymond Danahy, I’d still be pissed. People like you disgust me.”

With that, he stood up and walked away, going to find a place to sit where he wouldn’t have to listen to her. He hadn’t realized how much attention his outburst had drawn. His anger was a blessing at that instance, as the fury that was still raging through him prevented him from getting self-conscious and panicking from the attention.

He took a seat at the front of the room, as far from the girl as he could get.

The girl was still desperately trying to run damage control, trying to take back what she had said, but from the disapproving glares being cast at her from around the room, it was clear that that wasn’t going to go over well.

Mr. Michaelson stood up. “Alright kids, it’s time to talk.” He announced, walking to the front of the room, “but first, Ray, you’ll be serving detention over lunch with me. This is a catholic school. We don’t use language like that here.”

Ray nodded. It annoyed him, as he was just defending himself, but he had known Mr. Michaelson was strict when he said it.

“As for you Amanda. Your lunches for the next two weeks will be spent with me.”

Her jaw dropped in shock.

“Ray was exactly right,” their instructor continued, “it doesn’t matter whether the person you’re talking about is in the room or not. Talking about someone like that is completely unacceptable. Ray has clearly worked very hard to change himself over the summer. How do you think he must feel for those to be the first words he hears on the first day of classes?”

Amanda looked at her feet in shame.

Raymond felt a mixture of pride and embarrassment at the instructor’s comments. He found himself blushing once again.

“No arguments then? Good. Lets move on.”

Mr. Michaelson began to begin the yearly introductions: what they could expect as grade 9 students, what their schedules would be like, and how much homework they could expect. He told them that as per tradition after lunch they could have the rest of the day to do with as they wished, whether that meant going home early, hanging out with friends, or visiting their favorite teachers, and that classes would officially start the next day.

Lunch soon arrived, and while Ray fully expected to spend it sitting in Mr. Michaelson’s classroom, he had not expected the mob of students that crowded around him. They began asking him various questions, how he had spent his summer, what he was planning on doing after lunch, what his phone number was, and so on.

Raymond, completely taken aback by the sudden attention, found himself at a loss for words. His panic rising steadily, he sighed in relief as Mr. Michaelson rescued him from the unwanted advances of his peers.

“Raymond is serving a detention.” The man said sternly. “That means he’s being punished. Unless you all intend to join him in detention, be on your way. If you do want to join him for detention, just keep in mind that there will be no talking.”

That was all it took. They left, promising Ray that they’d talk later.

“Thanks Mr. Michaelson.” Ray said, looking at the teacher.

“What are you thanking me for?” The teacher said with a smirk, “I just told them the truth.”

When lunch was over, Amanda walked up to Ray as he was getting his things together.

“I just want to say I really am sorry,” she said when he looked at her suspiciously, “I wasn’t thinking about how my words might hurt you. I was just trying to get your attention. I did say you were beautiful.” She finished with a blush.

Ray nodded slowly, “no worries. I’m used to it.” He turned to walk away.

“Well you shouldn’t be you know!” she called after him.

He turned back to look at her, one eyebrow raised in confusion over her last comment.

“Used to it I mean,” she said, “No one should be used to being insulted. That’s sad.”

“And you really do look good.” She said with a blush before rushing out of the room.
 

~o~O~o~
 
A short time later Ray walked into the art room. Ms. Mira stood with her back turned to him, catching up with some other students. Ray sat his bag down on one of the art tables and patiently waited for them to leave.

A few minutes later they said their goodbyes and Ms. Mira turned to see who had entered.

Upon seeing him her eyes scrunched up in confusion, before going wide with shock as her jaw dropped in recognition.

“RAY?!” She exclaimed, “OH MY-“

Realizing she had said that a bit too loud, she lowered her voice, “Oh my goodness! You look incredible! Evalyn stopped by earlier saying you looked a bit different, but wow.”

Ray couldn’t help but blush at her reaction, “c’mon Ms. Mira, it’s really not that big of a deal, I’m still me.”

“I mean, yeah,” she continued excitedly, “of course you're still you, but, I dunno, I feel like this is the you you were meant to be!”

Ray didn’t know why, but that comment made him uncomfortable, “I dunno”, he responded awkwardly.

The two spent the next half hour catching up, telling each other about their summers.

Finally, as he was getting ready to leave, he asked her the one question he had been pondering all summer.

“So, uh, I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and if it’s not too much trouble I think I’d like to enter that art gallery competition you told me about last spring.” He tried to sound and look confident, but quickly lost it and he rushed to add, “If it’s not too late.”

This ushered in another uncharacteristic squeal of excitement. “I’m so happy to hear that!” She said once she had regained her composure, “technically no, it’s not to late, but the deadline for submissions is Friday. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to make 5 pieces of sufficient quality by then.” She said disappointedly.

Ray smiled, “what if I told you I had finished all 5 pieces over the summer?”

“I don’t know why I ever worried.” She said, playfully swatting his arm, “do you think you could bring them in tomorrow? Then I could go over them with you on Wednesday, and submit them on Thursday with time to kill. And since you’re only, what? 14 now?” She hazarded a guess.

At his nod, she continued, “I’ll need you to take home some waivers and permission slips for your parents to sign. Also, I have to ask, does this mean you’ve gotten over your shyness and are ready to share your work with others?”

“Uhhh,” he hesitated.

That was all she needed to hear. She gave him a sad smile, “if you want to did this, you know you’re going to have a lot of people looking at your work, right? You and your work.”

He looked down at his feet, “I just figured I’d cross the bridge when I came to it. I don’t know.”

“It’s okay Raymond, we’ll figure it out.” She reassured him, “now you get running, I see your brother and sister waiting in the hall for you. I’ll get those permission slips and waivers for you tomorrow.”

With a nod and a quick goodbye, Ray rushed out to meet his siblings.

“Hey Bro!” Sebastian called in greeting.

“How was your first day?” Evalyn asked.

“Hey Seb! Hey Eva!” Ray said happily, “I got detention! It was great! How about you guys?”

Sebastian and Evalyn stood there dumbstruck for a moment.

“Wait, what?” Asked Sebastian, “my day was good, but what?”

Ray and Evalyn just laughed, Sabastian joining in a moment later.

Together the three Danahys left the school with the envious eyes of many students upon them.
 

~o~O~o~
 
That night at dinner each of the children told the family their stories of the first day. His parents had the same reaction to his detention as his siblings, but his family understood, one Ray gave them the full explanation. They were even proud of him for standing up for himself.

Ray didn’t mention the art gallery to his family yet. As much as he wanted to, he just couldn’t get the words out. Evalyn had an odd look on her face after he finished though. After dinner he helped his mom clean up before heading to his room for some gaming.

“Hey lil’ bro!” his sister called quietly from her room when he reached the top of the stairs.

Ray noticed her door was slightly ajar; she had been watching for him. She beckoned him over with a finger, closing her door behind him.

“Okay, spill it.” She began, “what did you leave out at dinner."

“W-what? I, uh, don’t know what you mean.” Ray said nervously.

“C’mon bro.” She said sceptically, “we both know I’ve always been able to read you like a book.”

With a heavy sigh, Ray explained everything about the art gallery, how he wanted to do it, but was terrified to do it.

“Why are you so afraid?” She asked him.

“I dunno.” He said miserably. “Maybe it’s cuz I’m a failure.” He said, degrading himself.

“Hey now,” his sister said sternly, “none of that self pity nonsense. There has to be a reason why.”

Slowly, she coaxed it out of him.

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been uncomfortable in my own body.” He began reluctantly, “and it’s like, whenever there’s any attention on me that discomfort is multiplied. My chest seizes up and I feel like I can’t breathe or talk or do anything at all. Then the tears start welling up, and that just makes it worse.”

He looked up from his feet, expecting her to be laughing at him, but she just watched him quietly, giving him her full attention. He continued.

“I think that constant inescapable feeling is why I retreated into myself for so long. I only started making an effort again last spring. And I thought—I was convinced—that my discomfort would go away as I lost weight and got in better shape. I thought I could be like you and Sebastian, so at ease in my body, but I’m not.” His voice wavered. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“It feels like my skin doesn’t fit. And sometimes it’s so painful. There only two things that make me feel a little better.”

He hesitated there. Unsure whether he could continue.

“What are those things Ray?” His sister prompted gently.

“No, never mind, forget it. It’s stupid.” He said, getting up to leave.

“No.” Evalyn said firmly, grabbing his hand and pulling him over to sit next to her on her bed. “Tell me, and I swear, I will not mock you or laugh, and I will not speak a word of it to anyone.”

With a heavy sigh and a sniffle, Ray continued.

“As stupid as it sounds, the first thing is the video games I play. In those games, I can be anyone. Anywhere. The people I play with online? I can be myself with them without any fear of backlash or mockery. Even if they’re mean, I can just block them, and I never have to deal with them again. My best friend. My only friend besides you and Seb, is just a guy on the internet who I’ve never even met in real life. But that’s fine with me, spending time with him makes me feel better.”

“And the second thing?” Evalyn asked quietly.

With a deep breath, Ray continued.

“The second thing is my art. When I start drawing, or painting, or whatever. I just lose myself in the process. Everything else ceases to exist. The pain and discomfort goes away. I can breathe. But… showing my work to people? That’s like… it’d be like showing them all my insecurities. If they rejected my work… they’d be rejecting me. And I’d never be able to free myself through my art again. I’d just retreat back into myself.”

The tears flowed freely now, he looked at his sister, and to his surprise she cried too.

She pulled him into her embrace.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before you big dummy.” She admonished gently.

She held him and together they cried.

Finally, after several minutes, they separated.

Sniffling, Evalyn spoke.

“We need to tell Mom, Dad, and Seb.” She said seriously.

“N-no. No no no. We can’t.” Ray replied, terrified.

“Ray,” she said, gently taking his hand, “they can help. They’ll understand.”

“No! Please Eva. I can’t tell them. The only reason I told you was because you knew something was wrong, and I knew I couldn’t hide it from you. But I can’t tell them too.”

She looked like she wanted to say more.

“Please Eva. Please.” He begged, “you can’t tell them.”

Biting her lip, Evalyn finally relented. “Fine. Okay fine.”

“I do have an idea though” she said, a sly smile coming to her lips.

Ray looked at her curiously.

“What if you entered the art gallery under an alias?”

“An alias?” Ray asked, incredulously, “I don’t know how I feel about lying about who I am. And how would that even help?”

“Don’t think about it as lying about who you are. Think about it like,” She frowned, trying to think of a good way to explain it. Her eyes lit up.

“When you play online with your friends you use a screenname right?” She asked, “you don’t go as Raymond Danahy right?”

“Of course,” he answered instantly, “everyone does. It’s weird and potentially unsafe to use your real name.”

“Exactly. Think about it the same way.” She explained, “you could attend the art gallery under an assumed name, in disguise. It would still be you. It would still be your art. You just wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Even if someone rejected your work, it would be just like what you do with the mean people online, you would block them, and then as Raymond you would never have to deal with them again.”

Ray nodded slowly in understanding, “th- that could work.” He said, “I think I could do that.”

He nodded more confidently, “no, I definitely could do that. But the disguise would have to be good. No one could recognize me.” He finished.

“You let me worry about the disguise. You just worry about getting Mom and Dad’s signature, and getting Ms. Mira to agree to the use of an alias.”

Ray nodded. With one last sniffle, he stood to leave, “thanks for everything Eva. You’re the best.”

“Anytime. And Ray? Ever hide something like this from me again and I will kick you're ass.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Ray went to bed immediately afterwards, exhausted. He woke the next morning feeling surprisingly light hearted, and got ready for the first real day of classes. Evalyn gave him a ride to school so he wouldn’t have to carry his artwork on the bus. His first stop was to the art room to quickly store his work in his art locker before rushing into Homeroom at the last minute.

To his initial displeasure, he had gym class first thing in the morning that semester.

Ray finished his laps ahead of the rest of the class, much to their shock. Surprised and pleased with his accomplishment, Ray practically beamed. Apparently, very few students kept up with Mr. McMan’s workout regimen over the summer, whereas Ray had been running and swimming almost every day. He had slowly worked up to running at a comfortable pace for 45 minutes straight, being able to hold up a conversation with his brother throughout the whole thing. Compared to that this was easy. He wasn’t even out of breath at the end of the run.

After everyone finished, Mr. McMan came up and clapped him on the shoulder, “Way to go son! Great hustle out there! See? I always knew you could do it, you’ll be a football star like you me and your big brother in no time!”

Fury and disgust rolled through him. Ray smacked the instructors hand away.

“Don’t. Touch. Me. And don’t you dare call me son.” Ray spat with disgust.

The room was dead quiet.

“Let’s get one thing straight.” Ray said, “I am only here, because it’s a requirement for graduation. I would rather be anywhere else than in a room with you, but to do that I would be letting my family down.”

“All I ever did was motivate you. I don’t know why you’re so upset.” Said Mr. McMan indignantly.

“MOTIVATE ME?!” Ray shouted, “All you ever did was humiliate and degrade me. Motivation is what my brother gave me. He ran with me every day. He encouraged me. He taught me how to make healthy choices. You’re twice his age, but he’s already 10 times the man you’ll ever be, so don’t try to compare yourself to him. You’re just a washed-out has-been, whereas he’s going places, and even if I had any interest at all in sports, I sure as hell wouldn’t play on your team.”

Ray suddenly became very aware that every eye in the room was on him.

“You little shit.” Spat Mr. McMan, “you’re pathetic. You’ll never amount to anything.”

Ray opened his mouth, no words came out, he looked around, his classmates were staring. His chest tightened. He tried to focus on his breathing when he saw Mr. McMan raise his hand threateningly.

“ANDY.” Came a voice full of authority from the gym’s entrance. Everyone’s head spun to the doors where Mrs. Clarke, the principal of the school, stood.

“Tell me you were not just about to strike a student.” Came the quiet, furious voice that left everyone in the room straining to listen.

“H- h- he disrespected me!” Mr. McMan stuttered, taken off guard.

“My office.” She seethed, “now.”

“But I have a class to teach!” argued the gym teacher.

“It’s gym. That hardly classifies as teaching.” She mocked, before pointing at the nearest student, “you, arrange a game of dodgeball while your teacher and I have a little talk.”

“Y- yes ma’am!” The girl said before quickly starting the process of organizing the group into teams.

As the menacing eyes shifted away, Reay felt as if he could breath again. He had started walking to the changing rooms the moment Mrs. Clarke had made her appearance. He had to get out of here. Before the eyes came back. The principal had clearly seen him turn to leave but didn’t object to Ray’s great relief.

Quickly changing back into his normal clothes Ray slipped out the back of the changing rooms into empty halls, just as he had several months earlier, and just as he had then, he headed to the art room.

He caught Ms. Mira in the middle of teaching a class with the grade 7 art students who had just started at the school. He was about to walk away from the door when Ms. Mira spotted him and called out, “C’mon in Ray!”

Aaaaaaaand the 10 pairs of eyes immediately turned to look at him. His breathing became labored. He just stood there outside the doors. Unable to do anything. Again.

Just as some of the grade 7 students started to whisper to each other Ms. Mira took his hand and pulled him into the room.

“This, class, is Raymond Danahy.” She said, introducing him to the class, “he is one of the most talented students I’ve had the privilege of teaching. Say hello class!”

There was small chorus of hellos from the younger students.

Ray opened his mouth, but words wouldn’t come out, he closed his mouth swallowing nervously. This got some giggles out of the class.

“Sorry guys,” came a voice from behind him.

His sister, God bless her, his wonderful sister, came up from behind him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

“My little brother Ray here is a little shy, so be patient with him,” she explained, capturing their attention with the power of her charisma alone, “my name is Evalyn Danahy” she introduced herself.

She walked forward some more, “So what are you guys working on?” she asked kindly.

After a small pause, one girl piped up, “we’re learning about different mediums and the seven principles of design.”

“Oh really?” Evalyn said, “that sounds interesting, I hope you’ll excuse me, but unlike my little bro here, I’m no artist. What’s a medium?”

Another student, a young boy, piped up, “mediums are the materials artists use to make their art!”

“Ooooooh” Evalyn began, nodding in understanding, “so that would be, like, all the different paints and pencils, right?”

Various students nodded and called out confirmations.

“So then,” Evalyn continued, “what the heck are those seven principles of design? Is Mrs. Clarke one of them?” She asked jokingly.

The class laughed and the first student, the girl, spoke again, “Nooooo, not principals, principles!”

Soon Evalyn had drawn the whole group into a discussion about what Ms. Mira had taught them so far, giving Ms. Mira a chance to draw Ray off to the side to talk.

“I don’t understand.” Ray said, confused, now that he wasn’t the center of attention he could breath again, and his brain caught up, “how did you know I was coming? You spotted me immediately.”

“Mrs. Clarke paged me right after you left the gym,” she explained, “she thought you might be headed my way, and asked that I invite you in and keep you here until she speaks to you. As for your sister, I have no idea, but I would assume Mrs. Clarke did that as well.”

Ray nodded in understanding, the ramifications of what he’d said beginning to fill his mind, covering his face with his hands he groaned, “oh my goodness, I’m gonna be in sooooo much trouble.”

Ms. Mira laughed quietly, “relax Ray, you’re sounding just like a girl.” She teased, “it’s not uncommon for boys your age to get into a bit of trouble. It can’t be that bad.”

Her remark barely phased Ray. “But I’ve never been in trouble.” He explained, wide eyed, “not real trouble! And you don’t know what I did.”

“Well what did you do?” She asked, “as long as you didn’t physically attack him, which I’m sure you didn’t, otherwise it’d be the police detaining you instead of the art teacher.”

“Ahhh, there’s a smile,” she teased, “now can you stay right here? I do still have a class to teach. Feel free to do whatever you want.”

“Even go attack Mr. McMan?” Ray replied sarcastically.

“Well maybe not whatever you want.” she said after a small laugh.

Ms. Mira and his Evalyn traded places after Evalyn thanked the class for teaching her.

Joining Ray, she immediately asked him what happened.

“First of all, how did you even know I’d even be here, Eva?” Ray asked, trying to put things together, “did Mrs. Clarke send you?”

“Why would the principal send me?” She asked, confused by his remark, “you went right past my class room. I just happened to see you, so I followed.”

Ray’s eyes widened, “you ditched class to make sure I was okay?”

“Of course, You’re my little brother, and I knew it had to have been something serious for you to skip class. It’s just not like you.”

Ray quietly told her the whole story, when he got to the end, Evalyn’s eyes widened in shock.

“That bad huh? I’m really in for it, aren’t I?” He asked nervously.

“Ray, a teacher tried to hit you.” She said quietly so the other students wouldn’t overhear. “I’m willing to bet that the only one in trouble here is McMan.” She said matter-of-factly.

Ray furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “then why would she ask Ms. Mira to keep me here if I’m not in trouble?”

“Ray, don’t take this the wrong way.” She began, “but you’ve always been more emotional than most guys your age, she probably knows that you can be a bit sensitive and wanted to make sure you were in a safe place.”

Ray, already self-conscious, didn't need to hear that he had another flaw, especially one as major as this. Giving thought to what Eva - and Ms. Mira - said, he grudgingly accepted the news. Emotional outbursts like he frequently displayed never seemed to happen to other guys.

“Oh god,” Evalyn began, feigning horror, “if it ever gets back to Seb that Mr. McMan tried to hit you then our big brother might become a murderer.”

The two talked for the rest of the period, when Ray finally succeeded in convincing her he’d be fine and she could go to her next class.

“Hmmmm,” she said thoughtfully as she began to leave, “I enjoyed talking with those students. Maybe I should be a teacher.”

Ray just smiled.

Ms. Mira didn’t have another class until after lunch so he decided this would be a great time to talk to her about the art gallery.

“So I was talking with Eva last night,” he began.

“Eva?” Ms. Mira asked, not making the connection.

“Yeah, Eva. Evalyn. My big sister.” He clarified.

“Oooooh, of course.” Ms. Mira nodded in understanding, “I had just never heard her be called that before.”

Ray giggled at some inside joke, “Yeah, when I was a baby learning how to speak, I couldn’t pronounce ‘Sebastian’ or ‘Evalyn’, so I just called them ‘Seb’ and ‘Eva’. By the time I could say their names, the nicknames had stuck. Pretty much the whole family calls them that now.”

“Ah, I see.” Ms. Mira said, nodding, “cute.”

“Anyways, as I was saying,” Ray continued, “we were talking, and she said had an idea that I think would really help me to share my work at the gallery.” He explained.

He proceeded to explain to her the whole idea of entering under an alias with a disguise.

“I don’t know Ray; the whole idea seems kinda sketchy.” She said uncertainly, “I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with it.”

“Please Ms. Mira? You saw how I choked with just a couple grade 7 students in front of me. How can I expect to talk to a bunch of rich influential men and woman when I can’t even say hello to some little kids?”

“I see your point Ray, but I don’t see how a costume and fake name will help with that.”

“If I attend under a different name and look different, if it ends up being a bad experience for me, I could just shed the negative experience as I shed the alias. It wouldn’t have an impact on my life as Raymond Danahy. If I have to go as myself, I won’t be able to do it. I’ll choke and panic a lot worse than I did in front of those 7th graders.”

Nodding slowly in understanding, Ms. Mira agreed, “fine, but in addition to the wavers and permission slips I’m going to be sending a letter home with you asking your parents if they’re okay with this. I’ll need all of them signed before we put in your submission. Deal?”

“Deal.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Evalyn had been correct about the situation with Mr. McMan. Mrs. Clarke just wanted to ensure his safety. She had been aware of several complaints about Mr. McMan for sometime but hadn’t taken them seriously, as he was always an absolute professional in her presence. She didn’t approve of what Ray had said to the man, but she couldn’t excuse a member of her staff raising his hand to a student. As he hadn’t actually struck Ray, he had gotten away with a mere month-long suspension without pay. That night the family heard whole story, his parents agreeing with how the situation had been handled. They believed a month-long suspension too lenient for his actions however.

After dinner Ray brought his parents an internet connectivity form, basically asking for his parent’s permission for Ray to use the school internet. They granted it with a quick signature and Ray retired for the night early, claiming to have been exhausted by the long day.

Back in his room Ray turned on his lamp and pulled out the permission forms his father and mother had each signed. Ray knew his parents, his mother in particular being a lawyer, would never approve of him attending the art gallery in disguise under an assumed name, so on a piece of scrap paper he began practicing their respective signatures. After about an hour, his hand was aching, but he had produced a fairly good forgery. He felt guilty as he signed his parent’s names on the waiver, permission slip, and letter, but he had to do this, by whatever means necessary.
 

---

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Howdy y'all!

Flummox here.

Bwah! It feels like all I do is apologize! This chapter is even later then the last, but I swear it's not my fault. I had some technical difficulties.
I'm really really sorry, but a few people told me the last chapter was good enough to earn forgiveness, so I can only hope this one is too!

I don't have much else to say. I just want to thank everyone who reads this for taking the time to do so. It means a lot to me. As always, I love to hear you're thoughts. So please, leave a comment, or shoot me a message. The encouragement I get from all of you is what keeps me going.

Stay wonderful.

Flummox.

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A Blank Page
Chapter 5
By Flummox

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A feeling of awkwardness permeated the air as Raymond entered the school. People pointed at him, and whispered about the prior day's events in muted voices. Apparently, the rumor mill had started, as several students questioned Ray mercilessly. The whole scenario had been blown out of proportion by the gossip chain. Some students claimed that Ray had attacked Mr. McMan, others claimed Mr. McMan had tried to kill him. Ray tried to quell the rumors whenever he could, but few were interested in the truth as it was much less interesting.

Ray hated the undue attention the incident brought him, but ultimately couldn’t do anything about it. So, he just tried his best to ignore the eyes that followed him and the whispers that came in his wake. By the time Art class finally arrived he had become a bundle of raw nerves.

Art class brought the relief he so desperately needed, and when class ended he found himself in the right frame of mind to talk to Ms. Mira.

“Hey Ms. Mira,” he greeted as he approached her, “I have those papers you needed.”

“Excellent!” She proclaimed, “so I trust this means your parents are okay with it?”

“Well, I needed to convince them about the whole,” He looked around to see if anyone was listening. Convinced that they were focused on their work, he continued in a whisper, “the whole disguise thing.”

“But they agreed in the end?” She asked for confirmation.

Ray nodded, pulling out the papers. He hesitated for a moment, before holding them out.

Ms. Mira took them gently, mistaking his guilt at forging his parents’ signatures for nerves.

“Wonderful.” She said after a brief inspection. “I’ll head over and submit these tomorrow after school. Assuming everything checks out, and that your work is of satisfactory quality, the first showing is next Friday. Whatever disguise you use will need to be ready by then.”

“First showing?” Ray inquired, unfamiliar with the process he’d be going through.

“Yeah, here’s how it’ll work.” She explained. “All the entrants will submit their 5 piece portfolio to the art gallery. The directors of the event will eliminate any student’s works they don’t believe to be of the level of skill they’re looking for. From my understanding, they won’t be too harsh, they’re just going to be eliminating anyone who is obviously below the level of the rest. I doubt you’ll have any issues here. Next there’ll be three showings, each more cutthroat than the last. All the entrants will be attending the showings to see the other pieces and show their own. Their will be a panel of judges inspecting all the pieces as well. They will eliminate more entrants at each showing until only the best students remain. Those students will have their work featured in the art gallery, will have a chance to meet and impress the influential attendees to the gallery, and might even have a chance to sell or auction off their work if they so desire.”

“Wow, this whole thing is a lot more serious and complex than I thought.” Ray said after she finished her explanation.

Ms. Mira laughed and told him to be on his way to his next class.

Nodding, Ray turned to leave, only to see his sister at the door.

“Hey Eva, what’s up? You need something?” He asked.

She just laughed.

“What make’s you think I’m here to see you?” She teased.

At his baffled look, Ms. Mira explained, “Evalyn told me she needed to talk to me. I told her now was the best time. Have a good night, and I’ll see you next class Raymond.”

“Oh, okay. Bye Ms. Mira, bye Eva. See ya after school.”

Raymond took his leave.

“So what was it you needed to talk to me about?” Ms. Mira inquired.

“Well,” she began, “Ray told you about my idea for the art gallery, right? About using an alias?”

At Ms. Mira’s nod of confirmation Evalyn continued.

“It’s about that. I told Raymond I’d have his disguise ready, but in order for this to work he needs to enter under a different name. It would defeat the purpose if on his application he was still listed as Raymond Danahy right?”

“Are you suggesting we should lie about his identity on the official application as well?” Ms. Mira asked, an edge creeping into her voice.

Evalyn didn’t let the comment deter her and plowed forwards.

“Yes.” She said certainly, “if our parents’ signed off on it, it shouldn’t be an issue, right? I’m assuming you had Ray get out parents’ permission, right?”

“Well I suppose,” Ms. Mira admitted, “it still doesn’t sit right with me though.”

“And I totally get that,” Evalyn assured her, bBut Ray needs to do this. He really needs to do this. I haven’t seen his work yet, but as his teacher you have, right?”

“Well, yes.”

“And he’s really good, right?”

“Incredible for someone his age.” Ms. Mira answered honestly.

“If he does this,” Evalyn explained patiently, “and people love his work, to him it will mean the world. It will validate him. This could be the only way for him to gain the self confidence he desperately needs. And the only way for this to work is to use an alias.”

Ms. Mira was convinced. “Okay.” She agreed, “so why are you here to see me? What do you have to do with all this?”

“It’s just like I said. I’m helping Ray with his disguise, which is just about ready. I’m here today to give you the name he’s going to enter under.”

She handed Ms. Mira a folded piece of paper. “Spell it just like that.”

Evalyn prepared to leave as Ms. Mira opened the note. Her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Uhhhh, are you sure about this Evalyn?” She asked, “this doesn’t seem like a very masculine name.”

Evalyn looked at her, “it’s not supposed to be.” She said with a wink before leaving.

Ms. Mira just shrugged and went about filling out the necessary papers, changing any entries of ‘Raymond’ to the name he would be bearing for the event.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The rest of Raymond’s day went peacefully with the exception of the nagging guilt over lying to Ms. Mira and forging his parents’ signatures. He was leaving the school and heading down to his sister’s car when he was suddenly pulled backwards by his backpack. Balance lost, he collapsed to the ground.

Groaning, Ray started to push himself up, looking around for the cause of his fall. It didn’t take long to find it, as a pair of strong hands grabbed him by the collar and dragged him roughly to his feet.

Before he could do anything, his back was slammed against the wall, “not so tough now huh?” Gregory Pilsing spat venomously.

Gregory Pilsing was a tall, muscular boy. He was in grade 12 with Ray’s older brother, Sebastian, although they weren’t friends as far as Ray knew. The main thing Ray knew about him was that Greg was the older brother of Derek Pilsing. The boy who had ruthlessly tormented him the previously year.

“What’s the matter you little bitch?” He seethed, “you incapable of fighting your own battles? Well you’ve gone too far this time. Getting Mr. McMan suspended was a mistake. Are you such a little girl that you can’t take a bit of good natured teasing?”

The scene was causing quite the commotion. Everywhere around them, students were watching. As the school day had just ended, more people kept flowing out of the school, each stopping in turn to watch the encounter unfold.

“Let go. You’re hurting me.” Ray said in a small voice. It was all he could manage at the moment. With everyone watching he was surprised he even managed that. He felt the familiar feeling of his chest tightening, his breathing becoming short sharp gasps, his mind going blank.

“Good. You should be hurt.” Greg continued, “it’s only fair after you hurt my little brother and Mr. McMan. You cried and ran to Mr. Michaelson when Derek made a little joke. You got him detention. For TWO WEEKS.” He said, as if his little brother had actually been sentenced to death.

“And Mr. McMan? You’ve went out of your way to damage his livelihood. Just because he tried to help you get healthy.”

Tears were streaming down Ray’s cheeks. It wasn’t like that. It hadn’t been his fault. That’s not how it went. There were so many things he wanted to say, but no words would come.

“Huh?” Greg asked, as a small hand tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to look at the source.

The sound of flesh on flesh snapped through the air. Greg’s head flew to the side. All around them, students were cringing and wincing just at the sound.

Ray looked over, blinking away the tears and confusion.

Evalyn stood next to them. Eyes closed in pain, cradling an obviously throbbing hand.

Ray realized what had happened.

Evalyn had slapped Gregory. Hard. She had practically ripped his head off.

Greg gritted his teeth and looked at her with unbridled fury.

Then, unexpectedly, he laughed. Finally getting a hold of himself, he turned to look at Raymond again.

“Wow! You really are pathetic. Even little girls are stepping up to fight your battles and protect you.”

“As for you,” he said menacingly, taking a menacing step towards Evalyn.

Oh God no. Not Eva. Ray tried to move. He had to protect her. But he couldn’t. He was still petrified. The eyes were everywhere, and the three of them were the center of attention.

“Hmph. Idiot.” Evalyn scoffed at the large boy, completely un-phased by his advances.

“What?” Greg said, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, not understanding.

She shook her head slowly, as if she were explaining something to a particularly slow child.

“You said that Ray was pathetic for needing a little girl like me to protect him, but you’re wrong. He doesn’t need me to protect him. That’s what the two of us have him for.” She said, nodding over Greg’s shoulder.

Greg turned to look behind him in confusion. He turned around just in time to see Sebastian bull rushing towards him, a split-second before he was blown off his feet.

Sebastian landed on top of him, and while Greg did outsize him and was an athlete himself, Sebastian was in the more dominant position, and was not a pushover by any means.

Moments later Sebastian had Greg’s arms pinned to the ground with his knees and his fist poised to strike down at the boy’s face. Pure fury was written all across his face.

Finally, Ray managed to breakthrough his self-imposed prison.

“Stop. Stop Seb.” He said, stumbling over and grabbing his brothers readied arm. “He’s not worth it. Don’t do it. Let’s just- let’s just go home.”

Sebastian licked his lips. Finally, after staring down at his prisoner for another second, he slowly nodded.

“You listen, and you listen carefully.” Sebastian said, rage barely held in check, “I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told that piece of trash you call your little brother last spring. You fuck with my family, you fuck with me. And Like Eva just said, I’m their protector. You DON’T want to fuck with me.”

With that, Sebastian slowly rose to his feet.

He turned to look at Ray and Evalyn, cold fury still raging in his blue eyes.

“Let’s go home.”

He stopped to take one last look at Gregory, just now climbing to his feet.

“One last thing,” Sebastian called out, “next time, not even my little brother will be able to talk me down.”

When the three siblings finally made it to Evalyn’s car, Ray couldn’t help himself. He threw his arms around his big brother and big sister, drawing them into a big hug.

Finally, he pulled away, “s-sorry,” he said, suddenly embarrassed by his actions, “I just don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

Sebastian just nodded, “Well you don’t have to know. Cuz you’ve got us. And we’ve got your back Ray. No matter what.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Apparently, someone had reported the confrontation to the school, who had in turn reported it to the parents of the involved parties. Catalina and Jameson were not impressed that their kids had gotten into such a conflict on the third day of school, but they heard them out, and afterwards they found it hard to be angry. Someone had been attacking Ray unprovoked, and his siblings had looked out for him, as siblings should. It didn’t seem right to punish any of them for that.

The last two days of the week passed uneventfully. Ms. Mira submitted Ray’s entry with his 5 piece portfolio to the art gallery and informed him that they should know by Wednesday if he had made it to the first showing.

The days crept by slowly—too slowly for Ray. Barely containing his excitement, Ray passed the time by running with Sebastian, gaming with Bunny, and reading. He knew that Evalyn would mention the art gallery at home if he couldn’t convince her not to, but he also knew she could read him like a book. So he decided he’d just tell her the truth, that their parents didn’t know yet, and he wanted to keep it that way. He left out the bit about forging their signatures, and thankfully she didn’t ask.

Finally, Wednesday arrived. Ray could barely sit still in class throughout the day. He ate his lunch outside the art room so he could be there the moment Ms. Mira showed up, and finally she did.

He leapt up to meet her when she came around the corner.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Mira!” He said excitedly.

“Good afternoon, Ray.” She returned, smiling at his excitement.

She unlocked the room and entered, him following behind her like an overeager puppy.

Finally he couldn’t wait any longer.

“So?!” He asked.

“So what?” She asked back, feigning ignorance.

“So did I make it to the first showing?!” He asked.

She just smiled and continued to watch him.

“C’mon Ms. Mira.” He whined.

“But I’m having so much fun watching you squirm.” She teased with a laugh.

He groaned.

“Yes.” She said, looking all too pleased with herself.

He looked up in shock. “Yes? You mean I made it?!”

“I mean you made it.” She said with a smile, “I don’t know why you’re so excited though, I told you didn’t need to be worried about this part, so I don’t know why you’re acting like a giddy school girl.” She teased.

Ray laughed, “I dunno, I guess this is just my first time doing anything like this.”

Ms. Mira smiled, when Ray was happy his smile sure was infectious.

“Well you had better be ready. You and I are going to the first showing this Friday.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Ray was in his last class of the day when his phone buzzed. With as much subtlety as he could muster, he pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the message. It was from Bunny.

Can u go online?? We need 2 talk!

Glancing at the teacher, and believing he could get away with it, Ray typed back a quick message.

I’m in class. What’s up?

He went back to paying attention until his phone buzzed again.

I just found out where I’m moving. When r u home???

Ray’s heart stopped for a second. He had been wondering when this news would come.

Where? Just tell me.

The reply came almost instantly.

No Just go home asap

Oh God. If Bunny wouldn’t tell him it really must be serious.

Fine. I’ll be on as soon as I get home.

Now his imagination was going wild. Where could he be moving to? What if it was on the opposite side of the world? Ray would always be sleeping when Bunny was online. What if- Oh God. What if he moved somewhere worse? Somewhere with no internet access?! They’d never speak again!
 

~o~O~o~
 
Ray ran to his room the moment his sister pulled up to their house. He threw his door open and closed again, grabbed his controller and booted up the game system. Bunny Immediately invited him to a chat.

“Hey Rayny! Ho-"

“We’re still gonna be friends, right?!” Ray interrupted him, skipping their usual joke greeting.

“Rayny-"

“Even if you move to the other side of the world and one of has to get up super early and the other stay up super late.”

“Rayny, you’re over-"

“Even if you go somewhere without internet access, like the middle of the desert, or something, we’ll find a way to stay in touch, right?!”

“Rayny! Calm-"

“Even if-"

“I’M MOVING TO VANCOUVER.”

Silence.

“Y-you’re what?” Ray stammered, sure he had misheard him.

“I’m moving to Vancouver, Rayny! We’re gonna be able to meet in real life you big idiot.” Came Bunny’s voice through the headset, laughter following shortly afterwards.

“Whaaa?” Ray slurred, not comprehending.

Slowly the story came out. The reason Bunny’s father’s company had taken so long was they highly valued him and wanted to give him some options to keep him and his family happy. When Bunny’s parents saw that one of their options was Vancouver they jumped at it. The way they saw it, it would make for an easier adjustment for the whole family as they wouldn’t be shifting time zones. In addition to that they would only be a few hours away from their old home in Seattle and would be able to make visits to their old friends and family.

Meeting in real life had been something Bunny and Ray had discussed before as they had always only been a 5-hour drive apart. The main thing that had prevented the meeting was that Ray didn’t drive, and while Bunny did, his parents weren’t exactly okay with allowing their underage son to make a 5-hour drive across international borders just to meet a friend from the internet. A friend who could really be anyone.

“I can’t believe it.” Ray said, still stunned, “when’s the move?” he asked.

“I dunno the exact date.” Said Bunny, “maybe a month?”

“Wow.” Was all Ray could say.

Bunny just laughed. “Anyways, I gotta go Rayny, lots to do to prepare. See ya soon.”

See ya soon. Those were words he never expected to hear from Bunny when he woke up that morning. It had been an amazing day.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Thursday came and went uneventfully, Evalyn told him that she would meet him at the art room after school on Friday with his disguise, she’d would help him get ready. Then he’d catch a ride with Ms. Mira to the showing. They would tell the family that he had a date to keep them from wondering where he was, as he might not get home until later.

Ray’s excitement kept him awake later than he would have liked that night, but eventually sleep did claim him.

The next morning when his sister gave him a ride to school she had a duffel bag in the back seat that was not normally there. He didn’t have to ask—he knew it held his disguise. After arriving at school, they stored the duffel bag with Ms. Mira in the art room to be easily accessible later.

The school day passed uneventfully, and much too slowly for Raymond’s liking. Finally, it ended, and Raymond rushed to the art room. He beat his sister by a few minutes, and just stood around waiting for her, unsure what to expect. At last, his sister arrived, moving along at a casual pace.

“Shouldn’t we be hurrying?” He asked her as she walked up.

“Nope. It’s actually important that we don’t.” She explained, “we need to do this without anyone noticing.”

Ray nodded and the two of them sat down to talk for a bit. Once the halls seemed clear, they grabbed the duffel bag and Evalyn led him down the hall. Ray didn’t know where they were going, and knew not to ask, completely sure that Evalyn knew what she was doing.

Or at least he was sure. His confidence wavered when Evalyn entered the girl’s locker rooms. He hesitated for a moment, until Evalyn turned and waved him in quietly.

After the door closed behind him he asked, “can’t you just give me the bag and I’ll change in the boys room?”

“Trust me,” she said, “you’re gonna need my help.”

She sat the bag down on a bench and unzipped it, “besides,” she continued as she pulled out an article of clothing, “what’s gonna look weirder? A guy walking into the girl’s washroom? Or a girl walking out of the guys?”

He then realized that the article of clothing she held was a long blue dress.

“No. Nonononono. I can’t do that.” Ray said, waving his hands.

“C’mon Ray, it’ll be fine.” She said with a smile.

“No it won’t!” He exclaimed. “I should just go drop out. This isn’t gonna work.”

He turned to leave, but she grabbed his hand.

“Ray! Yes it will!”

Ray’s eyes had filled with tears, “everyone’s gonna laugh at me. They’ll think I’m disgusting.”

Evalyn pulled him into a tight hug. Finally, after he had calmed down she brought him to arms length. Staring intently into his eyes she asked him, “Ray. Do you trust me?”

Ray slowly nodded.

“Then trust me. No one will know. No one will think you’re disgusting.”

“Promise?” Came his quiet voice.

“I swear it. Now lets get to work.”

She handed him some clothes, “go into that stall,” she said, pointing, “strip, and put these on.”

Ray looked down at the clothes she had handed him. It was a pair of panties and a training bra. He blushed furiously, “i-is that really necessary?”

“If we’re gonna do this we’ve gotta do it right.” She said firmly, “now go. I need to get set up.”

He hesitantly walked into the washroom, and, as he had been told, stripped himself of his clothing.

After he was naked, with a deep breath, he slowly stepped into the panties and pulled them up. He was surprised by how soft they were, he didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn’t this softness. He attempted the bra next but couldn’t figure it out.

With a heavy sigh he stepped out to ask his sister for help.

“E-Eva?” he squeaked.

She turned to look at him. She didn’t stare or laugh like he was expecting her to, she just calmly asked as if it were a common thing, “trouble with the bra? They can be tricky at first. Let me help.”

Moments later the bra was correctly positioned over his chest, and Evalyn was inspecting his body for any hair that might need taking care of.

“Hmm, for once it’s a good thing that you’re a late bloomer.” She said, “we don’t have to shave you.”

He didn’t say anything, just sort of looked at his feet.

“Let’s get you dressed.” His sister said, noting his discomfort. She handed him the dress and watched as he pulled it on. With some guidance from his sister, he got it positioned correctly. It had a modest neckline that showed no cleavage, Ray realized this may have been a factor in his sister’s choice, and the hem came to his shins. This whole time he had pointedly been avoiding looking in the mirror, and was thankful when his sister drew him over to the bench and had him sit facing away from it.

He blushed furiously as his sister applied the makeup—explaining each step of the process as she went along, in an attempt to relax him.

“Ugh, I’m so jealous of you sometimes, Ray. Your skin is so nice that you don’t need any foundation. Your eyelashes are naturally long and beautiful, and your hair—Oh man! Your hair! It’s soooooo healthy and pretty. I wish I hadn’t gotten Mom’s curls.”

He figured she was trying to reassure him, but it wasn’t working. He had too many nerves. He still didn’t think this was going to work.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, she got up and moved behind him to work on his hair. Taking out the ponytail he had hastily thrown in that morning, she began to brush his hair out. After several minutes of brushing, she began to part it into a few separate strands, which she then braided.

From her bag, she pulled out some clip-on earrings, fastening them to his ears. A simple necklace, some bracelets, and a ring followed.

“We’re not going to paint your nails,” she explained, “Because leaving them as they are adds to the character. Why would an artist paint her nails when they would be getting covered in paint anyways?”

Ray gave the smallest of nods in understanding.

A short time later Evalyn clapped her hands together, finally, they were done.

“Okay, close your eyes.” She said, taking his hand and guiding him to his feet.

He did as he was told, and allowed her to lead him over to the mirror. When he was standing in front of it she had him stop.

“Open your eyes.” She said.

He slowly opened them, heart hammering in apprehension.

He expected to see a guy in a dress. A guy in drag. Something ugly. Something people would make fun of.

He expected to be scrubbing the makeup off. Tearing off the dress.

He expected tears.

Staring back at him, eyes wide with shock, was a young girl. She wore a light blush that Ray suspected was not from makeup, of which there was little. Her earrings were stylized metallic drops of water. Her long braid of reddish brown came over her shoulder and ended on her chest.

Ray rose his hand to his lips in amazement. The girl copied his movement perfectly.

“Ray?” His sister spoke, drawing him from his trance.

“Let me introduce you to Rayne Danahy.”
 

---

---

 
Hiya!

Flummox here.

First of all, I hope this message find's you in good health, and that you enjoyed this chapter.

I'm not going to beg for forgiveness for being late again, (Although I am sorry!) Instead I'm just going to adjust the schedule of releases so I won't be constantly apologizing in the future. So here's how it's gonna go: I'll be continuing to post one chapter every week, but life is too hectic to be able for me to lock down a set date to post on like I initially planned. I'll just post when I can, but always at least once a week. I hope this is acceptable!

As always, I would absolutely love to hear from you, whether it's through a comment below, or a private message. It means the world to me to read your comments, and I never get tired of hearing good advice on my writing or opinions on my story. If you find something hard to believe, let me know! I may disagree with you but I'd still love to hear your thoughts. If you find a mistake I made, factual or technical, hit me up! I'll try and fix it in the future.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I love you.

Until next time,

Flummox.

---

A Blank Page
Chapter 6
By Flummox

---

It was incredible.

Raymond stared at his reflection in the mirror. A young girl stared back. That was him. He was her. As he stared at the girl, Raymond experienced a rush of feelings the likes of which he had never felt before. His whole life, Raymond had felt trapped. Imprisoned in his own skin. He had struggled, and struggled, to be comfortable with himself. He had lost weight. He had gotten in the best shape he had ever been in. He had expected to finally like himself. He hadn’t. He had still felt trapped. Claustrophobic. As if he was locked in a small box. Banging on the walls, desperately trying to escape.

But now that lock had been opened, and for the first time in his life, Raymond felt free. The feeling of wrongness that had been his constant companion. His prison warden. Just like that, it was gone.

“Oh my gosh,” he breathed, “That’s me?”

Evalyn wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

“I told you know one would know. Didn’t I my darling little sister?” She asked, emphasising the word ‘sister’.

“I mean, yeah.” He whispered, still wide eyed, “But I didn’t believe you. I don’t even recognize myself.”

“That’s the point!” Evalyn laughed, “Alright, the last thing we need is the shoes.”

From the duffel bag, she pulled a pair of light blue sandals, “I would have liked to have gotten you into some heels, but I didn’t think that would be a good idea. You’d probably wipe out.” She teased.

Raymo- No. Rayne. Rayne slipped her feet into the sandals. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was surreal.

She took a small purse that Evalyn offered, and loaded it with her phone. As she reached for Raymond’s wallet Evalyn gently shook her head.

“You can’t take your wallet.” She began, “It wouldn’t fit for you to have a guy’s wallet in a girl’s purse. Just take whatever you might need out of your wallet and put it in your bag.”

Rayne nodded slowly, doing as she was told.

“Glasses too.” Evalyn instructed, holding out a glasses case, “I brought your contacts.”

Rayne scrunched up her face. She had gotten the contacts over the summer but didn’t wear them often. She just thought her glasses were more comfortable. Rayne was about to object and ask why, but Evalyn answered her question before she even opened her lips.

“You rarely to wear your contacts to school, right? If you wear them now, then it’s just one more change of features that’ll keep you from being recognized.”

Rayne sighed and gingerly slipped off her glasses and stowed them in the offered case. As usual, she couldn’t really argue with her sister’s logic. At least she was allowed to keep them in her purse.

Evalyn spent a few minutes coaching Rayne on her voice. As puberty had yet to truly strike Raymond, it took little effort for Rayne to adjust her voice to a tone that sounded both natural, and fitting to the young girl.

After a few more minutes getting coached on feminine mannerisms, and how to do simple things such as sit down and get into and out of vehicles without flashing anyone, Evalyn declared him ready.

“Alright! Let’s go see Ms. Mira.” Evalyn announced happily, grabbing Raymond’s belongings and tossing them into the duffel beg.

They left the changing rooms, Rayne only hesitating for a moment, and began walking down the halls.

Swish.

The feeling of the dress moving as they walked was so different from anything Rayne had ever experienced before. It was completely different from the sweatpants and jeans that Raymond was so accustomed to.

“I told Ms. Mira that we’d meet her at the teacher’s parking lot.” Evalyn explained, drawing Rayne from her thoughts, “She should be loading everything into her car already. The only other students from our school who will be there tonight are two 12th graders. They’ll be meeting you and Ms. Mira there, and they have no clue who you are.”

Rayne just nodded. Still dumbstruck by the whole thing. They passed a few students in the halls – Rayne’s heart seized up – but they barely noticed her. A few said hi to Evalyn, most just looked at Rayne curiously, but there was never any sign of recognition on their faces.

They finally exited the school. Evalyn decided that they would cut across the field to reach the parking lot a bit sooner. This meant they were passing right by a large group of boys, practicing for the first football game of the season next week. There were a few people Rayne recognized as friends of either Sebastian, Evalyn, or both of them, but thankfully Sebastian himself was not present.

Rayne had just thought they had made it into the clear when she heard a voice behind them.

“Hey Evalyn!”

They turned to see a tall muscular boy jogging up to them. He had short black hair and grey eyes. He wore a t-shirt and shorts, and was clearly sweating from the workout. Rayne recognized him as one of the football players from the previous year. His name was Jackson and Rayne knew him to be a friend of Sebastian’s. Raymond had met him on a few occasions the previous year. He had always seemed nice enough.

“Oh hey Jackson!” Evalyn greeted cheerfully, “How’s it going?”

“Not bad, just showin’ some of the newbies on the team a few things.” He said, looking at the rest of the boys he had been practicing with. Most were exhausted and out of breath.

“Wha’cha up to?” he asked, “You’re usually not around here this time of day. And who’s your friend?” He asked looking at Rayne for the first time. He looked her up and down, not giving any sign that he knew Rayne was really Raymond, or even that he thought Rayne was a boy.

Rayne blushed at the boy’s attention, “Oh, uh, I’m…” She trailed off, looking down at her feet, wishing she could just hide behind Evalyn like a scared child.

Evalyn giggled and wrapped her arm around Rayne’s shoulder.

“Sorry Jackson, this is my little cousin Rayne.” The lie rolled effortlessly off her tongue, “You’ll have to forgive her, she’s really shy. She had wanted to see my school so I was giving her a quick tour. Isn’t that right Rayne?”

Rayne gave a small nod. Still looking at her feet.

Jackson smiled warmly, “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Rayne.” He said kindly, “I have to get back to the guys, but I hope to see you around.”

He turned to go, but then stopped and looked back.

“And just so you know,” He said, “I think shy girls are cute.”

Rayne’s jaw dropped. She blushed furiously, as Jackson chuckled, winked at her, and jogged off.

The moment he was gone Evalyn started to laugh.

“He thought you were cute!” She said, “Geeze Ray, I told you that you’d be getting some admirers, I just thought they’d be girls!” she teased.

At Rayne’s horrified expression Evalyn just laughed harder.

“Evaaaaaa” Rayne whined. “It’s not funny!” She said sternly, hands on her hips.

Evalyn just laughed harder. When she had finally calmed down she pointed to the crowd of boys. Rayne followed her finger to see several of the boys, Jackson included, watching the two girls and smiling.

Rayne didn’t think she could possibly blush any brighter. With a groan, she covered her face with her hands as Evalyn began to laugh hysterically. A moment later Rayne couldn’t help it anymore and began to giggle with her. After taking a moment to catch their breath, the two continued on their way.

They found Ms. Mira leaning over in her car, making sure she had everything they would need at the showing.

“Hey Ms. Mira!” Evalyn called as they approached.

The teacher stood and turned around, “Hey Evalyn!” She called back before looking around, “Where’s Raymond?”

“Oh, he’ll be here.” She answered innocently, elbowing Rayne to play along.

Rayne didn’t know what to do. Even if she didn’t want to play along, she would have had no idea how to break the ice with her teacher.

“Well he better hurry.” Ms. Mira said impatiently, “We need to hit the road! Anyways, who’s this with you? I don’t recognize her from our sch-

She stopped and took a hard look at Rayne. What she had just said wasn’t true. There was something about this girl that was, in fact, familiar.

Her eyebrows knit themselves together as she tried to place it. Suddenly, those tightly knit brows flew apart in shock.

“Oh my God!” She exclaimed in disbelief, “Ray?!”

“Rayne.” Evalyn firmly corrected. “Her name is Rayne.”

“O-oh. Right. Of course.” Ms. Mira stammered, clearly taken off guard.

“Uh, H-hi Ms. Mira.” Came Rayne’s quiet voice. The blush returning to his face.

“You,” Ms. Mira paused to collect her thoughts, “Seriously look like a girl. I just thought you were one of Evalyn’s friends at first.”

“So did the boys on the field.” Evalyn announced, a mischievous grin on her face, “I think one might even have a crush on my precious little sister here. He called her cute.”

Ms. Mira’s eyes went wide and she tried (Unsuccessfully) to stifle a laugh.

“Evaaaaaaa.” Groaned Rayne. “Stoooooop.”

“Awww, don’t be embarrassed.” Ms. Mira teased good naturedly, “He’s probably just never seen such a pretty girl before.”

With a groan, Rayne once again covered her face with her hands, much to Ms. Mira and Evalyn’s amusement. She was starting to be thankful Evalyn made her wear her contacts. They kept her from constantly displacing her glasses when she tried to hide her face!

“Alright, enough teasing Ray…ne” Ms. Mira declared. “We have to get moving.”

“Okay, here’s the plan.” Evalyn explained, “You’re going to go to the showing with Ms. Mira. You’re going to do incredible. Then I’m going to pick you up from the convention center around 10. Sounds good?”

The first showing was taking place at a convention center as the gallery itself didn’t have the space necessary for all the students attending this stage.

“Yep.” Rayne confirmed. She could do this.

A short time later Rayne and Ms. Mira were waving to Evalyn as they pulled out of the teacher’s parking lot in Ms. Mira’s car. Soon they were zooming down the road, out of Lakewood, and on their way to Mountsview. They spent the drive discussing art, how many students they expected to be at this stage of the competition, and from what schools.

~o~O~o~

“So, are you sure you’re okay with this?” Ms. Mira asked as they pulled into the convention center parking lot.

“Okay with what?” Rayne asked, “Doing the showing? Or doing the showing dressed as a girl?”

“Either one.” Ms. Mira clarified, “Both.”

“To be honest I don’t know.” Ray explained with a heavy sigh. “What I do know is that I definitely won’t be able to do it as Raymond. Since getting dressed up earlier I’ve noticed some things though. I’m still shy like I was as Ray, and I blush. A lot.” Just saying it made her blush.

“Well then maybe we should call it off.” Ms. Mira said with a worried look on her face.

“Wait. I’m not done.” Rayne said confidently, “On the drive something occurred to me. Something big. In the past, whenever I was the center of attention, I would freeze. It would be hard to breath, I couldn’t talk, my mind would go blank, it would be all I could do to desperately hold back tears. It happened whenever people would pick on me, it happened when you called me forward in front of that room of grade 7 students, it happened all the time. I hated it.”

“Okaaay?” Said Ms. Mira. Unsure where this was going.

“But,” Rayne continued, “This afternoon, when Eva pointed out that an entire crowd of teenage boys were staring at me wearing a dress, I didn’t freeze. Sure, I blushed and was embarrassed at first. But I didn’t choke. I didn’t freeze. My mind didn’t go blank. And I didn’t cry.”

Ms. Mira nodded in understanding.

“If I’m going to do this,” Rayne pressed on, “and I want to. No. I need to do this. Then I will only be able to do it like this.” He said, gesturing to his appearance. “It might be hard, but I’ll make it though it.”

“Okay. Let’s go blow some minds.” Ms. Mira said, impressed by Rayne’s resolve and the confidence that was so rare in Raymond.

Together the two entered the building, Rayne’s heart pounding. Whether it was pounding in apprehension or excitement, she wasn’t sure.

As they walked through the door an excited voice called out, “Ms. Mira!”

A smiling teenage girl came running up, followed by a frowning teenage boy.

The girl wore a bright yellow dress that showed a little cleavage and came down to just above her knees. She had a brown belt wrapped around he waist, and a tangle of bracelets on each wrist. She wore a wide grin and her brown hair in a ponytail.

The boy was of Asian descent, had messy black hair and stud earrings. He wore a black dress shirt with a red tie and black dress pants.

The two seemed to contrast each other perfectly. The girl brightly clad and cheerful. The boy frowning and wearing clothes more fitting for a funeral than a gathering of artists.

“Hello Cynthia, Ryan.” She said, greeting each of them.

The boy, Ryan, just nodded back. Neither of them seemed to pay any heed to Rayne, standing off to the side of the small conversation. By now Rayne had worked out that these must be her upperclassmen.

After exchanging a few more words of greeting, Ms. Mira made a suggestion, “Alright, why don’t the four of us go check ourselves in, then we can find the area we’ve been assigned, and we can set up our displays. All of your work should already be here.”

“Sounds great!” Cynthia said excitedly, before pausing, “Wait. You said the four us?” she asked in confusion.

“Oh! Where are my manners.” Ms. Mira said, shaking her head, “This is Rayne,” she said gesturing to the fourth member of their party, “She’s also made it to the first showing. Rayne, I’d like you to meet Cynthia Gnoll, and Ryan Deartz. They’re the grade 12 students’ I told you about on the drive over.”

“H-hi” Rayne managed with a small wave. A wave clearly wasn’t enough for Cynthia, however, as she rushed over and grabbed Rayne’s hand in both of hers and gave it a good shake.

“Oh it’s soooo good to meet you! I can’t wait to see your work! Unless I’ve seen it around the school already! Wait, why haven’t I seen you around school? I’m sure I would remember someone as pretty as you! Especially if you’re an art student! What grade are you in? Did you go to our school last year? What kind of mediums do you like to use in your work? Maybe that will jog my memory.” Finally the bombardment ended with Cynthia looking at Rayne with an expectant smile on her face.

“Uhhhh,” was all Rayne could manage, unprepared for the rush of questions.

Ryan shook his head and spoke for the first time. “Jeeze Cynthia, give the girl some space. How can you expect her to answer your questions when you don’t give her the chance too?”

Cynthia puffed up her cheeks in annoyance, “Oh you shush Ryan. I didn’t ask your opinion, and besides, are you saying you’re NOT curious?”

“I never said that.” Ryan said with a roll of his eyes.

Both of them turned to look at Rayne expectantly.

“Uhhhh.” Rayne said, still overwhelmed.

Ryan raised an eyebrow, Cynthia’s brow furrowed suspiciously.

Ms. Mira laughed and came to Rayne’s rescue.

“Rayne’s a little shy, she’s probably just a bit overwhelmed by Cynthia’s explosive energy.” Ms. Mira explained, “Perhaps I could help answer some of your questions if Rayne doesn’t mind.”

Ms. Mira looked at Rayne with a kind smile.

Rayne had no clue how to answer some of the questions she had been asked without raising suspicions so she just nodded, “S- sure, that’d be, umm, really helpful.” She said quietly.

“Oh you’re so adorable!” Cynthia gushed at Rayne’s reaction, throwing her arms around Rayne, who just stood there awkwardly. Unsure what to do.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Ms. Mira literally just said the girl’s shy, Cynthia. Don’t you think suddenly hugging her might make her uncomfortable?”

“Oh!” Cynthia leapt back, “I’m so sorry Rayne! I never meant to make you feel that way. I’m REALLY sorry if I did!”

Rayne giggled at her reaction, “It’s fine.” She said in the small, quiet voice that was becoming commonplace.

Ms. Mira and Cynthia smiled at the cuteness Rayne didn’t realize she was giving off. Even the seemingly ever-sullen Ryan’s lips twitched upwards for second.

“Well.” Ms. Mira began, “How about I answer some of your questions now?”

At Cynthia’s eager nod and Ryan’s slightly less eager nod, Ms. Mira began.

“The reason you haven’t seen Rayne around the school is because she doesn’t attend our school.” Ms. Mira explained, “Her family lives up in the mountains and she attends a small public school in the town of Hope. The reason I’m her art teacher is because her talent had out grown the small school, and its small art program wasn’t giving her the room to grow she needed. Her art teacher was an old friend, and he reached out to me to see if we could arrange something through a distance learning program. I was interested in her from the first time I laid eyes on her work, and now here we are.”

That took Rayne off guard. She knew they would need to lie about her past, but she didn’t expect her teacher to concoct such a huge lie about her past and to feed it to two of her students so effortlessly.

“Ahhh, I see.” Remarked Cynthia, as if the whole thing made perfect sense, “You didn’t answer all of my questions though, what grade is Rayne? She looks younger than me and Ryan.”

“Yeah,” contributed Ryan, “And I’m still interested as to what mediums she prefers.”

“Well, times ticking away,” Ms. Mira said, glancing at her phone for the time, “So why don’t I go check us in, and I’ll let Rayne answer those herself.”

“Sounds fantastic!” Came Cynthia’s ever-excited voice.

Ryan just nodded.

Rayne giggled at how different the two were and found herself nodding as well.

“Alright then.” Ms. Mira said with a smile before turning and walking to the reception desk.

No sooner had she left then Cynthia turned to Rayne and asked, “So. Me first. What grade are you in and just how old ARE you?”

Ryan rolled his eyes again but didn’t object.

“Well I just started grade 9.” She began, “And I turned 14 over the summer.”

Rayne was starting to become more comfortable with the older kids. Cynthia’s energy took some getting used to, and at first Ryan had looked mean, but she now realized that they were both friendly and genuinely interested in getting to know her.

“You’re only 14?!” Cynthia exclaimed dramatically. Even Ryan’s eyebrows raised slightly.

“Umm, y-yes? Is that o-okay?” Rayne stammered nervously.

“Oh of course! It’s more than okay! It’s super impressive!” Cynthia reassured her excitedly.

“W-why is that?” Rayne asked, confused.

“It’s impressive,” Ryan began, “Because almost every student here is in the 12th grade. They’re only excepting the best student artists in the province. It’s hard to find a student in grade 11 who falls into that category. Let alone in the 9th or even the 10th grade.”

“T- the whole province?” Rayne asked nervously, suddenly becoming very self conscious. She looked around, realizing for the first time that all of the other students DID look older than her.

“Well, not the whole province.” Ryan clarified, “But the entire Vancouver area, which, when you take into account the fact that the majority of BCs population is located in Vancouver, might as well be the whole province.”

“You didn’t know the size of the competition?” Ryan asked sceptically.

“N-no. I thought it was just for students in Mountsview and the neighboring towns.” Rayne replied, wide eyed, “Great. And I was just getting over my terror.” She finished before giving a heavy sigh and slumping her head to look at her feet.

With a laugh, Cynthia pulled her into a hug, “Oh don’t you worry, we’ll be looking out for you. Isn’t that right Ryan?”

“Of course,” was his reply, “And I’ll start right now, by reminding you about personal space Cynthia.”

The older girl jumped back again. “Oh! Right! Sorry Rayne!”

Ryan shook his head, exasperated, while Rayne giggled.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind it. You actually kinda remind me of my big sister.” She said before blushing about what she had just said.

With a laugh, Cynthia said, “Oh, Well in that case!” before pulling the younger girl into another hug, causing her to giggle.

Ryan just rolled his eyes. “Girls.”

When Cynthia and Rayne broke apart he piped up, “So now can I get an answer to my question? What kind of materials do you like to use Rayne?”

Rayne put her finger to her chin, and looked up thoughtfully, “Well,” she began, “I guess I’d say… You’ll just have to wait and see!” She said teasingly, causing his jaw to drop halfway open in surprise, and Cynthia to burst into another round of laughter.

Ms. Mira chose that moment to make her return, smiling at the sight of her three students getting along so well.

“Shall we go get set up?” She asked, not surprised to be answered with three different yeses from three very different teenagers. One was loud and excited, another was nothing but a nod, and the third was so quiet it could barely be heard over the first.

~o~O~o~

A short time later they found the corner of the auditorium they had been assigned to. There was a total of 15 easels leaning against the wall. Five for each student, one for each of their pieces. Around them, other students were already getting set up. Some already were setup and had disappeared to go assess their competition.

Cynthia and Rayne went about setting up the easels for all three members of their group while Ms. Mira and Ryan went to collect their pieces.

A short time later they returned with two trolleys, all of their work carefully placed upon them. Each of the students went about setting up their displays, not paying any heed to what the others were doing next to them.

Rayne initially felt the waves of apprehension that Raymond always felt at the suggestion of sharing his art with others, but she pushed it down. Raymond WASN’T sharing his art. Rayne was. And Rayne was going to have the confidence in herself that Raymond never could.

After a few minutes, she stepped back and rested her hand in her chin, trying to decide if she had it set up the way she wanted. She had placed the five pieces in two rows, one row slightly above the other, but both around eye level for easy viewing.

The first piece – on the bottom left – was the one that had stated this whole thing. It was the drawing that depicted a sickly old man lying in a hospital bed, staring at the viewer. The whole thing was done in pencil and ink, finely detailed and shaded. The only color came from the man’s bright blue eyes and served to draw the viewers attention away from the doorway off to the side, where the figure of the grim reaper could be very faintly seen. Beneath the piece was a small title card that read ‘Patiently Waiting’ and underneath that ‘by Rayne Danahy’.

Upon seeing her last name, Rayne panicked – but only for a moment. She took a deep breath and thought about her dilemma. What would she say if Ryan or Cynthia noticed? Surely one or both of them knew either Evalyn or Sebastian. Rayne’s older siblings were pretty well known in their school. She thought back on what Evalyn had said earlier. That they were cousins. She could just go with that, but if either of them asked Sebastian then everything would fall apart.

“I’m overthinking this.” She mumbled quietly to herself, and just like that it was clear. If either of them happened to notice her last name and make the connection she would just claim she didn’t know them and that there was no relation. It was as easy as that. Taking another deep breath, she refocused on her display. That was what mattered right now.

On the top left was the second piece, entitled ‘Silently Stalking’. Done with a fine acrylic paint, it depicted a bright red sports car ripping down a highway. The hot rod itself had been painted with a fine eye for detail, whereas the environment around it was made to look blurry, enhancing the feeling that the hot rot was going faster than was considered safe. From the car’s exhaust billowed a small cloud of fumes, this was the only aspect that hadn’t been done with paint alone. Paint had been used to detail the car and blurry road beneath the smoke, but after it had dried, charcoal pencil had been used to draw on the fumes. The fumes themselves were not ordinary, but were instead shaped into a wispy skull, foreshadowing a lethal accident on the road.

The third piece was another painting, this one done in water color, and located in the middle of the bottom row. It portrayed a man leaning on the guardrail of a ship at sea during a rainy night. The man was looking up at the moon, oblivious to his surroundings, behind him, the shadowy figure of another passenger was creeping up behind him. Knife in hand. The moon itself was the brightest object in the piece, and it caused a reflection to appear in the water below the man, however the reflection did not show the man, but instead the face of death. Rayne called this piece ‘Standing in Judgment’.

The fourth piece was a colored pencil drawing, positioned on the right side of the top row. It again depicted a person in a hospital bed, however this was no old man, but a young child. They were lying in bed, large bags under their eyes, various machines and tubes connected all over their body, it was hard to say whether the child was a boy or a girl as their head was clean of hair. It didn’t take a genius to make the logical connection that the child portrayed had cancer. This piece was entitled ‘A Solemn Guardian’. The child was looking away from the viewer, and if one followed the child’s gaze, they would find the hooded figure of death faintly reflected in the window.

The final piece used a combination of several different mediums, and claimed the final spot in the bottom right. It depicted a young man, perhaps a teenager, standing on the roof of a building, his back to the viewers. Before him was a brightly lit city skyline beneath a starry night sky. The sky was done in water color, the city skyline in pencil and ink, and the building and young man in acrylic paint. Standing right next to the man was the shadowy figure of the grim reaper. ‘Bearing Witness’ was the name given to this piece.

“Incredible!” came Cynthia’s cheerful voice, drawing Rayne out of her thoughts.

“Oh! Um, you really think so?” Rayne squeaked, she hadn’t noticed the group approach.

She looked over to see Ryan, and Ms. Mira on her other side, admiring her work.

“Absolutely! It never even occurred to me to connect the pieces in my portfolio to each other!”, she elaborated, “It really adds to the collection as a whole!”

“I completely agree,” Ryan contributed, “and your use of mediums is so diverse, if it weren’t for the theme they all shared I wouldn’t even think they were done by the same person. It really shows off what you’re capable of. I’m actually kind of annoyed I didn’t think of it first.”

“W-what?” Rayne stammered, blushing at the compliments, “It’s really not that special. I’m sure your pieces are miles above mine!”

The group couldn’t help but smile at her humility.

“C’mon, show me!” Rayne said, grabbing Cynthia and Ryan’s hands and pulling them over to the next display. The two older students’ having a kind-hearted chuckle at her embarrassment.

The five pieces they now looked at was a series of still lifes portraying nature. One was of a waterfall in the mountains, another of a rainforest. A third depicted a sunny meadow, and another a pretty piece of farmland. The fifth painting Rayne recognized as the lake near her home. The vary lake that had given the town of Lakewood its name. One thing all the paintings had in common was the bright, vibrant colors, and the incredibly fine brush strokes used for detail.

“Wow!” Rayne said, truly impressed, “Those colors are so beautiful! And the attention to detail is incredible! These are amazing Cynthia!”

There was a short pause, Rayne turned to look at her companions, Ms. Mira and Cynthia were smiling and trying to hold back laughter, Ryan was pointedly avoiding looking at any of them.

“What?” Rayne asked, confused, “Do you disagree?”

“No, no. Not at all.” Cynthia explained, giggling, she continued, “I actually agree completely. I wish I could create paintings like this.”

Rayne’s brow furrowed, “Wait, these aren’t yours? Then… these are Ryan’s?!” she exclaimed in disbelief.

Now it was Ryan’s turn to blush. A welcome change for Rayne. He said nothing at first, just put his hands in his pockets and looked at the roof.

“But they’re all just so,” Rayne paused, at a loss for words. “colorful. And Ryan’s so,” She paused again, turning to look at the boy, who was still pointedly not meeting her gaze, before finishing flatly, “Not.”

Ms. Mira and Cynthia couldn’t hold it back any longer, they burst into laughter. Ryan just gave a heavy sigh and a characteristic eye roll.

“Sorry Rayne,” Ms. Mira explained, “It’s kind of an inside joke between the three of us.”

“You mean the two of you.” Ryan interrupted.

Ms. Mira ignored him and continued, “Ryan is always so sullen and quiet, and he dresses almost solely in plain dark clothes, but then he paints. And his paintings are the complete opposite in every way. They’re always so bright, and happy, and full of color!”

“I have never once claimed to dislike color.” Ryan said, defending himself. “I just dislike wearing it.” He finished lamely, looking away again.

“Sorry Ryan!” Rayne exclaimed, taking his hands in hers, “I think your paintings are absolutely beautiful! I hope I didn’t offend you by assuming they were Cynthia’s or by saying you’re not colorful.” Rayne gushed, genuinely concerned she may have unintentionally hurt Ryan’s feelings.

“That’s sweet of you to say.” He said, reassuring her, “But people say stuff like that all the time, that my work doesn’t fit my personality, and it doesn’t bother me. I know who I am, I know my style, and more importantly, I like them.”

“Wow.” Rayne said quietly, “You’re incredible!” she said, barely above a whisper, “I wish I could be half as self-assured and confident as you are.”

“Don’t stress it Rayne, you’ll figure it out.” He said gently, “Now, if you thought my work wasn’t fitting. Wait until you see Cynthia’s”

“Oh man, this is gonna be priceless.” Chipped in Cynthia gleefully, “C’mon!” she said, grabbing Rayne’s hand, “Let me show you MY masterpieces!”

Cynthia led Rayne over to the next display. When Rayne saw it, her jaw dropped.

For someone as cheerful as Cynthia, Rayne wasn’t expecting her work to be so… dark. All five pieces were done almost entirely in pencil, ink pen, and charcoal. Each piece was carefully shaded and carefully detailed.

Her first piece looked like a scene from a zombie apocalypse. People were running in fear from the lumbering forms of the zombies, except all of the zombies were wide eyed children. Pale and grotesque, but morbidly cute. They were chasing after the townsfolk. Trying to eat them. The second image was of an angel, but instead of feathery wings of light, her wings were made of bone, and she was chained to the ground. The third piece was of a face, but it wasn’t just a face. Cynthia had drawn it so it looked like a face covered by something, it made the illusion of a person pushing their face against a piece of paper, trying to break through, on either side there was also a hand, drawn in the same style, seemingly straining to break out of the drawing. Her fourth piece was the only one with any color. In the center of the page, slightly closer to the top, was a human heart, colored a bright red. Beneath the heart was a mountain of twisting, writhing zombies, skeletons, and other monsters. All of them clambering over each other, fighting, shoving, pushing, trying to reach the heart first. The final piece was of a massive battle, on one side there was an army of soldiers, knights, kindly looking wizards, and what Rayne imagined the heroes of the books she always read must look like. Opposite them was an army of monsters. There were orcs and goblins, imps and warlocks, zombies and other undead. Suspended in the air above the conflict, a massive demon and angel were locked in battle. The side of the angel was lightly shaded to look bright, whereas the demon’s side was shaded much more heavily to look dark.

Rayne didn’t know what to say. Ryan was exactly right. This was not even close to the kind of work she had been expecting from Cynthia. It was the complete opposite.

Ms. Mira laughed, Ryan smiled, and Cynthia looked ferociously proud of herself and her work.

“That’s our Cynical Cynthia for you.” Ms. Mira declared.

“These are incredible!” Rayne exclaimed, “How did you get away with doing these at school though? I was pushing the line by portraying the grim reaper in my work, but this goes soooooo past the line.”

Cynthia giggled at the younger girls’ reaction, “Well obviously, I just didn’t do these at school. I did them at home during my free time.” She said, as if that explained everything.

Ms. Mira elaborated further, “To be honest, I had never thought Cynthia was particularly gifted,” Rayne looked at her in disbelief, “but at the time I only ever saw the work she did in art class, it was only when I told the class about this event that she shared her private works with me.”

“Why? Wasn’t the work she did in class as good?” Rayne asked, trying to put the puzzle together.

Cynthia giggled and then explained, “In class I can never do the work I want to do. Because we’re in a catholic school, there’s a line we can’t really go pass without getting in trouble, right? Well I could never get inspired without passing that line, without inspiration I couldn’t put my heart into my work, and without that, the end results were less than great. I had no reason to share my private work with anyone, so I didn’t. Well, except for Ryan of course. He caught me sketching in math class one day and realized my real style was very different from what I produced in class.”

“I see.” Was all Rayne could say.

“Well,” Ms. Mira began, “It’s only 6 o’clock, the judges aren’t due in our section for another hour and a half, so why don’t we go look at some of the competition and then get some dinner?”

Rayne nodded eagerly. Her mind had been blown already, and she had only seen the displays of the other students from her own school.

~o~O~o~

It was 7:15 when they made it back to their displays. They had spent so long looking at the other displays that they hadn’t had time to grab dinner, not that Rayne was particularly hungry anyways. Her stomach was tied in knots and doing backflips from the nerves. She slumped down in the chair that each student had been provided with.

“What’s wrong Rayne?” asked Cynthia, sensing something was up.

“Everyone’s just sooooo talented.” Rayne said, “I feel like I don’t deserve to be here.” Rayne looked at her work. Compared to all the incredible pieces she had just seen; her own work was now looking rather shoddy to her.

“You’re half right.” Ryan said, having overheard her.

“No, she couldn’t be more wrong.” Cynthia bristled, misunderstanding and annoyed by their friend’s intrusion.

“Really?” He asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow, “You don’t think everyone hear is talented?”

Understanding dawned on Cynthia’s face, “Ooooooh. I see what you mean.”

Ryan shook his head and looked down at Rayne, in a gentle voice he said, “You’re right. All of the student’s in this room ARE incredibly gifted. They wouldn’t be here if they weren’t. But the same is true for you. If you didn’t deserve to be here, you wouldn’t be here. It’s as simple as that. They may be more experienced than you, but that’s to be expected. Most of them are 3 grades ahead of you. But you are just as talented, if not more talented to be here at such a young age.”

“R-Really?” Rayne said hesitantly.

“Of course!” cheered the ever-happy voice of Cynthia.

“Thanks guys.” Rayne said, “I needed that. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I’ve been so excited, but at the same time terrified, and you two have really helped.”

With a squeal, Cynthia pulled her into another hug, Ryan just smiled and nodded.

Ms. Mira walked up then, “The judges are right around the corner. There’s a small crowd of other students and teachers following along to hear their opinions. Are you all ready?” she asked the group, really only worried about one of them.

They all said yes in their own way, and soon, the judges were in sight. Everyone stood by their displays, patiently waiting as the judges critiqued other students. Rayne looked around, now that she was a bit calmer she noticed that she was hardly the only nervous student.

She listened and watched as the judges and their tagalongs grew ever closer. Before she knew it they were at Cynthia’s station, eyebrows raised in amusement at the bubbly cheerful girl with the dark cynical artwork. A short time later they were at Ryan’s display. She watched as he politely shook each of their hands before standing attentively, hands clasped comfortably behind his back.

She took a deep breath and released it in a long heavy sigh. She smoothed out her dress, and tried to adjust her glasses, settling for scratching her nose when she remembered her contacts. Her time had come. The judges approached her display, the spectators fanning out behind them.

“Hello.” The lead judge said, offering his hand, she took it tentatively, expecting the firm handshake men always gave to other men, she was instead surprised to find it to be quite gentle.

“My name is Bernardo Gyerdavard, but please, just call me Berny. These are my colleagues, Mrs. Gale Tanner, and Mr. Martin Smith.”

She shook each of their hands as they were offered.

“H-hello, p-pleased to meet you.” She said in a small voice, cursing herself inwardly for stuttering.

Berny smiled warmly before squinting down at the clip board he was carrying.

“Rayneh Danahy? Am I saying that right?” he looked at her expectantly.

“Um, n- no sir.” She squeaked, “Just R- Rayne sir. Like the weather.” She explained. Like the weather? Ugh. She felt like an idiot.

“Rayne,” he said warmly, “Relax. We’re just gonna have a little talk about you and your work.”

She took a deep breath and nodded.

“So,” Mr. Smith began, looking at his own papers, “I see here you’re only 14 years old, just starting grade 9. Is this correct?” he asked, looking up.

“O- oh, um, yes sir, Mr. Smith sir.” She said, before blushing over her blathering.

The man just smiled.

All of a sudden Rayne heard a snigger from the audience. Looking over she saw a girl she didn’t recognize looking at her and smirking nastily.

“Oh really?” Mrs. Tanner asked, clearly not aware of that, “So how do you feel being the youngest student in this whole event?”

Rayne was suddenly very aware of all the people looking at her. There were eyes everywhere. Oh God. What had he been thinking doing this. Raymond’s chest started to seize. He stopped breathing. His mind was going blank. Oh God. He was just a boy in a dress in front of a-

Stop.

You’re not Raymond. You’re Rayne. You can do this. Rayne forced the rising panic back down.

She was back in control.

“Terrified.” Rayne answered honestly.

The judges and the crowd chuckled.

“So, what can you tell us about your display?” Mrs. Taylor asked gently.

“It all started with a book I was reading,” Rayne began, the nervousness slowly leaving her voice as she spoke, “It occurred to me that all throughout literature, popular culture, religion, all over the place really, death is viewed as a negative force.” She explained, looking around, “and to an extent it makes sense for people to fear it, it’s the end of our life. No one knows what will happen next. But then I started thinking about the personification of death, the grim reaper if you will, who has appeared in various mythologies, in some way or another, around the world for hundreds of years.”

Rayne looked around, people were listening, although some looked confused.

“I began to wonder why death was so often portrayed as evil. Assuming Death was a real being, then why should be afraid of him or her? At the end of our lives, Death is there to help us move on. To guide our souls to whatever comes next. That’s what inspired my first piece, ‘Patiently Waiting’.”

She took a step to the side, placing herself directly in front of her second piece, and gestured to her first. Now she had their full attention.

“In ‘Patiently Waiting’ we see an old man, sick and dying. He knows Death will come eventually, but as he has lived a long life, he is not afraid. And sure enough, Death is patiently waiting for the man to join him.”

Rayne turned back to the audience.

“After I finished this, it occurred to me that not everyone is lucky enough to live long enough to die from old age, so I began to work on my second piece.” Stepping to the side so she was no longer directly in front of it, but in front of her third piece instead, Rayne gestured to her second piece.

“I call this ‘Silently Stalking’” she continued, “A young man and his friends are ripping down the highway, way beyond the speed limit, just enjoying the ride. But death follows close behind, he has no plans to kill them, no, they’ll do that themselves. But he will be there for them when they do.”

Continuing along, Rayne stepped out of the way of her third piece, before addressing the audience directly once again.

“It was after this piece that I stumbled across ‘The four manners of death’ A forensics concept used to classify death. I realized that the two pieces I just described for you each represented one of the four manners, those being ‘Natural Causes’ and ‘Accidental death’ respectively. This inspired me to create something for the last two manners of death, which brings me to my next piece.”

Rayne gestured to the painting of the ship murder. “This is ‘Standing in Judgment’, it depicts a man peacefully watching the moon and stars, moments before his murder. Death waits for the man to join him, just as he will wait for the killer when their time comes. Though I’d like to think he’ll be less welcoming at that time. This portrays the third manner of death, ‘homicide’.”

“It was at this point that I decided to revisit the first manner of death, I didn’t think a man dying of old age truly captured ‘natural causes’ as ‘natural causes’ refers to so much more. Such as terminal diseases.”

With that Rayne stepped out of the way once again, revealing the drawing of the cancer patient.

“This,” she said, looking around at the audience, “Is ‘A Solemn Guardian’, in my opinion it’s one of the more powerful pieces I’ve ever created, as who hasn’t lost someone to cancer? In ‘A Solemn Guardian’ we see a little girl, struggling with cancer. Her family isn’t ready to let her go, but both she and Death know her time is coming.”

Stepping to the side she introduced her final piece, “This is the last piece I have for you today, it depicts Death standing side by side with a young man. The man is aware of death’s presence, and grateful for it. I call it ‘Bearing Witness’”

She stood for a moment, looking at the multi-medium drawing, contemplating saying more. Finally, deciding that she’d spoken enough, she turned back to the judges.

“I’ve been working on these for almost a year now, before I even heard about this event, so I just want to say that regardless of how far I make it in this event, I cannot express enough how grateful I am for all of you taking the time to listen to me and look at my work. Thank you so very much.”

There was some small applause, drawing a blush from Rayne, something she was getting used too by now.

“I have to say,” began Berny, “I am incredibly impressed to see so much thought and symbolism put into a piece by a high school student, especially one as young as you.”

“I couldn’t have put it better myself,” added Mr. Smith, “I believe I know what you’ll say, but for the benefit of everyone present, what manner of death is portrayed in ‘Bearing Witness’?”

Rayne hesitated momentarily before speaking.

“It’s, uh, suicide sir.” She said solemnly.

“I thought as much.” He nodded slowly.

“You said that you believe ‘A Solemn Guardian’ is one of the most powerful pieces you’ve ever created,” said Mrs. Tanner, clicking her pen, “But I got the feeling that your fifth piece, ‘Bearing Witness’ was a lot more meaningful to you.”

Rayne hesitated for a moment.

“Um, well,” She stammered, before taking a deep breath and continuing confidently, “Let’s just say it reminds me of a very dark time in my life, and leave it at that.”

Berny nodded in understanding, “Well, thank you very much for sharing your work with us Rayne, I believe I am not alone in saying that I expect I have not seen the last of you.”

With that, each of the judges shook her hand again, before moving on to the next display.

Rayne had just enough time to take a deep breath and shake off the last of her nerves before she was dragged into a huge hug by Cynthia.

“Rayne that was incredible! No one else had such a great story to accompany their display!” She gushed excitedly.

“Stoooop,” Rayne groaned, “It wasn’t that great, it was all that I could do to not collapse.”

Ms. Mira and Ryan joined them. Ms. Mira had a tear in her eye, “You’re wrong Rayne, it WAS that great. It was beautiful. I didn’t know you were preparing anything like that.” Ryan just nodded in agreement.

“To be honest, I wasn’t” Rayne explained, “I was really scared and nervous at first, and I almost broke down, but then I…” Rayne trailed off, after a slight pause she continued, “I don’t know. It just pulled it together somehow and spoke from the heart.”

“Well it was beautiful.” Said Ms. Mira genuinely, “Now what do you kids say about getting some dinner?”

Rayne realized that now that her critique was over she was starving, with everyone in agreement they decided to pack up and grab a late dinner, before spending some more time exploring the showing, and then finally heading home.

~o~O~o~

The rest of the night seemed to fly by. Over dinner, Cynthia did ask about Rayne’s last name. As she planned, Rayne claimed no relation. Cynthia excepted this immediately, but Ryan stared at her oddly for a moment. He didn’t say anything though, and soon the conversation moved on. Before Rayne knew it, she was giving Cynthia, Ms. Mira, and even Ryan a hug goodbye. She exchanged phone numbers with the other student’s so they could keep in touch, and left to meet her sister.

When Evalyn pulled up, Rayne hopped into her car excitedly. She couldn’t wait to tell her everything, she barely even said ‘Hello’ before she exploded. Evalyn just listened happily as Rayne gushed about how well it had gone.

Finally, Rayne collapsed back into her seat. Exhausted.

“Don’t relax yet,” Evalyn teased, now that Rayne was done her story, “You need to be Raymond again by the time we get home. There’s makeup wipes in my purse, and a bag of clothes in the back. Start changing while I drive. You can leave the panties and bra on until we get home, but everything else needs to be all Raymond by then.”

Nodding, Rayne began following her sisters instructions, wiping off the little bit of makeup she had been wearing, and then struggling to change clothes in a moving vehicle.

Before she knew it, she was Raymond once more. All of the clothes Rayne had worn, except for the lingerie, was stuffed into the bag, and soon, they were arriving home.

They were walking in the door when Evalyn noticed that Ray was still wearing the clipon earrings, she quickly reached up and pulled them off as their Mom walked into the room and ushered them into the living room where the family was waiting.

“Soooooooo, tell us about your date!” His Mom said excitedly.

His father and Sebastian were also clearly eager to know how it had gone.

“O-oh, uhh, it really wasn’t anything special.” He said trying to play it down. “We really just hung out for a bit and then went to the movies.”

“C’mon son!” Jameson pitched in, “It was your first date! Of course, it was special! What was her name?”

“Uhhh,” he said, trying to collect his thoughts, his first thought was to say Rayne, but he couldn’t say that. “Cynthia.”

It was technically the truth.

After some more awkward grilling by his family, he finally managed to escape to his room. As he closed the door he let out a heavy sigh and went to sit down. Moments later he crashed, exhausted from the long exciting day.

~o~O~o~

The next morning, thankfully a Saturday, Raymond woke up around 10 o’clock. He desperately needed to use the washroom. After doing his business he quickly showered, then, after getting out, he looked into the mirror.

That was all it took. The prison door slammed shut. The sense of wrongness came rushing back, stronger than ever. He was struggling to breath. His skin itched. He wanted to rip it off. Tears started pouring down his face. He was trapped. He was back in the box, and it was smaller than ever.

Raymond ran back to his room, closed the door behind him, threw himself into his bed, and sobbed.

How could he go back to living as miserable Raymond after the freedom he felt as Rayne?

 

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Greetings and salutations.

Flummox here.

I'm so sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I won't try and make excuses.

Life just gets in the way sometimes, ya know? The last several weeks have been very busy at work, and a bit stressful. On top of that, I've been having a hard time contacting my proof reader, so I had to take a step back and edit this chapter completely by myself. I did my best, but I'm sure I missed some errors, and I'm so sorry if the quality suffered because of it.

I just realized that after saying I wouldn't make excuses, that I went ahead and made excuses. Oops.

Anyways, in the future, if there's going to be delays, I'll make one of those blog post thingys saying why. I thought about doing it for this chapter, since I literally just said in the last chapter that I'd be posting every week, but I didn't know if anyone would see it.

I really hate disappointing you all. Especially after how kind you've been to me. I'm gonna try and post an extra chapter this week or next to make it up to you, although I seem to be really bad at following through with what I say. I honestly don't understand why I have so much trouble posting on time. Like I've said before, I have quite a bit more written, it's just a matter of editing it. It frustrates me that I can never seem to get that done on time.

Anyways, as usual, if you liked it, please leave me a message or a comment. It may take me a few days, but I've been trying to respond to every message and comment I receive.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will continue to be patient with me.

Flummox.

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A Blank Page
Chapter 7
By Flummox

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“Lunch is ready. You getting up?” Catalina called out, sticking her head into her youngest son’s room. She could see him there, lying in bed. It was oddly late for him to still be sleeping. Raymond usually liked to get up at a decent hour on the weekends. It was odd for him to sleep the day away like this.

“Not hungry.” Came his muffled reply. He barely stirred from where he was laying.

“Okay,” Catalina replied, baffled by her child’s uncharacteristic behavior. “I’ll set some aside for you in case you change your mind.”

He mumbled an inaudible acknowledgement into his pillow, and while Catalina couldn’t make out what he said, she accepted it and departed, closing the door behind her. She left his room, pondering what could put him into such a state, hoping he was just having a rare lazy day and that it wasn’t something more serious.

“Where’s Ray?” Jameson asked as his wife joined him and the older kids at the kitchen table.

“He said he wasn’t hungry.” Catalina said, shrugging.

“Ray not hungry?” Sebastian asked sceptically, “At noon on a Saturday?”

Catalina could only shrug again. She didn’t know what else to say.

Sebastian mirrored her shrug and went back to his meal.

That answer would only satisfy him for so long however. A a short time later, after helping clean up, he found himself approaching his brother’s door. He paused outside and was about to knock, when he heard noises from inside. It sounded like a game. If he was playing a game he was out of bed, that meant he would be out soon surely. Raymond hadn’t gone on a day long gaming binge in months, since before the summer, before he and Sebastian started working out together. It used to be a regular occurrence, for Raymond to cloister himself away, spending all his time playing games or reading, avoiding his problems and anyone who might be able to help them. It was different now though. Things had changed. He would definitely be out soon. Sebastian was sure of it.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“BLEEEGH”

Maggie dove forward, nimbly slipping between the two Gapers that slowly stalked after her. She spun around and did the only thing she could do. She cried on them. Her tears flew through the air and smacked into one of the two Gapers. A moment later it’s head burst apart. The headless corpse began to walk randomly around the room. Dangerous blood bullets now occasionally squirting from its neck.

Gapers looked like small, cute, little kids. They had big happy smiles and bright eyes. Bright eyes that were constantly crying, despite the happy smile. Constantly crying blood. When you killed a Gaper, it rarely just died. No, that would be too easy. After death, a gaper might become either a Gusher or a Pacer. Pacers were headless corpses. They walked around the room aimlessly as, without eyes, they could no longer find their prey. A Gusher was the same thing as a Pacer, except in addition to wandering aimlessly they would squirt painful blood bullets from their wound. This one was a Gusher.

“Ray?” a voice called out, drawing Maggie’s attention from the battle, “Do you want to talk?”

She recognized it to be the voice of her mother. No, not HER mother, thank God. The voice of her controller’s mother. A much more pleasant person then Maggie’s own mother. A shudder ran through her at the thought.

“No. I’m good.”

A few tears later, and Maggie had managed to deal with the rest of the Gapers and whatever came after. She turned to her left and took a deep breath. Before her was a simple door, it had opened by itself once the last enemy had died. There was nothing distinguishing about the door, except for a large grey skull mounted above it. The skull signaled it to be the domain of the floor boss. She had no choice but to proceed, Mother was hunting her after all.

She slipped through the door, hearing it lock shut behind her.

Floating in the air before her was a huge – probably two to three times her size – floating corpse. The eyes were nothing but empty pits, and there was a large Y shaped autopsy scar on its chest. As she entered, its face spread into a horrific grin.

Maggie could only grin grimly herself. Duke of flies. Lucky her, she had gotten an easy one.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Maggie dove out of the way as Mother’s massive foot stomped down. If she hadn’t noticed the shadow of warning on the ground when she did, Maggie would be in a lot of pain right now. She spun around and fired her tears at her Mother’s monstrous foot, her tormenter was almost finished, just a bit more and-

A knock on the door.

“Ray, can we talk?” It was a manly voice this time. “If this is about me grilling you about your date last night, I didn’t mean to hurt you with anything I said. I was just joking around, I’m sorry if you’re feeling this way because of me.”

“No Dad, it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. I just.” Pause. “I just need to be left alone right now.”

“ISAAAC” Mother’s voice screamed, drawing Maggie back to her own fight. It was odd how Mother still called her Isaac. It was the wrong name. She wasn’t Isaac. Not anymore.

A few more tear bullets later, and Mother was apparently slain. Apparently. Maggie knew she wasn’t completely finished yet. She had done this before.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Maggie crept through the bloody chamber. She had changed so much over the course of her journey. She had started as a bright eyed little bo- girl. With bright golden hair that definitely wasn’t a wig. Definitely. Now she had a coat hanger partially impaled in one side of her head, an odd growth sprouting from the other. If she looked up she could see a golden halo floating above her. She had flies buzzing around her too. Thankfully, they were apparently friendly flies. Unlike most flies in this labyrinth. She had picked up a wide array of knickknacks as well. Bottles of pills, body parts, satanic symbols, weird food items, the list went on.

The labyrinth had also undergone a metamorphosis. She had started in the basement of their house. Simple. Basement had given way to caves, and the caves to an odd crypt. Now the crypt had become this. When she said she was in a bloody chamber, she didn’t just mean a chamber covered in blood. The walls here literally seemed to be made out of blood. Maggie shuddered at the thought. She had found the boss room however. Maggie didn’t know what knew horror she would face beyond those doors – That’s a lie. She totally did. Or at least her controller did. – But she had no other choice. She stepped through.

Another knock came right as she did so.

“Ray?” called the voice of his older brother. “Can we talk?”

A deep, shaky breath. “Can it wait Seb? I really need some space right now.”

There was a long silence before his brother replied.

“Yeah. Sure. Whenever you’re ready come grab me.”

Ray listened to the footsteps as his brother retreated back downstairs.

“What does a GUY have to do to get some peace around here?” he snarled to himself, spitting one word in particular with disgust. He shook his head and returned to ‘The Binding of Isaac’.

It was a dark, morbid game, filled with biblical references and disturbing motifs. It told the story of a boy named Isaac (Or in this case another playable character, Magdalene) as (s)he flees from her mother who has supposedly received a message from God. A message telling her to sacrifice her only child. The entire game was done in a very cutesy, cartoony art style. Most of the abominations, while sickening, had an undeniable morbid cuteness about them. Ultimately, the game was perfect for his current tumultuous mood, but probably not helping it improve.

Maggie weaved as quickly as she could between volley after volley of blood bullets.

“ISSSAAAAAGlUGH” The abomination half-roared half-gurgled. The monsters name was simply ‘It Lives’. It was a gooey, bloody, mess of a thing, vaguely shaped to resemble a person. It hung from the roof of the seemingly alive room, suspended by trails of organs. It wasn’t pleasant to say the least. It was the last remainder of Mother, although how it had gotten so far ahead of Maggie she would never know.

The distraction had caused her to take some hits. She couldn’t let this go on for much longer. So, she didn’t. A few moments later, ‘It Lives’ crumbled to the ground, finally vanquished. And yet, no way back out appeared. The last remnant of Mother was gone, but only two things were revealed. A trap door, like the one’s she had been following all along, and a ray of light. Both would just bring her deeper into the labyrinth. She stepped into the ray of light.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The ray of light had led to a templelike area. It had stain glass windows and beautiful stone walls and floors. It also had angels. Angels that tried to kill her. Like everything else in here. There were also more horrors and abominations. Maggie had fought them all off, monsters and angels alike, taking relatively few hits herself in the process. Now she was at the boss door once more. Without hesitation, she passed through. Lying on the floor inside, curled up into a ball and crying, was an exact duplicate of the titular, and main playable character, Isaac. Maggie dove into action, pouring out tear bullets as Isaac did the same from his prone position.

Yet another knock, although this time, there was no call, there was no waiting. She just walked in, and closed the door behind her.

“Eva, please. I really need some space right now.” He said, trying to maintain a steady voice. He failed.

“No. You don’t need space.” She announced, sitting down next to him, “You need your big sister. Whatever’s bugging you, who can you tell if you can’t tell me?” She asked as the game over screen flashed open on the computer in front of him.

“WHY CAN’T ANY OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!” Ray exploded, his frustrations and fears bursting free to lash out at his sister. One of the few people that could keep him from falling back into the pit of melancholy he had only finally escaped from last spring.

Evalyn froze. He could see the hurt in her eyes. Written across her face. Why had he done that? Why had he said that? Evalyn was always there for him. She had helped him and listened to his problems without judgement. Without another word, she rose and walked towards the door.

“Wait.” Came the strangled sob as she reached for the doorknob.

She turned to look at him, face cold and emotionless.

“I’m sorry Eva.” Ray mumbled, desperately trying to hold back tears and push through the knot in his throat.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. Everythings just-

He looked up to meet her gaze, tears leaking from his eyes.

“Everything’s. Just. So. FUCKED.”

Finally, he broke down, game forgotten, sobbing into his hands.

To his surprise, he felt arms wrap themselves around him. He looked up through bleary eyes to see that his sister had returned. Despite his harsh words, she had come back. Her love only made him cry harder. After a few moments – Several minutes really – he stopped shaking, and Evalyn moved back so she could look into his eyes.

“Now tell me what has you so upset.” She said in a tone that wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“It’s about last night.” He began.

“Well obviously,” She said teasingly, “What I don’t understand is what it was last night. You were so excited and happy when I picked you up.”

“Do you remember the other week? When I told you how I had always felt uncomfortable in my skin?” he asked.

“How could I forget?” she asked back.

Ray closed his eyes, remembering how he had felt at the showing the previous night.

“Last night, after I got dressed up as Rayne, all the feelings of wrongness, all the feelings of being trapped and uncomfortable that I’ve lived with my whole life, they all just disappeared. For a short time last night, I was free from them. It was incredible. I felt better than I ever have before. Then, this morning, I woke up and took a shower. When I got out, I saw myself in the mirror, and all those feelings of wrongness came flooding back, except now they’re so much worse. I don’t know what to do.”

He opened his eyes and looked into his sisters, his eyes began to fill with tears again.

“And now you’re gonna think I’m a freak.”

“No, Raymond, no.” she said, drawing him into another hug, “I would never think that about you.”

“But it’s true.” He sobbed, “I’ve been trying to distract myself, to keep myself from thinking about it, all day. But I can’t. I was happier as a girl for a few hours last night then I ever have been as a boy.”

“Shhhh,” she whispered, stroking his hair to calm him.

“Ray.” She began when he had calmed down. “We need to tell Mom and Dad. They’ll understand. They can help”

“NO.” Ray said, louder then he intended, “They won’t! The whole family already thinks I’m weird. I’m a big enough burden as it is.”

“Is that what you think?” she asked gently, “No one thinks of you that way.”

“How could they not? How could YOU not?” He demanded miserably, “All of you are always having to protect me. Even just now! I blow up on you for no reason, and the next moment you’re comforting me. Brothers are supposed to protect their sisters. Not the other way around. We can’t tell them.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she said slowly, “Maybe brothers ARE supposed to protect their sisters, I really don’t know. But I DO know that sisters can protect sisters, and maybe you were meant to be my little sister.”

Ray looked at her in disbelief.

“Listen to me.” Evalyn said, “I don’t understand what you’re going though. I can’t claim I do. But I will be here to support you no matter what. If you don’t want to tell Mom and Dad, that’s fine. But we NEED to tell someone. We can’t handle this by ourselves.”

“Who?” Came the small voice.

Evalyn sighed heavily. “I don’t know yet, but I have an idea. Just believe in me. Okay?”

Ray gave a small nod. A few minutes later he fell asleep to horrible nightmares of monsters, and abominations, and a hateful family.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Okay lazybones, it’s time to get up. You spent all of yesterday in bed and lying around playing games. Now we have a busy day ahead of ourselves.”

Evalyn’s voice dragged him from his fitful slumber.

“Huh? Eva? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about me and you silly.” She declared, “We’re gonna spend the day out on the town.”

Raymond sat up and looked at her.

“I’m not really in the mood today Eva.”

She nodded understandingly, “Yeah, after yesterday I didn’t think Raymond would be.” She said, referring to him as if he wasn’t there, “But I thought Rayne might be.”

That got his attention.

“Wait. What are you saying?” he asked slowly.

She sat down on his bed. “Mom, Dad, and Seb have gone to Grandma and Grandpa’s for dinner. I told them the truth, that you weren’t feeling well, and that I was gonna stay home to take care of you.”

He just stared at her.

“Look, if you really don’t want to we don’t have to.” She said, “But my experience with Rayne on Friday night was mostly limited to teasing her and making her blush, and I’d really like the chance to spend time with my little sister for real. If you’ll let me.”

Slowly Ray smiled, “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the day.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
About an hour later they were ready to go. Rayne was wearing the same outfit as Friday night, because frankly, she didn’t have any other girl clothes in her size. They left the house at 11 in the morning, and arrived at the mall in Mountsview at 12. Evalyn had decided that they would play it safe and make the hour drive, as there were less people who might recognize them in the neighboring town.

“First thing’s first.” Annonced Evalyn, “we need to get you some proper underwear.”

“U-underwear?” Rayne stammered, putting on her usual blush.

“Yeah girl!” Evalyn declared. “You can’t always wear the same ones, that’s gross and boring. We’re just gonna get you two or three sets for now.”

It took some coaxing and encouragement, but soon a very nervous Rayne was following Evalyn though a Victoria’s Secret, clutching at her sister’s arm.

“Relax Rayne.” Evalyn said gently, “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Hi! My name’s Sherry. Can I help you with anything ladies?” came the perky voice of one of the employees.

Rayne ducked behind her sister, prompting giggles from both of the other girls.

“Sorry,” Evalyn explained, Rayne peeking out from behind her like a small child, “My little sister is terribly shy. We were just here to do some shopping for her.”

“Oh, I see” The woman said in understanding, “Hey sweetie.” She said with a wave at Rayne.

After a moment’s hesitation Rayne gave a small wave in return.

The woman smiled and turned back to Evalyn, “I’ll leave you two to it then, but I’ll be just over there if you need me.” She said, gesturing to a nearby shelf.

“Thank you so much,” Evalyn replied, “C’mon Rayne, lets go.”

They went around the store, looking at various items, finally Evalyn turned to Rayne.

“Okay, I really should have done this at home, and I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it, but we need to get your bust measured.”

Rayne went white as a sheet.

“C-c-can’t I just get a small?” the terrified girl asked innocently.

“Oh my dear,” Sherry said, joining them having overheard their conversation, “I know it’s scary, but bra sizes just aren’t that simple.”

Rayne blushed and looked at the floor.

“Now,” she said gently, “How about you come with me, I’ll quickly take your measurements, and then we’ll find you something comfortable. Okay?”

“O- o- okay.” Rayne stammered.

Evalyn gave her a nod of encouragement as Sherry took her by the hand and led her to one of the fitting rooms.

“Okay Miss,” Sherry began, talking to her like one might talk to a small child, “I’m gonna unzip you, and we’ll just lower your dress, just for a moment, and then we can get to the fun part okay?”

Rayne just closed her eyes and followed Sherry’s instructions, and before she knew it, Sherry was telling her she was done. Quickly pulling her dress back up, they went back to find Evalyn.

“Can you tell her what I told you dear?” Sherry asked Rayne when they found her big sister.

“36A.” Rayne said, barely above a whisper.

“Good job!” Sherry said encouragingly, “And don’t be embarrassed about the size sweetie, some girls just develop a bit slower then others.”

Evalyn thanked Sherry for her help. Soon Evalyn had picked out a few different lingerie sets. Leading Rayne to a changing room, she had Rayne take off her dress and try on each one, insisting that Rayne put on the bras by herself for practice.

Twenty minutes later they checked out with four matching lingerie sets. Pale pink, light green, black lace, and the final one – plain white.

Back in the mall proper, Rayne took a deep breath.

“That was horrible!” She exclaimed.

“Oh come on.” Evalyn argued happily, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes it was!” Rayne insisted, “That woman was so patronizing! She kept talking to me like I was 5!”

Evalyn laughed.

“Rayne, sweetie.” She waited until Rayne looked at her before continuing, “You WERE kinda acting like a 5-year-old.”

Rayne gasped. “No I was not.” She said indignantly.

“Rayne. You were hiding behind me like a scared child. And you had that adorable st- st- st- stutter.” Evalyn teased.

“W-well, it’s like you said.” Rayne said, grasping at straws, “I’m j-just a little shy is all.”

Evalyn snorted with laughter.

“What now?” Rayne asked, rolling her eyes.

“You just did the stutter again.” Evalyn managed between laughs.

Rayne tried to look unimpressed, but she couldn’t help it. A moment later, she was giggling too.

When Evalyn FINALLY managed to get control of herself, she asked, “Besides, you can’t seriously expect me to believe you didn’t have fun trying on your new, pretty underwear, can you?”

Rayne just blushed and broke eye contact. It was all the confirmation Evalyn needed.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Next they went into one of Evalyn’s favorite clothing stores, where they each found some stuff they liked. Rayne found a pretty plain white dress, which she felt had enough length that she wouldn’t be uncomfortable wearing it. The dress would also hide her lack of cleavage. Evalyn found a dark blue skirt, which she matched with a white blouse. She grabbed a beige sweater as well, and some leggings. Rayne smiled, Evalyn had led her to believe they were just shopping for Rayne, so it was nice to see Evalyn finding something for herself.

Evalyn led her to the changing room where Rayne tried on her find. It had a black silk belt that went with it, and came to just below her knees.

Next, Rayne was surprised to find that the outfit Evalyn had been putting together was, in fact, meant for Rayne. Evalyn laughed at Rayne’s surprise, saying that the outfit wouldn’t suit her. Rayne wasn’t sure about it, but at Evalyn’s insistence she tried it on.

The skirt came to her midthigh, making Rayne feel almost naked. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. The form-fitting black leggings felt almost like a second skin, and Rayne found the gentle hug they provided to be oddly comforting. The blouse seemed to go well with either the leggings or the skirt, but what Rayne loved was the sweater. It was a big beige button up sweater, with simple designs stitched around the buttons. At first Rayne thought it much to big for her. It was so big, in face, that it could have easily passed for a dress – on the right person. The sweater came down almost as far on her thigh as the skirt in fact. At Evalyn’s insistence, she left the top of the blouse visible. She also had to roll the sleeves up a bit to free her hands. Although, Rayne thought, being able to pull her hands into the sleeves to get nice and cozy wasn’t really a bad thing either. Donning the leggings, blouse, and sweater, she finally looked in the mirror, and found that she absolutely loved the outfit. Fall was quickly approaching, and in her mind (at least) she had just found the perfect outfit.

“I think I’m gonna buy it.” Rayne said slowly.

She began looking for price tags. Evalyn giggled.

Rayne turned to look at her. “You already bought it, didn’t you?!”

“Hey, can you blame me?” Evalyn teased, “It’s my first time out with my little sister. I gotta catch up on 14 years of missed birthdays.”

She had even bought the skirt Rayne hadn’t been sure about.

Rayne smiled, a tear coming to her eye. “Thanks Eva. Thanks for everything. You don’t know how much this all means to me.”

“Hey, hold up now sister.” Evalyn said sternly, “You can’t go crying now. The day’s just getting started. Besides you’ll ruin your makeup.”

Rayne laughed, and wiped away the tears. Together the two headed to their next destination, Rayne wearing her new outfit out of the store. She loved the big sweater. It was just so cozy.

They stopped in at a shoe store where Rayne got a pair of boots that matched the outfit she was wearing. That was all they got however. Much to Evalyn’s disappointment, Rayne insisted there’d be time aplenty to try heels on later, as winter was only a few months away. Not exactly an ideal time to be learning heels in cold Canada. Especially this close to the mountains.

“So, where to next?” Rayne asked, unsure what else could be left.

“One really important thing!” Evalyn declared, “We need to get your ears pierced!”

Rayne almost choked in surprise.

“W- w- what?! No way. Nope. Not happening.” She declared adamantly, shaking her head.

Evalyn just wore a bemused smile. Having expected this reaction, her argument was already prepared.

“Eva! That’s not something I can hide!” Rayne said, exasperated over Evalyn’s lack of concern.

“And why isn’t it?” Evalyn said logically, “You have long hair. Wear it down for a couple weeks. Then, once they’ve healed, you just don’t wear anything in them unless you want them to be noticed.”

Rayne opened her mouth to offer her counter argument, but then realized she didn’t really have an intelligent reply.

“Besides,” Evalyn continued, driving the last nail in the coffin, “Lot’s of guys get their ears pierced. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if anyone found out. Plus, if you have them, you’ll ALWAYS have a small piece of Rayne with you all the time.”

Ten minutes later they were walking into the body piercing and tattoo parlour. Rayne’s eyes went wide as she looked at all the different needles and pictures of tattoos and styles of piercings.

“Can I help you ladies?” Came a gruff voice.

Wide-eyed, Rayne looked up at the big man standing behind the counter. He was tall and clean shaven, with pierced ears, eyebrows, and a pierced nose. Every piece of his skin, his face being the only exception, seemed to be covered in tattoos.

Rayne couldn’t help it. She grabbed her sisters hand and moved a bit closer to her.

The man raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Evalyn began, before giving the increasingly familiar explanation of her sister’s shyness. “We were hoping you took drop-in appointments for ear piercings. My little sister wants to get them done.”

The big man rubbed the back of his head, “Normally we do, but the lady who usually does them, Melissa, is out for the day.”

“Oh. That’s to bad.” Evalyn said, clearly disappointed.

The man rubbed his head again. “Ya know, I don’t have another appointment for another hour. If she’s okay with it,” he said, nodding at Rayne, “I could do her ears. I’d understand if she preferred to wait for a woman though. Most girls do. I know I can be a bit intimidating.”

Evalyn looked at Rayne, leaving it up to her.

Rayne licked her lips and cleared her throat, gathering her courage. The man seemed friendly enough.

“U-um, I think I’d like for you to do them Mister.” She said quietly, quickly adding, “I- If it’s not too much t- trouble.”

The man smiled warmly. “I’d be happy to little lady. Please, call me Bob.”

A few minutes later Rayne was sitting in the chair, holding Evalyn’s hand while staring at one of Bob’s many tattoos. Looking at the tattoos had a relaxing effect on her. They were fascinating. Like art on skin. Rayne’s eyes widened in realization. Tattoos were just art created with a different medium than she was used to seeing. Suddenly, the man didn’t seem so scary anymore. He was just another artist, like Cynthia, Ryan, or Ms. Mira. A few more minutes passed and the deed was done.

“Alright,” said Bob, finishing his spiel about proper piercing care, “With that, I’ll quickly ring you up and you’ll be good to go!”

Once again, Evalyn insisted on paying.

“Thank you so much Bob!” Rayne gushed, “I really appreciate it!”

He just chuckled, “It was my pleasure little lady. But I gotta ask: What’s with the sudden change in attitude? When you walked in here, you were as skittish as a deer.”

Rayne blushed, “W-well to be perfectly honest, you were right. At first, I was scared, you ARE intimidating.”

He nodded in understanding, “So what changed, little lady?”

“I looked at your tattoos! It got me thinking – tattoos are just a form of art, but instead of putting ink and color on paper or canvas, you put it on skin! It’s just a medium I hadn’t been exposed to before. Once I started thinking of you as just another artist you didn’t seem so scary anymore! I realized you were actually really nice – you took time out of your day just to make me happy!”

“Huh.” He said, surprised by her explanation, “I wish more people looked at it that way. It was wonderful meeting you little lady.”

“You too Bob!” Rayne called back as she and her sister turned to leave, “Oh,” she said turning back one last time, “By the way, my name’s Rayne!” With a wave, she left the store, leaving Bob standing there alone, just shaking his head.

“What an interesting girl.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Alright. We need to have a talk.” Evalyn announced on the drive home.

“Oh, a nice friendly talk between sisters?” Rayne asked, hoping to lighten the now serious mood, “Or the talk I’ve been hoping to avoid all day?”

“You tell me,” Evalyn asked, “What talk have you been avoiding?”

After a short pause, Rayne sighed heavily, “The talk about your little brother who would rather be your little sister.”

“That would be the talk.” Evalyn confirmed solemnly.

Rayne looked out the window, as tears began forming in her eyes.

“Hey now.” She said. “You’re not allowed to cry until we get home. I’m driving. I can’t hug you better until we get home.”

Rayne let out an odd half laugh, half sob noise, as she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her big comfy sweater.

“Okay, I’ll try.” She said, determined (at the very least) to avoid crying for the length of the drive.

“So I emailed someone last night after you fell asleep – someone I think can help you.” Evalyn said, beginning the dreaded conversation.

“W-what?” Rayne asked, horrified, “Who?! What did you tell them?!”

“Rayne. Calm down. I haven’t told her anything yet. I just made an inquiry.”

Relaxing again, Rayne asked, “What kind of inquiry?”

“I asked her about doctor-patient confidentiality. She assured me that anything you talk to her about will be kept strictly confidential, unless it will cause someone – you or someone else – harm.”

“O-okay,” Rayne said, gathering her wits, “So that means anything I say, she can’t tell Mom and Dad, right?”

“Well, as long as you don’t go telling her your world domination plans, yeah. That about sums it up.” Evalyn said, trying to supply some comedic relief.

“So,” Rayne opened hesitantly, “When do I see her?”

“Tomorrow.” Evalyn answered.

Rayne’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, “Tomorrow? But Eva, tomorrow’s a school day. Are we going to skip or something?”

“Me? Skip school? As if.” Evalyn teased, “She’s at school.”

“She’s at school?! Eva! How can I talk to her? If this gets out school will become a million time’s worse than last year.” Rayne, desperately trying to maintain her composure, felt like her mere existence would lead to the collapse of Raymond’s entire world.

“Rayne. Rayne, Relax. Doctor-patient confidentiality remember?” Evalyn reminded her.

“B-but who at school is a doctor?” Rayne asked, not sure how this would work out.

“The new student counselor, Judith Reid, is a licenced psychologist.”

Rayne thought hard about what Evalyn had just said. He had barely heard of Ms. Reid. She was new this year. In past years, the student counselor had been a nun, Sister Dorine. However, she had often placed her religious beliefs over the mental well-being of the students. Unfortunately, as a classically trained nun (and not a professional counselor), Sister Dorine's beliefs didn't always mesh with the needs of her students.

The school’s problems began when a boy told her he was gay. He wanted to come out to his parents, but didn’t know how. Rather than give him the advice he needed, she had gone off on a rant about how evil he was – how if he didn’t repent he would go to Hell. By the end of the week the whole school had heard. The poor boy had to transfer schools to get away from it all. After that the school district really started looking into the complaints against Sister Dorine. Once they did, reports of misconduct started coming up all over the place. Soon, Sister Dorine was dismissed, and the school was told to hire a real counselor. Ms. Reid had started the day summer ended.

“If you go at lunch,” Evalyn continued, “Then you won’t miss any classes, and no one will know.”

Rayne nodded, “Do I have an option B?” she asked hopefully.

“Option B, in my opinion the better option, is that we tell Mom and Dad. But it’s your decision to make.”

Rayne sighed heavily. “I’ll go see Ms. Reid tomorrow.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
They had gotten home that night and had a quick dinner – just the two of them. Evalyn had then shown Rayne various ways she could wear her hair – as Raymond – to keep her new piercings out of sight. Much too soon for Rayne’s liking, Evalyn was ushering her to go get changed before the rest of the family got home. Rayne did so – slipping back into Raymond – but she left on the panties and bra. She hoped that they, along with the earrings, would allow Raymond to hold onto some small piece of Rayne. She would go back to boring boy underwear in the morning. For the time being all of Rayne’s clothes were stored in Evalyn’s closet. They wouldn’t be out of place if they were found there.

Sebastian and their parents were very happy to see Raymond up and out of his room when they got home. They asked Raymond why he had been so upset, but he just said he was feeling better and didn’t want to talk about it. After he had gone up to his room for the night they asked the same question to Evalyn. She had sternly told them that it wasn’t her place to tell them, and that if they wanted to know they should ask Ray. They couldn’t exactly do that, as he had already shot them down. Soon the whole family was in bed, all of them very confused by the weekend’s events – three of them for very different reasons.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Soon Monday came, and before Raymond knew it, he was knocking on the door to the office of Ms. Judith Reid.

“Come in.” came a serious voice from the other side.

Hesitantly, Raymond opened the door and entered, closing it again behind him.

Judith Reid was a middle age woman with short highlighted brown hair styled in a pixie cut. She sat in her chair, leaning on her desk, pouring over paperwork. She held up a finger, asking Raymond to wait a moment. She made a few notes, then she looked up at him and removed her reading glasses.

“Please take a seat, what can I do for you?” she asked in the same serious tone.

Raymond took the chair opposite her desk, setting down his bag as he did.

“U-um, Hi.” He said quietly, unsure what to say.

“Hello.” She returned, offering a handshake. “My name is Ms. Reid.”

“I’m Raymond.” He said, taking the offered hand, “Raymond Danahy. You can call me Ray.”

“A pleasure to meet you Ray.”

After an uncomfortable silence, during which Ms. Reid’s eyes seemed to bore a hole through him, she asked again, “So, what can I do for you?”

Ray just sat there uncomfortably, trying to gather his thoughts.

“I don’t know what’s bothering you, Ray,” she began, noting his obvious discomfort, “But I want to help you. But I can’t do that until you talk to me.”

Another awkward silence.

“Why don’t you come back when you’re ready to talk.” She said with a sigh.

“D- doctor-patient confidentiality!” Ray suddenly blurted.

“Y- you can’t tell anyone anything I tell you, r- right?” he finished quietly, still avoiding eye contact.

“Of course.” She said seriously, “I take confidentiality very seriously. Not a word spoken will leave this room. The only exception is if you lead me to believe that you’re a danger to yourself or others.”

Raymond nodded slowly.

“Okay.” He said, looking up for a moment before looking back to his feet, “W-where should I begin?”

Ms. Reid sat down her pen and glasses, and leaned back in her chair, “Wherever you think is necessary.”

Raymond hesitated for just another second before pushing forward. It was either this or let Evalyn tell their parents.

“H-have you ever felt,” Ray paused, looking for the right words, “Wrong? And I don’t mean, like, got the wrong answer on a math test wrong. I mean, have you ever felt like your very existence was wrong?”

Ms. Reid’s eyebrows furrowed, “I’ve had doubts, and questions,” She began carefully, “Is that what you mean?”

“No.” Ray said, positive that what he was referring to was different, “I think everyone has those. What I’m talking about is,” He stopped, struggling to explain it, “Different.”

He frowned, “For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt a profound feeling of wrongness. It’s like my skin just doesn’t fit - I’m trapped. For a long time, I wondered how other people could do it? They all seemed to feel so at ease in their bodies. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I got in better shape, and lost some weight, I could achieve that too.”

Ms. Reid was watching him intently.

“And I did lose weight. I’m in the best shape that I’ve ever been in. But that feeling of wrongness just won’t go away. It’s always there, holding me back.”

He stopped. The next part was the hard part.

“What do you think caused this?” Ms. Reid asked.

“For a long time, I didn’t know. I thought it was just something everyone went through. But this weekend something happened. And it was SO freeing. All the feelings of wrongness – of self-loathing – of imprisonment – all just disappeared. But as soon as that ‘something’ ended, all the bad feelings came rushing back. Worse than ever.”

Ms. Reid could see how troubled the boy was, “Raymond,” She said gently, “What was that… ‘something’.”

Ray was looking at his feet, head in his hands.

“I- I dressed up, and went out as a girl.” He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face.

“You dressed up as a girl?” She repeated, having been preparing herself for something so much worse.

Ray nodded, “And now, I just can’t stop thinking about it, about wanting to do it again.” He sobbed, “I spent all of Saturday hiding in my room. Either crying or playing video games to distract me from crying. Wishing I wasn’t a freak. Wishing I had been born a girl.”

Ms. Reid reached across the table and offered him a tissue. He took it gratefully, dabbing at his eyes.

After he had collected himself, Ms. Reid asked, “Raymond, I need to talk to you about before this weekend, I need to understand more to be able to help you.”

Ray sniffled, adjusted his glasses, and nodded, “What do you need to know?”

“First of all, as far as you can remember, have you ever wanted to be a girl before?”

Raymond scratched his chin thoughtfully, “No, but now that I think about it, I wasn’t opposed to the idea either.”

“What do you mean by that?” Ms. Reid asked.

“Well, my big sister Eva – Evalyn Danahy,” He opened, giving his sister’s full name for Ms. Reid’s benefit. “She always told me that my eyelashes were pretty – like a girl – and that my hair was so naturally straight and healthy that it was wasted on a boy. In addition to that, whenever other kids were picking on me – if they called me girly, for instance – it didn’t really bug me. Don’t get me wrong – all their other insults really hurt! – but being told I looked girly, or acted like a little girl never really bothered me much. I can’t believe I never realized this before, but I feel like these are things that would have bugged most boys. And yet but they never bothered me at all.”

Ms. Reid nodded, “You mentioned wanting to lose weight? Can you elaborate on that some more?”

“When I was a little kid I was really active. I still had these feelings of wrongness, but it wasn’t until I got older that they really started to bug me,” Ray explained, “When they did start really getting to me, I didn’t know how to cope and I just retreated into myself. I began to spend all my time playing video games and neglecting my health. I was like that for probably two and a half years. It wasn’t until last spring that I finally managed to pull myself out if it with Seb’s help. Over the spring and summer, I worked really hard, and came back to school looking completely different.”

“And Seb is?” Ms. Reid inquired, looking for clarification.

“Oh! Seb’s short for Sebastian, he’s my big brother.”

“Ahhh, I see.” Said Ms. Reid, making a note on a piece of paper. She had been taking notes throughout the whole conversation.

“So tell me.” She said, leading into her next question, “What led you to dressing up as a girl?”

Raymond hesitated, unsure how much he should tell her.

“This is important Raymond,” She eased gently.

“D-does doctor-patient confidentiality cover stuff that might get me in trouble?”

Ms. Reid raised an eyebrow. “As long as it’s not something that will bring harm to you or someone else.”

Raymond nodded slowly, before telling her everything. He told her all about the art gallery, about Evalyn’s idea for him to go in disguise, and how he had forged his parent’s signatures. He explained that he didn’t know what the disguise would be until his sister pulled out a dress. He told her how at first he had been reluctant, but had finally given in in the end. He also told her how he had gone out again on Sunday.

Once he had finished, Ms. Reid folded her hands together on the desk and said, “Ray, I’m going to be honest with you, there’s something that concerns me.”

“O-oh?” Ray said, “What might that be?”

“Throughout your story, one element came up several times. Your older sister Evalyn. I need to know, are you doing this because she wants you to, and has pressured you into it? Or is this genuinely how you feel?”

Ray looked down at his feet, “I’d be lying if said Evalyn hadn’t pressured me a bit. She was the reason I first dressed up. She was the reason I dressed up the second time, too. She was even the reason I came to see you today. But this IS how I feel. Evalyn isn’t the kind of person what would force someone to do something they didn’t want to.”

“But the first time you dressed up you didn’t want to?” Ms. Reid pointed out.

“That’s true,” Ray conceded, “But she did it for me. She knew that they only way I’d be able to participate in the showing – something I desperately wanted to do – would be if I first did something I didn’t want to do. The second time, she just suggested it. I was the one who readily agreed.”

“You said she was the reason you came to see me today.” Ms. Reid asked, moving on. “What did that mean?”

“Last night she told me if I didn’t talk to you she was going to tell our parents.” Ray said, clearly still upset about the ultimatum.

“That doesn’t seem very kind of her. She took away your decision,” Ms. Reid said.

Ray sighed heavily. “I want to agree, but she was really just looking out for me. That’s what she always does. Seb too. She said that this wasn’t something two teenagers could figure out by themselves, and after talking with you I think she was right.”

“So, you’re happy you talked to me?” Ms. Reid asked.

“I wouldn’t say I’m happy about it,” Ray said slowly, “But I now see that it was necessary.”

Ms. Reid nodded. “So, before we end this session I want to know one last thing. You said that Evalyn knew that the only way you’d be able to participate in the showing would be by dressing up as a girl. Care to elaborate on what you meant and how she knew this?”

Ray nodded, “First, just to clarify, she didn’t think I’d only be able to do it by going as a girl. She thought I’d only be able to do it wearing a disguise. It just so happened the easiest one to pull off was as a girl.”

Ms. Reid nodded, making another note.

“As for why she knew I’d need a disguise… well… ever since these negative feeling first started to bother me, I’ve had horrible anxiety whenever I have people looking at me. I’m fine in very small groups, or with my family, but if I’m with any group of more than – say three or more people? Then it’s horrible. If anything happens that causes me to become the center of attention, then my chest seizes up, I struggle to breath, my mind goes blank, and I start to cry. Evalyn had the idea that if I wore a disguise then I wouldn’t have to worry. It would be like the games I play online, if someone’s mean, or I’m embarrassed, then I just have to deal with it until I take off the disguise, then I never have to worry about it again.”

Ms. Reid nodded, “Okay, Raymond. We talked about a lot this week. Would you be like to meet again? I’m free next Monday. We could schedule a meeting for the same time.”

“Y-yeah.” Ray agreed, “I think I’d like that.”

He got up to leave, shouldering his backpack.

“Ray?”

He turned to look at her.

“Reflect on what we spoke about today, and I have something for you to think about throughout the week.”

“Okay, sure.” Ray nodded. The request seemed fair.

“Consider this: If you’re using your female ‘disguise’ as a way of getting around your anxiety as Raymond – under the assumption that you’ll just be able to shed it and leave it behind if something goes wrong – then what will you do if the ‘disguise’ becomes more? What will you do if it reaches a point where you can’t leave it behind? Will you begin to suffer the same anxiety while you’re in disguise?”

After promising to think about it, Ray left. What she had said hadn’t even occurred to him, but he did know that Rayne had already reached a point where he couldn’t just toss her aside. She was so much more than a disguise.
 

---

---

 
Hi

Flummox here.

I’m really really bad at this. I keep letting all of you down. I tell you I’ll post regularly, and I don’t. I tell you I’ll make a blog entry if I’ll be unable to post regularly… and I don’t. I even messaged one of you that a new chapter wold be up tomorrow! That was two weeks ago.

I’m just really crappy at time management.

I think about how I’ve been letting you down all the time, and it’s been stressing me out a bit to be honest. I think the best thing to do is to just come right out and say that scheduled releases probably just aren’t gonna happen. I wish I could do it, but it is clearly beyond what I’m capable of at this point in time. Don’t worry, this story WILL continue. Of that I am sure. But chapters will likely continue to be irregular. Some faster then others, some slower. Some much slower.

I hope I didn’t disappoint anyone too much, and that this chapter was able to meet your expectations.

As always, please please please leave me a comment, kudos if you think I deserve it, or shoot me a message. I try to reply to everything, even if it takes me a while sometimes, and your encouragement keeps me going. It rejuvenates me and makes my day every day.

Again, I’m so sorry if I disappointed you, and I hope you’ve all been in good health and cheer.

Flummox

---

A Blank Page

By Flummox

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The rest of the day proved uneventful for Raymond. He went to his classes – at least physically – His mind, however, was a different story. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Ms. Reid had said. Was Rayne just his ‘crutch’? What would he do if Rayne began to experience the same severe anxiety as Raymond? Could Raymond cope? Could Rayne Cope? Rayne’s entire existence – at least initially – had been intended to help Raymond deal with his insecurities, shyness, and anxiety. Rayne might not have the same anxieties or insecurities that he did, but she sure as hell had the shyness. Then again, maybe the shyness was just Raymond’s fear of being found out? Maybe that would go away with time?

GAH.

Why did everything have to be so damn complicated and confusing?

Raymond’s phone buzzed, drawing him from his thoughts. Ray rapidly entered his password when he saw it was a text from bunny. His friend hadn’t been online much recently. Too busy getting everything ready for the move Ray theorized. He read the message.

What r u doing this weekend?

That brought a smile to Ray’s face, looks like his friend would finally have a chance to get online for some gaming. He had missed their gaming sessions. Ray typed up a reply.

I might be busy Friday night. But Saturday I’m free all day.

He sent the message and headed up to his room to get started on his homework. Since school had just started three weeks ago, he didn’t have a lot of homework to do. Even so, he didn’t want to fall behind again. He wanted his family to have a reason to be proud of him. For once. His phone buzzed again, indicating another message.

Oooh what r u up 2? Got a hawt date?

Ray laughed out loud. He had mentioned the art gallery to Bunny over the summer. Bunny hadn’t known Ray was into art at the time, but thought it was really cool when Ray told him. He had encouraged Ray to enter, and Ray had said he’d consider it. He hadn’t told him yet that he had, Bunny had a lot on his plate at the moment and it hadn’t come up in conversation. Now that Bunny was asking Ray didn’t see a reason not to share.

Remember that ‘talented youth’ art gallery event I mentioned during the summer? Well I entered. I’ve made it past the first round of eliminations. If I make it past the second, then I’ll have a showing Friday night.

Ray continued to study, until a short time later came the reply he was expecting. Ray finished the problem he had been working on before picking up his phone.

:O Thats incredible! Why didnt u tell me? Whats the name of the art gallery? Maybe I can see ur work online?

Ray smiled at his friends’ excitement.

Lol, I doubt that Bunny. If you could look at the art online wouldn’t it defeat the point of the gallery? Either way, it’s called the Mountsview Art Gallery.

Ray received a response almost immediately, but he forced himself to complete a few problems before looking. There were three messages.

Lol I guess ur rite. But it doesnt hurt 2 try!

The second message had come through a few minutes later. Almost as if Bunny had hesitated to send it.

I kno this is a bit weird but may I ask 4 ur real name? In the off chance the gallery has pictures posted online Id like 2 be able 2 find urs.

The third message had come in seconds after the first.

Pictures of ur art I mean. Not u. we’ll meet in person soon enough.

Ray sat back in his chair and thought hard for several minutes. Was he comfortable giving his name to someone he only knew online? What if all the cautionary tales he had heard about creepy old men masquerading online as teenagers to abduct children happened to him? He quickly shot that idea down. He had known Bunny for years, if he wasn’t who he said he was, then he was the most patient creep ever. He had never once asked for Raymond’s name before, why start now if his motives weren’t pure? The final factor that influenced Ray’s decision was that he wouldn’t be giving his real name, he’d be giving Rayne’s name. That was the name he had entered under after all. Finally, he typed up a message.

I would rather wait to exchange real names in person, but you’re in luck! I actually entered the competition under an alias, and I’d be happy to share that with you.

Ray sat and waited for the reply. It didn’t take long.

Lol an alias? What r u? A spy? Lol XP Sure what is it?

Ray rolled his eyes at Bunny’s sarcastic message.

Rayne Danahy. Now I need to get this homework done, so have a good night. We’ll talk on Saturday right?

Bunny’s last reply for the night rolled in a moment later.

LOL! Rayne. Like the weather! Yeah we’ll talk Saturday at the l8est. Night Rayny.

Ray rolled his eyes again at the comment before returning to his studies.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The rest of the night passed quietly, Ray finished his homework and went for his daily run with Sebastian; they had moved up to jogging for a full hour. Ray felt like he didn’t really need to keep jogging regularly anymore, but he had come to enjoy the time with his older brother. When they got home they had a quiet family dinner, after which Ray announced he was heading to his room for the night – or at least he tried to. Evalyn followed him up the stairs and pulled him into her room.

Closing the door behind her she led him to the bed where they sat down side by side.

“So?” she asked, “You spoke to Ms. Reid?”

Ray nodded.

Dissatisfied, Evelyn raised an eyebrow and motioned for Ray to go on, “Well?”

“I dunno Eva. We just talked and stuff.”

“I received a note, requesting me in her office at lunch tomorrow.” Evalyn explained, “I need to have some idea what I’m walking into.”

“Ugh,” Ray groaned, “She said she wanted to talk to you, I just wasn’t expecting her to be so gung-ho.”

Evalyn smiled, “Okay, now spill. What did you guys talk about? Was she nice?”

“She was kinda intimidating at first.” Ray said, “I actually think she was getting ready to kick me out.”

Evalyn’s eyes narrowed, hearing that confession didn’t make her happy.

It always touched Raymond’s heart to see his sister being so protective.

He went on to tell her the whole story. He briefly mentioned the different topics they had discussed, and what he had said in response to her questions – at least the parts he could remember, anyway. When he finished Evalyn lay back on her bed and looked at the roof thoughtfully.

“Geeze, when you put it that way it kinda does sound like I forced it on you.”

Ray laid back next to her, “Yeah maybe, but I’m glad you did.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
The next day was beautiful – or at least Raymond thought so. Some people might disagree. The sky was filled with dark clouds, and around lunch a heavy rain began to fall. Ray ate his lunch by a window near the art room, just staring at the rain. It was so peaceful. Not for the first time, he thought about how lucky he was to live somewhere where it rained so frequently. He was drawn from his serenity by a familiar voice from the art room.

“You still don’t know?! How can you not know yet? The suspense is KILLING me.”

Ray looked into the art room to see Cynthia. She was having a discussion with Ms. Mira, a discussion Ray could only assume was about the art competition. Ryan stood next to her. A smug smirk on his face.

“I told you Cynthia. They said the results would be in on Wednesday at the latest, it’s not Wednesday yet.”

“Oh, Fine.” Cynthia pouted, “Let’s just go eat.” She looked around, spotting Raymond’s table. “Think that boy would mind if we sat with him?” She asked Ryan.

“Only one way to find out,” Ryan said, “Go ask him.”

Ms. Mira chuckled and gave Ray a knowing smile, “I happen to know that boy quite well,” she said, “He’s one of the 9th grade art students. He’s friendly, but a bit shy. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Ryan smiled, “Reminds me of someone else we know.”

He had no clue how right he was.

Cynthia and Ryan turned and walked in his direction. When they were no longer facing her, Ms. Mira shot Ray a wink.

“Would you mind if we joined you?” Cynthia asked cheerfully.

“Uh, sure I guess.” Was all Ray could say.

Ryan and Cynthia went about eating their lunches, chatting away about their classes. Or at least Cynthia chatted. Ryan just nodded every now and again. Ray just went back to watching the rain, enjoying the background noise that was Cynthia’s constant chatter.

Eventually he became aware that she had been staring at him for some time.

He turned to look at her, “W- Why are you staring at me?” He managed to ask.

“OH!” Cynthia blushed, “Sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, you just look kinda familiar, but I just can’t quite place it.”

Ryan’s eyebrow scrunched together at the comment.

“W- weird.” Ray said, suddenly aware of how risky this lunch was. He returned to his rain watching.

“May I ask what YOU’RE staring at?” She asked.

“Me?” Ray said, confused, “I’m not staring at anything. I’m just watching the rain.”

“The rain?” Ryan asked, his curiosity piqued.

“Yeah” Ray said, not moving his gaze from the showers outside, “For as long as I can remember I’ve always found a rainstorm to be incredibly calming.”

The two older students didn’t say anything. For a few minutes the three of them just sat and watched the rain. Ryan and Cynthia trying to see it as Ray did.

“Guess what I just received.” Ms. Mira said, holding up a piece of paper and breaking each of them out of their individual thoughts.

Cynthia gasped, and leapt from her seat – sending it skittering away behind her.

“The results?!” She exclaimed over-excitedly.

Ryan didn’t quite have the same reaction, but he did sit up noticeably straighter.

Ray looked back to the storm outside, trying to hide his own excitement and feign disinterest.

“The results.” Ms. Mira confirmed.

Both Ryan and Cynthia looked at her expectantly.

“After much deliberation,” Ms. Mira read theatrically, “we have decided that the students Ryan Deartz, and Cynthia Gnoll-”

She paused dramatically and looked between Ryan and Cynthia.

“Shall be accepted into the second showing.”

Cynthia squealed with joy, Ryan just nodded and gave a small fist pump.

“What about Rayne?” Cynthia quickly asked, getting over her own excitement.

Raymond’s heart began to beat faster.

Ms. Mira shook her head. “C’mon Cynthia, I can’t tell you her results before she even knows.”

“Please Ms. Mira! I could text them to her!”

“Not happening.” Ms. Mira said sternly, “You won’t sway me on this Cynthia. It would be unprofessional and disrespectful to tell you before her.”

With a heavy sigh, Cynthia gave up, “Fine, but you tell her to text me the moment she knows!”

Lunch ended soon, and Cynthia and Ryan said goodbye to Raymond and disappeared down the hall. As soon as they were out of sight Raymond jumped up and rushed into the art room. He had art next anyways so he didn’t have to worry about being late.

“Well?” he asked Ms. Mira. The two of them were alone in the room together.

“Well what?” she asked, feigning ignorance.

“C’mon Ms. Mira,” Ray whined, “I’ve already had to wait long enough haven’t I?”

“Ms. Mira nodded slowly, a sad frown slowly forming.

“I’m so sorry Raymond,” she said, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, “But you didn’t make it.”

“O- oh.” He said, trying to hide his disappointment “That’s fine I guess. I wasn’t expecting to make it far with there being so much talent.” He slowly turned to walk over to one of the work tables.

“It’s okay Raymond,” she said comfortingly, “you might not have made it, but take solace in knowing that Rayne did.”

Raymond whipped around, jaw dropping in disbelief.

Ms. Mira howled with laughter.

“Ms. Mira! You are SO mean.”

She just laughed harder.

Ray ripped out his phone and sent a quick message to Cynthia and Ryan.

I MADE IT TO THE SECOND SHOWING!!!

He sent another message to both Evalyn and Bunny, saying basically the same thing.

He received four congratulatory messages a few minutes later. He sent his own congratulations to Cynthia and Ryan when they announced their own success as well.

Art class went smoothly. Ms. Mira told the class about the success of the senior student’s in the competition, and a few students asked to see a sample of their work. Ms. Mira obliged with one of Ryan’s paintings. She wouldn’t show them any of Cynthia’s however, as anything that would do her skill justice would be likely be deemed inappropriate for the catholic school.

Before Ray knew it, the day was over and he was heading home.
 

~o~O~o~
 
He and his sister had another talk that night. For once he was the one instigating it.

“So how did it go with Ms. Reid today?” he asked when they were alone in her room.

“It was fine,” She said, “She asked about me. Then about you. Then about me AND you.”

Ray looked at her expectantly, “Well? What else?”

“What else is there Ray?” She asked, “It was just like she said. She just wanted to make sure this was actually coming from you, and not me pressuring you.”

“And?” Ray pushed, “Did you convince her?”

“I don’t know, Ray. You just gotta relax, Squirt.” She took his hand in hers, “Whatever she decided I’m sure you’ll find out on Monday. Just focus on getting ready for the second showing for now.”

Ray nodded slowly. She was right. He had something else to focus on right now.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Wednesday and Thursday went by quickly, Raymond focused on his classes and enjoyed throwing himself at his studies. With Mr. McMan suspended he was even enjoying gym class. They had a substitute for the time being. He seemed friendly and encouraged the class better than Mr. McMan ever had.

Finally, Friday rolled around. He and his sister agreed on the same plan as the previous week. Meet at the art room after class, go to the locker rooms and get ready, then go meet Ms. Mira.

After what seemed like an eternity, every trace of Raymond was gone. Rayne emerged from the changeroom accompanied by Evalyn.

Today Rayne was wearing the outfit her sister had picked out for her on their girl’s day the previous weekend. She wore the simple white lingerie with the plain black leggings, a simple white blouse, and the big sweater that came down to her midthigh and completely hid her hands. Enjoying the comfort the sweater provided, Rayne hadn’t even rolled up the sleeves. There was no need to yet so she might as well embrace the coziness is provided. The sweater was left undone at the top so the blouse could peek out. Evalyn had applied some light makeup, which had prompted Rayne to ask for a lesson in the future. On her feet, she wore a pretty pair of brown boots with some simple patterns stitched in. She wore her long hair loose today, spilling over her shoulder and down her chest. Once again, she had put in her contacts at Evalyn’s recommendation. She doubted they really made much of a difference to her appearance, but Evalyn hadn’t been wrong so far.

“You ready?” Evalyn asked as they walked down the hall.

“More then ever.” Was Rayne’s reply.

Soon they were walking across the field, headed to the parking lot where Ms. Mira stood waiting next to her car.

Today was the first football game, and the entire football team – Sebastian included – was outside, getting ready. Evalyn had ensured Rayne that they’d be too busy to take notice of the girls, but Rayne was afraid none the less. If anyone was going to make the connection between Raymond and Rayne it would be Sebastian. Thankfully, Evalyn was right. The most attention they received was a cheerful wave from Jackson. Evalyn waved back of course, but Rayne only managed a smile.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Across the field, Jackson went back to what he was doing. Sebastian walked up then, and Jackson couldn’t help but ask, “Hey man, I just gotta say, your little cousin is super cute. Would it be weird for me to ask for her number?”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Wha? Who are you talking about? Mackenzie?”

Now it was Jackson’s turn to be confused, “No, Evalyn introduced us last week. I think her name was Rayne? Sweet, shy girl?”

Sebastian shook his head, “I think you’re getting people mixed up bro. I don’t know anyone named Rayne, and the only girl cousins I have on this side of the country are a 5-year-old, and Mackenzie, who’s the complete opposite of sweet and shy.”

“No, I know I’m not getting people mixed up man.”

Sebastian looked at him sceptically.

“I’m not!” Jackson said adamantly, “How could I get your sister confused? She kinda stands out. Your whole family does. Besides, I just saw her and Rayne together a few minutes a go.”

“Oh really?” Sebastian asked, clearly not convinced, “Where?”

“Right there.” Jackson said confidently, turning to point at the teachers parking lot.

Sebastian sighed sceptically and turned to look, but he was surprised to see that Jackson was right. Evalyn stood at the edge of the parking lot, waving farewell to one of the departing vehicles.

“See?” Jackson asked.

Sebastian’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Yeah. I do.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne and Ms. Mira zoomed down the highway headed towards Mountsview. Rayne’s heart was hammering with excitement.

“So, will the judges be the same? How will this showing be different?” She asked, trying to prepare herself as best she could.

“I’m really not sure about the judges.” Ms. Mira began, “But you can expect their questions to be more technical than last time. They won’t just be asking you to explain your display, they may have specific questions about the individual pieces.”

Rayne nodded thoughtfully. “I hope the judges are the same. Berny really made me feel comfortable talking.”

Ms. Mira nodded in understanding, “That man has been around for a long time. He’s always been a huge voice for youth in the arts.”

Rayne spent the rest of the drive contemplating her work and thinking about possible questions she may have to answer.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“RAYNE!”

That was all the warning she received before being slammed with what she couldn’t be sure was a hug or a tackle.

“Ooof” Rayne grunted, before giggling and hugging her back.

“Ohmygosh that outfit is so cute!” Cynthia gushed.

Rayne just blushed before nodding a small thanks.

Ryan just shook his head, “Girls.” He mumbled with a roll of his eyes.

Ms. Mira checked them in as the girls chattered. ‘Chattered’ meaning that Cynthia talked and Rayne just quietly listened, smiling the whole while.

As they walked to the area that had been assigned to them, Ms. Mira began to explain some of the details of the showing and how it would differ from the previous week.

“This is the last stage that will take place in the convention center,” she explained, “That means that if you guys make it though to the next round you’ll be in the actual gallery! There are a total of 50 student’s in the running at this stage, but that number will be halved after tonight. Because there’s a lot more room to be shared among the participants, they’re also allowing the general public to come see the displays this time around. That means you can expect all sorts of people to be looking at your work, and you will in turn be expected to stay nearby your display. Obviously, you’ll be able to step away to use the washroom, get refreshments, or attend to anything else that may need your immediate attention – but you’ll need to cover for each other when you do. Does everyone understand?”

“Absolutely!” Came the upbeat voice from Cynthia.

Ryan gave his customary confidant nod.

“Yes Ms. Mira.” Rayne quietly replied, giving a small nod of her own.

Just as they did the previous week, Cynthia and Rayne went about setting up their easels while Ryan and Ms. Mira went to retrieve their pieces from storage.

After lining her own stands up, Rayne went over to start arranging Ryan’s for him, doing her best to imitate how they had been set up last week.

“Hey, thanks Rayne,” Ryan said when he returned, “I can take it from here though.”

“No problem.” She said with a smile, returning to her own display.

The three students went about preparing their respective displays. Once they were ready they stood around talking until a tall man in a suit came around the corner.

“Hi Berny!” Rayne said excitedly, unable to hide her happiness that the old man was there, then immediately afterwards blushing and embarrassed by her excitement.

Berny laughed kindly at the girl’s excitement, and pretended not to take notice of her embarrassment. “Hello Rayne, it’s good to see you. Are you ready for tonight?”

“Uhh, I’m not really sure. I’ve always had issues with crowds. To be honest, part of my motivation to enter this event was to try and get over my shyness.” She looked at her feet, suddenly ashamed to have admitted her motive for entering. This event was supposed to be about talented youth and their artwork. Not about her personal issues.

“Rayne.” Berny waited for her to meet his gaze. When she did, he continued warmly, “There’s nothing wrong with that. I am truly thankful that you shared your work with me. Just promise me you’ll do your best alright?”

“I’ll give it my all.” She said with as much strength as she could muster.

“Wonderful. If you do that, then no matter how far you go, you won’t be disappointed.”

Rayne smiled at his encouragement.

“Now.” He continued, “I need to be moving along, I was just coming around to let everyone know that the doors will be opening to the public at 6 o’clock. After that, we request that all of our young artist stay with their displays to answer any questions the public might have. The judges will be visiting this section around quarter to 7, so be ready. While you wait, I have some questions you may want to think about. What made you choose the medium’s you used? Do you believe you could have achieved similar results with different mediums? Do you have any favored mediums? What process do you follow to create your work?”

He took a long meaningful look at each of the students in their area, making sure to make eye contact with each one of them.

“I wish each of you the best of luck, it has been a blessing getting to meet each of you.”

With that he continued to the next area.

Rayne spent the last few minutes of free time talking with Cynthia and Ryan. Some of the students from the neighboring exhibits even joined in. It didn’t take long for Rayne to begin to feel uncomfortable. It was just a casual conversation, but all the other students were 3 or 4 years older than her. When the conversation moved past art, she was completely out of her depth. Cynthia and the girls started talking about clothes and boys. Rayne didn’t have enough experience with clothes to really participate in that, and her experiences with boys were even fewer. That brought up a scary line of thought, was Rayne attracted to boys? Raymond had always had too much on his mind to really think much about it.

Rayne pushed the thoughts away. Now wasn’t the time to start freaking herself out. She turned her attention to what Ryan and half the other boys were talking about. Sports. Ugh. Rayne hadn’t taken Ryan to be into sports. Just one more reason not to judge a book by its cover she figured. The few remaining boys had begun talking about video games. There. That’s where she would be in her element. She took a step towards them. Hesitation. She didn’t know any of them. How could she just jump into their conversation? Raymond wouldn’t have had the nerve to do it. They were all guys too. It would be so awkward for her to just join in on a bunch of boys’ conversation. If only Ryan was in that crowd instead. She wouldn’t be struggling so much if she at least knew someone. Crap. She had hesitated to long. They had noticed her. Now they were just staring at her as she must have been staring at them.

“Uh, umm, H-hi?” She squeaked nervously.

“Why were you staring at us?” One of the boys asked flatly.

Rayne was totally caught off guard. She had not been expecting them to be so upfront.

“Oh! W- well, Umm, I w- was, I just, uh.” She blabbered and stuttered, desperately trying to get her act together.

Now the boys were looking at her like she was crazy. One tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. Another had his hands on his hips and an annoyed glare on his face. The third looked completely uninterested.

Rayne blushed furiously and buried her face in the sleeves of the big sweater. When she removed them the three boys were still looking at her, they just looked more confused, annoyed, and bored respectively.

“I w- was just wondering what g- game you were t- talking about.” She finally blurted, before covering her face once again looking at the floor.

There was a long silence between them. Rayne finally looked back up.

“We were talking about Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel.” Answered the boy who had first spoken. The three turned away from her, clearly expecting the encounter to end there.

Rayne gasped. Her luck had finally changed. Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel was from the same series of games Raymond always played with Bunny. While it was the third game in the series, it was both a sequel to the original Borderlands game, and a prequel to Borderlands 2, hence the funny title.

“I thought it was good,” she piped up, gaining confidence, “But it just couldn’t compare to the masterpiece that was Borderlands 2.”

The three boys’ heads whipped back around to look at the girl in shock. The blush rushed back to her face.

“S- Sorry.” She said, suddenly really self-conscious, “I didn’t mean to intrude on your conversation. I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Wait, you said you thought it was GOOD?!” the boy who had given her the glare exclaimed, “It was WAY to short. It was basically just glorified dlc. Did you even really play it?” He finished sceptically.

Rayne’s jaw dropped. “I happen to be a level 70 Claptrap in the game.” She said indignantly. “If you were listening, I said that it was good. And I meant it. As a stand alone game it WAS good. As part of the overarching series, however, it couldn’t compare.”

“Pfft, clearly you don’t know what you’re talking about if you play Claptrap.” The boy said, ignoring her reasonable argument, “That character is just a joke. He’s garbage.”

Claptrap was one of the 6 playable characters in the game, and 70 was the highest level one could reach. Claptrap was a silly little robot who was constantly being made fun of by the other characters. Raymond had always loved the character, possibly because he could relate.

“What?! Clappy isn’t a joke! He’s silly and cute.” Rayne said defensively, referring to the character by his nickname. “And how can you say he’s garbage?! Throw 5 points into his ‘One Last Thing’ skill, give him a good shotgun, and he shreds every enemy in the game! Even the Eclipse! Maybe YOU’RE the one who hasn’t played the game.”

Three jaws dropped at her counter. Any remaining doubts that she knew what she was talking about were gone. Eclipse was the hardest boss in the game. It was notoriously difficult, and had been a point of outrage for many players when it was added to the game. Usually it was near impossible to beat without a teammate, but the boss was programmed to get much harder when there was more then one player. It was a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ kind of situation. The best solution was usually to go into the fight with a full party of four players.

Soon she was fully accepted into the conversation and, her shyness and embarrassment forgotten, the four of them were geeking out. Talking about various games, what they hated in a game, what the loved in a game, and so on. There were a few times where the few year age difference between her and the boys caused a game to come up that she either hadn’t heard of or played, but when that happened the boys would quickly notice her sudden silence and steer it back into her realm of expertise. Rayne wasn’t sure, but she could have sworn the three boys were giving her more attention then each other.

Before they knew it, a bell rang through the auditorium signaling the opening of the doors. The boys, whose names she had learned to be Josh, Bill, and Samuel, each asked for her phone number as she turned to return to her display. Suddenly uncomfortable, Rayne didn’t really know what to say.

“J-just to talk about games!” Josh quickly explained, noting her unease, “Won’t make any weird requests. Right guys?” he asked elbowing the boys on either side of him.

They both nodded and stammered an affirmative.

“Ummm, O- okay I guess.” Rayne agreed, a bit reluctantly. She told them her number and they entered her into their contacts. With a final goodbye, and a promise to talk more later, each of the boys returned to their displays, and Rayne returned to hers.

Soon people were mulling about the convention center, looking at the pieces. Each of the students had been provided with a folding chair so Rayne mostly remained seated, standing whenever someone came to look at her work. She did her best to answer any questions they had, which could really be anything. The range of people present was wide. Some were seniors, others just parents with kids. Some teenagers had come, but they were few and far between.

It was after about half an hour that Rayne noticed one of the teenagers staring in her direction from a short distance away.

He was of above average height, with short black hair. He was of Asian descent, and wore a pair of black jeans with white shoes, a white shirt, and a dark blue hooded jacket.

Every once in a while, he would move along, just to come back and stare from a different position. It was beginning to make Rayne uncomfortable. This was mainly because she had the feeling he wasn’t staring at her work, but at her. She tried to push it out of her mind and focus on thinking of answers to the questions Berny had posed.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the judges made it to her display. Rayne’s heart sunk when she saw that Berny wasn’t with them today. In fact, the only judge that was the same as last week was Mr. Smith. He had seemed nice enough, but Rayne would have just felt better if Berny’s encouraging smile had been present during her critique. She couldn’t help but notice that the boy who had been staring at her for the last hour was now part of the crowd following along to hear the judges’ opinions.

Mr. Smith took the lead, “Hello again Rayne. How are you today?”

“Uh, I’m doing okay I guess.” She replied nervously.

“I’m glad to hear that. I’m sure you remember me from last week, but just in case you don’t, I’m Mr. Smith,” he gestured behind him to the two people Rayne could only assume were the other judges, “These are my esteemed collogues, Ms. Jacklyn Ferguson, and Dr. George Malone.”

She shook both of their hands, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Ferguson, and you Mr. Malone”

Ms. Ferguson smiled sweetly, “Please, call me Jackie.”

Unfortunately, Dr. Malone wasn’t quite as friendly, “That’s DOCTOR Malone.” He corrected sternly, before muttering quietly to himself, “Kids these days. Can’t even get a name right.”

The other two judges gave him a dirty look, but the damage had already been done. Rayne was fighting back the waves of terror, and they hadn’t even begun the discussion yet.

“Rayne.” She turned to look wide-eyed at Mr. Smith, “Shall we get started?” he asked gently.

She swallowed nervously, “O-okay.” She squeaked.

Jackie smiled sympathetically, “We’re just going to ask you a few questions about your work, okay?”

Rayne just nodded.

Mr. Smith opened the discussion with the first question, “So Rayne, in your first piece, ‘Patiently Waiting’, you used graphite pencil, black ink pen, and a colored pencil, correct?” At Rayne’s nod he continued, “Using these three mediums you captured a very interesting image, had you chosen different mediums would you have been able to achieve something similar?”

Rayne spoke slowly, making a conscious effort not to stutter or say ‘um’ too many times.

“No sir, I would not have been able to.” She hesitated, “Can I tell you why?”

Mr. Smith nodded for her to go on.

“I specifically chose the mediums I did to-

“Speak up girl! I can barely hear you!” Interrupted Dr. Malone.

Rayne face went white as a ghost, she started over from the beginning, speaking a bit louder.

“I sp- specifically ch- chose the m- mediums I did to capture this l- look. The figure of the g- grim reaper in the d- d- doorway was made by first drawing it in ink, th- then c- covering it with a layer of dark l- lead. The end result is the th- the grim reaper is b- barely vis- visible. S- secondly, the fine t- tips of the pencils and p- pen allowed me to inc- incorpor- to add details I wouldn’t have oth- otherwise. The whole idea behind the p- piece was that the v- viewer’s eyes would be, uh, drawn, uh, away from the grim reaper, and th- that it would be easy to m- miss if one wasn’t l- looking for it. The only m- medium that could be s- swapped out w- would be the blue pencil b- because it’s j- just there to catch t- the eyes.”

Rayne finished her explanation, blushing furiously over her stutter.

She looked away from her piece and back up at the judges, the pity all over their faces just made her feel worse. This was going horribly. She resisted the urge to stare at her feet.

“Okay, Rayne,” Jackie said soothingly, “Do you have a favorite medium to work with?”

Rayne took a deep shaky breath. Letting it out she turned to look at her work.

“Th- that’s a hard question,” She said, regaining some small piece of her composure, “One I actually think about a l- lot since starting this project. Umm, I uh, I guess I’d have to say no. At this point in my life I can’t pick a f- favorite. Each one is just so good for certain things, and I love being able to draw on those strengths. But I also feel like that holds me back at times. F- for example, I feel like I’ll never be able to paint as beautifully as my friend Ryan over there,” she gestured to Ryan’s display next to her, “He specializes in his painting, and he can manage to create fine details with a brush that I never could, as I just don’t spend enough time working with paint and brushes. The same can be said about my friend Cynthia,” she explained, now gesturing to the display past Ryan’s, “She loves using pencils and ink more than anything else, and with them she can create textures and minute details that I can only dream of.”

At some point over the course of her answer, her confidence had returned.

Jackie nodded, but she had a small frown on her face as she did.

“Thank you, Rayne.” She said.

The last judge stepped forward. One last hurdle and she’d be done. She had already given up hope of making it through to the next round. How could they possibly let her through when all she had done was stutter and desperately try to hold back tears.

“Alright, girlie,” Began Dr. Malone.

Suddenly Cynthia’s voice, filled with sass and unbridled hostility, piped up from the sidelines, “Her name isn’t Girlie. It’s Rayne.”

All at once, the audience, judges, and all the students present swivelled to look at the girl. She wasn’t phased by this in the slightest, in fact it only seemed to egg her on.

“Senior citizens these days.” She continued, shaking her head as in in exasperation. “Can’t even get a name right.” She finished, imitating Dr. Malone’s remark from a few minutes earlier.

Rayne’s jaw dropped, and she’d swear, if her eyes could open any wider they’d pop out of her head.

Dr. Malone just wore a bemused smile. With a flick of her hair, Cynthia turned on her heel and returned to her own display.

Rayne just couldn’t take it anymore; the whole thing was just so ridiculous. She started to giggle. Slowly the audience and judges turned to look at her, bewildered looks on their faces. That just made her giggle harder. She threw her too long sleeves over her face and laughed into her hands. Finally regaining control of herself, she pulled away her hands. The judges and audience were all smiling at one another. At her. Some of them had started chuckling as well. Dr. Malone was clearly trying to look unimpressed by it all, but even he couldn’t completely mask the grin tugging at his mouth. Even the boy who had been staring and glaring at her all night was smiling.

Finally, after another moment, he resumed.

“May we continue now,” there was a short pause, “Rayne?”

Rayne smiled softly and nodded.

“Please tell me, what do you like about your pieces, about your personal style of art?”

What? That wasn’t on the list of questions Berny had warned them about.

Jackie and Mr. Smith’s heads jerked to look at him. Clearly this question wasn’t from the list they were supposed to be ask.

Jackie opened her mouth to say something, but Rayne beat her to it, not losing to inaction for once.

“That’s an interesting question.” She began confidently, “I guess I’d have to say I love the subtleties I work, or try to work, into my pieces. They don’t always workout how I’d like, but I love hiding things in my artwork, things that people might miss if they aren’t paying attention.”

She turned to look at her display. “That was a theme I tried to integrate heavily into this series. In each piece, the grim reaper, Death, is hiding somewhere in the picture. In ‘Patiently Waiting’ he’s hidden in the shadows, the viewers’ eyes drawn elsewhere. In ‘Silently Stalking’ he’s hidden in the fumes from the car. In ‘Standing in Judgment’ he’s reflected in the waves beneath the victim. And in ‘A Solemn Guardian’ he’s very faintly reflected in the window, the only clue to his presence being the child’s gaze. The only piece in the series where death isn’t hiding is in the final piece, ‘Bearing Witness’. That’s because ‘Bearing witness’ is meant to contrast with the other pieces. In all four of the other pieces, Death is looking for someone, but in ‘Bearing Witness’, someone is looking for Death.”

Everyone was quiet for a long moment, Rayne turned back to the judge’s and the audience, “The inspiration for ‘Bearing Witness’ was suicide, for anyone who was unsure.”

Dr. Malone nodded, “One last question, Rayne, before we end our discussion.”

Rayne nodded confidently.

“What would you say you dislike about your pieces and about your style of art?”

Rayne turned back to he displays, carefully considering her next words.

Jackie stepped forward, “That question is unf-

Dr. Malone cut her off with a raised hand.

“Let the girl-

He cut himself off, pursed his lips, and continued.

Let Rayne speak.” He said in a tone that would accept no argument.

Rayne consulted with herself for another long moment before slowly turning back to the judges.

“I would like to say there’s nothing that I dislike about my art and my style as an artist,” She began slowly, “But to do so would be to lie to you and to myself. To me, art has always been about expressing myself, and expressing who I am, so to say there’s nothing I dislike about my style would be like saying there’s nothing I dislike about myself. A huge lie. Ironically, the main thing I hate about my art is also what I love about it. The way I always try to hide things in the art, how I try to draw the viewer’s eyes away from the real message. I think it might cause people to misunderstand my work unless someone explains it to them, and I feel like one shouldn’t have to explain art.”

She turned back to her display once more, “For example, if one is unaware of the theme of death present in this series, then they may fail to notice where Death hides in each piece. Then the connection and deeper meaning between the pieces is lost. However, if one always has to explain that, and point out where Death hides in each image, then that can also erode the impact the series has.”

Rayne turned back to the judges one last time, “I guess that’s the best answer I can give. I hope it was adequate.”

Dr. Malone regarded her slowly, “That was... very profound.”

“Thank you,” Mr. Smith began, cutting in, “For your time today Rayne. We will be getting in touch with your teacher next week to inform you of your results.”

And with that, the judges and the following audience moved on. Or they mostly moved on, one teenage boy stayed behind, still watching Rayne intently.

Rayne was about to confront him when she was suddenly tackle-hugged from behind.

“Oh, that was so great! You really put that mean ol’ judge in his place!” Cynthia gushed.

Rayne just laughed, forgetting the boy for the time being, “I put him in his place?! That’s funny, I could have sworn that was YOU!”

They joked and teased, Ryan and Ms. Mira coming up to join them.

“Really though Cynthia,” Rayne said, suddenly serious, “Thank you. Thank you so much. If you hadn’t said that I don’t think I would have been able to make it through that.”

“Oh, no worries!” Cynthia said happily, brushing it off like it was nothing.

But it wasn’t nothing.

“But,” Rayne began before being cut off by a sob.

Cynthia instantly went from acting like a giddy school girl to acting like a concerned big sister. It was like switch had been flipped.

“Oh, Rayne,” she said soothingly, “What’s wrong?”

Between sobs Rayne managed to choke out what was bothering her, “I’m so scared that what you said, what you did for me… I’m worried that it’ll hurt your chances to proceed.”

There was silence between them for a moment.

“Is that all?” Cynthia asked, “Oh, you silly little girl. I don’t care about that. I mean, it’d be nice to move on to the third showing and all, but if I didn’t stick up for a friend then that would bother me so much more a than getting eliminated from a competition ever could.”

That pure kindness that Cynthia was so full of caused Rayne to break into more tears. Cynthia just hugged her and soothed her, with Ms. Mira and Ryan watching quietly.

Finally, once Rayne had regained her composure, the group returned to their respective displays. There was still an hour left in the showing after all.

Rayne had just collapsed into her chair, closed her eyes, and began to mentally pull herself back together when a voice disturbed her.

“Rayne?” came the familiar voice.

She opened her eyes to see the teenage boy, the boy who had been staring at her all night, standing in front of her.

“Rayne Danahy?” He asked. He was looking at her weirdly. As if there was something on her face.

That voice. It was so familiar. Why couldn’t she place it?

“Yes?” she asked, slightly uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” came the familiar voice once again, “I think somebody must be pulling a prank on me, because you are not who I expected to see here.” The boy reached up and rubbed the back of his head in confusion. Rayne was equally confused, she had only existed for a week and only a select few people knew of her existence. Who else had he been expecting?

“Anyways,” The boy continued.

Where was that voice from?!

“Uh, this might be a weird question, but does the name RaynyDayz mean anything to you?”
The voice. Suddenly she knew who stood before her.

Rayne’s eyes went wide with shock and fear.

She was Rayne no more. Raymond was back, and suddenly very, very aware that he was just a boy in girls clothes.

The name slipped through Raymond’s lips.

“B- Bunny?!”

---

I'm Aliiiiiiiive. Mostly.

Hi all,

Flummox here, finally returning after a much too long hiatus.

Life has been hectic, and I haven't had as much free time as I'd like.

Hopefully that will change soon, and I'll be able to start posting more regularly, but I cannot guarantee anything.

Life, ya'know? Shit happens.

Anyways, I think this was the first real cliff hanger ending so far.

I hope my two month absence hasn't caused too many of you to lose interest, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks, and be well.

Flummox

---

A Blank Page

By Flummox

---

Raymond stared at the older boy in disbelief.

“B- Bunny?” he stammered.

Oh God. Oh God. Bunny couldn’t see him like this. Bunny may have only known Raymond by his screenname – RaynyDayz – but Bunny did know he was a boy. Ray knew he did. Ray had told him.

Bunny’s eyes scrunched up in confusion.

“I don’t understand.” He said, trying to piece together the scene before him, “I thought...” there was a long pause as the two stared at each other. Bunny finally found his train of thought. “You TOLD me you were a guy.”

Raymond just stared. This couldn’t be happening. It was impossible. Bunny was supposed to still be in Seattle. Even after the move he should have been in Vancouver, over 2 hours away. This just wasn’t possible. And yet it was happening.

“H- how is this possible?” Raymond asked, finally finding his voice. “Y- y- you’re not supposed to be here yet.” Tears began to slowly roll down Ray’s cheeks.

“Me and my Mum came early.” Bunny said flatly, “To take possession of the new house.”

“W- why are you here?” Was Ray’s next question.

“No.” Bunny said firmly, “It’s my turn to get some answers.”

Suddenly Ryan was between them. “I don’t know what you said to make Rayne cry man, but you had better move along. Or we’re gonna have a problem.”

Oh God. Now Ryan was going to find out the truth about Rayne. About Raymond. He’d tell Cynthia, the two of them would tell everyone else. It was only a matter of time until it got back to his family.

Raymond could see his whole world crumbling before his eyes.

“Look buddy.” Bunny returned, “I don’t know who you think you are, but me and...” he paused to look at Raymond, “Rayne need to have a talk.”

“No. You don’t.” Ryan said firmly, “Not if she doesn’t want to.”

The tension between the two was palpable. The name ‘Bunny’ certainly didn’t seem to fit the image Ray had built in his mind over the years. Bunny stood several inches taller than Ryan, and while he didn’t look like a jock, one could not deny that he was in good shape. Ryan on the other hand, while not necessarily in bad shape, wasn’t an athlete. None the less, he was completely unafraid of the bigger boy.

“Why is Rayne crying?!” Cynthia exclaimed, a bit too loud for Raymond’s liking. She and Ms. Mira had taken notice of the confrontation at this point and were rushing over.

“Now why don’t we all just calm down.” Ms. Mira said, trying to prevent the situation from escalating any further, “I’m sure if everyone can just relax, we’ll get this figured out.”

Slowly, the two boys broke apart.

“Okay,” Ms. Mira said calmly, “First of all, my name is Mira, this is Cynthia and Ryan.” She said introducing the group. “From the sound of things, you already know Rayne here. Would you tell us who you are?”

Bunny hesitated, taking a look at the still petrified Rayne. “My name is Logan.”

“Okay, Logan,” Ms. Mira continued, “Can you tell us what happened?”

“All I did,” Bunny – Logan – slowly explained, clearly frustrated by the whole situation, “Was ask her a question. Then she froze up, and broke into tears.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit!” Cynthia declared furiously, much to Ms. Mira’s annoyance. “What kind of question would do that to her?!”

Logan took a hard look at the crying girl before answering. “I asked her if the name RaynyDayz meant anything to her.”

Ms. Mira, Ryan, and Cynthia looked at each other, then to Logan, and finally to Rayne. Clearly not understanding.

“Uhhh, Should it?” Cynthia asked, her fury temporarily forgotten.

“R- R- RaynyD- Dayz is the screenname I g-go by online.” Raymond said, finally finding his voice. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone, he just stared straight ahead.

“Okaaaaay?” Cynthia said, still not seeing what that had to do with anything.

“Me and Rayne are friends online.” Logan explained patiently, a small edge of frustration still present in his tone, “The reason for all the confusion,” he paused to look at Rayne again.

Oh God. Here it comes. The beginning of the end of life.

Logan continued, “is because I was led to believe that ‘RaynyDayz’, and by extension Rayne, was a boy.”

Cynthia began to laugh. Wiping tears from her eyes she spoke. “Rayne? A guy? Oh please. That’s ridiculous. Look at her! How could you ever think she was a guy?!” She continued laughing. Finally getting a hold of herself a moment later.

Ryan gave a heavy, exasperated sigh. “Because, Cynthia,” he said slowly, “Rayne is Raymond Danahy. The boy we ate lunch with on Tuesday.”

Raymond’s head whipped to look at Ryan’s. He met Raymond’s shocked gaze easily. Completely calm. How did he know? Could Ms. Mira have told him? No. She wouldn’t do that.

Cynthia looked at Ryan sceptically, “Oh come on Ryan. That’s insa-

Her head spun to look hard at Raymond. Slowly her eyes widened in first recognition, then disbelief.

A sob burst from Raymond’s lips and he buried his face in his hands.

Before Cynthia could say anything, Ryan spoke up, “I figured it out after Lunch on Tuesday. I had already thought it was weird that you would share a last name with the two most popular kids in school, even after your explanation. But at lunch, no matter how hard you tried to contain it, you couldn’t hide your excitement when you heard me and Cynthia made it to the second showing. Lunch also jogged my memory that there was a third Danahy child at our school. A boy in the 9th grade. All of that, combined with the fact that within five minutes of us leaving, Rayne was texting us about her own results. Awfully fast reaction for a girl who supposedly goes to school in another town.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Cynthia demanded, “I thought we were best friends!”

“Cynthia.” Ryan said calmly, “Of course we’re best friends. I didn’t tell you because it was NONE of our business. If Rayne wanted us to know, we would know.”

Cynthia grumbled but conceded the point.

“Wait.” Logan said after the exchange had ended, turning to look at Raymond again. “You’re telling me that you actually are a boy?”

Raymond just lifted his face from his hands and stared at him. He couldn’t manage anything else. He didn’t need to say anything. Logan took his silence to be a yes.

“Why are you dressed like this then?” he asked, gesturing to Raymond.

“How about,” Ms. Mira began, stepping in, “We take a break, wait for the showing to end.” She glanced at her watch, “There’s only half an hour left after all, then all five of us can go sit down somewhere, and Rayne and I will explain everything.”

“YOU WERE IN ON IT THE WHOLE TIME?!” Cynthia exclaimed, stunned by the revelation.

Ryan face palmed. “Of course she was you idiot. Someone had to give Rayne a recommendation. Right?”

“Oh. Right.” Cynthia said lamely, “Well whatever. That’s fine with me I guess.”

Ryan nodded that it was fine with him.

Ms. Mira turned to look at Logan who nodded slowly, still looking at Raymond oddly.

“Is that okay with you, Rayne?” Ms. Mira asked, turning to look at the girl and emphasizing the girls name.

Rayne once more, her lip trembled, but she managed to squeak out a small “yes.”

 

~o~O~o~
 

The remaining half hour went by much too quickly for Rayne’s liking, and a short time later the five of them were sitting in a small coffee shop. Logan, Ryan, and Cynthia sat, looking at Rayne expectantly. Rayne had shyly ordered a hot chocolate, much to her embarrassment as everyone else ordered coffee.

“Okay,” Ms. Mira began, taking charge as if this was just another class, “On the first day of school, Raymond approached me. I had offered him a recommendation to the competition last spring, but he had been unsure. Over the summer, he had come to the decision that he wanted to enter. Raymond has always had anxiety issues with large crowds, and with the sharing of his art. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle doing both at once, no matter how badly he wanted to.”

The other three teenagers were listening intently.

“His older sister, Evalyn Danahy,” she said, turning to look at Ryan and Cynthia, “Suggested to Raymond and I, that he enter under an alias, wearing a disguise. The two of them convinced me to agree, and now here we are. Anything to add Rayne?”

“N-no. That’s basically the story in a nutshell.” She blushed and looked down at her drink.

“Sooooo, you’ve been crossdressing to enter a competition so no one would know it was Raymond Danahy’s art?” Cynthia said, clearly unhappy with the story.

“Basically yes.” Ms. Mira answered on Rayne’s behalf.

Ryan’s face was unreadable as usual. Cynthia, on the other hand, was a different story. Cynthia looked hurt.

“So, the shyness, the stammering, how easily embarrassed you were. That was all just because you were a boy in girls’ clothes? I thought we were friends.” She said weakly, “Was that all just part of the disguise too?”

Logan just watched and listened. Face passive and unreadable.

Ms. Mira opened her mouth to speak, clearly not expecting much from the petrified Rayne.

“NO!” Rayne said – almost yelled. She immediately blushed furiously as she realized the other patrons of the coffee house had turned to look at her.

“No.” she said again, much quieter. “It’s not like that at all.” Rayne was trying to keep herself from crying. She had already cried too much tonight.

“Then what is it like?” Cynthia asked, clearly unconvinced.

“In the beginning,” Rayne tried to explain, “This was just a disguise. But it was never because I was embarrassed or ashamed of my art, or because I wanted to trick you. It’s…” Rayne hesitated. “It’s hard to explain.”

“We came here for an explanation,” Ryan said neutrally, “So you might as well try.”

Rayne sighed heavily, quickly wiped away the building tears, and gathered her thoughts.

“It’s because I’ve always hated who I am.” She began.

“My entire life,” Rayne continued, voice shaking, “I’ve hated who I am. I’ve always felt a profound sense of wrongness. Just from existing. I’ve always been horrified by the very idea of sharing my art, because art was one of the only ways I could ever been able to escape those feelings.” Rayne turned to Logan, “The only other time I could find any relief was when I was online with you.”

Ms. Mira looked shocked. She hadn’t known how Raymond had felt.

“I dressed up as a girl, because I was afraid of how people would react to my art, and somehow, I thought that if they didn’t see Raymond, then their rejection would hurt less. That was all I wanted or expected from disguising myself.” Tears began to run down Rayne’s cheeks, “But then it was so much more. For the first time in my entire life, I didn’t feel wrong. I didn’t feel like a mistake. I felt like this was how I was meant to be.” Rayne turned to look at Cynthia. “The girl you got to know wasn’t just a by-product of me hiding my identity. I’ve always been shy and awkward. I’ll admit, dressing up may have made it more prominent, but I never wanted to hurt you.”

Rayne buried her face in her hands and cried. Welp. It was done. The truth was out. Her three best friends would hate her now. Next it would be her family-

Arms embraced her and began to rub her back comfortingly.

“Dry your tears. It’s okay.” Cynthia soothed.

Rayne looked up through her teary eyes. Cynthia and Ms. Mira had tears in their eyes as well. Ryan and Logan both looked deeply concerned.

“So Rayne, you…” Ryan began hesitantly before pausing, “You wish you were born a girl?” he finished, barely above a whisper.

Rayne’s jaw trembled. “I- I don’t know. Everything’s just so messed up.” Rayne blushed and put her head in her hands. “I was born a boy, and I was raised a boy. I’m so confused.”

There was a long silence.

Finally, it was Logan who broke it.

“Ya know,” he said, scratching his nose, “I thought you were a girl for the first several month’s we knew each other. I don’t really care how you dress or what you want to be. Whether your name is Raymond, Rayne, or whatever. At the end of the day, you’re still my friend, RaynyDayz. Right?”

Rayne looked up in shock.

“Yeah!” Chipped in Cynthia, “Sorry I was so harsh before. I just don’t like being lied to. Especially by my friends.”

“Ya know,” Ryan added. “You could dress and live as a girl, and even if you changed your mind and went back to being a boy in 6 months, it wouldn’t really bother me. It’s really none of my business, and as long as you’re still the nice person I believe you to me, I’ll continue to enjoy spending time with you.”

It couldn’t be that easy. They couldn’t all just accept it without question. Could they? A fresh batch of tears came to Rayne’s eyes. For once today, however, these weren’t tears of sadness or terror, but happiness.

“You’re all okay with it? Just like that? You don’t think I’m insane or a freak?”

“Insane?” Logan repeated, “No way. A freak? Probably.” He teased, “How could someone your age draw and paint like you do and NOT be a freak.”

That got Rayne giggling.

Logan continued, “Like, I mean, I’m no art aficionado, but DAYUM. You’ve got some skill.”

After Rayne was more comfortable and no longer on the verge of breaking down, Ms. Mira finally spoke, and brought up an important question.

“Rayne,” she said softly, “Everything you just told us, does your family know? Do your parents know?”

Rayne looked at her feet. “No.” She said, barely above a whisper. “Only Eva knows. Eva and the school councillor.” Rayne looked back up, “And none of you can tell them! None of you can tell anyone! Please.” She looked around, making eye contact with each of them.

Each of the teenagers nodded slowly.

“Promise me.” She begged.

“My mouth is sealed!” Cynthia swore.

“Not a word.” Agreed Ryan.

“I don’t know anyone in the country except you, Rayne.” Said Logan jokingly, “So even if I wanted to, who could I tell?”

“Rayne, I know it’s scary,” Ms. Mira said softly, “But this is really something your parents should know about. They might be able to help you.”

Rayne shook her head adamantly.

“Rayne.” Logan spoke up, “This is your decision, but you said it yourself, you were surprised when we were all okay with it. Have you considered that your family might be okay with it too? I know you’ve told me in the past about how masculine both your father and brother are, but would this really bother them?”

Rayne opened her mouth to respond, then closed it, realizing that Logan had made a very good point.

Rayne had been wrong about how her friends would react. Maybe she was wrong about her family too.

“Just promise me you’ll think about?” asked Ms. Mira gently.

Rayne nodded before looking at Logan, eager to change the subject. “So tell me one more time, with a bit more detail. Just how are you here right now?”

He laughed. “Me and my parents decided-

“My parent’s and I.” Rayne corrected with a sassy grin.

Logan rolled his eyes before restarting, “My parent’s and I decided that it would be beneficial for-

He paused to look meaningfully at Rayne before continuing. “My mother and I”

The group laughed.

“To head to Vancouver a few weeks in advance. This way we could take possession of the new house, get everything moved in, and I could get started in my new school.” He explained, “When I messaged you on Monday I had been planning on asking you to meet up tomorrow, but then you mentioned the art gallery and I thought it would be a cooler to just show up and blow your mind.”

Rayne giggled, “Well, I think it’s safe to say my mind was VERY blown.”

The group chuckled as Rayne blushed.

“So your Mom had no problem with you making a two hour drive to see someone you only knew online?” Cynthia asked, surprised.

“Well it wasn’t quite that simple,” Logan said lightheartedly, “My parent’s have always been super chill. As long as I maintain good grades in school they pretty much give me free reign.” He explained. “My parents’ were aware that I had an online friend that I was very close with, and that he lived near to where we were moving. I helped my Mom around the house all afternoon, and convinced her by telling her the truth. That I’d be meeting you in a very public place, and that I’d identify you from a distance first to make sure you were actually who you said you were.”

“Ahhhh” Rayne understood now, “So, that’s why you were staring so creepily?” she teased. “Your lucky I’m new to this whole girl thing. Another girl may have reported you.”

The group laughed as Logan’s jaw dropped.

“Well in my defense, you didn’t exactly look like how I expected you to.” He pointed out.

“Well you’re not exactly what I imagined either.” Rayne countered.

“Oh really?” Logan asked sceptically, “And what were you expecting?”

“Your online name is Bunny. I was expecting someone cute like a bunny.”

“Are you saying I’m not?” Logan asked, feigning offense.

“Are you saying you are?” Rayne retorted with a raised eyebrow, leaning forward with her chin in her hand she continued, “So tell me then, Bunny, what features do you find ‘cute’ in a man.”

Logan’s jaw dropped again, he tried to say something, but just stammered incoherently.

Cynthia and Rayne broke into a fit of giggles.

Ryan placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder, and looked at him.

“Girls.” He said, shaking his head as if that explained everything.

Logan wasn’t defeated yet though, he looked at Rayne indignantly.

“What features do YOU find cute in a man?” He shot back, “You’re the one who was expecting me to be cute after all.”

Rayne’s laughter stopped. Her face went though a few shades of red before she covered it with her hands.

The whole group laughed.

“Anyways, If you MUST know,” Logan began dramatically, “I watched a lot of the Monty Python stuff with my dad when I was a kid, and one joke always cracked me up. Have you ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Near the end the cast goes to fight this horrific monster, and it turns out to be a little bunny rabbit. They think it’s ridiculous at first, but then this little bunny starts massacring them. And THAT’S where my screen name comes from. A Killer Bunny.”

The conversation went on from there, and soon, it was time to go home. The group slowly split up, Rayne had been about to message Evalyn, telling her where they were for when she picked her up, but Logan had stopped her, saying that he could give her a ride home. So instead Rayne messaged Evalyn a location they could meet at, so that Rayne could change back into Raymond before going home.

Ryan and Cynthia hopped into Cynthia’s car, Ms. Mira was initially against Logan giving Rayne a ride home, but together Logan and Rayne managed to convince her that they would be fine. She had agreed under the condition that Rayne call her on her cell the moment she was safely home.

“You know,” Rayne said, as they walked towards his car, “You didn’t have to offer me a ride.”

“I know.” Logan replied, grinning slyly, “But what kind of man would I be to leave a little girl alone in the middle of a town she doesn’t know.”

Rayne blushed at that, but didn’t argue. “So, uh, would you still want to do something tomorrow?” She asked hesitantly.

Logan looked at her. “Are you asking me on a date?” he asked jokingly.

Oh jeeze.

Even though Rayne knew that was a joke, she couldn’t help but blush furiously. “I just meant to, like, hang out or something.” She said. “You said that was what you originally wanted to do, right?”

Logan laughed, “Yeah, I did say that. In order to get out here tonight though I had to promise my Mom I’d spend the majority of the day tomorrow helping her unpack.”

“I could help!” Rayne exclaimed as they reached his car, then quickly added, “I mean, only if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

Logan chuckled, unlocking the vehicle. “How would you get to my place? It’s all the way in Vancouver, and I can’t exactly be making a two-hour drive here and back again tomorrow just to pick you up.”

Rayne frowned. That was true. The two of them climbed into the vehicle.

“Ugggh.” She groaned after they were seated. “I wish I had my license.”

Logan smiled as he began the drive to Lakewood. “Just relax Rayne, we might not be able to hang in person this weekend, but it’s not a big deal, right? We can hang out online once I’m done.”

Rayne conceded the point, and they spent the rest of the drive talking. First, they talked about art, Rayne trying to explain techniques and materials that Logan had never heard of. Eventually she gave up and got Logan to tell her more about himself. She learned that outside of school and videogames, he was really into martial arts and had studied them since he was a little kid. He practiced mixed martial arts with a heavy foundation in Judo. He told her that he had earned his purple belt, the highest level of belt a junior student could reach in America. However, since he had recently turned 17, the age threshold to be considered a senior student, his purple junior belt had been converted to a sankyu brown belt. He explained further that a sankyu brown belt was the third highest ranking one could achieve, however he was unsure how that would transfer into the Canadian Judo ranking system. That, of course, required an explanation on how different countries martial arts groups divided the ranks differently. By the time Logan was finished telling Rayne about his Judo the drive was half over. Rayne assumed he practiced at least one other martial art however, he had said mixed martial arts after all. They spent the rest of the drive just talking about video games and life in general.

 

~o~O~o~
 

Logan pulled up to the gas station where Evalyn had agreed to meet them. It was only five minutes from home. Seeing her inside, they walked to the door. Evalyn eyeing Logan suspiciously the whole way.

“Eva!” Rayne said cheerfully, greeting her sister with a warm hug.

“I would like you to meet my friend Logan,” she said, gesturing to her friend, “Logan, this is my big sister Evalyn.”

They shook hands, Evalyn still glaring. “Alrighty then.” She said, turning to look at Rayne, “Wanna explain what’s going on?”

“How about,” Logan said, speaking up for the first time since entering, “We let Rayne go get changed, while I begin to explain.”

Evalyn turned to Rayne and handed her the duffel bag that had been sitting next to her, “How much does he know?” she whispered.

“Thanks Eva,” Rayne said as took the bag before whispering back, “Just about everything.”

Rayne headed to the single unisex washroom at the back of the station, locking the door behind her.

 

~o~O~o~
 

A short time later Raymond emerged, still wearing his lingerie under his clothes, and went to rejoin his sister and friend.

Logan was looking him up and down, “This was more along the lines of what I had been expecting.” He teased.

Evalyn laughed too. Clearly, they had gotten everything cleared up in the brief time he had been in the washroom.

“Alright, I should be getting going.” Logan announced after a few more minutes of chatter, “I have a long drive ahead of me, and a busy day tomorrow. It was wonderful meeting you Evalyn, and it was wonderful meeting you in person RaynyDayz.” He finished, avoiding the use of Raymond’s boy name.

“You as well, uh,” Raymond paused, “I never thought to ask. Do you prefer Logan or Bunny?”

Evalyn giggled into her hand. “Bunny?”

“Screenname.” Both Logan and Raymond said at once before laughing.

“I’d prefer Logan in public so I’m not a laughing stock.” He said teasingly, “But Bunny is fine if it’s just with friends.”

On that note both parties went their separate ways.

“What excuse did you give Mom and Dad?” Raymond asked as they climbed into Evalyn’s car.

“I said you were out with some friends.” Evalyn said, “Which technically was not a lie. It just wasn’t the full truth.” She justified.

“Something happened tonight that’s making me rethink not telling Mom and Dad.” Raymond said after a moment, capturing Evalyn’s attention.

“You wanna tell them?” She asked, excited at the prospect.

“No. I’m not quite ready yet.” Raymond quickly clarified, “More like I want to test the waters.”

“How so?” Evalyn asked, confused.

“I’m not sure yet. But basically, without tipping them off, I want to see what their opinions are.”

“Opinions on what?” Evalyn asked, not understanding what he was trying to imply.

Raymond sighed heavily, “Their opinions on transgendered people.” He said, looking down.

“Do you believe that’s what you are Ray?” Evalyn asked gently.

“I don’t know.” He said, avoiding eye contact, “But I do know that I feel so much better when I’m dressed up as a girl. So I’m starting to think I might be.”

Raymond felt better when he was dressed up? That was the understatement of the year. When he was Rayne, he stopped hating himself. He was happy. He was comfortable. He was free. He was right.

Evalyn didn’t say anything. She could tell he wasn’t in the mood to talk. They drove home in silence. Upon arriving Ray barely said hello to his family, he just explained that he was really tired. He climbed the stairs to his room. Once behind the closed door he gave Ms. Mira a quick phone call, as he had promised. Minute’s after hanging up he was collapsing into his bed. He really was tired. He was emotionally exhausted. Thinking back on the night he couldn’t help but be embarrassed about all the times he had broken into tears. He didn’t think about it for long however, as soon he drifted away into a deep peaceful sleep.

---

Holy. Moley.

Two chapters in less then two weeks? What is this madness?

Things have calmed down a bit. So maybe, just maybe, there'll even be another chapter soon. No promises though.

Anyways, thanks so so much for taking the time to read my story. As always, it means a lot to me. I'd love to hear from you, whether that's in a comment or a message. Whether you liked it or hated it, I'd love to hear why. Advice and criticism helps me to improve as a writer, and also it just makes me feel good. :P

Hope you're having a super fantastic day!

Flummox

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A Blank Page
Chapter 10
By Flummox

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Hello, there!
 
 

Glad to meet you!
 
 

Welcome to the world of Pokémon!
 
 

The old man went on a long spiel, explaining what Pokémon were. Then he asked a question.
 
 

Now tell me.
 
 

Are you a boy
 
 

Or are you a girl?

Raymond’s eyes snapped open. It was early in the morning. 9:00. Awfully early for a Saturday. What a weird dream. He tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but it just wouldn’t come. With a heavy sigh, he climbed out of bed, and stretched, realizing he was still wearing the bra and panties from last night. Lightly blushing, despite being alone in his room, Raymond smiled and got dressed. While he was sorely tempted to leave the lingerie on, he wasn’t willing to take the risk with his whole family home. He put on his boring boy underwear, dull boy clothes, and was about to tie back his long hair into a ponytail when he remembered his earrings.

He reached up and fiddled with one idly while he contemplated what he should do. He thought back to his dream, wondering why he would dream of that scene of all things. He hadn’t played a Pokémon game in years. It had, however, served to remind him of all the questions that he had been asked over the course of the previous week. It seemed like whenever he found the answer to one question, two more popped up. He gave a heavy sigh, pulling his hair from the ponytail. After spending a few minutes in the washroom ensuring his earrings were sufficiently hidden, he descended the stairs to the kitchen.

His mom and dad looked up from their book and newspaper respectively. It was rare for one of the kids to get up this early unprompted on a Saturday. He went to grab a bowl for cereal but his mom stopped him.

“I’m going to make breakfast today sweetheart,” She said cheerfully, “I just wasn’t expecting you kids to be up for another hour at least so I hadn’t started.” She came over to give him a hug.

“G’morning Mom.” He said, returning the embrace. He was the only member of the family that didn’t have at least a few inches on Catalina. “Dad.” He said nodding to his father.

“Good morning son.” His father said, looking back to his paper and taking a sip of his coffee. “Any plans for the day?”

“No, not really.” Ray said, taking a seat at the table with his parents. “How about you guys?”

“Nothing so far.” His mother said with his father nodding in agreement. “However, we will be going to your Grandma and Grandpa’s for dinner tomorrow.” She informed him, “So if there’s anything you need to get done, get it done today.”

Ray nodded.

Upstairs they heard the shower come on.

“Well, I suppose that means I should get breakfast started.” His mom sighed, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Can I help?” Ray asked, the thought striking him out of nowhere.

His mom looked at him. Ray had never really expressed interest in helping her cook before.

“Uh, I, uh, don’t have to if I’d get in the way.” He stammered.

“Oh nonsense. I would love your help Raymond.” His mother insisted, waving his comment away with her hand, “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Catalina got to her feet as Raymond began pulling ingredients from the fridge. Bacon, eggs, and with his mother’s guidance, all the ingredients for homemade pancakes. Working together, it didn’t take long for them to have everything ready. Sebastian came down the stairs just in time to be told to go wake up his sister.

He groaned, “Can’t I have a coffee first?”

Raymond laughed, “Sit down Seb, I’ll go wake sleeping beauty.”

Sebastian ruffled rubbed Raymond’s head. “Thanks, lil’ bro. You’re the best.”

Raymond laughed and fixed his hair before leaving the room.

Catalina watched him leave, eyebrows knitted together.

When Sebastian had rubbed his hair, she could have sworn she saw a flash of metal in Raymond’s ear. Had he gotten his ears pierced? She shrugged the thought away. She was probably imagining it.

Upstairs Raymond gently knocked on his sister’s door.

“Come in.” she replied, almost immediately.

He gently opened the door to see, to his surprise, that his sister was up and sitting at her desk on computer.

“Morning Eva,” he greeted, “Mom and I have breakfast ready downstairs.”

Evalyn turned to look at him. “Great, I’m starving! But first, close the door and come sit down.”

Ray did as he was told and took a seat on her bed.

“I figured out how we can find out Mom, Dad’s opinions on transgendered people without tipping anyone off!” she said excitedly, “And the best part is that you don’t have to do anything! I’ll handle all of it.”

“Really Eva?!” Raymond asked, this could help solve his biggest problem. “How?”

“I’m taking an intro to psychology class this semester,” Evalyn explained, “The final paper is going to be on any topic of our choosing, as long as it’s related to psychology!”

“Okay.” Ray said, not seeing how this helped.

“Anyways, tomorrow night this documentary on transgendered people is going to be on TV!” she explained, “I just have to put it on under the justification that it’s for school, then I’ll just ask mom and dad’s opinions.”

“Eva, that’s great!” Raymond said with disappointment in his voice, “But I don’t think it’ll work. Mom just told me we’re going to Grandma and Grandpa’s for dinner tomorrow.”

“Psssh,” Evalyn said, waving her hand at his concerns, “Do you really think Mom or Dad – or Grandma and Grandpa for that matter – would object if I told them it was for school? I’ll even take notes to make it extra convincing. This is actually better! This way we can get everyone’s opinion!”

Ray put his hand in his chin thoughtfully. She had a point. The whole family knew how passionate Evalyn was about her studies. This just might work.

“Okay.” Raymond agreed, “And if their reactions are good, then I’ll tell them everything. Monday night maybe? After I talk to Mrs. Reid at lunch.”

Evalyn squealed with joy. “Of course their reactions will be good! Mom and Dad have never said anything bad about LGBT people, have they? I mean, Uncle Noah on Mom’s side of the family is gay, and Mom and Dad have always been really close with him, right?

Once again, Raymond couldn’t deny that she had a good point. Maybe all of his fears had been just that? Fears. Maybe he had been blowing the whole thing out of proportion this whole time.

“RAAAAAAY, EVA” Sebastian’s voice called out. “COME ON. I’M HUNGRY.”

Ray and Evalyn rolled their eyes simultaneously.

“Boys.” Evalyn said dramatically, eliciting giggles from Ray.

A short time later the family sat around the dining room table.

“It’s nice to have a family breakfast every once in a while.” His father said thoughtfully, digging into his eggs.

“Did you really make all this, Ray?” Sebastian asked, impressed.

“Oh, it was mostly Mom.” He said, shaking his head and downplaying the meal.

“What!” Catalina exclaimed, “I barely helped at all!”

The whole family laughed. “That’s our ever-humble Ray!” Evalyn chipped in.

“So.” Jameson began between bites, “Raymond, Evalyn tells us you were out with friends last night?” His father raised a curious eyebrow.

“Oh, uh yeah.” Ray said, taking a big bite of a pancake to stall for time to come up with a story.

The whole family was waiting for him to speak. They couldn’t remember the last time Raymond had gone out with friends.

Swallowing his food, Raymond continued, “Do you guys remember that friend I’ve told you about? The one I always play with online?” The closer he could get to the truth the better.

“Yes.” His mother said slowly, not liking where this was going.

“He moved to Vancouver. Me and some of my other friends met up with him.” He saw the look of his shock in his parents’ eyes, “Before you freak, we did it in a public place, and there were three of us and one of him.”

That calmed them down a bit. “And?” his father asked, “Who is he? Is he who he claimed to be?”

“Yeah Dad.” Ray assured, “His name’s Logan, he’s 17, just moved here with his parents.”

“17?” his mom questioned. “Isn’t he a bit old for you to be hanging out with him?”

“Relax Mom, it’s not like I’m dating him.” Ray teased sarcastically, “Besides, the other two friends I was with were 17 and 18 as well.”

His Mom rolled her eyes at his retort.

Now Sebastian was surprised. “Wait, what? Really? Who were they?”

“Two art students from school. You probably don’t know them.” Ray replied.

“What makes you say that? I know lots of people.” Sebastian insisted, “C’mon, what are there names?”

Raymond shrugged and replied. “Cynthia Gnoll and Ryan Deartz.”

Sebastian stared intently at his bacon for a long moment. “Damnit.”

The whole family laughed. “See, I told you!” Raymond said, taking another bite of pancake.

“Ryan’s that really quiet kid.” Evalyn said, “His paintings are absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Some guy tried to give him a hard time for it once to impress his some of the older boys. Ryan knocked the crap out of him.

Woah. Raymond hadn’t heard about that.

Sebastian looked up thoughtfully, “Oh yeeeeeah. That guy. I was one of the people the boy who got beaten was trying to impress. I remember because I thought he was pathetic for thinking such a thing would impress us and was about to step in myself. It was Ryan who impressed me.”

He turned to look at Evalyn, “Well what about Cynthia then?” he asked, trying to stump her.

“Cynthia’s the super crazy happy girl.” Evalyn went on to elaborate, “But, supposedly, she does really dark disturbing drawings. I guess one time one of the guys from the football team asked her out, and when she politely turned him down he said something about how he was ‘the only guy who’d show interest in a ditzy nerd like her’. So, rumor has it, she drew a pretty detailed picture of him making out and having sex with other members of the various athletics teams. All the guys who had ever made a sexist comment to one of the girls got a place in that picture. The resemblance was uncanny. Then she scanned it, printed off a bunch of copies, and they somehow ended up in the lockers of all the grade 12 students.”

The whole family was shocked. Even Raymond. Cynthia was a badass. Raymond was suddenly very relieved to have won her over the previous night.

“CYNTHIA DID THAT?!” Sebastian asked in absolute shock. “I was only in grade 11 at the time, but I still heard about that. Wow.”

“That’s why it’s a rumor. We don’t know for sure. She never got caught.” Evalyn explained, “They didn’t even have enough evidence to connect the drawing to her. I guess all the work she does at school is a lot more toned down, I only know about her real work because she showed me a peek inside her personal sketchbook one day.”

“She showed you her sketchbook?” Raymond asked, suddenly curious.

“Oh yeah!” Evalyn exclaimed, “Me and Cynthia are tight. I adore how happy she always is, and wherever she goes, Ryan isn’t far behind. Those two have been best friends since before I came to the school!”

“Is there anyone you DON’T know at school?!” Sebastian asked in amazement.

Evalyn laughed. “Of course there is! I just haven’t met them yet!”

The family had to laugh at that. Sebastian was popular and had a lot of friends, but of the three of them, Evalyn was definitely the social butterfly of the group.

“Anyways, back to this Logan boy.” Catalina said, changing the subject, “If you met him online and are going to be spending a lot of time with him, we would like to meet him.”

“Okay sure, maybe he could join us for dinner tomorrow?” Raymond asked, “He does live in Vancouver after all.”

“I don’t think your grandparents would appreciate you inviting him to their house,” Jameson said, shooting down the idea, “but perhaps we could meet them for coffee beforehand?”

“Sure. I’ll text him now.” Raymond agreed.

After shooting Bunny a quick message – Ray still wasn’t sure whether he preferred calling him Bunny or Logan – the meal continued.

“So, what does everyone want to do today?” Jameson asked, now that the whole family was together.

“I dunno.” Evalyn said, “But I do have a question about tomorrow. A documentary is coming on at 6:30. It’s important for my final assignment in my psychology class. Do you think it would be okay for me to watch it at Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

“I’m not sure.” Jameson replied, frowning, “You know family dinner is supposed to be family time. Not TV time.”

“Come on Dad!” Evalyn said, exasperated. “It’s not like I’m watching it to get out of spending time with the fam! It’s for school! Everyone is more then welcome to watch it with me even!”

Catalina laughed. “Honey,” she said, looking at Jameson, “The whole family knows how Eva is when it comes to her studies. No one will mind. Besides,” she continued, turning to look at Evalyn, “we also know how mopey she gets when something come’s between her and her studies.”

“AW! I do not!” Evalyn exclaimed, then she blushed lightly and continued defensively, “And even if I did, you should feel blessed to have a child so dedicated to her education.”

“Sometimes I feel a little too blessed.” Jameson replied sarcastically

Their banter brought a fresh round of laughter.

“Well as for today,” Sebastian said, returning to the original topic, “A light burned out in my room, so I wouldn’t mind visiting the hardware store.”

That piqued Raymond’s interest.

“Well we’re there do you think I uh, could maybe get a lock for my room?” he asked hesitantly.

The family turned to look at him.

“A lock?” Catalina asked, one eyebrow raised. “What do you need a lock for?”

“I dunno.” Raymond said, blushing lightly, “I just thought it might be nice to have some privacy every now and then. Eva’s room has one.” He pointed out.

“Just close your door son.” Jameson said, assuming Raymond had just reached that age when all teenage boys needed a little… privacy.

“Oh, as if Dad!” Sebastian chipped in, “You and Mom may knock, but you’ll immediately walk in afterwards if you feel the need.”

Jameson nodded, a rather awkward memory of doing something similar to Sebastian coming to mind.

“Okay.” He said, convinced, “Lightbulbs and a lock for Ray’s door. Anything else?”

No one had anything to add, so after breakfast the family went about getting ready. At Catalina’s insistence Jameson, Sebastian, and Evalyn cleaned up after breakfast since she and Raymond had cooked it. Another hour later and the family was ready to go, Catalina and Evalyn electing to pop into the mall while the boys went to the hardware store. Even though he had asked to go to the hardware store, Ray couldn’t help but feel a bit of envy at his sister for getting to go shopping with their mom.

The shopping trip was uneventful, Sebastian got his lightbulbs, and Ray got his lock, his father promising to help him install it when they got home. Afterwards, the three of them met up with Catalina and Evalyn. To the exasperation of Jameson and Sebastian – and the feigned exasperation of Raymond – they had to follow Catalina and Evalyn around the mall for another half hour. The mother-daughter duo was on a roll, snatching up several of the best deals and cutest items. Raymond slowly growing more and more depressed, desperately wishing he was on the other side of this small division in the family. All he could think about was the test he and Evalyn had planned for the next day. He tried to stay hopeful. Maybe next weekend he would be on the other side.

He could just imagine it. Catalina, Evalyn, AND Rayne. The three of them on a girls’ day out. It was a nice dream.

Finally, the girls gave in to Jameson and Sebastian’s nagging and agreed to call it a day. The family headed out, the guys being enlisted to carry the bags. It didn’t bother Raymond though. It helped him to imagine what it would be like.

When they arrived home, true to his word, Jameson went upstairs with Raymond and helped him install the lock. After testing it to make sure no one would be able to walk in anymore, Jameson took his leave.
No one felt like cooking that night, so Sebastian suggested they order a pizza. With no opposition, he called up a local pizza place, and soon the family was pulling apart a large ooey-gooey deluxe pizza.

Tired and still a bit bummed out after the mall, Raymond headed up to his room. He sat down, preparing to message Bunny to see if he was free, when a knock came on his door.

“Come in, it’s open.” He called out, happy to have a say in the matter for once.

Evalyn opened the door and walked in, hands behind her back. She closed the door behind her with a foot. “Sorry about today.” She said, “I could tell it bothered you a bit.”

Raymond smiled sadly. “Yeah, but who knows? If everything goes well tomorrow maybe it’ll be better next time.”

Evalyn nodded, “Well, hopefully this will cheer you up. I got you something.” She said, pulling a bright pink bag out from behind her back.

“H-how?!” Ray said excitedly, “Weren’t you with Mom the whole time?”

“Yup! I just said it was for me!” Evalyn explained, “So it may be a bit big, but because of what it is that shouldn’t matter.”

“Well what is it then?!” Ray asked, more excited and curious then before.

“I’ll just leave it here for you.” His sister said slyly. She turned to leave, but before she closed the door she stuck her head back in. “Oh, and Ray?”

He had been about to pick up the bag. He looked at her.

“Before you try it on,” She teased, “Just make sure to lock the door.”

Ray blushed and nodded, closing and firmly locking the door behind her.

He slowly picked up the bright pink bag and looked inside. A pale blue garment was the sole content. He slowly picked it up, hesitating when he felt the silky softness. He drew it out and held it in front of him.

It was a pretty, light blue silk night gown. His heart fluttered as he held it. His sister must have gotten him this specifically because of the new lock he had gotten. His first article of female nightwear. Blushing lightly, heart still light, Ray quickly got undressed. Not before double and triple checking the door was locked, however. Trembling, he slipped it on.

Evalyn was right, it was a little big on Rayne, but since it was basically just pyjamas – really pretty, comfy pyjamas – that didn’t really matter. It looked like it would have come down to around Evalyn’s mid thigh, which meant for Rayne it was right at her knees. It had short sleeves so Rayne’s arms didn’t get lost in the fabric. The neckline was mercifully high. It wouldn’t be exposing any of Rayne’s nonexistent cleavage. Sitting down in her chair, Rayne signed on, and was joined by Bunny moments later.

“Hey Rayny! How’s the weather?” came the usual greeting.

“It may not be raining, but the weather couldn’t be more perfect.” She replied, all of Raymond’s fears and apprehension temporarily forgotten.

The two of them didn’t play for long. Just long enough to solidify plans for the next day and have a bit of fun. Bunny noticed that Rayny was using the slightly higher voice of Rayne, but he didn’t mention it. After signing out, Rayne collapsed into her bed, and drifted off into what just may have been the most peaceful, relaxing sleep she had ever had.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne woke up to a knock at the door.

“Raymond?” came her father’s voice. “It’s time to get up. If we’re meeting your friend and his Mom for coffee I want to be gone in an hour.”

“Kay!” She replied, sighing heavily.

“Ray?” came a confused voice. “You feeling okay?”

Rayne’s heart seized as she realized she had called out in her voice, instead of Raymond’s.

“Yeah Dad!” He called hastily, Raymond once more, “My throat was just dry from just waking up.”

He closed his eyes and prayed his father would believe him.

“Oh, okay.” His father called back, “See ya downstairs.”

Raymond released a huge sigh of relief and went about getting ready. As he grabbed a pair of briefs and the clothes he would wear, he thought longingly of the lingerie hidden away in Evalyn’s room. He would have liked to have worn some, but oh God. If anyone in the family found out? That was not a confrontation Raymond was ready for yet. No matter how well the test ended up going tonight.

He quickly ducked into the washroom, and after showering and doing everything he needed to do, returned to his room to dress. He took the nightie from where had left it under his covers, and after caressing it one last time, tucked it away in a pillowcase. He left his room, pausing at the top of the stairs. He turned around and walked to his sister’s room.

Knocking gently, he called out, “Eva?”

“Come on in lil’ bro!” she called back.

He opened the door and quietly closed it behind him. He turned to look at her. She sat at her vanity, doing her makeup.

“What’s up?” she asked as she carefully applied mascara.

She had to stop, however, as Raymond pulled her into a huge hug.

“Thanks Eva.” He whispered.

“No problem lil’ sis.” His sister whispered back.

Raymond blushed as he got up to leave, “See ya down there.”

He left her to get ready and descended to the dining room.

Using his phone, he brought up the address of the coffee shop he and Logan had agreed upon. Over breakfast he showed his parents, and after breakfast the family piled into the van, ready to get the day underway.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The van pulled into the parking lot shortly before 12:00. They had made good time and were a few minutes early. Walking in, they took a seat. After confirming it was okay with an employee, Ray and Sebastian pulled another table over so as to accommodate the whole group upon Logan’s arrival.

They didn’t have to wait long, Logan walked in right at 12:00, a middle age woman right behind him.

“Logan!” Ray called excitedly, waving his hand.

Logan smiled and, after placing an order at the counter, led his mother over to join them.

“Oh wow!” his mother exclaimed, “I wasn’t expecting so many of you!”

“I’m sorry, we’re going for dinner at my parents’ after.” Jameson explained, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” She said warmly, “I think that’s wonderful.” She extended her hand, “I’m Katelyn. You can call me Kate.”

Kate was of average height, with long curly black hair. She had light grey eyes over which she wore a pair of black glasses.

Catalina and Jameson each shook her hand warmly, “I’m Catalina, and this is my husband Jameson.”

“A pleasure.” Jameson greeted.

Catalina continued, “These are our children, Sabastian, Evelyn, and our youngest, Raymond.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you all.” She said warmly, after shaking each of their hands she placed a hand on her son’s shoulder. “This is my Logan.”

More hands were shaken.

“Will Logan’s father be joining us today?” Jameson inquired after everyone had been introduced and had shaken hands with everyone else.

“Oh, Jack won’t be joining us for another two weeks.” She explained, “He has a few things to wrap up in Seattle first.”

“So, what do you think of Vancouver? Of Canada?!” Raymond asked excitedly.

Katelyn laughed, “While we have only been here for two days, Raymond.” She said light heartedly, “But so far it seems beautiful, and the people seem nice.”

Raymond blushed lightly and felt silly. Of course. He should have known that.

They spent the next hour lightly conversing. Jameson and Catalina told Katelyn about themselves and what they did, and Katelyn what she and her husband did in turn. Both parties found it incredible that Logan and Raymond would form such a strong friendship without ever having met in person until two days earlier. The adults all exchanged phone numbers, just in case the ever needed to get in touch. Finally, Jameson declared it was time to go. After more hand shaking, the two parties went their separate ways, all of the parents feeling much more comfortable about their respective child’s friend. Raymond and Logan promised to hang out for real – in person – some time soon.

The Danahys piled back into the van, and were soon on their way to the children’s grandparents.
 

~o~O~o~
 
It wasn’t much longer before Raymond and his family stood outside his grandparent’s door. Evalyn had already rang the doorbell, they were just waiting to be let in.

The door slowly opened, but to everyone’s surprise no one seemed to be on the other side. At least that was how it seemed until Lizzie’s little head peaked around the door.

“RAY! EVA! SEB!” The little girl screamed joyously before running into Ray’s arms.

“Sorry,” Olivia greeted cheerfully, appearing from behind the door, “Lizzie insisted on getting the door herself.”

“Nothing to apologize for Mom,” Jameson said with a smile, he turned to look at the little girl. “I would, however, like to know where my hug is?!”

Lizzie giggled happily, before jumping into Jameson’s arms. “Hi Uncle Jamie!” she said happily. “Hi Aunty Cat!”

Lizzie always called everyone by their nicknames. If they didn’t have a nickname she would make sure to give them one. If Raymond wasn’t mistaken, Lizzie was the only person in the world who could get away with calling his father ‘Jamie’.

Jameson and Catalina each gave the girl a tight hug, and slowly everyone managed to file into the house. They took their shoes off, and from the pile of shoes already present, each of them came to the conclusion that they were likely the last to arrive.

Sure enough, they entered the living room to see Jameson’s siblings, Lisa and Frank, engaged in conversation. Off to the side, Lisa’s husband, Johnathan, was surprisingly present for once. He was, however, busy typing away at his computer. It wouldn’t be a stretch to call the man a workaholic.

Through the window, they could see the twins, JR and Billy, wrestling in the backyard. Grandpa Frank stood nearby, watching and laughing. Lizzie’s big sister, Mackenzie, sat on the patio furniture, texting away on her phone. Nothing unusual there.

Lizzie ran up to her father, “Daddy! Daddy! Everyone’s here now!” She said excitedly.

Johnathan looked up from his computer, “No. Way.” He said, feigning disbelief. “EVERYONE?” He asked dramatically.

Lizzie giggled and nodded, “See?!” she said, pointing at Ray and his immediate family.

“Hmmmm, I dunno.” He said doubtfully. “You had better list them off for me.”

Lizzie giggled again and slowly went around the room, pointing and naming off everyone in it. Finally, she finished. She looked up at her father with her ever-excited eyes.

“Wow.” He said, as if he couldn’t believe what she had just done, “That was incredible.”

She giggled happily.

“How about,” he began again, “You go show Grandpa? I’m sure he would love to see that.”

“Okay!” she squealed excitedly, running off to the backdoor as Johnathan stood up to greet his newly arrived in-laws.

As was the standard, the woman received hugs, the men a firm hand shake. After some idle chatter, however, Johnathan returned to his work.

After greeting his aunt and uncle, Ray exited to the backyard to say hello to his Grandfather and other cousins. He did this only after Sebastian had gone first of course. Otherwise he was liable to be tackled by JR and Billy. Sure enough, it was just as he thought. Sebastian was immediately dragged into the wrestling match, the twins barely acknowledging Raymond’s presence.

“Hi Grandpa.” Ray said quietly. Not sure if his Grandfather had even noticed Ray and Evalyn’s presence between the wrestling boys and the 5-year-old girl rambling on in front of him.

His Grandfather held a finger up to Lizzie’s lips. Pausing her temporarily. He turned to Evalyn and Ray, looking them both up and down.

“Evalyn,” he opened, “You’re looking more and more beautiful with every passing day.”

He pulled her into a gentle hug before turning to Raymond.

“And Raymond,” he paused, “My, your hair is getting long. That’s much too long for a young man, too long for any man for that matter. We’ll need to get that taken care of one of these days.”

Ray didn’t know what to say, it was true his hair was much longer than most guys, but Raymond had grown to love his long hair. He didn’t want it ‘taken care of’. On top of that, he needed it if he wanted to be Rayne.

Once again, Evalyn came to his rescue.

“I disagree completely Grandpa!” She said adamantly, “I know that may have been true when you were a boy, but it’s soooooo different now! Lot’s of celebrities and musicians have long hair! Even a lot of pro athletes have long hair!”

He looked at her, unconvinced. He started to open his mouth, but Evalyn wasn’t done yet.

“As a matter of fact,” she continued, “A lot of woman like a man with longhair, I know some of my friends sure do.”

Grandpa Frank grumbled to himself. “I suppose it’s not really doing anyone any harm, but I still don’t like it.”

Evalyn forcing their Grandfather to back off had bolstered Ray’s confidence. “That’s totally okay Grandpa,” He said with a small grin, “And you don’t have to like it, because I do. And that’s all that matters.”

His Grandfather’s eyebrows raised and Evalyn beamed. “Well, uh, okay then. I just think it looks girly.” He teased, not really sure what else to say.

Ray rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance. Secretly, however, the remark had made his heart swell.

Grandpa Frank turned to re-enter his house and say hello to his youngest son.

Evalyn and Ray turned to greet their last cousin, although they weren’t expecting much from it.

“Hey Cuz!” Evalyn said enthusiastically, “How’s it hangin?”

Mackenzie glanced up from her phone, “Hi. Fine.” She returned to her phone.

Evalyn and Ray just looked at each other and shared a grin and a small giggle.

Mackenzie looked back up, “Ugh, whatever.” She muttered, rolling her eyes.

Evalyn and Ray giggled some more at that before sitting down on the patio, watching Sebastian and the twins wrestle. It wasn’t long before Lizzie came running back, crawling up into Raymond’s lap.

“Will you read to me again later Raymin?!” she asked hopefully.

Ray couldn’t help but giggle at her big hopeful eyes. She was just so adorable. “I would LOVE to read to you again Lizzie.” He emphasized, “What should we read?”

“Really?!” She said, her eyes getting bigger then Ray would have thought possible. “I brought my all time most favorite book!”

“Really?!” Ray asked, mirroring her excitement, “What book is that?!”

Evalyn giggled to herself throughout the entire exchange

“Green Eggs and Ham!” She said, surprisingly dramatically for a five-year-old.

“No. Way.” Evalyn chipped in, “Lizzie! That’s my favorite book too!”

“REALLY?!” Lizzie asked, in absolute amazement.

“Really.” Evalyn finished.

Lizzie jumped up and ran off to tell someone. Anyone who would listen really.

Ray and Evalyn shared another laugh. The two of them sat there chatting idly until their Grandmother stuck her head out the door to call all the kids in for dinner.

JR and Billy blasted across the yard and into the house immediately. Ray and Evalyn stood around for a few seconds to wait for Sebastian to join them.

“Jeeze, those two never run out of energy.” He said, breathing slightly harder than usual.

Inside the house everyone was slowly taking a seat as Olivia and Catalina brought out the food. At Lizzie’s insistence, she sat between Evalyn and Ray. Their Aunt Lisa and Uncle John must have asked them about five times each if they were okay with it.

Finally, everyone was seated. Everyone except Mackenzie who was still seated outside on her phone. With an annoyed sigh, Johnathan stood up, and stepped outside.

A moment later they heard Mackenzie’s scream of annoyance. “HEY, GIVE IT BACK.”

Johnathan walked back inside, Mackenzie’s phone in hand, his daughter hot on his heels.

“Dad, give it back.” Mackenzie said quietly, suddenly embarrassed to be having this scene in front of the entire family.

Johnathan whirled around. “If I can close my computer and take a break from my job, something that’s actually important, to make time for a dinner with our family. Then you can put down your phone, something unimportant, for that same meal. You can have your phone back when we leave.”

She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off, “And if I hear ONE more word of complaint, I’ll keep it for a week.”

Her mouth clamped shut. With fury written all over her face, she took a seat.

Soon dinner was fully underway, people engaging in their own conversations with whomever was nearby. On one side, Ray had Lizzie of course, but on his other his Uncle John had sat down, saying that if they needed to, he and Raymond could easily swap seats so he could attend to Lizzie.

“So, Raymond,” His Uncle John began between bites, “I have to say, you look great. I didn’t even recognize you at first.”

“Oh, uh, thanks Uncle John.” Raymond said, realizing it was the first time he had seen his uncle since last Christmas. He had changed a lot since then. “I worked really hard to get in shape. Both Sebastian and Evalyn helped me a lot.”

“That’s great to hear.” John said, he looked like he was about to say more but was cut off.

“I think he looks like a giiiiiiiiiiirl.” JR taunted from across the table.

The comment didn’t phase Ray in the slightest, but his Uncle John spoke up for him none the less. “Nonsense! Ya know who has long hair like Raymond? Rock stars.”

Ray just laughed, JR didn’t know what to say about that.

By now most of the family had taken notice of the conversation.

“So, does this mean you’ll be on the football team this year Raymond?” his Uncle Frank inquired from next to Billy.

Ray shook his head as he chewed his food, “No, uh, football isn’t really for me. I’m not really into sports at all actually.”

“Bah,” Came his Grandfather’s voice from down the table, “What young man isn’t into football or at least some other sport?”

“Young artist men.” His Aunt Lisa piped up. “You were more of the artist type. Weren’t you Raymond.”

“Is that so?” his Uncle John said in surprise, “I wasn’t aware of that.”

“Eh, I dabble a bit I guess.” Ray said, echoing the line he had used several months earlier. When he had last used that line to describe his art Evalyn had refused to let it go. This time he looked at her with a glare. Silently demanding she didn’t say anything. She giggled, but thankfully remained silent.

“Still into that silly art stuff?” His Grandfather scowled, “Where is that gonna take ya in life?”

“It doesn’t need to take me anywhere.” Ray replied slowly, suddenly self conscious, “Right now it’s just something I enjoy. Like how Sebastian enjoys football.”

“Huh.” His grandfather huffed, “The difference is that Sebastian can actually go places with football. You need to man up, and start taking life seriously Raymond.”

Sebastian bristled, “That’s going too far Grandpa. How can you say Ray won’t go anywhere with his art? You haven’t even seen his art! No one here has! And maybe there’s a reason for that! Our whole family has never encouraged that sort of thing. It’s always all about sports. Even Mom and Dad,” he paused and looked at his parents, “I’m sorry, but it’s true. When we were little kids you always told us, we could do or be anything. But now, whenever Ray’s art comes up, you just say something along the lines of, ‘oh well it’s fine as a hobby.’ Why can’t it be more?”

Everyone was completely taken off guard by his Sebastian’s outburst. He was usually such a relaxed, ‘go with the flow’ kind of guy, that no one had expected this. Ray was on cloud nine from his brother’s defense, and Evalyn wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Anyone who knew Sebastian should know that the one time he wasn’t relaxed and easy going was when it came to his siblings. He would do anything for them.

Jameson awkwardly put down his fork. “Sebastian, you’re absolutely right.” He began slowly, “There is no reason why it cannot be more. But you have to look at the facts. Very few people can make it as an artist, and it’s important to have a backup plan-

“Okay.” Sebastian interrupted, “Let’s do that. Let’s look at the facts. The amount of high school football players who go into college football? About 1 in 17. The amount of college players who make it into the NFL? About 1 in 50. Ultimately, only 9 in every 10,000 High school football players will make it to the NFL. Now, keep in mind that these statistics are for the NFL, and not the CFL, but that’s a 0.09% chance of me making it. You don’t need a head for numbers like Raymond to realize my chances aren’t great. And yet, none of you have ever had a doubt in your minds. Why can’t you have that same confidence in Raymond? If you all have so much faith that I can make it as a pro football player, why is it so damn hard to believe he might be able to make it as an artist? WHY?!”

He looked around the table. Even Ray and Evalyn were surprised now.

“Sebastian, honey,” Catalina began, trying to de-escalate the situation, “We have never once ever said we didn’t think Raymond could make it as an artist, we’ve just always told him to have a backup plan.”

Sebastian took a deep breath, and let it out as a heavy sigh. “That’s not the point Mom,” he said, regaining his calm, “It doesn’t bother me that you think he should have a backup plan, on the contrary, I agree completely. What bother’s me, is that while sure, it’s true that you’ve never said you didn’t think he could do it, I’ve also never ONCE heard you say you believed he could. When he was recommended for that art competition last spring, you didn’t even mention it again after you found out. Not to mention that we didn’t even find out from Raymond. It was Eva who told us. I wonder why that was?” He finished rhetorically, sighing heavily and looking down at his plate.

A silence fell over the room. Jameson and Catalina had nothing to say. They hadn’t realized it until now, but Sebastian was right. They had always told Raymond that art was a hobby, that he should have a backup plan and not get his hopes up. While at the same time, they told Sebastian that if he tried hard he couldn’t fail, that if anyone would make it, it’d be him. They ensured he had a backup plan, but they always encouraged him.

The silence went on for a long time, everyone just quietly eating their food.

Finally, Evalyn piped up, “So, uh, kinda an awkward time to ask this,” Everyone turned to look at her.

Jameson gave an exasperated sigh, “Evelyn, now really isn’t the time.”

“It kinda has to be Dad,” she replied, “It’s 6:15. It starts in 15 minutes.”

“What starts in 15 minutes’ dear?” Grandma Olivia asked, eager to change the subject.

Jameson rubbed his forehead. After Sebastian’s outburst there was no way anyone would refuse her and risk another conflict.

“There’s a documentary on at 6:30.” Evalyn explained, “It might be invaluable to my final paper in my Intro to Psychology class.”

“Psychology?” Their Grandfather inquired.

“Yeah, Grandpa!” Evalyn exclaimed excitedly, “It’s the study of the human mind and how it develops! I’ve been thinking lately that it might be something to study in university!”

All the adults smiled at that. It was well known that Evalyn changed what she wanted to study after high school on a weekly basis.

“Well,” Olivia began, “I think everyone’s done or almost done eating, yes? Why don’t you and your Grandfather go see if you can’t get it set up. Everyone who wants to watch can join you after we tidy up a bit, and then I’ll bring out tea and dessert.”

Everyone went about getting ready, the confrontation at dinner slowly leaving their thoughts.

It turned out that over the course of dinner a heavy rain had begun to fall, ruining any chances for an after-dinner football game, or for the twins to go wrestling in the backyard again. So, a short time later, the entire family of 14 found themselves cuddled up in the small living room. More people then the couches were intended to hold squeezed into them, a few chairs pulled in from the dining room held others. Johnathan sat on the floor with the twins, Lizzie sitting in his lap. Everyone had just gotten settled as the documentary began.

The title showed up on the screen

She’s a Boy I knew

While everyone else was watching the TV screen, Raymond was watching everyone. They all had one almost unanimous reaction. Their brows scrunched up in confusion at the contradictory title.

“Evalyn dear,” Oliva asked hesitantly, “What’s this documentary, uh, about exactly?”

Evalyn didn’t hesitate at all. “It’s about transgender people, gender identity, and coming out. It was actually made right here in Vancouver! It even won the People’s choice Award for Most Popular Canadian Film!”

“O-oh, um,” Olivia began, clearly taken aback.

“Before you ask,” Evalyn said confidently, “There shouldn’t be anything inappropriate for the little ones. I made sure before even considering asking.”

Just like that, the family couldn’t get out of it. When Olivia had suggested they join Evalyn, she had said it would do them all good to learn something new. She could hardly get them out of it now, just because the topic made her uncomfortable.

“What’s a tranjunder?” Billy asked innocently.

Once again, Evalyn answered immediately, not giving anyone the chance to give a wrong answer and potentially negatively influence the young boy’s thoughts. “Transgender people, are people who weren’t born the right gender. So, that could mean boy’s who want to be girls, or girls who want to be boys.” She explained it as simply as she could, trying to make it so the young boy could easily wrap his mind around it.

He made a weird look, but he didn’t say anything else.

The family sat there together, watching the documentary silently. A few time’s people shifted uncomfortably, but Ray couldn’t be sure if that was because of the content or the confined space. Evelyn, true to her word, took notes throughout the whole thing. Finally, when it ended, there was a short silence.

Evalyn turned in her seat to look at the family. “Alright,” she said, breaking the silence, “I didn’t plan this, but if you guys don’t mind, I think it could be really useful to get your opinions on the documentary. After all, we have both men and woman from three different generations all gathered under one roof. Would that be okay with everyone?”

No one specifically said it would be, but they also didn’t say it wouldn’t, so Evalyn just plowed straight ahead, deciding to go from oldest to youngest.

“Grandpa, Grandma?” She asked, “What did you think?”

“I uh, I certainly thought it was…” Olivia paused before continuing, searching for the right words, “Interesting. But that boy’s poor family.” She continued, “Their son put them through so much.”

Ray noted that even though the ‘son’ in question had become a ‘daughter’, his Grandmother still referred to him as a ‘boy’ and a ‘son’.

Evelyn made some notes before turning to their grandfather.

“I thought it was clear that the boy wasn’t right in the head.” He said adamantly, “No one should ever wish to be a different gender. It’s damn unnatural.” He declared.

Ray stiffened, but thankfully everyone was looking at either his Grandfather or his sister. Not him.

Evelyn kept her cool effortlessly, made another note, and moved right along.

“Uncle Frank?” she asked.

I think they should have gotten the boy professional help from a young age. There must’ve been signs.” He declared, “That’s what psychologists are for right? Maybe in a few years you’ll be able to help straighten boys like that out.”

This wasn’t going well. Ray’s chest felt like it was getting tight.

“Aunt Lisa? Uncle John?” Evalyn continued, “Your thoughts?”

Aunt Lisa went first, “Well, if it didn’t hurt anyone or he kept it private it wouldn’t bother me, but like Mom said, that boy – girl, I suppose – that girl’s poor family went through so much heartbreak because of his- her selfishness.”

Oh God. Is that all he Raymond would bring to his family if he really became Rayne? Trouble and pain? Would he be being selfish if he carried on down this path?

“I don’t know,” Jonathan began, “I feel like she couldn’t help it, just like how they say homosexuals are born that way, maybe she was too?”

Evelyn nodded, continuing to take notes.

“Mom? Dad?” she asked, “What do you have to add?”

Okay. Moment of truth. No matter what everyone else says, they were the ones that mattered.

Catalina hesitated, “I feel bad for.” She paused, looking for the right words, “The person. Clearly, they were suffering, but how did they know this is right? How do they know their problem was they were the wrong gender and not just, I don’t know, depressed? Regardless, it’s good they got help. Makes me wonder how this works in the legal system.”

Evelyn nodded, noted, and turned to their father.

“It uh, certainly is a bizarre world we live in.” he began, “Honestly I don’t really know what to say. I’ve heard of transsexuals before, but I always thought they were just perverts. I never thought they honestly believed they had been born in the wrong bodies. It’s a shame. This documentary has been very enlightening, however. Very educational. I think we all learned a lot.”

Raymond trembled. No. No. No. How could that be their reaction? He had been so hopeful.

But it wasn’t over.

“Sebastian?” his sister asked.

He took a deep breath, “Alright, so I’m not trying to play devil’s advocate or anything like that, but I don’t think one documentary is enough for anyone to form a real opinion. You saw a video about a trans woman. You didn’t meet the real thing, right? Maybe they should be given the benefit of the doubt.”

There were some shrugs of acknowledgement around the room. His sister made another note. They were almost done. Just a few more.

“Raymond?” she asked.

Shit. It didn’t even occur to him that he’d have to give his own answer. Hold it together. You just have to get through this.

“I, uh, I don’t know.” He managed to choke out, “L-like Seb said, it’s hard to m- make an opinion with just a v-video.”

Their grandfather chuckled. “Hard to make an opinion? The boy’s so disturbed he’s pale as a ghost.”

Evelyn ignored the comment, made a note, and continued.

“How about you Mackenzie?” She asked their cousin, who, in the absence of her phone had actually watched the documentary, “What did you think?”

She rolled her eyes, “I think he was just a pervert.”

Ray was flabbergasted. How could she think that?

“Anything else to add?” Evalyn asked with a raised eyebrow.

Mackenzie shook her head.

Evelyn pursed her lips, nodded, and made another note.

“JR? Billy?” she asked gently, “What did you think of the movie?”

JR scrunched up his nose, “I thought it was weeeeeeird. Why would a BOY want to be a GIRL?!”

“Yeah, weird.” Billy echoed, but with less determination in his voice.

Finally, Evelyn turned to Lizzie. “How about you sweetie? What did you think of the movie?”

Lizzie’s face scrunched up, deep in thought, “I was happy that the boy got to be a girl in the end! Who wouldn’t want to be a princess?!”

The whole family laughed at that, JR and Billy both raising their hands while loudly shouting, “ME!”

“Alright.” Olivia began, eager to move on, “How about some dessert, then we’ll call it a night? Hmm?”

The family slowly filed back into the kitchen. Raymond waited behind for a moment, then ran to the washroom. He was going to be sick. Closing and locking the door behind him, he leaned over the toilet and deposited the contents of his stomach.

A few moments passed.

There was a knock on the door.

“Raymond?” the concerned voice of his mother called, “Are you okay?”

After a moment, he called back, “I’m, uh, I’m not feeling well. Gimme a moment.”

He slowly stood up, washed his face, and rinsed out his mouth. Then, after staring at himself in the mirror for a moment, he turned and opened the door.

His mother stared beck at him, clearly concerned.

He tried to play it off, “Dinner must not have sat well with me, I’m fine now though. Don’t want any dessert though.”

“O-okay.” She said hesitantly, “we’ll get going soon and get you home to bed, sound good?”

He nodded weakly. His bed was all he wanted right now.

Just as his Mom said, they left soon. Upon learning he wasn’t feeling well, his father and siblings actually chose to forgo dessert. They just said their goodbyes and left. The drive home was long, awkward, and silent. Raymond guessed that Sebastian’s outburst was still hanging over his parent’s head. That would likely mean another talk Raymond didn’t want to have in the near future. Whatever. As long as it wasn’t tonight.

When they finally got home at 10:30, Raymond went straight to bed. He closed and locked his door behind him, even ignoring Evelyn when she knocked. He just needed to sleep, but first, to cry.

Cry, and then sleep.

---

---

Hello!

Flummox here.

This chapter was... difficult. For a variety of reasons. There were a few scenes that I poured over again and again trying to get right. And I'm still not sure about them. Hopefully they will come across how I want them too. That's the main reason there was a bit of delay for this one.

I also finally hit 10 chapters! Yay! I know this is something small and inconsequential - there are many stories posted here that started after mine and have already passed me - but it feels like a bit of a milestone nonetheless.

As always, thank you all so much for taking the time to read my story. I know I'm slow at times, but I really appreciate your encouragement, patience, and criticism. I still have so much to learn when it comes to writing, but I feel like I have improved immensely in the short time I've been here. So thanks for that too.

Whether you liked it or hated it, I would love to hear from you via comment or private message. I make an effort to read and reply to every message and comment I receive - although it sometimes takes me a week or two.

With love,

Flummox

---

A Blank Page
Chapter 11
By Flummox

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The next morning – Monday morning – Raymond got up earlier than usual. He stepped into the washroom and got a quick shower, then dressed, packed his school bag, and went downstairs.

Catalina was shocked when he walked into the kitchen. The kids were never up before she went to work.

“Oh, Raymond!” She began, “You’re up early today. Feeling better I hope?”

“Good morning Mom. Much better.” He lied, his stomach still knotted from the previous night. “I thought I’d get an early start on the day. Maybe walk to school.”

His Mom was wearing a dress suit. She had her briefcase in one hand, a coffee in the other. She had clearly been about to leave.

“Well, I would offer you a ride,” she began, “But I don’t think the school will be open this early anyways.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it Mom. I feel like walking. By the time I get there the doors will be open. I’ll still be really early, but I won’t have to stand around outside. I’ll just go study or something.”

His Mom nodded, gave him a hug goodbye, and walked out the door.

Raymond wrote a note to his father, explaining that he had gotten an early start on the day, and taped it to the coffee pot where his father couldn’t possibly miss it. He contemplated getting breakfast, but thinking he would have trouble stomaching it at the time being, elected to just start walking.

He pulled on his shoes, a thick sweater, and wrapped his scarf around his neck. Shouldering his bag, he walked out the door.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The lake was so peaceful this early in the morning. Ray didn’t think he had ever been there this early before. It was so quiet. So serene.

He had decided to stop by the lake on his way to school. It wasn’t exactly on the way, but he desperately needed to clear his head, and to Raymond, there was no better place.

He hopped across the bridge of stepping stones and sat down on his favorite rock. Watching the ripples cast by the light breeze, he wondered what he should do. He had calmed down since dinner last night, but being calm didn’t change the fact that he felt like his heart was breaking. He had been so optimistic. So hopeful. And their responses had been… so negative. At the very best, some of them could be called neutral. What was he going to do? He could either face rejection from his family, or keep on living with that oppressive sense of discomfort and wrongness.

Both options terrified him.

Feeling the tears beginning to well up, he shook away the negative thoughts and took a deep breath.

“Focus on the now.” He whispered to himself.

Yeah. He could figure out a plan with Ms. Reid and Evalyn later.

He smiled sadly. Evalyn. At least she didn’t hate him.

For the time being he would just focus on the art gallery. He would soon find out if he had made it to the third showing. Then the actual event after that.

He took a deep breath and agilely hopped back to the shore. He needed to get moving. His parents would certainly have some questions if they received a notice that he had been late for class after he had left for school almost two hours early. He pulled on his headphones and blasted some music to get him pumped up for the walk.
 

~o~O~o~
 
He walked into class right as the bell rang. The first few weeks of the school year had been going so well. Raymond still tried to keep to himself, but that was much harder now. People seemed genuinely interested in him. He had been initially sceptical, trying to gauge if their interest was in him, or in cozying up to Sebastian and Evalyn as people had tried in the past – or if it was just because of the changes his body went through over the summer. But now a few weeks had gone by, and while the excitement had gone down and people weren’t as interested, he still had some who were asking him questions. The questions were thankfully mundane; how was his weekend? What he was up to for lunch? What he was doing after school? He answered their questions as briefly as he could, still uncomfortable with how different their attitudes were from last semester, and quickly found his seat.

It was bizarre. Many of these students either shunned him or ignored him completely last semester. Now they were being so nice. Was how someone looked really such a factor in how they were treated? Apparently in high school it was.

Attendance was taken, and soon the students were off to their classes. Raymond threw himself into his studies. Anything was better than the worries and fears lingering at the back of his mind.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Please, come in Raymond.” Ms. Reid greeted him. Lunch had come quickly, and, as per their agreement last week, after eating Raymond had come straight to see the student councillor.

“Good afternoon Ms. Reid.” He greeted quietly as he shuffled into the room, closing the door behind him, and taking a seat.

“How are you feeling today?” She asked as she folded her hands on the desk, watching him carefully.

“Fine, I guess.” He lied.

“Fine?” She inquired, “Just fine?” She raised an eyebrow.

An awkward silence hung over them for a few seconds before Raymond grimaced.

“Horrible.” He finally admitted, a heavy frown dragging down his lips.

“Why horrible?” She asked gently, “Did something happen?”

Ray nodded.

“Last night we had a big family dinner,” Ray began, electing to leap right into it rather than wait for her to ask, “My parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles, and cousins were all there. The entire family on my dad’s side.”

Ms. Reid nodded and began to take some notes on the pad of paper in front of her.

“Eva and I,” He hesitated briefly before continuing, “We decided to test them.”

“Test them?” Ms. Reid inquired, an eyebrow raised.

“Y-yeah.” Ray nodded, “Eva figured it all out Saturday night. There was a documentary on about a man who transitioned to become a woman.” Ray explained, “Under the explanation that it was important to her studies, Evalyn managed to convince the whole family to watch it with her. So we could see their reactions.”

Ray tried to swallow back the large lump that had been growing in his throat. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

There was another short silence, finally broken by Ms. Reid.

“I’m guessing,” She began slowly, “That their reactions were not what you were hoping for?”

It was all Raymond could do to shake his head.

Ms. Reid gave him a moment to collect himself.

“They were all negative. Or at the very best neutral.” He managed to mumble. “How can I ever tell them now?”

“Raymond,” Ms. Reid began, smiling gently, “This test you ran, you have to take the results with a grain of salt.”

He looked at her, not understanding what she meant.

“From the sound of things,” she began to elaborate, “For many members of your family this was the first real exposure or piece of information about transgendered people. That’s not enough for them to really form an opinion on the topic.”

Ray nodded slowly. A few of them had even said something along those lines.

Another thought occurred to him.

“Am I though?” he asked, looking up, “Transgendered I mean?”

She looked at him carefully before slowly saying, “Do you think your transgendered?”

Ray looked at his feet. It was a question he had been struggling with a lot over the past week. He felt like he should have been born a girl, but at the same time, it was hard for him to accept that. Was that his problem? Was that why everything about his body felt wrong? What if he was wrong about that? He was second guessing himself, but he had to push all of that away for the time being and answer as best he could.

He slowly nodded. Not looking up from the floor.

Ms. Reid sighed. “Raymond, I’ll be honest with you. This is outside my area of expertise. I’ll do what I can for you, but I’d really like for you to see someone who specializes in gender therapy and transgender youth.”

“O-okay.” Ray said, not seeing where this was going.

“The issue with that,” Ms. Reid continued, “Is that it will be very hard to do so without informing your parents.”

“My sister wouldn’t mind taking me.” Ray said quietly.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t.” Agreed Ms. Reid, “But the person I had in mind is in Vancouver, will your sister be able to take you all the way there and back without tipping off your parents? Even then, the psychologist in question may not be willing to take you on as a patient without your parents’ consent.”

It was impossible. Raymond knew it the moment she mentioned Vancouver. There was no doubt in his mind that Evalyn would be willing to take him, but that was a long drive, and a lot of money in gas. It wasn’t feasible without his parents, and like Ms. Reid had said, even if it was, the doctor might not agree.

“The next step, Raymond,” Ms. Reid continued gently, “Can only be to bring your parents in.”

Tears flowed freely now.

“I can’t.” Ray managed to whisper. “They won’t understand.”

“You don’t know that.” She urged, trying to comfort him.

Ray just shook his head and wiped away the tears.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Raymond slowly collecting himself.

“When you’re en femme.” Ms. Reid said, breaking the silence and trying to resume their conversation, “Do you have a name?”

“En femme?” Ray asked between sniffles, unfamiliar with the term.

“Yes,” Ms. Reid continued, “En femme basically means when you’re in your female persona. Do you have a name?”

Ray nodded shyly.

“May I ask what it is?” Ms. Reid asked, trying to draw the boy back out of his shell.

“It’s, uh, Rayne.” He said quietly, not knowing why he was blushing, but blushing lightly nonetheless.

Ms. Reid nodded, “When you’re Rayne, do you ever feel the discomfort or anxiety you feel as Raymond?”

Raymond slowly shook his head. “No, not really. I’m still shy, maybe even more shy, but I don’t feel like I’m going to die just from people looking at me.”

Ms. Reid nodded again and continued, “When you think about telling your parents, that’s what you need to think about. It’s the only way you can keep being Rayne. Right now, Rayne comes out just for the art shows, right? What happens when those are over? Will you be able to just give her up?”

Raymond looked at the floor again and shook his head. No. It had only been a couple of weeks, but he already knew he couldn’t.

“If you keep on dressing as Rayne while living with your parents, eventually you will get caught.”

Ray was silent.

“It’s better for you to tell them yourself than for them to discover you.” She finished.

Ray nodded. She had a point.

“But how do I do it?” Ray asked, “I don’t think I’ll be able to just tell them.”

Ms. Reid nodded thoughtfully. Good. She seemed to have him on board. That was the hardest part. “I think,” she began, “That I’d like to meet Rayne. Maybe with Evalyn present. And we can make a plan.”

Ray looked up at her in surprise. “Wh- what? When? How?”

Ms. Reid replied easily, “How about on Friday after school? That’s when you’ve been getting dressed up the last two weeks right?”

Ray nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, but I don’t know if I’ve made it to the next round yet. If I haven’t, then I wasn’t planning on being Rayne, and if I have I’ll need to leave right away.”

Ms. Reid nodded, “Well, if you haven’t then it gives you a reason to, and if you have, then I can get you and your sister out of class early.”

Raymond nodded slowly. “Okay.” He agreed.

A short time later they ended the session for the day, Ray assuring her that he would let her know whether he made it to the third showing or not as soon as he knew.

The hardest part would be convincing the studious Evalyn to leave class early if he did!
 

~o~O~o~
 
Evalyn was waiting for him at his locker at the end of the day.

She raised an eyebrow, posing a silent question about his absence around the house that morning.

“Hey squirt.” She said in greeting, leaving that talk for the drive home.

“Hey Eva.” He replied, “How was your day.”

“It was fine.” She answered, “Although I was a bit lonely in the morning.”

Ray rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop himself from giving a small smile.

Together they walked to her car. She had been giving him a ride to and from school every day so far that semester. He had asked her about it the second week of school, all she had said was, “It was wrong of me to say you embarrassed me. That wasn’t very sisterly. I’m sorry and I won’t be acting like that anymore.”

The two had left it at that, but Ray didn’t think she knew how much it truly meant to him.

“Alright. Spill.” His sister drew him from his thoughts as she turned the ignition.

Raymond sighed heavily.

“After last night, I just needed some time to clear my head.” He explained wearily.

Evalyn nodded.

“I figured as much. What did you think of last night? Everyone’s reactions I mean?”

Raymond looked at her in shock.

“What did I think? I think that’s obvious.” He said, clearly upset, “I think our whole family is going to hate me when they find out.”

That got Evalyn’s attention. For a split second, she looked at him before turning back to the road.

“WHEN they find out?” She asked cautiously, “Not if?”

Ray sighed heavily again. “Yeah. When.”

When she said nothing, he continued.

“Today I met with Ms. Reid again. We talked about a lot, but ultimately she told me that I needed to see a specialist, and that doing so would be near impossible without Mom and Dad knowing.”

Evalyn’s brow furrowed in thought. “A specialist?” she asked, “Isn’t Ms. Reid the specialist? And why would it be impossible without telling Mom and Dad. I mean, I think it’s a good – No – Great idea to FINALLY tell them, but why is it necessary?”

“It’s because the specialist is in Vancouver.” Ray said with a sigh, “And apparently, is unlikely to take me as a patient without Mom and Dad knowing.”

“And we need this specialist becaaaaaause” Evalyn asked, dragging out the last word to probe for an answer.

“Because they specialize in gender therapy, and transgender youth.” Ray mumbled.

“O- Oh.” Evalyn said, suddenly understanding.

They sat in silence for the rest of the drive, each deep in their own thoughts.

Finally, as they pulled up to the house, Evalyn turned to look at Raymond.

“So is that it?” she asked hesitantly, “You’re definitely transgendered?”

Ray just looked at his feet. “I’m still not sure.” He said, “All I know is that when I’m Raymond everything about me is messed up, horrible, and wrong. And when I’m Rayne I feel so” he paused searching for the right words. He turned to look his sister in the eyes, “I feel so right.” He finished.

She nodded slowly. “So we’re telling them at dinner tonight then?” she asked.

Raymond’s eyes widened with fear, “NO. Oh God no.” He adamantly denied.

Evalyn became very confused.

“But,” she started eyes scrunched up, “You were just telling me we need to tell them.”

“Yeah, we do.” Raymond sighed heavily, “But not tonight.” He stressed.

“Then when?” Evalyn asked, exasperated.

“Probably next week.” Raymond explained, “Ms. Reid wants to meet Rayne in person first.”

“Oh! I see.” Evalyn said in understanding.

“She actually,” Raymond continued, “Would like to meet with you and Rayne at the same time. So you all can make a plan about how to tell them.”

Evalyn giggled. “Okay. When?”

“Well,” Raymond began, confused as to why his sister was giggling. He didn’t think this was a laughing matter. “She would like to meet you and Rayne after school Friday, however, if Rayne makes it to the third showing of the talented youth event, then you and Rayne may have to leave class early. Would that be okay?”

Evalyn burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?!” Ray asked, getting mad.

“I’m sorry,” his sister managed between laughs, “I need a second.”

Ray glared at her until she calmed down.

“Okay,” She said, breathing deeply to regain control of herself.

“This isn’t a joke Eva.” Ray said seriously.

She gave him a gentle look, “Oh, Ray. I’m sorry for laughing. I know it’s serious, it’s just-

She had to stifle another laugh.

“It’s just what?!” Ray demanded.

“It’s just that even though it’s just the two of us you’ve been talking about Rayne as if she’s someone else entirely. You’ve basically been talking in third person, instead of saying ‘I’ you’ve been saying ‘Rayne’. That combined with the seriousness of tone, and your super serious facial expressions, it just cracked me up.”

Raymond gave her a blank look. He took a moment to think back on what he had said, and realized it was true.

Evalyn – watching him go from angry, to confused, to contemplative, to realization so rapidly – couldn’t help but burst into another round of laughter.

Raymond glared at her, trying to look stern. That just made her laugh harder.

He couldn’t do it anymore. How did that saying go? If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?

Ray slowly broke into laughter as well.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The rest of the afternoon was uneventful, Ray ran with Sebastian, got his homework done, and was soon sitting down with his family for a nice family dinner.

The each talked about their days, how school and work had gone, and what they had planned for the rest of the night.

As they were getting ready to wrap up, Jameson spoke up.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” He began, “It’s been a while since we had a good men’s weekend.”

Sebastian looked up eagerly.

“I was thinking this Friday, as soon as class gets out,” He looked at Sebastian and Ray in turn, “The three of us could drive up into the mountains to spend the weekend camping. I spoke to your Uncle Frank and he and the twins would love to join us too. Grandpa might even come.”

Sebastian couldn’t contain his excitement, “That sounds awesome Dad! We never managed to make it out this summer!”

Ray was less enthused. It wasn’t that he disliked camping, on the contrary he loved the outdoors. More then anything it was because it would be just the men, of whom he had little to nothing in common with. Normally he would just suck it up and put up with the trip, but the real issue was that he was already booked Friday evening.

Jameson looked at Raymond expectantly.

“Gee, uh, that sounds great dad, but I kinda have plans Friday night.”

“What plans?” his father immediately asked. “You were out the past two Fridays. I know your enjoying the new you son, but you have to make time for family.”

Raymond didn’t know what to say. He was a poor liar when put on the spot.

“Logan.” Evalyn piped up. Everyone turned to look at her. “Raymond was telling me on the ride home how excited he is to actually hang out with Logan Friday night, since they haven’t really had a chance yet.”

Raymond didn’t hesitate to latch on to the lifeline. “Exactly. We agreed to get together Friday night. He said he was willing to pick me up at home Friday night, then, Saturday morning or afternoon, he’ll drive me home.”

“Oh, really?” Catalina joined the conversation, “That’s awfully generous of him. Gas is so expensive.”

“I told him I’d buy him a tank of gas.” Ray defended desperately.

“With whose money?” Sebastian teased.

Ray once again, was left not knowing what to say.

Evalyn once again, tossed him a lifeline.

“Lemme clarify.” She began, eyeing him mischievously, “Ray told Logan that he’d buy him a tank of gas, and I told Raymond I’d front him for this tank of gas if he cleaned my room and car.”

Ray opened his mouth to object, but realizing if he did then the story wouldn’t stick, closed it again. He elected to simply nod instead.

Their Father was clearly disappointed. “I dunno.” He said, “we rarely have opportunities like this. I’d really like for you to be there son.”

Ray didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know if Rayne had made it to the third showing yet, but if she had, she couldn’t miss it because of him.

Wow, he realized and made a mental note that Evalyn had been right. He really was thinking of Rayne as a separate entity from Raymond. But now wasn’t the time to ponder that.

Not knowing what else he could do, he fell to his last resort. Begging.

“Please Dad?” he pleaded.

Their father just looked at him, clearly indecisive.

“Can I make a suggestion Pops?” Evalyn said, stepping in again.

Everyone turned to look at her.

“Ray’s gonna be back home Saturday afternoon at the latest, right?” She asked, “I’ll drive him up to the camp ground as soon as he gets home. That way he’ll be there for at least half the trip.”

Jameson slowly nodded. “That’s a fair compromise. If you’re okay with driving him Evalyn, I can accept that.”

Ray gave a heavy sigh of relief.

“Just don’t forget Eva,” Catalina spoke up again, “I’m flying out Thursday night to a conference in Toronto. I won’t be back until Saturday, so you’ll be fending for yourself for food Friday night.”

She shrugged the comment off, “Eh, I’ll probably see if I can just mooch a dinner invite off a friend.”

Shortly after, dinner wrapped up, and the kids headed upstairs to their respective rooms.

“Thanks for the backup at dinner Eva.” Ray said quietly, “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“No worries little bro, I’m getting something out of this too.”

“You are?” he asked in confusion.

“Yeah!” She said excitedly, “You’re cleaning my room and car. Remember?”

The look on Raymond’s face made it obvious that he had thought she was kidding. She wasn’t. It was necessary for their cover story after all. She’s probably help him, but he wasn’t getting off the hook.

The two had a quick laugh before Evalyn gave him an unexpected hug.

“I really am getting something out of this though.” She whispered into his ear, “A little sister.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Tuesday went by smoothly, he ate lunch with Cynthia and Ryan, the threesome falling into the usual easy routine of Cynthia gushing about whatever was on her mind, with Ryan and Raymond simply listening and throwing out the occasional comment. The three ate their lunches outside the art room, hoping for some information on the results of the last showing. Lunch ended with them disappointed, each heading to their respective classes, accepting that they would have to wait for the next day to find out the results.

Finally, Wednesday arrived and found the three of them eating lunch together once more, with the added addition of Ms. Mira, who was expecting the email any moment.

There was little conversation that day. Even Cynthia was too apprehensive to really talk much.

After what seemed to be an eternity, but was really only a few minutes, Ms. Mira’s phone buzzed, signalling the arrival of an email.

She looked at her students seriously.

“Before we read this, I want each of you to promise me that no matter the results, you won’t let it discourage you and you’ll continue to give your work everything you have. Okay?”

All three nodded.

Ms. Mira unlocked her phone and read the email.

Her shoulders slumped. She didn’t say anything.

“We didn’t make it.” Ryan said plainly, not needing her to read it.

“Oh, shush.” Cynthia scolded him, “We don’t know that yet.”

“Ms. Mira sadly looked up at the three of them.

“Only two of you made it.”

Oh. That took Raymond off guard. For some reason, he had it stuck in his head that it would be either all of them or none of them. He didn’t know what to say.

Apparently, none of them did, as Ryan and Cynthia were equally quiet.

Ms. Mira just watched them. Finally, Cynthia spoke up, “Well get on with it then. Whoever it is who didn’t make it will just have to be happy for the other two. We came this far together after all.”

She met both Ryan and Raymond’s eyes in turn.

“Absolutely.” Ryan said confidently.

Raymond nodded. “I’m sure it’s you two who made it though. You’re both so much more experienced and skilled than me.”

“Nonsense.” Cynthia declared. “I thought we’d already established that you have every right to be in this competition and have just as much skill as me and Ryan.”

After a moment, Raymond slowly shook his head, “I’d like to agree with you Cynthia, but I just can’t. You should have said ‘Ryan and I’. You’re totally right about my art ability though.”

Cynthia stared at him blankly for a moment before the whole group burst into laughter.

Once they had collected themselves, Ryan turned to Ms. Mira, “Alright, just tell us. Who didn’t make the cut?”

Ms. Mira nodded slowly, glanced at the email again then looked back at the group.

“I’m so sorry Cynthia.”

Cynthia’s ever happy jaw hardened. She nodded slowly.

“Alright then. I’ll just have to redouble my efforts in the future.”

Ryan immediately went to give her a hug. Raymond followed immediately afterwards.

“Now don’t you two go getting all sappy on me.” She said adamantly, the cheer slowly returning to her voice, “I fully expect you both to make it through to the real event, and if you don’t I’ll give ya a beatin’.”

Raymond and Ryan had to laugh at that. The rest of lunch was spent consoling Cynthia – much to her annoyance – and making sure she was okay – which she insisted she was.

Raymond left a few minutes early, giving himself enough time to swing by Ms. Reid’s office and inform her of the good news, before dashing off to class.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The rest of the day rushed past, and soon Raymond was eagerly rushing to his sister’s car, looking forward to telling her about his success. They would need to formulate another plan for Friday. They would have to be on the same page for everything to work.

“So do you think you’ll be able to get a ride home from someone Friday night?” Evalyn asked as they left the school parking lot.

“Can’t you pick me up?” Raymond asked, slightly confused.

“Well I made dinner plans with a friend.” She explained, “Remember how Mom said I’d have to fend for myself for dinner Friday night?”

Raymond did remember. He also remembered that Evalyn would burn water if she tried to cook for herself.

“We may go to the movies afterwards” she continued, “so I might not be able to make it on time.”

“But how’s Rayne supposed to change when she gets home then?” Ray asked worriedly, slipping back into third person.

“You’re not.” Evalyn said bluntly, “Mom will be out of town, and Dad and Seb up in the mountains. You can just walk in the door as Rayne and then change at your leisure.”

She glanced at him to see understanding dawn on his face.

“Or not change.” She said playfully, “Mom won’t be home until early afternoon the next day after all.”

Raymond grinned eagerly. Friday was going to be a good day.
 

~o~O~o~
 
That night, Ray powered through his homework. He needed to have it all done by Friday morning as he would have very little time to work on it over the weekend.

At dinner, the family finalized plans for the weekend. With everyone doing different things, it was very important to Ray and Catalina that everyone be on the same page, and know where everyone else would be.

The rest of the night went quietly, Ray focusing completely on his homework.

Thursday too, was peaceful. Ray could feel an excited apprehension growing for the following day, and because of it, the day seemed to crawl by. He did his best to pay attention in each of his classes, but with other things on his mind, he had little success. Finally, the bell rang and he was able to return home.

That night he went for his run with Sebastian. They had found a comfortable pace, and had decided that at this point Ray was happy just maintaining his current level of fitness. He could tell Sebastian was a little disappointed by that, but being the ever-supportive big brother, he didn’t push him. Ray finally finished all of his homework after dinner, and, with Evalyn’s help, selected Rayne’s outfit for the next day. Not that it was much of a decision. Rayne only really had three outfits, two of which she had already worn to the other showings. They carefully wrapped up the outfit and everything they would need for his Ray’s transformation, and loaded it into the duffel bag.

The family drove Catalina to the airport, and each of them embraced and said their farewells. She would only be gone for a few days, but Ray couldn’t help feeling a little emotional nonetheless.

Finally, Raymond collapsed into bed at the end of the long day, earlier then usual, intending to get a good rest. He was eagerly anticipating the following day’s showing. It was the third and final showing. If he made it through, then his work would be part of the exhibit in the actual art gallery! He finally drifted off into dreamland, dreaming dreams of a new life. A life as Rayne.

---

---

Hello hello!

Flummox here with another chapter of A Blank Page!

I wanted to post this, like, 4 days ago, but the last week has been a bit hectic. It’s here now though.

I just wanted to say thank you again for all the support people give me. I cannot tell you enough how much it means. When I’m having a bad day, it’s the words you all share with me that pick me back up.

On that note, I would really appreciate it if you left me a comment or a message telling me what you think! Whether you liked it or hated it, I’d love to hear why. Although if you hated it, please be gentle. I’m fragile ;P

Whether you want to comment/message me or not, thanks so so much just for taking the time to read.

Next chapter’s a big one. So until then,

Flummox out

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A Blank Page
Chapter 12
By Flummox

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Rayne slowly opened her eyes.

“Ugh.” She closed them again, just wanting to fall back into the warm embrace of sleep.

Her eyes snapped open. It was Friday. The day of the third art showing. The day when she would introduce herself to Ms. Reid. They would make a plan. A plan to tell her family everything.

It was going to be a good day.

Raymond once more, he threw off the covers and slowly sat up. He took a deep breath and then stood.

He looked down at the nightie he wore. He wished he could crawl back into bed and wear it all day, but he knew he had to get ready. He stripped it off and tucked it into its hiding place inside a pillow case. He threw on his bath robe, grabbed a change of clothes, and went into the washroom, beating Sebastian by a split second. He closed and locked the door behind him.

“Brat.” Sebastian called out before heading downstairs to the other washroom.

Raymond giggled as he hopped in the shower. He shampooed and conditioned his long hair – taking joy in knowing that it was growing longer every day – and washed his body. After spending a few more minutes just standing there, enjoying the warm rain rolling down his face, he turned off the water.

He dried himself and proceeded to get dressed. The boring boy clothes he would be wearing that morning and afternoon consisted of a pair of blue jeans, and a black button up shirt. He brushed out his hair, and carefully styled it to hide his piercing. After brushing his teeth, he exited the room ready for the day.

He went downstairs to join his siblings for breakfast. Stacked neatly against the kitchen wall was all the supplies Jameson and Sebastian thought they would need for the camping trip. There were two large backpacks, two coolers, and two sleeping bags.

“You’ll have to bring your own things when you join us tomorrow.” Jameson said, noticing Raymond’s examination of the gear pile.

“Okay Dad.” Ray replied, “That’s no problem.”

“I would have had it ready for you,” Jameson went on, watching Raymond closely, “But you locked your door when you went to bed last night. I couldn’t get in to grab your camping bag and sleeping bag.”

Raymond just shrugged, making light of it. “It’s just becoming habit to lock it I guess.” It wasn’t really a lie. He certainly was getting into that habit, he just made sure to reinforce the habit whenever he wanted to sleep as Rayne.

“Well alright.” Jameson said, not making an issue of it, “So what will you and Logan be up to tonight anyways?”

“Eh, I hadn’t really thought much about it,” Raymond said, buying himself time to think, “We’ll probably just play video games and talk. Maybe go out for dinner.”

“You’ll have to tell me about it tomorrow night around the campfire.” Jameson replied as he retreated back to his office.

“Yeah Dad. I will.”

At least that would give him all of Friday and most of Saturday to make up a convincing story. Ray was really looking forward to being done with all the secrecy. His parents had always valued honesty, and all the lies he had been telling them had been weighing heavily on him.

After breakfast he packed his school bag, and soon he and Evalyn were heading out to her car, Raymond carrying Rayne’s duffel bag in addition to his own backpack. He tossed it in the back seat, and soon they were on their way.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The phone rang.

As one, the class looked up from their textbooks to see what the distraction was.

“Back to work.” Mr. Kwon called out immediately. They were in history class, in the middle of some free study time. They were ahead of the class schedule, so Mr. Kwon had allowed them to work on any homework they had. It could be from any of their classes, as long as they were actually doing homework. He promised them that the first student he caught goofing off would buy the whole class a pop quiz.

It was the last period of the school day. Class had only just started, but Raymond had a feeling he knew who was calling.

Mr. Kwon spoke quietly into the phone, “Yes. Yes. I understand. I’ll send him immediately.”

Placing the phone back onto the receiver, he turned to face the class.

“Raymond.” He announced quietly. “You’ve been excused from class early. You know where to go?”

Once again, as if they were of one mind, the whole class swiveled to look at him.

With so many eyes suddenly trained on him, it was all Ray could do to give a jerky nod.

“Back to work!” Mr. Kwon snarled at the rest of the class. “Unless you WANT a pop quiz.”

The eyes quickly receded, and with a nod from Mr. Kwon, Ray stood and left with his bag in hand.

A few minutes later he met his sister in front of the art room. She had already gone in and grabbed the duffel bag from behind Ms. Mira’s desk. That was good. Ray didn’t have to worry about attracting attention by interrupting the class currently happening behind the door.

“C’mon!” Evalyn said cheerfully as she took his hand and led him to the change rooms.

After making sure no one was watching, Evalyn and Raymond quickly slipped through the door to the girls change room.

Ray was surprised to see student belongings lying around the usually tidy room.

“Uhhhh, Eva?” he asked, suddenly nervous. Clearly there was a class occurring at the moment. A student could potentially walk in any second to find Raymond, a boy, standing in the girls locker room.

“Don’t freak out Rayne.” Evalyn immediately replied, hoping to spark his confidence with the name, “We’ll be in and out in a flash.”

She had some success as Raymond swallowed nervously before beginning to move.

Raymond stepped into one of the stalls and stripped off his male clothes. He took the plane white lingerie in his hands and slowly slipped it on. Next, she took the white dress her sister had bought her almost two weeks ago, and slipped it on for the first time since the changing room that day. She took the black silk belt and tied it around her waist, making a small bow behind her. Taking a deep breath, Rayne stepped out of the stall to rejoin her sister.

“What do you think?” she asked shyly.

“Damn girl.” Came her sister’s reply. “You have good taste. The first outfit you ever picked out, and you look great.”

Rayne could only blush as her sister sat her down on the bench and began to do her makeup.

For the few minutes it took, Rayne sat as still as she could, and just followed any instructions Evalyn gave her.

Soon her makeup was done. Rayne reached into the bag to grab her boots, but gasped when her hand pulled out something entirely different.

She looked at Evalyn accusingly.

“Come on lil’ sis.” She said flatly, “Those boots may go well with that big sweater you like, but it’d be blasphemous to try and wear them with that dress.”

Rayne looked down at the pair of high heeled sandals in her hands.

“But I don’t know how to walk in high heels.” She said, barely above a whisper, confidence seeping away.

“Don’t worry!” Evalyn said lightly, “I’d hardly call these high heels, they’re only one-and-a-half inches. More like low heels!”

Rayne giggled at that. Evalyn did have a point. They weren’t all that high, and they were block heels. Even someone as inexperienced as Rayne should be more than capable of walking in them. It also helped that they were really cute and would go well with the dress.

She slipped on the sandals and slowly stood. Evalyn was right. The slant to them was barely noticeable. She spent a few minutes walking around the change room, growing some confidence.

She could do this.

“Alright.” Evalyn began as they quickly packed everything up. “I think we’re good to go. You ready?”

Rayne nodded confidently. “Yup! Let’s do this!”

Together, the two of them exited the art room and headed for Ms. Reid’s office.

They were only 10 feet away from the door when a voice boomed out behind them.

“EXCUSE ME.”

They turned to look at the source of the voice. Rayne suddenly trembling with fear, trying to hide behind her sister.

“What are you doing out of class Ms. Danahy?” Came the stern voice of Mr. Rohmberg, the vice principal of the school, “I’d expect this from another student, but not you.”

Clearly, he hadn’t received the memo excusing them from class early.

He finally seemed to take note of the girl cowering behind Evalyn.

“And who might this be?” he asked intimidatingly, “I don’t recognize her as a student of our school.”

Rayne’s mind began going haywire. What were they going to do? He knew. He had seen them. Rayne’s secret would be out to the whole school.

Thankfully, Evalyn was not the panicky type. She didn’t break a sweat, and replied to the man in a calm level voice.

“I assure you Mr. Rohmberg, my absence from class has already been excused. My friend here, Rayne, is interested in attending out school next semester. We were going to talk to Ms. Reid to see if it would be the right fit for her. We have an appointment and everything.”

“Really now?” Mr. Rohmberg asked skeptically. “If she’s interested in coming here for schooling, then why would she be going to see Ms. Reid and not Mrs. Clarke or I? I’m sure we could answer any questions she might have better than the counsellor. And why go with you? As oppose to her parents?”

“Well,” Evalyn began, maintaining the same level voice, “That’s because,” she looked around as if checking that no one was in earshot. She took Rayne by the hand and led her closer to the vice principal. “That’s because Rayne has some deep anxiety issues.” She explained quietly, “Being comfortable with the counsellor is one of the most important parts of the school for her. It just made sense to have someone who she already trusted who was familiar with the school and counselor introduce them.”

To Rayne’s credit, she just stared at the floor, trembling slightly. It certainly added to the story Evalyn was fabricating.

“In that case,” Mr. Rohmberg began again, voice still leaking suspicion, “I could walk into Ms. Reid’s office right now, and she would vouch for you?” The man gave a small smirk, believing he had the girls cornered.

“Be my guest.” Evalyn said confidently, waving a hand in the direction of the counsellor’s door.

This left the vice principal blinking in surprise. He had been expecting her to fold and admit to skipping class. Not to welcome his inquiry. Sure that she was still bluffing, he approached the door, the girls following behind.

He looked back at them, “Last chance to come clean.” He declared as he rose his hand to knock.

“Last chance to apologize and not look like a fool.” Evalyn countered, growing annoyed by the mans accusations and suspicions. Even if she had lied about their reason for being excused from class, they HAD been excused from class. And honestly, the story she fed him wasn’t far from the truth anyways.

Her remark caused the man’s face to turn sour. He rapped on the door harshly, and was soon greeted by Ms. Reid’s voice.

“Come in.”

He opened the door and looked into the office.

“Oh.” Ms. Reid said, eyebrows coming together in confusion, “Mr. Rohmberg. I wasn’t expecting you.”

Her eyes settled on the two girls peeking out from behind the man. “Ahhh, Evalyn, Rayne, there you are. I was beginning to think you were skipping out on our appointment.”

“N-no.” Rayne meekly replied.

“Of course, not.” Evalyn said more confidently, giving Mr. Rohmberg a meaningful look, “We just got held up unexpectedly.”

“Oh. I see.” Ms. Reid replied, not quite understanding, “Is there anything you needed Mr. Rohmberg?”

The man looked around awkwardly. Suddenly embarrassed. “No Ms. Reid.”

He turned to look at the girls. “I’m very sorry for hassling you. I honestly thought you were up to something. I wish you the best of luck in finding what you’re looking for Rayne, and I hope to see you next semester.”

“I-it’s okay.” Rayne said quietly, starting to get over the unexpected encounter.

“Come on Mr. Rohmberg!” Evalyn appealed, suddenly light hearted again, “I’m a top student, have a little faith in me next time.”

“I’ll try to remember that in the future Evalyn.” He said warmly before turning to leave, closing the door behind him.

The two girls sat down their bags and took a seat in the prepared chairs. Ms. Reid silently watching Rayne as she did so. Once the whole group was steeled in, Ms. Reid spoke.

“So, what’s this about next semester?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Evalyn told the story of the whole encounter between them and Mr. Rohmberg. At the end, both of Ms. Reid’s eyebrows were at their peaks.

“You lied to the vice principal?” she asked, clearly disproving.

“Well what else was I suppose to do?” Evalyn countered, “Out my little sister to him?”

“If you had explained everything to him, I’m sure he would have been very understanding.” Ms. Reid said, still disagreeing with Evalyn, “I know for a fact that Mr. Rohmberg is a very kind man, who cares deeply about his student.”

Rayne was shaking her head rapidly, eyebrows raised in concern. “I’m having enough issues just coming out to my family. You expect me to just spill my soul to a man I barely know?”

Ms. Reid pursed her lips. She had to concede that point.

“Let’s move on to the real topic of our meeting.” She decided, looking at the clock. “We only have half an hour to make a plan.”

“So, uh, how do you suggest we approach it?” Rayne asked timidly.

“Together.” Ms. Reid replied immediately, “Does your family have regular family dinners together?”

Evalyn nodded, “Yup! Most dinners are spent as a family. Every few weeks we try and have a bigger dinner with all of the extended family on our father’s side.”

“Good.” Ms. Reid nodded, “That would be a great time I think. Your whole family will be relaxed, and Rayne will have Evalyn there to support her.”

The girls nodded.

“But um,” Rayne began, clearly still unsure, “HOW do I tell them? Do I just walk into dinner as Rayne? Or should Raymond be the one to tell them?”

“Ahhh,” Ms. Reid, said lifting her head as she saw the girl’s dilemma, “It’s really up to you. Doing it as Rayne would surely cause quite a shock, but at the same time it’s more likely to get their attention and will hopefully get them take you seriously. Whereas telling them as Raymond would likely be easier on them.”

Raymond nodded, although he wasn’t reassured. That didn’t really answer his question.

Sensing his unease, Ms. Reid continued, “When you come to your parents with a serious issue, the most serious issue you can ever remember bringing to them, how do they react?”

Evalyn took this one. “They usually stay very calm, and then they’ll go over the issue with us. Help us weigh pros and cons and come to a decision. Unless it’s something that’s their decision, in which case they set the issue aside for later and have private discussion before coming to a decision together.”

Ms. Reid nodded approvingly, “That’s excellent. In that case, I believe it would be better for Raymond to bring it up to them. Then, they can either be introduced to Rayne after dinner, or another day when they feel more comfortable.”

Ray released a heavy sigh. Okay. They had the start of a plan.

For the next 20 minutes, the group discussed various other details of the upcoming conversation.

What would Ray do if he choked or lost his nerve? Would Evalyn jump in? Would she speak for him? Or just encourage him? What would they do if they’re parents reacted positively? Negatively? What about Sebastian?

When the bell rang, signalling the end of the school day, they had their plan solidified. Sunday night, once everyone was home from their respective plans, Raymond and Evalyn would tell the family everything over dinner. Based on their reactions, they had a variety of contingency plans ready.

Ms. Reid looked at Rayne meaningfully, “So Rayne, I would still like to see you on Monday. Then you can tell me how it went, and we can figure out a time for me to meet with your parents and get you in to meet my colleague in Vancouver. Does that sound okay to you?”

“Yes Ms. Reid.” Rayne said with a confident nod. For the first time ever, the idea of telling her family didn’t have her panicking.

Rayne and Evalyn gathered up their bags and, after a quick goodbye, left Ms. Reid’s office.

“How about we head back over to the art room?” Evalyn suggested, “We can meet up with Ms. Mira there today.”

“O-okay. Sure.” Rayne agreed, although she wasn’t really paying attention. She was looking down the hall, now crowded with students, all eagerly rushing to head home for the weekend.

Rayne would have to walk right by them all.

Evalyn, sensing her unease, took her hand, and gave it a quick squeeze of reassurance.

“It’ll be alright Rayne.” She whispered confidently. “They’re all too busy to notice you, and even if they do, all they’ll see is a beautiful young girl.”

Rayne nodded hesitantly, took a dep breath, and with her heart hammering in her chest, the two of them started down the hall.

It quickly became clear that Evalyn had been downplaying the situation to make Rayne feel better. Many of the students noticed the pair immediately. Several called out greetings to Evalyn, wishing her a fun weekend, or just saying hello.

Thankfully, Evalyn had been right about one thing. No one recognized Rayne. Several looked at her strangely, clearly wondering who she was, but no one stared screaming about a boy in a dress. As they passed the first few students she heard whispers behind them.

“Who was that with Evalyn? I’m sure I haven’t seen her around before.” One girl said.

“Yeah. I think I’d remember her if I had.” The guy she was standing with echoed.

Rayne blushed furiously and picked up her pace. As she continued down the hall, she heard several other students echo those sentiments, with slight variations.

Rayne exhaled heavily when they finally arrived at their destination.

“What did I tell ya?” Evalyn exclaimed, “No one recognized you.”

Rayne looked at her. “You ALSO said no one would notice me.”

“Pfft. Details.” Evalyn said, shrugging off the comment.

Rayne laughed lightly and shook her head.

“Good afternoon Rayne, Evalyn!” Ms. Mira called as her last class of day streamed out of the art room. Several of the students looked at the two girls curiously but just continued on their way.

“Good afternoon Ms. Mira!” Evalyn echoed, Rayne just smiled.

“You certainly look ready for tonight. I love that dress.” Ms. Mira exclaimed after taking a better look at Rayne.

Blushing, Rayne thanked her for the compliment.

“Do you need help with anything Ms. Mira?” Rayne continued, “Or are you about ready to go?”

“I just need to lock up and swing by the teachers lounge. Then we can be on our way. As usual, the others will meet us there.”

Rayne nodded and turned back to Evalyn.

“Okay little sis.” Evalyn began quietly after making sure no one was close enough to hear, “Remember, tonight Ms. Mira will drop you off at home, no one else will be there so you can just go in without worry. You have your house keys?”

Rayne nodded.

“Good. I’ll most likely still be at the movies, but I’ll be home before long. Then we can spend the rest of the evening as a girls’ night.”

Rayne giggled. That would be something to look forward to.

Evalyn pulled Rayne into a tight hug and whispered into her ear, “Good luck Rayne.”

“Thanks Eva.” Rayne whispered back, wanting to say more, but having her words fail her.

After they split apart, Evalyn turned and left, heading to meet whichever friend or friends she was joining for dinner.

Evalyn reached her locker, and deftly entered the combination. She stowed some books, and withdrew the ones she wanted to study this weekend. She had a few minutes before she was supposed to meet her friend.

She closed her locker and turned to leave, just to walk straight into Sebastian. His friend Jackson standing just behind him.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, startled by her older brother’s sudden appearance. “Hey Seb, hey Jackson, didn’t see ya there.”

“Evalyn.” Her brother began, “We need to talk.”

Evalyn froze briefly, but quickly regained control.

“’bout what bro?” she said, feigning ignorance.

Her brother grimaced.

“Who’s this ‘Rayne’ girl you’ve been going around with? And why have you been lying to people and telling them she’s our cousin?”

Evalyn sighed in relief. Good. This meant that they didn’t know who Rayne really was.

“Fine. You caught me.” Evalyn began, letting them believe that her sigh of relief was an admission of guilt.

“The reason I’ve been lying is because I need to hide the true nature of our relationship. For at least a bit longer. For that same reason, I can’t tell you who she really is.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows knit themselves together in confusion. He looked around quickly to see who was around, before moving a bit closer.

“Eva,” he whispered, voice strained with awkwardness, “If you’re a lesbian, that’s okay. You know our family won’t be bothered by it – Uncle Noah’s gay, right? – and besides, I’ll deal with anyone who is.”

Evalyn had to smile.

“Oh Seb,” she said, pulling him into a hug, “You’re so sweet. Never change.”

Sebastian awkwardly returned her hug. Completely lost.

When they broke apart, Evalyn looked into his eyes, “Okay big bro. I just need you to keep this to yourself for a few more days.”

“A few more days?” he asked hesitantly, “I’ll keep it a secret for as long as I have to Eva, I just wanted you to know I’m on your side. I’ll always back you up.”

“I Know. But I was planning on explaining everything to the family at Sunday dinner anyways.”

“O-oh. Okay.” Sebastian agreed, “Well, I’ll be there to support you no matter what.”

“You’re the best Seb. Anyways, I’ve gotta get going, I need to meet some friends. Have fun camping and I’ll see you tomorrow or Sunday. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Sebastian agreed, “See ya Eva.

As Evalyn took off to meet her friends, Sebastian turned to Jackson.

“You didn’t hear any of that. Okay?” he said, giving his friend a meaningful look.

Jackson held his hands up defensively. “Relax man, I’m not the kinda guy who would go spreading rumors about people. Even if I was, it would be social suicide to do so about Evalyn. Everyone loves her. On top of that it would probably be real suicide too, considering who her big brother is. I’m just disappointed that that Rayne girl isn’t into guys. You haven’t seen her yet, but damn, she is cute. Your sister really knows how to pick ‘em.”

The two friends laughed and went their separate ways to enjoy the weekend.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Ms. Mira’s car pulled into the art gallery’s parking lot.

Rayne looked at her in confusion. “Not the convention center?”

“No.” Ms. Mira answered with a smile. “The number of participants has gotten low enough that we don’t need the extra space to hold everyone. This is just a preview of what the real thing will be like for those who make it to the actual event.”

“I-I see.” Rayne replied.

She swallowed nervously. She was suddenly feeling the pressure.

As she parked, Ms. Mira looked over at the young girl.

“Relax and take a deep breath Rayne. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to do great.”

Rayne took a dep breath, like she was told, and let it out slowly.

Ms. Mira was right. She could do this.

Together they climbed from the vehicle and headed towards the entrance. There they saw three familiar faces waiting for them.

Ryan and Cynthia were engaged in conversation with Bernardo. Another teenager – Rayne assumed her to be another contestant – was also participating.

“Ah,” Berny began as he saw them approaching, “Good evening Rayne, Good evening,” he paused, searching his memory for the art teachers name, “Forgive me, Ms. Mira was it?”

“Nothing to apologize for Mr. Gyerdavard. Good evening to you as well.” Ms. Mira greeted warmly, pronouncing the old man’s name flawlessly, “And just Mira is fine.”

“Hi Berny!” Rayne greeted the man excitedly, “How are you?!”

The old man chuckled, “I’m doing very well Rayne. Thank you for asking. And how are you this evening?”

“Nervous as usual.” Rayne mumbled with a light blush.

Berny, Ms. Mira, Cynthia, and Ryan all chuckled, the other girl rolled her eyes.

“Well,” Berny began, “If you just carry yourself the same way as you did the last two weeks, then I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“I’ll do my best!” Rayne assured him.

“I’m sure you will.” The man said, smiling warmly.

“Um, do you, uh, happen to know who the judges will be tonight?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

Berny nodded slowly. “I do. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was just wondering if there would be more new judges, or some of the same as before. So I can prepare myself.”

Berny nodded again. “I see. Well, it will be a bit of both. Tonights judging will be a bit less formal than the last two showings, the judges will be approaching the displays individually and at their leisure all evening. You will most likely be visited by every judge you have seen thus far, as well as one or two you haven’t met yet. Does that answer your question?”

Rayne frowned. “Oh. U-um, yes. It does. Thanks.”

The old man raised an eyebrow. “Is something troubling you Rayne?”

“Oh! Umm no.” Rayne said, shaking her head.

Berny stared at her intently. Silently pressuring an answer out of her.

Rayne shifted nervously before finally continuing. “Okay, yes. Something’s bothering me a bit. But it’s not a big deal, really.”

Berny continued to stare.

Rayne sighed heavily. “It’s just that one judge from last week. Dr. Malone.”

Rayne looked at her feet before continuing in a whisper. “I was hoping to not have to see him again. He was kinda scary.”

Berny nodded in understanding. “Dr. Malone can be… intense when it comes to art. He takes it very seriously, and has never been very good with kids.”

Rayne nodded, not looking up from her feet, embarrassed by her fear.

“Rayne,” Berny began, “Tell me, what did you think of the other judges you met so far?”

Rayne looked up, eyebrows scrunching together.

“Well,” she began, “From the first showing, Mr. Smith and Mrs. Tanner were nice and professional.”

“And the second showing?”

Rayne frowned again, “Like I said, Dr. Malone was scary and kinda mean. But Ms. Ferguson was really nice.”

Berny nodded again, “So, how would you feel if I told you that Ms. Ferguson was adamant that you be eliminated last round, and a big factor in why you’re here today was that Dr. Malone fought very hard for you?”

Rayne was speechless. Her jaw dropped and her eyebrows blasted off into space.

Berny chuckled. “Ms. Ferguson thought you were too insecure. She didn’t think you to be capable or mature enough to present your work at the gallery. Dr. Malone thought that was ridiculous. He said that he believed you to have a better understanding of art than most of the student’s there.”

Berny chuckled again. “He actually even went so far as to claim you had a better understanding of art than some of the judges while staring quite intently at Ms. Ferguson.”

The whole group had a chuckle at that. “At that point, the judging panel as a whole was largely undecided about you. Dr. Malone’s final argument that tipped the scale was that we weren’t there to judge your presentation skills or how good of a public speaker you are, but to judge your skill as an artist, and your understanding of art. Both of which, the rest of the judges ultimately agreed on, are years ahead of others your age.”

Rayne nodded slowly, still stunned by this revelation.

“Now, if you’re felling a bit better, I must be on my way.”

He nodded to each of them in turn.

“Rayne, Ryan, Jane. Best of luck tonight.”

Rayne, Ryan, and the girl whose name had previously been unknown thanked him as he took his leave.

Rayne turned to her and held out her hand in greeting, “Hi. Uh, I’m Rayne if you didn’t pick that up already. You’re Jane, right?”

The girl raised an eyebrow and just looked at her outstretched hand. She gave a huff, rolled her eyes, and turned to leave.

Rayne lowered her hand slowly and turned to her friends, “Did I say something to offend her?”

Ryan and Cynthia were frowning.

“I don’t know.” Ryan began slowly, “She was fine until you and Ms. Mira got here.”

“Oh.” Rayne looked distraught. What had she said? What reason could the other girl have to be so abrasive?

Sensing that Rayne was troubled, Cynthia threw her arm around the younger girl’s shoulders.

“Don’t let it bug ya!” She said happily, “Not everyone can manage to be as sweet as you. She was probs jealous.”

Rayne blushed brightly.

“Umm, w- why are you here Cynthia?” she asked nervously, anxious to change the subject.

“Why am I here?!” She exclaimed, “Whadda ya mean why am I here?!”

Blushing again, Rayne stammered out a reply.

“W- well, you were eliminated. R- right?”

Cynthia rolled her eyes.

“Psh. Like that matters.” She said dramatically, “If you think I wouldn’t be here to cheer on you and Ryan than you’re crazy!”

Rayne giggled at the girl’s antics.

“Why don’t we go get signed in and set up?” Ms. Mira asked, joining the conversation.

Ryan nodded, “Might be a good idea.”

The party of four stepped through the main entrance and into the gallery. At the reception desk, there was a short line of students accompanied by their teachers, all getting ready to check in for the evening. Ms. Mira led her charges over to the line, and pulled from her purse any necessary pieces of documentation. Her three students stood quietly beside her, each of them looking around the art gallery. Examining its architecture, décor, furniture, and really anything their eyes happened to fall upon. For all three of them, it was their first time being in such a place.

Soon they reached the front of the line, and after a brief interaction, Ms. Mira had them checked in. A few more words were exchanged, and Ms. Mira had the area assigned to them recorded in her phone.

Turning to her students, Ms. Mira asked them, “You kids done gawking? Or do you need another minute.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. Cynthia giggled. Rayne gave a characteristic blush.

Ms. Mira chuckled and led them into the art gallery proper. There, the 25 students who had made it this stage were rushing around with their individual teachers. Setting up displays, practicing presentations, discussing potential questions and how they would answer them.

Rayne swallowed nervously. This looked intense.

Ryan quickly took it all in, then turned and led them towards the area they had been assigned.

When they arrived, it immediately became clear that things were not quite as they expected. The area Ryan had led them to only had room for one display. On one side, another student was already set up, and on the other side, the room ended with a wall.

Ms. Mira looked at her phone. Then at a floor plan in her hands.

“Ah shi-“ Ms. Mira stopped what she was going to say, remembering she was in the presence of students, and instead lamely finished, “Darn.”

“W- what’s wrong Ms. Mira?” Rayne asked nervously, not liking her teacher’s reaction.

Ms. Mira frowned as she explained, “I requested that you and Ryan be given areas adjacent to each other so that our group could stay together. Clearly, I wasn’t clear enough because they gave Ryan section 12, and they gave you section 13.”

“Okaaaaay.” Cynthia replied, not understanding where this was going.

Ms. Mira sighed. “This hall of the art gallery ends with section 12, and the next begins with section 13. So, while it sounds like 12 and 13 are close together, they’re really not.”

“O- oh.” Rayne managed to reply. She had been grown accustomed to having her friends and instructor right next to her.

“Will you be okay by yourself Rayne?” Ms. Mira asked, clearly concerned about the younger student. “Obviously, I won’t leave you alone any more then I have to, but I can’t exactly just abandon Ryan either.”

Rayne was silent for a moment, and then slowly nodded.

“I wont always have you guys around to look after me, right?” she began hesitantly, “I need to learn how to take care of myself. So, yeah. I’ll be fine for a bit.”

“And don’t forget!” Cynthia piped up, “I’m here too! Between the two of us, we should be able to keep you both company most of the time.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “God forbid Cynthia wasn’t here.” He teased sarcastically, “Whatever would we do?”

“Hey!” Cynthia punched his shoulder softly as Rayne giggled at the banter.

“Will you be okay to set up by yourself Ryan?” Ms. Mira said, interrupting the teasing, “I’d like to go get Rayne settled.”

“Yeah, for sure Ms. Mira.” Ryan agreed confidently, “You and Cynthia go get the little one all ready. You know how shy she gets around the big kids.”

Clearly, it was now Rayne’s turn to be the brunt of some teasing.

“Hey!” She objected, “That’s not funny!”

The giggles from Ms. Mira and Cynthia seemed to disagree with her.

Rayne puffed up her cheeks and crossed her arms indignantly.

Her new stance had the opposite effect as intended, and the other girls only laughed harder, now joined by Ryan.

Rayne rolled her eyes and stopped trying to restrain her own smile.

After the group had regained control of themselves, Rayne departed alongside Ms. Mira and Cynthia to find and setup her display.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne stood by her display. Nervously watching the girl across from her, the girl in question glaring venomously back at her in turn.

It was just her luck that she’d be opposite Jane. She didn’t know what she had done to upset the girl, but she had clearly done something. It was all she could do to try not to let it bother her. She didn’t even have anyone to talk to to distract her from the girl. Cynthia and Ms. Mira had gone back to check on Ryan.

Thankfully, escape came in the form of an announcement over the intercom.

“We would now like to request all of the entrants to join our judges at the podium across from the entrance and next to zone 1.”

Rayne wasted no time, quickly walking in the direction she had been pointed. Doing her best to ignore the eyes drilling holes into her back. Finding a place in the small crowd, she was soon joined by Ryan.

“What do you think this is about?” She whispered to him, hoping the older boy would have a better understanding.

He just shrugged.

She didn’t have to wait for long however, as Berny stepped up onto the small stage, joined by six others. Rayne recognized four of them as the judges from the past two weeks, Mrs. Tanner, Mr. Smith, Jackie Ferguson, and Dr. Malone. The other two were complete mysteries.

“Good evening.” Berny began, “First, I must say – and I’m sure all of my fellow judges will agree – that no matter what happens tonight, you have all done incredibly well, and should be very proud of yourselves to have made it this far. Please, a round of applause for our very talented student artists.”

Around the room that various teachers in attendance, as well as the art gallery faculty, joined the judges in bringing their hands together.

“Now,” Berny began again once the noise had faded, “Tonight is the last showing. We have narrowed down a group of a few hundred, to the 25 students we believe to be the most talented. Unfortunately, it is still not enough. As much as I would like to feature each and every one of you next week, the event administrators have made it very clear that they are only awarding 10 spots. So, this harsh task falls to us, your judges. Tonight, we will each be wandering the room at our own leisure. Mingling with the students and teachers present, taking a closer look at your work, and probably asking more questions.”

His gaze slowly swept across the assembled students.

“Please. Do your best to impress us. This is your last chance to do so.”

He smiled softly. “No pressure though.”

A nervous chuckle ran through the crowd.

“We will begin in 20 minutes, at 6 o’clock sharp. We will spend – a much too short – two hours amongst you. Then, we will retreat to the back room of the gallery for an hour of what is sure to be intense deliberation and arguing, before immediately announcing the results at 9, or shortly after.”

A wave of excitement surged through those listening. They had expected to have to wait a few days for the results, like the last two showings.

Berny chuckled, clearly amused by their reactions.

“Yes, that’s right. The results will be announced tonight as opposed to the middle of the week. As we know many of you have your hands full with your studies, we decided it would be best to give our finalists some extra time to make any preparations for the actual event in two weeks. The young ladies might want a chance to get a nice new dress, the young men the chance to get a new outfit of their own. On the topic of clothing, there will be a dress code, but I’ll get to that in a moment.”

He took a deep breath before continuing.

“Now, I’m going to go over a quick briefing of the final event, as I’m sure no one will want to stick around for it later. The event will be right here, on the 11th and 12th of October. Yes, you heard me correct, it is a two-day event. Saturday the 11th will be open to the general public, and will run from noon, until 7:00 pm. Sunday will be the private showing. The only attendants will be those individuals who received an invitation from the gallery itself, as well as your families. The Sunday showing will run from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm, followed by a dinner, and, for those who are interested in selling their work, an art auction. You are expected to dress business casual for the showings, and perhaps something a bit fancier for the dinner and auction – should you choose to attend. However, bear in mind that while I have said business casual, you are artists. The term ‘business casual’ has many interpretations in our field, and I encourage you to be creative. Finally, the second reason we are giving you two weeks instead of the customary one. If you recall, when you entered this competition, you were asked to submit a five piece portfolio to be considered. That’s what you have had displayed for the past two weeks and tonight. As you may have noticed, all 25 of you, with your displays, fit in here quite nicely. Why then, you may ask, can only ten people make it to final event?”

The thought certainly had crossed Rayne’s mind. A quick glance around told her she wasn’t the only one.

“That’s because,” Berny continued, “in the final event, more will be on display then just your portfolio. Your portfolio will just be the center piece, but we would like you to share more of your work with us. We don’t expect everything you bring to be at the same level as your first five pieces, these other pieces are your chance to show off. Anything your proud of. Anything you like. Think hard, and choose the pieces that represent you best. Of course, for now you should focus on tonight. I know that was a lot to take in at once, so all of this information will be sent to your individual instructors.”

His gaze swept across them again.

“I feel blessed to have been able to witness your talent, and the products of it. I wish you all the best of luck.”

With that, the judges stepped down from the stage and returned to the backroom.

Ryan turned to look at her, eyes wide with uncharacteristic excitement.

“We’ll have the results TONIGHT!” he exclaimed.

Rayne giggled at his reaction as Ms. Mira and Cynthia joined them once again.

“You guys ready?!” Cynthia asked excitedly.

“You know it!” Ryan declared, uncharacteristically pumped up.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Rayne said quietly, nervously biting her lip.

“You’ll do fine.” Ms. Mira reassured her, “Shall we head back to your displays?”

“Yeah, I just wish I could be as confident as Ryan.” Rayne explained as she turned towards her place.

Ms. Mira joined her as Cynthia headed off with Ryan, promising to come check in on her soon.

“I’ll text you too!” Ryan said as they parted, “That way we can be there for reach other even from opposite sides of the room!”

Rayne giggled at his excitement. “Sounds good Ryan!”

After they arrived back at her display, Rayne pulled out her phone.

“Aw man.” She said, frowning at the dark screen.

Ms. Mira looked at her questioningly.

“My phone’s dead.” She explained, “So much for texting.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne took a deep breath. The two hours of individual judging had begun. Her mind was racing.

Two hours. That didn’t seem like long. Only 120 minutes. Assuming each judge visited each student and spent an equal amount of time with each of them that meant they got roughly five minutes per student, not accounting for walking time. Seven judges, five minutes with each judge, she only needed to spend 35 minutes with them. 35 minutes wasn’t to long. Of course, that was assuming a lot. Who was to say the judges wouldn’t spend longer or shorter with some contestants. Maybe they’d spend longer if they were particularly interested in a student’s work. They’d be asking questions too of course. What kind of questions? Surely, they’d be different from the last two weeks. What if they asked about her? What would she tell them? She had basically only been alive for two weeks. Rayne glanced at her watch. Only a minute had passed. Oh god. Two hours? Suddenly that seemed like an eternity. How was she going to make it that long? Even if she only spent a few minutes with each judge, there could be an eternity of waiting between each of them. 35 minutes in front of the judges meant 85 minutes just standing there. Oh God. What if she choked? What if she embarrassed herself? What if she-

“Rayne.” Cynthia’s voice pulled her from the turmoil of her thoughts, “Calm down.”

Rayne swallowed nervously.

“Calm down?” She asked anxiously, “What makes you think I’m not calm?”

“You’re pacing.” Cynthia said flatly. “Calm people don’t pace.”

Rayne stopped moving. She looked down. She hadn’t even realized she was doing it, but Cynthia was right. She had been walking back and forth in front of her display.

Blushing, she shyly returned to where she had been standing in front of her display.

“Take a deep breath.” Cynthia advised her.

Rayne closed her eyes and took a long, slow, deep breath. Then let it out just as slowly.

“Now another.”

Rayne did as she was told. Her heart and mind slowly calming.

“Now get ready.”

“Huh?” She asked, opening her eyes to look at Cynthia, confused by the sudden change.

Cynthia nodded down the room.

Rayne followed her gesture to the sight of one of the judges, headed straight towards her.

Rayne swallowed nervously and took another deep breath. This was it. Moment of truth.

She was an older grey-haired woman. She wasn’t one of the judges Rayne had encountered in the previous showings, but Rayne knew she was a judge. She recognized her from Berny’s announcement.

“Good evening.” Rayne greeted her. Quite pleased - even proud – that, while her greeting had been quiet, it was free of squeaks and stutters.

“Hello.” The woman greeted in return, “My name is Mrs. Wilkins, and I believe you are Rayne Danahy, yes?”

“Um, yes, that’s correct.” She replied, silently cursing herself for preceding her answer with an ‘um’.

Mrs. Wilkins nodded and offered a handshake. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

Rayne accepted her handshake. “You as well, but, um, what do you mean by ‘finally’?”

Mrs. Wilkins nodded at the girl’s question. “I have heard quite a bit about you from the other judges.”

“You have?” Rayne asked, remembering what Berny had said earlier.

“Oh yes.” She replied, “Dr. Malone in particular was rather outspoken about your work and how you deserved to be here tonight. I felt the need to meet you and see your work for myself.”

“I- I see.” Rayne replied, suddenly intimidated, “I, uh, I hope I can live up to your expectations.”

“Well to be honest – and I mean no offense – I never expect much from high school children.” The woman replied bluntly, “Especially not from ones as young as yourself. So, you don’t have very much to live up to.”

Rayne blushed, completely at a loss for words. What could she say in reply to that?

Mrs. Wilkins began to carefully inspect Rayne’s work. Going from piece to piece, bringing her face close to the canvas. Seemingly inspecting every brush stroke on the paintings, and every line on the drawings.

“Uh, um, c- could I uh, explain a- anything? O- or answer any questions?” Rayne asked. Damn. Stutter was back.

The woman frowned, but said nothing.

“I-is everything okay?” Rayne asked nervously.

After a long moment, Mrs. Wilkins turned to look at the girl.

“I’m going to be honest with you Rayne, Ms. Ferguson expressed concern that you were too insecure for this event. She claimed that you were so nervous it was near impossible to understand what you were saying, and that you would be unable to succeed if you were made to talk in front of a large group of influential adults.”

Rayne’s lip trembled. She felt tears pooling in her eyes. So Berny hadn’t been joking around earlier. Jackie had seemed so nice and supportive at last weeks showing.

“I don’t need you to explain anything. I received written copies of your comments from the past two weeks. Thank you for your work and your time.”

And with that, Mrs. Wilkins turned to leave.

Cynthia took a step forward, no doubt about to chew out the judge, but Rayne held out her hand.

She swallowed back her tears. She could see Jane sniggering at her from across the hall. She couldn’t just let it end like this.

“W-Wait!”

Mrs. Wilkins stopped and slowly turned, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Yes?”

Rayne took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“That isn’t fair.” She spoke slowly, making an effort to keep her voice clear.

Mrs. Wilkins just continued to watch her.

“I’ll be the first to admit,” Rayne continued, “That I’m not the most confident, and I’m not the best speaker. I- I am shy, a- and soft spoken. And yes, I have some insecurities. I wish I had confidence like my friends do. B- but that’s besides the point. This event was meant to assess our skills and knowledge as artists, right? So, unless I’ve unknowingly entered a personality or popularity contest, if you plan on judging me based on my confidence levels, then I don’t want to win.”

A long moment passed, Rayne refusing to be the first to break eye contact.

Finally, just as Rayne’s lip was beginning to tremble again, Mrs. Wilkins nodded, and with the smallest of smiles gracing her lips, turned and left.

Rayne heaved out a huge sigh, only now realizing she had been holding her breath.

Cynthia pulled her into a big hug, “Rayne that was awesome! Way to tell her!”

Rayne laughed freely, letting the stress melt away. “Well if I didn’t then you clearly would have.”

Cynthia joined her in laughing.

One they had calmed down, Cynthia announced that she was going to check in on Ryan.

As she left, she called back over her shoulder, “Either me or Ms. Mira will be back shortly.”

Rayne just nodded and went back to where she had been standing. One judge down, six more to go.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath.

“What’s your problem?”

Rayne sighed heavily. Opening her eyes, she saw Jane, arms crossed and glaring at her from a few feet away.

“What’s yours?” Rayne shot back, feeling too good to just fall back and timidly accept the girls disdain at the moment.

“I’ve literally been nothing but nice to you.” she continued, determined to get to the bottom of the conflict, “I’ve been wracking my brain all night, trying to figure out what I could have done, and nothing comes to mind. And yet, all night you’ve been looking at me like I killed your dog or something. What’s your problem with me?”

The older girls jaw dropped. She hadn’t been expecting to be called out so abruptly.

“I hate pretentious people.” The girl claimed, “And fake people. And you’re, like, the definition of both of those.”

Rayne squinted in confusion and raised her hands helplessly.

“Whaa?” she replied, exasperated, “How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jane declared, “I’ve seen enough of you to know. You put on this fake, innocent, shy girl persona to try and win people over, and you act like there’s some great hidden meaning in your work to try and make your mediocre paintings look better. But I see through it.”

Rayne chuckled and shook her head. “Whatever. I don’t need to explain myself to you, and I’m not going to let you get to me. Not tonight.”

She pushed off from the wall to stand up straight, and turned to look around the room.

Jane sniffed haughtily and returned to her display.

Rayne took another deep breath. Standing up for herself twice in one night? Not bad.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The night proceeded much in the same way. Short periods of interaction with the judges separated by long periods of standing around and waiting. A lot of the other students at least had their phones to play on while they waited, but with hers dead, it was all Rayne could do to stand there and try to look as professional as possible. She passed the time by thinking about potential questions the remaining judges might ask, and how she would answer them.

She also quietly mentioned the confrontation with Jane to Ms. Mira, who just smiled at her sympathetically.

“You can be nice to everyone, Rayne,” Her teacher had explained, “But sometimes you’ll meet people who just don’t like you for some make believe slight, or just for no reason at all. But if you just keep being you, then I’m sure that the vast majority of people will like you very much.”

Rayne mulled over Ms. Mira’s advice for a short time before deciding her teacher was probably right, and when she really thought about it, she didn’t really care whether complete strangers liked her or not. They weren’t the ones who mattered, and there was no point devoting more brain power to the confrontation. That sent her back to the monotony of silent preparation and brainstorming for any other judges who may visit.

Mr. Smith and Mrs. Tanner stopped by just to congratulate her on making it this far. Jackie Ferguson eyed her from across the room but never came over in person, and Dr. Malone came to examine her work once again, but they didn’t exchange any words. It totally wasn’t because Rayne was still intimidated by the man. Definitely not.

It was 7:30, with only half an hour to go, when Berny approached her alongside a tall, young man. He had short hair, and a big bushy beard – trimmed and styled to look neat. Rayne identified him to be the seventh judge. The only one she had not yet met.

“Hello again Rayne,” Berny greeted her with a warm handshake, “How has your evening been so far.”

“It’s been okay,” she replied after withdrawing her hand, “A little rocky and nerve racking here and there, but I haven’t broken down yet so that’s something.” She chuckled nervously.

“Indeed it is,” Berny agreed, chuckling with her, “Although, I believe you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Rayne blushed lightly at the compliment, responding only with a light shrug.

“Anyways,” Berny said, getting back on topic, “If you’d give me the honor, I’d like to introduce you to Harrison Cooke.” He gestured to the man beside him. “Harrison, this is Rayne, the youngest student in the competition. Rayne, this is Harrison, The youngest judge on the panel. See? You have something in common already.”

The group laughed at that. Youngest artist and youngest judge shook hands.

“What are you trying to do Berny?” The young man teased, “Sounds like you’re trying to set us up on a date or something.”

Rayne blushed and laughed with the two men. She knew what Berny was trying to do though. He was trying to make her as comfortable as possible, and thankfully, it was working.

“I dunno, he seems a bit old for me.” She chipped in, trying to keep the conversation as light hearted.

“Who’s calling me old now!” The young judge demanded with mock indignation.

After another small bout of shared laughter, Harrison turned to her work. “Anyways, all joking aside, let’s get down to business.”

“What inspired you to portray death in your work?” he asked, staring intently at her pieces.

“Nothing really. The whole project just started with an idea. I wanted to see if, through the use of contrast, I could draw a viewer’s eye to a specific place on the piece and cause them to completely miss another, more significant, element. That element just ended up being the grim reaper on a whim.”

When Harrison nodded, Rayne continued.

“It was really after coming across the ‘four manners of death’ that I was inspired to make the other pieces. It might be better for me to come up with some grand inspiration for the series, but it was really just a coincidence.”

“Yes,” Harrison mused, “I recall reading your explanation about that, and don’t worry about it. Your honesty is appreciated and will serve you just as well.”

He stared intently at her work for a long time.

Rayne stood next to him, hands folded in front of her, contemplating whether she should say something or elaborate further.

“Tell me Rayne,” Harrison began, sparing her from the decision, “What do you like to do besides art?”

“Oh, um,” Rayne hadn’t really been expecting that. Earlier she had entertained the idea of receiving a question unrelated to her work, but she didn’t really expect it to happen, “I like to read – usually high fantasy, I love video games, and spending time with my family.”

“Hmmm, A gamer girl eh?”

Blushing, Rayne nodded shyly.

“I was mainly asking,” Harrison explained, “Because I was curious as to whether your other hobbies had any influence on your art.”

“Ahh,” Rayne said in understanding, “Well, if you saw some of my other work, I’m sure you’d see that they do.”

Harrison chuckled and nodded. “I think I’d like to see more. But for now, I have everything I need.”

He turned back to her and offered another handshake.

She accepted it.

“Thank you so much for this opportunity Mr. Cooke.”

“Please, call me Harrison.” He insisted, “And thank you for sharing your work with me. Best of luck tonight.”

The two judges departed, and Rayne released a heavy sigh. It was out of her hands now. Whether she made it or not, she could proudly say she had done her best.

A few minutes later an announcement came over the intercom.

“The judges will spend the next hour discussing their findings before presenting the results at 9:00. If anyone cannot remain until the allotted time, then the results will also be forwarded by email tomorrow morning.”

Rejoining Ms. Mira and Ryan, Rayne finally felt the exhaustion hit her. It had been a long day. Not too long for her want to leave without the results however.

“So, do I even need to ask whether we’re waiting around for the results or not?” Ms. Mira asked.

Ryan just looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Unless Rayne disagrees, do we even need to answer that?”

The group, too tired to laugh, just smiled.

“How about I see if I can’t go find some coffee?” Cynthia asked, before quickly adding, “And hot chocolate for the little one?”

Rayne smiled and rolled her eyes, but didn’t say no.

Ryan and Ms. Mira both agreed quickly.

“We’re just gonna go find a place to sit down.” Ms. Mira announced, deciding for the whole group – not that either Ryan or Rayne would have disagreed.
 

~o~O~o~
 
A short time later, Cynthia, warm drinks in hand, found them sitting on the floor together. Ryan and Ms. Mira were quietly discussing the events of the night, and Rayne was leaning against the wall, apparently asleep.

“Hey,” Cynthia whispered, joining them on the floor and distributing the drinks, “She clunked out, eh?”

Ryan and Ms. Mira smiled, silently chuckling as they looked over at the sleeping girl.

“She told me about her day on the way over. Sounds like she had a bit more going on today then just the showing.” Ms. Mira explained.

“Oh?” Cynthia asked, prompting their teacher to elaborate further.

Ms. Mira shook her head, “It’s not my place to say anything further.”

Ryan and Cynthia nodded in understanding, although if Cynthia’s frown was any clue, she clearly wanted to know more.

“Darn right it’s not.” Rayne mumbled, drawing chuckles from the rest of the group.

She slowly sat up and opened her eyes.

“But,” she said slowly, rubbing the drowsiness from her eyes, “If ya gimme ma coco I might tell you.”

With a giggle, Cynthia pulled the last cup from the tray and handed it over.

Rayne took a small sip. A satisfied smile gracing her face.

“Ahhhhh.”

“Sooooooo” Cynthia prompted, wanting the explanation she was promised.

Rayne rolled her eyes. “So nosey.” She teased, but she went into an explanation nonetheless.

“I had an appointment with my sister and Ms. Reid, the student counsellor.”

“What would you be talking to her about?” Cynthia asked, not understanding.

“Was it about,” Ryan began, before looking around cautiously, “The – Ya know – the thing?”

Rayne nodded slowly.

Cynthia looked more confused, “The thing? What thing?”

Rayne sighed and shook her head. Ryan face-palmed. Ms. Mira giggled.

“Ya know Cynthia,” Ryan began, “Despite how long I’ve known you, it still shocks me how sometimes, despite being really intelligent, you can be sooooo thick headed.”

Cynthia just looked more confused. “What? I don’t get it. What thing?”

Rayne sighed again and gestured to her body, “Ya know? The thing? We talked about it last week?”

Sudden understanding dawned on Cynthia’s face. “OOOOOH, THE-,” she looked around quickly before finishing in a whisper, “The thing.”

Rayne giggled and shook her head at the girl’s reaction. “Yes Cynthia. The thing.”

“Well?” Cynthia asked, prompting Rayne to continue now that she was back in the loop.

Rayne rolled her eyes and continued, “Ms. Reid, Eva, and I were making a plan about how to tell my family. Eva and I are gonna tell them on Sunday.”

Cynthia squealed in excitement. “Oh Rayne, that’s great! Maybe we’ll see you at school on Monday!”

Ryan hmphed. “That’s unlikely.”

“Whhhhy not?!” Cynthia asked, annoyed that he’d shoot her down so fast. When she saw both Ms. Mira and Rayne nodding in agreement with Ryan, she asked again, a bit calmer, “Why?”

“Cynthia,” Ms. Mira explained quietly, “Even if Rayne’s whole family is as accepting as you, there’s still a lot involved in order for her to openly live as Rayne, if she were even comfortable to do so.”

Cynthia slowly nodded, “I think I understand. Coming out to the whole school is pretty different from just telling your family huh?”

Rayne nodded. “Honestly, I’m freaking out over just the plan for Sunday. I’m really scared.”

Cynthia pulled her into a hug. For the next few minutes no one said anything. They just sat together.

Finally, when the hug split up, the conversation moved onto lighter things. They discussed the judge’s critiques, Ryan expressing his dissatisfaction with his own conversations with the judges, and Rayne doing her best not to think about her own.

“It’s out of my hands now.” Were the words she kept saying.

Finally, an announcement came over the intercom.

“Would all entrants please gather at the podium for the results.”

Rayne and Ryan met each other’s gaze.

“It’s time.” Ms. Mira announced. “You two ready?”

Ryan nodded as he rose to his feet, Rayne let out a shaky breath as she rose to hers.

Together, the group walked to the podium. The seven judges were already there, patiently waiting for the entrants to gather. Ms. Mira and Cynthia waited with the rest of the non-entrant attendees at the edge of the group as Ryan and Rayne joined the small crowd of students.

Once Berny was satisfied that the whole group was present, he began.

“Well, I hope everyone’s nights were as exciting and enjoyable as ours – hopefully without the stress. It’s been a long, challenging, and – more then anything else I think – exhausting three hours. Seeing all of your hard work and passion, and then having to eliminate 60% of you has been incredibly taxing. When the idea for this event was first conceived, we could never have anticipated the level of talent we would witness. Can you believe we ever actually thought we may have to cancel the event for lack of talent?”

The man slowly shook his head.

“I believe I speak for the whole panel of judges when I say that I have been inspired by the youth before us today. Please, another round of applause. They deserve it.”

Those present put their hands together, many of the student’s clapping each other on the back. Once the room was quiet again, Berny continued.

“Now, without further delay, I will list our ten finalists, in no particular order, who will present their work at the gallery in two weeks time.”

One by one he listed the ten names. Those whose names were called reacting in all manners from tears of joy, to fists flying into the air.

“Charlie Pickering”

“Alyson Ecclestone”

“Warren Marchand”

“Tricia Jordan”

“Jessa Kimball”

“Rayne Danahy”

Her mind went blank. She was vaguely aware that names were still being called, but it didn’t matter. Had she heard that correctly? Did he say her name? Was she dreaming?

A moment later Ryan was grabbing her by the shoulders.

“You did it! Rayne! You made it in!”

“I did it?” She asked, still not quite believing it.

“You did it.” Ryan whispered into her ear, pulling her into a hug.

Tears welled up in her eyes. She had done it. After three showings, she had been awarded one of ten spots, out of hundreds of kids.

“RAYNE!”

Cynthia came bulldozing through the slowly dispersing crowd of students, throwing her arms around Ryan and Rayne.

“OHMYGOSH YOU MADE IT!!!” She squealed with joy.

Rayne’s vision was clouded with tears. “I didn’t think I would make it.” She said slowly still in a daze.

“I knew you were the right student for this.” Ms. Mira asked as she joined the group, “I knew from the beginning that you had it in you.”

Breaking away from her friends, Rayne threw her arms around her teacher, pulling her into a hug.

“Thanks for believing in me.” She whispered.

“Always.” Her teacher whispered back.

The two of them broke apart, Rayne wiping the tears from her eyes.

She turned to Ryan, “D- did you make it? I kinda blanked after my name was called.”

Ryan smiled back at her, “No. I didn’t. But I knew I wouldn’t. All night the judges were giving other student’s works more attention than mine. I’m not upset though. I’m just happy to have made it this far, and happy that one of us made it all the way.”

Rayne pulled him into another hug.

When they separated, Rayne had to wipe more tears from her eyes.

“Gosh, why am I so emotional?” She mumbled to herself, eliciting laughter from the rest of the small group.

“Eh, it’s been a long, emotional day for you. And you’re really tired.” Cynthia explained, making light of it.

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, “Besides, you’re up awfully late for a little girl.”

“C’mon!” Rayne pouted, “I’m not THAT much younger than you guys.”

There was more laughter, only interrupted by Berny’s approach.

“I just wanted to congratulate you in person Rayne.” The friendly old man explained, offering a handshake, “You’re truly a special girl.”

Rayne pushed past his handshake and wrapped the old man in a hug.

“I’m to emotional for handshakes right now.” She blubbered, crying again.

Laughing, the man returned her embrace.

When she let him go, Ms. Mira spoke up, “We need to get going Rayne. It’ll be past 10 by the time I get you home.”

Rayne nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes once more. She thanked Berny again, and departed with Ms. Mira. A short time later, and after a few more goodbye hugs to her friends, they were on the road. Rayne asleep in the car within minutes.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“C’mon Rayne. We’re at your house.”

“Mmmmmm”

“C’mon Rayne. You just gotta get up long enough to get to bed.

Slowly, Rayne was drawn from her slumber.

With a yawn, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked out the window.

They were parked in front of her house.

“Do you need a hand getting in?” Ms. Mira asked, watching the drowsy girl.

“Nope.” She mumbled back. “Doors are locked but I gotta key.”

Ms. Mira nodded as Rayne opened the door and climbed out.

“I’ll stick around until you get inside. And congratulations again Rayne.”

Rayne smiled, nodded, and waved goodbye as she closed the door. She turned and walked up to her house, rummaging in her purse for her keys. Finding them, she drew them out, selected the right one, and inserted it into the door.

The turned the knob and stepped inside, kicking off her shoes, then closing and locking the door behind her.

She had taken two steps towards the stairs when the light was flicked on.

“JUST WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, AND WHY HAVEN’T YOU BEEN-

Jameson’s fury was cut short by the sight before him.

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

Rayne’s eyes did the opposite, going wide in shock.

“Answering your phone.” He finished weakly, fury having been killed by confusion.

“D- Dad?” The word slipped though her lips.

Confusion gave way to recognition, followed by more confusion.

“Raymond?” her father asked incredulously.

This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t happening. It was such a cliché. Teenager goes somewhere without telling parents. Teenager comes home late. Parents are waiting to catch them red handed.

Such a cliché.

That happened in the movies. And on TV. Not in real life, right? It was almost funny. She could have laughed.

But it wasn’t funny. And she didn’t laugh.

“Y- Y- You’re n- not supposed to be here.” Rayne stammered instead, heart seizing.

Who had she been kidding. Rayne? She wasn’t Rayne. She was Raymond. A boy in a dress, playing make-believe about a life he didn’t have. Couldn’t have.

“Raymond?” Jameson asked again.

Sebastian walked out of the kitchen at the confrontation. He stopped in his tracks and did a double take at the sight before him.

Rayne – Raymond – turned and fled. He leapt up the stairs, two at a time, and bolted for his door.

“RAYMOND!”

He ignored his fathers call, threw his bedroom door open, slammed it shut behind him, and turned the lock.

Raymond. Rayne. It didn’t matter anymore. Her own personal apocalypse had begun.

---

---

Good morning! For me at least.

Flummox here.

So, this was the big one. With a big ending.

Hope you can forgive the cliffhanger. I promise I’m not some kind of literary sadist, taking pleasure in torturing my readers. It just seemed like… a very good place for one. That and the chapter was running long already.

Hopefully I didn’t leave in too many mistakes, I was catching them right up until the moment of posting, so I’m sure there’s still a couple. But with any luck they won’t be huge or embarrassing.

Anyways, as always, thanks for taking the time to read. Comments and messages make my day and keep me motivated, so if you feel comfortable doing that and have the time to, I’d love to hear from you. They also serve to help me improve as a writer.

Lots more to come, I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long.

Thanks for everything,

Flummox

---

A Blank Page
Chapter 13
By Flummox

---

Evalyn pulled in to the driveway. It had been a long day. School, the meeting with Rayne and Ms. Reid. Dinner at her friend’s house, the movie. A great day, but a long one.

At least with her father and brother gone camping she’d be able to park in the garage.

She reached up and pressed the remote garage opener. The garage slowly opened.

Oh shit.

Her father’s truck was in the garage.

Why the fuck was her father’s truck in the garage?

Panic setting in, Evalyn leapt from her car, barely remembering to close and lock it behind her.

She bolted for the door. Not knowing what to expect.

The house was… oddly quiet.

She slowly closed the door behind her and took off her shoes and jacket.

“Raymond. C’mon. Open the door.”

She heard the voice calling from upstairs. It didn’t take a genius to put together the pieces of what happened. Rayne had come home. For some reason, her father and brother hadn’t gone camping and were waiting. They had seen Rayne as Rayne. She had fled to her room.

With a heavy sigh Evalyn walked quickly up the stairs. This certainly hadn’t been how they had planned to tell the family. At the top of the stairs she found her father and brother. The former leaning against Rayne’s door, the later sitting on the floor next to it.

Both of them turned to look at her immediately.

“Evalyn!” Jameson called out, “Do you have any idea what’s going on? Raymond came home, dressed up as- dressed up as-” he stammered trying to find the right words. Failing, he just plowed onwards, “He ran to his room. It’s been an hour and a half. He won’t come out and won’t let us in.”

Evalyn sighed. It was exactly as she thought.

“Move.” She ordered calmly stepping over to the door.

Jameson blinked rapidly, not used to receiving orders from his daughter.

Evalyn flicked her hands, motioning for him to move aside.

Slowly he complied.

She stepped in front of her younger sibling’s door and gently knocked.

“Rayne?” She called out, “It’s Eva. Can I come in?”

Jameson looked at Sebastian in bewilderment. “Rayne?” he whispered, not comprehending.

Sebastian, on the other hand, had heard the name before. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but for very different reasons than his father. He had thought Rayne was the name of his sister’s girlfriend.

The lock clicked, and the door opened a crack. Sebastian leapt to his feet, and Jameson whipped around to look at the door. Evalyn stopped them both in their tracks with a glare and a held-up hand. She slipped though the door, closing and locking it again behind her.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Earlier that day

Jameson and Sebastian were climbing into the formers truck, loaded up with their camping gear, when the call came.

Jameson glanced at the call display on his phone, and, seeing that it was his brother, swiped the answer symbol.

“Hey Frank, me and Seb were just heading out.”

Sebastian watched as his father silently listened to his uncle.

“Ah shit.” His Jameson replied to the phone, “I understand Frank. You just focus on getting the little man better. I’ll call dad and make sure he’s okay.”

Sebastian frowned. Clearly this wasn’t good news.

“Yup. Yup. Alright. Talk to you later brother.”

Jameson hung up the phone and turned to his eldest son with a heavy sigh and a frown.

“What’s wrong pops?” Sebastian asked anxiously.

“Billy’s come down with a bad case of the flu.” Jameson explained, “On top of that, your Grandfather threw his back out this afternoon while he was getting ready. Doesn’t look like this trips gonna be happening buddy.”

“Oh man.” Sebastian began, “I really hope Grampa and Billy are okay.”

Jameson smiled at his son. “I’m sure they’ll be fine. Billy’s just sick, and you know Gramps has a bad back.”

Sebastian nodded. “Hey, ya know Dad. This doesn’t mean we have to cancel the trip.”

Jameson raised an eyebrow, wordlessly prompting Sebastian to continue.

“I mean, it won’t be as fun without Grampa, Uncle Frank, and the Twins, but we could still go. I’m sure we’ll still have a good time. Unless you don’t want to.”

Jameson regarded his son, then slowly nodded.

“Ya know what? You’re right Seb. Just the two of us tonight, Ray’ll join us tomorrow. Maybe Eva and your mother will join us too. I was looking forward to a men’s weekend, but I’d be just as happy spending it with just our family.”

Sebastian grinned.

“Let me just call Raymond and update him on our plans.” Jameson said as he deftly navigated the menus of his phone before tapping the call button on Raymond’s contact page. He put the phone to his ear.

…

…

…

Upon getting to the voicemail Jameson hung up without leaving a message. “That’s odd. Raymond is usually diligent about answering his phone.”

“Huh.” Sebastian mused, “Maybe he’s just distracted? He’s with his best friend after all.”

“Maybe.” Jameson agreed. “I’ll try one more time.”

He hit call again.

…

…

…

Voicemail.

“Hey son. There’s been a change of plans. Call me back and I’ll fill ya in.” Jameson left a quick message and hung up again.

“That’s not like him.” Jameson stated, concern creeping into his voice.

“Well,” Sebastian began, “We still have to stop by the grocery store, right? Let’s do that, then in an hour or so, we’ll try again. If there’s still no answer, well, you have Logan’s Mom’s number, right? I think her name was Katelyn?”

Jameson nodded. “You’re right. What would I do without you son?”

Sebastian laughed, “I dunno. Have a mid-life crisis?”

The two of them chuckled as they headed down to the grocery store.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Jameson and Sebastian exited the grocery store, arms loaded with food for the weekend. They had hot dogs and hamburgers, hot chocolate and marshmallows, and everything else one might need on a camping trip. After they loaded everything into the truck, Jameson pulled out his phone.

For the third time that afternoon, he dialed his sons number.

And for the third time that afternoon, he was directed to voicemail.

Frowning and genuinely worried, Jameson turned to Sebastian. “Can you try him on your phone? I’m going to call Logan’s Mom.”

“Yeah, for sure Dad.” Sebastian replied, beginning to share his fathers concern.

Jameson dialed Katelyn’s number as Sebastian dialed Raymond’s.

Sebastian got voicemail, but Jameson had better luck.

“Hello?” the voice came through the line as the call was connected.

“Hi Katelyn, it’s Jameson.” He replied, “Raymond’s father.”

“Of course, of course. How are you?”

Jameson sighed, “Well, I could be doing better. Ray isn’t answering his phone. Is he and Logan around? Do you think I could talk to him?”

“What?” She replied, the inflection of her voice raising in confusion, “Why would you think he was here?”

“Because,” Jameson paused, his own confusion growing, “Because he told me the he and Logan wanted to hang out and would be spending the night together. He said Logan was going to pick him up after school.”

“Well that’s the first I’ve heard about it.” Katelyn replied, “Logan has been home all afternoon. He hasn’t been gone long enough to make it to your place and back. One moment, let me ask him.”

“No, no, that’s not necessary.” Jameson decided, the realization that his son had lied to him setting in. “I’ll figure this out. But if you wouldn’t mind, could you ask Logan to message Raymond? Get him to ask Ray to call me? I’m worried.”

“Of course, Jameson. I completely understand.”

They said their goodbyes and the call was disconnected.

Sebastian had been watching his father intently throughout the call.

“What’s going on Dad?” He asked, sensing his father’s unease.

“What’s going on, Seb,” Jameson began, “Is that Raymond lied to us about where he was going tonight. Looks like we may have to cancel that camping trip after all.”

“What?” Sebastian replied, surprised by this revelation, “Why would Raymond lie? He’s always been pretty upfront with you and Mom, Right?”

“Yeah, or at least I thought so.” Jameson shook his head slowly, “Whatever’s going on, I’m going to get to the bottom of it. Let’s go home.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Present time

Rayne didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say. Everything was coming crumbling down. They weren’t supposed to find out like this.

Evalyn slipped through the cracked door and quickly closed it behind her. Locking it once more.

“They w- wer- weren’t supposed to find out like this.” Rayne whispered, her voice barely audible.

“I know.” Evalyn said soothingly, pulling her into a hug, “I know.”

Rayne sobbed into her sister’s shoulders as she was gently guided to the bed.

“That weren’t supposed to find out like this.” She said again, too panicked to say anything else.

“It’s not a big deal.” Evalyn said calmly, trying to get her sister to calm down. “We were gonna tell them on Sunday anyways, right? It’s just a bit early.”

“B- b- but they weren’t supposed to find out like THIS.” Rayne sobbed.

“But they were supposed to find out. Right, Rayne?” Evalyn asked, still holding her sister close.

Rayne didn’t say anything, but Evalyn did feel her nodding against her shoulder.

“So,” She continued, “It was a bit more shocking than we planned, but it’s really not a big deal, right? Like Ms. Reid said, the shock value might get them to take this more seriously.”

Again, Rayne said nothing. She just kept her face buried in Evalyn’s shoulder.

“Rayne.” Evalyn continued, feeling the girl relax ever so slightly at the sound of her name, “Just think of it like a band-aid Rayne. You’ve ripped it off. The hardest part’s over. Okay Rayne? We’re gonna get through this.”

Slowly, the two girls separated.

Rayne’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. Her cheeks still gleamed with tears, and her nose was a bit runny.

“You better not have gotten snot on me.” Evalyn teased with mock seriousness, drawing a very small smile and a watery giggle from her little sister.

Rayne sniffled and reached for the box of tissue she kept on her desk. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

“Feeling a bit better?” Evalyn asked after a moment.

Rayne slowly nodded.

“Do you wanna go talk to them now?” Evalyn asked cautiously.

She quickly realized that was the wrong question to ask as a fresh wave of tears began to pool in her sister’s eyes.

“Please no.” Rayne begged, shaking her head violently, “Don’t make me. Not tonight. I can’t tonight.”

“Shhh shh shh,” Evalyn hushed her, drawing her back into her arms. “Not tonight then. In the morning. Okay?”

Rayne slowly nodded.

Once she was calm again, Evalyn slowly stood up.

“I’ll be right back.” She said, answering the unasked question in Rayne’s wide eyes.

She walked over to the door, turned the lock, and stuck her head out.

“Rayne doesn’t want to see anyone tonight. We’ll talk in the morning.” Evalyn said quietly.

“What?” came Jameson’s reply, muffled by the door, “No. I need answers.”

“And you’ll have them Dad.” Evalyn replied sternly, in a tone that left no room for arguments, “In the MORNING.”

She didn’t wait for his reply, she just closed and locked the door once again. She walked back over to Rayne’s bed, and sat down on the edge.

“Scootch over.” She said, “I’m tired.”

Rayne did as she was told, making room for her sister in the small bed. Soon the two of them were cuddled up under the blankets.

“Goodnight Rayne.” Evalyn whispered.

“Goodnight Eva.” Rayne whispered back, “I love you.”

“I love you too li’l sis.” Her sister mumbled back.

It had been an awfully long day, and mere seconds later, the sisters each fell into a deep sleep.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne slowly opened her eyes. She turned and glanced at her alarm clock. 11:30.

Wow. She had really crashed last night. She slowly stood up and stretched, suddenly aware that she was still wearing her outfit from last night. That was odd. She never slept in her clothes-

The memories from arriving home the previous night came rushing back. She collapsed back onto her bed. Evalyn was nowhere to be seen. She must have gotten up already. She had to fight back another round of tears. She couldn’t afford to break down again.

She took a long, slow, deep breath.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

In.

And out.

When she felt her hammering heart begin to slow, and the pooling tears begin to recede, she slowly stood up again. She needed to change.

That brought her to her next obstacle.

Did she change into another of her outfits? Or did she switch back into Raymond mode?

She definitely didn’t WANT to go back to being Raymond, and her brother and father had already seen her as herself, so did it matter? No, she couldn’t think about it like that. It definitely did matter. Just because they’d seen her, didn’t mean they were accepted her or were even prepared to meet her. There was her Mom to think about too.

With a heavy sigh, she pulled off her dress and tossed it to the side, followed by her bra and panties. She went to her closet and pulled out some of Raymond’s clothes. Sighing heavily once again, she quickly got dressed and walked to her door.

She paused there, for a long minute, both to collect herself, and to listen for anyone in the hall. Finally, satisfied that no one was there, she opened the door a crack and peeked out. Confirming her suspicion that she was alone, she tiptoed down the hall to the washroom, slipped inside, and locked the door behind her.

The safety of a locked door was truly marvelous.

In the washroom, she scrubbed what little makeup she still bore from her face. Finally, looking in the mirror, she sighed heavily once more. It was obvious she had been crying, but she didn’t really know what she could do about that.

Transformation complete – mask back in place – Raymond glumly turned to the door.

“Well.” He mumbled to himself, “Here we go.”

Taking another deep breath, he opened the door and stepped into the hall. He walked down the stairs, as quietly as he could of course. He could clearly hear voices coming from the kitchen, so that’s where he headed. He paused around the corner out of sight to take one last deep, calming breath before presenting himself to his family.

He slowly stepped in, and whatever conversation had been in progress stopped. His father, Sebastian, and Evalyn were all seated at the kitchen table. They were all watching him. He couldn’t bring himself to meet anyone’s gaze. He just went about getting a bowl of cereal, conscious of the eyes that followed him the whole time. Finally, he joined them at the table, taking his usual seat.

He kept his eyes fixed on his food, or at least he did until his father spoke.

“So, uh,” Jameson began, clearly uncomfortable, “You ready to talk squirt?”

Raymond quickly shoved a spoon full of cereal into his mouth, gaining a few seconds to collect his thoughts. He looked hesitantly at Evalyn.

“She hasn’t said anything.” Sebastian stated, “No matter how much we asked, she insisted that it wasn’t her place to tell.”

Raymond pursed his lips. It almost would have been easier if she had told them, but at the same time, she was right. He had to be the one to explain it.

“Thanks Eva.” He whispered. She just nodded and gave him a small smile of encouragement.

“I- I’m ready to talk.” Raymond said, finally finding the strength to meet his father and brother’s strong gazes.

“B- but, um, would it be okay if we waited until Mom got home?” He asked hesitantly, “I’d really like this to be a conversation with the whole family.”

Jameson slowly nodded. “I think that’s a good idea. However, you are definitely in trouble. You lied to us. So, until she gets home you can sit right there and work on any homework you have, or just study.”

Raymond nodded. That was fair, and he had the feeling he’d be in a lot more trouble when his parents found out everything.

“The same goes for you Evalyn.” His father continued.

“What?!” Evalyn demanded, “Why me too?!”

His father’s stern glare turned to her. “Because whatever’s been going on, you were clearly in on it. Which means you lied as well.”

She held up her finger to argue, but her retaliation slowly wilted and she let out a huff, resigning herself to the punishment.

“Besides,” Jameson continued, “Making you study is hardly a punishment. If anything, I should ban you from studying.”

Obviously, he was joking, and he did manage to draw a small chuckle from the older kids. The knot of nerves in Raymond’s stomach prevented him from seeing the humor.

As soon as they were finished eating, Raymond and Evalyn grabbed their school books and began to study. Sebastian grabbed his and joined them without a word.

They studied in silence for half an hour, until their father stuck his head in the kitchen. “I’m going to pick up your mother. Can I trust you to stay right here? Or do I need to drag you with me?”

Evalyn giggled, “We’ll stay right here Daddio.”

Raymond gave a small nod.

Jameson was less amused, and wasn’t excepting a nod as an answer.

“Well Raymond?” he pressed.

“Yeah Dad.” He said quietly.

“Okay then.” Jameson finished, finally satisfied, “Seb, you’re in charge.”

He left without another word.

When they heard the door close, Sebastian looked up from his work, “Okay, who wants to step outside for some fresh air?”

“But Dad said-

“I know what Dad said Eva.” Sebastian cut off his sister, “I just thought it might do you two some good. Besides, we’ll be right back at the table long before Mom and Dad get back.”

“Thanks Seb.” Raymond mumbled, climbing to his feet.

With a sigh Evalyn joined them.

The three siblings stepped out into the backyard, and followed Sebastian out onto the lawn where they sat down.

Raymond collapsed onto his back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, taking in the smell of the fresh air.

“So.” Sebastian began, “This is completely up to you two, but do you want to give me any idea of what we’re walking into when Mom and Dad get back?”

“What WE’RE walking into?” Evalyn asked, “Not just me and Raymond?”

“Course.” Sebastian said, as if it were obvious, “I’ll always have your backs. Whether Eva’s a lesbian, or Raymond’s a girl.”

Raymond sat up in shock. He had said it like it was nothing. Like it was just some everyday thing that happened. Evalyn giggled. Sebastian just scratched his nose.

“Well I am most certainly not a lesbian.” Evalyn clarified.

Sebastian laughed, “And like I said, I’d be perfectly okay with it if you were. Nothing wrong with that in my books. That’s what I thought you were hiding on Friday though. I thought that this Rayne girl I heard about was your girlfriend. Now I’m thinking that I was completely wrong and that that’s not the case.”

He turned to look at Raymond who made a point of staring at and playing with the grass.

“It’s up to Raymond how much he wants to tell you.” Evalyn said, also watching their younger sibling. “Although I think it would be a good idea to fill him in now.”

Raymond slowly nodded. He took a deep breath.

“I- I think I’m transgender.”

Sebastian looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “You think?”

Raymond swallowed nervously.

“I dunno.” He mumbled, “Everything’s just so confusing right now.”

He buried his face in his hands.

Sebastian waited patiently, while Evalyn put a comforting hand on Raymond’s shoulder.

Finally, he met his brother’s gaze and continued.

“All I do know, is that when I’m Raymond, I’m always so miserable. I feel trapped, and claustrophobic. But when I’m-

He hesitated. He took another deep, shaky breath.

“But when I’m Rayne, it’s like I live in a different world. Everything is bright, and colorful, and beautiful. I feel alive.”

He went back to playing with the grass.

“So, is that it?” Sebastian asked nonchalantly.

“W-what do you mean ‘is that it’?” Raymond asked, still staring at the ground.

“So maybe I have two little sisters instead of one.” Sebastian clarified with a shrug, “Not that big of a deal, is it?”

Raymond looked up, tears clouding his vision.

He couldn’t stop himself, he leapt at his brother, pulling him into a hug.

“I love you so much.” He sobbed into his brother’s shirt.

Sebastian just hugged him back, and a moment later he felt Evalyn’s arms join them.

“I love you BOTH so much.” He corrected himself.

When the group hug broke up, Raymond dried his tears, and Sebastian announced that they should get back inside.

“The rest of my questions can be answered when we tell Mom and Dad.” He explained, “I just wanted to be able to support you when you tell them.”

The trio went back inside, retook their seats at the table, and resumed their studies.

For the first time all day, Raymond felt that everything would be okay. With Sebastian and Evalyn’s support, he could get through anything.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The family was sitting around the dining room table. Raymond fidgeting nervously under the heavy gaze of his parents.

Evalyn and Sebastian sat on his right and left respectively. Evalyn holding his hand, Sebastian sitting quietly.

Their parents sat on the opposite side of the table. Patiently waiting for an explanation.

“S- so, uh, d- did Dad tell you anything?” Raymond asked, addressing his mother but avoiding eye contact.

She had used the washroom and changed upon arriving home, but immediately afterwards had sat down with the family for the talk. She was tired and irritable from her business trip and flight, and Raymond found himself wishing that they were still having this conversation tomorrow. When she might be in a more understanding mood.

“Your father told me everything he knew.” She said calmly, “That you lied to us about where you were going, and that you came home in drag.”

Raymond shifted uneasily. He hated that description. ‘in drag’. He felt like it made it all seem so different than what it really was.

“Well?” his mother prompted, slowly losing her patience.

“I- I, um, I…” he trailed off, looking down at the table.

Evalyn squeezed his hand.

He turned to look at her, tears beginning to form in his eyes already.

“I don’t know how to tell them.” He whispered.

Sebastian put his hand on his shoulder.

“Tell them like you told me.” He said reassuringly.

“Tell us what?” their mother demanded, growing frustrated, “I’m getting sick of all the-

“I think I’m transgender.” Raymond blurted suddenly.

There. It was out. The band-aid was off, so to speak.

“What?” Their mother asked, blinking rapidly.

“I think I’m transgender.” He said again, more slowly this time.

Their mother’s hard features visibly softened.

“Raymond,” she began gently, realizing things were more serious than she first thought, “What would make you think that?”

Jameson just stared at his youngest son. Expression unreadable.

Raymond sighed heavily, “For as long as I can remember, ever since I was old enough to notice that boys and girls were different, I’ve felt wrong. Like my body didn’t fit. As I grew older, it got worse and worse. It got so bad, that I stopped trying. I retreated into myself, neglected my studies, my health, and all of you. Finally, last spring, I got the courage to try again. I thought that if I lost weight, I might be able to be comfortable in my body like Seb or Eva. But I didn’t. I still felt trapped and claustrophobic.”

He sniffed back some tears, before continuing.

“Then, I dressed up as Rayne for the first time.”

“Rayne?” His mother asked with a raised eyebrow.

Raymond blushed, “Uh, y- yeah. My g- girl name.”

Thankfully, she didn’t say anything, and just allowed him to continue.

“I dressed up as Rayne for the first time, and everything changed. Suddenly, it was like I was free. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could breathe. It was everything I dreamt of when I started working out with Seb.”

“Why were you dressing up as a girl in the first place?” Jameson asked, joining the conversation for the first time.

“O- oh. Uh, d- do you remember that talented youth event Evalyn told you about at family dinner last summer?”

“I vaguely recall something, yes.” Jameson said, nodding his head, “Something about Ray being one of only three students from your school who were invited?”

“Yeah. That. Well, uh, I entered. As Rayne.”

“Why would you enter as a girl?” Jameson asked, still unsatisfied with the answer. Catalina’s brow was also furrowing, but for different reasons.

“I originally just wanted to enter under an alias. With a disguise.” Raymond explained, “You know how I get really anxious talking to groups and how I hate sharing my art? Well for some reason, I was convinced that if I didn’t enter as myself, I wouldn’t have those problems.”

“I still don’t get it.” Jameson said bluntly, “How did that lead to you dressing as a girl.”

Raymond looked at Evalyn.

“Maybe I should explain that one.” She said, “I told Raymond that I would prepare his disguise for him, and to me it seemed like a no brainer. Ever since he lost all that weight, Raymond’s been a bit more on the androgynous side. I figured if he went as a girl, then even if people were looking for him afterwards they’d be looking for a girl. Not a boy.”

“I didn’t find out about it until the day of the first part of the competition, and by then it was too late to prepare anything else.” Raymond finished.

Jameson nodded, finally understanding.

“OH RIGHT!” Evalyn suddenly exclaimed, “The showing! You never told me how you did last night!”

“Raymond just fidgeted nervously, “Maybe now’s not the time Eva. Shall we move on?”

“Wait.” Catalina interjected, “Something’s fishy here. How were you able to enter without our permission? I’m sure this kind of event wouldn’t allow you to enter without it.”

Oh. Right. That.

“W- well, uh, I, uh, kinda forged your signatures.” Raymond squeaked out, anticipating the righteous fury about to come down.

“You forged. Our signatures.” His mother stated bluntly, fury boiling behind a calm visage.

“Yes?” Raymond squeaked.

“Are you aware that’s a form of fraud – A felony, Raymond?” His mother asked coldly.

“Maybe we can get back to the topic at hand?” Sebastian suggested slowly.

Their mother looked from youngest son to eldest and back again.

“Fine.” She finally agreed, “But don’t think this is the last you’ve heard of this.”

Raymond nodded, relieved to be past that for the time being at least.

“So, when did all of this happen?” Jameson asked, getting back on topic.

Raymond shrugged. “First week of school I guess.”

“So then you didn’t just lie to us about last night?” Catalina demanded, “You’ve been lying to us for a month?”

Raymond nodded weakly.

Jameson shook his head in disappointment. “Why didn’t you just tell us Ray?”

“I was scared.” He whispered back.

“Whatever would you be afraid for?” their father demanded. “Have we ever given the impression that we were homophobic? One of your Mother’s brothers is gay and we’ve never had an issue with that!”

Raymond just looked down at his feet.

“Dad.” Sebastian said calmly, “We would never accuse you of being homophobic. We know how accepting both you and Mom are, but you can’t deny that your side of the family has some old-fashioned views on gender roles.”

“What are you talking about?” Jameson asked incredulously.

“Come on Dad.” Evalyn pressed, “Grandpa Frank has been giving Ray shit about being girly for years. On top of that, your entire family is constantly asking Ray when he’s going to be a big football star like his brother. He was mocked for being into art-

“And for just reading a book to Lizzy.” Sebastian chipped in.

“Your family may not be homophobic, but it’s not a huge stretch to call them transphobic.” Evalyn finished, squeezing Raymond’s hand.

“That’s ridiculous.” Jameson exclaimed, growing angry at what he felt were attacks against his own siblings and father.

“Is it though?” Evalyn demanded, “Do you really think Raymond didn’t want to tell you? What do you think that documentary I made the family watch last weekend was all about? It was a test, Dad. To see how the family would react. And their reactions terrified Rayne so much that she got sick!”

Realization slowly dawned on both of their parent’s faces. Jameson looked at his youngest child in horror.

“Is that true Ray?” he asked quietly.

A sob burst from Raymond’s lips. He slowly looked up to meet his fathers gaze.

“I was so scared that you’d all hate me.” The words burst from his mouth as tears poured down his face. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed, all of the pent-up emotion and stress of lying to his family finally bursting free.

A moment later arms were wrapped around him, and a comforting hand placed on his shoulder.

“Hush now.” His mother soothed. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Slowly, Raymond calmed down and uncovered his eyes. His Mom was right there, hugging him tightly while his father stood over them, an anguished look on his face.

“Raymond.” Catalina whispered softly, “We would never, EVER, hate you. Whether you’re our son, or our daughter, first and foremost, you’re our child. Our baby. We will always love you.”

Raymond realized he wasn’t the only one crying. His Mom too, had tears in her eyes. And while his father wasn’t crying, it was clear from the look on his face how torn up he was.

“N- no matter what?” Raymond asked hesitantly.

“No matter what.” Jameson confirmed firmly.

Sebastian and Evalyn watched the whole exchange silently. Evalyn quietly wiping away tears, Sebastian trying to hold back his own.

Raymond took a deep shaky breath.

“Um, I, uh, I think I’d like to introduce you to Rayne.” Raymond said slowly.

“Only if you’d be comfortable with that of course.” He quickly added afterwards, still uneasy.

“I think,” Jameson said slowly, speaking for both him and his wife, “That we would love to properly meet her.”

“And I’d like to meet my little, little sister.” Sebastian added gently.

With another sniffle, Raymond slowly climbed to his feet, his mother taking her cue and letting him go.

“I’ll put on some tea and coco.” She announced, “We can continue this conversation in a few minutes.”

“I’ll come with you.” Evalyn said, following Raymond out of the room, “Just in case you need a hand with anything.”

Raymond mumbled his thanks and climbed the stairs.

Back in her room, Rayne shed the disguise that Raymond’s persona was rapidly coming. She briefly thought about the irony of the situation. Rayne had been conceived as a disguise to protect Raymond, but now Raymond was rapidly shifting to be the disguise that protected Rayne. She chose – not that her small wardrobe had much to choose from – the same outfit she had worn to the second showing, the black leggings, white blouse, and the super cozy, too big, beige sweater. She felt like she needed something cozy today.

Evalyn insisted on quickly fixing her hair, but was waived away when she suggested makeup. Rayne was only meeting her family for the first time ever. Nothing too serious, right? No need for makeup.

She swallowed nervously as she started down the stairs. Oh Jeeze. Maybe she should have accepted the makeup. She knew her face was red and puffy from crying. Well, it was too late now.

She walked back into the kitchen, Evalyn right behind her. Clearly, the rest of the family was trying hard not to stare, but they weren’t doing a great job of it.

Rayne couldn’t help but blush at there stares.

“I- I must look ridiculous.” She mumbled self-consciously, “Maybe I should go change back.”

“No.” Jameson said firmly as she started to turn back.

He stood up and took her hand.

“That’s not it at all. We just weren’t expecting,” he paused to look at the rest of the family, “I don’t think any of us were expecting you to look- to look so much, like, well, like a girl.”

Rayne blushed at the complement.

“It’s true honey.” Catalina agreed. “I didn’t see you at all last night, so I didn’t know what to expect. But to be frank, I don’t know how we didn’t notice it before. You’re certainly a very pretty girl.”

“Th- Thank you.” Rayne said, still blushing. She took her seat back at the table, and a moment later her mother sat a steaming mug of hot chocolate on the table in front of her.

“Thank’s Mom.” Rayne said quietly, wrapping her hands around the mug.

“Anytime sweetie.” She said with a smile, taking a seat next to her new daughter.

“Now,” Jameson began, “Shall we continue?”

Rayne nodded, feeling much more comfortable now that she wasn’t hiding who she was.

“So,” Rayne opened, deciding on the most logical place to resume, “Do you remember that Saturday about three weeks ago? When I wouldn’t come out of my room?”

The family nodded.

“That was the morning after I went out for the first time.” She explained, “That day was the day I realized something was wrong. I didn’t know what it was yet, but it was tearing me apart. I hated going back to being Raymond. I hated it so much, and I didn’t know what to do.”

Rayne looked down at her coco, taking a moment to collect herself.

“Eva was the one who pulled me out of it. Well you all went to family dinner, we had a girl’s day.”

Rayne smiled at the memory.

“Then she ambushed me.” Rayne teased light heartedly, “Giving me the ultimatum of either tell you guys, or talk to the school councillor the next day.”

“I think it’s obvious who you picked.” Jameson said flatly.

Rayne blushed and nodded.

“I started seeing Ms. Reid at lunch every Monday. She was the one who convinced me to come out to you all.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “She convinced you to? I thought you told us because we caught you?”

Again, Rayne blushed.

“Believe it or not,” she said slowly, “Ms. Reid, Eva, and I actually were actually planning on telling you everything tomorrow night at dinner. But then you just HAD to stay home and put me through all this turmoil.”

Her family could tell she was joking from the dramatics she put into her voice.

“Why did you stay home anyways?” Rayne asked, realizing that she still didn’t know.

Jameson waved his hand, as if he was shooing away the topic.

“Billy got sick, Grandpa put out his back. Doesn’t matter right now. Carry on.”

Despite her concern for her family, Rayne had to giggle. She took a sip of her coco before continuing.

“Anyways,” Rayne began, picking up where she left off, “Ms. Reid wanted me to tell you for another reason. There’s, um, a specialist in Vancouver I guess. Ms. Reid think’s this specialist will be able to help me.”

Catalina nodded slowly. “So, some sort of psychologist?”

Rayne nodded. “Specializing in gender therapy and transgender youth.”

There was long silence at the table.

“Okay.” Jameson broke through it, “So how do we get you in to see this psychologist?”

Rayne hesitated for a moment.

“I, um, I don’t actually know. I think you need to talk to Ms. Reid and she’ll make the referral.”

“You said you usually see her on Mondays, yes?” Catalina probed, “Why don’t we go with you on Monday?”

“Rayne looked up from her hot chocolate in surprise.

“B- but don’t you have to work?” she asked hesitantly, not wanting to cause her parents any more trouble than she already had.

“I think we can afford to miss one day.” Jameson replied without hesitation, “Call it a family emergency.”

Catalina nodded her agreement.

“I’d really like that.” Rayne said slowly.

Having the support of her parents made everything seem so much lighter. It wasn’t overwhelming anymore. She could get through this.

“Now.” His mother said, leaning forward on the table, “Tell us about this art gallery.”

“Finally!” Evalyn exclaimed in excitement. She leaned forward on the table in anticipation.

“Well, uh, basically, how it worked was that each entrant had to submit a portfolio of five pieces. A panel of judges went through all the applications and weeded out those that weren’t up to the standard they were looking for. After they had made the initial cuts, there were around 200 students from around the greater Vancouver area going into the first stage.”

His mother’s eyebrows raised, and his father frowned in surprise. They had not realized the scale of the event.

“Anyways, basically, the competition went like this. For the last three weeks, there was showing every Friday night. At each-

“Wait,” his mother interjected, an annoyed look on her face, “So it wasn’t just last night that you lied to us about your whereabouts? It was the two Fridays before that too?”

Rayne chose that moment to take a sip of her coco.

“If I may,” Evalyn began, stepping in to back up her sister, “Technically Rayne didn’t lie about where she was for the first two showings.”

Catalina turned to look at her sceptically.

“You see,” Evalyn continued, “The first night she said she was out on a date with a girl named Cynthia, right? Technically, Rayne and Cynthia were out together. The same is true for the second night. Logan DID show up to the showing, and Rayne was with the exact people she told you she was with.”

Catalina clearly wasn’t impressed. “Leaving out details may not be the same as lying about them, but it might as well be. It’s still a breach of trust. Anyways, we’ll discuss that later. Go ahead… Rayne.” She paused as she said her new daughters name, as if she was seeing how it felt on her tongue.

“Right. So, uh, yeah. At each showing the judges assessed our art and asked us questions, then deliberated amongst themselves. The original 200 was cut down to 50, then that 50 was cut down to 25. My friends Cynthia and Ryan were also in the event, but Cynthia was cut after the second showing, and unfortunately Ryan was cut last night.”

“Weren’t those two the ones Evalyn was telling us about?” Jameson asked, “She made it sound like they really had a lot of talent.”

“Oh, they do.” Rayne said, nodding her head, “They’re both SO incredible, but the level of talent in the competition was crazy high. I think everyone there was amazing.”

Jameson nodded in understanding. “How about yourself? How have you done?”

Rayne blushed at the question, shyly looking down at her mug. “Well, uh, last night I found out I would be one of the 10 finalists to present their work at the art gallery”

Evalyn squealed and leapt to her feet. She threw her arms around Rayne in a big congratulatory hug, making the younger girl giggle as she returned it.

The rest of the family just looked at her in amazement. They were thoroughly impressed. After hearing about the level of talent, Jameson had been half expecting his son- no. His daughter, to have been eliminated. He looked at his wife, who met his gaze immediately. Maybe they should rethink their daughter’s career in art.

Finally, being released by her sister, Rayne straightened her glasses, and turned to look around the table at her family.

“So, um,” She began hesitantly, “It would mean a lot to me – I mean, only if you guys want to of course – if you’d, uh, come to the art gallery with me in two weeks.”

Evalyn went wide-eyed.

“We finally get to see your art?!” She asked excitedly, to the amusement of the rest of the family who had assumed Evalyn, at least, had seen it already.

Rayne nodded nervously.

“If you’d like to see it, then I think I’m ready to show you. I’d actually really like to show you.”

Catalina smiled. “I can think of nothing else that I’d like more at the moment.”

Jameson and Sebastian nodded their agreement.

Rayne felt more tears coming to her eyes. She had the best family in the world.

“But first,” Catalina continued, face growing serious again, “We have another matter to discuss. Lying to us? Forging our signatures? What were you thinking?!”

Oh right. That.

---

---

Hello!

Flummox here.

First apology; sorry I didn't reply to any comments on chapter 12. I always try to respond to all of them, but it's been a looooong week.

Second apology; sorry if there's more typos then usual in this chapter. I haven't been sleeping well, or as much as I should. I poured over this a few times, but my eyes were a bit droopy, and I feel like I definitely missed some stuff.

Like I said, it's been a loooooooooooooooong week. If I can find the time, I'm going to go back and reply to everyone's wonderful comments.

Anyways, everything is finally out in the open for Rayne, and everything went better then she expected!

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. If you feel comfortable commenting or messaging me, please please do. I love hearing from you, and I try to reply to everything. As mentioned above, I don't always succeed. But I do try.

As long as you keep reading, I'll keep writing until Rayne's story is told.

Flummox

---

A Blank Page
Chapter 14
By Flummox

---

Rayne collapsed into her bed. She felt emotionally exhausted. It had been a long day filled with talking, emotions, and talking about emotions. Ultimately, everything had gone better than she had expected. Much better in fact. Rayne had been punished for lying and forging her parent’s signatures, but that was understandable and deserved. She had been grounded for a month. No internet, no video games, no phone except for emergencies and when she was out of the house, and no going out except for school. The only exceptions to the ‘no going out’ clause was for the art gallery in two weeks, for family outings, and for tomorrow. Rayne’s heart soared at the thought. Just last week she had been dreaming of having a day of shopping with Evalyn and their Mother, and tomorrow it was going to happen. When the verdict had come down from their parents, Rayne had readily agreed, but Evalyn had objected. She had insisted, that with the art gallery being only two weeks away, that Rayne would need a new outfit. Their father thought the idea was ridiculous, but their mother hesitated for a long moment. Evalyn capitalized on that moment to point out that Rayne’s wardrobe was pitifully small. So small, in fact, that every outfit she owned had already been worn in the initial three showings. Catalina sighed before finally agreeing with Evalyn.

Rayne sighed heavily. Everything was out in the open now. At least to her immediate family. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her chest. They had listened to her pour out her heart and soul, and they had accepter he without a second thought. They still cared about her. They still loved her. How she ever could have doubted them she might never know. The next step, was telling the extended family. All of her aunts, uncles, and cousins. And Grandpa and Grandma. Oh right. That’s why she doubted her family. It didn’t matter though. Regardless of what the rest of the family thought, Sebastian, Evalyn, and her parents accepted her. Sure, if the rest of the family rejected her it would hurt, but as long as she had the love and support of those four people closest to her, she would get through it.

Rayne sat up on her the edge of her bed. She pulled the nighty out of the hiding spot. The hiding spot that was no longer needed. She knew she’d feel yucky in the morning if she slept in her clothes again, so as tired as she was, she forced herself to change. Moments later, she collapsed into her bed once again, and soon drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she had had in a long time.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Catalina sighed heavily. She turned to look at her husband. His face was blank.

“What are we going to do?” She asked him quietly. The kids had each gone to their respective rooms, but were likely still awake. They needed to talk quietly if they wanted to talk privately.

Jameson shook his head and held his hands out helplessly, “I have no clue. Neither of us really has any experience with this. Right?”

Catalina nodded. They embraced. For a long moment, they just stood in each other’s arms. Thinking about what they could do to help their youngest child.

“Maybe it’s just a phase?” Catalina suggested hopefully.

She felt more than saw Jameson shake his head.

“I don’t know Lina. He- she-… Our child seemed pretty sure.”

“I disagree. He said ‘I think.’ Not ‘I am’. He’s not sure yet. It could just be a phase.”

“I suppose.” Humored Jameson, although he didn’t believe it.

A long silence stretched between them.

Finally, Jameson broke the silence.

“Maybe… Maybe you should call your brother. Maybe Noah or Morgan could offer some advice.”

Catalina looked up suddenly, “Why didn’t I think of that? I’m sure they would know a lot more about all of this than us.”

Noah was Catalina’s younger brother, and Morgan the name of his husband. Noah had come out as a teenager and had been an active member of the LGBTQ community in Nova Scotia – where Catalina and Noah had grown up – ever since. He and Morgan had met at pride one year, and the rest was history. Catalina had moved away from the province to go to school in Ottawa where she had met Jameson. Together, they had eventually moved back to British Colombia, settling on the small community of Lakeswood to avoid the hustle-bustle of Vancouver while staying close to Jameson’s family. Living on opposite sides of the country didn’t allow them to see each other much as much as they liked, but Catalina and Jameson made an effort to go visit at least once a year. Unfortunately, it had been two years since the last visit. Conflicting schedules just hadn’t allowed them to make the trip.

Catalina stretched up her neck and kissed her husband.

“You’re a genius.” She declared as she broke their embrace. She glanced at the clock. 7:13 on a Saturday night. That meant it would be 11:13 in Nova Scotia. She walked over to the counter and grabbed the phone. Taking it with her, she retreated to the armchair in the living room.

“Wait you’re calling NOW?” Jameson asked sceptically. “It must be pretty late there.”

Catalina shrugged as she dialed her brother’s number. “It’s quarter after 11 out there. They’ll still be up, and even if they’re not, for something like this, they’ll understand.”

Jameson shrugged and shook his head. Clearly, he wouldn’t be changing her mind.
 

~o~O~o~
 
In a dark room on the other side of the country two men were cuddled up in bed watching a movie. They were just getting to the climax. It was one of the most well-known scenes in movie history. Even many people who weren’t Star Wars fans – or even sci-fi fans in general – knew the scene.

“He told me enough!” Luke called out, “He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader stared down at him.

“No. I am your fa-

The phone rang. Noah cursed as he paused the movie. Morgan chuckled at his partner’s frustration.

They met each other’s gaze.

“Ignore it?” Noah suggested.

Morgan laughed freely and reached over to where the phone sat on the bedside table. He glanced at the call display.

“It’s your sister.” He said. “It’s your phone call. So, you make the call.”

The phone continued to ring.

Noah frowned. “Catalina never calls this late. Whatever it is I’m sure it can wait until morning.”

“Up to you babe.” Morgan replied, “But your right. She never calls this late. Maybe there’s a good reason for it.”

Noah sighed and turned back to the TV.

But he didn’t press play. The phone continued to ring.

He sighed heavily and took the phone from Morgan’s hand, much to his husband’s amusement.

Noah rolled his eyes and hit the answer button.

“Hello?”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Catalina sighed with relief. “Hey Noah. I’m so sorry to call you this late, I really hope I didn’t wake you or Morgan. I just couldn’t wait.”

“It’s fine Sis’.” Noah replied, “We were still up. What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“Y- yeah, nothings really…” She paused to look hesitantly at her husband, “Wrong. I, um, I need some advice.”

“You called me at 11:00 to ask for advice,” Noah deadpanned, “Yet you claim nothing’s wrong?”

Catalina grimaced, “It’s about Raymond.”

“What about him?” Asked Noah. “Is he gay or something?” He asked sarcastically, growing annoyed with all the beating around the bush.

A long silence stretched out across the line.

“Oh my gosh, Cat, did Raymond come out?” Noah gasped. He hasn’t been serious about his nephew being gay, it had just been snark brought on by annoyance. Noah and Morgan had always been very close with their niece and nephews. Raymond had always been quiet and a bit closed in, which made him harder to get close to than Sebastian or Evalyn, but it didn’t change the fact that the two men genuinely cared for him.

After another short silence, Catalina replied.

“No- well, yes. But not as gay. He- she- Ray said that he thinks he’s transgender.”

Now it was Noah’s turn to be speechless. After a moment, Catalina heard him whispering something. Presumably to Morgan.

“Noah?” She asked, probing for her brother’s presence.

“Yeah, I’m here Cat.” Her brother quickly replied. “Do you mind if I put you on speaker phone? Morgan is with me.”

“That’s a good idea.” Catalina replied, “Jameson is here so I’ll do the same.”

“Hey Catalina, Hey Jameson.” Morgan’s voice greeted them though the phone.

“Hello Morgan.” Catalina and Jameson replied together, Jameson adding a quick hello to Noah as well.

“So,” Morgan continued, “Can you give us more information? How did this come up?”

The story quickly came out. Catalina and Jameson each took turns sharing what they knew. Noah and Morgan listened in silence. As it was late in the evening for one of the two parties, only the relevant information was shared.

“So,” Noah began slowly, “You said you wanted advice? What can we do? Ask away.”

“Absolutely.” Morgan agreed immediately.

“Well, first,” Catalina began hesitantly, “Do you think it’s possible… Do you think it’s possible that this is just a phase?”

There was another long silence.

Finally, Morgan answered, “Neither of us are professionals, so you should really talk to a psychologist. But I won’t lie to you, that IS a possibility. Some people do go through phases like that. From what you’ve said however, I don’t think that’s the case. The way- what name does she prefer?”

“R- Rayne.” Jameson replied after a moments hesitation.

“Okay.” Morgan continued, “The way Rayne described how she feels to you. A lot of our transgender friends and acquaintances in the LGBTQ community have described how they felt before transitioning in a similar manner.”

“But she said she THINKS she’s transgender, not that she is.” Catalina argued weakly.

“Cat, Rayne is probably really confused right now.” Noah explained, “I know I was when I first realized I was more attracted to men than women, and that was just my sexual preference. Rayne is rethinking her whole life. Her whole EXISTENCE. It’s confusing, and it’s scary as hell.”

There was another long silence as Catalina and Jameson digested Noah’s words.

“What should we do?” Catalina finally asked.

“Be there for her.” Noah answered without a moment of hesitation. “Whether it’s a phase, or who she really is, Rayne is still your child. More than anything else it’s important that you be there for her. Bring her to a psychologist. One who has experience with transgendered people, preferably with transgender youth.”

“Rayne’s been talking to the student counselor at school.” Jameson said, “We’re going to see her on Monday, and potentially a specialist in the near future.”

“Good.” Morgan chipped in, “That’s a good start. But we cannot stress this enough. You need to be supportive of her no matter what. There’s some truly terrifying statistics on transgender youth – and people in general – that you should look up. None of us want Rayne to go through anything like that.”

Catalina and Jameson looked at each other worriedly.

“We will as soon as we hang up.” Jameson assured them.

“Good.” Noah said firmly, “We’ll let you go now, but if either of you ever need to talk – or have any questions – our line is always open.” Morgan voiced his agreement a moment later.

“Thank you so much guys,” Jameson began, “Sorry again for bothering you so late, but I’m sure you know how Catalina gets, eh Noah?”

“Hey!” Catalina objected.

Laughter could be heard from the other end of the line.

“Oh, I know all to well.”

After a few more words of goodbye, both parties hung up. Noah and Morgan to finish their movie, Jameson and Catalina to do some research on the newest development in their life.
 

~o~O~o~
 
A knock came on the door.

“Wake up sleepy head.” A voice called out, “Mom wants to leave in an hour.”

Rayne opened her eyes, memories of the previous day rushing back to her. She wondered briefly if it had all been a dream, a wonderful perfect dream.

“Didja hear me Rayne?” Evalyn’s voice called out again.

Definitely not a dream. Rayne’s lip quivered and her heart soared once again.

“Yeahp!” She called back happily, “I’m up!”

She crawled out of bed, glancing at her alarm clock for the time. 11:00. Wow. She must have been really tired last night. She stood up and walked to the door, pausing to listen for footsteps. Hearing none, she peeked into the hall. Seeing no one, she slipped into the hall – still wearing just her nightie – and quickly but quietly walked to the bathroom.

She was reaching for the doorknob when the door opened. She froze.

Sebastian stepped out, ruffling a towel through his short hair. He froze.

They both stared at each other for a long moment. Rayne’s face slowly changing shade to a bright red.

Sebastian coughed and pointedly looked away. Slipping past his new sister, who still stood frozen in the hall, to step into his own room.

“Morning Rayne.” He called back nonchalantly, pretending he hadn’t just seen the person he had regarded as his brother for 14 years in very feminine pajamas.

“Morning.” Rayne managed to squeak before quickly slipping into the washroom.

After closing and locking the door behind her, she leaned back against the door and took a deep breath. She didn’t know why she been so embarrassed in the first place. Sebastian had seen her in girl’s clothes for most of the day yesterday and it didn’t bother her, and it wasn’t like her night gown was skimpy and revealing, on the contrary it was the exact opposite. It started just below her neckline, and ended at her knees. Hell, she could probably get away with wearing it as a dress.

Much calmer, she got in the shower and went about her usual morning routine. Once satisfied that she was clean, she picked up her towel to return to her room to get dressed. Initially, she wrapped it around her waist, like she always had before. Then a thought struck her. Whenever she had seen Evalyn or their mother step out of the washroom in just a towel, they had worn it around their chest, with a second towel around their waist if necessary. If she was going to be presenting as a girl around the family, she might as well do it right. She raised the towel to her armpits and wrapped it as best she could. Scooping up her night gown from where she had discarded it on the floor, Rayne exited the washroom.

And ran right into Evalyn.

“Morning Eva.” She greeted, determined not to freeze like she had with Sebastian.

“Good morning Rayne.” Her sister returned, taking a long look at the toweled form of her sister. She couldn’t help but be amused at her sister’s modesty. Rayne had always been self conscious of her body, but the whole family had seen Rayne’s chest fairly regularly throughout her life. Nothing had changed about it – at least not yet – and yet she was covering up like any teenage girl would.

Rayne noticed the small smirk on her sister’s face and reddened again, deducing the reason behind it.

“Shut up.” She said light heartedly, stepping into her room.

“All I said was good morning my dear little sister.” Evalyn replied, emphasizing the word little to Rayne’s embarrassment.

Rayne just giggled and shook her head, taking the subtle reference to her flat chest as the good-natured teasing it was.

Back in her room, Rayne finished rubbing herself dry. Discarding the towel and donning her lingerie, she went to inspect her small wardrobe. Her options were very limited. Rayne really only owned three outfits, and she had worn two of them in the last two days. The only item remaining was the blue dress she had worn to the very first showing. Rayne shrugged and slipped it on. She slowly regarded herself in the mirror on her dresser.

Hmm. She really needed to learn makeup. Can’t always go crying to Evalyn for help, right? She made a mental note to look up some tutorials when they got home. Wait, no. Scratch that. She had no internet access for a month except for school work. Eh, not a big deal. She had no doubt that Evalyn would be willing to give her a tutorial.

Returning to the task at hand, Rayne ran a brush through her hair again, ensuring it was free of tangles. She frowned. Styling her hair was something else she would need to learn. Raymond had always just brushed it and left it at that. After losing weight he’d occasionally wear it in a ponytail or a braid when Evalyn encourage (forced) him too. Rayne had grown to love braids, but she had no clue how Evalyn did it. Yet another thing to learn.

Then there were her mannerisms and body language. Raymond had never been the most masculine guy, but surely – after 14 years as a guy – the way he held himself would be more masculine than feminine. Something Rayne would have to fix.

Rayne groaned.

There was just so much to learn.

Rayne shook her head. Now wasn’t the time. She still had to have breakfast – probably lunch at this point – and finish getting ready. She left her room and descended down to the kitchen. The whole family was there, each doing their own thing. Her father sat at the table with his laptop, but he looked up when she walked in. He regarded her for a long moment before turning back to his computer. Evalyn and their mother with standing at the counter, engaged in an intense conversation. It sounded like it was about shopping. Plans for the day maybe? Catalina, like her husband, stopped what she was doing to take in the sight that was Rayne. She blinked twice, then turned back to Evalyn.

Suddenly Rayne was anxious. Had they looked at her funny? They totally looked at her funny. Oh God, why did they look at her funny?

“Hey squirt.” Sebastian greeted her from where he stood at the stove, frying some eggs and bacon. Sebastian, like their parents, seemed to stare a moment longer than he usually would.

She stepped back out of the kitchen and turned for the stairs. She had to change. If her family was looking at her like that, they people at the mall would surely laugh.

“I made you breakf- hey!” Her brother called out, “Where ya going?!”

He quickly caught up to her and grabbed her hand.

Rayne bit her lip and looked at the floor.

“C’mon, what’s wrong?” he asked, “You need to get going don’t ya? So, lets figure this out.”

At this point the rest of the family had come out into the hall and were standing around looking concerned.

Rayne gave a heavy sigh before replying.

“I look ridiculous.”

Sebastian pressed his lips together and squinted his eyes.

“Whaaaaaat? Not at all. What would make you think that?”

Rayne giggled at the face he made, but quickly looked down at her feet.

“Wh- when I walked into the kitchen you, Mom, and Dad all gave me weird looks.”

“Ahhh, I see.” Sebastian mused.

“Oh sweetie, that’s not why we looked at you that way.” His mother said gently, “You look very pretty.”

“Then why?” Rayne asked, still not quite believing them.

They all looked at each other.

Jameson cleared his throat, “Well, I was just thinking about how pretty you are, and wondering how we had never noticed before.”

Catalina nodded, “I was thinking along the same lines.”

Sebastian chuckled, “For me, it was just the first time I ever saw you wearing a dress. You’ve always been a bit of a tomboy.” He winked at her, causing her to giggle.

“So, I really look okay?” Rayne asked, feeling better.

“More than okay.” Catalina confirmed, “You just need to understand Rayne, that it might take us a little bit to get used to this. It’s a big change for us too, and while we will always be there for you, it will take some getting used to for all of us.”

Rayne nodded. It was fair. More than fair actually. She had heard horror stories of families nowhere near as accepting as hers.

“Now.” Sebastian said, clapping his hands together, “Come and eat. Before it get’s cold, and before Mom leaves without you.”

Rayne giggled, “How can she leave without me when we’re shopping for me?”

Catalina raised an eyebrow, “Oh, I can and I will, young lady. I’ll just have to pick out what you’re wearing myself. And I’ll make sure to pick out the frilliest, pinkest, most over-the-top embarrassing outfit I can find.”

Rayne’s jaw dropped.

“You wouldn’t!” She gasped, “Evalyn wouldn’t let you!”

Evalyn nodded and joined the conversation for the first time, “You’re right li’l sis’. I wouldn’t let her. Instead we’d pick out the skimpiest, most revealing outfit we could find.”

“That’s even worse.” Rayne groaned and rushed into the kitchen to eat.

The whole family laughed, and soon resumed their respective activities. The girls getting ready for their day shopping, the guys doing whatever guys tend to do on a Sunday morning.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The van pulled into the mall parking lot. They had made the hour drive to Mountsview. Not to avoid familiar faces this time, but because Mountsview simply had more variety.

“Lakewood’s pathetic mall will never do.” Evalyn had adamantly declared as they left. Catalina had chuckled, but didn’t dispute the fact. She had already been driving out of town when Evalyn made the declaration.

Together, the three of them exited the van and headed into the mall.

“It just seems odd to me that we’d drive all this way for just one outfit.” Rayne said, returning to the earlier conversation.

“Who said anything about just one outfit?” Evalyn protested, “I mean, we came because you needed a new one, but do you really think after coming all this way we’ll just get one?”

Rayne looked at their mother. “Really Mom?”

Catalina just smirked and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t going to say anything. You’re supposed to be grounded after all, but I suppose Evalyn has a point.”

Rayne didn’t know what to say. She could tell her Mom wasn’t telling the full truth. She had planned this all along.

Her heart soared as they walked though the doors.

“So, what kind of outfit is suitable for this event?” Their mother asked as they took up a leisurely stroll past the various stores. She looked at Rayne expectantly.

Rayne just shrugged, wide-eyed.

“I thought you two would know. You’re a bit more, ah, experienced with… all of this than I am.”

Evalyn giggled and their mother smirked.

“So, you’re saying that the two of us DO get to pick out what you wear.” Catalina said slyly.

“W- well, when you put it that way, uh, I guess so.” Rayne stammered, suddenly anxious. “But I get the final say!”

Evalyn laughed.

“C’mon now Sis’. Really?” She asked with raised eyebrows, “We BOTH know you’ll bow to MY whims. I’LL have the REAL final say.” Evalyn threw her hair back sassily and briskly walked ahead.

“N- no you won’t!” Rayne called after her, quickly jogging to catch up.

Catalina laughed. As much as Rayne might object, Evalyn had always been able to talk her into a corner. Or at least she always could to Raymond. Somehow, Catalina doubted Rayne would be anymore resilient to Evalyn’s verbal maneuvering than Raymond was.

She hurried to catch up to her children… Her daughters. They were standing by one of the mall fountains waiting for her.

“Seriously, though.” Rayne began once they were reunited, “Where should we go? What’s the plan?”

Catalina smiled, “Relax sweetie. We have all day. So, tell us, what do YOU want to wear?”

Rayne shrugged shyly. “I dunno.”

Evalyn wasn’t having it. “Oh yes you do. Now spill.”

Rayne blushed, eliciting a giggle from their mother.

“Be gentle Eva.” Catalina admonished her daughter. Evalyn just rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “Now Rayne,” Catalina continued softly, “Do you have something in mind?”

Rayne shrugged again, “Not really, well, I mean kinda, but it’s just, like, I dunno, a guideline I guess?” She met her mother’s eyes for a moment, blushing at her rambling, before looking at her feet.

“Guidelines are good.” Catalina encouraged, “They’ll help me and your sister to pick something out-

“Your sister and I.” Rayne corrected, trying – and failing – to supress a grin.

Catalina playfully swatted Rayne’s arm.

“Fine. They’ll help your sister and I to pick something out for you. So, what were you thinking?”

Rayne nodded, finding her courage with her mother’s encouragement.

“Well, whatever I wear, it’s really important to me that it’s...” She paused, looking for the right words, “modest. I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing anything that showed to much skin.”

As if on cue, a pair of teenage girls walked past. They were wearing micro-miniskirts and tops with rather low necklines.

Catalina nodded understandingly. “Nothing too revealing. Okay. But do you really think your mother would pick anything revealing for her little girl in the first place?”

Rayne blushed, but her heart felt warm and gooey at the comment. Her mother had just called Rayne her little girl.

“I suppose that’s true.” Rayne agreed.

Catalina nodded. “So, anything else? Is there a dress code?”

Rayne thought for a moment.

“Well, Berny said that the showings were business casual. But he also said that as artists, we have some leeway, and are free to be creative. Business Casual was just meant to be a guideline too I guess. There’s also going to be a dinner though, he said that that would be a bit fancier.”

Catalina nodded thoughtfully, “Business casual, nothing too revealing. Very doable. Maybe a nice dress for the dinner. Do you have any other thoughts? Or should we get going?”

Rayne nodded. “We can get going. I suppose the only other thing is that whatever we get, I want it to be me. I don’t want to wear something just for the sake of looking good, or proper. I’ve spent far too long trying to do that.”

“Something that’s ‘you’, huh?” Catalina said, “That might be more challenging.”

Rayne looked up at her mother worriedly.

“I don’t know much about what’s ‘you’, Rayne.” Her mother explained, “So I suppose we’ll just have to try on everything in the mall until we figure out what’s ‘you’.”

Rayne giggled.

“That sounds like fun!” Evalyn piped up as they began to walk.

“So, what kind of clothes do you like to wear so far Rayne?” Catalina asked.

Rayne rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Well, I haven’t experimented much, but the outfit I wore yesterday is probably my favorite so far. I also really like dresses and skirts, but short skirts make me uncomfortable. I’d also like to try more colorful stuff.”

Evalyn nodded, “Yeah, shorter skirts might take some getting used to, but they can be really freeing.”

Rayne shrugged. Maybe she would give them a try when she was more confident.

Catalina stopped.

“How about we take a look in here?” She suggested, gesturing to the store they were about to pass.

“Oh, good idea Mom.” Evalyn agreed, “I know I always find nice things in Aritzia. Maybe Rayne will have some luck there too!”

“Sure.” Rayne agreed with a shrug. She had never been in Aritzia before, but she knew Evalyn shopped there often.

“Okay, just remember Evalyn, we’re shopping for Rayne. Not you.” Catalina reminded her eldest daughter.

Evalyn rolled her eyes, Rayne giggled.

Into the store they went, Evalyn taking off immediately to run her practiced eye through the various shelves and hangers. Rayne stuck close to their mother, looking at whatever caught her eye.

“Oh, how about this Rayne?” Her mother asked, turning to her to hold up a skirt.

It was a longer, bright red, pleated skirt with faint floral prints done in various shades of reds and pinks. By the looks of it, it would likely come down to just above Rayne’s ankles. She reached out to feel it. It was soft. Softer than she was expecting. She had thought that the pleats would cause it to feel stiff, or rough, but she was pleasantly surprised. Raymond had always favored cold colors over warm colors – and so far, Rayne had felt much the same – but she couldn’t deny how much she loved the colors used here, and she had just said she wanted to try more colors.”

“I- I really like it.” She said taking it from her mom to hold it to her waist.

“So do I.” Catalina agreed. “Why don’t we set it in the maybe pile for now, and when we have more you can go try them all on. Does that sound good?”

Rayne smiled and nodded.

“What’d ya find?” Evalyn asked as she rejoined them, arms filled with various articles of clothing.

Catalina raised an eyebrow. Rayne’s eyes went wide and she held a hand to her mouth.

“A nice skirt.” Rayne answered, “But what I want to know is how, in the time it took us to find a skirt, you seem to have picked through the whole store?”

Evalyn winked at her before replying in her best wise old man voice, “You have much to learn in the ways of the mall crawler, young grasshopper.”

Catalina shook her head at Evalyn’s antics, but couldn’t hide her amusement.

“Well, let’s take a look then, shall we?” Catalina suggested, “How much of this is for you, and how much is for your sister?”

“Oh, come now Mother.” Evalyn said indignantly, “I know we’re shopping for Rayne. All of it’s for her.”

“All of it?” Catalina asked sceptically.

“All of it.” Evalyn declared, then paused for a moment before continuing, “Except for maybe one or two things.”

Catalina just stared at her.

“Okay, fine, three things.” Evalyn said, exasperated. “What do you expect though? You suggested, like, my favorite store.”

Rayne giggled.

“I expected,” Catalina began sternly, “For you to have grabbed at least four things for yourself. I’m impressed.”

Evalyn opened her mouth and held up a finger to make her retort, then her mouth slowly closed, and her finger curled back down into balled fist. She pursed her lips. Few people could verbally out maneuver Evalyn, but Catalina was a lawyer. Catalina was where Evalyn got her quick wit, and she had several years of experience on her daughter as well.

Rayne burst into laughter. She would be hard pressed to find anyone else who could get that kind of reaction from Evalyn.

Catalina’s laughter joined Rayne’s. Evalyn just smiled and rolled her eyes.

Finally, once they had regained their composure, they began to look through Evalyn’s finds. Evalyn started by pulling out the few articles she had found for herself, pausing only to mumble, “I was lying. There were four things for me.” To which Catalina just snorted. After that the three of them went through the pile of things for Rayne, one by one. For each article of clothing, Catalina and Evalyn would give their thoughts and opinions, Rayne would tell them what she thought, and then it would either go into the maybe pile with the red skirt, or into the reject pile.

Soon, Catalina and Evalyn were ushering Rayne into the changing rooms. She started with the red skirt and a top Evalyn had chosen. She went out to show her family. She was sent back in with a different top. That top was then matched with some jeans, which were in turn matched with another top. And so she went, in and out, in and out, trying on various combinations to see what worked and what did not. Who knew clothes shopping could be so exhausting? Finally, all three of them were satisfied. A few more articles had been added to the reject pile, but they were happy with how everything else fitted and looked.

They headed to the checkout with three skirts – Her mother and sister even convinced her to get a shorter one – a pair of jeans, two pairs of pants, a very nice dress for the dinner, two more casual dresses, two blouses, two t-shirts, several pairs of socks, a few pairs of tights, another pair of leggings, and finally a few more lingerie sets. Evalyn went first, having decided to purchase three of the four items she had found. Evalyn frowned briefly at the amount due, but pulled out her debit card and quickly paid.

Rayne was up next. She loaded all of her purchases on the counter, and watched as the teller rang them up one by one. As each item flashed across the total display, her heart sunk lower and lower. There was no way she could afford this! It was more than she had in all of her meager savings. Much more. Rayne bit her lip, desperately trying to figure out how she could tell the lady she couldn’t afford it without embarrassing herself.

Rayne was still panicking when her mother stepped in front of her and pulled out her credit card, pausing only to glance at Rayne with a bemused smile on her face. She paid for the entire purchase before Rayne could say a word. Catalina asked for a receipt, and swept up the bags.

Evalyn rolled her eyes and looked at Rayne. “Lucky brat.” She teased, sticking out her tongue.

Catalina just smiled as they walked out of the store. Rayne didn’t know what to say. She was just confused. Her parents had always been adamant that the kids bought their own things. The moment they were old enough to take an interest in making their own clothing choices, their parents said they were old enough to pay for them themselves too. Rayne had always just assumed that meeting all of the wants for three teenagers was too expensive. There were a few exceptions of course, such as birthdays, or holidays like Christmas, but today was neither of those.

“Where to next?” Catalina asked, drawing Rayne from her inner thoughts. “I know we were planning to hit a few places, but I think that’s enough clothes for now.”

“In that case,” Evalyn began, “The next thing is obviously SHOES.”

Catalina rolled her eyes.

“How did I know you were going to say that?” she asked, to which Evalyn just chortled.

It didn’t take long for Rayne to get back in the swing of things, browsing the huge selection of shoes with her mother and sister. Just as she did the last time she went shopping with Evalyn, Rayne tried to refuse heels. Unfortunately, she could not stand up to the combined – for once – might of her mother and sister. They insisted that not only was it something she would need to learn eventually, but they she would love them once she was comfortable walking in them. “You’ll thank us for this eventually!” They had said.

Soon they had her trying on numerous heels of varying heights and styles. For the most part, Rayne had the final say, as long as that say was not exclusively made up of ‘no’s. After selecting a few pairs of heels, they moved onto running shoes and sandals, followed by boots and flats. When all was said and done, Rayne’s mind was whirling. She had probably spent more time shopping for shoes in the last hour than Raymond had in his entire life. And yet they only had a few pairs. There was so much to consider with woman’s shoes. When Raymond had gone shoe shopping all that had matter was if they fit, and if they were comfortable. In and out. Five minutes flat. Shopping with Evalyn and their mother on the other hand, there was a lot more to it. Do they fit? Do they look good? Which outfits will they go well with? Which won’t they? Did Rayne like them? And a whole host of other questions, before even considering if they were comfortable! That was all before she even glanced at the price tag – something she was too afraid to do after the first pair.

They finally headed to the checkout with five shoe boxes for Rayne. Evalyn had several of her own too. Rayne had selected a pair each of runners, sandals, and flats, and two pairs of heels. Catalina insisted that this should give her suitable footwear for a wide variety of events, but Evalyn thought more was needed. Much more. Finally, they had come to a compromise. For each pair of shoes Evalyn put back on the shelf from her own purchases, Rayne could add another. Evalyn’s opinions on an acceptable number of shoes for her little sister quickly changed.

At this point it was getting late in the afternoon, and a unanimous decision was made to stop for a late lunch before doing a bit more shopping and heading home. At the food court, they briefly split up so each of them could get what they wanted before meeting up at an agreed upon area. When they sat back down, Evalyn and Catalina began chattering away, discussing where they should go next. Rayne’s mind, on the other hand, slowly drifted off into her own thoughts. Contemplating the amount her mother had spent on her that day, and for what possible reason. Could they even afford all of that? Was she going to have to figure out some way to pay her mother back? What would her father say?

*snap* *snap*

Rayne popped out of her contemplations to her mother snapping her fingers in front of her face.

“Earth to Rayne.” Her mother called out dramatically, “Earth to Rayne. Can you read us?”

“Huh?” Rayne asked, suddenly aware that they had asked her a question.

Catalina and Evalyn chuckled as Rayne blushed.

“Now that I have your attention,” Catalina asked, “Tell me what has you so lost in thought.”

“Oh! Um, n- nothing really.” Rayne stammered, unsure how to ask say what had really been on her mind.

Catalina raised her eyes sceptically.

“Mmmmhmmmm.” she hummed, not breaking eye contact.

“O- okay fine.” Rayne mumbled, looking down at her food, “Y- you’ve always insisted th- that if one of us want’s something we b- buy it ourselves. S- so I was wondering if you can afford to be spending so much money on me?”

A long silence spread out between them. Rayne kept staring at her food.

“You’re so right.” Catalina said, finally breaking the silence.

Rayne looked up to see her mother leaning over to talk to Evalyn.

“That nervous stutter really is adorable.” She finished.

Evalyn and Catalina fell into a fit of giggles as Rayne’s face turned red and her jaw dropped.

“H- heeeey,” she whined, “I’m serious!”

“Oh sweetie.” Catalina began, smiling at her daughters pouting face, “You have nothing to be worried about.”

“R- really?” Rayne asked, still unsure.

“Rayne, you silly girl.” Her mother said light-heartedly, “I’m a successful, practicing lawyer. Your father is an architect for a major firm. Money hasn’t been an issue for us since before Seb was born. We’re lucky enough to be upper-middle class sweetie.”

Rayne’s brow scrunched up in confusion.

“Th- then why…” She trailed off, leaving her question unspoken.

“Why have we always made you pay for your own things?” Her mother finished for her. At Rayne’s befuddled nod, she continued, “To teach you responsibility, independence, and the value of hard work. If there was ever something you wanted, we always made sure there was an opportunity available for you to earn some money.”

Rayne thought back and realized it was true. Whenever Raymond had wanted a new game or book, his parents had always been happy to give him odd jobs around the house to earn a couple bucks. When Evalyn and Sebastian became old enough, they had gotten summer jobs to finance their expenses. Rayne likely would next summer too.

That brought Rayne to her next question.

“Then what was different about today?” She asked, “That was an awful lot of money for you to just spend on something I wanted. And why did you make Evalyn pay for her own stuff?”

Catalina nodded understandingly.

“The difference,” she began, “Was that today they weren’t just wants. They were also needs. You wanted new clothes, right? But beyond that, you, Rayne, NEEDED new clothes. A whole new wardrobe really. A new wardrobe goes far beyond what we – me and your father – would make you pay for by yourself. For Evalyn, she didn’t need what she wanted at all, she just wanted it. Therefore, she pays herself.”

Rayne slowly nodded in understanding. Then she stopped. She didn’t understand.

“B- but why?” She asked, lip trembling.

Catalina looked at her, uncomprehending.

“I just explained why.” She said, tilting her head.

“B- but,” Rayne began, voice barely above a whisper, “But I j- just came out to you y- yesterd- day. A week ago, I was- I was your son. And n- now your sp- spending over a- a- over a th- thousand dollars on clothes and shoes f- for me. Just like that? Why? How? How is it so easy for you to- to- to accept this?”

Tears were welling in Rayne’s eyes now, threatening to overflow.

Catalina was at her side in an instant.

“Oh my baby.” She said, drawing her daughter into her embrace, “I would be lying if I said it was easy to accept. Just last night I was praying this was just a phase. Some part of me still is.”

Rayne looked at her mother with confusion.

“What ch- changed?” She asked, still holding back the flood gates. She suddenly realized that her mother’s eyes were filling with tears as well.

“I talked with your Uncle Noah, and Uncle Morgan.” She began, “They opened my eyes. They told me and your father that whether this was a phase or not, all we could do was support you and be there for you. They told us we should look up some information and statistics on transgender youth.”

Tears were running down both mother and daughters face.

“What we read… it broke my heart.”

“The thought-

Catalina had to stop and take a deep breath before continuing.

“The thought of you going thought that. Through ANY of that. I couldn’t bear it. Son or daughter. Boy or girl. Raymond or Rayne. It doesn’t matter. I will be there for you. I will love you. I will support you. No matter-

Rayne threw her arms around her mother’s shoulders and sobbed. The two of them sat there for a long minute. Oblivious to the stares of the other shoppers. Evalyn just watched, trying to hold back tears of her own.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. Evalyn turned around to see a middle-aged woman with two small children of her own standing behind her. The woman wore an expression of concern, and the children were wide-eyed.

“Are they okay?” The woman asked, having gotten Evalyn’s attention. “Is there anything I can do? Or someone I can call maybe?”

Evalyn wiped away her own tears.

“No. No, thank you.” She quickly replied, “Everything’s just fine. Everything is going to be okay.”

---

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Hiya!

Flummox here.

Don't really have a lot to say this week, and surprisingly, there's nothing I feel the need to apologize for for once. :P

I've decided to stop getting so stressed out about typos. I'm still gonna do my best to catch them all, but I know I have some great readers out there who'll gently point out the ones I'll inevitably miss. ;D

If you feel like it, I would love to hear from you, whether that's in a comment or message form. I do try to reply to everything, although sometimes there's a bit of a delay. I'm not very diligent. :P

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Sincerely,

Flummy

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A Blank Page
Chapter 15
By Flummox

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Morgan sat down across from his husband – who was engrossed in some news article on his tablet – at the dinner table.

“Hey Noah?” He began.

“Yeah babe?” Noah asked, taking a drink of his wine.

“I’ve been thinking, why don’t we stay here for Christmas this year?”

Noah looked up from his tablet, “Where is this coming from? We always go visit your family for Christmas. You’ve always loathed the very idea of missing it.”

Morgan frowned, “Yeah, but I’ve been thinking a lot today.”

“’Bout what?” Noah asked, setting aside his tablet, “Must be something serious to make you consider sticking around for Christmas.

Morgan pursed his lips. “I’ve been thinking about our new niece. Rayne. Why don’t we invite Catalina and her family down for Christmas?”

A wide grin spread across Noah’s face. “That would be incredible. Are you sure though? I know how important Christmas is to you and your family.”

Morgan waved the comment away, “Yeah sure, it’s important. But our niece is more important than a holiday, right?”

Noah nodded, “Okay. I’ll get on the phone and ask them right after dinner. Geeze, how long has it been since Catalina was home for Christmas? 20 years or so I think?”
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Welcome home ladies” Jameson’s voice called from the kitchen.

“I hope you didn’t make anything.” Catalina called back, “We ate out.”

Jameson walked out to greet them. “I figured you would, me and Seb ordered a pizza. Did you girls have some luck-

He stopped when he saw the small pile of bags.

Rayne blushed and giggled.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He said, smiling with raised eyebrows.

“Why don’t you and your sister go upstairs and put your purchases away, Rayne.” He suggested, “I have something to talk to your mother about.”

Evalyn and Rayne looked at each other. Rayne shrugged and began to collect the bags.

“Kay Dad.” She said, “We’ll upstairs if you need us.”

“Okay Sweetheart.” He agreed, before stepping into the living room with their mother.

Evalyn grabbed the few remaining bags Rayne didn’t have hands for and followed her sister up to her room, where they dumped all the bags on to her bed.

Evalyn turned to face Rayne. She had a huge silly grin on her face.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Evalyn asked with a raised eyebrow.

Rayne giggled and blushed, “Dad called me sweetheart.”

Evalyn laughed.

“So?” she asked, “He calls me that all the time.”

“Evalyn, you don’t get it. Dad calls YOU sweetheart.” Rayne explained, “Before today, if he used a nickname for me, it was always ‘buddy’, or ‘champ’, or something along those lines.”

Evalyn slowly nodded in understanding.

“I get it now,” Evalyn said, “I take things like that for granted. I’ve had that kind of relationship with Dad my whole life, it didn’t even occur to me how much little things like that could mean to you.”

Rayne blushed and looked away.

“Yeah.” She said quietly, “They really do. When Mom called me her little girl earlier this afternoon I almost melted.”

Evalyn smiled. “That’s so sweet.”

Rayne blushed brighter.

“Anyways,” She said, changing the topic, “Lets get all of this put away. How should we do this? Have some drawers for Raymond’s stuff and some for mine?”

“A lot of your new clothes can go in your closet.” Evalyn said, “You never really used it for clothes before, right?”

“That’s true.” Rayne agreed, putting a finger to her chin. She walked over to her closet and pulled it open. There were a few boxes inside, but not much else. It didn’t take long for them to get those cleared out.

“So how are you feeling about your appointment with Ms. Reid tomorrow?” Evalyn asked as they went about putting the clothes away.

“What do you mean?” Rayne asked.

“Well Mom and Dad are going with you, right?” Evalyn pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess I’m a bit nervous.” Rayne admitted.

“What do you have to be nervous about?” Evalyn asked, “Isn’t the worst part over? It’s out in the open to the family.”

“I suppose.” Rayne acknowledged with a shake of her head, “But now we have to make a plan for what comes next.”

“Well,” Evalyn said matter-of-factly, “What do you WANT to happen next?”

They worked in silence for a moment while Rayne considered the question.

She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at her big sister.

“I want to be me. To live as me. To live as Rayne.”

Evalyn nodded. “Just tell them that, and make a plan for that.”

Rayne nodded.

A knock came on the door before anything else could be said.

“Come in.” Rayne called out.

Sebastian stuck his head in.

“Hey, how was shopping?” He asked.

“So much fun!” Rayne gushed, “It was amazing!”

Sebastian chuckled, “That’s good. Anyways, Mom and Dad have asked us all to come see them in the living room.”

“Okay Seb,” Evalyn agreed, “We were just finishing up here, we’ll be right down.”

“Sounds good.” Sebastian agreed before closing the door as he left.

They spent another minute to finish what they were doing before heading downstairs.

Their parents and Sebastian were already seated. Sebastian was sprawled out on the love seat, their parents sitting together on the sofa. Evalyn quickly grabbed the armchair for herself, leaving Rayne to sit between their parents.

“What’s up?” Evalyn asked as she sat down.

Catalina and Jameson looked at each other.

“Well, how would you all feel about the family going away for Christmas this year?” Jameson asked.

“Going away?” Evalyn asked, “Going away where? And Why? We’ve always spent Christmas here. With Grandpa and Grandma and the whole family.”

“Your Uncle Noah and Uncle Morgan called while we were out.” Catalina explained, “They invited us to spend Christmas with them and the rest of my family back in Nova Scotia. We told them we would discuss it as a family before making a decision.”

“That seems really out of the blue.” Sebastian said. Rayne nodded. She thought she recalled something about her uncles always being busy for Christmas.

“Well,” Jameson began to explain, turning to look at Rayne, “We spoke to them last night to tell them about you.”

“Yeah, Mom mentioned something about that while we were out.” Rayne acknowledged. In hind sight, she couldn’t deny that she was slightly annoyed that they had told someone. People should find out when she was comfortable with them knowing. At the time, she had just been too emotional to bring it up. Ah well, what’s done is done. Besides, if there was anyone she was okay with knowing, it was probably Uncle Noah and Uncle Morgan. She would bring it up with the family later.

Jameson nodded, “They think it would be nice to meet you. On top of that, they thought it would be good for you to be able to spend some time somewhere where you could just be you. Somewhere where you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone’s judgement or scorn, and could just have fun. We also just haven’t been out to see your mother’s family for a couple of years now.”

Rayne nodded slowly. That would be nice. It would actually be amazing.

“I think I’d like that.” She said, “I’d actually really like that.”

“Alright.” Jameson nodded, “Any objections?”

He looked around, no one said anything. Sebastian shook his head, Evalyn and Catalina just smiled.

“Then it’s settled.” Jameson announced, “The Danahys are going to Yarmouth for Christmas.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
The evening flew by, Rayne and Evalyn spent a while longer organizing her new clothes. It was hardly a complete wardrobe, but it was definitely a start. She had so many options now, it was incredible. She said as much to Evalyn, but her older sister just chuckled and said it wouldn’t be long until it felt like everything she had was old and boring. Rayne felt like that would never happen. Evalyn also insisted that certain items – such as her intimates – should be washed before she wear them. A load of laundry later and they were finished.

It wasn’t much later when Rayne crashed. It had been one hell of a long day – A long weekend for that matter! So much had happened. So much was shared. She felt the best that she could ever remember feeling. And tomorrow she had to go back to being Raymond. Boring, uncomfortable, awkward, lonely, Raymond. With all the ugly, boring, yucky boy clothes. At least now she wouldn’t have to wait a whole week. She would just have to get through a few hours of classes. When she got home, it would be right back to being herself. Being Rayne.
 

~o~O~o~
 
She woke up early the next morning. Before her alarm even went off in fact. She went to the washroom, having no competition with her being up so early, and went through her morning routine. Finishing, she returned to her room. There she solemnly doffed her true identity, and donned the disguise that was Raymond. The irony of the situation was not lost to her. What had started out as a disguise to hide her true identity had become a truer identity than she had ever before known, whereas the identity she once sought to protect was now a disguise. A husk she could not quite break free of.

She descended to the kitchen to prepare herself breakfast. She settled on a big bowl of cereal. She had never really been big on eggs. She’d eat them if someone made them, but she didn’t like them enough to make them herself. Nothing beat a big ol’ bowl of breakfast soup first thing in the morning though.

She chowed down, acknowledging her siblings with a nod as each of them joined her.

“Good morning Eva,” Their father greeted, coming down the stairs, “Morning Seb. Morning Ra- um…”

He hesitated. Clearly unsure what to call her when she was dressed as Raymond.

“You can just go back to calling me Ray or Raymond when I’m dressed as Raymond.” She said, bailing her father out.

“Good morning Ray.” He finished, smiling sadly.

“It’s just for a few hours Ray.” Eva said. Clearly Rayne had been unable to keep her own disappointment at being Raymond again out of her voice. Although she wasn’t really Raymond, was she? It was just a mask. One she had to wear for now.

Rayne nodded.

“Good morning Brood.” Catalina said cheerfully ash she walked into the kitchen. She took note of Rayne, glumly sitting in her prison. She frowned.

“Everything okay?” She asked.

“Yeah Mom.” Rayne replied, “Just gotta get through a few hours, right?”

“It might be hard, but I’m sure you can do it.” She smiled grimly, “And your father and I will meet you there at lunch for our meeting with Ms. Reid, right?”

That brought a smile To Rayne’s face. They could make a plan to get her to see a specialist. And a plan to move forward. To live as Rayne.

“Yup!” She agreed, a bit of cheer returning to her voice.

“Alright,” Evalyn said, standing up, “We should get going then.”

Rayne nodded and stood. She brought her dishes to the sink, collected her school things, then headed for the door. Evalyn led them out to her car.

“So, you ready for today?” Evalyn asked her as she started the engine.

“Yeah sure.” Rayne replied, slightly confused, “Why do you ask?”

“Well, uh,” Evalyn began hesitantly, “You’ve kinda been talking in, um, Rayne’s voice all morning. You’ve never done that… well… dressed as Raymond before.”

“Oh!” Understanding dawned on Rayne’s face. “I didn’t even real-

“I didn’t even realize.” She said again, making an effort to speak in Raymond’s voice. This was going to be a pain. After using it all weekend, Rayne’s voice just felt so much more natural. It would be really awkward if she accidentally slipped into Rayne’s voice at school. She didn’t talk to many people at school so hopefully it wouldn’t be an issue.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Raymond stepped out of the vehicle. He silently reprimanded himself. He had gotten out of the vehicle the way Evalyn had taught Rayne to weeks ago. He had gotten out like a girl. He had to get this right. The last thing he needed was more people giving him a hard time at school. No one had tried to mess with him since Sebastian had practically attacked Greg in the first week of school. Things had been going well for weeks now. Too long. The assholes only ever seemed to leave him alone long enough to get comfortable. He was expecting something any day now. Any day now, someone would forget about the lesson Sebastian had given Greg and try something. It would happen. It always happened. To make things worse, Mr. McMan’s suspension was due to end this week. Starting next week, he would be back. Oh God. How was he going to deal with that?! Ugh.

“You okay Ray?” Evalyn asked, drawing him from the inner turmoil.

“Y- Yeah.” He replied, making a conscious effort to use the right voice. He took a deep breath and started towards the main doors before any further questions could be asked.

His sister looked like she wanted to say more, but she took his hint and silently followed him though the doors.

He walked quickly to his locker, nodding a quick greeting to the few students who acknowledged him. The initial interest his classmates had had in him had died down after the first two weeks or so. He had tried to be polite and sociable, but it just didn’t seem to go anywhere. The guys who had tried to befriend him had tried to do so through sports. They would ask him what he sports he liked, he would stare back blankly. They would invite him to play over lunch, he would politely decline. Eventually they stopped asking. A few of the girls had tried to befriend him too, or at least he thought that was their intention. Until Sebastian informed him that they were flirting with him.

Things were slowly returning to normal with him being mostly ignored. Several people actually acknowledged his existence now at least, even if they weren’t friends. He couldn’t help but feel like he had blown his second chance to have a social life at school.

He sighed heavily with relief. He had made it to homeroom without incident. Mr. Michaelson smiled and nodded to him in greeting. Ray nodded back with a smile of his own, albeit a very small one. He took his seat and waited for the day’s announcement to begin. As it was Monday, the morning announcements would be more than just information. There would be a singing of the national anthem, followed by – since this was a catholic school – a morning prayer, asking God to help them with their studies, to keep them healthy, yada yada yada. Finally, only after all of that, he would be on his way to his first class.

Raymond didn’t get it. He never had. All the praying, the worship. His father’s side of the family had always been believers, that was why his siblings and he had always been in the catholic school system. Thankfully his father and mother weren’t devout followers of the church – he felt like things might be going much worse at home if they were – but they were believers. His grandparents had insisted that the kids be baptized and attend a catholic school. His father hadn’t disputed the subject as he had been through the same going up. Catalina’s family had never been particularly religious, so she didn’t see why it was a big deal, but she didn’t see the point in getting into a fight over it either. So, she had gone along with it, always telling the kids that it was important to their grandparents that they have a catholic education, but if they grow up to believe in something completely different that was fine too.

Raymond had never figured out what he believed in. Rayne hadn’t been around long enough to either.

Raymond moved his lips to follow along in the prayer and the national anthem, but he wasn’t paying attention. There was too much on his mind. He just wanted the day to be over. Finally, they were dismissed. He gathered up his belongings and headed to class.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The morning classes passed by much the same as homeroom. Raymond tried to focus and pay attention, tried to take notes, but his mind just kept wandering elsewhere. He began to grow anxious and restless. He took to doodling in his notepad in an attempt to calm his nerves and refocus his wandering mind. It helped a bit.

Finally. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the lunch bell rang.

Raymond’s parents met him at the front office.

“Hey sweetie.” His mom greeted as he walked.

“Hi Mom, Hi Dad.”

“So, you ready squirt?” His father asked as they began walking towards Ms. Reid’s office.

“I sure hope so.” He answered nervously. What if what his parents wanted to happen was different than what he wanted to happen?

“Everything will go just fine.” Catalina replied, trying to sooth his nerves.

They spent the remainder of the talk discussing how his classes were going. He told them the truth, that they had been going very well, but he had been very distracted all morning. They nodded in understanding. Soon they arrived at their destination.

Raymond knocked on Ms. Reid’s door.

“Come on in!” Her voice called out.

They let themselves in.

“Good afternoon Ms. Reid.” Raymond greeted.

“Good afternoon Raymond,” Ms. Reid returned, she was staring intently at a piece of paper, but, sensing the presence of multiple people, looked up suddenly.

“Oh. Hello, I wasn’t aware anyone was going to be joining us today.” She looked at Raymond, a silent question being asked by her raised eyebrow.

“Ms. Reid, I’d like you to meet my parents,” He gestured with his hand to each of his parents in turn, “This is my Mom and Dad.” He then turned his hand to the student counsellor, “Mom, Dad, this is Ms. Reid.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Reid.” His father greeted, “We hear you’ve really been helping our b- child.” He caught his near mistake at the absolute last second, avoiding the word ‘boy’. Raymond blushed lightly and looked at his feet.

Hands were shaken.

“It’s good to finally meet you as well, Mr. and Mrs. Danahy.” Ms. Reid returned before turning to look at Raymond, “I take it everything went according to plan?”

“Well, uh, no, not really.” Raymond answered, remembering the turmoil that was Friday night and Saturday morning, “But they do know everything.”

“Okay. That’s great, although I’ll have you to elaborate on that in a moment.” She replied, confused by what he meant, “But I trust their presence here means that they’re supportive?”

Raymond smiled and nodded.

“Alright, well then,” She turned to look back at his parents, “Why don’t I find some more chairs, then we can begin?”

After a collective nod Ms. Reid weaved through the cluster of bodies and went on a short, successful quest for chairs. After she returned, everyone got settled. Ms. Reid behind her desk, Raymond sitting opposite, Catalina and Jameson seated on either side of him.

“So,” Ms. Reid began, “Why don’t we start with how things went, and why the plan didn’t work?”

“Sure.” Raymond began, before glancing at each of his parents, “Well, uh, Friday night. When I got home, my Dad and Seb were still home. Except it wasn’t me getting home. It was Rayne.”

“Oh.” Was all Ms. Reid said.

Raymond pursed his lips and nodded before continuing, “Yeeeah, so that was awkward. I ran to my room and hid until Evalyn got home, then she joined me in my room and I hid for the rest of the night. The next morning when I got up, we waited until Mom got home, then had a family meeting. After that, things mostly went according to the plan, and I told them everything.”

“Even the stuff that could get you in trouble?” Ms. Reid asked.

“Even the stuff that DID get me in trouble.” Raymond replied dramatically, drawing chuckles from the whole group.

“Alright, so now that everyone’s on the same page it’s time to discuss how to move forward.” Ms. Reid said, looking at each of them meaningfully.

“Frankly,” she continued, addressing Catalina and Jameson, “I’m not properly equipped to help Raymond as much as I would like. I don’t have the knowledge or the experience for this situation, but I know someone who does. I would highly recommend that you go see my colleague in Vancouver, Bill Mathews. Bill is a psychologist with – probably unrivaled in the province – experience with transgendered people, but beyond that, he has made the health, care, and wellbeing of transgendered youth his personal mission in life.”

Raymond nodded slowly. It made sense to see him. But Rayne wanted to move forward. Not spend all of her time with psychologists.

“That sounds like the right thing to do.” Catalina spoke up, nodding confidently, “When do you think we could see him?”

Ms. Reid smiled, “I was hoping you’d say that. I actually got in touch with him after our planning session on Friday. He doesn’t officially work on weekends, instead running casual drop-in based sessions on Saturdays for anyone who desperately needs to see someone for their mental health. I told him about Raymond’s situation – keeping Ray anonymous of course – and he agreed to make an exception for you. He said he’d be willing to make an appointment for you for this coming Saturday. You just need to say the word, and I’ll schedule an official appointment with him.”

“Saturday?” Jameson asked, “That’s awfully soon.”

Ms. Reid nodded, “It is, but sooner is better. Much better. There’s often very long waiting lists to see gender specialists in Canada. Especially in a city as big as Vancouver.”

Catalina and Jameson shared a look. Each of them slowly nodded, before turning back to Ms. Reid.

“Okay.” Catalina agreed. “You make the appointment, we’ll be there.”

Ms. Reid nodded, “Consider it done.”

“I think that covers the important subjects of today’s meeting. If there’s no objections, why don’t we end early today?”

Jameson and Catalina started to nod. Raymond, on the other hand, refused to let it end this way.

“W- wait!” She interrupted, suddenly Rayne once more. A girl dressed as a boy. “I have an objection!”

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at her.

“I- I don’t want to be Raymond anymore.” She said, before she lost her nerve.

“That’s what the point of this meeting is dear.” Catalina said, bewildered by the sudden outburst.

“No, th- that’s not what I mean. I don’t want to be Raymond at all. I want to be Rayne all the time. I’ve been miserable and distracted all morning.”

The adults all seemed to be at a loss for words.

Finally, Ms. Reid found her voice.

“Raymond, I understand, but the next step is still to see Dr. Mathews.” She explained, “He’ll be able to help you move forward.”

“But why?” Rayne asked, “You’re the school counselor here. Not him. Can’t you help me move forward?”

“Raymond.” Jameson interjected, “I know you’re in a rush, but things are already moving very fast. Now you need to be patient.”

“Your father is exactly right.” Ms. Reid agreed immediately. “Changing how you present at school isn’t a simple matter of coming to school as Rayne. There’s a lot that goes into it.”

Rayne collapsed back into her chair. Defeated. For now.

The meeting broke up then. Ms. Reid giving a final confirmation that she would schedule the appointment for Saturday and email them the details. Catalina and Jameson thanked her for her help and advice, said their goodbyes to Ms. Reid and Raymond, and headed home. Rayne just went to find a place to quickly eat before class resumed.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Raymond arrived home from school and wasted no time transforming back into Rayne. Only once she had done so did she feel like she could finally relax. The second half of the day had been as difficult of the first. She was less distracted, but more depressed. Why couldn’t she feel like she did now all the time? It wasn’t fair. She collapsed onto her bed with a heavy sigh. Sebastian would be home soon. Rayne could really use some fresh air and a run. The thought made her hesitate. She had gotten workout clothes when they were shopping on Sunday, but running was something Raymond had always done with Sebastian. Would Sebastian still want to run with Rayne? They hadn’t spent any time just the two of them since she had told him everything.

She sat up. It couldn’t hurt to ask.

She stripped out of the blouse and skirt she had just put on, and instead grabbed the capri style leggings and baggy t-shirt that her mother and sister had said would be good for running. She also grabbed the woman’s running shoes they had picked out.

After quickly pulling on the outfit and tying her hair in a ponytail, she descended to the front door to await her brother’s arrival.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Have a good night bro,” Sebastian called to his friend, “see ya tomorrow!”

He threw his car back into drive. Sebastian and three of his friends drove together to school and back every day. They took turns driving, and today was Sebastian’s turn. Now it was just him and Jackson. Jackson had asked him if he could be dropped off last today.

“So, what’s up?” Sebastian asked, knowing there must be a reason for the odd request.

“Well, uh, I was wondering,” Jackson began slowly. Hesitantly.

“Did you ever find out who that Rayne girl is?” He asked, “Is she your sister’s girlfriend like we thought?”

Right. That. He had confronted Evalyn about her suspicious behavior on Friday. And he had done it right in front of Jackson.

“Yeah, I found out.” He replied slowly, trying to figure out what to say.

A long silence stretched out between them.

“Well?” Jackson asked, pressuring Sebastian for a reply.

“She’s not my sister’s girlfriend.” Sebastian stated, “Evalyn is still heterosexual.”

“Okay cool.” Jackson nodded, “So who is she then?”

“Who’s who?” Sebastian asked, desperately stalling to try and figure out an answer.

“C’mon man, Rayne! Who is she?” Jackson asked again, growing exasperated.

“She’s, uh,” Sebastian paused and pretended to be too focused on driving to reply. Shit. What had Evalyn said?

“She’s, uh, our cousin.” Sebastian claimed, remembering the lie Evalyn had originally told him.

“Your cousin?” Jackson asked flatly, “You told me, in no uncertain terms, that you had no cousins name Rayne. In fact, you told me that you didn’t know anyone named Rayne at all.”

Shit. He had said that, hadn’t he? He pulled up in front of his friend’s house.

“Gimme a break man. I made a mistake.” Sebastian lamely defended himself, “You know how big my family is.”

“Yeeeaah,” Jackson drawled, “I also know how close you are with your family, and that you would never completely forget the existence of an entire person.”

Sebastian grimaced. Jackson was one of his best friends, and knew a lot about him. What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell him the truth. This wasn’t Sebastian’s truth to tell. At least not without Rayne’s explicit permission.

A long silenced stretched between them.

“Whatever man.” Jackson said, clearly unhappy, “I thought we trusted each other, but if you feel like you gotta lie to me then…” he lifted his hands up in frustration, “Then you just do you.”

Jackson got out of the vehicle then, standing up and closing the door without so much as a ‘goodbye’.

“Fuck.” Sebastian cursed aloud.

He got out of the vehicle.

“Jackson!” He called out, “Wait a second man!”

His friend turned back to look at him expectantly.

“Look man, I’m sorry I lied to you.” He said, shaking his head at his own actions, “Your right, our friendship is above that. I DO trust you.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?” Jackson asked, his voice edged with frustration.

“I want to tell you.” Sebastian said adamantly, “I do. It’s something I actually really need to talk to someone about. But it’s not my secret to share.”

Jackson just stared at him. “She’s just a girl man.”

“No.” Sebastian shook his head, “This situation is more complicated than you can possibly know. There’s no ‘just’ about it, and to tell you would be to breach the trust of someone I deeply, deeply care about.”

He let that sink in for a moment.

“So, you’d rather break my trust than hers?” Jackson asked. Damnit. His voice had gone from pissed off to hurt.

“Dude.” Sebastian groaned, “It’s not that simple. Look, I may trust you, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t even know you. She knows me. She trusts me. I will tell you everything as soon as I can. Hell – if you’re both okay with it, when the time comes I’ll introduce you to her myself. But I need you to be patient.”

Jackson sighed heavily and slowly nodded.

“Okay, yeah sure.” He looked at the ground, then back up to his friend, “Sorry man. I overreacted.”

“No worries dude. I should have told you straight up to begin with.” Sebastian said, sighing with relief. “See ya tomorrow?”

Jackson nodded. “Yeah man. Have a good night.”

He climbed back into his vehicle. He had promised Rayne he would be there for her no matter what, and he intended to be, but he couldn’t deny that he was conflicted about her coming out.

Raymond had been his only brother. They may not have had much in common, but they had still been brothers. Now he was suddenly gone, and Rayne had appeared from nowhere. But how could he talk to his family about this? They all seemed to be doubtless in their support.

He sighed as he opened the door.

He went to take off his shoes and stopped in his tracks. The exact person he had been thinking of stood before him.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“H- hi!” Rayne said. She licked her lips and nervously looked down at her feet.

“Uh, hey Rayne. What’s up Sis’?” Sebastian asked as he removed his shoes and sat down his school bag.

“Um, w- well, I was just, uh, just wondering if you’d like to go for a run?” She asked hesitantly, before hastily continuing, “With, um, me.”

Sebastian stopped what he was doing. He took a brief look at the outfit she was wearing, which caused Rayne to do the same. While undeniably feminine, it would be fine for a run. She was wearing mostly black leggings that ended just below her knees, the trim around the legs was a colorful butterfly print. She also wore a loose grey t-shirt that left one shoulder exposed. The t-shirt had been Evalyn’s pick. Rayne had vehemently refused at first, claiming it was much too revealing. Catalina had laughed and pointed out that it showed one shoulder and could hardly be considered revealing. She had purchased it, saying that Rayne wouldn’t have to wear it if she didn’t want to, but that it would be fine for running.

Rayne bit her lip, suddenly feeling ridiculous. She opened her mouth to take back what she had said, but Sebastian spoke before she could.

“Yeah. Sure.” He said with a nod, “I think a run is just what I need right now. Give me 10 minutes to get ready.”

Rayne nodded, “O- okay. I’ll wait outside.”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She quickly pulled on her new running shoes, and after tying them up, stepped out the doors.

It was a cloudy day. Rayne took another slow, deep breath. She spent a long moment savoring the taste of the fresh air, the feeling of cold air rushing into her lungs. After slowly exhaling she began her stretches. Making sure her body was loose and limber for the coming exertion. The door opened and closed again behind her.

“You ready?” Sebastian asked as he approached where she sat on the lawn.

“Yup!” Rayne said happily, “Just doing my stretches.”

Sebastian nodded and began to do the same.

“We just gonna do the usual route?” Sebastian asked. Their usual route went around the community and though various residential areas before returning to the house. It took about an hour, varying slightly based of their pace on any given day.

Rayne blushed lightly, “Umm, well, I was thinking we’d do something a bit different if that’s okay?”

“Not quite comfortable running through heavily populated areas as Rayne yet?” Sebastian guessed.

Rayne bit her lip and nodded.

“You have somewhere in mind?” Sebastian asked.

Rayne nodded again.

After a few more stretches Sebastian turned to her and nodded. “Lead away then.”

Rayne took a deep breath and started away, setting an easy pace to get them warmed up.

“So how was your day?” She asked as they jogged lightly.

“Eh, it was okay.” Sebastian answered, “How about yourself? How did your appointment go with Ms. Reid?”

“It was fine,” Rayne answered, leading them towards the treeline that would lead to the lake, “I have an appointment to see the gender specialist on Saturday.”

“That’s great Rayne.” Sebastian answered, he didn’t sound very enthusiastic though.

They picked up the pace for the last block before the treeline. Both focused on breathing rather than talking. When they passed beneath the first tress they slowed again to an easy jog. It would be too easy to trip and wipe out if they went any faster here.

“Um,” Rayne began, breathing deeply, “How are you, uh, taking all of this?”

All she heard from her brother for the next several seconds was the sound of his breathing.

“It’s, uh,” he finally began, hesitating, “it’s a bit… challenging.”

Rayne nodded, but her heart sank.

“Don’t get me wrong Sis’.” Sebastian quickly said, “I still love and support you, but I’ve thought of you as my brother for your whole life. Before you born even, I was excited to have a little brother. We never had a whole lot in common, but it’s still hard to just hit a switch and think of you as my sister.”

Rayne nodded. She couldn’t fault him for that, it was hardly surprising.

“I understand.” She said, “I know your trying though, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

Sebastian chuckled, “I wouldn’t be a good brother if I didn’t at least try.”

“There’s a lot of brothers who wouldn’t even be willing to try.” Rayne said quietly.

They ran in silence until they broke free of the trees at the edge of the lake. There was a paved pathway around much of the lake that would make for much easier running. They paused for a moment to catch their breath.

“So, are you looking forward to going away for Christmas?” Sebastian asked as they stood by the lake.

“Eh, I guess.” Rayne replied, “It’s still too far away to really get me hyped up.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian agreed, “I know what you mean, but it’s only two months. It’ll fly by.”

“I suppose. I’m more concerned with making it though school.”

“Why is that?” Sebastian asked suspiciously, turning to look at her, “Is someone giving you a hard time at school again? Because you just say the wo-

Rayne laughed. He was so overprotective. She wouldn’t change it for the world.

“No Seb. Nothing like that.”

“Then what?” he asked, brow wrinkling in confusion.

She shrugged, “I dunno. I guess, now that you guys have accepted me I just don’t want to be Raymond any more. Class was almost unbearable today. I was so distracted.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, “So you want to start going to school as Rayne?”

Rayne frowned. “Well, I do. But I don’t. I wanna be me, but I’m afraid of how people will react. Of how they’ll treat me.”

“They’ll treat you like they should.” Sebastian answered, an edge slipping into his voice, “Or they’ll deal with me. And probably Eva too. God knows she’s adored by 90% of the student body – and faculty for that matter.”

Rayne giggled. “Yeah, she’s really the school sweetheart, isn’t she?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes and nodded.

“But still,” Rayne continued, “I won’t always have you guys to fight my battles for me. I’ll have to deal with confrontation by myself eventually.”

Sebastian pursed his lips. “Eventually? Sure. Soon? I hope not.”

Rayne smiled. “Even so, Mom and Dad made it pretty clear that the next step was seeing this gender specialist. I doubt I’ll be going to school as Rayne anytime soon. Maybe not at all.”

“Why not at all?” Sebastian asked.

“Mom, Dad, and this psychologist will probably just agree that I’m better off finishing school as Raymond. It would probably be easier for the whole family.”

“Except for you.” Sebastian pointed out.

“Maybe.” Rayne nodded, “But not everything’s about me.”

Before he could say another word, Rayne turned and threw herself back into a run along the path.

“Hey!” Sebastian called, turning to run after her.

She laughed and ran faster, making him work to catch up. Which he did of course. It didn’t even take him that long. He was right next to her. A smirk plastered on his face. She pushed harder. So did he. He pulled ahead. She strained to catch up but he just pulled further away.

“Okay, okay.” She called out, slowing back down to an easy jog. “You win.”

He laughed and slowed to match her pace. “You’ve really improved though.”

She didn’t reply, instead focusing on catching her breath.

“So, uh, can I ask you something?” He said hesitantly.

“Of course.” She replied breathlessly, still focused on her breathing.

“Do you remember my friend Jackson?”

Jackson. That was the one who she and Evalyn had encountered on the football field on the day of the first showing. She hadn’t really seen him since then. She remembered him calling her cute though. Just the thought of it made her blush.

“Yep. Why?” She asked shortly.

“Um, well, he wants to meet you. Not Raymond you, but, like, you you. You as in Rayne you.”

“W- why?” She asked nervously.

“I thiiiiiink he has a crush on you.” Sebastian replied slowly.

“What?!”

Rayne’s body froze up. She stumbled. She tried to recover. She failed. She wiped out.

“Woah!” Sebastian stopped as fast as he could, he turned around and ran back to her.

“Are you okay Rayne?” He asked as he reached her prone form.

She groaned, rolled over, and sat up.

“What did you tell him?!” She demanded, oblivious to her own position.

“Hey, relax.” Sebastian replied, holding his hands up defensively. “I didn’t tell him anything. I wouldn’t tell anyone anything about you without your explicit permission. Now are you okay?”

Rayne sighed heavily and tried to climb to her feet. She grimaced and hopped on one foot.

“I think I twisted my ankle.” She replied before changing the topic back, “What did he say that makes you think that?”

“Just sit down.” Sebastian said, letting her lean on his shoulder as he led her to a bench on the side of the path. After she was seated he kneeled down to look at her ankle.

“He’s been asking about you for weeks.”

“Weeks?!” Rayne replied, exasperated.

“Yeah, ever since he first saw you on the football field.” Sebastian replied, “Why does this have you so shocked? Are the feelings mutual?”

“Seeeeb.” Rayne pouted, blushing. She couldn’t deny that Jackson was handsome, but she was dealing with too much in her own life to even think about that right now.

“Is that a yes?” He asked, looking up from what he was doing. “C’mon, let’s get you back to the house. We should get this on ice.”

Rayne pursed her lips and nodded. He helped her to her feet and she began to limp back towards the house, using her brother as a crutch. A very awkward crutch as he was quite a bit taller than her.

They had gone maybe ten steps when Sebastian asked, “So you didn’t answer my question. IS that a yes?”

Rayne huffed. “Give me a break Seb. I don’t know.”

He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, “You don’t know? Isn’t that kind of simple? It’s a yes or no question.”

Rayne frowned. “No. It’s not simple. I don’t even know if I like guys or girls or what. I have too much going on right now to even think about it.”

She blushed furiously, realizing what she had just said. Sebastian didn’t seem to notice.

He just furrowed his brow. “Well didn’t you ever think about it before? As Raymond?”

Rayne puffed out her cheeks. “It’s hard to explain. When I was Raymond, yeah sure I was interested in girls, but in hindsight I can’t figure out if I was interested in being with them or just interested in being them.”

Sebastian chuckled, “Man, nothings simple with you.”

Rayne rolled her eyes. “I’d push you in the lake but I’d fall in too.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Oh, my goodness!” Catalina exclaimed when they walked through the door. “What happened?”

Sebastian eased Rayne down to sit on the stairs as Catalina rushed over.

“Nothing too serious Mom.” Rayne said, waving her hand as if she could wave away her mother’s concern, “I just tripped on our run. Seb had to help me back.”

“Well obviously it IS something serious if you can’t put any weight on it.” Her mother argued as she inspected Rayne’s swelling ankle. “Sebastian, grab an ice pack from the-

She turned around to look at Sebastian. He stood behind her, an ice pack already in hand and offered out to her.

“Let’s get you to the couch.” She decided, gesturing to Sebastian to help Rayne move again. He rolled his eyes.

“You’re overreacting, Mom.” He declared, but helped his sister anyways. Soon she was reclined on the couch, ankle resting on a bag of ice. Catalina and Sebastian joined her in the living room, and the news was put on the tv. Rayne wasn’t really paying attention. She was actually beginning to doze off. Beginning to? She was gone.

Jameson and Evalyn came home half an hour later with takeout. Rayne didn’t wake to eat, or even stir for the rest of the night. Finally, it became obvious that she was done for the day, and Jameson carried her to bed.

---

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Hiya!

Flummox here~

Nothing really to say other than thanks so much for reading!

If you feel like it, I'd love to hear from you, whether that's in a comment or a message.

Hope everyone's having a great week!

Flummox

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A Blank Page
Chapter 16
By Flummox

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Rayne woke up early the next morning. She stared at the roof of her bedroom. How did she get here? She vaguely remembered the previous night. Running with Sebastian. Wiping out. Dozing off on the couch. Her dad carrying her to her room.

She sat up and looked at the clock. 6:23 am. Wow. She was up really early. She didn’t have to leave for school for over two hours. Well, it never hurt to get an early start. She threw off the blankets and set her feet on the floor.

She groaned when she saw what she was wearing. She was in her night gown. She didn’t remember changing. Did her Dad change her clothes for her? That would be really embarrassing. Super embarrassing. She turned a bright pink just thinking about it. Oh well. Nothing she could do now. She slowly stood up, testing her injured ankle. She clenched her teeth. It was still tender, she certainly wouldn’t be going running for a few days. Just walking was a challenge, but she could manage it.

She crept down the hall to the washroom, went through her usual morning routine, then returned to her room. She slowly walked over to her dresser and pulled out some of Raymond’s clothes. Just four more days and she could go back to being herself. She still had a lot of time though, so there was no need to imprison herself just yet. She threw the disguise on her bed and went to the closet. Smiling, she picked out a dress.

After dressing as herself, she sat down at her desk. Might as well do something productive, especially considering she didn’t get any studying done the night before. She opened her school bag from where she had tossed it on the floor the night before, pulled out some books and began to study.

About an hour and a half later a knock came on the door.

“You awake Rayne?” Her sister’s voice called out.

She jumped to her feet – Hissed at the pain that shot through her ankle – and hobble rushed to the door. Throwing it open, she grabbed her sister’s hand and pulled her inside, closing the door again behind her.

“Woah, well that clearly answers that.” Evalyn replied sleepily, “What’s got you in such a tizzy?”

“Last night.” Rayne began, then stopped and looked away.

“Last night?” Evalyn prompted.

“Um, last night, I uh… I don’t remember changing.” She blushed and looked at the floor.

Evalyn giggled, “Don’t worry. Dad didn’t strip you if that’s what you were thinking.”

Rayne sighed with relief, eliciting another giggle from Evalyn, which in turn caused Rayne to go a shade brighter.

“Dad carried you to your room.” Evalyn explained, “I followed him and managed to get you to wake up just long enough to change. I’m not surprised you don’t remember, you were pretty beat.”

Rayne nodded, “Okay thanks. I just, uh, needed to know how embarrassed I should be when I go downstairs.”

Evalyn laughed. “No worries, sis’. I’ll meet ya downstairs. I think Seb made eggs and bacon.”

“I’ll be right down.”

Evalyn departed, and Rayne finished getting ready. She packed up her bag, donned her disguise, and descended to the kitchen.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The morning passed by smoothly. Evalyn and Raymond drove to school together – as usual – and the first few classes went by easily. Raymond actually managed to focus. Maybe it was because there was less on his mind than the day before.

The bell rang, signalling lunch, and Raymond packed up his materials. He stopped by his locker to drop off his books and grab his lunch. He quickly walked towards the art room. After the second showing it had become customary for him to eat lunch outside the art room with Ryan and Cynthia. Some days one or both of them were busy, other days they were with other friends – they had invited him to join them with those friends, but he wasn’t really comfortable tagging along with people he didn’t know. On days like that he would either eat alone, or Ms. Mira would invite him to eat with her in the art room. Today Ryan and Cynthia were waiting for him.

When he walked around the corner they both jumped up. Cynthia started shaking her head furiously, whereas Ryan bit his lip and began to look back and forth between Raymond and… something inside the art room. Raymond furrowed his brow. That was weird. He kept walking, only for Cynthia to shake her head with even more fervor and begin to wave her hand at him, signalling for him to turn around. He stopped. He was close enough now that he could hear voices from inside the art room.

“It’s complicated.” He heard Ms. Mira say.

“I understand, but that’s not-

The familiar voice paused, and Cynthia glanced into the room before immediately stopping what she was doing. Ryan’s eyes went wide, and Cynthia’s jaw dropped and twisted into a look of total horror. A moment later a man stepped out into the hall, just ten feet in front of Raymond.

Raymond looked at the man, and the man stared back, confusion clear on his face.

“Berny?” Rayne’s voice slipped through Raymond’s lips.

Berny stood in front of her, the confusion shifting to absolute bewilderment at an unknown boy knowing his name. The bewilderment shifted to recognition at the sound of the voice, before finally finishing on realization.

Rayne’s hand slapped over her mouth as she realized the voice she had used.

“Rayne?” Berny asked after a moment.

Rayne’s eyes widened in fear. She quickly looked around to see who was in earshot.

Berny clicked his tongue as Ms. Mira appeared behind him.

“That would explain some things.” The old man said, rubbing his chin.

Ms. Mira, seeing Rayne, grimaced.

“Sorry Ray,” she apologized, “I tried, but…” She trailed off.

“Rayne,” Berny began to say something, but stopped as Rayne looked around worriedly.

“Perhaps it would be better to continue this conversation inside my room?” Ms. Mira suggested, also taking note of Rayne’s growing panic.

“I think that would be wise.” Berny agreed, waving for Rayne to join them.

Woodenly, Rayne limped past him into the art room, wishing she had followed Cynthia’s signals. Cynthia tried to follow them into the room, but Ms. Mira closed the door on her. The three of them walked to and sat down at one of the art tables usually used by the students.

“W- Why are you here?” Rayne asked stiffly, heart frozen by the unexpected encounter.

“We were going over some paperwork for the event,” Berny explained, “And I happened to notice that there was no ‘Rayne Danahy’ registered with not just your school district, but with any school district in the province. It’s surprising no one noticed before now.”

Rayne looked at her feet, unable to meet the man’s eyes.

“I was in town today,” Berny went on to explain, “And I thought I would stop by to clear things up. I thought it must be a simple mistake. Perhaps your name was spelt wrong in our files. I’m beginning to think that’s not the case, is it?”

Rayne’s lip trembled. “N- no sir. It’s not a m- mistake.” She forced herself to look at him. “M- my name isn’t R- Rayne. It’s R-

Tears started running down her cheeks.

“It’s Raymond.” She managed to choke out. It hurt to say it. It felt like a lie, but as far as the world was concerned, it was the truth.

Berny nodded silently.

“I’m so, so sorry for lying to you.” She stressed, making a vain attempt to wipe away her tears, “I’ll withdraw from the event right away.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” Berny asked immediately.

Rayne just stared at him.

“Rayne.” Berny said slowly, “I’m an old man, so please forgive me and correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re transgender. Correct?”

Rayne blushed and gave a small nod, again unable to meet his eyes.

“My dear,” he said softly, “The arts community is hardly going to fault you for that. You have worked so hard to make it into the gallery. You are very talented, and it would be a tragedy for you to drop out now.”

Rayne looked up hesitantly, “R- Really?” She asked between sniffles.

“Some of the greatest artists of the century were LGBTQ.” Berny said adamantly. “And their work spreads across many mediums and disciplines.”

Rayne’s listened silently, completely rapt by what she was hearing.

“David Hockney! Andy Warhol! Zackary Drucker! Annie Leibovitz! George Takei! Catherine Opie! Zanele Muholi! Film, photography, painting, drawing, dance, music, theatre. There are celebrated masters in all of these fields who identify as some aspect of LGBTQ.”

“Is that true?” Rayne asked, turning to look at her teacher. Ms. Mira nodded.

“Damn right it’s true.” Berny said insistently, “I’ve met some of these people. Count them as my friends.”

“Wait, really?” Now it was Ms. Mira’s turn to be surprised. She looked to the old man. “You’ve met some of them? I don’t recognize all the names, but some…”

Berny chuckled. “I’m an old man Mira, and I’ve been working in the arts for a long, long time. I’ve been around.”

“I wasn’t doubting you Berny.” She said with a small chuckle, “I’m just impressed. David Hockney and Andy Warhol are world famous.”

“Yeah! And I don’t think there’s a single person in the school who wouldn’t know George Takei’s name!” Rayne chipped in with a sniffle, tears momentarily forgotten, “And in art class last year we did an entire project based off of Andy Warhol and his work!”

Berny smiled sadly, “Yes, he was a great man. Gone much too early.”

“You knew him?!” Ms. Mira asked excitedly.

Berny nodded, “Not well, I was a much younger man when I knew him. I was much more cynical at the time, and I had a much more traditional view on what art should be. Andy Warhol, as I’m sure you both know, was a revolutionary. He was one of the founding fathers of pop art, a form of art that challenged the traditions I was so bound to at the time. I realized my foolishness before he passed, but I never had another chance to meet him.”

There was a moment of silence.

“S- so, um, who else do you know?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

Berny smiled at her. “Enough listening to an old man reminisce. I can tell stories later. We need to talk about you, young lady.”

Rayne blushed.

“So, as I was saying before my tangent,” Berny continued with a smile, “Your orientation is not much of an issue. I would have preferred you told the truth from the beginning, but I get the impression this is largely still a secret.”

Rayne gave a small nod.

“May I ask who does know?” He asked gently.

“Well, uh, you now of course.” Rayne glanced from Berny to Ms. Mira and back again, “At school there’s Ms. Mira, Ms. Reid – that’s the student councillor – and the two students outside.”

“Ryan and Cynthia if I recall.” Berny provided.

Rayne nodded, “Yeah, then there’s one friend of mine from outside of school, and, uh, after this past weekend, my immediate family too.”

“You told your family Rayne?!” Ms. Mira asked eagerly, “That’s great! How did it go?”

“Really well.” She replied softly. “Not according to plan at all, but really well regardless. They’re all super supportive.”

“That’s wonderful.” Berny said, “I must apologize for my earlier… insensitivity. I was taken off guard and didn’t think. I hope this doesn’t cause you any problems.”

His earlier insensitivity? Oh. He was referring to calling her by her name in the halls.

“It’s okay Berny.” Rayne said lightly, “You didn’t know. And like you said, you were taken off guard. Besides, earlier I lied when I said my real name was Raymond. My real name IS Rayne.” She couldn’t stop the smile from creeping across her face.

Berny chuckled, “Well in that case I guess you never lied to begin with!”

Rayne looked at him, confused.

“The art gallery never asked for your gender.” Berny explained with a big smile, “We only asked for your name, school, and some of your work. If your real name is Rayne than you were telling the truth. We assumed your gender. We just assumed wrong.”

Rayne laughed freely.

“Now, on a serious note.” Berny continued, “This will not impede you moving forward with the gallery. Unfortunately, because you are underage, we will need to adjust your records to show your legal name – no matter how false it might be.”

Rayne pursed her lips, then replied, “Who, um, who all would, uh, know?”

Berny nodded in understanding, “It’s not something we would shout from the rooftops if that’s what you mean. All of your work would still be labeled ‘Rayne Danahy’. The only people who would know would be the people who need to know, people with administrative duties. Those who have access to the files would have the ability to find out, but only if they took the time to look it up. People with such access is limited to the judges, and those with a direct professional link to the Mountsview art gallery.”

“A professional link?” Rayne asked.

“Yes, let me elaborate.” Berny continued, “These would be people within such organizations as the Canadian Artists’ Representation, the National Gallery of Canada, the Canadian Council for the Arts, the National Arts Centre, and so on.”

Rayne hesitated. “Th- that’s, uh, a lot of- of organizations.”

Berny nodded, “Yes, it is. But keep in mind, all of the organizations I just listed are national organizations.”

“Why… would n- national organizations be interested in m- me?” She asked nervously.

Berny smiled, “I mean no offense when I say this. But that’s exactly my point. You’re a high school student whose only recognition was in an art event based in a small town. They wouldn’t be interested. Not yet at least.”

Rayne sighed with relief.

“The most you would have to be concerned with is the Vancouver Art Gallery, with whom the Mountsview gallery is closely associated. Even that is highly unlikely however.” Berny finished.

Rayne nodded and grinned, “Cuz I’m just a small time, small town, high school girl who likes to play with paints and crayons, right?”

Berny chuckled. “Correct, although I’d hardly call your work ‘playing with paints’. So, if all of your concerns have been addressed shall I go ahead filing those changes?”

Rayne hesitated for another moment before nodding and quickly adding, “But only if you tell us some more stories.”

Berny laughed, “It would be my pleasure. Perhaps Ryan and Cynthia would like to join us?”

Rayne grinned and hobbled to the door. She opened it and waved her friends in.

At the insistence of everyone present, Rayne explained why she was limping. After that, the remainder of lunch was spent being regaled with the many stories of Berny’s history in art. Stories of the people he had met, the places he had been, and the art he had seen. All too soon it was time for class to begin, and Berny, Ryan, and Cynthia departed. Art class slipped by much too fast, and soon Rayne was sitting down in her next class. Religious studies.

Rayne didn’t mind Religion class. She might not agree with everything that was said there, but she didn’t always pay attention either. Religion class was simple enough that she could get away with barely listening, in fact, she often spent the class doodling in her sketch book. She was still in Rayne mode too, but she wasn’t worried. As long as she didn’t speak – and she usually didn’t in religion – everything would be fine. So, she sat down and began to draw. Soon class began and the instructor, Mrs. Cimonie, began to teach. Rayne made sure to glance up at the instructor every now and again, to try and give the impression of an interested student, but her sketchbook was the main focus of her attention.

Class continued easily for some time. It was beginning to wind down, and many students were packing up. Mrs. Cimonie walked to the door and picked up a small cardboard box by the entrance. It was the question box. It was a cardboard box that had been painted white with a big cross on the front. On the top of the lid was a small slit. The idea was that students could submit questions anonymously, and at the end of the class Mrs. Cimonie would address them. It provided students with an outlet for any questions they were too shy or embarrassed to ask personally or in front of the class. It was most commonly used during the period of the year when students were also taking sex ed., but there were occasionally questions during the rest of the year as well.

“Ah, I see a question in the question box today!” Mrs. Cimonie stated happily. She picked up and unfolded the piece of paper. After clearing her throat, she began to read.

“Yesterday I was walking past Ms. Reid’s office after lunch and I overheard a conversation she was having on the phone. I heard her talking about a student who was struggling with gender issues, and might be transgender.”

Rayne paled. She froze. Her chest tightened. That could only be her. She had had an appointment with Ms. Reid during lunch. Who else could it be?

Mrs. Cimonie continued reading, “My question is how does that work with Christianity and the Catholic Church?”

She paused for a long moment. Rayne could barely breathe. She forced herself to move. To continue packing her bag to avoid looking suspicious.

“Well.” Mrs. Cimonie began, putting one hand on her hip, “That’s a tough question, but I think all of you are mature enough. The transgender crisis is certainly a tragedy. Those, um, people need our prayers. They’re not natural.”

Rayne clenched her jaw. She closed her eyes and focused on staying calm.

“They have something evil inside of them, that leads to their urges to dress and act as they shouldn’t. When they go through with making changes to their bodies, to mutilating themselves, they are embracing that evil and letting Satan take over. The way you are now is how God created you. It is how God intended you to be.”

Rayne’s lip trembled. She was struggling to hold back tears. She had to force herself not to run. If she ran or cried everyone would know. She wanted to puke.

“If anyone here is the person Ms. Reid was talking about, or if you think you might know that person.”

She looked around dramatically.

“Then I would urge you to see – or to urge this person to see – a priest. Regardless of whether you know them or not, I would also implore you to pray for these wretched souls, that they find the light and rejoin us on the righteous path. We’ll end class there for today. Have a good night.”

Rayne held herself in place. Rooted to her chair. If she stood she’d run. She needed to be calm. Normal. She waited for most of the students to leave. Pretending to be focused on something on her phone. Finally, once most everyone was gone, she left. She forced herself to move at a normal pace, at least until she was out the door. Then she bolted for her locker, ignoring her protesting ankle. She grabbed her bag and stuffed her books inside, then swiftly ducked out one of the school’s side doors. She avoided the front doors as it would mean passing the office, where the secretary would inevitably ask her why she was leaving with two classes left in the day.

Once outside she began to walk. She also began to cry. But right now, she just needed to get home. Where people didn’t hate her. Where they didn’t think she was evil or possessed.

She had only made it a quarter of the way when the pain in her ankle began to overwhelm the panic. She kept going, trying to push past the pain, but soon she found herself limping heavily. She sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, tears still streaming down her face – now as much from physical pain as emotional pain. She pulled out her phone. Sebastian and Evalyn would still be in class, her Mom still at work. If she was lucky her Dad would be home. She found his contact and pressed call.

It rang, and rang some more. Finally, she heard her father’s voice. His voicemail. She hung up without leaving a message. She let out one big sob and pushed herself to her feet. She continued to slowly limp down the street.

She had gone maybe ten feet when her phone rang. She glanced at the screen. Hey eyes were too watery to see who it was. She answered it.

“H- h- hello?” She asked, trying to keep the sobs out of her voice.

“Rayne?!” It was her Dad. “Are you okay?!”

“Daaaaddy,” she wailed, overjoyed to hear his voice. She collapsed back on to the sidewalk. “C- c- can you come g- get me?”

“Baby, calm down.” He said, worry lacing his voice. “Are you at school?”

“N- no. I’m…” She looked around, she had to wipe the tears from her eyes and adjust her glasses to get her bearings. “I’m j- just by the- by the corner store. Near the lake. P- please come get me. I’m s- I’m sorry Dad.”

“Rayne, sweetie, calm down. I’ll be right there okay? I’m at the office, but don’t move, and I’ll be right there.”

They hung up. Rayne covered her face with her hands. If her dad was at the office than that meant it would be a 20-minute drive. But it was okay. He was coming.

A few minutes passed. She managed to dry her tears for the most part. She was still sniffling, and the tears still threatened to overflow at any moment, but at least she wasn’t bawling her head off.

“Uh, hey.” A voice called out.

Rayne’s head whipped around.

Standing a few feet down the sidewalk was a slightly overweight, middle aged man. Rayne recognized him as the owner of the corner store. She and her siblings frequented the place during the summer.

“You’re, uh,” He snapped his fingers in the air a few times, looking for her name, “Raymond! That’s it. You’re Raymond, right? Jameson and Catalina’s youngest.”

Rayne nodded jerkily. Even if only half the statement was true. She was Jameson and Catalina’s youngest, but she was NOT Raymond.

“Is, uh, is everything okay kid?” He asked hesitantly.

She wanted to say yes, to get him to leave, but she couldn’t talk right now. Her lip trembled. She gave a small nod.

“Okay, well, uh, whatever you’re waiting for, do you wanna wait inside?” He pointed over his shoulder.

She didn’t know how to respond. Thankfully, she was saved from having to answer. The sound of a vehicle came roaring in the distance. A moment later her father’s truck ripped around the corner. It had been just over 10 minutes. Clearly, he had been speeding. It pulled up next to the curve, and Jameson leapt from the cab and rushed over to her as she struggled to her feet. Just the sight of him, of her father rushing to protect her, was enough to set her off. She started sobbing again as he threw his arms around her. The store keeper just stared at them, befuddled.

“Are you okay?” Jameson asked gently.

She sobbed into his chest. “C- class, and the- the t- tea- teacher, and, and I’m- I’m evil, and th- then I j- I just left, b- b- but then my aaaankle.”

“I know. I know.” Jameson said soothingly, despite not having the faintest clue what she was talking about.

“I’m so sorry D- Dad.” She sobbed.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said firmly. He effortlessly scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to his truck. The store owner rushed to open the door for him, where he gently sat her down in the passenger seat. After the door closed, Rayne could vaguely make out the two men briefly exchanging words and a quick handshake before Jameson walked to the driver’s side and climbed in.

He slipped the truck into drive and slowly pulled away from the curve. Rayne stared out the window for the short drive, not knowing what to say. They pulled up to the house, and – despite her protests that she could walk – Jameson picked her up in his arms once again. He carried her to the door, opened it with some small difficulty, and brought them into the house where he gently deposited her onto the sofa.

“I’ll be right back.” He said gently, “Don’t go anywhere.”

She smiled wetly and nodded. He disappeared into the kitchen. Rayne closed her eyes and looked back on the day. What an emotional rollercoaster the entire past week had been. It was so exhausting. How could some people be so kind and accepting? So loving when other people were so filled with hate? Mrs. Cimonie’s words ran through her mind once again. She wasn’t really evil, was she? How was it hurting anyone for her to just be herself?

*Bzzz*

Her phone signaled the arrival of a message. She glanced at the screen. It was Evalyn.

Omg. I just heard from dad. R u okay? What happened?

Jameson walked back into the room with two mugs.

“I told Eva that you were home and that she didn’t have to wait for you.” He said as he set the mugs down on the coffee table.

Rayne nodded and held up her phone to show him the message. He chuckled.

“Why am I not surprised?” he asked as he pulled an ice pack from under his arm. He gently lifted her leg and placed it on top of the ice pack, which in turn was on top of a footrest. He sat down next to her and offered her a mug.

“Hot chocolate?” He announced. “Makes everything better.”

She giggled and took a sip. It was the perfect temperature too. He must have added milk to cool it. She collapsed into him, leaning into his large form. He hesitated, only for a moment, before wrapping an arm around her protectively.

“Do you… do you want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly.

Rayne sat there for a long moment. Staring into her drink. Her father had never been the person Raymond had gone to for talks about his feelings. Raymond always got the impression that it made his father uncomfortable. If he needed to talk he’d go to his mom, or more likely Evalyn. Occasionally Sebastian. Rayne DID want to talk, she needed someone to tell her that Mrs. Cimonie was wrong. That Rayne wasn’t evil. But right now neither of her siblings, nor her mother, were here. Her father was. Her interactions with her father as Rayne had been very limited so far, they hadn’t spent any time together – just the two of them – since she came out to him. He had been very warm and supporting so far, and he had dropped everything to rush to her side at her call.

“O- okay.” She agreed hesitantly.

“What happened?” Jameson asked gently, squeezing her close.

“I was in religion class.” She began miserably, “Mrs. Cimonie checked the question box, and- and there was a question.” She sniffled.

“Okay, what was the question?” Jameson asked, although he had a feeling he knew where this was going.

“Th- the question was asking about trans people and the church.” She said quietly. She shrunk into him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Rayne collecting her thoughts, mustering the will to continue. Jameson patiently waiting for her to be ready.

“Sh- she said that- that trans people were-

She choked back a sob.

“She said they evil.” She continued, voice barely above a whisper. “That by being trans they were inviting S- S- Satan into them.”

She closed her eyes and waited for his reply. What if he agreed with Rayne’s instructor? What if he thought she was evil? A long minute passed by. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She opened her eyes and twisted around to look at her father.

His nostrils were flared up, and his lips curled into a look of disgust. His jaw was trembling and his eyebrows sunk low over his eyes. His eyes themselves were strained tight.

It scared her. Her father had always been a very calm, measured man. He might raise his voice, but that was the closest he ever came to truly being angry with Rayne or her siblings. Sometimes he could be insensitive, or ignorant, but so could anyone.

“I- I’m sorry Daddy- I mean, um, Dad.” Rayne burst, suddenly frantic to calm him down, “M- Maybe I should s- see a priest l- like my t- teacher said.”

His face melted, “Oh no, no, Rayne. I’m not angry with you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Y- you’re not?” She whimpered.

“No sweetie, never.” He said, pulling her into his arms.

“But you ARE angry?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

Jameson pursed his lips.

“The thought of that woman,” He seethed, “Of that woman telling you such a thing. The thought of ANYONE telling my little girl that she’s evil. Simply for trying to be herself? For trying to be happy? Who the FUCK is she to make such accusations?”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” He said when he opened his eyes, “Here I am getting carried away, when you’re the one who had to suffer through it.”

She wrapped her arms around him. “You’re the best.” She said softly.

He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. “Nah, I just do my best.”

They spent a few minutes in each other’s arms. Finally, Jameson leaned back and looked her in the eyes, “How about a movie?” He suggested.

She giggled, and after a moments hesitation, replied.

“That sounds really nice.”

Taking note of her hesitation, he looked at her suspiciously, “But?”

She sucked in her cheeks. “But first I NEED to get out of these yucky clothes.”

He burst into laughter. “Okay, that’s fair. I suppose I would have a hard time being comfortable if I was forced to wear a dress.”

Rayne giggled again, “That would be quite the sight.”

“Do you need a hand to your room?” He asked.

“By a hand,” Rayne began slowly, “Do you mean for you to carry me like a sack of potatoes again?”

He grinned, “If that’s what it takes.”

She smiled and rolled her eyes. Hesitantly, she lifted her injured foot and put it on the floor. She tested it with some weight, then slowly stood.

“I think I’ll be good for the short trip.” She said, slowly taking a few steps. She still had a bit of a limp, but it wasn’t as bad as it was on her way home.

“Okay then, just call if my sack of potatoes needs a hand.” He teased, standing up and returning to the kitchen.

She slowly walked to her room, leaning heavily on the railing on her way up the stairs. She sat down on her bed and spent a moment massaging her ankle. Then she slowly undressed, stripping off the prison that was her school clothes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, basking in the rush of freedom that came from stripping of her disguise. Opening her eyes, she reached to the end of her bedframe where she had draped the dress from this morning. She pulled it towards her and slowly slipped into it.

It was a dark grey, sleeveless dress, completely plain except for some pretty lace stitching around the bodice. Its length was fairly standard as far as Rayne’s wardrobe went, beginning just below her neck and ending just below her knees. She left her feet bare and slowly stood to return to her father’s side.

She walked into the living room. Her father was back on the couch, right where they had been sitting before. A heaping bowl of popcorn now sat on the table in front of him, and the tv was paused on the opening scene of the first Lord of the Rings movie.

“I know you’ve changed a lot.” Jameson began. He hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Or maybe it’s not that you’ve changed, but we’re finally seeing the real you. I don’t know. But I, uh, I hope your taste in movies hasn’t changed.”

She smiled, “Raymond’s love of fantasy was definitely genuine.” She nodded her head at the screen, “Still my favorite.”

Jameson visibly relaxed. The Lord of the Rings was one of the few things Jameson and Raymond had had in common. Jameson had read the books when he was a child, and had given his copies to Sebastian when he learned to read, but he had never shown much of an interest. Evalyn’s interest in books was usually academic. Both thought the movies were good, but it was Raymond who had truly been captivated by the stories of Middle-earth. From the day he was old enough for them to be appropriate reading material – he was engrossed in them. They were his stepping stones into the world of fantasy, and later on, video games. He had used them as a source of inspiration in his art as well, not that anyone would know.

Jameson patted the couch next to him – where Rayne had been sitting before – and she wasted no time reclaiming her seat. She angled herself in such a way where she could lean against Jameson, resting her head on his shoulder, while simultaneously replacing her ankle on the ice pack.

“Ready?” Jameson asked.

“I’m always ready for some Tolkien.” She replied matter-of-factly.

He pressed play.
 

~o~O~o~
 
When Evalyn arrived home from school she found them sitting together watching the movie, Rayne’s head still resting on their father’s shoulder. She opened her mouth to say something – but was silenced by a small shake of Jameson’s head. Instead, she simply put away her things and joined them for the movie. When Sebastian arrived home, he opened his mouth to speak, but was promptly guided away by Evalyn. When they returned, he simply collapsed onto the love seat and focused on the movie. Evalyn returned to her own chair.

When the movie ended everyone turned to look at Rayne.

“Bored of Tolkien yet?” Jameson asked Rayne.

She giggled and quipped, “I don’t know what you’re Tolkien about! As if that could ever happen.”

Jameson gave a long hard laugh at the pun, Evalyn chuckled and shook her head, Sebastian face-palmed. Without another word, Jameson walked over to the entertainment system. He removed the disk for ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’, and inserted the second movie in the trilogy, ‘The Two Towers’.

They were half an hour into the movie when Catalina got home. She walked in with two boxes of pizza.

“I know you’re watching a movie,” She said in greeting, “But can you take a five-minute break to grab some dinner?”

“How ‘bout it?” Jameson asked, looking at Rayne.

She nodded, “Yeah, I could eat.”

Jameson nodded and the four of them went to join Catalina in the kitchen. Everyone grabbed a plate and a slice or two of pizza, before returning to the living room. Jameson didn’t hit play though.

“Can we talk for a few minutes first?” He asked Rayne, who grimaced, but nodded.

“So, um, what happened today?” Evalyn asked, “I just got a message from Dad saying that you came home early.”

“That’s what Dad told you?” Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow, “You messaged me that something was seriously wrong with Rayne.”

Evalyn rolled her eyes. “Something obviously WAS seriously wrong if it was enough for Rayne to leave early.”

The two of them looked at Rayne expectantly, Rayne looked at Catalina.

“All your father told me was that a teacher said something,” She began carefully, “and it scared you.”

Rayne nodded slowly. “That about sums it up.” She looked down at her plate, “I guess I kinda overreacted, huh?” She glanced at her father hesitantly.

Jameson shook his head, “Not in the slightest. You’re going through a lot right now, it was understandable.”

“Wait,” Sebastian said, raising his eyebrows, “Something a TEACHER said caused this?”

Rayne nodded, “Ya know how all the religion teachers have those question boxes?”

Everyone nodded. Sebastian and Evalyn had first hand experience, and their parents had been told stories before.

“W- well, I guess after Mom, Dad, and I had our meeting with Ms. Reid yesterday, she was on the phone scheduling our appointment for Saturday. She must’ve forgotten to close the door, or didn’t think to or something, and a student in my religion class heard her on the phone. They heard her talking about a student with gender issues who might be transgender. From the sound of things, whoever it was didn’t hear any names, but they put a question in the question box. They asked how that worked with Christianity and being Catholic.”

“And what did she say?” Catalina asked, an edge slipping into her voice.

“Sh- she said that trans people have those feelings because they’re- because they’re evil. Or have something evil inside them. And that if they act on them, if they make changes to their body, then they’re welcoming Satan into their soul. Letting him take over.”

The family sat in silence for a long minute, digesting what she had just said.

“So, what did you do?” Evalyn asked.

“I forced myself to sit through the last few minutes of class.” Rayne said with a shrug, “What else could I do? Anything else would be suspicious. Then, as soon as I was alone, I freaked out and left.”

“Did you ‘freak’ because of what she said, honey?” Catalina asked, “Because you know she’s full of shit, right?”

Rayne giggled at her mother’s bluntness. The whole family did.

“I’m serious though,” Catalina said gently, “You know she’s wrong, right? You are NOT evil.”

Rayne nodded. “At the time, no. I was in a panic and not thinking straight. But yeah, now that I’ve calmed down, I know Mom. What she said really bothered me, but I know she’s wrong. She’s just a bigot. It’s probably not even her fault, she was probably raised her whole life thinking that way. What really scared me,” She continued slowly, “was the thought that I might be outed. Whoever wrote that question could have easily heard my name too. What if they tell someone?”

No one had an immediate answer for that.

“Well, if anything good came of this,” Rayne continued when no one answered her, “It’s that I sure as hell don’t wanna go to school as me anymore.”

She expected her parent’s to be happy about that, instead they both frowned.

“Sweetie, why would that be a good thing?” Jameson asked softly.

Rayne shrugged, “You and Mom don’t want me to. Now we’re all on the same thought process.”

“Rayne, sweetheart, it’s not that we don’t want you to.” Catalina explained, “It’s that we’re afraid for you to.”

Rayne’s brow knitted itself together. “You’re afraid? Why?”

“Because of people like her.” Jameson answered, Catalina nodding in agreement, “Not everyone is as accepting and supportive as our family. There are people out there who would hurt you – or say horrible things about you – just for being different. In a perfect world, you would be able to go to school dressed however you wanted without anyone batting an eye.”

“In a perfect world,” Rayne said slowly, “I just would have been born with the right body. But I understand what you’re saying now Dad.”

He nodded, “Now, unless anyone has anything else to add, shall we return to the movie?” No one argued, and the play button was pressed.

At some point during the movie Catalina and Sebastian both pulled out their laptops, and Evalyn her school books. When the movie ended, Jameson just said that they couldn’t leave the trilogy incomplete and popped in the third movie. Rayne didn’t argue. Catalina, Sebastian and Evalyn didn’t stick around for the third, they were all Tolkien’d out. When the third movie ended, it was just past midnight. Jameson declared it to be bedtime, and Rayne did not argue. The impromptu movie marathon had gone on for just over 9 hours.

Rayne managed to make it to her bedroom by herself, her ankle feeling much better than when she got home. She changed into her pyjamas, and collapsed into bed.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne walked into school the next day, ready for class. She wasn’t going to let what was said yesterday bother her. So, clad in the armor that was Raymond’s identity, she marched to her locker. Slowly she realized that something was different. Her bravado was quickly fading. Was it just her, or were people staring at her? Staring in a bad way. Amusement. Disgust. Distain. Revulsion.

Laughter.

She whipped around. Derek Pilsing stood there. Her interactions with him had thankfully been very limited so far this year.

“What do you want Derek?” She asked, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

“Nothing.” He said, a smarmy niceness dripping from his voice. A fake smile plastered across his face.

Rayne turned to leave. She had to get to class.

“Tranny.”

She whipped back around.

“Wh- what did you say?” She asked, wide eyed and terrified.

People were laughing all around them. Staring at her and laughing with hate filled eyes.

“You’ll never be a girl.” He whispered in her ear, somehow – impossibly – he was standing behind her. “You’ll never be more than a tranny. A guy walking around in a dress.”

She screamed-

And bolted awake.

She was soaked in sweat. Breath short and ragged.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

A nightmare was a more apt description.

She got out of bed and walked to the washroom. She splashed cold water on her face and scrubbed the tears from her eyes. Fuck. Did a day ever pass without her crying? The day hadn’t even begun and she was in tears. She sighed heavily. Just a dream. Just a dream. She just had to keep telling herself that. The fear would go away. She drank a big glass of water and returned to her room. She glanced at her alarm clock. 4:45. Much too early to get up. She had only been asleep for four and a half hours. She looked at her bed with disgust, as if it was its fault, as if her bed had betrayed her.

She changed out of her sweaty nightie. Damn. She needed more pyjamas. She hadn’t even thought to buy more when they were out shopping Sunday. Frowning, she climbed back into bed naked. Slowly, she drifted back to sleep. Hoping and praying for a more restful sleep.
 

~o~O~o~
 
She woke up to her alarm the next morning, grumpy and bleary eyed. She smacked the snooze button and rolled over. Five minutes later she smacked it again. And once more after another five.

Finally, a knock came on the door.

“Planning on hitting snooze all morning, Rayne?” Sebastian’s voice rang out.

She grumbled to herself and clambered to the edge of the bed. She was not ready to start the day. Not in the slightest. She heaved a heavy sigh and stood up. Slowly she dressed herself and descended to the kitchen. She didn’t even bother with a shower. She just didn’t have the willpower today.

When she walked into the kitchen, both of her siblings and her father stared at her.

“What?” She mumbled, taking a seat and slumping her head into her hands.

“Uhhhh,” Evalyn began, “how do I put this.”

“You look horrible.” Sebastian finished for her.

Evalyn gave him a dirty look.

Rayne was un-phased. “I feel horrible.”

“You feel sick?” Jameson asked, concerned.

“No. Not sick.” Rayne answered, the nightmare replaying in her mind, “Just horrible. Like I have no energy. No willpower.”

“Why don’t you stay home today.” Jameson suggested.

She lifted her head from her hands to stare at him, “Really?”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. If you feel like that you won’t be able to focus anyways. You’ll be alone most of the day though. Just remember, no internet, no video games. Just because I’m giving you the day off doesn’t mean you’re not grounded.”

“O- okay.” She said, “I could really use some alone time anyways.”

Jameson nodded in understanding.

“I’m gonna go back to bed then.” She said, climbing to her feet.

“I’ll call the school and let them know you won’t be there.” Jameson said.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne spent the day in quiet contemplation. She spent a few hours drawing in her sketchbook, some time reading, and sometime just sitting in the backyard. She did some laundry and even managed to do at least some studying. She wouldn’t allow herself to fall behind again. When the day ended she found herself feeling revitalized, and went to bed for a peaceful sleep. The rest of the school week went by blessedly peacefully. Stories of Mrs. Cimonie’s lecture had spread throughout the whole school, and it turned out the Rayne was not the only student made uncomfortable by it. Jameson and Catalina, in turn, were not the only parents to be outraged. Numerous complaints had been filed about the issue, and Mrs. Cimonie’s classes were taught by substitute teachers for the rest of the week. On top of that, due to her sprained ankle, Rayne was excused from gym class until she recovered. The class was replaced with a free study period for the time being. This suited her just fine as she had a lot on her plate catching up for being distracted and then absent for the first few days of the week, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. She was more pleased with how it would assist her in avoiding Mr. McMan when he came back next week.

The family was sitting down for dinner Friday night, Rayne’s stomach a bundle of nerves for the next day’s appointment.

“So, there is something we need to discuss about tomorrow.” Jameson began.

“Okay shoot.” Rayne replied.

Catalina and Jameson shared a look. Clearly this was something they had discussed.

“Tomorrow night we’ve been asked over to Grandpa and Grandma’s for a family dinner.” Catalina said.

“Okaaaay,” Rayne said, not yet seeing where this was going.

“And your mother and I think,” Jameson continued, “That it would be for the best to tell the family about you sooner rather than later.”

Rayne set down her fork, suddenly losing her appetite. “You mean you wanna tell them tomorrow.”

Jameson nodded, “Yes. But we wanted to give you a choice.”

Rayne looked at them. “Is not telling them one of my options?”

Catalina gave her a sad smile. “No. You know that can’t go on for long. If you want to live as Rayne, then the rest of the family needs to know. We need to rip off the band-aid.”

“What’s my choice then?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

“Well,” Catalina continued, “After your meeting with Dr. Mathews, you can either come with us to your grandparents and we’ll tell them together. Or, we’ll drop you off at Logan’s for dinner. Your father and I will go to dinner and tell them, then pick you up afterwards. You can wait to see them until they’ve had a chance to process the information. “

“We’ve already cleared it with Logan’s parents.” Jameson quickly added.

“What about Seb and Eva? What are they gonna do?” Rayne asked.

“If you want to tell the family together, then they will come along to support you.” Catalina answered, “If you go to Logan’s then just your father and I will go to dinner.

Rayne nodded slowly and spent a minute thinking about it.

“I- I’m not ready to face them as me.” She finally said quietly, “Can I please just go to Logan’s?”

“Of course.” Catalina replied immediately.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Rayne found she couldn’t focus on anything. Her stomach was tied in knots and her mind a whirl. So much was on the line, what would tomorrow bring?

---

---

Hello my friends,

Flummox here.

First, apology time. There was no chapter last week, and I am very sorry for that. It was a busy week, and I just couldn’t find the time. I hope you’ll forgive me.

Second, a bit of an announcement.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned in a comment that Rayne’s story still had a lot to be told, and I wasn’t lying. I have a lot planned. However, A Blank Page will be coming to an end soon. Rayne’s story will continue, and likely finish, in a second installment. I never planned for this, it was originally going to be just one story, but I also never expected it to evolve into what it has become. The main reason for this is that I’m currently posting chapters faster than I’m writing them, and I’d rather end this installment and start another than go on hiatus or begin posting sporadically. On top of that – like I already mentioned – this has become more then I ever thought it would. It wouldn’t be a stretch to call it a novel now, rather than just a story. It just feels weird for me to call it that. ^_^;;

So yeah, I wanted to let anyone who’s been following my story know this in advance, so it won’t be a shock when it suddenly ends. I’m really sorry if this disappoints any of you, I hope you’ll forgive me, and I’ll try to make it up to you with the best story I can.

As always, thanks for reading and commenting. I’d love to hear from you whether it’s in the form of a comment or a message. I make an effort to reply to everything, although it sometimes takes me a few days, or even weeks. I get distracted easily. ;P

I am eternally grateful for all the faith you have placed in me,

Flummox

---

A Blank Page
Chapter 17
By Flummox

---

A knock came on the door.

“Come in! It’s open!” Rayne called. She dug frantically through the pile of clothes on her bed, tossing another article of clothing to the side. Nope. Nope. That one wouldn’t do.

Evalyn walked in, “Is, uh, is everything okay Rayne?” She asked hesitantly as she watched her frantic sister.

“No.” Rayne replied, not even looking up. Her entire wardrobe was sprawled out across her bed. “Nothing’s okay. I need to find something else to wear.”

“Okay.” Evalyn said, walking over to take her sister’s hands in hers. “Calm down. What’s wrong with what your wearing?”

Rayne bit her lip and looked down at her outfit. She was wearing a teal skirt that came down to her ankles, with a blue denim blouse. She actually really liked the outfit.

“N- nothing’s wrong with it.” She said hesitantly, “It’s just not right. Maybe I should wear that skirt you got me when we first went out together.”

Evalyn raised her eyebrows skeptically, “The mini-skirt? The mere thought of wearing that has always horrified you. You haven’t even worn the knee length skirt me and Mom got you last weekend. What changed?”

Rayne dragged her hands down her face, stretching open her eyes and squishing her mouth. Distorting her face into what was clearly a comical image based on Evalyn’s giggles.

“You’re right.” She moaned, “I can’t wear that.”

“Just calm down.” Evalyn said, “and tell me what’s wrong.”

Rayne sighed heavily. “Eva, this doctor is a gender specialist.”

“Yeeeeaaah.” Evalyn drawled, pressing for her to continue.

“He’s the one who’s gonna decide my future!” She said anxiously.

“Rayne, don’t you think you’re overreacting again?” Evalyn asked calmly.

“No!” Rayne cried. “Eva, what if- what if he doesn’t think-”

She stopped, and looked down at her feet.

“Doesn’t think what?” Evalyn prompted gently.

“What if he doesn’t think I’m… girly enough?” She whispered uncertainly.

Her head snapped up at the sound of her sister giggling.

“Eva!” She groaned.

“Come on, Rayne.” Her sister said dramatically, “You’re girlyer than I am.”

Rayne looked at her skeptically. “You’re just trying to make me feel better. Like always. And ‘girlyer’ isn’t a real word.”

Evalyn giggled and took her by the shoulders. “Rayne. You know I’m not one to lie to make you feel better. So, believe me when I say that you are plenty girly, in fact, you are the picture of a delicate flower.”

“I am NOT delicate.” Rayne denied.

Rayne whipped around to the sound of laughter behind her. Sebastian was standing there, a huge grin on his face.

Rayne sighed and tilted her head, “What?” she asked.

“I was just listening in.” He began, “Evalyn has a point about you being girly. Evalyn rarely wears dresses. You wear them more the anything else. And you’re right Rayne. You’re not delicate.”

Rayne turned to look at Evalyn, “See?” She asked smugly, “Seb knows what’s up.”

“Yeah.” Sebastian continued, “I wouldn’t say delicate. I think ‘fragile’ is more accurate.”

Rayne whipped around, jaw dropping. Evalyn started howling behind her. Sebastian just grinned.

“You guys are sooooo mean.” Rayne pouted. Sebastian just laughed and pulled her into a hug.

“Come on Sis’,” he said, “You know we’re only teasing.”

“I know.” She said, squeezing him back.

“Speak for yourself, Seb.” Evalyn chipped in, walking over to stand next to them. “She sure does cry a lot.”

Sebastian reached over and pushed her, causing Evalyn to fall into the pile of clothes on Rayne’s bed. Evalyn squeaked, and it was Rayne’s turn to laugh. Sebastian joined her, Evalyn following soon after.

“If you kids are done goofing off,” Catalina said from the door, catching their collective attention, “Your little sister, father, and I need to hit the road. You ready Rayne?”

Confidence reclaimed, Rayne nodded. “Yeah Mom. I’m good to go.”

Evalyn and Sebastian followed them to the door. “I still don’t understand why we can’t come.” Evalyn pouted as Rayne and their parents put on their shoes and coats.

“Then it’s a good thing you don’t need to understand.” Jameson said as he opened the doors.

Catalina rolled her eyes and laughed, “If we all go the room will be very crowded.” She explained.

“We could wait outside!” Evalyn countered.

“We want to talk to the family without any pesky kids.” Jameson said, “If Rayne doesn’t want to be there, then you don’t need to be there.”

“You want to talk without any kids?” Sebastian asked, “Won’t our cousins be there?”

“The difference is that they’re not pesky.” Jameson asked, a small grin on his face.

Evalyn rolled her eyes, Sebastian just looked at him and tilted his head skeptically.

Jameson chuckled, “Your cousins don’t know yet, and they need to know just as much as the rest of the family. Now we need to get going, or we’re going to be late.”

Sebastian nodded, Evalyn huffed and crossed her arms. Rayne giggled and threw her arms around them both. “Thanks for calming me down and making me feel better.” She whispered.

“No problem.” Evalyn replied.

Rayne released them and walked for the door. As the door closed behind her, she heard Evalyn call out.

“See ya tonight flower!”
 

~o~O~o~
 
She was sitting in a waiting room. Heart thundering in her ears. The drive was much too short. It was a two-hour drive, but somehow that was still much, much too short. She wasn’t ready for this. She needed to be ready for this, but she wasn’t ready for this. The man who would decide whether she got to exist or not was though those doors. Her parents – now seated on either side of her – had tried to talk to her, to get her to relax throughout the whole drive. She had barely heard a word they said. Now they were in this bloody waiting room. Other people sat all around them. There weren’t many of them, but the room felt crowded. So crowded.

Her Mom took Rayne’s hand in hers. She squeezed it reassuringly. Rayne smiled at her, trying to look reassured. She wasn’t.

The door to the doctor’s office opened. An older man stepped out, followed by someone else. Rayne barely even registered the other person’s presence. She was focused on the doctor, grey hair ringed a mostly bald head. He was hunched over slightly, and had a pair of glasses perched on his nose.

“Thanks doctor,” The whoever said, “I’m feeling much better.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” The doctor replied. The whoever left, and the doctor picked up a clipboard from a nearby counter. He grabbed a pair of glasses from where they hung around his neck and put them on. He looked down at the clip board.

“Raymond Danahy.” He read aloud. He looked up at the assortment of people present.

Her parents stood up immediately. She didn’t. It was the wrong name. She was Rayne. If she stood up now it would be like she was screaming to everyone in the room, “I’m fake! I’m not a real girl!” She bit her trembling lip. Her parents had turned back to look at her now. The doctor was looking at her too. Tears were welling in her eyes.

“Oh! My apologies.” The doctor announced with a start.

“The secretary clearly made a mistake, and mixed up some names. Understandable really, she was eager for the weekend.” He rambled loudly as he walked over to their family. “Since it clearly states the patient is a 14-year-old girl, then you must be Raymond,” He said, walking over to shake hands with Jameson, “I’m Dr. Mathews, but please, call me Bill. And your daughter’s name is?”

Jameson blinked in initial confusion, but quickly caught on to what the doctor was doing. By pretending a mistake had been made, he might be able to alleviate Rayne’s fears. He shook the doctor’s hand. “Yes, this is my daughter, Rayne, and my wife, Catalina.”

The doctor nodded and turned to shake hands with Rayne, “It’s good to meet you Rayne, shall we continue inside my office?”

Rayne shook his hand and nodded. She could breathe again. She stood up and followed the doctor into his room.

Once the door was safely closed behind them, the doctor immediately turned to her, “I am so sorry for that slip up. I wasn’t sure who to expect and was only given one name.”

Rayne smiled, “It- it’s okay. How did you catch on so fast?”

He chuckled, “Well, I knew you were 14, and your parents stood immediately. After that, well, it didn’t take a psychologist to understand your expression.”

“Thanks for the quick-thinking Doc.” Jameson said, “Got us out of a pickle.”

Dr. Mathews nodded, “It was the least I could do, considering I was the cause of the pickle. Although I would love to hear your real name.” He offered another handshake.

Jameson accepted the handshake and chuckled. “My real name is Jameson.”

Dr. Mathews smiled and bowed his head slightly, “It’s good to meet you for real.”

Rayne was busy looking around the room. She was expecting it to be like the psychologists in the movies and TV, with a long couch for the patient and a chair for the doctor. There was a couch, but there were also several chairs of different types, a desk, and a few shelves filled with books – books ranging from textbooks to children’s picture books. Mounted on the wall were several framed certificates, clearly memento’s and proof of the doctors schooling. Off to the side there was a mini-fridge and two kettles on a counter. Rayne turned back to the adults to find them all watching her. She chewed on her lip, suddenly self conscious.

“Where do you think you would be most comfortable, Rayne?” The doctor asked.

“Aren’t I supposed to lie on the couch?” She asked hesitantly, still thinking of the movies.

“You certainly can,” Dr. Mathews replied, “But I would much prefer you sit wherever you’ll be comfortable. If that’s the couch, that’s fine. If you’d rather we all sit in chairs, that’s fine too. We could even sit on the floor.”

Rayne smiled, “What if I wanted to sit behind your desk?”

He smiled warmly, “I’d even pull out the chair for you, although I’d request you didn’t start going through my drawers.”

She giggled. “The couch will be fine doctor.”

He nodded, and the group walked over to the large couch. Rayne and her parents could all sit on it together comfortably.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” He offered as they got settled.

“Um, what do you have?” Rayne asked.

“I try to keep just about everything on hand.” He replied, “Coffee, tea, juice, milk, hot chocolate, water, some soda but not a lot.”

Rayne nodded thoughtfully. “Um, maybe a hot chocolate?”

“Of course.” Dr. Mathews replied, “Jameson? Catalina?”

“Tea for me please.” Catalina asked politely.

“I’ll take a coffee doc.” Jameson replied in turn.

Dr. Mathews received Catalina’s preference for tea and asked how Jameson took his coffee before stepping away to get the drinks brewing. Rayne watched him move about the room. She slowly relaxed, it seemed like everything about the room was meant to put people at ease. It was probably intentional, she realized, as people were more likely to open up if they were comfortable in their surroundings. A room with a homey atmosphere contributed to that better than a bright appointment room with medical diagrams everywhere.

The doctor returned with a tray of drinks. He sat it down on the coffee table in front of the couch, and took a seat in the armchair opposite.

“Shall we begin?” He asked gently.

Rayne nodded hesitantly, “Um, wh- where do we begin?”

“Well,” He said slowly, “We can begin wherever you feel comfortable.”

Rayne bit her lip and looked away.

“Do you like games, Rayne?” The doctor asked after a moment, drawing her eyes back to his own.

She nodded hesitantly.

“Then why don’t we make a game out of this?” He suggested.

She just looked at him.

“It’s simple, we take turns. You ask me a question, I’ll answer, then I’ll ask you a question. How does that sound?”

Rayne nodded. She could do that. She would be able to learn more about this gatekeeper too.

“Who goes first?” She asked.

He smiled and gestured to her with an open hand, “Be my guest.”

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Why did you become a psychologist?” She asked after a moment.

“When I was a young man,” Dr. Matthews began, “I had a fascination with the human mind. With what makes us tick. That was why I first became a psychologist, but my motivations have changed significantly since then.

“Okay,” Rayne nodded, “Then I guess it’s your turn.”

“What do you like to do for fun, Rayne?”

She furrowed her brow. That wasn’t the kind of question she was expecting. She was expecting him to ask her much more personal questions. Psychobabble questions.

“I, um, I like to read and play video games.” She replied after a moment of thought, “I love to draw and paint, and I love spending time with my family.”

The doctor nodded, “Your turn.”

“You said your motivations changed. What are they now?” She asked.

“Now I just want to help people. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Rayne nodded.

“What kind of books do you like to read?”

“I love fantasy the most, but I like lots of different genres. Mostly fiction though.” She answered before diving into her next question, not fully satisfied with his last answer. “What caused your motivation to change?”

“My study of the human mind brought me in touch with some very tortured individuals.” He explained, “My passion for learning slowly shifted to helping these people learn about themselves, and to grow and heal. Do you enjoy school?”

“School’s okay. I love to learn, it’s the people there I don’t really care for. Ms. Reid told me you helped a lot of transgender people before. Is that true?”

“I would like to think so. To really have an answer for that you would need to ask them yourself. What’s wrong with the people at school?”

Rayne scrunched up her face, “Some of them are okay, but a lot of them can be really mean. Other’s have tried to be my friend just to get in my big brother and big sister’s good books – Seb and Eva are both really popular. Raymond doesn’t have many friends there.”

“I understand.” Dr. Mathews said gently, “Kids can be cruel, can’t they?”

Rayne nodded and looked up from where her gaze had fallen to the floor. “Ms. Reid also said you try especially hard to help transgender youth. Why?”

Dr. Mathews’ eyes filled with sadness. “My wife and I. We had a son. A beautiful son. We raised him as best we could, but I – with all my education – couldn’t help him. He was assigned female at birth, and exhibited all the signs of gender dysphoria from an early age, but I- I didn’t see them. I didn’t realize what they were until it was too late. He killed himself when he was 16.”

Bill Mathews closed his eyes and took a deep shaky breath.

“It was after that that I swore – Swore! That no other child – boy or girl – would go through that because of my ignorance. That I would do everything I could to become an ally and a voice for transgender youth everywhere. I re-educated myself. Went back to school. Changed my specialty. It’s been my life focus ever since. I’ve devoted my life to this mission.”

Rayne was speechless. She never would have fathomed his true motivation could run so deep, and be so personal to him.

Dr. Mathews’ took another deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. He smiled gently.

“I’m sorry, even now, 20 years later, it still pains me to speak about it.”

Rayne shook her head slowly. “That’s nothing to apologize for. It’s completely understandable, it pained me just to hear about it. I’m so sorry you and your wife had to go through that.”

“Thank you for your kind words, Rayne.” Dr. Mathews’ replied, “Now, I believe it was my turn, yes?”

Rayne nodded.

“Do you ever have strong feelings of anxiety, Rayne?”

Anxiety? That came out of nowhere. All of his questions so far had felt like he was just trying to get to know her. He was a psychologist though, of course there would be some serious questions.

“Umm, y- yeah, I guess.” She mumbled nervously.

“You guess?” Dr. Mathews probed gently.

Rayne grimaced. “Fine, quite a bit. I feel like I’m worried or stressing out all the time. It’s especially bad if I’m the center of attention.”

Dr. Mathews nodded. Catalina took Rayne’s hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Why does that matter though?” Rayne asked.

“It’s not healthy or normal for someone your age to be feeling that way.” Dr. Mathews explained, “Such feelings are often a marker of gender dysphoria.”

“O- Oh.” Rayne looked down at her feet.

“When do you NOT feel that way, Rayne?” The doctor asked.

Rayne chewed on her lip. “I feel like that all the time, but it’s not nearly as bad when I’m me.”

“You mean when you’re presenting as a girl?”

Rayne blushed and nodded.

Dr. Mathews nodded in turn.

“Uh, um, what are some other, uh, markers?” She asked hesitantly.

Dr. Mathews watched her for a long moment. He pursed his lips, and for a moment Rayne thought he wouldn’t answer, but then he spoke.

“Well, no two people are exactly the same. The human mind is very complex, but some common signs include loneliness, depression, isolation, disgust with one’s body, low self-esteem, and an increased risk of substance abuse amongst others. Does any of that sound familiar?”

Rayne’s jaw trembled. She gave a small nod before dropping her head into her hands. She felt her father rub her back reassuringly.

“It’s okay, Rayne.” Dr. Mathews said gently, “It might not seem like it now, but it’s okay. Things will get better. Now that we know what’s been troubling you, we can take steps to fix it. In fact, you already have.”

Rayne sniffed back the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. “W- we have?”

Dr. Mathews nodded firmly. “Simply having the support of your family can have a huge positive impact.”

Rayne turned to look at her mother, then her father in turn. Her mother was openly crying, but what shocked Rayne more was the sight of tears in her father’s eyes. She had NEVER seen Jameson cry, not even when his best friend died a few years ago. The sight of it caused her own tears to finally spill over.

She flung herself into his embrace, and Catalina joined them a moment later. They spent a minute wrapped in each other’s love, before finally separating. Rayne turned back to the doctor, who was watching them with a small smile on his face. Rayne was initially embarrassed at the public display of affection, but was quickly distracted by the sound of her mother giggling. She turned to look at her, then followed Catalina’s gaze to her father. He was blushing brightly, and clearly trying to hide it. Sitting straight and avoiding eye contact by looking straight ahead, lips pressed tightly together.

Rayne burst into a fit of giggles, her own embarrassment forgotten. Jameson huffed and turned to glare haughtily at his wife and daughter. Finally, he smiled and rolled his eyes.

Collecting herself, Rayne turned back to the doctor.

“Shall we continue?” He asked warmly.

Rayne nodded. “So, what’s the next step?”

Dr. Mathews Raised his eyebrows, “The next step is to continue what you’ve been doing. Do your best in school, spend time with your family, spend time as Rayne, and come see me again. We’ll have a lot more to talk about in the future.”

Rayne pursed her lips.

Dr. Mathews smiled, “I know you’re impatient Rayne, but now is the time when patience is important. This can be a long, slow process.”

She sighed heavily. “Okay, I’ll try and be patient.”

Her apprehension and nerves forgotten, the rest of their session continued as an easy conversation. Dr. Mathews asked Rayne questions about her life, her experiences, how she was coping, and other questions. He suggested strategies for when she felt overwhelmed, and to deal with the anxiety and stress. Before she knew it, over an hour had passed.

“Now, I understand that it’s a bit of a drive for you to come see me,” The doctor said as they were standing to leave, “So I would recommend we only meet once every two weeks, but for a few hours. This is a journey that your whole family is going to be taking together, so if anyone else needs to talk, my services will be available.”

Jameson nodded, “We appreciate that. Next time we’ll bring Sebastian and Evalyn as well.”

Dr. Mathews nodded in agreement, “One last thing before we part, you may not be aware of this, but the Lakewood community center hosts an LGBTQ youth support group. They meet on the second and fourth Tuesday of every month. I believe it would be very good for Rayne to meet some other people her age whom she can talk to about what she’s going through.”

Rayne bit her lip. That sounded scary. Lakewood wasn’t a big town. It was almost guaranteed that someone from her school – maybe someone she knew – would be in that group. What if they told?

Dr. Mathews must have picked up on her nerves, because he was smiling at her reassuringly. “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it, Rayne. But I honestly believe it would do you a lot of good. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

She promised, and a moment later everyone was shaking hands and stepping out the doors. They walked out of the office and out to their vehicle in silence.

“Sooooooo,” Catalina began as they buckled up, “How do you feel?”

Rayne took a moment to gather her thoughts.

“I feel good. Really, really good.”

“Well that’s really, really good!” Jameson exclaimed.

“So, you’re taking me to Logan’s house now?” Rayne asked.

“That’s the plan,” Catalina confirmed, “Then, after dinner we’ll pick you up.”

The mention of dinner and the thought of her parents outing her to the rest of the family caused the very feeling of anxiety she had discussed with the doctor to come rushing back. What if they hated her? She had already seen how they reacted to transgender people in a documentary, and that was just a documentary! People they didn’t even know! Oh God, she had to convince her parents to stop! She had to-

No. The doctor had given her strategies to deal with exactly these thoughts.

Rayne closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose. A deep, shaky, uneven breath, but a deep breath none the less. She exhaled through her mouth as she thought about the doctor’s advice.

Take deep breaths and count to ten.

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

6…

7…

8…

9…

10…

She opened her eyes to see both her mother and father staring at her. Concern clearly written on their faces.

“Are you okay sweetie?” Catalina asked.

Rayne took another deep breath and nodded slowly. “Yeah Mom. I’m good.”

She had felt like this before and she had gotten through it. She would again. Everything would work out. Maybe not for the best, but everything WOULD work out.

She closed her eyes and took another deep breath as her father pulled away from the curve.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“Are you sure they’ll be okay with this?” Rayne asked his parents as they walked up to Logan’s door. When they had met Logan’s mom Rayne had been Raymond. Now she was showing up as Rayne. What if they weren’t okay with it?

“Don’t get yourself all stressed out Rayne,” Jameson said lightheartedly, “We spoke with Logan first, got his parent’s views from him, then called his Mother and cleared it with her.”

“Okay I guess.” Rayne agreed. They were at the door now. With a deep breath, she reached up and pushed the doorbell.

The sound of a dog’s excited barking could be heard. Followed by a woman’s voice, slowly getting closer, “Oh shush! You go to your bed Grizz. Go to your bed! Good boy.”

The door opened, and Katelyn stood before them. Behind her, in what appeared to be the living room, a huge black dog could be seen sitting on the very edge of a dog bed. He sat with his neck craned as far towards them as possible. His mouth hung open goofily, tongue lolling out the side.

“Catalina! Jameson! So good to see you!” Katelyn greeted, “And I must say, you look very pretty Rayne.”

“Thank you.” Rayne mumbled quietly, blushing and looking at the big dog.

“It’s good to see you as well Katelyn.” Catalina said warmly.

“Thank you so much for doing this for us, and on such short notice.” Jameson said with a friendly smile.

“Pssshhh,” Katelyn said, waiving her hand, “It’s no trouble. In fact, it’s been a long time coming. I know how eager Logan’s been to get together with Rayne.”

“Come on in sweetie.” Katelyn continued, ushering Rayne in. She turned back to Rayne’s parents, “I won’t keep you, I know you have somewhere to be. What time can I expect you back? Maybe we can talk more then.”

“We’ll probably be leaving as soon as dinner finishes.” Jameson answered, “So, most likely around 7:00. 8:00 at the latest.”

“Sounds good.” Katelyn agreed.

“We’ll see you in a few hours princess.” Jameson said, giving Rayne a quick hug.

“Everything will be okay, you’ll see.” Catalina assured their daughter during their own embrace.

Her parents turned to leave, and Katelyn closed the door.

“Well, I believe Logan’s downstairs, but first,” She turned to where the big dog now stood. One paw on his bed, the rest of him leaning towards them, panting happily. “First I should introduce you to this big lug. Grizz! On your bed!”

The big dog looked at her, then turned to look at his bed, and his one paw standing on the very edge of it. He looked back to them, seemingly feigning innocence.

“Grizz.” Katelyn said sternly, placing her hands on her hips.

The big dog let out a shockingly human sounding moan before backing up to be fully on his bed.

“Good boy.” Katelyn said as she led Rayne over to the dog.

“Rayne, this is our puppy. Grizz.” Katelyn introduced.

“Puppy?” Rayne asked sceptically as she held out a fist for the dog to sniff.

After sniffing and licking her hand, Grizz immediately flopped onto his back, presenting his belly for pets.

Rayne and Katelyn giggled together.

“I’ll admit,” Katelyn began, as Rayne squatted down to scratch his belly, “He’s not quite a puppy anymore, but our grizzly bear still acts like one.”

As she rubbed his belly he let out a contented groaning noise, drawing more laughter from Rayne.

“So, before I send you down to join Logan,” Katelyn continued, “I just wanted to let you know that our family is completely supportive of you and your, um, situation.”

Rayne blushed and stood. “Th- thank you.”

Katelyn smiled, “You’re very courageous.”

Rayne looked down at Grizz. He seemed to be smiling at her.

“I’m really not that brave.” She said quietly, “In fact, I feel like I’m terrified and on the verge of breaking down almost all the time. Even now, the reason I’m here is because I’m too scared to face my family. I’m not brave, I’m just trying to be myself.”

Katelyn smiled sadly. “Well, Logan will be waiting for you.”

She turned and led Rayne down the hall and around a corner to a large staircase that spiraled both up above them, and down below. Grizz eagerly scampered down the stairs ahead of her, pausing halfway down to look back at her.

“Go on down.” Katelyn said before turning to return to whatever she had been doing.

Rayne followed Grizz down the stairs. The big dog loped ahead, leading her down a hall, then paused again to look back. When she caught up to him he ran to a door and nudged it open with his head.

“Oh, hoi dare ma grizzy bear.” Came Logan’s voice, distorted into a goofy tone.

Grizz began to rapidly look back and forth between the source of the voice, and Rayne approaching the door. He shook his whole body, as if impatient with Rayne. She giggled as she reached the door and stuck her head in.

“Hey Rayny!” Logan called out, a big smile on his face. “I haven’t been upstairs yet today, How’s the weather?”

Rayne laughed, “Some things never change. Hey Bunny.”

He joined in her laughter as Grizz ran back and forth between them.

Bunny sat in a comfortable looking computer chair, in front of a powerful looking pc. He turned back to what he had been playing as Rayne walked over to watch. She recognized the game as Starcraft 2, and Bunny was cleaning house.

“I’ll just be a moment to finish up.” He declared, rapidly entering commands into the keyboard with his left hand as his right operated the mouse. Rayne spent the time looking around the room. The computer desk sat opposite the doorway, to her left was a large television sitting in a huge entertainment unit that covered the entire wall. The shelves were filled with games from an assortment of systems, as well as the systems themselves – which spanned several eras. There was everything from the classic NES, to the newer systems such as the PS4 and Xbox One. In front of the television there was a long coffee table and a large fluffy sofa. She looked back to the computer just in time to see the word ‘Victory’ flash across the screen in bright blue letters.

Bunny quickly logged out of the game, and then in turn the computer itself. He swiveled in his seat to look at her. “Long time no talk! Where’ve ya been?”

It had really been just over a week since she last messaged him, but considering they usually talked every day, it did feel like a long time.

She sighed heavily, and rolled her eyes. “I’ve been grounded. No phone, no games, no internet except for school work. For a month.”

Bunny winced, “Ouch. What did you to deserve that?”

Rayne grimaced. “Forged my parent’s signatures and lied to them about where I had been going for a month.”

Bunny raised his eyebrows.

Rayne shrugged, “Yeah, I kinda deserved it.”

“I’ll say.” Bunny chuckled, “My parent’s have always said that as long as I kept my grades up and was straight up with them then I could have free reign.”

Rayne sat down on the couch. “I can’t argue with that. In hindsight, it seems ridiculous that I would ever lie to them. They’ve been so accepting about everything.”

“That’s awesome, Rayny.” Logan said sincerely, “I’m really happy for you.”

She smiled in thanks.

“Sooooo,” He began, “Are you Rayne full time now?”

She sighed again, “Oh, I wish. It’s not that simple though.”

He tilted his head, “Wanna talk ‘bout it?”

“I’ve, uh, kinda been talking about it all day.” She explained, “Don’t really wanna get back into it right now if that’s okay? Maybe another day?”

He smiled and nodded.

“Of course. Anytime you need to talk, just let me know.” He said, before quickly adding, “As long as it’s not about super girly girl stuff.”

Rayne laughed and reached over to punch his arm jokingly.

“I think I’ll have to kick your ass in some Smash Bros. for that!” She declared.

Logan looked at her in mock outrage, “Oh, you’re on girl!”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Catalina looked at her husband nervously. The family was sitting around the table, they had just finished dinner. Were they doing the right thing? The rest of the family needed to know. They couldn’t hide Rayne from them forever, especially now that she was growing more and more reluctant to present as Raymond. But what if they rejected her? Rayne would be heartbroken.

“Alright,” Grandpa Frank said, “Jameson, Catalina, you told us that you would tell us where the kids were at the dinner table right? So, lets hear it. Have they finally hit that age where they’re to cool to enjoy spending time with the family?” He smiled, signifying that he was just teasing.

Catalina forced herself to smile. She looked at her husband again. He smiled reassuringly.

“So, uh, do you remember a few weeks ago when we all watched that documentary with Evalyn?” Jameson asked hesitantly.

Jameson’s brother, Frank, furrowed his brow. “Yeah, that one about the weirdo boy who wanted to be a girl, right?” There were some nods, and a few chuckles from around the table. Only John frowned.

Catalina felt her temper flare. How could they be so callous? They didn’t know what Rayne was going through.

“She wasn’t a weirdo.” Catalina objected, keeping her voice level with effort, “She was transgendered.”

Frank Danahy Senior – Grandpa Frank – raised one eyebrow and looked at her, “Transgendered? You can’t be serious.” He scoffed, “He just wasn’t right in the head.” He shook his head in amusement.

“Frank.” Catalina said sharply, “You’re going to need to educate yourself. You all are.”

Her father-in-law looked at her like she’d grown a second head.

“What’s brought this on Catalina?” He asked her, clearly befuddled.

She took a deep breath and looked at her husband. He nodded and turned to look at his family.

“Mom, Dad,” He looked around, “Everyone. Raymond has come out to us as transgender. She’s going by Rayne now, and she’s going to need all of our support.”

The adults all wore shocked faces, except for John, who looked surprisingly unsurprised. The kids either didn’t understand or weren’t paying attention – with the exception of Mackenzie, who looked up from her phone in surprise.

Grandpa Frank snorted. “That’s ridiculous, that documentary we watched just put a silly idea in his head.”

“HER head. And No.” Catalina asserted. “It did NOT. In fact, it was actually the opposite.”

Now people’s faces were shifting from shock to confusion.

“Catalina, what do you mean it’s the opposite?” Olivia asked softly.

“The only person who knew about Rayne was Evalyn.” Catalina elaborated, “She wanted Rayne to tell us. But Rayne was to scared. Too scared of how we would react.”

She let that sit in the water for a moment.

“Evalyn convinced Rayne to have the whole family watch that documentary so that they could gauge our reactions in a safe way.” Catalina slowly looked at each of the adults in turn. “And we failed her. We reacted exactly how she feared we would.” Finally, she turned her eyes on her children’s grandfather. “Especially you Frank. She was so scared that she got sick.”

The room was dead quiet. The younger children didn’t understand what was happening, but they knew whatever it was, it was bad. Any trace of amusement on Frank Seniors face was gone. His expression was ice cold. Jameson squeezed her hand.

Finally, Frank took a deep breath. “This is ridiculous. Look, Raymond just needs to toughen up.”

Catalina opened her mouth to object, but Frank held up a hand to silence her.

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” Frank continued, “On Monday I’ll drive out to Lakewood and pick Raymond up. He can afford to miss one day of school. An old friend of mine is the foreman on a construction site on the edge of town. I’ll take Raymond out there, put him to work. Just something easy. Easy and safe. Show him what an honest day’s work looks like. He’ll even earn some money. Then, I’ll take him to the barber and we’ll shave off all that hair of his. Then we’ll swing by the school, get him out of art and into something practical. Like wood shop. Oh! And we’ll find a sports team for him! You two have just been too soft on the boy, but don’t worry, I’ll take care of this. I’ll man him up.”

He gave the two of them a warm smile. As if he was doing them a huge favor. As if they should be thankful. Show him gratitude. Catalina was aghast. Speechless.

“Loneliness. Isolation. Extreme anxiety. Increased risk of physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. Increased risk of substance abuse. Higher chances of inflicting self harm. Higher chances of seriously considering suicide.” Jameson was staring his father in the eye. Voice cold as ice. “And finally,” he continued, “A disproportionately high number – one third of all transgender youth, in fact – attempt suicide.”

He didn’t break eye contact. He was squeezing Catalina’s hand tightly.

“These are some statistics on transgender youth, Dad. And if there’s one thing that’s been proven, it’s that trying to ‘man him up’ to get the problem to go away will not help. It will make it worse. So, is that what you want, Dad? Do you want my daughter – Your Granddaughter – to try and kill herself?”

The silence was unearthly. A pin dropping would sound like the strike of a hammer.

Finally, Jameson continued, “Rayne didn’t come tonight because she could not bear to lie to you about who she was, but she was horrified at the thought of meeting most of you. Seb and Eva stayed home to support her. So, here’s what’s REALLY going to happen.” He said, matter-of-factly, “You don’t get to see Rayne. None of you do. For how long? I don’t know. Until you can be supportive, and love her for who she is. Not for who you want her to be. If that means you never see her again, then so be it. It will break her heart, but we will do whatever it takes to protect out little girl. You’ll still see me, Catalina, Seb, and Eva, but not quite as much, and maybe not all at the same time. It wouldn’t be right for us to leave Rayne alone to go see a family that’s disgusted by her existence.”

Catalina and Jameson took a long look at the family.

“B- but what about next weekend?” Olivia exclaimed, aghast, “It’s Thanksgiving. You can’t seriously plan on not coming. I already bought the turkey!”

“Are you serious?” Catalina scoffed, “After all this, thanksgiving is the first thing you think of? We’ll celebrate by ourselves. With our son and daughters. Who we are very, very thankful for.”

Jameson and Catalina shared a look, and stood to leave.

“We’ll be leaving now.” Catalina said, making an effort to keep her voice calm, “If any of you want to talk, call us. Not tonight though. Think about what we’ve said.”

As they prepared to leave Jonathan turned to Mackenzie, “I swear to God, if anything about your cousin get’s out, or ends up on social media I will snap your phone in half and ground you until you move out.”

She rolled her eyes. Jonathan grabbed her phone. “I’m serious Mackenzie. You could ruin Rayne’s life. You could kill her.”

She looked down at the table, “I won’t say anything Dad.”

Jameson and Catalina looked at each other. It hadn’t even occurred to them that Mackenzie might see this as just another piece of gossip. Thank goodness Jonathan did, and seemed to be on their side.

A thought struck Catalina. She turned back to the dinner table where the family remained in silence.

“Oh, by the way.” She started, “Rayne’s work is being featured in an art gallery next weekend. She’s one of only ten students out of hundreds in the greater Vancouver area to make it in. If any of you can get over yourselves by then, it would mean a lot to her to see you there. If and when we talk, we’ll decide if we can trust you with the details.”

They put on their jackets and shoes and headed out the door. No one saw them off. As they were getting into their vehicle Jonathan came running after them.

“Catalina! Jameson!” He called out. Catalina rolled down the passenger side window. Jonathan leaned against the door. “I just want to say, I’m in Rayne’s corner. I’ll make sure Mackenzie doesn’t say anything stupid, and I’ll talk to Lisa.”

“Thanks Johnathan.” Jameson sighed with relief. “It’s good to know Rayne has someone else in the family fighting for her.”

“Absolutely.” He agreed, “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. And at the very least, me and Lizzie will be at the gallery next weekend.”

After promising to talk in the coming days, they said their goodbyes and departed to pick up their daughter.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne was curled up on one corner of the sofa in the games room, watching the movie. On her left Grizz was fast asleep, his head and one paw sprawled across her lap. Past him was Logan, and in an arm chair to her right, his father, Jack. She had met Jack for the first time that afternoon. About an hour after she arrived. He was a nice man, didn’t even mention her… situation. That was a very nice change. He just treated her like any other teenage girl. It was him who suggested a movie, and Rayne who had requested Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Logan had told her that it was the motivation for his screen name, and she had heard lots of people quote the movie, but she had never actually seen it. Upon hearing she had never seen it, Jack had feigned outrage. He had ordered a pizza for dinner, and demanded that they turn off whatever silly game they were playing that instant.

That’s where they were now. The movie was winding down, she had seen Logan’s acclaimed ‘killer bunny’ scene. She didn’t think it was as funny as he did, but she understood his screenname now. They were getting to the final battle. King Arthur had amassed a huge army and was getting ready to charge. If this was the lord of the rings than an epic battle would ensue. Somehow, Rayne doubted that would happen. She was not disappointed.

“Wait, what?” She asked as the credits began to roll, “That’s how it ends?! They get arrested by the police?!”

Jack was howling. Logan laughed and nodded. Rayne joined them.

“Alright, alright,” Jack said, calming down, “I got a text about half an hour ago from Kate. Your folks are here Rayne.” He announced.

“Oh!” She jumped up. Startling Grizz awake. He gave another of his all too human groans before flopping back down.

“Relax.” He said, holding up a hand. “They’re having tea, we were told we could take our time and finish the movie.”

She smiled and reached down to pet the big dog.

“Shall we clean up and head up?” Jack asked.

Logan nodded and the three of them collected the garbage, recycling, and dishes from their meal. Then, arms loaded, they headed up the stairs. They found Katelyn and Rayne’s parents sitting around the kitchen table. They were talking, but stopped as the three of them walked in.

Her parents introduced themselves and shook Jack’s hand.

“Hey princess.” Jameson greeted, finally turning to her, “You have fun?”

“Tons!” She exclaimed cheerfully. Then she paused and bit her lip, suddenly nervous, “So, uh, how did it go?”

Her parents shared a look. That told her what she needed to know. It didn’t go well. If it had gone well they wouldn’t be hesitant. They would just tell her the good news. Her lip trembled. They still weren’t saying anything. Really bad then.

“Th- that bad, huh?” She mumbled, heart plummeting though the floor.

Catalina gave a small nod, and Jameson sighed heavily. “It could have gone better, but it could have gone worse too. Your Uncle Jonathan is on your side, and he’s going to talk to your Aunt Lisa and Mackenzie. Then maybe Aunt Lisa can talk to your Uncle Frank, and your grandparents. The rest of the kids were too young to understand.”

Her Uncle Johnathan? That was it? No one else was on her side? She wasn’t even really related to her Uncle Johnathan. He had married into the family. She swallowed back the tears. She didn’t want to cry. Not in front of her friend. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. In through the nose, out though the mouth.

She would get though this.

She would get though this.

She opened her eyes. Everyone was staring at her.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” her mother asked.

She nodded. “I’m good Mom.” She almost managed to say it without hey voice wavering. Almost.

“So, uh, guess our thanksgiving plans are shot, hey?” She asked her parents, trying to change the topic and lighten the mood.

“We’ll celebrate with out ‘em.” Catalina declared with exaggerated peppiness.

“Thanksgiving?” Katelyn asked, “That’s still over a month away, surely there’s a chance things will calm down by then.

Both families stared at each other blankly.

Understanding dawned on Jack’s face a moment later.

“Of course, I totally forgot.” He turned to his wife to elaborate, “In Canada thanksgiving is celebrated earlier than back home.”

Realization dawned simultaneously on everyone else’s face.

Katelyn clicked her tongue, “Suddenly it makes sense why there were so many turkeys at the grocery store today.”

Rayne immediately turned to her parents, “If we’re celebrating at home, can Logan and his family join us for thanksgiving?!”

Catalina smiled and looked from Rayne to Jameson. She shrugged at her husband. He shrugged back.

“I don’t see why not.” Jameson declared, “How about it? Jack? Katelyn? Would the two of you and Logan care to join us for thanksgiving next Monday?”

“Oh, we wouldn’t want to impose.” Katelyn began.

“It wouldn’t be an imposition at all!” Rayne insisted, “It’s make it so much nicer, we usually have a big thanksgiving with the whole family, but this year…

She trailed off as the conversation drifted back to darker tidings.

Jack and Katelyn shared a look.

“We’d love to come.” Jack declared, “But only if you’re sure it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“If it was too much trouble we wouldn’t have offered!” Jameson declared jokingly.

Both families joined each other in laughter.

“We should hit the road.” Jameson announced once everyone had control of themselves. Catalina nodded.

“Yeah,” Rayne said quietly, thoughts still lingering on her family and their rejection, “I’m really tired.”

She turned to Logan and his family. “Thank you so much for having me. I had a really good time.”

“It was our pleasure young lady.” Katelyn gushed. “And it won’t be long before you two get together again.”

Rayne nodded in agreement.

“We’ll talk soon.” Logan promised as he walked them to the door.
 

~o~O~o~
 
“So?! How did it… go?” Evalyn attacked them as soon as they walked in. Her enthusiasm died, mid-sentence, when she saw Rayne’s distraught face.

Jameson wrapped his arm around Rayne’s shoulder and pulled her close.

“As well as could be expected really.” Catalina answered with a shrug.

Evalyn looked at their mother sceptically.

Rayne remained silent.

“So, by ‘as well as could be expected’ you mean it went poorly.” Sebastian said flatly from where he stood behind Evalyn.

Catalina frowned and nodded.

“Don’t worry about them, sweetie.” Jameson suggested, looking down at Rayne, “They’ll come around. It might take some of them a while, but they will come around.”

Rayne wasn’t so sure.

“Okay, well, how did the appointment with the doctor go then?” Evalyn asked, trying to change the subject to something that was hopefully less sensitive.

Rayne forced a smile.

“That, at least, went well.” Jameson declared.

“Very well I think, hmm?” He inquired, nudging Rayne.

“Yeah.” She said quietly, nodding almost imperceptibly. “I, uh, I’m really tired. Is it okay if I go to bed?”

“Of course, baby.” Catalina replied after a moment passed.

Rayne slipped from her father’s side, and ascended to her room. Once she was behind her locked door she sighed with relief. She did not want to talk. She did not want to be around anyone. She didn’t even want to think. She needed a distraction. She had told her family she was going to bed, but going to bed would leave her alone with her thoughts. She didn’t want to think. Thinking was scary right now. She sat down at her desk and pulled her sketchbook out of her bag. Drawing technically required thinking, but it was a different kind of thinking. A freeing kind. A kind that would allow her to escape, even if just for a while.

She stared at a blank page for a minute. What to draw? She glanced at her bookshelf. It was filled with both books and games. Nowhere near as many as Bunny’s collection. There were also some knickknacks. A picture of her whole family on her father’s side. The picture was taken just over a year ago. The family had gone on a big camping trip. Everyone was there, all her aunts and uncles, all her cousins.

Inspiration stuck.

An idea. An idea for a big piece. She chewed on the back of her pencil. If she did a draft tonight, and started the real thing tomorrow, could she finish it in time? She had a week until the art show. If she worked on it during all her free time, she might just make it.

Smiling, she took her pencil in hand, and set it to the paper.

---

---

Aaaaaaaah!

Two late chapters in a row?! What is the world coming to?!

Welp. Not much I can do about it now.

Hey all, Flummox here.

I’ve been sick for the past week, hence this chapter’s lateness. So yeah. Sorry ‘bout that.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I’d love to hear from you, whether that’s in a comment or a message. I do my best to reply to everything.

I think I caught most of the errors, but please don't hesitate to point out any I missed.

Hope you’re all doing well, and thanks so much for taking the time to read.

Be well,

Flummox

---

A Blank Page
Chapter 18
By Flummox

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“Do you think we could run to the store for a bit today?” Rayne asked as she walked into the kitchen, “Just to Walmart or something. I won’t be long.”

Her mother paused, coffee mug halfway to her lips. Her father looked up from the morning newspaper, his expression bemused.

“Good morning to you too, Rayne.” Her mother replied sarcastically, “I slept wonderfully, thanks for asking. How about yourself?”

Rayne smiled and rolled her eyes. Jameson chuckled and turned back to his paper.

“Good morning. Slept great. Soooooo?”

“You seem to be feeling a lot better.” Jameson observed, still staring at his paper.

“Yup!” She bubbled, “I got a great idea last night! Soooooo, store?”

Catalina sighed, “What do you need at the store?”

“A big piece of paper!”

“Is this for a school project?” Jameson asked under a raised eyebrow.

“Nope! It’s for art!” She declared excitedly.

“Can’t you just get paper from school tomorrow?” Catalina asked.

“I mean, yeah I cooould.” Rayne acknowledged, “But that doesn’t help me todaaaay.”

Jameson rubbed his brow with his thumb and forefinger.

“Aren’t you supposed to be grounded?” Jameson asked tiredly.

“Only from games, internet, and my phone.” Rayne petitioned.

“And going out, outside of school and family outings.” Catalina reminded her.

Rats. Leave it to the lawyer to remember the fine print.

“Please? Um, we could make a family outing out of it?”

Jameson and Catalina looked at each other for a long moment.

“It’s for the art show next weekend.” Rayne pleaded.

“I’ll take her if you guys okay it. I was gonna swing by the sportcheck anyways.”

Rayne whipped around. Sebastian stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall.

Jameson and Catalina shared another long look. Jameson rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Okay fine.” Catalina agreed, “But you go to the mall, then you come home. Understand?”

“I understand!” Rayne agreed excitedly.

“Did I hear someone say MALL?!” Evalyn’s voice bellowed from the living room. “I’m coming!”

Now it was Sebastian’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Sure.” He called back, “But if you expect me to wait while you two go clothes shopping I’ll leave ya behind.”

“No, you won’t.” Jameson interjected.

Evalyn laughed as she walked in to join them.

“You’re right Daddio.” She agreed smugly, “He won’t. He’s much too protective to leave his precious sisters behind.”

“Mmmmmhmm.” Catalina agreed, taking a sip of her coffee.

Sebastian frowned and rolled his eyes again.

“I for one,” Rayne began, walking over to wrap an arm around his waist, “Love and appreciate how protective you are.”

Evalyn waved her hand though the air, “Oh shush. Of course I appreciate it too, Ms. Goody two-shoes.”

Rayne laughed and raised an eyebrow, “You’re calling the sibling who’s been grounded for a month for forging signatures and lying about her whereabouts the goody two-shoes? You’re the one who can’t even BE grounded because your favorite pastime is studying.”

The whole family laughed while Evalyn frowned and looked up at the roof in contemplation.

Evalyn scratched her chin. “She has a point, doesn’t she?”

“It’s ridiculous.” Jameson burst into mock outrage, “How do we ground you when all you do is study? We ground you from going out with friends, you don’t even try to sneak out. You stay home and study more. Happily.”

He shook his head, feigning frustration. Catalina patted his hand comfortingly.

“She is truly a challenging child to raise.” She said mournfully, “If only she was as easy to punish as the other two.”

The family broke into more laughter, then the kids departed to get ready.

Half an hour later they were walking out the door.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne walked through the doors of the Lakewood mall with her siblings. Calling it a mall was a small exaggeration. It was really only a small collection of stores connected by a hall. Really, it was to be expected for a small town like Lakewood. It was also why most people would usually make the drive to Mountsview or Vancouver for any real shopping. None the less, it was a favorite hangout for kids from the whole town. Something that had completely slipped Rayne’s mind in her excitement.

Her feet were suddenly rooted to the floor. Sebastian and Evalyn kept walking.

“Alright.” Sebastian announced, “Should we split up? Get our shopping done then meet up at The Big Scoop for some ice cream? My treat!”

“Seb.” Evalyn nudged their brother, glancing back at Rayne.

“Huh? What?” Sebastian glanced back. “Oh! Uh, maybe on second thought we stick together?”

Rayne nodded rapidly. She uprooted her feet and moved to catch up with her siblings.

“Where to first?” Sebastian asked, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

“We can do mine last.” Rayne said, “I’d rather not be carrying it around everywhere.”

“That’s probably for the best.” Evalyn agreed, “I imagine it’d be harder to paint, or draw, or whatever on crumpled paper.”

“Yup!” Rayne agreed, enthusiasm slowly trickling back into her voice.

“Okay cool.” Sebastian nodded, “I just need to pop into the sportcheck, how about you Eva?”

“Eh, I don’t need to go anywhere in particular.” At their baffled stares she elaborated, “Oh, please. You think this sad excuse for a mall would have anything for my sophisticated tastes?”

Rayne giggled, Sebastian sighed heavily.

“Sportcheck it is then.” He declared, turning himself – and by extension Rayne – in the right direction.

Sportcheck wasn’t far. Just two stores down in fact. They strolled up together, Sebastian only taking his arm off his sister’s shoulders when they arrived.

“Coming in or waiting here?” He asked before entering.

“We’ll come.” Rayne immediately answered, staying close to her brother’s side.

“Well, I suppose Rayne decided for me.” Evalyn teased.

Rayne looked at her sister and stuck out her tongue.

Laughing, Sebastian led them into the store. He didn’t take long. True to his word he didn’t need much, and what he did need he knew exactly where to find. They stepped up to the till to checkout, when a voice called out.

“Sebastian! Evalyn!”

The siblings looked up as one. Standing on the other side of the checkout – just outside of the store – was a teenager in a football jacket. Rayne recognized him from the school team. One of her brother’s friends. She didn’t remember his name. She wasn’t exactly trying to remember though, she was too busy trying to hide behind Sebastian.

“What’s up guys?!” He called out, now that he had their attention.

Sebastian glanced from Rayne to the boy, then to Evalyn, then back to the boy.

“Not much Calv.” He called back, “Just doing some shopping. S’up with you?”

Evalyn was at Rayne’s side immediately, “Don’t panic.” Rayne heard her whisper.

“Not much man.” The boy – Rayne now remembered his name was Calvin – Bellowed back as Sebastian went about paying for his purchase, “Just chillin’. You know how it is.”

“Yeah man.” Sebastian said as he picked up his bags. A simple task made awkward with Rayne still trying to hide behind him as much as possible.

“So, what you up to now?” Calvin asked as they approached. “S’up, Eva?” he added, greeting her for the first time. He hadn’t even seemed to have noticed Rayne yet. Not that she minded.

“Hey Calvin.” She greeted. “We were just gonna-

“Oh! One sec,” he interrupted. “HEY GUYS! LOOK WHO I FOUND!”

Rayne followed his gaze across the hallway. There, coming out of a clothing store, were several more members of the football team, along with some of their girlfriends and other friends. If Rayne was scared before, now she was terrified.

The group of teenagers immediately changed directions when they saw Sebastian and Evalyn.

“Shit.” Rayne heard Evalyn curse under her breath.

“Eva, what do we do?” Rayne whispered.

“Just, uh, be cool.” She whispered back.

“I’ve never been able to be cool!” Rayne hissed back.

It was to late to say anything else. The group had reached them.

Rayne only recognized a few of them. Of the three footballers she recognized Jackson, the other two each had an arm around one of the girls, Hannah and Samantha. Rayne recognized them as cheerleaders and friends of Evalyn’s. There was another tagalong guy who seemed to be trying to get close to a girl Rayne didn’t recognize – a girl who seemed to have no interest in the guy. This girl really stood out too, she was clad all in black from hair to clothes. She wore heavy makeup and had a few streaks of color in her raven hair.

“Hannah! Sammy! Jenna!” Evalyn gushed, rushing over to give each of the girls a hug.

Sebastian just nodded to the guys.

Jackson was the only one who acknowledged Rayne. He just smiled and gave a small wave.

She gave a small wave back. If a flick of her hand could really be called a wave.

“So, what are you guys up to?” Hannah asked once things had calmed down a bit.

“Oh, uh,” Sebastian began hesitantly, “We were just gonna hit up the big scoop, then swing by Walmart and go home.” He finished his sentence with a grunt as Evalyn elbowed him in the ribs.

He looked at her with annoyance.

“Idiot.” She seethed under her breath.

The exchange was missed by their newfound company. They other teens were too busy declaring that they would join them to notice.

Realization flashed across Sebastian’s face, but the damage had been done.

Moments later they were being ushered down the hallway towards The Big Scoop. A long-established ice cream café. It had doors into both the mall and to the outdoors. There was even a deck for patrons to enjoy their cold snacks under the sun.

Luckily, teenagers are not always the most observant bunch, and Rayne managed to mostly avoid detection for the walk over. Unluckily, she did not manage to stay under the radar long.

“Who’s that girl?” The tagalong boy asked, staring right at Rayne, “She’s been following us since Sportcheck.”

Rayne paled as the attention of the entire group shifted directly on to her.

She tried to say something, but all that came out was a small squeak. Rayne blushed furiously.

One of the girls giggled, some of the guys looked like they were about to laugh. That changed when Sebastian threw a protective arm over her shoulder.

Jackson turned on the group.

“She wasn’t following us, George.” He began, identifying the tagalong boy, “Really, we were following her. Seb, Eva, and Rayne were already on their way here when we joined up with them.”

Unbridled confusion rolled across many a face.

“Rayne?” One of the other football players asked.

“Yes. This is Rayne.” Evalyn continued, waving a hand towards her sister. “She’s our li’l cousin. She’s in town visiting from Nova Scotia.”

“O- Oh.” George said, suddenly awkward.

How did Evalyn do it? How could she come up with a story so fast? It was close enough to fact to be believable too. People knew that they had family out east. They used to go visit them every year. It wasn’t even a stretch to think that that family might come west for once.

“Oh wow!” Samantha exclaimed, “What’s Nova Scotia like?! I’ve always wanted to see the ocean!”

“Yeah,” her boyfriend chipped in sarcastically, “Because it’s not like the ocean is just a few hours away from us.”

“I meant the Atlantic Ocean, Mike. You big dummy.” She said, punching his shoulder gently.

Rayne giggled, her fear slowly slipping away. “It’s really not much different. It’s still very wet. The water is just to the east instead of the west.”

Samantha seemed disappointed. “That sucks. I always dreamed of backpacking across Canada. Starting with my feet in the Pacific Ocean and ending with them in the Atlantic.”

“Oh wow!” Rayne exclaimed, “That’s such a cool idea!”

Samantha still looked unsure, “You really think so?”

“No.” Mike answered, voice once again dripping sarcasm, “Why not just fly?”

Samantha looked hurt.

“Becaaaause,” Rayne interjected, acting as if she were talking to a small child. “By doing it her way she gets to see all of Canada! Meet tons of people! What an experience that would be!”

“Yeah.” Evalyn agreed before giggling, and tapping Rayne on the nose, “Too bad you’re much too shy to ever go out by yourself and do that.”

“I could to!” Rayne insisted. “I just, um, might need you to come with me is all.”

Rayne blushed and looked away as people chuckled.

“NEXT!” The cashier hollered, drawing the groups attention. One by one, each went to the till and placed their order.

Finally, Rayne and her siblings were stepping up.

“Three double big scoops.” Sebastian requested, drawing out his wallet.

“Flavors?” The bored looking teenager behind the counter asked.

“I’ll have chocolate fudge.” Sebastian said, then turned to look at his sisters.

“Strawberry for me.” Evalyn declared.

“Um, Cherry please?” Rayne asked quietly.

The cashier nodded his head. Sebastian paid, and the three of them rejoined the rest of the group waiting for their orders.

“So, Rayne,” Jackson began, “How long are you in town for?”

Oh. That was a question. How long was she supposed to be in town for? And why was Sebastian glaring at Jackson? That didn’t matter right now. Quick. What should she say? What would Evalyn say? Evalyn was always so quick to answer. How did she always come up with answers when she was put on the spot? Jeeze.

“Oh, umm, f- for a while I think.” She answered hesitantly.

For a while? She thinks? What kind of answer was that? Who didn’t know how long they were staying for? At least one of the other teenagers would certainly reject that-

“You think?” Hannah asked sceptically.

“Uhhhh, um.” Rayne looked at Evalyn for help.

“It’s kinda private.” Evalyn said, diving right in. “Things are a bit complicated back with her family right now. Rayne is staying with us until things settle down.”

“Oh. Okay.” Hannah accepted Evalyn’s explanation without question.

“Well, what about school?” Jenna asked, “You look younger than us.”

Evalyn opened her mouth to answer for her.

“Um, on- online courses!” Rayne quickly said, her mind moving quickly for once.

Evalyn smiled and nodded.

“Online courses?” The Jenna asked, “That’s a thing?”

“It totally is!” The last unidentified boy exclaimed, “I was reading that there’s a high school in Alberta that’s completely self directed! They use online courses and laptops for a ton of the work!”

Jackson laughed, “Wow! I’m impressed! I didn’t even know you knew HOW to read, Tim!”

The whole group laughed. The boy, now identified as Tim, looked aghast.

“O’course I know how to read.” He defended, “I just don’t like to much is all.”

“That’s understandable.” Rayne said, nodding her head. “From the sound of things, I’m guessing you don’t speak much either?” She asked sarcastically, teasing him for his poor grammar.

Tim’s jaw dropped as the group howled.

“Niiiiiiice one.” Jackson drawled, holding his hand up for a high five. After a moments hesitation, Rayne gently slapper her hand into his.

“Cherry double big scoop!” A voice called a moment later. Rayne turned to the counter where a girl was holding out her ice cream cone. Rayne took it with a quick thank you and turned back to the group. With her ice cream claimed, the whole group had been served. Sebastian nodded his head towards the doors to the patio, and the whole group followed his lead.

Everyone ate their ice cream in relative silence. It was a sunny day out, and while summer had passed, it was still a nice temperature for the cold treat. With winter fast approaching, there likely wouldn’t be many days like this left in the year.

“So,” George began as everyone was wrapping up, “What do you guys wanna do now?”

“Nothing.” Sebastian said flatly. “We promised the folks that we’d just go to the mall then home, and we still gotta swing by Wally World.”

Tim nodded, “Yeah, me and my dad are-

Rayne closed her eyes and sighed as loudly as she could. Everyone turned to look at her.

“My dad and I.” She corrected, rubbing her brow and feigning exasperation. “I swear, what are they teaching you kids in English class these days?”

Tim’s eyebrows blasted off into space as his jaw dropped. The rest of the group laughed.

Rayne opened her eyes and looked at Tim. “Trying to catch a fly or something?”

His mouth snapped shut.

“Now why don’t you try that again?” Rayne asked.

“My dad and I,” Tim began, staring at the group hesitantly. They seemed to be hanging off his every word, just waiting for him to misspeak. “My dad and I are planning on going fishing soon.” He finished.

Rayne started clapping overenthusiastically.

“Good job li’l buddy!” She gushed, “You did it!”

“God damnit.” Tim facepalmed as the group laughed,

“Damn, Rayne. You’re on roll!” Sebastian said between laughs.

The group walked back into the store, and from there the mall. It was almost unanimously decided to part ways, so after a quick goodbye they did so.

“So, that went well.” Evalyn probed cautiously as Rayne led them though the doors of Walmart.

“Yeah!” Rayne exclaimed, “I was really scared at first, but none of them recognized me! Well, except for Jackson, but he’s seen me before.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian agreed, “You were even coming out of your shell and joking around a bit.”

“I just hope I didn’t take it too far with teasing Tim.” She mumbled, suddenly worried. She wasn’t really one to talk about the challenges of talking. She hated it when people pointed out her nervous stutter, this really wasn’t much different. Suddenly she felt horrible. She had been so concerned with fitting in and acting like a normal teen that she had gotten carried away. What if she had made Tim feel the same way the bullies at school always made her feel?

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about Tim.” Sebastian replied, waving a hand through the air. “He’s pretty thick skinned.”

“I hope so.” Rayne nodded. They had arrived at the arts and crafts section. After a moment of assessment, she plucked a large piece of paper off the shelf.

“This should do.” She approved.

“Need anything else?” Evalyn asked.

“Just to get home!” Rayne replied happily, skipping back down the aisle.

They walked together to the checkout, then Rayne suddenly stopped.

“You okay, Rayne?” Sebastian asked.

She bit her lip and looked at him.

“I don’t have any money.” She said innocently.

He rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand while Evalyn laughed.

Sebastian sighed and dug out his wallet as he walked past her, “C’mon squirt. I’ve got you today.”

Rayne giggled and moved to catch up. Together they paid for her goods and departed for Sebastian’s car.

As they made their way across the parking lot, Rayne spotted Tim. He was sitting on a bench alone, looking at his phone. Before she knew what she was doing, Rayne had shoved her paper into Evalyn’s hands.

“What are-”

“Be right back!” Rayne called as she quickly ran across the parking lot.

Tim looked up at her as she jogged up. Suddenly she was at a loss for words. She didn’t have the safety blanket that was her brother and sister’s presence. She bit her lip nervously.

“Hey,” Tim greeted, looking confused, “Rayne, right?”

She nodded.

“I, uh, I just wanted to say s- sorry if I took things too far earlier.” She apologized nervously.

He scrunched his eyes up in confusion.

“Oh!” He started in realization, “You mean at the ice cream shop?”

“Y- yeah,” She answered hesitantly, “I, um, I stutter sometimes. When I get really nervous, or, uh, shy.”

She blushed and looked away.

“It really embarrasses me sometimes when people point it out, and, uh, I just wanted to say sorry if I made you feel that way.” She forced herself to look back at him. He was smiling.

“That’s sweet of you Rayne, but you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it.” He told her gently, “I thought it was hilarious.”

“Y- you did?”

“Pffft, oh yeah.” He piped, “I make a point of not taking myself to seriously. We’re cool.”

“Cool.” Rayne echoed, “It was nice meeting you then.”

“See ya around.” He waved, looking back down at his phone.

Feeling unburdened, Rayne turned to rejoin her siblings. And walked straight into Jackson.

“Careful there.” He said, grinning.

“O- oh. Hey Jackson.”

“Hey Rayne.” He returned, falling in beside her as she started walking towards where Sebastian and Evalyn stood waiting by the former’s car.

“So,” He began confidently as they walked, “I was wondering if you wanted to do something sometime?”

She glanced at him, “D- do something? Like what?”

He folded his hands behind his head as they walked, “I don’t know. Go see a movie? Maybe get dinner?”

“Umm, who all would be going?” She asked, with a sneaking suspicion of where this was going.

He chuckled, “Well I was thinking it would just be the two of us.”

She stopped. He turned to look at her. She bit her lip. Was he asking what she thought he was asking? She didn’t know how to respond. Sebastian had mentioned that Jackson might have a crush on her the previous week, but so much had been happening she hadn’t thought much about it. She couldn’t stand here thinking forever though. Screw it. No sense in beating around the bush.

“A- are you asking me on a date?” She asked hesitantly, heart hammering.

“Yeah.” He replied instantly. Confidently. No hesitation on his end. Her heart leapt into her throat. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish.

“Is that okay?” He continued, smiling brightly. Jeeze, how did someone manage to smile brightly? Most people just smiled. But Jackson’s smile, it was bright.

“I- I mean, um, I g- guess it’s okay to- to ask.” She mumbled, looking away, “B- but, um-“

“I get that things are confusing right now.” He interjected.

“Y- you do?” She inquired.

“I know he’s not really your cousin,” Jackson continued, “But Sebastian mentioned that things were complicated.”

“Did he now?” She inquired again, shooting an annoyed glance at Sebastian – who, along with Evalyn, was now walking swiftly towards them. What could he have said?

“Yeah,” Jackson continued, oblivious, “So I just wanna say there’s no pressure, you don’t even have to give me an answer now. Just think about it. I’m a good listener, and I can keep a secret.” He glanced at the rapidly approaching, protective ‘cousin’. “Anyways, I should prooooooobably be going.”

Rayne didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even say goodbye as he threw her a wave, turned, and jogged away.

“What the fuck did he just say?” Sebastian snarled as he and Evalyn reached her.

“He, uh, he… uh, he asked me on a date.” Rayne stammered.

Rayne received two opposite reactions simultaneously.

“That’s so exciting!” Evalyn squealed.

“That ASSHOLE.” Sebastian spat, “I fucking told him. I told him to back off.”

“Oh yeah?” Rayne asked, putting her hands on her hips, “What else did you tell him?”

Evalyn’s excitement was something equally scary, but that could be addressed later.

Evalyn turned on Sebastian a split second after their younger sister.

“What DID you tell him?” She accused.

Sebastian instantly flipped from pissed to defensive.

“Nothing! I swear!” He pled, throwing his hands up defensively.

“That,” Rayne objected, pointing across the parking lot in the direction Jackson had gone, “Didn’t sound like nothing.”

“Look,” Sebastian began, rubbing his head, “He’s been interested in you since the moment he first saw you. He’s been asking about you for weeks. Last week I asked him to back off for a while, and that I would introduce you to him when things were better.”

“Oh,” Rayne said, initial fears of being outed relieved, new fears arising, “So you were just going to set me up with your friend? After what we talked about last week?”

“No!” Sebastian bleated, aghast. “I just told him that if he backed off, then later – and only if you were okay with it – I would introduce him to you.”

“O- oh.” Rayne deflated. She should have known. Like overly protective Sebastian would ever try and set her up. “S- sorry. I may have overreacted a bit.”

“Waaait a second.” Evalyn backpedalled, “What DID you two talk about last week?”

“Uhhhhhh,” Rayne stalled.

“Our sister is confused about her sexuality.” Sebastian stated bluntly.

“Seb!” Rayne gasped, horrified.

“What?” He asked plainly, “We all know you would have told her eventually anyways – probably sooner than later too.”

“This is fact.” Evalyn agreed, “And what do you mean confused?”

Rayne blushed furiously, “I, uh, well- can we just talk about this in the car?”

Sebastian shrugged and nodded.

“Fine.” Evalyn agreed, “But don’t think I’ll drop it that quickly.”

Rayne rolled her eyes. Since when did Evalyn ever drop anything before she was ready to?

They walked the short distance to Sebastian’s car. Normally Sebastian and Evalyn would sit in the front together, and Rayne would get the back to herself. Clearly today wasn’t normal, because Rayne found herself being pushed over to make room for Evalyn. They buckled up, and as soon as Sebastian pulled away Evalyn turned on her.

“So.” She demanded, “Confused?”

Rayne rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know if I like guys or girls, okay?” She mumbled, looking at her fidgeting hands.

“So, you’re bisexual?” Evalyn asked.

“I don’t know what I am!” Rayne snapped, turning to look out the window with a huff.

“I don’t understand.” Evalyn said, ignoring Rayne’s outburst.

Rayne sighed heavily. “When I think about before all this started, when I was Raymond, I can’t figure out if I liked girls or was just fascinated by the idea of being one.”

“Okay.” Evalyn nodded, “And how does Rayne feel?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed heavily, “Everything’s so confusing right now. I’m still not sure if I like girls or if I just like being a girl.”

“And how do you feel about boys?”

Rayne shrugged helplessly.

“Okaaaay,” Evalyn continued slowly, “Then how did you feel when Jackson asked you out?”

Rayne didn’t say anything. She thought back. Her heart had hammered. She’d gotten a knot in her tummy. She’d lost her voice. She also remembered something about admiring how bright he looked. That thought made her blush.

“Oooooooh,” Evalyn cooed, “Someone’s got a crush.”

“No!” Rayne squealed, covering her face. “It’s not like that.”

Evalyn giggled.

After a moment Rayne uncovered her face to see Sebastian staring at her in the mirror, one eyebrow raised.

“Then what is it like?” he asked, voice amused.

Rayne groaned and covered her face again.

“You guys always gang up on me.” She pouted.

Evalyn laughed and leaned over to wrap an arm around her.

“You know we’re just teasing.” She said lightly.

Thankfully, they dropped the issue then. Their conversation did give Rayne some things to think about, however. Did she have a crush on Jackson? He was always nice to her, he was even nice to Raymond. He was athletic like her brother, and he was certainly handsome. Other than that, she didn’t know whole a lot about him though.

When they arrived home Rayne wasted no time, and ran up the stairs to her room. She closed the door behind her and sat down at her desk. She took a moment to carefully select a pencil, and she flipped the pages of her sketchbook to the rough draft. Her last act of preparation was to grab the original reference material off her book shelf and set it in front of her. With light, delicate stokes, she began her initial lines. She was planning on painting for this piece, but it still didn’t hurt to have some guideline drawn out.

While she worked she thought about the mall encounter. She thought she had done surprisingly well. She didn’t cower or hide behind her siblings, or at least she didn’t the whole time. The other teenagers had actually seemed like they liked her! And for once it didn’t seem like that was just because of her association with Sebastian or Evalyn. That brought her mind back to Jackson. She knew, at the very least, that Jackson liked her. Did she like him? Well, yes. She liked him. But did she like like him? Why was sexuality and gender so damn confusing?

A thought occurred to her.

Yesterday at her appointment with Doctor Mathews. He had mentioned an LGBTQ youth support group in Lakewood. The thought of going to see and talk to other teenagers without the support of her brother or sister had scared her at first, but things had gone well today. Maybe she should give it a shot. It was the second and fourth Tuesday of every month if she recalled correctly. That meant the day after tomorrow. She had a bit of time to decide yet.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Monday morning Evalyn gave Rayne – Boring Raymond really – A ride to school, as was the norm. What was abnormal, however, was arriving 20 minutes earlier then usual. Rayne insisted that she needed to talk to Ms. Mira as soon as possible. Raymond found her in the art room, preparing for the days classes.

“Good morning, Raymond.” She greeted cheerfully, “How was your weekend?”

“Mostly good.” He answered honestly, “And yourself?”

“Busy.” She groaned, “between grading and prepping for the show next weekend it felt like I barely had a weekend!”

“Oh no, that’s not good.” Raymond replied, concerned.

Ms. Mira waved his concern away with a hand.

“Oh, I’ll be fine.” She said lightheartedly, “I like the work so it’s not bad. Anyways, what brings you here this early?”

“Oh, right!” Raymond started, regaining his train of thought, “Um, I started a new piece last night. If I work really hard and finish it before Saturday, would it be too late by then to have it in the gallery?”

Ms. Mira thought for a moment.

“I’ll talk to Berny. I’m sure we can make something work.”

Raymond smiled brightly

“But!” Ms. Mira continued, recapturing his attention, “If we do, you have to make sure it’s something extra good, okay?”

Raymond laughed lightly, “I’ll do my best. Is it okay if I take some supplies home to work on it?”

“Of course.” Ms. Mira nodded, gesturing to the supply cabinet, “Help yourself, just let me know everything you take.”

Raymond quickly raided the supply cabinet, grabbing various paints and brushes of different sizes. As he went he made a list, which he turned into Ms. Mira before leaving.

He stepped into the hall and froze.

Halfway down the hall there was a group of people. Several students, and one teacher.

Mr. McMan.

So much had been going on the past few days that Raymond had completely forgotten that Mr. McMan returned today.

Raymond swallowed nervously, then turned and quickly walked in the other direction. He ducked down the first hallway. It was a small detour, but he was early anyways, so taking the long way to home room wouldn’t be a big deal.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The morning passed by peacefully. Raymond attended classes, focusing hard on getting as much done as possible so he could maximise the amount of time he had to work on his new art project at home. As was agreed upon, he went to the library for his gym class. With his ankle still being quite sore, he could look forward to missing gym for at least a few weeks. He buckled down and got most of his homework done for the day, leaving the library feeling quite satisfied with what he had accomplished. At lunch, he headed to Ms. Reid’s office.

“Good afternoon Raymond.” She greeted when he stuck his head through the open door.

“Hi Ms. Reid.” He returned, stepping into the room.

After he had closed the door behind him and taken a seat, Ms. Reid set aside what she was working on and looked at him expectantly.

“How was your weekend?” She asked, folding her hands in front of her.

“Mostly good.” He replied, “And you?”

“Excellent, thank you.” She returned. Smiling, she continued, “Would you care to elaborate on yours? How did everything go?”

“Well,” Raymond began, rubbing his chin, “The appointment with Doctor Mathews went great. I was sooooo nervous at first, but he really made me feel comfortable.”

Ms. Reid nodded, “I’m glad to hear that.”

“It’s what came afterward that went poorly.” Raymond continued.

“Oh?” Ms. Reid probed, concern etching itself across her face.

“Mom and Dad told the rest of the family about me.” Raymond explained weakly. “It didn’t go over well.”

“I see.” Ms. Reid said gently, “How did you feel about that first of all? Your parent’s telling them I mean?”

“Well I didn’t want them to at the time, and I still wish they hadn’t, but they insisted it was necessary and that sooner was better.”

“That’s understandable. Both how you felt, and how they felt.”

Raymond nodded. “We talked about it, and I could see where they were coming from. Dad didn’t want to lie to his family any more then I did. And even though I was scared they’d reject me, they could never really accept me either. Not until they knew everything.”

Ms. Reid nodded her agreement. “Did they all react poorly?”

“I wasn’t actually there to see for myself.” Raymond explained, pursing his lips and looking at the floor, “I was too scared to even face them.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of Raymond.” Ms. Reid consoled him, “It’s understandable to be scared, and you’re just a teenager. No one expects you to vanquish all of your fears over night.”

Raymond’s eyes rose to meet hers once again. He nodded and gave a small smile.

They talked for a while more before agreeing to part ways for the day.

“Now Raymond,” Ms. Reid began as he rose to leave, “Since you’re going to be seeing Dr. Mathews on a regular basis, you don’t need to come see me every week any more.”

She let that sink in for a moment.

“Now with that said,” she continued, “if you’d like to, we can continue our weekly sessions. Alternatively, we can also just meet whenever you need someone to talk to. My door is always open. How do you feel about that?”

Raymond pondered what she had said for a moment before nodding. “Okay, no more scheduled sessions works for me. I’m just glad I’ll still have someone to talk to in the school if I need it.”

Ms. Reid smiled and nodded her agreement.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me Ms. Reid.” Raymond finished softly.

“It’s what I’m here for.” She returned light heartedly.

He turned to leave.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The rest of lunch went by easily, as did a few more classes. It wasn’t until Raymond was walking to his last class of the day, religion class, that he began to panic. He had heard someone say Mrs. Cimonie was back today too. And now he would have to face her. He walked into class. He froze in the doorway.

There she was.

But she wasn’t alone.

Standing next to her was the principal, Mrs. Clarke.

And next to Mrs. Clarke stood a short, bald man. He wore the vestments of a priest. Raymond recognized him as Father Mckindly. He was the pastor of the Lakewood church. He routinely ordained over any masses the school held as well.

“Take a seat Raymond.” Mrs. Clarke called to him from where she stood.

Realizing he was standing in the middle of the door, Raymond hastily walked to a corner seat at the back of the room. As he sat down, he focused on his breathing and not letting his nerves rule him. What could this be about? Obviously, it was related to class last week.

“Good afternoon class.” Mrs. Clarke began once the entire group was seated. “It has come to our attention that last Tuesday some things were said in class that left some of you uncomfortable, and frankly, were not accurate. I have invited Father Mckindley to speak to your class today, to give a more correct answer.”

She turned to the priest, “Father Mckindley, if you would?”

The priest shuffled forward.

“Good afternoon children.” He greeted warmly, oblivious to the fact that a group of teenagers might reject the idea of being called children.

He looked around the room with a soft smile.

“I understand that one of you placed a question in your…”

He turned to Mrs. Clarke.

“Question box.” She provided.

“Ah, yes. Your question box.” He continued, “This question asked how being transgender worked with the church and Christianity.”

He looked around meaningfully.

“First and foremost. Let it be known that identifying as transgender, or homosexual for that matter, does not make you a bad person in any way, shape, or form. Nor will it be ‘inviting Satan to take over’ or however your teacher put it. God, Jesus, and the church, loves you as you are. You will not be denied your place in the Kingdom of God over your orientation, no matter what some people might say.”

Hushed whispers were passed between students. Father Mckindley looked around meaningfully.

“Now, with that said,” He continued solemnly, “God is infallible, and his creations are perfect. Who you are today, is the you God intended you to be. Your body need not define your personality, nor your personality your body.”

He turned to look at their teacher.

“Sarah? If you would.” He ushered her forward.

Mrs. Cimonie stepped in front of the class, blushing lightly at her first name being used in front of her students.

“I apologize for what I said last week class. It is not my place to speak on the views and stance of the church as a whole. I mistakenly answered last weeks question with my own – misguided – beliefs, when the question was asking for the churches. In the study of religion and our quest to deepen our faith and connection with God, even I am still a student, with much to still to learn.”

She turned to look at Father Mckindley, searching for his approval.

He gave it with a smile and a nod before stepping forward again. “Now class, what do you say? Can you find it in yourselves to forgive Sarah, your fellow student before God?”

The teacher pursed her lips at being placed on the same level as her students, but said nothing.

The class nodded, there were a few mumbled ‘yeses’. Raymond gave the smallest of nods himself. He could forgive her for what she said, he may never like or trust her, but he could forgive her. It was like she said, her own beliefs were misguided. Someone probably taught her what she believed when she was their age. He couldn’t really fault her for it.

The Father nodded. “Now, with that taken care of, I would be happy to stick around for the rest of your class to answer any other questions you might have. Alternatively, you can always find me at the Lakewood Catholic Church. My door is always open if you need to talk.”

The rest of class passed normally. Raymond doodled in his sketchbook, contemplating the priest’s words. So according to the church he wasn’t evil. He already knew that, but it was good to know that the church did too. But claiming he was perfect just the way he was? That was wrong. If their God was as perfect or infallible as Father Mckindley claimed, then she would have been born Rayne. Not Raymond. Either that or their God was an asshole and had intentionally made her wrong. Wanted her to suffer. She didn’t know which it was, and it didn’t really matter either.

Class finally ended. Rayne packed up her books and departed. After a quick stop by her locker to deposit most of her books, she headed to meet Evalyn. She had gotten a lot done today and had no homework at all, when she got home she could devote all of her focus to her project.

“Hey squirt.” Eva greeted when they met at her car.

“Hey Eva!” Rayne replied.

Evalyn stared at her.

Rayne raised an eyebrow and looked back at her. Confused by her reaction.

Evalyn just ushered for her to get in the car before climbing in herself.

Once inside the privacy of the car, Evalyn turned to look at her.

“Your Rayne is showing.” Evalyn said bluntly.

Rayne just stared at her, “Whaa?”

Rayne slapped her hand to her mouth, realizing what Evalyn was implying. Evalyn has been pointing out the fact that Rayne was using her voice. Not Raymond’s.

Evalyn continued to look at her, now concerned, “Any idea how long?”

Rayne looked down at her feet as she thought back, “I walked into my last class as Raymond… and walked out as Rayne. Jeeze, I just got lost in thought doodling and didn’t even realize when I switched over.”

“Did you talk to anyone?” Evalyn asked gently.

Rayne shook her head. “No, thank goodness no.”

Her face dropped into her hands. “Ugh.”

Evalyn placed her hand on her sister’s shoulder comfortingly, “Let’s go home.”
 

~o~O~o~
 
When they arrived home, Rayne went straight to her room. The first thing she did was strip off the last vestiges of Raymond and dress in clothes appropriate to her true identity.

Able to breathe freely at last, she sat down at her desk and pulled out the large piece of paper. Little work had been done since yesterday, but at least it was no longer blank. She pulled out her pencils, as well as the paints and paint brushes she had liberated from the school. She could get the initial lines done in an hour, then she could start painting. She had lots of time to work tonight, and lots of work to get done before the showing. Especially if she wanted to check out the youth group tomorrow. So much was happening.

She took a deep breath and set her hand to work.

---

---

Hiya!

Flummox here!

Slightly less late this week, but still a bit late. Shucks. :/
I’m trying to post regularly until part one ends, but I’ve been crazy busy for the last month, and will be still for a few more weeks. I’ll try to keep up with a chapter a week, but I may have to miss next week. I’ll try to get it posted, but apologies in advance if I can’t.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Every one here has been so kind and supportive throughout this whole adventure, and I really appreciate it.

With that said, it would love it if you took the time to comment or shoot me a message. It motivates me and keeps me going. No pressure or anything though.

Hope this finds you in good health and cheer,

Flummox

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A Blank Page
Chapter 19
By Flummox

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Rayne finished getting dressed and looked to her desk where the painting-in-progress lay. She had gotten a lot done last night, more than she had expected. Although she had also stayed up later than she should have working on it. Oh well. She needed all the time she could get if she wanted to complete it on time.

But now it was time for another day of school.

She headed down the stairs, clad in the disguise that was Raymond. Entering the kitchen, she went about getting a bowl of cereal before sitting down at the table with her father and Evalyn. Good mornings were exchanged and Sebastian joined them shortly.

“So,” Rayne began between bites of cereal, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Only took you 14 years.” Jameson teased.

“Oh, ha ha Dad.” She replied, rolling her eyes and sticking out her tongue.

“What have you been thinking about?” He asked, setting his paper aside and giving her his full attention.

“About that youth group.” She elaborated, “If it’s okay with you and Mom I think I’d like to give it a shot.”

That caught Sebastian and Evalyn’s attention, they both turned to look at their younger sister. Jameson just nodded slowly.

“Okay.” Their father said, “But what brought this on? You didn’t seem to like the idea when we met with the Dr. Mathews on Saturday. Why the change of heart?”

“Wait, wait,” Evalyn interrupted, “Hold up a sec. What youth group is this?”

Sebastian didn’t say anything, but his own curiosity was clear on his face.

“Oh right!” Rayne exclaimed, “We never mentioned that part to you guys, did we?”

“Nope.” Evalyn confirmed, “So I’ll repeat myself. What youth group?”

Jameson rolled his eyes. “The doctor referred us to an LGBTQ youth group here in Lakewood. They meet on the second Tuesday of every month. He said it might do your sister some good to meet and talk with other kids going through something similar.”

“I see.” Sebastian nodded his understanding, “But I’m guessing Rayne was initially too shy to even consider it.”

Rayne blushed and nodded, “Although I would substitute ‘shy’ with ‘terrified’.”

“Why would you be scared Rayne?” Evalyn asked, “And like Dad said, what changed your mind?”

“Spending time at the mall on Sunday got me thinking about it. As for why I’d be scared, well, Lakewood isn’t that big of a town.” Rayne explained, “The chances of someone from our school being there are pretty good. What if they told someone about me?”

“Rayne sweetie,” Jameson said gently, “Even if someone from your school does go to the group, I highly doubt they would even think about outing you. In fact, if anything I think they would look out for you and help you keep your secret.”

“R- Really?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

“Really.” Jameson replied confidently. “For one thing, the group probably has some strict rules about that. Secondly, like Dr. Mathews said, the other kids would be going through something similar, right? If they’re going through similar situations, they probably know how you feel, and know how scary it is.”

Evalyn nodded her agreement.

“So, this youth group is tonight then?” Sebastian asked.

Rayne nodded hesitantly, “I’m still nervous, but I think I want to go.”

“Well alright then.” Jameson began, “Dr. Mathews already gave your mom and I all the details in case you decided to go. They meet up at the Lakewood community center, usually around 6:00. Tonight, after dinner, I’ll give you a ride over.”

Rayne nodded, finished her breakfast, and went about getting ready for school.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The day seemed to drag by. Rayne was filled with a nervous excitement the whole time, both eagerly anticipating and dreading the meet up that night. She was careful to avoid another slip up like the day before, when she slipped into Rayne’s voice and mannerisms without realizing. Finally, she arrived home.

She didn’t need to leave for a few hours so she rushed up to her room to decide what to wear to the meeting. She settled on her long teal skirt and white blouse. Wardrobe decided upon, she put on some light makeup – Evalyn had given her a few tutorials – and brushed out her hair. She stared in her mirror for a long moment, debating whether to tie it in a ponytail, braid it, or leave it loose.

“Loose today.” She decided out loud.

Heart still pounding in anticipation – and with time yet to kill – she sat down at her desk to calm her nerves by working on her painting.

She worked for an hour, until her mother arrived home. Moment’s later her father bellowed for the kids, announcing dinner to be ready.

Rayne descended, Evalyn and Sebastian right behind her. When she entered the kitchen, she greeted her Mom with a hug.

“Hey sweetie.” Catalina greeted her as they embraced, “I heard you’re going to the youth group tonight?”

“Yup.” Rayne confirmed, turning to serve herself a plate of spaghetti, “I’m still nervous and a bit scared, but I’m also looking forward to it.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time.” Catalina said warmly, “Maybe make some new friends.”

“That would be nice.” Rayne said softly as she took her seat.

The family talked about their respective days as they ate, and soon Jameson was glancing at the clock.

“We had best get going if you don’t want to be late Rayne.” He announced, bringing his dishes to the sink.

“I can take her if you want Dad.” Evalyn piped up, following him with her own dishes.

“Maybe next time.” Jameson declined, “I think for her first time attending your mother or I should bring her.”

Catalina nodded her agreement and soon father and daughter were walking out the door.

“I’ll walk you in.” Jameson declared as they drove, “I know it might embarrass you, but I think it’s best if I meet whoever oversees this.”

Rayne nodded. Embarrass her? It was actually relieving to know she wouldn’t be walking in alone.

They pulled up in front of the community center a few minutes later. Rayne swallowed nervously as she stepped down from her father’s truck.

Together they walked to the entrance where Jameson opened and held the door for his daughter. She smiled in appreciation as she stepped through and looked around. They were standing in a lobby, around the room were a few arm chairs and couches. Off to the side was a small table with a joint coffee and hot chocolate machine. Across from it was a counter with various pamphlets and small signs. Behind the desk stood a man, and behind him a billboard covered in various local ads and announcements.

The man was looking down at a binder when they walked in.

“Can I help you?” He asked, still looking at the binder. He finished what he was writing and looked up at them.

The man had a light beard and mustache. He light brown hair was shaved into a buzz cut, and glasses framed his eyes. He looked to be in his mid thirties.

“Yes,” Jameson replied, “We heard that there was a, um,” He looked at Rayne, but she was distracted by something. She was leaning to her side and staring through an open door.

He looked back at the man. “We heard there was a youth support group here?”

The man glanced to where Rayne stood, having moved sideways slightly to see through the door more easily.

“Yes, there is,” he began, “But it’s not for just anyone. May I ask why you’ve come?”

“My daughter. Her therapist recommended she come. Said it might be good for her.”

“May I ask for the name of her therapist?”

“Dr. Mathews.” Jameson answered easily, “Bill Mathews.”

The man clicked his tongue and turned to look at Rayne. “Ah. That clears some things up.”

“You’re familiar with him?” Jameson asked curiously.

“Very familiar actually.” The man returned his attention to Jameson, “I apologise for my earlier caution, but it’s part of my job to ensure that this remains a safe space for these kids. My name is Donald Patterson, I’m a psychology student at the University of British Columbia. Bill Mathews is one of my professors.”

“Rayne, come over here for a moment.” Jameson called to his daughter who had crept closer to the door. She quickly turned around and rejoined them, stepping close to her father who wrapped an arm around her.

“My name is Jameson, and this is my daughter, Rayne.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” Donald returned, shaking each of their hands in turn. He turned to Rayne, “Hey, Rayne. My names Donald Patterson, in case you missed it earlier.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Patterson.” Rayne greeted politely.

“So, what do you do here Donald?” Jameson asked, now that greetings had been exchanged, “Counsel the kids?”

“No, I’m not certified yet.” Donald explained, “I’m just a volunteer. I’m here to make sure everyone’s safe, and to be a voice of reason should one be needed. On top of that, the custodian of the center is hesitant to allow a bunch of teenagers to use the facilities unsupervised. Other than that, I mostly leave them to their own devices.”

Jameson nodded his head in understanding. “Well, I suppose I’ll leave you to it then. One of my other children, my wife, or I will be around to pick her up later. What time do you usually wind down?”

“It varies from night to night,” Donald answered, “But never any later then 9:30. It is a school night after all. How about we give you a call when we’re getting ready to finish?”

Jameson nodded, “Sounds great.”

He turned to Rayne, “I’ll see you in a few hours. Call me, Eva, Seb, or your Mom if you need anything or want to come home early, okay?”

“Okay Dad.” Rayne replied, stepping forward to wrap him in a hug, “Love you.”

“I love you too princess.” He replied, returning her embrace.

When they separated he turned to leave, and Rayne turned to Doanld. She blushed lightly when she saw that he had been watching the exchange.

He smiled warmly, “Alright Rayne, if you come with me I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

“O- okay Mr. Patterson.” She agreed hesitantly.

“Please, call me Donald, or Don. I never cared for the whole ‘Mr.’ thing.” He said with a friendly smile, leading her towards the door she had been staring through.

She swallowed nervously as she stepped through the doors into a large gymnasium. In the far corner was a group of teenagers. One boy was dribbling around a basketball and taking shots at the net. Nearby, some armchairs and a table had been pulled in, and four others sat around. Two girls and a boy sat in chairs, and another boy sat on the floor, slumped forward with his head resting on the table.

“What’s goin’ on, Don!” The basketballer rhymed in greeting, tossing the ball at Donald, “Who’s the girl?!”

Donald snatched the ball from the air easily, tucking it under one arm. The other teenagers looked – some having to turn in their seats – at the new arrivals.

Rayne chewed on her lip nervously. This was it. This was the group.

“Why don’t you grab another chair and I’ll tell you.” Donald replied as they reached the group.

The basketballer rolled his eyes but quickly jogged out a side door. Rayne looked around at the group as they looked at her.

Four armchairs sat on either side of a coffee table. On the side closest to Rayne a girl and a boy were turned in their seats, necks craning to see her. The girl had long dirty blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, with multiple piercings in each ear. Her skin was well tanned, causing her bright blue eyes to pop out. The boy was Indian, with brown eyes and short curly black hair.

On the opposite side of the table, another boy sat on the floor in front of his chair. He hadn’t moved from where he sat, chin resting on the table. He stared at her out of the corner of his green eyes. He had shaggy brown hair which hung in his eyes, and a big frown. Finally, the last girl sat in the fourth chair, eyebrows scrunched together as she assessed Rayne. She had black hair with a few streaks of bright color and wore heavy makeup around her grey eyes.

Rayne’s jaw dropped as the last girl’s eyes widened simultaneously. It was Jenna. One of the girls from the mall on Sunday.

The basketballer stepped back into the room, another armchair being dragged behind him. He dragged it to where Rayne and Donald were standing at the end of the table. He gestured for her to take a seat before going to stand at the opposite end. He turned to take his own look at the newcomer.

Rayne took the offered seat, crossing her ankles and folding her hands in her lap. She looked back at the final boy, momentarily forgetting Jenna.

The basketballer was tall and built. He was wearing a Lakewood High football jacket, had short blonde hair and plain brown eyes. He turned to look at Donald and clapped his hands together before holding them open. Donald, passed the ball back to him.

“Alright.” Donald began, “Most of you know each other, but we have a newbie this week. That means we’re going to kick things off with a formal start-

The other teenagers groaned.

“C’mon guys,” Donald laughed lightheartedly, “It’s only fair. All it’ll be is a few minutes to go over the rules, then we’ll go around the circle and have everyone introduce themselves. Okay?”

There were some grumbles of consent.

Donald rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Alright, first. Rules. This is a safe place, you can talk about anything you need to talk about without fear of judgement or persecution. At the same time, that does not mean you are forced to share. If you only talk about what you’re comfortable talking about, that’s fine. Next, what’s said in group, stays in group. You don’t share what your peers have said here with anyone. No excuses. If anyone violates another’s trust, you may not be invited back. Good so far?”

Everyone nodded, including Rayne. Everyone seemed to take this part very seriously.

“Great.” He continued, “Finally – and this is more of an optional request then a rule – please look out for each other. If one of you sees another outside of group, and you see that your peer is having a hard time, give them a hand. Do what you can to help them, okay?”

Again, everyone nodded.

“Alright, now for the fun part.” Donald said, an evil grin plastering itself across his face, “Introductions.”

Everyone groaned again. Apparently, this was the part they didn’t like.

“Just tell everyone your name, how old you are, maybe where you go to school and what grade you’re in. Hobbies, favorite classes, anything you want really. If you want to say why you’re here you can, but as always, only if your comfortable doing so.”

Why they were here? What did he mean by that? Weren’t they all hear to talk and get support?

“Courtney, let’s start with you. We’ll go in a clockwise circle from there.”

“What?!” The tanned girl immediately to Rayne’s left whined, “Why do I have to start?!”

“Newbies always get to go last.” The Indian boy piped up, “So that they can see how it’s done and get a bit more time to figure out what to say.”

“Fine, whatever.” The girl huffed, “My name’s Courtney. I’m 15, and in grade 9 at Lakewood High, as most of you know by now. I like to dance, and I’m here because I’m bisexual.”

Oh. Suddenly the ‘Why you’re here’ part made more sense. He had been talking about their orientation.

“That was great Courtney.” Donald encouraged, before turning to look at the next boy.

The Indian boy took that as his cue.

“My name is Elias,” he began in a slightly effeminate voice, “But my friends call me Eli. I’m 17 – almost 18 – and in grade 12 at Lakewood High. I love fashion, and If you couldn’t tell, I’m gay. And that’s me!” He spread his arms wide to accentuate the point before folding his hands in his lap and turning to look at the basketballer.

The basketballer didn’t need any other signal, he jumped right into his introduction.

“My name’s Braidon, grade 11 at Lakewood. Just turned 17 a week ago.”

He was interrupted by a few belated birthday wishes, which he thanked, then continued.

“I like sports, if that wasn’t obvious. Hockey and football are my favorites, but basketball’s cool too. I’m gay, which isn’t something I can really talk about with the guys on the team, so I come here.”

Everyone nodded in understanding.

Braidon turned to Jenna and nodded for her to go ahead.

“Jenna. 18. Grade 12 at St. Mathews High. Looking forward to being done with school.”

“Is that all?” Donald asked after a moments silence.

“Yuppers.” Jenna confirmed.

“Alright, that’s fine. Moving along.” He turned to look at the last boy. He had barely moved from his position on the floor, but now he sat back, leaning against his chair.

“I’m Wallace – or Wally, whichever you prefer – and I’m in grade 11 at St. Mathews. I’m 16. I like computers and people I can’t have.”

At St. Mathews? Wallace went to the same school as Rayne and her siblings, she tried to think back. She didn’t recall seeing him around before. And what did he mean by people he couldn’t have? What did that mean? Apparently, it wasn’t a new thing though, because Elias and Courtney both started giggling.

“Who are you crushing on this time Wally?” Courtney asked, eliciting a sigh from the boy as he plopped his head back onto the cushion behind him.

“Just a boy at school.” He muttered.

“Give us the details!” Elias gushed, “Is he cute?!”

Donald cleared his throat. “Perhaps we could finish first? Did you have anything else to add Elias?”

The boy blushed and shook his head no.

“Alright, newbies turn!” Elias said excitedly, “The best part!”

Everyone’s eyes turned to look at her.

“Um, h- hi,” She managed to squeak, “M- my name’s Rayne. I, uh, I’m in grade 9 at, uh-

Shit if she said she went to school at St. Mathews then Jenna would know they had lied about who she was and where she was from.

“At sc- school,” She continued after a moment’s hesitation, “I’m 14 years old. And I, um, I like to paint and draw, and play games and read.”

She blushed furiously and looked down at her hands. They were nervously wringing her skirt. She forced them to relax and smooth out the crumpled fabric.

“Excellent.” Donald announced. “Now that everyone knows a bit more about each other, I’m going to leave you to it. Will you be okay?”

He posed the question to the whole group, but he turned to look at Rayne.

Everyone nodded.

“I’ll be out in the main lobby if you need me.” He declared, turning to leave.

Once he was out of earshot, Elias immediately turned to Rayne, “Okay c’mon, what letter are you?”

“P- pardon?” Rayne asked, not understanding the question.

“You know,” he gushed, “What letter represents you? L? B? T or Q? You’re not a guy so you can’t really be a G, right?” He paused to look up at the group and put his pointer finger to his chin, “Or at least I think that’s how it works.”

“Uh, um.” Rayne stammered, not sure how to – of if she was comfortable to – answer such a direct question about her orientation.

“Knock it off Eli.” Braiden scolded, “You know the rules, no one has to share anything they’re not comfortable sharing, and no pressuring anyone to do so.”

“Everyone else said their orientation.” Courtney spoke up, siding with Eli, “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t share mine.” Jenna pointed out.

Courtney rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it’s obvious you’re a dyke just looking at you.”

Braiden snorted, while Jenna glared daggers at the younger girl.

Oh. Suddenly it made a lot of sense why Jenna had seemed so annoyed with George at the mall on Sunday. It wasn’t just that she had no interest in him specifically. She had no interest in any hims at all.

“Guys c’mon.” Wallace groaned, “Be nice or you’re gonna drive the new girl away. Haven’t you both been complaining for months now that we need more girls around here?”

“He has a point.” Braiden said with a light chuckle.

Courtney sighed. Jenna just rolled her eyes.

“U- um, why do you want more girls around?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

“Courtney and Jenna don’t always get along.” Elias explained.

“Replace ‘don’t always’ with ‘rarely’” Said Braiden from where he was repositioning himself beneath the basket ball net.

Both girls glared at him. Rayne giggled.

“So what school do you go to Rayne?” Wallace asked softly, changing the topic.

“Uhhh,” She stammered, trying to think of an answer.

“Rayne’s not from around here.” Jenna piped up, drawing everyone’s attention to her.

“Have you two met before? Ooooh, are you two dating?!” Elias gushed, turning to stare at Jenna excitedly.

Jenna rolled her eyes. “No, Eli. We’re not dating. We met at the mall on Sunday, she’s in town visiting her cousins.”

“Who are her cousins?” Courtney asked, her own curiosity piqued.

“Just some students at our school.” Jenna replied, waiving it off with her hand.

Wallace wouldn’t drop it as easily, however. He turned to look at Jenna, “Who?”

“Sebastian and Evalyn Danahy.”

“Uggggh.” Wallace groaned, head flopping into his hands, “Just my luck.”

“Huh?” Elias replied, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion for a brief moment.

Then the Indian boy’s eyes widened as his lips turned upwards in a sly grin, “Ooooooooooh, I see how it is.”

Wallace looked up to glare at Elias, “Don’t say it.”

“Now I don’t know who this Sebastian and Evalyn are,” Elias began, grinning like a fool, “but you have a crush on one of them. Don’t you?”

Wallace didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to, his blushing face said it for him.

Giggles burst from several of the teens as Wallace covered his face with his hands.

“It’s Sebastian. It has to be.” Jenna announced with a grin.

“You don’t know that.” Wallace objected defensively.

“You said that you ‘like people you can’t have’” Braiden pointed out, “You wouldn’t say that if it was the sister, what was her name? Ela-something?”

“Evalyn” Rayne provided, giggling at the exchange.

“Yeah, Evalyn.” Braiden continued, “If it was Evalyn you liked there wouldn’t be an issue, you’re a guy, she’s a girl. It’s only a problem with Sebastian because – I’m guessing – He’s straight.”

Wallace sighed and slumped back onto the table, silently confirming what they had extrapolated from his words.

“Hey, don’t give up yet.” Elias said, coming around to hug and comfort Wallace, “Maybe he’s just not out of the closet yet.”

“I suppose it’s possible.” Braiden agreed as he took another shot at the basket, “If only someone was around who knew him better. Like a cousin maybe.”

Slowly the group turned to look at Rayne again.

She kneeled down on the floor next to Wallace.

“I’m sorry.” She said gently, “Me and Seb are really close, and as far as I know, he likes girls.”

“She could be wrong though.” Jenna objected, “Rayne’s from the opposite side of the country, she doesn’t see Sebastian everyday. I’m in the same class as Sebastian and see him all the time. I’ve never seen him with, or heard him talk about, any girlfriends.”

Rayne frowned. Now this cover story was just getting in the way. She DID spend time with Sebastian every day. If he was gay, surely he would have come out by now. Especially now that he’d seen how accepting their family was of Rayne. Wouldn’t he?

“Sorry Rayne, but she kinda has a point.” Braiden said gently. “You can’t deny that it’s possible.”

Rayne sighed. She didn’t think it was a good idea to give Wallace false hope. She also knew she couldn’t really be friends with this group without trusting them and telling them the truth. Doctor Mathews had said that talking with other kids her age in similar situations might help her. Just being here was telling them a part of her secret. It was time to make the plunge.

“She might have a point if I was really Sebastian and Evalyn’s cousin from across the country, but I’m not. That was a cover story Eva made up.”

Now she had the whole groups attention, including Wallace’s.

“I’m actually their little sister.”

Braiden, Elias, and Courtney mostly looked indifferent. They went to a different school and didn’t know the Danahys, so to them this revelation meant nothing. But both Jenna and Wallace did attend the same school as them.

“Sebastian and Evalyn don’t have a little sister.” Jenna said, confusion all over her face, “They only have a little br-

Silence filled the air for a long moment.

“Oh.” Jenna finished.

“Wait,” Wallace began, blinking rapidly, “You’re Raymond?”

Rayne clicked her tongue, and looked away. She may not have recognized Wallace from school, but he apparently knew Raymond.

“Yup, that’s me. The crossdressing little brother.” She said, deriding herself and refusing to make eye contact with any of them.

“Hey.” Elias objected immediately, “None of that now. Until just now I had no clue.”

“Yeah, neither did I.” Courtney agreed, “I was actually jealous of how you looked when you came in.”

“R- Really?” Rayne asked hesitantly, turning to look at the group again.

“Really.” Courtney confirmed before quickly adding, “But don’t let that go to your head. I’m still the prettiest one here.”

Rayne giggled.

Jenna nodded her head, “And I don’t think anyone suspected anything on Sunday, although it does explain why you seemed so terrified at first.”

“Seemed terrified?” Rayne objected, “I WAS terrified.”

The group laughed, once they had calmed down, Braiden spoke up.

“So, what’s this about Sunday? Is that why you two recognized each other?”

“Seb, Eva, and I went to the mall.” Rayne explained, “While there we randomly met up with Jenna and a bunch of other kids from school.”

“And that’s where the story about you being from across the country came from.” Braiden deduced.

“Okay,” Elias stepped in, “But what does any of this have to do with Sebastian being gay or not.”

“My family is really accepting.” Rayne explained, “Or at least my immediate family is. I’m only Raymond at school these days. I feel like if Sebastian was gay he would have come out by now, especially with how accepting our family is of me. On top of that we have a gay uncle that everyone in the family is okay with.”

The group nodded. Wallace slumped further.

“So, it IS hopeless then.” He groaned.

“Maybe having a relationship with him is hopeless,” Rayne began softly, “But you could at least still be friends with him.”

Wallace looked at her and said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

“Um, well, I’m a bit biased, but Seb is really nice.” She explained, “He doesn’t care about things like gender and orientation.”

“She’s not just saying that cuz he’s her big brother.” Jenna confirmed, “I’ve been in the same class as him for years. He treats everyone nicely and hates bullies. Last year when a bunch of kids were giving me shit for being too ‘gothy’, Sebastian was the one who got them to lay off.”

“He’s tackled kids for me before!” Rayne chipped in, “Multiple times! But I guess I’m his little sister. He’s obligated to.”

There were a few giggles at that, but Wallace didn’t say anything. He sat there and quietly thought about their words.

“What did you mean when you said at least your immediate family was accepting Rayne?” Braiden asked, changing the topic for the time being.

“Oh, well, my parents and siblings are cool with it.” Rayne explained, “But the jury’s still out on my Dad’s side. From the sound of things, some of them are still on the fence, and others are just straight up not okay with it.”

“From the sound of things?” Courtney asked.

“After I told my parents, my parents told the rest of the family.” Rayne explained, leaving out that she hadn’t exactly told them but been caught. She had been planning on telling them, that was close enough.

“They told your whole family?!” Courtney exclaimed, bewildered, “Without asking you?”

“I mean, they told me they were gonna do it.” Rayne elaborated, “But they didn’t give me a choice in the matter.”

“That’s so not cool.” Braiden declared, tucking the basketball under his arm for the time being and coming to sit on the floor on the opposite side of the table from Rayne.

“The way they put it,” Rayne continued, “Was that if I wanted to be Rayne, they were gonna find out eventually – and sooner was better than later. Apparently, their initial reaction was bad enough that none of them are allowed to see me until they change their minds. From what I’m told, the only one’s who reacted positively was one uncle and maybe one of my little cousins who’s too young to really understand.”

“That’s shitty.” The ever-frowning Wallace declared.

“How did your families react?” Rayne asked.

Wallace shrugged. Courtney and Elias looked at each other. Jenna looked at Braiden who made a point of avoiding eye contact with anyone and leaning back on his hands to look at the roof.

The silence drew out for a long moment, and right as Rayne was about to speak, Elias broke the silence.

“Haven’t told ‘em.” He announced with a shrug,

“Uhhhh,” Rayne replied, trying to figure out how to gently tell him that it was obvious. Elias exhibited some mannerisms – both vocally and in the way he carried himself – that were often associated with the gay stereotype.

Braiden rolled his eyes.

“He acts differently at school and at home.” Braiden explained.

“O- oh.” Rayne replied, suddenly understanding. Elias had to hide who he really was too. At least she only had to at school.

“It’s not like it’s easy to just come out and just say, ‘hey Mom, hey Dad, I’m gay.’” Elias explained, throwing his arms out dramatically as he gave the example.

“Yeah.” Courtney agreed, “Especially not after what happened to you, Braiden.”

Rayne turned to look at the athlete with concern, “Why? What happened to Braiden?”

The boy pursed his lips and looked away.

“His parents didn’t take it well.” Jenna provided.

Braiden jumped back to his feet and moved to square up to the net, his back to the group.

“They kicked me out.” He said as if it were nothing, “So what?”

The ball flew through the air, slipped easily though the net, and fell to the floor. It bounced a few times, but Braiden made no move to pick it up.

“W- what?!” Rayne gasped in horror, “Things got better though, right?!”

“Not everyone’s family is as accepting as yours or Wally’s, Rayne.” He tried to say it nonchalantly, but the hurt was clear in his voice, “I’m living with one of my teachers at the moment, but that’s a temporary solution. Who knows when social services will come drag me away?”

Rayne was speechless. How could someone do that? Abandon their child – kick them out of their home – for anything at all? Let alone for something as trivial as their sexuality? Tears welled in her eyes.

Before she knew what she was doing, Rayne had gotten up and walked to where the boy stood. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could.

He stood there awkwardly. Not returning her hug, but not rejecting it either.

“Uhhhh, Rayne?” He asked, “What are you doing?”

“Whenever I’m upset or sad, my sister makes it better.” She mumbled, tears still rolling down her face, “I don’t know how to do for you what she does for me, but this is the best I got.”

After a moment of silence Braiden chuckled softly.

“Thanks Rayne.” He said softly, returning the hug.

“You gonna stop crying an’ being sad now?” She asked.

Braiden pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh. He was sad, but only one of them was crying. It wasn’t him.

“Only if you do.” He replied as they parted.

“Agreed.” She declared, wiping the tears from her eyes, “I’m glad we both got that out of our systems.”

Braiden laughed. Rayne smiled back at him. Mission accomplished.

She took him by the hand and led him back to the group. He sat back down on the floor, she kneeled beside him.

“What about the rest of you?” She asked, looking from Courtney to Jenna then to Wallace.

“Same as Elias.” Courtney said with a shrug, she looked to Wallace.

“My parent’s think I’m just ‘going through a phase’,” Wallace rolled his eyes, “But other then that they’re fine with it.”

“My Dad’s cool.” Jenna said with a smile and a nod, “My Mom not so much. Nowhere near as bad as Braiden’s parents though. Her opinion doesn’t matter though. Her and my dad split a few years ago. Dad got custody of me and my bro, thank God.”

“Why thank God?” Courtney asked, eyebrows scrunching up, “I mean, I knew your parents were divorced and that you lived with your dad, but I didn’t know you were thankful for that.”

“Eh, my Mom’s got a lotta issues.” Jenna explained, “It was a big part of why they got divorced, and why Dad got custody. She doesn’t work, drinks too much, I think she does some hard drugs too. I’m not sure though. Dad doesn’t talk about it.”

“What about your brother?” Elias asked, “He’s the same age as you, right?”

“Yup. He’s cool with it too. He actually thinks it’s funny.” Jenna rolled her eyes.

“You’re the same age?” Rayne asked, “Are you twins or something?”

“Nah, nothing like that.” Jenna went on to elaborate, “Timothy isn’t really my brother. He’s my cousin if we’re being technical. I suppose if we’re being really technical my Mom and Dad aren’t my Mom and Dad either. My birth parents died when I was a baby. Tim’s dad and my birth dad were brothers. Tim’s Dad insisted on taking me in rather than seeing me disappear into the mess that social services can be. Anyways, the two of us grew up together, so while we’re not really siblings, we might as well be. To me, Tim’s my brother, Dad’s my dad, and Mom’s my mom – even with all her baggage.”

“Wait,” Rayne interjected, “Is this the same Tim from the mall on Sunday?”

Jenna giggled, “The one you were teasing? Yup. He’s the only reason I was there on Sunday.”

“You weren’t they’re to hang out with the rest of them?” Rayne asked curiously.

Jenna shook her head, “Nah, that’s not really my crowd. I was only the there because Tim needed a ride and I needed to swing by some of the stores. I just got roped in to going around with them.”

“Yeah c’mon.” Courtney teased, “Have you seen Jenna? Can you really see her willingly hanging out with jocks and cheerleaders?”

Jenna rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

“I generally don’t like cheerleaders and meat headed jocks.” Jenna replied, “But-

“Hey!” Braiden interrupted her, “I resent that! I’ll have you know I’m an honors student!”

The group laughed.

“If you’d let me finish,” Jenna chided, “I was going to say that I make an exception for some. Mainly you and Sebastian.”

“Oh.” Braiden managed. “Well in that case, thank you very much.”

Rayne giggled. She didn’t point out that Jenna was technically still calling Braiden a ‘meat headed jock’.

“On the topic of meat headed jocks,” Jenna continued, “My meat headed jock brother is planning a Halloween party. Dad said that I could invite some friends too, you guys wanna come?”

“I didn’t have any plans yet, so sure.” Braiden agreed.

Wallace frowned, “I dunno. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Tim invited Sebaaaaaastiaaaaan” Jenna said seductively.

A moment of silence passed.

“I’ll come.”

The group laughed.

“Well,” Elias piped up, “I think I need to see this Sebastian for myself. Count me in.”

“Am I invited too?” Courtney asked.

“Of course.” Jenna said, rolling her eyes, “We might butt heads sometimes Courtney, but we’re still friends. Do you really think I’d leave you out?”

Courtney smiled, “Okay, well, I might be expected to take my little brother and sister trick-or-treating, but either way I’ll be there. Just might be late.”

“No worries.” Jenna nodded in understanding before turning to Rayne, “What about you Rayne?”

“M- me?” Rayne asked, eyes widening, “B- but we just met today.”

“So?” Jenna asked, “You’re just as much a member of this group as anyone else here. Besides, I think we’d all like a chance to get to know you better.”

Rayne looked around the group. Each member smiled or nodded encouragingly, or in Elias’ case, squealed enthusiastically.

“I- I’d love to!” Rayne replied, giddy.

Jenna giggled, “Great, just so you all know though, costumes ARE mandatory.”

Courtney groaned. Elias squealed with joy. The other boys seemed indifferent. Rayne giggled with excitement. Her first Halloween as Rayne! What would she dress up as?

The conversation went on, phone numbers were exchanged with promises that details of the party would be sent, and all too soon the evening was coming to an end. It wasn’t until Rayne was walking out to her father’s truck that she realized her mistake. She couldn’t go to the party. She would still be grounded.

She slumped into the seat next to her father, sighing heavily.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently, looking at her with concern, “Did it not go well?”

“No, not at all Dad.” Rayne replied quickly, shaking her head, “It was fantastic.”

He started driving home.

“Well?” He asked as they pulled out of the parking lot, “What’s wrong then.”

“I got invited to a Halloween party.” Rayne said with another heavy sigh.

“Aaaaand this is a problem, why?” Jameson asked slowly.

“Cuz it’s a Halloween party.” Rayne explained, emphasizing ‘Halloween’, “I told them I’d go, but I just realized I’ll still be grounded.”

“Ah,” Jameson mused, “I see your dilemma now.”

Rayne groaned.

Jameson chuckled.

“Daaaaaad.” Rayne whined, “It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry Princess,” Jameson replied, still smiling. “Tell ya what, I’ll talk to your mom, maybe we can come to an agreement.”

“R- Really?” Rayne asked excitedly, sitting up straighter in her seat.

Jameson held up a finger, “Really, but no promises. We may still decide not to allow it, but we’ll talk about it.”

“Okay!” Rayne agreed happily, it was better than nothing. “Thanks Dad.”

“Mmhmm.” He hummed happily as he pulled onto their street.

As soon as the truck was parked Rayne leapt from the truck and ran to her room. She still had a lot of work to do on her painting if she wanted to finish by Friday, and now she had something else to think about too. If her parents agreed to let her go to the party, what would she go as?

---

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BWAAAAAAH.

Threeeeeee weeks. That’s like, two weeks too many.

GAH.

Hi. Flummox here.

Super sorry for the absence. I know I said this chapter would be late, but I meant, like, a week late tops. Not two weeks. Oops.

Where I’m currently writing now, a few chapters ahead of this, I was hit with a spell of writer’s block. That caused me to lose all motivation for a bit. So, between that and… other things that were distracting me… *Cough cough* video games *cough cough*, I just didn’t get around to doing anything Blank Page related. At least until I solved the scene I was struggling with. Then the motivation came back, and with it, I finally finished editing this chapter. So yeah, I have no good excuse for being so off the ball lately. I’ve just been lazy and unmotivated. I always try to reply to everyone’s comments, but I didn’t even do that. I think there’s even a few unanswered messages still sitting in my inbox… Oops. ^_^;;

So yeah. Sorry. For all of that. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it.

Thanks for reading, I’d love it if you commented or messaged me. I promise I’ll reply this time. Maybe even in a timely manner, But I can’t promise on that one. ;)

Hope this finds you happy and healthy.

Flummox.

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A Blank Page
Chapter 20
By Flummox

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It was finally done. She had spent almost all her free time through the week working on it. Not that that was hard, being grounded from video games, the internet, and going out in general. She was walking into the art room now. Well, Raymond was. Details.

It was actually a very important detail. One she was forgetting more often every day. It was just getting so much harder to think of herself as Raymond.

“Ray!”

Ms. Mira’s voice drew her from her thoughts.

“Hi Ms. Mira.” Raymond’s voice replied. “I have something for you.”

Rayne pulled the thick cardboard tube from where it was tucked under her arm. Ms. Mira gave them out when students wanted to bring projects back and forth between home and school. The painting he had been working on all week had been carefully rolled up and slid inside.

“I was hoping this was going to happen when you asked for the tube a few days ago.” Ms. Mira mused as they moved over to one of the empty art tables. It was the start of lunch hour, no one else was in the room.

Ms. Mira unscrewed the lid and gently drew out the rolled-up paper.

“Ooooh, is that it?!”

Rayne and Ms. Mira paused to turn to the door. Cynthia’s head was peeking though. Ryan could be seen standing behind her, rolling his eyes.

Rayne covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. She had mentioned to them she was trying to rush a piece in time for the showing.

Ms. Mira looked at Rayne, posing the silent question of whether the older students should be granted entry. The giggle escaped and Rayne nodded, turning back to the door to wave for Ryan and Cynthia to join them.

“Yay!” Cynthia squealed, pushing the door open and skipping into the room. Ryan followed silently behind her, pulling the door closed behind him. The simple action of closing the door allowed Rayne to breathe easier. The only people in this room were people she could trust. She could drop the façade that was Raymond, even if only for a few minutes.

“Shall we?” Ms. Mira asked Rayne once everyone was gathered around the table.
Rayne nodded and unrolled the paper, grabbing various small objects to pin down the corners to prevent it from springing closed again.

The four of them examined the painting, Rayne patiently waiting for their input.

“Huh.” Cynthia placed her hand on her chin, “Not what I was expecting.”

Rayne giggled, “What were you expecting?”

Cynthia hummed something that vaguely sounded like ‘I dunno’, eliciting another giggle Rayne.

“I know where Cynthia’s coming from.” Ryan spoke up, eyes never leaving the painting, “I wasn’t expecting a portrait either.”

Rayne turned to look at the painting. It was a recreation of a picture that was taken last summer. It had been a portrait of Rayne’s family and all of her extended family on Jameson’s side. Grandpa Frank and Grandma Olivia, Uncle Frank, the twins, Aunt Lisa, Uncle John, Mackenzie and Lizzy, Rayne’s father and Mother, Sebastian and Evalyn, and Raymond. The picture had been taken during a summer camping trip, they were all gathered in a field up in the mountains. A lake could be seen on one side, trees on the other, and the mountains behind them. Everyone in the family had gotten a copy. It had been a fun trip, and everyone in the picture was smiling. Well, almost everyone. Raymond’s face was neutral in the photograph – something the family had teased him about when they had first seen the photo.

Rayne had recreated the photo with paints. It looked almost identical to the photograph, except for one big difference. There was no Raymond to be seen. Where he had been, there was now a young teenage girl instead. She didn’t particularly stand out in the picture, as the family had been arranged with the grandparents in the middle and the youngest kids on the outside, but she bore an unmistakeable likeness to Rayne, and whereas Raymond’s face had been bordering on sad, her face smiled brightly. It was a small detail. One that would be undistinguishable from any other face, and wouldn’t stand out. Unless someone saw the original, or knew the story behind the painting.

“I don’t get it.” Cynthia said flatly, “I recognize you and your siblings, but who are these other people? Is the grim reaper hidden somewhere here too and I’m just missing it? That’d be kinda morbid though. With your family in it and all.”

Rayne giggled, “Maybe this’ll help.”

She reached into her bag and pulled out a book, and from the book a picture. It was the original photograph. One by one the other three looked at the photo and then back to the painting.

“I don’t know what to say.” Ms. Mira announced, “This is very well done, and clearly has a lot of meaning to it.”

Rayne nodded softly, “Only to certain people, but yes, it does. My dad’s family isn’t the most accepting right now, and I dunno. I guess this is just my way of trying to show them how much happier I am. How I wish things could be in the future. I don’t even know if any of them will see it.”

“Why wouldn’t they?!” Cynthia asked excitedly, “This is gonna be in the gallery, right? Cuz it should be!”

“I don’t know if any of them are gonna be coming to the gallery.” Rayne explained softly, “My parents said they were only invited if they could prove they could be supportive by then. That’s only giving them a week to rethink things.”

Ryan nodded in understanding. Cynthia frowned and looked like she wanted to say more.

“Why don’t we eat?” Ms. Mira asked, clapping her hands together.

Everyone agreed and Rayne went about carefully rerolling the painting before tubing and handing it off to Ms. Mira.

“I’m meeting with Berny tonight to give him all of the pieces you’ve chosen to present.” Ms. Mira explained as they each pulled out their lunch and took a place around the table.

“So how is this gonna work anyways?” Rayne asked between bites of her sandwich, “Am I gonna have to do an actual presentation?”

“No, nothing like that.” Ms. Mira replied with a light chuckle, “Honestly, it should actually be significantly easier than the showings.”

“Really?”

“Yup!” Ms. Mira went on to elaborate, “Up until now your judges have been people from the local art scene. They’re critics, curator’s, and other artists. Tomorrow, the attendees will be ordinary people, many of whom have no experience with art. They’ll likely still have questions, but it’s unlikely to be anything technical or difficult for you to answer.”

Rayne nodded in understanding, “And what about Sunday?”

“Ah, Sunday.” Ms. Mira said dramatically, “That’s the private event, right? There’ll be a lot of influential people from the greater Vancouver area there – in fact, I believe the mayor of Vancouver and even the Premier of British Colombia will be in attendance.”

“Th- the Premier?” Rayne asked, stunned by the revelation.

Ms. Mira nodded.

“But keep in mind Rayne, most of the people attending on Sunday will be just like those attending Saturday. They may have a passing interest in art, but they’re not critics. To be frank, many likely won’t even be interested in art.”

Rayne pondered that for a moment before slowly nodding, “Some of them’ll just be there for PR.”

“Exactly.” Ms. Mira confirmed, “Some will be politicians who’ll just be there as a show of support for the arts and local kids, but will have no interest in the arts themselves. Other’s genuinely will be interested, but again, not being critics, can be expected to ask relatively simple questions compared to what’s been thrown at you so far.”

“Thanks Ms. Mira.” Rayne sighed, “I’m feeling a lot better now. I hadn’t even realized how nervous I was.”

“That’s what I’m here for!” Ms. Mira declared with a bright smile, “Now, have you put any thought into entering your work into the art auction?”

“I’d like to.” Rayne replied slowly, “I could really use the money. I’ve been relying on my family too much for that.”

“You shouldn’t sell work that you want to keep just because you need the money!” Cynthia exclaimed dramatically.

“Why not?” Ryan countered, “Do you think professional artists can get away with keeping their work just because they don’t want to sell it? They have bills to pay.”

Rayne giggled and held up her hands to stop Cynthia from firing back.

“Relax, I’m not just doing it cuz’ I need the money.” Rayne explained, “To me, most of the meaning comes from the act of creating. I’m fine with selling them, but really, I doubt many people will be interested in buying.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Rayne,” Ms. Mira objected.

Rayne shook her head, “It’s not about selling myself short or not believing in myself, I’m just being realistic. It’s like you said, a lot of these people won’t even be interested in art. If they’re just there for appearances and PR, why bid on some kid’s painting?”

Cynthia and Ryan nodded in understanding, but Ms. Mira shook her head.

“You’d be surprised Rayne. Some of these people are representing large organizations. The individual may not be interested, but the organization might be. On top of that, even if someone isn’t interested in art, you never know when a piece might strike something deep inside them.”

Rayne blinked. She hadn’t thought of it like that.

“On top of that, because it’s for a good cause – many of these kids will be using the money from the auction to pay for post secondary education after high school – it wouldn’t be that surprising to see people get into a bidding war over an item.”

“I- I suppose.” Rayne finally relinquished the point, “I’m just trying to keep my hopes and expectations realistic.”

Really, she would be happy with a few hundred dollars.

She turned to Ryan and Cynthia, “So are you guys gonna come to the gallery?”

“Of course, we are!” Cynthia declared for both of them, drawing an eyeroll from Ryan.

“We can only come tomorrow though.” Cynthia continued with a huff, “Some stupid rule about Sunday being by invitation only.”

Rayne giggled at her friend’s indignation.

Soon lunch came to an end, and – after Rayne reequipped her mask – the students each moved on to their respective classes.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The day passed slowly, but it did finally come to an end, and Rayne arrived home. As she always did, she ascended to her room and put on some more suitable clothes. She descended to the main floor to sit at the kitchen table and plug through her homework. It was a long weekend, with Monday being Thanksgiving, but she would have little other time to hit the books between the art gallery taking place all day for the next two days and Monday’s festivities.
It wasn’t long before she heard the front door open.

“Hey Seb!” She called out, assuming it was her brother.

“Hey Squirt!” Her brother called back, confirming her suspicions.

“You ready for the weekend?” He asked, joining her in the kitchen.

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” She confirmed.

The siblings high fived as Sebastian went about getting an after-school snack. He set a bowl of grapes on the table for them to share and sat down with her to study.

“You were going to have a study party without inviting me?!” Evalyn exclaimed from the kitchen door with mock indignation. She joined them at the table and the three focused on their respective studies until dinner time, the only interruptions being to greet Jameson and Catalina as they each arrived home from their respective outings. The former being grocery shopping, the later being work.

Soon the table was being cleared and dinner was being served.

“So,” Catalina began as the family had taken their seats. “Let’s go over the plans for the weekend.”

“Honestly this time.” Jameson interjected, pointing a finger at Rayne teasingly.

The family chuckled.

“Tomorrow morning Ms. Mira is going to pick Rayne up and drive her to the gallery for 10:30. From my understanding it doesn’t open to the public until 12, but they need some time to set up.”

Rayne nodded an affirmation.

Catalina nodded and continued, “We’re planning to arrive in the evening, around 5 or 6 o’clock. We’ll spend the remainder of the showing with you, then maybe go out for a late dinner before coming home.”

“Why are we going so late?” Sebastian asked.

“Saturday is for anyone who wants to see the art.” Rayne stepped in to explain, “It’ll likely be more crowded during the day and I may not have much time to spend with you all. In the evening it’ll hopefully be a bit less busy. Plus, you guys are coming all day Sunday, and people can only get in Sunday if they have an invitation, so it should be much quieter.”

“But Sunday’s also when all the rich, powerful people’ll be there, right?” Evalyn piped up.

“Uh, I don’t know about rich and powerful,” Rayne contemplated, “But certainly influential. I’ve got butterflies in my tummy just thinking about it.”

The rest of the family chuckled while Rayne blushed.

“You’ll do fine princess.” Jameson assured her.

Rayne smiled in thanks before Catalina continued.

“Anyways, Sunday morning we’ll all get up and head to the gallery together. It runs from 11:00 to 5:00, after which we move over to a nearby banquet hall for a dinner with all the judges and any of the attendees who don’t have prior engagements.”

Rayne nodded. “That’s where we’ll have more time to mingle and visit with the judges and ‘rich, powerful people’” She finished sarcastically, looking at Evalyn.

Evalyn rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue as the family chuckled at the good-natured teasing.

“Throughout the dinner,” Cataline resumed, “people will have opportunities to bid on the silent auction, after the dinner, from the information package we were emailed, it sounds like there will be a short ceremony, then the winners of the auction will be announced, then home.”

Rayne sighed, “I am looking forward to sleeping in on Monda-”

“Monday is another early morning.” Catalina interrupted, smirking at her youngest.

“Ugggggggh, Whhhhhhhhy?” Rayne groaned, throwing her head back dramatically.

“You,” Catalina began meaningfully, “Need to be up early to help me and Evalyn start preparing dinner.”

Rayne immediately stopped groaning and looked at her mother excitedly, “Really?”

Thanksgiving at their grandparent’s house always went a very specific way. The little kids would play, the woman and older girls would work together to make dinner, and the men and older boys would work on any repairs or yard work that needed to be finished before the first snows – assuming they hadn’t already come. If the men finished before dinner was ready, weather permitting, they’d have a game of football. Last year Raymond had been dragged along with the men.

“Of course.” Evalyn declared, winking at Rayne, “Us girls always make Thanksgiving dinner, it’s about time you started learning, and besides, there won’t be as many hands as usual. We’ll need the help.”

Rayne nodded excitedly.

“Alright.” Jameson said, looking around the table, “So we’re all on the same page? There’s going to be no surprises this time?”

Everyone nodded, and dinner resumed.

Once everyone was finished, the kids cleared the table and resumed their homework while Jameson and Catalina did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Rayne’s heart hammered in anticipation.

The nerves had her hands trembling. She kept them balled into tight fists at her side. An attempt to hide the shakes.

She was standing in the art gallery, Ms. Mira at her side. In front of them was her display. It was much larger than any of the showings that had been building up to today. For the past month she had exhibited the same 5 pieces.

But today.

Today was different.

She had a large section of the gallery just for her work. Pieces spanning her entire – short – art career were on display. That was a large factor in her nerves. It was clear with a brief glance that some of her pieces were of a much lower quality.

Oh God. What if they decided she didn’t deserve her spot here? What if they kicked her out? What if-

No.

Rayne closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath. She reveled in the freeing feeling of her diaphragm slowly expanding to it’s fullest as she inhaled. She held the air in her chest for a long moment before slowly exhaling.

She had earned her spot here. She had proven herself. If anything, the lesser pieces were just evidence of how she had improved. How far she had come.

She opened her eyes and looked at her display again. She saw it in a different light now. These drawings, these paintings, they were her creations. Even the – in her eyes – bad ones, were hers. Each was a reflection of a piece of her. From the sketchbook full of silly doodles of her favorite video game characters, to the paintings of the manners of death. From her first, shoddy paintings to the rich, finely detailed portrait finished only days before. There was nothing to be ashamed of here. Nothing she would let herself be ashamed of.

An announcement came over the intercom.

“The gallery doors will be opening to the public in ten minutes. Please make any final preparations.”

“Rayne?” Ms. Mira asked, “Is everything okay?”

The nerves faded. Her balled hands opened, and her chest swelled with pride at how far she had come. Tonight, her family would see her work for the first time, and for once, she had no fears of disappointing them. She was at peace.

She turned to face her teacher.

“I’m good.” She said confidently, “I’m better than good. I’m ready.”

Ms. Mira broke into a smile, “Blow ‘em away.”

Rayne nodded and turned back to face her work again. Today was the day.
 

~o~O~o~
 
When the doors opened, Ryan and Cynthia rushed in and to her side immediately.

“Rayne!” Cynthia squealed, throwing her arms around the smaller girl. “You look beautiful!”

After she was released, Rayne took a look down at herself. She was wearing the red, pleated, ankle length skirt her mother had picked out the week before with a white blouse that her sister had chosen. The blouse had some lace around the neck and chest and the sleeves came just past her shoulders. On her wrists she wore an assortment of dangly bracelets. For footwear she had some simple brown sandals. Evalyn had tried to convince her to let her paint her nails, but Rayne had managed to assert herself, and had turned her down. She had insisted that it would be ruined by paints in a few days anyways so there was no sense in it. Finally, her hair was left hanging loose, but had been styled by her mother, it hung down over one shoulder and onto her chest.

As soon as she finished assessing herself, the barrage of questions began.

“Are you ready? Are you excited?! Are you nervous? You better not be nervous. Is your family coming? What about your extended family?! Did you ever find out if any of them were coming?”

Rayne just laughed.

“Jeeze, calm down Cynth.” Ryan sighed heavily, rubbing his brow.

“Oh shush.” Cynthia said, giving the other boy a playful shove. She turned back to Rayne. “I’m just so excited that you made it!”

Rayne giggled, “Me too Cynthia.”

Rayne looked up in the air in thought and began to answer Cynthia’s questions as she recalled them, counting them off on her fingers as she did so.

“Lesee. Very ready. Super excited. A little nervous, but good nerves. Family is coming tonight. Dunno about the rest of the family. Did I get them all?”

Cynthia giggled, “Yup! Now lemme take a look at the rest of your work!”

Rayne smiled and motioned the older girl towards the pieces waiting behind them.

Ryan stepped up next and – uncharacteristically for the boy – gave her a hug.

“Congratulations Rayne. Really. You deserved to make it here.”

Rayne blinked rapidly, “Th- thanks Ryan. I still think you guys both deserve to be here just as much as I do, but that means a lot to me.”

Ryan just smiled and stepped past her to join Cynthia.

From the moment the doors opened there was no flood of people. The displays weren’t constantly crowded, and the students were far from overwhelmed. Rayne didn’t know why she had been expecting anything else, this was a cumulation of the most talented student artists in the province, but at the end of the day they were still just student artists. None of them were famous, or at least not yet.

That was something that appealed to many of the guests who did come however, the novelty that they might meet the next great artist before they were famous.

Other’s came with their children, and some couples came to the event as a precursor to a date.

Some of the eliminated contestants – Rayne could have sworn she even saw Jane’s scowling face – came to see what else the finalists had created, and several teenagers who didn’t make it into the competition at all came just to see the difference in ability between those in the competition and themselves.

It was fairly steady all day, but it was definitely busiest in the early afternoon and evening. Ms. Mira had been right about it being much easier than the prior showings. The questions people asked her were so simple that it was kind of boring.

The student’s who didn’t make it into the showing at all asked how much time she spent working on her art.

A lot.

Some of the couples wanted to know how old she was, she looked younger than everyone else.

14.

Others wanted to know how she made such detailed pieces.

She tried to explain some of the techniques, but they just stared at her. Uncomprehending.

Children wanted to know if they could do what she does.

With lots of practice and devotion, yes, definitely.

Are you really only 14? That’s pretty young for this event, isn’t it?

Yes, to both.

Some of the boys saw the drawings in her sketchbook of videogame characters and wanted to chat about games.

She was happy to chat for a bit, but she wasn’t here to talk about video games. She would humor them, then gently usher them along.

One lady asked seemingly random questions, completely unrelated to art. She asked Rayne about school, her grades, her other hobbies, what she wanted to do when she grew up, and other questions. It made her a bit uncomfortable, but a glance at Ms. Mira told her it was nothing to be worried about. She answered to the best of her ability.

Are you actually 14? You don’t look that old. Did you really do these yourself?

Yes. Quite sure.

Whenever she wasn’t otherwise occupied with guests, Ms. Mira, Ryan, and Cynthia kept her company. The three of them would each disappear every so often to go look at the displays of other students, often bringing her back snacks or drinks, and they would step away to let her talk to any of the guests, but one of them was never far.

At 4:30 her family arrived.

“Evalyn!” Cynthia called out, rushing over to give Rayne’s older sister a hug, “How’s it going girl?!”

Evalyn laughed, “Fantastic! Finally get to see my genius little sister’s art for the first time!”

Rayne rolled her eyes as Cynthia stared back at her in shock.

“You’ve never shown your family your work? Ever?!” She asked, flabbergasted.

Ryan sighed heavily as he and Rayne caught up with Cynthia, “She told us this before Evalyn, remember? Before this event she basically only showed Ms. Mira anything she made.”

Cynthia put her finger to her chin and looked off into space thoughtfully.

“Oh right.” She finally said with a giggle.

Rayne and her family laughed, Ryan smiled and shook his head.

“So, I take it you’re Ryan, and from what I’ve heard of you, you’re obviously Cynthia.” Catalina began.

“Guilty.” Cynthia said dramatically. Ryan just nodded.

“I’m Jameson,” Jameson greeted, offering a handshake to each of them in turn, “This is my wife Catalina, and I take it you already know Seb and Eva.”

After greetings were exchanged Catalina pulled both of them into a hug.

“Thank you so much for looking out for our little girl.” She said quietly.

Ryan nodded awkwardly, as Cynthia laughed happily.

“I was so so happy,” Cynthia began as they separated, “to hear that all of you were okay with, um,” she paused to look around, before continuing in a loud whisper, “the thing.”

Rayne’s parents smiled and suppressed laughter at the girl’s attempt at subtlety. Evalyn just laughed. Ryan and Sebastian reacted similarly, smiling and shaking their heads. Rayne blushed and facepalmed.

“Anyways,” Ryan began, “We’ve been here all day, so now that you’re all here, we’ll take our leave. Let Rayne give you her mostly undivided attention.”

Cynthia frowned, but agreed a moment later. She gave both Rayne and Evalyn another tight hug before running after Ryan.

Rayne turned to look at her family.

“Those two are quite the characters.” Jameson observed, an amused smile still plastered on his face.

Rayne laughed. “You don’t even know the half of it. Remind me to tell you some stories at dinner.”

“Sure. At dinner.” Catalina agreed, “But for now we just want to see your work.”

Sebastian, who had been quiet until now, finally piped up, “Yeah, today has been so sloooooow, just waiting and waiting until it was time to go.”

Rayne giggled as she turned to lead them to her display. “I didn’t know you had any interest in art, Seb.”

“I don’t.” He declared with a shake of his head, “I have interest in your art.”

She blushed lightly and looked at her feet. She didn’t know how to reply to that.

“Before we continue, Rayne,” Her father began as they reached her area, “There’s something you should know.”

“What’s up Dad?” Rayne asked curiously, turning to look at her parents.

Jameson and Catalina shared a look before her father continued.

“Some more of our family might be coming.” He said gently, “That’s why we came earlier than we planned.”

“O- Oh.”

“If you’re not comfortable with that,” Catalina quickly added, “We’ll call them right now and tell them to turn around.”

Rayne bit her lip and stared at the floor for a long moment. Was she comfortable with that? Not really, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever be comfortable with it if she kept putting it off. They probably wouldn’t be totally comfortable meeting her either.

She turned to look at her work. If she kept avoiding them it would only make things worse. And right now. Right here. This was where she was her truest self. They would be able to see her, truly see her and who she was. Not just as the quiet introverted kid they had watched grow up, but as someone they could be proud of. Someone who deserved their respect, admiration, and most importantly, their love. If they couldn’t accept her here, then she couldn’t see how they ever would.

She turned back to see her father pulling out his cell phone and dialing a number.

“Don’t call them.” She said.

Her family turned to look at her.

“They can come.” She said confidently, “They can come and see me, and what I’ve created. I want them to, I just didn’t realize it until just now.”

Jameson slowly put his phone back in his pocket and nodded.

“Okay.”

“Now give us the grand tour, Picasso.” Sebastian demanded teasingly.

Rayne turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Picasso was a man, Seb.”

Her brother frowned, “Ms. Picasso?”

Rayne laughed, “Whatever, come on.”

She led them over to her works on the manners of death.

“These five are what I used as my portfolio.” She explained, gesturing to the five pieces displayed together, “They’re what got me here.”

She stood quietly as her family stared at her work.

“Sweetie,” Her father began slowly, eyes wide, “These are fantastic!”

“They really are, Rayne,” Seb agreed, awe leaking into his voice, “Why didn’t you ever share these with us before?”

Rayne just blushed and shrugged, “I dunno.”

It was a lie though. She did know. She had never had the confidence to share her work before. She wasn’t comfortable with it. The very idea would have scared her a year ago – hell, it would have scared her a month ago. On top of that her family had never seemed to have much interest or confidence in her ability. That attitude hadn’t exactly encouraged her to share. But now things were different.

“These are so amazing Sis’!” Evalyn commended her, “But I don’t understand one thing.”

“What’s that?” Rayne asked as Evalyn furrowed her brow.

“The title card.” Evalyn pointed at a small bronze plaque in front of the display. It was engraved:

In addition to that, each of the individual pieces also had a title card.

“That’s the name of all of them together, right?” Evalyn finished.

“Yup!” Rayne confirmed, “That’s the series title, then each individual piece has a title of its own.”

“Okay,” Evalyn nodded in understanding, “But what do these have to do with death? I mean, some of them are obvious, like the old man and the sick child, and the boat murder scene. But then there’s the car and the skyline. I don’t get what those have to add to the… to the theme.”

Rayne opened her mouth to explain, her mother beat her to the punch.

“The Manners of Death,” Catalina read aloud off the title card, “I can only assume this refers to the concept in forensic pathology of the same name that is used to classify the ways a person or animal has died.”

She looked to Rayne for confirmation. Rayne gave it with a nod.

Catalina continued, now in full lawyer mode, “Generally speaking, there are four classifications. Natural causes, accidental, homicide, and suicide. Natural causes include old age and terminal disease, so that explains the old man and the sick child.”

“And homicide explains the boat scene.” Sebastian chipped in.

Rayne smiled and nodded to confirm everything so far.

“Okay, so then that leaves accidental and suicide.” Jameson thought out loud, “Is the car scene supposed to be accidental death? Or is someone intentionally trying to get themselves killed?”

“What’s that?” Sebastian asked, changing the topic and pointing at the boat murder scene. “It looks like there’s something in the water.”

He leaned closer to get a better look.

“Is that supposed to be a reflection? It kinda looks like a skull.”

Rayne giggled, grabbing his attention.

“It’s both!” She declared.

The family looked at her, then each took turns leaning in to get a better look at the reflection.

They stepped back to look at the series as a whole again, each silently working on the puzzle.

“Oh!” Evalyn started, “There!”

She pointed at ‘A Solemn Guardian’.

“Reflected in the window!” She elaborated, “It’s kinda hard to see, but is that the…

“The grim reaper.” Jameson finished for her.

“Ahhhh,” Catalina mused, she turned to look at Rayne. “Very sneaky.”

Rayne smiled and covered her mouth, holding back a laugh.

Catalina turned back to the family,

“I’m willing to bet,” she said slyly, “That Rayne’s hidden the grim reaper somewhere in each of these. If we find them, we might be able to figure the rest out.”

Rayne watched happily as her family proceeded to play a short game of ‘Spot the Spirit of Death’. Now that they knew what they were looking for it didn’t take long. Jameson spotted the shadowed figure in ‘Patiently Waiting’ immediately. Sebastian and Evalyn each noticed the skull-shaped smog in ‘Silently Stalking’ independently, and then debated whether the car’s fumes were intentionally shaped like a skull or if it was a coincidence. Catalina chipped in, saying that if they couldn’t find anything else, then the smog probably wasn’t a coincidence. Sebastian and Evalyn agreed.

The family turned their eyes to the final image.

Catalina nodded immediately. “I think I’ve got it.”

“Don’t tell us!” Evalyn quickly ordered, “I wanna find it myself.”

They stared for a minute, then Jameson nodded, “Ahhhhh.”

Evalyn and Sebastian stared for another minute. Finally, Sebastian shrugged, “Okay I give. How about you Eva?”

She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. “Fine.” She sighed, turning to their mother, “Where’s Death in this one?”

Catalina smiled and pointed at one of the two figures standing in the middle of the painting.

“Right there.” She declared.

“Whaaaaat?” Sebastian asked, “But that’s not hidden at all.”

Jameson laughed, “Rayne? Want to explain?”

“Sure thing Daddio!” Rayne agreed, stepping closer to the family. Jameson wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and drawing a giggle from her.

“It’s just like Mom first said. These pieces are based on the forensic concept of the manners of death. Mom had it spot on when she identified ‘Patiently Waiting’, and ‘A Solemn Guardian’ as natural causes, and Seb was right about ‘Standing in Judgement’ being homicide as well. So like you said, that just leaves accidental death and suici-”

“OOOOOH.” Evalyn exclaimed in realization, interrupting her sister, “I got it.”

Rayne laughed as Sebastian groaned.

“Please,” He began, turning to Evalyn, “Enlighten me, oh wise one.”

Evalyn turned to Rayne in turn, “May I? Then you can tell us if we’re right or not.”

Rayne smiled and gestured to the display, “Be my guest. I’d actually prefer it this way!”

Evalyn smiled. “What’s different between suicide, and all the other manners of death?”

Sebastian just stared at her, uncomprehending.

“In all of them, the person who’s about to die probably doesn’t want to.” Evalyn explained, “They’re avoiding death.”

Understanding dawned in Sebastian’s eyes.

Evalyn continued, “But in suicide…

“The person wants to die.” Sebastian finished for her, “So death doesn’t need to hide from them.”

“Exactly.” Rayne confirmed.

“These are incredible baby,” Catalina praised, “And not just for the art – which is fantastic – but for the hidden message too.”

“Th- thanks.” Rayne mumbled, blushing.

“Shall we continue?” Jameson asked, arm still wrapped around Rayne’s shoulder.

She nodded and they turned towards another section of her work.

The next thing they looked at was her sketchbook. She had it placed on a podium where anyone who was interested could browse its contents. The contents ranged from detailed drawings to scribbles. Some pages were filled with unfinished works, whereas others were filled with practice for drawing figures or supposedly ordinary things.

Evalyn looked at her with a raised eyebrow, posing a silent question after they had flipped through five pages filled with nothing but drawings of human hands in a variety of positions.

Rayne shrugged and explained, “You’d be surprised at how difficult it is to draw a good hand. It’s one of the hardest things to draw well.”

Jameson nodded in confirmation. “I’ve heard that before. In school I rubbed shoulders with some of the artist types. People take their hands for granted, but they’re filled with so many moving parts that they’re actually quite complex.”

Rayne nodded. “That’s why quite often people will draw characters with their hands in their pockets or behind their back or just out of sight for some reason or another. Hands are hard.”

“Hence why you spend a lot of time practicing them.” Sebastian mused.

Rayne nodded and they continued through her sketchbook. They didn’t get very far before two familiar voices rang out.

“EVA! SEB!”

“Lizzie! You gotta be quiet!

The family turned around to see Lizzie running across the room, drawing the attention of quite a few of the other guests.

Her father, Rayne’s uncle Johnathan, ran behind her, trying to catch and silence her before she caused any more of a disturbance. He snatched her up into his arms right before she reached them.

The little girl laughed infectiously as Johnathan shushed her. Finally, the girl calmed down and looked at Rayne and her family. The little girl’s eyes passed over each of them before settling on Rayne with a curious stare. She stuck out her puny hand to point right at Rayne.

“Uncle Jamie? Is that really R-

Lizzie’s cheeks puffed out.

“Daddy says I can’t call her by her old name.” She explained before continuing, “Is that really my cousin?”

Rayne blushed but stepped forward, gently taking Lizzie’s still pointing hand in hers.

“Its really me.” She said quietly, after looking around to make sure no one was in earshot, she quietly continued. “Do you remember the movie we watched together with everyone a few weeks ago?”

Lizzie blinked thoughtfully, “The one about the boy who got to become a princess?”

Rayne giggled and nodded. They clearly remembered it a bit differently, but what mattered was that the little girl remembered.

“Yup! That one.” Rayne confirmed, “Well, I’m like the girl in the movie. I don’t want to be a boy anymore.”

“Oh! That makes sense.” Lizzie said in a tone that made it sound like the most natural thing in the world.

“So you’re okay with that Lizzie?” Rayne asked, “I’m still your favorite cousin?”

Lizzie giggled, “Of course silly, but does this mean you’re a princess?”

Rayne laughed, “Unfortunately no, I’m not a princess.”

Lizzie frowned. “Oh well. I’m not really a princess either, I jus like pretending.”

“Well I think you’d both make excellent princesses.” Johnathan declared playfully.

Lizzie smiled brightly before scrunching her face up thoughtfully.

“So why can’t I call you your name anymore?”

Rayne smiled, “Because I have a different name now. Do you wanna know what it is?”

Lizzie nodded eagerly.

“My name is Rayne.” Rayne introduced herself.

“Rayen?” Lizzie asked.

Rayne smiled, “Not quite. Rayne.”

“Ray-nuh.”

Rayne giggled, “Close enough.”

Johnathan laughed, “Oh no it’s not. C’mon Lizzie, Rayne. Like the weather.”

The little girls face lit up, “Ooooh! Rainy!”

Rayne burst into laughter as Johnathan shook his head in amused exasperation.

“Wanna know a secret Lizzie?” Rayne asked after she had gotten hold of herself.

Lizzie went wide-eyed and nodded.

“The only person who’s allowed to call me ‘Rainy’ is my bestest friend in the whole world.” Rayne looked around furtively, “But you’re my bestest cousin in the whole world, so you can too, okay?”

“Reaaaally?!” The girl asked in wonder.

“Really.” Rayne confirmed.

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Rayne looked to her right to see Berny standing a few feet away. Having caught their attention, he stepped closer.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” He began warmly, “But while I love nothing more than seeing children excited about art, for the sake of the enjoyment of our other guests, I need to ask you to keep the noise down.”

He was clearly referring to when Lizzie had run squealing through the gallery mere minutes earlier.

He smiled warmly at the little girl, still holding hands with Rayne.

“Can you do that for me? Use your inside voice?”

Lizzie looked up at him and nodded.

“I’ll be as quiet as a mouse.” She whispered.

Berny laughed softly and winked at her, “Maybe not that quiet.”

Lizzie giggled as Berny turned towards Rayne’s parents.

“Hello, my name is Bernardo, but everyone calls me Berny. I was one of the judges of the competition. I take it you’re Rayne’s parents?” He offered a handshake, which Jameson took immediately.

“You are correct.” Jameson confirmed, “I’m Jameson, and this is my wife, Catalina.”

Berny shook Catalina’s hand as well.

“Thank you so much for keeping an eye out for our little girl.” Catalina said, smiling warmly.

Berny chuckled, “I really didn’t do that much.”

“I dunno,” Evalyn piped up, “From what Rayne’s told us, you calmed her down a few times when she was about to freak out or break down into tears.”

“Eva!” Rayne scolded her sister, blushing, “Sorry Berny, just ignore my sister there.”

Berny laughed. “I disagree… ‘Eva’? Was it?”

“Evalyn.” Evalyn introduced herself, reaching out to shake the old man’s hand.

“Evalyn.” Berny repeated her name to himself before continuing, “I disagree. I believe Rayne is much stronger than she gives herself credit for. I would not be alone in saying I expect great things from her.”

Rayne blushed and looked at her feet.

“Anyhow,” Berny continued, “I just wanted to introduce myself, we shall have more time to talk later, if not later tonight, then tomorrow at the dinner. You will be coming, correct?”

Rayne nodded.

Berny smiled and nodded back, “Then I’ll excuse myself, Rayne, as it looks like you have some visitors.”

Berny turned to leave as Rayne turned to look back towards where her uncle had been standing.

Next to him stood his wife, Rayne’s Aunt Lisa, looking decidedly less comfortable than her husband.

To her left stood Uncle Frank Danahy the Second, looking around awkwardly.

The final member, and perhaps most surprising visitor, was Rayne’s grandmother, Olivia. She looked the most out of place, wringing her hands in front of her with her lips slightly separated and spread tight. She was staring – almost fearfully – at Rayne.

“H- hi.” Rayne managed, hesitantly raising her hand in a wave. She felt more than saw her parents and sibling move to her back and sides, offering their support.

Olivia licked her lips. Lisa blinked rapidly. Frank seemed to make a point of looking anywhere but at her. None of them responded.

Rayne’s raised hand slowly balled itself into a fist and dropped to her side.

Johnathan pursed his lips and sighed. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“N-no.” Rayne disagreed, “Or at least I hope it wasn’t.”

A long awkard silence passed between them.

“I- I made something.” Rayne said slowly, “To show you all. I don’t know if you’ll like it, hate it, or even remember it… But I made it for all of you, as well as Grandpa. I wasn’t sure if I’d even get the chance to show it to you, but now I get to. So, no matter how you react, no matter what you think, this wasn’t a mistake. Not to me. I’m glad you came.”

There was another awkward silence. None of them said anything.

Rayne bit her lip before stepping towards a corner of her section. She looked back over her shoulder to gesture for them to follow. Slowly, and with some urging from Johnathan, they did.

She led them to a large painting. The one she had spent all week pouring her soul into. She turned back to her family.

“I- I’m not good with words.” She said slowly, “I don’t know how to explain…”

She paused and bit her lip again. Finally, she gestured to herself.

“I don’t know how to explain all of this to you. I don’t know how to get you to understand that this is who I am, that this is me. I’m not trying to hurt any of you, and I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. But I can’t-”

She stopped, her eyes were flicking around, trying to find the right words. Finally, she continued.

“I can’t live in pain anymore. I can’t live in constant discomfort, feeling like I’m suffocating, drowning, being crushed. I can’t do it just to make you feel better.”

She took a deep breath.

“If you can’t accept me with this,” She threw her hands up, “I don’t know what else I can do. I’ll just have to- we’ll ALL just have to accept that our relationship is gone. It’ll hurt. But what else can we do?”

None of the adults said anything, so Rayne just stepped aside and gestured to the painting she had been standing in front of. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched them. The rest of her family came to join them, for they too had yet to see this painting.

Rayne watched silently as they looked at it. Confused recognition was the first reaction, and it was a reaction that almost everyone shared. Rayne shuffled her feet nervously.

Olivia spoke for the first time.

“Th- This is,” She paused, glancing from the painting to Rayne and back again, “This is the picture we took. At the lake last summer.”

She blinked several times.

“I remember… Everyone was teasing you for not smiling.” She frowned, turning to look back at Rayne, “I didn’t think anything of it. You haven’t smiled very much since you were little. I always thought you just- I don’t know, didn’t like smiling.”

“For a long time, smiling was hard.” Rayne mumbled, looking at her feet.

Olivia stared at her grandchild for another moment before turning back to the painting.

Her aunt, uncle, and grandmother stared at the painting for several more minutes. Then, without a word, Olivia moved on. She moved to the next piece in the exhibit. It was a large water color painting of the lake near Rayne’s house. She had taken a picture from the rock where she always sat and had used it as a reference.

Olivia stood quietly and took it in.

Another long minute passed before the silence was broken by Lizzie’s laughter.

“Lookit Mommy!” She whispered, “It’s me!”

Everyone turned to look at where the little girl was pointing. Her chubby hand was pointing at a drawing of small girl. A girl that had an unmistakable resemblance to Lizzie.

Lisa gasped.

“I, uh,” Rayne began hesitantly, “I hope you don’t mind me using it in my exhibit.”

“Rayne.” Johnathan began, stepping closer to the drawing, “Of course we don’t mind! It’s beautiful. Right honey?”

Lisa just nodded, hands covering her mouth.

“Aunt Lisa?” Rayne asked.

Her Aunt turned to face her slowly.

“Um, if you’d like, after the event’s over tomorrow, you can have it. The drawing I mean.”

Aunt Lisa blinked rapidly, tears began to well in her eyes.

“And I’m not just saying that to try and win you over.” Rayne said light heartedly, “No matter what you think of me, if my work was able to get that kind of reaction from you, then you should have it. Plus, I mean, it is your daughter after all.”

Before anything further could be said, Rayne looked away. Some other guest had approached.

“Please excuse me.” She said politely, dipping her head slightly. She turned and stepped away, leaving her family behind to look at her work.
 

~o~O~o~
 
A small rush of guests prevented Rayne from returning to her family’s side for a short time. While she answered questions, and did her best to make a good impression on the various attendees, her family browsed her exhibit. Every now and again she would notice either her aunt Lisa, uncle Frank, or grandmother staring at her, but she did her best to not let it bother her.

Finally, an announcement rang out over the intercom.

“Thank you to everyone for attending, but the gallery will be closing shortly. Please make your way to the exit.”

Rayne turned to look at her family. Her grandmother was speaking quietly to Jameson. As she approached, they hugged, separated, and with a final glance at Rayne, Olivia, Frank, Lisa, Johnathan, and Lizzie departed.

Rayne took a deep breath.

“I have no clue if that went good or bad.” She declared as she joined them.

Catalina pulled her into a hug. “We’ll just have to wait and see. I, for one, think you were magnificent.”

“More than magnificent!” Evalyn insisted, throwing her arms into the hug as well.

Rayne giggled as she felt Sebastian and Jameson’s arms join them as well.

“I just wish we were more supportive earlier on.” Jameson said solemnly, “Then maybe we wouldn’t have had to wait so long to see what you were capable of.”

“So, uh, not to break up this touching family moment.” Sebastian began awkwardly, “But I’m starving.”

Everyone laughed.

“You big idiot.” Evalyn said teasingly, gently punching Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Dinner?” Rayne suggested after everyone had calmed down, “I’m pretty hungry too.”

Everyone agreed, and soon they were headed towards the exit. Rayne checked out with Ms. Mira, and invited her to join them for dinner. Her teacher politely declined and they promised they’d see each other bright and early the next day.

Moments later they were stepping out the doors and into the cool fall evening.

To Rayne’s surprise, her grandmother was waiting for them. Rayne’s aunt and uncles standing just a few feet away.

“O- oh!” Rayne started, surprised to see them again so soon, “Hi.”

Olivia smiled gently.

“Hello Rayne.” She said softly.

The sound of her name. Spoken by her grandmother. It caused her heart to flutter.

“I am,” Olivia began, looking down at her feet and shaking her head, “Ashamed.”

She returned her gaze to her granddaughter.

“I am so ashamed of myself. Of our whole family. For how we reacted. We’re the adults. We’re supposed to be the ones who look after you. Who teach you. Who care for, and nurture, you. And when you needed us, we failed you. We had to wait for you to teach us. Can you ever forgive me?”

Tears were flowing freely down Olivia’s cheeks, not that Rayne could see, however, as she was blinded by her own tears.

“Grandma.” Rayne cried, running to throw her arms around the older woman’s waist, “I missed you so much.”

“I am so sorry.” Olivia whispered into her ear.

Lisa and Frank approached slowly. When grandmother and granddaughter finally separated, Rayne turned to them.

“We’ve been fools.” Frank declared. “But you opened our eyes. Can we try and patch things up? Can we have another chance?”

“Of course.” Rayne sobbed, moving to hug each of them in turn, “We’re family after all.”

“You need to come to Thanksgiving.” Olivia declared. “I won’t have our family split up for the holiday, and I need to pass down the family recipes to all of my granddaughters.”

Rayne blinked rapidly and bit her lip, she glanced at her parents.

“We were going to do our own Thanksgiving. We invited my best friend’s family.”

“They can join us.” Olivia offered quickly, “Please, I don’t want to miss any more time with my grandchildren because of my foolishness.”

“W- What about Grandpa Frank?” Rayne asked hesitantly.

“Your grandfather is being a damned fool of an old man.” Olivia declared adamantly, “He won’t say a single meanspirited word if he knows what’s good for him, and if he does then we’ll go to your Aunt Lisa’s and Uncle John’s without him.”

Rayne couldn’t help but smile at her grandmother’s gumption. She looked to her parents for guidance.

Catalina just whispered, “It’s up to you sweetie.”

Jameson nodded his approval.

Rayne turned back to her grandmother.

“Okay Grandma. We’ll be there.”

Rayne glanced back to her family, everyone was smiling.

“I think we were going to go out for dinner.” Rayne said, looking at her grandmother again, “Would you, Uncle Frank, Aunt Lisa, and Uncle John like to join us?”

“We already ate dear,” Olivia replied, “You go have fun with your family, I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.”

Another hug was exchanged, and Rayne rejoined her parents and siblings.

“I think that answers your question of whether or not it went well.” Jameson lightheartedly declared as they walked across the parking lot.

Rayne smiled and nodded.

“So, where we goin’ for dinner?” Sebastian asked, changing the topic.

“Do you ever stop thinking about food?” Evalyn asked, rolling her eyes.

Rayne laughed as she got into the van, and soon they were on their way. A nice family dinner later, they were on their way home for the night. On the drive, Rayne called Logan to tell him about the change of plans and make sure it was okay. Once home, Rayne wasted no time in heading up to her room. She laid out her clothes for the next day, and dressed for bed. Sleep came easily, and peacefully.

---

---

Greeting and salutations.

Flummox here.

First of all, a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope everyone’s holiday seasons were wonderful, whether you celebrate Christmas or not.

Now.

Oh. My. Gosh.

This took me way to long to get edited.

Ugh. Sorry. I’m always very busy this time of year. Between work, family and friends visiting from out of town, and other commitments, I just haven’t had a lot of free time. I originally planned for this to be out by Christmas. Missed that. Then I aimed for New Years. Missed that too.

But it’s here now.

I am just very bad at time management. Even when I’m not busy.

I know people will tell me not to get stressed out and not to worry about it, but I’m still sorry.